The last two Christmases I created TG versions of famous Christmas stories trying to remain as true to the stories as I could. These were the results.

Click on the captions to make them larger.

A Christmas Carol:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2014/12/blog-post_277.html?zx=3e8...

It's A Wendy-ful Life:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/12/blog-post_74.html

Here's hoping we all have a little Ralphie in us.

https://dawngs.blogspot.com/2019/12/merry-christmas-to-all.html

Click on the captions to enlarge them.

Merry Christmas

She looked down at his terror-stricken face with a smile as she replied to her own question. "It certainly was GLOOD for me." Her latest victim could only stare until the paralyzing agent wore off.

When he had first woken up he felt like he was in a scene from Dexter. He couldn't move his body and he could barely make out the pictures of all the fat women he had ridiculed over the years at the gym taped to the wall opposite him. Then she had rolled a mirror in front of him and placed his glasses on him as he sat on the wooden floor. Clearly seeing himself for the first time he passed out.

Coming to again he was still facing the mirror and had a hard time believing what he was seeing. His beautiful toned body was gone somehow and in its place was that of a very obese woman.

"You're probably wondering what happened Darryl. Well I thought you might profit from seeing things from a different perspective and maybe gain a little understanding about the problems the women you ridicule face. So I injected your body with a soft bio-flesh mixed with GLOO. I had plaster molds attached to your body to shape you as you filled up with the bio-flesh.

You have big fleshy thighs and a large saggy butt. Your belly hangs down and your very large and sagging breasts hang down over it. Your arms are just as fleshy, even your face is full. Your genitals have been GLOOD down, not that anyone could find them under all that flesh without searching.

The GLOO has been in your body for over 72 hours. The paralytic I used on you will wear off in several hours and after that you're free to go. I even left you some clothes. Of course you'll barely be able to squeeze into them. Luckily they have a lot of spandex. I left a little bit of the solvent to unglue your fat lips. The lips themselves are already well past the 72 hours. They came out a bit redder than I intended so I'm sure they'll be noticed as you waddle down the street.

I left your apartment key and money for bus fare. The bus stop is only about ten blocks from this abandoned warehouse but I'd allow plenty of time to walk there. I guesstimate you weigh about 380 pounds and none of it is muscle or ever will be, just large masses of jiggling flesh.

You used to rag on women for not being able to lose weight. You didn't care that maybe they couldn't, no matter how hard they tried. Instead of sympathy and understanding you gave them snide remarks and harassment until they left your gym. Well no matter how hard you exercise and diet that jiggly bio-flesh is there to stay thanks to the GLOO.

If you had been nice maybe your former clients would pity you but you can expect no help from them and you know what your former friends will think. It won't make any difference that you had nothing to do with how you look, all they'll see is a fat woman just like you did.

You own the gym so you can work out all you want but I'm betting you will have a hard time enduring the taunts and stares from everyone. It won't surprise me if you find solace in eating and get even fatter and then try to diet getting caught in the endless cycle. You'll wish you'd been more sympathetic to the women whose money you took and then chased out of your gym."

With that she she turned and walked out the door. As soon as she was outside she used the solvent to remove the latex mask that covered his face. Darryl would never know it was a man that did this too him, a man who had lost his girlfriend to suicide after being brutally harassed by Darryl.

He'd thought about killing him and wondered if Darryl would kill himself too. He was willing to bet he was too much of a coward to do that.

Darryl was the last of the people who had made his girlfriend's life hell. Inside Trish's large body had been a sweet and wonderful woman crushed by the taunts and jibes of people who should have been helping her like Rachel. Rachel was now a very fat woman too and her former friends treated her like they had his girlfriend. The others were just mean but Rachel had pretended to be Trish's friend while cutting her down behind her back.

There were others, people who hadn't hurt Trish but hurt others like the Uber driver who kicked fat women out of his car so he could pick up sexy women. Now he couldn't even fit behind the wheel of a car with his gigantic breasts. Or the plastic surgeon who screwed up several women's lives but didn't care. He looked like a plastic surgeon's nightmare with saggy breasts and a face full of artificial scar tissue he couldn't remove.

He wasn't sure who was next but there was always somebody out there that needed something GLOOD in their life and he'd be happy to give it to them.

"Why is your husband still in that kinky French maid's uniform? The Halloween party was over a week ago?"
"Well I may have made a few changes to the instructions for the GLOO, not that my husband was ever any good at following instructions anyway."
"So what did you do?"
"Well, you know how it says if the GLOO is not removed before 72 hours that it permanently bonds and would require mutilating surgery to remove?
"You mean he still hasn't removed everything?"
"I may have told him that you couldn't use the solvent until AFTER 72 hours had passed or risk mutilating surgery. It was an honest mistake. I just got things reversed and by the time I realized it, it was too late."
"Why don't I believe you."
" It's a good thing I bought the highest quality prostheses including the female mask, all designed for long term wear. Why he can still perform his bodily functions though he has to sit down to do it. No more raised toilet seat."
"So why is he still dressed like the maid?"
"He's so embarrassed, he doesn't want anyone to know it's him so he's pretending to be my maid. That and the fact that I put some GLOO in the locks on the dress. It's a good thing I make enough for both of us so he can be the maid permanently. I told everyone my husband ran off with my best friend. Funny thing is that's exactly what he planned to do so no-one will miss either of them."
"What about your best friend? Won't she get suspicious?"
"Well I admit I helped her with her costume for Halloween too. You do remember the Saint Bernard don't you?"
"You mean?"
"Yes she's out in the kennel now. She's kind of busy because I bought a Great Dane to keep the bitch company and he thinks she's in heat."

For those of you who enjoyed the story here, now you can add it to your library. A portion of the proceeds of any sales will go to BC.

Joe Ivy who had been recently found not guilty by an all male jury of the date rape of Cindy Barnes was found dazed and confused on a street corner normally habituated by sex workers. He was found to have very large breasts glued on and his penis had been pulled back and glued so he would be unable to use it for sex.

He had no memory of the last three days and it is rumored that the glue used was the recent popular GLOO which permanently bonds after 72 hours meaning that the breasts can't be removed without surgery nor can his penis be freed.

This seems to be the latest vigilante action by a group calling themselves members of The GLOOrious Revolution. The alarming rise in such incidents has prompted politicians (all male) to call for the banning of the sale of GLOO. There has also been a run on the solvent used to remove anything that has been GLOOD with prices on eBay and Craig's List running many times the regular price. The company says it cannot keep pace with the demand as the solvent is much more difficult to manufacture than the GLOO itself.

GLOO Industries reported their main warehouse was burglarized over the weekend and their entire inventory stolen after the government banned sales and moved to destroy the existing stocks. The GLOOrious Revolution has taken credit for the theft and warns that justice will be meted out to all males who sexually harass or harm women.

Reports are already coming in from all over the country and men are being extra careful not to be caught anywhere alone. The President's security detail has been doubled as a precaution.

It has also been discovered that GLOO industries has been unable to manufacture any more solvent as the chemical used were contaminated at the same time as the theft. Hospitals are requesting that anyone having solvent to please donate it as they are beginning to be deluged with men having appliances or clothes attached. Without solvent most of these men are running out of time before their condition becomes permanent.

Men are also seeking the protection of women when going out in public and employers are working to be certified as free from sexual harrassment. Strip clubs reportedly are closing all over the country though a few have reopened with men who have been GLOOD dancing in place of real women.

Judges are handing down harsher sentences in cases of rape or other crimes against women after several judges who handed out light sentences were found permanently dressed as little girls.

The GLOOrious Revolution Party is poised to take over many state legislatures as most current male politicians have opted to retire and males are afraid to run. Many women are running on the slogan 'Women stick together' and 'Boobs for boobs,' referring to proposed legislation that all men have their own breasts permanently GLOOD on. Bra sales have skyrocketed as stock in companies manufacturing female undergarments are seeing a their shares skyrocket in value.

The President says that the Revolution has triumphed and urges the more radical members to stop their vigilante actions after the former President was found with a GLOOD pussy saying it is time for the nation to heal.

"GLOO has bonded us together to become a better nation."

In other news the Russin Prime Minister has disappeared and rumors abound that he was found GLOOD and spirited away so that the press would not find out.

A mother and son must go into hiding from her husband's killers. The government has a way to throw the killers off the scent. Will it work?

Click on the link to go to the captions and then click on the captions to make them larger

In hiding 1:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/12/blog-post_56.html?zx=f02f...

In hiding 2:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/01/blog-post_90.html?zx=2c9c...

In Hiding 3:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/01/blog-post_79.html?zx=4b6a...

In Hiding 4:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/01/blog-post_27.html?zx=d15a...

In Hiding 5:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/01/blog-post_76.html?zx=b24e...

A mother and son must go into hiding from her husband's killers. The government has a way to throw the killers off the scent. Will it work?

Click on the link to go to the captions and then click on the captions to make them larger.

In Hiding 6:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/02/blog-post_28.html

In hiding 7:
28.htmlhttp://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/02/blog-post_68.html?zx=5b8c...

In Hiding 8:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/02/blog-post_44.html?zx=c8fe...

In Hiding 9:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/02/blog-post_75.html?zx=2c06...

In Hiding 10:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/03/blog-post_2.html?zx=b6290...

In Hiding 11:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/03/blog-post_46.html?zx=2bdd...

A mother and son must go into hiding from her husband's killers. The government has a way to throw the killers off the scent. Will it work?

Click on the link to go to the captions and then click on the captions to make them larger.

In hiding 12:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/03/blog-post_60.html

In hiding 13:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/03/blog-post_64.html

In hiding 14:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/03/blog-post_50.html

In hiding 15:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/04/blog-post_22.html

In hiding 16:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/04/blog-post_92.html

In hiding 17 - Finale:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2016/04/blog-post_62.html

     'Mad Dog' Jansen stomped down the polluted beach, kicking driftwood and whatever else got in his way with his size 14 combat boots. He smiled for a moment at the memory of how that pansy quarterback for the Saints had looked after he'd 'accidentally' snapped his throwing arm, the pain in his eyes before he'd passed out. It had been a clean hit but Jansen knew he'd angled himself to inflict the maximum amount of damage.

     The ref couldn't say anything and the other team were too concerned about their fallen leader to go after him right then. When he came back to the sideline the coach told him to hit the showers as he didn't want a war on his hands when the other team came to its senses. Jansen knew the coach would really rather send him packing but the owner had personally signed him and most of the other renegade players that made up the highly successful but despised team.

So Jansen found himself killing time before the plane ride back to the west coast. Time was his enemy, it reminded him that he was away from the only thing that brought him any satisfaction. There was no way he could take the heels and dresses on the road. One whiff of his predeliction and his career would be over. He remembered the last time that had happened nearly fifteen years ago.

     He'd been 15 and puberty had been slow to arrive. He'd always loved women's clothes but he was totally enamored of Marilyn Monroe and he'd convinced his mom to let him dress up as her that Halloween. He remembered the white dress they'd found at the thrift shop and the long blond wig his mom borrowed from the beauty shop. That was the good part of the memory. He also remembered what happened when he'd appeared in school.

     The girls laughed and the boys flipped up his dress and howled when they saw he was wearing panties. Then one of the girls recognized the costume. She'd seen "The Seven-Year Itch" and told the guys that Jansen was trying to be Marilyn Monroe but there was a major problem with his costume, Marilyn wasn't wearing panties when she wore that white dress. The guys rectified that despite his struggles and for the rest of the day whenever the teachers weren't looking someone would flip up his dress until he couldn't take it any longer and ran home. He vowed never to dress up again. He also vowed revenge on his tormentors.

     The next year his mom married a football coach and they moved to another school district. He changed his last name to match his new step-dad and when puberty hit him and he bulked out his step-dad taught him the game. He found he had a talent for the game and it allowed him to get back at all the guys that had made fun of him. His team crushed the team from his former school and he personally sent two of his tormentors to the bench.

     He sought out the girl who'd humiliated him and with the help of a little date rape drug he used her and left her - minus her panties in front of his old school. That was a mistake, the feel of the panties aroused old feelings in him, ones he'd fought so hard to suppress. He began to dress again but found his new bulk made it nearly impossible to find anything to fit him. It wasn't until he'd made the pros that he could have things custom made and sent to a PO box under an assumed name.

     So here he was stuck on a dingy beach while his wardrobe was a couple of thousand miles away. He looked at his boots and wished they were the 5 inch stiletto's back at his apartment. And while looking at them he spotted a pretty bottle stuck in a pile of sludge. The pain returned and he took it out on the nearest object - the bottle.

     He crushed it under his foot and nearly fell over when a woman appeared in front of him picking glass out of her clothes and hair and trying vainly to remove the sludge. She gave the mortal who'd freed her a dirty look but was compelled to offer him his wish.

     Jansen wasn't sure whether to believe her but figured it was his one chance to get what he finally wanted and made his wish.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     Later back in his hotel room he stood in front of the mirror and waited for the change to occur that the genie promised him. As he did so he realized he was changing and there in front of him was Marilyn, in a stunning chartreuse Pucci dress.

     Wait - he recognized that dress! It was the one Marilyn was wearing at her funeral!

     And as he looked he realized the changes were continuing as the flesh sloughed off his body and the dress began to deteriorate until only the corporeal remains of his desire were left. His last thought before his body crumbled to the carpet was that he had gotten his wish; he looked just like Marilyn did - now!

Note: The title comes from a quote attributed to Marilyn Monroe:

     Hollywood is a place where they'll pay you a thousand dollars for a kiss and fifty cents for your soul.

And we learn even the 'literal genie' can't resist a peek.

Alec McFarland marched along the beach, playing the pipes
in full regalia. Actually he hadn't planned on practicing
out here in the middle of nowhere but his flatmates had
suggested he get some fresh air. Actually they had bodily
tossed him from the flat muttering dire threats about where
his pipes might end up if he didn't practice elsewhere. So
Alec marched along the shore thinking about Timothy
O'Shea.

Now Alec loved women; he loved the clothes they wore, the
way they smelled and the way they looked. But he loved
Timmy more and his greatest wish in life was to find his
way to Timmy's heart. But alas, Timmy only had eyes for the
lassies and this painful thought caused Alec to produce
the most awful wailing note from his pipes. So painful was
that note that fish popped out of the water and lay dead on
the surface and right in front of him an old bottle
fractured into thousands of pieces, sending the stopper
shooting ten feet into the air.

Then, before Alec's astonished eyes, appeared a genie with
hair standing straight out and holding her fingers in her
ears for dear life. The genie looked about and cautiously
removed her fingers from her ears, but remained poised to
instantly replace them if necessary. She regarded Alec
with a jaundiced eye.

"Was it you produced that awful caterwauling?" she asked.

"Aye, miss. I'm sorry if I disturbed you, " the apologetic
Alec replied. "The pipes got away from me."

"You humans certainly find unique ways to free me from the
bottle. Can't any of you just pull out the stopper like it
was intended? No matter. You are entitled to one wish for
freeing me so get on with it, I have a major house repair
to begin."

Alec thought, "Here's my golden opportunity" and said, "I
wish I were a lassie with long golden blond hair and that I
could love Timmy forever."

"So it is spoken…" The Genie paused while Alec stood there
frozen. She lifted up the front of his kilt. "Aha! Just as
I suspected." she said, then completed the phrase, "So
shall it be done!"

--------------------------------Later-----------------------------------------

"Timmy, time for dinner," called out his mom.

Timmy yelled for Lassie, "C'mon girl time to eat."

Alec shook his coat and scampered after Timmy.

"Cut, " yelled the director and then turned on the dog's
trainer. "I know we're using a male dog because they're
easier to train but could you please stop Lassie from
trying to hump Timmy's leg every time they're alone!"

The 'literal genie' is a triple threat

The three crossdressers had found a deserted beach where
they could wear their women's bathing suits without being
laughed at. Wandering along the shore they espied a bottle
and each grabbed for it. In the ensuing catfight the
stopper got pulled and the requisite beautiful genie
appeared.

"Who freed me," she asked?

"I did, I did! "all three exclaimed.

"Well, normally one of you would get a wish but since
you all claim to have freed me I'll give you each one."

Fred, a burly construction worker thought for a moment and
said, "I want to be a woman with a nice pair of hooters."

"So it is spoken, so shall it be," and Fred disappeared.

Bill, a horny teenager, said, "I want to be a woman with a
cute pussy."

"So it is spoken, so shall it be," and Bill disappeared.

Vinnie made his wish and also disappeared.

---------------Later --------------------------------------

The heavyset woman answered the door and invited the young
teenage girl in.

Billie stared at the woman with the two big owls on her
shoulders and scratched behind the ear of the kitten she
carried everywhere and exclaimed, "Guess we got what we
wished for!"

"Yeah," whined Fredrika, "I wonder what Vinnie wished
for?"

The doorbell rang.

"That must be Vinnie now," and they opened the door.

A nondescript olive-complected woman with the start of a
mustache gaped at the two of them.

"You too, eh?" the former Vinnie said.

"Yeah guess we should have made our wishes a little
clearer." said the older woman. "But what did you wish
for?"

Just then an enormous braying sound came from outside the
door.

"Oh."

The 'literal genie' takes this wish for a spin.

He dangled his line of the end of the pier as the tide came
in hoping to catch the night's dinner when the hook snagged
on something. He tugged and tugged and finally the hook
came free. He pulled up the line to find his hook firmly
embedded in a cork. The next moment a thoroughly wet but
beautiful genie appeared before him.

"Don't you know you're supposed to open the bottle on dry
land." she exclaimed. "Well, get on with it make your wish
so I can get into some dry clothes will you!"

The lonely fisherman thought a bit as the genie stood
impatiently.

"I'd like to be a beautiful model with a sleek body that
would be admired and coveted by men as well as women." he
wished.

"So it is spoken, so shall it be." intoned the shivering
genie.

And the old man disappeared.

------------------------Later-------------------------------

"Can I help you sir?" the salesman asked.

"Yes, I'm interested in that beautiful new 'vette in your
showroom window."

"Ah yes the latest model, she's been really attracting
attention. She's a special edition, one of a kind."

Avast there! Why wait a year for a challenge? This was one of my 'literal genie' shorts and goes with the theme of the day.

Roger had just come back from seeing "Pirates of the Caribbean" for the 10th time. Enamored of the dashing life of a swashbuckling pirate captain so unlike his own drab existence he walked under the boardwalk and stared out over the waves. Not paying attention he tripped over something lying in the sand. A bottle. He looked about for a trash can when he noticed a glow from inside the bottle.

"Holy Moses! hope this isn't some radioactive stuff, " and was about to toss it back into the sea when he lost his grip and the bottle went flying, leaving him holding just the stopper.

"Radioactive stuff indeed," sniffed the genie who suddenly materialized before him. "Don't you recognize a magic bottle when you see one?"

"Can't say that I have. Yours is the first one I've come across."

"Well despite that fact you were about to fling me back you did technically free me so make your wish," the exasperated genie replied.

Roger thought about his dream of being a dashing pirate and excitedly said, "I want to be a pirate captain, with a fast ship, a big chest and lots of booty!"

"So it is spoken, so shall it be." said the genie, with just the hint of a giggle.

--------------------------Later--------------------------------------------------

"Captain, captain, we've sighted a merchant ship, " shouted the lookout.

The captain swung about and his enormous breasts nearly bowled the first mate over. The ship's boy wasn't nearly as lucky as the captain's huge ass knocked him flying.

"How many times have I told you boy, keep your wits about you!" shouted the captain as his top and bottom quivered like bowls of pudding. The lavish dress he wore covered a shape Rubens would envy and was feared over the seven seas. But his crew loved him and Roger got his jollies where he could.

     Tyler Spence was an enigma, a blond, blue-eyed ruggedly handsome man the women loved but couldn't snare. Not that he was a player, just the opposite. Women found him a consummate and considerate sexual partner but never a lover. The perfect gentleman he never made promises he didn't keep and never bragged about his liaisons. The women talked about him though and his apparent disinterest in a long-term relationship didn't stop them from trying. Each was sure that she would be the one to turn his head AND his heart.
     A marine biologist by trade, he also loved his work. At the moment it involved the eating habits of the great white. He often went down in a cage or more often diving to observe a shark while feeding and the foundation that employed him made extra income from the vivid film he shot. His appearances on those 'Wild Kingdom' type shows brought him a new legion of fans both male and female.
     Today, however, he was involved in one of the more unsavory parts of his job. A great white had been captured off the coast and he was here to investigate the stomach contents. Not one of his favorite parts but necessary if he was to better understand this eating machine.
     Tyler took his knife and carefully slit the belly and the contents of the stomach poured out onto the stainless steel table. Bits and pieces of a variety of fish were photographed to help chart where the great white had been. There was also a lot of refuse for the shark was a great garbage collector.
     Amid the offal Spencer spotted a grime encrusted old bottle. It was ornate with designs and a stopper that begged to be opened. Now, normally Tyler would take the item, clean it off and then open it but instead, in a manner uncharacteristic of him he pulled the stopper out amidst the blood and guts. It was as if he were too impatient to wait. And he didn't seem too surprised when a genie appeared. And boy was she steamed!
     "How dare you subject me to this . . . this pool of slime and rot! It'll take years to get the smell out of my bottle. And look what you've done to my clothes and hair!"
     Despite her ire the genie was compelled to offer the mortal who had released her a wish.
     Tyler with a leer spread across his face said, "I'd like to be able to get into Jessica Simpson's pants anytime I want!"
     The genie looked at this obviously macho pig and with an evil grin said, "So it is spoken so let it be done!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

     Tyler looked in the mirror at a female twin of himself and a wide grin spread across his face. He took off the jeans he was wearing and sure enough the label said 'Jessica Simpson collection.' The genie was right, he was now able to get into Jessica's pants anytime he wanted!
     All the women who'd loved him didn't realize he was enamored of them because he wanted to be them! And now he'd finally got his wish. It had gone against the grain to subject the genie to the treatment he did. He knew she'd be very angry and though it pained him to cause her such grief the result was worth it.
     She recalled one of her favorite movies and paraphrasing General Patton's words said to herself, "You magnificent bitch, "I read your stories!"

Bob's anger and disappointment built as he moved about the prop room cleaning and dusting the myriad items that had graced the stage over the past 30 years. A stage, it appeared, that would never be graced by his presence.

she popped the cork off the bottle once more and prayed as she did at every performance for the genie to re-appear. The crowd thought her little speech impediment when she got excited was cute. Bobbi saw it as the curse that kept her dancing on the stage with her male appendage firmly hidden beneath a gaff, acknowledging the crowd's hoots and whistles for the best 'thong and dance' man in the world.

The "Literal Genie's" work is neverending, and sometimes things aren't what they appear to be.

He had just come back from Vegas and was wandering the
shore of his small beachfront home when out of the corner
of his eye he saw it. A flash of light on a piece of glass.
He strolled over to where he saw the flash and saw a bottle
nearly buried in the sand.

"Damn tourists and their littering , " he grumbled and dug
the bottle out. It was old and still had a cork in it. He
yanked on the cork and fell to the ground as a beautiful
genie materialized before him.

"For freeing me your fondest wish shall be granted," said
the genie.

"Hmmm, I'd like to have the body of the beautiful woman I
saw on stage in Vegas last week. I don't know her name
because I wandered into her show late by accident, but she
had a beautiful body and could sing too," he asked
hopefully.

"Picture her in your mind and I shall give you her body as
you wish. " said the genie.

He remembered how she looked up there on the stage.

-------------------------Later-----------------------------

He was in his living room in a spangled gown and
looking in the mirror saw a reflection of the girl he had
imagined.

"Great," he said as he placed his hands on his new bosom
and began to feel - nothing!

"What!" he yelped, " these tits are nothing but silicon
falsies!!"

"Guess she was flat chested"

He lifted the gown and reached between his legs, and instead
of the pussy he expected, found a cock.

"You promised me," he raged!

A flier appeared out of the middle of nowhere and fell to
the floor. He picked it up and saw a picture of the
beautiful woman he had become.

The flier said, "Come see Linda, The Greatest Female
Impersonator in Vegas - three nights only"

I've been making captions for the past three years (4500+). They are really short stories and one-offs but I have done a few multi-caption stories and decided to try posting them here starting with Not Another Word ( links to the caps because they are too big to post here).

Not Another Word is by far the most most popular series and originally started as a one-off but readers of my blog asked for more and it turned into a much longer story. I will post links to the captions in order, five at a time, a couple of times a week. The story is complete and those who can't wait can find all the rest on my blog. Clicking on the caption will make it larger.

Not another word 1:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/08/one-picture-three-stories...

Not another word 2:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-post_70.html

Not another word 3:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-post_96.html

Not another word 4:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-post_94.html

Not another word 5:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/08/blog-post_66.html

Tommie's trials continue as things seem to go from bad to worse.

Not another word 6:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_75.html

Not another word 7:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_95.html

Not another word 8:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_99.html

Not another word 9:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_42.html

Not another word 10
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_50.html

Can Tommie adjust to Tonya's new life? Time to go to school.

Not another word 11:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_43.html?zx=a811...

Not another word 12:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_67.html?zx=e03c...

Not another word 13:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_86.html?zx=f55a...

Not another word 14:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/09/blog-post_79.html?zx=32c1...

Not another word 15:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_14.html?zx=e15f...

The truth comes out and Tonya tries to move on.

Not another word 16:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_79.html

Not another word 17:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_64.html

Not another word 18:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_95.html

Not another word 19:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_28.html

Not another word 20:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_75.html

Tommie is trying to get Brad out of her mind. Can she?

Not another word 21:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_43.html?zx=21ba...

Not another word 22:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-post_47.html?zx=8d61...

Not another word 23:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post.html?zx=33bd457...

Not another word 24:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post_97.html?zx=9e4c...

Not another word 25:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post_90.html?zx=6aaf...

It's time to resolve things between Tommie and Brad.

Not another word 26:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post_57.html?zx=acd8...

Not another word 27:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post_0.html?zx=30512...

Not another word 28:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post_58.html?zx=e81c...

Not another word 29:

http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post_49.html?zx=458f...

Not another word 30:
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/blog-post_79.html?zx=b32e...

Not another word 31 (The End):
http://dawngs.blogspot.com/2015/11/not-another-word-end-rest...

I'd heard about her within minutes of coming to work my first day, 'watch out, there's one of them tranny perverts working here.' The guy whispered it like saying it out loud might make her appear. Just what I needed on my first day, a redneck lout proving his ignorance. I wonder what he'd be saying about the Jersey wop behind my back once he found out my last name.

While I'd been to Tampa many times to visit my mother, I'd never stayed more than a week, often just a long weekend. When dad died I'd tried to get her to move back up north with me but she said she had way too many friends to leave. Besides why would she want to go back to the snow and cold? No, she was perfectly happy here in her own home.

When she became ill I didn't have the heart to move her away from her friends. So I moved in with her. The company was more than willing to let me transfer. There was a lot more money in Florida than New Jersey and I was very good at making my clients money.

I hired a live-in nurse but mom's face always lit up when I came home. I spent evenings with her just talking. After all I didn't know how long I'd have with her. Mom liked having me there but told me I needed to get out and have a life besides talking to an old lady every night.

I'd been working in Tampa for nearly six months before I ran into Christina. I had a late appointment with a client and rather than drive home and back into town to meet him I'd just stayed. Getting hungry I decided to make a quick trip to Brocato's for a cuban sandwich. They had nothing like it in Jersey.

There was only one other car in the parking lot and it wasn't going anywhere. Someone had slashed all four tires and the car had sunk to the rims. Leaning against it and softly sobbing was a woman I'd never seen.

Careful not to spook her I stopped about ten feet away. I noticed her reaching into her purse and suspected she might have pepper spray or, this being Florida, maybe a gun.

"I'm sorry miss but I work here. We can go inside and call someone to fix your tires if you like. my name is Tony, Tony Falzone."

"Yes, I know who you are. I've written several analyses for you."

"You, you're C. Bowman?"

"What, you expected some guy with a pocket protector and glasses with tape in the middle?"

Obviously this woman was on the defensive and then I realized she must be the 'tranny pervert' I'd been warned about.

"Not at all, I'm just shocked that I haven't met you sooner. I wasn't aware you worked in the building. I thought you were based in California."

"I was until necessity required a transfer here. Believe me, this is the last place I wanted to be."

"Florida is nothing like California is it. Nothing like New Jersey either. Surely though, you don't want to stand out here all night. I was heading to Brocato's for something to eat before meeting a client. Why don't you join me. You can call a towing service and have them replace the tires while we eat."

She looked at me quizzically, obviously trying to discern my motive. I guess in her position I might do the same. I didn't attempt to do anything more than wait as she mulled over my offer. After what seemed like several minutes but was probably less than one she shrugged and said okay.

I directed her to my car, not that it wasn't fairly obvious, being the only other one in the lot. I think she was surprised when I opened the door for her to get in before going round the other side.

She was quiet during the short trip, using the time to fix her face. It was a nice face and looked nicer after repairing her makeup.

Chapter 2
I had recovered somewhat from my emotional breakdown. The endocrinologist had warned me that the hormones would affect my feelings and behavior. I'm sure a few months ago I probably would have been kicking tires and swearing a blue streak. It was embarrassing to find myself like that in front of another man. I corrected myself. It wasn't another man because I wasn't one. It was difficult sometimes to remember. A lifetime of being treated as and expecting to respond as a male is not easy to overcome. It's like a robot fighting to be free of its programming and become human. My therapist would probably have a lot to say about that if she were here. I missed her quiet manner and honest appraisals. Phone conversations were just not the same. She had encouraged me to find a therapist locally.

At least the man who came up to me wasn't one of the many who hated me for no reason other than I was trying to live life as who I really was. I'd waited until I thought everyone had left before going to my car only to discover I wasn't going anywhere. It's why I never drove to work after the first week. Once my car had been identified the vandalism had begun. So I took the bus. I lived right off a bus route and there was a stop almost directly in front of the office building.

This morning I had an important appointment and was forced to take my car. When I came out I realized I should have taken the extra time to go home and take the bus. Whining after the fact wasn't going to get my car fixed. Thinking about fixing things I worked on fixing my face as Tony drove us to Brocato's.

I told Tony I needed to call AAA and have them send someone out. The lady I reached was very nice but informed me it might be a couple of hours, especially when I told her all four tires needed to be replaced. She informed me there would be a surcharge as I had exceeded the limit on calls for the year. Tony must have seen my face as he asked for my phone. I wondered why as he introduced himself to the lady.

Apparently he was a long time platinum member and asked that his new fiance's repairs be charged to his AAA account. He thanked the lady for her help as he handed back the phone and the woman on the line assured me they would have my tires replaced within the hour. She also congratulated me on my engagement. The bastard just grinned at me.

I opened the door and got out of the car before I said something I'd regret. I know he was just being helpful and that it didn't cost him anything but a little lie but the impact of those words went far beyond his expectations. He thought it was funny, pulling the wool over the rep's eyes. But hearing those words hurt. His fiance'! He had no idea of the dreams and hopes I had and he'd made a joke of them. I knew he didn't do it to hurt me. He did it to help me, but it was like throwing me a rope - with an anchor attached!

I'd obviously done or said something wrong. As a salesperson I was trained to notice small changes in a person's behavior, to see whether the approach I was taking was working. In Christina's case it wasn't. I just had no idea what it was I'd done to upset her. I'd seen her tense up and sensed she might even start crying again and I had absolutely no clue as to why. Was she one of those women who hated dishonesty in a man? Or did she find my flirty exchange with the woman from triple A to be a bit too much?

I rushed to catch up with her as she hurried into the sandwich shop only for her to come to a dead stop. The place was packed. I don't know why I was surprised but Christina definitely was and turning, almost in a panic, ran straight back into me.

I grabbed her to keep her from falling and felt her two soft breasts crushed against my chest. I had to admit it felt good. I hadn't gone out or had any real personal contact with a woman since I'd been in town. I was no playboy but I'd been with a number of women and Christina felt just like one of them, all soft and round in the right places.

I could feel her shudder and knew she was scared, whether it was of me or something else. I also knew I was reluctant to let her go. It felt like she belonged there in my arms. I knew the people around us were staring and I did the only thing I could think of to stop them. I put my hand under her chin and lifted her face up and kissed her.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see the stares turn to smiles as they turned their attention back to what they'd been doing. I turned my attention to what I was doing.

Christina's eyes had widened in shock and then they closed. She had gone stiff in my arms and then just melted against me. We fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and I could feel at first a tentative reaction of her lips as they parted just a bit and my tongue quickly sought that opening. I felt her hands reach behind me and pull me closer to her.

It slowly sank in that we were in public and my actions that had been designed to divert attention were now doing just the opposite. She must have sensed my hesitation because suddenly she broke the kiss and pushed me away.

I didn't have much experience, and most had been fumbling around with girls when I still thought I was a boy. So while I was telling myself no,no, my lips were saying yes, yes. I'm sure my look was more likely 'deer gets hit by car' than 'deer in the headlights.'

I pulled back to lick my wounds the moment he hesitated. He was licking his lips and smiling down at me. He still hadn't let go and I knew I'd look a fool if I struggled in his grasp. I slowly backed away as he relented and released his hold.

I felt like I'd been punched in the gut by Rocky and wanted to shout, 'won't be a rematch' except that something else was poking me in the gut telling me he definitely wanted one! I think my nipples were boring holes through my bra but another part of my anatomy painfully reminded me that I didn't have the place his unguided missile was seeking to find. I was embarrassed for him and for what I'd done to him. And, yes, a tiny part of me was proud I could elicit such a reaction. I just wish it hadn't been in the middle of a crowd!

While I'm sure it had only been moments the loud cough from the man behind Tony and his asking if we were going in or going out triggered the missile's self-destruct mechanism and it was now safe to step aside to let the man and his girlfriend through.

Tony placed his hand in the small of my back and guided me into the shop with him. I'm sure the women in the shop were wondering who the tart was wearing so much blush. But he wasn't going to let me turn and run again. It was subtle but his hand guided me to an empty table he spotted - right in the middle of the room.

Despite being over a year into my Real Life Test this was the first time someone had actually pulled out a chair and seated me. The clowns in the office were more likely to pull it out from under me. Not that there was a ghost of a chance that they'd ever be seen with me. Tony had no qualms yet I was sure he knew who I was. Everyone knew the 'woman' in the corner office though that was the last word they'd ever use.

I was doing it again. My therapist had worked with me to stop doing their work for them but when stressed, and boy was I stressed, I started in on myself.

I don't know what possessed me to kiss a complete stranger and my involuntary reaction to being in close contact for the first time in months with a woman surprised me and shocked her. I appreciated that she didn't pull away and leave my embarrassment on show for everyone. She asked if she made me uncomfortable and apologized profusely. I didn't understand why until it finally hit me, she was concerned about me going off about kissing a guy. I don't think she'll believe me but I tell her anyway, I kissed a woman. It was as simple and complicated as that.

All I could say is my brain, my lips and my body said it was a woman that kissed me back. I had no doubt of that. It was a sign of how badly she was treated at the office that she automatically assumed I would be no different than them.

I needed to bring her and myself back down to earth so I summoned the waiter to take our order. I asked if it was alright if I ordered for her. She smiled. I think a lot of other women might have been insulted even though I asked and didn't tell. And there it was. Other women. Christina worried that I thought about her as a transexual, a woman in a man's body. Well, she was wrong. She was just a woman. Maybe she had a birth defect but that wasn't the point, she resonated woman and I was responding to that.

I looked up and the waiter was patiently waiting. I apologized and ordered a couple of regular cuban sandwiches, pressed and cuban toast. As I still had a client meeting tonight I had iced tea but suggested Christina might want something stronger. She just said to bring her iced tea too. She told me she didn't want to drive home with liquor on her breath.

Tony didn't understand so I told him. The local cops weren't any better than the people at work and I didn't want any trouble like the last time when one of my coworkers broke a taillight on my car and caused me to get stopped.

I think the cop would have treated an escaped axe murderer better than he treated me. The moment he saw my license with the M on it and he looked down at me I knew I was in trouble. Having been warned about something like this online I had immediately taken my phone out of my purse at the same time I had taken out my wallet. I turned it on record and informed the officer that I was taping everything. Of course he wanted to take my phone and I recited the law about illegal search and seizure and asked why he wanted my phone. He had no real answer for that or perhaps felt he better not say.

Tony looked at me like I had two heads. I guess it was finally sinking in just who he had gotten himself mixed up with. Turns out he was looking behind me at someone else, our boss and his wife. I don't think he knew who I was as I had my back to him but I recognized his voice. I prayed Tony would be able to fend him off without him realizing who he was with. My hopes were dashed when Dan said he was sure I was exaggerating things. I barely kept my temper in check when Tony said he doubted that.

"I suppose that fact that she came out to find all four of her tires slashed is an exaggeration too. It's sickening that you let this go on."

"Me? What's this got to do with me. I can't help it if others have a problem with his perversion."

I thought Tony was going to get up and slug the man when I heard another voice.

"Is this the way you treat a valued employee Dan? Perversion? It's you and those yahoos who work for you that are perverted. I expect you to see that the company's insurance pays for the damage. If not, you call me young lady and I'll make sure a check is issued for the damages directly from the company."

The woman handed me her card.

Mom always told me I had a hot Italian temper like pop and I'd been on the receiving end of a lot of lectures and other less pleasant punishments for letting it get away from me. Despite that it was all I could do to not up and deck him when he said 'his perversion.' I was brought up short by Christina and he was brought to heel by his wife with just a few words.

I felt bad that Christina was willing to take his abuse and surprised when she grabbed my hand to keep me from jumping up. Obviously this wasn't the first time she'd had to deal with him. And he was probably just one of many. I still wanted to knock his block off but I suspected he was going to get much worse from his wife.

I also wondered which way it would go when we returned to the office. A lot of men would take out their anger on someone like Christina as they couldn't take it out on their wives. I suspected there was a pretty strict prenup. I wouldn't find out how strict until later when Christina told me what happened.

I wondered who the hell she was until Christina showed me Tanya's business card. Dan's last name was Rivers so his wife must have kept her maiden name. I probably never would have known his wife was also his boss and one of the richest women in the Tampa Bay area if I hadn't met Christina.

Our sandwiches arrived and we could devote our attention to something more pleasing. I watched as she took her first bite. It was as dainty as the rest of her though the small moan that escaped her throat wasn't. I was happy that she was getting some pleasure out of this evening.

I was in no hurry for this to end and it was probably the slowest I'd eaten since mom tried to get me to eat asparagus when I was a kid. I got wise fast that the sooner you ate it the sooner it was over. Tonight I had a completely different reason to slow down.

I'd never had a man treat me like Tony has. I was totally crushing on him. My niece would have a field day if she heard me say that. It still amazed me that she totally accepted me. I know she missed her mom and dad and then to have a woman like me come to take care of her.
When Social Services wanted to put her in a foster home rather than let her stay with the likes of me she had actually gone to her parents' lawyer and got herself emancipated. I figured she'd live by herself now but she wanted me to stay and Social Services couldn't say a damned thing. My sister would have been proud of her. Then again my sister had been my biggest supporter even though we'd been a continent apart.

I must have missed Tony's question, lost in thought, as he lightly touched my hand to get my attention. The waiter was asking if I wanted dessert. I told him no but to bring me the check. Tony wanted to pay but I was adamant and he was gracious enough not to argue. It was the least I could do after all he'd done for me.

Thinking about Jessica, reminded me to text her and ask if she wanted me to bring her back something even though it would be late. Her answer came back quickly. A big yes in caps and her order. The waiter was probably going to hate me as I flagged him down to add the to-go order. It also gave me a little more time to talk to Tony before we left.

At first I was surprised when she put in the order to go after passing on dessert. Then she explained it was for her niece. I wondered who she had texted. I looked at the time and hoped her car would be fixed in time. There was no way I was leaving her alone. The triple A guy might be ok and then again he might not.

I debated cancelling my appointment. My client was hot to trot and I had some good suggestions, some via the woman across from me. Perhaps I could take her with to explain some of the investments. I must have said that out loud because she said I was nuts. I thought it was because she thought she might be read. I was dead wrong. She thought my client would disparage my suggestions if they came from a woman. She might be right. A lot of my clients and potential clients were old school, married with trophy wives.

I wonder if I had known C. Bowman was a woman from the outset would I have treated the recommendations she gave the same way? I hoped not but the investment world was still pretty much an old boys club and it's hard not to go along.

My ruminations were cut short by my phone. It seems triple A had come through and all four tires had been replaced. He asked what to do with the old ones. I told him to take them. I was sure he could make a few bucks off the rims. I also took note of the garage he worked for in case I needed any work done on my car.

I hung up to find her glaring at me and had no clue. She wasted no time in telling me why.

He had some nerve, telling the guy to keep my old tires and rims. It's not that I wouldn't have done the exact same thing. It was his assuming he knew what was best for me. In a way I was flattered by his treating me like he probably would any other woman but I couldn't let him get the idea that he could make decisions for me just because I was one.

Look at me, treating him just like a new boyfriend who needs to know I'm not some possession or the little woman type either. I was torn between angrily shouting and laughing at his presumption. I was brought up short when he reminded me that the four new tires hadn't cost me a dime, being covered under his plan. Way to take the wind out of a girl's sails.

I had to step back and remember this was my white knight and I was being ungrateful in my vanity. I was just so defensive about how others treated me that I had automatically reacted as if he was one of the yahoos from work.

I apologized for my attitude. He didn't deserve to be upbraided for something I would have done myself. I thanked him again and resolved privately to find a local therapist. I definitely needed some help getting my emotions under control. I also needed someone to talk to about these new feelings coursing through my being.

I had a momentary flash of anger until I realized what I had done. I had taken over and made decisions for her, decisions I wasn't entitled to make. A moment later we were apologizing to each other and laughing.

I looked at my watch and for the waiter. As if he read my mind he appeared with Christine's to go order. The last thing I wanted to do was rush her but time was pressing. Thankfully she was equally anxious to get back home. I

She was quiet on the trip back to her car. I pondered what to do when we arrived. The car looked fine and I had no excuse to remain any longer. She thanked me again and wished me good luck with my potential client and then surprised me by reaching up and kissing me.

Again I didn't want to let her go but she gently reminded me I had an appointment. I came this close to calling the client and cancelling but she gently pushed me towards my car and said she had to get her niece's dinner to her before she starved to death.

Laughing, I got into my car and waited to make sure she got off all right and then hurried to make my appointment. I had little time to think about what just happened. The potential client was quite pleased, especially with some of Christina's suggestions. We agreed to speak further and I told him I would try to bring the coworker who had made the suggestions he liked. I hoped Christine would agree as it would give me an excuse to see her again.

I was going to sit a moment thinking about what had happened until I realized Tony wasn't going to leave until I was safely off. Shaking myself out of my reverie I waved and drove off.

It wasn't a long trip to the small house Jessica and I were renting. Jessica met me at the door, curious as to why I was coming home so late and grabbing the bag from Brocato's while asking questions a mile a minute. She finally slowed down as she started in on the sandwich I had brought her.

When I told her about Tony and how he had helped me and then treated me to dinner she grinned.

"About time you met someone. I was afraid I'd be living with an old maid and her cats!"

I made as if to swat her and she just laughed and said she wanted all the deets. Kids with their phrases. I knew she worried about me. It was like I was the kid, not her. So I dished except for the kissing part. I wanted to savor that memory myself for a bit longer.

Tony's reaction made me resolve to find a local therapist. I had a lot to talk about and perhaps a reason to go forward. It wasn't just the kiss but that I was treated like the woman I know I am. Even when Tony was slightly condescending I couldn't get too angry. I found it funny that while I wanted to be treated as the woman I felt myself to be I chafed at the way I was treated at the same time. It came to me that most women probably felt the same way. It's not that I would be turning into an ardent feminist but I was becoming more aware of things outside my carefully constructed little world. My therapist probably would tell me it was part of the real life test, not just seeing if I was really a woman but seeing how a woman lived and thrived in the world. Yes I absolutely had to find a local therapist.

I wondered if I was overreacting. I certainly liked playing the dashing prince coming to the fair maiden's rescue but had I carried it too far? Was I really interested in Christina as a person and more importantly as a woman or was I just trying to show her I wasn't like those cretins in the office?

Thinking about it I realized I was referring to her. There was no question in my mind that I saw a woman. Certainly my physical reaction to her said I responded to her as a woman. She may not be complete but my animal instincts said female and I'd wanted her and that kiss said she wanted me.

I desperately needed someone to talk to about this but who in the hell do you spill your guts to about a woman who wasn't a woman yet! I had no clue so I resorted to the internet. I was amazed at all the porn that came up. Were she-males really that popular that there was a whole industry built around them? Was I one of their potential customer base? I had to admit some of them were hotter than hell until I saw the penis attached to that body. From what Christina said, at the moment, she was like that, a girl with a dick. Was I being crude to turn myself off her? Was I more like Dan than I cared to admit?

Then I spotted something that might help. They had support groups for family and friends of transsexuals. I didn't really want to attend a group meeting but maybe the person who led the local group might talk to me one-on-one.

I took note of his number. He didn't have Dr. before his name so I had no idea who he was or what he did but he certainly would know more than I did. I went to bed, my mind a jumble of thoughts. It took a while but eventually I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew the alarm was going off.

For the first time in ages I woke with an erection. The hormones had generally put a stop to that, but then I had been dreaming of Tony last night. Even though I knew I liked men, none of them had affected me like him. I just wish I had the proper receptacle for the member I had felt pressed against me last night. He knew, and still got hard.

I would have been upset if my therapist hadn't warned me that this might happen and that it wasn't a bad thing, just my body reacting in the only way it knew how. It did convince me that I would get the surgery as soon as the doctors would allow it. If I had the money I would have been on a plane to Thailand today.

I'm not sure if I can look him in the face today. Maybe he won't be around, maybe he's come to his senses and will avoid me like the rest of the staff. For once I was thankful for my little corner office where I'd been hidden away like the ugly stepchild. I'm not sure he even knew where it was.

I turned on the computer to check alerts on companies I'd flagged on the foreign exchanges. It could have waited until I got in but I needed a distraction to calm me down. There was; the first notice of an outbreak of a virus in China where several US companies had subsidiaries. The Chinese usually said very little about internal matters which said this was serious and would likely have a major impact. This was something that couldn't wait. I called up to Jessica to make sure she was up and left for the office, my mind churning over the possibilities and the effects.

Tony would need to know. I stopped myself. It wasn't just Tony, the whole company needed to know. If this was a serious outbreak hundreds of businesses would be affected and the stock market would be volatile. This is what I was paid for. I needed a clear head.

Christina, that's all I could think about. Was I crazy? Was I willing to take on the shitstorm that would probably come down on me if I took up with her? How would my clients react if they found out? And I'm sure my competitors inside and outside the office would be more than happy to let them know.

Was she worth it? Was she even a she? It was early morning and I already needed a drink. Despite everything I remembered the kisses. That was a woman that kissed me; my body and mind shouted it. Damnit, why did I have to be the good Samaritan?

Maybe she could forget it ever happened, maybe I'd never see her again. Certainly, I hadn't run into her at the office in the weeks I'd been here. I didn't even know where her's was.

I needed to get a move on. I had appointments today and needed to finish my prep work. I had spent way to much time online last night and I was going to pay for it later. I'm sure mom is going to interrogate me about why I was up so late. That woman was a human waterboard and nothing got past her. I knew she was pretty open-minded but could or would she be able to handle Christina. I had a feeling I'd need to find out and the sooner the better.

The office parking lot was pretty empty. I didn't see her car but then she told me she didn't normally drive to work to avoid just what happened last night. It sucked she had to ride a bus because some juvenile employee couldn't deal with someone a little different.

I hurried in to the building only to wait for an elevator. You'd think with no-one there the elevators would all be available but if to defy logic of course none of them were.

Finally one arrived. I entered and pushed the button for my floor. As the door began to shut an arm stuck in between them, a woman's arm. I heard her voice and looked into the face of the very woman I was hoping to avoid. She looked troubled and I fully expected her to say something about yesterday but all she said was, "did you hear about China?"

I hadn't realized it was Tony. I felt a bit foolish for a moment. He looked like he expected me to say anything but what I did. If I had known it was him I probably would have said something foolish about last night. We stood there for a moment just staring at each other until he grinned and said, "oh hell, I don't know what to say except, can we go out again?"

I was expecting the brush-off after Tony had a little time to think about what he was doing. Instead he wanted to go out again, like on a real date. I was speechless and he started to look worried so I quickly said yes.

I'm not sure the sigh that escaped was his or mine. He looked relieved and worried at the same time. All thoughts about China fled my mind until he said, "what about China?"

I started telling him about what I'd read and deduced from what little information there was. Before I knew it we were in his office with the door shut and me pinned against it as he ravaged my mouth.

He backed up for a moment to catch his breath and was about to dive back in when there was a knock on the door. Whoever knocked then tried to open the door I was held against.

Tony backed away until he was leaning against his desk and I turned and opened the door as Dan almost fell through it. I reached to catch him and he saw me and windmilled his arms, falling backward on his ass. I reached down to give him a hand and he knocked it away.

"I don't need help from the likes of you!"

I quickly pulled my hand back as he scrambled back to his feet. He looked from me to Tony and I knew he was about to say something that would probably get his ass kicked by Tony.

"I met Tony in the elevator and was telling him about developments in China and he invited me back to his office to discuss them as my office doesn't have the room.

As long as you're here you should know too."

Dan may have been a homophobic, transphobic asshole but he didn't get to be boss by not listening when there was something that might help make him and the firm money.

Dan didn't know how close he came to finding his ass right back on the floor he picked himself off of. If Christina hadn't intervened with her comment. . . .

I so wanted to kiss her again but she had gotten Dan's attention and even I had to listen as she made several suggestions. I, and the rest of the investment counselors were going to be very busy if what Christina was telling us was true. There was no reason not to think she wasn't and Dan and I both caught the urgency in her voice.

Christina headed for my PC to draft a message as Dan signed on and then dictated.

"Tell everyone what you just told me and your recommendations and tell the staff to waste no time in acting on them and sign my name. The markets open in minutes so there's no time to waste."

Christina did just that and when she finished I waited, in vain. The bastard didn't even have the courtesy to say thank you. He just turned, stared at me, and left without another word. I looked at his disappearing back and turned to Christina. She had gotten up from my desk and started to leave. I caught her arm. She looked at me with a half smile.

"You've got a lot of work to do and so do I. I hope you're ready to handle the gossip because I'm sure Dan didn't miss my smeared lipstick or the lipstick on your mouth, Tony."

She ran a finger over my lips and pressed it to them gently as she grinned and walked away. I just stared after her as the realization hit me. I may have been able to shrug off him seeing us at Brocato's but there was no way he could think that lipstick got on my lips any way other than a kiss from Christina. Well, actually I kissed her so it was nobody's fault but my own.

I should have had better control of myself but I'd been thinking of her all night and then, there she was, and I couldn't resist it. I wondered if Dan would, or could, keep his mouth shut. From her comment Christina didn't expect him to.

It was difficult but I forced my mind back to the crisis at hand. I had clients who depended on me. Others may just see their clients as big dollar signs but for many their investments were their only income and something like this could seriously impact their future. I reached for the phone and my client list as I set up a link to our traders. I was already instructing them on what to do on behalf of clients who gave me the discretionary power to buy and sell without their approval. At the same time I started calling those who made their own decisions. They usually agreed with my recommendations and today was no exception.

Several hours later I had a moment to think about Christina and this morning.

Back in my little cubbyhole of an office I took a moment to check out my appearance. As i suspected there was no way Dan couldn't have noticed the lipstick smeared on my lips, even if he hadn't noticed that same lipstick on Tony's. I hope Tony took my warning to heart because all I could see ahead of us was heartache and heartbreak.

I could feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. I finally found a man who wanted me and what did I do? I let him into my heart, knowing I couldn't give him what he wanted. If I didn't do something quick his professional and personal life were going to end up in the toilet along with mine.

There was only one answer. I had to end it and end it quick. On top of that I had to make sure he came off as a nice guy, which he was. Too nice. Why couldn't I have met him after my surgery? At least then our relationship, if we even had one, would have a chance. Right now all there would be is jokes and sly innuendos about gay sex with the tranny pervert.

It would have to be in public, where he couldn't overreact and do or say something he'd regret later. He'd probably hate me for it but I couldn't see any other choice. I just had to find the right moment, before the date he'd asked me on. I'm sure I'd dream about the date that would never happen now. I'd just have to settle for the memories of that night at Brocato's.

I kept monitoring the situation through the day. It was night in China now but I had found my excuse, the markets in the far east would open tonight and I needed to be watching when they did. I was sure our firm and its investment counselors had been ahead of the game but I needed to see how the Nisei and Shanghai exchanges reacted to see how serious this outbreak was. It also gave me the perfect excuse to delay our date and figure out how to extricate myself and Tony from the situation we found ourselves in.

I called Jessica to tell her it was going to be a late night. I only hoped the buses would still be running when I finally left. Again I regretted not driving my car to work but despite Mrs. Lukes insistence on paying for any damage it wasn't going to change the small minds who broke my tail lights or slashed my tires. If the asshole responsible for the vandalism heard about Tony his car could be a target too! All the more reason to stop things before they got that far.

My PC dinged indicating I had another email. It had been doing that all day so I ignored it. I'd wait as there were sure to be more. Several dings later I opened up my email and Christina's immediately caught my eye.

With disappointment I read her explanation for cancelling our proposed date. At least it was believable. I wanted to believe it. I wanted it not to be what it appeared to be, a brushoff. I thought I had felt her return my passion in our kiss but maybe I was wrong, maybe I just hoped she was.

I prepared to go home and forget about Christina. Maybe it had been too much, too soon. I know I had a bad habit of overdoing and over thinking things. Maybe I mistook gratitude for something more. Maybe there was no glass slipper or Cinderella, just a grateful woman shown some common decency where it was seriously lacking.

I was doing my best to rationalize things but I had it bad. Why, of all the women I had met down here was she the one that caught my interest? What did I really expect? That she would fall at my feet simply because I got her tires replaced?

Thinking about her tires I looked about the empty parking lot and didn't see her car. How was she going to get home? Surely she wasn't going to ride a bus! This may not be a bad part of town but a single woman at night anywhere was asking for trouble.

That did it. I was going to stay and make sure she got home safely, whether she wanted me to or not. I had a suspicion she wouldn't. Besides there wasn't anyone left to talk except the security guard. I decided to order pizza. It would give me an excuse to find her office. Somebody had to help me finish off the pizza. And if she didn't? Well, I'm sure the security guard would.

Forty-five minutes later the guard called and said the pizza was here. I hurried down to pay for it and let the guard grab a couple of slices. I noticed there were camera views of the parking lot. I didn't recall seeing them before and said so.

"Yeah, they were installed today, rush order. Some bigwig made a stink about some vandalism and insisted. Just more work for me."

I resisted the urge to say something about that's what he got paid for. I realized he was just doing what any of us did when our workload increased.

"Well, I think it's a good thing, especially at night like this. It gets dark early in the winter and I'm sure the women in the building will appreciate it."

With that remark I left to see if I could find Christina's office.

I smelled pizza and it reminded me that I hadn't eaten all day. I wondered who had hung around this late. Usually everyone was out of here as quickly as they could justify leaving. I wasn't sure I wanted to even know. I considered calling for a pizza of my own when there was a knock on my open door and the luscious smell of pizza wafted in.

"You're a hard woman to find, Christina. I thought the pizza would get cold before I found your office."

Tony stared around my tiny cubicle. There was no window and the door didn't even have my name on it. I strongly suspected it had been a supply closet but had resisted the urge to say anything. It was only for a couple of years until Jessica went away to college and I could move back to San Francisco. It really didn't matter to me. Most of my work was done online. I would have telecommuted if I could and I'm sure Dan would have preferred it. However, it was felt that analysts needed to be in house in case some particular investment opportunity needed to be explained in more detail.

A few of our clients sometimes needed more convincing than a graph or figures on a sheet of paper. it happens I was very good at explaining things. If I'd had any sales ability I could have had job like Tony's. I also suspected a few of the investment counselors had lost clients because they didn't want to deal with the 'tranny' even though I passed with no difficulty.

I knew Tony wouldn't have that problem considering he'd asked me to come along to his client meeting last night. If word got out to his clients however, that I was more to him than a staff analyst they might have a problem. I was just surprised that Dan hadn't said anything to anyone including myself about this morning. His wife must have him on a pretty short leash. My thoughts were interrupted by a slice of pizza waving under my nose.

"A pizza for your thoughts."

I couldn't help but giggle at Tony's lame attempt at a joke. Grabbing his hand and the slice I took a bite before he could snatch it away. My resolve to force Tony out of my life was being severely tested. Every moment I spent in his presence made it that much harder. I wished I could just share a pizza and enjoy his company. There was no-one to talk, no-one to spread tales but it didn't make any difference. If I didn't end this now it would become harder and harder. I steeled myself to look him in the eye. He'd never believe me otherwise.

"I'm sorry Tony but this has to end. There's no future in it and we both know it. We can put it down to me getting carried away by your kindness. People will understand that. They won't blame you, they'd much rather blame me anyway.

Right now you're an ace salesman, an asset but if you get involved with me the rumors and stories will start. Your clients will hear whispers and suddenly they will find excuses to change counselors. Oh, they won't say it's because of me. They'll find some other reason, something that won't make them look like the bigots they are. You know it, I know it."

I couldn't help it, I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks. I turned away and told him to please leave.

I didn't know what to do. A moment before she was giggling at my joke and then she was telling me to leave like it was midnight and her Cinderella moment was over. Part of me wanted to be the hero she needed but there was no glass slipper lying about.

The logical part of me was afraid what she said was right. I'm ashamed to say, but that part won out. I carefully put the pizza slice back in the box, put it down on her desk and walked out, hoping she would say something, anything to make me stop. There was only silence and a muffled sob I'm sure she didn't intend for me to hear.

I was angry, angry at myself and angry at her. She wouldn't even give me a chance. Maybe she was right, maybe my career would suffer, maybe I'd become the 'tranny lover' like she feared but wasn't that my decision?

She never said a word about whether she even liked me, she just shut me down. I turned to give her a piece of my mind but she had shut her door. I didn't want to make a bigger fool of myself by pounding on a door I'm sure was locked. All the way down the hall I kept telling myself to go back, that I could somehow make things right when I didn't even know what right was.

Why was I even bothered by this? I'd been rejected before. I'd heard the 'it's not you, it's me' reason for breaking up. I'd even used it myself, but up to now just thought of it as an excuse. This time I knew it was true, sort of. It wasn't Christina, it was the world around her, around us, and I was too weak to fight it.

I decided it was time to leave. The guard thanked me again for the pizza as I passed him and went to my car. I was about to drive home when I thought about her leaving and trying to catch a bus. I pulled around the block and parked across the street where I could see the entrance but she wouldn't notice me. I didn't know how long I'd have to wait but however long I would make sure she got home safely.

I was nodding off when I saw the car pull up and she ran out and got in. She must have called a ride service. I started up my car and made the lonely drive home.

The opening of the exchanges took my mind off Tony for the moment as I watched the indexes dive. I was glad our firm avoided investments on those exchanges. While the chance for great profits existed, the volatility did not make them good investments for the clients Lukes Investment normally handled.

I prepared an updated analysis and sent it out company-wide. They would be up early in the west coast office. At least I could get some sleep. I called a ride service. It would cost a bit but better than trying to catch a bus at this hour.

I noted Tony's car was gone from the parking lot. I guess he got the message. It still hurt and I knew I needed to find a local therapist and soon. Even Jessica in the days that followed had commented on my moodiness and for a self-absorbed teenager to notice it must be pretty bad.

It didn't get better in the weeks that followed. I'd found a therapist and she was good. She quickly zeroed in on my problem, I had gotten a taste of there being something beyond simply correcting my physical gender. She called it seeking validation, I called it Tony.

I had found myself venturing out of my office, hoping to catch a glimpse of him or even run into him. It was as if he had a sixth sense and managed to become invisible to me until one day I actually overheard a piece of gossip. My pariah status meant that I was totally outside of the loop when it came to office gossip. I only had official memos to go by and thus hadn't heard that he'd just taken a leave of absence.

I have to admit I'm vain enough to think it was because of me. I guess I hoped in a way that I'd had that great an effect on him that he had to get away even though I was supposedly concerned about his welfare when I had told him to do just that. Of course then I thought he left because he knew he'd made a big mistake by being seen with me. I called my therapist because finding this out was seriously screwing with my head.

My therapist quickly disabused me of the thought that Tony left because of me.

"There's a lot of reasons this man might have left and none of them are probably to do with you."

Chastised, we moved on to why I would even think such a thing. While we had talked about Tony most of our first few appointments had been spent getting acquainted as she fleshed out the notes she had received from my doctor in San Francisco. I wanted to make a good impression as it would require two therapists to sign off on my gender affirming surgery. My obsession with Tony was raising flags with her, calling into question my reason for transitioning.

Therapists were trained to look for individuals who wanted to transition because they couldn't admit to themselves that they were really just homosexuals. It was individuals like them that made it more difficult for those of us whose gender didn't match their body. I cursed myself for letting my sexual attraction get in the way of my transitioning. It seems Tony was a greater danger to my future than I thought I would be for his!

I made it a point to avoid Christina after that night, spending as much time out of the office as possible. My mother commented on my new work habits, wondering what had changed. How could I tell her I was dumped by a woman because she thought she'd ruin my reputation? I had to admit that the rejection stung, no matter how noble Christina's reason was. I thought for sure there was something between us but now it seemed I'd never know.

That virus had become a major thing and many of my clients needed major hand-holding. For some their investments were their only income and they were right to worry. Soon it wasn't just their investments they were worried about and hand-holding was out of the question.

Then it became personal. One of mom's friends had just returned from a cruise a couple of weeks earlier and she brought more than souvenirs back with her. The frantic call from mom's nurse took me to Tampa General Hospital where I found my mother a victim of the virus that I had come to see as a symbol of all that was going wrong in my life. My life! Mom was the one with the respirator fighting for breath and I couldn't even go in the room. All I could do was watch and pray for her.

I called Dan to tell him I was taking a leave of absence and gave him specific instructions on how my clients should be handled while I was gone. I wanted to call Christina but didn't. I cursed myself for being a coward. I knew it was a selfish thought but I wanted her. I wanted someone to hold on to because I couldn't hold on to mom. I went home to the empty house and for want of anything better to do began to clean. I scrubbed and scrubbed as if by doing so I could cleanse my heart of the pain.

I went to the hospital and they let me see her. I had to wear a mask and gloves but I could hold her hand and tell her I loved her. I told her she needed to get better, that I needed her. She told me I needed to find someone like she did with our father. I told her I had but she didn't want me. Mom laughed and coughed and I was about to call for nurse when she recovered and started speaking again.

"Since when has being told no ever stopped you? Did she tell you no because she doesn't love you?"

I told her I didn't know, that she was rejecting me to protect me.

"Sounds to me like she cares for you. Do you need to be protected?"

I thought about that. What was I really afraid of? Of course Christina had no way of knowing I was just as rich as our best clients. I worked because I enjoyed the challenge of helping people make money, especially those that needed it. It's why I didn't push every new investment that came up unless I felt it really would be for their long term benefit. Mom was right, I didn't need protecting. But right now mom did and she needed me.

I only found out that Tony had told Dan to refer all his clients to me because one of them insisted on speaking to me despite Dan's attempt to shunt him off to Rick Wilson, the firm's high flier.

The man hadn't been happy when Rick started pushing him to sell off his current investments to buy new ones he recommended that would generate a higher return. He asked Rick about me and the client told me Rick had said Tony was pushing me because he had a thing for 'trannies.' What Rick didn't know was this client was gay. He had called Tony at home to tell him what happened.

Tony apparently exploded and called Dan to tell him that he was personally calling all his clients to refer them to me if they had any questions or concerns. He'd already taken my advice and positioned his clients in investments that would not suffer in the long run. Dan told him he was fired. I found this out later from another of his clients who Rick had tried to churn.

I admired Tony's guts and his trust in me but saw his being fired as a direct result of getting involved with me. I was pretty sure Dan wanted to fire me too but knew his wife would ask questions plus he still needed my analyses. I'm not sure how he kept her from questioning his firing of Tony.

Turns out she didn't know he was fired just as I didn't know until one of his clients told me. Ms. Lukes found out like I did from one of Tony's clients who also happened to be one of her closest friends. Boy did the stinky brown stuff hit the revolving blades then! And I got the most surprising call from Ms. Lukes. She asked me, ME, if I could convince Tony to come back to work for the firm. I'm not sure why she even thought I could convince him to come back. Just because she saw us together that one night?

I didn't know what good it would do but I felt guilty, that it was my fault he got fired and I didn't want him to hate me. It was with great trepidation that I called him and was going to ask to meet him at Brocato's.

The phone rang several times and I thought he wasn't going to answer when he picked up. He sounded incoherent on the phone and I wondered for a moment if there was actually a problem and that's why he'd been fired. Then I realized he was crying, great racking sobs. I couldn't make out anything he said. I asked if there were someone else who I could talk to. There were some shuffling sounds and a woman's voice came on the phone.

"This is Sylvia. I'm a nurse at Tampa General. Who am I speaking with?"

I told her I was a friend and fellow employee at the firm he worked at. She must have asked Tony a question and gotten a response because the next thing she told me was that his mother had just died.

I answered the phone out of habit. I looked at it and through the tears saw it was Christina but couldn't hold back the sobs long enough to say anything coherent.

When I motioned the nurse took the phone from me and talked to her. She put her hand over the phone and asked if it was ok to tell her. I nodded. She spoke into the phone again and handed it to me. All I heard was Christina saying not to go anywhere, that she would be right there. I didn't even have time to tell her not to come. I wondered why she was coming when she'd told me to stay away. Apparently it didn't apply to her.

I admitted to myself that I was glad she was coming. It was just not the best time. She didn't need to see me crying like a baby. She would probably want to comfort me like the child I was being but I didn't want another mother. I wanted mine back. I knew I was being unreasonable but I didn't care.

They wouldn't even let me in to kiss my mother goodbye! I tried to force my way in but the nurse had called a security guard. He just stood in the doorway apologizing to me. I finally gave up and sat down on the chair the nurse guided me to or I would have ended up on the floor.

I don't know how long I sat there sobbing quietly, angry that they wouldn't let me see her, angrier when a hospital administrator came to me and told me her body couldn't be released for two weeks as a safety precaution. I was ready to tear him a new one when I saw the look on his face. He was sad and scared at the same time. I realized that he wasn't any happier with the situation than I was. While I knew this virus was causing major problems in the marketplace and China I had little idea how worried the staff at the hospital were. Yes, they'd made me wear a gown and gloves and mask but I thought at the time it was to protect mom, not me!

The administrator asked me how I felt. I looked at him like he was some sort of idiot. How did he think I felt? My mom just died! Then it hit me, he was concerned that I might have the virus. I wondered why he was wearing a mask and gloves. I had just thought it was so we could see my mother, not to see me.

Deciding, there wasn't much else I could do here I went to leave, almost forgetting completely that Christina had called and said she was coming. As if she knew I was thinking about her my phone rang.

I was lucky I wasn't pulled over for speeding. I had never heard a man cry like that. I had never cried like that. Not even when my sister and her husband died. So to hear the anguish in his cries unsettled me to the core. I wanted to do whatever it took to stop those cries.

I shook my head. This guy had some kind of hold on me. I realized I'd been fooling myself that I could stay away from Tony and I regretted every minute I had wasted by chasing him away. I only hoped he still felt something for me.

I parked and rushed into the hospital and then realized I had no idea where to find Tony. I pulled my cell phone out of my purse and called him. This time he answered and said my name. I was relieved that he was able to speak.

I asked where he was so I could come to him. He told me not to bother. I stopped and told him if he preferred not to see me I understood. He said I hadn't let him finish. He was trying to say not to bother coming to him because he was coming to me. I was lucky he couldn't see my face because I'm sure it was bright red from embarrassment.

Then I heard his voice behind me saying I could hang up now. I turned to find him right behind me, his face red and tear-stained. I wanted to kiss away the tears and felt myself go even redder if that was possible!

I raised my arms to hug him, thought better of it and just stood there awkwardly. I was trying to resist the urge to say something stupid but failing miserably. I mean, I drive here like a maniac and all I can say is, "how are you?"

Luckily for me Tony didn't care. He just grabbed me me and hugged me and buried his head in my hair. I come here to comfort him and instead he's comforting me! I don't care either as I try to squeeze him in two.

Finally he reaches behind himself and gently pulls my arms away and looks me in the eyes and a smile comes to his face. I am so glad to see that smile even though I know he is hurting, he smiled. My heart danced until I remembered why I was here.

I know I was glad she came, but why? She had pushed me away those weeks ago and it still hurt. I'm not sure I'm ready to have my heart ripped apart. I never really had her and now I wasn't sure I wanted her. Was she just here because mom died? Did she feel obligated to come?

It felt so good to hold her, to feel her arms around me but a part of me said be careful, be very careful. Don't let her get too close or she might leave me and I don't think I could handle it and mom's death too.

Right now I needed to get away, get away from sickness and death. I grabbed her and said let's go. She didn't hesitate. She didn't question. She just came with me. I didn't have any idea where I wanted to go except away from here. As we got outside she pulled up. I looked at her, wondering why.

"You can't drive right now. You're angry and you're hurting. It's not safe for you to drive. Give me your keys."

She held out her hand and just stood there, waiting for me to make up my mind. I sensed that if I didn't give them to her she would just leave me there. I realized I didn't want that to happen. I handed her the keys.
Her smile could have lit the darkest cave. I know something changed in that moment but had no idea what. All I know is I suddenly felt a cloud lift and I knew I must be smiling inanely. Mom was right, I had been fooling myself, thinking I could forget her. Mom would have slapped me upside the head if she had known I almost let Christina get away.

"I know why I'm smiling but why are you smiling?"

"You gave me your keys!"

I was missing something here, something very important. Unless she tells me what it is I have no idea.

"So?"

Instead of answering my question she asked one of her own.

"So, where is your car? You did drive here didn't you?"

I had to think about it for a minute and get my bearings.

"Somewhere over there, I think"

I pointed vaguely in the direction I think I parked my car. Christina strode off in that direction. I just stood and watched her ass wiggling its way away from me. I finally got my own ass in gear and followed, keeping an eye out for my car. Just as I spotted it and was about to tell her she exclaimed, "there it is!"

He handed me the keys! Even more importantly he didn't say anything. He didn't tell me how expensive it was, how I needed to be careful, that it wasn't like my car. He trusted me!

Sure, the circumstances were abnormal but that often brings out the worst in people. Tony was angry but none of it was reflected back toward me.

Where to go? I made a quick decision and asked where he lived. He said it was programmed into the SatNav and hit a button. A pleasant female voice started giving me directions. I resisted the urge to say it was a good thing it was a female or we'd probably get lost. Yeah, I told myself, I can be sexist too!

He didn't question my decision. He didn't say anything more so I talked. I told him we were going to his house so he could pack a bag and then he was coming to stay with Jessica and me.

That got a reaction. He looked at me as if to say, 'are you nuts?' I told him he needed to be around people and since he'd been fired he couldn't come in to work.

"When did you find out I'd been fired?"

I told him how one of his clients told me. Then I told him Ms. Lukes had called me because she had just found out. I told him she wanted him back. He said he didn't want to go back. I asked if he would at least talk to her.

He thought for a moment before agreeing. I had been about to remind him of what she had said at Brocato's but he must have remembered. I don't know what was happening back at work but expected there would be major shakeups. The very fact that Ms Lukes wanted Tony back had told me that, that, and the fact she called me personally.

In the meantime we had arrived at Tony's house. It was a lot bigger than I expected. I pulled into the circular drive and stopped. I told him I'd wait in the car. I didn't trust myself alone with him in the house. Nothing would probably happen. Besides you don't attack a guy whose mother just died for Pete's sake. My mind said that but my body said different. Then I remembered that I was different and it was like I'd just been doused in ice water.

He asked me to come in the house while he packed. I gave in as he came around and opened my door for me. Then he stood there and said, "keys, please."

I looked at him blankly until he said, "I need my keys to unlock the door." He grinned at me as I face-palmed.

I wondered if she thought I was going to take the keys and drive off? She shook her head and gave me the keys and actually slapped her herself with her hand. I guess she was thinking that!

I still didn't understand her reluctance to come in. Maybe she was a bit overwhelmed by the house. It was dad's crowning glory. When he knew he was going to retire he made sure to build the house of his and more importantly, mom's dreams. I think he would have built it in Jersey if he thought I would take over the business.

He was smart enough to know that the construction business had no appeal to me. I remembered all the summers I had worked as one of a construction crew. I knew how to build a house I just preferred learning about how to finance it. So, when the time came he built this house and sold the business to his senior executives at a fair price.

He wanted the name he had built up to remain untarnished. It's just a shame he didn't live very long after. I think he couldn't adjust to retired life. He took mom to Europe and on a couple of cruises and his buddies and former coworkers came down to visit. There were plenty of guest rooms.

Each time they left I think it reminded him of what he was missing. He found a few things like building the new church and some other civic projects but he had no hobbies. So, when the cancer came he didn't fight it as hard as he should. I think mom forgave him for leaving her too soon and transferred all that love to me.

Even though dad had built a small bachelor cottage in the back for me once he died I stayed in the house with mom. She'd tell me stories about things she and dad did and I'd tell her about things at school and then about my girlfriends. I never brought one home and that's how she knew they weren't the one.

Now I was finally bringing one home and it was too late! I couldn't help it, the tears came again. I just leaned against the car and cried. I guess Christina wondered why I hadn't come to the door and I suddenly felt her arms around me. She didn't say anything, she just held me until I stopped.

I looked at her and told her I was a coward. I should have brought her home to meet mom. The hell with what anyone else thought. I was ashamed of myself and mom would have been too!

The slap shocked the hell out of me. Christina glared at me.

"You are no coward. You may be a fool but so was I. You stood up for me and I turned you away. You were only being human. I don't blame you and I damn well don't think your mom thought you were a coward."

Then she kissed me.

I had promised myself I wouldn't do that and did it anyway. I wasn't going to let Tony run himself down like that. I should have slapped myself not him. The man just lost his mother and what do I do? I hit him! And then to make things worse I kiss him. I need to have my head examined!

I have no idea what was going through his mind. I couldn't figure out the look on his face but there was no mistake about what he did next. He pushed me aside and ran to the door, fumbling with his keys. When he got the door open he just ran inside.

I don't know what I was expecting him to do. I guess I hoped he would kiss me back. I stood there a moment and finally went after him. I owed him an apology. Now was hardly the time to lecture him or kiss him.

I still thought he needed not to be alone, even if I wasn't the person he wanted to be with. I followed him into the house, not sure what kind of reception I would receive. I didn't see him anywhere and wondered if I would have to search through the house to find him when he reappeared in a doorway to the side holding a pair of glasses.

"I need a drink and I thought you might too."

Great, now he was going to start drinking. I took the glass he offered.

"I hope water is ok. But if you want something stronger. . ."

I tried to control myself but couldn't as the giggle escaped. He looked at me like I was nuts - again. I was thoroughly confused by his actions. Water! The last thing I expected from him. I told him the water was fine. I wondered what other surprises he had in store for me. Then he looked at me sadly.

"I'm sorry. I can't come home with you. In fact you probably shouldn't go home either. And it's all my fault!"

What the hell was he talking about? I didn't like what I was hearing. I started backing away from him. He had me worried now. Maybe he was like all the others, or worse!

He must have realized I was scared because he backed away too. I didn't know whether to be be relieved or more scared when he said, "my mother died from complications from catching the virus."

I feel like crap. I think I love this woman and the very first thing I do when we have a chance to start over is to expose her to a deadly virus!
What the hell was I thinking? There I was in a hospital surrounded by doctor and nurses wearing masks and gloves. Even the security guard and administrator were wearing them. I knew they thought I might have the virus but all that flew out the window when Christina called.

I had always laughed about the saying that guys thought with their dicks. And then I did exactly that! Right now she wasn't the only one that wished their dick was gone. A stupid thought. I really didn't, I just wish I had been thinking straight.

The worse thing was when she kissed me outside I got hard again and I was embarrassed. Mom just died and I'm thinking about sex? I had to run inside. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a package of frozen peas and held it to my crotch. It did the job but then I needed an excuse to be in there and got the lame idea to bring her a glass of water.

And that's when it hit me. I can't go home with her. She has a niece, Jenni-, no, Jessica. I could give her the virus! So could Christina. I'd just screwed up both their lives. I had to tell Christina but when I said that she couldn't go home she'd gotten scared of me. Then when I told her about the virus she almost seemed relieved.

Then she said one word, "Jessica!"

I watched her face change as she got angry, angry at me. I didn't blame her. I was angry at myself. She shouted and screamed at me. I quickly put the water glasses down as she ran away from me. I ran after her and tried to hold her and she turned and hit me and kept hitting me. I crushed her to my chest to trap her arms as she called me names. I deserved to be called everything she called me and then some.

And then she was crying.

"What am I going to do? I can't expose Jessica but I can't leave her alone."

"Does she have a friend she could stay with?"

"No one close enough that I know of. It's partly my fault. They found out about me at her school and most of the kids stay away from her, even though who I am has nothing to do with her. You'd think I had some sort of virus and that she might pass it on. Funny, that now I actually might have one"

It really wasn't that funny but I laughed. It broke the tension between us.

I was still angry with Tony but I don't think he intended to put me at risk and I was at least partially at fault. Maybe if I'd actually talked to him on the phone instead of hanging up and rushing to the hospital he would have told me how his mother died and I wouldn't have come.

The problem now was Jessica. She was pretty independent but she didn't drive. While she took the bus to school and bought her lunch there I usually cooked dinner. And I certainly didn't like the idea of her being home alone at night.

I had worried about her the one night I stayed late when the virus news broke. It seems like the virus was doing its best to screw up my life. Now it was about to screw up my niece's.

"Maybe I should go home and just keep my distance."

"You know that won't work, not unless one of you was always wearing gloves and a mask. You'd have to sanitize everything constantly. I know, it was bad enough when mom had her first heart attack and caught pneumonia. When she came home I had to be careful because her immune system was weak. The nurse stayed with her while I stayed in the cottage until she was stronger."

He was right there was no way we could stay together without her being exposed. I wanted to cry again. I was angry again.

"So asshole, any brilliant ideas?"

I didn't mean to shout and say that but I didn't know what else to do. If it involved numbers and economic reports I could find a way but this? I had no preparation for this. Not only that, I couldn't go into work now. Even though I was hidden away in my little corner office that no-one ever visited.

"You can stay here."

"I'd rather stay in a motel. Besides, that doesn't help me take care of Jessica. Maybe a room next to me? At least she'd be close."

I knew as soon as I said it that it wouldn't work. Maybe a hotel with room service. I thought about how much it would cost for a couple of weeks, maybe more for separate rooms plus meals. She'd still have to get to school and back. I was running out of ideas.

I felt Tony's hand lift up my chin so he could look at me.

"Hear me out. I have an idea."

She looked at me hopefully, I could see the tears brimming in her eyes.

"Jessica can stay here."

"What! Are you crazy?"

"Not here, here. I mean she can stay in the cottage. It's completely furnished and has state of the art electronics including a scanner, copier, fax machine so she can go to school remotely. It's been done before for students unable to attend class. Or she can call a ride-sharing service each day and go to school if you want."

"What about food?"

"I'm a bachelor, the freezer is chock full of all kinds of frozen dinners and she can always order out and have it delivered."

"And where is the money coming for all this? She has a trust fund. I insisted that it not be touched once I moved in so she could pay for college. The fund is what convinced the court she could be emancipated as there was enough to support her until she reached 18. I'm not going to force her to use it. She gets a small allowance from it for clothes and personal expenses. I really have no control over the trust fund but the lawyer will release funds to her as needed. She's been good about not abusing the privilege, but now this?"

I had to tell her sometime. Now was as good as any.

"I'll pay for everything. It's my fault you and Jessica are in this situation so it's only right that I pay. And before you say anything, I can afford it."

Afford it how? He just got fired. His mom died and this house probably has a giant mortgage. At least I still had a job and I could work from anywhere. I could understand him feeling guilty but it wasn't going to help matters if he went broke because of it. I had to stop this right now.

"We'll pay our own way, thank you."

He laughed.

"This is just like your tires isn't it. You think I'm being the man and wanting to control everything. I'm Dudley DoRight and you're poor Nell tied to the railroad tracks. Well, get used to it. It's what us guys do when we're in love."

Oh shit! He went and used the L word. What, did he watch the Hallmark Channel? It's like every sappy movie ever made. I should know, I watch all of them. This is the part where I get all teary-eyed and profess my love for him too. Well, it isn't going to happen. Not now, maybe not ever.

"Slow down Prince Charming. You hardly know me. Just because you kissed me a few times doesn't mean we're some kind of couple."

"May I remind you Cinderella that you kissed me not fifteen minutes ago."

Damn, he had to bring that up.

"I also slapped your ass."

"That wasn't my ass and don't try to change the subject!"

I was going to have to pay my therapist time and a half to figure this out. Hell, I couldn't even see her in person either.

I just stared at him with my clenched fists on my hips just like my sister did when she found out I spilled soda on her prom gown. Thank God it was Sprite™.

"So how long are you going to be angry at me?"

"As long as your mom would for saying something so stupid!"

It was a low blow and I wished I could take it back as soon as I said it. I watched his face crumple.

"Do whatever you want. Stay, go, just do it."

He turned and walked away and I let him. I owed him an apology but I was so used to being the one wronged that I didn't know what to do.

She put her hand to her mouth right after she said it so I knew she didn't really mean it but it still hurt. Fact is if I'd said that to mom she would have slapped me upside the head for being a wiseass. And it wouldn't have been the first time.

The big problem was I was getting hard again. There was just something about Christina that I couldn't resist. I could tell myself she wasn't even a complete woman yet - or was she? I really didn't know. How would you ask that question anyway without it sounding crass? Maybe I could get a look at her driver's license. In Florida you couldn't change the M to an F without the surgery. I'd read that when studying to get my own Florida license.

I needed a moment away again. I wonder if I put the peas back in the freezer? Stupid idea. She might walk in on me. How would I explain that? I just headed for the bathroom. I listened to see if she was following me or for the front door to open. I smiled. I had my keys so she wasn't going anywhere quickly. Nothing.

The I heard a half-hearted shout.

"This isn't over."

My smile turned into a grin. At least she wasn't leaving! I figured I'd give her a while to cool down before I returned.

I finally got soft enough to take a piss. I cleaned myself up and went back out. I found her on her phone. She saw me and held up her hand. I paused and she quickly hung-up.

"I left a message for Jessica to call me when she got out of class. Hopefully by then we'll have worked this out."

I took some solace in that she had said we. I waited. I wondered if she would apologize or if I should just pretend she didn't say it. I was about to ask her what she had decided when she softly said, "I'm sorry for what I said about your mom." She said it so softly that I almost missed it. I wanted to hug her again.

Men! They can be so infuriating and thoughtless, that when they do something right it just takes the wind out of your sails. I could count the number of times I apologized to a man on one hand and most of them were to Tony.

Here he was offering myself and Jessica a place to stay for free and instead of talking about it like two sensible adults I insulted him and then made a very grudging apology.

I looked at him and went to apologize again, and mean it, when he put his finger to my lips and said, "apology accepted."

I grabbed his finger and said I needed to do it right. He went to push his finger back and I bent it back, maybe a bit harder than I planned as he yelped.

"I'm trying to make a proper apology here!"

He glared at me as he held his hand and went to speak when I put MY finger on his lips and said, "I'm sorry for what I said about your mother and hurting you. I seem to be real good at that right now."

Then the bastard grabbed my hand - and kissed it! He pulled me in by it and hugged me. I looked up at him.

"I'm supposed to be the one that kisses your finger and makes it better you stupid man!"

Then he pointed at his lips.

"You hurt them, you jabbed your finger on them."

Well, what else could I do, I kissed them better, several times, just to be sure! Damn hormones!

There was no way I could stay in the same house with this man, not until I had my surgery. Damn, why did this have to happen now?

"This isn't going to work. I can't be locked up like this with you."

"I promise to leave the doors unlocked."

"Very funny."

"I won't lay a finger on you unless you want."

"What do you think you just did?"

"Now who's being funny?"

This wasn't getting us anywhere. I needed to get this conversation back on track and make some sort of plan before Jessica called.

"I have a solution but you're probably not going to like it."

"Why do I think I won't like it?"

"Because I don't like it. But I think it's better and safer if I stay at my house."

"We already discussed this. You can't stay with Jessica."

"You're right, but I am going to take you up on part of your offer, if you are still offering, for Jessica to stay in your cottage."

I watched as his face fell for a moment and then he smiled and said, "of course my offer is still valid but why not stay here too?"

I was disappointed at her solution. She gave me several good reasons. She didn't want to leave the house empty. Only Jessica would have to move her things. The refrigerator was full of food that would go to waste if neither of them were there. Of course she didn't state the obvious, she didn't want to be alone with me.

I think I hid my disappointment well.

"At least stay for dinner. It will take Jessica a while to pack up and then I'll have her picked up and brought here."

"Ok, but I'll cook. Let me see what's in your fridge."

I wanted to tell her I loved to cook and did it all the time for my mom but she probably thought from my comment about the frozen dinners in the cottage freezer that I didn't cook. It was true that on my own I often didn't cook because I frequently had dinner with clients or potential clients. I'd stopped that when I moved in with mom. I kept my dinners out to a minimum, going out to lunch instead.

I let her have her head. It was important to her that she contribute and if it made her stay instead of leaving I wasn't going to stop her. I pointed her to the kitchen and took a seat at the kitchen counter so we could talk.

Jessica called and I let Christina break the news to her. Spring break was coming up for her so she figured she could use a ride-sharing service until then. I told Christina to tell her I'd set up an account so she didn't have to do anything except be ready to be picked up.

I asked Christina for the phone so I could give Jessica more details about the cottage and where to find the hidden key to get in. She sounded excited until I told her that her aunt was staying at their house and not here. She asked me to give the phone back to Christina.

Though I could only here one side of the conversation it was obvious they were arguing about why Christina wasn't staying here. I kind of hoped Jessica could convince her but it seemed that wasn't going to happen.

When it became apparent the discussion had turned to what she should pack I decided to take the opportunity to shave and clean up. I'd been in such a rush to get to the hospital this morning that I didn't care how I looked. I was just realizing what a picture I must be presenting to Christina. She must think I'm a slob!

When I looked up from my phone call with Jessica Tony was gone. I hadn't even noticed he had left. As long as he was gone I decided to check out the fridge. It was well stocked and I was bent over checking out the produce bin when I heard a wolf whistle behind me. I spun around and nearly fell to see Tony grinning at me.

He'd cleaned up and now I felt grubby facing him. I didn't know whether to slap him or kiss him. I was upset about him checking out my ass like some misogynistic construction worker but at the same time I was pleased. While it had filled out somewhat from the hormones I still thought I was like a stick with breasts. Tony must be seeing something I didn't when I stared at the full length mirror in my bedroom.

"Well, I suppose I should be thankful you didn't slap MY ass."

"I didn't think you'd want me to, but if I was wrong. . . . "

I couldn't help it, I giggled. There was just something about this man. It's why I had to keep my distance. I didn't want to spoil the illusion, not until I was complete, but Tony was making it damned difficult.

We needed to get back on track. I needed to call Ms Lukes and explain what happened. I knew her husband wasn't going to be happy with me for just disappearing this morning. I hadn't even thought to call. If I wasn't careful both of us would be unemployed.

"Have you thought about talking with Ms Lukes? She seemed really anxious to have you come back to work for her."

"For her maybe but not for Dan."

"What do you expect her to do? Fire her husband?"

"No. In fact that would be a bad idea. You and I both know he's smart and makes the business a lot of money. Let's face it, most our clients are short-term investors, always looking for the fast buck. He and guys like Rick cater to that group. I just can't work that way."

"Then what do you suggest? Should you even bother calling her?"

This wasn't going at all the way I expected. Tony was actually defending the guy who fired him!

I could see the disbelief in her eyes. I could feel her pulling away from me. I wasn't surprised she reacted this way given the way she was treated. I needed to explain.

"Dan and his ilk need to change. I want to be part of the change but you have to do your part too. You can't just hide away in your corner office and expect things to change.

Did you know Ms Lukes had cameras installed in the parking lot right after she found out what happened to your car? And Dan didn't say a word about what happened in my office between us.

I even understood why he was sending my clients to Rick, instead of you. You think it was because you're transgender. Well, you're wrong. He doesn't think you can sell. He just didn't realize my clients didn't need to be sold. Not everything is about who you are, sometimes it's about what you can do.

It's my fault for not making that clear to Dan. It doesn't excuse Rick's behavior and he didn't help himself when he badmouthed me. You need to help me out here. I'm happy to fight against men like Rick and Dan but I expect you to fight with me not hide behind me."

I thought she was going to slap me again. I could see the rage in her eyes. She turned away and started looking through the kitchen cabinets. I saw her shoulders begin to shake and I realized she was crying.

I went up behind her to hold her. She shrugged off my hands and ran out of the kitchen. I heard the bathroom door slam and the lock turn. Once again a locked door stood between us but this time I wasn't walking away!

How dare he accuse me of being a coward! He has no idea. I looked in the mirror and realized I'd been crying. My mascara had run and I looked like some scary goth chick. I turned the water on and grabbed a washcloth to scrub my face. I was just delaying the inevitable. This wasn't going to work. The sooner Tony realized it the better it would be for both of us.

I wish I could call a cab but, thanks to Tony, that wasn't possible. I opened the door and walked right past Tony without a word. Suddenly I could hear Jessica's voice. She wasn't supposed to be in here! I screamed at him for screwing things up and resisted the urge to run to her when Tony spoke.

"She's not in the house Christina, that's the intercom."

I expelled the breath I'd been holding, as if by doing so I could avoid infecting Jessica. I just said one word, "where?"

He pointed to the kitchen and the wall. I saw her on the flat screen TV. As soon as I entered the kitchen a camera must have picked me up because she grinned and shouted, "hi auntie! This is so cool!"

Tony must have walked in behind me.

"Hi, you must be Mr. Falzone. What a rockin' place you have here."

"Glad, you like it. Make yourself at home. Have you eaten yet?"

My niece held up a bag from her favorite fast food joint.

"The driver you sent stopped by there for me. He also helped bring in all my stuff and said to call him next time I needed a ride. He wouldn't even take a tip. He said it was all taken care of. Thanks auntie."

"Don't thank me, thank Mr. Falzone."

"Thanks Mr. Falzone and I'm real sorry about your mom."

"Thank you Jessica. Why don't you eat before your food gets cold and we'll talk later."

"Kay, bye auntie, bye Mr. Falzone."

The screen went blank.

I turned to Tony and told him he could drive me back to the hospital to get my car. I didn't say another word. I just grabbed my purse and walked toward the front door. Tony was strangely silent as he followed me out. He opened my car door for me. I thanked him and just waited as he closed the door and went around and got in.

We drove in silence back to the hospital where he pulled up by my car. I told him he didn't need to get out and to tell Jessica I would call her later. I handed him Ms Lukes' card and went to my car. He watched me drive away.

When I got home I grabbed a pint of ice cream out of the freezer and sat on the couch and cried. How I wished my sister were here to talk to about Tony and my feelings. It was too late to call my therapist. I had no-one but Jessica and I didn't want to burden her with my problems.

I watched her drive away and wondered if I was being foolish trying to make something work that might have no future. I pounded the wheel in frustration, hitting the horn accidentally and scaring an old couple walking by half to death. I opened the window and offered a sheepish apology.

Driving home I thought about getting something to eat before it registered that I couldn't do that. Nor would I have anyone to share my meal with now that Christina had gone off due to my inserting my size 11's into my mouth.

At home again I made myself a sandwich. I didn't have the desire to cook for just myself. I was just finishing up when the intercom came alive and I hit the button to allow video and Jessica was there.

"My aunt's not there, Mr. Falzone?"

"I'm sorry Jessica, she decided to go home. She said she'd call you."

"Okay. Did you two have a fight? I hope not. She really likes you, you know."

I grasped that thought and hugged it to me.

"I hope so. Can you keep a secret?"

Jessica got a conspiratorial look on her face and said, "cross my heart. I don't do the hope to die part. Seems a bit too much."

I laughed. I liked Jessica.

"Okay, well the secret is I like your aunt a lot too. And you can call me Tony."

"Rad. But you better treat her right Mr. Fal . . . Tony. She needs somebody good in her life."

"She's got you Jessica."

"That's all fine and good but she needs somebody to love her and treat her right like my dad did with mom."

"I don't know if she'll let me. She's pretty angry with me right now."

"Then you better fix things before she goes off you. I've seen her angry and if you don't she'll use it as an excuse to stop seeing you."

"I want to but how do I do it if she won't talk to me."

"You're a smart guy. Figure out a way. I gotta go my phone is ringing. It's probably her."

Jessica was gone before I could ask her to put in a good word for me. I hoped I could figure it out. The first step might be talking with Ms Lukes. I took the card Christina handed me and stared at it, considering what to say to her and how to say it.

i wasn't going to burden Jessica with my problems but I'd promised her I'd call. I may not have wanted to talk about my problems but apparently my niece had no problem at all with it. It's not funny being lectured to by a 16 year old!

She already knew something was wrong so she must have talked to Tony. She made that clear a moment later when she told me she'd told him the same thing, basically to get our shit together, though I hope she didn't use quite such graphic language with the man that was her host for the next two weeks!

"Auntey you need to get off your high horse and let people help. That's what friends are for.What has your stupid pride gotten you except a tiny corner office that you hide away in.

Mom said you were way smarter than her but I'm not so sure. Mom would never have let herself be hidden away like something to be ashamed of!"

"You don't know what it's like Jess. It's only my brain that they want. If they could hook me up to a computer they'd be happier."

"You think I don't get the same shit at school? Living with a man pretending to be a woman is the nicest thing some of the other kids say. I found out who my real friends are pretty quick. They know I'm proud of you auntey. Don't make me be ashamed."

"I didn't know it was so bad. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm not. You moved across the country so I wouldn't have to leave my friends or change schools. If it wasn't for you I'd be in foster care. Don't wimp out on me now."

She was just like her mother. Sis always stood up for me too. Maybe Jess and Tony were right. Maybe I shouldn't be just trying to survive until Jessica graduated so I could return to San Francisco. I'd been lulled into thinking I was accepted in SF so coming here was like throwing cold water in my face. I had just wanted to hide until I met Tony. He was the first person who saw a woman first AND second.

So what the hell was I afraid of? I knew my job was pretty secure, no matter what Dan and the Neanderthals who worked for him thought of me personally. I helped them make money and to these guys money came before everything, even sex. Because with money they could have all the sex they wanted.

Jess had shaken me up. That girl was wise before her time. I just hope Tony was prepared because Jess liked him already. No, don't go there. I am not competing with my niece for Tony's affections! It would be just like her to try and make me jealous so I'd give in to Tony.

I suddenly realized Jess had been talking and I hadn't heard a word she said. She laughed when I finally spoke and teased that I must have been daydreaming about a certain hunk. I told her to do her homework and leave me alone and hung up before the 'YES Ma'am' that I knew was coming.

I finally dialed Ms Lukes' number. I didn't know how much Dan had told his wife about why he fired me but I'm sure it would be different than what I told her. The phone rang several times and I was about to give up when she answered.

The first thing I said was that Christina had asked me to call her. I figured it didn't hurt for Ms Lukes to know that it was because of her I called.

"So she told you that I wanted you to come back to work for me."

"You yes, your husband no. I can't work for a man who goes against my instructions without even having the courtesy to tell me. I had to find out from one of my customers. No, there is no way for me to ever work for him and I don't need to. If he hadn't fired me first I would have resigned."

"That's a different story from the one Dan told me - after I found out from one of my best friends that he'd fired you. By the way Doris thinks the world of you. I took the liberty of making courtesy calls on several of your clients and they all said the same thing, that they loved you. I think some of the ladies would marry you if they could!"

I was glad she couldn't see my face because I was sure it was as red as a fire truck. Before I could say anything she continued.

"If it would make you come back I would fire Dan. I love the man but he does have his faults. I probably tend to ignore them more than I should. You can be sure that we are going to talk about this and there will be some changes made by him or else."

"I don't want you to fire him. He's a good manager except his desire to make money gets in the way of him making good decisions on occasion."

"Before we go any further Tony can you tell me how your mom is doing? I know you took the leave of absence to look after her."

"You mean you don't know? I thought Christina might have told you, my mother died today of complications from that fucking virus.

I'm sorry ma'am I didn't mean to say that. I'm just so angry and there's no-one to be angry at. She got the best care, it was just too much for her already weak heart. I know the hospital is one of the company's charities. I think I'd like my last check to go it."

"I'm so sorry. This phone call could have waited. Here I am talking about business when you should be spending the time grieving. Is there anyone there with you now?"

"No ma'am. Christina was here earlier. I'm afraid I may have exposed her before I realized it. She came to the hospital when she heard but has gone to her house to self-quarantine. I'll have to do the same. So, even if I wanted to I couldn't come back to work. And please don't hold it against Christina for getting exposed. She didn't know until it was too late. That was my fault."

"Don't worry about that. I'll speak to Dan and make sure it doesn't affect her job. Now I suggest a good stiff drink and go to bed. With your permission we'll talk again tomorrow. I have some ideas but now is not the time to talk about them."

"Thank you Ms Lukes. Please think about what I said before you do anything rash and tell Doris I like her too."

I hung up before I started to cry again. It was good to know my clients appreciated me and that Ms Lukes wanted me back but at the moment the only person I want is Christina.

I debated calling Dan to explain why I had left and why I couldn't come back. I thought about the panic I might cause if he lost an investment counselor his wife obviously didn't want to lose and his best analyst at the same time. I wish I was like Tony and could simply walk away. Instead I'd have to explain about getting exposed to the virus and having to self-quarantine. I definitely would not tell him that Tony was the reason. I could just imagine what he would be thinking and probably saying.

I was already regretting leaving Tony alone at a time like this. He couldn't even have friends come by to commiserate. I was the only one who could and I'd let my anger get the best of me and walked away. Jess was right, I needed to have my head examined. A talk with my therapist was needed, even if it was by phone. In fact I could call my old therapist. Given the time difference she might still be in her office.

She was in, but at home. Everybody in California was quarantined. Well at least we had a common starting point as I told her how I ended up self-quarantining. She made me ask myself why I had rushed to the hospital to see Tony if I was only going to turn my back on him. I didn't have a good answer.

I told her about my concern over getting too close to Tony before my surgery. she asked me what I was afraid of. I thought it was obvious, what was between my legs. Did Tony know? I didn't know, I hadn't told him I was incomplete. He didn't treat me like I was. Was I afraid to tell him that? Hell yes I was afraid. Afraid he'd reject me? Or that he wouldn't?

I asked about the surgery. She asked if I wanted it because it would solve my dilemma. I told her it wouldn't solve anything and she congratulated me on finally realizing that and that she'd already written the letter approving my gender affirming surgery subject to my current therapist concurring.

The last thing I expected after the day I had was hearing this! I just got the best news in my life on the day Tony's mom died. I wanted to share my news with him but how do you tell someone you are about to be reborn when he lost the woman who had borne him. My happiness balloon was just popped.

I decided to take Ms Lukes advice and poured myself a tumbler full of liquor from a dusty bottle that had been my dad's. Like him, I seldom drank except with clients to be sociable, so the large glass of straight liquor hit me hard.

I debated having a second but I was already wobbly from the day's events and it hit me hard. I climbed the stairs slowly and simply fell on my bed. I didn't bother to change. In minutes I felt myself slipping away. It seemed like only moments later that I woke to a sunlit room, a blinding headache and a ringing in my ears.

It took me a few moments to figure out the ringing was my cell phone. I wondered if Ms Lukes was calling already but it wasn't. It was Christina.

"What the hell did you say to Ms Lukes last night? I called Dan this morning to explain why I left yesterday and about having to quarantine myself and he told me he didn't care because I didn't work for him anymore! And then he hung up on me!"

I tried to make sense of what she was saying. Ms Lukes said she would take care of it when I told her about Christina being exposed but I didn't think she would have her fired! Either Dan had decided to defy his wife or there was a serious misunderstanding. I was sure I'd find out the truth from Ms Lukes but until then I had a very big problem with an angry, weeping woman on the phone.

I'd already pissed her off yesterday lecturing her about me helping her stand up to the bigots. She probably thought I had her fired so she'd come crawling to me for help. It was just the sort of thing a lot of guys would do just to get a girl in bed. Before I could say anything she shouted at me.

"I should have known you'd be like all the rest. As soon as I can make other arrangements Jessica will be moving out of your guest cottage!"

And hung up.

I tried to call back but she must have blocked my number. My headache disappeared in a blaze of anger. I knew I wasn't thinking straight but I needed to straighten this out. I threw on some clothes and drove to her house as fast as I could. I cooled off a bit before I got there which is probably the only reason I wasn't pounding on her front door.

I rang the doorbell several times until she shouted at me to go away. I tried to convince her to talk to me and I was raising my voice when I heard another voice behind me.

I just couldn't believe I'd been fired. I thought Ms Lukes wanted me to get Tony back. Did he insist on changes she couldn't or wouldn't make and decide to just chuck the mess and me with it?

After I called Tony to give him a piece of my mind for whatever part he played in ruining my future I couldn't hold back the tears. I was so close to my goal and to have this happen just when I needed the money the most.

The last thing I needed now was some door to door salesman as the doorbell rang. I ignored it hoping whoever it was would just go away but they wouldn't. I peeked out a window and saw it was Tony. I yelled at him to go away.

I was having flashbacks to when I was a kid and Billy Gates chased me home threatening to pound my faggoty ass for supposedly staring at him in the showers after PE.

I had hidden behind our locked door as he pounded on it making threats until a neighbor came out and told him to go away before she called the police. When my sister found out she had gone to the principal with the video from.the security camera our parents had installed. He'd been expelled from school as it wasn't the first time he had picked on another student.

With that memory floating around in my mind I reached for my phone and called 911. When they asked what my emergency was I could barely stutter that there was a man outside my door that wouldn't leave me alone. They asked if he was threatening me or if he was armed. I told them no but that he had been exposed to the virus. I didn't think to tell them I had too.

The officer must not have used his siren because minutes later I heard a deep voice asking Tony to step away from.the door. When I looked out the window I saw an officer wearing this face mask like a welder and gloves and holding what looked like a taser standing several feet from Tony.

I got worried and opened the door to talk to the officer. When I did Tony turned to my voice and the officer must have thought he was going to go after me. He shot his taser and hit Tony in the back! I'll never forget the look on his face as the taser hit and he fell face first convulsing onto the lawn.

I couldn't help it. I screamed and ran to him shouting his name, yelling, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" over and over as I tried to hold his face off the lawn.

I was about to speak to the officer when I heard the door open behind me and like a fool I turned to see Christina. Just then a mack truck hit me in the back and every muscle in my body contracted and then released. It felt like a giant charley horse and I knew I was falling but could do nothing to stop it.

I must have passed out for a few minutes as I woke up on my stomach on a gurney with a man telling me not to move. Hell, I don't think I could have if I wanted to. I could hear Christina's voice shouting, "I'm sorry," over and over again. I wanted to go to her but couldn't get my body to move. I just whispered to the man to tell her it's ok.

I was able to lift my head just enough as they put me in the ambulance to see her face. She looked so scared kneeling there in the grass. I tried to say, "I love you," when the doors shut and I was taken away.

I found it ironic to find myself wheeled into the very hospital I had left less than 24 hours ago. I went to lift myself from the gurney only to realize that one hand was handcuffed to the gurney. There wasn't much I could do about it at the moment. I was more concerned about the pain in my back. There must be barbs from the taser in my back. My observation proved correct as a nurse began cutting my shirt off and a young man in a white coat appeared and without comment carefully removed the barbs and bandaged the small puncture wounds.

An officer appeared and after a brief discussion with the doctor he came and unlocked the handcuffs. I noticed he was wearing gloves and a face mask just like the nurse and doctor. They must have known I'd been exposed to the virus.

To this point no-one had said anything to me about what happened. I suppressed the surge of anger seeing as how the last one had resulted in me being tasered. I rolled over and managed to sit up and asked the officer if I was under arrest and if so why.

The officer said no but he sounded unhappy about it. I asked him if he was the one who tasered me and he got defensive while admitting he had. I suspected he thought there might be repercussions. I asked him why and he said he thought when I turned that I was going after Christina. After all she had called 911 and reported he wouldn't leave her alone.

He must have been in an awkward position. If I really meant harm and he hesitated she might have been hurt. I'm sure if I wanted to I had a good case to sue the city but I didn't want to ruin a young man's career over a judgement call. As long as the city picked up the tab for the hospital I would be satisfied. I was more concerned with why Christina felt so threatened that she called the police.

As they took Tony away in the ambulance I just knelt there. Visions of Billy and Tony were comingled in my mind. I didn't realize how much I must have been traumatized by Billy's attack. It must have been a flashback. I never would have called the police on Tony but I did!

A voice penetrated the fog surrounding my thoughts. She might have been speaking to me for several moments before it registered. It was another officer, a female officer and what she was saying finally sank in. She was telling me I might want to go back inside and put more clothes on.

I looked up to see a small crowd of onlookers and I was kneeling there in my flimsy nightgown. At least I was wearing panties as I jumped up and rushed back into the house hoping no-one noticed the bump in my panties that had no business being there.

The officer trailed behind and asked if it was ok for her to come in. I shouted, "yes," as I made a beeline to my bedroom. As I quickly dressed I thought about Tony at the hospital again. It must be hell for him to go back there. Or did they arrest him? Was he sitting in some jail cell right now cursing the day he met me? I needed to speak to that officer!

When I came back the officer was standing by the door. I noticed she was wearing gloves and a mask. In fact all the officers and emergency personnel had been. Maybe the officer that used the taser thought he was trying to infect me! I tried to remember exactly what I had told the 911 operator. Or maybe it was just some preventative measure just in case. Whatever reason the woman wasn't taking any chances.

The first thing I asked was if they had arrested Tony. She assured me that they hadn't after determining he was not threatening me. My reaction had told them that I wouldn't press charges and was more likely to support him if he sued the police department. She didn't say that, she didn't have to.

My only thought now was the same one I had yesterday. I needed to go to Tony. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. The officer rushed out ahead of me when she realized I was coming. I just ran past her to my car. Luckily it wasn't blocked by Tony's car or her police vehicle. For a moment I thought she might try to stop me. That would be the ultimate irony, both of us tasered but she thought better of it and just watched me leave. Maybe she'd call them at the hospital. I didn't care, I needed to find Tony and tell him I was sorry.

Once again I was lucky not to get pulled over as I made it to the hospital safely. I parked and rushed to the ER entrance and there he was. I knew it was stupid but I ran to him and jumped into his arms. He nearly fell and grunted in pain but had a grin on his face a mile wide.

"Take me home you silly man!"

"I would but my car's at yours. Now just kiss me like you mean it so the officer doesn't taser you too!"

I'd been debating how to get back home or to my car. I wasn't sure if I would get in trouble if I went back for it. I was standing outside the ER entrance when a human projectile came at me and literally jumped into my arms and told me to take her home.

When Christina said those words I couldn't help but smile. It was almost worth being tasered to hear them. The officer who tasered me just looked at me like I was nuts. Okay, so kissing the girl who called the cops on you and got you tasered may not be the most rational thing to do but he wasn't the one getting kissed!

That reminded me of something.

"Do you mind if I ask you a question Christina?"

"Of course not unless it's too personal like my age."

She giggled a little at using such a cliche. Damn she had a cute giggle.

"Remember the night we met? I stood a ways away because I wasn't sure if you might have pepper spray or even a gun. It never occurred to me until now but you don't have a taser in there do you?"

She broke out laughing at my question. It took her a few minutes to recover and then she reached in her bag and though she didn't pull out a Taser™ she did pull something else out!

"What is that?"

"A stun gun. See?"

Suddenly there was a crackling noise and the smell of burnt ozone in the air. I must have jumped a foot in the air.

Neither of us noticed the reaction of the police officer until he politely asked Christina if she would please put it away. The whole time he had his hand on his holster. I don't think he found anything at all funny about the whole situation. I didn't either.

Christina carefully put it back into her purse. I just stared at her.

"I bought it the day after my car was vandalized for the first time."

"I thought for a moment you might have something in your purse but it never struck me that you might really have something like that! I suppose next you're going to tell me you have a black belt in some martial art too."

"No, of course not, but I did take a self defense course offered by the local LGBT chapter back in San Francisco. My therapist actually recommended it. She had taken it herself and thought it was a good idea."

"You are wealth of surprises Ms. Bowman."

I decided we better leave before there were any more surprises. I followed her to her car. I was still moving slowly and she didn't realize she'd left me behind until she got to the car and turned around after unlocking the door. She rushed back to me and grabbed me by the waist to steady me. I must have looked half drunk.

"Why didn't you tell me you were so weak? I would have brought the car around to you!"

"I figured it wasn't that far. I didn't realize you parked in the next county!"

I really sounded like a whiny teenager. I think she was going to say something but bit her lip and just guided me to the car door. I was glad to open the door and sit down.

I considered the best way to handle this. Macho man next to me had just proven that in one respect he was just like all the other guys - he hated to admit when he was hurting. If I left him alone and he got sick he'd probably try to tough it out just like he had done in the parking lot.

No, I needed to make sure he didn't do that. I didn't want the police finding him half dead or worse in his house when somebody finally noticed they hadn't seen him. And somebody, meaning me, needed to look after those wounds on his back. After all he couldn't reach them. As I was the cause of them it was only right that I look after him.

I'd drive him back to the house and pack my bags and then we would drive back to his home. Then I'd cook him the meal I'd promised him the other night. I started humming as I thought about what to cook.

"You do know what you're hummimg don't you?"

"What, it's just some song."

"Some song? I only recognize it because my mom had the 45. It's Chapel of Love, so you must know the song since you're humming it.
"Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married."

I cringed at his off key rendition and tried to make light of it.

"So? Can't a girl hum a song?"

"Sure you can. I was just curious as to why this one."

"Well, while you were passed out we were legally married. Turns out one of the paramedics was a minister and married us in case you died so I can inherit all your money."

"God, I love your sense of humor. . . . You were joking, weren't you?"

The look on his face was priceless. Jess would love it. I couldn't wait to tell her. I decided to embellish the story.

"Jess can't wait for us to adopt her so she can live in the big house and call you daddy. Husband and father in one fell swoop. A shame you were sort of out it, except for the 'I do' part."

"Now I know you're joking. Jessica would never call me daddy, she likes Uncle Tony much better because I can give her gifts but not boss her around."

"Wait a minute! Uncle Tony? What did you two talk about last night anyway?"

I needed to talk to that girl before she got me in real trouble.

Payback's a bitch. I started humming 'Maybe This Time.' Listening to all those records with mom was paying off. I found I could think about mom with a smile on my face now. She used to sing all the time when she was happy. I'd miss her but I'd always have those memories.

I remember how she used to tell dad, "let's go make some memories," and he'd smile and send me to bed. It was years later before I figured out it was their euphemism for making love.

I segued into 'Memories' and before I knew it Christina was humming it too. And then we were at her house. I looked at her to see what was next. She surprised me and invited me in this time.

"I'm going to pack. Why don't you fill the cooler in the pantry with anything in the refrigerator that might spoil and put it in your trunk. That way I won't come back to a smelly fridge."

I was beginning to think getting tasered was the best thing that ever happened to me. I only hope it wasn't just guilt on her part.

I located the cooler and did as she asked. It was a good thing I had a really large fridge because there was quite a bit. I tossed the odd leftovers in the nearby bin and then pulled the bag to take out to the garbage can. I would have taken the can out to the street but she might get in trouble with the neighbors if the garbage can was left out at the street for two weeks.

I was going back in to see if I could help when she came to the door with a large rolling suitcase.

"If you take that I'll go back and get the other two boxes. Jess used the other suitcases for her stuff."

I stopped her and went myself. I grabbed the two large boxes and slowly made my way to the door. She had already put the suitcase in her trunk. It seemed we would be taking both cars. After I dropped the boxes in her trunk she shut it and went and locked the door. She ran to the mailbox and grabbed her mail and left a note. I assume it was instructions to hold or forward her mail. This woman was definitely organized. I had a feeling my life was about to be subject to a major change.

As I locked the door I considered going in and checking the fridge just to be sure. Then I thought about how that would look to Tony, like I didn't trust him to do it right. I hated people like that. I didn't want to be one of those people.

As we drove off in our separate cars I was still debating whether I had made the right decision. When it came to my analyses I had no problem because I always had facts and figures to back them up. Here I only had my hopes and desires to draw on and I wasn't nearly as confident.

It was going to be difficult for Tony and I to be together for such an extended time without one or both of us letting our emotions get the best of us. We would need to establish some ground rules. I was big on rules. Rules protected me, rules limited the way people could hurt me as long as I avoided places or situations where they didn't apply.

I didn't go to bars or nightclubs, even TG friendly ones. They may be friendly on the inside but they were also magnets for troublemakers who liked to break the rules. And while I desired a relationship they weren't the place to find one. Of course I didn't expect to find one in the company parking lot either but I did!

BANG, CRUNCH, HISS!

"OH SHIT!"

I can't believe I just rear-ended Tony's car! Why the hell did he stop anyway? Oh, red light. Here he comes. I wonder if triple A covers stupid. He's holding his neck. Now I've given him whiplash.

"Are you alright? Do we need to call an ambulance? I'm sorry if I stopped so suddenly but there was this big red light. My bad."

Sarcasm? Really? And he was smiling. Probably thinking, hell, I don't know what he was thinking. I just put my head down on the steering wheel and resorted to the one thing women had been doing for centuries in situations like this, I cried.

The siren interrupted my sobs. I don't know what I did but of all the cops investigating all the accidents in this city HE had to come to this one!

"Please step out of the car miss. License and registration please. And very carefully pick up that stun gun with your thumb and forefinger from your purse and place it on the ground.

So, you followed this gentleman and smashed into his car? Seems like a case of road rage."

I started to say, "it was. . .," when Tony said, "all my fault officer. I noticed the red light at the last minute and stopped. I realized I was halfway into the intersection and backed up without thinking and hit Miss Bowman's car."

"Is this true ma'am?"

I mean what could I say but yes after Tony fell on his sword for me?

I wish I could say my motives were as selfless as Christina thought they were. In part they were because by admitting to being at fault I diverted attention from him looking at her license. I knew if there were more than a cursory glance and he saw the M that I suspected was in the box for sex the whole atmosphere might change.

Of course it would not only make him look at her differently but me too. After all she had just been hugging and kissing me at the hospital just a short while ago. Who knows what he would be thinking. I'm afraid I knew what I might be thinking and I was the one that loved her. There was still that part of me that was having a hard time getting around what my mind knew versus my heart. The mind was seeing those pics on the net, the chicks with equipment that shouldn't be there and yelling, "Christina's just like them!" My mind may say that but when we kissed MY dick said, "no way."

I just knew what the cop's mind would say if he knew and this little fender bender would turn into a gender bender. I'd rather pay a fine and for her repairs than try to repair our relationship if things went south.
I let the cop write me up a ticket for improper backing and when he gave it to me he looked over at Christina biting her lower lip, looking worried but sexy as could be and shook his head. I thought for a minute he was going to make some nasty remark about improper backing or being rear ended. Instead he asked if I knew what the hell I was doing. I still thought he'd made Christina but I was wrong.

"Listen I know this chick is hot but are you sure you can handle her? She's put you in the hospital once today and tried for a second. You don't think for a minute I believe you backed into her do you? I'm just going along because it's easier and less paperwork for me. I just hope you have good medical and that she's worth it because you will certainly need it!"

"Technically you put me in the hospital but you're right. She is a whole lot of woman."

I couldn't help it. I broke out laughing. He thought she was too much woman for me! At times I might agree but the heart knows what the heart wants and I wanted Christina.

Christina was waiting by her car for the same guy that had replaced her tires. I had saved his card and called him while the cop was writing me up. Her car was going to have to be towed.

The hiss of steam and the large puddle under her car said cracked radiator. Well, he'd have two weeks to repair it. I planned on having him check everything out and make sure it was in top running order. He told me on the phone that he had contacts with an excellent body shop and it would all be on one bill. I'd given him my platinum card number and said the keys would be waiting on the hood.

He asked why I just didn't hand them to him and I explained about the virus. He said he was prepared and not to worry. He'd have it ready when the two weeks was up.

I don't think the cop bought Tony's confession. I saw the two of them glance my way and then Tony laughed. Immediately I thought the worst, then I thought that Tony wouldn't do that to me. It's just so hard to trust people when you're like me. Despite the fact that I hadn't been read in years until I had the final surgery I knew I would worry. As if people had X-Ray vision.

My therapist said it was something most transsexuals dealt with, almost like PTSD, and that I would likely always have episodes of doubt about what the world saw but they would become fewer and farther apart as time went by.

When nothing further seemed to come of Tony's discussion with the cop I felt myself relax. I stopped biting my lip and smiled at Tony. Then my phone rang. It was Ms Lukes. I was really ready to give her a piece of my mind when I decided to bite my tongue and wait. My overreaction earlier to what her husband told me is what had gotten Tony tasered. I'd let her explain AND then give her a piece of my mind!

"I'm sorry I didn't speak to you earlier but I had to speak to Dan first since you were technically working for him. I'm sure he explained the changes I instituted to you."

"Oh yes he was quite clear about it. He couldn't wait to tell me I was no longer working for him. I'd thought I'd established a pretty good record with the firm. I understand getting myself quarantined could make things a little more difficult but I could still work from home. He didn't even mention severance pay or my unused vacation days!"

"Why would he need to do that?"

"Well you did tell him to fire me didn't you?"

"Fire you? Good heavens no. I promoted you! I decided we needed your analysis at corporate. The Investment firm is only a small part of my family holdings. We own banks, a shipping company, and several other smaller businesses all of which can benefit from your analyses."

I realized I'd been holding my breath and got light-headed. I was lucky Tony had come back to wait with me. He caught me before I hit the ground. I must have dropped the phone because suddenly Tony was holding it and talking to Ms Lukes.

"I'm sorry, the shock must have been too much for her after all that's happened today. I tell you what, let me get her back home with me and we'll teleconference from there.

Yes, I'm sure she'll be fine.

No I don't think it's the virus, just too much excitement. I'll explain it all to you later. Thanks for your concern Ms Lukes.

Okay, Tanya then. We'll talk soon."

He hung up the phone and put it in my purse. I was sitting in his lap. He was sitting on the curb holding me and I wanted to just stay there forever.

I was damn glad I hadn't spent more time talking with the cop or Christina might have hurt herself. It was obvious that something she heard on the phone had shocked her and caused her to nearly pass out. When I picked it up and heard Ms Lukes talking. I really didn't have time to deal with her but tried to be polite as possible. I'd find out what the hell was going on later. Right now my only concern was Christina.

I asked her if she was ok. Did she need to lay down or drink some water? She just hugged me and looked up at me and I saw the tears in her eyes.

"I owe you a big apology Tony. I got things all wrong and I blamed you. You didn't deserve what I put you through, none of it! I wouldn't blame you if you dropped me right here and left."

"What, and go through all this for nothing? You don't get off that easy girl!"

She looked so forlorn I did the only thing any guy would do, I kissed her and gently wiped away the tears. Life had really done a number on her self esteem. When she talked about numbers and business she was self-assured but take away that crutch and she was easily hurt and lashed out.

I'd seen kids who'd been bullied in school and hated what it did to them. I was lucky. I was big and strong but I didn't think that entitled me to beat up on other kids. I did what I could to stop the bullies when I could though, my dad had taught me that.

Christina must have suffered a lot of bullying during her childhood and it showed. Still, it must have taken tremendous internal fortitude to come out as transgender and become the beautiful woman I held in my arms.

Christina was a puzzle I desperately wanted to solve. At this particular moment though I was just picking up the pieces.

I felt bad before but now that I'd spoken to Ms Lukes I felt even worse. Of course Dan didn't help by implying I'd been fired, but it was my own insecurity that led me to that conclusion. Just the night before I'd been thinking I was too valuable an asset to fire and yet when Dan made the statement 'that I no longer worked' for him' I had assumed the worst. And look where it led! Tony gets tasered and then I hit his car and he takes the blame, gets a ticket and is even paying for my repairs.

Right now the most important thing was to get Tony home before anything else happens so I can feed him like I had promised last night. Neither of us had eaten so far today and my stomach was making funny noises that made Tony laugh. Though given our history he may need one of those royal food tasters in case I accidentally poison him!

When I hit Tony's car it had popped the trunk but he just tied it down with some wire and said he'd have the same mechanic that was repairing my car fix it later.

He had arrived with his tow truck so Tony had to move his car. The police car was still behind mine waiting for it to be towed. I'm sure after all that had happened today the cop was glad to see the backside of me. Tony told me what he had said so I gave it an extra wiggle just for him before getting in Tony's car.

It wasn't that much farther to his house. We could have walked except for my stuff. When we pulled up I saw Jess getting out of a car. It must have been the ride service Tony arranged though I don't think kissing the driver was part of the service.

I wanted to rush over and find out what the hell was going on but Tony put his hand on my arm to stop me.

"If you go over there and confront her what do you think is going to happen?"

"I want to know what has already happened. Those drivers have to be 21 to get a chauffeur's license and she's just sixteen. If he slept with her it's statutory rape!"

"You said she's emancipated? Then in the eyes if the law she's an adult."

"That makes no sense and it doesn't make it right!"

"You may also be assuming there was more than just a kiss. It could be completely innocent like me coming to your door today."

"That's totally different. I wasn't thinking straight."

"And you are now? Besides if you confront her then she'll have to quarantine too."

"That's not a bad idea."

" Whoa! You want to exposed your niece to the virus because of a kiss?"

"Damnit you're not supposed to be so logical. But I'm going to call her and find out what's going on!"

"Okay, okay but first let's get you settled and you need to talk to Tanya too."

"Yeah, what is it with that? Calling her Tanya? She got her sights set on you?"

"She said, as I wasn't her employee I didn't need to call her Ms Lukes, to just call her Tanya."

Sure and I'm the pope's daughter. She was a good-looking woman with all the right equipment and rich. If she thought I was going to give up Tony without a fight she better think twice! He's mine, and once I have my surgery I'm going to fuck him until he's too weak to ever leave me!

I grabbed him and thoroughly ravished his mouth. Take that, bitch! I left him sitting breathless in the car. Knowing he was watching me, I made sure to wiggle my ass seductively as I walked into his house.

Well I would have except I didn't have a key.

I don't know what the hell got into that woman. If I didn't know better I'd think she was jealous. That was some kiss she laid on me and that ass in her tight skirt. . . . It was going to take me a couple of minutes before I could get out of the car and not embarrass myself.

I picked the couple of boxes out of the back seat to help cover up my crotch. However when I reached the door I didn't have a hand free to get my keys. Christina decided to help me by fishing for my keys in my front pocket. I lifted the boxes higher as she reached in.

"Those aren't my keys!"

"Oops, my mistake."

She finally grabbed the keys and then bent over, shoving her sexy ass right into my crotch so I couldn lower the boxes and began wiggling it as she tried to find the right key. The damn woman was giving me a lap dance on my front stoop!

"Oh, there it is. It just needs to be put in and turned like this!"

With one final twist and grind she opened the door. I rushed in and dropped the boxes as I hurried to my bedroom to clean up and change my boxers. I was starting to regret inviting her to stay as she laughed and yelled after me that she'd get the rest of her stuff.

She was putting things from the cooler into my refrigerator when I returned, bent over again like she knew I was coming. Then I realized she could see my reflection in the glass door of the produce shelf. I could see hers too and the shit-eating grin on her face.

I reached above her for a cold beer and dragged it along her back, purely by mistake, as she jumped and dropped the eggs she was holding right on her shoes.

I don't know how I resisted saying, "the yolk's on you." Maybe it was the look she gave me when she turned around. Two can play this game. I started singing.

"How d'ya like your eggs in the morning?

I like mine with a kiss."

I thanked my mom again for singing all those old songs as I channeled Dean Martin.

She laughed as she turned and kissed me. At the same time she rubbed her shoes on my trousers, the scamp. I couldn't believe it when she actually had the nerve to say, "I guess the yolk's on you." There ought to be a law!

We'd been musically jousting already and I know I was losing but couldn't resist one more try after he groaned at my yolk joke. So I whispered in his ear in my best seductive voice.

"Well he's not very handsome to look at.
Oh he's shaggy and he eats like a hog.
And he's always killin' my chickens
That dirty old egg-suckin' dog."

Tony's body shook and I was worried for a moment until I realized he was trying to keep from laughing and not succeeding.

"My god where did you learn that song?"

"From my sister. She was a big Johnny Cash fan."

"Do you know how much these pants cost?"

"No, but if you hum a few bars I'll try and sing it!"

I saw him reaching for more eggs and jumped into his arms. He staggered back several steps. I knew the eggs were out of reach now and was going to drop back to the floor but Tony had other ideas. This was getting out of hand quickly. It's why I didn't want to stay. I pushed him until he let me go and then he gave me that woeful puppy look, like I took his favorite chew toy away.

"Enough. It's my fault for starting it. I need to talk to Ms Lukes and my niece. You need some rest. I promised to cook for you too, so go lie down."

"I will, I promise, after your talks. Tanya asked me to talk too and I want to make sure you don't go all over-the-top with Jessica. After all I'm going to be her daddy."

It figured he'd turn that little joke back on me. Men!

I wondered if Ms Lukes would consider it unprofessional if I called her while sitting on Tony's lap. Damn, if only that paramedic had really been a minister.

I needed to get a grip here. I just wanted to put my brand on him before we spoke to that woman. That woman who promoted me, I reminded myself. I think I needed to talk to the endocrinologist about my hormone levels!

Tony had gently grabbed me by the waist and walked me into the study, sat me down on a comfy sofa and called Ms Lukes. Until her face popped up on the screen on the wall I had no idea we were video conferencing. And he let her see me like this! I could just kill him right now only Ms Lukes would be a witness. She was a woman, she'd probably understand and help me bury the body.

"Hi Christina, Tony. I'm glad you called before Dan got home. I wanted to get some things said before he was around.

First of all, Tony, I let Rick Wilson go. Yes, I know he was a big earner, but I can't have someone like him in the office. He's like a cancer and I didn't want him spreading his kind of work ethic around. That's probably one of the reasons Dan was like that on the phone. Despite my money, he likes to be independent and I can't really blame him.

I know too many wives who are totally dependent on their husbands so I encourage him. Maybe too much so. I've found out a few things that don't make me happy. I'm only telling you this so you understand I had no idea he fired you Tony. And when I found out why. . ."

"You don't need to explain Tanya. I've dealt with guys like Rick and your husband before. I just hated the way they treated my clients and Christina."

Tony smiled at me and put his hand on mine. Ms Lukes frowned. I thought it was because of his gesture. I was wrong.

"That's why I decided to split the investment firm into two divisions. As much as I hate to admit it Dan makes our clients money and along with that so do we. But most of his clients are in it for the short term and only risk funds they can lose. They don't trust us with all their investments for that reason.

Your clients, on the other hand, often invest all they have and trust you to protect their investment and income. Dan doesn't differentiate between the two. To him they are all just ATMs."

I could feel Tony tense up and then relax his grip on my hand as we listened and I didn't argue. This was a lot like what Tony had said to me when I got angry with him for defending Dan. Ms Lukes and Tony recognized this was a part of the business which is probably why she was the Chairman of the Board instead of one of her brothers.

I wish Tanya would get to the point. It was all well and good to tell us she'd fired that asshole Rick and was splitting the investment firm but while I had a clue why she wanted to talk to me she still hadn't said anything specific. I could understand that Christina needed to know because she would probably have to break out different parts of her analyses depending on which division they were for so that's probably why she wasn't working for Dan anymore. I do know Christina was smiling.

Finally Tanya got down to brass tacks and made me an offer to come back. I figured she'd want me to work for the new division as most of my clients fit the description of its client base. What I didn't expect was for her to ask me to run it!

I could tell by Christina's reaction that she was surprised too. Then she shocked me even more when she told me that Christina would have worked for me but that since we seemed to be a couple that she was going to be working directly for the corporate office.

I looked at Christina and she wasn't surprised so that must be what Tanya had told her on the phone earlier when she nearly fainted.

Tanya showed how perceptive she was when she told Christina she had no designs on me and that despite his faults she loved Dan. Christina blushed and now I understood that she had perceived Tanya as a threat and really was a little jealous.

I thought about teasing her about it and thought better of it. I wanted to live to see tomorrow. Maybe that cop was right!

I was so embarrassed. Ms Lukes certainly had me pegged. It was like she read my mind. I looked at Tony. He grinned and looked like he wanted to say something but didn't. Smart man.

Tony still hadn't given Ms Lukes an answer. I quietly reminded him what happened to his clients this last time he abandoned them. I know he felt responsible for how many of them were treated. A little guilt trip never hurts. Besides Ms Lukes was probably too polite to say he left his clients hanging. Not intentionally but it was his lack of control that allowed Dan and Rick to try and churn his clients.

Okay so maybe my whisper campaign included a little blowing in his ear and a nibble or two but Ms Lukes pretended not to notice though I detected a small grin that Tony most likely missed. It was all in his best interest of course.

I was so engrossed in my work that I almost missed Ms Lukes next comment about not just being in charge of the division here but across the nation. She was really serious about this. He managed to squeak out a yes and then she turned her attention to me.

I didn't know the CEO's of the other divisions were reading my analyses. They apparently liked them but wanted ones more specific to their needs. At least that's what Ms Lukes said. She wanted me to lead a team of analysts that could cross-reference events in other industries or like the current pandemic. She felt my talents were being underutilized. She'd read my master's thesis on 'the correlation of unrelated events on the world economy.'

I thought my professors were the only ones who had read it but one was an old friend of Ms Lukes and had sent her a copy. It was why the San Francisco office hired me!

She said she'd speak to both us in more detail later and hung up. I could see her laughing as Tony kissed me just before he managed to find the button to shut the call off.

I fended him off - eventually. I reminded him I had another kiss I needed to discuss, the one my niece planted on her driver. Tony settled back and called the cottage.

Jessica must have been in the kitchen snacking as she tried to hide the donuts in the distinctive pink and white box out of the view of the camera. She knew I loved donuts and probably felt bad that she couldn't share. I could see the powdered sugar on her lips.

"Hi auntie. How come you're at Tony's place again? I thought you were staying at the house?"

"A slight change of plans. We can talk about that later."

"Does it have anything to do with your lipstick all over Tony's ear and face?"

I was beginning to hate video conferencing!

"Never mind where my lipstick is, I want to talk about where yours is!"

"Oh, you saw that."

"Yes, we did. Those drivers are too old for you and I have a mind to call the company to register a complaint."

"It won't do you much good auntie. . . . "

"Don't tell me what I can or can't do young lady."

"I'm just trying to tell you it wasn't a driver from the ride service, that was Peter from my theater arts class. We have the lead roles in the spring school play. Or we had them. The rumor is that they are going to cancel classes after Spring Break for the rest of the month!"

"That's a shame but doesn't explain the kiss and don't tell me you were practicing for the play!"

I felt Tony's hand on mine again as he spoke.

"I think your aunt is just concerned for your well-being Jessica. As you can see you're not the only woman in the family that has been doing a little kissing. Like her, I'm concerned because I know young men and just want to be sure you don't make a mistake."

I nodded in agreement.

"Tony's right. . .."

"My only mistake was you two seeing us kissing. Just because you're over there making out like horny teenagers doesn't mean I am!"

Jessica disconnected the call and I sat there.

"Well that was us being told wasn't it."

"You're a big help. I have half a mind to go over there and. . . ."

"And what? She's a sixteen year old girl. It was just a kiss. If you press her on it, it becomes more than a simple kiss."

He was right. I hate it when that happens.

"You can call her back later, when you've calmed down. Now you said something about cooking me dinner? I hope you didn't need too many eggs because somebody dropped some."

"You, you. . . "

She chased me out of the kitchen. I ran in the bedroom with her right behind me. She stopped and told me to take off my shirt so she could check on where I had been hit by the taser. I knew she was going to bug me until I did so I carefully took off my shirt. Sitting in the car and on the sofa had aggravated the dull ache. I heard her intake of breath as she saw the bandage.

"You're bleeding. Lie down on the bed and let me look."

I felt her climb on my lower back and peel back the dressing.

"Ugh, this needs to be cleaned and rebandaged."

She hopped off the bed and found my bathroom and checked the medicine cabinet. I heard her rummage around until she found what she wanted. From my position I couldn't see what she was doing. I just surmised from the noises.

She returned and climbed on my back again and began dabbing with a wet cloth to remove the dried blood. Then she applied some antiseptic that, thankfully didn't sting. I didn't think Christina would like being bucked off the bed.

She applied a couple of small gauze pads and taped them in place. She seemed happy with her work. Then I felt her fingers on my neck and shoulders as she attempted to give me a massage. I didn't have the heart to tell her she didn't have a future as a massage therapist. I still appreciated the effort.

It was a reach to get to my shoulders and I felt something else brushing my back, two somethings. She pushed me back down when I tried to turn.

"You just relax and go to sleep. I don't need you bugging me while I cook."

I realized this was a battle I didn't want to win so I let her continue her efforts. Despite her inexperience I must have fallen asleep. I woke to some tantalizing odors emanating from the kitchen. I threw on a shirt before I looked down at my egg-stained pants. Those had to go. So I took them off and put on a pair of sweats.

The pants were already beginning to stink and I realized there must be egg all over my bedclothes too. I stripped the bedcovers and gathered th them up with my pants and took the bundle to the laundry room.

I passed by the kitchen and peeked in. Christina was hard at work stirring something on the stove, her pert little ass wiggling to some tune in her head. She'd changed too, into a tee and shorts, very tight shorts. I stood there for a minute captivated by the dance, tempted to join her. The bundle of dirty things in my arms stopped me. They weren't the only dirty things that needed washing. I moved on before she saw me.

I sensed someone behind me. I turned and caught a glimpse of Tony hurrying away. I wondered how long he had been watching me. No matter. I turned my attention back to the stove and the sauce. It had been marinating for over an hour and smelled almost as good as my sister's.

Jess liked it but I knew every time I made it that it reminded her of her mom. She insisted it was fine but I saw the sadness in her eyes. She wasn't yet at the point where things like this brought back happy memories instead of sad reminiscence.

So I was taking the opportunity to share it with Tony. I had forgotten his family was Italian. He probably loved his mom's sauce. Several times in the past hour I had debated dumping the sauce and making something else. How could I have been so stupid!

"Something smells good."

I felt Tony nestle his fingers in my hair as he grabbed the spoon from me.

"And it tastes good too."

He tasted the sauce and then me and my lip sauce - I'd been sampling too.

"My mom would approve."

"Of the sauce or me?"

"Both."

I relaxed back into him as he said that. Then I shooed him out of the kitchen.

"No snacking before dinner or you won't get dessert!"

"Mmm, dessert. Can't wait."

He left me and I tried to turn my attention back to cooking dinner but the taste of him on my lips lingered.

The sauce could simmer a while before I cooked the meatballs and pasta. Now was a good time to talk with Jess.

I pressed the intercom button for the cottage and waited. I thought for a moment she might be ignoring me.

Suddenly the screen in the kitchen came alive. Jess had a bowl in her hand and I could see she had been eating.

"What's in the bowl?"

"Ramen."

"Ramen? I thought Tony told me the freezer was stocked with meals?"

"Guy food. Hungry Man dinners and Hot Pockets. I'd gain ten pounds in a week eating that stuff!"

"And the donuts?"

"Comfort food. What are you cooking?"

I tried to change the subject but she laughed.

"You're making him mom's spaghetti and meatballs aren't you."

My face must have been red from the heat as she smiled and I thought I should have called her on her cell.

"I wanted something filling. Neither of us has had much to eat today."

"And why is that auntie?"

I'd wandered back into the kitchen hearing voices.

"She was too busy talking about her new job with her new boss to think about food."

I didn't think she'd like to give Jessica the total story. Let her niece focus on Christina's new job. I left them to talk in private. I was sure Christina wanted to talk to Jessica some more about the new boy in her life.

I had some fences to mend. I didn't break them but I did need to fix them. Clients can be very fickle and easily take offense if they feel they are being mistreated.

I started with the ones that had spoken to Tanya and Christina directly. They were happy to hear from me and had lots of questions. The first thing I told them was I was back to work but with a new title and a new division of the firm.

A few had questions about the rumours and I told them straight out that, yes, I was seeing Christina. It wasn't my place to discuss her sexuality but as far as I was concerned she was two things. First and foremost she was a woman in my eyes and corporate. Secondly, her ability as an analyst, so good that she had been promoted out of the firm to work directly at corporate headquarters. I assured them that I would still have access to her analyses and, like before, use them to make the best choices for them and their goals.

A few weren't happy and nothing I could do was going to change that. It was part of the fallout from Rick's sabotage.

I still had a number of clients to call when Christina poked her head into the study and said dinner was ready. My stomach answered by grumbling loudly.

I thought she might have set things up in the dining room and headed there only to find it empty. So much for my ideas of a romantic dinner by candlelight. I entered the kitchen to find places set at the kitchen counter. Mom's simple Melmac™ dishes and ordinary silverware the extent of her setup.

Sometimes my mind gets ahead of the facts. I still barely knew her. She was still in her shorts and tee and in bare feet. I noticed her shoes on the end of the counter. She had obviously been trying to scrub the egg residue from them with little success. I walked over and picked them up and holding them away from me dropped them in the trash bin.

"Hey, those were my favorite shoes!"

He did it again, just like with my tires! I knew it was hopeless. I'd scrubbed as best I could but the egg had gotten into the fabric and they were a total loss. But they were my shoes!

He just grinned at me. God that grin should be registered as a deadly weapon!

"No shoes. I have you just where I want - in my kitchen and barefoot."

"So that's how you like your women? Barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen?"

" Well you're already barefoot, we'll have to work on the rest."

And just like that reality slapped me in the face. I could never be that woman. He must have seen my expression change because he just grabbed me and held me. He was murmuring in my ear but I wasn't listening. I was too lost in my pity party.

I kept hearing those words from men and women I thought were my friends, "you'll never be a real woman." Just a few words but they hurt like hell. I knew I was a real woman. I think Tony thought I was a real woman but it was moments like this that brought those doubts back to the surface.

I knew Tony didn't mean it. It was one of those 'it's not you it's me' moments. My new therapist had warned me about reading too much into people's offhand comments. It was hard when you were on a journey like mine. You tended to see pitfalls and traps everywhere and your trust in people was seriously damaged.

It was moments like this that I wished I could just forget Chris ever existed and enjoy it for what it was. Maybe after I was complete I could. I hoped I could, I prayed I could. If not my journey was for nothing.

Tony was still holding me. Still crooning in my ear. I didn't care what the words were, it was the feeling behind them that finally brought me out of my funk.

"Where did you go Christina? Please don't go there again. Stay with me here!"

I kissed him to reassure him.

"Let's eat before it gets cold."

Tony still looked worried but he lifted me on to a stool and then himself. Grabbing the pasta he dished out a healthy portion on my plate before doing the same for himself. I dished out the meatballs and sauce and he took a bite and smacked his lips and actually said, "mama mia, that's a spicy meatball."

"I appreciate the sentiment but you do know that came from an Alka Seltzer commercial don't you?"

Her sauce was good, better than mom's but not as good as dad's. Cooking was his hobby, his release from the stress of the construction business. Sunday belonged to him and mom was only too happy to have the day off.

I think Christina would have liked him. He was the one who taught me to cook. He'd pretend he was Clemenza from the Godfather (we always laughed at everything wrong in that movie) and say, " C'mere Tony you might learn something." That was the signal that he used to tell me he was going to share something important. On Sundays it was how to make the sauce.

While I would cook for Christina I wouldn't make the sauce. I could tell she was proud of her cooking and she was definitely a better cook than a massage therapist.

"The only reason I would need Alka Seltzer is from eating too much of this. You'll make me fat. I hope you like having a fat boyfriend!"

"I guess you shouldn't have dessert then."

I forgot about dessert. I wondered what she had time to prepare.

"I wouldn't want to disappoint you after going to all that trouble. What's for dessert?"

"Cherries Jubilee and it's calorie free."

"Sounds delicious. I can't wait to taste it."

"Actually you already have. It's the name of my new lip gloss."

Two weeks! We'd be together in this house for two weeks and this was just the first day? I really liked her but was she overreacting to the first man that showed an interest? Was she so starved for affection that she was desperately grasping for it? I was out of my depth and I knew it.

I really liked her. Hell, I think I loved her but now I was unsure. We'd barely spent any time together yet it was like she fit in all the right places. I wish mom were here to talk to.

She was staring at me, waiting for my reaction, those cherry red lips begging for my attention. I was frozen for a moment as my mind and heart battled. There was never any doubt as to the outcome.

I didn't say anything. I just pulled her off the stool and into my embrace and thoroughly tasted those luscious lips.

She tensed when I first grabbed her even though she had invited me to do just that. Our previous kisses were nothing like this. Maybe it was the sauce but that kiss set my tongue on fire and she seemed determined to smother it by sucking all the air out of my body!

I finally broke the seal to come up for air. I opened my eyes to see her looking at me wide-eyed. I think even she was surprised by the intensity of the kiss. Until then I hadn't even noticed her hands were still clamped to the back of my head, ready to pull me back in.

As much as I wanted to repeat that kiss again and again, I gently reached up and took her hands, pulling them in front of me and kissed them. I was afraid she'd think I was rejecting her but I needed time to think before we passed the point of no return. I don't think either of us was ready for that.

I honestly don't know what possessed me. The Cherries Jubilee lip gloss was just my idea of a little joke. I was waiting for him to laugh. Instead he grabbed me. For a moment I tensed up, thinking the worst. By now there was no reason to do so except out of habit.

Then he kissed me again and I lost it. I always laughed at the phrase 'suck face' until I did it. I just wanted to take him all in, in the only way I could. I had barely been able to control myself earlier in his bedroom,
going topless while giving him a massage. I was ready to run at the least sight of him getting up or turning over. My little nipples could have left scratch marks. Thank god he had fallen asleep.

He was awake now and my chest actually hurt. I wanted his hands on me but instead he had pulled me to him and then just when I was getting ready to renew my attack on his mouth he pulled my hands away.

It wasn't rejection. I was way too familiar with that reaction. It was more like that construction guy on the highway holding up the slow sign. In a way I was glad. I wasn't ready to pursue the natural end point of my sexual arousal, not until I was complete and I wasn't sure Tony was either.

I think we both wanted more but were afraid. No, make that cautious. I wasn't afraid of Tony. He knew who I was and that I wasn't able to give him the satisfaction he was entitled too. He wasn't pressing me for more but I wasn't sure why. maybe for the same reason.

Sure, I'd read that if a guy really loved you, they'd love you just as you are. If that's the case would he have loved me as Chris? I don't think so. If that piece of meat between my legs disgusted me why should I expect Tony to feel any differently?

Those stories were just a crock, pipe dreams and wishful thinking. Yes, there were guys who liked chicks with dicks. Unfortunately they usually don't like them without them. I don't think Tony fit in that category. He wanted me as a physical woman and I wanted to be one.

It was as if we had come to some unspoken mutual agreement to stop. There was a moment of silence before she said she needed to put the rest of the sauce and meatballs in the fridge. And just like that we were back to ourselves.

I still wanted her but I have gotten my libido under control. I wasn't that 15 year old schoolboy anymore. It was great that Christina made me feel that way but I didn't have to act like one. We had time and I am going to use these next two weeks to learn all about this woman.

The best thing was she didn't look disappointed. She may have been as relieved as I was. I still had a lot to learn about girls like Christina. Like every other girl she was a mystery to me. They are just a different species and we men will probably never figure them out.

That's one of the reasons I knew Christina was a woman. If she was really a guy I'd have had him figured out in an instant. I know guys, I know how we think, gay or straight, we are still guys. we think with our dicks. If Christina still had one she never thought with it. It wasn't part of her psyche. I have the wounds on my back and the taste of her lips to prove it.

I noticed her eyeing the trash bin.

"No, the shoes stay there. I'll buy you another pair just like them. Ten pair, but those puppies are history."

And just to emphasize the point I scraped the remaining sauce and pasta from our dinner plates over them. Women and their shoes!

"Those were my favorite shoes. I loved those shoes."

"So we'll take them out in the backyard and burn them. A real Viking funeral. We can even add my pants. That ought to confuse the gods."

She giggled. Girls must go to some special class to learn that. 'How to disarm a guy in ten easy lessons. Lesson one, the giggle.' I pictured a room full of girls practicing their giggles and laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"It's a guy thing. You wouldn't understand."

I fell in love with him again. It was just another innocent remark, the kind that guys make to girls all the time. It was just the perfect thing to say. He had no idea where my thoughts had gone earlier but in his misbeguided way he had found a way to slap reality back. To help me center myself again.

Guys can screw up things in so many ways and then say just the right thing to make up for it. I guess that's why we put up with them. Well that and certain other attributes that are often hard to ignore, my thoughts drifting back to sitting on Tony's lap.

"Those were Jimmy Choos!"

"You can choose another pair online or wait until I can take you to the Choo store."

"That was bad. Is this what I have to look forward to for the next two weeks?"

"Get used to it."

"I have a stun gun."

I laughed as he blanched a little.

"So now it's a pun gun?"

"Where did I put my purse? Did you hide it?"

"Guilty as charged. Oops, bad choice of words."

I couldn't help it, my giggles turned into laughter as I punched his arm.

" 0w! What was that?"

"A bad punch!"

"It wasn't that funny but I guess we're both a bit punch drunk."

'I definitely need my purse!"

His joking around was making me feel better. There were far worse people to be quarantined with. I bent to put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher and regretted it instantly as he whistled.

"I see you're still looking for a fight."

Puzzled, I walked right into it.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you were putting up your Dukes. And they are definitely a dangerous weapon."

"I swear, if I had my purse. . . "

"Personally I would prefer it if you turned the other cheek."

"If I stabbed you with a knife any jury in the world would find it justifiable homicide."

My sister used to groan at my horrible puns. She would have been tickled to see Tony give me a taste of my own medicine.

Much as I wanted to continue this battle I had work to do. I needed to catch up on events in preparation for my new job and I know Tony needed to call more of his clients. I had grabbed my laptop from one of the boxes and headed for the living room so he could use his study.

Before I did I asked him for the wifi password. I didn't think I could be any more embarrassed when he gave it to me.

"I updated it the other day. Let me write it down for you."

He handed me a slip of paper and I just looked at it and him. On the paper he had written out: Christinaisthe1

I'd changed my wifi password the day she'd turned me away. I never expected she'd ever see it. Well, my secret was out now. I looked at her to see her reaction. At least she wasn't shaking her head no. Instead she was clutching the small bit of paper to her chest like her favorite doll.

With a mumbled 'thanks' she turned and almost ran into the living room. I may have been wrong but I thought I heard a bit of sniffling. Surely the password couldn't have bothered her that much!

I seemed destined to either make her cry or angry enough to use her stun gun on me. Speaking of which it might not be a bad idea to hide that, at least for the next two weeks. There were plenty of other weapons at hand without letting her have that one!

Back in my study I made a few more calls. A couple told me that Rick Wilson had called them ranting about how that tranny-loving pervert had gotten him fired and they needed to change firms.

. This was serious. I decided to call Dan. Who knows what else he was saying to his regular clients.

Dan wasn't very happy to hear from me. I suspected rather than telling Rick he was fired for bad-mouthing me and Christina to clients he had simply told Rick he had been ordered to fire him. It was true but he probably sat there and sympathized with Rick.

He got angry when I told him about what Rick was doing but he was just as angry with me as Rick.

"Can you blame the guy? He gets canned for telling the truth and you lie about him and get him fired."

"Let's get one thing straight. Rick Wilson got Rick Wilson fired. I didn't say a word to your wife. One of my clients is a good friend of hers. She told your wife what he said to her and when she told him to 'fuck off' he went into a big rant and called her all sorts of names. Just ask your wife about Doris."

I hung up. There was no point saying anything more. I suspected that he knew it was true. Doris was a no-nonsense woman who'd gone to school with Tanya and was the maid of honor at her wedding. She'd told me all this while telling me how much I reminded her of her late husband. Tanya was right, I think she would have married me if she could have figured a way to get me to the altar.

After several years I'd gotten used to widows and divorcee's having more than a business interest in me. The priest at my old church in Jersey, Father Kelly had commiserated with me over some Irish coffee while discussing the problem. He'd told me I had it a lot worse. His collar kept him from more than Sunday dinners and tea.

"Besides I only look after their immortal soul. You, my friend, look after their money. And that, Tony, puts you one step up from God!"

As I typed in the password I couldn't help the small sob that escaped. I wished I could really be the one but just knew Tony would come to his senses sooner or later. I hoped for later to at least create some positive memories. I certainly hoped it at least lasted the rest of the two weeks.
I tried to concentrate on getting up to date with everything that was happening. I was a voracious reader but tonight I had to keep going back to reread things. It got so bad that I just bookmarked pages I thought were interesting and decided to go to bed.

I passed the study where Tony was still on the phone. I tilted my head on my hands in a sleeping sign and he smiled and mouthed good night. I wondered who he was taking to this late at night until I looked at my phone and saw it wasn't even eight PM.

I passed his mother's room, the bedroom opposite it had been the nurse's. She had left when it became obvious that his mother would not be coming home. He could have given me that room but instead gave me the bedroom opposite his further down the hall.

It was roomy and like all the bedrooms had its own bathroom. I decided to take a nice long bath. Shedding the Daisy Dukes I avoided looking down as I settled into a nice hot bubble bath. It was so relaxing I fell asleep and only woke when the water got cold. I showered quickly to wash away the residue and patted myself dry with the big fluffy towels hanging on the warming rack. Tony's father had installed all the extra comforts in what was to be his last home.

I passed up my regular tee shirt and panties for a long silky gown. I was probably dreaming but just in case. . . I was so relaxed I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow.

The music must have woke me. I tiptoed to the door and peeked out. Tony's door was open. I went into the hall and checked his room but didn't see him. The music was coming from somewhere else. I could see a light coming from under the door of his mother's room. I padded down the hall until I was outside her door.

I could hear him softly singing and the catch in his voice. I debated going in but thought better of it. Let him grieve in private and in his own way. I went back to my room and shed the gown for my sleep tee.

I would call Tanya in the morning about Rick Wilson. I had several suggestions about how to mitigate the trouble he was causing. Just another headache added to a long list. I

Christina had the right idea, a good night's sleep. I headed for my bedroom when I passed mom's door. I still could not believe those bastards wouldn't release her body for two weeks.

I turned on the light and looked into her bedroom spotting the record player. Mom had a lot of old vinyl. I paused to flip through a stack of 45's. Many brought back fond memories. I slid one of her favorites out of its paper sleeve and put it on the turntable.

The smooth voice of her favorite singer wafted through the speaker. I settled down on the floor and leaned back against the bed and could hear my mom's voice singing along.

Que será, será
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see
Que será, será
What will be, will be

Mom loved and lived that song. She once said she wanted it played at her funeral and engraved on her headstone. I thought about Christina as the words rolled over me. It's just what mom would have said about us.

Time passed as I played record after record, many bringing back memories. I could just see her and dad dancing in their bedroom late at night while I listened in mine. I'd hear her laugh and know dad had dipped her once again.

I heard crackling from the speaker and shook myself awake as the record went round and round. I turned it off and wiped away the dried tears. Turning off the light I quietly shut the door again and left.

I stopped at Christina's door. I stood there for a moment about to knock and thought better of it. I'm not sure what I would have said if she answered. 'I was lonely and didn't want to sleep alone?' It sounded lame, even to me. Funny thing is I wasn't even thinking about sex, I just wanted to feel alive, to be close to another human being.

I crossed the hall to my room. After being with Christina all day it seemed lifeless and empty. I didn't even bother to change. I just threw myself down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.

A small twinge reminded me of the wounds on my back. I smiled as I recalled Christina bandaging them and then giving me that massage. I looked down and realized just the thought of her topless on my back had aroused me.

I fell asleep thinking of her massaging my front. It felt so real I half expected to wake finding her doing just that.

For once there wasn't a nightmare. I had those all to frequently since coming to Tampa. Tonight was different. I slept well and woke up refreshed, ready to challenge my new job.

The first thing was to learn more about all the Lukes's holdings so I could see how I could best help with my analyses. After breakfast of course. I threw on a tee and jeans and wandered out to the kitchen. It was early but I was used to devouring the morning news with my meal.

I was deciding what to fix when the doorbell and house phone rang at the same time. Tony was just about to walk into the kitchen. He asked me to get the phone while he got the door.

"It's probably the cleaning service. I forgot to tell them about us self-quarantining."

I said sure and reached for the phone.

"Hello, Falzone residence. May I ask who's calling?"

"This is the Tampa Police Department. Is Mr. Falzone there?"

"He's busy at the moment. Can I take a message?"

"Yes ma'am. It's very important that he get out of there. A Mr. Rick Wilson may be on the way there. He's armed and has already shot one person at his former place of business. We have police on the way."

As the man's words sunk in I dropped the phone and began to run, yelling to Tony, when a shot rang out.

I reached the front door just in time to see Tony slump to the floor as sirens blared and Rick ran away.

I screamed as I saw the blood pumping out of his chest. I ripped off my tee and pressed it to the wound.

"Please, don't die Tony. Please don't die."

I said it over and over like a mantra or a prayer.

Suddenly other hands were there and gently lifted mine away.

"We've got it from here ma'am. Please let us do our job."

There was chaos and voices all around me as I watched them put Tony on a gurney and into an ambulance and drive away. Jessica was there hugging me and police were trying to ask me questions.

I ignored them and grabbing his keys rushed to Tony's car. I drove over the grass to avoid all the police cars. I was aware they were shouting after me but I didn't care. I had to get to the hospital.

I pulled up to the emergency entrance and threw the keys at the valet and ran inside. I asked for Tony and the woman asked if I was family. I told her I was his girlfriend. She said he was in surgery and pointed me to a waiting room.

I must have been there for hours. I wasn't even conscious of wearing only my sports bra. My head was in my hands when I heard a doctor's voice in the distance.

"I'm sorry ma'am. We did all we could but he's gone."

I heard a woman screaming, "Nooooo!"

The woman was me.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. Somebody needed to turn off the damn alarm. I tried to reach for it but all I felt was pain. I decided to go back to sleep.

I opened my eyes again and there she was right above me smiling. Just like in my dream. She kissed me. Then there were more faces. I wanted to tell them to get out of my dream but I couldn't make my mouth work.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. Guess I had to get up and turn that damn alarm off myself! I tried to get up but it hurt again so I went back to sleep.

I opened my eyes again. There was a pretty face looking at me. She smiled but didn't kiss me. A good thing. I didn't want Christina to get jealous. I wondered how she got in my bedroom.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. I was going to throw that damn alarm clock out the window. If Christina bought it we were going to have words! Funny I never noticed the ceiling was white. Too bright. I closed my eyes. I'd just rest them for a while.

I heard voices. What were all these people doing in my bedroom? You'd think one of them would shut the alarm off! I tried to tell them to be quiet and let a guy sleep in peace but they ignored me. I decided, 'fuck em,' I'll just ignore them and go back to sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. Geez, can't a guy get some peace and quiet? I opened my eyes. This time I was going to find the infernal alarm clock and take a hammer to it.

Christina was there again. She was talking, no, she was crying. Her eyes were closed and she looked so sad. I reached up my hand to touch her cheek.

She jumped and screamed, "He's awake!" Of course I'm awake. Who can sleep with that godforsaken alarm going off! I stroked her cheek and she grabbed my arm and held it to her cheek.

And then it came back to me. I saw Rick's face. He yelled at me and I felt a horrible pain in my chest. He shot me! I heard Christina scream and she was saying something. I needed to warn her about Rick but my mouth wouldn't work.

I tried again but my throat was dry. Christina put something cold on my lips. It was wet. My tongue felt fuzzy so I licked the cold wet thing. I needed to talk to warn Christina!

"RICK!"

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEEEEEEEP. There was shouting and then Christina must have hit me with the stun gun! Why did she do that? I thought I hid it.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. Am I the only one who can hear that damn alarm?

They'd almost lost him. I was shoved out of the way as the nurse and doctor yelled for a crash cart. I was nearly run over by another nurse as she ran into the room pushing a cart.

Was I going to lose him after all? I could only watch and pray that I wouldn't hear those awful words again.

I had screamed then and some woman was in my face and slapped me.

"You must be the bitch my no good husband was seeing! Well the gravy train is ended. It would have even if he hadn't died since he got himself fired."

"Tony? I didn't know he was married and he didn't get fired, he quit."

"The lying bastard didn't even tell you his real name? It figures."

A nurse came over and grabbed the woman, pulling her away from me.

"Mrs. Wilson. That's Tony Falzone's girlfriend. The man your dead husband shot!"

The woman gasped and then started in on me again.

"You're the tranny faggot he told me about. Screwing things up for us regular women."

That got me pissed. I should have cut her some slack. After all, she had just lost her husband but he also was the one that shot Tony.

"If regular women were like you I can understand your husband looking elsewhere."

The bitch broke free of the nurse and the next thing you know we're rolling around on the floor until a couple of beefy security guards pulled us apart.

She tried to blame me but the nurse told the guards exactly what happened. She was escorted out the door with orders not to come back or be arrested for trespassing.

Now here I was again waiting and hoping. I sighed in relief as the monitor returned to a steady BEEP BEEP BEEP.

I wondered what got Tony so excited? I hope it wasn't seeing me or the doctors weren't going to let me near him again. Something had set him off. He'd been slowly waking up and I'd been giving him ice chips like the doctor suggested.

I swear he'd been trying to say something to me when things went crazy. The nurse was trying to get me to get up from the floor where I'd slumped down out of the way.

"He's going to be ok. I suggest you go home and get some rest."

She was wearing protective gear like everyone else. In all the furor surrounding the shooting I had forgotten about the virus. Rick Wilson's wife! We had been fighting. I may have exposed her to the virus. I didn't like her but she needed to know. Just another reason she'd have to hate me. I told the nurse.

Jessica too! I remembered her hugging me. I reached for my phone but I didn't have it. I asked if there was a phone I could use. The nurse asked if I could use Tony's phone. It had been in his pocket. She saw no reason why I couldn't.

I called Jessica's cell but there was no answer. Tony had his landline programmed into his phone. I tried that. I think it rang in the house and the cottage. This time she answered.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. My mind was clearer now. The sound wasn't my alarm clock but some kind of monitor. I could even make it go faster if I moved around. That brought someone running. It was the pretty face again. Where was Christina? I tried to ask. Pretty face put something wet on my lips and I sucked it up.

I tried to talk again. I was worried when I didn't see Christina. Had Rick found her? I managed to get some words out.

"Rick. Gun. Christina. Warn"

"Easy Mr. Falzone. Christina is safe. We sent her home to rest. You'll see her in the morning. Just rest. You've had a very severe trauma."

Pretty face's words sunk in. She must be a nurse.

"Hospital? Nurse?"

"Yes, I'm Samantha."

"Pretty face."

"Thank you. Now try to get more rest. I'm sure your girlfriend will be here when you wake up."

Sleep. It sounded like a good idea. Christina was safe. I still wondered why she used the stun gun on me. My chest ached. I closed my eyes. Pretty face said Christina would be here when I woke up.

BEEP BEEP BEEP. I opened my eyes and she was there, just like pretty face promised. She smiled. That made me happy. She was safe. But I still had to warn her about Rick.

I wanted to talk but she put her finger on my lips and said, "shhh."

"You were shot by Rick and you are in the hospital. You came very close to dying. I almost lost you!

Rick ran away after he shot you. The police chased him and he crashed and died."

Christina was safe. I was in the hospital. Rick is dead. I moved my arm again to touch her face. It hurt but I wanted to make sure she was real, that I wasn't dreaming. She just smiled and kissed me. I was happy.

Jessica had been waiting when I got home. She had told me over the phone that when she heard the sirens and gunshot she thought it was me that got shot. She was relieved yet scared when she saw them taking Tony away. She was happy to hear he was alive.

She didn't care that she'd been exposed. Of course she was young and invincible just like we'd all been once. It was good to have her loving arms around me. I nearly collapsed in them. She dragged me to my bedroom and helped me undress. I never even thought about it and she didn't say anything, she just crawled into bed with me and held me until I fell asleep.

I was up early but Jess had gotten up earlier. I showered and dressed. Someone during my stay at the hospital had given me a scrub top I needed to wash and return.

The tee shirt was still lying on the blood-stained tile by the front door along with medical detritus from the emergency services. I'd come in through the garage entrance and hadn't seen it until now.

It evoked memories of that awful moment. I'd have to get the names of the paramedics to thank them. I'm sure Tony would too. I'd clean it up before he came home. Right now I wanted to distance myself from the scene.

I found Jess in the kitchen having breakfast.

"I was going to make an omelet but there aren't any eggs."

Jess couldn't understand why I was laughing so hard. Had it really been only two days ago? I finally told her an abridged version of the story. She nodded like, 'yeah, tell me another one.' Kids!

I had some bagels and cream cheese. Some fresh juice and I was ready to head back to Tampa General. I knew I was supposed to stay home but nothing short of the police arresting me was keeping me from Tony.

So it was with complete surprise that I opened the door to the garage and when I went to back out found a police car in the drive and the same officer who tasered Tony and gave him the ticket standing by his squad car smiling.

"The department wanted someone to check on you and I volunteered. You probably didn't realize I followed you all the way to the hospital with flashing lights and a siren so you didn't kill anyone."

It was a little late for me to think about that. I waited as he wrote me a ticket. When he handed it to me all it said was 'tell your boyfriend I told you so.' I looked at him.

"He'll understand."

With that he smiled and left.

I drove at a much more sedate pace today as I noted his squad car in the rear view mirror until he turned off with a quick flash of his lights. I really needed to ask Tony what the hell the cop said to him.

I went up to Tony's room and a smiling nurse came out.

"He's doing good. He woke and asked for you. Tell him 'pretty face' would date him in an instant if you ever left him."

I laughed. I definitely had some things to talk to him about. 'Pretty face indeed!

He woke and I told him what had happened. All was forgiven when he smiled and we kissed. Forgiven but not forgotten.

Things had gotten a lot clearer since yesterday. It helped that I didn't have to worry about Christina. The nurses did tell me about her catfight with Rick's wife. I'm sorry I missed it. Maybe there was security footage. I'd ask.

Okay, I'm a guy, the idea of Christina and another women fighting kind of turned me on. As long as she didn't find out.

"Didn't find out what?"

Damn drugs! I never realized I was talking out loud. Lord knows what else I might have said!

"When I was able to go home."

"Nice try. I'm sure there's some good footage. If you want, maybe 'pretty face' and I can fight over you."

Totally busted. The bad thing was I was actually visualizing it. I must have smiled because she punched me in the arm.

"Hey, sick person here!"

"Wait until I tell her. I bet there's hundreds of ways a nurse can make your life miserable."

"You wouldn't do that to me."

Just my luck 'pretty face' walked into the room as she said that. This was definitely not my day.

"Do what to you?"

"Your heartthrob here was just visualizing the two of us fighting over him."

"Was he now?"

They were both staring at me. I hope Christina doesn't have that stun gun in her purse. Then they both giggled.

"The look on his face!"

I started to think they orchestrated this little performance. I decided two can play this game. Probably not the wisest decision on my part. It was probably the drugs. That's what I'm claiming anyway.

"I don't think mud in a hospital is very sanitary, but maybe a lot of baby oil and bikinis?"

"Ow, ow! Patient abuse!"

The nurse, whose name I finally found out was Samantha, looked at Christina.

"What do you think? Sponge bath with ice water?"

"Duct tape bandages?"

The two them turned to me and started cackling like the witch in The Wizard of Oz and I don't mean Glinda.

"I take it all back!"

I was saved by a knock on the door and a familiar face poking his head in. It was the security guard from the office.

"Is it okay if I come in for a moment?"

"Sure. You're saving me from these two and their nefarious plans for me."

He looked at me like I was nuts but came into the room. I noticed his arm was in a sling.

"I came to apologize."

"Apologize? Why?"

"For not stopping him. For you getting shot and nearly killed."

He was almost in tears. I didn't understand. Christina gasped.

"You were the one that got shot at the office!"

I realized Tony had no idea what had happened the day he got shot. I had only found out afterwards when I spoke to Ms Lukes. She called after I had been sent home by the nurse to check on Tony and me.

Because of the virus she wasn't allowed to visit either of us. The only reason they let me visit Tony was we were already self-quarantining with each other. That, and they would have had to lock me up to keep me from him!

I didn't know the details about how the security guard got shot so I prompted him to tell his story after both Tony and I assured him that we didn't blame him for Rick's actions.

"Well, you know Mr. Wilson was fired. He was really angry and after we escorted him out, Mr. Rivers told him and us he was not allowed back in the building.

Later that day everyone was sent home because of the virus. The head of security asked for volunteers to watch the building. I'm single so was more than happy to pick up extra shifts."

This was news to me and Tony. I knew the schools had gone to online teaching from Jessica but it was obvious I needed to get back to doing my job if things were changing that drastically. It may have been what sent Rick over the edge, fired and other firms not physically hiring.

"So what happened?"

"Mr. Wilson came back the next morning. You know we don't lock the outside doors as a security guard is always present. I guess they don't want to have to give out keys to everyone or something."

"It's to make our visitors and clients feel more welcome but still have control over their entry."

Tony said that. I'd never really thought about it but it made sense.

"Anyway, he walked in and was going to go right past me like he still worked there and expected me to let him pass.

I knew he wasn't supposed to be there and told him to stop. That's when he pulled the gun and I hit the alarm button. As you know that locks all the elevators and the stairwells on the first floor are exit only so he told me to unlock them. I lied and told him I couldn't.

He got real angry and I think pulled the trigger without thinking or I'd be a dead man. I got hit in the arm and went down and he took off. I tried to get up and stop him but couldn't. I'm sorry."

He looked so crestfallen, like an unarmed security guard should tackle a guy with a gun. I thought he did great and told him so. If the building was full of people he would have saved lives. He just didn't see it that way. I would have kissed him on the cheek but kept my distance because of the virus. I also wasn't sure how he'd react if I did.

Tony told him he had a lot of guts for pressing the button and then refusing to unlock the elevators. I could see his face brighten when Tony said that even though I told him the same thing. I guess hearing it from a man made a difference. Macho bullshit.

The guard didn't mean to devalue my comments, I guess it's just the way the male mind works. In a way it was a backhanded compliment. It was apparent he thought of me as a female. It still irked me though.

I wondered why Christina suddenly frowned. Did she really think the guard should have done more so I didn't get shot? I'd have to ask her after he left.

I wanted to shake his hand but I was too weak to even lift it. I just said to get better and thanks again for trying. He gave me a thumbs up and left. I would talk to Tanya about making sure all his medical bills were paid and see about getting him a raise. To think this was the same guy who complained about the new cameras making more work.

"I wonder why he didn't just let Rick get on the elevator and then lock them again until the police came?"

I was right she did blame him. I hadn't thought about that either. She may have been born a guy but she sure didn't understand us. I knew what the guard was thinking, 'how can I take the gun away from him?' Kind of like one of those 300 Spartans guarding the pass. A woman would probably have had a better idea like just closing the pass with boulders or something. Women!

Samantha did few things, mostly I think, to aggravate me a bit, then left Christina and I alone. She had a funny look on her face as she pulled a piece of paper out of her purse and waved it at me.

"Your buddy, the cop, gave this to me on the way here this morning. He said you'd understand."

I looked at the ticket and saw the message and tried to laugh but it hurt too much.

Christina stared at me and I wondered how to explain the note to her without her giving me more grief. It was the kind of gallows humor guys engaged in to make light of a serious situation. Somehow I didn't think Christina would find it funny. I seriously debated feigning falling asleep as she stared at me, waiting.

"It was just something funny the cop said to me when he gave me that ticket after you rear-ended me."

I remembered the conversation the two had had while I waited by my car. They had both looked at me and kind of laughed. I didn't like being laughed at. I thought at the time the cop was making some remark about women drivers but it was hardly the time to say something then. Not unless I had wanted to undo Tony's taking the blame for me.

"It was guy talk. Something he said in jest. Honest, he was just joking."

I continued to stare at him.

"He said you were hot."

"And that was funny how?"

i watched as Tony turned beet red. I was torn between being miffed and feeling good that the cop thought I was hot.

"He said if I wasn't careful you'd be the death of me."

It was like being hit with a sledgehammer. The guilt that had been building up had rushed over me and I stumbled out of the room crying.
Samantha found me outside his door sobbing as Tony kept calling my name.

"What's he done now?"

"He hasn't done anything except be wonderful and all I do is almost get him killed!"

"Surely it can't be that bad. The man's head over heels in love with you."

"You don't understand. He quit his job for me, he got tasered because of me and I crashed into his car. Then I go and get him shot. And he thinks it's funny!"

"Guys have a weird sense of humor. So he finds the situation funny. Do you love him?"

"Yes but . . . "

"But nothing. That's my fucking patient in there and he needs healing, the kind of healing only you can provide. So dry your tears and get back in there or Tony may get his wish for a catfight!"

I couldn't believe my ears. She was going to beat me up? I looked up at her and saw only compassion in her eyes. She cared for him and I was out here feeling sorry for myself!

She handed my some tissue and I tried to dry my eyes. I probably looked like shit but Samantha pushed me back into the room.

"He doesn't care how you look. Right now he's worried about you and wondering if he lost you. If you don't get in there he's going to set off all the alarms and have doctors and nurses rushing into the room.

So worry about your problems later and get in there!"

I tentatively stepped back into Tony's room and tried to smile. His worried look turned into a smile.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry if I upset you."

After all this he was worried about me? I ran to the bed and grabbed him, kissing him for all I was worth. I heard him grunt in pain but when I went to let go he held me and kissed me back. I glanced down when I felt something wet and saw blood seeping into his gown. I yelled for the nurse.

"Hey, it's only a little blood. I've seen more when I cut myself shaving."

Nothing I said seemed to have any effect. She kept calling for help in between hugging me and telling me I'd be alright. She kept muttering to herself, "not again, not again," before calling out again.

She kept looking at the door obviously torn between running for help and not leaving me.

Samantha rushed into the room followed by an older woman in a white coat who reminded me of my mother. The woman strode over to me and gently pried me out of Christina's arms. I saw her nod to Samantha who sat Christina down in a chair.

Once she was out of the way she opened up my gown which had been put on backwards to allow easy access to my wound.

She studied the blood soaked bandages before carefully removing them.

"I think you've popped a few stitches here. I know you were told no stretching or raising your arms. We aren't going to have to tie them down are we?"

The doctor smiled as she asked Samantha to bring a suture kit.

"Mom always said I was better at sewing than she was but it's really hard to use a sewing machine in a patient's room. So I guess I'll just have to do this by hand."

She must have deadened the area because I only felt a slight tugging. Christina had calmed down but kept an eagle eye on the doctor.

"There. A comedian may leave them laughing but I always leave them in stitches."

i groaned. Christina jumped up and was at my side.

"Does it hurt?"

She shot daggers at the doctor.

"Only if I laugh." And did.

"Good it looks like my needlework is holding up. Mind you, no fooling around."

She looked right at Christina when she said that. She turned bright red and I swear she turned her toes and wrung her hands like a little girl being admonished by her mommy.

Then the doctor leaned over and in a stage whisper said to her, "you can kiss him all you like though. If I were only twenty years younger. . . "

"Doctor, can you tell me how long I'll be stuck here?"

"What? You don't like the accommodations? Is it the food? I know it can't be because of 'Pretty Face' here."

Damn, did everyone know?

"Well she won't fight with my girlfriend over me so there doesn't seem to be any point in hanging around. Even if I have to give up the green jello."

"I'm afraid you'll be here for a week or two. The bullet nicked an artery and just missed your heart. I had to do a lot of work to fix you up and don't want you to go messing up my work.

Thank goodness your girlfriend over there slowed the bleeding. She probably saved your life."

She hadn't said anything and I don't remember anything after Rick shot me and I fell down. The next thing I knew I woke up here.

I saw the surprise on Tony's face when the doctor told him that. In a way I was glad he didn't know. A part of me thought the only reason he still liked me after I got him shot was because I had helped save his life. Now I knew that had nothing to do with his feelings for me.

"You know doctor it might not be a bad idea to tie his hands down."

The doctor looked like she was seriously considering the idea and Tony was looking worried. I tried my best leer on him. Then the doctor spoiled it all by saying no.

"I don't think I should. Samantha would have to spoon feed him his jello. Actually that would be a good idea for a few days to keep those hands still, the spoon-feeding, not the hands-tying."

"Nobody's feeding him jello except me!"

The three of them all laughed at me. I can't believe I said that out loud. At least Tony could blame the drugs. My only excuse was jealousy. I finally had a man in my life and nearly lost him. I wasn't taking any chances. And Tony was just looking smug.

That changed when Samantha said it was time to change him. I never saw a guy look more embarrassed in all my life. I couldn't resist it.

"Can I help?"

Tony quickly protested that it was probably hospital policy that things like that had to be handled by staff.

Samantha grinned and said that she couldn't wear a bikini but she had plenty of baby oil just like he asked. I said I'd come back later after things had been handled.

I stared at his crotch but there was no reaction. Either the drugs kept him from reacting or he was too embarrassed.

I gave him a quick kiss and said I'd bring my laptop tomorrow so we could Zoom with our boss. Right now I needed to go hide my embarrassment. The only one to feed him! What was I thinking?

I called Ms. Lukes after I left to set up a time that we could video-conference about Tony's condition and my new job. Things were changing rapidly and I needed to earn my salary. I asked for a few things to get started.

I also called Jess to update her on Tony and check on things back at the house. She told me the cleaning people had called and said they couldn't come.

I wasn't surprised. People were already reacting to the spread of the virus and despite no official word were exercising caution. I couldn't blame them after reading the news out of China and Europe.

I was more concerned with how it would affect the various businesses Lukes Financial owned. Getting dug in and finding out things would help take my mind off Tony. At least I hoped it would.

I got back to the house to find Jess watching a movie on the big screen tv.

"What about your schoolwork?"

"They're still getting things organized. They said they'd send emails to all of us with schedules as soon as possible. Besides it's Spring Break.

Oh, and Peter called. He wanted to come over and help me go over my lines in case we got to do the play after all."

"Well, young lady. First of all you need to quarantine just like me now. And second, there is no reason you can't Zoom to practice your lines together. And when you do I want you to wear something a little less revealing than a tee shirt and panties!"

I was so glad Christina had left. It didn't do much for my masculine ego having to have my 'diaper' changed. It was bad enough Samantha was going to do it. At least she was very professional about it no matter what she might be thinking.

I just thanked heaven that for whatever reason I didn't get an erection. Then I thought she might be insulted that I didn't. And then I thought if I did she might tell Christina. The conflicting thoughts were giving me a headache!

With nothing better to do I closed my eyes to take nap only to have them snap wide open as I heard a familiar voice in the hallway. It was Dan, and he was talking with the security guard who must be in a room on the same floor. I thought it was a nice gesture on his part to visit. I didn't expect the same courtesy.

Then I heard raised voices. He wanted the guard's keys. There could only be one reason for that, he no longer had his own. So his visit wasn't what it seemed. Despite Dan's yelling and screaming the guard did not give them up. I was glad he stood his ground.

A moment later I could hear Dan arguing as a pair of hospital security guards escorted him past my door and away, hopefully out of the building. I'd have to ask Tanya what that was about.

I flagged down a passing nurse to ask her to pass a note to the security guard. She returned to say he had just been released. I was sorry I missed him. I would add this to the things I needed to talk to Tanya about.

Much as I wanted to nap the staff seemed determined to prevent it as they came in to take all sorts of readings. Then they brought me lunch and, sure enough, there was a bowl of green jello on the tray along with some soup.

I knew the next person through the door was going to be Samantha - spoon in hand. . . and I was right but a young nurse's aide was with her and she fed me my lunch.

"Is it true you called Miss Samantha ' Pretty Face? All the other nurses are teasing her about it."

I guess she wasn't the only one in the room when I said that. I felt sorry that she was being teased and said so.

"Oh no, she's been quite happy about it and all the other nurses are envious. You wouldn't consider. . ."

She looked at me hoping she might get her own nickname. I figured I was in enough trouble with Christina without giving her another reason to be jealous. I gave her a sad look but said she such did a great job feeding me that I didn't even need the bib.

She laughed.

i made myself some lunch and wondered if Samantha was spoon feeding my man. I should have stuck around.

Jess wanted me to watch another movie with her but I needed to get online and start earning my keep. As promised Ms Lukes had sent me a listing of the companies owned by Lukes Financial and a brief description of what each one was about.

It was a beginning. I'd need more detailed information to make better analyses. I noted she owned a large shipping line, luckily no cruise ships, but still many ports would be closed. This seemed like a good place to start.

As I gathered information I shot off an email to the gentleman listed as the CEO of the shipping line for details on all the ships, where they were, what they were carrying and where they were destined for.

I was soon lost in my work and might have stayed that way until Jess tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I was going to make dinner. The hours had flown by.

Once again I thought about Tony and what he was doing. I knew he'd understand. Jess didn't.

"How can you sit there all afternoon and work on your computer when your boyfriend is in the hospital all alone?"

"I have responsibilities. Ones I need to fulfill to pay the bills. Tony understands."

At least I hoped he did. I could have taken my laptop to the hospital and worked there except I knew I'd get no work done. All Jess knew was I should be with Tony. If life were only that simple.

I made the two of us a simple dinner using some of the groceries I had brought from the house. Jess was quiet and excused herself to go back to the cottage saying she would probably go to bed early.

I knew she was upset with me for not visiting Tony, and for not allowing Peter to come see her. I'd allow her her privacy. She was probably going to call Peter and complain about how unfair I was. I was glad I had the excuse of exposure to the virus to fall back on.

Both of us were likely to be dreaming about our boyfriends tonight. I wondered if they were dreaming about us?

The problem with lying in bed doing nothing is it gives me too much time to think. To think about Christina, to think about my new job and to think about why Rick felt it necessary to try and nearly succeed in killing me.

I get shot and I'm feeling guilty? I know that part of that is due to my trying to do my clients and Christina a favor by putting them together. I thought it was a win-win but hadn't counted on Dan siccing Rick on them.

I wondered if I was really the target or was it Christina? Or both? I guess I'd never know. I do know it was better me than her. I was like that Timex watch, capable of taking a licking and keep on ticking. 'Tony Timex' had been my nickname in high school after a couple of toughs thought they had me down when I jumped back up and used the boxing skills dad taught me.

You don't get far in the construction trade if you aren't tough. Dad was respected because he didn't back down but he didn't go looking for trouble either. He just told me if someone else started it to make sure I finished it.

Of course that doesn't help much when the other guy has a gun and is willing to use it. I just hope what happened didn't give Christina nightmares. I had only that one, thinking about Rick shooting Christina. The thought of her being the one lying on that tile floor instead of me was just too awful to contemplate.

I also questioned my feelings for Christina. Was it because she was there when mom died? Was she a substitute for her somewhere deep inside? I know I liked her an awful lot, maybe even loved her. But did I love her enough to get past what she was and maybe still is?

I had too much time to think about this. I wondered once again who I could talk too. Events had gotten in the way before I had the chance to do anything but look online and that was a morass of information, speculation and sexual deviation. I know one of the best sources is living in my house if I could only talk to her without my libido getting in the way.

At the moment my thoughts about Christina were all I had as my body has decided to take a vacation from showing any sexual interest. I sure hope that it's temporary. I may not be a big fan of morning wood but it's better than morning wouldn't.

I wanted to ask the doctor but she reminded me too much of mom and it just wasn't the kind of question you asked mom.

About the only good thing about getting shot is I should be getting out of the hospital about the same time as mom got released from the morgue so I could say a proper goodbye. I know she'd tell me to thank Christina and the doctor for keeping me from joining her.

I worked some more after Jess left, mostly to keep my mind off what she said. If she only knew just how much I wanted to be in that hospital room with Tony. Sometimes we can't do the things we want. My high school English teacher would probably say, "can't?" She'd be right, I could but didn't.

I stared at blood on the tile floor and looked online for the best way to clean it up. Part of me wanted to scrub the whole scene away if I could. The EMTs had taken Tony away with my tee shirt still plugging the hole in his chest. I'm not sure I could have coped with that reminder.

I found a mop and bucket and steeled myself to get the job done. The sooner it was the sooner the vivid reminder would only be in my head. Despite my best efforts a stain remained. I would just use the side or back door until I could get a professional cleaner in.

My efforts had worn me out so I packed things away and got ready for bed. I thought being so tired that I would fall right asleep but for the first time in a long time I felt lonely. Jess had shared my bed the other night but I couldn't use her as a crutch. I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling until I finally got up and started wandering.

I thought about going into his mom's room and playing some records like he had the other night but those were his memories not mine. I passed by his room again and stopped and went back.

I slipped into the room. The bed was unmade and looked comfortably slept in. I sat on the edge looking at his closet, staring at his shirts. I almost went and grabbed one but instead I threw myself back on his bed grabbing his pillow and clutching it to my chest and face.

It smelled faintly of him and his cologne. My tears intensified the scent as I cried myself to sleep, curled around the pillow.

I looked forward to seeing Christina this afternoon. Both of us were busy this morning. The doctor was going to do a check up on my wound again after I got a nice sponge bath and change.

I hadn't felt this helpless since, well since I was a little boy. Only now I wasn't so little and it took two nurses, one of them Samantha, to do it and I think all four cheeks were red with embarrassment. I couldn't wait until I could be up and take a shower. I never thought I'd find the idea of sitting on a commode to be something I'd look forward too!

Once I was clean and all my bedding changed the nurse's aide appeared to feed me some oatmeal and let me nibble on a piece of buttered toast. I hoped she didn't think I was having nasty thoughts about her as I closed my eyes and moaned in pleasure at the taste of solid food.

The doctor appeared to check on her work and must have been on rounds with several residents as she gave a very clinical description of my wound and what she had done. It was the first time I heard the details and it almost seemed like she must be talking about someone else until she uncovered my wound.

I was glad Christina wasn't here for this as the residents examined my wound closely and peppered the doctor AND me with questions. It was also the first time I found out I had also gotten a concussion from my head hitting the hard tile floor. Maybe I could use that as an excuse for 'Pretty Face.'

After having one of the residents redress my wound under her direction the doctor and her flock moved on as I could hear her say, "you'll find the next patient really interesting." I wanted to go along to find out too. Apparently gunshot wounds aren't nearly so exciting.

I was alone again and of course my nose decided this was the time to itch. My hands twitched as I started to reach and then I thought about having to explain to the doctor and her residents exactly why I'd pulled my stitches again.

If Christina were only here to scratch it. Of course then there would be more than one itch to scratch. For a moment I almost forgot my itching nose but then it was back with a vengeance. I hit the call button and of course it was Samantha who came and asked what I wanted.

Then I just had to stick my foot in my mouth as I said, "I have an itch." Samantha just broke out laughing.

"I'm sure Christina would be happy to scratch it for you," she managed to get out between bouts of laughter.

"My nose. My nose itches!"

I glared at her and then thought better of it as she turned to leave.

"Please!"

"Since you said please. . . "

"Aaaaaaaaah."

"Just like a man. I scratch his itch and what do I get?"

"A big thank you? I'd send flowers but some people might get the wrong idea."

She laughed and left the room.

I woke up feeling refreshed but still clutching his pillow. I wandered back into my room and saw the time.

"Oh hell, I'm supposed to talk with my therapist in ten minutes and I looked like. . . don't go there, just pull yourself together."

I stripped and grabbed the first things I could find. I debated saying the camera was broken but knew she'd see right through me. I threw the blouse on and ran into the study and sat behind the desk.

I was just in time only to find a strange man looking back at me.

"Hi, Dr. Shaw had an emergency callout and asked me to fill in if that's ok with you. I'm Dr. Shaw also, her husband."

"I guess so. Do you know anything about me?"

"She gave me your file. We usually don't discuss each other's patients in case you're wondering. She felt you needed to talk and as dealing with trauma patients is my specialty she thought you might actually benefit from talking with me."

Just then Jess popped her head in and looked at me.

"Auntie why are you talking to a strange man wearing just a blouse and panties? You're not doing one of those cam things are you?"

"Dr. Shaw, this is my "barge right in" niece, Jessica.

Jessica, this is my therapist's husband, who is also one."

"He's sure got a strange bedside manner. Are you sure he's a doctor?"

"I'm sitting behind a desk Jess. I didn't have time to get dressed. I also didn't expect you to tell him what I'm wearing or not wearing!"

"Dr. Shaw, I may need extra therapy after I kill my niece. I'd do it right now but I can't get up at the moment."

"Jessica is it?"

"Yes sir."

"Why don't you put your hand over the camera while your aunt goes and gets fully dressed. In fact after she leaves the room we might have a little talk if that's ok with you."

"Okay, you aren't going to yell at me are you?"

"Nothing like that Jessica. We'll just have a little chat about boundaries. Now please put your hand over the camera until your aunt leaves the room."

She did, and I rushed out and back upstairs to my bedroom. I sat down and decided to give the doctor a few minutes before I returned. It would also allow me a few minutes to get my embarrassment and anger in check, which I'm sure was what Dr. Shaw intended.

I gave him about fifteen minutes and made my way back down. I walked into the room and was hit by a crying whirlwind. I looked up at Dr. Shaw.

"What did you say to her? It wasn't that bad!"

"That's not why she's crying, Christina.

Do you want to tell her Jessica?"

I looked down at her tear-stained face as she squeezed me even harder.

"I almost lost you Auntie. You're all I have left in this world and that man could have killed you!"

"Oh honey, I didn't know!"

For lunch they gave me real food and it was a good thing I was being fed or I might have made a pig of myself. The aide made sure I didn't eat too fast or take giant bites. I discovered I actually enjoyed my food more and felt filled before I had even finished my dessert. Dessert? What else, green jello.

I felt a bit sleepy and must have dozed off because when I woke Christina was in the room and so was Jessica. They both half-grinned at me and I noticed something else, they both had been crying.

They'd attempted to hide it but no makeup could hide the drawn and haggard look. I looked at Christina for an explanation for the tears and Jessica being with her.

Then I saw the laptops on the table, mine, Christina's and a third that must be Jessica's. I knew we were supposed to Zoom with Tanya but could think of no reason why Jessica would be included. Maybe it was just to entertain herself while the two of us worked.

"I see you've noticed the laptops Tony and are puzzled. I'm going to ask a big favor of you on behalf of Jessica and myself. You don't have to do it but we'd really appreciate it."

Besides the fact that I could basically deny Christina nothing I also came to the conclusion that what I heard wasn't an ask but a thinly veiled demand. I knew it would not do our relationship any good if I turned her down. It had to be something really serious for her to risk it. Serious enough that both had been crying - a lot!

"Does this have to do with why you both have been crying?"

"Yes. The reason I didn't come to visit this morning was I was going to talk with my therapist."

"And that upset you? Then why was Jessica crying?"

I was confused. Christina wasn't giving me any more information. She just looked at the clock on the wall and opened up the laptops.

They must have been preset because in moments we were all on a Zoom screen along with another man who, I assumed, was her local therapist. I was partially right.

"Hello Tony, my name is Dr. Shaw and I am the husband of Christina's therapist. She asked me to speak to Christina and inadvertently I ended up speaking to Jessica too."

I was confused and a bit impatient. I knew I was being rude but this whole thing made me uncomfortable.

"Will you just cut to chase and explain why we're all talking together."

"Please Tony, listen to him."

It was strange hearing Christina's voice coming from her and my laptop too. I stifled the urge to say something I'd regret. After all whatever this doctor wanted to talk to me about had made them cry.

Then it occurred to me, she's breaking up with me! The doctor was just softening the blow with some psychological mumbo-jumbo!

Bracing myself for the worst I told him to continue.

The doctor had told me Tony might not be happy about this, that guys got defensive when you wanted to talk about their feelings. But I needed to do this, more importantly Jess did.

I hadn't realized how important I had become to her. I knew that we loved each other and we both missed her parents, I just didn't know how much and what effect Tony's shooting had on our relationship and my relationship with Tony. Not until this morning.

Tony looked like he was at the dentist and found out he had a bunch of cavities. I didn't think this would upset him so much. I thought it would help. The doctor warned me that Tony might not see it that way but I had faith in him.

"Before I go too far I should tell all of you that I called a friend on the police force and got a copy of the full report. I also spoke to your doctor, Tony, about what has happened since you arrived there.

The reason I'm telling you this is so you'll understand the issues I'm about to bring up.

The first involves you Tony. I read about your reaction to seeing Christina when you woke up. What do you remember about that?"

"It was like dream. I saw Christina and had to warn her about Rick but I couldn't talk and then I think she hit me with her stun gun."

"I what?"

"Relax, Christina, Tony was trying to piece together what was going on. His mind was confused."

"I'd never have done that to him!"

"Consciously he knows that but the unconscious mind works in different ways. He did get tased a few days ago trying to see you, didn't he?"

"And I showed him my stun gun. I never thought. . ."

"So when they used the defibrillator on him his mind thought it was your stun gun. I'm sure he didn't say anything because he thought it was all just a dream."

Tony turned bright red. I wanted to kiss him and make it better. I resolved to get rid of that stun gun.

"Now I know the doctor told Tony how you probably saved his life but you didn't know he definitely saved yours.

The police weren't just called to Tony's house but also to yours Christina. Rick went there first and if you or Jessica had been there he would have killed you. Your going to stay with Tony meant you weren't home."

I know I gasped and Jess started crying again. I wanted to reach through the screen and slap Dr. Shaw.

"You probably want to hit me right now but you were going to find out anyway. What's important is that you helped each other and you still can. And both of you can help Jessica face her abandonment issues."

It never occurred to me that there were three of us in this relationship. Until Christina and Jessica moved in I hadn't given it much thought. I knew Christina had moved cross country to be with her niece. I had done much the same with mom but the dynamics were different.

If mom were alive she might have told me. Mom had already given me to the world but Christina hadn't done that with Jessica. Mom and I were adults that had lived separate lives for years before she got sick.

Jessica's bond with her aunt was new but obviously very strong. That's why she probably had to break up with me, to take care of Jessica. I could understand that. I just wish she would tell me instead of putting us through this therapy session. But if it helped her and Jessica get better I would do my part.

I knew the, 'it's not you, it's me' moment' was coming. I guess Dr. Shaw was just here to cushion the blow and pick up the pieces.

"You can understand my problem can't you Tony. I didn't realize how much Jessica needed me until she almost lost me."

"I get it. Jessica needs you and you and she think I'm taking you away from her. I'm a threat. I think I love you Christina but I know you love Jessica and she comes first. So I understand why you have to break off our relationship before it gets too serious."

"Doctor, you have to help me here. Is he delirious? Why would he think I wanted to break things off? I'm confused."

"Think about it Christina. Tony took a leave of absence to look after his mother. Why would he think you would be any different when it came to Jessica?"

"The doctor's right. You're all the family Jessica has. I can't take you away from her!"

I was doing my noble bit even though I wanted Christina in my life.

"Are all guys gonna be like you Tony? Geez, my aunt's gaga over you and you're just going to push her away? She finally has some happiness in her life and you think I'm going to get in the way of that? You need your head examined. Good thing there's a shrink here to do it!

Sure Christina is going to spend more time with you. The doc and I talked about it with Christina. She was worried about the same thing."

"So you're not breaking up with me?"

"No! Unless you want me to and why in the hell would I do that?"

"Well I thought . . ."

"Be a normal guy and think with your dick!"

"Auntie!"

"Christina!"

"Well?"

"Get your ass over here girl. And Jessica, you cover your eyes! You too doctor!"

I didn't have a lot of experience kissing but, damn that man could kiss!

"That looks like fun. Can I try?"

"Jess!"

"Jessica!"

The doctor was just laughing. I looked at Tony. He had that smug look guys get when they know they've scored. Jessica had a shit-eating grin on her face. I bet my face was redder than a stop light and I didn't care.

"I'd like to say my work here is done but I think it's only starting."

"What do you mean doctor?"

"Just the fact that you were all confused about how the other persons felt tells me you still need to talk. All three of you experienced a trauma that most people will never face. I'm sure all three of you have had sleepless nights thinking about what happened.

I wish I could say that things were all better now but my experience tells me no."

"You're talking PTSD, aren't you doc?"

"Yes, Tony. It doesn't just happen to soldiers and if you aren't aware of it and its effects none of you will know how to react. I counsel police officers and their families among others. That's how I was able to get a copy of the report.

Jessica already knew about Rick going to her home because the police talked to her after you took off to the hospital Christina."

"I'm so sorry Jess. I didn't know."

"It's ok. I was ok. You were hurting and needed to be with Tony and there was nothing I could do then."

"But you did help me. You came to bed and hugged me so I could sleep."

"I needed the hugs too auntie, so I could sleep."

I had a glimmer of what the doctor was talking about now. I knew Tony needed me and I knew Jess needed me too. And I needed them both. The question was what about Tony and Jessica? If I was the apex and they were the base they could pull me apart but if they connected my base would be solid.

I wondered how to explain this to Tony. The doctor was strangely silent. I could see Tony struggling with the idea. I went to say something and the doctor motioned for me to be quiet. He wanted Tony to figure this out himself.

Tony looked at Jess.

"So your aunt is gaga over me? Did you think I'd take her away? Be honest with me."

"Yes, I'm a big girl. I'm emancipated even. I want her to be happy and you make her that way."

"My mom would never forgive me if I did that. So I guess you're stuck with me. That is if you and your aunt want me in your lives."

Jess just grinned and kissed him - on the cheek and he blushed. For the moment we were all happy and didn't even notice the doctor had signed off.