In my defense, let me state this as a matter of public record. I am not evil, or immoral. I am not a plotting spider at the center of a large web, laughing as I lead others to ruin. I was just really, really stupid. And greedy. And lonely. And I'm just going to shut up about that now before I dig myself in further. Let me just restart this. I won't delete what I've written, as it is important. But I'm not a pro at this, and I'm getting ahead of myself. So let me try and tell the tale as it happened, and let the chips fall where they may.

….......

Alright, so I was just finding out what every young adult whose ever come before me has ever known. Work sucks. To be fair, I had done work before. I'd been working since sixteen, the odd burger joint job, pizza delivery, construction work one summer best left forgotten... I was no stranger to the part time job market, and entry level Hell.

But after college, entering the work force for real in your chosen career, wearing a suit complete with tie and jacket in order to fix computers that should probably be put down like old yeller (they still used windows 3.1 compatible machines, for chrissakes!)...Yeah. Twelve hours of that, on my first day, working overtime when some line jockey fried a CPU older than I was by typing the wrong command codes like an untrained monkey, and it needed replacing... work sucked. Half the time spent on that had been trying to find a compatible CPU.

And of course, no overtime for any of that, since it was my first day and I was salary in some vague way that made no sense to anyone sane. My new boss had been quite clear on that. I hadn't even gotten a thank you. One long hot bus ride later, I was standing in front of the convenience store a block from my tiny apartment.

And I was hallucinating.

Not a foot from the automatic door, appearing to set it off in fact, was some sort of creature I'd never dreamed existed. Admittedly my school wasn't the best, but I'd studied and taken some biology in college. It looked like a rabbit, but the ears were all wrong... they were huge and shared as much in common with a feline as lupine. They were catlike. And that puffball tail was all wrong; it was far too big. And it was blue, a sort of charcoal gray with white ventral fur, with light blue eyes which seemed to swirl. And it was standing on it's hind legs, crinkling it's little bunny nose at me and cocking it's head as if it had every right to be upright. Someone must have slipped me something somehow.

At least two people went by, eying the door curiously as they went through, no doubt wondering why it stayed open when I wasn't triggering it. Those on the way out, eyed me. Then the thing spoke, and I knew I'd gone insane.

“Hello.”

It waved a strange paw at me. What could I do? I could ignore it, or feed the delusion. Or drug inspired hallucination. Something. Maybe I had picked it up on the bus ride home? I could have picked up all kinds of things from the homeless looking guy that was next to me on the hour long ride home. Whatever; I'd detox and see what happened. But for now I was hungry. I waved back and went inside. Whatever it was didn't follow.

Let's see... month old hot dogs in one of those conveyer cookers, month old unfrozen burritos I could microwave, small TV dinner like things, day old pizza, and week old sandwiches. Not much of a selection. And there, among the dross like a diamond sparkling from a pile of feces, was a sandwich... a ham on rye. Marked with today's date, and not eaten yet. I double checked; my eyes had recently taken up lying to me. The date was right, and didn't squiggle itself around or go technicolor.

I grabbed it before the guy that just walked up could, a mechanic who shot me a dirty look. I felt bad for him, but this was my find! I probably shouldn't hold it to my chest as if it were the holy grail though. I snagged some chips and a snapple on my way to check out; have to make some attempt to eat healthy or I might end up like my old man. The line moved fast, and I was back out among the waning light and deepening shadows.

The bunny thing was still there, beady eyes for me and no one else. I walked past it. Nothing else seemed tinged toward the insane; cars going by were still cars, the roads were still straight, everything was the color it was supposed to be. That woman had to be a street walker....

And I was perpetually broke. Not to mention worried about diseases. Sigh. I continued past, chewing as I walked, and avoiding eye contact. Forever alone, always alone. I wasn't attractive enough. I wasn't geeky enough to interest the nerd girls, wasn't buff and jock enough for the cheerleader types, and wasn't rich enough to pay, or to attract those looking for a sugar daddy. Those last two would be my best bet later in life. If I could just get through this job, which felt like it was sucking out my soul... in only one day. Only forty more years of that!

My apartment was one of a series of small cottages, built like certain types of motels, which it may have been at one time. I preferred not to think about that; I'd used three bottles of bleach moving in. The entire thing was one room, with 'areas': a kitchenette, a bedroom, living area, laundry room. Only the bathroom had walls around it. I'd just reached my door when I heard a throat clearing behind me.

The rabbit thing had followed me. It was back in the same position I'd seen it, and it now knows where I live. If this thing wasn't a hallucination, if it did in fact belong in my reality somehow... dread drained the heat from me. Something about this was wrong; very wrong. Again, it spoke.

“Hello, Ian Geru.”

And it waved that same paw again.

I guess as my hallucination, I shouldn't be surprised that it knew my name. But it did. No one was around; time to play it cool.

“That's right, I know you?”

It shook it's head much as a human might, something I thought was impossible for an animal put together like a rabbit should be. Perhaps the neck was that of a cat? But it moved it's neck in the human way, not the cat way....

“You do not, Ian. But I do know you. Ian Geru, aged 21.4 years, male, graduate of Millton Community College, grade point average 3.5. A classic underachiever, son of Brenda and Gerald Geru, blood type O negative, and virgin. Might I call you Ian?”

It crinkled it's nose at me again.

Of course as a drug induced figment of my imagination, he knew all about me, but it was still a bit shocking to hear it all said like that.

“Sure, why not? And who are you?”

“My name is Hoshiko. I have come to you today with a unique offer.”

I managed to slot my key in the lock and get my door open. As soon as it was open the little creature bolted inside.

“Thank you for your invitation.”

I entered behind him to find him pawing through my things, my old boxed models specifically. Staring at my old Zentraedi cruiser before throwing it casually aside. I winced when it bounced, but it appears to have survived.

“So, what unique offer are you, um, offering?”

A battlepod followed it's ship home on the floor before it? He? Turned back to me and cleared his throat, puffing himself up and droning as if by rote.

“On behalf of the galactic federation, I am hear to offer you a wish; your heart's desire.”

Well this was an interesting turn for a hallucination to take. I checked the models; they were fine, thankfully. I put them out of this things reach, along with the others, and when I turned around, he was in my anime DVD collection.

“Oh? Why me?”

It turned back to me and said with utmost sincerity:

“You share all of the qualifications we look for in our recipients. This wish is not without cost; you must do something for us in exchange.”

I asked what I felt was the next logical question.

“Like what?”

“I am not currently at liberty to say. I can only divulge that information when you agree to the terms.”

Legalese, the bane of my existence. My mind sucked.

“And what are those terms?”

The creature moved on to my regular movies now.

“That you must not tell anyone of my existence, or of the wish you made, or it's ramifications. That is the only stipulation.”

Hmm. Monkey's paw thing maybe?

“So, can I wish for a million dollars and just pay you back, or will you go rob some poor millionaire?”

I wouldn't wish for a million, I'd wish for a billion. A mere million dollars just wouldn't go far anymore.

“Oh! Oh no, you misunderstand me, Ian Geru. Your wish is specific.”

I waited a loaded moment before finally realizing he wasn't going to tell me unless I asked.

“Well, what is it?”

“Help in your love efforts of course. How would you like to meet the girl of your dreams? The girl you could spend the rest of your life with? Meet her without any awkwardness inspired by differences in social standing, or compatibility? And meet her knowing that she feels the same about you, as you do her?”

What? My mind was sick. Even more twisted than I thought before, because what it was offering... it was a punch in the gut. Or the nads. I was so lonely. I found my voice, struck by the absurdity of responding vocally to a figment of my imagination.

“Y..Yes. That would be good. What are you, some sort of cupid?”

It... he, cocked his head for a moment, considering.

“I suppose I could be considered such. A magical match making service is an apt analogy, though I do not fly or use a bow. Also included in your wish is a better job, and increased popularity. There are other positive effects as well, but they cannot be properly codified.”

You actually could burst out in a cold sweat; strange. This just wasn't right; I was being taunted with everything that I lacked; everything that made my life suck by it's absence. This was rapidly getting into the 'not funny anymore' range.

“And who would I have to kill for all this? I won't murder people for your organization, or federation, or whatever it is.”

Even if I was seeing things, I wouldn't go the way of Gacy or Son of Sam. I didn't doubt my sanity, but if voices in my head told me to kill, I'd check myself into the nearest mental hospital and not leave until the creature did.

Hoshiko muttered something about 'always murder', then responded more clearly.

“You will not need to murder or kill any humans in order to pay for this wish. You will not need to commit any felonies in order to pay for this wish, in fact.”

Well back into the less squicky areas of my psyche, then.

“But you won't tell me what I need to do?”

“I cannot unless you agree to the terms involved in the wish. It is a confidential matter.”

“But not an illegal one?”

The creature Hoshiko shook his head, making his ears flop.

“Incorrect. The repayment may in fact require the commission of misdemeanors.”

So I'd have to break the law, and do what? Vandalism? Petty theft?

I couldn't believe I was even entertaining this. Oh well, it was more entertaining than the book I usually read myself to sleep with. I was too poor for TV or internet at the moment. And after the beating my psyche was taking from this drug delusion, I could definitely use the internet. Or a cold shower. One or the other, really.

“So what kinds of misdemeanors?”

“The use of misdemeanors is optional. We do not require it, only that the will to commit such acts when deemed necessary exist.

“So I don't have to hurt other people?”

Hoshiko's eyes flashed.

“It is not required. You are free to do so if you desire, but such acts might compromise your ability to repay us. Situations such as that should be avoided if at all possible.”

Heh. Odd, the crazy figment should know I was law abiding; almost painfully so. It continued.

“So would this offer be of interest to you?”

The creature seemed strangely intent all of a sudden, turning from my scattered movies with an intent look that, even on something so small and defenseless, gave me pause.

“What are you, anyway? Some kind of demon?”

Just like that, whatever tension there was broke. The thing started wheezing. Was that laughter?

“Of course not. I am a cabbit.”

What?

“What the fuck is a cabbit?”

I could swear the creature winced.

“Please do not use foul language in my presence. A cabbit is a hybrid of cat and rabbit made popular in some forms of media on your plant. It is unusual that you do not know this.”

Well I couldn't argue that. I felt like I should recognize this critter from somewhere, it did tickle my memory... but then, it should, since it was from my subconscious. I'm not sure what it said about me that I didn't directly recognize something from my own head.

“How do I know you're telling the truth?”

The cabbit pondered that.

“I suppose you do not, until I show proof of intent. I do not lie; I am incapable of it. Proof will be supplied when I deliver on your wish, would you not agree?”

Well, would it? Wasn't he, Hoshiko, the cabbit, just offering to play matchmaker? Would that be something obvious? Well given my life and lifestyle, probably. Any woman in my life would be amazing. One not pointing at me and laughing would be a miracle.

Why was I even entertaining this like it was something worthy of thought? I was hallucinating. Either I'd been slipped drugs as part of some bizarre hazing, or my brain had burst a blood vessel or something similar. And at this point, even death by cerebral hemorrhage didn't sound half bad. I was simply too tired to care. My dad had told me at 10 that magic was all bullshit. That dreams died, fantasies withered, and all of it was a lie. He did that to get me to stop playing magic: the gathering, I knew that now. But the basic point stuck with me. Why not give the hallucination a chance to prove that wrong? After all, if it was, I was the only one getting hurt, and if not... oh, if not....

“You know what Hoshiko? Sure, I'll do it. Sign me up for my wish. But if you've lied to me and want me to become a hit-man or something, I won't do it.”

Hoshiko nodded and hopped forward, speaking the next part as if by rote from a teleprompter.

“Your assent and qualifier is duly noted. Now, as part of the service, please tell me about the girl of your dreams. What is she like? What are her interests? Her abilities? Her past? Her physical description?”

I had some beer in my fifty year old barrel shaped pea soup green fridge, so I went for it. I had been saving it for a special occasion; even though it was cheap, I couldn't replace it. But I needed one now. It was a Coors, which meant it really wasn't much; it and about nine more of it's kind might give me a buzz. I heaved myself into my broken couch, and Hoshiko jumped up next to me, waiting with a measure of impatience as I ordered my thoughts.

“Well, ideally, she will be cool, calm, and collected. Smarter than I am, with better focus. She will know what she wants out of life. Her abilities and past can be anything, I'm not that picky. It might be nice if she was more athletic than I was, but it's not mandatory. But where you're going to find a woman like that who would like me, is anyone's guess.”

“I am good at my task, Ian. I already have the first candidates in mind.”

“Oh really? Got them on speed dial on your cellphone?”

I'd almost asked if he had them digits, but I didn't think he'd get the joke, and wanted to play nice. Playing nice with the voices in my head; I'd had a truly miserable day. I stared at the half empty Coors can.

“Say, can you change this into something stronger? A liquor like say, tequila?”

“I can, would you like me to? As an addition to your wish?”

Whoa, that was how they got you. Retro me, voice in my head.

“No, I'd like you just to do me a favor. You already have me for the wish, remember?”

Hoshiko sat deathly still for a long moment. I could see his eyes flash something, but it was so fast I couldn't make sense of it. When he finally replied I almost dropped my beer; my eyes had been closing against their will.

“That is agreeable. I cannot do tequila, but I can do a form of rum. Would that be acceptable?”

“Yes that'll work. Thank you.”

He stared at the can. His nod was my cue, and I took a cautious sip. It still tasted like Coors to me.

“Now Ian, quickly. Please tell me, what about the last question? What are the physical parameters of your dream girl?”

Whoops. Now here was where I became a hypocrite. I wanted my match to be hot. Like smoking hot, model hot, actress hot. And this would be the deal-breaker, even for the wish genie creature. Heck, this might just be the key to popping this delusion once and for all, no matter how much having a weird hallucination tell me I was stupid for demanding perfection would be. I downed the rest of the beer before biting the bullet.

“Well, again ideally here, she would be beautiful. The more beautiful the better. Hmm, not as tall as me, I kind of consider that a turn-off. Thin, decently muscled but not a bodybuilder, I prefer long hair.”

My vision narrowed, with darkness around the edges all at once. I heard the can bounce off the floor, though it seemed from far away, but Hoshiko's voice was clear as a bell and his face filled my vision.

“And? We don't have much time left Ian, what about her figure?”

I tried to illustrate but my hands wouldn't move; Had my brain actually blown a gasket after all? I had to settle for speech that was uncomfortably slurred.

“Hourglass shape, of course. Stacked.”

He nodded emphatically as my body, all of it, began this slow thundering tingle as if it were asleep.

“Done! You shall see your dream girl when you wake.”

I'm sure many of you now are grinning in smug superiority, already sure where this tale is leading and sure that it could never happen to you, that you were far more intelligent and clever than I. Than any of us, in fact. You could never be so stupid as to fall for such an obvious trap; we all like to believe such lies.

The truth is the rose colored glasses we filter reality through, the blind belief that something like this could never happen, or could never happen to me, are glasses every human possesses. We pay for them, trading in our true view of reality and the universe willingly to delude ourselves about our importance or ability. At least, until the scales are forcibly ripped from our eyes.

So many of you, the majority of you, would have disbelieved the entire situation as well, and therefore found yourselves right where I was. And where I was, was waking up slumped on my couch, with the sunlight hitting me directly in the face.

Oh shit, my job! If the sunlight was able to hit me, it was 7 am, and I was late!

I managed to get my eyes open, only to see an absolutely huge pair of eyes and a large twitching nose inches from mine.

“Gahhhh!”

My vision widened to include all of the critter, the rabbit thing from last night, and also what the rabbit thing was sitting on. He was sitting on my chest, which was swelled up well beyond my head. I could feel the pressure as the creature shifted on me. There were two mounds of flesh the size of cantaloupes on my chest, that he was nestling between.

“What the hell!”

The creature – Hoshiko – went flying as I sat up, registering my now changed voice. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be happening, this was impossible!

Oh, right. Hoshiko was still here, I was imagining breasts the size of bongo drums on my chest and a voice that would probably manage quite a Marilyn Monroe impression coming from my throat. Obviously I'd moved on from simple auditory and visual hallucinations to tactile ones as well. I couldn't ignore this anymore; I needed to go to a hospital and either be diagnosed with the brain tumor or committed. But first I should probably call in.

I sat up and felt the pull of gravity immediately; what were these imagined puppies anyway? Double D's? E's? Had to be at least that; they were huge. Not that I was that familiar with breast sizes. These things though, jutted out from me like the twin prow of a battleship. Or perhaps tanker prows would be more apt an analogy. A hand crept downwards; I'd hoped I'd still be able to feel little Ian, but was worried I wouldn't.

The cloth the hand crept downwards on was fine silk, sheer and shimmery, a bright white trimmed with large almost neon blue accents. It was a dress of some kind, but it appeared to just be held in place with delicate knots in delicate dark blue cords. It left a large part of hallucinatory me bare; I could see right down the front, and while it was long it didn't encase my legs, and so left them free. And they were gorgeous and went all the way up. My visible skin was a glossy almost translucent white, and strands of hair, both white and light blue, obscured my vision as I sat up and looked for my phone.

My hand reached it's objective, and I discovered that not only could I not feel little Ian, I couldn't feel any underwear, of any kind. Now it didn't surprise me to not see or feel some restraint on my fake chest, but to not feel my boxers was an entire new level of weird. I felt the dress thing, easily. It felt like it was worth more than my entire wardrobe on it's own.

My phone was an older model cheap pay by month phone. There was a phone where I normally kept mine, only this one was an ice blue Samsung Galaxy. I checked it, and it had a network connection... and the current time of 7:21.

It also had my numbers for take out places and taxi services. The number for my parents... the number for my job. Telling my parents I had gone insane or had a brain tumor and now saw myself as female will be an awkward conversation. But I could put it off in favor of a proper diagnosis. I hit speed dial on the proper number.

“Fritz Trucking, IT department, how may I help you?”

Crap it was my boss Monte. Monte was a jerk, and I knew what would happen next. It would have been nicer if my co-workers, any of them, had answered. I'd have preferred Diane, who was pretty hot and seemed nice, but Monte was what I got. So playing the hunch, I removed my phone from my ear.

“Hi Boss, this is Ian. I can't make it into work today, as I have a brain tumor.”

If I was going down, I was going to go down with a bang and not a whimper. Monte's voice changed from pleasant to less so in an instant.

“Ian, you little punk. You've only worked one day. You get here, on time, or you're fired.”

I winced. He was even louder than I thought he'd be. Well, I couldn't even make it on time even if I wanted to ignore the way my chest was bouncing, and the hair pooling on the couch around me. Real or not, it all felt real, and would certainly be one hell of a distraction throughout the day.

“Fine boss, don't worry about my brain tumor or anything, just can me and get the state down on you like a ton of bricks for unfair work practices.”

It wasn't like I could help any of this, darn it!

“Hmm, come to think of it, Ian, that is your number but you sound... different. Maybe you really are sick.”

Wait, I sounded different? Was I hearing that or mishearing that due to mental insanity?

“I can assure you, boss, I am.”

“Alright. You deal with it, go to the hospital and get a note from a doctor when you do. If he O.K.'s it, then you're in the clear. Just stay away from here till then.”

And he hung up on me. Well, that thoroughly creeped me out. I looked at the creature, still looking at me with that unsettling gaze.

“Good morning, Isolde. How do you feel?”

What?

“Why are you still here? You're a remarkably persistent hallucination. And who the hell is Isolde?”

Even the growl sounded more like a purr. A low sultry purr that might well have made my soldier stand, if he wasn't AWOL.

“You are Isolde. Ian is not a female name, and use of a male name for a female would arouse suspicions we can ill afford.”

“First off, I'm not a woman. Second off, if I was a woman, wouldn't I get a choice in names to use?”

Hoshiko cocked his head and scrunched his nose in a way that was probably cute.

“No, you do not get your choice in name; I do. And you are a woman. You have the genitalia and secondary sexual characteristics of a female. Your license and other identification list you as female, and other humans will see you as such. Did something go wrong in the process?”

“Alright, I'll bite. And why am I a woman this morning, exactly?”

Hoshiko's ears flopped, as if not believing his hearing.

“Your wish, of course.”

I wasn't buying it. I tried to cross my arms, but there was no way that was possible now. Trying to squeeze the illusions was well, uncomfortable and vaguely painful.

“And what does my wish have to do with my genitals, exactly?”

“This is hardly the setting to discuss matters of such import, Isolde.”

I interrupted the evasion.

“This is exactly the right setting to discuss matters of such import, Hoshiko. Right here, right now. Consider it a trust building exercise.”

I managed to stop short of threatening the thing with physical violence; after all, what would the point in threatening a figment of my mind be? The creature (Cabbit, my mind whispered through the mental fog shrouding my thoughts) stared at me a moment before relenting.

“That is acceptable. The terms of the contract you agreed to was one wish to meet the girl of your dreams, and an opportunity to spend the rest of your life with her, free of differences in social standing or ability. In exchange you had to do a job for my masters, and I was to be your liaison, trainer, and manager for the job. The nature of your contract is payment before delivery; that is, you are required to do the job we requested in order to receive your wish. In order for you to correctly perform your new job, you had to be transformed into a magical girl.”

….what?

It all slammed home in my mind; I was a failure of an Otaku. Cabbits were a form of magical girl mascot, like rabbits and cats, only less real. Last night this asshole of a thing had been sorting my anime DVD collection into categories... those with magical girls and those without. Only I'd been too tired and worried about my mental health to realize it.

“Why couldn't I be a magic using guy?”

Hoshiko hopped up on the couch I'd vacated, snorting his disgust at the very idea.

“Don't be silly. Only magical girls can use magical girl magic. And magic is required for you to perform your job for us.”

…Did that even make sense?

“What, for the sake of argument, do I need to do? What is this job of yours?”

“Why, fight an evil which threatens all humanity of course. An alien race that your kind have known before throughout human history as demons.”

....right. Clearly, I could skip the hospital and go straight to the asylum.

“I haven't seen any evidence of any alien races, invading or not. Neither has anyone else.”

I made a show of looking out the window before turning back the insufferable thing.

“Nope, nothing there.”

The cabbit sighed again.

“You have seen evidence of an alien race; namely, myself. Humanity has no evidence of the invasion because it hasn't happened yet. But it will happen, and there must be defenders of humanity, or humanity will be defeated.”

None of this made any sense at all.

“And what do you and your bosses get out of this?”

Hoshiko cocked his head again.

“My superiors are altruistic in this matter. They desire to see intelligent life in the multi-verse continue. Humanity qualifies as intelligent life, after a fashion. Well, at least with the criteria expanded slightly. However my superiors do not wish to engage in direct interstellar war over the fate of humanity, instead favoring the approach giving humanity the tools to defend itself. So rejoice monkey, for you have been chosen.”

And the little creep huzzahed with it's paws up. Lord only knew where it got the miniature pom poms. The little cheerleader aids disappeared between one blink and the next as if they had never been, and Hoshiko settled back onto his haunches. I fought down the spike of jealousy; the view of him standing up had left no doubts as to what sex he was. If I wasn't just insane, he was using magic! So why didn't his rules apply to him?

“You're using magic.”

“Of course I am, Isolde. I am your trainer and manager, and am allowed to use magic in order to support and sustain you.”

“Don't call me by that name. That is not my name!”

“But it is Isolde. The magic is very complete, and can easily handle something as simple as the alteration of a name. I can assure you that to the world at large, you are Isolde Geru, only child of Ryan and Sophia Geru, sixteen years old and an emancipated minor who works as an editor for a small publishing company.

He paused and cocked his head.

“Though visiting your parents in this state might be a tad awkward, as they would definitely remember you as male. Also, any friends you may have had would remember your past self. Though, from what I understand, you have no friends. So that should be a moot point.”

Oh, ouch. Low blow. But I had to focus here.

“Sixteen and an emancipated minor? I'm 21.”

Hoshiko sniffed again and wrinkled his nose.

“Of course you aren't. You are a magical girl, and women can't be magical girls; they are too old. That would make you some sort of magical woman, and that idea is just as ludicrous as a 'magical guy'.”

You know what? I don't even care that that statement made no sense at all. Just didn't care. Wasn't going to let it bother me at all. Next question.

“What else changed?”

“A surprisingly pertinent question. Your occupation for one. You are a magical girl, but you are also an editor for an internet publication agency. This particular agency pays well in addition to allowing you to make your own hours, which will be perfect for our demon slaying purposes. Your place of residence has also changed, as this apartment does not allow exotic pets, and under the terms of the lease, I qualify as such. A small expense account has been authorized under your new identity to handle the cost of the move, as well as associated costs dealing with the invaders. You did request a change in occupation as part of your wish.”

The devil is in the details, indeed.

“So I don't live here anymore?”

Hoshiko shook his head, causing his ears to flop all over.

“No, you do not. And I do believe the management of this facility will be arriving shortly in order to emphasize that fact. It would be best if we were gone by then.”

Right. I headed down the short hall to the bathroom. Coors tended to go through one in the best of times, and this was hardly the best of times. I needed to piss like a racehorse. I'd been asleep a good ten hours give or take some minutes, and nature was calling collect.

There was a mirror in the bathroom, a cheap thing hanging over the sink by hooks. It wasn't full length of course, but the image it held arrested my momentum nonetheless.

The image was exotic; unusual beyond any mere normal exotic. The new me was a few inches shorter than the old me, standing at 5 feet 6 inches or I'd eat something unpleasant. Thin yet busty of course, with mammoth breasts I couldn't see my feet past, the waist was tiny; much thinner than my old 30 inch one. My hips and derriere blossomed enticingly outwards, leading to relatively long silky legs. There was just a hint of muscle underneath the alabaster skin throughout.

My new face was delicate, refined, with a long straight pert nose and what almost appeared to be an epicanthic eye fold. There was just a hint of color in the high cheeks, and large almost ruby lips just shy of what botox would be responsible for framed a mouth of straight ivory white teeth.

But the capper, the most arresting assets the new me had, weren't the breasts, or the legs, or the lips... they were a somehow perfect double whammy that would make it impossible for me to blend in anywhere.

My old eyes had been a watery faded blue, the kind that nothing good was ever said about. The best thing about them was, I hadn't needed glasses. My new eyes were like bright chips of faceted blue ice chipped from some ancient ice pack and set into my head. The hair furthered the illusion, alternating between strands of frosty white and strands of sheerest blue, it both looked and fell like a gentle rippling waterfall to my knees.

In short, while I had the body of an exotic dancer, porn star, or gravure model, the refined facial features, eyes and hair put the lie to that first impression but good. There was something about the complete package... if I had seen this lady on the street, I would have assumed she was an upper class noble somehow. Maybe British. This body failed at being crass somehow; it was a body about which sonnets were sung, and epics composed. The dress or whatever it was only added to the effect.

Too bad it was mine.

The stupid dress wouldn't come undone. Those delicate looking knots weren't all that delicate. I finally had to settle for hiking it up. A good thing I'd closed the door without thought; I was pretty sure Hoshiko was waiting outside with that stare of his, and wouldn't have wasted the opportunity for a peek. I wouldn't have, and wouldn't even now, but I couldn't even see my feet, let alone anything else.

I could feel it though, and it felt pretty much like I expected. Which was beginning to poke holes in the hallucination theory, because I had only the faintest idea on how it should feel on the guy's side, and absolutely none at all from the other side. The gentle boiling warmth I felt from just a simple tap to parts unknown was much different; completely foreign to everything else I'd ever felt coming from my nethers before.

And I should probably stop that and just pee before I did something I might later regret, like give that talking rat out there ammunition. I almost pissed myself before remembering to sit down. The feel of liquid beginning to dribble down by leg reminded me.

“So I'm a magical girl then Hoshiko?”

“Yes.”

The answer sounded right outside the door, as expected.

“Then what are my magical powers, exactly?”

I doubted it was to look sexy as hell; seemed to be managing that all on my own.

“An excellent question. There are many types of magical girl, from physical hand to hand specialists to those that command the forces of life and death itself. Yours are element based; specifically, power over cold and ice. The possibilities involving your powers use are nearly endless, and you will no doubt be a strong warrior for love and justice when fully trained.”

Cold and ice, huh? Guess it fit the theme I had going on. I took a washcloth and soap and wiped myself. Then I washed my hands and dried off with my lone towel before opening the door to Hoshiko's unsettling gaze.

“So how do these powers over cold and ice work?”

“Concentration and focus, ideally. However, instead of instruction, we should instead pack any belongings you wish to keep and leave before management arrives to show this apartment to prospective renters.”

Right, according to the hallucinations, I didn't live here anymore.

“You do realize I think this is all one big mind-fuck, right? That I don't actually believe any of this is real? I intend to leave here and go directly to a hospital so they can find the brain tumor or whatever it is that's causing these delusions of mine. That includes you. Probably right after breakfast; I'm hungry.”

“A journey to a hospital would not be conducive to your new job or career. They will not find anything physically wrong with you, and you will end up being committed in a mental institution.”

“Well If I'm crazy, then that should probably happen. I won't get well running around with you by my side.”

Hoshiko cocked his head and stared at me again. That was already getting old.

“But if you are institutionalized, you will be unable to complete your payment for our contract, and will thus be unable to receive your wish. You will also be unable to return to your previous state.”

Wait, what?
“What do you mean, Hoshiko? My previous state?”

The cabbit bounded down the hall as if bored with the conversation, and began packing my DVD's. The ones he had sorted last night, I noticed.

“Your previous gender of course. While you will be unable to return completely to your old self, as completion of your wish will require certain physical adjustments, return to your male gender is possible. Should you renege on your payment, that reversion will not be possible.”

Ack.

“But if you are a delusion, then my new self is a delusion anyway, and proper mental care will 'revert' me.”

I couldn't bring myself to say female form. That felt like bowing to inevitability, or something. Hoshiko cocked his head the other direction and scrunched his nose.

“That is... a logical line of reasoning. Allow me to make a wager with you. If you can prove that you are suffering delusions, I will relent and offer you a boon; a favor, payment free. If however I can prove that you are not suffering any delusions, that you are in fact female and in possession of magic, then you must accept this and grant me a boon instead.”

You know what? Screw it.

“Deal. How would you go about proving me wrong? Since anything you say or can demonstrate can be seen by me as a delusion.”

“Leave that to me. Allow me to collect my boon first, if you would.”

“And what boon would that be? I'm not falling for that trick again, hallucination or no.”

Hoshiko finished boxing my DVD's, and moved on to my games. I had a generation old game system, but the games I'd kept were still pretty amazing.

“Simple. Give me one day to prove beyond any doubt that you are not hallucinating. You must act as if what I am saying is accurate, and you trust and believe me. If at the end of the day you are not convinced, I will escort you to the hospital myself.”

Hmm, more time spent dealing as if this was true. I guess I could give him the time... it wasn't as if I were in a hurry to get fitted with a straight jacket. I could wait until the end of the day.

“Alright, and how will you prove that?”

Hoshiko moved on to my bureau and began throwing clothes out of it.

“I will not. Your experiences throughout the day will. For example; you have now felt what the act of relieving one's self is like for a female of your species. It was different than the act for a male. So then how do you reconcile the issue? Do you believe that you can correctly hallucinate what such a sensation feels like? Or other proper female sensations without any frame of reference?”

A good point. But again, it proved nothing.

“Do you believe that those sensations are accurate or even there at all? I could just be hallucinating them, and deluding myself into believing they are accurate.”

He paused and sighed, holding up an old oversized pair of sweats that I used to be lazy in, which he set aside before resuming throwing my clothes on the floor. A pair of my boxers went flying by my head as he responded.

“You are going to be exceedingly difficult to convince.”

I couldn't resist the smirk pulling my lips.

“Not up to the challenge?”

Hoshiko turned back to me.

“Of course I am. I am a professional magical girl assistant. Now please, help me pack your things. There is much we will have to leave, but if we do not hurry you will be forced to leave all of your belongings. Remember, my boon is that you act as if I am correct.”

Well if he wasn't, then I could always come back here. And if he was, then I really should get a move on. It was now eight-o-clock. What did I absolutely need to take, and what could I live without? My wallet with I.D. and social security card needed to come. My meager savings needed to come. My few photos... I grabbed a box and started throwing stuff in it; mostly eclectic junk that I didn't want to let out of my sight... like my first Halloween light up button, or my zippo that I got for my birthday after dad had caught me smoking behind the house.

Precious memories, in other words, no matter how stupid that sounded.

Hoshiko had found my old college pack from somewhere and was shoveling DVD's and games into it. He'd left the game system out though, and it was kind of necessary for both. I debating about saying something, but when he kicked a controller into the wall I held my peace; let him learn the hard way.

My computer was just too big. An old chugging desktop with a failing fan, it had seen it's share of use, but it was all I had as far as computing power. Well, not anymore; there was the new smart phone, still lying on the battered and nicked coffee table I'd scrounged from someone's garage sale. It went into the box.

I had more questions.

“So, how do I regain my, um, former package, assuming I believe you? I don't remember anything in our agreement that so much as mentions any of this.”

“It is very simple Isolde. You simply need to destroy the invaders. In order to make you a magical girl, much of what made you a male member of your species was drained. The invaders have masculinity in abundance. If you destroy them, you may siphon excess masculinity from them. Enough masculinity drained, and you will 'regain your package', as you so crudely put it. Do this, and your debt to us will be paid, your wish granted. Should you be the first to do so, you will have your choice of women and none of those you choose will be able to refuse you. You will also be able to keep your powers, and any other power you may have gained.”

….What? This had to be a delusion. How the hell could you even drain masculinity? From anyone, let alone from an alien?

“You do realize that makes no sense, right Hoshiko?”

He turned to me with what could only be a smile.

“It makes perfect sense. And that was the first time you've called me by name, Isolde.”

“Yeah well don't get used to it; it doesn't mean anything. Just happened to remember it finally. And don't call me Isolde! That isn't my name.”

“Isolde is your name for the foreseeable future. You should get used to hearing it.”

A single question always seemed to lead to more. I HATED that.

“By the way Hoshiko, I thought you said that I wouldn't need to commit any crimes to pay my debt. Not so sure about where you come from, but around here murder is a crime, and killing aliens might well be considered murder.”

Now there is one thing that college aged men all have and keep religiously, no matter how bad it looks or desperate it seems. Those are hope condoms. The worse the reputation and lower the chance of actually scoring, the more likely you are to see the random plastic package or even box. Words cannot express my unease and dare I admit panic when I saw that Hoshiko had opened my nightstand drawer and found my box of hope condoms, and was checking the expiration date. With a shrug, they went into the pack.

“Oh the invaders are not alive, so they cannot be killed or murdered. They are an animate form of machine.”

Wait a minute... machines running on masculinity? Oh HELL no. Nope nope nope.

“What do these invaders look like?”

“The look varies. Some take forms resembling humans, and some take forms resembling beasts of this planet and some rare ones take forms resembling life on other planets.”

“Slimy, tentacles, kind of amorphous?”

“Many of them share such traits, yes.”

I'd seen this before. We were now squarely into hentai range, and I wasn't staying anywhere near it. At least it explained Hoshiko packing my condoms. I resolved right then and there to lose the box the minute his back was turned.

“I can blast them from range, right? Nice, safe range?”

Hoshiko turned to me and I could almost swear I knew what he was thinking. 'Why so squeemish all of a sudden?' If he was, he didn't call me out on it.

“It should be possible to form ice and then strike them with it from a distance. How they are destroyed does not matter; you are free to become as creative in such endeavors as you wish.”

He turned back to the nightstand and it's contents, mostly old and half used aromatherapy candles. And of course, now I was even more self conscious. I rooted that phone out of the box and looked at it. It stated the time was 8:24. If I wanted to avoid any potential craziness, I would need to be out of here by no later than another 20 minutes. And I didn't want to go out into the great wide world in this freaking dress, or whatever it was. I grabbed my sweats and retreated once more to the bathroom.

Once again I was against the knots on this accursed thing; but this time I was less... rushed. Now I could see that the loops themselves were looped into each other, and all I needed to do was pull the one to the right. I did so and the cloth separated easily. I pulled it off and kicked it in the corner.

My sweats, even stretchy as they were, did not fit. I was able to get the pants on, though they were too tall, and a bit baggy in the legs, the hips... that amazing line stretched the cloth to it's limits. Not to mention made it very obvious I wasn't wearing anything underneath. The top was even worse, showing off just as much and constraining the tankers to a painful degree. When I moved I swear I heard stitching rip.

“Hoshiko! Get in here, I need you.”

The door opened immediately, and he hopped in. How he had managed to reach the doorknob I don't know.

“Yes Isolde? What seems to be the problem?”

This critter couldn't be that dense.

“Isn't it obvious?”

He scanned me and nodded.

“Ahh, you appear to have lost your wrap. Shall I teach you how to summon a new one?”

Of all the infuriating...! My foot stung I stomped it down so hard; not to mention the floor shook and creaked alarmingly. It wasn't as if this place was exceptionally well put together.

“No. That thing you somehow magicked on me was unsuitable to walk down the streets with. I'd have stood out. Questions would have be asked, questions I don't think either of us want to answer. These would be more suitable, and are about the only thing I have that might pass. The only problem is they don't quite fit, and I'd like you to use your mojo to make them fit. Consider it part of your magical mascot duties. After all, if I'm arrested for indecent exposure I won't be able to help you stop any invasions.”

He wrinkled his nose at me, thinking. I'm catching on to his looks, I think.

“That is reasonable, and falls neatly under my job description. At least this time. Hold still please.”

And my ratty gray sweat started to writhe on my form, adjusting here, restitching themselves there, bleeding color and changing fit. As soon as I could properly breathe again I did so. Then I looked down.

The sweats had changed from an old men's pair to a brand new high quality female tracksuit in a blue that I knew with a glance in the mirror matched my new eyes. It had silver trim that appeared to match my hair as well. I was beginning to detect a certain color scheme here. They were just baggy enough to run or work out in, but tight enough to show I had curves. Though honestly I think a burlap sack would show I had curve.

Good thing I was hallucinating.

Underwear would undoubtedly be nice, but the look Hoshiko gave me as he left to resume pawing through my stuff spoke of no further help there. Technically the law couldn't arrest me for going commando, but if I actually had to jog... well I wasn't looking forward to that. Hoshiko spoke up just loudly enough to be heard over the sounds outside.

“Please bring the wrap. It may prove useful later.”

I didn't see any wrap... no Taco Bell wrappers in my bathroom, though I could go for one. Unless he meant the dress thing. Yeah that probably fit, and could be useful, considering it and my new tracksuit were all I had to wear at the moment.

I came back into the living room to find my lone box had been filled, mostly with random crap I was surprised I still owned. That wasn't to say they weren't useful items, like my old Swiss army pocket knife, or my small collection of mismatched cook wear. Which if I were being honest with myself, were mainly just small dented pots to cook ramen in. My old high school jacket, which looked to be over-sized now. It wasn't a letterman's jacket of course, I'd never been a jock; it was from the chess club.
I guess I could use it when it got cold, just like last winter.

“We should leave soon. Can you recall any other belongings you will need?”

I looked around. The small place had obviously been ransacked, but for all that a mere five minutes or so would see it tidy again; it was that spartan. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed my toiletries, and threw them in the box. It was still barely full itself.

“That's everything we could absolutely need. Failing anything else, we can camp out in a park or something.”

“That will not be necessary; you have a domicile set aside for your use, we simply need to travel there. Unfortunately it is on the other side of this city.”

Hoshiko jumped in the box; and on his back... was that my backpack, full of my stuff and sized to fit him somehow? Sure looked like it. According to the cheap wall clock, it was now 8:50.

“Pick the box up please, and let's go.”

“Want a free ride, do you? After all the crap you've pulled on me so far?”

Hoshiko knew the dreaded puppy dog attack, all without being a dog.

“Please be reasonable. You are larger than I, and can cover more ground more quickly. We have many miles to go, and I will tire easily. Also, you admitted appearances are important; if I walk beside you, I am a wild animal. If I am in your arms, I am your companion.”

Reason; almost as effective as the dreaded puppy dog attack. A single tear formed in one of his overly large eyes. I picked up the box.

“Alright, alright, I get it.”

The waterworks shut off before they began, and he almost made me spill the thing in his haste to settle himself face forward. For my part, it was time to dust off my sneaking skills. I walked out the front door and into the too-bright sunshine, and took a left towards the doughnut shop I normally frequented for breakfast.

I'd always sucked at sneaking. Ever since my first try at hide and seek. Luckily enough no one was outside, and the drivers weren't even paying attention to pedestrians. That changed quickly, to the accompaniment of screeching tires and shouting. I looked, curious. Why had that driver stopped?

The driver, a young man in a cheap suit, had his eyes glued directly to me; even when the pedestrian he almost killed by overshooting the crosswalk started yelling at him, his gaze shifted then seemed to snap back to me as if I were magnetized and his eyes steel.

I knew something was up when the pedestrian, a man old enough to be my grandfather, followed the driver's gaze to me and stopped mid rant, mouth open. I quickened the pace. Had they seen Hoshiko? No, he was scrunched down in the box, staring back at me with his unsettling gaze as if to say 'I told you so'.

What had they seen? A guy in a girl's tracksuit? No, that lady in the power-suit walking past didn't spare me more than a passing disapproval tinged glance, and if I were cross-dressing in a tracksuit I'd at least rate a little more staring. That young mother pushing the stroller while walking her dog? Didn't even spare me a glance.

But that older man, running to fat and opening the store with a jolly expression? He stopped dead, leg raised to enter his small shop and did a very credible fish impression. My heart sank to my stomach and my stomach filled my shoes as the light bulb went off in my head. This couldn't be... it was impossible, after all! Every instance of screeching tires, every flat stare, was like an indictment. And Hoshiko, that bunny bastard, kept staring at me through the walk the entire time with what could only be a smug look plastered on his furry face.

Whatever. I guess I could be hallucinating reactions too? Though that seemed stretching it. I certainly wouldn't be able to consciously imagine such reactions. After all, I thought stopping traffic was something that women didn't actually do, no matter how hot they were. I now quite possibly stood corrected. I felt uneasy about approaching people in the street, but luckily breakfast would provide me with a great opportunity to put the matter to rest, without seeming out of place. Or more out of place.

The doughnut shop was ten minutes from my crappy apartment and the bus stop in front of it. Since my college days I had made the pilgrimage there at least once a week for bad for my health breakfasts and gourmet coffee. It was usually a safe walk. Today there were three more near accidents in the ten minutes it took me to reach the door, and in each one the common factor seemed to be men with their eyes wandering. I held the box up, covering what seemed to draw eyes with a type of gravity resembling Jupiters.

The doughnut shop was a chain, one of the better ones that had revamped their business model after all but going bankrupt in one of the recessions, though I'd be darned if I could remember which one; if it wasn't before my time, it was before I was eighteen and paying attention. This particular example of the species had hot fresh doughnuts and other fattening breakfast treats made fresh daily. They also sold coffee, tea, and hot chocolate; the last of which I found odd as a breakfast choice. But apparently it sold well, so who was I to argue?

I hated the coffee and the tea, but they sold these mango mixed fizzy drinks that made my taste buds sing; I could never get enough of them. While I seemed to need caffeine like everyone else when trying to wake up or study, I preferred mine in pill form. Well pill or citrus-y cola.

But today, as expensive as it was, I could really use one of those mango drinks... spiked with rum or something. Too early for that though; I had to wait at least an hour.

The guy behind the counter was Rob, the same guy that had sat behind the same counter when I started college, and he would likely be here long after I was gone, despite his claims of being a student himself, and around my age. It was a few minutes before the great breakfast rush, and he had one elbow on the immaculate counter, chine resting in his hand; looking for all the world as if he might burst into bored tears at any moment.

He glanced over as the door chime, then perked up so fast I could have sworn he left an afterimage for a second. His gaze gravitated much as the other men this morning had; right to my chest. He looked up at my face for little more than a second before heading back down. I all but had my answer, but I wasn't about to give up yet.

“I'd like two glazed and a melon punch, please.”

He was moving before I finished the sentence, sliding a small bag of two prepackaged glazed doughnuts across the counter at me, then almost fumbling them in his haste to grab a cold can of mango melon punch from the cooler under it.

“Never seen you here before; new student?”

...Shit. Nothing I could read in his glance showed that he was seeing a guy in ratty sweats, because he of all people would recognize me. Or at least should; he saw more of me than my former professors had. Nothing to say he was seeing a guy in girl clothes, either. Not so much as a hint of surprise over the picture he was seeing, or at least none that I could detect. Which meant that either my hallucinations were affecting how I saw other people reacting around me (something that could happen, I thought) or I really was a girl in girl clothes, setting a box on his counter with a grateful sigh.

Holding the box in front of my new assets for minutes at a time got kind of tiring, no matter what shape my body was in.

“No, just passing through and wanted something bad for me.”

My smile felt fake, but he bought it.

“Shame. Starting college? That'll be 3 dollars and 87 cents, please.”

And then I realized the flaw in my plan; my wallet, with all my means of paying, was in the box... at the very bottom. There was no line to hold up, but that didn't make me feel any less an idiot. I'd even put the phone back in there. Some random mugger could completely ruin my day.

Before I could reach in to fish for the method of payment, Hoshiko offered it to me, crinkled nose twitching and eyes wide. He had my debit card held gently in his teeth.

“Wow, that's one smart rabbit you got there.”

The debit card looked vaguely like mine; it was a visa like mine, but issued from a different bank. I grasped it and Hoshiko let go easily enough; it was even free of slobber. The name on the card was Isolde Geru.

“Yes, he is. He has all sorts of tricks, though his ears are a bit unusual for a rabbit.”

Rob looked again while running my new card. One I suspected did not exist sixty seconds ago.

“Oh really? How so?”

Damn. Double damn. Rob was looking and clearly not seeing anything unusual with the bunny before him. Problem is, I could clearly see the overly large and clearly non-standard cat-bunny ears Hoshiko possessed. If I was delusional and seeing hallucinations, I simply wouldn't see anything wrong with Rob knowing about cabbits.

But Rob was seeing a bunny, and I was seeing a cabbit when he looked at Hoshiko. Our expectations weren't matching. When he looked at me, Rob was seeing a beautiful if slightly unusual girl in girl clothes. All the cues I was getting from him told me so. My mirror and his expectations matched. Hoshiko was staring back at me with a knowing gaze and a slight grin. I thought quickly.

“His ears are a bit large for the type of rabbit he is.”

He looked again, his face stating clearly that he was not seeing it but willing to take my word for it.

The only reason for one to match and the other not to, was if our perceptions were not being influenced by my mental state. Rob further drove home the dichotomy as he handed my new card back with a receipt.

“Like your hair. Looks very punk-ish but... elegant. That length has got to be a real bear to deal with though.”

“It is. I'm considering cutting it all off.”

The door to the backroom opened, interrupting us, and in stepped Cindy.

Cindy Lipman had been a secret crush of mine for years, and the real reason I had come here for breakfast as often as I could. She was tall, blonde, leggy, and fit with an angelic face. A former alum at the college, she was 27 and unmarried, with no kids. Her major had been acting, and she spent time as the lead in a small theater at the edge of town, waiting for her big break.

Not that I was stalking her or anything.

No matter how hard I had tried, I could never get her to notice me, in three years of coming here every week. It had done wonders for my self esteem. But she noticed me now, and in a hurry. She stopped, eyes wide for a second, but they closed into slits and she purred.

“Hello. Good morning, and welcome to the Creme Crepe. Haven't seen you here before; new in town? Going to the college?”

I was struck with an incredible sense of deja vu as she sauntered over, licking her lips and giving me a look that was more predatory than Rob's had been. What the hell? Where was the cold tightly controlled fish I'd come to know and love all these years? There was more heat in her gaze now than Mount St. Helen's. Something was seriously wrong here; I found my tongue by glancing at Hoshiko, who was clearly having a field day, despite the lack of expression on his furry face.

“Um, no. First time here, and I'm a bit too young for college yet. Just stopping in on my way to move.”

“Oh. Anywhere close? Cute bunny. And how old? I'd have guessed you to be about 18?”

I wilted a bit under the onslaught of personal questions. This was more than I'd heard her speak to me in a year. I was game though.

“Across town, 16, and I'm often told I look older than I am.”

Now why had I said that? My real age was 21; even if there was no way I looked 21 (I'd have pegged me at around 18 too) why had I said 16? Hell, I'd forgotten what it was like to be 16, other than the vague sense of everything at all being awkward at that age. Rob added his own 2 cents, his own demeanor cooling a bit.

“That rabbit is smart, but apparently the ears are weird.”

Her attention turned to Hoshiko briefly, and she dismissed him with a smile as he looked at her, debit card back in his mouth. She didn't see his true ears either.

If anything, when her gaze snapped back to me, there was even more heat in it. I stuffed the bag and prepared to make good my escape when the voice of the crotchety manager sounded from the kitchen.

“Cindy! Get back in here, we still need three racks done before the morning rush!”

She rolled her eyes then sent another smoky look my way.

“Well, got to get back to work. Morning rush soon and all that. Still, if you can, stop on by later. I'll be happy to show you all the sights.”

And she sauntered back into the kitchen, putting some extra wiggle into her walk. Rob and I both watched her go, Rob with some lethargic appreciation. I was just shocked.

“Dude. Rob... what the hell was that?”

Rob looked at me as if to say 'you're kidding, right?' Hoshiko shot the exact same look, somehow; if only Rob had been looking at him. He looked to make sure the coast was clear and then crooked a finger, and I got closer.

“Miss, you couldn't tell? Cindy is a lesbian. And not all that particular about things like age differences. Best if you watch yourself around her.”

I felt sick. I had been pining over a lesbian all these years? I'd stood no chance at all! And now, now I did, and it was statutory! Not that the idea of having someone, anyone, fondle my new parts (or worse) was appealing to me at the moment. But it was the final straw that broke my theory.

After all, I would never have dreamed she was a lesbian; I would never have dropped that bomb on myself; delusions were self serving to an extent, after all. My mind would have had her staying her typical ice queen self, distant and unattainable and oh so very desirable, instead of that creepy thaw she pulled.

I definitely wouldn't have pegged her as what she was. Whatever she was. That was a matter for a legal team, after she touched an underage girl. That girl wouldn't be me, however, in any case.

“Right, got to go. Have a nice day, Rob.”

If he responded, I didn't hear it. I walked out in a daze, no longer paying attention to anything.

I had a restless night, waking up often; seems that much as I used to like sleeping on my stomach, there was no way in hell that was possible now. I couldn't even rely on my own dreams or the mindless bliss of unconsciousness to distract me from the level of suck that my life had become, or the knowledge that it was all my fault. I really wanted to blame the stupid talking rat-rabbit thing, and some of the fault most definitely was his, but it would be a cop-out to lay the entire blame at his feet.

I wouldn't be letting him off the hook, however, especially since he was jumping right on my chest to wake me up from a sound sleep that I'd had to fight to get into.

I bucked him off and threw a pillow at his head, missing.

“What do you want, you mutant rodent?”

“It's time to train.”

I'd spent several hours walking to this new location yesterday, which was a huge waste of time; if Hoshiko had told me how far away it actually was, I'd have called a cab. The new place to live had turned out to be an old Buddhist temple outside of town and off a highway, set back in a wooded mountain which did not fit in this area at all. I mean, there weren't been any Chinese here ever, let alone monks. No railroad had been through here, so who built the temple?

While I was still trying to wrap my mind around that little bit of insanity, Hoshiko took me behind the temple, to the traditional Japanese manor house, all screens, wood, and paper doors.

O.K., no way had I lived here this long, and missed this. It looked like Asian culture threw up it's past, right outside of college town U.S.A. How was this here, and not a tourist attraction?

In all the time, I was here I'd never even heard about this being here, and I could have swore this mountain wasn't here yesterday. I had to ask.

“Hoshiko, did you magic up an entire temple and house?”

He had twitched his nose before replying.

“Of course not, that would be ridiculous.”

I smelled the bull-crap; it was particularly pungent.

“Right, whatever. So how did this place come to be, exactly?”

“It was built, of course.”

I wanted to throw the insufferable bastard; with a herculean effort I had resisted. I did however place him gently on the ground; he could walk on his own the rest of the way. That and he was in kicking range, at least until he wised up. I didn't normally consider actions that would make PETA mad at me, but I don't think PETA ever had to deal with smug talking animals before.

The rest of the day was spent cleaning the temple; it had plenty of rooms in the back and had to be better insulated than the house out back. At the very least, it was better sound insulated. A quick check had revealed a modern sink with running water in the modern kitchen, electricity and lights, a few modern bathrooms and a public shower. Modern was relative I supposed; the wiring was all large cables and old fixtures that reminded me of old world war 2 films, while the refrigerator, washer, and dryer all seemed to be recent vintage. I could fit myself into all three if I wanted, they were that big. It all worked.

Of course I had taken the largest room for myself; the head monks room, or whatever. Not only was it the largest, but it had it's own bathroom and shower, as well as large windows. It also had the thickest walls. Evidently the vow of poverty was not equal, or something.

Then, because I was an idiot, and I couldn't really stand all the flaked plaster coming from the walls and carpet of dust on the floors, I pulled out my meager cleaning supplies and got to work; starting with my chosen room and working out. The place was huge, and I'd run out of my own stuff after an hour.

When I'd come back to my room and Hoshiko to ask him to magic up some cleaning supplies, I'd found him on my phone. He had his ear pressed to it, and was nodding. How had he even dialed?

“Yes, that's right. The address is number one ridge road. Yes, thank you; see you shortly.”

He turned to me while curling onto my backpack.

“Please, continue cleaning.”

How far could I punt him, I wondered. But no, if I aimed for the window, I'd break it, and I'd just cleaned it an hour ago.

“Why are you using my phone, exactly?”

“I was forced to; the old telephone lines to this monastery were cut by a natural disaster decades ago, and never replaced.”

I stomped over.

“Why. Were. You. Using. My phone?”

“In order to order the furniture and groceries you would need in order to live here in comfort. One of us had to, and you were occupied. Now the deliveries are on their way. So why have you stopped cleaning? If your efforts slow much more, the facility will not be properly prepared.”

I had to work hard for patience. Calm. The opposite of murder. I was fairly sure he hadn't meant to imply I was a glorified maid.

“Properly prepared for what, Hoshiko?”

He had looked at me as if I were insane.

“Why, the arrival of all your sisters of course. Others like you, pledged to fight the coming evil. You are among the first, but are not among the last. And this facility has plenty of room. You will of course, benefit from the example and socialization of your peers, as they will benefit from your own example.”

O.K. I didn't think I was the only one, wasn't even sure I was among the first, though that was good to hear confirmed, but living with a bunch of magical girls, as one myself? I mean, even rooming with normal girls would be dicey; what if they figured out I wasn't a real girl somehow, or something?

“I'm out of cleaning supplies. Literally everything.”

Hoshiko paused and placed a paw to his face in a thinking gesture.

“Ah. Well, in that case I believe the closet next to the shower, the one I found the broom and dustpan in, has some bleach and other cleansers.”

It did, which was a good thing, because I wasn't walking back to town in order to buy a bunch of cleaning crap I didn't really have money for; I had a sneaking suspicion that it'd be better if I didn't spend anything until I saw just what Hoshiko had ordered.

So yesterday was a dazed frenzy of activity and bleach, broken only by directing the hired movers to drop their various loads in the proper places, and finally capped by me doing something really dumb, and polishing the extra large bronze statue of Buddha in the main hall. I still wasn't done cleaning, but it was livable now. The mold and dust were all banished back to their respective places, and the air was clean.

The place showed some signs of it's age, but showed no sign at all of disrepair; it was weird. It was as if while dirt had had free reign over the place, decay had never been allowed it's normal hold.

I rolled out of bed, introspection over. I had questions of course, I already felt I'd always have questions from here on out, but with Hoshiko finally wanting to actually train me in the use of the one really cool part of this entire deal, it was best to strike while the iron was hot. But not too hot.

“Time for breakfast you mean, then training.”

Hoshiko huffed and conceded as his little stomach growled loud enough for both of us to hear.

The kitchen had been fully stocked thanks to a grocery store that delivered, and I handed Hoshiko a carrot while I dragged out some fruit loops. I still found it a bit odd that Hoshiko knew what my favorite foods were, cereal included, (downright creepy actually; just how long had he been watching me?) but such concerns were far down the list at the moment.

Hoshiko stared at the carrot, then at me, and I knew he wanted to protest, but a second later he just shrugged and started nibbling. He no doubt had expected me to cook some crazy large continental breakfast thing; I was all too happy to disappoint him there.

As soon as I was done, before I could even put the bowl in the sink, Hoshiko was tugging on my leg.

“Come on, we have to train now, you must be ready.”

“Alright, alright, I'm coming.”

Little mutant had quite the grip.

He led me outside and into the yard behind the monastery; it was overgrown of course, but teeming with life. Mostly colorful flowers and sweet smelling plants; I'm sure I'd be in at least minor awe if I knew anything at all about plants, but the only ones I recognized were the rosebushes. Well those and the dandelions.

For all the plant life, nothing snagged my clothes or tried to hitch a ride as I walked the overgrown path behind my pushy companion. He led me to a clearing filled with tall grass and little else and stopped; evidently we were going to engage in some exotic gardening. Hoshiko turned to me and I gave him my full attention.

“Alright, first lesson. To properly utilize your power, you must think cold.”

His nose twitched as he fell silent. My nose twitched as I waited. Hoshiko shifted then looked up at me expectantly. What the hell? This was my in depth instruction?

“Think cold? That's it? That's all I get?”

I wasn't thinking cold thoughts at the moment. Cold blooded, perhaps, but not cold specifically. Hoshiko must have read my mind, because he was backpedaling quickly and looking around for an exit. I wasn't about to point out that it' be hard to track him through the grass if he vanished into it.

“Please, just try it Isolde. Calm down, take a deep breath, and think of cold.”

I tried. Closing my eyes, I pictured glaciers; giant fields of ice swept with bitter winds. Gently falling snow and terrifying sleet. The crisp tingle of snow on the tongue and the pin and needle numbness of frostbite. And just that easily a mental switch threw itself within me.

I memorized where that switch was and how it felt to be on as I opened my eyes to see snow falling despite the summer heat. A quick look down revealed that yes, Hoshiko was looking very smug. A thought and I could feel the moisture suck itself from the air and form the icicle I had desired. It floated there in mid-air, tugged left and then right by my mind. I had complete control over it.

I sent it zipping around while thinking. Telekinesis of ice? That was the only way I could explain what was going on; I could feel the frozen water around me, and control where it went. And for that matter, sure there was plenty of moisture in a given stretch of air, but pulling it all together in just a little icicle should actually affect the local humidity. Taking deep breaths revealed no noticeable change in air quality that way. So how far could I push it?

Hoshiko watched silently while I summoned another dozen icicles. With a thought I hardened them and sent them arrowing into the ground in a smiley face pattern. They didn't shatter, and the air still didn't feel any different; so where was all the water actually coming from? I was sure some of it was from the air because I could feel it as it froze, but all of it couldn't be.

How far could I take it?

Hoshiko's gaze was unsettling as I willed even more ice into existence, ending up with a veritable forest of sunlight refracting shards. I knew how many I had made... one hundred and twenty. Counting the dozen I still had control of, the total was one hundred and thirty-two. And yet I only felt the barest hint of strain. Taking a breath with the ice all around me revealed that the air was slightly less humid, taking on that crisp quality it often does during cold winter days. My breath was also frosting in front of me.

I made the ice wizz around, amusing myself by cutting the grass with it for awhile. Wouldn't do to have Hoshiko have more potential escape routes, after all. After a minute of that I got bored of it and let the ice dissipate. The air did not become more humid as the moisture bled off into the air, though the temperature rebounded immediately; I stopped being able to see my breath. Another thought stopped the snow as I looked to Hoshiko, who was still silent. I couldn't resist a little verbal needle.

“Well?”

“You took to your power surprisingly quickly; well done. You also took to the simple attack aspects of your power surprisingly quickly as well. Perhaps some training in defense is in order?”

Another thought, and shields of ice started forming, varying in size and thickness. The larger ones took longer of course, though the speed with which I could form any of them rivaled a gunfighter on the draw in those old westerns; a full body shield so thick I couldn't see through it at all took just under a second, and the rest were faster.

But I wasn't limited to that.

Another thought and blinding snow and hail poured down, obscuring all vision completely. I couldn't even hear anything over the howling wind and crashing ice; so that worked as a form of protection easily. I cut that off and refocused, and the ice slid across the ground with the same speed of my shields forming and coated things at my direction; I was tempted to coat Hoshiko, but knowing my luck it'd actually hurt him.

Another thought. I bent and picked up some leftover hail. It felt like normal ice, but wasn't melting in my hand. Walking across the spread ice was easy for me too; I didn't slip at all, unless I wanted to. Then I could slide all over as if I were skating, and stop at will. There was certainly a telekinetic aspect to all this.

Another thought, and I made it as cold as I could by surrounding myself with a box made of layers of ice. Not five minutes later Hoshiko was shivering, but I was not. I could feel the cold, but it didn't seem to affect me. I melted all the ice I'd made with a thought, and the humidity returned to normal once again.

A shame really, I liked that crisp air feeling.

So I could make structures out of ice, quickly and easily, as well as just shields. That and cold didn't seem to affect me at all; at the very least, I didn't feel it. I suppose the cold could still hurt me from exposure, even if I didn't feel it.

“Hoshi.”

He didn't say anything about the nickname; he was still shivering a bit.

“Yes, Isolde?”

Right, why would I feel bad about giving this talking rat a nickname? He had changed mine without asking.

“I don't seem to feel the cold as I used to, or as you do; is that intentional?”

“Of course it is Isolde; you would be much less effective at your tasks should your own power cause you such problems as others experience. As such, while you can still feel and be aware of colder temperatures, you can no longer suffer tissue damage from such, though attacks based in cold such as your own might still affect you in other ways.”

Such as blunt force trauma, I'd assume.

“Are there others with my powers?”

He scrunched his nose but didn't hesitate.

“Not at present, but it is a future possibility.”

Good to know.

“Is there anything else you can think of for me to train? Anything else you'd like to see me try?”

Hoshi adopted his thinker pose.

“Not at present. Your imagination currently exceeds my expectation.”

Was that... a compliment? Weird, I think it was.

“Alright. Then I guess we finish cleaning. You going to help today?”

Hoshi crinkled his nose again, then nodded.

“Of course. I shall help you mop.”

He took the lead, while I surveyed the destruction I had wrought. It wasn't that bad; all I'd managed to mess up was the grass, and by messing up the grass I meant cutting it in a haphazard fashion. Well, without a lawn mower, it was probably the best I could do.

I suppressed the desire to coat my surroundings in ice again, just for the beauty of it. I wonder if the power messed with my mind somehow? I mean I'd always liked winter before, but wanting to coat random surroundings in ice seemed a bit much. I shoved those thoughts down deep.

Instead I went back to the stellar and not mind numbing at all work of mopping. There was still so much of this old monastery to dust and mop, and I doubted I'd ever be able to get the pigeons and doves out of it entirely. Any other skittering ground critter was getting war to the knife; a pigeon would be stopped by a door, and wouldn't crawl into bed with me in any case.

The mop that I made of ice and kept renewing out of water mixed with bleach made the process easier at least; it was slightly harder to freeze the bleach in the water, and I could manage it. It also kept me from having to wring out the old mop I'd found yesterday. Once everything was frozen, it was easy to just melt the 'mop head' a little at a time to clean the floor. The implications of being able to freeze liquids other than water were staggering... and frightening.

For more... solid things on the floor, a coat of ice that stretched and contracted, then rolled along ahead of me removed all particulate matter. While I mopped I checked the new beds and desks and other furniture the movers had brought directly into the old monk cells. They weren't much, being far less nice than what Hoshi had ended up ordering for me, but were still sturdy and serviceable. We had outfitted a full twenty cells that way in addition to my own squatted room. I didn't like those implications.

He had even ordered replacements, which were being stored in what could only have been one of those old airy medical wings made famous in the fifties. I had not liked the implications of that either; though I could see why. My powers were easily destructive, and not everyone out there had my self control.

Well, I hadn't murdered Hoshi yet, so I was going to go with my control being better than average, at least. If any of the other recruits to this insanity wanted to treat their own animal companion and helper in ways PETA wouldn't approve of, well, as long as they didn't bring the place down around all our heads I might overlook it.

For all I know, I might have gotten the only annoying one.

A trip to the kitchen for lunch found the little lazy bum already there, nibbling on his carrots. I washed my hands and made a sandwich. Both the fridge and pantry were fully stocked, but if there were many more people showing up here, the food likely wouldn't last long.

“Hoshi, do you know how many people we are looking at showing up here? And when?”

I refused to call them magical girls, at least out loud. He shook his head, sending his ears swinging.

“I do not. I expect that many may eventually find us, though there may be as many as several hundred or even a few thousand involved before the matter is decided. As for when the first may find us, again I do not know, though I suspect we have at most a week to prepare for the first.”

Really, that many involved? This sort of thing would be hard to keep secret.

“Have you made your decision on the other property yet?”

“Huh?”

“The house behind this monastery. Have you decided when you will clean and prepare it?”

Wow, he was on crack or something.

“Yeah, I was thinking never. That place is more trouble than it's worth; the monastery is big enough to clean and maintain, and that house is going to be cold when winter hits.”

That kind of place built here was just stupid; there was no way it could be a proper house, being made of paper and flimsy wood like it was. Hoshi just stared at me. I found myself sighing.

“Look, if we need the room it's there. If we don't than it's a waste of time to mess with it.”

“I suppose that is acceptable.”

There was a knock at the door. I stared at Hoshi... and he stared back. I went to answer it with a sigh; and he followed, wonder of wonders.

“What else did you order?”

I couldn't think of anything, we had already dealt with all the movers setting up furniture in the main hall while ogling me as much as possible. We had everything we needed already, didn't we?

“I believe our window to the outside world is all that is left.”

What did that mean?

Another 3 knocks sounded before I managed to make it to the door; the monastery was a big place. Fortunately I had countered that with a painstakingly hand written sign advising any callers that I could be awhile answering the door, so the caller was still present.

Turned out Hoshi meant the cable guy. Well technically in this case, the satellite dish guy since the monastery was too far outside of town to have old fashioned cable. He was young, and taller than I was, and a bit rugged looking, like an outdoors-man or a park ranger or something. He looked me up and down while matching my frosty smile with his own genuine one.

“Hello miss. Got an order here to install television and internet to the property for a miss Geru?”

I could see Hoshi's miniscule nod from the corner of my eye, so I gave the guy a nod of my own.

“I'm miss Geru. Come in, please.”

He looked around as we entered and whistled.

“Large place. Hopefully you don't need the entire place wired?”

I snorted. I didn't really need any of it, though television might be nice to watch again.

“Of course not. I'll show you.”

He ended up hooking up a grand total of twenty rooms and the common room for wired television access, as well as making a sort of miniature WiFi hotspot. I had only wanted to have two rooms hooked up, but with more people due to show, I didn't want to keep calling this guy back. All done in the basement of course, which I had yet to touch and had very few working lights. It took him most of the day in that dark pit, something I didn't begrudge him in the slightest. He didn't seem to mind, packing up with a wave and a ready grin just as the sun began to set, cobwebs festooning him like a movie archeologist. I couldn't suppress the sigh as he left; it was hard to try and act normal now.

We actually managed to finish cleaning all the more useful and used areas of the monastery by the time night fell. The ironic thing was the lights were the last thing I tackled, making ramps of ice that I could climb with ease in order to replace the old bulbs in fixtures inset in the high ceilings; at least those we had replacements for. Old bulbs were old bulbs, after all. I was very careful not to touch the wiring.

Work done for the day, I locked the doors, shut and locked the windows, (oddly enough while the locks were hard to turn, they did work well) and shut off the lights everywhere but my chosen chambers. Once there I contemplated my old barely high definition television before sighing and curling around a good book in my new bed. It was more comfortable than my old one, but I wasn't about to tell Hoshi that.

I opened my eyes slowly in the gloom. I could hear the birds singing cheerily outside, as well as assorted other small movements my mind was quick to classify as the movement of small animals. My room was dark, even in the sun.

Hoshiko was staring right into my eyes.

With a yell (most definitely not a scream) I leaped backward, knocking the furry little bastard from the perch he'd found, mere inches from my face. I put a hand to my chest to contain my heart, then realized sourly it was in no danger of leaving my chest; there was simply too much chest to go through.

“Don't DO that!”

“Do what?” The little vermin asked, wriggling his nose as he righted himself.

“Get up in my face like that, sneaking around; don't act like you don't know how rude that is.” I shot to my feet, only overbalancing a little and righting myself quickly, and grabbing some clothes.

“...Is it because of the potential for attack?”

Halfway to the shower I stopped and turned. “Of course it is! Or at least, that's how it started. You mean you really don't know?”

Sneaking around someone who was sleeping made them wonder what else you were doing, and watching them sleep from inches away was all but a threat. Not to mention surprising people who were sleeping like that could make them lash out. Was it not like that in Japan? Hoshiko seemed pretty oblivious.

Hoshiko held his paws out and shook his head, then hung it. “I apologize. I was not aware such actions would make you uncomfortable. I was merely watching you sleep.”

That's what I was afraid of, thanks. “Why? Don't you sleep?”

“I do,” Hoshiko replied. “but I do not need as much sleep as a human. I was simply trying to ascertain your sleeping needs.”

Hadn't he ever met a human before? “What did you do before you were a magical... err... critter? Humans generally require eight hours of sleep for best results and wakefulness. I think I'm a bit under that, for the moment.”

“I worked in procurement before this job. I am aware of the general sleep patterns of humans, I was trying to determine if yours were different.”

Procurement? “Procurement of what?”

Hoshiko wrinkled his nose. “Procurement of candidates for magical animals.”

Huh; interesting. I slammed the shower door in his face, then yelled through the door. “They are. Give me fifteen minutes.”

I showered quickly; my new hair took most of the time allotment. Dressed in new jeans and a loose shirt, I rejoined the little rat-thing to get some breakfast. Hoshiko hopped along dutifully as I headed to the kitchen.

On a whim, I asked: “You want anything special for breakfast?”

“Pancakes?” Was his hopeful response.

I could live with that, we had the mix and we had strawberries. “Sure, I can do that.”

I grabbed the stuff needed and got started. Hoshiko watched me work.

“Now pay attention, I expect you to do this for me sometime.” It was half a joke, and half not.

“Have you ever wondered how the first person among your kind ever created the recipe for pancakes?”

Well, that was surprising. “Yes, I have before. I've even wondered how the first person to cook came up with the idea. But with no way to go back in time, there is no way to know, so it's just a useless question. Idle curiosity that can't be sated.”

Hoshiko cocked his head. “Do you often wonder such things?”

I shrugged, stirring batter. “I think everyone does, eventually. At least once. Some do it as kids, some wait until later, and some don't care, but I think questions like that cross everyone's mind eventually. Why? Is that not true for magical animals?”

Hoshiko looked away, staring at the strawberries. I was ready for him, but he didn't make his move. “It is; we wonder many such things - but we have no reference for them. We are young, with no shared history to draw experience from.”

Yeah, I could see how that would suck, and I told him so. “Sucks to be you.”

“I would argue having a shared experience to draw from is only superior if the data is accurate.”

Why that insufferable little... “Are you trying to say human knowledge of physics, biology, and the like is inaccurate?”

“Purely scientific subjects are not inaccurate, merely incomplete. However, your history is replete with illogical and highly suspect modes of thinking and historical inaccuracies passed as truths. These color all other interactions with your reality, some in... less than positive ways.”

Okay, that made sense, and I couldn't call him out as wrong on it, but his wording choice was bad.

“You're pretty condescending at times, you know that?”

His response was to slather strawberries on the first pancake and eat it in silence; at least he knew better than to try and lie about it.

I filled out the skillet, and Hoshi looked at the amount of batter left. “You will need more than that.”

I looked again. There was enough for three pancakes left in the bowl, and 3 currently cooking. I certainly didn't intend to eat more than four. “Plan on being a pig?”

Hoshi cocked his head, considering the reference almost as if he didn't understand it (maybe he didn't) before replying simply: “Yes.”

Not much I could do to argue with that. With a shrug, I made another batch, in another bowl, because mixing an old and new batch just wouldn't work. It was fine, Hoshi knew how to do dishes, and since he was making me cook, dish duty was his job. Even if I had to persuade him – with lots of ice.

“You're doing the dishes.”

Hoshi cocked his head again. “Agreed... so long as you either practice using your new abilities or exercise your new body while I am occupied. I would recommend a stress on 'cardio', as you humans call it. Something like running or jogging.

Yeah, fat chance I could do much of either with these water balloons on my chest. “You think I'll need to run a lot? Are the monsters I'm supposed to fight that dangerous?”

Hoshi scratched his nose a paw, smearing strawberry juice on it. “Unknown. They can be very dangerous, but their powers vary and I cannot be certain. But more endurance can only help you, in a variety of situations.”

I flipped a napkin at him. When he looked at it curiously, I tapped my nose. He got the idea, cleaning his own off by smearing the juice into his fur further; whoops, I should probably have wet it first. He looked back to me with a pink nose; served him right.

I tried to hide my smirk when I gave him the thumbs up. I don't think he was fooled, but he didn't call me on it.

I took my four, slathered them in strawberries, and filled myself in between cooking the rest, watching as Hoshi methodically chewed through his own.

“Hope you've been paying attention; you may need to do this yourself one day.”

“Why?” was Hoshi's puzzled response.

“If I'm not around, or wounded or something? I'm not going to be able to cook for you.”

Hoshi shrugged. “That is what fruit and pastries are for.”

Oh really? I finished up on both counts. “You like donuts?”

Hoshi scrunched his nose and sneezed, with his red colored paws well away from his fur. “I do.”

I grinned. “You're going to be a little blimp if you eat like that all the time.”

“Your concern is both touching, and noted.” He made shooing motions. “Now please, go to work. Try to remain out exercising until I finish cleaning the dishes, if you would.”

Exercise I did. Out of curiosity, I tried the running thing, and even with a sports bra I was courting a concussion. Okay, not really, but there was enough rolling around to make me believe I could court concussion, and having that happen for long hurt.

I made it three laps around the property before I collapsed, gasping. Not too terrible really, for me. A quick glance in the kitchen window showed Hoshi wasn't even half done with the dishes, so after a short rest, it was on to another lap. Ten minutes later and more gasping, and Hoshi had just washed and was carefully stacking his third dish.

The little bastard was doing it on purpose.

I did 20 sit ups and 20 push ups, muscles straining. This was suspiciously easy. In fact, this body was toned well enough, but despite appearances it had very little stamina. It was suspicious. Another check revealed Hoshi on the fourth dish. I embraced my power and made an igloo, the better to wait out his stonewalling....

Nah, to hell with it. I marched back inside, controlled myself very carefully as I picked him up and put him aside back on the counter, knocked the stool he'd been on out of the way, and finished the dishes.

“You absolutely suck at washing dishes.”

Hoshi grabbed a towel and dried his hands. “I was being careful... and thorough.”

“You were being slow, and anal.” I countered, not amused. “That wasn't our deal.”

Hoshi's huge ears perked up suddenly, and he scanned them around. “It's time.”

Alright, I'd bite. “Time for what?”

“Your first magical girl sortie! I am detecting a demon in the city. You must do your duty and find and defeat it.”

Wait. Wait wait wait. “Demon? Didn't you say they were aliens?” I distinctly remember Hoshiko telling me aliens were attacking.

Hoshiko scratched his nose, pausing before meeting my eyes. “Demons are aliens, Isolde. But if you are wondering, we call them the Diflys.”

“Why? Does that mean something?”

Hoshiko jumped up. “No, we call them that because we can. They have never attempted to communicate with us... only kill species they consider inferior. Now come on, we must go.”

He started to push me. I humored him, starting out the door. “Go how? How am I supposed to find this alien demon?”

Hoshiko bounded ahead. “I can detect it from great range, but not precisely. When we get close enough you will be able to detect it yourself, and hopefully with greater precision. We've no data to confirm this, however, as you are the first magical girl we've created among your kind.”

Go me.

“Any idea how I'm supposed to get into the city quickly? It took all day to walk out here last time.” I was supposedly 16, so I could still drive, but I didn't have a car.

“That should not be a problem,” Hoshiko stated. “I will take you; I am your magical girl mascot, after all. Please follow me.”

And he turned around and hopped off toward the courtyard. With a shrug I followed; at worst I was a few minutes behind an epic marathon sprint I'd undoubtedly drop dead on.

No sooner had I reached the courtyard – again – then I was enveloped in a crystal blue light. A circle of weird geometric designs opened up under me, and I fell into blackness.

I had time to feel both cold and hot, and wonder if my eyes had somehow fallen out of my head before I felt wind streaming under me. I landed on a sidewalk and rolled my ankle. I also had to fight my gorge down; you need extra pancakes, Hoshi had said.

“Damn it!” I rubbed the offending leg as Hoshi turned and shushed me.

“A magical girl does not curse. Now please be as quiet as possible, we are close.” I thought, very seriously, about yakking on him, but let it go.

We were in a park. A nice, pleasant park, with sculpted trees and freshly mown grass, and flower lined walks. It was well cared for... which was insane; it did not scream 'big city'. Big city was all about decay and disinterest, not... whatever this was. It was almost disgustingly cheerful. There were no birds, though, or squirrels, or any small furry animal. No people either.

Hoshi also had a point; this close I could feel it too, as if something oily was impinging on my brain or senses; a foul corruption that raised my hackles and had me clenching my fists and reaching for my power.

A dark shadow eclipsed the bright sun, even though there were no clouds in the sky. I looked up but there was nothing – just a gray sun for a moment, and then everything was back to it's normal self.

There. Whatever it was, it was to the right of me. I got up and started walking, working the kink out of my ankle. Hoshi was gone, I just caught a glimpse of his furry butt as it vanished behind a tree away from the demon-alien or whatever it was, the little fink.

My steps frosted the grass as I headed towards my destiny; I hoped it wouldn't die, that would be awkward to explain. There was probably a 'stay off the grass' sign somewhere, and couldn't footprints be used to ID people? Screams caused me to pick up the pace, and soon I was darting among the trees and small bits of tinkling ice.

I came upon a nice clearing before a duck pond; the water was calm and a brilliant blue, but the ducks were absent and the park benches were empty. They were empty because the people that normally filled them to feed the ducks were running for their lives.

It was tall, perhaps seven feet, and inky black. It was shaped like a man, if a man were made of a black hole; it looked like a mobile, man-shaped hole stretching and contorting jerkily to move.

For all it's cartoony appearance, it was leaving great gouges in the earth as it lunged forward, and two people were down and bleeding already.

I made with the ice, cutting it off from the latest target of choice (an old woman that looked to be homeless, still carrying a ratty paper sack filled with bread). It slammed into the wall, so it had substance.

The wall cracked where it impacted, so it had both mass and momentum.

What should I do? I could completely encase it... but then I wouldn't be able to see it. No, it was best I attack it directly, but from a distance.

The ice spikes came from the direction of the pond, slamming through the thing and pinning it to my wall. That didn't seem to inconvenience it very much – it just turned it's now very sharp fingers and hands onto the wall, shredding it with terrifying ease.

I doubled down, trapping the limbs, but that didn't stop it either; it simply shrank them and sucked them back into itself, even as I kept the pressure on. It turned to look at me and then I was on the ground with my head pillowed on a tree.

Right. So it had some sort of distance attack too; staying still was a bad idea.

Luckily I hadn't lost consciousness; the thing was rapidly pulling or moving itself free. Something was wrong in how it moved and it was hard to tell. I summoned ice in front of me as I pulled myself up, a large block between us, and was rewarded with seeing it shatter in a line to me.

I dodged, throwing myself out of the way as whatever the attack was nailed the tree; hardened air?

Another block, this time anvil sized, conjured above its head. I let it go and it squashed the thing a good foot into the ground. Spikes of ice as it started to flow around the block served to keep it from escaping.

It's movement grew more frenzied, more desperate as the seconds passed. I was required to keep stabbing it down. I sincerely hoped it didn't feel pain. It was silent through the entire process.

Finally, it stopped trying to move, and there was an audible pop; much like a bubble blown out of chewing gum finally collapsing. That was when I knew.

“Quickly, make an igloo around it, and hold onto it.” Hoshiko said from beside me.

I didn't have time to chew him out; I was already doing it, as the pull from what could only be a very small black hole tested it's new bonds immediately. It had already snagged some matter from the ground, and any more might cause it to go critical mass on us all. I doubted the Earth was in immediate danger from it, but the city certainly was.

The sun dimmed again, and area around my ice started to blacken.

That was how it was using force; it had simply been letting the energy escape from itself in a specific direction. It had actually been a mobile, contained black hole. Luckily enough, my control of ice could defy physics; I grit my teeth and held on, refusing to let any more air or dirt come in contact, keeping as many layers of ice as I could between the hole and everything else. The pressure exerted was enormous, and I wasn't sure if the spots in my eyes were from the hole or my head injury or the stress.

A minute or an eternity later, the pressure eased, so quickly my ice almost flew away; stopping it was a near thing. The hole, something that had never been very big in the first place, had burned itself out for lack of fuel.

I collapsed back into the grass with a groan. Hoshiko sat himself against my shoulder. “Well done, Isolde.”

“Why didn't you tell me these things were black holes? That was dangerous!”

“Because they aren't.” he replied. “They... differ. The next one might be more dangerous, or it might be less. Either way, it will be different. But you did very well, and in so doing completely justified my choice.”

Jerk of an animal. “Well, goodie for you.”

“I think we should leave. Based on my study of your culture, your planet's authorities will be en-route to deal with the threat posed by someone attacking the park. It would be best if they not find us here.”

“Couldn't agree more, but I really don't think I can move a step.”

The circle appeared under me, and I sank into it with a yelp.