A little departure for me. I hope you like it!

“Get out of bed, boy! That yard ain’t gonna mow itself! Move it!”

I sat straight up in bed, wanting to yell out. My dad, ex Gunnery Sergeant Patrick “Mac” McCoy was really good at jarring me from sleep. He lived to do it to his Marine recruits, and nothing was different at home.

“Okay, Dad. I’m up. I’m up.” It was 6:30 AM. Who mowed the lawn at 6:30 in the freakin’AM?

I heard him laughing as he went down the hall. The prick. I rolled out of bed and froze. I had forgotten I was wearing my baby doll pajamas. I couldn’t sleep if I wasn’t wearing them. They were blue with matching panties, and I loved how they made me feel.

I guess I should explain myself. My name is Kerry McCoy. I am 18 and transsexual. I am not a cross dresser. I get no sexual thrill out of dressing ‘en femme’. I am counting the days until I can kiss this place goodbye and get on with my life. My dad and I don’t see eye to eye, to say the least. I am an average sized girl (well, I refuse to call myself a boy) five feet nine inches and one hundred thirty pounds. I think I’m fat, but that’s a whole other issue.

Well, you might have guessed that daddy and I don’t get along, and you’d be right. Mom died of cancer last year. She knew my secret to a certain extent, but not the entirety. I had been on hormones since I was 14. Puberty was late, and thanks to a certain doctor, it would never come. I’ll get to that later.

Psychiatrists call what I have “Gender Dysphoria”, like its some kind of sickness, like “allergic rhinitis”. I don’t see it that way. I’m not sick. I just have the wrong body wrapped around my soul. My tent is blue, my soul pink. I don’t need to analyze it. It just is. I have called myself a girl since I was little. The folks thought it was cute at first, but when I was still doing it at eight, well, daddy got a little nervous.

My first spanking for cross dressing came when I was nine. I had gotten in to some of mom’s old stuff, and was dressed in a cute little summer frock and an old gardening hat with some clumsily applied makeup. Had the tent matched the soul, it would have been a Kodak moment. As it was, it got me whacked ten times on the butt from daddy dearest. Mom did nothing, bless her soul.

Ok, enough daydreaming. Time to get up. “That yard ain’t gonna mow itself!”

Daddy was long gone by the time I got out of the bathroom. Off to some secret war thing or whatever. I wish he could see me now. Four years of hormones have been very kind to me. 34B-24-35. My hated boy part is atrophied, and spends the day neatly tucked away, waiting for the day when I can afford to send it to wherever penises go when they get modified. I have long blonde hair, down to my shoulder blades. I keep it styled androgynously, so daddy doesn’t suspect. I can still work it into a nice up do on those rare occasions when I can go party with the girls. They know who I am. My real name is Katrina. I like it because it makes people think of the hurricane, and I don’t want to be forgotten.

I don’t know, maybe daddy does see the changes and is in denial. When I go out as a boy, I always get confused with a lesbian or a tomboy. The girls used to call me “Aly” because I look like Aly Michalka, the ex Disney princess. The similarity stops there. I’ve had more sex with more perverts than that girl will ever see. More on that later.

I bind the twins down and throw on some shorts and a Judas Priest concert tee. God, my legs look cute. Still a little too fat yet, but I’ll work on that. I have a nice tan working. I always lie out in a bikini, and have for over a year now. Daddy wouldn’t like that. I keep my bikini top on when tanning so I’ll have nice tan lines. Tee hee! I’m such a bitch.

I suppose you wonder how I was able to get such a killer bod when hormones are sooo illegal and dangerous. Easy. Check this out.

So, skip forward a few years, and mom thinks it will be a good idea for me to see a therapist. I was thirteen, and I see this “Doctor” who gives me the creeps. He’s too, I don’t know slimy. He asks a lot of questions about the way I feel about things and the like. I don’t hold anything back. I tell him everything. So, this guy, he’s paid by the government, and he doesn’t get paid much. And he earns every dime. He tells me that he will tell my parents about my ‘perversion’ if I don’t perform a little quid pro quo. So I have to blow this guy, in his office. All the way, including swallowing. I thought it was disgusting, but I didn’t feel like a boy must feel. He raped me, and although I may not have had a vagina, I was devastated as any girl would be.

But I’m not anyone’s fool. I take my new cell phone and sneak it in to the office for my weekly visit. After recording his violation, I managed to turn the tables. My silence for a hormone program. On the down low. On his dime. He made it happen and quick too. I guess he didn’t want to blow Bubba in jail. Phase one of the plan in the books, quite by accident.

It was a typical San Diego day. Beautiful, and boring. I finished the yard, and decided to go to the beach. Yay! I went into the bathroom, showered and shaved (my legs, silly), and got ready to hit the beach. I texted Marisa, my BFF, and I got into my car (a fairly new Civic) and we drove to the beach.

Marisa is cute, and I’m a knockout. We got more stares and whistles than I could count. Boys were playing Frisbee and football right in front of us to get our attention. I thought it was cute. So did Marisa. She had a little Venus number on, and I had a Body Glove bikini. I’d love to have a tiny little bottom on, but, sigh, there’s that little problem.

So, back to my little hormone thing. With Doctor Creepy taken care of, I started on HRT. I was sterile within a couple of months, and the boobie fairy visited after six months. Things were coming along nicely. I became quite the actress. I was able to hide the changes, and I stopped dressing and acting out. I was becoming the “boy” they had wanted. I was NORMAL! Woo Hoo! I was bitter, all right, but my plan was coming together. I researched SRS, and I found it was terribly expensive. I could do it here in the states, or travel to Thailand. Either way, I was fucked, and not in a good way. How was I going to come up with a way? Then it came to me. Maybe I could earn some money. If Doctor Creepy was willing to risk his career for a chance at getting some underage nookie, then maybe I could earn some money the old fashioned way. I hated my parents for how they made me live. Who cared if it was dangerous? I’d rather die than live a lie, so what the hell.

I did some more research and started hitting some chat rooms where I started scoring some action with the pervs. Sometimes they came over when the units were out, sometimes I met them. They were pretty harmless, for the most part. I got a hundred fifty for a blowjob, and when I trained myself a little, Five hundred for the whole nine yards. I looked so innocent, and the Disney girl thing didn’t hurt. I was pulling down over fifteen hundred a week. Ok, I was a whore. But I never saw myself as a victim. I was using those poor bastards to get what I wanted.

Sure, I worried about disease, and I turned a few down on general principles, condom or no condom.

Oh! Let me tell you about this one! I made ten thousand one weekend when I was fifteen, almost 16. A famous actor (I’ll never tell) found out about me. He had a thing for t girls, and especially young ones. Young ones like me are rare, and when he had the chance at the genuine article, he jumped.

That scene was crazy. I made sure I was covered with Marisa, so if anything happened, I was covered. This guy was seriously demented. I was bound every way a girl can be bound, fucked every way a girl like me can be fucked, and made to be his sex slave the entire weekend. His wife joined in and abused me. I was gagged the entire weekend, and began to despair that I had finally screwed the pooch. Them, at Ten o’clock Sunday night, the untied me, let me take a shower, and gave me ten thousand dollars cash right there on the spot. They said they liked the way I cried. That wasn’t acting.

I ended up doing that couple four more times. They got a little rougher each time. Bondage isn’t really my thing as a lifestyle. I mean it can be fun, but the way they did it was really scary. I spent more than a few hours with a plug up my rear end giving my “mistress” a screwing with my face attached to a rubber penis. I didn’t think my body could bend in so many ways. They dressed me in rubber and all kinds of fetish stuff. I went along with it, but the tears I cried were real every time. I was humiliated, but I ended up taking over one hundred thousand dollars from them. Tax free. I quit when they started inflicting a lot of pain. I couldn’t take that. They would have killed me if I had stayed.

Marisa and I went to get something to eat at Mcd’s. I know it’s not good for me, but it’s just so good. Hey we work it off. We’re young!

We cruised around until four PM. Then I dropped her off. I had to get back home and get changed. I was so sick of doing that. I had a cute cover-up on over my denim cutoffs. My bikini top was all that I had on top. It was getting harder and harder to keep up this charade. I was so done being a boy, even make believe.

I was a whore, a prostitute. I knew it, and I was somewhat ashamed about it. But I had plans, and if my daddy had shown me anything, it was to work for what you want. Maybe it wasn’t the right or best way, but it was my way. I had two hundred and fifty thousand in the bank, and two rental properties paying me six thou a month. What was I waiting for? What every girl is waiting for. Daddy’s approval. I would never get it. I had my passport. I had purchased tickets for two weeks from today. I couldn’t leave without saying good bye, and give him a chance to, I don’t know, wish me luck.

Hell. Tonight was the night. I wasn’t going to change. Driving up to the house. I saw daddy was home. I stopped the car, took a deep breath, and walked in the house.

“Hey, what in the hell are you doing? Who are you?”

“I turned to face him. It’s me, daddy.”

The color drained from his face. “Kerry?”

“Katrina, daddy. My name is Katrina. It has been for some time.”

“B-but you don’t look anything like my boy. You have, uh….”

“Boobs? Yes I do, and I have had them for three and a half years now. I was just really good at hiding. The face, well, that was a gift from mother. Makeup does a lot too.”

He collapsed in a chair. “What did I do wrong?”

I looked at him, feeling a bit sorry for him. “Nothing, daddy. No, I take that back. The only thing you did wrong was make me go underground to do what I needed to do.”

Tears ran down his cheeks. To see the old man, the hard Marine cry, caused me to tear up too. “I’m leaving tomorrow for Thailand, daddy. I’m getting the reassignment surgery.”

“But…how?”

“I did a lot of things I’m not proud of, daddy. I became a prostitute to earn enough money to do this. I was very good at it, and managed to keep my grades up at the same time. I did what I had to do to earn this. I did it on my own. I start at State this fall. If you still want to see me, my phone number won’t change. I’m done with the lifestyle, but I’m getting the surgery. I’ll be back in six weeks. Think about whether you want to have a daughter. If you don’t, I’ll understand. If you do, I’ll be happy to be your daughter. I spite of everything, I still love you.”

I went to my room, and grabbed the three bags I had pre packed. I was going over to Marisa’s to spend the night. My rescheduled flight left at 10:00 AM.

Daddy never said a word as I left.

I’m halfway across the Pacific now. Ready to start my new life. I am not as bitter as I was yesterday. Maybe this Katrina won’t be as bad.

Some have requested that Katrina's story continue. If you want to see this through, let me know!

The email addresses are made up!

To: [email protected]
From: Kat432578@ gmail.com
Re: 3 days and Counting!

Hey, Marisa! I don’t have anything to do on this booooring flight, so I thought I would write a letter to you. I’ll email it when I get settled in after I land.

Wow, I sooo can’t believe I’m actually doing this. I mean, when you see me again, I’ll finally be rid of my “defect” ;). I’m totally excited and totally scared at the same time. I haven’t got anybody but myself to look after me once this is done, and I don’t know exactly how I’ll manage. But I’ve been there before, as you well know.

I guess on a more serious note, I want to thank you so much for being there for me. I know you didn’t approve of how I made my money, but you never judged me, and you were always there to let me cry on your shoulder when one of my “clients” got a little rough. I was such a handful, but you must understand that nothing was going to keep me from doing what I am about to do.

I *hate* what I am now. I can’t expect you to fully understand what I feel, because you were born whole. I am so happy for you for that. I have a giant hole in my heart that nothing will ever truly fill. I may have some of the equipment after this is all over, but for some reason, there will always be something missing. Oh, maybe I’m just a drama queen. I was able to turn a terrible event into the blessing that enabled me to miss dreadful boy puberty. I would have killed myself if I had to go through that.

Oh! Remember when I first told you I was turning tricks to pay for what I knew was coming? You said I was too pretty and nice to have to do that. Too pretty. You’ll never know what that meant to me. I knew what I was, but you wouldn’t let me believe it. You believed in me. I’ll love you forever for that. No, not in the “I want to screw your brains out” way, either. You’re cute, but I like boys.

After all the abuse I’ve taken over the years from boys and “men”, you wouldn’t think I would have any use for them at all. But I just can’t help but think there is that one special guy out there that will forgive me for what I’ve done and love me anyway.

I know what you’re thinking, Marisa. “Forgive” me? Well, I know I have a lot of emotional baggage, and it would be difficult to deal with if I were on the other end, so yeah. I can’t help but think I’ll be like a 14 year old girl stuck in puberty for the rest of my life, always wondering if I’m good enough or smart enough or sexy enough for the man of my dreams. Now I’m crying. I need to stop for a little bit.

Ok, I’m back. We are getting closer now, flying over China, I think. Please be there for me when this is done, okay? I’m really scared. What if something goes wrong? Will anybody miss me if I die? I know it sounds crazy, but I had a nightmare about being kidnapped after it’s done and never getting back home. I might call you at crazy hours, but you’re the only friend I have. Daddy will never come.

I filled out a will before I left, just in case. I left everything to you. If you don’t want it, there’s a plan for that too. Please take it. There’s enough for you to go to college on or whatever. Okay?
Ohh, what am I worried about. It’s not going to be that bad. The doctor put me in touch with a really cute tgirl who will help me through the worst part of my recovery. I talked to her via Skype and she seemed really nice. Her name is Phi, and she does this to help out new girls. I think I’ll need some help! 

I wish you could have come with me. I’ll miss you, and our late night talks. Well, I keep forgetting. We can still Skype! Yay!

There is a real creeper staring at me from across the plane. He has come back to go to the restroom like three times in the last hour. Nobody has to go that bad. Here he comes again…

He got the nerve to talk to me. I was polite and told him I was spoken for. As if he actually had a chance! I am such a bitch! I guess I should be thankful anyone takes a second look at me, but the thought of having that greaseball in bed…ewwwwww! Even I have my standards.

Check on daddy would you. Maybe you could come up with an excuse to go over, maybe to pick up something I forgot. I don’t know why I care, but do it for me ok?

I am reading again about the surgery. OMG, it is scary looking. The end result is nice, but I am going to look like hamburger for awhile . Think nice thoughts for me.

I’ll be going through major surgery, and you know what bothers me the most? Going in a bedpan. YUCK! The catheter will be bad enough, but the other? I hope I don’t have to.

I do so hope that all of the crap I had to put up with will be worth it. To be able to make love to a man, not just have them fuck me like an inflatable doll, using every hole I have but the one I want more than anything. That would be nice. There are a lot of girls who don’t want to get the surgery, and they seem happy. I wonder why the thought of that makes me sad. It would be a lot simpler, and I’d have spent about Thirty five thousand dollars less. I just wouldn’t feel whole, you know? (No pun intended)

Hey, if this is too stupid, or you’re bored, you don’t have to read it, Marisa. I’ll understand.

Ooohhh! A super cute guy looked at me and smiled! I smiled back. Maybe he’ll come back. I wonder if I should wave to him or wink or something. I really want to talk to him. What if he wants to go out? I mean, I do have three days until the big day. Eeeek! He’s coming back. Wish me luck! :)

OMG, Marisa. His name is Trent and he’s a grad student from USC! Dark brown hair, and BLUE EYES! We talked for about five minutes. He wants to meet after we land!

Oh, shit. What if he wants to do anything? I would so do him, but how? Does that make me a slut? Right. The whore is worrying if she’s a slut.
I am such a dope. What could he see in me? I guess I have a pretty face, but he needs a real woman, not a fake like me. Dammit. I hate myself. I wish I could ask you. You would know what to do.

“Talk to him” you would say. Like about what? “Oh Trent? I’m a she male from San Diego who has spent the last four years as a high class tranny whore to the rich and famous! What do you do?”

I need to stop now.

It’s been 30 minutes and I have spent it crying like a little girl over some guy I’ll never see again. I’ve been in worse situations than this and never batted an eye. I thought I was tough. I hate this. As if rearranging the furniture between my legs is going to change who I am.

What is the point? I’m going to do this no matter what. I have to. Why? Because I have done nothing for the past four years but take it from men and women. The worst perverts you can imagine. I’ve been spit on, come on, tied up, tied down, made to be nothing but a plaything, something less than human. This is my time. And if I can’t make this work. Then I won’t be back.

I’ll Skype you tonight, Mar.

XOXO

Katrina

To: [email protected]
From: Kat432578@ gmail.com
Re: here we go.

Well, Marisa, everything is good to go for my big day tomorrow morning. I have to be at the clinic at seven in the morning. You wanted details, and I’ll give you as many as I can.

The exam was fairly uncomplicated, although I was very uncomfortable with the doctor touching me. I hate that thing, and I won’t miss it. He explained the procedure, and offered to do a boob job at the same time. I said thanks but no thanks. I like my girls just the way they are. A nice, cute B. I’m not turning into some cow so some guys can make rude comments. I just wish that men had to wear clothes that emphasized their little dicks so we could make fun of their shortcomings! 

Doctor Whatshisname (I can’t pronounce it) said I had enough tissue to make a nice vagina (YAY!), and he didn’t anticipate any problems. I was glad to hear that. I just want this to be over, Marisa. I will have to stay in the hospital for a week, then I will be moved into a recovery facility to finish. He was talking about what I need to do after the surgery and what to expect. Believe it or not, I managed to pay attention the whole time!

I did a little sightseeing after my doctor visit. I didn’t dress up, and wore a baseball cap and sunglasses (NO makeup!). No one noticed me, and that was cool. Trent texted me and asked if we could get together tonight. I said I wasn’t feeling well. (it’s true, I’m not. Nerves, I guess). He is going into the country, close to the Myanmar border. I told him not to forget about me, but I was going to be unable to make any dates for the next few weeks. He said that was okay becase he wouldn’t be back in Bangkok until two months from now. Well, it was nice knowing him, anyway. I won’t forget our date for the rest of my life. He actually treated me like a lady! I know I’m not, but to be treated like one…*Sigh*.

After going back to the hotel, Phi took me to a cool club where all of the entertainers are girls like me. I met a lot of them backstage and although they didn’t speak much English, Phi told them who I was and what I was going to do. The girls were all excited for me. and I got a lot of hugs from them. Some of them were doing what I was doing to earn money for their surgery, but their prospects are a lot dimmer than mine. They make next to nothing, and some of them are badly abused. After I left there, I had a really good cry. I guess I shouldn’t feel too sorry for myself

I posted all the pictures from my trip on my Facebook account, so you can check them out, let me know what you think! I must be the only Facebook account with only three friends. Not many friends, but really high quality ones!  What are you up to now, like four hundred?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I made my bed, and I can lie in it. I didn’t choose who I was, and if people can’t accept me for who I am, then they can kiss my behind! (I need to start talking like a lady, easy on the crude language. I mean like, fuck, that sounds like hell) *GIGGLE*

I still don’t know what to think about Trent. He likes me, I know he does. But I think he likes the illusion and not the person. I’d like to see his reaction if he saw the freak in the mirror I see every morning.

When will this be over? Marisa, I ache every day. It’s a pain that I can’t get rid of, no matter how many pretty things I wear or how much money I make from the perverts I date. I need to stop now.

Okay, I’m back. I left Trent enough hints to come back and see me when all this is over. I’m planning to spend a little more time here than I originally thought. My visa is for 6 months, and I’m going to stay every hour I can. I have arranged for a little place in Phuket, you know, the place that got hit by the tsunami? Who knows, I might be able to turn a few tricks here and earn some more money! Nope, can’t do that, I’m not a freak anymore. Nothing between my legs but new pussy. I’m just a regular girl. I can’t even do that fucked up stuff anymore. Maybe I can advertise! Hot blonde needs sex for money! Gives wicked cool blowjobs! Hurry hurry!

God I hate this life. Maybe, just maybe I will pull out of this funk. I am so depressed I can’t stand it. I should be on top of the world, but I’m not. Please, PLEASE tell me this will all be worth it!

I have to stick this out. I was reading that the dilation can be painful at first. It’s scary. I am so glad that you are a real girl so you don’t have to do this. I know what you would say. I am a real girl. Maybe. Or maybe I’m just the world’s biggest phony. Whatever.

Just got off the phone with Trent. He said he was on his way to wherever he was going, and he wanted to let me know he was thinking about me. What is up with this guy? It was nice of him, though.

The next few days are going to be rough, so I don’t think I’ll be able to send you anything. If you don’t hear from over here, then everything is okay, so don’t worry!

.XOXO

Katrina

To: [email protected]
From: Kat432578@ gmail.com
Re: Where are you?

Ugh. I feel terrible, Marisa. The deed is done, and there is no going back. I feel like I’ve been kicked between the legs by a giraffe. Thank God for pain medication. I cannot imagine what I would feel like if I wasn’t jacked up right now.

Every one has been so nice to me here since I woke up. I was in the op room for 8 hours. Dr. Thingamajig (I really need to learn how to say his name) said everything went better than expected. Wow. I’d hate to see what I would have felt like if things had gone badly.

I am bored, but don’t feel like getting up. I have a catheter stuck up in me, and that is a pain in the well, whatever you want to call it. I still call it my wee wee. (Ha haaa! That is so stupid!) I’m still loopy, so please don’t show that to anyone, ok?

I attached a photo from the dim past. Remember that day? We were fifteen and I had just gotten the first of those God awful guitar earrings you hated so much. I can’t believe I could pass as a boy at that age. I must have looked like the gayest fifteen year old boy on earth. Maybe I didn’t pass. You know, I just thought about it. My name was Kerry, and I looked like that. Well, no makeup. I’ll bet a lot of people thought I was an awkward girl. Ha! That’s why I never got picked on! Getting excused from phys ed because of “Asthma”, courtesy of Doctor Pervert, kept me out of the locker room. Oh wow.

I wish you could be here, Marisa. I am soooo lonely. This is just the worst time for me. All I have to do is sit here, watch Netflix movies and think of what waits for me on the other side of this little adventure. I wish I could say that I feel better about myself, but right now I don’t. I just feel like a big fat phony. Maybe I should have had my boobs done. Maybe it would have taken attention away from my puss. God, I hate that word already. What do I call it? Esther! LOL! Where did that come from?

I suppose I’ll have plenty of time to think about it. I just had an idea. Wouldn’t it be great if before we were born, God asked us what we wanted to be? That would be so cool. I could have had a normal childhood, and my biggest worry would have been what college to go to, not what pervert will give me the most money. I so HATEEEEE what I did! Is that all I am now? Just a whore of a different kind?

You know what I want, Mar? I swear to God this is it. I want a man to love me for who I am, not to wonder about my past, and I want to love him back, and take care of him. I want to be a housewife, Marisa. An honest to goodness Mrs. Cleaver. I want to be a mommy, someone who will take care of her kids and take them to soccer practice, or cheerleading, or whatever they want to do, and not judge them, but help them be who they want to be. And I pray that they aren’t like me. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Do you think I could ever find that with anyone? Like Trent? Someone else? I went to some websites that specialize in people with transgender issues. They had all of these successful people who made the change. They are doctors and lawyers and all kinds of professional people. You know what I didn’t see? Mommies. Am I crazy? Those women are great and I’m glad they are happy, but I don’t want to be an icon. I want to be a mommy. And it’s the one thing I’ll never have. I know I can’t have children, but I could adopt, couldn’t I? But then they check my past and zap, I’m out.

I had to take a break, girl. Maybe my hormones are different or something. I start crying for no reason. I wonder what sex will be like after I’m all healed. I have read so much about taking care of the new plumbing, that I think I could do it in my sleep. But to actually experience it? You know, I never said this to you before, but I always hated getting it in the rear. It hurt, and I always felt violated after it was done. I had to thank the bastards who did it to me (customer service, you know:P) and tell them how good it was, then I’d bleed for the next day. I needed pads to stop my “periods” from ruining my underwear. I hope they all rot in hell. But hell, I got my wish, didn’t I. I am the uber successful whore about town, you know, the one whose family hates her?

Yeah. Granny and Gramps weren’t too impressed with the sissy grandson. Who knows what they think now? And the cousins? I can see them now! What a riot. At least I have my friends. All three of them. And my little black book. I hate me.

I know, you’ll probably write me back and tell me I’m too hard on myself. Speaking of that, why haven’t you written me back yet? I keep writing you like you asked, and you haven’t sent anything back? What’s up with that?

I think I’ll check the local news so I’ll have something to talk to you about.

MARISA! You have to write me back! I just saw that a Marisa Gomez, 18, of San Diego was killed in a drive by shooting yesterday. It can’t be you. It can’t. Please, God, Marisa. Write me back. This isn’t funny! If it is you, I know your parents won’t call me. They always hated me. I’ll check Facebook. Please be safe.

I love you,

Katrina

To: [email protected]
From: Kat432578@ gmail.com
Re: Where are you, girl!

Marisa. Where ARE you! I rechecked the news, looking for anything. The newspaper printed a correction, saying it was a Marisol Gomez that was killed, NOT Marisa Gomez. They apologized for the mistake. Fuck them. I had to be sedated. Please please please please Skype me!!!! Are you mad at me?? I’m sorry for whatever I did. I would never ever do anything to hurt you or make you mad. I don’t have enough friends to do that.

I tore a couple of stitches when I threw my little fit, so they had to work on me a little, but I’m ok now. I tried to pull the catheter out, but fortunately a nurse was close by and was able to stop me from doing something stupid. I spent way too much dough on my new girl to screw everything up like that.

I’m just going to assume you are having some kind of trouble with your computer until I know different, so I’ll just keep writing if that’s ok. I feel a lot better since I know you weren’t killed. If you don’t believe me, try having the only friend you’ve ever known die. If you are screwing with me, stop it! If you are reading this and not talking to me, you are a true bitch. I’m sorry, you’re not.

I just feel like I’m running on the edge of a cliff at full speed, and one misstep will cause me to fall to the bottom of the pit. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but I just feel like I’m constantly on the edge. My stomach is bothering me now, and the doctor prescribed me some medicine to make it feel better. The food here is okay I guess if you like crap!  Not really.

I just got an email from daddy. He said don’t bother coming back. I don’t know why it bothers me it’s not like it’s a surprise. Maybe someday he will love me. I wonder if mom misses me. I guess I have no one to blame but myself. Could I just be selfish? Would I want me as a daughter?

I have cried more tears since my happy day than all of the days previous. I have got to get better and get out of this clinic. I haven’t been able to exercise, and I can feel myself getting fat. I need to stop eating so much. If I get fat, then who will want me? People will say, “She’d be pretty if she wasn’t so fat” I’m feeling better physically every day. I have started dilating now. It hurts, girl. The doctor says I’ll get used to it, but spending hours a day with that thing shoved up inside me is agony. I’m glad I had the laser treatments down there to get rid of the hair. I don’t need another thing to take care of in that area.

Girl, you would have such a big laugh at my situation now. Flat on my back (well propped up now), and I look like I have a diaper on. It’s a long way from the cute lace bikinis I like !! I look sooo stupid.

I finally couldn’t stand it anymore, and started putting on some makeup. Maybe that will help my mood. My hair looks like total crap, and it’s not going to get any better. When I get a little more mobile, I’ll hire someone to come and do my hair. You can only stand having your hair in a ponytail so long.

Doctor Who says I need to get up and walk for a little bit. I’ll try, but there is no way I’m going to make it very far, the way my poor little girl feels. I think I’ll call the nurse as soon as I’m done here to try it. The quicker I get up the quicker I can get the heck out of here.

Would you do me a favor and pick up what little stuff I have left at daddy’s house? I have a few pictures of some of the vacations we took when I was a little girl (boy?). My life wasn’t a total train wreck then, and daddy wasn’t such a jerk.

Can you tell me how someone could treat their own child like this? I can’t do it now. I feel like I’m an orphan now. I get sooo angry thinking about it. I’m only 18! I’m just a little girl inside and I still feel like I need someone to take care of me. Can you understand that? You’d think that after all I’ve been through, I’d be the most jaded person on earth.

I guess in some ways I am. I can read men like a book. I know what they are thinking before they do. I know more ways to please a man than most real girls, but I’m afraid to go into a tattoo parlor. I still blush when a guy I like looks at me. I melt watching some silly chick flick. Ha! Some world wise person I am. I am so lame sometimes. It just looks like I’m going to have to learn it on my own.

Please find a way to write back, Marisa. I need you right now. I hate to sound needy, but please?

XOXO

Katrina

To: [email protected]
From: Kat432578@ gmail.com
Re: hi again

Marisa! A computer virus? You couldn’t contact me because of a stupid computer virus? And you couldn’t call? I could kill you and kiss you at the same time. I was going out of my mind here.

What’s this crap about not having enough money to buy a new computer? I’ll transfer enough money to your account to get you whatever computer or laptop or both. I can’t believe you didn’t at least try to call. Marisa, I HAVE MONEY! If I can’t share it with you, then it’s no good at all. Get the best antivirus software you can get, silly.

In the couple of days it’s been. I’ve gotten a lot better. I can get up to walk a little bit. The stupid catheter is still in, but Doc says I will get it out if the swelling goes down enough. So I’m taking my medicine they are giving. A counselor here thinks I should be on anti depressants based on what has happened. I’m glad I chose this place. They just don’t cut you and release you. They actually seem to care.

I guess I’ll take her advice, although I don’t really want to get on medicine I may have to take for the rest of my life. Estrogen is enough. We’ll see if it helps. I can use all the help I can get.

You aren’t going to believe this, but Trent called me again. From up by Myanmar. I asked him how he could call from out in the jungle, and he said he was on a cell phone. They must be celebrating something up there, because I heard a bunch of fireworks going off. At least that’s what he said they were. They must have been really good, because from all of the shouting in the background, people were enjoying it.

He said things were going well up there, and he was coming back in 6 weeks. He wants to see me, Marisa! I don’t know why, but I’m looking forward to it. I may not be ready for you know what, but we can at least have a good time while he is here.

How goes the passport application? I told you to get it earlier. I really could use your help when I get out of here, just as a friend. Phi will do all the heavy lifting. Let me know when you get it, and I’ll have you on the next flight out here. A couple of more weeks like this and I should be ready to be released. That will be so cool. The dilation is still a royal bitch, but even that is getting better.

I feel so much better since you emailed. Get that computer with a webcam so I can see your face and hear your voice again. You make it seem like I’m not going nuts.

Thanks for going over to daddy’s to get my things. Did he ask about me? I was thinking back to when I was about 5 or so. He could make me laugh like no one else. He was my first crush. I remember thinking how big he was, and how good he looked in his uniform. Like the Nutcracker, you know the ballet?

I read somewhere that most little girls have a crush on their father first. I guess that’s when I first knew I was different, although I didn’t know it at the time. He was just my daddy. I was kind of jealous of mom, although I couldn’t understand why.

It’s too bad I couldn’t have stayed that way. Life would have been a whole lot simpler. I have had a lot of opportunity to think while I’ve been down. It was a mistake to live the way I did. I should have at least done some counseling.

Why do I know I’m a girl? Why did I want to be a girl? I just never thought any different. I never identified with boys. I loved the pretty things girls have. Dolls, playing dress up. I guess boys feel the same way about being boys. That’s good, because they make the world a lot more fun .

I loved the relationships. We’ve been friends for years, Marisa, and I can honestly say I would die for you. I don’t want anything from you but you. It seems the boys I’ve known are more interested in taking than giving. I’m not saying they are all like that, but I’ll bet it’s more than half.

I’m so looking forward to hitting the beach in Phuket. I hope we don’t get another wave, I’m not sure I could outrun it now. I’m looking forward to my first good run. It will feel a lot different than with the other equipment, I’m sure.

I hope you are having more luck with your boy problems. Jason was a nice guy, but I think he was a little too interested in one part of your body, if you know what I mean. You have plenty of time for that stuff. I know, I’m the last person to lecture anyone, but I know what it does to you on the inside. Don’t give yourself to just anyone, girl. You are way too special for that.

I haven’t heard anything from Gabi and Heather since I’ve been here. Have they forgotten about me? I sent them some messages on Facebook, but they haven’t gotten back to me yet. I’m sure they will.

I watched the movie “Don Juan DeMarco” this afternoon. Johnny Depp was sooo cool in this. He was misunderstood from the start. What’s wrong with being Don Juan? When He wore the little mask, my heart skipped a beat. He is totally HOT! I know he’s older than daddy, but wow! I guess I could relate a little bit to his character. I’ve been Miss Understood for years! 

I suppose I’d better go for now. I’ve got some therapy to do. That’s code for my unpleasant duty of opening myself up. I’ll Skype you later. The time difference is killing me.

XOXO

Katrina

To: [email protected]
From: Kat432578@ gmail.com
Re: Getting better!

Two weeks, Marisa! I’m feeling a lot better physically. I have almost no pain now, except when I move around too fast. I can go to the bathroom on my own now (yay!), and therapy is going a lot better. I still have a long way to go, but I think I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I caught one of the orderlies checking me out today. He was kind of a troll, but still, it’s nice to know I can still turn heads, even with no makeup. Tee hee! I’ll be leaving here next week, according to Doctor Whoever. I’ll never get his name. He told me to call him John. I can live with that.

He gave me a compliment today during my exam. He called me one of his greatest successes. Evidently, everything is looking pretty good down south. I should be bikini ready by the time you come over to visit. I have one for you and one for me, and you *are* wearing it, I don’t care how naked you feel!

You asked in your last message if Trent had called lately. I haven’t heard from him since the night of the fireworks. The problem is, I don’t think they were fireworks. The news said there had been an incident on the border. No details, except that a few people were killed in a village on the Myanmar side. I wonder if he was anywhere close to that. A guy like him shouldn’t be roaming around where he could get shot.

I’m a little concerned, but I made a vow to focus on getting better. I had to get used to getting up in the stirrups, but with my background, that wasn’t that big of a deal. Everything is proceeding nicely, and John said that I had no crystallization, which he said was skin that wouldn’t heal. He also said in about 6 weeks I would be pretty much healed, but to take it very easy with sex. Don’t worry about that, Doc! The thought of a man pounding away on me scares me to death right now.

I am seeing a therapist here twice a week. She was shocked when I told her my story, and amazed that I was still in one piece. I certainly don’t feel like that. I feel like I’m a cracked mirror, just waiting to shatter. I have a lot of issues right now, and she said fear of sex is one of those issues. I just hope it doesn’t last. I want to get over that, and have normal sex with a normal man. It will be nice for a change. Ha! Most girls are looking to spice up their sex lives. I’m looking to spice it down!

Just between us, I did something I shouldn’t have. I touched my new clitoris. Marisa, it felt good! I can’t believe that after all of the torture that poor thing went through, it can feel anything. The Doctor said a risk of the surgery would be nerve damage. I’m very thankful that it doesn’t seem to be the case with me.:)

I’m totally sorry if I’m coming across a some sort of self centered bitch. I don’t mean to. I just need to talk to someone. I promise I’ll get over it soon. Especially when you get here! Woohoo! I have your first class ticket already bought. When you get your passport, get on that plane the next day! We’ll have sooo much fun! I know you like to have a drink or two, and we will be good to go at the clubs. I still won’t touch the stuff, but I’ll have fun watching you make a complete ass of yourself!

Oh! Would you do something else for me? Make sure mom gets some flowers for her grave, ok? Tell her I’ll be there to visit as soon as I get back. Well, just think it, okay?
I’d like to think she is happy for me. Anyway, please do that, and I’ll be so grateful!

I’m going to try riding a stationary bike today, so wish me well! My little booty is sure to be sore after. And it’s still little! I took my measurements today, and I’m still 34-24-35. The girls are still a cute B! No big boobies for this chick, thank you. I still want to look good in a bikini! I don’t want to have to buy a new wardrobe. I brought what I needed, and I want to get a few more things here, but I’m saving the shopping trip for when I get back to San Diego.

I’m learning to play a game called Ma Jongg from one of the nurses. It’s fun, and helps pass the time. I suck at it, and I lose money every time I play. I’m also learning a little of the language. I’ll never be good at it, but its fun to try.

I think that the medicine is stating to take hold. I am feeling a lot better for no particular reason. I am grateful for that, but I don’t want my moods tied to a pill.

I am totally ready to get out of here, so check on that passport, girl. I don’t want to spend too much time with just my helper when I leave, okay? HURRY!!!

XOXO

Katrina

To: [email protected]
From: Kat432578@ gmail.com
Re: I’m out!

Ok girl, I know you’re on your way. Week three point five and I am outta here! Doc just gave me the go ahead, and I am already packed. Phi took all my bags to her car, and all that remains is to wait for you. My exercises are going super, and the pain is gone. Even the doctor is impressed. I looked at myself in the mirror, and I couldn’t tell the difference between mine and a real girl’s.

I am totally hitting the beach when I get there. I am as white as a ghost, and I’m not staying that way for long. I just don’t know whether to go topless or not. Maybe I’ll just go nude! I suppose I’ll figure that out when I get there.

I got a short call from Trent. I said he was finishing up some things and would be back here for a little break in a week. I probably shouldn’t have, but I told him where I’d be, and invited him over. I find myself wanting to see him again. We need to get you hooked up when he gets here, because I’m not leaving you alone, and you aren’t going to be a third wheel. There are a few eligible guys lurking around here. You’ll need to approve of one before we do anything. This is going to be super cool!

I think I’m finally ready for my new life, Marisa. I can deal with most of the crap I know I’m going to face when I get back; at least I think I can. I won’t have to hide who I really am anymore.

Just one thing bothers me. Will I be able to give up the life I had before. I mean, the money was really good, and I don’t really have any marketable skills yet. I wonder if dancing is for me. You know what kind. I’ll bet I could really make some great money. I was thinking about this, and all I know how to do is use my body to get what I want.

Damn, I’ve managed to depress myself again. I should stop thinking and go back to being the dumb blonde. Life was a lot less complicated then. Get up, go to school, screw all night, do it all again.

Fortunately, I don’t have to think about all of that until I get back. I am just going to enjoy my little vacation. Ignoring this problem is going to have to do for now.

I just can’t wait to give you a big hug when you get here! We are gong to have so much fun, just us girls. Phi told me she can show us around the area, and we can go the coolest clubs, so get ready to partayyyy!  I hear the beach is just the best, and I intend to get very acquainted with it. I could only get a room with a king bed, so I hope you don’t mind if we sleep together. After all, we did spend a few nights in that full size bed of yours, and if we can sleep in that, this should be totally no problem.

Phi told me that a girl like me needs to be very careful going to clubs. I can have a lot of fun, but I need to be careful, as there are a lot of guys who will try to give us a roofie colada. Like I haven’t had that tried on me once or twice. I can spot those creeps from a mile away. I had to learn that the hard way once. You should watch out though, I suppose she could be right. I’d hate to have you drugged or worse on our vacation. I’ll watch out for you though!
It’s only about 38 degrees out (about a 100 degrees). It sounds a lot better in metric. Even wearing the lightest cotton sundress I have, it still feels like the surface of the sun. The humidity is a wonderful 80 percent. Blahhhh!

I’m actually wearing some cute undies for a change, but am still wearing a pad just in case I spot a little. I am kid of glad I won’t have to go through a period, because a pad feels almost like wearing a diaper! I’m not wearing a bra, though, it would just be too hot. I feel totally undressed! Fortunately, the car I rented has working AC, or I would just be dead. It’s even too hot for makeup, just some mascara and lipgloss is all I can stand. I hope the coast is better. My hair is a complete mess. I can’t keep it straight, no matter what I do. I’ll keep it in a ponytail, just to keep it out of my face.

Hurry up and land, girl! I’ll meet you at the airport!

XOXO

Katrina

Readers,
This ends the first part of the tale. Next:
Marisa meets Katrina at the airport. The next installment will chronicle their adventures in Thailand. The fun is just beginning!

Cindilee

The Katrina story arc comes to an exciting close!

Seeing the unmistakable outline of my best friend’s rear end at the at the baggage claim, I couldn’t hold back my excitement any longer.

MARISA! I screamed. She turned around and looked, embarrassed, then smiled. KAT! We ran to each other and hugged. I was crying, so relieved that she was finally here. She was crying too, and we were both so excited to see each other. We were making a total scene, and we didn’t care. The only person in the world to me right then was my friend.

People may have thought that we were lovers, but that was so not true. I loved her like a sister. She loved me the same way. Marisa got me through some very tough times when I was turning tricks. She never judged me, and while she may not have liked what I did, she understood why, almost like she could read my mind. Some may not count that as friendship, but to me it was the only way anyone could have been my friend. I wasn’t going to be denied, even if I had to live on the street.

“I’m so glad to see you, girl!” Marisa screeched in her cute little Spanish accent. “I’ve missed you so much! You look fabulous!”

I did a little twirl for her “Ya think? I was worried I was getting fat.”

“If that is fat, sweetie, I want some of it! How long have you been down, like 5 weeks?”

“Almost, I guess, maybe more like four, but who’s counting? You are totally beautiful, even after like what, 20 hours or so on the plane?”

“Yeah, well, first class helps, you know. I hope you know, you’ve spoiled me forever!”

“Yeah, well, don’t get too used to it, hon. I’m not made of money, but it was nice putting you in first class. After all, you didn’t have to come out.”

She looked shocked “Didn’t have to come out? I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. I just wish I would have listened to you about the passport. We could have come out together.”

We walked over to customs, and I waited while she got checked out. She only had two small bags, and I was guessing shorts, tees and little dresses didn’t take up much room. Marisa is such a beautiful girl, about five four and one hundred and five pounds. She’s got more on top than I do, and a rear end that makes the boys (and some girls) look twice.

We make quite a pair. Me, the nutty blonde, and Marisa, the smart, witty Latina. She came from a big family, with four sisters, two older and two younger, and three brothers. The brothers really don’t like me. I’m just the little “maricon” that hangs out with their sis. The girls tolerate me, but I don’t think that my situation is really something they can identify with, so I guess it’s enough that Marisa likes me. Her parental units are strict Catholics, and I’m an abomination or something. They are always as cold as ice to me.

As Marisa left customs, she skipped up to me. “Okay, girlfriend, where to now? If it helps, I’m completely starving.”

Smiling, I gave her another little hug. “I can fix that, let’s go to my car.”

Reaching the car, I introduced her to Phi. “She’ll be helping me get through the next few weeks of this. She knows exactly what I’m going through, and she has already been a great help.”

She hugged Phi “Cool. Any friend of Kat’s is a friend of mine. Pleased to meet you!” Pausing, she clapped her hands. “Okay, let’s eat!”

“Phi, where is a good place to eat on the way out of town?” I asked.

She crossed her arms and looked to the side, thinking. Then her eyes lit up. “Oh! I know just the place. You’ll love it! It’s just the place for a first time visitor to go and get a good authentic Thai meal.”

“Okay, Drive on! We are at your mercy!”

We got in to the car, and Phi took us to this little hole in the wall place. Phi had good taste, so I figured this was a great place to eat. I wasn’t disappointed, and neither was Marisa. We ate like animals.

“Oh my gosh, Kat! That was wonderful! I don’t know what they do to chicken and rice, but it’s different than anything I had in the States.”

“I know! Isn’t this great? Now you know why I was worried about my weight.”

Marisa looked at our guide. “I guess. Phi, you don’t talk much. What’s the matter? Cat got your tongue?”

She looked quizzically at Marisa, and then me. Clearly she didn’t understand what my friend had said.

“She means, well, you know, since you are quiet, she thought a cat had stolen your tongue, and….well…., I’m not explaining this very well. It’s just an expression in English that means you are quiet.”

She smiled thinly. “I see…I just don’t have a lot to say right now, and I like listening to you talk. It helps my English. I want to go to America to live, and soon.”

We both nodded.

“Well, if you need a referral or something, we would be more than happy to help you.”

She shook her head politely. “Thank you, but no, I’ve already got that taken care of. I’m just earning enough money to get a good start there.”

Shrugging, I agreed. “I know what you are talking about.”

Phi looked at me with the same questioning look. “What do you mean?”

Blushing, I suddenly realized where I was going. “Oh, nothing. Maybe we should head for home now.”

Marisa elbowed me in the car. “Shut up!” she whispered. “Kat, it’s none of her business what happened with you.”

“I know” I whispered back. “I have a big mouth sometimes.”

Both Marisa and I spent the trip to the regional airport reminiscing about some of the things that we did. We hopped a little airplane for the trip across country to get to Phuket. We caught a little break, as the weather was clear on the way over. Two hours later we landed, and Phi got us set up with another car. She drove us to our little cabana just off the beach.

Mari and I were exhausted by the time we got there, and excused ourselves to go to bed. We grabbed a quick shower together, as the hot water was kind of limited. We were both in our towels, and I was braiding her hair. I loved doing that; she had such beautiful long hair.

“Kat?”

“What, Mari?”

“I want to see it.”

“What?”

“Your new, you know.”

I punched her lightly “Why would you want to see that? Do I go around asking to look at yours?

“That’s different, and you know it. I would have shown you if you would have ever asked me.”

I continued braiding her hair. “I don’t know, it’s not different at all, Mari. I just don’t go around showing my private parts to just anyone who asks, do I?

Mari looked hurt. “It’s new, Kat. I want to see if they did a good job”

“That’s lame, Mari! I told you they did a good job”

“I thought we were friends, Kat!”

“Okay, okay, you big baby. You’re worse than a man!” I imitated her, sounding as whiny as I could. “Come on Kat, let me see your new puss! C’mon, Kat! Pleeeeese!”

“I do NOT sound like that!” she said as she folded her arms in front of her. I could see her smile in the mirror.

“Let me finish your hair, Mari. Then you owe me!”

I finished braiding her hair about three minutes later. Then, leaning back on to the bed, I undid my towel and spread my legs for her.

She gasped. “Oh my God!”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! Absolutely nothing. It looks just like mine! I can’t see any scarring at all! If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear you were born that way.”

“Great. Do I have your seal of approval?”

She never looked away “Yes! Let me touch it.”

“Uhhhh, no, Mari. I don’t want you touching me there. It would be gross. You’re like my sister!”

“Oh, it won’t hurt. I want to see what it feels like.”

Pulling my towel back over myself, I retorted, “It feels just like yours, I’m sure, Mari.”

She seemed to snap out of her haze. “I’m sorry, Kat. I didn’t mean that like it sounded.”

It’s okay, Mari. I don’t want to ruin what we have. That’s how it starts. You touch me, I touch you, and before long, we are all over each other. I’m not physically ready for that yet, and mentally either. And not with you. You may not feel that way about me, but I would feel like I am making out with my sister. Can you understand that?”

Mari looked embarrassed. “I can. I’m sorry, Kat. I don’t know what came over me. I’m not saying it would have led anywhere, but I guess it isn’t something we should do, is it?”

“No. But it’s okay, no harm done. Why don’t you do my hair now and we can go to sleep. I’m exhausted.”

Mari took care of my hair. She was quiet as she worked. When she was done, I put on my jammies and hugged Mari.

“You aren’t mad at me, are you?”

“No, just embarrassed with myself. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Hey, you were curious. I think a lot of people are curious about us. I think a lot of men are dying to have sex with us, just to see what it’s like. The harder they protest, the more they want it.”

That seemed to make her feel better. “You’re right. I was curious, and maybe a little turned on. You are a very sexy woman, and I don’t think you fully realize the effect you have on people.”

“Still friends?”

“Still sisters!”

We had a wonderful nights sleep in our bed. The waves were relaxing white noise, and a nice monsoon thunderstorm struck during the night. I always love thunderstorms. They keep me relaxed like nothing else.

We woke up to the smells of eggs and bacon cooking. Phi had evidently started breakfast, and I was hungry. Mari was already in the bathroom. I got up and knocked on the door.

“Are you decent, Mari?”

“Sure, Kat, come on in. I’m just finishing up.”

I walked in to find her clearing her toiletries up from the counter. She had taken her shower, and had already gotten her outfit for the day. It was just a pair of cute booty shorts and a tank top. She had “forgotten” her bra.

I held up her filmy little bra. “Forget something?”

Smiling, she pulled it quickly from my hand. “Nope, too hot.”

I reached in to the shower and started the water. Mari was finishing her makeup, and I reached in and found something that made me laugh.

Mari looked at me through the mirror. “What’s so funny?”

I pulled out the waterproof “pocket rocket” she left in the shower. Holding it delicately, I teased, “A little anxious, were we? Or did I have more of an effect on you that you are willing to admit?”

She blushed enough that even I could see it through her tanned skin. Grabbing the little wand from me, she sputtered. “It was a long flight, Okay? I was very tense, and that helped a lot!”

Suddenly, I remembered the smile that Spongebob had on his face when he found out that Squidward really did like Krabby Patties. A big smile spilt my face and I burst out laughing.

Soon, Mari was laughing with me. I hadn’t laughed like that in months. It felt good.

My shower was a quick affair, as little miss vibrator had used up most of the hot water in her passion.

I put on a yellow mini sundress. It had some support in the bodice, so I didn’t need a bra. I put a pad in my panties and put on some yellow sandals.

Phi and Mari had already started eating. I sat down and spooned some eggs onto my plate and grabbed a couple of strips of bacon. “How did you know I liked Bacon and eggs, Phi?”

“You told a nurse at the hospital, Kat. I just listened”

Taking a forkful of the eggs, I replied “You are a vey good listener, Phi, Thank you.”

She smiled. “Just doing the job you hired me to do, Kat.”

It was still cloudy, so the beach was out for the time being. I had failed to account for the fact that it was monsoon season in Thailand when I set this little excursion up. It was a minor disappointment, and still wouldn’t have kept me from doing it when I did.

Just as it looked like today would be a complete washout, my phone rang. The number that came up was private, but I answered it anyway.

“Hello?”

“Katrina? It’s Trent. How are you doing?”

“Trent! Hi! I’m ok, but I haven’t heard from you in a while. What’s up?”

“Oh, phone service can be a little spotty where I was, so I was able to finish up what I was doing. I’m in Bangkok now. I thought we might get together for a little dinner.”

That made my day. “Wow, Trent, that sounds super awesome!” I paused, remembering where I was. “Oh, crap! I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“I’m not in Bangkok anymore. I’m in Phuket. I was dis…I mean I was finished with what I had to do, so I moved to Phuket to finish my uhh, vacation.”

“Ohhh, that’s too bad. I had a great night planned for us.”

I was very disappointed. I was really starting to like this guy. “Ohhh, Trent, I sorry. I would sooo like to go out with you tonight.”

“Ok, I’ll catch a plane out there, and be there in about two hours. That is, if you don’t mind.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Mind? Of course not! But my best friend is here, and I won’t go anywhere without her. I know this is kind of short notice, but could you bring someone with you? Or do you know someone here?”

“That depends, I guess. Is she hot?”

“Why should that matter?”

“I’m not setting my friends up with someone they may not like. Would you?”

“I guess not.” then I felt a little naughty “But if you want to take me out, it’s a risk you’ll have to take, smart boy!”

I heard him laugh. “Okay, but if I didn’t think you were worth it, I’d stay here in Bangkok.”

My flagging self esteem soared. “Oh, I’m worth it, all right. Here’s where I am…”

I got off the phone and screamed. “MARISA! We’re going out tonight!”

Marisa ran into our room. “What?”

“We are going OUT tonight. A date! With two guys!”

She looked stunned. “What do you mean? What’s up?”

I explained the situation to her, including her date.

Rolling her eyes, she moaned. “Great! I get the wingman.”

I grabbed her by the shoulders. “I don’t think so, Mari. He is trying to impress me, and believe me its working! He’ll bring a friend, and I’m sure he will be totally hot! They’ll be here at about five this afternoon. We’ve got some time to think about what we are going to wear. You did bring something to wear, didn’t you?”

“Of course, silly. I wouldn’t be caught dead with at least one outfit to make a man drool”

Giggling, I replied. “This is one of the things I love about being a girl! Boys are soo predictable”

We retreated to our room to plan our night.

At about noon, the weather started to clear up. The sun was peeking through the clouds, and it looked like the rest of the day might be sunny.

“Let’s hit the beach, Mari. The sun is out enough to start us on a nice tan”

“Are you sure, Kat?” she questioned “I don’t want to get burned.”

“I have plenty of sunblock, and a killer bikini to try out. If I don’t get twenty whistles, I’ll consider it a failure.”

I went to one of my bags, and pulled out what might have passed as a piece of string and four little patches of cloth. I went into the bathroom to change. After tying all the bows, I came out to model it for Mari.

“Ta Daaa! Hide the kids, mom and dad because Hurricane Katrina is hitting the beach!”

Mari whistled loudly “You look totally hot, girl. That suit would get you arrested in most places. It’s sick. It’s totally inappropriate, and I love it! Turn around. Is it a thong?”

I showed her. “It’s a Rio back. It leaves just a little more to the imagination, but not much!” I giggled.

“Okay, where’s mine, girl. You said you had a little one for me. You are not showing me up today.

I pulled hers out. What there was of her triangle top left about fifty percent of her glorious C’s totally exposed. The bottom was a thong. I know she always wanted one, and now she had it.

She modeled it for me, and couldn’t stop looking at herself in the mirror. “I am such a slut! It’s totally, completely hot!”

I grabbed our cover-ups. “Let’s go, you slut. Let’s make some drool”
Phi looked at us as we left, smiled and shook her head. I noticed this and asked. “Are our suits too much? Not enough?”

“No, I was just laughing at your silliness. That’s all. Have fun, I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Okay, thanks, Phi.”

The walk to the beach was a riot. We didn’t have enough sense to put on more clothes, and I loved it. We got several whistles, I noticed three husbands got smacked by their wives, and a beach volleyball game was suspended while we walked by. A few jealous girls called us choice names. Like I haven’t been called a hundred times worse than slut. A few people paid big money to debase me more than that. No, it would take a whole lot more that someone calling me slut or bitch to get my panties in a bind.

We laid out for over an hour. We had quite a laugh watching some poor slob walk into a pole while we were putting sunblock on each other. We were so evil.

We came back to the cabana at around three thirty. We showered, and were still smooth in the legs and underarms. The laser treatments were so worth the cost. I was a real blonde, but my body hair was slightly darker. Shaving left me smooth, but the follicles were always visible. I hated that, so I got rid of them, and paid for Marisa also. We would never have to shave again.

We were ready at five on the dot. We were both in little sundresses, Mari’s was a flower pattern strapless, and mine was pink, with spaghetti straps. We both had a minimum of makeup. Light foundation, mascara and lip gloss. We looked totally cute.

The bell rang. I had given Phi the night off, and I answered to door. Trent was looking completely handsome in a blue polo and shorts.

“Hello, beautiful!” He was carrying two bouquets of flowers, One for me and one for Mari.

I felt a twinge I hadn’t felt for some time. I had long since lost any ability to get aroused in the normal male way, and my arousal was more an internal feeling. It was a flutter in my tummy that I couldn’t put my finger on. I smiled my happiest smile and replied, “Hello, handsome.’

“These are for you, and these, are for your friend. Marisa, wasn’t it?”

Marisa appeared out from behind me to accept the flowers “Yes it was, and is. Thank you. Kat didn’t say you were such a gentleman.” I smiled as I elbowed her. “ooff. I mean yes she did.”

“Well, She also didn’t say what an attractive lady you are” It was my turn to get elbowed.

“Well, he should know that any friend of mine would be completely beautiful, inside and out!”

I could tell he was amused by our antics. “Shall we go? Rock is keeping a place for us at the club.”

We looked at each other. “Rock? The club?” It was smiles and giggles all the way to the “Club”. Hey, we’re only eighteen! Give us a break!

He took us to a private club. He was greeted at the door by the doorman or whatever. He was very respectful, and pointed Trent towards the door. “Right this way, Mr. Roberts. Your table is waiting. Mr. Strong is already there”

I couldn’t help it. I laughed. Seriously? Mr. Rock Strong? What is this guy, a Bond villain? Trent looked at me with a grin on his face. He knew what I was laughing about. Marisa was kind of green, wondering who she had gotten hooked up with.

Her fears were allayed when we got to the table. Mr. Rock Strong was a very handsome, very cultured looking gentleman. He looked to be about twenty five, was five feet eleven and about one hundred seventy five pounds. He introduced himself as Richard Strong. I could almost hear Marisa’s sigh of relief.

“What about ‘Rock’? Where is he?”

Mr. Strong rolled his eyes. “You didn’t call me that did you, Duff?”

I looked at Trent and started laughing “Duff? Your nickname is Duff?”

He got a little embarrassed, and spoke. “Okay, okay. You’re right, Richard, I shouldn’t have done that. Girls, his real name is Richard Rockwell Strong .But it’s so much fun to see people’s reactions when they think you are really named Rock Strong.” We shared a good laugh over that.

“Richard Strong, allow me to introduce you to Miss Marisa Gomez, of San Diego. Marisa, Richard will be your escort for tonight.”

He reached for her hand and kissed it. “Pleased to meet you, Marisa.”

“Same here, Richard. I look forward to getting to know you better.”

“Richard, This is the girl I’ve been telling you about, Miss Katrina McCoy, also of San Diego”

He reached for my hand and kissed it. “Trent’s description didn’t do you justice, Miss McCoy. You are far more beautiful than he gave you credit for.”

“Call me Katrina, please.” I looked to Trent. “So, describing me to your friends, huh?”

He pulled out a chair for me, as did Richard for Marisa. “Maybe a little bit. It’s not every day someone like you falls into a person’s life”

I was on cloud nine. Never in my entire life had I ever been treated like this. I was falling for this man, and hard. I had to pull back, if that was possible. I felt like the stray dog who finally found someone to love it. This was so nice.

“So, Trent,” I began. “You don’t strike me as the typical poor as a church mouse college grad student. What’s the deal?”

“Oh, I do ok. I have a couple of jobs that pay the bills; the rest is just good money management. I don’t often have a lot of free time. It’s something I’m trying to work on.”

“Where did you do your undergrad work?”

“United States Military Academy”

“You’re a soldier?”

“Inactive Reserve for now. I have some other interests that the Government is paying me to explore”

“Like what?”

“Oh, nothing worth mentioning. I am in international relations right now”

“In other words, don’t ask?”

“Something like that. It’s really not all that exciting.”

I noticed Richard and Marisa were lost in their own conversation. The waiter arrived to take our drink order. Marisa ordered a white wine, Richard a beer. The waiter looked at me and I ordered a Perrier. Trent raised his eyebrow and questioned me.

“You know you can order anything, right?”

“Yes, I do. I just don’t drink alcohol.”

“Not even a little?”

“No. I can’t stand it. Perrier is fine with me. I don’t mind if you want to drink, though ”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Interesting. Okay, I’ll have a beer”

The waiter left to place our drink orders. I didn’t explain to him that on one of my special “dates”, my client thought it would be funny to force me to drink wine to make me more “playful”. He nearly killed me, and paid a steep price to keep me quiet. Since that day, I couldn’t stand the smell of the stuff, let alone drink it.

Trent asked me about what I did in San Diego. “I’m just a student. I graduated from High School mid term. So, I guess there’s not a lot to tell.”

“Any folks?”

“My mother died two years ago, and I don’t know my dad. I’m pretty much alone.”

“He reached for my hand. That’s a lot for a young girl to deal with, Katrina. Are you okay?”

“I guess as okay as the next person. I try not to let it bother me. I guess I’ve pretty much put it in the past.”

“Are you sure?”

Smiling, I squeezed his hand. “Yeah, I’m okay.” I wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to ruin the night by blubbering, or letting him in on my little secret. I couldn’t deal with that right now. I was just going to enjoy our time together, and not worry about anything else.

I turned the tables. “So, what about you? Where do you come from?”

“Oh, I come from a little town in Maryland. Baltimore. Every heard of it?”

I smiled, looking down at the table. I needed to quit looking at is eyes. They are sooo beautiful. “Yes, I think so. They have a baseball team, right?”

He squeezed my hand. “Yeah, that’s the one. Anyway, my folks have a little business there doing some government work. That’s how I got on the short list for the Academy. It wasn’t my first choice, but a shoulder injury put an end to both my football and baseball aspirations, and I figured why not be all I can be?”

“You played sports?”

“Yes I did. How about you?”

“Sorry, I was just a geeky girl. I wasn’t an athlete, but I enjoyed watching the games.”

“That’s a shame. I had a blast. I think you would have too.”

“No” I demurred. “Athletics and I didn’t mix” Not after I was beaten by one of the football linemen who thought I was a “sissy”. Well, duh! Had I been a real girl, he would have been put in prison. As it was, I shut my mouth and left it alone.

The waiter brought our drinks. After everything was served, I let Trent order for me, and Richard ordered for Mari. It was a French restaurant, so I figured I couldn’t go wrong.

After that was taken care of, Trent looked at me and shook his head. “I don’t know what to think about you, Katrina. There is a lot more to you than meets the eye, but I’ll be damned if I know what it is.”

Looking into his eyes, I leaned forward. “Is that a bad thing?”

“In your case, I don’t think so. Maybe someday you’ll let me know. But for now, I’ll take what I can get. To us and what mysteries may come next.” He offered his glass to my water bottle, and we toasted.

Our meals were unbelievable. I savored every bite. I had the duck, and it was wonderful. Trent knew what I liked.

We had some coffee to end the meal. I never was much of a coffee drinker, but I managed to get enough sugar into it to make it palatable.

“So girls, are you ready to do something a little more exciting?”

We looked at each other. “Like what?”

Trent looked at Richard. “Oh, I don’t know. Why don’t we surprise you.”

“We aren’t going to get in trouble, are we?”

Richard spoke up. “We wouldn’t be very responsible escorts if we didn’t take care of you, would we.”

Marisa answered. “That’s what we are afraid of.”

The valet returned to car to us, and Richard and Trent opened the doors for us like true gentlemen. What did I ever do to be treated like this?

As we got underway, I asked where we were going. Trent said we were going to a dance club. I recognized it as a place where a lot of kathoey hung out. Girls like me, or pre op transsexuals. I looked at Marisa in the back seat, snuggling with Richard. I was in a panic. What if someone made me? What if Trent made fun of those poor girls?

“Are you all right, Katrina?”

“Yes, just a little carsick, I guess” If he only knew. We got to the place, called the Cat Club (no, the irony wasn’t lost on me). The valet took the car, and we went inside. The music was loud, and the patrons were louder.

Trent leaned in to me. “Don’t be too shocked, but a lot of the girls walking around here are really men.”

“Really? I would never have guessed.”

“Yeah, it’s true. I have never been to a place like this. I thought it would be a wild evening. One for the books.”

God. If he only knew. I smiled and danced with Trent. He had eyes only for me, and he never mentioned what was going on around us.

I finally had to ask. “So these women are really men? What do you think about that?”

He shrugged. “Hell, I don’t know. Different strokes for different folks. Never really thought about it. I guess it’s kind of an oddity, but it’s not my place to judge. I just roll with it.”

That answer made me smile a bit. Maybe there was some hope for us after all.

We had a wonderful time, Mari and Richard went off to go for a walk on the beach. They took the car, but that was cool, we weren’t that far from the cabana, and for some reason I felt safe with Trent. I found out so much more about him. What he liked, what he didn’t. What his favorite foods were. Stuff that may sound dumb to the average person. Stuff that nobody besides Marisa and a couple of other people ever bothered to share with me. Certainly no one I had ever “dated” in the past.

We walked, hand in hand. I leaned in to him as we walked, resting my head on his big shoulder.

“Thank you for visiting me, Trent. It means more to me than you will ever know.”

He looked puzzled. “Why? I’ll bet you have guys lined up to go out with you.”

I stopped and looked him in the eye. “No, I don’t. I don’t let many people close to me, and those who have usually ended up hurting me, so spending time like this is like, I don’t know, being in an oasis or something.”

Pulling me close, he spoke softly. “I don’t know who hurt you in the past, but I think you’re something special. I would never do that, and you can rely on that. In the short time I’ve known you; you have really made an impact on me. There is something about you that’s different, and I can’t put my finger on it. You’re strong, but extremely vulnerable at the same time. I find you completely fascinating.”

I blushed, and turned away “You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Trent. There’s a lot about me, that if you knew, well, you wouldn’t find me so fascinating.”

He pulled me into a tight hug. “There’s nothing you could have done that would make me think that. You’re eighteen. What could you have done that could be so bad? Believe me, I’m the last person that would judge someone. I’ve done some pretty terrible things myself.”

If he only knew. Tears started down my cheeks and I buried my head in his chest and cried. He just held me, and that was enough.

After a minute, he suddenly stiffened and held me tighter. Something was wrong. I looked up and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Shhhhh. Maybe nothing. We should get going.”

As we started walking again, he held me protectively, almost like a bodyguard.

I asked again “What’s wrong, Trent?”

“We’re not alone.” He was tense, and I was starting to get scared. He held my head between his hands, looking me squarely in the eyes. “If things get crazy, you stay with me and do what I tell you to do, ok?”

“I’m scared, Trent.”

“Me too, Kat. But whoever is following us should be more worried.” He produced a small phone and spoke into it. “Rock?”

“Go ahead?”

“Trouble. Get here ASAP, partner”

“Rog. On my way. ETA four minutes.”

He whispered into the mike. “It’ll be over by then. Get the lead out.”

“Hey, fox.” A voice from behind us crooned in a strong Thai accent. “How about you losing the boyfriend and coming with us. The boss wants to see you. He has a business proposition for you.”

Trent tightened like a spring. It was slight, but I could feel it. There was no nervousness in his actions. “Let me handle this.”

Trent looked coolly at the thug. “I don’t think the lady wants to go anywhere with you tonight, friend. It might be better if you bothered someone else tonight. Better for everyone involved.”

The thug looked at Trent and smiled evilly, an evil magnified by the two gold teeth in place of the front top incisors.

“You don’ know who you messin’ with white boy. This our town, our ways. The boss says she come. She come.”

“I don’t think so, friend. And the five other boys that are hiding can come out now. I know where you all are.”

Five men came out and lined up side by side with the leader.

Trent whispered to me in measured tones. “When I tell you, drop down to my feet and stay down until I tell you it’s ok. If anything happens to me, take this phone and run like hell. Rock will find you. Understand?”

I nodded nervously. “Don’t get hurt, okay?”

He smiled. “Not bloody likely”

The head creep motioned to his buddies. They were all wiry youths, all lean and very mean looking. The leader spoke again. “Maybe you not know who we are, white boy.”

“I don’t need to know, friend. Don’t care. If you make a move for my friend here, you will all be very sorry in 30 seconds.” He paused, looking at each one of them, as if measuring their capabilities. “I have no desire to kill you, so if you walk away now, I’ll forget all of this.”

The men started to shift nervously. Clearly, dealing with Trent wasn’t part of the plan.

The leader paused, then resumed his stupid grin “We six, you one. What you do to us?”

“Try something and see, friend.” He pointed to the one next to the leader. “Anything happens, you die first. Understand?”

“He no speak English”

“Too bad. Okay boys, What’s it gonna be? Do something or get out of the way.”

Maybe ten seconds passed without a word. It seemed like ten minutes. Then….

“DROP!” I went down like I’d been shot.

Faster than I could see, Trent produced a silenced pistol from behind him. 6 whisper quiet shots later, 6 thugs were on the street, writhing in pain. Maybe fifteen second had passed. Not one of the men were dead. He had shot them all in apparently non-vital areas.

“Stay here, Kat.” He walked over to the leader.

“Told you to move on, boy. Now we get to have a conversation.”

“Fuck you, white boy. I say nothing!”

“Okay. Have it your way.” He proceeded to shoot him on the shoulder.

“AHHHHHH!” he screamed. “Okay, I talk.”

“Who sent you?”

“Boss White. He want her for his club. Say she make him big money. Say he pay big money for her already.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know!” Trent raised the pistol again.

“This pistol has twenty rounds. I’ve only used seven. Do the math.”

“Okay! Okay! He has deal with surgery place, they do good work, he get info on girl. HE have girl work for blondie. She name Phi, she set blondie up. That all I know, man. That all!”

“What surgery? What place?”

Oh my God. I had to break this up. He couldn’t find out this way.

“Trent!” I screamed. “The police are coming. I don’t want to be here when they get here! Let’s go!”

“Just a minute, Kat, I’m trying to get some information.” He turned back to the thug.

“Please, Trent! I’m scared! I need to get back.” I was crying hysterically. This wasn’t an act. He couldn’t find out why I was here.

He ran to me and put his arms around me. “Okay, Kat. It’s okay! Take it easy. He soothed.

“Please Trent. Please take me home.”

The phone crackled to life. “You guys okay?”

“Yeah Rock. Pick us up.”

I was inconsolable during the ride back. I couldn’t stop crying. I had been betrayed again. This time, by people I didn’t even know. Was the therapist who had been so nice to me just acting? And Phi. She had been recommended. By the clinic. Was there a giant “screw with me” sign on my back? The cat was halfway out of the bag now. Obviously, Trent wasn’t what he said he was. I wasn’t. Phi wasn’t, the doctor wasn’t. No one was. The only person I could count on was Marisa, and now she was in danger too, because of me.

We got to the cabana. Trent carried me in. I had lost maybe ten pounds since I got here, and he lifted me like I was nothing.

“Oh my God, Kat! What happened, Trent? There’s been a problem. Katrina was set up.”

Mari gasped “Set up? How?”

“Apparently, the clinic where she was had a deal with one of the local crime lords to be supplied with sex slaves. A blonde Caucasian girl like Kat is worth her weight in gold. Girls, I need to know what is going on here.”

I panicked. “No! Trent, please! Just go! Take Marisa with you. I can take care of myself. I’ll make it to the airport and get back on my own! This is my business!”

Marisa grabbed me. “KAT! You’ll never make it. They know where you are, you don’t have a car. They’ll get you!”

“I don’t care! I DON’T CARE! You have all done enough. I won’t go with you!” My pulse was going crazy. I was melting down, but I couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t find out. Not like this. I loved him. If he cast me aside, life in a brothel would be nothing.

“MARI! LEAVE…ME ALONE!” I began to hyperventilate. “NOOOOO!” The room began to spin, then, nothing”

I don’t know how long I had been out. When I came to, Richard and Trent were talking in the corner. Phi was sitting in a chair, with her hands behind her back. Mari was with me, holding a cool cloth to my forehead.

“w-w-what happened?” I managed weakly.

“You passed out, girl. You melted down. According to the clock, you’ve been out for 3 hours. Trent has called in a helicopter. He and Richard work for the government on some special project that they won’t tell me about.”

I remembered what had happened. Tears flowed down my cheeks again. “I think he knows about me, Mari”

“Maybe. Maybe not. But you have to tell him. He risked his life to save you.”

“I can’t Mari. I just can’t. He’ll hate me, and I can’t hurt him. I’d rather he lived his life without me and be happy.”

She got down on her knees beside the bed. “Trust him, Kat. Trust him to make the right decision. With all of the facts.”

“I can’t Mari! Everyone I’ve ever had contact with except for you has betrayed me. How do I trust him?”

“Do you love him?”

I turned away. “Yes.”

“Then tell him everything. Trust your heart this time.”

I had to think. This was way too fast, and not what I wanted.

Phi saw that I was awake, and got an evil smirk on her face. “Well, look who’s up. The little AHahhaahahahah!”

She didn’t get to finish her thought. Trent hit her with a stun gun. “oops.”

Trent smiled at me said “This little rat came sneaking in to try to take what cash you had. Imagine her surprise when she felt the barrel of a gun against her temple.”

“What did she tell you?” I asked shakily.

“Nothing. She thinks she’s being clever. I already know everything she knows about the operation.”

Mari looked at me. I knew what I had to do. Sitting up in the bed, I pulled my knees up to my chest and put my pillow out in front of me.

Mari looked up at Trent. “She’s the best friend I have, and she’s been through more than you can ever know. Listen to her, and whatever you do, don’t hurt her. Be nice.”

He looked concerned. “What’s up, Katrina?”

“Please, sit down. We need to talk. Well, really, I need to talk, and you need to listen.”

He sat down on the side of the bed. “What is it, Kat?”

Taking a deep breath, I began. “I need to explain some things to you, Trent. When I came here, I never expected to meet anyone like you, let alone develop any kind of an attraction. You see, I’m not really who you think I am. You see, I came to Thailand to have my SRS done.”

“SRS?”

“Sexual Reassignment Surgery. I was born a boy named Kerry.” The tears came now, but I continued. I told him every last sordid detail of my miserable life. The abuse, everything. I couldn’t even look at him, I was so ashamed. But I didn’t hold anything back. I felt like I was walking naked down Fifth Avenue. My story took the better part of an hour.

To his credit, Trent never said a word. He just listened. When I was finished, I took sighed deeply.

“So now you know everything there is to know about me. I’m sorry for leading you on. I really didn’t mean to, but you were so wonderful to me. I had never been treated like that before, and I needed it, I guess. I would never hurt you, and if you never wanted to see me again, I’ll understand.”

There was silence. I waited. I still hadn’t looked at him. I couldn’t. I was afraid of what I might see. Finally, I couldn’t bear it any longer. I looked, and he was standing at the window, looking out to the sea.

I got up from the bed, and walked quietly toward him. I reached out and gave him the lightest touch, knowing he could hurt me terribly if he felt betrayed. “Trent?” I whispered.

He turned to face me. Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

I looked up at his blue eyes. “I’m sorry. So, so sorry. I should have ignored you. Then all of this would have never happened. This is all my fault.”

“Don’t you ever say that, Katrina. I came to you. I saw a wildly beautiful woman that I had to get to know. That’s what you are, Kat. A woman. Not fake, not phony. More real to me than any woman I’ve ever known. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you, but I want to spend the rest of my life making up for the pain you endured. I love you more now than I did before. You didn’t have to trust me, yet you did. You bared everything to me, knowing in your mind that I would probably reject you. Yet still, you faced your fear. How could I not love someone like that”

I couldn’t speak. I just fell forward onto his big, strong chest and cried. This time, they were tears of joy.

He held me. “Kat, there will be some challenges ahead. You still have issues that must be dealt with. But this time, I’ll be there for you, and we’ll work it out together.” He stroked my hair. “After all, my wife will need to be ready for our children.”

Epilogue

Trent Roberts kept his word. He stayed with me, and we dealt with everything as a team. He was a grad student, and he never lied to me. I never asked how he knew what he did, and he never volunteered.

We were married three years later. My daddy walked me down the aisle.

He got his degree, and I got to be a mommy. We adopted two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. He was a very successful researcher for something secret. I never asked what he did. I didn’t care. He was home every night, and I was the center of his life.

Marisa and Richard ended up tying the knot after we did. She got her degree, and became an elementary school teacher. They are still working on a family.

Am I ashamed of what I did? Yes. But for what I have now, I would do it all over again.

Sometimes good girls do finish first!