Do telephones distort the truth or give glimpses into reality. Too many times I have been called "Miss" on the phone. Have you?

Some things are best left unsaid. Some things are best out in the open. Who decides these things because I don’t know? What I do know is that it’s time to tell you my story. If you’re a skeptic or cynical, you choose whether or not you want to continue reading. For the rest of you, get comfortable, kick off your shoes, get a cool refreshing drink. Oh, don’t forget your thinking cap. You may need it.

It’s the summer of 1989 and I’m going to tell you a story. It’s set in the past and some of the parts may be a little fuzzy, but please bear with me. I’ll try to do my best to keep you entertained. The story is about me. Surprise! Not! In fact the story is about me from the time my mother died until I finished High School, at least part of High School, the part of which I spent living as a woman. It started this way…

I was born on the Fourth of July in 1959. My mother and father, Fred and Rosemary Daniels, had been married for only five years at this time. Dad had been looking for work for several months. Mom was staying with her parents till he found a place for us, the ‘us’ being Mom, my brother Mark and I. They exchanged letters and the rare long-distance phone call. I was a big baby, but mom said that all the babies born in her family were big. My parents had selected a name for me and I was named Gene. A girl child would have been named Jean. I was spoiled by my grandparents and relatives. I grew into a little pudgy ball of baby. The PC term today is 'pleasantly plump' in those days I was a fat baby. Mom's family was big and she said I took after her. She was a large woman but solid. She had been raised on a farm and despite her size she was strong.

When I started First Grade, I was 46 inches tall and weighed almost 70 pounds; I had short brown hair and all the hallmarks of being chubby. Compared to the other kids I was a giant. That became my nickname. Everybody called me Giant. I tried to be friendly with the other kids and generally was. Some of the kids would try to scare the littler kids when I was around and that caused me problems. I would get reported and my mom would be called to the school. This went on and on. I was made to be the bad guy just because I was bigger than the other kids. Then the name calling began in earnest, Fatty, Hippo, Tubby, and Slob, all of them. You have probably called a fat person by several of these names. The names hurt regardless of that old rhyme. I was tolerated thru Elementary School and grew to 4 four 7 inches and 122 pounds by the time I reached Fifth Grade at 10 years old, shorter than most of my classmates, but heavier too. There I was again the butt of jokes about my size.

Even as big as I was, there were some things I couldn’t do for myself. That’s where my brother Mark came in. Sometimes I’d get picked on by a bigger kid and he’d come to my rescue. Mark was my hero. I wanted to be like him. He was a spitting image of my dad and being 4 years older, I naturally looked up to him. He did teach me how to play ball and some other things. The down side was that my weight limited my activity in some outdoor pursuits. He was one of the first to talk to me about my weight and tried to help me lose a few pounds and shape up.

I was trying to get my weight under control, but nothing seemed to help. I started to exercise by walking daily and riding my bicycle. Mark would pace me and encourage me. I even sent off for one of those exercise programs from the back of comic books. My dad got a set of weights and he helped me work out. The weight set worked great for Mark, not too good for me though. The exercise caused me to get hungry and I seemed to just eat more. I only lost a few pounds but did start to tone up. Then the diet to end all diets came into my life.

My mother was in an automobile accident and killed. Dad was devastated and I was too. Mom was the glue that held our family together. My little sister, Sally, was only 2 years old and she seemed to regress to being a baby again. She had to be put back into diapers.

Dad took us to a Church counselor and the counselor said it was not unexpected. Sally was regressing to an earlier time when she felt more love. Dad was irritable and I said nothing. Mark just stayed quiet. The counselor said that Sally would get past this phase and that we should just treat her normally. Because Dad worked the nightshift and I went to school in the day, I was responsible for her in the evenings and on weekends. Mark had things he had to do and the counselor suggested that he keep his obligations outside the family as the interaction with other people would help him get over his grief. I’ll tell you that it was embarrassing for a 10 year old boy to change diapers, especially for a two year old girl. But I did it.

Sometimes it seemed that the only family I had was Sally. Dad was either at work or somewhere else. Mark should have been around, but he said he had ‘things to do’. My sister latched on to me and we became inseparable. As I said this started the diet to end all diets, Mom was the cook and Dad and I were helpless in the kitchen. Don’t ask about Mark and the kitchen. The only recipe he knew was how to make clean plate dirty. I could read the instructions from the box and so became the cook. My sister liked Mac and Cheese and that's what we ate mostly. This was almost the 1970s and quick fix foods were fast filling the shelves on the supermarket. We also ate salad and Hot Dogs. My working around the house and caring for my sister caused me to lose a lot of weight and by the time I was 16 years old and in 11th Grade I was 5 feet 5 inches tall and down to a cool 100 pounds. My hair had also grown out to about shoulder length, with some curl at the ends.

By now, it was 1975 and boys were again wearing their hair longer. Mine had grown out because it was just too hard to get to the barbershop. I had tried to cut it with scissors, but that was a disaster. Another good part of the diet were my legs, I had nice long lean legs and a flat belly and thin sculpted arms. But there was a problem. I didn't lose the weight everywhere. What I mean was that my belly and legs slimmed down, but my chest was still big. In fact I looked like I had boobs. Another thing about me that was strange was that my penis never got stiff. When I had to pee, I felt the urge, but nothing else. Even in the mornings. As I got older, still no stiffness, Most of the boys I knew started to brag about how big they were when stiff, but I stayed out of those talks. Even when I started to realize the difference between boys and girls, no stiffness happened. Watching a pretty girl in a bathing suit or seeing a glimpse of feminine breast, you guessed it, no stiffness.

I was worried, but afraid to talk to dad. Instead I asked Mark about my problem. He told me about guys in the locker room and some of the things they said. I was amazed. Then he told me about what happened to him, in the mornings and sometimes when he was around a pretty girl. I was embarrassed and so was he but we both had to laugh at it. We were having such a good time that I told him about my chest. He didn’t understand and so I just took off my shirt and threw it at him. Wow, you shoulda seen his jaw drop. He threw my shirt back at me and told me to put it on. He also said not to let any of the guys see me like that. He said it looked like I had boobs. He also said that the way I looked after losing all the weight made me look like a girl.

It wasn’t too long after that, that Sally discovered my secret. It was summer and she wanted to go to the Swimming Pool. Dad said ok, if I would take her. She was excited, running and jumping around. Maybe a little too excited. She accidentally hit me in the chest and I fell down. My chest felt like it was on fire. I got up holding my arms across my chest and sat down. Sally said she was sorry. I just nodded at her. Dad had heard the noise and came to investigate. When he saw me holding my chest, he asked “What’s wrong?” I said I got hit accidentally and would be ok in a few minutes. Then he said “Let’s see.” I panicked and started to cry.

Dad sat beside me and lifted my shirt. Boy you shoulda seen his eyes when he looked at my chest. Without looking at her, dad said “Sally, go out and play.” Turning to me he asked “Gene, what’s happened to your chest?’

“I don’t know, dad.”

“Uh, how long had it been like this?”

I thought for a couple of seconds, then said “Uh, maybe about a year.”

Boy did dad goldfish. “About a year! Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” I just shrugged my shoulders.

Because of the pain in my chest, Dad took me to a doctor. The doctor said that I had a condition called Gynecomastia and a lot of boys got it, the Gynecomastia I mean. Most boys got real small boobs, others a little bigger, I got extra-large ones. The doctor said that the boobs should go away. He said that only time would tell. I don't think he told time that. When the doctor talked to me alone I asked him about my penis, telling him that it never got stiff. He said that it might be a complication of the Gynecomastia and not to worry. Dad asked the doctor for a medical exemption from PE and the doctor agreed.

When School started I had to take Home Economics. Dad thought this was a good choice as it was only us three now. Mark had left for the Army. He was going to be a Heavy Equipment operator. The class also taught sewing and I needed that skill for mending stuff. So I went to class. I got funny looks from the girls and funnier looks from the boys. I was scared all the time and kept to myself. I didn't volunteer in class and tried to be like Claude Raines. The invisible man, er boy.

Sally found out about my boobs sometime after my doctor’s exam. She saw the funny shirts I had to wear and had noticed the softness of my chest. She said that when I hugged her it was like being hugged by mommy. Needless to say my little sister thought that boobs were funny on her brother. Seven year olds have a strange sense of humor. Whoever heard of a brother with boobs and she took advantage of them, too. Once I had to go to her school for a conference, the teacher just thought I was her mother or maybe a big sister.

I sat on the bench outside the school office. I was wearing plain jeans and a loose sweater. My hair was in a small ponytail and I kept tapping my foot. As the door to the office opened, I stood nervously. A woman, somewhere in her thirties, stood there looking at me. Her head was moving up and down as she watched me. Then her hand comes out in front of her and she said "Mrs. Daniels? How nice to meet you. You're younger looking than I thought you would be." Her smile flashed brightly.

"Um, no, I'm not Sally's mother, I'm her..."

I was cut off as she quickly said, "I'm sorry, I just assumed that you were her mother. She looks just like you. You must be her big sister. I'm Miss Preston." I just nodded and held out my hand at the introduction.

I said, "I'm Gene. Now... "

Again I was cut off, as she continued to talk, telling me about Sally and her class activities. At one point, she asked if my mother was available and I told her that I was the raising Sally cause mom had passed. She gave me a hug at this and told me that I was a brave girl. How do you explain boobs on a boy, because she had noticed? Whoever heard of a boy with long hair and boobs in 1975?

My sister laughed at that. There were other times too. Like when I took her to get a haircut and the stylist wanted to give me a perm. Or how about when I was shopping and the sales ladies just ushered me into the female fitting rooms. Then there were the times that I was asked if I was buying a bra. Talk about embarrassing. Even when I saw my reflection in a mirror all I saw was my reflection. What other people saw, I didn’t know. That and the face that I was treated differently, like I was older made me wonder.

Dad decided to move closer to his job and my sister and I agreed. We would get away and live somewhere new. There were a lot of memories in the house and hopefully moving would help us put the past behind us. It was worth a try. We were all miserable in that house without mom and too many times I heard dad cry himself to sleep.

I went to a new school for High School and hardly knew anyone there. I wore a special shirt to keep my chest as flat as I could. The doctor recommended it and dad had agreed. I also wore loose baggy shirts. That part was easy as I always wore my clothes large anyway. I didn't want anyone to see my chest, especially one of the guys I might know. That would be real bad. I kept a low profile and tried to be invisible. In a way the Home Ec class helped. Most of the kids thought I was a shy girl or a tomboy and I got ignored. I still got funny looks though and even the occasional smile from a boy. I felt strange.

As I said I had lost a lot of weight and my body took on a new shape. As I was in Home Ec, it was assumed that I was a girl. Boys just didn't take Home Ec in 1975. The girls were friendly enough but I kept my distance. I was eager to learn about girls, but as a 16 year old boy I was nervous around them. School had been in session for about 5 weeks and I had been wearing my usual shirt. On this day, one of the girls, Helen, handed me a package as I took my seat. "I got this for you." She turned to face the front of the class as I held the package.

The teacher saw Helen pass the package and we had to go to the front of the class. The teacher asked "What's in the package?"

"I don't know." I replied. Not good enough for her, she made me open the package and show the class the contents. I was embarrassed, it was a Bra.

The teacher looked at Helen and asked "Helen, why have you given Gene a bra?"

Helen said "I thought she needed one. I mean when she bends over you can see the outline of her breasts under her shirt and it was a shame to not have anything nice to wear." The teacher agreed and told Helen to take me to the Lavatory and help me change into my new bra. Helen was excited to do this.

Helen grabbed my hand and pulled me into the Lavatory. I really didn't want to go in there. The door was clearly marked Girls Lavatory and I was embarrassed to go inside. I pleaded with her not to do this to me. I made promises to take the bra home and try it on. Helen wouldn't listen and I guess I was so loud that the teacher heard me and came to investigate. I tried to explain that I didn't need to try on the bra but this fell on deaf ears. The rest of the class got involved in my argument. I thought I was winning when one of the girls said "Jean why don't you try it on. I saw you with your little sister last Saturday buying her clothes and I saw you eyeing the bras. You really should have a nice one too." I stood there and started crying. I was crying because I loved my sister and helped her in every way I could. Not for not having my own bra. I just didn't know how to tell them. I guess they misunderstood, because they pulled off my outer shirt and removed my inner shirt. There were several audible gasps when my chest was exposed. The teacher asked for a tape measure and as I stood naked from the waist up, she measured my chest. The girls were amazed to learn that I was a 34B. Boy did their tongues start to wag. The bra Helen gave me was a 32A, I could wear it, but it was tight. When I looked down all I could see was pink flesh and lace; I got embarrassed.

The class was excited for me. They asked why my mother didn't let me wear a real bra and I started crying again. In between sniffles, I told them that she was killed by a drunk driver six years ago. Some of them started crying now. Helen gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek causing me to turn red. The teacher told the girls to go back to their seats, but I was to stay. With the girls out of the room, the teacher said that she wanted to talk to me after school. I just nodded my head as she led me back into the classroom. I was dreading the rest of the class.

The rest of the day was a blur. I wanted to take off the bra, but couldn't get the privacy to do it. Some of the girls from my Home Ec class stayed by me all day, they said that I needed to catch up on girl stuff. They even tried to pull me into the Girl's Lavatory! Lucky for me the last bell rang and I could go home and take off this bra. Then I remembered I had to see Mrs. Peek in Home Ec. With a heavy head I made my way back to Home Ec.

Mrs. Peek wasn't the ogre I thought she was. She was very kind to me and offered to help me be the best girl I could. I hesitatingly answered her questions. I told her about my mom's death, taking care of my little sister and big brother. I told her about learning to cook and keeping up with the house work. As a working woman, she had some sympathy for me in these departments. Finally she asked me about girl things. "Jean, how do you get on with out your mother?" Realizing what she said, she turned red with embarrassment. "I'm sorry; it's that I mean not having her guidance for clothes and girl stuff." This time I turned red when she mentioned the time of the month and even redder when she showed me some of the things girls used at that time. Then she asked me what I was using and I told her that I didn't do that. She was confused because I was 16 years old and didn't have a period yet. She mentioned about me going to a doctor and I panicked. I blurted out that I was a boy. You should have seen the look on her face.

"Mrs. Peek, I'm sorry. I didn't mean, I mean, I, oh, what's the use." I started to cry. Let her get me expelled. I'd get my beatings anyway, just as soon as she opened her mouth the news would be all over. The guys would use me as a punching bag and the girls would laugh or just egg them on.

Mrs. Peek sat still and watched me, her mouth opened, but no sound came out. We sat in the Home Ec room looking at each other. I thought that she'd blow her top. I just waited while she looked at me like I was dirt. At least that's how I felt. Finally she smiled and asked "Gene, how do you explain that?" She pointed at my chest.

I told her about being fat as a baby and when I was younger. I told her about taking over the house chores and raising my sister. I told her about how I lost weight everywhere but my chest and that a doctor said that my chest would be normal in time. Then she asked me about the bra. I turned red again. I had tried to forget I was wearing it. She asked if it was comfortable and I admitted that it was a little tight. She smiled at that. She asked about my sister and I gave her the story of the diapers and how sis was now, even the part about buying her clothes and seeing the bras. She smiled more as I talked. She said she had a lot of thinking to do and that we’d talk again. I left her room and went home. I was dreading tomorrow.

Just another day at school was dragging on. My first three classes were ok, but then came Home Ec. I prayed for the school to catch on fire or something. Tough luck, no fire; instead Home Ec. I went into the class filled with dread. The girls were nice to me. A couple of them actually touched my hand. I was nervous. I wondered what Mrs. Peek had planned. Was she going to tell the girls that I was a boy? And if she did how would they react? I was about to find out. Mrs. Peek came into the classroom and shut the door behind her. She looked at the faces looking at her and nodded a greeting. I relaxed slightly. She took role and then called me to the front of the class. Now I was scared. She pointed to a spot on the floor and I stood by it. Next she called up three of the girls and they stood next to me. She looked at us and smiled. I was confused.

"Class, today we are doing something different." she began, "Look at the four students in front of you and taking a piece of paper, please write down as many differences that you can see. You have five minutes to do this, starting now." She wandered around the class as the girls looked at us and wrote on their paper. When the five minutes were over, she collected the pages and began reading the results. I cringed, and then relaxed because no one wrote that I was a boy. I was skinny, had a pretty face and some of the girls were jealous of my chest. Another said that she wanted to be my friend because I attracted the good looking boys. One of the girls was taller than me and one smaller. Most of the stuff written was the same. Oh, yea they did say I dressed more like a boy as I wore pants all the time. Mrs. Peek asked the four of us if we had any comments to make about each other. A couple of the girls said I had a nicer bust and one thought I had prettier hair that was all. Then Mrs. Peek asked if we had anything to say to the class. She went down the line calling on each girl, then me. I stood there in shock. She came up to me and said it was ok. I took a deep breath and told them I was a boy. They didn't believe me. Especially after yesterday. One of the girls asked me to prove it, but Mrs. Peek said that was not going to happen. Then the girl that had asked me to prove it said that just proved I was a girl. She said that boys liked to show-off. I turned red at that.

No one in the class would believe I was a boy. Scary! Mrs. Peek said that on Saturday she was going to be at J. C. Penny's in the Eastgate Plaza to do some shopping and that if anyone wanted to they were welcome to join her. The girls started going wild about that. I thought it was just shopping. What did I know? One of the girls asked if I was going to be there and I said I didn't know. Then Mrs. Peek said that I would be there and several of the girls said that they would come too. Oh, joy. Yuk!

Saturday came and I tried to forget about the shopping with Mrs. Peek. Not so my Dad. It seems that Mrs. Peek had called him and volunteered the information about Saturday morning and added that it was a class function. Dad asked me if I was going and when I said "No" he just handed me thirty dollars and said to have a nice time. He also gave Sally Five dollars. Of course Sally was anxious to go and dragged me out of the house to the bus stop.

We got to the shopping plaza a few minutes after ten and headed for J. C. Penny's. Mrs. Peek was there and smiled as we arrived. Several of the girls were there and they made happy noises at Sally. Sally was in girl heaven. She was the focus of attention and from big girls, too. She was talking rapidly and smiling. I had to admit, I was happy for her. With just Dad and me, she didn't get a lot of female attention. She deserved more. I smiled at her good fortune. The girls from the Home Ec class were eager to talk to her about me and Sally always was a blabber mouth. They asked about all kinds of things as I tuned them out. I followed along keeping her in sight and smiling occasionally. Finally they asked the big question "Was I really a boy?" and my sister just said 'No' and kept on talking.

Now to be honest with you, I had prepped Sally on this issue some time before. As I took her shopping and had to occasionally go into the dressing rooms with her, she would call me Mom or Sis as the occasion demanded. She thought that today was one of those occasions. The girls just smiled at her answer. Sally grabbed my hand and pulled me along when she saw me lagging behind. What I didn't know was that the girls told her to bring me into the Lingerie department. They had seen my boobs at school and thought that I should buy some nice bras and panties. I was embarrassed again. Sally was having a lot of fun, though.

As we approached the Lingerie section, I hesitated. Mrs. Peek said "Girls, just go ahead, I want to talk to Jean for a moment. Oh and watch Sally, please." The girls took off towards the displays. Mrs. Peek looked thoughtfully for a moment and then said "Jean, I really need to talk to you. Having met your sister, I can see the affection there; actually, it's almost maternal. You have told me your story and I believe you. What you don't believe is that you are just too good to be true. Look at your classmates, natural girls, each of them, but are they? What I mean is that you may have been born a boy, but have grown into a nice and dare I say, pretty young lady. I've been watching you and Sally and you're her mother, make no mistake about that. We've got to catch up with the class, but do me a favor, let them treat you to something nice. Just be the pretty girl we all know you are. Now, come on, let's catch up." Mrs. Peek took my hand and led me into the Lingerie section. The girls showed me bras and panties and other things. I was beet red, but they just giggled and kept it up. Mrs. Peek told them my mom had never shopped with me and that's why I was embarrassed. The only thing I knew about girls clothes was helping Sally and the Sears catalog.

The girls had a quick council and Helen took charge of me. She asked a Sales Lady for help and selected some 'things' for me. As I had worn a pair of shorts, Helen selected a new style of underpants called 'French Cut’; they were cut high on the sides and showed a lot of leg. The girls agreed that I would look great in them with my shapely legs. Helen also selected a pretty white lacy bra. Sally thought it was real cute and wanted to get one. I told her she'd have to wait for a few years at least, but she could get a pretty camisole. The Sales Lady heard this and asked "Would you like matching sets?"

Sally was quick and replied "Let's do that. It'd be fun." The Sales Lady went to the find the items and the girls stared at me. I watched as Sally looked at the displays. She smiled as she held up an article for me to see. "Look, mommy, it's so pretty."

The girls let out a gasp as Sally finished her statement and turned their heads to me. Their eyes big, Helen broke the tension by asking "Umm, I thought Sally was your sister. Why'd she call you Mommy?"

I tried to explain, but no words came from my mouth. Sally saved me by saying "She raised my like a mommy so I get to call her mommy sometimes. I know she's my sister, but because I, we, don't got no more mommy, she's like my mommy." She looked up at me and smiled, then said "Looks like I forgot. Huh?"

I hugged her and said "No, Sweetie, it's ok. I miss Mommy, too, so I can be your mommy." Several of the girls hugged us both.

The Sales Lady returned with her arms full of items. She laid them out on a table and began talking about the materials used to make them and how they were supposed to support a girl's body. Sally stood, wide eyed, as the lady talked. When the lady finished, Sally looked at me and I said "Go ahead, Honey, pick out a nice set for yourself." Sally quickly began touching the clothing and soon had a pretty peach colored set in her hands. She turned to me and said "Here, hold them, I'll get yours." She turned back to the table. A few minutes later she held out a set that were a light green, with a hint of blue. The Panties were the 'French Cut' and the bra had a lot of lace around the cups. They were pretty. Seeing our selection, the Sales Lady asked if we wanted to try them on. Sally was eager to do that and we were taken to a fitting room.

Halfway to the Fitting Room, Helen steered us to a display of dresses. Her eyes were wide as she looked at the styles and colors. She picked up a bluish colored dress and held it in front of her, kind of like a napkin. She looked at the dress and spying a mirror, walked over to it and resumed holding the dress in front of her. Her right hand held the dress across her chest and she played with the skirt with her left hand. With a smile on her face, she twirled around and started to giggle. It is a lovely sound, very becoming.

Helen saw me watching and beckoned for me to come over to her. Sally pulled me over and Helen handed me the dress as she took the items from my hands. She placed the dress in front of me and smiled. "Whataya think Jean? It's pretty. Why don't you try it on, too?" She didn't wait for my reply, but pulled me to the fitting room. Sally was smiling because she has tried to get me to wear a dress for a long time and now she'll see me in one.

In the fitting room, Sally quickly took off her top and put on the new camisole. She looked in the mirror and smiled. "How do I look?" Seeing her smile, what can I say "You look pretty, Honey." Sally turned back to the mirror and swiveled herself around trying to see all of her. I just laughed. "Uh, can I put on the panties?" she asked. I nod my head yes and she quickly pulled off her pants and old panties. Holding the new one up, she stepped into them and pulled them around her waist. Using her thumbs, she traced the outline of the leg seams and turned her bottom towards the mirror as she adjusted the fit. Her smile was wide as she squealed "Oh, Mommy, I love them!" I smiled at her exuberance as she posed in front of the mirror.

The Sales Lady opened the curtain and asked "How does everything fit?"

Sally smiled and said "Great!", and then turning towards me she says "Mommy, can I wear them home?"

I just say "Yes." and fail to see the look on the Sales Lady's face. She makes a throat clearing noise and I ask if it's alright.

"Just let me pull the price tags, so I can ring them up." She reached for Sally and removed a paper tag from the camisole and taking the opened bag of panties, she left the fitting room.

"Ok, Sally, get dressed." I say this as I do the math. The camisole is $2.49 and the panties are in a three pack for $2.99, Sally only has five dollars and she needs at least two dollars more. As I do not need or want girl's underwear, this gets me off the hook of buying underwear for me. Bringing Sally has turned out to be lucky. With Sally dressed, we exit the fitting room.

As we walk towards the Sales Lady, I see another sales lady looking at me. She nods her head and smiles, and then looks away. It seems odd to me. A few minutes ago the sales ladies were being very nice, but now they act differently. I hand the Sales Lady twenty dollars to pay for Sally's undies and she hardly looks at me. I take my change and as I turn to leave she says "You're not buying any fancy lingerie for your husband to see?"

Without thinking I reply "I'm not married."

The Sales lady is quick and replies, icily "Girls like you never are." She has a smile on her face as she says this, then quickly finishes with "Please don't come back. We don't want your kind here."

Red with embarrassment, I guide Sally to the door. Sally tries to steer me in another direction, but I keep control. "Sally, didn't you hear that lady. She told us to leave, we better go home." Sally looks confused and doesn't get it, but I do. "Sally, she heard you in the fitting room calling me mommy. She thinks you're my daughter, for real. That's why she told us to leave."

Sally didn’t' get it. Instead she said "I'll just tell her you’re my brother. It'll be ok." Poor Sally. That would only make the lady madder.

"Look, Sally, you can't tell her anything. She could get me in trouble, maybe even jail. I was in a lady's changing room and maybe broke a law or something. Just, let's go home and forget it." I pointed her towards the door and home. I looked around to see if any of the class was watching and thanked God for helping me get away. I wanted Sally to have a good time, but not here and not now. I'd make it up to her. At the Bus Stop, I said "Uh, Sally, don't say anything about this to daddy. Ok?" 'Did I just say daddy?' I thought to myself.

"Why, we didn't do nothing wrong."

"I know, Honey, but those people think we did. That lady thinks I am your mommy and she probably told the other lady. They think I'm bad and..." I was thinking hard about how to finish this conversation when the bus arrived. We got on and sat down. Sally was quiet for a while and I just sat and watched her. A lady near us asked "How old is she?" pointing to Sally.

"She's seven." I replied.

"Oh, I remember when mine was that young. She sure is a cutie, looks like her Mommy." the lady smiled.

Just playing it safe I said "Thank you." There was an A&W Root Beer stand coming up and I gathered up Sally and we got off the bus. It was lunch time, so we had Root Beer Floats and a Hot Dog. After lunch we walked the rest of the way home. Dad was off today and awake when we came in the door.

"How was the shopping trip?"

"Ok." I replied, and then added "Sally got a new top and some new style underwear. She's pretty happy about them, on the way home we stopped at the A&W for lunch."

Dad smiled his million dollar smile and said "Sounds like you two had a good time. Hey, wanna go out for dinner?"

"Uh, sure, just tell me when so I can get Sally cleaned up." I replied. What he said next threw me.

"Um, no, just you and me. Sally can stay with Carol." Carol was a lady that Dad was seeing. They were old friends. They had gone to high school together and she and mom had been friends, too. "There's a Father-Daughter Dinner at the Lodge and she thought that I should take you."

"Da-a-ad, I can't go to a Father-Daughter dinner. I'm a boy. She knows that."

Dad looked at me and said "Does she really. I wonder. Every time she's here you two chat like old friends and it's always about the house or cooking or Sally. Then she sees you do the cooking and cleaning and run the house. Heck, even Mark reacted to the way you handled things. How many boys, let alone brothers act like that? Look, I'm not complaining, but Carol just doesn't see you as a boy. She's even told me how pretty you are and how much you look like your mom."

I didn't know what to say. Sure I did all that, who wouldn't? I loved my Dad and sister and someone had to take care of things and beside with my 'condition' it's not like I could get a date, even if it is 1975. Then it occurred to me, I had a way out of this mess. I said "Um, dad, you know that a Daughter would have to wear a dress. That kind of lets me out, don't you think?"

Dad smiled at my comment and replied "Yea, I can see that there'd be a problem, but Carol said that she can fix that. She said for me to call her and she'd come over and help you get ready. That is if you want to go."

Why did I feel trapped? That darn Home Ec class, the sales lady and now this. I did the only thing I could; I got up and went to my room. On the way, I said "I'll think about it." 'Just not too hard' I thought as I closed my bedroom door.

I looked at the time and saw it was still early afternoon. Dad had Sally downstairs and I had nothing to do, so I pulled off my shirt and pants and lay on my bed. I pulled the cover over me and settled in for a nice nap. I had been getting tired lately and quickly fell asleep.

It was dark when I woke up and my body felt like crap. My mouth was dry and papery. My lips felt thick and when I tried to open my eyes, they felt heavy. I could hear someone in my room and I tried sitting. My head felt heavy and I heard voices. "Doctor, she's coming around." and "Just rest for a moment, I'll get something to wipe your face." I wondered if I was dreaming.

A hand held my wrist and then replaced it. I felt something wet on my face and near my eyes. I tried to reach for the wet thing, but was blocked. "Let me do it. Just a little more then, you can open your eyes." I didn't have a choice and waited, then as I heard I could open my eyes. The light was dim and I saw a couple of shapes.

"Dad?"

"Yea, Gene, I'm here."

"Dad, what's wrong with me?"

Another voice answered "I don't know. You've been sleeping for three days and we don't know why. I took blood samples and a urine sample, I just don't know. What I do know is that you're anemic and need fluids. I didn't want to give you any fluids outside of a hospital and you need to drink now. My nurse will help you while I talk with your dad. I'll leave you in her good hands."

Someone held me up and a glass was put into my hands. "Here's a straw. Just take small sips to begin with." I sucked in the cool water. "That's a good girl. Drink some more." I did. "Honey, your little girl wants to see you if you feel up to it. Ok?" I nodded 'Yes' without realizing what she said.

I heard Sally run across the floor and climb on the bed. She threw her arms around me and said "Mommy, I was so scared for you. Don't leave me, Mommy. Please."

I just hugged her and held her close. "I won't leave you, Sweetie. I love you too much." I just lay in bed and sipped the water. Sally held me tight. I fell asleep with Sally in my arms.

When I woke up, the nurse was still there. "Feeling better?"

"Yea, some...gotta pee." I managed.

"Here," she said extending her arm, "let me help you." The covers were pulled off and I sat up. She had me wait for a few seconds, and then helped me stand. Standing, I realized that I was wearing a 'night gown'. I looked at it and said "Wha, what am I wearing?"

The nurse just said "This is what you had on when we got here; you were lying on the bed covers. After the doctor examined you, your dad and Carol helped get you comfortable."

I looked down and grimaced, adding "But, I, uh...” I didn't know what to say.

The nurse finished filled in for me. "The lady, Carol is her name, said it matched your panties. Now let's get you to the toilet, and then maybe cleaned up a little." She helped me to the bathroom and left me standing by the toilet. I pulled up the gown and I was shocked to see that I was wearing matching panties. My body said it needed to pee and I pulled the panties down and just sat. It was easier because I was unsteady on my feet. I heard the water being splashed and felt relief flood my body. I used some paper to dry myself then stood and pulled up the panties, making sure I was comfortable in the crotch. My gown fell around my body and I went to the sink to wash.

When I looked in the mirror, I let out a sharp gasp and the nurse came running in. "Are you ok?" she asked. I just stared into the mirror. Again the nurse spoke "Tell me what's wrong, so I can help you." My mind was not on the nurse, but the girl in the mirror. I tried to say something, but it came out wrong.

It came out as "Who's she?" I was pointing to my reflection.

The nurse smiled and said "I guess you've been out of it for a while. That's you, Honey. A real pretty girl, too." I stared at the reflection but didn’t see myself. No, I saw Mom staring at me. I got a little dizzy and the nurse walked me back to the bed. After helping me get comfortable, the nurse said "Honey, you got some visitors and I'll leave you for a few minutes. Here's a bell if you need anything, just ring, I'll be able to hear it." She placed the bell, like the kind used on counters, by my bed and left the room as Carol came in.

"Hi, Gene, feeling better?" Her smile was thin and her lips compressed. She looked like she was holding something back.

"Uh, yea, much better, I think." I replied.

"That's good, you had us worried. Sally was really upset. She kept calling for her Mommy. We didn't know that to do." There was still something in her voice and face that she wasn't saying.

"Um, Carol, I've known you for a long time, right?' She nodded 'Yes'. "Well then, tell me what's wrong."

She smiled thinly again and said "Am I that transparent?" This time I nodded 'Yes'. She continued "It's just that I had to change you after you had your accident in the bed and I, ah, I, this is hard to say." she stopped talking.

"Come on, out with it. What's the big deal?" Again with the thin smile, this was getting me nowhere fast.

This time Carol wouldn't look me in the face. What the heck as wrong? I guess there's only one way to find out. I pushed off the covers and pulled up my gown. I tossed it to the floor as Carol watched. I scooted sideways in bed and with my feet on the floor, I stood, unsteady, but I stood. I hooked my thumbs into the elastic waist of my underpants and shoved them down. I stepped out of them and looked into the wall mirror on the back of the door. I almost fell and Carol came to me, giving me support. I looked in the mirror again and gasped at what I saw. My penis was almost non-existent. I reached down and touched it. It felt different, barely there. I stroked it to see if it would get bigger, but even with Carol at my side, nothing. I should tell you that Carol is a knock-out at 5 feet 7 inches tall, 132 pounds and a 36 B+ bust, long reddish brown hair and brown eyes. Even with her helping to hold me, nothing. Not even a twitch. Something was wrong. The tears started to fill my eyes and I turned and held on to Carol as I started to openly sob. Carol guided me back to the bed and sat me on the edge. She helped me with my underpants, which I saw weren't my usual boy type, but girls panties. Carol helped me stand as I pulled them up and my 'equipment' didn't even make a dent in the front of them. I sat back on the bed and Carol handed me the night gown. I took it and put it on. She helped me get back in a comfortable position and sat beside me. I felt her arm across my shoulders as I cried.

"Carol, what's wrong with me?" I cried.

"I don't know, Honey. The doctor did some test and he's stumped. I noticed your thing was kind of small when I changed you, but even now it looks smaller. I'm sorry." There were tears in her eyes. "Come on; let's get you situated before Sally comes back in." She helped me to a sitting position. The little movement that I did seemed to make me weak. She got me covered and asked if I wanted some make-up on. I didn't know, so she showed me a mirror. I guess I needed some. Wait a minute, make-up. I didn't use make-up.

"Uh, Carol, I don't use make-up."

Carol looked at me and said "Honestly Rose, you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your body. You've been wearing make-up since you were 15 years old." That said she flashed me a big smile.

"Uh, Carol, I'm not Rose. I'm Gene, her son. Remember?" This was the first time someone had called me Rose, my mother's nickname.

Carol stared at me, and then her eyes blinked. She was looking at my face real hard, and then I heard her gasp. "Oh my God, Gene, I thought I was seeing Rose for a second there. Oh, I'm so sorry." She grasped my hand and continued talking. "It's just that you look like Rose. It's uncanny." I've seen pictures of my mother and I don't look like her. I take after Dad. Of course no one on his side of the family had 'boy boobs' but I looked like him in the face, at least I thought. I was thinking about this when someone knocked on the door. Carol opened the door and Sally came in followed by the nurse.

"Mommy, you feeling better?" the question was written all over her face.

"Yes, Honey, I'm doing much better."

She had climbed on to the bed and was looking at my face, then said "Your face is shiny."

I smiled and replied "Maybe I need a little blusher and some powder." Where did that come from? I wondered.

I was tired and a little hungry. I knew I didn't do much, but it wore me out. "Sally, dear, can you and daddy get me some chicken noodle soup. You'll have to ask the doctor if it's ok, if he's still here. While you're doing that I can get Carol to help me look better. Ok?" Sally nodded 'Yes' and I gave her a kiss on the cheek. She climbed down and went out the door. I smiled as I watched her go. I could hear her call "Daddy, Mommy wants to eat."

After I heard Sally's feet on the stairs, I asked Carol "Uh, can you help me look nicer for daddy?" She smiled and said "Yes, I'd be glad to. Give me a moment and I'll be right back." That said she left the room and I waited. The Nurse took the time to check my pulse and other things. She asked me how I felt and I told her. She wrote all this down on a clip-board and then resumed her seat.

I lay back and began to wonder what was happening to me. Carol called me 'Rose' and seemed confused about who I really was. Dad seemed normal to me and Sally was or was she confused too. Thinking back Sally had been calling me 'Mommy' an awful lot and not just when we were out of the house. The Nurse seems to think that Sally is my daughter and doesn't even question it. Then there was the reflection in the mirror. If I was asked I'd have to say it was Mom when she was younger, except like I said, I know I look like dad. Maybe I'm thinking too hard.

Carol came back carrying an assortment of what, small bottles and containers. She set them on my dresser and began fussing with them. She looked at me and bringing a bottle, she wet a small piece of something and stroked it on my face. She moved back and nodded, then "Yes, that will be a good color." She continued painting my face and using stuff from the assorted containers, brushed this way and that on my face. At last she put down her brushes and picked up a hand mirror. She waved the mirror in front of me and I let out a gasp. I saw my mother looking back at me.

The nurse was smiling and said "You are a very pretty lady."

"Yes, yes she is!" added Carol. "As beautiful as...” Her words were cut off by Daddy's entrance. Daddy?

"Here you go...” there was a shocked look on Daddy's face as he looked at me. “Uh, Rose?" His eyes swiveled back to Carol and the next thing we heard was a loud crash as he fell to the floor.

Carol rushed to him and tried to get him up. The nurse handed her something and she waved it under his nose. That soon had him pushing her hand away. Carol and the nurse helped him to his feet and sat him in a chair. "Wha...wha...what happened?" he asked groggily.

"You came in, looked at Gene, said 'Rose' and fainted." This from Carol. "Better now?"

Dad shook his head and then looked up at me. "Sorry, it's just that, uhhh..." His voice trailed off. He was looking at me with a strange expression on his face.

"Da, daddy, are you ok?" I asked.

"Huh, what, oh, yea, I'm fine, Honey." He said as he got up. "How's my girl doing? Okay?" He smiled.

"Uh, Dad, I'm Gene, remember."

Again he was spaced-out and replied "Huh, what?"

"I'm Gene, remember, your son." I saw the nurse recoil from the corner of my eye.

Dad looked lost again and said distractedly "Uh, let me get another bowl of soup. Sally, you keep Mommy company." He left the room with head lowered. I could hear him muttering, but not make out the words. Sally came over and climbed on the bed and hugged me.

All this time the nurse was looking around the room at me, then Carol, then Sally and back to me. Finally, she cleared her throat and said "Did I hear you right, you're his son?" Her face looked skeptical.

"Uh, yea, Gene, son." I smiled weakly.

"I don't think so. And I should know a girl when I see one." She said then smiled. Now it was my time to give a questioning look.

She opened her mouth and added, "I had to clean you up too and you're all girl." She pointed with her chin to my privates and said, "Go ahead, look."

Carol and Sally were watching. I eased Sally to the end of the bed and hesitated, then forced the cover down. I looked up and they smiled in encouragement. I pulled the bottom of my nightgown up and put a hand on my panties then I remembered what I had seen when I had to pee earlier and then again standing next to Carol. I couldn't move lower. I was scared and pulled my hands away from my panties. I hastily pulled down my gown and motioned for Sally to give me the cover. I lay there sobbing. What was happening to me? Carol sat beside me and I leaned into her for support.

The nurse had gone down stairs and called the doctor. He came upstairs with dad in tow. Both men stood at the bedroom door and surveyed the scene. “Ok, what’s the crying for young lady?” asked the doctor.

I tried to hold back a sob, but had to let it pass, then said “Me. I’m a freak!”

The doctor smiled and replied, “No. You are definitely not a freak. Your body is changing, but that doesn’t make you a freak.”

“Huh? Wha…” my voice trailed off.

The doctor smiled again and sat at the bedside. “I need a specialist to help with this, but I think that the shock you received from your mother’s death somehow triggered something in your body. Add caring for your father, your brother and a baby sister and presto chango. Kind of like a magician does his tricks, your body did a trick. The strain on your body also and here I’m guessing, caused all the changes. You need to relax and let your body to accept the changes. Now, I need to consult a specialist and arrange an appointment. Just rest easy and don’t over exert yourself. You can get out of bed and move around a bit, but be careful.” His smiled filled his face as he finished explaining. Turning he looked at Carol and asked “Carol, will you be available to help Gene?” Carol nodded ‘Yes’. I guess I looked confused. Carol came over and held my hand. Dad just smiled and then shrugged his shoulders. I didn’t know what to do and just pulled Carol to me. I knew I was different, now I knew why. Maybe?

I felt better that evening and dad helped me downstairs. I ate a little more and after a check by the nurse, we were left on our own. The next day I missed school and puttered around the house. Looking in a mirror took some getting used to. I knew at some point I’d have to go back to school and dreaded that day. By my count it was Wednesday evening and I should return to school tomorrow, Thursday.

Thank the lord for Carol. I think dad thanked him too. She brought her daughter Jenny over Wednesday evening and they spent the night. Jenny is a cutie. Sally and her immediately liked each other and spent the night together. Jenny is a year younger, but they make a pair, kind of spooky. Carol slept in the guest room and in the morning, she helped me get ready for school. I still wore pants, but she insisted that I wear the right kind of upper wear, meaning a bra. She also insisted on a little make-up.

The amazing thing was that school that day was a no-brainer. I turned in my doctor’s note and went to class as usual. No one took notice of me at all. I heard a few comments, but they were mostly positive. The girls in Home Ec were wild when I returned. Seeing me in a real bra and a decent top and make-up, only re-enforced their opinion, the one about me being a tom-boy. Mrs. Peek asked to speak with me after class and I was pleased with her acceptance. She had called and spoken to dad and Carol.

My life was restarting from the looks of it. Mark was to come home on leave and he was a little shocked to see a younger mom in the house. Imagine his amazement when he was told it was me! Of course, he had seen early evidence of my changing body, at least the top part. After talking to him, he gave me a hug and said “Heck, why not? You’ve mothered us all for years, seems right that you’d look like her.” I figured the Army was doing him some good.

But I had turned 16 and wanted it all. Dating, driving, everything. Problem was that I couldn’t have it all. Not even a part of it. I didn’t want to date boys and no girl would admit to liking other girls. Yea, it was the mid 70s, but people looked down on that kind of stuff. As far as driving, my birth certificate had me down as a boy, yet I looked like a girl. There was nothing to do about it.

Carol became a constant companion and we spent a lot of time together. Jenny was often at our house and one day Sally said “Come on, sis, let’s go to my room and play.” I started to reply, but was cut off when Jenny shouted “Last one there is a rotten egg.” She took off running with Sally close behind. I heard Carol laughing.
“What’s so funny?”

Carol put her hand up to her mouth and said “Nothing.”

“Tell me.”

Carol took me aside and told me how well Sally and Jenny got along and how they called each other ‘sister’. I guess I hadn’t seen it and I thought Sally had been talking to me. I was glad to see her happy and playing with someone her own age. That put a thought in my head. ‘Hmm, what about Carol and Dad?’

Now the next part was harder. How does a 16 year old play matchmaker for his dad and an old high school sweetheart? I didn’t have any idea. The answer came in the form of Madeline’s Beauty Depot. Carol decided that I needed to do something with my hair and she made us appointments. We went to this salon and it turned out that she knew the owner, Madeline. I was given a facial, a manicure and a perm and haircut. Madeline took personal care of me and could she ever talk. She said working in a salon was like being a priest. People told you all kinds of secrets. I told her I was a boy and did she ever laugh.

Madeline had known Carol for a long time. She had gone to high school with her. Mom and dad had been in the same class. When I told her that Rosemarie was my mother, she almost cried. Then I told her about the accident and she did cry. She asked how we were doing and I mentioned dad working a lot and me left with the house work and raising Sally. I said that Carol was a big help. That’s when she said that Dad and Carol had a thing in high school. I perked up. I wanted to hear more and she didn’t disappoint me.

Madeline was a talker. She knew all the juicy gossip and she also knew the dirt. She told about Mom and carol during school and after school. Of course, she did edit some of the stories. Get her started and Madeline was a willing talker. I decided that I needed her advice and told her my thoughts.

“Uh, Maddie, can you help me?”

“Help with what?”

I outlined my idea for Dad and Carol. I told her what I had seen and how Dad acted when Carol was around. I talked about Sally and Jenny. I tried to tell her everything. After I finished she asked “Ok, what about you?”

I didn’t understand what she meant. She explained that if Carol was to be a bigger part of our life as a family member, how would I feel? I had thought about this and said “It just seems… It’s hard to explain, but somehow it just feels right.” I know that didn’t say it right, but Madeline just looked at me and nodded her head. I remembered an old line from a Sherlock Holmes movie, ‘The games afoot.’ It seemed appropriate.

Maddie and I became conspirators. She set dad up on a series of dreadful dates and made sure Carol knew all about them. It was funny to watch them together. Maddie even went so far as to tell Carol that if she didn’t want Fred to just walk away. She said that Carol’s companionship was hurting dad and keeping him from finding someone else. Whatever went on between Maddie and Carol worked.

Carol came over to the house one day and said “Uh, Gene, I know that…” She stopped when dad walked in the room.

“Oh, hi Carol.” Dad smiled.

“Uh, hi Fred.”

“So what are you two planning now?”

“Uh, nothing really. I just came by to tell Gene something.” Carol looked nervous.

Dad raised his eyebrows and said “Oh, should I leave the room so you can talk privately?”

Carol smiled thinly and said “No, that’s not necessary. In fact it concerns you, too.” Dad had a strange look on his face and waited for her to continue. “Uh, that is, I don’t think that I should be spending a lot of time here anymore. You seem to have things well in hand and don’t need me to butt in.” She looked at dad and added “And since you’re dating again, well it’s for the best.” She stood and headed for the door.

Dad got it! He set down his drink and rushed after Carol. I followed at a slower pace. They were on the walk-way hugging each other. Both had great big smiles on their faces as they walked back into the house.

I hurried into the kitchen and tried to be surprised when dad spoke. “Uh, Gene, there’s something we’d like you to know.” His face said it all. Carol was smiling from ear to ear and had a glow.

I walked across the room and gave them a huge hug. “So, when’s the wedding?”

Dad looked like he’d been hit, but Carol smiled more, if possible and said “You knew all along, didn’t you?”

We told Sally and Jenny that night and a few days later Mark was told. Dad seemed better somehow. It was like a load had been lifted from him and I saw a new side of him, a side that had been lost, but now was found.

The wedding was set for the end of February 1976 to coincide with Mark’s leave. He was the best man and I was the Maid of Honor. Sally and Jenny were flower girl and ring bearer. The ceremony as small and a few close friends and family were invited. Maddie was there and caught the bouquet.

That was the beginning of the end of my story. A few weeks later I woke up in pain. My chest hurt and I was wet with sweat. Carol called the doctor and took me in to see him. He did the usual poking and stuff and finally said “Gene, it seems that your Gynecomastia is going away. Your breast tissue is different from your last exam and your waist seems to be a little bigger. We’ll just watch for any other changes and see what happens.”

My body was changing again. This time I was going back to my original boy form. The change was gradual and took about 4 months to complete. Looking in the mirror, I no longer saw mom staring back at me. By the time summer rolled around, I was all boy and guess what, my penis even got stiff.

I finished high school. I got a few strange looks at the beginning of the year, but I had shot up over the summer, both in height and weight. The girls just accepted me and I even dated a few times. After graduation I went on to college. I wanted to be a doctor and studied hard. I finished my residency two years ago and now treat people suffering from rare genetic disorders. Thinking about my time as a girl in high school, I smile. That time has made me the man I am today.

Oh, Carol and Dad are going on a cruise for their 14th year Anniversary, they just don’t know it yet.

During an excavation of Native American Artifacts in Northern New Mexico, remnants of a Village were discovered. Native American Historians were called in to assist the Archeologist and to provide background and historical perspective. In a too large clay pot, a fur was found carefully rolled and tied. The pot was in bad repair and with the help of key members of the teams, the fur was removed and recovered. To the wonder of the Research personnel, the skin side of the fur had been written on in a crude style of Printing. The following was transcribed from the skin. Researchers note the while the narrative is entertaining, ascertaining the truth of the story would be dificult indeed. Still the following was inscribed on the skin.

I am old now and have lived with the people as I come to call them for many Summers. I have seen the whites come into our land and take what we have. I have seen the people move farther and farther into the mountains and still the white ones come. My heart is heavy and my eyes grow wet at the changes I have seen. I wasn't always old as you see me, but once I was young. I was even a boy. My children's children think I am chewing the 'root', but I was a boy. And it was long ago that I was one of the despised whites. I put my story on my sleeping skins and maybe someday the Great Spirit will reveal the truth to all man. My hand grows weak and I tire easily. My children's children watch me and wait for me to take the long sleep. I must write what I have seen before I sleep.

Hot. Hot and dry. The weather didn't change much. I had to get out of this place. But where to go. Near as I could figure, I had been walking for about 1 or 2 months. Alone. I did alright at the begining making maybe 20 miles a day. I walked with the mountains to my right. Mornings the sun on my left and as the day went on, it was on right. I still carried a small pack of fixins and a canteen. I knew what plants to eat and once in a while I got me a bird or a rabbit. I had made a sling shot out of a pair of Ma's garters I found in our old wagon. Wasn't much, but it helped. I was hungry, but didn't starve. Stopping I studied the skyline and was just about to turn away when I saw it. Dust. Maybe a rider. Comming this way. I set out for the dust and walked one foot in front of the other.

I remember the day we set out for Oregon. Just the word filled us with fanciful visions. Some said that the ocean was there and a river so big that made God cry. Pa and me worked the oxen and Ma and my little sister helped out with camp stuff. We had started with a overland party, but had got seperated when some of the wagons got the sickness. We got the sickness too and my sister died. Ma cried all night. I know Pa cried too, but he didn't show the tears. After we buried my sister, we started again and was doing ok, then Ma got sick. I had to take care of her till the end. It was hard. I was only 14 years old and had never seen a female undressed and I had to take care of my Ma. She said it was ok and she talked to me. She told me stories and family history. At the end she must have been out of her mind with the fever cause she said "Jesse, you take care of your Pa now. He needs a good woman to help guide him and do for him. That's your job. You're gonna be a beautiful girl some day. I'll miss you." Then she died while I was holding her. Pa came over to us as he heard my crying.

After we buried Ma, we set out again. Did ok for a while, then the wagon broke a wheel and we had no spare. Pa set up camp and we looked over our posessions and set aside what we was going to take with us. Pa rigged a pack out of the wagon top to put on the oxen and come morning we set out again. We could see some mountains in the distance and Pa said to head for a certain pass. He showed me where it was and we kept walking. There was snow on the mountain and Pa said he was sorry. He said that he lost track of time and forgot what month it was. We had started out in late April and it was now October. Snow had set in in the higher elevations and we were in a bind.

That night we camped early and scouted the area. In the morning, Pa led me to a stand of young pine trees and he marked the ones he was to cut. As he cut the trees, I pulled them to a clearing and using a hatchet cut off the branches. I laid the trees in one pile and the branches in another. When Pa thought we had plenty, we fixed a drag and using one of the ox pulled the trees to our campsite. We made a second trip for the branches and after getting a bite to eat, we set about making a shelter. Pa had us build a modified Lean-to. Instead of the roof touching the ground, we built a low back wall. The building took about four days to complete. We used the branches as beds and covered the top with pine straw and rocks. There was water nearby and Pa shot a mule deer. We would be ok. Pa kept working on the shelter and had a small hearth in one end of it. We cut wood and pulled in felled trees so we would have fire wood. I found some game runs and we set traps and snares. There was also a small stream and we fished. I'm not saying it was easy, but we made it through the winter. Cept that Pa lost a lot of weight and I changed too.

Finally the weather was clearing up. Both Pa and me needed a bath. I headed for the stream and cleanliness. I stripped off my clothes and just jumped in the water. It was cold. I felt my manhood draw up and my chest draw up too. When I looked at my chest something didn't look right. I looked swoll up, and it hurt. I rubbed my chest and it felt better, though. Using some fine grit from the stream botton, I scrubbed at the dirt on my body. It may sound strange, but I got clean. I scrubbed all over. I even used some of the grit in my hair. I had to rinse out my hair several times. but finally I was clean. I washed out my clothes and got out of the water and pulled my boots on. Grabbing my wet clothes, I walked back to the lean-to to get my other clothes. I wasn't ashamed of being naked and there was no one to see me, anyway. I hung my wet clothes over some branches and went inside.

Pa was inside and as I stood there I heard him say "Damn". He looked away from me and acted real different as I pulled on my dry pants and shirt. After I was dressed, he said that he was going hunting and for me to stay put. He'd be back later. He took up the gun and left. I got busy doin' things. Pa had some stuff that needed cleaning and I set it aside. I removed some of the older bedding and got fresh. I restocked the kindling and firewood and then taking Pa's stuff, I headed for the stream. After washing his stuff, I threw it over some branches to dry. My clothes were dry and I folded them and put them inside. I refilled the water bucket and hunted up some greens.

I had been watching the sky and it was getting dark. Pa was still out and I was worried bout him. I set outside listening for him. Finally late in the night I heard a noise come towards the camp and I heard someone fall down. I went to the noise and it was Pa. I helped him up and he was hurt. His leg was tore open and I could tell he was hurt real bad. I got him to the camp and he leaned against the lean-to. I got a rag and some water and washed his leg. I had to cut the pants leg open and then cut some branches for a splint. It was bad. I fixed it up as good as I could. Pa fell asleep and I covered him and sat by him. I did start a fire to help keep off the chill and it was a good thing I did. Pa was hurting in the morning.

I heated some water and cleaned his wound again. Using some moss, I boiled it to make a poltice for his leg. I also cut up some left over meat and made a thin broth for him to drink. He didn't take much and began to cough. I kept him warm and checked his leg as often as I could. It was lookin bad and three days later, he had red streaks running up his leg. I was scared. Pa was crazy with fever and called out to Ma. I would see what he wanted and he would just smile and then drift back into his fevered sleep. He wasn't getting better and after a week, he died in his sleep. I was alone.

I knew I couldn't stay there so I looked over our possibles and decided what to take with me. I set the Oxen loose and used the rest of the wagon top to put my gear in. I rolled it up and tied the ends with rope. I slung it over my shoulder and got ready to set out for ..well, I guess Oregon. I'd figure it out. First though I set fire to the lean-to and watched as the flames rose into the sky. I cried briefly, maybe for myself or maybe for my family. I don't know.

I headed south keeping the mountains to my right. There was still some big hills, but I had no place to go and didn't want to be caught in the mountains if there was more bad weather. I just walked south. I figured I could walk about 18 to 25 miles a day, maybe more. Depending on the lay of the land. Like I said I had been walking for 1 or 2 months and had passed from the mountains to a more flat land. I headed west, keeping the sun to my back in the morning and front in the later part of the day. It was after a few days that I saw the dust cloud and changed directions again.

Left foot, right foot, repeat, left foot, right foot, repeat. I was tired of walking and had run out of water. I was hot and thirsty and though I saw water in the distance, I just couldn't get it. And the land had dried out, there weren't any plants and I was gonna die. I looked up towards heaven and told Mama that I'd be seeing her real soon and I fell down and just stayed there too tired and weak to get up. I woke up and it was dark. I don't know how long I was asleep, but the moon was full in the night sky. I didn't know whether to be happy that I was alive or sad. As I lay there decidin', I heard a noise behind me. I turned my head and saw a campfire. There was a person coming towards me. I lay still but the person just took a holt of my arm and yanked me to my feet, then force walked me to the fire. As I got into the light of the campfire, I could see that it was a Indian that got me. I thought I was gonna be kilt.

The Indian looked at my face and said somethin, then grabbing a knife from his belt, he cut my shirt down the front. As the cool night air hit my chest, I tried to cover myself with my arms. The movement tore me away from the Indian and I fell. The Indian looked at me and said a word I didn't understand. It sounded like "Uh-oh." I just shook me head in reply. Then the Indian grabbed my leg and I tried to kick him away, but he suceeded in grabbing my pants legs and holding them in the air, he skinned them off me. Now I didn't have no pants on and my shirt was cut. What next. The Indian looked at me then said another word that I didn't get. I just huddled in a ball waiting for the savage to kill me. Instead he went to the campfire and returned with a small carcass that had been roasted. He also held a animal skin bag. He offered these to me and I grabbed at the skin bag, hoping it was water. It was. I began to drink, but the Indian pulled the bag away from my mouth. I was gonna say something, when I started to spew up the contents of my stomach. The Indian watched and after a few minutes, he kicked dirt over my mess and handed me back the water skin. I drank slowly as he watched. Then he tore off a piece of the meat and I chewed and swallowed. It tasted great. I ain't et in several days.

The Indian helped me back to the campfire. He had laid out my possibles and that's where he put me. He dropped the water skin and half of the meat. He sat on his heels as he watched me eat. I knowd that I was almost nekid, but I hadn't et for several days and the water was good. I finished my meal and he smiled. He went and got my pants and put them near me. I pulled them on as he watched. He went to the other side of the fire and shook out a blanket and wrapping it around hisself, he leaned against a rock and closed his eyes. I didn't know what to think, so I just pulled my blanket around me and curled up to sleep.

The sun was in the shy when I woke up. The Indian had his horse ready to go and indicated that I should go with him. I rolled up my possibles and tied off the ends of the roll. I was gonna put it over my shoulder when he picked me up and put me on his horse, then put my roll in front of me. He hopped up behind me and off we went. He put my hands on the horses mane and helped me get steady. We rode for quite a spell. He went back the way I had walked and he found a spring with a small pond by it. He set me on the ground and hobbled his horse, then taking a bow and arrow, he went off. I was alone again. I fetched the water skin and emptied it out, then refilled it from the spring. I made sure to water his horse and then I went into the pond. It was not a big pond, but it felt good to be wet after being dry for so long. I washed my clothes and hung them over rocks to dry. I only had the one set of clothes so I sat next to a rock in the shade resting till my clothes got dry.

When the Indian got back he weren't alone. They was four more of them. They looked at me and kept back. I didn't know why. When the Indian that I was with saw my clothes on the rocks, he pulled them off and threw them to me. They was dry and I put them on. Then he handed me a brace of birds and his knife. I looked at them then picking up the knife, I moved aside and cleaned the birds and tore off the feathers. I cleaned them in water and saved the gizzards and livers. I cut some sticks and after sharpening the ends, I threaded them through the gizzard and livers. I got a bigger stick for the birds and found some wild sage that I rubbed on the birds. The Indians had a fire going and I put the meat to roast over the fire. When the liver looked done, I tasted it and then the Indian I was with, took the stick of it from me and ate it. He made a big smile and the other ones laughed at him. Soon the birds were roasted and they set to eating. Course, they made sure that I got some to eat. I didn't know what to think.

The next morning, I was again on the horse with the Indian. I had pointed to myself and said "Jesse". I think he got it cos he pointed to his chest and said "Ocumgache". I didn't know what it meant, but it was better than calling him Indian. We continued to ride in a westerly direction and actually made it to some rolling hills after two days. Then going up a small valley, we came to a camp. He got off the horse and set me down. A man that looked like an elder came up and they talked. My protector, Ocumgache, as I thought of him, untied the rope from my waist and let my shirt hang open. The Elder's eyes grew big as he looked at my chest, then turning he said some words to some women. Two older women and two young women me into a hut.

I didn't know what to expect. The women took my possessions and set them aside, then, pulling me by the arms, they took me to a stream and pushed me in. Of course I fell and several came in after me. They pulled my clothes off and set me down, then washed me all over. I musta turned red from barassment. They saw the large bumps on my chest and made some noise, but it was nothing like the noise they made when they saw what was a twixt my legs. That's when the old women chased the young ones away and one of the old ones got the Medicine man. He pulled me out of the water and looked at my nekid body then said somethin like "Uh-oh" and pointed at me. The old women smiled and then dried me off and gave me a shirt to put on. Cept it weren't no shirt, it was a dress.

They then put some mocasins on my feet and combed out my hair. They tied my hair back in a big plait and then placed the plait over my left shoulder. They took me back to see the elder. The medicine man was there and they was talking. The elder signaled two of the young women to stand beside me and the old women were at my back. The elder said some words and the medicine man tied a cord from both my wrist to the young women. When that was done, all the people in the village started shouting and yelling. The two women I was tied to just pulled me over to a small hut and pulled me inside. The old women came in to.

I was untied from the young women and pushed down on a soft fur. I was handed a bowl and they showed me to drink what was in it. It tasted bad, but I drunk it. Then I was stood up and the dress that they put on me was pulled off and again I was sitting on the soft fur. I was getting sleepy and they let me lay down. I was covered by another soft fur and as I watched, the two young women removed their dresses and got under the fur next to me. They got real close and I could feel their hands touching my chest and the bumps on my chest. It felt kinda good and they snuggled into my neck. Then I felt a hand on my boy thing and tried to move, but they held me tight. The hand on my boy thing was moving it up and down slowly. Then one of the young women pulled herself on top of me and taking her hand, she put my boy thing in a warm place between her legs. It felt good as she rocked back and forth. The movement caused my boy thing to go inside a warn wet place and it felt real good. In a few minutes I felt my boy thing go deep inside the young woman and she just grabbed me tight and continued to rock back and forth on top of me. She did this for a little while, then she threw off the fur and sat up on me. The old women said something and the young woman smiled and then let out an ear peircing scream. I thought I hurt her but she gabbed me and held me tight. As she was holding on to me, I felt something shoot out of my boy thing and I screamed too. The young woman hugged my neck and whispered something in my ear. I fell asleep.

I woke in the dark and felt someone near me. I moved my hands and I felt warm skin next to me. The warmth next to me stirred and a hand was placed on my belly.The hand moved down to my boy thing and again it was being moved up and down slowly. This lasted for a few moments, then the body next to me moved on top of me. Again, my boy thing was placed in a warm wet opening and as the body on top of me rocked back and forth, my boy thing went deeper into this tight wet place. I could feel the woman on top of me force herself down on my boy thing and I pushed against her trying to push my thing deep into her wet place. Suddenly she tensed and shouted out some words. Whatever she said didn't bother nobody and soon I was shouting too as I felt something shoot out of my boy thing. We settled down and the woman held me tight as I held her and went back to sleep. I made up my mind then to learn what was going on.

I had been in the village for a couple of months. I was taken to the Medicine Man's hut and he showed me things and talked to me a lot. He also gave me a bowl of a sour tasting drink every morning. I found out that this drink was made of plants called Soy and Red Clover. He made it for ther women of the village and I had to drink it too. After my morning drink, he would talk and have the women, both old and young, teach me the language and how to live in the village.

I learnt to make the soft aminal skin blankets and weave baskets. I took care of the young and played with the Indian children. I did the kind of work that the women did and did not complain. I also learnt to set traps and snares, better that I had done before. The first time I picked up a bow and arrow, some of the men laughed, but the Medicine Man said they was to let me learn. I did. I could use a bow pretty good and a spear. I remember Momma telling stories about olden times and men called knights. How they was real good at doing things on horse back. I betcha the'd not hold a candle to the Indians. They tought me about being a warrior and about hunting. I didn't go hunting with the men too often, but they accepted me and often brought me back things from their trips. I was treated special.

By now I found out that I was married to the two young women. They shared me and would sometimes fight over me, but we were real happy. They was treated special in the camp. I did notice that one of their bellys was getting bigger and in my poor grasp of their language I asked why. I was told I was gonna be a daddy. I was told that the women was gonna have a baby, my baby. She was real happy, too. The other one was sad and she kept putting my boy thing in her warm wet place. That was fun, too! My wife wasn't the only one to change. My chest kept on growing and I was getting big. My wifes liked that and rubbed my chest in the nights. I rubbed theirs, too. We were all learning together. When My wife was aout 7 months pregnant, one of the women brought a baby to our hut. My wifes took turns having the baby suck from their breast. The women also insisted that I take a turn. With a lot of hesitation, I did. The baby's lips held on to my nipples and I felt like the world turned upside down. The women smiled and laughed at my good fortune and every day the baby was bought to me. It took some time, but the baby finally got milk from me. I was suprised and the women shouted out loud. The Medicine Man was happy too. The people seemed to treat me differently, not like an Indian girl or like an Indian boy, but something special. I was now included in other things in the village. Also when I took a bath, it seemed that all the young females wanted to bathe with me. My two wifes were treated well and the two old women that were in charge of me had to cuff a few of the younger women to get them to behave.

When my wife gave birth, I was there and received the baby from the old women. I wrapped the baby in a blanket and instead of handing my baby back to his moma, I unfastened my shirt and held him to my breast. He took my breast into his little mouth and just sucked away. It was great. That started a new part of my life with the Indians. I was a part time mother to my son. My wifes and I took care of him and watched as he grew. When he was about 7 months old, my second wife said she was heavy with child and we were all happy. Our lives settled into a routine.

I had been in the village for about a year when I was asked to see the Medicine Man and the Elders. They said that they was going to a Gathering of Elders and Spirit Guides and I was to go with them. We would be leaving in the morning and the travel would take about 4 days. Some warriors were to go with us to help protect the Medicine Man and me. I was given a new shirt, skirt and leggins for the trip as well as a new ceremonial dress to wear at the Gathering. I was excited to go. I had only been on short horse back rides since coming to the village and always with a warrior either on the horse with me or nearby. I was still a little kid at heart, even though I looked like an Indian girl.

The gathering was different. I didn't know what to think. I was always accompanied by a warrior and deferred to by most of the people. I was asked to sit in on councils and I sat but did not offer any comment, cept at night when I talked with the Medicine Man or Elders. They seemed to put stock in my comments and I appreciated it. The warriors that were in our group had to stay close to me. I was a thing of legend among the Indians and everyone wanted to see me. They would challenge me to silly games, just to get a peek at my chest or up my skirt. There was some older women at the gathering and they followed me around too. They shooed away the younger warriors and we talked about life in the villages, helped take care of our men and told stories. They was curious about me too and each wanted firsthand knowledge of what I was. They used a word I had not heard before saying I was a 'Berdache', kind of half man and half woman. Well that seemed to explain it. Still I had to show them and when they saw the truth, the all smiled at each other's good fortune. It seemed that I was special cos I was both man and woman. I could hunt and ride like a man or take care of woman things. I was the equal of everyone in the village or Indian nation. I had big medicine and was good fortune for my village. I could also be big trouble. I was to find this out later. The gathering lasted five days and then we set off back to the village. Our little caravan was loaded down with gifts as we traveled home. This slowed our return as it took two extra days.

I don't know if it was a good thing that our return was slow or a bad thing. The first thing we saw as we neared the village was smoke in the air. We sent a warrior ahead and when he got back, he said that the village had been attacked. We hurried our ponies along to get to the village faster. The warrior was right. The village had been atacked and the huts burnt. We set about sorting thru things as some of the warriors scouted around. The warriors did find some children and a few old people in the hills hiding and one of my wifes, too. There was a lot of crying that night and in the morning, the elder called for a council. It was decided that we would move the village to a new location and that a war party would track the attackers. The war party was to rescue any one they could but not to if they weren't safe. They set out the next day and those of us left started to clean out the huts and combine all the remaining supplies and stuff. Horses were packed and after two days we set out for our new homesite. It was sad. The village was the best home I had had and now it was gone. Did tragedy follow me. My white family had died of the sickness and now this village had been attacked and burned. Of the approximate 130 people of the village, about 47 of us set out for a new site. Still we had hope.

We traveled stoping only to allow the people to stay in a group. Warriors were.....

This is where the narrative ran out. Archeologist continued looking for additional skins, but none were found. No other find in the Geographical area could corroborate the partial story contained. It was conjectured that it was possible that the skin was a hoax. Further 'Digs' in the area are not planned as of this date leaving one to form one's own opinion.

Do you know the old saying "Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it" Maybe this'll refresh your memory.

Boobs
by
BrandieS

Timmy loved boobs. When he was only 6 years old, he had a fascination with them that many grown men could envy. Whenever he had the oportunity to look at or feel a boob, he filled the oportunity. Not a day passed that he didn't think of boobs.

When he was in school and his teacher, Mrs. Edwards wore a tight blouse or sweater, he felt like he was in heaven. When one of his girl classmates wore a loose bodiced blouse, he peeked as often as he could.

As time passed, he noticed that several of the girls in his class were developing more prominent boobs. He invented new ways to look down their blouse and see the things he dreamed of. Truth be told, some of the girls were eager for the attention and made it easy for Timmy to see a glimpse of creamy flesh. In the 6th Grade, some of the girls would have accidents, falling on Timmy, allowing their covered chest to touch breifly. These 'Accidents' were often covered up and Timmy was none the wiser. But happier!

As he grew his fantasizing about breast became almost obsessive. He would take the lingerie sections from the newspaper and look longingly at the advertisements. He found himself wishing more that once that he had a nice set of 'Boobs'.

It was after a particulary dry spell in boob watching that Timmy heard an most unusual tale. He overheard some people saying that a Fairy could grant a wish if you caught it. Timmy was instantly alert. He wanted to know more and decided to find out if the story about a Fairy was true. But where to go to find out, was the question.

Then the answer was laid out almost at his feet. The Publuc Library. They had all kind of books and should have a book about fairies. So, filled with hope, Timmy set off to the Library.

He looked in the card catalog file and found that the Library did have books about Fairies. He wrote down the Dewey Decimal system number for the books and set off towards the shelves. After looking through several books, Timmy found the answer to his quest.

The book noted that according to legend, if a person was to hold on to a Fairy's wing, the fairy could not get away and further that the captured fairy must, as a condition of being released, grant the captor one wish. Timmy was elated with this discovery, but failed to read the rest of the passage. It cautioned the captor to becareful about making wishes, as they often had a different outcome than desired.

Timy litterally ran home that night. Now he had a plan. His little brother had a loose tooth and he was gonna help it come out. Then the tooth would be out under his brother's pillow and sometime during the night the Tooth Fairy would come to exchange the tooth for a shinny dime. Timmy planned to lay in-wait and try to capture the elusive fairy.

It was late in the night and the house was dark. Timmy was huddled in his brother's closet, the door slightly ajar. He was watching for any disturbance that might herald the Tooth Fairy. The minutes turned into hours and Timmy fought to stay awake.

Timmy's head had that little dog look, you know the one, the statue in the back window of cars, where the head seems to roll around by itself. Then just as it takes a desperate tumble, the head is caught and back under control. That happened to Timmy and as luck would have it, the Tooth Fairy was just leaning over the sleeping form of his little brother. Timmy threw open the closet door and launched himself at the Tooth fairy reaching out with eager hands for the fairy's wings.

He had the wings. He had the wings. He wanted to shout with joy, but at the last minute he just paused.

"Christos, what have I done?" Came out of the Fairy. Then turning it's head, it beheld Timmy holding firmy to it's wings. Assessing the situation, the fairy said "Ok, you got me. What now pardner?"

Timmy looked at the fairy with awe. Although he tried to catch a fairy, he didn't think it was going to happen. He thought the mom or dad took the tooth and put the money in it's place. But now, he had proof. A real live fairy.

Timmy relaxed his grip on the wings, but did not let go. He looked at the fairy and asked a question. "Is it true that you have to grant a wish to the person that captures you?"

The fairy recoiled from the question, it's face pale. "Where'd you hear that?" the fairy asked as way of an answer.

"I read it in a book."

"Darned books" was the scaly reply.

Timmy asked "Well, do you?"

The fairy made a face, then lookedat Timmy in reply "Yea, them's the rules. Whadda ya want?"

Timmy was all smiles as he heard the reply. Sometimes the stuff you read is just made up stuff, but this, WOW! He opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by the fairy.

"First, just one wish. Then no wishes for more wishes, third nothing illegal. Got that?"

Timmy knew what his wish was, so he agreed with the fairy.

"So, then, young fella, what's it gonna be? A new bike, a backpack, scooter, huh?"

Timmy shook his head no at these choices. Gleefully he opened his mouth, then said quite clearly "I want a set of boobs. But not just a regular kind of set, but the bestest boobs ever. That's my wish." His face was smiling from ear to ear.

The fairy looked at the boy and made a strange face. He then looked away for a minute, then back into the eager boy's face. "Boobs, huh? Well, if I must, I must." The fairy took a breath then continued. "First, let me go. Second, go back to bed. Then when you wake up in the morning, you'll have your wish. Them's the rules." It had twisted it's head as it was talking to Timmy and was waiting for his reaction.

"Uh, ok, I guess." Timmy stammered. "But you better be telling the truth." With that outburst, Timmy released his hold on the Tooth Fairy.

"Ok, then, now go to bed and don't worry about it. Have I ever lied to you?" asked the fairy, smiling.

Timmy just shook his head 'No' and went to his bedroom and the comfort of his own bed. He was soon fast asleep.

Timmy woke up groggy. His sleep had been shortened from last night's adventure. The first thing he did on remembering the events of the wee hours was to grab the front of his chest and lookdown. Nothing there. He felt cheated. The fairy said. Duh, the Fairy? Yuk.

He changed out of his pajamas and went down stairs. he paused at the bottom of the stairs as he heard, then saw three intruders in his house. He let out a small cry that was quickly noticed by the three intruders and they came running over to him. Two of them got caught in a doorway and bounced back, then one, with weird straight black hair turned to the other, this one had frizzy hair and a bald spot near his forehead and bopped him on the forehead, saying "Watchit meathead!"

The one with the frizzy hair replied "Hey Moe, whadja do that for?'

The one called Moe looked at the frizzy hair guy raised his hand and said "Why I oughta." But he didn't do anything else. Both just came into the room, straight towards Timmy.

As Timmy watched the two coming towards him, he saw a kinda fat guy with a real short hair coming from the other direction. The fat guy stopped just inside the room and called, "Moe, youse guys, youse gotta see dis." He turned and ran back out of the room, leading the other two.

Soom Timmy heard a noise from the other room and he cautiously crossed to the doorway and peered in. The fat guy was holding a canister and was covered with flour. The one called Moe was saying, "Now look whatje did knucklehead. Now, clean this up." Then he waved his hand in front of the fat guy and finally hit him on the head.

"Gee, Moe,dat hurtz." was the reply to the hit.

Moe looked at the fat guy then said, "I'll show you what hurtz." , as he raised a hand towards the fat guy.

The fat guy just reared up on his toes and made a couple of barking noises "Woof, woof", then "Nyuk, Nyuk, Nyuk!!" came from his mouth accompanied by hand gestures.

Timmy was watching this and did not notice that the Tooth Fairy had appeared beside him. The Tooth Fairy cleared it's throat to announce it's presence and Timmy looked at it.
Before the fairy could say a word, Timmy began complaining. "I thought I was gonna get my wish. I didn't wish for these guys. I wished for a set of boobs. You cheated me." Timmy was angry at the Tooth Fairy.

The Tooth Fairy smiled and replied. "I gave you your wish. You wished for a set if boobs. As I recall you said 'I want a set of boobs. But not just a regular kind of set, but the bestest boobs ever. That's my wish.' Well, that's what you got. These my young friend are the Three Stooges, Moe, Larry and Curly Joe." He pointed to the trio. "Boy's take a bow." Turning back to Timmy, he apraised the young man and added, "You said the best boobs and that's what you got. Next time you should be more specific. Oh, and HAVE A NICE DAY!" The Tooth Fairy disapeared laughing.

Getting dressed to go out for the evening wasn't easy in the best of times and tonight wasn't the best of times. The agent had to infiltrate a formal gala and everything had to be perfect. The agent had a full salon treatment in preparation and even after years of on the job training was nervous. The agent kept looking at the reflection in the mirror. "Stop that." came an order from across the room. "You look beautiful and hearts will melt when men see you tonight. Now take a deep breath and let's go." The agent stole a last look in the mirror and smiled. "I do look good!" the agent said "But what do I say if some one asks my name?" The other figure in the room smiled and said "Tell them the truth." The agent hesitated then asked feebly "The truth? What truth?" The smile on the other occupant of the room was priceless as she said "Just raise your chin a little and smooth down the waist of your gown and say 'Bond, Jane Bond' ".

"No, sorry, can't." It was just getting harder and harder for Tom to take 'NO' for an answer.

"Oh, come on, then Sandy, why not?" came the plaintive reply.

"Your kidding, right? You know why." This was my argument that I held in reserve.

I was 17 years old and my best friend wanted me to be his date at his cousin's wedding. Tom had always been awkward around girls and except for being with me never dated much. It hadn't always been like this, when we met, we had a terrible fight. Not just words, but each landing several hard blows. I bloodied his nose and had a shiner for my effort. Our parents were beside themselves with laughter. Tom had thought that he was bullying a girl and I took umbrage with his actions. He was a slow learner as we had other fights.

People seeing him hitting me would try to pull us apart, but too often we would gang up on them, chasing them away. They would shout at us and run off. We'd just laugh. We went on like this throughout school. But these fights seemed to bring us closer. As we grew classmates would just tell us to get a room. We'd get even with them at recess or lunch, whenever.

Ya, see, Tom was the only one that knew I realy was a boy. The others just thought that I was a strange girl. In grade school, I was considered a Tomboy and in Junior High, just weird and flat chested. I asked mom what that was, but she just said 'Never mind'. The regular girls would talk about fashion or cooking or boys and I didn't respond. I knew enough about clothes and I could cook, but boys, ha, I was one. Just cause I had to wear dresses they thought I was one of them. Then there was always Tom.

It was 1964 and my grandparents were happy. Their dream of owning a home was at last no longer a dream. They lived in a little community in upstate New York, northeast of Buffalo. A nice summer resort/vacation town, Niagra, NY. Just down river from Niagra falls. A new housing area had opened and nice attractive homes were being sold by local realtors. Several families had already moved in and more were expected.

Love Canal was all they dreamed of with pretty, affordable houses, nice green lawns and a nearby school. It was close to one of those new shopping centers and to grandpa's work. Life was good. It was time to start that family they had always wanted. My mother was born in 1967, a beautiful little girl, 6 pounds 9 ounces and 17 inches long. My grandparents moved in 1977 and prayed that they had heard the last of Love canal. Unfortunately it was to follow them the rest of their lives.

The news stories were released nationwide and everyone learned the story of Love Canal. It and it's residents became famous. And then there were the birth defects. The New York State Health Department had a continuing investigation into a disturbingly high rate of miscarriages, along with five birth-defect cases detected in the area.

Mom was an only child and not for the lack of Grandpa and Gram trying. It's that Gram was diagnosed with cervical cancer after mom was born and one Hysterectomy later, mom was an only child. Her parents showered her with love and affection and spoiled her rotten. Grampa was tested after Gram got cancer and his white blood count was high. The doctor said something about a shift to the left and he rechecked Grampa every 5 or 6 months. Gramps white count did stay high, but he didn't get sick. Mom as tested cause she played outside in all type of weather and if you know about the Canal, the stuff would come up more in the rain. Luckily, she was healthy as a horse. It was amazing.

Gramp took the buyout money and moved to Arizona. They were going to start a new life. No more cold weather and freeging temperatures and NO toxic waste. They didn't even bring their old clothes with them. Everything new!

Mom grew up and got married and two years later I was born. Dad was an architect and had planned, with his father, several of the housing tracts in the Scottsdale area. The area was booming with baby Boomers moving to the Sun Belt and the housing market was booming, too. The loved each other and still do to this day. They were married in 1987 and after a two years, Mom finally got pregnant. I was born in 1989 and we were a happy family. Mom, Dad and me, Lincoln Kelly Sanders, the second. Sandy for short.

As all babies do, I got a diaper rash. The usual creams and ointments were applied, but the pesky rash just stayed. I was getting a raw bottom, so mom took me to the doctor. I was about 4 months old then. The Pediatrician gave mom some prescriptions and she had them filled. That medicine didn't work either and I was back at the doctor's office. This was a serial event lasting over 7 months and finally mom was fed up. The doctor had tried various remedies and nothing worked. In a fit of exasperation, he told mom to just let me go naked. With the diaper removed, there would be nothing to hold urine next to my skin and I might get better. Mom was skeptical, but had tried conventional remdies and they had so far failed. So it was that during the day, I would usually be naked. Mom bought some special blankets for me to lay on to keep the floor clean. This remedy started when I was about 11 months old and never ended. I began to walk and I went naked. It was sunny and I played naked in the back yard. I was a baby what did I care about fashion.

When mom took me to the store, I wore baby dresses and loose diapers. As I got older the diapers were replaced by training panties. My legs were left uncovered as much as possible. The dresses allowed air flow, that seemed to help keep the rash at bay. My hair was longish and most babies look kinda girly. This clothing worked and the rash seemed to go away. Then, when I was three years old the rash came back.

Thinking the rash had cleared up, mom dressed me in training pants and a tailor made suite. We were attending a wedding of one of her friends and had to look good. Little did we know the rash had decided to come back. I was miserable at the wedding and kept pulling at my pants and whining. Mom checked me several times, but didn't see anything unusual. She had to change my training pants, but saw no visible sign of the rash. Still, I continued to whine.

That night at home, mom undressed me and gave me a bath. After the bath I wore a clean pair of training pants. Mom had her bath and soon we were sitting on the couch watching a Disney movie. I fell asleep next to mom and she carried me to bed. Sometime during the night I pulled off the training pants cause they felt scratchy. I fell back asleep.

In the morning, I got out of my bed and used my potty. I used the paper to wipe myself like mommy said and grabbing Arthur, I went in search of mommy. Arthur is my bear. He wears a red vest and I have a matching vest. When I wear my vest, mom says we're twins. Mom's funny.

Mom was in the kitchen and looked up as I entered. I climbed into her lap and hugger her. She noticed I wasn't wearing pants and asked what happened. I told her that they caused me to itch. She made a comment about the doctor and I ran off to play. Later she put a loose dress on me and we went to the doctor. I guess I had forgot some of my lessons cause I was playing with the toys in the doctor's office and another little boy came over to play with the toys. He was shy and just watched as I sat down, then he pointed and laughed. He was pointing to my willie. Mom picked me up and held me till it was time to see the doctor. He looked me over and then asked mom some questions. She explained about the suit I had worn and not having on underpants today. He mentioned that maybe mom should try girls unders in different materials. He thought that the cotton panties may be keeping too much moisture next to my skin and also that some of the girl panties may allow for better air flow. He also sugested that she might want to try a panty liner and if I could tolerate a nice panty and a liner, that should help solve the problem. The doctor also said for me to see a Dermatologist for skin testing and mom agreed.

On the way home we stopped at the store to buy some girls panties and panty liners. I got a set with my favorite cartoon on them. I ask mom if I could wear them home and she said yes. They felt good and didn't itch. Yea! I started to wear girls panties all the time. I saw the dermatologist and he said I had a special rash. My bottom and willie had to have lots of air and vitamin D. He comented on the dress and mom told him how they were about the only clothes I could wear. He agreed that the open skirt of the dress allowed for better ventilation and combined with the panties and panty liner, I stayed covered and dry. Mom made the decision to keep me in dresses. She did let my hair grow out a little and a lot people thought I was a girl. I got used to it. It was better than explaining to everyone why I wore dresses. We still see this doctor to this day.

Grade school started and I was eager to go. Mom had me registered and we had a note from the dermatologist about my 'dresses'. The school didn't put up too much fuss. Good. First grade was ok and I made some friends, more girls that boys. Second grade was ok. Some of the boys became my friends. Everyone just enjoyed being a kid. Third Grade and I met Tom. he laughed at me and called me a name. I hit him in the nose and he started to bleed and cry. He later said it was a lucky punch cause he wasn't expecting a girl to hit him. I hit him again for that crack. That started our friendship.

The weekend after our fight, his mom brought him to our house to appologize for hitting me. His mom was mad that he had hit a girl and wanted to see the girl that could fight so good. She said I was a nice girl and would be a pretty young lady. Looking back I realize how prophetic those words were. Tom and I became best friends and even defended each other. Course we still fought between ourselves.

We entered the same junior high and had the same classes. Tom had seperate friends and I had mine. One of Tom's friends tried to ask me to a dance, but I said no. He walked away sad. Tom and I went to the movies one Saturday and some classmates saw us and said we were boyfriend and girlfriend. When our moms heard that they laughed. Seventh grade was fun, but during the Summer, my chest started to hurt and itch. When I mentioned the itching, mom took me back to the doctor's.

The doctor examined me and then told mom he wanted to get a blood sample. He prescribed some cream for my chest and mom scheduled a follow-up. Mom got the cream for my chest and I rubbed it in every day, but my chest was still sore and itchy. At the follow-up with the doctor, he said that my blood was ok. He asked if the cream was wotking and I said yes, it made the itching go away for a while. He was happy about that and said that we should just wait and see what happened next.

Mom and dad got a above ground pool and I loved it. I spent a lot of time in the backyard swimming. I didn't wear clothes if I didn't have to and I had a complete tan. Tom came over one day to swim and mom told him to go ahead. She said I'd be out in a few minutes. We had been to the store and I had to hang up my dress and change my panties. I undresed and put the dirty panties in the laundry. I just grabbed a towel and went to the pool. Tom was swimming underwater and I climbed the ladder and dove in. The water was great. I like to swim underwater and I came up next to Tom. Boy did we get a suprise. I was looking up at him and he was looking down at me and the he just turned bright red.

His mom and dad had taken him to stay with his Grandparents, so he hadn't been around for about 5 weeks.He didn't know I had been to the doctor about my chest. I guess that cause I didn't pay too much attention to my chest, I didn't see that I had developed small mounds. I just knew that my nipples didn't itch like before and my chest didn't hurt. But Tom just looked at me and then when I got out of the pool naked, he said he had to go home. I didn't know he could run that fast.

Mom came out in her bathing suit and when she saw me she pulled me inside. I was mad. Tom ran home and now I couldn't be outside. What had I done wrong? Sheesh! Mom told me to put on a pair of panties and she'd be right back. She came back holding her old bathing suit. She told me to hold still, then tied it around my chest and put the triangle pieces over my nipples and mounds. Mom called them breast. She handed me the bikini bottom and after telling me to take off my panties to put the bottom on. Once that as done, she said "Better". Now, I looked like a girl in a bathing suit. But my chest felt better. Mom said we'd go shopping later for necessary items. Also go see the doctor.

Turned out that some of the medicine I had taken for the rash had supressed my production of Testosterone. Cause of the imbalance my body started to produce more Estrogen. That's why I started to grow breasts. Mom also told the doctor about me wearing her bathing suit and how good it had fit. She thought that my bottom had gotten bigger too. I was only 13 and this was scary. I still had my 'Willie' but 'Willie' didn't seem to get excited too much. I didn't tell anyone about that.

I spent the rest of the Summer wearing a bikini when outside or when dad was home. Tom and I hung out and did things together. We'd go bike riding or to the movies. Our friends thought we were a cute couple. We just smiled. Tom liked girls and so did I, but he was usually tongue tied and most of the girls thought I was one and they wanted a boyfriend. What a mess. My boobs continued to grow, I was just past an A cup when school started again. Yea Eighth Grade.

It was a repeat of last year, except now the older boys wanted go go on dates. I was still a boy and still said no. Course, there was Tom. We spent a lot of time together. We were what was called an 'Item'. The girls aksed me if he kissed me and I turned red at the thought. They, of course, thought I had been kissed by Tom and teased us both. When news got back to Tom, he got mad. We had another fight.

I continued to grow and 'bloom'. Tom and I were the best of friends and even I noticed that he was treating me differently. Finally, he said that he had asked a girl to go to the movies with him on the weekend. He said that she said yes and that I shouldn't be mad at him. When I asked why I should be mad at him, he just shut up. That was his first real date and I wanted him to have a good time. I wished I could do that, but with my problem, it was not gonna happen. I was jealous of her. I told mom about his date saturday and she held me tight as I cried. I hugged Arthur that night in bed.

Monday in school, Tom was his old self. The girl, Cindy, that he took to the movies said that she just wanted to get another boy jealous and that's why she went to the movies with Tom. I saw Cindy in the 'Girls Room' and she said different. She said that he called her 'Sandy' all night. She said she didn't stand a chance against me cause Tom loved me, alot. Boy, that caught me by suprise. She hugged me and told me to 'Take care of my man cause he's one in a million'. We became friends after that.

Days and weeks passed and we went into the next grade. Still Tom and I were unseperable. Rumor had it that we were joined at the hip and for Halloween, we went as a Siamese Twin. We had mom sew one of my dresses to Tom's pants. Course, we could only dance with each other, but we had conquered that fear long ago. It was nothing for him to treat me like a real girl and I reacted the same.

Tenth grade and eleventh were repeats of past grades. Oh, the classes were different, but the people were the same. Then came the invitation for Tom to attend his cousins formal wedding. He was encouraged to bring a date. A real date. We were 17 years old and had been friends forever and although we had often been seen in public together, we had never been on a real date, date. Him and I. Me and Him. Whatever.

Mom knew about the invitation and asked to talk to me as I came in the house. She fixed me a cup of tea and we sat on the patio quietly drinking our tea. Finally she asked "Sandy are you going to the wedding with Tom?" I just stared straight ahead. She moved closer and put her hand on my cheek, saying "Honey, it's all right. There's nothing to be ashamed of or be embarassed about." I thought about this as she dropped the bomb on me. "We all know how much you love him, and he loves you, too." I started to cry. "But, but, I'm a boy." I stammered.

Mom stood me up and pulled me close and hugged me. The "No you're not, at least not to Tom. He sees a pretty young lady. Why do you think he doesn't date?" I was confused. I thought he was awkward around girls, but mom said different. Mom said that Jane, Tom's mother, told her about how much he loves me, but is afraid to say. Afraid that I'd reject him. I was overwhelmed by this confession. I admitted that I loved him, but I, too, was afraid of him running from me. Mom said that her and Jane would fix it. Then she told me to go wash my face and put on some make-up. And Hurry. I hurried.

Mom drove to Jane's huse and we went in. Tom and his dad were there and even my dad. I guess I was confused. Mom told me to sit next to Tom and I sat. Then the moms began. The dads just kept grinning and nodding their heads. Our parents were in on it from the start. It ended with Tom holding my hand. I felt like I was on cloud nine. The moms agreed that I needed a special dress and we would go shopping in a few days. Then they told Tom to take me out to Dinner. There were smiles a plenty as we stood to leave.

In the car, I asked Tom "So, do you really love me or were you just saying that?" The answer might be different and I had to know. Tom smiled and squeezed my hand. "Sandy, not a day goes by that I don't want you in my life. I have talked to mom and dad about it and they know I love you. Look, I mean, I still know that you're a boy, but you're also the girl of my dreams. I haven't seen you as a boy since the swimming pool thing a few years ago."

I felt foolish. I had tried to talk him out of loving me. It was hard to think. There had always been Tom in my life. I felt good when he was near and when he had gone out on those few dates, I had been jealous. I still thought of myself as a boy and that was the problem. Maybe I should ask myself, 'What would a girl do?', so I did and smiled at the answer. My girl friends had said that they had kissed their boyfriends when the fell in love and I thought I should give it a try. Looking at Tom, I formulated my plan. "Tom" I said and as he looked at me I leaned across the space seperating us and kissed him. I was pleased to feel his tongue probe my mouth and our kiss deepen.

I went to the wedding with Tom. I caught the bouguet, too. What's next for us, well we'll just have to finish high school and see. Till them, I'm going to be the best fiancee that I can be. Oh, did I use the word fiancee.

There was no doubt about it. I had met the ultimate girl and was in love. Actually Capitol LOVE. She was a good looker, great personality and smart as a whip. She had a passion for life and it showed. One thing about her was that even if she flirted with another man, she left with me. And they tried, too.

We had been dating for a couple of months and she asked if I would shave for our date. I said sure and she smiled. Giving me a kiss, she pulled out a pink safety razor and handed it to me.

"Uhmmm, what's this for?" I asked as I twirled it in my fingers.

"You said that you'd shave and I don't want you to get nicked." Again I was treated to her radiant smile. Then she continued "There's shaving soap in the bath, make sue you shave in all those unusual places." She left me there with the razor.

I went to the bath and found the shaving soap and gathered it up. I got a clean washcoth and towel and started to shave. She walked into the living room and saw me and asked "What the heck are you doing in here?"

I finished my razor stroke and turned to her. Half my face was covered with shaving soap as I replied "Well, you did ask me to shave in unusual places."

I died hearing that song on the radio, I almost peed myself. No and for the record it’s not about me, but there are similarities, too many similarities. I tried not to think of them, but they and that darned song just wouldn’t leave me alone. What song, you’re asking yourself. Well I’ll tell you the first line. I’m not a good singer so cover your ears because here I go.

‘Johnny’s daddy was taking him fishing, when he was 8 years old. A little girl came through the front gate holding a fishing pole.’

I cried in public when I heard that song. Then I remembered where I was and ran like heck. Men don’t cry, especially in public. The worst was yet to come, though. What can be worse that public humiliation? Trust me, you don’t want to know.

He was always a different kid, small for his age, sheltered by his grandparents. His mom had been raped when she was 14 and nine months later Ron was born. He was a small baby hardly weighing 6 pounds, almost fitting into the palm of your hands. His mother loved him though and cared for him rigorously.

He grew up watched over by a loving mother and grandparents. Small of stature with bright blue green eyes and a constant smile, he charmed everyone he met. Truth be told, most people just assumed the child was a little girl and went from there. As the child grew, he went to school and was treated the same as real girls. In time he came to accept the fact that he was a girl and life went on. During summers, he rode a bicycle, played, went fishing with Grandpa and pretended to drive the old truck. He lived in an old house at the end of the street and had no friends nearby.

When Ron was age 8, a new family moved in next door and they had a boy child. That child was me and I was 3 years older than him. The first time I saw him, I thought he was a girl. He had on a pink top and a brown skirt. Dressed like a girl, he was running back and forth in the street playing some imaginary game. I watched from the porch as the girl twirled and jumped and made noises. I had no idea what game was being played, but she looked like she was having fun. Mom and dad watched, too, smiles on their faces.

She was shy and watched when I was in the yard. She hid in trees spying on me or from open windows. She never talked. Her mom was nice and waved and said hi. Her grandparents were nice too. They invited us over to supper and Mom gladly accepted.

The little girl just hid behind her mom as we came in the door. My mom saw her and smiled saying “Hi, honey. You’re sure a cutie.” The little girl just stood there.

Her mom said “This is Ron. He’s a little shy around people.”

My mom looked up at Ron’s mom and said “He? Why I thought she was a girl. She’s so pretty.” Not much more was said about Ron as we were called to the table and the talk turned to other things. I remember the food was good and I ate a lot. Ron ate a little, almost a girl portion, I thought. After supper there was fresh made pie and we ate it sitting on the porch. It was getting dark and dad had to work in the morning so my parents said goodnight and we went home.

The next day was ok. That was until I saw Ron. He/she was wearing a little yellow sun dress and it was so thin that when the light was behind her/him, you could see his panties. This caused me to be embarrassed and I ran inside to my room. I avoided Ron from then on. Mom was busy and Dad was at work, so I used my bicycle to go off and play. During my trips to play I heard things about Ron’s mom. I was just entering puberty and had pretty vague ideas about sex. When I heard about Ron’s mom, I was shocked. Another thing that shocked me was my parents calling Ron a ‘little girl’.

Whenever my parents talked about Ron, it was always she. To my parents, they saw Ronnie, the little girl, not a little boy. The boys I played with said Ron was just like his mother and was as queer as a three dollar bill. When the guys laughed, I did too. They bragged about kissing girls and feeling a girl’s boobs and a few even said they had felt Ron’s moms’ boobs. I didn’t know what to believe. In the end I just said nothing and kept silent. One thing I did though was to start calling Ron ‘Queer’ or ‘Queer bait’ and other bad names.

My bad behavior lasted through the summer without my parents’ knowledge. It all came to a head at the end of August. Dad and I were going fishing and he said he had a surprise for me. I was excited. What boy doesn’t like surprises? The surprise was Ron. Dad had invited Ron to come with us. He had seen Ron playing by alone and felt sorry for her. That was too much for me and like the song, I complained. My complaints fell on deaf ears and I ran off, not to go fishing that day. Ron went home crying and that was the last time I ever saw him.

Fast forward 20 years. Why am I telling you this now you might ask? Well, I was out of town on a business trip and was able to get through early. I flew back and retrieving my car from the parking lot, I drove home. About 20 minutes from my home, I answered a call on my cell phone. It was my wife. She was crying and clearly upset. She urged me to come home immediately. I told her that I had finished early and was almost home. Her relief was evident by the sound of her breathing into the phone. I reassured her that I would be home shortly and asked what was wrong. She declined to tell me, saying for me to hurry.

My street was empty of traffic and my wife’s car was parked in the driveway. Outside of the house there were no tell tale sign of anything wrong. I wondered why my wife was so upset. I parked and disregarding my briefcase, I opened the front door and walked inside. I called out and my wife replied, saying for me to come to the family room.

As I stepped into the family room, I saw my wife sitting stiffly on the couch. Across from her was a cute little girl. My wife heard me enter and turned towards me. “Honey, this is Amelia. Your daughter.”

“Huh, what daughter?” Was I crazy? I had been gone two days, leaving a wife and a 10 year old son. NO DAUGHTER! Then it dawned on me. I sat down stiffly as I heard a whimper come from the young girl.

I took a breath and knew that for some reason, life has to get back at you. I remembered Ron and all the bad things I had done. I felt 2 inches tall. Composing myself, I looked and the girl and said “Eddie, is that you?”

His small head bobbed up and down and a loud sob came from his mouth. The noise was heart-wrenching and I shuddered in my skin. My wife was watching me and I turned to face her. “When did this happen?” I asked.

My wife just shrugged her shoulders and bit her lips. She moved her eyes from Eddie/Amelia to me and back. I sat and watched the child of my loins as the past came back to haunt me with a vengeance. I started crying and somewhere in the middle of things, I hugged my wife and new daughter. “I love you, Amelia. Know that always. Your mommy and I will be here to support you regardless.”

We cried off and on the rest of the day talking about Amelia and Eddie. Plans were made and we listened as Eddie told us his story. I finally told about Ron. That night before I went to bed, I said a prayer for Ron. I didn’t know where she was, but I prayed God would watch over her.

I was taking Algebra in school and hated it. I also didn’t like the teacher saying ‘One day your life may depend on your ability to perform simple calculations’.

I lived with my Mom and Gram on a farm. There’s just the three of us and we keep the place running. Some of the fields have been rented out to nearby farms, but we have enough left over for pasture and growing our own food. We plant a big garden and have an Apple orchard, too. Everyday it’s up early to feed the chickens and milk the cows, then the cows are let out to pasture. The hogs are slopped in the evening and in between there is weeding the garden, pruning trees as needed and other work to keep us all occupied. As I am the youngest I get to do a lot of the stuff that Mom and Gram can’t. I don’t complain and it’s actually a lot of fun.

When I was 14 years old I weighed 95 pounds and stood 5 feet tall. I desperately wanted to grow. I was a size 14 and hoped that I could get some bigger kids clothes. With a 32 inch chest, a 24 inch waist and 32 and a half inch hips, I looked forward to further developing. Mom said I had a nice figure and even tormented me by measuring me for a bra.

After her measurements were done, she did the math. She actually used Algebra and thought it was funny. Funny to her because I was taking Algebra in school and hated it. I also didn’t like the teacher saying ‘One day your life may depend on your ability to perform simple calculations’. My English teacher would have enjoyed the irony of those two pieces of my life. Mom finished her calculations and pronounced that I was a size 34A bra. This set her off laughing and that brought in Gram. When she heard mom laughing, she wanted to know why and she laughed too after mom told her.

When it was time for new clothes, they both offered to buy me my first bra. I declined the offer as gracefully as I could. However, soon my family knew about it and then friends of mom and Gram. You can figure out what happened next. Yup, joke time for all. I spent the school year with my face stuck in a book afraid to look at anybody.

When I needed new clothes, I made sure that I kept mom away from the Bra aisle. But somehow, she’d manage to maneuver us towards the lingerie. She even suggested matching panties. As much as this hurt my feelings, if mom had treated it differently I might have relented and gotten different underwear. My regular underwear were getting uncomfortable and some of the newer styles were more form fitting. They resembled the Speedo bathing suits that hugged the hips and were worn off the waist. I looked, but said nothing. The rest of my clothing could have easily been worn by either a boy or a girl. I saw a lot of the girls buying boys and men’s jeans. When mom would mention that, I’d still avoid a bra.

Ask any parent and they’ll tell you that all kids outgrow everything as soon as it’s bought. Shoes, shirts, pants, whatever it is, kids outgrow it before the tag comes off. I was no different and continued to grow. At 15, I was 5 feet 3 inches and 110 pounds. By age 16, I was 5 feet 6 inches and almost 120 pounds, and then when I hit 17 years old, I was 5 feet 7 inches tall and 126 pounds. I thought I looked good. Mom measured me and I was 34 inches in the chest, mom had measured me at the nipple line. I also had a 26 inch waist and 35 inches for hips. I was a bowling pin. Mom took another measurement at what she called the ‘band line’ and said that was 32 inches. Mom was just doing the measurement to kid me, but said the numbers weren’t right. She had Gram check and the numbers were the same.

Mom told me that the numbers showed that I was a 34B bra size. I laughed at her and said I was just getting some muscles. She just smiled that mom smile and poked her finger on my chest. It hurt. The flesh was not firm, but soft and movable. Well ok, it jiggled a little. Mom actually squeezed it and that caused a lot of pain. Then mom did something that was completely crazy. Without saying anything, she took off her blouse. She stood there in her bra looking at me. She took my hand and placed it on her bra and proceeded to tell me all about bras and wearing them. She even took it off and handed it to me. I was too stunned to talk. I just took it from her hands. She said she was a 34C and to try it on.

I held it up and looked at it then at mom. She smiled and took it out of my hands and under her direction I was soon wearing a bra. I actually had to admit that my chest felt better. The bra was a little big, but not too big. With the shoulder straps adjusted for my size, my chest felt better. Also my shirt didn’t rub against my nipples and irritate them. That night mom took me shopping.

So that’s it. That’s the story of how I wore my first bra. Now I wear one all of the time. Well most of the time. I use a Sports Bra as needed and I have learned about push-up, underwire and demi bras too. I’m not an expert so don’t ask technical questions. I’m just a normal 17 year old girl trying to live a normal life.
 

Payback is a b........ Well, that's what they say. Don't they?
Or is "Blood is thicker than water".

I was standing at the side of a hospital bed. The occupant looked old and shriveled. The skin had a yellow tint and there were life support machines scattered around the room. The occupant stirred and turned her head. Smiling, she said quietly "I knew you'd come. I told them you'd help me." Tears filled my eyes and I turned my head away. I heard "It's ok, you're here now. It'll be alright, you'll see." I wondered.

The telephone was ringing as I entered the door. I put down my shopping bags and grabbed the receiver. "Hello?" I said into the phone.

"Uh, can I speak to Evelyn Rancher." was the reply.

"Can I ask who's calling, please?"

"Just put Evelyn on the line." came the angry reply. I hung up. Couldn't be important. Probably some crank tryng to have a thrill. I used to be Evelyn Rancher, but I am now Sandra Thomas. Thomas was my middle name and I had my name changed several years ago. I was worried about the call though, because I had not received a call for Evelyn for a long time.

My name used to be Evelyn Thomas Rancher. I was named for my maternal grandfather and was called Ev or Lin by my family. I know what you are thinking and the E in Ev is a flat e, like in the name Greg. Not a long E like Eve. Of course there was the required teasing by my classmates but it seemed to subside when we got a kid Bartholomew in our class. Still that was my name and I hadn't heard anyone use it for several years.

I ran away from home when I was 17 years old. I eventually found a job and learned to take care of myself. Of course it wasn't all easy. By the time I was 17 years old, my older sister and step-mother had completely feminized me. My sister was 7 years older than me and hated me from the time I was born. When I was a baby she would empty my bottle out and then put it back at my side so my parents would think I had sucked it dry. As I continued to grow, she got meaner to me. She broke my toys. She would pee in a glass and pour it on my clothes and I would be punished. For this I was kept in diapers till I could be trusted to not wet myself during the day. As a result I wore diapers till I was in First grade of School. Then at school, she would tear my books and write in them and I got into trouble. Mommy and daddy were mad and I would get spanked. As I grew older, my sister would babysit and boy would she get mad at me. Sometimes she would make me go naked all night so I couldn't go outside and play. She'd say if she couldn't have fun, then neither could I. Then, sometimes she would make me go naked and play outside, but not in the backyard, but the front yard. Those times she would invite her friends over and they would sit on the front porch and laugh at me.

As I got older she continued to do mean things to me, but nobody believed me. She would have her boyfriend over and they would be on the porch watching my play in the yard. Sometimes her boyfriend would help her take my clothes off and would have me sit on his lap. My sister would encourage her boyfriend to take out his thing and they would make me play with it. She had one of them instant cameras and would take pictures of her boyfriends thing in my mouth, or sometimes in my butt. She'd threaten to show the pictures to everybody if I didn't do what she wanted. This stuff lasted for a long time. Then Mommy died.

I thought that things might get better but they didn't. Daddy brought home some woman and she stayed. My sister and her got along fine. I hated her. I complained to daddy, but he said it was a phase that I was going thru and I'd get over it. I never did.

The lady and my sister made my life a living hell. Once the lady saw the pictures of me naked and with my sisters boyfriends, she gave me two choices of clothing. Naked or girls clothes. But the girls clothes she would give me didn't cover very much and I may as well have naked. She and my sister would just laugh. Still I had to wear the girls clothes to school. Can you inagine wearing a thin cotton jumper, with a real short shirt to school. Just that and shoes. Nothing else. I mean not even underwear or socks. Everybody made fun of me. And as I got older, it got worse. Of course if you had grown up in that backwater little town, you would have seen how easy it was for them to treat me bad. My step mother knew everybody and bragged about it. She said she had pictures of them doing stuff and she would show them if the didn't lay off. They just looked the other way.

I said that my sister is 7 years older than me, so when she was 14 or 15 years old, my step-mother took me and her to a doctor. My sister went in first and was examined. Then it was my turn to be examined. Heck I wasn't even sick. The doctor gave my step-mother some papers to give to the druggist and we went home. My step-mother took the papers to the druggist the next morning and got us some medicine. My sister was happy cause she was going to be allowed to take Birth Control Pills. That meant that she could have sex with her boyfriend now. She laughed about that and said that I could still suck him off sometimes. She thought this was funny and laughed.

The druggist had given me some pills too. They were big, egg shaped ones. I had one in the morning and one before bed everyday. I was told that they were vitamins and would help me grow. Heck, what did I know. But they did help me grow. My butt got bigger, my waist got smaller and my chest was sore for a while, then it got some big bumps on it. Kinda like on my sister. I eventually learned that I was taking Estrogens. I had a real nice figure for a girl and my sister and step-mother just smiled.

As I grew my choice of clothes was more confined. The selection just got worse. The dresses got shorter and tighter. Still no other clothes, never underwear. My peenie was almost shriveled up and not noticable. It never got hard, even when one of my sister's boyfriends rubbed it. My sister said I was not a boy anymore and I cried.

I went to junior high school and was beat up at first, then a bunch of boys just made me have sex with them every day. They would sit in a corner of the lunch room and make me sit on their hard penis during lunch. Sometimes they would push me under the table and force me to suck on them till they came in my mouth. They laughed about this saying they was feeding me lunch. I also learned to steal food from lunch trays.

That's a sample of what my life was like. Dad was not around and only saw what they wanted him to see when he was home. I didn't know what to do. When I was 7 years old I was 41 inches tall and weighed almost 47 pounds. At 17 years old, I was 61 inches tall and weighed 83 pounds. How can a person grow without food. I guess the shame is that boys provided my food. I would get so hungry that I would beg to suck on someone. I wanted to eat, to have something in my belly. My sister and step mother thought this was fun and would make the guy pull out of me and not shoot the food in my mouth. I often cried myself to sleep.

But I waited for my turn and it finally came. I managed to hide in the back of a delivery truck and when the truck stopped at a rest place on the freeway, I was able to get out and run. I found a couple of other rides and soon was far away. I was never going back. The last ride I got, the man gave me a clean shirt to put on over my dress and he gave me a blanket. He let me ride for a few hours and I had a bollte of clean water to drink. I offered to pay him for the ride, but he said "No thatks" and that I shouldn't have to do that to expect kindness from people. I just smile at him as he drive off. He was out of sight and I started walking.

I walked for a while, then set down at the road side. I guess I fell asleep, cause I woke up and it was dark. I saw some light and went towards it. That's when I realized it was a car coming my way. I tried to turn and run, but I tripped over the blanket and fell, just as the car was going past. I rolled down a little hill and laid there groaning. I was tired and hungry. I guess I started to cry. The car had backed up and someone got out looking for me. I was crying and they heard me. Next thing I knew, two guys were carrying me to the car and they put me in the back. One of the guys got in the back with me. I been told by my sister and step-mother what to do, so I pushed away the blanket and pulled off the shirt. I reached for the button on my dress, but the man said no. Just to sit still. He said he was going to take me home, and I thought he meant my home. I screamed "NO" and tried to jump out of the car. He kept me from jumping and said, Not my home, his home. He held me tightly as the other man drove.

As the man held on to me, the other steered the car. Soon, the car came to a gate and it opened as we went thru. Up a long drive, then stopped in front of a mansion. I could only see a little of it and it was big. The man in the back seat with me was called Roger and he pulled me out of the car into his arms. The other man, Larry, opened doors and led us into the house. Roger and Larry took me to an upstairs room and set me on a bed. I didn't know what to do.

Roger pulled the blanket back and make a scratchy sound from his throat. Larry came over as they pulled the blanked off. They looked at each other, then back at me. Larry told Roger to start a bath. Then he started to take off my dress. It didn't cover much of me and was worn thru in places. He breathed funny when he saw my dirty body and that I didn't have no underwear on. I pulled my knees up to hide myself as he looked at me. He reached for my hand, but I just sat there rocking back and forth. I was waiting for him to do what I knew was gonna happen, but he just stood there in his clothes, watching.

I had fainted again. I had been doing that a lot recently. I would get tired and real hungry and if I didn't get food for a few days, my sister and step mother would find me unconscious. They usually just kicked me or pushed me out of the way. It was only if dad was comming home that they would pick me up. Dad wouldn't see me like this, cause they'd tell him that I was visiting friends. He thought it was nice that I had friends. Ha!

I woke up and felt something around me. I was wrapped in a blanket and it sure smelled nice. Then I saw that there was someone next to me and I musta done something, cause the man opened his eyes. He smiled at me, then said "Morning, Sweetie. I hope you're feeling better. You gave us quite a scare last night." I just nodded my head. The man pushed the covers off of nim and got out of bed. Golly, he was wearing fancy pj's. He smiled and said he'd be right back as he went into another room. I heard him peeing and then flushing the toilet. In a couple of minutes he came back into the room. "Do you need to use the toilet?" I shook my head yes and slid off the bed. He smiled as I held the blanked tightly and scooted to the toilet.

The bathroom was huge. It had a big mirror and two sinks and a big bathtub and everything. Just like in the magazines. WoW! The I realized that he would get mad if I took a long time, so I did my business and washed up. I dropped the blanket to sit on the toilet and as I looked at me in the mirror, I saw how bad I looked. But I was clean and had a few bandages on my arms and legs. I didn't even know till I looked in the mirror.

When I got back in the bedroom, the man just smiled. The blanket was starting to slip off and he said, "Looks like we need to you something for you to wear". Then he started to open drawers, but couldn't find anything. He went out the door leaving me standing. I heard him talking to the other guy, then he came back in. I looked up at him and kinda smiled. He had been nice so far. He reached for my hand and started to walk to the door, but the blanket tripped me and I fell. He gave a small laugh and then he picked me up. I was naked and scared. I turned my face into his neck and started to weep. He patted me on the back and stood there saying "There, there, it'll be alright". I just cried more. He held me close talking softly to me as his friend came in the door. He was holding out a piece of clothind as he entered. "I found this" was all he said as he laid it on the bed. It was a t-shirt and a set of panties.

The first man, Roger, set me on the bed and pulled the t-shirt over me head, then helped me stand and pulled up the panties. Both were big on me, but when I tried to walk, the panties slipped down my legs. I fell. Roger helped me up and took the tangled panties off my ankles. I was just going to have to wear the t-shirt like a dress. Heck, I didn't wear panties anyway. Larry found a small belt and they put it around my waist and pulled at the shirt, so it looked nice. I smiled at them and said thank you. Roger just picked me up and kissed my cheek. Carrying me, we left the room.

We went to the kitchen and they gave me a glass of juice to drink. I was real thirsty and tried to drink too fast and it went down wrong cause I started coughing. They said to drink slow. I tried, but the juice burned my mouth, so I spit it out. Instead I drank water. They fixed some food and gave me some, but I got sick from it. I was laying on the floor, feeling bad. I didn't want to be hit again. The two men talked for a few minutes, then one went out of the room. The other came over to me and helped me up. He said I was gonna go to the doctor. I screamed. I didn't want to go to the doctor. Thats where they did bad things to me.

A blanket was wrapped around me and they just carried me to the car. I guess I had to go. I couldn't fight them. Suprise! The doctor was N-I-C-E!, and a girl. I was examined and gave a shot and a piece of paper for some medicine. I asked if it was gonna be more vitamins and the doctor said no, but since I had been taking 'Vitamins' for a long time, I would have to continue to take them, but not the big ones. The doctor said that she would come out to the house in a week to check up on me.

Larry and Roger took me to a store and got me some clothes. They couldn't believe I was 17 years old, but I was real small and had to wear little girls clothes. I didn't mind. I finally got clothes. Larry and Roger treated me nice.

I still live with my foster fathers. I call them Daddy and they love it. Yes they are Gay, but who cares. Larry is a lawyer and Roger is a landscaper. They really love each other and me. They were a breath of fresh air after my old life. They arranged tutors for me to catch up with schooling and helped me with counseling. I have lived with them for the last six years.

Now I'm standing at the bedside of my sister and the old feelings have begun to resurface. I know that deep inside I am afraid of her and that she is pure evil. Yet, there is still the saying "Blood is thicker than water". I inhaled the odors of the hospital room and stepped into the hallway. Larry and Roger followed me out. They stood, one on each side of me as my sister's doctor and lawyer stepped through the doorway. The doctor and lawyer looked at me and I smiled weakly. I glanced at Roger and Larry and turned to the other two men and said "I'm not gonna beat around the bush. I will not give up a kidney so that, that, T-H-I-N-G can live. May she rot in HELL!" I looked at my two dads and said "Daddy, let's go home."

The remaining brothers watched as their mother sat in the parlor. She was weeping as she held a family photo. Seated in the photo, she was surrounded by her four sons, four sons not the three that were in attendance; an attendance required by the death and burial of their father. As she looked longingly at the picture she thought ‘If only I had listened.’

“…And I’m telling you for the last time. It ain’t gonna happen. Christ, we don’t even know where he is.” He spoke in almost a whisper, not wanting his mother to hear him speak

Taking a sip from his drink, the youngest brother said in the same type of voice “Well, we’ll just have to look. Can’t hurt.” He flicked his head towards the parlor and the sight of their mother holding a family picture.

“Fine, great. But how? I mean, he just took off. It’s not like he sent letters or post cards. We haven’t heard from him for years.”

The first brother thought for a minute and then asked “Ok, what do we know? Huh? Well he allegedly left to go to college but never arrived. We check the towns from here to there. Maybe we can rule out some of the smaller ones.” He looked at his brother with hope in his eyes.

The older brother had remained silent during this conversation. Finally he said “Court records.”

“Huh? I mean…” the youngest brother started.

The oldest brother began again “We look for anything filed with his name on it. That will at least give us a start. Sure we’ll get lots of false leads, but maybe and I mean just maybe, it’ll pay off.”

The first brother said “One thing though. What do we do if we find him?”

The oldest brother smiled and said “Let’s find him first. Huh?”

"Mom, geez, I'm busy in here!"

"Oops, sorry." Janet replied, as she let the bathroom door close. Taking a step down the hall, she hesitated then reopened the bathroom door. "Terry, make sure you wash your hands when you are done and then go to your room and change out of those dirty clothes."

"Mom..."

Janet just ignored the cries from her 12 year old and continued talking, "Then gather them up and bring them to the Laundry Room along with the Bathroom Hamper. Got it?" Without waiting for a reply, she made her way down the hall.

"Geez, can't a person get any privacy around here?!" intoned her son to the closed door. Finishing with the toilet, Terry flushed and proceeded to wash his hands. Muttering all the while, Terry did as he was instructed, bringing the hamper to his mother in the Laundry Room.

Janet smiled at him when he entered, saying "There that didn't hurt at all, did it?" Not waiting for a reply, Janet emptied the hamper and began sorting the clothes. After a few moments, Janet realized that her son had not left the Laundry room, but was fidgeting by the door. Not to look a gift horse in the mouth, Janet seized this opportunity by saying, "Since you can't find anything to do, pick up that pile of clothes and put them in the washer." She pointed a finger at the pile in front of Terry.

Again, Terry gave out with the old tried and true comment, "Mom."

"Mom, nothing, you had your chance to leave, now just do as you're told," replied Janet.

He grabbed the pile and was stuffing them into the washer when he realized that this was everyone’s underwear. As if startled by this, he let the pile of clothes fall to the floor. He glanced over at his mom to see if she noticed and seeing no reaction from her, he picked up a couple of pieces and put them in the machine. As his hand came into contact with a pair of his sister's panties, he felt a strange sensation in his belly. To make things worse, he let out a big burp. Covering his mouth after the fact he looked sheepishly at his mother as he said, "Sorry, Mom, scuze me."

"That's all right, Honey, just wash your hands when you are done, then you can go play."

"Sure, Mom," Terry said, "Back for Dinner."

Janet continued to do the Laundry and the other household cleaning chores without any apparent concern over the status of her child. Terry was just a normal 12 year old boy as far as she could tell. He played ball with his friends, disobeyed his parents and picked on his sister. Such was the stuff that boys were made of. Sugar and spice and everything nice was what girls were made of, that's what the old Nursery Rhyme said.

Around the dinner table that evening, Janet and Ted engaged the kids in conversation. Checking on what they had been up to during the day as well as plans for the next day. Summer vacation was in full swing and both parents wanted to keep up with the comings and goings of their kids. The talk was lite and happy, no sign of any problem. Anyone watching them would see a very positive family role model. After the meal was finished, Terry stayed in the kitchen with his mom. Unused to this voluntary help from her son, Janet asked, "Something on your mind, Terry?"

There was something on his mind and he didn't know how to talk about it. Terry fidgeted a bit, then said, "Mom, I..uhh. I."

"Come on Terry, you can tell your dear old Mom."

"It's just that," Terry began, then stopped as his mother looked at him. "I, uh..." Not being able to say anything more, Terry ran from the room crying. He wanted to tell his mom about being mistaken for a girl, but was scared.

Concern flooded Janet's face as she too ran towards Terry's room. On the way she called out, "Ted! Quick."

Seeing where she was heading, Ted met her outside Terry's door. Pausing to catch her breath, both Janet and Ted heard their son crying quietly inside. They looked into each other's eye and then opened the door. Janet saw Terry sitting on the edge of his bed and sat down beside him. She put her arm around him and pulled him to her for comfort. Ted grabbed Terry's desk chair and sat facing the duo.

Janet let her son cry for a few minutes more then directing Ted to get a tissue, she wiped away the tears flooding from her sons eyes. Taking another tissue she held it to his nose and said, "Blow." Only after Terry had wiped his nose several times did he seem to relax. Janet took this time to ask, "Now, Terry, what's going on?"

Terry was at a loss. He didn't know what was wrong. That he had just started crying was strange to him. After all, he was a BOY. He played Baseball and Football, ok not tackle, but still football, did tricks on his bicycle to impress the girls and hung out with his friends. Let's not forget picking on his sister as much as he could. He was at a loss to say what was wrong. Clueless.

Both parents looked at each other and said nothing. Janet sat holding her son close as Ted looked on. After several minutes, Ted said, "Terry, you ok now?"

Terry shook his head 'Yes'.

"Ok then, if you want to talk about what's wrong, just let us know. OK?"

Again Terry shook his head 'Yes'.

Hugging her son close to her, Janet kissed his forehead. "We'll be here if you need us.", she said quietly.

"Ok, Mommy."

Exchanging a glance, his parents left his room and proceeded to their room. Once inside, Janet and Ted looked at each other and smiled weakly. Both started to speak at once and anxious to hear what Ted had to say Janet let him start again. "Well, what do you think? Would it be a good idea to tell him?", Ted asked hopefully.

Janet took her time before answering. "Maybe we should just watch him for a little while. It may be too soon for anything more complicated. I mean this could just be nothing."

Her eyes gave her away and Ted crossed to her and held her close. Looking into her face he replied, "Ok, we'll see what else happens, then decide." With nothing else to say, he gave her a quick kiss and they went about the rest of the evening each left to their own thoughts.

Terry did not know why he had started to cry and it shook him. He began to question himself and who he was. Not no sissy boy, that's for sure. Still, in the back of his mind something was happening. Maybe he should talk to Debbie. She usually came in before bed and they talked, tonight he'd ask some questions.

As he waited for his sister, Terry went through a range of emotions. Foremost was fright. He was afraid of what was happening to him. The boy the other day was the last in a long line of 'Daymares' and he was confused. Helping with the laundry had affected him, too. It's not like he hadn't seen Debbie's panties before. Heck, they often took baths together. It was just something else for him to consider. He sat and waited.

A noise on the stairs brought him out of his reverie and he smiled as Debbie entered his room. Her hand was held out reaching for him and he eagerly grasped it. Debbie felt the urgency of his touch and waited for him to 'speak'. No words passed between the two, instead a complex set of hand signals was used to pass information from one to another. These two had been using a silent form of comunication for years and had refined it to the point that seldom did they have to use their voices to understand each other, unless there were others around. Their method of 'talking' was their secret.

*****Interlude: Bath Time*****

Mom had a hard time holding a squirming Terry upright in the half filled tub. His arms were splashing water all over and Janet was getting drenched. She had not prepared to get wet while bathing Terry and was upset at this turn of events. Terry could sense her emotional upset and was crying. The noise from his cries brought his sister into the bathroom.

"Whatcha doin?"

"Trying to give your brother a bath. Wanna help?"

Debbie looked at her mom and said "Ok." She pulled off her pants and shirt and pushed down her panties. She stepped over the edge of the tub and looked up at her mommy. "Ok, mommy, I'm ready to help." She was smiling brightly.

Janet saw the look of wonder on her daughters face. "Here, Honey, just hold Terry against your chest for now." With that said Janet placed Terry between Debbies legs and placed her hands on his waist. Amazingly, Terry settled back against his sister and all of his splashing stopped. Janet soaped the cloth and washed Terry's front and then with Debbie's assistance, moved him to wash his back. This bath had gone better with Debbie in the tub and Janet made a mental note to herself to involve Debbie in Terry's baths. That bath started a pattern that even puberty would not interrupt and was also the begining of the strange world of instant messaging between the duo.

*****Present*****

Terry told her about the boy calling him a 'young lady' and the comments that followed. He also told her about the episode with the laundry and how it upset him. Debbie was curious about everything and they sat silently for several minutes passing information back and forth. At the end, Debbie signaled 'I don't know' and smiled. Terry felt better and giving each other a good night kiss, they went to their own beds.

The next morning, Terry seemed to have forgotten about what happened. To all appearance, he was a normal 12 year old boy. He quickly wolfed down his breakfast and ran out the door. "Back at Lunch, Mom!", he yelled as he rode off on his bike.

This being Saturday, Ted came into the kitchen for another cup of coffee. Seeing Terry ride out of the yard, he asked, “Everything ok?”

Janet smiled and answered, “I guess so.”

Ted walked over to the window and stood beside his wife for a few seconds then took her hand in his. Janet glanced sideways at Ted then kissed his cheek. Neither said anything else as they became lost in their thoughts. Both parents were still looking out the window when their almost 13 year old daughter, Debra, walked in the room. “Hey, guys, what’s up?”, she asked cheerfully.

“Oh, nothing.” Janet replied, letting go of Ted’s hand. “What are your plans for the day, Honey?" This said to Debbie.

“Oh, you know, maybe the Mall or a movie with friends, the usual.” the happy teenager said.

“Make sure you’re back by 5PM.”, Janet insisted.

“K, bye Mom.” Debbie kissed her mother on the cheek and left the room.

Ted looked after Debbie as she went out the front door, then turned and went into the Study. While the house did not actually have a real Study, the style of the house allowed one of the downstairs rooms to be used for that purpose. Sitting at his desk, Ted was looking at a digital photo album on his computer. He was full of mixed emotions as he scrolled through the file named for his daughter, thinking about what the future had in store for his son.

*****Interlude:Reflections*****

Ted and Janet had been truly amazed when their son was born. From the time had showed the developing baby to be a boy, both parents had eagerly awaited the arrival of their child. Boys born into Janet’s family were quite rare and the blessed event was regarded as a miracle. Now it seemed that the idea of a miracle may be short lived.

Ted could still hear the Doctor excitedly showing him the tape of the Ultrasound that Janet had undergone when pregnant with Debbie. The Doctor was quick to point out emerging physical characteristics on the unborn child, including a budding penis. The second ultrasound could find no sign of the penis and both parents came away from the Doctor’s appointment with a sense of grief. The grief was short lived when Janet delivered a healthy baby girl, Debra.

Debra, or Debbie as she liked to called now, was not one to let well enough alone. From an early age, she became the center of everything around her. She filled rooms with her laughter and good looks. She was a happy child and when Janet became pregnant for the second time, Debbie wanted to help her Mommy in any way she could.

When Janet brought Terry home from the hospital, the house was like a carnival. All of the relatives that could gathered to see the baby boy. And they all wanted to see proof of the baby’s sex. It was a joyous time for all involved. Ted and Janet had all of the help they needed to help care for their new son. Debbie was not overlooked during this time and was treated with much respect by her Aunts, Uncles and Cousins. After much celebrating and catching up on family events, Ted and Janet were left alone with their new family and soon settled into a regular routine. That’s how things had gone during the past 12 years, now it seemed that everything might be changing.

*****Continuing: In the Present*****

Ted gazed out the window, lost in thought when Janet came in the room.

“Ted, Dear, you ok?”

“Huh?”, came the reply, as he turned to look at Janet.

“I said…”

“Yea, sure. Just thinking.” Ted stopped talking and smiled weakly. “Um, why don’t we go up stairs and look in Terry’s room? Might find something.”

Janet could see that he was upset and sensing that this might help, agreed.

Entering Terry’s room, the parents saw nothing unusual. Unmade bed, clothes on the floor, the usual for an 12 year old boy. Still, they looked in the closet and dresser. Finding nothing they looked in the bathroom. Still nothing. Both parents took this as a good sign and went back downstairs.

“I guess we’ll just wait, like you said.” Ted said and wandered off.

Terry, however, had met up with his friends. They had been inseperable for several years and the joke was that they were triplets born of different mothers. The mothers did get along well and that made the friendship better. The three boys had big plans for the Summer and it was spread out before them.

They rode to the park and did bike tricks and just hung out. The audience at the park was fickle and soon wandered away, leaving the three boys alone. With no public to cheer them on, they too decided to do something else. But what.

Paul looked at his watch and shook his head saying "How bout we get a coke?" The others agreed and off they went to the local joint. Now this joint was normally filled with upper classmen during the school year, but as school was out for the Summer, there should be plenty of room and a lot less hassle today. Parking the bikes in front, the three boys went in and found an open booth.

Terry grabbed the menu from the end of the table and started reading. Paul looked at him and said "Whoa, like, dude, it's just for a coke. No needa da menu." he laughed.

Terry looked up and replied "I was gonna get somethin to eat, I'm starved." He continued reading the menu as Paul talked.

The girl waiting the tables came over and Paul and Tim ordered a Cherry Coke with extra Cherries. The girl just shrugged her shoulders at their attempt at inuendo. Terry, still looking at the menu, said "Tuna on Whole Wheat, Cole Slaw and a Unsweetened Tea." He put the menu back in the holder. Giving Terry a parting smile she turned in the order.

"Uh, like dude, did I just hear you order Tuna fish? And with Tea. Like are you sick or something, I mean that sounded like my sister ordering. Dude, get a grip." Paul commented.

"Hey, I like Tuna and I'm hungry". Terry replied, glad to be interupted by the arrival of the drinks. Both Paul and Tim were eagerly counting the stems from the Cherries in their drinks as Terry put artificial sweetener in his tea. Taking a drink through the straw, the boys talk blended into the normal background noises of the hangout.

A few minutes later the girl returned with the Tuna on Whole Wheat. "Here you go, Hun" she said putting the plate down in front of Terry and smiling again. Terry picked up a sandwich half and took a bite. As he chewed he listened to the chatter around him. "Kinda cute." "Too young" "Must be on a diet." "Did you see Earl's new ride?" "My girlfriend would kill me." "Give her a few more years." "My ole man wants me to get a job." These comments just went in one ear and out the other.

Terry was finishing the Slaw when the girl returned asking "Seperate checks?" The boys bobbing heads indicated 'Yes'. "Be right back." True to her word, she returned to the table and place a slip of paper in front of Paul and Tim, then turned to leave.

Terry looked up as she was turning and asked "Uh, Miss, where's my check?" The girl pointed over her shoulder and said "It's been taken care of." She smiled at Terry and went back behind the counter. "Who, dude, you like got a free lunch, way cool." Both Paul and Tim chimed in. "Uh, catch you guys outside."Terry slid out of the booth and walked to the door. As he stepped across the threshold and into the warmth of the sun the waitress called out "Bye, Hun, have a nice day". The other boys made it out and grabbed their bikes. They debated what to do and set off for adventure. The day was still young.

Inside the local hangout, two older boys were talking. "Did you get a look at her?" This was followed by the second boy replying "I know, kinda young, but there was something about her that got to me and did you see how she looked. Wow!" The first boy chuckled and said "Yea, and got to your wallet too. And the answer to the last part is Wow, too."

Meanwhile Terry, leading his friends down a nearby hill, was about to come face to face with a new reality.

Trucks do what trucks do. Different sizes mean different jobs, but mainly trucks carry large loads. That was no different today. The brown delivery truck pulled up near the corner and the driver checked his manifest ensuring that he had the right address for the next delivery. Without looking up, he let his foot off the brake and the truck gained speed and moved into the intersection. Too late the driver looked up and saw the thin kid on the bicycle heading right for him. Rather that slamming on the brakes, the driver grabbed the wheel and turned violently to the left away from the impact praying that he could put a safe distance between the vehicles. The accident investigators would say that it was a good call and that he had minimized the damage to the boy, but still. In his heart he knew that he had hurt the child. He would see this accident replayed by his mind for years to come.

Police and ambulance crews converged on the scene. Traffic was rerouted and EMS personnel knelt at the side of the injured child. A cervical collar was put on the kid's neck and a splint was placed on the upper right arm, with another following to the leg. The body was rolled to the side and after ensuring that the back ot the victim was clear, the victim was placed on a back board. The backboard was lifted and placed on a rolling stretcher (gurney) and adjusted to allow the EMTs access to better manage the injuries. A radio was in evidence and there was two-way communication with an Emergency Room doctor. IVs were started and vital signs taken, the gurney was loaded into the back of the waiting vehicle and with lights on and siren sounding, the vehicle entered traffic for the trip to the Emergency Room and continued care.

"Man, this is one hurt little girl." commented a seasoned EMT. The second EMT riding in the passenger compartment looked up at his companions words, but didn't say a thing. He had thought he had seen a penis as the child was rolled over for inspection, but as the child had been rolled to its back, the tear in the clothes covered any trace of the sex of the child. Still, he had to admit that the child did look like a girl and that smell from the child was similar to his young daughter. Maybe he'd ask the doc at the ED. He took another Blood Pressure reading and called out the numbers per SOP.

Not soon enough for the EMTs the ambulance pulled into the ED entry. The back door was thrown open and the gurney was pulled out. One EMT at the head and one at the foot guided the gurney into the maw of the waiting hospital ED. The patient was transferred to a bed and the senior EMT handed the Attending a page from his clip board and offered a verbal report, complete with treatment at the scene. Checking to see that the victim was stable, the doctor ordered routine labs, catheterization and a series of x-rays. Soon nurses and other personnel were busy performing steps that would provide a clinical picture of the victim's injuries and offer a diagnosis and a possible prognosis.

The phone was ringing and Janet caught it as the answering machine clicked in. She listened and as the words continued, she dropped the hand piece and fell to the floor. Ted heard the noise from his study and went to investigate. He found Janet on the floor and the phone laying nearby. A voice was coming from the phone and he distractedly put the insturment next to his ear. "Mrs. Miller, did you hear me?" came the voice.

Ted replied "Uh, can you repeat it again?" He had no idea what had been said and anxiously waited as the person spoke. Ted flinched and his hand tightened on the phone as the person verified Ted's ID and stated that his daughter was in the Hopsital ED. He was given the name of the Attending Physician and asked to hurry to the ED with all due care. Ted silently hung up the phone, then looked at Janet laying on the floor. He shook her shoulder to wake her and as she roused, he helped her to her feet. She was unsteady and he held her firmly for several seconds. Finally he asked if she was ok and watching her shake her head 'Yes' he recapped the phone call. A quick note was left telling Terry to stay home should he arrive before they returned, then both parents went to the hospital. And to a new reality.

Janet followed Ted into the hospital and up to the bored attendant at the desk. Identifying themselves, Ted asked where his daughter was. After a few minutes wait, the attendant gave them the location of the child and issued a ED pass, allowing them access to the inner sanctum of the ED. One step closer to their child.

If fortune has a sense of humor, it was now that this sense of humor came into play. Janet's cell phone rang and as she pulled it from her purse, she noted that the caller was Debbie. Stoppng her walk down the hallway, she said "Where are you?" Not waiting for a reply, she shouted to Ted and then said into the speaker "Go home now. Don't argue, don't wait, HOME now. We'll talk later." Looking up she said "That was Deb. Now let's find out what this is about." Ted shook his head and they continued on their path shortly arriving at the numbered room. Pulling the curtain aside, there was no one in the room. Janet and Ted just looked at each other and shrugged. Each was thinking the same thing 'What's going on here?'

As they stood looking at the room curtain, a man came out from the next cubicle. Seeing them, he asked "Are you the parents?" and not waiting for an answer, he immediately called for a nurse. Issuing orders, he turned again to the pair. Seeing the look of confusion on their face, he again asked "Are you Terry's parents." Both heads bobbed up and down at this question. The doctor seing the repy continued "He's had bad accident. Almost hit a delivery truck head-on, only thing that saved him was the quick thinking of the driver, seems he turned the wheel hard to the left to avoid the head-on, lucky too." Janet paled at the words and leaned into Ted. "Right this way, he's in here." the doctor led them into the room. Terry appeared smaller than he was as he lay on the bed. There were tubes and machinery all around him. Something covered his right arm and his right leg was supported by ropes hanging from an overbed frame. A tube was pumping air into his lungs and a bag was collecting a yellowish fluid at the bedside. Janet moved to the bedside and placed a hand on his forehead. "Terry, dear, Terry, Mommy's here." She was sobbing. Ted looked at the sight of his son and blanched. He too was sobbing. Janet turned to the doctor and asked "How long will he be in here?"

The doctor raised an eyebrow at the question, but said nothing for a few moments. Then said "Well, Terry has a concussion, a broken right Radius and right Femur and several bruised ribs on the right side. His chemistries are good, UA is clear and O2 sats are fine. We need to relook the arm in a few days and decide what else to do, the ribs are gonna be sore and the scrapes will all heal ok."

Janet and Ted acknowledged the doctor and listened as he continued. "We'll be moving him to the peds ward as soon as we get a bed. I'd like to have him in a semi-private room. I think it would be better for him to not be alone. He's gonna be scared and another person close by could be helpful. I'll let you know when we're gonna move him. Any questions?"

"How long do you think he'll be here?" asked Ted.

"Probably about 4 to 6 weeks, if we're lucky and while we're on that I'd like your permission to put him into a room with girls."

Again Ted looked at the doctor and studied the man before replying, "Why girls?"

The doctor didn't hesitate "First they will accept him easier, second he seems to have the staff reacting like he is a girl. Third, the boys might upset the balance of his traction and he needs stability. And I know the nurses on the Girls Pediatric Ward and they want him there."

Terry's parents put their heads together in qiuet conversation. Then looking up at the doctor, Janet said "Ok, when are you gonna move him." The doctor replied "Immediately." As soon as this was said, two medical people started to unhook some of the items attached to Terry and asking the parents to follow, began to push the bed through the door and down a long hallway.

The bed was noisy and the wheels clicked on the tile floor. The tiny figure on the bed staired listlessly at the passing ceiling tiles. The bed halted in front of a stainless steel door and a button was pressed. The attendants and the family rode the elevator up in silence. Out of the elevator crying and other sounds could be heard. These sounds were drowned out by the clicking of the wheels as the bed rolled down the hall. Stopping at a Nurse's station, the attendants placed a folder on the counter and inquired which room was assigned. The Nurse looked at the papers and leading the way took Terry into his new semi-permanent home.

There were two occupied beds in the room and each held a young girl. They sat up as Terry was wheeled into the room and watched as several items were connected to wall outlets. Ensuring that the traction was correct and that the Oxygen was flowing properly, the nurse checked the IV and verified the flow rate she, then, held Terry's wrist and counted his pulse rate. She reached into her smock pocket and extracted a stethoscope and listened to Terry's chest and belly. Jotting down her findings, she glanced at the parents nervously standing by. After a few more minutes, she asked if one parent could accompany her to the Nurse's station. There she took down information about food preferences, allergies and likes and dislikes, also verifying his gender and age. She used the information to prepare several stickers that she placed on the outside of the door.

The little girls are curious. Being in a hospital in pretty boring for a child and a new roommate is exciting. The room had space for four beds, but only three were actually allowed in the room. The remaining space was used as a sitting area for visitors and parents. This was a long term care room and often family members would spend the occasional night near their loved one. One of the little girls asked "What's your daughter's name?"

Janet roused from her thoughts asked what the girl had said. The little girl repeated her question and without thinking, Janet said "Terry." The little girl hardly paused as she asked "How old is she?" To which Janet answered "Twelve." The questions asked were answered on autopilot. Janet didn't even process the pronoun used in the questions. She was looking intently at her son and everything else was just ignored.

The little girls were excited that a big girl was sharing their room. The oldest of the two was only 9 and a half and let's not forget that to little girls and boys, the halfs add up. So it was with smiling faces that the girls eagerly awaited talking to their new roommate. An older girl would bring an air of sophistication to their room. After all to a 9 year old, twelve is almost a teenager.

Ted returned to the room. He crossed over to Janet and watched his son lying in the bed. Such a small frail boy, or so it seemed. Usually Terry was full of life, bright smile, eager to please and tease. Debbie would have to help with more around the house now and also spend time at Terry's bedside. That wouldn't be a problem as they got along well. Well except for the teasing. Still, Debbie doted on her brother. Ted watched Janet, then retreiving a chair, he placed it beside her. She sat without conscious thought. Ted placed a hand on her shoulder and said "Janet, I'm going to go home and talk to Debbie. We'll bring you back some take-out, then see what we can do about getting Terry settled in." With that said, he bent and kissed Janet bye.

*****Interlude: Little sister*****

The little girl was watching her mother change her baby brother. She handed her mother items as she was asked. When finished, the little girl watched the baby as her mother disposed of the soiled diaper. An elderly woman spying the little girl smiled and said "That your sister, she's pretty." Debbie smiled and shook her head 'Yes'. She was used to having everyone thinking Terry was a girl. Sometimes she thought Terry was a girl too. Terry even smelled like girl. Debbie liked the smell.

She was always happy to be near Terry and they formed a close bond that grew as did they. Terry was a nice kid and even Debbie's friends liked him. Too often they would comment about how they would forget that he was a boy. And they loved his smell. Often times they would be setting on the couch with Terry nestled between them. This caused Terry some embarasment as he got bigger.

When Debbie began puberty, her parents watched her as inconspicuously as possible. Her growth and development did not appear to be abnormal and she began her female growth without any problems. She received the same mother's care as she got her period and her boobs began to grow, Janet talked to her about 'Sex" and what it meant to be a girl and a Lady in society. She was taken to a Pediatric Gynecologist for her first female physical and was assured that every thing was fine. Her development was charted and Janet was told to make any follow-up appointments as needed. Debbie quickly settled into the life of a pubescent girl and it was this phase of her life that caused her to grow apart from her brother. Terry felt the division and rebelled by increased teasing and tormenting his sister. Still, the tie that bound them was strong and they shared a greater sibling closeness than other chidren their ages.

*****Present*****

Ted drove carefully home. He was lost in thought and arrived before he realized it. The lights were on and so he knew Debbie was home. How to explain what happened was the biggie for the night. That and how Debbie would react. The kids always broke that rule. Terry may pick on her, but when he was threatened Debbie turned into a fierce predator. As she often said, 'No one is allowed to pick on you except me' and she meant every word. The kids in the neighbor-hood had found this out as well as the few that tried anything at school. Now Ted had to face his daughter.

Debbie heard the car pull in and the motor stop. No sound of a door slamming caused her to look outside. Her dad was still in the car with his head looking down. Debbie watched for a few minutes and seeing no movement, quickly turned off the lights, grabbed her purse and went out the door, locking it after her. She knocked on the passenger window and the door was unlocked. Getting in, Debbie said "Let's go." Ted didn't say a word, he just restarted the car and putting it in reverse, backed out on to the street. Stopping to put the car in drive, he accelerated towards the hospital. Debbie watched her father as he drove. he was on autopilot and drove as such. Passing a Chinese take-out place, Debbie said "Turn in here." Ted did as instructed and pulled into the drive thru. The order was placed and money exchanged and food received. Ted continued the drive to the hospital in silence. Debbie had not said a thing after getting the take-out. Now seeing their destination, she looked at her father and said "Daddy, is Terry gonna live?" Then letting out a sob, continued "Oh, God, let my brother live."

Ted looked at his daughter "How did you know about Terry?" he asked. "You were with your friends all day."

Debbie said matter of factly "I always know what he's up to. Besides, Mom left a note." She opened the car door and got out. "Come on, he'll be awake soon." She led a stunned father across the parking lot towards the waiting door.

Inside the automatic door and straight down the hall, turn right and take the second elevator, Debbie was leading her father through a maze. "Come on Daddy. Terry's awake and needs us!" Debbie was making no sense to Ted. The elevator door opened and they got in for the ride up to the fourth floor. Ted looked at Debbie and asked "Debbie, how do you know that Terry's awake and asking for us?" Even as he asked the question, he wondered if he wanted to know the answer.

Coming out of the elevator, Debbie began walking faster leaving her dad to trail behind. She stopped outside Terry's room and took a deep breath. Her pulse was racing and heart fluttering. Sure Terry had got into messes before, but not like this. And she knew something no one else did. But maybe that could wait. She pushed open the door and entered. "Hi squirt." she said in greeting.

There was no answer from Terry, but that didn't stop her from talking. "Geeze, can't you even ride a bicycle?" Still no reaction, but by the sound of the breathing, Terry was awake. Debbie paused too look around and saw the two girls. She smiled at them and turned back to her brother "Terry, you can talk to me now." She stepped to the bed and held his hand.

Debbie held Terry's hand. She could feel his fingers press into her skin. That he was trying to say something silently was not unusual. They had an unspoken form of communication that they often used. Now Terry was telling his sister some inportant stuff. 'lunch, free, thought I girl' then hand code said. 'Mad, angry, Paul, laughed, rode off' Terry's fingers continued the delicate code dance.

Debbie too held firmly to the brother's hand 'Dummy, truck, not watch you' she signaled. Text messaging had nothing on this duo. Her hand continued 'Ok, 4-6 weeks, better, tell Lisa and all, talk to Paul and all, visitors.' Then she smiled and her hand squeezed out 'Thought u girl, who, waitress or cute boy?' she smiled. Debbie had known for some time that there was something special about her brother. He just didn't smell like a boy. Even before bathing, he wasn't musty like a regular boy. And after a bath, he was like a breath of fresh air, and she's not the only one that thought so.

*****Interlude: Smells*****

At first Terry was embarassed about the way he smelled. It came out one day when his bud, Paul was over. Paul raised his face to the sky and made a loud sniffing sound. "Smell that?' he asked.

Terry smiffed and smelled nothing. "Smell what? You fart again, butthole."

Paul shook his head no and continued. "No, dummy, like flowers or something. Can't you smell it. It's comming from your direction." Paul was walking towards Terry sniffing.

Terry backed up saying "Get that big honker outa my face, weirdo."

Paul just kept walking closer saying "No the smell, it's like.." his voice trailed off as he stopped in front of Terry. Paul's eyes got big and he blurted out "It's you, dude, that's what I smell. Kinda like a girl. But different. Did your sis like, make you wear her perfume? No, no, it's not perfume, kinda tangy." Paul teased.

That Terry was embarassed was an understatement "I don't wear perfume, butthole."

The episode was soon behind them as they got their bikes and went in search of adventure. Paul would forgot the episode, but others would wonder what that enticing smell was.

*****Present*****

Terry opened his eyes and looked around. Debbie was still there as was his Mom and Dad. Terry also saw two little faces staring at him from across the room. He had to focus on them, then realized that they were girls. He was in a girls room, or were they in a boys room. Even though he was 12, he knew that there were somethings that boys and girls, well except for him and Debbie, didn't do and share a bedroom was one of those things. Terry looked at his Mom and said in a scratchy voice "Hi, Mom."

Janet jumped up from the chair and leaned over her baby boy "Hi, Honey, you feeling better?" She smiled at her son.

Terry smiled back and said "As good as I can, right now." He looked around the room. Debbie was at the bed standing next to Dad. Ted has his arm draped protectively across her shoulders. He smiled weakly at his son and said "Hi, son, you sure took a bicycle ride, huh?"

Terry smiled back and started to tear up. Ted continued "Hey, champ, it's ok. And the truck driver was a smart driver. He turned hard to the left to try and miss you. Lucky for both of you."

Janet stroked Terry's face and smiled. There was so much she wanted to say, but the words would not come out. She was afraid that if she tried to talk, she'd just breakdown and start crying. Terry was alive and comming out of his ordeal. That was enough for now

Ted continued "Look, Champ, you don't have to worry about anything. You just lay there and get better. Mom, your Sis and I will be here for a while, then we'll have to go home tonight. Mom and Debbie will be back tomorrow and I'll see you after work. You just take it easy. Tomorrow, we'll all talk to the doctor about what's gonna happen with you." Ted just smiled at his son. As any father would, Ted would eagerly trade places with his child, but in his mind he knew it was a stupid thing to think.

Debbie was holding Terry's hand and squeezed 'Dad, scared, crying'. Terry looked up at his father and gave him a small smile. "Thanks Dad." was added vocally.

No one has fun in the hospital. Let's qualify that statement. Hardly any of the patients have fun in the Hospital and Terry was no exception. His ribs were sore and made it hard to breathe. The traction on his leg was uncomfortable and the cast was heavy. Used to a life free of encumberances, Terry had to adjust to his new reality. A reality of having a tube in his..well, you know and having a needle in his arm. There were things that might have been considered neat provided they were afixed to someone else. The afternoon wore on and visiting time was over.

"Terry, we'll be back in the morning and then see what the doctor has planned." Janet said as she looked at her son. She bent and kissed his forehead.

Debbie was next and she squeezed his hand and kissed him,too "See ya in the morning Squirt."

Ted was last to say goodnight to his son. Terry looked so small laying the bed with all that stuff all around. He bent and kissed Terry's forehead, too. Standing, he directed the two Miller women out of the room.

Now that the parents were gone, the two little girls were really bored. At least they could watch the new girl's parents and sister. They hadn't talked to the sister yet, but that was on their to-do list. They staired at one another, then nodding, both got out of bed and walked towards Terry. They stopped a couple of feet from his bed and one of the girls said "Hi, I'm Molly and this is Clara. Does that hurt?" She pointed at the traction device.

Terry said "No, it just pulls things a little."

Clara jumped up and down looking at the traction device. She looked at Terry and blurted out "Did they put a tube in you to make you pee?" She pointed to the bag hanging on the side of thebed.

Terry turned red and looked away.

"Now ya done it, blabbermouth. You got her baresed." chided Molly.

Clara reached for Terry's hand and said "Sorry, I just want to be your friend." She gave out a little giggle.

Terry felt the hand on his and remained still. He knew girls touched more than boys. The guys were always making fun of him for holding Debbie's hand. But there was more to that than he wanted or could explain. Holding her hand and 'Talking' to her was like. Well he just couldn't explain it. Looking at the little girl, Terry felt a warmth flow over him. He said "Ok, we can be friends." Clara let out a whoop and danced around the bed. Terry saw Molly watching and said "We can be friends, too." She gleefully joined her roommate.

Terry watched as the girls pulled chairs closer to his bed. The three new friends were soon chatting about the hospital and bicycles and that dreaded of dreads...school. The little girls were in a whirl. A bigger girl was their friend. Wow. Life couldn't get any better than this.

Sometime after seven, Clara's mom came to visit. Clara was eager to introduce her new friend. She pulled on her mommy's hand practically dragging the woman to Terry's bedside. A big smile filled Clara's face as she said "Mommy, this is my new friend Terry. She's got a broke leg and arm. It hurts her to breathe. But she's ok." Clara's mom smiled down at the pretty girl. She said 'Hello' and exchanged pleasantries for a few minutes. Before returning to Clara's bedside, she noticed an enticing odor near this darling girl. Whatever it was, was quite refreshing. Clara and her mom visited for another thirty minutes and then she left, promising to return the next day. The room empty of visitors, the three occupants settled into their pillows for a night's sleep.

No one sleeps in a hospital. It's an unwritten rule. Noises are always louder in the night and if you are 12 years old, hurt and away from home, that makes it worse. Terry was no exception. Everytime the door opened and a staff member came in, Terry was awake. The two girls in the room were awake also and watched with big eyes as Terry was poked and prodded. One unfortunate episode of poking and prodding was cleaning his urinary meatus, where the catheter enters his penis on its trip to his bladder. It is this point that offers an entrance point to germs and to stem the flow of germs, a daily regime of catheter care is ordered. Usually the victim...ummmm...patient is screened both for privacy and privacy. At O dark O'Clock the staff member performing this task, failed to properly screen Terry, allowing his penis to be seen by one of the little girls in the room. The girl knew that she had seen something different on Terry and was eager to confront Terry with her knowledge. The staff member did not know about the unfortunate observation by the female patient and performed the task without any second thoughts. Just another night in paradise, right.

Terry's doctor was in early. He reassured the boy that things were going according to plan or whatever. He mentioned more x-rays and a few tests and that he would talk to Terry's parents later in the day. He said Terry was scheduled for a Portable and a few tests. Terry winced at this. After listening to his belly, the doctor left the room.

Molly was watching everything with a keen eye. She was curious about Terry and trying to come up with a plan. She sat and thought, but nothing came to mind. Finally she decided to take the direct approach and sliding off the bed and putting her slippers on, she walked over to Terry's bed. "Hi, Terry. Sleep good?"

"Naw, bothered most of the night." came the reply.

"Yea, gets loud here sometimes and noisy too."

"So, you still got that bag to pee in, huh?" she was working herself up to ask THE question.

"Yea, the doctor says maybe a few more days."

"Does it hurt your, you know?" she asked

Terry turned red at that question but answered "Just feels like someones pulling on me."

Molly was ready for the question, and now was the time. She looked at the Catheter bag and traced the tubing up towards Terry's side. "Ummm, I saw them work on you this morning and know what I saw?" She looked in his face as she said this.

Terry just asked "What did you see?" As far as he was concerned, he had nothing to hide.

Molly was perplexed now. She thought that Terry was hiding something and she was close to finding it. Drat, this was not working out like she planned.

"Oh, nothing." She pulled her hand to her side and went back to her bed.

The rest of the morning was filled with breakfast for the two girls and a new bottle of IV fluid for Terry. Also the Portable showed up and someone stuck a needle in his arm and took out a couple of gallons of blood. But other than that, it was a normal day in the hospital.

*****Interlude: New Kid in the Room*****

Molly had been in this hospital for a long time. She had a form of Leukemia and had contracted HIV after being transfused with tainted blood. At present her White Count was stable and her T cells were stable. Her last bout of Chemo had been debiltating and even though the 'Cocktail' had been tailored for her specific needs, she was on the path to an early grave. Her parents worked to pay the bills and only came to see her once every two weeks. She was starved for companionship and affection. When they put a big girl in her room, she was on cloud nine. She knew that she would not see the old age of 12. And the new girl had an older sister, almost 16 she said. Wow. She hoped she could talk to both of them. But what she saw last night scared her. She was sure she had seen that the new girl was not a girl, but a boy, and this morning when she tried to get him/her? to tell it's secret, it had not happened. She was hoping that the new girl was actually a boy. That would be neat. Maybe they could be girlfriend (Molly) and boyfriend (Terry). That would make her life complete.

*****Present: End Interlude*****

Bored, bored, bored, bored, should I go on? Terry was just bored. He was an active boy and being in traction was the pits. His right arm itched and he couldn't scratch it. His ribs hurt and his leg, well his leg. It hung at an odd angle and he felt like everyone could see up under his sheet. And to top if off, there was a tube in his boy thing, penis, and it felt like someone was pulling on him, forcing him down in the bed. UUUGHGHGHGH! He squirmed in the bed and let out a small plaintive cry.

Molly heard something and looked up. Clara was watching a video and her face was following the antics of her favorite cartoon character. 'Not her' Molly decided. She turned her gaze to Terry and saw a look of displeasure on his face. She got up and went to his/her bedside and looked on. "How ya doin? Bet that weight thingy is heavy." She pointed at the traction device. She wanted to touch it, but it wasn't hers.

Terry said flatly "Yea, it's the pits. Can't get comfortable. Feels like someone pulling on me." Then looking around the room, he asked the girl "Uh, like, how long you been here?"

Molly said "Few months. But now you two err here, it'll be funner." She was looking at his face. Something just wasn't right. He/She kinda looked like a girl and a boy. Cu-Razy! There was something else too. He had a tube thing for pee, but it didn't smell. Fact was there was a nice smell from over here. She hadn't had a nice smell when she was on that side of the room. "We could color." As soon as she said that she cringed. Terry only had one good hand and arm to use and it was no fair. She just started to cry.

Terry watching her was startled when she started to cry. Had he done something wrong. Geesh! Girls. Unsure what to do, Terry said "Hey, nothng to cry about. I'm sorry." Terry tried to apologize for making her cry, but she just cried more and now, the other girl, Clara, was on her way across the room. Sheesh.

Clara swung her head back and forth between Terry and Molly. A spectator at Wimbledon couldn't have kept track of the particulars better. Her gaze tracked her room mates with pin-point percision. Seeing Molly start to cry, Clara glared at Terry and stuck out her tongue. That this was bad, she knew. But Molly was crying and something Terry did caused her bestest friend to cry. Who cared if she was 12, Molly was her friend first. Sides, Molly was special.

"Molly, it's ok. Terry is just mean. Big kids are always mean." Reaching for Molly's arm, she applied a slight pressure and continued "It's ok, we don't need her anyway." Hearing this, Molly cried harder. She wanted to tell Terry and Clara why she was crying, but the tears just flowed. Clara had jumped to the wrong conclusion about Terry, but only time would bear that truth.

Clara pulled her bestest friend to their side of the room and gave her a hug. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"Nuffin."

"Is so, else ya woudn't be cryin." she replied

It's just that..." Molly's voice trailed off.

"Come on, what IS it?"

"Um, I aked Terry if she wanted to color, but then I membered her cast and she has a hard time usin her arm and I got sad."

"Come on, Silly, we'll all color." She grabbed Molly's hand and took her to gather the coloring books and crayons. Loaded down, the two girls went back to Terry's bedside.

Terry looked at the girls. "Umm, whatcha doin, now?" he asked tentatively. Even he knew girls were STRANGE.

Clara beamed and said "We came to color. Molly is gonna set there." Clara pointed at the chair "And I'm gonna sit here." She climbed in the bed beside Terry. Then looking at him asked "This ok?" Clara hoped it was ok. She wanted an older girl to be her friend and this was her big chance. Molly put her stuff on the otherside of Terry and she climbed into the chair. Taking a book, she opened it to a new picture and offered it to Terry. Even with the cast on his arm, Terry had a good time coloring and laughing with his new friends.

*****Interlude: First Time with Girls*****

Terry was going to Nursery School, well actually Pre-school. He complained that he wasn't a baby and that he didn't need to go to school with babies, but his complaints didn't do any good. He was enrolled and he went. He pouted, like all kids, when his parents left him there. The teachers tried to get him involved in the groups, but knew that curosity would bring him in, in time. Terry sat by himself and watched. One lttle girl, seeing Terry sit alone, went to his side of the room and sat next to him. She looked at him and smiled. Terry smiled back. She said, matter of factly "You're pretty." Terry blushed at this. She leaned towards him causing young Terry to lean away, her nose wrinkled as she said "You smell nice."

*****Present*****

The day nurse was making her rounds. She was an old hand at Pediatrics and handling young girls, especially. She heard voices in the room and peeked in as she was passing. Clara could be seen sitting next to the new girl and Molly was leaning on the otherside of the bed. There were smiles all around and she could see that they were coloring and chatting like long lost friends. It was good to see the three girl playing. The nurse also noticed that Clara seemed especially careful about the traction on Terry's leg. She wondered how long they had been like that, but decided that it probably hadn't been too long. Little Clara wasn't known for keeping still. Well, Terry would call out if she became uncomfortable. Still, the nurse thought, she would look in on them later.

Clara sat upright an looked at Terry. "I gotta pee." She moved to the edge of the bed and slid off. "Back in a minute." was heard as the bathroom door closed.

Terry finished coloring and smiled. He hadn't colored for some time and for some reason this was fun again. Sure the pictures were kinda corny for an 12 year old boy. My Little Pony, Power Puff Girls and Hannah Montana, but it was fun with Clara and Molly. A big smile filled his face.

"Whatcha smilin bout?" asked Molly. She wanted to tell Terry what she thought she saw, but was afraid now. When she tried to tell earlier, nothing happened. She'd have to think bout it for a while.

Terry heard the question and replied "Jus stuff. You know." and nothing more. He actually was quite happy and it suprised him. He didn't have to show off or anything. These girls liked him, just because.

Molly studied the look on Terry's face then asked "Terry, you got a boyfriend?" Terry turned his heat towards the girl.

"Huh, what, boyfriend, ummm" He reddened.

Molly continued, her curiosity getting the better of her "Yea, girl like you gotta hab lots ob boyfriends."

Terry turned red at this comment. "Umm, what do ya mean, 'Girl like me'"? he asked.

Molly smiled "You know, pretty and stuff."

Terry looked at Molly and then at the bathroom door. He looked frightened and said "Umm, Molly, I ain't no girl."

Molly had won. It was her dream come true. Well for the moment. She said "Whyaincha in a boys room then?"

Terry looked mystified and shrugged his shoulders saying "I don't know."

Molly pressed on "Well, yer mommy said you was a girl when you got here." Terry looked for the lie in her face, but did not see one. Then Molly added 'You smell like a girl."

Terry blushed, he had been hearing about how good it smelled around him for a long time. He tried to get dirty and smelly, but it didn't work. Why did he smell like that?

Clara pushed open the bathroom door and walked back into the room. Seeing Molly and Terry look at her, she smiled. "We goin color agin?'

Yes was the answer from both the room mates and a happy girl soon climbed back up in bed with Terry and the three continued to color.

With lunch came the changing of IV bottles and other things. The Urine collection bag was drained and again the insertion point for the catheter was cleaned. A new collection of vital signs to add to the ever growing collection of vital signs and let's not forget the always fun Neuro exams, complete with edema checks and palpation of proximal and distal pulses, bilaterally of course. Needed for comparison as are the leg measurements. The fun just continues. To say that it is amazing the amount of information a doctor wants is incredilbe is a mouth full. But un-beknownst to mankind, most of the information collected is requested by nurses. The information is needed to clarify and amplify the information given to the doctors. Special data collection sheets are included in all admission packets as are special information sheets part of discharge instructions. Nurses are nothing if not thorough.

After lunch, visiting hours started. Janet and Debbie came rushing into Terry's room. They were treated to the sight of Terry being surrounded by two 'real' girls. Althought Terry knew that girl's did NOT have cooties. There was only so much girl an 12 year old could take, especially if the girls were unknowns. Showing off for classmates was different. But Terry was on a new learning curve and his realities were ever changing.

"Hi, Terry. Feelin' ok? asked Janet.

Terry smiled up at her and grinned like a kid caught in the cookie jar and said "Hi, Mom, I'm ok." Janet leaned across him and kissed his cheek. The two room mates just smiled. Molly being the wiser said "Come on Clara. Terry gots fambly visits now. We can play later." She was rapidly pulling crayons and papers from across terry. Clara was helping too.

Clara sitting next to Terry, turned and said "We'll be back later. Have fun!" she scooted to the side of the bed and slid down to the floor causing her gown to ride up exposing her bare bottom. Books and crayons in hand, both girls made their way across the floor.

Debbie watched them go and noticed the body language of the three. Terry wouldn't admit it but he was sad to see them leave. The girls went willingly, but would eagerly return. Terry was forming a lot of affection for these girls. Debbie just smiled then she went to Terry's side and took his hand. She conveyed her inpressions of what she had seen and felt his response. He tried to deny it, but couldn't. Janet was imune to this communication and just thought herself lucky that her children still held hands.

Janet mothered her son as much as possible. The little girls were a delight to her and seemed to bounce around the room. Janet felt like the little one should have been called 'Tigger' she was so bouncy. She read stories from a book and played silly games. Even Debbie had a good time and the little girls loved with a capitol L Debbie.

The doctor came in at 1:30PM and asked when Mr. Miller would be joining them. Janet said that he was working and would be in about 5:15 PM. The doctor asked if he could be paged, provided his number and left. Janet was now concerned and tried not to let it show. She anxiously waited for Ted to arive. The suspense was killing her and time seemed to slow down. Ain't that the way it is?

Debbie saw the Mom was distracted and upset. About what she didn't know. Debbie sat at Terry's bedside and reached for his hand. Terry felt the touch and 'tuned in'. Debbie began 'What happened?'

Terry signaled 'I don't know.'

Debbie looked at him and her hand moved in his 'Something's been bothering you.'

Terry sighed and gripper her hand tightly. Debbie paled at the intensity of this. Terry was having another episode and she could only sit and lend moral support. Maybe she should tell Mom, but how was the question.

Terry relaxed his grip and moved his fingers 'What's wrong with me. Boys think I girl, girls think 2, am I gay, freak?' His eyes were misted over.

Debbie smiled at her brother and squeezed back 'Not freak, never use word, SPECIAL!, sides I m girl, nice 1 2, you nice 2.'

During their 'talk' Janet kept herself busy. She did not want to think about what could be wrong. She was scared, especially for Terry and Debbie. The afternoon passed and time moved on. At 5:20 Ted arrived in Kid Central. He saw four cute kids playing a board game. That it was three girls and one boy would be hard to prove to the casual observer. He looked for Janet and saw her refereeing the event. He crossed to her side and they exchanged hugs and kisses. He lightly kissed terry on the forehead and he to watched the game play. He was amazed at how well Terry was getting along with his room mates. Like old friends and the little one was sitting in bed at Terry's side.

"Ted, the doctor want us to page him."

"Did he say what's it about?"

"No, he just asked that we page him and he'd tell us whatever it is. I'll ask the nurse to get him. You sit with Terry."

Twenty-five minutes later a worried doctor arrived at Terry's bedside. "Hi, Terry. You're looking fine. I just need to talk to to your parents for a bit. Just go over your treatment plan and stuff. They'll be right back."

Ted and Janet stood and were escorted to a small conference room off the nurse's station. The room was furnished with a small round table, four cahirs around the table and two more next to the wall. A small sink was on one wall and a white box protruded from the wall with an electrical cord leading to a wall outlet. The doctor asked the Millers to sit and put down the folder he was carrying. He took out some 'negatives' and placed on over the white box. Flipping a switch, the box lit up to reveal an x-ray of an arm. The doctor said "This is Terry's right arm, everything looks ok. The cast is placed correctly and the Neuro checks have been satisfactory. Cast should be changed in 4 weeks and new flics done at that time." He changed x-rays and continued "This is the right leg, that too is ok. We'll continue traction for 4 weeks, then more pics and then, we hope, a walking cast. Now in the next picture" he said as he put up a new x-ray "see this area right here." He was pointing to the top of the picture. "Anyway it seems the Terry has an enlarged pelvic girdle. Normal for a girl, but unusual for a boy ." He went on "We ordered labs in the ED and most were ok, with one exception. His Urine. It seems that it got mixed up with another patient. A Urine was collected from a Terry Ellen Miller and was to be tested for Pregnancy and instead your son's urine was tested. Uh, Terry Allen Miller. The tech didn't catch the name and the Lab Supervisor did, luckily. The urine was retested and it's clean, but a second pregnancy test was performed, just to make sure the first was a fluke and it came out positive for er, uh, Pregnancy. I reordered the test today and it as positive too. Now I have to ask are you giving your son any female hormones, like birth control pills or maybe he's getting them from his sister, from someone."

Janet and Ted blanched at the question. This reaction was all the answer the doctor needed. These were not abusive parents. He continued. "I'd like your permission to talk to your daughter and I'd like to do a few tests on her. I'll also order some from each of you, but, Debbie's closer to him, genetically speaking. Oh, and I am ordering a DNA test on him and a Hormone panel. This is due to the analysis of the urine previously submitted. It was found to have a high concentrtion of Estradiol. A hormone that is increased in pregnancy. I am ordering an UltraSound of the Abdomen and the Testes. I know this is a lot to take, but I assure you, we'll get to the bottom of this. Now I have some papers for you to keep about what I said and I need a couple of signatures for the tests. Then you can go back to visit Terry."

Ted and Janet took the proffered pages and signed for the ordered tests. The doctor watched, but could find no hidden glances of emotion in their faces. "Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Miller, we'll get the tests ordered and I'll contact you with the results as soon as I get them." He gathered his paperwork and departed the room. Ted and Janet held hands as they walked back to Terry's room.

Terry smiled at his parents and signaled Debbie 'Look, Mom, Dad. Up?'

Debbie followed his instructions and watched her parents. Outwardly there was no change in them, but still. She signaled 'Not sure, find out 2nite' Terry nodded.

The rest of the visit became flat as Janet and Ted thought about what the doctor had said.

When it was time to go, Terry started to cry. Seeing him cry, both room mates came to comfort him. Janet was also starting to cry. It was decided that she would go home, shower and change, then return for the night. Till then, Debbie would stay and keep Terry company. Eyes were wiped dry and with smiling faces, Janet and Ted left for home. Molly and Clara wasted no time, climbing back on Terry's bed. Debbie smiled at their antics and signaled her brother 'nu friends, cute'. Terry smiled back, signaling 'eager, lonely, still y girls rm?'. He shrugged. Debbie told all that she knew about the 'y girl's rm' and Terry agreed it was ok. The two girls giggled as they asked Debbie questions about boys and stuff. Like kissing and holding hands and the holiest of holies, Fashion! It was a dream come true for them, they were getting advice from a BIG girl.

Terry was having fun too. Too often he was mistaken for a girl and it embarassed him. But just listening to his sister talk to the two girls, he was not embarassed. He was learning things that might be come useful when he got a girlfriend. And then there was always Debbie to ask for more information. The four spent the time just gabbing and getting better acquainted. Too soon, it seemed, this came to an end. Janet and Ted returned and after getting organized, Ted took his daughter home.

In the morning, Urine was taken from the collection bag and another round of blood was collected. Terry's catheter was cleaned and Janet helped give him a bed bath. She hadn't bathed Terry in years and was amazed at how he actually looked. So small and petite, almost like a Pixie. After the bath, clean clothes were put on and he was ready for another day. Ted brought Debbie in on his way to work and Janet drive him to give her access to a car. They spent the day playing silly games and being bored. Well all but Molly and Clara. They were excited.

The doctor came by and talked to Janet for a few minutes and nothing was said about his scheduled tests. Time seemed to stand still for Janet and the day passed. That night, Debbie got to stay with her brother and Janet and Ted went home alone.

Ted looked at his wife and asked "Janet, dear, Maybe we need to talk about your cousin."

She looked at Ted and nodded her head. "I know, but, I'm afraid."

He pulled her close and said "Just what did happen? You never did really say, just something about him dying."

Janet sighed, then started "I was visiting and we were playing hide and seek. There were maybe 9 of us. Anyway, later, some other boys came by and asked if we wanted to go for a walk to the park. They had a carousel there, I remember. Well we did, but Tony said no thanks. One of the boys called him stuck-up and laughed. We decided not to go with them. Oh, we knew them, but not the one that spoke out. So we went inside. Later we were sitting on the porch and the boys came back by the house. The one that called Tony stuck-up asked to talk to Tony and they walked down the sidewalk. We couldn't hear what was said, but Tony came back smiling. The next day, the boys came by again and this time we went to the park. We were not watching too closely and it got dark. Then we couldn't see Tony and spread out to look for him. I saw the boy that had talked to Tony come from around a building and I asked if he saw Tony. He said no and just ran off. He had walked to the park with us, but ran off when I asked about Tony. I didn't think he was very nice. Anyway, I walked around the building he came from and I saw two boys pulling up their pants. They saw me and ran off. Then I heard a noise and when I looked, it was Tony. I screamed. Everybody came over and I just pointed. Some boys pulled him up and hit him in the stomach and face. They called him a pervert and a rapist and said that he should be ashamed of himself for trying to rape me. I tried to tell them that he didn't, but they wouldn't listen. The police came and took him away. That was the last I ever saw of him. The next day, we were told that he killed hisself in jail. When his body was examined, it was learned that he had been sodomized several times and he had a chest like a girls. They did blood analysis and he had increased levels of female hormones. It turned out that he was born a Hermaphrodite and puberty caused his body to start changing. I tried to tell the police about the boys, but they wouldn't listen. Some of the other family members told stories about babies being born different and so baby boys are watched carefully for any thing different. Oh, Ted, I am so ashamed. I couldn't help my cousin and poor Terry's in the hospital and the doctor says..." She cried as Ted held he closely. Tears filled his eyes also.

Ted helped a sobbing Janet to their bedroom. Shesettled in a ball on their bed and shook as her body was wracked by bouts of tears. Ted sat at the side and watched. He so desperately anted to hold her and comfort her, but he felt sure that she needed to just cry out her demons. He would wait and plan. terry's was at stake here and he would protect his son at all costs. he fell asleep long after Janet cried herself out.

Another busy night in the hospital and Terry was joined by his sister. She watched over him with hawk like eyes and studied everything. Her posessiveness was such that the staff were unwilling to go into the room. Pediatrics is a scary field, but never had the staff seen a sibling like Debbie. She had pulled the sleep chair next to Terry's bed and they slept with hands interlocked. Unheard of. Yet the night progressed and morning showed promise on the way. A tech in a multi-colored outfit came into the room and inquired as to the identity of Terry Miller. That done, the tech brought in a strange looking machine and after plugging it into an electrical outlet, the tech exposed Terry's belly and pubic area, then applying a cool gel, began to move a 'probe' over his abdomen. Making several horizontal and vertical passes, then moving to his pubic area and repeating the procedure. Finished, the tech replaced the 'probe' after cleaning it of excess gel and then cleaned the excess gel from Terry. Bidding all of the occupants of the room a "Good Day" the tech left.

In the Ultrasound Laboratory the 'scan' of Terry Miller's abdomen and pubic areas was downloaded into a computer server awaiting 'upload' into the diagnostic computer that processed the raw data and interpreted the findings. This would be done over the next few days as well as the additional laboratory test that had been ordered. Sometime during the day, Debbie would be asked to go to the Lab and provide specimens to be used to complete the diagnostic work-up of her brother. The results of these tests would more than make up for any inconvenience that the girl felt at being poked with sharp needles and told to pee in a cup.

In the meantime, life for Terry settled into a daily hospital routine. In other words, BORING. Talk to his new friends, color, or games or reading, naps, often with Clara next to him and the indignanty of having to wear diapers at night, to keep him from soiling his bed. During the day, he used a urinal for pee and a Nurse or Aide helped him with a bedpan for other elimination. And Yes, the girls knew that he was a boy. They didn't seem to mind. He was just waiting to go home.

His best friend Paul had visited and that was good. Well, not really, Paul blamed himself for the accident. He actually started to cry. Paul said he was sorry for making fun of Terry at the Diner and for calling him a girl. He felt so bad. He did give Terry a get-well card and a gift. But seeing his best bud in a bed with his leg in some kind of contraption was too much for even Paul. He was scared too cause Terry was in a room with girls and even Paul knew that was odd.

Two weeks after his admission, Terry was again x-rayed and his arm showd a great deal of improvement. The old cast was removed and a new cast covered his arm. The new cast was of a lighter composite material and provided the child with greater freedom of movement. His leg was also x-rayed and was coming along fine. The interpretation of thescans was complete allong with the completion of the additional specimens from his family. The doctor scheduled a mini-conference with the family and that day slowly approached.

On the day of the conference, the parents drove to the hospital with their thoughts filled with unknowns. They were shown to a different conference room and after introductions were made, Terry's primary doctor began. "We all know why we're here. Janet, Ted and you too Debbie. I'v taken the liberty to invite some of my colleages as this pertains to their chosen fields. First I want to adress some underlying issues. Janet, Ted, in our investigations, we have found some remarkable things. I want to continue by asking if you want Debbie in the room. The next part can be rather graphic and she is a minor."

Janet and Ted looked at Debbie. Debbie returned their look and nodded her head, saying "Mom, Dad, Doctor, you're not going to tell me anything I don't know. As a matter of fact, you need me here." She smiled. Janet and Ted looked at her with skepticism written all over their faces. The doctor had heard her statement and didn't know what to make of it. Instead of asking her questions, he continued. "It would appear from DNA Mapping that Terry is a twin. Janet and Ted, I ask that you hold your comments for a while and I assure you that it will all be explained. As I said, Terry is a twin, but the most amazing part of that is that Terry is a twin of Debbie." The doctor smiled at Janet and swept his gaze across the assembled family. Debbie was beaming. Seeing some shock register on the faces of Janet and Ted, he continued. "Our Testing showed that Terry's DNA and Debbie's DNA were an exact match, except for the 23rd Chromosonal set. The Sex chromosone. Terry appears to have an extra one attached. It's rare, but it does happen. As shown by this summary from Vanderhouse, DNA Mapping is discussed." The doctor handed Janet and Ted a printed page as he spoke.

Department of Pediatrics, Vanderhouse University School of Medicine
DNA mapping techniques are being increasingly applied to familial and acquired disorders affecting growth and development. To understand the potential applications of these techniques, one must first have a good understanding of the components and basic structure of DNA, the genetic code, the basic structure of genes and the roles that various components of gene structure play in regulating gene expression. Following review of this basic information, a variety of DNA mapping techniques including in situ hybridization, Southern blotting, polymerase chain reaction amplification, DNA sequencing and linkage analysis will be covered. Applications of these techniques can enable mapping of unknown genes by detection of loss of allelic heterozygosity or use of linkage analysis and genetic maps. With increasing ease, mutations such as deletions, expansions, rearrangements and point mutations can be detected in diseases such as congenital adrenal hyperplasia, cystic fibrosis, diabetes insipidus, growth hormone deficiency, fragile X syndrome, Laron dwarfism and Turner syndrome. From this discussion, a better understanding of methods of gene localization, uses of genetic maps and rapid, convenient methods to detect a variety of molecular derangements causing familial disorders affecting growth and development will be gained.

Karyotypes
The complete set of chromosomes in the cells of an organism is its karyotype. It is most often studied when the cell is at metaphase of mitosis and all the chromosomes are present as dyads.
The karyotype of the human female contains 23 pairs of homologous chromosomes:
22 pairs of autosomes
1 pair of X chromosomes
The karyotype of the human male contains:
the same 22 pairs of autosomes
one X chromosome
one Y chromosome
(A gene on the Y chromosome designated SRY is the master switch for making a male.)

The doctor took his time allowing Janet and Ted to look at the paper in front of them. Sensing their frustrations, he asked "Ted, Janet, I assure you that all will be made clear. It's a startling medical discovery and I can assure you that Terry is fine. He is healing well and all of this..." the doctor spread out his hands over the assembled material on the conference table "won't make a bit of difference. We just thought that you should know what we found."
Debbie was on the edge of her seat. Finally she was getting her fondest wish. Well, in a way she was. She always wanted a sister and that's why she helped select the name Terry. She had been keeping silent for a long time and now someone important was telling her Mom and Dad what she knew. She was eager to tell Terry about this conference. Janet and Ted turned to look at each other. That there were tears in Janet's eyes was a certainty. The doctor took a moment to pause and let the Miller's get acclimated to the news. Debbie's reaction was unexpected. She just nodded her head as if she knew this all along. The doctor watched the trio and after a few minutes break, began again. "As to the fact that Debbie and Terry are twins, I know that there is the length of time between births. We have an asnswer for you and it's complicated. We believe that some time during fetal development, Terry became implanted in the uterine wall behind a cotyledon. The first Ultrasound showed a penis and we think it was inaccurate. It was before that Ultrasound that the developing fetus became burried under the cotyledon. We have theorized that what the technician thought was a penis was a part of the umbilical cord, possibly somehow wrapped around the embryo to make it appear as if a penis existed. Again, it's rare, but appears to be the case. We pulled some case files and some interesting things about twins, not the least of which were reporst of long birth intervals bewteen each twin. As this shows there have been reported birth intervals between twins in the past and we think this applies here. Especially with the DNA evidence.
Longest Interval Between Twins
Mrs. Peggy Lynn gave birth to Hanna on November 11 1995 and twin Eric on Feb 2 1996, 84 days later, the longest interval between twins. The previous record was held by Mrs. Danny Berg of Italy, who had Diana on December 23 1987 and her twin Monica on Jnuary 30 1988, 38 days later. The Keys family of Louisiana had their twins 95 days apart, in 1994 and 1995.

The longest known intertwin delivery interval with cerclage (suturing the cervical opening) is 153 days.

A case report of delayed delivery of 99 days in a triplet pregnancy was also presented. A triplet pregnancy in a single uterus resulted from Pergonal stimulation of ovulation. At 23.5 weeks' gestation, the first triplet delivered after spontaneous rupture of membranes. Ninety-nine days later, the remaining two fetuses were delivered, the second one stillborn after intrauterine death at 37 weeks of gestation, and the third fetus a normal viable female consistent with 37.5 weeks' gestation. This is the longest interval of delayed delivery discovered from a literature review, and the only such instance of triplet pregnancy in a single uterus.

CASE REPORT
Interval of 9 h between birth of twins at term: case report and review of the literature
M. W. Sრ¼tterlin1, S. Bussen1, T. Steck1 and B. Seelbach-Gრ¶bel1

(1) Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, University of Wრ¼rzburg, Josef-Schneider-StraáƒÅ¸e 4, D-97080 Wრ¼rzburg, Germany, DE
Abstract We report the case of a primipara who delivered healthy twins vaginally at term with a time interval between twins of 9 h and 19 min. Neonatal outcome and further development were normal in both twins.

The doctor passes copies of these pages to Ted and Janet and gave them a moment to scan the pages. Janet and Ted had no idea what they were looking at and said so. The doctor smiled weakly and said "I'll just cut to the chase, these are just article summaries that help prove our theories. There is a more important matter we need to discuss and that is that apart from being Debbie's twin, Terry seems to have a rare medical condition. The Ultrasound of his abdomen shows an immature set of Ovaries, along with a small canal that we have not seen an opening for. It's something to watch. His Testes are immature and his hormone levels for Testosterone are quite low. Now don't be too alarmed by that. What I mean is that for a normal 12 year old boy, his Testosterone level should be higher. His is about the normal for a 5 year old boy, his Estradiol is on par with a pubescent girl at present, we have done serial labs for this and we think that the accident caused the initial spike, remember the pregnancy test I told you about. Regardless, there have been no changes in his physiology and he remains a boy for all outward appearance. Here I want to tell you that his conition is somewhat documented. There are incomplete files about infants born with two sets of sex organs. This condition as had several names Hermaprodite and Intersexed being the two best known. Usualy these infants are sugically altered at birth, again this is due the appearance of the extenal genialia. In Terry's case he was effectivey male and was not altered. He does seem to have some female qualities and of course all of the staff has noticed the pleasant odor coming from him. We think this is due to the Estradiol, too. Now before I answer your questions let me just say that Terry's fine. He's healing well and if all goes as predicted, he'll go home next week." The parents asked qustions and they were answered by those present. An Orthopod and an Internist gave advice and suggestions for home care and follow-ups as did a Pediatrician. It was also suggested the Terry see the same Pediatric Gnyecologist that oversaw Debbie's care. A consult would be written giving relevant particulars about Terry's laboratory findings. It will be suggested that he receive a complete physical and get semi-annual lab test to include Ultrasounds." Ted and Janet digested the information and agreed to what the doctor said. All parties left the conference room with smiles on their faces.

The two weeks passed and Terry was again x-rayed. Another round of Blood work was obtained as well as a Urine specimen. Follow-ups were scheduled and he was scheduled for Physical Therapy, to learn to walk with crutches prior to being released. His Physical Therapy appointment went as expected. He was measured for crutches and shown a small movie about walking with assistive devices and scheduled for daily sessions. A 'Gait' belt was placed around his waist and he was raised to a standing position as the crutches were placed. He was shown how to step and he repeated the lesson. Soon he was using a three point gait and able to go up a small flight of stairs. The big day had arrived. He could go home, tomorrow. But what to wear. The cast on his right thigh was a unilateral hip spica and had added extra material at the waist line. Regular pants would not go over it too well and even shorts would be difficult. The only option seemed to be an open bottomed garmet, like a skirt. Debbie was asked about this idea and 'talked' to her brother. It took some persuading, but he was eager to go home and if this was the only way, well. He didn't have to like it, just be able to walk in the cast with crutches.

Unfortunately he required different underwear and that too was discussed with him. His option of using the disposable diapers was still an option, but he had his pride. Again with much trepidation, he relented. He wanted to go home. His boy briefs had to be replaced with something smaller and more comfortable and Janet took Debbie shopping for his clothes. That the required clothing resembled girl's panties made Debbie laugh and Terry frown. Debbie was quick to embarrass him by saying 'well people think u girl, now u wear girl clothes'. Of course this was strictly between sister and brother. The other thing Debbie did was tell Terry about the 'conference' and the possible changes in his body. He was shocked by this and cried. Debbie comforted him and 'talked' him through it. Now he was looking forward to going home, even if he had to wear girl's clothes. So with a tearful goodbye to the staff and his room mates, Terry was discharged from the hospital.

The ride home was the most excitement he had had for a while. Mom said that Dad's study had been converted to a bedroom for his use. That was fine with Terry. He didn't like the stairs anyway. It was bad enough that he had to wear this skirt. He couldn't wait to get into a pair of real pants and maybe some regular underwear. Debbie had seen him in the new undies and told him that he made a nice looking sister. They both laughed at that. When Debbie had talked about the conference he was amazed at first, but the more they talked and remembered things from their past, the more sense it seemed to make. One thing was certain....'Life' is strange.

But Terry was home from the hospital. Even if he was unsteady on crutches, he was improving daily. It was easier to walk in a skirt and he was enjoying the freedom of movement. Whether or not skirts would be a part of his future was yet to be seen. He looked at his Mom and smiled "Mom, am I gonna be ok?" he queried.

Janet smiled and nodded her head 'YES', saying out loud "Yes, Honey. You are gonna be perfect. We're just gonna take it one day at a time and you're gonna be perfect."

Terry smiled at the answer and said "One day at a time. Yah!" He hesitated and added "Umm, Mom, can I have a snack?"

With thanks to T.D. Aldoennetti for your assistance with editing.

A tale of lost love and new hope? Let's see.

I was watching the tube when the phone rang. I answered and heard someone call me a name I hadn't heard for years. It took a moment, then I laughed. "Roger, you old dog, how you been. It's been a long time." Roger agreed and we talked for a while longer. He said he was setting up a reunion and asked if I wanted to come. At first I said no, but he talked me into it. He gave me the place, date and time and we finished talking and hung up. As I put the phone down, my mind drifted back to the first time I met Roger.

My dad got a promotion and a transfer. We were going to California. He had finally been promoted to Sergeant First Class and now was in line as a Platoon sergeant in a light Infantry company. He had spent time in Fort Benning and Fort Bragg. He was Ranger qualified and Airborne, too. An automatic weapons specialist and armorer, he could make a SAW sing. And the new M60, the one with the reworked barrels, he was a master with it. Now, he was gonna get the chance to put that mastery to work. And in California.

We found a house off post and had our household goods delivered and the process of setting up the house fell to mom and me. The usual, but we were used to it by now. This was our fourth move. We hoped to be here for three or four years. We got settled in and then it was time for me to enroll in school. Mom and I set off to the local chapter of higher education and went to the admissions office.

When the admissions coordinator entered her office she greeted mom and me cordially. Mom handed her my records and as she looked thru them, she flinched. Looking up, she asked mom to introduce me. Mom told her my name was Raymond. The lady smiled weakly and asked if Raymond was a family name. Mom assured her that her father was named Raymond and that she had agreed to name her first child after him. Then the coordinator looked at me and said, "I can't call a pretty thing like you Raymond, I'll just put Mandy on the form, Ok?" She didn't even wait for an answer, but handed me my new admission slip. Mom tried to explain that I was a boy, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears.

I was guided down the hallway to a room and urged inside. I stood there as the door closed behing me. The teacher turned at the sound and asked, "What can I do for you?" I handed him my admission sheet and he scrawled something on it, then handing it back, he told me to take a seat. "Class, this is Mandy, she's a new transfer. Tell us a little about yourself Mandy." I gulped. Looking around the room I felt like I had no clothes on. I opened my mouth and said, "Uh, ummm, I'm Raymond Ferrel, my dad just got posted here and I'm 14 years old." I sat down quickly, my face red.

The noise level seemed to get louder and louder in the room when the teacher told everyome to settle down. The noise level did drop somewhat. I got thru the rest of the class ok. During the break I walked down the hall looking for my next class, when I ran into Roger. Actually, he knocked me down, accidentally. I was looking for the Boy's Room and he was too. As I pulled open the door, he stumbled into me causing me to fall. In he went and I just got up, dusted myself off and followed him in. He was the only one in there at the time and seeing me, he said, "Sorry bout the hall thing. Had to go real bad. You didn't have to follow me in though. I would have appologized in the hall." I ignored him and moved to a urinal and did my business. His eyes got real big when he heard the noise from my piss hitting the tile and his face turned red. Looking at him, I smiled and said, "Ahh, relief. Had to piss all mornng." I finished, washed my hands and went to my next class.

Thing were ok till sixth period. I was scheduled for PE and went into the Boy's locker room. I heard the usual boyish noises and continued farther into the room. Turning by a set of lockers, I heard, "Hey, you're in the wrong place.'' and "Couldn't wait for me to ask you for a date, huh?" I ignored them. The coach came running up to me and holding my arm, pulled me into the gym. "What the heck you doing in my locker room?" I showed him my admission slip and when he saw the name Mandy, he freaked. I tried to tell him that my name was Raymond, but that fell on deaf ears. He guided me back to admissions and left me in the hall. Inside he had a heated conversation with the admissions coordinator and was soon back. He handed back my admission slip and wished me a good time. I looked at the changes made and just shook my head. Instead of PE, I was changed to Home Ec. They said that I needed the Home Ec credit more than PE. There was nothing I could say. I just followed the floor tiles to the Home Ec Room. I gave my admission sheet to the teacher and was introduced to the class. As I looked at the faces in the class I thought I recognized a few of them. Then I saw Roger. He smiled at me and I smiled back. The teacher took this as a good sign and made him my class partner. Turns out that the teacher liked to put boys and girls together and till I got to the class, Roger was the odd man out.

I began a freindship with Roger that lasted thru high school. He was gay and I told him that I was not. But that didn't seem to help. I guess, I realized after the fact, that I was considered Gay or something because of our freindship. Cause of that I had not dated during high school. Course I was not the only one. After high school, I enrolled at the local community college and studied Business.

It was while at college, that I was approached by a coalition of Gay, Lesbian and Transgendered students. I didn't know it at first. I thought I was just invited to a regular party. Not! They wanted me to 'Come out' and were suprised when I told them that I didn't need to come anywhere. They explained about being transgendered. I was suprised and laughed at them. There was nothing wrong with my body. Thank you very much. Regardless of my opinions, they were very understanding and left an open invitation to join when the time came. I thanked them and went home.

I enrolled in Senior College and completed my BA in Business and went on for my Masters. I was hired by a nice firm in San Francisco and settled into my new life. I asked one of the girls in the office out and she said no thanks. This didn't bother me. I had joined a Book club and went to readings and events. I even started to go to the theater and took my mom to the Ballet. She loved it.

Tragedy struck, hard. My dad was killed in a training accident while preparing for deployment to Saudi Arabia. I helped mom clean up his estate and invested some of her savings and insurance money. When she started to get her dividend checks, she bragged about me to her friends and soon I was working off the clock, freelancing. I interviewed her friends and helped them understand how money worked, then when they were ready I invested. They were pleased with the results and soon I had enough clients to open my own investment firm. I hired my mom as secretary/receptionist and we did an ok business.

I gave up wool gathering and headed for bed, tomorrow was a special day, Mom's birthday, and I wanted to do something nice for her. I gave her, actually made her take, the day off and set her up with a full service spa treatment. Whatever that was. Then there was a gown fitting and the Ballet and dinner reservations. I wanted to spoil her . She was my mom and the love of my life.

The new day dawned and I presented her with the first part of her birthday present. Off she went in a hired car complete with driver and off I went to work. Soon, work ended and I made my way home. I showered and changed, getting ready for the evening with my special girl. We left the house and proceeded to the Theater then after to the restaurant. I checked with the Maitre'D and we were soon escorted to our table. Mom looked radiant. I ordered a nice wine and we began dinner. Part way thru the meal, mom excused herself to the Ladies room. I didn't give it much thought. Too soon, mom was back at the table, glaring at two ladies across the room. When she was seated, I asked, "What's wrong Mom?" She just glared across the room causing me to look in the same direction. I saw two ladies giggling and waving to us. My hand came up and I automatically waved back. That caused then to have a laughing fit. I was puzzled. What had they done to my Mom?

I stood and crossed the room. Standing by their table, I introduced myself. Their reply was to laugh in my face and say, "So, you're her Lesbian lover. Nice suit!" The broke up over that and laughed loudly. I just stood there with a dumb look on my face. Finally, I returned to my table.

Mom said she didn't know them, but had heard them talking in the Ladies Room. As she was finishing up, they made a comment about her going out with a bull dyke, asking if she liked a strap-on. I was shocked. Mom was angry. We finished our meal and were starting to leave, when mom aksed the waiter if there were any fresh carrots in the kitchen. The waiter thought there might be and mom asked if she could get two large ones, tipping the waiter. He returned with the carrots and they were fair sized. Mom got our of her chair and walked to the two ladies. At the table, she put the carrots in fronr of them and loudly said, "You wanted something large tonight, just don't get pregnant with these." She turned and we left the room. We were soon in the car riding home. Neither of us said a word during the drive.

At home, we each went to our rooms. I sat on the bed thinking. I usually keep a small stock of alcoholic beverages in my room, so I decided to hav a drink. I took off my shoes and removed my tie. The jacket was laying on the bed. Drink safely in hand, I was sitting on my private balcony, looking out at nothing. There's a view, but I was not paying attention to it. I was just loosing myself in thought.

I was remembering again all those times in High School that people either thought that I was Gay or a secret girl. I didn't get tormented too much and don't have any bad memories of it. After school, I had finished my studies and moived away. Where had Roger gotten my number? Then the answer came to me in a flash...MOM! She had always liked Roger and used to kid me that he really liked me, too. She would say that he, Roger, would make a good husband for me. I would usually just turn bright red at these comments and run to my room and hide.

I still remember the day I got real mad at Mom and ran out of the housse, swearing never to come back. I had walked for a long time and tried to calm down. I just couldn't understand why Mom, of all people, would keep picking on me about being Roger's wife. I was a B-O-Y. I saw so mad that I almost didn't see the car that sideswiped me. If I hadn't tried to jump out of the way, I would have been killed. Lucky me, I just had a broken left arm and leg and fractured pelvis. I was in the base hospital for a long time.

Life in any hospital is boring. if it hadn't been for Roger, I would have gone crazy. He came by almost aevry day and hepled me with my homework and stuff. He would bring in vidoes and books and we'd just hang out and talk. So, ok, I was the one hanging, I mean I was in traction. Ha, got you! Roger would even spend most of the weekends with me. It was a long six weeks then I was home, but still not in school. Again Roger was a lifesaver. He spent so much time at my house that he even had his mom bring over some clothes. I guess she was happy that Roger had a friend and he was a good friend. He helped give me baths and cleaned up after me. Mom said that he did it out of love. I blushed when she said that.

All I know is that when I needed someone, Roger was there. He was supportive and caring. Then one day, he was gone. We had graduated High School and were discussing plans for the future. We were going to meet up with some of our fellow grads for an after Graduation party and Roger never showed up. I called his house, but there was no answer. No answer after knocking on his door, either. Nothing. Him and his mother just vanished. Roger was gone and hadn't even said goobye.

Life went on and as I sit here, I wonder why he left and what happened in the intervening years. There was so much that I wanted to tell Roger, but never got a chance. I hadn't realized how he had filled my life and I hadn't reaized how much I loved him. Mom knew all the time, but didn't pry.

Now as I sip my drink, I've made up my mind. I'm going to tell mom she was right and I'm going to tell Roger. Oh, yea, one of the things we mentioned over the phone was that we were still single. I pleaded the pressures of business and he said that there was someone special, but nothing more. Our conversation ended with my comitment to attend the reunion and I am looking forward to seeing Roger again.

 
As I rounded the corner and walked towards my cubicle I felt as if I was being watched. Not unusual, you’re thinking, because people always watch people, especially as they come to work. Well, in my case I ceased to be watched just after being hired. That was three long hard years ago. I kept to myself, did my work and talked to no one about anything other than work.
 

As I rounded the corner and walked towards my cubicle I felt as if I was being watched. Not unusual, you’re thinking, because people always watch people, especially as they come to work. Well, in my case I ceased to be watched just after being hired. That was three long hard years ago. I kept to myself, did my work and talked to no one about anything other than work.

Yea, I’m that person in the office that everyone ignores. To most people it is irritating but not to me. Instead I revel in the solitude. I don’t need to impress my co-workers with flattering words and meaningless platitudes. Instead I do my job, collect my pay and live my own life, such as it is. Yet today I felt eyes on me as I walked towards my cubicle.

When I turned my head to see who was looking, I saw no one and nothing out of the ordinary. Yet the feeling persisted. It persisted until I entered my cubicle and saw flowers of all things. I looked at the flowers and then glanced over the tops of the cubicles. No one was looking my way. In fact it was almost eerily quiet in the place. Like someone holding their breath.

Seeing no one, I looked at the flowers and noticed a card. I carefully removed the card and read the contents. I was curious to see if the flowers were for one of the ladies so I could put them on the right desk. What I read was confusing.

I wondered what that meant, but as the flowers were not mine I wasted no time in trying to figure out some love struck person’s mind. Instead I looked for the most likely recipient of the flowers and with an inward ah ha, I figured out where the flowers belonged, the new admin secretary. I had overheard a couple of the guys talking about her, seems she had been dumped and they were eager to date her. Yea, that was it, the new admin secretary.

Looking to be sure her desk was unoccupied I returned the card to its place and hurried to her desk. I was lucky and had the flowers placed on the desk and was back in my cubicle when I heard her yell out. “Oh my God, someone sent me flowers. Aren’t they pretty! There’s even a card.” I peaked over the top of the cubicle and saw her waving the card in the air. I smiled as I sat down thinking ‘Mission accomplished.’ Without another thought I turned on my computer and logged into the system. Another work day started.

I was working on a budget analysis for an upcoming project and needed a break. I had sat hunched over a computer monitor for all of two hours. It was after ten and I needed to stretch. I shoved my feet into my sandals and pushing my chair back, I stood and stretched. It was only the intake of another persons’ breath that caused me to turn and look. I saw the admin secretary holding the flowers and smiling. I nodded and turned to step past her. As I stepped to her side, she said “See my flowers. Aren’t they pretty?” Again I nodded, trying to step around her. “Uh, you don’t know who sent them, do you?” I shook my head ‘No’ and as she looked down at the flowers, I stepped past her and headed towards the staff rest rooms. I heard “Hey, wait.” as I turned the corner and continued my journey.

I made it past the staff break room and reached for the door marked stairwell. A quick glance told me that I was alone and I pushed the door open and headed up one flight. I entered a carpeted hallway and went immediately to the door marked ‘Men’. I listened for sounds and hearing none, I entered. I moved into a stall and locking the door, did my business. After flushing, I washed my hands and exited. I returned to the floor below and threaded my way to my cubicle. Work was waiting.

I worked straight through till 2 PM then I logged off the system and closed out my open files. I saved my work and gathered my few personal items before heading for home. I work an abbreviated, call it a short shift and my hours are from 8 AM to 2 PM. There’s no dress code so I can wear baggies and a hoodie to hide my deformity. I looked over the cubicles and threaded my way to the door. In the small lobby I waited for an elevator, my ride to the ground floor and home.

I pulled my hood over my head as I exited the building and hunched my shoulders. My small pack was over my left arm and I held the strap in my hand. I joined the throng of people on the sidewalk and made my way to the bus stop. Flashing my bus pass, I climbed on board and found an empty seat. I kept my head down as the bus roared into life and my journey home began again. I counted the stops and at the right number, I glanced up to see my stop looming before me. I stood and made my way to the door. I heard snippets of conversation, but mostly ignored them. What people said was not important to me. I was the official outcast of the city and I had heard it all before. I exited the bus as the door opened and continued on foot to my destination.

I live in the warehouse district in an old seemingly abandoned building. I inherited the building from my grandmother and as the taxes are paid up and it has a nice owners’ apartment built in, I took up residence. I live alone and with the exception of the occasional police officer questioning why I am in the area, I live unmolested. I undressed and headed for the bathroom and a shower. I turned on the shower as I undressed and tossed my clothes into the hamper. I adjusted the water temp and got under the stream. I washed my hair and used my conditioner then washed my body. As a hand went over my nipple, I felt it stiffen and saw goose bumps start to appear on my chest. My other nipple stiffened too, but I dismissed this and continued to wash and rinse off the soap and rinse out the conditioner. I dried myself off and covered my disfigured body with a robe.

In my bedroom, I pulled on pajamas and then went to the kitchen. I fixed myself a late lunch/early dinner and sat in front of the TV as I ate. I watched the news channel and again saw that really nothing was new. It was the same old thing. After finishing my meal, I cleaned up the kitchen and grabbing a beer, returned to sit in front of the TV. I was going to see a Pay-Per-View and settled down to watch the action.

I must have fallen asleep cause the next thing I knew I was in my bed. I couldn’t remember going to bed and that meant only one thing, my brother. Darn! Even though I had been disowned by my family my brother tried to keep tabs on me. I had been avoiding him for a while and now it seems he had come to me. Darn again! I struggled from under the covers and looked at the clock. It was 6:43 AM. I panicked then realized it was Saturday and no work today. Darn for the third time. That meant my brother would be here for the whole day and possibly the weekend. Unless.

Awake now, there was only one thing to do and I got out of bed to do it. I pulled on my robe and headed to the living room. Yup, my brother James was asleep on the couch. After confirming this tragedy I went to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. As it brewed I gathered the required stuff to fix myself a cup. I set out another cup for my brother and waited for the coffee to finish. I used that time to review my last encounter with my brother and nothing good came out of it again. That only made me curious as to why he had come to see me. I mean I was renounced and disowned by my family, well except for Gram and no one ever called or wrote to me. Not even during the holidays. I was alone in the world and knew that’s how I’d die. Alone. At barely 27 years old I was adrift in the current of humanity. No anchor, no place to call home except for my building and no family ties. That again brought up the question why my brother, not one of my many admirers, was sleeping on my couch.

I took my cup and headed for my room and a morning shower. The hot water running over my scared body would wake me up and allow me to think. And I had plenty to think about. I turned on the water and pulled out clothes as I waited for the hot water to run. Checking the temp I adjusted the water flow and stripping away my clothes, I got under the water. This time I didn’t wash my hair, just my badly scared body. I finished my shower, dried off and dressed. Gathering my coffee cup, I went back to the kitchen noting that my brother was still asleep on the couch.

Well, I had to beard the lion at some point, so I refilled my cup and went over to the couch. I stood looking at him sleeping. He was such a beautiful boy, well young man. How I ached as I remembered our childhood. We were inseparable. Inseparable until my body started to change. Then along with the rest of the family he cast me from his life. So, why was he here?

I prodded his arm and called his name. “James.” Nothing, so I called out again. “James. Wake up!” This time louder. “JAMES!” He started to stir and I moved back a couple of feet as he stirred. He stopped moving and I called his name again. “James!” This time he actually sat up and looked around. I backed off again wondering how he was going to react towards me. Like I said our last meeting wasn’t too pleasant.

He stretched and looked around and as his eyes looked at me I cringed. Sure he was supposed to be my twin, but that was the past. Now I was just worried. He gave me a lopsided smile and said “Uh, any more of that coffee?”

“In the kitchen. You want it, you get it.” I gestured towards the kitchen as I added, “Cup’s on the counter. Fill it, then tell me why you’re here.”

He got to his feet and stretched again, then looking around he moved toward the kitchen. I heard him pour the coffee and the sound of a spoon being knocked on the side of a cup. A moment later he reappeared in the living room. “Good coffee.” Was all he said as he watched me.

“Great, you came all this way for coffee. Drink up and get out.” I wouldn’t look at him, but added “Oh yea, how’d you get in?” That’s when I noticed a bunch of keys on the side table and quickly grabbed them.

“Hey, give them back.”

I nodded as I twisted a copy of my door key from his collection and threw the rest at him. “Sure, now finish your coffee and get out.”

He smile and raised his cup to his lips and took a sip. “I will when, uh after I tell you why I’m here.”

I looked back at his face and said “I don’t care why you’re here. It was you that got me kicked out of the family. Just leave me the hell alone. In case you’ve forgotten, I was disowned.”

His shoulders seemed to sag and he said “Yea, about that.”

I wasn’t listening and replied “There’s nothing about that. Just get the hell out of my life. It’s your fault this happened to me.” I gestured with my free hand at myself and added “Did you think I wanted this to happen?”

I felt a tear in the corner of my eye and ran to my room. I slammed the door and sat on the bed remembering.

My brothers had overheard mom talking to one of her friends. She had mentioned some regret for not having a girl to raise, but since she had to have a Hysterectomy after my brother and I were born, she was unable to get pregnant again. Whatever possessed my brothers, only god knows? I was the youngest and my mother fussed over me. A strange idea formed in their heads. I would be the daughter mom wanted. I was after all the youngest, being born 32 minutes after James and I was smallest. They also thought that I had the ideal girl’s name, Taylor. Mom used the same name for me and James, except she made our names backwards. He is James Taylor and I’m Taylor James

Luckily for me Gram had given me this building when I was 16 and so I moved in and enrolled in a local college. I studied and earned a degree in Mathematics and after earning a Master’s Degree, I found a suitable job. The dress code was lax and the hours were flexible. I had only seen my brother twice in the intervening years and both times were not good. One was to sign away my share of my inheritance and the other was to tell me that dad had died.

So now I wondered what was up.

I heard a knock on my door and looked up. The door opened and my brother asked “Are you all right?”

“No, I’m not alright as you put it. Just what the hell do you want his time? Last time was bad enough. I didn’t even get to go to the funeral. So now is this more of your crap?”

My brother moved to sit beside me and the taking a deep breath said “Mom has cancer. Bad cancer and she wants to see you before she dies.” He looked like he wanted to say more but didn’t.

I looked at him and sobbed out “Mom’s dying. So what am I supposed to do? She’s never forgiven me for what you and Teddy did to me. She put the blame on me and you two let it there. Well, she can just die for all I care!” I shouted out my anger.

He hadn’t moved as I ranted. Then quietly he said “Teddy and I told mom. Last year. We told her everything. She’s mad as heck with us and she sent me after you.” He looked at my face as he said “Please come home. For mom’s sake. She wants to see you before she dies.” When I didn’t immediately respond, he added “She said to tell you she’s sorry and that she loves you.” I was crying as he added. “She wants to see her daughter.”

I stopped. It was like my breathing just stopped. I shook my head to clear the cobwebs or whatever was blocking my head. James was smiling at me and I guess I just looked dumb. Trying to remember what he said I repeated what I thought I heard. “Daughter. You said she wants to see her daughter?”

He nodded ‘yes’ and added “That’s right. I’ve been sent to bring you home to mom.”

I sat there like the proverbial lump as James watched me. The word daughter kept banging around in my head. Daughter, DAUghter, DAUGHTER, DaughTER. Listening to the echoes in my brain pan, I looked at James and said “No, not today, not ever. Mom doesn’t have a daughter. She had three sons, but one died. Tell her that you couldn’t find me. Tell her…whatever. Just tell her. No daughter.”

James’s face was filled with disbelief as he said “I thought this was what you wanted? This is what we gave you them pills for. To make mom happy, give mom a daughter. Now, when she needs you, you say no? What kind of a daughter are you?”

I hopped off the bed and looked at his face. He looked like he was going to cry. I wouldn’t let that influence my decision. I said, evenly “I only wanted to be who and what I was. It was your bright idea to turn me into a girl with them pills, not mine. Heck if you had something at the time I would have freaked and you know it. No, you and Teddy” Again I gestured at my body. “did this to me. You tell me what kind of daughter that makes me?” I yanked open my robe and heard him gasp as he looked at my chest.

“My God, what are the scars from? Do they hurt?”

I stood there looking at him, then said “Elective mastectomy, bilateral, and no they don’t hurt.”

“Huh?”

I sighed and said “In plain terms I had my boobs cut off.” I swear he turned white as a sheet as he looked at my chest and I added “So I could pass as a man.”

I heard him say softly “Oh.”

I pulled on a shirt, left the room and went to the kitchen. I heard a door close and the sound of running water. A few minutes later James reappeared in the living room. He was sporting a sad look and said “So, what do I tell Mom?”

I looked at him and replied “Tell her what I said. I’m no one’s’ daughter and never will be. If she wants to see her son, YOUR twin brother, let me know, otherwise…”

A look of sadness flashed over James as he said “Sure, I’ll go and deliver the message. I just hope she…never mind, I’ll just go.” He gathered his possessions and went out the door stopping long enough to add “By the way, mom sent you flowers. Hope you liked them.” Pulling it closed behind him he left me standing there. I ran to my room and cried.

The cold irony was that after my surgery I was karyotyped and it turns out that I’m an XX.

Mommy, hold me, please!
 
 

Author's Note: Please forgive me. I checked my editing and saw that I forgot certain formatting. I hope this makes it easier to read. BrandieS

“Ok, I agree it’s not much to go by, but it’s all we have.” A hand waved a piece of paper through the air.

“I still don’t like it. I mean wh…”

“For Christ’s sake, don’t. You of all people should know better. As I recall you weren’t the best bigger brother. I mean...you know what I mean.” These thought were cut short by his own unkind memories. Memories that now came back to haunt him. What was that phrase, oh yea ‘If only’.”

The woman heard her sons arguing. They had been doing a lot of that lately. Whenever she entered the room, they pretended everything was ok, but she knew better. Whatever it was she hoped that they would get over it. It was bad enough that one son was missing and a father was dead. She didn’t need the other three fighting.

The older brother took the paper and looked at it, then looked at his brothers. “Well, at least it’s something. We should track it down. It does have a reference to his Drivers' License and that may well be a good starting point.” He shrugged, then added “Which one of us is going to track this down?” He looked at the faces of his brothers and made a decision. “I’ll do it. I’m oldest. He knows me the least. I mean I was 13 years old when he was born and out of the house before he disappeared. Tommy if he sees you, he’ll probably freak out and Andy, he’ll think you’re making fun of him from what you’ve said about how he was before he left. He’ll never believe you’re Gay. Let alone proud of it. No” He shook his head and continued “it has to be me.” Under his breath he murmured’ I only hope we find him alive.’

When I was twenty-two years old, something similar happened to me. It's kinda funny now.

Light filters thru the window and a glimmer hits a face. Feeling the warmth from the errant sun ray, the sleeper stirs and pulls a pillow to the side of his face. The errant sunshine moves to another spot and becomes more insistent, waking the sleeper from his REM state. Realizing that sleep has fled in the early morning light, the sleeper stirs and sits at the side of the bed. The momentary transition from horizontal to sitting overcome, the ex-sleeper rises and begins a new day. But before work, first things first.

'Uhg, I gotta pee.' rushes the thought process. Standing in front of the toilet, the ex-sleeper fumbles with the opening of his sleep wear and is soon rewarded by the sound of liquid hitting liquid as his bladder empties. Just as he finishes and begins to return his manhood back into it's preferred position, he feels his hand being covered with a white sticky substance.

Startled he says out loud "Damn, why does this have to happen now?" It's a rhetorical question as he doesn't want an answer. He looks around to see the extent of the splatters of white gooey junk and grabs a nearby washcloth to begin the cleanup. Still talking to himself, he says "Why me, why does this happen? Why can't I be like other guys and just be normal. It's not like I don't try."

He runs the hot water in the sink and rinses the cloth. Wringing out the excess water he resumes cleaning up the sticky mess. He cleans the top of the toilet and the sticky mess on the floor. "Glad I didn't step in it" he muses. "Seems like an awful lot. Wonder just how much there was, hmmm?"

Finally finished with the cleanup, he picks up the now battered and empty can of shaving cream and throws it in the waste swearing that he'll not buy another. He rubs his jaw and grins, so I don't have to shave. Oh, well.

If you haven’t read ‘The Mail Box’, please read it before you read this. If you have read ‘The Mail Box’, thank you for your comments.

The woman waited, almost lurking in the shadow as the mourners departed the grave site. Still as she watched the last mourner leave the carpeted grave side, she held her place. There were tears in her eyes and her vision was a blur. Knowing the impact of watching the ceremony from afar, she had chosen wisely to forgo the ritual of make-up.

Dressed in a rather thread worn dark dress and scuffed shoes, she looked left then right and stepped from her protected place. She walked hesitantly towards the shiny coffin. Any about would probably not notice a person as shabby as this one. That’s not to say that she was dressed shabbily, she was wearing one of her best. But best had several definitions and to the mourners that had departed, her ‘best’ was not. Still, it was her best and she wore it with dignity and grace.

Closing on the grave site, she noted the arrival of the cemetery staff. They smiled lightly and nodded to affirm her presence. The staff stood away allowing her a few precious moments with her thoughts. Thoughts were playing through her head as she gazed at the coffin. She placed an out-stretched hand on the coffin and ran her hand along its length. Bending slightly, she brushed her lips against the coffin, then stood and said “Sweet dreams, Daddy.” She turned and walked away, not noticing the occupants of the last car to leave the site or the startled look on their faces.

Tears streamed down her face as she walked to the cemetery entrance and waited on a city bus. Once on board, she wiped her eyes and began to apply a small amount of make-up. Life goes on she thought and remembered a verse from an old Doris Day song, “When I was just a little girl, I asked my mommy what would I be. Would I be pretty, would I be rich? Here’s what she said to me. Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que sera, sera.”

‘Que sera, sera.’ She thought as she reached her stop. She stood and exited the bus, walking down the littered street to a worn building. Opening the front door, she climbed three sets of steps and paused. From her purse she took a key and opened the door, then walked in, closing the door behind her. She took a look around and set her resolve. She went into the closet and removed a worn shoe box. Pulling it down she carried it back into the kitchen and emptied the contents on the table. Sitting, she sorted through the spilled contents, finally finding a faded letter.

Holding the letter, her resolve began to fade, but she shook herself renewing herself to her task. She opened the envelope and read the few words within.
 
 
Dearest Daddy,
For that is what you are. I have completed my journey and long to come home. I have sorely missed both you and mama, yet have stayed away these years due to our mutual hurt. I apologize again that I cannot be the son you so desperately wanted. That is a path which I am no longer able to wander on. I have changed my body to conform to my minds’ image of who and what I am.

Your loving daughter
 
 
Crumpling the paper she said “I’m sorry, Daddy. I never mailed the letter. Please forgive me. I was just afraid.”

Have you ever been acused of something, anything that you didn't do. Were you punished and how did you react to the punishment? Is it realy as simple as...'He said, she said'

Taught a Lesson
by
BrandieS

"Hold him still, damnit." I didn't recognise the voice. Not suprising, I was new here and didn't know anyone at all. I felt a pain then something kinda hard shoved in my ass. I tried to shrug it off, but felt it being shoved deeper inside me. Then it pulled back and I thought it would come out, but no, it went back in. Then a steady rhythm of in and out. After a few minutes of this, I felt something wet and warm inside me. Like piss? I heard a laugh, then "You want some of this, it's tight." The person between my legs got up and I tried to struggle. I got kicked real hard for my trouble. A knee was pushed hard into my side causing me to gasp for breath. Then I felt another hard thing in my ass. This one went back and forth for a couple of minutes, then I felt the warm wet feeling again, followed by laughing. The person got off me and I was kicked a bunch of times and told that I could expect worse if I didn't put out. The laughing disappeared into the distance.

The days and weeks settled into the same routine. Beatings and being raped. I lost weight and became incontinent of both bladder and bowel. Everyone laughed at me. I was pathetic. Covered in multicolor bruises and open sores. I had been taken to the School doctor, but he painted my sores with Iodine and marked me fit. He did take blood specimens, just to make sure that I didn't give the other boys a disease, he said, then sneered at me. He had no sympathy for me either. I was convicted of Rape and deserved what I got.

Yea, I was convicted of rape. That's funny. Right. Well, maybe not to you. I am 12 years old and not too big. I graduated fron the sixth grade and was gonna go to Junior High in the Fall. Not now though.

There was a girl a few houses down from us. She's kinda pretty. I saw her a few times and she said hello, but not much more. Anyway, I was going to the park and have to pass by her house to get there. So, I was going to the park and I saw some guy come out her front door. I just looked at him. He was real big and dark colored too. I never seen anybody like that, till then. She didn't see me, but the guy did. He cut across the yard and grabbed me by the shirt and said, "You didn't see no one, got it?" Then he pushed me down. I just got up, dusted myself off and ran to the park. Couple days later, I had forgotten about it.

The some time in the late Summer, I answered the door and a cop was standing there. He was polite and asked if my parents were home. I let him in and went and got my Mom. He said his name and asked if we knew the girl down the street. Mom said that she saw her in the neighborhood once in a while and I said that I would sometimes see her in her yard or on her porch. The officer asked if I had ever been inside her house. I said no. He smiled, then asked if I had ever touched her. I turned red at that and he asked me why. I told him that the girl was pretty and that last Halloween when she was giving out treats, I had accidentally brushed her hand as I took the Halloween treat she offered. He smiled at my story, but told me that that was not what he meant by touching her. I was confused.

He said that she said I had touched her. You know in that way between a man and woman. I denied it. The officer said that I would have to go to the hospital for a blood test. He said that he didn't think I did anything wrong. He drove me and Mom to the hospital and after a wait, someone stuck me with a needle and filled a tube with blood. A lady doctor talked to me about sex and how I was considered too young to be sexually active. Then she asked me if I had any other partners. I didn't understand what that meant and she explained. I said I didn't do any sex stuff. She smiled, too.

The officer drove mom and me home and said that he would get back to us. Mom thanked him for taking us to the hospital and bringing us home. During this I could see that mom was scared. After the officer left, Mom and me sat on the couch and she asked me if I had been with that girl. I said no. Mom said she believed me and gave me a hug.

Some days later, the police officer was back at our house. He said that the blood test showed that I was guilty of being with that girl. My blood was that same. I said no way, but the officer said that he had a warrant for my arrest. Mom asked what I was being charged with and he said, First Degree Rape, cause the girl was a minor. Also she said that I was the person that raped her. Yea, I talked to her once in a while, but just stuff like how's the weather, or I'm going to the park. Not real talk.

The officer took me to a kids jail place and I had a picture taken and fingerprints. I was told to change clothes and I was taken to a room to spend the night. The next morning, I was given different clothes and taken into a curtroom. There was a man in a black robe and he asked if I done it. I said no. Another man said that the victim identified me. The judge asked if I wanted to change my plea. Huh? I didn't say nothing. Then the man at my table asked about bail. The three men talked some, then the judge said a bunch of money. The girl's father was in the room and he said good. That way he could teach me to treat girls right. The judge heard that and then said no bail. I was taken back to the kids jail.

I guess I was at the kids jail for a couple of weeks, when they came and got me. I was taken into a courtroom and there were a lot of people in the room. There were a bunch of people, men and women, sitting behind a small walled off place. This was a jury, I was told. Then the jugde banged his hammer and told one of the lawyers to start. The guy stood up and talked to the jury people about how I did a bad thing. Then this lawyer asked a bunch of questions to several people. He said he was done and sat down. My lawyer stood up and talked about the girl and what was done. He said I was a little boy and that the girl could have easily hurt me if she had tried. He said that I didn't bother no one and was innocent. Then the first laywer asked me if I liked the girl. I turned red. He asked if I had a girlfriend. I said no. He asked if I ever saw the girl with any boys and I said no. I remembered the guy that saw me by her house that time and I didn't say nothing. Finally, my lawyer said he was done.

The people went out and I sat at the table with mom. Soon, the people came back in and the judge came back too. I didn't even see him leave the room. He asked one of the people if they decided and they said they did. He asked what they decided and they said I done it. I was mordified. I didn't do nothing. The judge thanked the people for their help and asked me to stand up. Then he said that I would be going to the State School for Boys and I would get out when I was 18 years old. He said that I was a bad boy and that he had to keep people safe from me. He then asked if I had anything to say. I just shook my head no, but mom stood up and asked the judge if she could say something. The judge said that it was unsusal, but he would allow it.

Mom thanked the judge and then turned to the girl and her family. She appologized for any harm that had happened to their family. She said that I was a good child and never got into trouble. She said that since the jury had decided that I was guilty, then she had to believe that I had done some wrong. The girl's father smiled at this. Mom said that since the girl was only 16 years old she might need help during the pregnancy and after. As I was judged to be the cause of her problem, mom would help the family. She said that she wanted her grandbaby to be healthy and happy and would pay fifty percent of the doctor bills. The girl did not look too good at this and turned her face away from mom's.

The judge called the lawyers to the bench and they talked for a while. Then the judge asked the girl and her daddy to stand up. He said he was sorry for what happened to the little girl. He said that it was not often that someone like my mom offered to make up for what was done by a child. The judge said that Mom would pay fifty percent of the doctor bills and then pay a monthly child support payment to her grandchild. The girl's dad smiled and said ok. The judge asked if there was any other business, if not he would adjourn the court. Mom quickly said that since she was gonna pay part of the care, that the girl could not get an abortion. The judge agreed, also saying that he would appoint a doctor for the girl. He dismissed the court and I was taken to the State School for Boys and that's how I got to see the doctor.

I had to got see him weekly, I wasn't told why. The guard brought me in, the doctor checked my bruises and sores, looked at my ass and gave me a shot. This started to be my routine. Daily beatings and rapes, followed by weekly visits to the doctor.

About 4 months into my time, I was attacked as usual. This time, I hardly fought. The boys didn't like me not fighting and just hit me harder. I remember them leaving me on the floor and then I woke up in a bed. There was a curtain pulled around me and my wrist was chained to the side rail.

I had yanked the side rail and a police officer came over by my bed. He introduced himself and after telling me where I was, he asked if I remembered who attacked me. I shrugged and said no. He said that it was plain that I had been beaten alot recently and that he would help. I just said no. He left me his card and said if I changed my mind to give him a call. I threw the card away.

I was released from the bed into the custody of the School doctor. The handcuffs were re-attached as the doctor led me out to a van for the ride back to the School. The doctor complained all the way back about what a problem I was causing. I didn't say anything. At the School, the doctor put me in a small room and told me to undress and put my clothes in the paper bag provided. Then I had to stand facing the wall, with my hands over my head leaning slightly against the wall for support. The doctor had the guard kick my feet apart and back farther from the wall. Then the doctor gave me another shot in my ass, actually two shots, one in each cheek. Then he left the room and the guard raped me. Finally I was alone in the room, There was a thin mattress on the floor and a simple blanket. I lay down and went to sleep.

My days were filled with shots in the ass and being raped. This went on for several weeks. Finally I had had enough and tried to kill myself. I was able to tear the blanket into thin strips and braided a kinda rope. I fastened one end to my feet and ran the rope up my back, then tied the loose end around my neck. Course, I was laying on my side with my legs bent back behind me as I did this. I figured that during the night, I would choke myself to death, when I moved in my sleep. I kinda thought that dying in my sleep would be easier.

Luck was not with me. There was a new guard at the School and he was too thorough. He saw the rope around my neck and opened the door. When he saw how I was tied, he put out an alarm. Luckily the doctor only worked days, cause an ambulance was called and I was taken to a hospital. I was examined and asked a bunch of questions. I didn't say a thing. Someone gave me a shot in the butt and they saw the marks from the other shots. Someone asked what kinda medicine I was taking, but I still didn't say a thing. Then someone said to take blood samples for chemical analysis.

After that I was put in a room with another bed on the floor. This one was clean and I was given a clean blanket. I was handed a small cup of water and I drunk it. They took back the cup and I just curled up on the floor and slept.

There was a bunch of noise when I woke up. A couple of guys was arguing in the hall bout something. One of them walked off, down the hall and then someone opened the door. I sat up wondering what was gonna happen. The person at the door just looked at me without saying anything. I looked back, then shrugged and did what I was suposed to do. I knelt over and exposed my ass. I kooked at the person by the door and said one word, "Ready." The person by the door made some kinda throat noise and said, "Pull your pants up." The door closed and I was alone again.

When you're in a strange place, your mind does things to you. I could hear my heart beating and feel my blood flowing. The noises from the hall were loud and echoey. The air from the ceiling howled. The handle to my door turned and I glanced at the door. As it started to open, I thought I heard the School doctor, so I assumed the position that he liked best. Up against the wall, hands over head, legs spread. The pants I had been wearing were in a pile across the floor. It was him and he came into the room, but there was another person with him. I guess the School doctor didn't see me at first, but the other person did. I heard a sharp intake of breath, then the person and the School doctor left the room. The sound of the door closing was loud.

I was taken from the first room and put in a special room. It had mattresses against the walls. I was given a kinda t-shirt to wear and nothing else. I was left like this for a while and later, somebody brought me food I didn't eat. When the person came into the room, I just pulled my t-shirt up on my back and got on my hands and knees. I was too tired to fight. I just hoped they would just rape me and let me sleep. The person asked me what I was doing, but I didn't say anything. He even came over to me to help me get off the floor. When he tried to touch me, I cried out and curled up in a ball. I did this to protect myself from the kicking. He quickly left the room and when he came back, he had a girl doctor with him.

When he came back into the room, I quickly assumed the rape position. Then he let the girl doctor in the room. She asked what did I think I was doing. I didn't answer. She asked how long this had been going on. I didn't answer. She was standing behind me and she looked at my body. Her eyes got real big when she saw the bruises on my body. She got closer and I just hugged my knees. She saw the marks on my butt and she also saw my butt hole. I heard her gasp. She turned to the man with her and told him to pick me up and bring me with her. He was stunned. He didn't want to touch me. He told her that I was convicted of Rape and that I probably enjoyed taking it up the butt. The doctor was mad.

She called for another person to come to the room. By this time I had put my t-shirt back on and was sitting in the corner. I did not know what was gonna happen to me. The School doctor said that if I was not good, then the state would cut off my nuts and dick. I thought that's what the girl doctor was gonna do. When the person grabbed my arm and tried to get me on my feet, I screamed for them not to cut my nuts and dick off. I said I would be good. Please don't cut me. The girl doctor asked me to repeat what I just said and I did. She had a real mad look on her face and I said I was sorry that I made her mad. I asked her to please not tell the guards or the doctor. She said she had heard enough and I thought I was in trouble again. I curled up in a ball on the floor and started crying.

The girl doctor called somebody cause I could hear noise in the hallway. Soon, someone was standing guard outside the door. She told the guard that only certain people were allowed in and gave him a list of people. Then she walked off, down the hallway.

A little while later the door opened and a girl came in. I didn't move but watched her. She had a tray of food and was talking softly to me. She put the tray on the floor and sat down beside it. It sure smelled good. But I knew that if I tried to eat some, she would just hit me. That's what normally happened. I was a convicted Rapist and only good for one thing. The only thing that went in my mouth was someones dick. Some of the boys liked to stick their dicks down my throat and others just liked to have me clean them off after they came in my butt. A couple would squirt in my mouth. I hadn't had any real food for a while. Normally, I just slept between rapes. Unless I had to go to the doctor for a shot. But, that food sure smelled good.

The girl just sat there. I turned to the wall and hugged my self. I tried to be quiet cause I didn't want no beating. I was sore all over and scared. I didn't know what new tortures I was gonna get. I just closed my eyes and finally went to sleep.

I felt like I was floating. I could hear pretty music in the background and some kind of beeping too. I was enjoying the feeling of floating. Everything was soft against my body. Then I felt someone grab me and shake me. I heard someone say,"Jimmy, Jimmy, wake up now." I thought 'Who was Jimmy?' Then I remembered. I was Jimmy. But why did someone want me to wake up? Didn't they know how good I felt now? The person kept calling for Jimmy to wake up and shaking my shoulder. Finally I opened my eyes. I was in a bed in another room. There was a bunch of machines making noises and one machine was beeping.

The girl doctor was looking down at me. Her mouth was open but no sound was coming out. She shook her head and turned away. Then I saw some movement a few feet away. It was the School doctor. He was waving a piece of paper at the girl doctor and pointing to me. The girl doctor was shaking her head and pointing too. I didn't know what was going on. I didn't want to get them madder at me. They seemed real mad, now. I tried to get out of the bed, but fell on the floor. Both the doctors heard the noise I made and ran over to me. The girl doctor was screaming at the School doctor. They picked me up off the floor, then the School doctor shoved the girl doctor and a guard picked me up over his shoulder and the School doctor led me out of there.

Outside there was a School van parked and the doors was open. The guard threw me in the back and closed the door, then got in. The School doctor was in the van and we started to go. We didn't get far. There was bunches of cops on the street and they wouldn't let us go. The girl doctor came from somewhere and was talking to the cops and the School doctor. Then someone put me on one of them rolling beds and pushed me back into the hospital. I screamed. I thought the School doctor and the girl doctor was gonna cut my nuts off. That's what the School doctor said he'd do if I caused trouble. Sometimes he would laugh after he gave me a shot and say that it didn't matter, cause soon I wouldn't be able to rape anyone again. Then snip, snip.

I was taken back to the special room and put on the mattress. Someone gave me a clean t-shirt, too. I put it on and hugged my knees. I just leaned against the corner and rocked my self to sleep. I woke up when somone came in the room. It was a man and I was scared. I was afraid to move. He had a tray of food with him. I could smell the good stuff. I expected him to just eat it and spit the leftovers at me. He didn't. He put the tray on the floor and sat down.

I heard a voice talking to me. It sounded like music. It was telling me that I could eat the food if I wanted to. I sure was hungry. But scared. The tray was real close to me. Then I felt something on my hand and looked down. There was a lump of white stuff. I raised my hand and looked at it. From the side I saw the man smile. I knew what that meant. I threw the food away and pulled up my t-shirt and got on my hands and knees. I waited, but nothing happened. Then I felt something real hard in my butt. It was moved around and I heard someone get mad at God, cause I heard, "Christ, what a mess." The hard thing was pulled out of my butt and then something else was put in. It didn't hurt like before, kinda nice. The man said, "Just let the supossitory work and you'll feel better. You need to eat something, too." He put some more of the white lump on my fingers. It was mashed potatoes. I ate the mashed potatoes and the jello, but there was some kinda fruit in it and I spit out the fruit. The person took away the food tray. I sat on the floor and leaned against the wall. I musta fell asleep. I had the same routine for the next few days. Someone brought food and I ate the soft stuff. Then they took away the food tray. My butt didn't hurt that bad now, but I was careful. I kept my t-shirt on, but no one tried to take it off me.

I lost track of time. The girl doctor would come by the room and talk to me, but I didn't say anything. She still talked and talked. Some time later, someone put a small table in the room and two chairs. The next time the doctor came in the room, she sat at the table. A tray of food was put on the other side. She said for me to sit in the chair and eat. She said it was okay. I hesitated, but I wanted the food. I only ate a few things. Mashed potato, jello and I got to drink a bowel of some kinda soup. It was kinda salty, but good. The doctor said it had lectricity in it, or something like that. I sure liked it. I sat at the table and ate the potatoes. The girl doctor smiled and talked.

She knew my name and all about me. She said that she got the State School to send her some records. She said that the School doctor was gonna loose his doctor license and more if she had anything to do with it. I didn't know what that meant. I didn't say anything. She said that she had my blood tested and that the School doctor had given me a Testosterone blocker and then Estrogen shots. The estrogen shots were too much for my body to handle and I had become too docile around boys cause of that. That's why I showed my butt and got on my hands and knees. That and they trained me to do that using the shots from the School doctor and beating me till I did what they wanted. She was real mad at the School doctor.

She wanted to talk about the rape charge. At first I didn't want to, but she kept talking. She said that they only used a blood test, but that the results of the test showed that the girl's dad could be responsible. The girl was still not talking to anyone, except to repeat that I was the one. The doctor asked me if I knew why she would say that and I didn't. It was getting close to the time for the baby to come. I was arrested in July and was sent to the State School in September. It was now January and I had been in the care of the State for 4 and a half months. Gettine raped and beatedn daily. Then the shots had been going on for almost that long too.

There was some changes to my body too. Not just to my mind. My waist got real small, course I didn't eat too good. Then there was my chest. I guess cause I was usually huddled up, I didn't notice my chest. Yea, I got small boobs now. The doctor said that they might go away, might not. Also, the doctor said I kinda walk like a girl and have a girl's butt. I didn't know. She just talked about all kinda things. I tried to listen and made some comments.

One day the doctor asked if I wanted a visitor. I asked who? She said my mom. She told me that she talked to my mom and would bring her here if it was ok with me. I was excited at seeing mom, but hesitated. I said I could not see mom cause of how I looked. The doctor said mom knew what I looked like. She said that she showed mom pictured of what they done to me. Mom wanted to see me real bad. I agreed to see her.

The doctor got me some new clothes to wear for the visit. She gave me a small pair of underpants. I asked where the rest of them were? She smiled and said that these were plain girls pants. They would fit me as I could not wear boys underwear. They did feel good. Then she held up a bra. I blushed. She said that my boobs were big enough to need support and I should learn to wear a bra. Again I blushed, but she just helped me put it on and fastened it. My boobs did feel better, not heavy and as itchy.

She just gave me a regular Hospital gown and robe. She said the underwear were a gift from mom. I cried. Gosh, I felt dumb, crying. I hadn't done that before. She said it was cause of the release of stress. I didn't know I had any. She took me to a special room, with other people and mom came in. When she saw me, she let out a loud gasp. I started to cry and she rushed over to me. Soon both of us were crying. We hugged each other.

We stopped crying and mom sat down. I asked the doctor to stay and she did. Mom said that on the advice of the doctor, mom requested, thru the judge, an animal cencus. Whatever. Anyway, the test showed that the baby was gonna be born wwith a special disease called sick l cell. Only certain kinds of people usually get this disease and I am not one of that kind. When the judge saw the test results, he called everybody back into the courtroom. The judge said that the test showed that I was not the father. The girl's dad was mad. Then the judge said that he was gonna set me free, but he said that if the girl's dad did anything to me, it would be bad. That's when she told him about what the doctor said happened to you. Then he put in a call to the doctor and she talked to him and showed him some pictures, too.

Mom said that I was free to go home. The doctor agreed, but said that I would need to see 2 special doctors at home. One was a head doctor and the other was the kind girls go to. I would be treated and reports would be given to the judge every month. Then mom smiled a real big smile and said that the School people were going to jail for what they did to me. The doctor from the school lost his license and the head guy got fired. Our lawyer is gonna sue them all. But right now, the judge said that he would make the State School pay for anything I wanted. Also, the girl's dad had to pay for some damages too. That meant that we were rich, I think.

Mom and I asked the doctor when I could go home. She said I needed more treatment, but now I could be moved to a new room. She also said that I should start taking the hormones again. I said I didn't ant no more shots. She laughed and agreed, then said that I could take pills. I agreed. I asked if she would still be my doctor and she said no. Then she said that she would rather be a friend. I smiled at this.

It was a uphill battle, but I think I am better. Mom and I moved into a nice house. The judge comes over once in a while and brings his wife. He was embarassed the first time he saw me, but has come to accept me. His wife is funny and kind. She helped mom get me resettled. She also helped mom get me into dresses. I let my hair grow a little longer, but not too much. I don't really look like a real girl cause sometimes, sometimes when I see two people walking holding hands I just cry. Mom understands. I will never have someone other than mom to love.

Yea, the money from the lawsuits is nice. But, I guess the old saying is true. Money can't by happiness. I just try to live one day at a time.

This is a work of fiction. These characters are NOT real. The setting for this fiction is NOT real. This is classified as a What If story and is written soley for amusement. I hope you enjoy the story and are not offended by the content.

Prologue

Life as we know goes on. There are more things in nature than can not easily or readily be counted. Every once in a while a parent is asked a question by a young child. Maybe this explains how the answer might have been given...

Part One

I was just sitting in my seat, waiting for the clock to strike, them I'm outta here. Last period of the day, then off for the weekend. Great! Yea, cept that this shit starts again Monday at 7:30. Crap, ya just can't win.

"Mikey, hey Mikey.", was said quietly. I looked around. Nobody. I thought that I heard someone call my name. But not in this class, in fact not in too many other classes. Course the only ones called my name were the teachers. Always want class participation. What a crock. That was why no one called my name, cept to spit at me, steal my books or worse. Man, I can't wait to get outa this school. Whoever said High school was the best years of their life sure didn't go to this pit.

"Mikey, hey Mikey." There I heard it again. What the hell. I looked around. I almost didn't see the guy signal me. He just kinda waved his hand from the wrist as it laid on his desk. "Nice hair, you do something to it?" he asked, then continued, "It looks real pretty today. Uh, um, special like."

Man, I did not like this at all. 'Come on bell. I gotta get outa here. Shit, I'm in trouble now.' was all I could think. I didn't even realize who the guy was, I was so scared. Then I looked back at him and he smiled at me. 'Oh, GOD', I prayed. Not HIM!

Franklin Ralph Journegan. God, no. I couldn't believe it. I still didn't want to believe it. When we were little, we played together. Heck, we even took baths together. His mom used to babysit me. Now, he's had the change, whatever that is. We all hear bout the Change, but the grownups never tell us anything bout it. All we know is that whenever someone has the Change we don't see them any more. So I guess Frank ain't had the Change. Shit, Frank just went from being my freind to picking on me. The crew he hangs with doesn't like me and it shows. I get knocked down, punched, kicked and spit at all the time, and I'm on the receiving end of some pretty rough beatings. I guess all this Change talk is just an excuse to be mean to people. I mean I'm 17 years old and I ain't got the Change. I seen, well, heard bout a person that didn't get the change and if even a little of the shit I heard is true, I may as well bend over and kiss my ass goodbye. Now Franklin Ralph Journegan is looking at me. Shit!

Frank Journegan was staring at me like I was a prize piece of meat. Man, oh, man, I had to get outta here or I would be a piece of meat, HAMBURGER. Just then, the bell rang and I was up and running. I almost made it to the door, cept two jocks headed me off and knocked my books flying and me on my ass. I thought they were gonna start their weekend early by beating on me, but when I looked up, Frank Journegan was standing over me. 'Shit, shit, shit, shit.' I thought. 'here it comes.' Frank just smiled at me then told the other two to get my books. I was half sitting, half lying on the floor. I didn't know if I shoud get up or just take the beating laying down. Logic got the better of me, so I stayed down, better to cover myself up when the kicking started and, oh yea, less distance to fall.

The rest of the class was leaving fast. They all knew what was gonna happen and didn't want to be witnesses. Yea, right, witnesses. Did I tell you that I went to school with them three monkeys, See no evil, Speak no evil, Hear no evil. Yea, well the other kids hustled outa there like there asses were on fire leaving me alone on the floor with Frank J and goons standing over me. SHIT.

Frank looked at the two goons and said, "Give 'em the books. Then scram." 'Oh, Shit, here it comes." I thought. One of the goons put my books on the table by the door and then both snickered as they left the room. Frank was glaring at the door, then turned towards me. 'Shit.' I thought as I closed my eyes.

I musta passed out cause the next thing I knew, I heard someone asking if I was ok. I was holding back the tears cause I was scared and really afraid. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing would come out. "Shit.' I thought, this ain't good. Since I couldn't talk, I just shook my head. I heard a noncomittal grunt then a hand on my arm, pulling me up. 'Man, why me.'

"Let me help you off the floor. You don't look good down there." This was said by Frank, as I stared at him in fear. "It's ok. Relax, nobodys gonna hit ya." He continued to say as I stood up. Then turning away, he picked up my books and handed them to me. It was like my arms didn't want to work, so he placed the books in my arms and then kinda put his hand on my back and eased me towards the door. I hesitated, then feeling his hand at my waist I surged forward to the door.

I made it to the door first and started to run. No running in the halls, my ass. I had to get outa there and fast. Down the stairs, thru the doors and on to the bus. Whew, made it. I huddled in the seat till it got to my stop, then I shot off like a rocket. Man!

The door hadn't even closed good by the time I made it to my room. I tossed my books on the desk and launched myself towards my bed. I was gasping for air as the door to my room flew open and my mom asked, "What's going on?"
I sat up quickly and said, "Nothing."
"Are you ok? Did anything happen to you at school today?" There was a concerned look on her face.
"No, uh, ummm, I, ah, everythings ok." I stammered. "Really."
She still had the look, but it was going away. "Well, if you're sure. I'll leave you alone for a while,then." Turning, she left my room, closing the door behind her. I immediately fell back on the bed and stiffled a laugh. 'Shit, I thought I was a gonner.'

I musta fell asleep. The next thig I knew, my mother was shaking me telling me to get up and come down stairs to dinner. I went into the bathroom, did my business and went to the kitchen.
"So, Mikey, how was your day. Musta been something to cause you to sleep like that when you came home. That's not like you at all. Oh, by the way, who's Frank?" She rattled all this off as she handed me a plate of food. When she said Frank, I just about dropped the plate.
I thought I recovered pretty well and said, "I don't know no Frank." She just looked at me and smiled. Then, God this was a miracle, she changed the subject. We talked about going to see a movie on Saturday night, Just her and me.

Saturday came and went. No movie, mom had to work an extra shift. I waited up for her to get home and pass some time with her. We don't got nobody else. Dad died when I was a kid and there wasn't much insurance money. But we still get by. In the Summer, I work a part time job, but mom wants me to study during school, so no work now. Still, I try to help as I can. I do dishes and wash my own clothes. Mom does her stuff. I used to get embarassed by her frilly stuff, so she does her own now. I even clean up around the place, actually the only rooms I use are the front hallway, kitchen, my bedroom and bathroom. Still, like I said, I try to help.

Sunday and mom had a day off. Instead of the movie, we went to the riverwalk. Mom likes to walk and walk we did darn near 5 miles. I was tired and I know Mom was tired, but it was a lotsa fun. I helped make dinner when we got home. Nothing fancy just soup and sandwiches. Mom suggested that I review my homework berfore going to bed, so off to my room I went.
I musta fell asleep. Man, what a weird dream. Oh no, the Frank guy was chasing me and I woke up yelling as he caught me.
The door flew open and I musta yelled out something, cause the next thing I know mom was beside me on the bed, hugging me close to her. She held me for a few minutes, then asked, "You alright, Honey?"
"Yea, Mom, just a bad dream." I replied. I wasn't gonna tell her about it though.
"Honey, um, er, ...", she began.
"What mom?"
"You know I'm not trying to pry, but, I, ah, heard you call out a name. The same name as you did Friday after school. Well, I was just wondering....Who's Frank?"
I was in kinda shock. Frank, I had called out Frank. Jeeze, I'm doomed. 'Think fast dummy', I thought. "Oh, I, uh, I don't know no body named Frank. Do you?" I lied.
Mom gave me the look again. Only this time she didn't do or say anything else. "Ok, Honey. If you need me I'll be in my room. Now you get some sleep. School tomorrow." All that said and off she went leaving me speechless. I just went to the bathroom, did my business then went to bed. I could use the sleep. Hey, maybe no dreams! Yea! Not! I lay down, yawned a couple of times then drifted off to wherever I go when I'm sleeping.

Sometime in the night, mom came into my room and held me close. She talked softly to me, like I was a little baby. She kept telling me that "IT" would be alright and that "I" should let the "Change" come. She told me that she had her change when she was 14 and I should let go of my past life and accept the change. I was reminded that I was 17 years old and that it would be bad if I waited till I was 18 for the change to happen. She held me close as she continued to whisper this over and over during the night. Her voice was soft and light, like a feather and floating on the wind.
I woke the next morning with my hair flopping across my face. UH, I felt miserable. Oh, yea, I had to pee. Real bad. I threw off the covers and ran to the bathroom. Standing in front of the toilet, I raised the seat and then got ready to aim and fire. It was just that when I looked down at what I was gonna do, I couldn't see anything. Seems that my chest had swelled up in the night and I couldn't see past it. It also hurt kinda when I rubbed at it. Felt really weird. I did the only thing that I could, I screamed.

Mom heard the scream and came running into my room. I was backing out of the bathroom moaning loudly as she grabbed me and spun me around. She put a hand on each of my shoulders and shook me gently, asking, "Are you hurt?" She had to repeat herself several times before I quieted down. Then with all the courage I had, I took my hands away from my chest and looking down, I wailed, "What happened to me?"
Mom smiled and said. "I guess you had the change."
"What, the Change?", I asked. "I don't know what you are talking about."
Again mom smiled and said, "If you can calm down young lady, I'll tell you all I know."
"...and so, sometime during puberty, the body chooses who it wants to be. Course sometimes it needs a little help deciding. That's what happened to you. You needed help. With your Daddy dead and me working all the time, there was no one close to you to help you. I did notice that your hair had started to grow out and your voice is still high. I guess that's what Frank saw too. You were gonna make a beauiful woman and I guess he set his eye on you. Looking at you, I can't say that I blame him. You are a very beautiful girl." This was all said as I stood naked before the bathroom mirror. I was looking at my 'body' and listening to what Momma was saying.
After a few minutes silence, I turned to momma and asked, "Momma, do, uh, erm, I mean, can I wear a dress to school today?"
"Course you can, Honey. I got just the thing." saying that as she ran to her room. She returned with a wrapped gift box and handed it to me. "Open it, you're gonna love it." she exclaimed.
We spent the next hour getting me ready for school. Hair, makup, dress, the works. Momma promised that there would be continuing lessons when I got home and I was looking forward to learning all I could. I hugged her at the door and walked down the steps toward the sidewalk.
No on seemed to notice anything different. I was still called Mikey, but this time I could hear a definite M-i-C-k-e-y as other students called my name. I continued to school and when I stepped on the school grounds, Frank Journegan smiled at me. Before he could say anything, I smiled at him and gave him a peck on the cheek. He turned bright red and had a funny grin on his face, but it didn't matter I had a funny grin on my face too. I took his arm and we walked into our new class where we would learn all about the effects of the Change. The rest of the day passed in a whirl as Frank carried my books, sat near me, or stared at me with worship in his eyes. He walked me home after school and met my mother, with a promise to arrange for his parents to come to our house for Sunday dinner.

The rest is history now. Frank and I are happy since the Change. The Change was an important part of our lives, but now it has a new generation. Our children are lucky, they have both parents to guide them in the change. We don't know which way they will go, boy or girl, but Frank and I now that whatever they decide it will a choice of love.

The road of life is filled with ups and downs. These can be hills and valleys spanning a wondrous vista. But let us not forget that even on our most favorite roads there may be potholes and hairpin curves.

I got it all figured out. See it’s the food. Mom’s put food on your plate. You push it around and if you’re lucky, some of it falls off. But then, your dad gets mad and yells at you, something like “Quit playing with your damned food. Just pick up the damned fork and eat.” Then for good measure, he glares at you.

Mom smiles a thin smile and says “Do what your dad says, Honey.” So dutifully you pick up your fork and take a bite of the food. You take your time chewing and then take a drink of whatever you have at mealtime. Of course, this brings on another outburst from your dad.

“Don’t think you can fill up on that swill. Eat, damn it!” You put down the glass and grab the fork careful to make sure he sees you putting the food in your mouth.

Dad finishes his meal and get up from the table. Mom looks over at you and smiles. “Just finish up, Sweetie.” She finishes her meal and goes to the kitchen. You sit there pushing your food around and finally get up and carry your plate to the kitchen. You scrape it off in the trash and put the empty dish on the counter. Mom smiles. She knows the truth.

You go to your bedroom, stopping on the way to use the bathroom. The toilet seat is raised and you open your mouth. One finger reaches in and you press the back of your throat. Nothing. A second finger is added and the pressure increases. It takes a few tries, but success. You vomit out all of the nasty food. There is a silly smile on your face as you rinse out your mouth and spit into the toilet. You take satisfaction in knowing that even if you have to eat the food, you can puke it up. You flush the toilet and go to your bedroom.

You may have had to eat the food, but you got rid of it. There’s no way that nasty food will make you grow up to be a stupid boy!

.

The assembly was filled. Students were busily talking to each other and raising their voices to be heard. The Principal stepped to the podium set up on the left of the stage and spoke into the microphone "Attention, please, May I have your attention please." The large room took some time to quiet down as the students quieted and took their seats. The Principal looked at the assembled students and faculty and guests. His heart was thumping wildly in his chest and his palms were sweaty. This was not the type of assembly he preferred or wanted. Still.

Looking from his notes to the audience, he began to speak in a clear voice. "Today is a bad day for us. Our school and our Community are under attack by members of the media. Several of you have been exposed to this attack and are still reeling from it. There are more attacks to come." He let this sink in, then holding out his hand he continued "I have a letter. I am compelled to read it out loud to all of you after which a copy will be published in the Sunday Newspaper. I read this letter yesterday and was shocked by it. I have consulted the School Board's attorney and have been informed that read it I must. Listen to its contents before you make any comments. Immediately after this assembly, several students and faculty members will be called out to meet with. Well you'll see.

Again the principal looked at the letter in his hand. He had hoped that this was a prank, a joke, but that was not to be. The reality was that this letter had come with a high price, too high a price.

He began to read....."To Whom It May Concern, I was a student of your establishment for the past one and a half years. I was looking forward to excelling in your school and going on to a suitable college. If you are reading this, that dream had ended as I am no longer. I do not forgive you for your transgressions, but I suppose that I'll have to discuss my lack of forgiveness with a Higher Power. I will provide a look into the background of this letter. I hope that you and the students enjoy the drama that they have created. Here is a glimpse of their drama. Enjoy!

"Ok, Class, settle down." This came from Mr. Jobe, the Soc 101, teacher. "Settle down." His was the first class after the Lunch Period and too often the students had residual energy to burn off, either that or they wanted nothing better that to take an after meal nap. Finally most of the students were seated and attendance was being taken. "...Jen Nelson, Jason Richards, Fran Smith, Judy Walsh. That seems to be everyone, then." the instructor said as the door opened and a new person walked in. "May I help you, young man?" The young man in guest ion walked to the desk and passed over a piece of paper. Mr. Jobe read the paper, initialed it and handed it back. Looking at the new person, he turned toward the class and said, "Class, this is Fred Brown, a new student. Let's all welcome Mr. Brown to our class." A chorus of hellos were heard scattered throughout the class. Mr. Jobe looked at the newbie again and stated, "Mr. Brown, this is an advanced Sociology class. The students selected for this class were interviewed last term and were to prepare a summary of their project to be turned in today. Since, you are new here, perhaps, you'd like to..." Mr. Jobe’s voice fell off as the student in front of him handed him a single typed page. Mr. Jobe took the page and quickly read the proposed content. Finishing the page, Mr. Jobe looked up and said, "Well class, it would appear that our new student came prepared for the term, but, well, let me read the proposal....hmmm, here is the pertinent part, 'document the effects of public displays of affection, e.g. kissing, hugging', well that would be interesting Mr. Brown." Then the instructor gave a sly grin and asked, "Care to begin your experiment here?"

Fred Brown was looking at the kids in the room. Boys to one side, girls to the other, the usual seating. In the back, halfway between each group, sat a lone figure. The person had a small face, almost elfish, and long brownish hair framed her face. She had a small upturned nose and pretty lips. Kissable was the word that came to Fred's mind. She had looked up at the instructor as he spoke, but otherwise back down towards her desk. She was fidgeting with her pencil as she sat and waited. While the other kids in the class were talking in whispers to each other, she was silent, almost an outcast. Still, when she looked up, she was DDG.

"Mr. Brown, I said, would you care to start your experiment now." Fred was distracted by the girl and replied, "Uh, Yea." Then with the instructor waving him on, Fred walked between the desks towards the 'girl' in the back. Not hesitating, he reached out a hand and pulled her to her feet. Placing his left hand lightly under her chin, he swiveled her head upward, hearing her gasp. He smiled at her pretty face in reassurance. Chestnut colored hair fell gracefully from a center part to frame her face and cover her tiny ears. The magnificent hair was straight and long, passing her shoulders. The hair in the front covering her developing breast? With a delicate touch, Fred drew the hair from her face, uncovering smooth delicate skin, and a glowing complexion and to his astonishment a bruise on her left cheek as a tear formed at the corner of her eye. Her eyes widened as he looked at her lovely face. 'She' was, despite the bruising, radiant. Sculptures eyebrows set atop two perfect brown eyes and a small nose rested majestically above a set of kissable lips. He was right, she was DDG. Bending slightly at the waist he closed the small distance between her lips with his. As he lightly touched her lips with his, he felt her pull back breaking skin-to-skin contact. He pressed forward once more and was rewarded with an almost electrical jolt coming from the 'girl'. He tasted the freshness of her lips and the aroma of freshened breath. His lips parted slightly and his tongue tickled her ivories to be rewarded with her teeth being opened slightly. Feeling the gates to pleasure open, he continued his tongue attack and was rewarded by the feel of her moist tongue dueling with his. His hand and arm caressed the back of the girl and pulled her close to him. A shock coursed through him as he felt his body and that of the 'girl' flow together as he kissed her firmly on the lips. Fred felt his whole body glow as a mild shock swept through him. The 'girl' was pressing against his crotch with her leg and Fred felt a slight shiver run across her back as he embraced her. He thought he heard her whimper, quietly.

Mr. Jobe watched as the Public Display of Affection (PDA) was carried out. Had he not known better, he would have assumed that he and the class had been set up. But having had Jen Nelson in a previous class, he knew that was not that case although his topic was Gender Ambiguity during Adolescence. However Fred Brown was a new student. This was something different and would bear watching. Today however, he had a class to teach and called for an end to the PDA and resumption of scheduled class activities. "Mr. Brown...Mr. Brown! That's enough. Break it up, you two." Mr. Jobe looked at the faces of the students. As stated each was individually chosen for this class and had a unique mindset. He hoped that two boys kissing would not upset the balance of the class. "I asked you two to break it up. Mr. Brown...it's nice to see that you are comfortable with your homosexuality, I just hope that Jen feels the same."

Fred Brown had not heard the part about homosexuality. He smiled at the elfin face in front of him as he broke the kiss, his right hand caressing her bruised cheek. In that moment he fell into the 'Ring of Fire' that Johnny Cash sang about. 17 Year olds are not supposed to fall head over heels in love with anybody and not love at first sight. But it was the sight of the waif like creature that stole his heart and soul. At that moment Fred would willingly give up everything for this girl and to be her protector. A girl this DDG should not be bruised or tarnished in any way. As for the kiss, Fred could only imagine a second, more lingering one.

'What the hell was that?' Jen Nelson thought. 'I'm being attacked by this Gay Boy, shit.' Instead he said, "Listen, uh, buddy, I'm not GAY." He quickly sat down trying to hide his embarrassment. Truth was he liked the kiss. A lot. Jen had never kissed anyone other than his mother and other female family members till today. At 14 he was just not interested in the opposite sex. He talked to girls as needed, but didn't go out of his way to get to know any of them, neither was he curious about boys. He just wasn't interested. In point of fact, he never got 'hard' or never had a 'wet dream' something he heard about from the other boys and to hear them talk it was messy and hurt, too. During his last school Physical Exam, the doctor commented on his apparent lack of growth in that department and had asked some embarrassing questions. Questions Jen couldn't answer. At just 14 years old he had not dated and was considered a loner even by boys and girls in lower grades. His grades were good, A+, and he stayed out of trouble, as much as possible. At lunch, he sat by himself when he ate and reviewed for his afternoon classes or read. He wasn't picked on, much, but that could change and probably would.

Fred heard the titters of laughter from several members of the class. He turned red at the sound. "Uh, look, I, uh, I just needed to kiss a pretty girl, you know for the experiment. You really are a pretty girl. Oh, and I'm glad you're not gay." He could feel several pairs of eyes staring at him. He turned to take an empty seat and sat down. He tried to pay attention during the class, but his mind kept replaying the kiss. It had been so wonderful. God, that 'girl' could kiss. His mind was so tuned to the kiss that he did not hear the comments from the other students. Mutterings and snippets of conversations could barely be distinguished, but were there to a well trained ear.

"Too, bad the new guy's a fag." This from the big guy in the third row window. "He'll learn."

"Always wondered about Jen." Muttered a girl in a Cheer Leader uniform. “You go girl!”

"I guess another lesson's needed for smarty-pants" This from several.

"I think I need to change my panties." The Brunette in the second row said to her friend.

"Wish he'd kiss me like that." Second seat fourth row, she was a petite girl that spent her time reading Harlequin Romances.

"Hey, fag." whispered a boy by the window "Kiss this." He brandished a fist at Jen.

"Shit, I'm gonna get screwed over more, now." This from Jen. "Jerk!" All of this said under his breath as he tried to hide from the view of his classmates. He felt their eyes on him and desperately waited for the bell. At least he would be in an other class and this mess would be behind him for a while. Then there was Friday, maybe they'd just forget everything overnight. It could happen, right? Worst was going home. Somehow his mom would know what happened.

Fred Brown was waiting for the bell, too. He wanted to explain. How was he supposed to know who was popular who was not? Besides this 'girl' was DDG as far as he was concerned, and that kiss. He wanted more.

The door slammed loudly announcing the arrival of Jen, home from school at last. The days were getting cooler and shorter. The winter breaks would be here providing the only relief in the uphill battle of schooling. Jen, and all the other Jen's, couldn't wait for school to let out, but that was a year away at the least. Even with advanced placement classes, Jen had almost one more years to go, then College. Being in the 10th grade was not easy. Gangs, drugs, sex, violence, you name it. Jen knew that being kissed in class was a death knell for his social future. His only hope were the extension courses that he was taking. If they get approved by the school board, he could get his graduation certificate as early as age 15.

"Hi, Honey, how was your day?" This from Jen's mom, Shelly, as she greeted Jen. She hadn't even looked at him, so ritualistic was this greeting. Jen just grunted his usual reply and ran upstairs to his room. He pulled open a dresser drawer and extracted an article of clothing and headed for the bathroom. An additional item added to his end of school ritual. Several minutes later a refreshed Jen grabbed his after school items and pounded down the stairs into the kitchen, straight away for the fridge.

Mom's have two names for their children, Honey and Sweetie. It doesn't matter if the child is a boy or a girl, the names are the same. The only time a mom uses your Christian name, you know you are in trouble. Little kids get used to being called either Honey or Sweetie. By the time they get to be 10 or 11, boys want to be called something else. Especially if you are out in public with your parents. At this point it's equally notable that Dad's call their kids 'hey you' individually and 'you kids' as a group. It keeps things easy for them. So, I was called either Honey or Sweetie and learned to accept it. What made the matter worse was my size. I am small, only 4 feet 11 inches and weigh 97 pounds and because of the way I look, I get treated like a girl most of the time. At 14 years old I'm in the 10th Grade and I'm scared. The last two years at school had been hard, not the studies, the other kids. See, I missed a grade. I got to the first week of 4th Grade and I was pulled out and put into the 5th Grade. That made me the littlest kid there in size and age. Let me tell you, it's no fun missing a grade. Everyone gives you the evil eye. It also don't help if you are small, smart and have an eidetic memory. The big/normal kids just don't care. You are poaching in their turf and they let you know, fast. Somehow your books fall on the ground, you loose your homework, things like that. Then there's the not being picked at recess and when you are picked its cause the other kids want to give you the ball so they can jump on you and not get in trouble. So, your dopey teacher makes you join a team and you get creamed. You go home sore, maybe even black and blue. The only kids in the class that like you, won't talk to you. These were the kids that were picked on before you got there and now they are left alone. Some of them pick on you and the rest just pull back. It's brutal. There is one saving factor. If you're small and depending on your name, everyone thinks you are a girl. Luckily, Jen is one of them names. Heck, except for dresses, most school boys and girls dress alike until they get to Middle School. When viewed playing together, it's hard to tell the boys from the girls.

So, that's been my school life in a nut shell for the past years. Teased and tormented by classmates and physically abused when they can get away with it. Now, 1 or 2 more years at the most, unless I get my extra classes first, then I'm on to other things. Mom and Dad couldn't be more pleased. To hear them talk it's "Public school will help you get along with people your own age and learn valuable lessons in life. Lessons we, your parents, cannot teach you." It sounds like a press release for the 6 O’clock news. I just hope that I can get past that crap in the Sociology class. Course, I gotta admit, after the initial shock, the kiss was great. Maybe too great if my underpants were any indication.

Ever since Jen was small, he had been often mistaken for and treated like a girl. Part of the mistakes were due to his name, James Edgar Nelson, part were due to his looks. His initials formed the word JEN and it was his brother that gave him his nick-name and perpetuated its usage. Jen's brother also called Jen 'Sis' in public, partly because of his name and partly because of his looks and partly to embarrass his little brother and discourage Jen from trailing behind him. As for his looks, his hair was long, even for a girl and everything about it that looked so feminine, add fine features, a clear sweet high voice and lack of Adam's apple and he was often confused as a girl. And yes, he did try short hair, but it just grew out almost as fast as he could keep it cut. But it was his hands that told the tale. Jen's mother was strict about clean hands and at an early age, Jen learned to keep his hands clean and neat. He did get them dirty, but whenever in the house, his hands were the embodiment of personal hygiene. Long slender fingers leading to well shaped nails and well maintained cuticles were noted by store clerks and cashiers as Jen paid for purchases and received receipts. Several stock boys had fantasized, more that once, at having those graceful hands rub over a certain part of their anatomy and kissing those pretty lips. Had Jen known, this would have upset him greatly. He tolerated being mistaken as a girl, but didn't have to like it.

Whenever he left the safety of his house, he made sure to look as boyish as possible. Jen thought his boyish look was 'the bomb'; no one ever told him it was 'the dud'. People of all ages just smiled at his 'Tomboy' antics. Every person he met had similar thoughts 'She's gonna be a heart breaker' or 'She'll grow out of the Tomboy phase', or even more graphic. Jen never knew. Combine that with his academic prowess and he spelled trouble, meaning that he was the fall guy for gags and stunts, too often resulting in some form of physical humiliation for him. As far as his classmates knew, he was fair game for all, boys and girls. After today, the girls elevated him to the top of their list. The irony was that for the reasons he was elevated to the top of the girls list, several boys decided to just ignore him, while others were looking at him in a new light. Time would prove that ignoring Jen was the only way some of the boys could deal with their adolescent sexuality.

Examining the contents of the fridge, Jen selected a fruit drink and some cheese sticks. Armed with this bounty, he sat at the table and began his homework. His mom watched as he performed this act. She was glad to see Jen not put off this task. She wished her other son was more studious, but having one scholar was still one more than none. It's not that Walter was a bad student; he just didn't have the same aptitude as Jen. Still, Walter was in his last year and would be joining the work force soon enough. Jen had a bright academic future ahead of him, of that she was sure. Engrossed in watching her youngest, she was momentarily caught off guard by the arrival home of her oldest.

Walter bound in like he was perusing something only to be halted in his tracks. His mother smiled and said "Hello, Jack. Glad you're home. You boys do your homework and I'll start supper." Greeting given and instructions issued, she left the room to the boys. Jack put his books on the table as Jen continued to work.

Jack's given name is Walter Ira Nelson and he is 3 years older than Jen and one of Jen's difficulties in school. Dad wanted Jen to attend public school instead of private school, citing that Jack would be around to help out if Jen had any problems. What Dad didn't know was that Jack was one of the problems. Jack persisted in calling Jen 'Sis' at school and playing pranks on Jen. Now he is a Senior and will graduate in the spring. As to his future, well it's uncertain at this time. Although athletic, but not a gifted athlete, nor an honor student, choices will be few for him. That his younger brother, Jen, will go to a good college is a given and although he wants good things for his brother, he is still an older brother and comes with all the required foibles. He looked up at Jen and smirked.

"Uh, what's that, Wally?" Jen quipped. His brother didn't like the name 'Wally', especially after seeing those re-runs of the old TV series. Instead he liked to be called 'Jack'. It was cooler, because it was the nick name of a famous actor, the mean guy from the movie 'City Slickers', Jack Palance. It seemed that his first name is Walter, so of course any real boy would rather be called 'Jack' like the actor 'Jack Palance'.

Jack grimaced at the name and said "Oh, I met a new guy today. Interesting kid and did he have a wild story to tell. Wow!"

Jen looked down at his homework and replied "Probably another dork."

"Time will tell, Jen. Time will tell." Jack smiled and continued, "Anyhow, I invited him over Saturday. Thought we'd hang out, show him around and he could tell me bout his new girlfriend. Geesh, guys just got here and scored a major hottie." There was envy in his voice as this was said.

Not to leave an opening, Jen said "Why don't cha ask Mom if you can transfer to another school, then you'll be the new guy and maybe then you'll find a hot girl. NOT!"

Jack smiled at his brother, but said nothing. The boys got busy with their homework and getting ready for dinner.

Conversation during dinner was the usual, school, work, volunteering, and plans for the future. "So, Jen, Jack, anything new happen today?" Mom asked.

"Well, I met this new guy, Fred, and I invited him around Saturday. If that's ok." Walter started. He was looking at me and smiled. 'What was on his mind?' I thought.

Mom looked at me and asked if I had anything to share. "Um, no, nothing, boring day, another one tomorrow. The usual." I said.

Jack asked "Hey, anything happen in that Honors class you're taking?" He gave me a weird smile.

I took his bluff and replied, "Why shucks no, Wally, even Eddie was a good boy." I got my lick in.

"Mom, tell doofus here not to call me Wally."

Before mom could get a word in, I said "Well Wally, it is your name."

"You boy's behave. Why couldn't I have had at least one girl? Maybe we'd get some piece around here. I give up. Just finish your dinner and scrape your plates." Mom's attention turned to the meal on the table. I stuck my tongue out at Wally and smiled. He, of course, made a gesture at me. Mom ignored us for the rest of the meal.

Plates in the dishwasher, I went to my room and as I passed by Jack's room he called me inside. I took the offered seat and asked "What's up?"

He grinned and said "Why didn't you tell me about that fox in your Honor's class?"

"Like I know a fox. Duh!" I replied.

He looked at me and grinned, then continued "Fred said she was some kisser. He's wild about her and you don't even know a girl in your class. That's dumb, bro."

"Look, jerk, I go to class because I have to, not want to. Ok? Besides, most of those freaks are older and bigger than me and just barely tolerate me. So how would I know this supposed fox? Let alone talk to her. Right?"

Jack had to smile at my logic "Guess you're right. Maybe Fred’ll get her stuff tomorrow and we can like call her Saturday." He had a plan and I had to leave his room. I said goodnight and started out the door as he added "Uh, he did say that she had a bruise on her face." He chucked at that.

I wanted to scream. I needed a plan. There was a girl named Mary Jane that always picked on me. I knew her private number (It's a long story, maybe later.) and I could tell Fred I was her and give him that number. He'd get a lead and I'd get lost. When he saw me next, he'd know he'd been had and hopefully leave me alone. It should work. That's what I'd do. As for Saturday, I'd be up and be gone early, coming back late. I knew there was a thing at the Museum and then some time at the library to finish up some extra credit courses. I just had to graduate early. Maybe December.

Back in my bedroom, I put on clean pajamas and went to bed. As I drifted off, I could feel lips touch mine and a tongue gently probe my mouth. I allowed my mouth to open wider and felt my body respond to the kiss. Gosh, he smelled good and his skin was smooth, no beard or acne, his smile was terrific and those eyes. Arms held me firmly, caressing my back and supporting me at the same time. I felt safe in those arms and felt myself responding to the embrace. My nipples hardened and I felt a tingling in my lower tummy that spread over my body. I was breathing deeply, memorizing his scent, as heat overtook my body. It was the best feeling ever. Then I felt something warm, wet and sticky and set up in bed. "Darn, what happened?" I said out loud. I turned on the lamp and saw that the front of my pajamas was all wet. 'Did I pee myself? I wondered. I went to the bathroom and took off the wet stuff and saw some whitish stuff on my privates. I washed it off and put my dirty clothes in the hamper. Checking the clock, I saw it was close to the time to get up so I started my shower. The day had begun. Friday.

I tried to keep an even lower profile in the halls. Several kids pointed at me and to my shock, some even said "Hi." One girl even asked me to sit at her table during lunch. Now, I was scared. I went to my first class and tried to hide. Second class was, ok, except for the pop quiz and I was glad that it kept the other kids busy. I just filled out the test and handed it back in. I used the rest of the time to study. Third period was PE and I just went to the Library. The Coach and I had an agreement, I tutored his daughter and I got by on PE. It's not like it was a secret. All the kids and teachers knew. I tutored her in the Library because she didn't want to be seen near me out of school. Works for me. Then came History and it was the same. I had to take this lame course because it was required by the State. Next was lunch and I ignored the invite and sat by myself as usual. I saw a few kids looking at me and I tried to make myself look small. I just ignored the too loud comments.
“Little Miss Stuck-up.”
“Bitch.”
After lunch, I had an Advanced Studies class and that was ok. Next was the class I was dreading, Soc 101. I entered and took my seat. I tried to appear inconspicuous, but I guess I failed. I was just sitting low in my desk when the new kid, Fred came up to me.

"Hi." His face had a thousand watt smile.

"Hi." I barely replied barely above a whisper.

"Uh, I looked for you in the halls, but didn't see you. Can I walk you to your next class?" His eyes were eager. Lucky for me, Mr. Jobe called for everyone to take their seat. Unlucky for me, there was a vacancy next to me. Crud. I tried to make myself small again and un-noticeable. It didn't work. A few guys threw paper at me and even some of the girls could be heard making comments. The one that scared me most was "What's she got that I ain't got?" I was sure I heard a pretty brunette in the next row say that. I hope she was talking about some girl, but the way she saw looking at me made me worry. Little did I know, it was gonna get worse. I just watched the clock for the bell. It rang and I sprang out of my seat and headed for the door. I was caught by the brunette, Paula, and her friends and pulled into the girls’ restroom.

"Listen, Bitch. I want that boy and I aim to get him. Got it?" Paula pushed me against the wall and was poking her finger in my chest. "God, look at you, you're pathetic. What does he see in you anyway, no make-up, flat chested, (She hooked her finger in my shirt and pulled the edge down) well, barely speed bumps, not even a training bra under there." Paula moved her finger across my chest. "You flat chested bitch, leave him alone, got it? Just stay in yer damned books and don't come out till school's over or you will be." I could only nod 'Yes'. She smiled then said "Get out of my sight." I ran for the door as the girl and her friends laughed. I made it to my Physics class barely on time. 'Come on bell!' I mentally pleaded.

I wasn't listening to the teacher and he noticed by saying "Jen, I asked what is the Ideal Gas Law governing the use of gases in a pressurized environment. Please pay attention and give us the answer."

Red faced I said "Uh, Boyles Law and the formula is P1 at V1 equals P2 at V2, For a fixed amount of an ideal gas kept at a fixed temperature, P [pressure] and V [volume] are inversely proportional (while one increases, the other decreases)

The teacher smiled and continued "Now can anyone tell us some practical applications of Boyles Law?" He surveyed the class as I zoned out again. This was another lame class. The teacher had actually fought to keep me out of his class. He cited my age and immaturity. When that did not work, he said that I'd never be able to get past the Math needed. He went so far as to petition the School Board in a Redress of Grievances. The School Board informed him that by my taking the class, it would allow the overall testing scores to remain at a higher level. I had been recruited to a private school nearby, but my parents thought that I was better off in public school. Also my brother was there to help me if I needed it.

"Come on bell."

"What was that, Jen?" I must have said that out loud and the teacher heard me. Crud. Quickly I said "Diving Bell."

The teacher smiled and said "Can Anyone else give me an example?" I slumped into my seat waiting for the bell. Finally, the bell did ring and I was for home.

Coming in the door I was greeted by Mom as usual. "How was your day, Honey?" Sometimes I think she didn't hear my reply.

"Oh, Ok, I guess." I headed for the fridge and a snack.

"Jen, Honey, don't eat too big of a snack, you're Dad's gonna take us out to dinner. He'll be here at six, sharp. Oh, and Wa..Jack's friend, Fred, is coming along, too."

I stopped what I was doing and turned to face Mom. "Uh, I thought that he was coming over tomorrow?"

"You're brother called earlier and asked if Fred could come over and spend the night, seems his parents have to do some stuff with their old house and this way Fred will be chaperoned. Jack went with Fred, after school, to help get the things he might need for the night and tomorrow. Oh and Dad said he has a surprise for you." Mom was smiling and I was in shock. This was not gonna work.

"Going to my room, Mom." I said as I was leaving the kitchen. Up in my room, I threw myself on my bed and wondered what the heck I was gonna do. 'Think, smarty pants'. I was looking around my room, when I caught sight of that hair dye I got for Halloween. I was gonna use a temporary dye to color my hair and go out as a Goth. I had the clothes, black pants, shirt and shoes, plus some magnetic earrings and jewelry. Mom put a stop to that and instead I went out as a Pirate, like Johnny Depp. Still, I had the stuff and thought 'Hmmm, maybe this would work.'

"Mom, where's that hair clipper set dad got?"

"Uh, in the downstairs utility closet. Why?"

"Just wondering."

I went to the utility room and found the clipper set and returned to my room. I thought about cutting my hair. I didn't want to but I didn't have a choice. If Fred saw me, he know who I was and I'd really be in trouble, to say nothing about Wally. I'd never hear the end of it. I picked up the clippers and plugged them in and turned them on.

"Just what do you think you're doing James Edgar Nelson. Turn those clipper off right this minute and put them down." Mom sounded angry and confused. Jen did as told and sagged against the bed, his head hung low. "You wanna tell me what you're trying to do?"

"I, uh, ..I, that is." Jen stopped. He raised his face to look at his mom and a tear fell from his eyes.

Seeing her youngest in such a state was tough on the loving mother and she closed the distance to her son and pulled him into an embrace. "Come on, Jen, tell Mom what's wrong. Why do you want to cut your hair off? And don't tell me you weren't because we both know the truth. Is this something your brother cooked up?" Hearing this made Jen sob quietly against his mother. "Come on, Honey, it can't be that bad. Can it?"

Jen wiped at the tears with the back of his hands and said "It's that boy Fred, he...."

"What's Jack's friend got to do with this? You don't even know him, do you?"

"Uh, it's, uh, he's, uh, in my Soc 101 Class and ..." Jen's voice trailed off.

"Come on, tell me." consoled his mother.

"He, uh, ...I can't say it."

"Sure you can, Honey, it's not that hard. Come on now, tell Mom all about it. Did he hurt you?"

Still crying, I told mom. "He kissed me."

"He what? Did you say Kissed you?" Mom asked.

I nodded my head 'Yes', then added "He thinks I'm a girl!" My sobbing had returned.

Mom was chuckling and said "Oh, not that. Well you are pretty. He must have great taste, huh?"

I looked up at her and she smiled, then I said "Yea, he does, taste good too." Mom saw the look in my eyes as I said that and I reddened causing her to chuckle more.

"Honey, I know it's personal and I'm not gonna get mad or anything, but are you, uh, ...you know?" She asked quietly almost not wanting the answer.

I had to think about it and then I looked at her and smiled "I don't think so, Mom. It was just different. He said I was a pretty girl after he kissed me and when he smiled at me I felt like a pretty girl, too. I'm just confused, that's all. Sometimes I just wish..." My voice trailed off.

Mom looked up and asked "Wish what, Jen? You said that sometimes you wished...wished what?

"Nothing, Mom, nothing." I answered, eyes downcast.

Mom smiled and said "Well, he got part right anyway, even for a boy, you are pretty. Now go wash your face and then you, young man, come see me in the kitchen and we'll talk some more over a nice cup of tea, well tea for me, something else for you.." She got up and left the room. I went to wash my face.

I went to the bathroom and washed up. As I was scrubbing my hands I looked at my reflection. I had that bruise on my left cheek from where that girl slapped me a week ago. Other than that I saw myself. Nothing fancy. Oh, well. I finished drying my hands and went down stairs. Mom had her tea and I got a glass of juice. We, each, sat and sipped hoping for a miracle, at least I was. "Honey, I've got an idea. Dad wants to take you to dinner, so we'll let Jack stay here with his new friend. That'll give us time to think and talk to your Dad. Jack won't mind ordering Pizza, he likes it anyway. Well, what do you think?" Mom smile up at me.

"Uh, Ok, sure. I'll stay in my room till dad gets here, then just go out to the car when it's time. If Jack has to go get the Pizza, it would be even better. Uh, does he know about dad wanting to go out to Dinner?"

"Yea Jen, I told him. He made the usual noises then told me about his new friend. It'll be ok." Again Mom smiled. Sometimes I thought her face would break.

Mom leaned forward and asked my quietly "Jen, upstairs you said 'Sometimes I just wish', wish what , Honey?"

I turned my head away, I couldn't look at her. Tears filled my eyes and I started bawling. I threw myself at mom said "I'm sorry, Mommy. I didn't mean it! I take it back. Please don't get mad at me and not love me." My breath was ragged and the tears were flowing down my face.

"Honey, Jen. Calm down, what are you talking about. Of course I love you. You're my baby." Mom was holding me as I cried.

"I didn't mean it. I love you, Mommy. I'm sorry, soooo sorry." I wailed.

Mom held me by my shoulders and said "Jen, stop it now. This instant. What on God's green earth are you talking about. Sorry for what?"

I tried to slow my breathing, but got the hic-ups and said "I (hic) I prayed that (hic) that God would change (hic) me, you (hic) know, so I wouldn't (hic) have to be a (hic) dumb boy anymore." (hic)

Mom looked at me and asked "Let me get this right, you asked God to make you a girl?"

I nodded 'Yes'

Mom smiled and said "Oh, Honey, what am I gonna do with you? I knew you were having problems, but are they really that bad?"

"I uh, (hic) thought th (hic) at the kids would (hic) like me (hic) better, if I was (hic) a girl." Mom just held me and rocked me in her lap.

The quiet deepened as Mom held me. My crying went from loud wails to softer noises with the occasional sniffle. Mom held me as I tried to calm down, finally saying "You know Jen, you would make a pretty girl. Maybe we should talk to dad about it. See what he thinks and maybe he can help, too." Good old optimistic Mom.

I sniffled and said "(Sniff) Do ya (sniff) really think (sniff) that dad needs to know? I don't want him (sniff) to get mad at me." Mom just held me and chuckled.

I don't know how long we sat like that. Mom was shaking my shoulder and said "Honey? Jen? Go on upstairs and clean up, put on some clean clothes so you can be ready for your daddy. Your brother's here and I tell him what we're doing tonight." As I ran upstairs to my room, I heard my brother introduce Fred to Mom.

I took a quick shower and changed clothes. Mom had set out a change for me. The usual underwear, small boy's bikini briefs, a pair of Tan pants (Khakis) and a pull-over shirt with a rounded collar, sox and shoes completed the outfit. I brushed my hair and stared at my reflection in the mirror. I could hear Jack talking to Fred about school and moving to our town. Then I heard Jack ask Fred the question. "Uh, Fred, like who's this hot chick, you keep talking about. Like do you got her name and number, even?" I was afraid to hear the answer and hurried back to my bedroom.

My mistake was falling and yelling in pain. I tripped over some books and hit my head against my bed frame. I cut my head on the sharp corner and was bleeding all over. Hey, I didn't know that head wounds bleed a lot. I thought I was dying. I thought I heard someone say "That's just Jen doing something dumb again. Don't worry, long as the connecting door is closed, you won't have to see 'em."

Mom came charging up stairs and into my room. She stopped when she saw the blood and said "What happened, Honey?"

I told her what I did and she helped me up and to the bathroom. She cleaned my head and put a bandage on it then called Dad. He checked me over and suggested that I be taken to the Hospital ED. I had to change my shirt before Mom would let me go. Dad carried me downstairs and out to the Van. Mom sat in the back holding me as dad drove to the Hospital. At the ED, I was signed in and we sat and waited. Finally after about an hour, we were taken to a small cubicle and someone took off the homemade bandage and looked at my cut. It hurt! The examiner gave Mom a piece of paper and we went to the Radiology Department to wait some more. My name was called and I went with a girl to a different room. She told me to sit on the table and began fussing with some stuff. She did this for a few minutes, then turned to me and asked "Hon, you're not pregnant are you?"

I turned red and said "Uh, I'm a boy."

It was her turn to turn red and she said "Well, you got me. I'd a never known. You look so perfect, as a girl I mean. Sorry."

"That's ok, lotsa people think I'm a girl. Don't know why." She raised her eyebrows at that.

"Ok, put your head here, hold it, don't move and..." she pressed a button and a beep sounded, "Ok, you can move. Turn facing this way, don't move, hold it." another beep sounded. "Good, let's just check them and that'll be it. Any questions?" She was smiling as she said this.

I lowered my head and quietly asked "Uh, why did you think I was a girl?"

She walked over to me and raised my chin with her hand. "Look, I didn't mean nothing. It's just that you are so petite and everything. You carry yourself like a girl and even talk and sound like a girl. Now let me ask you, how old are you?"

"Fourteen."

"Gotta girl friend?"

"No."

"Want one?"

"I don't know."

"Ever been kissed?"

I turned bright red at this and she asked "Like it?" I nodded my head 'Yes'. Again she continued "Did she?"

"Uh, ah, I, ah.." I stammered.

"Come on, out with it, did she like it?"

Again I reddened and turned away from her. She let out a gasp and said "It was a boy, wasn't it? Are you Gay?"

I said "No, I’m not Gay and yes I liked it, but he thought I was a girl. He called me pretty." I wondered why I was telling her this.

She held my hand and said "We need to talk." She wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to me saying "Call me. Please. It's important." She picked up the 'head shots' and we went back to the waiting room. The ‘films’ were handed to my dad and we went back to the cubicle in the ED. The examiner put them over a lighted box and then turned back to us. “Just a bad laceration, uh cut, a couple of staples and you’ll be right as rain, well after the staples are removed, that is. Now lay down on the table and I’ll get the stapler.” The examiner smiled and left the cubicle to be back quickly. “Hold still.” The stapler made a click and then there was another click. A large band-aid was placed over the staples and I was told I cold go. My parents were give some instructions and we headed home.

Mom said to stop on the way home to get something to eat and dad obeyed. At home, I went to my room and got ready for bed. I had just finished brushing my teeth when mom came in with some pills for me, Tylenol. I took the pills and started to lie down, but mom pulled off my shirt and pants. She handed me a t-shirt and I pulled it over my head, with help from mom. I lay back on the pillow and went to sleep.

Mom was sitting by my bed when I woke up. I could see the clock and it was about 11:30 PM. I didn't want to wake her, so I was careful walking to the bathroom. I was a little dizzy and had to sit to pee. I stood up and pulled up my underpants and flushed, then washed my hands. As I was leaving the room, the connecting door opened. I didn't even hesitate, I scrambled for my bed. I knew if my brother saw me like this, he'd pick on me. He always did whenever he saw my underwear. He called them 'girl's panties' and said that Mom bought them for me because I was really a girl, not like him. He wore those big boxer style things. I went back to bed, my head hurt and I was still dizzy. I didn't know that the eyes following me belonged to Fred. I went back to sleep.

Fred, too, finished up in the bathroom and went back into Jack's room. Jack was leaning against the side of his bed a game controller in his hand. He turned to Fred and said "Yo, your turn. Beat that." Fred took his controller and moved his figure in a series of leaps and loops and crazy moves on the screen. Seeing his score beaten, Jack continued "You wanna do more or call it?"

Fred looked around and said "What else you got?"

Jack pointed to the shelf and said "Take a look, you pick."

Fred got off the floor and went to the shelf. There was a wide assortment of games amid the usual stuff. There was also a picture of Jack with a girl. Fred picked up the pic and turned on the nearby lamp. In the picture was Jack and a pretty girl, the same girl Fred had kissed, standing in front of a cabin. Wow, his new friend knew the girl of his dreams. He had to play it cool and not spook Jack. They might be going steady or something. "Umm, Jack, who's the chick?" He pointed to the picture.

Jack smiled. There was no chick, but instead said to Fred "Oh, you mean Jen?"

“Jen?” asked Fred.
"Yea, my doofus brother.”

“Huh, brother, looks like a chick to me.” Fred stated.

Jack just shook his dead and said “Yea, people always say that ‘bout him. Does kinda look like a girl though. Heck even I call him “Sis”, gets him real mad, too.” Jack smiled. Jack figured if Fred would go along with it, then he'd play a joke on his brother, maybe his biggest ever, then pointing with his arm raised and pointing behind him, he said "Next room, probably asleep. Took a nose dive earlier and got an owie. Mom's babying 'im as usual, Why?"

Fred had to think fast, but he was tired and lamely said "Just curious, didn't know you had sibs." Fred hoped that would work, but Jack didn't say anything else about the picture and he put it back. "Hey, I don't see anything I wanna play. Guess I'll hit the sack, kinda tired." He folded on the floor in a pile of blankets and watched as Jack hit the sheets. Soon only the sound of breathing was heard in the room as both boys fell asleep smiling.

Fred rolled over and groaned. He opened his eyes and looked around, not recognizing his whereabouts. Then hearing snores, he remembered Jack's house. He was awake and had to pee. Out of the blankets, he stood and headed for the bathroom. There was a night light that provided enough illumination for this tie of the day, err morning. He washed his hands and looked around. The other door was ajar and he crept over to it and peeked in to the room on the other side. He could make out a shape on the bed and see it move slightly.

He accidentally pushed open the door wider and looked in. Just the shape in the bed, no one else. He listened for a moment the turned to go back to sleep when he heard "I'm sorry, Mommy. I didn't mean it! I take it back. Please don't get mad at me." followed by the sound of crying. Now Fred was torn. If this was a boy like Jack said about the kid in the picture and he had his doubts then he needed to play it off. On the other hand if it really was the pretty girl he had kissed, he wanted so very much to go to her and comfort her. Still, did she even know he was here and if not, he could get in a lot of trouble. Hanging his head, Fred went back to his warm blankets fighting back his own tears.

The sun was well up when Jen awoke. First things first, to the bathroom and pee. Jen had to sit again as the dizziness made standing difficult. Jen looked at how he was dressed and back in his room pulled on a pair of jean shorts and flip-flops. Not even worrying about his hair he went downstairs. "Mom, Mom.” He called out to hear a response.

"In the kitchen Jen." the reply sounded cheery. "Thought you was gonna sleep the day away. Now that you're up, your dad wants to talk to you. He's in his study. Oh, get yourself something to eat and drink and take it in. It'll be ok."

With some apprehension Jen fixed a snack and drink then carried them into the study. He stopped at the door to catch his breath. "Uh, Dad, ah, you, uh, wanted to talk to me?"

“Jen, come on in and find a seat. Just wanna see how you’re doing and what’s going on lately.” Mr. Nelson sounded upbeat.
Jen and his dad talked for half an hour, each catching the other up on their lives. Finally Mr. Nelson said “Look, Jen, I know you’re not happy at public school and I was thinking that maybe I should pull you out. Whadda ya think? Maybe go to that private school? Huh?”

Jen looked at his dad and grimaced. “Uh, Daddy, is ,is, is this about what I said to Mommy? I’m sorry. I tole her I was sorry.” He was sobbing as he spoke.

“Oh, Jen, we love you and NO it’s not about what you said. Your Mom and I talked and we think that maybe you need to see a counselor or therapist, something. We knew you were having troubles and just hoped that you’d get over them. The problem is not yours, but one we, your Mom and I , created.”

“Ok, daddy, I’ll see a Shrink or whatever you think. I love you, too.”

I left the room feeling; I don’t know, guilty? I went to my room and finished my homework, worked on my Soc 101 paper and read. Dinner was take-out and I ate a little and then it was back to my room and sleep. Fred had left sometime during the day and I had not had to see or talk to him. Jack was being his usual self and Sunday was yet to come.

Light was shining in my eyes as I got out of bed; first the bathroom and a pee, then a shower. Sunday meant church when Dad was home and I dressed for the occasion. I wish I hadn’t gone to church. To think that a so-called man of God could spout such stuff was amazing. It was something that would be expected from a hard-line religion, but Episcopal, no. The condemnation I felt in that building was horrible. Ironic as it seems, my tears only earned me praise from some of the church goers. Praise that accompanied comments such as “That’s right son, them queers is going to Hell.” or “Don’t shed a tear for them kind of people. God don’t.” I wanted to shout at them and remind them that Mary Magdalene had been a Prostitute prior to meeting Jesus. I felt worse than ever. Luckily Sunday passed and Monday arrived.

I went to school as usual. What was not usual was Fred met me a few blocks from school and walked with me. “Uh, I, ah, that is” He began.

“Look, Fred, its ok. You made a mistake. Just let it go.”

“I can’t.” There was hurt in his eyes. “I can’t. I, ah, I” again he faltered.

“Just let it go. Go for a real girl. They all want you. Get a life.” I walked faster.

Fred caught up to me and grabbed my arm spinning me around “That’s just it; I talked to my mom Sunday and told her everything. You’re not going to believe this, but I love you. And another thing, you are a girl to me.”

I turned back around to hide my tears and walked towards school. Fred hurried to catch up and as he got by my side, he took my free hand in his. This time we both stopped and turned to face each other. I could feel the force of the connection between us and from the look on his face, he could too. I dropped my books and closed the gap between us as I turned up my face to his and kissed him. His response was immediate and passionate. Again I felt his tongue dance with my tongue. Some kids cheered and others made rude noises as we kissed. I heard a few “You go girl.” and “Get a room.” Unfortunately I felt the worst of the comments as we were shoved by some of the Jocks as they said “Listen Fags, not here, not now, not ever. Your days are numbered.” Then grabbing me by the arm, I was shook like a toy as the jock said “I tole you a while back, you fag, that someday your ass was gonna be mine. Me and my friends will be watching you.” He threw me down and sauntered off.

Fred started after them, but I put a hand on his arm for him to stop. I picked up my books and Fred got his and we continued to school. I felt like I was on top of the world. Maybe God does answer prayers. Most of the kids around had called me 'girl’ and I has kissed a boy, who thought I was a 'pretty girl', who knew. The day flew by and the week passed. Looking back I now realize that it was the inevitable 'Calm before the storm'. I was somewhat accepted as a Girl. Even the girl that had been mean to me seemed nicer. Wally, however was Wally and gave me crap about everything. I reminded him that he started the 'Girl' business and now it was too late for him to change is mind. Who'd believe him? Wally was nothing if not sincere. This time his joke backfired and I came out ahead, I thought.

Saturday I met Fred at the Mall and we went to a movie. There were not a lot of people in the theater and we had good seats. The movie started and we watched while loosely holding hands. We didn't see Paula and the Jock squad come in. They took seats around us, but not too close. It wasn't till the end of the movie that they made themselves known. We started for the exit and they blocked the way. We were shoved to one of the side exits and pushed out. The exit opened in a service alley, the kind with dumpsters and trash heaps in it. "Listen, Fag, I tole you that you were gonna get it." The lead Jock said

"Why don't you just leave us alone? We're not bothering you." Fred stated.

"The Fag bothers me, and you do to. Hanging out with a fag means that you gotta be one, right?" His cronies voiced their agreement.

Fred just said "She's not a Fag. She's a girl."

Paula stepped up and said "A girl, Huh?" she grabbed my shirt and ripped it off exposing my chest. "Not much girl there." She laughed.

The jocks laughed at this and replied "Well, if she is a girl, show us more."

"Huh, show what?" Fred asked. I was too scared to say anything.

"Her, you know, pussy. If she's a girl then show us."

"No, that’s not right. You outta your mind?"

"I'll show you outta my mind." saying that the lead jock hit Fred in the stomach, doubling him over, then turned to his squad and said "Take care of the punk, then we'll have some fun with the 'GIRL'."

The squad punched and kicked Fred, then tossed him in a dumpster. I was really afraid as they advanced on me. The lead jock grabbed my arm and twisted it behind my back, then said "Now, let's see 'Is it a girl or is it Memorex?' Ha, ha, ha."

Two of the squad grabbed my legs and another unfastened my pants and pulled them off. When the squad saw my underwear, they hesitated till Paula and the lead jock told them to finish the job. My underwear was pulled off and I was exposed from the waist down. One of the squad said "Sure ain't got much of a dick, must be a girl." The others laughed.

Paula looked at me and said "Not much of a girl there either." Again she laughed but this time she slapped my face. My cheek stung from the impact and she laughed. I spit at her and she slapped me again as two of the jock squad held me. She had a ring on her hand and she turned the setting around facing up on the palm and continued slapping my face. I was bloody and bruised, but she just kept hitting me. She only stopped when her hand hurt, then ordered one of the jock squad to take over for her. The jock was too eager and I felt a pain in my belly and I was gasping for breath.

I remember hearing Paula say "Fag want's a boyfriend, let's see if it can take it. Screw that bitch!" I tried to struggle.

I was quickly hit again. I fell down, that's when some one took my arms and I felt someone on each side of me raise me up. "Grab that box over there and hold the fag over it." Some one got the mentioned box and I was shoved face first across it as the squad held my hands and legs. The leader of the jocks said "Well, boys you decide who's next." I heard a zipper and felt something warm touch my butt.

"Hold the fag steady." came a harsh voice as my bottom was penetrated by the jock. He shoved his dick into my butt and pulled back only to shove again. It took a few shoves and some of his spit, but soon he was thrusting in and out of my bottom.

"Oww, that hurts." I cried out. The jock squad laughed and the thrusting continued. I heard "Nice and tight, no more virgin." Then he shot his load in my butt and pulled out. "Ok, boys, the fag's ready for you."

I felt another boy shove his dick in my butt and soon the warmth of semen filled my bottom. This was repeated by all the jocks, each high-fiving and congratulating each other for teaching me a lesson. My butt and belly was on fire and I felt something flowing down my legs. My voice was hoarse and tears were freely flowing down my face. Someone said "Sure is bleeding a lot." But no one seemed to care.

The jocks peed on me and tried to put their dicks in my mouth by holding my nose. That only worked for a little and as soon as I realized that a jock had shoved his dirty penis in my mouth, I bit it. I was slapped and hit to force my mouth open, but on one else tried that. The jock that I bit hit me a bunch of times, all the while cursing at me.

The movie had let out in the late afternoon and it was dark. The lights in the service alley were distant and few and the jocks took advantage of the low lighting to abuse me thoroughly. Before they left me laying on the ground, they pulled Fred from the dumpster and beat him unconscious, then they kicked me and left. I lay there my life leaking out of me.

If it hadn't been for someone empting the trash I might have bled to death. As it was I was hospitalized and lived for another two months. My insides had taken a beating and my vital organs, liver and kidneys, had suffered extensive damage. I write this knowing that I will die from my injuries, both physical and psychological.

The Principal put down the letter and wiped his eyes. Sobbing and sniffling could be heard throughout the assembly. “That’s all the letter said. It was simply signed Jen. Jen died at 8:47 AM, two weeks after writing this letter. She will be buried in a private ceremony, family only, and before you ask, the answer is YES. Jen is being buried as the girl she was. Anyone wishing to send flowers please be advised that the family would rather that you make a donation to the local chapter of the GLBT Association. Those of you that are called be school officials, please be prompt for your appointment. Those of you that are not called, please be courteous to the others. In closing I will add that Jen will be missed; at least by some of the staff. The prestige of having a child of Jens intelligence and maturity will not come again too soon. Bullying and petty violence has to stop before it leads to excessive violence as documented here; unfortunately it will not stop. Before you leave this room, look at the student sitting next to you and ask yourself one question; who’s next? You’re dismissed for the day.”

DDG - Slang abbreviation for Drop Dead Gorgeous; a beauty who could drive a man to distraction; a woman so beautiful, that he might be tempted to ignore his duties and responsibilities.

Boyle's law is one of several gas laws and a special case of the ideal gas law. Boyle's law describes the inversely proportional relationship between the absolute pressure and volume of a gas, if the temperature is kept constant within a closed system.
For a fixed amount of an ideal gas kept at a fixed temperature, P [pressure] and V [volume] are inversely proportional (while one increases, the other decreases)
( more specifically, if the volume is halved, the pressure doubles and vice versa )

Standing in front of a mail box is almost ironic. In this day of the instant message, texting friends and anybody else, e-mails and other multimedia message platforms actually taking the time and effort to write a hand written letter and actually mail it is indeed ironic. Yet, hand written letters have a place in society, a place that can never be overtaken by the transmission of a digital message. So there she was, standing in front of the mail box holding a sealed envelope in her hands. One hand holding onto the envelope, the other hand perched to open the slot allowing the sealed envelope to be deposited in the care and safety of the Postal Service.

Still for the lady, time seemed to stand still. People passing by were unaware of the acute shift in the temporal atmosphere surrounding her. As she moved her arm, extending it towards the waiting handle, her heart continued to beat. The beat however increased as her arm and hand neared the waiting handle. The handle felt no emotion. As an inanimate object it was beyond feeling, it simply did. Still as time slowed for the lady and people passing continued to not notice a change in the temporal relationship between the reaching arm and the mail box handle, memories flooded the lady causing a tear to form in her eyes.

Tears are a good thing. They allow the eye to be cleansed of impurities and other contaminates. As the television commercial says ‘we have a ***** for that’. The plethora of products available to assist with the natural lacrimation of the eye is wide and varied. Modern medicine in conjunction with modern science has seen to helping even the unfortunate person who may be unable to produce natural tears, yet require an eye wash closely approximating real tears. For the young lady in question, her ability to form natural tears was still intact. Her tears were forming due to the contents of the envelope clutched in her hand. Many a sleepless night was spent wrestling with her inner self and her soul. Regardless of the length of her struggle, an answer would be inevitable. Yea or Nay.

Her envelope contained a simple hand written note. Not even long enough to be considered a true letter. Her missive was not about inquiring after family or telling of adventures of errant children. Hers was a mere plea for acceptance and a shout for help.

Dearest Daddy,

For that is what you are. I have completed my journey and long to come home. I have sorely missed both you and mama, yet have stayed away these years due to our mutual hurt. I apologize again that I cannot be the son you so desperately wanted. That is a path which I am no longer able to wander on. I have changed my body to conform to my minds’ image of who and what I am.

Daddy, I did not do this to spite you. I did this so that I might live to see the future. My travels have taught me about kindness and forgiveness. I forgive you and your transgressions against me. I would like to hug you and mama one more time before you go into that final resting place.

I have met several like me and they too often speak of abuse and cruelty at the hands of loved ones. I have tried not to indict you in that fashion, just recalling that you were uneasy with having a son as I was.

My travels have shown that you are a kind and good hearted man. Yet even in an era of increased tolerance, there are some things that are intolerable. Being separated from family is one of these things.

I will close and leave the decision to you. If I am allowed home, you will know what to do and I will see the answer to my prayer.
Know in closing that I love you very much.

Your loving daughter

Time ticked on and the hand and arm extended towards the mail box handle reached its’ destination. The handle was grasped and then the journey of the other hand began, the hand holding the envelope. Would it make the journey and deposit the envelope or would that journey be halted as so many other journeys had been halted in the past?

As we go about our daily lives do we really see the world we live in, or do we pass by things left unseen? Look around. Smell the coffee before you take a drink, and watch a cloud. Without realizing it, you could see...

"Oh, you'll never guess what I saw today." happily chirped the mother.

"Then tell me." Was the reply.

"Oh no, guess!"

"Why do you always do this to me. You say somethng and then want me to guess. Duh! I don't read minds and least of all yours." This back-and-forth had been on going for a long time.

The recipient of this banter smiled and said "So, aren't you even going to try guessing?"

"No."

"Well, if you must know. I saw the most amazing thing today." This was accompanied by a big smile.

"Uh, the most amazing thing, huh, and just what was the most amazing thing?"

The answer came back, crypticaly "Just that, the most amazing thing."

""Ok, what was the most amazing thing?" Curiosity was exerting itself.

"The most amazing thing." The inflection made these words either a question or exclamation.

"Ahh, you start this then don't answer. You said you saw the most amazing thing and when I ask what that was, you just say nothing. This is frustrating. What's the most amazing thing?"

Again the smile followed by "The MOST AMAZING THING."

"Uh, I quit, you want me to guess and then play this silly game. So, you saw the most amazing thing, whatever that is, big deal."

"Hey, don't get upset with me. I said I saw the most amazing thing and I did. There!" the smile widened.

"I give up. When you get ready to tell me what you saw, let me know. I'll be in the other room."

The smile was still there and once more a reply was given, this time in a louder voice. "I said I saw the most amazing thing."

Authors note: What did you see today?

I am trying to answer a Writer's Challenge as sugested by Melanie E. Hopefully this will pique your imagination.
BrandieS.

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

I hate oversleeping and being late. I also hate others to be late. I tell them that they should just stay home. I mean after all, the work assignments have been given out. When a person shows up late, then every one grumbles about the inevitable changes. So, maybe I should take my own advice and not go in today. Yea, guess I will. Practice what you preach and all that.

So, now that I'm not going to work today, what'll I do, hmmmmmm. Oh, yea, haircut and I need new shoes. Haven't had a good cut for a couple of months and nows the time. As for the shoes, I guess one of the Marts will have the simple style I like. Breakfast first.

Making my way into the kitchen, I see I'm out of coffee. Dam. That's terrible. I'm a hardcore Caffiene junkie. Gotta get my fix. Ughhhh! Back to the bedroom to change and then off the the Coffee Shop.

Good weather, bright sky. Nice day for a pleasant walk. "Hey, watch out for that car!" I scream, but it's too late. The driver of the car ran up on the curb and hit the little boy on the bicycle. I was trying to console him when the Policeman arrived. "I saw what happened, Officer. That car just came up on the sidewalk and hit the kid on his bicycle, knocking the kid into the wall. I tried to talk to the kid, all he said was Mommy, then he died. Right in front of me. How horrible!" I was crying and I don't usually get emotional like this. But, God, a kid. The Officer thanked me for my atatement and I was told I could go. The officer had my name and number and said that if they, meaning the police, needed anything else, they'd call me. I staggered off on unsteady feet.

I got to the Coffee Shop and waited in line to place my order. And, yea, it actually is called the Coffee Shop. Not one of them buck places, you know. I waited for my order to be filled. So far my morning wasn't the highlight of my day. It could only get better, I mean, Right! My number was called and I retrieved my drink. I went to the table to fix it like I wanted. A little of this, a little of that, stir, then HAPPY TIME. So, maybe I get carried away with coffee, at least it's not crack or coke or some other shit. Coffee is 100% legal. I blew across the top of the cup and I smelled the enticing aroma. Then I raised the cup as I opened my mouth slightly to take that first taste of the aromatic brew. Closer to my lips the cup edge came as my anticipation increased. Finally the cup and my lips were together in that moment when everything is just perfect and I tasted my first sip of the day. Yuck, Pfew, Uggh. NO GOOD, this coffer tasted like crap. I was so suprised by the taste that I let the cup slip out of my hand and it splattered all over the floor. That can come to no good as I saw the look of the patrons and the staff. I make weak appologies and left sans nectar of the gods. My morning was off to a wonderful start. Think God was trying to tell me something?

I just aimed my feet down the sidewalk. So far today I was a few strokes behind and I didn't think I was gonna make par. Oh, well, keep walking. I found a Mart and went in. I wandered around, looking at this and that. I was looking at a pair of pants when I noticed someone looking at me. Some guy I don't know. Maybe he was waiting for me to put the pants back cause he wanted to buy them. I put them back, I was just looking. I went to a different part of the store. I saw that shoes were on sale, buy one pair, get second pair half off. The ones I usually wore were covered by the sale so I grabbed two pair in my size. I made for the register to pay. Near the register, I was bumped by the person I saw earlier in the clothing section. We both said excuse me and apologized for running into each other. I picked up my shoe boxes and continued to the register. I paid and picked up my bag to leave the store.

Outside the store, I stopped for a moment and to my suprise, a police officer stepped up to me and said, "You are under arrest for Larceny." He continued with the rest of the Miranda rights. I must have looked silly standing there with my mouth open and no sound coming out. The officer just used his shoulder radio to request a squad car. I was still speechless and waited as the officer opened the back door and told me to get in. He had already put handcuffs on my wrist.

The officer driving smiled and drove me to the jail. I was helped out of the squad car and taken thru a small door into a room with mirrors. I was told to sit in a chair at the table and the handcuffs were taken off. The officer that escorted me said someone would be here in a few minutes to talk to me and tell me what was what. I just nodded my head and he left.

A while later, a female officer came into the room and introduced herself. She said that she was going to search me and if necassary do a cavity search. She said that if I just surendered the item I stole, it would be a lot better. I was confused and confessed my innocence. She smiled and said, "Have it your way."

She stood and opened the door then motioned for me to accompany her, took me to another room. She told me to take off all my clothes. She was smiling as I unbuttoned my shirt. Then her smile turned to a frown as I took it off. I kicked off my shoes and infastened my pants. I steped out of my pants and she frowned more. Then, taking a deep breath, I hooked my thumbs into the waistband of my underwear and pushed them down. I was bright red with embarassment. She let out an audible gasp, then said, "You're not a girl. We got the wrong one. Shit." I was having a very bad day.