The Beginning – Part 1 by Anna Olivia

My heart was pounding. I entered the women’s section of Macy’s. I was excited to look at the lingerie and hosiery. Two of my favorite things to wear. However, I was nervous too. How many eleven-year-old boys like to look at that stuff? My mom decided to go look at household items. She said I could roam around free a bit. So, I slowly walked down the deserted aisle of women’s underwear, pantyhose and lingerie. I got excited but also felt hesitant and nervous. I could not stop too long because I did not want the sales people to get suspicious and ask me uncomfortable questions.

I stopped at the hosiery section and looked at the different pairs when I was sure nobody was watching me. How much I wished I could buy all of those. I grabbed a pair of black pantyhose and studied the package intently.

Suddenly I heard a voice that said: “What are you doing?”

I dropped the package and looked to my left in shock. Standing in front of me was a beautiful girl about my age. I did not know what to say. I stuttered: “Well, I….I don’t know what…”, I mumbled looking down.

“Wait a minute!” said the blonde girl. “Aren’t you in my math class? You are Randy, right?” she asked curiously. My face turned red and I started sweating. How will I get out of this situation?

“Well, yes! You know I picked these up for my sister and…” I wanted to explain but the girl interrupted me again.

“You don’t have to make up an excuse. I saw the look in your eyes when you held the package. Would you like to wear them?” she asked me with a curious and gentle look on her face. I wasn’t sure what to respond. I felt busted so I just told her the truth.

“Yes” I said and looked her straight in the eyes. I was relieved when I saw her smile and it felt liberating to express this secret desire to someone for the first time.

“I know I never really talked to you in math class but the thought that you seemed a bit girly occurred to me.” she admitted.

I felt touched by this but tried to hide that. “You are Samantha, right?” I asked her.

“Well, my friends call me Sammy. But you are right.” she answered with a big smile on her face. “Oh, and your secret desire will be safe with me. I think it’s kind of cute.” she told me.

“Did you make a new friend?” my mom, who was suddenly standing there, asked me. I cringed inside and my face turned red again. I could not say a word when Sammy took over.

“I am Samantha, but my friends call me Sammy”, she confidently said to my mom.

“Oh, it is a pleasure to meet you Sammy! Randy never talked about you.” my mom said with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, Randy and I are in the same math class but we kind of just started talking.” Sammy said. I felt halfway normal again and my heart wasn’t racing anymore.

“Randy and I have to go. It was nice meeting you, Sammy.” my mom said.

“Sammy, can I have your phone number?” I asked bravely. I felt very comfortable talking to Sammy. I wanted to talk to and get to know her more.

“Sure, give me your cell phone number and I sent you a text.” Sammy requested. My face lit up excitedly as I took out my cell phone. I saw my mom smiling in the corner of my eyes.

I loved watching the beautiful trees go by in the fall when I ride in the car. I felt dreamy and a bit overwhelmed but happy on multiple levels. I was just caught looking at a pair of pantyhose in Macy’s by this girl who is in my math class. She never talked to me before and when she saw me looking at the pantyhose package, I thought my life was over. However, she treated me with kindness. She is very pretty and I think I like her a lot. Now that I have her phone number, I will call her and hopefully we can become friends.

“Honey, what would you like for dinner tonight?”, my mom asked while driving.

“How about Macaroni & Cheese?” I suggested. This made my mom smile.

“Ah, your favorite! Well, I guess we can do that. By the way, your new friend is cute. Will you call her soon?” my mom asked me with a grin on her face.

“I guess so” I replied. I did not want my mom to know how much I like her already.

“Well, I think you should. Maybe you want to invite her over for a play date some time?” my mom asked me.

“That sounds like a good idea” I said maybe a little bit too enthusiastically. On the inside I smiled. I hope Samantha will say yes. I had a feeling that my life was about to change.

When we arrived home, I was quick to go into my room. I wanted to get my phone out right away and call Sammy. However, I felt a bit hesitant too. Will Sammy like me? Will she really keep my secret? Now I was not sure anymore. I gave myself a push and tried to call her. My right hand was shaking a bit while it was ringing.
“Hello?” a soft voice said.

“Oh hi, Sammy. It’s Randy. I thought I give you a call.” I stuttered a little bit.

“Well, hello. That was quick. Don’t worry. I am just teasing you.” Sammy replied. “How have you been?” she asked.

“I am okay. I wanted to ask you something. My mom said I could invite you over to my house, if you wanted to. We could watch a movie or something.” I suggested.

Sammy laughed a bit and seemed amused. “Did she really say that? Well, I guess I don’t have a choice then. I have to ask my mom but I could come over on Saturday after my ballet lesson. Where do you live?” she inquired.

“I live on 2789 Chestnut Street.” I said rather quickly.

“Oh, I think I know where that is. I will ask my mom and then give you a call back or text you.” Sammy said.

“Okay, that sounds great. I have to ask my mom too if Saturday works but I am sure it will.” I replied excitedly.

“Okay, Randy. Oh and by the way, I think you could be a very cute girl. I will bring some girlie magazines and we can think about some outfits.” Sammy said and hung up. My jaw dropped.

Sammy seemed like an amazing person. She comes across so self-confident but also gentle and kind. I can’t wait to get to know her more. “Randy! It’s almost supper time. Please help me set the table. Your dad will be home soon too.” my mom called.

“Okay mom!” I answered and went downstairs. I helped set the table while my mom smiled at me. Our kitchen was rather big and had a lot of room to cook and sit in. Tonight was just a normal dinner so we will not eat in the dining room. Never the less, I organized the plates and silverware neatly. My dad would arrive soon.

“So, did you call Sammy yet?’ my mum asked impatiently.

“Yes. I wanted to talk to you about that. Can she come over on Saturday after her ballet lesson?”

“Absolutely! I am glad you are making a new friend. Sammy seems so nice.” my mom said and gave me a hug.

“Thanks, mom!” I said and smiled at her. At school I don’t have a lot of friends. I know that a lot of people think I am awkward. My mom always gave me a lot of support.

I heard the oak door open while my dad entered. “Hey, it smells yummy in here. What’s for supper?” he asked while giving my mom a hug and a kiss.

“Your son requested Macaroni & Cheese, so I made that with some chicken.” my mom announced.

“Wonderful! I am hungry. Let’s eat!” my dad insisted. We sat down at the kitchen table and started eating. “So, what have you two been up to this afternoon?’ he inquired.

“We went to Macy’s and that was about it. Oh, and Randy made a new friend at Macy’s. It’s this girl named Samantha. They know each other from math class and exchanged phone numbers. She is coming over this Saturday for a date.” my mom said enthusiastically. I blushed.

“Mom! It’s not a date! It’s just hanging out with a new friend.” I insisted. My dad seemed stunned.

“Well, that is good news.” he said proudly. “I like that you are making new friends. Oh, while we are at the subject. Have you thought about signing up for the soccer try outs?” he asked me.

“No, not really.” I said a little defensively.

“Randy, please give it some thought. You could make more new friends. You should give people a chance to get to know you.” he insisted. I started to feel upset and a little angry. We had this discussion several times.

‘Dad, they don’t want to get to know me. They think I am an awkward duck. I tried really hard but they only make fun of me.” I said feeling angry.

‘Randy, you are not awkward. I think you are just not trying hard enough.” my dad said rather forcefully. I could feel tears coming down my eyes.

“That is enough!” my mom interrupted. “Steve, you should leave Randy alone. He was so happy he is making a new friend. Give him some credit.” she told him.

“May I be excused?” I asked my parents.

“Sure” my dad said quietly. I left rather quickly to go to my room while I started crying more. I threw myself on the bed and thought about what to do next. Mary! I will call my big sister Mary. She is 19 and a freshman at Oregon State University. She always knows what to do. I took out my phone and dialed her number.

“Randy?” my big sister said when she answered the phone.

“Hey, sis! I need to talk to you.” I said with a quivering voice.

“What’s wrong, babe?” she asked sounding concerned. She always calls me babe which I loved.

“Well, dad and I had a fight and I….I started getting angry and upset and I….I…”, I tried to say but then I started crying a lot again.

“Shhhh…it’s okay babe. Listen, why don’t you calm down for a minute and we will talk about it. Okay? One of my classmates was supposed to meet me in a bit but I will tell her to meet later or cancel. Before we talk about why you are upset, tell me what you did after school today?” she said calmly.

I took a deep breath and felt a bit better. Then I remembered Sammy. “Well, I ran into this girl from my math class at Macys and we exchanged phone numbers and she will come over to our house to hang out and …” I said a little excitedly when Mary interrupted me.

“Wait a minute! A girl is coming over to our house to spend time with you? Like on a date? Oh, babe! I am so proud of you!” she said kind of giddy.

“Well, thanks Mary. But it is not really a date. It’s just two friends hanging out.” I insisted.

“Are you sure about that? Is she cute?” she asked me teasingly.

“Actually, she is very cute. I like her a lot already. I hope we will become friends.” I stated.

“I hope you will, too. Tell me everything that happened. Okay, babe?” Mary insisted.

“I will.” I said truthfully.

“So, why did dad and you fight?” she asked me.

“Oh, he brought up the soccer try outs and he said I am not trying hard enough making new friends.” I told her.

“Babe, I am sorry about that. I know it is hard for you. Dad should be happy you met this girl.” Mary said.

“That’s what mom said too. I left the dinner table and started crying. Mary, you are the best sister anyone could ask for. You always help me. I love you so much!” I said, crying again.

“Oh, babe! You are the best br…other any big sister could ask for. I love you too! Listen, why don’t we pick this up after your date. Will you be okay?” she asked me in a gentle voice.

“I think so.” I answered.

“Good. Make sure you don’t leave out any details when you tell me about your date. Also, please send me a selfie of you two. I want to see how she looks like, okay?” my sister insisted.

“I will! Thanks, Mary! Love you!” I told her.

“Love you too, babe!” Mary responded and hung up.

I felt much better after this conversation. I love my whole family but I think I love Mary a little bit more and I think she knows. I would not know what to do without her. With my heart feeling warm and fuzzy, I decided to read one of my Harry Potter books. I loved all the characters but especially Hermione Granger. I adore how smart and strong she is. I feel that way about Mary too. She graduated high school with a 4.0 GPA and is already very successful in College. She is self-confident, gentle, caring and kind. Sometimes I imagine to be one of those characters like in the Harry Potter books and then I get lost reading and lose track of time. Every time I have to face reality again I feel sad. I need this escape. Sometimes I wish I could run away from my secret but I can’t. Sammy discovered it quickly and I think Mary knows but I am not sure. When she comes home for the Thanksgiving break I need to tell her. I need to spill my beans but I am not sure how. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

“Who is it?’ I asked.

“It’s me” my dad said quietly. “Can I come in?” he asked me.

“Sure” I said a little hesitantly. The door opened and he slowly walked in.

“Listen, Randy. I wanted to apologize to you. I was not trying to be mean. I just hope you will make more friends. I know the last year at school wasn’t easy for you.” he said calmly.

“Thanks, dad. I know. I talked to Mary about it.” I told him.

“Okay, son. So, is everything okay?” he asked me.

“Yes, dad. Thanks for apologizing.” I said truthfully.

“You are welcome!” he answered and seemed a bit lost. I could see it in his eyes that he often doesn’t know how to talk about feelings. He closed the door and went back downstairs. I usually dread going back to school. Not because of the academics. I do well with that usually but the social interactions are tough. I never feel I fit in with any group or anybody. However, I was very much looking forward to math class tomorrow. I took a shower, brushed my teeth and drifted off to sleep lost in thought.

The alarm woke me up at six o’clock sharp. I yawned and slowly tried to wake up. I could hear breakfast noises downstairs in the kitchen. My mom works part time at a real estate firm and gets up early too. On the days, she is off, she takes good care of the house and everything else. I went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and combed my hair a bit. It is shoulder length and I like it that way. Even though dad always bugs me about getting a haircut. I went back to my room, picked out my clothes (jeans & sweatshirt) and got dressed. The thought that I would love to have a few dresses and skirts occurred to me (like every morning) but then I quickly moved on. I walked downstairs and saw mom in the kitchen cooking eggs and bacon.

“Good Morning! That smells yummy, mom.” I told her.

“Good Morning, honey. Have a seat and try some of these delicious eggs and bacon” my mom replied.

“Sure, thanks!” I said grabbing a chair. My mom is a great cook. She can whip up a five-star meal with little ingredients and time. She put a nice portion on my plate and I was excited to try it. I took a first bite and it tasted delicious.

“Mom, that is fantastic. Thank you!” I complimented her.

“Thanks, honey. So, are you looking forward to math class today?” my mom asked me with a big grin on her face.

“Well, yes!” I admitted. I could not wait.

“I hope you and Sammy will become friends. Just be yourself!” my mom assured me. Myself? Who was that person?

“I will do my best.” I told her.

“Great. Mary texted me that you two had a good talk last night.” she mentioned. “Listen, I am sorry about last night. Your dad did not want to hurt your feelings. I discussed the matter with him. He just hopes this school year will be better for you.” my mom remarked.

“I understand, mom. I just felt very hurt but I know he means well.” I said. I had to get ready for school. “Mom, I need to finish up.” I urged her and got ready to leave.

“Sure, honey. Please make sure to give me Sammy’s home phone number so I can call her parents and introduce myself and ask permission for her to come here.” my mom requested.

“I will ask Sammy and text you the number during my lunch and then you can call them.” I assured her.

“Okay, honey. Have a nice day!” she called.

“Thanks mom, I will” I yelled while grabbing my backpack and running out the door.

I made my way to the bus stop with a little bit of time to spare. It was slowly getting colder in New Hampshire so I wore my jacket, gloves and a hat. A few other students were standing there and I joined them. Quick nods were exchanged but nobody wanted to talk. I noticed two girls standing there right away. One of the girls was blonde and she had shoulder length hair. She wore a purple and black winter coat, purple sweater, black skirt and black tights. The other girl had long brunette hair. She wore a black winter coat, a pink sweater, a black skirt and black tights. I loved their outfits. I pictured myself in them and started day dreaming again. Then Sammy popped in my head and I had to smile. The bus arrived and everybody got on.

I took my seat in the middle next to a boy named Danny who is kind of a nerd. We sometimes talk but today nobody seemed to be in the mood for chit-chat. I was more occupied with Sammy anyways. The bus made its way through our small town. I looked at the trees, the little coffee shop named “Claire’s Café” where my sister sometimes takes me to for a hot chocolate, the cozy little grocery store which is owned by a nice old man named Al, past the theater that shows great plays and many other places that are so familiar to me. It seemed that most people were still asleep and I envied them a bit. The bus ride was over soon and we had to get back in the cold.

I walked into the building and went straight to my locker. I emptied part of my backpack and started to get ready for the day. Next, I found myself a seat in the commons area and settled a bit. I observed the other students walking by. I especially looked at the girls and their outfits. I felt admiration but also a bit envious. The bell rang and I had to go to my English class. The teacher, Miss Roberts was strict and you got into trouble if you were late. I settled in my seat and got out my homework. Class went by quickly. Sammy occupied my mind the whole time of course. Next was biology class, which I did not care for. After that I had a study hall and then it was finally time for math class. When I walked in, Sammy was already there.

She walked up to me and said: “Hi Randy, how are you?”.

“Great!” I responded with a big smile on my face.

“Can we sit together at lunch? I need to ask you a few things about Saturday.” she wanted to know.

“Absolutely!” I replied beaming with happiness. I noticed some weird looks from my classmates but they seemed to be occupied again with other things quickly. During class, I looked at Sammy as much as I could without looking suspicious. After math, I had geography class and after that it was time for lunch. I hurried through the big halls of Sanford Junior High to the cafeteria. When I entered the cafeteria, I felt excited but also nervous. I got my food, settled down at my usual spot and kept looking for Sammy. Suddenly, she was standing next to me with her tray in her hand.

“Mind if I sit down?” she asked me.

“Absolutely!” I responded.

“I usually sit with my friends over there.” she said pointing at three other girls who waved at us. They all seemed very pretty, even from far. “But today I like to sit with you. So, our date still stands for Saturday?” she asked me, smiling.

“Yes, of course. My mom wanted your parents phone number so she can ask permission for you to come to my house on Saturday. Is that okay?” I inquired.

“Not a problem. Wait, I will text it to you.” Sammy said while getting out her phone. She texted me the number and then I texted it to my mom.

“I am very excited you are coming over. My secret is still safe with you, right?” I asked while I lowered my voice.

“No worries, I will not tell a soul.” she assured me, gently putting her hand on my arm. “You seem like a nice person and the whole pantyhose thing makes you interesting.” she told me.

“Let’s talk in detail about this on Saturday. Will we have privacy in your room or will your mom insist on leaving the door open?” Sammy asked me cautiously.

“I think we can probably close it most of the way. I will talk to my mom.” I responded.

“Great, can’t wait! Listen, lunch is almost over. Got to go. Text or call me later.” Sammy said in her bubbly and delightful way and left my table.

The rest of the school day went by in a flash. I came home with a big smile on my face. The bus stop was near my house. I almost skipped down our street. I used my key to open the door. I entered an empty house. My mom must have gone to the store. I know my dad was working late again. I had the house to myself. I found a note on the fridge that said: Dinner in here. That must mean mom will be home later.

Sure enough I received a text from her that read: Honey, I have to work late again. So does your dad. Supper is in the fridge. Heat it up in the microwave. I talked to Sammy’s mom. They are coming over at 2 PM on Saturday. Love you!

They? Is her mom coming too? Or both of her parents? I panicked. I texted my mom back and then I texted Sammy. I wrote: I heard you are coming on Saturday at 2. Will your mom and dad come as well?

She replied: No silly! My mom will drop me off, introduce herself and then it is all us. I was relieved but also nervous to meet her mom.

I threw myself on the couch and started reading a book but I could not focus. Sammy occupied my mind. I also thought about Mary a lot. What was she doing at this moment? I might send her a text later. Tomorrow was only Friday. I had to get through another day of school. What would I wear for my date and what will we discuss?

Fortunately, Friday went by quickly. During math class Sammy and I briefly talked and the rest of the day I could not focus. I came home from school and settled in my room. I wanted to get my homework out of the way which was hard because Saturday was on my mind. I got it done and then played a computer game. After a while, my mom called me down announcing that we will go out for pizza. I was excited. I loved Enrico’s pizza.

I put on a nice sweater, went downstairs and saw my parents both sitting in the living room. “Hi Randy!” they both said.

“Hi mom and dad! Are we going out soon?” I asked.

“In a bit, we wanted to talk to you about Saturday first.” my mom said. Oh no! They both looked very serious. Will I get a lecture now?

“Listen Randy, Sammy seems very nice but I don’t want you to get your hopes up too much. She might not want to be your girlfriend.” my mom said in a serious voice.” I was not sure what to say.

“Mom, it’s not like that. I just want to be her friend. Nothing more.” I insisted.

“I understand, honey. I was just trying to prepare you for that in case it happens. However, I want you to enjoy this time with her. Okay?” my mom asked me cautiously.

“Sure. Can we go eat now?” I asked sounding a little annoyed.

“Yes” both of my parents responded at the same time.

We got in the car and started driving through our little town. It was past 5 PM and already getting dark. I loved this time of the year. Soon it will be Christmas and my big sister will be home. I was very sad and upset when she left for College. Especially, because she studies on the other side of the country. Oregon was far away. However, I will be glad she is coming home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Even though it was expensive and time consuming. My parents and I wanted her home for both holidays and she gladly agreed. Mary has been my first role model. She is successful with school, she has a lot of friends and she is a kind and caring person. Lost in my thoughts, we pulled into the parking lot of Enrico’s. I was hungry and ready to eat.

We were seated right away and settled in. A waiter gave us menus and asked what we wanted to drink. I ordered an unsweetened iced tea and my parents both order wine. After the waiter left, my dad smiled at me and said: “How was your week at school?”.

“Not bad! I did well on the last biology exam, even though I don’t like the class that much.”. I told him.

“That is wonderful. Good job, Randy!” he said beaming with pride. My mom also smiled. The waiter came back taking our orders. I ordered my favorite pizza. Sausage and pepperoni.

When he left again, my mom said: “I spoke to Mary this morning! She took a side job as a waitress at a local restaurant. That means her time for studying will be even less but I am sure she will manage.” my mom said convincingly. I am sure she will manage I thought. She can manage anything.

“Did she say anything else?” I asked curiously.

“Her studies are going well and she is excited to be coming home for Thanksgiving to see us soon.” my mom replied. “Oh, and she said she will text you tonight.” my mom added.

“Great!” I said enthusiastically. The pizza arrived and we started eating. It was delicious as always. While eating, I had to think about revealing my secret to Mary and discussing it with Sammy. It made me feel uneasy. I can sense that Mary already knows but then again, I am not sure. Nobody knows me better than Mary though. The real challenge will be discussing it with mom and dad. My stomach turned into a knot which I tried to ignore. We finished our meals and got ourselves ready to leave.

My mom walked behind me and gently touched my shoulders. “Everything okay, honey?” she asked me. “You seem a bit sad there suddenly” she seemed to notice.

“I am fine, mom” I lied to her as we walked out. Our drive home was quick and event less. I went into my room, put on some comfortable clothes and settled into the living room with a good book. My dad was watching a football game and my mom was doing something in the kitchen. After a while of reading, my cell phone text alert beeped and I saw it was Mary. The text read: “Time for a chat?”. Yes! Of course, I thought. I replied and excused myself to my room.

A minute later the phone rang and Mary said: “How is my babe?”

“I am good. We just had dinner at Enrico’s. Now I am lounging at home. Mom told me about your new job. When will you start?” I asked her.

“Not until next week. I am a little nervous because I have never worked as a waitress before. It probably will be overwhelming.” she said sharing her thoughts.

“I bet you will do very well. I am so proud of you!” I told her. Hearing this, she laughed gently.

“Thanks, babe! More importantly, are you ready for your big day tomorrow?” she inquired and I bet I could sense her smile over there in Oregon.

“As ready as can be. I just will try to be myself and have a good time. However, but I am still nervous. I hope Sammy will like me.” I expressed to Mary.

“She would be a fool not to. You are a very sweet person. Anyways, I got to go soon. I am going to a little party some of my friends here organized.” she told me. I felt a little jealous hearing this. Will there be boys? Probably. Will they hit on my Mary? Most likely. She is the prettiest girl I know.

“Mary, I just wanted to thank you for treating me like an equal even though I am eight years younger than you. You show so much respect and caring for me. That is why I love you so much!” I told her getting a little teary.

“Oh, babe. I love you too and of course I respect you and care about you. You are my only bro..ther. Now, have a nice time tomorrow and don’t forget to send me that selfie with the two of you, okay?” she requested.

“I will. Good night, sis! Love you!” I said yawning a bit.

“Good night, babe. Love you too!” she said gently and hung up.

After getting a shower, brushing my teeth and putting on my pajamas I started drifting off to sleep. One of my last thoughts was about that hesitation in Mary’s voice when she said the word brother. I noticed that the last few times. I think she knows.

I woke up at 7 the next morning. Without an alarm. I was very excited about my date with Sammy. Soon she would be here. I went to the bathroom and then back into my room. I sat down in the nice armchair right next to my window. It was still dark and I enjoyed the silence. I usually do this on a Saturday or Sunday morning. I like to be alone with my thoughts. I missed Mary a lot this year. We were never separated this long. When she was still in high school she had a busy social life but she always had time for me. I miss going out to Claire’s Café with her or just sitting in her room and playing a board game or chess. She taught me a lot about chess. I always beat dad but I can never beat her. We text and call quite often but my heart ached right now. Where are you, big sister? Then I thought about Sammy again which lightened my mood. I went down to the kitchen where I tried to find some breakfast.

I opened the fridge. I took out a strawberry yogurt cup, grabbed myself a spoon and started eating. What will happen today? I am probably overthinking it. So, I decided to just let it happen. I went back upstairs and decided to get dressed, read a book and relax for a bit. I lost myself in a book and at 8:30 I heard my parents getting up. My mom is off work and my dad will go on some errands but probably will work from his home office. Mary was probably still asleep. It was only 5:30 in Oregon. A little bit later, I went downstairs again. My mom was eating breakfast.

“Good Morning, sweetie. Did you sleep well?” she asked me.

“Yes! Thanks mom. So what will you do today?” I wanted to know.
“Well, I will do some cleaning and probably catching up on my reading. Your dad is out to get salt. They said it might snow later. They were not sure how much, though.” my mom told me.

“Oh, and I will get some snacks and drinks ready for you and your friend, if that is acceptable?” she added.

“Thanks, mom! Can Sammy and I have some privacy today? We wanted to discuss some personal matters and I was hoping we could be, you know, private.” I said cautiously.

My mom nodded slowly and said: “I know I can trust you. That would be fine. Just don’t completely close the door, please.” she requested.

“Of course, mom. Thank you. It means a lot.” I said thankfully.

“Well, why don’t you read or watch some TV until your guest arrives. I will work on the house a bit.” my mom declared in a determined manner.

I nodded and went back to my room. I lost myself in a book again. Finally it was getting close to two o’clock. My phones texting noise beeped. It was from Sammy.

It read: We will be there in five minutes. See you soon.

My heart jumped a bit. I went downstairs again. My parents were both sitting on the couch reading. The doorbell rang and my mom opened it. Standing outside were Sammy and her mom. Both looked very fashionable. I could see snow flurries outside.

“Please, come in. It is so nice to meet you.” my mom said.

“You too, Mrs. Tyler.” Sammy’s mom replied.

“Call me Cathy.” my mom offered.

“Oh, sure. Only if you call me Andrea.” Sammy’s mom offered also.

“Great. Well, Andrea. This is my husband Steve.” my mom said pointing to my dad who was standing in the living room, now walking towards Sammy’s mom and shaking her hand.

“A real pleasure” my dad said to her smiling. “And this must be Sammy!” he said pointing towards her daughter.

“Yes. And over there that must be Randy!” Sammy’s mom said looking at me. I walked over to her and shook her hand smiling.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?” my mom offered.

“Oh, thank you so much. But I have to leave again soon. I have to run a few errands. I will pick up Sammy at 6 again if that is okay?” she asked.

“Sounds great.” my mom answered. “I am sure we can sit and talk another time” my mom suggested.

“Absolutely. That would be great. Now Sammy, have a good time with your new friend. I will see you at 6.” Sammy’s mom told her.

For a moment, all the adults were standing in the living room, smiling at us. Sammy and I seemed unsure about what to do. Sammy’s mom then left. I noticed Sammy was wearing a backpack. Her outfit was stunning. She was wearing a light pinkish sweater, a black skirt, black patterned tights and matching shoes. I also noticed her perfume which smelled like roses.

“Can I show you my room?” I asked Sammy and my mom. My mom gave me a quick nod and Sammy replied:

“Of course, that would be great! We both walked up the stairs and entered my room.

“I love your house. Your mom has good taste.” she noticed.

“Thank you! That is very true.” I replied. Sammy took her coat off, sat her backpack down and we settled on the floor next to my bed, sitting right across from one another. The door was mostly closed.

“So, Randy. How long have you known?” she asked me with a gentle look on her face. I felt overwhelmed but not scared. I looked at her kind eyes for a few seconds and then said:

“My whole life. As far back as I can think.” I said thoughtfully. Sammy’s eyes smiled at me and then she started talking again.

“Does anybody else, besides me, know?” she asked.

“Yes, I think my big sister Mary knows but I am not sure. I want to talk to her when she comes home for Thanksgiving. She goes to College in Oregon.”

“Was your sister a senior last year? I think I have heard of her. Wasn’t she the goalie for the girls’ varsity soccer team?” Sammy inquired.

“That’s her.” I said, beaming with pride. “We are both very close.” I added.

“Wow, that’s great. The reason why I wanted to get to know you more was the look you had in your eyes when you were holding the pair of pantyhose. You seemed to have a longing desire and like I said before, you seem kind of girlish. Also, you have kind eyes and I like that.” Sammy told me.

I was not sure what to say. “Thank you. I think we could be good friends.” I expressed to her.
“Agreed. Do you want to look at some girlie magazines and check out some outfits? I love to study things about fashion and I could probably tell you what would look good on you. Would you like to?” she asked me full of anticipation.

This made me feel very excited. I nodded and she opened her backpack and got out a few issues of Cosmopolitan and Glamour. We both lied down on the floor and started giggling. Sammy pointed out different combinations of clothing and accessories and I loved every minute. Her pantyhosed leg settled next to mine and I could feel her warmth. This made me feel funny. In a good way. I did not want this to end. We went through more pages while giggling. Suddenly, Sammy stopped and looked at me intently.

“You know, I have never seen you so open and funny like you are now. You are not cautious anymore. I like that.” Sammy told me. “There is a cute, self-confident girl inside of you.” she added.

I felt stunned. Sammy was right. I looked at her intently. Her warm eyes made me feel so comfortable.

“Thanks, Sammy. I agree. I feel overwhelmed right now.” I told her. Sammy turned towards me and gave me a hug. We embraced, which felt nice. This was, besides my sister, the first girl that ever hugged me.

“What do you want to do now?” Sammy wanted to know.

“We could watch a movie or a show down in the living room.” I suggested.

“Great idea” Sammy said cheerfully.

For a second I thought about watching Gilmore Girls with her but that was mine and Mary’s favorite show. I would feel a little like a traitor if I watch it with Sammy.

“Let’s see what we can find on Netflix or on our DVD shelf” I said. We both went downstairs and went straight to the living room. When I looked out the window I noticed a lot of snow coming down quickly. Sammy noticed it too and we both were taken by surprise. My mom just walked in from the kitchen and gave us a confused look. She probably was wondering what we were staring at. Then she noticed the snow and let out a loud “Oh my goodness!”

“Sammy, we should better call your mom to pick you up. This does not look good.” my mom urged.

Sammy nodded and I started feeling sad. It was only 4 but I understood that if she stayed until 6 she might be stuck here. Sammy took out her cell phone and texted her mom. Her mom replied in an instant and told her that some roads were not passable anymore. Sammy’s mom asked her to ask my mom if she can stay overnight. My heart made a jump and excitement grew again.

“I have nothing to change into” Sammy said rather shocked.

“Oh, that is not a problem. We will give you some of Mary’s old clothes to wear. It might be a little big but should do the job. You can sleep in her bed, too.” my mom said.

“Oh, okay. Thank you! Yeah, I guess that will work.” Sammy said a little hesitantly.

“Then that’s settled. We will eat dinner in about an hour. Why don’t you guys go upstairs and play a game or something until I will call you back down.” my mom asked us.

We both nodded and went back upstairs. I started feeling a little upset. I did not want Sammy to sleep in Mary’s bed. Mary was my sister and not hers. I liked Sammy a lot but I just got to know her. It felt too personal to me.

“Sammy, would you mind sleeping in my bed and I will sleep in my sister’s bed instead?” I asked, realizing that I sounded kind of rude.

“Okay, but why can’t I sleep in your sister’s bed?” Sammy asked me sounding a bit annoyed now.

“Because I just don’t want you to.” I said a little too strong.

“What is with you now?” Sammy asked looking confused.

“Well, I am not sure.” I admitted feeling soft again. “I just get very protective of her and her things.” I added. “I am sorry” I said quietly.

“That is okay. I can tell you two are very close.” Sammy realized.

I nodded. “Let’s go to my room and talk a bit.” I suggested. Sammy nodded. The good spirits between us seemed kind of gone now. We settled in my room again and looked at each other intently. To break the ice, I started talking again.

“Yes, Mary and I are very close. Ever since she has gone to Oregon for College I have been missing her like crazy. I had to think a lot about the things we have been doing together. Playing board games, watching movies and shows, being silly, tickling each other, going to Claire’s Café, seeing plays at the theater, building a snowman, snuggling, hugging, talking and so much more.” I almost whispered.

“But with all those wonderful things, I often picture myself being her baby sister.” I whispered, tears coming down my face.

Sammy moved closer to me and climbed on my lap and hugged me. She held me tight, then looked at me intently and gave me a soft kiss on the lips. It was the most amazing thing I ever experienced. My first kiss from a girl. I felt light headed and warm and fuzzy. I looked at her and kissed her back. We hugged again and feeling her so close to me was wonderful. She sat next to me again and started talking.

“Kissing a girl felt amazing. Oh, I almost forgot. I have a gift for you.” Sammy announced.

I must have looked rather stunned. “What is it?’ I asked impatiently.

Sammy opened her backpack and took out two pairs of pantyhose. One was nude, one was black. I was speechless. I gave her another hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Thank you very much!” I said beaming.

“My pleasure. When will you try them on? Omg! You are going to need your first outfit. When you come to my house, you can try some stuff on. We are about the same size.” Sammy decided.

“Really? That is a wonderful idea. Thank you so much. Now, I will put the pantyhose in my closet and bring them back when I come to your house.” I decided.

Sammy nodded in agreement. The next thing I realized was that I started feeling hungry. However, I remembered something else.

“Can we take a selfie of us, so we have a memory of this day?” I asked her. Sammy smiled and nodded.

We both took out our phones and took several selfies. On some of them we were smiling, making silly faces and on one Sammy gave me a kiss on the cheek. That one was my favorite. We decided to go downstairs just in time for supper. My mom made pot roast. The perfect meal for this cold and snowy kind of day. My mom gave Sammy some toiletries, a t-shirt and pajama bottoms from Mary and we settled in for the night. I got over the fact that Sammy will sleep in Mary’s bed. What a great day this was. I can’t wait to tell Mary everything tomorrow. I finally drifted off to sleep, feeling happy.

The next morning the snow stopped. The plows were working overtime to clear the roads. Sammy and I had a nice breakfast downstairs with my parents and then Sammy’s mom picked her up at 9. We hugged, said good-bye and then Sammy left. Her mom thanked my mom more than once. When they were gone, my mom took me aside and started asking me questions.

“Honey, can I talk to you in private for a few minutes in the living room?” my mom asked me with a serious look on her face.

I was alarmed. “Okay.” I said rather hesitantly. My mom pointed to a chair in the living room. I sat down and she looked at me intensively for a few seconds.

“What did you and Samantha do and talk about the whole time?” she asked me. I did not like the concerned tone in her voice.

“Well, we talked about school stuff and looked at some girlie fashion magazine. That was a lot of fun.” I said brightening up a bit. The moment I looked at my mom’s face I realized I made a mistake.

“You had fun looking at girlie fashion magazines?” my mom asked me seeming confused.

“Well,….yes!” I said feeling a little braver.

“Okay. How much do you like Samantha? I mean do you like her more than a friend?” she inquired.

“Well, possibly. I am just getting to know her.” I said truthfully.

“Listen, honey. I don’t want to quiz you here for a long time but I am just curious about a few things. You are about to hit puberty and there might be a lot of confusion regarding a lot of issues like girls, boys, love and friendship.” my mom said rambling a bit.

Oh mom, I have never been so clear about anything in my life about wanting to be a girl I thought. I will tell you but not right now.

“May I be excused?” I asked politely but also a little more determined.

My mom sighed and nodded. I left the room feeling a little more confident. I entered my room, closed the door and sat on my bed. How will I tell her? I think I am going to need Mary for help but maybe I should do this alone. Mary always helps me but sometimes I feel I probably should not rely on her this much. Wait a minute! I still need to tell her about my date. I almost forgot. I got my phone out and texted her.

“Hi sis, can I call you?” I texted her. A minute later my phone rang. I picked it up excitedly.

“Hey babe, how was your date?” she asked me with a sweet tone in her voice.

“It was very good. Sammy is a lot of fun. We looked at girlie fashion magazines and giggled a lot.” I said proudly.

“Aw, you two are cute. Did you smooch her?” she asked urgently.

“Well, yes! My first kiss was amazing. I wanted it to go on forever.” I said dreamily. I did not feel like mentioning the little fight Sammy and I had about her sleeping in Mary’s bed.

“I am glad to hear that, babe,” my big sister said. “I am looking forward to coming home soon and spending some time with you. I want to take you to Claire’s Café. Would you like that?” she asked as if she wasn’t sure.

“Are you kidding? A date with my big sis? What is better than that?” I asked cheerfully.

“Then that is set. Listen, babe. I got to go. I will talk to you soon. I love you!” Mary declared.

“Love you too” I said making kissing noises.

I made myself comfortable in bed my heart feeling full of love. I decided to read a book and consider all the things that happened. I read for hours until my mom called me down for supper.

“What’s for dinner?” I inquired.

“Spaghetti and meat balls” my mom told me.

“Love it!” I said excitedly and started setting the table.

A few minutes later dad joined us and we sat down and had supper together. My mom is such a good cook. I always admired that about her.

“How was your date with Sammy, Randy?” my dad wanted to know.

“It was fun. I enjoyed it a lot.” I said a little cautiously.

“Well, that is wonderful. I am glad to hear that. Will you guys hang out more?” he asked me.

“Yes. Most likely.” I responded a little more enthusiastically.

“Randy, I am glad you made a new friend.” my dad smiled at me.

“Thank you!” I responded sincerely.

This short conversation with my dad made me feel better about things but it also made me anxious. How will my dad react when I will tell him that I am a girl and therefore his daughter? Those and similar thoughts were going through my mind when I was sitting in my bed after supper. I took my pantyhose out of my closet and looked at it full of questions and doubt. I loved the silky feel when I put it on. I remembered when I put my first pair on. It was a pair of black sheer hose which I took out of my mom’s closet. I stole it and was not proud of it. I was not sure what force drove me to my parents’ bedroom. I just couldn’t resist. I took the hose to my room and carefully put it on. What a joy this was. I felt tickled on the inside. When I was younger I wore tights which my mom bought for me all the time. I loved to run around in them. When I become older my mom stopped buying them for me. Even as a child I noticed the silky pantyhose the women always wore and felt curious about it. I felt guilty for taking my mom’s hose but the payoff was fantastic. Ever since then I was addicted. I started feeling sleepy when I heard my phone’s texting noise.

“Hey Randy, how are you?” Sammy texted me.

“I am good. A little sleepy. How about you?” I texted back.

“Great. Listen. Would you like to come to my house this weekend? Three of my girlfriends are coming over and we want to just hang out and talk. Would you be interested?” Sammy asked me.

I was excited but waited a few minutes with my response.

“Sure. I have to ask my mom first but it should be okay.” I responded.

“Fantastic. We can chat tomorrow at school.” Sammy texted back.

“Okay Sammy. Good night.” I told her.

This was exciting news but I also felt nervous meeting her friends. I got myself ready for bed and fell asleep fast.

The next morning came fast and I was on my way to school. Sammy and I had brief exchanges at lunch and I met some of her friends a little bit. I was still nervous but meeting them relaxed me.

The rest of the week went by fast also with a lot of school work and many other distractions. Whenever I found some alone time, I liked to hide in my room and put my pantyhose on. I just loved the silky feeling when I slid them over my legs. I sometimes put on one of Mary’s old skirts which I stole out of a bag with some of her old clothes that was destined to be donated to Goodwill. The skirt was black and simple and about knee length. I loved it! I wore it as often as
I could whenever I was by myself. However, my mind was more occupied with my next get together with Sammy and her friends. I got my parents’ permission and Saturday was about to arrive.

I woke up early on Saturday. I considered what I should be wearing. I was thinking about how nice a closet full of skirts and dresses would be and felt quite disappointed when I looked at my closet. I picked a pair of jeans and a nice sweater. My mom would take me to Sammy’s house at one o’ clock. While I only briefly met Sammy’s friends, I felt unsure what to think about them. They seem nice but I decided to be a bit cautious. I went downstairs to find something to eat.

“Good morning, mom’ I said when entering the kitchen.

“Good morning, Randy.” my mom replied with a smile.

“Are you excited about going over to Sammy’s?” she asked me.

“Absolutely. I am sure I will have a good time.” I told her.

“Oh, I am sure about that too. Just be yourself. In other news, I wanted to ask you if you were planning to going to the airport with dad to pick up Mary on Wednesday?” she inquired.

“Yes. Nobody can stop me. I have been missing her a lot. I can’t wait to hug my big sister again.” I said my voice full of determination.

“Aw, your big sister. Your first love!” my mom teased me a bit.

I started blushing. To change the subject, I inquired about breakfast. My mom offered to make scrambled eggs and fried potatoes. I loved the idea. I helped set the table and soon we were ready to eat. The rest of the morning was not very eventful. I read a book, helped my mom with some tasks and tried to get myself ready. Soon my mom and I would get in the car and drive over to Sammy’s place. I wished I would wear a skirt or a dress and pantyhose. I wanted to feel feminine like Sammy and her friends.

Eventually we got in the car and drove to Sammy’s house. The drive was rather short. However, I still enjoyed the winter wonderland outside. The snow reflected the sun light almost blindingly and the trees who were completely leafless looked a little majestic in the distance. I was impressed by this beautiful view but I preferred summer. I closed my eyes and saw my sister Mary and myself running on a beautiful meadow. We were both wearing cute summer dresses. We were giggling and laughing a lot. Two girls, two sisters having fun and feeling love for one another. A bit later I woke up from my day dream and looked at mom. She and I only chit chatted a little. I felt nervous but also excited.

“Listen honey, I want you to have fun today. If you need to be picked up early just text or give me a call.” mom said sounding a little concerned.

“Sure mom. I will be fine.” trying to reassure her and myself.

Soon, mom parked in the driveway. I opened the car door, looked at my mom one more time, waved at her and walked towards the front door.

I rang the doorbell and Sammy opened it rather quickly. She smiled at me, gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“Hi Randy, thanks for coming.” Sammy said excitedly.

“Thanks for inviting me.” I replied happily.

The excitement was rising but so was the nervousness. Sammy waved me in. I followed her into the living room of her house. The house looked very nice, neat and stylishly decorated. The ceilings were high and the living room had large windows which let a lot of light in. It all seemed very friendly. The living room had a big cozy looking sectional, a big wooden coffee table and a flat screen TV that was mounted on the wall. Sammy asked me to sit in the sectional with her. We settled down and started talking.

“So, Randy, my friends Kaylee, Michelle and Hannah will arrive in a bit. They are nice girls. I think you will like them. I told them a little bit about you. They are excited about meeting you. You will fit right in” Sammy reassured me.

“That is great. I am also looking forward to meeting them. What will we do today?” I asked her.

“Nothing special. We will hang out in my room, chit chat, and do other girlie things.” Sammy said smiling at me.

Other girlie things I repeated to myself. Does that mean I will be a part of that? While I was considering some fun girlie time ahead I grew more excited. I really hoped they will accept me. But on the other hand, another thought crossed my mind. Would it be tragic if they don’t? I suddenly felt a little bit more self-confident. This surprised me. If they don’t accept me for who I am then they don’t deserve to be my friends. I just had to smile.

“Well, doing girlie things with you guys sounds like fun. I can’t wait.” I told Sammy. At that moment, her mom walked in.

“Hi Randy, I am so glad you could come to spend time with Sammy and the other girls. I will order pizza for you gals, if that is okay?” Sammy’s mom asked both of us.

We both nodded. Did she just call Sammy, her friends and me “you gals”? That tickled me on the inside.

“Thank you for your hospitality.” I said towards Sammy’s mom.

“Oh, not a problem. You are so polite, Randy. I love having you over.” Sammy’s mom said happily.

“Thank you.” I responded. At that moment, the doorbell rang.

“Those are probably my friends. Just stay here for now. I will let them in and introduce you.” Sammy said eagerly.

She left the living room and a minute later I heard a lot of excited giggling and greeting one another. My heart was beating faster. Another minute later they all walked into the living room.

“Ladies, this is my friend Randy. Randy, these are Kaylee, Michelle and Hannah.

They all smiled at me and said: “Hi Randy!” at the same time.

I smiled back and quietly said: “Hi”.

Kaylee had blonde, short hair, blue eyes and a beautiful smile. She was wearing a red sweater and cute looking jeans. Michelle had long, dark hair, brown eyes and wore a turquoise top and girlie jeans. Hannah had long blonde hair, blue eyes and luscious lips. She had kind eyes and I thought she was the prettiest of the three. Hannah wore a green sweater, some brown skirt and brownish looking tights.
“Let’s go upstairs, ladies!” Sammy suggested. She took my right hand and Hannah grabbed my left hand while smiling at me. That surprised me and it also made me feel good. Once we arrived in Sammy’s room we settled on her bed and on the floor. Sammy’s room looked great. It had a skylight, a big comfortable looking bed, a huge book shelf with lots of different books, a desk with a computer on it, a reading corner with a lot of pillows right next to the window. I loved it.

“So, how did you two become friends?” Hannah asked me and Sammy, smiling.

“Randy and I ran into each other at Macy’s. We are in the same math class but never really talked. I saw how Randy was…oh wait! I forgot something. I need to talk to Randy alone. Why don’t you ladies talk among yourselves and we will return in a few minutes.” Sammy told them.

The girls looked a bit confused but quickly started chatting. When Sammy was talking about how we met my heart stated racing. She gave me a look that said: follow me. I followed her out of the room and into another room. Sammy took my hand and sat down with me on a couch which was in a room that seemed to be her mom’s office. She still held my hand and seemed concerned.

“Listen, Randy. I want to apologize to you. I totally forgot to talk to you about our encounter in the pantyhose section. We need to discuss how we want to go about this. Do you want to tell them the truth?” Sammy asked me with a curious and concerned look on her face.

“I am not sure. If I tell them the truth, how will they react?” I asked while I felt a knot in my stomach.

“I know my friends well. I think they will get over it. However, I can’t promise that they will keep it a secret. They can be very chatty.” my friend warned me.

“To be honest, I am kind of tired of secrets. I will tell them.” I said trying to sound determined.

“Good choice, Randy. I am proud of you.” Sammie assured me, squeezing my hand.

She leaned over and gave me a little kiss on the cheek. I nodded. We both went back into the room. The girls were chatting with one another. I was not sure how to feel but I needed to do this. Hannah stopped talking to Kaylee and looked at me. A few seconds later, everyone was looking at me in a curious fashion.

“The reason why Sammy and I left the room was because we needed to talk about how to tell you the exact circumstances of Sammy and I becoming friends. We were both at Macy’s and I was looking at some pantyhose when she recognized me.” I said bravely.

“Why were you looking at pantyhose?” Hannah asked me with a nonjudgmental voice which I was thankful for.

“I looked at them because I like to wear them.” I stated boldly. I was surprised and a little shocked that I was not afraid.

All three of Sammie’s friends looked aghast. There was silence in the room. I just had to smile. I don’t remember ever having that effect on a room of people.

“What do you like about them?” Kaylee asked me.

“I love the soft silky feeling on my legs. It gives me a rush and makes me feel feminine.” I proclaimed.

“So, you want to be a girl?” Michelle asked me. She was mostly silent until now.

“Yes. That is correct.” I replied.

“Wow, that is weird!” Michelle stated.

All the other girls, including Sammy gave Michelle a surprised and intense look.

“I don’t think it is weird at all. If this is how you feel, then I think you deserve respect for that. Maybe we can help you become a girl. I sensed your sensitive and sweet nature right away.” Hannah said warmly.

“But Hannah, he is a boy! He was born a boy! He can never be one of us!” Michelle said a little forcefully.

“Shut up, Michelle. If he feels like he really is a girl, then he is a girl. End of story. I support you!” Kaylee said looking at me.

“Me too!” Sammy and Hannah said at the same time.

I felt relieved to get all this support. What Michelle thought I did not care much about.

“You guys are crazy! This is gross.” Michelle yelled.

“I think it would be better if you leave now. I cannot tolerate this intolerance. You should think about your beliefs a little bit.” Sammy stated.

“Fine. I am so out of here. Maybe you should think about what reality is. Disgusting!” Michelle said with an angry voice and stomped out the door.

The atmosphere was rather weird now. After a moment of silence, Sammy came up to me and gave me a hug. Right after that Hannah and Kaylee followed and we all hugged. I felt so loved. Now a few more people knew my secret and it felt like I could breathe more.

“What should we do now?” Hannah asked.

“How about some girlie things?” I replied.

Everyone looked at one another and we all smiled.

“OMG! I almost forgot. Randy needs to try on his first outfit. This is going to be so much fun. Let’s look at my closet and decide what he…I mean she should wear. What do you think girls?” Sammy asked excitedly.

All the ladies, including me, started giggling.

“That sounds good to me. Maybe I should try on a dress?” I asked them.

“Great idea! How about something black with black sheer pantyhose?” Hannah suggested.

“Wait, what about your mom? What if she comes in?” Kaylee asked Sammy.

“Well, maybe one of us can stand guard?” Hannah suggested.

Sammy and Kaylee looked at her with a smile.

“Alright, I will do it. But I want to join the fun too!” Hannah demanded.

“Don’t worry. We let you have a piece of this.” Sammy assured her.

In this moment, we heard Sammy’s mom yell, asking Sammy to come downstairs immediately. It did not sound very friendly. Sammy rolled her eyes and excused herself.

“So, why don’t you try on this black dress with some pantyhose?” Hannah asked me while taking a short black dress out of Sammie’s closet

“That looks nice. Good idea. Can I change in front of you?” I asked cautiously.

Hannah and Kaylee both nodded. I took my boy clothes off while Hannah and Kaylee both grinned. Once I was down to my underwear Hannah handed me a pair of black sheer to waist pantyhose out of Sammy’s underwear drawer. I put the pantyhose on while the girls watched me intently. After that was done, they assisted me with the dress. They both took my hands and led me to the mirror. I was shocked how feminine I looked. Hannah and Kaylee both seemed astonished.

“You look like a real girl. Amazing.” Hannah said.

“Yes. Very pretty!” Kaylee added.

“Thank you, ladies.” I replied blushing a bit.

They both hugged me and Hannah took my hand again and gave me a big smile. She then leaned over and whispered in my ear: “You are very cute!”

I was shocked because I did not expect that. I just nodded and smiled. A moment later, Sammy came back into the room. She looked at me and seemed stunned.

“I am speechless. You are so beautiful. What a pretty girl” Sammy said proudly.

“Isn’t she!” Kaylee added quickly.

“What should we do now?” I asked them. They all smiled.

“Why don’t we look at some fashion magazines and talk.” Kaylee suggested. All of us nodded in agreement.

“Randy, you should probably take the dress and hose off. My mom might come up here soon and bring us snacks.” Sammy warned me.

I felt disappointed and nodded. I took the dress and pantyhose off and put my boy clothes back on. I joined the girls in Sammie’s reading corner and we started talking.

“Why did your mom call you down? Michelle?” Hannah asked.

“Yes. She inquired why Michelle wanted to be picked up early and I said that we had a difference of opinion. My mom suggested that we should all play nice and be good friends. I didn’t explain it any further. However, I think I should tell her the truth eventually. Is that okay,

Randy?” Sammy asked seeming a bit concerned.

I sighed and slowly nodded.

“I am planning on telling my sister Mary when she comes home from College. Then I am going to have to tell my parents which will be tricky.”

“You have been very brave telling us. I think you will be okay. We will give you help and support. Don’t worry about Michelle. She will calm down eventually.” Hannah assured me and squeezed my hand. I felt overwhelmed again by all this love and support.

“We need a girl name for you! What do you think would be a good name?” Sammy asked.

I thought about it for some time.

“How about Riley?” I suggested.

All the girls nodded in agreement and smiled.

“Welcome to our group, Riley” Hannah said in a festive manner.

We all hugged and giggled. We watched some silly TV and blabbed for a while. Sammie’s mom came in to bring us snacks and wanted to know what kind of pizza wanted for dinner. We all agreed on cheese and pepperoni and soon we were sitting in the kitchen having supper. It was so much fun to sit with these girls and just have a good time. I also really liked Hannah. She was a very warm and wonderful person and very cute. Dinner went by quickly and soon my mom would come to pick me up. I was sad that this great day was about to end but happy to feel so accepted and part of the group. Michelle’s comments hurt but I admired how the other girls stood up to her. Once in the car, my mom asked me about the day.

“Did you have a nice day, honey?” my mom asked me.

“I did! We had a lot of fun.” I told her.

“That is great. Are those other girls as cute as Sammy?” my mom teased me a bit.

I blushed.

“Kind of. They are all very nice!” I said forgetting about Michelle.

“That is good. Now I think it is great you are making a bunch of new friends. However, your dad and I are a little concerned you don’t seem to be making any male friends. Do you know why that is?” my mom inquired.

This started to feel a little like an interrogation.

“I am not sure.” I said quietly.

“Don’t you want any male friends?”

“I don’t know mom! I am friends with these girls and that should be good enough.” I replied feeling a little angry.

“Why are you getting testy? I just asked you a question.” my mom said sounding angry as well.

“Mom, you and dad have been pestering me about making new friends for a while. Now that I have new friends it still isn’t good enough. How can I please you?” I wanted to know.

“Calm down. I was just curious.” my mom stated sounding a little calmer.

“Okay.” I responded quietly.

We didn’t talk the rest of the drive. I went right into my room and threw myself on the bed. When I remembered this great day, my anger disappeared. I had to call my big sister.

I just had to smile when I was thinking about this wonderful day. Of course, Michelle was annoying and she made rude comments. However, this didn’t bother me much and that was kind of surprising to me. I feel that I have been gaining confidence now that I know my girl name and now that there are some people who know the person I have been hiding inside of me. It felt really liberating. I know that soon I have to tell mom and dad. The thought made me cringe but I know it will feel liberating too. My next thought was about Mary. I wanted to call her and tell her everything but decided against it. I need to tell her in person. Soon I will have my big sister back and this made my heart jump a bit. I decided to pick up the phone and call her anyways. I just loved hearing her voice.

“Hey babe” Mary said when she picked up.

“Hi big sis. How are you?” I inquired.

“Tired. But happy. What have you been up to?” she asked while yawning.

“Oh, I had fun with my new friends. They are nice girls. We had an enjoyable time at Sammy’s house.” I said excitedly.

“That is great. We will discuss in detail when I am home. Oh, I wanted to tell you I emailed mom and dad my flight information. I will be arriving in Boston on Wednesday around noon. I am leaving Portland at 12:05 AM and fly to Dallas, Texas. I have a two-hour layover and will then continue to Boston. The airline is American. I will be very tired but happy I have my family back. Who is coming to the airport?” she asked me curiously.

“Dad and I will drive to Boston and pick you up. I can’t wait to give you a big hug.” I said getting a little teary.

“Me too, babe. Me too.” Mary said excitedly.

“Okay. I gotta go. I need to get everything ready. I am sure we will text a few more times before we finally see each other again. Love you, babe.” Mary said making little kissing noises.

“Good night, love.” I said while also making kissing noises. I hung up the phone. I felt happy inside. I changed into my pajamas, settled into bed and thought about Mary, Sammy and my great new friends. And I thought about being Riley and what that means. Soon I drifted off to sleep.

The next few days went by in a flash. I thought about Mary a lot and I hung out with Sammy and my new friends at school. The girls were wonderful. Tuesday was the last day at school. My mood was getting better and better. During supper on Tuesday evening my parents and I talked about picking up Mary.

“So, Randy are you ready to pick up your big sister tomorrow?” dad asked me a little teasingly as if there was any doubt.

“Oh yes. I can’t wait to have my sister back.” I said excitedly.

“That’s great. The weather is supposed to be ok tomorrow. We should leave by 8 AM. Would you like to go and stop for breakfast on the way?” dad suggested.

“That sounds good. I would like a nice omlette or pancakes.” I answered.

“You can have whatever you want.” dad assured me.

“Great. I will get up early and then we can get Mary home.” I insisted

“Alright, partner. But leave some of her for your mom and me.” dad said jokingly.

“I will think about it.” I said with a smile.

Mom was in and out of the dining room and started cleaning up. I offered to help but she insisted I go to bed early so I can be ready for tomorrow. I threw myself in the shower, went to bed and drifted off to sleep.

My alarm went off at 6:30 AM. I woke up with a big smile on my face and almost jumped out of bed. I got dressed and walked downstairs to the kitchen for some tea and a yogurt. Mom and dad were already having breakfast.

“Good morning, darling” mom said with a smile.

“Good morning!” I replied and joined them at the kitchen table.

“Are you ready to bring your big sister home?” dad asked me with a smile.

“Dad, do I really have to answer that question?” I asked him, smiling myself.

“Well, I guess not. Have some light breakfast and then we will get going. We can stop at about halfway at a Diner before we reach Logan Airport. Mary texted us her anticipated arrival time in Dallas, which will be shortly.” Dad explained.

“Okay, dad. I will get some things to take with me and then I am ready.” I told him.

“Don’t forget your winter coat, gloves and a hat. It is rather chilly out there.” Mom reminded me.

“Alright, mom. I will go upstairs after I finish my yogurt.” I stated.

I finished my light breakfast and went upstairs to grab a book and my cell phone. I doubted I would be able to focus on reading but I decided to take it anyways. I went back downstairs and put my winter coat, gloves and hat on. Dad was already in the garage waiting for me. I gave mum a hug and a kiss and got in the car. Dad and I took off into the morning and towards Boston. We drove down the familiar streets of our town. I observed the buildings, shops and stores, cafes and people walking on the sidewalks. Soon we reached the Interstate and the car was going much faster.

Dad and I didn’t really talk much yet. I think we were both tired but also full of anticipation. It felt weird but also great. Soon I would hug and kiss my Mary and the world will be right again. I watched the landscape go by and got lost in my thoughts. After a while, dad decided to get off the interstate to stop at a Diner called Amy’s. He parked the car and we went inside. The place was very busy but we only had to wait about ten minutes to get a booth. We settled in and ordered some drinks.

“How do you feel, buddy?” dad asked me. I always cringed when he called me buddy or partner. Nobody calls girls buddies or partners.

“Great and a little impatient. I just can’t wait to see my big sister.” I said smiling.

“I know. So how was your day at Sammy’s house the other day. Mom told me you had a good time?” dad inquired.

“I did. I met Sammy’s friends and they were really nice. We had so much fun.” I said proudly.

“That is great. Listen, mom told me about your little argument in the car. She did not want to attack you. She just wanted to voice some concerns. She felt bad the night she picked you up from Sammy’s place.” Dad said with a slight concern in his voice.

“It’s okay. I was mad because I felt attacked. I told mum that I am just happy to make new friends. Regardless of their gender. I feel a little intimidated by boys. They like to rough house and act cool all the time. This is not my world.” I said confidently

Dad had a surprised look on his face. He seemed a bit confused and then slowly nodded. I looked him deep in the eyes and I was not sure what to read from them. However, I believe that I could sense he showed respect which I never experienced from him towards me. I know that he loves me but this was something else and it felt great. I nodded back and we ended our conversation and focused on our breakfast. Soon we got ready to go and were back in the car. The sun was steadily rising on this cold November morning. Mary texted dad that she was about to board the flight in Dallas. In a few hours, I will have my big sister back. Oh joy!

I felt tired and excited at the same time the rest of the drive. I watched the landscape go by and saw the signs that showed Boston was near. Soon I saw planes in the sky and the street signs told me that the airport was close. We took the exit that said Logan International Airport. I watched the planes getting ready to land and paid attention to what airlines they represented. I saw Air Canada, Lufthansa, British Airways and American Airlines. Mary would arrive in one of those.

My heart was beating faster and the suspense was killing me. We still had about two hours until American Airlines 0450 from Dallas would arrive. After parking the car, we walked into this massive building. Dad suggested to settle into a Starbucks for coffee and hot chocolate until Mary’s arrival time was near. We found a table and enjoyed our drinks. Time seemed to crawl. I tried to read my book but it didn’t work. I constantly looked at the screen just outside of Starbucks and tried to find Mary’s flight. I decided to go to the book store to buy a magazine. Then the time finally came. Dad suggested we should go downstairs to the baggage claim area and wait for my big sister there. I jumped up and almost ran there. We arrived at baggage claim and I kept checking the screens for Mary’s flight. On the other side of baggage claim were several escalators where passengers were coming down from their flights.

I kept watching the screens and the escalators. There were a lot of people coming and I was worried that I would miss her. I looked at the screen again and it said that American Airlines 0450 out of Dallas arrived. My heart jumped again. I focused on the escalators but no sign of Mary. Dad was standing behind me and he put his hands on my shoulders to calm me down. It worked a little bit. Then I saw her. She came down the escalator and our eyes met. I saw Mary’s face lighting up and I am sure so was mine. I smiled. Almost laughed. Feelings of joy were overcoming my body. My legs started moving. Everything happened in slow motion. I ran to Mary. Nobody could stop me. Mary was almost at the end of the escalator and also started running. My eyes filled with tears. I was almost there. She screamed the word “babe”. I yelled “Mary” and we embraced each other. She scooped me up and gave me a big kiss on the lips. She was also crying. She then held both of my hands and kissed my entire face. I was the happiest person on earth.

She then let me down again without letting go of my hands. Dad was there too and gave her a big hug and a kiss.

“How was your flight?” dad asked her.

“It was good. I am very tired but happy I got my family back.” Mary said smiling

“Well then let’s get your suitcase and let me take you two love birds home.” dad said seeming amused.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Mary agreed.

While we waited for her suitcase, Mary and I kept holding hands and hugging. We were both out of breath but just happy. Dad spotted her suitcase on the baggage carousel. He scooped it up and started rolling it to the exit for the parking lot. Mary had a backpack on her shoulders and her purse. We walked behind dad and started talking. I asked her about College and her classes. She loved College and felt that Oregon was a great fit for her. We finally arrived at the car, put her suitcase and backpack in and we both settled in the back so we could hold hands some more.

I saw dad smile to himself. Mary whispered in my ear that she wants to hear everything about my time with Sammy and her friends when we were home and had some privacy. I nodded and promised her I will do so. We both smiled at each other. Once we were on the Interstate, we all started talking about Thanksgiving and we all started to remember past family holidays. We laughed, joked and had fun. I was a little sad mom was not there to enjoy this with us but I was so happy my big sister was sitting right next to me.

After we were driving for a while, everybody seemed tired and therefore the talking stopped. Mary fell asleep after her long flight. Her head leaned on my shoulder while she was sleeping. I gently touched her hair and face and whispered: Get some nice rest, big sis. Soon we will be home. Dad seemed tired too and it was slowly getting dark. I felt so happy and loved in this very moment. My best friend, mentor and role model was finally with me again. I have been feeling more and more confident since I met Sammy and her friends. I felt I was already part of the group, even though I have only met them once. The car slowed down and our home town was near. We left the interstate and now it was only about twelve more miles. Mary started waking up. She smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

“Let’s talk after supper in my room.” Mary whispered in my ear.

I nodded. Mary smiled and soon dad pulled into our driveway. We unloaded the car as mom came almost running out the door hugging and kissing Mary. My family was complete. We all went inside and took our winter clothes off. We all settled in the living room. Mary and I on the big sofa, holding hands.

“It feels so good to see you two together again. My sweet babies” mom said smiling.

“They could not let go of one another when they were reunited at the airport.” Dad said also smiling.

Mary and I looked at one another and burst out laughing.

“Aren’t you two adorable. Soon we can eat. I have chicken in the oven and there will be macaroni and cheese” mom told us.

“Great. I am hungry. I hope that all of us can sit together later tonight and talk. I have a lot to tell you. However, after supper Randy and I want a private sibling conference in my room.” Mary said a little mysteriously.

Mom and dad looked at one another and then at us. Both nodded.

“I am not surprised. You two always had some secrets. Can I bring you desert up? We have chocolate cheesecake.” Mom said enthusiastically.

“I am fine with that.” I said looking at mom. Mary nodded too.

“Great. Why don’t you guys wash your hands and help set the table. Mary, you can put your laundry in the basket downstairs. I will take care of that later. I made your bed. Your room is ready to go.” Mom stated.

“Thanks, mom. You are the best.” Mary said thankfully. She gave mom a hug and a kiss.

“Come on, babe. Let’s set the table.” Mary insisted while smiling at me.

I followed her willingly. She started taking out plates while I got the silverware and salad bowls ready. I also set up hot plates for the food while Mary filled cups with ice tea for everybody. The whole time during this important procedure, we could not stop smiling at one another. We finished setting the table while mom and dad got the food ready. Finally, we all sat down and started eating. Mary seemed a bit recovered from her long trip. Everybody started talking at once. Mary told us all about her classes. She loved it in Oregon. She made a lot of new friends, enjoys the library, likes most of her classes and professors, loves the cafes and book stores and went to the beach several times even though it was chilly in October.

After supper, we cleaned up together and Mary and I looked at each other knowingly.

“Mom, Randy and I will take our cheesecake and go to my room.” Mary said to my mom.

“Okay you guys. Please come back down in about an hour. We want to discuss tomorrow and maybe play cards or board games.” Mom told us.

We both nodded and went upstairs with our plates. I started shaking a little bit because I was nervous. We closed the door, set our plates on a table and looked at each other intently. Then Mary came over, gave me a big hug and whispered in my ear: I love you, baby sis.”

For a moment, I was shocked. I was shaking more. She let go of me and I whispered the words: How long have you known?

“I’ve known for a long time, babe. The last few months we have been talking on the phone just strengthened my belief that you are a girl. Meeting Sammy and her friends really opened you up and I could sense your feelings. Seeing you at the airport confirmed that I was correct. I always wondered if we will have this conversation. If this day will ever come. Now it is here. I was afraid of this day but I also hoped for it. I want to encourage you to be you. Whoever you want to be. You are a wonderful person with a big heart. I will always be your sister.” Mary said getting teary.

I started crying. We hugged again and then settled on Mary’s couch holding hands.

“You are the most important person in my life. I love you with all of my heart. I don’t know what I would do without you. You are my role model. You are such a strong person. I always admired your courage and bravery. You know what you want and you go for it. And you are kind hearted and sweet.” I told Mary.

We hugged again and then started eating our cheesecake. After a while Mary started talking again.

“We have to tell mom and dad.” Mary said with determination.

While I agreed with her, I was not sure what to say. I started feeling uncomfortable.

“This might not be easy.” I told her.

Mary nodded.

“You are right, babe. From now on it will get very hard for you. Are you ready for that?” she inquired.

“I think so.” I answered cautiously.

“Babe, this will be a tough journey. You need to be aware of that. You will have a lot of support from me and I feel confident that mom and dad will come around. Dad might be a tough nut to crack. However, some people will question you, challenge you or even attack you. You have a sweet and gentle heart but you also need to grow toughness so you can defend yourself.” Mary insisted.

“Well, there already was a situation like this.” I told her.

“Why? What happened?” Mary asked.

“My friend Sammy knows. When I met her friends the first time, Sammy and I decided to confess that I am a girl. All the other girls offered support except Michelle. Michelle was freaked out and shouted some insults at me. I brushed it off and the other girls jumped in and defended me.” I confessed to Mary.

Mary looked at me in shock.

“That is just incredible. Oh, my god, babe. I am so proud of you. I did notice that you seemed more self-confident on the phone in the last few weeks and I can tell now for sure.” Mary said with admiration.

I was beaming with pride hearing that from my big sister. We hugged again.

“Oh, the girls and I decided on a girl name for me. It’s Riley.” I told her.

“That is so cool. I like it.” Mary replied.

“What do we do now?” I asked my big sister, wondering what the future might bring.

“We need to think about a strategy how to tell mom and dad. This needs some preparation and we need to tell them soon. You are going to need hormonal therapy before you really hit puberty and eventually you will get surgery to change your gender. I am sure you will also get therapy so that they can really be sure that you are a girl.” Mary explained.

I was a little stunned Mary knew so much about this. I also felt uncomfortable by the prospect of surgery. This thought did not occur to me but seemed plausible.

“Riley, is this what you want?” Mary asked me looking very serious.

I looked her deep in the eyes and nodded.

“Then that is settled. When do you think are you going to tell mom and dad? Do you want me to be there with you?” Mary inquired.

“I was thinking when we are off school for Christmas and yes, I want you to be there. As support. I will try to tell them what I feel deep inside of me and that I am Riley and not Randy. I hope they will still love me.” I said a little emotionally.

“Of course, they will. They will always love you, babe. They most likely will need time to adjust. We are a strong family.” Mary said very convincingly.

I nodded and smiled.

“So, how did you and Sammy become friends? And tell me everything about those girls. I am very curious.” Mary asked me.

“Well, Sammy is in the same math class but we never really talked. We ran into one another at Macy’s in the pantyhose section. I looked at them because I love to wear them.” I confessed.

Mary seemed a little shocked.

“Was that embarrassing for you?” Mary asked me curiously.

“Yes. I felt caught but Sammy said I should not worry. She will not tell anyone. We had a nice talk and after that we hung out a bit. She came over here and we had a good time.” I told Mary.

“What did you guys do when Sammy was here?” Mary wanted to know.

“Well, just girlie stuff.” I said blushing a bit.

“And?” Mary asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, we kissed a bit.” I confessed.
“
Wohoo!” Mary yelled out. “Was it nice?” she asked further.

“Yes. I loved it.” I said truthfully.

“So, do you like girls or boys or both? Is it okay if I ask that?” Mary inquired.

“I am not sure. Maybe both. I have not thought about boys that much yet.” I explained.

“Very interesting. You will have time to figure that out. Don’t rush that.” Mary advised me.

“And what did you guys do when you were at Sammy’s house with those other girls?” Mary inquired.

“Well, we played dress up. I tried a black dress with a pair of black sheer pantyhose.” I said truthfully.

“Well, how did you look? I bet you looked cute.” Mary said excitedly.

However, you didn't tell me yet how the other girls reacted when you told them.” she asked sounding concerned all of the sudden.

“Well, they were cool with it” I said hesitating a bit.

“How do you know that you can trust them?” Mary asked seeming very concerned.

“Well, they are Sammy’s friends. She took me aside and asked if we want to tell them. She was convinced that it will be fine.” I said feeling hesitant and insecure.

“Like I told you, Michelle started freaking out when I told them that I want to be a girl. She seemed disgusted but Sammy and her friends defended me which made Michelle angry and so she left.” I said feeling a bit upset.

“It’s okay, babe. I just want to protect you.” Mary assured me giving me a hug.

I nodded and Mary suggested we should go downstairs like mom and dad wanted us. We hugged and kissed and went downstairs again. Mom and dad were sitting in the living room, watching TV and talking. They both looked at us at the same time and smiled.

“Ah, the two love birds are back. Are you done with secret sharing for now?” dad asked us.

We both looked at each other and nodded.

“Join us. We just started discussing tomorrow. We will have the traditional Thanksgiving dinner of course and I will assign both of you little jobs to do. We also need to talk about Friday. Would you two like to go out or would you rather stay here?” mom asked us.

“I am not sure. I would like to do a little shopping but mostly spend time with my babe. I want to take Ril…I mean Randy to Clair’s Café for a hot chocolate.” Mary said seeming a bit nervous.

Mom and dad looked at each other for a second and then dad spoke.

“Well, I am glad you two are reunited. But we want to spend time with both of you as well. Maybe we could go see a movie as a family?” dad inquired.

Mary, mom and I nodded and so we agreed to watch a movie on Friday night. We settled into the living room and mom suggested to play Apples to Apples. We all had a lot of fun. I loved these family moments. During a break, I looked out the window and saw the bright moon and stars. It was a clear and chilly night and I hoped everybody would have a nice family time like I was experiencing it at this very moment. I wondered what Sammy was up to. So, I decided to text her. Sammy told me she was excited about my text and that she wanted to get together with me on Friday. I told her that Mary and I wanted to go to Claire’s café. She asked if she could join which Mary had no problem with. On the contrary, Mary seemed eager to get to know Sammy.

A very exciting and emotional day was coming to an end. I fell asleep feeling happy and loved.
I woke up late on Thanksgiving morning. I got dressed and walked downstairs into the kitchen. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table having breakfast.

“Good morning, honey!” mom greeted me.

“Morning, mom!” I answered yawning.

“How do you feel?” mom asked me.

“Great. I am happy my big sis is back. I am also glad to be on break from school.” I told her.

“That’s good. Mary is still sleeping. She is exhausted from her trip. I am so proud of her. She has been working so hard in College. I am also proud of you because you are making new friends.” Mom said smiling.

“Thanks mom! I can’t wait to introduce Mary to Sammy.” I said excitedly.

“Wonderful. I am sure you guys will have a good time. Why don’t you get a light breakfast and then I will give you some jobs to do so we can get ready for our nice Thanksgiving dinner.” Mom said.

I nodded and got myself a yogurt and a banana. After my quick breakfast, I asked mom for instructions. She told me to work on making mashed potatoes when we get closer to dinner time and to set the table in a nice and appealing way.

Mary got up around noon. I was sitting in the living room, reading a book, when she came down the stairs.

“Hey big sis! Did you sleep nice?” I asked her.

“Oh yes. That felt good. How is my babe?” she wanted to know.

“Excellent.” I answered.

Do you want to watch some TV?” she suggested.

“Sure. What do you have in mind?” I asked her, but already knowing the answer.

“Gilmore Girls?” she said with a big smile on her face.

I smiled and nodded. We got the Netflix on our TV ready and made ourselves comfortable on the big couch. We snuggled together under a blanket and started watching the show. We have been watching this together for a while and enjoyed some bonding time. I felt so happy and comfortable cuddling with my big sis. We watched two episodes until mom came into the living room and asked us to start helping with the big Thanksgiving dinner. We both got to work right away.

After we helped prepare and cook all day, it was finally supper time. The meal was delicious and I felt so thankful for my wonderful family. Everybody was talking excitedly and had an enjoyable time. I looked at my parents and I wondered how they will react when I will tell them that I am a girl. After dinner and cleaning up, we settled in the living room. Mary and I were snuggling under the blanket and soon I fell asleep with my head on her lap. The next thing I remember was that I woke up in my own bed.

The beginning part 9 – Confessions

At first, I felt unsure how I got in my bed. Then some faint memory came back where I remembered Mary taking me by the hand and tucking me into bed. I looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was only five after seven. I recalled last night’s events which made me smile. Warm and fuzzy feelings overcame my body while thinking about reuniting with my best friend, my sister Mary. Being aware that she has always known that I am a girl made me feel ticklish inside. We are sisters and always will be.

I looked out the window and saw the first gleam of sunshine breaking through the clouds. The day after Thanksgiving was here.I am glad that we had a great Thanksgiving day. It is one of my favorite holidays. Thanksgiving is all about family goodness. At least in my family. I know that there are other families out there who are dealing with high stress during any holiday or event. Not my family! My parents always made sure that our family events were low key and that everyone treated each other with respect.

I walked out of my room and entered the upstairs hallway of our beautiful house. Everything was still mostly dark but enough light was coming through the windows so that I could see where I was walking. I walked slowly and careful not to make any noises because I did not want to wake up my other family members. I went downstairs into the kitchen and started looking for breakfast items. While I rummaged through the kitchen cabinet looking for a plate and a mug, I wondered what will happen today. I set myself up in the dining room with breakfast and enjoyed the calmness of my house. The sun was definitely out now. It was going to be a beautiful but cold day.

After I finished breakfast I heard someone coming down the stairs. I got excited because it was my big sister.

“Good morning, babe”, she said yawning while smiling at me. She was wearing a cute pink t-shirt and some very snug black shorts. I admired her beautiful body for a second.

"Good morning, Mary," I said while smiling at her. Mary smiled right back at me and we hugged for about a minute. Finally, we let go

"We have to discuss our plans for the next few days.” Mary said.

“Yes, we have lots of things to do. Tomorrow I would like us to go to Claire’s Café. Sammy wants to meet us there. She is very excited about meeting you.” I told my sister enthusiastically.

“So am I. You can’t stop talking about her since you two became close friends," Mary said with a smile on her face.

We looked at each other for a few seconds and then Mary grew an even bigger smile.

“So, you know what is not fair? I have not seen you dressed as the true you. In order to correct this error, I have a great idea. Come with me to my room.” Mary said while suddenly taking my hand rather forcefully.

She giggled while she almost dragged me upstairs. We entered her room and Mary lead me to her bed. I loved being in her room because it is very girly but it also had a vibe of a strong woman.

“This will just take a minute. You are going to love this.” Mary insisted.

I did not know what to expect but still felt the excitement growing inside of me. I had a hunch about what we were going to do because I saw Mary rummaging through her closet. She started taking out clothes. She piled up some of them on the bed. Then she separated them into different piles. Each pile had a top, skirt, pantyhose or tights or a dress or jeans and a top. I observed what she was doing with astonishment. Then she grabbed what seemed like an old pair of panties and a training bra. She held them up with a devilish smile.
"Get naked, sis!" Mary almost ordered me.

I must have looked a little pale but of course, did what I was told. I could feel butterflies in my stomach. Mary handed over the panties and the bra and turned half-heartedly around. She still could see everything. I stripped naked and put on the panties first. They were cute pink lace panties and considering the fact that Mary wore those probably often made me almost faint. I felt even closer to my sister if that was possible at all. Mary's smile grew even wider.

Mary turned around to help me with the training bra. She handed me a cute black floral skirt, black sheer pantyhose, and a pinkish top. I put it on with Mary’s help and a huge smile on my face. Once I had everything on and Mary straightened my new clothes, she took my hand and lead me to the mirror. I looked at my true self and was astonished. So was Mary. We both smiled, giggled and hugged.

"Oh, babe. You look so pretty. You truly are my sister. I can see why you like pantyhose. It looks really good on you.” Mary said proudly.

“Yes. I love the outfit and the pantyhose feels fabulous. I love the smooth silky feel. I think I want to wear them all the time.” I said while giggling.

“Now I think I want to try the blue pretty dress you selected. Should I wear pantyhose with that one?” I asked her.

“You can. I think nude pantyhose would go well with that. I think I have some.” Mary said while looking through her underwear drawer.

She handed me a pair and I put it on together with the dress. Mary helped me zipping it. She took my hand again and lead me to the mirror.
"You look so stunning," Mary said her voice sounding proud and amazed at the same time.

I felt the same way. I walked around a bit and pretended to be on the stage like a supermodel. I blew her kisses and it was great to see Mary's reaction. She was so excited and genuinely happy for me. When I walked towards her again, her face all of a sudden became serious, almost a bit shocked looking towards the door. I turned around and saw mom standing there.

“What on earth are you two doing?” my mom asked with a firm voice. She stood there with an open mouth.

I was under shock. Time seemed to stand still. My brain was working very slowly. I could not reply and I assumed Mary felt the same way.

“Can I get an answer to my question?” mom asked us rather forcefully.

I had trouble breathing. I realized that Mary and I must have forgotten to close the door and that we giggled too often without thinking that our parent’s bedroom is not far away.

“Well, mom. Mary and I were trying on clothes and….” I started saying but mom interrupted me right away.

“Why are you in that dress? Why do you look like a girl, Randy?” my mom said rather strongly. Her voice sounded a bit hysterical now.

"Because I am a girl," I replied gaining my strength back.

My brain started working normally again. I was able to have clear thoughts. Now, mom looked like she was in shock.

“Her name is Riley and she is my sister. It is true mom and I have known for a long time. Riley and I had an important conversation yesterday and I will give her my full support. We wanted to discuss this with you around Christmas time but it looks like the secret is out now.” Mary said rather forcefully herself while walking towards me and putting an arm around my hip, pulling me close.

“You kids must have gone nuts. This is insanity.” Mom almost yelled looking at both of us in disbelief.

“Why the heck is everyone screaming? What is the meaning of this?” my dad said in a grumpy and annoyed sounding voice when he walked over to us.

“See for yourself. Randy is a girl now. He or should I say she has been trying on dresses with Mary.” Mom pointed at us while looking like she was close to tears.

Mary was holding me even tighter. She looked like a lion, ready to defend her cub.

“Dad, Randy is actually my sister Riley. She has always been a girl. I know that this must sound strange to you but this is the way it is. We should all sit down later this afternoon and discuss this.” Mary suggested sounding with.

All of a sudden, I heard a strange noise. It was my mom who burst into tears and started crying hard. I did not know what to say or do.
“But…..I have a baby boy. Randy! Don’t do this to me. I need my son to be my son. This can’t be happening…” mom rambled on. She seemed close to hysteria when dad interrupted.

“Everybody calm down. I will take your mom downstairs. Randy, get out of the dress and go to your room. I will bring you something to drink and snack in a bit. I want to see you both in an hour in the living room, properly dressed. We will have lots to discuss.” Dad said firmly but calmly.

I looked at Mary who started crying now too. I hugged her and then went to my room. I took off my dress but kept on my pantyhose and panties. Dad and mom were on their way downstairs. I did not know what to think. I took off my dress but kept on my pantyhose and panties I threw myself into my bed and started crying uncontrollably. After a while, I calmed down a bit.

Suddenly there was a knock on my door. Dad entered the room with some cookies and an iced tea in his hand.

“Are you okay?” dad asked me.

"I am not sure," I answered truthfully.

“Here are some snacks and an iced tea. I will see you downstairs in about forty minutes. Please wear your normal clothes.” Dad said and left without another word.

I reluctantly took off my pantyhose and panties. I put on a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweater. It made me sad because I felt so comfortable in that dress. I felt like myself. I ate the cookies and drank the iced tea. I wondered what Mary was doing right now. I decided to read a book and stay a bit distracted that way. After a while dad called Mary and me to come downstairs.

I left my room and once I was in the hallway I saw Mary coming out of her room. We both hugged strongly. I could see that Mary must have been crying a lot.

“We will get through this. You are strong, sis.” Mary whispered in my ear. She took my hand and we walked slowly downstairs.

When I entered the living room, I saw mom and dad sitting next to each other. They both looked like they cried a lot. Mary and I both sat down next to each other. Mary started holding my hand.

“Now could you two please explain why you were trying on dresses?” dad asked us.

“Well, like Mary told mom, we wanted to tell you the news around Christmas time. I am a girl. I have always felt that way. Making friends with Samantha made me feel more comfortable and it helped me to express myself fully.” I said softly but with some determination in my voice.

“Oh, this Samantha girl told you to express yourself. This is just silly. You are not a girl. She was just using you for her own entertainment.” Mom tried to point out.

“What? Samantha is a great friend. She helped me be me. She did not use me.” I said feeling my blood pressure rising.

“Riley is right. Samantha is a good friend. She has been so much more self-confident since they met. I have always known that I have a baby sister.” Mary said convincingly.

“Nonsense. You two have been watching too much Gilmore Girls. Randy is a boy. End of story.” dad said.

Mary and I stared at each other in disbelief. Mary took my hand. She grabbed my mom’s car keys and our jackets and yelled: “We are out of here.”

We ran outside to the driveway. We got into the car and Mary backed out rather quickly as soon as I had my seat belt own. We took off and left my house behind us. I did not know what to think but felt safe because my own personal hero was driving this car to an unknown destination.

Mary drove rather fast. She definitely did not obey the speed limit. I did not care much. I just wanted to escape. The car went up and down over hills. I took in the beautiful countryside while the sun was fully up by now. This was not going according to our plan. Finally Mary spoke while we were leaving our town.

“Where do you want to go?” she asked me.

“I am not sure. Just far away.” I replied.

“Okay. I suggest we go to the next town and find a restaurant to get something to eat. Then we will figure something out and talk strategy.” Mary said sadly.

I squeezed her hand and nodded. Soon enough we found a diner. Mary pulled into the parking lot and stopped the car. She turned the engine off. We looked at each other and were both unsure of what to say. I decided to speak first.

“We could go to Sammy, but I didn't grab my smart phone. I can’t text her. I am not sure if I remember where her house was since I have only been there once.” I pointed out.

Mary looked at me thoughtfully. Then she suddenly started smiling.

“I have an idea. I could ask my friend Alyssa if we can hang out with her. She is home from College too. She is fun to hang out with and the three of us could have some girl time. I would like to tell her the exciting news about my “new” sister. Presumed that you are okay with it?” Mary asked me, getting excited.

“That sounds great. I do remember Alyssa when you and her hang out at our house when you were both in high school. She never really paid attention to me though.” I said.

“That is because you were just a little boy.” Mary said squeezing my hand.

“How will that solve our problem with mom and dad though?” I asked.

“I am not sure. We need a bit distance first. Alyssa might have some advice Sometimes it is good to talk to someone from the outside.” Mary suggested.

I nodded and smiled a bit.

“Anyways, I will text Alyssa and ask if she is available. Fortunately, I put my smart phone in my pocket before I went downstairs.” Mary said while reaching for her pocket.

“Oh my, there are eight messages from mom and dad.” Mary said sounding worried.

“Well, what do they say?” I asked with growing concern.

“Let’s see. It says: We are sorry if we were too harsh. Please don’t run away from us. We want to talk it over in a reasonable manner. We love you both. Please let us know about your whereabouts and that you are safe. Love, Mom & Dad.” Mary read to me.

She started looking more relaxed. I felt the same way.

“That’s good. At least they are not mad that we escaped.” I mentioned.

“Agreed. So, let me text Alyssa. And if she agrees to meet and spend some of the day with us, we will tell mom and dad what we are doing today and that we are safe. Okay?” Mary inquired.

I nodded. Alyssa agreed to meet and hang out. She said her parents are gone all day. We can do whatever we want. I was excited about the prospect of having another friend and ally. Mary texted mom and dad what we were up to. After we ate breakfast at the lovely diner, we made our way to Alyssa’s house. Her house was a beautiful old brick style house. Mary and her greeted each other at the front porch warmly with a hug.

“Hey girl, how have you been? Alyssa wanted to know.

“I am ok. This morning was a bit rough though. I have to give you details.” Mary told her.

“Alright. We can talk about anything you want. Hi Randy . I haven’t seen you in a while. How are you?” Alyssa asked me.

“Actually, Alyssa. Let me introduce to you my baby sister. This is Riley.”, Mary said warmly.

Alyssa stood there with an open mouth and wide eyes. She slowly nodded and then smiled. She walked over and then gave me a big hug and a little kiss on the cheek.

“It is nice to meet you, Riley. You are safe here.” she whispered in my ear.

I couldn't help myself but smile. Looks like I possibly found a new friend and ally. I can use any support in the world.

“Why don’t you two lovely girls come with me upstairs to my room. Looks like we have lots to discuss.” Alyssa said while smiling at me.

We followed her upstairs. I took note of the house. Walking up the staircase I noticed there were lot’s of family pictures on the wall. There were also neat decorations everywhere. The house had a warm and friendly feel to it.

We entered Alyssa's bedroom and got comfortable on her bed. I admired her room. She had a beautiful bed, a giant closet and a desk full of fashion magazines and a sewing machine. I was impressed.

“What’s going on with you two and Riley when did you discover that you are, well, Riley?”

“It’s a long story. Mary and I will give you details. What basically happened is that one of my classmates from school saw me looking at the pantyhose section at Macy’s. Her name was Sammy. I briefly knew her from math class. She promised to keep my secret and we became friends. She encouraged me to be the real me. Mary and I got a bit carried away when we were trying on dresses this morning. We left the door open and our parents discovered that I a m Riley. We had a discussion in the living room an hour later which quickly escalated and ended with Mary and me leaving.” I summarized for Alyssa.

Alyssa was in awe. Her facial expression changed several times when I told her what happened. What didn’t change was a wicked little grin I started noticing.

“So, Riley. You like pantyhose? Huh?” Alyssa asked me her grin getting bigger.

I nodded. I looked at her and at Mary and both had a big smile on their faces.

“I think we have to finish your little fashion show. This time it will not be interrupted. My parents won’t be home until tonight. What do you think?” Alyssa asked me and Mary and we both said yes at the same time.

What happened next was something so wonderful I could not have imagined it in my wildest dreams. Mary and Alyssa made me try on all kinds of outfits. I felt so included. I was one of the girls. We laughed, giggled and acted silly. It was fantastic. I felt a ticklish sensation in my stomach the entire time. After a while we all fell on the bed and took a break. I was in the middle and I ended up with my head in Alyssa's lap and my pantyhosed legs on Mary’s legs who gently rubbed my feet. I felt so comfortable and relaxed. It was amazing. I was wearing a schoolgirl style skirt, black pantyhose and a cute pink top.

Alyssa massaged my head a little bit. I admired her beauty. Not just her looks but also her character. She had this confidence, curiosity and kindness which I hoped to have one day myself.

“What should we do now?” I asked enjoying the snuggles.

“Well, I am kind of hungry.” Mary said.

“Me too. We should go to the mall. The worst of the black Friday shoppers will be gone by now. We could go to one of the nicer restaurants.” Alyssa suggested.

“That is a good idea. But you two are wearing nice clothes. I am only wearing jeans and sweatshirt.” Mary said.

“You can borrow some of my clothes. Take what you want.” Alyssa offered.

Mary nodded and started going through Alyssa’s closet. I observed Mary looking for a good outfit until something dawned on me.

“Wait a minute. You want me to go out dressed like this?” I asked looking at both of them.

They both nodded.

“With your shoulder length hair, you look just like a girl.” Alyssa said.

I must have looked worried. Both girls came up to me and hugged me.

“Don’t worry, Riley. It will be fun and we will protect you.” both assured me.

Slowly I started to smile. Thinking about going out in public dressed as a girl with my sister and her cool friend was getting me excited. The adventure potential seemed endless.

“Let’s get going, ladies.” Alyssa said seeming excited. I could feel butterflies in my stomach. All three of us looked fabulous together. We decided to take Alyssa’s car.

The moment we took off, the three of us started talking excitedly. We talked about girl stuff. Clothes, make up, and even boys. I have not taken a lot of time thinking about boys but when the topic came up I started considering it. I could feel a little tingling sensation going through my body. I kind of liked the idea of being hugged by a boy or holding hands with him or doing more. Since the boy topic was taking over the discussion, soon enough Alyssa asked me more about this subject.

“So, Riley. Do you mind if I ask you about boys?” Alyssa inquired curiously.

“Sure. Go ahead.” I responded.

“Do you like boys or girls or both? I know this is kind of an intimate question. Of course, you don’t have to answer if it is too personal. I am just curious.” Alyssa asked me dying to know.

“Well, I have not given it much thought since I am just exploring myself but I think I kind of like boys and girls.” I said thoughtfully.

Alyssa did not to expect this answer but seemed satisfied with it. She looked at me for a few seconds, slowly nodded and smiled.

“Very interesting. You know, I never really paid much attention to you since not too long ago you were just a kid. You seem so different now. Obviously that is a part of growing up but I admire your bravery about being honest with yourself and being the true and authentic you. I respect that. And I also think you are a pretty cute girl.” Alyssa said convincingly.

I was flabbergasted. I did not expect that. I blushed. I did not know what to say and just smiled at her.

“Thank you!” was all I could mutter.

Alyssa showed me a smile in return and soon enough Mary jumped in to our discussion.

“Alyssa, I am going to need you to pay more attention to the road and stop flirting with my baby sister.” Mary said jokingly.

We all bursted out into laughter.

The car passed a lot of familiar places as it was crawling through my beautiful hometown. By now, I completely forgot about the fight with my parents and how upset I felt. It was wonderful to make new friends, to openly be a girl and feel so comfortable in my own skin. I was about to go to the mall with my awesome sister and her cool friend. Then I remembered that I did not have my phone with me and I wondered if Sammy sent me a million texts while feeling angry that I did not respond. I wanted to introduce my sister to her and hope that the two of them will like each other. I also really hoped that the situation with my parents will be resolved. I was thinking hard about these things when I realized that we were almost at the mall.

Alyssa found a spot to park close to the entrance and soon enough we walked through the main entrance. It felt fantastic to wear nice girl clothes while having my big sister and my new friend by my side. Just three girls that want to go a bit shopping.

I admired the beautiful Christmas decorations that were already on display. In the center of the building was a huge Christmas tree with mostly red and golden ornaments and very festive looking white lights. Mary and Alyssa both seemed to admire the decorations as well.

“Girls, let’s get something to eat first. I am starving.” Mary stated rather forcefully.

Alyssa and I both nodded. We decided to go to Panera Bread to eat some lunch. After all, we went for the cheaper option. We all ordered soups and sandwiches and settled into a booth.

“So, where and more importantly, how are we going shopping? I don’t have any money.” I asked the girls.

“Don’t worry about it. I have a bit of money to spend. I know College students are generally poor but I am a good saver. So, Riley. Don’t sweat it. I can give you some cash. I wanted to buy you something nice anyways.” Mary said with a smile on her face.

“Aren’t you just the sweetest sister anyone can ask for.” I responded while looking at her in a dreamy way.

“Wait a minute, ladies. I didn’t know I just walked into a lesbian love affair between sisters.” Alyssa said bursting out laughing.

Mary and I looked at each other and started laughing really loud as well. People were giving us looks and I was feeling a little bit embarrassed.

“You should be talking, Alyssa. You were the one who flirted with Riley the whole way to the mall.” Mary pointed out.

“Alright. I admit that I did but your baby sister is such a cute little thing. However, let’s change the subject. We could go to Victoria’s Secret. What do you think?” Alyssa suggested after we finished being silly girls.

Mary and I both nodded and after lunch we made our way over there. I was impressed by the main window of the store. Mannequins were wearing lingerie, panties and stockings. I have always been fascinated by women's underwear and stockings. After we entered the store we spread out a bit. I checked out all the different displays carefully. I felt so excited. It was like being a kid in a candy store. I roamed the store a bit more until I heard a voice behind me say:

“Excuse me, Miss. Can I help you?” a friendly female voice asked.

I turned around feeling a bit startled. Maybe I spaced out a bit because I was daydreaming about cute panties.

“Well, I was just browsing a bit. I am not sure what I want to buy” I replied with confidence.

“That is quite alright. I just want to make you aware that we have a panties sale going on right now. Five for $ 25. Let me know if you are interested or if you need anything else.” she let me know in a friendly but not pushy manner.

“Thanks. I appreciate it.” I told her and walked over to a big bin that had a lot of different styles of panties in it. A big sign said “Sale. Five for $ 25”.

I started going through the bin and checked out the different panties. When I looked up, Mary and Alyssa were standing there smiling at me.

“Did you find something nice?” Alyssa inquired.

“I am thinking about buying some of these panties. What do you think, Mary? The sale is five for $ 25.” I asked her with an attempted cute look on my face.

“Yeah, what do you think, Mary?” Alyssa asked too while walking towards me, putting an arm around my hips and pulling me close.

All three of us bursted out laughing.

“Alright, I guess so.” Mary said acting exhausted. I picked out five cute panties and Mary, Alyssa and I went to the cashier to check out. Alyssa got herself some cute pj’s and Mary chose some nice underwear as well. After Mary paid for our stuff and Alyssa paid for hers, we decided to walk around the mall some more.

As we walked around and made our way through the masses of people, I started daydreaming a bit again. I thought about how lucky I was to have such a wonderful big sister, how nice it was to make new friends and how great it was to feel so much support. I kept looking at the beautiful Christmas decorations some more while all of a sudden I thought I saw a familiar face for just a split second.

Who was that? I turned around to see this face again but it was gone. There were so many people here. I felt weird. Turning to the left again, I saw Mary and Alyssa conversing and seeming to be in deep thought. Where was that face?

Mary’s eyes and mine met and we looked at each other for a short while. Then she walked over to me and asked if I was okay.

“Babe, are you alright?” she asked seeming worried.

“I guess so.” I tried to assure her. Mary knows me better than anyone else so I know this lie would not work.

“Babe…????” Mary looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

“Okay. Well, I thought I saw a familiar face in the masses of people. When I tried to check again, it was gone.” I explained.

“Any idea who this face could resemble?” Alyssa inquired.

“No, I only know that I have seen it before. I just can’t remember where.” I said.

“It’s okay, babe. I am sure it is nothing. Let’s just go back to Alyssa’s house for now.” Mary suggested while hugging me.

The drive to Alyssa’s house was fairly quiet. We were all a bit tired from shopping and eating lunch. Once we arrived we settled in Alyssa’s room. We all got comfortable in her big bed. My nylon legs were touching Alyssa’s and I loved the feeling. All three of us seemed to enjoy the moment and soon enough we drifted off to sleep.

When I woke up again, I realized that it was dark outside. I slowly regained awareness again and noticed that Alyssa snuggled up next to me. I moved a bit and she turned her head towards me. Mary seemed to be deep asleep on the other side of the bed.

“Hey, cutie. Did you sleep nice?” Alyssa asked me whispering.

“Yes, I did.” I also whispered.

“Let’s go downstairs. We let Mary sleep some more.” she suggested. I agreed. We settled into the living room and started talking.

“How does it feel to be a girl?” she asked me.

“It feels great. I can finally be the true me.” I told her.

“That is just wonderful, Riley. I am glad you discovered the real you. And this all started because you were looking at pantyhose at Macy’s. That is just amazing.” Alyssa stated.

“What is amazing?” a yawning Mary asked while slowly coming down the stairs.

“How your sister started becoming your sister. When she ran into her friend Sammy while looking at pantyhose.” Alyssa repeated.

“Yes. It is amazing. I always knew deep inside that she was a she.” Mary said with a bit of pride in her voice.

“Oh, by the way. I got a text from mom and dad, Riley. They would like to have dinner with us and make peace. They admit that they overreacted. What should I text back?” Mary asked me.

“I think that sounds okay. Under one condition though. They have to acknowledge and accept me as Riley. That is non negotiable.” I responded.

“You go girl” Alyssa cheered me on.

Mary smiled and nodded. She texted what I told her and soon enough we had an answer. Mom and dad agreed but mom wanted her car back.

“When are we meeting them?” I asked Mary.

“Soon. In about an hour.” Mary told us.

“I am happy for you two that this issue will most likely be resolved. However, I am sad that this day with you two will end. I had so much fun.” Alyssa said sounding a bit disappointed.

I walked towards her and gave her a hug. That made her smile again and after the hug we looked each other in the eyes. I leaned forward and softly kissed her. She smiled and returned the kiss. This time our tongues met and we kissed for a longer moment. Alyssa and I finally let go of one another and we both looked at Mary who seemed flabbergasted.

Alyssa put an arm around my hip and smiled.

“Your sister is a great kisser.” Alyssa said in a matter of fact kind of way.

“I am not sure what to say. Are you two going to start something with each other?” Mary asked us while looking concerned.

“Not really. I just wanted to kiss her. I felt a bit excited after all the flirting so I decided to try it. However, I do really like my friend Sammy.” I answered.

“Are you sure you don’t want me as your girlfriend?” Alyss asked me jokingly.

“Don’t worry, Mary. I am just kidding. Just to let you two know I am a bit into girls though. I experimented some during my first semester.” Alyssa said with a bit of a wicked smile.

“Let’s talk about that next time. We need to slowly get ready to go home. We could hang out again in a couple of days.” Mary suggested.

“That sounds great.” Alyssa and I both said at the same time.

We all laughed and hugged. Alyssa gave me another little kiss on the cheek and then we got in the car to go back home. Once we backed out the driveway we started talking.

“I am not sure how I feel about this. You and Alyssa smooching.” Mary told me.

“Come on, sis! I need to try new things. Like I said earlier today when we were driving to the mall. I think I like boys and girls. And I had so much fun with you two today. Let’s hang out with Alyssa again soon.” I suggested.

“Oh so I can watch you two make out?” Mary asked with a smile on her face.

“We won’t. But there might be a bit flirting and maybe another little kiss here and there. And I want to hear about her College experiences in the field of girls.” I said sounding a bit determined.

“Me too. But this might not be rated PG.” Mary warned me.

“Gosh I surely hope so.” I replied smiling.

“OMG! What happened to you? You have become this sassy self confident and super cute girl. All within a short time period. Maybe we created a monster?” Mary asked me sounding amused.

“You think I am super cute?” I wanted to know using a French accent.

“Stop it babe! Or I will kick your girly butt!” Mary said sounding a bit more determined.

“Alright. Cool your jets. I will behave again. Friends?” I asked her.

“Always and forever.” she said.

We both smiled at each other. Soon we were getting close to our house.

“Are you ready for this, babe?” Mary inquired.

“This will be a piece of cake. I have the best and strongest sister in the world by my side. Besides, we already won. Mom and dad accepted my non negotiable via text. The fact that I am Riley. End of story. We should be nice to them but we also have to be tough. If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen!” I said full of determination.

When we pulled into our driveway and got out of the car I looked at Mary who seemed to stare into the darkness in disbelief.

I hugged my big sister tightly. There we were. Standing in our parents dimly lit driveway. Hugging and hugging. From the corner of my eye, I could see my parents standing at the door looking at us.

We walked up to my parents who were still standing at the door. I was determined to get this issue resolved. I felt confident and brave. I loved wearing my girlie clothes because it felt so natural. Well, technically they were Alyssa’s old clothes. The skirt and top fit me perfectly as if they were made for me. Of course, I loved the black tights the most. This was me. Riley.

Once we stood in front of them, time seemed to stand still for a short while. Then suddenly we all hugged. The hugging happened rather silently. Nobody was talking. I felt relief. I knew that everything was going to be alright. Once we took our jackets off, we all sat down at the dining room table and I took over.

“First of all, thank you for accepting me as the girl who I really am. I have always been Riley and that will never change. Meeting Sammy helped me to find and express myself. I also would like to apologize for Mary and me storming out and stealing your car. That was maybe not the right move but we just didn’t know what to do.” I said starting to tear up a little.

“That’s quite okay. Your dad and I were just so worried about you two. We did not know how to handle the situation and we were overwhelmed with feelings and emotions. But we are glad that you two are safe and back with us now.” mom said also starting to tear up.

“Yes. We are glad you are back home and safe. I apologize for being so stubborn. I just refused to believe that my son is gone. It hurts me deeply. But I have to accept this. However, I won a new daughter. Welcome home, Riley.” my dad said breaking out in tears.

Everyone cried so hard at the same time. I have never seen anything like it. I looked to my right and saw Mary completely break down in tears. So everyone cried their little hearts out. After a short break and lot’s of tissues and some more hugging, we continued our conversation.

I was still in disbelief that my dad came around so quickly. I thought he was going to be a tougher nut to crack. I felt so grateful and blessed knowing that I have such a wonderful and supportive family. I made a mental note to thank my dad for being so accepting now. I am sure he considered his thoughts a lot and carefully. I hoped he will give me some details about his feelings.

Mom decided that we should have some dinner and then continue our discussion.

“First of all, I am glad that our normal family relationships have been restored. Riley, your dad and I encourage you to be yourself. However, for the remainder of the weekend, I am going to have to ask you to restrict your dressing up in girl clothes to home. It is just a safety concern. Are you okay with that?” mom asked me.

“Well, I guess so.” I responded a bit in a hesitant manner.

“Riley, we want you to be able to talk to a therapist about being a girl. This is not to “cure” you from it but for you to share your feelings and thoughts with someone who is a professional and who is someone outside the family. We would have to do some extensive research to find a suitable therapist and I am not sure how long it would take to get an appointment but it is a start. What do you think, Riley?” my dad asked me.

“Yeah, I think that sounds like a good idea.” I replied. I was impressed. My parents apparently were considering and discussing those concerns a lot today.

“Alright. Looks like we are making some progress. I think that is enough for such an eventful day. We will continue tomorrow.” mom decided.

Everyone nodded in agreement. All four of us took care of the dishes and cleaned up together. When we were finished I felt exhausted.

“May Riley and I be excused?” Mary asked. Both of our parents looked at each other and nodded.

“Okay girls. But don’t stay up too late.” mom said while Mary and I headed up to her room.

We both threw ourselves on her bed and started talking.

“What a day this was!” I said yawning. Mary nodded in agreement and also yawnned.

“I think I will need a lot of sleep in order to recover from this crazy day. Besides, on Monday morning I have to go back to College.” Mary said sounding sad.

“Yes. That’s right. I totally forgot with all the excitement and craziness that we had. I don’t want you to leave but I know you have to.” I said thoughtfully.

Mary looked me deep in the eyes and after a short while I could see a grin on her face.

“Riley, you amaze me. It is hard to believe how fast you changed in those last few days. The most significant change happened from this morning until just now. You walked into that mall so confidently. Like you always were a girl. If I would have not known you, I would never have second guessed that you were a girl.”

I could not stop smiling. This made me feel wonderful.

“Aw, thanks sis! At first I was a bit hesitant to go out in public dressed as a girl but once I considered how exciting this idea was, I loved everything about it. I had so much fun with you and Alyssa. Thank you so much!” I told Mary feeling grateful.

Mary kissed me on the forehead and we both hugged for a minute.

“Let’s go to sleep. I am sure mom and dad are going to continue their discussion with us tomorrow.” Mary said looking really tired.

I agreed and went back to my room. I did not want to take off my girl clothes but I knew that I had to. I got into my boy pj’s and tried to go to sleep. Almost immediately I fell into a deep hole of sleep.

The sun light woke me up. I checked my alarm clock and saw that it was past 8 AM. I stretched and yawned and slowly decided to get up and find some breakfast.

I went downstairs and walked into the kitchen. Mom, dad and Mary were all sitting at the table having breakfast.

“Good morning, Riley.” dad said smiling at me.

“Good morning, everyone.” I replied smiling back at my beautiful family.

“Do you want something to eat? I made pancakes and eggs.” Mom told me.

“Great. I am starving.” I said and got myself a plate to get some of mom’s delicious pancakes and eggs.

“Riley, we are going to have to buy you a new wardrobe. Are you up for some shopping today?” mom asked as if my answer could possibly no.

“Heck yeah!” I said smiling and nodding.

“I want you to finish breakfast, shower and get dressed and then meet us all in the living room. We need to continue our discussion from yesterday.” dad requested.

“Okay, sounds good to me. I’ll be in the living room in roughly 20 minutes.” I said finishing up my breakfast.

“Oh hey sis, if you want to wear your jeans with a rather girlie top, I can give you one of my old ones.” Mary offered.

“That would be great. Thanks, sis.” I replied.

“Aw, still the two love birds. Alright, let’s get moving. We have lots to do today.” Mom insisted.

I put my plate into the kitchen sink and went upstairs with Mary. Mary said she will leave a top on my bed while I am in the shower. I showered, got dressed with a cute pink top and a pair of my jeans. I went back downstairs and met my family in the living room.

Everyone seemed to be in good spirits when I sat myself next to Mary on the couch.

“We are going to have to talk about school. You have to go back on Monday. Our suggestion is that you can start going to school being Riley but we are going to have to talk about that with the school administration first. There will be lot’s to figure out. This cannot all be done until Monday. So you are going to have to be Randy at least for a little while longer. At least when you are at school.” mom said seeming a bit worried.

I pondered this for a little while. I knew that this sounded reasonable. I did not like the idea very much but I could see that this made a lot of sense.

“Okay. Agreed!” I said slowly.

“Great. Once we have a lot more information we can plan how we should proceed. Your mom and I will do some more research. Especially regarding a therapist. I think this should be our number on priority.” dad said sounding determined.

Everyone else nodded.

“Riley, I want you to be aware that this is only The Beginning. We have to stick together as a family and love and protect each other. Because there are people out there who would not accept you as a girl. They will not accept you as the person you truly are. People who will be vicious and mean to you and maybe even hurt you physically. I decided I am not going to be someone like this. I am in your corner and always will be.” dad said in a very matter of fact kind of way.

Mary, mom and I stared at each other in disbelief. I wondered if there were any tissues somewhere in the living room.

My mom, Mary and I got up simultaneously and all three of us walked over to hug my dad. I was so proud to be his daughter. A little more crying happened and after a short while, we settled back down.

“Okay girls. We need to get ready for shopping soon. Mary, I will give you some money too so you don’t feel treated unfairly.” mom announced.

“Hooray! I am not going to say no to that .” Mary said excitedly.

“What about your friend Samantha, Riley. Maybe she wants to hang out at the mall with us?” mom asked me.

“OMG! I totally forgot about Sammy. I have to text her asap. Oh no! I think my phone has probably no charge at all. She is going to be so mad that I didn’t text her all day yesterday.” I said feeling close to tears.

Mary came over to give me a hug.

“It will be okay, babe. Just explain to her what happened yesterday and she will be understanding.” Mary said trying to cheer me up.

“Let’s go upstairs and find you some of my old clothes and charge your phone. Once you got a bit of a charge you should ask her if you can call her. Explain to her what happened and ask if she wants to meet us at the mall.” Mary instructed me.

“If you say it like that, it sounds so easy,” I replied.

Mary smiled and nodded and then we were on our way upstairs. I went right to my room and looked for my phone. I found it sitting on the corner of my desk and of course it was turned off. I plugged it in and it started to charge. I left my room again and entered Mary’s room.

“Hey sis, I plugged in my phone. I will call Sammy as soon as the phone has a bit of a charge. Now, did you find anything cute to wear for me?” I asked smiling at her.

“Patience, sis. I have a few ideas. How about some cute jeans and a nice top. I fortunately still have some of my old jeans from a few years ago. And I also have some cute panties with lace you can wear and keep. They are also from when I was younger.” Mary suggested.

“Great. Thanks, Sis! You are the best. I will take the clothes, go to my room, get changed and see if I am able to call Sammy.” I said and left her room.

I went back to my room, put the clothes on the bed and checked my phone. It had a bit of a charge. I saw I had 17 text messages. All from Sammy. The first few ones were friendly, the ones after that sounded worried and the last ones were just angry. I texted her saying that I was sorry asking if I can call her. She said yes. I called and explained my situation to her. Her anger slowly disappeared. She was friendly again and sounded excited about my adventures.

“Wow, that is so cool. I wish I could have come with you to the mall. It sounded like you girls had fun.” Sammy told me.

“Actually, we are going back to the mall. Would you like to meet us there if you are not doing anything else?” I asked her hoping she would say yes.

“Heck yeah! You don’t have to ask me twice. I will ask my mom. She was talking about going shopping today. I am sure she will be able to drop me off.” Sammy said sounding very excited.

“That is wonderful! Can’t wait to see you again. I missed you. Oh, I still have to tell you the details of the discussions Mary and I had with our parents. I am hoping we could have a bit of private time when we are all at the mall or after shopping. I am sure my sister and my mom want to go to some stores we are not interested in.” I explained.

“Yes. That sounds good. I would love to have some private time, sweetie. Not just for talking.” Sammy said sounding very excited and a bit flirty.

My heart started to beat faster and maybe it skipped a beat.

“Fantastic. Let’s meet at the mall in about 45 minutes. Can’t wait!” I told her.

“Me neither. See you soon.” Sammy said and hung up.
I changed into the cute clothes Mary gave me. I checked myself in the mirror. I liked what I saw. I really looked like a cute girl. The girlie jeans Mary gave me fit me perfectly and looked super cute.

I took my phone. It was charged a bit. I kept it plugged in when I talked to Sammy. I will charge my phone in the car a bit more when we are on our way to the mall. I walked downstairs and saw that mom and Mary were already waiting for me.

“Wow, look at you, sis! You look cute in those jeans.” Mary complimented me.

“Aw, thanks,” I told her smiling.

“Yes, you do look super cute.” my mom agreed.

“I think so too.” dad stated.

“Oh, thanks mom and dad,” I said walking towards him giving him a big hug and then my mom.

“What are you going to do this morning?” I asked my dad.

“Well, I think I am going to work around the house and do some more research so we can find you a therapist,” he told us.

“Thanks, daddy. You are the best. I appreciate that a lot. However, I think you should do something fun too today. Maybe you and I can do something when we are back from the mall?” I asked.

My dad seemed thrilled and answered that this is a great idea. We got in the car and left for the mall.

“Oh, Sammy will meet us at the mall,” I told my mom and sis. They smiled at me and seemed excited.

On the way to the mall, we started talking.

“So, what clothes are you most interested in?” Mary asked me.

“I think mostly nice skirts and dresses,” I answered.

“You are going to need a completely new wardrobe. That included bras, panties, stockings, socks, tops, jeans and leggings” my mom said joining into our conversation.

“Agreed. I will need a whole lot of clothes. I also like the ones you gave me, sis” I told Mary.

“You are welcome, babe. So, let’s change the subject. I am excited to finally meet your friend Sammy.” Mary said seeming thrilled.

“Yes. I am sure she is excited to meet you too.” I said.

“So are you two going to smooch again?” Mary teased me a bit.

“What do you mean with again?” my mom jumped in sounding a bit concerned.

“Well, Sammy and I kissed,” I told my mom trying to be honest.

“Interesting.” my mom stated matter of factly.

“Oh, come on mom! This is no big deal. Riley is old enough for that.” Mary also said matter of factly.

“Alright. I am just a bit disappointed you did not tell me, Riley.” mom said sounding a bit hurt.

“I am sorry, mom. There was so much going on and when I was still Randy I felt much more shy about these things.”I explained.

“It’s okay. I think we need to talk about kissing and sex sometime soon. I think this is important. Maybe Mary can be a part of this discussion too?” my mom asked.

“Sure. I will gladly give my expert opinion.” Mary said jokingly.

“Thanks, doctor sex,” I said smiling.

“Mom, can you believe this. Look at how sassy Riley has become.” Mary pointed out.

“I noticed that.” my mom said almost laughingly.

We finally reached the mall. We found a place to park and walked to the main entrance. Sammy texted me saying that she is already at the food court. We made our way to the food court and Sammy and I found each other. I almost ran up to her and we hugged each other tightly. Then we kissed for about three seconds.

I turned around to introduce Sammy to my mom and Mary who both had a huge smile on their faces.

Mary and Sammy hugged.

“Hey, Sammy. It is nice to finally meet you. I am glad you have been such a great friend for my baby sister.” Mary said.

“Of course. Thanks. I am also happy to finally meet you. I have heard so much about you. Riley talks about almost nothing else but her big role model Mary.” Sammy replied.

Mary actually blushed a bit and smiled.

“Hi, Sammy. It is nice to see you again.” my mom said.

“You too!” Sammy responded while shaking her hand.

We decided to split up. My mom gave me an envelope with cash and wished us three girls fun going shopping. We agreed to meet in about two hours at the food court again.

Mary, Sammy and I walked into a clothes store that had fashion for people my age. I tried on some dresses, skirts, and jeans. I also looked at shoes. The three of us had a lot of fun. I was happy that Mary and Sammy seemed to get along. At least this was my first impression.

The three of us went from store to store to find clothes and all kinds of accessories. I needed a purse and I wanted some cute sunglasses. The next store we visited was Macy’s. The place where it all began. Sammy and I smiled at each other when we walked through the main entrance. All of us carried heavy bags with clothes.

“I want to look for some pantyhose and maybe try on a few dresses. I think after that I need a break.” I said feeling a bit exhausted.

Sammy and Mary both nodded in agreement. We went back to the food court. It was about time to meet my mom there anyways. We settled down for a bit and started talking.

“Well, Riley. Are you happy with your purchases?” Sammy asked me.

“Very much so. What do you ladies think we should do after we are done shopping?” I asked.

“Why don’t we all go back to our house and examine our loot? We could even try on a few outfits. If Sammy wants to join us and her mom is okay with it?” Mary suggested.

“That would be awesome. I will text her right away.” Sammy said sounding thrilled.

“Hey girls! How was everyone’s shopping trip? Did you have fun?” mom asked us coming up to our table.

“Yes!” all three of us said at the same time.

“Mom, can Sammy come with us to the house to hang out?” I asked her.

“Oh, I suppose so. If Sammies’ mom is okay with it.” mom answered.

“She just texted me back. I have to be home by seven for dinner. Until then I can stay.” Sammy let us know.

“Alright! Then we shall go home. Sammy, please tell your mom I want to talk to her later this afternoon.” my mom told Sammy.
“Will do!” Sammy replied.

All of us made our way back to the car with many big bags. Once we settled in the car, everyone started talking loudly.

“What a fun day this was so far. I really enjoyed going out shopping with you lovely ladies. Thanks for all the good styling advice.” I told my sis and my friend.

“Are you kidding me? This was so much fun. I have to thank you, Riley and Mary.” Sammy stated.

“I enjoyed myself so much shopping with my little sis and her cool friend,” Mary told us.

“You girls are just too cute. Let’s get you home.” mom said while we were making our way through my beautiful hometown.

Mary and Sammy started talking about makeup and a listened closely while I was still able to observe the outside world going by. It was about three in the afternoon and the sun was thinking about leaving us for the day. A lot of people in my town had beautiful Christmas decorations and festive lights. I always liked to walk around town in the evenings and admire the people’s creativity.

As we were slowly making our way to our house, I felt even more excited. The prospect of another fashion show thrilled me. We finally arrived and us four ladies walked into the front door. My dad was right there seeming to have waited for us.

“Hello, ladies! How was shopping?” my dad inquired.

“It was good. As you can see we found a few things.” I said jokingly down playing our huge shopping bags.

“Haha! I can see that. Oh, hi Sammy. It’s nice to see you again.” my dad said to Sammy.

“Thank you. You too. Thanks for having me over.” Sammy said sounding very polite.
“Why don’t you three girls go upstairs and try out your new wardrobes. I have to talk to Riley’s & Mary’s dad.” mom said sounding a bit serious.

We all went upstairs with our big bags and decided to use Mary’s room for our fashion show. I threw a lot of my clothes on Mary’s bed and started sorting it out and rearranging many things. Sammy and Mary did the same thing. All three of us decided to try on different things, hanging out in just underwear sometimes. Once the outfits we put together were complete, we documented our fashion show by taking a million pictures. Sammy decided to post some of those pictures on Instagram.

After trying on a few more outfits, we all started to feel tired. We settled down on Mary’s bed and started talking about this wonderful day.

After a short while we heard my dad asking all three of us to come downstairs. We followed this request and as soon as we were in the kitchen again, my dad told me he had a surprise for me.

“What’s the surprise?” I asked.

“Come into the dining room and see for yourself,” he told me.

Everyone walked into the dining room and there was a big cake.

“Why did you get this big cake, dad?” I asked feeling rather confused.

“Go take a closer look.” he insisted.

I went closer to the cake to get a better look. The cake said “Happy Birthday, Riley.”

This was even more confusing. My birthday was not until June.

“Dad, my birthday is not until summer,” I said trying not to sound rude.

“You mean Randy’s birthday is not until summer. Now that I have a wonderful new daughter I thought that we could….” dad tried to say.

He did not get to finish his sentence because all four females in this room started screaming and jumping up and down. Everyone stormed over to hug my dad tightly who almost lost balance and seemed a bit startled.

“Dad, this is so wonderful. What a great gesture.” I said feeling overwhelmed.

“You did well, dad!” Mary agreed.

“That was first class!” Sammy added.

“The girls and I have the best husband and father in the world.” my mom said proudly.

My dad did not seem sure about what to say. We all had delicious cake and had a fun time talking.

“Oh, honey. Did you look at the mail yet today?” my mom asked my dad.

“No, I put it on the kitchen table for you. It looks like there is a lot of junk mail.” my dad pointed out.

“I will take a quick look.” my mom replied and went into the kitchen. After about two minutes she came back holding a letter in her hand. She seemed very serious and concerned. I realized right away that something was wrong.

“This letter is addressed to Riley. Riley, who else knows that you are Riley and not Randy anymore.” my mom asked me her voice shaking a bit.

“Well, besides Alyssa, Sammy and a few of her girlfriends. Nobody else at school knows.” I said starting to feel dizzy.

“Open it!” my dad said taking the letter out of my mom’s hands and giving it to me.

I carefully opened it up and there was a picture of me, Alyssa and Mary walking out of a store at the mall. Underneath it said:

“You are a fag! We don’t want sickos like you in our town. Leave or suffer the consequences! We know who you are!”
I could not finish reading it. The last thing I remember was a sharp pain hitting my head while falling into a black hole of nothingness.

When I opened my eyes I saw Mary’s face. She smiled at me. For a moment I had no idea what happened. I did not know where I was or what time of the day it was.

“Babe, are you okay?” Mary asked me sounding concerned.

My beautiful sister, my role model, my inspiration was here. I knew everything was going to be okay. I started recognizing more of my surroundings. Mom and dad were standing there, I saw Sammy and Alyssa were there also. I noticed that I was laying on the living room couch. Looking around a little more, I also realized that a man that appeared to be a doctor or EMT was looking at me.

“Riley, you fainted and hit your head on the dining room table.” mom said to me gently.

I touched my face and felt a stinging pain.

“Babe, don’t touch it. The doctor will make sure you are okay. Just sit back and relax.” Mary asked me to while she was holding my hand.

I saw that the doctor talked to my parents. The weird fog of regaining consciousness started to disappear. Then I remembered the letter. I felt anxious at first which then slowly turned into anger.

“Honey, I just talked to the doctor and he said it is not necessary to send you to the hospital. It is only a minor injury. Your emotional well being is more important.” mom said gently.

“Okay, mom! Thanks. I think I have an idea who sent that letter. I remembered the familiar face I briefly saw at the mall. I did not see any stamps on the envelope. Am I right?” I asked.

“Yes, you are right. It just said “Riley” on it.” dad told me.

“I know I don’t have any exact proof, but I am very sure this threat came from Michelle. She was the face I noticed at the mall. She must have taken that picture of Mary, Alyssa and me. I cannot imagine that it was any of the other girls I met at Sammy’s house.” I said slowly feeling stronger.

“That sounds plausible. I was so mad and angry at Michelle when she reacted that way. Maybe I should have thought about it more before I told my friends about you. I am sorry, Riley. I did not want to put you in danger.” Sammy said sounding close to tears.

“Sammy, d0n’t worry about it. I know now that there are always people who will try to attack you, who hate who you are because they are jealous or because they hate themselves. So this was inevitable.” I said feeling determined.

I started getting up slowly, feeling braver.

“Honey, take it easy. You need to rest some more.” mom said seeming worried.

“No, I am just getting started. I will not back down. My name is Riley and I am a girl. I have a right to be my true self. Other people can threaten me, they can hate me or even try to harm me but I will not surrender. No retreat no remorse! If Michelle or anyone else thinks they can intimidate me, they need to think again!” I almost yelled.

My whole family and friends looked at me seeming not sure how to respond. I could feel that I started to smile. I walked over to Sammy and kissed her on the lips. Sammy kissed me back and then we hugged.

“Sammy, will you be my girlfriend?” I asked her.

“Yes! Absolutely!” Sammy responded and we hugged and kissed again.

I looked around and saw that everyone was smiling. I could also sense that everyone was still feeling concerned.

“I want to thank you all for the love and support I got from all of you. Mom and dad, I know you will always have my back. Mary, the love and admiration I feel for you is endless. I could not ask for a better role model and sister. Alyssa, you have been a wonderful friend for my sister. I hope we can be great friends too. Sammy, you are a cute little thing and I can’t wait to have many more adventures together with you. I will not let a little ridiculous letter let my new life derail. I want to go on many more adventures with all of you. After all, this is only The Beginning.” I said.

Everyone came over to hug me. I smiled because I was the luckiest girl in the world.

The End