‘The Marley’s were dead, to begin with’
To be fair, if they ever really existed outside of old Charley’s mind, I’d expect that they’ve been dead for a lot longer than they are in most accounts that mention them.

Sit back Dear Reader!
As I give you a little Christmas tale of suffering, woe, hope and redemption to best all others!

For what is a Christmas tale, without its omnipotent narrator?.. some kind of low budget made for TV drama series I suppose?

Those are hardly ‘Christmassy’ though, are they?
No!

To do a real Christmas Tale one must always have a good Narrator!

Preferably old, male and quintessentially British at that.. don’t hesitate to imagine my voice as such if you must Dear Reader.
Christmas is all about traditions and far be it from me to buck the trend of narrators that have come before me!

We open, as we so often do in these tales, on the busy streets of a modern metropolis.
A city steeped in the cold bitter embrace of winter with frost on the grass and a Christmas tree in every store window.

It never snows here, not this close to the big day at least.
The locals will of course scoff and grumble when the snow finally does come in mid-January, the ungrateful swine!
Personally I adore the snow, especially at this auspicious time of year.

Snow is a beautiful thing, full of childish wonder, rotund men with carrots for noses and the occasional over-compacted missile.

Speaking of which.. I do believe I see a protagonist of sorts on the horizon.
Let’s watch shall we?

Oh I do so LOVE this part!

*******

“Watch out!”

A roughly fist sized missile of compressed ice flew far and true to smack painfully into the back of a distracted young man’s head.
He jerked and turned angrily to see four rather nervous looking children who had been holding a war all of their own but a moment ago.

“Sorry mister!”

The young man huffed at them, turned back on his way while trying to brush the remains of their missile from his neck before it could sink to far down and begin to melt without much luck.
This young man, short and scrawny as he may be at just over five feet tall and weighing slightly more than a common street urchin of old London town goes by the name of ‘Nappa’.

A rather unusual epitaph to be sure.
He considers it far superior to his given name though, that of ‘Napoleon’, named for the general from France don’t you know?
Our young Nappa’s mother was a bit of a history buff in her youth and happened to also be half French on her mother’s side, the poor woman.

The boy would have had it hard enough in life, being a short man in a big world with such a seemingly appropriate and amusing name to be sure but that is by far the least of his problems I’m afraid.

Nappa.. like many poor unfortunate souls before him.. happens to be in a worse position then even his looks would lead you to believe!

Despite years of hard work and dedication going to a moderately well-known university, multiple student loans and some of the best scores in the country, Nappa currently finds his employ in the dying field of ‘bicycle messenger-y’.

It’s a rather silly Job.
He gets up at horribly early hours each morning so that he can reach the depot office on time or else his rather rounded, frightfully unhappy boss who goes by the name ‘Larry’ will yell at him for long enough to make him late through the rest of the day.

Due to situations which may be entirely relevant to our tale.. (although what do I know, I’m only omnipotent after all) ..Nappa struck out for himself in the big city, far away from friends and family.

With hope in his heart, a song on his lips and a bundle of rather impressive Curriculum Vitea’s under his arm he set off to make his name and fortune.

That.. was three years ago..

Today young Nappa is pushing onwards towards the dreaded ‘twenty-five’.
He hasn’t carried a CV with him in almost two years, hasn’t sung in about as long and hasn’t had hope for possibly longer than that.

Nappa is stuck in a rut.. he’s also stuck between a rock and a hard place.
As you can imagine, putting the two together was not in any way comfortable for the poor lad?

Though he would probably hate me for telling you this, I believe it is crucial for your understanding of our tale’s ‘woe’ portion and I would be remiss in my job as ‘The Narrator’ if I did not ‘fill you in’ as Nappa himself would say.

Poor, sweet, unassuming Nappa with his gangly limbs, paper thin body, surprisingly plump lips and long dishwater blonde hair which he keeps tucked down the back of his shirt to avoid confrontation.. is transgendered.

He’s known for most of his life, although he didn’t consciously acknowledge it to himself for many years.
His great plan, the thing that inspired him to come out top of his class throughout his time within the education mills of modern academia, was to get a good job and strike out on his own into the world!

He would spend a few years making himself indispensable to whatever company he worked for then quietly begin the process of ‘transitioning’ which he believed to be his best chance at happiness in life.
As you can probably assume, things did not work out quite that well for him.

He now lives in a one room apartment within the outrageously overpriced and frankly unsanitary red-light district of the city.
He has to rent his bicycle from the depot each month because his previous pride and joy was unfortunately stolen by some rather rough customers who live a few streets over from his ‘home’.

Between the rising cost of public transport and his heartbreakingly small food budget the boy has dwindled over the last few years both physically and monetarily.
He came to the city ten pounds heavier and with a bank account hovering a few thousand above the dreaded ‘red line’.

That bank account is now left at the wayside because it holds less than a thousandth of what it did previously and the depot tends to pay him in cash for various reasons that Larry does not like to be questioned over.

Nappa is the quintessentially ‘crushed spirit’.

Even the whimsical chill of Christmas on the horizon cannot brighten his tired eyes as he marches on towards a job he hates, working for a man he can’t stand in a life he despises and a body that disgusts him.

If only Nappa could bring himself to give up his dreams!

His parents are wealthy and overall quite nice people.
If his siblings knew how he lives currently or any of his home town friends they would be on the first flight over to drag him back into their warm embrace in a heartbeat!

They all have one rather unfortunate blind-spot though.
His parents are of an older generation with strict views on this modern ‘alternate gender mess’ we hear so much about in the news.

His brother, a rather prominent minister for the local church, also held such views.. although hidden rather tightly to his chest so as not to offend usually, naturally..

His sister.. she may actually accept him surprisingly, although how much help a woman who’s possibly in a worse state then he is both mentally and financially could be in the grand scheme of things is debatable..

Nappa had options.
He was just afraid to use them.

So many things could go wrong!
He told himself daily that while things were bad, telling people about himself would only make them worse.

He’s reached a tipping point in his life.
A point where even the small hidden lockbox of feminine items that he allows himself to keep tucked away under his bed cannot brighten his day anymore.

In another world, possibly in another life, today would be the day that Nappa snapped.

He would get to work late by only two minutes but be reamed out by Larry anyway.
The moment he left to do his first delivery run the heavens would open soaking him to the bone.

By lunchtime he would sneeze for the first time that winter and by the time he got ‘home’ that night he would be running a high fever.

By the stroke of midnight he would be lost to the world, huddled up on his old forth-hand mattress that filled his box room, in delirium.

It would have taken two weeks before anyone came to check on him and the scene they would be confronted with at the time would not have been pretty, despite the lovely pink silk nightgown Nappa managed to pull on before he passed out so many nights before his discovery.

A tragic end to a rather unfortunate young man.. young woman I should say.
In death Nappa would at least be free to show his, so far unnamed, feminine side to the world after all.

Luckily for us.. this isn’t THAT world.

In that world the children did not, in fact, hit him with that errant ‘snowball’.
In that world he continued on his mindless trek to work uninterrupted.
In that world he went through life unnoticed, unloved and unmissed..

In that world he did not have a Narrator or You, Dear Reader.

We can’t allow that to happen to OUR Nappa can we?
Not that we need to do anything to help OUR Nappa in the slightest.

Those darling little scamps who cut school today to make snowballs out of what little frost had formed on the park grass outside their home have already done more than enough for all our sakes.

Ah!
I think we’re at the right point to start with now.

I do apologise, I tend to waffle quite often.
It’s the curse of a good narrator you know?
Not knowing when to stop talking..

Anyway.
Tally ho!
Onwards to ‘Nappa’s Noël’!

*******

*******

Nappa paused and cringed as a clump of half melted ice slide past the neck of his jacket despite his best efforts to the contrary.

“Bloody kids” He decried with barely any real inflection to his words.

He’d always been fond of children.
Even in his frustration he couldn’t bring himself to hold it against them for an honest mistake.
Like with many things in his life, Nappa was merely putting up a front in case anyone may have noticed what happened.

No-one did, of course.

“I can’t jus-”
He fished an arm around under his T-shirt and tried to reach the ice before it could melt too much but his hand and the ice itself seemed to catch on the band of the skin-tone sports bra he had on under his usual several layers of barely winter appropriate clothing.

He froze mid-motion as he realised that, yes, he did leave the house today wearing the blasted thing!
His hand slid downwards slowly.
The errant ice slush forgotten in his worry.

With a slight tug and a cautious peak he realised quickly that he had in fact worn panties too, pink fluffy ones which would make most grown women cringe but made him feel a sense of balance usually, as if he needed to be extra feminine when he could to clear out his daily male persona completely.

“..crap..”
His hand let go of the elasticated edge of his rather worn calf-length sports trousers so that they could snap into place and cover over his frankly embarrassing undergarments.
“Crap!”

He glanced around to make sure no-one had noticed his investigation but naturally for this hour of the morning anyone who had noticed didn’t care in the slightest.

Nappa continued on his journey to work with a frustrated sigh and nervous set to his shoulders.
He felt exposed and unsafe, being out in public with such damning items under his street-wear.
‘How could I have been so stupid?’ He asked himself repeatedly as he walked on, battling against the cold with each step.

The truth was that Nappa was tired.
His body was on the edge of exhaustion long before this morning and that may be a factor which would weaken his less than perfect immune system to a worrying degree and allow some kind of devastating illness given the right circumstances.

As he walked on, trying to think of some way to sort out this latest problem in what felt like the one big problem that he called ‘life’, he paused when a man’s voice spoke to him.

“Spare some change for a sandwich kid?”

Almost reflexively Nappa patted his hands on his near empty pockets in the universal sign of having no money and offered the man an apologetic look.

It wasn’t strictly true that Nappa had no money of course.
He had his weekly food allowance in his jacket breast pocket.
He had a little more at home put aside so he could buy his travel card and pay rent this month too but he honestly didn’t feel up for sharing what little he had with a stranger at the moment.

He took a few more steps onward toward the job he really didn’t want to face when a sound broke through his worried mental haze.

A sigh.

It wasn’t a loud sigh.
It wasn’t particularly interesting either but it gave Nappa a moment of pause.
He knew that sigh.

He made a similar sound all the time these days.

The sound of someone who didn’t know why they even bothered to try in the first place.
The sound of someone who had given up hope and was quite frankly depressed with how ignored they felt in life.
The sound of someone on the edge of giving up on everything all together.

His eyes scanned down the street towards the unseen monolith of the depot building and back towards the homeless old man who’d sighed.
His bra strap felt unusually tight upon his back for a moment and he envisioned the mess that could happen if he was found out while at work.

Larry was not the most understanding of men when it came to ‘the queers’ and most of the depot staff were worse in all honesty.

Nappa’s eyes cut from the street to the huddled old man with his scruffy beard and multiple layers of worn clothing, not too dissimilar from his own threadbare charity shop ‘haute couture’.
Despite their age difference and his rather impressive, if matted, beard Nappa felt a moment of kin-ship with the man.

This was a man who had suffered.
A man who was at his lowest point.

In a brief moment of delusionary madness Nappa could have sworn it was his own face he saw on the homeless man’s body, staring out at him like a prediction of his future written in stone.

******

Young Nappa was right to see that sort of thing.
In more than one world where he survived his sudden illness or even avoided it completely he would spend his life as a messenger until he could no-longer ride well enough to earn a living.

Within as few as two years or as many as twenty Nappa would find himself on this very street corner asking the intentionally oblivious commuters for scraps of change to keep himself alive while wondering why he bothered to do just that.

The homeless man, named ‘Eddie’ if you’re interested.. short for Edward of course, wasn’t quite down to that level yet but he’d had his moments of doubt too.

******

Eddie watched the strange young one pause and hold some kind of internal debate of great importance from the look of it.

To his surprise the kid turned on a heel and approached him cautiously.
After a long moment of staring at each other with equal levels of surprise Eddie realised what the kid wanted and shifted himself over slightly on his stoop to make space.

The young one delicately sat beside Eddie and seemed to lose the world, staring out at the car’s speeding by them and the early morning commuters busy ignoring their very presence as best they could in their coffee deprived states.

“Change yer mind about that sandwich did yer?”

Eddie smiled awkwardly at the lost one before him, although it didn’t show very clearly through his thick beard.
The hair on his beard was thicker and darker than anything he had left on his head otherwise.
If it wasn’t such a mess he’d probably be proud of it in some way.

His voice was at least partly an act for the punters.
People don’t like to hear a ‘cultured’ accent from their homeless masses, it sends the wrong sort of message apparently.

The kid shifted uncomfortably and glanced over at Eddie with pouty chapped lips and doe-like eyes.
For a moment Eddie saw someone completely different in the kids face but with a mental shake he dismissed the idea as just senility finally catching up with him.

“Do you ever just have one of those days where you wonder why you even bother anymore?”

The kid’s rather direct question surprised Eddie for a moment.
While his instinct was to lie outright, he couldn’t quite bring himself to do that to the shadow lingering over the kids face.

She’d always hated lying.. understandable really..

“Every mornin’, every evenin’ an’ every night kid..”

The young one’s eyes lost the world again for a little bit.
Eddie joined in with the blank stare off into the distance because it’s not like he had anything better to do.
The kid was the most interesting thing to come to his little corner of the city in a while if nothing else.

“Is there anything you want more than a sandwich?”

Eddie almost laughed.
There were SO many things he wanted more than a sandwich!
What did the kid expect from such an open ended question?

Still, he resisted the urge to get snarky about it.
He knew what the question really meant and for a moment he had just a flash of hope.
It was greedy and stupid but it had been so long..

“Wouldn’t mind some chicken if yer offerin’ kid?”

The kids face paused in uncertainty for a moment but slowly a warm smile spread across those pouty chapped lips.

“..I’ve not had chicken in ages..”

Eddie snorted back a laugh and smiled.
‘You and me both kid’ he thought to himself.

The kids sudden enthusiasm warmed his heart a little though.
It’s been a while since someone smiled at him with something more than just pity in their eyes.

“I’ll be back, don’t go anywhere okay?”

Eddie nodded and his smile spread a little more.
The kid really was a funny one.
His eyes followed those lanky legs as they progressed up the street until they disappeared from sight around the corner.

Honestly, he wrote the kid off at that point as never coming back.
No-one would be stupid enough to come back when they didn’t have to.

******

Nappa did come back though.
Just in time too, he’d barely settled down next to Eddie on his perch under the awning of his favored abandoned flower shop stoop when the heavens opened and rain began to pour down.

They both shared a smile and Nappa almost gleefully cracked open the bucket on the bountiful prize he’d returned with.
Neither of them could quite believe what was happening.
Nappa was still a bit amazed that he’d actually had the guts to say ‘screw it’ to work, taking a day off without notice despite KNOWING how badly Larry would take it.
Eddie was savoring the chicken and fries between deep gulps of the coke that came with them, shooting confused looks over at the kid every once in a while as they enjoyed their ‘breakfast’ and watched the commuters run away from the rain.

They both became full, way before the bucket was empty.
Nappa delicately put the top back on it to keep things relatively fresh for later and they settled back to watch the world with contented sighs.

It’s amazing what a full stomach, familiar flavors and the fresh smell of rain can do to people.
They bonded in that moment.

A gender confused boy, destroying himself so that he didn’t have to face going home and losing what little of his real self he’d been able to set free over the years with a tired old man hiding from his pain in the only way he knew how.

“Last time I had chicken like that my Emma was still around.. thanks kid. Name’s Eddie by the way.”
Eddie punctuated that sentence by sticking his hand out for a shake.

Nappa seemed surprised for a moment.
In truth he’d kind of forgotten that they hadn’t even introduced themselves yet.
Names hardly seemed important when they’d connected on such a base level so quickly.

That same logic was, he reasoned, the source of why he’d never came up with a name for his inner-female.

She was there.
He knew her on such a deep level and he’d never had to introduce her to anyone else before, what was the point of names but to introduce yourself to someone after all?

He reached out and limply shook Eddies hand with an awkward smile but didn’t volunteer his name or even his commonly used pseudonym ‘Nappa’.
Eddie smiled anyway and settled back against the wall into their comfortable silence once again.

“Was Emma your wife?”

Nappa flinched after asking such a personal question out of the blue.
His worry eased a moment later when Eddie’s eyes twinkled with a spark that he hadn’t seen there before.

“Aye kid, she was more than me wife. She was me soul-mate, me other-half in more than just title.”
Nappa blushed and ducked his head down in embarrassment.
Eddie stared off into the rainy haze with a smile playing on his lips.
“Only had a few years with her in truth but they were the best of me life, no regrets there..”

They both sunk into silence again.
Nappa rolled the bottom of his drink along the pavement and sighed deeply.

“..must have been nice..”
Eddie laughed so suddenly that it made Nappa jump in surprise.

“It was kid.. It really was.”
After a long pause where Eddie sized up Nappa and seemed to come to some sort of decision he nodded to himself, leaning back slightly.
“She wasn’t me first love though kid, THAT goes to old Nicky, rest ‘is soul.”

Nappa flinched and stared over at Eddie in surprise.

“We met in boot camp, only a few weeks before our first shipping out.. he really was gorgeous..”
Nappa shifted awkwardly on the floor and stared at his shoes.
“Sorry kid, I didn’t mean to make yer feel awkward.”

After a long pause Nappa pulled his head up and let out a long breath.
“It’s fine Eddie.. I want to hear about it.. if you’re okay to tell me?.. I’m just.. I have issues I’m still working out.”

Eddie didn’t need any more encouragement than that.
Over the course of the next few hours as the sun came up and the world moved on around them Eddie relived his past for Nappa and the boy listened in interest at a life that seemed so much more real and full of LIFE then he felt his could ever be.

Eddie spoke of his first tentative kiss with Nicky under the cover of a foxhole and netting while they waited with their unit to get the go signal.
He told so many tales of the cute and sweet things that Nicky would do to show him that he cared while they both hid under the army’s ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy.

He didn’t go into what happened in between but his eyes lit up when he described every detail of Emma for Nappa’s imagination to go wild with.
From the very first time he saw her awkwardly standing at a town fair, trying to avoid attention while wearing a rather eye-catching dress that her sister had forced her into putting on, all the way up to the day that they married under the summer sun surrounded by what few family members they had left.

He did go into what happened to Emma eventually.
Nappa had to hold back tears as Eddie recounted with lost eyes about her death.

She’d been ill before he’d truly met her, diagnosed with the ‘Big C’ months prior and for the few years they had together she’d faced a constant battle to last, one which she eventually lost.

The old man cried tears of pain and his younger audience cried with him.
For Nappa it felt like he’d come to know these people, to know the important ones in Eddies life vicariously, over the last few hours.
That initial connection had been fleshed out beyond anything he’d ever experienced before with another person.

“I sunk into the bottle after I lost Emma.. never rightly climbed back out of it until recently.”

That was why the often times proud man was living rough.
He’d whittled away his life savings trying to forget.
Trying to numb the pain for all he was worth.

They both sunk into a somber silence as the lunch time foot traffic and car’s whizzed on by without taking notice.
Eddie sighed heavily and reached for the chicken bucket.
They didn’t need to say anything to agree that more chicken was needed at this point in time.

The bucket slowly ran dry and they both settled back with bloated stomachs.
The rain had stopped a while ago but the chill was still on the air.

“Do you have any other family?”

Eddie glanced at Nappa and frowned.
“Do you?”

They both smirked a little and glanced away from each other again.

“I can’t go home right now. My folks don’t agree with my lifestyle choices, I can’t go back to hiding even more then I currently am, I’d die first..”

Eddie stared at Nappa for a long moment.
His eyes were soft with understanding but he didn’t seem as convinced by the seriousness of his family troubles as Nappa himself was to any degree.

“Me family’s long gone but Emma’s got some brothers, nephews and nieces left.”
Nappa opened his mouth to question him further on the topic but Eddie beat him to it.
“Her brother never liked me, blamed me for a lot of things, Emma always wanted us to make up but he’s about as stubborn as a mule and I’m not much better at times..”

The younger of the pair slumped a little in obvious disappointment.
He hadn’t said as much of course but he’d hoped that the older man would have somewhere or someone to go to instead of the street on the coming winters night.

“Don’t worry kid. I figure I’ve had my time. Emma’s waiting for me on the other side, she’ll probably have a word or two to say on how I’ve lived since she passed but she’ll calm down eventually..”

Nappa found that sort of logic a bit worrying.
Waiting for death with open arms didn’t sit well with his outlook on life.
He may not have many bright sides to his life currently but he couldn’t imagine just wasting what he had in the hope of something better eventually.

“If she’s going to be waiting for you, maybe she’d be a bit more forgiving if you did something special for her before you went?”

Eddie froze, his eyes locked across the street staring at nothing in particular.

Slowly he turned to look at the kid with an appraising gaze.
For a moment hurt flashed in his eyes but he covered it easily, way before the kid could notice it at least.

“Yer reckon?”

Nappa shrunk down a little in his bulky jacket to hide from Eddies gaze more than the cold, although he told himself it was getting chilly anyway.

“Yeah?”
Eddie wrinkled his nose and tried to process the idea.
It didn’t really mesh with how he saw his life.
He was an old man, set in his ways and too long in the tooth to change his mind on such things.

“I mean..”
Nappa hesitated to carry on but pushed through anyway.
“If she wanted you to make up with her brother so badly.. maybe she’d be happy if you did it before you joined her?”

They both sunk back into another silence.
His words rang between them like a struck hammer.
Eddie spent the silence furiously trying to come up with a valid reason to deny the kids point and failing repeatedly.
Nappa spent it cursing himself for speaking out of turn and ruining the nicest day he’d had in a long time with someone who seemed to understand his situation in life to some degree.

People walked past them as the silence stretched on.

Even the sun began to sink slightly in the sky.
The motion of the light beams across the pavement at Nappa’s feet brought him back to some kind of focus finally.

“Do you have a place to go tonight?.. my place isn’t big but I can probably sort something out for you on the floor if you like?.. it’ll be warm at least.”

Eddie glanced away from the internal debate he’d been having to smile at Nappa sadly.

“You got a good heart kid, like my Emma in a way, I couldn’t rightly impose on yer though.”
Nappa opened his mouth to protest but Eddie stopped him with a wave and a warm smile.
“I’ve survived this long just fine kid. It’s nice of yer to offer but let an old man have his ways.”

Nappa really didn’t feel comfortable with the idea of just leaving Eddie out on the street.
There wasn’t much he could do if the man didn’t want help though.
He studied his shoes thoughtfully and frowned when he couldn’t find an alternative option to offer.

“If you’re sure?”
Eddie gave him another grin but waved his offer away carelessly.

“Speaking of home, you should be making a move off soon. The streets aren’t a place for the young at night.”
Nappa sighed but he could see through the older man’s words to his true meaning.
Eddie wanted to be alone, to think.

Maybe something he’d said had gotten through after all?
Hopefully he’d helped in some way at least..

With one more sigh Nappa pushed himself up to his feet and reluctantly shook out his joints from the stiffness that came with sitting down for so long, preparing to leave.

“You’re a good girl kid, so much like my Emma. A soft heart and wise beyond your years.”
Nappa froze in fear.

Slowly his head turned back to the still smiling Eddie.
He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to ensure he’d heard the man right or not.
Either way his heart hammered in his chest with fear at having his greatest secret exposed so unexpectedly.

“I told yer more about myself then you told me yerself kid but these old eyes aren’t useless enough to not see right from wrong yet.”
Nappa shuddered.
“Don’t be looking at me with those big doe-eyes girl, I ain’t gonna hurt yer or nothin’. You have my thanks for keeping an old man company for the day, and for the chicken ‘course..”
Eddie sighed and tilted his head slightly.
“Kid like you shouldn’t be wasting her pretty face smiling at a man like me for so long..”

When Nappa’s expression didn’t change in the slightest Eddie sighed again and cupped his hands in his lap heavily.

“Told yer about my Nicky, right?”
Nappa didn’t respond but the older man didn’t seem to care because he continued on anyway without further prompting.
“My Emma.. she had a pretty face like you too.”
He shifted his legs slightly and looked up at Nappa through tight eyes.
“She got her diagnosis with the big C early and decided to finally be honest with herself, show that pretty face to the world.. shame that, a right beauty she was when she smiled.. shame she didn’t get long to show it properly.”

Nappa’s eyes widened slightly as he made the connection in his head that had been honestly on the cusp of being realised all day, ever since Eddie stopped talking about Nicky and started talking about Emma truthfully.

“Don’t let that be you, yeah?”
Eddie grumbled to himself and shifted awkwardly on the pavement.
“Nice girl like you deserves to be happy, not wasting your time hiding that pretty smile with the boys..”

Slowly, ever so slowly, Nappa’s face shifted from wide eyed fear into a bashful look with the hint of an embarrassed blush to his soft cheeks.
His lips perked up slightly into an awkward smile under the older man’s warm, encouraging gaze.

“You go out there and be who yer wanna be girl. Don’t let no-one tell yer otherwise, ya hear?”

Nappa’s smile widened into a truly enthralling smile at last that made Eddie pause in shock.
For a long moment it was as if he was staring back into the past, back across time and space to a little village fair where he set eyes on his soul-mates first true step out into the world as herself.

“Thanks Eddie.. I had fun today, you keep in mind what I said about Emma and her brother yeah?”

Eddie’s beard twitched with an amused smirk as the girl, so obviously a girl as she stood there delicately with one leg slightly kinked to the side like Emma would always do when she was happy, and he nodded with pride in his eyes for the first time in what felt like a lifetime.

Nappa turned and started moving up the street.
He barely managed a few steps before the first drop of something cold landed on the back of his hand.
He paused and glanced up at the sky in surprise.

Unheeding of his awe the snow continued its decent in a sudden flurry that, while certainly not enough to settle, was still so completely unexpected by the boy that he couldn’t help but smile.

It looked like a near perfect Christmas night was coming.
Admittedly it was a few days early but Nappa wouldn’t hold it against the weather for poor timing in this case, if anything he thought the whole thing was timed just right to his mind.

A long heard song, one he’d not sung in years but held such deep connections to the snow to his mind came forth in his head.
He gently hummed it to himself under his breath and reached a hand up to let the snow settle momentarily on his fingers before it fizzled away.

It really would be a perfect Christmas night.
The kind of night where it felt like miracles can happen..

"Noël"

Eddie perked up curiously from his awed stare.
He’d watched as the snow landed and a change seemed to come over the kid.
Nothing physical, nothing obvious but just a certain something.. something he’d only seen one other time in his long life.

Noël turned her head and smiled at the old man with all of her happiness shining through her eyes and bathing the man in her joy.
Even Eddies old bones felt warmed by the frankly beautiful look on her face.

“I’ve decided finally.. my name.. it’s Noël.”
She shifted her feet awkwardly and ducked her head with a blush that made Eddie honestly wonder how anyone could have considered this creature before him in any way ‘male’ through her lifetime.
“I think your right Eddie.. maybe it’s time I stopped playing with the boys and put on my big girl pants at last?”

Her eyes twinkled under the dying light of the sun’s glow and her whole body seemed to be alight with some inner tranquillity that had a slow glow all of its own in response to her changed mood.

“Thanks Eddie.. thanks for being there today, and thanks for understanding..”

She turned elegantly on one foot and progressed further up the street.
Her hand came up to offer the old man a happy little wave goodbye.
She felt on top of the world and it showed in her every movement as she strolled on to the next chapter of her life.

Slowly from behind her a deep melodic rumble started up from Eddies amused lips.
"Noël, Noël.. the first Noël.."

She turned as she walked and gave him one last heart-stoppingly bright smile that seemed to make her light up with that same inner-light all over again.

She resisted the urge to giggle at his silliness but couldn’t resist joining him in singing the tune that resonated so well in her chest at that moment.
Her eyes rolled up and true to the lyric she could see just a hint of twinkling light shining out in the dusky sky above.
“Shining in the east, beyond them far..”

A silly grin of her own formed on her face as she gave Eddie one final glance and wave before turning the corner of the street, back towards her ‘home’.

A lot of things would have to change soon.
Starting with her living arrangements.
The red-light district was no place for a woman to live.

“Thanks old man.. best Christmas present I’ve ever got.. good luck Eddie.”

******

Back under the awning in the dying sunlight Eddie rocked himself against the flower shop’s wall and stared happily up at the sky.

A single star seemed to shine out brightest to his eyes.
A fond smile played across his old lips, hidden as it was by his thick beard.

“Just like my Emma.. message received old girl, I’ll get started in the morning. Shouldn’t be too hard to contact them, I still remember the number by heart.. hopefully your Daddy don’t still have that gun laying around, huh?”
He huddled himself up tighter into his layered clothing and couldn’t wipe the smile from his lips as an unseen tear trailed out from his wrinkled eye.
“Nicky.. Em.. I’ll miss you till my dying day girl.. but your right, the kids right.. you wouldn’t want me to wallow in my loss would yer?.. just as stubborn as that no good brother of yours sometimes..”

He settled in for the night and considered all the things he would need to do tomorrow.
He had a busy day ahead of himself.
For the first time in a lifetime though he felt hopeful that it would all be worth it.

“Thanks Noël, she couldn’t have sent a better Angel if she tried kid.”
With a great sniff he wiped his nose on his sleeve and huddled in tighter again.
“Look at me.. right soppy sod I’m gettin’ in me old age..”

He didn’t need to say more.
A sense of peace and acceptance had come over him as well.
He didn’t know how things would turn out in the end but he knew he would face it proudly.
Emma wouldn’t accept anything less than his finest after all.

“Best present I ever got.. thanks kid..”

******

The next morning at a slightly less unholy hour of the morning then usual Noël strolled down the street again, head held high and hair hanging out of her shirt to brush at her back with pride.
She had just a touch of makeup on and her favorite undies which made the most of what she had, although it wasn’t easy to tell through her thick jacket even if her jeans were blatantly designed with a woman in mind.

Her eyes drifted warmly to the awning in front of the closed flower shop and she paused for a moment when she realised that Eddie wasn’t there.

Part of her wanted to worry for him but something deep inside her chest felt warm pride at the knowledge that he had finally moved on.

She didn’t know how she knew but she did and she felt so proud of the old man for taking her words to heart, it felt nice to know that she had helped him too, in some small way, considering all that he had done for her yesterday.

She’d barely slept last night as she worked her way through a lot of soul searching and options.
She decided that her first step would have to be a decisive one.
She could maybe face her job for another day or so but she would have to tell Larry that she was quitting sooner rather than later.

She already had plans to call her folks later and give them both barrels with an honest assessment of her life, past and present, with the ultimatum of ‘accept her or lose her’ for good or bad.
Her belly fluttered with worry at the thought of it but it didn’t take much to bring up her newfound pride and face down those fears with an onslaught of determination.

Her parents, friends and family would just have to accept it.
She was either Noël or she was gone to them, the choice was simple and in her eyes, an easy one to make.

In the few streets left before she reached the depot she prepared herself for the worst and swore to not shrink away in fear ever again.
This was her life now and she was going to LIVE it!

“There you are you little shit! Where were you yesterday?! Cost me a right load covering for your lazy ass, unprofessional it is! You should be grateful that I-”

Larry’s angry words died on his lips when Noël turned her happy eyes toward his and offer the large man a bright smile that left him momentarily stunned.

“You know what Larry?.. your right, it was completely unprofessional of me and you deserve better.. I quit.”

Without another word or backwards glance, under the stunned eyes of her reluctant co-workers, Noël turned on her heel and left the depot as Larry sputtered to himself in shock.

“HEY! Where are you going?! Get back here kid!”

******

He’d only been trying to motivate the lad!
He’s a hard worker but a bit of a poof and a flake at times.
Boy like that needs some tough treatment or the world would eat him alive!

Larry continued to sputter as Noël turned the corner out of sight and blinked at her afterimage owlishly.
His face flushed slightly as he caught the awed looks on most of the workers faces around him.

“Enough gawping you lot! Back to work, packages ain’t gonna deliver themselves! It’s nearly Christmas don’t ya know?!”

Everyone snapped to attention and frantically tried to get things sorted away at double speed.
Larry’s eyes drifted to the corner where Noël had disappeared around and he couldn’t help the slight smirk that came to his lips for a moment.

About time the lad grew a backbone.

“Come on you lot! Double time! You want to be the reason some little kiddie wakes up without a gift from Santa this year?!”
Everyone started going even faster and he sighed in relief.

It’s good to be the boss sometimes.

******

Noël smirked to herself and rolled her hips a little as she made her way back up the well-trodden path to the train station.
She needed a new job anyway.. maybe this time she’d find one where the boss wasn’t a complete asshole and she could actually do something with her degree too!

She’d have to, transitioning cost’s a lot of money after all?

Maybe she could ask her cousin about hooking her up with an IT place at his firm?
She’d ask him when she saw him again of course, that’s not the sort of thing you add to a phone call when you’re coming out to your family.

If he didn’t blow his top first about her change in name, he’d be able to sort it out easily.
He'd offered a few times before but Nappa had been reluctant to go back under the watchful eye of his parents again.

Noël though.. well.. family’s important isn't it?
Especially around Christmas time.

Speaking of family, as she crossed that same fateful street again and glanced warmly at the old flower shop for possibly the last time, the sound of laughter reached her ears.

She turned slightly towards the grass and couldn’t resist smiling as the children from yesterday were playing again.
Either someone was overzealous and closed the schools after the little snow flurry last night or their parents had somehow been convinced to let them have their fun rather than go in for probably the last day of term this year.

A ‘snowball’ flew towards Noël and she had a flash of the previous day’s events but luckily it fell short and rolled its way over until it butted gently against her shoe instead of hitting her this time.

A little girl in a rather pretty dress that was only somewhat undermined by the thick little jeans she had on beneath it, obviously to battle away the cold, came running over and snagged the errant snowball up with a wide grin and flushed cheeks.

“Sorry Lady.”

A man came up behind the little girl while Noël stared down at her in surprise and scooped the squealing little girl up into his arms, shaking her around happily to make her giggles ring out around them.
It warmed Noël’s heart to see the obvious Father/Daughter pair play so freely.

Her hand reached into a pocket of her jacket and she pulled out a few coins.
At a glance she could see a bank of barely operational payphones lining the edge of the little park area, as if somehow forgotten by the passage of time.

Decision made she marched over to them and started sliding coins inside while dialling an old number.
Her eyes focused on the Father/Daughter pair again.

She’d call her Dad first.
He was always the more sane and reasonable of her parents.

The phone picked up and his voice came through loud and clear from the other end with a confused greeting.

“Hi Daddy, Happy Christmas! I know it’s sudden but I think we need to talk and maybe I can come see you guys this weekend?”

Her father didn’t answer for a long moment.
He was honestly frozen in surprise as the light, happy and surprisingly feminine sounding tones of his youngest child’s voice rang through loud and clear for the first time in years.

“Hi kiddo, it’s been a while.. how are you?”

Noël smiled victoriously.
That was a good start.
He sounded happy to hear from her at least.

Her breath misted in the air as she breathed out a sigh of relief.
Before her eyes, much to the joy of the children and parents busy at play across from her on the grass, snow began to fall once more.

In a phenomenon that would astound meteorologists for weeks to come, I’m sure.

“Well.. I had the weirdest day yesterday and-”

******

I think, Dear Reader, that we can leave our tale here for now?
…
….
..Oh FINE!..

I’d have to be a rather terrible Narrator to leave you hanging like that now, wouldn’t I?
After everyone got a gift at the end and everything.. from young Noël to old Eddie and even those fateful ‘snowball’ throwing scamps of the grassy park space..

Even I got a gift!
I do so love snow on Christmas after all, I think I mentioned that at some point?

Here is my gift to you then.
An Epilogue, of sorts.. enjoy.

******

Noël’s Daddy accepted her after a rather long conversation which made the wise old man see just how strongly his usually easy-going son-turned-daughter felt about everything.

It took him the two days before Noël could square off her rent with her landlord and pack up to come home but he managed to even convince her stubborn mother to bend her proud religiously dogmatic neck on just this one topic as well.

They’d all missed little ‘Napoleon’ over the years and worry has a way of changing many things in the eyes of a true parent after all.

By the time she stepped foot on the homeward bound train with her life’s worth of belongings inside some bulky suitcases, her mother was actually rather exited to see just how different ‘Noël’ would be from her little ‘Nip-Nappa’.

Noël’s meeting with her brother was rather explosive at first, until she received some unexpected backup from her sister-in-law of all people who both verbally AND physically beat some sense into the priests head, throwing scripture back at him for every one he tried to throw out until he could fight no more.

They had an accidental late night meeting around the refrigerator a few days later and finally spoke to each other with calm and honest voices.
The family was rather surprised to see them smiling at each other the next morning, although her brothers kids were still a bit too in awe of their new Auntie to take in the change of atmosphere around the breakfast table.

Her cousin barely seemed surprised by her change in name and gender.
He accepted her with open arms from day one.
Without hesitation he put her forward for the long-standing open ‘IT’ position at his firm with a glowing personal reference to his boss along with his personal recommendation.

The company happened to desperately want more female staff within their IT department and barely seemed to notice when she explained the possible problems with her birth certificate involving that idea.
The boss was rather impressed with her honesty and considered her brave for being so upfront about things.

He had a new brother of his own, one who had been in a similar situation a few years before which may have influenced how open he was to such things.
Although I think we’d all like to believe he would have been as understanding anyway of course..

******

Jumping forward a few Christmas’s you will find Noël standing towards the back of the darkened room during an office party in a rather daring dress on loan from her big sister.
One which her mother had been rather vocal in her condemnation of, but had secretly smiled at the pair of them for when her rather over-protective father wasn’t looking.

A rather unfortunately named Lawyer called ‘Nicholas Clause’ happened upon her in his own attempt to hide while seeming not to do so and the pair struck up a conversation.

******

A few more Christmas’s and under surprisingly heavy snow you would find Noël Clause make her mad dash from the church to the cover of a waiting limo.. her bashful, slightly shell-shocked Husband in hand and a playful giggle on her lips.

******

A few more would see a more mature Noël standing behind the counter of her very own shop, her head rested on her palm as the commuters walked by on their way to work.

The sound of her adopted children, hers in all but blood, playing happily in the back room as they took advantage of the early school closures to have some fun and help her out at the same time was like music to her ears.
She was tempted to close up for the day but it had become a point of pride for her to keep her doors open on this day of all days.

The bell above the shop door rang out and Noël watched with surprised eyes as a clean-shaven but still recognisable old face came into view.
The man had aged a lot, it appeared.
He was pushed along in a wheelchair by a rather excitable young woman who bore the slightest of resemblances to Noël in her youth.

“Oh this is lovely! I can see why you wanted to come in Gruncle Eddie..”

Noël couldn’t resist the smirk that came to her face hearing the strange contraction of words that she assumed would imply that the girl was Eddies Great-niece.

The man looked tired but happy, far happier than he had when they had first met all those long years ago at the very least.

“Welcome to Noël’s, how can I help you today?”

The look of surprise on Eddies worn face was priceless as he turned his eyes up to take in the woman before him.
Slowly they both smiled at each other and Noël tilted her head slightly with a teasing wink that was just for him.

“We’re going up for the service later today and Gruncle Eddie wanted to get some flowers for someone special.”

Noël smiled at the girl but turned her eyes back to Eddie with a mischievous twinkle within them.
“Who should I make the card out to?.. Nicky or Emma?”

Eddies old eyes crinkled up happily and his lips split into a bright smile.
“I think I’ll take two bouquets actually, one for each.. she always did like to have the best of both worlds.”

His poor great-niece looked between the grinning pair in confusion but she was obviously used to Eddie and his ways because she shrugged eventually, turning to look around at all the pretty flowers lining the stores walls with obvious interest.

“Nappa! Emma! Come give me a hand.”

Eddie gave her an incredulous look for a moment but it slipped into a warm smile when a pair of pre-teens burst out from the back room with a fit of happy giggles each.

“Always knew you’d make a good mother kid.. so much like my Emma.”

The kids paused in their bickering to stare between their mother and the strange old man in confusion for a moment.
With an impish smile Noël glanced over at her children and nodded at Eddie.

“Kids, meet your ‘Gruncle’ Eddie. I’ve known him all my life, he’s a very important person so be nice.”

The pair seemed to stare at him with wide eyes for a moment before breaking out into identical bright smiles that, just like their mother, took the old man back many years to a much happier time.

The moment was broken eventually by the return of Eddies great-niece who smiled at Noël happily and took a hold of the bars on the old man’s wheelchair again.

“This place is amazing, I simply MUST bring Mum here at some point. You have a better selection than any other florist I’ve seen in weeks.. I don’t suppose you do wedding flowers do you?”

Noël’s face lit up happily and she shot the old man one last glance before addressing the girl directly.

“We do, I’d even be willing to do you a VERY special offer seeing as you brought Eddie in for a visit.”
Changing the topic slightly she glanced up at the clock above the door and hummed to herself thoughtfully.
“Are you busy now? I could send one of my older ones down the road for some lunch and show you what we have options wise while we eat, my treat of course?”

The girl’s eyes lit up in interest and she turned to Eddie with curious but hopeful eyes.
Seeing her hesitation Noël turned to Eddie as well and raised an eyebrow at the old man that she knew so well but had only truly spoken to once in her lifetime.

“How about it Eddie? Think Emma can wait a little longer for you while we have some chicken?”

The old man’s face slowly split into a wide grin.
To the surprise of everyone but himself and Noël he unleashed a loud belly laugh which shook his aged frame in his joy.

“Wouldn’t mind some chicken if yer offerin’ kid?”
They both smiled at each other and finished in tandem.
“..I’ve not had chicken in ages..”

Eddie snorted back a laugh again and smiled at Noël’s glowing smile.

He felt just a touch of tears forming at his eye as he looked upon a face that reminded him so much of his Emma, even more so now that the kid had grown into her looks a bit more.
His hand came up to discretely wipe away those tears before anyone but the kid could see them.
‘Look at me.. right soppy sod I’m gettin’ in me old age..’

The day progressed.
Chicken was purchased by the bucket full and two long separated friends caught up while their families bonded nearby.
Outside the flower shops windows a single star shone bright in the sky despite the early hour and a real flurry of snow decided to show itself for the first time that year.

The world progressed around them but within the walls of that little flower-shop laughter and merriment could be heard to echo far into the afternoon, continuing on for many years to come no doubt..

******

There.. that’s a much better ending point, isn’t it?
I hope you enjoyed our little Christmas tale of suffering, woe, hope and redemption?

I shall take my leave of you now.
A narrator without a story to give is a terrible thing and I would so hate to ruin our happy ending by waffling on for too long!

It’s the curse of a good narrator you know?
Not knowing when to stop talking..

For this winter’s tale I bid you farewell and wish you my greatest tidings on this fair season.
If you have reached this point in our tale then you will have given me but the greatest gift any narrator could desire, your attention and your patience.

Merry Christmas to you from Me, The ‘Clause’ family, Old Eddie and our lost Emma.
May the season bring you as many joys as it did our cast.

I hope to see you next year.

Christmas is the time for narrators after all.
I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t offer you another tale when the snow falls again next year, wouldn’t I?..

Thank you again and goodnight.

“-and I want his resignation on my desk within the hour Janine!”

“..but sir it’s Christmas?.. and it’s JENNY!”
Her frustrated yell was interrupted by the heavy slam of his fine-cut imported Italian mahogany doors.

“Oh do I HATE this time of year! ‘but it’s Christmas’, ‘help the homeless it’s Christmas’, ‘send your cousin a gift it’s Christmas!’. I HATE Christmas.. it’s a bloody cash grab!”
His frustrated footsteps brought him around his desk and down into his seat of rich Corinthian leather.

He really is a Jackass.. they always are at this time of year..

I much prefer summer projects, it’s far easier to give someone a summer romance experience that changes their life then THIS garbage.
Speaking of work.. I’d better get back to mine.

“Hey Mac, got a light?”

He jumped delightfully!
Put them in a suit, feed them a few years of people bowing down to them and they think they’re the big strong man on campus, but deep down they’re all cowards in the end.

I guess I can cut him some slack.
It’s not every day your average fiftieth-floor open-plan Swedish designed office space is invaded by a visitor of MY caliber after all.

The fact that I’m floating probably isn’t helping either I guess?

“Don’t stand on ceremony for my account, it okay if I help myself to yer brandy Mac? Always have brandy this time of year, its tradition.”
He seems to be gathering himself back together slightly.
That’s promising, the fast ones are usually more open minded in general..
“Don’t bother calling security, or trying to leave. We’re in a different plane of existence, temporarily at least..”

“Who the hell are you?”

Despite what I said he reached for his desk phone.. minimalist inspired, hand crafted from the finest plastics for comfort, naturally.
When he didn’t even get a tone from the expensive waste of company resources his face paled and he turned to look at me properly at last.

THERE’S the look.
Fear, awe, confusion and the desperate hope that everything before him is some kind of horrible nightmare.. they always get this look on their faces eventually.

“hmm.. how to best introduce myself..”
Right on time.. heh, time pun..
Right on time, his high end diamond and gold encrusted wall clock let off a slight electronic tone to indicate the new hour.

I miss real clocks.. you can’t beat a nice ominous ‘bong’ sound for this sort of thing!

“Expect the first ghost when the bell tolls one?”
Apparently I need to work on my winning smile because he really didn’t seem to find me either amusing or reassuring for some reason.
“Welcome to your night of redemption Scroogey..”

“It’s the afternoon and my name’s not ‘Scrooge’?”

Nice try Mac but I’ve heard better before.
That’s not even imaginative!

“My name’s not really ‘the ghost of Christmas past’ either, hell I’m not even a ghost.. budget cuts, you know how it is?”
I shrugged for effect and poured out a tall glass of his hundred year old Brandy before snagging the bottle so I could take a nice big gulp from it instead.
“You know how that goes, right Scroogey?”

“..I’m not an evil man?..”
His eyes were practically begging me to understand his words.
They always do it, it’s kind of pathetic really..

“You’re a miserable man. You bring that misery upon everyone you see too, as I said, you know how it goes Scroogey.”
He flinched away from me.

He’s being rather boring and predictable sadly, gutless business executives are a dime-a-dozen these days, I miss the good old days when they at least had the strength of their convictions to argue back..

“What do you want from me?”

With a heavy sigh I put the now empty brandy bottle on his desk, without using a coaster, and stared at him thoughtfully.
Neat haircut, pressed suit, rough finger-nails though.. strange his type are normally up for manicures at the very least?

“I’m your ghost of Christmas past.. or as close as you’re going to get to one.. you’ve read the book, seen the movie and probably even acted in the play during your years in a high class boarding school Scoogey.”
I know he did, he played the pauper begging for a penny.
The irony would be rather funny if the whole thing didn’t leave him with such a huge chip on his shoulder in the process.
“I don’t want anything FROM you. I want to show you the error of your ways.”

He opened his mouth to argue but before he could quite decide what he was going to say I snatched up the remote control on his desk and hit the power button.
Behind me an innocent looking eighteenth century cupboard whirred away pushing a fifty inch flat-screen TV up from inside itself.

“Nice set up, must have cost a pretty penny.. although I’m sure YOU managed to get it all signed off as ‘expenses’ huh?”

That ruffled his feathers.
Again.. boring, his sort never do like being accused of misusing company funds.

“Now let’s sit back while I show you Christmas past in all its Glory.”
I reclined against his desk and hummed to myself lightly as the screen finally kicked in.

The image scrambled for a second but quickly it was back in full black and white ‘HD’.
As the theme tune started rolling around the room I stopped my humming and settled in for the long haul.

“You’ve got to be kidding me?”
I shot him an annoyed look and snagged one of his cigar’s in revenge for the interruption.

“Quiet, it’s a classic.. what kind of heartless bastard doesn’t like ‘It’s a wonderful life’ at Christmas?!”
The view ‘panned’ up to some ‘star’s and some voices started talking to each other in some kind of impersonation of a meeting of heavenly beings.

“HA! ‘IQ of a rabbit and the faith of a child’ they SO nailed Clarence!”

*******

“What was the point of that?.. and why did you stop it just before the bit where it started getting to the moral of the story?”

Do my ears deceive me or does it actually sound like SOMEONE was getting into it?
Maybe he’s not irredeemable after all!

“Don’t blame me, I didn’t make the rules.. sodding Charles Dickens..”
His mouth opened in confusion as he went to question me again but with a wave of my hand I distracted him with my answer.
His eyes followed the appendage to his pretty space-aged looking wall clock with the stupid chime.

Two minutes to two.
“My times almost up..”

“You can’t be serious? How the hell can you call showing me half of an old movie my ‘vision of Christmas past’?!”
When my eyes drifted back over to him he froze as if I was going to shout at him or something.

No idea why, as these things go he’s been rather pleasant so far really?

“Told’ya Mac, budget cuts. It’s not like the whole ‘past, present and future’ thing WORKS in real life after all, I’ve just got to go through the motions and hit my quotas.”
His mouth flapped uncertainly like a fish for a second.
It’s really not a flattering look..
“My time as your ‘ghost of Christmas past’ is over. It’s been fun Mac, thanks for the Cigar and Brandy an’ all.”

When I pushed off his desk he flinched back but practically surged to his feet indignantly a moment later.
This is always a fun bit!

“You can’t just LEAVE like that?!”

I turned and smirked at him, shoving the cigar in my mouth and popping my neck slightly.
The whole motion is built to put him on the wrong foot.
It’s too aggressive body language-wise for his sort to handle usually.

“Watch me.”

With little more fanfare than a slight tinkling of bells I faded out of his office leaving him behind to gape away in surprise.
Now I just need to find where I left th- AH! There it is!

******

The posh little overly expensive clock on his wall chimed out two o’clock and I faded into his office with a graceful twirl.

“I’m you’re ghost of Christmas Present, ready to have some fun?”
His mouth dropped open in awe.

I couldn’t help but giggle as his eyes scanned up the curve of my breasts, down my long legs starting at mid-thigh from my tight fire-engine red mini-dress and finally back up to my overly made-up face.
The urge to flick my hair and pout for him came to me so I did it easily, best part of the job is teasing the clients like this!

“What the hell do you mean YOU’RE my ‘ghost of Christmas Present?! You only left for like a MINUTE how the hell did you get so.. so..”

I believe the word he’s looking for is ‘cute’.. ‘adorable’.. ‘elegant’.. ‘enticing?’..
‘Perfectly beautiful in every way’?..

“When did you grow TITS?!”

MEN! Right charmer this one!
Five seconds in and he’s drooling over the twins like a horny teenager?!

“I’m sure I have NO idea what you’re talking about..”
He’s doing that flapping ‘fish’ mouth thing again, he really needs to stop doing that..

“Don’t give me that rubbish! I’ll admit the disguise is good but it’s not perfect AND you’ve still got the cigar you stole from me tucked behind your ear!”

Careful to not give away my chagrin at being caught so easily I moved a hand up to my perfect blonde curls and patted around until my hand touched something solid.
With a yank I came face to face with the cigar, just as he said.. so THAT’S where I put it!
I swear I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached sometimes!

“um.. Hi again Mac.. I guess?..”
I brushed a hand through my hair and he winced, probably when he realised just who he’d just been staring at with lust.

I know I’m hot in this form.
It’s kind of part of the job description, the ‘Christmas present’ I’m representing just happens to be the time of the ‘hot but obviously drunk girl from the office Christmas party’..
A couple of years ago I got to turn up for this bit as everyone’s favorite overweight drunk uncle but then drink-driving became a ‘bad’ thing and people stopped going out every day on the build-up to Christmas!

“This is a lot more awkward when you know who I am.. can we just pretend you didn’t see through the special effects and get on with this? I’ve only got an hour after all..”

He shook his head a bit too viciously for my liking but I’m done pandering to him.
I’ve got a job to do!

Before he could stop me I snatched up his remote control again and started hitting buttons.
The lights dimmed, TV flipped over to the ‘Disco-Disco’ radio station and started flashing out one of those groovy psychedelic visualisation light shows.

You’ve got to love Cable, I don’t know how we survived before they introduced a one-stop shop for random junk no-one asked for!

“Come on Mr Boss-man, get off that slightly flabby old ass and dance with me!”
He didn’t move from his chair.

With a sigh I shimmied my hips to the beat of the seventy’s greatest hits and made a straight line move for his cabana bar in the corner.
If he’s going to be a grumpy asshole about this than I’m at least getting drunk on his dollar!

“Can we get the whole ‘showing me the Christmas present’ part of this thing over and done with?”
I glared at him over my shoulder.

With an effort to ignore him I flicked my hair with a huff and put the top on his cocktail shaker so I could mix business with pleasure.. making my drink while dancing to disco music, obviously.
I don’t think he likes this version of me?

He keeps squinting.. he should probably do something about that soon, it’s going to give him wrinkles..

“Bop Bop”
The tune ended and so did my shaking routine with a few little hops on the spot.
It took a while for all the accessory’s that come with the costume to stop moving but eventually the twins settled down and so did the rest of me.
“Cheer up Mac, your acting like I’m short changing you or something, need I remind you that you’re getting my services for free here..”

He snorted back a laugh.
Probably because I said ‘services’ while looking like this.
Guy’s like him always have their minds half stuck in the gutter!

“This IS your ‘Christmas Present’ Scroogey, people partying to excess while you sit on your ass being grumpy about it all.. couldn’t be more appropriate if I tried really huh?”

He sighed and leaned back into his chair to stare up at his office ceiling.
For a moment he seemed to be unsure of what to do next but eventually a sigh escaped his lips again.

“..why me?..”

“Oh that’s easy, because you’re a self-hating narcissist that doesn’t see all the harm he causes people. The fact that your practically a lost cause means I’m not going to even try and help you, how does that old line go?.. ‘doomed Scooge, your doomed for all time, your future is a horror story written by your crimes’.

He didn’t seem to find that line amusing for some reason.
First wonderful life, now the Muppets Christmas Carol.. this guy really has NO sense of culture does he?!

“..philistine..”

******

“-Yes sir, I can boogie! But I need a certain song, I can boogie, boogie boogie, all night loooonnnggg.”
My eyes caught on the pathetic little ‘clock’.
“Damn is that the time?”

Only a minute to go, I was just getting into this whole dancing with myself thing too!

“It’s been fun Mac but this is my stop. Hope your starting to see the error of your ways, blah blah blah, expect the next ghost when the.. crappy little digital clock chimes three?..”
He honestly looks kind of relieved to see the back of me?

My singing’s not THAT bad is it? I’m actually kind of hurt..

“You’re out of Martini.. and Rum.. and that Green stuff, can’t remember the name but boy did THAT have a kick!”
He sighed heavily.
No pleasing some people, I offered him a drink and he turned it down, not my problem.
“Ghost of Christmas Present, peace out!”

The bells tinkled and I was gone leaving him alone with his empty cabana bar to think about what he’s done.
I can’t believe he didn’t like my singing!.. also where did I put that scythe?..

******

The ‘clock’ chimed its little electronic warble.

I appeared behind him this time and just stood there.
This one’s always fun, I’ve not met a single person yet who doesn’t get caught with this one!

For a long minute he sat there obviously waiting for something to happen.
I kept my last body on under this one which was probably a mistake because I really want to giggle at how silly he looks right now and THIS form doesn’t ‘giggle’, it’s in the instruction manual somewhere I think?..

Finally after almost another minute he rolled his shoulders back and came face to face with a seven-foot tall Grim Reaper smiling down at him with its bone-y face.
Naturally like any other sane person he screamed and tried to scrabble away from me.

My far too long bone-y arms came up slightly as I instinctively tried to muffle my giggles with them but I managed to resist the urge before he really noticed.
Honestly his eyes seemed more focused on the Scythe in my hand then what I may or may not be doing?
I can’t really blame him, it’s a nice one.

I got it from an Amish fellow a few thousand Christmas’s back.
I think he was Amish at least?.. maybe I just made that bit up to entertain myself at the time who knows..

“W..w..what d..do you..you want?”

Credit to ya Mac I really didn’t think you’d have the balls to question the Grim Reaper!
This is usually the point where you’re lot fall to pieces.

My eyes scanned around the room, the skull mask above me mirroring my actions as it went.
Finally I settled back on him and I sighed heavily.

Luckily the Reaper costume doesn’t ‘sigh’ in general, lacking lungs and all.. that would just be creepy!

Eh?.. Sod it!
I’m under-budget for once. He deserves something real for being such a good sport over everything.
Besides, showing someone a grave on TV just doesn’t have that raw visceral effect that you get from a real spooky graveyard!

Without a word I moved towards his big important looking office doors.
He didn’t follow me at first but it was practically inevitable that he would eventually.

“You..you want me to come with you?”
I twisted my head to stare at him and the skull mask copied my actions.
The whole effects pretty creepy but it works which is the important thing.
“I.. uh.. o..okay?”

He slowly made his way towards me.
When he reached my side I stretched a little, careful to not let the movement show through on the costume of course.

It’s been a while since I’ve done any REAL miracles.
The power alones kind of expensive to start with and with today’s consumerist western society there’s pretty much no point in even trying to save some of these idiots from themselves.

Re-engaging the costumes arms I leaned the scythe down and tapped the doors.
I may have accidentally left a little mark on the wood but I’m sure he’ll remember me because of it when this is all over so it’s more of a gift then vandalism to my mind.

The other inhumanly long bone arm moved out and pulled the door open.

Instead of his secretary’s office as he’d no doubt expected to see the door now led out onto a snow covered graveyard.
All the dead trees you could ever want dotted around and even a few curious ravens to add to the melodrama of the whole thing.

Sitting right in front of us, slightly down the incline was one large gravestone set apart from the others.
It’s facing away from us as you would expect.
It helps ramp up the tension.

Doing this job is a lot like writing a story or directing a TV show, you have to keep your audience on edge or you lose them and everything becomes pointless.

“S..spirit? That’s not.. that can’t be my..”
I turned the skull mask towards him with its blank unseeing eyes and then turned back to the grave.
Slowly my hand moved up and the bone one followed to point him towards it ominously.

He shivered and shuddered but ever so reluctantly started pacing towards the stone.

As he reached its edge he turned back to me with hopeless eyes, begging for me to say he wouldn’t see what he expected.
Expectations are wonderful things sometimes.

He expects to see his own name and death date.
I expect to see the funniest thing I get to enjoy today!

I had to practically disengage the entire costume leaving the ‘Reaper’ frozen with its finger pointing towards the grave so I could give in to the urge and have a nice long silent cackle at the look on his face.

They make this job SO easy sometimes!

His head hung low like a dead-man walking, slowly he turned away from me and made his way around to face the front of the grave.
It was obviously covered in snow and frost to a point where it was unreadable, that’s just the way these things work.

With almost painful care and fearful eyes he reached out, dirtying up his nice suit by rubbing away the years of dirt and debris so he could see the inscription.
Here it comes..

“What?.. Hang on! This isn’t my grave?!”

I couldn’t take it anymore!
The lost look of confusion he sent at the Reaper body cracked me up.
With a shimmy and a roll I slid out of the Reapers flowing black robe and landed hard on the icy grass in a giggling mess of short dress and barely restrained boobs.

Copying my bone-y alter-ego I stuck a hand up and pointed at him while rolling around in mirth and kicking my legs to keep some form of balance.

“YOU!”
Oh my god!
Oh god I’m gonna pee myself!

The look on his FACE!
PRICELESS!

“What the hell are you laughing about?! This isn’t FUNNY! You just damn near scared me to death!!”
For a long moment I locked eyes with him and carelessly flicked my long hair out of my face before cracking up again with the giggles.

“Oh that was SO good! Had you going for a minute there Mac?!”
His face scrunched up angrily but I was on a roll at this point.
“You really think I have it in my budget to use TIME-TRAVEL on YOUR ungrateful ass?!”
His face scrunched up even more and flushed red with both anger and embarrassment.
“We’re in Morningside Cemetery, Edinburgh! That’s Scotland to you, ya ignorant pleb, I’m sure old Ms Betty McCarthy there is right glad you came to visit her grave. She don’t get much visitors no-more, not since the sixteen-hundreds at least!”

He started storming his way towards me.
Reluctantly I had to let the laughing fit go to focus back on him.
This is the point where the decision is made.

Will he accept his flaws and see the light or will he let his anger consume him and slap a ‘poor defenceless drunk girl’..

Come on Mac, you can do it!
His hands fisted a few times but slowly they came lose again as he got closer and closer to me.
His stomps became more measured as he went until he finally came to a stop hovering over me with an almost confused look on his face.

“You set this up didn’t you?”
Well DUH!
“This whole time you’ve been messing with me to set me off and see what makes me tick?”

Well I wouldn’t go THAT far Mac.
You had some damn fine booze in your office and it’d be a shame to waste it on someone like YOU after all..

“This isn’t some cheesy moral lesson about ‘the meaning of Christmas’ is it? You know I’d never fall for that load of crap.. this is to show me how bad I can be, isn’t it?”
Again, I was going more for the ‘hitting my quota for the night’ angle but whatever floats his boat I guess?
“You pushed me to breaking point and my reaction.. I.. I was like my father?.. I nearly hit a wo-”

WHOA! Watch it bub, this dress is dry clean only!
Luckily he leaned away from me as he collapsed in on himself and vomited into the grass but it was a pretty close call to my eyes.

Feeling just a hint of guilt over the whole thing I reached out and rubbed his back a little as he spat and heaved a bit more.
I don’t hate the guy or anything after all, it’s all just business..

It looks like he got A message loud and clear, even if I’m not completely sure what that message is?

From his reaction I’m guessing his father was somewhat abusive to his mother?
They should really put something like that on his file?!

This whole thing could have been so much easier if I’d known about THAT little detail!

“You gonna be okay Mac?”
He heaved one more time but sighed heavily and nodded his head anyways.

Despite the cold he struggled out of his expensive suit jacket as he straightened up.
With careful steps he went around to the other side of me and slowly let himself down until we were sitting next to each other.
From inside a garter strap hidden high up on my thigh I pulled out a little folded handkerchief for him to wipe his mouth with.

He’s not the first guy I’ve worked with who’s puked out of shock, relief or fear.. sometimes all three..

He stared at the offered handkerchief for a moment before cracking a smile and laughing under his breath slightly in disbelief.
He took the offer eventually and started clearing around his mouth almost delicately.

“What’s your name?”

He caught me completely off guard with that one.
I shuffled my slightly cold but still fabulous butt on the grass a little and wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Christmas. Everyone calls me Christmas.”
I’m not one for the mushy stuff, especially with clients.

Christmas is more of a job title really but I’ve been doing this so long that my real name doesn’t necessarily apply anymore anyway.

It’s not like I get time off or anything!
Even when it’s not actually Christmas there are always assholes out there in need of a good ‘Scrooge’ treatment so it feels like Christmas to me most of the time anyway.

“That’s an odd name.. mine’s not ‘Mac’ or ‘Scoogey’ by the way, it’s Lyle.”
He stuck his hand out towards me, not the one holding handkerchief of course.

After a long moments indecision I reached out and gave it a limp shake.
This body doesn’t exactly do ‘strong macho’ handshakes sadly.

Off in the distance a set of bells started ringing.
Three O’Clock already.. quitting time I guess?..

“It’s been fun Mac. Hopefully I won’t see ya again but who knows, maybe you’ll stay an asshole by next year eh?”
He chuckled lightly and let his head sink down a little in recognition of my words.

Much better!
I like him better like this, humbled and self-aware looks good on anybody.

With a surge I pushed myself up to my feet and turned to smile down at him.

“Time I left Mac.. it’s been fun, sorry I drank all ya booze and stuff..”
His lips curled up into a smirk which I couldn’t help but mirror.
“You stay on the straight and narrow now boy-o or I’ll have to come torment you with my singing again ya hear?!”

He chuckled to himself but nodded along anyway.
As I turned back towards the ‘Reaper’ skin he suddenly jolted up to his feet in surprise.

“Wait, what about getting me home?!”
With a gleeful giggle I broke into a sprint, ignoring his call.
“HEY! You can’t just leave me here!”

I spun on the spot as my arm came into contact with the Reaper’s cloak.
“Do I look like I’m made of money? One CGI traversal of space per customer Mac, anything more and I’m not making a profit!”
He leaned forward as if he was going to actually chase me down but I caught his eye making him stall suddenly in surprise.
“You’re a big boy. I’m sure you can find your own way home from here, think of it as a mini-holiday? I hear the peaks are lovely this time of year..”

The bells in the distance rang out their final chime.
Obviously someone’s training an apprentice or something at the bell-ringers society because that lasted for way too long in my opinion.

“It’s been fun.. Lyle.. take care Mr Boss-man.”

With those parting words I used the last of my meagre budget to turn both the Reaper skin and myself invisible to his perception by shifting dimensions slightly, just enough so that I’m out of phase but not enough that I can’t see him still standing there staring at the point where I was in confusion and just a HINT of amusement.

I don’t want to say that I ‘liked’ him at all but he wasn’t too bad for a human.
I’d go so far as to say that I’m fond of him now, like a particularly dumb pet or something?

He was a lot better than most of the blow-hard clients I have to deal with usually at least!

It shouldn’t be that much of a surprise though I guess considering.. his soul being what it is?
If that stupid little trollop of May’s would do her job for once maybe-

“What the hell are you doing?”
Speak of the devil and she shall appear behind you with a burning aura of fury!

“Huh?.. ACK! What are you doing here fairy princess?!”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”
She stamped her white ballet slipper down on the frozen grass like the petulant child she is.

In my opinion she really DOES try too hard with the whole ‘angel’ thing.
Her Momma May, now SHE could pull the look off, but the Fairy Princess here just.. well..

She took a step closer to me and leaned in as if she was trying to be intimidating.
Oh PLEASE!
“Whatever you say Swan Lake, what are YOU doing here?”

“I asked first! What are you doing with one of MY clients?!”
Oh? So she DOES know she has a job to do after all huh?

Well that’s ten quid I owe Barty!
I was convinced she’d let her fascination with bestiality screw with her work ethic to a point of obliviousness or something?

“He’s one of yours is he?.. huh, you know I never noticed..”

“Don’t give me that crap old man, two days before his file finally goes dormant from my books YOU turn up and start doing that stupid ‘Scrooge’ routine of yours ‘just by dumb luck’, uh-uh I ain’t buying it!”
She stamped her little ballet flat again and squared up to me.
It’s kind of annoying that she’s taller than me by a head with this body but that doesn’t make her look any less of a prissy little girl having a temper tantrum.

“Funny I’m not selling anything so I guess we’re all sorted then? I’ll just be on my way, busy night you know I got ah-urk!”

STRONG HANDS!
FAR too strong hands!

Get her off! I can’t breathe!!
..oh wait.. I don’t need to breath? DUH!..

“Oh NO you don’t! Because YOU couldn’t leave things well enough alone, I’VE got to put up with this crap on Christmas Eve of all times!”
She sighed wistfully and fixed me with another angry glare.
“I’m supposed to be off sorting out a gender confused wombat in Australia right now, not hanging out in this dingy corner of the world with your alcoholic ass!”

Without much warning she dropped me on said ‘alcoholic’, but still rather nice if I do say so myself, ass.

I slowly pulled myself back to my heels and grumbled under my breath.
“Yeah, wombats, that’s TOTALLY the important area of your job you should be focusing on.. bet the little thing ‘happens’ to live on the beachfront of a nudist beach with an open bar too, huh?”

“DON’T you take that tone with me!”

She waved a glittery pink fingernail in my face.
I was tempted to take a bite at it but held off in favor of using words instead.
Words are always the more civilised way to fight after all..

“Oh yeah, what you going to do about it you lazy, half-assed work-shy wannabe FAIRY-PRINCESS?!”

She growled low in her ‘angelic’ throat and stepped right into my personal space.
Before I could do much more than stare up at her in surprise her hand came down heavily on my head and a wave of pressure hit me so hard I ended up falling back on my poor abused mini-dress covered butt!

“..owwie..”
As my head started to clear certain sensations and twitching muscles which REALLY shouldn’t be there registered in my head.

“Oh.. you bitch?!”
I flexed my nimble fingers and the latency delay from input to action, even if it is usually barely noticeable, wasn’t present at all.
“..did you just..”

Well what did you expect would happen Genius?
You picked a fight with the goddess of gender-confusion and let her land the first punch?!

My hands came up to cup the, suddenly very sensitive and much more jiggly then I remember, objects stuck firmly to my now smaller ribcage by flesh and muscle.
“Holy shit, these things are REAL!”

She smirked at me in amusement.
If anything I’ve SHRUNK too!
It feels like she’s staring down at me from WAY higher than before!

Although, maybe that’s just my perceptions playing tricks with my sense of perspective?.. I hope..

“Stop touching yourself in public, it’s rude, act like a lady.”
She smirked darkly at me.
Obviously she’s enjoying herself and she thinks she’s ‘won’ in some way.

“Hey fuck YOU Swan Lake, despite what you just did I AIN’T no lady!”

“Could have fooled me.. now, on to the important part, what to do about.. HIM..”
I glared up at her as she cut her amused eyes away from me and over to Lyle who was slowly making tracks away from us towards the exit on the far side of the cemetery.

“How about doing your god-damned job for once an-“
She turned back to me and that aura of rage showed it’s truly ugly head again silencing me instantly.

“Do you WANT me to turn you into a gender-confused wombat, because I am THIS close to doing it?!”

I couldn’t resist the urge to gulp heavily and shrink away from her.. just a little bit..
“..I’ll be good..”

“Right, good, now.. to business!”

******

With a puff of pixie dust and an unnecessarily ‘flashy’ flash of light we appeared on the path in front of Lyle.

His eyes widened in shock as he took in the ‘benevolent blonde angel’ before him.
I did my best to hide behind her slightly so he wouldn’t see me.

It’s one thing to flaunt a body when it’s not yours but coming back to someone I just got done working with in the same, but much more REAL body feels like bumping into that guy you slept with on the morning after the office Christmas party.. not that I know what that feels like or anything..

I’m always working during the Christmas party, ironic as that may be.

Swan Lake was having none of it though.
Her vice-like claws had my wrist held tightly and with little more than a tug she had me front and center for Lyle to focus on.

“Christmas?”
I cringed and tried to shrink away again.

My dress is both riding UP and DOWN at the same time which isn’t helping anything.
I bet my hair’s a mess too!

It’s amazing the things you miss when you’ve suddenly got a corporeal body to wear again.
So far I miss being naturally ‘perfect’ and the certain lack of the ability to feel temperatures.
In other words it’s bloody COLD here!

“Lyle Cane? I’m in charge of your case, come with me I’ve got an offer to make.”
Without a backwards glance she turned and started marching towards the cemetery gates.
I reluctantly followed along, more dragged than anything else and shot Lyle an apologetic look over my shoulder.

No wonder she doesn’t work with people much, some people have just got NO bedside manner!

He sped up his pace to follow us eventually but kept shooting me curious glances as he went making my cheeks flush even more than they already had from the cold.
My free hand fought valiantly to get my mini-dress to either stay up or down, I don’t care which as long as it does one of them, and focused on not flinching when Swan Lake pushed the gates open onto a swirling vortex of wasted CGI budget.

“Hold your breath, it makes it easier on the other side.”
Lyle nodded and did so as we all stepped forward through the portal.

******

Out the other side I took in a deep breath.
Swan Lake didn’t need to obviously because she’s not corporeal right now but a second later Lyle started sputtering and coughing which brought a grin to my face.

Never hold your breath when you go through a portal dumbass!
Rookie mistake!

“Was that really necessary?”
Reluctantly I turned my eyes to the Fairy Princess in charge and frowned slightly in response.

Necessary?.. No..
Funny?.. Hell yeah!

“You’ve been doing this job too long. It’s jaded you and made you unnecessarily cruel..”

HEY! Don’t go preaching unnecessary cruelty to ME Princess!
I’M not the one who wastes her time helping ‘poor wittle animals’ with their gender identity rather than the millions of desperate and suffering humans that you leave out in the cold like the complete narcissistic BITCH that you are!!

“When this is over I think I’ll put in a proposal to have your Apprentice Yule take over from you at last?”

YULE?!
That dopy little twit couldn’t scare his way out of a paper bag!

It’s oh so EASY for YOU Princess?!
Your clients actually WANT to change!
My job practically demands that I be the bad guy, day in, day out helping people that don’t deserve it have a second chance!

Yule wouldn’t last a DAY doing this job for real.
The kids got too soft a heart and a pretty soft brain to match!

“You have an Apprentice?”
I jumped slightly, having forgotten Lyle was there in my angry glaring session with Princess.

“Ah.. kinda? He’s useless honestly, it wasn’t my choice or anything. Apparently we don’t have enough budget to provide a full service anymore but we have enough to keep one of the higher up’s brain-dead son’s in work anyway..”
I don’t really hate the kid or anything it’s just annoying when it’s so obvious the only reason he’s there is because Daddy dearest commanded it and it makes my job so much harder in exchange.

“Oh.. so.. uh, where are we exactly?”

I shot a glance over at Swan Lake but she seemed busy staring through the window of the rather large house we’d appeared outside.
Yet again she’s ignoring her Job!

I stuck my finger in my mouth and held it up to the wind thoughtfully.
Mild chill, no sub-arctic winds, air pressure’s mild too..
“If I had to guess I’d say we’re about twenty miles from your office tower.”

Lyles eyes went wide in awe.
I couldn’t help but preen a little under his attention.
Look at me with the cool moves!

“Do you HAVE to lie constantly?”
My preening came to an instant stop at Swan Lakes sudden question.

She spun around and glared at me with her arms folded over her chest.
After a painfully long stare off she glanced over at Lyle and flicked her head, nodding in the direction behind him.

I couldn’t help but cringe when he turned and saw the same thing I did when we first landed.
Namely a lot of trees that didn’t quite cover the metropolitan sprawl and recognisable skyline, including his office tower, in the distance.

He turned sharply and gave me a mild glare.
With little other options left I shrugged to him guiltily.

What can I say?
After a while you get used to working on a budget and everything becomes a magic trick of some kind or another almost instinctively..

“More importantly, come to this window.”
When we both hesitated she turned on the angry aura which got us both moving almost instantly.
“Look inside and tell me what you see?”

We both peered in.
Lyle seemed to get lost and a little misty eyed so I took the reins and spoke first.

“Looks like someone’s trying to remake the Walton’s Christmas special from nineteen-seventy-six with a cast of worryingly young actors and a sponsorship from the GAP’S ‘modern Yuppy’ catalogue?”
Snow White glared at me hard.

Well she ASKED?!

“Thats..”
My eyes drifted over to Lyle.
He had tears in his eyes now.

He seemed to be transfixed on the woman playing the ‘Mother’ in this stupid little stage play of a Christmas meal for some reason?

I turned my attention back to her and squinted hard.
Nice pair of tit’s on her if nothing else?
Kind of got a cute face too, although it’s obviously showing her age a little?
Unsurprisingly with the amount of kids around the table she’s got big old ‘child-bearing’ hips too!

Her husband must be pretty happy?
I’ve seen married men that have had sex less times then he’s had kids apparently?!

“I think we’ve seen enough here.”
My head turned to shoot the Fairy Princess a confused look.
Why does she have to be all cryptic with this stuff suddenly?

Lyle seemed reluctant to leave at first but a wave from her and a not so gentle nudge from me set him walking slowly back across the snow covered yard.
Just as we were getting out of range from their annoyingly happy laughter a single sentence managed to escape from the house making Lyle freeze in shock for some reason?

“What time’s Candy getting here with her lot Lana?”
I watched, kind of fascinated, as Lyle took in a deep breath and wiped at his eyes again before following in Swan Lakes footprints.

With one last confused glance back towards the house as a large black SUV came rumbling up the path towards it I followed them both into the portal that had appeared pretty much where the last one dropped us in the first place.

******

“You okay there Scroogey?”
Lyle’s breath caught in his throat and he turned to me with wide confused eyes.

“That was ME!”

Uh.. No?..
I’m lookin’ at you and I don’t see no child-bearing hips OR them Tig-ol-bittys!

“Lana.. that’s what my Mother was going to call me if I’d been born a girl..”

My eyes quickly swung around to glare at Swan Lake accusingly.
THAT’S cheating!
She’s stacking the deck to show him what he needs to see!

“..I’m on to you Princess..”
The bitch had the arrogance to smirk at me!

“Whe..where are we now?”
I’m not even going to try and fake it this time.
It’s no fun when he’s seen through the trick after all..
“Wait.. I know this?.. this is my University campus?”

Oh Joy! Snow Whites stealing MY bit?!
She’s got it all wrong too, you’re meant to go from youth to old age not the other way around!

Amateur!

“Well we haven’t got all day. Lead on Snow White.”
That one got me an angry glare from her.
I’ll have to remember to call her it more often.

“This way..”

She lead us through some snow covered paths and finally back inside the warm halls until we reached some kind of Library.
Lyle flinched at the sight of it so I’m going to take a guess and say we’re at our destination?

Inside the place was practically empty.
The only exceptions being a beefy looking guy in the corner who didn’t seem particularly comfortable and a rather pretty girl with a familiar face surrounded by long brown hair tucked loosely behind her ear as she stared hard at a book that probably weighed more than she did.

Lyle gasped in shock and I sighed heavily.

“She did the same courses as me?”
Snow White’s face was practically glowing with pride as she watched him process this whole thing.

It’s all a big scam!
She’s showing him a possible future that’s all.
For all we know this girl could have turned out any number of ways that she isn’t showing but THOSE don’t fit the narrative she wants to show!

Without another word the Fairy Princess turned to leave the area.
Lyle stayed transfixed again for a long moment but this time he started moving before I did.
As we left the area there was some kind of commotion inside the Library?

Being the last one out I glanced over and caught a blonde bundle of energy come bouncing in from the stacks and excitedly slamming a book almost as big as the other girls one down on the table with obvious pride.

Off to the side the uncomfortable beef-cake seemed to almost shrink in on himself shyly.
Huh? Maybe he prefers blondes after all?..

With a light giggle I ruffled my own now blonde hair and took the last step out into the portal.
Who can blame him?
Blondes are awesome!

******

When I came out the other end of the portal this time I was alone.
Apparently they’ve both moved off without me?

With that in mind I glanced around the little slice of snow covered suburbia we’d landed in and started following the messy footprints that lead away from the portal in an obvious beeline for one house specifically.

Rather than play games I went to walk through the front door to see if I could spot the others and ended up walking face first into it instead.
..oh yeah.. corporeal body now..

With an angry huff and clutching my nose tightly, I made my way around to the back of the Christmas light covered house instead.

I turned the last corner into the back yard to find Swan Lake leading a teary Lyle away from the house.
They both perched themselves on a little bench in the garden as Lyle pulled himself back together.

More out of curiosity than anything else I wandered over to see what was going on.
The minute Lyle spotted me he was back on his feet and rushing over to wrap me in a tight awkward hug.
“..thank you..”

Why does it feel like I’ve missed something here?!

Swan Lake smirked at me slightly as she stepped over to us and put a hand on each of our shoulders.
Foregoing her usual CGI portal the world faded out around us, followed quickly by it fading back in with a completely different backdrop.

This time we’re in a bedroom of some kind?

Lyle sniffed and finally pulled away from me to look around the room in no small amount of awe.
If I had to guess I’d say we are currently in a little girl’s bedroom.. make that ‘girls’.. plural?
Two little beds that look unreasonably tiny even to my shrunken body, both draped in pink bedding.

Almost instantly I took a liking to the girl on the right bed over her presumed ‘sister’!

While the room in general and the bedding is out of some kind of girly-girl’s fantasy, at least the right-bed girl is showing signs of being a tomboy?
There’s nothing wrong with being pretty, look at me currently for example, but a girl has to be more than just fluff and giggles in my opinion.

The little shelf above her bed with a few baseball trophies and posters of skateboarders makes me think she’s going to be a little hellion when she’s older.
I love a girl with a sense of fun about her!

My eyes kept drifting along the wall and I couldn’t help but wince when a picture next to several more trophies on the back wall by the window registered in my head.

Okay.. so she also does Ballet apparently?..
I stared hard at the picture with two little girls on it.
Both were dressed up like ballerinas in their pink tutu’s and smiling for the camera while striking a pose.

I wonder which one of them is the baseball player, the blonde or the brunette?
There’s no doubt they’re related from their similar facial features obviously but they both look equally ‘girly’ in that picture.

“Have you considered my offer Lyle?”

Offer?
When the hell did she make him an ‘offer’?!

“You’re sure I won’t be harming anyone?”
Despite myself I couldn’t help but smile warmly at him for that.

Not so ‘Scoogey’ after all, huh?
What can I say? I do good work!

“Reality can change, if anything you will be helping many have a second chance at life..”
I shot her a silent glare as Lyle worked it over in his head.

That’s kind of unfair to say? Just because they have a chance to do things again doesn’t mean they are going to do things RIGHT this time?!
Most people tend to have a congenital case of ‘stupid’ in my experience, no fiddling with time is going to fix THAT problem..

“..and the girls?”
She gave him a truly dazzlingly bright, proud smile before answering.

“They don’t exist yet. They will but not yet, you won’t be stealing from anyone, think of it more like you’ve sleep walked through the first few years of your life and you’re only just starting to remember it all.. besides, they’re four?.. it’s not like they can remember much at this point anyway even if they were real.”

She’s really trying to sell him on this ‘deal’ huh?
I’m suspicious.. what’s in it for her?

Careful to not get her attention I slid behind her and glared at Lyle hard until he noticed me.
With a forceful gesture I made the universal ‘cutting’ motion at my neck telling him not to agree to anything.

After a long moment of staring at me his lips pulled up into a bright smile which wasn’t exactly the reaction I was going for.
He turned his head back to Swan Lake and nodded at her happily.

I tried to stop her but as I took a step forward she slapped a hand out that hit me in the tit’s hard and froze my body stiff.

She slid up to Lyle and gently rested her palm on his head.
Like a tidal wave his body started morphing and, above all else, SHRINKING!

Before my eyes he went from an older man, not quite past his prime but getting there, down to a skinny little thing of about eighteen years.. then again into a decidedly feminine looking fifteen.. and on and on..

Eventually her hand left ‘his’ forehead and thick brown curls took its place.
The little four year old beauty queen that had replaced him sagged slightly.
Swan Lake caught her easily enough and with seemingly no effort at all she slid the little girl onto the left bed gently.

My body became unfrozen and I surged forward, shoving Swan Lake out of the way so I could stare into the girl’s eyes intensely.

It took a few seconds to work, corporeal bodies aren’t built to use the sight, but I managed it eventually.
Sitting there happy as ever was Lyle’s consciousness?

I should have expected as much.. his soul was always female to begin with.
Who knew Swan Lake could actually DO her job right once in a while?
It only took a shove from me to do it I guess!

“It’s Christmas Eve Lana, you should be asleep or Santa might not come in the morning.”

Much to my dismay the little brunette bundle that was tucked into her pink bedding giggled and nodded along with Swan Lakes stupidity.
Feeling a little disappointed that it was all over I took a step back and sighed heavily.

It’s not like I ‘like’ him or anything but I’m fond of Lyle.. Lana now I guess?..
I guess.. I should be going to my next appointment?

I’ll have to report this whole ‘sealing me into a corporeal body’ thing to HR after my shift obviously but I doubt Swan Lake will get much more than a slap on the wrist for it.
She works with a minority group, that’s why she gets so much more funding to play with and why she’ll be able to skip out of any real punishment as well!

“Where do you think you’re going exactly?”
I turned and glared at her mildly, still hurting a little from the loss of someone I’d actually bonded with for the first time in years, not that I’d let HER know that..

Her hand came out and snatched my wrist before I could move on and my body froze up again.
She stared at me hard, seemingly considering something deeply although it was pretty obvious to me that it was some kind of ‘act’ she was trying to pull.

“Did you know that Yule was promoted to a full guardian last week?”

WHAT?! That little bastard didn’t tell ME?!!
She smirked at me and cocked her head to the side while dipping her voice down into a conspiratorial whisper.
“I think she needs a guardian angel to keep her on the straight and narrow, don’t you?”

Oh.. OH! That’s brilliant!
Get Yule off my back and doing some good at last!
Serve him right for his snooty attitude, he’s got the temperament to be a guardian angel too!

“Yeah, definitely!”
I shot a grin over at ‘Lana’ who giggled to herself and smiled back.

“..and I think we know just the person for the job.. don’t we?”
I nodded along in glee until the sharp edge to her grin registered in my head but by then it was too late.

“yeah, definitel-.. wait..”

“Lana, meet your new little sister Candice.”
Her hand came up to my forehead and with a wave of pressure it started getting bigger and bigger until it covered my vision completely.

“..oh you complete and utter bitch..”

Swan Lake moved with the grace of her namesake and dipped down to my side so her lips were close enough to my ears that only I could hear her.
“Don’t pretend you didn’t plan this all along Christmas. You already had a replacement in the wings and you tried to steal one of MY clients, I’m not stupid little lady..”

Despite myself I flushed bright red in embarrassment at being caught out.

So I may have.. taken a certain liking to my ‘Christmas Present’ body?..
So I may be due for a vacation back on earth like Swan Lakes Momma is currently enjoying?..
So I also may have chosen Lyle’s case specifically because I could see his potential and I had an inkling that she would give me an ‘appropriate’ punishment when it was all finished?..

I was kind of hoping for the old ‘stuck in the corporeal body’ thing though, not THIS!!

“Still a total bitch Swan Lake, I’m going to have to go through PUBERTY again.. with a.. with a THINGY!”
To the side of us ‘Lana’ started giggling her head off on her bed.

The Fairy Princess lifted me up despite my indignant squawk of protest and placed me gently into the right-hand bed where I turned to glare at my apparent ‘sister’ angrily and pushed a wave of blonde hair out of my face in frustration.

“..yeah, laugh it up.. guess who gets to go along for the ride with me, huh?”
Almost instantly Lana’s laugh cut off and she paled dramatically.
“Bet you didn’t think of THAT little joy when you let her sweet talk you into this deal, huh Mac?”
She turned her head slowly from me and up to Swan Lake with a gulp.

“Now, now girls play nice! Sisters look after each other and you’re going to be the best of friends forever I can just TELL.. after all, you were both ever so excited to be dancing together in two weeks.. what was the show you’re doing again?”
She twisted her angelic face towards me and a dark smirk crossed her lips for a moment.
“Oh that’s it! You’re dancing ‘Swan Lake’ in the community theatres junior production, aren’t you?”

“Oh fuck YOU Snow White!”

“CANDICE LOUISE CANE! You mind your language young lady!”
The roar of an angry Momma bear made even me flinch hard.
I could practically feel her angry steps as she marched towards ‘our’ room.

The vague sound of tinkling bells and just a hint of cackling laughter was all that remained of the Fairy Princess when my head turned back to glare at her.

“..bitch..”

“I HEARD THAT! You are in SO much trouble Candice!”
Lana cracked up laughing which probably isn’t going to calm down Momma-Bear when she gets here in the slightest.

That familiar tinkle of bells rang out lightly again and for just a moment I could make out the vague shape of a woman hovering over me.
“Enjoy your new life Candice, look after Lana.. Merry Christmas.. Oh! Also, when you get to University, keep an eye out for a muscle-bound guy who happens to hide in library’s watching a certain pretty blonde shyly.. not to give spoilers but my ‘Momma’ happens to be on Earth right now you know?.. quite the coincidence huh?”

“Ohhh.. you’re good Snow White..”
The shade of my tormentor giggled to herself and slowly started to fade away again.

“I can’t wait to call you step-mother the next time we meet Candy.”

“OH FU-”
Wait.. CANDY?!

She named me CANDICE!
Candice.. Candy.. Candy Cane!!

“..oh god, I’m named after a Christmas Stripper..”

Lana burst out in laughter again and a shadow fell across our open doorway showing a woman who was obviously related to the ‘older’ Lana we saw before just in the.. uh.. chest and hips?.. department..

“I don’t know where you heard those horrible words young lady but I can guess and if you keep this up there will be NO more baseball for YOU in the New Year!”
I sunk down in ‘my’ bed and tried to hide from the obviously annoyed and far too large to be real ‘Mother’ hovering over me.

“Do you hear me Candice? This goes for you too Lana, one more swear and I PROMISE you won’t enjoy the consequences.. YOU!”
She pointed at me dramatically.
“You’ll end up sharing a wardrobe with your sister. No pants and shirts, just dresses and skirts until College.. and YOU!”
She turned and pointed at Lana too who suddenly seemed to find things a whole lot less funny.
“You’ll get a buzz-cut and go off with your sister to sports camp in the summer.”

To my surprise Lana shrieked in fear and dived under the covers instead of protesting.
I kind of wanted to try my luck but the idea of a future in nothing but the apparently ultra-feminine shoes of ‘my sister’ was enough to stay my tongue.

Momma-bear shot a look between us forcefully before her face softened and she bent down to kiss us both on the head lightly.

“Go to sleep the pair of you, Santa can’t come until you’re asleep. Now that you’re father’s gone I.. uh.. Santa’s really busy this year so you both better hurry or he might get annoyed and skip over us this year!”

Some unreasonable urge pushed itself forward in my brain and I almost unwillingly followed through with it to dive under my covers and lay down feigning sleep.
That must be this new, fully corporeal, body bringing me into line with the universe we exist in.

I think Lyle is almost done adjusting judging by his.. uh, her I guess?.. reactions but it must be taking longer on me due to my inherent nature resisting it all to some degree..

“Love you girls, sweet dreams.”
Momma-bear was surprisingly gentle as she backed out of the room and shut the door leaving us in the partial glow of a nightlight by the door.

After a long stretch of silence between us Lana shuffled on her bed and stared at me through the glow with bright eyes.

“..thanks for everything Christmas..”
I grunted but she wouldn’t let it go.
Slowly her hand came out from under the covers and reach over to me.

With about as much reluctance as I could muster, not that she could see it in the low light, I reached out and slid my hand into hers.
She squeezed down lightly and seemed to settle in for the long haul with our new position.

I let out a sigh but didn’t argue about it.

Might as well get used to this sort of thing I guess?
“It’s Candy now Lana, not ‘Christmas’.. Candy.. Candy Cane..”

A name like that.. Je-SUS!
High school’s going to be a NIGHTMARE!!

Just seventeen more years and I can legally drink again at least?
Not that I’ll be able to enjoy it properly with the whole ‘corporeal liver’ and body package now.

I sighed heavily and tried to get comfortable with my hand apparently claimed for the night by Lana.
My eyes drifted over to my ‘sister’ one more time thoughtfully.

She looked adorable honestly?
The thumb on her free hand has moved up to her mouth which is something I’m GOING to tease her about later obviously but still.. it could be worse I guess?

As retirement packages go, getting to be part of one poor little lost girl’s ‘Christmas Present’ of a lifetime is better than nothing at least!

May’s down here on earth too.. hopefully our plan worked and this whole mess will finally give Snow White the kick in the ass she needed to stop protecting animal welfare and focus on the real victims here?

Who Knows, maybe Lana won’t be the only little girl getting a special gift this Christmas?
I hope so.. otherwise I’m going to have to find the Fairy Princess personally and REALLY beat some sense into her!

This time we used subtlety.
It was May’s idea and look where it got me?
NEXT time we go with MY plan!

“You’re good Swan Lake.. you’re good, but I’m still better..”
A little giggle bubbled up from my mouth and I smirked widely.

Luckily Lana’s asleep already so she didn’t hear me.
I’d hate to keep her up too long tonight, tomorrow’s Christmas after all!
..Candy and Lana Cane’s first Christmas..

wait.. Lana-Cane?..
HA! Isn’t that a medical power you mush on your butt when it’s itchy?!

I’m almost glad I got ‘Candy’ in all of this!
I’d rather have the fall back option of becoming a stripper over whatever kind of job you can get by being named after medicated butt-powder!

My slight snigger turned into a full on giggle fit that I struggled to contain as time went on.
In the end it was only a sleepy groan from Lana when I jiggled our connected hands too much which managed to calm me down.

With a happy little smirk on my face I settled in for the night.
Despite my new younger body my mind isn’t quite done ‘de-aging’ yet apparently.

I had the weirdest dream involving an older ‘me’ in a mini-dress dancing with that shy jock I saw watching the future ‘us’ in the University library?
“Took you long enough my little Christmas Present.”

“I had to take the long way around, what do you think of a May wedding?”
I rolled over slightly in my sleep and hugged a pillow to my chest while sighing with content.

Who knew Momma May would make such a cute guy?

End

*************************************
**Diary of Candy Cane – Age Five**
*************************************

This is a journal of events for my personal use only, revenge to be specific.
Anyone who has not only found its hiding place but also unlocked all three padlocks on it to get this far should stop now.. THAT MEANS YOU LANA!!

Now that that’s been covered I can move on.
I got this diary for Christmas and while I don’t particularly appreciate the pink color I need something private to keep my thoughts clear with.

Lana seems to have practically forgotten her past at this point.
I’m struggling to remember a few details but my nature may be sustaining my mind past its physical limitations a bit better at least.

Either way this is what happened today and why I felt the need to start using this stupid book to keep track of things a bit better.

******

It started at kindergarden.

We went out for play time.
I took a book with me which got a few weird looks as usual but people have learnt not to bother questioning me on it.
Lana has started hanging out with a few of the other girls in class and, while she’s managed to talk me into some silly games with them at times, I tend to leave her to her friends most of the time.

I’d only read a few pages before something odd drew me back out of the story.
A sense I’ve not felt in almost a year, a sense that I honestly thought I’d lost when I got this corporeal body flared to life with a vengeance.
In seconds I was on my feet and scanning around the playground with worry.

It didn’t take long for me to pick up where the feeling was coming from.
As I stared hard at the area around it the world started to shimmer and shift until the veil fell at last letting me see my prey.

I barely held back a gasp of surprise when the back of a woman with long blonde hair and a floaty white dress that looked far too much like she was trying hard to look like an ‘angel’ came into view.

With quick steps, careful to make sure no-one was paying too much attention to me as I went, I pulled up behind her and turned away to face back across the playground.

“What the hell are you doing here Snow White?”
There was a startled gasp from behind me.
A moment later a voice spoke but not the one I was expecting.

“You can see me?!”

Throwing caution to the wind I spun on a heel and stared up at the ‘angel’ in shock.
She’s not.. that’s not..

“What the hell are YOU doing here?!”
She.. He?.. flinched hard just from the tone of my voice.
“Yule, seriously what the hell?! Why are you doing the Fairy Princess’s job?.. did she talk you into this?!”

To be fair to him he actually looked quite good in her white dress.
His hair was no longer short nor brown but long and blonde like Snow White usually keeps hers.
He even had quite a nice figure going on and well done make-up to boot?

If he hadn’t been MY apprentice for nigh on six-hundred years I doubt I’d have been able to tell he wasn’t really female honestly.

“How can you see me? How do you know that name?”
His voice rose into a feminine squeak of fear by the time he’d finished.
I huffed to myself and glared at him lightly.

“It’s me dumbass, Christmas! Use you’re sight for once?! How many times do I have to tell you about that!”
He flinched harder this time and pulled away from me slightly in surprised awe.

“Boss?”

“In the.. flesh.. I guess?”
My dry chuckle at my own joke didn’t seem to help him at all.

“wow.. no wonder they demoted her..”
What was that? DEMOTED?!
“Last Christmas the office went into meltdown and all the higher ups were running around panicking because they couldn’t find you. Eventually they interviewed me about it all but I hadn’t seen you in weeks at the time so they quickly moved on and pulled in Giselle for questioning.”

Giselle... that feels familiar?..
AH! That’s Snow Whites real name!

“I don’t know what happened but by the time they got done she came out in tears and we had a full reshuffle scheduled for Boxing day. When all was said and done I ended up getting her job as the Goddess of Gender-Confusion and she was made the new Christmas?”

HA! Oh, the irony?!
At this point I don’t really hold a grudge for the way she did things considering what I’ve got out of it all but then I’m still a few years off from puberty so I’m sure I’ll start raging at her again eventually.

Surprisingly I can see Yule as making a pretty good ‘Fairy Princess’?
He.. she I guess?.. she’s always been soft hearted and far too gentle.
The very things that made her so terrible as my apprentice would be really useful when you’re dealing with people who are hurting and have been screwed over by life a bit too much, like most of those in the Tran’s community that I assume she’s been working with.

As much as I don’t want to give her any credit in the slightest, I can see Snow White being a pretty impressive Christmas or ‘Spirit of Humility’ as the official title goes?
While I did the job I never really enjoyed it in general, aside from any fun of my own I could make obviously.

It takes a certain type of person to work as the ‘bad guy’ and force people to confront their own mistakes day in day out without it getting to them.
If anyone is sociopathic enough to do well in that role it’s probably Snow White, if it’s not an animal then she really doesn’t seem to care in the slightest in my experience?

It’s all not exactly what we had planned when May and I came up with our little scam but maybe this is better if anything?

Originally the plan was for me to force Snow White to actually do her job and make her realise the suffering she was leaving people to go through at long last.
I figured she’d ‘punish’ me in some way, although turning me into a four year old caught me kind of flat footed to say the least.

I had my doubts whether our plan had actually worked or not from the smirk on her face when she dropped the whole ‘Swan Lake’ community show thing on us before she left but apparently I needn’t have worried.
After so many years of getting the short end of the funding and general respect stick I’d kind of forgotten that despite how it seemed my job WAS important and I had enough seniority that me just disappearing would set off alarm bells.

“She’s doing really well, a few problems where she’s gone too far and scared a CEO into a catatonic state but who hasn’t done that once in a while? She has a problem with playing ‘nice’ when the person she’s dealing with runs a company which abuses or treats animals poorly but that tends to just make her job easier by adding anger to the mix.”

I cocked an eyebrow at hi-her suspiciously.
She seems to know an awful lot about how Snow White’s getting on?

“How are you handling you’re new job? Looks like you’re enjoying the benefits package if nothing else?”
She looked at me in confusion for a moment until I moved my hands up subtly and mimed having a chest which a girl my age could only dream of having.
She blushed bright red in response which amused me to no end.

“It’s okay.. it’s nice to be helping people and some of the girls/guys I’ve met so far have been real nice in general which makes a change from all the assholes we used to deal with.”
She sighed and flipped her hair out of her face before continuing.
“The workload is CRAZY though. I’ve been working day and night since we started but I’ve barely made a dent, it looks like she hasn’t dealt with a human client since the early eighteen-hundreds?!”

Huh.. actually that sounds about right?..
That’s roughly when humans killed her ‘pet project’ the Dodo’s off and she suddenly got heavily into animal rights practically overnight..

“At least they have you on the job now? I’ll be honest Yule you sucked as a ‘Christmas’.. it feels like the Fairy Princess role suits you much better.”

Even I’m not sure if I intended that as a compliment or an insult but judging by the way her face lit up in an almost unreasonable amount of joy she took it to be a compliment if nothing else.
A moment later I was caught completely off guard when she swooped down and lifted me into an enthusiasticly tight hug.

“Put me down you simple minded pleb!”
She giggled and mussed my hair a little before letting me down at last.

“Love you too Boss.”
I couldn’t help but blush there.
Aside from Lana and our ‘mother’ not many people have ever said they love me, even jokingly, before..

“Yeah, well.. whatever..”
She giggled again, staring down at me with those worryingly happy eyes of hers.
“Why are you here anyway? I doubt you just dropped in for a visit considering you didn’t know I was here?”

Her smile didn’t dim at all.
If anything it got a bit brighter with pride as she turned and gestured over to a group of boys a few classes above us playing with a ball while obnoxiously taking up way more of the playground then they should be allowed to in my opinion.

“Really? Which one?”
She shot me an amused look and waved at three of the boys who were off to the side, obviously not enjoying how rough the others were playing but also not willing to stop ‘playing’ for fear of being mocked.

I didn’t recognise two of them but the last one on the right was definitely familiar.

“Lana’s going to be so disappointed, she’s got a major crush on one of them..”
Well.. no, actually she won’t remember in the slightest hopefully?

It’s kind of hard to tell really, it all depends on how much her change influenced her.
For all I know she could be immune to reality changes at this point like me or any other spirit.
Her changes WERE more drastic then most after all..

“I’m thinking of making the three of them related in some way, cousins maybe?”

What? Is she fishing for ideas from ME of all people?
I’m not an ‘ideas’ person!

“Sounds good.. looks like you’re handling things well enough. Don’t be a stranger huh?”
I stuck my hand out for a shake.
She ignored it and pulled me into another hug with a happy grin.

“You’re so sweet Boss! Of course I’ll drop in from time to time, I imagine you’re out of the loop a bit already and it’s only been a year so far?”
A fair point.
Probably true too.

I’d almost appreciate the offer if she didn’t use the word ‘sweet’ or hug me while giving it?

“Are you enjoying your new life at least?”
Huh?.. well.. I don’t know?.. maybe, just a little bit..
“Ah, say no more, in my new line of work you get good at reading ‘embarrassed to admit that you like something’ blushes pretty well.”

Wha?!-B..but I didn’t say anything?!!

“That blush is just adorable Boss. Give it a few years and the boys will be all over you.”
Like hell they will!
I’ll either shift them off to Lana or smack them a good one instead!

I’m a one-woman guy.. make that one-man woman?.. one boy-girl girl-boy?..
WHATEVER! I can wait until college for May to show her now handsome face again, so that’s that!

“I really should get back to work, you wouldn’t believe how many TG people are born every second. I can feel my book getting heavier as time goes on with new cases.”
She swooped down for one more hug that I reluctantly allowed before leaning back up with a grin.
“Don’t forget to get that ten quid you owe Barty sorted out soon too. He’s driving people crazy going on about it, you know what he’s like with the whole ‘greed’ thing.”

Oh yeah.. I do kind of owe him don’t I?
You’d think being reborn as a mortal would let me skip out for a while but apparently not when he’s involved.

“I’ll sort it eventually.. take care kid? The job really does suit you, you’re practically glowing from it if nothing else.”

A little giggle came from her mouth as she paced away from me slightly and off towards the ‘boy’s on the far side of the playground.
“Oh that’s not the Job?.. I’m pregnant! Giselle proposed and everything, it was very sweet of her even if she was female at the time.”

Right.. of course?..
Why didn’t I think of that..
It just makes so much sense that they wou- NO IT DOESN’T?!!

“What the hell?! How the fu-”

“CANDICE CANE! YOU WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE YOUNG LADY!”
Oh shit!

I spun around to find the world moving on as if nothing had happened again.
Apparently Yule has picked up a certain skill for bad timing in cancelling the ‘hiding’ effect from her girlfriend.. fiancée?.. fiancé?.. whatever!

“Sorry Mrs Benson!”
She didn’t particularly seem mollified by the apology but before she could say anything more a brown haired missile impacted with me sending us both to the floor.

“There you are Cand, come on Jenny’s brought her jump-rope with her and she won’t believe me that we can dance while jumping!”
I barely managed to send a pleading look over at Mrs Benson while Lana yanked me back to my feet and started pulling me off towards a huddle of girls near the back fence.

Any illusion that I may be saved was neatly removed by the smirk on the old teacher’s face as she watched us go.

******

So that’s that!
For future-me’s reference, remember that you owe Barty ten quid, the new Fairy Princess a smack around the head for intentionally bad timing and Mrs Benson some kind of situation where she gets paid back for letting Lana drag me off to play with the other girls again..

THERE!
See, this is a revenge journal.. not just a ‘Diary’ even if it IS pink!

This WAS kind of fun though?.. just a little bit?..

Maybe I should write in here more often?..
I’m sure someone will do something to deserve a revenge note with a full account of what happened soon, just so I don’t forget and either over-do or under-use my revenge chance when it comes around someday.

It’s NOT a Diary though!
Journal.. Revenge journal..
Yeah!

I should stop now, I think I hear Lana coming up th-

Really the End this time?

**********

Either way, Merry Christ-Hanukkah-Solstice-Yule-Kwanza-mas everybody!!
**********

Away we must go, to a hospital, you know?
Where a bitter young woman sits sulking alone.
She... She... Blast!

I never was good with rhymes, I really must apologise Dear Reader.

How the devil that mad ‘Doctor Seuss’ fellow kept it up for so long I have absolutely no idea!
Only a perfect mix of German precision and American craziness could be that confusing yet organised, I swear.

I am frightfully sorry Dear Reader but I really must desist with these awkward shenanigans.
That should teach me to try and do something different for once I’d say!
One must always work towards their strengths after all, what?

Let’s try this one again, shall we?

Hello Dear Reader!

It is I, your mysteriously appearing, snow-loving British narrator friend!
Back once again, as promised, at this most auspicious time of year.

While I’m sure it would be awfully fun for us to catch up after such an eventful year I must, as they say, get down to ‘brass tacks’ I’m afraid.
It would probably spoil the yule tide mood for me to explain that I get paid per tale told but-
Oh bother, I really am making a mess of it this year, aren’t I?

Nevermind, onward I say!

Once again I come baring stories to delight, warm even the coldest of hearts and infuse the soul as only a well-narrated Christmas tale can at this most delightful time of year.

This year I am feeling particularly generous, don’t you know?
Accordingly I offer not one, not two, but three tales of woe and hope from my great big book of leather bound Christmas treats to delight you all over the festive season!

Let me present to you:
‘The Christmas narrator fellow’s great Omnibus’ for December in the year of our Lord Two-thousand-and-Seventeen!

Without further ado, our first tale gets right to the heart of matters you could say, in more ways the one, and it is my pleasure to present to you "Sister of my heart"

...... .. .. .....

As you will have no doubt gathered from my initial attempt at beginning this tale.
The aforementioned ‘bitter’ young woman currently 'sulking' alone within a hospital bed of all things, despite her grand old age of Twenty-two (which I personally believe is far too old for such actions to be considered proper) is commonly known by the name 'Sally' to most people.

The name is short for ‘Salvesterin’ I’m afraid, Salvesterin Silvestri, a frightfully horrible name that’s almost as bad as ‘Napoleon’ in my humble opinion.
Parents can be so cruel in the pursuit of 'respecting family history', can't they?

Her family were originally Italian of course.
Dear Sally is actually from the Bronx herself, born in a broken down elevator on the fourth floor of her childhood apartment block home, but I digress...

In recent years she has embraced the gossip column mandated ‘true’ Italian-American lifestyle well. Still not enjoying her name, naturally, but also not letting her rather high-strung new city friends know of her formerly ‘low-born’ status either.

She’s gotten into a nasty habit of telling anyone that will listen that she was born in a small holiday resort just outside of Rome where her family were vacationing at the time, don’t you know?

A most amusing lie when you consider that she has in fact never travelled more than one state over from her current home, let alone seen the more austere sights of true culture in cities like Rome, London or Pari- Well, maybe not Paris actually?...

Frightful place, full of French people wouldn’t you believe!

Anyway, she has of course never actually owned a passport, let alone travelled so far across the globe before having even come into this world to start with.
Yet, despite that minor wrinkle in her life, she has managed to paste over it rather well with a mix of hard work and many, many little white lies to the contrary.

She’s put a lot of effort into the facade she puts up of being a well-bred ‘Lady’ to her friends usually... although in her current state the definite nasally 'twang' of her Latin-infused childhood accent is hard to mistake for anything else I assure you.

She is, of course, currently angry, as to be expected of a Bronx-native in general or so I’ve been told.
Quite rightly so I’d say too, the doctors have taken her secret stash of cigarettes away once more after all!

She believes that she has very little time left on this Earth and understandably wishes to enjoy the time she has to the fullest.
Her recently wealthy, high-flying family being far too busy on this winters eve to visit her after so long spent in this same cookie-cutter hospital room at all when there are many more interesting things to do and people to drink...

Oh! I do apologise, I meant that the other way around of course!
Sally has been here, within this once great medical institutions hallowed halls for what feels like an eternity.
Waiting on a transplant that she honestly does not expect will ever materialize to a point where even the infrequent and dwindling visits of her friends cannot perk her up anymore.

I’m sure a visit from her newly made ‘CEO’ Father, now social-climbing obsessed Mother or her many and varied big brothers would have helped in that regard.

Even her often passed-over cousins would be a blessing at this point, despite her family having generally ignored their existence in recent years due to the connection which may be drawn to their past lives of squalor, may have helped calm her nerves this night but unfortunately they are all too busy with prior engagements while also having no idea that she happens to be ill to start with sadly.

‘Making something of yourself’ and ‘dragging yourself up by your bootstraps’ (in a way that I’m sure a lesser narrator would love to wax lyrically about with zeal) can often have some unforeseen side-effects to those around you I’m afraid.

A problem which, in another world, Sally’s father would likely have come to understand rather well when his daughter’s body finally gave up on her due to complications on Christmas Eve itself.

The fact that he would only have found out a day or so later when called by a rather hassled hospital rep about funeral arrangements would have eaten away at the once proud man for years to come I’m sure... had it not been for some timely intervention at least.

If you were with me last year Dear Reader to witness Nappa’s special day, then I believe you may already know where I’m going with this of course, but the rules must be observed and so I will do my best to explain the situation as succinctly as possible for you just in case.

I believe the best way to put it would be something like ‘that is all about to change Dear Reader’.

I wouldn’t drag you along to view such an unfortunate situation without a reason at this magical time of year after all!
Let us listen in and find out more, shall we?

I believe this would be an appropriate time for us to roll our customary title card at long last as well so-

Sister of my heart

-Ah, that’s better!

As I was saying, let’s see what is to come of Sally on this bitterly cold New York Christmas evening at long last, shall we?

“Ms Silvestri, I’ve just gotten word that a donor has been found.”

“Really?!”

“Yes, an unfortunate young man has been brought in who’s a near perfect match for you. We’ve got to hurry and get you into prep for surgery right away but you should finally be off that Cardiopulmonary-bypass machine you’ve been complaining about so vigorously of late by this time tomorrow.”

“YES!”

Oh... I may have made yet another mistake Dear Reader?

I really do apologise, I’m not sure what’s wrong with me this year!
I seem to have brought us in a few hours of treacherously difficult surgery too soon for the story to be ‘ready’ for your enjoyment somehow, despite having just rolled out title cards and everything?

I really must apologise, these things are usually much more straightforward.

As you can probably guess by that short burst of conversation, the once brooding ‘Sally’ is now rather buoyant with joy at the prospect of living her life once more.

While I only touched on it earlier, you may still have inferred that Sally Silvestri was not a well woman at all up to this point.
Truly it was only her Fathers recently earned fortune which had kept her alive as long as it has, despite the man’s lack of effort in visiting his poor offspring in her time of need personally of course.

Leaving someone on a ‘Cardiopulmonary-bypass machine’ for an extended period of time is highly irregular, but as the old saying goes:
‘Bribe enough people and the world will start turning’... or something like that at least?

I’m sorry to inform you, Dear Reader, that poor Sally’s heart was shot...
Not literally of course!

That would be a whole other tale for a whole other time I assure you.
No, no, Sally’s heart is ‘shot’ in the colloquial use of the word, meaning that it no longer works in the slightest, you see?

She’s been stuck in a hospital for months now, kept alive by machines and constantly having her mood sour worse by the day with a heart transplant looked further from reality with each passing moment.

Truly the heart she is about to receive is something she will consider a ‘Christmas miracle’ or at the very least a dream come true, although maybe that’s only a matter of perspective considering the poor young man who died in order for her to get it.

That is actually the main focus of this story, believe it or not?

We’ve not even started the story properly at all yet despite my rambling on like this and we already have one Christmas miracle under our belts, how wonderful is that?
I will endeavour to keep the pace going in such a delightfully upbeat way Dear Reader, I pledge to you with utmost fervour!

Now let’s see here... I’ll just skip a few pages now.
Open-heart surgery really doesn’t make for a good Christmas tale when described in such graphic detail Dear Reader, take me at my word on that one.

Ah Ha!

I think I’ve found our original target starting point at long last.
Yes, this looks about right...

There’s only one way to see I guess?
Onwards!

We should dive right back in here I’d say, see how Sally is doing several hours later, minus one dead lump in her chest but plus one newly beating heart and accompanying scars to show for it!

Sally’s head rolled awkwardly against the pillows behind her as the anaesthetic slowly finished its hours-long process of wearing off completely at long last.

It took her a few minutes to fully realise what was going on and slowly her hand crept up disbelievingly to cup just underneath one rather sore feeling breast.

Despite the gauze covering over the stitches in her chest she could still feel them there and hesitated only a moment in disgust before pushing on to press her hand flat against her chest, feeling the reassuring beat of a real, working human heart within her petite cavity once more.

Pain began to register in her head, as did the dimly lit room, IV drip, beeping machinery and the still attached presence of her once hated Cardiopulmonary-bypass machine.

None of that mattered to her though as a small, delicate smile reached her lips and tears of joy started falling from her eyes in response to an upwelling of emotions that hit her full force in that very moment.

’She was going to live!’
After so much time focusing on her death, seemingly inevitable and inescapable.
’She was going to live!’

Nurses came in droves as her heart monitor picked up its pace slightly, which due to the nature of her recent surgery was a matter of interest for the staff of the ICU unit that night, but Sally didn’t care at all as they moved around her and talked incessantly.
All she could do was hold her hand flat to her chest and cry as the gentle thump continued on beneath her fingertips to-

Blast! I’ve just realised this isn’t the correct starting point for this story either?!
I’m so terribly sorry Dear Reader!

Something seems to be wrong with my book today, this is all frightfully embarrassing and wholly my fault but please, I beg just one more chance to get it right at last?

I shall not fail you again!

Now let’s see... no... no...
Let’s check a few more pages over and... no, too soon still...

Sally really does spend a horribly long time in the ICU ward I’m afraid, far longer than is strictly necessary most of the time due to a mix of her Fathers money making the Doctors cautious and the rather confusing results being received from her first run of biopsy tests.

The results are so out of the ordinary that one rather intrepid, not to mention emotionally stilted, Doctor took it upon himself to ‘investigate’ them further by tracing back the original heart donor in hopes of finding more information he could abuse to publish a paper on his findings and-

Ah Ha! ‘This time for sure!’ to paraphrase that oddly popular phrase I’ve seen dotted around over the last few days for some unfathomable (probably American) reason, at least.
I’m sure this is the right point this time; I just know it Dear Reader, how very exciting, what?

Tally Ho, Dear Reader!

Sally rolled over slightly in confusion as a gentle, almost hesitant knock came to her hospital room door.

It really had become ‘her’ hospital room at this point.
Considering the numerous creature comforts she’d ended up bribing her nurses into buying for her when her family were less than helpful in supplying them by way of not actually coming to visit yet, despite the traumatic surgery she’d just been through.

Her parents are currently holidaying in the sun at a retreat if Sally’s social media account is to be believed.
Her Brothers, on the other hand, all contended that they are far too busy to ‘baby’ her in the same way her parents would growing up, an unfortunate stigma she has had to live with for a while now due to her being both the youngest child and the only girl in the family growing up, sadly.

Slowly the door eased open and a woman poked her head inside nervously.
As she took in the empty room around them she seemed to calm somewhat before turning curious eyes onto Sally’s supine form at last.

“I hope I’ve got the right room, I walked in on some poor man having a sponge bath a minute ago, and it was terribly embarrassing for all involved I must say...”
Sally found herself taking an instant liking to the woman as the self-deprecating smile on her face, tinged only slightly by a mischievous glint and something else she couldn’t identify, warmed her in ways the awkward niceties of her nurses hadn’t managed in months.
“Are you Sal... Salve-”

Before the woman could make an even worse mess of her already difficult and awkward name Sally waved a hand up in protest while offering the poor woman an inviting smile.

“Just call me Sally, everyone else does...”
The unspoken but still felt ‘did’ that she corrected herself with mentally as her mind stepped back over to her missing friends and family who obviously didn’t care enough to even bother visiting her these days, once again hurting more then she’d like to admit, even to herself.

As if the correction had actually left Sally’s lips, the older woman at the doorway’s face softened in understanding and with only a brief pause to straighten herself out she stepped into the room properly, letting the door shut behind her as she paced towards Sally’s bed with only mild caution present in her walk.

A long neglected visitors chair was deftly pulled into use and the strange new woman settled herself down with rather impressive grace to offer Sally a slightly strained smile from her new position.

An awkward silence began to form between them both as they took each other in as a whole.
Sally’s eyes scanning the woman up and down from her neat but conservatively styled hair to her black dress which looked plain by Sally’s usual standards yet seemed to suit the woman to some degree in her honest, if not very well informed, opinion.

The woman in turn watched Sally, although her eyes seemed to drift quite often downwards slightly towards the lying woman’s breasts with a hint of longing on her tired face.

“So... Hi? How can I help you today?”
Sarcasm had always been a weapon of choice for Sally when she felt uncomfortable, a sad side-effect of growing up in an apartment dominated by her seemingly ever-present army of brothers most likely.

The new woman seemed to start suddenly in surprise, as if being shaken from her thoughts by Sally’s words, probably because that is exactly what happened if we’re being entirely truthful on the matter.

“I’m terribly sorry Dear, what must you think of me? Barging in like this without a word so suddenly...”
Yet again Sally found herself smiling at the woman’s worried tone of voice, edged by a rather pleasant if slightly muted ‘British’ accent (polite enough to rival my own of course) which had obviously had more than a few years to be tempered by living in the Colonies to her measure.
“I’m Miranda Crawford, the Doctors contacted me a few days ago and I just had to come to see you.”

Sally paused in confusion to watch as the woman, Miranda apparently, seemed to gather herself together for speech once more.

“I wanted to come... after I heard, I... um...”
She shifted awkwardly in her seat once more before finally meeting Sally’s eyes with a mix of emotions obvious across her face.
“They probably didn’t tell you of course but my... child... died recently, I was out of the country at the time and when I finally got back they’d already followed through with her wishes as an organ donor so...”

Sally froze in worry as the woman’s presence finally made sense.
Her hand unconsciously came up to cup at her chest once more, feeling out that reassuring beat as she found herself doing quite regularly these days, this time while staring back at the woman in surprise.

“I know my visiting like this is probably against some kind of rules or such but I just had to come and... well, the Doctor who phoned me got a detail wrong which I felt I simply must come and explain properly to you in person...”
Miranda hesitated once more before diving in with a rushed burst of words that she’d obviously been holding onto for a long time in her own mind.
“I just wanted to reassure you that the heart they gave you wasn’t from some young man at all but a girl instead, my daughter, and that she would be truly happy that you received it because... because...”

Miranda trailed off as her eyes drifted down to stare intensely at her nervously knotted fingers instead of continuing on.
For her part, Sally stared at her bowed head in wide-eyed surprise.

While the Doctors had said something about the donor for her heart being a man, she hadn’t really given it much thought at the time, being far too overjoyed at the prospect of living to care about such a seemingly minor detail... one which apparently had a greater meaning and weight to her donor’s Mother for some potentially obvious reason.

Slowly her head cocked to the side questioningly and after licking her dry lips slightly Sally eventually spoke up, breaking the awkward pause in the conversation for the sake of her own curiosity more than anything at this point.

“What was her name?”

The woman’s head snapped up to stare at Sally in surprise which quickly bled into a wide smile of pride making Sally briefly reconsider her own, well-intentioned, choice of a conversation starter.

“Her name was Abby, Abigail Jean Crawford. She was such a beautiful girl, you remind me of her a little in your eyes and-”

Just like that they were off Dear Reader!

Sally settled herself back against her pillows and watched as years of obvious pride came pouring out of the still grieving mother before her.

The full story did eventually come out, the mix-up by the hospital being understandable to a degree when Miranda finally admitted almost casually that her beautiful daughter ‘Abby’ had once been her baby boy ‘Angus’.

Sally couldn’t help cringing sympathetically at the name which ‘Abby’ once had to bear, but if anything that only seemed to amuse Miranda as she went off on yet more tales of Abby’s youth and the problems that terribly chosen name had caused them all.

Sally heard about the tear-filled night when Miranda’s son came to her and finally confessed ‘his’ true feelings about ‘himself’.

She did her best to offer a shoulder to cry on or a gentle hug as Miranda told her everything she could think of from Abby’s favourite color to the first crush she ever admitted to having.

Once the flood started there really did seem to be no way for Miranda to stop its continuous flow.
Even I, in my capacity as a professional narrator, am left in awe of how much she told Sally about her heart-donor in the few short hours they had together.

Eventually, the stories of Abby’s life petered off as emotions took their place and Sally, against her better judgement, allowed Miranda to place her own hand upon her chest to feel the still-beating heart inside.

“She would have been so happy to know she helped you dear... My Abby always did have a big heart, I’m surprised they could even fit it into that chest of yours.”
Despite the still pained undertone behind the joke they both found themselves laughing lightly over it anyway.

“I’m very thankful for her gift, and that you came here to tell me so much about her as well Miranda.”
There wasn’t a word of a lie in those simple and ironically ‘heartfelt’ words from Sally’s usually bitter lips.

While even a few hours before she had honestly not even thought about ‘who’ her mystery donor was, now her sacrifice had taken on a whole new meaning for the usually repressed young woman.

She felt growing affection for Miranda in turn as well, as they both bonded over old tales of a poor confused young girl who grew into a self-assured, if still clumsy and a little quiet, young woman... struck down far before her time was due...

“She really would have liked you Sally, you’re such a nice girl.”

-And they say that Sally's heart grew three sizes that day.
With the older women's ear tucked to her still-beating chest so warmly...

Not literally grew, mind you, Dear Reader?
That would be most unfortunate after all!

Why, a human heart grown to that size would be simply monstrous!
Blood would be forced out as such high pressure that... Ah, but I digress...

Oh dear, I believe my little aside has ruined the moment somewhat yet again, hasn’t it?

Maybe we should leave the pair of them to their rather awkward first meeting and check back in on them in a few pages time, for the sake of brevity, of course?

Let's see now...
Ah! This looks like a good point to pick up from.

I do apologise, that interruption was most unprofessional of me I must say.
This really hasn’t been my day today sadly.

“I brought you some new books to read and some apples.”
A little smile played across Sally’s lips as the unmistakable voice of Miranda greeted her, her eye shut in feigned sleep to avoid having to converse with the nurses who would be in soon with her breakfast.
“Oh honestly, you’re just as bad as Abby was. You’re not fooling anyone into thinking you’re asleep at the moment dear and if it didn’t work on me back when she wanted a day off school then it’s not going to work on me now in a hospital of all places!”

Sally’s eyes snapped open to stare almost lovingly up into an equally care-filled face of Miranda as she came further into the room as usual, snagging up her now customary chair as she went.

Neither of them had really known what to do with themselves when visiting time finished on the first day they met, but even Sally could admit to herself that she felt just a tiny thrill of joy in her new heart when Miranda turned up the next day, minutes after visiting hours began once more.

Over the last few weeks she’d learned even more about the wonderful woman beside her and the pair had truly bonded in a way which both would only hesitate to call a ‘mother/daughter-like’ way for the sake of each other’s feelings and a still raw respect for Abby’s passing.

Miranda found in Sally something to keep herself going at last.
Having lost her husband a few years ago, then finding out that she had also lost her daughter had almost broken the proud, yet gentle woman.

At first, it was only her drive to correct the hospital’s mistake which kept her moving with determination but Sally, despite the airs she liked to think she could put up, was so painfully vulnerable in so many ways that were obvious to Miranda’s experienced eye.

Just as her own heart had gone out to her once ‘son’ on the day ‘he’ finally confessed to her about ‘his’ feelings, so did it go out to Sally as she slowly came to realise that the poor girl was so dreadfully alone despite all the talk she gave of her large family and successful parents.

Sally on the other hand found herself almost unconsciously drawing nearer to Miranda with every visit they shared.
The woman listened to her, she gave her attention in a way her own mother never had and more than that they understood each other, or seemed to at least, from Sally’s perspective.

At first it had been a little awkward, knowing the woman was only really there chasing the ghost of her child within Sally’s own heartbeat, but time tends to have a habit of changing such things quite often.

With each passing day that went by Sally found herself growing closer and closer to Miranda, sharing stories and facts about her own life which she wouldn’t have dreamed of sharing in any other situation to anyone.

Her confession that her first crush and resulting kiss was with a girl, one of a rather large contingent of Latina girls that her mother had always told Sally to avoid at all cost when they lived in their old apartment building, surprised Miranda but the reaction was brief and quickly replaced by warm acceptance which Sally had only dreamed of someday feeling in the real world.

At this point in their oddly comfortable relationship the pair were about as close as it’s possible to be, given the timeframe involved.

Plans were already being made for them to meet up regularly when Sally was finally let out of her now annoyingly claustrophobic feeling hospital room and even wilder plans being thrown about of her joining Miranda on her next trip ‘home’ to Britain for a well-deserved holiday, just the two of them.

Miranda had even not-so-subtly hinted that there were more than a few beautiful women who might be interested in such a pretty American appearing on their shores if she did visit, much to Sally’s initial embarrassment but growing amusement and joy at being finally accepted for who she had not wanted to admit to being for so painfully long.

From that point on, every morning when they woke up, one inside her hospital bed and the other in her much more comfortable Queen-sized bed at ‘home’, they both found themselves thinking the same three words for completely different reasons.

‘Thank you Abby’
Sally’s hand drifted up to rest against her own beating chest once more as she watched the sun rise from her window.

Her heart once again filled with joy at the previously forgone days ahead of her and the potential fun to come as Miranda’s next visit brought the same zest for life she’d managed to instil into every facet of Sally’s renewed spirit lately, in a way Sally had truly never thought possible at all until now.

‘Thank you Abby’
A watery smile came to Miranda’s lips as it so often did in these silent moments she had alone.

Her sadness was tempered though by the thoughts of a once lonely young woman who would be waiting for her in a few short hours, and the still-beating heart in her chest which held such a symbolic meaning to her mind.

That heart saved Sally’s life, it had brought them both together against all odds and give Miranda’s life purpose when she had nothing left to live for, to her mind at least.

She tried to restrain her thoughts within reality and see the world for what it is but some small part of her couldn’t help but think that the heart beating away in that sweet young woman’s chest really was a gift from Abby to the girl, almost as much as it was a parting gift to her as well.

Abby had always been a girl at heart, and now that heart resides in a truly female body, as it always should have from the very start.

Miranda knew that Abby would have been happy for that fact.
She also knew that Abby would be proud of the woman she’d helped save through her own untimely departure.

Miranda was not, by nature, a religious woman but she couldn’t help but let her heart guide her just this once.

Abby was gone... but she left behind a way for her poor old Mum to keep going and helped a girl so very-much like her in personality, if not looks, to have a fresh start in life.
That was truly a miracle and a gift from the heavens if ever there was one, in Miranda’s eyes.

“Thank you Abby”

The End

 
Excuse me a moment Dear Reader, I think I have something in my eye... j-just...

Okay, that’s better, now where were we?
One story down Dear Reader!

Did you enjoy it?
As is customary I must, of course, offer you an epilogue of sorts before we move on which I will do with great enjoyment I assure you!

Sally went on to marry a rather nice young nurse with dusky skin and the huskiest of voices which Miranda took great joy in teasing the pair over its obviously come hither ‘bedroom-esk’ quality for many years on after their nuptials.

Sally’s relationship with her parents, old friends and family, never did recover when she finally got back out into the big wide world.
It didn’t bother her though.

Her Father still showed he ‘cared’ by sending her a rather large monthly income to enjoy and her Mother seemed to be relishing her new life of rubbing shoulders with the well-to-do of society as far as she could tell from her social media account at least, but neither mattered much to Sally when she finally came to peace with herself and them as a whole.

She had a new family now, new friends, a wife... and a new Mother.

She still lay awake some mornings, cuddled up to the blissful curves of her wife and smiling up at the ceiling while mouthing those same words as always.
The words she would always remember and give whenever a prayer seemed relevant or expected of her.

‘Thank you Abby’

Miranda, or to use her latest title ‘Grandma Mira’ earned by way of Sally’s adopted son only a few years ago, could not express how happy and fulfilling her life had become in recent times.

She got to give away a daughter at a wedding where everyone from the bride to the ‘groomsmen’, consisting of several highly amused woman and wore beautiful gowns in a white and black motif.

She got to hold a small child in her arms while hearing him excitedly call her ‘Grandma’ and explain all the things he’d done that day in pre-school.

She even got the news only yesterday that ‘her girls’ latest round of IVF treatment had been successful at long last.

Sally would be playing the waddling role of ‘Mother’ this time, and thanks to a revolutionary new treatment to turn female bone marrow into a useful replacement to the ‘male side’ of the pregnancy equation, Miranda couldn’t be happier to know that she’d have another Grandchild coming to spoil someday soon.

Names were already being floated around naturally.
Even Miranda, with all her years of ‘getting used to it’, found herself crying when Sally suggested naming her first daughter after her ‘Aunty Abby’... and laughing a few moments later when she added that if it was a boy the currently dubbed ‘Peanut’ could be named ‘Angus’ instead.

Their family was unusual-
Sally was now the hidden black-sheep of her politically and financially powerful family.

Miranda had sold up her old house in England after years of clinging onto it for the memories it offered that she never really thought she’d be able to get past.

Also there was a rather awkward conversation sitting on the horizon about why a certain expectant son would not be ‘growing curves’ as one girl in school had rather nastily assured him would happen after finding out that he had two Mothers.
-but they were happy... and it was all thanks to Abby...

The actual End!

Ahh, can’t beat a good ending really, can you Dear Reader?

Now, as promised, we will go onwards to our next story of the year an-

 
What do you mean we’re out of time?

I don’t care if the recording studio’s been booked for a Mariachi band at Six!
This is important and... No... Yes, well kind of, I...
 

Oh, Fine!
I’m so terribly sorry Dear Reader but I shall simply have to leave you at just this one tale for the year.

I may have gotten distracted on my way in this morning-
It was snowing, don’t you know?
-and that lead me to being rather late in getting us started.

Then there was that whole mess with us struggling to find the right starting point as well, so...

Well, I’d better end now before they bash the door in!
Even I’m not stupid enough to try and get in the way of a Mariachi band determined to play music at Christmas time of all things... a Mariachi band, honestly!

As always, I’ve enjoyed our little journey through the tides of the season Dear Reader, mess and all.

Next year I’ll be sure to book extra time AND set my alarm clock to make sure we can do a proper ‘Omnibus’ of Christmas tales at long last!

For now though, it is a fond goodbye from me and our cast.
From safe Sally and happy Miranda, from unnamed Spouses and little Peanuts in belly-houses-

Huh, what do you know, that rhymed?
Maybe that Doctor Seuss fellow’s ‘rhyming’ thing isn’t so hard after all, what?

Oh sorry, I really am so horribly distracted today, aren’t I?!
Thank you for being here with me for our tale this year Dear Reader, despite my less than stellar performance.

A narrator who is heard, especially at Christmas time, feels so much warm joy from it that not even the rather insistent calls of a frustrated Mariachi band can take it away from them in the weeks to come, I promise you!

For now Dear Reader,
I’ll see you next year, when the snow falls delightfully and it’s time for good cheer.

Oh bother... I seem to be stuck rhyming poorly at the end of my sentences now, don’t I?
I do apologise, I’ll work on it by next time I swear!

Thank you Dear Reader for your efforts, your attention and your precious time at this most wondrous season of the year.

May snow fall distractingly for you, as it has for me on these bright winter days.
Have a Merry Christmas and a simply wonderful New Year!

Thank you again and goodnight.

This year, for sure!

Last year I chickened out and wore a suit.
A woman’s tailored suit, borrowed from one of the girls, but a suit none-the-less and naturally he didn’t notice in the slightest despite the light makeup I even let them put on me as well.

Tom, my relationship with Tom is... complicated?...

On one hand he’s my best friend.
We’ve known each other for years, both playing on the same team back in high school and then both getting into the same university on separate scholarships, him through sports while I had to fall back on my Drama and overall grades for kind of obvious reasons in the end.

By our final year in high school I was honestly in no position to be competing with other guys in full contact games anymore, hormones can kind of ruin that option unsurprisingly.

On the other, much more frustrating hand, Tom is... I love Tom...

Practically since the day we met really, I’ve loved him in secret.
He’s nice, a real down-home farm boy at heart and a complete sweetheart to match.
His looks and naturally evocative muscles help obviously but pretty much from the first time he smiled at me to this very moment now, looks stopped coming into things because he... he’s Tom?...

We know each other better than we know ourselves.
With just a glance we can have whole conversations and it’s just normal to us these days.

He’s everything I could ever want in a guy, much better then I honestly think I deserve sometimes.

Gender isn’t even an issue here.
While I’ve not exactly come out and told him that I’m... well, that I’m transgendered.
That I’m transitioning ‘under the radar’, as much as possible, and have been for a pretty long time now.

Tom’s had boyfriends, girlfriends and even one girl a few years ago I particularly disliked for obvious reasons who was somewhere ‘in-between’ despite how much better looking than me she was at the time!

I’ve tried dropping hints, I’ve tried dressing about as androgynously as I can bring myself to do where people can see me at the moment, I’ve even tried flirting with him as well.

Any normal guy would have hopefully gotten the hint when his roommate sits down with him to watch a movie wearing one of his far-too-big football shirts as a nightdress over a pair of shorts that are only just shy of being called rather scandalous panties, by the fact that they were made of slightly thicker than usual black cotton, and cuddles up to him while we watch scary movies on TV.

He’s just a bit oblivious really... sweet and almost innocent despite his many conquests over the years to an aggravating degree while apparently so stuck on the idea of me being his best friend that he can’t see the huge neon sign for the trees around it!

It’s one of those other things that just make him all the more attractive for me sadly.
No matter how good he is at everything, no matter how kind and gentle he is or well-liked by everyone, he still just acts like that slightly shy farm boy I used to tease every time he missed a long pass because some cheerleader waved at him.

THAT! That’s going to change tonight though!
I’ve got a plan.

I’ve HAD it with waiting, the long game hasn’t worked in all the years I’ve tried it and if I don’t do something soon then someone else will finally snap him up right before my eyes.

Tonight is the ‘Winter fling’.
The last big party of the season before we all go home for the holidays on Saturday, sponsored by the local frats and sororities but open even to us non-indoctrinated plebs all the same.

It’s... I’m terrified honestly, but this is my last chance and I’ve GOT to go all out on it.
If he doesn’t notice me after this then he’s obviously doing it on purpose, not saying anything to spare my feelings, like the kind-hearted idiot he can be sometimes or something equally romantic.

Tonight I’m going to show him the real me at last and see what happens, for good or bad, just to end this horrible torment of not knowing at long last.

Its Five-thirty AM, I barely got any sleep all night but I’m pretty sure fear induced adrenaline will keep me going today if nothing else.

I’ve not got a chance of doing this alone.
I wouldn’t even know where to start... but luckily I have the girls to fall back on, and even more luckily I happen to know that at least four of them are already awake by now because they go for runs before starting their overly complicated prep-work for a ‘normal’ day usually.

My fingers twitched slightly, hovering over the simple but damning message that I typed almost half an hour ago but haven’t been able to send into our group chat yet because of the overwhelming fear of what might happen, what might change, when I do send it.

A final glance down our connected hallway to Tom’s still shut bedroom door helped me settled my nerves somewhat and before I could come back to my senses I hit send then practically threw my phone back onto the table moments later as if burned by its very existence.

'Going to the party tonight, going full girl, need help! SOS!'

“This is going to be so much fun!”

Despite Brit’s rather enthusiastic words all I could offer her was a slightly ill-looking smile in return.
The others weren’t exactly much better, Maggie seems to be building up steam a little now that we’ve stopped for coffee at least but most of the others are all more focused on the plastic mugs filled with the dark elixir of life in their hands at the moment instead.

I can’t really blame them.
It took almost twenty minutes for us all just to reach a point where we were on the same page.

I really doubt all of them being fully awake would have even helped with that one because apparently I wasn’t being as obvious around them as I’d thought and a few of the girls had literally no idea that I was transitioning past ‘We kinda thought you were a bit gay?’ somehow.

As it is there was a minor discussion about my facial structure, I have nice cheekbones apparently, before the back of Steph’s mini-van kind of descended into chaos when Kris jokingly tried to grope me for being ‘just one of the girls’ and actually got a handful of not-exactly-big-but-still-there-and-totally-all-me boob for her trouble!

Things kind of got even worse when, on closer inspection, Kim realised that I actually had a bigger bust then she does which she found both highly unfair and laughably weird given the context as we all kind of descended into a giggly mess of girls out for an early morning shopping trip.

Now we’re here my hearts hammering a little despite Steph assuring me that there’s only like, four non-staff cars parked up so far and that our first stop will be to get me kitted out with an outfit which will leave no-one in question about my gender in the slightest.

The big sliding door of the van opened and we all poured out of it in a big tangle of limbs, me mostly being dragged along rather than stepping forward of my own free will.

“My sister’s working today, don’t worry she’s cool, and even better she can hook me up with a family discount rate!”

Everyone shot Brit a slightly worried look.
Mostly because she’s practically bouncing on her toes and they’re all still watching her over the rims of their coffee cups but also just because she’s being her usual perky-self which can get kind of dangerous if we don’t keep an eye on her flailing arms and bombastic energy in general.

“My Mum’s working the counter at Macy’s too, I’m sure we can get some trial makeovers out of her if we ask nicely.”
Maggie’s coffee really has kicked in at last too now.

They’re my friends and I love them, but getting those two on any kind of rush is really a bad idea.
Maybe I should have avoided the whole ‘SOS’ part of my message considering the effect it’s had on them both at this point.

Oh well, too late to put the egg back in the shell now I guess!

“My cousin’s temping at the hairdressers over by the bookstore too an-”

“If that’s a boy, then I’m Dwight D. Eisenhower...”

Everyone cracked up laughing as Brit’s sister, Beth apparently, stared at me intensely with an worryingly critical eye before taking one step closer and reaching out to run her hands down my waist.

My kinda baggy shirt pulled taut, showing off my usually kind of hidden and definitely unsupported curves in all their glory for a brief moment or two.
I could feel my blush ratchet up through the roof as a slight smirk came to her lips before she let go and turned to face the others imperiously.

“This isn’t even going to be a challenge, I have a harder time finding things to fit the bubblehead then I will this one. When you said you were bringing a boy over I thought it would at least be interesting if nothing else!”

Before anyone could react Brit interrupted with a slightly delayed ‘HEY!’ of protest which set us all off giggling again because it just went to show exactly who Beth had meant... as if we really needed to guess, considering the fact that we HAVE met said ‘bubblehead’ before after all and she’s not exactly shy about letting her natural personality shine most of the time.

“So... you’re going shopping for a dress later, so you can go to some big fresher’s party and seduce the man of your dreams, all in one big sappy Christmas miracle style go then?”
Her head tilted slightly and one of her eyes focused on me just enough to hint that it was me she was actually speaking to, not the others.

While some of the girls tried to protest that she made it all sound a lot more silly or weird then it really was, all I could do was let off a tiny little nod and blush under her curious gaze.
She nodded back almost instantly and plastered a big grin on her face a moment or two later as she turned back to face the others properly again.

“I’ll help, but I want in on this, Pictures! I want to see the end product in all her glory, or else...”
She didn’t even need to state the non-existent ‘or else’ scenario in the end.

Although one or two of the girls protested slightly Kim seemed to find her whole attitude amusing and didn’t even hesitate to pull her phone out.
Within seconds there was a tangled stream of notification sounds from all around us as several phones all went off at once, indicating that another person had been added to our long-standing ‘group’ chat for better or worse.

Beth glanced down at her own phone with a smirk before spinning around, grabbing me by my shoulders and practically tossing me into a nearby dressing room with orders to strip as she turned her attention to the rest of the ‘troops’, barking out orders for clothes she wanted on pain of undisclosed consequences if we failed her in the slightest.

Even hidden behind the curtain of the changing room I could practically hear the humor in her voice almost as easily as I could hear Kim’s barely suppressed giggles as Beth told a protesting ‘bubblehead’ to go fetch me a pretty hairband or three because she’d obviously mess up anything more complicated than that.

With a single tense sigh I plopped myself down on the little bench seat of the changing room and started pulling my sneakers off.
This is all getting a bit out of hand but I really need to focus on the end goal here.

Imagine the look on Tom’s face when he sees me waltz in looking like a prom-queen.
Imagine the smile on his face when he realises who I am.
Imagine the mumbled words he lets off before pulling me close and kissing my-

“Enough daydreaming Cinderella, we’ve got work to do!”
GAH!

“This is so unfair...”

I turned slightly to fix Brit with a teasing smirk, the tiniest of wobbles present but not obvious to anyone aside from me as I tried to relearn my hard-won skills in stilt-like shoe walking on the fly while we move from one store to the next.

“It took me YEARS to learn how to walk in three inch heels! I only gave you those ankle-breaking four inchers as a joke but you’ve taken to them like a... a...”

“...Bubblehead to water?”

She turned her slightly annoyed gaze away from my feet at last to offer Kim a glare of her own which really didn’t seem to help much because Kim’s apparently in one of ‘those’ moods again where she’ll take any chance to tease Brit with joy obviously radiating out of her at every turn.

I did kind of feel sorry for Brit at least.
Kim can be like a dog with a bone when she finds something funny, a real female dog with a bone, if you catch my meaning.

“If it’s any consolation I’ve probably had more practice in heels then you have Brit. My sister used to let me play in hers growing up, I might not have a lot of recent practice but it’s like falling-off-a-bike really, you never forget how once you’ve got it sorted.”

The others giggled around us and even Brit seemed to calm down at my words, much to Kim’s frustration, as we walked on and I kicked one heeled foot out slightly further than usual to send my almost floaty-light ankle length peasant skirt flying forward delightfully.

Beth really came through for me in the end.

While I’ll make no mention of the six other bags worth of clothing she somehow managed to convince us to buy at the same time, only two of which being for me luckily, the loose pleats of this peasant skirt in all its red patterned glory feel so nice and free while also being perfect for a long day of outfit-trying ahead of us all.

The tops just as good too, in my opinion.
I didn’t even know they DID baby-doll tops with built in ‘booster’ bras!

Even from my admittedly awkward viewing angle my little ‘girls’ look AMAZING.
The whole outfit feels so nice, airy and feminine while showing anyone who cares to look that I am indeed of the female persuasion, without being too ‘in your face’ or obviously slutty about it all at the same time.

I’m glad my initial protests were shouted down at this point.
To be fair they all did kinda have a point that, yes it may BE winter right now, but we’re also in a nice heated mall and I can always change into something warmer before we step outside in the slightest considering our plans for the day and all.

“Where to next?”

Macy’s or the salon I hope.
I really don’t like the devious little looks Steph keeps shooting towards the tattoo and piercing parlour upstairs at this point!

“What do you girls think?”

There wasn’t really any need for me to look in the mirror at this point considering the awed and amazed look plastered on everyone’s faces but I did anyway for my own curiosity if nothing else.

The moment my eyes met the mirror-me’s own eyeshadow covered ones I was left frozen in surprise, my mouth drooped open in shock which the mirror-me with her puffy ‘just kiss me’ looking lips managed to make look somehow cute despite how stupid I’m sure it SHOULD have looked in general!

“Who’s next?... Now I have all of your attention, maybe you’ll actually listen as I explain how you can all replicate this again yourselves later on, hmm?”
My eyes couldn’t move fast enough when locking onto Maggie’s Mum which was obviously her intention judging by the wide smile that bloomed on her face as we all moved in to get a better spot for the demonstration to come.
“I’m so glad you’re doing this dear, not just for you, but you came out so well that even Margret is paying attention for once...”

We all giggled along with her smile as expected and Maggie chipped in an offended ‘Mum!’ for the sake of it, probably because she hates her full name, although possibly because she kind of has a point too.

For someone who’s Mum is THIS talented with makeup Maggie is barely passable even by my inexperienced standards most of the time.

There have been days when I’ve been going for more of a ‘boy’ look, to avoid any unwanted attention or trouble, and even I’VE had on more makeup then she does despite literally having the lightest of touches just to stop myself looking pale or too obviously different!

“Now I’ll start with Kristine here, she’s about the same shade of skin-tone and hair color as... what do you call yourself now by the way dear?...”

Everyone seemed to freeze at once and swing their eyes around to me as if only just realising that the topic of my ‘name’ hadn’t really come up at all despite everything we’ve been doing so far.

With a heavy blush on my cheeks I twisted my foot into the floor a little and glanced away from everyone before coughing nervously into my hand and staring hard at a rack of shampoo in the middle distance.

“I... Its, uh, Emma... my name... I mean, my sister kinda... yeah...”

After a rather frightening moment’s pause there was a squeal of joy matched by several more and I found myself being dog-piled into a giant giggly hug which really wasn’t hard for me to join in with properly pretty quickly considering the circumstances.

One more step forward, that wasn’t so difficult after all... I guess?

“Bye Mrs Maggie’s-Mom!”

We all giggled as Brit rather enthusiastically waved back at the older woman who had, possibly unsurprisingly at this point, asked for and gotten an invite to join the ‘group chat’ at some point along our almost hour-long lesson in the fine art of makeup application.

Even Maggie seems really pleased with the results of our hard work now.
Her Mum seemed happy with the extra bag or two of products we bought along the way of course but even more so she seemed really proud that not only the girls had ‘stuck by me’ so much through this big reveal, or that I felt safe enough to ‘come out’ to them all when I needed to, but also that Maggie has finally taken an interest her mother’s borderline obsessive ‘hobby’ turned job.

She even managed to get a promise out of her to seriously consider some more lessons in the future as we went on, a feat that I’m pretty sure only happened because we were all so enthusiastic about the idea that Maggie couldn’t really say no, even if she wanted to.

“Hair next! My cousin’s SO good with hair I promise and they’re always looking for people to try styles on in there at a discount.”

Well, when Kim’s THAT enthusiastic about something it’s kind of hard to argue really?
My hair’s down past my shoulders already and looks about as not-obviously-but-hopefully-still-kinda-obviously ‘girly’ as I could afford to let it be until now so at least they’ll have something to work with if nothing else.

“I’m thinking you’ll look good with an ‘Updo’ Emz.”
I turned my head to smile warmly at Brit as she stared at my forehead thoughtfully.

I can’t even remember who started shortening my already short ‘chosen’ name but... I really like it.

“Don’t forget to add me! The other girls too, we’re rooting for you Emma!”
Everyone was giggling and despite the furious blush on my face leading across my now exposed neck, I was too honestly.

Kim’s cousin, and by extension every woman in the salon when we got there apparently, couldn’t get ENOUGH of me and my ‘story’ after a rather worryingly over-dramatic re-enactment of how much I’ve ‘pined’ after ‘this cute farm-boy best-friend of mine’ for ‘like, forever!’ thanks to Brits rather overpoweringly fast mouth and enthusiastic hand-puppetry.

It feels really weird to not have any hair on my neck now.
It’s pretty much all still there, I don’t have split ends at all somehow which seemed to frustrate a few of the girls who get them semi-regularly, it’s just all tucked up on top of my head in what I’d normally consider a really fancy ‘bun’ but is actually a ‘Hepburn inspired Updo’, or so I’ve been semi-reliably informed between people complimenting the look in general.

As we moved away from the salon I couldn’t resist reaching down into my newly acquired purse to pull out my poor old phone who’s been demoted to not only ‘silent mode’ but also lost a quarter of its battery life due to near constant messages coming in from our ‘group chat’ as several different interested parties who have recently joined it have begun to connect over their shared interests.

That shared interest initially being mostly centered around ‘me’ at first of course, until they really started talking, at which point our usually kinda busy but still slightly organised group chat devolved into a chaotic mix of at least six distinct conversations all going on at once with people jumping between them somehow so much that it honestly makes my head hurt a little.

About the time when Brit’s sister Beth offered to help some of the older women at the salon and Maggie’s Mum pick out some really nice outfits fit for a ‘refined woman’ to survive these ‘bitter winter days’, I really did stop trying to keep up with things.

Especially because that was when my own group of actual friends decided that I wasn’t paying them enough attention and practically stole my phone from me, only giving it back under threat of horrible ‘ugly bridesmaids’ dress torture to come if I didn’t keep it tucked away for now, despite the fact that some of them still had their phones out semi-regularly to laugh over the weirdness that our chat group has descended into.

“Do you think her tits are big enough to wear something off-the-shoulder?”
My head snapped up to glare at Kris and she offered me a smirk in response before eyeing my phone again in obvious disapproval which I accepted grumpily, sliding it back into my bag moments later in favor of distracting everyone away from the now voiced question of my bust-size!

“Well... what do you think?”
My eyes should have scanned in the mirror, jumping from one face to another in hope of seeing their honest opinions of the dress as a whole, but I really couldn’t bring myself to look away from it sadly.

Kris was kind of insistent about the whole ‘off-the-shoulder’ thing at first, but even she can’t deny that I look GOOD in this dress instead.

Not too fancy, nothing floor-length or too ‘stuck up’ looking, but a nice flowing burgundy tea-length dress accented with a full set of white leather accessories from my slim new belt, three-inch heels and handy little clutch purse on a golden chain.

When I first started putting this outfit together a few minutes ago I’d honestly worried it would be too ‘Christmas-y’ and even got myself ready to laugh the idea off if it received a bad reaction from the others but a simple glance in the changing rooms floor-length mirror was enough for me to know that this would be the ‘one’.

If I could have a ‘dream dress’ for the dance then this one would be it

The skirt ending just below my knees, billowing out prettily around me with only the slightest of rustles when I turn too quickly in it feels divine.
Looking at myself in the mirror, makeup, updo and all, I honestly feel far more ‘girl’ then I ever have before in my life... far more ‘me’ as well come to that...

“Tom’s going to die when he sees you...”
The moment of silence broke and we all started laughing which was kind of a relief for me because I don’t think I could have taken staring at myself much longer otherwise at this point.

“The dance is in less than an hour, we’ve all got our stuff back in the van, you pay for this Emz and we’ll show you how the pros do this whole ‘getting ready’ thing on fast-forward, huh?”

Another smile bloomed on my face and I nodded to Steph happily before picking up the hem of my skirts slightly so I could offer her a rather silly looking ‘curtsy’ which I only had the barest idea of how to do in the first place, although that didn’t really matter in the end when the results were the same and we all ended up laughing yet again as the girls broke away to go get their stuff leaving me and Brit behind in their wake.

The store owner was a little mystified by me paying for the dress while still wearing it but his clerk and her friends, the newest additions to our group chat, reassured him that they’d explain later with more than a few giggles and knowing looks among them.

With nothing else to do until the others turn up again and me stuck in a rather eye-catching dress at that, Brit led me off to a little-used bench in a nearby corridor between two stores so we could sit down and avoid the still surprisingly light crowd of shoppers nearby in the process.

We sat in companionable silence for almost a full minute.
Brit fiddling nervously with her fingers and me kicking my legs a little, just to enjoy the gentle ‘swish’ it elicited in response from my new dress.

Suddenly without any sort of warning Brit practically shot to her feet and turned, grasping my chin in a surprisingly soft grip before planting her lips to mine in a kiss that made my eyes widen in shock for the few short seconds that it lasted.

She practically shot away from me the moment we broke contact looking both scared, frustrated and also kind of upset at the same time which she managed to clear from her face for the most part with a bit of effort leaving us to stare at each other in surprised, awkward, silence as she tried to gather herself back together again afterwards.

“...Really nothing, huh?... Sorry, I just had to know and you’re so... just...”
She trailed off and her fingers unconsciously tangled themselves together again as her head shot both ways down the hallway we were sitting in nervously to make sure the coast was still clear or something.
“Just don’t tell the others, Emz... please?”

My mind was kind of stalled trying to process that she had, in fact, just kissed me.

“I’m really sorry, I know I shouldn’t have done that but it was hard enough avoiding it when you were a boy and now you’re so... so...”
Her hands came up to her face quickly as if to hide behind them and my brain finally kicked back into gear, protective instincts kicking in almost instantly at the sight of my friend in such obvious fear and pain.

In seconds I had her in a tight, reassuring hug and she rested her chin on my rather well-displayed chest as the tears slid down her cheeks a moment later.

I just held her for a while and rocked us slightly as she tried to get herself back together again.
I’m not sure how long the cuddle lasted but it was hopefully long enough judging by the way Brit slowly brought her head up again to offer me a watery but thankful smile eventually.

“I’m really sorry Emz. You’ve confused the hell out of me for a long time now, being a boy but one that I actually fancied, it wasn’t until today that I realised why... still friends?”
The fear of rejection and obvious hope in her voice was almost heart-breaking for the few seconds she let it show before hiding it away again behind a slightly tainted version of her usual bubbly smile.

“You’re a... a lesbian then?”

She gasped and threw a finger up to my lips making ‘Shhhh!’ noises while glaring around us once more but it was pretty hard to avoid the still frightened shudder that I could feel in her hands as she did it all.

My brain finally worked through everything that had just happened properly at last and I reached out to give her one more reassuring squeeze which seemed to help more than anything I could have done at that moment otherwise honestly.

“Apology accepted Brit; your secret’s safe with me I promise...”
I could practically see the effect my words had on her as she slumped visibly against me in relief.

Slowly I managed to maneuver her back over to the bench and we both landed back on it in a rustle of skirts in my case and a little ‘thump’ in hers.
An awkward silence stretched out between us for a few more seconds but I couldn’t just leave it like that and in the end I spewed out the first words that came to mind.

“I always thought you and Kim had some ‘thing’ going on, she either fancies you or she’s got some serious issues when it comes to ‘bubbleheads’ apparently...”

It started as a snort of laughter but it couldn’t stay at just that and pretty quickly be both broke down into relieved laughter, leaning into each other as we let the tension leave us entirely.

“Oh God, I needed that!”

We shared a smile and Brit leaned over to give me another one-armed hug that was purely on a friend... possibly closer to a ‘sisterly’ level at this point?... which was more than enough for me to relax just that little bit more.
Don’t get me wrong Brit’s a pretty girl, if you’re into that sort of thing... I’m just kinda... not?

“After all this effort, Tom better realise what a good thing he’s got going with you or so help me I’ll-”
I never got to find out what she’d do because the others chose that moment to noisily make their appearance at the end of the hallway in a rustling mass of heavy looking dresses and accompanying bags.

Brit self-consciously pulled herself away from me and wiped her eyes a little as if it would help fix her makeup somehow but I’m pretty sure the others weren’t fooled in the slightest.

Ironically Kim was the only one to shoot me a suspicious look over it all, the others just shrugging it all off as Brit-being-Brit... she kind of has a reputation for going a bit far with pretty much every emotion she displays, not just enthusiasm despite that normally being her ‘default’ one in general.

“This way, girls, I know a short-cut to one of the employee changing rooms and no-one is likely to notice us using it at this time of day.”

We collectively nodded acceptance at that, the others falling into step behind Steph as usual while me and Brit got up to follow them, moving as fast as we could to catch up.
It wasn’t until we were pretty close that I noticed what seemed so off with them all a moment ago.

“Is it snowing outside?”

A few half-hearted grunts of frustration and an eye-roll from Steph was the only answer I got due to them all struggling to carry all their collective outfit bags behind our fearless leaders rather punishing pace but it was enough to answer my question at least.

An early snow, just in time for the Winter fling, as if things couldn’t get any more idyllic.
I got lost slightly in my now revised fantasies of kissing a certain someone under the mistletoe, now with snow falling around us like some big movie set-piece before he reached down to my waist an-

“Keep up Emz!”
GAH! Every time I get to the good bit!

“Pass those bobby pins over Emz.”

I barely had to look as I grabbed the little tin up, this being the fourth time I’ve had someone ask for them as the girls all reached pretty much the same stages in their own preparations at nearly the same time.

I’d almost put up a bit of a fight when Steph steered us towards the ‘Ladies’ dressing room at first.
It was only when Kris, oh so subtly, tapped out a drum beat on my partly exposed and boosted breasts like a pair of bongo’s while stating that ‘We’re more likely to have people question why someone brought their little brother along considering Kim is with us’ that I finally gave in, much to said small-chested-but-still-vicious-at-times Kim’s annoyance, naturally.

“We all almost ready?”
A general ascent seemed to please Steph who glanced down at the delicate little watch on her wrist with a relieved sigh.
“If we hurry we should JUST make it, only ten minutes fashionably late.”

That one got a round of giggles from us all as I hopped off the sink-space I’d taken up to keep out of the way as the others changed and we all lined up for inspection.

The inspection barely lasted a few seconds before devolving into a kind of manic ‘selfie’ session that included more than a few group photos and even more of them that got shared in our chat group, much to the pleasure of our baying audience of unseen watchers from around the mall in general.

“Come on then, we’ve got a party to conquer while Emz goes fishing for wild Tom-boys!”

Almost the second the words left her lips Brit blushed brightly and put her hand to her mouth in surprise as she realised what that could have sounded like otherwise.
I seemed to be the only one who noticed the movement luckily and she relaxed a few seconds later with a slightly forced giggle while everyone else brushed it away in amusement as just more of ‘Brit-being-Brit’, although I think I heard a slight grumble from Kim that sounded suspiciously like ‘Bubbleheads’ as we got ready to move out at last if nothing else.

“Is your van supposed to make this much noise, Steph?”

Steph didn’t even glance away from the partly snow-covered windshield in front of her as we slowly drove on, the van shaking and juddering a fair few times in the tense silence that followed.

“It’s just cold Kris that’s all... sorry, there’s ice on the road along with the snow and I’m kind of struggling here...”
We all nodded in understanding while trying to think of ways to help our poor driver for the night in her quest to not get us all killed due to the worryingly heavy snow-storm outside that seems to be getting worse by the minute.
“...we’re almost there, I can’t promise this bucket of bolts is getting us home tonight but it will get us to the dance at least and that’s the important part!”

THAT comment got a cheer out of us all in response which I think was its intended purpose judging by the slight smile on Steph’s otherwise tense lips as she adjusted her hands on the wheel and shifted forward a little in her seat.

Slowly we practically rolled our way into the car park outside the community hall that the frat’s hired to host the Winter fling this year and it was pretty obvious to all of us that something had gone horribly wrong, mostly because the car park was deserted and there were no lights on in the community hall at all either!

Steph kept us rolling and swore to herself slightly as everyone else dived into their bags for their phones practically as one unit.

Even I joined in, finding a pretty horrifying number of missed messages from the group chat along with one other one that made my cheeks flare in embarrassment almost automatically just on general principle.
With a twitch and flick of my thumb the message opened up and I felt my happy little bubble from possibly the most fun day I’ve ever had in my life ‘pop’ rather anti-climactically.

'Where are you? Not seen you all day and the snows getting bad, Greg just called, they’re cancelling the fling and rescheduling it for when we all get back after New Year. Call me. Tom'

“Well... Bee-Gee H. Criminy!”

While I’m pretty sure I would have picked much worse words then that rather stupid sounding mix of weird ‘swear-replacements’ from Maggie, that still sums up the situation rather well at this point honestly.

I took in a breath to calm myself down but it was useless and before I even knew what was happening the tears were falling.

The moment the first almost silent ‘sob’ left my lips, as my now utterly ruined ‘perfect’ last chance at finally showing myself off to the world and Tom as a whole’ fell down around my ears, I found myself being surrounded by the others who all seemed to almost automatically know what was wrong despite my having not said a word in the slightest.

It’s stupid but... but I’d set tonight up so HIGH in my mind to be perfect as today went on?
With every step we made, the clothes, the makeup, the hair, the dress... every step made it all feel so much more REAL at last!

Without even realising it, I’d put my heart into tonight working and in hindsight I’m really not sure what I would have even done if I’d walked into that hall to find that Tom had ignored me again?

It just didn’t seem like a possibility at the time.
He’d see me, he’d SEE me, and then we’d have our happy ever after, and jus... just...

“It’s okay Em-honey, let it out, we’re here with you.”
The almost whispered words from Brit at my side made me cry all the more for some reason.

As if to punctuate just how bad everything really has fallen to pieces at this point, Steph’s mini-van chose that exact moment to give up the ghost with a loud wheezing ‘Cur-thunk!’ that made even me jump in surprise.

In front of us Steph sunk her head down on the steering wheel and let off a little scream of frustration before snapping herself back upright to a glare out at the still-falling snow in front of us instead.

“F-F-F-FUDGE NUGGETS!”
The real rage she had hidden behind those seemingly childish words said it all as well really.

Despite everything, despite just how badly everything we’d planned and worked so hard for all being wasted thanks to the weather of all things, we couldn’t help but laugh a little at Steph’s improvised replacement for the word she really wanted to say, probably for Maggie’s sake more than anything else.

The laughter didn’t last long but it was enough to pull us all out of our funk slightly at least.

While I didn’t want to do much more then stay in my nice new cuddle-puddle of warmth feeling sorry for myself, Steph snagged her phone up and dialled someone while one of the girls near the back shuffled around until they found some blankets Steph always keeps for emergencies, that we could all bundle up in now that the heating’s died along with the rest of the van.

“Hi... yeah, I know it’s snowing?... no, we’re not blocking traffic?... what do you mean you-”
Steph suddenly jerked her head back and stared at her phone in shocked amazement.

“He hung up on me?”

“Well... Chrimbly-biscuits!”
The now unofficially ‘official’ joke of the hour helped once more as Kris chipped in her attempt at making a nonsense swear-replacement of her own, letting us hold back the growing urge to panic or at least start yelling in frustration at how unfair this all is if nothing else.

“I’ll send a message to the group chat, see if they know anyone else who can help.”

“I’ll call my brother, he’s always near a computer so he can search for a nearby recovery place.”

“I’ll... I’ll call my folks to make sure there’s not someone in the hall waiting for people who actually make it or something stupid like that?”

No-one asked what I would be doing but it didn’t matter anyway, apparently I’m not moving judging by the knowing look Kim and Brit just shared before shifting a little and wedging themselves either side of me to better pull me into a joint cuddle on either side.

“...I should really call Tom...”

A few heads perked up a little from their little blanket bundles around me but no-one outright told me not to so at least I've got that going for me.
With a little bit of shifting around, having to slide over slightly to get my arms free from the surprisingly tight grip Kim and Brit now have on each other’s hands to sandwich me between them, I finally got my phone up and stared at its dark screen for a second or two in awe before letting it drop uselessly back into my bag with a grunt.

“Don’t suppose anyone has Tom’s number, do they?”
These days I barely even remember my own number let alone someone else’s.
The only reason I even know MY number is that people ask for it so regularly.

“I think I’ve got him on my messenger app, don’t worry Emz, I’ll tell him your alive but cold... really cold...”

Big fancy dresses are NOT made with warmth in mind apparently.
We’re all kind of suffering at the moment even with the blankets and sharing body-heat at the same time.

If it didn’t involve getting even more naked before solving anything I’d almost be tempted to climb into the back seats and change into one of the outfits I bought earlier instead.
Even if I could face leaving my nice warm bundle at this point though, it would probably be useless anyway considering the back seat is currently occupied by an apparently sleeping Kris and Maggie pile instead...

“Wake up, the tow truck is here.”
I don’t really remember when I fell asleep but luckily Steph never did apparently judging by the fact that she’s the only one not currently stretching or yawning.

Her phone rang as I was staring at her sleepily and she answered it before cutting her eyes over to the rear lights ahead of us as a conversation started up with someone that I’d assume to be the tow truck driver.

After a minute or so of talking that I couldn’t really catch most of but involved her giving him a list of addresses at some point she hung up and stared out the window as a large shape moved from the front of the truck, coming around to briefly block out the tail-lights ahead of us as they reached down to hook us up.

Within a few minutes we were more awake and watching on as the mini-van tilted up slightly at the front before locking in place as the driver started moving at long last.
A little cheer of relief rose up from us all but it was half-hearted at best honestly.

“He’s going to drop you all off as best he can on the way then sort me out... sorry about tonight girls...”
This time it was my turn to do the whole ‘automatic cuddle’ thing as we all surged forward to reach awkwardly across the front seats to hug Steph and assure her it wasn’t her fault at all.

A few grumbles about ‘evil weather’ and one rather unnecessary but emphatically spoken ‘Jim-fudge-inary right!’ from Brit finally got a weak smile out of her obviously tired face and we all broke into giggles at our own stupidity feeling a lot better now that we are actually moving.

Our numbers dwindled, Maggie’s house being closest, followed by Kim and Brit who apparently live near each other.

It may have just been my imagination but I’m pretty sure that as they disappeared into the worryingly thick snow outside they were holding hands for some reason which made some sappy-romantic part of me feel warm and happy even if it was all in my head at the end of the day.

Finally it was my turn, my and Tom’s place being on the opposite side of campus to the others in general.

I got a hug from Kris and an awkward squeeze from Steph around her chair before scooping up my worryingly large collection of bags and staggering out of the mini-van into a full blown snowstorm.
My skirts went flying and I barely managed a step before quickly staggering back into the van long enough to swap out my heels for my once abandoned but luckily not lost sneakers instead, for a second attempt.

With one more round of hugs I took a deep breath and made a break for it, shooting out of the van doors like a cork from a bottle and moving as best I could across the grass next to the now frozen path leading to our building until I reached the first set of doors and thankfully managed to shut them tight behind me.

The moment I was safely into the warm I pulled my phone out and plugged it into the charger someone left in the wall socket near the front door years ago.
It’s useful so we’ve never bothered to remove it.

The minute my phone powered back on it went crazy with message notifications and I just about managed to send a simple ‘I made it home’ message on the group chat, just like the others did when they got in, before putting my phone down for a second to get myself straightened out a bit better.

It’s really weird to have so many people involve in our once private little conversations now but kind of reassuring too.

I’m pretty sure the tow truck guy we found was given to us from someone in the chat as well so it’s literally life-saving at this point in my opinion, I can’t really begrudge them all for joining in the first place with that in mind.

My ‘call home’ message sent and my dress now kind of a ‘more tidy’ mess, not to mention cold from the snow that hit it so suddenly, I took a few steps down the hallway towards our apartment before freezing in place as I realised what was about to happen.

After almost thirty seconds of indecision I turned around and plonked myself down, skirts and all, onto the entranceway bench to consider my options as a whole.

Today was amazing, the girls were amazing and everything was just so... perfect.
Tonight has been a nightmare but it’s still not over yet.

What if I go up there, walk in and Tom takes one look at me before kicking me out on my ass in the cold?
What if I go up and he thinks I’m ugly?
What if I go up there and he... he...

This needs more thought before I do anything.
I’m... I’m honestly pretty scared now that it’s finally ‘crunch time’ and all...

I only realised what time it was when, with a jolt, I noticed that my phone had finally stopped vibrating despite the near constant stream of messages it’s been getting as far as I can remember since I plugged it back in.

I lifted my chin off my hands and then my elbows off my skirt-covered knees so I could reach out and snag it up again.

While the multitude of messages from the ‘group’ were expected at this point, the progressively more worried ones from Tom made my stomach roll guiltily.
Slowly I typed out a message to him before heaving one deep breath and quickly hitting send before I could lose my nerve again.

'I’m downstairs, coming up now, sorry I’m late.'

The message sent I stood up with renewed purpose.
No point hiding from this anymore, I’ve pulled the trigger now and all that’s left to do is see if the bullets going to hit me or not I guess.

That bravado lasted long enough for me to grab my bags and phone while covering the first flight of stairs up to our apartment but not much further beyond that sadly.

It was a slightly shivering, wide-eyed and fearful version of me in a rather pretty dress sporting a slightly sleep-ruined hairstyle and equally ruined makeup that greeted Tom when he made his way downstairs to meet me.

I apparently took too long gathering myself back together again and he decided to come down to find me instead.

My breath froze in my lungs as he looked me over with an obviously relieved smile on his face that didn’t falter in the slightest as he took all of... me... in for the first time, in all my spoilt glory.
He took the last few steps down to my level calmly and bent down to pick up my bags for me before turning slightly and nodding his head upstairs without another word.

Feeling like a naughty child caught in the act I followed behind him meekly, my thumb running up and down the edge of my phone nervously as the steps went by without another word from him despite the way I’m dressed.

Why’s he not shouting?
Why’s he not asking questions?
Why’s he... why is he so calm?!

We got through our main door and Tom moved over to drop off my new bags in my room, ducking out a moment or so later to offer me a warm smile that both helped calm me down and made me extremely nervous at the same time.

“I’m glad your home, I was going to come get you but Kim said you had a tow truck coming and told me to put something warm on for you instead.”
His piece said, message delivered and understood, he pushed himself off the wall a little as if he was just going to walk away to go get some food or something from the kitchen.

That’s it?

“That’s it?!”
The moment the words left my lips I regretted them and my hand came up to delicately cup over my mouth as if I could somehow pull them back in if I held on long enough.

He turned back around slightly and offered me a bemused look before smiling warmly again.
As he turned to keep going back towards the kitchen he finally spoke up once more, much to my initial frustration.

“I’ve got dinner in the oven for you... you look very pretty by the way, the look suits you...”
This time he really did keep going until he disappeared out of sight again.

Slowly a flustered, angry blush crept up my cheeks but it was quickly beaten out by a much more powerful blush of embarrassment instead as his words finally sunk in.
In a flurry of skirts I practically flew into my room, slamming the door shut behind me before leaning against it with a hopefully silent little scream of joy as I danced on the spot at him finally having noticed me.

My hands shook a little as I snagged up my phone in a two-handed grip and typed out my last message of the night before I go have a shower to warm up, probably changing into one of my new outfits afterwards to see what kind of reaction THAT gets too.

'He called me Pretty!'

Maybe tonight wasn’t such a disaster after all?
To the sound of my phone going suddenly crazy along with a near constant ‘ding’ sound outside that I think might actually be coming from Tom’s phone for some reason I let myself dance one more step or two before spinning around to face the mirror on my wall with a happy grin.

I look like a mess, I look like a complete and utter mess... but a girly mess?... a ‘pretty’ mess if Tom’s to be believed.

He called me pretty!

“Just you wait Tom! I’m going home Saturday and enlisting my sister to help me over the holidays, by the time we all get back from New Year I’ll be so good looking you’ll have to call me ‘Beautiful’... or ‘my girlfriend’ for short I suppose...”

A wry little smirk crossed my lips as my determination from this morning came back in full force at long last.

It wasn’t perfect.
It wasn’t an unending cry of his love for me.
It wasn’t even something as simple as a kiss... but I got Tom to notice me!

He. Noticed. Me!

It’s only a first step, but it’s a hell of a lot further progress then I’ve managed to make in the last five years otherwise so being myself at long last is obviously the key here!

“Emma, you want me to serve your dinner up now or are you having a shower first?”
He called my name!

“I’ll have a shower first, thanks Tom, give me twenty minutes or so.”
You can join me in the shower if you want and we can- NO! Too fast, baby steps!

This is the best Christmas ever!

He noticed me!
He called me by my name!
He cooked me dinner!

Well, that bits actually pretty normal for us, but he did it and he noticed me so it counts!

“I wonder what he’ll think if I come out wearing that new nighty Kim made me get?”
Only one way to find out!

The End - Sort of...

...The next morning...

“-then we settled on the sofa and cuddled until... wait a minute, how the hell did he know to call me Emma?”
Everyone froze.

While all the girls looked suddenly guilty and were suspiciously not drinking their coffees despite only a few minutes ago saying that they needed them for survival purposes thanks to Steph calling us together like this on a snow day of all things, Kim looked the most guilty.
She also looked the most amused and proud of herself at the same time somehow.

“Oh... you didn’t...”

My hands flew into action and in seconds I had our group chat up, my finger scrolling through the worryingly large list of people who are now part of it all until they stopped on one name, seemingly added in the mess of people who joined during our salon visit yesterday.
A single tap later and it filtered down to just messages from that one embarrassingly recognisable name.

'She looks so cute like that.'

'Of course I will, how can I not?'

All that and more, all from Tom.
All from yesterday.
All spaced out, mixed in with everyone else’s mass of unreadable messages.

He knew all along.
He knew what I was trying to do, but he still pretended to only JUST about notice me after all the effort and mess I had to overcome to get through to him at last, an... and...

“I’m gonna kill him... slowly...”

“Now Emz, calm down, we figured if he’d already seen you then it would take some of the tension out of things for you an-”

“We? We who? This is all on you Kimmie-bear!”

“What?! It was your idea an- ah, fudge-nuggets...”

“Run Kim, run!”

...The end - For reals this time, promise!

Happy Christ-Hanukkah-Solstice-Yule-Kwanza-mas everybody!!

Something funny’s going on with the soap?
I swear there is?!
I can’t quite see if it’s..

The two bars of soap on the counter are singing to each other in Latin as usual.
The people around them are arguing vaguely about something that sounds to me like a deep debate on whether a ‘fjord’ is automatically crossable if you drive through it in a ‘Ford’.

I flipped a piece of candy corn lazily into the air and snagged it with my mouth before it could hit the sofa cushions.
Squinting isn’t helping much, my eyesight’s terrible for that sort of thing..

The A on the side of the posh soap wiggled slightly?!
My interest perked I stared at the little detail intensely to see if it was just my imagination again or not.

No, there it goes again!
It's definitely wiggling somehow?

To my surprise it tore itself from the soap label and bounces out of view without anyone seeming to notice.
Kind of random and strange to be honest..

..I guess that's one way to kill off ‘A’ character?..
It took me a moment to process the idea before I started sniggering to myself.
Swedish people are weird..

"What on earth are you watching?"
As I leaned back to stare at my somewhat confused sister I couldn't help but smirk slightly.

"Zanes house of the insane?.. it's pretty good, like someone took a Salvador Dali painting then animating each prop with its own backstory and motivation.”

“..you watch the weirdest stuff sometimes..”

“Hey! It’s been the number one most popular show in the Netherlands since the 1960s.. I think?.. ANYWAY, a whole country can't be wrong!”
She sighed loudly, her bag slipping off her shoulder as she plopped herself down on the sofa next to me.

“Okay, I’ll bite, what’s the deal with the singing soap?”
I couldn’t help sniggering again.
It still amuses me to this day.

“It’s a long running joke, they’re having a go at the world record for the longest lasting ‘soap opera’ by having them quietly sing in the background of every scene on every episode.”
Just the look on her face set me off laughing properly again.
She sighed heavily and almost seemed tempted to hit me for the bad puns involved.

“Could you BE any more of a dork?”

“Well yeah, but that cost’s extra.. duh..”
She sighed again and pushed herself off the sofa while I dissolved into another quick laughing fit.

“Tiff’s coming over later to get ready for the party, can you just.. not be YOU for a little while?”

Charming!
Love you too sis!

With a grumble that didn’t really answer her question I turned back to my show instead of looking at her.. sisters can be mean sometimes..

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

“-believe you sewed a training bra into his costume and he didn’t NOTICE?! You’re so EVIL!”
I had to bite back an angry growl when I heard Tiffany giggling her head off from my sister’s room as I walked past her slightly open bedroom door.

“I’ve got MAD tailoring skills and he’s so oblivious I couldn’t resist.”
I’m not THAT bad.. am I?..
“That’s not even the best one I’ve done, one time I got him t-”

“SHUT UP!”

“Get OUT of my ROOM DWEEB!!”

“Stop telling Tiffany about stuff and I will!”
My eyes shifted to Tiffany despite myself.. she’s really pretty today..
She smiled at me brightly and I shrunk in on myself a little bit with a bright blush on my face.
..REALLY pretty..

“You know..I bet, with the right makeup and outfit, he could totally look really pretty?..”
Oh god, NO! Not that, anything but that!

“Yeah, well.. we’re twins. I guess he’d have to get some of my amazing good looks in the deal at some point..”

Apparently my sister doesn’t appreciate her friends sudden interest in my possible ‘pretty-ness’ anymore then I do?
At last we both agree on something for once!

Tiffany glanced between the two of us thoughtfully and a wicked grin split her lovely lips.

“We should bring him to the party!”
That idea received about as good of an initial reception as you would expect from BOTH of us.
“No, no, hear me out! You were saying you didn’t want to wear your costume because it’s too boring and he’s totally got to have something lying around so you two could swap costumes, I bet no-one would notice in the slightest and it will be hilarious, best trick we could pull on them all!”

“I dunno Tiff, that sounds kinda..”
Sister dearest shot an awkward look in my direction.
I think she’s realised the kind of trouble her previous conversation may have caused me at this point.
I know she didn’t mean it but now I’m stuck with the consequences of her big mouth as always..

“Oh go on! It’ll be fun. I’ll take him over to my place to get changed and we can meet you at the party. You can SO pull it off, what’s the point of being twin’s if you don’t enjoy it sometimes?!”
Oh she has NO idea how many times we’ve ‘enjoyed’ being twins in the past.. whether I wanted to or not..

“There’s no way you’re getting me in her stupid costume!”

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

“Hold still I can’t get your socks right.”

My cheeks are never going to go back to normal after this are they?
As if it wasn’t bad enough that Tiffany, the girl I sorta.. kinda.. maybe have a crush on, dragged me back to her house and made me put on my sisters stupid ‘witch’ costume over my weak protests.
She’s now spent FAR too long fiddling with these stupid long stripy socks as well!

I swear she just looked up my skirt?!
God help me if she works out that I’ve got panties on under there!
I’ll be a bloody laughing stock..

“There, all straight, let me just fix your lippy and we’ll leave.”

Fix my ‘lippy’?
What’s wrong with it?.. she spent like, twenty minute on the damn makeup earl-

I was caught completely off guard when she stood up and pulled my head down slightly to give me a kiss.

“You are just GORGEOUS, better than your sister easily.”
I didn’t manage to do much more then flap my mouth uncertainly before she grinned at me and snatched another kiss, this one with tongue which ended with a delighted giggle from her.
“Now hold still, I need to fix your lippy unless you want to go to the party rocking that ‘just kissed’ look, you naughty girl!”

I’m pretty sure if I blushed any more I’d be glowing at this point.

Why did she kiss me?..
Not that I’m complaining or anything but.. but she’s never shown an interest in me before?!
Trust me, I’ve been hoping for her to show interested in me for ages but I didn’t think it would ever actually HAPPEN!

“You are just so beautiful, the boy’s will be all over you tonight.You remember that I called first dibs though.”
The grin on her face made me shudder slightly in excitement.
“You’re my date tonight, so no running off with someone else before I can have my fun with you right?”

I didn’t really know what to say or do honestly.
I’ve never had someone be so upfront and controlling with me before, especially someone as pretty as Tiffany..

“Come on then sexy, let’s go knock them dead!”
She managed to drag me out of her room before I’d quite realised what was happening.

We can’t seriously do this can we?!
Someone’s going to notice!!

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

“Ah, there she is!”
Tiffany broke into a sprint, her fairy wings flapping behind her as she ran and her little green ‘Tinkerbell’ skirt flapping about in a way that left me staring as I trailed behind her.

It took far too long for me to realised they’d both stopped talking and were watching me as I watched Tiffany’s legs in a bit of a daze.
She smirked a little and with a giggle she flicked the back of her skirt up just enough to flash something green and lacy at me from underneath the short material.

“You’re getting too into this..”
My eye’s turned to my sister at last and I had to bite back a gasp.
What the hell happened to ‘going as each other’?!

“Oh please Elvira, its Halloween lighten up, he doesn’t mind do you cutie?”
I couldn’t do much more then blush and sink my head away from my sister’s inquisitive look.
“What are you supposed to be anyway? The ‘mistress of the dark’ look is SO retro.”

“I’m a vampire.”

My teeth grit down in annoyance.
I can see quite plainly that she’s a vampire from her cape, pale makeup and fake teeth.
Even the weird little eye mask thing kind of goes with the look.

What I want to know is why she’s wearing a long black dress along with it?!

She’s supposed to be ME!
Despite what it looks like currently I’m not a girl!

“Oh don’t give me that look. I went along with your silly idea. He gets to be me tonight dressed as a witch so I get to be him tonight dressed as a vampire. It’s not my fault my dweeb-y brother decided to come as a female vampire tonight, is it?”
She struck a pose and sent me a knowing look.

I glared back at her before folding my arms and huffing in frustration.

So THAT’S how she wants to play it huh?
Two can play that game sister dearest!

I caught both of them off guard by grabbing Tiffany’s face and planting a big kiss on her cheek.
I was going to kiss her on the lips but I chickened out at the last second, still the big red kiss mark on her face should be enough to cause some talking, especially seeing as ‘my sister’ is the only one wearing this particular shade of red lippy tonight.

Without a backwards glance at the pair of them I stalked off to the entrance hall.
She wants to turn up here in a dress claiming to be ME does she?
Well someone’s about to gain a reputation for being a flaming lesbian!

See how SHE likes it for once!

“Sally, wow you look amazing, is that real silk? let me feel!”
Sally squealed in surprise when my somewhat cold hands landed on her waist to rub the side of her dress.
She squealed again when I went to air kiss her cheek and ‘accidentally’ planted a big red smacker on her cheek instead.

As I wandered off to find my next victim with the somewhat frantic sounds of Tiffany and my sister following close behind me, I couldn’t help but smirk from the conversation’s springing up in my wake.

“Is she drunk or something? I’ve never seen her get all hands-y like that with anyone before, you don’t suppose she’s.. you know?..”

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

“Some people might find your costume offensive, cultural appropriation and all that..”

Oh no!
Not him!
Quick, what would she do in this situation?!

I spun on the spot and scanned him up and down like he was something nasty I’d just scraped off my boot.
He didn’t particularly seem to notice despite how much effort I was putting into the look.

“Buzz off Joe, go find my dorky brother or something so you can re-join your own species, your cramping my style.”

Sorry mate.. can’t chance you getting too close and noticing I’m not really her!
At least he should be used to it by now, if anything I’m being a bit nicer to him then she normally would be..

“Ohh, kitty’s got claws. No need to get snippy, just figured I’d come over and see if the rumor’s are true..”
I glared at him but he didn’t seem to notice yet again.
TAKE THE BLOODY HINT!!
“Frankie and Jess are telling anyone who’ll listen that you’re drunk and they caught you snogging Paula in the hall a while ago, are you going to break my heart and tell me you’re a lesbian now?”

Oh.. yeah..
Well they may kind of.. be speaking truth on that one actually?..

Who knew Paula was into girls?
I only put my hand on her shoulder in greeting on my way to the bathroom but apparently she’d heard what I’d been doing tonight because she practically jumped me.
By the time she was finished I was left leaning against the wall and panting like I’d just run a marathon!

That girl’s going to make some other girl REAL happy someday, I swear her tongue’s got to be at least ten inch’s long from how far she shoved it down my throat!

“You know what, they’re totally right, I’m a lesbian of the highest order but I’m NOT drunk!”
A few people around us gasped.
One of the loudest being my sister, who’d sequestered herself somewhere behind me in a dark corner to hide in embarrassment as she watched me go hell for leather on her reputation.

I’m not being cruel about it.
Up to this point I’ve kept everything pretty innocent and she can get out of it all easily if she claims someone slipped her something.
Aside from Paula, I’ve mostly just been overly affectionate with girls tonight while ignoring the boys.

I may have just overstepped a little with that last statement though now that I think about it..

“May I have this dance then, oh dark witch of female fraternisation?”
He leaned back and waved his hand in a deep bow, which honestly looked kind of stupid with the long ruffled sleeves of his surprisingly realistic looking ‘french fop’ outfit.

I froze for a moment but a small slip of an idea had my mouth moving up into a slightly pained smile seconds later.
A perfect way to counter going a bit too far on the ‘lesbian’ shtick while ALSO pissing off my sister at the same time!

If her friends we’re unsure of how to react when she started getting all touchy-feely with them before, then just wait until they see ‘her’ dancing with HIM of all people!
This is going to be PERFECT!

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

“Back two, three and dip”
I let out an annoyingly girly shriek of surprise despite expecting it from his muttered warning.

He looked far too pleased with himself as he lifted me back up out of the dip and folded me back into his arms so we could rock a moment before moving into his next set of moves.

I think we’ve kind of developed a bit of an audience at this point.
We’ve been friends for years but even I didn’t know he was THIS good of a dancer.
He’s even managed to make ME look good, despite the fact that I’ve barely been aware of what’s happening throughout most of it, just from the shear speed he’s pulling moves off with!

“Be honest, you’re enjoying yourself..”
My cheeks flushed slightly and I glanced away from him instead of answering.

I’m supposed to be my sister and SHE can’t stand him for some reason.
I on the other hand feel worryingly comfortable in his arms, the way he laughs whenever he gets a reaction out of me, the way his warm palms are resting on my hips as he rocks us slowly to the beat..

SNAP OUT OF IT!
I’m not a girl and if he knew who I was really he’d have no interest in me at ALL right about now!
I like girls, I like Tiffany!

“A..”
He trailed off suddenly.
I went a little tense for a second but covered for it easily enough.

It sounded like he was going to say a name from his tone of voice, the big problem there being that my sister’s name doesn’t begin with ‘A’.. but mine does?..

I turned my eyes up to his with just a touch of worry and hesitation on my face.
When our gazes met his face moved into a warm smile and he squeezed me a little more as we rocked.
Before I really knew WHAT was happening his head dipped down and he snatched a kiss from my lips.

All sound in the hall seemed to disappear as people watched us, waiting for my.. for my SISTERS reaction?..
The moment he pulled his face back my hand came up to my mouth as if I could somehow delete his actions from reality with a touch.

His face shifted slightly in worry as he watched me start panicking.
HE KISSED ME!
Everyone SAW him KISS me!!

I twisted my body slightly to torque out of his grip and made a dash for the door.
He tried to reach out and stop me but I shook off his hand easily as I sprinted away, tears in my eyes already.

I made it two blocks before sinking against a low brick wall and yanking the stupid uncomfortable ‘witches’ hat off my head.

Quick feet came pounding up the street moments later.
I barely noticed when two warm bodies slid into place on either side of me.
Tiffany wrapped her arm around my shoulders and hugged me tight while my sister didn’t seem to quite know what to do honestly.

“It’s okay, it was just a kiss. He’s a horn-dog and he’s got a bone for.. well..”
She shot an awkward glance over at my sister and shrugged with a bit of a lost look on her face.

“He.. he knew it was me?.. he almost said my name?!.. how.. how can I face him after this!”
He’s bad enough usually!
He’s going to be unbearable, even if he doesn’t just decide to tell everyone to start with!!

“Come on, let’s get you home. I’m sorry things got so out of hand..”
I leaned into the ‘vampires’ side and sighed loudly.

I know she didn’t mean for this sort of thing to happen.
She never DOES, she just doesn’t think things through properly before jumping in with both feet.

It’s not all her fault either, I could have said no!
I just got so caught up in having Tiffany’s attention on me all of a sudden and then she kissed me.. and..

“Yeah.. I just wanna go home..”

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

“Wait! Crap! I can’t go home like this?! Mum will see me!”

They both paused to glance back at me with a mix of confusion and worry on their faces.
Tiffany seemed to work it all out first.

“You can’t go back to mine to change either, my folks will be home by now.. and you can’t just go home in normal clothes anyway or she’ll get suspicious..”
She grimaced and glanced around us quickly.
“You need another costume, a boy’s one.”

“Where are we going to find another costume?”
I winced my eyes down and practically begged the universe to not do this to me.
Not after the night I’ve had!

..I just wish there was a costume shop around here or something?..

As I opened my eyes again the streetlights started coming on, obviously from their automatic triggers.
Along with the glow came a neon set of bright colors out the corner of my eye.
I turned to face it instinctively.

We’re standing a few shops down from a costume shop?
How the hell did we not notice THAT before?!

The answer became clear seconds later, it’s not so much that we missed it but the fact that the shop is shut up tight for the night and completely dark inside.
With the exception of that single neon sign that decided to turn itself on..
Guess I got my wish for a costume shop at least?

..stupid wish’s..
Why didn’t I specify ‘an open’ costume shop?!

“Hello, anyone in there?”
For a moment I thought Tiffany was talking to the shop but apparently she was talking to me instead.
My eyes focused back on her she gave me a bright smile that made my tummy flip a little.
She’s still REALLY pretty..

“We think we have an idea for a workable costume, come on.”
She took my hand in hers and practically dragged me up the street as we trailed behind my sisters determined stride.

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

“Where’s this special costume shop then? We’ve been walking for ages..”
I really doubt there’s a costume shop around here honestly?
As far as I know this whole area’s mostly residential with a few restaurants and corner shops mixed in here and there.

“Isn’t it obvious? It’s right here!”

Tiffany groaned but she didn’t add anything to the conversation as my sister paused at the entranceway of a dark alleyway behind the pizza place on the corner as if it was some kind of amazing sight in general.

I slowly peaked around her and frowned heavily.
Now’s really not the time for jokes!

“It’s an alleyway..”

“It’s the perfect place to get a costume from!”
I glanced around her again and cringed a little as the shadows moved making things a bit clearer.

“I take it the old dude in the funky bathrobe watching us from his cardboard bed is selling the costumes huh?”

“..maybe..”

“You don’t have a clue what you’re doing do you?”

“..maybe?.. look on the bright side though, how many costume shops do you know that are THIS open plan WITH an attached restaurant?!”
Her grin was almost painful to watch.
She’s trying to be funny and I honestly can’t tell if she’s covering for the fact that she made a mistake or if she’s just trying to be annoying.

“I don’t buy costumes from old men in bathrobes.. it’s a good general rule of thumb..”
They both winced at the frustration obvious in my voice.
We all jumped a moment later when another voice joined the conversation.

“I have a name you know.. and it’s not a bathrobe it’s just a long coat..”

As a group we screamed in fright.
The strange homeless man had practically appeared out of nowhere, just a second ago he was right at the far end of the alleyway!

Before he could get another word off we made a break for it around to the front of the pizza place, hopefully he won’t follow us all the way out here.

Homeless people are SCARY!!

“Well.. seeing as we’re here we could get a pizza or something.. I guess..”
She was trying to sound innocent but I practically TAUGHT her how to fake that voice when we were kids so it’s not going to fool me.

“If you were hungry you should have just SAID instead of leading us on a wild goose chase for some fake costume shop!”

“um.. trick or treat?..”
I glared at her for even trying that one but Tiffany sniggered to herself which seemed to only encourage her.
When that first attempt didn’t work she seemed to think hard for a second.
“..april fools?”

Even my lips twitched up at that one.
It’s not even the same SEASON as April let alone month!

My slight smile seemed to be all she was looking for.
With a big huff I was engulfed in a sisterly hug which was only slightly too tight.
It may have been my imagination but I think she muttered a quiet ‘sorry’ to me as we pulled apart.

“Okay, you got me, I’m hungry as all hell.”

“That’s more like it. Liars never get treats, lets head in for some pizza then.. you’re buying obviously.”
She opened her mouth to argue but a glance from me stopped her short on that one.
I’m letting her off on the goose chase thing because I know what she’s like and while I’d love to say I expected more from her, in all honesty with my sister.. her stomach comes before most things on a good day.

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

Tiffany paused half way through her third slice of pizza with a thoughtful look on her face.
I’d barely touched one of my slices so far, I’m not really a big fan of pizza and I’m not that hungry either.
I mostly got the pizza because my darling sister is paying for it and she deserves to pay for me at the moment, even if I don’t particularly want it.

“I’ve got an idea..”
We both paused for a second and looked at Tiffany curiously, waiting for her to continue.
A string of cheese stretched out and landed on the table from the sister-shaped pizza beast’s possibly sixth or seventh slice..
She REALLY likes pizza, it’s kind of sickening to watch sometimes..
“Be back in a minute.”

Without another word Tiffany slid out from the table and made her way over to the counter.
I perked up an eyebrow but got an equally confused eyebrow in return as we turned to watch her go.

Apparently it wasn’t just my imagination, she really didn’t explain her ‘idea’ to us in the slightest?

“Oh well, can’t be much worse than this at least”
We shared a smile as I picked at my ‘witch’ costumes skirt slightly before turning back to my pizza while keeping an eye on Tiffany’s rather animated conversation at the counter.

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

“How’s it fit?”

I grumbled to myself and pulled at the shirt again to cover my belly a bit more.
It’s by no means perfect but it’s a major step up from the witch costume at least.

Tiffany’s idea turned out to be along the lines of ‘I wonder if they have a spare uniform they’d sell us?’..
Honestly, I don’t think it would have worked normally but apparently the staff aren’t exactly happy with having to work on Halloween and they all just so happen to dislike a certain person who decided to not turn up for her shift tonight, so I’m in luck.. kind of.

“The shirts a bit small..”
The trousers are too, like SKIN tight small!

As ‘costumes’ go it’s a bit stupid but I guess uniforms are technically just a costume someone has to wear everyday for work right?
It kinda works.. even if it is kinda lame at the same time..

It could be worse I guess, at least it’s not a skirt!

“Get out here so we can see idiot.”
Coming, oh great-big sisterly pain in my ass!

When I came out of the disabled toilet I was met by one amused sister and one rather interested looking Tiffany.

“You’ll do, I’ll go thank the guy at the till and get our food to go.”
She-who-lives-to-make-my-life-annoying, wandered off leaving me in the little hallway between the bathrooms with a worryingly bright eyed and smirking Tiffany.

The moment we were alone she launched herself forwards and snatched a kiss from me.
Her hands came up to my ribs and stroked their way towards my chest.
She paused when her hand came into contact with the band of ‘my’ bra.

“You kept it on?.. for me?.. PERFECT!”
I couldn’t even point out that, ‘No I didn’t leave it on for her’ before she was back on me, occupying my mouth rather handily.

I kept it on because it doesn’t show through too badly and it would be suspicious if I came out completely male after going into the bathroom as a female looking witch a minute ago.. not that she seems entirely interested by the logic of it all at this point.

“I do so LOVE a girl in uniform!”
Her wicked little smile made my tummy flip again.
She almost went in for another go at removing my tonsils with her tongue when a call came out for us, interrupting our fun with almost perfect timing.

Rather than get caught in the act Tiffany reluctantly let me go and helped straighten my ‘pizza delivery guy’ uniform.. skin-tight girls trousers, belly flashing shirt and all.

It’s not much of an improvement but it’s something at least.
If we’re lucky and I’m quick enough getting in the house Mum might not even notice.
A girl can dream right?.. uh.. I mean boy.. you know what I mean!

Without another word Tiffany took my hand in hers and lead me back outside with a slight skip in her step for some reason.

I don’t think I’ll ever understand girls properly..

^8^ ^8^ (( o.- )) ^8^ ^8^

I made a slight detour around to the alleyway as we left and offered my practically untouched slices of pizza to the homeless guy from before.
I felt kind of guilty for how we’d treated him and he certainly seemed to appreciate it at least, even if he did still look scary AND I’m almost certain that despite what he said his ‘coat’ is definitely more of a ‘bathrobe’, just from its fluffiness and color alone.

Tiffany split off from us about half way home to go on to her house.
She shot me a devilish little smile when she promised to see us again soon and even winked at me over my sisters shoulder when they hugged goodbye.

The plan went better then we could have hoped from there.
While Mum was distracted by just how much cleavage the littlest vampires dress showed off I slipped in the unattended backdoor and made my way to my room completely unnoticed.

I felt kind of let down that Mum didn’t seem to have even noticed that I’d been gone at all honestly?
Not surprised in the slightest, but still a little let down at least.

By the time I made my way out to the kitchen for a ‘late night snack’ Mum didn’t even bat an eye at my appearance, let alone show some kind of indication that she’d noticed I wasn’t home all night, despite the telling off she gave the vampire queen not five minutes ago for precisely that reason!

An hour or so later I was stewing over that detail as I scanned the pages on my latest library book before bed.
We don’t have school tomorrow so I’m in no rush to sleep but I heard Mum go into her room a while ago so technically that marks the unofficial house ‘bed time’.

A light tap at my door made me glance up but she didn’t wait for me to respond before slipping it open and moving quickly into my room on silent, sock-clad feet.

She seemed a bit uncertain for a while.
She just stood there watching me as I tried to focus on my book.

“I’m sorry about today. It really wasn’t my idea, I know I shouldn’t have mentioned the bra thing from last year to her but she kept pushing and it just kinda spilled out, ya know?”
I grunted in acknowledgement.
I’m not particularly angry at her, this is hardly the worst thing she’s ever done to me over the years intentionally or not.

Aside from the kiss from ‘Joe’ it wasn’t honestly too bad a night either.. I kinda had fun hanging out with her properly again and Tiffany was.. she’s really pretty?..

Sarah paced over to the bed and sat next to me heavily before leaning over to rest her cheek against mine fondly.

“Love you Al, thanks for being a good sport about it all.”
I grunted again before putting my book down and answering properly.

“..yeah well.. I’m used to it with you around aren’t I?”
She jolted her head up and glared at me sharply.

“And what exactly is THAT supposed to mean?”
Rather than answer I just huffed to myself and offered her a weak smile.

“Oh no, you don’t! You can’t get out of it that easily.. this calls for drastic measures!”
..oh god..
“Twin-time tickle attack!”
She knew exactly where to get me and her evil little fingers managed to leave me writhing frantically on the bed laughing hard.
“Say Uncle or I’ll keep going till you pee your pants!”

“U..Uh.. U-HAHA! NO! Stop! Sa- HA! SARAH! UNCLE! UNCLE, UNCLE, UNCLE!”
She stopped instantly and settled back on her knees with a smirk on her face.

“That’s better, you’re no fun when you’re grumpy.. did you enjoy yourself a little bit at least?”
I couldn’t really voice anything and I was reluctant to admit it but I kind of DID have fun tonight.
Apparently I took too long to answer because she continued without input from me.
“Whatever, no appreciation I tell ya, see if I take YOU to any more kick-ass party’s anymore!”

Despite the playful tone to her voice and my partial admittance to having enjoying myself, internally at least, I still let off a relieved sigh at the idea that we wouldn’t be doing something like tonight EVER again!

I’ve still got to face John, or ‘Joe’ as Sarah calls him, at school on Monday.
That’s going to be SO awkward!

“I’ll just have to bring my sister Hannah with me instead next time, won’t I?”
Her face took on a sharp knowing smirk as she winked at me blatantly.
I sunk into the bed as best I could and cringed hard.

She wouldn’t actually do that right?..
..Right?..

Who am I kidding, look at that smirk, she’d TOTALLY do it!

“Maybe next time we can wear matching costumes? Twin witches, can you IMAGINE the reactions we’d get?!”
She seemed to bliss out for a second at the idea but eventually she couldn’t hold it in anymore and she cracked up laughing at the expression of dread on my face.

Rather than apologise she pulled me into a tight hug and rubbed her cheek against mine affectionately instead.

“Night Han, thanks for shedding your ‘Al’ costume for me tonight so we could have fun again.. feels like ages since we did something like this?.. don’t suppose you fancy going shopping this weekend do you? I saw this skirt that would just be GORGEOUS on you the other day!”

Rather than answer I grabbed a pillow and batted her on the head with it.
She let off a loud laugh and quickly made her way out the door.

When she was finally gone I sunk back onto my bed with a sigh.
It’s been a long day.
Awkward, scary, weird as all hell.. but kind of fun too?

She kind of has a point, it’s been weeks since she found an excuse to get me into a skirt again.
Tiffany’s involvement went about as well as could be expected considering she’s an outsider.

At least she didn’t realise that there was more history to me dressing up then meets the eye, right?

My hand came up to my lips tenderly to trace them slightly.
She really IS pretty.. a good kisser too..

Unintentionally my mind jumped from her forceful stolen kisses to John’s more gentle one.

For a single moment my fingers continued to ghost along my lips fondly before I clocked just what the hell I was doing!
In the blink of an eye, I yanked my hand back to my side forcefully and huffed loudly to cover for my sudden blush.
..stupid John..

At least Halloween’s over now!
I’m sure Sarah will find another excuse to have me dressed up again soon enough, even if she doesn’t take me on the promised shopping trip there’s loads of opportunities for her to exploit between now and Christmas.

I wonder what it’s like to have a normal life?
One where you don’t have a pushy twin sister, neglectful mother, love-sick best friend or whatever the hell Tiffany is at this point to deal with?..

She really was pretty tonight.. that’s something better to focus on at least.
..she’d better not tell anyone about tonight?..

BUGGER!

I forgot to tell her to keep quiet about it all!.. AND she’s still got my clothes around her house too!
How the hell am I going to get those back now?!

Oh well.. it can wait I guess?
I’ll sort it out in the morning somehow.. I always do eventually.

As stupid Halloween cross-dressing adventures go tonight could have been worse at least.
I’ve HAD worse adventures honestly, although that’s a whole other story and it’s far too late to get into it NOW of all times.

It can wait until morning, everything can.
Sleep first.. definitely sleep first..

fin