This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister.

I originally wrote this some 2 years ago then my muse departed so for some reason I couldn’t commit anything to paper, which meant that the story stopped at chapter 13 (superstitious?) Now my muse has returned and I find that I can continue but I was left with the problem of what to do whether to carry on and post chapter 14 in the hope people would pick up the story or repost from scratch. Having asked the opinions were varied and as a result I have decided to post up the chapter 13 at a episode every couple of days then after this a weekly posting – I hope you all approve.
I realise that the language of the time is difficult to read (and difficult to write) so I have done an amalgam of the vernacular of the time and modern speech patterns

As I write this remembering back to the year 1801. What a terrible year this was for my whole family. The events of this year had many far-reaching effects on all of our lives.

We were part of the English Aristocracy my father Sir Edmund Grenford was the Baronet of Grenford. We lived in Grenford Hall a large Elizabethan house in the north of England, which was rebuilt at the start of the 1700’s to the modern style.

The war with Napoleon had been going on since 1796 with no end in sight. One of the first engagements by the British Navy namely the battle of the Nile I had lost my eldest brother William he was a midshipman on HMS Goliath commanded by Captain Thomas Foley who saw that the French fleet had left an opening for a ship to sail between the shallows and the waiting French Fleet.
Foley acting on this chance managed to get to the French Fleet and pounded the vessel leading the van of the French the Guerrier; it was during this action that my brother was killed aged 15.

Now in 1801 our family consisted of my Father Sir Edmund Grenford he was a kind considerate parent from what I remember. But being a Naval officer was rarely home.

My Mother Lady Arabella Grenford consequently was the head of the household she was a very attractive woman in her mid 40’s long copper coloured hair and a very strong will she was very stylish in her clothes and loved by all. She loved the season when we all decamped to London for ‘The Season’ which was from April/May to August adoring opera and the theatre.

My second brother Edward on the death of William became the sole heir to the title and estates of Grenford. He also was in the navy and at present was serving on HMS Hannibal as a midshipman he was now 16 and would soon be sitting his examinations. Edward was a fun loving very sensitive boy who loved music and was an accomplished artist.

Finally there was myself Charles and my twin sister Charlotte at this time we were nine years old. We looked very similar in fact when we were younger we dressed the same and it was hard to tell us apart. (In the 1800’s it was perfectly normal to dress boys in female attire until they were about 5 years old when they wore tight fitting clothes named ‘Skeleton suits before progressing into breeches)
As well as looking alike we also had similar temperaments both of us were musical and both of us were reasonable water colour painters and as was normal we could ride well and we were both very sensitive children.

1801 started as any normal year over the winter we were sat home then we went to London for the season.
In London where mama loved the opera, theatre and the social whirl that was London society.
We returned to Grenford Hall in the June and took up our lives in the country.
Then came the first bolt from the blue – our beloved father was killed in the Battle of Copenhagen; he was serving on HMS Glatton of 56 guns whose captain was a certain William Bligh who father described as the consummate seaman and navigator.
He must have died before we moved back to the country because the news reached us in the middle of June – he actually fell on the 2nd April.
The death of our father hit my dear mama very hard she withdrew into herself for a month or so leaving us in the care of our governess.
Miss Martha for that is what we called her had been my mother’s governess she was in her late 60’s her hair tied back in a severe bun, which really belied her kind and generous nature.
As for the two of us we mourned the loss of our father and I realised that in a few years time I too would be following my father and brothers into the Navy the very thought of this caused me to shiver in trepidation – not that I was afraid but I feared for my dear mama.

After a month mama returned to us still in mourning. The day of the commemoration funeral was very traumatic with lots of weeping. Afterwards all the adults repaired back to the hall for refreshments while us children were sent to the nursery and our governess.

The end of June brought more bad tidings my second brother Edward serving on HMS Hannibal had been captured by the French during the First Battle of Algeciras from the information we received the vessel had run aground and had been boarded by the French where my brother was wounded – more than that we didn’t know.
Dear mama again retired from us being so upset at the lack of news about Edward.
Again we were looked after by Miss Martha who kept on telling us that we had to be strong as we were the only family mama now had.
Summer passed and things gradually returned to normal or as normal as they could be with our recent bad news.

News from France finally arrived at the end of August. Edward was indeed a prisoner of the French he had lost his leg and according to the letter we received was an imbecile so he would soon be sent home to England.
Mama took this stoically at least Edward was alive though what his mental state was we would only know when he was repatriated.

The finally at the end of September my dear sister and my best friend succumbed to smallpox and died.
After all we had been through this death hit me so very hard I was inconsolable mama was so distressed but put on a brave face to help me face the truth.
The day Charlotte died I clung to my mother sobbing telling her, “Mama, I promise you I will never, never leave you.” I let out a wail finishing, “There is only us two left Oh mama.”
She stroked my long copper hair comforting me saying, “Edward is alive dearest so we are not alone.” She continued to stroke my hair telling me, “And soon my dear you will have to go and do your duty as much as it distresses.”
I was distraught at this saying, “Oh mama if only I had died Charlotte would be with you Oh how I wish I could change places with Charlotte I would give anything to do that and keep you company!”

Mama looked at me strangely and snapped, “Charles you don’t mean that why on earth would you want to live your life as a woman?”
I sobbed pitifully at that and my deepest feeling exploded from my 9 year old soul, “Why? Mama why? I’m afraid that I too will die like Papa and William or worse be wounded and be half a person!” I use the word person deliberately as I had thoughts that I kept to myself.
I looked at my dearest mama through my tears and sobbed, “I’m a coward I am so sorry.”

My mother continued to stroke my hair she deep in thought finally she answered, “You are no coward Charles you are a sensitive caring loving person and I would hate to loose you – but are you aware of what you have just said?”
Just then there was a knock at the room door and when mama called “Enter” Miss Martha popped her head around the door saying, “Doctor Crawford is here m’lady.”
Mama straightened up saying, “Martha have the good doctor wait in the drawing room. Arrange some refreshments for him then we will put Charles to bed give him something to help him sleep then I need to talk with you.”

This was done and when I was given the potion unseen I tipped it into the chamber pot making sure that mama and Miss M didn’t see me.
I pretended to drift off to sleep mama and Miss Martha sat in the room to talk and I overheard everything.
Wearily mama sighed and started speaking, “Martha dear we have been together for many years now I am at a crossroads.”
Martha sighed and said, “Dearest Arabella you have been through purgatory these last few months. You surely must know that I would do anything for you.”

Mother gave another heavy sigh and continued, “Charles is all I have left it would break my heart to loose him – dear child. You know the saying ‘out of the mouths of babes?”
Miss Martha nodded responding, “And what did he say that has got you into that state?”
My mother smiled answering, “I never could hide anything from you dearest Martha. He told me that he wished he could take dear Charlotte’s place and I wondered if.................”
Martha looked sharply at my mother then at my supposed sleeping form – my eyes snapped shut to maintain the pretence but my mind was working overtime – was mama thinking what I thought she was thinking?

“Dearest Arabella” Martha began “Are you considering burying dear Charlotte as Charles then Charles become Charlotte?”
A weary sounding mother responded with a heavy sigh, “Yes this is exactly what I am proposing but only if Charles realises the ramification of it all. But Martha dearest Martha should we, could it be done?”
There was silence in the room my mind was in turmoil finally after what seemed like an age Martha stirred and thoughtfully answered, “It can be done dear. I would need to speak with Old Mother Boville, as we will need something to make his body change. Also there’s Doctor Crawford downstairs come to verify the death we need to do something very quickly dear.”

“But is it right?” Mama queried. Miss Martha answered with compassion, “Arabella dear what is right and what is wrong? Everyone thinks the war is right but the good book tells us that war is wrong, that killing is wrong but we need to know what the dear boy thinks – he is so young to be making such a decision!”
Listening to this my mind was made up. A coward I may be in the eyes of others but my dear mama needed me and in truth I needed her.
I spoke up making both of them jump as they thought me fast asleep, “I will do it mama I will become Charlotte – please believe me that this is my dearest wish.”

Miss Martha was the first to react, “Eaves dropping! What have I told you about that!”
“S,s,s,sorry but I..............” I managed to stammer before mother waved me to be silent.
“My dearest child you are only nine do you really understand the enormity of what you are saying for if we pursue this there will be no going back?”
I looked at her solemnly I suppose not fully understanding the ramification of what I was about to say, “Yes mama I understand this my fondest with is to live and to bring you comfort all my life.
And Miss Martha said we had to act quickly.” I stopped there awaiting their decision.

Mama stood her long dress swishing as she walked across to me, taking my hand she looked deeply into my eyes and asked, “Are you sure, absolutely certain my dear as you are so young to make such a decision as this.”
I took a deep breath answering, “Yes mama I am certain – please believe me.”
She looked at me with compassion telling me, “You realise that if we go this there will be no going back you will have to live your life as a woman and a spinster at that?”
I didn’t even have to think this seemed so right, “Please mama believe me this is what I want.”
Mother glanced at Miss Martha who nodded slowly saying, “It would appear that the child is sure of her mind.” I didn’t miss the ‘her’ neither did mama who straightened up her mind made up.

“Now the decision is made Martha please go and prepare dear Charlotte so as she resembles Charles then come and find me I will be in Charlottes room with Charles – or should I say Charlotte.
We passed the room where my dear sister lay mother bade me wait outside while she went in.
I heard he whisper, “Please my dearest child please forgive me for I simply cannot loose my last child.”
Then she broke down in tears sobbing, “I will pray for your understanding and forgiveness dearest girl.”
I heard Martha gasp, “M’lady she smiles I swear she smiles. She lives.” There was a bit of a kerfuffle in the room and I heard mother say, “Dearest Martha there is no life in her dear body but I hope the smile is one of understanding as from now on God will be my judge!”

Mother came out of the room looking drawn, looking at me she asked, “Are you really sure that you want to pursue this course of action?” I looked her straight in the eye and answered, “Mama I am certain.”
My mother gave a grim smile and responded, “Come then child let us start your new life. Remember you brother Charles in dead – come Charlotte.”

Historical Note: - At this time the only examination that doctors carried out when certifying that someone was dead was very basic making sure that there was no pulse and holding a mirror to the mouth to ensure that there was no breathing.
The Royal Navy took midshipmen in from 'noble' families at the age of 12 years old, though 13 or 14 was more usual.
Their training was to become the officers in charge of vessels to this end the had to learn everything about naval warfare including being in the thick of any action either as a signal midshipman or midshipman of a deck (a gun deck) they were usually in the thick of the action and mortality rates were high but if the did survive they made exceptional seamen.
The mention of a funeral in this episode - apart from Lord Nelson it was usual for all the dead to be buried at sea including Post Captains so in truth there was no body to grieve over the funeral was in fact a commemoration in the style of a funeral for the person and a headstone raised in their memory

This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister.

I really thank you for your very kind comments the really do help me a lot and make sure that I am on the right track with the story.

I followed my mother into what would now be my bedroom I looked around with interest, as this was the first time I had ever been here.
The furnishings were overtly feminine the dresser, chests of drawers were in the empire style light and delicate.
The four-poster bed had pink covers and eiderdown the pillows were silk satin and as I found out so were the sheets.
There were 2 large wardrobes, which matched the bed, dresser and chests of drawers, a pale cream with eau-de-nil and gold leaf floral designs.
“Charlotte take off your clothes and we’ll get your nightdress on as you really do need to sleep dear heart.”
I stripped off my male clothing and mama produced a long pink cotton nightdress with white lace frills around the hem and bodice as this slid down my body it felt really strange but exceedingly comfortable.

Mama then took my hair out of the male stiff cue and washed it thoroughly in flower-scented soap.
This in itself was unusual as we normally only washed our hair every two months or so.
Then after drying it with a towel she tied my hair tightly with rags this was to give me ringlets – my first lesson in girl hood.
By now it was early evening and after the horrors of the day I was ready for sleep.
Mama gave me a potion to make me sleep making sure that this time I drank every drop she then tucked me into the wonderful satin sheets kissed my forehead wishing me sweet dreams.
Before my eyes closed in blessed sleep I watched my mother pick up my discarded male clothing and leave me to sleep.
The next morning I was awoken By Miss Martha bright and early, “Come on Charlotte we have a lot to do and so little time.”
Still half asleep I was a bit confused about being called Charlotte – then I remembered the events of yesterday.
I climbed out of my satin cocoon to face the new day and my new life. My long pink cotton nightdress was a nice reminder and I thought how very soft the material was compared to my male attire.

I washed using the hot water the servant had brought in a jug then dismissing the servant Miss Martha told me, “Today dear Charlotte you will begin to learn how to be a perfect lady – it will be hard but remember my dear you helped to make the decision.”
I nodded still happy in the decision that I had made then my governess carried on informing me, “Doctor Crawford signed the paperwork for your poor brother so now we will be free to bury him. Like your mama you are in mourning which will be very useful as you have so much to learn.”

A black crape dress was laid out along with the appropriate underclothes. I took my nightdress off and put on a pair of black knitted stockings, which tied above my knee with a satin ribbon.
Next was a pair of white cotton drawers with frills at the hem and split at the crotch (to make it easier when visiting the closet).
Next my chemise, which had delicate frills around the bodice then finally my black crape mourning dress in the empire style.
I stepped into the dress and Miss Martha helped me slip my arms into the long tight fitting sleeves then she laced the dress up at the back making it fit my slender body like a second skin.

The long sleeves ended at my wrist had had a delicate frill there was a satin sash just under my chest which when tied in a bow at the back gave the impression of breasts (which of course were none existent) My dress was high necked showing nothing of the delicate chemise I wore beneath.

The frill of my drawers peeped out from the hem of my dress. As Miss Martha explained to me that as a young girl (not yet 15) the hem of my dress would be just below my knee.

This got longer as I aged so by the age of 18 I would be considered a young woman thus the hem of my dress would be to my ankles.
I also was told that the daughter of the house wore smaller versions of adult dresses so I could expect to be attired similar to mama.

My shoes were made from black soft leather and tied around my ankles. Finally the rags were taken from my hair leaving perfect ringlets I was shown how to style my hair in a simple manner.
When I looked in the mirror all traces of masculinity had disappeared all that was left was a young girl in mourning for her family – I was stunned and judging by Miss Martha’s expression she too was amazed by my transformation.

As she looked at me she muttered, “This will certainly work if Mother Boville has a potion for you.”
With that we left the room and went to the breakfast room where mama was waiting.
As I walked the dress and the different movement of my clothes felt strange – not in a nasty way but in a rather nice way.
“Smaller steps Charlotte” Miss Martha told me, “A lady is always dainty and light on her feet.”

When we entered the breakfast room mother gasped as she saw me for the first time dressed as Charlotte.
She hurried over to me and hugged me saying, “My dear child this is remarkable – now are you absolutely certain you want this?”
Again I looked her straight in the eye and answered in the affirmative she looked at me with compassion and continued, “Once we have been to see Mother Boville you will need a small operation to stop you developing into a man.
I will not lie to you there will be pain but after the operation there will certainly be no turning back.”

“I understand mama” I cheerfully responded then like Charlotte said every morning I continued, “I’m very hungry mama can we break our fast?” Mama looked shocked at me saying the same thing Charlotte said every morning then recovering she answered, “Certainly dear but remember a lady has to show restraint and remain slender and desirable.”

During breakfast I found out that my education was going to drastically change already I could read and write but now I was to learn the arts of being a woman.
I had to learn to embroider and to play the piano I also had to learn household management, how to act in the presence of men, how to dance as a lady, etiquette and deportment all in preparation for the Debutant Ball when I would be presented to the Royal Family as a young lady when I officially would become eligible for marriage – which in my case would never happen!

I also found out that later today we all would be going to see Mother Boville, as she was too ancient to come to us.
Mother Boville used to be mama’s mothers cook and housekeeper Mother had know he all her life and had made certain that Mother Boville was looked after in her old age and lived in warmth and comfort.

I also was told that at the end of October we would go to London for the winter but as we were in mourning our social life was very restricted. After this we would go to London for special events and the social season, which was from March to July.

It was here in London that the operation on me would be done by a surgeon who did the same operation for the castrati and was the best available.
Mama also assured me that the operation would be carried out with me under the effects of Laudanum to control the pain.

After breakfast Miss Martha and I retired to the nursery where I started to learn how to embroider I would spend 4 hours a day on this task until I could complete a sampler that met with my governesses high standards.

Time was spent of household management and looking at fashion plates. A tutor was found to teach me the piano. while lessons in deportment and dance would be taught by Miss M and Mama.

I was now used to wearing these new clothes and to be honest I really liked the feel of them – yes I was afraid of the operation mama had said was essential but on this first day I had a feeling that I was really doing the right thing.

It was mid afternoon when I was told that we were going to see Mother Boville I was introduced to my cap or bonnet this was made from black silk and had small frills around the front it tied under my chin in a bow.
My shawl was also black made from satin the length was below my hips and it was clipped to my shoulder and draped around me when I saw my mama similarly attired a frisson of pleasure went through me.

We walked the short distance to the cottage where Mother Boville lived. She was a wizened old lady with piercing blue eyes and a pleasant smile she was stooped with age and stood about 5’ tall.
She greeted my mother warmly and mama returned - much to my surprise the affection.

Mother Boville first gave mama her condolences at her loss and bade us to sit Mother then explained what she wanted and could Mother Boville help.
After the story had been told the old woman was quiet for a while then looking at me she asked directly, “And you are certain about this little one?” A bit afraid of the authority emanating from this ancient woman I simply nodded.

She turned to my mother saying, “I understand your pain but what you are proposing is serous - are you certain as once we start there is no going back!”
Mama was quiet for a while then recounted what they had seen when they spent time with my dead sister – the smile that appeared on her cold dead face.

Mother Boville too all this in then pronounced, “Yes I can help you m’lady but the potion must be taken twice a day until she is fully developed as a maid – I would advise you that the boy must be doctored (archaic term for castration) as soon as possible m’lady.”

Mother nodded saying, “This has already been organized what do you propose Mother?”
The crone replied I will show you how to make an infusion of herbs and plants which will promote the growth you desire she will develop as a normal maid.”
Mother asked, “And what will be in this infusion?”

Mama was told that it would contain Fenugreek root, Fennel root, Angelica root, Blessed Thistle root, Dandelion root, Kelp and Watercress and that she would come to the hall when mama had all the ingredients and show mama how to prepare the potion.
So it was arranged that mama would send a coachman and gig to carry the old woman to the hall.

We arrived back at the hall and it was time to change clothing so we could dine again Miss Martha decided what I was to wear and helped me prepare.
This time my dress was of black silk empire style with delightful short sleeves it has small black bows around the hem of the full skirt.
In addition to my drawers and chemise I was laced into a black satin whalebone-training corset as my governess explained to me this was to help my body reshape itself. And to stop me slouching!

As she tugged on the laces I complained that I could hardly get my breath, “Oh please Miss Martha I can hardly draw a breath” I protested but to no avail.
“Charlotte this is not yet tight breath using the top of your lungs and take shorter breaths when you breasts develop this will show them to their best.”

As the silk dress was fastened up I realised that it did look and feel very nice even after this short time I appreciated the way the dress hung and even in mourning clothes I could imagine wearing bright feminine colours and the thought really excited me.

I went down to supper and noticed that my mother had on a similar dress as I. This made me feel comfortable.
All through the meal my lessons in femininity continued how to eat in a certain way, how to take part in conversation – a woman is never forward a woman’s place is to remain silent unless spoken to!

How wearing corsets and dresses affect how you eat and with the corset the amount you can eat.
Then after supper we retired to the drawing room and it was back to embroidery until bedtime.

Both mama and I were busy; mama helping my clumsy attempts at stitching – my main aim was to stop stabbing myself with the needle and create a uniform stitch.
All evening until bed time I was learning how to stitch the alphabet – I nearly completed an ‘A’ to mama’s satisfaction.
I was told that I would start to learn the piano and was expected to practice for 2 hours a day. Also a singing coach would be engaged.

And my brothers funeral (that was strange for me to even to think in these terms) was this coming Saturday at the family church!

Historical Note: - In the early 1800’s mourning was a lengthy process though not as long as in the Victorian period. For the loss of a husband or father the period of full mourning lasted 6 months then there were six months of ‘half mourning’ when more colours could be worn then after twelve months the ladies of the household could start to wear fashionable clothes. For a young girl of Charlottes age mourning for a parent was about 6 months even then the young lady could wear muted dark colours such as deep purple dark brown’s and deep greens.
The ladies of the household would retire from most of public life for the duration of the full mourning.
It is worthy of note that the silk crepe had a different spelling for mourning garb as it is a very matt silk and spelt with an ‘a’ i.e. crape.

The education of girls and boys differed tremendously in the 19th century Charlotte will never go to school. However, she was not to be left in complete ignorance her parents have Miss Martha a gentlewoman to be her governess.
She will assist in the task of shaping Lady Charlotte into a docile, fashionable young woman ready to play by society's rules.
During Charlotte’s daily lessons with Miss M. she reads plays by Shakespeare and she learns to play the piano and sing Charlotte was very lucky as her mother believed that ladies should know about philosophy and history.
Most importantly, she learns the social graces that are so important for a girl of her class: decorum at balls, what is considered fashionable, etc.
Also, since it extremely important for girls of this time to have impeccable morals, Charlotte’s governess teaches her to make morally sound choices.
The goal is to make Charlotte a fashionable, socially savvy young woman who can have coherent conversations with potential suitors and other important aristocrats.

This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister.

I really thank you for your very kind comments the really do help me a lot and make sure that I am on the right track with the story. Should I continue with the historical notes? I feel that the explain essence of life at this time.

Next day I dressed again in a black lawn dress slightly more fitted so my corset was needed this infernal contraption as well as forcing my body into curves it didn’t really have the stiffness also made me walk and sit very erect.

Now also began my lessons in looking after and taking care of my complexion.
As Miss M told me, “Young ladies should take care of themselves. —Young ladies are delicate plants. They should take care of their health and their complexion.”
To this end I was shown how to make cold cream and also a wash for the face both of which I should use daily: It really came to me that there was so very much for me to learn and this was so very different to my previous life.

Today was also to be my first day of learning the piano; after a morning of embroidery and deportment that involved learning to stand, sit and walk as a lady should.

There followed lessons on household management and painting with watercolour paint more embroidery and etiquette – learning how a lady must act and behave.
My piano lesson consisted of getting used to the piano and starting to learn the scales, which I was expected to know in time for the next lesson.
I realised that I had so much to learn that my days would be full and as mama told me the mourning period was in a way beneficial as at the end I would be a confident young lady.

Saturday came and the funeral of my sibling today I was dressed in a floor length crape satin dress my undergarments were all of the softest silk. I was corseted as the dress was nipped at the waist and had a soft crinoline under to give it shape.
I dressed in my underclothes then my whalebone corset fitted now it was the time for the crinoline that was fastened around my waist. My dress was then lowered over my head and over the crinoline as Miss Martha fastened the hooks at the back my servant fitted my black silk shoes to me tying the satin ribbon around my ankles.
The hem of my dress was scalloped with black bows for a mourning dress it was quite pretty.
My hair was in ringlets with a bob at the back the ringlet’s framing my face. Then came the bonnet it was a stiff black satin bonnet with a wide brim that curved around my face the satin was frilled around this brim and tied under my chin with a broad black ribbon.
Finally black lace gloves and a black lace shawl fringed with tassels and I was pronounced ready to join mama.

Walking in the floor length dress was strange but I soon got used to it coupled to this the wide brim of my bonnet restricted my vision to the side it was most strange but once again I slowly got used to this.
I met mama and my aunt’s and uncle’s cousins and family friends in the hall.
I was afraid that someone would see through me and realise that I was not as I appeared – but no everyone saw what the expected to see Charlotte grieving for her twin brother.

Outside the carriages awaited the teams of horses were adorned with black plumes and black ribbons woven into their manes and tails.
There were six coaches all adorned with black plumes each drawn by a team of four horses and able to hold 6 people each.
At the head of the procession was the coach bearing my sisters body. The coffin was carried in a special Landau, which opened at the rear and had glass panels all around it too was drawn by a team of four resplendent black horses.

I was handed into the carriage after mama and two off my uncles accompanied mama and I.
Arranging the voluminous skirts was difficult but I followed mama’s lead and managed to tame them. The funeral procession set off and I was quietly weeping into my kerchief.
I found it a great release to be able to show my feeling because as a boy it simply was not the done thing to cry or show emotion that was the lot of girls and women. I could cry openly at the loss of my bright and beautiful twin.

It was a strange feeling attending what was my own funeral as I stood by the coffin and touched it saying my final good byes to my sister I fervently prayed that she would understand and forgive me.
At the very moment I offered my prayer a Chiffchaff that had somehow got into the small church warbled its simple song.
To my ears it sounded like “yes, yes,” repeated over and over when I removed my hand from the coffin the bird song ceased. To my tormented mind this was a sign from Charlotte that she did understand.

When at the graveside the coffin was lowered into the cold damp earth I fell apart my weeping was continuous. Mama took my hand in hers and whispered, “Strength child, strength” while giving my hand a gentle squeeze.
It was when I had to throw a handful of soil down onto the coffin that I really did realise that this was my life from now on – Charles George Arthur Grenford was gone and in his place stood Charlotte Alethea Grenford.

We returned to the hall and Miss Martha took me upstairs and got me ready for bed, as I was very overwrought.
As I was tucked up in my satin sheets tearfully I pledged, “Martha I promise that I will be diligent and learn my new life as fast and as perfectly as I can.” I was still weeping she gently stroked my brow telling me, “I know you will child but you have so much to learn and so much catching up to do – now sleep for tomorrow you start again on your journey!”

I had a fretful night sleep where Charlotte came to me and told me she really understood.
In my dreams I told her that I felt a coward by not doing my duty to my country.
She calmed me telling me that the path I had freely chosen would be a hard one as being a woman would not be easy but mama needed me I was all she had left.
The dream ended with Charlotte hugging me to her telling me to be strong and to look after our mother and she would watch over me from heaven.

The next morning I awoke refreshed and with a new will to be the best I could. Before Miss Martha arrived I already had washed and donned clean underclothes I had a simple dress laid out, it was made from muslin and of course was black it was cut in the Empire style with a broad satin bow fastening at the back.
I had already removed the rags from my hair and had styled it in a clumsy bun with my ringlets framing my face.
My main problem was that I simply couldn’t fasten the dress as it laced at the back I was about to call a servant when Miss Martha arrived.
She looked at me with a look of pleasure and pride saying, “Well Charlotte you have done exceedingly well the dress you have chosen is perfect for the day.”

At breakfast I recounted my dream and earnestly pledged again that I would be diligent in my new life. This seemed to please mama and Miss Martha.
And so my day started, after breakfast we attended church the same one where yesterday we had laid my dear brother too rest.
Now I had to refer to her, as my brother to imprint in my mind that I was now a girl – everything I would say and do would reinforce this.
Then it was back to embroidery, deportment, etiquette, piano practice and learning how to successfully complete my toilette; learning how to put my hair into different styles.

Monday and all the ingredients had arrived for Mother Boville to show us how to make the potion.
All the ingredients were dried and the apothecary now had a regular order for some of these while mama had arranged for others to be grown in the herb garden to give us a regular supply of ingredients.
A gig was sent to bring Mother Boville to the hall. When she arrived I was amazed at the reverence and circumspection that was shown to her as she had a powerful reputation as a medicine woman, a healer.
We went into a small scullery where there was a fire with a small range we were shown how to prepare the ingredients with me grinding them in the mortar and pestle then everything was simmered for an hour then bottled – this would last a week so I had to prepare this potion weekly.
I took my first drink of it once it had cooled – the taste was strange but not unpleasant – I had to take this morning and evening for the foreseeable future.

As Mother Boville left mama had the groom put a hamper of food on the gig and she told the old woman, “Soon we will be going to London I have left instructions that the housekeeper is to ensure that you are warm and comfortable.”
Mother Boville looked at mama saying, “You always were a kind maid even when young I thank you m’lady may god look after you and the young maid.” She nodded at me as she said that.

Then she took my hands into hers and I felt an amazing warmth emanating through her thin hands.
She was silent for a while then she looked at me saying, “You have chosen a hard path being a maid t’aint easy but you’ll succeed. You’ll marry and serve at the highest table in’t land.”
My mother gasped saying, “Surely you are wrong - she can never marry!” Mama was fixed with a steely gaze like a hawk locking onto its prey.
“M’lady this is what I see for the future of the maid - it is written.” Mother Boville rasped. I have never seen my mama look like she did when fixed by the stare of this old woman.

With that Mother Boville was helped into the gig by the groom and after thanking mama she left leaving a small but very confused party on the steps of the hall.
We went inside and a clearly shaken mother stammered to Miss Martha, “Surely the old woman must be wrong – Charlotte can never marry!”
Even my governess looked discomforted as she replied, “Ma’am have you ever known Mother Boville be wrong with her predictions?”
Mama shook her head in disbelief saying, “No -------- But.”
Miss Martha quietly said, “M’lady let us not concern ourselves over this just yet – let us see what life brings for Charlotte.”
I noticed that even after a week I was used to being referred to, as Charlotte and mama and Miss Martha were comfortable using my new name.

Mama then said that I would need my own ladies maid but I would have to be very careful not to let her see my male thing but that was for later after my visit to the castrati surgeon.

My days now were getting dressed with the help of Miss Martha until we could find a way to disguise my male bits. I was now quite good at doing my own hair putting it in damp rags nightly then styling the ringlets.

My lessons were continuing and I was applying myself as I promised. My embroidery was getting a lot better and many an evening I would sit quietly with mama chatting and doing our embroidery.
Also my skill at the piano was progressing apace it would seem that I had a natural talent for playing this instrument.
My singing was also quite good my voice was a soprano and crystal clear and as mama told me once I had my operation it would remain so.

And all the time we were preparing for the move to London, packing clothes and other essentials. Even though we were in mourning I had at least a dozen dresses the same number of skirts and blouse combinations two trunks of underclothes and accessories and mama informed me we would be buying more once we were settled at out house in the centre of London.

Finally the time came for us to take our landau for the 6 day journey to London. It had been arranged that we would be sleeping at friends houses on the way so for the first time I would be exposed to the scrutiny of people outside the family to all the world I was a 10 year old girl with auburn ringlets and stylish mourning garb.

The first house we stayed at had two sons of 11 and 12 it was here that I noticed the total difference in my life as they vied to impress me, tried to dance with me and quietly tried to touch my hand.
At first I was afraid that my secret would be discovered but no everyone saw me as who I was very quickly becoming namely Charlotte.

We arrived in London and moved into our town house. The very next day I dressed myself in a black crape empire style dress material had contrasting vertical bands of matt black crape and shiny black crepe and ended in a frill at my hemline my frilled drawers peeped out from under my skirt my shoes were soft leather with a small 1” heel.
I donned my cap and shawl as we were going to see the surgeon and mama and I left the house taking one of the new style chaise carriages.

We arrived at the surgeons and ushered into his presence. Mama explained what she wanted.
I was examined by the surgeon who was a very slender very old Italian his manner was friendly and professional.
Mama asked about my male appendage and she was assured that once the operation was carried out it would remain the size it was.
He suggested that instead of the open drawers I currently used which had an open crotch I now should use drawers that were closed so my secret would be safe.

Mama then told him that she didn’t want me to suffer too much pain so to that effect it was arranged that I would be given Laudanum to drink, which would numb the pain.
So tomorrow the surgeon would come to our house and perform the operation there and from tomorrow there would definitely be no going back – not that I wanted to I was quite happy with my new female life even after such a short while.

Historical Note: - Anaesthetics and pain control were in its infancy in the 1800’s. Often operations were carried out with the patient fully awake with a strip of leather tied into his mouth the stop the screams. It is said that surgeons of the day often stuffed their ears with cloth to help reduce the noise from the patient during the operation the unfortunate patient was held onto the table by the surgeon’s burly assistants.
Thomas Beddoes and James Watt carried out research into the use of Nitrous Oxide gas in the 1780’s by 1799 it was in use but this was still very new and infrequently used. Laudanum, which was a mixture of Opium and alcohol, was the commonest means of crude anaesthesia in the early 1800’s
Castration before puberty (or in its early stages) prevents a boy's larynx from being transformed by the effects of puberty. As a result, the vocal range of prepubescence (shared by both sexes) is largely retained, and the voice develops into adulthood in a unique way. Prepubescent castration for this purpose diminished greatly in the late 18th century and was made illegal in Italy in 1870.

Here are some Regency home made cosmetics – try them at your peril!
Cold Cream.
—Take 2 ozs. of oil of almonds, one half oz. of spermaceti, 2 ozs of white wax and one half pint of water; melt them in a new pipkin (small pot), and when all is melted, whip it till cold; then let it lay in a little rose water till you put it in pots.
Pommade de Seville a face wash.
[This simple application is much in request with the Spanish Ladies, for taking off the effects of the sun and to render the complexion brilliant.]
Take equal parts of lemon juice and white of eggs. Beat the whole together in a varnished earthen pipkin, and set on a slow fire. Stir the fluid with a wooden spoon till it has acquired the consistence of soft pomatum. Perfume it with some sweet essence, and, before you apply it, carefully wash the face with rice water.
Red Lip Gloss
“Into a clean copper pan put half a pound of fresh, unsalted butter, and two ounces of beeswax, let it melt over mild heat, add some ounces of rinsed, dried and squashed raisins, and one to three loth alkanna root, and let everything simmer gently for 10 minutes. Then pour it on a mounted piece of dense linen and let the liquid run off, and when it begins to cool, add a spoon of strong bitter orange flower water. Stir until it has completely cooled and keep it in a well-covered pot.”

This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister. I realise that the language of the time is difficult to read (and difficult to write) so I have done an amalgam of vernacular (probably not grammatically correct.)

I have to admit that I didn’t sleep well that night all the time I was wondering what the operation entailed and how much pain would there be?
Next morning instead of getting dressed I was told to stay in bed and a large tub was brought into my room, which left me wondering what this was for.

The surgeon arrived and watched the filling of the tub with hot water. Then mama arrived and told me to undress and enter the tub. The surgeon then laid out his instruments and produced a dark green bottle, which contained the laudanum.
As I rested in the hot bath mama gave me a draught of the laudanum and things became fuzzy.

The surgeon was kneading between my legs encouraging my still undeveloped testicles to present themselves. Miss Martha entered the room carrying a bowl of ice which mama had purchased from the ice merchants
But now things were very fuzzy I was floating. The surgeon lifted me out of the bath lay me on the floor then I felt a dull pain then a sharp pain then nothing as I passed out.

When I awoke I was back in the tub everything was still fuzzy I was surrounded by a delightful haze. I felt cold around my groin and I could smell vinegar.
It appeared that my groin area was packed with the ice Miss Martha had brought in and my wound was bandaged with clean cloths soaked in vinegar.

I was removed from the bath and my groin was dried then vinegar was applied which stung a little even through the haze that surrounded me then my wound was dressed. Miss M slipped a light blue cotton nightdress onto me and I was put to bed.

Through my opium assisted haze I heard the surgeon tell mama to make sure that the dressing are changed daily use vinegar to keep infection at bay and look out for swelling and pus he also said that he would return in a week.
He told mama to reduce my dose’s of laudanum so I wouldn’t depend on it then he departed.

Mama sat by the bed quietly weeping stroking my brow I reached up and took her hand holding it to my cheek, “Oh my poor child.” She wept, “What have I done to you?”
Through the fug of the laudanum I answered, “You have made me into Charlotte and for that I thank you as I can now remain with you.”
Why I said those words I simply don’t know - but I did know that I really meant what I had just said.

After the first day I recovered quite fast the surgeon came back the following week and removed two small silk stitches on each of my wounds.
There was always someone with me to help me to the commode and watch out in case I became ill.
As at times servants attended me I always wore closed drawers and when using the commode made sure that I was alone.

Now the stitches had been removed and the surgeon was happy that there was no infection I was allowed to get out of bed and move about.
Even while I was recovering my lessons continued mainly in embroidery etiquette and household management.

My embroidery was coming on a pace and once the fuzzy feeling of the laudanum had gone I was finally clear headed and determined to be the best daughter I could.
Finally after three long weeks I was fully healed and allowed to get dressed and accompany mama to visit some friends for tea.

I was so thrilled to be able to go out I simply couldn’t wait – of course we were still in mourning but as a young girl I could now wear colours other than black but these had to be dark so no pastel shades for me just yet.
The dress that was selected for me was to my eyes beautiful it was a dark lilac empire line silk dress which came to mid calf it had a high neckline the bodice gathered under my non existent breasts but the sash just below my chest gave the illusion of breasts.

The dress had frills all around the bodice and more around the hem the sleeves, which reached to my wrists were of a delightful opaque fabric so my slender arms could be vaguely seen.
My corset gave me some shape but for a ten-year-old girl I was not expected to have much shape but to be slender delicate – I was getting slender and slowly becoming more delicate in my actions.

My dress had a matching bonnet in the same dark lilac colour it had a hard cap to enclose my hair in a bun with a large peak that extended about 4” past my face my ringlets framed my face.
The whole of the bonnet had frills and the inside had a while satin lining also frilled. The wide satin ribbon fastened under my chin and slightly to the side is a big bow.

To me after the drabness of mourning black crape this dress looked so beautiful and once dressed I swished back and forth loving the soft feel of the fabric moving with me.
As it was now late November I had a brown velvet and fur cloak with a matching muff to keep my fingers warm. I absolutely adored the finished look these clothes gave me.

When I went downstairs mama looked critically at me commenting, “Charlotte dear that dress really suits you – now remember your etiquette lessons and remember that a young lady should be seen and not heard.
Not to talk when in the presence of elders unless you are asked a specific question and keep a pleasant demeanour even though you may find someone ill mannered!”

“Yes mama” I answered “I will make you proud of me and remember what you have taught me.”
Mother smiled gently at me saying, “I am already proud of you my darling daughter you have gone through so much for my selfish self.”

I was upset at this and answered, “Mama please do not say these things I wanted to do this for me as well as you – I am so very happy that you are proud of me.”
She smiled sweetly at me and as the servant opened the door commented, “For one so young you are wise beyond your years.”

The carriage was waiting for us and as was the custom mama was handed into the carriage first then it was my turn the Tiger handed me into the carriage he was a nice looking boy of about 13 taller than me and stronger too.
It was the first time this had happened to me and I felt thrilled to be looked upon and treat like a lady of quality.
After I was seated he fussed about putting the blankets over our knees and making sure that the two of us had a warming stone for our feet.

As the carriage rattled through the streets of London I was drinking in the sights, sounds and the smells (which were rank) as all this was new to me.
Mama pointed out different thins to me and promised that one Saturday we would visit the Vauxhall gardens for me to experience the entertainment available there but this would be difficult as we were still in mourning.

We arrived at the address of mama’s friend and once again the Tiger fussed about removing the blankets covering our knees then handing us out of the carriage.
This time I left first with mama following the wind was cold and I thankfully snuggled into the fur collar of my cloak.
The front door was opened and the butler ushered us in mama put her calling card onto the silver tray and it was not long before we were ushered into the drawing room.

In the room were half a dozen women of a similar age to mama there were two other girls who I judged to be slightly older than myself. Mama introduced me to the ladies.
The girls mother’s Lady Ffinch and Lady Beaufort then introduced their daughters to mama and I (Annabelle and Clarissa) it was indicated that I was to sit with the girls slightly to one side of the adults but not so far away so the ladies could ask us questions.

Refreshments were served with us three girls getting a cordial while the elders had tea the hostess showed with pride her new tea set that a Mr Wedgewood now produced apparently the new style was for the tea bowls to have handles where as before there were none.

While the adults were gossiping about the latest scandal we girls listened intently to the exploits of Lady such and such who had been see with Sir such and such.
I had a feeling that this afternoon was something like a test for me. The taking of tea was quite a ritual and we three girls sitting with glasses of cordial talking quietly to each other so as not to disturb the adults.
Of course the adults asked is some questions but on the whole we were on display – yes that is what we were.

After tea Clarissa who was sitting with me was asked to play the piano while Annabelle went to the harp to accompany her. Mama then looked at me saying, ”Charlotte would you please accompany the girls and sing.” Now this wasn’t a request - this was an order from mama I had no option.

Feebly I questioned, “Are you sure that I am good enough mama?” For which I received the answer I dreaded, “Of course my dear your voice is perfectly adequate.”
My fate was sealed with a rustle of silk and satin I stood up and made my way over to stand behind Clarissa so I could read the words.

Most of the popular songs I knew the tunes but not all of the words so as I prepared myself hands demurely clasped in front of me Clarissa began to play the popular song ‘Betsy Bell and Mary Grey’ Modern Version followed by “My Hearts in the Highlands’. Authentic modern version

I soon forgot that I was on trial and immersed myself in the music my two companions were accomplished musicians and I must admit that the three of us sounded really good.
In between songs Clarissa played a selection of Keyboard Sonata’s to give my voice respite then it was back to singing.

After an hour we stopped and were roundly applauded our music was deemed to be exceedingly good. The three of us were so proud I glanced at mama and could read the pride in her face.
Annabelle and Clarissa were being taken to the Vauxhall tea garden this coming Saturday and mama was asked if we would like to join the party then it was realised that with mama still in full mourning this was not the done thing – but I could go accompanied by Clarissa and Annabelle’s mothers as chaperones I was so thrilled at this.

Finally it was time for us to return home our carriage was summoned and we said our goodbyes even though Annabelle, Clarissa and I had exchanged no more than two dozen words I felt a deep friendship was forming.
As we left the Lady of the House complimented me on my voice and hoped that the three of us would perform music together again.
Poor Clarissa blurted out, “Oh yes please mama Charlotte, Annabelle and I are perfect together.” She got a severe glare for this outburst from Lady Beaufort her mother.
Annabelle and I gave her a look of comfort and quietly voiced our agreement with her (as young girls should we had to be demure not impulsive).
As I got to know Clarissa better I found that she was an impetuous, giving and very friendly girl.

Outside it was cold and I snuggled into the warmth of my velvet and fur cloak. The Tiger handed mama into the coach then I was similarly handed into the coach again he fussed around us making sure that the rugs were tucked around our knees and a warming stone placed beneath our feet then closing the carriage door he returned to his place.

As our carriage clattered off back home mama addressed me, “Charlotte I simply cannot express to you how proud I was of you today. You behaved impeccably like the young lady you will soon become.” I blushed crimson at the heart felt compliment and managed to answer, “I promised that I would become a daughter to be proud of.”
“My Child” mama said quietly, “You have had such a short time and this life we have chosen is so very different from what you would have had!”

I gave a very un-lady like snort, “Charlotte really manners!” mama snapped.
Contritely I whispered, “Sorry mama.”
Then in a stronger voice I continued, “The life I left would have had me dead by the time I was 15, I freely admit I’m a coward so it is better that I live as a girl.”

Mama looked at me steadily and thoughtfully finally saying, “You are no coward my dear the path we have chosen will be hard for you. As an unmarried woman a spinster you will be the target of sadness that such a pretty girl was not married. My darling Charlotte you will find it so very hard.”

“Mama” I piped up, “Mother Boville said I would wed!” My mother looked at me sadly whispering, “It is something that I dream of – but darling I cannot see how you can ever be married.”
With this we arrived back home and the carriage rattled to a halt the Tiger handed us both off the carriage and I was sure that he held onto my hand a fraction longer than necessary.
Huddled against the cold we entered the house.

Historical Note: Sutures had been commonly used for centuries but it was only in the 18th century that doctors realised that infection could be introduced using sutures, so with large wounds the general practice was to pack then with a lint like material to let them drain.
The surgeons who only worked on the castrati knew that the boys were special and as such their techniques for castration was now an art form. They fully understood the need for maintaining a clean wound and in 1800 vinegar was the best they had available this remained the case until the 1840 when carbolic was discovered. The sutures used on Charlotte were thin silk thread soaked in vinegar.

The ‘Tiger’ this was a cute young groom chosen for his good looks by the Lady of the house they were usually about 10 to 13 years old. He was called the Tiger because of the yellow and black livery they always wore they sat at the back of the carriage.
The scent of London! In larger urban areas, the streets smelled of a mixture of animal dung, human feces and rotting plant matter. If you ever wondered where the gentlemanly tradition of the man walking on the outside arose, look no further; of course, it was also in part to protect his “lady” from water splashes from passing carriages. When you next watch a movie where a man gallantly throws his cape across the ground for his lady to pass – remember: it may not be a puddle he is covering.
This is the reason that the season was from April until July as during summer the stench was so great Parliament sat from January to July for the same reason. This was finally cures when the London Sewers were built in the mid 1800’s these are still in use today.

This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister. I realise that the language of the time is difficult to read (and difficult to write) so I have done an amalgam of vernacular (probably not grammatically correct.)
I know this story has a slow build up but I want the build the character the story starts moving in a few chapters time but I would appreciate your comments to ensure that I'm on the right track.

When we got home I was sent to change out of my dress and don a more suitable gown for indoors.
In my bedroom I selected a Grecian style muslin dress in a dark green – as I could now wear colours other than black I was determined to do so. Anna my maid then fastened me into my dress and while I was down stairs with mama she put away the dress I had just taken off.

My ladies maid was called Anna she was came from near a village where Grenford Hall was.
She was a chubby friendly girl open and honest and this was her first job as a ladies maid and I could tell she was so happy.
In reality this was my first ladies maid so we were both learning together which I believe cemented our closeness.
It was not the done thing for a girl of my breeding to be friends with someone of lower class but a close working friendship was allowed – just don’t ask me what the difference was.

When I arrived in the drawing room mama had also changed into a black silk gown of the Empire style Miss M was already there and mama was telling her about my singing I was so proud. It had already been 3 months of my new life and I was so very comfortable.
I picked up my embroidery and sat quietly concentrating on my stitches but also listening intently to the gossip and scandal mother was imparting to Miss M.

The days passed oh so slowly as I simply was so excited about this coming Saturday my lessons continued and at my pleading with mama I also started taking lessons in the Harp which was a beautiful instrument to look at and to listen to but it was difficult to learn.

My days were now so very full and I absorbed all this new knowledge like a sponge becoming more and more lady like as the days progressed and I was still worrying about what to wear on Saturday and wondering what my new friends would be wearing.

I was being picked up at lunchtime on Saturday the day would last until well into the evening so as we could see all the famous Vauxhall Tea gardens had to offer.
Saturday dawned a bright but cold day with frost but at least it was fine.
With mama’ s help I had a dress in mind

My dress was made from heavy silk fabric in a shade of bottle green it fell to just below my knees and had a soft crinoline to give it shape.
The bodice was fitted with a high waist which meant that I would be suitably corseted the shoulders ended in a puffball and the silk sleeves reached to my wrists.
Starting at the shoulders and continuing over the bust line were a design of flowers in the same green silk as my dress these joined at my waist and continued to the hem of my dress.
My broderie anglaise frilled pantaloons peeped out from beneath the hem of my dress as was the fashion and my knitted stockings completed my outfit.
Being winter my footwear consisted of black soft leather ankle boots that buttoned up the side and had a small 1” heel.
I had a cloak to match my dress and a bonnet this covered my bun but allowed my ringlets to frame my face.
My matching hand muff was lined with fur and was exceedingly warm and hung from my neck on a silken cord.

Mama gave me a small black velvet reticule that contained some of mama’s visiting cards (should I need them) a kerchief and a vinaigrette that was filled with sweet smelling perfume to mask any nasty street smells.
She inspected me from top to toe and announced that I was ready for my trip out.

There was a knock on our door and when the butler opened it there stood the Tiger of Lady Beaufort.
Mama took a final look at me and said; “Now Charlotte enjoy yourself but remember you are a young lady of breeding and should behave so.”
“Yes mama I will remember” I said somewhat chastely but inside I was bubbling with excitement.

Carefully I walked to the coach and was handed in by the Tiger who as is usual put a warming stone under my feet while Clarissa shared her blanket with me then we were off.
Us three girls were sat across from Lady Ffinch and Lady Beaufort both of whom were smiling indulgently at our girlish chatter we commented on everything we saw from the street performers to the mob of people that made London the greatest city in the world.

Some of the areas we passed through really stank of sewage as night waste was simply thrown into the street to be picked up by the night waste wagon this was taken outside the city to fertilise the crops. I understood why mama had placed the vinaigrette in my reticule.

As our carriage turned into Vauxhall Walk we could glimpse the gardens and our chatter went up in volume. Lady Beaufort chided us saying, “Girls remember that you are young ladies please behave as such!”
This calmed us down a bit. The coach made it’s was down Vauxhall Walk and pulled up at the entrance to the gardens.
We were handed out of the carriage and the groom paid the fee to allow us to enter the gardens. As we entered we ordered supper, which was served from 5pm in winter and 9pm in summer.
Supper was served in the supper boxes that surrounded the grove each one had a different style of painting. You were allocated a painting to your party. We being a party of Ladies of quality were given the Three Graces box.

We started promenading around the gardens us young girls scampering ahead of our chaperones – but not too far ahead drinking in the sights sounds and scents of the pleasure garden.

There were scented gardens even in winter! Beautiful fountains wonderful building and then there were the people. Oh the people all promenading like we were as it was fashionable to be seen here.
Us three girls drank in the fashionable attire of the ladies and discussed in detail the differing styles.

Occasionally our chaperones would stop to talk to people we girls were introduced then we stood demurely by the Ladies ignoring the winks and come on looks of the young men of fashion.

Even though I now thought of myself as a girl and acted as a girl it was not until I received looks of interest from young men that I realised exactly what was special about being female!

We retired to our box about 4pm shortly after a whistle sounded for lamp-lighters to hurry to their allotted stations around the Grove; at a second whistle, they would light cotton-wool fuses which had been set up during the day to guide the flame from one oil-lamp to another; in this way, thousands of lamps could be lit in an instant!
The Ohh’s and Ahh’s of the assembled crowds was truly heart felt to us girls seeing this for the first time it was like a miracle.

Then we ate the meal consisted thinly-carved cold meats and salads, pastries and cakes, as well as wines, beers, ciders and punch, all served by well-trained and speedy waiters. As we ate we listened to the entertainers There was a Mrs Maria Theresa Bland who was a sweet-voiced but dumpy little ballad singer.
Another entertainer was a Mr Charles Dignum a pleasing tenor.

All too soon it was time to go home Lady Beaufort got a messenger to send for her carriage and once again we were handed into the dark interior.
Us three girls were in awe at what we had just experienced and the excitement could be seen on our faces in the dim light radiated from the outside lights of the carriage.

I was taken home first and after thanking Lady Beaufort and Lady Ffinch profusely I was escorted to the door by the Tiger bubbling with excitement at the splendid day I had just experienced.

Mama was in the drawing room with Miss M as I bounded in. “Charlotte a young lady is always light on her feet.
Now please go and remove your cape and bonnet then return in the manner befitting a young lady.”
Totally chastised I demurely answered, “Yes Mama sorry mama.” Retiring to the hall to remove my cloak bonnet and muff Anna appeared from somewhere as said, “Shall I take these to your room Miss?”
I smiled appreciatively at her and nodded adding, “I should not be too long before I come upstairs Anna” she bobbed a curtsy and went upstairs with my outer clothes.

I composed myself and with my hands clasped demurely in front of me I re-entered the drawing room.
Mama looked at me saying, “Far better Charlotte you really must remember that a young lady is always demure – no matter how excited she gets.”
“Yes mama sorry mama” I answered then mother looked kindly at me saying, “Now tell me about your day my love – I assume that this was why you forgot yourself.”

My excitement resurfaced as I recounted the day and all that I had seen every so often either mama or Miss M would tell me not to babble speak clearly. But eventually my story was told.
As the excitement left me I gave an almighty yawn. Mama sighed saying, “Off to bed with you young lady you have had enough excitement for one day.”

I stood and gave mama a kiss thanking her for letting me go to the gardens. Then saying goodnight to Miss M I went upstairs to where Anna waited.
I apologised for being later than I said I would be and as soon as she had unfastened my dress and hung it in the wardrobe I dismissed her bidding her goodnight.
Anna bobbed a curtsy to me wishing me goodnight then she left me to finish getting ready for bed.
This was unusual to undress yourself as the ladies maid usually attended to her mistresses needs but with my special circumstances I never let Anna see me fully naked.

The next morning Anna awoke me asking which dress I wanted laying out I decided on a deep purple dress that dropped just below my knees. She laid out my dress and underclothes and left until I rang for her.
Getting out of bed I washed and clad myself in my chemise, pantaloons and stockings then I rang for Anna to come and fasten my corset and dress for me then she tied my shoes around my ankles and pulled my hair into a bun fastening it with tortoise shell combs with my ringlets to either side of my face.

“Thank you Anna” I told her kindly remembering what mama always told me that a lady of quality should not speak down to those who cannot answer back.
Mama also said that politeness cost nothing only a brute is rude – this was to shape my outlook on life.

And so my new life continued I diligently learned all about being a lady how to act towards others. Weekly we either went to tea with Lady Beaufort and Ffinch.
Of course Clarissa and Annabelle were there now w knew each other we were left alone to embroider or read and simply talk.

As I thought; the first time we went for tea I was on display and on trial luckily it was deemed that I was suitable to be friends with Clarissa and Annabelle, which I was really happy about.
As mama was in mourning the Ladies took me to different places to the theatre again to the pleasure garden and to see the Royal Family when they were attending the theatre. As the King George III passed we deeply curtsied it was such a thrill to actually see him.

The year 1802 came in quietly for us my education and training carried on, I was now 10 years old and happy in my new life I was in effect becoming the perfect young lady of quality.

Mama was a very progressive lady, as she made sure that I was educated in music, art, and literature like the young ladies on the continent were.
By the end of 1802 I was a well-behaved young lady.
Mama taught me the language of the fan emphasizing that I must only use this as I got older. But knowing that it would help me when we went to Balls to see how society worked.
As a lady had to be very circumspect and unable to strike up a conversation with men this language of the fan came into fashion but a Lady should ensure that only the object of her desire read the signals.

Fan fast--I am independent
Fan slow--I am engaged
Fan with right hand in front of face--Come on
Fan with left hand in front of face--Leave me
Fan open and shut--Kiss me
Fan open wide--Love
Fan half open--Friendship
Fan shut--Hate
Fan swinging--Can you see me home?

As you can see a lady had to be very careful when using the fan as the wrong signals could easily be sent.

Also I was taught the meaning of different gems and gemstones as this would come in useful should a suitor send me gifts. I think mama expected me to have suitors but she certainly did not expect me to marry – I well I could still dream even though I knew I would never wed I certainly hoped that I would.

Amethyst - Peace of mind..
Bloodstone - I mourn your absence..
Diamond - Maintains concord between husband and wife,
Emerald - Success in love an emblem of chastity.
Ruby - A cheerful mind preservative of health.
Sapphire - Chastity Prevents impure thoughts.
Topaz - Fidelity. Calms the passions.
Turquoise - Success and happiness.
Garnet - Fidelity in every engagement.
Onyx - Reciprocal love.
Opal - Pure thoughts.
Pearl - Purity and innocence.

The things I had to learn as a woman were exceeding strange and varied but I absorbed everything, as a good daughter should.

Historic Note: - Needle work: their mother or governess usually trained Young ladies of the Regency period in some sort of craft or needlework.
Indeed, they often possessed fancy workboxes or bags into which went the needles, threads, and the other implements for “Genteel Females” to use.
It was amazing all it could hold. It was the receptacle for the much-worked-on sampler, a labor on which many young girls practiced cross stitch and other kinds of stitches. Some samplers were worked in wool thread. Many of the samplers were worked in colorful silk threads. Most had the alphabet with a motto or verse, initials and date of embroidery on them. These samplers were most often a way for a girl to show she had learned her stitches.
The Vauxhall Pleasure Gardens (also known as Spring Gardens) were opened by the Tyers family in 1661 and reached the height of their popularity in the early 1800s, with 20,000 visiting on one night in 1826. Their winning formula combined music, illuminated fountains, fireworks and light refreshments in an Eden-like atmosphere. The gardens originally combined genteel areas (where orchestras played and visitors promenaded in their finery) and 'dark walks' where couples could enjoy each other's company in some privacy - if not in comfort. This combination took some policing, and the Tyers employed their own policemen, probably the first organised police force in London.
There is no modern equivalent of Vauxhall Gardens, and public attitudes and appetites have altered so fundamentally since the 18th century that it would be impossible to recreate it as anything except a historical curiosity today.
Aspects of Vauxhall reappear in arts festivals, musical events and holiday resorts today, but these are isolated features, which can convey nothing of the magic of an evening's outing there in the 1750’s to the 1850’s
The closest equivalent in modern times is the partnership of Architect Mark Fisher and engineer Jonathan Park, in their extraordinary collaborations with Roger Waters and Gerald Scarfe for the astonishing rock concerts of the Pink Floyd's The Wall tours (World Tour 1980-81, and its revival in Berlin, 1990)
In their combination of avant-garde design, first-rate contemporary music, dramatic atmosphere and illuminations, and pure escapism, they replicate something of the thrill of the Vauxhall evening and of the sensory dream-world that Vauxhall represented.

This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister.

It was now the summer of 1802 and the Treaty of Amiens had been signed and my second brother Edward was coming home as part of this treaty.
When he arrived we were all shocked at his appearance he had changed so very much.
Originally we had been told that he had lost a leg and was an imbecile. However when he got out of the carriage he had both his legs but was missing his right arm below the elbow and the right side of his face was horribly scared and he was blind in his right eye.
Apart from these monumental changes he was gaunt and grey looking apparently having suffered from prison fever. And much to our relief he most certainly not an imbecile.
The last time I has set eyes on Edward was just over three years ago even at 14 he was a bluff stocky lad with a devil may care attitude. He had always been a sensitive boy with a love of music and an accomplished artist.

When he descended from the carriage mama and I were stood waiting for him I was dresses in a pale lilac lawn Empire style dress with a round collar and loose sleeved that fell in delicate pleats around my wrists. I had silver silk stockings and my white pantaloons peeped out from beneath my dress.

As he stood there mama walked and hugged him close tears leaking from her eyes she managed to stammer, “My dearest son, welcome home thank god you are home and safe.”
As they hugged Edward tried to stop mama from kissing his ravaged face but mama was having none of it and gently kissed the scared and ruined face then she gently stroked the scars saying, “Edward do not be ashamed of your scars be proud of them you did your duty for your country.”

She stepped back addressed me saying, “Charlotte come and welcome your brother.” I was not as restrained as mama I rushed forward and flung myself on my brother taking lead from mama I kissed all his face.
He managed to withstand my assault and stood back remarking, “Dear Charlotte as impetuous as ever – and even more pretty than I remember.”

I blushed at this remark and stood slightly back from him; again the picture of a demure young lady. Edward looked at mama tenderly saying, “Thank you mama for not hating me for what I have become. Now where is Charles?”

Mama gasped and glanced at me to my mind the warm summer day had just turned colder. “You did not receive my letter Edward?”
My brother shook his head so mama recounted how Charles had died from the fever.

I felt wretched standing there listening to this untruth but this was how it must be. A tear leaked from his good eye but his response shook us all, “Perhaps it was for the best mama as he would have only have been sacrificed on the alter of this bloody war!”
He looked at me and continued, “You do not know how lucky you are to be born a girl sweet Charlotte you will never see the scenes such as I have seen.”

Mama protested, “But the wars over Edward the treaty has been signed.”
My brother gave mama his gentle smile answering, “Dear mama the treaty will not last Monsieur Bonaparte has great ambitions. England will have to fight again.”

So my brother was returned and was far from being an imbecile, which was good. But he had changed he now realised the fruitlessness of war and he hated the sound of gunfire. But as was his destiny he would do his duty for his country in any capacity he could.
When we held shooting parties he begged off attending saying he could no longer handle a gun or see to aim but he still entertained the parties and I am so happy to recount that heeding mama’s words he slowly ignored his ravaged face.

Edward was correct the treaty broke in 1803 and once again England was at war.
Shortly after the war recommenced I was doing my lessons with Miss M glancing in her direction I surreptitiously rubbed at my chest, which had been itching for a few weeks and now was driving me to distraction.
“Charlotte stop fidgeting a lady does not fidget.” Miss M snapped at me. “But Miss Martha my chest is itching it is driving me to distraction” I whined.
She looked sharply at me and putting down her embroidery said, “Come Charlotte to your room let me look at your chest.”

I stood and followed Miss M upstairs to my room. Once these she unfastened me from my dress then corset and told me to remove my chemise.
As I stood there dressed only in pantaloons stockings and shoes she gently felt my chest. As she touched my nipple it hardened and a gasp escaped my lips.
She looked sharply at me saying, “Tender Charlotte?” I nodded afraid of what she had found.
Miss M then rang for Anna and when she arrived told her to fetch mama.
Now I was anxious and pleaded, “Miss Martha please tell me what is wrong – am I ill?”
“No Child but I need your mama to check what I think is happening.”
I was so very worried that something horrible was happening I fidgeted from one foot to the other until Miss M chastised me again for fidgeting.
Finally mama arrived and looking at the tableau before her asked, “Whatever is the matter Martha?”
“Miss Charlotte’s chest is itching and she thinks she has a terrible ailment.” Miss M replied with a slight smile.
Mama came over to me and inspected my chest again it was gently massaged and again my nipple hardened and once again a gasp escaped my lips.

Mama stood back with a smile telling me, “You are not dying dear child; all that is happening is that your breasts are starting to grow it would appear that Mother Boville’s potion is indeed working.”
I was absolutely thrilled Mama and Miss M inspected my body and pronounced that my hips waist and derriere were definitely becoming more feminine they also inspected my male bit and decided that it was the same size as it was before my operation.
Then mama noticed that I was wearing split leg pantaloons and commented, “I thought you were told to wear joined up pantaloons Charlotte?”
I blushed at being caught out and feebly protested, “But mama they are more comfortable in summer.”
Mama nodded her agreement then cautioned me, “Be very careful Charlotte that no ones ever sees what you have ‘down there’ it would be our undoing especially should you wear a crinoline as the wind does catch them very easily.”

I dressed and being absolutely thrilled went down to resume my lessons I simply couldn’t wait to tell Annabelle and Clarissa my news because they being a year older than I already had small breasts!

Things carried on with my education, we spent the Christmas of 1804/5 with Lady Beaufort at their stately hall; of course Lady Ffinch was there so we three girls were together for a whole month.

Every day we either went riding took carriage rides or played our music. Now we were used to each other we really sounded exceedingly pleasant.
Lord’s Beaufort and Ffinch of course were there along with the sons of the household.
Edward was there and spent many hours talking to Lord Beaufort who suggested that Edward should go into public life even at such a young age.

There were five boys with us three were Lady Beaufort’s sons while the remaining were the sons of Lady Ffinch
So Clarissa’s brothers were Benjamin (18) Philip (17) and Henry (15) while Annabelle’s brothers were Reggie (19) and William (17)

All of them were in the army Benjamin and Philip were in their fathers old Regiment the Household Cavalry Dragoon Guards. Henry however was in the Light Dragoon Guards that had recently been renamed the Hussars.
Annabelle’s brother Reggie however was in the First Regiment of Foot Guards while William as in the 95th Regiment of Foot Guards. To my young eyes they were all very dashing and very handsome.

Every night we dressed with care dressing for supper now that mama was out of mourning she could wear colours other than black and for the first time since I started living as a girl mama bloomed in pretty pastel colours, wonderful gold’s and silver’s I was dazzled.
Of course I now could wear any colour that I wanted and I really loved this I adored beautiful dresses and fabrics especially satin, silk and brocades.

After supper the men retired to the smoking room while we women and girls to the drawing room.
Then later we reunited and us girls entertained the assembled friends and family with our music.

We played parlour games the boys showed their bravery by playing Snapdragon where raisins were placed into a bowl of heated sherry then this was set on fire and the boys (and men) tried to pick raisins out!
We all played Bouts-Rimees – a rhyming game. Players would have to come up with impromptu rhymes. There was a list of rhyming words, and each player would have to come up with a verse to go with the words.
And Shades – simply having a person sit with a candle outlining their profile – casting a shadow onto a blank piece of paper. The other player would then trace their profile. This was funny depending the shapes of the shadows and if a person was making a funny face.

It was a time of fun and innocence and also a time when I discovered that I had my first admirer! This was Annabelle’s brother William.
I discovered this when we three were playing a game of Bouts-Rimees we had a choice of word with which to make a rhyme up with Clarissa had the word ‘dove’
Annabelle’s word was ‘bower’.
I had just finished my rhyme now it was Clarissa’s turn – with a smile at me she began:
“Charlotte a pretty innocent dove
Does not realise that William’s in love.”

I gasped at this but before I could say anything Annabelle started her rhyme.

“Sweet Charlotte is sitting in her bower
While William watches her his beautiful flower.”

I blushed a bright crimson and stammered, “H,h,h, he: B,b, but: I mean Oh you surely joke with me.”
They both giggled at my discomfort finally Clarissa said, “Charlotte dear just look at the way he gazes at you!”
Annabelle added, “He is totally smitten with you and you do not even realise it!”
“Oh my” I gasped “Surely not, you must be wrong.” They both shook their heads Clarissa saying, “Charlotte we are older than you we know the signs!”

This gave me an opening I retorted, “But you are only a year older.” Annabelle answered, “Yes but we know – Charlotte simply glance his way when we are in his company and you too will see.”

“B, b, b, but what do I do?” I asked in a slight panic. Clarissa gave me a smile saying, “Simply acknowledge his presence this will make him happy and when we are out riding try to position your horse by him so you can converse.”
Annabelle added, “And dance with him if he asks!”

“But what will mama say?” I managed to say. It was Annabelle who answered this, “Your mama is very modern in her thinking as long as you are never alone with William your mama will not mind – it is a natural event enjoy the feeling I know I did.”

I gasped at this, “You have had an admirer Annabelle? Who? When?” I gasped in surprise.
This got us gossiping again and I discovered that Clarissa had also had an admirer and as she put it, ”Even my mama was not discomforted so your mama certainly will not disapprove.”

I was in two minds about William; I was thrilled that he found me attractive but still even though on the outside and mainly in my mind I was a girl – there was still my secret.
I dressed with care for supper the dress I selected was a satin gown finishing just above my ankles it was pale lemon in colour with a high waist which made my budding breasts show quite nicely but not too excessive. It had a rounded neckline showing some of my creamy shoulders and short puff sleeves.
There were pastel flowers in the satin and the hem was decorated with handmade satin flowers of a similar hue to the ones woven into the fabric. What finished the outfit long satin gloves finishing above my elbows but not meeting the puff sleeves of my gown.
Anna styled my hair in a Grecian style fastened with two tortoise shell combs and ringlets cascading down.

Mama came and inspected me making sure that my dress was appropriate for a 13 year old young lady.
Then we went for supper meeting the others in the salon.
Clarissa and Annabelle were already there so I naturally joined them and the rest of the young people. Clarissa looked at my dress and whispered, “So you are interested Charlotte?” I blushed and Annabelle gave a tinkling laugh.

I decided to take the bull by the horns and as I looked around the room I locked eyes with William who was looking at me.
As our eyes met he blushed and looked down I kept on looking at him and the look of pleasure on his face when he looked up was something to behold.
I smiled a gentle smile at him and watched interestedly as he straightened up and returned my smile.

My attention returned to my girl friends Clarissa looked at me saying, “That was nicely done Charlotte. Oh he’s coming over to us.”
My tummy fluttered at this and I sensed him standing close by us. “Annabelle, you have not introduce me to your friends.” He had a voice that was twixt between man and boy.

I turned to look at him and found him quite good looking close up. Annabelle smiled at her brother and introduced Clarissa. He bowed Clarissa give a small curtsy held out her hand and William gallantly kissed it.
Then she introduced myself and I did the same not taking my eyes off him. He kissed my hand holding onto me slightly longer than necessary saying, “Enchanted to make your acquaintance Charlotte.”

I retrieved my hand and managed to answer, “The pleasure is mine sir.” The look he was giving me made me realise the power a girl has – he seemed that he would do anything for me.

Historical Note: - Courtship was not as relaxed as it is these days! A girl was under her mother's wing for the first few years of her social life. She used her mother's visiting cards.
This same person (In Charlotte’s case this was her mother or Miss M) usually served as her chaperone.
As a single girl was never allowed out of the house by herself - especially in mixed company.
Courtship advanced by gradations, with couples first speaking, then walking out together, and finally keeping company after mutual attraction had been confirmed. But a gentleman had to take care in the early stages of courtship. If he was introduced to a lady at a party for the purpose for dancing, he could not automatically resume their acquaintance on the street. He had to be re-introduced by a mutual friend.
Nineteenth century social etiquette required girls to uphold a rigorous standard of beauty, poise and excellence, particularly for those from wealthy and prestigious families.
Years of training, refining and practice helped well-to-do girls learn proper behavior applicable to various social situations. Social expectations in the 1800s led many upper class girls to strive for absolute perfection in their style of dress, social network and educational options.
Working class girls of this era generally did not have the financial resources or time to dedicate to learning such standards.

This is a story set in the 1800’s about a family that has lost every family member except the youngest son and his twin sister. Then his sister dies of smallpox and he manages to persuade his mother to let him become his deceased sister.

After this introduction William and I were always seen together but we both ensured that we were never alone apart from the others yes but not alone.

Others watched with amused condescension as our friendship blossomed when we went riding ha always rode by my side I sat sidesaddle as a young Lady must so I was facing William who was not good at horse riding.
He joked that this was the reason that he chose the Foot Regiment’s as there were not so many horses involved.

He was an Second Lieutenant in the 95th Rifles, which were nicknamed ‘The Grasshoppers’ due to their green uniform and the fact that they always ranged ahead of the advancing battalion’s of red coats acting at the armies eyes and ears. William also told me that they used the Baker Rifle which he assured me was far superior to the Brown Bess.

What all this meant I had not a clue as I had long forgotten things such as these but what I did know was I enjoyed Williams company and being the centre of his world.
Mama of course noticed and tacitly allowed our friendship to blossom although she continually lectured me as to the correct behaviour I must maintain.

Clarissa and Annabelle teased me unmercifully but it was all in really good nature with Annabelle warning me that William was truly smitten by me – this really thrilled me.
What was William like – remember he was 17 nearly 18 years old he was a broad shouldered youth with an endless supply of energy being junior officer in a field battalion he had to learn how to command men.

Some young officers simply would not apply themselves but William was diligent and he confided in me that he wanted to be a good officer respected by his command for his military knowledge rather than by the whip and lash as was prevalent in the privileged world of the officer class.
Indeed this is why he had chosen the 95th as the regiment set high ideals everything officers being selected because of their character rather than their breeding.
They also set great store in field craft, accuracy with the rifle and endurance on the march also they encouraged initiative which in other regiments was unheard of.

The New Year Celebrations were wonderful a ball was held and people of quality came from near and far. Mama had bought me a gown for this very evening and to my mind it was exceedingly grown up.
The inner gown was made of the softest gold satin light and fluid this was covered by an outer floating shift of the finest gossamer chiffon which had pretty sprays of flowers embroidered all over it.
It had a scooped neckline that displayed my budding breasts the short puff ball sleeves ending in a delicious frill. The waistline was high about 2” below my breasts and the dress was fitted to my corseted body.
The hem of the gown was so very beautiful Gold leaves had been embroidered all around the hem this band was about 8” wide then above this there was another band of leaves again in gold silk thread.

I was so thrilled as Miss M fastened my into my gown I was dancing from one foot to the other (a habit I have never gotten out of) through excitement.
Of course I got a reprimand for this from Miss M.
When I was fastened into my gown I rushed to the mirror exclaiming, “Oh Miss Martha is it not the most beautiful dress.” As I said these words I was swishing from one side to the other to see the fluid motion of the gown.

Miss M came to me and looked at my reflection there was a mixture of pride and sadness in her eyes as she gazed at me. “You have turned into an exceedingly attractive young lady Charlotte and I and your mama are so very proud of you.”

This display was most unlike Miss M instinctively I flung my arms around her and hugged her sobbing, “But all this is thanks to you and mama and I truly love you both.”
She must have recovered her feeling as I was lightly chastised for my display of affection. I was told to sit down and get my hair styled.
To my shame I sat in front of the mirror so I could see my reflection – this was the most adult gown I had ever been allowed to wear and I think was another test for me.

After three years my hair was very long down to the hollow of my back and a deep copper in colour tonight for the ball Anna and Miss M were going to style it in a Grecian based style where my hair would be piled on my head in a series of soft curls then pinned in place using silver hair combs and clips this was again a really adult style and showed how slender and graceful my neck was.
The finished effect was to my eyes very sophisticated and adult I was totally enchanted.

And how did I look three years after becoming Charlotte?
I was now 13 years old and I stood about 5’ 7” tall this was taller than Annabelle and Clarissa.

When I asked mama she told me that this was due to my operation as with the bits removed it was known for Castrati to grow very tall but the herb infusion I took daily stopped this to a degree.

My body was slender and my smooth creamy legs long and shapely. My hips were comely and my derriere firm and feminine.
Without a corset my waist was slender but with a corset I could get down to a 20” waist I was aiming for 18” for my ‘coming out’ but there was still time for that.
Now my breasts had started to grow they were about the size of an orange firm and creamy with a distinct cleavage especially is a gown such as I was wearing.
My shoulders were slender and my arms very feminine.
My neck was quite long and slender this was especially noticeable when my hair was piled upon my head.

I had a delicate jawline and full lips my teeth were white and even. The colour of my teeth was due to mama insisting that I rub my teeth daily with salt on my finger.
I had high cheekbones and my cheeks were the classical apple shaped with a slight blush to them.
My hazel eyes were large and doe shaped with a quizzical, open and friendly look to them eyebrows were thin and shaped (again at the insistence of mama)

It has been said that I was a comely girl with a nice disposition and friendly demeanour.
Once I was deemed ready I was taken to mama’s room, as I would be under her wing for this ball. This was quite normal and Charlotte and Annabelle would likewise be under the control of their mothers.

When Miss M and I entered mama’s room my mother looked at me with tears glistening in the candlelight, “My darling daughter” she gasped, “You look enchanting I am so very proud of you.”
I bobbed a small curtsy answering, “Thank you mama I am so happy that you approve.”
She looked at me again and asked, “and you like your gown?” My girlish enthusiasm bubbled over and I ran to mama hugged her saying, “Oh mama it’s so beautiful – thank you so much.”

She disentangled herself from my embrace (but I was not chastised) in stead she said, “Come take my arm my dear let me introduce you to your audience – remember child you will be judged tonight by your elders and peers.”

This sobered me up a bit as I realised that really this was to be my first introduction into the society that I was born into every little move, every little action would be judged and if I was found lacking I could be shunned by society.

I think mama felt my discomfort because at the head of the grand staircase she stopped looked at me and with a mischievous smile said, “And do you think your young man will like your dress?” “Mama!” I gasped then I gathered myself and answered with a similar grin, “I hope so mama.”

“Come Child now for your introduction.” We descended the staircase into the candle lit hall everywhere glittered to the flickering light of the candles the ladies jewels sparkled in this light it was enchanting.
We progressed through the entrance hall mama talking to people she knew and me keeping a demure silence only speaking when I was introduced as I bobbed my curtsy.
I saw Annabelle and Clarissa undergoing the same torment as I Clarissa managed to grimace at me causing me to grin then it was back to being the demure young lady.

Finally we met up with Lady Ffinch Annabelle, Reginald (Reggie) and William.
William looked at me with something like awe in his eyes he stood drinking me in.
Annabelle nudged him - none too gently saying, “Well brother are you not going to compliment Charlotte for looking so enchanting.”
While she said this she grinned at me with undisguised glee - at both her brothers and my embarrassment.

Staggering from the nudge, which he was not prepared for poor William managed to stammer, “Charlotte you look enchanting.”
I smiled and blushed prettily as mama added to poor Williams discomfort saying, “So you are the young man who has been monopolising my daughter I hope your intentions are honourable!”

Poor William was squirming in total embarrassment as he earnestly told my mama that his intentions were truly honourable, the poor boy was digging him self into a deep hole!
Mama took pity on him saying, “That is good William I only tease you but I must say you look dashing in your uniform.”
This caused him to blush again as his elder brother was resplendent in his scarlet uniform while William’s uniform was dark green with black frogging.
Reggie mentioned again how William’s regiment was called the Grass Hoppers – but it was all in good humour.

We were then summoned to dinner all of us younger members of the party were sat at a separate table to the adults so we would not disturb them with our chatter. But we all were within eyesight of our parents.
I do not know if it was organised this was but I was seated with William on my right side and Clarissa’s younger brother Henry on my left.
Henry was in the Light Dragoon Guards and his uniform consisted of a blue short jacket braided in gold and very splendid.
Though to my eyes William was the most dashing of them all!

Dinner at our table was a riotous affair with much joking and friendly rivalry between the Army and Navy officers also between the mounted officers and the foot brigades. And for the navy they took the rivalry out on the marines it was a wonderful, wonderful experience for one as young as I.

After a meal of 12 courses the gentlemen retired to the billiard room for port and a cigar while us ladies repaired to the salon to talk and take coffee or tea – or something stronger!
Again us younger girls sat apart gossiping it was here I met girls from other families who could be important in my future life.
Of course my friends Annabelle and Clarissa too great delight in telling the world about my admirer.

Then everyone met in the great hall and dancing began. I had a small card in my reticule and like the other girls it was soon full of the names of the young blades that wanted to dance. But I will admit that I made sure that William had a few more dances with me and most certainly the first and last dance.

The first time he took me to dance was the first time he had actually touched me (Officially) mama fixed him with a steely gaze but he was the perfect gentleman and to my amazement a good dancer light on is feet and sure of his movements guiding me around the dance floor

Things finally ended well after midnight after we had ushered in the year 1805 I was so sorry that the ball was over I had loved every moment of it totally forgetting my special circumstances simply revelling in my femininity.

As I went upstairs with mama she looked at me and said, “Thank you dear Charlotte you have acted impeccably and have made a good impression on many people.”
This was indeed praise from mama and I basked in it then tiredness took over and before I could stop myself I gave an almighty yawn.

“Charlotte really” mama said. “Sorry mama I couldn’t help it.” Mama’s gaze softened as she wistfully said, “I remember my first ball and I was just like you excited and amazed – though I certainly did not have an admirer!” Then she kissed me on my cheek, “To bed young lady.” I needed no bidding.

As I approached my room Anna was asleep outside on a truckle bed and feeling really guilty I knew I had to rouse her to get me out of my dress.
As I was about to do so mama came behind me carrying her dressing gown, She whispered, “Leave the girl Charlotte we will help each other disrobe which we did mama donning her gown to return to her room.
As I put my nightdress on I reflected that mama certainly was very progressive and I vowed to be the same as her as it seemed to engender loyalty in others

Historical Note on the rituals and restrictions a lady of 1800 had to conform to: -
She never approached people of higher rank, unless being introduced by a mutual friend.
People of lesser rank were always introduced to people of higher rank, and then only if the higher-ranking person had given his/her permission.
Even after being introduced, the person of higher rank did not have to maintain the acquaintance. They could ignore, or 'cut' the person of lower rank.
A single woman never addressed a gentleman without an introduction.
A single woman never walked out alone. Her chaperone had to be older and preferably married.
If she had progressed to the stage of courtship in which she walked out with a gentleman, they always walked apart. A gentleman could offer his hand over rough spots, the only contact he was allowed with a woman who was not his fiancée.
Proper women never rode alone in a closed carriage with a man who wasn't a relative.
She would never call upon an unmarried gentleman at his place of residence.
She couldn't receive a man at home if she was alone. Another family member had to be present in the room.
A gentlewoman never looked back after anyone in the street, or turned to stare at others at church, the opera, etc.
No impure conversations were held in front of single women.
No sexual contact was allowed before marriage.
Innocence was demanded by men from girls in his class and most especially from his future wife.
Intelligence was not encouraged in young ladies of the time, nor was any interest in politics. Though again Charlotte’s mother actively encouraged her daughter to become educated but not to flaunt it.

Set in the Napoleonic Period of the early 1800's a young boy with the help from his Mother takes the place of his twin sister and is brought up as a Lady of Quality Lady Charlotte Grenford this story follows her life as she learns everything she needs to know in the complex social world of this time.

After a nights sleep I lay in bed pondering mama in may ways she was a contradiction firm but fair, old fashioned but progressive.
Take last night no doubt the other ladies would have thought nothing to waking up their ladies maids to help them undress whereas mama thought about the well being of the maids and we helped each other undress.

Also mama insisted that I clean my teeth daily with salt and my finger. Normally people never cleaned their teeth. Another thing mama insisted on was that I chewed mint to freshen my breath.
The very worst thing mama insisted was that we bathed once a month and that when we bathed we did so undressed. This was very rare for others where some of the lower classes never washed in their lives.
Mama also insisted that we plucked our eyebrows though not as much as a harlot would. She also insisted that my armpits were trimmed of excess hair.

Mama was indeed an unorthodox Lady!

I rang for Anna when she entered she begged forgiveness for not being awake when I returned last night.
As she was very agitated I sat her down on the bed and told her, “Anna last night I could have woken you but it was so very late mama decided that you and Mary could sleep on.”
“But Miss” she started but I stopped her telling her, “Say no more Anna – now please fetch me some water for washing.”
She bobbed a curtsy and went to do my bidding.

While Anna was away I selected my dress for the day. I decided on a cream muslin dress with some frills around the hem.
The fullness of the muslin shift dress was first drawn together under the bust line with a girdle. The neckline was scooped and displayed my budding assets.
The small neat puff sleeves barely capped my shoulder’s and they were pulled back by the narrow cut of the bodice this restricted my arm movement to a certain daintiness.
Miss M arrived as I finished dressing Anna styled my hair in a bob at the back of my head fastened with tortoise shell combs and a braid of hair fell down my back.
We went downstairs and into the breakfast room. My brother Edward was already there. I went over and kissed him bidding him a good morning.

Getting my breakfast, which consisted of hot chocolate warm bread rolls with butter and a slice of pound cake. I joined him and started speaking about last night. He listened to my chatter with a gentle smile on his face as he realised that last night had been special to me.

“Your young man has arrived Charlotte” he commented. Then to my surprise he gestured to William asking him if he would join us.
While William filled his plate Edward said to me, “I hope you do not mind dear Charlotte he seems a nice chap I would like to get to know him better.”

I was wondering what was coming as this was most unusual as I was only 13 discussions with prospective partners do not normally begin until after the ‘Coming Out Ball’ when I would be 17!

But I think my fevered imagination was seeing things that simply didn’t exist.
Edward always was good at putting people at ease and he began with some gentle ribbing about the Senior Service versus the Army.

Then they got talking about Williams Regiment and their role and expertise. This seemed to put William at his ease and he answered freely and I will admit passionately. As for me I may well as not being there.

I was just starting to feel annoyed when Annabelle and Clarissa joined us. The gentlemen stood while my friends settled in but soon they were discussing Williams Regiment.
Edward seemed to have a real interest in the tactics.
So us three girls chattered away about last night, as I was still thrilled and excited.

Finally Edward and William stood as we three girls left to change into our riding habits. Edwards last words to William was, “Thank you young sir your thoughts were very interesting and I’m certain that when Arthur Wellesley gains full command your talents will be used to the full.”
“You are acquainted with him sir?”
Edward gave that gentle smile admitting, “I have met him and like his way of thinking – but acquainted no.”

As Edward escorted me to the stairs he said, “Your young man is very pleasant and would make a fine husband.” I gasped at this. Edward sensing my discomfort barked out a laugh saying, “Not yet dearest Charlotte you are far too young but maybe..........”
He left this hanging then kissing me on the cheek he commented, “And my dearest sister I would council you not to get too attached to young William as he really understates the danger of what his regiment undertakes.”

With that he left me in a quandary I resolved to speak to William while we were riding.
I went and changed into my floor length dark green riding habit it was designed for sidesaddle riding. I wore a white silk blouse with a tight fitting jacket of the same colour and material as my skirt. Once my dainty riding hat was in place I went downstairs and joined the others.

Our ride this day was wonderful we happily cantered trotted the men galloped but William and I mainly walked our horses with - but apart from the rest of the party testing the boundaries of the ‘not being left alone with a man’.
The others knew what we were doing but indulged us making sure that there were always two members of our party in sight of us.

William made light of the dangers in the army trying to ease my mind no doubt but I was still concerned.
The next day while the men went on a shooting party the ladies remained at home sewing and gossiping.
We three young ladies were taken on a carriage ride with Edward doing the driving even though he only had one arm he had adapted to carriage driving well and he was a good driver.
The Phaeton was a light four-wheeled carriage with open sides in front of the seats and was drawn by a single horse.
In the back it was really comfortable but a bit cold so we were well wrapped up.
We spent a wonderful afternoon blowing all the cobwebs away and ended up back at the hall fresh faced and rosy cheeks.

Back at the hall William was the centre of attention because for a 17 year old boy apparently he was an excellent shot partly due to the gun his papa had bought him it was one of the Baker Rifles that he used with his Regiment.
He basked in the glory as previously he had taken a lot of ribbing over his green uniform and his choice of Regiment.

I will admit that I basked in his reflected glory, as after all he was my companion that night I asked him about his shooting.
He told me that the quartermaster at Shorncliffe barracks (A certain Richard Sharpe) spent a long time teaching how to shoot accurately.
This quartermaster had started off as a rifleman rising to sergeant then he gained a battlefield commission for saving General Wellesley during the Battle of Assaye.
He had risen from the ranks. But somehow he liked William thus spending time with him probably because he recognized that one day he would make a good officer.

Soon it was time for us to return home I was really sad that we were going but I would see Annabelle and Clarissa at the end of April in London although I would not see William.
All our trunks were packed and I dressed for the ride home I realised that Anna had packed all my pantaloons that were one piece leaving me with some split leg pantaloons.
Anna laced me into my corset next my soft crinoline then Anna dropped my dress over my head.

My dress was made of the lightest lilac muslin and had a high neck with long sleeves the hem was scalloped and it was a sensible dress for travelling in.
My Cloak was a satin lined with the outside being wool it had a fur collar I had a matching muff to keep my hands warm.
Thick black Lisle stockings and cute little ankle boots I was ready to travel.

Edward, Mama and I said out fond goodbyes to our hosts promising to see them this coming season.
Us three girls said a quite emotional goodbye then it was William. Protocol demanded that apart from helping me into my carriage, while we were dancing or helping should I stumble he simply could not touch me.
So our good bye was somewhat stilted though he asked if he could write to me a request that I eagerly agreed to.

He then handed me into the carriage this is when fate in the disguise of a strong gust of wind intervened it got under my skirt and crinoline and blew them up and over poor William!
I was mortified and more than this when I felt the cool air between my legs I knew that William must have seen my little secret unless he was totally blind which he most certainly was not – I was ruined!

When my dress ballooned I was half way into the carriage so had only one hand free to try and tame my dress.
Luckily Annabelle was close by and soon my modesty was returned but the damage had been done!

With a flaming red face I composed myself and thanked William for his assistance.
I did notice that his demeanour had not changed he still looked at me with adoration (I think that is what I saw).
His last words to me were, “I’ll miss your company dear Charlotte but I will write soon.”

Then the carriage clattered away back home. I sat there in absolute terror not only would my reputation be ruined but mamas and Edwards.
William simply must have seen as these pantaloons parted near the top of the thigh leaving the groin area open to make it easier to use the closet.

We arrived home the next day having slept the night at a coaching inn that night I sent Anna to my luggage to find me a pair of closed leg pantaloons which she did then once I was ready for bed I burnt my open leg pair resolving never to wear this design again – but I fear the damage had already been done.

My life continued with me still being moulded into the perfect lady I was now accomplished on both the piano and harp though I will never be as good as Annabelle and Clarissa.
I could converse in five languages English, French, German, Spanish and Italian.
I had read some philosophy and some Shakespeare some of the modern novels.
I could converse on many subjects other than fashions and the latest fads – though I could also converse on these topics.
Knowing all the rules of etiquette and social graces I was now nearly the finished article – a young lady of breeding ready for marriage socially aware and perfectly behaved. Oh my what a waste I sometimes thought.

My first letter from William arrived by messenger some 2 weeks later. With a lot of trepidation I opened it to find a very loving letter William told me how much he missed my company, how much he thought about me and that he simply could not wait to see me again.
He had re-joined his Regiment and was busy training the raw recruits along. He also asked if I could have a likeness of me painted as he then could treasure my image.

I resolved to keep his letters safe so I purchased a jewellery casket. Asking mama about Williams request she smiled indulgently saying, “My darling I think we can do this for the young man – after all he has seen your legs.” The reference to the wind lifting my skirts caused me to blush but at least mama had consented to having a miniature portrait painted.

I wrote back to his telling him that mama had agree for me to have my portrait painted my letter was full of gossip and the everyday thing I was doing and also that I missed seeing him.

And so our relationship continued through the first part of the year regular loving letters.
As the spring approached Edward was getting quite frustrated, as he could not set everything up to practice painting. At home he had his easel permanently set up but he used to love going into the countryside to paint so I offered to go with him and help – an offer he gladly accepted.

So it was that quite often we would take the Gig and with everything fastened to the back we would set off into the country where we would paint.
Sometimes when the weather was nice I would take my small 19 string harp and played for us which Edward said soothed him.

We always took a picnic and had many a happy hour simply talking painting and playing my harp.
Sometimes mama would join us then it was a total family affair as mother was also an accomplished artist.

Soon it was time to go to London for the season April to July as usual our trunks were packed.
I was so excited I would be seeing Clarissa and Annabelle again as well as getting my portrait painted for William by a renown miniature artist Mr. John Cox Dillman.

I loved the journey down to London as we sleep at friends of my family the whole journey takes about 6 days but finally we were ensconced in our town house. The second day there we went to Lady Flitch’s house for tea and of course we three met up again it was wonderful to see my friends again we chattered away telling each other all our news since we had last seen each other all of 4 months ago.

Then the artist a Mr Dillman came to my house and I was introduced to him he seemed a nice gentleman and put me at ease I was told that it would take 8 days for the preliminary sketches and that when I sat I had to wear the same clothes and sit very still. When I looked dismayed at the thought of 8 days sitting still he smiled and told me that I would be sitting for an hour at a time then have 15 minutes rest.
Mama surprised me by purchasing a most beautiful gown for me to wear which made me look very grown up. It was a white silk dress, with a pink gossamer shawl to drape over my left shoulder.
I was to have pink rose at my corsage a pearl necklace with drop pearl earring and my hair in ringlets.

Historical notes about the hygiene habits of the 1800’s people could go from cradle to grave without ever immersing themselves in water. Many people believed that bathing was unhealthy and that soaking in water, especially hot water, would let disease enter the body. Even if you did decide to take a bath, you would not even have contemplated taking off your clothes – a habit that remained right through to the end of the 19th century! This is what made Charlottes mother unusual.
Deodorant was not invented until the 1880s, so most people were entirely comfortable with smelling like a goat most of the time.
The rich would try to hide this smell by dousing themselves in perfume. We all know that doesn’t work. Many Women did not groom their body hair.
Dental hygiene was little more than a toothpick and maybe wiping down your gums with a cloth and salt though toothpaste was available in the 1770’s it was not widely used.
Dining: meals as were served in this episode were huge extravagant affairs and example often starting with soup and various entrees - pigeons in white sauce, sautéed mushrooms or asparagus in breadcrumbs for example. The next course could consist of roast chicken, baked salmon, a venison pie, sweet and savory pastries and a number of sauces. The interesting thing about Regency dinners is that both sweet and savoury dishes would be served as part of the same course. It was only the last course at each dinner that consisted mainly of sweets, pastries, jellies, ices, nuts and fruit.
And finally drinking: - Water was not considered safe to drink and milk was for children or invalids. Tea, coffee and hot chocolate were popular drinks for breakfast time, though many men began the day with a tankard of ale and a plate of cold roast beef. Lemonade, orangeade or barley water were offered as refreshments during the day. And, of course, everyone drank alcohol - sometimes in alarming quantities. During dinner and supper numerous different wines (hock, champagne, burgundy or claret) would be served. After dinner men would drink brandy or port. Rum punch warmed you when it was cold outside. Various alcoholic mixers were served at dances and balls and along with sherry, Madeira and sweet liqueurs.

Charlottes education continues apace as the war in Europe starts to swing against Napoleon. Charlotte, Annabelle and Clarissa have their coming out year and are presented to the King. This make a girl eligible to marry and William asks for Charlottes hand in marriage - this caused consternation with her mother.

The next day mama and Miss M dressed me very carefully and styled my hair then I want down into the sitting room to meet Mr Dillman again.
He looked at me and breathed, “Enchanting Miss Grenford absolutely enchanting.”

He then sat me as he wanted to then asking if I were comfortable. Once I had confirmed I was comfortable he sat opposite and started to sketch me.
Sitting so still was an absolute torment for me but I thought that the result would be worth it, as William will have a splendid portrait of me.
After 5 days he finally was satisfied with the sketches he had produced – it was not a moment too soon for me.

The rest of the season passed in a whirl of theatre, balls, visits to the pleasure gardens and one to the coast we went to Brighton. This was the first time I had seen the sea and I was truly amazed actually seeing the expanse of water.

Unfortunately I did not see William as he was with his regiment. I was disappointed and started to question my feelings for him. I had read Miss Austen novel ‘First Impressions’ (Historical note Later renamed Pride and Prejudice) and knew about love but was I in love? These musings really concerned me for if I was in love surely this was wrong.

We went back to the country and our life continued very much as before I was being refined more and more until I was the finished article namely a young Lady of breeding ready in all respects to take her place in society.

A few months after we had left London my miniature for William arrived I was delighted with it as it really made me look exceedingly attractive.
Edward surprised me by engaging the artist to do a portrait size picture as he said that it really caught my innocence and beauty!
Mama’s reaction really surprised me as she burst into tears exclaiming, “Oh my dear, dear daughter you have turned out so beautiful.”

I sent the miniature to William with a hand written note on the back saying ‘From Charlotte to William a token’.
His letter back to me was loving and dare I say it somewhat passionate (not the done thing) he loved the picture and had purchased a small silver box to keep it safe as he intended to carry the picture of his beloved (me) where ever he went.
That letter was very well concealed from mama – I was thrilled that he called me his beloved.

Then in late 1805 part of Williams regiment was deployed to Germany to liberate Hanover (where our King originally called home).

In October 1805 the Battle of Trafalgar took place and England lost her greatest Admiral Lord Nelson. Edward was quite upset by this as he admired Lord Nelson greatly.

Lord Nelsons body was returned to England preserved in a barrel of Brandy he had a full state funeral In January 1806 which William and Mama went to at St Paul's while I watched from a vantage point with Annabelle and Clarissa.

The funeral parade was spectacular as befitted the saviour of our nation. There was in total 5 days of national mourning

William’s regiment returned home in February 1806 for that period I had been so afraid for him and said so in my letters.
His letters were part passionate calling me his beloved and the rest a military report telling me how they were the vanguard on the advance and rear guard on the withdrawal as always he told me how much he missed me and how much he wanted to see me again. (Another letter mama must not find)

I saw William when we went to London for the season and once again we were always seen together though always with a chaperone and he still could only touch me when we were dancing or when helping me should I stumble.
Mama noticed our relationship was getting stronger and I could see that it did concern her but I had no knowledge why.

In 1807 William took part in the second battle of Copenhagen under Arthur Wellesley where they captured the Danish Fleet then the army withdrew back to England.
Again I was with William at Christmas, which was held at Grenford Hall Annabelle, Clarissa and I were really firm friends and to have them with me for a whole month was excellent.
As their regiments were in England all of Annabelle and Clarissa’s brothers were present and this naturally included my William. (which is how I thought of him)

He had changed quite a lot since I first met him. Now he was broad and very muscular and I noticed very self-assured though to ladies he was always the epitome of a gentleman.
He had (to my eyes) always been handsome but now he was ruggedly handsome as I say this I mean that to some extent he was no longer a ‘soft’ son of privilege.

When I mentioned it he laughed it off explaining that as an independent scouting company he is in very close contact with his men, which had caused him to harden a touch. He fleetingly touched my hand (A social taboo) saying, “But to you dearest Charlotte I would never harm you’.

Again we spent as much time as society allowed together again to mama’s obviously growing concern.
We three girls were told that 1808 was the year we would be ‘coming out’ the season of 1808 would be for us a while of coming out balls and of course being introduced to the king.

This was an essential process for a young lady of society and proclaimed that they were eligible for marriage when William was told he said to me when we were out of earshot of others, “Next Year dear Charlotte I will speak to your brother as you must know I have feelings for you!”

These words caused my heart to flutter I exclaimed, “But William we cannot be one until I am 21.” He smiled that wonderful warm smile of his answering, “Sweetest Charlotte I don’t want to loose you we can become betrothed.”

We left things at that and after Christmas made ready to move early to London and Lord Beaufort was sitting in Parliament as was Lord Ffinch and my brother Edward was to be introduced to people who would help him in public life.

Another reason is that for the coming out season a girl must have clothes and lots of them as there are lot’s of balls to attend and it would be a social faux pas to be seen in the same gown.

Also there was the special ‘court gown’.

I will have to explain this. In 1808 the fashion was for Empire Style dresses, which were loose and soft flowing unfortunately the Court of St. James’s had not caught up with this so the ‘Court Gown’ was totally different.

Hoops and wide skirts had gone out of fashion decades earlier. For my dress the hoops were worn under a petticoat, which made the gown exceedingly wide and exceedingly difficult to walk in. Over these hoops my skirt of rich white satin that was covered in fine white and gold lace.
My tight fitting bodice was also white satin but had handmade silk roses in white and softest pinks as decoration.

Etiquette demanded a debutante wear from three to eight ostrich feathers in her headdress so collectively our mothers decided that seeing as Clarissa’s social standing was slightly higher than Annabelle or myself she would wear six feathers while Annabelle and I would wear four a small thing but essential in our society.

The first time we were all together and the plumes had been affixed to our tiara I really felt sorry for Clarissa as these plumes seemed to have a mind of their own controlling four was difficult but for poor Clarissa six must have been awful.

After we had practiced walking in these special gowns and had changed into a lot more comfortable walking dress Clarissa complained to us about her plume’s Annabelle teased her about her social standing and we all ended laughing and giggling in a very unladylike manner.

Then came the day we were introduced to the King and Queen three landau’s had been hired as with the court dresses we needed larger coaches than we had.
Also our mothers were also in court dress and our fathers - or in my case Edward wore dress uniform.

The journey to the Court was both exciting and full of apprehension I was praying that the three of us would be able to walk in these cumbersome dresses and that none of us would commit a social faux pas also that our ostrich plumes would behave especially poor Clarissa’s six plume’s!

We arranged ourselves in order of precedence with Clarissa being ahead as her father was an Earl while Annabelle and I were included in the ranks of the Viscount’s – and we were the only two this year.
So we were close together the rest of the ladies being presented were of a lower social rank hence queued behind us.
The meeting of the King and Queen was really a bit of an anti climax. Our parents presented us we gave a deep curtsy (very difficult with the hooped skirt) and then we moved on the introductions over.
This then meant that we were eligible young ladies a target for young males the thing now was to make a match that is beneficial to both families.

And so began the rounds of balls, theatre, tea’s and promenading always with our chaperone’s now the three of us girls had been presented we began to receive invitations to different functions or my brother and/or mama would be invited in the hope that I would accompany them.

Promenading was another essential social function where we would wear really rich dresses then ride in an open carriage through the royal parks or walking in Hyde Park.

It was a wonderful period of my life I saw William on many occasions and by now I had decided that I was in love with him though I did not fully understand all the ramifications of this.

Then in August 1808 his regiment went to Portugal from his letters (again were part passionate and very personal and part a military report) I gleaned that the 95th had landed first and dug in covering the landing of the rest of the army.
Then they had a skirmish with the French at Obidos where Williams superior officer was killed a certain Lieutenant Ralph Bunbury. William received a battlefield promotion to Lieutenant, which was later confirmed by the commanding officer of the regiment.

I meanwhile was blossoming although Mother Boville had unfortunately died at the grand age of 80!
Mama made sure that she had a good funeral ensuring that there were refreshments available for everyone on the estate.
Her potion had most certainly worked as my breasts were full and comely the size of two very large oranges. My hips were wide and my waist a slender 18” wearing a corset.
By now my hair was down to my rather pert derriere it was always worn in a bun with ringlets covered by a jaunty bonnet.

The close of 1808 and we had Christmas at Lord Beaufort’s estate us three girls were present but no men folk as they were all away serving their country the talk of the elder men was all about the army in Portugal apparently they were fighting their way through the country.

We three girls tried to act as normal but we were worried Annabelle and Clarissa about their brothers and I about my dear William.
In January 1809 we went to London as Edward was now a member of the House of Lords and as the country was at war Parliament was nearly always in session.

We received news about the Battle at Corrunna where the French were heavily defeated but at great cost I was frantic with worry was my William still alive?
Finally in the middle of March I received a letter from William telling me he was safe but that the 95th had taken many casualties however the good news was that most of the regiment was returning to England to re-equip and re-fit.

He told me that on this time in England he was going to speak to Edward and ask for my hand in marriage!
I had just received this letter when he arrived home! I was so very pleased to see him that it took me all of my restraint not to rush into his arms.
He looked drawn but exceedingly dashing with he new insignia of rank on his uniform.

We met socially and he showed me the small silver box that contained my portrait. The box was exceedingly battered but the portrait was still perfect. He told me that whenever he is going into action he looked at my likeness and pray to return to me.
I was so very touched that tears came to my eyes.

Then he arrived at our house one morning – I spied him as I descended the staircase he had a resolute look on his face and much to my vexation did not look my way.
He was shown immediately into Edwards study and I guessed that the purpose of his visit involved myself.
In a state of agitation I entered the drawing room where Mama was doing her embroidery. “Who was that at the door darling” she asked me. “William mama he is with Edward.”
Mama looked startled and “Oh” escaped her lips. I sat down and picked up my embroidery not looking her way.
Edward was the head of the household even though mama was very much alive but on all things concerning the family– including my future his decision was final though he did rely on mama’s knowledge and often deferred to her judgement.

A maid knocked and entered saying, “Lady Arabella Lord Edward would like to speak with you.” I could feel mama looking at me as she stood and followed the maid. I sat trying to sew but fretting wondering what was happening in the study.

After what seemed like an age the maid appeared and I was asked to go to the study.
When I arrived there stood William with mama sitting my brother Edward was not in the room.
I went and stood near William mama looked sadly at the two of us before speaking, “Charlotte, William is here today to ask for your hand in marriage.”

I gasped not knowing what to think of feel. Mama continued looking at William,
“I have been aware that you are very much taken with my daughter but I must ask you to reconsider.”

William stood straight looking at mama and answered, “Lady Arabella if I would like to speak frankly if I may.”
Mama looked startled as this was unheard of eventually she nodded giving William permission to speak.

He began, “Lady Arabella I have been seeing Charlotte for the past 5 years I have seen her blossom from a attractive child to a sophisticated, eligible and beautiful girl – who I love deeply and respect highly.”

He stopped to draw breath mama was about to speak when William continued, “Please Lady Arabella let me finish and then if you still do not want me to marry Charlotte I will abide by your opinion and never see Charlotte again.”

Without thinking I blurted, “Oh no please no!”

Mama looked sharply at me before speaking, “Please continue William.” William nodded and looking at me with adoration in his eyes continued, “Lady Arabella I have thought long and hard but I love Charlotte deeply and as I have already said I would never do anything that would cause her any harm.”

I gasped at this then he carried on, “You see Lady Arabella I know why you do not want me to marry my love Charlotte. I have known for five years her secret and I simply do not care. To me Charlotte to me is a charming accomplished and very beautiful girl who I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

I was totally unaware of the silence that had descended as I gasped, “Oh William I do so love you.”

Historical Note: Nelsons final voyage and funeral - Nelson's body was placed in a cask of brandy mixed with camphor and myrrh, which was then lashed to the Victory's mainmast and placed under guard. Victory was towed to Gibraltar after the battle, and on arrival the body was transferred to a lead-lined coffin filled with spirits of wine..
Collingwood's dispatches about the battle were carried to England aboard HMS Pickle, and when the news arrived in London, a messenger was sent to Merton Place to bring the news of Nelson's death to Emma Hamilton. She later recalled,
They brought me word Mr. Whitby from the Admiralty. "Show him in directly", I said. He came in, and with a pale countenance and faint voice, said, "We have gained a great Victory." – "Never mind your Victory", I said. "My letters – give me my letters" – Captain Whitby was unable to speak – tears in his eyes and a deathly paleness over his face made me comprehend him. I believe I gave a scream and fell back, and for ten hours I could neither speak nor shed a tear.
King George III, on receiving the news, is alleged to have said, in tears, "We have lost more than we have gained."
The Times reported
We do not know whether we should mourn or rejoice. The country has gained the most splendid and decisive Victory that has ever graced the naval annals of England; but it has been dearly purchased.
The first tribute to Nelson was fittingly offered at sea by sailors of Vice-Admiral Dmitry Senyavin's passing Russian squadron, which saluted on learning of the death.
Nelson's body was unloaded from the Victory at the Nore. It was conveyed upriver in Commander Grey's yacht Chatham to Greenwich and placed in a lead coffin, and that in another wooden one, made from the mast of L'Orient, which had been salvaged after the Battle of the Nile.
He lay in state in the Painted Hall at Greenwich for three days, before being taken upriver aboard a barge, accompanied by Lord Hood, chief mourner Sir Peter Parker, and the Prince of Wales.
The Prince of Wales at first announced his intention to attend the funeral as chief mourner, but later attended in a private capacity with his brothers when his father George III reminded him that it was against protocol for the Heir to the Throne to attend the funerals of anyone except members of the Royal Family.
The coffin was taken into the Admiralty for the night, attended by Nelson's chaplain, Alexander Scott. The next day, 9 January, a funeral procession consisting of 32 admirals, over a hundred captains, and an escort of 10,000 soldiers took the coffin from the Admiralty to St Paul's Cathedral.
After a four-hour service he was interred within a sarcophagus originally carved for Cardinal Wolsey. The sailors charged with folding the flag draping Nelson's coffin and placing it in the grave instead tore it into fragments, with each taking a piece as a memento.

Until 1823 the legal age for marriage without parental consent in England was 21. However with the agreement of the families they could we much younger.
After 1823 a boy could marry as young as 14 and a girl 12.

In the 1800’s and indeed to the 1940’s the British Social structure was rigid though in the whole of the 19th century breeding was everything.
There were 5 ranks of the aristocracy (and still are) these are Duke; Marquess; Earl; Viscount and Baron. In these days it is very difficult to comprehend the importance that was placed on your rank in society in the 1800’s

Coming Out Ceremony the “coming out” ceremony coincided with the start of the London high social season (just after Easter). Two or three days would be set aside for the presentations, about one to two hundred girls each day queuing up in their carriages outside St. James’s Palace (later Buckingham Palace), carrying bouquets and dressed rather like it was their wedding day.
For much of the 1800s wedding dresses were actually simpler than court gowns, brides often selecting something that could be worn again, even dark coloured travelling suits acceptable.
Later in the century some women had their presentation outfit altered for their nuptials, and the modern wedding dress is probably a direct descendant of the white silk debutante court gown.
Applications for young ladies inclusion in the coming out ceremony were required to be made by ladies who themselves had been presented to the sovereign when they were young, often the mother, grandmother, step-mother, or someone else known by the family; the higher in aristocratic rank the better.

Charlotte is now a eligible young lady of breeding; her fiancée William has just asked for her hand in marriage telling Lady Arabella that he knows that Charlotte was not born a girl but he does not care, as he truly loves her. Soon his Regiment must return to the bloody peninsular war against Napoleon and he is fully aware that he could be away for years.

Mama sat back and sighed looking at the two of us with a sigh she replied, “So William you think you know why I do not want you to marry Charlotte?”
Mama looked perturbed as she asked this.

“Lady Arabella I do not think, I know - I know that Charlotte was not born a girl!” I gasped and looked at him.
He looked at me with that look of love and adoration in his eyes.

Mama took all this in and answered, “And if I do not give you permission you will ruin Charlottes reputation!”

William straightened looking mama in the eye retorted, “Madam if you were a man I would offer you out for satisfaction as you do me ill.”

For once mama dropped her eyes and sighed, “I am sorry William please forgive me.”
William gave a stiff bow and carried on, “Lady Arabella there is nothing to forgive no doubt you were upset at my words.”

Mama bowed in an apology and William continued, “I have said before that I would never do anything to hurt dear Charlotte her secret will go with me to the grave. I know it will be a very unorthodox marriage but it is a marriage that I want because I love her dearly!”

I started to move from one leg to the other (as I still do when I am excited). Mama noticed and said, “Charlotte a lady does not fidget!” “Sorry mama” I contritely replied.

Mama sat there thinking finally she looked at William and said, “William I thank you for your consideration and as long as you fully understand the limitations of your marriage I will consent to your request and will speak to Edward on your behalf.”

I ran to mama and hugged her saying, “Thank you mama, oh thank you!” “Charlotte really” mama remonstrated “Please remember you manners.” “Sorry mama” I said as I stepped back.
When I turned and looked at William he had a beaming smile of his face, which must have matched the smile I had.

William answered mama saying, “I fully understand and I will set your mind at rest by pledging to you that I will love and cherish Charlotte and do nothing to hurt her for the rest of our lives.”

Mama inclined her head answering, “I could ask for nothing more – now shall we take refreshments and I can speak with Edward.
We retired to the withdrawing room and mama ordered refreshments for the four of us.

I sat next to William while mama sat opposite (even though we were nearly betrothed we still could not touch until Edward agreed)
My brother Edward entered shortly before the refreshment and mama recounted that William had indeed asked for my hand in marriage and she (mama) had agreed providing Edward agreed.

Edward looked at the two of us sitting there and commented, “From the look on your faces I am assuming the two of you are happy? “Oh yes dear Edward” I simply couldn’t help myself.
Then in that case as mama has given her consent I too wish you all the happiness.
(My brother had no idea as to my true sex all he knew was that I was his beloved sister.)

The very next day William came to my house and in front of mama offered me an engagement ring heavily inspired by the language of gems.
It was a gold band with a central emerald (for love and chastity) surrounded by small pearls (purity and innocence) interspersed with tiny onyx (reciprocal love).
He had clearly been thinking about this for some time as this ring was specially made for me.

He slipped it on my finger and I was betrothed apart from the formalities of the two families meeting and dining together this would be an easy process as our families were very close – I simply could not wait to tell Annabelle and Clarissa.

I didn’t have to wait as later that same day I received two visitors namely my two friends Annabelle had found out when Edward contacted her Father about the betrothal and of course she just had to tell Clarissa hence the visit.
They were both so excited for me Annabelle especially because I was going to be her sister-in-law.

For the dinner between the two families mama decreed that I should organise everything for it.
Traditionally the lady of the house (mama) organised the evening while the man (Edward) of the house took care of the beverages.

Needless to say I was working under mama’s eagle eye, as everything would reflect on her reputation.
The dinner party was for 12 people and started at 4pm dining at 5pm with a light supper at 11pm!

Mama allowed me to engage a string quartet for music throughout. So my task was to arrange the entertainment, speak to the cooks about the menu for both dinner and supper, send out the formal invitations and ensure that the dinner table was correctly laid.

This put everything I had learned over the last 8 years into practice and mama only had to intervene once when I tried to be a bit ambitious with one of the main courses.

I am so pleased to say that my betrothal dinner was well received by all this was by the number of compliments mama received over the quality and selection of foods and the table decorations and appearance.
I was exceedingly happy but after the worries leading up to the evening very weary.

Now we were betrothed we could become a bit more intimate we could stroll out alone, hold hands in public and take unchaperoned rides.
A hand around the waist, a chaste kiss, a pressing of the hand were allowed. We could also visit alone behind closed doors.
But we had to be dutifully separated by nightfall or overnight at country parties.

The first time we went out alone it felt wonderful and when he kissed me on my cheek I nearly swooned as I had been waiting five years for this.
Now I only had to wait until I was 21 another 3 years or so.

The next few months were for me a time of exceeding joy. William was with me when he could manage the time.
As by now his regiment was fully manned ready to return to Portugal and the war and did so in May 1809 when the 95th embarked to return to Portugal

I could now spend time with my future family by marriage as well as my own and this worked both ways as Annabelle could spend time at my house.
All this was for me to get to know Williams family, as I would be living close by them once we were married.

At the end of the season we moved back to the country having agreed that Annabelle and Clarissa would come to our hall for the hunting season. And we would spend Christmas with Lady Beaufort and Clarissa.

This was a very exciting phase of my life but I had to discuss something with mama and it was an extremely delicate subject - namely me having babies!
Of course I had an idea how animals reproduced you could not miss a ram tupping or a bull mounting but they were animals.
At church we were taught that human beings were not animals so now I wondered exactly how............

Mama told William that I could never have babies but Mother Boville said that I would develop like any other girl and I had undergone the operation so why could I not have babies?
It took me weeks to build up the courage to ask mama – we were busy sewing when I asked.
It must have taken mama completely by surprise as she pricked her finger with her sewing needle.

Mother gave a sigh then said, “I wondered when you would ask this my dear.”
“Mama mother Boville said that I would grow like a girl – so I have but you say that I can never have babies.”
The thought of now being able to give William a son and heir really upset me and I started weeping quietly.
Mother came and sat next to me took me in her arms to soothe my agitation.

Finally she said, “My dear to have children a woman is born very different to a man you were born male so you do not have the means of getting with child – I am so sorry for you.”
“I simply do not understand mama I have breasts why cannot I have a child!”

Mama sighed again, Charlotte my dear it is true you have developed into a comely young lady but you simply were not born to have children – I am so sorry my dear.
Then she sat for a while considering something - finally she told me, “Come with me my dear.”

We left the sitting room and went upstairs to mama’s bedchamber where mama did something most unusual. She undressed before me with me releasing her from her gown down to her chemise and drawers then she bade me to do the same.

Finally she showed me the difference between the two of us. I was blushing a deep crimson as I had never seen mama in this state of undress but finally I understood why I could never have children.
I was distraught William could never have an heir I could not give him what a wife should.

Between my racking sobs I declared, “Mama I cannot wed William it simply would not be fair on him for I cannot give him a heir.”

Mama took me by the shoulders and shook me, “Charlotte look at me.” My head was sunk low on my chest as I sobbed my heart out.
Mama shook me again demanding that I look at her. Finally my years of being trained into a docile young lady took over and slowly I looked at mama.

I could see tears running down her face and the look of compassion. She still held me by my shoulders and told me, “Do not be silly Charlotte! William is fully aware that you can never have children – remember I asked him if he fully understood what marrying you entailed!”

I looked at mama and sobbed, “Really Mama?” My mother looked steadily at me answering, “Really Charlotte it is you he loves - and I believe he truly loves you as he knows that you can never give birth.”
I took all this in which was difficult as I was totally distraught still crying I asked weakly, “Are you sure mama really sure?”

Mama answered steadily, “I am sure my dear. Remember what he said the day I agreed to your betrothal.”
I shook my head and admitted, “Not everything mama I was just so happy.”

Mama smiled saying, “Yes you were happy my child and radiant but I remember so very well.

William said ‘I know it will be a very unorthodox marriage but it is a marriage that I want because I love her dearly’!”

Mama quoting what William had said brought everything flooding back and I realised that he had fully understood what marrying me really meant and he was willing to loose the chance of being a father for the love of me!

As I contemplated this, the realisation came to me that it was me he loved above everything this caused my heart to fill with unconditional love.

Mama looked at me as the realisation dawned within me. With a look of amazement I gasped, “He really does love me does he not mama.”

She nodded and hugged me to her breast stroking my hair and quietly told me, “Yes my child I think he does – you have been so very lucky to find a man so selfless!”

We remained like this for some time while I composed myself eventually mama suggested that we dressed as I fastened her into her Morning Dress she stopped me saying, “Shall we got for a ride my dear as it’s such a nice day?”

For me this was a splendid idea as going into the country on horseback was like medicine to me.
So mama took her gown off and put on her bottle green riding habit then giving me a wrap I went to get changed carrying my gown while mama got the groom to make ready our horses.

As I donned my dark blue woollen riding habit I mulled over what I had learnt this morning and made a pledge to myself that I would speak to William giving him the chance to change his mind. Then if he was still certain he wanted to marry me I would make him so very proud of me.

Meeting mother in the hall we went outside and our horses were waiting – the grooms must have worked exceedingly hard to saddle and make ready the two beasts.
We climbed the mounting block and arranged our skirts around us then we set off at a steady walk.

As we rode my worries evaporated mama asked, “Do you feel better dear heart?” With a beaming smile I answered, “Oh yes mama things look so much different when you are out riding and thank you for this morning.”

“My darling it was the least I could do after all I moulded you into what you are now.”

I took this in and with a gentle smile I retorted, “And I thank you mama I simply would not change anything NOW I am so happy.”

Mama looked thoughtful and asked, “You would not change anything?”
I thought for a while then answered, “Well one thing I must admit,” “And what may that be” mother enquired.

With a rueful smile I replied, “I wish I could have children but that can never be so I must be content with my lot and make William a wife to be proud of.”

Mama looked fondly at me finally said, “I am so very proud of what you have become Charlotte and I know that William is proud of you now.”

With these final words we rode on never to mention the subject again mama knew that I was so very happy to be Charlotte and I knew that I had made the correct choice when I was 9 years old things simply felt right.

Historical Note: - In today’s society people will be amazed at the naivety of generations ago. It is true that people knew how animals conceived – but these were animals with the thinking and religion of the time humans were not animals they were above the animal hence the furore caused by Charles Darwin.
Girls would enter marriage with just the rudimentary knowledge of what to do. For many sex was a brutal surprise which became was a chore as in many cases it certainly was not a pleasure the whole idea was to produce as many children as possible in the hope that some would survive.
Childbirth itself was dangerous for the woman and child and the infant mortality rate was huge especially with the ‘lower classes’.

A Lady in the 1800’s: - An accomplished lady spoke several languages, played piano and sang, painted in watercolours and oils, did needlepoint, memorized every member of the monarchy, peerage, and gentry, including family background she learned classical history and geography (and many could recognise all the various regimental uniforms and insignia, particularly daughters of military men).
She also needed to be an elegant hostess, poised, and beautiful, while giving birth to as many children as possible. (Difficult for Charlotte)
If a debutante went through the “coming out” process, including a presentation to the Queen and attending all the social functions and she was expected to be married around the age of 21 or considered a failure.
A single woman at thirty was a hopeless spinster.

The Engagement Process. Once the finances of both parties were scrutinized and agreed to – (remember most marriages were a business arrangement between the families Charlotte was one of the lucky one’s as her’s was for love.)
The mother of the bride hosted a dinner party once the engagement was announced. The purpose of this dinner was to introduce the fiancé to his bride's family. A more formal evening party may have followed. Once the groom had been introduced to bride's family, the bride was then introduced to his. This could be a very trying time for a young girl, as a mother-in-law's eye was often critical.
After the engagement was announced to the family, the bride wrote to the rest of her friends with the news. At the same time, her mother wrote to the elders of these families
The engagement was finalized with a ring. The size and stone depended upon the groom's finances. They could be in the form of a love knot, a simple band, or a band embedded with different stones.
William fast tracked this part of the process as he knew that soon his regiment would be re-joining the war and that he could be away for years.
If the engagement was broken the girl suffered the consequences of a ruined reputation because of her previous behaviour.
Charlotte was willing to risk this by giving William the chance to break the engagement.
A honourable man never broke an engagement so as not to cause the girl discomfiture.
As callous as all this sounds there was true romance and love in these marriages why else did samples of heart-rending verses and flowery cards last through the ages for us to ponder and dream over?
Perhaps it was these very constraints and rules that made true love all the more special to those who found it. For lucky were the ones who found love within their class, and within the approval of their families.
Yet even those marriages that did not begin with love, often ended in a deep, endearing attachment that would be envied by many these days.

Charlotte continues to become the refined lady. After finding out why she cannot give the fiancée children she offers William a way out of the marriage.
While her beloved is with Wellington in Portugal, Charlotte organises a dinner party where she first meets Queen Victoria’s father Prince Edward.

William’s letters were full and very comprehensive and as usual part passionate love letters and part military report. Reading them they were an amusing but interesting mixture.

Not knowing how long it would be before I saw him again I put my thoughts and questions for him in a letter but I worded it ambiguously asking him if he was certain that he wanted to be married to a woman that could not conceive and telling him that should he want to not marry me I would understand and hoped that we would still be friends.

I was surprised at the speed of reply as in just over a month I was reading it. William told me in no uncertain terms that he had thought very carefully and it was me he loved; me he wanted to marry and me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with!

He also told me not to be silly as his feelings for me were pure and true and with the letter he enclosed a Bloodstone pendant with diamond surround with matching drop earrings. (Bloodstone for absence. Diamonds for harmony between us)
I cried when received this letter for he had declared his love for me - for who I am.

The rest of Williams letter was a report on how the war was progressing despite a forced march the main body of the 95th missed the pitched battle of Talavera so now they were deployed as the eye’s and ears of the main army scouting well ahead and what my beloved calls skirmishing with the French scouts.
He recounted how he had met up with Captain Sharpe again while he and his band of ruffians were on a special mission on the orders of Arthur Wellesley.

From his letters I knew that William regarded Captain Sharpe highly as an excellent soldier and leader and a superb shot with the Baker Rifle.
He also told me about the platoon Captain Sharpe commanded these are hand picked by the Captain and all are excellent shots being able to hit a target at 300 yards! But as he put it they were a bunch of ruffians fiercely loyal to Captain Sharpe.

I re-read my letter then hid it with the rest of Williams letters before I went to help Mama as we had a dinner party this evening so I had tasks to attend to.

Since the success of my betrothal dinner mama now allowed me to help he in organising dinner parties tonight this was for 15 people which was a strange number as dinner parties were always organised for couples.

However our family consisted of Edward, Mama and I and for the present time this made the numbers uneven sometimes Annabelle or Clarissa or a single lady of mama’s acquaintance would be present to partner Edward.
As for mama and myself everyone knew mama was widowed and I was betrothed.

I dressed carefully for dinner as we had for company some friends of Edward. Anna helped me with my corset, which was especially for the gown I had selected.

My gown was a beautiful golden colour consisting of a satin flowing skirt finishing at my ankles the bodice was an overdress, which had a scooped neckline and short puffball sleeves. The shortness of these sleeves restricted my arm movements somewhat but made my movements feminine.

My boned corset was made for the gown. The satin outer of it matched my gown, as it was an integral part of it being seen under the silk floral lace overdress.
This overdress fell from my shoulders to the hem of my gown this was of fine silk lace golden in colour with floral decorations around the hem. This delicate overdress had the short puffball sleeves.

Of course I wore my pendant and earrings that William had sent me. When I looked at my reflection in the mirror I was exceedingly pleased with what I saw I was every inch a Young Lady of Fashion I stroked the pendant that nestled between my soft breasts and thought of my love all those miles away.

Our company was very impressive consisting of Prince Edward who was the forth in line to the throne. He was an impressive man in his mid 40’s going slightly bald.

He was Governor of Gibraltar but for some reason he could not return there so he was now Ranger of Hampton Court.
I found him to be exceedingly pleasant as a raconteur and wit he made the dinner party flow as he was a very confident speaker.

Madame Saint-Laurent accompanied him she as I understood was his mistress. (Must speak to mama about what a mistress is).
Also present was Lord and lady Beaufort and several other people that Edward knew from the House of Lords.

It was now 1810 and I would soon be my 19th birthday thanks to mama’s insistence that I learn about current affairs and politics I was really interested in the conversation the men were having though of course it was not polite for me a woman to offer an opinion.

I also had to maintain conversation with the ladies around the table all in all the evening was a really jolly affair.
I gathered that my brother really moved in exalted circles being close friends with Princes, Lords, Admirals, generals and the like and due to his experiences and steady thinking was sought after for his council.

The Prince flirted with me outrageously but I maintained a polite distance Mama mentioned that I was betrothed to an officer in the 95th. The prince called them a regiment of ruffians who lacked discipline I was upset at this but maintained my docile front.

This caused a heated discussion from a General present who defended the 95th robustly saying that they were the eyes and ears of the army and worked best using their initiative and it was regiments like these that tipped the balance in Portugal.

The gentlemen retired to the billiard room while us ladies went to the drawing room for refreshments.
After the gentlemen re-joined us mama asked me to play the piano and sing which of course I did as I was requested. I was also asked to play my harp – this was an instrument that I loved playing and I cold loose myself in it’s beautiful sound.
After I had finished the Prince kissed my hand complementing me on my singing and playing saying, “A beautiful young Lady with a beautiful voice.”

This compliment made me blush with pleasure. The party broke up around midnight. After everyone had departed my dear brother thanked both mama and I for the success of the evening and mentioned that we could well be seeing more of our guests over the coming years as he (Edward) was now an official advisor.
(Whatever that meant I had no idea)

1810 passed slowly for me William was still fighting in Portugal his letters arrived very infrequently but when they did it brought pleasure to me.
They were still the quaint mix of passionate love letter and military report he told me in one of these letters that the 95th had taken part in the Battle of Brussace where 25000 British Troops plus a similar amount of Portuguese troops took on 65,000 French.

Lord Wellesley ordered that all his troops should take positions slightly below the crest of the mountains so the French had to fight up to them and also hide the exact numbers of the British. According to William it was splendid as the baker rifles were killing the French officers at 300 yards leaving their troops in confusion.
It was a success for the Allied forces with the French loosing 4,500 dead or wounded while the Allies only lost 1250 dead or wounded.

The love letter side told me that he missed me very much and spent a lot of time looking at my portrait that he couldn’t wait to kiss my cheek and touch my soft silken skin a total contrast in one letter.
I must admit that while I found his description of the battles mildly interesting I adored his passionate letters.

Mama decided that for my wedding gown we would reuse the court dress that I had worn when I was presented to the King.
Due to the out-dated style of this gown there was a lot of material, which could be used by a seamstress to make a really fashionable wedding gown. So while in London we visited a seamstress who took all my measurements and my court dress promising to make me a stylish wedding gown and accessories.

Mama explained to me what a mistress was much to my shock as I had no idea what so ever.
After the episode where mama showed me the difference between her and I we were much more at ease speaking about things like this.

She realised that my forthcoming wedding and my married life would be very unconventional so she explained to me a man’s needs and discussed how I could best satisfy my husband.
I found all of this interesting and as it would pleasure my husband I vowed to try them once married.

We moved back to the country and Lady Beaufort and Ffinch along with Annabelle and Clarissa. They remained with us for three months and we had a splendid time when Edward was home we would spend the day in the country painting and having a picnic I took my small harp and we three would sing and play.

Sometimes our mothers would accompany us when it was a really special day.
Edward would take the dogcart with all our painting accoutrements.
While we ladies would ride our horses: for luncheon a cart would come from the house with everything we needed for a picnic plus servants to prepare everything.

Late we would dress for dinner and spend the evening playing parlour games or playing music and singing.
I adored dressing up and some days I would wear up to five different dresses.
My wardrobes were full of gowns dresses skirts with matching tops in the 10 years I had become a young lady of fashion with (apparently) an excellent dress sense.

My wardrobe consisted of Morning dresses these were high-cut and long-sleeved. Constructed of sprigged or plain muslin, wool, or other fabrics, a morning gown was often a “round gown” (bodice and skirt being one piece).
If we were remaining at home this would be worn all day until dinner.

If we were going to a town like Harrogate we would wear a walking dress these could be short or long sleeved, depending on the weather, but generally covered the chest. Its hem might be a bit shorter than a morning gown's for ease of walking.

Of course for Promenading we had really fine dresses worn when one was on display--walking through Hyde Park, perhaps, or taking a carriage ride with mama or William. My gowns were made of more expensive fabrics than a walking dress.

Then of course these were my very favourites evening gowns and ball gowns I absolutely adores these the fabrics the cut and the exquisite feeling when wearing them excited all of my senses.

My evening gowns were low-cut and extensively trimmed, evening gowns were be made from of muslin, silk, satin, gauze, crepe, or any number of fabrics. I had a selection of long and short-sleeved gowns depending on the time of year.

Ball Gowns these I absolutely adored they were my very favourite gown. Mine were elegant and exquisitely trimmed made of the finest quality fabrics.
Some had a slip (usually satin), which I wore under an over-dress of gauze, sarsnet, or crepe.

Most were in soft colours such as pink or blue though I had some in cerulean, scarlet, Pomona green and bright yellow these were worn over a white slip. All were trimmed in embroidery, lace, artificial flowers, beads, flounces, and scallops of course they all had a coordinated headdress.

So you see after ten years of preparing to be a fashionable woman this is what I became and I adored every second of my life.

Historical Note: in this period a lady’s wardrobe was a very complicates affair apart from the gorgeous dresses and gowns there were outer wear, bonnets and lots of accessories
Outerwear Pelisse: This is something like a long coat. It can completely cover the gown, or be cut knee-length. They were close-fitting and fastened in the front. Depending on the weather or the occasion, they were sewn from wool, velvet, brocade, or kerseymere.
Spencer: Something like a jacket, this coat covered the sleeves and bodice. Sometimes they were collarless. The spencer is cut quite short to accentuate the era’s high-waist gowns. They could be constructed of wool, silk, satin, or other fabrics, and were sometimes quilted.
Cloak: Depending on fabric and style, these could be worn for dressy occasions or daytime tromps through the woods. Hoods were optional.
Mantle: Similar to a cloak, a mantle could be any length and fastened at the neck. They were made of fur, wool, or velvet.
Accessories
Shawl: A mandatory accessory. Lightweight shawls of muslin or gauze were worn in warmer months or with ball gowns, and heavier shawls of cashmere (goat hair) or fine wool were a necessity in cooler weather. Shawls were often brightly colored and patterned.
Bonnets: Bonnets were worn outdoors, and when one paid a short visit or attended church, one did not remove one’s hat or outer garments. They were made of straw or any number of fabrics, from silk to velvet. Feathers, ribbons, artificial flowers, and other trim were often removed and added, to adapt the bonnet to match new ensembles.
For evening events, however, a headdress, toque, or turban was the standard. These were made of satin or silk and they were embellished with jewels or ostrich feathers. Turbans were popular with older ladies.
Caps: Married women, widows, and females who were “on the shelf” wore caps of lace or muslin indoors. Caps could be simple or downright frilly.
Gloves: For formal occasions (including dancing), long, white kid gloves were worn. Short gloves sufficed for daytime, and could be purchased in kid, colored silk, York tan, or wool for cooler months.
Fichu: A triangular piece of netting, lace, or sheer muslin, which is wrapped around the neck and tucked into the bodice of the gown, provides modesty when wearing a low-cut gown.
Muff: PETA would not have approved of the muffs ladies used to keep their hands warm. They were large hollow cylinders made of ermine, sable, swan’s-down, or sealskin.
Parasol: These shaded a lady’s fair skin from the brutal English sun. The frames were made of bamboo, cane, or telescoping steel, and carried by the handle.
These items were not optional a lady was expected to use them as dictated by the fashion of the day failure to do so could result in social ostracism.

This is the year that Charlotte departs England for a short while with her brother who is working for the government she is to all intents a young lady of quality. They are accompanied my Charlottes Ladies maid Anna and bound for Portugal.
Charlotte decides that Anna is more suited to be a companion rather than a ladies maid but before this could happen poor Anna undergoes a fate worse than death.

The year continued and soon it was Christmas this year we would spend it with Lady Beaufort as usual Lady Ffinch and darling Annabelle were there now they were virtually family to me Annabelle and I were like sisters but no matter how close the two of us were Clarissa was as much loved by the both of us.

The festive season was not as happy as all the brothers were abroad waging war but we made do and enjoyed ourselves as best we could.

Then it was 1811 and the was dragged on in this year news from America spoke of a slave revolt outside a place called New Orleans where the slaves lost and a great amount were executed and their heads displayed on posts as a warning to others – there were some grisly pictures in the ‘Thunderer’

Also after much hard fighting the French were finally driven out of Portugal! I thought that with this William would be coming home - but no the campaign then went into Spain.
So 1811 comes to a close this year we spent Christmas at Lady Ffinch’s estate in Leicestershire but it was quite a somber affair as Clarissa’s youngest brother had been killed.
Henry was a lovely man, when I first met him all those years ago he was 15 years old; now he would never see his young son that Gloria (his wife) had given birth to the child was now 18 months old.
Needless to say Clarissa was grief stricken and we tried our best to soothe her. I believe it was because there were no remains to inter made things harder for the family.

1812 began; maybe my William would be home this year – but again no as they were still in Spain bogged down in a period of small skirmishes.
Then in February a letter from my beloved told of the Siege of Ciudad Rodrigo this was a bloody battle with the English loosing some 318 poor souls but the captured an entire French siege train as well as some 1500 prisoners as William seriously informed me the capture of Ciudad Rodrigo opened up the northern invasion corridor from Portugal into Spain. It also allowed Wellington to proceed to Badajoz on the southern corridor.
I wish that in his letters he would simply tell me that he loved me and missed me. All this military stuff simply made me worry that I would be a widow before a wife.

My next letter arrived in May from the tone of it my William was both despondent and proud of his men.
As the storming of the city of Badajoz was one of the bloodiest so far and was William told me it was a costly victory with some 4,800 soldiers killed in a few short hours of intense fighting during the storming of the breaches as the siege drew to an end.
Enraged at the huge amount of casualties they suffered in seizing the city, the troops broke into houses and stores consuming vast quantities of liquor with many of them then going on a rampage.
Threatening their officers and ignoring their commands to desist, and even killing several officers the troops massacred about 4,000 Spanish civilians. It took three days before the men were brought back into order.

William was sickened by this mindless slaughter of the Spanish but was proud that his men did not take part in the looting in fact they were part of the army that restored order and for this good work William received a battlefield promotion to Captain.

My letter back to him was very loving and I hoped comforting I told him how much I missed him, how I missed his loving touch and couldn’t wait for him to hold me and kiss me. (Mama would be scandalized at my forwardness) But I felt that this is what William needed to hear.

July and I was sitting daydreaming when a servant entered and asked me to go to my brother Edward’s study. In truth this was a pleasant distraction as I was sitting there wondering when I would next see William – it had been so very long.

When I entered mama was also there so I thought the worst and started to move from foot to foot. Mama chided me saying, “Charlotte how many times have I told you! A lady does NOT fidget!” Eyes downcast I murmured, “Sorry mama -------but”

“Charlotte” my brother started, “With my work for the government I have been asked to sail to Portugal.” “Oh Edward will you see William” I gasped.
“Child let me finish” Edward said smiling. “Sorry Edward it’s just...........” I tailed off not knowing what to say.

He smiled sympathetically saying; “I know it has been a long time for you. But maybe just maybe we will see William.”

It took me a while to understand what he had just said and when the light dawned inside my head I gasped and stammered, “W, w, we? You said we! What do you mean?”

“What Edward means dear it that you are to accompany him to Portugal I think it will broaden your outlook on life and maybe - just maybe you will see William.” Mama told me with a gentle smile.

I flew to my brother hugging him thanking him – I was so very excited this would be a great adventure – little did I know.

We were leaving in 3 weeks taking a ship to Lisbon so for me it was a flurry of activity packing.
As we would be away for at least 3 months Mama made sure that I packed accordingly.
Sensible dresses which were slightly shorter and made from lighter cloth than what we wore in England some evening gowns, skirts and blouses. Also included were sensible shoes and boots as well as riding habits.
My ladies maid Anna was even more excited than I was this was a real adventure for her being a country girl.

Finally it was time for us to leave the first part of the journey was by a ‘yellow bounder’ as it was commonly called this was to take up to London where Edward was to collect his orders and dispatches from the Admiralty.

The real name for this type of transport was a Postchaise these were rented as were the teams of horses so we could make London in 2 days as the teams were changed regularly.
From London we took the fast mail coach to Plymouth where we would be boarding our ship for Portugal.

In Plymouth we acquired rooms at the Minerva Inn for the night as we were boarding our ship HMS Hydra in the morning. This was the first time I had ever been in a common tavern and I found the sights and smells overpowering it was a mixture of tobacco smoke, cooking, stale sweat and ale.

The clientele in the part we entered seemed to consist of Naval Officers some of whom Edward knew though with his ravaged face and one arm they didn’t recognize him.
We sat at a table for some food Anna was very uncomfortable sitting with Edward and I but my dear brother put her at ease telling her that this would be a common happening and to enjoy her adventure. She looked at me and I added that not only was she my maid but my friend so for this trip why should she not dine with us.

The food was basic mutton stew, minced collops, mutton chops and assorted pies served of course with beer.
As people recognized Edward and of course the attraction of two comely girls our table was soon surrounded by a group of officers.

After we had eaten the company grew a bit noisier as more brandy and ale were consumed. Much to my disappointment and certainly Anna’s (as she had the attention of a very handsome midshipman) we were packed upstairs with the admonishment from my brother to dress sensibly for tomorrow.

We went and laid out our dresses for the morning; mama realizing that Anna’s wardrobe was very Spartan had insisted that some of my older clothes be altered to fit Anna’s frame – she is slightly more buxom than I.
The result for this was that her wardrobe was similar to mine though a bit more worn.
All our dresses were made from light cotton, lawn or linen suitable for the climate of Portugal. Our underwear was similar the main difference being that Anna wore the open style drawers where I mainly used the ones closed.

The next morning I dressed in a lavender dress with long sleeves made from the finest lawn it was gathered under my breasts and came to just above my ankles. My shoes were black ankle boots with a small heel.
Anna tried to dress herself but couldn’t fasten the dress at the back so I helped her dress despite her saying, “T’aint right miss I’s supposed to be your maid not t’other way round.”
“Anna dear” I explained, “We are the only two girls here we have to help each other now for goodness sake stand still so I can fasten your dress – then I’ll do your hair!” I added as an afterthought.

This started her arguing again, “But Miss t’aint right you serving me you’re a lady.”
“Oh Anna” I sighed, “Please be quiet if you are going to be my companion you are going to look presentable.”
“But Miss Charlotte I’m your maid not your companion.” I had made my mind up on this for our adventure Anna as going to become my companion we would help each other and I would teach her the basic rules of being a companion.

As I brushed her hair out I found that it was greasy, dirty and a bit smelly, “Anna when did you last wash your hair?”
She looked at me amazed, “Why never Miss water is bad for you – everyone knows that.”
“Fiddlesticks” I snapped we are going to wash your hair now and no argument!
“But Mistress” she pleaded, “I’ll catch’t fevers and die!”
“Absolute rubbish” I snapped as I called for several buckets of hot and cold water.
When these had arrived I grabbed the unwilling Anna and proceeded to wash her hair with my mixture for hair cleaning totally ignoring her squeals and protestations.

There was a knock at the door, “Come” I shouted and Edward entered looking at the scene with amazement.
“Charlotte what on earth are you doing?” I glared at him snapping, “It must be obvious even to you! I’m not having my companion smelling like a midden!”
“”Companion?” he queried. Again I glared at him with steely determination, “Yes Companion” I snapped ready for an argument.

With a look of amusement he commented, “You are so like mama – companion it is then. Please haste as we are leaving in an hour or so.” Then in a slightly raised voice he finished with, “Anna! Stop your squalling next you will be getting washed all over – if I know my sister!”
“What an excellent idea Edward please have a tub and more water sent up.” This elicited another wail of despondency from Anna and a grim smile from my brother as he departed.

I had finished washing her hair and started drying it this was a long process as Anna had thick black hair down to her waist.
A tub was brought along with more hot water and a distraught Anna was stripped off and I made her get into the tub.
Shivering in fright she pleaded with me telling me she would die from the water.
“Nonsense” I snapped I have a bath every month and so will you from now on!” With another wail she sat down and I handed her my soap instructing her, “Now WASH your self girl!”
After she was thoroughly clean I rinsed her off, trimmed her hairs under her arms then she toweled herself dry.

Looking fresh and rosy cheeked she dressed again her dress was yellow with coloured flowers gathered under her voluptuous breasts. This time when I sat her down to do her hair she smelled clean and fresh her hair shining with health.

After I had finished she looked at herself in the small mirror and in a voice full of wonderment she gasped, “Miss I look’s like a Lady!” Smiling I told her “Yes you do now I have to teach you to talk and act like a companion.” I passed her the yellow bonnet that went with her dress and as we made ready to go a knock came on the door.
“Come” I shouted Edward entered and looking at Anna with amazement said, “I gathered from the lack of sound that either you had finished or Anna had died from the water!”

This set Anna off again, “See Miss I told you I would die; I told you!” This annoyed me and I snapped at my brother, “Edward! I have just calmed her down – now please tell her you jest then we can leave!”
With a trace of a grin my brother assured Anna, “Anna, Charlotte is right I only speak in jest – we bathe regularly and we have not died so can we now leave?”

Anna left with some baggage Edward looked at me and asked, “Charlotte what is this companion? Anna is your ladies maid. What will mama think?”

“Edward Anna and I have been together many years for this adventure it feels right to me – as for mama I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”

My brother smiled grimly adding, “You and mama are so alike I would like to be there when you lock horns.”

With that we left the inn and walked the short distance to the harbour wall and the steps that would let us board the boat.

In my ignorance I thought the ship that was taking us to Portugal would be alongside the quay – but no!
As we reached the head of some steep and very slimy looking stone steps my brother shouted, “HYDRA”.
“Aye, Aye Sir” came the call from a small rowing boat amongst the throng of small boats. (I found out later that this was named a barge and one of the larger boats a ship carries)

The rowing boat came alongside the steps and with a frightened look at me Anna descended the slippery steps and into the bobbing boat -with the help of a very brawny sailor. I followed assisted by the same sailor finally Edward.
The boat pulled away and sped towards the ships that were at anchor in the sound.
It was very bouncy and I felt decidedly unwell, looking at Anna she was a strange tinge of whitish/green.
But before either of us could be ill we rounded the back of this very large ship and I saw the name Hydra – this was to be our transport!

The wooden sides of this ship towered over us “Edward how on earth are we going to board? We can never climb up those steps in our dresses?” I was somewhat alarmed at this as the steps were little more than protruding pieces of wood all the way up the ships side with a rope either side.

The young man steering the boat spoke (I found out later he was what was called a Midshipman) “Never fear m’lady we have a chair to lift you on board.” As he said this he nodded towards a contraption hanging from one of the masts – actually as I later found out this was called a ‘yard’ which the sails hang from.

I looked at this decidedly flimsy looking thing hanging from a rope and swallowed. Anna clutched my hand and begged, “Miss Charlotte I b’aint going on that thing!”
I felt as much terror as her but knew I mustn’t show it so putting a brave face on I said in a steady voice, Don’t worry Anna I will go first then you will follow!”

Historical Note:- In the 1800’s the difference between a Lady’s Maid and a Lady’s Companion was vast. A maid was usually from a lowborn family and took care of the needs of her mistress. A maid had no rights at all and could be punished for the slightest misdemeanour.
A Lady’s Companion on the other hand was from a middle class family like a vicar or doctor she was educated and could attend functions with the Lady and converse like a Lady.
Charlotte has to teach Anna everything and even so if Charlotte’s mother does not agree Anna could be dismissed.

HMS Hydra launched in 1797 was a fifth-rate frigate of the Royal Navy, armed with a main battery of twenty-eight 18-pounder guns.
She was built to the design of the captured French frigate Melpomene (taken in 1794).
Ships Boats:- The reliance of sailing ships on the wind for propulsion meant that boats were needed for many reasons - for carrying men ashore, for moving the ship by means of cables and anchors, for communicating between ships (and between ship and shore), and for bringing stores and water aboard. Several types of ship's boats were required and each had a separate function or use. The largest boat was the launch, which was well adapted for carrying heavy weights. A barge was narrower, and often longer than a launch, and was intended mainly for rowing - and was the preferred vessel for carrying naval officers ashore and transferring officials parties. A pinnace was slightly smaller than a barge, and had fewer oars. Cutters were good sea boats, clinker built, and an indispensable part of every ship's equipment.
Most ship's boats were designed for both rowing and sailing, though, in general, some were more suitable at one than the other. Pinnaces and barges were used primarily for rowing, while cutters were better at sailing. Captains often added other types of boats according to size and availability - these could include a jollyboat (which was essentially a small cutter) and a gig. The larger boats were stored in the waist of the ship, while cutters and jollyboats were stowed near, or suspended from the stern on davits where they could be released easily (and quickly in the case of an emergency).

Charlotte and Anna board the ship that is taking her brother to Portugal. Anna catches the eye of a young midshipman and romance blossoms at the same time Charlotte starts to teach Anna her letters and numbers as to be a Ladies Companion Anna needs some education.

It was with a strange sense of foreboding that I watched the flimsy chair being lowered to the pitching boat.
The closer it got the stronger it looked so by the time came for me to sit in it and get hoisted onto the ship I was a bit more confident.
Edward told me how to sit in the contraption adding somewhat unnecessarily, “Hold on tight Charlotte” I certainly held very tightly on as in one rapid movement I was some 10’ above the small rowing boat and heading skywards at what seemed to me an alarming rate.
As I cleared the rail of the ship I could see that there were six brawny seamen hauling me I landed on the ship as light as a feather just as my brother reached the deck (how he had climbed that ladder with just one arm I simply don’t know)

He turned and saluted the back of the boat and was greeted by an impressive looking man of about 30 who was the captain of the Hydra.
An officer escorted me any I was introduced to the Captain - just as a very scared looking Anna was landed onto the deck of the frigate.

I looked around with interest the ship was about 150 feet long and quite narrow I would guess about 40 feet there were a row of black cannon down each side I counted 14 then at the front of the ship there were 2 smaller guns and 2 huge guns.
These black guns were in stark contrast to the snowy white of the floor (decks) it looked very crowded with people and there was a mass of rope to control the sails.

I was awestruck thinking that if I had remained a boy this would have been my life – but here I was, an attractive young lady in awe of the complexities of this ship.
We were taken to a small cabin where Anna and I were to sleep my brother was shown an even smaller cabin. We were told that we would dine with the Captain and that a marine sentry would be posted at our door.

Then the captain left us saying that he now had to put to sea. I looked around with Anna then somewhat worriedly she said, “Mistress Charlotte I can’t sleep in the same room t’aint right.”

“Sit down Anna” I told her then taking her hand I explained, “Anna we have known each other for over 5 years, from today you are no longer my maid but my companion.
We will help each other dress but you have such a lot to learn and we are going to start teaching you how to act like a gentlewoman!”

“But mistress” I stopped her with a wave of my hand, “From now on please address me as Miss Charlotte or even Charlotte!”
Anna looked aghast at this stammering, “B, b, but t’aint right mistress!” “Anna! What have I just told you to call me?” I asked patiently as I knew that these next few weeks would be hard for her.

“Sorry Miss Charlotte but--------“ “No buts Anna” I told her and we are going to have to work on your speech luckily we will have some time while we are at sea. In the meantime try and talk like Miss M as I have heard you imitating her! Also when we dine copy what I do.”

Anna blushed when she heard this as at home a maid could get dismissed just for imitating her ‘betters’.
Just then the ship heeled and the two of us clutched each other as we had nearly fell off the truckle beds we were sitting on.

There was a knock on the door and my brother told us, “The captain has given permission for you two ladies to come on deck and watch the ship leaving harbour.”

I felt we had been in this cabin long enough so I answered through the door, “We’ll just get our cloaks Edward then we will be with you.” Then I whispered to Anna, “From now on you speak like you do when imitating Miss M – understand Anna?”

In a voice that resembled a young Miss M Anna answered, “Yes Miss Charlotte.” This caused me to giggle which set Anna giggling.
I managed to tell her, “Absolutely perfect Miss Anna absolutely perfect.”
Then huddled in our cloaks we followed Edward on to the deck and observed the activity from a safe and out of the way place on the poop deck.

This is what Edward called it and as we stood there watching the sailors swarm over the masts like ants he told us what was happening.

We found out that a Frigate is a very fast fighting ship that masts are there to hang the yards on which in turn have the sails attached.

The mast pointing out of the front is called the ‘bowsprit’ and the front is called the bow while the back of the boat is the stern!

On a ship anything you stand on is a deck! And anything that is a ceiling is a deck head! Ropes are stays and halliards and every sail has a name! All very confusing to a young lady such as I!

The ship steadied on its course out of Plymouth and the captain came over to my brother. “Sir Edward now we are underway would you come below so we can discuss your mission.”
Now this made me prick my ears ‘mission’? What was my brother doing?

The captain then shouted, “Mr Newsome please be so good as to escort these ladies and show them the ship.” A young man approached and introduced himself as James Newsome midshipman.

I could see that this task he had been given pleased him greatly and glancing at Anna I could see she was pleased. He was the very same young man that had been in charge of the barge.

I enjoyed the tour of the ship everything was explained to us but most of the things we did not understand.
Anna was perfect her speech was very lady like and she acted like a young Miss M!
James was infatuated with her and this made me smile and reflect that with training anyone could act the part of a Lady.

Finally we went to our cabin once inside I grinned at Anna saying, “Well how does it feel to be a gentlewoman?”

Anna gave me a beaming grin answering, “Oh Charlotte it was wonderful thank you so much isn’t John attentive?” then she clapped her hand to her mouth, “I’m so sorry Miss Charlotte it b’aint happen again.”

Automatically I corrected her, “It will not happen again Anna. And what will not happen again pray?”
Blushing furiously Anna whispered, “I called you by your given name I’m so sorry Mistress.”

I gave an exasperated sigh, “Anna I told you earlier to what to call me. Charlotte is my name! So please when we are alone call me by my name. When we are in company if it is easier for you then Miss Charlotte.”

“Yes Mi------ sorry Charlotte I’ll try and remember.” I smiled encouragingly, “Good remember you are no longer a maid but a companion you must speak like Miss M all the time it really needs to be second nature to you – oh and while I remember can you read and write?”

She hung her head and whispered, “No Mi----- Charlotte, sorry” Briskly I answered, “No problem I will have to teach you.”

So this is how we whiled away the time for the ten days it took for us to reach Lisbon Anna was very bright as she picked up things very quickly.
So I set off teaching Anna how to use knives and forks correctly I also started to teach her the alphabet and simple mathematics also making sure she spoke correctly.

AND I noticed that her and Mr Newsome saw a lot of each other. The day before we were due to reach Lisbon Anna entered the cabin is some distress,
“Oh Miss Charlotte; John want to write to me! How do I tell him that I cannot read or write?”

I put down the sewing I was doing and commented, “You don’t! It will be a spur for you to learn to read and write faster. I’ll read you any letters and until you have a good script will write your reply.”

“Oh Miss thank you,” she cried as she hugged me in gratitude then she realised what she had done and started stammering her apology at touching me. I embraced her telling her not to worry we are companions now.

“Miss I have a question” I looked at her answering, “Go on.” She took a deep breath then gathering her courage she asked, “What will her ladyship say about me being your companion?”

This was a good question and one, which I wasn’t sure about. Yes mama is a progressive woman but had I progressed too much?
I looked at Anna and honestly answered, “I simply don’t know.” And we left it at that.

The next morning Anna and I were on deck looking at the dark smudge on the horizon. I felt a presence and Edward was stood behind us. “Portugal” he commented continuing, “The wind is fair we should make land before nightfall – the Captain assures me.”

The weather was warmer so Anna and I went below to change into lighter clothes I selected a cotton lilac skirt adorned in flowers with a contrasting linen top of cream with small dots that fastened down the front I had a bonnet that matching my skirt.

For Anna I selected a lemon cotton dress simple but it really suited her colouring it gathered under her bust and had short floaty sleeves; it too had a matching bonnet.
Underneath we had the minimum underwear light cotton drawers and a light corset our stockings were of the finest cotton and we had leather button up shoes.

Anna packed our clothes away ready for going ashore with us. Then we went for breakfast after which we both went on deck and watched the coast approach.
We made sure that we were in a part of the poop deck that didn’t interfere with the working of the ship.

The coast slowly turned from a dark smudge into something where colours could be seen first the browns then greens then buildings could be seen along with the red tiles of their roofs.

The ship entered the River Tagus and land was now on both sides of us!
The ship moved slowly as the wind was very light and the sun very hot the river was arrow straight then suddenly it widened out into the most beautiful bay I would estimate a mile across this I found out was called the Mar de Palha or in English the Sea of Straw.

I could see why it was called this as with the sun and ripples on the water it looked like a field of mown straw.

The bay was beautiful surrounded by hills and the scenery was spectacular but we were still some distance from the city but we could see the city of Lisbon in all its glory basking in the midday sun I put up my parasol and the two of us sheltered under it keeping the worst of the sun at bay.

As we approached the ship was suddenly turned and the huge sails cracked as they went dead at a shout the large anchor was cut free and soon the vessel was anchored swinging gently seemingly in a field of straw.

Lisbon is on the North side of the River Tagus the poets refer to the Tagus as Lisbon’s Lover as it embraces the city. The city itself is built on hills similar to the pictures I had seen of Rome.
Apparently in the 1750’s an earthquake had destroyed much of the city but now 60 years later it had been rebuilt most splendidly.

I gave a sigh and said to Anna, “It would seem that we are going to be lifted in that chair thing again.” A gasp escaped from Anna but she straightened up saying, “Well Miss Charlotte we’ve done it before and no harm came to us!” I smiled at her answering, “Indeed Anna, Indeed.”

Over the last week it had become quite natural for her to speak in a refined manner. At first she sounded like a young Miss M but now her voice sounded natural for her age I reflected that she would make a very good companion, as she was willing and quick to learn.

Things happened very quickly after this like a well-oiled machine the chair was rigged from the yardarm and the cutter was launched our trunks appeared on deck and were loaded into a smaller rowing boat.

Then it was our turn as we approached the chair Anna whispered, “May I go first Miss – to make sure it’s safe.”

Smiling I replied, “Certainly Anna – thank you.” Neither of us really liked this contraption so her offer was welcome. Though I knew that it was safe to use, as the sailors were meticulous in everything they did.

As I was lifted through the air to the waiting cutter I saw that it was Mr Newsome at the helm and smiled wondering how he had managed this and resolving to give him and Anna time to say goodbye.

After I was seated safely in the cutter I reached into my reticule and passed Anna a piece of paper with the address for his letters so they would find her.
I told her what was on the paper and she looked so very grateful thanking me profusely.

With that the cutter left the side of the Hydra and set off into the gentle swell heading for the port of Lisbon.

Historical Note: HMS Hydra was commissioned in April 1797 she weighted 1,024 tons; length 148 feet with a beam of 39’ 6”. She had a draft of 12’ 8” with a crew of 284 men at times 315 men.
The armament was Upper Deck 28 x 18-pounder guns: Quarter deck 12 x 32 pounder carronade’s: Forecastle Head 2 x 12 pounder guns and 2 x 32 pounder carronades
The carronade is a short smoothbore, cast iron cannon, which was used by the Royal Navy and first produced by the Carron Company, an ironworks in Falkirk, Scotland, UK. It was used from the 1770s to the 1850s. Its main function was to serve as a powerful, short-range anti-ship and anti-crew weapon.
After Admiral Lord Nelson defeated the French and Spanish fleets at the battle of Trafalgar on 21 October 1805, four French frigates and the brig Furet took refuge at Cadiz, where they remained into February 1806. To try to lure them out, Vice-Admiral Cuthbert Collingwood pulled his ships-of-the-line ten leagues out to sea, leaving only Hydra, under the Captain George Mundy, and the brig-sloop Moselle in close blockade. On 23 February a strong easterly wind drove the British off their station, which led the French commander, Captain Louis-Charles-Auguste Delamarre de Lamellerie, to seize the opportunity to escape. On the evening of 26 February Hydra and Moselle were three leagues west of the Cadiz lighthouse when they sighted the French vessels. Mundy began firing rockets and alarm guns to alert Collingwood, while sailing parallel to the escaping French squadron. Mundy then sent Carden in Moselle to try locate the British fleet. On the morning of 27 February Moselle reached Collingwood, who despatched three frigates to try to catch the French.

In the meantime, Hydra had managed to isolate the French brig from her companions, and after a two-hour chase, captured the Furet. The French frigates did not come to their brig's aid, and after firing a pro forma broadside, Furet surrendered. Furet was armed with eighteen long 9-pounder guns, and had a crew of 130 men under the command of lieutenant de vaisseau Demay.

Note: for those that have read this story before this is a slight re-write of the original chapter 12.

This is the year that Charlotte departs England for a short while with her brother who is working for the government she is to all intents a young lady of quality. They are accompanied my Charlottes Ladies maid Anna and bound for Portugal.
Charlotte decides that Anna is more suited to be a companion rather than a ladies maid but before this could happen poor Anna undergoes a fate worse than death – she has a full body bath!

The year continued and soon it was Christmas this year we would spend it with Lady Beaufort as usual Lady Ffinch and darling Annabelle were there now they were virtually family to me Annabelle and I were like sisters but no matter how close the two of us were Clarissa was as much loved by the both of us.

The festive season was not as happy as all the brothers were abroad waging war but we made do and enjoyed ourselves as best we could.

Then it was 1811 and the was dragged on in this year news from America spoke of a slave revolt outside a place called New Orleans where the slaves lost and a great amount were executed and their heads displayed on posts as a warning to others – there were some grisly pictures in the ‘Thunderer’

Also after much hard fighting the French were finally driven out of Portugal! I thought that with this William would be coming home - but no the campaign then went into Spain.
So 1811 comes to a close this year we spent Christmas at Lady Ffinch’s estate in Leicestershire but it was quite a sombre affair as Clarissa’s youngest brother had been killed. Henry was a lovely man when I first met him all those years ago he was 15 years old now he would never see his young son that Gloria (his wife) had given birth to the child was now 18 months old.
Needless to say Clarissa was grief stricken and we tried our best to soothe her.
I believe it was because there were no remains to inter made things harder.

1812 began; maybe my William would be home this year – but again no as they were still in Spain bogged down in a period of small skirmishes.
Then in February a letter from my beloved told of the Siege of Ciudad Rodrigo this was a bloody battle with the English loosing some 318 poor souls but the captured an entire French siege train as well as some 1500 prisoners as William seriously informed me the capture of Ciudad Rodrigo opened up the northern invasion corridor from Portugal into Spain. It also allowed Wellington to proceed to Badajoz on the southern corridor.
I wish that in his letters he would simply tell me that he loved me and missed me. All this military stuff simply made me worry that I would be a widow before a bride.

My next letter arrived in May from the tone of it my William was both despondent and proud of his men.
As the storming of the city of Badajoz was one of the bloodiest so far and was William told me it was a costly victory with some 4,800 soldiers killed in a few short hours of intense fighting during the storming of the breaches as the siege drew to an end.
Enraged at the huge amount of casualties they suffered in seizing the city, the troops broke into houses and stores consuming vast quantities of liquor with many of them then going on a rampage.
Threatening their officers and ignoring their commands to desist, and even killing several officers the troops massacred about 4,000 Spanish civilians. It took three days before the men were brought back into order.

William was sickened by this mindless slaughter of the Spanish but was proud that his men did not take part in the looting in fact they were part of the army that restored order and for this good work William received a battlefield commendation.
My letter back to him was very loving and I hoped comforting I told him how much I missed him, how I missed his loving touch and couldn’t wait for him to hold me and kiss me. (Mama would be scandalized at my forwardness) But I felt that this is what William needed to hear.

July and I was sitting daydreaming when a servant entered and asked me to go to my brother Edward’s study. In truth this was a pleasant distraction as I was sitting there wondering when I would next see William – it had been so very long.
When I entered mama was also there so I thought the worst and started to move from foot to foot. Mama chided me saying, “Charlotte how many times have I told you! A lady does NOT fidget!” Eyes downcast I murmured, “Sorry mama -------but”

“Charlotte” my brother started, “With my work for the government I have been asked to sail to Portugal.” “Oh Edward will you see William” I gasped.
“Child let me finish” Edward said smiling. “Sorry Edward it’s just...........” I tailed off not knowing what to say.
He smiled sympathetically saying; “I know it has been a long time for you. But maybe just maybe we will see William.”

It took me a while to understand what he had just said and when the candle was lit and it dawned inside my head I gasped and stammered, “W, w, we? You said we! What do you mean?”
“What Edward means dear it that you are to accompany him to Portugal I think it will broaden your outlook on life and maybe - just maybe you will see William.” Mama told me with a gentle smile.
I flew to my brother hugging him thanking him – I was so very excited this would be a great adventure – little did I know.

We were leaving in 3 weeks taking a ship to Lisbon so for me it was a flurry of activity packing.
As we would be away for at least 3 months Mama made sure that I packed accordingly.
Sensible dresses which were slightly shorter and made from lighter material than what we wore in England some evening gowns, skirts and blouses. Also included were sensible shoes and boots as well as riding habits.
My ladies maid Anna was even more excited than I as this was a real adventure for her being a country girl.

Finally it was time for us to leave home the first part of the journey was by a ‘yellow bounder’ as it was commonly called this was to take up to London where Edward was to collect his orders and dispatches from the Admiralty.

The real name for this type of transport was a Postchaise these were rented, as were the teams of horses so we could make London in 2 days as the teams were changed regularly.
From London we took the fast mail coach to Plymouth where we would be boarding our ship for Portugal.
In Plymouth we acquired rooms at the Minerva Inn for the night as we were boarding our ship HMS Hydra in the morning. This was the first time I had ever been in a common tavern and I found the sights and smells overpowering and fascinating it was a mixture of tobacco smoke, cooking, stale sweat and ale.

The clientele in the part we entered seemed to consist of Naval Officers some of whom Edward knew though with his ravaged face and one arm they didn’t recognize him.
We sat at a table for some food Anna was very uncomfortable sitting with Edward and I but my dear brother put her at ease telling her that this would be a common happening and to enjoy her adventure. She looked at me and I added that not only was she my maid but my friend so for this trip why should she not dine with us.

The food was very basic consisting of mutton stew, minced collops, mutton chops and assorted pies served of course with beer.
As people recognized Edward and of course the attraction of two comely girls our table was soon surrounded by a group of officers.
After we had eaten the company grew a bit noisier as more brandy and ale were consumed.
Much to my disappointment and certainly Anna’s (as she had the attention of a very handsome young officer) we were packed upstairs with the admonishment from my brother to dress sensibly for tomorrow.

We went and laid out our dresses for the morning; mama realizing that Anna’s wardrobe was very Spartan had insisted that some of my older clothes be altered to fit Anna’s frame – she is slightly more buxom than I.
The result for this was that her wardrobe was similar to mine though a bit more worn.
All our dresses were made from light cotton, lawn or linen suitable for the climate of Portugal. Our underwear was similar the main difference being that Anna wore the open style drawers where I mainly used the ones closed.

The next morning I dressed in a lavender dress with long sleeves made from the finest lawn it was gathered under my breasts and came to just above my ankles. My shoes were black ankle boots with a small heel.
Anna tried to dress herself but couldn’t fasten the dress at the back so I helped her dress despite her saying, “T’aint right miss I’s supposed to be your maid not t’other way round.”
“Anna dear” I explained, “We are the only two girls here we have to help each other now for goodness sake stand still so I can fasten your dress – then I’ll do your hair!” I added as an afterthought.

This started her arguing again, “But Miss t’aint right you serving me you’re a lady.”
“Oh Anna” I sighed, “Please be quiet if you are going to be my companion you are going to look presentable.”
“But Miss Charlotte I’m your maid not your companion.” I had made my mind up on this for our adventure Anna as going to become my companion we would help each other and I would teach her the basic rules of being a companion.

As I brushed her hair out I found that it was greasy, dirty and a bit smelly, “Anna when did you last wash your hair?”
She looked at me amazed, “Why never Miss water is bad for you – everyone knows that.”
“Fiddlesticks” I snapped we are going to wash your hair now and no argument!
“But Mistress” she pleaded, “I’ll catch’t fevers and die!”
“Absolute rubbish” I snapped as I called for several buckets of hot and cold water.
When these had arrived I grabbed the unwilling Anna and proceeded to wash her hair with my mixture for hair cleaning totally ignoring her squeals and protestations.

There was a knock at the door, “Come” I shouted and Edward entered looking at the scene with amazement.
“Charlotte what on earth are you doing?” I glared at him snapping, “It must be obvious even to you! I’m not having my companion smelling like a midden!”
“”Companion?” he queried. Again I glared at him with steely determination, “Yes Companion” I snapped ready for an argument.

With a look of amusement he commented, “You are so like mama – companion it is then. Please haste as we are leaving in an hour or so.” Then in a slightly raised voice he finished with, “Anna! Stop your squalling next you will be getting washed all over – if I know my sister!”
“What an excellent idea Edward please have a tub and more water sent up.” This elicited another wail of despondency from Anna and a grim smile from my brother as he departed.

I had finished washing her hair and started drying it this was a long process as Anna had thick black hair down to her waist.
A tub was brought along with more hot water and a distraught Anna was stripped off and I made her get into the tub.
Shivering in fright she pleaded with me telling me she would die from the water.
“Nonsense” I snapped I have a bath every month and so will you from now on!” With another wail she sat down and I handed her my soap instructing her, “Now WASH your self girl!”
After she was thoroughly clean I rinsed her off, trimmed her hairs under her arms then she towelled herself dry.

Looking fresh and rosy cheeked she dressed again her dress was yellow with coloured flowers gathered under her voluptuous breasts. This time when I sat her down to do her hair she smelled clean and fresh her hair shining with health.
After I had finished she looked at herself in the small mirror and in a voice full of wonderment she gasped, “Miss I look’s like a Lady!”
Smiling I told her “Yes you do now I have to teach you to talk and act like a companion.” I passed her the yellow bonnet that went with her dress and as we made ready to go a knock came on the door.
“Come” I shouted Edward entered and looking at Anna with amazement said, “I gathered from the lack of sound that either you had finished or Anna had died from the water!”

This set Anna off again, “See Miss I told you I would die; I told you!” This annoyed me and I snapped at my brother, “Edward! I have just calmed her down – now please tell her you jest then we can leave!”
With a trace of a grin my brother assured Anna, “Anna, Charlotte is right I only speak in jest – we bathe regularly and we have not died so can we now leave?”

Anna left with some baggage Edward looked at me and asked, “Charlotte what is this companion? Anna is your ladies maid. What will mama think?”
“Edward Anna and I have been together many years for this adventure it feels right to me – as for mama I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.”
My brother smiled grimly adding, “You and mama are so alike I would like to be there when you two lock horns.”

With that we left the inn and walked the short distance to the harbour wall and the steps that would let us board the boat.

In my ignorance I thought the ship that was taking us to Portugal would be alongside the quay – but no!
As we reached the head of some steep and very slimy looking stone steps my brother shouted, “HYDRA”.
“Aye, Aye Sir” came the call from a small rowing boat amongst the throng of small boats. (I found out later that this was named a barge and one of the larger boats a ship carries)

The rowing boat came alongside the steps and with a frightened look at me Anna descended the slippery steps and into the bobbing boat -with the help of a very brawny sailor. I followed assisted by the same sailor finally Edward.
For a man with one arm and eye he was amazingly agile on his feet and his co-ordination was excellent.
The boat pulled away I noticed that the person driving it was the same handsome officer that had noticed Anna last night and then we sped towards the ships that were at anchor in the sound.
It was very bouncy and I felt decidedly unwell, looking at Anna she was a strange tinge of whitish/green.
But before either of us could be ill we rounded the back of this what to my new eyes looked like very large ship and I saw the name Hydra – this was to be our transport!

The wooden sides of this ship seemed to tower over us “Edward how on earth are we going to board? We can never climb up those steps in our dresses?” I was somewhat alarmed at this as the steps were little more than protruding pieces of wood all the way up the ships side with a rope either side.
The young man steering the boat spoke (I found out later he was what was called a Midshipman) “Never fear m’lady we have a chair to lift you on board.” As he said this he nodded towards a contraption hanging from one of the masts – actually as I later found out this was called a ‘yard’ which the sails hang from.

I looked at this decidedly flimsy looking thing hanging from a rope and swallowed. Anna clutched my hand and begged, “Miss Charlotte I b’aint going on that thing!”
I felt as much terror as her but knew I mustn’t show it so putting a brave face on I said in a steady voice, Don’t worry Anna I will go first then you will follow!”

Historical Note:- In the 1800’s the difference between a Lady’s Maid and a Lady’s Companion was vast. A maid was usually from a lowborn family and took care of the needs of her mistress. A maid had no rights at all and could be punished for the slightest misdemeanour.
A Lady’s Companion on the other hand was from a middle class family like a vicar or doctor she was educated and could attend functions with the Lady and converse like a Lady.
Charlotte has to teach Anna everything and even so if Charlotte’s mother does not agree Anna could be dismissed.

HMS Hydra off Ushant

HMS Hydra launched in 1797 was a fifth-rate frigate of the Royal Navy, armed with a main battery of twenty-eight 18-pounder guns.
She was built to the design of the captured French frigate Melpomene (taken in 1794).
Ships Boats: - The reliance of sailing ships on the wind for propulsion meant that boats were needed for many reasons - for carrying men ashore, for moving the ship by means of cables and anchors, for communicating between ships (and between ship and shore), and for bringing stores and water aboard.
Several types of ship's boats were required and each had a separate function or use. The largest boat was the launch, which was well adapted for carrying heavy weights. A barge was narrower, and often longer than a launch, and was intended mainly for rowing - and was the preferred vessel for carrying naval officers ashore and transferring officials parties. A pinnace was slightly smaller than a barge, and had fewer oars. Cutters were good sea boats, clinker built, and an indispensable part of every ship's equipment.
Most ship's boats were designed for both rowing and sailing, though, in general, some were more suitable at one than the other. Pinnaces and barges were used primarily for rowing, while cutters were better at sailing. Captains often added other types of boats according to size and availability - these could include a jollyboat (which was essentially a small cutter) and a gig. The larger boats were stored in the waist of the ship, while cutters and jollyboats were stowed near, or suspended from the stern on davits where they could be released easily (and quickly in the case of an emergency).

Charlotte and Anna board the ship that is taking her brother to Portugal. Anna catches the eye of a young midshipman and romance blossoms at the same time Charlotte starts to teach Anna her letters and numbers as to be a Ladies Companion Anna needs some education.

It was with a strange sense of foreboding that I watched the flimsy chair being lowered to the pitching boat.
The closer it got the stronger it looked so by the time came for me to sit in it and get hoisted onto the ship I was a bit more confident.
Edward told me how to sit in the contraption adding somewhat unnecessarily, “Hold on tight Charlotte” I certainly held very tightly on as in one rapid movement I was some 10’ above the small rowing boat and heading skywards at what seemed to me an alarming rate.
As I cleared the rail of the ship I could see that there were six brawny seamen hauling me I landed on the ship as light as a feather just as my brother reached the deck (how he had climbed that ladder with just one arm I simply don’t know)

He turned and saluted the back of the boat and was greeted by an impressive looking man of about 30 who was the captain of the Hydra.
An officer escorted me any I was introduced to the Captain - just as a very scared looking Anna was landed onto the deck of the frigate.

I looked around with interest the ship was about 150 feet long and quite narrow I would guess about 40 feet there were a row of black cannon down each side I counted 14 then at the front of the ship there were 2 smaller guns and 2 huge guns.
These black guns were in stark contrast to the snowy white of the floor (decks) it looked very crowded with people and there was a mass of rope to control the sails.

I was awestruck thinking that if I had remained a boy this would have been my life – but here I was, an attractive young lady in awe of the complexities of this ship.
We were taken to a small cabin where Anna and I were to sleep my brother was shown an even smaller cabin. We were told that we would dine with the Captain and that a marine sentry would be posted at our door.

Then the captain left us saying that he now had to put to sea. I looked around with Anna then somewhat worriedly she said, “Mistress Charlotte I can’t sleep in the same room t’aint right.”

“Sit down Anna” I told her then taking her hand I explained, “Anna we have known each other for over 5 years, from today you are no longer my maid but my companion.
We will help each other dress but you have such a lot to learn and we are going to start teaching you how to act like a gentlewoman!”

“But mistress” I stopped her with a wave of my hand, “From now on please address me as Miss Charlotte or even Charlotte!”
Anna looked aghast at this stammering, “B, b, but t’aint right mistress!” “Anna! What have I just told you to call me?” I asked patiently as I knew that these next few weeks would be hard for her.

“Sorry Miss Charlotte but--------“ “No buts Anna” I told her and we are going to have to work on your speech luckily we will have some time while we are at sea. In the meantime try and talk like Miss M as I have heard you imitating her! Also when we dine copy what I do.”

Anna blushed when she heard this as at home a maid could get dismissed just for imitating her ‘betters’.
Just then the ship heeled and the two of us clutched each other as we had nearly fell off the truckle beds we were sitting on.

There was a knock on the door and my brother told us, “The captain has given permission for you two ladies to come on deck and watch the ship leaving harbour.”

I felt we had been in this cabin long enough so I answered through the door, “We’ll just get our cloaks Edward then we will be with you.” Then I whispered to Anna, “From now on you speak like you do when imitating Miss M – understand Anna?”

In a voice that resembled a young Miss M Anna answered, “Yes Miss Charlotte.” This caused me to giggle which set Anna off giggling.
I managed to tell her, “Absolutely perfect Miss Anna absolutely perfect.”
Then huddled in our cloaks we followed Edward on to the deck and observed the activity from a safe and out of the way place on the poop deck.

This is what Edward called it and as we stood there watching the sailors swarm over the masts like ants he told us what was happening.

We found out that a Frigate is a very fast fighting ship that masts are there to hang the yards on which in turn have the sails attached.

The mast pointing out of the front is called the ‘bowsprit’ and the front is called the bow while the back of the boat is the stern!

On a ship anything you stand on is a deck! And anything that is a ceiling is a deck head! Ropes are stays and halliards and every sail has a name! All very confusing to a young lady such as I!

The ship steadied on its course out of Plymouth and the captain came over to my brother. “Sir Edward now we are underway would you come below so we can discuss your mission.”
Now this made me prick my ears ‘mission’? What was my brother doing?

The captain then shouted, “Mr Newsome please be so good as to escort these ladies and show them the ship.” A young man approached and introduced himself as John Newsome midshipman.

I could see that this task he had been given pleased him greatly and glancing at Anna I could see she was pleased. He was the very same young man that had been in charge of the barge.

I enjoyed the tour of the ship everything was explained to us but most of the things we did not understand.
Anna was perfect her speech was very lady like and she acted like a young Miss M!
John was infatuated with her and this made me smile and reflect that with training anyone could act the part of a Lady.

Finally we went to our cabin once inside I grinned at Anna saying, “Well how does it feel to be a gentlewoman?”

Anna gave me a beaming grin answering, “Oh Charlotte it was wonderful thank you so much isn’t John attentive?” then she clapped her hand to her mouth, “I’m so sorry Miss Charlotte it b’aint happen again.”

Automatically I corrected her, “It will not happen again Anna. And what will not happen again pray?”
Blushing furiously Anna whispered, “I called you by your given name I’m so sorry Mistress.”

I gave an exasperated sigh, “Anna I told you earlier to what to call me. Charlotte is my name! So please when we are alone call me by my name. When we are in company if it is easier for you then Miss Charlotte.”

“Yes Mi------ sorry Charlotte I’ll try and remember.” I smiled encouragingly, “Good remember you are no longer a maid but a companion you must speak like Miss M all the time it really needs to be second nature to you – oh and while I remember can you read and write?”

She hung her head and whispered, “No Mi----- Charlotte, sorry” Briskly I answered, “No problem I will have to teach you.”

So this is how we whiled away the time for the ten days it took for us to reach Lisbon Anna was very bright as she picked up things very quickly.
So I set off teaching Anna how to use knives and forks correctly I also started to teach her the alphabet and simple mathematics also making sure she spoke correctly.

AND I noticed that her and Mr Newsome saw a lot of each other. The day before we were due to reach Lisbon Anna entered the cabin is some distress,
“Oh Miss Charlotte; John wants to write to me! How do I tell him that I cannot read or write?”

I put down the sewing I was doing and commented, “You don’t! It will be a spur for you to learn to read and write faster. I’ll read you any letters and until you have a good script I will also write your reply.”

“Oh Miss thank you,” she cried as she hugged me in gratitude then she realised what she had done and started stammering her apology at touching me. I embraced her telling her not to worry we are companions now.

“Miss I have a question” I looked at her answering, “Go on.” She took a deep breath then gathering her courage she asked, “What will her ladyship say about me being your companion?”

This was a good question and one, which I wasn’t sure about. Yes mama is a progressive woman but had I progressed too much?
I looked at Anna and honestly answered, “I simply don’t know.” And we left it at that.

The next morning Anna and I were on deck looking at the dark smudge on the horizon. I felt a presence and Edward was stood behind us. “Portugal” he commented continuing, “The wind is fair we should make land before nightfall – the Captain assures me.”

The weather was warmer so Anna and I went below to change into lighter clothes I selected a cotton lilac skirt adorned in flowers with a contrasting linen top of cream with small dots that fastened down the front I had a bonnet that matching my skirt.

For Anna I selected a lemon cotton dress simple but it really suited her colouring it gathered under her bust and had short floaty sleeves; it too had a matching bonnet.
Underneath we had the minimum underwear light cotton drawers and a light corset our stockings were of the finest cotton and we had leather button up shoes.

Anna packed our clothes away ready for going ashore with us. Then we went for breakfast after which we both went on deck and watched the coast approach.
We made sure that we were in a part of the poop deck that didn’t interfere with the working of the ship.

The coast slowly turned from a dark smudge into something where colours could be seen first the browns then greens then buildings could be seen along with the red tiles of their roofs.

The ship entered the River Tagus and land was now on both sides of us!
The ship moved slowly as the wind was very light and the sun very hot the river was arrow straight then suddenly it widened out into the most beautiful bay I would estimate a mile across this I found out was called the Mar de Palha or in English the Sea of Straw.

I could see why it was called this as with the sun and ripples on the water it looked like a field of mown straw.

The bay was beautiful surrounded by hills and the scenery was spectacular but we were still some distance from the city but we could see the city of Lisbon in all its glory basking in the midday sun I put up my parasol and the two of us sheltered under it keeping the worst of the sun at bay.

As we approached; the ship was suddenly turned and the huge sails cracked as they went dead at a shout the large anchor was cut free and soon the vessel was anchored swinging gently seemingly in a field of straw.

Lisbon is on the North side of the River Tagus the poets refer to the Tagus as Lisbon’s Lover as it embraces the city. The city itself is built on hills similar to the pictures I had seen of Rome.
Apparently in the 1750’s an earthquake had destroyed much of the city but now 60 years later it had been rebuilt most splendidly.

I gave a sigh and said to Anna, “It would seem that we are going to be lifted in that chair thing again.” A gasp escaped from Anna but she straightened up saying, “Well Miss Charlotte we’ve done it before and no harm came to us!” I smiled at her answering, “Indeed Anna, Indeed.”

Over the last week it had become quite natural for her to speak in a refined manner. At first she sounded like a young Miss M but now her voice sounded natural for her age I reflected that she would make a very good companion, as she was willing and quick to learn.

Things happened very quickly after this like a well-oiled machine the chair was rigged from the yardarm and the cutter was launched our trunks appeared on deck and were loaded into a smaller rowing boat.

Then it was our turn as we approached the chair Anna whispered, “May I go first Miss – to make sure it’s safe.”

Smiling I replied, “Certainly Anna – thank you.” Neither of us really liked this contraption so her offer was welcome. Though I knew that it was safe to use, as the sailors were meticulous in everything they did.

As I was lifted through the air to the waiting cutter I saw that it was Mr Newsome at the helm and smiled wondering how he had managed this and resolving to give him and Anna time to say goodbye.

After I was seated safely in the cutter I reached into my reticule and passed Anna a piece of paper with the address for his letters so they would find her.
I told her what was on the paper and she looked so very grateful thanking me profusely.

With that the cutter left the side of the Hydra and set off into the gentle swell heading for the port of Lisbon.

Historical Note: HMS Hydra was commissioned in April 1797 she weighted 1,024 tons; length 148 feet with a beam of 39’ 6”. She had a draft of 12’ 8” with a crew of 284 men at times 315 men.
The armament was Upper Deck 28 x 18-pounder guns: Quarter deck 12 x 32 pounder carronade’s: Forecastle Head 2 x 12 pounder guns and 2 x 32 pounder carronades
The carronade is a short smoothbore, cast iron cannon, which was used by the Royal Navy and first produced by the Carron Company, an ironworks in Falkirk, Scotland, UK. It was used from the 1770s to the 1850s. Its main function was to serve as a powerful, short-range anti-ship and anti-crew weapon.
After Admiral Lord Nelson defeated the French and Spanish fleets at the battle of Trafalgar on 21 October 1805, four French frigates and the brig Furet took refuge at Cadiz, where they remained into February 1806. To try to lure them out, Vice-Admiral Cuthbert Collingwood pulled his ships-of-the-line ten leagues out to sea, leaving only Hydra, under the Captain George Mundy, and the brig-sloop Moselle in close blockade. On 23 February a strong easterly wind drove the British off their station, which led the French commander, Captain Louis-Charles-Auguste Delamarre de Lamellerie, to seize the opportunity to escape. On the evening of 26 February Hydra and Moselle were three leagues west of the Cadiz lighthouse when they sighted the French vessels. Mundy began firing rockets and alarm guns to alert Collingwood, while sailing parallel to the escaping French squadron. Mundy then sent Carden in Moselle to try and locate the British fleet. On the morning of 27 February Moselle reached Collingwood, who despatched three frigates to try to catch the French.
In the meantime, Hydra had managed to isolate the French brig from her companions, and after a two-hour chase, captured the Furet. The French frigates did not come to their brig's aid, and after firing a pro forma broadside, Furet surrendered. Furet was armed with eighteen long 9-pounder guns, and had a crew of 130 men under the command of lieutenant de Vaisseau Demay.

Lady in Waiting Part 3

Charlotte and Anna have now arrived in Lisbon where Anna's education really kicks in as hot headed Charlotte is determined to make a success of Anna's transformation from servant to companion a success. But disaster strikes and Charlotte's impetuous nature lead her into danger and adventure.

Reaching the port we moored up alongside some very elegant (but very slimy) marble steps.
This was official entrance to Lisbon a impressive broad marble staircase from the water to the vast arcaded (Praça do Comércio). Uniform buildings rebuilt after the earthquake surround the three landward sides of the square.

My brother, bounded up these easily while we girls encumbered by our dresses were somewhat slower.
Anna’s Mr Newsome helped us ladies up them. At the top of them I turned to Anna instructing her, “Anna please will you remain here and make sure our luggage is safe – I am sure Mr Newsome could spare the time to keep you safe.”

With a grateful look she answered, “Yes Miss.” While poor Mr Newsome earnestly informed me that the first lieutenant had ordered him to remain on shore until all our baggage was delivered.

As I looked around with interest the port area was a hive of activity with horses and carts seemingly wandering around without purpose.
The varinas (fish vendors) roam the port area dressed in long black skirts carrying their wares in baskets on their heads.
Vessels tied up at quays where the sound of hooves on stone blends in with the cries of the workers.
I was later told that at dawn, fishing boats deposit their catch for sale to the Lisbon shop owners while the fish vendors wait to fill the baskets which they peddle through the streets.

Further inland the fish market gives way to the equally colourful and clamorous fruit and vegetable market which I was determined to visit.
Lisbon’s port had an intimacy with its city amid the cargo boats, warships and ferryboats; a picturesque note is struck by the fragatas said to of Phoenician origin.
These crescent-shaped boats with their striking black hulls and pink sails perform all of the harbour’s lighterage.
I found out all this from a gentleman who seemed to be waiting for someone, he was very polite and quite comely in his looks. He spoke in English with an accent somewhere between French and Portuguese he knew the city well and freely told me about it.

As I sheltered under my parasol because the sun was very strong Anna and Mr Newsome were sheltered under the overhang of a building earnestly engaged in conversation while the sailors in the cutter had put up a canvas cover.
“Senorita” my newly found friend said, “Would you care to sit in the shade and maybe partake in a cool drink.” As he said this he gestured to a small building with a canopy underneath which were some tables.
This was considered very forward in English society – but we were not in England so I answered, “Unfortunately I am waiting for my guardian.” Quite logically he pointed out that I could see where we were now standing from the tables also I was quite warm and in need of some refreshment so I agreed.

As we walked across he introduced himself, “Senorita how remiss of me not introducing myself I am Pierre Ducos – and before you ask I am a Frenchman but I am also an enemy of the tyrant Bonaparte.”
I was still somewhat taken aback by his forwardness so I nodded saying, “Pleased to make your acquaintance Monsieur Ducos.” I said this in my best French much to his surprise.
I sat across from him as he ordered two fruit cordials, when these came they were chilled with condensation glistening on the tankard. I took a sip and it was delicious.
He continued to speak to me of the city then I saw my Brother walk up to the head of the steps. I stood and waved to him attracting his attention.
As he strode over I turned to Monsieur Ducos to see him appraising my brother through narrowed eyes there was something that made me distrust the voluble Frenchman.

When my brother came over I introduced him to my new ‘friend’ and thanked Monsieur Ducos for his company linking arms with my brother I left as Midshipman Newsome organised our baggage onto a cart.
I glanced over to where I had left Monsieur Ducos to see him speaking to two others who looked like local labourers however I noticed that his eyes never left my brother.

We were handed into the carriage that Edward had organised and with a clatter of hooves we set off.
I purposefully sat with my back to the driver so I could take in the sights and see behind the carriage. Anna was bubbling with excitement not only was it her first time away from England it was her first time in a carriage.
While I listened and answered Anna I watched the tableaux that was taking place behind us. One of the two men had jumped on a small single horse gig and was clearly following us while the other had disappeared into the maze of streets.

We steadily made our way through the city to the place we would be living for the next few months it was in the area known as Belem close by the palace the centre of government and of course the British Delegation.
The house was airy and comfortable with a pleasant breeze wafting through the rooms. There were servants to attend to us. This in it self created a slight problem as in theory Anna was my maid though in practice things were slightly different.
Our baggage was brought in and carried to our rooms as Anna was dressed very similar to myself she had her own room next to mine – much to my brothers amusement he had taken to calling her ‘Lady Anna’ much to Anna’s discomfort but even though she begged him not to call her such he persisted as it seemed to amuse him.

We settled in and our life carried on I would spend many hours a day teaching Anna everything she needed to know as I have said before she was a very fast learner and after a month or so she was a perfect gentlewoman.
As my companion she would attend functions with me so she had to be dressed suitably so we went shopping. This was a revelation for her as up until then she had used my old clothes that had been altered to fit her.
But now she was measured for three dresses of her own suitable for functions I could see that she was so thrilled.
It took a week for these to be made and when they were delivered I insisted that she go and try them on.

They were in the latest style empire gathered under the bust, One was a pale lilac gown in the lightest lawn it really suited her colouring the second dress was of cream cotton with flowers printed while the third dress was a cornflower blue made from fine silk it really looked superb on her in fact it made her look like a lady.
It was while I was fastening her into this dress that there was a commotion and three men burst into the bedroom they were all armed with pistols and wicked looking knives.
I recognised two of them as the men I had seen speaking to Monsieur Ducos. They strode over to Anna taking her under the chin and forcing her head up so this is Lady Charlotte Grenford the woman our patron wants their accent was very heavy showing they were unaccustomed to speaking our language.

I was just about to tell them that they were wrong when Anna in a perfect aristocratic voice told them, “Yes and who are you?” The three men laughed one saying, “Never you mind m’lady you are coming on a journey with us.”
“But she” I started but never finished and Anna snapped at me, “Anna you silly girl keep quiet and remember your place!”
I was dumbfounded Anna had not only called me by her name but had told me not to be silly and remember MY place.
I was about to tell the truth when Anna turned to one of the men who seemed to be the leader asking, “I assume that you are taking me so let us proceed.”

Again I tried to put things right I cried, “But she’s..........” Again Anna cut me off saying, “Anna please remember you are not my equal speak only when spoken to and stop having ideas above your station just because you are wearing one of my dresses!”
Then turning to the leader she suggested, “To get some peace and quiet from this silly girl why don’t you tie her to the chair and gag her!”
I was appalled what was she doing then finally very belatedly I realised she was saving me - she was going in my place!
But when the Frenchman saw her he would recognise that his captive was not who he thought and her life would be in danger!
I simply could not let this happen so I opened my mouth to protest when one of the men slapped my with the back of his hand knocking me to the floor.
He growled, “Shut up wench we have to deliver her ladyship undamaged but we may have some fun with you!”
While I was still stunned he tore the hem of my gown and stuffed some of the cloth into my mouth then tied some more of the cloth around my mouth effectively gagging me.

I was then unceremoniously dragged into the chair and more of my dress was used to tie me to the chair.
One of the men groped my breasts saying to his friends, “Nice and plump shall we have some fun?”

His companion growled “Leave her alone and let’s get her ladyship away before we are disturbed”. He threw some baggy trousers and an equally baggy shirt at Anna telling her, “Now M’lady put these on – NOW!”
Anna started to protest when the front of her gown was grabbed and torn from her. He then took his knife and cut the rest of the dress snarling, “Dress or I’ll let my men have fun with your maid.” Nodding towards me.
Anna stood there in her camisole, drawers and corset the ruffian then cut the laces on her corset saying, “No need for these – NOW DRESS!”
With a scared look towards me she complied and with her hair savagely hacked to make her look like a male she was dragged out of the room.

I heard her protesting loudly in her crystal clear voice that she wanted to say goodbye to her maid and them she would leave quietly otherwise they would have to carry her.

The relented and the door opened. Anna entered and came over to me bending down she kissed my cheek whispering, “Don’t worry about me Miss Charlotte you tell your brother and I heard them saying they are taking me to somewhere called Vimioso.”

“Hurry” snarled the leader calmly Anna straightened up and said, “A lady never hurries,” then patting my cheek she addressed me, “Now you be a good girl Anna I will see you soon.”
As she turned one of the men grabbed her and literally dragged her from the room leaving me bound and gagged tears streaming down my face.
I sat there helpless for what seemed like an age my emotions swinging between rage at what had happened and love for what Anna had selflessly done and despondency at not being able to do anything.

After an age I heard someone walking down the corridor I tried to shout but al that came out was muffled noises so in desperation I rocked on the chair until with a crash I landed on the floor I was winded but unhurt apart from where I had been slapped.
Lying on my side I watched as the door opened all I could see were a pair of boots then I heard my brothers voice, “Charlotte what on earth has happened?” As he spoke he rushed to me and cut me free I staggered to my feet and fell against him sobbing in relief.

As I calmed down I babbled my story to him I was not really coherent as I was still very emotional.
He lead me downstairs and made me drink a small glass of Brandy coughing and spluttering from the fiery liqueur I gulped a few deep breaths and started my story again.
Edward sent a servant to the British Delegation and made me sit calmly telling me to think deeply and be ready to recount every little detail – including how I knew the men that had abducted Anna.

There came the clatter of hooves and three men burst into the room two were in army uniform while the third was in civilian dress but he was obviously in charge.
They made me recount my meeting with Monsieur Ducos at the port how I saw Monsieur Ducos talk to two men and how I had spotted one of them following our coach.
Then I recounted what had happened before Anna was abducted how she was trying on a new gown with me fastening her into it.
How the men had burst in and assumed that as I was assisting with the gown that Anna was myself and that every time I tried to tell the truth Anna had shouted me down eventually getting the rogues to bind and gag me.
Finally I told them about Vimioso which I found out was in Northern Portugal close to the Spanish boarder.

The four of them discussed their options I wanted to send some men straight after Anna and rescue her but as I was a mere woman I was totally ignored – by now I was incandescent with rage and resolute that Anna would be found and saved though how to be truthful I had not a clue.

Through listening I discovered that there was a supply convoy leaving tomorrow taking supplies North to resupply the Northern Army and that they would send a dispatch with that.
This was rubbish! And I said so as it would take some 14 days for the convoy to reach the north Anna could be dead by then. But my ranting were to no avail this was the course of action that was decided on.

Now my rage changed to cold resolution at this and I was determined to do something though what I had no idea.
A germ of a plan crept into my head - I would go north find the army and plead with them to save Anna!
If I had been rational I would have realised that this plan was simply ridiculous and really not feasible but I was not totally rational because by now my mind was decided on a course of action and to this end was my future actions were crystal clear so I started planning.

First to the study to find a map of Portugal this I did and copied out the shortest route to Vimioso.
Then I found my brother’s arms chest and selected two pistols and a supply of powder and shot.
I was thanking my lucky stars that my William had taught me how to shoot both a pistol and his beloved Baker Rifle.
A horse was next so to that end I asked one of the servants where I could purchase a sturdy horse – not a steed but a capable sturdy mount that had endurance.
I also purchased a mule to carry my supplies and arranged to pick them up the next day after Edward had left for the Delegation
This done I then got some loose trousers and shirt like what the local men wore also a cap to conceal my hair also some sturdy boots.
Next I bought basic supplies bread, cheese, dried meat some rice and a skin for my water all of which I hid at the stables – I told the old woman there that I was going to search for my betrothed who was with the army.
She laughed calling me a silly girl, but wishing me good luck at the same time then she told me to be careful as bands of robbers deserters and partisans roamed the roads looking for lone travellers.
I was now ready some what hot and dishevelled I arrived home to change for supper.

When I look at the plans I made and the way I carried out the different parts I was leaving big signposts for my pursuers to follow – I was under no misapprehension that I would be looked for once it was found that I was missing.

Historical Note The Peninsular was lasted a long time from 1807 to 1813 it mainly was conducted in Spain where the country had risen up against Napoleon Bonaparte.
When Spain asked for British assistance Portugal was used as a staging post until the capture of Cadiz though a military presence was maintained in Portugal.
In Spain and Portugal, the populace were inured to hardship, were suspicious of foreigners and were versed in ways of life—such as banditry and smuggling—that were characterised by violence and involved constant skirmishes with the security forces.
The conviction of General Bigarre became the foundation of the phenomenon of the ‘Customs Guards and Smugglers’ who covered the whole of the country under the Prince of the Peace a certain Captain Blaze saying “That as the Spaniards were accustomed to extol the exploits of the robbers and smugglers, the chieftains have been in readiness to become chiefs of the guerrillas".
In the same way, it has been claimed that enlightened absolutism made less progress in Spain and Portugal than elsewhere, with the result that the reforms of the new regime (France) grated on them far more than would have been the case. Tantamount to suggesting that resistance was the product of backwardness—or as the French would have put it, of savagery, ignorance and want of civilisation—this latter argument could be supplemented by arguing that Spain was Catholic and therefore given over ipso facto to obscurantism, superstition and counter-revolution.
Common French complaints as they grappled with occupying such an independent and spirited Spanish citizenry was that Spain was at least a century behind the rest of Europe in knowledge and the progress of social habits. Spain's insularity and the severity of its religious institutions had prevented the Spaniards from taking part in the disputes and controversies that had agitated and enlightened Europe.
Hatred of the French and devotion to the Motherland were not the only reason to join the Partisans.
The French imposed restrictions on movement and on many traditional aspects of street life, so opportunities to find alternative sources of income were limited—industry was at a standstill and many Señores were unable to pay their existing retainers and domestic servants thus could not take on new staff hunger and despair reigned on all sides.
Because the military record was so dismal, many Spanish politicians and publicists took exaggerated comfort from the activities of the guerrillas and elevated them to the status of national heroes, while the issue was exploited by factions determined to argue that the struggle against Napoleon was a people’s war.

Impulsive as ever Charlotte now goes in search of the English Army to plead with them to rescue Anna not knowing what path this will lead her.

In this and future episode’s of Book 2 I have borrowed very heavily from the excellent ‘Sharpe’ series of books by Bernard Cornwell which describe the times and the country perfectly.
I have avoided using any names in those novels but in a few places I have used Major Sharpe as an incidental character.

After changing into a pale green silk dress I felt better as I looked at my reflection I saw an attractive girl of 21 looking really attractive as my gown really brought out my colour by now my breasts were fully developed and were the size of a grapefruit.
Now that I had fully developed a female shape I no longer needed to take Mother Boville’s potion as these changes were permanent as the source of my maleness had been removed all those years ago.

As I gazed I thought that this would be the last time for some weeks I would actually dress as a woman apart from my soft underclothes I would be wearing male garb. A niggling feeling crept over me and for a moment I wondered if I was doing the right thing.
I thought of Anna and how she had willingly taken my place and how useless she would be once the Frenchman had seen that his bundling minions had seized the wrong girl. I HAD to find her and somehow rescue her – though how I simply did not know.

My plan was very sketchy I would follow the rivers north first the Tagus all the way up past where it joined the Rio Tejo I would as soon as possible cross the Tagus onto the north side then follow it until it became the Rio Zezere then follow this river to close by its source in the Sierra da Estrelaa then I would continue north to the Rio Duro.
Crossing this river I would be close by Vimioso and Braganca where the British Army were camped then I would have to plead my case. I naively assumed that something as large as an army would be easy to find.

In the short time I had planning my route I made a conscious decision to avoid all roads as the rivers would give me access to water it also avoids a lot of towns and although it is shorter it is harder so I thought that I would get there before Anna and her captors as I assumed that they would take the longer road route.
Also as I had heard bad things about the partisan groups I decided to do my best to avoid these as well concentrating of finding the Army.

Supper was a quiet affair Edward assumed that I was still in shock after the morning’s events so soon as it was possible I retired to my room where I wrote Edward a letter telling him I was going to look for Anna and begging his forgiveness for not telling him and also for ‘borrowing’ his pistols.

I had the bedroll that I had used on the Hydra so I made sure that this was tied ready to go with me. Then I made ready my disguise finally settling down to sleep.
I slept very fitfully listening for the signs that my brother had left for the delegation. Finally I heard the carriage leave and knew this was it!
I had to go now to give myself the best head start as I knew as soon as it was discovered there would be a search party looking for me.

This was another reason I was following the river, as this was the last direction they would expect me to travel in.
I quickly ran downstairs and retrieved the pistols from their chest along with a powder horn and shot bag.
Then it was upstairs to don my disguise as I dressed I thought how rough men’s clothing was. Even though I wore my normal underclothes minus corset where the rough fabric touched my sensitive skin was uncomfortable.
I gathered my hair and with some difficulty confined it all under my cap then gathering up the meagre few items I was allowing myself to take I crept out of the house and headed for the stables I loaded up my mule with my supplies and with the good wished of the old woman I left.

By the roads the distance to the Braganca region I had calculated as about 300 miles. The route I was travelling was 100 miles shorter at 10 miles a day this should take about 3 weeks!
I crossed the River Tagus at Vila Franca de Xira then I continued onwards avoiding roads and keep to trails always with the river on my right hand side.
My goal of about 10 miles a day was quite easy to achieve and I kept to this gentle pace as I didn’t want to ruin my horse and mule. At times we would have to hide to avoid people as I certainly did not want to be seen.

Generally I skirted villages but at one curiosity got the better of me as it looked deserted which it was as it was destroyed.
The place stank of death and my horse and mule were skittish I looked around and discovered some old hay which I fed to my animals after a suspicious smell they ate with gusto.
I searched and discovered three old sacks which I stuffed full of the hay then going to the village well I started to draw water when a voice startled me causing me to emit a small scream.
I turned and there was an old woman as I could speak passable Portuguese I asked her why I should not drink.
She told me that the French had poisoned the well when the burnt the village.
I asked her how she had survived she shrugged and told me that it was gods will she turned and started to walk away so I gathered up my mule and horse and followed her to a wooded glade about half a mile from the river.
As we had done our ten miles I asked if I could stay the night with her she shrugged telling me that she had little food and existed through snaring rabbits and birds also fishing in the river.

I shared my food with her and for the first time in 10 days actually spoke to someone it was a pleasant night.
Before I left in the morning I took the mule and filled up her water skins from the river then leaving her some of my food I left her and headed up river.
The ground steepened and soon we were climbing up the foothills of the Sierra da Estrela I didn’t want to go too high so I re-crossed the River Lezeree (the Tagus was well behind me) and continued on my northern route.
Finally it was time to cross the country to reach the River Douro this was three days away from any water. So I filled my water skin and set off.

The going was easy to start with scrubland and small outcrops of trees it was on this part of the journey that I killed my first man!
It was late afternoon and I was heading for a copse of trees I could see ahead when a rough looking man jumped out of the high grass and grabbed the reigns of my horse.
He had an evil looking knife and he was ready to possible kill me or rob me. When he was joined by a second equally villainous individual I knew I was in trouble.
I pleaded and begged but to no avail so feigning surrender I begged them not to kill me and reached to give them my meagre pack and animals. My hand rested on the butt of one of my pistols and I knew what I had to do. Praying that the priming powder was still under the frizzen cap I pulled cocked and without thinking shot the one nearest to me.

There was a stunned silence as he dropped half his face shot away. I was out to survive so I dropped the now useless pistol and pulled the other one out of my pack.
The second man started backing away. I knew that I could not let him live, as he would follow me and finish me off as I rested for the night.
He realised this and with a cry ran towards me his brandishing his knife. It was like a calm had descended over me – I took aim and ended his life! I had hit him in the stomach and he was screaming - the noise was from hell – and I was the cause of it!
Then I vomited retching to void my stomach’s reaction to what I had just done I was appalled I had just killed 2 men!
I was shaking like a leaf, I tumbled from my horse sank down onto my knees sobbing retching and trembling.

“First time you’ve killed?” I screamed as this English voice had really caught me off guard and unarmed I made a dive for the knife my dead assailant had dropped when another English voice quietly said “I wouldn’t do that if I were you girl!” then a third man stood up I was surrounded - but by English men.
“Stand up girl” the one who seemed to be in charge said to me.
Miserably I stood up and glared at my new captors then I looked at what they were wearing “Please don’t kill me” I begged then as I looked I realised that they wear wearing the remains of a uniform very similar to William’s and carried the Baker rifle where as they men were filthy their rifles were spotless and well looked after.

“Are you the 95th?” I asked still sobbing then I added, “And I’m not a Girl!” The leader approached me I shrank back as her reached out and grabbed my hat allowing my hair to tumble down my back.
He grinned evilly at me saying, “The only time men scream is a gut shot – they screams like a wounded rabbit then.” He looked at the man on the floor screaming and writhing then glancing over his shoulder barked. “John finish him off.”
I screamed “No for god’s sake!”
He looked at me with some pity telling me. “Girl you shot him; he’s dying with a ball in his gut and we can’t take him with us.’’
I was looking at the leader when the screaming suddenly stopped swinging around I saw the man called John casually wiping the blade the knife that was destined for me on the dead mans jacket.

He looked at my dirty face tear stained and carried on, “Now girl what are you doing here?”
Before I could answer I heard a sound, “Tis the recall - come lass we’ll go and see the capt’n he’ll know what to do.” They told me to get on my horse then leading it took me further north.

They moved at some pace and soon we entered an encampment where there were about a dozen men clad in the same uniform which once had been dark green but now could have been any colour.
“Stay here wench – Tommo look after her.” Resignedly I got off my horse and sat on the floor feeling wretched I think I have found the Army but not like I had expected.

A young man approached me he had a mane of red hair and looked about 20
His most obvious physical characteristic was a vey deep scar right across his forehead his eyes were the most startling green I have ever seen.
His uniform was in a similar state to his men’s but you could see brevets marking him as an officer though he carried the same rifle as his men and an evil looking sword hung from his waist.
“Well Lass what are you doing here?” looking sharply at me he continued, “And how’dya know who we are?” he spoke with a northern accent which was comforting to me.
I sat there deliberating what to tell him then for some reason I decided on the truth.

As I recounted my tale to him he stopped me asking, “The Frenchman – what was his name?” I answered “A Monsieur Ducos – why?”
“That bastard” he growled “D’you know where he is?” he snapped. I looked at him telling him that Vimioso was the place they were taking Anna.
Then all my pent up emotions spilled out, “Oh please help me find Anna once the Frenchman sees her she will be in danger – please, please help me or let me go to carry on –please.” I begged.
“Why are you worried about a servant – you a lady n’all that?” He asked with a trace of distain in his voice.
I then stood straight and looking him straight in the eyes told him, “She is more than a servant she is my friend you hear? My friend and I would never let a friend down!”

He looked steadily at me and then chuckled his mocking expression disappeared; with a smile he said, “William always told me his lady was strong willed!”

I gasped, “William - you know my William?” Then everything fell into place, “You are Lieutenant Miles his friend who was taught to shoot by Captain Sharpe in fact he taught the both of you everything?” I gasped not believing my good luck.
Then before he could speak I gasped, “Is William here? Can I see Him? How did you recognize me?”
“Patrick take her ladyship’s animals.” Then looking at me he continued, “I assume that you are Lady Charlotte?” I nodded then asked, “Please just call me Charlotte.”
He smiled which made his face look about 16 he gave another chuckle shaking his head commented; “I think that William will have his hands full with you.”
This reminded me I had to ask, “William is he with you?” He shook his head then continued, “Not at the moment but he may be later.” This cheered me up a little.
“And I recognize you because I have seen the picture William carries many times as before every battle he looks at it.” He told me
“Now – what are we going to do with you?” He mused. Instantly I told him in no uncertain words, “Lieutenant Miles I am not leaving without Anna –send me back and I will escape again I want Anna to be safe!”

“Captain” he murmured, “Pardon” I asked as he had diverted me. “Apparently I’m a Captain now not that it makes much difference.” He was deep in thought so with a parting shot I pleaded, “Please I beg you Captain Miles please help me rescue Anna.” Then I lapsed into silence.
“Gilroy” this brought me out of my reverie it would assume a decision had been made.
“Sorr” this was from the man who had found me I found out he was the second in command.
“Send a man you can trust to find Captain Ffinch’s platoon – have him ready to leave in ten minutes. Oh and make sure he can ride as he’s taking her ladyships horse!”

With a “Yes Sorr” Gilroy left. The Captain looked at me and said I hope you can walk as you are coming with us – we don’t have the men to send you back and we don’t have the time to wait for you if you can’t keep up.
I beamed a smile at him and quietly assured him, “I’ll keep up William used to take me walking – oh and thank you.”
He smiled grimly at me saying, “See if you still want to thank me we have 4 days hard marching to do.”

Sergeant Gilroy reappeared with the messenger the captain looked and grunted his agreement at the choice.
“Orders for Lieutenant Ffinch tell him to please meet me at the old mission 5 miles south of Vimioso four days hence we may have a chance to catch Monsieur Ducos for Major Sharpe – usual signals apply!” He looked at the messenger and made him repeat the message. Then added, “Tell captain Ffinch we may get Ducos this time and if he arrives before me I have a gift for him!” As he said this he glanced at me.

The messenger left on my faithful horse and I was left with these men. Food was made and we ate I shared what was left of my supplies but these soldiers were expert at trapping animals and foraging as we dined on fresh hare stew.
Then we settled down to sleep as the sentries were set Captain Miles spoke to the men telling them, “If anyone touches as much as a hair on her ladyships head they will have me to answer to – understood?”
The assembled soldiers murmured, “Yes sorr”. Miles looked at me saying, “You’ll be safe they won’t go near you.”

With that I lay my bedroll close to the small fire and settled down to sleep for the first time in weeks I slept like a baby knowing I was safe.

Historical Note: The Rifle Brigade (The Prince Consort's Own) was an infantry regiment of rifles of the British Army. Formed in January 1800 as the "Experimental Corps of Riflemen" to provide sharpshooters, scouts and skirmishers, they were soon renamed the "Rifle Corps". In January 1803 they became an established regular regiment and were titled the 95th Regiment of Foot (Rifles). In 1816, at the end of the Napoleonic Wars, they were again renamed, this time as the "Rifle Brigade".
The unit was distinguished by its use of green uniforms as standard in place of the traditional redcoat, as well as being armed with the first British-made rifle accepted by the British Army, in place of smooth-bore muskets — the first regular infantry corps in the British Army to be so.
Coming upon the 95th is not as far fetched as it may at first glance seem as this regiment was the eyes and ears of the main army and used for scouting purposes and special work they were really the forerunner of the Special Forces.
They ranged far and wide helping to secure supply lines. In this case they were looking for the French Spy who is responsible for the kidnap of Anna so it was fortuitous that Charlotte met up with them, as it would help their cause.

Guerrilla warfare in the Peninsular War refers to the armed actions carried out by non-regular troops against Napoleon's Grand Armée in Spain and Portugal during the Peninsular War. These armed men were constant source of harassment to the French army, as described by a Prussian officer fighting for the French: "Wherever we arrived, they disappeared, whenever we left, they arrived — they were everywhere and nowhere, they had no tangible centre which could be attacked.
As well as these organised bands there were also groups of deserters (from both sides) smugglers and bandits roaming the country these groups were allied to no one except themselves and anyone captured by these would be lucky to escape with their life.

Charlotte has now found the Army totally by accident and is luckily with a detachment of the 95th who are patrolling the mountains looking for the French spy.

In this and future episode’s of Book 2 I have borrowed very heavily from the excellent ‘Sharpe’ series of books by Bernard Cornwell which describe the times, the country and the life in the army perfectly.
I have avoided using any names in those novels but in a few places I have used Major Sharpe as a cameo character.

I was awoken next morning by someone tapping the sole of my boot remembering where I was my eyes flew open to see Captain Miles standing over me.
It was still dark though there was a sliver of light on the horizon signalling that dawn was not too far away.
I got out of my coarse blanket and rolled my bedroll and blanket up ready to carry the Captain handed me a hunk of black bread and some cheese telling me, “We move in 15 minutes your mule is loaded and one of my men will lead it - you stay by myself and Sarn’t Gilroy if anything happens to me listen to him – understood M’lady!”

The M’lady was somewhat ironic so I answered, “I understand major I will obey orders.”
He looked at me speculatively answering, “We’ll see M’lady; we’ll see”

“Please Captain I have one thing to ask you.” I stopped speaking and he nodded saying, “And that is?”
“Please call me Charlotte as my friends do. I will react faster to my name than I would M’lady and please tell Sergeant Gilroy the same.”
He gave me that ‘look’ saying, “William always told me you were special and I thought it was love talking. But I have the feeling that you are – though again we’ll see.”

Where I was concerned the ending of all his sentences with ‘we’ll see’ showed me that he did still not trust me.
I finished my meagre breakfast took a sip of water then adjusted my bedroll canteen and pistols about my person Sergeant Gilroy came up and said, “If I may miss; you’ll find it easier if you put your bedroll on your mule like the rest o’ us.”
I smiled my thanks and did as he suggested then we were off heading roughly northwards.
I knew from William that the 95th were renown for their marching and the pace set was hard though it seemed to be ‘normal’ for them.
We marched until near noon then we found some shade under a grove of trees.
I was managing to keep up but it was costing me dear my calf muscles were screaming I was very hot and sweaty my face was streaked with dust that the perspiration had caused to run and I was breathing heavily.

I slumped to the ground pleased for the shade; food was sent around consisting some cured sausage, cheese and bread to drink tepid water from our canteen’s, which tasted like the finest wine.
Captain Miles sat next to me quietly eating then he said, “You’re doing well but a word or two of advice miss.” “Please call me Charlotte,” I asked yet again looking him straight in the eyes.
“By God” he breathed, “You are a stubborn one! I’ll start again Charlotte.” I smiled sweetly at him in thanks as he carried on, “Water will be hard to find for a day until we cross the Duro so drink sparingly.” I nodded then he produced two small round pebbles saying, “When you get thirsty suck on one of these they will ease your thirst. Also I would suggest you put your two pistols in your pack on the mule as there are quite enough of us to guard you.”

We sat dozing in the shade until the heat of the day started to recede then orders were shouted and we were off again. My legs screamed in protest and my body ached but I pushed onwards buoyed by the thought that soon I would see my William.
We continued until just before nightfall when we made camp. One of the forward scouts returned carrying a small deer he had killed which ended up as our supper.
Then once again I slept like a baby until just before dawn when the whole torturous process began again.

As I marched following the platoon Sargent Gilroy dropped back marching alongside me commented somewhat grudgingly, “You’re doing well miss keep it up.” Then he quickened his pace before I could thank him but I was proud of those few kind words but at the same time slightly disturbed as he easily quickened his stride telling me that this must be a steady marching pace and that there must be a quicker pace.

Just before nightfall on the second day we reached the River Duro it was quite wide and looked deep.
Scouts were sent up and down stream to look for a crossing point when they returned it would seem that there was nothing close by so the decision was made to cross where we were we would camp tonight then in the morning make the crossing.

Next morning after breakfast (bread and cheese with water to drink) we made ready. After filling our canteens and water skins making sure that the equipment was firmly fastened to my donkey.
All of them made sure that their rifles were protected from the water and I was told to walk with my donkey; finally with the minimum of fuss we started across.
First 10 men were sent to secure the opposite bank while the rest covered them with their rifles.

Then as they waved telling us all was clear the rest of us crossed while they covered us.
While the water was cold and quite fast flowing it only reached to my chest.
As I crossed I took the chance to wash my face clean of dust – I would have given anything to strip off and wash my body but I had to be content.
When we reached the other side the soldiers made their rifles ready for use and soaking wet we set off again marching towards Vimioso.
I noticed that my calf’s didn’t start screaming at me until the noon stop also my body didn’t hurt as much as the previous days.
Even in my sheltered life as a Lady of quality I was an active girl I walked a lot around our estate, rode out every day and generally was very active. This had conspired to make me slender but with a wiry strength.

We started climbing the foothills up to the town of Vimioso, which Captain Miles told me was close to the Spanish border.
Even though we were climbing the pace never slackened and once again my legs were screaming for relief.
That night we camped in a cave, which sheltered us from the cold night air as we had ascended a long way into the mountains.
Earlier that day one of the soldiers had shot a mountain goat – this was our supper along with foraged wild plants and herbs the resulting stew was delicious.
The captain spoke to me after supper, “This will be the last night we can cook; for tomorrow we will be close to where your maid is being held.”

“Friend” I corrected him.

He heaved a sigh commenting, “Why do you always argue?” I was taken aback answering, “I am not arguing Captain Miles merely correcting.”
The shook his head and wondered out loud, “I wonder if William knows what he is marrying. And speaking of him we should join up with him tomorrow then I will hand you over to him!”
“Sir you make it sound like I was a burden! I have tried my hardest not to slow you down.”
He gave that ironic smile and nodded saying, “And you have done well – you must have done as Gilroy takes some impressing especially by any member of the gentry.”

I felt ridiculously pleased that such a hard man as Sergeant Gilroy thought I had done well.
Then he carried on, “We still don’t know where your m.... friend is being held so I am reminding you now take heed of anything I, your fiancé or Gilroy tells you – it just may save your life!” He looked me straight with those knowing piercing eyes and finished, “Understood?”
Somewhat cowed I lowered my eyes and responded, “Understood captain.” He chuckled answering, “Why is it I don’t believe you?”
Then standing up he left me, just as I was about to argue! Frustrated I got my bedroll out and settled down to sleep.

The next morning as usual someone gently kicking the sole of my foot awakened me.
Much to my surprise it was Sergeant Gilroy as usual it was dark but in his hand was some of last nights stew and a piece of bread.
Gruffly he said, “Some stew miss - you’ll need it today as we will be pushing on.” I thanked him and the wonderful aroma of the stew assailed me. Eagerly I devoured it and cleaned the bowl out with sand. This gave me enough time to pack my bedroll and take a quick sip of water then we were on our way.

The route was uphill and soon my legs were complaining but I gritted my teeth and resolutely carried on. Noon came and went with a twenty-minute rest then we continued on – now my legs were really screaming for relief.

Late in the afternoon one of the forward scouts returned to report that the old mission was in sight ahead and appeared to be deserted so we continued until we were positioned above the mission.
Out of nowhere the trooper complete with my horse appeared and reported to Captain Miles what was said I couldn’t make out but still I was reunited with my trusty horse.
The cry of an eagle rang out twice I looked into the sky Gilroy chuckled and whispered, “That was Thompson miss - we signal using bird calls – good poacher Thompson - well he was till he got caught.”
There was no response so the captain sent Gilroy and three others to look at the mission. I was given the task of looking after my horse and mule, which were, tied together this freed up all the troops.

The scouts returned saying that the mission was indeed deserted so the captain gave the order to advance.

This was the first time I had really seen these troopers at work; they advanced in a crescent formation spread a gunshot apart thus with the exception of the two men at the end of the crescent everyman was covered by two others.
They spread out and literally merged into the landscape – where a few minutes ago there had been 25 men now there was myself and the horse’s before he merged into the land the captain suddenly asked, “What is your favourite bird Charlotte?”
Without thinking I answered, “The Skylark – why?”

“When you hear the Skylark sing three times start walking down the trail towards the mission – NOT before understand?”
I nodded sensing that an argument was not welcome as these men were now all business.

I stood there rubbing the horse and donkey for what seemed like and age then I heard the lilting song of the skylark after the third time I set off walking.
As I approached the ruined mission I observed that there were about 50 men gathered there – my William had arrived! Though I couldn’t distinguish him, as every man looked the same.
With some excitement I approached the two of them in time to hear him say, “I have a special task for you William.
We have in our midst a gentle lady we found on the road and would like you to look after her.”
William looked stricken and answered, “But sir are you sure? We are patrolling the mountains.”
By now I was hopping from one foot to the other with excitement at seeing my beloved.

William continued, “We can’t afford to be hampered ................... by.................... a ............woman” he stopped speaking and with a note of amazement looked at me fidgeting and gasped, “Charlotte? Is that really you?”

I took my straw hat off and shook my hair loose. He looked amazed looking at Miles he gasped, “How?........ When?......... I mean Good God what is she doing here?”
Gilroy gave me a shove as he took the reigns of the animals and taking my cue I flew across to William smothering him with kisses much to his embarrassment and everyone else’s amusement and my delight.

As camp was made Captain Miles recounted how they had found me. This reminded me I had killed two men and I hoped William would not think any the less of me.
What did William look like after all it had been 3 years since we had last seen each other?
First he was broader and had a scar along his left cheek ending above his left eye. His face was a deep mahogany coloured by the sun he was unshaved and unwashed (as we all were).
Like the rest of the troopers his dark green uniform could have been any colour as it was faded from the sun, sweat and weather but his sword and rifle were immaculate.
Also he had the same air of confidence and yes menace about him as Captain Miles this was a side of him I had never seen before.
I noticed that when he gave an order it was carried out without a murmur.

Soon I was sleepy and got my bedroll out to settle down to sleep. Captain Miles and William continued to talk way into the night I remember hearing the captain saying, “You are a brave man marrying her ladyship - god she is strong willed and argumentative!” I heard the smile in Williams voice as he answered, “I told you she was special – but she is also beautiful, caring, brave and very loyal.”

There was silence for a while then the captain said, “And she has big ears! She is no more asleep than we are!” Then directed at me he said, “Are you m’lady?”
I had been caught eavesdropping so guiltily I turned over glaring at the captain retorting, “My name is Charlotte I’ve told you before – and how did you know I was awake?”

“God I feel sorry for you William, now go and embrace your woman as tomorrow will be a busy day!”
William came over and stroked my cheek whispering that it was a dream come true and that he loved me.
Emboldened by this I whispered would you lay your bedroll next to me and hold me?
He looked startled and said, “But what would your mama and brother say?” With a sultry smile I answered, “They are not here.”

Then the captain’s voice quietly said, “William please do as she says I need to sleep and she does speak sense!”
I was really embarrassed and whispered, “Does he hear everything?” “Yes I do” came the retort.
William lay his bedroll next to mine I opened my blanket so he could lie next to me.
The feeling of his arm holding me was wonderful I turned round so I was enfolded in his arms and whispered very quietly, “I do love you.” He hugged me very close and whispered back, “And I love you dearest Charlotte - But what am I going to do with you? Your family will be worried.”
“Hmmmmmmm” I retorted, “Kiss me.” His lips touched mine and my body responded. I happily drifted off to sleep in the arms of my betrothed.

Next morning when I was awoken I was alone I though that yesterday had been a dream until I saw that the person tapping my foot was my own dear William.
Today it was different as it was full daylight as usual breakfast consisted of bread and cheese with water to drink.

Historical note: - In the military there are various military steps or standard paces in this explanation I have mentioned the marching steps of different armies mainly for interest.
Most of the armies below were part of the Napoleonic War, the exception being the USA, French Foreign Legion that was raised in 1831 and the Spanish Legion, which were raised in 1920.
One step occurs on each beat. A pace is the length of one step (assumed to be 75 cm or 30"); do not confuse this use of "pace" with the ancient Roman unit of length (2 steps or 5 Roman feet = 148 cm or 58").
• Quick March: The basic mobility. 120 beats/min. In the USA this is called "quick time".
• Double March: The basic run. 180 beats/min. In the USA this is called "double time".
• Highland March: Regiment-specific pace, 80 beats/min. when wearing kilts.
• Rifles March: Regiment-specific pace, 140-beats/min. Like double-time, this is a rapid trot, with the rifle usually carried at the trail, not on the shoulder.
• Slow March: Ceremonial pace, 60 beats/min.
• Parade March: Usually seen combined with music, 120 beats/min. in the UK (except the Rifles who march at 140bpm), ~120 beats/min. in the USA and Russia
• French Foreign Legion Pace: 88 beats/min
• Paso Legionario: Specific march used by the Spanish Legion 144 beats/min, embodiment of their "espíritu de marcha".
• Typical German speed is 112 bpm.
For mechanical efficiency, opposite arms usually swing with each leg while marching. British and Commonwealth armed forces keep their arms straight and swing the hand as high as the shoulder while forward and in theory to the level of the belt when backward. US Marines swing the arm six inches to the front and three inches to the rear while US Army Soldiers swing the arm nine inches to the front and six inches to the rear. Some European armies bend the arm during the swing.
Most foot drill instructors believe these differing practices are efficient i.e. maintain rhythm for long route marches. US troops usually march long distances at "route step" which does not require them to maintain a specific pace or length of step. Some South American and Eastern European countries march on parade with the stiff leg earlier famous as the "goose step" of German troops. German and Scandinavian military bands and units swing with only the right arm, 90 degrees straight out. Some troops (like the Royal Swedish Lifeguard) swing with their left arm. This is because they carry their rifle in their right arm

In this and future episode’s of Book 2 I have borrowed very heavily from the excellent ‘Sharpe’ series of books by Bernard Cornwell which describe the times, the country and the life in the army perfectly.
I have avoided using any names in those novels but in a few places I have used Major Sharpe as a cameo character.

After I had eaten I asked William why everyone woke each other up by tapping on the sole of their feet – it was strange but it had been bothering me.

He was about to answer when Captain Miles answered for him, “I wondered when you’d ask that; look around you Charlotte all you can see are men that have been at war for as long as many can remember.
Most of us sleep with a weapon close by ready for use. If you were to waken someone by shaking their shoulder and they were having a nightmare you could easily get killed or wounded so tapping the sole of their feet is always the safest.”

“Oh” was all I could say but when you thought about it, it really made sense another lesson I had learned.

A council of war was held, I was while not excluded didn’t feel that I had anything to contribute so I sat to one side and cleaned and reloaded my pistols.
This was another thing William had insisted upon that I could look after my own gun.

The meeting broke up and Sergeant Gilroy passed commenting, “Good idea miss though those pop guns won’t be needed.”
I smiled up at him and replied, “I would sooner have a rifle – but these will do.”
He looked surprised and asked, “You can shoot a Baker miss?”
“Indeed I can; William taught me but I am slow in reloading” I smiled. He walked away shaking his head looking bemused at what this member of the upper classes could do.

The upshot of the plan was that one of William’s troopers would take my mule and enter the village of Vimioso from the Spanish side. The trooper chosen was a Spaniard so language was no problem.
His task was to see if he could find out where Anna was being held and ascertain if the Frenchman had arrived yet. The rest of us were to remain where we were until our ‘spy’ returned.
Thompson and another trooper had been sent out to snare enough food for us all we had ample hard bread, cheese and sausage but fresh food was always a welcome addition.

I was sat talking idly to William when Sergeant Gilroy approached carrying two of their Baker rifles. “Begging your pardon sir” he said, “Miss Charlotte tells me she’s a bit slow at reloading – well I thought.........” He tailed off speaking looking a bit embarrassed but I jumped up exclaiming, “What a splendid idea getting taught how to reload like a trooper – let’s go sergeant.”

With that and much to Gilroys embarrassment I linked my arm into his and we walked off into the surrounding fields where I was shown how to reload lying prone, as the troopers have to do.
Of course we couldn’t fire the gun for fear of being heard so after each load I had to draw the charge and make sure the breech was clear then start again.
As gunpowder was always in short supply I had to make sure that I caught the ball and charge of powder so it could be used again.
After a dozen or so times Gilroy grunted that I would do; then he showed me rudimentary field craft how to move and operate without being seen.
This was so very different to my real life as a woman and I thought that had things been different this could have been my life.

I gave an inward shudder at this as I simply couldn’t imagine being anything but what I was a young lady; as much as I loved being close to William I longed to feel soft silks and satins caress my skin and I longed to be totally clean again to smell and feel like the woman I was.

We walked back to camp I thanked the sergeant for his time and help then before I left I said, “I’ll clean the rifle then return it to you.”
“Y, y, you can clean a rifle miss?” He managed to stammer in surprise.
Happily I smiled at him answering, “Yes Patrick that was one thing William insisted upon if you use a weapon you have to know how to clean it – You can tell me how I have done when I hand it back to you!”
I returned to where my bed roll was and happily cleaned the Baker making especially sure that the breech and touch hole was spotless and the whole of the bore dry then I checked the flint then put all the cleaning equipment back in the patch box making sure that there was enough greased patches for the carbine bullets.

Then I returned it to Sergeant Gilroy he really gave the rifle a really good look over then to my delight he announced, “Miss your rifle passes – I didn’t think that you could clean one properly but Lieutenant Ffinch taught you well.”
I smiled happily and commented, “I really like these rifles but the are a bit too long for me to use easily.” He smiled back at me telling me, “Good rifles these what’s your aim like?”

This damped my enthusiasm as I admitted I could hit a man target at 200 paces but needed more practice.
“I’ll help you miss once we have finished this job and if the captain let’s us rest a while”
We were deep in conversation so never heard the captain and my William come up. “And what will you help Miss Charlotte with Gilroy?” Miles enquired.

“Nowt much sorr just to shoot a bit straighter.” He answered with a grin.

On impulse I gave him a kiss on the cheek which caused jeers and catcalls from the troopers lounged about the place and I swear he blushed though it was hard to tell as like everyone else his features were mahogany brown through the sun and weather.
I walked away with William leaving the poor sergeant to his blushes William commented, “You have made a conquest there dear Charlotte he’s not an easy man to know but a loyal friend when he likes you – and it would seem that he does like you.”

I hooked my arm into Williams and answered, “He’s nice but dangerous I sense.”
He looked at me saying, “You and your sense’s that man is the best shot in the whole of the Army apart from Harper who’s the Major’s company sergeant so if you do get lessons from him take heed my dear.”
While we were walking I asked a question that was bothering me “William Captain Miles looks so much younger than you yet he is a Captain – why is this?”
He gave me his lopsided grin answering, “I wondered when you would ask. You have noticed the scar across his forehead?” I nodded so William carried on, “Well during the Battle of Bussace he got that saving Wellington from an ambush it was a brave act he carried out – hence his promotion.”
I ran my finger across the scar he now bore above his left eye asking, “And how did you get this?”
He laughed telling me, “This was a stupid accident” “Now William that’s a lie don’t believe him Charlotte.” Captain Miles had approached us while we were talking. “William received that from a French sword saving me when my rifle had a missfire he should have been promoted but I’m a mere Captain – you have to save a General or above for that!”
Before I could ask any more questions the two of them went for a council of war and left me pondering just who my William was you certainly never saw this side of him at home.

It took 3 long days for our ‘spy’ to return to us he had been accepted in the village and found that there was a house on the outskirts that everyone kept away from through careful conversations he had found out that there were no French in the village but there were 5 men from ‘The South’.
Stupidly these men had upset the locals by forcing them to give them food. So it would seem that Anna was still alive and being held in the house.

Now the council of war could be held, as now there was something to work on.
Our ‘Spy’ drew a map of the village and the approaches; it was a hard village to approach as there were only two roads. One from the south that passes through a vee shaped valley.
The other approach was from the north, which was along a mountain pass.

The house that the men from the south were in was at the southern end of the village uphill from the main village.
It was decided that the main force would go up into the mountains and approach the house from above while a small number of men would approach from the south – hopefully both would be unseen though the village dogs would be the danger as any noise would set them off barking.

I would go with the men approaching the village from the south I was told in no uncertain terms I was to follow orders from Sergeant Gilroy who was leading the column from the south.
Captain Miles was to lead one of the squads going over the mountain while William would lead the other.
So the two mountain squads departed while we remained in camp the attack was to start at dawn tomorrow. The cry of a screech owl three times would be the signal to start the rescue. The song of the nightjar would call the attack off.
Sergeant Gilroy came and spoke to me telling me to remember what he had shown me about moving and he told me to stay between himself and Thompson (our renown poacher)

We were the diversion that could gain the rest some vital minutes the three of us would walk up the road from the south in full view while the troopers with us would merge into the cover.
Should the dogs start barking we would be seen and it would be assumed that we were the source of the dog’s unease.
Thompson and myself were in peasant costume while Sergeant Gilroy would pretend to be a deserter from the army the two rifles were hidden on the mule but could be easily reached if needed.
We waited until the time agreed then we made our way to the road for the first few miles we marched as a unit then about a mile from the village the rest of the troopers merged into the scrubland and we were alone.

As we approached the village dawn was just breaking a thin sliver of silver over the mountains. I was very nervous and the weight of the pistol I had thrust into my belt was reassuring.
Slowly as the light got better the shape of the village could be seen individual houses and fields but no lights were shown.
Sure enough one dog started barking which the rest of the village dogs soon took up and of course we were challenged by the villagers diverting all attention away from the house that stood apart.
As I looked at it I could see that the door was open and two men were intently watching the scene unfolding around us.

The sound of the screech owl rent the early morning stillness – the rescue was under way.
I didn’t know what to expect but it certainly was not the continued quietness I though a volley of shots would ring out but no.
I glanced at the house and noticed figures inching their way to the door where the two men were still standing listening to the loud discussions going on near the village.
Then the two men were gone, and figures poured through the open door a scream was heard that diverted all the attention away from we three.
In fluent Portuguese the villagers were told to return to their houses and no one would be harmed.

Finally the rest of the troopers came into the village square dragging 2 men but one was free and as the filthy figure approached I saw it was Anna.
I gave an excited shout and ran towards her crying, “Anna, Oh Anna you’re safe!”
She looked stunned and stammered, “M, m, m, mistress Charlotte surely it cannot be.” Then I was on her hugging her to me, “I’ve found you, I’ve really found you and you are alright?”

The troopers let the villagers take anything they wanted from the house unfortunately this was only a resting place the Frenchman was not coming here his orders were for the men who had kidnapped Anna to move on in a few days – at least that was what they told Captain Miles.
After the house was emptied place was burnt to the ground.

More discussions with the villagers and they agreed to tell us if the Frenchman should come to the village. Monsieur Ducos was the French spymaster and Sharpe wanted him really badly – so badly that it was very nearly a personal affair.
Everything then fell into place Major Sharpe was elsewhere William and Simon (Miles) had been sent on patrol watch over the area finding me and learning of my quest especially about the Frenchman was a gift from god for them.

We moved out of the village leaving the villagers to bury the two kidnappers that had been killed and taking the two still alive with us.
Not fully trusting the villagers watch posts were set up on all the approach’s to the village with 4 men at each post so as a 24 hour watch could be maintained.
Anna wanted to know why I was here and everyone took great delight in telling her that I had run away to find her.
“Oh Miss Charlotte you shouldn’t have done that – as long as they thought I was you I was safe!”

“Anna” I remonstrated, “That is the point! The Frenchman knows what I look like and as soon as he set eyes on you; your life would mean nothing – and I simply couldn’t allow that to happen.”

“But Miss, what is your mother going to say and your brother!” This had been bothering me for a while and I answered as honestly as I could, “No doubt I will be in deep trouble – again! But now I can return and face the music.”

Historical Note: The Baker Rifle – The Colonel responsible for establishing the Rifle Corps, influenced the initial designs of the Baker. The first model resembled the British Infantry Musket, but was rejected as too heavy. Baker was provided with a German Jäger rifle as an example of what was needed. The second model he made had a .75 calibre bore, the same calibre as the Infantry Musket. It had a 32-inch barrel, with eight rectangular rifling grooves; this model was accepted as the Infantry Rifle, but more changes were made until it was finally placed into production. The third and final model had the barrel shortened from 32 to 30 inches, and the calibre reduced to .653, which allowed the rifle to fire a .625 calibre carbine bullet with a greased patch which gripped the now-seven rectangular grooves in the barrel.
The rifle had a simple folding back sight with the standard large lock mechanism (initially marked 'Tower' and 'G.R.' under a Crown; later ones after the battle of Waterloo had 'Enfield'), with a swan-neck cock as fitted to the 'Brown Bess.' Like the German Jäger rifles, it had a scrolled brass trigger guard to help ensure a firm grip and a raised cheek-piece on the left-hand side of the butt. Like many rifles, it had a 'butt-trap' or patch box where greased linen patches and tools could be stored. The lid of the patch box was brass, and hinged at the rear so it could be flipped up. The stocks were made of walnut and held the barrel with three flat captive wedges.
During the Napoleonic Wars the Baker was reported to be effective at long range due to its accuracy and dependability under battlefield conditions. In spite of its advantages, the rifle did not replace the standard British musket of the day, the Brown Bess but was issued officially only to rifle regiments. In practice, however, many regiments, such as the 23rd Regiment of Foot (Royal Welch Fusiliers), and others, acquired rifles for use by some in their light companies during the time of the Peninsular War.
These units were employed as an addition to the common practice of fielding skirmishers in advance of the main column, who were used to weaken and disrupt the waiting enemy lines (the French also had a light company in each battalion that were trained and employed as skirmishers but these were only issued with muskets). With the advantage of the greater range and accuracy provided by the Baker rifle, the highly trained British skirmishers were able to defeat their French counterparts routinely and in turn disrupt the main French force by sniping at officers and NCOs.
The rifle was used by what were considered elite units, such as the 5th battalion and rifle companies of the 6th and 7th Battalions of the 60th Regiment of Foot, deployed around the world, and the three battalions of the 95th Regiment of Foot that served under the Duke of Wellington between 1808 and 1814 in the Peninsular War, the War of 1812 (3rd Batt./95th (Rifles)

In this and future episode’s of Book 2 I have borrowed very heavily from the excellent ‘Sharpe’ series of books by Bernard Cornwell which describe the times, the country and the life in the army perfectly.
I have avoided using any names in those novels but in a few places I have used Major Sharpe as a cameo character.

We then made camp close by a mountain stream with a really welcoming looking rock pool which was half a mile down stream surrounded by a small copse of trees.
I decided then that I was going to take the time to wash the clothes I had been wearing for the last month and change into my one spare set of clothes. Anna unfortunately didn’t have the option of a change of clothes as she happily informed me!

But I was ready for this and answered her, “Don’t worry Anna, when my clothes are dry you wash and wear them while I’ll wash your clothes then once they dry we have a spare set between us - now come.”

I had told William that I was going to bathe and he and Captain Miles read the riot act to the troopers threatening them with dire retribution should they approach the pool.
Sergeant Gilroy then growled his threats, which seemed to have more of an effect on the men than those of the officers!

On Gilroy’s advice we each took a pistol (as he put it ‘just in case’). Anna grumbled, “But Miss how do I use it?” so I showed her how to use is and commented, “ Just point and pull the trigger – but we won’t need it.”

We reached the pool and I stripped down to my underwear and washed my outer clothes in the pool. Spreading these out to dry I stripped down to my drawers and proceeded to wash myself I only had the smallest piece of soap but it felt really nice to be clean. I had borrowed William’s razor and carefully tended to my underarms then I asked Anna to withdraw a small way and removed my drawers to wash the rest.
I looked with distaste at my small boy bit’s actually hating the sight of them. As soon as I was clean I put of a clean pair of drawers once again hiding my ‘secret’ I heard a scream from Anna then the loud sound of a pistol.
I felt under my clothes on the bank of the pool and retrieved my own pistol just as the Frenchman appeared holding Anna around the neck moving towards me.

With a smile he said, “We meet again Mademoiselle what a beautiful sight you are too.” I glanced down remembering I was naked from the waist!
He took his chance while I was discomforted and made a grab for me just as Anna got a hand free and managed to hit him where apparently it really hurts a man!
He stumbled and I pulled the trigger the powder in the frizzen ignited but the main charge didn’t.
We both knew that the soldiers would be arriving any minute so in desperation he made a grab for the muzzle of my pistol just as the damn thing decided to fire.
It had suffered from what William called a ‘slow burn’ caused when some of the main charge gets damp but there is enough of a spark from the frizzen charge to eventually reach dry powder normally a gun is left for at least 5 minutes to see if it goes off.

The Frenchman was lucky as when the gun fired the heavy ball went straight through the palm of his hand.
He let out a sharp cry; then as Anna and I ran one way he too fled into the trees and I heard the sound of a horse galloping away.
Just then William burst though the trees and taking in the scene before him ordered his men to follow the sound of the horse.
I saw him drinking in the sight of my exposed breasts like they were ambrosia as I restored some modesty with a fresh chemise I quipped, “You have to marry me now dear William!”
He blushed crimson – well I think he did because like Gilroy and the rest he was mahogany brown.
The bark of the baker rifle came through the air and a cheer the sound of, “Good shootin S’gent” was heard then groans I finished dressing and the three of us joined the troopers at the edge of the trees.

It would seem that Sergeant Gilroy had fired a shot at a moving target at over 300 yards and hit him – but the exuberance was short lived as Monsieur Ducos had managed to regain his balance and galloped off though he was twice wounded.
Captain Miles barked some orders and led a party consisting of the best trackers following the trail while Anna and I were taken back to the main camp.
I spread my wet clothes out to dry in the sun and settled down next to Anna. William came and sat beside me telling me, “While you were at the pool like Aphrodite we have received orders that we head for army headquarters at Braganca where you can be escorted back to Lisbon.

I was sad at leaving William but I knew it must be and anyhow it would be nice to dress as a lady once again.
So I settled down to wait for the small party to return and taking up where I had left off continued to teach Anna her letters and numbers – now more than ever I was determined to help her rise above her station and reading, writing and numbers were part of this.
After four days the party returned empty handed frustrated that Monsieur Ducos had eluded them so we broke camp and headed for Braganca Anna and I riding my trusty horse with the donkey carrying excess baggage of the troops.

The nearer we got to headquarters the more I wondered what mama and Edward would say to me despite of my high ideals for absconding I had let my brother down and no doubt caused hurt to my dear mama, I had been absent for 6 weeks now!
Realistically I knew there was nothing I could do about my reception but I still fretted.
As we approached Braganca William was marching alongside me when he gasped “Oh shit!”
Startled I asked what was the matter he just nodded towards the city and the open ground.
I still didn’t understand so I asked, “William whatever is the matter?” He looked up at me with concern and answered in a flat voice, “The Army has moved – this makes things very difficult.”

We approached Braganca and found the remnants of the army getting ready to follow the main army north into Spain.
Viscount Wellington had marched into Spain with 121,000 men his lines of communications had been moved from Lisbon to the ports in Northern Spain.

The troops complete with Anna and I had been ordered to follow the army at greatest speed into the mountains of Spain – which meant Anna and I would be going with them.
This caused William great consternation, as he feared my reputation would be ruined spending such a long time alone with him. He was voicing his worries to me when Miles passed and commented, “Easy William – marry the girl there is a contingent of padre’s in the camp getting ready to go north they can do it.”

I WAS ECSTATIC!!!! “Oh yes William then I can lie with you.” Realising what I had just said I blushed crimson.
Both the Captains chuckled and Captain Miles said, “There you are – that is an offer you cannot refuse the girl is obviously in love with you!”

And this was how I became married to William very unconventional but I suppose that this word applies to my whole life up until this time.
However before I married Anna and I went into Braganca and bought some new clean clothing.
We were allowed an hour so we had to hurry. We chose outfits in the Portuguese ‘Maja’ style (as these were all that was available) these consisted of a loose fitting blouse and a skirt that was slightly higher at the front than the back very loose so as to enable a horse to be ridden.
Over the blouse a waistcoat was worn the skirt reached below the knee at the front and to the heels at the back the skirt had numerous petticoats.
We each bought three outfits complete with a pair of flat slipper shoes (for best) and riding boots for normal wear.

My wedding dress was a deep red skirt with contrasting black petticoats a while light cotton peasant blouse and a red and black satin waistcoat I wore my flat best shoes and a black hat with a wide brim to shield me from the sun. This was so very different to what I had dreamed of but I was marrying William and that was the main thing.
An Army Chaplain conducted the wedding ceremony he looked most shocked at being forced into conducting such a service.
Anna was my bridesmaid Captain Miles gave me away while Sergeant Harrison (Williams second in command) was his best man.
The congregation - well that consisted of 55 troopers that had made a very special effort to tidy them selves up and resemble soldiers.

From inception to completion took 4 hours! I was a married woman! The most unconventional wedding ever but I treasured each second of it on the baking plain just outside the Portuguese city of Braganca.
Enough time was allowed to toast the bride and groom we had rough local wine then we were on the road north to catch up with the main army.
As the troopers were quick marching Anna and I had a horse each and three mules for the excess baggage of the troopers.
The extra horse we had bought in Braganca was, like mine a small mountain horse dun brown, sure footed and sturdy – about 14 hands high.
The mules that the troopers had ‘liberated’ were small mountain animals and carried all the extra supplies and water for the troops.
Before we left Sergeant Gilroy approached and shyly said, “Miss the lads would like to give you this as a wedding present.”
One of the troopers passed me a Baker Carbine, which was considerably shorter than the 40” barrel rifle they used.

I was overjoyed this was to me at this time the best present I could have received.
And I said so thanking all of them from the bottom of my heart. I checked it carefully loaded it and slung it over my shoulder.
William approached and on seeing my present exclaimed, “Charlotte where on earth did you get that?”
Proudly I told him, “Isn’t it not splendid William it’s a wedding present from Captain Miles men.”
He was dumbfounded commenting, “I daren’t ask how they got hold of that as it’s for cavalry use.”

Then we set off at the 95ths fast march! I could see why they had insisted that Anna and I rode the horses as the pace was punishing and we two would never have kept up!
They marched at what they called ‘Double March’ which confused me as I knew that their normal march was 140 paces but now they were doing 180 paces per minute, which was not two 140!
While marching at this pace their rifles hung from their shoulders horizontally (or as they called it at the trail).
They maintained this punishing pace for 50 minutes every hour with a 10 minute break.
Anna and I complete with the mules followed the troopers breathing and choking on the dust they kicked up. Every trooper carried a pack that weighed about 30lbs, his water canteen, powder and shot and of course his rifle, which weighed 9lbs.

There was a marked difference in the men at this pace. Gone was the good-natured banter and laughter, as they needed all their energy and breath for marching. At the rest breaks they slumped to the ground taking a sip of water from their canteens then it was off again.
They kept this up for 10 hours! And there was no distinction with rank William and Captain Miles marched with their men – this was a side of William I had never known about and mentally I compared it to how his brother and Clarissa’s brothers life differed they had a life in their regiments of privilege and relative ease.

We marched from northern Portugal across the mountains of northern Spain and the Esla River.
Apparently Marshal Jourdan’s army of 68,000 were strung out between the Douro and the Tagus so Wellington avoided them his target was Joseph Bonaparte’s army.
Also Wellington shortened his lines of communications by shifting his base of operations to San Sebastian on the northern Spanish coast.

We met up with the main army and met Wellington the upshot of this meeting was no one could be spared to escort us to the coast so we would stay where we were! However we had the opportunity to write letters home so I wrote to Edward profusely apologizing for my actions and begging his forgiveness.

I also wrote a short but very heartfelt letter to mama.

Dearest Mama,

I am so very sorry for all the distress and shame I must have caused you and the family - please believe me when I say this.
I was selfish yes I realise this now - but I simply could not let Anna die as once the French Spy looked upon her and realised that his bundling villain’s had kidnapped the wrong person she most certainly would have been killed or used most foully.
I met up with a number of the 95th regiment commanded by a Captain Miles we later joined up with more of the same regiment this time commanded by William and rescued Anna.

I was expecting to be returned to Lisbon but Viscount Wellington had moved chasing the French through Spain so I am still with William.
I know this next piece of news will hurt you sorely but I am now married to William. An army chaplain outside the city of Braganca conducted the service.
Neither William nor I wanted to hurt you but as I had to remain with him unchaperoned we both thought that marriage would protect my reputation.

Oh dearest Mama I am so very sorry for making you so sad and so worried you are my world, my strength and my heroine please I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive your wayward daughter.

If not then I understand and with a heavy heart accept your judgment of me.

Your Dearest but Very Selfish Daughter

Charlotte.

I also wrote a letter for Anna to her Midshipman it was very loving and down to earth so I had to put things more politely – but Anna cared for him greatly and with the speed she was learning to write would soon be able to write her own letters.

Captain Miles was summoned to meet with Wellington and later I too was summoned to his headquarters tent.
The meeting with the famous Wellington was interesting to say the least.

Wellington was a tall man with a fearsome demeanour with piercing eyes a huge beak of a nose and a haughty expression.
To say he chastised me was putting things mildly he called me all the selfish, silly stubborn girls under the sun making his feelings very clear.
I stood straight and looked him straight in the eye’s accepting the verbal assault I was verbally stripped and flogged when he had finished but I would not break down in front of him.

Finally after a twenty-minute tirade he stopped and looked fiercely at me ending with, “Young Lady we cannot afford the men to escort you to the coast so you will be remaining with the army for now.
For some reason Captain Miles speaks highly of you and praises your misplaced loyalty so you and your companion will remain with the Captain and your husband until we can return you to England. You may go Lady Charlotte.”

And with that he dismissed me like a common soldier. Despondently I made my way back to where the 95th were camped where I slumped down excitedly Anna asked, “When are we going back to England Miss?”
“You’re not” came the voice of Captain Miles. Anna gasped as the he carried on; “The two of you are coming with us god alone knows what he is thinking about but for the time being you are under William’s and my care!”

As the Anglo-Portuguese forces swept northwards in late May Anna and I went with the 95th ranging far ahead of the main army Anna and I were in charge of the mules getting food ready and tending any wounded.

The army and seized Burgos, outflanking the French army and forcing Joseph Bonaparte into the Zadorra valley.

In late June the Battle of Vitoria took place where Bonaparte’s army was routed the 95th took some casualties Anna and I were kept busy tending to the wounded.
Luckily most of ‘our’ troopers were not badly hurt as they were not in the massed ranks of the main army but concealed as their job was to shoot the French officers rendering the French army leaderless.
This was the role of the sharp shooters a lesson sorely learned by the British Army from the American war of independence.
We cleaned and bandaged the wounds and made the troopers as comfortable as we could.
Sometimes we received some wounded from the redcoats – these were horrendous wounds the massed fire of the French had damaged these men horribly all we could really do was comfort these poor creatures as we simply didn’t know what to do.

We both noticed that when these poor men were dying or had a serious stomach wound that would eventually kill them they always asked for their mothers and being female we could help them a little.

Historical Note – This note is longer than normal mainly because I watched the ‘Trooping of the Colour’ and thought how all this what is now pageantry used to be the way that armies fought in the massed battles. The complex movements seen these days used send the massed ranks into battle either in ranks, squares or in extremis circles.
Military bands have existed a long time but on the battle field the fife and drum were the main methods of communication between the officers and massed ranks of soldiers.
In the cavalry the bugle was the main communication method.

‘The Colours’ this is given to each regiment and is a flag with the regiments crest on it and all the ‘Battle Honours’ the regiment had earned. This flag was ‘Trooped’ before the massed ranks while they were in training and it was these colours that they fought for and rallied around – this was the focal point of the regiment and to loose the colours was a disgrace.

However by tradition, rifle regiments do not carry colours; this goes back to their formation, when they were used as skirmishers and sharpshooters. While individual units may have had banners or pennants to distinguish themselves from other units, the regiments as a whole never needed a full stand of Colours

Medical services during the Napoleonic Era were basic, to say the least. There was little knowledge of hygiene, antibiotics were non-existent and the most often used treatment for serious battle wounds was amputation a skilled surgeon could remove a limb in under 4 minutes!

If a soldier survived a battle but was wounded, the chances were high he would end up dead from infection.
Troops were taken from the field - sometimes days after the battle had ended - and had to endure not only the pain of their wounds, but also thirst, flies and blood loss.
Then came an agonizing and jolting journey to a makeshift surgery where overworked and frequently talentless men did their best to save them.

Modern readers will often be surprised at the fortitude shown by wounded soldiers who, despite fearful injuries, often walked themselves away from the field of battle.
The first-hand accounts of amputations also underline the tremendous courage of the men in an age where anesthetics simply did not exist.
Instead of painkillers officers were offered rum or brandy, but enlisted men had nothing more than a piece of wood or leather to bite down on.
There is one reports of a British soldier sitting up on a table singing while his leg was taken off below the knee. Apparently he had somehow gotten to the rum and drunk a large quantity of the aforementioned anesthetic.

Many troops remained completely silent under the knife - it being bad ‘form’ to utter a sound while the surgeon did his work - but Russian soldiers were actually banned from making any sounds at all when wounded or being operated on.

Another tale tells of watching a British officer swearing for 20 minutes while the surgeon struggled to remove the limb with a saw blunted through over use that day. At the end of it, the man then thanked the surgeon.
That officer was Major George Napier, who said of his ordeal:
"I must confess I did not bear the amputation of my arm as well as I ought to have done, for I made noise enough when the knife cut through my skin and flesh.
It is no joke I assure you, but still it was a shame to say a word."

Mind you, one brave soul probably took things too far when he used his own just-cut-off arm to beat into silence a Frenchman complaining when he was being treated for a musket ball wound! This anecdote I would treat with a large pinch of salt.

There are verified descriptions of bloody sawn-off limbs being callously thrown out hospital tents to land near wounded troops waiting for their own amputations.
Even more terrible are the statistics that show of all the men who underwent post-battle amputations, only a third of them survived.

Using a butterfly bandage, which was made of an early form of sticking plaster and bandage they would treat ragged wounds. It was first attached to one side of the wound and drawn tightly to meet the other side and then being stuck to that. A bandage would help keep everything in place and allow the wound to heal together.
Stitches were made from cotton thread, silk or sinew and were used to pull together larger wounds.
Bayonets, swords and knives left deep puncture wounds were usually fatal if they were in the chest or abdomen as there was little the medical staff could do about them.
To treat these surgeons often let the wound bleed for a while to clean it of dirt or clothing material and in many cases actually increased the width of the injury to boost the exit of unwanted matter.
Even slight musket ball wounds carried the deadly potential of infection as well as being made from lead the projectile would take with it small pieces of uniform, as well as dirt.
If it hit bone then the resulting splinters added to the bacterial danger and there was always the risk of straight out just bleeding to death.
Deeply embedded musket balls - below the depth of a surgeon's finger - were regularly left inside the body and allowed to work themselves into a shallower position. Many veterans carried the leaden balls inside them for the rest of their lives.
An interesting statistic concerns the deaths in Army Hospitals between 1812 and 1814. Out of a total of 14,000 deaths only 2,700 died of their actual wounds – the rest died of bad hygiene and disease contracted while in the hospital.

In this and future episode’s of Book 2 I have borrowed very heavily from the excellent ‘Sharpe’ series of books by Bernard Cornwell which describe the times, the country and the life in the army perfectly.
I have avoided using any names in those novels but in a few places I have used Major Sharpe as a cameo character.

The French were routed and a decisive victory could have been gained except for the fact that when the French fled the battlefield they left all their cannon and King Joseph Bonaparte’s personal baggage train which the British troops stopped pursuit to loot!

As for Anna and I we were simply too tired and as things calmed down and the redcoats wounded were taken to the surgeons we simply huddled into each other and fell soundly asleep.
This was how William found us servant and mistress indistinguishable smeared in blood clothing in dire need of washing but totally at peace with the world knowing we had done our best.
“Took part in some looting have you?” He asked I was confused until he pointed out that beside each of us there was a small neat hoard of some gold rings necklace and coins.

Anna looked at me aghast, “Miss where did this come from?” I shook my head, as I had no idea.”
I looked at William he smiled and answered my unasked question, “I think you have been made honorary members of the 95th it’s my guess the troopers left these as a token of thanks for you tending their wounded – but hide them in your pack as Wellington is not pleased as the French escaped when the troops stopped to loot.”

We cleaned ourselves up looking in despair at our ruined skirts now we only had one change but until a camp was made near running water we could not wash out clothes.
Sergeant Gilroy and four troopers came up to us carrying two large bundles as he approached he cheerfully told us, “These may be more use to you ladies than this lot” nodding at the men carrying the bundles, – “They want to thank you.”
They dumped the bundles and we went to see what they were.
What found a selection of the most beautiful dresses and gowns in the finest silk, satins and other exotic fabrics. But more important to the two of us there were a selection of skirts and tops in the Maja style but made of the finest of cloth these had been made for King Joseph’s queen but were just what we needed.

Again we were confused how on earth did these men find these? Just then an officer arrived and took one look commenting, “Looting is a capital offence – you know that Ladies?”
“B, b, b, but we ...........” I started when Gilroy butted in putting on his full Irish brogue, “Sorr the lads found these by the side of the road and thought of the ladies it’s a present sorr!”
The officer walked away chuckling and muttering to himself, “Present indeed - really if I thought you had been looting Gilroy I’d have you flogged!”

Sergeant Gilroy affected a look of righteous indignation and innocence protesting, “Me sorr, looting sorr – never sorr.” Looking at the two of us he told us quietly, “That’s Major Sharpe.”
Sharpe continued to walk away then he turned saying to Anna and myself “Pick what you want and pack them small as the mules and your horses have to carry them. Oh and thank you for looking after our wounded.”

The troopers then produced four French backpacks taken from the dead on the battlefield for us to pack our new supply of clothes.
These were better than the English Army back packs (which were made of wood and very uncomfortable to carry) These French ones were made of leather more comfortable and easier to pack (and bigger) I decided that we would keep all of the Maja style and 3 gowns each but only those that would pack small we also managed to keep a lot of underwear.

Once again the troopers showed us how to roll our dresses to fit into the backpacks this helped them not to crease too badly. Then we were shown how to secure backpacks to our horses.
And we were off again. We didn’t realise it then but we would be with these men for over a year and this year was among some of the happiest and yet some of the most depressing of my life.

Wellington’s army reached the Pyrenees in the spring and early summer of 1813 and it was wet!
Horrendously and depressingly WET. Fever was rife and the troops demoralised the campaign continued in a delusory manner.
All sides English, French, Spanish and Portuguese committed atrocities on the civilian populous but I am proud to say none of the 95th took part in this as for a lot of the time we ranged far ahead of the encamped army watching for the French to make any sudden move.
I was at my happiest when William and I shared a tent and I could show him my love. I had learned how to relieve him with my fingers and mouth.
In turn I loved it when he played with my breasts making my nipples stand hard to attention and giving me strange but wonderful feelings elsewhere on my body.

It was an unconventional marriage I admit but I was hopelessly in love and William professed his love for me many times daily.

I had received some letters from Mama and one from my brother. When I received the first it was with trepidation that I opened it.
Mama roundly chastised my stupid selfish acts but she tempered this by saying that she always knew I was strong spirited and that she forgave me – to say I was happy was an understatement my prop, my support, my beloved mama had forgiven me.
She said that she understood why we married but was very disappointed that through my selfish acts it was necessary.

Edward’s letter was slightly colder and more formal; he too understood why I did what I had done but could not condone it; however he did approved of my ‘punishment’ of tending the needs of the wounded – maybe it would temper my impetuous nature.
Anna could now read and write her own letters; she got sporadic replies as of course her beloved was at sea where sending and receiving mail is difficult but it would seem that their relationship was blossoming.

One day in the late spring we were crossing the mountains when we happened upon a remote Hacienda as was usual we approached with caution but unfortunately some marauding deserters had arrived first, they were too busy abusing the lady of the house and her maid to notice our approach.
In the ensuing skirmish the maid received a fatal wound and the lady was stabbed in the stomach by the deserters - why I will never know.

William had the deserters hung while Anna and I tended the woman and her maid.
The woman was frantic and kept pointing to the floor eventually we heard a mewling sound and realised that somehow she had managed to hide her children.
Eventually we found two tiny babies who looked like they were about a month old and they were very hungry we lay them at their mother’s breast and watched as they suckled.
However as the days progressed it became apparent that her wound had become infected which was very bad. Anna and I did what we could but our knowledge was more about gun shot wounds and stab wounds than fever all we could do was make her comfortable and wait.
Her milk dried up as her body fought the infection so we had to feed the babies with ewe’s milk. One of the troopers who had been a shepherd showed us how to make a teat for the babies to suckle on.

I gladly took the task of feeding these little scraps of humanity and loved doing it.
Meanwhile the mother was really ill she had her two babies with her when she was lucid looking at them with adoration and regret in truth knowing that she would never see them grow.
It was a week after we found them that the mother joined her husband and died as my tears fell for her I looked at Anna in despair. “What are we going to do Miss?” Anna asked me.
Distraught I shook my head while holding the twins, “I have no idea Anna, no idea at all.”

As I looked at these sleeping babies a surge of love swept through me as it was now up to Anna and I to look after these children.
One night while I lay in William’s arms I heard a whimper from the makeshift crib near by.
Getting up I fed and cleaned the twins while William watched me.
Settling them down again I returned to him he commented, “You make a good mother Charlotte.” Then he kissed my nose.

I snuggled down contentedly then I exclaimed, “Darling can we keep the twins as our own?” The thought of this made me feel very excited.
William looked at me like I had lost my mind, “Charlotte I know you love them but we cannot it simply wouldn’t be right.”
But by now I was excited and very determined, “So William what are we going to do with them? Cast them aside to be brought up by god knows who or give them a good life!
You know that I can never give you children – but here is a chance for us. We have been married over a year now no one would think it odd for us to have children of this age.”

We argued, discussed and talked this over for the rest of the night getting no sleep whatsoever and to be honest getting nowhere for every argument William made I had a counter argument.
In the end William made this concession to me by saying, “Look Charlotte I’ll speak to Major Sharpe I trust his council.” “Even on something like this?” I countered.

He looked steadily at me answering, “Yes even on something as personal as this the Major is a man of vast experience including being abandoned as a child – so yes I trust him on this.”

By the time we had agreed on this it was dawn and the camp was stirring so I got out of bed and went to tend to my toilet then I attended to the twins. Anna came a short time later with milk from the ewe and I fed the two of them.
Anna and I bathed the children then dressed them in fresh clothes (not that we had very many but we had taken as much as we could from the hacienda).

Then we sat playing with them I was wondering what major Sharpe would say, as he always looked fierce and disapproving.

Then his voice dragged me out of my reverie, “Anna would you please leave myself and her Ladyship to speak in private?”
After Anna left he sat next to me looking at me playing with these two scraps of humanity.
A small smile played on his lips “William has spoke of your hair brained scheme”
He started to say more but I interrupted him, “It’s not hair brained someone has to look after these poor children and William and I can give them a good life.” I stared at him daring him the challenge me.

“I always told William that you were a force to be reckoned with. And Captain Miles said that you were stubborn BUT now will you please HEAR ME OUT!” he shouted this last like he was on the parade ground this caused some heads to turn no doubt thinking that I was getting another tongue lashing the troopers grinned at me in sympathy.
I nodded so he started again, “Lady Charlotte are you certain about this? William has told me you cannot have children – though not the reason why. I can understand your need – but is this the correct course of action.”

I decided on a half-truth here to explain why I was seemingly barren, “Richard” I began then realised what I had said in some confusion I asked, “May I call you Richard?”
He gave that sardonic smile and answered, “It is my name.” I smiled my thanks and started again.
“Richard the reason the surgeons say I cannot have children is that a few years ago I was thrown from my horse (true) and the horse rolled on me (also true) this caused a bleed from ........ err, emmm, (False)” I stopped in confusion the major nodded and commented, “I understand.”
I blushed my thanks and continued, “William is full aware of this but was still was determined to marry me – now these children have come into our life and well it would seem that God is looking down on us.”

He grunted at this then muttered, “Indeed God may be doing just that but what about your families what will they say? Good lord you are part of the gentry these children are ------- well orphans and you know what your class are like.”

I nodded sadly then carried on with my argument, “Richard a child is simply that an innocent bystander in life – what is the difference between a child born to wealth and one in poverty? Apart from the conditions there is no difference.”
He nodded at this apparently deep in thought so hopefully I continued.
“William is a second son so the title and most of the inheritance will go to his brother and as for me – well I am a mere girl I will inherit little so yes we are gentry but we will have not be titled.”
We can bring these two children up to a good life, educate and care for them – no one knows that they are not our own.”

He barked a laugh at this and answered, “No one knows? Girl only 55 troopers and your maid that’s all that knows!” “Companion Anna is my companion” I corrected him crossly.

I looked at him imploringly, “Please Richard look on us favourably if you refuse god knows what will happen to these poor children they could end up on the streets.”
As I said this, the little girl gurgled and reached out to the major who took the tiny hand into his. His features softened for a second then he stood up saying, “I must think on this Lady Charlotte.”

Then he left I was torn at least he hadn’t said no – yet! Anna came back and sat next to me I was deep in thought I needed someone to confide in. “Anna” I started somewhat hesitantly, “I see you as a friend and hope you feel the same about me.”
She looked surprised, “A friend me bless your soul Miss I am a servant. But I would do anything for you.”

I looked at her mulling over what she had just said then continued, “No Anna you are more than a servant – after what we have gone through this part year I see you as a friend.”
Then I hugged her close, “Bless you Miss Charlotte it’s not right for the likes of me to be friends with you.”
“Why not” I countered. She looked confused then managed to say, “Well you’re gentry I’m not.”
I was irritated at this and asked, “If I wasn’t gentry could we be friends?” “Oh yes I would love that.”

“Well there you are” we can be friends I concluded. Before she had time to think I continued.
Now as a friend I am going to tell you something – but you must never breath anything of this to any living soul promise me this Anna!

She looked troubled answering, “If it’s that you’re not a maid I knows and I would never tell anyone that – I love you too much!”
That floored me! “H, h, how did you?” I never finished as she informed me, “I’ve known a while remember we wash together half naked but it’s never-no-matter to me I will never tell anyone.”

Still stunned I soldiered on, “No it’s not that but I hope that you never tell anyone about that either. This is much more important.” I took a deep breath then continued, “I want to take the twins as William and my own children I want to raise them educate them and give them a good life.”

I took a deep breath then finished, “And I need you to help me by being their governess and nanny!”

Anna looked stunned, totally stunned then she recovered exclaiming excitedly, “Oh Miss you are such a lovely person. What a wonderful idea giving them little mites a life Oh Miss Charlotte you are an angel.”
Then she stopped and looked at me in awe, “M, m, m, me a governess but I’m not educated how can this be?”
Briskly I answered, “Anna you know right from wrong that is the main thing in life. The rest I can teach you then you’ll be ready for your sailor – a lady suitable for him.”

Tears filled her eyes and she fell into my arms, “Oh Miss Charlotte I knew I wasn’t of the same class as John and I knew that once he found out about me I would loose him – but now! Oh thank you Miss Charlotte I promise never to speak of this.”
I hugged her back telling her not to be so silly then I commented, “The way Mr Newsome looks at you I don’t think you would have lost him Anna.”

Now all I have to do is wait for major Sharpe to give his blessing – or not!

Historical Note: SOCIAL CLASSES: At this time your class defined the life you would lead it was a tangled web there were Aristocrats (titled), upper gentry, lower gentry (pseudo-gentry), tradespeople, lower class.
Social rank depends upon family background, genteel upbringing, and wealth. A new class of “nouveau riche” who made money in trade are now becoming gentry.
Aristocrats and upper gentry aspired to be accepted by the “ton” – a word in usage at the time for the high society in London.
If a man’s mother was a Lady he could not inherit a title the title could only come down the male line. He is upper gentry with high status “old” family background and wealth (bordering on aristocracy).
A family that is lower gentry, or “pseudo-gentry” since they don’t own their land or house, and their income depends entirely on one breadwinner.
They will drop to lower class after the breadwinner dies unless their daughters marry into wealth.
(I hope you managed to keep up with this convoluted system)

Servants: Most country homes are relatively self-sufficient in regard to providing the food consumed by families. Think of servants as substitutes for laborsaving devices or modern conveniences – including most items that we buy ready-made in shops today including clothes.

Indoor servants draw water, help their masters and mistresses dress, do ladies hair, make candles for lighting, maintain all fireplaces for heat, maintain the ovens for cooking, pick vegetables and fruits from the gardens, cook food from scratch, serve food, make preserves and home remedies, wash dishes, make and mend everyday clothes, clean house and floors, make soap, do laundry by hand, make/repair furniture, run errands, deliver messages, announce visitors, help tend the ill. Outdoor servants drive carriages, feed and care for horses and livestock, plant crops, maintain the grounds and kitchen gardens, and much more.

A Lady’s Companion from the description of this position it would seem that Charlotte is not doing very much for Anna but in the context of the time Charlotte is giving Anna a huge opportunity to elevate herself above the servant class. she now will work everyday as a ladies’ companion and governess on minimal salary (such as 10 pounds a year) living in genteel poverty.

This may not seem much but as a lady’s companion was usually from the lower gentry of society (daughters of vicars, doctors, teachers and the like) it will allow Anna to marry her midshipman and live comfortably.

Adoption: this was far more widespread than one would have thought but for genealogists the complete absence of paper records at this time proves really difficult.
To adopt children like these Charlotte and William have really gone out on a limb though their argument of being the youngest son and a mere girl is a good one as neither expects to inherit the title.

In this and future episode’s of Book 2 I have borrowed very heavily from the excellent ‘Sharpe’ series of books by Bernard Cornwell which describe the times, the country and the life in the army perfectly.
I have avoided using any names in those novels but in a few places I have used Major Sharpe as a cameo character.

I was kept waiting for five days throughout this time I could see Major Sharpe looking at me talking to Sergeant Gilroy and William but saying nothing to me.
I quizzed William every night but the major was telling him nothing. Hence as the time passed I grew more and more despondent. As Major Sharpe was leaving soon to advance into Northern Spain thence to France this would leave Richard and his platoon with the main army to act as their eyes and ears

Anna tried to look on the bright side and tried to cheer me up but it was no good by now she could read and write quite well and I managed to start to teach her some French and continue with her numbers.
Then it was time to move the camp was a hive of activity Anna and I started to gather our meagre possessions when the major approached us.
“Not you two Ladies Viscount Wellington does not think it proper that a mother and her children should march with us – you are being sent back to England.”

Anna was the first to catch on to his words she exclaimed, “Oh Miss Charlotte we are going home!”
Then I realised what he had said I looked at him asking, “You agree Richard?” He nodded saying, “Yes Miss Charlotte so Viscount Wellington is sending an escort to take you back to the coast and there will be a ship to take you home.”

He looked steadily at me continuing, “I have always liked your spirit. There are not many of your class that would risk their lives for their maid...” “Companion” I corrected him automatically.
“By God you are so argumentative woman! Now where was I? Not only risking their life for their companion (he said that in an ironic tone) but willing to bring up two orphans as their own. Indeed you and young William are very special for your class.”

I dropped him a curtsy thanking him from the bottom of my heart before he left he commented. “No one here will say anything about the children they think too much of the two of you and Sergeant Gilroy has threatened them with dire retribution if they do!” He smiled grimly as he said this then finished with,
“Now I suggest that the two of you change into some of your looted finery so you look like ladies; your escort will be here shortly.”

As he left I asked, “Richard when I christen the twins may I call the boy Richard?”
His face softened as he replied, “I would be proud for you to do this.”
Then I turned to Sergeant Gilroy asking, “I would also like Patrick to be another of his names if I could Sergeant?”

Gilroy beamed and said he also would be honoured then he asked, “What are you calling the little girl Miss?”

I thought briefly and informed everyone, “Our daughter will be Annabelle Constance Anna Ffinch. (Annabelle is William’s mothers first name and Constance my mothers second name).
While our son will be named George Edmund Richard Patrick Ffinch (My Father’s name was Edmund and George is Williams fathers name) - do you agree William?

William had a smile that said it all. The major commented, “Wise man William agreeing – your wife in this mood brooks little argument!”
I realised that I had just said my daughter and son and it felt wonderful though what Mama would say remains to be seen.
Anna squealed, “Oh Miss Charlotte you are calling her after me! Oh what an honour thank you miss!”

Then William and I spent time writing letters to our parents telling them of the ‘happy event’
My letter to Mama was couched in words that I hoped Mama would or could read my real meaning into the letter and she is fully aware that I could not have children.

The relevant passage of my letter was

William and I have had a joyous event and have been blessed by God with twins a boy and a girl.
They came into our lives while we were in the mountains of Portugal and I must say the birth for me was very easy.
Dearest Mama I know this will be a shock to you but I hope that once again you will forgive me.
I know this letter will reach you before I arrive back in England but the first thing I will do is to visit you to tell you my story.

The rest of my letter contained general trivia and gossip as is usual in families.

After we had written the letters they were sealed and sent poste haste to the coast along with other regimental correspondence’s to be sent to England on a fast messenger sloop.

Then I smiled and hugged Anna saying, “Come let us make ready to depart.”
Our ‘looted finery’ as the major called the ladies clothes the troopers had liberated from King Joseph Bonaparte’s personal baggage train were of the finest I had ever seen we also had some jewellery and of course our small hoard of ‘liberated’ gold the troopers had given us.

We washed in the stream then dressed for the first time in well over a year I wore a corset.
My underclothes were of the finest cotton Anna tied my corset and I did the same for her.
My dress was Empire line in the finest peach silk with a gossamer over dress in gold with embroidered flowers the dress was gathered under my bust leaving my creamy shoulders exposed and it had small puff-ball sleeves.
The dress came down to my ankles and I wore black silk stockings and delightful black shoes.

Anna wore a cream lawn dress with ruffles along the bust line and the hem her dress had ¾ sleeves her neckline was more modest than my own.
It was wonderful to look and feel like a woman again to feel the silk against skin I absolutely revelled in the feeling.
My long hair was brushed straight down my back and caught at the back of my head with elaborate tortoise shell combs. I also wore a wide brimmed hat and carried a parasol.

“Oh Miss Charlotte you look wonderful.” Anna gasped. I smiled my thanks and repaid the compliment adding, “Now we go back to England dear Anna.”

We left the tent and caused quite a stir all action stopped as the troopers stared at us as usual Gilroy broke the spell shouting, “C’mon ya lazy bastards get a move on!”
Then as he came round the corner he stopped when he saw us and stammered, “M’lady sorry I didn’t see ya.”
I smiled sweetly and admonished him, “I thought I have told you to call me Charlotte?”
He looked embarrassed mumbling, “Yes M’lady but you look like - well a lady.”

“Patrick these are just clothes I’m still the same person” I stated. “B, b, but” he started to say so I went over to him and kissed him on his prickly cheek.
This got him all embarrassed and I swear he blushed.
I went and found my husband and children kissing him on the lips I whispered, “I do love you William are you sure you do not mind the children?”
He smiled lovingly answering, “No my dear heart our family is complete – but what will your mother say?”
I grinned cheekily and answered, “I simply do not know my love but she’ll come around after all I am her wayward daughter and having these two may curb the wild side of me.”

There came the trill of a nightingale William looked at me and sadly said, “Your escort is approaching Charlotte.” I grinned and answered, “William you really must ask Thompson if he would become our gamekeeper when this bloody war finished.”

Then I clung to William, as I didn’t know when I would see him again I whispered, “I love you so very much I promise you I’ll look after our children and you promise my you will look after yourself.”
He kissed me tenderly answering, “I will my love. I love you with all my heart.”
Another kiss and the escort arrived with a wagon for Anna and myself and a dozen redcoats under a young Ensign mounted on a fine horse.

The Ensign looked about sixteen and in truth a pimply-faced youth (this from a girl of Twenty Two years) and he was full of his own self-importance.
“You there! Fellow!” he imperiously shouted towards Gilroy and William. I could see them both bristle at this young spotty faced youths tone.
Gilroy answered, “D’ee mean us?” he said this with an insolent sneer on his face goading the youth.
This worked perfectly as the Ensign sat higher in the saddle, “Yes you now where is your commanding officer – and be quick before I have you flogged.”

This was like a red rag to a bull and Sergeant Gilroy played the insolent idiot perfectly. (I had seen his back and the latticework of scars caused by the lash)
Patrick looked at William – who hadn’t said a word as yet saying, “He want’s an officer he do?”
William played along saying in a broad Yorkshire accent, “Aye he do!”
The youth full of his own self importance and rage made the mistake of raising his riding crop as if to strike Gilroy and William.
Instantly a dozen baker rifles were raised pointed at the Ensign and his red coats.

This had the effect of making him stop instantly. The old sergeant with him looked around at the rifles levelled at his men and said in a broad Dorset Accent, “Now lads we’ze no argument with youz. Tis the youth he’s new ere.”
The to the Ensign he asked, “Zurr I baint argue with these, they’ze kill a Frenchy at without a thought zurr.”

I thought that this had gone far enough so in my best cut crystal voice I said, “Ensign - errr excuse me but I missed your name?”
I looked at him with raised eyebrows demanding a response. In a fluster he stammered, “Ensign Hugh Rothwell at your service madam.”
I looked at him smiled coldly and answered, “Thank you. Tell me are you of the Rothwell’s of Ayrmin hall?”
He gave me a surprised look managing to answer, “Yes miss that’s my parent’s – are you acquainted with them?”

“My Mama is, I am Lady Charlotte Grenford – or rather I was before I was married. Lady Charlotte Ffinch pleased to meet you Hugh”
The youth looked even more confused at this revelation obviously wondering what on earth I was doing with this bunch of ruffians.
Seizing the advantage I continued, “Gentlemen please lower your gun’s the Ensign is about to apologise to Lieutenant Ffinch. Are you not Hugh?” I finished sweetly.

Now the youth was totally in disarray stammering, “Yes M’lady but where is the Lieutenant?”
Grimly I told him, “You were just about to strike a senior officer – which I believe is a capital offence is it not?”
The poor boy turned white at this while all the soldiers simply grinned enjoying the young ensign’s embarrassment.
I turned to William and linking my arm into his I introduced them, “Hugh I would like you to meet my husband Captain William Ffinch.”

This was enough for poor Hugh he nearly fainted at the thought of what he had nearly done. I carried on, “And this is sergeant Gilroy. Come Anna let us get the babies ready.”

With that I turned like a ship of the line tacking and went to make sure we were ready for the trip back home.
I rounded the tent and Major Sharpe was stood there gently smiling he had obviously witnessed the whole affair.
He looked at me with something akin to admiration saying, “I have said this many times before but you are a force to be reckoned with Lady Charlotte!”
I smiled sweetly nodding my head is thanks and commenting, “And I have told you before my name is Charlotte!”
He snorted saying, “God do you always have to have the last word girl!”
Keeping the sweet smile I nodded and simply said, “Yes.” Making sure that I had the last word as I went to get my children (for this is how I thought of them).

I said my goodbyes to the horse that had carried me so far then picked up my meagre belongings packed in 2 of the French backpacks the wonderful troopers had liberated for me and Anna and of course my Baker carbine then I made my way back to where the Ensign was waiting.
When I arrived I handed the carbine to Sergeant Gilroy saying, “Thank you for the lessons Patrick I suppose I better hand this back to you.”

“God bless you miss Charlotte she’s yours now – you take good care o’her and she’ll take good care o’you.”
I smiled gratefully and kissed his bearded cheek then I slung the carbine proudly over my shoulder thinking that with the beautiful gown I was wearing and child in my arms I must make a strange sight.

The Red Coats put our luggage on the cart and I passed Annabelle to Anna then turned to Major Sharpe, Captain Miles and the troopers that had been like a family to me for the past 14 months.
I felt like crying as these men had looked after us and we in turn had tended them when they were wounded and comforted those that were dying as I looked through a sea of tears I managed to say, “I thank you all for looking after Anna and myself and of course my children.”
Then turning to the Major I stood on tiptoe Kissed him on his scarred cheek and managed to say, “Thank you so much Richard; Anna and I owe our lives to your men – please look after my William.”

This big confident man looked down at my tear-streaked face and softly said, “I will Charlotte now get off with you and say goodbye to your husband.”
Turning to William I threw myself into his arms and kissed him passionately sobbing, “Goodbye my love please take good care of yourself I love you so much.”

Then I fled to the waiting cart where Sergeant Gilroy stood ready to help me onto it.
Once I got settled he passed me a bundle saying, “The lad’s found these by the side of the road and thought.............”
I looked at all the troopers standing there grinning and thanked them all then to the cheers of the troopers the cart and escort set off. This was the second week in August 1813 with luck we would be home by Christmas.

“Ensign Rothwell” Major Sharpe called. “Yes Sir?” With a grim smile Major Sharpe said, “Take good care of those two ladies or else we will have to find you!”
The implied threat was there and poor Hugh realised it and blanched stammering, “O, o, of course sir” and with that we departed with what little dignity he still had remaining.

The first day went well we progressed about 6 miles the pace was slow as the wagon simply could not go fast.
“Hugh how long will it take to reach the coast?” The young ensign was riding alongside the wagon, “About a week possibly ten days Lady Charlotte.”
This was bad news as the wagon was an uncomfortable torture to our corseted bodies. I heard Anna sigh then I made my mind up.
“Anna tonight we change into our comfortable clothes as I don’t know about you but this is sheer hell!”
She looked really relieved at this answering, “Oh thank goodness Miss Charlotte I couldn’t stand a week of this.” Grimly I answered “Exactly.”

About 5 in the afternoon camp was made as soon as our tent was put up we disappeared inside to emerge a short while later in our Maja style clothing which had no corset and was far easier to move about in as the skirt was shorter and looser. (In England this would be classed as scandalous)
Poor Hugh looked aghast at us until I told him, “Hugh if we are to be on that cart for at least a week Anna and I need to be comfortable do not worry we’ll change back into ladies before we meet with the main army.”
Next problem was the food – putting it mildly it was inedible. I tasted it and spat it out, it was a mix of salted gristle and fat mixed with some form of crushed up biscuit.

Hugh said apologetically, “I am sorry Lady Charlotte but this is all we have!” “Hugh” I asked, “Ask your sergeant if any of his men used to be poachers we have a few hours of daylight left for us to get fresh meat.” “B. b. but” he started to argue I smiled sweetly saying, “Please do as I ask.” My tone leaving no room for argument I went and got my carbine.
Anna was about to try the food when I passed by her warning her, “I would not eat that if you want to live, now meet me at the Ensigns tent I need you to forage for herbs and wild vegetables.
I met her outside the tent and the sergeant stood with three men. Hugh looked somewhat uncomfortable telling me that his sergeant used to be a gamekeeper and these soldiers had been caught poaching.

I was all business like saying, “Sergeant you please come with me with one of your men and will the other two please go with Anna she will tell you what is needed.”
As we were about to set off I said, “Please could you take off your tunics as they are very noticeable.”
Then we set off I moved like Sergeant Gilroy had taught me and soon my companions fell into their old way of moving about in the countryside.
After an hour or so I began to feel that this was a fool’s errand when I saw the soldier beckoning to me. Carefully and quietly I moved across to where he was and he pointed out a small herd of wild goats about 200 paces away.

I knew that I had one chance with these animals if I missed they would be gone.
Settling down I licked my thumb and finger then cleaned my fore and back sight of dust, judging the wind direction and speed and assessing the distance.
I remembered everything Patrick Gilroy had taught me I could hear him tell me, “No fancy shot’s Miss aim at the chest or better the back of the fore leg through the chest then you’ll get a heart shot!”
It was like he was behind me whispering instructions as I steadied my breathing and squeezed the trigger offering a silent prayer.
The animal I was aiming at jerked as the rest disappeared then it fell after staggering a couple of paces – I had done it!

My two companions looked at me with something akin to awe the old sergeant gasping, “If I b’aint ha seen it – you a young slip of a maid.” I smiled my thanks as I reloaded and suggested, “If you would be so kind as the fetch our supper I would appreciate it.”
While they went and retrieved our kill I finished reloading then stood waiting for them to return all the time mulling over how much my life had changed since I set out looking for Anna.
I was now a married woman and mother – oh and it would seem rather a good shot with the Baker Rifle.

Historical Note: The daily rations issued to each soldier in the British Army during the Napoleonic Wars were as follows:
1½ lbs.’ Bread or Flour, or 1 lb. of Ship’s Biscuit
1 lb Beef, or ½ lb Pork
¼ pint Dried Peas
1 oz Cheese or Butter
1 oz Rice
5 pints Small Beer, or 1 pint Wine, or ½ pint Spirits

Those women who were lucky enough to be listed on a company’s ‘strength’ were permitted ½ of a daily ration and children allowed a ¼ but neither where allowed the alcohol.
The weight of the meat included that of bone. It was also a common practice for soldiers to pool their rations, known as 'messing' with the benefit that larger and better cuts of meat could be given to a mess to be shared amongst its members.
The main substitute for bread was the ship's biscuit; these were rock hard, often alive with maggots or mouldy. Charles Napier describes in a letter to his mother that,
‘We are on biscuits full of maggots, and though I’m not a bad soldier, hang me if I can relish maggots.’
The biscuits were so hard in fact that it was common for the need to break them with the heel of a shoe or hammer. Wellington even commented on the bad sate of the rations given to the army saying.
‘The soldiers seldom get enough to eat, and what they do get is delivered to them half mouldy.’

Another tale about the biscuits that's worth quoting is by Rifleman Costello, even though it is quite long it is worth quoting in full. As it show how daft some of the army regulations were.
‘Our Division were given linen bags, made exactly to fit across our knapsacks, with three day’s biscuit (3lbs) for each bag. The bags were to be kept well tied, and strapped on top of each man's knapsack.
The Brigadier expected us to be on short commons (rations) while on the Pyrenees and these were to be our last resource in case of scarcity. No man was to taste a morsel of biscuit unless given orders to that effect.
Consequently these bags were examined every morning by officers commanding the companies seeing them strapped snugly on the knapsacks they considered them to be all right.
However, our fellows were never at a loss for subterfuge, and they planned to evade the officer’s vigilance by eating all their biscuits except one whole one, which they kept at the top to be seen. In place of the others, they substituted chips of wood.
They did very well for some time, but one day, whilst on private parade Captain Johnston took it into his head to see his company’s biscuit shaken out. The first man on the right of his company was the unfortunate Tom Crawley. “Untie your bag Crawley,” said the Captain. Tom did as he was ordered, and showed the Captain a very good- looking biscuit a-top. “Shake the whole out. I want to see if they are getting mouldy.” “Faith, there is no fear of that,” said Crawley, looking at the Captain hard in the face then casting a woeful eye on his bag.
But the Captain was not to be baulked. Taking the bag by both ends, he emptied out its contents, which was no more and no less than a few dry chips. Poor Tom, as upright as a dart, stood scratching his head. His countenance would have made a saint laugh. “What have you done with your biscuit? Have you eaten it, sir?” Tom, motionless, made no answer. “Do you know it is against orders?”
“To be sure I do, sir” says Tom; “but, for God sake, do you take me for a South American jackass, that carries gold and eats straw?” This answer not only set the Captain, but the whole company, in roars of laughter, and on further inspection, he found that they, and indeed the regiment, had adopted the same plan. Through this our bags were taken away, and we were relieved from carrying wood chips.

One of the other main sources of food was from plundering the dead. Rifleman Harris whilst on picket duty one evening comments that;
‘As three Frenchmen were lying dead amongst the long grass upon the spot where I was standing. As I threw my rifle to my shoulder, and walked past them on my beat I observed they had been plundered, and the haversacks having been torn off, some of the contents were scatted about. Among other things, a small quantity of biscuit lay at my feet…The biscuits, however, which lay in my path, I thought a blessed windfall, and, stooping, I gathered them up, scraped off the blood with which they were sprinkled with my bayonet, and eat them ravenously.’
Even when the soldiers had received their rations there was the problem of getting enough firewood to cook them. Being as French army had mostly stripped the countryside on their way through and again on their way back whilst being pursued by the British.
Houses abandon by the local inhabitants was also use as firewood; soldiers would take up floors and even take down the roof for the timber beams, so as to cook their food. In the summer, sometime the best they could hope for was stubble or dry grass to burn.
Drunkenness was a big problem for the army as it was one of the main forms of recreation for the common soldier, and also the result of some of the worse conduct shown by the soldiers, such as the aftermath at the storming of Badajoz and Cuidad Rodrigo. Where all discipline was lost for a few days while a lot of soldiers indulged in a drunken orgy. Drink was not all doom and gloom as Sergeant Morris of 73rd recalls in his dairy,
‘Poor Jack was so fond of drink, that he was always getting into some scrape, and passed a great deal of his time in the guard-room, as a prisoner. His frolics however, when inebriated, were of so perfect good humored and harmless …When any of the men were to be deprived of their grog, it was generally spilt in the front of the company… to save, at least a portion of it. Turning his eyes in a direction behind the officer, he said “Here's the general coming, Sir”; the officer turned sharply round, to see where, and in the meantime Jack had both hands under the canteen, receiving as much as they would contain, and conveying it to his mouth. The officer could not help laughing at the ingenuity of the trick, and generously returned him the canteen, with a portion of the spirit remaining in it.’

Charlotte and Anna are slowly making their way to San Sebastian and hopefully home but the journey is slow and uncomfortable. When the finally arrive the place has been razed to the ground due to a prolonged siege and battle.

By the time we returned to camp Anna and the men had prepared a pot load of herbs edible roots and vegetables as they had heard my shot and assumed I had shot something.

A few hours later we all enjoyed a tasty stew of wild goat and vegetables the story about me shooting the deer had gone around the troopers and by the time Ensign Rothwell heard the story it had become somewhat exaggerated and I swear that the I took shot was 500 paces at a moving target!

So this is how we progressed towards the main body of the army once Mr Rothwell had relaxed he was perfect company and brought me up to date with all the news at home and any scandal that her knew about.
Luckily there were no stories about a lady absconding to Portugal to marry her beau.
Both our families knew about the wedding and like Mama grudgingly accepted us as man and wife. William’s family in fact had prepared a small country house for us to live in.

As things turned out it took us 10 days so it was at the end of August that we finally arrived some 3 miles outside San Sebastian and of course it was time to become Ladies again this meant the end to our freedom from stays.

The dreaded corsets were brought out and Anna laced me into mine and of course I reciprocated.
I selected a dress of fine light mauve linen bedecked with flowers gathered under my bust in the Empire Style with loose chiffon sleeves also there was a parasol to shade me from the sun that matched perfectly.
Anna’s dress was of a light green silk again in the Empire Style with bell sleeves the colour really suited her complexion.
In truth apart from our comfortable clothing was only had 2 gowns 4 pairs of fashionable shoes and a corset each! Luckily we had lots of underwear as silk packs very small.
As I reflected it was clear that we would certainly need to go shopping either when we reached the coast or arrived in England though how we were going to afford some clothes I had no idea.

Once we were dressed I remarked that it was a shame we had no jewellery to set our gowns off it was then I remembered the small but heavy bundle the troopers had ‘found’ by the roadside.
Searching through our meagre possessions didn’t take long and we were soon holding the small sack once used to carry the 3-day bread ration.
I untied the string holding it closed and tipped it onto the bed of the wagon “My Good Lord” I managed to gasp I looked at Anna who was speechless as in a pile between use were some of the most beautiful jewels I had ever seen. These clearly came from the baggage train of King Joseph Bonaparte’s army! We looked at the bounty and there were exactly 55 items of jewellery that meant that each man of the 2 platoons had contributed one item! Tears streamed down my face as I realised how much the men had sacrificed to give Anna and I such a present.
Just one of the diamond ear-rings would have given them an easy life after the war.
There was also a small pouch which when I opened it caused me to gasp again and more tears flowed as this contained 50 gold 20 franc Napoleon coins which were worth a small fortune. I opened the note and read it’s contents aloud.

‘Dear Charlotte this is a small token from Major Sharpe, Captain Miles and Myself as you will need to do some shopping when you reach civilisation. The other things in this sack are from the troopers so it’s best not to ask where they came from.
Your loving Husband
William’

I looked at Anna after I had read the note she was staring at the pile of jewellery and gold coins finally in a small voice she whispered. “Miss Charlotte what are we going to do?”
“Well Anna we are going to share this out as the men would have expected us to do.” I answered matter of factly.
At this she became quite agitated. “No, no Miss please no” she gasped. “Whatever is the matter Anna – half of this was meant for you.”
This didn’t help as she became more agitated going into a near panic. “Please Miss you keep them all they aren’t for the likes of me!”

Nothing I could say would make her change her mind and I only succeeded in getting her more upset in the end I selected a pair of small emerald earrings and a matching necklace with an small emerald as the centre piece which would set off her dress and suggested that she wear them
She looked at them for a moment then finally she allowed me to fix them in her ears and put the necklace around her neck.
When I called the emeralds small it was all a matter of scale as the one’s in the earrings were the size of my little finger nail while the one in the necklace was about the size of a musket ball (about ½”)

For myself I chose a pair of drop diamond earrings with a diamond necklace and matching bracelet.
I gathered up the rest and returned them to the sack, the coins I put in a small velvet pouch and secreted this under my dress out of sight.
We were now ready to return to civilization opening the curtains at the back of the wagon de descended and announced to Ensign Rothwell that we were ready to proceed into San Sebastian town itself and our ship to England.

Now I had another small problem, that of getting Anna to accept this bounty however a germ of a plan started to grow in my mind.
The more I considered this idea the more I liked it, what I would do is use a small part Anna’s share of the jewels to buy her a full wardrobe for her new role and a house when she married her sailor! At least I hoped she would marry him and there should be enough for a pension for the two of them. I was absolutely determined that she would somehow receive her share.

We climbed onto the front seat of the wagon and as it lurched off I heard Anna give a soft moan as I assume her stays were digging into her somewhere as were mine but I had been taught all my life that a Lady never complains whereas Anna had not been brought up to this.

I imagined that San Sebastian would be a fine town with comfortable accommodation and some shops where we could purchase what we needed what a shock I got as we neared the town.
First the plume of smoke was very evident the tents of the army were around the town and it had just fallen after being besieged for over 2 months.
We trundled into the camp and came to a halt outside what I assumed was the headquarters tent.
People were scurrying around it was a hive of activity Ensign Rothwell went to gain entry only to be turned back.
Looking dejected he returned to the wagon and told us that the town had fallen but the soldiers enraged at the losses were on a drunken rampage inside the city and in effect all control had been lost.

Finally after an hour or so the Ensign and myself were bidden to enter the HQ (as it was referred to) once again I met with Wellington and once again he was incandescent with rage though this time I was not the target of this anger.
Wellington glared at me fixing me with his piercing eyes I smiled inwardly as with the great beak of his nose he reminded me of a giant eagle, but I kept my smile in my mind as I didn’t think he would appreciate my observation.

“So Lady Charlotte we meet again.” He addressed me then turned and issued more orders that sent officers scattering to the 4 winds. Turning back to me his features softened slightly as what I took for a smile plied his lips. “Reports from the 95th speak highly of you.” I nodded my appreciation as he carried on. “As you will no doubt have heard we have just taken San Sebastian and the rabble are busy raping and looting DAMN THEIR HIDES. Shortly we will have regained control but I would like you to assist with the wounded.” Again I nodded showing my understanding.
“ENSIGN.” He bellowed Mr Rothwell swallowed and stepped forward. ”Sir” Wellington grunted and continued. “Speak to the adjutant, he will allot accommodation for the ladies YOU young man are charged with their safety they will report to the surgeon general to assist with the wounded UNDERSTAND!”

With that we were dismissed. I reflected the way Wellington spoke; the way he barked his orders and at times bellowed to emphasise points brooked no argument.
Next we went to a harassed looking man who allocated us three tents at the very edge of the camp. The largest for Anna, the children and myself; a small tent for the Ensign and a canvass shelter for his men who were to guard us night and day.

It was a short distance to our ‘lodgings’ and soon we were settled in first we looked after the children then Anna and I changed out of our finery into our travel stained Maja dresses and went to visit the Surgeon General complete with children.
As we approached the ‘hospital’ tent I as appalled at the horrific conditions both in and around them.
Inside the tent was crammed with broken bodies stank of sweat, vomit and blood there were operations going on all around the groans, screams and moans of these poor men assaulted the senses.
I looked at Anna to see she was as shocked as I.

Outside the tents were in a way even worse than the inside strewn around there were pieces of men! Whole limbs, parts of limbs, hands feet and the flies they were a dark cloud when disturbed when they were at rest they made the limbs look like they shimmered. The air was heavy with the reek of rotting flesh blood and bodily fluids – all in all it was a scene from the depths of hell.

Poor Ensign Rothwell looked a little green around the gills this must have been his first experience of a field hospital I felt sorry for him as if his luck didn’t hold he too could end up in a charnel house like this.

The Surgeon was a tired looking man of indeterminate age his hands and arms were covered with blood he was outside one of the tents having a pipe. When we approached and told him our story he gave a weary smile saying, “Ladies I thank you for your offer of assistance; but what about your children? This is no place for children so young as there is so much disease and death.” He took a puff of his pipe and continued. ”And it’s no place for their mother for the same reason so I must decline your offer.”

I protested that there must be something we could do to help him he looked steadily at us weighing us up finally he said. “You will wash the used bandages this will release two orderly’s.” This is how we ended up washing used bandages for 12 hours a day.
It was not a bad task though it was disgusting. Three huge cauldrons one for boiling the rags they called bandages. The second to wash them in Lye and the third to rinse them we hung them on trees to dry.
For a week this was our constant work. The place where this was carried out was at the edge of the camp close to the impromptu cemetery.
In the mornings there was always a huge pile of soiled rags to start the day; during the day new loads of rags arrived at regular intervals and clean dry ones returned to the hospital.
One of the soldiers that guarded us made 2 slings so Annabel and George could hang from the branches gurgling away totally oblivious to their disgusting surroundings while we toiled.

Once the piles of bandages stopped arriving we were relieved of our duty by the surgeon general as there were enough orderlies now the rush of wounded had ceased.

The city of San Sebastian was now calm the Anglo-Portuguese soldiers had just about razed it to the ground the French Garrison had withdrawn to the Citadel but after sustained bombardment they had surrendered early September and were allowed to march out with full military honours.

Shortly after this we were told that our transport home was leaving the Mediterranean where it had been on patrol for 2 years. It was picking up supplies for the army at Gibraltar and should arrive in about two months time. The plan was that it would drop off the supplies they had picked up in Gibraltar and pick the four of us up.

This time was really idyllic we were close to the coast away in the far distance the Pyrenees could be seen which was the French border was. Anna and I spent our time playing with George and Annabelle sometimes on the beach sometimes around our tent
Anna spent her time reading and practicing her numbers, which she was quite accomplished she was progressing well with her learning it amazed me how quickly she had picked up reading and writing as for her numbers she was a bit slow and still used her fingers to help!

We wrote letters and received some. William was in the mountains harrying the French lines of supply while Anna’s sailor was patrolling in the Atlantic doing a similar job to my William harrying the French supply lines.

In the middle of September William wrote me a letter and told me he had been promoted to full Captain! (Previously he had been an acting captain) They had taken part in the battle of San Marcial where his company had held off a French division they inflicted 231 casualties on the French but 14 of his company were killed including his superior a Captain Cadoux hence Williams promotion.

To all it became apparent that the war was slowly drawing to a close.
Meanwhile after the sacking of San Sebastian there was the usual floggings and punishments for the worst offenders though no executions as high command needed all the men they could get. Though after 300 to 500 lashes from the ‘cat’ a mans back was like a slab of raw meat from shoulder to buttocks – he was in no state to fight.

Historical Note: San Sebastian these days is a sprawling city surrounding the beautiful La Concha Bay. In 1813 it was very much smaller a provincial town in the Basque region.
The original walled city stood on the banks of the River Urumea that created wetlands and shifting marshes.
Parte Vieja (Old Town) was rebuilt in the 19th Century after the 1813 destruction by Anglo-Portuguese.
With 18,000 men, Wellington captured the French-garrisoned city of San Sebastián under Brigadier-General Louis Emmanuel Rey after two sieges that lasted from 7 July to 25 July (In the meantime Wellington departed with sufficient forces to deal with Marshal Soult's counter-offensive, he left General Graham in command of sufficient forces to prevent sorties from the city and any relief getting in); and from 22 August to 31 August 1813.
The British incurred heavy losses during assaults. The city in turn was sacked and burnt to the ground by the Anglo-Portuguese: Meanwhile, the French garrison retreated into the Citadel, which after a heavy bombardment their governor surrendered on 8 September, with the garrison marching out the next day with full military honours.

Military discipline was maintained through the laws and practices established by royal and parliamentary authorities. The Rules and Articles for the Better Government of all His Majesty’s Forces, better known as the Articles of War formed the basis of military law and were first promulgated in 1663.

To modern eyes the punishments seem extremely severe. As flogging was mentioned in the chapter I will deal with this form of punishment.
Flogging – this was administered by the infamous ‘Cat O Nine Tails’ commonly called ‘The Cat’ this was a whip used to flog soldiers (and sailors).
The length of the wooden stick was 43cm (1' 5"), its tails 53cm (1' 9"), and it weighed 141,75 g. (5 ounces)
The maximum number of lashes was 1200! In the Iberian Campaign this punishment was carried out 9 times while another 50 soldiers received 1000 lashes the average number of strokes depends on the crime something minor 50 lashes for something like looting 200 to 500 lashes would be given. The battalion’s drummers usually dispensed the punishment and the whole battalion was present to watch – this was seen as a form of deterrent.
I will leave it to your imagination what the back of the recipient was like after this amount of punishment. Yet this was thought to be better than either hanging or firing squad.
A final thought after receiving punishment the soldier was expected to be back on duty within a day or so unless they had received over 500 lashes then they were allowed to recover for a short time depending upon the Provost of the regiment.

Charlotte and her companion Anna are still waiting in San Sebastian for their ship home. Luckily the Army are waiting for supplies so while the majority of the army move to harry the French in the Pyrenees a contingent remain to receive the supplies and move them to the main body.

Early October the near by town of Fuenterrabia was put under siege by the army after crossing the river Bidassoa. Wellington’s forces managed to surprise the French garrison as they thought the river was too wide and treacherous to cross we could hear the cannon back in San Sebastian.
The fighting around Fuenterrabia was brief but intense with the French withdrawing and Wellington rolling up their line as they retreated towards France.
The hospital here at San Sebastian again received patients and the two of us resumed our bandage-washing task.

We had been here for 2 months and while it was pleasant we were getting restless.
My thoughts turned to my first meeting with Mama and the outcome I pretended to be nonchalant about it but inside I was really worried.
No matter which way I looked at it my mothers response to my children was to me of paramount importance. Without really thinking I had backed Mama into a corner as we had told Williams family about the children the more I considered this the more I worried and wished we could simply remain in Portugal - and that was just the start she still has to find out about Anna!
Whichever way you looked at it my first few days home were going to be interesting to say the least.

It was mid October that a fast Brig entered the bay with dispatches for the army it’s arrival caused a bit of a stir and I thought that this may be our transport home - but the ship left after a day or so bound for Gibraltar with dispatches and mail for the Mediterranean Fleet thence into the Atlantic to find the Atlantic Fleet.

Later that day dear Hugh Rothwell (yes he is still with us) came to visit and handed me a letter.
My heart dropped like a stone I recognised the handwriting Mama surely my letter could not have reached her already?

It was with some trepidation I broke the seal and read the contents. The words written in brackets are my reaction

My dearest Charlotte (a good start)
It would seem that the age of miracles is with us still (Ooooops) to say I was surprised when I read your your recent letter would be an understatement I am very interested to hear your story before I get too used to being a grandmother (was that good or bad)!

Having children and being a mother may curb you impetuous nature but I do not hold out much hope on that but we will see. I assume that your ‘companion’ is helping you with the children. (Oh no she knows!)

The rest of the letter was about the estate how Edward was doing in his work for the government and general information about Mama and William’s family then to end with came another surprise.

I have to sadly inform you that Miss Martha has passed away. This was through old age and her catching a slight chill all of which conspired to take her from us.
Also your ‘companion’ Anna you are to inform her that her parents died this summer they contracted smallpox and did not recover please tell her we gave them a Christian burial.

We will speak more when you arrive back in England on both subjects. I will be spending Christmas at home but will be going to London in February. I suggest we talk before we visit Lord and Lady Ffinch

Mama

I sat there stunned a tear trickled down my cheek as I remembered Miss Martha and all she had done for me her strict teaching had moulded me into the young lady I now was.
All told Mama’s letter was couched in generalities (like mine to her) that had many meanings I think I understood what she was saying.

Now to go and tell Anna about her parents the poor girl she had no brothers or sisters so was alone in the world apart from the children and myself of course not forgetting her sailor John Newsome.
Anna was playing with the children when I told her the news she went very quiet then in a small voice said. “I’m all by myself now Miss Charlotte. T’only you and these kiddies now.” A tear slid down her cheek then she asked. “What will happen to me if Her Ladyship send’s me away?”
“That will not happen Anna” I said more confidently than I felt. “That simply will not happen.”

“Miss Charlotte” she whispered. “Her Ladyship could send me away – away from you and your children.”
I reached for her and hugged her close as she gave way to the grief that was hiding just under the surface.
How long we held onto each other I know not when a discreet “Ahem” brought us back into the present time it was Ensign Rothwell.
“Your Ladyship” he began “I have been told to inform you that your transport home will be here come morning, if you and the children could be ready.”
I looked at Anna and soberly said. “Well Anna I think we are both about to know my mother’s feelings – so let us pack so we are ready for the morning.”

We decided what we would wear for the morning remembering the scary ride up onto the last ship. We had spent a piece of our time while we were waiting in sewing small pouches on the inside of out dresses and skirts so where ever we were our cache of gold and jewels were with us – and safe! So these were filled accordingly and we made sure that they were tied tight to stop us loosing anything.

We then made ready my children who were very lively and energetic crawling in fact tottering about the place somewhat unsteadily and saying the odd “mama” or at least that’s what I thought they had said along with sundry other words. Our main item for the children was the small goat we had to provide them with milk.
When I asked Ensign Rothwell about this he had one of the soldiers make a small cage for it and also supplied us with enough fodder for a month - hopefully enough for our journey.
As well as goat’s milk we fed Annabel and Edmond on sauce from stews and soups, when we could get it soft bread soaked in milk, soup or gravy and that was about it.
We tried soaking the hard army biscuit first whole in boiling water which was an abject failure they were still solid after 4 days soaking but at least the boiling water got rid of the weevil’s!
Then we tried crushing it using stones, this was a bit better but we couldn’t get a soft smooth paste.
As neither Anna nor myself had any experience in children it was a matter of learning as we went along and to date the children seemed to thrive on this strange diet.

We tidied up our tent then sat there waiting the summons to board our transport to pass the time we watched the ship as it neared the bay. “Miss Charlotte” Anna said with a tinge of awe. “It looks bigger than the last ship”.
Her comment mirrored what I was thinking this ship looked huge. I later found out it was what the navy call a ‘First Rate Ship of the Line’ and it was called the Ville de Paris which has a distinct French sound but this boat was built in Chatham some 18 years previous.
“Miss Charlotte” Anna gasped with some panic in her voice. “Will we have to go on that chair thing again?”
Slowly I nodded my head though I was still unsure, “I think so Anna we certainly cannot climb in these dresses!”

As we watched it came to about a mile from us them swung into the wind even from this distance we could hear the sales crack and I assume that it dropped it’s anchor as there was a big splash from the front of the ship and slowly it swung around bow pointing to the north which was where the breeze was coming from. My Good God even from where we were sat it was huge!

I sat there and wondered what it would be like being back in England. My life would be so very different having to comply with the conventions of the day following the strict etiquette, dress code having to watch what I said and how I said things all of this was going to take so much getting used to again.
As I considered these things my thoughts turned to Anna had I been too impetuous?
As soon as the thought entered my head I dismissed it I had done exactly the right thing by Anna and it was up to me to prove this to my mother – and prove it I would!

We sat playing with the children fully packed and ready for going on board our transport it was getting dark when Ensign Rothwell approached and told us that we would be boarding tomorrow morning so we had supper then slept.
The next day was all hustle and bustle as a party of marines came to our makeshift home to accompany us to the ship.
They were lead by an officer who looked with interest at both our baggage and ourselves. His eyes were agog when he spotted my Baker Carbine he spluttered. “How on earth did you get hold of this? Only the cavalry are armed with these.”

I gave him my best smile and stretching the truth a little sweetly answered. “When we were fighting the French in the mountains I found the infantry model somewhat too long so I was given this and I find it a lot better.”
“I suppose you think you can use it!” He sneered. Before I could answer Ensign Rothwell butted in. “Oh yes her Ladyship can us it – in fact a small wager she can outshoot any or all of your men!”
I shot him a look of pure annoyance, which he caught full on and smiled apologetically. This young naval officer was obviously getting to him as well and I had noticed his emphasis on Her Ladyship to give the young officer a hint as to my status. However the last thing I needed was a stupid contest but this had galvanised the Redcoats and the Marines alike and the obnoxious marine officer he was obviously highly competitive and a chauvinist as he clearly thought a slip of a woman was no match for his vaunted marines.

Already bets were being made with the Redcoats backing me while the marines gleefully took the bets expecting to win.
What annoyed me was that no one, not one person had asked for my thoughts!
“GENTLEMEN!” I loudly announced in my best cut crystal voice emphasising my status as a Lady. This was a tactic I used infrequently but I found that it does focus the mind of those I am addressing.

This stopped them in their tracks as all turned and looked at me. I smiled sweetly and continued in a more reasonable tone. “Thank you but if you think that I am shooting at targets dressed as I am then all of you are more stupid that I thought!

“Now shall we get down to business and proceed with what you Gentlemen have been tasked with namely taking my children and I to my transport home. Come Anna let us leave these silly men to their silly games.” And with that I turned and made my way to our tent to make ready the children. You could have heard a pin drop even on the sandy beach we were stood on as I proceeded through them.

After this interlude both officers came in and offered apologies and arranged for our baggage to be taken to the cutter Anna and myself followed each bearing a child while Ensign Rothwell and his red coats followed with our small goat and it’s fodder.
The obnoxious marine officer was about to protest about the goat when I stopped him. “Mr ?????? My apologies I didn’t catch your name. (And in truth I wasn’t really interested.) However the goat goes with us as it’s the only source of milk for my children and it has it’s own food.” Once again this was said in my most upper class accent to emphasise there was to be no argument – and once again it worked.

We were handed onto the cutter only getting the hems of our dresses wet. I said farewell to Mr Rothwell and thanked him for his kindness and help I promised to visit his parents when I reached home to tell them he was well and missed them.

Then we pulled from shore and headed out to what looked to me like a wall of wood the ship was HUGE and as we neared it grew in size at least to Anna and myself. From the waterline the body of the ship curved outwards narrowing as it neared the top deck. The back of the ship was built out overhanging the hull and had actual windows the vessel was grandly impressive.

The children well they were totally unaware of events Annabel was looking around seeming to take in what was happening around her while Edmond was soundly asleep. As for Anna she had a look of apprehension on her face and I must admit I was a bit afraid of the height we would have to travel in the chair.
As we rounded the back of the ship I looked into the masts and yes there was something that looked like the much dreaded chair dangling from the yard arm it looked absolutely tiny from my perspective.

Still looking skywards at the chair that was descending towards us I told Anna. “I will go first with Annabel and you will follow with Edmond.”
“Yes Miss Charlotte” she weakly responded then as we spoke the chair was grabbed by one of the sailors and I was helped into it.
The young Midshipman in charge of the boat looked and asked. “Ready your Ladyship?” I nodded and he waved at the ship and the next thing I knew I was some 20 feet above the bouncing cutter clinging on to Annabel and the chair for dear life.
I landed on the deck of this leviathan of a ship as light as a feather trembling slightly looking towards the stern I saw that I was being observed by a number of men resplendent in their uniforms laden down with gold braid.
I remembered that my brother Edward had saluted when we had landed on the deck of the Hydra and thought that I had better do something to acknowledge this group of officers so I turned and curtsied towards them. Then to my amazement as a unit of one they saluted me. By total accident I had done the right thing!
By then Anna and Edmond was dangling above me Anna, like me clinging on for dear life while Edmond was still sound asleep.

Once Anna had landed and stood next to me an officer approached and saluted saying. “Lady Grenford please follow me I will show you to your accommodation.”
Looking curiously around Anna and I followed. Compared to the ‘Hydra’ this ship was huge. I later found out that the Ville de Paris was over twice the size of the Hydra where the Hydra carried 44 guns the Ville de Paris carried an impressive 110 guns.
When we arrived at the cabin allocated to us it was very apparent that the accommodation was also much lager there were 3 quite comfortable beds for us a small table and 4 chairs.
I was amazed but realised that carrying 2 ladies someone had been evicted from this cabin. In truth, 4 junior officers who had moved into the midshipman berth shared the cabin and the junior midshipmen had been moved into the gunroom.

I thanked the officer and asked him to convey my apologies to whoever had been evicted. He smiled answering “With pleasure m’lady but for two such beautiful ladies it is no inconvenience and we hope that you will join us one evening for a meal.”
I promised that we would then as he left we settled in making one of the beds for the children so that they were comfortable.

After we had settled in there was a knock on the door and another officer – this time more senior (judging by the amount of gold braid) entered and invited me to dinner with the Rear Admiral and his staff this very evening after we had set sail also if we so desired we could come onto the quarter deck to observe the ship setting sail which we did making sure that the children were well wrapped up as there was a cool breeze.

Watching the ship making ready was really interesting. As well as the main anchor there were two others which was for swinging the ship in case of attack this was explained to Anna and I by a very earnest young midshipman who’s voice had not yet broken.
Once these kedge anchors were up many men took their place around the main capstan and started to wind up the huge rope to the main anchor – this rope was about the size of a man’s thigh.
When this became taunt some sails were loosed and with an almighty crack, which scared the very life out of me, filled with the wind and slowly moved the ship towards where the anchor was buried in the seabed.
The sight and sounds of this were quite amazing to me once again I reflected that this could have been my life had I remained a male now it was oh so different and to my mind different in a better way I simply could not imagine wearing the stiff rough clothing men wore! No I much preferred the silks and satins we women wear – even if it means the restriction of the corset.
The creaking of the masts and sails as they took the wind the rhythmic clank of the capstan pawls as they engaged combined with the seamen singing a shanty and cries of the officers and sailors all this was with a backdrop of the sun setting over the sea – wonderful I knew that I must commit this scene to my pad and try and paint it later.

Once the anchor was secured more sails were loosed and we slowly started moving with purpose away from the coast and out to the natural environment of this ship the open sea to home to my family, Williams family and whatever was waiting for me and of course not forgetting Anna as it was I that put her in such an awkward position - but I was certain that Mama would agree with me when she see’s the marked change in her.

Historical Note: In Napoleonic times the Royal Navy had many different types of vessels – as do modern navies.

The top of the tree so to speak was the First Rates these were classified by the number of guns and the number of decks that carried these guns so the Ville de Paris was a 110 gun 3 deck First Rate Ship of the Line.
Generally a first rate had over 100 guns.
Second Rate ships of followed these between 80 to 100 guns.
Then came Third Rate ships carrying over 50 up to 80 guns and below this Forth Rate carrying up to 50 guns.

Below these there were Frigates the official Admiralty criteria for defining a frigate required a minimum battery of 28 carriage-mounted guns, including such guns that were mounted on the quarterdeck and forecastle.
The smaller Sixth Rates, of frigate-type construction, but carrying between 20 and 26 guns, were categorised by the Admiralty as "post ships", but were often described by seagoing officers as "frigates" even though this was not officially recognised.
The post ships, generally of 20 or 24 guns, were in practice the continuation of the earlier Sixth Rates.
The Napoleonic War era post ships were later re-armed with (many being completed with) 32-pounder carronades instead of 9-pounder guns; after 1817 most of the survivors (except the Conway class) were re-classified as sloops.
These were general greyhound of the sea well armed, fast and highly manoeuvrable.
Next came gun brigs and gunboats and finally sloops these were very fast but they had lighter armaments they relied on speed and manoeuvrability to keep out of trouble.
Also there were bomb vessels these were small with huge timbers designed to take the recoil of what in effect was one or two mortar’s these were for pounding enemy positions and the shells could be of the exploding variety where a fuse was lit before firing. In these times they were ship rigged but very un-manoeuvrable.

One other type of ship is worth a mention this is the infamous Fire Ship which would cause chaos on panic when unleashed of a fleet at anchor imagine seeing three or four of these fire ships approaching your fleet which consisted of wooden vessels, canvas sails, tar coated ropes and stays and carrying gunpowder housed in rudimentary magazines.
What fire ships actually did was make the safely anchored fleet hurriedly weigh anchor and leave safety sailing into an enemy fleet whose guns were fully loaded often with double shot usually consisting of a cannon ball and bar or chain shot. Thus for this reason fire ships were very effective and hated by those on the receiving end.

As the Ville de Paris gathered speed she gently heeled over and started an easy up and down motion. The sails were secured and we started heading homeward.
I shook myself out of my reverie and told Anna that I would go back to our cabin but if she wanted she could remain on deck.

With a smile she answered. “No Miss it’s cool up here I will go and milk the goat and feed the children then help you get ready for tonight.”
“Oh” I gasped. “I had forgotten all about that but with our limited wardrobe I knew what I will wear!”

The dress I had in mind was of course part of my ‘liberated’ clothing taken from the Emperor’s baggage train so very long ago. This beautiful dress made of a cream cotton fabric with lilac flower pattern.
The underskirt is a dark lilac shantung fabric as is the front bodice of the dress with silver delicate cross-laced pattern. The bodice is boned in the front and back and laces up at the back (no need for a corset) this makes it very comfortable to wear.
It also had a full-layered petticoat that was a swine to pack but we managed it. Unfortunately I had to discard the matching feathers for my hair, as they simply would not have survived the rigors of being with the 95th. The sleeves of my dress were very delicate and ¾ length with lace inside the cuff.

Arriving at our cabin the marine who guarded us snapped smartly to attention that startled me. I smiled my thanks and told him. “You needn’t do this every time we enter or leave.
Gruffly he responded. “Thank you M’Lady but the young officer would have me guts fur garters if he saw me not saluting you!”
Taken aback I asked. “Is that the man sent to bring me to the ship?” “Yes Miss” he answered. I sighed and commented. “He does not seem like a very nice person.”
He diplomatically refrained from answering but his slight smile told me everything.

While Anna went to milk our goat I played with Annabel and Edmond who were very lively and into everything now walking they were a handful and as far as talking they could say Mama (which really thrilled me) also they could say other words quite well but had like all children their own language which only Anna and I could decipher. Anna arrived back quite disgusted that the goats had already been milked.
As I got ready there came a knock at the door which Anna answered it was some food for her and the children which I must admit did smell quite nice it was a stew for some sort with peas (dried peas made up a large part of the rations) white bread and coddled eggs with goats milk (the reason the goats had been milked) and a small flagon of wine.

I finished getting ready while Anna fed the children then another knock sounded which I answered this time it was an officer to escort me to the ‘Great Cabin’ as it was called for obvious reasons – it was err well big.
This was where the Admiral or commanding officer of the ship lived and worked it was the full width of the ship right at the back and had glass windows that overlooked the sea. There was a separate bedroom, privy, pantry, office and main cabin, which was where we were eating.
I was introduced to the assembled officers and as it happened the Admiral had been a midshipmen with my own father and the Captain had served under my father and knew my brother.
The evening was very convivial and the food was excellent mainly because the ship has provisioned in Gibraltar hence there was still many live animals on board.

We had the usual multi course meal starting with Turtle Soup, Fried Whitebait and Brill with a shrimp sauce.
Then came Chicken, Pork cutlets, Haunch of Mutton, Boiled Turkey, Boiled Tongue served with the ubiquitous peas, turnips and potatoes.
Finally there was a selection of cheese with white bread. There was a selection of wines to match the food and hot chocolate. The men had brandy to finish while I had wine all in all it was a really pleasant evening and to be truthful eased me slowly into the world of society which I had been absent for so long.
Another thing I noticed was that it had been nearly 2 years since I had seen let alone eaten this amount of food that despite pecking at my meal like a bird I was still uncomfortably full.

The trip home was exceedingly slow as the winds remained stubbornly from the northerly direction but we and the children kept ourselves amused and Edmond and Annabel were loved by all the crew their speech was improving as they soaked up words which at times was a touch disconcerting as some of the words they heard was to put it mildly not what you could use in front of a vicar! Also as they grew they were evolving their own personalities totally different but so endearing.
Life on the Ville de Paris was strictly regulated with sail drill’s, man overboard drills and gun drills.
The first time all the guns were run out together startled us, as the noise was horrendous. Imagine 110 iron guns weighing many tons on small wooden wheels with iron rims being hauled across wooden decks!
It sounded like the worst thunder you could imagine and when they were fired the ship was wreathed in white smoke that smelt of burnt powder and made seeing impossible; ears rang from the noise and the children hid cowering into my and Anna’s skirts.

I resolved to make something to deaden the horrendous noise from the guns just in case they were ever used in anger. One of the gun captains showed me one of the ways used to deaden the noise this was using wax or tallow from a candle and while it was still soft mould it so it fits the ear and keep it in place with a bandana – simple but effective.
But in truth it was quite difficult to do painlessly as the trick was to put some oil into your ear (to stop the wax sticking) then when you think the wax is still hot enough to mould but cool enough not to burn mould it to your ear! Now this was easy with us adults but was difficult with the delicate skin of the children so we used tallow as this is softer than candle wax. But it worked and the noise was much reduced.

After ten days we had only got as far as Ushant we were about 30 miles to the west still waiting for the wind to change to allow us a fair run into Plymouth.
Anna and I were on deck with the children who as they were walking were engrossed using the guns to get around the decks when suddenly the sails snapped and the Ville de Paris heeled over there was much shouting of orders as more sail was made soon we were heading west with the wind behind us.

We were approached by the first lieutenant who informed us. “Lady Grenford, we have sighted a sail and we are pursuing it you may remain on deck for the time being but when we beat to quarters you will be taken below decks to safety.”
I nodded to indicate that I understood then asked. “If you require us to help the surgeon both Anna and I have assisted the Army surgeons during battles and we are used to the work.”
He went away and soon came back with the ships surgeon who questioned us then agreed that we could help as it would free up his orderlies to tend to other tasks. He told us that he had some aprons to protect our dresses which was good as we had a limited wardrobe also it was kind of him the think of us. But to further safeguard our limited wardrobe we changed into our trusty Maja skirts and blouses, which were already work stained.

The ship was now heading out into the Atlantic with a spanking breeze pushing her along at what seemed to me a great speed. More sails were shaken out and as these filled it pushed this monster of a ship along.
The log was cast and I heard the midshipman counting the knots as they ran out say 10. The next time the log was cast he shouted 14 it did cross my mind that all this time we were going in the opposite direction to England and would have to claw these miles back.

Try as I might I couldn’t see what we were pursuing but the man stationed high up in the rigging kept shouting the position of our quarry.
The pursuit lasted most of the day and by mid afternoon the ship we were pursuing could be seen from the main deck.

The young midshipman assigned to take us to safety earnestly assured us that it was indeed a French ship of the line but added that he didn’t think that we would catch it before night fall when we would probably loose it in the darkness.

And he was proved correct come nightfall we lost sight of our quarry. Meanwhile on the quarterdeck discussions were being held as to what to do. The ship was totally dark no lamps were allowed and certainly no candles so we went to our cabin to try and sleep.
The galley fires luckily had not been extinguished but come nightfall they were in case a spark from the stoves gave our position away so we had a meal that while it was not hot was warm.

The children slept soundly Anna and I did manage a few hours sleep but we both were nervous about the next day.
The noise of the crew getting drummed to quarters woke us I guessed it was close to dawn though I wasn’t sure our door was hammered on and we had to follow the marine down to the Orlop deck where the surgeon was.
We had remained fully dressed, as it seemed to me silly to undress for bed in case just such an event happened.

After we donned our aprons and put our rudimentary ear protection in we waited. The hospital was situated on the Orlop deck which was below the waterline down in the bowels of the ship it was dimly illuminated by candles enclosed in a horn lanterns the surgeon laid out the tools of his trade consisting mainly of things to amputate limbs though there was a selection of very sharp knife’s which he explained were to remove splinters. There were heaps of bandages buckets of vinegar and a selection of different sized pieces of thick leather for the poor souls being operated on the bite down on in stead of biting their tongue off. There was also warm tar to dip the amputated end of the limb into this sealed the wound also disinfected it! Apparently the tar dropped off in time.

By the movement of the ship we could feel that it was manoeuvring to get into position to attack the enemy.
Then the bosun’s pipes sounded and there came the ear shattering sound of the guns being run out the surgeon kept up a running commentary as to what was happening for the first broad side all the guns were double shotted which meant that as well as a cannon ball they also had chain or bar shot or a second ball this was to do the maximum damage to the recipient.
He also added that the guns were double charged to send this amount of metal the distance required so the noise of the first broadside would be ‘really loud’ to quote him directly.
He was the master of understatement because when the first broadside was loosed I thought the ship would shake itself to pieces as 55 guns fired the ship heeled over with the power and I swear it jumped up from the sea - and the noise was unlike anything I have ever experienced.

My children screamed at this Anna ran over to them to reassure them. My head was ringing and I swear my balance had been affected; the surgeon smiled sympathetically and leaning close shouted in my ear. “Let your nanny take care of the children – are you still up to helping me.” I nodded not trusting myself to speak when another broadside was loosed.
Again he leant close to me and shouted. “Get used to it Lady Charlotte from now on this will be a regular occurrence!”

And it was once started the ship could deliver one of these punishing broadsides every 2 minutes.
Then the casualties started trickling in slowly at first but they increasing as we began to take hits from the French ship.
I took the place of what in the navy is called a Loblolly boy freeing one of these youths to carry the wounded.
You may well ask what were my duties? Basically anything the surgeon told me to do this ranged from holding onto a limb about to be amputated, painting tar over the stump to cauterise it and seal it, bandaging wounds and even removing the shallow splinters from the victims!

I thought my time looking after the redcoats would have prepared me – and in a way it did. But the wounds suffered on board a ship were quite different. Where one of the enemy’s rounds went through a gun port the result was the same as a rank of soldiers hit by a cannon ball a bloody mess of tangled limbs.
But the splinters! My god these were horrific jagged pieces of oak some of them 18” or more long these caused terrible wounds.
I was shown how to remove the shallow ones then stitch the unfortunate sailor’s resulting wound closed while the surgeon removed the deep splinters. Like an arrowhead they couldn’t come out the way they went in due to the barbs so they had to be cut out if possible – if they were too deep the poor soul was put to one side to either die or be operated on later then probably die!

Then as quickly as it had begun the broadsides stopped and cheering could be heard but the work continued for a while - this surgeon was good as it took him just under 2 minutes to remove a limb!

Once where were no more wounded the ‘Butchers Bill’ was entered into the logbook and the surgeon and his more experienced aids checked the wounded. I went to Anna and the children to see if they were well only to find the children sound asleep????? How on earth did they do that with all the noise? Meanwhile Anna was nearby busily bandaging some wounded.

The action had lasted 35 minutes and we had suffered 8 killed when a round smashed into a lower deck gun killing all the crew of it and 45 wounded mainly splinters with some 15 amputations also! This was what was grimly called ‘The Butchers Bill’
The surgeon checked all the wounds and approaching me commented. “Your lessons in needlework have not been wasted Lady Charlotte the men you have stitched will have nice looking scars.” As he said this it was with a sardonic smile.

We were shown where we could wash ourselves (with sea water naturally) then we went up to our cabin. The marine was on sentry outside looking a touch more dishevelled as he had just come down from ‘the fighting tops’ I smiled sympathetically at him asking how the action had been. “Bless you miss” he answered “We were never within range but if we could have used your Baker we would have done some damage!”

“Silence Marine I’ll have you flogged for talking to your betters!” This was from a voice I knew and one I had been trying to avoid.
I turned and sure enough it was the obnoxious ‘Lieutenant of Marines’ I was slightly annoyed as I snapped at him “He was answering a question for me – I would have found it far more distasteful had he remained silent!”
He sneered and looking down his nose at me said. “You were talking about your much vaunted skill with the gun! Ha! A likely story I have never seen a woman that could shoot straight.”

I absorbed what he had just said and could feel my anger growing. “Anna please take the children inside.” I managed to say this calmly then looking at this smirking piece of manhood I coldly whispered. “Lieutenant, please take me to your senior officer.”
Condescendingly he answered, “Later as I know the Captain is busy!” The anger in me grew but I resolved not to let it show and to allow him the think he had the upper hand..
I gave him my sweetest smile while telling him. “You misunderstood me it was not your Captain I was referring to but the Major.”
He blanched at this but thinking he was managing to brow beat me answered. “But why would you want to bother the Major?” “Lieutenant” I retorted with the emphasis on his rank. “That is for me to know and you to discover. Now shall we go to him – or do I have to go through the Admiral who is a friend of my late Papa?”

Now he knew exactly whom he was up against and he was staring defeat in the face. I could see sheen of sweat across his forehead but I was not going to let him go - a plan was forming in my head.
With a swirl of my skirts I said. “Come let us find the Major - Lieutenant!” Again emphasising his rank leaving him in no doubt who was in charge – and it certainly wasn’t him.

He lead me past the poor sentry who had witnessed this exchange once the Lieutenant had passed him he allowed a slight smile to play on his lips as I passed I gave him a broad wink and the smile was more apparent returning to his customary stern expression no doubt there would be some story told in the marines mess that night.

As we reached the main deck I spied the Captain of Marines and so did my companion turning he stammered. “Here is the Captain m’lady.” Without breaking stride I retorted. “So I see now to the Major if you please!”
Bidding good day to the Captain who looked bemused we progressed to the poop deck to where the Major of Marines stood talking to the first Lieutenant.

We approached the two of them and they broke off conversation Major Dawlish smiled broadly greeting me with a bow and saying. “Lady Charlotte how wonderful to see you on this fine day. I have heard sterling things about yourself and your companion from the surgeon – now to what do we owe this pleasure?”

I glanced at my companion who by now was a wonderful shade of grey and perspiring profusely.
I graciously thanked him then got down to business. “Major” I started. “I am not used to being called a liar and this gentleman called me thus in front of witnesses If I were a man I would demand satisfaction but as things are.........” I let the sentence drift off leaving no doubt as to my displeasure.

Historical Note: The term Loblolly boy is a fascinating one and until I wrote this episode I knew the word and what they did on a ship but had no idea where the word came from.
The name itself comes from the serving of loblolly—a thick porridge sometimes enhanced with chunks of meat or vegetables—to sick or injured crewmembers to hasten their recovery.
Loblolly, in turn, probably comes from the fusion of lob, a Yorkshire word meaning to boil or bubble, and lolly, which is an archaic English word for a stew or soup.
Loblolly itself eventually came to mean anything viscous, such as a swamp or bog, and terms such as the Loblolly pine were coined from the muddy habitat of the tree rather than from any culinary use.
The loblolly boy's duties included serving food to the sick, but also undertaking any medical tasks that the surgeon was too busy (or too high in station) to perform. These included restraining patients during surgery, obtaining and cleaning surgical instruments, disposing of amputated limbs, and emptying and cleaning toilet utensils. The loblolly boy also often managed the stocks of herbs medical supplies and medicines.
The Royal Marines were formed in 1664, during the early stages of the Second Dutch War. An Order in Council of Friday 28 October 1664 raised a regiment of 1200 land soldiers, to be distributed into His Majesty's Fleet prepared for sea service. The regiment was known as the 'Admirals Regiment'. In the early days the existence of the Marine Regiments depended on the exigencies of war. They were disbanded altogether in 1713, at the end of the war with Spain, not being reformed until 1739. They disbanded again in 1745, not reforming until 1755, when Britain was preparing for war with France. In April 1755 an Order in Council approved the recruitment of a total of 5000 regulars, formed into three Grand Divisions based at the Portsmouth, Chatham and Plymouth. The Marines totaled 50 companies and were under the control of the Board of the Admiralty. Prior to that Marines had been under the control of the Admiralty whilst at sea and the Army whilst on shore.
The Marines were never again disbanded and their numbers steadily grew. In 1802 they totaled 30,000 men, and the same year George III granted them the title “Royal”.
Marines were primarily ship based infantry, and seafaring skills were not therefore of prime importance.
The training was mostly land based and using similar weapons and tactics to that of an infantryman.
Their main roles were:-
• Guard and sentry duties, the maintenance of discipline and enforcement of regulations aboard ship. Marine quarters aboard ship were kept separate from those of seamen. They stood guard when punishment was being carried out.
• At friendly ports they performed guard duties, maintained order and ensured that sailors did not desert the ship.
• Garrison captured fortresses until relieved by the infantry.
• Act as sharpshooters and gunners on board ship.
• Act as boarding parties to seize ships and assist in sailing captured ships to friendly ports.
• On occasion to fight on land..
To carry out these duties a First rate 100 gun warship required a complement of 170 Marines.
On a ship the Royal Marines had a distinct hierarchy depending whether there was an Admiral on board.
When an Admiral was present the ranking Marine officer was the Major of Marines who was a member of the senior wardroom. Then came the Captain of Marines also a member of the senior wardroom. Finally there was the Lieutenant of Marines who was a member of the junior wardroom. All Marine officers were taken from the Gentry hence were Gentlemen – this made the conduct of the officer the Charlotte all the more serious.
Below the Lieutenant there was Sargent’s then came the Marines (know colloquially as redcoats or boot necks or many other terms of endearment)

The showdown between Charlotte and the obnoxious marine officer finally takes place. Finally Charlotte Anna and the children arrive in England where Charlotte discovers that the bounty of looted gems is worth a small fortune.

As I finished speaking Major Dawlish turned from a benign white whiskered grandfather to the very image of someone breathing hellfire and brimstone I swear that his whiskers bristled.
He turned to the Lieutenant and barked. “Let me understand this – YOU called this Lady a liar sir?” Now he knew he was beaten and managed to stammer. “Err yesss sir I mean nnnno sir.”
“Major” I interceded “He has just called me a liar again.” The Major gathered himself and a bit calmer snapped. “Let us repair to my office.” Then with a sweep of his arm said. “After you Lady Charlotte.”

We trooped below after taking leave of the First Lieutenant who had a grim smile on his face. I headed the procession like a ship of the line leading the fleet into battle and bringing up the rear was the really apprehensive Lieutenant.

As we approached the Majors quarters the two marines on duty snapped to attention. “Bring Captain Blake.” The Major snapped then we entered I was ushered to a comfortable seat while the Major sat behind his desk leaving my protagonist standing to attention.

Captain Blake arrived and I was asked to tell what had transpired. As I recounted the exchange I could see the Major becoming more and more angry. I also recounted how he had threatened to flog the sentry for talking to ‘his betters’ even though I had asked him a question and he was answering me.

“Well Quarmby any comment or are you going to call this lady a liar again?” Major Dawlish snapped. (So that was his name) Still at attention he stammered. “Nno sir err Yes sir” “Dammit man is that all you can say!” barked the by now incandescent Major. “Nno sir” he stammered again.
At this the major slammed both his fists onto his deck making everything rattle and jump. “YOU SIR ARE A DISGRACE TO THE UNIFORM!” He bellowed “NOW WHAT AM I TO DO WITH YOU!”

This was the opening I was waiting for so meekly I asked. “Major if I may make a suggestion.” Looking at me he became the epitome of a gentleman. “Of course Lady Charlotte after all it IS you that has been wronged.”

“Sir” I started to speak "All this started with the lieutenant doubting that I could shoot a gun. As it is impossible for me to challenge him to a duel and as he is a gentleman (I said that with loathing in my voice) I assume that he can shoot. Then I challenge him to shoot at targets when I win the Lieutenant will give me a full apology in front of everyone on board.”

I had emphasised the ‘when I win’ and omitted any mention of loosing. Mr Quarmby could not stay silent blurting out. “But what if I win?” I looked steadily at him and answered. “But you simply will not - however to be fair my wager is a Gold 50 franc Napoleon.” There was a gasp as this was a huge amount of money!

Major Dawlish thought about this for a moment then smiled. “What a capital idea Lady Charlotte, splendid! Captain Blake please go and make the arrangements I will speak with the Admiral but there should be no problems as the crew need a distraction.
As the others left he intimated that I should remain then looking at me steadily he said. “That was very smartly done Lady Charlotte, very smartly done.” I remained silent looking sweet and demure my hands resting on my dress.

“Can you shoot Lady Charlotte?” I nodded he gave a grunt saying. “I feared so, may I ask where you were taught?”
“Certainly Major” I replied, “I was taught by my husband on our estate in England then for the last 2 years I have been with my husband fighting the French from Portugal to the French border. (A slight exaggeration but need must)

He looked surprised and asked the inevitable question. “May I ask your husbands regiment?” “Certainly sir he is in the 95th Rifles.”
He went silent then asked, “And they completed your education?” “Indeed” was my response.

“You realise that when you win – and I don’t doubt that you will considering who taught you Mr Quarmby’s career in the Marines will be over.”

I looked him straight in the eyes and calmly answered. “Yes I am fully aware of this and have no qualms as he is too hot headed to lead men I have seen too much death due to bad leadership and have also been shown how fair leadership brings better rewards on the field of battle.
However I don’t want you to loose a good officer – and if that is what he is mayhap someone could council him as to the error of his ways.” I left that notion hanging for the Major to mull over.
He was silent for a second or two then stood and motioned to me and together we left to see the Admiral.

As Major Dawlish surmised there were no problems in this contest in fact the Admiral asked the ships captain to declare a ‘Make and Mend’ day which meant everyone not essential to the running of the ship was free to watch the contest and take a day of rest.

I went to my cabin to change into a skirt and blouse the same Marine was still on duty as I entered he quietly said “Good luck m’lady”. How news travels on a ship! I smiled at him answering. “Thank you - errr I am afraid I don’t know your name?” “Taylor m’lady” he answered. I beamed a big smile at him saying. “Thank you Mr Taylor now I’ll change and get my rifle and we will see if your good wishes help.”

When I entered Anna was keeping my children amused quickly as I changed I told her what was about to happen she gathered up the children and made ready to accompany me onto the main deck.
I checked my Baker over making sure I had enough ammunition for at least 20 shots saying a quiet prayer and remembering everything Patrick Gilroy had taught me and hoping against hope I would make him proud. When I was fully ready Anna the children and I went up on deck - at the last moment I picked up a gold Bonaparte to honour my part of the wager.

When Major Dawlish saw my Baker he sighed shaking his head saying. “Lady Charlotte with all your training and a Baker rifle - did the young fool have any idea?”
“I don’t really know sir but the redcoat on the beach told him I could shoot well and he certainly knew about the Baker.”
The rules of the contest were explained. It was over 10 shots at 2 small kegs that were thrown over this side of the ship and would drift away. Two officers would observe the kegs through telescopes the person with the most hits would win.

I handed the major the gold Napoleon saying. “Here is my part of the wager.” Then I curtsied to the Lieutenant and wished him good luck.
Then we took our places resting on the stern rail and the kegs were thrown overboard.
I knew the effective range of the Brown Bess (Gilroy has taught me well) so I was in no rush. The upshot of this contest was I won 9 hits to 5! With 5 of my hits over 100 paces when really the Brown Bess had no hope of success in fact I saved my best until my 10th shot when I hit the keg at about 250 paces.

Lieutenant Quarmby was beaten well and truly and to give him his due true to the wager he approached me and made a full apology, which of course I accepted graciously.
A marine sergeant then approached me saying. “If you please m’lady I’ll take your rifle and clean it for you.”
“Thank you” I smiled at him. “But I was taught a good trooper looks after their best friend (the gun) so there is no one else to blame should he let me down.”
He looked surprised at this saying. “If I may say so m’lady that’s good advice but I really wanted to look at your gun miss as I’ve never seen one before.”
I looked at him then asked him to remain where he was while I spoke to the Major.
I approached the major who was in conversation with the Admiral and asked. “Major Dawlish one of your sergeants has expressed a desire to look at the Baker, with your permission I would like to show him how to use it.”

The Admiral congratulated me and said. “You are really your Fathers daughter young Lady.” I was absurdly pleased by this and wondered how I would have turned out had I remained a boy all those years ago I seemed to have more confidence and courage as the woman and mother I now was.
Then Major Dawlish responded. “Of course Lady Charlotte but I fear we will never be equipped with them as they are too temperamental for shipboard life.”
I smiled at that and commented. “In truth Major they seem to manage the rigour of forced marched and river crossing well - as long as they are looked after!” He looked thoughtful at this nodding while deep in thought.

After the excitement of the contest things settled down a lot I became something of a minor celebratory and Lieutenant Quarmby even spoke civilly to me and I noticed treated the lower ranks with more humanity - whether if was the contest or someone had spoken to him I will never know.

After I showed the sergeant how to use my Baker I left it in his capable hands so that all the marines could try it and they were very impressed even the officers were complimentary of course my supply of shot was soon used but this was no barrier as the marines simply copied mine and made their own.

Together with our prize (the French first rate) we tacked back towards England – in truth I was glad of the delay as it meant I would not have to face mama but deep inside I knew that soon I must ‘face the music’.
My children were now fully walking with what the sailors called ‘a seaman’s roll’ legs apart to counteract the movement of the ship. They were also talking which was a blessing one way but like little sponges they soaked up everything including the language of the petty officers and sailors.
The first time I heard Edmond shout. “Avast hauling ye laggard” I was both tickled and appalled this was one of the more repeatable phrases he picked up and Annabel was picking up the same vocabulary telling Anna to “belay that ye scurvy s’drell” which we think she meant scoundrel!

Finally the wind shifted to a more favourable direction and we started to make some headway we passed the Scilly Isles to larboard keeping well clear of these islands, which were feared by sailors as a graveyard for ships as they are surrounded by sharp rocks and hidden reefs.

Christmas dawned and the ship was on make and mend with an extra church service and a meal that was slightly above the normal fare.
Boxing day land loomed to larboard and as the ship cautiously neared it was determined that it was the Lizard which meant it was not far to Plymouth if the wind held fair.
So it proved and just before the New Year we approached Plymouth sound in a snowstorm and gently brought this massive ship and it’s prize to anchor safely in the shelter of Plymouth harbour about half a mile from the shore, which of course meant the dreaded chair down to the bobbing cutter.

We packed our few possessions and made ready to leave the ‘Ville de Paris’ when it was deemed appropriate. I was determined that before we travelled to London we would obtain fresh clothing both for ourselves and the children however I decided that we would keep our looted well worn finery to see it they could be cleaned and used again.

We landed ashore on New Years day and after asking where accommodation could be found that was suitable for a Lady of Quality and her children travelling alone we were directed to a nice house away from the port area but overlooking the Sound that was run by a matronly lady whose husband a Captain had been killed at Trafalgar.
When she saw the dishevelled state of us her maternal instincts went into full speed. She showed us to our rooms on the second floor of the house we had a small sitting room a bedroom for Anna and the children and a separate bedroom for me.
She got her servants to run us tubs of hot water so we could wash ourselves and the children then the took away all – yes all of our clothes to wash and make suitable we were left with our pantaloons and two beautiful heavy silk satin wraps (Looted) which we had never worn. Mine was the palest pink down to the floor tied by a wide sash it was adorned is embroidered flowers. Anna’s was a simple pale blue unadorned.

Mrs Milward assured us that our clothing would be ready the next day then she would show us where the best places were to acquire our new wardrobe.
Then she produced some clothes for my children! She must have seen my look of amazement explaining that her neighbour had children the same age as mine and had lent them to me until I could purchase some myself.

Totally clean for the first time in god knows how long my long hair shining and lustrous we started our adjustment to life back in England where I was once again a Lady of breeding with all the restrictions and customs that entailed while Anna took up her new role as my children’s nanny.
As much as it pained me this is how it must be on the surface but we both knew that after everything we had experienced in private our relationship was so very different to the public façade.

Maud (Mrs Milward) was bursting to hear our story so Anna and I sat with her in the parlour sipping chocolate and telling her of our last 2 years. She listened with a far away look in her eyes possibly regretting times past it was not our place to ask.
My children were being taken care of by the housemaid who loved her new and unexpected task.
Getting ready for dinner certainly didn’t take long as all we had to wear were our gowns but news from the housekeeper was good as our clothes had come up well and were drying as we spoke.
Dinner was a really pleasant meal and very surprising as the cook had spent time in India with her husband so parts of the meal were quite exotic and spiced while other parts were traditional British fare.
Soup was Mulligatawny when Anna and I first tried it the taste made us both cough but we soon were used to the spices in it.
Then followed pigeons in a white sauce with mushrooms and a rice dish called Pilau rice that had raisins, pine nuts, onion and spices mixed into the rice.
For the main course Mutton with potatoes kale and various sweet and savoury pasties with small bowls of sauces.
The meal was finished with Jelly and sorbet and hot chocolate all in all it was very convivial and as we retired to our rooms we felt contented and very, very sleepy.
Before sleeping ourselves we looked in at the children blissfully asleep in two cots by Anna’s bed.

The next day dawned bright, crisp and cold there was a slight dusting of snow and from my bedroom window Plymouth Sound looked beautiful I was so minded to sketch the beauty of it until I remembered my sketch pad was full and I needed to buy one today this spurred me to get out of the very comfortable bed there was a knock at the door and when I bade them enter it was the housemaid with a bowl of hot water for me to wash in and the boot boy with coals to light the small fire in my room.

As the room warmed she and the housekeeper returned with armful of my clothing. While I washed the housemaid put my clothes away then I was left in peace to dress. Thinking about the cold weather I realised that I didn’t have any suitable clothes and certainly no warm cloak or coat. There was another knock at the door and Anna entered carrying her corset. We laced each other into the garment of torture then dressed I wore my warmest dress which was in lavender silk with a silk and lace bodice that covered me to the neck underneath as well as my pantaloons I had black silk stockings to my knee two petticoats and a chemise.

Gathering the children we made our way for breakfast where Maud was sitting sipping tea.
She greeted us and kissed the children. “Lady Charlotte” she began when I interrupted her “Please Maud call me Charlotte I really prefer it so.”
Maud smiled at me saying. “As I was saying Charlotte if you would like I could send for a girl I am acquainted with and she could look after the children while yourself and companion are being measured for you clothes. Also I expect Mr Baring to be here shortly to transact the business we discussed yesterday.”

Sipping my chocolate nibbling a rather tasty croissant I considered the offer and decided that it would be best as the children would be a bit of a handful during the day.
A maid was dispatched to bring the girl and we finished our breakfast there came a knock on the door which proved to be Mr Baring who had been recommended by Mrs Milward as a honest broker for changing jewels into money in fact he looked after Mrs Milward ‘s financial affairs charging only 2% of the value of the goods being sold.
Mr Baring’s family were émigrés and had started a Merchant Banking business the name coming from the fact that they converted merchandise into money and looked after this for their clients.
They had their main business in London but also had family members in most of the naval seaports this was to convert prize goods into money for the crews of ships.
Today I was selling a rather vulgar diamond and ruby gold necklace, together with matching ear-rings the largest diamonds were the size of a quails egg the smallest the size of a finger nail. I personally thought the whole ensemble was revolting. (Emperor Joseph’s wife certainly has garish tastes in some of her jewellery)

Mr Baring how to describe him? His black hair streaked with grey he was thin faced with a kindly demeanour but his brown eyes were shrewd also he was amazingly small only about 5’ 4”. Oh and he had the biggest nose I had ever seen it made Wellingtons beak look tiny!

We were introduced and Maud suggested that we go upstairs to my parlour to conduct our business.
He looked at the pieces intently sucking on a tooth (he only had three or four in his whole mouth).
“Lady Charlotte” he rasped “This is a fine piece worth far more in London. What I suggest is that I will give you 2000 guineas now for it then I will send it to my Family in London and this way we will maximise your income.”
I was amazed as this was an extraordinary amount of money enough to buy a house I agreed at once to this.

He nodded then continued. “I assume that you do not want to carry this amount of money with you so I suggest that you get the seamstress and shopkeepers to send your accounts to my address and I will settle them for you.
We will send you a monthly account and again when you go to London if you desire my cousin will be available to manage your business under the same terms. I can assure you that we come highly recommended please feel free to make enquiries about our family we rely on being honest, fair and reliable.

This sounded an excellent idea and set me thinking I asked about security and he explained how the merchant banking system worked giving me confidence in him and his company I would be issued with a certificate on behalf of the bank affirming the fact that I was a member of the bank hence protected to a certain degree.

Making my mind up I asked him to wait and went to get the rest of our ‘gains’ including the gold Napoleons.
When I emptied the jewels and gold onto the table his eyes widened and he sucked on his tooth vigorously assessing the items before him.
Lady Charlotte this is a large amount of money I really would like to send this to London for a full and comprehensive assessment – however I will advance you 50,000 guineas now and deposit it in your account. However I am certain that once London had disposed of these more will soon follow.

I was staggered as now I was a woman of substance as was Anna because half of this was her’s. Mr Baring went on the tell me how his bank worked I held a certificate and the bank would pay me a percentage of the amount in my account annually in my case this would be in the region of £2500 a year which was a huge amount easily enough to live on. The bank would deduct a sum for looking after my affairs but this was minimal. They made money from using money deposited to fund trade.

Historical Note:
As early as 1738, Britain's Admiralty had muskets made specifically for its sailors and Marines. Throughout the next 100 years the sea service musket went through a slow evolution in lock styles, but three elements remained the same: (1) a short barrel, (2) a two ramrod pipes, and (3) a distinctly flat butt plate with a square-cornered butt. This butt shape was completely unique to the sea service musket. From 1757, this musket was produced in both a bright finish and a blackened or japanned finish. It is likely the bright finish was the distinguishing element of the arms of the Marines (after 1802 "Royal Marines") from that issued to the sailors. Bright arms were a source of pride for Infantry Regiments and considering the infantry-like duties of the Marines, it is likely they possessed the time to maintain the bright finish both at sea and while on service ashore. Not so for the seamen whose time was better spent in seafaring than polishing. Blackening the barrels of their muskets to protect them from salty seawater was the better option. On some original this blackening was even extended to the brass as well.

The Scilly Isles was the site of the largest loss of life in the British Navy Led by the Commander-in-Chief of the British Fleets Sir Cloudesley Shovell, a fleet of twenty-one ships left Gibraltar on 29 September, with HMS Association serving as his own flagship, HMS Royal Anne as flagship of Vice-Admiral of the Blue Sir George Byng and HMS Torbay as flagship of Rear-Admiral of the Blue Sir John Norris. The passage was marked by extremely bad weather and constant squalls and gales. As the fleet sailed out on the Atlantic, passing the Bay of Biscay on their way to England, the weather worsened and storms gradually pushed the ships off their planned course. Finally, on the night of 22 October 1707 Old Style (2 November 1707 by the modern calendar), the squadron entered the mouth of the English Channel and Shovell's sailing masters believed that they were on the last leg of their journey. The fleet was thought to be sailing safely west of Ushant, an island outpost off the coast of Brittany However, because of a combination of the bad weather and the mariners' inability to accurately calculate their longitude, the fleet was off course and closing in on the Isles of Scilly instead. Before their mistake could be corrected, the fleet struck rocks and four ships were lost:
The exact number of officers, sailors and marines who were killed in the sinking of the four ships is unknown. Statements vary between 1,400 and over 2,000, making it one of the greatest maritime disasters in British history. For days afterwards, bodies continued to wash onto the shores of the isles along with the wreckage of the warships and personal effects. Many dead sailors from the wrecks were buried on the island of St Agnes. Admiral Shovell's body, along with those of his two Narborough stepson and his flag-captain, Edmund Loades, washed up on Porthellick Cove on St Mary's the following day, almost seven miles (11 km) from where the Association was wrecked. A small memorial was later erected at this site. The circumstances under which the admiral's remains were found gave rise to stories of looting and murder. Shovell was temporarily buried on the beach on St Mary's

The British Banking System: Many goldsmiths were associated with The Crown but, following seizure of gold held at the Royal Mint in the Tower of London by Charles I, they extended their services to gentry and aristocracy as the Royal Mint was no longer considered a safe place to keep gold.
Goldsmiths came to be known as ‘keepers of running cash’ and they accepted gold in exchange for a receipt as well as accepting written instructions to pay back, even to third parties. This instruction was the forerunner to the modern banknote or cheque.
During this period of history (late 1700 to early 1800), services offered by banks increased. Clearing facilities, security investments and overdraft protections were introduced. An Act of Parliament in 1708 restricted banks with more than six partners from issuing bank notes. This had the effect of keeping private banks as small partnerships. Joint stock investment companies were already well established, but joint stock banks did not become well established until the following century.
The Industrial Revolution and growing international trade increased the number of banks, especially in London. These new "merchant banks" facilitated trade growth, profiting from England's emerging dominance in seaborne shipping. Two immigrant families, Rothschild and Baring, established merchant banking firms in London in the late 18th century and came to dominate world banking in the next century.
Many merchant banks were also established outside London, especially in growing industrial and port cities such as Manchester, Birmingham, Newcastle and Liverpool. By 1784, there were more than 100 provincial banks. The industrialist turned banker such as Fox, Fowler and Company could assist his own industry since he not only provided a local means of payment, but also accepted deposits. Here we have a parallel with the early goldsmith banking.
A great impetus to country banking came in 1790 when, with England threatened by war, the Bank of England suspended cash payments. A handful of Frenchmen landed in Pembrokeshire, causing a panic. Shortly after this incident, Parliament authorised the Bank of England and country bankers to issue notes of low denomination.

This chapter is mainly about a dilemma of Anna’s and I have gone into some detail over it. I apologise if I have discouraged any readers but I thought it necessary for the story.

Mr Baring then handed me a card saying. “If you show this to the tradespeople they know me and the accounts will come directly to me.” I asked him for some ready money for carriages and such like.
“Of course Lady Charlotte what do you require?” I thought for a moment then answered. “I honestly have no idea Mr Baring what do you suggest.” Thinking he then suggested that I have two golden guineas, two half guineas then a guinea made up of crowns, half crowns, shillings, thruppences copper pennies, ha’pennies and farthings which I agreed to he went into the same bag that would hold my bounty and counted out the money annotating the amount into a small ledger.
He gathered up my jewels and gold and placed them in his nondescript bag then taking leave he left me stunned with the bounty I had just received. However I simply could not stop myself asking. “Mr Baring will you be safe carrying so much?” He turned and smiled. “Thanks you for your concern but I have 2 acquaintances waiting for me outside. I will be perfectly safe.”
With that he left and I was left contemplating how I was going to break the news to Anna that she was a wealthy woman in her own right.
Still mulling this over I went downstairs where Maud, Anna and the children were waiting also the girl Maud knew what there playing with the children after speaking to her I took a liking to her and felt confident that my children would be looked after and be safe.

It was not far to the seamstress so we walked it Maud had 2 woollen cloaks she let us use so we were both warmish.
At the seamstresses Anna was lucky as there were some gowns suitable for her, which needed minimal adjustments this being the case she selected 4 in pastel colours suitable for her work. For me there was only one dress suitable for my station (everything in our life was governed by our status in life!) and this was a walking dress in a pale yellow lawn fabric with red piping cut to the ankles for ease when walking.
I ordered 2 morning dresses one in silk satin the other in fine wool also matching bonnets bonnet’s I purchased a warm mantle with a deep fur collar.
And a kerseymere pelisse made from velvet this was tight fitting around my bust and down to my ankles.
Needless to say we bought underwear drawers, chemises, kerchiefs and of course corsets then came shoes and stockings all in all we spent £35 on clothes for the four of us with the majority on Anna and myself the children’s clothes were far cheaper than I thought they would be. During this time Maud was wonderfully helpful to us especially with the clothes for my children.
With a little trepidation I showed Mr Baring’s card which was accepted with a smile and the seamstress told us that she would deliver my freshly made dresses in a few days time and the rest of our shopping would be at Maud’s house when we arrived home later.

Next we went to a shop and bought my new sketchbook with some watercolour paints and charcoal, some writing paper with pen and ink and other small items.
Finally we hired a Chaise to take us to a saddler where we ordered a trunk each for our clothes when we travelled to London.
The same Chaise took us home as after a long day’s shopping we all were weary and I was missing my children.

The Chaise rolled up at Maud’s house and I paid the coachman the shilling he requested for the service we were met at the door by the housekeeper who I must say looked a touch agitated. “Mistress” she started, “There’s a Naval gentleman in the parlour waiting for your return.”
Maud looked at me and I shrugged as to say that I had no idea who this could be – and I didn’t. Also we found out that our shopping had arrived and was waiting for us upstairs in our rooms.
As we made our way upstairs Mrs Milward went to the Parlour to meet the mysterious gentleman.
Anna was up in our rooms when Maud called me back down the stairs into the Parlour.
Bless my soul who should be sitting there but John Newsome Anna’s gentleman friend. “Mr Newsome” I greeted him warmly “I assume that it’s Anna you have come to see – not myself?”
He rose and bowed. “Lady Charlotte how very nice to see you, but yes I would like to see Anna.” As I observed him I noticed that he looked a touch worried I assume it was that the two of them had been apart for so long.
So to put him at ease I smiled warmly saying. “I will go and tell her you are here – but please remember she will want to change, as do I so we will be a small while. Maud would it be in order for Mr Newsome to remain here until we are ready then if it is fine with you he can come up to our sitting room?”
I was mindful of the conventions and that this was Mrs Milward’s house. Maud nodded her assent then asked if John would like some refreshments.

I went upstairs where Anna was playing with the children along with the girl Maud had recommended. “Anna I have some news for you” “What may that be Miss.” She responded. “Well” Just then a knock came Anna opened the door and a maid was there with an ewer of piping hot water and one of cold.
I thanked the girl then addressing Anna I said. “You will want a wash and put one of your new dresses on I would guess.”
The poor girl looked really mystified asking. “But why Miss Charlotte?” Grinning broadly I put her out of her misery. “Because your Mr Newsome is downstairs – somehow he has discovered we are here and he wants to visit you!”

Anna let out a small shriek of panic looking around as it to hide. “What will I do Miss Charlotte?” I took her by the shoulders and looked into her eyes telling her. “You will was then change into your new lilac dress then we will go down to meet him.”
The calmness in my voice must have gotten through to her chewing her bottom lip she looked at me with pleading eyes asking. “You will be with me Miss?” I smiled with what I hoped was confidence telling her. “A young lady must be chaperoned at all times.” “But” she was about to argue when I repeated. “A young Lady – which is what you are.”

After we had washed and changed our apparel we went down stairs I stood aside. Looking nervous (but beautiful in he new dress) Anna entered and as Mr Newsome rose she blushed and slowly approached him.
I sat away from them leaving them to their own conversation Anna remembered everything I had told her about a young lady and her beau while being courted.

They were talking for well over an hour when Anna suddenly leapt to her feet hand over her mouth stammering. “No John I simply cannot!” it was then I saw that Mr Newsome was on one knee and I realised what had happened.
“But why not Anna we both love each other.” Anna was very upset and tears were streaming down her cheeks. “John I simply cannot I am low born and beneath you we simply cannot be wed!” With that she fled the room leaving just the two of us.

John looked distraught and foolishly I thought it was because Anna had blurted out her background and was disappointed in him until he said. “Lady Charlotte what difference does Anna’s birth make? I love her and want to marry her – I simply do not understand.”

I stood up with a sigh and sat where Anna had been sitting patting the cushion next to me I asked him. “You understand what Anna said?” He nodded answering. “Yes Lady Charlotte what she said was that she was born to someone of the lower class.” I nodded and followed up saying. “You fully understand the implications now what about your family how would they feel?”

He looked at me steadily and answered. “My father is a clergyman who as a matter of interest hates the class system.” The realising that I was a member of the system hastily said. “Begging your pardon Lady Charlotte.” I waved to indicate it meant nothing to me and let him continue. He continued “My father would happily marry Anna and I – please Lady Charlotte please intervene on my behalf I beg you.”
“John I will talk to Anna and tell her everything you have told me but I must warn you she is very stubborn would it be possible for you to return two days hence.”
He stood replying. Certainly Lady Charlotte please make her agree – please.” I nodded saying. “I will do my best John I will really do my best as you two are ideal for each other. I can promise no more.”
“I can ask no more Lady Charlotte I thank you from the bottom of my heart.” With that he stood and I showed him to the door reminding him. “Two days John and I hope she will see sense.”

I closed the door and sighed looking at the stairs I knew that I would have a fight on my hands making Anna see sense. Julia the girl looking after my children was watching over them as they slept curled up on the settee. “Where is Anna?” I asked she pointed to the closed door leading to Anna’s bedroom. Again I sighed as I knocked no the door. “Anna it’s me Charlotte, may I come in?” A sniffle was the reply, which I assumed was yes so I entered the room. Anna was laid across her bed it was obvious she was much distressed.

I was on totally new ground here so I simply let Anna lead how things progressed to get her feelings out.
I simply sat on the bed and waited after a while she stirred and presented me a tear-streaked face. “Oh Miss Charlotte” she sobbed “what am I to do?”
I stroked her cheek saying. “Anna it’s simple you both love each other so Marry Mr Newsome.”
Anna let out something between a wail, cough and a sob. “But he was born above me he will not want to marry someone from my station.” Then she dissolved into floods of tears.
“Anna, Anna.” I quietly said and waited until I had her attention continuing. “Mr Newsome simply doesn’t care – he is in love with you.” “B,b,b,but his family will despise me and hate me for being a servant!”
I was on firmer ground here as John had told me about his Fathers views. “Anna what has John told you about his family?” That pretty tear streaked face looked at me so disconsolate I gathered her up into my arms and held her to my breast.
“H, h, he is a parson and they are above my station!” She wailed I felt very annoyed with this silly class system – but there again it is simple for me because I am part of the problem.
Gathering my thoughts I soldiered on, “Yes he is a parson but he is a progressive parson who hates the class system – I would think that he would greet you with open arms and be proud that his son is marrying such a pretty and intelligent girl.”

I left her to think about this as I held her to me. Finally she stirred looking up at me asked. “Do you think so Miss really think so?” I gave a tentative smile and answered. “Have I ever lied to you?” She shook her head “I honestly believe this you are not a servant you are governess to my children.” Now that was a mistake on my part as she wailed and sobbed, “But I must leave you and the children I cannot bear to be parted you and they are my life Miss Charlotte.”
“No we are not!” I said somewhat sharply. “Your life lies with Mr Newsome and the children you will have when you are married.”
Now that managed to get through to her – the fact that once married she would have her own children. I could see her thinking seriously about that fact.
“But Miss what would I do while John is at sea?” Now that got me! I had to think about this. “Well you would stay at home looking after your house.” This was the first thing I thought of.
“Oh Miss Charlotte I would go demented only doing this I need to do something.”

“What do you want to do – you certainly do not want to go into service do you? After all you are above that now!”
“Am I? Am I really above that?” she asked me. “Oh course you are Anna! You can read and write, you can do your numbers, you read about history and geography.
Of course you are above going into service.” I reasoned with her then I stood saying. “Anna you are now a young lady of some financial means you can do anything you want to.”

Then I left her to think on what I had said – in truth I think I have made her reconsider her hasty decision a lot sooner that I thought.
I went downstairs in dire need of a cup of tea and finding Maud I asked her it if would be in order. She smiled broadly saying, “What a capital idea!” She rang for the maid and ordered some hot water. As Maud mixed the tea to our taste I told her my problem with Anna wondering what she could do once she was married.
“Lady Charlotte.” Maud began “if I may ask why are you a Lady of quality worried about Anna?”
“That is the problem I am simply a woman worrying about my friend except for an accident of birth I am exactly the same – we are all the same human beings we weep, we grieve, we bleed and we feel these strictures that our society place on us cause many problems!” I exclaimed with the passion I felt about the subject.

Maud looked at me with a shrewd look commenting. “You are a bit of a rebel Lady Charlotte are you not”? Shaking my head wearily I sighed. “Maybe, maybe not but it seems wrong.”
Maud then changed the subject asking. “You said that Anna has money in her own right.” A little surprised I nodded. “May I be rude and enquire how she has become so?”
I gave a wry smile answering. “I assume that it was the same method your late Husband acquired his fortune. We or rather the 95th were present when the Emperor Josephs baggage train was looted and we acquired some trinkets. May I now ask why you want to know?”
“Well” she began “Here in Plymouth there is a real need for premises like my own where Ladies of Quality can stay while their husbands are in port as many times their husbands cannot get home!”
It was like a lightening bolt had hit me as it dawned what she was saying. “Maud” I exclaimed you mean?” She nodded saying and if you wish I can help her find the perfect premises.
It was like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders; I sipped my tea and considered her proposal my mind working overtime I asked what would be the outlay.
As it turned out it was surprisingly small; the premises rental on a suitable villa on a three lifetimes lease would be about £60 per annum furnishings and fittings another £500 to £1000 then there was servants, cooks and housekeepers whose wages would be in total £5 a week. All this was well within Anna’s means and she would have a house in Plymouth close to John’s parents and somewhere for the two of them to live I was excited and managed to say. “This could solve all her problem’s now if only I can persuade her and Mr Newsome.” “We Lady Charlotte you mean we can persuade Anna and I will help you.”

That evening at supper I broached the subject to Anna at first she was sceptical but when Maud started to tell her the in’s and out’s of having a guest house she started listening and by the time we were sipping our chocolate she was actually warming to the idea.
I left her talking to Maud and went and wrote a letter to Mama telling her I was in Plymouth and would shortly be up in London to see her and tell her my story.
As it was still only 6 in the evening I called for the boot boy to take my letter to the mail coach that would be leaving in the morning giving him a penny for his troubles and sixpence for the postage.
Julia was still with the children having got them ready for bed I was well satisfied with her days work so I asked her if she wanted to look after the children while we were in Plymouth and I am happy to say she leapt at the chance to make some regular money so giving her a thruppence I sent her home to have her return tomorrow.

As I sat down I realised that I had only been back in England for 2 days and yet so much had happened events seemed to be like a giant whirlpool that tumbled everything together. Yet this seemed to be happening in a nice way; next week once my new clothes were ready I had told Mama that I would go to London to see her and tell my story.
I was desperately worried about this and I suppose that I was putting off the inevitable I loved my mother so very much what would I do if she rejects my children! I stared down at their sleeping faces so innocent so trusting and so beautiful I knew that I would never give them up, no matter what.

Historical Note:
Afternoon tea is said to have originated with one person - Anna, 7th Duchess of Bedford. In the early 1800's she launched the idea of having tea in the late afternoon to bridge the gap between luncheon and dinner, which in fashionable circles might not be served until 8 o'clock at night. This fashionable custom soon evolved into high tea among the working classes, where this late afternoon repast became the main meal of the day.
Even in 1810 tea was fashionable but mainly in the afternoons the other main drink was chocolate, coffee was rapidly becoming more popular at this time and would soon overtake chocolate as the second drink of choice.

The government currency was pounds sterling. There was no pound coin. There were golden guineas (£1 1 shilling) and half guinea coins though. People could make up a guinea or a pound using the multiplicity of coins and tokens which were in use in the early 1800s, groats, thrupennces, sixpences and shillings etc.
But I must make the point, most people never saw a pound, their money came in farthings, ha'pennies, pennies and tokens.
And yes, because of their low wages most people never had a guinea in their pockets either.
'Wages and currency values
Around the year 1800 the average weekly labour's wage was around 6 - 10 shillings (30 - 50pence or 40 - 60 cents)
The value of the pound £1 in the first quarter of the nineteenth century would be approximately equal to £1000 today!
But it is very difficult to convert the worth of the amount of money Charlotte and Anna actually have.
According to a website called ‘Measuring Worth the conversion of 50,000 guineas varies from 3 to 200 million so it is not an exact science with such a wide variation in figures, needless to say the two girls were comfortably off and would survive.

Housing in the 1810’s in Britain during this time private ownership was rare 90% of the housing was held by the landed gentry or the church and rented out on various length leases the longer the lease the lower rental would be - in this case the three lifetime lease was 61 years.
Unlike these days the person leasing was responsible for all the upkeep of the building and internal decorations all the leaseholder did was provide the house.