A Birthday Present

by shalimar

“Thank you for calling the Little Kids’ Kamp, Lisa speaking. How may I help you?”

Lisa was in a small call center for the Little Kids’ Kamp that the owners could magically transform those who wished to live life as a child one more time. Some came for only a day or two, while others stayed a week or so, and some stayed for months. A few even arranged to stay that way and finally grow up all over again after they left.

The “Kamp” as they called it was Jenna’s brainchild. At the time she’d first thought of it, she and her sisters didn’t have the magic to do anything about it, but one day her sister Shelly met the SRU Wizard at the old Penn Station entrance to the tunnel to the Avenue of the Americas in New York City. When he offered to sell her the Mirror of Change, and she realized that it could make the dream come true, she snapped it up. The mirror has the power to change people into what they need to be in their heart.

She had been with Maggie and Baruchah that day, and she asked the Wiz to help make Jenna and her other virtual sisters into her real sisters. She also requested that the virtual family members that wished to be little girls be the real life children of their once just virtual mothers.

When the women and girls were at the Central Park Playground, Shelly suggested to her sisters that they could now do Jenna’s Little Girl Enterprise as a camp. Her idea could be accomplished using the magic they now possessed. Jenna and the others readily agreed. Over the next few days, the now large family of brothers, sisters, cousins and spouses discussed the possibilities. They decided to make the camp for both girls and boys.

Eventually, by using some of their other magic to help other people that had a need, they became the owners of the camp complex. Many of the people they helped paid a lot of money to have their needs fulfilled, but they also did some charity work as a matter of course.

The property consisted of more than ten thousand acres between the interstate and the old US route 1. The train tracks also ran along its borders. They paid to restore an old abandoned station along one of the busiest railroad corridors in the country and made it a common stop. About two thousand acres of the land was turned into a regional mall. Another three thousand became an amusement park that rivaled in size and quality, of the big ones.

On the old US highway were two, usually crowded family restaurants and another one catering to live music and dancing in the evenings. Across the highway in addition, there were Shelly’s soup factory called Bubamyacin, Prudence’s Hugglebugs Factory and Research Center, Jenna’s Woobee Blanket and Tent Mfg, and Pleiades Resources.

Sisters Medical Center was run by the sisters who were doctors, Gina, Kimmie and their cousin, Misty, while Judy and her husband operated the Kamp Veterinary Hospital and Dog Grooming School.

These and other businesses provided enough money for the women to operate the camps at a meager profit in the best of times. About another thousand acres each was set aside for the two camps, one for boys and one for girls. Between them was a thousand acre lake that provided swimming for the children, and water for the park water rides. The remainder was the breeding grounds and pasture for the unicorns and other formally imaginary animals. A stipend to a few zoos, helped pay for the care and breeding of these rare animals.

“I want to give my husband a birthday present,” came the response from the phone. “How much would it cost for a month?”

“Is that with you, or would he be coming alone?”

“With me,” was the answer.

“The basic package including your room and board is $100 per person plus tax. This includes the child’s clothes, dining in the cafeteria or your room, use of all the equipment, the unicorn rides and the medical facilities. The magic to change your husband will be another $100 for each direction. If you want a minor change, it will be $50 if permanent, and $100 if temporary. Uses of the amusement park or eating at one of our restaurants are extra. You may pay for some of the extras now or when you need to use them. We take all the major credit cards.”

“I can’t afford that much.”

“Let me put you on hold and get my supervisor,” Lisa told the woman. “Maybe she could do something for you.”

Lisa knew that for her, this was a “no lose” situation. If the woman received a break from the owners then she would still get her full commission, but if the woman was just trying to get a bargain without needing it then she would pay a premium surcharge for her chutzpah. Most of that premium would go to Lisa as a bonus.

Prudence was on charity duty that day. Although Prue hated the supervision of the call center, she loved giving charity. By talking to the woman on the other end of the line she would be able to determine what this woman needed, and charge accordingly. The charge might even be as low as zero. “Hello, I am Prudence, one of the owners. How can I help you?”

As the woman asked for a break and gave her the reason for it, Prue was able to establish a gentle mind probe through the phone, giving her the information she needed. She found out that this woman had saved every penny she could over a year for this vacation, yet she had less than half the money needed for it. She loved her husband so much that she needed to indulge him with his only fantasy. Prue was also in touch with their love for each other.

“My husband needs to be a little girl for a while. I was hoping to give him a month this way, but I can’t afford the prices you are asking. Is there anything you can do for us?”

“How about $900 for the full package for the month, and we will absorb the tax? That should leave you with enough money that you can do a few extras while you are here. We will accommodate you for the full month. Oh, there is one additional bonus. We allow no smoking or drug abuse on the property, so if either of you do use anything, you will have no need for that substance during and after your stay.”

“How can I thank you?” the woman asked.

“Believe it or not, your joy will be our reward,” Prue answered. “I’m going to give you back to Lisa and she’ll finish the arranging everything.”

“Will I see you there? I want to thank you in person.”

“I am one of the owners, among with my sisters, so I help run everything. We even share taking care of our children.”

When Lisa got back on the line she asked the woman, “When would you like to be here?”

“I would like us to be there July 1 through July 31.”

“How old would you and your husband wish to be?”

“He would like to be a five-year-old girl. I’ll remain the same. ”

“May I talk to him to confirm the transformation?”

“This is supposed to be a surprise,” the lady said. “All he knows is that we are going to spend a month in the country together, but I know he needs this. We’ve been married for six years and have no children and he has told me many times about his need to be a little girl so this is my special present to him.”

“You must love him a lot,” Lisa noted.

“I’d do anything for him.”

“I hope to love a man like that some day,” Lisa mused before getting down to business. “The reservations are conditional upon his agreeing to the terms when you get here. Any changes will be accommodated. If he refuses then we will refund your money.”

The final arrangements were made and Mrs. Gayle Hughes’s credit card was accepted. When Mike Hughes came home that night he told that their vacation had been arranged, but just what they would be doing, was still a mystery.

On July 1, still not knowing exactly where they were going, he drove the three hundred miles on the interstate to the mall exit, where they switched drivers. When they saw the “Little Kids’ Kamp” sign, Mike asked Gayle to pull over. When she did he kissed her on the cheek. They drove to the main building and parked.

“Just take out my suitcase, dear,” Gayle told him. “Your clothes will be a little different in a few minutes.”

When they walked into the building they saw a small crowd of men, and women. The Hughes were told that their wait would be less then ten minutes and just wait for their names to be called. As they waited they noticed that a lot more adults went into the rooms marked private than came out and most of the adults who came out were with children. Although often, one of those that went in was the same as one of those who came out, that was not always the case. A man would go in and a woman would come out, or a boy, or a girl or a slightly different man might reappear. The same happened with the women when they came out. One or two women were the same, although most were younger, and had slightly different looks. Most of the time there was an adult with a child in tow. Sometimes the child was a teen who followed the mage, or witch, for lack of a better term.

One of the young witches working there was humming, although Mike couldn’t make out the tune so he watched her as she took care of business. She had unbelievable breast length hair, whose color went from platinum to raven and red to orange, with every color in between. Somehow it was distributed in a way that had no streaks and seemed to create highlights. She was wearing a mint t-shirt with a flower design, and a Kelly green A line skirt that was about an inch above her knees. Her sneakers were also green.

Mike didn’t think that she could possibly be out of her teens. Around her neck was a small gold heart with a heart shaped hole in it. On her wrist was a charm bracelet with a pair of insects hugging each other. Hypnotized by her beauty, he watched her and listened to her song. Gradually he believed that she was humming a made up tune.

Other women and men took the people who were waiting to the changing rooms. Both the men and the women had the same necklace and the women also wore the bracelet. Most of the workers seemed to have a family resemblance.

Eventually the young woman who was humming called out their names, “Michael and Gayle Hughes?”

Mike raised his hand.

“Hi, my name is Shelly, and I am one of the owners of this camp, Mike, I see that you haven’t approved the change yet. That is necessary for us to change you, because everything here is voluntary. And I do mean voluntary. If you say no, we don’t do anything. According to Gayle you would like to be a five-year-old girl.”

“That will be Ok,” he replied.

“Just OK?” Shelly asked. “We can modify any of the changes.”

“I think I would prefer to be four.”

“No problem,” Shelly noted the change on the form. “Are there any other changes?”

“Everything else is fine.”

“Mike, please read the conditions, and make sure the changes are what you want. If everything is okay, sign here.”

“Gayle, do you want any changes for yourself? They will be included in the price.”

“No, I like the way I am.”

“Here is the legal disclaimer our lawyers insist upon. Gayle, you will be her mother, physically and legal guardian for the month,” Shelly explained while Mike finished reading the contract. She is therefore your responsibility. You may temporarily delegate that responsibility, but ultimately that responsibility is yours.”

When he signed, Shelly asked them, “Could you both follow me?”

Shelly was humming again as they walked into a room that was bare except for a few chairs, a chest of drawers and a mirror. Shelly asked them to sit in two of the chairs that faced her.

“Now Mike, I want you to gently close your eyes,” Shelly told him.

“No magic words?” asked Gayle.

“Open your eyes, Mike. Do you want magic words?” Shelly questioned with a gleam in her eye.

“If you don’t mind,” Mike answered.

“Would you prefer Abracadabra or Bibity Bobity Boop?”

“Bibity Bobity Boop.”

“Do you want me to use a wand?”

“Yep!”

“OK,” Shelly giggled as she pulled out a wand out of thin air. “Are you ready now?”

“Very much,” he breathlessly replied.

“Then close your eyes again.”

When he did Shelly said, “Bibity Bobity Boop!”

Gayle gave a gasp as she saw her husband shrink. His hair grew longer and his clothes changed into those appropriate for a girl of four. His face became smooth and angelic. The color of his hair also changed. As Gayle was a natural dirty blonde, and Mike’s hair had been red, his hair became strawberry. Mike felt a little discomfort as he changed.

“You may open your eyes now, Helen.”

“Mommy?” the new girl asked as she looked at his former wife.

“Yes, Helen?”

“I loves you,” she said as she climbed out of the chair and into her new mother’s arms.

“Shelly, why Helen?” asked Gayle as she cuddled Helen. “That is the name I wanted to use for our first daughter.”

“It is part of the magic,” Shelly replied. “That’s why I used it. Are you sure you don’t want any changes, Gayle?”

Gayle hesitated then replied, “Not really.”

“Are you sure?” Shelly asked, not convinced. “There will be no extra charge.”

“Maybe,” Gayle thought out loud. “Could I be closer to your age?”

“I don’t think so,” Shelly replied. “I’m nearly sixty.”

“You look like you’re still a teen.”

“I always looked young for my age,” Shelly replied. “It is a family trait. When I age regressed to what is now twenty, I needed to carry my ID with me at all times.”

“I see,” Gayle said, thinking. “Twenty-one would be nice. I’d be just legal in all areas.”

“Here, read and sign,” Shelly said as she gave Gayle a paper that hadn’t been in the room until she pulled it out of thin air. “When you finish give me the paper then close your eyes.”

When Gayle finished Shelly asked, “Do you want magic words also?”

“No,” Gayle responded. “It is not that important.”

“Then close your eyes.”

“OK,” Gayle said as she followed Shelly’s instructions.

In a few seconds, Helen exclaimed, “Mommy you look even prettier! I have da best mommy in da whole world.”

Shelly handed Gayle a glass slipper that looked like it would fit Helen.

“I have a weird sense of humor, Gayle, even my sisters say so,” Shelly explained. “Like Cinderella you have a time limit. Granted, it is longer, but still you cannot stay this way, unless you come to us. The slipper will remind you of that.”

They walked out of the room and headed for Gayle and Helen’s living quarters for the month. As the three walked to the four-bedroom suite that the Hughes would use, a mother and daughter were riding a unicorn towards them.

“Hi!” the other little girl said.

“Hi!” Helen replied.

“Are you a new girl?” asked the other girl.

“”Yeah,” Helen answered.

“It’s fun!” the other girl said. “Me an Mommy lives here.”

“Let me introduce each of you,” Shelly interrupted. “The young lady on the unicorn is my sister, Emma. With her is her daughter, Katlin, also known as Piper.” Turning her head to the others, “Walking with me are Gayle, and her daughter, Helen. They will be here a month. Piper and Helen are both four.”

“Dat’s a long time,” Piper said. “Yous be a real little girl by den. I likes ta play wid you, Helen.”

“I likes ta play wid you, Piper,” Helen replied.

“Wanta come ta a tea party?” Piper asked. “Mommy, cans she come ta da tea party?”

As Helen asked Gayle, “Mommy, cans I?” Emma told Piper, “It is up to her mother.”

“Let’s see if we have the time,” Gayle told Helen. Turning to Emma, she asked, “When is this tea party?”

“In about two hours,” Emma replied. “Shelly will show you where our place is, and we’ll see you then.”

When they got to their apartment for the month, Gayle wondered why there were two extra bedrooms. She figured that because they had been given a break, they would need to share for the month. Gayle decided she could accept that as a reasonable compromise. Gayle opened the closet doors in her bedroom and saw it already had clothes in it. She went to the room with kittens and angels on the walls and found clothes that looked like they would fit Helen.

An hour later Gayle started getting Helen ready for the tea party.

“Stand still while I brush your hair, Helen,” Gayle insisted.

”Got the wiggleies, now,” Helen explained.

“Then at least try to stay still,” Gayle requested.

“I am, mommy! I trys real hard!”

“I believe you, sweetie. Now that we’re finished, we’ll do your nails so you can look prettier at the party.”

“Wants dat bubble gum colored pink, mommy.”

“OK,”

After she finished her daughter’s nails, Gayle told Helen, “Keep your fingers apart and don’t touch anything while I get your dress for the party. I’ll tell you when they’re dry.”

“Yes, mommy,” Helen replied just before she put her forefinger in her mouth.

Gayle could only shake her head as she got Helen’s dress out of the closet. As she looked at the small garment, she wondered how anyone could fit into something that tiny, until she realized that Helen would need to grow into the dress, instead.

After checking Helen’s fingers to see if the polish had dried, Gayle put her into the dress, then tied its bow in the back. Then she asked Helen to turn, so she could admire her daughter’s looks. Satisfied, she asked Helen to sit at her vanity so she could put on a little makeup, including a bubble gum lipstick.

After Gayle fixed Helen’s hair again, Gayle took her new daughter to the apartment in the next building, where that Emma, her husband and child lived.

Emma opened the door and introduced the mother and daughter to Allie and Vicky and their mother, Kimmie, Cathy and her mother, Jenna, Sarah and her mother Prudence, and the twins, Maggie and Baruchah while explaining that the three mothers were also Emma’s sisters.

While Helen ran over and talked to Piper and her cousins, Gayle asked, “Where is the twin’s mother?”

”My sister, Shelly, is working in the Intake Room today,” Emma explained. “So I’m taking care of two of her littlest ones today.

“She was the girl that changed my husband to Helen,” Gayle noted. “And, Prudence, thank you for the financial break.”

“Please call me Prue.”

Suddenly, Helen came crying to her mother, “All da odder girls have their unik corn babies wid dem and I gots no unik corn.”

As Gayle tried to console her child, Jenna told them, “Don’t worry, I’ll get her one.”

“Don’t bother,” Gayle replied as Jenna went to the coat closet and put her hand in. Jenna did a little magic to create a unicorn doll, and then took it down from the top shelf of the closet.

As she handed the doll to Helen, Jenna explained to Gayle, “It is part of the magic.”

Two hours later the girls finished their tea party and decided to go outside to play on the swing set and jungle gym in the yard behind Emma’s home. During that time both Helen and Gayle felt like they had met some wonderful friends. When Helen finally started to get tired, Gayle picked up her charge, put her on her shoulder, and took the child home so the girl could take a nap.

Awaking in time for dinner, Gayle quickly dressed Helen and took her to the cafeteria where they both ate. Afterward, Gayle let Helen watch cartoons until it was time for Helen to go to sleep for the night. As she got Helen ready for bed, Gayle asked her, “Do you want to go to the amusement park tomorrow?”

“Cans we mommy?” Helen responded, waking up a bit when she heard those words. “Cans we?”

“Yes, but you need to sleep now,” Gayle said as she sat in a rocking chair next to her daughter. “So I’ll read you a Strawberry Shortcake story.”

“Otays, mommy,” Helen replied as she leaned into her mother.

Gayle started reading. She showed Helen the pictures as she read. By the end of book Helen had fallen asleep. Gently Gayle got up and put the sleeping child in her bed and pulled the cover over her daughter. Gayle picked up the toys that Helen forgot to clean up from her busy day at playing. While she cleaned she thought. She wished there was a way that Helen could stay this way. She saw how happy Helen was and she knew that Helen should be Helen and not Mike. She loved Mike, but Gayle’s need for Helen was greater. She wished that there were a way that she could have both Helen and Mike, yet she knew she would have to choose and so would Mike. She was already thinking she should persuade him to stay this way.

In the morning Helen was jumping on Gayle and telling her to get up.

“What time is it?” asked Gayle with here eyes still closed.”

“Don’t know,” replied Helen. “Can’t read numbers no mores. Just know am wakie.”

Gayle turned towards the clock. As Helen was sitting on the small of Gayle’s tummy she squealed and giggled when Gayle turned and dumped the little girl on the bed.

“It’s six o’clock in the morning,” Gayle said to her daughter as she looked at her in the face. “You’re getting me up at six o’clock in the morning on a vacation, yet? You’re not supposed to do that to your mommy.”

Helen continued to giggle.

“Am wakie now!” Helen replied. “Want ta go ta da Amusy mint park.”

“It is not open this early,” Gayle replied as she pulled Helen closer to her. “It opens at ten.”

“Dat’s dis many?” Helen asked as she held up all her fingers on both hands except one of her thumbs.

“My big girl can count.” Gayle smiled.

“But you said it is six.” Helen said. “How many is six?”

“Hold up all your fingers in one hand.”

“Otays!” Helen replied as she held up her right hand with all the fingers showing.

“And one finger from your other hand.”

“Otays!” the child replied as she followed her mother’s instructions.

“That’s six,” noted Gayle. “Now how many fingers do you have down?”

“One, two three!”

“And the thumb?”

“Oh yeah, fours,” admitted Helen. “Fours hours? Dat’s a long time.”

“So let’s make it go faster,” Gayle said. “Snuggle up to mommy.”

“Cans Molly come too?”

“Yes, your doll may snuggle with us.”

Mother and daughter smiled as Helen and her doll snuggled up against her mother.

After a while as Gayle was drifting off to sleep, Helen asked, “Will I get titties as big as yours?”

“Would you like them?”

“When I grows up. Cans I have them?”

I don’t know,” Gayle replied. “You’re supposed to go back to being Mike in a few weeks.”

“If I stays then?”

“If you stay you will get them.”

Gayle hoped that Helen was thinking seriously about staying as Helen, at least as much as a child of four can think seriously.

When Gayle woke up she found Helen playing with Molly quietly in Gayle’s bed. Helen was combing the doll’s hair and talking to it.

Helen looked up to Gayle and said, “I like dis. Dis is da things dat I did nots do as a boy. I’s so happy.”

Gayle smiled at Helen then gave her a big hug.

“Getting hungry, mommy,” Helen said after a few minutes in that hug.

Gayle went to the kitchen of the suite and found some cereal in the cupboard and milk in the refrigerator. She made the cereal for Helen then took a quick shower before having breakfast herself. After she got Helen dressed so that they could go to the amusement park. The walk to the gate took about five minutes. After paying for them for the day they entered the park and found the kiddy rides. They were walking and deciding what rides to go on when Helen spotted a boy from their neighborhood at the roller coaster ride.

“Hi Bobby,” Helen said shyly.

“Hi, Helen,” Bobby said. “What ya doin here?”

“Wes at the camp next door and mommy took me to da amusy mint park today.”

“Dat your mommy?” Bobby asked as he pointed to Gayle.

“Yeah, what ya doin here?”

“Daddy took me here today.”

“Dat your daddy?” asked Helen.

“Yea, want to go on da roller coaster?”

“Yeah”

As the kids ran towards the little kids roller coaster line Bobby’s father said, “Hi, I’m Frank Romano, I’m Bobby’s dad.”

“Gayle Hughes.”

For some reason Gayle immediately felt comfortable talking to Frank.

“You look familiar,” Frank said. “And I don’t mean that to be a line. I seem to have met you before.”

“Helen knows Bobby, so I assume we have seen each other before when dropping off or picking up our children.”

It could be that,” Frank said. “But I have a feeling it is because of my work. I am a cop for the county.”

When Frank said, “cop” Gayle started to cry. Somehow she remembered the day Mike “died.” She had just finished using the last of the disposable diapers on Helen so Mike drove to a supermarket to get some more. Two hours later a policeman came to their door and told Gayle that a DUI had hit Mike’s car so hard that Mike probably died instantly. The policeman who came to the door to tell Gayle was Frank.

When Gayle told him why she was crying Frank held her hand and said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories.”

“It’s ok. You actually helped me get through those first few hours. I hope your wife understood.”

“She did,” he replied as he looked away. She was a wonderful woman.”

“Was?” Gayle asked as the children ran back to their parents.

“She died of breast cancer late last year,” Frank explained. “I miss her so much and so does Bobby. This trip is as much for me as it is for Bobby. We needed to get away and have fun.”

“Can we go on the Teacup?” asked the two breathless children.

Gayle looked at Frank who smiled at her and said, “Sure,” to the children.

“The two of them seem to be having fun together,” Frank noted as they got up to follow the children.

As they walked towards the teacup ride their hands touched briefly allowing them to hold each other’s hand. Gayle had some guilt because of Mike, but in this reality she knew Mike was already dead.

The rest of the morning and afternoon Frank and Gayle continued to get closer. They were having as much fun with each other as with their children. The casual observer would have assumed that he or she was watching a couple and their two small children. On the rapid river ride they were able to go on the front of the raft together. The plunge put spray into the front of the boat.

“I gots wets, mommy!” Gayle exclaimed.

“Me too!” Bobby said.

“It is a hot day, so you’ll be dry soon.”

“I’s hungry!” Bobby said.

“Let’s get you guys lunch, then,” Frank suggested.

Fortunately, one of the park restaurants was only a few hundred feet from the end of the ride. Frank bought chicken fingers for the children, a small hamburger for Gayle and a large one for himself.

Finally it was time to end the outing. Frank took Gayle and the children back to her apartment.

“I’d like to take you out tonight,” Frank suggested.

“The four of us?” she asked.

“If we could get babysitters I’d appreciate it.”

“I’ll see if we could do that.” Gayle said as she dialed the main office of the camp and made arrangements for Bobby and Helen to have a babysitter.

She was able to arrange a babysitter, Angela, Shelly’s eighteen-year-old daughter, and have Bobby sleep for the night in a separate room in Gayle’s apartment. Frank got ready in the forth bedroom while Gayle got ready in hers.

Frank and Gayle walked to Judy’s, a restaurant having lively music that is owned by the sisters. They had a nice dinner, listened to the music and danced. The romantic evening ended when they walked along the camp’s lake that the restaurant fronted. Finally they walked back to Gayle’s temporary apartment, holding hands, hugging and kissing. When they entered the babysitter was still up.

“They’re both asleep,” Angie told the parents as she started to walk out of the apartment.

“I want to check on her,” Gayle explained to Frank.

“And I him,” Frank added as he tried to give Angela some money which she refused. “Can we check on them together?”

They first check in on the sleeping angel that Helen became. They had to give her the unicorn that fell out of the bed before they left. Frank gently guided Gayle to the next bedroom where they put Bobby’s blanket back on him. They then got to the door of Gayle’s and they kissed with his tongue going into her mouth.

“Your bedroom is that way,” Gayle told him as she kissed her neck and tried to go down lower.

“Can’t we share our bed tonight?” he asked.

“Not tonight,” Gayle explained. “It is impossible. Do you know about the magic in this place?”

“Yeah,” Frank acknowledged. “Some people get changed.”

“Despite what you remember, Mike was changed into Helen. Helen would know what we would do tonight, and as a result so would Mike. I can’t hurt him that way. I love him too much. I can’t make any promises, but if Helen stays as Helen then we might share that bed or more. Until then the answer is ‘no’ even though I want to.”

“I’ll accept that for now,” Frank replied reluctantly as he walked to his bedroom.

In the morning Gayle made breakfast for the four. Frank suggested that they ride the unicorns.

“Would you kids like to ride?” she asked.

“Can we get our own unicorn?” asked Bobby.

“If it is safe,” Frank told him. “I’ll ask down at the barn.

“I can make a picnic basket for the four of us,” Gayle noted.

“Now, you kids wash up and get ready. I’ll be back in a few minutes with the unicorns.”

“Yeah!” the kids shouted.

They rode the unicorns around the lake and followed a path along a stream. At a clearing Frank a Gayle got off their unicorns and walked while the children ran up and down the hill. Gayle took out the picnic basket and made lunch. After their meal the rode back to the camp following the part of the lake they didn’t see before. Gayle remarked how beautiful the scenery was. In the evening Frank took Gayle and the kids to the family restaurant across the street from the camp.

The next day was a medieval day at the camp. It began with the girls riding to the fairgrounds on unicorns. The camp boys march into the main area of the Renaissance Fair carrying their Nerff swords. The boys shoot arrows at a target. They then have mock fights with the swords. The adults knew that the children would fight too hard for even wooden or plastic swords. While the boys fought the loud speaker had Frank Sinatra’s version of “Witchcraft.” Eventually the men running the camp had a choreographed fight that ended with five men standing. They congratulated each other then helped the other men up. The “blood” on the losers’ uniforms was the only evidence they had lost.

Suddenly in the sky was a spot that grew bigger that became a fire-breathing dragon. It flew low as the men of the camp tried to defend themselves from its flames and claws.

“It is a fake,” Bobby said as he hid behind his father.

“Still scared,” Helen nervously replied as she hid behind her mother.

“Come let’s go before anything happens,” Gayle told Frank.

“I think Bobby’s right but it seems so real,” Frank explained.

When the dragon was high in the air one of the men shot an arrow into the dragon’s belly. The dragon burst into thousands of tiny flowers as it fell to the ground. The parents and children clapped and cheered as the flowers fell.

“I told you the dragon was a fake,” Bobby proudly said to Helen.

“Still scared,” Helen explained.

“Bobby, I know there are no dragons,” Gayle admonished the boy. “And I know that the camp would not put on a show that was not safe for everyone. But everything seemed so real. I felt that I must protect Helen and you and also be protected.”

“And I felt that I needed to protect all three of you,” Frank added as his eyes met Gayle’s.

They gave each other a kiss. Unfortunately, Bobby and Helen saw the kiss out of the corner of their eyes.

“Mushy stuff,” Bobby said.

“Yeah, mushy stuff,” Helen agreed.

When the day was over, Frank asked, “Could we stay another day? I would like to take you to a movie tomorrow night.”

Gayle went to Helen and asked, “Would it be alright if Bobby and his daddy stayed another day?”

“Mike said it will be OK,” Helen replied.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Yes, mommy. Me Helen. Me like Bobby. Bobby’s fun for a boy. Me like Bobby’s daddy.”

“And if you become Mike again?”

“Mike not now. Me know Mike only from before.”

“Only from your memories?”

“Yeah, mommy. Want go movie wid Bobby.”

“Could we do that Frank? Go to the movies with the kids?”

“Yes, I’d like that. What about you, squirt? Want to go to the movies tomorrow?”

“Yeah, dad.”

The movie was perfect for the children who were bad in a way because they threw the popcorn. It let them out in time to have some time together before having dinner.

“Tomorrow is the last day of my vacation, “ Frank said to Gayle after they put the kids to bed. “I want to see you again.”

“It really depends on Helen. If she stays as Helen then I’d love to, but if Helen becomes Mike again, then definitely not. I’ll give you my phone number at home, just in case. Only if you remember the accident, call.”

“If I understand things correctly, if I don’t remember the accident then I won’t remember you.”

Gayle put her arms around Frank’s neck, wiggled her bottom and said, “I still had a good time with you. If we see each other again the way we want I’ll be able to give you something you want.”

“I’ll look forward to it.”

The rest of the vacation was filled with Helen playing especially with the other girls. Gayle realized how natural she seemed almost from the beginning. Considering how old Helen was she was more outgoing than Mike ever was. When she had the chance, Gayle tried to convince Helen to stay as a little girl. Only a small amount of her motivation was Frank. She saw Helen as happier and she realized that she was happier. Gayle saw only one conclusion, but it was still Helen and Mike’s decision. No way could she force Helen to stay as a little girl. The owners of the camp wouldn’t let that happen. So on July 30, Helen and Gayle were both nervous as they walked into the discharge center.

They were greeted by Betty who asked Helen, “Did you have fun?”

“The bestest,” the child said as they walked into the changing room. “But it is time to bes Mike again.”

“Don’t you want to stay as Helen?” asked Gayle.

“Yes, but I am Mike, and Mike has an obligation to you.”

“I’m asking that you remain this way.” Gayle told Helen.

“But you be single mother,” Helen replied. “I cans not let you be that. I hab ta take care of you.”

“I will always love you if you are Helen or Mike,” she explained. “If I had that choice I’d take both of you, but you are happier this way and I’m happy to be able to take care of you. And you gave me something this month I didn’t know I needed badly, a child to care for. Please stay this way.”

“I’ll help you make a child or two,” Helen insisted as she started to cry. “Money?”

“You don’t know it, but Mike had insurance when he died,” Gayle told her. “The house is paid for. I have enough left over for us to live on until you go to school then I can get a part time job. Trust me it could work out.”

Wondering why the change was taking so long, Holly popped her head in and asked, ”Is there a problem? Anything I can do to help?”

“The child wants to go back to being the adult and the parent wants them to stay the way they are now. I’m just waiting for them to make a final decision. Sis, be a dear and get me a time line for Helen Hughes and one for Mike Hughes,” Betty asked. “Here are their birth dates.”

“Helen,” Betty continued after Holly left. “If there were no other factors except you own needs how would you choose?”

“Stay,” Helen replied without hesitation.

“Then please stay,” asked Gayle. “I love you either way, Helen, but I think it would be better for you, for me, for Frank and for Bobby.”

Holly came in and gave Betty the print outs which Betty read.

“I think it is most important that you stay as Helen,” Betty said after she finished reading.

“Why?”

“I’m not allowed to give you details, but things are better this way.”

“Cans you give me hint?”

“The future is changed for the better,” Betty conceded. “That’s all I can say.”

“I could still change the future!”

“Not this way.”

“Is it that important?”

“Very important, but it is still your decision.”

“Will I be happy?”

“I think so,” Betty replied.

Helen thought for about two minutes. For Gayle it was the longest two minutes in her life.

“I’s stay,” Helen finally told them.

“So what was in the timeline report that was so important that you practically insisted Helen accept?” asked Holly as Gayle took her daughter home.

“In this new timeline Mike dies because of a DUI hitting him when he was getting Pampers for Helen about three and a half years ago.” Betty told her sister-in-law.

“But that’s bad,” Holly noted.

“There’s more,” Betty continued. “The DUI served his jail term and when he got out he started an organization to stop DUI’s before they did any damage. If the DUI didn’t hit Mike the DUI would have killed a family of five the next year. The DUI would eventually be killed in prison.”

“I don’t like trading a life for a life,” Holly said. “Even like this. It is not right.”

“Neither do I,” Betty agreed. “But Frank was also the police officer that told Gayle. He and his wife, Rosa, helped Gayle through her mourning period. Rosa and Gayle became fast friends. Then Rosa found out that she had breast cancer and Gayle helped with the caring for Rosa especially at the end just before Rosa died. Rosa told Frank and Gayle that she expected them to marry after he morns his loss of Rosa. She even put Gayle’s hand in Frank’s a few hours before she died to show her approval. That is why Gayle was here, to decide if she would accept being Frank’s wife. She now realizes that she could not replace Rosa, nor could he ever replace Mike, but she also knows that there is still a lot of room in each of their hearts for each other and when Gayle and Helen get back home Gayle will tell him that they will get married.

“That’s great!” Holly exclaimed as she hugged her sister-in-law.

“Hey I’m not finished,” Betty interrupted. “If Gayle and Frank hadn’t married Bobby would have acted out and gotten into trouble with the law because his father was often not home for him. It would have been major jail time. Instead, Gayle’s influence helped Bobby become an upstanding citizen and he eventually followed in his father’s footsteps. He even received a metal for bravery for stopping a hostage crisis that would have resulted in the death of two of the hostages if he weren’t there. He eventually becomes chief of police. Also he married Helen’s best friend. The friend was the youngest of the five that the DUI would have killed. Also in this timeline Bobby introduces Helen to her future husband. In addition, Gayle and Frank will have two other children, one of each. The girl becomes a science teacher who influenced one of her students to become a theoretical physicist and engineer. He invented the warp drive. In other words, we will be able to explore the stars because of this change.”

“And what would have happened to them if Helen changed back?” asked Holly.

“Gayle’s need to be a mother is so great and Mike’s remembrance of this time is so important that they eventually get a divorce. Neither would get what they want or need.”

“We done good, sis,” Holly noted. “Or is there more?”

“That’s the basics,” Betty replied. “Case closed.”

This is story two of the Little Kids Kamp universe.

I thank Holly Logan for her assistance in editing and Maggie O Malley for her encouragement with this universe.

A Busman’s Holiday

by shalimar

Jenna looked at Ramon and sighed. There was something wrong with the young man who worked for her. Although the other kitchen help sometimes assisted the women who ran the Little Girls Kamp he had always volunteered to help serve the girls. Despite that, he always had a sad face. It was as if he needed more. Determined to find out what that was this time she waited until she could leave the children and went into the kitchen to find Ramon. The only other ones left were Derrick, the chief chef, and some of the cleaning kitchen help.

“Derrick,” she said quietly, pulling him aside. “Ramon always looks so unhappy. Do you know what it is? Is there something we can do to help?”

“I wish I knew, Jenna. Maybe, Julia, over there could help you,” he replied, pointing with his head to a thirtyish woman cleaning a large pot. He talks to her more than anybody else.”

“Julia,” Jenna called to her. “May I see you in the office?”

“I need to finish the pot, Mrs. Boyd. I’ll be finished in a few minutes.”

“You know I prefer if you call me Jenna, and I need you NOW.”

“Something wrong?” Julia asked.

“I don’t know. That is why I need to talk to you,” replied Jenna. “Don’t worry about the pot. Someone else will finish for you or you will get a little overtime.”

Julia took off her apron as she followed Jenna to the office.

“Julia, do you know what’s bothering Ramon,” Jenna asked after she closed the door behind her.

“He promised me never to tell anyone, not even you,” Julia replied. “But I know you can help him. He needs it so badly that it’s eating him up.”

“Then, please talk it over with him,” Jenna insisted. “I want to help. I know my sisters will, too.”

“I will try. If he gets the nerve to tell you I know he’ll thank you for your help.”

The next day, Derrick walked in the employee lunchroom and heard Ramon in a loud voice say to Julia, “I can’t. I just can’t.”

“But she said that she wants to help,” Julia replied. “What do you have to lose by talking to her?”

“Julia is right, Ramon,” Derrick said as he walked over to the two sitting and eating their lunch. “Jenna, like her sisters, is a kind and gentle woman who only wants to help. She will listen and maybe, just maybe, she can do something for you.”

“Or I can talk for you,” Julia added.

Ramon shook his head “yes.” His whisper was barely audible as he asked Julia, “Talk to her. I’m too scared.”

Later that day, Julia called Jenna aside and told her what Ramon wanted.
As a result when Ramon and Jenna were handing out the cake she whispered to him, “Stay a little late. Wait for me in the employee lunchroom and don’t punch out.”

“I think we can help,” Jenna told Ramon later as she sat down next to him. “But I need you to tell me in your own words what you need.”

“Thank you,” he responded. “But why must I say what I want?”

“We have an idea of what you want but we need to make sure. Everything here is voluntary, so I need to confirm what you need in as much detail as you can give me.”

“I’d like to be one of those little girls that come to this camp.” he said in a barely audible voice as he looked down to the floor.

Jenna gently lifted Ramon’s chin and asked, ”How old?”

“Four or five,” he replied.

Jenna could see his fear in his face as she said, “It’s alright. We can do it. When’s your birthday?”

When he told her she said, “Four and a half, then. You will have a month this way, if it is all right with you. That is a month with pay.”

“You mean it?” Ramon asked as his face lit up with the excitement.

“Bring in your bills tomorrow so we can pay them out of your pay stubs. And be ready to be changed.”

The next day, Ramon arrived at the main changing room with the required documents. Even before the change Jenna promised he seemed like a changed man. When he realized that he chuckled to himself because he will be changed into that little girl he desperately needed to be. Checking the details and then making sure the magic was done properly, Jenna magically changed him into that little girl that he needed to be. The new girl turned out cute in her brown pigtails, white t-shirt, black jumper and white tennis shoes with white socks that had hot pink trim. She was now called Tamar.

Jenna was taking Tamar to the playground to introduce this new little girl to the other girls when the roar of a Harley interrupted the quiet as the songbirds few away. The Harley stopped outside the entrance as Janet, Jenna’s baby sister, was climbed off the Hogg. Janet took off her helmet and shook out her mane of black wavy hair.

“Hi sis,” Janet said as she gave her slightly older sister a kiss. “School’s out for the summer and I need some rest and relaxation.”

“How were the grades?”

“A’s except for maybe a B in psych.”

“Do you think you will ever graduate?”

“Perennial student, Jen.” she replied.

“Is your boyfriend coming to visit while you’re here?”

“Boyfriend?” Janet sounded a little confused.

“The guy you spoke about to me a few times,” Jenna replied. “What’s his name? Walter? Wesley?”

“It’s William and he’s not my boyfriend,” Janet replied. “He’s my study partner.”

“You told me that you two were studying human biology a few times we spoke,” noted Jenna.

Janet blushed. They did have sex a few times. And although she preferred girls she actually enjoyed it. Might she actually be hetero?

But she answered, “He’s just my study partner. Don’t make anything of it.”

But Janet wasn’t sure if she should make anything of the idea that her sister put in her head. She did like him a lot and for a man a good study partner, bicycle riding partner and sometime roommate. She even thought about making the roommate part more permanent, but she was a free spirit and didn’t want to be tied down.

“And who have we here?” Janet asked as she knelt down to the new little girl.

“Tamar,” said the shy little girl as she hid behind Jenna.

“Are you coming or going?”

“We were just about to introduce her to the other girls.”

“I’ll do that,” Janet replied. And then to Tamar, ”If it is alright with you.”

“But you don’t know the names of the other girls,” Jenna protested.

“I’ll find your kid or one of our nieces. She’ll introduce Tamar to the others.”

“OK. And do you have any clothes? Last time you came here with a few “t’s” two pairs of jeans and some undies.”

“What else do I need?”

“How about a nightgown or better yet, makeup?”

“Me? Makeup?”

“At least come over and get a nightgown,” Jenna insisted. “No nude bathing, even in bed.”

“Yeesss, Mother,” Janet replied, ducking as Jenna made a slow motion pretend swat at her.

Jenna sighed as she watched her sister take Tamar. Janet loved children and always had fun with the kids when she stayed at the camp, but she didn’t want a child for herself. It was a conundrum that didn’t make sense to Jenna. It also didn’t help that Janet has all the femininity of a linebacker.

‘Perhaps Janet is still a child herself,’ Jenna thought. “The one good thing that Janet shows is that a girl could think “male” thoughts and still be a girl.”

In the little girls playground Janet found a group of girls lined up for jump rope while two girls turned the rope. The rest were singing a rope song, and patiently waiting their turn. Near the end of the line was Baruchah, one of Shelly’s twin five-year-olds.

“Baruchah,” Janet called her niece over.

“Aunty Janet?” Baruchah asked as she turned around. “Aunty Janet!” she shouted as she ran to her aunt and gave her a big hug. “You’re home! I misses you a wholes lots. Are you out of school? Whose dat? Are you her mommy?”

“This is Tamar, she would like to join in and play. Also, introduce her to the other girls.”

“You not her mommy?”

Janet rolled her eyes as she said, “No!” She pushed Tamar towards her niece.

Tamar held tightly onto Janet’s hand, pleading with Janet, ”Stay? Pees stay?”

“OK,” Janet answered after thinking about it. “I’ll stay and watch for a while.”

“Yeah!” both little girls shouted as they gave Janet a hug.

They then joined the line with the other girls as Janet sat down on a step a few feet from the children. Janet didn’t know it, but there was a big smile on her face as she watched the children. However her sister Prudence, who was on duty watching the children play, did notice.

After a while the two kids asked Janet to jump rope. At first, Janet said “No!” but Baruchah and Tamar insisted. In fact, all the girls wanted Janet to jump rope. Many little voices encouraged her and many little hands tried to drag Janet towards the rope. Finally she relented and jumped into the turning rope. When she finished her turn and easily jumped out she was hardly breathing heavy. Almost all of the little girls congratulated her, and asked her to do it again.

Baruchah and Tamar congratulated Janet by putting their arms around each of Janet’s legs so she couldn’t move well.

“Girls,” Janet said. “At least let me catch my breath before you make me walk with you attached to my legs.”

“We wants you to do it again,” the two insisted.

“Let me rest a second.”

“NO, NOW!” Baruchah and Tamar demanded.

“I need to rest and unpack,” Janet told the girls. “Maybe later.”

“Come back,” they said in unison. “Weel soon.”

“I wouldn’t miss my niece for the world,” Janet said as she lightly pinched Baruchah’s cheek.

“What about me?” Tamar asked.

“I like you, too.” Janet replied pinching her cheek just before she walked away.

“She likes me,” Tamar told her new friend. “She be good mommy.”

“Aunty Janet no mommy,” Baruchah replied. “No, never.”

“Why no, never?”

“Aunty Janet still kid, like us.”

“She look grownup to me.”

“She still kid, “ Baruchah replied.

“If she kid, she knows what I want.”

“What you want?”

“A mommy.”

“If she be kid, how cans she be a mommy?”

“Don’t know. Just know she be MY mommy.”

Baruchah looked at Tamar but didn’t say another thing. She didn’t want to disappoint her new friend. She hoped that Janet would persuade Tamar before the child became too attached to Janet.

Janet went into the building that included her suite. Opening her suitcase she took out about eight short-sleeve t-shirts, a few bras and panties and three pairs of jeans. As she inspected the clothes for possible repairs, she was deep in thought. She realized that Tamar is a nice kid and hoped that she would find happiness during her stay at the camp as she put aside the few items that needed some minor sewing repair.

“I hope to see her again,” Janet said as she finished unpacking. “Get that thought out of your head, girl, or you’ll end up like Jenna, or worse, Shelly. How many kids does Shelly have now, a dozen? It is more like a dozen twins. And what’s worse, some kids call her grandma.”

It was still early, so Janet went back outside and watched some of the kids again. This time Tamar was playing hopscotch. One of the other girls was Maggie, Baruchah’s twin, and the other was Katlyn, also know as Piper, affectionately called, cub by Janet. Eventually, Piper will understand and appreciate the joke that was implied.

As soon as Maggie saw Janet she ran to her. Piper, Vicky and Tamar were barely behind her.

Maggie gave her aunt a hug and started talking, “HiAuntyJanetImissesyouand lovesyouI’splayinghopscotchwithPipermynewfriendTamarBaruisondaswingsand mommyisatthecallcentermommysaiddatifIseesyousdatyoushouldcallheras soonaspossiblewanttaplayhopscotchwithPipermeandTamar?”

Janet, like the rest of her brothers, sisters and cousins still can’t understand how Maggie could get all those words out without taking a single breath. It was a talent that the little storyteller seemed to need.

“May I watch for a while first?” asked Janet. “I don’t want to spoil your fun.”

So Janet watched the children play for a while. Eventually she joined in the game and allowed herself to lose to Tamar who seemed talented. It was near lunchtime for the children and Janet led the four of them to her home and feed them their favorite, pizza, which she got from the main camp cafeteria. Tamar remembered that as Ramon she had made many pizza pies for the children. Despite not eating much that morning and all the exercise she did, Janet, like the children, was only able to finish a half a slice.

As Janet was putting the pizza away in her freezer for another day, Piper asked, “Cans we have a tea party, Aunty Janet?”

“OK,”

“We’s not dressed,” Maggie noted. “And we’s only three.”

“Why don’t you all go and get your dresses on?” Janet suggested. “I’ll make sure there is milk and cookies.”

“Yeah!” Piper and Maggie shouted as they ran out of the suite.

But Tamar stood there and started to cry.

Janet picked her up and asked, “What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“I not know wheres I stays and not knows if I habs a dress for da party,” Tamar choked through tears.

“I’ll tell you a secret, princess,” Janet explained. “I also have the magical powers that my sister, Jenna has. So, I’ll create the best dress possible for a little girl. And I’ll check with Jenna and make sure you have a place to call your own even if it is one of my spare bedrooms. OK?”

With tears beginning to dry up, Tamar nodded her head, “yes.”

“While I call the kitchen to get that milk and cookies for you kids think of what that dress will look like.”

“You wears dress too?”

Thinking fast, Janet replied, “I can’t. I’m going to be the hostess and the one serving you girls.”

Janet HATED wearing skirts and dresses. Even when she did something special with her study partner, William, she wore her jeans. Although he preferred that Janet wore something a little more feminine, he never pushed her after he expressed his desires early in their relationship. It lead to their one and only “disagreement.”

As Janet promised, she created a fairy dress and a crown of lace, both in dusty rose for her. Looking at the girl after she had it on, Janet suggested that a little makeup would be perfect for the tea party. She put some blush on Tamar’s cheeks and added a little lipstick. Looking at Tamar’s nails, Janet decided to file them a bit, then add bubble gum colored polish. When she was finished, the child was pretty as a picture, so Janet got out her camera and took some pictures of the pixie. They were just finishing when Maggie and Piper came in with their cousin, Allie in tow. All three of the guests also wore cute dresses.

“Girls,” Janet suggested. “Stand together so I can take a picture of the four of you. I’ll put it on the computer and you can look at it. If you like it I’ll send it to your moms.” As Tamar was about to cry Janet told her, “I’ll give you your copy to keep, Tamar, if you like it.”

That lit up Tamar’s face.

While the girls were having their milk and cookies at their tea party, Janet called Jenna on her cell phone, “That girl, Tamar, asked me where she is staying while she is here. I told her I’d find out.”

“Could she be in that spare bed in your second bedroom?” Jenna responded. “We’re pretty filled up at the moment and I don’t know if there IS an extra bed.”

“But…”

“Just for the time being. The guests should be down to a normal size next week.”

Janet sighed. She knew appealing to her elders would do no good. Her dad, uncle and two aunts were the elders and as they wanted Janet married and a mother they would consider Tamar staying with her a great idea. Going to the counsel would be just as successful as her brothers, sisters and cousins who were on the counsel also wanted the same for Janet.

That evening before Janet tucked Tamar in for the night, Tamar asked, “Cans I come to you in your bed if I bees scared?”

“Yes,” replied Janet.

“And if I needs a hug?”

“Or a hug or any other reason, little one.”

“As long as I stays a kid cans I stays here?”

“Wouldn’t you like to stay with other little girls?”

“Buts I’s needs you.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Janet replied. “But it is time for you to get some sleep, so let me read a story to you, then off to bed for you.”

“I’s not sleepy,” Tamar replied with a yawn.

After reading the story, Janet put the sleeping child into her bed and pulled the covers over Tamar.

Just after Janet left the room Tamar whispered in her sleep, “Tank you, mommy.”

It was the next day, and Janet had already done her exercises so she decided to mend her college clothes outside her suite.

“What ya doin?” Tamar asked as she looked into Janet’s room.

“I’m sewing,” Janet replied. “While at school some of my clothes needed repair. Now that I’m out of school, it is the first time I’ve had to fix my clothes.”

“Yous rich,” Tamar noted. “Yous owns dis camp. Get new clothes?”

“I could,” Janet admitted. “But why throw something out because a button needs fixing or a seam wasn’t done right and by the time I found out I’ve worn it ten times? There are only a few pieces and each will take about a minute.”

“Cans I watch?”

“Sure.”

They sat silently for a few minutes as Janet continued to sew. For each garment she took the proper needle and thread needed to take care of the minor repair. Tamar watched intently.

“Why ya using dat thread?” asked Tamar.

“See, the t-shirt? The color is what is called royal blue,” Janet replied as she repaired the seam. “The thread is also royal blue.”

“Oh, is dat like kings and queens and pwincesses?”

“Yes,” Janet replied. It is worn by kings and queens and princesses.”

“Is you a pwincess?”

“No.”

They went silent for a few more minutes.

Janet was the one who broke it, “By the way, you need some clothes, Tamar. We can go to the mall and buy some things for you. Maybe tomorrow?”

“Make dem clothes pretty.”

“I’ll do my best. We’ll see what we can find.”

Again they were silent.

This time Tamar was the first to speak, “Cans I help?”

“A needle is very sharp. It can even cut you and you could bleed,” Janet replied. “I don’t know if a four-year-old can do that safely.”

“Want ta help.”

After thinking for a while, Janet conceded, “Maybe you can help me pull the needle and thread but we have to be very careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

When Tamar pulled the first thread with Janet’s help Janet said, “Very good.”

“Why no do at school?” Tamar asked.

“College is a very hard school, especially because I’m studying physical engineering,” Janet explained. “I have to prioritize my time. I have to study by reading the books and doing very hard homework. If I don’t, I won’t know what the teacher is talking about and I would fail the course. Sewing is something I could do when I am not in school.”

“What’s ‘pie or it ties?’”

“It means to decide what needs to be done and in what order. And then you do the things in that order. And it is pronounced, ‘prioritize.’” Janet said the word slowly so that Tamar would hear the word better.

“Pry or it ties,” Tamar repeated.

“That’s better,” Janet said as she gave Tamar a hug. “You’re a good learner.”

Tamar looked up at Janet, smiled and gave Janet a kiss. Janet felt a warm pleasure inside and relished the thought while Tamar thought that she needed this woman who was so thoughtful and patient with her to be her mommy.

Later, as Janet was finishing sewing, Tamar asked, “Cans yous sews a flower on my jeans?”

“Why do you want a flower on your jeans?”

“Jeans plain. Want pretty.”

“I don’t know if I can do that,” Janet honestly replied.

“Yous a grownup! You cans do anything! And … and yous … yous doos magic.”

“I’ll try,” Janet sighed. “What color would you like?”

Tamar chose a hot pink thread, took off her jeans and sat down next to Janet and watched her sew.

“Will you help me?” asked Janet.

“Yeah.”

They worked together with Janet pointing the needle and Tammy pulling it. In the end the flower was not perfect, but it did look like a daisy.

“OK?” asked Janet when she was satisfied with their work.

“YEAH!” replied Tamar. “Helps me puts it on!”

After Janet helped Tamar with her jeans Tamar looked down and said, “I sees it!”

Tamar climbed onto Janet and gave her a hug and kiss. Excited, Tamar ran to find Baruchah to tell her what Janet helped her make. Janet smiled.

What neither of them noticed is that Janet’s sister, Emma, saw most of the action. She knew that these two were bonding as unlikely as it seemed. Janet was actually caring for Tamar. Even more amazing was that Janet was more patient with Tamar than she usually is with the other children. Like the rest of her family, Emma could only hope.

Later that morning Janet asked for one of the company cars so that she could get Tamar some clothes. Finding out about the trip, Holly suggested to Janet that she could join them and take Heather. After making sure the two children were buckled in properly in the Hyundai Accent Janet drove the few miles to the regional mall that the sisters owned and parked in one of the general parking spaces, like the family insisted. The elders and counsel didn’t believe that the family should have special privileges. Making sure of their safety, Holly and Janet put a protection spell on the children before letting them out of the car.

The four girls walked the mall until they passed R & J Toys. A brainchild of Jenna’s, it was one of the businesses that the family started to cover the expenses of the camp.

“Cans wees go in da toy store?” asked Tamar. “I wants a dolly.”

After thinking about it for a few seconds, Janet agreed, “OK, we have the time. Heather, do you think you can help Tamar find a nice doll?”

“Yeah, Aunt Janet,” Heather replied.

As the adults walked into the toy store the children took off at a gallop.

“SLOW DOWN!” both Janet and Holly yelled at the children who were already too far away to hear them.

Giggling to herself, Janet shook her head, “no,” as the women tried to follow the children. They found the girls discussing the merits of Tammy getting the Raggedy Ann doll or one of the Cabbage Patch dolls.

“Raggedy is softer,” Heather explained. “Easier to cuddle.”

“Don’t know. Caddige Patch is bigger,” Tamar responded.

“Which do you want?” asked Janet.

“Want both,” Tamar said as she looked up to Janet.

When Tamar’s eyes pleaded with Janet, Janet sighed, knowing that one way or another, the girl would get both of those dolls.

“Well, ok, both” replied Janet, making Tamar light up a smile as Holly seemed surprised.

Holly was surprised at Janet’s generosity. She turned to her daughter, “And what do you want, Heather?”

“More clothes for my Barbie!” Heather explained as she ran to the display.

Holly and Janet each held Tamar’s hands as they took her to the display. Tammy decided to jump every few feet making it harder on the two women but still fun for all three. As Heather chose some items she wanted for her doll, Tamar looked and decided she also wanted a Barbie. Barbie’s friends were in that display. When she saw the dolls Tammy looked at them hungrily.

‘A Barbie doll?’ Janet thought. ‘Of all the toys in the store, why a Barbie?’

“Want dat one,” Tamar pointed and looked up at Janet with the same pleading eyes that had gotten her the two other dolls.

The child was pointing to one of Barbie’s friends, but Janet couldn’t tell which one, so she picked up the child and asked her to show her again. Tamar picked out the Kiesha version.

“Heather,” Holly asked. “Would you be willing to share some of Barbie’s clothes with Tamar?”

“’Till she gets her own,” Heather Rose replied.

“That ok with you?” Janet asked Tamar.

“Yeah,” Tammy replied. “I likes dose clothes Hedder showed me.”

After the women paid for the toys Holly told Janet, “I’ll bring the packages back to the car and I’ll meet you at Girl Rave.”

When Holly arrived at the store, Janet had already picked out a few things and was discussing them with the girls. Some of the clothes the girls liked and some they didn’t. What amazed Holly was that Janet didn’t argue about some of the clothes being very girly. After watching the three girls for a while Holly helped Janet try the clothes on the girls and decide the final items. Tamar wanted to wear immediately one peasant skirt. Seeing how pretty her friend looked in it Heather asked her mother if she could also have one. The two girls walked out of the store wearing identical skirts and tops. Their shoes were different until the four left the Buster Brown Shoe store.

After that the girls were hungry so they ate at the food court. The girls had chicken nuggets and the women had salads.

As they ate, Holly suggested to Janet, “Why don’t you get the same colored peasant skirt, top and shoes that Tamar got? You could look like a mother, daughter pair.”

At the mention of “skirt” Janet accidentally spat out some lettuce.

“What do you mean by that?” Janet angrily asked.

“You are spending a lot of time with Tamar and I thought that you might like to share something else with Tammy,” Holly replied.

“No skirts, thank you,” Janet whispered through clenched teeth. “Let’s go. I can’t shop anymore.”

Janet stopped eating and didn’t say another word while the children finished eating and Holly suggested she should drive back to the camp. After strapping in, Janet just stared out the window and cried softly. Janet thought she might like to wear something that Tamar would also wear, but NOT A SKIRT!

At a red light Holly noticed Janet crying.

Grabbing Janet’s hand she said, “I’m sorry sis.”

Janet squeezed Holly’s hand and gave her the ghost of a smile.

After they got back and Janet put Tamar’s clothes away she took the sales tags off the dolls then sent Tammy outside to play. Although she forgave her sister, she was still angry with Holly so she took her baseball uniform out of one of her dressers and grabbed her bat from her closet. She thought if she hit some baseballs she could get rid of her anger safely. Walking out her door she saw that Tamar was happily playing jacks with Katlyn.

But her movements didn’t escape Tamar’s notice.

She didn’t get far on her way to the baseball fields Tamar ran up to her and asked, “Where you going?”

“To the baseball fields. I’m going to hit some balls.”

“Cans I come? Peas, peas, peas?”

Kay, one of Shelly’s twin fourteen-year-olds, was walking by at the time and overheard the conversation. “I can watch her until you finish then I’ll hit some balls myself,” she suggested.

“I need to go first, Kay.”

“No problem, Aunt Janet. We’ll take Katlyn so neither kid gets lonely.”

“How about it, Piper Cub, want to join us?” asked Janet.

“Yeah!” Emma’s kitten agreed.

When they got there, the older girls took one of the fields and took a pitching machine from the scorer’s booth to the mound, as the younger girls began playing just beyond the fence with their jacks. They hauled several baskets of baseballs to the machine, and then Janet settled by home plate and started to hit the machine’s pitches. The first ball, Janet whiffed. The second was a liner to the gap in left center field. The third was a fast grounder that hit the machine, but did no damage. Janet felt her anger dissipate as most of the rest of the balls were excellent shots to the outfield and a few flew over the outfield fence. Switching with Kay, Janet enjoyed talking to the young girls as they played.

“Cans I hit the ball?” Tammy asked after a while.

“These are baseballs,” Janet explained. “You could get hurt”

“What if we change the balls into whiffle balls and the bat into a whiffle bat?” asked Kay.

“I think Nerf bat and balls would be safer,” Janet commented as she did the magic.

Janet played pitcher and Kay played catcher as first Tamar then Piper swung the child sized bats. The youngsters hit many of the balls including a few that managed to get into the outfield. When both younger girls finished their batting practice the four of them walked back towards the camp. They stopped by the swings where Janet and Kay pushed the two little girls. All four would fondly remember that incident for years.

The next morning Janet did her regular exercise routine. She started with some simple stretching exercises. She then went to her Bowflex and did a number of routines on it. She took her speed bike down from its hook, went outside and got onto the bike. Tamar ran after her.

“What ya doing?” asked Tamar as she stopped.

“I’m going to ride my bike hard and fast,” Janet told her. “It is the last part of the exercises that I do every morning.”

“Cans I come?”

“I’m going to be riding hard and fast,” Janet tried to explain. “You wouldn’t be able to keep up.”

“Peas, Peas?”

Janet sighed. She knew taking the kid along wasn’t such a good idea, but, also, that Tamar wouldn’t give up.

“Alright, get your bike and come along,” the elder girl agreed.

“No bike,” Tammy wined, as she looked down, disappointed starting to cry.

“If you did have a bike what color would it be?” Janet asked as she knelt down to Tamar’s level.

“Dat be purple,” Tamar whispered, as she was still unhappy that she couldn’t go with Janet.

Janet concentrated then said to Tamar, “Turn around and get on your bike.”

“Turn around?” asked a confused Tamar.

“Your bike is behind you,” Janet explained. “It is part of the magic.”

“Cans I do magic too?”

“When you get older, if you are part of the family.”

Tamar turned around and saw a girl’s 12” bike that had training wheels. Happily she got onto it and followed Janet. Janet had to change her gears to the slowest setting so she wouldn’t move too fast for Tamar. Part of that bothered Janet as she could fly like the wind on her bike, but Tamar’s smile more than made up for the slow exercise that morning.

About a half an hour later, Tamar told Janet, “I tired.”

“What am I going to do with you?” Janet asked in exasperation. “I can’t leave you here.”

“Don’t know,” Tamar said. “No cans rides no mores.”

Janet put down her kickstand, wondering why she was doing all these things with and for this little girl. It didn’t make sense, yet she felt she couldn’t disappoint Tamar, and she actually felt a need to care for and protect this pixy.

After thinking about the situation Janet finally told Tammy, “Come over here by my bike, as I have to do some changes. But be careful. Don’t touch my bike because it may fall, especially on you.”

As Tamar walked to Janet’s bike, Janet turned Tamar’s bike into a child seat for it. She went over to the seat, brought it back to the bike and magically attached it securely to the bicycle. Turning, she picked up Tamar and put the girl in the seat. While holding onto the seat so Tamar and the bike wouldn’t fall, Janet turned around and got on the bike. Just before Janet started to move, she felt tiny hands and a tiny head touch her back. Janet savored the precious hug.

“Lean back, Tamar,” Janet said after a while. “It’s safer that way.”

After Tammy followed Janet’s instructions, Janet started to pedal and got to her normal speed. Eventually Janet was able to go over the two hills that was her original goal. Breathing heavily, she turned around at the bottom of the second hill and stopped.

The peacefulness of this location is the reason why she liked going there. The birds chirping in the broadleaf trees always calmed her down. The small brook, and waterfall above the bridge they had just come over was always a pleasure to watch. Looking back at the child seat, she noticed Tamar sleeping, looking like an angel.

Janet stroked the child’s hair and said, “I wish you could see this place the way I do. It is one of my favorite spots. I sometimes come here to think.”

Janet stood on her bike a while longer before she rode back over the hills to the camp area. When she arrived back where the children were she rode slower to help prevent accidents. Gina was relaxing from her work as one of the camp’s physicians, watching the children when Janet rode in. When Janet stopped in front of Gina, Gina took the still sleeping Tamar off the bicycle.

“I’ll take care of the baby for you,” she offered.

“Thanks, sis,” Janet said as she turned her bike back to its original form. “When I finish putting my bike away I’ll look in on her.”

Gina was surprised but noted that Janet was happy, and seemed to have actually enjoyed the experience with Tamar.

When Tamar woke up she went out and played tag with Maggie, Baruchah, and Cathleen. After they ran out of breath they sat under a tree and talked.

“You is Jenna’s kid?” Tamar asked Cathleen.

“Yeah, she’s the bestest mommy.”

“Jenna was my boss. I likes her.”

“Is you going back to being a grownup?”

“I hopes not.”

“You needs a mommy to stay.”

“I gots a mommy.”

“Aunty Janet?”

“Yeah.”

“I hopes you right. Dat means you bees my cousin.”

“Yeah,” Tamar said as she smiled and hugged Cathy. “I bees your cousin.”

That night, when Janet told Tamar, ”Time for a bath,” Tammy asked, “Do I hab to?”

“I’ll tell you what,” Janet suggested. “I’ll make it fun by making it a BUBBLE BATH! Or if you want, I’ll get in with you.”

“Both!”

“Both?”

“More fun dat way!”

Janet drew the water and made sure it wasn’t too hot or cold. When she was satisfied she threw in some bubbles and then stripped before getting the munchkin who ran and tried to hide. But Janet was too fast and strong for the little girl who was quickly made naked as both girls giggled. Janet took off her robe, stepped in and lay down in the tub as Tamar sat on the small part of Janet’s tummy. They played, putting soap on every part of each other’s body.

“Whens I grows up I wants to have boobies like you,” Tamar told Janet.

“That may happen,” Janet replied as she startled Tamar by starting the whirlpool jets that made Tamar giggle, making Janet giggle. Soon after Janet pulled the plug and started the shower so she could rinse the soap from their bodies, however that got their hair wet. Noticing that Janet, got some “No More Tangles” shampoo and washed their hair.

After drying them off and putting on their nightgowns Janet brushed the baby’s hair and then her own as the child yawned.

“You’re a tired little girl. I’ll read a book to you and then off to dreamland with you,” Janet said as she pick Tamar up and took from the shelf a copy of “Good Night Moon” sat down in the rocking chair and settled in with the child.

By the middle of the book Janet noticed Tamar’s rhythmic breathing. She put the book down and continued rocking Tammy for a while making sure that the child was completely asleep before putting the child in the bed and making sure that Tamar’s plushies were asleep with her. Then Janet kissed her on the forehead.

Janet went back to the rocking chair and rocked. Although she would be a bit stiff in the morning, Janet somehow knew she needed to sleep in the rocking chair. The gentle rocking motion quickly put her to sleep. She awoke with a start. She thought she heard a noise. Looking around and not hearing it a second time almost allowed her to drift off into dreamland again.

But the sound bothered her, so she looked closely at Tamar and noticed that the little girl seemed to be trying to grab something below her in her sleep. In the dim light Janet noticed the Raggedy Ann doll on the floor, just out of reach of the girl. She got out of the chair and put the doll in Tammy’s extended hand. Quickly, Tamar pulled it in to her chest, andturned over on her side. Janet noticed the smile on the baby’s angelic face.

Happy that she solved the sleeping child’s needs, Janet finally went to her own bed in the next room, hoping that the kinks she’d gotten from sleeping in the rocking chair would unwind in her own, softer bed.

Early in the morning Tamar succeeded in waking Janet by climbing onto her bed and bouncing on her back as if Janet was a horse.

“Don’t do that when I have a full bladder,” Janet told the child. “I could have an accident.”

Tamar giggled.

“You’re impossible,” Janet remarked with a smile as she got up to pee, making Tamar fall onto the bed. When she returned, she told Tamar, “Go pee, then you may come back to my bed.”

Tamar frowned and exclaimed, “I’s in da bed!”

But Janet repeated, “Go pee first. And make sure you wipe yourself.”

As the child followed Janet’s instructions, the older girl pulled up the covers and crawled into bed. Digging when she felt something soft and lumpy under her behind she found the Raggedy Ann doll that that waked her from her sleep in the wee hours of the morning.

The child returned to find Janet on her back playing with the doll. “My doll!”

“Yep, your doll,” Janet agreed. “I was just keeping her company until you came back.”

Carefully Janet rolled over onto her tummy as Tamar played with the doll. The next time she woke, she found Tamar lying asleep next to her, with the doll in between. This precious moment warmed her heart, but she quickly got out of the bed, needing to start her exercise. She had just finished with her Bowflex when Tamar entered the exercise room.

“Ride bike?” asked Tamar.

“Yes,” Janet replied. “We’ll ride the bikes then have breakfast.”

“Otay!” Tamar shouted. “Where’s my bike?”

As fast as she could, Janet conjured up another bicycle, as she put the child seat on her own bike. She vowed not to get rid of either of them until Tamar’s time as a child ended. This time, Tamar was awake when they reached the end of the ride. Janet showed Tamar some turtles sunning themselves on some rocks in the small pool below the waterfall. After watching for a while, the child couldn’t be happier as she leaned into, and looked up at Janet.

Joining them for breakfast when they returned were Cathy, Heather and Sarah. Relieved of breakfast duty that morning, Prue stayed and watched with interest and could only hope for Janet’s sake, as well as Tamar’s, that Tamar was crawling inside her sister’s heart.

After the other children left following breakfast, Janet suggested to Tamar, “You were so intent on riding a horse this morning, that maybe we can do something.”

“Ders horsys here?”

“We don’t have any horses, but we have something better, unicorns. There should be one available we can ride.”

“Yeah.”

Janet called the stable and found that there were still a few available and one would be brought by her place in a few minutes. Taking Tamar to the cafeteria, Janet asked for a few lumps of sugar, and an apple for the unicorn.

When the stable hand arrived with the unicorn Janet petted the animal and gave it the sugar cubes. As it was eating its treat Janet got on the “horse” and the stable hand handed Tamar to Janet. They took the “Unicorn Trail” around the great lake on their property. On the boy’s side of the lake, they stopped and watched some of the boys fishing. One of them caught what looked like a twenty-inch trout.

A little further down the road they stopped when Tamar spotted some frogs jumping along the shore. Janet let the child down so she could try to catch one, giggling all the time. While this was happening, Janet got off the unicorn and fed it the apple she’d brought with her. Then she caught a small frog and let Tamar look at it.

When Tammy’s curiosity waned Janet put the frog back in the lake and told the girl, “We’re going to let the froggy live so it can grow up and be a mommy or daddy someday.”

Tamar followed the frog until it went underwater, then looked up at Janet, happy that she was sharing this experience with the one she was sure would be her mother.

When they got back, they saw Vicky, one of Kimmie’s children, playing with her unicorn plushy.

“What ya doin?” asked Tamar.

“Playing with Darla.” Vickie’s eyes were on the stuffed unicorn.

“Cans I join you?”

“You gots a unicorn?”

Tamar pointed to the animal she was riding.

“No, a stuffy one,” Vicky insisted.

Tammy looked at Janet and asked, “Cans I hab a unicorn?”

“Like this one here?” Janet asked as she patted the unicorn.

“Nos, likes Raggedy Ann!”

Janet opened the saddlebag and put her hand in. There had not been a unicorn doll in the bag until she did the magic to make it. She pulled out a pink one with long white hair and gave it to the girl.

Tamar smiled as she cuddled and kissed it, and then ran to play with Vicky, stopping only long enough to say, “Thank you,” then whispering, “Mommy.”

As the girls played with the two stuffed animals, Janet took their ride back to the stable.

When Janet got back she went to her dresser and took her figure skating competition outfit out of her sports drawer. First she slipped on her ice blue tights followed by the ice blue leotard with sparkles that had a small skirt. That and her tennis outfit were the ONLY items she owned that had any skirt, and she only wore them because of the competitions she sometimes entered. She was an excellent skater, but just below the best, once placing third in the Regionals but never higher. She knew she could have used magic to place higher, but believed that would have been cheating, and when she talked that idea over with her siblings they agreed.

Grabbing her skates, a towel and a change of clothes and putting them in her knapsack, she walked out her door where Tamar who was talking to Vicky confronted her, “Yous pretty! Wheres yous going?”

“To the ice skating rink,” Janet replied. “I need to do some skating.”

“Wanna watch,” Tamar insisted. “Cans Vicky come too?”

“You just want to watch?” Janet asked.

“MAYBE SKATE!” shouted Vicky.

“OK, kids,” Janet agreed. “You watch me for a little bit, then if you still want to, we’ll skate together.”

“OTAY!” they shouted.

Janet set up the four cameras when they got to the rink, so she could see later the results of her exercise on her computer. She then put the girls in seats that were close to the rink, yet high enough that the pixies could see her. Walking till she got onto the ice, she did double and triple Lutzes, camels, double and triple jumps and spins. She fell twice, but finished her exercise with a spiral that turned into a spin and ended with a camel. Despite her flaws, the girls clapped.

“OK, girls,” Janet finally said after she caught her breath. “Come over here and we’ll skate.”

“No skates,” Tamar complained.

“Hello! Tamara, this is Janet. I do magic. When I lift you into the rink you’ll have skates on.”

“Can’t skate,” Tamar noted.

“I’ll teach you.”

They skated and, as Janet promised, Tamar gradually learned to skate. The girls fell down a few times, but Janet just picked them up and helped them continue skating. After about a half an hour, Janet grabbed the girls’ hands and they skated around the rink for the last time. Janet changed into her sneakers then took the girls to the showers where she cleaned herself and the children, despite their protests at this extreme cruelty.

When they left, Janet grabbed the cameras. On the way back the girls joined the other kids climbing the “jungle gym” apparatus and using the slides. Eventually, Janet pushed the two girls on the swings.

That evening Janet received a phone call.

“Hello,” she said as she picked up the phone.

“Hi, Janet. It’s Bill. I miss you and want to see you.”

“I miss you, too,” she replied, “Although I’ve been busy taking care of the girls in the camp.”

“Maybe I could stay a few days and see how you care for the kids.”

“That would be nice.”

They talked for a couple of hours. In the end, they made a date for him to stay starting that weekend.

“Friday night I’m taking you to a nice place so we can dance. I understand that Judy’s is a great place to see new acts.”

“They have great bands,” Janet replied, “I’d love to go.”

She was mesmerized by his voice.

The next evening Cynthia came into Janet’s suite acting like she was on a mission, “Your boyfriend, Bill, just called me and wanted me to make sure you look pretty for that date you two are having this weekend. That means we’re going to the salon and getting you a dress. And you’re going to wear heels.”

“What date?” asked Janet. “Do I have a say in this?”

“No, You don’t have a say in this! I’ve already made an appointment for you to get your hair done in the morning and after that we’ll find that perfect dress for you, and a bra, panties and shoes to match. If you want to, you can take that Tamar kid. She might like getting her hair done.”

Janet sulked. She loved going shopping almost as much as she liked wearing skirts. Now she had to do one to get the other. For what? Well, it was a guy she liked, but she just liked him. She really didn’t think she loved him. Or did she?

“I guess I have no choice,” she reflected.

“Nope,” Cindy explained with a sinister smile. “I’ll pick you up at nine.”

Later, Janet told Tammy, “We’re getting our hair done tomorrow. Then my sister, Cindy will help me buy a dress.”

“You no wears dress!” Tamar commented. “Why you wears dress?”

“I’m doing something special with a guy named William. He’s my study partner at college.”

“You likes him?”

Janet sighed, then, despite herself, smiled, “I guess so.”

“You make kissy, kissy?”

“Yes we’ll make kissy, kissy. Now I’ll read you a story, then off to bed for you. We’re going to have to get up early to get our hair done.”

“Mine too?”

“If you want to.”

“Peas!”

Janet read Tamar a Strawberry Shortcake story before tucking the child and her dolls into her bed.

It was five o’clock in the morning when Tamar woke up. Knowing what Janet would say, she went to the bathroom before taking her dolls and opening the door to Janet’s bedroom to creep in next to the sleeping beauty. She needed the warmth that represented the love of the adult next to her. Tammy wasn’t completely successful in getting into bed without waking Janet, who briefly opened her eyes as the child settled in.

About ninety minutes later the phone rang and when Janet answered, Cindy sang, “Rise and shine and give G_d your, glory, glory.
Rise and shine and give G_d your glory, glory.”

“It’s too early for such nonsense,” Janet replied.

“Come on, get up, girl,” Cindy insisted. “Besides, we ain’t nuns.”

Janet sat on the side of her bed with her eyes closed, protesting, “I’m up. I’m up.”

“And your little charge?”

“I’ll get her up in a few minutes. I’m up. I’m up!”

“She dost protest too much, me thinks.”

“I’ll do some of my exercises then get the kid up.”

“Just be ready for our ten o’clock appointment with the salon. This is going to be an all day affair.”

“This is getting worse and worse.”

“You know you like the guy. Do it for him, just this once.”

“Yeess, Mother.”

“If you want to be putty in his hands, you need him to want to be putty in your hands.”

Janet did her exercises, excluding the bicycle, took a quick shower, and then woke Tamar. Cindy came to the apartment and the three ate breakfast as Cindy explained the itinerary for the day. The more Cindy explained, the less Janet liked the idea. Why couldn’t William accept her as she is? She was a tomboy and she accepted who she was.

She thought about William. She was beginning to want to do a few special things for him and this was the ultimate test, as she would be wearing a dress. She also realized that he was starting to do things for her that endeared him to her. Maybe they were beginning to fall in love with each other.

When they got to the hairdressers Cindy, Janet and Tamar were whisked away to chairs near each other. All three girls had their hair washed, slightly frosted and permed.

While their hair was being blow-dried, the nail girl came and discussed the nail polishing that Janet would get.

Despite her head being under the dryer Tamar said, “Want pretty nails too!”

“Honey, Cindy is paying for this,” Janet explained. Then to the nail girl, “Robyn could you play twenty fingers?”

“And twenty toes?” asked Robyn. “I’m supposed to do your feet, too.”

“Would you also like your toes done, Tammy?” asked Janet.

“Peas.”

“I hope you don’t mind, Janet. Doing it that way will take a little longer,” Robyn explained.

“You will be well rewarded for a happy little girl’s smile,” Janet noted.

Before Robyn started counting the fingers, and then the toes for Tamar, she said, “A happy girl’s smile is also a reward.”

When they were finished at the salon, they all went to Neiman Marcus and searched the dress department there. A sales lady that Janet swore looked the statue of Venus de Milo having arms came to help. She suggested a spaghetti strapped cherry dress with flowers in silk. It came with a sheer jacket. Somehow, Janet fell in love with the dress and changed into it to see how she looked. When she came out, both Cindy and Tamar gave their voice of approval as Janet admired herself in the mirror.

“Damn, I look hot!”

“That’s the point, girl,” Cindy noted.

As Janet went through the opening to the changing room to get back into her street clothes, Tamar told Cynthia, “Mommy pretty.”

Cynthia asks Tamar, “Does Janet know you call her ‘Mommy’?”

“Not know.”

“This is important, Tamar,” Cynthia continued. “Does she know?”

“I’m afraid,” Tamar admitted as she started to cry.

When Janet came out she saw Tammy crying in Cynthia’s arms so she picked up the girl.

“What’s wrong Tammy?” Janet asked.

“I’s ‘fraid,” the little girl cried.

“Tell me about it and we’ll chase the scaires away together,” Janet coaxed.

“Can’t. Nots now.”

“Promise you’ll tell me eventually?” Janet asked as she dried Tamar’s tears.

“Promise.”

They left shopping in a good mood again. Even Janet was anticipating her evening with William. Arriving back at the camp, Janet didn’t want to ruin the work that had been done, so she asked Cindy to watch Tamar.

As she waited for the time she needed to get ready Janet wrote down some of her thoughts. Eventually, Tamar came in and had dinner. It was during that time that Janet got ready for her date.

Tamar finished eating and asked Janet, “Cans I get pretty too?”

“How would you like to dress to meet my boyfriend?”

“A pretty dress?”

“How about that skirt and blouse you got at Girl Rave?”

“Dat be good.”

Janet quickly washed Tamar’s hands and face then put on the child’s outfit before finally putting on her dress. Janet went to her vanity and finished her makeup and adding lipstick and blush to Tamar. A few minutes later they heard the doorbell ring.

When Janet opened it Bill was stand there in a jacket and tie and holding a bouquet of flowers. Janet put her arms around his neck and kissed him passionately. Of course, Bill returned the same passionate kiss.

Feeling left out, Tamar tapped Janet’s hip and asked, “Dat your boyfriend?”

“Oh, sorry,” Janet said as she turned still in hanging onto Bill. “Bill this little angel is Tamar, Tamar, my boyfriend, Bill.”

Janet took the flowers and put them in a vase with water as Bill bent down and shook Tamar’s hand gently and said, “You are a pretty angel, Tamar.”

“Tank you.”

Tamar smiled at the man with the kinky hair and the light brown skin as the doorbell rang again. It was Elsa, one of Shelly’s twins, had volunteered to baby sit that evening. Janet got her things, kissed Tamar and her niece good by before walking hand in hand with Bill to his car. As they drove the few blocks to the restaurant Janet was talking about Tamar.

When they ate they talked about a number of things, but Janet always seemed to turn the subject back to Tamar. Bill noticed how animated she was when she talked about Tamar.

“I’ve noticed, even in this dim light, that when you talk about Tamar your eyes light up. I’ve also noticed that a number times when you’re with me,” Bill told Janet.

“She is a nice little girl.”

“In fact, no matter what we start talking about this evening you eventually turn the conversation back towards that NICE little girl.”

“I don’t know. She’s on my mind a bit.”

Bill took Janet’s hand and led her to dance floor as a slow dance was played.

“Janet,” Bill said.

“Mummmm”

“I’m asking you this a little earlier than I expected to. I didn’t plan to do this tonight, but the way you’ve been talking about Tamar this evening I realized that it is not just you and me anymore. I know about the magic of your camp. If you want it, I would be proud to be your husband and for us to be Tamar’s parents,” William suggested.

“Huh?”

“I just asked you if we could get married, and if you wish I’m willing to be Tamar’s daddy.”

Janet began to cry, “I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if I want to marry you. I don’t know if I want to be a mother. And I defiantly don’t know if I want to be Tamar’s mother.”

Bill looked disappointed as they continued to dance.

“Bill, if I was to marry ANYONE it would be you, or someone like you. I don’t know if I’ll ever marry anyone. I haven’t said yes, but I’m not saying, ‘no.’ I promise to think about it.”

“Fair enough, for now,” Bill conceded. “But I won’t give up. I love you too much to do that.”

“I hope I won’t disappoint you.”

“In fact, the proposal still stands, with or without Tamar. I know that you are not ready now, but when you are, you tell me.”

Janet just nodded her head, “yes.”

Later, Bill took Janet back to her place. They kissed outside her door as they held each other in a warm embrace.

“Good night,” Janet finally said.

“I was hoping to stay with you tonight.”

“I want you to stay, but you can’t be in my bed tonight, even though I need you there. Tamar won’t understand.”

“Could I at least look at that angel that is preventing me from getting to Heaven tonight?”

“OK,” Janet agreed. “Want to take the third bedroom?”

“Is this the closest I’m going to get tonight?”

“Just tonight. Things will eventually get back to normal.”

“But, that’s what I meant before. You are looking out for the kid’s welfare before yours or mine.”

“So?”

“You are her mother, at least in your heart.”

Janet went quiet. What he said hit a nerve she didn’t realize she had.

They walked in and saw Elsa sleeping on the couch. Not wanting to wake her they looked in on Tamar who was cuddling her three dolls.

“She must be a sweet kid,” Bill said as he put his arm around Janet’s shoulder.

“She is,” Janet replied as she cuddled closer to the man that was slowly becoming her lover.

“I understand now,” Bill said. “I’ll go to the other room before I insist.”

Reluctantly, Janet walked to her room and got dressed for the night but she had a tough time sleeping knowing that her William was only a few feet away. Bill also felt similar needs.

In the morning Tamar found her way into Janet’s bedroom, lay down and slept with the woman she needed as a mommy. About an hour later, Bill knocked on Janet’s door.

“May I come in?” he asked.

“Hi!” Tamar exclaimed. “Yous have fun last night?”

Janet yawned and said, “Come on in. And, yes, we did have fun. Last night we went out to a nice restaurant and danced.”

“Is yous gonna be my daddy?” asked Tamar.

“I don’t know,” Bill said as he sat on the bed. “I could be. Would you like that?”

Tamar smiled at the man that seemed to have stolen Janet’s heart, and said, “yeah.’

By then Janet had sat up and was leaning on Bill as Tamar climbed onto Janet’s lap. Although she knew full well what Tamar’s question and Bill’s answer meant, their conversation didn’t seem to bother Janet.

“Cans I play wid your hair?” asked Tammy.

“Well, OK.”

She patted Bill’s hair and grinned.

“If yous bees my daddy den I can do dis when I want.”

“That may make it worth while.”

Later that morning, Bill and Janet did their exercises. When Janet went for her bike, Bill asked if he could borrow one. Instead, Janet conjured up a duplicate of Bill’s bike. Wanting to join them, Tamar slowed them down for a bit until she got tired. Janet gave Bill the child while she reset her bike to have a child seat and then had Bill put the baby on her bike. Quickly they rode until they reached the waterfall and small pond under the bridge that Janet liked to think at.

“So this is the spot?”

“Yeah, with the waterfall, the small pond, the broadleaf trees and the animals I have time to think without being disturbed. This place now has a name, Turtle Falls.”

“Tamar?”

“Yep, the first time she came here awake she saw some turtles sunning themselves on the rocks below,” she said as she took Tamar off her seat.

Janet carried the child as they walked down the path to the pool below. There were many wildflowers one of which Bill broke off and put into Janet’s hair. Not wanting to be left out, Tamar asked for the same and Bill accommodated. Tamar asked to be let down and skipped ahead of the two lovers.

In the evening as Janet put her to sleep, Tamar said, “I wants to keep the flower.”

“What else would you like?”

“Dat picture of us at da tea party, and us skating.”

“I know what. How about we make a memento book. You’ll have a keepsake of everything that is important.”

“Cans you help me?”

“Sure, honey. Meanwhile, I’m putting the flower on your dresser. Now go to sleep we’ll take care of that memento book tomorrow.”

After breakfast in the morning Janet said to Bill, “I’d like to take you up to Picnic Lake. We can ride the unicorns up there. It is a peaceful spot to spend the afternoon.”

“I wana go too!” Tamar exclaimed.

“Wouldn’t you want to play with the other girls?” asked Janet.

“Maybe one would like to come wid me.”

“That ‘s a good idea, Tammy,” Bill agreed. “We could take one of Janet’s nieces so you would have company.”

They looked outside and saw Kimmie taking her Allie someplace so Janet hailed her sister.

“I need to work the intake today,” Kimmie explained. “I don’t know what to do with Allie, yet.”

“We were going to Picnic Lake and Tammy will be alone so we’ll take Allie and the girls can play together.”

“Are you sure you want her for the day?”

“It will be easier for us to take care of Tammy that way.”

“How are you getting up to the lake?”

“By unicorn.”

“Now remember, Allie can only ride in front of you on the unicorn. She is not old enough to ride by her self,” Kimmie explained.

“I don’t know if Tammy can ride by herself either,” replied Janet. “They will have to ride in front of us on the saddle.”

“Well, Allie, do you want to play with Tamar today?” Kimmie asked.

“Be fun,” the child replied as she and Tamar hugged each other.

The stables brought over the two unicorns, a young male and female pair. After loading up the picnic baskets, Bill and Janet put the children onto the unicorns then got on the saddles themselves. The rode around the main lake for about two miles then followed a stream to Picnic Lake. The area where they picnicked was flat, grassy and way above the high water line. In the distance of this grassy plain some of the other unicorns were grazing, so they let their animals loose.

Some of the young male unicorns were practicing dueling. When they grow up they will be able to choose their mates based on how well they duel, but the mating season is in the fall so when the foal comes in the spring there is enough grass for them to eat.

Beyond the grass was the area known as the Bamboo Berry Forest where the Zenghung Peacock lived. About fifteen inches long in addition to its tail, and looking mostly like the Chinese mythical bird it made its nest in the bamboo trees and usually had a diet of insects, worms, fruits and seeds and the occasional small rodent they could find. While the “family” was there those birds would fly near the picnic area or strut their magnificent tail feathers near the lake as the girls looked at them with wonder. One of the birds rested on the ground near the playing girls who tried to capture it without much success, but it made the adults laugh at the children’s actions.

After a pleasant afternoon where Janet and William felt they got closer they rode the unicorns back to Janet’s suite. Allie stayed with them for dinner.

It was during dinner that Bill told Janet, “I’d like to talk to the men about working for the camp, with your permission.”

“Why?” asked Janet.

“I need to see what’s involved if we do become a married couple.”

“I have no control over you,” she replied.

“You have my heart.”

“True and you have mine, but you are still free to do what you think is best.”

“So, may I?”

“I didn’t say ‘no.’”

“But you didn’t say, ‘yes.’”

“I don’t know. I really don’t know. Please don’t pressure me.”

After Allie left Janet conjured up a 12x12 black book with a removable binder and took Tamar into her room.

“Here’s the picture of you in that tea party dress,” Janet explained. Would you like to put it here?”

“Dat be good.”

“And here is the one of you and the girls together before the party.”

“Dat’s a nice one.”

“And here’s the one of me serving you milk and cookies.”

“How you do dat?”

“Magic.

“Oh.”

Janet turned the page after attaching the pictures.

“This is the three of us skating.”

“I likes dat.”

“Now, the flower from yesterday we will put on this page,” Janet explained as she turned the page. “We’re just pressing it so it will stay on the page and be preserved.”

“Sos I cans keep it forever.”

“Right.”

“What if the book gets full?”

“That’s why the binder is removable so we can add more pages later on. I’m putting it here on your nightstand,” Janet said as she put the book down and covered the girl and her dolls. “Now, be a good girl and go to sleep.”

Janet then kissed Tammy before closing the light, closing the door then went to Bill and cuddled him.

That night Janet thought before she slept. William DID have her heart, so why is she so reluctant to commit? Was she just afraid, was it the pressure to make a decision, or was there more? Sleep overtook her hours later before she could find the answer.

In the morning Bill went to the main office and made arrangements to speak to some of the men about working for the camp. An hour later he met Norman and Wolfie who showed him around the boys’ side of the camp. He was impressed with the facilities that had every kind of musical instrument, sports apparatus and field. They watched as Lynx taught some boys how to play the guitar. Later, Bill took a twelve string and joined Lynx in a number of songs. They had a wonderful time. While they were playing, Rick, Jenna’s husband arrived and listened to the two of them play.

“You play like you are a professional,” Rick told Bill. “I used to have a band. Sometimes Judy, Lynx and I join up and practice together. Would you like to join us?”

“I think Janet has a lot to say about me joining you,” Bill replied. “I’m her boyfriend.”

“That explains your noncommittal at this time,” Wolfie said.

“It is not my noncommittal,” Bill answered.

“But you can’t commit until she does,” Norman noted.

“That sums it up in a nutshell. Do you have any advice?”

“Nothing we’ve done seems to work,” Lynx told Bill. “The only thing I could recommend is patients.”

“That is what I have been doing. I proposed to her two nights ago and I told her to let me know her answer when she is ready. I told her I already made the proposal and that she has to come and tell me she wants it. I don’t think pressuring her would work.”

“It usually makes here more resistant,” Rick added. “Say, why don’t you two have dinner with us tonight. Take that Tamar kid with you so Cathleen has someone to play with while we talk. Jenna is the closest to Janet in both age and friendship.”

They got out their cell phones and made the arrangements.

After the meal at Jenna’s the women did the dishes as the men talked and the children helped dry the dishes. Then the women sent the children to play in front of the men as they took a walk outside.

“I understand he proposed, and you said, ’no,’” Jenna said.

“I didn’t say ’no.’”

“What did you say?”

“I told him I didn’t know. I don’t know. Part of me wants to accept, yet part of me is afraid of what will happen. I don’t know if it is the only reason.”

“It is a big step. It is probably the biggest step you will ever take. Ask you some questions. You don’t need to answer me, but you need to answer you. Do you want to take this big step with Bill or without him?”

“I don’t know.”

“Would you be happier having him with you or not have him around?”

“I don’t know, probably with me. That’s the problem. I don’t know.”

“I’m trying to help.”

“I know but I’m only a little less confused than before.”

Over the next few days Bill and Janet did a number of things together, but finally it was time for Bill to leave.

“I need to do other things,” he told Janet.

“Please don’t go,” she said with tears.

“Give me a reason to stay.”

“I’ll be here.”

“I know. I can’t be here and not have you. It is not just the sex. You also need time to think and my being here will just pressure you. You fight pressure by resisting it. Just so there is no confusion, the offer still stands.”

He took her in his arms and gave her a kiss to remember him by then hoped on his Ninja and rode away. She was sad because she already missed him, but she also knew he was right. She would have the time to think. She knew that she would soon know what to do.

“Baruchah, Tamar said a few days later. “I wants to stay a liddle girl.”

“It’s fun.”

“Buts I goes back to being da big me in a few days.”

“Yous can stay a liddle girl if yous has a mommy,” Baruchah told her. “My mommy can keeps you dis way if yous has a mommy.”

“Is dat all?” asked Tamar. “I’s just needs a mommy?”

“Dat’s all, ‘cept dat yous and da mommy have ta agree.”

“You’re mommy’s a good mommy.” Tamar reflected. “Buts she’s no good. Yous has too many sisters.”

“I’s loves my sisters. Yous can join us.”

“Too many sisters. Aunty Jenna?”

“Cathy’s older sister died.” Baruchah explained as tears came into her eyes remembering Becky. “Jenna won’t have another. She still cries.”

“Oh.”

“Aunty Janet? I likes her the bestest.”

“No’s never. Janet’s no mommy.”

“Aunty Prue?”

“She may.”

“Aunty Holly?’

“Heather be her daughter just before we gets da magics. Dey needs time together.”

“Want to do da magics too!”

“Be in der fambly. Den grows up.”

“Aunties Kimmie or Gina?”

“Dey’s ok for doctors. Der kids still get sicky sometimes.”

“Aunties Emma or Cindy?”

“Deys and the others be good.”

“I’s still wants Janet as my mommy.”

“Others be bedder mommies.”

“Don’t wants bedder. Wants good.”

“Janet no do.”

“No way?”

“No way.”

Tamar looked dejected. She wanted the one mommy she couldn’t have. She started to cry and Baruchah held the hand of her friend.

“Don’t cry,” Baruchah told her friend. “I knows dat my mommy or one of my aunties takes you.”

“But I wants…” Tamar said as she spied Janet walking towards them. “Her!”

Tamar had a wide grin as she pointed to Janet who was walking past them.

“Where’s you going?” Tamar asked as she ran to Janet.

“To the unicorn breeding grounds.” Janet replied. “I am going to see my unicorn and her foal. The last time I was here she was pregnant and I missed the baby being born.”

“Cans I come?” Tamar asked.

“It is a very long walk,” replied Janet. “Too long for little girls.”

“I cans make it.”

“You will get tired way before we get there and it is too far to carry you.”

“I wants ta go,” Tamar insisted. “Peas, peas, peas, peas, peas!”

Janet sighed. She knew when a little one pleaded with the peas like that there was no stopping the child. Besides five peas make a pod.

“Would you promise to eat your peas if I let you come?”

“Yes,” Tamar agreed. “Eben da peas.”

“Give me a minute. I want to get a stroller. Just in case.”

“Otay”

“You go make pee-pee while I’m getting it.”

Tamar gave Janet a hug and happily skipped to the bathroom. When she came out she saw Janet with a stroller. In the stroller was a changing bag. Janet already knew that she should be prepared.

“Is the unicorn special?” asked Tamar as they stared walking.

Janet explained, “She is special to me because I was there when she was born. We own the property where the unicorns live so in that way they are our property. We allow the zoos to help with their upkeep giving the zoos enough money that they can hire the staff and still have money left over. We gain because they are experts. They gain because they have more money for their other projects and the ones they hire have jobs. We all win. That’s the best way to help others.”

“I likes that we’s can help.”

“That’s our job,” Janet added, not noticing that Tamar included herself. “Even I help that way. I do most of my work back at school. Although I sometimes get money for my expenses from those I help, I find that my greatest reward is the good feeling that I’ve helped make a difference.”

“I wants to help,” Tamar said proudly.

“Maybe someday you will.”

“Do you mean it?”

“There’s always that possibility,” Janet explained. “There would be a lot of learning involved.”

“Baruchah doos magic?”

“No.”

“Why nots?”

“She is too young,” Janet explained. “She is not ready to learn the why yet.”

“I cans do magic,” Tamar noted. “Eventually. Yous cans teach me.”

“It is not just how to do magic. That’s the easy part. It is when to do magic and also when not to do it and if necessary what to do.”

“Cans you teach me?”

“Perhaps when you get older.”

Tamar smiled. She was sure that Janet was promising to be her mother. She happily skipped for a few minutes as Janet walked towards the special coral that her unicorn stayed with her foal.

“Tamar come here,” Janet whispered. “I want you to see something.”

“What’s dat?” Tamar shouted as she ran to Janet.

“Shuush!” Janet whispered as she pointed. “Look over there through the leaves, a pair of baby raccoons playing.”

“Oh yeah,” Tamar whispered.

Janet held Tamar so the little girl would not disturb the raccoon cubs. She also knew that their mother could be close by and attack if she though her babies were in danger. Aware of the danger Janet knew she would feel miserable if anything would happen to Tamar so she put a protection spell on the girl.

After watching the cubs for a while they walked again for a few minutes, but just as Janet knew before, Tamar got tired and asked to be picked up. Janet picked the girl up and rocked her. Eventually, Janet removed the changing bag from the stroller, then placed Tamar in it and the bag on the handles and walked the last half with Tamar in the stroller. When she saw the fence and the unicorns beyond it Tamar got out of the stroller and ran to the fence. Janet calmly walked the final few feet, climbed the fence then picked up Tamar and took her over the fence.

“Biker Chick,” Janet’s unicorn walked over to Janet. Following along was her foal. Scared, Tamar hid behind Janet as the unicorns came closer. As Biker Chick got near, Janet took an apple out of her pocket. Biker Chick accepted the apple and the hug and pats that Janet gave her. Seeing the unicorn baby, Tamar got a little braver and slowly got closer to the little filly. The young unicorn walked towards the child. Tamar hugged the animal. The two babies acted like they would always be friends. Janet gave Tamar an apple to give to the filly. With help from Janet she gave the apple to the unicorn.

“Cans I have her?” asked Tamar after the apple was finished “Can I have da baby?”

“If you stay this way and if you are part of the family,” replied Janet as she started to brush the coat of Biker Chick.

“Yous da best mommy in da whole world!” Tamar said as she hugged Janet.

Tammy ran to the fence, climbed under it and skipped back to the camp to tell Baruchah the good news. In her mind, Janet had just agreed to be her mommy.

“Mommy?” asked Janet when she realized what the child said. “I think I have a problem.”

Still petting Biker Chick Janet pulled out her cell phone and called Jenna. To Janet the phone seemed to ring forever. Finally Jenna answered.

“Houston, we have a problem,” Janet said.

Realizing she needed to catch up with Tamar, Janet started climbing the fence to hurry back towards the main area of the Little Girls Kamp.

“I haven’t lived in Houston since I worked for Enron,” replied Jenna. “But seriously, what’s the problem?”

“Tamar thinks I will be her mother,” Janet said as she started to cry.

“Considering how you two have been together since her transformation I’m not surprised.”

“What do you mean?” asked Janet as she stopped to listen what her sister was saying.

“You have been acting like her mother since I introduced you to her.”

“I have?”

“You have been taking care of her just like I do with my Cathy.” Jenna replied. “Do you think Prue’s actions with Sara is any different then ours? Or Shelly with her girls?”

“Maybe I have,” Janet replied. “But I am not her mother.”

“Be honest with yourself,” Jenna demanded. “Didn’t you help Tamar be the little girl she could be and as a result she crawled into a special place in your heart? You’d miss her if she wasn’t a part of you.”

Janet thought about what her sister said and stopped. Jenna’s words hit a nerve that Janet didn’t believe she had.

“I don’t know and I’m not a mother,” Janet answered as her tears flowed like water.

“Where are you?” Jenna asked. “I’m coming over and we’ll straighten this out.”

Meanwhile Tamar had found Baruchah.

“Baruchah! Janet is going to be my mommy! And she said I could have her unik corn baby!”

“Dat means dat you is gonna be my cousin!” Baruchah shouted. “Wes gotta tell mommy!”

“We need to tell mum what?” asked Baruchah’s older sister, Ally.

“Dat Janet will be my mommy!” shouted Tamar feeling very happy and very proud to have Janet as her mother.

“Mum’s in the main building today,” Ally told them. “She’s the CEO today.”

“See E OH?” asked Tamar. I don’t see a “e” or a “o.”

“CEO means the chief executive officer,” replied Ally, Shelly’s other sixteen-year-old, as they walked towards the main building. “Mum’s running everything today.”

“Your sister sounds funny,” Tamar whispered to Baruchah.

“Ally came from far away. A pace called Engie Land,” Baruchah told her. “Dey say dey talk in English but dey say it funny likes. Like Ally says tings.”

“I talk bloody funny?” Ally asked. “I’ll get you!”

“Runs!” Baruchah shouted.

The little ones ran away from Ally as the older girl charged them.

“Come back you two!” shouted Ally. “NOW! We need to talk to mum and it won’t wait!”

“Promise you won’t do notin?” asked Baruchah.

“I promise I’ll give you a head start!” answered Ally.

“Wes gots head start!”

“I mean later,” replied Ally. “Now we need to talk to mum.”

“OK!” the girls told Ally.

Ally opened the door to the main building and ushered the two munchkins in.

“We need to see mum,” Ally told the receptionist. “Its an emergency.”

“She said she should not be disturbed,” the receptionist noted. “But I know the rules.”

The girls went into the main office and found Shelly saying things like, “Decisions, decisions. I hate this job. I don’t want to be the boss.”

Shelly, like most of the family hated to make the executive decisions. She would rather watch the kids, or work the nonsmoking clinic. She would rather be on the camp cleanup patrol or clean her bathroom than be the C. E. O.

“So what brings you here?” Shelly asked her children. “Hello Tamar.”

“Tell mum, Tamar,” Allison suggested.

“Baruchah saided I’s coulds stay a liddle girl if I’s has a mommy. Janet saided she woulds be my mommy!”

“JANET said that in those words?”

“Sort a,” Tamar explained. “She saided dat I’s learns magic. She saided I’s keep da unik corn baby. Den I’s comes and tells Baruchah. I wants ta stay a liddle girl and I wants ta hab Janet as mommy. She da best mommy in da whole world.”

“No mommy is!” replied Baruchah.

Shelly smiled with pride. Listening to that argument between the little girls would make both mothers know that they are doing something right with their children, except Shelly knew that Janet wouldn’t want to be a mother.

It was then that Jenna called Shelly on the phone, “Tamar thinks that Janet is going to be her mother, but Janet doesn’t want that.”

“Tamar told me. Bring Janet here while I get Holly, Kimmie and Prue. We’ll see what we can do. I’d hate to disappoint the kid. She seemed so happy and proud of Janet when she told me.”

When she got off the phone Shelly did a silent prayer asking the Boss to give her the wisdom to guide her sister and potential niece to a happy and loving conclusion, but she knew she was asking for a miracle. She then called the doctors’ office explained to Holly and Kimmie and told them to get to the CEO’s office as soon as possible. She then called Prudence who told Shelly that she would need to bring her Sarah with her, as she didn’t have anyone to watch the kid. Ally heard, and agreed to watch the children. A few minutes later Prue came into the room with Sarah.

“Come kids,” Ally told them lets go outside until the grownups have their meeting.”

Having heard the phone conversations Tamar asked, “Its about me?”

“Yes, Tamar, its about you.”

“I’s scared!” Tamar screamed.

Ally picked up Tamar and rocked her but the tears were already flowing.

“We’ll do the best we can,” Prudence explained. “But everything here is voluntary.”

“But I wants mommy!”

“We know, honey,” Shelly said. “I promise we’ll do everything we can to convince her, but it is up to Janet.”

A few minutes later Holly and Kimmie arrived still in their doctor’s white overcoats.

They saw Tamar crying and Kimmie said after they closed the door, “We got to convince her somehow.”

“I know,” Holly agreed.

When Jenna and Janet passed, Tamar cried out as she reached for Janet, “Mommy I’s scared.”

It was only after the door was closed that Janet allowed herself to cry.

“Janet, she’s afraid you won’t be her mother,” Jenna said.

“What about my fears? I’m afraid I’ll mess the kid up.”

“That’s my greatest fear also. You won’t be alone. All of us here and the rest of the family will help you,” Kimmie explained.

“Besides, your crying is the reason YOU need to be her mother,” Prue noted.

“I can’t,” Janet responded. “I can’t be tied down. Not now. I NEED to finish school.”

“So you’ll be ready in about forty years?” Holly asked.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Janet explained.

“Children don’t come with an owners manual,” Kimmie explained. “We do the best we can. I’ve asked advice from mom and our sisters and they’ve asked me. Believe me when I tell you, you’re not alone. We’ll do the same for you.”

“But it will be hard to raise Tamar.”

“I won’t kid you, Janet,” Shelly explained. “Helping a child become an adult will be the toughest job you’ll ever love.”

“But we turned out ok,” Jenna added. “So mom and dad did right with us, and you will do right with Tamar.”

“NO! NO! NO!” Janet exclaimed. “I can’t do it!”

“We’ll help,” Holly added. “It takes a village to raise a child. I know that Heather is happier that we’re a big family.”

“The same with our kids,” Kimmie added.

“And with us,” Jenna noted.

“And our husbands,” Shelly told Janet.

“Husbands?” Janet asked. “I’ll have a husband? How much worse could this get?”

“That guy William that you have been hanging out with the last few days,” Jenna explained. “We know he proposed to you and is willing to be Tamar’s father.”

“I can’t.”

With nothing settled, Shelly told Janet, “You created this problem. YOU tell Tamar you won’t be her mother.”

Sadly, Janet barely shook her head, “yes.”

“If there is nothing else to discuss,” Shelly said. “Let’s get this over with.”

Everyone at the meeting looked unhappy, but there were no tears, yet. Janet walked out of the room first, followed by Holly, Jenna, Kimmie, Prudence and finally, Shelly.

Standing in front of Tamar, and with tears in her eyes, Janet says to her sisters, “I can’t. I can’t tell her I won’t be her mother.”

“Why not?” asked Holly.

“Because I lo…”

Janet stopped. She realized what she was about to say.

“Yes, I love her. She DID crawl into my heart. I’ll probably regret this for the rest of my life. Make her my child before I change my mind again, and I can’t do this alone. I need Bill to help me.”

The women changed Tamar to Janet’s daughter. Janet felt something heavy on the ring finger of her left hand. When she looked she found engagement and wedding rings. Around her neck her “me” charm changed to the “mommy” charm that all her other sisters wear and the “me” one materialized around Tamar’s neck. The Hugglebug charm bracelet that all the females in the family have also materialized around Tamar’s wrist.

Janet picked up Tamar and told her as she dries Tamar’s eyes, “I do love you, kitten.”

“Mommy no calls me kitten before,” Tamar told Janet.

“Well, I’m the mother cat and you are my kitten.”

Tamar held her hands like she had claws and roared making the adults and the kids laugh at Tamar’s antics. One of the voices laughing was one Janet hadn’t heard in years.

“Mom?” asked Janet as she turned to the voice with her daughter still in her arms.

“Yes, dear,” her “mother” replied. “Your daughter introduced me to your nieces as we waited for your meeting to end. We had fun. Didn’t we Baruchah and Sarah?”

“Yeah,” replied Sara. “I likes Tamar’s odder grandma.”

“She may be here for a long time,” Prue told her daughter as she picked her up. “I spoke to Tamar’s grandma earlier and she should be working here. Tamar’s daddy and other grandpa are at the boy’s camp discussing things with your uncles. They will be working here too.”

“Dat means yous stay!” Baruchah shouted to Tamar as they hugged each other and Sarah joined in.

“Yeah, and mommies too!” Tamar added just as loudly.

“I don’t understand,” Janet whispered to Prudence.

“When you changed from Bill Davenport to Janet, you saved your former mother’s life, as William’s birth date was moved back a year. Because of this when your mother became pregnant she had medical insurance and the doctors found the problem in time. All your mother-in-law knows is that she was very sick, and that the doctors were able to cure her. But she doesn’t know that in the other reality she didn’t make it.”

“Guess I gave myself an added bonus,” Janet replied. “And its only one kid.”

“Not if your mother-in-law has her way,” Kimmie whispered to Janet. “She couldn’t have children after your Bill, so she wants you to be like Shelly.”

“Over a dozen children? No way!” Janet protested. “And I’m finishing school so I’ll have to transfer from Georgetown to State.”

“It does take a village to raise a child.”

Epilogue: Two mornings later Tamar got out of her bed. That woke the puppy that her parents bought for her the day before and was sleeping with the child. She took her Raggedy Ann doll and the puppy into her parents’ room climbed onto the bed and lay between her folks. None of them knew it at the time that there were five of them in that bed, four humans and a dog, because nine months later Tamar became a big sister.

Notes:

We thank Davenport for being such a good sport and his comments, Holly Logan for her suggestions as this story developed and her editing, Maggie O Malley for her encouragement and allowing me to use a version of her story, “Sweet Dreams,” Pippa for her suggestion of playing with the unicorn plushy, and The Professor for not claiming any special rights with the Roman Pantheon.

There is a quote from Shakespeare. It is in both “Romeo and Juliet,” and one of
The “Henrys.”

This is the third story in the “Little Kids Kamp” universe. It is an open universe with restrictions.

Just a little ditty to keep my poetic license. Besides, all's fair in love and war.

 

A Prince's Tale
By shalimar
Copyright 1964, 2001

In days of old
This prince was bold
with women undercover

He had to confess
He'd wear a dress
If he fought another

A war broke out
There was a rout
He had no horse to ride

You could understand
Our prince he ran
He had to save his hide

He met a witch
No ordinary bitch
She saw our prince's fear

He lost his pride
"I've got to hide
Or they'll kill me over here."

And with a motion
She gave him a potion
That he quickly drank

What was sad
Is it smelled bad
You could even say it stank

After a while
The witch did smile
And said to him quite plainly

"Step outside
You don't have to hide
You're now Princess Jamie"

Knights rode there
"They're everywhere"
Including one called Bart

You understand
She saw that man
And had a flutter in her heart

Just one thing
Bart was King
Of the other Kingdom

She married the bum
Gave him a son
Now there's just one kingdom

 
 

 

A coven of witches in college has convicted and sentenced John of raping Alisa, a member of the coven. Now the sentence is over, but John is still protesting his innocence. Can the coven find out the truth? Do they want to?

WARNING: contains graphic description of a rape and a murder. They can be avoided without losing the idea of story.

Please forgive the abuse of my poetic license.

Idea for story came from 2 of Elrod W’s stories.

 

“There, it is done. You are back to being a man again. Now go.” The thin 5’4” girl wearing a white ruffled top and black skirt 2” above her knees turned to leave.

“Wait!” The force of his voice made Maria turned around, her wavy brown hair swirling.

“Why did you do it? Shit! Where you having fun? Just because you have that damn power?”

“We turned you into a woman so you could experience what it was like for Alisa when you raped her.” she replied stonily her hazel eyes cold as ice. “She was a virgin.”

“As far as I know she still is.”

“What do you mean you think she still is?”

“We never had sex.”

“Is that what you call rape?”

“Nor did I rape her.” He was quiet now.

“She showed us the bruises.”

“Not from me! Damn it!”

“Then, who?”

“I don’t know. I was with her about a month. The last time I saw her she was all over me, needing sex and smelling of it. It took all my willpower not to drop my pants.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“I told her I had no condom, I was not ready to be a father and I was also waiting for the right woman. She asked me if she was the right woman and I told her she might be.”

“Then, what?”

“I held her face rubbing my thumbs on the back of her cheeks, moved my forefingers to her chin, kissed her, dried her tears with my thumbs then told her, 'You’re very tempting, but not now,' and left. It was one of the hardest things I ever done. I left. I heard something crash immediately after I closed the door. I admit my manhood was ready, but we never had sex. That night I jerked off. In my dorm!” Then he whispered, “Besides, I couldn’t.”

“You are impotent?”

“I have four sisters.”

“You have four sisters,” she slowly repeated, mulling that fact.

“And two brothers. My family will be devastated.”

“You wouldn’t lie to get our sympathy.”

“I could get what I need at the rape crisis center. Your coven violated me by having me raped.”

“If what you say is true we made a really big mistake.”

“No fucking shit! Have a nice life.” He started to walk away.

“You had me listen to you just now, so please listen to me. If she did this we also have a problem.

“Why should I care?” What could she do to me?”

“We tried you without you allowed a defense. That’s against our rules.”

“That is a problem.

“Alisa reported the rape.” Maria carefully smoothed the back of her short black skirt and sat on the low red brick wall. “The police are looking for you.”

“Good bye, medical school. Fuck! I’m going to pay for a rape I never did.”

“Are you willing to prove your innocence by being forced by magic to tell the truth to my coven so we can judge both of you?”

“Yes.”

“You know if you’re guilty, we can do worse to you.”

“I won’t need a lily pad.”

She smiled. “You need a disguise until I speak to the sisters in the coven and set the trial.” Her smile became an evil grin. “It would protect you for the few days we need to get everybody together. Can you wait that long?”

He nodded. “I have the rest of my life.” John was 5’9”, has tight abs, broad shoulders, but wiry. He should fill out nicely when his 19 years eventually gains full manhood. He had light brown hair and a darker bead with a hit of red in it.

She pulled out a key with a hot pink ribbon looped through it. It was long enough to go around the neck “The only place I can protect you is in my dorm room.” He watched as the key and ribbon separated into an identical pair.

“Mr. Happy might like it, but I don’t think many of the girls would appreciate a male in a girl’s dorm.”

“I’ll use a duck spell.” He questioned with his eyes. “If it looks like a duck, smells like a duck, waddles like a duck, swims like a duck, and flies like a duck it is a duck. That is, if you are willing.”

“Will I be female?”

“No, you will only look to others as a normal female member of this dorm. They will treat you like any other woman in the dorm. To them you will walk, dress and act like one, too. It is only a projection. You will still act male, except I must suppress your sex drive for the duration and in the dorm you will respond to a girl’s name. The other girls will perceive your actions as female and the suppressed sex drive will prevent a hard on such as when we’re wearing just panties and a bra, or even less. Besides, if you’re lying it will protect the girls.”

“You don’t believe me,” he said softly.

“I’m not sure.”

“At least you are open. I need to stay abreast with my classes. I’m trying to go to med school.”

“During this time when you leave the dorm you will just be a blank face, more like a shadow most of the time. This is the best I can do, John.”

“Then I accept. Let’s get some sleep.” They walked to the dorm. “When I became male again I had the sense you were all in black.”

“You are right. When it was formed, this coven wanted the dress of the public’s perceived idea of a witch. It is now tradition. I changed my clothes just after you became male again.”

 

Chapter 2

In the morning, John got up did his ablutions, and ate breakfast in that girls dorm. Later he realized that neither he nor the girls though there was anything odd. At the end of the day, he trudged back to the girls’ dorm. The lounge and cafeteria areas were filled with about 100 girls in various stages and types of dress. Some were sitting in chairs and some were standing. Some were eating dinner, while others were talking, reading, writing, typing or a combination of these activities. Most of the conversations were about understanding the material, classes, boys, dates and what to wear. Some were fixing up their makeup.

As John went through the throng, Karen Collins, a sophomore, known as KC, noticed his tiredness, walked up to him and asked, “Tough day, Ruth?” She was dressed in a maroon 3/4 sleeve crew top and pink cropped jeans. She was 5’ 2” with black curly hair and dark blue eyes.

“It’s my six hour day with no break. This time, by the fourth hour I couldn’t concentrate, which is unusual for me. Even a late lunch didn’t help revive me. All I want to do is flop for a while and then do some studying. Fortunately, I didn’t have any labs and recorded the lectures, so can review them later.”

He walked to the elevator. She followed him, grabbed the backpack and carried it for him, “I’ll go with you to your room, get you into your undies and pull the cover over you.”

“You are a Godsend.”

“Besides, I have to go up. I have a date tonight and need to get ready, anyway.”

As she helped him into bed, he realized she was a sweet girl, someone who he would like to get to know better. But, he would have to wait until after he will be found innocent.

“Are you awake enough to help me decide between the two outfits?” the 19-year-old girl asked.

“Sure, bring them in.”

She returned in hot pink panties and matching bra, and held a dress in front of her then a skirt outfit. “Well?”

He didn’t know which to choose, “What effect do you want?”

“I want Brian to make love to me.”

“Brian Jones, the tight end?”

“Yes, isn’t he gorgeous?”

He smiled. He knew Brian too well. The other jocks called him, “Love them and leave them Brian.” Startled out of his stupor by his fears for her he sat on the edge of the bed but away from the door, looked at her, and hemmed and hawed between the two outfits to give him time to think. He decided to start neutral, “Do you have protection?”

She blushed and looked towards her toes, “I’m a virgin.”

‘Oh, boy, this is a tough nut to crack,’ he thought. “What kind of commitment did he give you?”

“Commitment?”

‘Worser and worser.’ He was becoming more and more afraid for her. “Put the outfits down and sit by me.” She did what he asked and he put an arm around her shoulder, rubbing it slightly. “KC, you can not make love to him without either strong protection or a firm commitment, like a wedding date.”

“But, it will be my first time.”

‘Lamb ignores the wolf.’ “I wonder how many students, faculty and staff on this campus are the result of mothers, grandmothers or great grandmothers who claimed it was their first time. You could become an unwed mother from this.”

“I can get pregnant from this one time?”

‘This lamb still needs its mother’s milk.’ “Yes. You have to tell him, ‘no’.” He pulled her into a little squeeze. “Promise me.”

“But he wants to make love to me.”

‘And every other girl on campus.’ “Make him wait.”

“And if he won’t wait?”

“Then he is not the one for you. I suspect, though, things will work out. If he really wants it, the longer he waits the more he’ll want it with you. The more he wants it with you the more he’ll make a commitment.” He rubbed her arm again. “Make him chase you until you catch him. So, promise me you won’t.”

“Promise.” She gave him a kiss on his cheek.

“A promise is a promise,” Maria said behind them.

“Maria! You’re back! Neither of us could decide what she should wear on her date tonight. Perhaps you could help?” His eyes pleaded.

“The skirt and top,” Maria suggested. “Now, go get ready, KC. Ruthie and I need to talk.”

After Karen closed the door behind her, Maria explained, “The skirt and top gives him more to work on, if he tries to seduce her.”

“I don’t know if she’ll hold out.”

Maria sat down beside him. “I gave her some resistance strength and another protection spell.”

“Thank you. How much did you hear?”

“Almost all of it. This Brian Jones…”

“…has a nickname, ‘Love them and leave them.’ That’s why I’m afraid for her.”

“She’s a very bright girl, but with men she’s such a ditz. I’m surprised you know so much about the interaction between men and women.”

“I told you, I have four sisters. They talk to each other. Being in a house that crowded, I sometimes overheard parts of conversations. Sometimes they invited me in and I listened and commented as best a brother can do. Sometimes it was one on one. Same with my brothers. I love all of them, and would protect them even to my dying breath.”

Maria began crying.

“So, you realize now you made a mistake,” he consoled as he put his arm around her. She nodded. “I forgive you. Also, thank you. Not having met her before I noticed she is helpful. When she came in wearing only her panties and bra I saw she was pretty. Then when we talked, I wanted to lock her in her room and keep the key like an overprotecting parent, but that would only make her want him more. For the first time other than my sisters, I treated a girl like a person.”

He smiled, “Not seeing her as a potential sex partner. I liked that. I wish I could treat men and women like the true people they each are instead of fighting guys for dominance and treating girls as sex objects.”

“You are a good person, John Mayer.”

The next night John had another nightmare of his rape, shouting in his sleep, “Help, help.”

Blearily, Maria jumped up and woke him. She held him and soothed him saying, “It’s alright; it’s alright.” He was crying as he awoke. “Want to talk about it?”

“I relived the rape again.”

“What happened?”

Haltingly he said quietly, “G-d, I was raped. It was awful. He broke down the door as if it was cardboard, grabbed me, held a knife to my throat and told me to lie down on my bed. I was scared. To make sure he meant business he cut me on the neck just enough to draw a little blood. He pushed me on the bed then grabbed my wrists and tied me to the bed. While he was doing that, I resisted and he punched me in the mouth. I think some teeth became loose. He cut me on the cheek. Then he tore my clothes off. He punched me in the ribs, then for good measure the stomach. I had difficulty breathing. When he clawed my breasts it was like…he was going to scratch them off.

“Th..then he entered me. I was still closed and I felt my insides rip apart. He left laughing.” Maria winced a few times while he said that. “I felt used, humiliated, helpless and dirty. The pain from the beating was excruciating, but nothing compared to when he entered me.” His tears were flowing. So were Maria’s. “I still feel dirty.” Then he laughed, “I could do Lady Macbeth’s ‘out damn spot’ with meaning.”

“Talking about it, getting the pain out and joking afterward is helpful. Eventually it’ll get better.”

“But how long will I take? Will it ever go away?”

 

Chapter 3

Maria found out early the next day that the coven would meet at ten o’clock that night.

When they left, Maria was dressed in a crew top having full sleeves and a buttons. She added a billowing skirt that went down to the floor and a cloak just as long. They were all black including her panties and bra. “This outfit that shows I am second in command of the coven. I earned it by my ability to lead and end conflicts, not because I am a very powerful mage.”

“Who is your head?”

“Alisa.”

“Figures.” John wore the same jeans and green t-shirt that he wore on the night he allegedly raped Alisa. He wanted to use them for courage.

“Nervous?”

“Extremely.”

“Do you want to still do this? You can always back out, no foul.”

“I must go through with it.”

It was dark out when Maria took John to her car, and asked again, “Are you still willing to do this?”

He responded, “I am innocent and will prove it.”

She told him, “I must put a blindfold on you and tie it with a scarf. This will cover your eyes and prevent you from seeing. While I am driving, I will make a number of extra left and right turns to further confuse your sense of direction. We cannot afford for you to know where we meet when the coven must unite.”

He accepted the blindfold and Maria helped him into the car. The trip took about an hour. True to her word, she made so many turns that in the end he couldn’t tell what direction he was going.

Maria asked during the drive, “Why are you trying to be a doctor, besides why not?

“When I was twelve my sister, Elizabeth, got very sick. She’s two years younger than me. I was told she had cancer. When she came home from the hospital, she was tired. At the beginning, she slept and she needed help even to use a bedpan. When I was allowed I came and visited her in her room. I helped feed her and read to her. Eventually she got better, but she lost so much time from school that they didn’t promote her that year. She told me constantly how much my feeding and reading had meant to her. I began to realize that I made a difference in Beth’s life. Now I want to make a difference in other peoples’ lives in a positive way. Don’t get me wrong. I ain’t perfect. But, I want to do more good than harm.”

She finally parked on a quiet street and helped him out. She told him, Hold out your hand and I will take it.” When he did she said, “Walk this way.”

“How can I walk that way when I can’t see how you’re walking?” he joked.

They had walked him about 100 steps when she told him, “We are going on a ramp. Please hold me tight.”

“Yes, dear,” he teased. She looked angry but being blindfolded he couldn’t tell.

On top of the ramp she said, “You may still back out. Once we’re inside you are committed.”

“I can’t wait. Let’s go in.”

She opened the door and helped John to the center of an inlaid brass circle on the floor. Outside the circle was a five pointed inlaid brass star.

Inside the circle, she removed the blindfolds, and he was blinded by the bright lights, like the previous time he was there. He didn’t know who was talking, except he could recognize Maria’s voice.

Maria left the circle, went behind the bright lights to her spot and said in a formal tone, “Madam Chair and those present, three times I asked if he was willing to be here and three times he agreed, although he did not actually say ‘yes.’”

One girl spoke, “John Mayer, are you aware that we will have the truth tonight and we could do worse to you if you have wasted our time?”

“Yes.”

Another asked, “Are you willing for us to bind you to the truth on matters of the incident in question and accept the consequences?”

“Yes.”

A third asked, “Will your words be true and will you accept your part in the incident?”

“This I swear. ‘If a man takes a vow to G-d or swears an oath to establish a prohibition upon himself, he shall not desecrate his word; according to whatever comes out of his mouth shall he do,’’ he quoted. “To use your formula, ‘yes.’”

Then Maria chanted a poem, “John,

Then two others repeated Maria’s chant. The next three began, “By the right thumb on the left cheek.” Otherwise, it was the same. The next three had left thumb on left cheek, and the last group had left thumb on right cheek, thus making the three by four mentioned in the poem.

Then, one woman spoke, “This was to insure you don’t have a forked tongue and lie out of each half.”

After she spoke, Maria began again, “John,

The chant was repeated by the other eleven.

He turned around in a circle as he spoke, “What do we do now?”

“We wait.”

“For Alisa?”

“Yes.”

“May I talk?”

“Not about anything remotely connected to the incident until she is as bound as you. She was the original accuser. Now you accuse her of creating a lie. We need the truth for us to do justice. There will be no revenge.”

“Fair enough. If I need it, may I have a chair?” A chair was brought just inside the circle by one of the girls. He took it to the middle and asked, “How are you getting Alisa here?”

“We’re telling her there is an emergency meeting.”

“Very clever and simple,” he remarked, “If I had known there would be this delay I would have brought a book to study. Just one question for now, do you need to have a certain social or ethnic background to belong to your coven?”

“No, for example in religion, one of us here is Muslim, another Jewish, a third is Buddhist, two are Catholic, three are Protestant, and two are Wicca. The others sometimes go somewhere, but usually not. Except the exact religious and ethnic and social makeup of the groups, it is true with all the covens.”

“To answer your implied question, full abilities seem to be a recessive gene, only manifested in females during their late teenage years. Having one gene is, commonly called, women’s intuition. Men with one or both genes are often called 'lucky.' As we told you, there are other covens on campus. We were once larger, and another time, smaller. We are considered a junior coven because we are on this university campus. We are world wide and fairly common.”

While this was being said, one woman walked to the door, opened and closed it. The other eleven women moved around and talked in hushed tones. He sat quietly. An hour later, the woman who had left returned with Alisa, who preceded the chauffer as if Alisa was royalty. At 5’5,” Alisa walked straight as if she had a ramrod down her back. She had an angelic heart shaped face with blue grey piercing eyes that seemed to be looking through to one’s soul and seeing the evil in it. She was dressed in black with a black on black embroidered cloak and had a tiara fixed in her hair. John stood up when he saw Alisa and offered her the seat. She stopped, frowned and sneered when she saw him, “What is he doing here?”

“We’re here to know the truth about the events surrounding the incident that you claimed was rape,” Maria responded. By then it sounded like the other girls had returned to their positions.

“It was rape.” Alisa was already inside the star.

“Get in the circle and we’ll see.” There must have been magic previously set because she seemed to be fighting to keep her feet from entering the circle. They each repeated the “circle bound” chant, adding Alisa’s name before saying it. When that was finished, they did the “thumb on cheek” chant the same way it had been done to John. All the time Alisa growled at John.

“As you, John Mayer, say you were unjustly accused and accuse Alisa of creating a lie,” Maria stated, “We will ask the questions of you first. When did you meet Alisa?”

John replied, “It was two months ago when, as I was studying in the library she sat down at the table I was working at and began studying. Maria, when I told you what happened I thought it was just a month. I’m sorry. During the hour, we struck up a conversation and she gave me her number. She left me immediately. She passed me and touched the middle of my forehead with her left forefinger.”

“Who started the conversation?” another voice asked.

“Sheeee…did.” He was surprised.

“Why did you hesitate?” came a third voice.

“I originally thought I had started the conversation. There is a difference between my memory before I came here and what actually happened. I thank you for letting me see the truth.”

That third voice asked, “Do you wish to let the sentence stand, or do you wish to continue?”

“I must know the truth.”

“Are you sure it was the left forefinger?” asked a fourth.

“Yes. Is that important?”

“Maybe,” she responded.

“You took her on a date?” asked a fifth.

“About two weeks later, not the next weekend, like I thought. It was more her taking me. There was a dance at the school that Saturday night, and she invited me to it. I danced with her, then with the crowd. She seemed to disappear. Damn. My implanted memory was that I took her and told her I had a good time and kissed her. Yet, I understand now, she wasn’t around at the end of the night. Each question you ask clears my memory. I don’t know how close to the truth my implanted memory is.”

“Did you or anybody else do anything unusual?”

He hesitated then said, “I danced with a guy acting like I was his female partner and I kind of liked him and we talked in a quiet place. I did not remember that until now. I am embarrassed. I believe that I am a normal heterosexual male. I do accept the gay, lesbian or transsexual situation could be right for someone. Except for this one incident, it was never my thing. Oh my G-d! I was female. I remember the hot red dress I was wearing, ending three inches above the knee, the slight constriction of the bra on my breasts, the butterflies in my stomach and much more. I remember rubbing my leg against his and I gave him my number. But, the horror was not me being female. The horror was that I was changed without my knowledge or permission.”

“Maria stated, “I forgive you, for your memories that seem to have been altered. Why we’ll find out.”

“Two weeks later, she took me to a movie,” he continued. “I am drawing a blank as to what the movie was, the characters or anything about the movie. I sense that I was in a daze and stared in front of me. My memory before this truth spell was that I took her to dinner and a movie. With the true memories we had no food. My new memories sense a blue vase barely in my vision off to my right. We made out but it was only heavy petting. Again, I was female. She was a balding, thirtyish male.

“When it was time to leave, I kissed him, that is her, on the mouth by the door of the location we were at and walked back to my dorm. Yes, it was a very strong kiss. Some of you might consider it sensual or even hot. I heard my older sister, Sarah, call that a claiming kiss. I believe the guy, that is Alisa, did the claiming.

“The next time we met on a date was the incident. She again initiated the date, although my previous memory said otherwise. We were to see a play. When I knocked, she opened the door and invited me in. She wore a very revealing dress. My body made a slight reaction to her looks.

“She said we have time and offered me a drink. An alcoholic drink. I’m under age and only refused because I thought I was going to drive. I’m being honest here, otherwise I would have taken that drink.

“She suggested I sit on the couch. I did and she attacked me, wanting and smelling of sex. I gently pushed her off me and got up. I told her that because of my goal, I couldn’t risk being a father now. I rubbed the back of her jaw with my thumbs to sooth her and told her I would do it with the right woman when the time came. She asked if she was the right women. I told her maybe she was. She was crying and I moved my thumbs to her cheeks and dried her tears with them.

“I then gave her a light kiss and said goodbye. I opened the front door and as I was closing it, I heard her say, ‘You won’t get away with this.’ After I closed the door I heard something crash and break, probably at the door. I walked back to the dorm under a very large full moon. I saw the beginnings of a lunar eclipse. I’m not sure if that was important other than to mark the date and time. In the dorm, I jerked off, as I was still stiff and knew I would have blue balls in the morning. I was already beginning to hurt. After I cleaned up, I showered, studied for an hour and went to sleep.

“The next thing I knew, Maria was returning me back to being a man after the rape done to me.”

“You say you pushed her off you, gently,” came a voice he wasn’t sure if he had heard before. “Where was she when you stopped pushing?”

“On the couch. She had fallen back with her back on the other armrest.”

“Then what?” she continued.

“I got up off the couch and she awkwardly got up trying to grab me. The rest, the kiss and leaving, I’ve already told you.”

“Did you punch her in the ribs?”

“No.”

“Could she have been injured by falling on the armrest?”

“It is well cushioned. I doubt it. I’m not sure.”

“When we saw her she had cuts all over her body.”

“I could only speculate. Perhaps from what broke. Besides, I had scrapes on my back.”

“She had a tear at her vulva and semen in her vaginal cavity. The DNA test showed it was yours.”

“I don’t know how. We never copulated.” Then he whispered, “Nor did I rape her.”

“This movie that you supposedly saw, what were you doing during the picture?” asked a difference voice.

“I was sitting on a soft chair or maybe a couch. I was staring ahead and seeing virtually nothing, except that blue vase in my peripheral vision, off to my right.”

Another voice asked, “Did you expect to have sex?”

“No, I considered our relationship casual dating, at least until she invited me in the last time. I didn’t even have a condom.”

There was about ten seconds of silence.

Then Maria spoke, “Are there any more questions?” Her request was followed by silence.

After a pause she asked, “Is there anyone trying to figure out a point?”

“Yes,” replied a new voice. “You say that the moon was full and a lunar eclipse began. How do you know?”

“The moon was turning red and darkening. It looked like it was about a tenth in the Earth’s shadow. I would have watched it if I didn’t need to take care of my hard on.”

“You also say the moon looked extremely large.”

“It looked twice the diameter we normally see it.”

“Thank you,” she replied.

“Anyone else? We have all night, but the morning might interfere with classes.”

“John, you told Maria there were four dates. We only heard three. Why?”

“I never meant to deceive. The four was my implanted memory. The three is the truth, like everything else we discovered. I still apologize.”

“I’m clear,” replied a voice. Ten more times the women declared they heard enough from John.

“Let us now question Alisa,” Maria began.

“You have no right,” replied Alisa. “I am your leader.”

“We are determining if you purposely hurt John and possibly us. All of us are subject to our laws, even you. Was what John said true?”

Alisa kept her mouth shut.

“We have put a required response spell on you. Don’t make us make it stronger. It will be very painful. It might even kill you.”

She gritted her teeth, “Yes, as far as we were together. What he did without me I don’t know.”

“Did you choose him?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“He was always at classes or studying. He also had the aura that he could do magic if he was female. I considered him the best candidate.”

“Candidate or victim?” asked another.

“Semantics.”

“Was he the only one?”

“I considered a number of men on campus. I thought he was a nerd.”

“Candidate for what?” again, a different voice.

“To…take…his…male…essence…and…his…unused…abilities.” She was still fighting giving any answers.

“Why?”

“It would have enhanced my magic powers and gives me the abilities he would have had.”

“Was a large full moon important?”

“Yessss.”

“How?” Getting answers from Alisa was like pulling teeth.

“The moon was very near its perigee. It greatly enhances my receiving his male essence and increasing it.”

“And the eclipse?”

“An added bonus, like the perigee.”

“Was there a rape?”

She hesitated, “No.” John released the breath he didn’t know he held.

“Then why did you tell us there was?”

“To get even.”

“What did he do?”

“Not have sex with me. That prevented me from getting his essence and male power.”

“Why did you put your left finger on his forehead?”

“I was claiming him for my task.”

John asked the group, “May I ask a question?”

“Of course,” Maria said.

“Why the false memories similar to, but not the truth?”

“To make you think we were falling in love.”

“Why?”

“It would be easier to conquer you. You’re just someone who could be used. You could not understand.”

“Enlighten me, anyway.”

“I need power. First, I had to gain leadership of this coven. That I have. You spoiled my next immediate goal, controlling this coven. My next goal would have been controlling other covens until they were all under my power. Then I would control the world. That is what you did to me.”

“I did nothing, except not fall for your tricks. Are there other victims?”

“Yessss.”

“How many?”

“Nine, not counting the one I killed.”

“You killed someone?”

“Yesss.”

“Why?”

“She had the essence and was about to gain her ability because of her age.”

“So, you planned the killing?”

“Yesss.”

“That makes it murder,” said a voice.

“Murder.” He put his head in his hands and requested, “Someone, please, take over. My anger is so strong it might overcome our peace bond. I want to wring her neck. I need to calm myself.”

“What did you do to these nine?” came a voice.

“I took their male essence and their sleeping abilities by changing their male parts to female ones while having sex with them.”

“Were they female afterwards?”

“That was the best part. They still looked male, but when we had sex, I entered them with my penis in their new pussy. After I took them, they acted female and had female sex drives. In three months, they would have their first period. However, if they got pregnant they would quickly turn into women. Their probable gay male partners would become heterosexual, enabling a normal marriage. I did that for the children.”

“You have a penis?”

“Only when I take these men. The sex is more enjoyable that way. I enjoyed busting their cherry.” Some of the girls gasped. “You don’t like my crudeness?”

“I am ashamed,” John told her. “Why did you choose them?”

“They would have had the magic if they were female.”

“What are their names and where do they live?” asked a girl.

Reluctantly, Alisa gave them the information.

“And the one you murdered?”

“It was not murder.”

“Humor me.”

“I became Alisa, a sixteen-year-old girl.”

“What happened to the original Alisa’s body?”

“I buried it in a forest about ten miles from my new home.”

“How long ago?”

“Twooo and a half years.”

“You just murdered her and took over her life?”

“I killed her.”

“Did you kill her and just bury her, or did you do some other things?”

“I cut out her heart, cooked it and ate it. I also drank a cup of her blood.”

“Why did you do these things?”

“The book described these things. I needed to be female with some abilities.”

“Book?”

“A book of magic I found after years of research.”

“Where is this book?”

She hesitated, trying not to answer, “Under my bed between my box spring and mattress.”

“How did you get the semen from John?”

“I used the DNA from my scrapes on his back and his fingers.”

“The cuts and bruises?”

“I created them before the cops arrived. I didn’t know they would hurt.”

“Do you have any regrets?” asked Maria.

“I didn’t succeed with John.”

“Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive,” quoted John.

After some silence, Maria asked, “Are there any other questions?”

Silence.

“If not, we have decisions to make.”

“I move,” said one voice that had not previously spoken. “We extract the magic essence from Alisa, immediately.”

Alisa, shouted, “NO!”

Then came the second to the motion.

Maria asked, “Discussion?”

“You can’t do this to me!” came a protest from Alisa.

After nearly a minute of silence, a voice he had heard before said, “I move for a vote.” It was seconded.

A voice requested, “All in favor of the resolution to strip Alisa of her magic immediately signify by saying, ‘Aye’.”

There was a chorus of feminine sounding “Ayes.”

“Nays?”

Just Alisa.

“Abstain?”

Silence.

“Not voting?”

Silence.

“Recording secretary, please note which girls had made the resolution, seconded, the move to vote and it was twelve to one.”

“What woman will take Alisa’s magic from her? She must be strong enough to resist the lure of power.”

There was silence for about fifteen seconds. Then slowly and hesitantly, John began to raise his hand. The last half he raised it quickly.

“Do you realize what you are doing?”

“I hope so. I can’t let her get away with what she did. She is dangerous. It is not, just because of what she did to me, but also to the other ten. If someone doesn’t take her ability to do magic then others will suffer and eventually she will conquer the word. I can’t and won’t let that happen. Our freedom, and everyone else’s, wouldn’t exist if I let it go.”

“You realize that in addition to having the magic you will become female.”

“I know. I must take away her magic. She is too dangerous with it. I only ask that I have help from all of you in both being a woman and controlling the magic, especially if I get angry. As far as power is concerned, I seek no authority here, but will accept it if no one else will take it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Ask me three times or three thousand times; I will still accept the challenge. Yes, yes, and yes.”

“Is taking this novice acceptable to the rest?”

The answer was a chorus of “ayes.”

“Anyone objecting?”

Only Alisa said, “Nay”.

“Not voting?”

Silence.

“We will accept you, John Mayer, upon completion of the transfer.”

Then mats suddenly appeared in the circle, giving the floor some cushion. Maria came forward, put her hands on top of Alisa’s head and said, “Alisa,

Maria then went to John, put her hands on him and said, “John,

Eleven more times the hands were placed on their heads and those two poems were spoken. Each of the eleven apologized to John before chanting the poem on him. Alisa and John both collapsed into a trance when the last words were spoken. The recording secretary, Helen, noted they were out for 22 minutes and 17 seconds.

When they awoke Alisa was a 34-year-old balding man named Gary, wearing a crá¨me dress shirt and grey stripped pants. He had brown eyes and hair. He had long canine teeth, but we know there are no such things as vampires.

John became Ruth, 5’4” having dark brown hair with a hint of red, yet, otherwise a feminine version of John. She was dressed in the same black flowing gown surrounded by a magnificent cloak that Alisa came in with. She felt something in her hair. She sat up and moved her hands over her now shoulder length hair. She removed the tiara from her head and the cape from around her neck, held them in front of her and announced, “We need a new leader. I nominate Maria.”

“Yes,” came the chorus of women.

Helen asked, “Maria, do you willing take on the responsibilities and obligations of your office?”

“Yes.”

“Will you be responsible to us as our leader?”

“Yes.”

Not until after that last “yes” was the proposal seconded and quickly adopted.

“I believe these things belong to you, Maria.” Ruth offered the tiara and cloak to Maria who stepped forward, took off her cape, placed it on the chair and knelt before Ruth. Ruth placed the tiara on Maria’s head then fastened the cape around her neck. Maria rose, her mouth neutral.

Ruth put her hands in Maria’s and said, Maria, “You are now our leader. Please be humble. May your reign be for good.” She gave Maria a hug and kissed her on both cheeks. They were both in tears.

Ruth realized there was a small problem, “Maria, you apologized to me in private. Please, for your sake and the sake of the coven, do it again in front of the other girls. As our leader you must be willing to admit mistakes publicly within the coven. Also, we need to know that the apologies and my forgiveness are unanimous.”

“I apologize for what we did to you and not believing in your innocence. I hope soon we can eliminate the horrors of the rape you suffered.”

“As I told you in the dorm, you are forgiven. Maria, and the rest of you, my new coven sisters, I realize why I was originally found guilty.”

“This cape,” Ruth continued, holding it folded in front of her, “recognizes your second. Please choose one of the others. As you said when I accepted this challenge, I am a novice and therefore not qualified.”

“I choose, Khadisha.” Khadisha came forward and accepted the cape.”

“We must prevent Gary from finding us or using revenge,” Maria told the coven.

Thirteen women, beginning with Maria and ending with Ruth went to him and said, “Gary,

Maria told Gary, “You are now free to go.”

“Wait!” Ruth exclaimed.

Gary stopped in his tracks and turned around. With venom he spat out, “What?”

“Everyone apologized but you. Is there no remorse?”

“You ruined everything.”

“I ruined everything? What about the rape I suffered? What about the other nine you ruined? What about the girl you murdered? Their friends and families? What about these twelve sisters that I now claim a bond to that you violated the rules and deceived? You still show no remorse. I suspect you will try again to regain the power.”

“You did not forgive me.”

“And if I did, would you reform?” Gary was silent. Ruth’s voice was soft, “As I thought. Only I have the right to forgive the hurt another did to me. You have not apologized.”

“I’m sorry. Satisfied?”

“Mean it,” she replied softly. Gary gave no answer. “When you do I’ll consider it.”

“I will get even with you, bitch. And these other twelve losers with you.” Everyone gasped.

“We were going to let you go, and watch over you. I see there is no alternative, though. Today, we have not gotten through that thick skull you have. I hope someday one of us will. Besides, that ‘b’ you used should have been a ‘w’.” Then Ruth asked, “Do I have the right to do this?”

“There was a chorus of, “Yes.”

“Are there any ‘nays’ or not voting?”

Silence.

Ruth started to use her powers for the first time. She was amazed she knew what to do, as if she always had these powers, “Gary,

Then she told his fate with the hint of redemption, “We will find the nine you have hurt and have them testify of your rape of them. It is not vengeance. I want you to go away for a very long time to make others safe. If I see you have reformed, then it is possible I will forgive you and reduce your sentence. Now get out. I need another hug from these women.”

He left. Outside they heard officers shouting, “Halt! You are under arrest!” then running, a scuffle, followed by other police activity. After the hug, the girls finally walked out and saw Gary handcuffed and being put into a police car. The red and blue lights from several cars were flashing.

The coven recovered the book that night before the police secured Gary’s, formally Alisa’s, house. On a beach the next day they had a barbecue, using the pages of the book to light the wood. Even the binding went up in smoke. That summer they took the ashes, traveled by boat to the Gulf Stream near Florida and dumped the contents overboard.

 

Epilogue

Ruth graduated college Phi Beta Kappa and salutatorian and went to a prestigious medical school. When she was an intern, she met and married William Salomon. Eventually, they went into research. With her skills, she tweaked their experiments towards the right path, so they had major results, several times. They shared the Noble Prize in Medicine. As of this writing, they have four children and ten grandchildren. Ruth still works for a rape crises center. Ruth and William also worked privately with some transsexuals. Bill knows about Ruth’s abilities.

Of the other nine who were “raped” by Gary two had recently given birth to children of their husbands and were happily married. One was showing signs of becoming female and being pregnant. She was engaged to be married. The other eight, Ruth and her coven sisters helped celebrate the nuptials. The other six were divided at their request: two became completely female and four completely male. The same gang was at each marriage of the six. They are happily married, are now all grandparents. Fortunately, none needed assistance, except a little help in coping. The six new females joined their local covens.

All twelve of the other women married and had interesting careers. They became more cautious about using their powers.

KC eventually married Brian, a love match. He played for the NFL and received a pension. So did one of their sons and a grandson.

Gary was convicted of Ruth’s rape, the drug charges and seven other rapes of the nine. He received harsh consecutive sentences. In prison, he was raped several times and died of AIDS, contacted from one of those rapes. He never repented. There was not enough evidence to convict on the murder charges, or even a lesser charge. Although she was willing before his death, Ruth could only forgive him at his grave.

 

Notes

This story was inspired by Elrod W’s:

“The Consequences of Date Rape”
http://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/readtextstory.html?storyI...

and

“Date Rape Aftermath.”
http://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/readtextstory.html?storyI...

They are found at Fictionmania.

“out damn spot” is spoken by Lady Macbeth from Shakespeare’s “Macbeth,”Act V. Scene I.

The biblical quote is from Numbers 30:3. I used the Art Scroll translation, except I changed “Hashem” (means the Name) to “G-d.”

The forked tongue and lying is based on a quote by President Truman about Nixon:
http://listverse.com/2007/12/19/top-25-quotes-of-harry-truman/

see # 8.

Neither the above quote nor anything in this story should be assumed that I support any political, religious or social view other than noted in other parts of the notes.

The tangled web quote is from Marmion, 1808 by Sir Walter Scott

“Only I have the right to forgive the hurt another did to me.” is based on a concept that Eva Kor, a survivor of the Mengele medical experiments on twins at the Auschwitz Death Camp during WWII. She calls it a form of Tikon Olom (usually translated to “repairing the world,” but it more than that.) As of this writing, Mrs. Kor is still living and tells her story and message of forgiveness at the C.A.N.D.L.E.S. museum in Terre Haute, Indiana 47802. She forgave one of the doctors.
http://www.candlesholocaustmuseum.org/

For a better understanding of Tikun Olom, see Hillel, If not Now, When by Joseph Telushkin pgs 47-58, especially second paragraph on p 47.

Note: the notes of the Mengele experiments were destroyed on orders of the Nuremberg Trials judges to help prevent future similar experiments.

This story is dedicated to Robert Mandresh, DPM, and the rest of the group that took care of me during my operation, hospital stay, and recovery that occurred while I wrote this story.

Holly Hart edited and proofed this story.

An Unusual Chanukah Visitor

by shalimar

Note: The transgender element is from previous stories.

It was the sixth day of Chanukah, the first day of the New Moon and Christmas morning. Maggie woke up first and because it was her third day off from school and the Christmas recess. She was raring to go.

Jumping out of her warm bed she adjusted her lavender Lady and the Tramp nightgown then put her furry kitten slippers on. She looked towards her sister, Baruchah who was still in bed still fast asleep. Baruchah was, as these two five-year-olds say, Maggie’s fat-turn-all twins.

“Not fat!” Baruchah retorted. “Mommy’s fat!”

“No she’s not!” responded Maggie before she giggled and ran off followed by Baruchah.

“I guess I could lose ten pounds,” Shelly thought out loud as she called those twins to eat their lunch.

If her husband, Steve had heard Shelly he would have asked his size six wife, “Where?”

Maggie smiled as she remembered the incident that happened as long ago as yesterday.

“GET UP!” Maggie shouted as she jumped on her twin’s bed.

“Wanta slee…” was Baruchah’s response as she drifted off again.

“Hey, sleepyhead, Sanity Clause is coming today!”

Baruchah popped her head up, “Sanity Clause? I forgots Sanity Clause coming today!”

With such an honored guest she had to get up. She turned to face her older twin and gave her a hug. Older is a relative term, but in the world of five-year-olds ten minutes is a big deal, especially when you “hab ta” respect your elders.

Baruchah adjusted her Kelly green Belle nightgown then grabbed Maggie as they ran out of the bedroom. They first used the bathroom because they knew one of their older sisters would hog it to take a “lazily bath.” Then they started on their mission of waking the rest of the household.

Their first victims were their four-year-old twin sisters, Barbara, and Raquel. The older twins woke them up quietly because little Michelle, at two and Hiawatha, one, also slept in that room. They didn’t really know how to change Michelle’s diaper and the one-year-old Hiawatha would be more of a hindrance than a help. Besides, those two younger pixies were better at waking up the family than the twins were. The four of them woke up their older sisters in the next room.

“Leave me alone,” Stephie cried as she pulled the covers over her head. “I had a date last night.”

“Mama!” Issey, Stephanie’s younger twin, shouted. “Those brats won’t leave us alone!”

Stephie, at thirteen, had been going out for a while with Sean, a boy down the block. His friend, Roger, was a little shy, but was willing to go out with Isabel. The boys had returned the girls to their home about eleven, so these twins weren’t too happy to be woken up at the crack of dawn. The good news was they went back asleep in seconds.

Now the bad news:

“But Sanity Clause is coming!” Rocky exclaimed as she shook Stephie.

“Let him come. I want more sleep,” replied Stephie as she did just that.

Barbara and Baruchah continued to try to wake Issey, but the older sister responded by throwing a pillow, hitting Maggie.

The little ones took the challenge as they understood it to be: “PILLOW FIGHT!”

The younger ones attacked viciously. Andrea, a year older than her early teen twins, also had her bed in the room. She was happily dreaming about her date the previous night and was lucky enough not to have been woken up until after the girls started throwing pillows. She woke when she was hit several times by Rocky several times with her plush doll elephant, Barber.

The noise of the fight woke nine-year-old, Kay across the hall. Seeing that it was a pillow fight she woke her twin, Karen Anne. Both entered their older sisters’ room armed with pillows, and because they were neutrals, attacked everyone as they giggled.

When the fight was over, the three older girls were awake, much to their dismay. The older twins looked at each other and shook their heads, “no” but were still smiling at the antics of their innocent, but still mischievous younger sisters. Isabel went from her bed to Stephanie’s, then the two held their hands out to give the little ones their hugs. A few seconds later, Andrea joined them in the bed and the hug suggestion, which was followed by the little ones getting their cuddles. The bigger girls leaned against each other so in a sense it was a giant cuddle party.

“Come on! Help us wakie the others!” cried Maggie after a while.

That startled the three older ones awake again.

“We’s gots ta get everyone ready fir Sanity Clause!” Baruchah continued.

“Oh, yeah?” asked Karen Anne.

“Don’t,” pleaded Stephanie as the little one climbed out of their hugs.

“They need their sleep,” added Isabel with a yawn.

“Yous gots ta come along,” Barbara pleaded.

“We got ta get ready for him!” Kay added.

The six babies were already out the door.

“We’ll be along in a minute,” Issey replied before yawning.

“Or two,” added Stephie as she closed her eyes.

“Uh huh,” agreed Andrea breathing deeply.

Or, in their case, closer to sixty as the three of them fell asleep still leaning against each other.

While Kay and Karen Anne went back to their bedroom to get dressed the smaller ones focused on the next oldest twins’ bedroom. Ally and Elsa had put a note on the doorknob that said, “DO NOT DISTURB,” but as luck would have it, the two littlest munchkins couldn’t read, and the two older ones were just beginning to.

“What’s it say?” asked Barbara.

“I’s tinks the last word is, ‘WELCOME!’” replied Maggie.

“Must say, ‘Come in, Welcome,’” added Baruchah, convinced her older sister knew what she was talking about.

Baruchah tried the doorknob and opened the door. The door squeaked loudly on its hinges as the four allowed themselves into their older sisters’ bedroom. At sixteen, Alison and Elsa also had dates, and to make matters worse for the invading little sisters, they had talked for over two hours with Andrea, Stephanie and Isabel, sharing all the details of what they did with their boyfriends when they got home.

“Wakie up!” the imps shouted as they entered that room.

“Uh huh,” was Elsa’s response as Ally just groaned and turned over.

“SANITY CLAUSE IS COMING!” Baruchah told Ally as she shook her.

“You still have smelly pretty on you!” Maggie told Ally.

“Uh huh,” Ally replied as she hugged that set of twins in self-defense.

“GETTY UP!” the other two shouted to Elsa.

Elsa’s response to the innocent troublemakers was the same as Ally’s.

“Please getty up!” was Maggie’s plea.

“Yeah, getty up!” added Raquel.

“Are you kittens hungry?” Elsa asked as the sleep fog lifted from her brain.

“Sanity Clause is coming!” Barbara insisted.

“Yeah, dat’s more portant!” added Rocky.

“Santa Clause will come later,” Ally explained. “He and his wife are guests at out Chanukah party. Our cousins and some of our neighbors will be there, too.”

“But we’s gots ta get ready!” Maggie protested.

“Let’s see,” Ally continued. “We have the geese ready for the oven.”

“And we’re making the latkes,” added Elsa. “There’ll be potato, zucchini, and spinach ones.”

“And the donuts!” added Ally. “Don’t forget the donuts.”

“Will he be coming too?” asked Maggie.

“Who?” asked the confused Elsa.

“The donut making man!” Baruchah explained.

“I don’t know,” replied Ally. “You girls want to help make the latkes and donuts?”

“Yeah,” the munchkins shouted in unison, making the older girls wince.

“Well, Ally and I will sleep for another half hour. Then we’ll feed you. Then you’ll help us,” Elsa explained. “How does that sound?”

“Want ta help ya now!” Baruchah responded.

Elsa sighed. She knew that her sisters would not let them rest until everything was done, but she still kept her eyes closed as she held her sisters close.

“Come on, Elsa,” Rocky implored. “Wakie up!”

“If you play quietly and let us sleep a little longer,” Elsa suggested attempting a compromise. “We’ll let you stay in the room.”

“No getty up NOW!” was Maggie’s response.

While that was happening Kay and Karen Anne went across the hall to the bedroom occupied by Angela and Amelia. These eighteen-year-old twins were the oldest children still living at home. Their dates had taken them to concerts in the city the night before and they were lucky their parents didn’t say anything last night because they came home after one in the morning. Kay and Karen Anne bounced on their sisters’ beds, which jolted the older two awake.

Angela grabbed Karen Anne in defense and said, ”I have a living doll in my bed. I guess I have to cuddle her.”

“Looks like I got one, too, Angela,” Amelia replied immediately after she did the same to Kay.

“Maggie and Baruchah and Rocky and Barbara are waking up the entire house,” said Karen Anne. “And we’re helping, too. They said that Santa Clause is coming to visit.”

“Yeah, and they will come when everyone else is coming,” Angela replied.

“But we have to get ready,” Kay insisted.

“We will, but we had dates last night,” Angela noted. “And I’m still dreaming about my handsome dreamboat.”

“Then we’ll wake up mommy and daddy,” Kay claimed as she started to get out of the bed. “Come Karen Anne.”

“Please don’t” Amelia pleaded. “They said they were going to try to make another brother or sister.”

“They’re going to do some magic?” Kay curiously asked.

“The magic will be in their eyes,” replied Amelia.

“Don’t understand,” Karen Anne said after thinking about what Amelia said.

“You will start to in about two years,” Angela explained.

“Anodder, ‘when you get older,’ Karen,” Kay noted.

“But don’t rush it,” Amelia continued. “Being a kid is fun.”

While the six were doing their hardest to wake the entire house, Michelle woke in her crib.

She was happily playing for a few minutes with her plush dolls when she heard a tiny voice call out, “Shell!”

Looking over to the crib next to her she saw her younger brother, Hiawatha who told her, “Stuffys!”

That was the signal for them to throw all their stuffys into each other’s crib. They were laughing and had a grand time, but sometimes the stuffed doll didn’t reach the other crib. Eventually all the toys were on the floor.

Hiawatha knew that there was only one cure for that, “Waaaaaa!”

Michelle held her ears before helping her brother with her similar cry for help.

In the bedroom down the hall, their parents, Steve, who is also called Norman in the extended family, and Shelly heard the crying. After groaning awake, Shelly tried to get herself up.

“Let one of the other kids take care of them,” Steve told her as he tried to keep her in bed.

“They had dates and were up to all hours,” she replied.

“But we were up to all hours, too,” he complained.

“It was my job to keep you up,” she told him as she put her leg over the right spot to emphasize the point. “But our littlest ones need us, and I might as well make breakfast for the children.”

And with that, she got up, put on her robe and headed to the source of the crying. Despite being just as tired, Steve was only a few steps behind her. When they got to the room they saw Karen Ann taking Hiawatha out of his crib and Kay taking out Michelle. Both girls checked the babies’ diapers. The girls’ scrunched up noses told their parents that they had a doody to perform.

As Shelly and Steve went to take care of their children, Karen and Kay both said, “I want to do it.”

“How about this, kids,” Steve suggested. “I’ll stay here to help you if you need it while mommy starts breakfast.”

“OK,” the twins agreed as they proceeded to clean their siblings.

“Where are Barbara and Raquel?” Steve asked when he saw the beds empty.

“They’re helping Maggie and Baruchah wake up the house,” Kay replied.

“Why are they doing that?” he asked, not really wanting to know.

“’Cause Santa Clause is coming,” Karen explained.

“He’s coming when the other guests arrive,” he explained.

“But we have to get ready,” Karen noted.

“We have plenty of time,” Steve insisted. “Most of the guests won’t be arriving until 2 PM. Some like your sister, Rachel, and Aunt Janet will be here early to help. And you can see your sisters’ dates cause they are all invited, including their parents.”

“Oh!” was Kay’s response.

“Guess we didn’t have to wake up anyone,” replied Karen Anne.

“No, you didn’t,” Steve noted. “But we’ll all survive your mistake.”

“At least the pillow fight was fun,” Kay added.

“Pillow fight?” Steve asked.

“Oh, oh,” Kay and Karen Anne responded together.

“Oh, oh,” Hiawatha echoed.

After inspecting the result of cleaning the babies, Steve gave the girls the go ahead to apply the powder and diapers before Steve gave the older girls new outfits to put on the babies.

Meanwhile, Shelly had got the exact number of bowls out of the cupboard and brought out the various cold cereals that the girls usually ate. She put bottles near two of the highchairs for Michelle and Hiawatha then got out a few pots for the ones that wanted hot cereal instead. Her husband and the children drifted into the kitchen over the next hour and ate their breakfast.

“Have a light breakfast,” Shelly warned. “We’re having a heavy meal this evening. Also, girls I need you to start helping.”

She went to the large refrigerator and took out the geese, turkeys and brisket that would become the meat for the meals. The giblets were put into a pile for the potato latke stuffing.

Rachael arrived a few minutes later with her husband and children. She put little Sara in the playpen to play with Michelle and Hiawatha before starting to help her mother and sisters with the preparations.

A doorbell later, Jenna, showing her six-month pregnancy, arrived with her family and was given the task of preparing the latkes before they were cooked. She was then put on little childcare duty, which included allowing the little children to feel their future cousin. By then Janet, also pregnant, and William had arrived with their little Tamara and they were given the task of getting the donuts, cakes, cookies and rugula at the bakery across town.

While this was happening, Maggie and Baruchah decided it was time to get dressed.

“Where dose dresses?” Baruchah inquired as they looked in their closet.

“Dey must be here somewhere,” her twin replied, before looking up. “What’s in dose boxes up dere?”

“I dono”

“Dats where dey is!”

Maggie dragged a chair over to the closet and climbed it carrying a stick. She leaned over, moved the boxes and

CRASH!

ALL the boxes on the closet shelves came down. Fortunately, they fell far enough away from them that they weren’t hurt. Opening the broken boxes they finally found what they were looking for.

The crash was heard by the older folks downstairs making Angela and Stephanie run to find out what was happening. Seeing the young twins playing dress up and the mess in their room, Angela stayed with the innocent troublemakers while Stephanie ran to tell their mother what happened. Shelly cleaned herself up from her cooking preparations before finding out what happened herself.

When she arrived she said, “Angie, Stephie, clean your hands then help your sisters pick up this mess.”

“Why us?” they asked in unison.

“Because they can’t do it themselves and you’re here. I’m needed more in the kitchen. Sorry, I’ll owe you one,” she replied before she went back to supervising the cooking.

Over the next few hours the guests arrived. Some were family, like Holly, her four adult children, her four little ones, and her great and grandchildren. Others were guests like almost all of their synagogue, most of their children’s classes and neighbors. Each was greeted with enthusiasm.

Just after Claus St. Nicholas arrived he started talking to Shelly’s twin brother, Steve, who is know as Wolfie in these gatherings because he and Shelly’s husband had the same first name.

Shyly, Baruchah and Maggie went up to Claus St. Nicholas, “Sanity Clause?”

“Yes, Baruchah,” the bearded man replied.

“Ders dis girl in me and Maggie’s class dats not happy today.”

“Kennedy!” added Maggie. “Her daddy no works no mores most of da year so she won’ts get no prezzies dis year.”

“What about the presents I gave her?”

“She no believes in you no mores,” Maggie explained. “She says dat does in da stores are just some guys dressed like you.”

“Some are, Maggie,” he explained. “But some help me with a list of children that need me more than others.”

“Like mommy when she gave ya dat paper way back in da summer?” asked Baruchah.

“Like that list. Your mommy and daddy can’t do everything. Even I can only do so much.”

“Yeah, ya gots ta do something!” Baruchah begged.

“Ya gots ta,” Maggie agreed.

“What do you want me to do?” asked Claus.

“Wes gots ta go ta Kennedy’s house and wes gives her dat doll she weally wants,” Baruchah suggested.

“Dat way shes believes in ya,” Maggie added.

“I believe my nieces have the beginning of an idea, Claus,” Wolfie suggested. “Maybe with some help for Kennedy’s father what we do might just work.”

“You’re right!” Claus slapped Steve on his back. “But I don’t know what to do for Kennedy’s mother.”

“We’ll decide what to do when we get there,” added Steve, excited. “Does Kennedy have any brothers or sisters?”

Maggie thought then admitted, “I don thin so.”

“Nope,” Baruchah said. “She once saided we’s was lucky to have so many sisters, cause she’s alone.”

“Humm,” Clause said with a smile. “I have an idea.”

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” asked Steve. “If you are then we have to make sure she wants it.”

“How’s your sight?” Claus inquired.

“Better than Shelly’s and almost as good as Jenna’s.”

“Then kids, get your coats and lead the way,” suggested Claus.

When Shelly found out that her twins were on a mercy mission, she helped her munchkins with their coats, hats and scarves. By that time both gentlemen had explained their mission to the rest of the party and were ready to brave the cold weather. Claus carried a small red bag as the four walked the three blocks to the Harper residence. Actually, Baruchah and Maggie ran back and forth while the men walked and talked. When the four of them arrived on the Harper’s Block the twins ran to the house and rang the bell several times until Mr. Harper answered. Mrs. Harper was right behind him.

“Is Kennedy here?” asked Baruchah breathlessly, with a cheerful smile.

“Wes gots Sanity Clause wid us!” added Maggie still breathing hard.

“Kennedy!” he shouted into the house. “You have visitors!”

Excited, the five-year-old ran down the stairs and then to the entrance, but stopped at the door disappointed by who her visitors were that Christmas day.

“We come with Sanity Clause and he’s bring you a prezzie!” Maggie smiled.

“There’s no Santa Claus,” Kennedy replied in a flat voice.

“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus,” Claus replied to the young girl just after he arrived at the door.

“My name’s not Virginia,” Kennedy explained.

“I know,” Claus continued. “It was an editorial in response to a letter written by a girl named Virginia many, many years ago. In a way, that editorial was the truth.”

“Before we go any further, let me introduce us,” Wolfie added. “I’m Baruchah and Maggie’s Uncle Steve, sometimes called Wolfie, and this is my friend, Claus St. Nicholas.”

“Roger Harper, and this is my wife, Colleen. I believe your nieces know our daughter, Kennedy. Where are my manners? Please come in.”

“And we’re here to give all three of you some presents so you will have a better holiday,” Steve continued.

“All of us?” asked Mrs. Harper.

“We’ll start with the original little girl that brought us here,” Claus continued as he put his hand into the red bag he had brought with him. “I believe this doll is the one you want.”

Kennedy looked at the doll in the box. It was exactly the one she had wanted more than anything else in the world. She gave Mr. St. Nicholas a great big hug and kiss as her tears ran down her face.

“You said you have something in there for all of us?” asked Roger.

Clause put his hand into the bag again, and brought out some papers, “For you, I believe I have your dignity. I suspect this position would fit both your skills and your income needs.”

“Wow!” Roger replied as he briefly looked over the material.

“Call them tomorrow to arrange an interview,” Steve added. “You can start on the second.”

“I don’t suppose you have anything in there for me,” Colleen said. “It looks empty, now.”

“You’re right. It is not in here,” Claus noted. “But because your husband can support you again you will have someone else to love. The two of you will create that love tonight.”

“That’s not possible,” she replied. “I was damaged when Kennedy was born.”

“G_d told Sarah that she would conceive when she was over ninety.”

“Are you saying there will be a miracle?”

“Then I’d really be Santa Claus. Besides, each child is a miracle.”

“That’s so true,” Colleen replied as she gave Claus a hug then smiling put her hand around Roger’s arm.

“But Santa Claus doesn’t exist,” Kennedy protested.

Roger bent down to his daughter and explained, “I don’t know if this man really is Santa Claus. For the time being I will believe. If he isn’t, the spirit of Santa Claus lives within him. Keep that spirit with you, Kennedy. That’s how Santa Claus will live.”

“These gifts, especially the one for you, Colleen are not from me,” Claus added. “They are gifts from G_d.”

“There is one more gift we wish to give you,” Steve added. “Please join us at the Chanukah party we’re having at my sister’s home.”

Although he knew that the invite was the second request, he acted as if it was the first. Colleen gave her husband a squeeze on his arm. When he looked she smiled.

“Can I bring my new baby, too?” asked Kennedy.

“Sure, wes cans play wid our sisters and cousins,” Baruchah noted.

“And friends, too,” added Maggie.

“How should we dress?” asked Roger?

“What you are wearing is good enough,” Steve told them. “So grab your coats and join us.”

“Let me put on some makeup,” Colleen requested. “Kennedy, do you want some lipstick?”

“Yeah, mommy.”

A few minutes later they were ready and returned to the party. The Harpers mixed well with the others. Colleen joined the ladies lively discussions in the kitchen and dining room. The men, of course, discussed the latest things about sports, cars, home repairs, and work before settling down to watch the NFL games until dinner. The teens tried to find quiet corners to make out while the little kids, being kids, ran throughout the house and back yard.

After dinner was ready and put out, the Chanukah lights were lit by the littlest children. As the oldest of her generation, Holly led the blessings. Baruchah and Maggie helped Kennedy light one of the candles. That made Kennedy grin.

Jenna’s baby was born March 12, Janet’s on July 19, Colleen’s on September 25. Shelly had another set of twins on October 25.

Happy Chanukah

Merry Christmas

Happy Kwanzaa

Happy Solstice

Another Star Wars Scenario

by shalimar

Please don’t throw too many rotten tomatoes at me for this one.

Finally, Luke Skywaker was captured and brought to the Emperor in loose chains.

“Luke, we have ways of dealing with rebels like you so you won’t ever be a problem again,” the Emperor told his prisoner. “It will also give my men some, shall we say, entertainment. Let me show you.”

From a side door came this beautiful young woman. She appeared to be a little younger than Skywalker.

“Her pheromones have been enhanced,” the Emperor explained.

“Must I?” she asked the Emperor.

“Of cause you’ll obey me, my sweet.”

“I’d rather do it with you. Besides…”

“That’s not important.”

She put her head down and steadied herself. They heard a slight sniffle. Picking her head up she sexually walked towards Luke who was happily reacting to the view of this luscious young lady. She put her hands on his chin and kissed him deeply. He started groping her.

“Luke, you can’t,” she pleaded as he continued. “Please stop.”

He didn’t.

Finally she explained, “Luke, I am you father!”

At Least It Could Have Been Worse

by shalimar

When this started, it was late August 2005 and I was Barry Nardella, a stockbroker living alone on Long Island, NY in my co-op bachelor pad. I was making tons of money, but not satisfied with my life.

I had met Jenna about two years before that because of something I had written and posted on a website. By emails instant messages and finally by phone she told me how important my writings to her. Eventually we became close friends and although this was long distance and although I was only able to see her down in Lufkin, Texas a few times, we were becoming lovers. She came up to New York for the first Christmas and New Year’s Holidays, but she said she would never again come up North in Winter again. However, she did come again during the spring and fall.

At least it could have been worse.

Eventually, I found out that she always wanted to run a Cajun restaurant in her hometown of Lufkin. As that it is in East Texas, the city is really is on the border of the Cajun region and I thought it might be a great idea as I had eaten some of her Cajun dishes both here in New York and down in Lufkin.

I told Jenna that she should look for a location for that restaurant and I would pay for her to open it. It took several months, but she finally found a place that she believed would be an excellent location. It also had two apartments in the back, so she and her slightly invalid mother could live at the restaurant. It appeared ideal, but it had only problem. The property was for sale, and not for rent. When she told me the price of the property, I said we would buy it and she would run the restaurant. I even toyed with the idea that I should do my brokerage work out of Lufkin, instead of New York.

At least it could have been worse.

For the closing I decided to fly from La Guardia down to New Orleans. I would eat dinner at the Andrew Jackson and sleep in the downtown Hilton. My itinerary included renting a car and then travel to and from Lufkin. The car trip would only take a day, and Jenna assured me there were a few good hotels in the area that I could stay in if I didn’t want to stay at her home. Her offer was nice and I believed at the time that I would stay with her as long as I was in Lufkin, which was what I always had in mind.

At least things could have been worse.

As the drive to the airport was about 45 minutes, I decided it would be best if I took a taxi. I left, giving myself three hours to get to the airport and check in. That should have been plenty of time, but as luck would have it, the taxi broke down on the Grand Central. It was actually blocking traffic. By the time its replacement arrived my plane had just left.

Not knowing what to do, I went to the airport and explained my situation. I was able to get another flight to New Orleans about five hours later. I called Jenna and explained the situation and that I would be delayed a day. I also told her that I would wire her the money for the restaurant and property just in case I was delayed further. She was disappointed, but she understood.

I arrived in New Orleans late that night but still had my reservations available to me at the hotel, including the extra night’s stay that I needed. At the desk was a note from Jenna telling me that the money had arrived in her bank. Because of the time, I ate a simple meal at the hotel and missed eating at one of the best restaurants in the country.

At least it could have been worse.

I knew if I was to try and drive to Lufkin at that hour I would probably be stranded half way there or get into the town very late, so when I woke up around noon I decided to walk to Bourbon Street and the downtown area and take in the sites as New Orleans was a very pretty town with loads of history. In the evening I went to that famous restaurant I mentioned before, and was rewarded with the excellent food and service I expected. I only missed having dinner with my girlfriend, Jenna that night.

At least it could have been worse.

Because I missed the flight my car reservations had been canceled and they had no other vehicle available for me. So I called around and found a relatively unknown rental agency called, Rent a Wreck. The best way to describe their vehicles was old and in some situations looked like the wrecks the name of the place admitted. In fact, the best car I was able to get was a 1972 Charger that seemed to have a suped up engine to outrace a police vehicle. I knew that I would need to hold the reins of those horses tight in order not to get ticked by a Smoky hiding behind something.

At least it could have been worse.

I decided the best rout was to take I-10 to Beauford and then take the interstate up to Lufkin. Getting on the highway was easy having done this trip before, but the roads were heavier than I anticipated. The scenery was its usual flat and wet country that I had gotten used to, but it was windy. Fortunately the wind neither increased nor decreased as I traveled. What I was experiencing was the effects of the hurricane known as Katrina, but because of the direction I was traveling I was in the same part of the storm throughout the trip.

At least it could have been worse.

About thirty miles east of the Texas border the car began to shimmy. I pulled off the interstate and found a small gas station that did repairs.

The attendant put the car on the lift then told me, “You’re lucky. The “A” frame needs to be repaired, and quickly. If you had driven another ten miles you probably would have gotten into a bad accident.”

He showed me the problem by easily moving the front tires up and down and sideways.

“No wonder I was having trouble steering the car!” I told him.

Not knowing what to do I called the rental agency and received no answer. I assumed the car rental had probably evacuated because of Katrina.

“As far as the repair is concerned, either the rental company will authorize it or I will,” I told the owner of the gas station. “So get on it right away.”

“The repair itself will take about two hours.”

“Great.”

“But I don’t have the part.”

“How long will it take to get the part?”

“Hopefully within two days. There’s a hurricane that’s making things difficult.”

“Are there any car rental places in the area?”

He thought for a while then said, “Not that I know of.”

“Can you sell me a car?” I asked hopefully.

“Nothing I have is finished right now.”

“Hotels?”

“The closest ones are near Beauford,” he replied.

“I need to get to Lufkin. My girlfriend lives there.”

“You’re a Yankee.”

“And one of your southern belles stole my heart. I got even. I stole hers.”

“For that remark I’ll let you stay at my place for the night.”

“I don’t want to put you out of your way.”

“No problem, I don’t live with anyone so there’s plenty of room. By the way, my name’s Clem.”

“Barry. And, thank you. Is there a restaurant nearby?”

“No need, my sister will feed you.”

I sat in the reception room of the repair shop and waited for Clem to close up shop. I heard him on the phone getting the part then he called a lady that I assume was his sister.

I thought I heard him say, “This one will do.”

As I was on the phone at the time with Jenna and telling her that I will stay at Clem’s place that evening and I should be on the road again hopefully the next day, but I wasn’t exactly sure. She offered to pick me up, but I told her the roads were wet and very difficult to drive even this far away from the eye of the storm and by the time she could get here the repair should be done.

At least it could have been worse.

Having no other repairs, Clem closed his shop around six. We rode in his truck about a mile to a rambling farmhouse. I realized when we got there that I didn’t bring my suitcase. Although he was bigger than me, I was hoping that Clem has something that would fit me for the night.

At least it could have been worse.

“This is my sister’s home. I live in the house in the back. Although I own part of the farm, her husband does most of the work as I’m usually in the shop. I usually eat dinner with them,” he said as we entered the farmhouse.

As he introduced me to his sister, Andrea, I shook her hand. I did the same with her husband, Phil. Their sixteen-year-old daughter, Melissa just waved hi to me.

We sat down to the dinner table and Phil led us in grace before we ate. The food was excellent. There were string beans and potatoes for the vegetables and a strange, but tasty meat.

We were almost finished with the main portion when my curiosity got to me, “This meat is wonderful. What is it?”

“Gator,” Phil replied. “I shot the critter this morning. Guess the Hurricane drove it inland.”

“Still delicious,” I lied to him as I mentally puked.

After dinner, Andrea said to me. “There is a slight price for eating at my table, Barry. I need you to help me do the dishes.”

“No problem,” I replied as I got up to help her. “That meal is worth more than washing a few pots and pans.”

We talked as we cleaned the dishes. Although what Andrea said to me sounded more like gossip, I was listening with great interest. Never before did I think that hearing about other people like that would be interesting to me. The talk helped the time go by faster.

As we were drying our hands, Andrea asked me, “I didn’t notice you bring in a suitcase. Is it still in the truck?”

“I realized I forgot it when we got here.”

“Clem’s not going to go back for it. Let me see what I got for you. Come up to the bedroom with me.”

“Thank you. Will your husband be jealous that I’m going up to the bedroom with a pretty lady like you?”

“He’ll think nothing of it, but thank your for watching out for my honor,” she said as we climbed the stairs.

We entered a bedroom with a queen sized bed in it. She went to one side of the bed and opened a bottom draw and seemed to be rummaging for about a minute.

“I know it is in here someplace,” she said to me. “I put it there about a week ago. I just knew I would be needing it.”

“Can I help?”

“No, you don’t know what I’m looking for.”

“All I need is something to keep me warm during this storm.”

“Ah here it is,” she said as she pulled put something that was pink and had flowers on it. “This should fit you.”

At least it had long sleeves.

“It’s a lady’s nightgown!” I protested.

“It is clothing and it will fit you,” she insisted. “Besides no one else will know and you’ll be out ‘o here tomorrow. Try it on, sweetie.”

“Well, OK,” I replied as I took off my shit.

When I put it on I noticed that it wasn’t too small in the shoulders and the waist was loose enough. I was sure I was imagining things, but the darts that helped form the cups in the nightgown seemed to be holding up some of my flesh.

“Take a look in the mirror,” she suggested.

When I did I thought I saw a little cleavage, and my hair seemed just a bit longer than I remember it that morning. To me I actually looked good.

At least it could have been worse.

I took it off and put my shirt back on. We went downstairs and Clem took my nightgown and me to his home behind the main house. When we got there I noticed that there was only one bed, so I went to claim the couch for the night.

“No,” Clem said. “You take the bed.”

“I’ll be alright. I can sleep on the couch.”

“I insist.”

“It’s OK.”

“As you’re my guest you will have the benefit of the bed.”

“I can’t put you out.”

We stood there for what seemed minutes.

“I’ll tell you what,” I said pulling a quarter from my pocket. “I’ll flip you for it.”

“OK,” he replied. “One fall or two out of three?”

“Wrassle?” I asked.

“Why not?”

We got into a wresting lock, and immediately I was on my back with him on top of me. I don’t know why, but my thighs were around his. I also had this silly grin on my face.

“I tell you what,” he suggested. “We’ll share. Besides it is a queen sized bed, so there’s plenty of room for both of us.”

“OK.” I agreed.

I don’t know why, but I was actually happy that I was sharing my bed with him. I began to get dressed in that nightgown as he got into his pajamas. For some reason I was actually happy that it was pretty.

At least it could have been worse.

We slept on opposite sides of the bed. I slept soundly until the birds woke me up as the sun rose. In my dreamy state I thought I felt Clem’s hand on my breasts rubbing and pinching them. It felt mildly erotic, and although I never had homosexual feelings before, I wanted him to continue what he was doing. I even let him spoon me as he continued. It was relaxing and I fell asleep in his arms. When I awoke Clem was gone, and I when I went downstairs I found Andrea.

“Take a shower,” she told me. “I’ll leave clothes for you on the bed. Come over to my kitchen after and you can have breakfast.”

After the shower I discovered that she had left me a skirt, blouse, panties, a bra and sandals.

“I can’t wear that!” I said to myself as I looked for the clothes I wore the previous day.

After a half an hour of not finding them I finally decided to wear what Andrea left me and then have breakfast. What surprised me was that the bra actually held up some of my flesh. I felt a need, so I made sure my hair presentable.

At least it could have been worse.

“What happened to my clothes?” I asked as I ate some grits with milk.

“Your clothes are in the wash,” she explained. “They were dirty. After breakfast take them out of the washing machine and put them in the dryer. By the time they dry the boys will be back. So could you help me make lunch?”

“Sure,” I agreed.

“Make sure you set enough plates. Phil’s helpers would also be eating.”

“How many are there?”

“About seven including Phil, eight if Clem comes back in time.”

“After that could you come with me to town and help me buy some additional groceries that we don’t grow here?”

“Dressed like this?”

“Are you afraid you will show off too much of your assets in that? I could make you look less sexy, but if you have it you might as well flaunt it.”

What she said made me feel better about myself.

At least it could have been worse.

After we cleaned the dishes from lunch Andrea, Melissa and I drove into town and parked at what I believed was the village general store. There apparently was no Wal-Mart, Costco’s or any other chain store in town. While we bought the food and some cleaning supplies I noticed a pretty dress on one of the racks then picked it up to see it better.

“You should look sexy in it,” Andrea told me. “Why don’t you try it on?”

My emotions were in conflict. Part of me was saying that I was a man and shouldn’t even think about wearing that, but part of me needed to look pretty.

Andrea encouraged me by saying, “Don’t be shy.”

“I want to see what you look like, too,“ Melissa added.

I decided to try it on. When I came out of the changing room, the girls gushed over how pretty I looked. With the jewelry and makeup I bought and put on I felt pretty.

At least it could have been worse.

As we walked back to the truck I noticed a few men looking at me. It was a thrill that I enjoyed and wished that had happened before. I smiled as I mentioned it to Andrea.

I insisted we stop by Clem’s shop to see how my car was coming. He told me that the part still hadn’t come. I was disappointed, but kind of glad that I would be with Clem for another day. Before I left with the girls I put my arms around Clem’s neck and kissed him. His return kiss felt sensual and I melted in his arms. It was one of the nicest feelings I ever had. When we left I realized that the nipples on my breasts got pointy and I was also a little wet.

“I thought you were going to let him take you in the garage, Beth,” Melissa said.

“That’s not nice to say,” Andrea told her.

“Even if I wanted it to be true,” I added.

We giggled.

The man in me was shouting that I should be interested in a woman, not a man but it came to me like a whisper.

At least it could have been worse.

The three of us did a laundry, and then made dinner for the men when we got back to the farm. I was happily doing all the chores and enjoying the company of Andrea and her daughter. When Phillip came in Andrea gave him a hug and a big kiss. Melissa did the same with one of the hired help. A few minutes later Clem came in and I followed suit.

“I couldn’t get the part today,” Clem told me.

“I guess I will be staying another night,” I assumed.

“Same arrangement as last night,” he told me.

I smiled.

“That includes the dishes,” Andrea added.

“I’d be glad to.”

While we were doing the dishes I commented, ”It seems like I’m just a housewife.”

“Do you want to be his housewife?” Andrea asked.

“If he asks,” I replied, surprising myself.

I had to think. Was I a man needing to get to my girlfriend’s place or was I a woman in love with the gas station owner in rural Louisiana. I was confused.

When I told Andrea my problem, she said, “Go with your heart. It could be worse.”

I had a dilemma, but she was right.

At least it could have been worse.

Again Clem and I went into the back house and I put on that nightgown again as Clem got dress for bed. After he got in the bed I rolled over to him and cuddled in his arms. I felt safe in his strong arms. It made me happy. In fact I couldn’t imagine anything better. That night we also made love. Accepting him in me seemed the right thing to do and I was satisfied with the results.

In the morning I helped make breakfast and held onto Clem like I would never let him go until he finally said he really needed to open the gas station. In addition to helping Andrea with some of the chores I worked on the gas station books for the week. That kept me busy all day.

At least it could have been worse.

In the afternoon Clem called the house and told me the part came in and the car was repaired.

“But I want to stay with you,” I pleaded with Clem.

I realized I was crying.

“When I get back, we’ll talk about it,” he replied. “I think you’ll like what I have to say.”

When he finally got back from the garage, Clem took my hand and we walked outside the house onto the porch.

Clem went down on one knee and asked me to marry him, “We’re acting like a married couple anyway, so would you consent to be my wife?”

I smiled, cried and said, “I’d love to be your wife,” before hugging him and giving him the biggest kiss I could. His return kiss had his tongue in my mouth.

We walked back into the kitchen where Clem announced our intentions. The guys congratulated him and the women gave me hugs.

“When is this going to happen?” Andrea asked.

“We’ll talk to the preacher tomorrow when we go to church,” Clem explained. “We’ll let you know when we get a date.”

Later that evening I called Jenna and told her the good news. She told me that she was happy for me and wanted to meet my man as soon as possible just before I told her that she would be my maid of honor.

At least it could have been worse.

The church service was beautiful and the preacher’s sermon was to be like Jesus and forgive those who have done you wrong. I met some of the other parishioners and felt quite at home in this congregation. We later talked to the preacher and made arrangement to have the wedding on the Saturday three weeks from then. However, I was at loss as to where I could find a wedding dress so quickly.

At least it could have been worse.

When I called my parents that night and told them we were getting married, mom insisted that I fly to New York and she would buy me a wedding dress there, so in the morning Clem drove me first to Lufkin where Jenna joined me on the flight from Dallas as Clem went back home to Louisiana.

We stayed at my apartment for the two days while we went with mom to every bridal shop on Long Island. I finally found the perfect dress and beautiful gowns for my mother and best friend. Exhausted, but happy, Jenna, mom and I flew back to the farm to plan the rest of the wedding with Andrea’s help.

The next two weeks we were a whirlwind of activity which included the invitation list. We decided that it would only be close family, the farm hands, some of the brokerage house associates and Clem’s employees. Of course Jenna’s mom was invited.

It was during that time that Hurricane Rita did some damage to the farm. We lost power until we were able to start the back-up generator but we were still able to milk the cows. Also, a few shingles were torn off the house roof. There was a little flooding at Clem’s garage, but nothing got ruined.

At least it could have been worse.

Just after the storm I began to get doubts about the wedding.

Noticing my melancholy, Jenna pulled me over and asked me, “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know if I should marry Clem,” I explained. “He’s a good man and kind to me, but the only thing we have in common is the sex.”

“Are you sure there isn’t anything else?” she asked.

“I’ve been thinking about this the last few days, and I draw a blank. He hasn’t taken me out, or anything. I feel like I’m the hired help with the advantage of having a ring on my finger.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t think I could marry him. The idea of being the wife is good, but I can’t see myself with him. I don’t think it would last.”

I began to cry.

“Would you feel better if you called it off?” she asked.

I nodded several times as I sniffled and she held me.

“What if we pack, then you tell Clem. If you want you could stay at my place.”

“At least I’ll be close enough to come back if I change my mind again.”

With Jenna’s help I told my parents. They were disappointed, but understood. We packed and were ready to go when Clem arrived from work.

When he saw us putting our things into the car he asked, ”What’s going on?”

“There isn’t enough between us for the marriage to work,” I explained. “You’re a nice man, and I think the right girl will come along someday, but that’s not me.”

“Can’t we try to make it work?”

“No, I’m afraid not. I do love you, but not enough to marry you, and I doubt that it will ever happen.”

I took off my engagement ring and handed it to Clem. I kissed him on the cheek and then walked away.

As I was walking to the car Andrea came out of the house and told me, “You can’t leave him like this. He’ll be devastated.”

“He’ll get over it. I just can’t marry him.”

“What about the baby?”

I was surprised so asked, “What baby?”

“The one you two just created.”

“How could you know? Even if I am I don’t even know.”

“It is part of the spell.”

“What spell?”

“The one I did that made you a woman in love with Clem.”

“CHANGE ME BACK!” I demanded. “YOU DID THIS WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE OR MY PERMISSION!”

“I can’t, the baby.”

“So I’m stuck this way because of your perverted pleasure?”

“I did it for my brother. He’s a lonely man and needs to love.”

“Get a local girl.”

“There are none that he likes.”

“Not my problem. Have a good life.”

I didn’t start to cry until we were off the farm and on the main road.

At least it could have been worse.

Near the Texas border I felt queasy. I asked Jenna to pull over. She did it just in time for me to throw up. I felt better for about an hour when I again threw up. Mom put her hand on my head and noticed that I didn’t have a fever.

“Jenna," she said. “Pull into the next drug store you know about. I want to get a few things for Elizabeth’s problem.”

When we did she went into the store and brought out a few things. One of the packages was Kayopectate. She also bought a package of vitamins and an early pregnancy test. When we got to Jenna's home I peed on the tester like I was supposed to do and it was positive.

“Clem should know,” she told me.

“I agree, but I’m still not going to marry Clem.”

I called him and told him the news. He was happy that he would be a father and wanted to be able to see the child. I agreed. He also told me he wanted to help support us. I told him we would negotiate reasonable terms.

At least it could have been worse.

A week later we finally closed on the property that caused me to come down south and we started to get the restaurant together. I took the second apartment that also had two bedrooms. I decided that I would have the larger bedroom and my baby would have the second bedroom. I started to decorate.

I finally decided to have a sonogram. When the doctor told me I would have

TWINS!?

I fainted.

Based on an idea suggested by Judy White.

At the Transgender Writers Convention: The Price of War

by shalimar

This was posted at Fictionmania as "At the Fictionmania Convention II: The Price of War"

This story is dedicated to all veterans who ever saw action.

It is posted in honor of the meeting of transgender fiction writers occuring on 2 April 2011.

Note: use of the Professor's Ovid "gods" with premission.

Let me explain some things. I met Monica at a weekly meeting of my local transgender group which just outside Atlanta, GA. She is a thirty-year-old male to female transsexual that is what we also call a little girl. In her mind she is really four. Although we have our differences we became close and I eventually became her “mother.”

Being both transgender fiction fans and hearing about the convention we made arrangements to take the week off and go. Our flight was uneventful, except Monica had too much to drink. You could say she had reason to drink, as she was a veteran of the Iraqi War. Unfortunately, while she was serving in the army, she saw terrible things and had to kill people. This destabilized her otherwise kind soul so she took it out in a way that she would forget: alcohol.

We registered in our hotel room and had our luggage taken upstairs. As we were both doing our twenty-four/seven real life as women there was no need for us to change. We registered for the convention and I decided to look around the convention hall while Monica told me she was tired and would go back to the room. Although I was suspicious, I didn’t check up on her. I found out later that I should have.

Walking the convention floor I met the Professor. He had a pretty young lady, dressed unusual, holding his arm. She told me her name was Princess Moonbeam. She looked like a refuge from San Francisco of the late 1960’s, complete with fringed skirt, long beads around the neck, granny glasses, and long hair to near the waist, boots and scarf on the top of her head. We talked and I believe we hit it off well. As we were leaving the main convention room we passed the doors to the bar.

I glanced in and exclaimed, “OH SHIT!”

“What’s wrong?” the princess asked.

“Monica,” I replied. “She’s drinking again. She’s an alcoholic.”

“Do you need help?” the Professor asked.

“I don’t know. It can’t hurt for you both to be there with me.”

As we walked in Monica was drinking a Jack Daniels. Pouring it down her throat was a better description of her actions.

“Monica, what are you doing?” I asked her.

“Drinking. Who are your friends?”

“They’re the Professor and Princess Moonbeam,” I replied. “Monica, you’re allergic to that stuff. You break out in blackouts.”

“Mommy, just one more please?”

“You already had too much.”

“Just one more?”

She was more than a little tipsy.

“NO!”

“Aw, mommy, you’re no fun.”

The alcohol was so strong on her breath that I thought I would get drunk.

“Come on, we’re getting you out of here.”

“Yes sir!”

Her salute made her fall, but I caught her before she hit the ground.

“You caught me,” she smiled. “That was wonderful.”

It was then that the bartender came over to us as I held Monica up under one shoulder, the Professor held her up under the other one.

“She’s been drinking hard and fast since she came in here about an hour ago,” he told us.

“What’s the tab?” I asked.

“One hundred,” he replied.

Still holding Monica, I opened my pocketbook and took out two hundreds and told him, “Here are two postmen. If you see her here again, no drinks. And I do mean none!”

“Yes, ah, mam.”

We dragged Monica out of the bar and over to the elevators that brought us to the top floor and the presidential suit.

“You’re the ones that have this baby,” the princess said to me as I unlocked the door. “I was surprised to see that it was already booked when I reserved our rooms.”

“If you want to I’ll switch,” I told her as we put Monica in the bed. “It’s paid for. It is a small price to pay for what I need from you now, Dianne. I think I need your help.”

We fixed Monica so she could sleep comfortably.

”At this convention I’m Princess Moonbeam,” she replied. “Our suite is good enough.”

“Normally I would respect your wishes, but I need you now as Dianne or Athena, or who ever. I’m desperate.”

I held back tears. I hoped she didn’t notice.

“OK,” she sighed. “What do you need?”

“Fix my friend.” I pleaded. “Fix her so she isn’t an alcoholic.”

“You’re taking this hard when she did this to herself.”

“I know, but that’s the way I am.”

“I’ll do what I can to give what she needs,” she replied. “Leave us alone for a few minutes.”

I went down the stairs to the lower level of my suite, went to the couch and cried softy into a pillow. For some reason I didn’t want Dianne to know.

A few minutes later I felt Dianne’s hand on my back.

“Monica is sleeping peacefully,” she told me. “In an hour or so her tummy will hurt and she is going to need her mommy.”

“Mommy?” I asked as I noticed the wedding and engagement rings on my hand.

“Yes, you changed also,” she explained. “She is now a sweet, innocent girl of four with no memory of being in the war. You are now her mommy.”

I gave her a hug.

“How can I ever thank you?”

“You just did.”

Based on a Conversation

by Shalimar

Essays on rhe Transgendered Condition

Bodybuilder

by shalimar

Rose White took the next specification sheet off the pile. She looked over the information on the form.

‘This is going to be a fun one to make,’ she thought. ‘A Fabio face with chin a dimple al la Kurt Douglas. Humm 6’ 3” and ALL muscle.’

“Maybe I’ll keep this one myself,” she said out loud to no one in particular.

Being a bodybuilder was a job she liked to do. She especially enjoyed building the children for the “parents” who couldn’t conceive. They had their child, or two, that would eventually grow up and be a normal member of society. She would almost do those bodies for free, but she also liked the pay her work provided.

Bodybuilding was an offshoot of cloning that was begun around the beginning of the century. President Bush had declared martial law and suspended the Constitution on January 14, 2008. Three years later he started another war, this time in Iran. There were heavy casualties and despite the martial law, major protests occurred throughout the US. Luckily, there was a major breakthrough in cloning, which enabled the Pentagon to build living “GI Joe’s.” As they weren’t really, “alive” according to the military, they were expendable so nobody in the US cared about the body count. The war ended with a revolution in Iran and the US. Returning to constitutional law, Senator McCain became president and Senator Kerry became vice-president in a coalition of national unity until normal elections were held.

‘Bodybuilding tm’ was sold to several labs, becoming a huge industry, where even foreigners bought bodies for various purposes.

As she reviewed the form, she stopped and called her supervisor, “Mike, I have form 2658721, the Fabio look a like, and there seems to be a mistake.”

“No, Rose, I called the customer myself and confirmed the anomaly.”

“Such a waste,” she replied, “If it was not for the difference I’d want to play with him myself.”

“This is ’Dealing with the customer, rule number two,’ he explained.

“I know, if the customer is wrong, see rule number one.”

“Remember you are not being paid to like it. You are being paid to build it.”

She got the parts for the body and started building it. Fabio face with the dimple, strong arms, legs and heart, a washboard abdomen and, of course, the sex. No body is complete without the sex, unless, of course, it is for the military. Then it is required NOT to have the sex. There are fewer complications that way.

In an hour, the “Fabio” was finished and dressed. He walked out of the laboratory where he was made and sat in the clone waiting room awaiting his new “owner” to arrive. He didn’t have to wait long as the owner arrived a few minutes later.

Fabio walked into the reception area.

“Very good,” the owner said. “He’s perfect… and the special change?”

“Take down your pants, Fabio,” Mike told the clone.

Fabio complied and showed that he had a normal woman’s vulva.

Deva Torah Haftorah Shofteem:

You Afflicted and Drunk Without Wine

by shalimar

This Torah and Haphtarah is significant to me for a number of reasons. Shofteem occurs on my father’s birthday according to the Hebrew Calendar, his mother’s yortsite, the approximate date of my other grandparents’ wedding anniversary and was the Haphtarah my ex and I read the day before our wedding. As a former folk dancer, both international and Israeli I recognize in it Mona Vu, an Israeli folk dance. I have used Shofteem as the title of one of my short stories. It also has significance to me as a transgendered individual containing the phrase: You (are) afflicted (and) drunk without wine.

That sums up not only my experience, but also almost all transgender experiences. We start out early being ostracized by the other kids because they know we are different. If our brain is female the boys don’t want to hang around a sissy and the girls don’t want to be with an icky boy. If we have a male brain and a female body the girls don’t want to be with a pushy boy and the boys see just a girl. Occasionally there may be a girl who sees the girl in us, or a boy who sees the boy in us and becomes our friend.

As time goes by we get verbally and physically abused. This abuse comes from
“friends,” peers, siblings and parents. It may occur from total strangers and often goes a far as rape and murder.

We question ourselves with “What’s wrong with me?”, knowing, but still not accepting the unthinkable cruelty of being in the “wrong body.” We are alone thinking that we are the only person alive who has this kind of feelings.

We pray and ask G_d or another deity to change us or we try to use magic so what is between our legs finally matches our mind. Disappointed and frustrated, we are still in the wrong body.

We also get that “What’s wrong with you?” “discussion” that is really a speech, resulting in being coerced into playing football and learning how to fight because dad wants to “make a man” out of us or mom makes us learn how to cook, sew, clean house and other feminine things so we will become good housewives. Sometimes trying to fit in, we do it to ourselves, usually without success. But that doesn’t mean we can fight our way out of a paper bag or boil water without burning it.

Then our bodies betray us. We become that big hairy clod instead of the pretty petite girl we see in our mind’s eye. For a male in a female body we are still 5’ 2”, 98 lbs. soaking wet after bodybuilding.

Many of us learn to hide our true selves by pretending to be the sex our body says we are. Often we marry and have children. But we are not honest. We are false witnesses. Internally, the male and female parts of our bodies and minds are constantly fighting so we never get that inner peace called contentment.

Some of us suppress our need so strongly that we tell the world that we are not transgendered. Yet, we feel a need to crossdress. Some of us may need to have someone else tell us, or even force us to crossdress.

We hide in other ways, too. Some hide with death. I am proud of those who have kept their promise to me not to commit suicide. One recently asked me to release her from that promise. I had to tell her only if she had a medical condition that warrants “Do Not Resuscitate.” We might also do self harm, a “minor” form of suicide. I have heard of some of us that cut off their testicles, or tried to. Some of us hide by having unsafe sex resulting in gonorrhea, syphilis, or AIDS. In other words: a slow form of suicide.

Or we hide behind drugs. Hopefully those of us that go that route end up in Alcoholics Anonymous, Synanon or other treatment centers before we either end up in jail or die.

We often develop various forms of mental illness, as a product of the extreme shame or bewilderment we have. We are admitted to psychiatric treatment centers or at least, being driven by guilt or unable to accept the unacceptable, we talk to psychologists or psychiatrists. Many of us are depressed and end up on anti depressants.

We also don’t know how to relate to others. We are alone so we don’t pick up the interrelationship clues that other teens learn because they are with friends. As adults we don’t know how to deal with people so find ourselves alone or, because we are afraid of people gravitate towards rural areas because there are less people to deal with or major urban areas because there everyone is anonymous.

Many of us are “read” and caught out partially because we are fearful of being read and caught out. We also might be read because there are few genetic 6’ 2” women. Even after transition we may be mentally looking over our shoulders to see if anyone is outing us, either maliciously or unintentionally. Either way we could be hurt and humiliated if it happens.

In addition to being gender dysphoric we may also have age dysphoria. I have seen the tears in the eyes of one physically adult “little girl” I call daughter when we are in the company that includes real children. It is then that I wish a miracle would happen so I can hug her, dry her eyes and tell her to go play. It tugs at my heart that it will never happen.

We are also more likely to have heart attacks and other diseases caused by stress due to the never ending battle between the male and female within us. This stress, beginning in early age, can result in poor education that leads to low paying jobs with low or no medical coverage. This leads to our inability to get proper medical care, even for medical issues not connected to transgender or age dysphoria, creating still more stress. Our desperation to transition is so great and our finances so small we may resort to self medication, sometimes through the internet. Yet, the use of these drugs needs to be monitored or we run the risk of hurting ourselves or dying.

In the end some of us decide to transition, trying to make our bodies match our minds, even though it is like building a house starting on the second floor. Others decide not to. That is O. K., too. As noted before many of us cannot afford the many expensive procedures that are necessary to truly transition. We often transition with great difficulty. The woman trapped in a male body has to somehow hide her beard. A female to male still has breasts to deal with.

Yet at this time we begin to choose life, and most of us gain that inner peace because we can be our true selves. It is strange that this is the time others tell us we are going to Hell when, in reality, we have just gotten out of it. The hate they give us is sometimes greater than the contempt that should be reserved for murderers. But they forget that “we have not come into being to hate and destroy, (but instead) to praise, to labor and to love.” The hate goes so far that some religious institutions have barred us from even entering their houses of worship or require us to wear “gender neutral” clothing.

Sometimes there is the issue of how we are addressed. For example, some of us have been asked, “What does your son or daughter call you?” One child of a male to female woman stated that she is his father. Both are proud of that statement. The daughter of another referred to her now female father as mom and both were happy with the reference. The pronoun used by the child, parent or sibling may give pride, as in these examples, or it may hurt the transgendered individual.

In public the male or female reference to us may be at times different. To the same individual sometimes the “sir” or “madam” may not be important other times it is. It could even hurt, especially when it comes from “friends” and family.

Many of us have lost family and friends and have been ostracized by some that never took the time to get to know us. As a result we often band together to form our own family. Personally, I am one of those who created a group called the Evil Witch Family consisting of mothers, daughters, sisters, cousins, nieces and grandchildren. Some of my family and some outside our family have a goal to create a transgender shelter and information center. If we can, then there would be a safe environment so a person could safely transition if needing to. Then to paraphrase that same Haphtarah: we would have taken out of their hands “the cup of trembling, even the dregs of the cup of fury.” They would “never drink it again.”

I’m not saying that my pain is greater or less than yours. I AM asking you to follow the words that are almost in the center of the Torah: to love your neighbor as you love yourself. It is a hallmark of the Western religions and many of the others. The rest is just commentary.

Notes: References:

Biblical quotes paragraphing and references:

Haphtarah reading: Isaiah: 51:12-52:12, specifically: 51:21-22 and Mona Vu 52:7
Others: Exodus 20:13 Leviticus 19:18 Numbers 6:25 Deuteronomy 30: 15-19

“The rest is just commentary”

is from a quote in the Talmud from Hillel the Great who lived about 2300 years ago. A man went to Hillel as challenged, “If you can tell me the whole of the Torah while standing on one foot I will become a Jew.” Hillel responded, “What is hateful to thee do not do to another. That is the whole of the torah. The rest is just commentary. Now go study.”

“To hate and destroy …”

is a slightly rephrasing of part of the prayer for peace by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov as told by Rabbi Nathan.

“Building a house …”

a comment by Kaitlin Thompson, an author of transgender fiction and a member of the “Family”

True Selves:

is a book by Mildred L Brown and Chloe Ann Rounsley. I have been told it is one of the best of many books on the transgendered condition. I have not read it.

Accepting the unacceptable/Enduring the unendurable:

is part of and paraphrasing a quote by Hirohito in his message of surrender ending WWII: “We have resolved to endure the unendurable and suffer what is insufferable.”

I thank Holly Hart, Allysson de Merel, Nori Herras, Angela Rasch, Donna Riley and Heather Rose Brown for their comments, suggestions, editing and proofing.

I recently read a story that had a lot of quotes as the heading of the chapters. Also I've noticed a number of quotes coming with a review. What are your favorite quotes?

Some of mine:

"I know G_d created the Heaven and Earth. I'm just trying to find out how." A. Einstein

"The reason I can see so far is that I'm standing on the shoulders of giants." E. Hailley

"Only Nixion could go to China." ST character, Spock

"In this galaxy there are millions of planets and millions of people on those planets. Don't lose the one called Kirk." ST character McCoy

"Why is this night different than all other nights?" Hagada, can be very sarcastic when used out of context

"It takes a village to raise a child." H. Clinton quoting an African proverb

"He dost protest too much!" W Shakespere from both Romeo and Juliet and one of the Henry's

"In other words, choose life!" Deut 30:15

shalimar

For All the Pearls in the World

by: Shalimar

The story of Mark/Marcy. This is a CD story that's not a CD story, a transition story that's not a transition story, a love story that's not a love story, a body swap story that's not a body swap story. Now that you are totally confused and intrigued read:

This time when my boss, the great financial adviser, Judah Raisnhoff, I flew into Seattle he took me with him. I was going to meet William Goodsales. My career was getting better all the time. As we flew I went over the notes again. Stocks: using my Palm they still made sense. The malls were excellently priced. My baby was the oil drilling deals. I had a friend, a geologist I had met in college when we were students. He checked the data every way he could. It cost us a pretty penny. His worst-case assessment was that for every dollar Goodsales put into these projects he would get back two.

When we arrived at the airport we were driven to Minimicro headquarters in Redmond by one of the company limos. The drive there was relatively short and I had time to talk to Judah once more about our projects. Our wait for Mr. Goodsales was also short. Jude introduced me and I saw why some women actually liked the looks of this handsome man. He had a rugged yet caring look. I made sure I was on my best behavior, and not too turned on by him. Jude said that I was the main person with the information and everything was finally checked by me. That impressed Goodsales. He said that although I was young, I knew what I was talking about. He also said he liked my smile. If he only knew why I was smiling at him. As the meeting progressed I noticed that Bill was actually happy with my proposals.

The meeting broke up for lunch. I continued my presentation after the excellent catered meal. It consisted of roast beef, chicken and freshly broiled fish from the Sound. There were also salads. Although, I had only a little of everything I realized I would not need dinner that evening. During the lunch I stayed with Bill and listened to every word he said. Personally, I though he was a pompous ass. Although sometimes he was boring, I was able to use the information he gave me enabled me to finish my presentation better later. I knew more of what to emphasize and what to slide over.

Finally, around 2:30 the meeting ended with William Goodsales buying everything we had proposed. Even after the expenses of the day my share of the commission would be a cool quarter million. I was on my way to being rich enough to be able to attain my goal. Then Mr. Goodsales gave us his surprise.

"I like this guy. I want him on my team."

"I have an obligation to Goldenberg & Saccharine. They have a contract."

"I can pay them to release you. Mark, you'll make 2% of what you make for me."

I looked at Judah hoping that he would say yes.

"It's up to you. The other partners and I had discussed this possibility before you came."

"OK. As soon as things can be arranged."

The next day I officially joined the Minimocro staff. As I was still in the Seattle area I decided to look for a condo as close to work as possible. It took a week of constant looking until I found the right place. Then there was the task of packing my things in New York City. I said my good bys to my friends in New York. That was difficult. The day after my good by party the movers came and moved everything across the continent. While waiting for my stuff to arrive, I bought a sleeping bag and a blow up mattress at Model's. Then I went to the local Sears and bought a pillow. I also bought a couple of nightgowns and a few pairs of panties to tide me over until the movers arrived. You see I am transgendered. I wish I could magically be turned into the young woman that I feel I am inside, but that will never happen.

When I arrived at Minimicro that first day after my move I went to Bill's office again. He had hired a new secretary for me. She was transferred from the secretarial pool that day. She was about 5' 3" and weighed about 100-110. She was a size 4 or 6 and about 22-years-old according to my guess, making her about a year or two younger than me. That first day, she wore a white conservative blouse with a black straight skirt that went down 2" below the knee. She had chocolate brown hair that fell in waves down to her breasts. She said her name was Susan Hazelton.

She met me at Mr. Goodsales office and then brought me to my office. It was down the hall from Mr. Goodsales. She opened my computer and asked me what access code I wanted. I told her that I wanted to put it in myself. She walked away from the screen and I typed in 'girlyboy'. I may want to change, but I am still very much in the closet. I am very fearful that I would be found out here in Seattle. I have to play the big bad guy in finance until I have enough to go through the pill and operation. I don't think that the operation is a good solution. It is the only solution that will stop me from going crazy. I am very aggressive because I have to get the money for my change. I'd rather be a loving woman to my boyfriend or husband. That is a strong woman with a great man. Mr. Goodsales, Bill to all around him, is handsome in a rugged way. I notice things like that. Maybe after I change he'll look at me as the woman of his dreams.

We went to work. The first day, I showed Susan how to analyze stock reports and spread sheets. I needed her to help me look for the really good investments. Later that day she showed me how good an intellect she was by finding an investment that was outstanding. I looked it over and checked out the information every way I could to make sure that the information she was able to get was accurate. I trusted her, not the information. I presented the information to Bill later that day. He liked it and asked me to start purchase proceedings as quickly as possible.

"Could I have my 2% as a minor investor?"

"Sure," Mr. Goodsales agreed. "I don't mind a minor partner."

"Also give two tenth of one percent to Ms Hazelton out of my share. She deserves to be rewarded."

"You'll make her a friend very quickly."

"I believe in rewarding those who help me," I replied.

"So do I, Mark," Bill said. "So do I."

The way he said it made me cringe inside. Something was not right with the way he said it. I couldn't place exactly what it was. He actually scared me. It sounded like he rewards people with a stab in the back.

I went back to my office and told Susan that he accepted the proposal. I didn't tell her about her share. I thought it would be better as a surprise. Besides, I didn't want to disappoint her if it didn't work out.

During the next few days I noticed that Susan was trying to get me to make her more than just my secretary to me. For example, the second day she wore clothes that were I would say said, 'take me'. Her navy blouse was tight and showed both cleavage and belly. Her skin-tight skirt was at least four inches above the knee and probably closer to a foot. She tried to show me her assets all day, and even tried to be invited to lunch. I did go out with her and we talked. It was pleasant.

I am the right age for her and when I see the man I am physically I see that I am cute. How can I tell her that I am not like that? Could I tell her everything? I believe she is becoming a friend. I need friends here. Most of mine are on the East Coast.

That second week Susan told me she would be late because she needed to have her car repaired. I asked her where she was getting the repair. It was about a mile away from my new apartment. I suggested to Susan that I would pick her up at the auto repair shop. She was thrilled. I think she saw this as a chance to be alone with me for a while again.

I only had to wait a short while before Susan showed up at the repair shop. She told the owner what to do and she then slid into the front seat, close.

"I know that you have been trying to get me to be more than your boss, Susan," I said as she tried to snuggle close to me.

"I was hoping you would notice," she replied.

"I couldn't help, but notice," I answered, "But,"

"You're not gay?" she asked. "Don't tell me if you are. Mr. Goodsales asked me to spy on you."

"No," I replied and she gave a sigh of relief. "Trans. And I don't care what you tell Mr. Goodsales."

"Trans?"

"I'm a transsexual."

"You mean you were a girl and now you are a boy?" Susan asked, surprised.

"No," I replied. "I am a boy, as you put it, except between my ears. But, that feeling has been with me all my life. Guess, I'm just one of the girls."

"But, what you do is usually done by men. It is considered a man's job, and you do it aggressively. Just like a man."

"It is easy for me." I replied. "And I'm good at what I do. Not all women have nurturing jobs. Some are very successful as CEO's and financial advisors."

"I'm sorry, I thought you would be happier doing a more stereotype female job if what you say is true."

"If I could still do this after I transition then why not?" I replied. "I'm good at it and these men will still want me for my brain even if I want them to want me for my body."

"You expect to look like a woman?"

"I expect to have all the proper curves that will set a man thinking with his dick."

"They always do," Sue responded.

We giggled. Susan was surprised at my action.

"What is your female name?" she asked.

"Marcy."

"May I meet Marcy?"

I was surprised.

"You really want to?" I asked.

"Yes. If she is anything like you I think we could be great friends."

"She is me."

"I know. Do you like sex with a woman or a man?"

"Right now, I prefer women, but I see men as women do and know and feel the attraction. I even have some attraction to Mr. Goodsales."

"Yea, I had a fling with him a while back," she said looking away.

We drove into work. Again, Susan found an investment that I was able to present to Bill later that day. I received my two percent as a minor partner and Susan received her two tenths of one percent from my share. I was making money and so was she. Her added income actually made me feel good inside. There was some incentive for her to do well, but that was not my motive.

That evening I drove her to the repair shop.

"Could I meet Marcy tonight?" Susan asked.

I thought for a while.

"Sure," I replied.

"What will you wear?"

I have a basic black dress that I think I look sexy in. It has a low cut that shows off my cleavage nicely."

"You have breasts?" she asked looking closely at my chest.

"Breast forms or Falsies. I could have my curves looking good. I could have a guy want to take me home to meet mama."

"Does she have to be home?"

"If she isn't he'll want to make me a 'mama'."

We giggled at that remark.

We arrived at my new apartment. I parked in my private space and we walked upstairs to my home. I made her comfortable in my bedroom while I got my things out of the closet and draws. A little while later Susan met Marcy as I continued to finish my looks. Like a good friend, Susan helped me with my nails.

"I am actually jealous," she said. "You look prettier than me."

"Thank you," I said. "You are kind."

"No, I'm serious," she continued. "You should have your choice of the guys."

"You're kidding me."

"I wish."

I was finally finished. I stood up and twirled around.

"You make a very convincing woman," she told me.

"Thank you," I said curtseying. "So do you."

"I was born this way, honey."

Sadly, I looked down and said, "I wasn't."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, Marcy."

"That's OK."

"I'm seeing you as a woman, though."

"Thanks. I am a woman, at least inside."

"Have you ever gone out of the apartment, Marcy?"

"Never."

"You must be lonely."

"I am," I told her. "You're the first person to meet me out here. Back home very few knew me. I hope those back East keep in touch but it's a long way to New York. Is it OK if we order pizza and just talk tonight?"

"No more than a slice for me," she told me. "I don't know if I could eat that much. I'd like to talk."

"I'll order a whole pie and have the rest later this month. A freezer and microwave does wonders for a single woman sometimes."

When the pizza man came I notice he was starring at both of us and having a hard-on. I took my wallet out and handed him a twenty and told him to keep the change. I bent down to put the pizza on the coffee table in a way that I gave him another good view. I figured I should give him an added tip.

"He could make me hot anytime," Sue said as she starred at the door after he left.

"Yea," was all I could say as I starred at that same door.

While we were eating I asked Susan, "What does Goodsales have on you?"

She looked away. I noticed she bit her lip as she did. She was trying to hold back tears.

"Is it that bad?" I asked. "Is it really worse than what I revealed to you today?"

"He made me have an abortion," she said through the tears that finally came through. "He said he would expose me if I didn't."

As I held Susan, she continued, "I went to a bar and he picked me up. We went to his place and we made love. I got pregnant. He said he would expose me if I didn't."

"I don't understand. Why would he have anything on you?"

"I was seventeen. I made myself up to look older."

"I still don't understand," I told her. "The way I see it you have the goods on him."

"I'm Catholic," she explained. "I go to church. I follow the teachings of the Holy Father."

"Oooo," was all I could say. We ate in silence for a while. Then I said, "He can't expose you. If he does, he gets into trouble. It is still statuary rape."

"But it was still an abortion."

"Maybe you should have run away and have that love child, but you didn't. Don't continue to beat yourself up about it now."

"Abortion is not right. I should have had the baby. Mom and daddy would kill me if they ever found out."

"You'll have others. You must believe me."

"You don't understand. When I had that abortion a part of me died. There is still a hole in my heart."

Susan continued to cry. All I could do is hold her. I also had a tear in each of my eyes. There was also anger towards Goodsales because of what he did. How could he hurt someone, especially a woman he had been intimate with like that?

We ended up watching a 'chick flick' that I wanted to see. We both cried at the end. After the film we talked until it was time for bed. She slept in my spare bedroom and I loaned her some clothes in the morning. My clothes were a fairly good fit for her.

During lunch the next day Susan was looking at one of the bulletin boards in the lunchroom a crying softly.

I came over to her and put my arm around her and looked. The board had a notice about a mother-daughter day coming in a few weeks. It was a request that the employees who wish to take their children to the office notify security a few days before so security can give the children passes. The notice said it was a way to protect the children.

"That hole must be deep," I said kissing her tears as we held each other.

"I sometimes can't even pass a playground because of the children playing and laughing."

"I'll be your daughter for the day," I told her.

She managed to kiss me as she said, "I'd be proud to be your mother."

I stayed with Susan until we got back to our office.

"Are you sure you're alright?" I asked.

"Hey, I'm the mother," she replied with a smile. "I should be taking care of you."

With Susan's encouragement I started to dress in fem more often. She sometimes stayed the evening in my spare bedroom and I loaned her some clothes for the morning. I started to occasionally go out as Marcy in local area. I began feeling bad dressed as a man at work. Sometimes I was daring and had a blouse instead of a shirt. I think Susan was the only one who noticed. I think
Susan was getting into her role as "mom."

One day Susan suggested that we go out to a local club and try to get picked up by guys. It took a little prodding on her part, but I finally relented. I actually got excited thinking about being treated like a girl, dancing with a guy, and finally being held by a man while he kissed me. This was beginning to feel right to me.

I took most of the day getting ready. I first shaved my body all over. Then I took a lazy scented bath that seemed to wash all my troubles away. I didn't feel that I had any tension, but that bath was relaxing. After drying off and putting on some oil on my skin I put on some press on nails. I shaped them properly and painted them and my toes red. I then put on a red corset that Susan suggested I get the last time we were in Victoria's Secret. It gave the illusion of breasts. I followed with the garter belt and black stockings. Then I put on my red silk panties that I also got at Vicki's.

It was then the doorbell rang. It was Susan. She was dressed in a black sequined blouse with a long black skirt that had a slit on the side to show her black stocking leg as she walked. She looked hot. I was going to have competition tonight. It made me jealous, yet happy for her.

"I should be ready in about ten minutes," I told her

"Just like a woman," she said. "Never on time."

That made me smile.

I put on my red dress. The hem went about four inches above the knees. I'm a tall lady at five foot eight so that few inches of extra leg could drive a man wild. I finished with the proper makeup. Then the jewelry went on including the hooked earrings necklace and bracelets. I was ready. Those guys at the club will not have a chance. Not with us two.

Susan drove downtown to a nice club. She insisted that we get a table near the dance floor. We were exposed and I was frightened. How could she put us so prominent? After a while I began to relax.

Then two guys came over and started talking to us. The man closest to me was Winston. He seemed like a nice gentleman. He talked more than me, but what amazed me is that I was actually interested in what he had to say. Eventually he asked me to dance and I accepted. During a slow dance I melted in his arms. He then took me back to the table and we talked some more. I was having fun. We danced some more and during another slow dance we kissed. WOW! Kissing Winston was heavenly. A few minutes after we again went back to our table, Susan dragged me into the bathroom.

"You like Winston?" she asked as she fixed her lipstick.

I also checked out myself.

"Yes, very much," I said as I fixed my hair.

"Just be careful girl. I don't want you to get hurt."

"With Winston I think I will take a chance," I replied as I fixed my lipstick. "He's so nice and interesting. I'm not pretending. I like him. What about your guy?"

"I like David. I think I have to careful too."

"I hope he likes you that much."

We go back to our new boyfriends and Winston continues to dominate me, and my thoughts. I feel safe with him. After an excellent evening He offers to drive me home. I looked at Susan.

"Go ahead," she tells me. "David was going to come to my place anyway. “Call you tomorrow."

"'K" I say as I put a wrap around my shoulders and walked with Winston.

We walk to the car with my hand around his arm. When we get to his car we kissed. I melted into him. I felt him grow. It made me warm inside. I was hoping this is the man in my future. In part of my brain, reality set in. How can I make love to him with this equipment? I am confused, but when he slid behind the wheel I move closer. I needed his strength next to me. When we get to my apartment he kissed me again and I just had to kiss back.

"Want to come in?" I asked. I had hit the point of no return.

"Well, for a little while," he replied. He sounded reluctant.

I let him in and showed him around. I then helped him sit on the couch.

"Want coffer tea? Or are you a liquor person?"

"Nothing," he replied. "I'm fine."

I went over to him and sat on his lap. We kissed. At the time, kissing him was the most important thing for me. I felt him poke me below.

"You want to have sex?" I asked.

"I can't do this with you, yet," he replied. "I haven't had this good a time with a woman in a long time. I don't want to blow it for the next times by making this a one night stand."

What he said was so wonderful. I laid my head on his shoulder, but his little pecker kept telling me that it wanted action.

"You gave me a gift tonight," I said as I got into a better position. "Let me give you one also."

"I can't let you do this."

"I like you, Winston. I need to do this. Please, let me."

I unzipped his pants and put my hands on his member. I rubbed him until he comes. I was happy he came as he kissed me. I think a spark of love was lit between us that night.

Late the next morning, I heard the phone ring.

"Hello," I said.

"What happened when he took you home?" Susan asked on the other side.

"Winston was nice and a perfect gentlemen," I replied. "When we got to my apartment, we kissed. It was wonderful. I felt so good in his arms."

I started to cry.

"What's wrong?" Susan asked.

"Me!" I shouted through tears.

"Will you be alright until I get there?" she asked. "I'm coming over."

"I think so," I replied.

I was still crying when she arrived.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"I'm not a girl."

"You are to me," she said as she held me.

"I act like a girl. I think like a girl. Inside I am a girl. But this shell is that of a guy. Why!?"

As my years of pain washed out through my tears and talking, Susan continued to comfort me. One of the things that I did that day was to make up my mind to finally do what I wanted to do all my life: to be the girl I always felt myself to be. I would transition. Susan's friendship and assistance in the past few weeks where we acted like good girlfriends made me realize that I needed this more than anything else in my life. Winston was the final piece of the puzzle. I made the
call to the Igersoll Gender Center, which is a major clinic in Seattle. I did it from work, which scared me because of what Susan said about having to have to spy for Mr. Goodsales. Were there others doing the same thing? After the phone call I took a deep breath and went to Susan.

"I did it," I told her. "I made the phone call. I have an appointment for later today. They will have me talk to someone, and hopefully I will see a doctor."

She got up and gave me a hug. I was crying. I looked at her and noticed so was she.

"I'm happy for you," she told me.

"I'm still scared," I replied.

"I can go with you," she reassured me.

"You don't have to," I answered.

"Yes, I do. I'm you friend, or would you prefer to call me mom?"

"But…"

"If things work out right you'll have a BIG butt."

We giggled, then gave each other a hug and went back to work. I found something small for the richest man in the world. My usual cut was in cash for a change.

After work Susan drove me to Ingersol in Seattle. We had a hard time finding it. Then I remembered it was a building behind the one on the street. I walked in and nervously went to the receptionist and told her about my appointment. She asked me to sit and wait. I sat down. Susan saw my nervousness and took my hand.

"You'll be alright," she assured me.

I leaned on her. She is so good to me. If I were a "normal" man I would do my best to sweep her off her feet. However, I need to be the woman and wife in the relationship.

Eventually a tall woman, who was a few years older than me, walked out of an office and introduced herself as Francine. I introduced myself, as Marcy. I was surprised. Then I explained who Susan was. I followed her back into the room she came out of. I told her about my feelings since early childhood. I told her how I used to dress up in mom's clothes. Mom thought it was cute, but one day, dad saw me and decided to make a man out of me. He wasn't going to let me be a sissy. He insisted I learn all the sports including football, and boxing, which I
hated. I was miserable until I saw gymnastics in the Olympics. Those girls
were graceful and I wanted to be like them. When I told dad that I wanted to try out for the high school gymnastics he was thrilled. I never told him that I really wanted to compete with the other girls. I also told the psychologist that my best friends were girls and that I had a crush in high school on a boy named Bruce Mitchell. The same was true in college. I fell in love with my freshman roommate, Rodger Milano.

I had to move out because I was afraid he would find out. My roommate after my freshman year was a girl named Annabel. That placated dad who though we were lovers. When she got pregnant as a junior and then married the father, dad was shocked. By then I had managed to get an intern with Goldenberg & Saccharine where I learned my craft. The session ended then. She then gave me a card for a medical doctor, and walked me to the door. She finally told me that she had started her transition when she was a little younger than me. I smiled at her and thanked her. I made another appointment to speak to her. I was on cloud nine. I was on the road to womanhood. She also suggested I join one of the group session that met at Ingersol. I chose one that met on Wednesday evenings.

My visit to the doctor was uneventful. I found out this doctor was also someone who had transitioned. She did the usual exam and told me I was a healthy as a horse, but she still needed to check my urine and blood work. A few days later she asked me to come in again. She gave me a shot in the butt, and then gave me a prescription for Premarin. It would last only a month. I asked the doctor for a longer prescription, but she refused because she said she wanted to make sure I didn't have problems.

"What problems?" I asked.

"Liver problems are the main ones," the doctor told me. "You could also get high blood pressure."

I had several more dates with Winston over the next few weeks. He was a gentleman during all those wonderful evenings and weekends. I just had to tell him about me before our relationship went too far. I made a candlelight dinner one Friday night about the fourth week we were together. I was quieter than normal trying to find the right words to tell him.

"I know you well enough by now," he said. "That I know there is something bothering you."

I nodded yes and looked down.

Winston picked up my chin and told me, "Please tell me. It can't be that bad."

"It is," I replied "It is me. I'm a transsexual. I don't want our relationship to go any deeper unless you knew this."

"Oh," was all he said. He though for a while.

Finally he took my hand and said, "I love you, and you are the girl of my dreams. I don't care that you were born a boy. Actually I do care, but you are who I want. At this time I actually miss you when I'm not with you."

I was crying as I went to his arms. The one I was most afraid to loose accepted me as me.

That Monday I went to my office and noticed that Susan was not at her desk. I assumed that she was on an errand because I noticed her car parked next to mine. After having some coffee, I went about my work. An hour later I began to get worried. Susan is normally not like that. I asked Goodsale's secretary if she had seen Susan. She told me no, but I had a feeling that something was wrong. I couldn't place it. About 11 in the morning I received a call from Goodsale's secretary for me to go to his office. After finishing some minor work, I got off my computer and went to Goodsale's office.

I walked in Bill's office and saw Susan tied up, gagged, and blindfolded. I didn't like the looks of things.

"What's going on?" I asked Bill.

"I want you to switch bodies with her."

"Are you a magician or something?"

"Wizard, witch, what ever," Bill told me, nonchalantly. "Just know I can do it. I know you want it."

"What does she say about it?"

"Don't worry about that," Bill replied.

"Does she consent?" I demanded.

"Ask her."

I went over to remove the gag.

"No, ask her the way she is," Bill demanded.

"You don't have enough money," I told him as I was seething. "You didn't even have it when your stock was at it's highest."

"You'll have everything you've always wanted including being my mistress."

I turned around and walked over to Bill. To say that I was angry would be putting it mildly. I put my hand around his throat so my now long fingernails were touching his skin.

"Release her or I'll pull your guts out."

"Be reasonable, Mark."

There was fear in his eyes and voice.

"I said, 'release her'. I haven't killed anyone since the war."

I dug the nails slightly into his skin. For a few moments I was afraid I would have to carry out my threat.

"Release her," he said to his bodyguard. Then to me, "You're fired!"

"No shit!"

The goon untied her hands and feet. I waited until she walked out of the office free before I walked out the door.

When I passed the bodyguard I looked at him in the eyes and said, "Try it. I will claim self defense."

I went to my office and cleaned out my desk and rode the elevator down to the first floor. I walked out the door and then over to the curb near my car and sat down. I put my elbows on my knees as my hands held my face. I started to sing a song that I had adapted from a book title by Irma Bombeck,

"Life is just a bowl of cherries and I've got all of the pits; life is just a bowl of cherries, and I've got all of the pits;" ect.

Then I cried.

After a while, Susan came out of the building, walked over, and sat down next to me. She put an arm around me. I leaned into her and rested my head on her shoulder.

She kissed me on my hair as she said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Eventually I managed to stop crying.

"How are you doing?"

"Great! I managed to loose the best job on Earth, nearly killed my boss, and lost my opportunity to get my greatest wish: to be a gal. But I couldn't do that to you."

"You could still have your wish."

"How? I can't afford the operation now."

"I'm a witch. Would you rather be my sister or daughter?"

"Don't tease me now, please."

"I'm very serious about this. You could become a witch, too."

"You're serious."

"I wouldn't tease you now."

"Why didn't you do this before?" I asked. "You know how much I need to be a genuine girl."

"When Bill and I made love those may years ago that resulted in my..my abortion, he took my powers from me. You gave it back to me by forcing him to release me. His magic became weaker."

"Sounds like he's still dangerous."

"Very. So, how are going to be related?"

I thought about it for a few minutes.

"I think I'd rather call you mom."

"I'm only 24. That would make you 6 at the best. It would mean growing up again, going to school."

"Gives me time to learn. But what about Winston?"

"I knew there was something I liked about you," she said as she hugged me. "I'll ask him if he wants to grow up with you. Next door, perhaps?"

"That would be nice. I could be his girlfriend right away."

"Things could work out that way. There are no guarantees with love, however.
Ready?"

"Ready," I replied.

Suddenly I was no longer leaning on her shoulder. I was between her arm and her waist with my head below her breast. I looked down and noticed I was wearing a yellow and white dress. I wore yellow sneakers and white bobby sox with a yellow trim and bow. I turned around and gave Susan a hug around the neck.

"Thank you, mommy!" I told her

I thought as I stood on her thigh.

"Who am I?" I asked.

"Irene."

"Who is daddy?"

"Billy Goodsales, right now Billy Goat Goodsales. He's eating some of the papers on his desk. After he's finished he'll become a man again."

"Tummy?"

"Don't worry, I've changed the paper into food."

"Good. What about the goon?"

"He's now a gorilla. She's making a mess of the office. They'll change back together."

I put my forefinger on and then in my mouth.

"I like."

"Hey, we both lost our jobs today. How about we go to the beauty parlor and get our hair done? That should perk us up."

"Nails too?" I asked

"Nails too. And after we can bake some cookies," she said as she got up and put me on her hip and started to walk to her car.

"Can Winny help bake too?" I asked. Can we lick the bowl?" I asked.

"If there is time before dinner," she laughed.

"I have the best mommy in the world." I told her as I gave her the biggest hug I could.

During that hug I realized who I actually was. I was that abortion she had so many years ago. By giving me the gift of making me her daughter and a genetic girl she gave herself a gift by not having that hole in her heart.

The title is based on a Talmudic story of a pearl found tied to the neck of a donkey as a present to a rabbi. His students had presented the animal to him so the rabbi could do his work of selling and fixing pots. The rabbi asked his students if they had bought a donkey or a donkey and a pearl. When they said, "A donkey," he returned the pearl to the former owner of the donkey, a non-Jew. When the jewel was returned, the former owner said, "Blessed is the G_d of the Jews."

"What that man said," the rabbi told his students, "is more precious than all the pearls in the world."

I thank my editors, Jenna Hitch, Norman O Johnson and Davenport without
whom this story would have been missing too much. I also thank Jacquie Windsor who gave me the idea for this story.

For My Daughters

by shalimar

Chapter 1

Esther and Grace played with the tea set Albert had set out for them on a small table in the corner of the room. He had placed their tiny table there so he could keep an eye on them as he scrubbed the counters. Al had washed the dishes the two girls had used for dinner, and then he made sure the kitchen sparkled before he gave them his full attention.

Rebecca entered the kitchen from the living room where she had been reading a steamy romance novel. She hadn’t spoke three civil words to him for the past two hours and Albert didn’t have a clue what was wrong.

“Do you have to wear an apron when you do the dishes?”

Her frown told Al that she could be having one of her migraines.

“Better to be safe than sorry,” he smiled and offered her a cold glass of water and an aspirin.

She shook her head, sat at the kitchen table with her eyes closed, and sighed.

Grace beat their table with her tin teacup. They would celebrate her first birthday in two weeks; and she had been proudly saying her first words, one of which was “mom” whenever she could. She was beginning to have two word sentences.

She looked up and pointed toward Albert, “Mom.”

Rebecca sniggered. “She’s got that right.”

Having finished with his dusting of the cabinets, Albert got down on the floor with their children. “Does Gracie-kins want more tea?”

Esther giggled at her father’s baby talk, but Rebecca scowled.

“Must you?” Rebecca asked. “The other day Mary saw you playing with the girls and told me you’re the perfect nanny.”

Al beamed, “Being a good father is my highest priority. When one of your best friends says something like that, it makes me proud.“

“That’s just it. Mary isn’t only MY good friend, she’s your friend as well. Frankly Albert, most of my friends treat you like one of the girls. And I don’t blame them.”

Al reached over and showed Esther how to keep her skirt pulled down to cover her legs. Even though his daughter was only three he had to make sure she understood basic modesty.

“What do you mean you ‘don’t blame them’?”

Rebecca perked up, as if her headache had suddenly subsided.

“Albert,” she used his full name when she was angry with him. “You don’t seemed to know it, but you’re more of a girly-girl than I am.”

Al sat Grace in his lap and hugged her while he nuzzled her hair.

“I don’t think that’s remotely possible,” he spoke in a soft voice as he always did around the girls because Al believed children need a non-threatening environment.

“Not only is it possible, it’s a reality,” She grabbed the two aspirin he had set on the table and gulped them down with half the glass of water he had provided, “You are a good provider. We finally have the money for the down payment on a house, but I’m not happy.”

She tipped her glass toward him in a salute.

“The s — e — x is good. Isn’t it.” he offered with a grin.

She snickered before staring at the calendar on the wall, as if she were counting the days for some reason, “When my friends are over, you’re right there in the room with us dishing gossip and exchanging recipes.”

He shrugged, “I thought we decided we would have an equal marriage. You don’t really like to cook so . . .”

“That’s not true,” she said, showing some desperation. “It’s just that you’re better at it and the girls eat everything you make without us having to force it on them.”

Tears ran down her face; and she made no effort to hide them.

Albert got off the floor and went to her. He stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders.

“Your mom will be over in a few minutes, so we can go out to celebrate.”

Her shoulders shook as she shoved his hands away, “Even your touch feels like a woman’s. I didn’t realize it then but it was like that the first time we made love, on our honeymoon. You were a virgin. I thought back then I could help you change, to become a man. Boy, was I ever wrong. Better make it, GIRL, was I ever wrong.”

Al stood back, not knowing where to put his hands, since she didn’t want him touching her. He finally clasped them together in front of his chest and fell to his knees next to where she sat. He smiled to reassure her but she just frowned.

“You’re just worried about the house. It’s okay. My stock and bond portfolio is in good shape. We can afford it.”

Al felt uncomfortable under her stare and finally dropped his hands to his side with his fingers pointed straight down so as not to offend her.

“Why are you doing this when everything has come together for us?” he asked. “Mom and Dad want a smaller place, something they can keep up without so much work. Mom said she can hardly do all the dusting and vacuuming anymore. It’ll be perfect. The schools are still among the best in the state. I even know some of the teachers.”

“Mary agrees with me,” Rebecca said accusingly. “Do you understand?”

Al shook his head, mystified.

“And not only Mary,” she went on. “All our friends agree you’re driving me crazy. They tell me I need to do something. . .something to change the way things are between us.”

“Are you unhappy?”

Al checked to make sure the toy Grace had been chewing was clean. He expected Rebecca would say “no” -- as in his opinion they had a nearly perfect life: beautiful children, no financial worries, a doting husband. What more could she want?

“I’m miserable,” she said quietly as she got to her feet, leaving no doubt about the truth of her statement.

She went into their bedroom and packed her clothes into two suitcases.

When her mother arrived, Rebecca told her, “Mom, I can’t stand it anymore here. Take me home. I’m leaving.”

Chapter 2

Esther asked, “Why did other mommy yell at you an why did she go wid grandma?”

“I don’t know, honey. I think she needs some time to rest. Could you and Grace be good girls while I call your other grandparents?”

“Yes, mommy,” Esther said. “I play wid her.”

Grace just smiled as she continued to play.

Al got on the phone and called his parents. Even though it was only four rings it seemed like hours before his mother, Alice picked up.

“Hello?” she said.

“Mom, Becky just left me,” he said through tears. “Her mom came over to watch the girls so we could go out to celebrate buying the house, but she said that I was acting like one of the girls. She packed a suitcase and left.”

“You are a girl, sweetie.”

“What?”

“Except for giving me grandchildren you were never a man or even a boy. When you were young you preferred to play with your sisters or the other girls in the neighborhood, never with the boys.”

Al was surprised by what his mother said until he realized that most of his childhood friends had been girls. The most important exception had been his next door neighbor and best friend, Mark.

“Do you remember that you liked to play dress up and play the mommy with the other girls? I remember the time you cried when Susan’s mother said you couldn’t go to the slumber party and the happy smile you had when you came home from Linda’s house with makeup and a skirt. You were so happy I couldn’t bear to make you take it off, and like a good girl you helped me make dinner. You did that every day until just before you married Becky.”

Al smiled as he listened to some of his childhood memories.

“Mom,” he confessed. “I can’t stay here alone tonight. Can we sleep at your place tonight?”

“Just let yourself in if we’re asleep when you get here. You have a key.”

Chapter 3

When he got to his parent’s Grace and Esther were already asleep. He took them into the house and with Alice’s help put them into the beds that his parents had provided for their sleepovers. They went out and brought in the suitcases. And brought them up to the rooms.

When he was finished and out of the girls’ bedroom, his mother told him, “Rebecca is right. You are a good mother.”

“Thanks, mom,” he said as he kissed her. “But I don’t have the right plumbing or shape to be a mother.”

“Al,” his mother said when they were finished. “Remember what you said when you were about eleven and you came home crying from Linda’s house because she needed a bra.”

“I said I wanted breasts too, just like the other girls. You told me I was your girl. Then you called me Alison.”

“I think it is time you became Alison.”

“I don’t know.”

“You are Alison more than Albert, and the girls need a mother. You’d be perfect. With some hormones you could even get those breasts you wanted, and if you still want it, get the right plumbing.”

Al looked at his mother and smiled. He knew that he always wanted to be a girl and his mother was encouraging him to do that.

“Come with me and help me make your bed,” she continued.

Sadly, Al nodded in agreement and followed her to his old room. As they finished making the bed, little Grace, woke in her crib and cried. Al went to his one-year-old and picked her up. In the dim light he changed the baby. She was a little hungry so he gave her a small bottle. As he fed her he rocked her to sleep. He used the same rocking chair his mother had used when he and his sisters were babies as Alice watched her son take care of her grandchild.

“So are you going to become Alison?”

“I don’t know, mom. Is it the right thing to do?”

“In your heart, and theirs, you are their mother,” she explained. “You have always been more loving and caring in that way than Becky, and much better than the average man. In fact you are at least as good as the average woman. I know you hurt right now and miss Rebecca, but you will do fine with these girls and they will know that you are their mother.”

“If that is true,” he said. “Then I have you and dad to thank. There is a lot of both of you in me.”

“You are not going to say, ‘I’m just like my mother! Ahhhhhhhh!’?”

“In this way, I want to be like my mother,” he said as he smiled and kissed her.

“Albert, we’ll help you anyway we can,” she said as she put her arm around his waist.

“I think I can let you spoil my daughters rotten,” he said as he leaned into her.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Alison,” she said. Then she asked, “What are you going to sleep in?”

“It’s late May, mom,” he replied. “This time of the year I sleep in the nude.”

“Why not start being Alison tonight? You’re my size so you’ll wear one of my nightgowns. If the only thing stopping you is your fear, then do it.”

“Are you sure this is the right thing to do?”

“Those girls of yours are going to wake up at the crack of dawn and find you in your bed and will discover you are naked as they try to wake you. You’ve got to wear something. That nightgown I have should fit you,” she replied, examining him with a critical eye.

Al smiled, “Just don’t make it too fancy.”

“I think you’ll look pretty,” Alice said before she went upstairs to her bedroom and brought down a dusty rose nightgown that had ruffles on the hem and flowers printed on it.

“It’s pink!” he said to her. “And it has ruffles and flowers. Couldn’t you find one that is a little less feminine?”

“Do you want to be Alison or Albert? Besides, this will fit.”

“But, mom,” he pleaded.

“Don’t ‘but, mom’ me!” she replied. “Stop complaining, girl.”

Al took the nightgown and put it on. He looked in the mirror and saw how pretty he was even with the small stubble of a beard he occasionally showed. Al wondered if his mother also saw him as a girl.

After he put on the nightgown, Alice told him, “You see, sweetie, you look pretty.”

Alice hugged and kissed him and he hugged back before she left for her own bedroom where her husband had already gotten dressed for the night.

‘I don’t know if I want Becky back more or to be Alison,’ he said to himself as he finally got into the nightgown and lay down. “Right now I’ll go with the flow.”

He had difficulty falling asleep as he thought about Rebecca, but sleep finally overtook him.

Chapter 4

Al didn’t sleep well that night. One of his dreams included Becky and his mother taking him down the isle to get married. He realized he was standing next to a man and was smiling up at him.

Al knew he was the bride as he finally said, “I do.”

He felt the ring slip on his finger and heard, “You may kiss the bride.”

When the man kissed him, Al knew who it was, Mark. Al kissed Mark back with all his might as he melted in his arms. It didn’t bother Al that he actually enjoyed being kissed by his boyhood friend. When the wedding faded Al smiled in his semi dreaming and semi wakeful state thinking about Mark. Mark had once told Al that if Al were a girl he would marry her. Al had told Mark that he would accept if some magic could change him to a girl. Just then he dreamed that Mark was screaming.

Chapter 5

But it was Grace’s wailing that woke him up that early morning. Still needing sleep, he bleary eyed picked up his daughter and talked to her softly so as not to wake Esther, his three-year-old. As he did, he checked Grace’s diaper that needed to be changed again.

While he was changing the baby’s diaper, Esther woke up, jumped out of bed and gave her father a hug around his leg.

“Mommy!” his older one shouted as she gave him a hug.

His daughter’s comment made him smile.

“Mommy?” his confused daughter asked. “Why you dresses likes other mommy?”

“We went to grandma and grandpa’s home. I wanted to sleep without any clothes, but grandma told me that it wouldn’t be nice for you to see me naked.”

“Why wes at grandma’s and grandpa’s?” asked Esther. “Where other mommy?“

“Mommy is at your other grandma’s house,” Al told her. “She said to me last night that she couldn’t live with me any more.”

“But mommies and daddies supposed to live together. And dey supposed to take care of der babies.”

“They are,” he replied. “But sometimes it doesn’t work out that way. I hope that mommy and I can get back together, but I don’t know.”

“Where I be?” asked Esther. “Wif you or wif mommy?”

“I don’t know,” Al told his daughter. “Right now, I think with me. And Grace will be with us, too. Isn’t that right?” he asked the baby as he smiled.

When he finished changing her, Grace smiled and put her hands up to her father to ask to be picked up which he did before picking up Esther so that his two girls could see his face.

“How about you go make pee-pee and wash your hands and face while I wash Grace’s hands and face,” Al suggested to Esther. “Then we’ll go downstairs to the kitchen and I’ll make us breakfast.”

“I need help, mommy.”

Smiling, Al helped his daughter.

When they got down to the kitchen Al warmed a bottle for Grace and gave her some Cheerios on the table of her highchair. While the bottle was warming he put some Cheerios in a bowl and poured the milk for Esther and taking a half of a banana put half of that into Esther’s bowl, and gave the other quarter to Grace. By that time Grace’s bottle was warm so he gave it to her. Cutting the remainder of the banana into his bowl of Cheerios, he then sat down and ate, instinctively fixing the skirt part of his nightgown as he sat. He didn’t know it at the time, but his mother and father watched Al make breakfast before they entered the kitchen.

“You’re a good mother to these kids,” Bob, his father told him.

“You don’t mind dad?” Al asked to his father as he gave his mother a short hug and kiss. “If I didn’t know better I’d say this is a conspiracy between my wife, my two parents and my two daughters. Yet, I like being Alison.”

“Mommy look pretty,” Esther told her grandma.

“I think so too, Esther,” her grandmother said. “What do you think, Gracie?”

“Mommy pretty!” Grace replied as she pointing towards Al.

As she chewed a Cheerio she tried to get a hug from her father.

“You mean you all want me to stay like this?” he asked.

The four of them nodded, as Grace smiled.

“Then maybe I should. But I need Becky back more.”

“You’re going to do this for the children,” his mother said. “I know my doctor takes care of a few transsexuals. I will make an appointment with her this afternoon.”

“I don’t know if I want to do that yet, mom. I want Rebecca back.”

“Son,” Bob interjected. “I don’t know why I’m doing this, but I guess I can’t call you that anymore. Honey, Becky was no good for you. You are better off without her. We tried to tell you that, but you were in love with her and I know you still are. But the only good thing she did for you is to give you our precious granddaughters.”

“You have enough investments that you can take off from work,” Alice added. “You need to take care of your children.”

“Being a jeweler, you can also do some work at home around taking care of your girls and the house,” his father agreed.

“Then it’s settled,” his mother proclaimed.

“How come you are deciding my life without my input or consent?” Al asked. “I’m not a three-year-old.”

“You are doing it for YOUR three-year-old, AND your one-year-old,” Bob explained. “We’ll move into the apartment in the back that we had for your grandparents until they finally needed to go to that health related facility. That way we can help. We’ll do it soon so you can leave the apartment you’re living in.”

“Besides, what the doctor will do for you is reversible in the beginning,” added his mother.

Al looked at his daughters. He did want to change, and he knew his daughters needed a mother. With what Becky said last night he didn’t know if she would ever come back.

“I may live to regret this,” Al agreed. “But we’ll try it for a while.”

“That’s the attitude,” his mother told him. “I have a skirt, blouse and sandals that would look good on you. And I have a new pair of panties for you. I’ll help you with your makeup.”

“Should I go that far?” Al asked.

“You DO want to be a MOTHER to these girls. Don’t you?” she responded.

“But a skirt, panties AND makeup?”

“No daughter of mine is going to dress like a slob, young lady. You are going to dress properly and be presentable to the doctor. Am I understood?”

Al was shocked. His mother had never talked to him like that before. While he sat there, dumbfounded, Esther giggled.

“Why are you laughing?” asked Al.

“Grandma be mommy ta mommy.”

“Grandma is mommy’s mommy, honey,” Al told his daughter.

It was then that Al realized that his mother was only trying to help.

“OK, ma,” he said. “I kind of like wearing this nightgown, and I want to go along with you for the moment. You’ll help me get the children dressed and then I’ll make sure they are happily playing before I follow your lead.”

“I’m glad you came to your senses, girl, even if it meant your daughter had to teach you,” his mother said.

‘Mother, PLEASE!’ Al thought.

Getting the children dressed was fairly simple. Both the children played in the bathtub for about half an hour before they were put into some play clothes that included two hot pink “Grrls rules” t-shirts and maroon shorts for the two of them. Except for their ages they looked like twins.

While his father watched the girls, Al was told to take a bath and shave the little hair he had on his body. While he was getting ready for the bath, his mom dropped some scented oil into the bath then left a violet silk bathrobe on a hook in the bathroom. It had ruffles on the sleeves and hem of the skirt. Al liked the robe and wondered what his mother would give him to wear for the appointment.

When he was finished he put on the robe and walked up the stairs to his parents’ room as he was instructed. On the bed were his clothes for the day. The skirt was a red and green plaid. And the top was a matching green halter. His panties were red with ruffles. Gladly he put everything on, knowing well his mother preferred him as Alison.

“Now, sit down at the vanity,” his mother told him when he was dressed. When he was seated she wrapped a plastic cape around his shoulders, “We don’t have too much time. The doctor’s appointment is in two hours and she’s about fifteen minutes away.”

“Wanna watch,” Esther said at the bedroom door.

“Come in and you can see me make your mother look pretty,” her grandma told her.

First his mother took out the nail file and filed his nails into a more feminine shape. When she was finished with the hands she did his toes. Esther climbed on Al’s lap while this was happening.

As Alice took a bright red nail polish from the draw of the vannity Esther told her grandmother, “Wanna have polish too.”

“Want to play twenty nails?” asked Alice.

“Wat’s dat?”

“While we put the polish on each nail we count each nail we’ve done.”

“Yeah!”

So Alice and Al counted each nail with Esther as a layer of polish went on each nail of first Al’s then Esther’s fingers. While the polish was drying Alice worked on Al’s hair, which was long for a man, yet short for a woman.

“This will have to do until your hair grows out a bit,” she told him.

He winced as she plucked his eyebrows to that perfect arch.

She then applied the second coat of the fast drying polish on Al’s fingers. Satisfied she applied the facial base coat. Next came the mascara and eyeliner and eye shadow. The shadow had three colors, which she blended expertly. A multicolored blush was then applied. A final topcoat was added to the polish. While it was drying she applied a matching lipstick, which felt funny on his lips. When Esther asked her if she could have lipstick, Alice put some on her, also.

“You have to learn to do this yourself,” Alice told him.

Alice gave Al her gold braded necklace, two gold and diamond bracelets and an ankle bracelet and sandals to finish the look. When she was finished doing him Alice turned the vanity stool around and let Al look in the vanity mirror for the first time. He couldn’t believe what he saw. Staring back at him, except for his slightly shorter hair, was the spitting image of Maggie, the older of his two younger sisters.

Esther looked at Al’s reflection in the mirror and said, “Mommy look pretty.”

Something within Al made him smile with pride.

“Thank you, Esther,” he replied as he hugged his child. “That lipstick makes you look pretty, too.”

His mother had him look at his reflection in her full-length mirror. He liked the image of the young woman that stared back at him.

“I actually look good this way,” he told his mother.

“I’m glad you like it,” his mother told him.

“I think I might even get used to this,” he told his mother as he kissed her. “But I need to practice this. Could you help?”

Looking back at the mirror he noticed that he was flat chested. There weren’t even molehills between his neck and groin.

“Mom,” Al noted. “I’m flatter than Kansas. Can you do something?”

“That’s why we’re going to the doctor’s today,” she responded. “She’ll give you some ‘girl pills.’”

“Can we do anything now?” Al asked. “Just for the look?”

“I think I still have one of your sister, Kay’s, padded bras here from when she was much younger,” she replied. “If it doesn’t fit, I have some extenders.”

Going into her closet she came out about twenty minutes later with the bra. It was a tight fit so Alice added an extender.

With the top on again, Al looked in the mirror and saw his pretend cleavage.

“That’s much better,” he said.

After Al tried to put his hands in the nonexistent pockets of his skirt he asked, ”How do I carry my wallet and keys? I have no pockets”

“That’s what a pocketbook is for,” Alice explained while Esther giggled. “Here’s a green one that will match your skirt and blouse.”

Before the three of them went downstairs to where Grace was playing in front of her grandfather, Al put his keys and wallet in his “new” purse.

“Wow!” Bob said. “You look just as pretty as your sisters. You know, I want you to be my son, not a girl, yet, you seem right this way.”

“Picky up, mommy!” cried Grace.

“I thought so, too, daddy.” Al said as he picked her up.

‘Daddy?’ Al thought. ‘I may be getting into being Alison more than I expected.’

“Daddy,” Al continued. “May I call Becky? I want to try to talk to her. Maybe what I’m doing won’t be necessary.”

“Suit yourself, honey,” Bob said. “But I think you would be better off without her.”

“Whether that is true, is less important than I love her and need her. And the kids miss her, too.”

“I don’t think so,” Alice told him. “Look how happy they are without her.”

By the end of that sentence Al was already at the phone. Not only didn’t he hear what she said but also, he still didn’t want to hear it. After three rings his mother-in-law picked up.

“Hi, mom. This is Al. Is Becky there?”

“Rebecca doesn’t want to talk to you, Al,” his mother-in-law told him. “She also told me in case you called, to tell you to get a lawyer. She wants a divorce.”

“A divorce?” Al asked, still not believing what he just heard.

“I’m sorry, Al,” she said. “If it were up to me you would still be together, but she said she has made up her mind.”

“What does she want from me with the divorce?”

“Nothing,” his mother-in-law said.

“What about the girls?”

“Not even them. She says that they think you are their mother so she isn’t going to make them miserable by fighting for them.”

“Tell her I’ll be reasonable with visitation rights.”

“That is kind of you, Al.”

“Kindness has nothing to do with it. The girls need their mother.”

“I think you would be a better mother than she would.”

“Not you too,” Al said, surprised that everyone seemed to be thinking the same way.

“I tried to teach Rebecca well, but it didn’t work out that way.”

“I also have ulterior motives,” he continued. “I’m hoping that by her seeing them she might want to be with me again.”

“I hope so, too, but I don’t think it will happen. I’ve seen her this stubborn before. I’m really sorry, Al.”

“Mom, don’t be a stranger either. The girls need their other grandparents.”

“We will, and thank you for still calling me mom.”

“You have done much for Rebecca and me, mom. I just can’t stop loving you or Becky, even if she wants to end our marriage. Perhaps you can help her see things differently.”

Then Al heard his mother-in-law crying on the other end.

“I’m sorry, ma. I didn’t mean to upset you. The best I can do right now is give you a hug over the phone.”

“It is just that I don’t think that I will be seeing you as much as I would like to in the near future. I wish it would be different. And I feel that hug.”

“Are you sure there is no way I can talk to Rebecca?”

“Let me see.”

Al heard both of them talking in the background. Rebecca sounded angry.

“What?” Rebecca asked in an annoyed tone.

“I want you back, Rebecca. I need you and love you.”

“I am very serious about us getting a divorce,” Becky icily told him. “I love you and the children very much, but I have been very unhappy since Grace was born, maybe before, and I want out of the marriage.”

“You are unhappy? Why?”

“I just can’t deal with you being the mother of our children,” she explained. “It is not you. I think there’s something wrong with me. I need to straighten myself out before I can continue with our relationship. I doubt that that will ever happen.”

“But I love you and need you. I don’t know how I will get along without you.”

“You will find a way to get on with life, Al.”

“And the girls need their mommy.”

“You are a better mother to them that I will ever be. Take care of them. They will need you.”

“Please, Rebecca, reconsider. I need you.”

“This is tough enough as it is, Al. I’ve thought about this a long time. I need my sanity and right now that means my freedom. I’m sorry Al. I wish things were different. Don’t call me again. Contact me only though our lawyers.”

“Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”

“Be a man.”

“Huh?”

“You’re a good mother, Al, because you are a woman,” she finally admitted. “That is because you act and think like a woman. I feel like we’re in a lesbian relationship. The only way you’re not is that you have that penis that got me pregnant with our girls.”

“How can you say we’re lesbians if I’m a man.”

“Only between your legs. You even walk and sit like a girl. Listen to me carefully. Even your voice sounds more like a woman’s that and man’s. We have a number of girlfriends? You don’t treat them as if we are your harem. They are GIRL friends to you.”

“So?”

“That’s why I have to leave. I’m not a lesbian and I can’t deal with you because you are a woman who dresses like a man. I’m sorry.”

“I’m a man,” he said trying to convince himself.

“You are? You are even color coordinated. What are the girls wearing?”

“The Girrls Rule t-shirts and maroon shorts.”

“And you?”

“Green,” he said.

“The only thing missing is your green pocketbook.”

“That I have.”

“And your skirt is completely green?”

“There is some red in it. Oops!”

“See?”

“I still love you.”

“I’m not a lesbian.”

“Where will you go? What will you do?”

“I will be at my parents’ home until I find a place to live. You will not know where that is.”

“No matter what you do you will always have a home with us,” Al assured her.

“Thank you, Al,” she replied. “I appreciate that, but I don’t think I will ever come back.”

“And please change your mind.” Al suggested, but the phone went dead before he even spoke those words.

Al realized he was crying. Alice was listening by the kitchen entrance at the time and consoled Al with a hug as she listened as he told her what happened.

After a few minutes she told him that they must get ready. Because his tears ruined his makeup, she fixed it so he would be presentable again.

“We’re taking the girls,” she said as she finished. “We’ll go to the park so they can play after you see the doctor.”

“OK,” Al responded. “I’ll get the diaper bags and changes for the kids. What about lunch? We’ll be out through then.”

“Help me pack a lunch for the outing.”

Chapter 6

They took Alice’s car. Fortunately Al didn’t have to wait long for the doctor.

“Hi Gina,” Alice said as she gave the doctor a hug. “This is Alison. You know her as Albert. Ally, this is my good friend, Gina.”

“We’ll see what we can do for you, Ally.”

“And who are these two lovely children?” Gina asked.

“They are my daughters,” Alison replied.

“They are cute,” the doctor said to Ally. Then to the girls, “Don’t worry, kids. I’m going to be the doctor for your mommy today.”

Concerned, Esther asked, “You give him a shot?”

“I don’t know,” Gina replied. “We’ll see if it is necessary.”

Trying to be a big girl, Esther said, “Dey hurt, Mommy.”

“I know, sweetie,” Alison replied. “The doctor and I will decide if I need one.”

“Here’s a lollypop for each of you,” Gina added. “Now be good girls while I take care of your mommy.”

Alice unwrapped the lollypops for her grandchildren while Ally followed the doctor to the examining room.

“Now that we’re alone,” the doctor said as she checked his blood pressure. “Tell me about yourself.”

“Well,” Ally said. “My wife left me last night. We are probably headed for a divorce. I’m going to be the one having custody of the kids. They need a mother. I’m doing this for them.”

“And how do you feel about doing it?”

“I’ve felt like I was a girl since I was old enough to know that there were boys and girl. I didn’t realize how much I did until my wife left me.”

Alison was directed to the scale where she was weighed and her height taken.

“So you really want to do this?”

Ally thought about that as the doctor listened to her chest.

Finally Ally told the doctor, “I am Alison so if you don’t put me on hormones I’d be disappointed.”

“How did you have theses thoughts or feelings before?” asked Gina as she did Ally’s blood pressure.

“When I was younger I often played with my sisters as their sister. Most of my friends were girls, but since I’ve been an adult I never even dressed in fem.” Ally replied. “But the weird part about this is that the more I do this the more I want to do this. And the longer I do it the more I think I’m doing the right thing.”

“Do you like men?”

“I was never gay. I was always straight, except for a dream last night,” Al said before explaining the dream.

“Are you aware that the hormones could possibly have you liking men?”

Ally thought for a few minutes.

“If it does, it does.” Ally finally responded. “That way the girls might eventually have a father. If I still like girls then I won’t mind a lesbian relationship. Rebecca, that’s my wife, said ours was.”

After a few more basic examination procedures the doctor said, “I’m going to take some blood for some tests and I want a urine sample. You will make an appointment with me for a week from today. If the labs are good then you can start on the estrogen.”

“You can’t do anything now?”

“It would be malpractice for me to start you on anything without making sure you are healthy enough for me to give you anything. The only other thing I can do for you right away, is to get you in touch with a shrink so that your real life test time can start sooner,” Gina said as she wrote the name of a specialist dealing in transgender issues on one of her prescription pads.

“Real life test?” Alison asked.

“At the very minimum, you must be officially living as a woman for a year before they will do the operation.”

“Operation?”

Sexual reassignment surgery.”

“What’s involved there?”

For a few seconds Ally was a little squeamish at the prospect of loosing her present sexual organs after Gina told her what would be done. For a split second she started to put her hand down there in an effort to protect her jewels. But the longer she thought about it, the more she liked the idea that eventually she would be complete. When Ally got dressed she did something that was out of character for Al, she gave Gina a hug.

Chapter 7

After taking care of the co-payment for the visit, Ally and her family went to the park. Ally sat and talked to her mother as the children played. Eventually another mother said hello to Ally and asked if she was new to the neighborhood.

“I’m probably buying my parents’ home,” Ally replied. “The kids and I stayed the night there and we decided to come to the park for a while. I guess when we settle in we will be regulars here.”

“It is good of your husband to let you buy your childhood home,” she replied.

Ally started to cry.

“What’s the matter, dear?” asked the other woman.

“I…I” said Ally through tears. “I’m getting a divorce.”

The other woman put her arm around Ally as she explained and continued to cry. The other woman eventually asked Ally how she could buy the house if she was getting a divorce. When Ally explained how she had investments that would pay for it the woman understood. Although she didn’t know it, the crying was actually a cleansing act for Ally. She needed to start to get over Becky and this was the first act.

The rest of the time the two talked about the pros and cons of diapers, Pampers, Loves, and Huggies, the best way to toilet train and where to shop. Alison even got a beauty parlor suggestion. When Alison had time to think about the conversation later she realized she enjoyed talking to the other mother. Even the crying had been a positive sharing.

Later Alice and Ally took the children to Friendly’s to have some ice cream.

While they were there, Ally told her mother, “You know, you shouldn’t have suggested these changes, and I should be screaming my head off about them. Also, Dad and the kids should be at least a little upset about this. Yet everyone, including me, is comfortable with them.”

“Maybe we all see the real you and that’s Alison, not Albert.”

“That could be,” she replied. “And I know I’m doing this for the kids but I’m also doing it because it feels right.”

“Remember that you don’t have to go along with anything because you are supposed to. That would be wrong. Do it because in you heart you know it is right. Also, you can always change your mind.”

Alison put her hand in her mother’s, “Thank you, mom. I knew you’d understand. You may know me better than I do.”

“Believe or not, a parent does understand.”

“You gained a lot of wisdom since I was twelve, mom,” Alison kidded.

After everyone finished their ice cream and drinks, Alison took out her credit card and gave it to the waitress to pay.

“Is this your husband’s credit card?” the waitress asked when she returned.

Thinking quickly, Alison replied, “Yes it is.”

“I suggest you get one in your name,” the casher explained.

“We’ll take care of it as soon as we can.” Alison noted as she decided to get all her credit cards in her feminine name as soon as she could make the calls.

On the way home, Alison told her mother of her decision and why.

Alice giggled then said, “That means you’re committing yourself to being Alison.”

“I think I am Alison. Everything I’ve done so far seems right.”

“I know you don’t want to do this yet, but get Becky off all of your credit cards. It has to be done.”

Reluctantly Ally agreed.

Chapter 8

When they got home Bob gave Ally the name and phone number of his lawyer. Alison called as the girls played nearby. The attorney told Albert that he would contact Becky’s lawyer and see what arrangements were necessary after he saw Al. He also told Albert that he shouldn’t even sign the contract on the house until things were settled. Al told his lawyer that he had been informed that Becky didn’t want the children, and if that was true, Al insisted that Becky have visitation rights. The lawyer told him the amount of the retainer fee and told him to meet him in the office the next day with the check and the name of Becky’s lawyer, if possible.

After Al got off the phone he asked his mother, “What should I wear? Should I go as Alison or Albert?”

“Who are you?” she asked.

“This is all new to me. I am Alison.”

“In that case, dress as Alison. Your lawyer needs to know everything that may affect the divorce. You will need clothes. I’ll ask Bob to watch the kids while we shop, my treat.”

When Bob heard that he turned to his wife and said, “I’m losing my son because you’re turning him into a sissy and I have to pay for his change?”

“Are you really losing your son or was she always your daughter?”

“What do you think, son?”

While his parents were talking Al sat head bowed, his feet on the floor and his hands in his lap like a young lady being berated, but when his father asked he raised his head and said, “I am your daughter, daddy. It just seems right.”

“From being a man and a father to being a girly boy?”

“Yes, daddy, but not a girly boy, a mother. That is the most important part.”

“If the girls weren’t involved?”

“Then I might not have realized how necessary it is for me to be a woman and a mother, their mother.”

Esther went up to Alison and gave her a hug, “Tank you mommy. You da best mommy in the whole world.”

Returning her daughter’s hug, Alison gave her a kiss and added, “I rest my case.”

Alice took Ally to several shops in the area getting dresses, blouses, skirts, some slacks, shorts, lingerie, bras, panties, stockings, shoes and makeup. Their last stop was a jewelry counter that did ear piercing where Alison got diamond studs. They also bought a diamond necklace and a gold bracelet. They thought those clothes would take care of Alison’s needs for a few days.

After they finished they went to Al’s apartment and took the children’s clothes and some of the food. Becky had already left, taking with her most of her clothes, toiletries and jewelry. Alison found a note on the kitchen table giving her the name of Rebecca’s lawyer.

Chapter 9

Late the next morning Alison waited about a half an hour with her father before meeting with John Codero. When he found out that Alison was also Albert he verbally abused her.

“You don’t treat my daughter like that,” Bob told John. “No matter how you feel about her being a girl. Are you going to behave yourself, or is she going to have to sue you?”

“Maybe my partner could take you instead,” Codero suggested.

After a brief phone conversation his partner, Dave Seitzman, walked to the reception area and took over while Cordero left.

“I’m sorry for my partner’s behavior,” he apologized. “I understand you are Albert who wants to be known as Alison. I have no problem with that.”

She thanked him before telling him she would explain everything in the meeting room. When they were seated she handing Dave a check for the amount his partner had stipulated as a retainer.

“I’m only asking the following as your legal representative. How long have you been Alison?” he asked.

“It is complicated,” Ally replied. “Until Rebecca left me two nights ago I had thought I was a man, but everybody, including Becky, was telling me that I am a better mother to our children than she ever was. They also see me as a woman.”

“Do you see yourself as a woman?”

“Yes, after Becky left that night I couldn’t stay at the apartment alone so I took our kids and stayed at my folks house for the night. Mom gave me a nightgown to sleep in. It wasn’t the first time I had ever dressed up. I did it often when I was a kid, but I hadn’t done it since I met Rebecca. It is just that everyone thinks that I’m a girl. I know what is between my legs, but I think I am a woman between my ears.”

“Do you want your children? Does Rebecca?”

“From what I’ve been told Becky doesn’t want our kids and I couldn’t bear to be without them. It is hard enough being without Rebecca.”

“Do you know what she wants from you?”

“Apparently nothing. She just wants out of the marriage, and said what she has is enough. Here is the note that she left on the kitchen table. It spells out the basics that she wants.”

After reading the note Dave said, ”She apparently doesn’t even want visiting rights, nor any money.”

“I insist she has reasonable visiting rights. She may not want to have them, nor does she need to use them now, but when she realizes what she has done to herself and the kids I want her to know she already has those rights. I don’t want to have go to court for something that can be settled now. As far as money is concerned, she should have some. I just need enough to buy my parents’ home and to care for my babies.”

“This is the weirdest divorce I have ever heard of. I’ll talk to her lawyer and we’ll see what we can do. Now I’m telling you the following as your lawyer trying have you to keep you children. If we are dealing with her lawyer or if we are in the court for your divorce, dress as Albert.”

“Could there be a problem?”

“My partner isn’t the only one who can get angry or standoffish if you are Alison. The less complications the better, that is until I tell you differently. Otherwise I suggest you do what you need to do. In fact, I admire your courage.”

“Thank you for your advice. I will keep it in mind.”

The rest of the time Alison dealt with finances and assets that Becky and she had and what she was willing to give up or wanted to keep in the divorce. This included things that were in Albert’s name, Becky’s name and those held jointly. Dave told Ally that most personal possessions would probably remain with the main user. He gave as an example that Becky’s jewelry would remain with her.

Chapter 10

Early the next week Alison returned to the doctor’s office and officially started on hormones. She was happy that she would finally start looking, acting and feeling more like a woman, but it was actually anticlimactic for Ally, being more of a relief.

A few days later, Ally noticed that her nipples seemed sensitive and that she had two “bumps” on her chest. Ally was ecstatic and her mother thought they were cute. Finding out, Esther asked if she would get them.

“You will start to grow them in a few years,” Ally explained. “The good news is that unlike me you won’t need to take a pill to grow them.”

“Want dem now!”

“I know you do, honey, but you are still a kid. And being a kid and growing up is the most fun time of your life. You wouldn’t want to miss it.”

“But I cans do whats I wants if I’m a grownup.”

“Yes, but learning to do that is part of growing up,” Ally explained as she gave Esther a hug. “Most of the time growing up is fun.”

Ally often took her kids to the park and talked with some of the other young mothers. One lived only a couple of blocks away from Ally and had two girls the same age as Alison’s. After introducing the kids, they made arrangements to have their first play date.

One day when they got home after an exhausting afternoon for the kids, Alison was told that she needed to call her lawyer. She put the children down for a nap before calling him.

“I have good news and bad news for you, Alison,” Dave said. “The bad news is that she is insisting on a divorce. There is no way we can stop it. Unless you fight it or refuse to assist the divorce you can be single again in a matter of months.”

“I see,” Alison responded. “Did you mention counseling like I asked?”

“Yes, and her lawyer told me she had vehemently rejected that idea before we even talked, sorry. The good news is that she doesn’t want the children, nor visiting rights. I told her lawyer that you insisted that her visiting rights be in the divorce, and he quickly accepted both the idea and the terms, on the proviso that Rebecca also agreed. Her lawyer got back to me just before you called and told me she had agreed to the terms, but she won’t be using her right to see them for a while, at least.”

“Did her lawyer know what ‘a while’ meant?”

“No. He implied that she doesn’t know what that meant.”

“Well, at least she is more agreeable to seeing the children. I can’t have her cut herself off from them. It is bad enough that she is cutting herself off from me. What about her needs? What about money?”

“She claimed she only wanted what was in her name and didn’t want what was jointly held. It seemed like a ploy so when I offered the 10% of the joint holdings in exchange for no child support her lawyer asked for 30% and we compromised at the 20% you had suggested. The divorce is apparently final, except it needs to be filed and the judge has to approve it, but that’s a formality. Figure six months from now you will be a free woman. That’s it from my end. Anything you need to tell me?”

“I’m on hormones now.”

“Congratulations. That shouldn’t interfere with the divorce.”

Chapter 11

After the conversation Alison took off her wedding ring and placed it in the jewelry box she just bought. Next, Ally nervously called the phone number of the psychiatric social worker that Gina had recommended. She was surprised that the Sophia had more of a deep male voice. When she went for the interview she noticed that Sophia was taller than she was. Although she didn’t ask and Sophia didn’t say it, Ally suspected her councilor had transitioned or was in the process of doing so.

After Ally gave the preliminary data she explained how and when she had dressed as a woman before. When Rebecca left her she decided to end the charade and started the process partially to be a mother for her daughters.

“So you are doing this for you children?”

“I’m also doing this for me and I’m happier this way. This is me. I know I am a woman.”

“If you had to be Albert again to keep your daughters?”

“I’d rather not think of that.”

“I know it is painful, but you need to.”

“It would tear me up inside, but I would dress like a man to keep them. I love them and have to protect them, but I would still take the hormones. That I wouldn’t stop.”

“Why not?”

“Since I’ve been on hormones I feel calmer, and freer. I also feel like I can take care of my babies better. I don’t know if I would think enough like a mother without the pills. I enjoy my new femininity.”

“How?”

“It is liberating. I feel freer. It is a part of me.”

“You say that the pill make you think more like a woman, yet everyone said you were more of a mother than your ex.”

“That is true, but I understand more. I have a little more empathy. I believe that I’m more caring and those are definitely changes for the better.”

When the session was over she thought it went well. She made arrangements to keep the same time every week. Sophie also gave Ally information about meetings of a local transgender group.

Chapter 12

On Esther’s birthday Alison gave her a birthday party at a small amusement park a few miles from their home. She invited Esther’s nursery school class and all the four-year-olds and two-year-olds in the neighborhood she knew. The kids enjoyed the rides and the running around as the parents and teachers talked to each other as they kept an eye on their children.

Because Alison had invited her former parents-in-law, Rebecca knew about the party and showed up with them. It was the first time since they had separated that Becky had seen Alison or their children. Ally was slightly embarrassed when Becky finally recognized her because Rebecca didn’t know about Alison.

“So you want to be called Alison. Now do you understand why I want a divorce?”

“You were right. I am a woman,” she put her hand on her heart. “At least here.”

“Are you happy this way?”

“Surprisingly, yes. What about you? Are you OK?”

“I’m better, Ally. I had all this anger towards you and the children, especially my feeling that we were in a lesbian relationship. I am better off divorced. It is not your fault. I know it is illogical, but I resented the love between you and our girls. By the way, you look good and it suits you.”

“Thank you. Will what I am effect custody?”

“I need you to have custody at this time, and you should have it. You’re too good with our girls for me not to let you keep them, and I can’t deal with them for more than a few hours right now. There is the remote possibility that I might share them with you, but I don’t think that will happen.”

“I could share them with you if it is done fairly. Please visit, and not just on birthdays. You may not believe this, but they need you. If necessary, the visit could be supervised, but only if you need it.”

“You’re doing a good job without me, but I will consider it.”

“I know they would appreciate it. Just try to make arrangements so we don’t have conflicting plans.”

Esther and Grace were having so much fun that they didn’t notice Rebecca until her present was given to Esther. When Alison explained whom the present was from, the girl ran to Rebecca followed by her younger sister. They gave Becky a clinging hug that made her cry.

Becky’s presence confused some of the other mothers. Ally explained the truth to them together, and with some individually. But Denise, one of the mothers, believed that Alison was not a woman and dressing as one was a lie.

Alison pulled Denise over and tried to explain, “You believe that my shell is more important than my actions and thoughts?”

“But you’re a man!”

“Am I? Before I explained who Rebecca was did you think I was anything else but a woman?”

Denise paused, “Come to think of it, no,” she admitted.

“Did you know I was present in the birth rooms when my girls were born? Granted, I was more of a midwife than the one giving birth. Right now I care for my daughters as their mother, and they call me ‘mommy.’ I am the one that feeds them, clothes them, makes sure they have a clean and safe environment, gives them adequate play time, reads to them, takes care of them when they are sick, and of course, keeps them clean. The last part, as you know with your girl, is easier said than done. I know your husband helps, but does he really do as much care taking of your child as you do?”

“No, he doesn’t. His main job for the family is to make the money. Often he is tired and can’t do much. He does the best he can.”

Ally saw some pain in Denise’s face so she held her hand and said, “I believe that he does. I assume he would do more if he could.”

“He would. He’s that kind of person.”

“I hope to meet a man like that someday.”

“You’re so perky, I think it is only a matter of time.”

“Do you realize that you just indirectly told me I’m a woman?”

“Yep.”

“So I really don’t have to tell you that like many other single mothers with young children, I have a part-time job to help pay the bills. I feel lucky to have a job that I can do from the house. Granted, because my parents live with us, they help, but it is help and advice. They don’t take over.

Denise smiled and gave Allison a hug, “You now have a friend, dear.”

“Then come with me to the ladies room. I need to pee.”

They grabbed their bags and took care of their needs, including freshening up their faces.

Chapter 13

Ally was in a bookstore few days later looking for books for her girls and herself. She found several books for her children. Two of them had plushy toys connected to them that she knew her babies would love. She also found an interesting romance novel for herself. Taking her finds to the counter, she gave them to the handsome man at the register.

“Are any of these gifts?” he asked.

“No they are for my little girls. Why?”

“You are not wearing a wedding or an engagement ring,” he noted.

“I’m getting a divorce,” she told him. “I’m just waiting for the final papers.”

She didn’t know why she told him that, but she was smiling at him.

“Are you seeing anyone now?”

“No,” she replied as she slowly closed her eyes and opened them.

“I’m surprised that no one has tried to get you.”

“I haven’t really been looking.”

“By the way, I’m Charlie and I own this store. May I take you out for dinner and maybe a movie?”

“Sure. When?”

“How about Saturday night, say around seven? I don’t have to open the store until noon on Sunday.

“OK.”

She gave him her name phone number and address.

Chapter 14

On her next visit to Sophia Ally was excited and told her social worker all about Charles and how she’d enjoyed his company.

“Charley took me on a date for us to go dinner and a movie. We went to this fancy restaurant and we talked for hours. We never made it to the movie. He makes me feel so pretty. I like what he says and what we do. I just want to be with him. He’s so gorgeous.”

“What about sex?”

“I invited him in for a nightcap and I leaned into him as we sat. He did grope my breasts for a while. I liked it, but we didn’t do anything else.”

“Did you tell him you still have male parts?”

“Not yet, but I will. Probably this weekend.”

When they had the date, Charles took the news of her sex change well, or so Ally thought.

Chapter 15

A few days later Ally received her copy of the final divorce. Although it was anticlimactic, Ally still shed a few tears. Dave then filed her petition to change her legal name and sex.

When she went to her social worker, Ally explained, “It is just that I feel like I failed.”

“Could you have done anything different?”

“I would have had to be a man, and I guess from what everyone has pointed out, I don’t know how to do that. I also didn’t see Rebecca’s depression. When I spoke to her she seemed much happier now. She told me she has a boyfriend named Ben, and said she is in love with him. Also I’ve filed for my new legal name and sex. It should only take a few weeks. When that’s finished, I’ll be buying my parent’s home.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“I’ll feel that it will be really my home, then.”

“I mean about the legal changes.”

“That is me. I am Allison, daughter of my parents and mother to my daughters. I didn’t think I was unhappy at the time, but I like being Allison more than I did being Albert. He doesn’t seem to be real to me anymore. I also feel more complete, but the only way I will finally feel complete is to have the surgery.”

“What about your boyfriend?”

“Charley seems to be a bit more distant lately. Despite what he claims, I believe that to him I’m not a real girl.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“It hurts. I wish it could have worked out with us. And I AM a real girl.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“Yes, at least for the time being.”

Chapter 16

On their next date Charlie seemed distant and was not talkative. They got back to the house and Ally tried to kiss him.

“What’s wrong, Charlie?”

“It’s nothing.”

“If it was nothing you wouldn’t be so silent tonight. Until tonight I wondered if I could ever keep you quiet enough.”

“I can’t talk about it.”

“Out with it,” she insisted as she poked him as she grabbed him

He shied away and explained, “I know you look act and think like a woman and I’m physically and emotionally attracted to you because of what you appear to be. But I can’t get over the fact that you were once a man.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m not gay. I’m sorry.”

“This is the end.”

It wasn’t a question.

“I’m afraid so.”

Chapter 18

One day while watching the kids at the park, Janice, one of the other mothers, told her, “I’ve been admiring your jewelry. As a divorcee, how can you afford so much, even if it is costume jewelry?”

“Almost everything is real,” Alison replied.

“Your ex-husband must be very wealthy, if you got so much in your settlement.”

”Actually, It has always been all mine. I am a jeweler and designer. I make them on consignment for a lot of the jewelry stores in the area and some of the manufacturers as well as doing piecework. They help pay the bills. Some of my designs are one of a kind, or I make a half a dozen times, and I do have patents or they are pending. Some of what you have seen me wear is going to be sold, and some is already in the stores. You see I want to wear most of my designs to see if they feel comfortable. Did you see those sapphire earrings I was wearing last week?”

Janice stopped to think, “Do you mean the turtles with the big blue eyes?”

Ally nodded, “Those were the ones. I removed the eyes and have already re-used the gold. They might have looked good, but they didn’t hang right. They were too heavy. I redid the design, with a sort of lacework to outline the segments in the shell, and a platinum backing, but otherwise hollow. It should only weigh about 1/3 as much, and be much more comfortable to wear.”

“Do you do private work?”

“Sometimes, but my work isn’t cheap. What do you have in mind?

“Have you looked in the window at Samuel’s downtown?”

Ally nodded, almost certain she knew which piece she was talking about. “Which one?”

“I’m thinking of the Diamond and Ruby Brooch in the platinum setting he puts under the spot in the center of the widow. Could you make me something like that, only smaller to meet my price? $10,0000 is a bit out of our price range. John likes it too, and says, ‘Someday,’ but you know how that is, with kids, someday will never come. Now if it were 1/3rd that price, we might just go for it.”

“I know the piece. I made it. And I could make you one just like it for your price. That piece was made to order for the wedding gift of a girl here in town. But when she eloped, her father decided she didn’t deserve it, and Samuel’s were afraid they were stuck with it. Then they decided it would be good advertising, so they bumped up the price four times, to keep it from being sold. They use it on the cover of their catalog, binders, and brochures. But I liked the design so much, I refused to sign an exclusive on it. I cannot make a perfect copy, but it if is more than 10% larger or smaller, or uses different stones, I can do it.”

“You can? How much?”

“Do you like sapphires?” Ally nodded. “I’ve been thinking I’d like the design with blue star sapphires. I can make it with genuine blue stars for about $1800-2200.00, or with manmade stars for $1500-2,000. Personally, I believe the manmade star sapphires look better, in my opinion, than the real ones. But don’t breathe that around, please.”

“Manmade? Fakes?”

“Usually, manmade stones really look fake, and they aren’t made from the same material, like you find at the Jewelry TV Network. But these are made from exactly the same molecules, and because they were grown under controlled conditions, they do not have any of the impurities, so they are more perfect than any real stone, and, I think, more beautiful.”

“I’d have to see them to understand what you’re saying.”

“I can arrange that. I can make a steel and glass version for you to look at as I do not keep stones on hand as a general rule. I usually install the stones at the last minute, usually in my customer’s store, where the stones are normally delivered.”

Ally made a sale, or at least a preliminary sale, right there.

Chapter 19

A few days later, when Alison went food shopping for her family, including for her parents. Behind her on the line was a handsome man who started a conversation with her.

After she paid he asked her, “Could you wait a minute? I’d like to see you again.”

She did and he helped her put her groceries into her car.

“My name’s Steve, by the way,” he said as he smiled.

“Alison,” she replied with a smile of her own.

“Could I take you out this Wednesday?”

“Strange day of the week,” she replied. “Here’s my phone number and address.”

“Pick you up about six?”

“Sounds good.”

“I’ll call to confirm.”

Ally drove home happily.

The day of the date he took her to dinner and a movie. After the date she invited him back to her house. They kissed as they started to explore each other’s body. As Ally kissed his fingers, she noticed a band of white skin around his ring finger and stopped what she was doing.

“Don’t,” she told him as he tried to take off her blouse.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“You’re married.”

“We just broke up,” he explained.

“That’s two lies.”

“Two?”

“By taking me out you implied you were not married, and you just told me that you aren’t living with her. The finger where your wedding band should be tells me different.”

“She doesn’t understand me.”

“That might be the first thing you told me that is true. If it is then make her understand you. While you’re at it try to understand and appreciate her. Good by.”

“Good by?”

“If I had known you were married we wouldn’t have gone this far. Don’t bother contacting me again. I’ll tell your wife if you do. I refuse to be the other woman.”

As Steve was leaving she told him, “Also I’m a pre-op male to female transsexual.”

“I almost fucked a man?” he asked as he turned back with his fist ready to strike.

“Go ahead,” Alison chided. “Hit me and I’ll prefer charges. What you threatened helps prove how irresponsible you really are.”

Hearing the commotion, Alison’s parents came into the main part of the house from their apartment.

“You’re not going to hurt my daughter!” Bob shouted. “She told you to leave, so go!”

“If you don’t,” Alice added as she opened her cell phone. “I’ll call the police.”

Realizing his predicament, Steve slammed the door as he left. Alison was crying.

Chapter 20

It was a hot day early in May so Alison suggested to the girls that they play in the sprinkler she was using to water the lawn. After Ally dressed them in bathing suits the girls ran outside and Ally walked over to the faucet and turned on the sprinkler then sat on the stoop watching her daughters. Esther was the first to get to the sprinkler’s spray and she squealed because of the coolness of the water. She then jumped through the water to the other side. Grace climbed with her little feet over it. Ally put her head in her hand and her elbow on her knee as she watched. She realized she was smiling as she watched.

Ally was daydreaming a bit because she didn’t notice the kids pick up the sprinkler until they hit her with the water. She pretended to be angry and chased her little monsters making them drop the sprinkler. After chasing them for a minute, Ally fixed the sprinkler so it would again water the lawn properly, before joining her daughters running through the spray.

About ten minutes later a car drove up and parked in front of her next-door neighbor’s home. Mark, Ally’s childhood best friend, got out of his car. Like Ally’s folks, his parents had never moved. Ally still had fond memories of playing football and baseball with Mark, who was a year older than Ally and was about to receive his master’s degree in engineering in a few days. She also remembered time they went to the movies and concerts together. She never told him that she felt like she was his girlfriend on those occasions.

Ally had heard from Mark’s parents that he had landed a well paying job in the area and would be staying with them until he had the money for his own home. She smiled at Mark as he walked into his home. Mark looked her way and smile back, as he went inside. About five minutes later Mark came out wearing a bathing suit and sat down next to Ally, who had already dried herself off from being in the water.

“You know,” Mark told Ally. “If my mother hadn’t told me that you were once Al, I would have thought you were Maggie.”

“You did want to get her in bed,” Ally replied.

“I did want to date her,” he said truthfully. “But something bothered me about that. I guess I sort of knew that you were really a girl inside, and I preferred you. Do you know you are the only one I ever proposed to?”

“I didn’t think it was a real proposal even if I liked what you said,” Ally responded as she put her hand in Mark’s.

“I did date a few other girls in college, but I always compared them to you, Ally.”

“You thought of me as a girl back then?”

“I’ve thought of you as a girl ever since I discovered sex. To me you were the prettiest one around and a girl I always wanted to be with. I could always be myself with you.”

“I’ve always felt the same. For most of our marriage it was the same with Rebecca.”

“If you hadn’t found her I would have recommended your sex change by now.”

“I’m going to have my operation soon.”

A few seconds later, his arm was around her shoulders. They both realized their soul mates had been right in front of them all the time. They stayed that way for a few minutes until they were sprayed by Ally’s watchful munchkins. Ally instinctively gave Mark a hug that asked for protection as Mark’s hug did that.

“He be daddy?” asked Gracie as she climbed onto her mother’s lap.

“Don’t know,” replied Alison as she smiled up at Mark. “I think he will be.”

“Please be our daddy,” Esther said to Mark as she held her hand up to be picked up by Mark. “Mommy needs a boy to be our daddy.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, ah…” Mark said. “What’s you name?”

“ESTHER!” she replied. “And I’m four!”

“And you?” he asked Grace.

“Gracie,” she said shyly.

“And how old are you?”

Grace held up three fingers. Seeing her mistake, with her other hand she put the third finger down to show her real age.

“Well girls, I’ve known your mom since we were your age,” he said to the two of them as he smiled. “It should work out that I will be your daddy. We already are good friends.”

“Dat mean you her boyfriend?” asked Esther.

“I don’t know. I hope so.”

“You make smoochee?”

Mark looked at Alison and asked, “You want to make smoochee?”

Alison looked at Mark, closed her eyes and puckered her lips. He gave her a kiss that was long and sensual, making him bigger between his legs and her nipples pointy and hard.

When it was over, Mark told Esther, “I’m her boyfriend.”

The two wet girls cheered before climbing up on Mark and gave him a hug, which quickly deflated his urgency. A few seconds later, the giggling girls dragged the two adults into the spraying sprinkler. Mark straddled the sprinkler and held a happily screaming Esther in the spray. After putting her down he did the same with Gracie as Ally assisted. He pulled Ally towards him and kissed her again. She kissed him back with all her might as her daughters teased them. She noticed that after the eternity of that kiss she was happily leaning into him. When she looked up into his eyes she saw his smile.

“Wana play with the sprinkler!” Esther shouted as she tugged Ally and Mark’s bathing suits.

“Me too!” added Gracie as she helped pull her mother and friend. “Me too!”

Hand in hand Ally and Mark got out of the sprinkler and again sat down on the front steps of her home. She instinctively leaned into him as he put his arm around her.

After a while Mark asked her, “You doing anything tonight?”

“You mean other than feeding them, giving them a bath, reading to them and putting them to bed? No.”

“Could you get a baby sitter?” he asked. “I’d like to take you out.”

“I’ll ask my parents if they could take them,” Ally replied. “Just in case, could your parents take them?”

“I’ll ask them. I feel it is important for me to be with you tonight, even more than when we were kids. You were often in my thoughts. I missed you, Ally.”

After Alison fed her children and parents Mark took her to a nice restaurant that had a band. They were able to dance during and after the meal.

“You understand that I haven’t had the operation yet, Mark?” she asked.

“At this time I’m taking things one day at a time,” he replied. “Although I hope that there will be thousands of days.”

“So do I.”

They continued dancing.

“I had a great time tonight,” Alison said at her front door.

“So did I.”

As they kissed neither Mark nor Ally wanted the night to end.

“It doesn’t have to end now,” she said as they still hugged each other. “You can come in.”

“I have to get to work tomorrow before some afternoon classes.”

“I need you here with me,” she explained as she opened the door and gently pulled him inside. “If you stay the night you only need to go next door in the morning to change and get your books.”

“That’s true.”

She took him to her bed where they made love. After she cleaned herself up she set the alarm for him to get up in the morning then cuddled into him. He was already asleep but there was a contented smile on both of their faces that said that they belong together this way.

Chapter 21

The next night Mark came over after work. Ally added a plate on the kitchen table where they normally ate. Mark helped Ally with the dishes before reading a story, first to a sleepy Grace and then Esther. Although Esther wanted to stay up and fought to keep awake she had finally succumbed to the sandman.

When the children were asleep Alison popped a DVD into the player and they watched a movie. As they watched Alison cuddled into Mark with her legs on the couch. Having had a long day she fell asleep during the movie. After the movie was over Mark kissed her awake. Ally apologized before she realized she trusted him completely. Again, they had sex. They both considered it a great, added bonus to their relationship. The whole evening was one of the nicest times they had together.

From that night forward Mark constantly had his dinners with Alison and the girls. Sometime he took all three out. Sometimes he was just with Alison. Often her parents or his joined them, usually both. Alison’s sisters and Mark’s brother and sister were also occasionally there. Each day Mark and Alison fell in love more. Mark soon realized he also loved Esther and Grace. As far as he was concerned they were his family. They were treating him like the husband and father he was acting as and he knew he felt the same way.

Chapter 22

Finally the date for Alison’s surgery arrived. Mark took some time off and took her to the hospital. He waited until he was told that she was recovering from the surgery before he left the hospital. He came back with the girls after she recovered enough that afternoon. In addition to the girls and flowers Mark had another present for his love, an engagement ring. Ally began to cry.

“Please say, ‘yes,’” he pleaded.

“What about it, girls?” Alison asked them. “Do you want him for your daddy?”

“Yeah, mommy!” Grace exclaimed.

“I was hoping he would be,” Esther added.

“Mark, if Rebecca agrees will you adopt my girls?”

“Only if she still has visitation rights.”

“Then it’s unanimous,” Ally told Mark. “I will be your wife because I love you with all my heart.”

Chapter 23

A few minutes later her surgeon came into the room.

“We just got engaged,” Ally told the doctor.

“Congratulations,” he said. There were complications with your surgery because we found something unusual.”

“Complications?” Ally asked.

“Fortunately for you they are good complications.”

“What do you mean?” Mark asked.

“Alison, did you have pains in your lower abdomen before?”

“About a week ago and about a moth previous, and I think maybe the month before that. Why?”

“You had a uterus and fallopian tubes before we operated, and possibly you have ovaries, also. We won’t know for sure until we do a MRI. Because of that the operation was different. We used your penile skin to cover your uterine wall.”

“What does that mean?”

“You were a true Hermaphrodite. What you experienced a week ago was your period. There’s a chance that you can get pregnant. We’re not sure about that.”

“When will we know?” Mark asked.

“If the exam is positive you’ll know when and if she gets pregnant the first time, not before.”

“I’d like to try,” Alison smiled at Mark.

“I don’t suggest that until you are completely healed,” the doctor explained. “The results of my surgery is right now worse than if you had a baby.”

“I guess I’ll be taking cold showers for a while,” Mark noted.

“You can test the equipment in a few weeks,” the doctor smiled.

Chapter 24

A few weeks later Rebecca agreed to the terms of the adoption that included her rights to have them overnight and to have a say in their upbringing. Even the children were happy with the arrangements.

Rebecca did take the children on a more consistent basis, including some overnight and full weekend visitations. Ben, her new husband, sometimes went with her and occasionally picked them up or dropped them off. He seemed like a nice guy and Mark became friendly with him.

Although she was glad for the occasional relief, Alison realized how much she missed her girls and always welcomed them back with open arms and tears.

It was during that time that Alison started to get her wish for reconciliation with Rebecca, although it was different than she had originally hoped for. They were becoming friends. Occasionally the four of them would do things together such as seeing a movie. Sometimes they also took Esther and Grace.

Chapter 25

Mark and Ally were fortunate to find out that the traditional egalitarian synagogue that they both had their bar mitzvahs had a wedding opening in late August. They made the arrangements and sent out the invitations. They also decided to become members.

“Would you like to use my wedding dress?” Alice asked when she found out they had a committed location and date.

“Maggie and Kay wore it at their weddings. I’d love to continue the tradition. May I try it on?”

Alice got the dress out of the cedar closet. It only has a slight musty smell.

“This was my mom’s wedding dress,” Alice explained as she helped Alison into the dress. “It is that old. It was also prettier than anything that was in style when you father and I got married and I just loved the idea that I was getting married in it, too.”

“How does it feel?” Alice asked after she closed the zipper. “It looks like we won’t have to do a thing.”

“Feels great. It’s not tight anywhere and not too loose. It is almost a perfect fit.” She then went to the full length mirror, “I’m actually pretty in this dress.”

“All of us who wore it were beautiful when we were married,” Alice claimed as she shed few tears. “And you won’t be an exception.”

“I’ll be the fifth one to wear it.”

“Sixth,” Alice explained as she helped her daughter out of the dress. “My sister, Miriam, wore it at her wedding, too.”

“Makes me prouder to be part of the tradition. I hope Esther and Grace will wear it some day. Mom, let’s check it for loose seams.”

When they were finished checking the dress they put it back into the plastic bag. Alice took it downstairs to take it to the dry cleaner.

“That takes care of something old and something borrowed,” Ally mused in front of her mother. “My gender is new. Maybe we’ll make the bridesmaids dresses blue.”

Chapter 26

Mark and Alison wanted to make sure there was religious significance to their wedding so the day before their wedding they made sure they went to synagogue and were granted ailot to read from the Torah and Haphtarah. The also sponsored a sit down kiddish after the services.

They had previously rejoined the synagogue and had given the rabbi the papers they needed for them to get married. That included copies of Albert’s divorce and evidence of his religious divorce and a note from the surgeon that Alison was now female.

The day of Mark and Alison’s wedding was perfect. The sun was shining and the temperature was ideal. Alice fed the children while Alison took a bath trying to relieve her nervousness. She didn’t sleep well because Mark had been told to sleep in his bed at his parents’ home. Alice helped Alison get the children in their powder blue dresses then helped her into her wedding gown before getting into her dress. Seeing her daughter was nervous, Alice hugged her daughter before applying makeup on both of them. Alison remembered that she could not wear jewelry at the wedding so she took off her engagement ring and handed that to her mother along with her earrings and necklace she would wear at the reception.

When Alison, her daughters and her parents arrived Maggie, her matron-of-honor, and Kay who was also in the wedding party greeted them. The numerous pictures taken relieved both Mark and Alison’s jitters.

After that the rabbi took them into a private room where he and the cantor signed both the religious and state marriage certificates. Mark and Ally didn’t know it, but they were officially married at that point.

Finally the wedding began. Grace held the basket and Esther tossed the little flowers on the carpet while they walked down the aisle and there were occasional comments of how cute they were. When they finished they sat between Alison’s parents. Then the main wedding party entered. First Maggie and her husband entered followed by Steve, Marks’ brother and best man along with his wife. Kay, and her husband and Judy, Mark’s sister, and her husband went next. Mark’s parent took him down the aisle to the wedding canopy.

It was now Alison’s turn. Bob and Alice took her down the aisle to the tune of “Dodee Lee.” They stopped just before the wedding canopy and Mark took her the rest of the way. She was beaming.

The rabbi and cantor sang the blessings to the couple. Mark then repeated the words the rabbi told him he needed to say before placing the wedding ring on Alison’s finger. Alison repeated what the rabbi told her she needed to say. Mark broke the glass before they walked hand in hand back to the bridal suite to fulfill the fourth marriage requirement. After their sex they had fun at their reception despite having to meet and greet everyone.

They didn’t know it at the time, but Mark made Alison pregnant that time.

Chapter 27

Mark and Alison invited a large group for Thanksgiving. Mark’s family included his parents, brother, sister, their spouses and their children. Alison’s includes both of Ally’s sisters and their spouses and children. Because they didn’t want a conflict over Esther and Grace they also invited Ben and Rebecca, her parents, her two brothers, their spouses and their children.

The women decided to divide the cooking tasks between them but did most of the cooking in the three kitchens in the two houses. Other than having the men help with getting the bread and cakes, they decided to let the men enjoy watching the football games on TV. That way the women would have less people in the way.

Noticing Rebecca’s condition, Esther and Grace went up to her and asked, “Why you fat?”

“I’m not fat. I’m pregnant.”

“Pregnant?” asked Grace.

“She’s going to have a baby, “ Alison explained. “When is it due?”

“Mid March,” Rebecca replied. “I’ll need some of the baby stuff you still have from Grace.”

“I’ll have to take some of that back soon after that because I am also,” Alison replied.

All the women hugged congratulations to both future mothers.

“How? You’re the father of our children,” asked Rebecca. “I thought that was impossible.”

“When I had my surgery the doctors discovered that I had fully functioning ovaries and uterus. They merely cut off my balls, used my penile extension to create my vaginal lips, connected the opening to my uterus and redirected the flow of my urine. I didn’t know it at the time, but when I was Albert I was intersexed, fully capable of being either a father or a mother.”

“Ooohhh!” Marcy said. “The baby kicked.”

“What happened?” asked Grace.

“Right now the baby is growing inside of me. It can move. When it hits my uterine wall I can feel it. We call it kicking because sometimes it is the baby’s foot.”

“Does it hurt?” asked Grace.

“Usually not. The baby’s too small. The only time it is a pain is when it kicks up into my diaphragm when I’m breathing. Also I may wet my panties if it kicks at my bladder. Do you want to feel the baby kick?”

“Yeah.”

Rebecca had a glow as she let Grace and the other children feel the baby kicking.

Later, when Mark led the prayer before the feast he also announced Alison’s pregnancy while holding her hand. She was beaming.

I wish to thank the encouragement and assistance of Angela Rasch, Maggie O Malley, aka Maggythekitten and Holly Logan.

Aliah means to go up. In this case to be called up to read from the Torah.

The words of “Dodee Lee” come from “Song of Songs,” part of what most of you call the “Old Testament.” It is one of the oldest known soft core pornography and a beautiful love story.

The four requirements for a marriage are the Ketuba (religious wedding contract), two reliable witnesses, something of value (wedding ring) and consensual sex. Any one of the four makes them married.

The breaking of the glass is in memory of the Temple.

Genie Boomerang

by shalimar

 

The Late Summer Festival was an annual event for our town with the proceeds going towards the many charities that needed our support. My employer, Compton Industries, was one of the major sponsors. I worked in the IT department. Because I was unfettered by a girlfriend I worked a substantial amount of overtime.

Mr. Compton made sure that everyone who worked for the company, even us nerdy IT workers, would be able to attend this carnival, and sort of let us know that attendance was expected.

So, alone, I walked the length and breadth of the grounds before I saw Carol, who lived across the street, working a “Fortune Telling” booth. A mother of three, she looked and seemed more as if she was twenty, not the thirty she admitted.

“How about I do your fortune, Bob?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I replied.

“It has been slow lately, and the money will go to a good cause.”

“Well…”

“It’s just for fun,” she insisted.

“How much?”

“Five dollars,” she replied.

“OK.”

She looked into her crystal ball for what seemed liked five minutes, mumbling some incantations as she moved her hands in circles around the ball, before telling me, “You are a lonely man. Expect a few changes on All Hallows Day. However, I must warn you, you won’t like the changes in the beginning.”

After she told my fortune she seemed to awaken from a trance. What she said scared me so I tried to get the disturbing things she said out of my mind by going to one of the food booths where I had a hoagie and a Coke before walking the five blocks back home to watch TV for the rest of the evening. At least Halloween was ten weeks away, I thought, and then finally laughed at what she’d said.

In the morning I got dressed and, as was my habit, walked the tree-lined blocks to Compton, less than a mile away. My trip took me past the elementary school Carol’s oldest child attended, and as I passed, I waved to Carol and the other ladies who had taken their children to school.

Speeding passed me as I walked into the parking lot was Matt Shilling in his 280Z. Management liked this hotshot salesman for our company because he was all sleaze and show. He almost always had the highest monthly sales amounts for the entire company. Even the bachelor pad he maintained had been designed solely to impress the girls. Fortunately for me, I wasn’t a girl so couldn’t fall under his unsavory spell.

He was friendly enough and I did like him enough that sometimes we had lunch together. It was rare, though as our schedules usually conflicted. However I usually enjoyed those rare times.

“Hi, Bob,” he greeted me as he got out of his sports car.

“Hey, Matt. Have a good weekend?”

“Always do. Met this girl in Tarrytown and took her to my place. She was a tiger in bed. Maybe I’ll keep her around for a few weeks.”

I pitied Matt for his lack of understanding women and even more, I pitied the poor girl who was his latest victim.

I should’ve also pitied myself, as I didn’t even have a girlfriend and had minimal prospects.

The days passed and finally it was Halloween. Working late I had missed the sweet little trick or treaters. Fortunately, I had also missed the extortionist teenagers and was angered, but not surprised, to see the toilet paper hanging from the trees in my yard. In addition to the usual junk mail in my mailbox was a note, “Don’t squeeze the Charmin.”

That was almost certainly because my full name is Robert George Whipple and the kids in the neighborhood had been told by their parents about the old time television ad. I certainly would like to forget it. The paper ruined the view of the changing leaves in my yard. If it weren’t for those older kids, Halloween would be an enjoyable experience.

I immediately called work and left a voicemail that I would have to spend the next day cleaning my yard, and wouldn’t be in. The next morning I started cleaning the yard of the dozens of rolls of toilet paper by bringing out a ladder and some garbage bags. I used the ladder to climb the first tree as high as I could. It was tedious work, but I finished by three in the afternoon. I brought the garbage bags to the curb and prepared to put the ladder away.

As I took down the ladder for the last time, I tripped over a yellowish metal object barely sticking out of the ground. I put the ladder away and brought out some tools to helped me extract the object out of the dirt.

It was an “Arabian lamp,’ just like you see in the story of Aladdin. It didn’t look like anything special, but I thought it might make an interesting novelty, so I took it into to the house and began to clean it. I had just turned it over when I saw the words, “Made in Djibouti” That’s when things got weird. The cap fell off and I felt I was being sucked into something, and when the sucking finished I felt nothing.

No time.

No space.

No feelings.

Just nothing.

I knew that I still existed, even though I wasn’t corporal. The four dimensions experienced by humans: length, width, thickness and time had no meaning in my new existence. I suspected I was in that lamp I had found, but knowing that was not important. Nothing seemed important. Then just as quickly I felt myself being pulled out of where I had been.

I was back in my body, as it became corporal again in my living room. In front of me Matt was holding the lamp and next to him was a policeman.

“What do you wish, Master?” I asked.

“Master?” The policeman said with astonishment. “What’s going on here?”

“Matthew Shilling is my new Master.” I said, my words surprising me as much as they did Matt and the policeman.

The policeman said, “I didn’t see you come in.”

“Bob!” Matt exclaimed. “Thank G_d you are alive. I went to your department to have lunch with you and was told you had been missing for over two weeks. Finally I convinced Mr. Compton to let me get off early and come here. I called the cop before entering. Did you just come out of the lamp?”

“What do you mean, Master?”

“I wish I knew what is going on,” Matt continued.

“Granted. I am now the genie of the lamp, Master, and am here to grant you your wishes.”

Why am I constantly calling Matt Master?

“Did I just waste a wish? How many wishes do I get?”

“As many as you would like, Master.”

“I wish the cop wasn’t here.”

“Done.”

Just as quickly as I said it, the policeman was continuing the patrol that he had been on before Matt called the police.

The patrolman was about to return to my home when Matt made his second wish, “I wish I hadn’t called the police, because I have a key to your house.”

“Done,” I said, as all memory and police records of Matt’s call had been wiped clean, and Matt’s key chain sported a new addition.

“You know, Bob, you have a nice house.”

“Thank you, Master.”

“This is a Victorian?”

“Yes, Master.”

“It is spacious, yet the feeling I get is that it is a cozy home. I’m surprised you don’t have a girlfriend. Women like cozy. I envy you. I wish this house was mine.”

“Done.”

“I didn’t mean it as a wish, Bob.”

“It was stated as such, Master. You can only wish for your wish to be undone or move out. I must warn you, your apartment as you knew it no longer exists.”

“Oh. I’d better be careful what I say, and how I say it.” Bob’s face brightened suddenly as if he’d won the lottery. “I can pretty much have whatever I want?”

“With a few restrictions,” I said, somewhat worried about what it was he wanted to do.

“Next, I wish you were the owner of this house.”

“Not necessary, Master. A genie has no need for a house.”

“Girls, I like girls, fine looking girls. Bob, I don’t understand you. You owned this chick magnet, yet you never took advantage of it to attract a woman. Is that because you really are a woman? Let’s find out. I wish for you to look more like a woman. I might as well make you pretty, so look into my mind and become the girl of my dreams.”

“Done, but only the physical part, Master.”

Quicker than I said it I had big breasts, a narrow waist, long blond hair and all the applicable female body parts. I looked like a living Jessica Rabbit.

“Only the physical part?”

“You asked me to become the girl of your dreams. According to the jinn code, I need to change my body to your wish, but I don’t have to change my personality, Master. My sexual needs are MY sexual needs. I may change them to what you need, but only if I wish.”

“You mean I can’t change you into a horny bitch?”

“I don’t bark, Master.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean anything negative.”

“It is still derogatory, Master. Women don’t like to be referred in that way, not even me.”

Did I just say that?

“I’ll remember that for the future, but I’m very horny right now. Is there anyway you can accommodate me?”

I almost gagged.

“No. You can beat yourself, Master.”

“Why?”

“I will not answer unless you make it a wish, Master.”

“I wish to know why?”

“What I will say will be the truth, but it may be hurtful to you, Master.”

“I wish to know why you won’t have sex with me. Tell me the truth.”

“Before this all happened, Master, I liked you, but I thought you were slime, especially with women. Now you have come to my home and have taken it from me without any regard for my feelings. You then changed my sex without asking me if I wanted that. As I have the right to decide if I will join you in sex, I say, ‘no.’”

“What right do you have to refuse?”

“It is part of the agreement, Master.”

“Agreement?”

“Between our union and the League of Masters, Master.”

“Union? Why would I want to know about a contract involving the League of Masters? I’m not a member.”

“On the contrary, Master, as soon as you made your first wish you became a full member, with all the privileges of membership as well as all the obligations. In this case, the contract with our union, local 1031, WWBEFIGOD.”

“WWBEFIGOD?”

“Witches, wizards, brownies, elves, fairies, imps, genies, ogres and dragons, Master.”

“If I can’t change you, then I wish to change my mind so that I could be attractive to you.”

“I cannot. It is part of the contract.”

“Why?”

“I can change how you appear physically, but if I change your mind you are not you, and therefore not my master.”

“There has to be a way. I wish to have a copy of this contract.

“Done.”

On the living room floor of what was now his house were several piles of paper as much as six feet high.

“I can’t read all that!” he exclaimed. “I wish to know and understand this contract.”

“Done.”

“This contract just gave me a headache. I wish to lie down in my bed.”

“Done.”

He disappeared into my former bedroom and was lying down on my former bed.

“I wish for you to relax,” I heard him shout from my former bedroom. “If that means going back into your lamp, then do it.”

I reentered my lamp.

When I was pulled out of my lamp again, I was once more standing in front of Matt. I noticed the sun was shining through the window of the living room, so I knew it was at least the next morning.

“What do you wish, Master?”

“Bob,” he said then stopped. “I wish you had a name.”

“I have a name, Master. It is Robert, or the nicknames Robby or Bob, if you prefer. Some people even call me Bobby.”

“It doesn’t fit the way you look. I wish for you to have a female name.”

“Would Regina do?” I asked.

“Regina would be excellent. I wish your name to be Regina.”

I knew that from that time forward I would only respond to Regina until someone changed my name.

“Regina, I wish to find the section involving appeal. I especially wish to find the part involving what would happen if I wish to change my mind.”

I pulled out some papers from one of the piles and said, “Here it is, Master.”

“Ah that’s what I’m looking for,” he said. “Section 2763 Paragraph 1: ‘A master can appeal to the Witch’s Court if he or she wishes to change their personality.’ So I can change my personality.”

“Paragraph 2: The court does not need to grant the petition, and will only do so under extreme special circumstances.’”

“Oh, oh! Paragraph 3: ‘The court may change the master in ways other than the wishes of the master.’ What does that mean?”

“I cannot answer, Master. That is part of the rules, you need to make it a wish.”

“I wish to know what might happen if I do appeal to this court.”

“Master, it means that if you petition the court for such a change you may or may not get the change. You would need to have a special reason that is especially pertinent to your situation. The court may grant me the ability to change you the way you want or it may require me to change you in a way you don’t want, and haven’t even thought of, such as, I might have to turn you into a toad.”

“So I would need to be careful to as to how I petition this court.”

“Yes, but you cannot lie, either. If you do, you will be lucky to be a toad.”

“I wish to know if there is more I should be aware of.”

“Be careful what you wish for, because you may get it and not like it, or not be able to handle the changes.”

“Like what?”

“If I understand you correctly, Master, you would wish to be honest, loving and truly friendly, the exact opposite of the sleaze and the superficial friendliness you are now. You may not be able to be a salesman anymore, or you may not like me the way I am either.”

“You are right. I wish to be truly loving, friendly, honest and generous.”

“That’s a good start, Master,” I agreed. “Why?”

“How about, ‘I didn’t like what you said about me the other day, because although it is me, it is not what I want me to be.’ I needed to have money to get things, so I sold. Sometimes I sold in ways that weren’t always honest. Eventually, the more I got, the more aggressive I became, but because of the way I got it, the more I got, the less I enjoyed what I had, and the less I liked me.”

“It sounds good so far, Master.”

“What do you suggest?”

“I cannot make a suggestion, Master. It is part of the rules.”

“I wish for you to suggest something, Regina.”

“I suggest you think about this, Master. Write down everything you can think of. Then put at least the most important parts into a proposal. After that wish me to suggest any changes that will help.”

“Then relax. I wish that you could stay out here if you wish. I wish that you could return to the lamp if you wish. I wish that you could go back and forth if you wish.”

I decided to go back and forth so that I could check on and help his progress as he worked on the proposal. Several times he wished for my suggestions, and most of them he accepted. I was beginning to admire him for what he wanted.

It was about that time he wished for me to call him Matt, instead of Master, and not always to use any title. I appreciated that as he was beginning to treat me like a true person and an equal. He also wished that we could have normal conversations if we so desired. I was impressed.

I began to enjoy our conversations and stayed out longer. My new feminine feelings were starting to kick in, and I began to see him as someone with real possibilities, although his slime ball effect on me continued. Despite that, I was actually starting to be attracted to him.

There were times he was honest with me and I saw the true Matthew, the one that he wanted to be, and tried to be most of the time, but there were other times that he was insincere. I confronted him at those times.

“That is why I’m making the petition,” he once told me. “If I could do this on my own, I would. You’re helping me just by being around, but I think that I need more help and quickly. I think that if I were to do this on my own it would take too much time.”

Once, he took me out to dinner. Although I didn’t need to eat anymore I appreciated the gesture. We had a good time and, surprisingly, he didn’t ask for sex when we arrived home. That pleased me greatly.

He said, “I will wait until you are ready. You are one woman that I respect.”

If he respected me, he might actually be getting better.

It was soon after he told me he respected me that he made one of his last wishes, “I wish to be financially independent, but not super rich, so I can stop selling. When I sell I get trapped doing or saying things I really don’t like or believe. It is taking me away from my goal.”

“Done.”

“How are things different?”

“You are on the board of directors of Compton Industries. To accommodate your financial needs it is now a much larger company, with the headquarters and one of the research facilities here in town. The company has more of the land in town and surrounding area. Your main focus at Compton is research and development. You also have some investments that are paying you enough money to live on. Financially, you are comfortable, but not rich.”

“Good enough for now. I didn’t want too much money and I don’t see a need for any more other than for inflation or charity. I like the idea, as I am more of a hands on kind of person. I hope my education qualifies.”

“You could make it a wish.”

“I wish to have a PHD in Physical Engineering.”

“Done.”

“Could I have the honor of your company at the Compton’s tonight? I am having dinner with them.”

“I’d love to.”

It was a nice evening and Marjorie Compton was an excellent hostess. I found out that she was more than “just” a trophy wife and proved it by working for her husband and some of the charities in the area. She was also a strong independent woman that made things happen in the community. She invited me to join her with her work, and I told her I would consider it. The only problem I had with her suggestion was that as a genie my time was not my own.

The next day Matt asked me to take a walk with him.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Just for a walk. It is something I used to do until just after I became a salesman.”

“OK.”

As he put on his jacket, I changed what I was wearing to something appropriate for outside. The weather wouldn’t have affected me, but I knew I needed to look the part. Our first walk was just around a few blocks. We discovered that we knew some of our neighbors.

One of the couples that we talked to was Carol and her husband, John.

“Welcome to the neighborhood,” John said. “I’m John and this is Carol.

“Matt, and this is Regina.”

“I see you bought the old Whipple place.”

“Yep.”

“Do you work for Compton?”

“I work with the engineers,” Matt replied who didn’t need to puff himself up by saying that he was on the board of directors.

“Have any kids? We have three.”

“We’re not married.”

“I’m sorry. I thought you were a couple.”

“Maybe,” I replied, surprising me.

I thought I saw a smile on Carol’s face.

With the exception of inclement weather, we took a walk every day. Sometimes we walked the neighborhood, enabling us to get to know the neighbors. Sometimes we walked to the center of town where we did some shopping or had dinner. A few times we walked to the park nearby and watched the children play.
.
The first time we did that he told me, “I don’t want it to be a wish, at least right now, but I see the joy in these children and I want that in my house.”

“I would love that,” I replied, my maternal instinct asserting itself.

That was when I realized I wanted to have his children and be their mother.

We kept on watching the children from a safe distance. Later, I went back into my lamp and cried, at least as much as any jinn could cry in that dimension. It was then that I knew I was beginning to love him.

Finally, the proposal was done, so he asked me to type the petition on my former computer, and then submit it to the court.

“I have bad news, Master,” I said when I returned from filing the petition. “Hajj the Great will be the judge at the trial. He’s the worst if he doesn’t like your petition. It is not too late to back out.”

“I need this, Regina. I need to be a better person. I’ll take the chance.”

I shed a tear. I was afraid that he would go up against the meanest judge in the universe and fail miserably. Realizing Matt was determined I decided to be with him, not just because I was his genie, but because of his strength of action. I couldn’t let him down. I realized then that I really loved him.

A few days later, I took him to the court, which was in another dimension. Hajj sat ten feet above the floor.

“Why should the court grant your petition?” Hajj boomed.

“I didn’t put this into the petition, because I didn’t want to affect her decision. I love Regina. I started doing this for me, so that I could possibly win her heart, but now I’m also doing this for her, so I can be the man she needs.”

I cried, put my hand in his, and crossed my legs towards Matt. That was the moment when I realized that I loved him as much as he loved me.

“Are you crying, Regina?” asked the great jinn.

“Yes, your honor.”

“Why?”

“I love Matt, your honor and I now know he loves me.”

“In view of the sincerity of the petition and the evidence, including Regina’s tears, I grant the petition.”

Suddenly, we were back at Matt’s home in his living room. He swept me off my feet as we kissed. I magically changed my clothing into a sexy nightgown just before he took me into his bedroom. We made love, and I enjoyed my first female orgasm that afternoon.

Afterwards, as I lay in his arms, he asked me, “Could you get pregnant because of what we did?”

“No,” I sighed. “You are human and I am jinn.”

“Is there anyway that could be changed? I eventually want us to have kids.”

“Sort of,” I explained. “I would not be a genie anymore. I would be human, or if I retain my powers, I would be a witch.”

“What are the differences?”

“As a witch I don’t have to grant your wishes. I don’t even need a wish to do anything. In other words, I would have more freedom. You would lose the power of the wish over me. Also my beauty would fade over time so you wouldn’t have a young bride for your entire life, though in fact, I would age slightly more slowly than a normal human.”

“You will always be beautiful, my dear. Could you make me a witch?”

“I didn’t know you wanted to be a girl.”

“Is there a male version of a witch?”

“A wizard. That I could do. You’d also have the powers I have.”

“This a complicated wish. Please don’t grant it until I’m finished. I wish for you to change yourself to a witch and me to a wizard. The next part of the wish is that we are married and own this house as husband and wife with no mortgage. I wish for everyone to have no memories of us except for you as Regina and me as your husband. Finished.

“Done, but there are complications.”

“Complications?”

“You don’t have that sports car now, but transportation more appropriate to our needs. Yours is a town car and mine is a mini-van that is usually called a taxi.”

“Why?”

“Three reasons.”

“Waaaa!” we heard from one of the other bedrooms.

“That’s one of them,” I explained, as I put on my nightgown and robe to go into the other room to see to our daughter. “The other two are older.”

As I started to leave the room, I stopped and looked at Matt, “Better make that four reasons. We just had sex, and as I’m mid-month I’m quite sure we succeeded.”

I went to our youngest daughter picked her up, cuddled her, and then changed her. Barbara had given Matthew and me enough time to enjoy ourselves before she woke up. I still had to hurry because I had to pick our six-year-old, Robert, at elementary school and four-year-old Ruth at nursery school. I gave Barbara to Matt to play with while I quickly got dressed.

“Would you like to help me pick up Bobby at school?” I asked her after I finished.

“Yeah,” she agreed.

“Honey,” I continued. “I’m running late. Could you pick up Ruthie at the nursery school?”

“Sure,” Matt replied. “I’ll be dressed in a few minutes. Do I have a child seat?”

“What will you do if you don’t?”

“Got it!”

Eventually, he will. I did.

I hurried with the baby carriage to the elementary school two blocks away. Carol was already waiting for her boy, Steven. Bobby and Stevie were already best friends.

“I see you have a nice glow,” Carol said. “Making love in the afternoon?”

“Yes,” I smiled.

“Did you come?”

“I’m very satisfied.”

We giggled.

“So the changes are good?”

“Extremely.”

“Are you ready for the coven tonight?”

“Yes. You did this to us.”

“We in the coven wanted you both to be happy.”

Bobby came up to me, gave me a hug and showed me a picture he’d painted, knowing he’d just given me a Rembrandt to hang on my refrigerator. How could I not be happy?

This story is based on Bill Hart’s “The Morning After.” There is a quote from the disco song, “Gloria.”

I wish to thank Angela Rash and Holly Logan for their editorial assistance

Halloween

by shalimar

“What are you going to wear to the Halloween party, Stephie?” Shelly asked one of her thirteen-year-old twins.

“I don’t think I’m going to the party,” the teen replied. “I don’t ever win the best costume.”

“You are going,” Shelly replied. “You will have a good time even if you don’t win.”

“But, ma!”

“We parents set up these parties on Halloween to prevent ‘The Wilding’ that children your age get into on Halloween. There is not going to be an argument and you will be in costume.”

“Do I have to?”

Shelly gave her daughter THAT look.

“OK, but what will I be?”

“You have pestered me for that motorbike so why not dress as a Hell’s Angel?”

“Humm. A biker.”

The tomboy thought for a moment about that possibility, but rejected it because something wasn’t right with the idea.

“How about being Bonnie Parker?” her mother asked, thinking about her daughter’s phony criminal thoughts. “We can get you a toy Tommy gun and make a dress from the 1930’s.

“Still not right,” Stephi answered.

“Marie Antoinette? I can fix it that you’re holding your bloody head.”

“Nope”

“Lizzie Borden?”

“Who?”

”Lizzie Borden gave her mother forty whacks. When she was done she gave her father forty-one. She was an ax murderer about 1880.”

“Ewew.”

“Look on the bright side, you can say, ‘Here’s Johnny!’”

“I don’t think so, ma.”

“Then what?”

“What are Maggie and Baruchah going as?”

“They asked me if we can go through the neighborhood as witches,” Shelly replied. “We will be ‘good witches’ in pink.”

“Not me. I’m just a tomboy, ma.”

“Victor/Victoria?”

“Too easy.”

“We’ll think of something.”

The two ladies sat and thought. Nothing came out of either’s head for a long time. Then suddenly Shelly put her hands on Stephie’s shoulders and looked intently at her daughter. She then picked up Stephie’s chin and moved it from sided to side.

“Humm,” Shelly thought out loud. “It may just work.”

“Why don’t I think I’m going to like this?” asked Stephie.

“How about something completely out of character?” Shelly asked. “How about being a beauty contest winner?”

“I can’t. I’m ugly.”

“You are pretty, and getting prettier every day.” Shelly replied.

“I am?” Stephie smiled.

“You are very pretty,” her mother said. “With the right dress and hairstyle and makeup you would look beautiful.”

“I don’t know,” came the young woman’s reply.

“I’ll even let you wear my diamond drop earrings you like.”

“How do you know about that?”

“Ally, Elsa, Issy and you were at my dresser when I passed my bedroom a few weeks ago and I overheard you talking about them. I smiled when I heard that.”

“So much for being a tomboy.”

“I’m letting you be the person you will become. Right now you need to be a tomboy. I understand that, even if I don’t like it. And when you discover who you really are I know you’ll prefer jeans to dressy dresses. But I think you will like the woman you will become.”

“Thank you, mom.”

Stephi gave her mother a great hug. Her mom isn’t as bad as she thought although the girl was still in the “MOTHER, PHHHHHHLLLLLEASE!” stage.

“I was afraid I will be just like you,” Stephie confessed.

“In some respects you will be. In other ways you will be different. I know that some day you will say, ‘I’m just like my mom! Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!’ I know because I’ve said that about me.”

“Oh! Oh!”

“If we’re lucky you will pick up all the good things about me and none of the bad.”

“I hope so,” Stephie replied. “So I can get my ears pierced?”

“Only one hole in each ear.”

“But, mom…”

“No ‘but, moms!’ ”

“Aw.”

“And borrow one of my three inch heels so you can practice walking in them before the party. But let me know which ones so I know where to go if I need them.”

With that the two women started to make dinner for the family. In the coming days the two went shopping for a beautiful gown when Stephie also had her ears pierced.

However, a few days later Stephie changed her mind, “Mom I’d rather be an ice skater.”
.
“We can handle that,” Shelly replied. “But you will have to use that gown we bought for something else.”

Stephie frowned. She wasn’t too happy with the prospect of going to a formal affair.

“Yes, mother,” came the thirteen-year-old’s reply.

Shelly gave a silent sigh. She knew those words said that Stephie was placating her mother for the time being. It is part of the game that eventually will lead to Stephie’s independence, something that Shelly knew would eventually come.

“We’ll look for the items tomorrow at the mall,” Shelly said. “I have an idea what would look good on you. Let me know what you want.”

The next day they went shopping for the outfit. Getting the skates was the easy part. Stephie described the outfit she wanted. Shelly agreed. It would be a baby blue leotard with small flashing beads, and a matching pair of tights. Shelly bought some baby blue lace to make a blouse. They also bought some matching beads. They were able to get a navy blue jacket at a sporting goods store. Finally, Shelly bought some thread for the embroidering that would have to be done on the Jacket.

Meanwhile, Shelly started making the outfits for Maggie, Baruchah, little Michelle and herself. In between making the witches’ outfits, Shelly and Stephie made the blouse and embroidered the jacket. The jacket would have a picture of an ice skater in the middle of Stephie’s name. The skater was designed to be in the middle of a spin. Like Stephie, the skater had auburn hair down to her shoulder blades. Sizing everything for Shelly and her family was a chore that gave the young woman pleasure. The fact that her sister, Jenna, was able to help while making the matching ballerina dresses Cathy, and Jenna would wear made the time fly faster.

Finally it was October 30th, time for the final fittings and checking the costumes. Shelly put Baruchah and Maggie into their witch’s outfit and checked the look.

“Stay still, Baruchah,” her mother said. “Or I’m going to stick a pin in you.”

“Don’t do dat!”

“Then stand still.”

“I am,” Baruchah replied as she danced on the stool.

Shelly sighed. Getting a little one into a bath is easier than have her stand still. At least this little one was giving her mother only a little problem.

Cathleen giggled.

“And you are more of an iggly, piggly, wiggly worm than her,” Jenna told her three-year-old daughter as she tried to fix her baby’s ballerina costume.

Just then, Stephanie came down the stairs wearing her costume.

“Yous looks like booteeeful ice princess,” Michelle said to her sister.

“Thank you,” Stephie said as she curtsied. “And so are you, baby witch. Mom? How do I look?”

Shelly stopped what she was doing and looked at her daughter.

“Turn around slowly,” Shelly said.

As Stephie turned, Shelly looked at her daughter with a critical eye. Fortunately, nothing was out of place with her daughter’s outfit.

“Go upstairs and get ready for the beauty parlor,” Shelly said. “Daddy will drive us there.”

“We going too?” asked Michelle.

“We are, princess,” Shelly replied to her two-year-old. “We’re all getting our hair done.”

Norman helped Shelly put the children into their car seats in the minivan. As she put Michelle into her baby seat she remembered the day she got the child. Before her transition Michelle was a thirty-three-year-old male to female transsexual with severe multiple sclerosis on welfare.

“Are you sure you want to be two?” Shelly asked the wheelchaired TS.

“I want you as my mommy, and I really want to know what it is like growing up properly. Much younger, and I might not remember I was once physically a boy.”

“I have to warn you that my mom also had multiple sclerosis, so you may get it too.”

“I’ll take that chance. If I think I have it again I can have me checked and stop the damage before it gets bad. Now there are medicines that can maintain me at that minor damage to my body. Someday there may be a cure.”

The next day everyone was ready. Norman and Rick got the older girls to their respective parties while Jenna and Shelly took their little munchkins trick-or-treating. They were joined by Shelly’s daughter, Rachael taking her Sara trick-or-treating. Going from house to house was fun for the little ones as they giggled and talked to friends. Sometimes the children held their mothers’ hands; sometimes they held each other’s. At times the women stopped and talked to their neighbors.

Then the group ran into Kennedy Harper and her mother.

“See?” Baruchah said. “I tolded ya dat we’s witches.”

“Wow,” Kennedy said to her classmate. “Yous look like real witches!”

Kennedy was dressed as a princess.

“Of course wes is real witches,” Maggie said with pride.

Shelly looked at Kennedy’s mother, Colleen, with that knowing look that mothers have that said they understood kids. Colleen gave back that same knowing smile.

“And I’s a princess,” Kennedy said to Maggie.

“Mommy calls Sara, ‘Princess’ because that is what her name means. Sometimes she calls me that too, because she said to her I am her little princess too,” Baruchah commented.

“I’s a real princess,” Kennedy replied. “And yous no witches.”

“Tonight they are, sweetie,” Colleen explained.

Shelly saw that despite what Colleen said Kennedy was getting angry so she started to drag Maggie and Baruchah away from their classmate before there was a major problem. Shelly then said goodbye to Colleen.

As they walked away, Shelly pulled an apple out of her pocketbook and tossed it onto the ground near the Harpers. Before it hit the sidewalk it burst into a ball of flame. The fire rose slowly as it grew bigger. When it was about ten yards above the ground and three feet across it burst. Little white flowers fell to the ground. Neither the witch parents nor their children waited to see the looks on the Harpers’ faces.

When they arrived home, Jenna, Rachael and Shelly took the goodies from the children to inspect the contents. They even checked the food with magic to make sure it was safe for the children to eat. They were thankful that nothing was contaminated. They had a sworn duty to bring to justice at the Witches’ Court, anyone trying to hurt the neighboring kids by tampering with the food. They then gave the little ones some of the candy as a reward for their adventure as little witches and a ballerina.

Later that evening when Stephanie came home she was smiling.

“I won second prize, mama, and I met this boy,” she said as she hugged Shelly. “We danced together and talked most of the party. He says I’m pretty and we’re going to a movie Saturday night. His name is Sean and lives a few blocks away.”

Copyright 2001, 2011 SWL, SSL all rights reserved. As this is a remake, also protected is "Princess Hope" by Sarah Barndt.

Notes: This is a remake of "Princess Hope" by Sarah Barndt. I thank her for permission for using some of the story. There are other literary references as well. Some are direct quotes,others are paraphrases or reworked to fit the story. They include Psalms, Song of Songs (2[3]), Esther, As You Like It, Taming of the Shrew, Lion in Winter, Man of All Seasons, Forever After (2), Wild Seed/Mind of My Mind, Farscape (Sci-Fi channel), The Procrustean Petard (a Star Trek TG story), Rocky Raccoon (Beatles White), the true trial of the century (20th), a double reference to the author of the Psalms, 5 common sayings: 3 normal and 2 fractured, the definition of 'chutzpah', and a song from the late 50's or early 60's the title of which is the reference. The hardest one is probably the reference to the movie Paper Moon. Finding these references is the puzzle part of the story. Some should be easy. Some should be hard. Have fun.

Hiding in Plain Sight

by shalimar

It was the beginning of the dark times. Hans and Gilda were on their way home after a profitable journey through the more northern lands that they traveled with their merchandise. They camped about a day's journey north of Mandenburg Castle, home of their friends, Count Dietric and his wife, Olga. They slept contently in their wagon, keeping each other warm. The campfire was already burning low. Suddenly there was the noise of someone approaching their wagon and, not taking any chances, Hans picked up his sword. Gilda was also awake holding a frying pan.

"May I come into your camp?" a female voice called.

Hans and Gilda lowered their weapons.

"Yes," he answered.

He regretted his reply when the figure of the woman emerged from the shadows. She was about 5' 2" with black curly hair that came down to her waist. Her 20-something body in her peasant dress exuded sex as she walked with a bundle in her hands toward the frightened couple. They recognized her as Bertha, the witch.

"I see that you know of my reputation, but do not be afraid of me, good people," she said as she approached the wagon. I am here tonight to give you a gift. I know that the 2 of you cannot have children. My skills and powers cannot fix that at this time. I am not as powerful as people say. When and if I can and if it is not too late for the 2 of you I will offer you to have a natural child. But this child needs a family now, and I can't think of better parents for this baby boy."

"Why us?" asked Hans.

"I have seen and dealt with you before. You 2 are kind and loving. You are merchants. To be merchants you know how to read, write and do arithmetic. That knowledge is the magic to learning. As merchants you meet millers and kings, peasants and tailors, innkeepers and fishermen. Yet as merchants you still care for you customers, a rare commodity. This boy will need to know about all kinds of people and how to deal with them fairly. This boy is special. He needs special upbringing."

"What do you think, Gilda?" Hans looked at his wife of 18. Her golden straight hair clashed with his auburn wavy locks.

"I don't know." She looked at the sleeping baby. "He's so adorable. How can I say 'no' to a little angel like that?"

"We'll take the child," whispered Hans. He lowered himself from his full 5' 5" frame and extended his strong arms to receive the bundle of joy and then handed him to his pretty wife. "And thank you for this gift."

"You must not say that I gave you the child," cautioned Bertha. “You must say that you met a young prostitute in our neighboring country and that she gave him to you. You MUST! A lot of good people died so this child could live. His mother, the people of my village of Puhl." She looked away from them as tears welled up in her eyes.

"Please stay," stated a concerned Hans. "Have some food, rest, and let us help you grieve."

"Thank you for the food," she ate as she talked. "Sometimes doing magic can take a lot of energy. However, I cannot stay long. My presence here will only endanger the child."

"Where will you go?"

"I'm going to hide in plain sight. It has worked before."

"Then could you help us not give his identity away?"

"I could change your memories."

"Yes, that will be good. What do you say, Gilda?"

"Anything for our baby." Her maternal instincts were already kicking in.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes," said Gilda. "He's too precious a jewel to loose."

"Then sleep. When you waken you will believe that he is the son of a whore whom you have adopted. You will have the papers to prove that he is yours, now.” She handed the papers to them. They seemed to appear from thin air. "The only times the spell will be broken is when he has a legitimate need to know and then after when he is no longer in danger."

"Good by, sweet prince." Bertha kissed the baby and she was gone. She was there and then she wasn't. They took the baby, whom they named Maximillion, into the wagon and went back to sleep. They awoke to the sounds of their adopted son wailing for some food. After breakfast they rode the day's journey to the Mandenburg Castle and presented their new arrival to the Count and Countess. Their son, Kurt, who was almost a year older, met his best friend for the first time.

Maximillion grew up and learned all the things that a traveling merchant needed to make money. He was so good in his teens that his parents had him work the other parts of the town that they were in at the time. He more than doubled their profit. They were proud of him. He usually worked with his sister, Grettle, who was 4 years younger than Max. Max remembered that his parents had to visit the witch in the capital's castle about a year before she was born. The castle where Lord Paul von Criten, the Usurper as the locals called him, lived. Max tried to ask his parents and the witch about why they had to visit for Grettle several times, but each time he was about to ask one of them he forgot what he was about to ask.

Max seemed to enjoy the more domestic chores of the family, such as cooking. Until he grew up, when he was in town or relaxing alone or with his parents, he was found more often with the girls than with the boys. There was always one exception, his friend Kurt. When he was in Mandenburg Castle the 2 of them were inseparable.

Max wasn't effeminate. He was strong and knew how to deal with the men including ruffians. He easily learned the manly art of defending himself with is wits, his fists and with weapons. He also enjoyed hunting, especially with Kurt. He grew to be a handsome young man of 5' 6” that was tall for the times.

He once went to war to defend the kingdom. In one battle he might have saved Kurt's life by dragging him away from the battle and caring for him after Kurt was injured.

In his late teens Max usually had the girls in his lap and often in his bed. At Madenburg Castle Kurt often supplied his friend with a beautiful local girl. Sometimes the girls had to wait. The friends often talked into the wee hours and sometimes until dawn. Their parents' admonishment about keeping a girl waiting never made a difference to them.

Which brings me to my story. Just after my 20th birthday Mom, Grettle and I were traveling home from a very profitable journey to the North Country. Dad had died 2 years before from sickness. We were about an hour from our modest dwelling. Part of my gladness was that I was going to see Rachael, a local girl that I was beginning to like a lot. I could do nicely with her as my bride. Some knights approached us.

"Are you Maximillion, son of Hans the Merchant?" asked the leader.

"I have been called that," I replied. As I was adopted and that question could be used 2 ways, I was not going to be trapped in an apparent lie while telling the truth. That was especially true in these forbidden times.

"You must come with us, by order of the Regent."

"Please good sir, we are only an hour away from our home, and my mother and sister would have trouble getting our remaining merchandise into our house alone. Could we stop by there and help them unload? It is not much out of the way and the Regent would never know. There would be something in it for you and your men. Then I would go peacefully."

He thought for a minute. He had his orders, but he was not a cruel man. "Alright, we can do it your way."

We rode the distance to our home and unloaded the wagon. I paid the captain and asked that he distribute the money fairly to the rest of the soldiers. The only 'incident' was when my sister whispered to me that when they were unloading that she would ride quickly to Mandenburg Castle and inform Count Kurt of what the Regent was doing to me. I told her not to do anything rash, but to wait until they leave and discuss it with mom. I also told her to take care of our mother even if it risked my life. I suggested that she should take mom with her to the castle. She also promised me that she would give my apologies to Rachael. As I had promised, I got on one of the spare horses that the soldiers had, and rode with them to the capital. We arrived a week later.

I was brought into the Great Hall and made to wait for the Regent to come and talk to me. I admit that I was afraid. Although I have sold items to him and his castle in the past, I tried to avoid much contact with him. His bite is worse than his bark. I waited for what seemed several hours with nothing to do.

He finally came in with his witch, Hilda. The 50-year-old man was dressed impeccably in his tights and tunic. Covering his body was the King's royal robe of purple. This practice gave him the nickname of the Usurper. The witch looked like she was in her 40's, yet had a body that most men would drool over. I admit that I liked the way she looked in her white dress. She seemed to float towards me. She put her hand under my chin, picked it up slightly, and moved from side to side as she looked at it closely.

"He would do nicely," she said. "He has the look of your predecessor with the hint of his wife in him."

I looked back and forth between the two of them.

"You are Maximillion, son of Hans I presume," he said.

"I am called Maximillion. I am Hans's adopted son, my lord."

"Max, may I call you Max? Have you heard the story of my predecessors?"

"They died under mysterious circumstances and you took over."

"Those mysterious circumstances was my killing them," a matter of fact admission to murder. He was confident. "Did you hear that they had an heir?"

"There are rumors that there might be one. A girl about my age, I think."

"The girl's name is princess Anna. I have found this Princess Anna and in one month will present her in her true form to the public. That girl is you. Max, what you will do is become Princess Anna."

I starred at him in disbelief.

"Hilda will transform you from a young man into a young woman and as such become Princess Anna. You will be complete including the ability to have babies, my babies."

I shuddered at that statement. Having babies, especially of that pig, is not my idea of having fun.

"As princess Anna you will be heir to the throne, and when you marry me, which you will, I will be king in name as well as deed."

It was bad enough I had to marry a guy, which is a crazy enough thought. I had to marry that pig? Yuck.

"But I can't be Princess Anna. I was born to a whore in another country. My adoptive parents brought me into this land. My loyalty is here, though, as I served defending it proves."

"That's the beauty of it. Everyone will believe it anyway. Although we don't know the exact date of your birth, you were born within a month of her birth. You will be Princess Anna because they and we say you are."

"And if I don't? What will happen if I kill myself instead? After all, what is the difference of one bastard?"

"Take a look outside."

He pointed to a window. I walked to it and looked outside. On the ground were about 50 peasants lined up against a wall with their hands tied behind their backs. Some were crying. They all looked scared. About 10 feet away were soldiers with bows and arrows ready to shoot the hapless victims.

"I guess I have no choice," I told him with a sigh.

I hid my anger towards him. He was truly evil giving me the choice between evil and evil. I vowed vengeance. Not for me, but for the peasants. They deserve not to be pawns in his stupid chess game. Just like I was. I then realized that some of the soldiers could also have no choice because of something he had over them. Vengeance is not enough. I needed justice.

My musing was ended by him talking again, “I knew you'd see it my way. You will make a fine princess."

He then dragged me up the stairs and outside to the top of the wall as Hilda followed. He had his trumpeters blow their horns and waited as the crowd formed below. I felt like all the world's a stage, and I was pushed out of the curtain into the middle of it with no costume and no one telling me my lines.

"All my years as Regent I have been looking for the lost Princess Anna," he told the crowd. "Through thorough search and research I have discovered that Bertha, the witch, had transformed her into this young man when he was a baby. My witch, Hilda will be able to slowly break that spell on this lad, Maximillion. In about one month you will see before you Princess Anna instead of Maximillion, the traveling salesman." The crowd applauded as he said to his witch, "Hilda you may take him, or should I say her."

She took me back down the stairs to a room on the second floor of the castle. As we walked she explained what was going to happen to me.

"Max, you will be taking a potion twice a day. This potion is very powerful and could make you feel lightheaded or nauseous. I'm sorry, if I could do it another way, I would. Anyway, you will have to take this medicine for a month. In the end you will be completely a young woman. Expect your period then."

"Period?" Is there any end to the bad news?

"Yes, when a woman bleeds. It proves she is fertile, but not yet pregnant. Please understand that I do not want to do this to you. It pains me, but I have to survive. You don't live to be over 300 by not surviving. If I left before I did this, he would hunt me down and kill me, and anyone who helped me. My mortality I can deal with. I can't have another person's needless death on my conscious again."

She looked away from me and I thought I heard a tear.

"I'm sorry," I told her. "I was so caught up in what was happening to me that I couldn't see what's happening to you." I put my arm around her shoulders.

"I think we'll get along well, your highness."

"Not yet, I'm not."

We both smiled.

Then in a whisper I said, could I count on you to rid me of this meddlesome evil?"

"Don't ever ask that of anyone in the castle or within earshot of someone else," she whispered back.

I thought I saw her nod her head 'yes'. I wasn't sure. When we got to the room there were about 5 ladies of the realm sitting, standing and talking. They stopped the talking when they saw me enter the room and curtsied. I bowed to them. They giggled.

"Why?" I asked.

"Soon you will need to curtsey yourself," one of them said. I later found out that her name was Lady Wilma.

"Lady Frederica, please get the robe for our princess," said Hilda. Max, from now on we will call you Princess Anna. Please strip, your highness."

I was embarrassed to be naked in front of the ladies, but they told me that I didn't have anything they didn't see before. That helped. As I removed my clothes Lady Frederica brought a very frilly, feminine, silk robe and helped me into it. It was tight around the shoulders and short. It came to my lower thighs. I was then handed a cup filled with a bluish liquid.

"Drink this, your highness. It's your first potion," said Hilda.

I did. It tasted chalky. I sat in a chair. They giggled again. My inquiry told me that I was sitting like a man and that I should learn to sit like a woman so that I wouldn't expose myself that much. I closed my legs as best as I could, but my legs naturally widened. About an hour later I felt nauseous. The women helped me to my bed and talked to me, and each other, while they cared for me during my first hour of crisis. I was thankful for that because it helped me forget my stomach. I also enjoyed their company and found that, except for my stomach, I could relax.

This routine of getting my drink was continued at dawn and dusk. Every time I drank the liquid I felt the nausea about an hour later. I was thankful that the women were there to help me through these minor crises. There were many times that I wanted to stop the potion, but the thought of the peasants stopped me. I could not have them on my consciousness. With each day I noticed that my shoulders were not as broad, my strength was less, I wasn't as tall, my hips were wider, and after 2 weeks my breasts grew. By that time my genitals were mostly inside me and I had to pee sitting down. By the second week I was a little taller than the women, but just barely. My body hair also changed. The second week I had peach fuzz on my face. The third I had no beard at all. My voice gradually became higher until it was normal for a woman my age. I also noticed that I was getting into the conversation of the women more and more. The second week also began my dressing in dresses and skirts. They finally began to fit. I also began my lessons of how to be a woman. I actually enjoyed these sessions, especially the talking. They talked about their families, their husbands (those that were married) or boyfriends. I began to want to have a man myself, but the one that I was destined for was a pig. I hated the thought.

At night, though, my dreams were of happier times with my friend, Kurt. By the third week I was a woman around him in my dreams. I even dreamed several times that I had sex with him. I awoke with hard nipples, my fingers in my vagina and a wetness on my bed near my crouch. In one dream I went about the city looking for him. I saw one of the watchmen and asked, "Have you seen him whom my soul loves?" I told the other women about my dreams. They told me that it was normal with a girl dreaming about her love and told me that he would eventually be mine. When I heard the last part I was happy each time the rest of the day. Even the Regent's presence would not dampen my mood.

Each day about noon the Regent took me to the top of the wall and showed me to the people of the city. They saw my transformation, and sometimes it embarrassed me. The most embarrassing part was the way he held me. He acted like I belonged to him. My flesh crawled whenever he touched me.

The 20th anniversary of the Regent's rule was at the beginning of the third week of my transformation. He held a banquet that many of the lords and ladies of the realm were required to attend. I was, of course, required to sit next to the Usurper. He outdid himself. Everyone seemed to enjoy the event. Although I enjoyed the company, except the Regent's, I wasn't able to eat much that evening. The Pig noticed my picking at the food and asked what was wrong with the food.

"I will speak plainly, my lord," I said. "My stomach cannot eat so much food. I do not know if it is the medicine that your witch gives me or the fact that I am more woman than man. It is probably both. If this event was not that important to you I would have begged off being here tonight. As it is, I will probably retire early. Please forgive me when I do, my lord."

I then turned around and began to talk to a handsome Barron that had tried to talk to me just before that...that.... words could not describe my loathing for him. Not feeling well later on, I eventually retired while the party was in full swing.

The next morning after my dose of medicine and upset stomach the Regent came into my room and demanded that the ladies leave. They looked at me. I nodded my head and said that I would be alright. He closed the door.

"You embarrassed me last night."

"How? You had a nice party and I enjoyed myself until I got sick. I mingled with the guests and they seemed pleased."

"You didn't pay any attention to me!"

"Better luck next time."

"You didn't promote my kingship. That is your job."

"In a few days you may marry me. Then you will have me as a wife IN NAME ONLY. I will not allow you into my bed, nor will I come to you."

"I killed my predecessor and his queen." He didn't realize it, but he gave me the proof to hang him when I became queen. "What makes you think that I would not do it to you?"

"I am way too valuable to you. Besides, you would be doing me a favor. Only the peasants stopped me that first day."

"You are too impudent."

"I'm allowed to be. I am a princess that will be queen. Now go away. I need to talk to my ladies in waiting."

"I will send them away."

"Including your witch? I won't be complete. The others help me through the tough parts of my day."

"Not now. Soon."

He left. I was crying when the other women returned. I explained to them his threat to us. We tried to cheer each other up. I knew I would miss them. I saw tears in their eyes.

"I know," said Lady Frederica after a while. "We could go shopping. We could get clothes."

"That should cheer us up,” said Lady Dina.

"I can't," I said. "Not enough time. It's too close to noon. He's going to take me onto that wall."

"Ignore him," said Lady Katerina. "It will prove that he doesn't own you."

"I also don't have money."

"Taken care of," said Hilda. Meet me at the main entrance in 5 minutes."

We were already cheerful and chatting away with each other. We descended the steps and met Hilda who had a large purse full of money.

"How did you get that much money? I could never repay you," I said.

"It's from YOUR treasury. I've been using it for years. For the poor, mainly. I also finance the resistance this way. I even use it pay for ransoms that he demands."

"Just do me a favor. Be honest about what you take when I'm queen."

"Sure." There was an impish grin on her face.

"Promise?"

"Promise." She had a mock look of hurt on her face. I knew she would keep her word, sort of, I suspected that even when she would 'forget' she would do the right thing, usually.

We walked the 10 blocks to a tailor that had the best reputation in town. I had dealt with him constantly when I was Max to our mutual satisfaction. We walked in and he bowed to us.

"My ladies." Recognizing the ladies with me he said to me, "you must be the princess, your highness."

"Cut it out, Sam. It's me, Max under these skirts."

I hated the formality of the court almost as much as I hated that pig.

"I must say, your highness...err Max, you do look lovely."

He kissed my hand. I must admit it gave me pleasure and goose bumps. I sighed happily. Flattery will get you everywhere.

"Please, Sam, not now. This is not a formal occasion. Although I admit I liked what you did, we're just a bunch of women here to have you do your wonders. Where is your wife?"

"I guess we ARE among friends. Miriam is out delivering messages. We can't use you anymore."

I was not too surprised by his answer. I always suspected that as traveling merchants we had an unusual amount of mail to deliver within the kingdom.

"Is there anyone that supports this…this...bastard?"

There I said it. I may be one legally. He was one in actions.

"We only have to watch out for some of his spies," said Lady Katerina.

"How do you know that I'm not a spy, Sam?"

"What do you think the letters are about?" he asked. "You and your peace, but soon we will rid us of this usurper."

"After you're finished changing," the witch said to me. "Not before."

"I still need to find a way to do it peacefully," I sighed. "Promise you won't do anything until I try it that way? I want to prevent the bloodshed." I looked at each one individually. "I am the princess of the realm, soon to be queen. Let me at least try."

They were silent for a long time.

Finally Hilda said, "We will wait a reasonable time."

"But we can't have him too much longer," Lady Katerina added. “He's hurting us all. I see my peasants suffer and it hurts me inside. We will give you until the end of your second period."

"Enough of politics. What can you do for us?" asked Lady Frederica getting us back to our purpose.

"First let's look at the material," Sam told us.

We looked at bolts and bolts of material as we talked. We told him how we wanted the dresses made. He suggested how they were wearing it in Paris, Warsaw, Berlin, and Milan. Liking some of what he said we made some changes. Each of our dresses was different. He then measured us so that we could have perfect fits.

During the measurements a young lad from the castle entered the shop. He was about 12 years old. He was all of 5' and skinny. His golden locks went down to his neck.

"I have been ordered by the Regent to take you back to the castle, your highness."

"Can't you say you didn't find us?" asked Lady Katerina.

"Or find us, say, in an hour or two?" asked Lady Frederica.

"If I did I would not see tomorrow, my ladies."

We all went silent. I had to think as if I was already queen.

"I can't follow his evil ways. I must seek peace and pursue it."

I looked at Sam and the other ladies. The girls gave me a smile.

"May you be as beloved as my father who said that nearly 2000 years ago," replied Sam.

"I just hope to do a good job when I'm queen. Then I turned to the boy. "What is your name, son?"

"Gá¼nter, your highness."

"Gá¼nter, how would you like to be a squire at another castle? One that I know you will be safe from this regent."

"Yes, I don't like what I see here. Too many bad things."

"Sam, give me a pen and some paper."

Sam went to his desk and gave me what I needed. I wrote a note that said,

"Kurt,
Protect this boy, Gá¼nter.
Love,
Maxi"

I asked him to put the letter in his shirt and go as fast as he could to Mandenburg Castle.

"What does it say?"

"It says that you can be the squire of the count Mandenburg or one of his knights. Please don't let anyone see the letter in your shirt."

"That castle is too far. I don't have the means to get there, your highness."

I looked at Hilda who still held the money purse. She nodded her head and took some of the money out.

"Gá¼nter, take this money and buy a horse and some food. Ride as fast as you can without hurting the horse to Mandenburg castle. Tell the count that Maxi sent you."

"Who's Maxi?"

"Don't worry. He'll know."

As the child left I turned to Sam and said, "Sam, I think we will be a little short. Could you trust us with the rest?"

"You have trusted me in the past, and I can afford to wait. That was beautiful, your highness. You will be a great queen."

"I don't know. The thought of ruling scares me."

"You acted like you were already queen."

"That scares me too."

Sam finished the measurements. He then draped each cloth around us so that we had an idea of what the dresses would finally look like. I admit I was pleased by what I saw in the mirror. He promised that the dresses would be finished within a week. How he was going to do that with his wife away amazed me. When we left the tailor we were in great moods. I knew that even that
Bastard (I said it easier that time) could not change it.

...............

Finally the day came that I took the last of the medicine. I was glad when I drank the last of the potion that morning. My hour of upset stomach would be my last, or so I thought. That evening
I was unusually happy as I went down to the Great Hall and sat in my usual place next to that pig. I knew that he could not change my attitude. All went well and I was able to eat a little more than I had over the recent month. When I was finishing eating I felt a cramp in my abdomen. It hurt almost as bad as my stomach did in the past. It affected my stomach and I almost threw up. I was scared. What kind of sickness did I have? I excused myself and tried to get up. I felt dizzy and sat down. The Ladies in Waiting and the witch helped me up.

As they did Lady Wilma said, "That's why. You have our little visitor, the problem of women. Now, let's get you to your room and get you cleaned up." Then to the Regent, "Please have the cook bring some broth, my lord. And also have someone bring warm wet towels. She will be indisposed for a while."

"How long?"

"I don't know. Hours, days," replied Lady Frederica.

He smiled.

"Don't you have any compassion?" asked Lady Katerina.

He started to slap her with the back of his hand.

"Don't," I said.

For some reason he stopped. Maybe he could be controlled.

"What's happening to me?" I cried when we were in the hallway.

"You have become a woman," said Hilda. "The rest of us learned about this when we were 10 to 14. It means you can have babies."

"Not by that pig. Please, you have to help me."

"He already knows," said the witch. "That is why he smiled. This is your first. With your permission I could make it less painful."

"My first?"

"Your period. You will have more like this, once a month, like every other woman. Next time you could be bitchy just before it happens."

Great, I could bite off the head of some fabulous guy one week before I need him to take care of me. That's a no win situation.

I was finally in my room and the ladies helped me off with my dress. I screamed when I saw the blood. I saw it first on the dress and petticoats. When I saw it coming from me I screamed louder.

"It's all very normal," Lady Frederica said. "We'll clean you up and then have your clothes cleaned. Put this between your legs."

It was a warm wet towel. I felt no better with it. How do women endure this every month?

They stayed the night helping me throughout this nightmare. The broth with some of Hilda's herbs calmed my stomach, which was reacting to the pain further down. It was so bad that I was indisposed for 3 days.

I was told that he went up to the wall and announced that I had my period. They said that he said that is why I was not with him. They said he gloated. How gross. Later that first few days of my period I was told that he was happy and dancing. Only HE could be happy about someone else's misery.

The day after my period ended he again took me up to the wall for everyone to see. I tried to worm my way away from him, but he was physically too strong. I admit I was more afraid than normal. As usual he had his trumpeters announce a message he was to give the crowd. I still struggled. When the crowd gathered to its largest strength he let me go and went to the wall.

"I have great news for you all," he shouted with a happy voice. "Princess Anna and I are going to be married."

"WE ARE NOT!" I shouted. "WE ARE NOT... mmphf"

He grabbed me and put his hand on my mouth. I broke away. Where I got the strength from I don't know.

"I WILL NOT MARRY HIM! I WILL NOT MARRY THIS PIG!"

He grabbed me and threw me around. I fell and felt pain in my left arm. Fortunately it did not break. I got up again and went to the wall.

"I AM PRINCESS ABOUT TO BE QUEEN OF THE REALM. I WILL MARRY WHOM I CHOOSE."

He grabbed me and threw me down. I hit my head. The rest was fuzzy. Somehow Hilda was there and she quickly threw a protection spell on me and somehow quieted the anger of Lord
Paul. I was lucky more damage wasn't done to me. Somehow I got to my room. I think she helped me. I was dizzy by then. I blanked out.

Slowly I awoke from my ordeal. I saw a worried Lady Katerina leaning over me. My head and arm were not the only places that hurt, only the worst. I felt a scrape here, a bruise there. I'd probably feel more achy tomorrow.

"You're awake," and then she sighed with relief.

"What happened?"

"You nearly got yourself killed," replied Lady Maria. That's what you did."

"I mean, how did I get here?"

"I stopped him with a calming spell. I put a protection spell on you."

"I thought I felt the spell. Is it still there?"

"It will be for days."

"What about him?"

"He's happy as a lark." I frowned. "I also made him forget what happened to you until I remove it. That will protect you when he sees you. He will probably ask what happened to you. Tell him you fell down some stairs."

"That was a very dangerous thing you did," said Lady Frederica. I instinctively rubbed my arm. "And very brave."

"The doctor will be coming soon," said Lady Dina.

"The archbishop already knows that you don't want him," said Lady Maria. "Sam was in the crowd. When the fight was over he first told the doctor. Then he told his rabbi. The two of them informed the archbishop. The archbishop promised that he would not perform the marriage and will let the other priests know that they can't do it either. He promised the threat of excommunication if they did marry you against your will. His protection will end when you speak to him in private.

"I am grateful for what he did. I will send a letter to the Pope praising his integrity when I have a chance."

"He is also with us. We have used the priests to send messages before," said Lady Maria.

"Why couldn't you topple him before? It seems like his reign is like a house of cards."

"No one to lead us," replied Lady Wilma.

"What about Count von Mandenburg?"

Just mentioning his name made me feel better, at least inside.

"Too far away. By the time he'd arrive here von Criten would know. His defenses are too strong."

Lady Frederica's remark made me realize that this had to be an inside job.

"Here's the doctor," said Hilda.

"May I see the damage, your highness?"

As I showed him the bump on my head the other ladies took off my dress and my petticoats. I discovered that the dress was torn in several places. It felt awkward to undress before a strange man, something that I wouldn't think about only a few weeks before. I did it anyway. He noted the big bruise on my arm and several scrapes that included my rear and legs.

"I see you met your match."

"Doc, it's only a scratch."

"I agree. I don't think that the damage is that great, but just in case I would like to stay at the castle tonight. I'm worried about internal bleeding and things like that which we can't see. Maybe I could have a bed just outside your door."

He turned to Hilda.

"Hilda, I think you can do more that I can. I would like to speak to you after I'm finished."

I looked at him worried.

"No need, your highness. I just want to explain to her what I observed so that she could take care of you better. I bow to her greater ability in healing. I also have a salve that should care for the wounds."

"I have to stop Lord Paul," I said when he left. "I need to form a plan."

I tried to get up, but it hurt too much. I lay back down.

.....................

"Look what we found," Lady Dina said.

She was holding a few dresses that had the smell of having been stored for a long time.

"Where did you get these?" asked Lady Frederica.

"I went exploring on one of the towers. There are more like these there with jewelry and shoes."

"They should fit you," Hilda said to me.

"Why me?"

"These belonged to Queen Opal. I turned you into Princess Anna, not just any girl."

"Is that why I think the way I do?"

"It is a part. How about you try them on."

This was better than going to Sam the tailor. I tried the 4 dresses on. Two fit exactly and two were a little big in the bosom.

"These all belong to my mother?"

I had to make the assumption.

"I guess so," replied Hilda. "Why?"

"Two different breasts sizes."

"Some could be pre-you and some could be post-you," Lady Katerina said. "A woman's got to nurse, you know. She gets bigger here for her child." She touched her breasts.

"This is going to be fun," I said.

Among the items found was a beautiful wedding dress. I just held it up to my body and looked in the mirror. I knew I wanted to wear it soon, but not for that bastard. There was another dress
that was in royal purple and had a removable cape on the shoulders. It had an empire cut that was not really out of style. I tried it on and discovered it had the larger top, but it had drawstrings around the neck so I could make it tighter. When it was on me, Lady Wilma took the crown she found in the jewelry case and put it on my head. I looked in the mirror and realized that I looked complete. I turned around and saw each of the other women curtsey. It was a strange experience. I cried.

"Ladies, you are my friends. In the future you only have to curtsey to me in formal occasions. It is bad enough then."

Happily I shared the jewelry.

..................

The ladies got me ready to wear the dress, fixing my hair and putting rogue on my face.

"I wish you didn't have to do this," said Lady Katerina.

"So do I, but I must."

"There has to be another way," said Lady Frederica.

"We've been over this already."

"Can't you have someone else do it?" asked Lady Gwendolyn.

"Who could I send that would have as much chance to succeed?"

"We're afraid," said Lady Dina.

"I have no choice."

But you are right. You should be afraid.

"You had no choice when he had me turn you into a woman," I reminded Hilda. "You did it because of him."

"I'm still doing it because of HIM. Now it is also because of you...and them. The rest of my kingdom."

"The ladies helped me into her dress. The royal purple one that belonged to Queen Opal. The low cut in the front showed off the top of my pert breasts nicely although that area was the only loose part. In my shoes, her shoes that fit me perfectly, the length of the skirt ended just over the floor. In it I looked like the dress was mine and not my mother's. Was she my mother? Was I told a pack of lies about my birth? If that was true it was done to protect me. I can't blame anyone for that. I hope to live long enough to know the truth.

"Are you sure everything is ready?" I asked as they added the purple tunic that completed the outfit.

I now had my costume and knew my lines.

"Yes, but we are still afraid for your life," replied Lady Katerina.

"If I die, I die."

Inside I was so afraid I was shaking. I had to sound confident at least for them.

"When you first came here you were a means to an end. Now you are a friend. One that I know we would miss if something happens to you," she told me.

"I will be alright."

I hope.

"Are you sure there isn't another way?" asked Lady Frederica again.

"I have to end this absurdity. Preferably as queen. If not, as the reason for the revolt."

"You're risking too much," Lady Wilma said.

"I am princess of the realm, about to be queen. If I can't do this I shouldn't be queen. This is MY kingdom and I must do what is right for MY people."

"Could I at least put a protection spell on you?"

"He would know. I can't risk your life to save mine."

"I already have."

"Besides the other day?"

"I'll tell you everything when this is over. You have a right to know. Don't ask me before."

I looked at her with questions in my eyes.

"Can you at least take a weapon?" Lady Maria asked.

"We've gone over this before. NO!"

"Will you reconsider?" asked Lady Frederica.

"Or delay?" asked Lady Katerina.

I knew they were trying to save me from a potential disaster.

"Do I have to pull rank on you?"

They all curtsied. It surprised me. I didn't expect what they did. It was then I realized I was truly their queen. They and all the rest were MY responsibility, which is why I had to do this. I then noticed that my hands were shaking.

"I'm nervous."

Lady Wilma came over and massaged my shoulders from the back.

"Take a deep breath. That's it. Hold it. Now let it out, slowly."

I felt better.

"Wish me luck."

"Luck!" they all said.

They each gave me a hug. Their eyes were wet and there was fear in their faces. I turned and stepped out the door into the hall looking for the Regent. The die was cast. The cast was drawn.
There was no turning back. I finally found him near his quarters.

"My, aren't we looking regal today."

He looked at me appreciatively. Yuck. I had to ignore what he said.

"My lord, I wish to speak to you in private."

"What is this all about?" he asked.

"You have created a monster, my lord, ME."

"You are a monster? That's interesting. You are a very pretty monster. Would you like to come into my chamber to discuss it?"

"Without your sword and dagger, please."

He obliged.

"And yours?"

"I'm not one to carry one yet. You can have that witch of yours search me if you wish."

"That won't be necessary. Guards watch my room while Princess Anna and I talk for a while."

We entered his room. He sat down in a chair and gestured that I do the same with one at right angles to him. I obliged. As I was sitting I felt him eyeing me up and down like a piece of meat. It made my stomach turn.

"Before I begin, you may wish to kill or torture me for what I say. If you do you will not leave this room alive."

"That's strange. I thought I was in control."

"Like I said outside you have created a monster. Otherwise I could not make such a statement. I do not know if I really am Princess Anna. Although I am not sure, your witch may know the truth. However as you said before I was transformed, most of the peasants believe that I am her and the rest don't care. Some of the nobles believe that I am, and like the peasants, the rest don't care. But both groups are supporting me because of what you are. What both the peasants and the nobles want is to get rid of you. You have been too cruel over these last 20 years. They would have started the rebellion already, except that I have stopped them."

"You say you have stopped them. I'm impressed."

"Thank you. No matter what the truth of my birth is, I am now Princess Anna by default. I started to become Princess Anna when you threatened me with the peasants' deaths. I felt responsible for them."

"The peasants. Maybe I should have killed some. I might have prevented this."

"That would not make a difference because now I feel responsible for far more. I want to stop the terrible effect of a revolution. More important is that there will be too many deaths on both sides in any revolt that would occur if you don't agree. Most of them good people. As their monarch..."

"As their monarch? You presume a lot."

"Yes, as their monarch, I would prefer this not to happen. For you see, I now feel responsible for this entire kingdom. I thank you for that."

"You're welcome, I think. What do you have in mind?"

"What I propose is peace."

"Something tells me that I will not like this 'peace'."

"I give you 2 choices. Either way I am queen. One way would be for you to be king. To do that you will have to make changes. These changes will cost you wealth now, but make you richer over time. You would start by lowering the taxes on the peasants. This will enable them to amass more wealth for themselves, eventually allowing you to have more money for yourself. You are also to start public works projects that my nobles and I suggest and should have happened long ago. This will again increase the economic base. I would guess that for every 4 marks that you spend you will eventually get back 5. Third, you will rescind the orders that are sending my Ladies in waiting away. They need to stop packing. I need their company. It is also a symbol to the nobles that you have accepted my terms. I also know that you wish me to be your queen. You would like to ravish me and make me have your children. One day, if you only pretend to accept this choice, I will have a dagger under my petticoats, and after you have taken me and are asleep, I will stick you like the pig you are. If I am with child or have a child then I will make sure that he will despise you. What I am proposing is that you reign in name only."

"Not a great choice. Is there room for negotiation?"

"We will listen to your input, but in general, no."

"I assume the second choice is worse."

"You may not think so. The second choice is for you to resign as Regent. I will officially thank you for your service and pardon you for any and all misdeeds that you have done while performing your duty. You will be exiled out of the country with enough of our treasury that you could live like a king for the rest of your life. It would be worth the money to rid us of you. However, your lands will be forfeited to the crown. I have a sister that will become a princess and could use your lands as a dowry. Be aware. If you try to regain my throne by raising an army, rest assured, you and everyone who is captured with you will be hanged immediately without trial."

"How could you defend yourself against a pretender to the throne such as your cousin, von Madenburg."

"Like I said before, I do not know if I really am Princess Anna or a pretender that you set up. It is of no importance. In order to assure peace in the realm, I have decided to marry that cousin you mentioned. We will reign together. He is, after all, my closest friend. It will be a marriage both of convenience and love, a rare combination for royalty. He once told me that when he was with a woman for the night he felt like he was cheating. He couldn't understand why. I now do. The best part of the convince idea of the marriage is that when we die our son will know that he is the legitimate heir to the throne and not care if it is through his mother or father."

"I will think about what you said and give you my decision."

"Not too long. Sometime over this next month the revolt will begin with or without my acquiescence."

"I have learned a lot today. It will help me in my future plans." He got out of his chair and opened the door to the room. "Guards, arrest this imposter!"

His guards entered his room and brandished their swords against HIM. He was very surprised. One placed his sword against his throat, another against his heart. The other 2 were aiming their swords at his lungs through his back. They took him down to the dungeon where before he had other people tortured. I asked that he get a stroke for each person he has tortured over the score of years he has usurped the throne as I patted the Usurper's face. I wished the torturer to have fun and ordered him to make sure that Lord Paul was awake for each lashing.

All the nobility that was in the castle at the time quickly pledged their loyalty to me. They were followed by my entire army that was present and finally the witch. She gave me a hug, the hug of a mother for her child. I then went up to the ramparts of the castle with the lords and ladies and other important people that were there at the time. I had the bugler sound an announcement. I waited for the crowd to appear.

"I am Princess Anna. I declare a month long celebration during which the castle will be open for all who wish to enter. The end of the celebration will be my coronation as Queen Anna. Lord Paul von Criten has been arrested and is being tried for many heinous crimes. He will be brought to the permanent scaffold tomorrow for sentencing. All the decrees that he made during the time he illegally controlled the throne will be reviewed. There will be some changes. Most of the changes will be the release of some prisoners and the lowering of some taxes. The rest I will try to rectify. Please be patient as there are 20 years of records to review. More details will be published on the castle main entrance in a few days."

All those who were on the ramparts and in the square below cheered and applauded. The celebrations were throughout the city. They lasted past dawn. It was the best lack of sleep that I ever had.

That morning bleary eyes I sent lord Paul to the scaffold. I then went to the ramparts and waited for the bugler to announce the event and the crowd to appear.

"Lord Paul von Criten, you have been found guilty of squandering the country's funds," I shouted to the boisterous crowd so they could hear. I sentence you to exile."

He sighed relief. As he did, I noticed a line of knights approaching. I put my hand up and told the crowd that we would wait for them to arrive. The leader stopped his men and removed his helmet. I recognized his light brown hair and beard instantly.

"KURT!" I shouted with a wide grin. I felt my heart pounding and a stirring in my loins. "I mean Count Mandenburg. What brings you here in full battle gear?"

"I was told you needed help. It seems that I am mistaken." His grin was a wide as mine.

"Didn't you get my message?"

"What message, your highness?"

"That I would try a peaceful method first."

"No, your highness."

"Stop with the 'your highness' bit. Inside this dress is your friend, Maxi. We never used titles."

"Except in formal occasions. This is a formal occasion, Maxi."

"Where are my mother and sister?"

"Safe at Eisenhorn Castle."

That was a 3 day's journey from the capital. I would see them within the week.

"I will send for them immediately."

"No need, your highness. I have already sent a horseman back when I discovered that you were not in danger."

I then notice that his squire was Gá¼nter.

"And your squire? Is that how you protect my friends I have charged you with?"

"He insisted he come, your highness. He said that you protected him, so he should protect you. Although I tried, he would not take 'no' for an answer. Some of my knights could learn determination from him."

"You are forgiven, my love. And of your former squire?"

He is the knight I sent back to Eisenhorn. His youth and the speed of his horse made the most sense. He begs your forgiveness."

"Forgive him for bring my family here? He deserves thanks instead. Your men are free to freshen up or watch the proceedings as they choose."

"Thank, you your highness."

"Enough of this chatter. Would you be kind enough to join me on this wall?"

"As you wish, your highness."

"No, as YOU wish, my lord."

"I do wish, Maxi."

"Meet Sir Destin at the entrance."

He got off his horse, took off his armor, and with a spring in his step started towards the castle entrance.

"Your squire may also come up here if he wishes."

The boy jumped off his horse and ran to the entrance. Most of the square applauded cheered and laughed.

When Kurt arrived I went over to him, put my arms around his neck and kissed him. He had his arms around my waist and pulled me into him as we kissed. His kiss was sweeter than wine. I even liked his tongue pressing against mine ant the feeling of him growing below. After what seemed like a glorious eternity we disengaged, I wanted to continue this in a more private condition. His look and touch made me believe that he wanted the same. I knew then that he was mine and I was his.

"Please don't argue about what I do with this man, "I whispered to Kurt. "This is the only time I will dispense justice like this."

I went back to the side of the wall.

"Lord Paul von Criten you have been found guilty of misappropriating the country's funds and taking it for your own gains. I sentence you to loose all your holdings both in this country and abroad."

He had a slight look of concern.

"Lord Paul von Criten you have been found guilty of illegally ruling this country. I sentence you to slavery. As a slave cannot hold a title, you have lost your title. Also, as part of your punishment, when you die and are buried, you must have an unmarked grave.

He looked down, dejected.

"Paul of Criten," I purposefully didn't use his formal title to make sure he understood the severity of my actions. "As you have fully admitted to me when you were Lord Paul von Criten, you have been found guilty of the murder of my father, King Sven. I sentence you to death by hanging.

He was frightened.

"Paul of Criten, as you have fully admitted to me when you were Lord Paul von Criten, you have been found guilty of the murder of my mother, Queen Opal. I sentence you to death by hanging."

He was terrified.

"Paul of Criten, as the murder of the king is always treason, you have been found guilty of treason. I sentence you to death by hanging. Paul of Criten, as the murder of the queen is usually
treason, and this case does not warrant extenuating circumstances, you have been found guilty of treason. I sentence you to death by hanging. Paul of Criten, as the murders of my mother and father was part of a plot to overthrow the legitimate government of this country, you have been found guilty of 2 counts of treason. I sentence you to death by hanging for both of these crimes. Paul of Criten, you have been found guilty of having illegally kidnapped the man known as Maximillion. I sentence you to loose your right hand."

With this person I agreed with the Islamic form of justice in regards to steeling.

"Paul of Criten, as that kidnapping was part of a plot to insure your illegal rule over my country, you have been found guilty of treason. I sentence you to death by hanging. Paul of Criten, 20
years ago you had your soldiers massacre the residents of the village of Puhl in the Southern district. Of the 538 residents there at the time, 537 were killed. You have been found guilty of 537 counts of murder in that incident. I sentence you to death by hanging for each of these deaths."

He went white.

"How do you know about that village? You were just an infant at the time."

"Ask your witch."

The witch, Hilda stepped over to the edge of the wall and leaned over.

"You know me as the Witch, Hilda. I am a witch, but my real name is Bertha. I had to disguise my self in order to save my life and the life of your princess who will soon be your queen. Those
500 residents of my home town were all relatives of mine including descendents. Most were friends. They died so that your queen could live. I have lived with the pain of their deaths and my responsibility of being at the wrong place at the wrong time since."

"I believe that the statements by the 2 of you convicts you, Paul of Criten," I stated. "As these lives were lost to save my life, you have been found guilty of 537 counts of treason. I sentence you to death by hanging for each of those deaths. These are the crimes that we are aware of."

I purposely chose not to use the incident on the wall as he still had no memory of that time.

"Should you survive today and we find other crimes that we believe you are connected to, you will be tried according to your station. Is that understood?"

He shook his head 'yes'. He was physically shaking. He couldn't speak.

"I am unaware of any mitigating circumstances. Can you offer anything in your defense?"

"I ask for mercy," he barely whispered.

"MERCY?" I asked incredulously. "Did you show mercy when you jabbed my father several times with your sword that he would die a slow and painful death? Did you show mercy when you tortured my mother for the information of my whereabouts until she died? Did you show mercy to the residents of Puhl?"

My hands were in fists that were white with anger. My nails dug into the flesh of my palms causing bleeding. My anger was getting the best of me. Seeing what was happening, Kurt gently grabbed my hand and put his in mine. He calmed me down. Slowly, I composed my self. I thought for a while.

"Who will buy this slave for 1 mark?" I asked.

"Too soft!” came a remark from the crowd below.

"Isn't worth the cost of food to feed him."

"He wouldn't work."

"Couldn't even lift half a bag of grain."

"Pay me to take him."

There were other more vulgar remarks. I raised my hands to silence the crowd.

"Paul of Criten, I tried to give you a life of a slave. At least you would live. No one wants you. Are there any extenuating circumstances?"

"No, your highness."

"I am your QUEEN!"

"Sorry, your majesty."

His transformation was now complete. I would have to wait a little longer for mine. But not too long. My beloved was next to me and I could smell his manliness.

"Apology accepted, but remember that for as long as you shall live."

I let those words register in his mind, and as expected he thought that he was not going to be executed.

When I was sure that was what he believed I exclaimed, "This is summary justice, the kind that this slave gave you when he illegally took the throne from my parents. This is the first and last time that I will use such methods in judging a case. In the future, a defendant shall have the right to defend him or her self and be allowed to disprove an accusation. Mr. Executioner, the slave before you has been sentenced to death. Please carry out that sentence, and then have this scaffold dismantled. And make sure the undertaker has him before nightfall."

I didn't want to see the execution, so I walked away from the wall and down the stairs holding Kurt's arm followed by those assembled. I heard the floor of the scaffold drop from under Paul the Usurper as we went. I dismissed everyone except for Kurt. I asked him into my private room. When we closed the doors we both spoke at once.

"You first, Kurt."

"No you first, you are a princess about to be queen. I will stand by rank for this matter."

He was right. Although I didn't feel any difference between us, I was legally his superior.

"MY lord, I first must thank you for taking care of my mother and sister."

"So formal, your highness"

"This is hard to do. I have trepidation. Please let me finish in my own way. These past few weeks my family has probably gone through almost as much anguish as I have. I will also be thankful to see them again. There is no greater friend to me than you."

"I hope to always be that kind of friend to you, my soon to be queen."

"You are right. I hate the formality as much as you, but being queen is connected to why I asked you to come into my private room. I know that you did for me and my family out of friendship, and expect no reward. You may think that what I am to say next might be considered a reward. However, what you did is symbolic of why I am requesting this. There are other reasons. I need peace and would ask you this for my kingdom even if I didn't need you as a woman needs her man."

He started to speak. I held my hand up.

"When I was still male we considered each other best friends. Your family has always had a warm spot for mine and vise versa. I always felt that you and your family consider us as equals despite the differences in our station. Part of our conversation earlier today indicates that it is still so. I also noted that your rule over your lands always had a feeling of caring for your people. Letting the poor slide with their taxes is just one example of your compassion. You have always shown loyalty to our country as that scar on your face testifies to."

"You made sure that it was only be a scar and not a death blow."

"Thank you. You are making this harder for me."

"Sorry, Maxi. Please don't ask me to marry you. It is my job to ask you. I have a yearning for you since I've arrived here and saw you today. I need you now and forever. I believe that you are mine as much as I am yours." He went onto the floor and grabbed my hands with his. "I'm not asking you for the title of King. That is less important to me than you. Please consent to be my wife."

"As I was saying, while I have been telling you what I have, I consider you very handsome. Your presence even makes me have needs that I, as a woman, believe that only you as a man could satisfy. I need someone who can share my throne and its responsibilities. What I am saying in too many words and fumbling over is yes, I will marry you. You will be my husband, and you will be king and share the throne with me."

That was the worst acceptance of marriage I ever heard. Fear does that to you sometimes. But why should I fear the one I love? Kurt got himself and me up and we kissed. As he pulled me toward him, I felt myself wanting him to take me. His movements and his growth below made me think that he wanted to. We both knew that this was not the time or place. With our passions temporally on simmer we disengaged and I grabbed his arm as we walked out of my room. We entered the Great Hall where many of the visiting gentry and peasants were assembled. They all bowed.

"Ladies and gentlemen," I announced as I continued to hold onto his arm. "I wish to introduce you to my future husband and your future king, Kurt, Count von Mandenburg."

The applause lasted an hour.

Note: Again, this is a remake of "Princess Hope" by Sarah Barndt.
I thank her for permission to rework the story.

References:

Psalms: 34 Shun evil and do good; Seek peace and pursue it.

Song of Songs: 1) the watchman dream. 2) the 2 reference to "my beloved is mine and I am my beloved's

Esther: If I die I die.

As You Like It: all the world's a stage

Taming of the Shrew: especially the Elizabeth Taylor movie: the wall fight as reminiscent of Taylor's attempt to reject marriage

Lion in Winter: movie quote: "Not yet, you're not!"

Man of All Seasons: movie quote: "Will someone rid me of this meddlesome priest?"

Forever After: 1) "I was told you needed help. It seems that I am mistaken." 2) both Princess Anna and the character played by Barrymore were strong women that still were able to love her man

Farscape: Criten, Crichen

The Procrustean Petard: "I am princess of the realm about to be queen. If I can't do this I shouldn't be queen." Kurt said something similar about her (right sex at this time in the story) ability to command.

Rocky Raccoon: "I see you met your match" "Doc it's only a scratch"

Trial of the century: referring to Nuremberg the massacre at Puhl. Unfortunately there has been too many needs for etceteras both before and after. As I sent this, Borneo was occurring.

Author: David whose name means beloved lived 3000 years ago.

Sayings: Common
1) Tell him you fell down the stairs.
2) The die is cast. The cast is drawn.
3) House of cards.

Fractured
1) His bite is worse than his bark.
2) Flattery will get you everywhere.

Wild Seed/Mind of My Mind: the fact that Puhl were descendents.

Chutzpah: unmitigated gaul. It is said that a person has chutzpah if he kills his mother and father and then throws himself at the mercy of the court because he is an orphan.

Song: Kisses Sweater Than Wine.

Paper Moon: When Hollywood makes a major movie it makes at least 2 versions. In Paper Moon you are not sure if the character played by Tatium O'Neil is the daughter of the character played by Ryan O'Neil. In one version she is, the other she isn't. This is true as far as is she the true princess with both "Princess Hope" and "Hiding in Plain Sight."

Hospital

by shalimar

I went to the hospital because I’m a diabetic and my toe had an infection. They admitted me to a double bed room and told me they would need to remove the toe. Charles, my roommate, was in for pain in the abdomen. Although he had been in the hospital for a week the doctors still didn’t know its cause.

“Maybe you’re pregnant,” I kidded.

He gave me a chuckle before we talked on other subjects.

Just before I had my operation the next day chuck came back from another test.

“How did you know?” he asked. “Somehow I AM pregnant.”

“What are you going to do?”

”Keep it. They say I can bring it to term and then have a c-sect.”

“Congratulations,” I said just before the nurse gave me my pre-anesthesia shot.

Incident with a Baby

by shalimar

An incident between a Transwoman and a Baby

This past Friday night we had a Kaballat Shabbat service followed by dinner. Because of my dietary needs that involve allergies some of the other women cooked for me special. After the Kiddush and blessing over the bread I got up to get a small drink and retrieve my special food.

On the way I met a man holding his daughter. She was cute in her pajamas.

“Hello, little one,” I said to this baby. “What is your name?”

“Rachel,” replied the father.

“How old are you?”

“Eight months.”

She started to cry.

“What is wrong, little one?” I asked.

“She is tired.”

“You are fighting sleep?” I asked.

She gave me a frown that was threatening to become a cry.

“I’ll sing to you,” I told her. “Would that help?”

“She likes singing.”

I sang “Summertime” from Porgy and Bess. That kept her quiet for about two minutes. When I stopped she threatened to cry again. I stated to talk to her again and she stuck out her hand.

“I’ll take you, if daddy lets me.” I replied.

He gave her to me. As I rocked her I stated to hum “Erev Shel Shoshaneem,” “Evening of the Roses,” an Israeli love song that has a soothing melody.

I must have hummed that song a dozen times. She eventually fell asleep. With the help of her father and mother I put her in her stroller. The parents thanked me and I started to walk away. There were tears in my eyes. They were flowing by the time I sat down at my chair. A few of the other women whom I am closer to came over to me and asked me what was wrong.

“This is the first time I held a child this small in decades.”

“You miss that,” Esther explained.

I nodded my head and blew my nose, “It hurts, but there is more. A baby that small or a woman pregnant, hurts.”

Miriam, who is beginning to show, gave a gasp and held her hand to her mouth. I held her hand.

“I am still happy for you. My pain and jealousy is usually under control, but please understand that because I am a transwoman I have never nor will ever experience the joys of giving birth.”

That brought Deborah to tears. She needed to have a hysterectomy about a year ago because of a major complication with her pregnancy that threatened her life.

I held her, “I know how you feel. You are one of the few women here who truly understands. You know, there is one good thing about me asking Hashem to make me a mother. He did grant my request. However, He granted it under the rules He made for this universe. I now have dozens of virtual daughters from Britain and Spain through North America to Australia, even a grandchild or two, and I love them all.

In the morning I woke up hugging my second pillow.

Irony

by

shalimar

A TS talks to her ex-wife about the TS's husband.

"Come in. It's open!" I said when I heard the doorbell.

My ex-wife entered and walked over to where I was sitting on the couch. My feet were under me on the couch and I was just sitting there, bleary eyes.

"Hi, Roberta, thanks for coming."

"You've been crying, Alice," she said as she sat by me. "What's going on?"

"This is weird. John wants to be a woman."

"Oh, shit."

"Yes, he told me he is going to the doctor I use on Wednesday and will start to transition."

"How do you feel?"

"Part of me needs to support him and help him through this."

"And?"

"I'm asking myself IF I am woman enough for him."

I saw her have a brief smile. Then the concern and love Roberta always had for me returned.

"Yes, I know," I continued. "You felt the same towards me. If anyone could have kept me male, you nearly did. But it is a deep seated need that even your love for me and my love for you and our children couldn't stop."

Roberta was crying now. We hugged each other.

"I didn't know how much I hurt you until today, yet you were always there for me. Thank you."

Just Like Magic

by shalimar

She put on the slinky black dress she had bought earlier in the day after he told her that they were going to a fancy place for dinner. It seemed that all her sacrifices: the years of therapy, the hormones, the loss of some of her family when she told them, and finally the operation were coming to a happy ending. It would be symbolized by what she suspected he would do that night, but she kept her hopes in check as she finished getting ready for her date with him. Was it really only two weeks before she told him she was born with male parts?

When he rang her doorbell she was almost ready. She hurried out and opened the door where she put her arms around his neck and he put his around her waist as they kissed. She moved her body into his that created a small urgency for both of them. He hoped they would be able to complete that need later that night, but she knew they would because she had decided to share her body with him no matter what the reason for the fancy restaurant was.

“I’ll be right back,” she said after they broke the kiss. “I still have a few things to do before I’m ready.”

“Just like a woman,” he teased. “Never on time.”

She smiled at that remark, remembering her father saying those exact words. A few minutes later her mother would come out looking so beautiful. Those times she wanted to be just a pretty as her mother, but they only saw the boy. Now as she looked in the mirror she noticed how much she looked like her mother at the same age.

After getting over the shock, her mother finally accepted her as the young woman she had become. They often met and did different things, but never at her parents’ home because her father was too much a man to see her as a girl. He never forgave her for what she did. It still hurt her years later.

He took her to Tracy’s an elegant restaurant in the business district with chandeliers over the areas between the tables. A man in a tuxedo was playing a piano. Later a small band would create a dance atmosphere.

As they waited a few minutes for their table they talked about what they had done recently. He ordered a wine before they ordered dinner. In one of the glasses was an odd object. She looked at it before realizing what it was, an engagement ring. She fished it out before the wine was poured.

“Well?” he asked.

“It’s pretty.”

“You know what I mean or do you want me to go down on one knee?”

“If you wish,” she replied as her tears flowed. “But the answer will be the same.”

He went down on one knee and asked, “Will you marry me?”

“Of course I will,” she answered as her hand urged him to get up. “Now hug me and kiss me before I ruin my makeup.”

He got up, slipped the ring on her finger then kissed her. As she kissed back they heard some “aww”s around them. When they ate and danced they talked about where and when they wanted to get married. Near the end of the evening she took off her shoe and moved her foot up his leg. His smile acknowledged her intention.

They walked from the restaurant to the car snuggling close to enjoy the warmth of each other’s body on that cool night. After helping her into the car he drove to her place. At the red lights they kissed. More than once they broke the kiss because the driver behind them honked.

When they arrived he was able to park in front of her home. He got out of the car and held his had to help her get out. When she stood up they kissed. The walked arms around each other’s waist for half the distance. The other half they held hands.

“We must have had similar thoughts about tonight because I was planning to share my body with you before we went to the restaurant,” she told him as she took out the key for her front door. “It just seemed the right time.”

He pulled her close, kissed her on the neck and rubbed her tummy as she tried to put the key in the door.

“Wait until we get inside,” she told him as her body moved him off. “I don’t want the neighbors to see.”

G_d she really needed him to continue.

“Will they hear?”

“I hope so,” she said as she opened the door.

They entered and gave each other a hug. As he hugging her he pulled her zipper down and her dress fell off leaving her wearing just her slip. She responded by wrapping her leg around his then taking off his tie and jacket which soon joined her dress on the floor. She then put her hand in his and led him to her bedroom as they both smiled. On the way to the bedroom she kicked off her pumps.

Just as they entered the room he pulled her towards him and they hungrily kissed each other ash he played with her breasts. They fell onto the bed before taking each other’s clothes off. She played with his chest hairs and he explored every curve she had.

He put her on her back a little rough but she liked it and encouraged him by playing with his rod. He expertly played with her where she needed him to: her lips, her neck, her breasts, her abdomen, her inner thighs and finally her vaginal lips. As his fingers went deeper and hit that special spot she had an absolute need for him to enter her.

Just when she felt she couldn’t take it anymore he entered her and she verbalized a small, “Oooh” before putting her arms around his back and her legs around his. As he pulled out that first time she instinctively tightened her inner thigh muscles to milk his penis.

She whispered, “Oooh yes,” on his second stroke.

Her “yes’s” grew louder and her milking grew stronger as he stroked deeper harder and faster. She was practically screaming in his ear. He came with a final rocking and warm explosion that filled her cavity putting her over the edge of her own shudder and waves of pleasure.

He lay on top of her as his penis gradually got smaller and they gulped for air. After their sexual high he kissed her starting from her lips and going down her body. She responded with her own kisses and hugs. They smiled as they felt the love between them. Finally he was out of her and rolled over although she tried to keep him on.

She kissed him then got out of bed and cleaned herself up before returning and discovering he was asleep. She lifted the covers and snuggled into to him waking him for a moment. He hugged her and kissed her before going back to sleep taking her with him to dreamland. The next morning as they ate breakfast they both realized that night had been just like magic.

I thank Holly Logan for her editing of this short story.

Kadash

by shalimar

Yit’gadal: I am standing saying the prayer, Kadash because they died. Earlier this month I did it in honor of Becky. As a person she was a light as bright as a supernova. She was one of the main reasons there is an Evil Witch Family. In the family she was my niece, the daughter of Jenna Hitch, and the sister of Cathleen. Although she was physically a lot older, to us she was eight. And like most eight-year-olds she sparkled with her exuberance. But like a supernova she burnt out quickly, succumbing to cancer six years ago.

Yit’gadash: Two weeks ago it was Mother’s Day. As the Evil Witch I was blessed by G_d to have many daughters, Maggie, Baruchah, Ally, Michelle, Amelia, Amanda, Rachel, Steffie, and, fortunately, including being a grandmother, many others. However, last Transgender Day of Remembrance (2008) I read a name. One of my babies. She had been murdered on the previous Transgender Day of Remembrance. The man who probably strangled her claimed it was an accident. He said her scarf got caught. He got away with it.

Sh’may ramah: Why am I standing? For Kimmy Elizabeth, one of my sisters and the mother of Piper. She died just hours after the end of Shavoot, the Festival of Weeks. She needed a heart transplant. If only someone had signed a donor card.

…B’alma dey v’ra: She also didn’t lead a happy life. Most of us that are transsexual are like that. Some of us, like her and me, can rise up above the pain and sorrow of being in the wrong sex. Some of us can’t. So we end up in psychiatric institutions or as suicides.

Kir’ootay: I am also standing for Darla Raspberry who died within hours of Kimmy. She needed a liver transplant. Is there any wonder that I am adamant about making sure that donor card is completed?

Y’hay sh’may raba: I am grateful to G_d for knowing them. Although it was too brief they loved me and allowed me to love them.

And let us say, amen.

Kukla

by shalimar

Notes: This story contains violence including murder in the form of genocide. If for some reason you shouldn't read this including, but not limited to emotional, legal or age restrictions, don't read this story. I had great emotional difficulty writing this story, but I had to get this monkey off my back. You may have the same emotional problem reading this story. If you do, stop and either continue later or don't finish it. What I just said is NOT a challenge. The Babi Yar massacre, the main event in this story, occurred on September 29, 1941. That is the reason for the post date. The First Lady throwing the memorial wreath into the ravine actually happened. I don't remember if it was Hillary Clinton or Barbara Bush. If I'm wrong with the First Lady, Hillary fits this story because she was born after Babi Yar.

Kukla means doll in Russian.

"Bill, hold me. I have never needed you more than now. I don't care what happens when we get back home. I need you now. You can even have that Mona or Monique or whatever that bimbo's name is when we get back to the States. I won't care. Right now I need you to hold me."

Bill put his arms around me and held me tenderly. It was something that I had not felt from him in years, and I missed it. He thinks that being the president of the United States gives him the right to have sex with every girl he comes in contact with. I don’t think he realized how much he hurt me with his antics. He deserves to sleep on the couch, or should I just move out and take Chelsea with me? But right now, because of what I just experienced, I needed him very badly, and I appreciate his tenderness, now. I also needed to talk.

"I was here before," I told him. "Back in '41. I was a young boy then:

"Why?" I asked mama a few days ago. "Why do we have to leave the city?"

"Because the Germans ordered it," mama told me. "Their order said that any
Jew left in the city would be shot."

"I don't like it," I said. "I have this bad feeling. Let's leave before.
Go to the country and hide out there."

"We'll be fine."

"But it will be two days before Yom Kippur!" I pointed out.

"We'll fast someplace else," she told me trying to reassure me.

"But why us?"

"The notice said it is for our safety," she said.

"Then why isn't the rest of the city going?" I asked.

"I don't know," mama said wringing her hands.

"It is not right, mama," I continued.

"I don't know," she said, hiding tears from me. "I don't know."

"If papa were here I KNOW he would listen to me!"

"IVAN!"

I knew I had upset my mother. Normally, she doesn't deserve this from me, but I had this ominous feeling that something was wrong with the German orders. I missed my father, but he was trying to fight this Hun invasion. Papa, with his unit, had pulled back near the city of Stalingrad. They would try to defend the motherland there. I wish I was old enough to fight also. I would rather have Uncle Joe than these monsters.

It was still early morning when mama got me out of bed. We had to get to the train station by 8:00 AM. It was near the cemetery. My father's family had used this cemetery for generations. I got dressed in my white shirt, black pants, cap and shoes. I washed my hands and face. I then said the prayers that my father insisted I say each morning before we had breakfast. Papa said it was a protest of that bastard, Stalin. Little Tasha came down after mama had dressed her. She was falling asleep holding her doll to her chest. My sister was all of five at the time. In her gray dress she looked like she was dressed for school. She should be going to school with me this morning instead of us relocating.

"I see you have Kukla," I told Natasha. "Is she coming too?"

Tasha could only nod her sleepy head as she clutched her favorite doll.

We ate breakfast in silence. We were leaving what had been our home for over 100 years. I saw tears in mama's eyes as she looked around the house. My Uncle Shyer had made sure that we kept the house after the revolution. It helped that he was the head of the party in this part of Kiev. At least it helped until the Germans came. Now we were becoming non-citizens. This is part of why I had this ominous feeling.

When we arrived at the train station there was confusion everywhere. Friends were saying goodbye to friends. People were moving past the temporary curtain that separated the station from the adjoining street. German soldiers were stationed every two meters. We were told by the soldiers to go through an opening in the curtain. When we went through the curtain we were told to put our luggage on the side and that our luggage would be coming to us at our new location. I was worried. How would the luggage get to us? Where was the train? People kept on coming in, but the station didn't fill up. Something was horribly wrong. One soldier on the inside of the curtain noticed Kukla. He told us that the doll had to stay with our other supplies. I pretended to put down the doll on our luggage, but instead hid it under my shirt. Tasha saw it and tried to take it from me, but I stopped her before she made a commotion.

"Shush," I whispered to Tasha. "I'll give it to you in a few minutes when it's safe for Kukla."

"Promise, Ivan?" she innocently asked.

"I promise," I told her as I tweaked her nose.

"Stop that," she pouted.

It was then that I was able to see what was happening. Some solders were marching a group of people towards the East along the road that led out of Kiev. At the beginning of the line was Rabbi Meyer. The soldiers were pulling him by the hair of his chin. Once he stumbled and fell. A soldier kicked him. The other soldiers laughed at the rabbi's plight. Another soldier roughly picked him up and pushed him. Then they shaved his beard and cut his side locks. They acted as if HE was a common criminal. Why? What did he do to deserve this fate? The Germans were acting like bullies. I was getting angrier by the second, but what could a ten-year-old boy do against an army out for blood? When I realized the "out for blood" idea I got that foreboding feeling again.

Ahead of one of the next group of people was Uncle Shyer. The proud party leader was being dragged by solders in a truck with a rope around his neck and his hands tied behind his back. I prayed that he would not fall, as he had to run to keep the rope from hanging him.

Then we were put on a line by soldiers that marched us out of town towards the East. A cold wind was coming from Russia. Even my fur-lined leather jacket, a gift from Uncle Shyer, was useless in the early morning wind. We marched for a few kilometers until we got just outside of Kiev where we entered a forested area. As we entered the forest I heard gunfire, MACHINE GUN FIRE. The others people in my group appeared to be just as frightened as me. The machine gun fire made Tasha cry. I picked her up and let her look around. She clutched Kukla to her chest and put her thumb in her mouth as she leaned her sleepy head on my shoulder. Our group stopped near a ravine I had played in with friends less than a month before. The locals call it Babi Yar.

After a few minutes we walked for a hundred meters more. I had a plan to save my sister. Better she live than none of us.

I whispered in her ear, "I am going to put you down. Then I am going to make a commotion. Look at me. When the soldiers are all looking at me I will give you this signal. When you see it run in the forest and hide. Pretend you are playing 'hide and seek,' but don't let the soldiers capture you. Take Kukla with you. When it is safe, get away from this place and find someone to take care of you. Whatever you do, stay away from the soldiers."

"Come with me, Ivan," Tasha pleaded.

"I can't," I replied. "If I do, you won't be able to escape. Run away from the people here and the gunfire. And don't go back to Kiev. Never forget what happened here today. When you can, tell what you saw today. You'll know when. Promise me that, Natasha."

"Promise, Ivan," Tasha said.

"When you don't need Kukla any more, return her to me. You'll know what I mean."

"When?" she asked.

"When you're older. I love you."

She gave me a hug. I needed that from her then.

"Be a good girl, and make it," I told her. Please G_d, let her make it.

I put her down and told her to go to the other side of the line. I then stepped out of the line and stopped.

"We're going to get killed!" I began shouting as I looked around.

"Shut up, you stupid child! Get in Line!" the soldier nearest me demanded.

I looked around. All the solders were looking at me. I gave my sister the signal and she ran into the woods.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I said so," the soldier said getting angry.

I saw Tasha was well hidden.

I said to the soldier, "What are you going to do? Kill me? You don't have the guts."

He hit my cheek with the butt of his rifle. I lost a tooth. I picked up the tooth and smiled at the soldier as I got back in line. If he only knew why I thought I had won. Tasha had made it into the woods undetected. I got back in line as we continued towards the machineigun fire. I was getting nervous, but the thought of my sister's escape gave me courage. I knew I had to devise a plan to save myself. I just had no idea what I could do.

While I was thinking, the Germans told us to stop. There was another group just ahead of us getting undressed. In this weather? Then as I expected, the solders told us to strip. I would be doing this in front of girls. Some of the girls were crying. They were as embarrassed and afraid as I was. But, what could I do? I did not have super powers. I was not Superman, Frankenstein or der Golem. Even "Uncle Joe" was trying to defend the motherland back in Moscow. Maybe those lazy Americans would get into this war, but it would be too late for me. If I attacked the German solders, I would be dead in seconds. I had to do something else.

After we got undressed, the Germans made us walk along a ridge in the ravine.
When we walked about 100 meters I saw bodies below our ridge. There were hundreds of bodies. Across the ravine I notice the solders were reloading a machine gun. I knew when they were finished loading they would be shooting at us. I thought that maybe if I jumped into the pit before the bullets came near I would survive. I was never so scared in my life.

I heard the machine gun fire begin while I saw the bodies fall ahead of me. I jumped. As I was falling I felt a bullet explode in my brain just above my right eye. I lost consciousness.

"I awoke as a newborn baby in my new mother's arms. I looked at that angel and smiled, at least as well as anyone that small could smile. I didn't remember any of what I told you, Bill, until I spoke to that survivor through the translator. She spoke to me just after I threw that memorial wreath into the ravine."

"Her name is Mrs. Nahama Goldman, formally Natasha Pressman. As she told me how her brother saved her by having her run into the forest near here the memories came back to me. She told me that she wandered through the forest avoiding the solders until about midnight. Under the moonlight of a gibbous moon she went across a farm field until she found the houses of a collective farm. She knocked on one of the doors. The old couple that opened the door for her saw a tired, hungry, dirty little girl clutching her doll and telling them an incredible story of people getting killed. At the time they thought it was just a little girl's nightmare. The old couple couldn't believe that the Germans could be that savage. They told her they would none the less protect her until she found her family. Fortunately, the old man was the head of the collective farm. He continued to lead the collective farm under the Germans because of his age. This old couple, at the risk of their lives, told everyone at the farm Natasha was their granddaughter who was staying with them while there was fighting in the East. The granddaughter's story satisfied the German authorities."

"After the Red Army passed the farm in December, 1943 Natasha tried to find her parents and brother. She was told her father disappeared with his unit outside Stalingrad during the battle for the city. The authorities presumed he was dead. Continued searches for her mother and brother turned up nothing. Uncle Shyer was her mother's brother. Natasha couldn't even start to find him because she didn't know her mother's maiden name."

"As she promised her brother, she bore witness against the soldiers that did the killing and survived the war. She always held her doll close to her on the witness stand as if the doll could protect her. Natasha was an effective witness because she was between ten and twelve at those trials. At one trial, she was able to point out the soldier that had knocked out Ivan's tooth. She saw him hang. She wasn't satisfied, just relieved as if a burden was removed from her."

After the war, Natasha escaped to the West and ended in a displaced people camp. From there she went to Israel where she fought in the War of Independence. A few years later she met Meyer Goldman. They had four children and twelve grandchildren. She came back with her tattered doll to Babi Yar to fulfill the promise to her brother. She was going to throw that doll into the ravine until she saw me. Instead, she handed me the doll and said to me, 'I kept my promise, Ivan.' Then Nahama hugged me and kissed me as tears rolled down my cheeks."

I buried my head in Bill's chest as he put his arms around me. I clutched Kukla and cried as the limousine drove us back to the U. S. embassy.

In memory of the 'other' 5,000,000.

Lucky Shot

by shalimar

copyright 1968, 1990, 2001, 2007

A soldier lost less and more than he expected.

Suddenly shots came from every direction as the troop was on patrol in the jungle. Everyone in the troop took cover and returned fire.

"Medic! I've been hit!" shouted one of the soldiers.

With his medical kit the medic bravely dove toward his wounded comrade.

"Where?" asked the medic.

"In my leg. Damn it hurts."

The medic quickly took gauze from his bag and bound up the wound enough that his friend would not bleed to death. He then attached an IV bottle to the wounded soldier. He stayed with his friend until the shooting stopped. Seeing that his wounded comrade was in pain he gave his friend some morphine. Finally, after the shooting stopped, the medic was able to call in a helicopter.

As the wounded soldier was being lifted to the helicopter he complained, "My leg, it hurts!"

It was a short helicopter ride to the MASH unit where the soldier was triaged and finally brought into the operating room.

"What ever you do doc," demanded the soldier as the doctor put him under the anesthetic. "Save my leg."

A few hours later as the soldier was groggily coming out of the operation’s anesthesia he noted that he felt that something was missing down below. Slowly opening his eyes he discovered the operating doctor studying his chart.

"Did you have to cut off my leg, Doc?" asked the soldier.

The doctor looked up from the chart and said, "You never had a problem with your leg, miss."

***
This story is the opposite of one I heard during the Vietnam War.

Happy Armistice/Veteran's Day

Maggie's Winter Vaction

Bees five-years-old is fun. Eben kindergarten is fun. We draw an paint an listen to stories an play wid puzzies an we is learning our alphybet. Da bestest time in school is recess! We kin pay jacks or jump rope or pay wid our dolls or maybe talk a boy ta push me on da swing. The bestest is dat wes kin talk and me and my twin, Brucella talk to eberybody an eben to each odder.

At the end of da day mommy always picks me an Baruchah ups and she drives us da mile to ours home. On a really cold day mommy wears a big brown sweater in da house. Dat big brown sweater goes down to her knees and has big sleeves dat you kin put your head in. She says she wears it ‘cause she gets cold. She says dat she finded eberyting in dat sweater an I sees her take threads an leaves out o’ it all da time.

It was winter vacation an it snowed da night before. Snow pretty ‘til Daddy plow driveway. We pay outshide but not long ‘cause it be really, really cold out der. We make snow angles, but no make snowballs and no make snowman ‘cause snow is powerda.

Whens we was outs Ally says her boyfriend nots comes dat day. Ally is one of my bigh sisters. Her boyfriend is Niel. Ally is sad. Day before Neil helped Daddy put plow on front of car. Dis morning Daddy plowed driveway and mommy swepted snow off steps.

Den Daddy maded a fire in da bigh ol’ fireplace. Mommy and Daddy says dat it is a really really old fashioned firesplace ‘cause they can cook in it. Daddy saided dat da house is from da revolushunairy war. I nos remember no wars. Daddy saided dat George Washington slepted in our house. I nos remembers no George. Mommy and Daddy saided we’s needs bigh house ‘cause of me an all my sisters. Some of da bigger ones have der boyfriends der, too. Oops! Not ‘pose ta say dat.

Mommy was wearing dat big ol brown sweater an sitting on da chair by da fireplace. Dere ‘twas a pot boiling in dat firesplace. Da cats an dogs were lying by da fireplace ‘cause it is warm der.

When sun goed down Mommy says, “time to light da candles!” We lights da Chanukah lights and says da prayers and me and Brucella light da candles. Wes look at it for a while den mommy in her big ol’ brown sweater goes to her big ol chair near da fireplace an me an Baruchah snuggles like sides Mommy when Mommy says, “Ders a duck in da sweater.”

Me and Brucella looks in da sweater an no duck. Den wes hear “Quack” and den da duck camed out da sleeve. It walk’ed to da fireplace, flaps its wings and sits in front of da fireplace. Baruchah try ta pet it but it walk’ed away.

Den Mommy says, “ders a ship* in da sweater.”

Wes look in da sweater and no ship. We hears a “baa” an den a baby ship comes out o’ dat old sweater. It, too, goed to da fireplace, but not too close. Maybe ‘cause its wearing its wooly coat. I goes and petted da baby ship.

Den Mommy says, “ders an eleephant in da sweater.”

We’s looks and no eleephant. Den wes hears an elephant call. Sure ‘nuff an eleephant comes out of Mommy’s sweater. It is a small one. Da size of our Germans shiperd, Fritz! It goes to da fireplace. Baruchah goes and pets da eleephant.

Den Mommy says, ders a rackety coon in da sweater.”

Wes looks and no rackety coon. Den wes hears the “chit chit” of dat rackety coon and a baby rackety coon comes out of dat sweater and sits by da fireplace.

Rackety coon says, “chit chit.” rights ats Fritz.

Fritz says, “wolf.”

Mommy says, “No more animals!”

Mommy gets up an takes two cups from above da fireplace and pours da liquid from the pot into dose cups an gives to me an Brucella. Me an Brucella knows what it is ‘fore she brings it to us’es. HOT CHOCOLATE!

Mommy sited back in dat big ol’ chair and me an Baruchah sunggles under da sweater sippin’ ours hot chocolate. Den my bigh sister, Stephie, comes and snuggles wid me an Baruchah an mommy.

Den my bigher sister, Rachie, comes and says, “Ma you letting evebry ting in your sweater again?”

“Yep,” my mommy says.

Bigh sister Rachie is old. Wes habs nieces dat are mommies from her.

Dats my winters vacation.

Maggie

* a “ship” is a sheep

Penn Station

by shalimar

I took the Long Island Rail Road into Woodside then took the number seven train into Grand Central Station where I met Baruchah for the first time. In real life she was a nineteen-year-old male student who needed to transition but has not tried yet. In her mind and mine, Baruchah Miriam is one of my five-year-old twins. I went to the information booth and found out what track the train would be coming on. I wore my “Panama” hat and a kiwi colored peasant skirt so she could easily recognize me.

“But you don’t like wearing hats in the chat room,” Baruchah had told me when we discussed the meeting.

“I will be wearing a hat that day,”when we meet,” I explained to her. “That hat and some winter gloves are the only things I still have that are officially male.”

I waited about five minutes and was rewarded with finding her relatively quickly. We hugged and cried when we finally met. We actually met months ago in a chat room, and we’d immediately connected, as I, quickly I became her mother. But we had little time to relax at Grand Central because we needed to meet her twin at Penn Station, and that meant going cross-town and south ten blocks during the end of the rush hour. As it was a nice spring day we decided to walk. During our constitutional, which took about fifteen minutes, I held my “little one’s” hand as we did and we occasionally cuddled, cuddled especially at the red lights.

Margaret Baruchah, her twin, arrived on the Amtrak level about ten minutes after we arrived in the crowded station. In real life she is about thirty-five and tall, with flaming red hair, but to her and to me, she is still five. I gave her the middle name of Baruchah, which is, in Hebrew, the feminine form of blessed. Both of us are male to female transsexuals in transition. As I’ve known Maggie for years, it is from her name that her twin, Baruchah Miriam received hers.

When the train arrived, I had Maggie paged to make sure we found each other. I also had a sign with a crayon picture of “Mama Shelly & Baruchah” that Maggie had made for me months before. She is also called Kitten because inside she is a human kitten. In fact, I consider them both my kittens.

The three of us hugged when we finally met Maggie with all of us were crying.

“I loves you,” Maggie told Baruchah and me.

“I know,” I replied. “I love you both with all my heart.”

“Me, too,” added Baruchah.

We stayed that way for a long time. It was the nicest eternity I had ever experienced and I knew that Baruchah and Maggie felt the same. I felt a need then and there to take them home and care for my five-year-olds, but we had plans, and tickets to see “The Lion King” on Broadway. So we went downstairs to the Long Island Railroad level and started walking towards the Seventh Avenue subway that would take us uptown the few blocks to where the play was to be performed.

Just before the token booth, I stopped and held the kids back. In front of me where the tunnel to Sixth Avenue used to be, was a store. Not just any store, but Spells R Us, THE Spells R Us.

Not believing what I was seeing I asked both of them, ”Do you see what I see?”

“I hope so,” Baruchah replied. “Let’s investigate.”

“We have time,” I added.

“I’ve got to know if this is real,” remarked Maggie.

When we walked into the store, we saw the junk lying on the tables and counters just as it had been described in many of the stories. It seemed like dust, which made me cough, was everywhere. Then I spied the old man in the back wearing his “bathrobe.” What did you expect, something by Armani?

“Pardon me,” said the old man. “Danni and I haven’t had a chance to clean up this morning. And, yes, I do have a few Armani originals.”

“I never thought I would ever meet you,” Maggie said.

“Neither did I,” I said breathlessly.

“Baruchah, Maggie, and Shelly, I’ve been keeping an eye on you for a while now,” he replied. “And I know you three need each other.”

“Very much,” I replied, as my eyes became wet.

“She will be my mommy for real?” asked Baruchah.

“Yes she will if you both want it,” the wizard said. “And Maggie, you may join, too.”

“What do you have in mind?” I continued.

“I have here, the Mirror of Change,” he explained as he ushered us towards the back of the store. “I recently acquired it, and can let it go for a mere twenty bucks. I hope that’s not too much for you.”

”Sold,” I didn’t even hesitate. “I can pay you cash, but I’d rather use a credit card. I may need the cash for us later today.”

“Twenty-five with the card.”

“No problem.”

“Plus sales tax, of course,” he added. “You know that the tax is steep in this city.”

“You are allowed to make a profit. How does it work?”

“Stand in front of the mirror and look in it.”

PennStationPic1.jpg (15.8 KB)

I followed his instructions and looked in the mirror. In the reflection was the young woman I have always been in my mind. Although the mirror is six feet tall and I was 5’ 9, it looked to me as if the top of the mirror was about eight inches higher than me in the mirror. My reflection was wearing a mint halter-top and the same kiwi skirt I had on. On my feet were green tennyrunners. Instead of my mousy brown hair, my hair seem to have all the possible colors a human can have, from red to orange through blonde and platinum to browns and raven, and all the colors in between, including chocolate, with blending that made the hair look like it had highlights instead of streaks. The curls and waves were also breast length, instead of the shoulder length I’d come in with. My eye shadow had various greens blended, which complimented my hazel Mongolian slanted eyes and high Oriental cheekbones.

And standing next to me in the mirror were two cute five-year-olds that I knew were Baruchah and Maggie. Baruchah was wearing hot pink shorts, a white Ariel t-shirt and sandals. Her true red, wavy hair went down to the small of her back in braided pigtails. Her Mongolian slanted eyes were hazel, like mine.

Maggie had wavy auburn hair that cascaded down to what will be her breasts in a few years. Her shorts were white and her “Grlls Rule” t-shirt was lavender, the same color as her sneakers. Her slanted eyes were a bright Kelly green.

I looked to one side and the 6’ 3” Maggie T-girl that I came into the store with was still standing next to me. I looked to the other and Baruchah was the same 5’ 9” male that walked with me to Penn Station.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” I asked them.

“I hope so,” Maggie replied. “I wants it, Mommy. I wants it weel bad.”

“ME TOO!” added Baruchah. “ME TOO!”

“Do you see what is around our necks?” I asked.

“Yeah, I see them,” Maggie said. “It gotta be real.”

“What are you looking at?” asked Baruchah.

“The necklaces,” I replied.

“They’re ‘Mommy and Me’ necklaces,” added Maggie.

“The hole in the one I’m wearing, represents each of you two,” I explained to Baruchah.

“And each of the ones we’re wearing fit in that hole,” Maggie added. “I gave Mama those necklaces, so that when she finally got her powers she would put them around our necks.”

“Because you will always be in my heart,” I told Baruchah, then turning to the SRU proprietor, “Ah, Mr. Wiz, what do we do now?”

”Just close your eyes and wish that what you see will be that way,” he replied.

Before we followed his instructions we held hands. A few seconds later I felt two tiny hands holding mine, instead of the big ones they started with. I opened my eyes and smiled at the grinning little girls that once had been only my virtual daughters. Then they put up their hands in the classic method that said to mothers all over the world, “Pick me up.” I lifted them and kissed them all over their faces, leaving lipstick marks on both of them.

“Don’t cry, mommy!” my little redhead pleaded.

“Happy tears, Baruchah.”

Still holding my babies, I turned to the wizard as my skirt flared out and asked, “Could you bring the mirror to Jenna and Cathy?”

“Well,” he responded.

“PEAS!” Maggie begged. “I needs my udder paymates and dey need dis too.”

“Ok,” he replied. “I guess I am a softy for little kids.”

“Just tell them to meet us at FAO Schwartz. We’ll make a day of it by going to the Central Park Playground and Zoo.”

“Then tomorrow you will be working as the Evil Witch?” he asked.

“We get that too?” I asked, surprised. “To be able to heal others? How can I ever thank you? And add some more to that credit card bill. I need Kimmie and her kids and KimEm and Piper and Prudence and Sarah also.”

“AN ALLY!” exclaimed Maggie.

“AN STEPHIE!” added Baruchah.

“And Kay,” I said softly. “And make sure you tell everyone that it is voluntary, especially Stephie. They may ask you to add others. Just add it to my bill and tell the last one to give me the final total.”

“What about Holly?” he asked.

“You are keeping up with us,” I noted. “And she can have Heather Rose as her daughter if they wish.”

Then I kissed him. Baruchah and Maggie followed my example making me proud. After the wizard magically opened the door back outside, I put my munchkins down and held their hands.

“Kids, do you want to go to FAO Schwartz?” I asked as I did a deep knee bend to put me at their level. “That’s a BIG toy store.”

“YEAH!!!!!!!” they shouted

“It means not going to see the ‘Lion King’ today.”

“Anudder time?” asked Baruchah.

“Yes, sweetie, another time,” I replied.

“Soon?” asked Maggie.

“As soon as we can make arrangements,” I replied. “Maybe we could take your entire nursery school.”

“I likes dat, Mommy,” Baruchah agreed.

“Could you both give mommy a hug?”

After the hug I asked them, “Now, how are we going to get to that toy store? Do you want to go by train, by bus or by Taxi?”

“Bus, mommy,” said Baruchah. “I wanta see da city.”

“Yeah,”

At the token booth I bought a subway pass to travel on the bus then we climbed the stairs to the street and walked to the corner of 32nd street and turned east going to the Avenue of the Americas. I figured we should pass the Empire State Building.

“Dat’s tall, mommy,” Baruchah said with the wonder of a child as she looked up.

She wasn’t really looking where she was going. But fortunately, I was guiding them so they didn’t run into the people walking passed. We arrived just in time to get on the uptown bus. There were seats, so I sat down, but the twins ran from side to side, jumping from seat to seat, looking at the sights as the bus traveled to our destination.

“Everything is so big!” Maggie exclaimed.

“That’s because you are small now, MaggPie,” I replied.

“Not dat,” that kitten replied. “Dose buildings are giants! Giants walking towards us!”

As I imagined the buildings walking towards us, I gave her a grin, knowing she still had that vivid imagination, and made a note to myself to nurture that imagination as she got older.

At our stop I thanked the bus driver as we walked down the bus’s stairs.

“Tank you,” added Maggie.

“Tank you,” chimed Baruchah in her little girl voice.

The bus driver smiled as he closed the door and headed towards the end of his route.

We walked the long block of 57th Street looking at the shops along the way. About half way down the block the twins asked to be picked up. I did, putting them in the stroller that I conjured up with some magic. Knowing that I knew what to do with the magic surprised me.

Finally, we arrived at our destination. F A O Schwartz has been a Mecca for children in New York City for Decades.

Standing in front of the store was a young woman who looked about twenty. She had auburn hair. With her was a four-year-old with strawberry blond hair. They were also wearing Mommy and Me necklaces.

“Jenna!” I cried out to the mother. “You turned out beautiful. And you did too,” I told Cathy.

Jenna looked, smiled and gave me a hug. “You also look great, Shell. But why the toy store? We’ll never get them out of here.”

“Don’t worry,” came a voice from a young woman a few feet away from us. She had four children with her, three girls and a boy. She was wearing the “Mommy” necklace and the girls were wearing the “Me” necklaces.

“Kimmie,” Jenna shouted to the carrot-topped woman with a ‘fro.

“When they find something they just have to have,” Kimmie told us. “They’ll come running to us and not stop pestering us until we agree to buy it.”

“Kids also have the shopping bug,” Prudence informed us as she got near us. She turned towards the little girl holding her hand and said, “I know what YOU want. Art supplies!”

“But they only have that gene for toys at that age,” Emma protested as she joined us with her now four-year-old, Katelyn.

“That’s how I started, mum.” said a sixteen-year-old that I knew had to be Allison. “Now I go to ALL the boutiques.”

My Ally kissed me, then her little sisters. She also wore a “Me” necklace.

I realized then that the SRU wizard was working overtime for us.

“Besides, we’ll help watch the little ones,” came a pair of nearly identical voices. They came from my set of fourteen-year-old twins, Stephie and Kay.

Stephie picked up Maggie, as Kay picked up Baruchah. Stephie was dressed as a biker chick, wearing black jeans and black leather jacket over a very revealing black button down satin blouse. Kay was wearing a halter-top that was two sizes too small for her. It revealed too much of her breasts, and if her skirt’s bottom had been any higher on her thighs, she would be charged with indecent exposure.

I sighed. Those girls shouldn’t be dressed like they were, but I didn’t know whether it would be worth the fight with them.

“NO BATH!” Maggie suddenly said, as Baruchah and Maggie pulled out their TABAS (Toddlers Against Baths And Showers) cards, and quickly showed them to their older sisters. Like their cousins, Cathy and Katelyn, they were charter members of that club. None of the members understood that the cards were useless against a determined mother.

“No, not now,” replied Kay. “I think you want to have another doll first.”

“Anodder?” asked Baruchah. “I wants one too!”

“ME threes!” added Kimmie’s little one, Allie.

“I’s four,” added little Vicky, Allie’s twin.

“And what about my kids?” asked my daughter, Rachael, as she herded her big brood in front of her.

Rachael had the “Mommy” necklace because she was now the mother of eleven children, while each of her daughters was blessed with the “Me” necklaces.

“I guess I’ll also be buying things for my grandchildren,” I replied.

All of them said, “Hi, grandma,” to me except Sara, who silently asked to be picked up. I pick up my little granddaughter and was rewarded with a leaky Pamper. Her cuddle more than made up for the wetness. Seeing my slight distress, Rachael had already gotten a new Pamper for her daughter and used some magic to clean and dry my skirt.

“And how is my little princess today?” I asked the two-year-old.

“Pwrincess?” Sara asked.

“That’s what Sara means, princess.

“Oh, you gets me dat unique corn you pwomise me?”

“If it is in the store I’ll get it for you today.”

“Pwomise?”

“Promise,” I replied.

We put a protection spell on all our children before walking into Schwartz, and another on everything in the store to prevent breakage. The kids ran in every direction, which would have made it impossible to be sure they were all safe if we didn’t use that spell.

Walking a little further I saw the unicorn dolls.

“Rachael,” I asked her. “Help me pick out a pretty unicorn for Sara.”

Humm,” she mused before picking up one that was lavender, electric hot pink and white. “How about this one?”

As I agreed to get that unicorn plushy for Sara, a confused Holly walked up to us holding the hand of her now, eight-year-old, Heather Anne.

“I still don’t know how we got here today,” Holly tried to explain. “Early this morning, as the sun was rising, the mirror in my bedroom told me to go to the mall.”

“I thought I was dreaming ‘cause I wasn’t really awake when the mirror started talking,” Heather added

“Yes you did, kitten,” Holly agreed. “I hardly believed my ears. I dressed and drove to the Great Mall of the Bay Area…”

“It was the Sun Valley Mall, mommy,” Heather interrupted. “I went to the Sun Valley Mall. That’s the one near me. In the mall was THE store, the SRU store. And I was waiting for you in the store.”

“The wizard changed us and then told us we needed to take the Zephyr to get to New York,” Holly continued.

“That’s a train, Cousin Rachael,” Heather added. “We rode on a train!”

“We got out of the store across the street from the Emeryville Station, where the train begins its ride. I bought our tickets and we got to the track just as the train entered the station. We had just gotten to our seats and settled down when the train started to move. We were watching the scenery for a few minutes when things started to get really weird.”

“That was a quick ride,” Heather added. “I never had ta asked, ‘Are we there yet?’”

“It was so fast that I was looking at the Rockies as the conductor came into the cab and announced, ‘Union Station, Chicago.’ The first ride was over. I looked at my watch and it was less than fifteen minutes later than the time we left, yet we seem to have been able to see the all of really pretty sights, and even talk about them. But the clocks at the station agreed with my watch.”

“It’s the magic,” Rachael explained.

“But we went through two times zones! And back East is earlier then the Bay Area. Yet the clocks at the station said that my watch was on the proper time for THAT time zone. A few minutes later we got on the Lake Shore Limited and, again we watched the scenery, including Lake Erie. A few minutes later, just like the first time, the conductor came into the car and announced, ‘Penn Station, New York City,’ as we entered the tunnel to Manhattan. Again, my watch and the clocks at the station claimed that only about fifteen minutes had elapsed from the time we left Chicago.

“I somehow knew that we had to get here, so we took a taxi. Did you know you take your life in your hands when you take one of those yellow taxis? The whole trip from my house took less than an hour, make that less than minus two hours, as your time is three hours ahead of ours in the Bay area.”

“Why didn’t you use a broom?” I asked, ignoring her problem with time.

“You know Heather doesn’t know how,” Holly explained. Then, to herself, “How did I know that?”

Just then Stephie came back to us and asked us all to follow her. As we walked toward the back of the store we heard an organ being played by someone not tutored in music. Then we found that it was not just someone, but many someones. Those someones included all of our little, and some of our slightly older children playing on the giant foot organ that is a major attraction at FAO Schwartz in Manhattan. Prue was smart enough to take a camera out of her pocketbook and start snapping pictures. Kimmie and Holly followed with their own cameras. When the manager found out what they were doing, we promised to send copies to both the store and the main office.

After they got tired of playing on the organ the children went wild getting toys they “just needed.” The dolls included Cabbage Patch, Raggedy Ann and Barbie. The girls also wanted play makeup and perfume. The younger boys “needed” trucks, building blocks, actions figures, and “weapons.” There were also some larger play items such as bicycles that we promised to get the kids locally in a few days.

After paying for the children’s treasures, we made arrangements for some of the items to be sent to my place by courier, so they would be there when we got home, That accomplished, we walked the few blocks past the fountain at the Waldolf Astoria and the lake that has the Peter Pan statue, to the children’s playground. When we arrived at the playground gate we made sure the protection spell was still in place, then let the children run.

As we sat watching the kids, I began to think. I looked at the women who had only been my virtual sisters this morning, but now were my real sisters. I saw their happiness as we watched our children play in the playground. Most of them had also just been our virtual children before we encountered the Mirror of Change. I realized that as the Evil Witch Family we would want to share our happiness with others.

I turned to one of my sisters and said, “Jenna? That idea you had for a little girls camp, maybe we can do it now, with real transformations, so they can really experience being little girls.”

“That’s a great idea,” Jenna replied. “We’ll do the transformations and take care of the new little girls as we care for our own kids.”

“But how will we pay for everything?” Emma asked. “A camp is almost always a financially losing proposition.”

“We can manufacture our own money,” Rachael replied as her Sara played near by.

“And what will happen when the IRS and the rest of the government find out?” asked Emma.

It was quiet for a few minutes as we thought about what Emma told us.

“Hugglebugs,” Prudence said, letting her four-year-old Sarah slide down from her lap.

“What?” asked Emma.

“Hugglebugs!” Prue repeated. “We’ll make Hugglebugs. If we can change grown men into little girls we can make the Hugglebug technology work.”

“That’s just the beginning,” Kimmie added. “Shelly you have your soups and, of course, we have the Woobie blanket. Jenna, you also want that restaurant. There should be other things we could do.”

“Bill could make sure they are run correctly,” added Emma. “We should all write out our ideas for businesses and see if he can help us figure how we can do it We should make enough of a profit from them to be able to run the camp at a major loss and still have more than enough to live on.”

“If we do it right we can even have real unicorns!” I added as Baruchah came over to me and climbed onto my lap.

“I wants a unicorn!” my little one added.

“Then we’ll have to have them,” Prudence replied as we all giggled.

“I’s have my little sister, Michelle too?” Baruchah asked.

“If she wants. We’ll start tomorrow.” I explained. “And we’ll let Karen Ann and Judy and Natasha, and Elsa and Autumn and all the others join us.”

“Big fambly!”

“Yep, big family,” replied Kimmie. “I have an idea.”

PennStationPic2b.jpg (7.11 KB)

She held out a gold bracelet she had just conjured, with two bugs hugging each other. The head was gold with two tiny blue star sapphire eyes with the thorax a ruby. On both sides of the abdomen were emeralds and the wings were alabaster. All the jewels were surrounded by gold.

Dat’s pretty, mommy,” Allie told Kimmie as the child came to look.

“Want to be the first to wear it?” asked Kimmie.

“Yeah,” Allie’s smile grew broad.

Kimmie put the bracelet on her four-year-old then proceeded to magically create bracelets for the rest of us. For the boys the insects were necklaces and had a slightly mean look to them

Then Allie shouted to Sarah, Baruchah and Piper, “Come on, let’s use the slide!” All four girls ran towards the slide. Unfortunately for little Sara, she had just gotten up and started walking towards her mother. Ally ran into her and the two-year-old fell down on her behind and started to cry. Rachel quickly got up and picked up her crying baby, rocking her as Ally apologized to Rachel.

“I forgive you, Allie,” Rachel told her. “But you’re apologizing to the wrong person. You hurt Sara, not me.”

“OH!” Allie responded. “I’s sorry, Sara.”

“You forgive, Allie?” Rachel asked Sara.

Sara nodded her head twice as she stopped crying.

“Sara, comes to swings wid us,” Allie continued.

This time Sara leaned down to indicate to her mom she wanted to join her cousin. After being let down the two cousins mended their friendship by giggling and running to the swings. A few minutes later I saw Heather alternately pushing Sara and Sarah on the swings.

About an hour later, Kimmie looked at her watch and said, “I know we could survive for a while, but the kids will be hungry soon.”

“Where can we go that is both nutritious and can accommodate the kids?” asked Prue.

We all thought of the dilemma.

“The Museum of Natural History,” I suggested. “It has some good quality food and it HAS to be children friendly.”

“Afterwards we could either cruse the museum or go back to the park,” Emma added.

“The only things I want to see are the Planetarium and the gem and mineral exhibit,” Kimmie suggested. “They have a jewelry section that that has some exquisite pieces, including the Hope Diamond.”

“Then it’s settled,” Prue suggested.

We took a few cabs to the other side of the park, but the trip took too long, as
Baruchah, Maggie and Sara shouted in unison, “Are we there yet?”

I was about to give them the look that implied that I wasn’t going to take their nonsense, when I noticed Rachel had beaten me to it.

“Oh, oh!” Maggie said.

“We’s in trouble,” Baruchah agreed.

Instead of buying tickets, we all became members of the museum. Kimmie gave money to her two oldest to get tickets for the planetarium and I insisted that Ally, Stephie, Kay and Rachel’s oldest help them. Meanwhile, we herded the little ones into the cafeteria on the lower level. The teens came back with the tickets and told us we had just over an hour before the show. After lunch we had fifteen minutes, and took a leisurely walk towards the Hayden, stopping occasionally at some of the exhibits.

After we enjoyed the IMAX show in the planetarium, we went to the rock and mineral exhibit. Our goal was the exquisite jewelry visible behind the plate glass. There were a few items each of us especially liked.

As we looked at the jewelry, Kimmie told me, “I like that necklace. I want to try it on.”

“We have magic that will let you do it,” I explained. “But you must put it back.”

“And if I really like it?”

“We’ll get daddy here, and have him look at it and make it for you.”

She took it out of the case magically. When she’d tried it on and looked in the mirror she told me, “I’ll get our father here to look at it.”

It was getting late so we decided to leave the city and head home, so we took cabs down to Penn Station. When we arrived after the nice “Mommy and Me” day, we counted heads to make sure we got enough tickets for everyone. Boarding the train was an adventure, because we needed to make sure we didn’t leave anyone or anything behind. None of us wanted to wait the half hour for the next train nor be brought up on charges relating to a “Home Alone” situation. I sat in one of the triple seats by the door as Rachel took one of the two facing us, with Sarah in her arms and one of her oldest next to her. On each side of me were Maggie and Baruchah, both fussing. Sara was crying a storm that changing her diaper and giving her a bottle didn’t cure.

Noting Rachel’s frustration I suggested. “Let me try.”

Rachel handed Sara to me just before the train started. The train’s rocking calmed Sara down as we traveled the tunnel below the East River and I felt two tiny heads on my arms.

The train emerged from the tunnel on the Long Island side of the river as Rachel pulled a camera out of her pocketbook and mouthed, “They’re asleep”

After taking two pictures she sang in a soft voice, “Mothers with their babes asleep.”

“Are rocking to the gentle beat,” I continued, nearly in a whisper.

“And the rhythm of the rails is all they feel,” Holly added. “Yes, Heather is also sleeping. Of course this is both the shortest and longest rail journey for her today.”

As the train left the Jamaica station, Prue called her husband on her cell phone and told him where and when to meet us. He wasn’t the only one waiting for us at the station as Emma’s Bill and my Steve were also part of the pick up crew. My husband, Steve, is also known as Norman to differentiate him from my twin brother, who is also Steve, known as Wolfe, from his middle name and is married to Betty, Norman’s twin. When they picked us up they informed us that we were having a bar-b-cue for all of us in our back yard. Fortunately the men were doing the cooking, but that meant no vegetables.

I heard the roar of a motorcycle that seemed to stop right outside our home. We looked outside and saw a lady in black leather get off the Hogg, take off her helmet, and shake out her black wavy hair. Around her neck was a “me” necklace. As she wasn’t married, so she wasn’t a mommy, yet. I went outside and gave her a kiss, then a hug.

“Janet!” I said to the young lady. “I’m glad you could join the rest of the family, today.”

“You should know I just had to come,” she replied.

I heard the front door slam. We looked towards the noise and saw Stephie running towards the bike. She touched the leather of the seat then put her hands on the handlebars.

“Stephie,” I told her, “I still say ‘no,’ but you can dream.”

“Maybe someday Mom will say yes, Stephie,” Janet commiserated.

“I’m sorry, Stephie,” I replied. “But until you are on your own, only in your dreams.”

“Then?”

“Then you are on your own. I will advise, but you will be making your own decisions. For your safety, I hope you will follow my advice.”

“Yes, mama,” Stephie replied, disappointed.

“You may still want the bike then,” I told her as I put my arms around both girls. “Janet did. Both grandma and I are still against the bike.”

We walked together to the back yard and smelled the hamburgers and chicken burning on the grill.

As Rachel and I were making plates for our younger children, Maggie came over with a sad look on her face to tell me, “I misses my friend.”

“Who?” I asked, as I finished her plate.

“Debby,” she replied.

“What about her kids?” I inquired as I gave it to her to eat.

“Dem, too,” Maggie added. “And da dog an cat.”

“I don’t know if she will be part of the clan,” I explained. “But I will make every effort for her to be part of us. Maybe she can do something with us she’s only dreamed about.”

“Likes what?”

“I’m not sure,” I acknowledged. “Maybe she’ll teach some of you, but one of us grown ups needs to discuss it with her. We’ll see.”

“Pwomise she be wid us?” Maggie asked with a full mouth.

“Only if she wants to,” I replied. “Everything is voluntary.”

“OTAY!” she shouted as she ran back to the swing set.

“Get your twin here,” I yelled after Maggie. “Dinner’s ready.”

When almost everyone left the table after dinner, I noticed that the little ones were starting to yawn. Rachael was already sitting on the sofa and had her Sara in her lap and was reading “One Fish, Two Fish.” Sara was listening intently, or at least as much as someone with droopy eyes could.

I dressed my twins for bed, and then took out “Good Night Moon.” After sitting down on the rocking chair in their room and putting them on my lap I read the book to them as I rocked in the chair. They were still awake when I finished, so I decided to sing a lullaby. I felt them rest their heads on my lower ribs as I started to hum.

I noticed mom looking in on us and smiling.

A few minutes later, she whispered, “They’re asleep.”

Just to be on the safe side, we waited a while longer before she took Baruchah, and Maggie to their beds.

Then I turned to mom and gave her a hug. With tears in my eyes, I told her, “Thank you, mom. You taught me well.”

A few weeks later we helped my twins’ nursery school take the children to see “The Lion King.” Six months after that they were in the public school for the last time as we had found the land to start our Little Kids Kamp. Debby became the school’s principal at the camp. There were also others that joined us as Debby had.

This is the first of at least three stories in a new universe called “Little Kids Kamp.” It is an open universe with rules.

The lines sung on the Long Island Rail Road are from “City of New Orleans.”

Heather Rose Brown is the artist and shalimar is the author.

We thank Holly Logan, Maggie O Malley and Davenport for their assistance in editing.

Spells R Us is a universe created by Bill Hart. Hugglebugs is a universe created by Prudence Walker. This is also a Kitten Tails and an Evil Witch story.

Playmate

by shalimar

I took a break from my household chores on that early May afternoon and watched Miriam, my five-year-old and her friend, Sarah, learn a clapping song from two of the older girls in the neighborhood. The older girls are very patient with my baby and her friend as they learn the actions, rhythm and words of the song, “Playmate.”

As I watched them it brought back memories of my own childhood, sitting and watching the girls in the neighborhood do that and other clapping songs. One time there were only three girls, so they asked me to join them.

“I’ve seen you do it, but I don’t know if I can. I’ll probably mess it up,” I replied the first time.

“We’ll teach you,” said Sally, one of the girls.

“OK,”

So I joined in and gradually learned it well enough not to make too many mistakes. We laughed and started over again when I, or one of the girls, made a mistake.

It was fun until Judy, another of the girls, said, ”You’re one of us girls, now.”

I smiled, but Beth said, “She’s not dressed like us.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“We’re all wearing a dress or a skirt,” Beth explained. “Except you.”

“But I’m a boy.”

“Not anymore, you’re not,” Sally said.

Judy looked at me then at the other girls, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah, she needs to wear a skirt,” the other two said in unison.

“You’re about our size,” Beth noted. “Come on! We’re gonna get you properly dressed!”

Since we were playing outside of it they ran into Judy’s house.

Their joy at doing a makeover was infectious and I ran after them yelling, “Wait for me!”

When we got up in her room she opened her closet door.

“Strip,” Judy commended

I stripped to my BVD’s but the three of them demanded, “All of it, girl.”

Sally handed me a pair of pink panties and showed me how to put them on. Judy followed by giving me a pink t-shirt. After I put it on I noticed a bow on the top, put my forefinger on it and smiled.

While this was happening they were discussing what skirt and blouse I should wear. A black skirt went on first. It was pleated and flared and came to my knees. The pink blouse was short sleeved and had lace around the neck and scallops on the bottom.

Beth handed me a pair of pink sneakers.

“No socks?” I asked.

“It’s too hot,” she replied.

I was happy about the color and the fact the sneakers were my size.

“Ready,” I said.

“Not yet,” Beth stopped me as she grabbed my arm and sat me down at Judy’s vanity.

My hair, being long, was easily shaped into a girl’s style. They finished with a pink ribbon in my hair.

“Want some lipstick?” Judy asked.

“Sure!” I agreed as she applied the candy pink wax that felt funny on my lips.

“I want that too,” Beth and Sally chorused.

“There’s one last thing before you’re one of us girls,” Beth explained. “We can’t call you Steve. That’s a boy’s name.”

“Well, I can’t use Sally for a name,” I told them with a smile towards Sally.

“Stephanie?” Sally asked.

“No, too close to Steven,” I replied. “I want something special.”

We all thought until Judy shouted, “Sophia!”

“Yeah!” I agreed before hugging them.

We ran outside before continuing to sing, “Playmate.”

That continued until my mom called out, “Steven! Come inside and do your homework!”

“OK, mom!” I shouted back. “I’ll be right there!” Then to the girls I said, “I havta go, but I had fun today.”

“Tomorrow,” they said as we hugged.

“Tomorrow,” I agreed.

I ran the three houses home, opened the door before telling my mother, “I had fun today. It was me and Sally and Beth and Judy. We sang, ‘Playmate.’ I learned it real good!”

“And you played dress up. Didn’t you?” she asked.

I looked down, noticed I was still in the skirt and blouse, smiled and said, “Yeah! We had fun.”

“Well, young lady, after we finish your homework you’re helping me with dinner.”

“Do I havta?”

“A girl is supposed to help her mother make dinner.”

Being called a girl by my mother was all the incentive I needed.

“OK.”

“By the way, what are they calling you, Stephanie?”

“Sophia.”

“OK, Sophie, get your books, and I’ll help you with your homework. After that we’ll make dinner.”

“Thank you mom,” I said as I hugged her.

She gave back the hug, smiled and asked, “For what?”

“For not making me change back.”

“Your father won’t understand, so you’ll have to change back before he gets home. At other times I’ll let you be Sophie. It’ll be our secret, at least until I can make your father accept you this way. Now go get your books.”

As I did my homework with mom looking over my shoulder I said, “Why do I have to change? I’m a girl, now.”

“Not as far as your father’s concerned. Please, there will only be an argument and you might get hurt.”

“Can I be Sophia at other times?”

“When I’m sure your father won’t be around or until I can convince him.”

“Can I help convince daddy?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I do have an idea, though. I’ll get you girl’s clothes that look like boy clothes. When you’re at home you can wear them.”

“Oh! Thank you, mom.”

I hugged her tight.

The next morning mom got me up for school. I had breakfast before running out the door to walk to school. I stopped running when I caught up to Beth, Judy, and Sally. We talked as walked together until we met Amy and Heather at the next block.

“What’s he doing with us?” Amy asked.

Sally looked around and asked, “He?”

Amy pointed to me.

“She’s Sophia and she lives three houses from me,” Judy explained.

“You’re a girl? I thought you were Steven.”

“I was Steven. I’m now a girl.”

“We made her one yesterday,” Beth said.

“That’s good enough for me,” replied Heather.

“It’ll take some time getting used to calling you Sophia, girl,” Amy admitted.

When we got there I played with the other girls and the word about me got around. Many of them came up to me and congratulated me. Some said I needed to dress more like a girl. I told them what my mother said.

Finally the bell rang and we went to our classes. During one of the lessons Mrs. Milano, our teacher asked a question. Knowing the answer I raised my hand.

“What is the answer, Steven?”

Most of the girls in the class giggled.

I started to speak, but I was embarrassed that she was using my boy’s name.

“What’s so funny?” Mrs. Milano asked.

“Her name is Sophia,” Amy told her.

“Do you want to be called Sophia?”

“Yes, Mrs. Milano.”

“Sophia, what is the answer?”

I gave it to her and she told me it was correct.

Later, when we were all reading, she asked me to come and talk to her, “I have no problem with what you are doing, but others might. I’m going to have to talk to the principal and your parents about this. I need to know what I must do and can do.”

“Please just talk to my mother,” I begged.

“I promise I will start that way. Eventually your father might need to know. Your mother will decide when.”

A week later I was told that I could wear girls clothes to school, including skirts, and that I would be using the girls’ bathroom. The nurse came and explained to the class about me in a way that we all could understand.

In the years that followed I continued to play with the other girls, often wearing skirts in school until one day I noticed my voice dropped. I hated it and ran to mom. I cried for an hour. She took me to an endocrinologist who got me on hormones. By the time my father found out I had developed into a teenage girl. He was told it was “too late” for me so I legally became Sophia. I’ve lived completely as a girl since.

During my transition I joined a local transsexual group as part of my therapy and started hanging out with Miriam, another male to female transsexual and two female to males named John and Larry. We enjoyed each other’s company and had even though of the idea of exchanging our sexual organs with each other. Surgeons that we talked to told us that that operation has only been done once and our tissues weren’t compatible for such an operation.

Although we couldn’t have the operation we needed we continued to have the need to complete our transitions. Both John and Larry had their breast reduction surgery and we each had made arrangements to have our sex reassignment surgery.

About a year after we had tried to exchange our sexual organs, John and I were beginning to see each other as lovers. I couldn’t believe how handsome he had become, and he considered me the prettiest woman on Earth. I was mesmerized by him as I constantly hung on every word he said. I also noticed Miriam and Larry were also getting close in a similar way.

“Are you in love with Larry the way I am with John?” I asked one afternoon as we got tickets to see a movie.

“I love him,” Miriam replied. “But I wouldn’t consider us being in love. It is more like my love for you and John. He’s like a brother to me.”

“I kind of wish we were a family,” I sighed.

After seeing a movie at the mall we passed what looked like the SRU store. Curious, we went in and talked to the old man and his assistant.

“I heard what Sophia and Miriam were talking about before,” he explained to us. “Would you like to be a family?”

“Could I have Sophie as my wife?” John asked.

“Is that what you want?” the wiz asked.

“Definitely,” I replied. “If Miriam and Larry agree.”

“I can be a little girl and grow up?” asked Miriam.

“And I can be a boy who becomes big and strong and plays all those sports?”

“I think we all agree,” John noted. “Do whatever you need to do.”

Dannie went to the back and came out with a toy smoke popper and gave it to her boss. He threw it down before our feet and it popped producing the smoke.

After my initial surprise, I felt one of Miriam’s tiny four-year-old hands in mine and her other one playing with my engagement ring that was in front of my wedding ring and then an arm went around my shoulder. It was John’s and I looked up into his eyes and smiled. Every time before that when I looked into his eyes they were at my height, except when I wore heels.

“Come on, kids,” he said as he took my other hand. “Let’s have dinner.”

Larry, who became our son a year older than our daughter, was teasing Miriam.

“Larry, don’t tease your sister,” my husband said after we left the store.

I realized we had become a typical family and the hurt that we had because of our gender would soon heal.

Now, a year later, I smiled as I rubbed my tummy where my baby kicked, a gift I happily received from John merely five months before. I then called Larry on his cell phone because he’s at his friend’s around the corner playing football.

John and I have planned a candlelight dinner, as today is the anniversary of the day we changed. However, the kids have to eat earlier, so I called Miriam in to help me make their dinner. I didn’t want to end her playing with the other girls. She seemed so happy.

Miriam ran in and excitedly told me, “I learned to sing ‘Playmate!’ Want to hear it?”

“Sure!”

“Playmate,” she sang.

“Come out and play with me,” we sang together.

“And bring your dollies three
Climb up our apple tree

Slide down my rainbow
Through my cellar door
And we’ll be jolly friends
Forever more”

“You know it, mommy!”

“I do,” I said before telling her about the first time I sang it. She listened as she hugged me. Because the wizard hadn’t erased any of our memories before the transition, she more than anyone else, understood the significance.

Based on the children’s song, “Playmate,” which has various versions and no copyright.

For my virtual twin five-year-old daughters, Maggie Baruchah and Baruchah Miriam and my friend Larry.

I thank Kimmie Townsend, Allie Townsend aka Allie Ellie, Rachael Anne Skellington, Holly Logan, and Maggie O Malley aka MaggietheKitten for their assistance, editing and suggestions.

A different way for a sex change.

Priceless

By shalimar

Cost of building Space Shuttle: $Trillions

Cost of maintaining Space Shuttle: $Billions

Delay cause by replacing foam tile: $Billions

Recent delay: $Millions

Getting sex change caused by space radiation: Priceless

Synopsis: During Simcha Torah things change. It is better for me and others.
Is religious in nature.

After nearly a month of Holy Days we end the cycle with a religious celebration called Simcha Torah. It is a most unusual holy day. We carry the Torahs seven times around the synagogue, and sometimes outside. Each time we sing and dance with the Torahs. The songs this year included MiPi El (1), David Melich (1), Am Yisrael Chi (1), Od Yishama (1), and this year, a song I first heard more than fifty years ago, Tumbalalaika (2). Although much of the dancing is a version of the hora, amorphous choreographed Israeli dancing is often the case. It is organized, and often disorganized, kayos.

Finally, at the end of dancing with the Torahs those seven times we read both the end and the beginning of the Torah, showing a truth that the Torah has no ending, nor beginning. As usual for the holy day, there were five readings because it was Sunday. According to tradition the first Alliah belongs to the kohaim, all of them present. That portion is read followed by calling up the rest of the tribe of Levi present. Next came the remainder of the men. The fourth was for the women.

I was stopped. I didn’t understand why. I knew that their refusal was not because I was transgendered. I was fully accepted as a woman at this and other synagogues in the area. Once, recently, I was required to be behind the mehitzah (curtain dividing men and women), something that grated me to no end even before I transitioned, but I accepted because that was that synagogue’s custom.

A few minutes later I understood. I was called up to do the Torah blessings as the agent for the children as the congregation sang, Hamalach Hagoel (1, 3). I barely held back tears as I climbed the bema (platform) thinking of the honor of being the children’s adopted grandma. In a previous year, I was Catan B’reishit (groom of Breshit). Today I am Callah B’reisheit (bride of Genesis). It is a special honor. To have it twice on one lifetime is extremely rare.

I looked at all the children that were under the very large tallitot and decided that a few of the younger ones would “assist” me with the blessings. After asking her, I took Maddie, a child less than a year old, and put her on my shoulders. She willingly held onto my hat and face making it hard for me to see. Then Samuel, a three-year-old, was held in my right arm. Rachel, who was four, went into my left arm.

I nodded and the Torah was opened to the beginning of the Torah before I pressed my Tallit (prayer shawl) on the proper place, or as close to it I could considering my helpers, then made the blessings. The reader began to read.

But, I didn’t hear a thing. I felt, instead, the world turn on its ear. Things were different, while it seemed the same. My sense of being was now correct. As my senses cleared, I noticed there was another two large tallitot still being held by my siblings and our spouses that went over my children and my sibling’s children that had not come of age. They included my twins, Issy and Steffi, who were going to have their bat mitzvah in a matter of weeks. I noticed my five-year-old terrible tornadoes, Baruchah and Maggie holding little Michelle under the one partially held by my husband, Norman. Becky(4), was holding her sister, Cathy’s hand under another. Cathy’s other hand held Bernedet, the stuffed bear. Kim Em (5) held a corner of a tallit where Piper was under with friends. Even my baby sister, Janet, was holding Tamar and the baby under a Tallit. I thought she was still under the weather because of giving birth so I was surprised to see her.

The three children on me were still the same ones. They “helped” me make the post reading blessing.

Time went by, and although I kept my old memories, I also, received new ones. I now remembered I danced a waltz with Norman and laughed to the song, Tumbalalaika while understanding the words of the riddle and answer because I now also knew Hebrew, Yiddish, Ladino, Russian, Arabic and Aramaic, the languages of most our people throughout time. A change I now knew was true.

In the end, Norman and I helped gather our extended family onto the bema, and faced the ark as Norman led us in the blessing of thanksgiving.

Note: Simcha Torah marks the end of the Jewish holiday period that begins with Rosh Hashana. Simcha Torah has the final reading in the Torah and also the beginning. The title of the story is an English translation of Simcha Torah.

1. songs in Hebrew
2. song in Yiddish
3. Gen 48:16
4. Rebecca Ann Stewart, d May 2003. May her memory be for good.
5. Kim Em, d June, 2008 May her memory be for good.
Both Becky and Kim were loved.

Renaming a Highway
by shalimar

I went because he was my cousin. I didn't believe that I would ever have the strength to see the location where he probably died. According to my elders the whole family had to be there, just like the old days when we had family gatherings. I was only his third cousin but I still was required to be a part of history on the day the state of Mississippi would officially dedicate a part of the highway after him.

I dressed as I usually did. My skirt was green with flowers and the blouse was solid green with a v-neck. Together they looked like a dress. I didn't need stockings, as the spring day was fairly warm. I did wear green two-inch pumps.

I left the motel and went to the diner across the street. The waitress took my order.

"Are you here for the ceremony?" she asked.

"My accent must have given me away," I replied.

"Yea," but we forgive you for being a Yankee, hon," she said. "As long as you don't give us any trouble."

"I'm not planning on that," I told her. "My cousin died because of 'giving you trouble' forty years ago."

"One of those kids was your cousin?"

I shook my head, "Yes."

"I'm sorry, dear. Which one?"

I told her. I also told her that I almost went down with him but my parents said I was too young.

"'But dad,' I told him. 'You picketed the Yankees because they were still "lily white."' He said I could picket Woolworth in our hometown. So I was stuck up North."

"Then you're like him."

"I looked up to him. I hope I have done him honor."

"I've seen his picture in the paper. You look sort of like him, dear," she said.

"I've been told that my whole life. I hope you don't mind, but this ceremony opened an old wound."

"Sure, hon, I understand."

She left and gave my order to the cook in restaurantese then took care of some of the other customers.

While I was waiting for breakfast one of the local police came in and sat at the counter. I noticed that as he was talking with the waitress he occasionally looked at me. When he noticed I saw he bowed his head showing me respect. I smiled. He smiled back at me and tipped his hat. I hoped she was telling him about why I was here and nothing else. Even after surgery I still have the fear of being "read."

As I was being served a man came in that confirmed my fear.

"You're a guy," he said as he came over to me.

I ignored him.

"You're a damn guy in a dress," he repeated.

"Are you always this rude to guests in your town?" I asked.

"We don't like your kind here."

Same shit. Different decade. Different issue.

"Don't worry. I'm here for the ceremony. I'll be gone in a few hours."

"Get your fairy ass out of here."

He was getting me angry, but he was not going to get me to start anything.

"No, thank you. Could you, please, let me eat in peace?"

"And if I don't?"

As he said that I saw the policeman walking in our direction.

"I suggest you look behind you," I said as I pointed to the cop.

"Come on, Cliff, leave the lady alone," the officer told him as he stood between Cliff and me.

"He ain't no lady," Cliff told the cop. "Can't you arrest him for something?"

"I could arrest you for disturbing the peace and harassing her, but I would prefer finishing my breakfast. I suggest you leave, Cliff, and cool down."

Cliff left the restaurant without ordering anything. The officer noted that I was shaking.

"Abby," he called to the waitress. "Could you come here?"

As she came he held my hand and said to me, "I'm sorry mam for the way he treated you." He said it loud enough for the rest of the patrons to hear. Then he whispered to me, "Even if he is right."

Abby sat next to me and held me. I cried in her arms. I also didn't pay for the meal I couldn't eat.

After the ceremony I met the governor. He was gracious to my family and me. I told him of the incident and how he should be proud of most of the people of his state. I also told him that for me the restaurant incident helped bring closure to my cousin's death.

"There may be still an ember or two," I told him. "But Mississippi is no longer burning."

Note: In early February 2005 the Mississippi Senate passed a bill renaming a section of the highway near where they died after James Chaney, Andrew Goodman and Michael Schwerner. They were three civil rights workers who where among the "Freedom Riders" trying to register blacks to vote at a time when it was virtually unheard of in the former Confederate States of America. The investigation following their deaths was the basis of the movie "Mississippi Burning." As of this writing the bill has not become law. Hopefully soon.

SRU: Sobibor

by shalimar

WARNING: This story describes in details a concentration camp, death train ride and death camp during WWII.

It was the end of the day here in Rotterdam. I could see the Allies bombers returning to England from their raids in Germany as they flew near the city. The shells from the German cannons were exploding like blossoms of black orchards below the squadron above as it flew back to England.

Recently there were rumors that the Allies had invaded Italy and the Russians were beginning to push west. That was part of the reason that my family had hope. I was beginning to believe my immediate family would survive the constant attacks that these German occupiers and their boorish Dutch henchmen gave us.

Another reason that gave my family hope that we would survive this stupid war is that we recently received the coveted stamps on our internal passports allowing my family to live and work in this seaport city. I was allowed to be a dockworker, hauling the goods on and off the ships. It was hard work, but the Germans needed me to continue their war.

I was usually able to eat comparatively well at the docks, although as a Jew I had to eat in special places. Also, I got paid poorly because of my "race." Even if my boss wanted to pay me more, he wasn't allowed to by the German authorities.

We had finished our dinner, such as it was. We were eating nearly rotten potatoes and some bad fruit. The greengrocer that my wife, Heidi, was allowed to buy from had only bad fruit and vegetables. It was not the grocer's fault. He could only buy what he was allowed to buy from the German authorities. He was as restricted in his movements as my family and I were.

But, I was actually happy. I was beginning to look forward to making a shekeeyanu (prayer of thanksgiving) because our lives were being spared from this terrible nightmare. My little son, Isaac, noticed that I was humming.

"Is papa happy?" my four-year-old asked as I sat in an easy chair.

"Papa is very happy," I replied as I picked up my big boy and put him on my lap.

My six-year-old daughter, Rachael, joined him on my other lap. In another chair, Heidi was crocheting. Except for the fact that we were emaciated, it was a typical domestic scene, one that Heidi and I had hopes for before that madman began this stupid war.

Suddenly there was a knock on our front door. Calmly I went to it and opened it up. Four SS solders were there brandishing rifles behind their officer who was dressed impeccably in his uniform. I stood between them and my family.

"Come with us," the lieutenant said.

"We have stamps that say we can live and work here," I replied. "Heidi, get my passport, please."

She got up and went into the bedroom. A few seconds later she came back in and showed the officer my passport. It had the coveted official stamp.

"Sorry, but you must come with us," he replied after looking over the document.

"I will go peacefully," I replied.

"All of you," he calmly demanded.

Heidi gave me a look of fright. I looked calmly to her and the children, although I was just as scared as her and for them. I wish that I could calm her, but I know that when they come for you like this it could be a disaster.

"Do we need anything?" I asked.

"Just your papers. We will pack up for you," was his reply.

What could we do, but follow these hoods out the door. They took us out of the apartment, down the stairs and out the door. I noticed that the sun was setting near England that warm summer night, Britain where hopefully our rescuers would come. We had to stand there with other people while the solders checked us for weapons and other items, as if our people would be allowed to have guns. Most of us wore the yellow star, although some people wore pink triangles, and one couple each wore a brown bar. Where the Gypsies came from I don't know. Yes, I have helped the underground with information about what came on the ships. Usually I sent the information through Heidi, but I was not a regular. I was too afraid to do anything, so I never went on the raids. I would have been considered a civilian.

They did a strip search, with the men in front of the women and the women in front of the men. These "civilized" men didn't care about how they humiliated us. There was no concern for the basic modesty of the individual. They considered themselves part of the Master Race. They believed they created and were the inheritors of Western Civilization, which was as far as they were concerned, the only true civilization. But for them the rules of that civilization didn't apply to them now, because we were the Undermenchen, the sub-humans.

They put us into a truck waiting on the street. I helped Heidi and the children into the truck before followed them. Our truck had mainly women and children on it, and we had to stand to fit everyone. Other trucks passed us just as packed with people. All these trucks sped off towards the Vught Transportation Camp. It was difficult to stand the entire distance as our truck to speed around curves.

One old man never made it that far as he died on the truck. I found out later that this was just another raid on our community. As usual for these raids, there were over 1000 of us "arrested" and sent to this transfer camp. We were afraid of what would happen next. There were rumors that we would be sent east. No one had ever received any mail from anyone sent east for more than a few months.

When we got to the camp, the Germans selected us. Most of us would be going on the train in the morning. That group included my wife and children. When we found out, I hugged and kissed Heidi, and the children. We had tears as we kissed for the last time. I saw them go to one barrack, and I was sent to another one. It was the last time I ever saw my family.

Early the next morning, the SS guards woke us and mustered outside my barracks for the morning roll call. As this was happening, I saw a train loading behind me. To my disappointment, I could not see anyone in my family in the confusion.

I was put to work in the Menist industry, which was sorting the luggage that was left behind by some of the other deportees. For just over two weeks I was that rag sorter. On two occasions I found luggage belonging to friends of mine. I worried about them as much as I worried about my Heidi, Rachael, and Isaac. I feared for the fate of my friends as much as for the fate of my family.

Fifteen days after I arrived at the camp I was selected for the next train. Again early the next morning I was roused out of my bed. This time I was brought to the freight yard in the back of the station. The station was inside the camp. There were hundreds of other people milling around the freight yard. I was amazed at the confusion. The Dutch SS and their dogs handled the boarding. We were packed 40 people to a car. There was straw on the bottom of the boxcars. The straw was a waste. There was little room for us to move around in. Most of us had the yellow star that told the authorities we were Jewish. A few had pink triangles. A few from the special camp were also on the train. These people were considered hardened criminals by the authorities. Some of their crimes were being part of the resistance.

Forty to a car was tight enough that only some of us could sit or lie down. As I was one of the first in the car, I decided to be by a wall so I could lean against the wall of the car. About an hour after we entered the boxcar it lurched forward and we started to move slowly out of the station. There were women and children in my car. Many of both were crying during the trip. I consoled some as best as I could during the trip.

I believe that the top speed of this train may have been 50 kilometers an hour. However, by sunset we were in Germany and across the Rhine. I talked to some of the people briefly. After a while I gave up my spot against the wall of the boxcar. I noticed that most of the others were as scared as I was. It was the unknown that we were afraid of.

As we rode through the night I thought of Heidi and our children. When I regained a wall, I slept leaning against that wall. I didn't know were we were going, but I feared that everything wasn't right. There were rumors in Rotterdam that we were headed to a place to be killed. That didn't make sense. It would make more sense for the Nazis to have the men do the heavy and dangerous jobs such as screwing the fuses on their bombs. The women could work as seamstresses sewing the uniforms for the Nazi military or crawling in small holes that most men would consider too small. No one would purposely murder a whole population for no reason. These thoughts entered my dreams as I fell asleep against that wall.

Several times that day the train stopped for water for the engine. At these stops I heard the German solders talking to each other, but they never opened the doors to give us fresh air, nor gave us anything to eat or drink. Occasionally the plea for something was greeted with a gunshot. They left the body for the locals to burry. On the second day an old lady in our car took her last breath. The Germans didn't care that someone actually died in that boxcar. The Germans let her stay there in our car, slumped on the floor until we disembarked.

Late that afternoon our train went through a rainstorm. I stuck out my hand through some broken slats of the car to get some of the rain. I first gave some water to the children in the car. Then like the others at the walls of the boxcar I help distribute the water to the rest of the passengers. Some didn't need the water, as there were leaks in the roof of our boxcar. Many of us were drenched.

That night I felt the train go backwards. I had hopes that the Allies had destroyed a bridge or large section of rail. It would mean that ours would not be the only train delayed or rerouted by this inconvenience.

I smiled as I remembered an old English saying,
"For want of a nail a shoe was lost.
For want of a shoe a horse was lost. For want of a horse a rider was lost.
For want of a rider a kingdom was lost."

It described the last successful invasion of England. Napoleon couldn't do it, and Hitler wouldn't do it either.

After about a half a day we started to go forward again. I noticed we had to go through mountains. As we were heading east during this time, I assume that we were in the Alps. The delay in total was almost two days and a half as I noticed we were going down onto the plains again. Based on the shadows I was able to see from the boxcar I knew we were still on the north slope of the Alps. Again we were heading East towards the Russian front. On the second night the train stopped near Warsaw. I was able to see the sign in both Polish and German at the station just before we stopped. In the early morning sun the train again lurched forward.

We traveled for another day. Again we stopped for the night. This time near Lublin. We started to move again as the sun brought its morning light to this region of the world. About two hours later I smelled what seemed like burning meat. I faintly smelled that same meat when we were near Lublin. What bothered me is that I couldn't tell what kind of meat it was. It smelled like chicken fat, yet I knew it wasn't. But it was getting stronger as we slowed at a railway junction. A few minutes later we heard the doors of the boxcars open and I smelled for the first time in days what would have been fresh air if it weren't for that burning meat smell. I saw the sign at the station. It said, "Sobibor." Above the camp itself were the words, "Arbeit macht frei" – work makes you free.

"Out," a German soldier shouted at us.

It took almost fifteen minutes for us to get out of the boxcar. After getting out myself, I helped some of the others out. The only one left in the car was the dead woman.

"Get that body out!" the German guard shouted to me and another man.

We retrieved the woman who was laid out in front of the other passengers.

We were then given orders to take the woman through the gate where others would tell us what to do with the body. The guard pointed to where we should go. It was to a crematorium. As I got closer I knew what the meat was I had smelled. It was human. There were probably thousands of bodies that would have had to be burned for that smell to be so prevalent in the air.

I then knew what would happen to us. We were going to be killed. Those bastards were going to murder us simply because we were Jews. Nervously we went to the gate.

We brought the body through a gate and brought it to some ovens.

“Leave the body here,” a guard informed us. “Then get back on line.”

We did and finally we were sorted. We joined the line with the majority of the prisoners.

When we went through to the other side the guard simply told us, "It is time to take a shower," as he handed us each a bar of soap and pointed to a barn like building.

We headed to the barn like door and waited.

A young woman dressed in prison garb, came up to us and said, "Please remove your clothes here. I see you already have your bars of soap."

We were joined by boys and other men, as we got undressed. Then two men opened the doors for us. They asked us to walk in. There were shower stalls on all the walls and in rows. We were so crowded in it was difficult to walk around. I ended up at the left wall walking in the direction we entered the showers. The doors were closed behind us and locked. Glancing up I noticed the holes in the ceiling that didn't make sense.

"OH, MY G_D! THEY'RE GOING TO KILL US!" I shouted.

'What is this?' I asked myself a few seconds later. 'I must be going crazy.'

The reality of what was happening must have made me snap. It looked like a store window appearing on my wall. Then I noticed there was a door for this store right by me. I saw a little old man in what appeared to be in a blue bathrobe opened the door. I was literally pushed by the pressure of the crowd through the door as it opens. Others followed as I fell to the floor of this strange store. It took less than a minute for this store to fill with the men and boys from the shower. The old man started to close the door.

"Could you help me?" the storeowner asked.

I was still dazed, but I got up and help him push the door closed. So did the other pallbearer of the old lady. As we were doing that, I was handed a baby. It was all I could do to hold it in my arms as the old man the pallbearer finished closing the door. I looked at the baby in my arms. It was sleeping contently. I felt love for this little one who was probably going to be an orphan in a few seconds.

"We're out of here!" the old man shouts as I look up from the child.

I saw the men and boys on the other side of the door falling down dead as the shower room that I was in a few seconds ago faded from view.

"We're warping to a different reality," the old man told us.

He went behind the counter.

"Help me distribute the clothing," the old man says to my pallbearer partner.

They distributed the clothes that apparently were under that counter. I noticed that some of the clothes were for women.

"Just take it for now," said the old man. "I don't have time to explain. Please put the clothes on."

The baby in my arms started to cry.

"Here," the old man said as he handed me a nursing bra.

"What am I going to do with this?" I asked as I held it in one hand and the baby in the other.

"Put it on," he replied. "You'll know what to do."

"This is crazy!" I told him.

"The infant is hungry," he said, reassuringly.

"So, give me a bottle!"

"It doesn't work that way," he replied. "Just put on the bra."

I looked around as everyone said, "Do it!”

One woman said to me, "I think he know what he's talking about."

Where did she come from?

I wasn't happy about wearing that bra, but I handed the baby for a second to that other pallbearer. I put on the bra and tried to attach the clasps.

"Could someone help me?" I asked.

One of the other women attached the bra on the back. Someone gave me a chair to sit down on. I removed one of the flaps in the front and took my baby back. Expertly, I put its mouth on my exposed nipple. When it was finished sucking that side I let it suck my other breast. I was humming a lullaby that my mother sang to me when I was a little child. I was content. When she is finished sucking, I gently burped Deborah. Then I laid her down on my lap and change her diaper. I then gently rock her to sleep. I put Debby in her layette that was on the side of me then finished getting dressed. My dress enabled me to expose myself when my baby again would become hungry.

I started to cry. I was crying for my wife and children that died a few days ago. I was crying for my husband that was murdered because he was too far away from the store entrance just before. I was going to be in mourning for a while. I carried the memory of all of them in my heart. I swore I would remember everything about them so they could live through me. Above all, I vowed that I will tell Deborah about everyone when she became old enough so they could live through her. They MUST live through her as they now live through me.

My husband said it best. He was right when he told me that Deborah's birth and other such births would be the way we will defeat Hitler.

As I thought of that, a field started to appear in front of the store. When it was solid the old man opens the store's door. We walked out into the fresh arid air.

"Where are we?" one of the other women asked.

"You are about two kilometers east of Tell Aviv," the shop owner replied as he pointed to the town. "You can see the town over there in the distance. Jaffa is just to its South."

"Home," I said as I picked up the layette with Deborah in it.

Some of the other people kissed the ground.

I looked around and saw the "Spells R Us" sign as the store disappeared in front of us. My group walked along a road towards the city. After a while I felt tired.

"May I help you?" asked the other pallbearer. "By the way, my name is David.

"Sarah," I said as I smiled.

He carried our baby in its layette, giving me a little relief.

I saw a Union Jack curled around a pole in the direction we were walking.

---

This story is dedicated to all the heroes, known and unknown, great and small, in this situation and others who, in the face of collective or individual hate, did the right thing by saving someone from the crowd, or at least tried to.

The posting date is the anniversary of the Sobibor Revolt, October 14, 1943. This successful revolt resulted in the demolition of the death camp, showing no superficial sign that the camp had been there. I believe that the demolition proved that the German authorities knew what they were doing was wrong.

This story idea comes from a review by ApesMa of my story, "The Trial."

I wish to thank my editor, Norman O Johnson.

Same Blouse

by shalimar

There are times when Gabriel and I go out to those dance clubs that we score with the girls, other times one of us gets the action while the other gets to see the girl leave alone, or with another guy. Sometimes neither of us gets the brass ring. Tonight was one of those losing nights. What I don't understand about him is that he is so good looking that all the girls should be falling all over him. As for me, I would be considered an excellent consolation prize.

"No luck tonight," I said to Gunny as I grabbed my jacket in this early Fall night to head off to my home.

"No, James," he replied as he also got ready to leave. "We struck out tonight, and when we came in it looked like the bases were loaded."

I was always called James. It was never Jim, Jimmy or anything like that.

"See you in the morning then," he told me.

"I'll be there bright or early," I added with a grin.

As I was a little drunk that night, what I just said was accurate. I didn't know if I could get into work on time or if I did make it early would I have a hangover? Either of those two scenarios seemed to occur too often lately. The result this time was two hours late. I stayed late to make up the time, but my boss, Carole gave me a lecture again.

Working together is a plus. We work in a bank call center selling products on the customer's credit card that the customer doesn't really want. Yes, you guessed it we are telemarketers. The fact that we have been doing this for a few years means that we both make very good money. Gunny owns a house near work and I own a townhouse a little further simply by persuading those who don't want something to buy it.

Gunny, as Gabriel likes to be called, and I met in the same training class when we first started in this company five years ago. Immediately we started dating women from the place. His first encounter was an employee that eventually became a supervisor. She cut the relationship between them because of her promotion. Mine ended because it just didn't seem right between us. We stayed friends. She got married and finally quit her job at our place to take the job of mommy.

So this night I decided to go home and turned in, but that alarm in the morning still woke me way too early. I took a shower, shaved and got dressed in my usual business casual that we are allowed to wear at the call center, and then I drove the ten miles to the office. After I parked, I went to the cafeteria and got my usual breakfast of eggs, toast, bacon and home fries when I get to work on time. As usual, Gunny was right behind me on the short line. His order included cheese melted on his eggs. We talked a little as we waited for our order. It seemed like it would be a typical day at work.

However, when we started working it was the start of some strange things that began to happen. About a half an hour later, Gloria, one of my team coworkers, arrived. She is a very beautiful girl and always dresses sexy. I get a hard on just looking at those luscious curves she has. I had tried for her at one time, but I was already too late. She was engaged at the time and now is married. Gunny and I were at her wedding. They are going to have some gorgeous children, as her husband's looks are even better than Gunny or mine.

"Hey, James," Gunny told me. "You and Gloria are wearing the same thing!"

I looked at what my best friend was talking about and saw that we were both wearing yellow short sleeve knits. But that's the only thing that was the same with what we were wearing. Mine was an Izod with three buttons. Her knit, which I later found out is called a keyhole, showed her breasts nicely. Also, I don't wear skirts, and hers was about two inches above the knee.

"They're just the same color," I responded.

"Do you shop in the Misses department or do you use the boutiques?"
Gloria asked me.

We all laughed and went back to work. I did well that day and received a daily bonus that added to my income. What bothered me though occurred when I needed to use the bathroom that afternoon. While washing my hands I noticed in the mirror that somehow my shirt had turned into the same blouse that Gloria wore. Stranger still was the fact that nobody other than Gunny noticed anything different either before or after I used the bathroom, or at least nobody said anything, except Gloria.

"We can't wear the same thing," she said when I was leaving for the day. "Let me know the next time you are going to wear that blouse."

"Well, yeah," I said, embarrassed.

"Although I AM jealous," she continued. "You look fabulous."

I smiled. For some reason I liked what she told me. However, when I got home I immediately took off that "blouse" and looked for something that was more masculine. When I looked in my dresser drawer I was shocked. What I was wearing might just be the most masculine shirt in that drawer. In fact, you definitely could say many were blouses. There were those with buttons were on the "wrong" side. There were feminine collars and sleeves. Some even had the breast darts. Determined to buy some shirts later that week, I put my "blouse" back on, had dinner and watched some television before going to bed early and starting the same routine again of waking up sleep and getting ready for work.

After getting breakfast and starting work, Gunny said to me, "I didn't know you wore nail polish."

I looked at my hands and sure enough there was ruby red nail polish on my nails. I tried to hide my hands throughout the day, but several of the women came to me and said how the polish made my hands look prettier. For some reason, I actually liked hearing those comments. By the time I left for the day I had changed my mind about removing the polish.

Before I left work, I made arrangements with Gunny to meet him at the club that evening. On the way home I bought some more of that nail polish and some polish remover for when my polish started to get ratty. But how did I know what color to get?

Again we danced with a few of the girls that night. Again neither of us scored. But what surprised me that early Fall night was I felt that I should be dancing with Gunny instead of the other girls and I didn't get a hard on like I usually do when I danced with some of those beauties. We also talked more with each other than usual. I kind of liked talking to him more as the night wore on. I know I'm not gay.
I've always only liked women as possible partners. What was happening to me?

So after 3AM, I put on my jacket and went home without any woman on my arm. Again the alarm greeted me way too soon, but I this time managed to crawl out of bed and take a shower. I was happy that I would make it in on time that morning. After the shower I stopped with foam on my hands seeing that I already had a smooth face. I can get five-o'clock shadow at noon, so I was surprised. I hoped I wasn't getting sick. I looked at the shaving cream on my hand and decided to shave my underarms and legs instead. When I finished I lifted my arms and looked in the mirror. I looked better, at least to me. I know I shouldn't look that scraggily there. Maybe I'll use electrolysis or laser to remove the hair permanently. Why would I be thinking that way?

I chose a blouse in cherry with a scooped neck and bell sleeves. When I looked in the mirror I realized how pretty and feminine I looked. I liked what I saw. Yet looking feminine confused me because I'm supposed to be a man.

I normally get to work early and the five minutes that I spent wondering about my smooth face didn't cost me any work time. I got my breakfast and as usual, Gabriel was right behind me.

"Hi!" he said.

"Hi!" I said smiling at him.

I was actually glad to see him. Why was I thinking of him as a lover instead of a best friend?

"Nice blouse," he said.

"Thank you," I said, as I curtsied.

What did I just do?

"That shave looks real close," he said as he rubbed my face lightly with his forefinger. "I don't even feel any hint of stubble."

His finger moving on my face that way gave me the chills. I liked the compliment. In fact, I remember having a bigger smile on my face.

As usual, about a half hour later Gloria came in. She complimented me on my choice of blouse then my excellent complexion. I don't know what I am doing differently, but I liked the look. The compliments also felt good. The feeling that my complexion was good also helped my confidence and I did better than on most of my good days.

Yes this work can be easy or hard. Some days it is like falling off a log and other days it is like trying to stay on that log. On the way home that night I bought some skin lotion to help keep my complexion in this good condition. I used it that night and in the morning, covering my entire body with it.

Also, that night I had a salad that quickly filled me up followed by watching TV. Instead of watching a show on ESPN or SPIKE, I was watching a movie on the Women's Entertainment channel. The movie was wonderful. I even shed some tears at the end. They were happy tears, as I noticed I was smiling. In the morning I started my routine again. The first thing I did was relieve myself. For some reason I sat down to pee, and I have not stood to pee since. There was nothing else peculiar that day except:

"I noticed you were in the stall often today. Having diarrhea?" Gunny asked.

"Yeah," I lied.

How did he know I was sitting down?

Later, Gloria gave me a Midol to help me with my "problem." How did she know?

Feigning sickness, I begged off going to the club that night. Gloria decided to take off early and go to the store with me so I could get tampons and pads. I was embarrassed but for some reason I went along with my new purchases and knew that I would eventually need to use them.

Gunny called me that night. It was sweet of him to call.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, just my time of the month," I replied.

Again I lied. What's going on? Especially THAT lie.

"Should I get some take out and bring it over?" he asked.

"I'm not in the mood for talking," I told him. "And I can't eat anything heavy."

"I'll talk for the both of us and I'll get a pizza and a salad. I'll have most of the pizza and you'll have most of the salad."

True to his word he was over at my place in about forty minutes. I picked at the salad and had maybe a half a slice of pizza. For most of the night I leaned on Gabriel and listened to him talk. Sometimes he held me. Both positions were warm, comforting feelings. When he left I had hopes that we would be in that situation many times in the future.

He wanted to stay, but I told him a bloody girl isn't a pleasant scene to watch. When I used the word "bloody" he got squeamish. He quickly agreed that he should go.

"Maybe I should take you to work in the morning?" he asked as he got his jacket.

He's so considerate.

"No," I replied. "I'll be OK."

When he left I thought and I was feeling confused. I know how life used to be before these changes started. Somebody was doing this to me without my permission. No matter what the reason is, he or she has no right to do this to me. On the other hand, I had to admit that like these changes. I am actually happier because of them. If I ever find out who is doing this to me I won't know if I should thank the person or ring his or her neck. Maybe I'll thank and choke the person at the same time.

As I began to expect, there was another change in the morning. All my underpants had changed into panties. Not many of them were white like my underpants. I also had pinks, reds, grays, yellows, blues, purples, greens, blacks and colors in between. Some had lace. Some were merely thongs. Some were low cut. Some were high tops. They all looked so sexy that I didn't know what to wear. While I thought, I put on a lavender blouse that allowed me to make a pretty bow in front. And so, I put on lavender high top panties with lace.

On the ride in I thought about who could be doing these changes to me. First, I thought about previous girlfriends, and with the exception of Tammy, our breakups were either amicable or initiated by the girl. But Tammy met her future husband a few weeks after we broke up and as far as I know she is happy. Besides that happened over a year ago. None of the others had any motive. I didn't remember anyone that I met recently that I had angered. One of the customers I dealt with could have done this, but I couldn't think of anyone that I angered lately. I doubted that the practitioner of magic was one of them.

That left my coworkers. As far as I knew no one had any malice towards me. The only three that made any sense was Gabriel, Gloria, and Carole. I couldn't see how it would make any difference to Carole either way, so she would have been the least likely of the three. For Gloria and Gabriel they would have been doing it for my benefit. At least the Wicked Witch of the West wasn't involved. But I could be assuming the intentions of the person doing the magic to me. And by assuming I could be making an ass of myself, and end up braying like a donkey.

But which one was doing this to me, and more important, exactly why? So I decided that I would confront both of them that day. How to do that without sounding like someone who just volunteered to go to the rubber room consumed the rest of my drive.

As we waited for our breakfasts I asked Gunny, "Have you noticed anything different about me lately?"

"As a matter fact I have," he answered.

Ah, ha!

"You seem to look prettier each day for a while now," he continued.
"And you seem happier. Whatever it is that you're doing keep it up because I like the new you."

I smiled at that and instinctively blinked my eyes in appreciation. When I looked down at his crotch I noticed he was keeping it up for me.

'Yes, please,' I thought. 'Keep it up for me.'

I don't think it's him.

Gloria came in just as I was finishing a call. I quickly logged off and pulled her aside so that no one else could hear.

"Gloria," I asked. "Have you noticed anything different about me lately?"

"I've seen that you have been dressing sexier lately," she told me. "I also see that you're happier and that you're with Gabriel more. I assume by the way you asked that question that you are not inviting me to a wedding, yet."

"Not yet," I replied. "But you will be in the wedding party if we get that far."

"Well, he's a good man. I hope you catch him."

"Yeah," I said, looking at Gunny.

I had a silly grin on my face as I went back to work. I still didn't know which of the two were doing this to me, but I now knew that I would end up getting Gunny.

When I woke up the next morning I did my usual shower. Looking in the mirror as I fixed my hair I thought that my face needed something extra, but what? I shook off the idea as just my imagination.

I arrived at work and asked Gunny as we were getting breakfast, "Do I need anything on my face?"

"Not that I could think of," he answered. "You're pretty the way you are."

I smiled. He called me pretty. Yet it was still not normal for a guy to be thought of as pretty. It was weird, yet nice. I wondered why I was accepting this so easily. We started work, and as usual, Gloria came in that half hour later.

She took one look at me and said, "Where's your makeup?"

I looked at her as if she was crazy.

"Come on," she told me as she grabbed my arm. "You'll use mine."

I had just finished a call so I logged off and followed her. We went to the bathroom and made me sit on the lounge couch. When was this put in the bathroom? I didn't know there was even enough room for it.

She took some of her makeup and started to apply it. She took a can of wax and put a bit on my face.

"See how your face is smoother where I put it on?"

I compared the waxed area with another part of my face, smiled and said, "Yeah."

She finished and put a little cream over the wax.

"Fortunately, you have the same shading as I do," she told me

She then took out a purple powder and with a brush applied the color to my eyelids. Later I found out it was called lavender. Next she took out a pencil and tried to line my eyes.

"NO!" I replied backing up a bit. "I can't do this to my eyes. It is like a major phobia."

"OK," she responded. "No eyeliner."

Mascara was relatively easy, except I strained to keep my eyes open until it dried.

Quickly she put the blush on in three different shades. She blended the three nicely into each other. This was followed by lip liner and lipstick.

"Now, don't let me see you without any makeup again," she said as she turned me around to look in the mirror.

WOW! I wasn't pretty. I was gorgeous. This was with some makeup that was just barely there.

"This is great!" I said as we left the bathroom. "But I don't have any makeup."

"Want to go to the mall after work?" she asked. "I'll help you get some stuff there."

"OK," I replied.

I figured I needed to work that half hour that she stayed later than I usually did. No problem, it helped me pay for the goodies I bought that evening. As I sat down at my workstation I realized that I just gone into the women's restroom and no one that was in there thought that I shouldn't belong, not even me. From that time forward I never again used the men's toilets at work or any other public place.

After work, we went to the cosmetic counters at Macy*s where one of the salesladies made me up. Again, I just loved the way I looked after she was done. I spent about $200 on the cosmetics. I was hoping that I could do the job as well as either Gloria or the saleslady. On the way out of the store we stopped at the jewelry counters, where I bought a heart necklace for me.

The next day I came in and did my work as usual. Later at lunch I ate with Gunny. The difference today was that I felt a need to be with him as if I was going to be an essential part of his life. I felt the need to care for him by cleaning and cooking and other chores and I felt the need to be protected by him and be in his strong arms. I left for the evening and made arrangements to meet Gunny at the club. That night when we danced, we danced together as if I was his girl. Somehow, I liked the idea of belonging to him, and the strangeness of the situation seemed to become less important as the night wore on.

In the morning, I had already expected to see another change. It was not until I got to my underwear drawer that I found that change. There were bras of every kind and color imaginable with some that were better shown than imagined. I frowned when I noticed that the cup size was small. They were all A's, but many of the bras were padded. I took one of the padded bras and hoped that it would show some curves on the top. I put on a maroon knit with a deep V-neck and looked in the mirror. What I showed was some nice cleavage. The only problem was that there was nothing in those cups. I sighed. How I wish I had some breasts. Although there was nothing in those cups at the time, I kept the bra and top on then put on a nice pair of slacks and finished with some makeup. In the old days I would have wanted to meet the pretty young lady that was staring me back from the mirror. Now I was proud to be that pretty girl.

I drove into work. By the time I arrived, I felt the slight tug on my shoulders from my little breasts pressing on that bra. I saw Gunny arrive just ahead of me and I walked a little slower so that I could surprise him with the way I looked after I would take off my jacket. When I was next to him I noticed that he was paying a lot of attention to my new assets. He was actually talking to my breasts instead of me. I noticed that little Gunny was at attention. Although the first was disconcerting, the second was actually pleasing as I noticed my nipples got all pointy just noticing that and I felt more than a little warm.

When I told Gloria what had happened she said to me, "You want him to fuck you, don't you, girl."

Just thinking of what she said made me sigh and say, "Yeah."

I was happy as a schoolgirl talking about her new boyfriend. I was also feeling a little wet around the crotch and I also knew that I couldn't keep any secret from my new close friend.

That night I realized that I was now happily anticipating the changes. I wanted to be whole. I needed to be all woman. That included both the proper primary sex organs and being XX instead of XY. I felt it was my destiny to be not only a woman, but also Gabriel's woman. I saw that my future would include caring for him and to bring up our children. Just then I felt a need for him to call me, and when the phone rang I knew it was Gunny.

"I was just thinking about you," I told him.

"I hope it was good thoughts," he noted.

"Well..." I said. "Just talking to you make things better."

We talked for hours, and when we finally said goodbye, I noticed my nipples were all hard and pointy. I smiled as I thought of him taking me to his bed and ravishing me.
.
In the morning while dressing I noticed my sox were now either stockings or pantyhose. I chose a pair of high top pantyhose in a color called beige mist. When I rolled them up on my legs, I noticed how smooth it made my legs feel. My still male shoes felt like they still fit despite the thinness of my stockings in comparison to the sox I used to wear. The blouse I wore was a translucent cream with darts and a bow. Because the blouse was translucent I decoded to wear a lacy bra because I wanted to get Gunny's attention. I looked in the mirror as I put on my makeup, and when I finished, again I saw that pretty young lady that was me. As I walked to my car the movement of my legs encased in the pantyhose sent delicious tingles through me and made me feel sexy.

I arrived at work, grabbed some oatmeal and milk and threw the oatmeal in the microwave. While I was cooking my cereal, Gunny came up to me.

He put his hand on my back and asked me, "Could you come to the club tonight? I want to do some dancing."

"OK," I squeaked.

I was leaning onto his hand and enjoying his touch as he guided me to the table that we sat down and ate.

That night I was Gunny's exclusive partner. He walked to the club so at the end of the night I drove him the five blocks to his home. When we stopped in his driveway, he leaned over and kissed me. After I got over my surprise, I released my seatbelt and kissed back with everything I had. He put his arm around me and I put mine around his neck.

'Please,' I thought. 'Don't let this kiss end.'

The kiss lasted almost long enough. My tiny breasts pushed as hard as they could into the padding of my bra. When the kiss ended, he got out of the car and slowly made his way to his front door. I saw him looking back towards me as he walked. When he finally went inside, I sat in the car for about a minute thinking of the evening. I was content.

In the morning I noticed that my waist was smaller and my hips were bigger. While I showered I hoped that my slacks would fit. I needn't have worried, as somehow they had magically changed and fit me like a glove, literally. I had some difficulty pulling the pair I chose over my hips, but when I looked in the mirror after I put everything on, I looked hot. The slacks looked like they were painted on. They were (giggle). I knew that I could have any available man that I wanted, but I knew I only wanted one man, Gabriel, and I was determined to make sure that he was mine and only mine.

Gunny and I arrived at work at the same time and we parked our cars next to each other. When we entered the building he held the door open for me. I smiled at him for being such a gentleman. We had breakfast together and later lunch. During breakfast I told him how much I enjoyed the previous night.

"I want our relationship to continue and grow," I told him.

"I hope it does, James," he said as he smiled. "I like what is happening to us."

"So do I," added with a smile.

I also liked what was happening to me. But what he said made me think.
He didn't sound like he was the one doing the magic on me. Was I seeing things clearly or was I just hoping that he wasn't the magic practitioner.

I didn't note any change the next day when I woke up and got dressed.
It seemed like all my changes had been done and I would be this way forever. However, when I arrived at work one of the men held the door for me as we walked in.

I was appreciative of what he did and I said, "Thank you."

It was sweet of him. "Sweet." Thinking of that word in that way is a feminine concept. A man would think that holding a door for him is a nice gesture, but not "sweet." I realized that I was thinking as a woman. My brain was then, and forever after, female and I liked it.

I told Gloria that a man had held the door for me today and how it made me feel. It was different, yet it felt right. It seemed that Gloria was rapidly becoming my close friend and confidant. In a matter of a few short weeks we seem to share things like sisters. She was telling me more about her life at home with her husband. Apparently, they were trying to have a baby. As a result of that revelation I couldn't concentrate on my work all day as I fantasized having a baby growing in me, Gabriel's baby. I didn't care that I had one of my worst day's productions in months. To me the jobs of wife and mommy would be more important.

That night, Gunny called and I told him what I was thinking. It didn't seem to scare him.

In fact, at one time in our conversation he asked me, "Would you like me to get you pregnant?"

"I would love to have your children, Gabriel," I replied.

The next morning I looked in my closet deciding what to wear. For the first time my choices included skirts and dresses. I pulled out a hot looking black skirt with four-inch ruffles on the hem that came to just above my knees. With the translucent white blouse I was wearing I definitely looked sexy. In my mind there was only one man I wanted to look sexy for, Gabriel. When I arrived at work I was a few minutes ahead of Gabriel. I had already sat down to eat when he finished getting his food. We sat and talk a bit before going to our workstations. When I stood up I noticed his appreciative gasp.

"Wow!" he exclaimed. "You look great! What did you do different?"

"I'm wearing a skirt today," I replied as I twirled around. "Do you like it?"

The skirt billowed out as I turned.

"OH, YEAH!" he replied.

I also noticed that little Gunny also liked what I was wearing.

When I left for the day I realized that I liked the feeling of wearing a skirt. I actually felt free in the skirt. I don't know how to explain it any better than that. It was hard to believe that wearing a skirt for the first time was such a liberating experience. Until the temperature drops to below freezing in a month or two I then knew that I would be wearing skirts from that time on because wearing a dress or a skirt had just become a part of who I am.

The next morning I hadn't noticed any further changes until I was already driving to work in my car. My pocketbook was sitting on the passenger seat next to me. I had swung it over my shoulder after taking out my keys to lock my front door then walked to my car and put it on the passenger seat and started to drive without realizing anything was different.

In a way it wasn't much of a difference. It is just another piece of accessory that I really need. Nothing, except a bra, or a skirt says female more than a purse. Almost no man carries a purse except for that waist pouch thingy. It is as an important accessory as any piece of jewelry on a woman. Mine was black, which went nicely with my white dress with the black belt. I looked so sweet and innocent, although because of what I was thinking, you couldn't call me innocent.

In the morning while I was thinking of what to wear I noticed my shoes.
I must have about fifty different pairs in my closet. There were three and four inch pumps, flats, one and two inch heels, sneakers, and sandals. There were boots, courts, Mary Janes, mules, platforms, slides, and slingbacks. They had straps and were strapless. Some had open toes some covered the entire foot. There were all the possible styles a girl could want, and I was that girl. I put my hand to my chest and gasped at the variety that was waiting for me to wear. Somehow I knew that although I wouldn't walk a lot at work I would still be better off with a rubber soled black pair with a 1 1/2 inch wedge that went well with the outfit I was wearing that day. It was pretty but not something that would be called sexy. My need for comfort outweighed my need to have my feet look that sexy for the few minutes that Gunny would see my legs.

When I arrived at work, Gunny suggested that we go dancing again that night. I readily accepted and gave him a kiss. It was a sensual kiss and we ignored all the "Oohhs" and "Ahs" that the others in the cafeteria gave us. The fact that I could feel his member growing made me want him to continue, but as we were already at work we decided to do our jobs instead.

That night we went to the club and I wore a dress 2" above my knees and 3 " pumps with ankle straps. The extra height made me almost as tall as Gabriel. During the fast dances I purposely rubbed my behind against his member. During the slow dances I stayed close to him. Many times my head lay on his shoulder. We stayed late that night as I didn't want to let him go and I sensed the feeling was mutual.

The next day we were off, so Gloria and I went to the mall. We passed Bath & Body Works and I asked Gloria if we could go in. The inside of the store smelled Heavenly. I decided on two scents, gardenia and cotton blossom. I bought the soap, bath oil, lotion and spray for both scents. I was financially poorer, but looking forward to the luxurious bath I would take on my next day off.

The rest of the time we looked at clothing, jewelry, pocketbooks and accessories. At one booth in the mall isle I tried on a hat and Gloria laughed. I looked in the mirror and also giggled. I looked ridiculous in that hat, so I put it on Gloria. She looked just as silly. We tried some more hats. Finally she found one that looked great on her.

"That one is just you," I told her.

"You really like it?" she asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

She looked in the mirror and smiled.

"How much?" she asked.

When the saleslady told her she put it on her card.

We tried on some of the other clothes, but neither of us liked what we saw in the mirror. Driving home from the mall I realized it was fun shopping with my good friend.

But there was this dark lining on my silver cloud. I still didn't know who had been responsible for these changes to me. I didn't think it was fair that I was being changed without my permission. Yes, I enjoyed the changes. Yes, I liked my close friendship with Gloria. Yes, I like the growing closeness with Gabriel. Yes, I am happier this way, and yes, I even looked forward to the next change. BUT whoever is doing this to me HAD NO RIGHT to do this without me accepting these changes. These thought made me angry, and I cried.

In the morning I woke up and sat down to pee like I've been doing recently and noticed that I no longer needed to use my hands at least until I needed to clean myself. I had free hands because now I have a vagina instead of my former penis. After I relieved myself I took a shower. I soaped myself and had an easy time of it until I reached my new vaginal lips. I was getting hornier and hotter as I soaped myself down there. I managed to clean myself enough and dried myself off. I still needed to explore my new opening so I got into my bed and I lied down for what I thought would be only a few minutes and started stroking my vagina. With each stroke I went in a little further. As I pounded down on my fingers I noticed my inner thigh muscles were "sucking" what ever it could into me. I came and came and came. The waves timed from those muscles ended as explosions in my head. I eventually came down from that pinnacle.

After what seemed forever in bliss, my wits told me to check the time. If I got fully dressed quickly and drove a little too fast and made the lights right I might get to work on time, but I smelled very female. I needed to take another shower or maybe a bath. There was no way I was going into work in this condition. After I called in "sick," I decided to repeat what I did. This time I started with my breasts that got all pointy while my vagina got wet. This time the experience was not as intense, but was still very nice. I felt like I needed something bigger in there than my fingers could give me.

I slept for about an hour then gave myself a scented bath bubble from my purchase at Bath and Body Works. The bath was relaxing and felt sensuous. My breasts kept popping out of the water and I had a tough time not playing with them or my happy opening down below. I patted myself off like I've been doing since my skin became so smooth. I put on a white bra with lace, a white silk blouse with puffy sleeves and a man style collar, white lacy panties and a black skirt that reached to about one inch above my knees. The skirt had white flowers on the right side starting about mid thigh and ending near the hem. My black pantyhose and three inch spiked heals finished my ensemble. After fixing my makeup I added that heart necklace. Looking in my full-length mirror I thought I looked foxy.

Grabbing my purse, I waked calmly to my car and drove to the sex shop that was about half way between my home and work. I was nervous walking into the place. The salesman's leer didn't help matters.

Regaining my confidence I told him, "I need a dildo."

He came around the counter and showed me where they were.

"Do you have any suggestion?" I asked.

"Most women want them a little larger," he explained. "And they prefer a vibrator. This one has both features."

He picked up a delicious looking one. I looked at the package and read what was involved. A couple of "C" cells made it move. I decided to buy it and whipped out my credit card.

He looked at the name and asked, "Is this your husband's card?"

I was a little flustered, but eventually I said, "Yes."

I still had time, so I went to the mall and looked at the jewelry. When I saw this sapphire necklace I knew I had to buy it. After he told me the price I negotiated a bit and I believe I got a good price. I pulled out the cash to pay for it. Looking some more, I saw this bangle that also looked nice on me. On the way home I picked up a jewelry box.

When I finally got home about mid afternoon I decided to try out my new toy. I was right. It was better with something larger and the vibration made it easier for me to cum. When I finally came down from this exquisite pounding I turned off the machine and stroked the love shaft. As I did I thought of Gabriel and hoped that he would be better than my new toy.

Concerned, Gabriel called me that evening after work. As we talked I felt guilty about what I did that day. I felt like I cheated on him, but he never said I was his girlfriend. I have needs that he should be able to fulfill. One of those needs was for him proclaiming that I belonged to him and that he loves me.

But what about my love for him? Am I as afraid to love him and commit myself to him, as he is afraid to do for me? If I did commit to someone he would need to be a loving and as sweet as Gabriel. He would need to care for me and ours. Could I do better than Gunny? I don't know but I could easily do a lot worse.

The next day I didn't notice any change in me until I got to work and ordered my breakfast. My voice was higher. It sounded strange to my ears, but nice.

When Gabriel came in and he sat down in front of me I asked him, "How does my voice sound?"

"As beautiful as ever," he replied. "Just like the rest of you."

I blushed. I liked what he said. He couldn't be the one doing these changes, or he wouldn't have replied that way. I am glad because I don't know if I could love someone who would do magic on someone else without that person's permission.

When I asked Gloria she told me, "Just like always, very sexy. You have the guys eating out of your hands when you sell. And that sexy voice will get you Gabriel, if you want him."

"I do," I mouthed so that Gunny wouldn't hear. "I do. I do. I do."

Nothing appeared to change the following morning. As I had the day off I puttered around the townhouse, cleaning and doing other chores that I need to do, but can't on days that I work because the job takes too much of my time. Later that morning, I planned meals for the week and then went food shopping. The day seemed to go faster than I expected because it was past my lunchtime when I finished and sat down to eat a small sandwich.

Gabriel worked that day. He called me when he left work.

"Jasmine?" he said. "It's me, Gabriel."

Jasmine is a good name. I like it. The word is a pretty scent.

"Hi, lover boy," I replied. "What ya doing tonight?"

"I don't know," he replied. "Do you have anything in mind?"

"I could make us dinner," I suggested. "Would fish be alright?"

"Sounds good to me," he told me.

"You might get here before I get back from the fish store. Just wait ten minutes."

"OK, Honey," he replied.

As we hung up the phone I realized he called me "Honey."

Quickly I got to the fish store and bought the fish. I pulled out my credit card to pay for it and I found that it no longer said "James" on it. It said, "Jasmine."

The dinner was good and we relaxed on the couch afterwards. I curled up in his arms and loved the warm feeling he gave me on that colder than normal Autumn night. When he finally left I was reminded of the quote from Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet," "Parting is such sweet sorrow."

The next day was an unusual day, at least in comparison to what happened recently. I knew something had changed, yet nothing seemed to come to mind. As I lay my head against my pillow that night I realized what the change was. I was now genetically female. If someone had tested every one of my cells that scientist would find out my chromosomes were XX, not XY like I had previously. How I knew that without an empirical test was a mystery, but I could feel it instinctively. Call it woman's intuition if you like.

What it meant that physically James was no more and I would be Jasmine for the rest of my life. James didn't really die. He will live on in my memories. Some of my actions will still be as a result of me having been James. For example I still like football. I would still play a game of touch football. I don't think I would be the quarterback anymore. I want to be tackled. Maybe I would be the wide receiver. Yet my whole being in some respects started to become Jasmine's point of view the day my transformation started. If I had the choice now I think I would still choose to be Jasmine even though I still believed that because I never had that choice the one who did this to me was wrong.

As I arrived at work the next day Carole stopped me before I logged on to the telephone.

"Would like to join us at our weekly luncheon tomorrow?" she asked.

"I'd love to," I replied.

When I passed Gloria I told her. I would be one of the girls and I liked that idea. That luncheon was a tradition at our call center. Six to twelve women got together every Thursday. When they came back from their two-hour lunch most of those who were not supervisors usually made sales much better than their normal average. The supervisors gave the other girls 'one-on-one" training time on their time sheets. When I was still male I was jealous that we guys didn't do something similar. Now as "lucky" number thirteen I would know what these training sessions were about.
.
We started gathering outside the women's bathroom about noon. Our group of ten were finally ready a quarter after. We went to a diner about a mile from the building, and the first thing we did was order. Most of us, including me, had a salad.

As we waited for our lunch Carole told us about an incident involving her children that happened that last week, "Mark came to me and told me I had to see something. When I asked him what it was he said, 'Just come.' He took me to the doorframe of our baby's room. She was throwing all her toys out of the crib. The twins were doing a good job tossing them back into the crib. Once Little Barbara caught the plushy and promptly threw it back. Once she fell on her bottom as she tried to catch it. The three of them were laughing the whole time. Mark put his arm around me and I snuggled into him as we watched. I whispered to him, 'This is worth every diaper we ever changed.' After a while Barbara saw us watching and pointed at us. Just then Riche's aim got Barbara on the head. Startled, she started to cry so I ran to our baby and picked her up. I heard Riche apologize to Mark. Mark told him that it was all right, but he needs to be more careful. 'Besides, you're apologizing to the wrong person,' he told Riche. 'You need to apologize to Barbara.' Riche then said, 'OK, daddy.' He came to me and said, ‘I sorry, Barbie.’ And gave her a kiss on the cheek."

Tasha said, "That is worth more than those diapers."

Everyone agreed.

Becky then asked Gloria, "Any news?"

"No," Gloria replied. "We're still trying. I hope to have good news next week."

"How long have you been trying," I asked.

"This is the second month," she told me. "He's making me feel really sexy, and he's getting what he wants also."

"And you're not?" Dianne asked.

"Let's say it was more than nice."

Everyone giggled, but my giggles became tears. I was happy for them, but I needed the same things they had. I needed that love of a man, in this case Gabriel. I needed him to be my husband and I wasn't sure that it was going to happen. I also needed to have that family that Carole had and Gloria was trying to have.

"I am truly happy for you, Carole," I said through my tears. "What you have is great and I hope you continue to have that. And Gloria I hope I can sponsor a baby shower for you very soon. But nothing is happening with Gabriel. I need him to make his move."

"Do you need him to put a rock on your finger?" Sylvia asked. "Or at least a promise to go rock hunting at one of the jewelers?"

After I figured out what she meant, I simply said, "Yes."

"Tomorrow we're off. What we'll do is get you a hot dress so you can get what you want from him. Promise," Gloria said. "And I'll give you some advice also."

"We all will," Sylvia added.

I leaned on Gloria's shoulder and whispered, "Thank you."

"Let me clean your makeup up," Dianne told me. "Why is it that waterproof mascara only comes off with a good cry?"

When we got back to work after the lunch I sold much better that I usually did. Later I realized that what we did at that restaurant was just relax and become the real women that we are, instead of the robot-like workers we are forced to be for the rest of the forty plus hours we work. If I was still a man and we tried to do the same thing it wouldn't work. There would still be too much competition.

Gloria called me at 9 AM the next morning, and we decided that to get that hot dress for me to go dancing in that night we would go to the mall. Gloria arrived about an hour later and we drove towards the mall, but she insisted on making a slight detour on the way. We stopped at an upscale fashion boutique in one of the richer communities near where we work. I was glad for the detour. In the window was this beautiful dress that looked like georgette or silk. It was black with small violet flowers seemingly embroidered in sections around the dress. It had spaghetti straps that held the black triangles above the breasts. Depending on the height of the girl, the hem went from about one inch below the knee in the center to three inches above on the sides. If that dress looked as good on me as it does on that manikin I will HAVE TO HAVE IT!

After admiring it and the necklace that apparently went with that dress, we entered the store and asked the saleslady to show me the dress in my size. I looked at the label and saw it was 100% silk. I didn't want to look at the price tag. I knew it would cost me a lot more than I was willing to spend. Oh well. You live only once.

I tried it on, and Gloria helped me zip it up my back. It was a good fit. I didn't have the proper bra for the dress, but if I liked what I saw I will need to get a strapless.

"WOW!" Gloria exclaimed. "You look great!"

I went out of the dressing room and looked in the mirror as I turned from side to side to see my back. Granted the shoes and bra were wrong, granted I had no stockings, but I looked hot and sexy. I loved it.

"Could I try on the necklace you have with it in the window?" I asked as noncommittal as my voice could muster.

"Of course," the saleslady replied.

She got a duplicate from out of the display case as she calculated her commission.

It was silver with cultured black pearls. Gloria helped me put it on and I looked at my reflection in the mirror. Sold!

I took off that dress and after putting it back on the hanger I looked at the price tag. It was nearly $600.

"OH MY!"

$600.

"OH! MY!"

There were still the shoes the bra and the stockings to get!

"OH MY!"

And I should get the wrap that goes with the dress.

"OH MY!"

But I had plenty of room on my card, so I bought the dress, necklace, and wrap.

We traveled the few miles further to the mall. Just to make sure I got the right colors I took the wrap with me. I know, black is black, but I wanted to make sure. I bought a black strapless bra and panty set at Victoria's Secret, as well as black stockings that had a slight flower pattern on it and a black garter belt. Gloria said the stockings would go well with the dress.

"Would you like a set for you to wear in front of your husband?" I asked Gloria.

"Well," she replied, hungrily eyeing the merchandise.

"I'm paying for it," I insisted. "Besides it might help you create that baby."

That was the clincher. A few minutes later she had found the right sizes for herself and I whipped out my credit card again.

At Baker's I saw this darling two inch black pump with ankle straps. Checking with the stocking and the wrap we thought it would go well with the outfit. Next was a trip to Zales to get some diamond-looped earrings, a diamond bracelet and a silver ankle bracelet.

We then went to, Sylvia, Gloria's favorite hairdresser, where I received a wash, set and some coloring in my hair that I was told was highlights. While Sylvia was doing my hair, Eileen did my nails and Martina did my face. While this was happening, Gloria was receiving the same treatment. When I finally looked at the results I knew that my mantrap ensemble would be complete when I entered that dance club that night. I paid for both treatments including a hefty tip for the girls to share.

When I got home I called Gabriel.

"Gunny, could I drive to your place and you drive us to the club? It would be nicer that way."

"Sure," he replied.

"Thanks. I feel better," I told him.

"Would you like me to pick you up?"

"No, I'll be there in about an hour."

Before getting dressed for the evening, I packed a small suitcase just in case I could find an excuse to stay with Gabriel that night. I definitely wanted to find an excuse for me to stay with him. I threw in the suitcase a pair of black jeans that were bell-bottom hip huggers and had a red flower pattern embroidered down the right leg. Then I added a translucent white top that had ruffles on the sleeves and down the neck. In also went the black flats with the two-inch soft soles. The white bra and panties finished the ensemble. I then added my liquid soap, shampoo, toothbrush, hairbrush and makeup that would be good on me with these clothes into the pockets and sides of the suitcase. I then checked to make sure I remembered everything, and I was glad I did. I had no nightgown, so I put a sexy one in that I hoped would not be on me too long that night. I also put in my small jar of cold cream to take off the makeup I had on. Finally, put in a box of Trojans. I was determined to get my fill that night.

After my suitcase was done I got out of my clothes and started a bath. I put the gardenia-scented bubbles in that bath and soaked. I dried myself off when I got out and put on some of the gardenia-scented lotion. I put on the garter belt first, and then my black panties and bra I had just bought. The stockings with the flowers came next, and I added the silver ankle bracelet over my right ankle. I then slipped into that black dress. I zipped it up then put on the remaining jewelry.

I looked in the mirror. I looked hot! That dress is going to be worth the price I paid for it. It is definitely a mantrap dress. I put on the shoes and looked in the mirror again.

"Gabriel, you're mine," I thought.

I checked my pocketbook and saw that everything I needed was there, except...I decided that some of those Trojans should be in my bag, so I opened the suitcase again and put three of those little love aids into my purse. Now I was ready. I put on my long black leather coat then put my pocketbook over my shoulder and carried the suitcase to my car. I put the suitcase in the trunk, as I didn't want Gunny to know that I wanted him THAT MUCH that night. I wanted him to think it was his idea, at least until he carried my suitcase in his house.

I parked at the curb just outside his home, confidently walked to his front door and rang the bell. When he opened the door I suddenly felt weak. I felt like my legs were about to buckle and my stomach had about a thousand butterflies in it. I didn't breathe.

"Hold me," I said.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he held me.

"You took my breath away," I whispered.

"It's just me, Gabriel," he said trying to reduce the tension.

"But you are so handsome," I explained. "And a woman has needs, and you are the one I need."

I can't believe I just said that.

"Each day over these last few weeks I've been falling more in love with you," he told me. "Now I'm realizing my dreams, the ones that has you falling in love with me. Tonight when we dance we will celebrate."

He kissed me and I kissed him back will all my might. I felt like I was melting into him. He then sat me down and got his coat. He offered his arm and my hand took it as we walked to his car in the driveway. When we arrived at the club, he paid for the parking and both our fees. Even the coat check was paid for by him. When I took off my coat he was flabbergasted.

"Jasmine, you are the most beautiful woman in the world," he told me.

"Thank you," I said as I twirled around. "I have to be pretty to be with such a handsome man."

We chose a table next to the dance floor and he ordered drinks for the two of us. Again he paid for everything, and I enjoyed the idea that I was his date.

We danced and talked for what seemed moments. Often I had my hand in his. I enjoyed the slow dances better because he held me so close. I could even smell his manliness. It was as intoxicating as the alcohol that was in our systems. The drinks seemed to keep coming.

The fast dances were also good because I was able to push my breasts towards him and wiggle my ass. I noticed during the slow dances that my moves did excite him in ways that I intended.

The alcohol worked its way though my body and forced me to go to the lady's room several times. I just made it in time the last time I went. After doing my business, I looked in the mirror and checked on how I looked. I pulled out my hairbrush and fixed my hair that seemed to go in every direction. Next I applied some more lipstick, and I added some eye shadow. My cheeks and mascara looked good to me, so satisfied. I exited the ladies' room and headed back towards Gabriel. Sitting across the table that we had was another woman. She was acting like she was trying to pick him up. I sat next to Gunny, and wrapped my arm around his arm.

"Who's you're friend Gunny?" I asked him.

"Beat it, sister. I was here first," she told me.

"I don't think so," I countered with confidence. "By the way, I'm Jasmine."

I held my hand out to shake hers.

"What does she have that I don't have?" she asked Gabriel.

"His love," I responded.

At that moment I knew what I said was true although I was surprised at my response. I was also nervous. I also couldn't loose Gabriel especially to that hussy, but I was saved, as she left us in a huff.

As soon as she did, as if by magic, a slow dance came on. Still not saying a word he offered me to join him on the dance floor. I felt his arms around me and I felt safe. I felt the need to be in his arms, and it was wonderful.

"You were right," he said to me after a while.

"Mmmm," was my response as I smiled.

"I do love you," he said.

I snuggled in closer. I don't think I could ever be happier. Eventually the dance ended and we went back to the table. I wrapped my hand around his arm and leaned on his shoulder. I was content. Somehow new drinks arrived and we drank them.

"I think I'm drunk," I said to him after I finished sipping the drink.

"I know I am," he said.

"Maybe we should go home before we are too drunk to walk," I told him.

He got up a little tipsy and helped me to my feet. I don't know why, but I looked around to see if I could find that hussy, but she had disappeared.

We were so drunk that we were barely able to get our coats from the coat check girl. He gave her a generous tip before we left the club and walked to his car. The crisp cold air helped clear my head from some of the alcohol that partially clouded my brain. We definitely didn't walk in a direct line.

"You are too drunk to drive," I said to Gunny. "Give me the keys."

"You're sober enough to drive?" he asked.

"Sober enough to know I shouldn't drive either," I replied. "It is not too cold and your home's only five blocks away. Maybe I can drive home when we get there."

"I wanted you to stay the night," he said with a frown.

I saw him as a disappointed little boy.

"We'll see," I replied. "I'm not making any promises, but give me the keys."

He complied and I put them in my pocketbook. We walked silently towards his home even though we still couldn't walk too straight. Eventually our weaving brought us close together. I snuggled into him. I enjoyed his gentle strength as he put his arm around me, and I hoped that his arm around me would become a normal condition. We finally reached his home.

"Your car, my lady," he said, looking disappointed.

Those puppy dog eyes would have made me stay if I didn't already have that planed.

"I'll stay," I replied opening the trunk. "If you will be a gentleman and take in my suitcase."

He gave me a kiss and then smiled at me. I looked in his eyes and was lost in them, as we kissed again. That kiss warmed me up that cool night and seemed to last forever. When we broke it off I went into my pocketbook and retrieved his keys as we walked to his front door. I opened the door then he carried me over the threshold. I rewarded that sweet gesture with a long kiss. He took both my suitcase and me into his bedroom where he gently put me down on the bed then the suitcase. I noticed it was a king size bed, and I wondered if I would always be his queen in his bed. I lay on my back and smiled up at him and spread my arms out to beckon him to join me. He climbed in and gave me a deep throat kiss that sent chills throughout my spine. Greedily we took off each other's clothes, and as he massaged my breasts I dug my nails into his back. I was wet and ready, but he was a master and did things slowly until I couldn't stand it any longer. He pierced me with his member that sent me over the edge as I felt him cum.

After it was over, I went to the bathroom and cleaned myself off. After finishing I got back into bed with Gabriel and put my head on his chest and cuddled in close to him as I put my leg on his member. His heavy breathing revealed that he was sleeping, but he reacted to my movements by putting his arms around me. I liked the feeling of being protected. I realized then that we just had unprotected sex. I could get pregnant from this round of lovemaking.

"Gunny," I whispered.

There was no response so I repeated, "Gunny."

It took a few seconds for him to respond, "Humm?"

"We didn't use any protection. What if I get pregnant?"

"I will take care of you," he replied, more asleep than awake.

He was asleep again, and his rhythmic breathing was hypnotic. In my semi-wake state I relished the thought of being the mother of his children. I was asleep a few seconds later.

The light of the early morning sun streaming into the bedroom woke me. My back was facing Gunny and he had his arm around my waist. I liked our spooned position. His prick was fairly stiff on my back near my behind, so I arched myself allowing his member between my legs. I glided over it, getting wetter by the second. When Gunny put his hand on my then uppermost breast I liked the sensations even better. As I continued to rock, he started to poke at the edge of my vagina. Gradually, he went deeper in me. His thrusts became stronger until he came and I was satisfied. Again the sex was without a condom and again he fell asleep. I got up and cleaned myself, before I came back to bed and lay next to him. His rhythmic breathing hypnotized me into sleeping again.

When I woke about an hour later I noticed we were sleeping separate but our hands were touching. I got up and slipped on that sexy robe I had brought with me, and went into the bathroom to relieve myself. I got dressed in my jean outfit I had bought with me and started to explore his home as he continued to sleep.

In his living room besides the soft couch was the usual television, CD's and their player. Some of the CD's were movies including classics like "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," "Dr. Strangelove," "Titanic" and the "Rocky" Series. Some were movies that had just come out. The music CD's were also eclectic including some classical, swing, early rock, classic rock, jazz, salsa, new wave, and new recordings.

Just above the CD's I saw the books he had on his bookshelf. The bookshelf had the normal paperback novels including some of the classics and some of the newer popular novels, some histories, and a heavy book that looked like it was very old. The outside cover was leather. Some of the title letters on the cover were worn off.

It said: "Prat... Ma..c... Pr...e..."

I heard the toilet flush just as I opened it. The inside title page said, "Practical Magic: A Primer by Mary and Phillip English, 1694."

I stood there looking at the title page. I was feeling a lot of anger towards Gabriel. How dare he do this to me without my permission? Did he really think he could get away with changing me and I wouldn't find out? He had no right! But to tell the truth I AM happier this way, and it is not just because I just made love to my lover who was my best friend. There is more, I believe that I was meant to be this way and I can fulfill my destiny this way.

But my anger got worse as I thought of what he did. If he changed me without my permission did he also change my mind so I would want to be Jasmine? How much of what I was experiencing was real and how much was the spell or were there many spells?

"So now you know," Gabriel said behind me. "The authors were accused of being two of the Salem Witch Trial witches. They escaped to New York before they could be tried. By the time they went back to Salem the hysteria was over. They continued to practice knowing they were now safe. Eventually they gave copies of that book to their children, each at the age of twenty-one. They followed their parents' craft and when they had children they gave copies to their children. That continued until this copy came into grandma's possession. When I was a teen I started to practice the craft. Grandma died when I was nineteen. On my twenty-first birthday mama gave me grandma's copy."

"And you practiced your craft on me?"

"Yes, but before I started this I sensed something odd about you that told me you needed to do what I did. More than that, if I let you continue as a male you would experience a disaster and it would have been soon. I did this because of our friendship."

I was angry.

"HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO ME!" I shouted through tears. "YOU HAD NO
RIGHT!"

He started to come towards me.

I threw a paperback at him as I shouted, "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

He backed away.

"I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION!" I yelled at him. "CHANGE ME BACK RIGHT NOW!"

"That would not be wise," he replied.

I crossed my arms under my breasts and asked with an icy voice, "WHY
NOT?"

"You were about to do things that would hurt and eventually destroy you just before I started to change you," he replied.

There was concern in his voice, but I didn't believe him. He had lost my trust.

"Just remove all the spells you have on me," I told him. "NOW!"

"OK, but it will take a few minutes," he said as he slowly went to the book.

"NO YOU DON'T" I said as I grabbed another book.

"I need to study the spell in order to do the spell right," he explained. "May I get the book?"

I moved away while holding the paperback as a weapon.

He picked up the book and studied it.

"I am ready if you are," he told me.

"Go ahead," I said icily.

He read some words in a strange language, then he closed the book and said, "It will take about an hour for you to get back to being James. There will be no spells on you then. I suggest you go back home and wait for the changes there. Everything will be as if you had been James these last few weeks."

"How can I trust you?" I asked. "I feel violated. I don't know what is real and what is the spell."

"There is nothing I can say or do that will convince you," he replied. "You lose and I lose. I am following your wishes."

"Have a good life," I told him as I got up and walked to the door.

"One more thing," he said as I opened the door.

"WHAT?"

"If you change your mind it is reversible."

"IN YOUR DREAMS," I said with my jaws locked.

On the way home I stopped at the supermarket and bought two cases of beer. That was unusual for me as a six-pack usually lasted me at least a week. But I thought that the beer purchase was necessary. As I drove the rest of the way I felt the need to have a can, but I never had such a need before. Having a beer was just nice to have once in a while. When I got home I put one case in the refrigerator and tried to find room for the other case. My refrigerator door was completely full of beer cans. I took one out and started drinking.

I was awoken by the sound of my alarm clock. That alarm gave me a splitting headache. I had slept in my clothes in a kitchen chair all night. I went to the bathroom and peed standing up. I was James again. Then I went into the bedroom and turned the alarm off. The next thing I knew it was three hours later. It is not like me to be late for work.

I called work and spoke to Carole, "I'm going to be a little late."

"When you get here we need to talk," she told me.

I took a quick shower, shaved and brushed my teeth. I looked like I was growing a beard. I threw on some clothes and drove fast to work. From waking up the second time to walking into the building took only forty-five minutes. I still didn't have breakfast.

"You wanted to speak to me?" I asked when I went to Carol's desk.

"Sit down," she said.

She did some work on her computer then got up and brought a sheet back from the printer.

She sighed then told me, "You have been constantly arriving late over these last few weeks. Here is a copy of your times since September. As you will see not only are you getting here late but it is now more often and also later. It has gotten worse. Andy has already asked me to fire you. I can't protect you much longer. You must start to arrive on time or you will be terminated. Also you need to get here sober. You don't do good work when you're drunk. Here is a write up you need to sign."

She handed me the paper in triplicate. Andrew Jones, our location manager, had signed it.

"You can't fire me," I said.

"Why not?"

"I quit," I replied.

"Please reconsider," she said with concern in her voice. "We can help you."

I got up from the meeting and walked to Gunny and said to him, "It is your fault!"

Gabriel put his call on mute and said to me, "Could you wait a minute?"

I agreed because I was very angry.

He finished the call and logged off.

"Let's go outside so no one can hear," he suggested.

When we got outside I told him, "Remove this spell."

"There is no spell, James," he explained. "This is what would have happened if I didn't do anything."

"I don't believe you," I said.

"You could become Jasmine again. You wouldn't have this problem."

"Then we'd be lovers," I replied.

"I lost you already," he replied. "My love for you continues but you are right. I shouldn't have done this without your permission. May I change you back?"

"NO!" I replied. "I'll survive. You've done enough to me."

I tuned away from him and walked to my car and drove home. When I got there I drank a can of beer. I must have been tired because the next thing I knew I woke in my chair. I looked around the room. There were beer cans and garbage all over the place. I didn't remember my place being THAT messy. I needed to pee so I went into the bathroom and did my business. As I was washing up after I peed I looked in the mirror and was shocked. My hair looked like it hadn't been cut in months and I had a beard that looked about as old as my last haircut.

Did I have what they call, um, um, a blackout? I was scared and sat down to think. I felt the need to have another beer, but this time I resisted. I needed help. Even my thinking was difficult. I needed a friend. The only one I could think of was Gabriel, and I left him by accusing him of doing things to me without my permission and wishing him a good life. Hoping that he would talk to me I braced myself and called.

"Hello?" he said.

"Gunny," I replied.

"James," how are you?" he asked. "I haven't heard from you in, it must be, about three months. Not since you quit your job."

"I need help," I said in a soft voice. "I've been drinking and I think I had a blackout. Help."

"I'll be there as fast as I can," he replied. "Will you be alright until then?"

"Yeah, thanks."

We hung up and I started to clean up the mess. I was determined to get it as presentable during that a half hour's time before he would arrive. Three months? That would explain the beard and haircut. About an hour after I started I began to wonder where Gunny was so I called his home again. I received his answering machine.

"Gunny," I said as soon as I could. "Where are you? I'm beginning to worry. When you get this message just call to let me know you are alright."

I cleaned as I waited another hour and called again. That hour was excruciating as I needed a drink, but I was determined that I would not have one until at least after Gabriel did what he could for me.

"It's James again. I hope nothing's happened to you."

When I hung up I looked outside toward my townhouse's parking lot. It was snowing and on the ground looked about three inches. I thought he should be able to drive through that, but just in case I called the police. When I gave them his name and a description of the last car I knew he had the officer asked me to wait. A few minutes later he came back and told me he was in an accident and taken to County General.

I needed to get to that hospital.

I thought, 'Gabriel risked his life for me when I needed help. He may need my help now.'

I didn't think I could drive so I looked in my wallet and was glad that it had about fifty dollars. I called the local cab company and the dispatcher said it would cost fifteen. About an hour later the taxi came and took me to the hospital. The receptionist explained that he was recovering from surgery and was going to the surgical ICU. I followed her directions and got to his location.

There were two people by his bed. A woman about twenty years older than him walking nervously and a man about her age sitting and hold his hand. A machine was assisting Gunny's breathing. He looked pale.

"James! I'm glad you're here." she said.

I looked at her. She looked familiar, but I couldn't place her.

Noticing my questioning look she told me, "I'm Gabriel's mother, Ellen, and this is his father, Henry. Say 'hello,' Hank."

He waved.

"I understand why you don't remember me," she began. "The last time was the same situation today, only that time you were never Jasmine."

Now I was totally confused.

"Come, let us talk outside," she told me in a whisper. "I'll explain everything. I don't want Gabriel to hear."

"May I talk to Gunny first?" I asked.

Hank got up and I sat down next to my friend. Gunny looked ashen. As I took his hand in mine, I felt the pain of seeing my best friend possibly dieing in front of me. I also felt stronger other emotions that I realized were Jasmine's. She was losing the love of her life, her soul mate.

"You risked your life for me. Thank you. You look bad good buddy. I'm sorry."

I kissed his forehead. I think I was crying. I stayed there for about fifteen minutes wishing that it was me in that bed instead of him. Finally, I followed Ellen out of the room. We went to the stairway so that no one could hear.

She began with the bad news, "It is bad, James. He's going to die."

"What happened?"

"He was driving to you when his car hit some ice under the snow. The car skidded into a tree. He has some broken bones and bleeding into some of his internal organs.

"Can't you do something about it?" I asked. "You're a witch."

"I can't. You won't let me."

"What do you mean, I won't let you?"

"Hear my full story before you say anything," she began. "We went through these same six months before. Last time you said you didn't want to remember his condition so you asked me to erase your memories of these months. Last time when he suggested you become Jasmine, you yelled and screamed at him and stopped being his friend and you ended up the alcoholic you are now. You had the same blackout and he had the same accident. This time Gabriel changed you to Jasmine without your knowledge. When Gabriel changed you back to James he got rid of the spells he saw with the exception of allowing you to become Jasmine again. The only other spell that is left is the one you asked me to do.
I fixed it so that Gabriel would not see my spell. I can fix it if you like."

"But why can't you fix him?"

"The only way for him to survive is for you to be Jasmine, but when you became James again you restricted me. If you were Jasmine, now, you would have stayed at his home during the snowstorm, so he wouldn't have had the accident because he wouldn't need to go out in that storm. I've tried several times to see if there is any other way you wouldn't be an alcoholic and he wouldn't die, but there are none. I even checked to see if you could be the husband and Gabriel would be the wife, but Ann, that would be her name, would have lost you to your drinking partners, Anheuser Bush, Samuel Adams and Bert and Harry Piels. You would have called her today. She would hit that same patch of ice and die before she got to the hospital."

"How can I trust him?" I asked. "How can I trust you?"

"Look in your heart. The answer is there."

"How do I know that is not part of the spell?"

"May I restore your memory? It may help."

"Yes."

She touched my head near my brain and said some words in what I assumed was that same strange language. Memories started to flood my thoughts. I saw the argument I had with Gunny that almost came to blows. I hated him and knew I didn't talk to him again until earlier today when I called and asked for help. Never did I feel such hate, not even when I saw the book as Jasmine.

In the original time line I had told Ellen to have us do the same six months again telling her, "Just have him do it. I don't want that fight so don't let him tell me. And erase my memory of then. I hate myself for what I did to Gunny."

I realized then that I had asked Ellen to hide what he was doing and what happened was my fault. This was a lot to take in at once.

It took a while, but I finally said, "I need time to think. Could I have a day?"

"Here's my cell number. And also, his life and your happiness and his happiness are tied together."

"How?"

"When were you the happiest these last six month?"

"From when I began to anticipate the changes until I saw that book. That damn book."

"When was he the happiest?"

"That same time. Oh!"

"And I know that you are afraid, but remember that you will be doing this with Gabriel. His strength will help you and yours will help him."

"Could you do me a favor for the time being? I need to think straight. Remove my dependence on alcohol but keep what memory I have of it until I make my decision?"

"Just for the time being?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Would I deserve my freedom if I let him die?"

"Your freedom and his life are two separate issues."

"Please do it my way. It is part of what I have to think about."

She did the spell on me and I gradually felt my need for alcohol disappear as the day went on. Later, I had dinner with Gunny's parents who drove me home and then they went back to the hospital. I couldn't let him die but did I have the strength to be Jasmine? It would probably be as his wife as she is his soul mate and he hers. I can forgive him, but can he forgive me?

It was three in the morning when I realized that last part and knew what to do. I called Ellen's cell and she answered very sleepily.

"In the morning I'll drop Henry off at the hospital and pick you up around nine o'clock," she suggested. "We'll go to Gabriel's home and I'll change you into Jasmine there."

"Just in case, keep on ringing my doorbell," I warned her. "I haven't slept, yet, so be annoying."

I don't know if I hung up first or fell asleep. My dreams were full of dancing with Gabriel, walking with him, and riding with him in one of our cars to work. Ellen's consistent ringing finally woke me. Looking at the clock I saw that it was 9:30.

When I opened the door she looked at me, giggled and told me she will give me time to take a shower and get dressed. She went to the kitchen and made me breakfast. It was my usual breakfast of eggs, toast, bacon and home fries. After breakfast I threw the dishes in the dishwasher and we were out of the townhouse by ten o'clock. We arrived at Gunny's home about twenty minutes later.

It was during that ride I made a request, "When you do the spell make sure we both remember both times. I need to know how I hurt Gunny and what I am doing to save him. He needs to know how he hurt me and what he did to help me. It will help me trust him and help him see my needs, and it will help our love."

"I think that some day I might be able to teach you the craft. You understand the concept of trying to make things better."

At Gunny's house Ellen had me sit on the couch while she got the book. She looked up the spell, studied it, and then said some words from that same strange language. Almost immediately I fell asleep from the strain of the change and my lack of sleep. I awoke with my head lying on someone's shoulder. Little things that I felt told me I had become Jasmine again. They included my long hair touching my ear and neck, the slight tug of my earrings, the feel of my lipstick's wax on my lips, the slight confinement that my bra gave me, the fact that my knees were together with nothing between my legs to impede their closeness, the pantyhose that I wore on that cold day under my slacks, and the higher heels of my boots.

The voice connected to that shoulder was my mom's, "So should we go out and look at churches?"

"Why are we looking at churches?" I asked.

"Are you OK, Jasmine?" she asked. "I swear you sometimes act as clueless as your brother or were you planning to elope?"

"I'm alright, mom," I said as I looked at Ellen. "Everything is right, now."

Note: Phillip and Mary English were accused and indicted in 1692 on the charges of witchcraft. It is believed that they were accused because they were financially well off and someone with connections wanted their wealth. They fled to New York and waited out the Salem Witchcraft hysteria. Salem had a famine in 1693. Phillip sent a ship from New York loaded with food to help out the starving populace in Salem. Despite what happened to them they did the right thing. I chose them as the authors of the book because of their generosity. Learning about them made them two of my heroes.

I thank Davenport, Ally De Merele, Jenna Hitch, Maggie O Malley, Prudence Walker and Judy White for their valuable suggestions and assistance.

Santa's Gift to the World

by shalimar
 

Note: I wrote this little story because of things that I have observed at the end of 2001. I don't usually write Christmas
stories. That is why I wrote it after Christmas.

 © 2001, 2002, Revised 2011 shalimar. Elrod W.'s copyright of Bikini Beach and the movie "Its a Wonderful Life" are also protected by this copyright.

Santa Claus was sitting in his easy chair reading another letter. It was typical of the ones from the New York area this year and it depressed him. Even Mrs. Claus's gingerbread cookies couldn't get one "Ho" out of him. Forget about the other two "Ho's."

There were letters from children from the Chesapeake Bay area asking Santa to protect their parents who were put in harm's way. In addition across the country, and around the world there were children sending letters saying that one or more of their parents were out of work and there were not going to be presents this year. The children only asked that mommy or daddy would be able to work soon. One from a Jimmy Braun in Iowa told how his dad was now drunk all the time and there would be no work even if his father was sober. Although Jimmy's letter was worse than most, almost all the letters this year had no joy. It was the worst Christmas season in a long time.

Mrs. Claus put her hand on the usually jolly fellow and asked, "What can I do to help you?"

"I don't know," Santa said as he put his head in his hand. "There is so much pain this year. I need to find a way to change that to joy."

Mrs. Claus left her husband and walked into the kitchen. Morty, the elf, came into the kitchen and snatched a gingerbread cookie. Mrs. Claus looked at him in mock anger.

"Go cheer up the boss," she said to him.

"I've been trying Mrs. C." Morty told her. "But I don't think seeing 'Wonderful Life' would cheer him."

"Mrs. Claus sighed and then asked, "What are we going to do?"

"I have an idea," Morty suggested.

Later that day Mrs. Claus made two phone calls.

It was the night of December 23.

"Trust me," said Mrs. Claus.

"But, I have to be rested for tomorrow," Santa complained.

"Just get the sleigh ready," said Mrs. Claus. "Think of the children."

"I'll do it this time," replied Santa.

Mrs. Claus smiled, and gave her husband a hug and kiss. Then Santa mounted his sleigh and waved to his wife and elves. He snapped his reigns and off he went into the sky. It landed an hour later in the mountains. He went to the entrance of the cave and went in. He went several levels down until he found the sleeping man. Santa did some magic so that man would not be startled when Santa woke him.

"Shush!" Santa whispered. "Come with me. You'll be safe."

The man followed. Up the cave they went, then out into the cold and onto the sleigh.

Then with a snap of the reigns, Santa said, "Let's go guys. Rudolf, lead the way."

A little while later they landed in a parking lot. Out of the office by the gate walked the Bikini Beach owner.

"Is he any trouble?" asked Grandma.

"No," replied Santa. "He's still under the spell."

"Come with me," she said to the man.

She led him into the showers and made him wash. When the new woman came out, she was wearing the traditional dress of a Saudi woman. She gave her towel to Grandma who handed the new woman her lifetime pass.

As a Saudi woman she had no rights and as a Saudi woman she had no wish to discuss politics, leaving that to her husband. She thanked Grandma for the midnight swim and walked to her husband's car with the Saudi flags on the front. Inside was her husband, a prince. He gave her a kiss and asked her if she enjoyed her swim. She thanked him for his indulgence.

"Are you coming to Christmas dinner?" asked Claus.

"We wouldn't miss being with you for this Christmas for the world," replied Grandma.

"Pick you up around two?"

"Sounds good," answered Grandma.

And with that, St. Nick drove his sleigh back to the North Pole. He loaded up his sleigh with toys and made his usual trip around the world, then returning home. He was only a little more tired than he would have been if he didn't make that extra trip.

Around 4PM on December 24, I took my usual walk down Montague Street in Brooklyn to the Promenade. As is my routine I looked at New York Bay, this time as the sunset. I saw the Verrazano Narrows Bridge to the south. The Staten Island Ferry was traveling to Manhattan as the ferry to Our Lady of the Harbor and the Gateway to America passed it. The Brooklyn Bridge started just to the north of the Promenade. In between the Twin Towers climbing to Heaven was a sleigh carrying the Great Gift Giver. In his bag of presents were lots of letters.

One said:

On Christmas day Kisha read the letter and then heard her father ask what she was reading. She turned and ran to her father and hugged him as she cried. Emotionally she never let go of him. Kisha's father was with her that Christmas because the man in the cave was Osama bin Laden.

May those of us who suffered finally have peace.

Shaboom

by shalimar

As the Evil Witch, shalimar turns Giggles into his daughter. She then turns him into mom, and the fun begins. Based on Hyperboard messages around March 2001, and on a suggestion by Sigh.
New roles for the SRU Wizard and Bikini Beach's Anya.

Copyright 2001, revised 2011.

Notes: Some of the people in this story are real. For privacy reasons I have used their handles. This story is based on at least three sets of Fictionmania Hyperboard messages, and some email notes from Sigh, Bill Hart, and Elrod W. This includes permission to use the SRU Wizard as a judge, and Anya as a defense attorney. Permission was given to me to use the Hyperboard messages.

The usual disclaimers:

If you shouldn't be reading this for moral, legal, or emotional reasons, don't.

It is fattening.

Giggles and I finally got together. It took weeks to set up after she asked me for her to be my love slave. She was still a 25-year-old effeminate guy about 5' 9," 145 lb. with very small breasts. Her long brown hair looked like it just went to the beauty parlor. For the most part there was no beard. She did wear a little makeup and wore a black knit dress.

She was surprised that I was still male, and twice her age. My balding and weight almost freaked her out. I was also beginning to get breasts. I told her that we should at least talk.

We met in the morning at the Marriott near Kennedy Airport, a nice towering hotel. I rented a room on the sixth floor. We heard and felt a Concord roar over us just before we stepped into the elevator. I thought I knew exactly what we were doing. When we entered the room we talked for a few hours.

Then she asked me to hypnotize her.

"Why me?"

"'Cause you're the Evil Witch."

"The last time I hypnotized someone you weren't born yet."

"Do it anyway. That way I could be your love slave."

"Are you sure?"

"Please!"

"Okay. I promise I won't harm you in any way."

"Thanks, that makes it even better. What are you going to do?"

"I don't know yet. You asked ME to hypnotize you and I'm supposed to know what I'm going to do?"

"You'll think of something."

I needed something for her to focus on. I pulled off my necklace that had a small emerald on it and held it in front of her.

"I want you to stare at the emerald," I said in a soft, calming voice. Keep on looking at it. That's it. Just stare at it. You are getting sleepy."

She blinked.

"That's it. You are getting sleepy."

Her eyelids were slowly closing.

"Very sleepy."

Her head was beginning to bend.

"You are asleep."

Her eyes were closed and her head down.

"You will do whatever I say."

"Whatever you say..."

I had an idea. It was a crazy idea, but what do you expect from someone who plays solitaire with 47 cards.

"You are younger."

"Younger."

I noticed that she was really getting younger. Maybe I am a witch.

"You are sixteen."

She looked like she was in her mid-teens.

"How old are you?"

"What a silly question. I'm sixteen."

I decided to try something else.

"What sex are you still?"

"Male"

"You are female."

"Of course I'm female."

"Your sexual organs are female."

"Yes"

"Your balls are ovaries."

"Yes"

"They are entering your body where they belong."

I heard a squishing sound and then a small pop in the proper region of her body.

"Your penis is turning into a vaginal canal."

"Of course I have a vagina."

"See, your public hair is a pretty triangle. There are no tools."

She put her hand on the public area and rubbed.

"That's right, feel it. There's nothing else there. That's right. Just like it's supposed to be. You are shorter."

I saw her shrink a little.

"More."

She acted like Alice before she entered the rabbit hole.

"You are 5' 5"."

She finally shrank down to that height.

"You have larger breasts."

The breasts started to grow larger.

"That's better. Small ones for now. Stop at 'A'. They'll grow in time."

They stopped at just where I said they would. She was beginning to look like a regular teen girl.

"You have no hair on your face."

Her remnant of beard began to be absorbed by the skin.

"Your face is as smooth as a baby's."

There was nothing left of her beard.

"Your waist is too wide. Make it narrower."

The area near her stomach started to shrink.

"More. Down to 24". That's better."

It stopped at the appropriate diameter.

"Your chest is too wide. Make it narrower."

Like the rest, the change started to happen.

"Down to 33 inches."

Again she stopped at the right size.

"Now the hips. Make them wider."

They started to expand into the baby-carrying angle.

"I said wider. In my family, a broad is broad. That's more like it."

"Now your voice. "Say, Aaaaahhhhh."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh...."

"Keep it up."

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

"Raise the pitch."

Her voice was becoming more feminine. When the voice was more like a teen's I made the changes stop.

"What's your name? Hummmmm. My great grandmother never had anyone named after her. You are Sarah. Now tell me your name."

"Silly, its Sarah."

"Right, Sarah. You are my daughter, Sarah."

"Of course I am, daddy."

There were some more genetic changes. Her face became heart shaped. Her hair became lighter in color and wavy. The eyes were more of the Mongolian slant. She had a spring complexion and became a few shades darker. As she smiled I noticed the teeth. She had a small gap between the two upper front teeth. That means that, like many in my family, she would have one less tooth in each quadrant.

"When you wake I will tell you what we are going to do. You will agree."

"Yes"

"You also have this magic power, but you are reluctant to use it. You think you don't know how enough, and you are afraid that you will make a mistake. It worries you that you might do harm."

"Of course I am a witch like you."

"Now awake and tell me if you like the change."

Sarah looked down on her body and saw the changes and then went over to the mirror.

"I'm pretty... not drop dead gorgeous, but still pretty. Pretty enough to attract a boy. Thank you, daddy."

She gave me a hug.

"But why did you pick Sarah?"

"My great grandmother had it. The one I knew. The other choice is Sacagawea, the one on the dollar coin. Sarah is easier, but it's your choice."

"Sarah, then."

"Okay, Princess."

"Daddy, what about you? When are you going to change? Wouldn't you rather be Mom?"

"I just discovered I can do this. Give me a chance. Maybe tomorrow, this afternoon we are going to see that Broadway play you've been pestering me about. Then we'll go home."

"I could do it for you then?"

"When we get home it might be too late. You'll have to get ready for school."

"That's the only bad part of this change. I'm back in high school again. Yuck."

We took the subway into the city. On the subway ride we chatted away about everything. She continued to push me about me changing also. She said she needed a mother more than a father. I told her she needed both, and if I did become her mother I would have to remedy my single status. Eventually I told her that we wouldn't have time that day. I told her she was NOT going to sleep through class on her FIRST day. I also told her she had LESS knowledge about how to change reality than I did. I did want it though. I just didn't think we would have time that day.

We arrived at the theater with about five minutes to spare. I purchased the tickets and we went in. I manufactured' the money out of my wallet. I believed I was getting the hang of magic now. It is an interesting phenomenon. I told Sarah. She opened her purse, looked in it a while, then smiled. I knew that she had just added a postman or two to her wallet.

"You can buy some clothes with the money you just made, if there's room in your closet."

The play was thoroughly enjoyable. We laughed. We cried. And at the end we were among the ones standing and cheering. We ate dinner in the Village, at Emilio's. I hadn't been there since the night of July 3, 1976. I was with friends that night. At midnight that night I rose from my seat, raised my glass of wine and started singing he National Anthem. From that time on there was singing in that courtyard until Emily's closed several hours later. Telling Sarah about it brought a smile to my face. 25 years later I am still a friend to most of those with me that night.

It was about 10:00 PM when we got home to our house on Vista Lane in Levittown, NY. I had to change her room closer to a teenage girl's room while she took a bath. I made sure she had enough clothes for the next few days. When she was in her bathrobe I told her she could buy some clothes when she got a chance "...as long as you finish your homework first."

"Dad, take a bath."

"I take showers."

"You are exhausted. You could lie back and relax."

"I might fall asleep in the bath."

"I'll be with you."

"I'm a man."

"There's nothing you got that I didn't have this morning."

"But..."

"Besides, I need you as Mom, not Dad. It'll only take a half an hour. Then I'll go to sleep. Promise."

"Well..."

"I'll draw the water."

"Okay"

"Thanks, Mom, you won't regret it." She gave me a hug.

"Only change my age, my weight and my height."

"I'll have to add some hair and remove that bald spot."

"Okay: 22, 5' 5" and three pounds heavier than you, and I'm a misses, not a junior like you. I want dirty blond to light blond hair like I had when I was that age. Make sure I stay crazy. I am happy that way."

"Could I make your hair long?"

"Not beyond my breasts. Oh, and fix my hearing. You have such a sweet voice. I want to hear you properly."

"Okay. How could I be 16 and you be my 22-year-old mother?"

"You're still 25. You're only physically 16. I'm still over 50. I'm also the father of your half-brother who is now a year older than you."

"Confusing, isn't it?"

"Not if you're a witch."

I started to get undressed. The steam from the bath was inviting. She poured bubble bath into the water. There was a fragrance in the liquid.

"Get in that bath, girl!"

I obeyed. She had already made me into a girl between my legs. She put a sponge headrest behind my neck. I felt the tension seep into the water as she worked her magic to transform me. My daughter was right. This heavenly soak was just what I needed. When she finished changing me she fixed her hair for the night. I kissed her good night.

"Good night, Mom."

"Is your boyfriend coming over tomorrow?"

"I don't know. Why?"

"We have to get you clothes. I need to know if he's staying for dinner."

"I really don't know," she said a she stared into space and hugged herself. She was smiling.

"You love him don't you?"

"Yeah."

The smile became a grin.

"You already belong to him, don't you."

She didn't say anything, but I knew the answer.

"Are you going to tell him about us?"

"Mom, do you want us under the hupah?"

Ouch! We've had this conversation before and I still don't know when to shut my damn mouth.

"Sixteen is too young. Good night, Princess."

We gave each other a kiss. When she was out, I shaved my legs and underarms. I don't know why I did it. I was extremely tired at the time. Then I rinsed and dried myself and put on the see through peach nightgown that somehow was on the shelf near the towel. It was sexy. Sarah had thought of everything, but there was no one to be sexy for, yet. When I got to my bed I just had enough energy to pull the covers off and flop into bed. My changing took a lot of energy out of me.

'How was I going to make breakfast for her in the morning?' I thought as I quickly drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to my favorite classical rock music station. I listened to her music in the kitchen until she goes off to school. I tolerate her top 40 music. Some of it IS good. Okay, most of it as long as its not rap, then its back to classical rock or Jazz. Yeah!

I was wondering if I would go to work today. Somehow buying and selling stock for a few millionaires didn't seem that appealing this morning. But, what would I do if I called in sick? I could fix the place up a bit. Redo the kitchen; get some furniture, things like that. Or, I could get some clothes. Maybe I'd call Jamie. She's the baby of my group of friends. At least she was until last night.

Then I knew exactly what I had to do. Visit my Mom in the nursing home. She had been there for six months. She had heart by-pass surgery a year ago. Her leg wound from where they took the vein for the by-pass had gotten infected and she almost died. I was afraid for her then. For a while she was on no code. I understood why. I didn't like it, but I understood. During that time she was 'out of it' I held her hand. When she recovered she told me that she remembered that I held it. That made my day then. Why am I crying?

When she recovered enough for the nursing home she couldn't walk. Her MS didn't help matters. I would have to change her age and medical conditions. Dad would be there to help her out. I could kill two birds with one stone. The Audubon Society would be angry at me again.

My transformation last night made me think. If I was tired out from my change last night, any change on my parents would probably kill them unless I did it right. After all, they're nearly 80. While I was thinking my phone rang. I noticed the name on my cell phone.

"Hi, daddy."

"Shelly, are you coming to visit your mother today?"

Guilt City. Don't think that moms art the only ones that can give it.

"I am planning to get there today. I'll probably be there in two or three hours. I have to talk to both of you anyway."

"About what?"

"I now have witch powers. I'll tell you more when I get there."

When I got off the phone I cleaned and straightened the house. This was something that I didn't do much as a man. I sighed. I knew that I only just begun, but it would take me days for it to be presentable. Even my new magic powers could only do so much and that took a lot energy. I finally had breakfast. It consisted of a vitamin pill, OJ and a banana.

I put on a light yellow sundress as the day was going to be warm. I liked how the yellow brightened my face. I lightly threw on some makeup and then drove the 15 minutes to the nursing home. I finally got there and found the impossible, a parking spot. How could a suburban nursing home have no parking? And they say I'm crazy. I walked in and went to the other side of the building. The walk inside took as long as the drive. I shouldn't complain. I was visiting my folks. I went up an elevator that if it went any slower it would be going backwards. With a bounce in my step I popped into her room. Mom had just come back from physical therapy and was happy that she could stand by herself while holding on. Her progress until today was painfully slow. Even she knows that.

"How are you doing, Mom?"

I kissed her and then Dad. He gave me a hug. He still had a lot of strength despite him being nearly 80.

"Okay. I stood by myself today, without help."

"Great, Ma."

"How's my grandchildren?"

"Manny is applying to colleges now. He wants to go to one of the good science schools like MIT or Stony Brook. Sarah has a boyfriend. Nothing serious yet. She made me realize that last night."

"And their grades?"

"They're still in their 90's and Manny is actually doing his homework. The teachers are impressed. I'M impressed."

"And, you? Do you have a boyfriend?"

"I'll find someone. I know it and it'll be soon."

"That Princess of yours needs a father, especially now that she has to learn how to love a man."

"I'll get someone soon, promise."

"You better. You are not a spring chicken."

"Mom, I'm only 22."

"That's three years older than when I married your father."

"And you waited four years to have me."

"Actually we tried right away."

"Mom, I didn't come here to discuss my sex life."

"Or lack thereof."

I looked up. She was worse than my daughter. Why can't she leave me alone about this? Then again what are mothers for? I had to change the subject.

"Mom, Dad, I can change reality."

"Don't play games with us," he angrily replied.

"How old am I, Dad?"

"52"

"How old do I look?"

"About 20."

"What sex was I the last time I was here?"

"Male"

"What sex am I now?"

"Female"

"How many children did I have last time?"

"One"

"How many now?"

"Two"

"How old are they?"

"They're in their teens."

"Now do you believe me?"

"If you say so, Shelly."

"Anyway, what I want to do is make you both younger. I have discovered that the older the person is now the more tiring it is for the person being changed. I have to do this slowly, or it might kill you. I am going to try a month a day for a while. When you get closer to my true age we'll try some jumps. What do you think?"

"I don't know," she said.

"Mom, you'll be out of here in about a month. You can do your own cooking, or come to my place."

"Are you still a good cook?"

"I learned from grandma. Nobody was better than her. You won't regret it. The two of you will be playing golf together again by the spring, maybe sooner. No more golf widow."

I saw her smile at that suggestion. She liked the idea of being active again.

I did the magic that would reduce their ages at the rate of a month a day. I also did some safety back ups in case this is too hard on their bodies. I also made sure Mom would see like she used to, but gradually. This would take months. Okay, three years before she would have full sight, but if she got her sight back too quickly she would be blinded by the increased light going to her brain. I also fixed their other medical conditions.

The amazing part of all this is that I knew exactly what to do. The more I know, the more confidence I have. But I better not get too cocky. I usually get into trouble when I do.

After I finished I talked to my parents for about an hour and then went home to prepare for Sarah. She came home with her boyfriend. And they studied together. I still didn't know. Am I serving dinner for one, two or three?

"Alex, are you staying for dinner?"

"No, my parents want me home tonight. Thanks anyway."

They went back to studying. With that kissing I would guess biology. Looks like I'm a chaperon.

After he left I served the fish I bought around the corner at the fish market.

"Mom, are we unique?"

"How could I be unique if you're like me?"

"You avoiding the question."

"Trust me, I don't know little old men in bathrobes or women running water parks."

"Seriously, are there others like us?"

"I don't know. I didn't even know I could do anything until we were in that hotel room. Everything just sort of happened. Yet, I know more of what to do as I do it. It's kind of scary though. I'm afraid of doing harm. I knew that with you I could change you back if you didn't want what I did, but it still got out of hand."

"I guess I wanted what you gave me. I wouldn't trade this reality for the world."

"That's good because I like my daughter."

"Like or love?"

"I still love you. Its just I like you too."

"What did you do today?"

"Aren't I supposed to ask that question?"

"Avoiding questions again."

"I went to the nursing home. I have grandma and grandpa gradually becoming younger. I wish I could do it faster, but last night you showed me that age creates problems. You have to change things slowly with older people. We talked. It was the best time I had with Mom in a long time. I told them you and Alex are not serious, yet. You're still in high school. Both of you need to finish and go to college."

"What if I don't want to go to college?"

"Better than a 90 average in academic areas and you don't want to go to college. My daughter's mashuguna."

"Ding, Dong"

"I'll get it!" She said as she ran to the door.

She was probably expecting it to be Alex again. I heard her open the door as I walked into the dining room.

"Ma, I just found out the answer. We aren't"

"We aren't what?"

"Evening mam."

It was Bill Murray in his Ghost Busters uniform.

"We had a report that there was unauthorized magic here last night."

"What do you mean by unauthorized magic?"

"Well, we checked the records and there is no witch license or witch tax paid for anyone at this location."

"Which tax?"

"Yes, the witch tax."

"Which tax are you talking about?"

"Precisely"

"Could you tell me which tax you mean?"

"The witch tax. You didn't pay your witch tax."

"But if you can't tell me which tax I didn't pay, how am I supposed to pay it?"

"Egan, get the copy of the magic regulations out of the car. Mam, for you to do magic, you need to have a witch license and pay a witch tax."

"But how do you know if I didn't pay which tax and which license if you can't tell me what I need?"

"In order for you to do magic you must pay your witch tax. Before you pay your witch tax you must get a witch license which you get after you pass the witch exam, which you can take after you graduate from a witch school."

"Which school? Which exam? Which license? Which tax?"

"Now you got it."

"Got what?"

Why is Dan Akroid looking like Bud Abbot, and Bill Murray like Lou Costello?

"Oh," I said. I'll go to my room and get you those papers. They're in my night table draw. Be right back."

I walked into my room muttering, "Who's on first. I don't know. WHO'S on first. I DON'T KNOW. I'm telling you, WHO'S ON FIRST."

I opened my draw and 'pulled out' two papers showing the proper license and paid tax. I brought it out to a restored Bill Murray. He looked them over and returned them to me.

"Everything seems to be in order. Sorry to bother you, mam. By the way, what magic did you do last night?"

"Sarah changed me into her mother."

"She looks like she is 15."

"Sixteen, I'm a junior in high school."

"Is this Sarah?"

"That's my daughter."

"She did it?"

"Yes, why?"

"Sixteen is not old enough to be witching."

"She was 25 earlier that day!"

"Sorry, mam, she sixteen now."

"So what do we do?"

He pulled out a pair of handcuffs from his rear pocket as he told me, "I really hate to do this to you, but you are under arrest for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say..."

"Sarah, get my father on the phone and tell him what's going on. Tell him to send a lawyer to... where are you taking me?"

"Witch Jail."

Here we go again.

"If you don't know, how do you expect me to?"

"Pardon?"

"I hope so. And where is this jail?"

"1313 Mockingbird Lane. You'll have a Hell of a time finding the place."

He finished placing my hands behind my back and cuffing me. They took me down to the car and drove me into the lower garage of a forbidding building near the railroad station in Hempstead, NY. At an entrance on the far side of the building I was made to get out of the car and down a hall. We entered an elevator and went to the 13th floor. They escorted me into a courtroom.

They unhandcuffed me when I was at the defendant's table. Across from me was the jury. In the jury box was just about every magical person and creature imaginable. The foreman was Rod Serling. There was Aunt Clara, Grandpa Al Lewis, Sandra Bullock, Diana Ross, Harry Houdini, Q, Glenda the Witch of the North, Harvey, Barbara Eden, and Sabrina. To make sure I knew exactly what kind of a court this is the twelfth juror was Kanga and Roo.

In walked a young lady who looked like she was in her late teens or early twenties. She actually looked pretty in her gray business suit. She came to my table with her briefcase, sat down and took some papers out.

"Hi," she said in a sweet voice. "My name is Anya. I'm your lawyer for this trial."

"Your grandmother owns a water park."

"You've heard of me, Good. It'll make things easier. The charges are very serious."

"What exactly are the charges?"

"According to what I have read they say that you let your daughter do some magic when she was under age. Is it right? She is 16?"

"Well, she was 25 earlier that day. Does that count?"

"You're saying she is physically 16, but she was age regressed from 25."

"Yes, that's it. I changed her from a 25-year-old male to female transsexual to my 16-year-old daughter."

"What about old memories?"

"Still there."

"Good. Genetics?"

"She's now half me."

"That makes it tougher," she sighed.

"What can I do?"

"Throw yourself at the mercy of the court."

"With that foreman and juror number twelve? Say I got an idea. You're underage, and so is Sabrina."

"We could try that. It could make a difference. Did you supervise your kid?"

"She changed me!"

"How?"

"I was her father. She needed a mother."

"And you let her?"

"Yes, of course."

In walked Richard Mohl.

"Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble," he announced. "All rise, the Witches and Wizard's Council District Court, Eastern District, New York, is now in session. The Honorable Wizard, presiding."

In walked a little old man in a bathrobe. He looked regal.

'Gandalf,' I thought as he sat down in his chair.

"He's my godfather."

I was thinking he was going to tell me he owns a store.

"I gather that you heard of my Spells R Us."

"Yes, your honor. Maybe later I can ask you more about it."

Maybe I could send him some business.

"Are you trying to bribe me, young lady?"

"No, your honor. I'm not used to people reading my thoughts."

"I see. Well, anyway, read the charges against the defendant."

"We wave the right to a formal reading."

I looked at Anya surprised. How was I supposed to defend myself if I didn't understand the charges against me?

"You'll understand everything," he told me.

"Your Honor we would like to approach the bench."

It was then that I noticed who the prosecuting attorney was, the final butcher, Death. I heard the two talking to the judge in a whisper. I heard Anya say that both she and Sabrina were under age and they are allowed to practice. The rest I couldn't hear, but it seemed like it took forever.

Finally the judge said, "The prosecution can call its first witness."

Death pointed a bony finger at Bill Murray, who took the stand and raised his right hand.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth. Do you understand that the Witches and Wizards Council could give you the same sentence if you lie?" asked Richard Mohl.

"Yes, I do."

Bill first told the jury that the Ghost Busters were called to my house because of some suspicious magic. He said that his investigation resulted in him finding out that I let Sarah, my 16-year-old daughter, transform me into her mother.

"Will the defendant please rise."

What about my right to cross examine? What about MY witnesses? Anya stood up and I followed.

"Shelly, you have been found guilty of contributing to the delinquency of a minor. I sentence you to be burned at the stake."

"What? ARE YOU CRAZY?" I yelled as they took me out of the courtroom.

The bailiff took me into the courtyard where there was a wooden pole standing up with wood piled around it. Although I struggled he was able to tie me to that pole. Fear took me as he lit a pole with straw on it.

I started screaming, "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

At that time, Anya's grandmother approached the Wizard, and whispered something in his ear.

"I declare a mistrial," said the Wizard.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"It's okay."

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"It's okay, honey."

"AAAAAAHHH! Huh?"

"You had a nightmare again." It was both a question and statement. I heard his love.

I looked at my love and saw that worried look again.

"Same one?"

I barely nodded my head 'yes'.

He softly held me close. "They really did a number on you at that trial."

"It was worse than the real thing. Just because I didn't know the rules."

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom to pee. That's something that's been getting bad recently. I waddled back to the bed and struggled to lie close to my husband. Being in my thirtieth week, it is hard to get that close with the little one in the way, but I need him more than ever. I need him to keep the monsters away.

Definition of Jewish words: hupah is wedding canopy; mashuguna is crazy.

An Assistant District Attorney gives the final summation to the jury against the accused murderers of Susan Milano, a transsexual. Based on a true story.

WARNING: Rape is mentioned.

The sun was just peeking its head over the horizon on that particular September morning as the clock radio began to wake up the sleeping beauty. It was set to a soothing music station that usually put the assistant district attorney in a happy mood. But today wasn't going to be a happy one even if she did win the case for which she was about to do her summation later that morning. She needed to ask for the death penalty.

There was overwhelming evidence that the defendants had planned to rape and brutally murder the victim, Susan Milano. Although they deserved that sentence, asking for the death penalty always left a bad taste in The ADA's mouth. She believed the death penalty should be only reserved for extremely heinous crimes where the perpetrator was both morally challenged and unsalvageable, like Pol Pot and Eichman, but the ADA needed this conviction for Susan and everyone like her.

When the sleeping beauty finally woke enough to get out of bed she took a quick shower. She wanted to have time to watch the remains of the sunrise or take a leisurely bath, but she didn't have time for those luxuries that day. She needed to get to work and her work included looking good in a conservative way, so instead she needed the extra time to get ready. While taking the shower she made sure that she had no extra body hair especially where she would be showing.

She put on a conservative white panties and bra set. Next was her white blouse with billowed sleeves and a long bowtie connected to the collar. She added a neutral colored pantyhose and two inch royal blue courts. The skirt was also royal blue and quite conservative, as its straight hem was about two inches below the knee. She noted that she needed to loose weight as it fit too snug. A smart looking yellow gold watch soon adorned one wrist and two yellow gold bracelets decorated the other. Small yellow gold earrings with three diamonds each went into the single hole in each earlobe. After putting on some makeup at her vanity she added some perfume. As she left her apartment she took the royal blue jacket that matched her skirt.

She arrived at the courthouse in her small Hyundai after a brief stop at the bagel shop that was on the way to get a whole-wheat bagel, which she needed to eat in the car. Before entering the courtroom she went into the lady's room and checked how she looked. She only needed to fix her jacket, brush some crumbs from her skirt, fix her hair slightly and reapply her lipstick.

She sat down at the District Attorney's table about a minute before the jury filed in. Some of the jurors were staring at her. She knew why they were staring, so she knew she was getting the effect that she needed. However, the defense attorney was furious.

The judge entered as the court did the "All rise" thing.

"Is the prosecution ready?" the judge asked.

"Ready for closing arguments, your honor," she replied.

"May we approach the bench?" her opponent asked.

The judge motioned them to approach and speak privately.

"Your honor, the ADA's dress is highly inappropriate," the defense attorney whispered.

"Your honor, as you probably noticed, I am dressed similarly to the other women attorneys that have practiced in your court and the other courts in this building. I doubt that what I am wearing is that much different from what you are wearing underneath your robes except for maybe the colors. You honor might remember that I have been dressed this way in your court before. Besides, the way I am dressed today is essential to my closing arguments."

"But, your honor," the defense attorney continued. "Until today the ADA was dressed as a man."

"Stealth, your honor. All my clothes are female. As your honor knows from previous private conversations, I no longer have male clothing. What I was wearing for the trial until today may have looked like male clothes, but Laura Scott, Amy Vanderbilt and others designed them to fit the bodies of women. What I am usually doesn't have any bearing on the cases I present before you or the other judges. Today it does."

"You may proceed," The judge told her. "But be aware that there still may be a mistrial because of your actions."

"I understand, your honor," she replied. "Thank you."

Confidently, the ADA walked to the jury and said, "As I promised when I first spoke to you a few days ago, the people have shown that the defendants did forcibly enter the deceased, Susan Milano, and raped her. Their confession, such as it was, is only part of the evidence. The semen of BOTH defendants was found in her body. Susan's wounds were consistent with forced entry. For example, there was no evidence of petroleum jelly near her opening where the semen was found. They said that they brutally murdered her because she was what is commonly called a t-girl. That is a transsexual. Yes, Susan Milano was born in a boy's body but looked and felt like a girl.

"Some of you would want to use the male forms for Susan. It is not my job to argue with you about that today. Some of you may think that the defendants had a right to be angry because, as they claimed, they were fooled. They were so angry she fooled them, yet they still raped her BEFORE brutally murdering her. They knew what she was when the raped her, yet they CONTINUED the rape. They then buried her in a shallow grave. They said they just happened to have the rope they bound Susan and a shovel with them in the car. Quite frankly, I think they lied. The rope and the shovel prove they had PLANNED to rape Susan. They had PLANNED to murder her. That is blatant premeditation, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, of both the rape and the murder.

"The defense claims a defense of something they call 'gay panic.' If you accept that defense than you also condone what the Nazis did during the Second World War to Gays and Jews, Gypsies and Poles. Both what the Nazis did and the defendants did was pure murder.

"That is why I need your help, today. I need your protection. For you see I am, like Susan, a transsexual. Like Susan and other women, I can be raped. Like Susan I can be murdered by someone who is: quote, 'a real man,' unquote. But to a real man it wouldn't make a difference if I or any other transsexual were found out. Some of those real men would still want to have sex with me or another transsexual, some would not. That would be their choice. But NONE would force themselves on me or any other woman, and NONE would kill me or any other transsexual, because, unlike these predators, they are real men.

"So, PLEASE, I beg you, to protect me from a predator who would rape a woman because she is a woman or kill a transsexual because she is a transsexual. The evidence is conclusive that they did the crimes. Even if you think that transsexuals are perverted, you MUST convict. Even if you think that what a transsexual does is against G-d's laws, you MUST convict. Raping and murdering someone are two of the worst perversions. Raping and murdering someone are the worst violations of G-d's laws. Save me and others like me from the same fate Susan received.

But it is not just me that needs your protection today. It is the child or spouse that are the victims of abuse; it is the victims of religious and ethnic prejudice, including racism. In fact it is all the victims of those who think they are above the law because no one is above the law, not even me.

It is said that in order for evil to triumph the good do nothing. I contend that if the good do nothing they are not good. They are part of the evil. I am asking twelve good people do what is necessary and convict all the defendants of rape and murder."

--SEPARATOR--

In memory of Gwen Araujo who was, according to evidence brought out in the trials, brutally murdered because she was a transsexual. All defendants either pleaded guilty of a lesser charge of manslaughter or were convicted of murder.

“It is said that in order for evil to triumph the good do nothing. I contend that if the good do nothing they are not good. They are part of the evil.” is a paraphrasing of devar torah by Rabbi Benjamin Sendrow of Shaary Tefilla (Carmel In) for Pashah Vayeira, 12 November 2012, using Bereshit (Genesis) 18:1-33 & 22:12 (“Do not stretch out your hand against the lad nor do anything to him…”)

The date of this posting and reposting is November 20.

I thank Judy White for giving me the idea for this story. I also thank Kimmie Townsend, Holly H Hart and Holly Wholeman for their editorial and proofing assistance.