Bah Humbug

Nikkie Silk

Ben wasn't sure if he had heard the first knock on the door as he was
concentrating so hard on what he was doing. It was probably only the
second knock which penetrated his thoughts, making him sit back and sigh
in frustration. Shit, he thought, I don't need this interruption. His
research paper was due in a few weeks and he needed to focus on it.
He pushed back the chair from the table and with a frown on his face,
walked to the front door. As he passed the hall window, he saw the long
predicted rain had arrived. It was already mixed with sleet, and snow
was forecast later on. He opened the door coming face to face with a
bedraggled figure. It was a young door-to-door seller carrying a plastic
box full of domestic bits and pieces. He had seen them before, boys or
girls trying to make some money by knocking on doors to sell cheap
dusters and scissors for twice their real price.

Before he could say anything, the figure in front of him waved a
laminated card under his nose saying, ‘I'm not a criminal, I'm only
trying to make some money. Will you buy something from me? I need money
for the hostel tonight.’ It was a litany he had heard before, and he
was going to say no, when he noticed how wet the figure was. He put his
glasses on, thinking it was a boy, although with a baggy anorak and a
hoodie over the head, it wasn't easy to tell. Whoever it was looked
soaked to the skin and exhausted. Ben was afraid the boy was going to
collapse on the doorstep.

‘Are you alright?’ Ben asked.

‘Yeah, I’m OK, but will you buy something, please?’ Ben heard despair in
the voice.

The figure staggered a little under the weight of the box and Ben’s
hands went out instinctively to try to catch him before he fell. The boy
didn't look very old, and the wet hoodie and jeans didn't conceal how
thin he was. Ben knew he should send him on his way, but he couldn't
make him go back out in this weather in this state.

‘Look, you're cold and soaked through. This weather isn't going to ease
up. Come in and dry off. I’ll make you a cup of tea or something. It's
freezing out here.’ Ben already felt the cold seeping through his own
shirt.

The figure looked up and Ben thought he'd made a mistake.By the shape of
the face and the eyes it might be a girl under the hoodie. Ben supposed
he, or she, was trying to work out if he was a serial killer preying on
young door-to-door salespeople. The primal need to be warm and dry
seemed to overcome any reservations, ‘If I can come in for a few
minutes, maybe have a tea?’ The voice was quiet and Ben still wasn't
able to tell if it was a boy or girl. He opened the door wide to let the
figure past.

***

She had reached the end of her tether by the time she knocked on the
door of the cottage. It was the last one in the lane before the
countryside began. She didn't hold out much hope of a sale. The people
in these types of houses were more likely to call the police than buy
anything from her. When the young guy opened the door, a frown on his
face and glasses dangling from his fingers, she launched into her spiel.
Experience had taught her to say it quickly before they had a chance to
say no. She thought he was going to send her on her way, but he took a
second glance at her, even put his glasses on, then made the offer for
her to come inside for a tea. She hesitated, life had taught her to be
wary about offers like this. But, she was soaking wet, cold and hungry.
The thought of getting dry was enough to overcome her reservations. When
he moved aside to let her in, she stepped inside, her senses alert for
anything that looked off.

He told her to keep going straight, the kitchen was at the end of the
corridor. He closed the front door following her in. Her cheap anorak
and hoodie were so wet through they were dripping on the kitchen floor
as she stood there clasping the box tightly as if she feared he would
steal it.

‘Put your box on the floor, it won't hurt the tiles,’ he said.

She cautiously lowered the box to the floor, her eyes trying to take
everything in. It was a bright country kitchen with wooden cabinets,
pottery jugs and flowery curtains. She felt a sudden pang as it made her
think of her mother, back in the days when they were still talking.

‘Sit down. Here, use this chair.’ He pulled a wooden backed chair
towards the table and she sat down, feeling the exhaustion sweep over
her. She knew she shouldn't stay, but the chance to get dry and have a
cup of tea was too strong to pass up. He was filling the kettle,
glancing over to her. She looked at him properly for the first time,
thinking he looked OK, a bit nerdy, younger than she had first thought.
He flicked the switch on the kettle before walking across to her.

‘Hi, I’m Ben,’ he said, holding out his hand. She was so surprised she
shook the outstretched hand.

‘Oh, you're so wet. Hang on, let me get you a towel to dry yourself.’ He
opened a door, through which she glimpsed a washing machine and a pile
of laundry on a work top. He came back with a towel and she took it
gratefully, wiping her hands and face before starting to dry her hair.

‘Sorry, is it OK if I dry my hair on it?’

‘Yes, yes, of course, there are plenty more towels. Is tea OK? I mean
there’s coffee too, if you prefer?’

She wondered if she was dreaming. She never got asked in for tea, let
alone whether she preferred coffee.

‘No, tea’s good, thanks.’ ‘Milk, sugar?’ he called across.
‘Milk, two sugars.’

***

He was now sure it was a girl, but she looked so androgynous that he
forgave himself his mistake of thinking it was a boy. She had taken the
hoodie off, her long hair soaking wet hair hung in curls down to her
shoulders. Her face was devoid of makeup making her look boyish, he
thought. He tried to place her accent. Somewhere up North, Manchester
maybe, he thought, definitely not Birmingham or Liverpool. If so, she
was a long way from home down here in the outer suburbs of London. She
continued to dry her hair as he made the tea. Pouring the boiling water
onto the tea bags, he stole a glance at her. He thought she looked quite
presentable now her hair didn't resemble a rat’s nest.

He walked across to the table, put a mug down in front of her before
pulling up a chair for himself. He noticed the hoodie was still dripping
on the floor.

‘Look, your top is soaking, if you want I can put it through the tumble
dryer for you. It will never dry otherwise.’

‘No, no. I’m alright, it’ll dry in a minute.’

‘It's dripping all over the floor, let me throw it in the dryer, it’ll
be dry in ten minutes.’

***

She looked down at the floor where small puddles of water on the floor
had formed from the dripping wet hoodie. She knew he was right, but
every instinct she had was telling her to be careful. Sensing her
hesitation, he said, ‘if you want you can borrow something of mine to
wear while your top is drying. They’ll be a bit big but they should be
OK.’ He went back into the laundry room, returning with a baggy
sweatshirt.

‘Why are you doing this for me?’ she asked.

He paused before replying, ‘You looked so wet and miserable out there, I
wasn't going to send you on your way. Besides, tomorrow is Christmas
Eve. it's good to do something nice.’ She sat for a moment trying to
work out if he was playing her, but tiredness made her cave in.

‘Drying out my hoodie would be great.’

He grinned, and she thought his smile transformed his face. He passed
her the sweatshirt, ‘You can change in the downstairs cloakroom, it's at
the end of the corridor.’ At that instant her stomach rumbled loudly, a
reminder she hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

He smiled, ‘Do you want a sandwich? There's bread and ham and some
cheese. You’ve reminded me I haven't eaten, I get carried away when I’m
working and forget to eat and drink.’

She thought, in for a penny, in for a pound. ‘A sandwich would be great,
but are you sure?’

He grinned again, ‘Yeah, it's only a sandwich, I can do one of those.
I’ll have it done when you come back.’

She walked down the corridor and as she got to the door, she turned to
look back. He was cutting the bread, and she thought maybe she might
have had some good luck for once.

She closed the door of the cloakroom turning the key in the lock, just
in case. She stripped off the hoodie dumping the sodden mess on the
floor. Her t-shirt was also wet through and that joined the hoodie. The
jeans were soaked from the knees down and she wondered if she could get
them done too. She shrugged them off standing there in her knickers. She
instinctively checked her face in the mirror. She looked tired, but that
wasn't surprising. She ran her hands over her small breasts and when she
touched the nipples, they tingled making her shiver. She pulled on his
baggy shirt which came down to the middle of her thighs. She decided it
covered up pretty much everything well enough. She definitely didn't
want anything showing. After checking herself in the mirror once more,
she unlocked the door and walked back to the kitchen.

***

As he made the sandwich he thought, it's a good question. Why am I doing
this? He didn’t need the interruption, but he knew his concentration was
blown the moment he went to answer the door. Still, why had he asked her
in? Why was he making her tea and sandwiches? He hadn’t seen anyone
since Sean and Carol had left a few days earlier for their trip to the
Amazonian rain forest. It meant that he would spend Christmas here, but
that wasn't a hardship as he hated the Christmas holiday. The whole
commercial charade made him sick.

That had been part of the attraction though. House sitting for a couple
of friends for a few months seemed an ideal way to get on with his
research paper. He was, if anything a little ahead of schedule, so this
little distraction probably wouldn't cost him too much time.

He looked up as she came back into the kitchen wearing only his
sweatshirt and carrying her wet clothes. The shirt was short enough to
reveal quite a bit of her legs, and he felt himself go a little pink as
she caught him looking at them.

‘Do you mind if I dry my jeans too?’ she said.

‘No, not at all. Give them to me and I’ll put them through the dryer.
Your sandwich is on the table.’

He disappeared into the laundry room putting her wet clothes into the
dryer. She was attacking the sandwich as he came back in, making him
think she hadn’t eaten for a while. He watched her eat as he drank his
tea, and when she saw him looking said, ‘What?’

‘You didn't tell me your name,’ he said.

‘Sandy,’ she said, ‘short for Alexandra.’

‘Nice name, where are you from?’

She looked back at him without answering.

‘Sorry,’ he said, ‘none of my business.’

She nodded, ‘Yep.’

Feeling a little rebuffed he went back to watching her eat. Elven, he
thought, that's her look. She was small and slender, with a pretty face
and delicate hands, her hair tumbling down over her ears. He thought it
wouldn't be at all surprising if they were pointed. He smiled to
himself, imagining she had come from Rivendell, straight out of the
pages of Lord of the Rings.

***

She knew he was watching her, but she didn't mind that too much. She
probably shouldn't have been so rude when he asked her where she came
from, but it wasn't any of his business. He was nice looking, not
handsome, but interesting. She thought if he lost the glasses and got a
better haircut he would look attractive. Thinking she should be nicer,
considering what he was doing for her, she said, ‘Nice place you got
here.’

‘Oh, no, it's not mine. I’m house sitting for friends of my professor
while they’re away on an expedition. The Amazon. They're biologists.’ He
realised he was babbling. ‘I have some work to do on a research paper,
so it’s good timing for us all.’ God, he thought, why did he always have
to over explain himself?

‘What's it about? Your paper, I mean.’

‘Oh, it's not so interesting, honestly.’

‘Oh, you think I’m too stupid to understand?’ She meant it more
light-heartedly than it sounded.

He went bright pink, ‘No, no, it's just a bit obscure, it's about the
effectiveness of different therapies following male SRS. Sex
reassignment...’

‘Surgery.’ She finished it off.

‘You know about SRS?’

She knew she shouldn't have tried to show off by finishing off the
sentence, but for some reason she wanted him to know she wasn't stupid.

‘A bit, read about it. Friend of mine thought about doing it. Are you a
doctor then?’

‘No, a psychologist. Did you friend go through with it?’

‘No, no, only talked about it. Are my clothes dry yet?’

He went to check before coming back frowning, ‘No, I’m sorry I pressed
the wrong programme. I've never used this machine before. I've put in on
the right one now. I’m sorry.’

‘Ok, if you have to do some work, go ahead, I’ll sit here and wait if
you don't mind.’

***

His laptop was in the next room so he thought it wouldn't do any harm to
leave her here. He could do some editing and make a fresh start
tomorrow. He worked for a while, losing track of the time as he usually
did. He heard the dryer announcing it had finished the cycle with an
irritating electronic noise that would wake the dead. He listened, but
he didn't hear Sandy move as he assumed she would want to get her
clothes out. He pushed back his chair and walked into the kitchen as the
dryer continued to buzz its annoyance. Sandy was asleep at the table,
her head on her arms. She must have been dog-tired he thought, the
warmth and the food probably pushing her into sleep. He smiled as her
face looked so peaceful, so he decided to leave her to sleep a little
while longer.

He turned off the dryer, but she hadn't moved when he returned. He crept
past her to the room he had made his study sitting down at his laptop
once more. He started to edit his work again, becoming so engrossed an
hour had passed before he checked his watch. He listened, but couldn't
hear anything from the kitchen, so he walked through to find Sandy still
asleep. The only change was she had shifted her head from one arm to the
other. He hated to wake her, but it had to be done.

‘Sandy, Sandy, wake up.’ He spoke softly at first, but as she didn't
stir, he called her name louder and louder. When she didn't wake, he
rocked her shoulder with his hand but still she didn't wake up. He
thought she must have been exhausted to be in such a deep sleep. She
reminded him of his sister’s children. They fell straight asleep and
were out for the count. Nothing would wake them until they were good and
ready. What to do with Sandy? He knew he should wake her, but she looked
as if she needed the sleep.

There was a sofa pushed against the wall of the kitchen and he thought
if he could get her to lay there she would be far better off. Once more
he wondered why he was doing this. Fine, offering someone in need a cup
of tea is one thing, but then drying their clothes and making them food
is surely something else. Looking at her again, he thought there was
something about the girl which touched him. He knew he had a thing for
waifs and strays of all kinds, yet there was something more. He sensed a
vulnerability in her which compelled him to help her.

He couldn't think of a way to get her across to the sofa without
carrying her, and that was out of the question. He had dealt with
vulnerable people before and the risks involved in any physical contact
were too high to contemplate. All he came up with was to place a pillow
gently beneath her head and to cover her up with a blanket. He folded
her clothes, noticing how threadbare they were, placing them next to her
on the table. Glancing out of the window he saw the rain had turned to
snow. Small flakes being blown around by the wind like confetti at a
wedding. This wasn't going to let up for a few hours, so he thought he
would let her sleep, she wouldn't be able to go far in this weather.

He returned to his laptop and sighed as he realised he wouldn't be
getting any more work done today. It was coming up to six o'clock now,
so he logged off from his paper and spent the next hour catching up on
emails which he had been neglecting for the past few days. He hesitated,
then signed into his cloud account, where he kept his stories. He tried
to write at least a couple of pages each day. It was his way of relaxing
and to exercise his imagination in a way that the rigid demands of his
academic work would not allow him. These stories were definitely never
going to be published except anonymously in on-line websites, but he
felt compelled to keep writing them. He had written a few lines for the
story he was working on when he heard a noise from next door. He guessed
it was Sandy waking up, so he lowered the screen on his laptop as she
burst through the door. She had her clothes in her hands and an angry
look on her face.

‘Why did you let me sleep? I have to go. I need to get to the hostel or
they’ll give away my bed. Shit, shit, shit.’ She started to drag her
jeans on as she swore under her breath.

‘I tried to wake you, but you were out for the count. Besides you can't
go out in this,’ he said, gesturing out of the window where it seemed
the snow was still falling even harder than before.

‘Fuck, can't you do something?’ she said, getting increasingly agitated.

‘Like what? I can't stop it snowing.’

‘I don't know, can't you drive me or something?’

‘No, I don't have a car. Anyway, it wouldn't be any good if I did, I
can't drive.’

‘What? Everyone can drive.’ She was getting increasingly angry now. ‘You
have to do something. This is your fault.’

He paused, trying to control his impulse to snap back at her. ‘Well, I
can't drive, never needed to, or wanted to. What is my fault, anyway?’

She stared at him, ‘You let me sleep and now I’ll miss the deadline at
the hostel, I'll have to sleep on the street tonight, that's what's your
fault.’

She intended the words to sting, and they found their mark. He flushed
as he realised that his act of kindness had created such an unintended
consequence for the girl.

‘I'm sorry, I didn't realise, I thought it would be better for you to
sleep, especially in this weather.’

‘Yeah, my entire fucking life people have been making decisions for me,
without asking me first.’

He knew she wasn't being fair, but the words hurt all the same. He
absolutely knew that he shouldn't say what he was about to, but he said
it anyway, ‘Why don't you stay here tonight?’

She stopped trying to pull her jeans up and glared at him. ‘What? You
can't be serious.’

‘Why not? There's a spare room and I don't want you to sleep rough
because of something I've done. You can get a good night's sleep and be
on your way in the morning.’ He knew he was being reckless, but he found
himself wanting her to say yes.

***

She had woken slowly, trying to work out where she was, before
remembering how the guy had invited her to get dry. The first thing she
saw were her clothes on the table beside her. She thought she must have
dozed off for a few minutes. She stretched and yawned, then caught sight
of the clock on the wall. ‘Fuck,’ she said out loud. The clock showed
7.45, and she had to be at the hostel by 8 o'clock to claim her bed. Why
hadn't he woken her up? She grabbed her clothes and ran into the other
room where she found him hunched over his laptop.

His explanation for why he hadn't woken her was pathetic. Why did
everybody want to do her thinking for her? All through her life, other
people had been making decisions for her without asking her what she
wanted. He was just another one, deciding what was best for her. Why
didn't they ever learn to ask her first? She saw that her words had hurt
him, but she didn't care. She would have to sleep rough tonight because
of what he had done. She wanted him to know that.

Then, he made his offer. She didn't believe what he had said at first.
Stay the night here? Well, that was never going to happen. Then she
looked out of the window where he was waving his arm. The snow was
coming down hard like a white sheet covering the window. Her heart sank
as she knew she couldn't go back out in that. Should she risk staying
here? He seemed OK, but experience had taught her that was no guarantee
of safety. Living as she did though, had also taught her not to turn her
nose up at an opportunity.

‘Ok, if I stay, where do I sleep?’

‘There's a spare bedroom you can use.’

She was still hesitant, her senses on high alert. She tried to read what
his motives were from his face, but there was nothing she could tell
from the way he was looking at her. She looked out of the window once
more at the snow and made her mind up.

‘OK, I don't have much choice do I?’ She was still mad at him, but his
gesture had thrown her off balance.

‘Look, I'm sorry for what's happened.’ he said, ‘It's not what I
intended. Let me show you the room first.’

She realised she was still holding her jeans in her hand and hurriedly
pulled them on. She hoped his sweat shirt she was wearing had covered
her knickers. She followed him as he opened a door in the kitchen which
opened up into a small bedroom. It was basic, with a single bed, a small
chest of drawers and a bicycle standing against the wall. It looked
clean, and most importantly there was a lock on the door.

‘Sorry, it's my bike. I told you I don't drive, so I ride a lot. I'll
move it if you want.’ She shook her head, sharing the room with a bike
didn't worry her in the slightest. She had slept in many places worse
than this. What she didn't understand was why he was so keen to please
her. What was his game? Everyone had a game, but she couldn't work out
what his was.

***

He knew he was overcompensating for what he had done. It wasn't his
fault that it was snowing so hard. After all he had only meant to be
kind. But, there was something about her that made him want to make it
up to her. He shouldn't be inviting strangers into the house, but he
couldn't bear the thought of her sleeping rough. When she had burst into
the kitchen after waking up, her eyes had blazed with anger, yet that
spark of emotion had drawn him to her.

‘Sandy, I'm going to make some dinner, it's only pasta with a tomato
sauce I made and defrosted, would you like some?’

Her stomach growled at the thought.

‘Yeah, I would like that, thanks.’

He thought she must be hungry by the way her face lit up when he
mentioned food.

‘Ben, can I help with anything?’ she asked.

‘Thanks Sandy, can you get some plates out of the cupboard over there?
And some knives and forks from the drawer above. I'm going to have a
glass of wine, do you want one?’ He sensed her hesitation. ‘If you
don't, that's fine, there's water in the fridge, if you prefer. Can you
open that bottle of red over there and pour me a glass?’ She opened it
and looked around for a glass.

‘In the bottom cupboard, right where you're standing.’ He said. She bent
down, and he caught himself looking as the jeans tightened across her
bum. Her hair, now dry, was blonder than it had appeared when it was wet
and she kept pushing it behind one ear, a gesture that somehow made her
look even more vulnerable. He went back to reheating the sauce as he
heard the sound of wine being poured into a glass.

***

She felt his eyes on her, even though her back was turned. She didn't
mind, so long as it was only looking. She blushed a little as there had
been times when she had slept with a man simply to get a meal and a warm
bed for the night. She poured him a glass and thinking, what the hell,
she poured herself a glass. She handed him the glass as he stirred the
sauce, ‘Cheers, Ben, thank you.’

He grinned at her, ‘I am sorry, you know. I deserved what you said about
making decisions for you without asking. I should have known better.’ He
clinked his glass against Sandy’s and she wasn't able to stop herself
smiling.

‘Well, I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have gone off at you like I did. It
wasn't fair, but I was scared.’

‘Can we start again?’ said Ben.

‘Sure, I’m Sandy.’

‘And I’m Ben, pleased to meet you Sandy.’ He smiled and she liked the
way it lit up his face.

Ben brought across the bowls of pasta and sauce, serving portions for
both of them. Sandy was wolfing it down, and he felt a pang of
conscience as he realised how hungry she must be. She looked up and said
with her mouth half full, ‘S’great, thanks. Tastes wonderful.’

He smiled, ‘There's plenty more left. Help yourself.’ She piled a second
helping onto her plate while Ben refilled his glass of wine and offered
one to Sandy. She nodded, and he poured some into her glass. She held
her hand out to stop him, ‘S’enough, thanks.’

She looked around, noticing something for the first time, ‘You haven't
got any Christmas stuff up.’

‘It's because I hate Christmas.’

Sandy stopped, her fork halfway to her mouth, ‘You hate Christmas? How
can anyone hate Christmas?’

He shrugged his shoulders, ‘Well I do. It's an excuse for businesses to
persuade you to buy a whole load of stuff you don't want or need. People
end up getting into debt for the rest of the year to pay for it all. The
Samaritans take more calls at Christmas than at any other time of the
year because families end up fighting with each other when they get on
each other’s nerves. Plus, the whole thing starts about September so you
can't go into a shop between then and Christmas without hearing Slade
singing Merry bloody Xmas Everybody.’

Sandy looked stunned. ‘Wow, didn't you enjoy Christmas as a kid?’

Ben frowned, ‘No, I grew up in an orphanage. It was a hateful place.
Christmas was the worst time.’

She felt guilty, ‘I'm sorry, it couldn't have been much fun then.’

‘No it wasn't. So, I never celebrate Christmas, too many bad memories.’
He shivered a little as he remembered how miserable he had been at this
time of the year in the orphanage.

Sandy smiled at him, ‘Still, it's a real white Christmas this year.’ He
felt his heart jump a little at how her eyes sparkled when she smiled.
He watched as she took another helping before eventually sitting back
and burping loudly. Ben laughed and Sandy went bright red, covering her
mouth with her hand.

‘I’m so sorry. It was so good.’

‘Don't worry, in some cultures, that's a compliment.’

‘Ben, thanks for the meal and everything, but do you think I can get
some sleep. I feel so tired.’

‘Sure, no problem. I hope you get some rest.’

She stood up and started to walk towards her room. She stopped, came
back and gave him a peck on the cheek, ‘Thanks, Ben, you’ve been great.’

She giggled then ran back to the room, closing the door behind her. Ben
sat there for a while, staring at the door and wondering why that little
peck on the cheek made him feel so good. He finished his glass of wine,
stacked the dishes in the dishwasher before going to his bedroom. He
found it difficult to sleep, his mind going over what had happened, and
why he had acted as he did. He finally decided he had done the right
thing, falling asleep with a smile on his face.

Something woke him, and he lay there for a moment trying to work out
what it was. His mouth was dry, so he got up to fetch a glass of water
from the kitchen. He had filled the glass when he thought he heard a
noise, like someone sighing in the distance. He stood listening for a
moment, but heard nothing. it must have been the wind outside, he
thought. He was heading back to bed when he heard it again. This time it
seemed to be coming from Sandy’s room. He tiptoed across, and despite
feeling a little guilty put his ear to the door. He could clearly hear
the sound of crying. He tapped on the door, ‘Sandy? Are you OK?’

The noise stopped, then restarted. Ben tapped on the door again, ‘Are
you OK?’

‘I’m OK, please go away.’

He shrugged, short of breaking down the door there was little more he
could do. He walked back to his room. Looking back at Sandy’s door, he
felt something lurch in his chest as he heard the crying start once
more. He lay in his bed, wondering about how someone like Sandy ended up
living so close to the edge. He thanked his lucky stars that he had
survived his childhood, but he knew how lucky he had been. If things
hadn’t gone his way, it might have been him out there today. He finally
fell asleep thinking about that kiss on the cheek.

His alarm woke him up at seven o'clock as usual. Sometimes he went for a
run or a ride on the bike before making breakfast and getting started on
his work. One look out of the window convinced him that wasn't going to
happen today. By the depth of snow on the bushes outside, it must have
snowed even heavier during the night. Ben shivered just looking at the
flurries being whipped about by the wind, and the clouds looked heavy
with more snow. There was no sign of Sandy as he walked into the kitchen
and he assumed she must still be asleep. It was only when he had
finished making some tea that he noticed the piece of paper on the
table. He picked it up, his heart sinking as he read what was written
there.

Ben, thank you for last night. It was kind of you to take me in and to
give me some food and a place to sleep. I can't thank you enough. I have
to get going though, so thank you again and I hope you find out one day
that Christmas isn't all bad. You're a lovely guy, love Sandy.

Ben looked but couldn't see Sandy’s plastic box and he realised she had
already left. He looked through the window to see the snow had started
to fall again. It was coming down in big fat flakes and Ben knew it
would be freezing outside. How could she have gone out in weather like
this with only a thin coat and her hoodie? He looked out of the front
door and saw fresh footprints in the snow leading up to the gate, then
turning left up the lane. He went back inside, sat down and picked up
his tea. What could he do? She had made her own choice. It wasn't
anything to do with him anymore. He took a sip of the tea, then swore to
himself and looked around for his coat.

***

Sandy hadn't been able to get back to sleep after she heard Ben knock on
her door. She was grateful for his kindness. She hadn’t had a meal like
that for ages, and to sleep in a proper bed by herself had been
wonderful. But she knew this couldn't last. She needed to get back on
the road again, try to make some money from people who might feel sorry
for her at Christmas and buy some of her stuff. She got dressed and
crept out into the kitchen, picked up her box and was about to leave
when she thought she couldn't just disappear like this. Ben had been too
kind for that. She found a piece of paper, hastily writing a thank you
note. She thought her mother would be pleased about that at least if
about nothing else she did these days.

She slipped on her anorak and opened the front door as quietly as
possible. By the light of a solitary street light she saw it had stopped
snowing, but it lay deep on the garden path. She hesitated as she looked
out, but then squared her shoulders, closed the door behind her and
started down the path. She would get a bus back to the shelter, then set
out to try her luck in another patch. She started to shiver as the cold
cut through her thin coat and her shoes were soaked by the time she got
halfway up the lane. She looked back once, but even the street light
outside Ben’s house had disappeared in the snow.

She had to keep moving to keep warm, so she plodded on, the box growing
heavier in her hands, which were already shaking with the cold. She
reached the end of the lane and turned left to where she remembered
there were some shops. She would surely find a cafe to sit in with a cup
of tea to warm up. She found the cafe in the middle of the row of shops,
but there was no sign of life inside. It surely wouldn't be long before
the cafe opened, she thought, as she sat down in the doorway to wait.

***

Ben plodded up the lane, pulling his collar up to keep the snow from
trickling down his neck. You're barking mad, he told himself. She's long
gone, probably sitting on a warm bus right now. He half thought about
turning around, but something made him keep going. It was eerie walking
in the snow. There were the tyre tracks of one or two cars in the road,
but there was no-one else about. There was a spectral quality to the
light as it reflected off the snow, softening and distorting the edges
of everything it covered. The snow also seemed to deaden sound, and it
was eerily quiet as Ben walked further up the lane. Sandy's footprints
were clear enough in front of him, and he would keep going until he
couldn't see them anymore.

He got to the end of the lane, following the tracks which seemed to lead
to the small parade of shops. Even here there was no sign of life. Ben
wondered if this was what life after humans would look like. He followed
the footprints across the road towards a cafe in the middle of the row
of shops. The snow was falling heavier now, but he thought he could see
something in the doorway of the cafe. There were no lights on inside and
he guessed the owners had taken one look out of the window, then decided
to have an early Christmas. He began to run the last few steps as he saw
a bright blue box in the doorway, and Ben’s stomach dropped as he
recognised Sandy's anorak.

Ben stumbled as he reached her, almost falling on top of her. She was
hunched over with her head on her chest and her arms wrapped around her
knees. Calling her name, he shook her shoulder, but she didn't respond.
He saw her eyelids flutter as he tried again, but that was all. Her hand
felt like ice when he touched it. He knew he had to get her warmed up,
so he took off his coat, wrapping it around her shoulders. She moaned
softly as he did, opening her eyes briefly, but not seeming to recognise
him. He took off his hat and stuck it on her head before kicking the box
out of his way. He would come back for it, or pay for the whole thing if
it came to that. She felt as light as a feather in his arms as he picked
her up. He retraced his steps, slipping a couple of times in the
deepening snow. He stopped to wrap his coat around her as tightly as he
could before carrying on. Without his coat and hat he began to shiver as
he tried to walk as fast as he dared. He was shivering by the time he
got to the front door and in fumbling for his keys he almost dropped
her. She opened her eyes, smiled as she looked up at him, then closed
her eyes again.

Ben carried her through to the bedroom before taking off the coat and
hat which were now wet through. Her hands were still icy cold when he
felt them. He rubbed them between his hands, but he soon realised that
would do little to help as he was still shivering himself. He knew he
would have to get rid of all her clothes which had been soaked by the
snow before she could warm up. He hesitated for a moment. He was going
to have to take everything off, but the situation overrode any concerns
about modesty.

Pulling her upright he lifted the hoodie up and over her head. She was
wearing a t-shirt underneath which was also wet through, so he pulled
that off as well. He thought she would be wearing a bra but as he
removed the t-shirt he was surprised to see her small puffy breasts
appear. He stopped, slightly embarrassed, but this was no time to be
prudish. Throwing the duvet over her, he ran to his room grabbing a pair
of his pyjamas and a couple of thick sweaters. By the time he got back
she had begun to shiver, which he thought he had read somewhere was a
good sign, the body beginning to warm up.

With a little struggle he got his pyjama top on her and managed to pull
a sweater over the top. Her jeans had to come off next, but they were so
wet it was difficult to pull them down. He yanked hard, and they began
to move when Sandy moaned, briefly opening her eyes before closing them
again. He hoped he wasn't hurting her and tugged at the jeans one more
time before they slid down to her knees. The jeans had caught on her
knickers and they came down too. Ben looked up, almost falling over in
shock. Nestling in her groin wax a small but unmistakable penis.

He stared at it, not quite believing his eyes. For a split second he
wondered if it was real, then realised how stupid that was. Sandy moaned
again and seemed to be coming round, so he quickly wrapped the duvet
over her before going to fetch his own, laying that on top of her as
well. He touched her face which didn't seem quite as cold as it was
before. He felt himself begin to shiver as the adrenaline rush left him.

He needed to get warm as well. His hands were shaking as he made some
tea. Nothing in his life had felt as good as that cup of tea, he
thought. He sat by the side of Sandy’s bed and watched as she blinked
once or twice before her eyes opened fully. He smiled down at her, ‘Hi
Sandy. How are you feeling?’

She frowned, ‘Where am I? I’m so cold.’

‘You went out in the snow and I think you have hypothermia. You were out
for the count when I found you and brought you back.’

‘Oh. I can't remember.’ She tried to sit up but fell back on the pillow,
‘I'm shivering.’ Her teeth were chattering loudly.

‘I'll get you something to warm you up.’ He went back to the kitchen to
make another cup of tea. ‘Here, drink some of this. It will help warm
you up.’

Ben held the mug for her as her hands were trembling so much. He wrapped
her fingers around the mug to warm them up as she sipped the tea. She
looked up at him as if recognising him for the first time. ‘Ben, thank
you.’
‘You're welcome, Sandy. Drink the rest of the tea.’

She drank some more before laying back on the pillow again. ‘I feel so
tired and I have a headache.’

‘It’s OK, I’ll be here.’ He watched as her eyes closed again. She seemed
to be shivering less and her hands felt less cold than before. Ben
finished his tea, thinking about what he had just seen. It had been a
shock to see that she had a penis that's for sure. He recalled that
yesterday, he had been confused about whether she was a boy or a girl.
He now realised he knew why. That's fine, he thought, if she wants to
identify as female that's her choice. What he couldn't work out was the
thrill he felt as he thought about her. He looked at his watch, it was
already 11 o'clock so he knew he wasn't going to get any work done
today.

***

Sandy slowly woke up. The duvet wrapped around her felt so comfortable.
She didn't feel like moving at all. She opened one eye to see Ben
sitting on a chair next to the bed reading a book. She didn't move as
watched him. What was it he had said? She had gone out in the snow and
he had brought her back. Try as she might she couldn't remember
anything. As her mind began to clear she felt the duvet against her bare
legs. That meant she didn't have her jeans on. Shit, he must have
undressed her and put her to bed. She felt her face go red as she
realised he must know about her. Fuck, she thought, she had to get away.

He looked up from his book, smiling as he saw she was awake, ‘Hi Sandy,
how are you feeling?’

‘I have to go,’ she said. ‘Where are my clothes? I have to leave.’

He frowned, ‘Look, I didn't go out this morning to stop you from
freezing to death to allow you to try the same trick again.’

What was he saying? Freeze to death? She groaned as flashes of memory
flickered into her mind. Walking up the lane, feeling colder and colder.
Sitting in the doorway of the cafe waiting for them to open. Being
carried back down the lane. Feeling so cold she couldn't even shiver.
Drinking tea so hot it burnt her mouth. Oh shit. He must think she's a
freak. Maybe he's called the police already to have her picked up. She
had to get away. She struggled to sit up, but the weight of the duvets
pulled her back done. ‘I have to get going, thanks for everything, but I
can't stay here.’

‘Sandy,’ he said firmly, ‘You're not going anywhere today, even if I was
going to let you, which I’m not. It snowed so hard there’s no public
transport and the lane is closed to cars. It's still snowing. The
heaviest fall this century they're saying on the radio. So, you're not
going anywhere.’

‘Have you called the police?’

‘Why on earth would I call the police? I was going to call the ambulance
if you didn't wake up, but not the police.’

‘Because you think I'm a freak.’ She was close to panic. He laughed, and
flushed with anger and fear she said, ‘What's so fucking funny?’

‘I'm sorry, I wasn’t laughing at you. Just at the thought of me thinking
you're a freak. No, I don't think you're a freak. I assume you mean
because I must have undressed you and found you have a penis. Is that
it?’

She nodded, her face blazing.

‘Sandy, I don't care about that. That's your business, not mine. I have
not called the police and never would. I don't think you're a freak, all
I want is for you to get better.’

She sank back on the pillow. ‘I'm sorry. I'm used to people who hate me
for what I am.’

‘That's incredibly sad, Sandy. But I'm not one of them.’

Sandy looked away, unable to hold eye contact with him.

‘Do you want some more tea?’

She nodded.

‘OK, I’ll go make some. I couldn't get my pyjama bottoms on you, so if
you want to wear them, they’re right here. Your stuff is still drying.
It was so wet.’

He left the room, closing the door behind him. She unwrapped herself
from the duvet to find she was wearing a sweater and what must be his
pyjama top. She picked up the pyjama bottoms and pulled them on. They
were a bit too long and too loose at the top, but she managed to roll up
the legs and tie them tight enough to fit. She groaned as she looked at
herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess and her face was deathly
white. Shit, what was she going to do? She hesitated before opening the
door, but she knew she had to face him. Ben was standing by the table
with two mugs of steaming tea.

‘OK, sit down and have some tea.’ She did as she was told as he plonked
the mug in front of her. ‘Are you hungry, do you want some breakfast?’

She nodded, still unable to speak to him.

‘Eggs, bacon, baked beans are my speciality. Would that be OK?’

‘I don't want to cause you any trouble,’ she said. Then realising that
after what he had done for her that sounded ungrateful. ‘I mean, thank
you for what you did this morning, but I don't want to cause any more
trouble.’

‘Well, I'm going to have some anyway, if you want some, that's no
problem,’

‘Yes please, then. If you're sure.’

She sipped the scalding hot tea as she watched him make breakfast. He
was humming to himself as the smell of cooking bacon wafted through the
kitchen. She smiled as she recognised the tune, ‘Fairy-tale of New
York’, she thought it was called. So he did have something about
Christmas in him. His hair was a mess, and he needed a shave, but she
thought he looked sweet even in jeans and a sweatshirt. He looked
younger this morning, somehow more boyish, she thought. His eyes were a
lovely shade of blue, and the corners of his eyes crinkled when he
smiled. Why had she not seen that last night? His hands looked nice with
slender fingers and his smile lit up his face.

‘I’m sorry, Ben, for causing all this trouble. I’ll be on my way as soon
as I can.’

‘Sandy, I’m just glad you're OK. You had me worried this morning after I
found your note. But you need to get back on your feet. If the weather
stays like this, you're not going anywhere for a while, anyway.’

She looked out of the window for the first time to see it was still
snowing with big fat flakes of snow drifting in the breeze. He brought
two plates to the table, piled with eggs and bacon, beans and slices of
toast as well. Her stomach rumbled. She had forgotten the last time she
had a breakfast like this.

‘Tuck in. Oh, by the way, is there anyone you want to get in touch with
to let them know you're OK?’

‘No, there's no need, but thank you.’ She looked around, ‘Where's my
box?’

‘I couldn't carry you and the box back. When we've had this, I’ll go up
there to get it.’

She started to panic again, ‘You don't understand that's my only way of
making money.’

‘Sandy, if it's not there, I’ll pay for the whole box, don't worry.’

She stood up, ‘I can't let you do that, I’ll go get it now.’

‘In my pyjamas? I don't think you'll get far.’ She sat down again and
began to cry.

***

Ben knew he shouldn't, but he reached over to take her hand. ‘Sandy,
I've finished eating, so I’ll go now. Stay here, finish your food and
keep yourself warm. I've lit a fire in the other room. Go in there, wrap
the duvet round you and I’ll be back before you know it.’

He grabbed his hat and coat before turning to look at Sandy. She looked
so sweet in his sweater and pyjamas. He wanted to hug her and tell her
everything would be OK, but he knew he couldn't do that. As he closed
the door, he saw her mopping up the beans with her toast and a blissful
look on her face.

For the second time that day he trudged up the lane through the snow. He
kept thinking of her laying frozen in the cafe doorway. If he hadn’t
followed her she might have become yet another homeless person to die on
the streets. Something else kept pushing its way into his thoughts. The
sudden frisson of excitement he had felt when he saw her penis.

***

She finished the food and sat there for a moment trying to think things
through. By the look of the weather she was stuck here for a while. Ben
seemed a good guy, but she couldn't work him out. Why he had gone to
find her this morning she didn't know. She also didn't understand why he
was so calm about finding out about her. In her experience, most people,
if they ever found out about her, either got angry or treated her as a
freak. Anyway, it looked as if she had been lucky, in more ways than
one.

She brought one of the duvets from the bedroom and took it into the room
where Ben had lit a fire. She settled down on the sofa to watch the
flames dance in the fire and the logs hiss and spit. The smells and
sounds of the burning wood took her back to the days before her parents
had separated. Nothing had gone right for her from the day they told her
they would be divorcing. She started to cry but tried to shake herself
out of it. Crying wouldn't do any good. She felt warm and cosy wrapped
in the duvet, and before long she had slipped off to sleep.

***

Ben found the box exactly where he had left it and as far as he could
see there was nothing missing. The snow was getting even deeper now as
he turned to go back. A few cars were trying to move, but they were
slipping and sliding all over the road. He helped push one woman’s car,
but she gave up, locked it up and walked off, without even saying thank
you to him. That’s the Christmas spirit he thought to himself. He
trudged back to the cottage and let himself in, snow falling from his
coat and hat onto the hall carpet. He smelt the wood burning on the fire
and he walked into the room to find Sandy asleep on the sofa, wrapped up
in the duvet. She looked so peaceful that he didn't wake her to tell her
about the box. He stood looking at her for a moment, and the word that
came to his mind was beautiful.

He let her sleep and when she eventually woke up she shuffled into the
kitchen where he was working on his laptop. He pulled the screen down
quickly when he saw her come in. She thought he looked a bit guilty and
wondered what he had been looking at. She squealed when she saw her box
lying on the floor and everything seemed to be there. She went over to
Ben, wrapped her arms around his neck to give him a hug. ‘Thank you so
much for getting this for me.’

He went red as she hugged him. ‘That's OK, I'm glad it was still there.’

She sat down opposite him and looked him straight in the eyes. He
shifted uneasily, not sure why she was doing this. ‘What?’

‘I am grateful believe me, but why are you doing this for me?’

He thought for a moment, ‘Because it's what I think we should do for
each other. I mean look out for someone when you get the chance. Not
just pass by.’ She tried but couldn't keep the cynical look from her
face. He asked, ‘Why do you look like that?’

‘Because in my experience that's what most people do. Just pass by
without a second look. Sometimes they even give you a kick on the way
past.’

He felt his face flush, ‘Well I'm not most people.’ He decided to change
the subject. ‘Do you want to take a shower?’

‘Why? Do I smell? It wouldn't surprise me if I did. But yes, I'd love a
shower.’

Ben laughed, ‘No, you don't smell, I thought it might help you to feel
better. The bathroom’s through there, between the two bedrooms. There's
a clean towel there as well. Use any of the stuff in the bathroom if you
want. I'll see if your clothes are ready.’

***

Sandy loved the chance to have a shower. She had become accustomed to
going without for days at a time. The hostel showers were not always
safe places to be, especially for someone like her. It was a pretty
bathroom with a large shower cubicle, and most importantly of all the
water was hot. She used his shower gel which made her think about him.
She still found it difficult to believe what he had done for her this
morning. Even in the heat of the shower she shivered at the memory of
how cold she had been.

Sandy thought he was good looking in a nerdy kind of way. In a different
time and place something might have happened between them. That thought
brought an extra warmth to her body that had nothing to do with the hot
water. Wrapping her hair in one towel and a bigger one around herself,
she walked out of the bathroom into the kitchen. She smiled as Ben
looked up from his computer, saw her, nearly dropping the mug of tea he
was holding. He also went bright pink which amused her and set her
wondering.

‘Oh, you’ve finished.’ His face was still bright pink.

‘Yeah, I wondered if there was a hair dryer I can borrow?’

‘Um, yes, I think so. There’s one in my room, I’ll fetch it for you.’

She smiled, ‘Thanks, Ben.’ He seemed to be embarrassed, and she wondered
why. He walked away to fetch the hair dryer. He had left his laptop open
on the table and she couldn't resist having a quick peek at what he was
doing. She assumed it would be his paper he was working on, but when she
read the first few sentences, she began to giggle.

‘Hang on it's here somewhere,’ she heard him shout. She managed to read
a few more paragraphs before he shouted, ‘Found it,’ She moved away
from the laptop, smiling to herself. He came back into the kitchen
handing her the hair dryer. ‘It's not the most powerful but I hope it
will do.’ he noticed her grinning as she took it. ‘Why are you smiling?’

‘Thanks Ben, you're a star.’ Once inside her room she sat on the bed
thinking about what she had read. It explains a lot she thought. Still
smiling she dried her hair and managed to make it look presentable.
Clothes, I need my clothes, I can’t go around like this all night. She
walked back into the kitchen to find Ben listening to the radio and
drinking more tea. God, how much tea did he drink?

‘Thanks for the hairdryer. Are my clothes dry? I need to wear something
other than this towel.’

Ben was staring at her from some reason. She cocked her head to one
side, ‘What’s up?’

‘Oh, nothing, it's only that your hair looks so nice.’

It was her turn to blush, something she thought she would never do
again. ‘Thanks.’

He stood looking at her for a few seconds before jumping up, ‘Oh, I'm
sorry I’ll go see about your clothes.’ He returned from the laundry room
with her jeans, her t-shirt and hoodie, together with a black bin liner
which seemed to be full of something. He laid her clothes on the table
and as she went to pick them up he said, ‘Look, I just remembered.
Carol, that's the woman who lives here, she packed up a whole bagful of
clothes to go to the charity shop. She asked me to take them for her.
Only, I haven't got round to it.’ He pointed to the black plastic sack
and went pink as Sandy stared back at him without saying anything. ‘I
mean It's all clean, she's about your size, I think. If you don't want
to it's OK, but if you do, that's fine too. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
be condescending.’ He was gabbling and knew he should shut up.

‘Ben, I’m sorry but I can't possibly wear someone else’s clothes.’

She watched as his face dropped. ‘I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said
anything, I’ll take it back,‘ he mumbled.

‘I’m kidding you, Ben. It's a lovely thought, thank you. By the way, I
get most of my clothes from charity shops.’

***

Ben had been surprised when Sandy reappeared after drying her hair. He
had no idea how she had done it, but she looked so different from the
pathetic waif who had knocked on the door yesterday. He thought she
looked pretty, and he felt his pulse quicken as she stood in front of
him wearing only a towel which ended about mid-thigh. He went to fetch
her clothes from the dryer and had spotted the bag of Carol’s clothes
which he had forgotten to take to the charity shop. When he returned to
the kitchen Sandy was smiling about something, and he got himself into a
muddle asking her if she wanted any of the clothes.

She had got him with her joke, but it also told him she had a sense of
humour. When she had smiled, his heart did a little flip in his chest.
Sandy disappeared into her room with the bag of clothes which gave him a
chance to think about why she was having this effect on him? His
childhood in the orphanage had left him with a weakness for the
underdog, and a belief that we should help others when they needed it.
He shook his head. That would explain why he took her in, but not the
emotions he felt when he looked at Sandy.

His sex life had been sparse, to say the least. He’d had a few fumbles
with boys back in the orphanage, and he had a couple of very short lived
flings with girls, but they had dumped him pretty quickly. He had
focussed his energies on his studies which left little time to invest in
relationships. He had built a hard shell around his emotions, never
letting anyone close enough to penetrate his defences. At the orphanage
he had always had to look out for himself, and that self-reliance had
stayed with him. He thought he didn't need anyone else. He had also
concluded that he wasn't that interested in sex. If he had to find a
label for himself, it would probably have been asexual, so what he was
feeling now for Sandy was totally unexpected.

Sandy had thrown him completely. He didn't know why she affected him so
much. He admired the way she had dealt with the hand that life had dealt
her, but there was more to it than admiration. She aroused in him
feelings that he thought he had long buried. He couldn't stop thinking
about her, stealing little glances at her. His heart beat a little
faster when she smiled, and he felt a definite excitement when she had
appeared wearing just the towel. He had been surprised to discover she
was transgender, but that was the strangest thing. He liked her for who
she was. What she had between her legs seemed totally irrelevant. He
sighed, she would be moving on soon, so he would just have to conceal
what he was feeling.

***

Sandy sat on the bed looking at the bag of clothes. She had no problem
with wearing them. They were clean he said, and it wasn't as if she had
never worn charity shop clothes before. It was so sweet of him to offer
them, and his reaction was even sweeter when she teased him about it.
She liked him, but he had read that people who had been in danger were
sometimes attracted to their rescuers. She couldn't afford to get too
close to anyone because it always ended in disaster for her. It would be
best for both of them if she got away as soon as possible.

Tipping the bag onto the bed she sorted through what was there. It all
looked clean and freshly washed if in need of an iron. There was some
good stuff here, she thought. Well off people threw too much away, they
didn't value what they had. There were some dresses, skirts, blouses and
tops. There were some good labels too. She held up a dress which seemed
to be about the right size. Shrugging off the towel, she pulled it on
and looked in the mirror. God, she thought, how different do I look? It
had been ages since she had worn anything but jeans and a t-shirt. It
was a sleeveless shift, in a dark floral print that came down to
mid-thigh. Sandy giggled, twirling around to watch herself in the
mirror. It was a long time since she had felt as pretty as this. With a
rush, she realised she wanted to look nice, not only for herself, but
also for Ben.

Ben was adding fresh logs to the fire when Sandy walked into the room.
He had his back to her, so as he turned around and caught sight of her,
she giggled to see his mouth drop open.

‘Do I look OK?’

Two pink spots appeared on Ben’s cheeks as he struggled for his
composure. ‘Um, err, yes. I mean you look great. That dress suits you so
much.’

‘Thanks, are you sure it's OK to wear it?’

‘Carol wanted to throw the stuff away, sure it's OK.’ She sat down on
the sofa, tucking her legs beneath her. ‘I love the fire, it makes me
think of Christmas at home.’ As she said it, a pang of regret passed
through her as she remembered what it had been like when she had a
family.

‘It's still snowing out there, I think we're snowed in for a while.’ he
gestured out of the window, ‘But we have enough food in the freezer for
a few days, and there’s plenty to drink so we should be OK. I was going
to have a drink, do you want something? I'm having red wine. But there's
some other things as well I think.’

‘Wine Is fine for me, thanks.’

‘I was about to start dinner, how about a curry?’

She nodded, ‘Yes please, can I help?’

Ben asked Sandy to start the rice as he prepared the chicken. She liked
having something to do, and it felt nice standing next to Ben as they
prepared the food together. He poured two glasses of wine, giving one to
Sandy. She took a sip before saying, ‘You said you grew up in an
orphanage, but do you have any family at all?’ He turned to look at her
with a frown on his face and she thought she had over stepped the mark.

‘Oh, I'm sorry I shouldn’t be so personal.’

‘No, no, it's OK, I don't mind. The truth is I don't know, I never found
out about my birth parents, so I guess there may be some relatives out
there, but I don't have any desire to find out. I don't think I would
feel anything for them.’

‘Any girlfriends, or are you married?’ He wasn't wearing a ring, but
that meant nothing she knew from experience.

‘No, not married, no girlfriends. Totally boring, I know.’

She felt a little thrill at his answer. Clinking their glasses together,
Sandy said ‘Merry Christmas, Ben.’ He grinned, ‘Happy Holidays, Sandy.’

She laughed, ‘You really don't like Christmas do you?’

Ben served the food in big bowls on the table, and as they ate Sandy
thought carefully about what she was going to say next. As they finished
the food, she took a deep breath and said, ‘Ben, do you have any
questions for me?’

He looked at her for a moment, ‘Sandy, if you want to tell me something
then that's fine, but I don't want to put pressure on you.’

She was a little disappointed. She had opened up about herself,
something she never did, yet he seemed uninterested. Didn't he care?
Then, with a start she realised that was his way of caring. He wanted it
to be her decision to share anything with him. Strangely enough that
made her want to tell him her story. One which she had only told to a
handful of people. She hesitated, took a deep breath, and it all began
to tumble out.

‘My name was Alexander, not Alexandra. I'm 20, but I look more like 18
or so I'm told. My parents divorced when I was eight years old. It hit
me hard as I loved my father, but he and my mother couldn't live with
each other. He moved away, so I saw him at weekends for a while, until
he met someone else with their own family, and well, I guess he
preferred them.’

She took another sip of the wine before continuing.

‘By this time, I knew I wanted to be a girl. I didn't understand what it
all meant, but I didn't want to be with the boys, I wanted to be with
the girls. If there's a male equivalent of a tomboy, that was me. I was
small and slender, androgynous, I guess you would say. I hated the
clothes I wore as a boy, I wanted to wear what the girls did. My mother
didn't understand. Anyway, she was struggling with her own problems. She
resented my father for leaving her, and me, I think, for reminding her
of him. We fought like cats and dogs and It got so bad that when I was
twelve I went to live with my aunt. She was great to me. She hadn't had
children, so she indulged me a lot.’

Sandy ran her hands through her hair and looked away blinking back a
tear.

‘She was kind, clever, generous, didn't judge anyone, loved me, and I
loved her. Somehow she soon realised I was unhappy being a boy, and
after a few long talks together, she made me an offer. She said that at
weekends and holidays she would let me live as a girl. The only
condition was that at school I would be a boy and to work hard at my
studies. I jumped at the idea. To tell the truth, I think my Aunt got a
thrill from it all too.’

She brushed her hand through hair.

‘She taught me how to be a girl, about makeup and dresses, how to walk
and sit and behave as a girl. She said it was wonderful to have both a
nephew and a niece. I had to be a boy at school. An effeminate boy to be
honest, but it meant I was picked on a lot. I coped with it because I
went home to become Sandy. At weekends, I lived as Sandy full time, and
it wasn't long before I was able to pass quite easily as a girl. I
didn't grow much as you can see, so it wasn't so difficult to fool
people. Eventually, we used to go out together as aunt and niece for
shopping trips and days out. We even went on holiday when I could be
Sandy all the time. It was like one of those stories where a young boy
is taken in by his aunt and feminised. Except for me, it was real.’

She watched him but there was no reaction, not even a flickering of his
eyelids.

‘It was a blissful time, and I was so happy. I started to think about
transitioning fully when I reached 18. With my aunt’s approval I started
hormones and everything seemed like a dream. In return, I worked hard at
school and did well. I had an offer of a place at University and was set
to go until one day I came home to find my aunt lying on the floor. She
had suffered a massive heart attack and had died instantly.’

A tear trickled down her cheek and she wiped it away. ‘Oh my God, I’m so
sorry,‘ said Ben.

Sandy nodded, wiped away another tear before going on. ‘It was like I
had been hit with sledgehammer, it seems I had a breakdown of some kind.
I couldn't cope with anything and I spent time in hospital, but the
place I was in closed due to budget cuts and I was pushed out. I was
still in a bad way and hit the streets. I've been there ever since, two
years now.’

Ben reached over and took her hand, ‘How are you now?’

She smiled at him, ‘Don't worry, I not going to do anything bad. I'm
better now, I feel well, but it's been a long haul. I see a doctor, and
he took me off my meds a year ago and I feel good.’

‘Have you tried to get off the streets, get a job?’

‘Do you know how difficult it is to get a job when you're homeless?’

‘No, no. I guess not,’ Ben said, embarrassed by his naivety.

‘Anyway, about a couple of months ago, a solicitor managed to track me
down. He is my aunt’s executor, and it appears that she left me her
house and some money in her will. Except it's in a trust which I can't
get until I'm 21. She didn't expect to die so soon, I guess. None of us
do, I suppose. Anyway, I’m 21 in six months' time, so when that happens
I don't know what I'll do.’

She felt Ben squeeze her hand, and that felt good. ‘That's not too long
to wait.’ he said.

‘No, I guess not. But I’m still on the street. I've been beaten up more
times than I can count and have done some things to get by that I'm not
proud of.’

There was silence for a while then Ben said, ‘Did you contact your
mother?’

Sandy snorted, ‘When she found out what I had become, she freaked out
and wanted nothing to do with me. She hasn't spoken to me since. I could
be dead and she wouldn't care less. My father passed away a few years
back.’

Ben moved his chair next to Sandy and hugged her. ‘I’m so sorry, Sandy,
You’ve had a rough time.’

She looked at him, her eyes glistening with tears, ‘We both have,
haven't we?’

They hugged for a while before Ben said, ‘Come on, it’s late and you’ve
had a rotten day. Go to bed and let's talk some more in the morning.’
Sandy nodded, ‘Ben, thanks for listening to me. You remind me of my
aunt.’ He looked puzzled, ‘She was a good listener, and wouldn’t judge
anyone. Just like you.’ She leaned across to kiss his cheek. Their eyes
met and Sandy for a moment thought he would kiss her back. But, he went
pink and said, ‘You're welcome, Sandy. You deserve more.’

Without a word she stood up and ran to her room, slamming the door
behind her. She threw herself on the bed, punched the pillow thinking
she mustn’t let herself feel like this. It will be over soon, and she
would never see him again.

***

Ben sat at the table for a while and finished the bottle of wine. He
didn't normally drink so much, but Sandy had made him remember his own
childhood in the orphanage, and whenever that happened he knew he would
end up feeling bad. He thought about the moment when she kissed him on
the cheek. He had been so close to kissing her back until he stopped
himself. He couldn't get involved, it wasn't fair to her. He damped down
the fire before locking up and heading for bed. As he passed her door,
he raised his hand to knock on her door, but he shook his head and
walked by.

Ben rarely dreamt about the orphanage, but tonight he was back there and
it was Christmas. He was awake in his bed listening to two other boys
giggling somewhere in the darkness. He knew what they were up to because
he had done the same thing a few times for the comfort it brought. He
heard footsteps padding towards his bed and he felt the sheets being
drawn back as someone slipped into the bed beside him. He felt hands
sliding over his body and his lips were brushed in a soft kiss. As he
turned towards whoever it was, his eyes snapped open as he realised this
was not a dream. He heard someone giggle softly next to him, ‘Merry
Christmas, Ben.’

He started to say something but Sandy rolled on top of him kissing him
with her tongue in his mouth. He tried to push her away, but she was
like a limpet. He stopped struggling, his body responding to her, and he
began to kiss her back. His arms went around her, his fingers stroking
her soft warm skin. He felt her body press into his and his cock began
to harden as she kissed him. He felt something bump into his groin and
he realised it must be her cock. He froze for a moment, then thought, I
don't care what she has down there. She raised herself up and he made
out her face in the light from the window. ‘You're not going to scream
for help are you?’ she said with a giggle.

He laughed, ‘Not yet anyway,’ pulling her down for another kiss. Their
tongues fought a delicious battle before Sandy moved down, kissing his
neck, then sucking and licking his nipples with her tongue. He moaned as
she nipped a nipple between her teeth. Her hand snaked down to take his
cock in her fingers as she kissed her way down his tummy. Her lips
gently brushed his skin, making his insides flip and his cock swell. He
felt her hair and then her cool breath swirl across the tip before she
kissed the head, making him jump at the touch of her lips.

‘Do you want me to stop?’ he heard her say, the teasing clear in her
voice.

‘Don't you dare stop,’ he said as his cock was enveloped by her warm
mouth and tongue. He arched his back as she took him inside, her tongue
swirling around the head and a sound came from somewhere in his throat
as she rolled his balls around in her fingers. She teased him
mercilessly, taking him to the edge with her mouth, then slowing down,
so that he was panting for release. She let him slip out of the mouth,
using her tongue to lick up and down the shaft, flicking the tip with
her tongue until he was desperate. She recognised he was close and
whispered, ‘Are you ready Ben? I mean really ready?’ She enjoyed teasing
him, feeling his cock grow in her fingers and the tension in his body as
she held him on the edge.

‘Yes, yes, I'm ready, please do it.’

She giggled, and with one last kiss on the tip she took him deep into
her mouth. It pushed him over the edge and his climax crashed through
him, tensing every last muscle as his cock twitched, sending cum
exploding out through his cock into her mouth. She swallowed as much as
she could, but some of it leaked through her lips splashing onto his
tummy. He felt her tongue lick up what had escaped before she moved up
to kiss him, and he tasted the saltiness of his cum on her lips. They
kissed for a few moments before he lay back with a sigh and she snuggled
close beside him, pulling his arm around her.

‘Sandy, that was beautiful. But why did you do it?’

She turned to look at him in the din light. ‘Because I wanted to, and I
thought you deserved a Christmas present.’

He laughed, ‘You're not fat enough to be Father Christmas.’

She giggled, ‘I told you Christmas wasn’t all bad.’

***

She had lain in bed hoping that sleep would come, but all she thought
about was Ben. She hadn't met anyone like him for a long time. Someone
who didn't despise her, who listened and didn't preach at her, who
seemed to accept her for who she was. She was sure he was attracted to
her. The little looks he gave her, the blushing all added up. But she
sensed he was also unsure about his attraction to her and was unlikely
to do anything about it. So, if anything was going to happen she would
have to start it. Did she want to? She liked him, that she was sure of,
but did she want more? She didn't know, but she thought she needed to
find out before she moved on. She slid out of bed and made her way to
his room. She listened to him snoring inside before opening the door and
tiptoeing to his bed. It's now or never, she thought, and offered up a
prayer that he wouldn't scream the house down.

She need not have worried. After the initial shock had gone, he had
begun to kiss her back, and she could feel his excitement. It had been a
long time since she had been with someone who didn't simply want to be
sucked off as quickly as possible, and she never, ever let them come in
her mouth. Ben was different, she couldn't tell you why, but he was
gentle and sweet. She surprised herself by taking his cum in her mouth,
and he didn't seem to mind the taste when she kissed him afterwards.
Some guys had made her use mouthwash before kissing her again. When they
had finished, he cuddled her for a while which felt so good. She felt
his breathing slow down and before long she too fell asleep cradled in
his arms.

She woke and stretched, feeling warm and comfortable under the duvet.
Then, the memories of last night crashed like a breaking wave into her
mind. She looked around to see she was alone in the bed. Oh Christ, she
thought, what have I done? He must hate me. Her cheeks blazed with
embarrassment. She heard the door open, and she dived under the duvet to
hide. She felt the bed tilt as he sat on the edge and she tensed,
waiting for the abuse to come.

‘I've brought you some tea, although you’ll have to come out of hiding
to drink it.’

He flicked down the end of the duvet but she pulled it back over her
head again. He laughed, ‘I'm going to make some breakfast, nod once if
you want some.’ She thought he can't be that angry if he wants to make
me breakfast, so she nodded her head beneath the duvet.

‘I’ve brought the bag of clothes through, in case you want to get
dressed before you come out for breakfast.’ She felt him get up from the
bed and the door close. She stuck her head out to see that he had gone
and gratefully drank some of the tea. She fell back onto the pillow. She
had woken up in some strange places, but right now none seemed as
strange as this. Nothing for it but to face the music. Rifling through
Carol’s bin bag of clothes she found a pretty top and pulled on her
jeans which were dry again. Her hair looked like a disaster zone, so she
piled it up into a topknot telling herself it would have to do.
Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door and walked into the
kitchen. The smell of cooking bacon made her stomach rumble. Ben was
piling food onto plates and he looked up and smiled, ‘Merry Christmas,
Sandy. Breakfast is ready.’

‘Merry Christmas, Ben. Thanks for this.’

She sat down and started to eat. She couldn't look at him, but she felt
his eyes on her. She felt she had to say something, ‘About last night…’
she tailed off, not knowing how to go on.

Ben waved his fork in the air, ‘If you want to know, last night was
great. But don't worry about it. We don't have to mention it again if
you don't want to.’

Damn it, she thought, what did that mean? He said it was great, but not
to worry about it.

‘Ben, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have jumped you like that. It wasn't fair.’

‘Do you regret it?’

‘No, I enjoyed it, but…’

‘But what?’

She covered her face with her hands and said, ‘I don't know, you make me
crazy.’

He laughed.

‘Don't laugh at me,’ she snapped.

‘I wasn't laughing at you, it's just that you make me crazy too.’

She stared at him, ‘What?’

‘Ever since you knocked on the door you've turned my life upside down. I
can't concentrate on my work because I keep thinking about you. I don't
know why but you make me feel things I haven't felt for a long time. I
don't let people get close to me, yet you barge in here and I'm in
pieces.’

Sandy’s mouth dropped open. ‘I'm sorry, but you invited me in, remember.
If I make you feel that bad, then I’ll go now.’ She stood up, her eyes
blazing.

‘Sandy, sit down, please. I didn't say it made me feel bad, did I?’

She remained standing as he went on. ‘I'm in pieces, but it makes me
feel good. You make me feel alive again. I’ve dedicated myself to my
work for such a long time, but you’ve managed to do something I didn't
think could happen.’

She sat down with a bump. ‘What's that?’

‘I haven't been close to anyone for a long time. You made me feel for
someone for the first time for a very long time. I tremble when I think
of you. I can't explain why, but you make me excited to be with you.
Something in you reached into me and shook me up like a rag doll. I'm
scared by what I feel for you, but I don't want it to stop. That's why
you drive me crazy.’

Sandy listened with growing amazement to what he said. Did he mean it?
She had been hurt so many times before, she didn't want it to happen
again. He knew what she was, and yet he still said those things. He had
looked as if he were about to cry as he spoke, yet could she really
believe him? Her heart did a quick flip as she reached out to touch his
hand. ‘Do you mean that, Ben? You know what I am.’

He looked straight back at her, ‘Every word, Sandy, every single word.
And I don’t care about what you are. It's who you are that's important.’
Sandy started to cry, tears rolling down her cheeks as Ben held her
hand, ‘I'm sorry, Sandy. But after last night I had to tell you.’

She wiped her eyes, ‘Don't play with me, Ben. I can't cope if you do.’

‘I promise I'm not playing with you. I mean it, but I'm as scared as
hell.’

Sandy moved to sit on Ben's lap, wrapping her arms around him. She
kissed him before resting her head on his shoulder. ‘Ben, it's been a
long time since I met someone like you. I've met a lot of shits, and
I've been hurt a lot. It's hard for me to trust anyone, so please be
patient with me.’

He stroked her back with his hand, ‘If you’ll be patient with me as
well.’

She giggled, ‘What a pair we make.’ She turned her head and kissed him,
tenderly at first, then with growing ferocity. Ben’s hands began to move
over her body, his fingers sliding under her top and finding her warm
skin. He pushed up the top revealing her small breasts with their hard
nipples. She sighed as he began to rub a nipple between his fingers and
her head went back as he twisted the little nub. He bent forward to lick
the nipple, and she almost jumped off his lap as his lips touched her
skin. She moved off his lap and straddled him on the chair, allowing him
full access to her breasts. She pulled his head towards her and he
responded by sucking and licking each tender nipple in turn.

Putting her finger beneath his chin she raised his face to hers and they
kissed hard, their tongues entwined. His hands were all over her, the
touch of his fingertips like small electric shocks on her skin. Sandy
could feel Ben’s cock hardening beneath her and she began to move around
on his lap making him gasp and grip her tighter. She felt as if every
nerve ending was on fire and she wanted him so badly. She slid off his
lap, turned away from him and tugged her jeans off. Ok, this is it, she
thought, as she turned around to face him.

***

Sandy slid off his lap and Ben watched as she turned away and pulled her
jeans down. She paused for a moment, and he looked up at her as she
turned around to face him. He thought she looked so shy and vulnerable
as she held a hand over her mouth. His eyes dropped to her groin, seeing
her cock for the second time. This time it was hard and pointing
straight at him. Although he knew Sandy had a cock, he hadn't been sure
how he would react when he saw it. He looked up at her to see her biting
her lip as she waited for his reaction. He looked back down and smiled
because he couldn't believe how beautiful it looked. It was smaller than
his own, with blue veins standing out along the shaft and the head
glistening in the light. He realised he had been holding his breath and
he let it out in one big sigh. Without thinking about it, he reached out
a hand and brushed the tip gently with his fingers. Sandy jumped as she
felt his touch, making her giggle nervously. That made Ben jump too, and
he laughed. He wrapped his fingers around it, feeling its softness and
its strength. He knew what his own felt like, but this was the first
time he had touched another cock since his days playing around in the
orphanage. For an instant, he thought he must be dreaming, but this was
all so real.

He moved his fingers up and down the shaft and above him Sandy moaned.
He liked the feel of it in his hand. It was warm and soft, yet hard at
the same time. From somewhere he felt an irresistible desire to kiss it,
so he bent his head forward and licked the tip with his tongue. He heard
Sandy hiss with pleasure, so he touched his lips against it and she
hissed again. He closed his eyes and tentatively pressed his lips
against the head. Sandy moved her hips forward, and the cock slipped
through his lips and into his mouth. He gagged a little but recovered
and held it inside. It felt just like he was sucking a thumb, he
thought. He tried to remember what Sandy had done to him and he used his
tongue to slide around the head, earning another hiss from Sandy. He
felt her hands on the back of his head and she began to move her hips,
sliding the cock in and out. It slipped out once and he felt lost until
she slid it back into his mouth.

It felt like a dream to Ben as he sucked on Sandy’s cock, relishing the
feeling of it within his mouth. He felt it twitch as she said, ‘I'm
cumming,’ He panicked, not knowing what to do next and it slipped out
just as her cum surged from the tip. He watched in fascination as it
spurted in pulses out of her cock. Some of it splashed onto his lips and
he couldn't stop himself licking it with his tongue. The taste wasn't
unpleasant, something like a salty oyster, he thought.

***

As her cock slipped out of his mouth, her knees buckled as she came
hard. She hadn’t expected Ben to take her into his mouth, but she wasn't
about to complain. He was nervous and inexperienced but the touch of his
tongue on her cock was like being plugged into the mains. She looked
down to see he had his eyes closed, and she could feel his tongue
swirling around the tip of her cock. Her hands instinctively went to the
back of his head, holding him in place as she began to move her hips to
and fro. She loved having her cock sucked, and she was soon close to the
edge. She was surprised as Ben licked some stray drops of cum from his
lips, and using her finger to pick up some cum she slid it through his
lips, watching as he licked the finger clean.

‘Thank you, Ben, that was beautiful.’

He grinned up at her. ‘Well, I had to give you a Christmas present too.’

She bent down and kissed him, the taste of her cum still lingering on
his lips. She pulled up her jeans and sat on his lap again.

‘Sandy,’ Ben stroked her face with his fingers, ‘What made you come to
my room last night?’

Sandy looked away, then looked back at him. ‘I don't understand it
totally, I think. I fancied you, I was horny, I thought you liked me, I
wanted to say thank you. All of those things.’

‘But how could you be sure I wouldn't go crazy, or throw you out?’

She blushed, ‘I didn't, but promise not to be mad.’

He looked puzzled and Sandy took a breath, ‘I read what you had on your
laptop yesterday when you went to fetch the hairdryer. It was a story
you were writing. I’m sorry I shouldn't have read it, but…’ She thought
he was going to be angry, but instead he laughed. ‘It's OK, Sandy,
although nobody else knows I write stories like that, so I may have to
kill you to protect my secret vice.’ He tickled her and she nearly fell
off his lap.

‘It's a way of getting away from my work, and it's also been my release
I guess. I had begun that one because of you. I was trying to sort out
my feelings about you. I was confused by how much I was attracted to
you, and I thought writing it out would help me understand it more.’

She giggled, ‘Well, from what I read you were beginning to work it out.’

He blushed, and she thought he looked so much like a little boy at that
moment. ‘Well, I do have a vivid imagination.’

‘Did it work?’ she asked. ‘Did it help you understand?’

‘A bit, but last night and this morning helped a lot more.’ he kissed
her again, and her tummy did a flip flop. Where was this going? She
needed to be careful, she was going to have go back to real life soon
and this dreaming would have to stop. He would go back to his work and
she would have to hit the streets again. She stood up and turned away
from him, so that he wouldn't see the wetness in her eyes.

‘What's up?’ He came up behind her and put his arms around her. She
shook her head, ‘It's nothing, honestly.’ He turned her round, and she
buried her head in his shoulder. She didn't want him to see her crying.

‘Sandy, look at me. I have something to ask you.’ he put his finger
under her chin and made her look at him. ‘I want to ask if you want to
stay here for a while. Until your trust fund comes through. I couldn't
bear the thought of you out on the streets again. You can stay in the
spare room. No conditions or anything. I just want to know you're safe.’

She searched his eyes to see if he was joking. He looked serious, and
she imagined what it would be like. She shook her head, ‘I can't do
that.’

‘Why not?’

‘It's not fair on you. I haven't got any money, and what happens when
your friends get back?’

‘Money’s not a problem. This is all paid for until they come back, and
two can live as cheaply as one. We have time to work out what happens
when Sean and Carol get back.’

‘I don't know. I don't want charity.’

‘I'm not offering charity. You can go looking for a job if you want. You
won't be homeless, so it should be easier.’ She knew that was true, at
least. The temptation was too great, and she kissed him, ‘OK, Ben, but
remember you should careful what you wish for. I can be a nightmare.’

He hugged her, ‘You’ve only seen me at my best so far.’ She had said
yes, but there were still big doubts in her mind. Maybe, he would get
fed up with her pretty quickly. Maybe, she would get fed up with him and
this place too. She thought she would give it a few days to see what
happened.

***

It was only when she said yes that he realised what he had done. Was he
crazy? Offering to share with her was something that just popped into
his head. He wasn't normally spontaneous, but Sandy had this effect on
him, and he was being just a little crazy. Let's give it a few days, he
thought. Everything might change then.

For the rest of the morning they drank tea and shared their stories. Ben
told her about life at the orphanage and she told him more about life on
the streets. Both of them cried at different points as they relived the
bad times they had experienced, bringing them closer together.
Eventually, Ben looked at the clock and said, ‘It's Christmas Day, we
need to make some food.’

‘You don't believe in Christmas.’

‘No, but I believe in eating, and Christmas this year hasn't been too
bad so far.’

They made the dinner together, then spent the evening watching old films
and drinking more wine than either of them usually would. Ben found
himself being drawn more and more to Sandy. He had never felt like this
about anyone before, and he wondered if this was what falling in love
felt like.

Sandy had fallen asleep on the sofa in the middle of one of the films.
Ben covered her with a blanket and sat looking at her sleep. She looked
so peaceful lying there that he hated to disturb her, but she would
sleep better in her bed. He picked her up and started to carry her
through to the spare bedroom. She woke up and looked around, ‘Where are
you taking me?’

‘To your bedroom, you need to get some sleep.’

‘Oh no, no. I want to sleep with you, tonight. I don't want to be on my
own, please.’ She locked her arms around his neck and wasn't going to
let go. He hesitated, this was yet another step towards something he
didn't understand.

‘Please, Ben, I don't want to be on my own.’

He had little choice he thought and carried her through to his bedroom.
He laid her on the bed and she grinned up at him. ‘Thanks, Ben.’

He went to use the bathroom and when he came back, she was in the bed
and snoring lightly. He smiled to himself and slipped in beside her. He
tried to remember the last time he had gone to sleep with someone in the
same bed and it was a long time ago. He lay there, unable to fall
asleep, while Sandy snored beside him. It must have been a little later
when he realised that Sandy had stopped snoring and he sensed she was
awake.

‘Can't you sleep?’ she whispered.

‘No, too much going on in my mind.’ he whispered back, ‘Go back to
sleep.’

‘I have a cure for insomnia,’ she giggled.

‘What's that?’

She rolled over and kissed him, her tongue sliding between his lips. Her
hands found his cock, and she began to stroke it as she kissed him. He
began to respond and rolled on top of her, feeling his cock rubbing
against hers.

‘Mmm, that's nice,’ she said, and she opened her legs, allowing his cock
to slide between her thighs. His cock was very hard by now and she
pulled his head to hers and gently nipped his earlobe between her teeth.

‘Ben, will you fuck me please? I want you in me so much.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, I'm sure, Ben. Fuck me please.’

He knew this was yet another step into the unknown, but he didn't
hesitate. ‘OK, but you’ll have to show me what to do.’

She giggled, ‘Don't worry, you’ll work most of it out yourself. Have you
got any lube?’

‘What?’ he said, ‘Nooooo.’

She laughed, ‘Don't worry, we’ll just have to improvise.’ She jumped out
of bed and ran out of the room. What was she doing, he wondered, there
wasn't any lube out there. He lay there, feeling a little foolish, and
he stroked his cock to keep it hard. She was back a few minutes later
carrying a towel and a bottle.

‘There's always a way,’ she said. She spread the towel on the bed. ‘Now
slide over here.’ She unscrewed the bottle and smeared something on her
hands. ‘Olive oil,’ she giggled, it's extra virgin which seemed
appropriate. It could get a bit messy so that's why I brought the
towel.’ He couldn't believe his ears. She was going to use olive oil as
a lubricant. He started to laugh. ‘What's so funny?’ she asked.

‘I don't know how I'm ever going to cook with it again and keep a
straight face.’

She shut him up by kissing him and he felt her hands slide across his
cock. The oil was slippery and as she covered his cock with it, he burst
out laughing again. She squeezed his balls, and that shut him up. He
watched as she went down on all fours on the towel and used some of the
oil on her hole.

‘Slide up behind me and use a finger first to open me up.’ He moved as
he was told and positioned himself behind her. His cock bumped against
her bum as he pushed a finger gently into her hole. He couldn't believe
this was happening to him, but he was so aroused that he was going to go
through with it.

‘Push harder.’ she ordered, and he slipped the finger in deeper feeling
her close up around it.

‘Now use two,’ this time there was more resistance, and he didn't want
to hurt her, but she jerked backwards and his fingers slid in, making
her hiss as she felt them enter.

‘Now take your cock and fuck me. I need you in me now.’

He shuffled forwards and his cock tapped against her hole. He thought it
would never go in there, it looked so small to him. He pushed gently,
and the head slipped in a little, but then he felt real resistance.
‘Don't worry, push harder.’

He tried again and as he got a little further in, she pushed back hard
and he felt his cock slide all the way in. He gasped out loud as he felt
her tighten around his cock.

‘Now slide in and out, slowly at first then as hard as you can, it won't
hurt.’

He began to slide his cock backwards, then forwards, and he felt her
push back as he slid in. he couldn't believe how good this felt, any
reservations he had about what he was doing evaporated as he began to
move faster. Sandy was grunting now as he pushed deeper and deeper into
her. It was like his cock was being held by a slippery velvet glove, and
he could feel his excitement grow as he slipped in and out. Sandy was
grunting loudly now and pushing back harder and harder into him. His
climax almost caught him by surprise, and he fell forward onto her back
as his cum pumped into her. His cock seemed to twitch three or four
times before he was finished and pulled out of Sandy. He fell to the
bed, rolled onto his side as he watched her stroking her cock and with a
grunt, she came too, her cum spraying over his legs.

‘Fuck, that was good, Ben. How about you?’

He couldn't think straight for a moment as he tried to control his
breathing.

‘Oh my God, oh my God.’ was all he could manage.

‘I’ll take that as a good sign.’

She hugged him and pulled him up. ‘Come on. We have to clean ourselves
up, this stuff gets everywhere.’ She dragged him to the bathroom and
washed him under the shower until all the oil was gone. He was still
shaking as she led him back to the bed, taking the towel off the bed and
pushing him down onto it.

‘Not bad for your first time,’ she giggled.

They kissed, and this time it wasn't long before Ben slipped into sleep.

Epilogue

He woke to find the light already shining in through the window. It must
be late he thought. He smiled as he remembered what he and Sandy had
done last night. He turned over expecting to find her beside him, but
the bed was empty. She must be up already he thought. He couldn't hear
anything from the kitchen. Maybe she's in the bathroom. He yawned,
stretched, then put on his trousers and a shirt and walked into the
kitchen expecting to see Sandy making a cup of tea. The room was empty
and a sickening feeling grew in Ben as he looked around the empty
kitchen. ‘Sandy,’ he called out but somehow he already knew she wouldn't
be there. He dragged his eyes towards the corner of the room where she
had left her box but it wasn't there. He slumped on the chair, his head
fell forward and he wiped away tears from his eyes. She hadn't even left
him a note this time. He got up and looked out the front door to see a
thaw had set in overnight and most of the deep snow had gone, but there
was still enough left to show the unmistakable trace of footsteps
leaving the house.

What a fool he had been. How could he have thought she would stay with
him? She’d had a couple of days’ rest and food, before deciding to get
out as soon as she could. She had used him and thrown him a little sex
to sweeten him up even more. He cursed himself for letting her get so
close to him. He knew Christmas was the worst time of the year, so why
had he thought this one would be any different? He resolved never to let
anyone get so close to him again. All it brought was pain and
heartbreak.

He sat down at the table, unable even to make a cup of tea. He sighed,
no point in feeling sorry for himself. He would have to move on. Get
back to his work and forget that this fucking Christmas had ever
happened. He tidied up and opened his laptop to find the story he had
started to write which Sandy had read. He deleted it, then opened up his
research paper and began to focus on his work again.

He didn't hear the first knock on the door, but the second one broke
into his train of thought. ‘Shit,’ he said to himself. He opened the
front door to come face to face with a teenage boy with a box. The boy
started to say something, and Ben was about to tell him where to stick
the box, when he heard a voice from somewhere behind the boy. ‘It's no
good, Jimmy, he won't buy anything. He didn't buy anything when I
tried.’

The boy turned around and they both said. ‘Sandy!’ Sandy looked at Ben
and said, ‘I had to take my box back, got my money back.’ She saw the
look on his face. ‘Oh my God, you thought I wasn't coming back.’

Ben grinned, ‘Never crossed my mind.’

The End

I hope you enjoyed the story. Please let me know what you think at
[email protected]

Breaking Up And Making Up

By Nikkie Silk

“Well, Nobody’s Perfect!”
Joe E. Brown ‘Some Like It Hot’

Chapter One

Danny stood at the bar and looked around the pub. It wasn't his usual,
but this one had looked bright and warm from the outside on a grey,
rainy day. The after work rush wouldn't start for a couple of hours or
so yet, so there were only a few old boys who looked like regulars,
nursing their pints and looking miserable, cursing the smoking ban. A
couple at a table in the corner seemed to be in the middle of an
argument. The girl looked upset, and the man seemed to be trying to
apologise to her for something.

He had enough problems of his own to keep him busy for months, so he
didn't have any time to spare for other people's troubles. Danny ordered
a pint, and as he waited for the barman to pour it, he looked round just
at the moment the girl in the corner slammed her hand down on the table,
angrily got up, grabbed her coat and ran out of the pub. The man with
her had his head down and appeared to be crying. Poor sod, he thought,
it looks like he's been dumped. Danny knew how that felt.

Turning back as the barman put his pint on the bar, Danny paid and took
a long pull of the beer. It was a decent pint, malty and dark, which
matched Danny’s mood right now. He had just come from a meeting with his
Director, who had told him that the company was going to have to let him
go. Let me go? Danny snorted, that was the kind of language a gutless
little weasel like him would use. As if it had been my choice to leave,
not theirs. The company had been taken over by an American media company
and everyone knew that there would be layoffs. Danny had hoped he
wouldn't be one of them. A redundancy package which would keep him going
for a while, and he thought it wouldn't be too difficult to get himself
a new job. Danny thought could use his network of contacts to get
himself something quickly.

In the middle of this internal monologue, he sensed the guy from the
table standing next to him at the bar, trying to pay his tab. Danny
turned to look at him out of curiosity. They were about the same age,
but the man was taller and more well-built than Danny. It reminded Danny
that his enforced free time would allow him to get to the pool more
often, he could do with losing a pound or two himself. The guy was
trying to attract the barman’s attention, who was busy serving another
customer. He had been weeping, as his eyes were red rimmed, and Danny
suddenly felt sorry for him.

‘Bad day, huh?’ Said Danny.

He turned to Danny and said, ‘What? What did you say?’

‘I said, it looks as if you've had a bad day.’

He looked at Danny with an angry look on his face.

‘Really, you think so?’ The sarcasm aimed to sting, but Danny let it go.
‘Me too,’ said Danny, ‘I've had a bloody awful one too.’

‘Look mate,’ said the guy, ‘what do you know about me that lets you say
something like that? You know nothing about me.’

Danny shrugged and was going to turn away, when the man said, ‘I'm
sorry, that wasn't called for. I'm just upset right now.’

‘That's OK,’ said Danny, stuck his hand out and said, ‘Danny, Danny
Albright. Alright Albright, they call me.’

The guy looked down at Danny's outstretched hand, considering whether to
shake it or ignore Danny. He decided and shook the outstretched hand,
saying, ‘Carl, Carl Jones.’

‘OK, Carl, I hate drinking alone, especially today, how about I buy you
a pint?’

‘No, honestly, thanks but no,’ said Carl. He tried to get the barman's
attention, but he was now changing one of the barrels in the cellar.

‘Come on, Carl, it won't hurt, I have had a shitty day too. Have a drink
with me.’

Carl looked at him, as if hearing Danny for the first time, ‘What's
happened to you?’

‘Only been fired this morning,’ Danny looked at his watch, ‘been
unemployed precisely two hours now. I've been walking around since
trying to get my head straight.’

‘Yea, that's shitty alright,’ Carl said, then realising what he had
said, ‘Oh, sorry, that wasn't deliberate, shitty alright, I mean, that's
your name, right?’

Danny laughed, ‘Well, the way my luck’s been running recently, that's
not too far off the mark.’

‘Maybe I should buy you a drink then.’ said Carl, still flustered at
what he had said.

‘Nah, I asked you first, what’ll you have?’

Carl asked for a pint of lager and Danny finally got the barman's
attention and ordered the lager.

‘You had some bad luck recently, then?’ Carl said, thinking he would
probably regret asking.

‘You mean other than being fired, my wife leaving me, crashing the car,
losing my winning lottery ticket and the goldfish dying?’

Carl looked at him to see if he was joking.

Danny laughed at the expression on Carl’s face. ‘Well the last two
haven't happened yet, but the first three certainly have, all in the
past nine months.’

Carl smiled for the first time since they began talking, ‘Thank God the
goldfish is still alive then.’

Danny said, ‘Yeah, it would be if I had one.’ Which made them both
laugh.

‘I'm sorry Danny, for what I said earlier I mean, about what do you know
about me and all that. It was pretty nasty of me. I was well out of
order, you've had a rough time.’

‘Yea, it's been a bit rocky, I admit, but you looked pretty cut up over
there.’

Carl debated about what and how much to say, before looking down at his
drink and saying, ‘She was my girlfriend, or more exactly my
ex-girlfriend. We had been together a couple of years and she decided
she wanted something different. I was trying to patch things up, and as
you can see it didn't go well.’

‘It always hurts when it happens, Carl, I know it's trite but time does
make a difference. It's been 9 months since my break up.’

‘Does it feel any better?’

Danny thought for a minute, ‘It still feels bad, but not as often, if
that makes sense.’

They had finished their drinks, and Carl bought the same again, as he
felt he owed Danny one. As he waited to be served, Carl wondered why
Danny had spoken to him. He stole a glance at Danny as he chatted to an
old timer who was also waiting to be served. He thought Danny looked a
bit scruffy, with his faded jeans, t-shirt, blond hair in a ponytail,
but he seemed friendly enough and Carl felt it might be good to take his
mind off Simone for a while. Carl guessed Danny also needed somebody to
talk to after what had happened to him. The drinks arrived and Carl
suggested they move to a table instead of standing at the bar.

Over the second pint, they found they had a lot in common; a love of
Arsenal football club, Indian food, old movies and Elmore Leonard
novels. They agreed about the best Arsenal team - the unbeaten
invincibles - but argued about politics. Danny was Labour and Carl
Conservative, but with a small c. They both loved ‘Some Like It Hot’ and
‘North by Northwest’, but Carl loved Grace Kelly, and Danny thought Eva
Marie Saint sexier.

The second pint turned into a third, and when they finished their
fourth, Carl said he hadn't eaten all day and suggested going for
something to eat. Danny knew a great Indian place round the corner, and
so they headed off there, both of them a little drunk by this time. They
ordered their food, and a silence descended. Carl broke it first, ‘It
annoyed when you spoke to me in the pub, Danny. I'm glad you did, I
needed this, I would have gone home and stewed about things.’

‘Me too, Carl, it's been good for me too, thanks,’ They clinked their
glasses in the way that men do and said, ’Cheers.’

Danny said, ‘Oh Lordy, I almost forgot, are you doing anything tomorrow
afternoon?’

‘No, why?’

Danny hunted around in his pockets and produced a ticket. ‘The company
has a box at the Emirates and they have given me two tickets for the
game tomorrow against Chelsea as a sweetener. They’re like gold dust, do
you want to come along? Free food and booze and everything.’

Carl felt a bit woozy by this time, but he thought why not? He could
never get a ticket for that game and it would keep his mind off other
things.

‘Yes, I would love to, if you're sure.’

‘No problems, I didn't have a clue who to invite for the other ticket,
so as a fellow gooner, you're more than welcome.’

They swapped phone numbers and after arranging to meet at Arsenal tube
station the following day, they made their way to their homes, each
carrying a burden that had been only partly lifted by their evening
together. Both slept badly, waking in the small hours as the reality of
what had happened the previous day sank in.

Carl reached across to where his girlfriend would have slept, and his
heart dropped when he realised she was not there.

Danny lay on his back with his hands behind his head as he worried about
finding a new job, deciding he would have to start calling people on
Monday.

They met as planned before the game and dropped into a pub for a drink
before heading to the stadium. When two London teams play each other, it
always becomes a tribal affair; north London against south, Arsenal red
against Chelsea blue, grit against swagger, yet another full blooded
encounter in a long running and bitter rivalry. It ended up close, as
they often are, with Arsenal edging the result in the last minute. Danny
and Carl were ecstatic, high-fiving and hugging each other at the final
whistle, each of them relishing the opportunity to forget their problems
for a while, and finding solace in the shared joy of being a fan.

‘Danny, that was brilliant, thanks for the invitation, I would have had
to watch it on TV. Let me pay you back somehow. How about dinner
tonight? My treat.’

Danny looked at Carl, still giddy with excitement and smiled, ‘Sure, why
not? where do you fancy?’

‘Why not Brick Lane? It's Bangladeshi, great cooking.’ Carl’s enthusiasm
was evident and Danny willingly agreed as it had been some time since he
had been there. They managed to squeeze onto a crowded train which gave
Danny a chance to think about Carl. Danny didn't have many male friends
as his girlfriend had pulled him away from the few he had before their
marriage. It seemed to him that she had seen him as a project, a man to
be shaped and remodelled.

Danny couldn't believe his luck when Jessica came on to him. Jess was
pretty, vivacious and dominant. She called the shots most of the time,
and Danny followed her lead. She decided when they did things, where
they went, even to when and how they had sex. She liked to play games in
the bedroom, usually with him being the submissive partner. Once or
twice she had him wear her panties during sex, which he had secretly
enjoyed, but had drawn the line when she wanted to use a dildo on him.
He had gone along with most of it; Jess was beautiful, the sex was
great, and he loved her. Unknown to him, however, she had other
admirers, and one of those eventually took her away from him.

He had struggled after the break up; compared to Jess, other girls
seemed dull and uninteresting, and after a few disastrous dates, he gave
up. Online porn became his release, and he spent many evenings in front
of his computer, lost in the fantasy world on screen. He had never
realised there were so many varieties of sexual fantasy available at the
click of a mouse. He loved the story sites as much as the video ones and
spent many hours reading the stories he found there.

Danny had tried to pick up with his old friends, but it seems that they
had moved on, some had families now and didn't want to reconnect. Danny
hadn’t set out to make friends with Carl, he had only spoken to him in
the pub because he felt sorry for him, but they seemed to click. Carl
was easy to talk to, liked many of the same things that Danny did and
seemed happy to have found a friend. It had been good to see Carl so
happy at the football. He thought It had been a good idea to invite him.

Carl gave up his seat on the train to a woman wearing a ‘Baby On Board’
badge, and that made him feel good. He felt manners counted; it didn't
take much effort to be kind. He took the opportunity to study Danny as
he sat on the train, seemingly lost in his thoughts. Danny didn't look
as scruffy as Carl had at first thought. His ponytail was well cared
for, unlike the greasy, unkempt ones you often see. He stood a few
inches shorter than Carl, slim, and striking blue eyes which flashed
when he smiled. He thought it had been generous of Danny to reach out
to him in the pub, and Carl flushed at the thought of how he had
initially reacted to Danny’s gesture. Everything had gone better after
that and it had been good to be with someone after Simone had left him
in the pub. He felt a sting as he thought of her and blinked away a
tear. Danny had been funny, despite his own problems, and Carl had been
touched when he offered him the ticket. That had been a true act of
kindness, thought Carl. He hoped that he and Danny would stay friends,
he thought he would enjoy Danny’s company.

They tumbled out of the train at Shoreditch and made their way to Brick
Lane where Carl had a favourite restaurant among the many that lined the
Lane. Home to waves of immigrants for hundreds of years, the latest
incomers had been from Bangladesh, and their cooking had created what
had become Bangla Town. It's a bright, vibrant and crowded place, but
they found a table in Carl’s favourite restaurant and quickly ordered
some beers and food.

As well as talking about the match and how well Arsenal would do this
year, they discovered more about each other as the meal went on; Carl
cycled, Danny swam to keep fit, Carl liked dogs, Danny cats, and both
hated golf. Danny talked about his job as a graphic designer and Carl
confessed to being a management consultant. Without being fully aware of
it, each one felt drawn to the other, both needing a friend who could
help each other through a bad time.

As the remnants of the meal were cleared away, Danny offered to pay his
share, but Carl insisted on paying the whole bill in return for the
football. They had a final beer together in the Pride of Spitalfields
before setting off home, when to their surprise, they discovered that
they lived only a mile apart from each other in Putney and agreed to
share a taxi home. As the cab stopped to let Carl out, Danny promised to
give him a call during the week for a drink.

As promised, Danny rang Carl, and they met for a drink in a local pub.
Then one of them, they couldn't remember who, suggested they go together
to watch a movie they both wanted to see. Quickly, they became close
friends, meeting regularly for drinks or dinner or a film. They had come
to value each other's company and began to share more and more about
themselves. Two strangers, brought together by chance, had discovered a
friendship neither had intended, but which both now began to cherish.

Chapter Two

One evening, Carl called Danny to invite him over to his flat for dinner
the following Saturday. For some reason, Danny hesitated, going to
someone else’s place seemed a big step, and would take their friendship
to a new level. He shrugged and said, ‘Thanks, I would love to. Will
there be anyone else?’

Carl said, ‘I’ve invited my upstairs neighbours as well. I have to tell
you, though, they’re gay. Well, lesbian to be exact, but they’re lovely
girls.’

Danny laughed, ‘So you want me as cover? Do you want me to be your
latest boyfriend?’

Carl snorted, ‘You’re not my type, honey.’

‘OK, what time? I’ll bring a bottle, right?’

‘Is 7 OK? You don't have to bring a bottle, but I’m guessing you will,
anyway. It's my homemade chilli, so a bottle of red?’

Danny arrived at the address Carl had given him a little after 7. He had
walked from his flat and had bought a bottle of good red wine on the
way. He whistled as he saw the building, a detached Edwardian villa that
had been converted into apartments which looked expensive. Danny knew
Carl had the garden flat, so he rang the bottom bell and heard it
ringing somewhere inside. The door opened and a strikingly beautiful
woman stood there.

Danny said, ‘Oh, I'm sorry, have I rung the wrong bell?’

‘Not If your name is Danny, Hi, I’m Julia from upstairs, Carl asked me
to let you in.’

‘Hi, Julia, nice to meet you.’ They shook hands and Julia led him
through into the apartment. Danny didn't know whether to look at Julia’s
backside wiggling away in front of him or the apartment, both looked
equally stunning. Julia looked back as he sneaked a peek at her bum, she
grinned and said, ‘Come on through to the kitchen and meet my far better
half.’

Danny thought Julia beautiful; long straight blonde hair, short tight
black skirt barely hiding legs that went up for ever and a smile to die
for. Danny felt his cock stirring and thought, ‘Stop it, she's off
limits.’ They entered a huge room that must have run across the whole
width of the house. At least two rooms had been knocked into one large,
open-plan kitchen and dining area, with sliding doors that opened out
into the garden. The doors were closed as it was still too cold to go
outside, but Danny could see a well-tended garden and patio area
outside. Carl stood by the range cooker stirring what Danny assumed from
the smell to be the chilli.

‘Hi Danny, you’ve met Julia, I see.’ Julia waggled her fingers at him
over a large glass of white wine. ‘Let me introduce Siobhan, Julia’s
partner. No, sorry, I mean wife.’

A tall red haired woman stepped forward and offered her hand to Danny,
‘That's right, Julia made an honest woman out of me a few weeks ago.
Pleased to meet you Danny.’

Danny shook her hand and said, ‘Well, congratulations to both of you.
That's wonderful.’

If Danny had thought Julia beautiful, then Siobhan almost took his
breath away. A little taller than him, she had green eyes, and hair for
which a pre-Raphaelite painter would have sold his soul to get onto
canvas. She had the hint of an Irish lilt to her voice, which probably
explained the red hair.

Carl put a glass of red wine into his hand and said, ‘Here’s to Julia
and Siobhan, two of the sweetest and best neighbours that anyone could
wish to have. Congratulations on your marriage.’

They all raised their glasses and drank to the toast.

‘Is this a celebration dinner then?’ Danny asked.

‘Sort of,’ said Carl, ‘I missed the wedding. Simone and I were in the
middle of breaking up and it had been a bad day.’

‘Sorry about that,’ said Julia.

‘Not your fault, Jools.’ said Carl.

‘Well, at least she won't cramp your style anymore.’ said Siobhan.
Danny caught Julia shooting Siobhan a look and wondered what that meant.
Danny also noticed Carl had reddened a little and guessed that Carl had
been playing away from home and had got caught. He and Carl had never
talked about why he and Simone had broken up, Danny didn't want to open
fresh wounds with his new friend. If Carl wanted to talk about it, he
would sometime.

‘So, Danny, what brought you into Carl’s life?’ said Siobhan. She fixed
him with her eyes and he felt slightly intimidated by this beautiful
woman.

‘We bumped into each other in a pub, we got talking and it kind of took
off from there.’ said Danny.

Carl yelled over from the cooker, ‘It was the day Simone finally broke
up with me. Danny may well have saved my life that day.’

‘Hardly, I was grateful to talk to someone as well, remember?’

‘Oh, why?’ Julia had moved to stand the other side of Danny. Danny
realised he was being book ended by two of the most glamourous women he
had ever met. Julia was a classic Nordic blonde, tall and slender, easy
to laugh and with a naughty look in her eyes. Siobhan was smaller than
Julia, but with her shock of red hair and green eyes, she had an air of
mysticism that made Danny think of misty autumn mornings in the
countryside.

‘I had been fired at lunchtime. Sorry, not fired, Let go was what they
called it.’

‘Arseholes,’ Julia said.

‘Jools, you have such a potty mouth.’ said Siobhan.

Julia grinned broadly, ‘That's not what you say in bed.’

‘Careful, or you’ll embarrass Carl's new friend.’ Siobhan mock scolded
Julia.

‘Oh, I don't think he’ll be embarrassed by that. By this, maybe.’ Julia
moved around Danny and put her arms around Siobhan and pulled her into a
kiss.

‘Oi, you two, stop teasing Danny,’ yelled Carl from the cooker. The two
women giggled and Siobhan said, ‘Sorry, Danny, no offence meant.’

‘None taken,’ laughed Danny. Glad they had stopped if only because he
had started to feel his cock swelling as he watched them kissing.
Carl came across and refilled glasses.

‘Right, food’s ready. I’ll dump the bowls of chilli and rice on the
table, and there's some garlic bread as well so you can help
yourselves.’

They sat down at the table, Danny next to Julia and across from Siobhan.
For a moment Danny imagined he was being presented to the two girls as
if for approval. He shook it off as his imagination and offered Siobhan
first go at the chilli. Their plates were soon full of food and Danny
said, ‘God, this is fantastic, Carl. There's a real kick to it.’

Carl smiled, ‘Thanks, I like making it, makes me feel warm and safe in a
funny way.’

‘So, Danny,’ Siobhan fixed him with those eyes again, he again felt her
sizing him up, ‘have you found a new job yet?’

‘Nope, not yet, it's harder than I thought for out there, cutbacks all
round in my business.’

‘What do you do, Danny?’ Julia joined in.

‘I'm a graphic designer, mainly books and media stuff.’

‘Isn't that all freelance?’ Siobhan asked.

‘A lot is, but that takes time to build up. I spent my time in agencies,
didn't think I would need to go freelance.’

‘But you are now?’ Julia spoke this time.

‘Yes, I've had to. I've picked up some work, but it will take longer
than I thought to get it going.’

Carl said, ‘OK ladies, you can stop the interrogation, Danny's here to
enjoy himself.’

Carl had wondered if it would be alright to invite Danny to dinner with
Siobhan and Julia. They could be mischievous if the mood took them and
it seemed that was happening tonight. Carl didn't think Danny would have
any problem with the girls being gay; nothing Danny had said led Carl to
believe he would. Danny seemed to be laid back about everything. Carl
felt he should celebrate the girls’ marriage, as he had missed the
wedding day, and with Simone no longer around, he wanted someone to be
there with him. Danny seemed to be a good choice, and so far, he
appeared to be OK with it.

Danny still felt Siobhan's eyes on him again and tried to change tack,
‘Carl, this is a fabulous apartment.’

Carl looked pleased at the compliment, ‘Thanks, I inherited some money
from an aunt. It gave me the opportunity to buy this place and to
renovate it. I had an architect friend draw up the plans, including the
extension for the kitchen and dining area.’

Siobhan looked at Danny and said, ‘You know, Danny, for a guy, you have
a lovely bone structure, and your eyes are so pretty.’

‘Thank you Siobhan, but nobody has ever told me that before, I can
assure you.’

‘Do you keep your hair that long all the time?’

‘Yes, I've always preferred longer hair, I keep it in the ponytail most
of the time to keep it out of the way.’

‘Mmm, let me see what it looks like if you let it out of the ponytail.’

‘Siobhan, stop teasing Danny.’ said Carl.

‘Pretty please, Danny?’ said Siobhan.

Danny laughed, ‘No it's OK, Carl, really.’

He reached back and took out the scrunchie holding the ponytail and bent
his head forwards so his hair fell down around his face.

He looked at Siobhan, smiled and said, ‘Happy?’

‘You have lovely hair. Let me try something?’

Without waiting for an answer, she stood up and moved behind him. Danny
felt her gather his hair together and remake the ponytail, this time
with it riding higher on the back of his head, level with his eye line.
‘There, that's looks better.’ she said, moving back to look at him.
‘That's how girls wear their ponytail,’ said Julia.

Danny felt himself go pink, and he quickly released his hair so that it
fell back over his shoulders. Siobhan tilted her head to one side and
said, ‘You know, with the right makeover you could look stunning.’
‘Siobhan, why are teasing Danny?’ said Carl, ‘let's go to the other room
and have a drink.’

She looked a little put out, ‘What? Why isn't it nice to say someone
could look pretty?’

‘You don't describe guys as pretty.’

‘OK, he could look cute, is that better?’ Siobhan fluttered her
eyelashes at Carl who blushed a little.

Pretty? thought Danny. What the hell was she on about? He didn't quite
know what to make of Siobhan and Julia. They were both extremely
beautiful and by their words and actions, uninhibited. He didn't have
any problem with gay people, he had worked with plenty in the design
business, and he liked their company. They obviously knew Carl well, and
he seemed comfortable with them. Danny realised he had been invited to
make up a four, but he didn't mind that. It was good to see where Carl
lived and to meet some new people, especially two as exotic as Siobhan
and Julia. The apartment was much more luxurious than his rented flat,
and that reminded him that if he didn't find some more work soon, he
might have to move to somewhere cheaper.

They had all moved into a luxuriously decorated living space, Danny
thought calling it a room wouldn't do it justice. It had enough room for
two large sofas, each facing the other in front of an open fireplace,
with a low table in between. Julia and Siobhan sat on one of the sofas
as Carl motioned Danny to sit on the other one.

‘OK, what does everyone want to drink?’

‘Brandy, please Carly,’ chorused both girls and Carl smiled weakly at
the name. He turned towards Danny, ‘They thought it was funny to call me
Carly, as in Carly Simon, Carly and Simone? Only it's not so funny now
is it girls, without Simone I mean.’

‘Sorry, Carly, old habits are hard to break.’ said Julia and giggled.
Danny thought she was a little drunk already.

‘I'll have a brandy too, please Carl.’ he said.

‘OK, brandies all round, that's easy.’ He went to fetch the drinks and
Danny took the opportunity to ask Julia and Siobhan what they did for a
living.

Siobhan laughed, ‘See, Julia, not everybody knows who you are.’

Julia pouted, held her hair up behind her head and turned her head
sideways and gave Danny a sultry look.

Carl returned with the brandies and said, ‘Danny, Julia's a model. She
gets cranky if you don't recognise her.’

‘I do not,’ pouted Julia.

‘You so do,’ said Siobhan.

Julia picked up a cushion and hit Siobhan with it. ‘You're supposed to
be on my side, wifey.’

Carl took a sip of his brandy and nodded his head at the two girls,
‘Julia's a fashion model and Siobhan is a makeup artist. That's how they
met, on some photo shoot.’

Siobhan lay back on the sofa, ‘So, Danny, which way do you roll?’

Danny must have looked confused, because Julia jumped in, ‘She means are
you straight or gay or bi or something else?’

Carl started to object, but Danny held his hand up, ‘Don't worry Carl, I
don't mind. I'm straight, I like girls.’

Julia giggled, ‘I like girls too, but it doesn't make me straight.’
Danny laughed, ‘OK, let me change my answer, so far in my life I have
always dated girls and got married to one.’

‘Hey, me too,’ said Julia. They all laughed at that.

Danny paused and then said, ‘Let me put it this way, I have no idea what
the future will hold, but I don't have any plans to change.’

‘That's what I said before I met Julia,’ said Siobhan. She put her arm
round Julia's shoulder and pulled her close, ‘It’s a good answer, Danny.
You seem to be someone who doesn't have a binary outlook.’

‘I have no idea what that means, Siobhan.’

Carl rose to freshen everybody's drinks and Danny felt a little drunk
now.

Siobhan took a sip of her drink before replying to Danny. ‘All I mean,
Danny, is that most people think that gender is male and female, that's
binary. I think it's more complicated than that. Instead of having only
two colours, black and white for instance, there's a whole palette of
colours to choose from. You don't have to be restricted to two types of
gender. It's almost infinite and very flexible.’

Danny sipped his brandy, and could see everyone watching him as he
thought about what to say.

‘So, I could decide to be gay tomorrow?’ He aimed for sarcasm, but
somehow it came out as a simple question.

‘Gender isn't about sexual orientation, and anyway, I don't think being
attracted to someone is a conscious decision. I didn't wake up one
morning and say to myself, I think I’ll be a lesbian today, I’ll go pick
up a girl. I met Julia and fell in love with her, I didn't set out to do
it, but when it happened, I didn't fight it.’

‘You couldn't possibly have fought me off, baby.’ Julia tucked her legs
beneath her on the sofa, ‘Have you ever fancied a guy, Danny? You're a
swimmer, right? All those sleek wet bodies in teeny tiny Speedos, did
you ever get a stiffy when you were in the changing rooms?’

‘Not fair,’ Carl piped up, ‘nearly every adolescent boy gets a crush on
another boy.’

Three pairs of eyes swivelled towards Carl, who went pink, ‘Well, yes, I
did.’

‘Come on Carly, you can't leave it there, give us the juicy bits.’ said
Julia.

Feeling the effects of the wine at dinner and the brandies, Carl opened
up more than normal.

‘Well, I spent a school summer holiday with one of my friends one year,
when my parents were away in Africa, and it wasn't safe for me to go out
there with them. He and I got close, and we, well, experimented a bit, I
guess you would say. We used to go swimming in a lake near their house,
and one day he suggested we go skinny dipping. There was nobody about so
we dropped our shorts and ran into the water. It was fun but then he
swam through my legs, came up in front of me, and suddenly we were
kissing. We used to go there whenever we could and we kissed a few more
times, but I think we both got a bit scared, and it kind of ended then.’

‘Very hot Carly, How about you, Danny?’ Julia asked.

Danny hesitated, but he had drunk enough for his inhibitions to have
slipped away, and for some reason he had found Carl’s story liberating.
‘Yes, there was a boy back in school, but it was just a phase.’

Julia raised one eyebrow and drawled, ‘Really? Just a phase?’

Danny felt himself getting pink this time. ‘It was the school play,
Romeo and Juliet. We were an all-boys school, so they needed one of us
to play Juliet, and well, I was pushed into playing the part. I had to
spend a lot of the time dressed to get used to wearing the costume. The
boy was playing Romeo, we clicked, and one thing led to another. I think
he got turned on by me in the costume. He only wanted to do anything
when I was dressed as Juliet. It was all adolescent stuff, we would
kiss, and I masturbated him once, that's all. I think he wanted to go
further, but that was enough for me.’

‘Yowsa!’ yelled Julia, ‘Danny for the win.’

Danny laughed and then thought that he had never told that story to
anyone. Why tonight? He didn't know, maybe it had been the brandy and
the presence of Julia and Siobhan.

‘So, both of you had gay encounters back then?’ Siobhan sat back with a
smug look on her face. ‘I think I made my point.’

‘Didn't you get crushes on a teacher? Isn't that what schoolgirls do?’
Danny thought he should fight back.

Julia grinned like a cheshire cat, ‘I did, but it was a lot more than a
crush, as Sister Annunciata would be able to tell you. Then again, I
knew I was gay from an early age, and precocious with it. I was expelled
from one school for seducing the French Assistante. She taught me some
French that wasn't in any phrase book. Although, I don't think we needed
any translation for what we were doing together.’

Siobhan shook her head at Julia’s story, then said ‘Sorry, not me, I was
so shy I didn't date anyone until I left school.’

Carl said, ‘I can't believe that.’

‘Nope, it's true, I would break out in spots if a boy came anywhere near
me, and being a redhead, well, that put everybody off back then. I went
to college to do my beauty course and there I had to overcome my
shyness. By then my hair had become an attraction for a certain type of
guy, the artistic types would love to come and tell me how beautiful my
hair looked. I slept with a few, but it never amounted to anything. Then
I met this creature here, who seduced me one afternoon as I was doing
her makeup. She kept putting her hand up my skirt and asking me if she
could see if I was a real redhead.’ She grinned at Julia, ‘Classy stuff,
but I fell for it.’

She bent down and kissed Julia on the lips and they smiled at each
other.

They turned back to face Carl and Danny. ‘So, you two don't fancy each
other, then?’ said Julia.

‘God, no.’ both men spoke at once.

Siobhan and Julia laughed and Siobhan went on, ‘We’re only teasing you,
but Carly does talk about you a lot, Danny.’

‘I do not,’ said Carl, a little too strongly thought Danny.

‘Anyway you boys,’ Siobhan stood up, ‘We have to love you and leave
you. Julia has a show tomorrow evening, and trust me, she needs her
beauty sleep.’

‘Cow,’ said Julia, who got to her feet a little more unsteadily.

‘Say goodnight to Danny and Carly, Julia.’ laughed Siobhan.

‘Nighty night, boys and girls.’

‘Come on, babe, off we go.’

Before leaving, Julia gave Carl a hug and then Danny, ‘I enjoyed meeting
you, Danny. You're lovely.’

‘Likewise, Julia, it's been a pleasure.’

As Siobhan hugged Danny, she whispered in his ear, ‘If you ever want to
be Juliet again, I can help.’

Danny felt an involuntary shiver run through him as he realised what
Siobhan had said. He blinked and said, ‘Thanks, Siobhan, but I don't
think I will.’

Siobhan let go of the hug, locked eyes with Danny and smiled, ‘You would
look lovely, I promise.’

Siobhan promptly dragged Julia out of the door and it fell quiet in the
room. Danny sat back down on the sofa and said, ‘Wow, Carl, they are
some pair.’

Carl smiled and said, ‘Yes, they’re wonderful girls. I hope they weren't
too much for you, they can be a bit overpowering at times.’

‘No, I enjoyed it, thank you for the invitation, but I guess I should be
going too. I’ll call a cab. I don't fancy walking to be honest.’

‘Why don't you stay here?’ Carl said, ‘I mean I have a spare bedroom, so
it wouldn't be a problem. We could have another drink and then call it a
night.’

Danny felt so comfortable on the sofa, and he didn't fancy getting up
and going home, so he said, ‘If you're sure, Carl?’

‘Positive Danny, the bed is made up and everything.’

Danny thanked Carl again and lay back on the sofa. Carl refilled their
glasses and sat on the other sofa opposite Danny.

‘You look tired, Danny.’

‘Yep, I guess I haven't slept that well recently, been worried about
work. It's not coming together as I thought it would. But tonight has
been a blast, and I haven't had so much to drink for a long time.’
‘It turned out well, don't you think? Siobhan took a shine to you,
didn't she?’ said Carl.

‘I guess so, but saying I could be pretty? I think not.’

‘She can be very persuasive.’ muttered Carl.

Danny’s eyes were getting heavy, and he felt that if he didn't lay down
soon he would fall asleep on the sofa.

‘Carl, I’m sorry but I think I'm going to have to go to bed if you don't
mind, I'm about to drop off here.’

‘OK, let me show you the bedroom.’

Carl took Danny through to the back of the apartment and opened a door
into a bedroom.

‘There's a small en-suite bathroom over there, and there are clean
towels there as well. Sleep well my friend, I’ll see you in the
morning.’

‘Goodnight, Carl, and thank you again.’ With that, Danny leaned forward
and hugged Carl, startling him, but after hesitating for a moment, he
hugged Danny back.

‘Goodnight Danny,’ said Carl, who looked at Danny curiously for a
moment, and then softly closed the door on his way out.

Carl had been caught by surprise when Danny hugged him, but he had to
admit it did feel good to have someone hold him again. Carl sat on the
side of his bed and wondered if it meant anything more than simply a
gesture of thanks from a friend. He shook his head, trying to clear out
the effects of the evening's drinking, and decided that Danny had drunk
a little too much. He turned out his light and fell asleep in seconds.

Chapter Three

Danny couldn't remember the last time he had felt this tired. The
worries of the past few weeks and the amount he had drunk this evening
had caught up on him. He had surprised himself when he hugged Carl, but
it had felt the natural thing to do. Carl had been so generous to invite
him to his place and then the offer of the bed for the night touched
Danny, and he had reacted instinctively. It had felt nice to hold
someone close. Hoping that he had not upset Carl, he undressed to his
briefs, climbed beneath the duvet and fell fast asleep.

Carl was back at his school friend’s house and they were down at the
lake. He was standing in the water up to his waist and laughing as his
friend dived beneath the water and swam between his legs. Carl giggled
as he felt his friend’s slippery body brush his inner thigh making his
cock stir a little. He was still laughing as his friend surfaced in
front of him making Carl close his eyes as water splashed up at him. A
pair of strong arms reached around him, pulled him close and he felt
soft lips brushing against his. He responded to the kiss, his own lips
opening to allow a tongue to slide into his mouth. Carl’s head spun as
he felt himself melting into the embrace, and he opened his eyes to look
into Danny’s sparkling blue eyes.

He woke with a start, his eyes snapped open as he recalled his dream,
and his heart began to race as he realised it had been Danny in his
dream. God, had he actually been dreaming about kissing Danny? It must
have been all the brandy together with the confessions he and Danny had
made and the hug Danny had given him. Brandy had always given him weird
dreams. He rolled over and tried to sleep again, but all he could think
of were those blue eyes.

Danny woke up with his head throbbing and his mouth dry as sandpaper. He
blinked once or twice as he tried to remember where he was. Everything
came back to him in a rush; the dinner, meeting Siobhan and Julia, the
confession, hugging Carl, and then staying over. Danny lay there and
swore to himself. Why the fuck had he told everybody that story about
the school play. His face began to burn as he remembered telling it in
front of Carl and the girls. He thought he had buried that memory years
ago, so why had it suddenly popped up in his mind and why, oh, why did
he decide to tell it? Then Siobhan, whispering in his ear if he ever
wanted to be Juliet again, she could help. He remembered the tingle he
had felt as she said it. Danny rolled onto his back and put his hands
over his eyes as all the memories came flooding back.

It had been the last year of school when they chose Romeo and Juliet as
the big drama club production of the year. Danny had been chosen to play
Mercutio, in his opinion, the best role in the play. He loved the Queen
Mab speech, with its allusions to magic and fairies and fulfilling your
dreams. OK, Mercutio gets stabbed early on, but Danny still thought it a
better role than the namby-pamby Romeo. Danny could still recall the day
when the boy cast to play Juliet broke his leg falling off the wall bars
in the gym. He could never play Juliet with a plaster cast on his leg.
The following day the drama teacher approached him at lunch break and
asked if he would be willing to swap roles and play Juliet.

The teacher said that the costume for Juliet wouldn't fit anyone else,
and they didn't have the time or the budget to get it altered. Danny had
been unwilling to give up the role of Mercutio, but the teacher
virtually blackmailed him into it, saying that if he didn't do it, they
would probably have to postpone or even cancel the production. Danny
protested that he could never learn the lines in time, but the drama
teacher countered that he had arranged special study time for Danny, so
that he could learn the part. In addition, a member of the local amateur
dramatic society had offered to give Danny voice and movement coaching
for the role. Danny felt it was unfair, but he knew they had boxed him
in; if he refused, everybody would blame him for cancelling the show.
Reluctantly he agreed, but he was heartbroken about losing the role of
Mercutio.

Starting to learn Juliet’s lines, Danny discovered to his horror that
she had double the lines he had already learnt for Mercutio. As well as
learning the lines, he had to try on the costume for Juliet. He hated
the idea of wearing a dress, so unlike the Mercutio costume, which he
thought way cooler. So, he turned up for the first fitting for the dress
in a foul mood, determined to hate the whole thing. He felt disconcerted
to find out a woman from the local amateur dramatic society was going to
do the fitting. She had volunteered to do it so she could begin his
coaching for the role. It surprised even more to find out she was pretty
and only about five or six years older than himself.

She introduced herself as Shirley and asked if he had ever played a
girl’s role before. When he said he hadn’t, she cheerfully said that it
wouldn't be a problem, with his figure she thought he would do fine.
Shirley suggested he should try on the dress first as it would be easier
for him to get used to the role in costume. She had him strip to his
underpants, and his face burned to be like that in front of her, but she
didn't seem to notice. He remembered the totally unexpected thrill which
flooded through him as she dropped the dress over his head and laced him
tightly into it. Shirley made him wear some white tights under the dress
and he shivered as he felt his nylon clad legs rubbing against each
other.

She sat him down and applied his stage makeup before styling his hair
which he already wore long. She helped him into the shoes that came with
the costume. They only had a small heel, but as he stood up, he felt how
different it made him feel. His calves felt tighter, and his bottom
stuck out a bit more, so he had to adjust his posture to compensate for
the extra height. Shirley had him practise walking and moving in the
dress which he found quite heavy and he had been exhausted by the time
she called a halt.

‘Danny,’ she said, ‘I'm surprised and really pleased. You seem to have
taken to this much quicker than I imagined and you look so natural in
that dress.’ He remembered blushing at her words and the way they made
him feel. He met with her a few more times to practise and she seemed
happy with the progress he made. He found to his great surprise that he
began looking forward to their sessions and he began to think that
playing Juliet might not be such a bad deal after all. At the end of
their last session, as he prepared to take off the dress, Shirley hugged
him, wished him good luck and to his astonishment, she kissed him on the
lips. He felt himself kissing her back for a few seconds before she
broke the kiss.

‘Oh my God, I'm so sorry, Danny I shouldn't have done that. You look so
sweet and pretty. Please don't tell anyone, please?’

He shook his head, unable to say anything, but he knew he wouldn't tell
anyone about the kiss. All he could think of the excitement he had felt
to be kissed by her. They never met again, but he did spot her smiling
up at him from the audience for one of the performances.

He recalled the way his body responded to the touch of the boy playing
Romeo. The boy had done a double take when he first saw Danny in costume
and thereafter took every opportunity to be alone with him as they
rehearsed their scenes. He touched Danny more often than necessary, but
Danny didn't mind, in fact he went out of his way to stand close to
Romeo and when Romeo kissed him for the first time behind some of the
scenery, he could remember the thrill that had flooded through his
adolescent body. Danny knew that he felt attracted to Romeo only when he
wore the dress, but wearing the costume and makeup for Juliet, he seemed
to immerse himself so deeply into the role, it changed his whole
personality.

Playing the role had brought to the surface emotions that he never
imagined; he felt softer, gentler and yes, feminine. When they were in
costume for the play, he could barely keep his hands off Romeo, even to
the point of masturbating him once in a quiet moment during a dress
rehearsal. Once the play had finished, and he had taken the dress off,
he had felt no attraction for the boy playing Romeo. From that day until
last night he had not told a single soul what had happened. Danny
shuddered at what the others must have thought about his story. Well, he
thought, Julia and Siobhan didn't matter, but he worried about how he
could face Carl. Although Carl did share his own story, so if they both
ignored each other's indiscretions, it might be OK.

He could hear Carl moving around outside the bedroom, so he decided he
should also get up. Having freshened up in the bathroom, he got dressed
and ventured out and into the kitchen. Carl had beaten him to it,
already brewing the coffee and putting out some croissants on the table.
‘Morning Danny, how you feeling?’

‘Horrible, my head is throbbing and my tongue’s stuck to the roof of my
mouth. How about you?’

‘About the same, there's some painkillers on the counter and water or
some juice in the fridge if you want.’

Danny took a couple of tablets and swallowed them with water.

‘Thanks Carl. Did I make a fool of myself last night?’

Carl looked up and smiled, ‘No, no more than I did.’

‘Thank God for that. Thanks again for letting me stay over, I really
appreciate it.’

‘You're welcome, mate.’

Carl's headache eased off with the painkillers, but as he sat there
drinking his coffee, he couldn't stop himself stealing looks at Danny.
Every time Danny looked up, Carl could see those same clear blue eyes
that had appeared in his dream. Carl uttered a little moan as he tried
to force himself not to look.

‘Carl, you OK? not feeling so good?’ Danny asked. He kept catching Carl
stealing little glances at him. Was he thinking of that stupid story
Danny had told everyone last night? Was Carl going to tell him that he
didn't want to see him again because of it?

‘No, I'm good thanks, Danny. Anything you fancy doing today?’

‘No, I guess I should be heading off home soon. What about you?’

Danny felt relieved. If Carl wanted to do something together, then he
might not be so upset with him.

The front door bell rang, making them both jump. ‘Oh, fuck, who's that?’
said Carl. He walked out of the kitchen and Danny heard him open the
front door and then he walked back into the kitchen followed by Siobhan.

‘Hello boys, how are you this morning? Feeling grand are we?’ Her Irish
lilt a little more prominent this morning.

‘Apart from a banging hangover, fine, thank you,’ said Danny, marvelling
at how fresh Siobhan looked. ‘How are you?’

‘Top of the morning, thanks, Danny.’

‘How can you be so cheerful? You had as much to drink as we did.’
‘It's a Celtic secret, Danny. You benighted English wouldn't understand.
Anyway, do you fancy coming to the show tonight? It's a charity thing so
there's plenty of space for you to come along if you want to. It'll be
fun, and there will be a free bar we can get you into.’

Carl looked across to Danny and said, ‘I'm up for it. Danny, what about
you?’

Danny said, ‘Great, I'm good too. Sounds like it should be fun.’

‘That's grand, it starts at eight o'clock, over in Docklands. We have to
be up there early, but you can share our ride back afterwards if you
wait a little for us. I'll put your names on the door and here are the
passes for the bar.’ She gave each of them a plastic card and said, ‘I
should be able to come out and find you when you arrive. Text me when
you get there.’

She looked at Danny and said, ‘Mother of God, your eyes are striking,
Danny. I wish you would let me get to work on you, your own mother
wouldn't recognise you.’

Danny wished she wouldn't keep saying things like that, because every
time she did, a ripple of excitement ran through him; he hated it, yet
loved it at the same time.

Danny blushed and Siobhan laughed. ‘See you tonight boys.’ Carl let her
out of the front door and returned to the kitchen.

Carl said, ‘She normally gets her way, you know.’

‘What do you mean?’

Carl smiled, ‘You’ll find out, I'm sure.’

Danny shrugged, he wasn't up for playing games, his head still throbbed
too badly.

Carl picked up his coffee and stood by the window looking out into the
garden. He thought for a few minutes about whether he should ask Danny
about the idea which had been churning away in his mind. He turned to
look at Danny, checking emails on his phone and decided to go ahead.
‘Danny, can I ask you a question?’

‘Sure, fire away.’

‘You said last night the work search isn't going too well, is that
right?’

Danny put his phone down, ‘Yes, it's taking longer to build up the
freelance work than I imagined and full times jobs don't come up often.’
‘You told me a couple of weeks ago, the lease is up on your flat soon,
right?’

Danny was puzzled; where was Carl going with this?

‘Yes, and the landlord is making noises about a rent increase, which
would be a problem for me right now.’

Carl paused, ‘I don't know if this would help, or even if you would want
to, but I have the spare room here, and if it helped out, you could move
in here.’

Danny had been so surprised he wasn't sure he had heard Carl properly.
‘Sorry, did you just say I could move in here?’

‘Yes, if it would help you out, that is. The room is here and there's
plenty of space here for us not to be on top of each other.’

‘But, Carl, if I can't afford my current place, I couldn't afford to
live here.’

Carl laughed, ‘No you idiot, I wouldn't want rent, I own the place
outright. A share of the running costs would be enough, food and bills
and stuff like that.’

Danny thought quickly. On one hand it would solve a lot of his problems
until the work built up, but on the other hand it would put him under a
big obligation to Carl. He liked Carl, so he didn't think there would be
a big personality clash. There was enough space here for sure, all he
needed would be somewhere to set up his computer, but apart from that,
he didn't need much. As if reading his mind, Carl said, ‘There's a space
off the kitchen that's a storeroom at the moment, we could clear that
out for you to work in.’

‘Carl, are you serious? That's a big step for you to have someone else
sharing your place.’

‘Danny, I am totally serious. I have shared before, and we get on well,
so why not? I would enjoy the company to be honest.’

‘Carl, that's the most generous thing anyone’s done for me. If you're OK
with it, I would love to take you up on it.’

Carl beamed, ‘That's great Danny, I'm so pleased. When do you think you
would need to move?’

‘I know the landlord is keen to get more for the place so I don't think
there would be any problem. I need to talk to him, but would next
weekend be too soon.’

‘No, that's perfect, I’ll get the storeroom sorted, do you need anything
special for your work?’

‘Not much, I do everything on the mac, so fast broadband is all I need.’

‘No problem then, Danny, I’ve got the fastest package I could get
already installed.’

Danny’s head started to whirl, he hadn’t expected anything like this and
he needed to sort his thoughts out.

‘Carl, in that case, I’ll shoot off home and get started on organising
stuff. I don't have much as the flat came furnished. I can put some of
it into storage, so I’ll only bring across what I need.’

They agreed to meet later that afternoon before heading off together to
Julia’s show. Danny walked back to his flat to help clear his head, and
it gave him time to think about what had happened this morning. He hoped
he was doing the right thing; he and Carl were good friends, but sharing
the apartment would be different. Still, it would be a lifesaver for him
at the moment. His business had been growing, but more slowly than he
could afford. Danny reassured himself that it wouldn't be for long as he
would be able to move out again when business picked up.

Carl felt pleased that Danny had accepted his offer to share. He missed
having someone around now that Simone had moved out; he had never
enjoyed his own company much, so having Danny around would be nice. It
would mean a few changes, but that wouldn't be a problem. He had made a
promise, and he intended to keep it.

Chapter Four

Later in the afternoon, Danny walked across to Carl's and they headed
out to Docklands from there. The show was in the ExCel centre in
Docklands, and Danny suggested they catch the cable car across the
river. Carl agreed straight away as he had been keen to use it for some
time. It had been built for the London Olympics, but had turned into an
expensive white elephant afterwards. It only took ten minutes to make
the crossing, and it delighted Danny to see his friend so excited by the
trip.

They arrived at the ExCel in good spirits and set about looking for the
show. There seemed to be a lot of flamboyantly dressed people milling
around as was to be expected, they assumed, at a fashion show. Carl
started to text Siobhan to let her know they were here when Danny nudged
him and pointed to a huge banner hung above their heads.

‘Did you know about this,’ Danny hissed at Carl.

‘No, I had no idea, she never said anything to me.’

At that moment, Siobhan arrived, looking like she had stepped out of a
Rossetti painting. Her hair flowed around her shoulders and heads turned
as she moved through the crowd and greeted both of them with a cheek
kiss.

‘Hello you two, I'm glad you could make it. What do you think?’ Her eyes
were twinkling as she spoke.

Danny looked up at the banner over their heads and said, ‘Er, TransDress
2016?’

Siobhan tilted her head, smiled and said, ‘I told you, didn't I?’

‘No, actually, you didn't,’ said Carl.

‘Ach well, it's for a charity that helps provide dressing advice and
support for transgender teenagers. It's terribly difficult for them to
get help when they need it. It's a great cause.’

‘I thought you said Julia would be in the show,’ said Carl.

‘Well no, I'm sure I didn't say that. She is the producer and coach to
the models tonight. They're all transgender girls and she volunteered to
produce the show and I'm supervising the makeup and wardrobe.’

Danny looked around a little more closely at the people in the crowd and
he suddenly realised most of them were dressed either in an androgynous
way or cross-dressed completely. His eyes widened as a beautifully made
up boy walked past wearing heels, a mini skirt and a transparent silk
blouse, and who turned his head to smile at Danny and gave him a slow
wink.

Siobhan giggled as she saw Danny's face and said, ‘Come on boys, let's
get you a drink, I think you need one.’ They followed her through the
crowd, their eyes flicking from one side to the other as they took in
the sights around them. The music and colour and atmosphere reminded
Carl of the time he had been to carnival in Rio. all around them were
young people dressed in every style you could imagine; boys wearing
skirts and see-through blouses, and girls wearing tuxedos, and a million
styles in between. It was loud and brash, and to Carl exhilaratingly
naughty. His eyes kept focusing on some of the boys dressed as girls. He
felt his heart run a little faster as he watched a boy who had the face
of an angel, stop Carl in his tracks as he turned and smile at him, He
felt his face flush and he hurried to catch up with Siobhan and Danny.
Siobhan ushered them into a private VIP room saying, ‘Have a few drinks
and enjoy yourselves. I've got to supervise the makeup, but I'll come
back for you later on.’ She blew them a kiss and disappeared. They
looked at each other, both unsure of what to do next.

‘Hi, I'm Trixie, what can I get you two girls to drink?’

They turned to find a boy made up as a Goth looking expectantly at them.
Danny's eyes widened as he took in the black leather hot pants, fishnets
and the cropped mesh t-shirt, together with a belly ring which looked
like a snake glittering from a bare midriff.

‘Well, girls? I haven't got all day.’ Trixie laid a hand with black
painted nails on Carl’s arm and said, ‘I've got white wine, red wine and
pink wine. Well it's rosé really, but it's so much nicer to call it pink
don't you think? It's a bit mixed up, like me. So what’ll it be, butch
red, femme white or bi pink?’

Danny started to giggle and Trixie pouted. ‘So, that’s white for you,
you naughty girl, and I think pink for your lovely friend here. Don't go
anywhere, I’ll be right back.’ Rubbing Carl’s arm Trixie smiled at Carl,
then turned and headed for the bar. Carl giggled nervously, ‘My God,
what have we let ourselves in for?’

‘I don't know but I need that drink.’ replied Danny, watching Trixie’s
bum wiggle provocatively across to the bar. Trixie looked back and
smiled at Carl before winking at him. Carl blushed a deep red and Danny
giggled at his friend’s embarrassment.

‘Hi, I’m Peta, who are you?’ A woman wearing a badge with the Charity
logo and carrying an iPad and a walkie talkie approached them, smiling
broadly.

‘Uh, we’re with Siobhan.’ said Carl.

She looked down at the iPad. ‘Ah, you’re Danny and Carl, right? Siobhan
put your names down on the list. Welcome to TransDress, it's great to
have you here. Like I said, I’m Peta and I do the PR for the charity.
Are you friends of Siobhan?’

‘Yes, we live downstairs from Siobhan and Julia.’ said Carl.

‘That's wonderful, Siobhan and Julia have been fantastic supporters of
the charity, we couldn't have put this on without their help. Any
friends of theirs are friends of ours, for sure. Do you know anything
about the charity? Do you have an interest in the TG community?’
At that moment Trixie returned and Peta paused as Trixie gave Danny and
Carl their drinks.

‘That's a femmy white for you, and a lovely bi pink for you, sweetie.’
Trixie winked at Carl once again as he took his drink.

‘Is Trixie looking after you?’ said Peta, smiling.

Trixie giggled, ‘I'd like to look after this one if he'd let me.’

Trixie’s tongue slipped out between black lips and Carl blushed pink
again.

‘Now, now, Trixie, I’m sure there are others who need a drink.’

Trixie pouted and turned away. ‘I’ll be back, don't worry,’

Peta grinned broadly, ‘Don't worry about Trixie, ze is harmless. Ze
likes to flirt.’

‘I'm sorry, did you say, ze?’ said Danny, looking puzzled.

Peta smiled. ‘Ze? It's a gender neutral pronoun.’

Danny still looked puzzled.

‘A lot of non-binary people feel alienated if people use he, or she, if
it doesn't fit their gender identity. Ze is a neutral pronoun. It
doesn’t reflect any specific gender identity. There’s a section on our
website which explains it all. Look, I'm sorry I have to do the rounds,
it's great to have you here. Enjoy the show. I’ll try to catch you later
with Siobhan, if I can.’ She flashed a smile and moved off to talk to
someone else.

Carl whistled softly, ‘Wow, it's a completely different world.’
Danny grinned, ‘Well, you've made a conquest, Carl. Ze is hot for you.’
Carl spluttered as he had taken a sip of his wine, then laughed at his
own embarrassment. Before long, they were chatting to others in the VIP
room. Some were journalists, some supporters of the charity and some
friends and relatives of those in the show. Trixie kept them topped up
with drinks and quite soon Danny felt a little buzzed. He hadn't eaten
anything except for some crisps and his glass had been topped up
whenever it got even half way empty. Trixie seemed to be staying close
to Carl, who, to Danny’s eyes at least, didn't seem to mind the
attention too much.

Peta stood up on a chair and made a short speech, thanking everyone for
coming to support the charity. She said that the show would be starting
in a few minutes and she hoped everyone would enjoy themselves. People
began to file through the door and Danny and Carl moved with them.
‘Danny, Danny.’ He heard Peta’s voice, and he looked around as she
pushed her way through to him.

‘I just had a message from Siobhan. Can you wait here for her, she’ll be
a minute. Carl, you can go ahead into the show.’

Danny shrugged to Carl, ‘See you later.’ Carl said, and turned to follow
the others, as Trixie appeared at his side and put an arm through
Carl’s.

Danny grinned and hung back as Siobhan had asked, but he wondered what
she wanted him for. The others had disappeared when Siobhan pushed open
another door and waved him over.

‘Come on,’ she said, ‘we haven't got a lot of time before it all
starts.’

As he got to the door, Siobhan grabbed his hand and pulled him through
into a corridor.

‘Where are we going?’ he said.

‘Ssh,’ she put her finger to her mouth, ‘we’re right behind the audience
for the show.’

She led him down the corridor, pushed open a door at the end and walked
into a scene of what looked to Danny like chaos. People were everywhere
in a small space behind what he guessed would be the runway. Models sat
in chairs being made up, and there were racks of clothes all with photos
of the models who were to wear them. People with clipboards and headsets
were running around and trying to bring some order to the chaos.

Danny spotted Julia who seemed to be in her element, barking orders to
assistants and talking through her headset. She waved at Danny as
Siobhan led him to a chair and gave him a headset to listen on. Over the
headset he heard Julia say ‘Showtime minus 15, people. Good luck and
make this a great show tonight.’

He could feel the tension rising in the room, and it reminded him of the
last few minutes before his performance of Juliet all those years ago.
Siobhan went to help one of the makeup artists and Danny tried to melt
into the background. Models were climbing into the outfits and Danny
realised with a start that what he had assumed were female were either
transgender or androgynous looking boys. Julia’s voice came over the
headset, ‘Five minutes to showtime. Places everyone.'

Hairdressers and makeup artists were doing last minute touch ups and the
tension in the room notched up even further. He heard the music begin in
the runway room and Siobhan pointed to a monitor feeding pictures from
the other room. The camera swept around the room and Danny caught a
glimpse of Carl sitting next to Trixie, who seemed to have a hand on his
leg. Danny felt a small pang as he saw Trixie move even closer to Carl.
Was that jealousy he felt? Surely not. He switched his attention back to
the room, and the models were now lining up ready to go out onto the
runway.

‘Showtime, let's make it a great one.’ Julia’s voice cut through and
models began to move out of the room. Siobhan came and sat next to him
as the room began to empty. She brought her lips to his ear, ‘Exciting
isn't it? Don't they all look so beautiful? Do you like that?’

He nodded. He didn't know if whether he was buzzed from the drinks or
being involved in the charged atmosphere backstage but he almost
quivered with excitement. His head spun as everywhere he looked there
were models who looked like beautiful girls but had been born male. He
felt his cock stir as he thought about what it would be like to be one
of these models lining up in the most beautiful dresses or skirts and
blouses. He wondered what it would be like to stride along the runway
with everyone knowing he was a male beneath the female clothes. In the
design world Danny had heard about the success of models like Andrej
Pejic and Stav Strashko, but he had never believed it could be possible
for a man to look this good as a woman.

Siobhan saw the look in his eyes and guessed that Danny felt overwhelmed
by the excitement of everything going on around him. She hesitated for a
moment, then grabbed his hand and pulled him up. She led him over to a
makeup desk they hadn't needed and pulled a screen around it. Nobody
could see them from the room. She pushed him down onto the chair and he
looked up at her as he realised what she intended to do.

Danny made to speak, but Siobhan put her finger to his lips and said,
‘Danny, please let me do this for you, just this once. Nobody will ever
know. I think you want me to, don't you?’

He looked at her and he knew he should have said no and walked away.
But, something deep inside made him hesitate, and in that moment he was
lost. He sat there like a rabbit caught in headlights, and Siobhan
sensed his resistance weakening. She sat beside him and pulled the
makeup kit towards her. She knew she didn't have much time, but she had
done this so many times, it wouldn't matter. She quickly decided that a
natural look would be the way to go, making the most of his best
features but nothing too dramatic. At least for this time she thought.
Danny had shaved before he came out and luckily his beard didn't seem to
be too heavy, so a medium cover foundation and a little concealer would
be enough. He seemed almost in a trance as she worked, carefully but
quickly, shading and contouring his face with blusher, helping to
emphasise his lovely cheekbones.

He had those lovely blue eyes, and she wanted to make them pop. She used
a bronze colour eyeshadow across the lid with a darker colour blending
into the crease. She used the same colours beneath the eye to make the
eyes look as big as possible, with a little highlight in the inner
corner of each eye. She didn't have time to finesse too much as she
didn't know how much more Danny would take. He seemed compliant, almost
trancelike, at the moment, but she didn't want to push it too far. She
finished off his eyes with a little eyeliner and then some mascara.

There wasn't much she could do with his eyebrows other than to brush
them as smooth as possible and hold them in place with brow gel.
She finally started on his lips, drawing around them with a pencil to
make them look larger, and then used a brush with a soft pink lipstick
to colour in his lips. The pink would look so sweet and complement his
colouring without taking attention away from his eyes. As a makeup
artist she loved this moment when she had almost finished and she could
see what a difference her skill and experience had made.

Danny had no idea what Siobhan was doing to him, but every few seconds
he would think I have to stop this now, but every time he tried to say
something he couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt dazed the brushes
slid across his skin and her fingers worked on his face. There was
something soothing and calming about the way Siobhan went about her
work, and his mind drifted back to the time when he had been Juliet. In
the end he gave in completely and sat there quietly and still as she
worked on him.

She could hear the show going on around them and she prayed that nobody
would come looking for her right now. She sat back and made a few minor
adjustments, but she felt happy with what she had done.

‘Danny, close your eyes, I’m going to let your hair down so don't move.’

She released his blond hair from its ponytail allowing it to tumble down
to his shoulders. Grabbing a hairbrush, she quickly brushed it out and
arranged it around his face. She did a little touch up here and there,
but then decided she could do no more.

She turned a mirror round so Danny would be looking straight into it.
She took a deep breath and said, ‘OK, Danny, you can open your eyes
now.’

Danny hesitated, what would he look like? A bloke wearing makeup that's
what. Why had he agreed to this crazy idea, he would look stupid? He
finally snapped his eyes open, and it took a second or two to adjust to
the light, but he blinked once or twice and then everything came into
sharp focus. His first foolish thought was that Siobhan had played a
trick on him, putting a girl opposite him to make him think it was his
face in the mirror. A split second later he realised it was his face,
but then again it wasn’t. He moved his head, and the head in the mirror
moved, so it must be his face; but it wasn't one he recognised. His eyes
looked enormous and his lips were, well, sexy was the first word that
came into his mind. His blond hair framed his face, making it look
narrower and feminine. It was surely a woman’s face that started back at
him from the mirror. He couldn't believe it was him. He touched his nose
with his finger to see if it was his face and he was shocked to feel his
finger on his skin. It was him.

‘Well,’ said Siobhan softly, ‘What do you think?’

Her voice broke the spell the face in the mirror had put on him and he
jumped. He looked up at her, his eyes shining, and he found it difficult
to speak. He shook his head instead, and Siobhan's heart sank, he didn't
like it, he was angry. He finally found his voice, ‘I can't believe it,
it’s beautiful.’

She heaved a sigh of relief and grinned, ‘I didn't do a bad job did I?’
He shook his head again, ‘I still don't believe what you've done. I look
so feminine.’ He smiled and looked back in the mirror, tilting his head
one way than the other, not quite taking in how she had made him look.
At that precise moment Carl, Julia and Trixie walked round the edge of
the screen.

‘This is where you’ve got to, We've been looking for you both…’ Julia's
voice trailed off as she took in the scene in front of them. Trixie
broke the silence first.

‘I knew femmy white was the right drink for her.’

Chapter Five

The show had finished and Trixie had grabbed his hand, ‘Come on, let's
go find your friend.’ It felt strange, but he didn't mind Trixie holding
his hand. Trixie had slipped an arm through his when they walked into
the show, and Carl had initially been embarrassed, thinking that
everyone would be looking at him and laughing. When he realised that at
this show nobody would bat an eyelid, not even a heavily mascaraed
eyelid at him being with Trixie, he began to relax. Trixie was great
company; wickedly funny and charming in equal measure. Carl began to
enjoy the show and didn't mind when Trixie put a hand on his leg. He
knew he had drunk a bit, but he was aware of what was going on. He
didn't encourage anything, but he didn't go out of his way to discourage
the attention he was receiving either.

Trixie lent close to him and whispered in his ear, ‘Are you enjoying the
show?’

Carl nodded, fascinated by the models as they strutted up and down the
catwalk. Some were androgynous, some he felt had to be women he thought,
despite what he had been told. They were so convincing.

Trixie lent close again, ‘Which one do you like best?’

Carl felt so confused, he knew the models were male, but they looked so
good. He gulped as one of the models wearing a silk blouse slashed open
to the waist with a pair of harem pants, struck a pose at the end of the
catwalk, flicked his hair and looked Carl straight in the eye. God,
thought Carl, he looked so sexy.

Trixie slid a hand back onto Carl's leg and felt him twitch at the
touch. Carl was now almost hypnotised by the show and he began to feel a
little hot. The music died away and as the show came to an end, they all
stood to applaud as the models dragged Julia out onto the runway to
share in the applause. Julia spotted Carl and motioned for him to join
her backstage. Trixie came with him and they found Julia basking in the
glow of the success of the show. She gave Carl a hug and introduced her
to Trixie. Julia raised an eyebrow to Carl when Trixie looked away, but
Carl choose not to react.

‘Have you seen Siobhan?’ Julia asked.

‘I saw her disappear over there.’ One of the assistants offered, waving
his arm towards a small screened off area. Julia led them all over and
she walked round the screen and they all followed. Carl assumed Siobhan
was making up one of the models, and it was only when the model looked
up at them he stared into Danny’s sparkling blue eyes.

Carl heard Trixie say something, but all Carl could think about was how
beautiful his friend looked. Siobhan spoke first, ‘Don't you think he
looks great?’

Danny felt close to fainting and covered his face with his hands. Julia
said, ‘Danny, you look wonderful, but I think we should all be getting
ready to go home now.’ She gestured to Carl that they should leave and
with Trixie they moved away. Still stunned by what he had seen, Carl
didn't know what to think. How on earth had Danny let Siobhan do that?
He knew she could be mischievous. He knew how persuasive she could be,
and he guessed that Danny would have been like putty in her hands. Carl
knew Siobhan liked to play games with people and he knew she had set her
sights on Danny

Danny appeared after a few minutes with the makeup removed and his hair
back in the familiar ponytail. He looked embarrassed and sat quietly in
the car on the way back. When they arrived back at the apartment Danny
scurried away to his room as Carl said goodnight to the girls. Carl made
himself a drink and considered knocking on Danny’s door to see if he
wanted one, but he thought Danny might want to be on his own.

Danny closed his door and threw himself on the bed. Why had he allowed
Siobhan to do that to him? He had been so embarrassed when the others
had come round the corner of the curtain. Carl would think he was such
an idiot. He had to hope that he could laugh it off with Carl as a joke
that went a bit too far. His mind drifted back to when Siobhan had let
him see what she had done. He had expected to see a grotesque caricature
in the mirror, lipstick on a gorilla he thought. Instead, he had almost
fainted when Siobhan revealed the mirror. He could hardly believe how he
looked, somehow his face had looked slimmer, his features smaller and,
well, feminine. His eyes had sparkled, and he realised that Siobhan had
been right - he could look pretty. He shuddered and thought, well that’s
not going to happen again.

Danny finally fell asleep and dreamt of the school play once again.
Dressed in his Juliet costume, he watched as Romeo slowly approached
him, took him in his arms and kissed him, his tongue invading Danny’s
mouth. He felt powerless to resist as Romeo’s hands pressed down on his
shoulders and he fell to his knees as a huge cock emerged from Romeo’s
cod piece. Danny took it in his mouth and as he began to suck, the cock
grew bigger and bigger until Danny could no longer keep it in his mouth.
He let it slip out and looked up to see Carl staring wide eyed back down
at him. Danny woke up choking and sweating. For the rest of the night he
tossed and turned still disturbed by the dream.

He was relieved that Carl had already left for work before he emerged
from his room. He left Carl a note asking if it would still alright for
him move in. He prayed that Carl wouldn't hold the evening against him.
Carl rang that evening and reassured Danny that he was welcome, and that
he would help him out with the move next weekend. Danny let out a long
sigh of relief, things seemed to be back on the straight and level.

Chapter Six

The following week Danny sorted out his belongings, using the
opportunity to clear out a lot of what he no longer needed down to the
charity shop. On Saturday, he and Carl loaded his remaining possessions
into a small hire van and moved it all into Carl’s place. As promised
Carl had cleared out the storeroom and Danny set up his work desk and
computer. He logged onto the Wi-Fi network and found to his relief
everything seemed to work perfectly.

They ordered a takeaway that night and celebrated the move with a couple
of bottles of red wine. Carl felt good about inviting Danny to share;
the apartment had felt empty since Simone had left and it would be good
to have someone around who made him laugh as much as Danny. He caught
himself a couple of times looking into Danny’s bright blue eyes and
thinking how sweet Danny looked when he smiled. He shook off the feeling
and deciding he had drunk enough, he said goodnight to Danny and took
himself to bed.

Danny stayed at the table for a while longer, thinking how lucky he had
been to meet Carl and how well they were getting on. He liked Carl a
lot; he had never had such a close male friend before and he thought
they made a good pair. He thought himself more passive than Carl, who,
although kind and gentle, seemed more assertive than Danny. Carl also
seemed to be looking out for Danny which made him feel good.

Danny had said that working from the flat, he would take responsibility
for cleaning and would do the cooking in lieu of not paying rent. Danny
enjoyed cooking, so it wouldn't be a big problem for him. Carl told him
that wasn't necessary, but Danny could see that Carl was pleased about
his offer.

On Sunday Danny spent putting the rest of his clothes away then invited
Carl to the pub for a late lunch. They walked down to the river and sat
watching the river for a while as they ate. Carl took a pull at his pint
and quietly asked, ‘Danny, were you OK with what Siobhan did at the
show?’

‘Yes, I guess so. It was a bit of a laugh, she's persuasive, isn't she?’
Carl laughed, ‘Oh yes, she could charm water out of a rock I think. You
know, she did one hell of a job on you. I couldn't believe what a change
she made.’

‘I know, when she let me see myself in the mirror, I nearly passed out.
For a second, I thought it was a trick somehow.’ Danny giggled, ‘Trixie
had the hots for you, I remember.’

Carl laughed, ‘If I’d had a couple more drinks God knows what might have
happened.’

They both laughed and finished their pints before heading back to the
flat. Carl said he would be heading off on a business trip for a few
days, so they both turned in early. Early the next morning Danny heard
Carl moving about, so he pulled on his dressing gown and headed to the
kitchen.

‘Morning Carl, fancy a coffee and toast?’ Shouted Danny to Carl through
his bedroom door.

‘Great thanks,’ shouted Carl back.

Carl emerged from his room with a small suitcase just as the toast
popped up and the coffee machine gurgled. Carl had on a beautifully cut,
dark blue business suit with a white shirt and matching silk tie. Danny
had never seen Carl in a business suit before, and he realised with a
slight start that how good Carl looked in the suit.

‘I haven't seen that suit before, is it new? It looks great on you.’

Carl looked pleased at the compliment, ‘Yes, it's new, Armani.’

Danny whistled, ‘Very nice. Where are you off to?’

‘Bristol. It's not a bad place but the client’s a cheapskate, I’ll
probably be in a cheap hotel and they will try to squeeze every penny
out of the budget. Still, I’ll be back Friday.’

Carl's phone pinged, ‘That's my uber outside, see you Thursday evening
when I get back.’

Danny watched as Carl wheeled his case down the hall, ‘Have a good
trip.’ For some reason he couldn't fathom, Danny felt a pang as Carl
closed the door behind him. Danny planned to work on a commission which
he had to deliver later that day and he managed to finish it
mid-afternoon. He sat back in his chair, happy with what he had done,
and as he sent it off to the client, the doorbell rang. He opened the
door to find Siobhan standing there.

‘Hi Danny, how are you?’

Danny hadn't seen her since the night of the show and he blushed,
remembering what had happened then. ‘Hi, Siobhan, I'm good thanks, come
on in.’

Danny made them both tea, and they sat at the kitchen table watching the
rain which had started earlier pounding down outside.

‘About that night at the show,’ started Danny, aiming to tell her that
it had been a mistake, and that it had been a one-off, never to be
repeated event. But, before he could say anything else, Siobhan
interrupted him.

‘You're welcome Danny, next time we’ll spend more time on it, but I
wanted to talk to you about your design skills. Peta, the charity PR
girl called me this morning. She heard you were a designer and wanted me
to ask you if you might be interested in doing some work for them. Their
designer quit recently and they're looking for someone else. They don't
have much money but she said they could pay for any work.’

Siobhan had wrong footed Danny; he completely forgot what he had been
about to say.

‘Well, yes, of course I'd be interested. Business is getting better but
anything would help.’

‘OK, I thought you might say that so I took the chance to set up a
meeting with her on Thursday, if that's OK with you?’

Danny nodded, ‘That's fine. Thanks Siobhan, that’s great.’
Siobhan frowned, ‘There's only one small thing, Danny. Peta is adamant
that anyone who does work for the charity is involved in the TG
community.’

‘Siobhan, that means I can't do it. Why on earth would she give me any
work?’

Siobhan smiled, ‘That’s OK because I told her you are about to come out
as TG, and she said fine, but she had to see you dressed to make sure. I
said that wouldn't be a problem.’

Danny thought he would faint, ‘You said what? Are you mad? I can't do
that.’

Siobhan looked calmly back at him. ‘Sure you can, Danny. Didn't the
other night prove that? You looked so good. You seemed to enjoy it.’
‘But, that was a one off, I couldn't possibly carry it off.’

‘Danny, think about it, you would get the chance to work with a high
profile charity, that has got to be worth it to get you some publicity,
surely?’

Danny thought Siobhan had gone mad. How could he possibly do this? There
was no way he would do it. Although she had a point, the publicity would
be worth its weight in gold.

Siobhan could see him wavering, and she knew she had to keep nudging him
towards accepting the notion.

‘Danny, let me make you an offer. Let me help you to see what could be
done, let me get you dressed and made up and if you still don't think it
would work, I’ll call it off with Peta. If you think you look OK, we can
spend the next two days getting you prepared for the meeting. How does
that sound? Surely it's worth a little time to see?’

Danny dropped his head into his hands. It sounded madness, but what if
she were right? Would it be worth trying?

Siobhan pressed on, ‘What's the worst that could happen if you did this?
If Peta doesn't like your work, you’ve lost nothing, everything goes
back to normal. If she does, then you’ll have some work and the chance
to get yourself some wonderful visibility. By the way, where’s Carl?’
‘He’s on a business trip, won't be back until Friday.’

‘OK, then, Julia’s on a shoot all this week, I'm only booked for a
couple of jobs this week, so it's just us two. That's karma surely,
let's have dinner tonight upstairs in my flat and see if it would work.’
Danny was still shaking his head when he heard a voice that sounded like
his, say, ‘OK.’

Chapter Seven

He must have decided about half a dozen times to call Siobhan to say he
wouldn't go through it, only to pull back. He was still dithering at
seven o'clock, the time they had agreed to meet. He grabbed a bottle of
wine from the rack and walked up the stairs to the girls’ flat. Why on
earth was he doing this? He needed the work for sure, but deep down he
knew something else was driving him on. Ever since he had confessed the
Juliet story, he had been thinking more and more about how that made him
feel. Somehow by sharing a memory that he had kept buried for years, a
desire which had been quietly smouldering in his subconscious had turned
into a small flickering flame. The night at the show had fanned the
flame into such a fire so that that when Siobhan had made her
suggestion, his head wanted to say no, but his heart had said yes. Even
as he knocked on the door he panicked, and his knees began to wobble.
She answered the door and smiled broadly when she saw him.

‘Danny, don't look so scared, I'm not going to bite you, come on in.’

He thought she looked beautiful in a long skirt and simple peasant
blouse with her hair tumbling down over her shoulders. He sighed and
forced himself to walk into the flat.

‘I've brought this,’ he said, waving the bottle around. She kissed him
on the cheek and took the bottle.

‘Thanks babe, let's go into the kitchen and open it up, you look as if
you could do with a drink while I finish the cooking.’

He followed her into the kitchen, a stunning ultra-minimalist affair,
everything seems to be concealed behind cupboard doors and nothing on
the worktops except around the cooker where Siobhan was cooking. Danny
looked around, noticing the exquisite little touches that the designer
had used.

‘It's fabulous,’ he said as Siobhan poured him a glass of wine.

‘It cost a bloody fortune, but one of Julia's exes is a designer and she
did it wholesale.’

They clinked glasses and Danny watched as Siobhan finished cooking what
looked like spaghetti vongole.

‘Christ, you don't have a shellfish allergy do you? I always forget to
ask.’

Danny shook his head, ‘No, I love shellfish.’

They ate in the kitchen. Siobhan, sending his nervousness, kept up a
stream of chatter and saw that Danny began to relax a little. They
finished the food and Siobhan packed everything away into the dishwasher
and came to sit opposite Danny.

‘OK,’ she smiled, ‘one last chance for you to run away. No? Good, let's
see what we have to work with.’

Danny's heart now started to beat faster and he let out a big breath to
try to calm himself down.

‘No need to get worried, babe. Nothing bad is going to happen, I
promise. I think you're going to enjoy this. Now what I want you to do
is to have a shower, shave yourself as closely as possible and wash your
hair with the bottle of shampoo I've left in the shower. How much hair
do you have on your body?’

‘Not much, I think, but does that matter?’

‘It might, depends on how much skin we end up showing. There's a pair of
panties on the shelf in the shower room. Put those on when you've
finished, there's a robe there as well. Come back out and we'll get
started.’

Danny was trembling by this time. Siobhan grabbed his hand and led him
through the flat to the bathroom and gently pushed him through the door.
He leant up against the door and managed to control his breathing enough
to look around him. In one corner there was a big glass shower enclosure
and a marble counter with two washbasins below a huge mirror all lit by
concealed lighting. On the counter lay a razor and shaving cream right
next to a pair of white lace panties. Danny let his hand run over the
lace and he shivered as he felt the silk beneath his fingertips.

He pulled himself together and took off his shirt, trousers and
underpants. He looked at himself in the mirror and turned sideways. He
thought, not too bad, I guess. Flat stomach, no love handles at least.
He took out the scrunchie holding his hair in its usual ponytail and
stepped under the shower. He stood under the shower, the hot water
helping him to relax as he washed his hair. He wrapped a small towel
around his hair before shaving as closely as he could and using some
moisturiser which Siobhan had left.

Danny picked up the pair of panties from the counter, hesitated for a
second before putting his feet into them and pulling them up his legs.
Think of them as a pair of Speedos, he told himself. As they settled
around his cock and balls, he closed his eyes and made a small noise in
his throat, so sensual did they make him feel. No way, he thought, did
these feel like a pair of Speedos. A robe hung from a hook also of silk
and he loved the feeling as it slid over his skin. When he pulled the
little belt tight, it fell to the top of his thighs and as he looked at
himself in the mirror one last time, he wondered what he had let himself
in for.

With his face red and feeling vulnerable, he walked out of the shower
room to find Siobhan waiting with a glass of wine in her hand.

She thought he looked sweet in the robe which barely covered anything,
his embarrassment obvious. She offered him the glass, ‘Here, have this,
I think it will help.’

Danny took the glass and had a good sip. ‘Thanks, I'm so nervous about
this.’

‘No need, babe,’ she said as she took his hand and led him through to
the bedroom. A large dressing table stood along the wall with lighting
either side of a large mirror which had been covered with a towel. The
table was covered with neatly arranged boxes of cosmetics, brushes,
pads, tissues, and makeup. Siobhan stopped me in the middle of the room.
‘OK, Danny, time to take off the robe.’

His fingers were shaking as he undid the belt and let the robe slip off
his shoulders. Siobhan looked him up and down and smiled, ‘Very nice,
Danny. I think we have something to work with. You’ve got lovely legs
and you have a nicely toned upper body, your hips are quite wide and
your shoulders aren't too big, You'll do, I think.’

‘Swimming,’ he mumbled, ‘that's what does it.’

She laughed, ‘I bet you look as good in Speedos as you do in those
panties.’

Danny blushed crimson, he had forgotten about the panties.

‘Bless you, Danny, there's no need to be shy with me.’ Easy for her to
say, he thought. ‘Well, the good news is that I don't think you have
enough hair to worry about tonight, but I would like you to shave your
legs before we meet with Peta. It will make you feel more feminine.
Let's sort your hair out first.’

She pushed him down onto a chair and pulled off the towel wrapped around
his wet hair. She ran her fingers through the hair a few times before
saying, ‘Hair isn't my speciality so for tonight I'll keep it simple,
but for the meeting we'll try something a bit more stylish.’

Danny felt Siobhan too presumptuous in assuming that he would go through
with everything, but he felt too nervous to protest. He had already
begun to feel a thrill about being in this position and he could feel
his cock beginning to stir in its little lace prison. No, he thought,
please don't let me down now, but he felt himself getting harder and he
tried everything he could think of to calm down, but nothing seemed to
work. He could only hope Siobhan wouldn't notice.

Drying Danny’s hair, Siobhan knew it wouldn't be perfect, but she
thought she could make something decent out of it. Luckily, Danny had
kept his hair conditioned, and in good shape for a man. She noticed him
squirming in the chair and guessed that he was getting excited. Men, she
thought, are merely slaves to their cocks. Wasn't it Socrates who had
said that having a penis was like being chained to a madman. The only
cock she had any interest in these days was the big black one that Julia
strapped on to fuck her with. That cock didn't worry about how big or
small it was, didn't start asking if it was better than all the other
cocks she'd ever had and stayed hard forever. She had long concluded
that men could never free themselves from their egos long enough to love
anyone fully.

She loved it when Julia finally penetrated her after a long and erotic
session of foreplay; a culmination of their mutual love in place of the
act of domination and control it seemed to be for most men. After they
both climaxed they would lay and kiss and cuddle, the cock sometimes
still inside her, in a way that men could never emulate. She had
reciprocated at times, fucking Julia with it, but she didn't get the
same enjoyment as Julia seemed to experience. They were happy that way;
Julia had always been the dominant personality, seducing Siobhan in the
first place and taking the lead in their love making.

Danny's struggle with his particular madman confirmed for her that she
had been right about him all along. From the first night when he had
confessed about Juliet, she had seen something in his eyes that told her
he had buried something deep that was yearning to come out. The show had
been pure coincidence, but Siobhan had wondered how far she could push
Danny. Now, she thought she might be able to take him all the way, to
help him experience what he clearly felt inside. She had also wondered
about Carl and Danny, there seemed to be something between them, even if
they didn't realise it themselves.

She finished drying and styling his hair. Not a bad job, she thought as
she fussed a bit with it. She would love to see it styled properly and
thought she could call in a favour or two from one of the hairdressers
she knew on the circuit.

‘OK, Danny, let's get you made up. I'm going to do something for
daytime, as if you are going to meet Peta for your business meeting. I
think we want to take attention away from your chin and nose. You have a
nice shape to your face, not at all masculine.’

Danny pulled a face.

‘Don't pout, it doesn't suit you. I’m going to use concealer for the
beard areas, although you don't seem to show too much there, it will
help. Some foundation, blusher and maybe highlighter to accentuate your
cheekbones, which are lovely by the way. Then, I'm going to bring out
those gorgeous eyes of yours with some delicate eyeshadow, nothing too
fierce, and then some mascara to highlight your eyes. Then we'll finish
off with some lipstick. With your colouring and eye colour, I think you
could be more adventurous, but for now let's keep it simple. You liked
what I did at the show, didn't you?’

He nodded, his mouth so dry he couldn't answer her.

‘OK, we're going to do something similar, but I want you to watch and
remember what I'm doing. You'll be doing this yourself soon, so pay
attention.’

Danny heard Siobhan saying something, but it didn't make any sense. He
had fallen almost in a trance, and her words hit his ears as a jumble of
sounds. But he knew he needed to ask her something before they went on.
‘Siobhan, why are you doing this?’

She stopped talking and looked down at him. He looked to her like a
scared child, his eyes wide, wanting to ask a question but not wanting
to hear the answer.

‘Danny,’ she said gently, ‘if you don't want to go through with this,
all you have to do is tell me. It would be our secret. Nobody else will
ever know.’

‘No, I understand that, but why are you doing this?’

She sighed, ‘I like you Danny. I think you are one of the nicest people
I have met in a long time, and I think I can help you. Not only with
your work, but with something I believe you want, or need, to do deep
down inside. I want to give you your chance to see what that feels
like.’ She paused, but as he didn't say anything, she went on.
‘Honestly, babe, if you want me to stop, tell me and we’ll go no
further.’

This is it, thought Danny, all I have to do is stand up, and it's over.
But, if I don't, then God knows what will happen.

He paused for a second, a voice in his head screaming at him to leave,
before shaking his head, ‘No, no, let's go on.’

Siobhan smiled, ‘OK, babe, onwards and upwards.’ She pulled a plastic
smock around him and fastened it the neck. The cold plastic made him
shiver as it slid across his skin. She pulled his hair back carefully
with a makeup band and sat down opposite him.

She worked carefully, this was makeup 101 for her, but she talked to
Danny though the whole process, telling him exactly what she was doing
and why. Siobhan reasoned that if he knew what was happening, then he
would calm down a little, and she did want him to be able to do this by
himself. Nothing she would do tonight would be irreversible, so she
wouldn't pluck his eyebrows for now, but if he did go for it, there were
some changes she would love to make that he couldn't hide so easily.
She took her time, making sure that Danny understood each step. She
could sense him relax at last, his breathing had slowed down, his eyes
followed her every move, and he began to ask questions, which had to be
a good sign. She smiled to herself as she thought that she had been
right all along, there was something inside Danny that she would help to
release.

Danny became entranced by what Siobhan was doing to him. She explained
everything patiently and carefully and although she said he could do
this himself he thought he could never imagine him doing this. He began
to ask her questions as she worked and he began to like this feeling of
being pampered. Siobhan eventually announced herself happy with the
makeup and it was time to move on. She unclipped the cape and asked him
to stand up. Siobhan had covered the mirrors in the room so he couldn't
see what she had done yet, but his tongue slipped along his lips and he
could taste and feel the lip gloss she had used. It felt odd, but not
unpleasant. He wondered what it would be like to kiss someone wearing
lipstick. God, he thought, where did that come from? He wasn't going to
be doing that for sure.

Siobhan had laid out three dresses earlier that she thought might suit
him; a two-piece suit in coral pink, a dark blue dress with a
contrasting loose jacket, and a dark skirt and white blouse combo. As a
professional clothes horse, Julia always had clothes from modelling
assignments and there were dozens of outfits that she could have chosen.
She thought that these would also be closest to fitting Danny. All of
them were a little demure, but she thought that would be safer for him
to start with.

‘OK, Danny, firstly, let's get you into some stockings. I guess you know
how to put these on from your Juliet days.’ she said.

He nodded, struck dumb by the thought of what was to come. Siobhan
handed him a packet saying, ‘These are holdups, I hate tights
personally, these are much more exciting, don't you think?’

Danny swallowed, recalling how much he loved to see Jess in stockings,
but she used to wear a suspender belt as well. He sat on the edge of the
chair and took each stocking as Siobhan handed the to him. He remembered
he had to roll them into a doughnut shape and then pull them up his leg.
The feeling of the nylon sliding up his leg nearly undid him, but he
managed to get both on without disgracing himself. Siobhan watched him,
smiling as she realised how he felt. The more it excited him, she
thought, the more he would go on. She had him stand up and the
stockings, as they always did, enhanced his legs and made them look
longer.

‘Now for your bra,’ she announced, having concealed it behind her back
for a moment.

‘Oh,’ he stuttered, ‘Do we have to, I mean, can't we do without?’

Siobhan fixed him with her eyes. She had known he was quite submissive,
he would hardly have gone this far if he wasn't. ‘Yes, Danny, I want you
to wear it. It will help you to feel like a woman, and if you feel
feminine, then it will be easier to act like it.’

Danny took the offered wispy piece of material, which matched the
panties. By the way he looked at it he obviously didn't know how to put
it on.

‘Put in back to front and then swivel it round and put your arms through
the straps.’ Siobhan told him.

With trembling fingers, Danny managed to put it on and get it the right
way round. He felt the bra tighten across his chest and the straps
across his shoulders. He shivered, but he thought it felt so erotic.

‘But I have nothing to put in it.’ he whimpered.

‘Look use these for now, I’ll sort something else out for when we see
Peta.’ She handed him some tissues, and they managed to fill the bra
out, although it looked odd. A surge of emotions flooded through Danny
as he stood there in the lingerie and stockings. It felt so exciting to
be dressed like this and he felt his movements change somehow, more
fluid, softer, gentler, less masculine, more feminine. His eyes sparkled
as he turned to Siobhan.

‘I feel so different, it's incredible.’

She smiled, ‘Welcome to femininity, Danny. Be careful it's addictive.’

She picked up the three outfits and held them up against Danny. She
finally chose the dress she thought would suit his colour best. She
unzipped the back and bunched it up in her hands and slipped it over
Danny’s head. It slid down over his shoulders and he wiggled as it fell
done to his knees. She quickly zipped it up and although it hung a
little loose and tad too long, she could get it tailored for him the
next day. She knew this would be the one for him to wear to the
interview.

She had him turn round and made a few adjustments to the dress and his
hair before standing back and looking him up and down.

‘I do declare that my new girlfriend is ready to see herself.’

Danny felt himself blush at the words, but he felt a delicious tingle at
the same time. He surprised himself to be so excited and impatient to
see what he looked like. Siobhan led him across to the full-length
mirror and paused before she took away the sheet hanging over it.

‘OK, Danny my girl, remember our agreement, if this looks good, you will
go to the interview, right?’

Danny couldn't quite remember making that firm an agreement, but he had
become too excited and nervous he would agree to anything.

‘Sure, I mean, yes.’ he blurted out.

‘Shoes,’ shouted Siobhan making Danny jump. ‘I forgot shoes.’ She opened
a cupboard door to reveal racks of shoes floor to ceiling. She grabbed a
pair and asked Danny to sit down. ‘I'm guessing you're not too different
from Julia, she has large feet, but don't tell her I said so.’ She had
picked out a pair of black ankle boots with a solid heel which should be
easier for him to begin with. She took his foot and slid it into the
boot. It seemed to fit, so she slipped the other one on as well.
‘Let's see if you can stand up, be careful it might feel awkward to
start with.’ She held his hand as he stood up, and then almost fell over
as she let go of his hand.

‘God, it's like learning to ride a bike all over again.’

‘But these will make you feel much nicer than a bike, believe me.’

Still wobbling she led him to the mirror and this time she asked him to
close his eyes. A few seconds later she said, ‘You can open them now.’

He hesitated, fearful of what he might see. He opened one eye a fraction
and then both snapped open as he saw his reflection. He stood there
unable to speak at first, his eyes darting from one point to another.
It had to be him as the figure moved when he did, but he looked like
someone else entirely. Reflected in the mirror appeared to be a woman in
a dress and makeup, her hair in an unmistakably feminine style, her legs
encased in shimmering nylon and a pair of dainty boots on her feet. His
hand darted to his face as he saw how his eyes stood out in a way he
could never have imagined.

‘Oh my God, Siobhan, how did you do this, I can't believe it.’

‘I only enhanced what’s there, Danny, this is you, absolutely all you.’

He turned to look at her, his eyes glistening, almost on the brink of
tears.

‘Do you like it?’ she said.

‘Oh yes, I do, but it's still hard to believe.’

He turned from side to side, entranced by what he saw. Siobhan smiled as
she watched, she pictured a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis,
unfolding its multi coloured wings and turning into a beautiful new
creature.

‘So, Danny. Will you be going to the interview?’

Danny looked at her with wide eyes, still in shock from what he had
seen. ‘Do you honestly think I can?’

Siobhan came and stood beside Danny, put her arms around him and said,
‘On my life, Danny, sure you can.’

Danny’s mind reeled, never in his wildest dreams would he have thought
he would look, or feel like this. That flame which had been lit inside
him had become a bonfire, overwhelming him with the emotions it was
creating.

He turned to Siobhan, his eyes shining, ‘Yes, I will, if you'll help
me.’

‘Of course, I will, Danny. Let's call that enough for today, shall we?
The last thing we need to do is teach you how to clean off your makeup.
It's fun to put it on and wear it, but it's even more important to take
it off properly and to moisturise your skin.’

Siobhan patiently took Danny through how to cleanse his makeup fully and
to apply moisturiser. She packed him off to his apartment with
instructions to have a proper bath and shave closely, not just his face
this time but his legs and chest as well, ready for the next morning.
Danny was still in a daze as he went back to his apartment and fell into
his bed. He lay awake for a while, thinking of what he had felt as
Siobhan had dressed him and his fingers inevitably fund their way to his
cock which stiffened as soon as he touched it. A few seconds later his
climax burst from him in a way that he had not experienced for a very
long time.

Chapter Eight

The next morning Danny walked up to Siobhan’s apartment, his heart
pounding not with trepidation this time, but with anticipation. Siobhan
opened the door and ushered him inside. She stroked his face with her
fingers. ‘Mmm, feels smooth, did you do the rest as well?’

He nodded, ‘Yes, but here wasn't much there to be honest.’

‘Trust me Danny, you’ll feel the difference shortly. I want you to put
on what I've laid out for you and I’ll see you back out here when you're
done.’

He went into the dressing room and found a new set of underwear, fresh
stockings and a new dress this time on canary yellow. His fingers began
to tremble as he pulled the panties up over his legs and he closed his
eyes when they reached the top and cradled his cock and balls. He pulled
the stockings from their packet, this time they were white and he
quickly rolled one and began to slide it up his leg. The sensation as it
slid across his newly shaved skin was almost more than he could bear. He
moaned out loud as he pulled the second one on and had to steady himself
as his legs turned to jelly.

He gathered himself together and managed to fit the bra, and after
adjusting it he also managed to slip the dress over his head with only a
little difficulty. He realised he didn't have any tissues to stuff the
bra and was about to come out of the dressing room when he heard the
bell ring.

‘Shit,’ he thought, ‘Don't tell me she's got visitors. They can't see me
like this.’

He heard the door close and then Siobhan called out, ‘Are you ready
yet?’

He squeezed open the door and whispered, ‘Is there anyone there?’

‘No, you fool, it was a delivery.’

‘Oh, OK, I'm coming out.’

You sure are, thought Siobhan.

He emerged from the room, looking shy, but Siobhan thought he looked
sweet in the brightly coloured dress.

‘I have a surprise for you, Danny. Close your eyes and hold out your
hands.’

He did as she asked and he felt something heavy and wobbly drop into his
hands.

‘Open your eyes now.’

He looked down to see he was holding see two flesh coloured objects.
He stared quizzically at Siobhan.

‘Look, you couldn't be wearing a bra stuffed with tissues all the time
could you? They’re breast forms, good ones too. I had them overnight
delivery.’

He suddenly felt a little afraid, this sounded a lot more serious.

‘Don't look so scared, Danny. They are fixed with some adhesive which
holds them in place but they come off quite easily. You’ll love them.’
He wasn't convinced, but he had trusted Siobhan this far, so he said,
‘OK. But can I try them without the glue first?’

She grinned, ‘OK, scaredy cat.’

He took the dress off, and Siobhan slipped them into the bra cups and he
immediately felt the extra weight tug on the straps and he had to lean
slightly backwards to compensate.

‘Wow, they’re heavy.’ he said.

‘Not everything about being a woman is grand, Danny.’

She helped him put the dress back on and smoothed down everything. He
looked down to see two mounds protruding from his chest. He couldn't
help but put his hands up to them and jiggle them around. Siobhan
snorted, ‘It's better when someone else does that, you know.’

Danny went bright pink and thought, well no-one is ever going to touch
these. Siobhan guessed what he was thinking and smiled to herself.

Siobhan said, ‘I have a job today. It won't take long, it’s a film star,
she always asks for me when she's in town for interviews. It's good
money, but she fancies me, so I have to flirt with her. I think she
would run miles if I went any further, but I get a better tip if I let
her stroke my leg a bit. I’m going to do your makeup, and I’ll video as
I do it. Whilst I’m gone I want you to clean it off, watch the video and
try it. Don't worry if it goes wrong, clean it off and do it again. I’ve
put a pair of shoes out with a higher heel, I want you to practise in
those as well. I think you’ll cope after how well you did yesterday.’

Siobhan set up a small camera so that she could film the makeup for
Danny as well and record what she was saying. Danny was now enjoying the
whole makeup ritual and especially how it made him look and feel when it
was finished. He didn't think he would get tired of seeing the
transformation into his new persona. The feeling of lipstick on his
lips, the sight of his eyes coloured and with mascara on his eyelids, it
all entranced him. He wasn't exactly sure why Siobhan insisted he learnt
to do it himself, but he was so in love with what he did, he went along
with it.

She finished, showed Danny how to view the film and gave him his new
shoes before she left, promising to be back in a couple of hours. Danny
decided to try the shoes first before redoing his makeup. The shoes
fitted well enough, but they were higher than the ones he had worn
yesterday, so he had to hold onto the wall to steady himself as he tried
to stand up. Shit, he thought, I'm going to break my ankles on these.
How the hell do women walk in these. They obviously did, he reasoned, so
if they can, he could.

He found with the extra height on the heels and the weight of his new
breasts, he had to adjust his posture. The breasts pulled him forwards a
little, and the heels made him stand up straighter and forced him to
walk on his toes more. Gradually he gained confidence, and by taking
shorter steps and putting one foot in front of another he was able to
walk a few steps without feeling like Bambi on ice. About an hour later
he thought that's enough, I’ll try that again later. What he had loved
was the feeling of his stockinged legs rubbing against each other as he
walked. He thought he would set up the camera and have a go at his
makeup.

He managed one go at it and it was a disaster, nothing was straight and
everything looked as if it had been put on with a trowel. Patiently, he
cleaned it off and tried again. Better this time, not great but a big
improvement. He sighed and did it all over again, pausing the film at
different spots to catch up on what Siobhan was saying. By the end of
the third go, he was tired but much happier with the result. He glanced
at the clock and was surprised to see it was nearly three hours since
Siobhan had left. He thought he would practice in the heels once more
and this time, he was walking a lot more confidently. He tried a few
turns which went well enough, so he was feeling pretty pleased with
himself.

The bell went and Danny thought, that's strange, Siobhan must have
forgotten her key. He thought he would surprise her with his skill in
the heels so he walked over to the door and opened it to find a young
man standing there.

‘Hello, Miss, I’ve come to service your boiler.’ he waved an ID card
under Danny’s nose.

Not for the first time in the last few days, Danny thought he would
faint.

‘Er, OK.’

‘Don't worry Miss, I know where it is. I've done this one before. Make
us a cup of tea will you love? I’m parched. Haven't had a cup for
hours.’

He moved past her into the flat and all Danny could do was close the
door and totter off after him.

‘Where’s the redhead girl lives here? Irish name, can't remember it
myself. You a friend?’

Danny nodded and started opening cupboards at random to find a kettle
and mugs.

“I'm Sam, by the way, pleased to meet you. You’re…’

‘Oh, Danny,’ Danny tried to soften his voice as much as he could, but he
thought it sounded odd.

‘Kettles over there in that cupboard, Danny, told you I've been here
before. Have you got a cold? You sound a bit throaty.’

He must think my voice sounds like I’m ill, thought Danny.

‘Er, yeah, bad cold, just getting over it.’ Danny faked a cough.

‘Two sugars please Danny, and milk.’

Dann had finally found the mugs and the sugar and plugged the kettle in.
He needed a stronger drink than tea but that would have to do for now.
Sam was laying out sheets to protect the work tops and wouldn't stop
talking, but most importantly, he didn't seem to notice anything strange
about Danny.

‘What do you do Danny?’ Sam now had the boiler panel off and was digging
around inside.

‘Graphic designer, books and magazines.’ Danny was getting a bit more
confident now as Sam had not yet screamed that he was a bloke dressed in
women's’ clothes.

‘Nice, anything I might have seen?’ Sam took the tea from Danny and
stirred the sugar into it.

‘Woman’s stuff mostly, so probably not.’

‘My girl reads all that stuff, Vogue is it?’

‘Yes that's right.’

Suddenly Sam seemed to be looking at him more closely than when he first
came in and Danny’s heart sank, thinking he had been made.

‘Look Miss, I hope you don't mind me saying something personal.’

Oh God here it comes, thought Danny. Please, please don’t make too much
of a fuss.

Sam went on without waiting for an answer. ‘You have the most beautiful
eyes I have seen in a long time. You should be a model, I say, just like
that other girl here, Jools, I think it is.’

‘Well said, I agree.’ Siobhan's voice made them both jump. ‘You left the
door on the latch, happens sometimes if you don't close it properly.
Sorry for being late, I had to do some extras for the client.’ She saw
the look on Danny’s face, ‘No, not like that you dirty minded minx.’
She turned to Sam who appeared to be finishing and packing his gear up.
‘Has Danny been looking after you alright?’

‘Yeah no problem Miss, but she should take care of that cold she's got.’
Siobhan looked puzzled and glanced at Danny who coughed theatrically.
She laughed realising what had happened. ‘Oh yes, I’ll make sure she
rubs something on her chest.’

Danny glared at her but Sam laughed. ‘Good one, Miss.’ He was still
laughing as he went out the door.

Danny collapsed onto a chair and Siobhan was trying and failing to stop
laughing. ‘I'm so sorry, Danny, didn't you get my texts?’

Danny slapped his forehead. ‘Damn, I must have left my phone downstairs
this morning.’

‘That's your first official blonde moment.’

Danny laughed, ‘Honestly, I thought I would wet myself when I opened the
door thinking it was you, and laughing boy stood there. God, I need a
drink, and not more tea.’

Siobhan opened a bottle of wine and poured them a glass each. ‘Well I
have to say, you did pretty well for your first unscheduled public
performance. Sam seemed very struck with you.’

‘Probably left his glasses in the van,’ giggled Danny.

They touched glasses and Siobhan looked at Danny closely, ‘I thought I
asked you to redo your makeup?’

‘I did, this is the third attempt.’

Siobhan raised an eyebrow, ‘You're not telling your Aunty Siobhan any
little white lies are you?’

‘No, honestly, you can check the waste bin for the cleaning pads, I must
have used a year's supply.’

‘I'm impressed my padawan. You have learnt well.’

Danny giggled, ‘All thanks to my Jedi Master.’

‘And don't you forget it. Now how about the walking?’

Danny stood up and walked up and down a few times. ‘Good, good, Danny,
we’ll tackle stairs tomorrow.’

‘Why were you late back?’

Siobhan sighed, ‘Sorry about that. First of all, she was late.
Something, or someone had put the moody cow in a foul temper. She was
shouting at everyone, me included. I don't mind, comes with the
territory. She tried it on with me as usual. “Come closer, what lovely
legs you have, can I just touch them? Oh your hair is so nice, it would
look lovely on my pillow.” And on, and on. She grabbed my bum this time
as well, which I wasn't keen on. She then said she didn't like what I
had done and made me redo it. She made me wait around until she had
finished the interviews and then stormed back in because someone had
asked her if roles were getting more difficult to get at her age. She
knew she’d pissed me off, so she gave me an extra big tip, or at least
made her poor bloody P.A. give it to me. She insisted on giving me a
goodbye kiss on the lips as I left. Still, it pays the rent.’

Danny was laughing hard by the time she finished.

‘OK, OK, it is kind of funny. But now I get my own back, I’m going to do
your eyebrows.’

Danny stopped laughing. ‘Do you have to? It sounds painful.’

‘Danny, Cara Delevigne can get away with it, but you can’t. I will thin
them out a little and maybe give them some shape. It won't be radical. I
promise.’

Danny was right, it was painful, but only for a few seconds each time.
When Siobhan let him see, he liked what she had done. They were thinner
than before, and a gentle shape to them made all the difference.

‘See, you should trust me. Now for something nice, I’m going to do your
nails. This is one thing that will make you feel so much better. Nails
are important, if they're done well, they tell everyone a lot about you,
and the colour you choose gives its own signals as well. I'm going to
complement the colour of the lipstick I want you to wear, there's a MAC
lip colour which will be perfect for you. So, I think we’ll stick with
MAC, how about this? Impassioned.’

Siobhan showed Danny the colour and he nodded, he would have done
anything she suggested right now, he was so completely under her spell.
He was entranced as she cleaned up his nails, they weren't long but just
tidying them up made them look better. It was when Siobhan started to
brush on the colour that Danny began to feel a tingle of pleasure in
what she was doing. To see his nails transformed by the colour was
almost magical to him.

He didn't comprehend what was happening to him, but he felt so different
now. He was being swept away by emotions and feelings that were now
bursting to the surface from where they had lain sleeping until Siobhan
had woken them. He stared at his nails, the most visible element of his
transition that he could see, and he knew he wanted this to go on and
on. He wondered how he would feel about having to go back to being Danny
again after this was over, but that was for another day. Tonight, he
revelled in what was happening to him.

As his nails dried, Siobhan suggested they order a takeaway for tonight.
Danny readily agreed, he hadn't eaten since breakfast and that was just
toast. The agreed on Chinese, so Siobhan rang the order and she opened
another bottle of wine. She made Danny open the door when the delivery
arrived, and to his great surprise he got a lovely smile from the
delivery boy.

‘I'll have to keep an eye on you, my girl, the boys like you.’
Danny laughed, but he felt a tremor run through him at Siobhan's words.
They had a lovely girly evening as Siobhan called it, and Danny felt
himself slipping further and further into this new persona. It was
becoming harder and harder for him to think about being Danny. Whoever
this new person was, he knew he liked it more with every passing second.
The evening had to come to an end and as Danny cleaned off his makeup,
he knew he couldn't wait for the next day to come.

Chapter Nine

Wednesday passed in a blur for Danny. Siobhan made him put on his makeup
without the film to help him. He did it once and then she made him do it
again before she accepted he could do the basics without making a mess
of it. Secretly he had impressed her, he wanted to get it right, and she
thought his design sense gave him an interest in getting it right.
The rest of the day involved more and more practise; walking, sitting,
and how women behave and act differently from men. Siobhan had never
thought too hard about what she did naturally, so it came as a challenge
when she had to teach Danny. He learnt quickly, but it would take more
than a couple of days to train out his male habits. At the end of the
day, he could at least walk in the heels, sit properly, and move and
behave more like a woman. She thought he might be able to carry it off
if he didn't panic too much, and she would be with him. Wednesday
evening arrived and as they shared a glass of wine, Siobhan said,
‘Right, it's graduation time for you. We’re going out tonight for
dinner.’

Danny went pale, and he almost fell over. ‘What? No, I can't do it, I'm
not ready.’

‘Tomorrow, we’re going to go up to Soho and I want you to go out tonight
with me so you’ll know what it feels like. We won't go far, there's a
gay friendly place round the corner. We can walk there and no-one will
be the wiser, I promise you.’

‘What if someone recognises me?’

‘Danni, look at yourself in the mirror, your own mother wouldn't
recognise you, so there's no chance anyone else would. Do you trust me?’

He nodded, still aghast at the thought of going outside.

‘Well, if I say it's going to be OK, do you believe me?’
He nodded again.

‘So, get your heels back on, girlfriend. We’re going out.’

It was only a short walk to the bar and restaurant that Siobhan knew,
but it was a walk of terror for Danny. He kept his eyes fixed on the
ground all the way there and he scurried in after Siobhan. They greeted
Siobhan as an old friend, and she introduced Danny as a new friend of
her and Julia’s. They were shown to a table and Danny remembered to
smooth out his skirt as he sat down. Siobhan nodded in approval and
said, ‘There, that wasn't so bad, was it?’

‘Apart from the fact that I’m seconds away from having a nervous
breakdown, no.’

Siobhan laughed, ‘Come off it, you did great. You look great, it's
confidence that makes the difference. Try to relax and we can enjoy
ourselves.’

People in the restaurant took no notice of them, most were too intent on
impressing the person they were with to worry about anybody else. Danny
began to relax slowly, but he gave himself a shock when he picked up his
wine glass and saw his newly painted nails wrapped around the stem.
Siobhan noticed him looking and said, ‘That's why being a woman is so
much fun, wearing lovely clothes and makeup. You’ll love it, I promise.’
‘Siobhan, can I ask you something? Something personal?’

‘Hey you can ask. If I don't want to answer I won’t, but go ahead.’

their‘What was it like the first time you and Julia, you know…’

She laughed, ‘You have to be more specific babe. Kissed? Held hands?
Went shopping? Shagged each other?’

Danny's face went bright red. ‘I mean, Julia knew she’s gay, but it was
the first time for you, right?’

‘Well, I didn't over-think it for sure. I knew Julia was into girls, and
when she asked me out for a drink after a show, I wondered if something
would happen. I liked her, but I had never even kissed a girl before. We
ended up getting a bit drunk, and when she kissed me outside the bar all
I thought was, this feels nice. It just seemed right and we ended up in
bed together. Julia knew what to do, and I followed her lead. Some of
what we did was an eye-opener for me, but it felt so good. We never
looked back from there. Why did you ask?’

‘Oh, just curious, that's all.’

Liar, thought Siobhan, but she kept it to herself.

Danny began to chill out as the wine went down and when the time to
leave arrived, he felt so much more at ease with himself. He enjoyed the
evening with Siobhan; having a night out with a girlfriend was different
to having a night with mates. They talked about everything, from makeup
to politics to sex. Danny shared some of the stories about Jess and the
games they had played which merely reinforced in Siobhan’s mind that she
had been totally right about Danny.

By the end of the evening Danny felt relaxed and happy. As they walked
back, Siobhan hooked her arm into Danny’s and they strolled back looking
for all the world as two girlfriends on their back from a night out. As
they turned a corner, a man almost walked into Danny. He froze,
expecting exposure and a torrent of abuse. Instead, the man smiled and
said, ‘I’m sorry, I should have looked where I was going. Hope you're
OK.’

Siobhan giggled as Danny let out a huge sigh of relief. ‘See, you’ll be
alright, Danny. I promise you.’

At the door Siobhan said, ‘Go and take off your makeup like I showed
you. Get a good night's sleep and I’ll see you in the morning.’ She
kissed him on the cheek and Danny said, ‘Siobhan, I don't know why
you're doing this for me, but I am so glad you are. I can't thank you
enough. See you in the morning and thank you again.’

‘You're welcome Danny, goodnight.’

She watched him close the door and tried to answer that question for
herself. Why was she doing it? She shrugged, it had seemed like a
harmless little game to her at first, but she could have stopped a long
while ago. She now wanted to see how far Danny would let her take him.
Julia always said she didn't always think through the games she liked to
play.

Chapter Ten

Danny slept fitfully, worrying about the next day, but at some point he
fell asleep and it was already late when he woke. A quick cup of coffee
followed his shower and a close shave. He headed upstairs to find
Siobhan looking radiant.

‘OK, Danny get your war paint on, then we’ll get you dressed.’
Danny did a passable job on his makeup and Siobhan did a little repair
here and there but she was happy enough. Siobhan laid out fresh lingerie
and stockings for him. He got changed in front of her, no longer shy
about doing so. She stopped him before he put the bra on and said, ‘I
want to make sure those don't slip today.’

She produced a can and sprayed something onto Danny's chest.

‘It's just an adhesive to make sure they stay in place.’

She saw the look on Danny's face and said, ‘Don't worry it comes off
easily enough, so it says on the can, anyway.’

She took each form in turn and placed it on his chest and even Danny had
to admit to himself that it felt better than merely slipping them into
the bra cups. He put the bra on and fitted the forms into it and felt
with a delicious tingle that now familiar tug on the straps. Siobhan
handed him the dress that she had collected from the local tailor and it
fitted him perfectly. He slipped on his heels and stood up in front of
Siobhan and even did a twirl in front of her. ‘Will I do?’

She laughed and said, ‘You’ll do fine, remember what we’ve done and
it’ll go swimmingly, mark my words.’

They took the tube to Soho where the charity was based in an office
above a massage parlour. At this time of day, they found a carriage
only half full, so they were able to grab two seats together. Danny made
sure to keep his knees firmly together, but couldn't stop his heart
beating like a steam hammer and several times felt close to fainting. He
kept his eyes to the floor, trying desperately not to make eye contact
with anyone. He was sure that if he did, they would leap up and shout,
‘That's a man dressed as a woman.’ No-one did, of course. He had
forgotten that on the underground, everybody tries to avoid eye contact,
believing themselves safe inside their own bubble of personal space.
Siobhan nudged him as they reached their station and Danny stood,
gripping his portfolio case tight. His heart beating so hard he thought
other people could hear it, he followed Siobhan up the escalators into
the Soho sunlight.

It was the first warm day of the year, and the Underground had been
stifling, and as he stepped out of the station, he felt the fresh breeze
around his legs and he thought, that’s one good thing about wearing a
skirt, it keeps you cool. They walked down the street, Danny treading
carefully on his heels. He was getting used to them, but he still feared
putting his foot down awkwardly and falling over. Siobhan smiled to
herself as she watched him from the corner of her eye. She knew he was
nervous, but he was doing well. If he could find some more confidence,
he would have few problems passing as a woman with some more practice.

They walked up the stairs to the charity office, Danny hanging onto the
rail for support and he hesitated outside the door. He still had time to
turn back, he thought. Siobhan looked at him and nodded, understanding
his feeling. He blew out his cheeks, sucked in a deep breath and walked
through the door. Siobhan followed and asked the receptionist to let
Peta know that she and Danny had arrived for a meeting.

Siobhan spelled out her name to the receptionist, and Danny thought she
probably had to do that a lot with her name. She paused, looked at Danny
and held his eye as she followed up with ‘and this is D A N N I.’

He hadn't thought about his name and he was astounded Siobhan had. He
smiled at her and whispered ‘Thank you, I like that.’ Siobhan grinned
and they sat down to wait for Peta. A few minutes later Peta emerged
from behind reception and squealed as she saw Danny. She rushed over and
threw her arms around him with a huge hug.

‘Danni, it's so good to see you. You look gorgeous. Let me have a good
look at you.’ She held onto his hands and took a step back, ‘Wow, you
look great, I love that dress, it really suits you.’ She turned to
Siobhan and drew her into a hug too. ‘Siobhan, I haven't had a chance to
say thank you to you and Julia for all the work you did for the show. It
went so well and we had a great result, so many positive reviews. My
phone has been ringing off the hook. Anyway, come on through.’

Peta held on to Danny’s hand as they walked into a meeting room behind
the reception area. They sat for a few minutes sipping water and
chatting about the show and the coverage the charity had received.
‘It means it's even more important to find a new designer fast, Danni.
There's a lot of work coming up following the visibility the show gave
us. By the way, I love your name, Danni. cute to make it a diminutive of
your old name.’ Danny caught sight of Siobhan smiling broadly just out
of Peta’s eyesight.

‘Thanks,’ said Danny, ‘makes it easier to remember.’

‘Exactly, I did the same when I transitioned. Peter became Peta. So, are
you dressing full-time now Danni?’

‘Er, pretty much.’ Danny said, trying to keep his voice soft and low. ‘I
need to expand my wardrobe though.’

‘I know, I know,’ said Peta, ‘but you’ve got some good contacts with
Julia I guess.’

Danny looked at Siobhan who jumped in, ‘Yes, Julia gets tons of stuff,
our flat is overflowing.’

‘Anyway, Danni, I think Siobhan told you we like to keep our business
within the TG community, if we can. Nobody understands us better than
ourselves, right?’

‘For sure, Peta, I agree and thank you for giving me the opportunity to
show you my work.’

‘Well when Siobhan said you were a designer and about to transition, I
thought it's a sign. Have you brought your portfolio?’

Danny opened his portfolio case and his iPad, on which he had stored his
digital stuff. He felt more comfortable now they were onto his work, but
it still shocked him to see his pink nails as he flipped through his
presentation on the iPad. Peta seemed to be responding positively to his
designs and even Siobhan looked impressed.

‘OK, Danni, that's enough I think.’ said Peta, ‘You’ve got some great
work there especially the digital stuff. If you're happy then so am I.
It would be great to work with such a talented designer and for you to
be TG, well that's the icing on the cake for me. When can you start?’
‘Well, whenever you want Peta, I have some projects I’m working on, but
I’m happy to take on what you can give me.’

‘Excellent, I think Siobhan told you we don't have a lot of money, but
I’m sure the visibility you’ll get with us will be priceless I think. We
are getting so much coverage at the moment.’

Danny smiled, ‘Peta, if you’ll have me I would love to work with you.’
Siobhan was grinning her head off.

‘So that's agreed,’ said Peta, ‘by the way, was that your boyfriend you
were with at the fashion show, Danni?’

Danny opened his mouth to say no, but Siobhan beat him to it.

‘Yes, that's Carl, they live in the flat below Julia and me.’

Peta beamed at them both, ‘That's great, look, here's an idea, we've got
a press party on Saturday night, why don't you and Carl come along? You
can meet the rest of the team and we can introduce you to the press, it
would perfect. Please say you can come, Danni.’

Danny was horrified, how had he got himself into this mess? He said, ‘I
don't know, I’ll have to check.’

Siobhan said, ‘Don't you remember Danni? That party we were invited to
has been cancelled, of course you and Carl can go.’

Danny glared at Siobhan, what the hell was she talking about?

Peta stood up, ‘I'm sorry Danni, but I have to take another meeting.
We’re trying to influence the Government to take more action against
hate crimes. There’s been an upswing in attacks recently and the police
aren't doing anywhere near enough to stop them. It's been great to meet
you and I look forward to working with you. Oh, and don't forget,
Saturday night, you and Carl, I look forward to seeing you both there,
you make a lovely couple.’

Siobhan said, ‘Oh they won't forget, they’ll be there Peta.’

Peta leant forward and kissed Danny on the cheek, ‘You look great,’ she
said, ‘Carl’s a lucky guy.’

Danny opened his mouth to confess everything, but all he said was,
‘Thanks Peta.’

They left the office and Danny managed to get down the stairs in his
heels without falling over. As soon as they were out of the office, he
grabbed Siobhan and hissed at her, ‘What was all that with Carl and I
going to the party? I can't do that.’

She smiled and said, ‘Well, I thought that went well, don't you?’

‘Yes, well, I guess it did, but this thing about Carl being my
boyfriend, where did that come from?’

She took his elbow and guided him towards a nearby restaurant. ‘Let's go
celebrate with a glass of Prosecco, shall we? We can talk then.’

Chapter Eleven

Danny was still fuming but he couldn't have a row with Siobhan in the
street, so he followed her into the restaurant. Siobhan managed to get a
quiet table in a booth at the back and she slid in and waited for Danny
to do the same.

He stood there looking embarrassed until Siobhan asked, ‘What's up?’

‘I drank too much coffee, I need the toilet.’

Siobhan stifled a laugh with a cough and said, ‘OK, I’ll come with you,
girls go the toilet together all the time.’

He looked horrified, ‘I can't go to the ladies.’

‘Well, Danni with an i, you can't go to the gents like that, can you?’

Siobhan thought he was going to faint as she grabbed his arm and
virtually frog marched him into the ladies. Luckily, it was still early,
and they were alone inside. Siobhan shoved him into the cubicle and
stood guard while he finished what he had to do. Danny emerged with his
face as a red as a beetroot, and Siobhan told him to fix his lipstick
while waiting for her. He felt his hands trembling, but he managed to
reapply hisI lipstick without getting it on his teeth. Siobhan joined
him and she smiled at him in the wall mirror.

‘Wasn't so terrifying was it?’

He shook his head, ‘Only because you’re with me.’

The door opened, and a couple of women walked in chatting, took a quick
look at Danny and Siobhan and then resumed their conversation. Danny
scuttled out as fast as he could and Siobhan followed at a more
leisurely pace.

Siobhan ordered a bottle of Prosecco and after the waiter had poured
their glasses Siobhan touched glasses with Danny and said, ‘Well done
Danny, you did so well today. Peta is totally sold on you. To be honest,
I think she might have a little crush on you.’

Danny moaned softly. ‘No, that can't be, surely? Oh my God, what have I
got myself into? What am I going to do?’

‘Look, there’s nothing to worry about, is there? You did so well, even
in the toilet, the women didn't bat an eyelid, did they?’

‘No, I guess not, but Peta expects me to turn up on Saturday with Carl,
what about that?’ He began to whimper, ‘I’ll have to come clean with
Peta, call the whole thing off.’

Siobhan grabbed Danny’s hands and held them tightly. ‘Look at me, Danny,
I won't let you do that. You’ve put too much effort into this to crap
out at the first small hurdle. You can do this.’

Danny snorted, ‘Small hurdle? Yes, that would be my flatmate being my
boyfriend, only he’s not gay, and he doesn't know he’s my boyfriend. Is
that the small hurdle?’

Siobhan almost said something, but bit it back at the last moment.
‘Danni, all you have to on Saturday is to tell Peta that Carl has been
called away on business, and you’ll be coming on your own. These things
happen all the time. She will be too busy with the press to worry about
Carl not turning up. Now, take a deep breath and relax. You've got some
new work and the chance to be part of something big. Have some more
Prosecco and cheer up, for God’s sake.’

Danny looked startled, and then began to giggle, ‘I’m sorry, you're
right. I'm behaving like a wuss.’

He touched her glass with his and said, ‘I also need to thank you,
Siobhan. You have done all this for me and you've been awesome. Thank
you so much.’

‘You're welcome Danny, it's been a blast, and I meant it, you've done
fantastically well. You're a natural. Are you sure you didn't dress any
more after the Juliet thing?’

He shook his head, ‘No. the other night was the first time I had even
told anyone about it.’

‘How do you feel about what we’ve done now?’

He thought for a moment, ‘I guess I shouldn't admit this, but in the
small moments between being completely terrified, I’m beginning to enjoy
myself a bit. Does that make me a freak?’

Siobhan laughed, ‘God no. There are millions of men out there who wear
their wives’ or girlfriends’ clothes when they can. Anyway, who wouldn't
want to wear pretty underwear and clothes, and put on makeup?’

Danny laughed, ‘I feel so different when I'm dressed.’

‘Different, how?’

‘It’s difficult to describe, but I feel calmer, softer, gentler maybe,
more at ease with myself. I felt the same way I did as Juliet, it's like
I’m living out another part of my personality. But it’s exciting too.
Not sexually, I mean, although it's so thrilling to be dressed like
this. I feel so naughty.’ He giggled, ‘Are you sure this isn’t freaky?’
‘If it makes you feel like you say it does, then to be sure it's not
freaky, it's beautiful. So are you, Danny.’

He blushed at her words, and she smiled, ‘You look so sweet when you
blush. Maybe Carl would like to take you to the party.’

‘Well that's one thing that isn't going to happen. By the way, if I do
go on Saturday, can I change in your flat? I can't do it in mine can I
with Carl around?’

‘It's when you go on Saturday, not if, and sure you can use our flat.
Now let's get you home, girlfriend.’

Danny felt a tingle as he realised what Siobhan had called him.

Chapter Twelve

They hailed a cab outside the restaurant and they were soon back at the
flat, but Danny desperately needed to take his shoes off and use the
toilet. As Danny kicked off his heels and ran to the toilet, Siobhan
laughed and yelled, ‘I’ll make some tea.’

Great, thought Danny, he could do with a cupright now. He finished,
washed his hands and emerged yelling, ‘It's so much easier going to the
loo as a man.’ He saw Siobhan standing in the kitchen and looking at him
oddly, her eyes as big as saucers.

‘I thought you were making some tea.’ he said as he walked towards her.
‘Danny...’ she began to say as Danny walked into the kitchen. He
couldn't understand why she looked so scared. He watched as she put her
hand up to her mouth and her eyes moved away to the side, looking at
something on the other side of the kitchen. Danny followed her gaze, and
he almost fainted as he saw Carl sitting at the table.

Carl had managed to complete his project quicker than he had expected,
and by Wednesday evening he realised he would be finished by Thursday
lunchtime. He didn't fancy staying another night in the budget hotel
that the client had booked for him, so he checked out in the morning and
at lunchtime he headed to the station. The non-stop service got him back
into Paddington by mid-afternoon and his Uber car pulled up as he came
out onto the street. Carl was always happy to be back in London, and he
had worked hard this week and simply wanted to get back to the flat,
have a drink and relax. He would write the report at home on Friday, so
the weekend would be free. He idly wondered if Danny wanted to do
something together at the weekend.

Carl opened the front door and shouted to see if Danny was home. He
didn't hear any reply, so he dropped his bag in his room, picked up his
mail and sat at the kitchen table reading. Sometime later he heard the
front door open and Siobhan shouting something about making tea. Good,
he thought, Danny must be with her. Carl knew he wasn't good at being on
his own, and this week he had missed Danny’s company and looked forward
to catching up with him.

He looked up as Siobhan breezed into the kitchen, saw him sitting there
and stopped dead. Her mouth dropped open, and she looked shocked.

‘What's up? You look as if you've seen a ghost,’ he said, completely
puzzled by her reaction.

He heard the toilet flush and what sounded like Danny saying something
about the toilet. It was Carl’s turn to look puzzled as he watched
Siobhan turn and said ‘Danny…’ He turned to look at the door as a woman
walked through. She too stopped, and he thought she might pass out with
shock. Time seemed to stand still as they all looked at each other
without saying anything for a fraction of a second, and then they all
started to talk at once.

‘Carl, it's all my fault…’ said Siobhan.

‘Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry…’ said Danny

‘What the hell is going on?’ said Carl.

Danny and Carl both started to speak, and Carl held his hand up and
said, ‘One at a time, please. Siobhan, you first, who is this?’ he
asked, nodding towards Danny.

Siobhan opened her mouth but Danny beat her to it.

‘Carl, it's me, it's Danny.’ He sat down on one of the chairs because he
thought he would otherwise fall down.

‘Danny? What are you talking about?’ Carl suddenly recognised Danny’s
blue eyes. ‘Oh my God, it is you. What the hell is going on?’ Carl felt
his heart jump as he looked at Danny, who looked about to burst into
tears.

Siobhan jumped in. ‘It's all my doing, Carl. You remember Peta, the PR
from the charity? Their in-house designer resigned, and she needed
someone to replace them. I told her about Danny being a designer, but
she only wanted to use someone in the TG community. I told her that
Danny was actually beginning to transition.’

She paused and Danny put his head in his hands.

‘Danny agreed to go to an interview dressed like this, to see if he
could get some work. We spent the last few days getting him, I mean her,
Danni, that’s with an i, ready. He had the interview today…’ her voice
trailed off. ‘We thought you would be back tomorrow, so you wouldn't
find out about it.’

‘I finished the project early and got home this afternoon.’

Danny looked up and said, ‘I'm so sorry, Carl. I’ll move out of the flat
as soon as I can.’

‘Whoa, hang on,’ said Carl. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘Well, after this, you won't want me staying will you?’

Carl didn't say anything for a while, then looked first at Siobhan and
then Danny.

‘You two are priceless, you know, coming up with such a crazy idea. Did
you honestly think you were going to get away with it?’

A big grin spread across Siobhan’s face, ‘Well, he got the job, or,
rather, she got the job.’

Carl laughed, ‘I wish I had been there to see that.’

‘No, really. He was great, knocked her out with his portfolio.’ Siobhan
looked anxiously at Danny, who looked like he wanted to be sick.

Carl looked at him, ‘Danny, that's great, you are a talented designer so
I’m not surprised they want you.’ Danny looked up as Carl spoke. ‘And as
for moving out, why do you want to do that? I thought we were mates?’

Danny looked at Carl to see if he was serious. ‘You mean that?’ he said.

‘Yes, of course. Why did you think I would want you to leave?’

‘Well, after this, I thought you would hate me…’

Carl smiled, ‘No, we’re friends. That counts for more than anything,
doesn't it? Of course I don't want you to leave.’

Danny shook his head, ‘Well, I don't think it's going to happen anyway,
Peta wants me to go to a press party on Saturday night. I don't think I
can go through it all again.’

Siobhan said, ‘Before anybody says anything else, I need a drink, anyone
want to join me?’

‘There’s a bottle of white wine in the fridge, I could do with one too,’
said Carl, ‘Danny, you too?’

He nodded, and Siobhan poured them all a glass, before she too sat
around the table.

Carl took a sip and said, ‘Why can't you go through it again? I think
you look pretty convincing to me.’

Danny couldn't believe his ears. ‘You really think so?’

Siobhan butted in. ‘See, I have been telling him, her, whatever, the
same thing all this week. Now, will you believe me?’

‘Well, there's the other thing too,’ said Danny, glaring at Siobhan, who
immediately went bright pink.

‘What other thing?’ said Carl, wondering why Siobhan looked so
embarrassed.

‘Um, I sort of hinted that Danny had a boyfriend.’

‘More than hinted,’ said Danny.

‘Who?’ asked Carl.

‘Well, er, you actually,’ said Siobhan.

‘What? Me? What made you do that?’ Carl felt stunned by what Siobhan had
said.

The normally imperturbable and super cool Siobhan squirmed now. ‘Peta
remembered you from the show and asked if you were Danny’s boyfriend. I
got carried away and said yes. I honestly didn't think it would matter.
You would never have found out. Then Peta invited Danny and you to the
party on Saturday night.’

‘And Siobhan accepted for both of us.’

‘But we talked about that, Danny can say you were away on business and
go on his own. I'm so sorry, Carl. It was me and my big mouth.’

Carl looked from one to the other, started to giggle, and then laughed
out loud. ‘You should see the look on both your faces. You look as if
the world is about to end in a few minutes.’

Siobhan began to smile and punched Danny gently on the arm. He began to
grin too and then all of them were laughing out loud. Siobhan refilled
their glasses and suddenly the mood in the room had turned. Carl managed
to stop laughing first and held his hand up to get their attention.
‘Tell me about this party on Saturday.’

‘It's a press party to follow up on the fashion show, which has been a
great success for the charity. Peta wanted Danny to meet the other team
members there.’

Carl stayed silent for a moment, struggling with his thoughts, and then
said something he hoped he wouldn't live to regret. ‘Danny, I know
Siobhan said you would go on your own, but what if you had someone there
to support you?’

Both Siobhan and Danny’s mouths fell open at the same time.

Siobhan spoke first, ‘Carl, who do you mean?’

‘Me, of course.’ He said it with rather more confidence than he felt.

‘But you can’t.’ said Danny.

‘Why not? If it would help you, I’ll do it.’

Siobhan emptied the remains of the bottle into their glasses, and
without even asking opened another.

‘Do you know what you're saying, Carl? You would come with me? You know
I would be dressed like this?’

‘Danny, yes I know, and yes, I would do it.’

Siobhan had a smile on her face as she refilled their glasses yet again.

‘Carl, if you're sure, I would be so happy. Just for the support, I
mean, not as a boyfriend.’

‘God, of course not.’ said Carl. ‘No touching or stuff like that.’

‘You are sure aren't you? You're not having me on?’ said Danny.
Carl shook his head, ‘No, I mean it.’

Siobhan raised her glass, ‘To Danni, and Carl.’

They all drank to the toast, and they all thought it made them sound
like a couple.

The evening had ended after a couple more bottles of wine and a Chinese
takeaway. Danny couldn't remember exactly when, but at some point in the
evening he stopped being conscious of the way he was dressed. He felt at
ease being Danni and started to enjoy the experience. Carl and Siobhan
exchanged a quiet look as they saw how much he seemed to be enjoying
himself in his feminine persona. Danny and Siobhan told Carl about what
they had done over the last few days and the interview with Peta. They
were all rolling around with laughter at some points in the story until,
eventually Siobhan said she had to go to bed or she would end up
sleeping on the sofa. She staggered off after kissing Carl and Danny
goodnight, leaving them sitting on the sofa to finish off the last of
the wine.

Carl looked at Danny over the top of his glass. ‘Danny, do you feel OK
with all this.’ He waved his arm vaguely in Danny’s direction.
‘Dunno honestly. It was a bit bizarre at first, I must have thought
about saying No to Siobhan about ten times a minute, then when she did
the first makeover, it began to feel alright. I mean, I thought I looked
alright. It felt odd, but nice. Like a dream I guess. It didn't feel
quite real. Like an out-of-body experience. It felt like there was
another person trying to get out.’ He giggled, ‘Maybe I’m a
schizophrenic. At one point I kept thinking about Jack Lemmon in Some
Like It Hot.’

‘With Siobhan as Marilyn Monroe,’ said Carl.

‘Does that make you Tony Curtis?’ Danny almost fell off the sofa
laughing.

At that point they decided they should call it a night before it got too
silly. Danny found he couldn't get up from the sofa in his skirt and he
thrust out a hand to Carl.

‘Help me up, please.’

Carl grabbed his hand and pulled Danny up from the sofa who overbalanced
and fell against Carl. He instinctively put out his arms to catch Danny
and ended up with his arms around Danny, looking into his blue eyes and
he felt his heart jump. Danny felt Carl’s arms around him and he didn't
want him to let go. For a split second they stood there, each waiting
for something to happen and then they both jumped back and began to
laugh sheepishly.

‘I'm so plastered, I have to go to bed,’ mumbled Carl.

‘Me too, goodnight Carl. See you in the morning.’

Each went off to their own rooms, their minds racing with what had, or
hadn't happened. Danny fell onto his bed, his hands over his face as he
tried to make sense of it all. Sure, he felt drunk, but sober enough
that when he looked into Carl’s eyes he had seen the same look that
Romeo had given him all those years ago. God, he thought, what a fucking
mess I've made. He rolled over and thumped the bed with his fist. This
has to stop, I can't put my friendship with Carl at risk. It had felt
good when Carl put his arms around him, though, and with that thought in
his mind, he fell asleep.

Carl sat on the edge of his bed, and all he could think of was Danny’s
face, looking for all the world as if he were asking Carl to kiss him.
He fell back onto the bed and moaned out loud. No, he couldn't do this
again he thought. Look what it had caused last time. The last image that
flashed into his mind before he fell to sleep was Danny’s tongue sliding
across his pink lips.

Chapter Thirteen

They both woke late, Danny had fallen asleep still fully dressed and his
head pounding. He lay there for a few minutes unable to think clearly,
and then the memories of the evening barged their way into his mind.
When Carl had held him, Danny had felt like he had with Romeo; he had
almost kissed Carl before they had taken a step backwards. What a farce
that would have been. He groaned, how would he be able to face Carl now?

The first thing he had to do was to get out of the dress and clean
himself up. He swore that he would never dress again, it caused too much
trouble. Every time he wore a dress something happened that he couldn't
control. He couldn't cope with the emotional turmoil it set up in him.
He would have to call Peta and tell her the truth. It was a pity,
though, he had begun to enjoy the feeling of being Danni for a while. He
stumbled into the bathroom and set about removing his ravaged makeup as
Siobhan had taught him.

Carl slowly woke up, a massive headache beginning to form behind his
eyes. He opened them once, and then rapidly closed them again. He
wondered if Danny felt as bad, and then what had happened last night
flooded into his mind. Carl remembered how he had felt when Danny had
fallen into his arms. He had come so close to kissing him and he thought
he had seen a glimmer in Danny’s eyes at the moment before they both
pulled back. God, what would have happened if he had kissed him? Carl
felt his face go red as he thought about how close he had come to
disaster. He groaned, how would he be able to face Danny now?

He needed some coffee and paracetamol first before deciding to do
anything. He took off his Armani suit trousers, thinking he hadn’t been
the best idea to sleep in them. They would have to go the cleaners
today. He pulled on some Levis and a white t-shirt before heading out
into the kitchen. Having taken a couple of paracetamol with some orange
juice, he started the coffee percolator and sat down at the table.

Having cleaned himself up, Danny put on a pair of loose sweatpants and
an oversized t-shirt. He heard Carl moving around outside and he smelled
the coffee brewing. He hesitated before opening the door, but he knew it
couldn't be put off any more. He eased open the door to see Carl with
his back to him, in blue jeans and a white t-shirt. Before he could stop
himself he thought how good Carl looked. He shook his head, he had to
stop thinking like that.

Carl heard Danny open his door, and he didn't want to turn around. He
wondered if Danny would still be dressed as a woman and he frankly
didn't know how he would react if he was. He finally turned around with
a cup of coffee and felt almost disappointed to see Danny in sweatpants
and a t-shirt with his hair in its ponytail. The second thing he noticed
were those damn blue eyes, and he moaned inwardly.

‘Coffee, Danny? Paracetamol are over there if you need them.’

‘Coffee, please, Carl. Can I take the whole bottle?’

‘Only if you want to end up in A&E at the hospital,’ said Carl.

‘Don't tempt me, the way I'm feeling, that might be a good option.’

Danny took a couple of tablets, and coffee in hand, sat down opposite
Carl.

‘Look, about last night…’ Both spoke at the same time and they laughed.
Danny held his hand up, ‘Me first, Miss.’

Carl smiled and nodded.

‘I wanted to say that I've thought about everything and I have decided
not to go tomorrow. I'm going to tell Peta the truth and move on. It's
easier all round. What were you going to say about last night?’

Carl was caught off guard, he hadn't expected Danny to say that. He took
a long drink from his coffee to give him time to think.

‘Oh, it doesn't matter. Why? I thought you were keen to go ahead last
night. You seemed to be so at ease with yourself. I haven't seen you so
happy for a while.’

‘I don't want to impose on you. I know it would be embarrassing for you
to be seen with me, and for everyone to think we're together. I couldn't
do it to you.’

‘Danny, I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to do it. It will only
be for one night after all.’ He paused, and felt a rush of blood as he
said, ‘Anyway, I could never be embarrassed to be seen with you looking
as good as you did last night.’

Carl’s words hung in the air, as both of them thought about what they
meant.

‘Carl, that's nice of you, but I’ve made up my mind.’ As he said it, it
occurred to him there might be something more behind Carl’s
encouragement.

‘OK, Danny, if that's your decision, when will you tell Siobhan?’

‘It's nothing to do with Siobhan, it's what I want to do.’ Danny said
tetchily.

‘OK, OK. It's your decision, I know. Look, I’ve got to start my report
for the project, so I’ll see you later on? Fancy a drink at the pub?’

‘Yeah, that would be great, Carl. I've got a commission to work on so
that would be good.’

Both headed off to their rooms, each thinking that somehow they had
upset the other.

Danny didn't have anything to work on, as his pipeline had dried up, but
he didn't want Carl to know that. He spent the rest of the day making
cold calls and trying to chase up old contacts. He got a couple of small
jobs from the calls but they wouldn't pay much, almost doing them for
nothing to keep the contacts alive. Maybe he had been too hasty in
deciding not to go for the charity work, it would give him an income
stream and he was sure he could leverage it into other work. He pushed
back his chair and stared at the wall. He thought about what Carl had
said about him being so relaxed when he was dressed as Danni; was it
true? When he became Danni, he did feel different. He stood up and went
to the wardrobe where he had hung the dress he had been wearing
yesterday. He would have to get it cleaned and pressed.

He picked up the panties and the bra from the chair where he had laid
them this morning. His fingers ran over the silky material and he felt
his cock stir as he did so. He closed his eyes as his fingers pushed
down his sweatpants and wrapped themselves around his hardening cock. He
found himself pushing down his sweats, kicking them into a corner of the
room. Almost without thinking, he pulled the panties up his legs and
sighed as they cradled his balls.

His cock had now become fully erect, and he began stroking it with one
hand whilst the other caressed the material now stretched across his
backside. He closed his eyes once more and his hand moved faster along
his cock. He felt his climax approaching and at that moment it burst
forth into his hand, he realised he had been thinking about Carl.

Carl had tried to concentrate on his report but his mind kept floating
off to last night. He thought Danny had looked so pretty in the dress
and the makeup Siobhan had created. His hair was different too, how had
he achieved such a feminine style? Carl sighed, what was happening here?
He kept coming back to that moment when Danny had fallen against him. He
had been sure he saw a longing in Danny’s eyes, but neither of them had
done anything. Carl felt his cock begin to swell as he thought about
that moment. Well it was a moot point, he thought, as Danny had decided
not to go ahead with the charity work, so there would be no need for
them to go the party.

Carl finally got his attention focused on his report and by late
afternoon, he had wrapped most of it up, it only needed a little
polishing. He pushed back his chair and decided he would celebrate with
a drink. He knocked on Danny’s door.

‘Danny, I’m heading to the pub, do you want to come?’

‘OK, give me a minute, got to change.’ Danny called back.

Carl sent a text to Siobhan, ‘off 2 pub, u want 2 come?’

His phone beeped with a reply, ‘sure c u in 2 mins. Jools 2’

Danny came out of his room as the doorbell rang.

‘I asked the girls if they wanted to come, is that OK?’

Danny shrugged, ‘Yeah, it's fine by me.’

Carl opened the door and Siobhan and Julia burst in, all smiles and
kissing cheeks. Julia hooked her arm into Danny’s. ‘How have you been
Danny? What trouble have you got into while I've been away?’

Danny looked desperately at Siobhan, but she had her arm in Carl’s and
was facing the other way.

‘Nothing much, how about you? How was the shoot?’

‘Daaahling, St Moritz is so last year, don't you think?’ she drawled.
‘They were all a bunch of upper class pillocks, Darling this and Darling
that. Hated them, but the money was good.’ She squeezed his arm, and
they followed the other two out of the door. ‘Now, tell me the truth
about what you and wifey got up to.’ They were walking a few paces
behind the others and Danny wished he knew what Siobhan had told her.

‘What did she tell you?’

‘Everything Danny, no secrets between us.’

Danny gulped and knew he had gone pink. ‘Well, if you know why do you
want me to tell you?’

‘Touché, Danny boy. You and her got up to something that I know. But she
won't tell me what. Yet, that is. But I will wheedle it out of you
before the night is finished.’

Danny heaved a sigh of relief, Siobhan hadn't told Julia, so he wasn't
going to say anything. They chatted on the way down to the Duke’s Head
and were lucky enough to find a table with a view of the river. The sun
glinted off the water where rowers from the nearby rowing clubs were
still out on the river. It was one of those spring evenings when you
could almost smell summer around the corner. Julia made everyone laugh
about the people she had met on the shoot for an upmarket society
magazine. There came one of those pauses that happens when the laughter
dies away and nobody says anything. Siobhan broke the silence. ‘So,
Danny, my boy, are you up for the party tomorrow?’

Three pairs of eyes looked at Danny who immediately began to squirm.
‘Party,’ asked Julia, ‘what party?’

Siobhan turned to her, ‘Danny and Carl have been invited to a party by
Peta from the charity. Danny’s going to be their new designer.’

‘Wow, that's great, Danny.’ Julia stretched out her hand to touch his
arm. ‘You must be so pleased.’

His eyes zigzagged wildly from one to the other, before he finally said,
‘Well, you see, it's like this…’ His voice trailed off.

‘Do you still want to go?’ Carl tried to help his friend out.

Siobhan frowned as Julia said, ‘Why wouldn't he go?’

Danny had turned bright red and swallowed before saying, ‘Well, I don't
want to put Carl out.’

Siobhan looked at Carl, ‘Would you be put out, Carl?’

‘Well, er, no, not at all.’ he shrugged at Danny, it was over to him
now.

Julia looked from one to the other, ‘What’s going on here? Is there
something I’ve missed? Someone talk to me for fuck’s sake.’

Siobhan said softly, ‘Peta will only give Danny the design job to
someone who is TG.’

‘But, Danny’s not TG,’ spluttered Julia. Then her eyes widened and her
hand went up to her mouth. ‘Oh my sainted aunt, that's what you two were
doing this week.’ She grinned, ‘If wifey here did you I bet you looked
awesome, Danny. But why is Carl involved?’

Danny had covered his face with his hands, so Carl answered, his eyes
still on Danny.

‘Siobhan told Peta that Danny and I were an item, and then she invited
us both to the party.’

Julia put her fist in her mouth to stop laughing, ‘Oh my God, I think
that's the sweetest thing I’ve heard in a long time. Danny you must go,
and Carl too, why not?’

Danny took a deep breath, he had finally made his decision, ‘OK,
everyone, I will go, but only if you all shut up about it right now. Not
another word about it until we get back, is that understood?’

Siobhan and Julia smirked, and Carl thought, ‘Oh my God, it's on.’

‘Can I ask something?’ said Julia.

‘No, not another word.’ said Danny.

‘OK, OK. Keep your panties on.’ Julia bit her lip as she tried to stop
grinning.

They chatted a little more before it started to turn cool and they
decided to head back. Siobhan grabbed Danny as Julia chatted to Carl.
‘You OK, babe?’

‘Actually, yes,’ he said, ‘Now I’ve finally decided, I'm a lot happier
about it. I had some bad moments but, it's fine now. I don't think I
could do it on my own, so having Carl there will be great, but probably
embarrassing for both if us. I hope he’s OK about doing this.’

‘Oh don't worry about Carl, he knows what he's doing.’

Something about the way she said it made Danny look at her, but she
didn't say anything else. As they reached the flat, Siobhan turned to
Danny, ‘If you come up to our flat about one o'clock tomorrow, we can
get started for the party.’

‘Do we need to start that early?’

‘Danny, my sweet, there is a lot you need to learn about being a woman.
For example, it is never too early to start getting ready for a party.
Boys can throw on trousers and a shirt, we girls have a lot to do.’
Danny gulped and nodded, ‘OK, see you then.’

The two girls disappeared upstairs as Carl and Danny went inside. It
turned into a quiet evening, Danny cooked a meal for them both and they
ate in silence. Carl was the one to break it. ‘Danny, look, if you're
wondering, I am perfectly happy to do this. Truly.’

‘Carl, thank you, I still don't understand why you would do it, but I am
really grateful, I couldn't go through with it without you there.’

Carl felt a tingle at what Danny had said, but what he didn't know was
that Danny had felt the same as he spoke the words.

‘You're welcome, Danny.’

Danny cleared the dishes away and Carl suggested they watch a film on
Netflix.

‘OK, something to cheer me up.’ said Danny, ‘but not Tootsie.’

Carl laughed. ‘How about La Cage Aux Folles then?’

Danny threw a cushion at him. ‘Absolutely not.’

They settled on Hot Fuzz which kept them chuckling all the way through
to the end. Somewhere during the film, Danny realised that he liked
being dressed this way, and being here with Carl. It reminded him of a
night in with Jess, but with a big difference. He felt like Jess might
have done. He felt an overwhelming desire to cuddle up with Carl on the
sofa, but he knew that would be impossible. As the film ended, they said
goodnight and went off to their rooms, and both fell into a troubled
sleep wondering what the next day would bring.

Chapter Fourteen

Danny woke first and had started the coffee machine before Carl
appeared. The morning became bright and warm enough for them to open the
patio doors and sit outside with their coffee and some fresh croissants
Danny had fetched from the local bakers. Carl said he planned to ride
out to Richmond Park and the Surrey Hills, and would be back sometime
after lunch. Danny thought it was more about keeping himself out of the
way. Carl wheeled his bike through the garden and Danny caught himself
staring at Carl's thighs in his Lycra cycling shorts.

After Carl had gone, Danny was left to confront a thought which had been
niggling away at him for the past few days. He had always thought
himself straight, but the events of the past few days, the dressing, and
the all feelings which had been released had begun to unsettle him.
Danny had finally admitted to himself that he was attracted to Carl,
which only added to his confusion. Uneasy thoughts churned in his mind;
he wasn't gay, he simply wasn't, couldn't be, could he?

He remembered what Siobhan had said about gender not being binary. Was
he bi? Or, what was it she had said, one of the many different colours
of gender? She had also said that sexual attraction isn't about gender.
Shit, he thought, why was life so difficult? Maybe I'm just a screw up.
Anyway, he had to keep his feelings for Carl to himself, it would be a
disaster if he let that show.

He needed to do something to keep his mind off what would happen later,
so he grabbed his swimming gear and headed off to the local pool.
Swimming always calmed him down, the monotonous rhythm and concentration
on technique would always relieve any stress he felt. Except this time,
as he pulled his speedos on, he began to feel his cock come to life as
the tight material cradled him. What was up with him? He hurried into
the pool with a towel over his groin and slipped quickly into the water.

For a while it worked; he managed to relax as he did lap after lap,
keeping his mind firmly on his technique. Someone bumped Danny’s foot,
so he took a break at the end of his lap and let the other swimmer move
past. Danny watched as the newcomer swam powerfully up the lane, tumble
turned and then back again. He touched the lane end and stopped next to
Danny.

‘Nice stroke.’ said Danny.

‘Thanks, you’re not so bad yourself.’

‘Out of practice, I need some more time in the pool,’ said Danny who
became a little flustered by what the other guy had said. Perhaps he was
being oversensitive, seeing innuendo everywhere.

‘You should come more often, maybe we could do some lengths together?’
Danny pushed his head underwater, mainly to cover his embarrassment. He
took a sideways look at the swimmer; a bit younger than him, broad
shouldered, brown eyes and full lips. He looked at Danny with a smile,
‘I’m Mark, you are…?’

‘Danny, nice to meet you Mark.’

‘Likewise, Danny. It's nice to have some new talent down here.’ Mark
looked Danny straight in the eyes as he spoke. Danny was now totally
flustered. Were Mark’s words innocent or was there a coded meaning in
them? Danny felt a tingle as he looked at Mark. These past few days the
way his body reacted seemed to be almost out of control. Danny dropped
his eyes from Mark’s gaze and said, ‘Well, maybe, when do you come
swimming?’

Why had he said that?

Mark smiled at him, ‘I’m here every Saturday morning, some evenings too.
We should meet up sometime, grab a drink maybe?’

There was no mistake, Mark was hitting on him.

Danny blushed, ‘Er, well, it's a bit difficult…’

‘Ah, you've got a boyfriend? Sorry, no offence meant, but had to try my
luck with a hottie like you.’ He smiled broadly at Danny, making him
feel a little giddy. ‘I’ll see you around if you come down again.’ Mark
swam off, leaving Danny stunned. Danny watched him climb the steps out
of the pool and gulped as he saw Mark’s speedos tighten around his
buttocks as he left the water.

Mark had obviously thought he was gay. Danny felt more confused than
ever, especially given the way his body had betrayed him about Mark’s
pass. He had definitely felt a thrill as he realised what Mark was
getting at. He swam over to the steps and headed to the changing rooms.
Danny felt glad that Mark had left by the time he got there, he couldn't
cope with any more stress right now.

Just after one o'clock he pressed the bell of the upstairs flat and
Julia opened the door. She smiled broadly, ‘Come on in Princess, it's
your time to shine…’

Carl arrived back from his ride in mid-afternoon half expecting Danny to
have backed out of it and to be waiting for him. However, he was nowhere
to be seen and Carl assumed he had gone upstairs with the girls. He made
himself something to eat and contemplated what he wanted to wear
tonight. It wasn't formal party, but he wanted to be smart for Danny’s
sake. He laid out a pair of pale blue chinos and a tight white dress
shirt he would wear buttoned up but without a tie. He fussed over a
jacket and finally chose a light white summer jacket with a light
diamond pattern that he thought would match perfectly. He showered,
shaved, dressed, and made himself a drink to steady his nerves.

More than once he asked himself why was he doing this, and yet he knew
why. Carl knew he had become more and more attracted to Danny, but
seeing him dressed as a woman had knocked him sideways. Danny had looked
so sweet and vulnerable at the same time, so much so that Carl had
simply wanted to wrap his arms around him and hold him tight. Carl had
not hesitated for a second when the idea of going to the party with
Danny had come up. He simply knew he wanted to see more of his friend as
Danni.

Chapter Fifteen

Carl sat outside enjoying the late afternoon sun when he heard the
doorbell ring, ‘This is it,’ he thought. He took a quick peek in the
mirror to check he looked alright and paused, took a deep breath and
opened the door. He was slightly surprised to see Siobhan standing
there.

‘Hi Carl,’ she paused for effect, ‘here’s your date.’

She stepped aside to reveal Danny standing behind her, and his heart
leapt. Oh my God, he heard himself whisper to himself as Danny lifted
his eyes from the floor to smile shyly at Carl.

‘Hi Carl, what do you think?’

Carl couldn't quite believe what he saw. Last night he had thought that
Danny looked nice as a woman, but this evening surpassed everything.
Danny’s normally straight blonde hair now tumbled to his shoulders in
curls, framing a flawlessly made-up face with a small silver necklace
dangling at the throat. Danny wore a white lace midi dress with a mesh
top and sleeves with a white shawl over his shoulders and clutching a
small clutch bag in his hands. Danny’s nails were coloured a flame red
which matched his lipstick, the eye makeup was dark and smoky, making
his blue eyes sparkle. Siobhan had worked her Celtic magic on Danny,
creating a look which to Carl appeared both sophisticated and sexy.
Somehow she had completely transformed Danny into Danni.

‘Do I look alright?’ Danny said, a note of worry creeping into his voice
as Carl had not replied.

Carl gulped, trying to find his voice. ‘Alright? No, you don't look
alright. You look fabulous, Danny.’

Danny blushed and dropped his eyes to the floor before looking up at
Carl coyly.

‘Do you really think so?’

That look almost did for Carl and he felt his own face turn pink.
‘Oh, yes, you look stunning.’ He suddenly realised they were still
standing in the hallway and he stepped back, ‘Come on in, have we got
time for a drink before we go?’

‘Never thought you would ask.’ said Siobhan over Danny’s shoulder. They
walked into the kitchen where Julia joined them. Carl opened a bottle of
Prosecco from the fridge and Julia fetched the glasses. She stood next
to Carl and whispered, ‘Take good care of our girl tonight.’

Carl nodded, ‘Of course.’ Then wondered what Julia had meant exactly.

Carl was in the middle of pouring the wine when Danny said, ‘Are you all
sure I can get away with this?’

As one, all three of the others said loudly, ‘Yes.’

‘Alright, alright,’ said Danny, ‘No need to shout, I’m so nervous.’

Everyone laughed and Siobhan said, ‘To Danni, with an i.’

‘Danni,’ they said and clinked glasses.

‘Thanks Siobhan for everything you've done, and you too Julia, I will
take good care of your dress.’

‘You're welcome, sweetie. Just promise me you’ll enjoy yourself, you
look wonderful.’

Carl’s phone beeped. ‘It's our ride outside so I guess we better get
going.’ Danny hugged both Julia and Siobhan before they finally pushed
him out of the door.

‘Enjoy yourselves, don't be late home, you kids.’ shouted Julia. Then,
to Siobhan she said, ‘They look , lovely together. Do you think they
know how they feel about each other?’

‘If they don't after tonight, they never will.’ She grabbed Julia's
hand, ‘Come on, let's go upstairs, I'm getting wet thinking about those
two.’

Carl held the door of the cab open for Danny as he sat and slid into the
back seat, remembering the last-minute instructions from Julia about how
to get into a car without flashing your panties - keep your knees
together and swivel on your bum, unless there are paparazzi there, in which
case give them a flash. Carl slipped into the other seat and told the
driver where they were going before smiling at Danny.

‘You look so good, Danny, how do you feel.’

‘Like I'm about to throw up.’ He grimaced.

‘Hey, it's going to be fine. Remember all the people there tonight will
be on your side. They will love you I'm sure.’

‘God, I hope you're right. Let's not stay too long, eh?’

‘Up to you, Danny. I'll follow your lead.’

The ride gave Carl a chance to sneak a better look at Danny. The dress
looked beautiful on Danny and enhanced his complexion and blonde hair.
He wore sheer white stockings or tights and a pair of strappy sandals
with heels. Carl couldn't stop himself thinking about Danny in stockings
and his cock began to tingle at the thought. As well as the necklace he
had on a matching bracelet and earrings which glittered when Danny moved
his head. The lipstick made his lips looked so kissable, and his
eyebrows had definitely been shaped into a graceful arch. The eye makeup
drew you into those dazzling eyes. Trust Siobhan to get that right for
such an occasion. Carl’s pulse began to race as he watched Danny. He
mentally kicked himself not to do anything stupid tonight.

Danny caught Carl looking at him and said, ‘What? Is something wrong?’
Carl smiled, ‘Absolutely nothing Danny, you look wonderful tonight.’
Danny blushed, but he felt a glorious tingle at what Carl said. He had
wanted to look good for Carl, it was the least he could do to repay him
for escorting him to the party. He knew he would never have gone on his
own, so he had desperately wanted not to embarrass Carl this evening by
the way he looked.

Siobhan and Julia had gone all out for tonight; the hairdresser friend
of Siobhan had done miracles with his hair, and the trip to the local
spa for waxing, manicure and eyebrows had been scary but the results
were worth the pain. The bikini wax had been the worst but Julia had
insisted on it, saying that to look like a girl you had to feel like one
and that no girl would be happy with ‘her pubes sticking out
everywhere.’ It had been a rush but when Siobhan had finally allowed
Danny to see what they had done, he was at a loss for words. Wearing
Julia’s dress with white stockings and a pair of strappy heels, Danny
had almost collapsed at the sight. Julia and Siobhan were grinning their
heads off as they watched Danny primp and preen in front of the
full-length mirror. Whatever happened tonight, Danny knew the debt he
owed his two girlfriends.

It wasn't long before the cab drew up in front of the bar where the
party was being held. Carl opened the door and instinctively put his
hand out to help Danny out of the cab. Danny froze, looked at Carl's
hand and then put his hand out and grabbed it. It was when Danny took
his hand that Carl felt a thrill run through him.

‘Thanks,’ mumbled Danny, averting his eyes from Carl as he let go of his
hand after he had got out of the car, and pulled the shawl around his
shoulders as if it were an invisibility cape. He took a deep breath,
forced himself not to turn around and jump back into the cab, and walked
towards the bar door. Carl stepped in front of Danny and held the door
open for him. Danny smiled and said, ‘Thank you.’

‘You’re welcome honey.’ Carl smiled back.

Danny glared at him, but Carl had already looked away. They walked on
into the bar and Danny felt Carl’s hand touch the small of his back and
he felt strangely happy at the gesture. It was the same thing Danny had
done to Jess to reassure her if she was nervous.

‘Danni, Danni. Over here.’ Peta pushed her way through the crowd and
hugged Danny. ‘Oh my word, you look gorgeous, sweetie. That dress and
your makeup fires up the colour in your eyes. And I so love what you've
done with your hair. Do I detect the hand of Siobhan in this?’

‘Yes, she gave me a makeover this afternoon.’ Danny thought they were
words he never imagined he would hear himself saying.

‘Carl, I'm so glad you could make it.’ She gave him a quick peck on the
cheek. ‘What do you think of Danni? Isn't she so pretty? You're such a
lucky guy.’ Peta kept her hands on Danny’s arms a little longer than
might have been necessary.

Carl smiled, ‘Yes, she's gorgeous.’ He sensed the attention Peta was
paying Danny, and without thinking about what he was doing he put his
arm around Danny’s waist and pulled him close. Danny stiffened but
couldn't say anything, and Carl didn't take his arm away.

‘Let me get you a drink and introduce you to everyone.’ Peta signalled a
waiter and within a few moments they had glasses of wine in their hands
and were chatting with several of the people from the charity. Danny
began to relax, and whatever fears he may have had about how he would be
received disappeared as he realised that nobody was judging him.

Everybody seemed to be friendly and welcomed him as one of them. That
gave Danny a jolt; is that what he was, one of them? Danny had a sudden
urge to run, to escape from this madness. It had gotten completely out
of hand, what on earth was he doing here?

He glanced down at his hand holding the wine glass and his newly painted
nails looked so beautiful. He felt the tug of the stockings and the
pinch of his heels as he moved his weight from one leg to the other. The
feelings that surged through him were beginning to scramble his mind.
What had started almost as a joke had somewhere along the line turned
into something completely different. This wasn't for him; he should
leave now, end all this and go back to being plain old Danny. He took a
deep breath, closed his eyes for a moment and the panic attack passed.
He felt Carl standing next to him and he glanced at him, willing him to
say ‘Let's go home.’ But Carl was chatting to a guy with a beard who was
telling him about his female to male transition. Carl seemed to be
listening intently and enjoying himself as Peta appeared at Danny’s side
and laid her fingers on his arm.

‘Are you enjoying yourself, Danni? You look a little flustered.’

‘Oh, no, I mean yes, I am. I guess I'm not used to be being around so
many people while I’m dressed. It takes some getting used to.’

Peta nodded, ‘Yes, I remember the same feelings, but you are such a
natural, Danni. We’re all the same here and I am so looking forward to
working closely with you.’ She gave Danny’s arm a gentle squeeze.

‘Oh, me too, Peta. And thanks again for the chance to work here, I am so
grateful.’

Peta smiled and looked straight into his eyes, ‘I'm sure we can find a
way for you to show your gratitude.’

Danny blinked, was Peta now hitting on him? Or was it simply his
overheated imagination playing tricks with him? He was so confused, why
had life got so complicated so quickly?

Peta clinked a knife against her glass to get everyone’s attention. When
the noise had died down she began to speak, ‘Hi, everyone, thanks for
coming out to meet with us tonight. We appreciate the efforts you have
all made on the charity’s behalf and I hope the members of the media
here will get to meet as many of our people as possible. Oh, and on the
subject of coming out, I would like to welcome the newest member of our
team, our designer, Danni Albright. Danni here has just begun her
transition, and she's here with her partner Carl.’

There was a good round of applause and some whistles, but Danny didn't
hear any of it as he was about to pass out with shock. Carl saw Danny
wobbling and grabbed him around the waist to stop him toppling over as a
press photographer snapped a picture of them both.

‘Danny are you OK?’ whispered Carl.

‘Fuck, fuck, fuck,’ said Danny, aghast at what Peta had said. ‘I need to
go home, Carl, let's get out of here.’

‘Ok, let's say our goodbyes first.’

Carl whisked Danny round the people they had met and finally bumped into
Peta. Carl sad, ‘I think we should get home, Danni is feeling a little
the worse for wear, all the new people she's met, I think she's had
enough for tonight.’

‘Ok, I understand, Danni, I’ll be in touch Monday to start the ball
rolling.’ Danny nodded, wishing he was on the opposite side of the world
at this moment. Peta hugged him and gave him a kiss on the lips,
‘Goodnight Danni.’

‘G’night Peta.’ was all Danny could manage.

Danny almost ran out of the bar and when Carl caught him up a few steps
outside, he could see Danny was crying. Carl’s heart ached as he saw his
friend in tears and he instinctively wrapped his arms around Danny and
pulled him close to his chest. Danny still sobbed and Carl stroked his
back to comfort him.

‘Danny, what's the matter?’

Danny snivelled, ‘What's the matter? Peta’s just announced to the world
that I'm transitioning and you're my partner. Apart from that, nothing’s
the matter.’ Danny started to cry again, and Carl hugged him tighter.
‘Danny, don't worry, there's no harm done.’

Danny looked up at Carl, his eyes red with tears, ‘But, you’ll be
dragged into it as well. Can't you see that?’

Carl shook his head, ‘I don't care.’

‘How can you say that?’

Carl could bear it no longer, he bent his head forward and kissed Danny.
It took a few seconds before Danny realised what had happened, but he
felt himself begin to kiss back. Then, something went off in his mind
and he pulled back, looked up at Carl and said, ‘No, no.’ He broke out
of Carl’s arms and ran off as fast as he could in his heels.

Carl slumped back against the wall, ‘Shit, Shit, shit. How could you be
so stupid?’ he muttered, banging his head back against the wall. ‘Danny,
I’m sorry,’ he called, but Danny had turned the corner by now. Carl
followed round the corner only to see him getting into a cab further up
the road which disappeared into the night.

Carl had no idea what to do, so he walked into the nearest pub and
ordered a large brandy. It burnt his throat as he downed it and he
thought he probably deserved that. A second one didn't improve his mood,
and Carl decided he had better get home before he ended up sleeping on a
park bench. He hailed a cruising taxi and within half an hour the cab
pulled up outside the apartment. There were no lights on in his flat,
but it seemed as if the girls were up as their lights were still on. He
knocked on Danny’s bedroom door but there was no answer, and it looked
as if Danny had not been back. Pouring himself another brandy he slumped
onto the sofa.

He leant back, closed his eyes and all he could see were Danny’s eyes
looking up at him. Fuck, what have I done? Right when my friend needed
some comfort I do something stupid like that. He felt like throwing up.
The bell rang, and he thought Danny has a key, so who the hell is this?
He looked through the peephole to see Siobhan standing there. Shit, what
does she want? Hasn't she caused enough trouble?

He thought about not answering, but she pressed the bell again and he
reluctantly opened the door.

‘Yes, what?’ he said, not wanting to let her in. She took one look at
his face and said, ‘I don’t care what you feel about me right now, but
there is somebody you need to talk to.’ She moved aside and Danny
appeared from where he had been out of sight around the corner. It
looked as if he had been crying again, and he looked about as miserable
as a human being could be.

Siobhan pushed Danny through the door and said, ‘You two, talk to each
other, now.’

She closed the door leaving them looking at each other.

‘I’m sorry,’ both of them said at the same time. It broke the tension
and Carl said, ‘You want a drink?’

Danny nodded, ‘Yes please.’

Carl poured two large brandies and took them through to where Danny sat
on one of the sofas. Even though Danny had been crying, Carl thought he
still looked wonderful. Carl sat on the other sofa and neither of them
spoke for a while. Danny broke it first.

‘I'm sorry for running away, but I was so upset, I didn't know what to
do.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry for Danny, it was my fault, I shouldn't
have done that.’

Danny nodded, ‘Why did you do it?’

‘Can't we just forget it? Please? Can't we still be friends?’

Danny shook his head, ‘No, I need to know, Carl. It's important.’

Carl looked away, tears beginning to prick the corners of his eyes. He
knew Danny wouldn't let it go now. He owed Danny the truth, even if it
ruined their friendship. He blew out his cheeks, ‘Danny, I’m bi-sexual,
I like to be with men and women.’

‘Carl, I know what bi-sexual means, why didn't you tell me?’

Carl looked at him, ‘Not the kind of thing you drop into a casual
conversation is it? Do you want a coffee, and by the way you should know
I go both ways?’

Danny looked away, ‘No, I guess not. Is that why you split up with
Simone?’

‘Is that what Siobhan told you?’

‘No, she didn't say anything, just that we needed to talk to each
other.’

‘Oh. Well, yes it was. She found out only because she found my browsing
history one day and confronted me. I hadn’t done anything while we were
together, except for looking at porn sites, but she didn't believe me. I
had a couple of affairs with men before I met her, but nothing more than
that. She couldn't accept it. Siobhan and Julia knew all about it, they
had met one of the guys before I hooked up with Simone.’

Danny nodded, some of what the girls had hinted at the first night he
met them now began to make sense.

‘So, do you fancy me, Carl?’

Carl winced at the way he said it. ‘Honestly, not at first, we seemed to
click as friends and I liked it that way. We seemed to complement each
other, and it felt good to have you as a friend. I guess there's no
point in denying it now, but I did become more attracted to you, not
that I was going to do anything about it. I didn't want to ruin our
friendship.’

‘So, what changed?’

‘Do we have to go through this, Danny, Can't we drop it?’

Danny pressed on, ‘So, what changed, Carl?’

Carl heaved a sigh, ‘When I saw you at the fashion show, when Siobhan
had made you up, I couldn't get you out of my mind. You were so pretty,
and I liked the way it made you look. Then, when I came home early and
you and Siobhan walked in, you shocked me certainly, but I couldn't get
over how natural and lovely you were. I thought you were so sweet and a
little vulnerable, which always gets me. It engages my protective
instinct. When the idea of going with you to the party came up, I jumped
at it and when I saw you earlier tonight, well, you blew me away. You
were, I mean, you are, gorgeous.’

Two pink spots appeared on Danny’s cheeks and he looked away.

‘When you ran out of the bar and I found you crying, all I wanted to do
was look after you. When you looked up at me, all I could think of was
kissing you. So I did. I’m sorry, please forgive me, it was
inexcusable.’

A long pause followed as both of them took sips of their drinks.

‘Carl, thank you for being so honest. It means a lot to me. I enjoyed
being your friend, it meant a lot to me.’

He’s now going to tell me he wants to move out, I've fucked it all up,
Carl thought.

‘This whole thing has been so confusing for me. I mean, I've always
thought of myself as straight, but that first night with the girls was a
revelation. Ever since I told that story about me being Juliet and
Siobhan going on about helping me to do it again, it has been on my mind
all the time. I couldn't get that image of me as Juliet out of my head.
I kept thinking of how great it had made me feel. When we went to the
show, the models knocked me sideways. How could boys look so much like
beautiful girls? Siobhan just pushed me a little further along each
time, and I thought it would be a bit of harmless fun to let her make me
up.’

He paused to sip his drink again.

‘But when I saw what she had done to me in the mirror, I couldn't
believe it. She had made me look like a girl, and I loved it. It touched
something in me that I must have buried. Even so, I tried to shove it
away. But, when the job offer came up, Siobhan pushed me a little
further with this crazy idea that I could pass as a woman, or at least
someone beginning to transition. She nudged me every time to go that bit
further, and you know, I didn't push back, in fact I willingly went
along with her. I realised it made me feel so good. I felt so different
when I was dressed.’

His eyes were glistening as he spoke. ‘It allowed a different, and much
nicer me to emerge. I know I should have told her to stop, and I thought
of doing it dozens of times, but I couldn’t. I felt so good that I
wanted it to go on and on.’

He took another sip of brandy. ‘It terrified me when I went up for the
job, but it seemed to go well, which made me want to go even further.
Something had changed in me. As Danni with an i, I felt so much calmer
and happy than Danny with y. I didn't know why, it just felt right. It
was no longer about the job, it was about me and some kind of journey I
had embarked on. But, when you caught me that afternoon I wanted to
chuck it all in. I thought you would want to throw me out for being a
freak, but you were so calm and nice about it. It floored me when you
offered to go with me. You accepted me as I was, and that meant so much
to me.’

Danny took a deep breath; he knew this next bit would be difficult. ‘I
also knew that I was getting attracted to you. I didn't know why, but I
kept thinking about you, how attractive you were, how much I liked being
with you. But, I also didn't want to spoil our friendship. Above all, I
wanted to impress you and for you to be proud of me when we went to the
party, so I agreed to all the plans the girls had for me. Siobhan called
in a favour from a hairdresser, they whisked me off to a local salon to
get waxed, my eyebrows done, my nails varnished, and I loved every
minute of it. Siobhan spent ages on my makeup. Julia lent me this dress,
and I felt so complete when I looked at myself in the mirror. I felt
pretty and feminine and knew that’s how I wanted to be. So, when I came
downstairs and saw the look on your face, I knew I looked special. I
almost felt like I was floating on air because of the way you looked at
me. It felt so nice when you looked after me at the party; I felt safe
and secure in a way that made me want it to go on and on. Your touch on
my back reassured me when I needed it, and when you put your arm around
me I went weak at the knees. I knew then I had found who I wanted to
be.’

Carl opened his mouth to say something but Danny held his hand up.

‘Let me finish please, Carl. I was also terribly scared by my feelings,
both about myself and about you. To say I was confused is the
understatement of the century. It spooked me when Peta said what she
did, and I totally lost it. Then when you kissed me, it tipped me right
over the top. I had to get away, and that's why I ran. I’m sorry.’
‘God, you have nothing to be sorry about, Danny. I feel terrible, I
should never have done what I did.’

Danny paused to dab his eye and then went on. ‘I ended up by knocking on
the girls’ door and they let me in and I blurted out everything to them.
I’m sorry, but I didn't have anyone else to talk to. They were great,
just listened and didn't preach; told me that I had to tell you what I
felt, that you would understand. I didn't know then what they meant. I
thought you would hate me. Then Siobhan grabbed my hand and dragged me
downstairs.’

Danny looked away and then back at Carl.

‘Here’s the funny thing, Carl. What freaked me out tonight wasn't that
you kissed me, but that I enjoyed it. I wanted to kiss you back and for
you to keep kissing me. That scared me more than anything because I
didn't understand what was happening then, but I do now.’

Carl stared at him, holding his breath, not daring to hope.

Danny looked at Carl and said, ‘Would it be OK if I asked you to kiss me
again?’

Carl finally let out his breath. ‘Danny, are you sure about this?’

‘Carl, please don't say no, I might not be able to cope with it if you
do.’

‘Danny, there's nothing on this earth that would stop me if you want me
to.’

Danny blushed, lowered his eyes and said, ‘Yes, I do.’

Carl moved across to the other sofa and sat next to Danny. He took
Danny’s hand and with his other hand gently brought Danny’s face up to
face him. Carl looked into those blue eyes and he knew he had fallen in
love with Danny. He bent forward and their lips touched, gently at
first, and then with increasing urgency.

Danny put his hand behind Carl's head and pulled him harder onto his
lips as Carl's tongue found his. Carl put his arm around Danny as they
kissed, their lips mashing together. Danny slipped backwards, bringing
Carl down on top of him. His arms went around Carl and clasped him
tight.

Their tongues were duelling fiercely now as Danny felt something hard
poking into his groin. With a shock he realised it was Carl's erection
and he thought, this is it, I'm kissing a man. Something Siobhan had
said flashed into his mind, this feels nice. He heard himself moan, and
somewhere inside him a dam broke, and he knew this was what he wanted,
maybe had always wanted, and would want time and time again.

The End

If you have got this far, thank you and I hope you enjoyed the story.

For non UK readers, a gooner is slang for a fan of Arsenal football
club.

Cockatoo

By Nikkie Silk

Part One

Meeting Alex

Chapter 1

It’s a cliché, isn’t it? Man comes home early and finds his wife in bed with someone else. Maybe less of a cliché in my case as the ‘someone else’ was my wife’s closest girlfriend - closest in every sense of the word.

It was a quick divorce; no kids, only a rented flat, so the only squabbles were about books and CDs. I told her to keep the lot. I wanted to make it a clean break, so I shoved all I owned into the boot of my small car. I was 26 years old, fit, healthy, and with a good but boring job in a software company near Cambridge in the UK’s version of Silicon Valley. My parents had both passed away some years earlier, so I had no ties in the UK anymore.

It was time for a change.

The company had won a contract with a global pharmaceutical company to become their principal software partner. The Pharma company had built a new production facility in Bangkok and needed a software developer to go out there for six months to sort out the programming mess their previous partner had made. I was fed up with my life and it seemed too good an opportunity to pass up. I thought I was well qualified to take on the role, so I talked to my boss who put me forward and, to my surprise I got the job.

Having heard I was going to Bangkok, my friends congratulated me and told me I was a lucky dog, and that it was the place to get over the divorce. At my leaving do, we all got drunk and one of the older guys took me to one side.

"A word of advice in your ear, my boy. Out there if you can't be good, be careful."

I winced as it's an old joke.

"No, I'm serious. I’ve been there. You should be careful in the bars."

"What do you mean, careful?"

"Well not all the girls you meet are girls. Some come with a little something extra. Check the size of their hands, probably the only thing a ladyboy can't change."

"Well, I'm not getting involved with ladyboys." I must have sounded so prim and pompous.

"James, never say never."

"Oh, have you ever, you know?"

He winked. "Have a great time, it's a fabulous city."

It took me only a few days to clear things up in the UK, and a week later I landed at Suvarnabhumi Airport. Bangkok hit me like an electric shock; the sounds and smells, the noise, the heat and humidity, the food, and even the traffic jams of the city were overwhelming to someone who’s most adventurous trip had been to Mallorca.

The company had booked an apartment for me in a building close to Taksin Bridge on the Chao Praya River. I even had a small view of the river from the apartment’s balcony if I leant out far enough. The office where I was to work was only a short river bus ride from the apartment to the Saphan Taksin Skytrain station, and then a few stops into Bangkok. The Chao Praya is a wide, muddy polluted artery snaking its way through the city past golden temples and palaces, luxury hotels and slums, carrying people and goods along its length. I loved riding the river bus to the station, watching the longtail water taxis racing like greyhounds, spraying arcs of water behind them. Hotel shuttle boats dart around between the bird beaked river buses and the long lines of huge barges, the restaurant boats, the ferries and countless other craft.

The job itself was complex but once I had broken it down into separate tasks, it started to take shape. To begin with, it took long hours to do the analysis and planning. The previous contractor had left a horrible mess, but a plan gradually emerged. This was quickly approved, and I moved on to the development phase. People in the client’s office were wary of me at first, but once they saw I was making progress, they became friendlier. They took me out a few times to dinner in some wonderful restaurants I would never have found by myself. I got to love Thai food although I did find out the hard way that ‘phet mak’ means very spicy.

Once my project had been approved and development work commenced, I had more free time to explore the city. Bangkok is much more than just temples and palaces, and I soon got the hang of bartering like a local in the markets and eating food from street stalls. I picked up some simple Thai phrases and learnt how to navigate the social customs. I liked the natural politeness and deference of the Thai people and I came to feel at home.

Out of the blue, I received an email from a friend from back home who would be passing through Bangkok on his way to his brother’s wedding in Phuket. His flights meant he had a one-night stop-over in Bangkok and he asked if he if he could stay with me for a night instead of shelling out for a hotel. The apartment had two bedrooms, so I said yes and looked forward to some company and gossip from back home.

It seems my ex had moved in with her girlfriend but it had ended badly, and they had split up. She now claimed she had only been experimenting and was telling everyone it had all been a mistake and she should never have let me go.

"Jimmy, is there any chance you two could get back together?"

"About the same as England winning the next World Cup."

He laughed, "So, none at all then. OK, I’m sorry but she asked me to sound you out. I hope you didn't mind?"

"Not at all, Robbie. The ashes of that fire are stone cold."

He had brought a bottle of good Scotch as a present and after we had polished off most of it he wanted to explore Bangkok’s red-light areas. So, already loaded, the two of us went on a tour of what Bangkok at night has to offer. The sex industry in Thailand is smaller than that of Taiwan or the Philippines. It is, however, pretty much in your face. Patpong, Soi Cowboy and Nana Plaza between them offer pretty much every sexual service you have heard of, a few you probably haven’t and some you wouldn’t even want to think about. A colleague had taken me on an ‘orientation tour’ early on, and I had seen things there that would send a good Catholic boy straight to hell. Luckily, I’m a lapsed Catholic, but as they say, once a Catholic, always a Catholic.

We did the rounds of go-go bars, getting more and more loaded as we went. We even found an Irish bar and played pool with the girls there. I fancied myself as a pool player, but got shot down in flames by a tiny Thai bar girl. It didn’t help my concentration when she bent over in front of me to play a shot or whenever I took a shot, she leant on the other side of the table where I could get a face full of her ample breasts in a tight t-shirt.

We were pretty trashed towards the end of the evening and I was ready to go back, but Robbie was only getting started.

"I want to see some ladyboys, can't be in Bangkok and not see ladyboys."

"Robbie, come on let's go back, you’ve got a flight tomorrow morning."

He tried to look at his watch, but I think he had trouble focussing.

"Ah, come on Jimmy, don’t be a pussy, there's plenty of time. Show me the ladyboys."

"Kathoeys Robbie, they’re called kathoeys here."

"Don't care what they’re called. I want to see some."

We were in Soi Cowboy by this time, and I knew there would be a ladyboy bar somewhere there. I thought if we went for a quick drink he would be happy and we could go back. We found our way to a small bar called Cockatoo. I guess I was too drunk to get the double meaning of the name that night.

Outside there were one or two girls trying to get people to go inside. Well, they looked like girls, pretty and dressed as any bar girl would be. In other words, very little. We hesitated outside, both of us nervous about going in. Robbie solved it by pushing me and I almost fell into the bar. It was small and loud inside with a dance stage along the middle with seats and small tables along each side. On the stage were girls dancing, and a few guys sat to each side of the stage watching. Even in my intoxicated state I realised they were ladyboys, but some of them I would defy anyone to tell that they weren’t genuine girls.

The Mamasan came over and found us seats close to the stage. From where we sat we were only a few feet away from the dancers. Some were dressed in tight hot pants and crop tops and some in bikinis. There were some with a giveaway bulge but others looked so smooth down there I swear they had to be real girls. Robbie nudged me and grinned, and before I could stop him he had waved two of the girls across to sit with us. The two stepped down from the stage and sat next to us. One snuggled up close and put her hand on my arm.

"What your name?"

"James."

"Jams?"

I had to smile. "No, it’s James."

"OK, Janes."

It sounded so sweet from her. "Not Janes, James."

"Ah, James." She giggled at getting it wrong. "I am Pao. James, you handsome man, buy me drink?"

I waved the Mamasan across to order a lady drink for the two girls. Pao cuddled up close and immediately put her hand on my thigh. She was wearing a bikini with the top barely covering her small breasts. Robbie’s girl already had her hand in his crotch under the table and he was grinning like a fool.

Maybe because I had far too much to drink already, or because it had been some time since I had been so physically close to someone, but the warmth from Pao’s body pressing against me and the touch of her hand on my thigh made my cock respond. Pao slid her hand to my groin and rubbed my stiffening cock beneath the table.

"You like, James?" I nodded, and she giggled again, wriggled even closer and moved my hand under the table into her crotch and I felt something in my hand. I was so startled it took me a few seconds to realise it was her cock I was touching. She had eased down her bikini bottom and pushed my hand around it. It felt warm and soft and twitched in my fingers. She put her hand over mine and moved my hand so I was stroking her cock. I felt it getting harder and her hand kept me from pulling my hand away. Pao was still rubbing my cock with her other hand and I was getting hard. This shouldn’t be happening. I was stroking someone else’s cock, and it was giving me an erection. My mind was spinning from the alcohol and the flood of desire threatening to overwhelm me. This was getting too weird for me and I had to summon all my mental strength to move my hand away from her cock.

"You no like, James?"

I shook my head, "No, I mean I don’t know, maybe, oh shit, I don’t know."

I was dizzy, confused by everything I was feeling. Pao was still energetically rubbing my cock, and I was hard by now and squirming around. She leant in and whispered in my ear, "We can go short time if you like, James?"

This was where it got too much for me and I stood up and ran out of the bar. Robbie came out after me a few minutes later and asked what was wrong. "I’m shit faced, feel sick, too much drink, going to throw up" was all I could think of. He wanted to go back in because he was enjoying himself, so I grabbed a tuk-tuk back to my flat, my mind still reeling from what had happened.

Robbie made it back to the flat in time to grab his gear and leave for his flight to Phuket. I didn’t ask him about what he had got up to but he looked embarrassed and I could only wonder what had gone on after I had left.

I tried to forget what had happened in Cockatoo with Pao, but it kept coming back to me. How I had been so aroused by Pao and above all how I had felt when I touched her cock. To be honest, my sex life up to that point had been unadventurous to say the least. I had always been what you might call vanilla in my tastes. Maybe that's why my wife had been ‘experimenting’ with her best friend. Mine had been a sheltered upbringing, growing up in a small village in Leicestershire and going to local single sex private schools. Even university didn’t bring a rebellious phase, and I spent most of my time buried in books or computers. I didn’t have many girlfriends and my first serious one led to my marriage. In the sexual adventure stakes, I was a non-runner. To deal with what happened in Cockatoo, I fell back on most guys’ default excuse and blamed the alcohol. I was straight and had been drunk and horny. I needed to find a girlfriend that was all.

It was probably inevitable after the night in Cockatoo I became more curious about kathoeys. A colleague explained that Buddhism teaches there are more than two genders, and as nearly all Thais are Buddhist, it’s one reason why kathoeys are accepted in Thai society. It probably helps that the Thai physique helps kathoeys to pass more easily as female. My colleague asked if I had known there was a kathoey in the office. I was surprised because I hadn’t suspected a thing. However, acceptance is not equality, and it's not always easy for a kathoey in everyday life.

After three month’s hectic work, I fancied a break and a few days away on the beach somewhere. I asked around and somebody suggested an island called Koh Samui in the Gulf of Thailand. It was only a short flight from Bangkok and sounded just what I was looking for. I mentioned that I was going there in an email to a friend back home. He emailed back that one of our university friends, Alex, whom I had lost touch with a while back, was living on Samui. I remember he had gone to Thailand after university on a gap year and had never come back. My friend thought Alex was running a hotel or something out there. He had an email address and suggested I see if he was still there.

God, Alex’s name brought back memories. He had been something of a wild child at University, but unlike me he didn’t have to work too hard to get his degree. I had scraped a 2:1 with a lot of hard work and sweat whilst he got a First, almost it seemed, without trying. He had been ridiculously good looking, and he partied hard, always with a few girls hanging around at any one time which had made me jealous back then. He had an easy charm that seemed to attract everyone. We had shared a student house for a year and whilst we weren’t exactly close he was always friendly. I was struggling with my coursework at the time and never seemed to find the time to accept any of his invites for drinks or parties.

I suspect he thought I was too uptight for his liking and I always felt he invited me only because we shared the house. The only time we got close had been at his drink sodden farewell party. He told me he had enjoyed the time we had known each other that I was a great guy, and he hoped I would not forget him. Giving me a big hug, he made me promise I would look him up if our paths crossed again. He mumbled something about regrets and missed chances, but I think I had been too drunk to make much of it that night. That had been the last I saw of him. He went to Thailand and fell off our radar.

I hesitated about getting in touch with him. It would be good to catch up, yet did I want to look backwards? I had come to Thailand to make a fresh start. However, I remembered my promise to look him up if our paths crossed, and I believe promises should be kept. I was also intrigued to find out what had happened to him. So, curiosity and politeness won, and I dashed off an email, half expecting not to get a reply. To my surprise, I got an email back the following day with a phone number and a request to call before leaving for Samui. It was a terrible line when I did call, but we eventually understood each other and he told me to get in touch when I had checked into my hotel. He told me it wasn’t a hotel, he was running a bar and restaurant in Lamai Beach. I said I was on a late flight and he told me not to worry, I was to call whatever time I checked in.

It was only on the flight to Samui that I realised how tired I had become. Weeks of working long hours had taken their toll on me, and I needed the chance to unwind and get some rest and relaxation. I arrived on a late flight from Bangkok so I could maximise the time I spent on the island, and it was midnight when I arrived at the hotel after the typical Thai taxi ride from hell. It was late, so I wondered about ringing Alex but he had told me not to worry about how late it was. When I got to my room, I called the number and sure enough Alex answered after a few rings. There was a lot of music in the background and he had to shout to make himself heard. We agreed that I would come on over to the bar the next evening. It was called Koh Samui Blue, and to tell the taxi driver the name and he would know it. Had I done the right thing? Too late tonight to worry. I crashed out and slept like a log.

Samui is a beautiful island and the hotel I had booked was idyllic. A small boutique hotel, it lay right on a beautiful tropical beach fringed with palm trees. It was perfect for my needs, and I idled my first day away, lounging in the sun with an unread paperback on the table beside me. I mixed up the sun bathing with frequent dips in the pool and swimming in the sea. Lunch passed with Singha beers and in mid-afternoon I called it a day. An hour or so of sleep left me feeling refreshed and relaxed. It’s crazy how quickly you can unwind if you are in the right place. I wondered again if I was doing the right thing by meeting Alex, and I imagined he would be running some dingy side street dive. It would be cowardly to pull out now and if it was too bad, I could always make my excuses and leave.

As agreed I headed out about seven o’clock. Alex had said things didn’t get going until late, but we could get some food and reconnect. The taxi driver knew the name straight away, and we headed off to Lamai Beach. It’s basically one long street with bars, massage shops and restaurants lined up on both sides of the road with the beach behind one side. The taxi pulled up outside a newish looking two story building with a darkened plate glass window running almost the full width of a large neon sign ‘Koh Samui Blue’ over the window.

So far so good I thought, not too shabby at all. It was humid outside, but the door opened I felt the welcome chill of the air conditioning. The bar was a mixture of styles with modern abstract art on the walls and more traditional Thai looking sculptures in recessed shelves lit from behind. Pure Alex, I thought. There were some early drinkers seated on sofas and at the bar itself which ran for most of the length of the room. Some Oscar Peterson, one of my favourites, was playing in the background and there looked to be a stage area at one end for what could be live music. I regretted my image of it being a dive. I should have known Alex wouldn't have changed that much. As I stood there, not sure what to do, a Thai girl emerged from the back of the bar and greeted me with both hands together in a wai.

"Sawasdee Ka. Are you James?"

"Saswadee Krab," I returned the wai as I had learnt to do since arriving in Thailand.

"Yes, I'm here to see Alex."

"Please, would you follow me?" She led me through to a room behind the bar. I noticed CCTVs showing the bar and some other rooms. I guessed she had watched me enter and then came out to greet me. She wore a beautiful long dark blue silk dress in traditional Thai style and she moved with the grace and poise of someone who had been taught how to walk properly. She led me along a corridor and knocked at a door before opening it and allowing me to enter first. Standing up from behind a desk and smiling broadly at me was a tall blonde woman.

"I’m so sorry, I thought Alex was in here, I’m here to meet him."

"James, it’s me. I’m Alex." She had stopped a few feet from me and held out her arms. "It’s great to see you here."

"No, I mean, Alex. Alex Hassall, is he here?" I started to feel a complete fool as there had obviously been a huge mistake.

"James, it is me, Alex Hassall. Class of 2009, we shared a house on the Grimthorpe Road."

"No, no, This isn't right. You can’t be Alex, what's going on?"

"James, come and sit down, you look a little pale." She moved forwards and took my arm and moved me to a chair and I sat down with a bump. My head reeled and I felt like I was going to faint. I must be ill.

"Do you want some water? Or something stronger, maybe?" She squatted down next to me and I could look straight into her eyes. It was then I noticed something familiar.

"You’ve got Alex’s eye." Alex’s eyes were hazel but in his right one there had always been a small dark brown quadrant in the cornea. It was a genetic mutation, and only noticeable if you looked directly into the eye.

"I mean, you have the same thing in your eye as Alex," I was babbling now.

"James, that would be entirely, natural, I think, as it is me." She smiled even more broadly.

"How? I mean what’s happened? How is this possible?"

She pulled her long blonde hair back from her face and it was then that the penny dropped. Everyone thought Alex was good-looking back at Uni, and many of the girls had even said he was pretty. As she held her hair back, I could see Alex’s face smiling back at me.

"Oh, my God," I couldn’t think of anything more original to say, "It is you."

Chapter 2

She smiled and stood up, took my hand and pulled me to my feet. "Come on James, give me a hug."

She pulled me into a hug and instinctively I hugged her back. She was about my height but I think she was wearing heels as I remembered Alex being shorter than me.

"That’s better," she released the hug but held onto my arms as she stood back and looked me up and down. "Damn, it’s good to see you, James. You’re looking well. I have a million questions to ask you. Come on let’s have a drink and you can tell me what you’ve been up to."

"You’ve got questions? Don’t you think I’ve got a few?" My senses were returning after the shock.

"Oh, OK, but first let me introduce you to Areeya, she’s my business partner and soulmate."

I turned around and the Thai girl who had brought me through from the bar was standing there.

"Areeya, meet James, James, meet Areeya." Alex’s eyes sparkled as she made the introductions.

Areeya made a wai and remembering my Thai manners I did so in return.

"It’s delightful to meet you, James. Any friend of Alex is welcome here." She spoke softly and with only a slight accent.

"I’m pleased to meet you too, Areeya." I replied. Her hair was swept back in Thai fashion and this emphasised the beauty of her face. I thought she was stunningly pretty.

"Alex, if you don’t mind I have a few things to attend to before we get busy tonight, so can I leave you and James to catch up and I’ll join you later if I may?"

"Of course, Areeya. Let me know if there’s anything you need me to do." She turned and walked out the door.

Alex saw me looking. "She’s gorgeous, isn’t she? Went to the American University in Bangkok, graduated with an MBA. She’s clever as well as beautiful. But let me tell you all over dinner. I promise I will answer your questions but what brings you to Samui? How long have you been over here? How long can you stay? What are you doing in Thailand, anyway?" This was the Alex I remembered, a million questions a minute.

Alex led me through a second door into a small room decorated in Thai style.

"You like Thai food?" she asked.

I nodded, "I love it since I’ve been here." I could smell the aroma of garlic, onion, fish sauce and lemon grass cooking. "Mmm, that smells good, Alex."

"We have a restaurant at the back facing the sea and the kitchen is on the side here. This is our private lounge. Let’s get you a drink." Alex must have signalled somehow because the door opened and a small Thai girl entered.

"What can we get you, James?"

"I think I need a stiff Scotch."

Alex laughed. "Is Laphraoig OK? I assume you didn’t mean Thai whisky. I remember you were a Whisky snob at Uni."

I was surprised and pleased that Alex had remembered what I drank.

"Manee, that will be a large Laphraoig for our guest and a fruit juice for me please."

I tried not to stare but I couldn’t drag my eyes from Alex. Blonde hair tumbled down onto and over her shoulders, and her tanned skin looked flawless. Pink nails matched her lipstick, and she wore what looked like diamond studs in her ears. She was wearing a beautiful red print silk dress with a vee neck plunging almost to her navel. I still could not believe what I was seeing; the woman in front of me was gorgeous. As I looked at her, I saw hints of the old Alex showing through, like the way she held her head slightly to one side and looked sideways at you.

"Well, what do you think?"

"Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to stare."

"Hey, don’t worry; I would too in your place. But, honestly, how do I look?"

"Well, I think I’m still in complete shock, but would you it upset you if I said you look beautiful?"

She giggled, "James, no, I never mind anyone telling me that, even if they are in shock."

"Why didn’t you tell me, Alex? Give me a hint? You gave me the surprise of my life."

"I’m sorry for that, but would you have ever come if I had told you that your old Uni mate was now living as a woman?"

"I don’t know, maybe. To be honest, I still can’t quite believe it. What happened? I knew you came to Thailand on a gap year but then you dropped out of sight."

The drinks arrived, and we paused while Manee put them down. There were two couches in the room and a low table. Alex invited me to sit down on one and she sat on the other crossing her legs, giving me a lovely glimpse of thigh.

"Kap khun ka, Manee, thank you."

“Cheers, James. God, it's so good to see you again.” We clinked glasses, and I took a big swig of the whisky.

“Likewise, Alex, but I’m a little confused at the moment. I mean how did this happen?”

"OK, James, I’ll tell you my story, and then I’ll answer your questions. Is that OK?"

I nodded, and she took a sip of her juice before continuing. "It’s pretty simple, I had always been fascinated by Thailand, and I did the whole place, backpacking all the way. Thailand is several countries rolled into one. The north is different from the south and Bangkok, is well, Bangkok. I loved it all and soon I learnt enough Thai to get by."

She paused and crossed her legs again and I had to force myself not to look.

"After about six months I pitched up in Bangkok and did the usual tourist red light stuff. Frankly, it was pretty awful until one night in Nana Plaza I dropped into a bar there and met some of the kathoeys. You know what I mean, kathoey?"

"Yes, I know what you mean."

"Well, to cut a long story short, whatever it was I became attracted to them." She paused and frowned slightly, "Not in the usual way, but I became fascinated by the transformation they underwent and how they were able to change from boys to girls, or something in between. I got to know a few of them and as I didn’t want them for sex, and once they realised I wasn’t a threat, they tolerated me as a hanger on, I guess. Anyway, one night some of the girls, maybe sensing something in me I probably didn’t realise myself, told me I could be pretty if I wanted to be. Looking back, I think I was a bit high that night." She paused and looked me in the eye. "Are you sure you want the full story?"

I nodded. I was now hooked into her story. I wanted to hear this right through to the end.

“OK, here’s where it gets freaky.” Alex paused to take a sip of the juice. “As I said, I may have been high that night, and I gave in. I guess the girls were bored, or maybe they were up to tease a compliant farang. Anyway, they stripped me, washed my hair and shaved me. My hair was pretty long by then so they sat me down, styled my hair and made my face up. They wouldn’t let me see what they were doing, I had to sit there while they did it. I must have been high to let them do it. The girls at Uni sometimes called me a pretty boy if you remember.”

We paused as Manee returned to the room with fresh drinks. Alex at this point seemed off in a different world and her eyes were focussed on something far, far away.

"After they had finished playing with me as their little doll, they made me put on a bra and knickers." She snorted, "Made me? No, I think I was pretty willing at this point. I was always slight in build, and six months of backpacking my weight had dropped even further. I put on a dress they had found which fitted me and they were giggling like crazy all the time. But when they had finished, I saw their faces change. They became excited and were high fiving each other and talking in Thai far too fast for me to follow. At this point one of them uncovered a full length mirror they had in the room and let me see. Honestly, I expected to see an ugly guy in drag staring back at me from the mirror." She paused, I guessed she was thinking back to that moment. She blinked away what I thought was a tear. "To tell you the truth, James, I didn’t recognise myself in the mirror at all. No. I didn’t look like a model but I didn’t look rubbish. I looked like an averagely pretty girl. The girls were so happy and excited. They dragged in the other bar girls to see and they were all giggling and laughing but not at me in a bad way. They were surprised and pleased with what they had done. Well, that night was the first night I spent with the kathoeys and I got introduced to a whole new way of life."

She took another sip and did that sideways look that Alex always did. "Is this too much for you?"

"No no, it’s fine, don’t stop." I was now desperate to hear the rest of the story.

“That night was an epiphany for me. I’d had gay experiences over the years, at school and Uni so I wasn’t totally naïve about giving and taking a cock.”

I had no idea about the gay thing as he had always had girls hanging around but looking back, maybe he had gone both ways. The bluntness shocked me, but I would be damned if I wanted her to stop telling her story.

"This was different, though, wearing girls clothes, and getting fucked by the kathoeys and fucking and sucking them back was so liberating. I felt that somehow I had found myself at long last."

I was in thrall to Alex’s story. In fact, I had to move a little in the chair as my cock became stiff. Alex seemed not to notice and kept going almost as if I wasn’t there.

"I spent more and more time with the girls and they basically taught me how to be a kathoey. They coached me in how to walk and move and behave as they did. The sex was awesome; I couldn’t get enough of it. The Mamasan at the bar was not so happy at all this and was getting uptight about the time the girls spent with me. I was loving it all; the cross dressing, the sex, the excitement, and I don’t think I could have given it up even if I had wanted to. I had gotten myself clean of other drugs but this was now my drug, and I was living full time as a girl. By this time, I was also running short of money and one night the girls told me they asked the Mamasan if I could work in the bar with them. She thought it was crazy because all the farangs wanted Thai girls. The girls persisted, and eventually the Mamasan agreed to give it a go."

Manee brought another round of drinks and some snacks.

"The first night I was scared rigid, but the girls looked after me, and although the westerners didn’t seem to be interested in the blonde kathoey, a party of Japanese men came in and one of them took me for a short time. The bar had rooms at the back where after the customer had paid a bar fine for the girl we could conduct our business. I didn’t speak any Japanese, and he didn’t speak English, but it’s incredible what you can do with sign language. I think I did alright that first time because he gave me a big tip and he came back again the next night. It was pretty easy most of the time. The clients wanted me to suck them off which usually didn’t take long, or to fuck me which did take some getting used to. Some wanted me to fuck them and I even had few couples which was my favourite. I like giving and receiving."

She smiled wickedly at this, and my trousers needed adjustment again.

"I found that not only the Japanese but Thai men also wanted to come in to see the blonde kathoey. It got dodgy once or twice but the bar sorted out most of the bad customers and once all the bar girls chased a guy out into the street who tried to get too rough with me."

Alex seemed to be in a world of her own, and I wondered if she had ever told this story to anyone else. I dare not interrupt but another adjustment of my trousers became necessary.

"This went on for about six months and I was now living full time as a kathoey. I had left my old life way behind, had burned all my old clothes and dropped out. I had developed a real reputation as the blonde kathoey and life seemed OK. Then, one day the Mamasan told me a farang lawyer had come looking for me. How this guy tracked me down I don’t know because I thought I had dropped well below the radar. But find me he did. I thought it was something about overstaying my visa. It, however, turned out that an Auntie of mine had died and as her sole heir I had inherited her estate. It wasn’t millions but enough to enable me to leave the bar life behind and set myself up as an escort instead. Same fucking and sucking, but better pay and conditions. I could afford to get out completely, but I loved what I was doing, is that a bad thing?"

She paused and seemed to notice me for the first time in a while.

"Not boring you, am I?"

"No. No, it’s interesting," I could have kicked myself; interesting? What idiot says that? An English idiot that’s who. It wasn’t boring that’s for sure.

She smiled at something before going on. "I was already living full time as a woman and could pass easily. I had always been small and slight and took hormones so my voice and body hair growth was not a problem. In Bangkok, it’s easy to get a boob job and they are also world class at cosmetic surgery to get rid of certain male characteristics. As I could afford the best so I had my boobs done, my Adam’s apple scraped and few other bits and pieces done to enhance my natural charms. I didn’t go the whole hog though and held onto my cock.” She looked straight at me. “I am fond of that."

I didn't understand why, but I was getting aroused by her story. Another adjustment of the trousers was needed.

"After about another six more months of earning good money from my escort work, I decided I needed a break. I rented a villa on the beach a little further north from here for three months. I came to look at the local bar scene here, from a professional point of view. It was awful. The usual crappy tourist bars you would find anywhere. It gave me an idea. Why not set something up a lot classier than what was already here? I had fallen in love with Samui and it seemed the ideal place. The idea for Koh Samui Blue was born. I looked around and got in touch with Real Estate agents to see what was on offer."

Manee brought in another round of drinks. I was beginning to feel light headed.

Alex was still talking. "That’s when I met Areeya. She was working in her father’s Real Estate agency and we hit it off straightaway. I don’t know why but we clicked right away. It went from a business relationship to a personal one quickly. She knew what I was, it’s hardest to fool other women. Men don’t know what to look for. Generally, they only look at tits and arses anyway. Present company excepted, of course."

I blushed because she had caught me looking straight at her breasts at that moment.

"She knew what I was, but it didn’t matter to her. I was so nervous at first but she is such a lovely girl she made things so easy. She is incredibly clever, funny and dynamite in bed. Between the two of us we have everything we need to keep us happy together in bed."

Another trouser adjustment was necessary. This time Alex noticed, "James, are you OK?"

I nodded, "No it’s OK, please go on," and I swear she smirked and sat up straighter in her chair, giving me another good view of her breasts. She did that thing women do by running their fingers through their hair. It gets me every time.

She went on. "We talked about my idea and we came up with a business plan for the bar and restaurant. In Thailand, non-foreigners can’t buy land on their own so the obvious thing was for us to go into partnership. It’s easy as long as you trust each other and have a good lawyer. That’s assuming, of course, there is such a thing as a good lawyer. Anyway, I had the seed money, together with a bank loan that Areeya’s business plan allowed us to get. We paid off everyone who we needed to, and that’s a lot over here."

She narrowed her eyes as if remembering some bad times."

"So, we built the bar first, got that going and expanded to build the restaurant to go with it. We wanted to keep the bar and restaurant classy which we have but we did add another bar down the street which is more, shall we say, in the style of my old career. We can go have a look later if you like."

She looked straight at me over the top of the glass as if she were daring me.

"Oh, yes, that would be nice, if it’s not too much trouble." Nice? Nice? I screamed at myself inside my head. Who says "nice" about visiting a ladyboy bar? She must think I’m a bloody fool.

"That’s you up to date with me, James. What about you? Which twist of fate brought you here?" Alex relaxed back into her chair waiting for me to begin.

At this moment Areeya reappeared apologised for interrupting and whispered something to Alex.

"James, I’m sorry but there’s a little issue I need to attend to. I promise I won’t be more than a few minutes."

As she stood, I pushed back my chair to stand up.

"Oh, James, that’s so sweet of you. That’s what I always remember about you, you were a perfect gentleman. I’ll let you and Areeya get to know each other."

With that, she leaned in and gave me a peck on the cheek. I blushed scarlet and sat down again.

"James, how long will you be staying on Samui?" Areeya’s English was almost perfect, a hint of an accent making it sound so sexy.

"Only a few days I’m afraid, Areeya, I have to be back in Bangkok by the end of the week."

"That’s a pity, James, but Bangkok is so close by plane these days. You could easily fly back anytime. Alex was so happy to learn you were coming here. She would love to see you again."

Wow, I thought, that was unexpected. They must have talked about me yesterday or today. I never dreamt that old or new Alex would be so happy to see me.

"Areeya, it was to shock for me to see Alex as she is now. She is different to how I knew her before."

It was strange how I had slipped into calling Alex she and her. Maybe not so surprising, given that she looked so damned gorgeous.

"James, yes, I saw that when you walked in, but you dealt with it well."

"How so, Areeya?" Given my performance back then I was surprised to hear it.

"Well you could have got angry and been unpleasant about everything. Instead you were calm and listened to what Alex had to say."

‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ was almost a mantra for me to be honest.

"I was more worried than Alex, James. I thought she should find some way to prepare you but she told me you were a kind and generous soul as well as a gentleman and would behave like one. I’m so glad she was right." Areeya gave my arm a little squeeze to reinforce what she had said.

Wow and wow again, I thought. Alex thought I was a gentleman. Who knew? I thought he had me pegged as an upright square. Maybe they are the same thing.

"Areeya, it’s an incredible story. What strength of character Alex must have to have done what she has and to end up so balanced and adjusted. I admire her for that. She chose a hard road, but she seems to have come through to a good place. I think she is lucky to have found you, Areeya, you two seem happy together. I am so glad for Alex and for you too."

"Thank you, James, Alex would be glad to hear you say that. She is fond of the memories she has of you, she hasn’t stopped talking about you since she learnt you were coming to see us."

Wow and wow and wow again. Fond memories? Mind you, it did make me sound like an old family pet.

Areeya continued in a serious tone, "James, Alex means so much to me and all I ever want is for her to be happy. I think you can help her in ways you might not realise. I think you have a great opportunity to help Alex and I hope you act wisely, James.'

"Areeya, I promise you if I can do anything to help her I will."

At that moment, Alex walked back into the room, beaming all over her face. She came and stood behind me, with her hands resting on my shoulders. "It's all good, Areeya, ready to go." I felt a thrill at the touch of her hands. "James, it's a new business venture we are starting here. Looks like we have the go ahead."

She kept her hands on my shoulders and gave them a little squeeze before letting go.

"Alex, that’s great news. Shall we celebrate?"

"Good idea, Areeya, can you ask Manee to bring through some proper Champagne and three glasses for us please?"

Areeya rose gracefully from the couch and went to tell Manee. She was back in an instant.

Alex came and sat next to me on the couch. I smelt her perfume and her leg briefly touched mine. She brushed my arm with her fingers, "James, you were going to tell us about yourself and how you came to be here in Samui."

"Not that much to tell, Alex. After we lost touch, I graduated, got a job with a computer software company in Cambridge. I got married and life kind of stalled after that. Until, that is, I walked in on my wife in bed with another woman.”

Alex giggled. “I’m sorry, James. It must have been a shock.” A wicked grin spread across her face. ”Weren't you tempted to climb in bed with them?”

Areeya slapped Alex on the arm. “Alex, that's rude.”

Alex was still smiling. “Just asking”

“I was cut up about it at first, but looking back it's the best thing that’s happened to me.”

“Good for you, James. I hope we can find a way to help you get over it.” Was there a message in what Alex had said? Maybe I was getting too sensitive.

The Champagne had arrived, so we toasted the success of my new start and their new business venture. Alex, leant back, giving me another eyeful of her legs.

“What do you think of Bangkok? Have you seen the sights?”

"Yes, I’ve done all the tourist stuff. It’s a beautiful city. It was the right place to come to get over my divorce."

Alex grinned. "How about the nightlife, James? Have you taken any of that in?"

"Well, yes, it’s a kind of rite of passage isn’t it for newcomers to Bangkok."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Erm, yes, well, some of it, I mean..."

"I believe you're blushing, James. That's so sweet. And did you go to the bars in Nana Plaza?" She bloody winked as she said it. She was enjoying this, teasing me.

Areeya laughed and came to my rescue, "Alex, I think you are embarrassing our guest. You should let him off the hook, is that what you say?"

Thanks Areeya, I thought.

Alex laughed too. "Yes, yes, you’re right Areeya. I remember James always did blush prettily. By the way, James, how did you know to find me here?"

“I told one the guys from Uni that I was coming here for a holiday and he suggested I look you up.”

"That was a stroke of luck, then. Only a few people know I’m out here."

"Alex, can I ask you a question?" there was something I wanted to know.

"Sure, James, fire away."

"Why did you agree to meet me? I mean you could easily have said you were too busy, or ignore the email. Unless you wanted to see me get the shock of my life."

"Yes, apologies again for the shock, I’m not sure there was anything I could have done to avoid it. It’s a fair question. Why did I agree to meet?" she paused, thinking about her answer. "When I came out to Thailand, I never intended to stay, always planned to go back and do something in the UK. But when my life over here changed, I fully intended to disappear for good. But as time went on, I felt more and more that I was missing some parts of my old life. I gave my email address to one or two people I trusted and told them to use it discreetly. They don’t know about me, they know Alex is here in Samui. That’s how you got the address. I guess he felt you fell under the term discrete. When you made contact, I had to think hard about whether I wanted to meet someone from the past. You can imagine that it was a difficult decision to make and one I wouldn’t do for anyone. As it was you I decided to make the step and reconnect with someone I knew I could trust. So, I took my courage in both hands and said yes. Does that help?"

"Sort of, but what do you mean as it was me?"

She put a finger to my lips to silence me. "No more questions for now, James, are you hungry?

I realised I was starving. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast and lunch had been beer and some nuts. It was now 11pm, and I realised we had been talking for four hours already. I had had four or five large Scotches and now the Champagne on an empty stomach and I was getting pretty light headed.

Alex clapped her hands together, "James, I have an idea. Areeya and I have to visit our bar down the street. It’s not far."

"And you want me to stay here, until you come back?"

She lightly punched my arm. "No, don’t be bloody silly, we want you to come with us. We’ll have a few drinks and then come back for some food. The kitchen will still be open. There’ll be fewer people around so we can be more comfortable. Please say yes, please say yes."

How could anyone refuse such an invitation? "OK, I’m up for it."

She squealed with joy, grabbing my arm and pulling me out the door. As we reached the main bar, Areeya caught us up and put her arm through mine on the other side. I walked the entire length of the bar with a drop dead gorgeous woman on either arm. The envious glares I got from the bar customers were a wonder to behold. We walked down the strip in Lamai for a few hundred yards until we came to the bar. I was startled to see it was called Cockatoo 2.

"Where did you get the name from?" I asked Areeya.

"Oh, it’s because our sister bar in Bangkok is called Cockatoo. We thought it was funny. Do you know it in Bangkok?" I swear she was reading my mind.

"No, no. Do you own that one too?"

"No, it's an arrangement we have with them. We try to share overheads and things." A little warning bell went off somewhere in the back of my mind.

Alex was bouncing up and down with excitement.

"Come on you two, stop dragging your heels, let’s get in," she was bubbling over with energy. She grabbed both of us and almost dragged us into the bar.

It was a typical Thai bar; open to the front, a bar along one side, TVs all over the place and three pool tables towards the back. Music blared out from the sound system, which for a Thai bar sounded good. It was busy now with two of the pool tables in use and groups of guys and a few couples drinking at the bar or the tables. There were a few of the usual bar games of Connect 4 going on. Connect 4 may be a child’s game, but it’s used in Thai bars as an icebreaker game or to bet on with the loser buying a drink. If you think you can beat a Thai bar girl at the game, think again. If it was an Olympic sport, Thai bar girls would win every medal. There was even a cockatoo in a cage in the corner of the bar. I felt sorry for the bird in the middle of all this noise and light, but he didn’t seem to mind too much.

Areeya stopped to talk to the Mamasan, presumably to check on business. Alex was busy talking to the bar girls and they didn’t seem to regard her as a boss figure. Maybe because she spoke fluent Thai and had been one of them, they seemed to be on good terms. One of the bar girls handed me a beer and pointed to Alex, "On house, Miss Alex." OK, good start.

It seemed to be a typical crowd; groups of young tourists, some dissolute looking expats nursing a cold beer and looking typically grumpy, together with one or two couples along for the Thai bar experience. The bar girls were a mixed bunch, mostly kathoeys I thought, but with some genuine girls. I guessed there would be a few short time rooms out the back. The girls didn’t look too busy and Areeya shooed a few of the prettier ones out front to drum up business.

Alex came bouncing across grabbed my arm and asked, "Do you play pool?"

"I’ve played a bit." I hoped modesty was the right approach.

I secretly fancied myself as a player, having conveniently forgotten getting my arse handed to me by the bar girl in Bangkok last time. I hoped Alex wouldn’t be as good as her.

She dragged me over to the unused table, grabbed two cues and racked the balls in a professional manner.

"You break first," handing me a cue. I rolled the cue on the table and it seemed straight enough for a bar cue. I took a swig from the beer bottle and settled down to break.

Alex had to make it difficult by standing in my eye line and pulling faces. I stopped laughing long enough to make a good break and fluked a colour in the pocket. I knocked in another colour and then had trouble deciding what shot to play next. Areeya came over and gave me some advice on which ball to go for.

“Areeya,” she yelled, “Stop helping him, that's cheating.”

In spite of this I pulled off a third colour with a blinder of a shot. Encouraged by this, and the desire to show off to Alex I over reached myself on the next one, clipped the lip of the pocket and the ball hung there without dropping.

Alex reacted with glee and chalked her cue. My Dad always told me that a bad player chalks a cue after a shot, and a good one before a shot. Well I could tell I was in trouble with Alex pretty much from the start. It was clear from the way she handled the cue she was good. She dropped the first ball with a flourish and then put away the next 4 with embarrassing ease. Mind you it was nice to watch as she had to hitch up her skirt to play the shots and it showed off what a lovely figure she had as the material stretched tight across her bum. I got a chance when she missed the sixth but I flunked out my shot and she hit great shots to pot her next two balls. That Left the 8 ball, and she stroked that in like a professional. It seems you can take the girl out of the bar but you can’t take the bar out of the girl.

I stood and clapped. She curtseyed, "Thank you, kind sir."

She wanted another game, but she was way out of my league and I didn’t fancy another humiliation right now. I saw Areeya pick up the cue and she and Alex had a cracking game. Areeya was good but Alex was that bit better. They played three quick games with Areeya taking one and Alex the other two. My consolation was to sit and drink beer and watch my two new friends as they bent over the table to take shots.

It was at the end of the third game I felt someone’s hands over my eyes and from behind I heard a voice say, "James, James, it me, Pao.'

I pulled the hands away and the first thing I saw was Alex, leaning over the table frozen in mid shot with her mouth open in surprise. Pao was oblivious to this and before I could stop her she had scooted round and jumped onto my lap with her arms around my neck.

"James, you come see Pao in Samui."

Hell, it couldn’t be, could it? Pao from the Bangkok Cockatoo?

I saw Alex over Pao’s shoulder as she walked around the table to where I was with Pao sitting happily on my lap.

"James," Alex was still looking startled, "is there anything you want to tell us?" She stopped in front of Pao and me, holding the cue as if she wanted to break it over someone’s head. She just wasn't sure who to hit first.

Pao suddenly noticed that there was something wrong, and she turned around, saw Alex and jumped off my lap. Alex said something fast in Thai and Pao bowed her head. Alex motioned with her head for Pao to move and she backed away. Areeya grabbed her before she could disappear completely.

"Well, James, it’s interesting that you and Pao know each other so well, there must be a simple explanation?" There was a grin playing about her lips now.

I was rooted to the spot. Words jangled around in my head and I said some of them.

"Um, well, Alex, you see, it’s not like, I mean, it was all Robbie’s fault, I mean not his fault, I was trying to..." I realised I was babbling so thought the best thing to do was to shut up.

"James, first of all, calm down and then who the hell is Robbie?" she stood there cradling the pool cue, legs slightly apart so the silk dress stretched tight across her body, the bar lights highlighting her golden hair and her head tilted to one side with a questioning look on her face. Quite bizarrely in the circumstances, it flashed into my mind that she looked so damn sexy.

I took a deep breath and took a swig from the beer, Areeya had brought Pao back and they stood to one side of Alex as she looked down at me.

"You see, it was like this. I met Pao in the Cockatoo in Bangkok one night. Robbie’s a friend of mine from home wanted to see some ladyboys and we ended up in the Cockatoo. I met her in the bar and we had a drink and she was friendly and then I went home, all above board, so to speak, I didn’t think she would remember me..." I tailed off, hoping I had made sense.

"James, how friendly, exactly?" Alex fired off a question to Pao who nodded her head and replied.

"Well nothing happened, you know what’s like in one of those clubs, it was harmless, honestly..." Even I knew that sounded pathetic.

"Oh, yes James, I do know what it’s like in those clubs, remember?" Alex was grinning broadly now, enjoying my discomfort. Areeya was trying to conceal her laughter and failing badly. Pao was still looking from me to Alex and Areeya trying to decide if she was in trouble, and if so, why.

"Look it wasn’t Pao’s fault, she was sweet and nice and I didn’t know she would be here."

Alex said something to Areeya who let go of Pao.

"We share staff with Bangkok sometimes when we need to," Areeya was smiling at my embarrassment.

"James, Pao confirms your story, that there were two of you, and you were a gentleman, she says. Your friend was the one who stayed behind after you left. He seems to have enjoyed himself rather a lot."

I took another swig of beer and tried to look innocent.

Chapter 3

Alex looked at me for a few seconds as if making up her mind about something, took my hand and pulled me up, "James, I always thought you were a perfect gentleman, come on I think we should go eat."

The strange thing was she didn’t let go of my hand as we walked out of the bar.

We walked slowly back to Koh Samui Blue, the action had kicked off now. The bars were full and spilling over into the street. As we walked past each bar front, the girls nodded and smiled to Alex who was obviously well known to them. I was given a few long looks by them as well.

I heard this dark voice in my head saying "You’re holding hands with a man," and then there was this second, much lighter voice saying "Look at her, she’s a beautiful woman, that’s who you’re holding hands with."

I decided to keep holding her hand.

Alex giggled, "I can’t imagine how you felt when Pao jumped onto your lap. The look on your face was priceless."

"I don’t think I have felt more embarrassed in my life. I never expected to see her again in my life." I felt myself blushing again. Damn it, I wish I could stop myself doing that so much.

Alex grinned as she spoke, "They say an Englishman is a man in permanent fear of embarrassment."

I smiled at that, "By the way, Alex, the look on your face was pretty good too when you saw what was happening. You looked gobsmacked." I had to get my own back somehow.

"I couldn’t believe my eyes when one of my bar girls jumps onto the lap of my lovely man and greets him like a long lost friend."

My lovely man, that was nice to hear her say.

"I was about to bust the cue over one of your heads, but I couldn't decide which one." She was laughing now, and it started me off too.

"Alex, I’m glad you didn’t. Believe me, you are too damned good with that cue."

She turned to face me, grabbed my other hand too and pulled me in for another kiss on the cheek.

"I’m glad I didn’t. I wouldn’t want to mess up that handsome face of yours." She was smiling as she said it and her eyes didn’t leave mine. Oh my, what was happening here? Was it the beer talking? Because at that moment I wanted to kiss her so badly.

Instead I spluttered, "Any chance we can eat something? I’m starving."

"Of course," she grinned, and we walked into the restaurant, still holding hands.

Areeya was dealing with something at the bar so Alex said we should go ahead and order and Areeya would join us later.

It was getting late at the restaurant but there were still some diner finishing their meals. As a good hostess, Alex left me with a Scotch at the bar, and did a tour of the tables. She would wai to each table and then ask if the guests had enjoyed their meals. She spoke English mostly, but at tables with locals she switched into fluent Thai. I had learned to love the sound of the Thai language; its rhythms are almost musical to listen to when spoken well. It gave me a chance to watch her as she moved about the restaurant. Alex would occasionally glance back at me as she worked the room, giving me a little smile when she caught me watching. She had class and charisma to go with her stunning looks. She was charming the diners as she always seemed to be interested in what they had to say. She did look fabulous, her red dress set off her blonde hair and skin tone perfectly. She moved gracefully among the tables and more than one male diner and some of the women gave her an appreciative look.

I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

It also gave me time to think. What had started off as a visit to an acquaintance from my university for some rest and relaxation had become an almost surreal experience. I had discovered that my old house mate had made a journey that few would ever believe possible if they had not seen the evidence. She had become a beautiful woman full of grace and poise and humour. She had done and seen things about which some dream and some have nightmares. She had found her path and had found the courage to follow that through thick and thin. True, if what she told me was right, she also had a cock.

But I think I’m falling in love with her.

"Don’t you dare drop the L bomb you moron," said the dark voice in my head and the other voice said "Just go for it, if it’s what you want."

By the time she had finished her tour of the tables the last of the diners were leaving, so by the time we sat down we had the place to ourselves. The restaurant was behind the bar on the beach side. There was a veranda that looked out over the sea and we sat at one of the tables there. Alex chose one which had a bench seat so we could both look out over the sea. It was a beautiful evening; the sea was visible in the lights from the restaurant and the sound of the surf acted as a backdrop to our conversation. An overhead fan kept some air moving over the veranda and the heat of the day was beginning to cool off a little. There were candles flickering on the table for light and it was about as romantic setting as you could wish for.

As we sat and listened to the noise of the surf, it seemed that time was slowing down. It had been frantic since I had got here those few hours ago, and this was the first time I was able to catch a breath. Alex fetched us cold beers, and I think we were both happy to spend time with our own thoughts. She had ordered for us both and as the food was served, I realised how hungry I was. The aromas from the food were intoxicating.

“Alex, this is delicious. This is the best cooking I’ve had here. Better than anywhere in Bangkok.”

“Thank you, it's taken a while, but I think we have one of the best places on the island. The bar and this place are doing great, and the new venture will be a great opportunity.” She was obviously proud of what she and Areeya had built up here.

“What's the new business?”

“I don’t want to talk about it too much before it's definite, and I think it's something you would enjoy.” Her eyes sparkled as she said it, and I got the impression she was teasing me. “Anyway, James, what are your plans for when your project is finished in Bangkok?”

“I might be here for another six months to finish, but I don’t have plans after that. There's nothing that is dragging me back home.”

“Would you stay in Thailand?”

It seemed an innocent question, but then again, nothing was innocent with Alex.

“Yes, but the problem would be getting a job.”

“Surely, in your field, that wouldn't be so hard. There's a lot of money floating around in Thailand right now.”

“Maybe, but I don’t have any contacts.”

“Let’s talk to Areeya about that, her father might be able to help you. I know, let me read your palm, I can tell you what's in your future.”

She took my hand, turned it palm up and held it in one hand. She looked closely at it and then gently ran a fingernail across my palm, making me shiver.

Alex looked thoughtful as she continued to stroke my palm. "My grandmother said that when someone shivered like that they had a secret wish they were hiding. She read palms, my granny. She would probably have been burnt as a witch a couple of hundred years ago."

She turned towards me, "James, do you have a secret wish? Granny believed that if you didn’t tell someone then it would never come true." She still had hold of my hand with one hand and pushed her other hand back through her hair. That gesture gets me every time. It makes a woman look vulnerable and kick-starts my protective instinct.

"If you told someone, then it wouldn’t be a secret wish, would it?" I said straight-faced.

She put on a spiteful face and dug her fingernail right into my palm

"Oww, that hurt," I protested.

"Serves you right, you beast. My granny will haunt you if I ask her to."

She kept hold of my hand and rubbed it where she had dug in the nail.

"That’s better.” She was now stroking my hand gently which was getting me aroused. So much that I had to wriggle on the seat as my trousers were getting uncomfortably tight again.

"You have an interesting heart line," she frowned as she examined my hand. "It’s high on your hand which shows you have a passionate nature, see here how it curves up to your index or Jupiter finger?" She slowly slid her finger nail across my palm, the effect of which was to increase my excitement which was becoming more and more difficult to conceal. She seemed to be unaware of the effect she was having and continued stroking the palm, "that means you have an open and warm hearted nature. It also means you haven’t had sex for far too long." She giggled as she said the last bit.

"You’re making that up, it’s all a load of rubbish."

Alex bent forward, kissed my palm then looked sideways at me, "? So, tell me, when was the last time you had sex?" she fluttered her lashes, making me laugh.

"OK, the bit about the sex is right. But the rest is all BS."

"Don’t you think you’re warm hearted either? I think you are." She kissed my hand once more before letting it go. I immediately wished she hadn’t let go, it had felt so nice.

She took a sip of her beer before saying casually, "By the way, you might like to know that Pao said you enjoyed what happened in Cockatoo, she felt it quite clearly." She put extra emphasis on the word feel and I almost choked on my beer, managing to splutter a reply

"OK. I defy anyone not to feel anything when a pretty little thing like Pao starts stroking their crown jewels."

"Fair enough, James, but she also told me you did some stroking back." Alex looked innocently at me. I went red again. Damn my genes.

"Only for a moment, Pao put my hand there."

"Oh, that big bully Pao, but did she make you rub it?" again wide eyed and innocent. "OK, that’s enough. I’m sorry I was trying to tease you, James. It doesn’t matter to me, honestly."

As we sat side by side, I felt her leg bump mine more and more frequently, and I knew this wasn’t accidental. Alex moved along the bench which increased the pressure of her leg against mine. I was now getting aroused by this and had to move to adjust myself.

"Everything OK, James?" She asked. I’m sure she now knew full well the effect she was having on me.

I had to change the subject.

"Alex, one thing that’s bothering me." I felt her hand move onto my thigh.

", James, only the one thing?" her eyebrows arched in mock surprise.

"You have been so sweet since I arrived and you’ve said so many nice things about me. When we were at Uni I always thought you didn’t like me. Or at least that you thought I was a boring twit. I don’t get why things are so different now."

Alex stiffened, took her hand off my thigh, put her glass on the table carefully and sat looking out into the darkness. She didn’t reply for what seemed an age. She looked at me for a few seconds, turned away then looked back at me.

"James, you don't get it, do you? Are you so dense? You want to know the truth? I fancied the pants off you at Uni. I was dying to get into your trousers back then. I tried so many times to be with you, dropped so many hints that you didn’t ever pick up on. I thought all along that you were playing hard to get. I didn’t believe anyone could not read the signals. All those times I tried to get you out for a drink, but you had to study. The parties I asked you to that you couldn’t make. The times I invited you to my room, and you had other things to do. It Made me more determined to get you. In the end, I think I would have had to dance around naked in front of you with a sign round my neck saying "James, come and get me" for you to have noticed me. It seems crazy now that I kept on trying for so long. Sometimes when you want something so bad and you can’t get it, it makes you want it so much more. I Didn't know how to get you to like me. You had this bloody Hugh Grant look going, like in Notting Hill, which was driving me crazy. The floppy hair and the polite gentleman act. Didn’t you see it was turning me on so much? I had the biggest crush on you. All I ever got was a fucking hug when I left for Thailand. Didn’t you have any inkling at all?"

I sat back, shocked. I had no idea that was how Alex had felt about me. From somewhere in my reeling mind I remembered the farewell hug and what he had said about regrets and missed chances. I slumped back; the realisation of what he had meant now obvious.

"Alex, I am so sorry, I had no idea. I must have been so stupid. I thought you had me down as an uptight twit. I was jealous of you to be honest. You were so easy with everyone whilst I was so clumsy and found it difficult to talk to you or your friends. I was so worried about you not liking me I guess I put my defences up. I would see you with all those girls and wished I could be like you. I wanted to be you. I thought you were taking the piss when you asked me for a drink. You were always so at ease with people, you could talk to anyone and charm them into the palm of your hand."

Alex twirled her glass and looked sideways at me. "I didn’t manage to charm you though, did I? The girls meant nothing to me; they liked to hang around with a good-looking bloke. They were fun company, but that’s all they ever were. I had no idea if you were gay or even curious, but when there’s someone you want so badly, you have to keep trying. I could even have been happy with being friends and hanging out together."

She turned her head away although I could see she was still blinking back the tears.

She sniffed, "It’s ironic that you wanted to be me and I wanted you. That would keep us both in therapy for years. You were the one who got away from me. So, I had to get away from you. It was partly because of you that I went off to Thailand. I wanted to get away from everything that reminded me of you. I had fallen for someone that I could never have, how fucking sad is that?"

She was looking for a tissue to wipe her eyes and I gave her one I had in my pocket.

"See, that’s what I mean, you are such a gentleman. When I got your email, I couldn’t believe it. I had to sit down for a long time to think. Did I want to see you again? I know it hadn’t been your fault, but I wasn’t sure that awakening all those memories would do me any good. I talked all night with Areeya. I had never told her about you before and she had to listen all night to me running on about how great you were blah, blah, blah. She is so sweet; she listened and finally told me, You must do what your heart wants."

Alex had stopped crying but looked as if she could start again anytime.

"I finally decided that what my heart wanted was to see you again. To see if I had the same feelings for you or if in the years since things had changed. When you walked through that door and looked so confused and lost, like Hugh bloody Grant would have done, I knew that I had not lost any of my feelings for you. My legs were shaking when I saw you. The only thing that saved me was the fact that you were so shocked that I had time to gather myself. I knew it was a huge risk to see you as I am now. You could have turned round and walked away. You could have got angry. You could have shouted and screamed at me, called me all kinds of names. I bet myself, wished myself with all my heart that you wouldn’t, that you would still be my Hugh Grant. And damn you, you were. You sat there and listened to me telling you my story and didn’t bat an eyelid. I have never told anyone other than Areeya that whole story before and you took it in your stride, like a gentleman would. Areeya told me what you said about me choosing a hard road and how strong a character I was and that was sweet of you. But when I saw you come through that door I just about held myself together. Strong character? I felt like a fucking helpless kitten at that moment."

She stood up and walked quickly away to the edge of the veranda and stood looking out into the darkness. She was still wiping away the tears. I followed and put my hands on her shoulders and turned her round. She wouldn’t look me in the eyes and I thought I should finish this now for all our sakes.

"Alex, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you. You have gone through so much and I don’t want to spoil the happiness you have here with Areeya, I guess I should go now."

She looked up at me, eyes blazing, her fists drumming on my chest.

"Don’t you dare fucking go now before I find out. I haven’t gone through all this today to lose you again before I find out if you feel anything for me."

She looked at me, eyes scared yet pleading with me. Time for you to go, the dark voice said in my head. I decided to ignore it for now.

"Alex, I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes on. I cannot believe how much courage and strength it took to deal with everything you have gone through. It would have crushed most people, but you have found your own road and followed it to turn into someone so exceptional. I haven’t met anyone before who makes me feel as alive and excited to be with as you do. You’re beautiful and sexy and funny and strong and charming and exciting and talented, and I think I’m falling in love with you. I know I can’t do anything about the past, but I don’t know what to do about the now either. You and Areeya are so strong together; you have something so wonderful together, I wouldn’t do anything to hurt either of you."

"James, James," she whispered, "I don’t want you to go. If you truly feel like that, then I can’t let you go."

She put her hand up and stroked my face. I let my hands drop from her shoulders and she quickly leant into me and kissed me on the lips. She drew back nervously to see my reaction and this time I kissed her. I felt her arms go up around my neck and I put my arms around her and pulled her close as we kissed. She moved into me and I felt myself getting hard as she slid her leg between mine and kissed me with her tongue this time.

Alex broke off the kiss, grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bench seat. She pushed me down, hitched up her dress to get down on her knees. She shoved me back on the bench, pulled my t-shirt off over my head and her fingers went straight to my belt which she undid with practised ease. She dragged down my jeans and boxers, freeing my cock before wrapping her hands around it and stroking up and down the shaft. The first touch of her fingers was electrifying. It had been months since anyone had touched my cock and to have her fingers caressing it like this made me shake with excitement. I was looking down at Alex as she teased my shaft with her fingers and nails.

Alex looked up at me and whispered, "This is what I always wanted."

My wife hated going down on me but it was something I had always loved. I watched as Alex used both hands to stroke my cock as she looked straight up at me. She suddenly leant forward to kiss the tip and pushed her lips over it bathing the cockhead with her lips, whilst her tongue attacked the underside of the head. This was making me even harder than I had been to begin with and I almost fainted with pleasure as she poked her tongue into the slit. She pushed my cock back flat against my tummy, then starting at the root she licked up and down the length of the shaft. She did this a few times before taking first one of my balls and then the other into her mouth and gently sucked them. I moaned, and she quickly put her hands up to my chest and pinched my nipples. This was now driving me wild and Alex started to blow softly across the cockhead. Nothing I had ever experienced had even come close to the feeling I had now.

I watched as she took the head back between her lips and worked magic with her tongue on the underside which for me is so sensitive. I moved my hips forward as I felt the pressure building in me. Alex, recognising this took her hands and mouth off my cock to prolong the excitement. She went back to my balls gently pulling them and kissing the spot where the shaft meets the balls. I couldn’t hold back much longer and Alex rocked back slightly and then suddenly plunged my cock into her mouth.

"Oh my god," I moaned.

She used her hand to stroke my cock hard as she pistoned it in and out of her mouth, her lips wrapped tight around it. My head snapped back, eyes closed now with my hands behind my head. The pressure was now unbearable, and I knew I was going to climax.

"I’m coming, I’m coming." She stepped up the pace, her mouth making slurping noises as she sucked and sucked.

"AAAAAHHHH" I came like never before, my cock pumping cum into her mouth. I can’t remember ever coming so hard before and it seemed to go on for an eternity. I slumped back on the bench and I felt Alex still sucking the last drops from my cock. She let me slide out and I opened my eyes to see her stand up to straddle me. Her hands went behind my head and she kissed me hard, her tongue working its way into my mouth and I could taste some of my cum on her tongue.

I wrapped my arms around her and we continued to kiss for a long time our tongues intertwined.

Alex eventually broke our kiss but remained straddling me on the bench.

"How was that, James?" she asked softly, her fingers stroking my face.

"My god, Alex, I have never felt anything like that in my life, I felt like I was never going to stop coming."

"Mmm, I didn’t think you were going to stop either, baby. That was more than a teaspoonful coming down the chute, to be sure," Her little giggle was the last straw and I knew without a doubt now that I was in love with her. Hell, what I do now, I thought. Run said the dark voice, stay said the light one. I ignored the dark voice yet again.

Alex kissed me again and stood up. I stood too, a little unsteadily, and reached down to pull up my boxers and jeans.

"Oh, does he have to go away so soon?” she said as she grabbed my cock, "He’s so sweet and I think he was glad to see me. I know I was glad to see him." She giggled again, and I batted her hand away her making her pout.

I finished pulling on my jeans and was looking for my t-shirt. Alex had it, hiding it behind her back and stopping me from grabbing it.

"Mmm, you have lovely nipples you know, it’s a shame to cover them up." She planted a kiss on one nipple before I eventually twisted the shirt out of her grasp and slipped it back on. I glanced at my watch and saw it was now 2.30 in the morning. Only a handful of hours had passed since I got here, but plenty enough time for my world to tilt on its axis.

"I should get back to my hotel,"

"No chance, buster. Do you think I’m going to let you out my sight now? You can stay with us, there’s our flat at the back."

This was the moment of decision; if I stayed I could not pretend this was a one off, something that I could put down to alcohol and lust. There would be no turning back and it would be a journey into the unknown. I didn’t even bother to listen to the two voices in my head this time. Alex was looking anxiously at me waiting for me to make up my mind.

"If that’s alright with you, I would like to," I replied. She punched me in the arm, "Sometimes, you don’t have to be so bloody polite. If it wasn’t OK, I wouldn’t have suggested it."

Her mention of staying with us made me remember something.

"Hey, didn’t you say Areeya was joining us?"

Alex looked straight into my eyes, "Yes, she did. She’s sitting right over there."

Chapter 4

I whirled around to follow where Alex was pointing and Areeya sat a few yards away from where Alex and I had been. My heart leapt into my throat with shock.

"What the hell? Was she there all the time we were, you know?" I was babbling again.

Alex took me by the arm, "Yes, of course, she was. We don’t keep anything from each other. Oh, James I think you’ve had another shock today."

More like two near cardiac arrests within a few hours I would say.

"Jesus, is there anyone bloody else there? The cook or the waitress, for example?"

Alex laughed, "I’m surprised to hear you say that, James, but if you want them to watch next time, that could be arranged." By this time, I couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. Next time, carried an implication I didn’t want to face right now.

She led me by the arm towards Areeya. She rose, smiling, from the chair with that extraordinary grace of hers.

Bizarrely in the circumstances, she made a wai to me and equally bizarrely, I made one back. Me and my bloody manners. Areeya came to stand in front of me and reaching up kissed me on the cheek.

"Kap khun ka, thank you, James’

"Thank you? What for, Areeya?"

"For making Alex happy, James." Her smile was so genuine that I had to smile back.

Alex squealed with joy and pulled Areeya into a massive hug, "Oh, Areeya, I do love you. James, isn’t she the best?"

To say I was bemused was about the understatement of the year. Areeya had sat and watched her girlfriend give a blow job to a man who had walked into their lives only a few hours earlier and she was thanking him for it. Nothing in my life so far had prepared me for this kind of relationship. I thought I might have fallen down a rabbit hole into a parallel universe.

"Areeya, I don’t know what to say," I felt I had to say something, if only that I didn’t know what to say.

Alex still had her arm around Areeya and was smiling like a cat with two bowls of cream. Areeya said something to Alex in Thai and Alex nodded. Alex took hold of my hand and still holding Areeya round the waist said, "And I would like to thank James also for what he said about not wanting to hurt either Areeya or I. That was what I would have expected my gentleman to say, so thank you."

Areeya smiled, "That was sweet of you, James. That made me happy too.'

"You’re both welcome," I immediately screamed at myself, what an idiotic thing to say.

"I think we should all head for bed now. It’s been a long and tiring day. And at least two of us have to do some work tomorrow. Or I mean today." Alex took my hand.

"Look, wouldn’t it be better if I went back to the hotel so you two can get some rest?" I offered.

Alex pouted, "Don’t you want to stay with us, then? Didn’t you enjoy what we did?"

"Yes, no, yes, I mean, I Want to do the right thing, that’s all." Back to babble speak, these two girls scrambled my brain.

Areeya said, "James, the right thing to do is to stay here tonight and we can discuss what happens next tomorrow. It will take far too long for you to go all the way back to your hotel at this time of night. We have the flat right here and it has two bedrooms so there is no problem whatsoever." Areeya was obviously the sensible half of their partnership. "I will take the second bedroom and you and Alex can take the main room." Scratch that about Areeya being the sensible half of the partnership.

"What? I mean, I thought I would sleep on my own." I spluttered.

"Poor James," Alex said soothingly to Areeya as if talking about a child, "I think he’s had a few shocks too many today, he can’t think straight." She turned her attention to me, "James, here’s what’s going to happen, Areeya use the other bedroom and you and I will be in the main bedroom. For God’s sake, there’s a big day bed in there if you want to sleep by yourself."

Alex held both my hand and Areeya’s and led the way to a flight of stairs at the rear of the building. Areeya pointed up the stairs. "The flat is on the first floor and it has the best view of the sea in Lamai from up there."

You can take the girl out of real estate but you can’t take real estate out of the girl, I thought.

The top of the stairs opened out onto a balcony running the length of the building. Alex punched numbers into a keypad and a large glass floor-to-ceiling door slid open.

"Neat. Huh?" said Alex with pride as the door slid closed. She had let go of Areeya’s hand to use the keypad but held onto mine. Areeya said, "My room is over here, so good night James. Alex told me you tasted nice, so I hope I get to find out for myself soon."

Before I could think of any reply, Areeya disappeared into the room. My grip on the certainties of life was now slipping away. I wondered what would happen next.

"Come on, we’re over here," still bouncing with energy, Alex pulled me over to another door and almost dragged me into the room. She kicked the door shut with her foot and snaked her arms around my neck and drew me into a passionate kiss with her tongue forcing its way into my mouth. We stood there for a while, kissing and holding each other. I was getting hard again and my hands went to her buttocks and pulled her tight towards me. It was then I felt something push into my groin and I realised with a jolt that Alex also was getting aroused.

Even in my tired and lust fuelled brain I knew I had to slow this down somehow. I had fallen for Alex as a girl even though I knew she was more than that, and now I had to deal with that.

Alex sensed my hesitation and stopped kissing me and pulled back to look at me.

"What’s up?" she scanned my face for an answer. "James, talk to me please." Real anxiety now crept into her voice. "Tell me, am I going too fast? Is that it? Please tell me."

"Alex, it’s me, not you."

"Oh, for fucks sake not that old line, now it’s "I want to be friends" and you disappear again, is that it?" She was working herself up now.

She dropped her hands, spun around and walked off a few steps. Without looking at me, she said in a shaky voice, "If that’s the case, then you’d better go now."

"Do you want me to go?"

She was holding her arms across her chest hugging herself. "No, I don’t want you to go, but I don’t want to be hurt again so if you go please never come back."

This was a tipping point. I felt my whole future would revolve around what I said in the next few seconds. The voices in my head were still. I knew precisely what I was going to say.

I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her, she stiffened but stayed still.

"Alex, I never want to hurt you and I don’t just want to be your friend. I don’t want to leave. I want to be with you, because I am in love with you, but if you still want me to go, say it and I will go now and never come back, I promise."

I felt her body relax and, still facing away from me, she whispered, "Do you mean you love me?"

"Yes, I do.”

She whirled round and kissed me again. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist. I grabbed her quickly enough to stop us both falling over.

"James, I love you too. I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay with me." She covered my face with little kisses and I walked us over to the bed. I put her down on the bed and sat down next to her.

"Alex, this has happened so quickly, I feel like I have to slow down. There are things I need to get adjusted to and I need you to be patient with me. I have never been with someone like you and you will need to let me get used to things at my pace. You will have to be my guide through this, but I want to try my hardest to please you."

She giggled, "You’ve tried quite hard already."

Seeing the look on my face she went on, “I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. I’m so sorry, I know this must be difficult for you so we’ll go at your pace. I won’t make you do anything you’re not comfortable with. I have this horrible habit of trying to be funny to cover up my insecurity. I’ll stop it, I promise."

My turn to chuckle, "Don’t promise what you can’t deliver," as she opened her mouth to speak I kissed her and all I could hear were some muffled noises. She broke free and slapped me on the arm. "Be careful, or I will have to punish you. Or maybe that’s what you would like?"

She jumped up and moved out of my reach, giggling all the while.

She stopped and looked serious, "Do you want to sleep on the couch tonight then?"

I looked at her, her face showed the anxiety she must have felt. "No, I would rather sleep in the bed tonight," I paused for a fraction of a second, "You can sleep on the couch."

I watched her face drop, but I couldn’t keep a straight face and burst into laughter, "No, I want both of us to sleep in the bed tonight."

"You bastard," she said, though she was laughing too.

"I will have to punish you somehow for that," She hit me on the arm again to make her point.

"Is that the best you’ve got?" I replied, although to be honest, it did hurt a bit.

"You monster," she was laughing like a drain. "I’m going to get ready for bed. There’s the loo over there and I’m heading for the bathroom over here."

With that she disappeared through a door to what I assumed was the bathroom. On one side was a window running the length of the room. At one end was the door through which we had entered. There were three or four other doors, one of which was the door Alex had gone through. At one end of the room were two large couches in an L shape with a low table between them. A huge large screen TV sat on a low cupboard and on a small desk stood what looked like an Apple MacBook Pro. At the other end of the room was a dining table with half a dozen chairs. In between, with its headboard up against the wall facing the window was probably the biggest bed I had ever seen. It was huge both in width and length.

The room was lit by small lamps dotted around the room. What looked like original artworks hung from the walls and the whole effect was of understated luxury. My bladder was screaming at me and I looked for the loo. I tried one door, which led into the kitchen and found the washroom behind a second door. After peeing I washed my hands and dried them on a towel when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Despite what had happened tonight, I couldn’t see any change. I smiled to myself, what do you think would have changed, you fool. Apart from needing a shave, there was nothing in my face that was any different from when I looked in the mirror this morning. Yet my face and I knew that plenty had changed. The washroom had one of those lights that flatters your reflection, makes it look tanned and less wrinkly. I wasn’t exactly chiselled, but I had kept myself in good shape with running and swimming, so I didn’t scrub up too badly. Blue eyes and straight nose, sandy blondish hair that did flop down at the front a bit, but Hugh Grant? Couldn’t see it myself.

I moved back to the bedroom, took off my t-shirt and jeans and sat on the bed feeling foolish in my boxers. Should I take them off and get into bed? What would Hugh Grant do?

Before I could decide, I was startled to hear music flooding the room. I smiled as it was Tutu by Miles Davis, one of my favourite jazz tracks.

"I remember you couldn’t decide if this or Oscar Peterson’s Hymn to Freedom were your favourite jazz pieces," Alex spoke from the open doorway to the bathroom. How did she know that? I couldn’t remember ever talking to Alex at Uni about jazz, but she was right, I still can’t choose between them. It made me wonder if the Oscar Peterson piece playing in the bar when I arrived had been more than a coincidence.

Alex stood there ,backlit by the light from the bathroom and my heart flipped. She was wearing a long silk robe with a vibrant floral print, she had brushed her hair and it glowed in the light. My heart rate went up and I felt goosebumps form as I looked at her.

"Oh, baby," she said walking over to the bed. "You look so sweet sitting there like that. Are you waiting for me? Come on let’s get into bed. First you got to take off those boxers though." She grabbed hold of them and slid them down my legs. My cock jumped to attention and Alex bent down and kissed the head. "I see someone’s pleased to see me." She touched a button on the wall turning out the main room lights but leaving two bedside lamps on. She touched another button and the lights dimmed but didn't go out. I moved onto the bed, my cock waving in the air as I did so. There was still enough light for me to see Alex let the robe slide to the floor and she slipped onto the bed next to me. She was wearing a filmy nightdress that came down to her hips and a pair of knickers.

"James, I don’t want you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, so let's take it slow and see what happens. We’ll find out as we go what we both like and what we’re ready to do, is that OK?"

I nodded, and she knelt on the bed, bent forward and kissed me. She put her hands behind my head and pulled me closer. She started with gentle kisses before her tongue pushed through my lips and we kissing hard, our tongues fighting each other. She broke off the kiss and with her eyes fixed on mine she slid down to suck and lick my nipples. I have always had sensitive nipples and when she used her teeth to nip and stretch them I groaned. She giggled and tweaked both nipples between her finger nails. It hurt, but it was an exquisite pain which made me suck in my breath. I decided to fight back and pushed her onto her back. She didn't resist as I reached under the nightdress and cupped her breasts with my hands, the first time I had touched any part of her body.

"This is no good,” she said, sat up and in one fluid move took the nightdress over her head and dropped it on the floor. She stayed where she was looking down at me and I could see her breasts for the first time. I reached out and touched the nipples and I felt them harden at my touch. I rotated my hands on her breasts gently kneading and rubbing them. She made little mewing sounds like a kitten.

"Keep going," she whispered. “I love that."

I brought her back down to the bed and kissed and sucked her right nipple and held the left between my fingers, rolling the hard little nipple round and round. I flicked the nipple with my tongue and she arched her back, "God, that’s wonderful, do the other one please." I changed sides and took the left one in my mouth and used my hands on the other one. She moved her hips as I continued to tease her breasts. Her hand slid its way down my chest tickling me with feathery little touches of her fingers and nails. Her fingers got to my groin and stopped for a moment drawing circles above my cock causing fluttery feelings in my stomach. As I continued to kiss and suck her breasts, she moved her hand down onto my erection and feathered her fingers up and down the shaft. I was already as hard as granite and this was making me dizzy with pleasure. She cupped my balls and then slipped a finger underneath them and rubbed the perineum. This was the first time anyone had done this to me, and the sensation sent me into overdrive. I writhed with the stimulation and I started to pant with frustration. My cock was aching for some kind of release.

"James," she whispered in my ear, "Do you want me to use my mouth or do you want to fuck me?" I felt how tense she was when she asked, fearing for my answer.

I thought for a nanosecond. "Oh, I want to fuck you, but you’re going to have to show me how."

"Baby, that’s OK, I’ll show you what to do. She reached over to the nightstand and pulled out something from a drawer. I realised it was lube when she squeezed something onto my cock and rubbed it in. I watched as she reached behind her and moving her knickers to one side, applied some to herself. She moved me onto my back, straddled me and positioned herself facing away from me right over my erect cock. I watched as she again moved her knickers to one side, eased herself down and steered my cock towards her hole. She moved down on me and when she was sure I was in the right place, she used her weight to ease herself deeper onto my cock. I felt an initial resistance but then with an extra thrust I found myself inside her. She gasped as I entered her and slowly she took more and more of me inside. I felt her hole tighten around my cock as she moved up and down on me. Soon she was bouncing up and down and I tried to push up as she came down. I had never had sex as intense as this ever before.

"Use your hands on my tits."

I reached around to knead her breasts as she pummelled herself onto me. I was driving upwards as she pushed herself down on me, both of us grunting with the effort and the excitement. As I felt my climax building, I slowed my thrusts hoping to keep this feeling going as long as possible. Alex took her cue from me and slowed her movements and we changed to a slower pace with my cock now driving it deeper and deeper into her. I was on the edge of coming, and I picked up the pace again, thrusting harder and harder. Alex responded moving faster now and with one final thrust I shouted “I’m coming” before filling her with my cum.

Alex kept moving up and down as I felt my juices flood into her. She kept going for a while drawing out the feeling for as long as she could for me and her. I slumped back, completely spent and Alex moved gently off me and lay down beside me on the bed. I kissed her and she licked the sweat from my cheek, "Mmm, salty, lovely."

I laughed, and she asked anxiously, "Well, how was it?"

I turned to her and wiping the small beads of sweat away from the corner of her eye said, "Terrible, I hated it."

There was a moment I could see in her eyes when I almost had her, but she saw my mouth twitch and she yelled, "James, you are a real bastard sometimes, and I will hurt you." With that she thumped me in the chest once, reached down and grabbed my cock and squeezed hard.

"Oooww, that hurt," it had too.

"You deserve it, you sod and you know how worried I am about this." She leant down and kissed my cock which was now soft and a little sore. "But you don’t deserve it, do you?" I think she was now talking to my cock instead of me.

"James, there’s at least one thing about you that’s good for something, anyway." She slipped off the bed and padded across to the bathroom. "I'll Be a minute and I’m coming back to punish you."

With that the door closed behind her.

I lay back exhausted from the session. My first thought I had was that was the best fuck I had ever had. My second thought was that it was with a man. My third thought was, no, she’s a woman. My fourth thought was, did it matter? I was a 26-year-old man who had never consciously had a gay thought in all those years, but in the space of less than 12 hours I had met and fucked someone who had been born a male, but now identified as, what actually? I didn’t know whether Alex thought of herself as a woman with a penis or a man with breasts or as a third gender as the Thais would have it. Alex seemed perfectly happy with what she was, whatever that was. Are gay, straight or bi real, or labels we use to navigate our way through life when it gets tough? Isn’t the truth that all these blur and meld at some point? Can’t we be all three of them at some point, or two of them or one if we choose to live that way? For me the only question was would I accept Alex for what she is, or would I not be able to overturn my prejudices and inhibitions? Did falling for her make me gay? If so does that matter a damn if you love someone? I knew what I felt for Alex was something so strong and powerful that I knew I had to try.

She came back into the bedroom and we kissed and cuddled on the bed for a while until we fell asleep. I woke up once in the night to find I was spooning Alex. My arm was draped over her waist and my hand was resting in her groin and I brushed her cock with my fingers through the thin silk of her knickers. It didn’t feel odd at all, and I sleepily stroked it gently and she moved slightly in the bed without waking. I kept on stroking it for a little while and she slept peacefully on. Eventually I moved my hand away and my last thought before drifting off to sleep again was that I had touched Alex’s cock and my hand hadn’t fallen off.

I didn’t know what time it was, and the room was still dark because of the blinds but as I awoke, I realised that my cock was hard and that it was being sucked. I thought this is the first time I have ever been woken up with a blow job and I laid back to enjoy it. With my eyes closed I was getting harder as my cock was sucked and licked and a hand slid up and down the shaft. It wasn’t long before I felt myself building to a climax and as I reached the point when I couldn’t hold back anymore, I said, "Alex, I’m coming" and exploded into her mouth.

"That’s nice, baby," I heard Alex say. Something was wrong though, Alex’s voice wasn’t coming from on the bed and if she had my cock in her mouth how could she say anything? Her voice seemed to be coming from somewhere further away. I opened my eyes and saw her sitting in her robe on one of the couches. It took me a good few seconds to process that and as I looked down the bed I saw Areeya, naked, smiling and licking something from her lip.

"Kap khun Ka, James" she said, "Alex was right, you do taste nice."

Chapter 5

I shot off the bed in something close to panic. That made the third near cardiac arrest in about 12 hours. At this rate I will soon stroke out I thought.

"What the hell are you playing at?" I shouted.

Alex calmly replied, "No need to shout, James. That’s rude and unbecoming of you. When I woke up, you looked so lovely lying there fast asleep, so I went to fetch Areeya to show her too."

I looked from Alex to Areeya wondering if I had dropped into another universe where everyone was stark staring mad except me.

Areeya picked up where Alex had left off, "You looked so peaceful in your sleep and then Alex decided it was time to wake you up, so she suggested I woke you up in that way. I hope you don’t mind, you seemed to enjoy it, so did I." She said this so sweetly with the air of someone who thought it was all normal to wake up someone with a blow job.

"Oh, well, that’s alright then," I tried for sarcasm, but both girls accepted it merely as a statement.

I suddenly realised Areeya and I were standing there naked with Alex on the couch wearing her robe from last night. Instinctively, I went to cover myself with my hands.

Alex hooted with laughter. "It’s a bit bloody late for that, baby, that boat has sailed."

Areeya was standing in front of a large mirror shaking out her long black hair. She moved her head from side to side and her hair followed her movement. From the back she looked beautiful and then she turned round to face me and my heart kind of skipped a beat. For a nation obsessed with a ‘white is right’ attitude to skin colour, Areeya’s skin was duskier than most, and her hair fell down over her shoulders almost to her waist. Her breasts were small but with large dark areolae and her slender body and long legs made her look like a model. She carried herself with grace and elegance and she seemed to place each foot with precision as she walked and seemed to float over the floor. If she was beautiful with her clothes on, naked she would make Chinese poets weep with despair trying to describe her. She seemed unaware that I stood there transfixed.

"She is lovely, isn’t she?" Alex had got up from the couch and came to stand by me. Areeya pulled on a pair of knickers and shrugged herself into an oversized t-shirt. I was sorry to see those breasts disappear.

This made me the only one in the room with no clothes on and I suddenly felt underdressed. I saw my jeans on the floor by the bed, but I was damned if I could find my boxers. I decided to cut my losses and go commando, at least I should wear something.

Alex said, "I’m off to the shower, Areeya will get you some breakfast if you like." Alex walked over to the bathroom door; stopped, stretched ostentatiously to make sure she had my full attention, then still with her back to me, slipped her robe from her shoulders to the floor and posed against the door frame. She looked back over her shoulder,

"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You Put your lips together and...blow."

I threw a pillow at her and it skimmed past her head. I heard her laughing as she disappeared into the bathroom.

Areeya came out of the kitchen with coffee, juices, fruit and bread and we headed out to eat breakfast. It was as Areeya had said, a magnificent view from the balcony out over the beach. The sun was already strong, so we sat under a large parasol. The sea glinted as the sunlight flicked off the waves and the jet skis were already out on the water throwing up their rooster tails of spray. It was an opportunity to talk to Areeya without Alex interrupting.

“Alex told me you went to the American University in Bangkok?”

‘Yes, my father wanted me to go to the US but my mother had only just died and I wanted to be close to him. To honour her I also learnt classical Thai dance while I was there.”

That explained the grace with which she did everything.

“How did you meet Alex?”

Areeya smiled, “When I left University I wanted to come back here to Samui to unwind. I love the island. For a while I ran my father’s real estate business here and one day this blonde farang comes into the office wanting to know about property on the island. She had this crazy idea about opening an upmarket bar. We talked and went out for a drink which became dinner which turned into ending up in bed together. I have known I was bisexual from an early age, and I had guessed she was transgender. But, I fell in love with her, and what her body looked like was of little consequence. I had never met anyone like Alex before, she is a force of nature. We have been together ever since.”

“Areeya, you and Alex have a wonderful relationship and I don't want to cause any trouble between you two. What do you feel about me being here? Does it concern you?”

She thought for a moment, “James, I love Alex but do not possess her. I believe that we are here not to seek happiness for ourselves, but to create it in others. My happiness is to see Alex happy, and I believe she feels the same about me. So, when she received your email, I have never seen her so excited yet so afraid. We talked a lot about what she should do and she asked me what I felt. I told her that if she didn't take this chance then she would regret it at sometime in the future. If it went well I would be pleased for her, if it didn’t, I would still be there for her. I would not stand in her way.” She looked at me and smiled, “James, I think Alex made the right choice. Now tell me, did you really not know what Alex felt about you at University?”

I blushed, “Areeya, I promise you, I was totally unaware of how Alex felt. Thinking back I must have been such an idiot. If I had known, I don't know how I would have reacted. I was a little jealous, and maybe a little afraid too, and that might have blinded me to how he really felt.”

“We only see that which we wish to see, James. I am so glad that you and Alex have found each other again. I think it makes you both happy.”

It was at this moment that Alex burst onto the balcony, "I’ve got an idea, why don’t we take James to Koh Tao tomorrow? The forecast is excellent."

"That’s a good idea; we haven’t been out on the boat for a while. Koh Tao would be a great place to take James to show him another island."

"Hold up. Where is Koh Tao and what boat?"

Alex was already excited about the idea. "Koh Tao is an island about 90 minutes cruising north of here. It’s smaller and less overdeveloped than Samui. It’s lovely and perfect for a day trip and a picnic."

"My father lives and works in Bangkok, but he keeps a small boat here for weekend breaks. He lets me use it when he is not here. We have been to Koh Tao many times."

Alex chipped in, "It has a lot of unspoilt beaches and we can anchor off one of them and go swimming and snorkelling. Come on, please say yes."

"OK, I’m up for it, but my swimming shorts are back at the hotel."

Alex smacked me on the arm, her favourite way it seems of telling me I had said something stupid.

"We don’t worry about wearing anything, we’ll find somewhere secluded and go skinny dipping." She concluded as if there could be no further discussion.

"It’s OK for you two, you don’t need to worry about the sun, but I need to protect certain bits from the sun."

"Fuss, fuss, fuss, those bits aren’t so big, so you can borrow a pair of my bottoms if you have to." Alex stood with her hands on her hips trying to look stern. I felt offended at that but Areeya giggled, "My father keeps some clothes on the boat, I am sure there is something that will fit James."

Alex looked miffed, "OK, but they are coming off as soon as we get in the water."

The two girls had to leave to do some work in the office downstairs. Alex said they would be back in time for a late lunch if that was OK and that I could use the balcony to sunbathe or explore Lamai. She showed me how to use the remote control for the room and that I could use the MacBook if I wanted. She said to help myself to any drinks or snacks I wanted from the kitchen

Alex told me the code for the door, gave me a kiss and they both headed off. I decided to use the balcony for a while before it got too hot, took a beer and sat outside on one of the loungers. Only then did I feel how tired I was after the events of the past day. I helped myself to a couple more beers and drifted off to sleep.

It was after two when the girls returned. Alex came straight over and jumped onto my lap and kissed me. Nice way to say hello, I thought.

"Hello lover," she said. "We come bearing gifts.” She opened the bag she had with her and pulled out a dark blue t-shirt with the Koh Samui Blue logo in white on back and front. "We might as well make you useful for something while you’re here, free publicity for us while you’re wearing it."

She fished around and pulled out throwaway razors and shaving cream.

Rubbing my stubbly face with her fingers she said, "You’re going to have to shave that stubble before I let you near me again. Mmm," she said rubbing my chest, "I might want to shave you all over, make you all nice and smooth."

"You have exactly zero chances of coming anywhere near me with a razor, sweetheart." I said.

"You’re no fun anymore but, anyway, I saved the best present for last." With that she pulled out a pair of bright blue Thai boxing shorts. "You said you wanted some shorts and Areeya thought these were perfect for you."

Areeya said, "Alex, don’t lie, it was your idea."

“Details, details," grumbled Alex. "Don’t they look great? Try them on, pretty please?"

She held up what was possibly the gaudiest pair of Thai boxing shorts ever made. Thai boxing or Muay Thai is Thailand’s national sport. To a Westerner it looks not so much a martial art as a street fight in a boxing ring. One of the features is that the fighters wear brightly coloured flared satin shorts decorated with, well, virtually anything. The pair that Alex had bought me were bright blue with gold embroidery and on the back the two fighting bulls of the Red Bull company.

"You don’t think I’m wearing those outside do you?" I asked as I held the shorts by my fingers.

"No, that would look silly," she said, "Just in bed will do."

I blushed yet again. making Alex squeal with joy and she kissed me again before I could say anything. Areeya had organised for the restaurant to send up food and we had a relaxed lunch on the balcony. The food was as delicious as the dinner had been the night before. We ate and chatted and laughed together until the girls left to get things ready for tonight. We would meet at Cockatoo at about nine and we would go find somewhere to eat after then.

It gave me a chance to catch up on some emails and it seemed that everything was going well in Bangkok. I had been cc’d on an email from the HR director in Bangkok formally asking my company to allow me to stay on for another three months. There wasn’t a reply yet from Cambridge but I didn’t anticipate any problem from them as they were making a good return on my work. I had also got an email from the friend that had sent me Alex’s email address. He was asking if I had met Alex and if I had, could I get a new photo of him to update the university alumni website. I thought if I did it would raise a few eyebrows as well as blood pressure back home.

I made the most of the rest of the sunshine and after another nap I headed off to Cockatoo after eight, had a leisurely stroll up to the bar and had a good look along the strip. Koh Samui may have had a reputation as an unspoilt hippy paradise in the past, but times have changed and so has Samui. The main strip is crammed with bars and restaurants ss well as the inevitable massage parlours with the girls asking you to come inside. Taxis, tuk-tuks and cars clog up the street with the occasional small truck passing by packed full with either produce or people. It’s noisy, smelly, lively and exciting. It has an electricity of its own but if you are looking for a nice quiet time on Samui, Lamai isn’t it. I wandered through the night market to see what there was, but it was the usual tourist rubbish mixed in with street food stalls. I treated myself to a small portion of fried cricket for a quick snack.

I wandered back to Cockatoo a little before nine. The girls weren’t there yet but Pao was standing outside and she had a big smile when she saw me. I told her I was sorry about last night and I didn’t want her to get into trouble.

"No trouble, Mr James. Miss Alex tell me I not in trouble. She say you big friend and we be nice to you if you come, but she say not to sit on you." She giggled, and I had to laugh. I sat at the bar with a Chang beer and waited for the girls. The bar girls stayed away from me but I did catch them looking at me and giggling to each other. I got one of them to come across and play Connect 4 with me. She beat me with ease. Ah well, I thought, they might have let me win one game.

Alex and Areeya turned up about 9.30 and apologised for being late, a few problems at the restaurant that needed sorting.

Alex smiled, "Have you been looked after then?"

I told them about what Pao had said about not sitting on me. They both laughed and Alex said, "I meant it too, I think Pao has a little crush on you. If you want to do anything about it, I am sure she would be happy to oblige."

"Maybe, she is pretty," I got another smack on the arm for that.

Both the girls were tired and as we had an early start in the morning, Areeya suggested we grab something to eat on the strip and then head back to the flat. There isn’t any shortage of places to eat in Lamai, but most are tourist places. Areeya led the way to a small place off the strip where we had a good dinner, but nothing like the food at their restaurant.

It was about 11 o'clock when we made our way back to the flat and Areeya said she would sleep on the boat to make sure everything would be ready for the next day. We kissed her goodbye and Alex and I headed upstairs.

Alex put on some music, classical stuff that I recalled Alex playing back in Uni days. We flopped onto the couches, me with a Scotch and Alex with a beer. I sat to one end of the couch and she laid out flat with her head in my lap. We talked for a while about our planned journey and how nice it would be out on the water. I was stroking her hair and she was drifting off to sleep.

"Hey, sleepyhead, shall we get to bed?" I asked.

"No," she murmured her eyes closed, "I think I’ll sleep here tonight." She opened her eyes, winked, "Gotcha, you should have seen your face."

I tipped her onto the floor and raced for the bathroom as she hurled abuse at me from the floor. I took plenty of time to have a shower and shave whilst Alex was banging on the door telling me to hurry up and calling me the vilest names in both English and Thai.

I finished, let her in and she made a grab for my cock which I fended off. Slipping out of my jeans I lay on the bed feeling the cool air from the ceiling fan wash over my body. Alex eventually finished in the bathroom and came out wearing her robe. She came over to the bed, dimmed the lights with the remote and changed the music to Rihanna. I smiled as I recognised Only Girl in the World. Slipping the robe off her shoulders she turned so her back was to me. Letting the robe slide down to her waist she moved in time to the music. Turning quickly to face me, she took a pace forward and let the robe drop away. I think I stopped breathing as she was wearing only a black bra, knickers and heels.

She continued to move and turn with the music, dropping onto her heels and then slowly rising back up then turning her back. She unhooked the bra, held it out to the side and let it drop to the floor. She turned back to face me and cupping her breasts in her hands she swayed and gyrated to the music. I finally remembered to breathe again, and she moved closer, bending forwards until her breasts were inches away from me. I reached out to her and as my fingers were about to touch her she knocked them away, turned and walked away from the bed, wiggling her bum from side to side. Somewhere the music had changed to Pour It Up and her movements were perfectly in time to the beat of the music. She turned towards me one more time, kicked off her heels, dropped to her hands and knees and crawled back to the foot of the bed. Sliding onto the bed she crawled up to straddle me across my hips. She grabbed my hands, bringing one up to her mouth and sucking my fingers. The other hand she placed on her breast and her nipple hardened under my hand. She made the mewing sound of hers, so I knew she was already getting excited. She lowered herself down until she lay on top of me. Still holding my hands, she pushed them back onto the bed above my head. She held them there, leant forward and kissed me. By this time I was desperate to touch her and the feeling as her lips met mine made me tremble. She crushed her lips against mine and twisted my lip between her teeth.

The sense of powerlessness with my hands held above my head made it all so much more exciting. Alex was also now getting aroused, and her cock was growing as it rubbed against my leg. I looked down and almost bewitched I watched as her cock grew harder and poked out of the top of her knickers. I knew this would be a turning point for me. How far was I prepared to go?

Sometimes you have to leave the safety of your head and explore the wilderness of your heart.

I moved my free hand to play with her breasts. Running my fingers across her nipples I felt her suck her breath in as I flicked and tweaked them until they were hard. Her hand slid down to my cock and was steadily moving up and down my shaft. I was so hard and turned on that I felt my inhibitions flowing away like the tide receding from a beach. Sliding my hand down her stomach I hesitated as I reached her lower groin and I felt Alex tense as I stroked my fingers lower and lower. My fingers bumped into the top of her cock and we both jumped in surprise. After the first shock, I slid my hand down and gently touched the tip again. It felt smooth and warm and alive to my touch.

Alex moved her hand away from my cock and pulled down her knickers so hers could spring free. She took my hand and delicately placed it on her cock. It twitched as my fingers encircled it and her hand wrapped my fingers around the shaft. It felt so different to touching my own cock; you get to know how your own body feels, but it’s so different when you touch someone else’s. Her hand still on top of mine she moved my hand up and down along the length. I thought, ‘This is it, it’s all or nothing now.’ She took her hand away but I kept stroking her. I felt her tense as I moved my hand faster and faster and she was getting harder and harder as I rubbed it more firmly.

I was scared I might hurt her, but she was breathing heavily now and she was making more mewing sounds and panting so I kept going. She had stopped stroking me, and her whole attention was centred on her own pleasure, and it was up to me to give her that pleasure. I had closed my eyes, and I opened them as she tensed, putting her hand back on mine and using my hand to pump her cock hard. Without warning she stiffened, and keeping my hand fastened under hers, her cock twitched and she came in great spurts over her belly.

Alex relaxed as the tension flowed out of her and I watched as she used a finger to wipe up some of the cum and licked it from her finger. In a trance, I touched a pool of the cum still left on her with my finger and I offered her my finger and she sucked this too. She sucked my finger for a while and then picked up some of what remained and put her finger to my lips. I had broken down so many taboos that one more wouldn’t hurt so I poked my tongue out through my lips to taste her finger. There wasn’t much taste, only a lingering saltiness, and I sucked her finger into my mouth and licked her finger clean.

Alex stroked my face, "Thank you, James that was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me." She kissed me and hugged me tight.

We stayed wrapped together until we began to fall asleep. Alex turned over and I spooned up to her back. She pushed back into me, turned her head around and we kissed good night. As I drifted off to sleep, I heard her say, "Chan rak kun, James, I love you.

Chapter 6

The day dawned as most do in Koh Samui with bright sunshine. Alex was up early making a lot of noise as she got ready for our day ahead. The girls wanted to make an early start for Koh Tao as it takes about 90 minutes to get there, and Alex was up early to get ready. Areeya would meet us at the boat as she had to get it ready for sailing. Alex spent most of the time before we had to leave choosing what she would wear. She must have tried on at least ten different outfits, asking me each time what I thought. Of course, every time I said I liked one it had to be changed for another. My consolation was to watch her undress ten times, and I grabbed a few kisses amid lots of squealing about "We haven’t got time for that." In the end she went back to the first outfit she had tried on.

She ended up wearing a pair of tight white shorts, white sneakers and a white bikini top under a short white crop top with a straw Stetson together with white-framed sunglasses. The white accentuated her tan, and she looked fabulous. I put my arm around her and gave her a kiss and gave her bum a squeeze.

"Mmm, that’s nice," she said, "but let’s wait until we get out to sea before we start getting dirty."

On the other hand, I had the onerous chore of deciding which t-shirt to wear. I chose the Koh Samui Blue one as it was marginally more presentable than my old one. We still couldn’t find my boxers so I had to go commando again. I suspected Alex had hidden them so I would have to go au naturel. I hope Areeya could find something on the boat.

Alex had ordered a big hamper from the kitchen for lunch and we, I mean me, had to carry that to the boat. I was intrigued to see what kind of boat Areeya’s father had. I had assumed it would be some kind of small fishing boat he kept here and was surprised to see the only boat on the jetty that morning was a pristine 50 ft. motor cruiser. If this was a small boat, God knows what Areeya would think a big one would be.

"What exactly does Areeya’s father do?" I asked Alex as we walked down the jetty.

"Oh, Kritsada? He’s loaded, does stuff in real estate, electronics, and shopping malls, I told you already."

"No you didn’t. I would have remembered if you had."

"Well never mind, we’ve got to get going, hurry up with the hamper, will you?"

Of course, all Alex had to carry were her hat and sunglasses.

We pulled up behind the boat which was berthed stern in and Areeya waved us aboard. I was taken aback to see the boat was named Cockatoo 3. There was definitely something going on with this name, it can’t have been a coincidence. I would have to ask Alex later on as she was busy telling me where to put the hamper.

It was shoes off to go on the boat so having got rid of them, we climbed up to the flybridge to meet Areeya with kisses all round. She was also wearing a pair of shorts, red cotton with a white t-shirt and a back-to-front baseball cap embroidered with the Cockatoo logo. My guess was it hadn’t taken her anywhere near as long as Alex to decide what to wear. Even so, she looked fabulous.

“James, I’ve found some t-shirts and shorts for you. Maybe something will fit.”

I found myself a pair of swimming shorts which fitted but the t-shirts were all too small. Still, it felt good to get rid of the jeans, but I would have to sort something out when we got back to Samui. It was a beautiful boat; two staterooms with en-suite bathrooms, luxury galley and even a grill on the aft deck.

Areeya was professional about the whole thing and it was obvious she was completely at home on the boat. More surprising was that Alex was so proficient. She was all, "Hold this, pull that" and ordering me not to touch anything unless told to. I was impressed with the ease with which they prepared the boat to leave.

It wasn’t long before we had cast off and headed out into the Gulf of Thailand. I have always loved boats and looked forward to spending a day on the water. We were up on the fly bridge watching Samui grow smaller and then disappear. Alex declared she was off to sunbathe on the foredeck.

"That’s on the pointy bit at the front," she said, and escaped before I could throw something at her.

I sat with Areeya and she showed me the controls and the state-of-the-art navigation system. It even had an emergency transponder in case we had to call for help. Areeya was clearly proud of the boat and the skills she had as skipper. We could look down on the foredeck and see Alex stretched out catching the sun. She had removed her bikini top but had kept the shorts on.

“It's a beautiful boat, Areeya. It’s your father's, right?”

“Yes, it’s his toy, but he doesn’t get to use it much. He’s too busy in Bangkok usually.”

“Alex says he’s in property.”

She gave me a sideways look as if it was a trick question.

“Amongst other things, yes. He started his first business on Samui, then moved to Bangkok. He has interests in many things.”

Areeya was being cagey for some reason, so I didn’t push it.

“Tell me about the name Cockatoo, there has to be something to it.”

Areeya smiled, “You saw the Cockatoo in the bar?”

I nodded.

“He’s about 30 years old, they can live up to 60. He belonged to my mother before she died which was 10 years ago now. She loved him, and so we kept him. It helps to keep me close to her, I guess. He’s deaf so doesn’t mind the noise in the bar, and he loves being the centre of attention.” She grinned, “He hates Alex, goes crazy whenever she goes near him.”

“So not everyone loves her.”

She laughed, “Not quite. Did Alex tell you my father owns Cockatoo in Bangkok?”

I shook my head.

“When he set it up, he thought it was a way to remember the past. When we opened the bar here, it seemed natural to call it Cockatoo 2. The boat came later so became Cockatoo 3.”

Her father sounded interesting.

“Did you want to follow him in his business?”

That brought another sideways look. “He wanted me to, but after I graduated I came to spend time on Samui and ran his real estate companies here. It was then I met Alex and, well you know the rest. He wasn’t pleased when I wanted to set up with a crazy farang kathoey, but he accepted it eventually. I think he hopes I might still go into the business someday.”

From that I guessed there was also steel beneath Areeya’s beauty and grace.

Areeya looked down at Alex and then at me. "How are you and Alex?"

I thought for a moment, "I think we’re good Areeya. Things have happened so fast I’m finding it difficult how I feel in perspective. I have never felt this way before. She hit me like a thunderbolt."

"That is how I felt too. She has that effect on people. She can overwhelm you like a mini typhoon." We clinked our beers together, cheers to that.

"Areeya, you are a special person and I am so pleased to have got to know you."

She grinned at that, "So am I forgiven for the wake-up call?"

"Nothing to forgive Areeya, maybe one day I can return the favour."

She giggled, "Mmm, I think I would enjoy that."

Alex reappeared at that moment, still without her top, her breasts a triumph of the cosmetic surgeons’ art. She grabbed my hand, “Let's go down to the cabin, there’s something I need to show you.”

I thought Areeya smirked a little, but all she said was, "Alex, we have 30 minutes before we arrive."

Alex dragged me down to the deck and then into the main stateroom. I couldn’t take my eyes off her breasts as they jiggled in front of me.

She poked me on the arm "Eyes up here, not down there."

"What is it? What do you want to show me?" I asked, half guessing what the answer might be.

"I want to show you how to use the head," she paused for a beat, "and I don’t mean the bloody boat’s toilet."

She pushed me up against the wood panelled wall, stripped off my t-shirt and kissed me hard on the lips. Pushing her tongue into my mouth she used both hands to grab the waist of my swim shorts and push them down to my knees. Still kissing me she stepped out of her shorts as well. Our tongues fought each other for a while as she teased my nipples with her fingers and my hands went down to her bum and pulled her tight towards me. I was hard already, and her cock was pushing into my groin. I was so turned on that this didn’t even give me a pause, and pulled her even tighter, kissing her almost savagely.

She broke away, "Whoa, big boy, we still have 25 minutes to go."

She kissed her way down my chest and sank to her knees, feeling her breath on my cock as she blew gently over the head. She took my balls and rotated them in her hands, making me moan out loud with pleasure. I was shaking with excitement by now and when she took my cock into her mouth, I almost blew then and there, but she let me slip out and licked her way along the shaft.

I had my eyes closed at this point and I heard Alex say, "Open your eyes and look at the opposite wall."

It was a heart stopping scene I saw as I opened my eyes. Reflected in the full-length mirror opposite was the back and head of a girl on her knees kissing the cock of a guy who was leaning naked up against a wall. For a moment, I thought I was watching a porn film. With a little shock I realised that it was Alex and me. She turned round to look straight at me in the mirror and almost in slow motion she reached up with one hand and put her fingers to my lips and I sucked them into my mouth. With the other hand she was stroking my cock. Alex looked straight into my eyes and it felt somehow as if I was falling into another dimension.

She broke the gaze and plunged her mouth over my cock. Staring in fascination at the reflection in the mirror I saw the back of her head bobbing her up and down on me. I soon felt the growing sense of impending release reaching up from my core to wrap around my groin and to explode into life through my cock. I twitched once and then came with a grunt into her mouth. My eyes closed and my knees buckled as I climaxed. Alex kept sucking then rose from her knees and kissed me again, the taste of my cum still on her lips. Alex turned to face the mirror, and we stood together looking at our reflection. This was the first time I had seen her naked in daylight and I was entranced by her cock jutting out from her otherwise totally female figure. She saw me looking, took my hand and placed it gently on her cock. It didn't seem strange any more to be touching it and I stroked it, feeling the soft warm skin hard beneath my fingers. Watching me do this to her was what an out-of-body experience must be, almost as if it were happening to someone else.

Alex whispered, "Later, baby, later, we’re almost there."

We dressed quickly and climbed back up to the flybridge where Areeya looked at us, raised an eyebrow and asked Alex, "Well?"

Alex giggled like a little girl, "I had to show him how to use the head."

Areeya grinned, leant over and brushed something away from the corner of Alex’s lip and looking straight at me sucked her finger. "Tasty."

Needless to say, I blushed.

I could see we were now close to land and Areeya steered Cockatoo closer to the shore. We were heading for what appeared to be a secluded beach and we dropped anchor about twenty metres out. It was a beautiful spot; palm trees fringing the beach, pure white sand, small waves lapping the edge of the beach. A range of small hills provided the perfect backdrop for the setting. We opened the hamper and ate a late breakfast, idly watching the sea and the beach as Cockatoo moved in the slight swell. It was pretty much an idyllic scene, and I felt myself drifting off. Areeya and Alex were chatting about business at the bar and I let them talk as I contemplated the mysteries of the cosmos.

I found it difficult to believe how my life could have changed so much in such a short time. I had arrived on Samui a conventional straight man, yet within 48 hours I had fallen for a transgender woman, and enjoyed more exciting and intense sex with her and a beautiful Thai girl than I could ever have dreamt about. The sheer force of Alex’s personality had ripped open a part of me that had been invisible, sweeping away the inhibitions which had ruled my life up to now. I had done things with her that only a few days ago would have made me curl up with embarrassment to even talk about. But I had done all these things willingly. I glanced across at her at that moment and he saw me looking and poked her tongue out at me then licked her tongue along her lips. It was a perfect example of that mixture of innocence and sensuality I found so alluring. I looked over at the beach and thought it looked familiar.

“Areeya, is this where they filmed The Beach?”

“No, that was on Phi Phi Island near Phuket. The bastards ruined the beach during the filming.” She waved her arm at the beach, “This is unspoilt. Let's go snorkelling, there’s a great reef over there.”

Alex opened one of the bench seats and hauled out masks and flippers. Putting flippers on is a performance at the best of times, but Areeya and Alex had already stripped off their clothes and were now fitting on theirs stark naked. I forgot all about my flippers and stared at all the beautiful flesh a few inches away from me.

Alex saw me looking, "James, close your mouth, it makes you look silly and I told you we are skinny dipping so get those shorts off, now."

I stood and dropped my shorts but I turned my back on the girls to do so. For that I received a sharp slap across the backside from Alex.

"Oww," I protested, rubbing where she had hit me.

"We’ve seen those bits before, so stop being so bloody silly. Areeya and I both like looking at them so we want to see them as often as possible."

If it is possible to blush all over, I did so at that moment. The girls giggled and flapped across the deck to the back of the boat. They both jumped in backwards off the stern and I followed them. It’s difficult to describe how different it feels to swim naked; the warm water seems to flow around your body and without the hindrance of a swimsuit it becomes a sensuous experience. I followed the girls for about 50 metres until we reached a shallow reef not visible from the surface.

I love snorkelling; that wonderful ability to hang in the water and become part of the natural world laid out in front of you. Alex swam over and we spent a little time together floating in the water above the reef, watching the brilliant colours of the fish swimming around us. Areeya signalled we should head back and with some reluctance I followed them over to the boat. I watched first Alex and then Areeya take off their flippers and then climb the boat ladder up to the deck. Their wet and glistening bodies made for an intensely erotic sight as they left the water. I followed, looking far less erotic I think as I climbed the ladder. Alex found towels for us and asked me to get us all a beer.

I went to put on my shorts and Alex immediately grabbed them, "Not so quick, you sea dog. The Captain’s word is law on this boat, so the shorts stay off until I tell you to put them back on."

I saw Areeya roll her eyes at this and I said, "But Areeya’s the skipper."

Areeya said "Humour her, James. I guarantee you won’t get any peace if you don’t do as she says."

For once Alex punched Areeya on the arm and not me.

We sat at the table on the aft deck with the beers and talked about what we had seen at the reef. I became less and less conscious of the fact we were all having a sensible conversation stark naked. In the end, I forgot completely although the chairs got a little uncomfortable.

Alex and Areeya decided we should eat lunch on the boat and then take the tender over to the beach. From somewhere they found aprons for us all and opened the hamper. I was told to fire up the grill, so I made sure I had an apron too. It’s curious that the semi clothed body is sometimes more arousing than a naked one. The sight of the two girls in their aprons which covered their front but were open at the side and back as they moved about the deck had an immediate effect on me. My apron tented out at the front despite my best attempts to think about something else. Of course, Alex had to notice, coming across to give me a long kiss which only made things much worse.

"Later, lover, later." She said.

"Lover." I played with the word in my mind and decided I liked the idea.

The restaurant had made plenty of food for the grill, and before long we sat back with more beers and chilled for a while. Areeya put soft music on the boat's stereo. There was no end to the toys on this boat.

Alex stirred us up. “Let's go over to the beach, while we’re here.”

Areeya, over Alex’s protests insisted we wear clothes for the trip, so we put a few beers in a cool bag and headed to the beach in the small rubber tender, pulling it up onto the beach. It was a lovely spot and there was nobody around at all, only a few fishing boats far away in the distance. We found a shaded spot under some palms, put down blankets we had brought from the boat and watched the view. I noticed that Alex had a tattoo above her left hip. It was a phrase in Thai calligraphy, almost a work of art.

I drew my finger along the tattoo and asked her what it meant. "Kwai lub mai mee nai loke, There is no secret that will not be revealed."

"It's beautiful, I love it," I said to her, and she kissed me.

I laid back and with the effect of the beers and the sea air I nodded off to sleep in no time at all. How long I had been asleep for when I woke up I couldn't tell, but judging by the sun it had been a while. Looking around, I couldn't see anyone and a moment’s panic flared about being left behind, but I saw the boat still swinging on its anchor. I stretched and thought Alex and Areeya had gone for a walk, but couldn’t see them in either direction along the beach. To the left there was a small hill at the end of the beach and they weren’t there, so I turned to the right and walked by the side of the breaking waves. I had gone about a hundred metres to where a line of palms almost came down the water when I heard laughing. Gotcha, I thought. I crept up through the palms hoping to surprise them. As I got closer, I could still hear them. Alex’s giggling and Areeya’s laughter meant they were close. I was about to push through the small bushes that grew with the palms but caught sight of them through a gap in the bushes and I stood stock still.

They had spread their towels out in a clearing beyond the bushes and they were lying there naked, intertwined and passionately kissing. I dropped to my knees to avoid them seeing me and found I could still see through the screen of bushes. As I watched Alex got onto her knees and moved into a 69 position with Areeya on the bottom. I watched spellbound as Alex lapped her tongue along Areeya’s pussy and Areeya had Alex’s cock in her mouth and was sucking hard. I had never thought of myself as a voyeur, but the sight of the two girls pleasuring each other unaware of my presence made my cock rise. They were going for it now, their bodies tanned and glistening with sweat, as they licked and sucked each other.

My cock was now hard, and I rubbed it through my shorts. Areeya was reaching a climax, and she broke off from her sucking, rolled Alex onto her back, straddled her and drove herself onto Alex’s erect and waiting cock. Alex moaned as Areeya rode her in a violent frenzy. Areeya was moving up and down on Alex so fast it seemed only seconds before Alex bucked her hips upwards "Uhhhh," as she climaxed followed by Areeya’s own orgasm which made her arch her back and cry out. They continued their coupling for a few seconds before falling into each other’s arms. The sight of Alex with her girl’s body and man’s cock driving up into the beautiful Areeya was too much for me and I almost came in my shorts. It was at that moment Alex said, "Did you enjoy the show, James?”

I jumped up and hit my head on a branch.

"Serves you right, we heard you lumbering through the bushes like a baby elephant," Alex called out. "You can come out and join us now."

I walked sheepishly through the bushes to find them cuddling each other. I was embarrassed to be caught watching them and said, "I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to watch you."

Alex arched her eyes, “But it didn’t stop you, did it?”

I blushed yet again. When will I ever stop doing that?

"Well, no, but I mean, I shouldn’t have watched."

Areeya and Alex both laughed and Areeya said, "James, it was actually hot for us to think you were there watching us. I hope that next time you will join us instead of watching."

I almost passed out at the thought.

Alex told me to lie down with them and I needed no second invitation. They moved so I could lay between them and they immediately kissed each other right over my face. Alex then broke off to kiss and suck my nipples as Areeya kissed me on the lips. I was now hard again as they continued their assault on me.

"Right, that’s enough, we have to get back to the boat," barked Alex, standing up and looking down at me. Areeya move away too and left me stranded on my back with my erection sticking out of my shorts.

"Why? what?" I stammered, totally confused with what was going on.

"That’s punishment for spying on us," said Alex, grinning her head off. "Seriously, we have to set off back but I promise we will make it up to you later."

With that the two of them pulled their clothes back on and strode off towards the tender. When we got back to the boat, Areeya wanted to leave straight away so we could get back to Samui before we lost the light. We hauled up the anchor and the two diesel engines roared into life. We pulled away from the beach in a graceful arc and set course for Samui. Areeya was at the helm and Alex and I had the chance to have an overdue talk.

“Alex, I'm sorry but I have only three days holiday left, then I have to get back to Bangkok.”

“Can't you get some more holiday?”

I shook my head, “Not right now, my project won't allow it.”

Alex was quiet, and I knew she was worried about me leaving her again.

“Alex, I meant what I said about how I feel about you, and I'm not going to change when I get back to Bangkok.”

She was chewing her lip, something I remember old Alex doing when he was worried.

“I can fly back as soon as I can get a weekend, but it might not be for a while. Please be patient, I will come back. Can’t you fly up to Bangkok?”

“No, I can't leave the restaurant and bars just like that, and there's the new venture to get started.”

At that moment, one engine coughed then died, followed quickly by the second. In the sudden silence Alex and I looked at each other, then she ran up to the flybridge to help Areeya. With power lost and no way of keeping Cockatoo moving we rolled in the swell. The sea wasn’t rough, but it was disturbing all the same. I climbed up after Alex to find Areeya trying to restart the engines, they were turning over but would not fire up.

“We’ve got plenty of fuel,” said Areeya. “I filled the tanks yesterday. I'm going below to check the engines.”

“Can we call for help?” I said. Areeya tried the radio but there was nothing.

“Shit,” said Areeya. “We've lost all power too. The batteries should have kicked in, but we've lost the navigation system and GPS.” Areeya disappeared below and I felt a niggle of worry.

“Maybe we’ll get spotted by another boat.”

“Perhaps” said Alex. “But we’re half way to Samui and not on a main route, so it might not be that easy.”

I tried my mobile, but I had no signal and neither did Alex. Areeya came back up from below, her hands and t-shirt streaked with oil. She tried the engines again. They didn't even turn over this time.

At that moment, I spotted something off the starboard side, "Look, there’s a fishing boat."

Areeya grabbed the binoculars and took a long look at the approaching boat. "I hope it is," she said.

"What do you mean?".

"We sometimes get pirates out here operating from the mainland. It’s pretty lawless over there and it’s becoming more of a problem."

Somehow I suspected these pirates wouldn’t be the kind from Pirates of The Caribbean.

The boat was approaching fast, and it looked like one the dozens of Thai fishing boats you saw around Samui. When it came close enough, Areeya shouted across to someone on the other boat. Alex translated for me, "The guy is asking what the problem is and Areeya is telling him we have lost the engines and can we get a tow to Samui. He says OK, but I don’t know, something seems to be off here. Now he’s saying he needs someone to come on board to help us and Areeya is saying all they have to do is pass a line and we’ll secure it. He says unless he has someone on board, he won’t give us a tow."

The fishing boat then came close and one of their crew made the jump between the two boats. I heard Areeya scream with pain and Alex shouted, "Fuck!" and climbed down the stairs to the aft deck. I could see from the flybridge that the guy was carrying what looked like an AK47 and had clubbed Areeya with it. She was slumped bleeding on the deck and Alex by her side. The guy was screaming in Thai at Alex and she ignored him as she tried to help Areeya. I knew I only a few moments and the only thing I could think of was to hit the emergency transponder that Areeya had shown me earlier. I had no idea if it would work but I prayed that it had a battery of its own.

The guy realised there was someone else left on the fly bridge and he let loose a burst from the machine gun and shouted something in Thai at me. Alex shouted, "Come down, James, or he says he’ll shoot us."

I came down the stairs with my hands in the air. He was still shouting at me and gesturing for me to get to the other side of the deck from the girls. Areeya looked in a bad way, blood was pouring from a head wound which Alex was trying to staunch with a towel. It was already scarlet with blood and Alex was weeping. Another guy from the boat made the jump and ran to the bow with a rope which he made fast to our boat. He then jumped back leaving the guy with the AK47 on our aft deck.

I said, "Alex, don’t worry we’ll get out of this if we stay calm." This produced another burst from the gun into the air and he screamed "NO TALK.”

I felt Cockatoo stagger as the other boat took up the tow and we began to move. It was now getting dark, and I thought our prospects looked slim. The guy kept the gun trained on me as I guess he saw me as the main threat. He had already shown he was trigger happy, so I kept still and tried to see how Alex was getting on with Areeya. The bleeding at least seemed to have stopped but Areeya looked to be unconscious and Alex was smeared with her blood. I guessed it had been about half an hour since the boarding and thought every passing moment increased the chance he would get fed up with guarding us and get rid of us. Which is what I thought would happen, anyway. There was no way I was simply going to wait for him to shoot us all.

We were making only a few knots under tow, and I knew there was only a short time in which to do anything. If I could disarm the guy, we might at least have a chance, but the only weapon I could see was the large knife we had used for cutting up the food. It was a few inches from my hand but I couldn’t move with his gun on me.

I said to Alex in English as fast as I could, "Count to 30 and then ask him for water." He screamed, "NO TALK" and tried to hit my head with the stock of the gun. He missed my head but caught my shoulder which gave me a stinger down my arm. "Shit, I thought, that wouldn’t help, but I had to go for it.

Ales looked frightened, but I moved my head to tell her to go ahead and she seemed to get the message. I had counted to 25 when she said something in Thai to him and he glanced her way before screaming back at her. It gave me enough time to pick up the knife and hide it behind my arm.

‘Here we go,’ I thought to myself, ‘it’s now or never.’

I fell to my knees and shouted, "Please don’t kill me, please don’t kill me."

He jerked his attention back to me and took a step forwards as he raised the AK47 to bring it down on my head. For a millisecond he left himself open, and I flung myself at him driving the knife up and into his rib cage. He grunted and our momentum took us to the back rail of the boat. At that same moment the boat staggered as the tow rope tightened knocking us both off balance and his finger must have pulled the trigger. He fired a burst into the air but as I went to grab the gun, I felt a massive thump on my side, knocking me sideways followed by a burning pain. The tow rope slackened this time and Cockatoo staggered in the water once more, this time with enough force to throw both of us over the rail and into the sea.

"Fuck," I thought as the water closed over my head, "This wasn’t part of the plan."

Chapter 7

I had no idea how long I had spent under water, but I could see a bright light above me and I thought it must be the sun shining through the water as I clawed myself towards the surface. But, I thought, ‘No, that can’t be. It was dark when I fell in.’ The light grew brighter and brighter and I wondered if I was dead. I tried to open my eyes, but it was so bright I couldn’t force my eyelids open. I thought I could hear voices, but they seemed to be a long way away, and I strained to hear but couldn’t quite make anything out.

I tried to move my arms to cover my eyes from the light but I couldn’t move, and I felt angry to be this helpless. Concentrating hard on my fingers I felt one move a fraction. I could definitely hear voices now and they were closer. Someone said something in a language I couldn’t understand, and I wanted to tell them to speak English. I concentrated hard again and my eyelids flickered. Maybe if I tried I could even open my eyes. I strained as hard as I could and with a rush my eyes were open, but I had to close them again as the light was dazzling.

Someone lifted my hand, and I felt cool fingers around my wrist. I opened one eye a fraction and it slowly adjusted to the light. I couldn’t focus for a moment, all I could see were shades of light and dark. I could now hear different voices and they were excited about something. I seemed to be lying on my back, unable to move and my side ached.

Slowly, my focus returned, and a face appeared and shone a bright light into my eye which made me close it again. "Oww," I moaned and felt someone touch my eyelids and gently moved them apart.

"James. James, can you hear me?"

"Of course, I can bloody hear you, I’m not deaf," I wanted to scream, but all I heard was, "Eunff.”

"He’s definitely coming round, doctor.” I forced open my other eye and I could see I was in a room with sunlight streaming through the windows. I found I could now move my arm a little but something tugged on it and I felt a sharp pain.

"Try to lay still, James, you have a drip in your arm and I don’t want you to pull it out."

Drip in my arm, that’s funny I thought and giggled. A sharp pain in my side stopped that I raised my head a fraction and then it flopped back again as if my neck muscles didn’t seem to work.

"James, do you know where you are?" The voice sounded American which confused me. I tried to speak but my mouth was so dry my tongue was stuck to the top of my mouth.

"Meriga?"

Someone laughed, then another voice joined in. "No, you’re in hospital in Thailand."

"Oh, how did I get there? I live in England."

Another small laugh. "You’re in hospital in Koh Samui, James. You’ve been hurt but you will be OK. Your side might be sore but I’ll give you something for the pain if it gets too bad."

My mind cleared a little, and I lifted my head to look around. I saw the woman who had been speaking to me, dressed in a white coat with a stethoscope around her neck and in the background another woman also dressed in white.

"I’m Doctor Wichasak, and this is Nurse Taksin," she smiled down at me. Both looked Thai, but the doctor spoke with an American accent.

"How did I get here? Was I in an accident?"

"James, all in good time, I want you to rest, and later on we will tell you what happened."

"Okay, dokey, that’s fine, thank you so much..." My head hit the pillow and everything turned to black.

When I woke up the next time, the room was dark but with a dim light illuminating the room. I came round more quickly this time, and I was more conscious of the ache in my side as well as a raging headache. I tried to raise myself off the bed but the drip in my arm tugged the skin and I fell back. My other arm was free, and I rubbed my eyes with my hand and felt a bandage on my shoulder. I must have been in a big accident I thought. What had happened? I could remember a boat and being at sea and falling into water. Small jigsaw pieces of memory surfaced, and a picture of Areeya bleeding on deck and Alex with blood all over her flashed into my mind. I went cold and yelled for a nurse. Someone came into the room and I shouted. "What happened to them, what happened to the girls?" I was yelling at the top of my voice.

"It’s OK, sir. I’ll get someone to come."

She vanished, and I fell back on the bed. "Christ, please let them be OK, please let them be OK."

I heard the door open and heard the nurse say, "I have someone who wants to see you,"

I looked up and there was Alex, smiling nervously.

"Alex, thank God, you’re alright." I was almost weeping with relief.

"I’m fine, I’m fine James, and more to the point how are you? You look better than the last time I saw you.” She held my hand and gently squeezed it. "You had us scared you know."

"Is Areeya alright too?" I said.

"James, I’m fine too, thank you," Areeya was standing on the other side of my bed and she picked up my other hand. She had her head wrapped in a large white bandage that dipped dramatically over one eye.

I squeezed both their hands and I could see tears in Alex’s eyes. "We thought we had lost you, baby, but it’s OK now, sweetheart." She leant down and kissed me on the lips.

"What happened?" I asked.

"That’s enough for now, I think," I could see Doctor Wichasak at the back.

"I promise you we’ll tell you, in the morning," Alex said as the Doctor shooed them out of the room.

"You have two big fans, there James. They haven’t been away from the hospital since you arrived."

"How long is that, doctor?”

"It’s been five days, now."

She gave me some water and a painkiller and I drifted off to sleep again. When I woke again, the room was full of light this time. I looked across to the window and I saw Alex and Areeya dozing in chairs. I watched them for a while and both looked tired. Areeya was still wearing the bandage and had what looked like the remains of the mother and father of a black eye. Alex stirred and opened her eyes.

"Hello, sweetheart, I’m so glad to see you.”

She stood up, came over to kiss me and started to cry again.

"Ssshh," I tried to hold her but the drip in my arm stopped me. I reached over my other hand and stroked her hair. "It’s OK, it’s OK."

She stood up and holding my hand, said, "I thought I had lost you, James, and I couldn’t bear that, and then I got you back and I never want to lose you again."

"Tell me what happened.”

"Wait, let me wake Areeya, she has to do this with me." She turned and woke Areeya who came over and held my other hand.

"What do you remember? Alex asked.

“I can remember being on the boat, and the pirate coming on board. Areeya was hurt, then I stabbed him and I fell in the sea. That’s all.”

"Well, after you and the pirate had gone over the back, I was screaming and Areeya was still out of it, but her bleeding had at least stopped. I let the tender loose and threw out all the life jackets and cushions I could find in case you could grab something. The pirates dropped the tow and came back to see what had happened. I grabbed the rifle that the pirate had dropped and let off several bursts at them. I must have hit someone because I heard a scream and their boat backed off. I think they must have panicked because they disappeared into the dark and never came back."

I looked at Alex with new respect.

"I was frantic with worry about you but had to look after Areeya. We drifted for what seemed like hours and then we heard a helicopter approaching with a searchlight underneath. Just after that, a coastguard boat hove to alongside and their medic looked after Areeya. The emergency transponder you set off had worked and had gone through to Areeya’s father. He called the coastguard to come looking for us. They had a medic who looked after Areeya, and towed us back to Samui."

I squeezed Areeya’s hand, "I am so glad you are OK," She squeezed back, "Thank you, I too am thankful you are well, James."

Alex squeezed my hand again, "I told them about you and they radioed the helicopter which went off to search for you. I heard later that they were about to give up when they spotted you in the water. It seems you had grabbed a cushion and hung on to that. They hoisted you out of the water, but you were pretty far gone with blood loss and exposure. They flew you straight to Samui and into hospital."

"Alex, you saved my life by throwing the cushions into the water, thank you for that." I was about to cry.

"But you saved all our lives, James, by doing what you did, that was the bravest thing to do."

"I didn’t think we would have lasted long with the guy with rifle, so I thought I had to do something. Going over the back off the boat wasn’t in the plan." I grimaced at the memory. "I can’t remember anything after going over the back of the boat until I woke up here.”

"After Areeya and I got back to Samui, she called her father, who was about to leave to fly here, and he organised for Doctor Wichasak to fly over with him as she had lots of experience with gunshot wounds from time she spent time in the US."

At the mention of the gunshot, I felt the throbbing in my side flare up again.

"You had lost a lot of blood and they weren’t sure you would pull through," her lip trembled and I squeezed her hand, "You needed a lot of blood to stabilise you but you hung in there and by the time Doctor Wichasak got here you had a fighting chance. She said that you had an enormous will to live which helped pull you through."

I squeezed both their hands, “I have a lot to live for, and a lot to be thankful for." I think by now we were all in tears.

Alex said, "You’re pretty much up to date. You’ve been out cold for about five days, as they kept you under to help the recovery from the gunshot."

"How are you Areeya? That bandage looks dramatic."

"He hit me hard with the gun as he came aboard and I was unconscious for a long time, Alex stopped my bleeding and I only came round when you tackled the pirate. It looks worse than it feels now. I should have the bandage off today or tomorrow. Thank you for being so brave, I think that saved all our lives."

"Can I thank your father please, Areeya?"

"I rather think he wants to thank you," replied Areeya.

"Oh my God, what about my work? I need to let them know" I started to panic.

"Calm down, James, it’s all in hand. We told them and it’s all taken care of. They flew over a temp for your project, so it’s all good. They told me that you should take the time to recuperate and contact them when you feel up to it. I’ll tell them you are awake again."

I lay back as I suddenly felt exhausted. I think the truth about what had happened hit me and it shook me how close I had been to death and to losing the two people that mattered most to me in the world.

Alex said gently, "We’ll leave you to get some rest. If you’re not careful, I’ll bring you in some Lucozade tonight."

"Don’t you dare, I hate the stuff."

"I know," she said. She grinned, and I knew Alex was back on form.

As they left I heard Areeya say, "Lucozade? Is that some kind of drug?"

"Yeah, sort of," replied Alex.

I smiled and fell asleep.

I stayed in hospital for another three days. The bullet had entered through my right side under my ribs and exited higher on my back; a few more centimetres to the left and I would not have survived. There would be a scar but it could have been so much worse. Every day I felt a little better and the second day after I came round I was walking with a little help. I was weak more than anything and although the wound itself was sore and the dressings had to be changed regularly, I felt so much better.

On the third day they were happy to release me and Areeya had come to collect me. Doctor Wichasak had flown back to Bangkok with Areeya’s father on his company plane and I thanked everyone else who had looked after me at the hospital. Areeya said her father would be flying down at the weekend to visit all of us.

I collected my painkillers and walked out with a cane to support me, thankful to breathe in the fresh air and to feel the sunshine on my skin. Areeya said that Alex was waiting for us so we got a taxi and headed off. It was early evening, and I expected us to go back to the flat but we drove past Koh Samui Blue and pulled up outside Cockatoo. As Areeya helped me out if the taxi I noticed a big new banner outside the bar.

“That looks new, what does it say?”

She smiled, "I will translate. It says Welcome home James, You brave and fearless warrior."

You’re right, I blushed, this time down to the soles of my feet.

"Areeya, that’s crazy, I am none of those things."

"James, we disagree. We think you are and we wish to say thank you for your courage."

I kissed her and mumbled a thank you in return.

Alex stood outside the bar beaming from ear to ear. She took my arm and helped me up the step into the bar itself. "It's a little party to welcome you back," she whispered. "Just a few friends and so on."

I spotted Pao who waved happily, came across and gave me a kiss. "We glad to see you Mister James."

"Thank you Pao, I am glad to see you too," she beamed and glanced quickly at Alex who smiled back at her. Alex led me across to a seat at the bar and a glass of Scotch appeared from somewhere.

I looked concerned. "Don’t worry," Alex said, "I checked and so long as you don’t drink a bucketful it’s OK." As it almost seemed to be on doctor’s orders I took a healthy slug. The party was in full swing and I was introduced to many of Alex and Areeya’s friends. Pao had taken it upon herself to be my bodyguard for the evening and kept people well away from my bad side. I was growing fond of her, especially as she kept my glass topped up with Scotch.

The TV was not playing either the usual mix of sports and music videos but what appeared to be a loop of film taken from a helicopter. I realised with a start that it was footage that had been shot by the coastguard helicopter which rescued us.

Areeya materialised next to me, "It’s been on the news ever since it happened. Do you mind it playing here?"

I shook my head, and she squatted down beside me, took my hand and I watched fascinated as the footage played on the TV. There was commentary in Thai but you didn’t need it to understand what had happened. From above it showed the arrival of the Coast Guard cutter next to the Cockatoo and crew jumping across to Cockatoo. The camera zoomed in for a moment and you could clearly see Areeya being treated by a medic and Alex smeared in blood urgently talking to the crew and pointing out the back of the boat. The helicopter then turned and flew off. The film was edited so there were a few shots of the searchlight across a dark sea and then a shout from a crew member. The camera zoomed in on a figure in the water hanging onto a cushion. It was with a jolt that I realised it was me. A rescue swimmer plunged into the water, swam across to me, turned and gave a thumbsup to the helicopter. He dragged me into a harness and we were both winched up into the air.

It was only then that I realised the bar had gone quiet and people were looking at me. Someone started to clap and then the whole bar joined in, everyone clapping and cheering. I felt myself going red and tried to make myself disappear. Alex was half crying and half laughing and Areeya was in bits too. The three of us gathered together for a photograph and smiled for the cameras, our arms round each other. Everyone was happy and smiling, so why did I feel such a fraud?

I started to feel tired, so we said our goodbyes and left the party still going strong. I went over to Pao and thanked her for looking after me and gave her a kiss. She smiled shyly but looked happy. Alex was watching and said under her breath, "I knew I would have to keep an eye on that one.”

I turned to her, "Pao is sweet, she means no harm.'

Alex laughed, "I didn’t mean her, I meant you."

We got a cab back to the flat even though it wasn’t far but I don’t think I could have made the walk. They both had to help me up the stairs to the flat and by the time I had reached the top I was bushed. We had a last drink on the balcony watching the sea lap onto the beach and it was strange to think that these quiet waves were part of the same ocean that had come close to claiming my life.

Alex asked quietly if I wanted to sleep alone tonight and I told her that I had enough of sleeping by myself for a while. She nodded, "Let’s get you to bed first, shall we? Do you want to shower tonight?"

"No, just the toilet, I can shower in the morning."

I got to the toilet without much trouble, took my painkillers and made it back to the bed on my own. Alex was in the bathroom and Areeya helped me to remove my jeans as I was still unable to bend much. I felt no embarrassment in front of her now and she gently helped me onto the bed. Alex came out of the bathroom in her robe and Areeya passed her on the way in. She sat next to me on the bed and bent her head to look at the wound. There was still a small dressing covering it and she traced the line between the entry and exit wounds with her finger.

"Were you frightened?"

”Honestly, after I fell in, I can’t remember a thing, but I’m sure I would have been."

"And when you went for the guy with the gun?"

"I was more scared of doing nothing, I think. I thought we would be dead if we stood there. I was scared of dying that way, so doing nothing wasn’t an option. I wasn’t brave, just desperate."

She shrugged off her robe and slipped naked into bed beside me. She snuggled as close as she could without touching my side. She leant over and kissed me.

"I’m so glad I didn’t lose you. And what you did was the bravest thing that any man could have done," she whispered.

Areeya came out of the bathroom at that moment and headed for the other bedroom.

"Areeya, wait," I called out to her. "Would you please stay with us, please? I want us to be together tonight."

Areeya looked at Alex and she nodded her agreement. I squeezed Alex’s hand to say thank you.

"James, are you sure?" Areeya said.

Areeya, it would mean a lot to me if you would."

She dimmed the lights and dropped her robe to the floor by the bed. I saw she too was naked as she slipped into the bed beside me. She cuddled up to me and she reached out for my hand and we kissed.

"My turn to say thank you,"

I lay there between the two of them and listened to them as their breathing gradually slowed and they drifted off to sleep.

I found it difficult to fall asleep, for what I had not told them was that ever since I had come round in the hospital I would wake in the night in the middle of a nightmare. I was the one left on the boat this time, and it was Alex and Areeya in the water drifting off into the darkness. They were looking right at me as they slowly disappeared from sight, but I was rooted to the spot, unable to move my arms or legs or even to cry out. As they were finally lost from sight, I would wake up covered in sweat. I hoped that having them close tonight would bring some relief.

I woke to the sound of the waves outside, and the smell of coffee. I was alone in the bed and I had no idea what time it was, but the sun was already bright through the blinds. It was a few minutes before I realised that I had slept through without waking up and for the first time since the attack I felt refreshed.

Alex was sitting at the desk using the MacBook and Areeya was nowhere to be seen. She had her robe on, her hair was up in a knot on her head and I was surprised to see a pair of elegant glasses perched on her nose.

"Mmm," I said, "I like that high powered woman executive look."

She started as she heard me speak and whipped off the glasses. "Steady tiger, we don’t want to pop our stitches this early in the morning, do we? I see someone is feeling better today."

I smiled, yawned and stretched then winced as the painkillers had worn off.

"OK, not so much a tiger, more a raggedy arsed tom cat by the look of it." She grinned as she walked across, knelt by the bed and gave me a passionate kiss.

"Mmm, nice, but what’s that for?" I asked.

She held her hand up and counted off on her fingers, "One, I love you. Two, you’re the best-looking bloke in the room. Three, that was so nice what you did with Areeya last night. Four, I can dream it’s Hugh Grant waking up in my bed and fifth, I’m feeling horny."

I laughed and kissed her back. "I need a shower. Where is Areeya?"

"Out at the boat, she’s supervising repairs to it this morning." Alex said as she walked back to the desk.

"OK, mind if I head to the shower?" I yawned again

"Knock yourself out," she said, and then quickly, "Oh my God, I didn’t mean that, my mouth works quicker than my brain sometimes."

I laughed, "I know exactly how fast your mouth works."

"Mmm," she said, "I’m looking forward to seeing how quickly yours can work, sweetie."

I laughed and walked slowly across to the bathroom.

I had learnt how to shower myself to keep the dressings dry, but with a bit of luck they would come off in the next couple of days. I had turned on the water and was waiting for it to warm up and I heard the door open. I turned around and there was Alex in her robe, hair still up on her head and wearing her power dressing glasses.

She said in husky voice, "Ever had that fantasy where the mousy looking girl takes off her glasses, lets her hair down and turns into a stripper?”

As she said this, she shook out her hair, threw the glasses in the corner of the bathroom and let the robe drop to the floor.

Hand on hip, she said, "Will I do?"

I grabbed her without falling over completely and drew her into me for a long kiss.

"I take it that’s a yes, then, sir?"

"Oh, yeah, that’s a big fat yes."

She led me into the shower which was big enough for about five people without even touching the sides. It was a big rain forest shower with a glass wall separating the shower from the rest of the bathroom. Alex led me under the shower head and washed me with a wash cloth. I tell you, it is possibly the most decadent feeling in the world to be washed by someone else. Of course, Alex made sure it was an all-over shower. She started washing my chest carefully avoiding the dressings and then over my back.

She moved to my cock and then my balls and I had my eyes close and wishing this was a cold shower. Inevitably, my cock decided all on its own to react and stiffened in her hands. She grinned, gave me a quick peck on the lips and turned her attention to my bum. She washed each cheek in turn giving each a kiss before moving the cloth slowly up and down my crack and suddenly I felt a finger rubbing me back there. This was something new for me and I started to turn round and she said firmly, "Don’t turn round. Stay where you are." Her other hand came round and started to stroke my cock which was pointing true north. She continued to rub her soapy finger around my rosebud, whilst still stroking my cock. I felt her tits up against my back and could also feel her cock against the back of my thighs.

I was being overwhelmed by the sensations she was generating, and it literally making me weak at the knees. This was an assault on my senses that was pushing me to my limits. Her finger, slippery with soap, now slid its way into my hole as she kept up a steady rhythm on my cock.

"OOOhhhh," I heard myself say as her finger slipped a little further in and my knees buckled even more. One finger became two, and somewhere in my head that little dark voice said "Stop, this is wrong" and the light voice said "It feels so good, it can’t be bad."

Sensing I was close to a climax, Alex withdrew her fingers turned me round and pushed me up against the glass shower wall. She dropped to her knees and took my cock into her mouth. I felt it slide in deeper than it had before as she took the whole length into her mouth. Her tongue was swirling around the head, and as she pulled back, she flicked her tongue underneath and I nearly lost it there and then. She was a master at knowing when to hold back to prolong the pleasure and when to speed things up. She focused on the head, sucking and licking it with her lips and tongue. I looked down at her and she looked me straight back into my eyes and that did it for me. She knew and stroked my cock until I felt the warmth come up from my groin and straight into my cock. I came with a grunt and my legs buckled.

Alex took all my cum into her mouth and then stood up to face me. She kissed me hard on the lips, her tongue opening my lips and I suddenly realised this time she hadn’t swallowed and was pushing my cum into my mouth. I gagged a little as I tasted it on my tongue, but Alex kept her lips locked over mine until I was forced to swallow. She broke the kiss and pushed her middle finger into my mouth and I rolled my tongue over and around it, licking and sucking as she moved her finger in and out.

"Not so bad, is it?" she whispered.

Chapter 8

Alex shut off the water and we dried each other off. Alex slipped her robe back on and I wrapped a towel around my waist. We returned to the bedroom where I sat on the edge of the bed. There was something I needed to do, and I knew if I didn’t do it now I may never have the courage again. I asked Alex to come over, and she stood in front of me with a quizzical look on her face. I moved my legs apart so I could reach out and pull her close to me. Without saying anything I reached up and undid the tie on her robe and it fell open. My eyes locked on hers as I reached out and placed my hands gently on her breasts. I felt the nipples harden under my hands and I knew how much Alex enjoyed having them touched. She moaned softly s I played with her nipples for a while and I saw her close her eyes.

Her cock was pretty much level with my face and I could see it begin to harden as she grew more aroused. I dropped my hands from her breasts and I leant forwards slightly and kissed the tip of her cock. She opened her eyes wide and jumped at the touch which made her cock quiver, but I couldn’t afford to laugh and spoil the mood.

"Oh baby, "she cooed, "you don’t need to do that."

"I want to do it, and I need to do it now," I said as I looked up at her.

Her eyes were wide, and she twisted her lip between her teeth.

"Just be patient with me.”

She nodded and kept looking down at me.

I tried to remember what she had done to me and what had given me the most pleasure. Men should be the world’s best at sucking cocks as we know what works for us. We expect women to throw themselves without hesitation onto our cocks, yet it’s something that most men would never contemplate doing. Yes, we will go down on our women, but to do what they do to us is simply beyond the pale. I loved Alex and if that meant anything, this was something that couldn’t be ignored as it was part of her. She wanted to give me pleasure, and I wanted to give her pleasure in return. It was as simple as that. I was as nervous as a kitten but I knew this was something that I wanted to do and that I had to do it right now.

I kissed the tip again and Alex almost involuntarily moved her hips forwards and her cock slid away from my lips and down the side of my face. I heard her whisper "Sorry, baby" and she pulled back a little. Reaching out with one hand I gently stroked the shaft and again it twitched and seemed to grow harder, so I opened my lips and took the head into my mouth.

I don’t know what to expect and it surprised me how soft and warm and spongy it felt. I recalled what Alex had done to me, and I licked the head with my tongue and rocked back and forward and the head slid gently in and out of my lips. That dark voice in my head was saying ‘You’re sucking a cock’ and the other said ‘Yeah, so what? You love her’

"Yes, yes, please." She moaned and her head was thrown backwards as she arched her back.

I was still stroking the shaft, and I flicked my tongue on the little spot under the head which gets me going every time, and I was gratified to feel Alex twitch as I did so. She moaned again and her hands came down to rest on my head.

"Baby, that’s so good, I love that.” She was encouraging me and breathing harder now.

I remembered pleading with my ex to keep her teeth out of the way, not that she always did, so I made sure to be careful with Alex. She was getting aroused and as I slipped her cock between my lips, I felt the hardness grow beneath the softness of the skin. I started to move my head backwards and forwards faster and faster as I felt her cock getting harder.

"Ayyee," Alex moaned, and I felt I must be getting something right.

I kept one hand wrapped around the shaft and she was now thrusting her hips backwards and forwards, not always in time with me but it seemed to be doing the trick. Her movements accelerated and her cock began to twitch. I was scared she was going to come in my mouth but as her legs buckled, she said, "Urrggh, I’m coming," She pulled out of my mouth and her cum flew all over my chest. She almost fell but kept her feet and I leant forward one more time to kiss the quivering tip and I licked the cum that was still oozing from her slit.

I looked up into her eyes, smiled, "You taste nice too."

Alex was about to leap onto my lap but remembered at the last moment that might not be a good idea, and instead pulled me up to my feet, threw her arms around me and gave me a huge kiss.

"James, that was fabulous. Are you sure you haven’t done that before? Suspiciously good for a first time if you ask me. Oh, you made me so happy."

I had to laugh to see her so excited.

"I’m sorry, I don’t think that was good, but I seemed to get something right."

"James, that was perfect, I loved it, but let’s get you cleaned up."

I had forgotten that I still had cum all over my chest. She ran to the bathroom and came back with the cloth and carefully wiped my chest.

"I’m sorry about that, I was aiming for your face." She saw me stare, "I’m joking, I was in no shape to aim anything. It’s lucky it didn’t hit the window."

We both collapsed in giggles at that and she kissed me again.

"Was it so bad?" she asked.

I thought for a moment, shrugged my shoulders, "Well, it was alright, but I don’t think I'll be trying it again soon."

Her face fell but I couldn’t keep a straight face and started to laugh.

"Bastard, bastard, bastard" she shouted and went to hit me and pulled back in time.

"I am tempted to pull your stitches out with my tweezers. Look, I have to go do some work, but if you need anything, call me. You can use the MacBook if you want.”

She dressed quickly and gave me a last kiss and was about to walk through the door when she stopped and looked back.

"Oh, and don’t forget Kritsada is coming this evening to see us. We’re going to have drinks up here and then we’ll have dinner in the restaurant." With that, she waved goodbye and skipped down the stairs. I made myself a coffee, still with the towel around me and settled down on one of the loungers.

So, how did I feel about what had happened?

I honestly didn't know what to think. I hadn’t disliked it, and I enjoyed giving Alex pleasure that way. I enjoyed what she did to me, so why should it be any different for me? I was pushing boundaries which would have been inconceivable for me only weeks ago. What happened on the boat and afterwards had changed the way I looked at life. Life was not something that would go on and on forever. It could change in an instant, and it could be over in an instant. Nothing is fixed or permanent. Life was far more fluid than I had ever imagined, and I needed to embrace that if I was to enjoy my second chance at life. Plans we make can be dashed to pieces in the blink of an eye. As the proverb has it ‘Man plans and God laughs.’

I had broken so many taboos so far, and I wondered what more I would have to confront. I also realised I hadn’t blushed at all this morning - that had to be progress.

Alex had remembered to cancel my hotel room and had arranged for my stuff to be brought over to the flat. So, for the first time in more than a week I had something more than a pair of jeans to wear. I found a pair of shorts and slipped on a fresh t-shirt.

I had deliberately not checked my email since the boat trip and found my inbox was full. The video of the rescue had gone viral and my name was all over it. I googled ‘Cockatoo rescue’ as well as a few other phrases, and couldn’t believe the coverage the rescue had received. Alex and Areeya had screened me from the worst of it while I was in hospital, but I had to face up to it now. A lot of the mail was from friends saying they had seen the video and wanted to know if I was OK. Some of it was from crazies who probably stalked anybody who was famous for five minutes. The story was already out of the news, so I wasn't too worried.

There were offers for me to endorse products or requests for money to help a sick relative together with several offers of marriage from women, and one from a man. I was being asked to do interviews from almost everywhere, which I definitely wouldn’t be doing. There was even an author who wanted to turn it into a novel. The dross I binned and put together a message to my friends and acquaintances thanking them for their concern and assuring them I was fine and things were getting back to normal.

There was even one from my ex, telling me how worried she was and did I want her to fly out to Thailand to look after me. Now, that could make for an interesting visit. Maybe she could walk in on me in bed with Alex? That would be so ironic after what she had done. But, imagining what Alex’s reaction would be, I decided I didn’t have a death wish for me or her, so politely declined her kind offer.

There were a few messages from work assuring me I should get well before coming back to work. I sensed they were slyly happy about the publicity the firm had got from me being mentioned so much. There was even a press release from them saying how pleased they were that I was OK and that I had been working in Thailand for them, yada, yada, yada. There was also an email from HR complaining about the cost of my medical treatment.

More importantly, there were a couple from the temporary project manager who had arrived in Bangkok. She was asking if we could talk about the project, and if I was well enough could I call her? I didn’t recognise her name, Samantha White, but it was a big company, so not so surprising. That was a priority, so I called her straight away. It was the usual bad connection from Samui.

“Hi, James, thanks for calling. How are you?”

“Getting there Samantha, everything is sore more than anything now. How can I help?’

“I wanted to catch up with you and share some ideas for going forward, but I don't think we can do it over the phone if it's as bad as this.”

“Well, I'm not cleared to fly to Bangkok yet, so why don't you come over here?”

“Great, how about tomorrow?”

She was keen I thought, but I guess I would be as well in her shoes.

“OK, text me your hotel and flight details and I’ll pick you up at the airport.”

“Thanks, James, see you tomorrow.”

Alex and Areeya arrived back together and you know you can always tell when women have shared a secret. They have these little looks between each, ‘We know something you don’t.’ Either that, or men are paranoid around women. Anyway, I was sure Alex had told Areeya what had happened that morning. Not that I cared, I knew Alex kept nothing from Areeya and vice versa.

I had moved out to the balcony to lie down on a lounger. They came and sat next to each other on the one next to mine.

“How’s the boat, Areeya?”

“It’s going well, James. We drained and cleaned the tanks, replaced the batteries and checked all the wiring. There was damage to the superstructure from the AK47, but it's not too bad. My father has changed the fuel supplier and is suing the old one for the damages.”

“How is the wound, James?”

Before I could say anything, Alex butted in, “He had a little light exercise this morning which should have helped.”

Areeya grinned, and I knew for certain Alex had told her.

“Can I see the wound, James?”

I pulled up my t-shirt, and like Alex before her, Areeya ran her fingers along the track of the bullet and her touch on my skin was electrifying. Her fingers were feathery light and as she caressed my skin, I shivered from the touch.

I saw a wicked smile come over Alex’s face as she watched Areeya touching me, and she pulled Areeya onto her lap and kissed her full on the lips. Areeya kissed back and they made out right in front of me. I squirmed in my seat as Alex put her hand beneath Areeya’s t-shirt, pulled it up and cupped her breasts. Areeya broke the kiss and in one fluid move pulled her t-shirt up and over her head. She grabbed Alex’s head and pulled her face onto the left breast and I could see Alex’s tongue dart out and flick the nipple. I almost stopped breathing as the two of them made love right in front of my eyes.

Alex stopped sucking Areeya’s breast. "What are you waiting for? There’s another one of these you can use."

I didn’t need a second invitation, so I moved across and wrapped my lips around Areeya’s nipple. Areeya put her hand on her my head and I nipped her nipple with my teeth. I felt Alex's face next to mine as she continued to attack Areeya's other nipple. Alex broke off and turned her face and we kissed, tongues instantly duelling with each other. Areeya pulled my head away from Alex and she kissed me as Alex went back to kneading and sucking her breasts. I pulled back and tried to pull my t-shirt off but couldn’t get my arms above my head. Alex paused long enough to drag it up and over my head.

"Bedroom, now!" she ordered, and dragged Areeya and me though the door and to the bedroom. I'm not sure who was kissing who as we stumbled our way to the bed. Hands were everywhere as we collapsed on the bed. Someone was tugging at my shorts as I was trying to get Alex's blouse undone. She was kissing me and slipped her hands inside my shorts and released my cock which stood straight up. Areeya had slipped off her own shorts by now and she pushed me onto my back on the bed. Alex took my cock into her mouth and sucked it hard.

Areeya straddled me facing towards Alex and moved so her pussy was right over my mouth. I raised my head and licked along her slit. She was already wet and my tongue found its way between her lips to where her clit was waiting. Areeya was now moaning and pushing down on me as I teased her clit between my lips and sucked hard on it.

Alex was still sucking my cock, using her mouth almost like a vacuum cleaner. I felt her finger rubbing my rosebud and then she slipped a finger deep inside. The dual attack on my cock and hole was scrambling my wits. Areeya moved off me and ordered, "Fuck me, fuck me now." She got down on her hands and knees, Alex let go of my cock and pushed me behind Areeya. Sinking to my knees I lined my cock up with Areeya's pussy. She was so wet I slipped straight into her. I groaned as I drove into her and she pushed back against me. Areeya's head was at the edge of the bed and Alex moved in front of Areeya, slid down her knickers and pushed her cock into Areeya's mouth.

I was driving my cock hard into Areeya's pussy and she was now sucking hard on Alex. The sights and sounds in front of me were driving me to yet another level of ecstasy. Alex leaned forwards and we kissed over Areeya's back. I was so aroused that I knew I wouldn't last much longer.

Areeya started to buck and groan and I guessed she was ready to come. Alex pulled out of Areeya's mouth and used her hand on herself. I picked up the pace even more and exploded into Areeya's pussy, she tensed and then her release came as she yelled "Oh fuck, oh fuck…" Areeya flopped to the bed and as she did so Alex grunted and her cum splashed over Areeya’s face. Alex bent down and to lick my cum from Areeya’s pussy. Watching her tongue slide into Areeya’s slit made me hard all over again. Alex motioned me over, kissed me and I tasted my cum on her tongue.

The three of us lay there trying to catch our breath as we recovered our senses. In all my life I had not felt such intensity and animal passion. I had thought my nerve endings were on fire and speed racing through my veins.

Alex leaned over and kissed me first and then Areeya. We smiled at each other and then Alex giggled which set me off and suddenly we were all laughing. Eventually, we calmed down and Areeya went off to get cleaned up and Alex and I cuddled together on the bed.

"Did you enjoy that?" She asked.

"Are you serious?" I said, "that was about the most extreme thing I have ever done."

Alex laughed, "oh baby, you have a lot to learn, we've only just got started."

Chapter 9

Areeya came back into the room, gave me a kiss and sat down on the sofa with Alex and me.

“My father is flying in this afternoon, and will have dinner with us, then fly back tomorrow. He’s looking forward to meeting you, James.”

“Is there anything I should know about him before tonight?”

There was a little glance between the pair of them I almost didn’t catch. “You both share a taste for good whisky. We keep a bottle of GlenDronach for his use when he’s here.”

“What about his career?’

“My father was born here, but he left as soon as he could. He joined the Army and was promoted through the ranks. He spent a year seconded to the CIA and finished up as a Major in Military Intelligence. he met my mother while he was in the army when she had been a traditional Thai dancer. I was born a year after that. He was devoted to my mother, and it devastated him when she was killed in a car accident in Bangkok. My father had been a keen Muay Thai fighter and now owned a training gym and sponsored some kick boxers.”

I noticed Alex was very quiet as Areeya talked about her father, but thought nothing of it.

“I think he had built a network of contacts while he was in the army who helped him to build his business, once he left. He now has a property business,as well as electronics and some clubs and bars in Bangkok.” She smiled, “I think you’ve been to one?’

I laughed, but Alex was still quiet and seemed to be thinking of something else.

It was to be a relatively informal dinner, so she assured me that trousers and a shirt would be ideal. I had brought a respectable pair of trousers and a decent dress shirt with me so I felt I was good to go. It was obvious that Areeya was excited to be seeing her father but I couldn't fathom Alex’s mood. It was nothing I could put my finger on but she seemed to regard it with less enthusiasm than Areeya. Both of them had to get ready, and I knew that would take some time, so I had a quick shower and a shave, grabbed a beer and retreated to the balcony to watch the sunset and to listen to some Miles Davis.

Alex was the first to emerge onto the balcony. She had put her hair up in a formal style and wore a beautifully tailored linen sleeveless little black dress, with a simple string of pearls around her neck. Some expensive looking heels finished off the outfit. She looked so beautiful standing there in the fading light of the afternoon.

She saw me staring, "What?"

"You look stunning," I said, and for the first time I could think of, she blushed.

"Yes," she said, "I scrub up quite well, I guess. But this girl needs a drink. Can you be a love and get me a gin and tonic?" She still seemed a little ill at ease, and again I wondered why.

"One G&T coming right up."

As I came back out with the drink for Alex, Areeya appeared on the balcony. She literally stopped in my tracks when I saw her. She was wearing what I can only describe as a combination of traditional Thai dress and western haute couture. It was tailored to show off her wonderful figure yet also appeared demure at the same time. It had a long skirt with a sleeveless top, made of rich blue silk with red and gold accents and she wore gold jewellery on her wrist and around her neck.

Alex grinned, "OK James, you can close your mouth now and give me my drink, please."

I jumped as I realised I had been staring, "Sorry, but you both look ravishing tonight.'

"Nice save," said Alex. Areeya laughed and asked for a juice so I dashed off to the kitchen to get one.

Areeya used her mobile to call the restaurant staff who arrived with an ice bucket and a bottle of Champagne nestling in it, as well as a three quarters full bottle of whisky which I assumed was Kritsada's private stash of GlenDronach. One of the waitresses for the restaurant remained on the balcony to serve the drinks later on.

I felt distinctly underdressed compared to the girls, but they said what I was wearing was fine. Areeya's phone rang, "I guess that's him," and walked slowly down the stairs to collect her father. I saw Alex breathe out as if trying to release some tension and smoothed her hands down her dress in a nervous gesture. I couldn't work out why she was acting like this.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," she snapped and then said, "Sorry, sorry, I'm always a little tense before I see him. He underwrites our loan for this place so it's important that I keep him happy."

"Oh, OK, this is him, I think," as I heard the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

I had no idea of what I expected Kritsada to be like, but as he jumped up the stairs in front of Areeya, I could see that he was different from her. She was graceful and elegant and he was more like a ball of energy that radiated outwards to affect everyone. The comparison with Areeya was marked and I can only presume she took after her mother. He was tall for a Thai, his hair cropped short and from his bearing it was obvious that he had been in the military.

You could see he was used to being the centre of attention and this occasion was no exception. He strode across the balcony to me and shook my hand in one of those handshakes using both hands that always make me think someone is trying a bit too hard to impress

Areeya arrived at his side, "Father, may I introduce Khun James, and James, this is my father, Khun Kritsada."

He was pumping my hand vigorously and looking me straight in the eye. It sounds silly but there was definitely alpha male posturing going on here. I kept the eye contact, placed my hand over his and smiled.

" Sawasdee Khun Kritsada, it is an honour to meet the esteemed father of my friend."

He seemed happy that his little challenge had been met, and he smiled even more broadly. He clapped me on the shoulder, "James, please, it's Kritsada and I am delighted to meet you." His English was clear and precise as you would expect from an officer.

We all jumped a little as the waitress popped the Champagne cork and prepared to pour some into tall Champagne glasses.

"James, I understand from my daughter that you too are a whisky drinker, no?"

"Yes, that's true it is a weakness of mine, I'm afraid."

He laughed, "Never let it be said that drinking whisky is a weakness, my friend. It shows true character in a man. Let's leave the froth to the girls and have a proper drink."

Areeya nodded to the waitress who delivered two glasses of Champagne to the girls and then started to pour the whisky.

"Make sure, they are proper measures too. I have a brought a fresh bottle with me so we won't run out." He was used to command and was not shy about doing so.

He turned to Alex, "Alex, I am so sorry, I haven't said hello to you yet." He moved across to embrace her and I swear I saw an almost imperceptible flinch as he put his arms around her.

"That's OK, Kritsada. I am always delighted to see you, are you well?"

"Oh, yes, Alex, most definitely well, thank you. Now let's get this whisky, shall we?"

The waitress brought across a silver server with two large measures of whisky. Kritsada took both and handing one to me, sniffed his glass and sighed with pleasure.

"Ah, I can smell the peat that was in the water they used to make this. Heaven. Tell me what you think, James. Or do you want some ice or water or soda?" The waitress was hovering.

"Thank you, Kritsada, I take it neat I'm afraid."

He smiled ever more broadly and almost bellowed "Excellent, me too." He turned to the girls, "I like this fellow more and more."

I held the glass up to the light and it was beautifully clear and bright. I brought the glass to my nose and there was a lovely nutty scent in the aroma, light but with infinite depth. I took a sip and the first taste was as if I was sitting in a pub in the Highlands, with a wood fire roaring in the corner and a howling gale outside. The second taste made me think the flavour of wood smoke from a fire burning somewhere in the far distance.

Kritsada said, "well, what do you think?"

I turned to him, "Sir, this is the best whisky I have ever tasted. I envy the Angels their share of this."

Kritsada beamed as it’s always nice to be praised for your good taste.

"Well said, James, well said. It’s a 24-year-old GlenDornach Grandeur, aged in sherry casks. I love it."

We each took another sip, and it tasted even better than the first.

"Good, good," he was all smiles. "Now, girls let us drink a toast to our James, who was so brave in what he did on the Cockatoo." He raised his glass and the girls followed suit. "To James, thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving the life of my treasured daughter and Alex. I will always be in your debt."

He drank from his glass and the two girls followed. I felt I had to say something.

"Kritsada, I do appreciate your sentiment and I was glad to be a play a part in what happened but I don’t think it’s right to say that I saved their lives."

Kritsada laughed, "It’s true what they say about Englishmen, they are brave and modest."

I am sure that nobody says that about Englishmen, but I had to say what I felt.

"Kritsada, please forgive me for saying this but I don’t think I was brave, I was frightened for us all and it seemed there was only one thing I could do. It could have all gone horribly wrong. Alex and your daughter may have died because of what I did. Alex played as much a part as me by distracting the pirate and then firing the rifle to scare away the pirate boat, and if it had not been for you alerting the coastguard so quickly, it might not have worked out all." I ran out of steam but I had said what I had been thinking ever since the boat trip.

"Young man, I hope you don’t mind me calling you that, but I do have the edge on you in age and experience. You are right, everything may have gone horribly wrong as you said. But it did not, and, therefore, we are spared the concerns of what might have been. Many lesser men than you would have rolled the dice and decided that the odds would be better for themselves by doing nothing. You, on the other hand, decided to stake everything on action. You risked your life to protect that of my daughter and Alex. You did not think for your own safety, but only theirs. If you had not thought more of them than yourself, then you would have risked nothing and done nothing.”

He paused and took another sip of the whisky.

“The ability to think clearly and then act under extreme pressure is a talent that few men are privileged to have. I have been in the army and in my fair share of action, so I know what I’m talking about. I sense you may feel guilty for having taken such a risk and then thinking what might have happened if your action had not been successful. Let us imagine that the worst had happened and your attack failed, it would have not made you any less brave or any more responsible for what might have happened in any way whatsoever. As a direct result of the course of action you took, the worst was averted, and you all survived. What you did, James, was bravery of the highest calibre. You almost lost your life to preserve others. It was your courage that set in train what happened. Yes, I in a small way, and Alex here in a much bigger way played our parts, but it was your actions that made it possible. That’s why you must forget any doubts you have and I am grateful for what you did. I salute you, James."

Kritsada stood and raised his glass, Alex and Areeya both now in tears stood as well "To James."

"Sir, I thank you for those kind words. I will also be eternally grateful that we all came through it." His words had hit home with me and they had lifted a heavy weight from me.

"James, if there is ever any way I may be of service to you, please do not hesitate to ask."

He turned to Alex, "My dear Alex, I am afraid that I am going to have to drag you away from your friends and splendid business here for a few days. It seems that we have a few small, shall we say, issues, in Bangkok that require your specialist knowledge. I assure you it won’t take up more than, say, three days of your time. It does mean, however, that you will have to accompany me to Bangkok tomorrow on our plane and, of course, we will fly you back the same way, when our business is completed." Kritsada was smiling as he said this, but his voice let us know that there would be no argument about what should happen,

Alex looked down at the table and then looked anywhere else but at me, "Of course, Kritsada, I am always happy to help with your business issues.”

We sat and chatted on the balcony for a while longer. Kritsada was a good storyteller, and he had us roaring with laughter with stories of Areeya as a small girl. She apparently had been a little princess growing up, and it was obvious that he still doted on her. It was understandable that he would be different with Alex, but even with all the laughter I was sensing that there was an underlying tension in the relationship. It struck me quite suddenly that there may have something personal between them in the past, strange as that might seem but who knows what might have happened in Alex's days in Bangkok.

We eventually moved down to the restaurant where the dinner was even better, if that were possible, than on the first night I ate there with Alex. Here she was in her element as a hostess and it was clear this was her domain. She had real talent in running the restaurant. Every dish that arrived on our table was beautifully cooked and presented and the meal passed enjoyably. Kritsada poured the last of the whisky into my glass.

“I’m sorry, Kritsada for drinking all your GlenDronach.”

He laughed, “James, it was a fitting occasion for two people who enjoyed it so much to send it on its way.” He roared with laughter again. “Besides, I have brought another bottle with me. Now, please excuse me, I am an old man and it’s late and I need to be up early tomorrow. Alex, I will see you at the airport tomorrow morning.’”

Alex nodded, “I won't forget, Kritsada.”

Kritsada shook my hand. “It has been my pleasure to meet you, James. Thank you again for what you did that night. When you are next in Bangkok, let’s renew our acquaintance over some more whisky. I apologise for whisking Alex away, but she will be back here soon. Areeya, will you ride me with me to the hotel? We have family business to discuss.”

After they left, Alex and I sat for a while on the balcony, her head resting on my shoulder, a nightcap whisky for me and glass of wine for her. We watched the night sky for a while in silence, then I asked her why she seemed so on edge with Kritsada.

"Did it show?".

"Not to him, I think, but it seemed to me you were a little wary.'

Alex was silent for a while and then said, "He’s a powerful man, James. He can be extraordinarily charming as he was tonight but, between you and me, there is a hard street thug beneath the sophistication. You would not want to cross him. If you make an agreement with him you need to make sure you understand every tiny aspect of it because he will make you stick to it. He will do the same in return but he demands his pound of flesh for sure."

"Is that why you have to go to Bangkok with him?"

I felt her stiffen slightly, "Yes, he has some trouble with the clubs and bars from time to time and he uses me as his troubleshooter. It is part of the agreement we have for him to underwrite the loan for this place.”

It sounded reasonable to me, so why didn’t I quite believe it?

"Anyway," she said, standing up and pulling me to my feet, "we have to get to bed because I have to fly to Bangkok tomorrow and deliver my pound of flesh."

She kept hold of my hand and pulled me across to the bed. She dimmed the lights and told me to lie on the bed. She hitched up her dress and straddled my waist. Unbuttoning my shirt she leant forward to my nipples and as I put my hands out to touch her she said sharply, "No touching, either me or yourself until I give you permission, is that clear?"

I was surprised by this, and I have to confess I felt a little frisson of excitement as she spoke. I nodded, but she wasn’t happy with that.

"Is it clear, I asked. Tell me."

"Oh, yes, it’s clear, I understand."

"That’s better, and tonight my pet, I want you to call me Miss Alex, is that clear?"

"Er, OK, I mean, yes."

"Yes, what?" she said and grabbed my nipple and twisted.

"Oww, I squealed, "Yes, Miss Alex."

"That’s better, my little pet," she said. "Now, do you trust me James?"

I looked at her a little nervously, "Yes, yes I trust you."

"Oww, " that was a tweak on the other nipple. The penny finally dropped, "Oh, yes, Miss Alex."

"That’s right, my pet."

She leant over to the bedside table, opened the drawer and pulled out something which she kept hidden behind her back. "Don’t move," she ordered, slid off the bed and moved out of my sight. I felt her grab my wrists, pull them together and then a sudden click and I realised with a shock that she had handcuffed me. My wrists were now held together above my head as I lay on the bed. She must have fixed the cuffs to something because however hard I tried I could not pull my hands down. I tugged and tugged but they wouldn't move.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing, unlock these things."

Alex came back into my field of vision and she had taken her dress off, because she was now wearing a black bra, knickers and stockings attached to a suspender belt. I could hear the click clack of her heels on the bedroom floor. For the umpteenth time since I met Alex my mouth fell open as I stared at her and with its usual mind of its own, my cock started to respond.

"Come on, let me out of these things," I pleaded with her.

In response she leaned across and gave me another nipple tweak.

"You won't get anything unless you speak to me properly."

"OK, OK, Miss Alex will you let me out of these things?"

"Not until I’m good and ready."

She moved to the bottom of the bed quickly undid the belt and pulled down my trousers and left them down by my ankles. I was now completely immobile. The cuffs held my hands and ludicrously my trousers kept my ankles together.

She slipped off her heels and sat on the end of the bed facing me. She stretched out her legs until her feet were level with my cock. I barely see what she was doing as I could only raise my head so far off the bed. I twitched as I felt something touch my cock and I suddenly realised she had it held between her stockinged feet. She was sliding her feet up and down with my cock trapped in between them.

The feeling of the nylon stocking moving against my skin was like nothing I had felt before. I could only lie back and groan with the sheer erotic charge of it. After a few minutes of this exquisite stroking she slid off the bed and moved up to the bedside table. She took something out and I felt my head being lifted and then total darkness. She had pulled a blindfold over my face and now I was blind as well as tied up. I could her moving about on the floor and I tried to shift the blindfold but I couldn’t do anything about it.

I felt something brush my nipples, and I jumped, "Alex, cut it out, this isn’t funny."

She didn’t reply but now I felt something brush my cock and jumped again. This time though, my damned cock decided to betray me and started to get hard. Whatever it was felt soft and was made of strands of some kind of material. She continued to brush around my cock with it which of course responded and grew even harder.

"I see you do like that," said Alex.

My traitor of a cock did seem to like it and was now fully erect. I felt Alex’s hair brush my tummy, and she gently blew across the tip of my cock. It jumped, then I felt her take the head into her mouth to lick and suck around the head. Not being able to move this was something akin to exquisite torture as she flicked the head repeatedly with her tongue.

She let it drop from her lips and then there was a sharp sting across my belly.

"Oww, what was that for?" I squeaked.

"That’s no way to address me, is it?" She said sharply and there was another sting across my nipples this time.

"What?" I got another sting across my now tender nipples.

“Oh, I mean, no, Miss Alex."

It must have been some kind of whip and she now gave me a slap across my cock.

"Oww that hurt," I squealed. My traitorous cock though decided otherwise and now stood straight up.

"That hurt, Miss Alex, if you please. And if you’re wondering what this is, my pet, it’s a leather tasselled whip, one made especially for me with a unique handle."

I felt something pushing at my lips and I opened up in surprise and the thing slid into my mouth. It was cold and smelt of rubber but I suddenly recognised the shape of a cock. I gagged and Alex withdrew it a little before sliding it in and out of my mouth.

It tasted horrible and I felt sick.

"Murrrghh," was what I heard coming from my mouth and Alex pulled it out, "it’s OK but I’m sure it’s not as much fun as the real thing, my pet."

She had climbed on the bed to sit on my chest and then I jumped as the rubber phallus was replaced with her erect cock.

"Now that’s much better, isn’t it?" as she eased her cock in an out of my mouth. It was true the contrast between the hard, cold rubber and a real cock was a revelation. A real cock is warm and soft yet with hardness beneath the skin. I started to suck and use my tongue and was rewarded as Alex’s cock twitched and there was a moan from her. I felt Alex change her position once more, and as her mouth slid over my cock I felt her cock brush past my lips.

I took it into my mouth and we licked and sucked each other. I had almost forgotten about the cuffs but to be honest not being able to move and in the dark heightened my senses to an incredible degree. I felt the veins pulsing in her cock and every small movement was intensified in the darkness of the blindfold. I tried to match her moves with my cock on her own and every time she did something I tried to follow.

She let her lips slide over my cock one more time and then moved away again her cock plopped out of my mouth.

Alex whispered close to my ear, "Do you trust me, James?"

I nodded, unable to speak.

"Remember that, "she said and moved down to the bottom of the bed.

I felt her raise my ankles and pulled my trousers down and over my feet. She moved up the bed once more taking the head of my cock into her mouth. I was now desperate for some release.

My cock popped out of her mouth and she sat up on the bed. She pushed my legs apart, something cold was smeared over my hole and then suddenly her finger slipped inside. I squirmed but didn’t protest as she moved first one finger and then another around inside me.

She said, "Remember, trust me."

She moved her fingers out and then I felt something much harder at the entrance. I flinched as I realised what this was. Alex tried to push the dildo that she had used on my mouth into me and I instinctively resisted. "Relax, my pet," she cooed and pushed a little harder. I felt it begin to slide in and suddenly, with a searing pain it was past my ring and inside me. Alex moved it gently to and fro and the pain of it entering me slowly eased. She moved faster and then a bit deeper and I squirmed as it filled me up.

"Relax, relax," she said, which was easier said than done.

I felt it pop out of me and there was a sudden sensation of emptiness as it slid out. Immediately it came out I felt her move closer and she pushed my legs into the air and onto her shoulders. I guessed what was coming next and my whole body tensed.

"Just relax, baby, it's going to be OK." I heard her say and then her cock was pushing at my hole.

Oh my God, I thought, this is it. If I did this, then nothing else would ever be the same. There would be no turning back, no, it was only a joke.

"Push down, baby, push down," she said and then she pushed her cock forwards into my hole, and I pushed down.

This hurt more than the dildo as she pushed it but it felt a lot bigger. I heard her grunt and then she was in. It felt so much better than the dildo. It was warm and alive and slid much more smoothly. Alex slowly moved her hips and the pain gradually eased as she moved in and out.

She reached up and flipped off the blindfold and I looked down to see her smiling at me as she pushed forwards into me.

It only struck me at that moment.

I was being fucked.

Chapter 10

We woke early as Alex had to be at the airport to catch the flight with Kritsada at 7am. He was picking Alex up from the flat in his car as he headed off to the airport. I was going to the airport later as I had to collect Samantha from her flight for our planning meeting. Lying in bed and watching Alex got ready to leave, I didn’t think I could ever tire of watching her . She had a bag already packed so when the car arrived, she sat on the side of the bed and kissed me

"If you can’t be good, be careful," she said. I smiled as I remembered the guy who last told me that. It seemed like half a lifetime ago.

"Why are you smiling?" she asked.

"Nothing, someone said the same thing a while ago, and I ended up ignoring it completely."

"Don’t ignore it this time," she pouted, hit me on the arm, kissed me one more time and disappeared out of the door.

I have to admit I was sore from last night. Whatever they tell you, anal sex hurts the first time. Now, my backside and my wound were both aching. I got up and gingerly made my way to the shower.

It’s true, love hurts.

I stood under the hot water for a long time to revive me. Feeling somewhat better, I made breakfast and texted Areeya asking to find out where she was.

She was down at the boat again, supervising the last of the repairs and would take Cockatoo 3 out for a short shake down trip. Did I want to come with her? I reminded her I had to meet my colleague from Bangkok today but would Areeya be free to join us for dinner tonight? She would love to, so I booked a table downstairs.

It was time to head out to collect Samantha so I slung my laptop case over my shoulder, winced as I had forgotten about my side and braced myself for the taxi ride to the airport.

Samui's one runway airport is small and pretty with the arrivals and departures in typical Thai style buildings and open to the air on all sides. It's a far cry from the usual chrome and glass airports and a perfect way to begin or end a visit to Samui. The flight from Bangkok landed before 10am and so there I was, holding a hand written sign with Samantha's name.

The plane pulled onto the apron and the passengers piled into the little golf cart affairs that ferry the passengers from the plane to the terminal. As they all came through, I realised I wouldn't have much trouble spotting her amongst the returning locals and the shorts and flip flop wearing tourists. Sure enough there was only one potential candidate I could see.

Samantha was wearing a white dress with a red, single buttoned jacket, and carrying a laptop case and a handbag. She was slender and pretty in that English rose, girl next door kind of way. I regretted that I just had thrown on my jeans and the Koh Samui Blue t-shirt. I guess I had slipped into the island way of life too easily. She saw the sign and walked over having picked up her small bag.

"Hi Samantha, I'm James. Pleased to meet you."

"Hi James, likewise. By the way, it's Sam. Only my mum calls me Samantha these days when she’s annoyed with me."

"OK, Sam it is, welcome to Samui."

We piled into a taxi for the usual white knuckle ride to her hotel. I had decided that we would have our meeting there and had pre-booked a small conference room. As we swerved between cars and overloaded trucks and the ubiquitous small motor bikes carrying entire families, we had a chance to catch up.

"How are you doing?" She asked straight off. "You went through quite an adventure."

"I'm good, thanks, Sam. The doctors say another week and I'll be good to return."

"You shouldn't rush back too early, you know. Make sure you are fully recovered."

I smiled to myself as it sounded like Sam was keen for me to stay away for a while. I discovered she was a year younger than me and had joined the company recently.

“What's your background, Sam?”

“I did my degree at Exeter and then I did a gap year travelling over her in Asia. I was familiar with the area so I think it helped them decide to send me when you got, you know.”

“It's OK, Sam. I don't mind talking about it.”

She went red, “Sorry, I didn't know what to say.”

“No problem, Sam. Do you a family?”

“No-one that would keep from coming out here straight way, Something else that was in my favour.”

"I'm glad to have this opportunity to show what I can do." She must have remembered who she was talking to as her eyes widened and she put her hand up to her mouth, "Oh, I'm sorry, James, that must have sounded awful after what you went through and everything." Her face went a lovely shade of pink.

I laughed, "Don't worry, I would have felt exactly the same."

She was clearly ambitious but also charming. I liked her straight away.

Sam checked into her room and I waited in the lobby for her to unpack and return for our meeting. She came back having changed into a pair of shorts and a loose cotton blouse through which I could see a lacy bra. From a Duty Free bag she pulled out a bottle of whisky.

“I heard you liked good whisky. Just a little present to cheer you up.”

It was a bottle of Lagavulin 16 Year Old Islay whisky.

“Very nice, Sam. That's kind of you, but you didn't need to.”

I liked her even more.

Right from the start Sam seemed capable and had picked up the project and was obviously on top of things. Of course, I thought to myself, the project plan was pretty good in the first place, but she had a good grip of what was happening. However, as was to be expected, fresh issues had come up during the time I had been away, and we got stuck into those. It was good to work with someone as capable as Sam and we made quick progress on problem solving and coming up with some workable solutions.

We broke for lunch and then worked on, but by 4 pm, I felt myself flagging.

“Sam, can we call it a day? I’m a bit bushed. Can we resume tomorrow?”

She assumed, I think, I was tired from the injury, but in reality I was suffering from the effects of my sessions the previous day and night.

“Sure, no problem, James.”

“If it's OK with you, I've booked a table in Lamai at Koh Samui Blue tonight. I’ve also invited a friend of mine if that's alright?”

“No, that's great, James. The company is paying, so why not? Where are you staying now?”

“With the friends I was on the boat with.”

She tapped her forehead, “That's where I recognise Koh Samui Blue from. It was mentioned on the news reports.”

To be honest, the bar and restaurant had seen a sizeable increase in business after the incident, so I guess maybe there is no such thing as bad publicity after all.

We agreed to meet at 8 o’clock and I headed off back to the flat. I took the chance of a quick sleep and then went for a walk to stretch my legs. I went up to Cockatoo, but Pao wasn’t there so I said hello to the girls there, had a beer and headed back.

Areeya turned up at 7, happy with the repairs. She felt the old fuel supplier must have been selling bad fuel for a while, as the boat’s performance, now the engines had been cleaned and with good clean fuel, was so much better.

She showered and got herself ready. I was treated to a wonderful show as she moved around the flat naked as the day she was born. Frankly, I could have watched her all night. Precisely at 8, the bar rang to say Samantha had arrived, and I popped down to collect her. She had changed into a white linen dress with a lace vee shaped panel around the neck that gave occasional glimpses of her breasts. It didn’t look as if she was wearing a bra either. Out of her business attire, she looked even more attractive.

"Hi Sam, glad you made it, let's have a drink upstairs and then we’ll come back down to the restaurant."

"Upstairs?" she looked puzzled.

"Yes, this is where I’m staying."

"Oh," realisation dawning on her, "Oh, I get it now.'

I took her out of the bar and up the stairs to the balcony where Areeya was waiting. She had changed into a dark blue strapless mini dress that clung to her figure. Areeya said "Sawasdee ka," and made a wai to Samantha. Sam responded in kind and they smiled at each other. Now, I may be male and, therefore, considered not in any way sensitive to such things but I immediately felt that there was a spark between these two. As I introduced them to each other, they shook hands, and it seemed to me they held the shake a little longer than absolutely necessary.

Sam asked for a white wine spritzer and Areeya a vodka martini. Sam said, "Oh, can I change my mind? A martini sounds like a great idea." I went through to the kitchen to make the drinks and when I came back, they were both deep in conversation on the sofas.

Sam said, "Areeya was telling me about the business here. It seems to be a nice setup."

Areeya smiled and talked a little more about Koh Samui Blue and then she mentioned Cockatoo 2.

Sam’s eyes widened as she realised exactly what kind of bar it was. "Oh my, I have heard about ladyboy bars, but I’ve never been in one."

Areeya said, "I have to go there after dinner to check up on it, so I would be delighted to go down with you." Now, I don’t if that was a deliberate double entendre or not, but I spluttered on my Scotch and thumped my chest, "Sorry, whisky went down the wrong way."

Sam smiled she would love to, it sounded fascinating. Watching the two of them I could see the little glancing smiles they gave each other and the slight brush of fingertips on each other’s arm as they talked and laughed. The way their bodies opened up to each other as they chatted and how their leant their heads together as they shared a joke. I felt like a third wheel on a bicycle. Interesting, I thought, maybe someone will get lucky tonight, and I didn’t mean me.

We moved down to the restaurant and went to town on the food and drinks. It’s miraculous how an expense account changes your dining habits. The food as usual was superb, and the time passed quickly. Sam was funny about her gap year travels in Asia with one of her girlfriends and Areeya was equally funny about running Cockatoo 2. Areeya said she ran the bars and Alex, the restaurant.

Sam said, "Alex? Wasn’t she the other girl on the boat with you?"

"Yes, that’s right, she’s in Bangkok on business at the moment."

"And you all live here?" Sam asked.

"Yes, Areeya and Alex have been kind enough to let me stay here while I recuperate."

"Oh," Sam continued innocently, "Only I thought Areeya told me earlier there are two bedrooms in the flat."

It was Areeya’s turn to splutter on her drink and tried to signal me with her hands.

"Yes, well," I was babbling now, "well, I guess the truth is Alex and I are in a relationship, and so two bedrooms are enough."

Areeya sighed, smiled broadly, "I had told Sam that I was staying on the boat while you recuperated."

I looked at each of them and then burst out laughing, "Well played, Sam. You stitched me up there beautifully."

Both girls roared with laughter and we toasted to love and whatever.

Sam was silent for a moment and then said, "Wasn’t there a hint of mystery about Alex?"

"Mystery? Why?"

"Well, when the story broke in the UK, I had a call from a journalist trying to track down your and Alex’s backgrounds. It was that he couldn’t seem to find any trace of a female student called Alex. It seemed there was only.a male student called Alex in that year."

This wasn’t good news, and I needed to change the subject. "Bloody press," I said. "They can’t get anything right. I wish they would leave it all alone. I’m sorry, but if you don’t mind, I am feeling a bit tired. I’ll leave you two to it. Sam, shall we say 10 tomorrow at your hotel?"

Sam said, "Yes, that’s fine, See you then and I hope you feel rested."

Areeya said, "I’ll make sure Sam is looked after tonight, so good night James." I saw the glance Areeya gave Sam when she spoke and I knew the inference was deliberate this time, and so did Sam.

As I left I heard Sam say, "So, Areeya, are you going to show me your Cockatoo?"

I was tired and after a final nightcap on the balcony I took myself off to bed. It didn’t take long for me to drift off into a sound sleep. It was sometime later that I woke and felt the need to go to the toilet. I had forgotten to close the blinds but there was enough moonlight tonight for me not to bother with the lights. I yawned and made my way to the toilet and relieved myself. It was on the way back I heard laughter coming from Areeya’s room. I could make out Areeya’s laugh and also a separate deeper chuckle. I could see a thin strip of light where the door to Areeya’s room hadn’t been closed properly.

The laughter came again, and I grinned as I realised it was Areeya and Sam. Go girls, I thought. I was about to go back to bed when that malicious little imp in my mind said, ‘Go on, have a quick look, it won’t do any harm. I tried to shake it off, but now the thought was in my mind and it wouldn’t go away. Tiptoeing up to the door I could see there was a small gap between the door and the frame, but I was about to turn around when the laughter turned to moaning. That got me and I nervously peeked through the gap. The lights in the room were dimmed, but there was enough to see what was going on.

Areeya was on her back on the bed with her head on some pillows, and Sam was sitting on her face. Sam had her hands out on the wall to brace herself as Areeya was using her tongue to lick Sam’s pussy.

I knew what I was doing was wrong, but I could not drag my eyes away from what was happening in front of me. Sam was driving her pussy onto Areeya's face and moaning and throwing her head back. Her breasts were larger than I had thought and the nipples were huge even in this light. I could see Areeya was now using her hands as well as her tongue on Sam's pussy and my ever misbehaving cock started to react as I spied on the two girls.

Sam climbed off and lay down on Areeya kiss and lick her nipples. I saw Sam use her teeth on Areeya’s right nipple to pull and stretch it, whilst with her left hand she pinched the other nipple and Areeya arched her back and moaned in pleasure. This went on for a while and Areeya was getting more and more aroused. Sam moved around into a 69 with Sam on top and I could see Areeya's hands pulling Sam's pussy onto her face. Both girls were going hard at each other and the sweat was glistening on their bodies in the dim light.

Sam stopped, turned round and said something to Areeya. They rearranged themselves on the bed, scissored their legs and Sam ground her pussy against Areeya’s thigh. Sam was now humping Areeya, and she was getting more and more aroused as this went on.

Areeya stopped and got off the bed. She moved out of my sight but I could still see Sam lying on the bed rubbing her pussy with her fingers. Areeya was still out of my sight when Sam looked up at her and a big smile spread across her face. At that moment Areeya came back into sight and I could see she was wearing an enormous strap on cock. She stood in front of Sam who licked her lips before kissing and licking the tip. Areeya looked down, flexed her hips and pushed the cock right into Sam's mouth.

Areeya pulled out of Sam’s mouth and moved up onto the bed. Sam rolled over and went down on her hands and knees. Areeya moved up behind Sam and teased her pussy first with her tongue and then with her fingers. Sam was moaning as slid the straon up and down her slit, but Sam was already moving her hips backwards, seemingly desperate now to have the cock inside her.

Finally, Areeya lined up and slipped the tip of the cock into Sam's waiting pussy. She teased Sam some more, easing it in and then drawing back out. She did this a few times and then drove the cock hard into Sam who shrieked loudly this time. Areeya threw a nervous glance towards the door and I stepped back to avoid being seen.

I don’t think she had noticed anything, and I edged forward again to the door. Areeya was now fucking Sam hard who was and pushing back hard on the cock every time Areeya thrust forward. Sam was writhing and moaning now and I thought she wasn't going to last long, but Areeya withdrew and pushed Sam onto her side, hooking Sam’s right leg up in the air. Areeya lay down and slid the cock into Sam from the side. Fucking and kissing her at the same time. Sam was rubbing her clit with her fingers and it was clear she was on the edge of coming, Areeya increased the rhythm even more until Sam tensed, arched her back and groaned as her orgasm shook her body.

It was at this precise moment that Areeya looked up, stared straight into my eyes and winked.

Chapter 11

I staggered back in shock. Areeya must have seen me when she glanced at the door. Either that or she was a witch. I banged my knee as I stumbled backwards and it was a miracle I didn’t scream.

I made it back to bed and slept fitfully for the rest of the night. In one dream I was running down the strip in Lamai with Areeya chasing me wearing a huge strap on. You didn’t need to be Sigmund Freud to understand what that was about.

Areeya’s door was firmly closed when I woke and no sign of Sam. I hoped she had gone back to the hotel because otherwise it might be one of those difficult conversations over breakfast.

After grabbing a coffee I left to meet Sam at her hotel, and I arrived to find her in the lobby looking cool and fresh. Impressive, I thought, considering what I knew had gone on last night.

“What did you think of Cockatoo, Sam?”

She grinned, “I loved it, James. It was great fun and the girls were lovely to me. I met Pao and she couldn't stop talking about you. She seems very fond of you.”

Sam arched her eyebrows and looked innocently at me, and I blushed.

We ordered coffee and sat down in the meeting room but before we started Sam said, "Look James, it’s none of my business what you do with your private life. God knows I’m not in any position to lecture people on how they should live their lives, but here’s a heads up for you. Your friend Alex has been rumbled. When the press get hold of a story they don’t let go of it. I told you that a journalist from a local paper where you went to Uni spoke to me about you, and they mentioned Alex. I didn’t want to say in front of Areeya last night, but this guy also said they had found out the Alex over here was the Alex from your old university. They also know you shared a house together at Uni. I don't know how they found out, but he was convinced there was a funny story - his words not mine - in this.”

She paused but I didn’t say anything and she pressed on, "He said the story got spiked because a bigger story came up, a local councillor got caught banging a scoutmaster or something. He did say though that they would come back to it once they had more facts."

She stopped, and I still kept quiet.

"I am sorry, but I thought you should know. You are a decent guy and after what you went through, it’s not fair that some shit stirring journalist should be able to rake up dirt and turn a wonderful story into some sleazy little farce. I wasn’t going to say anything until I found out you and he, she I mean, are together.”

"Thanks for the heads up, Sam. I appreciate it, and at least forewarned is forearmed. Did you say anything to Areeya?"

"No, nothing, that’s not my place, and I definitely don’t understand the dynamic you guys have going on over here."

Me neither, I thought.

"Sam, can I ask you to keep this to yourself?"

"Sure," she said, "but I don’t know if anyone else at the firm knows. The journalist only called me because I was the one coming out here, and I’m going to keep schtum."

"Thanks, I owe you one."

"No you don’t, in a way you’ve already done me a big favour."

I decided to let that one float away.

We worked on until lunch and then decided that was as much as we could achieve for now.

Sam would have to go back to Bangkok and make the changes we had agreed, and then we would see what else needed to be done. She changed to an earlier flight and I went with her to the airport.

“Sam, thanks, I really enjoyed working with you. I think we made a good team.”

‘Me too, James, it was a pleasure, and thanks for dinner last night, I had a blast.”

“So you enjoyed yourself last night?”

She paused for a moment, looked as if she was going to say something, but then changed her mind. But her cheeks had gone a lovely shade of pink.

“I had a great time, and I enjoyed meeting Areeya. I’m planning to come back for a longer stay as a vacation. Areeya said she would take me out on the boat.”

Somehow I kept a straight face.

We cheek kissed goodbye and then she was off to her plane. I took a taxi back to the flat realising that I hadn’t heard from Alex since she left and I sent her a text asking how things were going in Bangkok. I was a loose end and as Areeya was out at Cockatoo, I thought I would wander down there have a drink or two, have something to eat at one of the better places Areeya had told me about, and come back for some time on the laptop.

Cockatoo was heaving when I got there, the bar girls were all busy and there was no sign of Pao. I saw Areeya for a few minutes but she seemed tied uo, so I sat on a bar stool with a cold Leo beer and watched the world go by.

It gave me some time to think about what Sam had said about Alex. I was angry that some little scumbag was out there trying to dig up scandal on Alex. She had deliberately set out to keep her new life private and to have that violated made me angry. But had Alex known it would all catch up with her one day. What was that tattoo she had on her ankle? ‘There is no secret that will not be revealed.’

I decided it wouldn’t do any good to tell her now but leave it until she returned from Bangkok.

If it did come out, how would it affect me? Alex was at least out here where there was a more tolerant attitude to gender and, I was sure, wouldn’t be a problem. It forced me think again about what I wanted to do, the project would only last at best another 4 or 5 months, and then what? Did I want to go back to England? Right now that was the last place I wanted to go. I had no ties there, and then there was Alex.

I was in love with Alex, of that I had little doubt. I had always thought of being in love as a form of madness; scrambling your senses and making you do wild things whilst letting you believe you are doing them of your free will. It twists reality out of shape and skews your judgement. I shoved all these thoughts to the back of my mind, I had plenty of time to decide.

I strolled along the strip, politely resisting the bar girls, restaurant hustlers and the massage parlour girls. Although I was tempted to have a massage, I decided to eat first. I had a quick meal, headed back to Cockatoo, which was still jumping, for another beer and then walked slowly home. I was about to walk up the flat when my phone beeped with a text from Alex.

’hope u wont be lonely tonite. left u gift on bed. tmb if u lyk it XOXO'

‘Thx will do’ I texted back.

I was intrigued but remembering her last present for me was a pair of Thai boxing shorts, I was expecting a joke of some kind. I went up the stairs to the flat ready to text something sarcastic back, walked through the door and stopped dead.

Lying on the bed and wearing only a huge smile and a large pink bow on her cock was Pao.

"Sawasdee ka Khun James. Miss Alex say I your present. I have to look after you tonight. Give you massage with happy ending."

I was so surprised that I burst out laughing and I saw Pao's face drop.

"You no like me, Mister James?"

"No, no, Pao, I like you a lot. You are lovely. I am not laughing at you. It's Miss Alex I am laughing at."

I sat down on the bed and Pao immediately put her arms around me. "I give you extra special massage tonight."

I laughed again, "Pao, OK, I Need to text Miss Alex and we can start." Pao went to pull my t-shirt off, but I stopped her for a minute to text Alex.

'lmao. Luv yr gift. bow sxci. thx. ilu.’

She must have been waiting, ‘ur v welcome. enjoy'

I put the phone on the bedside table and Pao got back to undressing me. She was behind me on the bed and pulled my t-shirt over my head. I felt her breasts pressing against my back as she ran her hands over my chest and tweaked my nipples which made my cock stiffen. She nibbled my ear, "I make you feel good tonight, Mister James." She jumped off the bed and undid my jeans.

I thought she was lovely, with a girlish face, slim body, beautiful breasts and a small but nice cock bobbing around in front of me. With my help she got my jeans down and the boxers went with them. Pao looked down at my cock which was now pointing straight up and giggled, "Miss Alex say you have nice cock, I like too."

God, was Alex even capable of being discreet? Probably not on the evidence so far.

Pao pulled me up and led me across to a massage mat which she had already rolled out on the floor. Pao spread a sheet over the mat and indicated I should lie face down. I had enjoyed several Thai massages when in Bangkok and they were wonderful. I never had the courage to go for an oil massage and the legendary happy ending, but I thought that was about to change tonight. Pao knelt beside me and I could hear her open a bottle and spread oil on her hands.

She kneeled with her legs astride my bum with her cock sliding in and out of my crack as she massaged my back in long slow movements. A good Thai massage is a gift from God and Pao was a skilful masseuse. Slowly and rhythmically she continued to massage me with her surprisingly strong hands. I was beginning to feel chilled as she continued to work on me with her magic fingers. I felt Pao move slightly, and I realised that there was something different about her massage, then I realised she was using her feet on my back; if anything that felt even better than her hands.

She leaned forwards to lie flat out on my back, her breasts pushing against my back and her cock rubbing up and down my crack. She moved rhythmically up and down my back and the oil made her slide increasing my excitement. Her nipples were hard, and I felt them slipping over my back and her cock was growing and sliding closer to my hole.

Her hands slipped up my thighs and into the crack of my bum. I felt her fingers rubbing on the area between my hole and my ball sack and my cock grew in response. “You like, James?”

I moaned and she giggled, “Not like first time in Cockatoo, Mister James.”

“I won’t run away this time, Pao.”

“Turn on your back, please.”

I rolled over only to find my cock now waving in the air; Pao giggled and gave it a quick kiss. Her lips felt heavenly on the tip but she changed position once more to massage my legs. Oh my God, this was so sensual, I wondered why I had waited so long to get one of these massages. She would move up to my groin and circle around my cock occasionally bumping into it and keeping me in a permanent state of arousal. She moved up to massage my chest and once again she would stroke down to my groin and brush it with her arm. This was torture and I wanted her to finish the job.

She sensed I was at boiling point. "You want happy finish now?"

"Oh God, yes, Pao."

She moved onto my cock, sliding her hands up and down its length. The touch of her hands and the oil felt like silk on my cock. She would bring me to the edge and then ease off to let me cool down again. She seemed to sense exactly the moment when I would be about to explode and then bring me back again.

"I can’t last much longer Pao."

"You want fuck me?"

"Yes, I want to fuck you now. Pao.'

She produced lube and smeared it on us both, lay down on her back, shoved a pillow under her bum and pulled her legs into the air with her arms, exposing her beautiful hole. The sight of her little pink rosebud opening up like this was so arousing I all but came on the spot. I stroked her with a finger around her opening and she moaned a little so I slid one finger inside and moved it in and out. She was jerking her hips back and moaning as I pushed my finger right into her.

I stroked her cock with my other hand and felt it grow and lengthen in my hand, a beautiful feeling. I pulled out my finger, moved up closer to her on my knees as she lifted her legs up onto my shoulders. Bringing the tip of my cock to her rosebud, I slid into her and pulled back before pushing in once more. Pao pushed back and her muscle opened enough to let me slide straight in. She moaned again, and I shoved harder and faster until I was in all the way, my balls slapping against her cheeks.

She was pushing hard back onto me, and I felt her tighten around my cock which was getting harder with every thrust. I reached out and nipped one of her nipples with my fingers and she squealed this time. I looked down to watch my cock sliding in and out of her, both of us grunting as her hips thumped into mine. She was using her hand on her cock which was now beautifully erect. I could see by her face she was close to coming, so I picked up my pace, driving my cock into her, making her buck and thrash as we fucked. She grunted once, her back arched up from the mat and she came in two or three spurts all over her belly, her cum mixing with the oil from the massage.

I was now desperate to come and felt that wonderful warmth growing in my groin and I jerked twice, pushed myself all the way into her and came deep inside. I felt spasm after spasm flood through me and I kept driving into her for a few more thrusts until, fully drained I collapsed on top of her. She grinned and kissed me on the lips, sweat mixed with oil making our lips slick and slippery.

I pulled out, rolled over and lay back panting after the exertion.

"You enjoy, Mister James?" asked Pao, in a worried voice.

"Oh yes, Pao, I enjoy much thank you.'

"You tell Miss Alex, I treat you well?"

I sat up and kissed her, "Yes, Pao. I will tell Miss Alex you are the best."

She beamed and stood up, "Come, we shower now."

This was the gift that kept on giving, for sure.

Pao and I showered, soaping each other clean; it was wonderful to have her wash my cock so gently and she giggled as I started to get hard once more, "Oh you ready again, Mister James?"

She moved close in front of me, her cock and mine now nestling alongside each other. She wrapped her hand around both cocks sliding up and down them. The sight and feeling of her cock up against mine was so erotic I was hard again in a heartbeat. Pao giggled again, "We go on bed this time?"

We dried each other and Pao led me by the hand back to the bed. I sat there watching her clear up the massage mat, thinking again how pretty she was.

My phone beeped. It was Alex. ‘did u enjoy gift?"’

‘no not nice at all’

She came back instantly, ‘liar look in corner of room and wave. I can c u.’

I spun round and there up on the wall near the ceiling was a small blinking red light. It was obviously a camera and I guessed she had been watching the whole thing.

‘pervert.’ I texted.

‘me? wat about u?’

‘LOL’ I texted back.

‘now take Pao to bed, I want 2 watch sum more.’

Finding my boxers I draped them over the lens.

My phone beeped again, ‘spoilsport’

I set the phone to silent and turned round to see Pao waiting for me on the bed.

As soon as I got to the bed Pao grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to her. She was giggling as we rolled around before she got on top of me and started to kiss and suck my nipples. This gets me going every time, so it wasn't long before my cock hardened again. Pao rolled over on her side and moved down so she could take me in her mouth. If there was ever to be a Nobel Prize for cocksucking then I would nominate Pao, the way she used her mouth on me was mind blowing. She used her tongue, lips, mouth, hands and even teeth to unbelievable effect. The sheer speed and energy with which she did this was getting me harder and harder.

She knew I was getting close, so she let me slip out of her mouth, "You want suck me?"

I nodded, and she scooted up the bed to place pillows under my head and then straddled my chest. Whilst I thought it was small earlier, now it was erect and pointing at me a few inches from my face, it looked plenty big enough. She cheek slapped me with it, then rolled it over my face before putting it to my lips. I kissed the tip which made Pao giggle, then sucked it into my mouth. It felt different from Alex's cock, smaller and with a different taste. Using the the flat of my tongue I licked the underside of the head and Pao responded with "I like."

I did this a few times and then sucked the whole head into my mouth and kept my tongue working on the underside. Pao’s cock was growing harder so I must have been doing something right. I put my hand on the bottom of her shaft and moved it up and down. She squirmed, then pushed her whole cock into my mouth. Her hands came down and held me in place as she moved her hips, forcing her cock in and out. I gagged and Pao withdrew and reversed her position on the bed into a 69. Her cock was above me and poking into my lips, so I opened my mouth and took her inside again.

Her warm mouth enveloped my cock, drawing me deep into her mouth and then out again. I tried my best, but I was a novice at this and I was being sucked by a ninja cocksucker. My climax was getting closer as that lovely feeling built inside my balls and then I shouted, "I'm coming, I'm coming." Pao rolled off me and lay on her back as I got to my knees and she used her hands to finish me and I spurted all over her breasts.

Using her tongue to clean up whatever cum was still oozing out of me, she grinned, "Miss Alex right, she say you taste good."

Was there nothing Alex wouldn't share?

Pao's cock was still erect, and I couldn't resist the temptation to reach down and stroke it. She moaned once or twice so I kept going and within a few strokes she twitched her hips, "I coming.”

Her cum arced from her cock and landed on her belly but some stuck to my fingers. Pao grabbed my fingers and licked and sucked the cum from them. She sank back on the bed, her smile as wide as her face. "Thank you, Mister James’'

"Pao, please call me James, I think we've been properly introduced now."

She looked puzzled at what I said, but got the gist of it, "OK, James.”

We both collapsed on the bed, but Pao wasn't finished yet and dragged me off to the shower to clean up for the second time that night. We could both fit under the overhead shower and it was bliss to stand under there with her, washing each other and giggling as we cleaned each other's cock and balls. Pulling her close I kissed her with the water pouring down over us and she surprised me by slipping a little soapy finger into my hole. I squirmed and she pulled out, "You no like?" she asked.

"Yes, I like it Pao, but I'm sore there so not tonight."

"Ah, OK, next time then, maybe?"

The prospect of a next time with Pao was something to dream about. We dried each other off, which involved more mutual fondling and giggling, and went back to the bed.

"You want me to go now?" Pao asked. "Miss Alex say OK to stay if you want."

"I would love you to stay, Pao."

She giggled again and gave me a kiss, then dragged me over to the bed and pulled me down.

"You want sleep now, James?"

"Yes, please, Pao."

We kissed and she cuddled up to my back, threw her arm across my hip and was asleep in seconds. I lay there for a while, listening to her gentle breathing and feeling the warmth of her body against mine, until I dozed off.

My ear being nuzzled and kissed from behind as I woke up. Mmm, that’s a nice way to wake up, I thought. I felt a hand slide over my waist to rub my cock. Even better, I thought. I remembered that Pao had stayed the night and rolled over to see Areeya’s face smiling back at me.

Chapter 12

If it were possible to jump two steps back when you're lying down, that's what I did.

"My God, where did you come from?" I looked around, “Where’s Pao?"

"I came in after you had gone to sleep and told Pao that I would take over from her. Is that a bad thing? I can call Pao to come back if you would prefer." Areeya had a big grin on her face. I rolled over to face her and grinned back, "Well, both of you together would be nice, but I couldn’t impose on Pao again."

"It would be no imposition for Pao, believe me. She has, how you say, the hots for you, James. Let’s save that for another time."

I smiled, kissed her on the lips and wrapped my arm around her and she snuggled up, her head lying on my shoulder. I stroked her hair and her fingers gently rubbed my chest and played with my nipples.

I asked her, "How did you get on with Sam?"

She turned and looked up at me, "Sam is great, I like her much," she giggled, "but I think you know that don’t you?"

"She likes you too, Areeya."

"Life is complicated, James. Or it’s simple and we make it complicated."

"True, Areeya, but sometimes we have no choice, it's what happens."

She looked up at me again, "James, what will you decide?" I knew what she was asking, and I had no good answer.

"I wish I knew, Areeya, I wish I knew."

"Choose wisely, James, much depends on your decision."

No pressure there then.

She took my hand and placed it between her legs and opened them and she was already wet. She laid one of her hands over mine, caressing her pussy with my hand. With the other hand she reached over and stroked my cock. We kissed and our bodies responded to the gentle touch of each other’s hands. Areeya removed her hand from mine and I continued to stroke her pussy. She shifted position, so I was on my side and she was on her back.

She raised her leg over mine which gave me access to her from the side. My cock was hard, even with her gentle stimulation, and I slid into her with ease. I moved slowly in and out and she turned her head to kiss me. I could also touch her breasts in this position and we made love slowly and blissfully.

Areeya began to breathe heavily and I thought she was getting close to her climax, so I thrust harder until without warning we came together, her orgasm shaking her body and mine flooding cum into her. Still connected to her I felt her orgasm as it came in waves, each one getting a little less intense than the last. I had stayed hard, moving in and out of her until I felt I had emptied myself.

We held each other for a long time, not speaking, kissing and caressing each other. I could have spent all day doing that, but Areeya had work to do in the restaurant as well as the bars, because of Alex’s absence in Bangkok. I had a hospital appointment later in the morning so I had to get moving too.

I headed off to the bathroom planning to have a shave and then a shower. I was shaving in front of the wash basin when the door opened and Areeya walked in wearing her robe. I was still naked but had long lost any embarrassment in front of Areeya. She asked if she could use the shower first and I said sure, go ahead. I watched in the mirror above the wash basin as she dropped the robe to the floor and walked into the shower. It seemed I was condemned to spy on Areeya in some form or another.

I could see her through the glass wall of the shower as she turned on the taps and stepped under the water. The sight of her with the water cascading down over her head and down her body was mesmerising. I tried hard to concentrate on shaving but my eyes were constantly being drawn back to the sight in the mirror. The water and the light made her dark skin glisten as she moved around under the shower.

She picked up a washcloth and shook some gel into her hands to wash herself. I almost dropped the razor as she worked her cloth up from her belly up and over her breasts. Her hands dropped down to her groin, and I nearly cut my nose off as she washed her pussy. She bent over to wash her bum and I almost passed out as I watched her. My cock was having a field day, and it was sticking out like a flagpole at the moment Areeya walked past. She pointed to it, "Please be careful, James, we don’t want to cut that off through not paying attention, do we?"

Areeya eventually disappeared downstairs, and I headed off to the hospital. The doctors were happy with my progress, the wound was healing well and I could at last leave the dressings off. They wanted me to come back once more to check, but it was good to get the all clear from them.

This, of course, meant that I was cleared to fly and there would be no more excuses about not heading back to Bangkok. Alex was due back tomorrow, and I had some big decisions to make. I needed time on my own to think so I headed up to the Hin Lad waterfall. It’s not the biggest waterfall in the world but it is at the end of a two kilometre hike so it’s not that crowded. The exercise did me good as did the fresh air, and I spent some time at the pool at the bottom of the waterfall, sitting and thinking with the sound of the falls as a backdrop. It was the perfect place to clear the mind and do some serious thinking. It’s a real shame that I left as confused as I had been when I arrived.

I ended up back at the flat in the early evening, did my emails and then headed out to Cockatoo for a drink and then something to eat. Alex was due back in the morning and I still didn’t know what I was going to say to her. Cockatoo was quiet when I arrived and the girls were out front en masse trying to entice some customers inside. Pao was there and came over and sat with me for a while. She giggled when I told her how surprised I was when I woke up and thought Areeya was her. I told her how much I had enjoyed last night and her face lit up.

I decided to head back to the restaurant for dinner as I was still on expenses. I didn’t relish eating by myself but Areeya was still busy running all the businesses whilst Alex was away. After a couple more beers I walked back and sat out on the deck eating and watching the sea in the darkness. I had finished dinner when, from behind, a pair of hands covered my eyes and I heard a voice whisper in my ear, "Hey big boy, you wanna go short time wit me?"

I whirled round and there was Alex, grinning from ear to ear. I jumped up and grabbed her for a big hug.

"I’m so glad to see you." I said, "but you’re not supposed to be here, I mean you’re not due till tomorrow."

"Oh well in that case, I’ll come back tomorrow." She turned as if to leave and I tugged her back, sat down and pulled her onto my lap. "Or I’ll stay then, shall I? Did you miss me?"

"Of course, I did."

"Mmm, from what I saw and heard last night you didn’t miss me so much."

"I should say right now thank you for my present, it was thoughtful."

"You’re welcome," she said. "I hear the swing shift did OK this morning too."

God, did these girls have to share everything?

She pouted, "Don’t I even get a kiss?"

"I can do better than that." I stood up with her arms still around my neck and I carried her across the restaurant and up the stairs. She was squealing and laughing in my arms all the way to the top of the stairs.

She said, "Someone’s feeling a lot better, I see," and kissed me hard on the lips.

I keyed in the number for the door without dropping her and walked across to the bed with Alex still locked to my lips. We fell onto the bed in a heap and we were kissing with our hands all over each other. Alex unzipped my jeans and dived onto my cock which was already hard . She moved so I could get my hands under her dress and pulled her knickers down. She rolled over on top of me so I could get her cock in my mouth. She was already hard and thrust her cock deep into my throat. Alex was pumping her head up and down on my cock so fast and deep I was as hard as a rock.

She pulled her cock out of my mouth and shouted," I want you in me, now."

She reached for the lube from the bedside table and got up to my knees and she smeared it over my cock and her hole. I undid my belt and dropped my jeans to my knees as Alex went down on her hands and knees in front of me and pulled her dress up over her hips. She reached back and pulled her cheeks apart to reveal her waiting rosebud. I grabbed the lube, smeared some on my fingers and teased her by rubbing my fingers over and around her hole. Her head had dropped to the pillow which thrust her bum even higher in the air. I circled her rosebud with my fingers and then slid one and then two fingers inside. Moving my fingers in and out made her growl in her throat and she yelled, "Fuck me now. I need your cock now."

Pulling out my fingers, I edged my rigid cock to her hole and rubbed it with the head of my cock. She twitched and implored me, "Now, for God’s sake, fuck me now you bastard."

I pushed at her and the head slipped in and then I pulled out before moving it back in again.

"You fucking bastard," she screamed, "Put it all in me now."

This time I drove my cock straight into her and she grunted as she felt the shaft penetrate her. She pushed back on me and I drove my cock deeper and deeper into her. She was moaning loudly now as I thrust myself in and felt my balls slapping against her backside. This was not like the gentle loving sex I had with Areeya this morning, this was raw, animalistic coupling driven by pure lust. I was fucking her as hard as I could and we were both grunting as we rutted on the bed.

Sweat was pouring from both of us and that made it seem even more feral. She reached back beneath her with a hand and squeezed my balls as I pumped into her. My cock felt enormous in her tight hole and it pushed me to pound her even harder. Her body was rocking as I thumped into her. I felt her tense and she gasped, "I’m coming."

Her cock twitched and her cum shot onto the bed. This made me push even harder into her and she responded by driving back into me. My climax exploded from my groin and into my cock and suddenly I was pumping my cum into her. I came and came, more than I could ever believe was possible. My legs gave way and we collapsed onto the bed with me still inside her.

Alex leant towards me, kissed me and whispered, "So, maybe you did miss me a teeny bit. I think you’ve been learning a few new tricks too, you rat."

I pulled out of her with a soft plop, and she grinned wickedly at me, "Tell me when you’re ready to go again, big boy."

Chapter 13

Alex jumped off the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. I must have dropped off to sleep as I woke some time later, to find I was spooning up to Alex. She was having what sounded like a bad dream as she was almost shouting in an angry tone, "No, no more, I don’t want to do it anymore. Please don’t make me do it anymore, no more." I gently stroked her back, and she settled down, but then whimpered, "It’s not fair anymore, it’s not fair, you shouldn’t make me do it, everything is different."

I stroked her back again and wondered about waking her, but then she settled down again and seemed to slip back into a deep sleep once more. I wondered what had upset her so much, but who knows with dreams?

I must have dropped off again because it was morning when I awoke. Alex was propped up on one elbow looking at me. She was staring at me and I said, "What?"

"Nothing," she said, "except you are so beautiful when you are sleeping. I love watching you. You looked so calm and peaceful. You look as if you were in a happy place."

"Right here and now with you is my happy place."

She gently hit my arm, "You soppy old romantic," but I could see she was pleased.

"I see you’ve taken off the dressings." She said.

"Yes, the doctor was pleased with the progress and as long as I’m careful it should be OK." I replied, guessing what was coming next.

"Does that mean you’re cleared to fly?"

"Yes, it does.'

"What are you going to do?" she asked, as she twisted her lower lip between her teeth.

"Honestly, I don’t know, I have to go back to Bangkok. That’s for sure, but I don’t know when yet."

She turned away from me, put her hand up to her eyes, slid out of bed and walked over to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

I got out of bed too, went to the toilet and when I came out, the bathroom door was still closed. I tapped on the door, "Alex, are you OK? Will you come out please?"

She eventually opened the door and I could see her eyes were red from crying. I reached out for her hand and held it without speaking. Was there some way I could signal to her how I felt about her.

I said something I never dreamt I would say, "Alex," I felt shy saying it, and looked away, "Would you please fuck me?"

She put a finger beneath my chin and moved my face up to make me look at her.

"Oh, baby, if that’s what you want, there is nothing more I want right now than to fuck you silly." She smiled sweetly at me, "Are you sure?"

I nodded, my heart beating like a piledriver. Alex took my face in her hands, pushed my head back and licked it with long upward strokes of her tongue like a cat. She nipped my earlobe between her teeth; an exquisite pain. Taking a nipple into her mouth, her tongue flicked it hard before using her teeth to stretch the nipple taut. She did the same with the other one before moving back up to my lips, biting one gently before kissing me, her tongue invading my mouth.

We kissed for a while, our tongues fencing and I was squeezing Alex's breasts as her hands were caressing my backside. She broke the kiss, grabbed hold of my hand and led me across to the bed. Alex kissed me again, this time dropping her hands to my cock. She took control, and I was happy to let her lead me. She pushed my head down onto her breasts, and her nipples came alive at the touch of my tongue, hardening into little points.

She took one of my hands and moved it to her cock, which was already growing. I wrapped my hand around the shaft and it grew harder under my touch, and my cock rose as blood pumped into it. I was breathing heavily now and made a sound deep in my throat as I became more and more aroused. Still kissing, Alex pushed me down flat on the bed and straddled my chest with her cock pointing straight at my face. I first kissed the soft purple tip then opened my lips and took it into my mouth using my tongue to lick and bathe around the head. Alex brought her hands down to the back of my head to ensure her cock stayed in my mouth.

Letting Alex take control of me was exciting; allowing her to lead me and make all the moves made everything much more arousing. It felt liberating for someone more dominant to be in charge.

She whispered, "Turn over, baby and get on your hands and knees, because I am going to fuck your brains out." Those words sent a shiver of excitement through me and although I knew what was coming this time, I wanted it so desperately.

I turned over and went down on my hands and knees, it felt kind of demeaning and exciting at the same time to be in that position, head down on the pillow and backside high in the air exposing myself. I felt Alex move up behind me and I jumped as I felt her tongue flick across my rosebud. She spread my cheeks apart, making me feel even more exposed and vulnerable. The feeling that swept through me as she continued to lick all around my hole was extraordinary. I had never known you could get so much pleasure from there. Her tongue forced its way past the muscle into my hole and I felt the blood pounding through my head and I felt dizzy with the sensations sweeping through me.

I felt her tongue disappear to be replaced by her fingers working lube into my hole. She pushed first one finger and then two inside me and I felt myself wince as she brought a third finger inside. Alex moved her fingers in and out and I felt both violated and aroused as she jabbed her fingers inside me. I felt myself as hard as a steel pipe now and she moved her other hand around to stroke my cock. The sensations of her fingers in my hole and on my cock at the same time blew me away. I didn’t know whether to push back on her fingers at the back or push into her hand at the front. My brain was in system overload.

Alex removed her fingers, and in their place, I felt the tip of her cock tapping at my hole. She pushed at the entrance and I tensed. She stroked my back, "Relax and push down, baby."

I did as she said, and she edged her cock into the hole and withdrew it, then pushed hard past my muscle and she was in. It was painful this time as well, and I heard myself grunt as she pushed her cock deeper inside me. It felt easier in this position and the pain eased faster this time. She moved her cock slowly in and out at first, then shoved harder as I pushed back. I bit my lip as the pain increased again but somehow this felt different, her cock filled me and it felt good to be used in this way. I have no words to describe why this was, but it felt right to have her cock inside me and for her to own me like this.

Her cock swelled inside me as she moved faster and faster, her balls slapping against my backside. Alex leant forward and to feel her breasts and hair brushing my back while she was fucking me made me delirious. I could hear her grunting as she drove her cock in and out of me until she stopped pushing for a moment, and then shoved savagely back into me, pushing me hard into the pillow. She paused and then repeated the same animal thrust for three or four times. I felt her cock expand and then she exploded into me, her cum pumping deep inside. Alex jerked as she climaxed, then fell forwards on my back and we tumbled down onto the bed. We lay there for a while, her cock still hard and inside me. She eventually pulled out, and I felt empty as her cock left me.

We cuddled on the bed, trying to recover from what has happened. Alex leant forwards, wiped the sweat from my eyes and kissed me gently.

"I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did, baby.".

I smiled, "Just let me know when you’re ready to go again."

She roared with laughter, stood up and did a crazy little dance, her cock flapping about wildly. It was the silliest and most erotic thing I had seen. We ate breakfast on the balcony and it was before 8 o’clock when my phone buzzed with a text. It was from Sam, ‘call me asap’

Probably a question about the project, I thought. I called and Sam picked up straight away.

"Hi Sam, What’s up?"

"Oh, hi James, look I can’t talk too much right now, but wanted to warn you, that bloody journalist has been sniffing around again. He’s called the company in Cambridge and asked if they knew, quote, ‘Their rescue hero IT whizz is living with a transsexual ex hooker in a Thai brothel’ unquote." The company over here hasn’t been involved yet but I hear they are throwing a hissy fit in Cambridge."

"Shit, sorry Sam, you’re a star, thanks for the heads up. Not that I can do anything about it from here."

She interrupted, "No, but you might want to get across here before the shit completely hits the fan."

"OK, I’ll think about that. Will you keep me in touch if you hear anything else?"

Alex was looking at me, bewildered by the conversation and the look on my face as I listened to what Sam had to say.

"What is it, what's wrong?"" Alex was grabbing my elbow as I finished the call with Sam.

I told her what Sam had told me the other day as well as what she had said on the phone.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why didn't you tell me straight away? You should have told me while I was in Bangkok."

"There didn't seem to be any real threat, I thought it would die away like everything else does. I didn't think it was urgent enough to disturb whatever it was you were doing in Bangkok."

"Oh? And what do you think now?" Alex snapped, her eyes blazing.

"Look, there's nothing you can do about it, is there? It's a grotty little newspaper back in England and even if it does get published, it will be a one minute wonder."

"Yea, and that grotty little newspaper happens to in the city where we went to University and will get read by the narrow minded little gimps there, whose only pleasure in life is gossiping about who is sleeping with whom, who will tell all their equally gimpy friends on the internet and it will be halfway round the world before breakfast."

She was now walking around the room and I felt a storm brewing.

"I have worked so hard to keep myself out of the news and here I am, going to be splashed across the press as, what was it? ‘A transsexual ex hooker in a Thai brothel’ I fucking hate them."

I was getting angry too, but with her, "Well at least you are a long way away, what are you worried about, it's no skin off your nose. It won't even make the newspapers here, and if it did, would it make any difference to what you are doing here? It might even get you some free publicity." Even then I knew that was cheap shot.

"What do you know? You have no idea what you're talking about." She paused; a thought had struck her. "Shit, I need to get hold of Kritsada quickly."

"Kritsada? What's he got to do with it?" I was baffled by this turn of events. "Anyway, I'm the one who has most to lose here?"

She turned to stare at me, "What?"

"I'm the one who is going to be a laughing-stock. When the company gets through with me, I'll be bloody lucky if they keep me on as a cleaner after this." It finally struck home what this might mean for me.

She shrugged her shoulders, "So what, you don't like the work, anyway. I need to get to Kritsada."

"So what happens to me doesn't count? What is it with you and Kritsada? Why is it so bloody important for you to talk to him about this? What is going on between you two?"

A thought smashed me between the eyes. "Are you lovers? Is that what this is about?"

Alex stared at me in astonishment, "Let's get this straight, you think Kritsada and I are having an affair? After everything I've done about what I feel for you since you got here, you honestly think I am having an affair with Areeya’s father?"

I was wild now, "It would explain everything, the way you behave around him. And the sudden trip to Bangkok, the instant he tells you to go. That wasn't a request from him that was an order and you went."

She shook her head, "I don't fucking believe this."

"It explains everything, the loans, the way you're at his beck and call, everything." I was gabbling now.

"You need to be careful what you say now. It explains nothing, you know nothing, and it would be better if you didn't know anything." She was holding herself back now, speaking slowly, her anger cold and threatening.

"What? So, I just have to trust you?"

She paused but her eyes slid away from mine. "Yes, you do. It isn't an affair."

"Well, if isn't an affair, what the fuck is it? You tell me you love me, but you won't tell me the truth?"

"I told you, you don't want to know the truth, trust me."

"And if I won't trust you?"

She shrugged, "Your problem, not mine."

That was it. I exploded. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I wish I had never come."

Alex sat down, stared at me, her eyes flashing with anger, "What did you say?"

"I wish I had never come over here."

It was like the storm had broken, "FUCK YOU. I put my heart and soul on the line for you, I was happy here and I risked all that to see if I could chase a dream."

The red mist descended, what she said wasn’t fair, "Yes, and that was totally up to you, wasn’t it. It was what you wanted, and I happened to be on hand and you decided all on your own to take that risk. It’s not on me."

This argument had already spiralled out of control and we were hurting each other without even thinking of the damage our words could do; rage and frustration pouring out of both of us. We were two grown up children fighting in the playground, and it was about to get far, far worse.

"Do you want to know what I did in Bangkok?" she spat the words at me, "I warned you, remember."

"Yes I do."

"I was fucking men for Kritsada."

It took me a few seconds to register what she had said.

"What did you say?"

"I said, I was fucking men for Kritsada."

I had to sit down. I felt my world slipping sideways.

"What for, I mean, why?"

"It doesn’t matter; I am not having an affair with anyone, its business." She sat down too.

I shook my head, "What kind of business? I mean, oh, I don’t know what I mean. How can it be business?" My head couldn't bring this all together.

Alex put her head in her hands, "It’s part of the business deal we have on the loan that Kritsada underwrites for us. I had to agree to provide him with certain personal services to entertain business contacts with certain tastes, or to sleep with people so he can get information from them. I warned you that you would be better off not knowing. It was a high ranking British diplomat in Bangkok this time. The blonde kathoey is still in demand." She said the last words with a bitter pride in her voice.

My mind was spinning as I could not take all this in. I felt my pulse racing, and I thought I would faint.

I finally pulled myself together, "Why do you do it?"

"Simple, Kritsada was the only one who would underwrite our loan for this place. No-one else would give a crazy farang kathoey and her girlfriend a single Baht without it being underwritten. He agreed to do it so long as he could have his pound of flesh. I told you he was a thug."

"Why can’t you stop?"

"Because he would pull out of the deal immediately. He has me over a barrel. There are three years left on the deal." She sat back in the chair, looking out of the window.

"Does Areeya know?"

She snorted, "Of course she does. But even she can’t get him to change it, she’s tried, but he says a deal is a deal."

"So Kritsada pimps you out, is that right?" She flinched as if my words were a whip across her back

"No, it's not like that."

"Then what is it like? Because that's exactly what it sounds like." I was raging now; having to drag out everything bit by bit was making it so much worse in my eyes.

"And you won’t stop?"

"I can’t stop. I would lose everything I have worked for if I did." She bit her lip and wrapped her arms around herself, "I have to tell Kritsada about this, he won’t like the publicity, he always likes to operate in the shadows and this will not please him."

"And that’s what you’re worried about?" I couldn't believe how she was reacting. I felt like I was a passenger in an out-of-control car heading for the edge of a cliff and there was nothing I could do to stop it. In the space of a few minutes my life had turned into a car crash. I had to get out.

"Fuck, I can't cope with this. I'm going back to Bangkok to see if I can save my career."

She shrugged her shoulders, "Go ahead, but if you leave now, don't ever come back. I won't want to see you again."

The red mist had descended, and all I said was, "So be it."

She spun on her heel and walked out the door of the flat and down the stairs. Three hours later I was back in Bangkok.

Chapter 14

Maybe things could have been different, but I was so angry I couldn't think straight. I found myself in a taxi on the way to Samui airport, and I felt so sick at what I had heard I made the taxi driver to stop so I could throw up at the side of the road.

There was a seat on the next flight to Bangkok and by mid-afternoon I was back in the city. I booked into a hotel close to Nana Plaza and spent the afternoon stewing in my room, drinking Scotch from the minibar and raging at Alex, at Kritsada and above all at myself for getting dragged into this tragicomedy.

My head was throbbing from the effects of this morning’s argument and the volume of Scotch I was drinking. It wasn’t a recipe for clear thinking and the whisky exacerbated my already dangerous mood. By early evening I had drunk myself into a foul combination of anger and self-pity, at which point I decided that all I needed was to get out and have more drink so I made my erratic way to Nana Plaza. It has a host of bars and go-go clubs and a few kathoey bars. Already loaded with the hotel Scotch I topped it up with a few beers in a bar.

I had now reached the point where self-pity had degenerated into self-loathing and I decided I needed some company, so I headed up to one of the kathoey bars. Cascades I think it was, but to be honest it could have been any of them, as I wasn’t seeing that straight. As I sat down several of the girls came over, breasts barely contained by their bikini tops and bottoms that clearly showed what customers were looking for. I motioned to one to sit with me and she wiggled her way across and sat down on my lap.

"You buy me drink? What your name?"

"James, and yeah I’ll buy you a drink, why not?"

"I Ting. I like you."

Ting ordered the drinks and before they had even arrived, she had her hands inside my shirt and was wiggling her bum against my cock which, having a mind of its own, responded.

"What you wan do, James? You like cock or pussy?" said Ting, her mouth close to my ear which she then started to nibble. She slid my hand into her lap and onto her cock, which felt quite large. I left my hand there and rubbed it through her bikini which only made her squirm even more on my already excited cock.

"I want to watch the show first," I said, looking at her and finding it difficult to focus. The noise and the light show in the bar were scrambling my brain, already overloaded with alcohol. The girls were all on the multi-level stage at the centre of the bar. I know I was drunk but even in my state they looked fabulous. They all wore identical bikinis with numbers so clients could pick a particular girl they liked. Dancing and throwing shapes on the stage, these girls would have given the Sphinx an erection.

"OK," Ting said cheerfully, "then we go short time, maybe?"

Why the hell not? I thought. I had nothing to lose. It wasn’t only Alex who could go whoring in Bangkok.

"OK," but let’s have another drink first." Ting gave me a hug and continued to kiss and nibble my ear and slide her bum over my growing cock. My arm was around Ting and my fingers strayed under her bikini top and I started to rub her breasts.

She was completely unmoved by this and even lent over to talk to one of the bar girls sitting next to us. She swayed back onto my lap and whispered in my ear.

"You wan two girl, short time?"

By this time the drink had taken away my foul mood and left me with that dangerous alcohol high that not only wipes away inhibition but also robs you of any sense.

"Sure," I slurred, "why bloody not, find me a friend."

"My fren Bell, she like you.'

"Bell and Ting, that sounds great, we could start a band." She looked at me as if I was mad.

"You wan go short time now?"

"Yeah, let’s go Ting, and Bell, where’s Bell? Bell and Ting, I love it."

Ting grabbed the girl who had been sitting next to us and after I had paid a king’s ransom for the drinks and the bar fine, we headed upstairs. Ting was tall and slender, long dark lustrous hair down to the middle of her back and a wiggle that could hypnotise. She put her arm through mine and was happily chatting away to Bell.

If I had been capable of sensible thought, I might have remembered the night I met Pao at Cockatoo and had been so scared I had literally run out of the bar. How times had changed.

On top of Nana Plaza there are short time rooms that can be rented by the hour, and that’s where we headed. Ting asked me for the money to rent the room and Bell grabbed my hand and pulled me over to one of the rooms. Bell was pretty with a round girlish face, nice big breasts and a cute bum. She smiled all the time and giggled as I flopped onto the bed. She came and sat astride my lap, unbuttoned my shirt and kissed me.

Ludicrously, my arms got caught in my shirt sleeves and I fell backwards on to the bed. I lay there giggling as Ting arrived who pulled my shirt off. Bell now took off my shoes while Ting unbuckled my belt and unzipped my trousers. I was still lying on my back with my legs over the edge of the bed. Ting stood up and in one practised move the bikini top came off and the bottoms pushed down. I could see even from my prone position on the bed she had beautiful breasts and a tiny little cock. How sweet, I thought in my drunken state. She dropped to her knees and wrapped her lips around my cock which, despite the amount I had drunk was already hard. She knew how to suck cock and she was lapping, licking and sucking with her tongue as well as her hands to get me excited. Bell had climbed onto the bed, "You wan suck cock?"

I had one small moment of doubt and then the alcoholic bravado kicked in and I said "Yeah."

Bell knelt at the side of my head and fell forwards on her hands with her cock dangling above my lips. I reached up and with my hand pulled her down towards me. Bell’s cockslid in through my lips and she was much bigger than Ting. She slipped it in and out through my lips and as I licked and sucked, it grew inside my mouth. I thought I would choke at one point but she eased up and although I gagged once or twice, I found I could cope.

She was driving her cock into my mouth and I reached up to fondle her breasts.

“You like my cock, huh? Suck it deep. You suck my cock good.”

Ting stopped sucking, sat up and rolled a condom on me. With her back to me she squatted over me, reached behind her and moved my cock with her hand until it touched her hole. She bounced up and down once or twice as I started to penetrate her, then she pushed down hard and I was inside her.

I could see Ting’s back as she rose and fell on my cock and I felt myself tight within her as she moved her hips from side to side as well as up and down. It wasn't long before I felt my inevitable climax growing and my hips twitched and I exploded into Ting. She kept bouncing but then eased herself off my cock, slid the condom off and threw it in a waste bin. Bell was still facefucking me and I signalled for her to stop.

"Turn over," she said, "I wan fuck you, big boy."

I was sobering up now, but I did as she said and got down on my hands and knees as she moved behind me. I watched as she ripped open a condom wrapper and rolled it over her cock. Ting moved around the bed and climbed up in front of me, slapped my face with her cock and then pushed it into my mouth. She was smaller than Ting and I took her all the way in. I felt Bell put lube around and in my hole and yelled as she pushed her cock straight into me. The pain flared and then she smacked me on the bum as if to say shut up. The sting of the slap took away the pain as she drove her cock hard in and out.

She was big and getting larger as she thrust her cock into me, pushing me onto Ting’s cock. I thought I’m being screwed at both ends and started to giggle, but stopped as Bell gave me an extra hard thrust. The pain had had eased now, and I tried to move backwards in time with Bell’s forward movement. She slapped my bum again as if I was a horse and quickened her thrusts. I lost all hope of keeping up with her and she kept pushing hard, then moaned once, her cock swelled inside me as she came. She pulled out, and I fell on the bed letting Ting’s cock slip from my mouth. As I looked up at them standing over me a stunning flash of clarity exploded through my addled brain, You bloody fool, what the hell are you doing? You should be with Alex.

I started to cry and as tears flowed down my cheeks, I felt so lost and lonely. All the anger and frustration from today that had been dulled by the alcohol and the sex burst out, and I sat there on the bed between the two kathoeys, bawling my eyes out like a child.

Bell and Ting were a little scared by my outburst and I tried to tell them that everything was OK that it was too much drink. I think they believed me, and I gave them a big tip. I wanted to get away as fast as I could and found my way back to the hotel. Sitting on the edge of the bed with tears rolling down my face again I hated myself for what I had done. The alcohol was now bringing me down and wave after wave of guilt and shame washed over me. By fucking Ting and Bell I had been seeking revenge on Alex for what I believed was her betrayal of me. How stupid can a man be?

For the first time in my life I cried myself to sleep.

I woke up the next morning with a hangover, a mouth like the bottom of a parrot’s cage and the biggest case of guilt I had ever felt. The first two could I could sort out with aspirin and lots of water; the guilt would take a lot more than that to expunge.

I looked at the clock, 9 o’clock. A headache had kicked in hard, drumming across the back of my eyes, and I needed water, painkillers and coffee, in that order. Possibly a priest too, I thought. I needed to talk to somebody, and I knew of only one person I could call. I dialled Sam’s number hoping she would pick up, but it went to voicemail, so I left a message asking her to call me back. Dragging myself out of bed, I tried to throw up and failed. My hands were shaking, but I managed to shower and shave and got my body at least in presentable condition, I wish I could have cleaned up my mood as easily.

Sam called back, and we agreed to meet in the hotel lobby for coffee. She arrived, kissed me and then took a long look at me.

"James, you look like shit."

"Thanks, Sam, that’s good, because I feel much, much worse."

She raised her eyebrows in enquiry, but I shook my head, “Later Sam. I need some coffee first.”

I ordered an espresso and as the caffeine woke me up a little. “Sam, can you fill me in on what's happened with the company and then I promise I’ll tell you about me.”

“The story about you and Alex is all over the UK gutter press and it has got the company running around like headless chickens. They are trying to get hold of you and have told me that if I see you, I was to get you on the next flight back to London. James, as far as I'm concerned I haven’t seen you and I don't know where you are.”

“Thanks Sam, you’re a mate, but I don't want to get you in any trouble.”

“Don't worry about me, what the hell happened to you?”

That simple question burst the dam gates. I put my head in my hands and took a deep breath.

“Alex and I had a huge row. Long story short, for various reasons I thought she was having an affair with Kritsada.”

Sam looked shocked, “Areeya’s father?”

I nodded. “It gets worse. I confronted her and it turned out that in return for underwriting Alex’s loan he gets her to have sex with people he wants to influence. If she doesn't he’ll call in the loan.”

“Fucking hell, James.”

“I know, but that's what he's like. We had a massive bust up, and I stormed out and came back to Bangkok. She told me never to come back, and I got smashed last night, hence the rather fragile appearance.”

I left out the other events of last night. I didn't think it would help my cause. Sam looked shocked.

"Sorry, Sam, I appreciate you listening, I had to tell someone."

"Don’t worry mate, happy to lend you an ear. What will you do?"

"I wish I knew, Sam."

"James, look, tell me to back off if you want, but do you love Alex?"

I took a big gulp of coffee and thought for a moment before replying, "I have never felt like the way she makes me feel. When I’m with her, I feel more alive than I can believe. Being with her is like a ride on a roller coaster, half the time you don’t know if you are upside down or going to plunge into the ground, but she’s like speed in my veins. I felt like my life was running at half speed until I met her, and when we were apart, I couldn't stop thinking about her. She takes my breath away."

“On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd say that’s a 10, James.”

It was this short talk with Sam that opened up my eyes to what I had done. I flopped back in the chair and realised that I had thought only of myself and not about Alex. I was supposed to love her and yet all I had done was to think about what it meant for me. My face burnt with shame as I realised she was the real victim here, not me. She was tied into this foul contract and I had totally ignored what she was going through and how she must be feeling. She had tried to protect me and like an idiot I had accused her of having an affair with Kritsada. The memory of my words to her scorched like sulphur in my brain.

I loved Alex and had been a colossal fool to react and behave as I did. I felt sick again but this time for a different reason. Kritsada’s words about courage being the ability to make the right decision under pressure came flooding back. I had flunked that test this time. Had I thrown away the most important thing I had ever had in my life?

"I know I love her, Sam, but I don't know if I can handle this thing with Kritsada, and she doesn't want to see me again."

She thumped me hard on the arm, "That's just self-pity. Snap out of it. I can guarantee that if she loves you, there will be a way to get her to see you again. Is there anything you can do with Kritsada?"

"I've met him and by what I've heard he won’t budge. He’s a thug, and he holds people to a deal." I thought of Alex and what she had said about a pound of flesh. That made me feel worse as I realised how unhappy Alex was. That was the reason she behaved as she did around him. I held my head in my hands and moaned with guilt and self-recrimination. Then I remembered the dream she’d had, that must have been about her trying to break free from Kritsada. I felt my heart break as I thought about what she must have gone through in Bangkok. I had to get her back somehow.

"So, you won't even try?" said Sam sarcastically, "Why not go to see him. Surely there's something you can say to him?"

An idea flashed into my head, maybe after all there was something I could do. "Sam, you are a genius and I love you."

"Thanks, but what for?"

"If what I'm thinking of works, I'll know tomorrow afternoon and I'll tell you then." I kissed her as she left and spent the rest of the day planning what I would have to do the following day.

I felt elated because I had an idea that could work and scared to death because if it went wrong I would need to find a small hole somewhere in the world and crawl into it. I went to bed that night as nervous as a kitten, woke early the next day, made two appointments for later in the day and then booked the earliest flight out to Samui the following day. I prayed to whichever God would listen that my plan would work. I set out from the hotel to my first appointment of the day.

That evening I took Sam out to dinner and told her my plan and what had happened during the day. She was apprehensive about it and wished me luck but I knew this was the best chance I had to put things right. I had to get it right the next day or everything would crumble around my ears.

Chapter 15

I caught the first flight out to Samui and as soon as I landed I rang Areeya on her mobile. She must have recognised my number because she picked up but didn’t say anything.

"Areeya please don’t hang up. I need your help."

There was silence but at least she didn’t hang up.

"Areeya, I need to see Alex. I know you probably don’t think much of me right now but you know I am honest and I need to see Alex."

"She doesn’t want to see you, James."

At least she was talking now.

"I know that, and I can understand why, Areeya, but I have to see her, and I promise I won’t hurt her again."

"You’ve hurt her more than enough already James, why should I help you?"

"Because I did something wrong and I want to set things straight. You know me and if you have any feelings left for me, please help me to see her. I give you my word I will not hurt her again. I cannot undo what I have done, but if I can talk to her, I can make amends, Areeya. Please?"

Silence again.

"How can I tell that you won’t hurt her again?"

Still talking, that’s good I thought.

"Areeya, You have my word that I have something to say to her that will go some way to making up for what I did. The worst that will happen is that I will go away and never return."

"And what would be the best?" Areeya asked.

Good girl, I thought, she’s at least considering it.

"Areeya, it may still mean I have to go away, but at least I may have a chance to set things right."

Silence again.

"Where are you James?"

“Samui airport.”

"What? You’re here?"

"Yes, I Have to see her, Areeya."

"I will call you back." The line dropped and so did my hopes. I walked around and bought a beer and a sandwich. There wasn’t anything else to do there. An hour later, the phone rang, and I grabbed it. It was Areeya.

"James, I am trusting you with my life here. If this goes wrong and you let me down, Alex will never forgive me and I will find you and hurt you so badly."

"Areeya, you are an angel and you won’t regret it."

She snorted, "Come straight to the flat. I have told her there is a journalist who wants to write a story on the restaurant."

"OK, OK and thank you, Areeya." The line dropped and I ran for a taxi. For the first time ever I wanted a Thai taxi driver to go faster.

My heart was pounding as I reached Koh Samui Blue. I had bet the farm on this move and if it went wrong, I would lose everything. I walked slowly and deliberately up the steps to the flat and could see Alex sitting with her back to the door and Areeya looked anxious.

Taking a deep breath I counted to ten and walked through the door. Alex stood up and turned towards me smiling. Her smile froze as she saw me and the blood drained from her face.

"What the fuck is this?" she screamed, "Areeya, what the fuck have you done? I don’t want to see this bastard. Nor you if you helped set this up." Areeya’s face went white, and I jumped in, "Don’t blame Areeya, this was my doing. I need to speak to you."

Alex interrupted and yelled, "I will blame whoever I fucking well like and I don’t need to listen or talk to you. You had your chance, now fuck off."

I hoped that once she had blown up she would calm down, but the odds on that didn’t look good right now.

Areeya said, "Alex. I think you should give him one last chance. If he isn’t worth it, I will personally throw him down the stairs."

Alex looked furiously at Areeya, then at me and back to Areeya. She seemed to be making a decision on which one of us to go for first.

"You have five minutes and then you can piss off back to where you came from." At least she had stopped saying fuck, which might be a good thing.

Alex sat in one of the chairs at the dining table. She turned away from me and had her arms folded across her chest. Areeya was beside her and looked anxiously from me to Alex, desperately hoping she had done the right thing.

"Alex, I am truly sorry for what I said and the way I left and I will be sorry until my dying day. I thought only of myself and that is unforgivable. I should have thought of what you were going through and I failed you at the moment you most needed me. However, much I wish I could, I cannot undo what I said and did then. However, I want to see if I can make some amends for what I did. I want you to listen for five minutes and then if you want I will leave and you will never see me again."

"This had better be good," she hissed, still not looking at me.

"I made two appointments in Bangkok yesterday. The first was to hand in my resignation to my company with immediate effect. I am no longer have a job."

Alex turned even further away from me.

“If you're here to tell us you're going back to England, you could have saved the air fare.”

I took a deep breath and went on, "I told you I had made two appointments yesterday; resigning was the first, the second was with Kritsada."

Areeya's mouth opened wide and Alex froze in her chair.

Areeya said, "My father? Why?"

"He said after the pirate attack that if there was anything he could do for me, I should not hesitate to ask. Well, I went to him and asked for two things. The first was easy. I explained that I had resigned and that if I wanted to stay in Thailand, would he be able to use his influence to help me find a new job. He said that would not be a problem. He would be more than happy to help me."

Areeya asked, "But you said, if you want to stay?"

"Yes, Areeya, if. Because that decision is not mine alone." I replied, looking towards Alex.

She was still turned away from me but she was now definitely listening to what I was saying.

"I had gone to ask for two things from Kritsada. The second was much more difficult for me to ask and for him to give. I told him I knew about the secret contract he had with Alex and that I thought it was wrong for him to hold her to such a deal. I said I wanted him to release Alex from that part of the contract and in a way that would not affect the wider business relationship with you."

Alex sucked in her breath in and Areeya looked disbelieving, "But my father would not break a contract willingly made, it would go against everything he believes in."

Alex turned to stare straight at me.

"Areeya, I am sorry, but I have to say that what your father did with Alex is despicable, it's little more blackmail."

Alex jumped down my throat, "Don't you dare bring Areeya into this, I made that deal on my own and she has tried everything she can to change her father’s mind."

I turned to Areeya, "Areeya, I don't blame you in any way for what your father did, I know you love Alex and you wouldn't have been a part in this, but I still think it was wrong."

Areeya looked as if she was about to cry. "James, this had brought great shame to me that I could not change my father's mind over this." She blinked away tears from her eyes.

I paused a moment and went on, "I was so angry at him I wanted to storm in and threaten him with exposing him for what he does."

"Fuck, tell me you didn't do that," Alex looked aghast.

"No, I'm not that stupid. I know that would have been worse than useless with him. Areeya, I think you underestimate how much your father loves you. Because of that I thought I might be able to use the debt he feels he owes me to change his mind. I suspect there would be no other circumstance in which he would agree to such a proposal, but in this case I thought that whatever he feels me might outweigh everything else. Your father, rightly or wrongly, feels I saved your life. He asked me to go away so he could think about it. He called me yesterday afternoon and told me that he would do this for me, but in return I should consider his debt to me repaid. I thanked him, but explained that I needed to come and tell Alex this and to ask what her decision would be, it was not a decision I could make for her. I did tell him that whatever Alex's answer would be, I would consider any debt to be settled in full."

Alex and Areeya were absolutely still, neither of them moved a muscle.

"Kritsada asked me why I was doing this and I told him I thought it was the honourable thing for him to do. I told him again that if Alex had not done what she did when we were attacked then we all would have died. I still believe that Alex was the most courageous of us all that day. He doesn't understand that at all, but he said he would give his word it would not affect the business relationship he has with you. For him, I think it was a hard decision but in the end he valued what I had done for Areeya above his deal with Alex. I have to give him an answer tomorrow."

There was silence in the room; the only sounds were from waves washing against the beach and a car horn somewhere on the strip in Lamai.

"Alex," I said, speaking to her directly this time. "It’s up to you to decide whether to accept Kritsada’s offer. I will give your answer to him tomorrow and you know he is a man of his word. He will honour the new arrangement."

"And you, what will you do?"

I thought before speaking, "Alex, I have no job and I do not want to go back to England. There is nothing there for me now. If Kritsada can help me find a new job in Thailand, then I will stay here. If not, I will have to start over again, something that would have terrified me a few weeks ago, but now I look forward to it. I need to do something different. My time here has opened my eyes to a new life and I want to embrace it."

"And if I don't accept the arrangement?"

"Then I will tell Kritsada and I will leave Samui today and you won't see me again."

"And if I do accept?" she said, looking away again.

"Then I would stay in Thailand and ask you to forgive me for walking out on you as I did and to take me back."

She stood and walked over to the window and stared out into the distance.

She turned and asked me, "What made you go to Kritsada?"

"Honestly?"

“I need you to be honest with me.”

"Because I realised in Bangkok that I had thrown away the best thing that had ever happened to me in my life. I said things to you that day that were unforgivable and I wanted to try to make up for the hurt I had caused you. I know that I am a better man than the one who said and did those things. I fucked up, and I wanted to give you the opportunity to live your life in freedom without having that damned contract hanging over your head. And I finally realised that if I loved you, nothing else should matter."

Areeya sat there looking stunned and Alex moved away from the window and stood somewhere behind me.

My heart was thumping like a jackhammer as I waited for Alex to say something. I tried to read Areeya’s expression as she was looking straight at Alex, but her face was a mask. I heard the sound of Alex's heels on the floor as she moved behind me and I could smell her perfume as she moved closer.

She laid one hand on my shoulder, "James, no one in my entire life has done something like this for me." She sniffed and I think she was in tears, "but if I accept this offer, I am merely swapping one debt for another. I will be in debt to you I instead of to Kritsada."

I wanted to turn around to look at her but her hand pressed down harder on my shoulder and I stayed as I was. Something from a long-ago Bible study class flashed into my mind.

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another." That's what the Bible says. You could not be in my debt as I love you." I silently gave thanks for a Catholic education.

She was silent for a moment and her hand rubbed my shoulder, "And what do you want out of this?"

I put my hand over hers on my shoulder, "I deserve nothing in return for this, Alex. What I would like is for you to give me another chance."

"James, I hated you, not so much for what you said, but for walking out the way you did and I never wanted to see you again. I was in pieces after you left and Areeya spent the entire night trying to stop me crying. For the second time you had left me and this time I couldn’t see any way back. When I turned round and saw you when you came in, I could have killed you. I can't afford to be hurt any more, James."

Areeya brushed a tear from her eye. This time I did turn round, stood up and put my arms around Alex.

"Alex, if you will have me back, it will be for good. I don’t know what I would do without you. I love you."

She put her hands up to my face and looked me in the eye for a heartbeat and then kissed me. I felt her arms go round me and she held me tight. Tears were now splashing onto my cheek and she said, "James, I accept and I want you to stay, will you stay?"

"Alex, there's nothing in this world I want more."

Areeya stood and came to join us. Soon all three of us were crying and laughing together.

Areeya pulled back with a straight face, "James, if you ever, ever hurt Alex again I swear I will hunt you down and cut off your cock, am I clear?"

Alex laughed, "no need, Areeya, It will already be in my purse."

Our hugging became more intense, hands infiltrated clothes. I turned to Alex and kissed her. and felt her hand on my cock. I looked down to see she had one hand on my cock and the other was under Areeya's short dress and rubbing her pussy through her knickers. In one elegant move Areeya lifted her dress up and over her head to reveal those wonderful breasts and I watched as Alex's hand disappeared down the front of Areeya's knickers. Areeya moaned and arched her back as she felt Alex's fingers invade her pussy.

I took one of Areeya's breasts in my mouth and sucked on her nipple. It responded instantly, the nipple hard as my tongue swirled around it. Alex, one hand still in Areeya's pussy dropped to her knees and unzipped me with the other. She pulled me out and engulfed my cock with her mouth. I was still sucking on Areeya when Alex pulled her head back, stood up with a mischievous smile, "Let's take this outside."

Areeya giggled and grabbed my cock and pulled me towards the door to the balcony.

"We can't," I said, "people might see us.'

Alex laughed, "So what?"

Areeya was dragging me along by my cock and Alex was pushing me from behind as we stumbled through the door onto the balcony. The balcony wasn't visible from below but there were buildings on either side from which it could be seen. I looked around nervously but there didn't seem to be anyone I could see.

"Are you sure?"

"Fucking positive. Stop being so English,” growled Alex.

She once again slid to her knees, unbuckled my belt and pulled my trousers and boxers to the floor. My cock had shrivelled, so she worked on it with her hands and tongue. Areeya stood behind me with her arms around me and undid the buttons on my shirt pulling it off. In a few seconds the two girls had stripped me naked. Areeya’s hands were all over my chest and nipples from behind and her breasts and her hard nipples pressed into my back as she nibbled my earlobe.

Alex's attention had got my cock hard again and she let me fall from her mouth, grabbed Areeya from behind me, lapping at her pussy. I watched in awe as Alex tongued Areeya and her hand reached out for my cock and stroked it. I turned Areeya's head towards me and we kissed, our tongues fighting as Alex worked on both of us.

There's something special about making love outside; feeling the sun on your skin and the breeze tickling you as it swirls around your body. There's a different intensity because of the risk of being caught and it ramps up the excitement to a fever pitch.

Alex stood up and pulled us all over to the sun beds and pushed me down onto my hands and knees in front of her. She was the only one of us left with clothes on and she now reached around to unzip her dress and let it slide to the floor and she stepped out of her knickers. Her cock was already pointing to the sky as she stood in front of me and taking her cock in her hand she rubbed it across my lips before pushing it into my mouth.

I licked the head of her cock and I could see her hands pulling and tugging her breasts. Areeya slipped beneath me on her back and drew my cock into her mouth. She torments my cock with her tongue, swirling it around the head and flicking the underside where I was so sensitive. She reached up and played with my balls as Alex pushed her cock deep into my mouth. I gagged but kept on sucking her.

Alex was breathing heavily and moaning as she ground her cock into me. Areeya slipped a finger into my hole as she went on sucking and making me squirm, earning me a cock slap across my face from Alex. I was already in sensory overload from what they were doing to me and I knew I couldn’t last much longer. Alex sensing this, moved away and pushed me aside. Areeya let my cock slip out, and she lay down face down on the lounger. She pushed her bum in the air and Alex shoved me on top of her. She was so wet, my cock slid straight into her pussy. I felt Alex stand on the bed behind me and she quickly lubed me, opened my cheeks with her hands and drove her cock into my hole. I lurched forward, driving myself deeper inside Areeya.

My cock was tight inside Areeya and Alex was pushing hard into me. Every time Alex pushed into me it pushed me onto Areeya. She was moaning loudly now as I crashed into her pussy and I was grunting as Alex was shoving her cock into me. I felt my head was about to explode and I couldn't hold back any more, I shouted "Fuuuuck" and came deep inside Areeya but I was still being driven into her by Alex who now felt huge inside me. She pulled out of me as she was about to come and her hot cum splashed onto my back.

Alex jumped off the bed and knelt in front of me. Areeya rolled me over and Alex pushed her still erect cock back into my mouth and I licked and sucked the cum that was still seeping from her slit. Flopping back on the bed, I looked up to see Alex grinning down at me.

"Now, that’s what I call makeup sex," she said.

I was startled to hear someone clap, followed by more clapping and then someone cheered. I looked towards the sound and over on the building to our right there were people standing on their balcony and applauding. I went bright red and ran for the door. Areeya waved gracefully to the watchers and casually strolled after me but Alex stood there, took a deep bow, blew them a kiss and walked slowly through the door. The clapping and cheers rose to a crescendo.

Chapter 16

We decided to have a celebration dinner tonight downstairs, and Alex disappeared to the restaurant to organise it. Areeya had to go to Cockatoo to sort out some issues they were having, and so I was left to my own devices for a while. We agreed we would all get together at Cockatoo for a drink before dinner.

The first thing I did was to email Sam about how the plan had worked out. I had an email back in seconds saying how pleased she was that things had panned out for me. She told me that my resignation had made the shit hit the fan in a big way back in Cambridge. There were rumours that senior people felt there had been a panicky overreaction to the press story and that it didn’t look good to clients that they had handled my situation so badly. Even that they might offer me my job back.

I laughed to myself at the thought of the bloodletting that might be going on back in Cambridge because of me. They had sought to make PR out of my experience and then dropped me at the first sign of trouble. They could stuff their job right where the sun don’t shine, I thought. I asked Sam to pass on a message that I would not want my job back. I was well out of it.

There were messages from friends and acquaintances that had read the story and wanted to know if it was true. I Told them that as usual the press had got everything wrong and they should disregard everything they read. I explained that I had fallen in love with Thailand and would be staying here. I didn’t particularly care if they believed me or not; I had burnt my bridges with the UK and there were now only a few people I cared about back there. I heard from someone that my delightful ex was telling the decreasing number of people who would listen to her that she always knew I had been ‘that way inclined’, and that was why she had left me.

One message in particular made me pay attention. It was from a good friend in the firm back in Cambridge and whilst he was asking the usual questions about the press story there was something he wrote that intrigued me. He said he had heard a rumour that someone in the company had been leaking stuff to the press about what was happening out in Thailand. He didn't have a name, and he stressed that it was only a rumour. I sent him my standard reply about the press story and assured him I was doing fine, but I asked him to keep his ear to the ground and to let me know if he heard anything more.

I sat back and thought about this. There had been a niggling thought in my mind about how the press had come by the information for their story. It had seemed surprising that they had put together the story so accurately and quickly. OK, the words they used were over the top press hyperbole, but the guts of the story, I had to admit, were accurate. I had forgotten all about this niggle over the past few days as I had been worrying about more important things. I shook my head and dismissed it because it didn't matter anymore.

Alex came up from the restaurant, plonked herself down on my lap for a while, and we kissed and talked about how sorry we both were and how stupid we had both been. We soon found we could laugh with each other again and swore that we should never let a fight like that happen again. More kissing followed until it was time to head off to meet Areeya and we walked hand in hand down to Cockatoo. It turned out to be a busy night, and the bar was heaving. It was Full Moon Party time on Koh Phangen, another island close to Samui, but there was always an overspill to Samui. Pao spotted me, shrieked and ran over to jump on me, her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. Alex stood back, grinning all over her face as Pao said, "Welcome back, James, Pao missed you."

I looked over to Alex and raised my eyebrows in mock surprise.

"Looks like you have a friend for life."

I smiled at Pao for I was genuinely fond of her,, "I’ve missed you too Pao, but can I put you down now please?"

She giggled and let go of my neck, kissed me and ran off.

We had a few drinks and a lot of laughs with both the bar girls and the customers and I felt it was like coming home. Areeya was bouncing around because she had heard Sam was flying down from Bangkok for the weekend and they would be staying on the boat. I looked at Alex to see how she felt about this and all I could see on her face was joy that Areeya was so happy.

I shook my head and wondered how big our hearts had to be to make this arrangement work. Finally, we decided it was time to head back for dinner and the three of us walked back arm in arm, laughing and joking to the restaurant where Alex had arranged a small private area for us. The chef and the kitchen staff surpassed themselves with the food they prepared and it was late by the time we finished and headed back up to the flat. We sat out on the balcony with a drink, watching the stars and listening to the music from the bars along the strip. We were far enough away for it not to be a real problem and we could enjoy chilling out together.

Alex cuddled me on one side and Areeya on the other and I thought about how lucky I had been to have redeemed myself today, and what an enormous fool I had been to put myself in such danger of losing Alex and Areeya. I had been given something few people ever get: a second chance at life after the pirate attack and yet I had been stupid enough to almost throw that chance away through being so blind and pig headed.

I had gone inside to fetch myself a Scotch and some beers for the girls when Alex asked me to sit down as she and Areeya wanted to talk about something.

Alex started, "Firstly, do you have any plans about what you want to do next?"

"You sound like my mother.”

That earned me a thump on the arm from Alex and a stifled laugh from Areeya. Alex thumped her for good measure.

"No, I don’t. I’m going to call Kritsada tomorrow with your decision and I will ask him then if he is still willing to help me. Your decision may have changed his mind on that."

Areeya jumped in, "No James, you are mistaken, my father, whatever his other faults, will keep his word to you."

I nodded to Areeya, I was sure she was right.

Alex went on, "Listen, we have an offer for you, no, two offers actually, that we would like you to think about. The first is that we need someone to help us with our technology for the business. We are getting bigger and we need to invest in some technology to help us grow. Ordering, stock control, invoicing, accounts, it’s all being done by hand at the moment and we need to do something about it or it will swamp us soon. Is that something you could help us with?"

I nodded, "It’s right up my street. I normally deal with bigger companies but the system and process design is no different, the solutions may be smaller, but that's detail."

Alex looked at Areeya, "Areeya said that would be the case, she understands more of this than I do.”

"I would be delighted to help. It wouldn’t take too long to design something that would help you be more efficient, reduce overhead and grow with your business."

Alex shared a glance with Areeya and they both smiled. "Thank you James, we had hoped you would say yes."

I smiled back, "I’d be happy to help. What’s the second thing you mentioned?"

I caught another glance between them, and I suddenly felt that this would be more interesting than the first and was the one they really wanted to talk about.

"James," Alex began, "you remember we told you we were planning a new venture?"

"Yes, you mentioned it the first night we met. You didn’t say what it was though."

"Well, we weren’t absolutely sure it would get approved but it has passed the final hurdle, or should I say we've paid off the last person we needed to." She looked at Areeya, who nodded confirmation. Alex went straight on, "Western tourists, male and female, have an insatiable curiosity for ladyboys, for one reason or another. Our idea is to bring a high quality ladyboy cabaret show to Samui. There are one or two small revues here in Chaweng but they aren’t good and we want to do a show that will have local performers as well as top names from Bangkok."

I nodded, "That sounds like a great idea, the shows I’ve seen in Bangkok are fabulous, it would be great to have something here."

It was true; some of the ladyboy shows in Bangkok are big productions and are packed out with tourists drawn in by the ladyboy mystique. I had been taken to the Calypso cabaret at Asiatique on the Chao Praya and it was a great show, with the beautiful ladyboys lip syncing and dancing in beautifully produced routines.

Alex went on, "I’m glad you say that because Areeya and I are fully stretched with what we are running at the moment and we’re looking for someone to help us run it."

"OK, and who do you have in mind?" I asked, not seeing what was coming.

Alex looked at Areeya, who said, "You, James."

"Me? Are you both mad? Why me?"

"Just hear us out" said Alex.

"But I don’t know anything about ladyboys."

Alex paused and looked at me, "James, that’s not strictly true because we know you have some personal experience in that area." She couldn’t keep a straight face and broke into a laugh. I had the sudden and uncomfortable feeling she somehow knew or guessed about what had happened in Nana Plaza. I knew I would have to confess to that sooner or later, but now didn’t seem the right moment.

"Yes, well, alright, but that’s nothing to do with running ladyboy shows."

Areeya smiled, "Yes, you’re right, but there’s nothing to say you can’t learn. Besides it’s not that you would be on your own. The whole operation is planned and almost ready to go. We need someone smart and sharp to get it off the ground and to make sure it’s running smoothly. Think of it as setting up a new system. How would handle a new project? Analyse it, break it down into its component processes and make them work together. It’s no different. We have someone in Bangkok to handle that end of things and the venue here is sorted. The vital thing for us is to have someone here who we can trust. There are too many people here who would want to rip us off. We have a good lawyer but it’s someone on the spot we need, a problem solver and fixer. We know you, James. You can think on your feet, not many people would have been smart enough or brave enough to take on my father in the way you did."

Alex chipped in, "You said you wanted to do something different, have new experiences, this would let you do that."

I was speechless, I had never in my life expected this. The oddest thing was I thought about how it might work, and then of course, why it wouldn’t work.

"But I don’t speak Thai," to me that was a clincher.

Areeya replied, "No problem, we’ll get you an assistant who can translate for you. In fact, I have the perfect person in mind."

"I don’t know," I started to whine a little.

"Look, we don’t expect you to answer today, think about it. We need an answer soon though, and if you have questions, then we’ll be here to answer them."

I shook my head; I still couldn’t believe what they were offering me, but there was one question I needed an answer to straight away.

"Does Kritsada have any hand in this?"

"Does it matter?" said Alex sharply. I knew the answer straightaway, but I wanted them to tell me.

"It matters to me and if I am going to be involved, then I need to know everything."

Alex and Areeya exchanged looks and there was an almost imperceptible nod from Areeya to Alex.

"Yes," said Alex, "Kritsada has put money in the venture, but it’s not that much, we needed a top up over what we could get secured against the two existing businesses."

"How much?" I asked.

Areeya answered this time. "It’s about 100,000 US dollars."

"Thank you for sharing that, and there are no other conditions in the contract?"

Areeya and Alex both looked away, and Alex looked back first, "No, there’s nothing else, James, that’s it."

"I’m sorry, but I needed to know." Neither Alex nor Areeya responded. "Look, let me think about it. It still sounds crazy to me but you two seem to think I could do it, so I should consider it and give you my answer in the next few days."

Alex said, "Ok and if it helps, there is a ladyboy cabaret in Chaweng, why don’t you go up there tomorrow night and have a look at the competition."

She went on, "There is one condition though, that you should be aware of before you make your decision."

I was puzzled, "What condition?"

Alex put a small box on the table, opened the lid and took out a small clear plastic device resembling a fat thumb which had what looked like a padlock attached. She held it in her fingertips, "Do you know what this is, James?"

I shook my head, "No. What is it?"

"It’s called a chastity cage, and it’s fitted over a penis and locked with a key. It makes it very painful for the wearer to have an erection." Alex spun the thing on her finger to demonstrate it.

"Ugh, but why are you showing it to me?"

"The condition for you taking the job is that if I catch you playing around with any of the girls in the show I will lock your cock into it and swallow the key, is that clear?"

I looked from her to Areeya and I couldn’t tell if Alex was joking. I decided to play it safe, "Well that won't be necessary as I wouldn't be doing anything with them at all."

Alex smiled, "Good, that’s the right answer." She looked thoughtful for a moment, spun the cage around on her fingers again.

"Thinking about it though, it might be fun to make you wear it, anyway."

She saw the horrified look on my face, "Don’t wet yourself. I would unlock it once a week," she giggled, "If you’re good that is."

Areeya could not keep a straight face any longer and burst out laughing.

Alex followed suit and through her laughter said, "You should have seen your face, I have never seen anyone quite as scared as that in my whole life."

I scowled as I looked from one to the other, both now crying with laughter. I grabbed it from Alex and had a good look at it and I shuddered as I thought about having my cock locked into it. It truly looked like an instrument of torture. Alex and Areeya were still howling with laughter and in the end I couldn’t stop myself joining in. Funny thing is, I wouldn’t put it past Alex to do it.

Eventually we all stopped laughing and Areeya said, "I’m off to my room. I think you two need some time together tonight."

She stood and kissed Alex and then me and headed off to her room leaving Alex and I on the balcony. We lay together on one the loungers, Alex’s head on my shoulder and I realised how good that made me feel. We talked quietly about how lucky we had been to meet again after all the years apart and how none of us know what will be around the next corner. Alex kissed me and I felt like I never wanted to leave her side. We drifted off to sleep holding each other in the warm night air.

I woke up a little later and thought we would be more comfortable in bed. I woke Alex, and as she went off to the bathroom, I decided that I should unpack my suitcase at long last. I took out what few clothes I had brought, and thought I nedded to get myself some new stuff soon. I found the Thai Boxing shorts that Alex had bought me what seemed months ago, but was only two weeks. Holding them up made me giggle, and I thought, why not? I’ll put them on tonight as a laugh for Alex, she did say wear them to bed after all.

I put my feet into them and pulled them up my legs and found they were probably a size too small for me which meant they cradled my cock and my bum quite tightly. I was about to take them off when Alex walked back in, "Ohhh, babe, you decided to wear them for me, you look so cute in them."

She pushed her hand down the back of the shorts grabbed my bum and kissed me, her tongue pushing into my mouth. My cock stood to attention and poked into Alex. She smiled and her hand caressed my cock through the shorts.

"Mmm, looks like someone likes the feel of these shorts," she murmured before kissing me again.

It was true; the touch of her fingers on my cock through the silky material was so sensual. I trembled with excitement as she continued to rub my cock. Alex had put on a short nightdress and as we kissed, I put my hands up inside the material and stroked her breasts, the nipples already hard. Her fingers continued to rub my cock, and I was already tenting out the shorts.

I squeezed her nipples between my fingers and she moaned in her throat. Still kissing she edged me backwards until the back of my legs touched the bed and I fell on my back onto the bed. She stood by the bed and hooked her hands beneath the nightdress and pulled it off over her head to leave her clad only in a small pair of knickers. Her cock was already poking up above the top of her knickers and I reached out and gently traced its shape through the material.

Alex giggled, and I hooked my fingers into her knickers and pulled them down far enough to allow her cock to pop out. It stood straight out and I thought she looked beautiful. I found it hard to accept that this beautiful woman was in love with me.

I pulled her towards me and kissed the head of her cock, making it twitch and jump. Caressing the tip with my tongue I then poked it into the slit as I heard Alex moan above me. She bent slightly and put her hand down and rubbed my cock through the shorts, the eroticism enhanced by the feel of the material. I started to move my hips to increase the pressure from her fingers.

Pushing her cock up against her tummy I ran my tongue up her shaft from her balls to the head and repeated this a few times. She moaned again and her legs buckled a little. I glanced up and I couldn’t break my gaze away from hers as I took her cock into my mouth, I felt calm, almost submissive to her. I felt my sole focus was her pleasure and I would do anything to make sure she was being fulfilled.

I sucked her deep into my mouth and I gagged but kept going. Using my hand as well on Alex’s cock I felt her grow even larger in my mouth. "Fuck, I’m getting close." Her voice was thick with excitement as she pulled out of my mouth, pushed me down and climbed on top of me in a 69.

As I took her cock back into my mouth, I felt her push down my shorts and she took me into her mouth. We both sucked hard on each other, and Alex pushed her cock deeper into my mouth. I felt it hit the back of my throat and felt my reflex kick in, so she eased back and then pushed in hard. This time I had it under control and took her shaft all the way in. She was using her tongue around my cock, driving me crazy as she took me deep into her throat and her hand was busy stroking it as well to keep me in a total state of arousal.

Her cock grew harder cock in my mouth and I knew her climax was approaching, so I sucked her as hard as I could. With a muffled "UNNNPPPH" she came into my mouth, and I took as much as I could but some splashed out around my lips. Seconds after she came, my groin tightened and I came in her mouth. I felt like I was high, so intense were the sensations flooding through me. Alex pulled away and my cock felt cold as it slipped out of her mouth. She lay down next to me and wiped away with her finger the cum that had spilled out of my mouth. She offered it to me, and I sucked it holding her finger in my lips until it was all gone.

"Holy mother, that was good,"

"It was alright, I suppose," I said, deadpan.

Her head jerked up to look at me and a tiny smile creased my lips.

"You are such a bastard James, and I will get you for this." She picked up a pillow and started beating me with it. I tried to grab her, and she screamed as I got my arms around her. Still trying to hit me with the pillow we collapsed, giggling like kids, back onto the bed. I held her tight and we kissed, the taste of each other’s cum lingering on our lips and tongue. We lay back, and I put my arm around her shoulders and she snuggled in close. Her hand stroked and played with my nipples as I held her tight. I looked down and her cock was lying across mine and that felt so right. I kissed her, "I love you Alex."

She grinned, "Mmm, I’m not sure, I’ll need to think about it."

I tweaked her nipple and she squealed, "Alright, if you insist, I love you too." She leant over and kissed me, her lips so soft and warm I could have kissed her forever. Alex put her hand down and took both our cocks in her hand and stroked them together. It was strangely calming to feel my cock alongside hers and I put my hand down too and replaced her hand with mine for a while. Her cock I realised with a start was bigger than mine and I felt a pang of insecurity until Alex kissed me again and I forgot everything except the feeling of her lips on mine.

We eventually broke the kiss and lay there listening to the sound of our breathing until we fell asleep. The last thing I could remember hearing was Alex saying, "Those shorts made your bum look sexy."

Chapter 17

I woke early the next day, my mind already full of what I needed to do. Alex had spooned up to my back during the night and she was snoring quietly, her hand laid across my waist. I interlaced her fingers with mine and she stirred but did not wake. I lay there for a while planning what I was going to say to Kritsada later that day. Once I had sorted out what to do, I eased out of bed and stood looking down at Alex. It had been a warm night and we had kicked off the covers, and she lay there naked, her breasts rising and falling with her breathing, her cock visible over the top of her knickers, and I had to fight hard to resist the temptation to wake her with a kiss on its tip. My heart did a little flip as she stirred in her sleep, and a small smile seemed to appear out on her face, making her look angelic in the light breaking through the balcony window.

I still could not believe that this girl was in love with me and I swore to myself there and then that I would never do anything again to jeopardise that love. I tiptoed away to the kitchen to make coffee and took it and the MacBook out onto the balcony. Checking my bank account it turned out to be in a pretty healthy state. I hadn’t spent any of my salary since coming out to Thailand, and I had some savings too back in the UK. Before I had met my delightful ex, I had rented out the house my parents had left me when they died, and that had more than paid the rent on the flat I shared with her. It meant I had been able to put away most of my salary, so I wasn’t rich by any means but not about to need food stamps. I hadn’t spoken to Alex and Areeya about living at the flat, but I felt I needed to start making some kind of contribution.

I sipped my coffee, watching the sun rise and feeling the warmth as it slid above the horizon. A germ of an idea had begun to grow in my mind after the conversation about the ladyboy cabaret last night and I used this moment of peace and quiet to put some flesh on the bones. I was interrupted when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around my neck from behind and Alex nibbled my earlobe.

"Morning Mr Hugh Grant." She whispered in my ear.

"Good morning Julia." I replied, and she nipped the earlobe.

"Oww, what was that for?"

"I hated Notting Hill, always wanted to be Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones."

"Me and my ear are glad we now know." I said, rubbing my ear where her teeth had nipped it.

She moved round and slipped onto my lap and only then did I realise she was still wearing only her knickers. She wiggled her bum against me and my cock woke up too.

"At least someone is glad to see me. I see you’re still wearing your nice tight shorts, or should I call them your knickers?" She smiled and kissed me on the lips.

Only then did I remember I was still wearing those damn shorts. I put my arms around her and we kissed and cuddled, watching the beach come to life.

"I need coffee, can you make me one please?"

I walked off to the kitchen and met Areeya coming out of her room. She was wearing the most beautiful silk robe and her hair was tousled from sleep and she had that air of waking up I find irresistible. She kissed me and patted me on the bum as she passed, "I like those, they make your butt look cute."

“Very funny, do you want a coffee too?”

She yawned and nodded at the same time. I brought the coffees out and Alex was now sitting on Areeya’s lap with their arms wrapped around each other, watching the sun rise. I felt not even a pang of jealousy as I watched them, happy that whatever God was up there had led me to these two beautiful people.

Alex looked across at me, "Areeya has come up with a good idea, James."

Areeya laughed, "Alex, why is that when you have an idea for James, you blame it on me?"

Alex grinned and, "I was thinking that if you are going to take the job with the show, you need to be more familiar with what being a member of the cast entails."

"Not sure what you mean, Alex."

"Well, you know the expression "walk a mile in my shoes?" she asked innocently.

I nodded, already fearful of where she was going with this. Alex stood up and came and sat on my lap and whispered in my ear, "I want you to dress as a girl, once, to see what it’s like."

"Are you crazy?" She wiggled her bum against my cock and I felt that damned traitor begin to get hard.

"Well someone thinks it’s not a bad idea," she whispered and licked my ear with the tip of her tongue and she moved my hand to her breast and her fingers sought my nipples.

"No, no, I won’t do it, I would look stupid."

She was now nibbling my earlobe and my nipples were hard between her fingers. I was caressing her breasts and beginning to pant as she continued to move around on my cock.

"Please, James, for me, it will only be once, it will help you understand what the cast have to go through."

My cock was now hard due to Alex’s wiggling, and she pushed one finger through my lips as she kept whispering, "You never know, you might like it. It will be between us, baby."

My cock was now painfully hard and Alex was still whispering in my ear, "Just imagine those soft silky knickers sliding up your freshly shaved legs and cupping your cock and balls, you will love it, sweetie."

I was now desperate to get relief and blurted out, "OK, Ok, but I want to fuck you now."

"Do you promise, James?" she was almost bouncing up and down on my cock by now and I couldn’t stand it any longer.

"Yes, yes, I promise."

"Thank you, sweetie, you won’t regret this." She raised herself a little, pulled down her knickers and tugged my shorts down a fraction to let my cock spring free. Areeya had come around behind my chair and she took over where Alex had left off by kissing and nibbling my ear and her hands found their way to my nipples. Alex turned around and straddled my lap to face me. She spat on my cock to give it some lubrication and eased herself onto the tip. I was desperate to get inside her, but teased me, touching the head of my cock for a few times, before she impaled herself onto my cock.

She moaned as it went deep into her and I grunted as I felt her tighten up around me. Alex moved up and down and I tried to match her movements. Areeya reached around, encircled Alex’s stiff cock with her fingers and stroked her as she rose up and down on me. Alex kissed me and then Areeya moved around and the two girls kissed right in front of me and this sent me crazy, the two people I loved most in the world were kissing in front of my nose whilst Alex rode my cock like a horse.

I felt my cock expand inside Alex and my climax travelled from my groin up through my cock and with one final huge thrust I came into Alex. She grunted and her cum spurted all over Areeya’s hand who pushed her fingers into my mouth and as I licked Alex’s cum from them, I could still feel my cock hard inside Alex. She kissed me and whispered, "Remember, a promise is a promise."

Right then, I was so spent I couldn’t have cared less what I had promised; I would have given her my right arm if she asked for it. Alex stayed on me squeezing the last drops from me and as she got up, I slipped out of her. She bent down to give my now deflating cock a kiss and a lick before kissing me one more time. She pulled up my shorts grinning, "It looks like you’re already wearing a pair of knickers."

I tried to give her a punch, but she danced out of my way. We all sat back down again, Alex gave Areeya a hug and disappeared off to the bathroom whilst Areeya came across and this time she sat on my lap. We sat there, her head on my shoulder and my arms around her waist. She gave me a kiss, "When will you call my father?"

"I was thinking about that. What would you think if I went to see him face to face?"

Areeya looked at me for a second, "I think it would be a good idea."

Alex came back, "What’s a good idea?"

"I was going to call Kritsada, but on second thoughts, I think I want to look him in the eye when I tell him. So, I think it’s best if I catch the next flight to Bangkok to see him and fly back tonight."

Alex looked uncertainly at me, "Do you think that’s necessary?"

"Alex. I think James is right. My father would appreciate hearing this face to face."

Alex still looked doubtful. "Alex, I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t think it was a good idea. I promise I will be back tonight."

She bit her lip and nodded, "OK, but call me with your flight and I can meet you at the airport."

I kissed her and then Areeya and got going. I called Kritsada’s office on the way to the airport and by the skin of my teeth got the next plane to Bangkok. Three hours later I was waiting outside Kritsada’s office anxiously waiting to see him.

He walked out of his office and warmly shook my hand, "James, welcome back, I thought you would call me but this is most welcome to see you in person. Please come through."

His office was in the corner of the building with a wraparound view of Bangkok’s downtown. We sat opposite each other at a meeting table where he had positioned himself with his back to the window, so I had to squint to see him and I smiled to myself; he couldn’t stop playing power games.

"Sir, thank you for seeing me today." He nodded in acknowledgement.

"I wanted to give you Alex’s answer and to answer any questions you may have. Alex has accepted your offer to release her from the contract you had with her, she is grateful for your generosity, as am I, and for my part I consider any debt you felt you owed me is now paid in full."

Kritsada nodded, "James, thank you for telling me in person, I like to see the face of someone when I do business with them. Please tell Alex that nothing else will be affected by her decision."

I took a deep breath. "Sir, there is one other matter I would like to discuss with you."

He looked at me and his eyes narrowed, "Yes, what is that?"

"I have decided that my future is in Thailand with Alex and Areeya. I want to become part of their business and they have offered me a role in the new venture on Samui, but I would like to be more a partner with them than merely working there. I understand that you have generously provided capital for their new venture and I want to know if I could buy out your share of that business. Of course, I would compensate you for the loss of profit on your investment by paying back your original investment plus 10%. I can make the transfer within a month if that is acceptable to you."

His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t react at all. I stayed silent; the next move would have to be his.

"I must say James, you do like to put me on the spot."

"I’m sorry sir, but I wanted to ask you this face to face."

"As it happens, James, the timing of your request is fortunate. I have another opportunity that would be of benefit with that capital. However, I don’t think that 10% is sufficient return to justify my acceptance."

My heart sank, I knew that my savings plus selling my parent’s house would cover this and give me some left over but I didn’t want to pay more than 10%.

Kritsada stayed silent, his face impassive, and then he smiled, "But there may be a way for us to come to such an agreement. I have done some background investigation on you after the attack on Cockatoo and I was impressed by the reports. You are respected and capable in your field and I already know how resourceful and persuasive you can be. Don’t be upset with my paternal concern, I wanted to make sure I knew the man living with my daughter. It leads me to believe I could use your skills in my organisation. If you would be willing to provide me from time to time some, let’s call it, consultancy services, then I would be minded to look favourably on your financial offer."

An alarm bell started to ring in my head. “What exactly would these consultancy services be, sir?”

Kritsada waved his hand in a vague gesture. "Oh, it wouldn’t be anything that your skills would not be able to deal with, and all perfectly legal, of course."

If I had been more experienced, I would have known if anyone says something’s all perfectly legal, it is probably the exact opposite.

I was so keen to get this done that I didn’t think it through, "Sir, I am sure we can come to some arrangement in that respect."

He smiled, "Excellent, shall we shake hands on this?"

I reached over and took his hand, "It’s a deal, sir."

"I think this calls for a celebration drink, how about a glass of the GlenDronach?"

So, we drank to the deal in fine Scotch whisky. I had become part owner of a ladyboy cabaret that was yet to be launched and had agreed to be a consultant of some kind to a Thai businessman with shady business practices. I had well and truly burnt my bridges.

It was on the flight back to Samui that I realised what I had committed to. I had no idea how Alex and Areeya would react to what I had done and how things would pan out, but I now had a real incentive to make the ladyboy cabaret work. I wondered what I had let myself in for by agreeing to work with Kritsada, and I had also made a promise to Alex which I knew she would hold me to. I had no idea where all this leading me, but I couldn’t wait to find out.

To Be Continued