Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

Chapter one

Rebecca Juliette Anderson, a first with honours from the University of Manchester… That paper seemed so important, like something she had waited her whole life to see.

Becca read her graduation certificate over and over again as she sat in the Departure lounge at Manchester Airport. As the crowds surged around her, going to and fro, she felt like her world was a bubble, she couldn’t hear anything outside her own thoughts. She could feel her heart thumping inside her chest, this was her new start, her rebirth, that beginning again she had dreamt of since she first started to truly become herself during her first year at university. She wanted Bogart to pop out of nowhere and sweep her off her feet, ala Casablanca, but she knew her life wasn’t a movie, she giggled as she started to think about her life. It felt so cheesy to be doing that, at a time like this. It’s a stock montage in films. If her life was a movie, it would be going straight to rental she thought. The more she thought, the more feelings welled up from her past, what was being left behind.

21 years ago, a whole lifetime ago, a beautiful baby boy was born on a ward in St Mary’s maternity hospital in Manchester not 10 miles away. That beautiful baby was given the name; Charles Richard Anderson. His loving parents David and Christine Anderson raised their child with love and care. The very best School, the best chances and the best life they could offer. Little did they know what their good intentions did to little Charlie…

From the age of 2, though to his 18th birthday, Charlie suffered the all boys private school his well meaning parents sent him to. He was different to the other boys, so very different. It took him years to realise how. His pain was completely invisible to his ever so loving parents. Charlie wasn’t a boy. The shy, friendless bullied teen was a girl in boys clothing. She was the only person who truly knew what went on inside her turbulent brain. Throughout her teenage years, our heroine struggled with her identity, was she just mad? Was she really a girl? What would her parents think? Fearing the worst, she bottled it up inside her, keeping her darkest deepest secret, herself, hidden from view.

She did her time in what felt like a jail sentence. She pretended to be a boy, she acted, and she was someone else a male caricature. Her parents never noticed their child slowly withdrawing from them. Dismissing it as simply teenage angst and rebellion, after all, what young boy wants to be loving and emotional, and close to his parents? How desperately she wanted to be there, be her daddy’s little girl. To help her mother, to shop for pretty clothes, to be taken on dates by cute boys. The boys she shared her jail with. It got far too much for her. Her mother’s sleeping pills and her father’s whiskey offered her a way out of the misery. One night, she simply went to sleep. Free at last, from the torment, anguish, and pain. She very nearly succeeded. Had her caring mother not come in to kiss her goodnight, something she had never known about. Her mother’s love saved her life. Waking up in hospital gives you a different perspective. The tubes and wires, our heroine made a promise to herself, she would be herself, and it would NOT kill her. It had killed Charlie, he had left her body. She was only a girl now, no more hiding.

Her parents had been shocked to find out she was depressed, but her fear of rejection kept her from telling them why. It got worse.

When she turned 18, she left home for university, finally free of the all boys’ prison she had spent so long in. She felt so free, and began to be more herself; her hair grew longer, behaviour more natural, she flourished finally beginning to become herself. It was a long slow process, she mustn’t let her parents realise that their son was dead. It went too far after she started taking female hormones with her doctors help. She couldn’t hide the changes. And she had to face her worst fear.

Becca remembered that vividly, like it was yesterday. She remembered her stomach being so knotted and flip-flopping around like a fish out of water. She felt so vulnerable and fragile when she finally did it. She poured out her soul to her family, and instead of loving the child they raised, they threw her out in the cold to fend for herself, disgusted by their perverted child with a new attention seeking ‘hobby’. Our heroine was utterly devastated Left alone and unloved, she fought to pay for her university tuition, and to survive on her own. She vowed that the night she graduated, she would be onboard a plane somewhere, to begin again, where nobody knew her, As Rebecca, and only Rebecca.

This is how she came to be sat in the departure lounge at Manchester Airport…

Stretching, Becca slid her certificate back into her carryon bag, a small purple rucksack. Shouldering it, she walked over to a nearby caffeine dealer and purchased a large cappuccino. Holding the warm cup between her hands, she stood looking out the dark window across the airport. She couldn’t see much, but the lounge itself reflected back at her. How she had changed, her mousy brown hair fell just past her shoulders in luscious waves. Her slim toned body was perfectly feminine, nobody would ever imagine this young girl, had once been physically male. Of course part of that remained. It had taken every penny Becca could earn to stay afloat, and with a roof over her head, and the plane ticket and apartment rent hadn’t been cheap. She wasn’t going to be a complete woman just yet. Her one dark secret remained, hidden beneath her jeans and underwear. It was the last dirty smudge on her life, something she regretted not being able to resolve before beginning her new life, but something she would have to live with for the time being. It had cut short many a relationship for her, either out of whichever guy’s impatience for sex, or her revealing her past. Either way, she was a lonely young woman.

It was time to break with her past, to start fresh and aim for the future. She pulled her hoodie tight around her to keep out some of the chill of the evening. Hadn’t airports heard of heating? There was one last thing she had to do. Turning she walked over to a payphone, her fingers fell to the numbers in practiced order. Her home telephone number was something she would never forget.

The ringing was deafening. It was like a death knell chiming;

“Hello, who is it please?”

“h, hi mum, its m, me”

“I’m sorry, who?”

“It’s me, uh, Rebecca… your daughter?”

“Oh Charlie, well you are still playing this silly game are you? When are you going to come home and be out handsome boy again? Isn’t this silly game getting tired? We said we would pay for a psychiatrist to cure you of this madness…”

“Look mum, I don’t want to talk about that right now, it’s not why I called…”

Christine Anderson snorted quietly “Can’t you even talk normally? You sound ridiculous”

“Um, this is normal mum. And look, I just wanted to talk to you one last time, I’m going away… for a long time a long way away, and I, uh, I just wanted to hear your voice.”

“What are you playing at? Are you going to go through customs dressed as a woman? They will see your passport!”

“MUM, my passport says I’m a girl” Becca hissed looking around to make sure nobody was overhearing her. “I’m legally a girl; you’re the only ones who don’t see the plain damn truth. Look, I just wanted to give you a chance, and it seems some things don’t change, look, I love you, and ill always love you all so much, but I cant go on like this, your ignorance and bigotry is killing me inside, and I need to leave, to go somewhere nobody knows my name, somewhere I can move on. You took away the chance of a family. You wanted what you wanted and be damned to anyone else!” Rebecca could feel herself getting angry and tried to count to ten.

“Look, I love you, more than words can say. I always will”

“Charlie lis…..”
*Click*

With that, Becca replaced the handset onto the phone, and quietly sobbed, the tears felt like acid on her cheeks. She had known the final goodbye would come. She had always seen it as something in the future. A distant threat that would never come to fruition. But it had come, it was time, dabbing her eyes, she put on a brave face and headed across the lounge to the boarding gate for her flight.

Could it be different? Would it be? Would she find the love her parents couldn’t give?
This was her Baptism of fire; she was getting her second birth.

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

Chapter two

“May I see your boarding pass please ma'am?” The smiling stewardess behind the little desk beamed.

Becca just grimaced back, handing over the pass feeling entirely rotten. This was some new start. Shouldn’t she be happy? Excited?

There was a pang of uncertainty in her heart, a good one, she admitted, but it was overshadowed by the loss of her parents. It had been that way for months she knew, years even, but hearing and experiencing the end didn’t make that any easier.

“Have a lovely flight and thank you for flying American” The hostess chattered, still with the superglue smile on her face

Becca walked up the boarding ramp; this would be her last footfalls on British soil for some years she admitted. Although technically she hadn’t been touching the ground for the last hour or two… Seeing the aircraft lightened her heart. This was her chariot, her vessel to another world. A spaceship taking her to an alien world, where nobody knew Charlie, where the past was just that. This wasn’t the end, this was a new beginning.

Once aboard the aircraft, she followed the other passengers to her seat, ‘was F isle or window?’ She mused. Becca had a thing for flying, even if she couldn’t see where she was going, the twinkling lights, and passing clouds still made her feel good. To her pleasure, she found that her seat was indeed a window seat, and there was a tall dark haired man sat in the isle. Excusing herself, she moved past him and took her seat. The man seemed engrossed in a newspaper, ‘The Washington Post’ Obviously an American going home she thought.

The cabin crew performed the pre-flight briefing with all the associated arm waving and superglue smiles of practiced Stewards and Stewardesses. Like most passengers, she ignored them, choosing instead to watch the airfield outside as the plane taxied to the runway. This was it, her break… turning back to the world inside the jet, she adjusted her seatbelt and stared directly forwards as the aircraft began to roll forwards. She sighed as the aircraft became airborne, visibly relaxing. She was free.

The man looked across at her; “So who are you running from?”

Becca almost jumped out of her seat, was she that easy to read? Had her nerves been that obvious?

“I um, err, nobody, just, moving, to start work.” She looked across at the man. “You’re an American aren’t you?”

“Good guess, I’m Tony, you are?”

His smile was intoxicating, she felt instantly at ease,

“Um, Becca, I mean, Rebecca, uh, Rebecca Anderson” she stammered.

Still smiling, Tony spoke; “So let me guess, your running away to America to start a new life, because….” He looked deeply and theatrically thoughtful “You got pregnant, and had a fight with your parents, and chose to emigrate after having an emergency abortion on the way to the airport?”

Feeling ever so slightly remorseful that that could never be the case, “I, erm, your half right, I had a fight with my parents, and I just graduated from university today, and I’m moving to begin my life, on my terms, why were you in England?” attempting to divert his attentions.

“I’m always right, so if it wasn’t pregnancy, a bad boy lover? Or you’re really a man, who had a sex change to hide from the law, and you’re fleeing the country post haste?”

She felt a stab of fear shoot through her heart

“Well let me tell you, if you were, I'd feel honoured to tell you that I’ve never met a cuter escaped convict”

Feeling slightly cross and relived she bantered back considering calling his bluff the best way around such a sticky topic, “Well you got me, my name was Fred, and as I’m a guy, I like girls, so you’re out of luck Mr Tony, My parents and I fought because I’m a lesbian” she said smirking, attempting to suppress a giggle.

“I’ve not met one lesbian in my 28 years, that gave me the eyes like you’ve been doing so I don’t buy you’re story Fred, or shall we just stick to Rebecca?”

She felt herself going bright red, was it possible for the human ears to steam? She felt as though she was doing a damn good job of it. Tony had this cat got the crá¨me grin on his face, ear to ear of white straight teeth, an American smile…

“You know” he smiled, “This is one of those movie things, guy meets girl, nature forces them together on a airliner for 5-6 hours, all we need now is turbulence, an you to tell me your afraid of flying…”

He hadn’t bought her story, any of them, and he seem to have dropped it, she shot him a short coy smile,
“Oh, dear, sorry, I’m going to have to deviate from the plot Mr Director, I’m just fine with flying and the more turbulence the better.” She giggled.

Slipping her headphones into her ears she thumbed through her ipod for something obnoxiously violent. She liked the guy, but that’s just what this was, he was right, one of those airplane things. She would probably never see him again after they got off the plane, their lives would fork, and never return. Meeting the right guy wasn’t this easy. She began to dose off, it had been an eventful day, and she was beginning to nod off. Sleep finally came and Becca slipped into a dream world free, and serene.

Becca woke slowly, she had been dreaming of her childhood again. How it could have been. The first thing that she noticed in her groggy near waking state, was that she wasn’t sat up, or leaning on the fuselage. It was soft, and warm, and breathing….

She sat bolt upright in her seat, and looked at where she had been lying. Nestled into the side of Tony’s chest, the owner of which was wide awake... She expected him to be uncomfortable, but he had a warm smile on his face, not the Cheshire cat grin from before, but a friendly smile. Feeling herself turn red she started to jabber about how sorry she was, and how she hoped he wasn’t offended.

He hushed her to silence; “You know, as payment for using me as a pillow, you can accompany me to dinner when we get out of this tin can.”

“But I never told you where I was going to be living?” Becca replied cautiously.

“Well we’re flying into Dulles International, and we both have connections to Norfolk, so the chances of you being in the Norfolk/Portsmouth area are high. Also, I saw the top of the printed map in your carryon, with directions to an apartment Portsmouth…”

Tony pretended to suck on a pipe, and after puffing away symbolically, he announced in a rather good parody of Basil Rathbone; “So my deductions are, that not only am I right, but you will accept my gracious offer, and agree to my escort.”

That grin was back; that big toothy cheesy grin that seemed to sum him up. Becca was quite surprised at how easily he had worked it all out. He was funny, smart, good looking, and judging by his Armani shirt, wasn’t living in poverty. Should she give him a chance? Was it right to make a friend or possible ex this soon? Did she want to start dating already?.

Pushing that to the back of her mind, she smiled back, and looking into his laughing eyes, almost whispered; “Id like that Mr Holmes.”

Curling up on the sofa she quietly sobbed and let out her pain. This really was it. This was the pain of childbirth; her second birth, her new life. She was grounded now, this was her place, and she wasn’t just visiting. The reality hit her hard. She could quite possibly never see her family again. And this thought rocked her very being.

Born Twice
Chapter 3
By Alyssa Plant

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Chapter Three

After landing in Washington, and passing through US customs, Becca finally gave up the last of her tension. She was home now, she could feel it. The Cross state connection was almost like a bus ride; Almost as soon as she had settled in and began to relax, she was getting off again and back In the bustle of the crowd. She had grown comfortable around Tony, and enjoyed being in his presence. Having insisted on carrying her luggage for her, he saw her to the taxi rank outside the main doors of Norfolk International. Their parting was awkward; neither knowing what was appropriate, and settling for a quick friendly hug.

She had felt nervous leaving someone she had grown quite fond of. Her first and only friend in this new place was gone, and she finally had to work things out herself. Silly, she admitted, as it was little different to visiting another big city in the UK. Regardless the innocent little girl resurfaced, and she felt very aware of her surroundings. He had her number; she felt a few butterflies flit around her tummy as she wondered when he would call.

The Cab driver pulled over in front of a building she recognised by the advert, her place. After helping her with her luggage from the trunk, he was gone.

Standing on the sidewalk, Becca looked up and down the street that was now her home, her neighbourhood, her neck of town. With a sigh, she turned and headed to the door, hitting the apartment manager’s buzzer.

It crackled to live, and a middle-aged woman’s voice answered.

“Um, hi, its Rebecca Anderson, I’m the new tenant for 4C…”

The microphone clicked off and the door started buzzing. Unperturbed, Becca pushed the door open and began to heave her belongings inside the hallway.

A stout middle-aged woman appeared from an apartment near the door;

“Hello dear, you must be Rebecca, its lovely to meet you at last; I hope you had a pleasant journey?”

“Hi, yes, it was fine thank you” she replied smirking at how pleasant it indeed had been.

The Manager led Becca up the elevator to the 4th floor of the building, which was cleaner than Becca had expected, and considering the rent she was paying, surprising. Once the manager had let her in, and shown her around, Becca was left alone.

She stood there, in her new den, luggage around her, and felt a shiver shoot down her spine. She then broke down sobbing. Curling up on the sofa she quietly sobbed and let out her pain. This really was it. This was the pain of childbirth; her second birth, her new life. She was grounded now, this was her place, and she wasn’t just visiting. The reality hit her hard. She could quite possibly never see her family again. And this thought rocked her very being.

Being outcast was one thing, as much as they hated her, she couldn’t bring herself to feel the same way. She loved them with every ounce of her being and that would never change, but her leaving the country broke that tenuous denial in her heart that they still cared. For the first time in her life, she felt truly alone.

What felt like hours later she rose from her trance like depression and began to actually look around her apartment.

The den was spacious and clean looking. The furniture had been included in the rent, and the place was quite comfortable. It would still need those touches before it felt like home though.

Getting up and stretching, Becca dragged her cases into the bedroom and began to unpack her worldly possessions.

After nearly two hours, she felt moved in, and grabbing her coat, headed out of her apartment and down to the street, food wasn’t going to come to her…

Standing on the sidewalk, she tried to remember the map, everything felt so disorientating now she was on the ground. Feeling convinced that she was right, Becca headed off down the road, very wary of her surroundings. Soon, she was on a main road, and nearing a small row of shops, Becca was relived to find a grocery store. Stepping inside was another culture shock to her. Whilst she recognised a few major brands, most of the foods were alien to her by name. Becca was reminded very vividly of how she was now in a different country, just the same language.

Once she had loaded her basket, she proceeded to the checkout area, where a cute guy in his mid 20s rang up her items and packed them in bags for her. He wanted to chat, but she was so shy and overawed by the new experience that she probably came across as rude she thought to herself in hindsight as she walked back down the street.

Several blocks from her apartment, her phone began to ring, nearly causing her to drop her bags. Her heart flipped as she recognised the number, one she had input only that morning.

“Hello?” she answered anxiously.

“Hey there, how are you settling in?” His voice sounded melodic, a happy warm sound that swam around her tummy making the butterflies take flight.

“I’m ok I guess, just been out for groceries and I’m all unpacked, not much of that to do to be honest, did you get home ok?”

How stupid she thought, he was the native, of course he got home ok.

“Hey, so I thought you could do with a friendly face to show you around the city, so why don’t I pick you up tonight, and take you out to dinner?”

The flipping turned into full scale acrobatics in her tummy.

Mentally checking her sparse wardrobe she replied, “Uh ok, sure, since you’re so smart, I won’t need to tell you my address… what time?”

“Well I know I’m amazing, but telepathy isn’t one of my skills yet, so how’s about a trade, I pick you up at… 8, and you tell me where you live?

“Apartment 4C, 232 Columbia Road, ill see you then?”

“It’s a date” And he hung up.

Becca’s heart was racing, not even 24 hours in the US and she was going on a date with a gorgeous, funny, intelligent man… what had she done to deserve this? Why her? Oh god, what about when he found out? It would be good till then, but after? She promised herself that she wouldn’t let it be like the others, she would tell him before it got serious, or she would break it off. Her heart wouldn’t stand being broken again. She would be open early, and suffer the consequences.

Arriving back at her building, she headed inside. She had only brought two going out dresses with her, and only one fitted the bill for tonight.

After depositing her groceries she dove into the shower to shave her legs and do her hair, wanting to look her best.

Becca did her best not to look at her crotch. Seeing that thing between her legs upset her a great deal. It didn’t belong, she didn’t deserve this torment, her nakedness mocked her, she couldn’t be happy while it was still there; it was her skeleton in the closet, only this skeleton donned black robes and a scythe whenever she fell in love; a curse on her heart.

Becca towel dried her hair as she stepped from the shower and slipping on her robe, before padding through to her bedroom.

She selected her dress, a classic Black sheath dress with a sweeping neckline that plunged suggestively towards her cleavage, but keeping its modest distance. She looked good in it, she knew. It’s the dress she had worn to the graduate party at her University department the week before the actual graduation ceremony, she was simple, yet elegant, and she wanted that classic look tonight. Tony was a man that appreciated the finer things in life, and subtlety. The modest glamour of her dress would please him more than 6 inches more of thigh she decided.

She dried and styled her hair into luscious vibrant waves cascading down over her shoulders, and highlighted her deep slate blue eyes and high cheekbones with just the hint of makeup. She viewed her creation in the mirror, classic elegant beauty, he would love it.

As she was checking her hair for the 5th time, the buzzer rang…

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To be continued...
 
Note from the author:
I may only be able to get one chapter produced a week now, as I've just started back to college, so please be patient and ill keep the chapters coming.
thanks
Alyssa

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

Chapter four

As Becca hung up the handset and left her apartment: She felt like she had a shoal of fish leaping and swimming around her tummy, those pre-date nerves coming back with vengeance.

She had always been this way since she started dating, crazy nerves; this first time was always the same. She knew it shouldn’t be, but it was. Her fragile heart wouldn’t survive another break. She couldn’t be hurt this time, or she might never recover.

There was something about Tony, his eyes; he had kind eyes, gorgeous dark pools of happiness. Just thinking about him made her feel better.

The lift doors swished open and her eyes immediately darted to the apartment door. Tony was stood outside by his car, a green sporty thing, Becca wasn’t sure what exactly.

His bored far away expression turned into one of those dazzling smiles as Becca opened the front door and stepped outside: He was dressed in chinos and a dress shirt; the whole casual outfit probably cost more than most formal ones she thought.

“Wow, you sure know how to make an impression…” he beamed giving her more than a subtle once over, “you look amazing.”

Becca felt herself blush and looked down at her feet, slowly raising her eyes to meet his. “Uh, I, uh, thank you, you look, ni…, very handsome.” She half mumbled feeling her ears steam with embaracement. Becca couldn’t believe that she was acting like a high school girl on her first date, mashing her words, her heart in her mouth.

That smile was intoxicating, it just destroyed her every fear and inhibition, she felt almost like this was her first date, her first REAL date, with a REAL man. Right about now the musical medley would start and one or other of them would break into song and dance she thought.

“Come on” he laughed “They will hold the table for a few hours, but days even I can’t guarantee” He held the car door for her, the perfect gentleman: As she passed him and slid into the passenger seat she shot him a coy smirk.

Tony joined her in the car and he set off towards, she guessed, the river. The drive was fairly mundane, initial difficulties gotten over, they chatted about this and that; mundane things to avoid awkward silence.

After a short while, they arrived outside a restaurant by the river. A valet rushed to open Becca’s door for her. Smiling at the young man, she anxiously looked for Tony; worried about how to behave, or what to do. This was a first for her; her previous dates weren’t quite as upmarket.

Becca took Tony’s arm as he offered it, and allowed him to escort her into the restaurant.

It was busy inside, but not completely full. Clearly one of the more popular places in the area to dine she mused. They waited by the doorway for the Maitre de to find them a table.

Once seated, and drinks ordered, that awkward silence took over, where each waited for the other to break the ice.

“So tell me about you… who is Rebecca then?” He seemed to go straight after what she wasn’t telling him. It was a fairly mundane question, but with so many answers.

“Well I don’t think there’s much to know, I’m 21, graduated from college yesterday, a first with honours In Physical Geography from the University of Manchester. I’m sat in a restaurant with a very handsome man who bugged for the entire flight and then took me to dinner. What about you?” she beamed innocently.

“Nice subject change, but I’d rather find out why you ran so far? I don’t want to press, but what did your parents do?” She looked up from the table and met his eyes, the dancing had stopped, they were sad and lonely, she couldn’t help but feel the compassion flowing from them; he seemed to genuinely care.

“We had an argument, about my life, they wanted me to be someone I’m not, do things that would make them happy, not me. I guess they saw me as a trophy child they wanted to mould as they saw fit. Not a dynamic human being, with her own feelings and desires”

She realised that she had been talking to her wine glass, and looked up at Tony. He was looking at her with compassion. No sign of confusion, realisation, or anger. He clearly hadn’t caught the clues she had dropped so carefully.

After he had so blatantly joked about the scenario on the plane, she wondered how he felt about it really.

“Well their loss is my gain it seems” he smiled. “My folks were sorta like that. My old man was all ‘Tony you’re gonna do this, do that, be this! You gonna make me and your Mama proud?’ “He joked in a thick Italian accent.

A waiter Arrived and took their orders. The restaurant specialised in Seafood, and both ended up ordering Italian dishes.

There was light chatter during the meal, and Becca really enjoyed being around Tony. He was a funny, exciting, and energising presence.

After the meal, and the coffee, they headed outside, and waving off the Valet, Tony lead Becca towards the waterfront.

They strolled down the waterfront promenade, looking out across the Potomac and seeing the twinkling lights of the naval docks on the far bank. Tony slipped his arm around Becca’s waist as the walked.

Not feeling at all inclined to remove it, Becca Snuggled into his side.

“I love coming down here after work, it’s a nice place to think, to air your troubles to the waters… Now do you want to tell me what’s really eating you? You didn’t run across an ocean because your parents didn’t like your choice of degree, career. Now you’re clearly not gay. So we can rule out sexuality clash, I hope you aren’t running from an arranged marriage?” he half grinned but somehow still maintaining that serious air he could filter through his humour.

“Tell me why” he whispered in her ear.

Becca felt the hairs standing up on the back of her neck as his words permeated her brain.

Looking up into his eyes, she felt weak, this was not something she wanted to confront so soon, but she knew that if she told a lie, she wouldn’t see him again. He could tell when she was open or closed about something. She really liked him, maybe even she could love him, she certainly felt that she was starting to fall for him.

Now was better, the fall was shorter. She might even survive.

“They threw me out….. Because…” She took a deep breath as she carefully worded her death warrant. “I, I mean they, wanted me to BE someone I’m not.”

She had told this story so many times, said these words, but it never got any easier. It had gotten harder after she transitioned, as she got more ‘so when are you having your breasts removed?’ comments from people genuinely thinking that she was coming out as a preoperative Trans guy. But the words, the action. The unknown, haunted her each time she uttered the words, and her stomach was tied in a vicious knot as she formed the words, staring into Tony’s eyes.

“They wanted me to be the son that they thought they had. I was born a boy, but I’m not one….” She tailed off, her eyes still locked on his.

A red hot tear rolled down her cheek as she spoke, leaving a trail of shame in its wake. She turned her head away from his in shame, breaking that penetrating eye contact.

She knew it was over as she looked out across the river. What a start to her new life in America, Disappointment and heartbreak.

Becca Felt a hand touch her cheek and she winced before realising it wasn’t a slap, but his hand gently turning her head till once more, she was staring into his soul.

Her eyes closed involuntarily, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes.

Then she felt it. His warm breath, his lips lightly brushed hers.

This wasn’t how it was meant to happen? It couldn’t be happening? But it was; she could hardly deny the lips against her own. Her aching heart soared as she returned the kiss first gently in response, then opening her eyes and seeing nothing but love in his, returned the kiss with greater passion.

Note from the Author:
Sorry guys and gals, i know its been a while longer than i anticipated, but with starting college again, and then catching flu (with which I've been out of action for the past 4 days) I've been unable to get my creative juices flowing. Truth be told, i'm still not at my best, so i apologise if this Chapter is sub par, and will get my bum moving with further chapters!
Alyssa

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

Chapter five

Becca trembled in Tony’s arms, she felt so utterly weak and powerless, this man had heard her story, and still liked her, still wanted her.

Becca Closed her eyes, she was so happy. She never saw the fist coming.

She felt the fist connect with her stomach and she fell back onto the pavement winded, he towered above her with a mask of rage distorting his features.

‘This is it.’ She thought, ‘It was too good to be true’

She saw a foot come falling down towards her face and as it connected, she realised it tasted like carpet.

Becca opened her eyes; yes, it was carpet; her bedroom carpet. She had fallen out of bed, it was all a bad dream.

She rolled over and stared up at the ceiling of her room and waited for her heart to stop vibrating inside her ribcage. Casting her mind back to the night before, she remembered her fear, the talk, the kiss….

Her beating heart was replaced by the squiggly feeling in her stomach. Was this what love felt like? Was there such thing as love at first sight?

Becca picked herself up from the floor and trudged through to the kitchen to make herself a coffee. The clock on the wall read 10am.

She stretched and looked around her apartment. It somehow felt like home now. Even thought it had only been a day. She felt grounded now. Finally she had ties in a place. And her life seemed more solid. She had something to live for.

Some time later, a more human and more suitably dressed Becca left her apartment building.

She was a woman with a mission, Ever since she had been a little girl, she had wanted to be a police officer, now that she had her own life, it was time for her to fulfil her dream.

Riding the bus into downtown Portsmouth was an interesting experience for Becca, she was finally seeing the place where she lived; people going about their lives.

The bus pulled over at the stop downtown, and Becca stepped down to the pavement. The City seemed bigger. Alive now, Of course she had been in the downtown area the night before, but it was quieter then. The bustle was disorientating.

If this had been a film, time would have slowed down and the camera panned around Becca standing on the sidewalk in the midst of the flowing human sea. But its not, and standing still for any amount of time would have left her trampled and hospitalised. So Becca forged forwards, and along the sidewalk till she came to the main police precinct.

Becca felt increasingly nervous as she climbed the steps to the building, Her subconscious told her something had to go wrong as the mist of her dreams condensed into reality.

Smiling at the man holding the door for her, she stepped inside the lobby and approached the main reception.

A bored looking Sergeant was alternately filling in a form and drinking from a ‘DAD’ mug.

After standing at the desk for what felt like an age, Becca coughed lightly, and the Sergeant looked up startled

“Oh sorry Ma’am, I didn’t see you there, what can I do for you?” the man smiled

“Um, I’m not sure of the procedure, but I was wondering if you were recruiting at the moment? She asked hopefully.

The Sergeant looked a bit surprised. “ you don’t strike me as the type, still, yes, we are, I don’t think we ever stop recruiting.” He chuckled

“Let me make a phone call and ill have someone come down and see you, have a seat over there” he gestured to a row of bolted down plastic seats by the wall.

Becca thanked him, and took a seat on the hard plastic.

“Hardling? Yeah… all quiet, one of those days… Got a kid down here who wants to talk to you about getting on the force…. Yeah, ok, ill send her up… Yeah, later…”

Listening to the half a conversation, Becca approached the desk as the Sergeant hung up the receiver and waited expectantly.

“Ok Miss, take the elevator over there” He gestured to the far side of the hall, “And ride up to the 6th, Our recruiting officer will meet you there. Good luck” he smiled.

“Ah, thank you, goodbye” Becca crossed the hall to the elevator, and after waiting for a moment, stepped into the steel box.

As the elevator reached the 6th floor, the knot in Becca’s stomach returned.

As the doors of the Elevator slid smoothly open, Becca was met by a tall matronly looking woman,

“Rebecca Anderson?” the woman asked, extending her hand. “ My name is Detective Hardling, please call me Mary”

Becca shook the police woman’s hand, and followed her to a small office off the main floor.

“Please have a seat Rebecca” Mary said gesturing to a chair in front of her desk, “So, why do you want to join the Portsmouth PD?

“Because I’ve been at the hands of injustice, and I know how it feels to think you’re alone, and that nobody can help you, or will, and I want to have the chance to be there for others who cant help themselves. I want to protect and enforce the laws for honest citizens who have done nothing wrong, and bring those who break laws to their selfish knees.”

Becca felt herself getting flustered; this was something she felt passionate about. Detective Hardling seemed to be smiling at least.

“Your British aren’t you?” The detective asked.

“Yes, well, half, my mother is American, so I hold dual citizenship, so my nationality wont be a problem?”

“of course not, it might have been had you been entirely British, but considering your Resume, I don’t think there will be any issue. We have an academy class beginning in a week’s time, can I sign you up for that?”

"Oh, id assumed that class would be full now, id expected to be stuck in the application process past them..."

"Were down on recruits over recent years" Hardling said almost ruefully, "So we have plenty of space right up to the wire."
Becca couldn’t say yes fast enough.

Returning home later that afternoon, her hand sore from filling in forms, Becca unlocked her apartment door to hear her answering machine bleeping.

Her heart bubbled like a school girl as she pressed the play button, hoping for Tony’s voice.
She didn’t have to wait long.
After several Utilities calls, she heard his voice:

“Hey there, just wanted to say I had a wonderful time last night, I cant believe I’ve found someone so wonderful, I guess this is a first for me, I’m not usually this tongue-tied, but can I see you again? Please? Call me…”

As the message ended, Becca was dialling…

“Denelli”

“hey its me” Becca rolled her eyes at saying ‘me’ one of her little habits, hoping people recognised her voice.

“hey there, I was wondering when you would call, how are you?”

He knew her voice, her tummy flipped happily. “I’m wonderful, I just got accepted to go to the Police Academy I was so worried they wouldn’t want me. How are you?”

“yeah, better now you called, PD huh? That’s a surprise, wow, didn’t figure you for the type, but that’s awesome, congratulations! When can I take you out to celebrate?”

“how about when I graduate?, but I might let you take me out on Thursday… maybe.” Becca grinned and twirled the phone cable around her finger as she spoke.

“you might huh? Well Thursday it is then, hope I don’t inconvenience you milady…”

Becca giggled, “Well then good sir, don’t be late….Bye”

“Bye”

Becca clasped the phone to her breast, god she liked this guy, he made her feel so special, like the only woman in the world.

Was this how life was meant to be?

A tear rolled down Becca’s cheek as she wished that her parents could see her now. The depressed, distant boy that they rejected was long gone. She was a happy, successful, pretty girl, and they would never see that…

Life clearly wasn’t perfect.

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

Chapter 6

Becca sat on her bed with her belongings around her, she had been in the apartment a week, and she was already leaving.

She had seen Tony on Thursday night, and being in his presence had been intoxicating.

She had allowed herself to get closer to him, now that he knew all her secrets. She felt so free being with him, so relaxed and happy. She understood how she felt, but she wasn’t ready to tell him she loved him yet, it was too early in their relationship for such strong words. She didn’t want to scare him off by looking desperate.

A whole 8 months of training and exams lay ahead for Becca; it was all so daunting.
She would show them, she would prove herself…

Becca giggled to herself, pondering her future was so deep, but not a subject to be thinking about when packing underwear.

It still felt strange to be finally getting the job she wanted, after all, this was her first real job since university, she was a grown woman now…

University seemed a distant point in her life… her childhood…. Remembering back to the years when Rebecca first came to be…

She began to drift off into a daydream…

Charlie sat on his bed, reading a novel in his room in the halls of residence.

It was quiet.

He liked quiet, and he preferred to avoid his flatmates for the most part. They were mostly sporty types and big guys, he liked them, but he didn’t want to push his luck hanging around with them too often.
It was hard enough for him to become close to anyone, because they wouldn’t know who he really was.

Any friends he made now, were befriending a lie, he was a lie. He was a she. As cheesy as it sounded in his head, he really was a girl in a boy’s body. Bouncing and rattling around in a misshapen vessel.

He had grown up in a loving family. Well, at least, they loved the shell. They probably suspected he was gay, but he couldn’t allow them to know the truth. It would break their hearts, and he needed their love, at least, the love directed his way, even if it wasn’t for who he was.

Here at university he was free from the pressure of his family, and she could blossom more.

Fate had intervened.

The university Accommodation officials had placed him on a floor with all the sporty boys. As such, the testosterone in the place was sometimes unbearable for Charlie.

He felt like he was back in school, the odd one out, the girl in disguise. The disguise she couldn’t remove…

Charlie began to drift off to revolutionary France and the mysterious ‘L'Homme au Masque de Fer’.

He was brought abruptly back to the real world from his wander in dreamland by a knock at the door.
“Coming”
He glanced at the clock on his nightstand… Five twenty seven. Just past jock face stuffing o clock.

Unlocking the door and opening it a crack, he came face to face with Paul, one of the guys from his floor.

Face to face is a bit of an over generalisation, there was a good foot height difference between the two, Paul standing an impressive 6’6.
“Uh hey man, look, I’ve got a problem, well we, uh,” Andy blushed and looked down the corridor “Hey Danny can you do this? I can’t ask him this man.”
Danny appeared at Charlie’s door moments later, and grinning like an idiot explained;
“Look, what our eloquent neighbour was trying to say was can you do us a favour and come to a party tonight? Its fancy dress you see and we’re doing sports teams.” He stated as if it was the most logical thing in the world.
“ aaaand were one down… we don’t have a tennis player…”

Charlie looked confused for a moment,
“Um, ok, but why cant you use Paul?”

Danny looked at Paul and grinned.
“Well, we are, he needs a partner…”

Charlie didn’t think Paul could have gone any redder if he had tried.

He smelt a rat.
Not a nice white lab rat… not even Pinky and the brain… a huge smelly rat…

“What’s the catch guys?”

He could see Danny working out how to word the next bit most diplomatically…

“Well you’d have to go as a girl, its guys and girls pairs… we have Tom and Annie doing American football. Me and Page doing Footy, James and Megan are doing hockey, I think?” He said looking at Paul for confirmation.
The still beat red Tennis player nodded
“Yep, and Well Paul was going with Tina, but she can’t go… work due in tomorrow, you know…” he tailed off.

The two looked at each other, Paul’s colour returning to near normal, then back at Charlie.

“I, uh, let me think about it ok?”

Charlie closed the door and slid down till he was sitting with his back to the door. His heart rate was racing…

Did they know?
Was this some joke on his part?
Why had they come to him?
They must suspect!

He felt as though a hammer was being beaten against his rib cage. He so very much wanted to accept their offer, but how to do so without looking too keen?

To them, he was a man, and as such, should be outraged by such a suggestion.
But did they see him as a man?
They were men or at least societies ’vision of manliness, sporting Adonis’. What was he?
He was surprised they allowed him to hang out with them at times, he was nothing compared to them,
This suggestion almost confirmed it in his head; they see me as a girl… or at least a sissy boy…small, feminine, unmanly…
“Maybe I should say yes?” he sighed to his empty room.

Slowly, he regained his feet, and made his way to Danny’s room. He knocked, each time, wondering if this was the right thing. The boy opened his door and smiled when he saw Charlie.

“Ill do it” he almost blurted out. “Just don’t make fun of me ok? I know I’m not as big as you guys.” Charlie looked at his feet, feeling himself turning red.

What he didn’t see was Danny’s expression, the young man hadn’t realised what this would suggest to Charlie that they thought of him.

”Hey man,” he said gently. “Look we really need a hand, and you’re a total dude for doing it… you have more balls than any of us to do it…”

Charlie giggled at the irony of that statement. And cut it off realising how girlish he probably sounded.

Looking up he said, “Well ill do it, just don’t rib me for it, and no photos ok?”
Danny grinned and said he would be back with Charlie’s costume.

Charlie wandered into the kitchen and flicked the kettle on and waited for Danny to return.
He was looking forward to this, but had to act like he didn’t like it. Any sign that he enjoyed it could spell doom for him. How easy that would be, he didn’t know.

The door banged open as Danny and Tom came in with a bag and a box of beers.
Handing one of the bottles to Charlie, they dropped the bag on the table before pulling their own beers from the box, and grabbing chairs.

“Right, here’s all the stuff, she threw in some bits to make it look less silly, and it’s not like you need a wig mate.” Danny said, punctuating his gentle dig with a swig from his bottle.

“Come on then, show us what she’s given you man” piped up tom.

“Uh, nah guys ill show you in a moment, ill just go change, ok?”

Tom looked disappointed but shrugged, “ok man, we’ll keep your beer cold.”

Charlie grabbed the bag nervously and disappeared into his room. After shutting the door and making sure it was locked, he put the bag down on his bed and began to go through it.

The first thing was a tennis dress, pretty standard, white, with the little skirt.
Bellow that, was a note, and some underwear
It read:

‘Charlie, thought you might like to borrow this stuff, ill never wear it, so chuck it out when your done, thought it might go with the dress better than boxers and you’ll need someplace for the other things, I wasn’t always so full of myself
Tina x’

Charlie picked up the bra and knickers from the bag. He could see why she wouldn’t wear them, they were probably a gift from some ex, with a creepy taste… all red lace and rather provocative.

“Well, if I’m going to do this, I might as well do it right,” he said to his favorite companion, his room.

Stripping down he stepped into his shower, and began to wash and remove any body hair.
Luckily he’d missed getting most of the more disgusting effects of puberty his floormates sported.

He stepped from the shower clean and fresh, and wrapping a towel around his hair, he walked into his room to face the challenge ahead.

Despite his feelings, this was the first time he had ever dressed as a girl, at least, fully, and people were going to see him. It was a scary prospect.
He slid the disgustingly trampy knickers up his legs and tucked his pitiful excuse for manhood out of sight. The smooth front that greeted him was what he had dreamt of since he was little.

The bra proved a challenge, but fastening it at the front and spinning it seemed to work. Maybe it would come with practice he giggled to himself.

In the bag he found what Tina had meant by ‘full of herself’, a pair of silicone breast forms which seemed to fit the cups of the bra quite snugly.
His hands trembled as he ran his hands over his new contours, or where they her hands at the moment?

This felt so right, so natural; something began to click inside Charlie’s head as she stood there in the room in just her underwear. This was who she was meant to be. Just this simple action of getting dressed seemed to calm her down; her body looking female seemed to fit so well in her head.

Charlie jumped as she realised she had began to think of herself as ‘her’ in her head.

Collecting her thoughts she turned to the Dress on the bed, and after working out it was meant to be pulled over, began to fight her way into it.

After a short and bloodless battle, it was on, and standing before her bathroom mirror, still misty from the steam, she saw the image of a girl. A young, lithe tennis player, she had a cute face and long legs, and a towel encasing her wet hair.

Mindlessly, she pulled it from her head and watched as her damp hair cascaded down to her shoulders.

As she stood there gawping, she began to feel a slight fluttering in her tummy, and felt her knees weaken.
Sitting down on the bed, she felt a tear trickle from her eye. She was alive. This was who she was; she felt it more now than ever. The feelings and confusion of her childhood so far were nothing compared to this.
Here she was, in her university room, in just underwear and a dress, and she felt so comfortable, so right. And looked so much like the girl she had dreamt to be come for years.
There was a knock at the door.
“Hey man, you coming out? Just because you’re dressing like a girl doesn’t mean you have to take for fucking ever dude.”
She got up, whipping the tears from her eyes and approached the door.
She opened it fully and was met by Danny’s shocked expression.

“Holy shit man, you’re a girl.”

Note from ze Author:
Sorry for taking forever guys! Ive had so much college work, and spending a week in the lake district measuring rocks (yes i'm a geographer) has really eaten my time for writing. Anyway, im on spring break now, so ill try to catch up by putting some serious work into this... Ill aim for chapter 7 by friday, and 8 by next monday at minimum!
Sorry again.
Alyssa

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

”Don’t worry. I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

“I believe you.” She whispered, looking into his eyes, feeling almost warm in the chill night air, a squiggly feeling swimming around her stomach.

Chapter 7

Danny’s jaw must have been resting somewhere around his crotch, he was speechless…

Charlie could feel her cheeks turning red as she stood there, realising how silly she must look, at least to them.

Danny seemed to regain his composure, and yelled into the kitchen something Charlie didn’t hear, but moments later, he was joined by the other boys from the floor, all gawping similarly.

Shifting her gaze, she began to fidget uncomfortably under the pressure of their eyes.

“Man, I can’t believe it, this is so freaky.” Tom was shaking his head with a confused, amused half grin on his tight lips.

General muttering broke out amongst the boys, and before jokes and insults could start, Charlie pushed her way past them and disappeared to hide in the kitchen.

She REALLY needed that beer now to calm her nerves.

Paul was the first to return to the kitchen. He was quite sheepish, and clearly uncomfortable.

“I bet you didn’t expect this when you asked huh?” Charlie said grinning nervously.

Paul slumped into a chair and after taking a long swig from his beer, sighed.

“Not really, we figured you might pull it off better than any of us, but not like that. I mean, your just wearing the stuff she gave you, most of us would look like bad cross dressers if we tried that…” he tailed off realising what he was saying.

“I guess you won’t be embraced at the party then?” Charlie ventured. “That was what you were wondering wasn’t it?”

Paul looked away, confirming her suspicions.

”How’s this then” Charlie blurted, very conscious that she was about to go out on a very narrow, weak limb, in a very high wind. “What if I get one of the girls to do makeup on me, and stuff, and I can just go as your date? Call me something else and pretend its not me?”

”You’d do that?”

His eyes gave his relief away.

“Uh, yeah, well you think I want people to know it’s me too?”

It at least made sense to play along for now. Play like she didn’t enjoy this, if she was ‘pretending’ to be a girl, then she could do the things she wanted, act how she wanted, and not raise questions.

Downing the last of her beer, she stood purposefully, and turned to Paul.

”Ill see you later, have a good time tonight ok?”

Paul looked confused and before he could form the words.

”Well, you’re going with Rebecca aren’t you? Charlie said smiling, and left Paul sat confused in the kitchen.

Where was this confidence coming from? Charlie had never been confident, especially around his floor mates, but SHE was...

She shook her head as she climbed the stairs in the hallway up to one of the girls floors where one of her few friends stayed.

Julie was in most of Charlie’s classes, and the two had grown close in an innocent way.
It was her door she was knocking on now, fully aware that she had never raised this subject with Julie.

The door opened to reveal her friend, some unintelligible TV show still playing in the background. She wore a blank ‘can I help you?’ expression.
“Err, yes?”

“Um, Jules, I was wondering if you could help me with a little problem…” Charlie stuttered, once again feeling like an idiot.

Julie’s jaw joined the others that had hit the floor that evening. “Charlie? Is that you? Oh my….”

“It’s for a party” Charlie blurted, knowing this was not the time to tell his friend, even his best friend.
“I need someone to help with makeup and things, I’m clueless…”

Julie just grinned and opened the door wider to her friend

Somewhere in the back of her mind, Charlie knew that Julie knew. They were too close for that. But she would respect her wishes for now. Words were not important.

“So this is your floor mates isn’t it? Some sport nut party I bet, why are you going?” she called over her shoulder while she pulled some things from her bathroom.

“I don’t know, they asked, I wasn’t doing anything, it seems like a laugh” Charlie said shrugging as Julie came back into the room with a handful of cosmetics.
She directed Charlie to her desk chair, and perching on her bed, set to work with brushes and sticks of things that Charlie had very little idea about.

“Werl, I gesh if vey aren’t going to give you problemsh, it cant ‘urt” She mumbled through a mouth of brushes.

Overcome with a wave of guilt at this white lie she was feeding her friend, she began to say something, but was immediately silenced by a marauding tube of something.

Julie stood back and admired her work.

“Not bad. Not bad if I do say so myself.” She grinned. “Its scary how much like a real girl you look…” She said shaking her head slightly.

”Here, take this, and this, oh, and this might help.” She said throwing some bracelets, a necklace, and a small bag into Charlie’s hands.
After popping some essential touch-up items into the bag, she sent her friend packing.

Charlie was still numb from Julie’s comment. ‘Real girl…. You aren’t a real girl’ kept swimming around her head

Would she ever be a real girl? Would she be forever just out of reach?
Fingering the silver chain around her neck, she opened the door to her floor. There was a pre party in full swing in the kitchen at the far end, and she began her walk.

The first person she met was Page, stood in the doorway on her phone in a far from match ready version of the Chelsea football strip. Rebecca smiled at her and entered the kitchen. Feeling emboldened, she walked over to Paul and tapped him on the shoulder before standing back with a hand on her hip.

He turned as he was sipping another beer, and nearly choked.

“Holy crap, uh Rebecca, you’re hot” he said dumbly.

“Well aren’t you one with the Ladies Paul” shot a raven haired Indian girl, grinning like a devil.
“I don’t think I’ve met you… I’m Annie.” she said, extending her hand to Rebecca.

Shaking it nervously, she smiled, “Rebecca, Rebecca Thompson, I’m a friend of Paul’s from class.”

”Nice to meet you.” She smiled.

Page returned to the kitchen announcing that the Taxi’s had arrived, and after making a bee line for her Tennis partner. Rebecca joined the merry crowd heading out of the building.

The way down the stairs, she could feel Paul’s eyes on her. It made her feel special, even if nothing would happen, they could pretend tonight, and she would go back to being Mr Invisible the next day. It wouldn’t happen, so what did it matter?
In the Taxi, she felt her leg against Paul’s. She retracted hers about the same time he did, and the pair shared a nervous glance. This wasn’t an ordinary situation for either of them.

“Cheer up Becca, he might get pissed and pass out” Shot Danny from the other side of Paul.

Those words made her feel so normal, like she was meant to be there. She could be herself now, and let her hair down, metaphorically speaking. In reality, it was up in a playful sporty ponytail, with a few errant strands framing her face.
Julie had artfully accentuated her natural looks, not trampish, not overdone, but elegant, and fresh.

They arrived at the party, taking place at a house off campus. And all made their ways inside.

Music was thumping, and people were drinking and laughing, sports kit was the order of the evening, and Rebecca was hard pressed to not find a sport represented in some form or other.
She couldn’t help but giggle as she saw a pair running around and slamming into each other. One Dressed as a tennis racquet, and the other, a ball.

The party went well, Rebecca and Paul Mingled and circled, and chatted to people they knew, dancing once or twice. Rebecca felt truly comfortable with herself. Happy for once, she was finally letting her guard down. Paul was nice…. It was a pity this was a Cinderella story of sorts she thought.

The two of them had gotten over their shyness, and were acting like a couple. Holding hands, dancing together, even the others hadn’t batted an eyelid at the obvious chemistry developing between the pair.

”Do you want something to drink?” Paul asked, his shyness clearly wearing off.

”That would be nice…” She said smiling up at him

He disappeared into the crowd and left Rebecca alone.

Moments later, Rebecca felt a hand on her shoulder, and turned expecting Paul, She was faced by a rather drunk looking guy in a tracksuit.

“Hey there sweetie, you here with anyone?” he slurred.

”I uh, yes, he just went for drinks…” Rebecca said looking around desperately for any sign of Paul returning.

Pressing her back into the wall, Mr Tracksuit grinned at her and moved forwards opening his lips, before moving backwards rather quickly.

Paul had the guy by his collar and was glaring at him.
“I wus only talking to her man, chill”

“Fuck off Phil, she’s mine…” he growled shoving the guy into the seething mass of bodies.

He turned back to her, his mask of anger melting into one of concern. “Are you ok? Did he hurt you?”

Just barely keeping from hyperventilating, Rebecca just nodded and grimaced.

“You want to get some air?” he said, handing Rebecca a bottle.

Rebecca nodded, and allowed Him to put his arm around her waist and guide her out through the kitchen to some seats in the garden.

“Are you ok now?” He asked, still looking worried.

”I’m fine, he just scared me, that guy was really drunk.” She said taking a sip from her drink.

They sat for a moment in silence, the throb of the party in the background.

”Don’t worry. I’d never let anyone hurt you.”

“I believe you.” She whispered, looking into his eyes, feeling almost warm in the chill night air, a squiggly feeling swimming around her stomach.

“You know, I meant what I said in there…” He tailed off. “I, you know…”

“That I’m yours?” She half whispered, half sighed. As she said it, she felt so silly, she was a boy, pretending to be a girl, she would never be a real girl, he knew that….

He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes, cocking his head slightly,

”Yeah, if you want to be.”

She closed her eyes and parted her lips slightly, she felt his lips brush hers, tentatively, almost asking. She let her mouth open slightly and cocked her head, accepting his kiss. The squigglyness began to magnify, and she felt light headed as he wrapped his other arm around her waist and pulled her to him. Their tongues danced like flickering flames, and arms roamed tentatively.

Rebecca opened her eyes and sighed.
“This is all make-believe…. You know that right?” She said, trying to convince herself that this wasn’t happening, that she wasn’t falling for him. To almost remind him that she wasn’t a real girl.

“You know, after what I’ve seen tonight, and when I kissed you….” He took her hand in his, “I don think it is, do you?”

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

'A slight smile came to her lips as she realised she was on her boyfriends bed where the two of them had just been making out.'

Chapter 8

Charlie awoke the next morning. She was in her room, the party had happened, she could feel the dry, carpety taste in her mouth from a night of alcohol and cigarette smoke.
Swinging her feet out of the bed, she padded to the bathroom to relive herself.
Sitting on the toilet she could see her image reflected in the mirror above the wash basin…
Bedraggled; yes, tired; yes, but she realised she still saw Rebecca staring back at her.
Touching her fingertips to her lip she recalled the kiss. Her very first kiss… and it had been with a boy. A floor mate for god’s sake.
That would lead to problems she thought as she finished her business and wandered out of her room towards the kitchen in search of caffeine.

Walking into the kitchen he was surprised to find Page and Annie sat at the table, chatting over mugs of coffee.

Charlie froze.

“Oh morning, not feeling to hung-over I hope?” Page smiled.

“I uh, no, not really, I didn’t drink that much” Charlie shrugged as she moved to the coffee maker to pour herself a mug of thick black wakeup juice.

“You girls stayed here last night?” She asked casually.

Annie giggled, “Uhuh, looks like someone else has a walk of shame later too… How long have you and Paul been seeing each other?”

Charlie turned bright red. “No no! We’re just friends, I just went as his date because another friend couldn’t make it…”
Page looked confused for a moment.
“But you’re here…. Who did you stay with?”

I stayed in my room… I live here.”

It was Annie’s turn to look confused;

”isn’t this an all guys floor?”

”uhuh” Charlie mumbled as she stretched, suddenly realising how she was dressed, and where things were going, quickly, she dropped her arms. A baggy band tee-shirt and the underwear from the night before wasn’t the most sensible outfit to wander the floor in.

“Now this might sound stupid” Page said slowly, taking a sip from her mug, “But why do you live here then?” arching her eyebrows as if to punctuate the question.
It looked like she was flat out of options.

“Uh, it’s a long story,”

Charlie told them everything. And she was in tears by the time she had finished talking.

Annie moved her chair around the table and pulled Charlie into a hug.

The Dams burst and Charlie sobbed against Annie’s shoulder.

“I promise your secret is safe sweetie” Page soothed. “We honestly had no clue, and you’ll just be Rebecca to us, hell, anyone can see you’re not a boy”

Charlie sniffed and slumped down in her chair.

“I never realised what it would do to me, how I would feel, I just know its right, like when I kissed Paul… something just seemed… right. You know?”

The girls nodded

“What are you going to do now?” Annie said collecting up their mugs to wash.

“Well I guess there’s some music to face somewhere.” I just know I can’t cope with how I was, it feels like a lie… but it’s all I have.”

The girls looked at each other, “Well were taking you shopping” announced Page, “You need clothes girl, can’t run around like a tomboy for ever.”

“You, you’d do that? For me?”

“You’re a sweet girl, and Annie and I really like you. And don’t even think about it, that’s what friends are for right?” Smiled Page,

”Come on, you have someone to talk to, and we need to head home, pick you up about lunchtime? The girls both gave Charlie a hug on their way out as she steeled her nerves to knock on Paul’s door.

“Ugh, here goes nothing” She muttered as she rapped on the door.

There was a loud thump and a “coming!” from inside.

Paul opened the door and was surprised to see her there.

“Uh, Rebecca, um, sorry Charlie, uh, sup?”

“You had it right the first time.” She blushed, “We nee to talk”

“Oh, uh, sure, come in” he said standing aside to let Rebecca into his room. She walked in, and standing with her back to him, she sighed, and tried to find the courage to say the words.

”Look, about last night, I need to know how you feel about this, because, I uh, this has changed things a great deal. I can’t go back” She said as she turned to face him.
“Did you mean it?”
The confusion on Paul’s face melted, and he pulled her to him,
“Of course, every word. I was worried that you would hate me, or avoid me, or what would happen if you had gone back, I, I, I’m not gay.” He stammered.
“But then, you’re not a boy are you? Were you ever?”

”I’m here for you, please know that, I know its only been a day, but I feel something Becca, I need you, and ill kill anyone who tries to harm you. ANYONE”

Becca felt him tighten up as he said those words. And she sobbed quietly into his chest.

Paul lifted Rebecca’s chin up to meet his eyes. “You’re mine”

His lips brushed hers ever so lightly and she willingly accepted his kiss, moving her arms to surround his neck.

Their tongues danced and played and Becca felt her knees going weak.
They sat on the edge of Paul’s bed and began kissing once more, their hands touching each others bodies almost shyly.

Becca felt at peace with the word in Paul’s arms; she felt safe, and happy.

She felt his hand reach to touch her non existent breast and she shied away slightly fearing his reaction to her flatness.

There was none, and she sighed as he lightly rubbed her nipple though the material of the tee-shirt.

Almost unconsciously she felt herself leaning back against the bed and felt Paul coming with her.
Rebecca felt beyond aroused, this was the first time she had ever felt this way, and it was intoxicating, it seemed so natural, so, right.
What Paul was doing to her chest was amazing, and she pushed him off and sat to remove her tee-shirt, leaving her lying there in just her knickers feeling extremely exposed.
She saw a warm smile spread across his lips as he lowered his head to her chest.

Becca felt her breath quicken and warmth spread around her body.
There was a knock at the door, and the pair quickly detangled from each other and Rebecca redressed in her tee and sat cross-legged on the bed.

A slight smile came to her lips as she realised she was on her boyfriends bed where the two of them had just been making out.
Tom and Danny stood at the door, and seeing Rebecca behind Paul made Danny laugh out loud.
“I won, he’s a chick, and they got it on, so pay me bitch”
Danny turned back to Paul still grinning.
“Hey look man, if you’re not too busy were going for a game in the part, you up for it?”

Paul looked back at Rebecca who just smiled and nodded.

”Sure guys. Becca, you coming?” He said turning round again.

Rebecca shook her head, “Nah. Going shopping with Annie and Page, you go have fun.”

The guys bounded off down the corridor and Becca headed back to her room.

Why had nobody made a fuss? They all acted like they knew… or at the very least suspected…
Rebecca vowed to take this opportunity to do something right with her life.

So this was what happiness felt like?

Please remember to post a comment! I really appreciate your feedback!

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

”You really need our help girl; we have to save you before tomboyitis takes a firm hold.”

Chapter 9

Rebecca wondered what she should wear to go shopping with Annie and Page. She had no girls’ clothes, and even if she did, she was unsure about going out in public, as right as she felt.
Donning a pair of androgynous jeans, and a university hoodie, she sat on her bed to wait for the girls.

This had happened so fast; she had been forced to confront the issue, and now it was carrying her along in its wake… decisions making themselves…

She began to wonder what family life would be like, as a girl. She could stop pretending to like sports to please her father, a weight off her shoulders. She prayed that he might love her.

As Rebecca drifted off into a daydream about her father giving her away at her wedding, her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hey love, its us, come down, were outside” came the voice of Annie through her phones speaker.

“Sure, 2 secs” Becca hung up and left the building to begin another leg of the bizarre journey.

As she exited the building, she saw Annie in the passenger seat of Page’s car, a cute little hatchback.

Greeting the girls, she joined them in the car, and before she could even fasten her seatbelt, she had Annie shaking her head melodramatically at her.

”You really need our help girl; we have to save you before tomboyitis takes a firm hold.” She giggled.

”I didn’t have anything else” muttered Rebecca, “And besides, I don’t think I’m comfortable with the idea of being a girl in public yet.”

“Seriously love, nobody sees a boy anyway, even dressed like that, and Annie is right, you so need saving, nobody would see anything but a tomboyish girl hiding her figure under baggy clothes.” Page said locking eyes with Rebecca through the rear-view mirror, “Are you sure you’re a boy physically?” she giggled.

Rebecca felt a tear roll down her cheek and turned to look out the window.

Page hadn’t missed it.

”oh my god, I’m sorry Becca, you know I didn’t mean that like that. I was just trying to be light-hearted, I’m sorry.”

Rebecca didn’t say another word for the rest of the journey.

Arriving at the out of town mall, the girls left the car to conduct some intensive retail therapy.

Rebecca didn’t feel nervous, after all, why should she? She was dressed how she did day in day out. But was page right?
Did people see her as a girl anyway?

Once inside the store, Annie and Page dragged Rebecca into the Lingerie department.

”If were doing this right, we’d best work from the inside outwards…” Said Annie as she flicked through a rack of bras.

“What’s your band size?” Annie looked at Rebecca who shrugged.

Sighing, Annie pulled a tape measure from her. “Page, deal with her” she announced. “Ill go get some of the other essentials.”

Taking her hand, Page dragged Rebecca into the changing rooms.

“Come on then, off with it, I need to measure you” she said impatiently while Becca stood dumbly.

Almost giving in, Rebecca removed her hoodie, and Page slipped the tape around her torso.

”34, brilliant, you’ve got the pick of styles” She said handing Becca her Hoodie back.

“You know, even without b... visible breasts” Page corrected. I still have a hard time believing you were born in a male body…”

“Don’t make me prove it,” Rebecca quipped on their way out, “I don’t think either of us would like that”. She giggled.

The trio blazed through the department stores and boutiques of the mall, and 4 hours later, sat drinking cokes in the food court.

After 20 minutes convincing and bargaining, Rebecca sat in a pair of crá¨me girls’ jeans, and a black fitted blouse, assisted in the chest department by some strategic hosiery.

“See? That wasn’t so hard was it?” Annie asked after taking a sip from her drink.

”I know your scared honey, but trust me, nobody has a clue, and they have even less chance to have a clue now your dressing like a girl too… people see a duck shaped, duck sounding, duck walking, um, duck, and they see a duck….

You look like a girl, considering you’ve never tried, you move like a girl, and you sound like a girl. I doubt any store here has in-house gynaecologists or x-ray cameras… so were safe for now…”

Rebecca sighed, she knew here fear was irrational, but it was all so new, she was sure something had to go wrong soon.
As things were going, the only person who was having a bad day was her bank manager.

“I know Annie, and I cant thank you guys enough, I wouldn’t have had the courage to do this without you, you’re the best friends ever.

Rebecca began to tear up as she smiled broadly at her friends.

Finishing their drinks, the three began to head towards the car when Page spotted a Claire’s Accessories store, and tapping Annie on the shoulder, diverted Rebecca in.

“This love, is on us” The pair announced as they directed Rebecca to the earrings section.

“I don’t have pierced ears guys; I can’t wear any of these….” Becca absent-mindedly announced as she flipped through the racks.

“We have that covered” Page grinned as Annie returned with an Assistant.

10 minutes, and a great deal of noise from Rebecca, she left with a double piercing in each ear lobe.

“Don’t worry Bex; I kicked up a worse fuss when I had mine done….”

“You weren’t 18” Rebecca muttered. She felt somewhat embraced at her performance, but it had been a very big piercing gun…

Linking arms, the 3 left the mall to return to the car.

On the way home, Rebecca couldn’t help but giggle at the thought of the little car scraping along the road with the weight of her shopping.

She had spent over  £600 on clothing and accessories, and it really hadn’t felt like 4 hours either…

Rebecca wondered what damage she could do to her bank balance with a full day.

She was making friends for the first time, and she was accepted for who she was. She could feel herself floating on an emotional high.

Rebecca’s tummy did flips as she imagined what Paul was doing right now.
Probably eating, drinking, or playing video games with the guys she guessed, it would be nice to imagine he was thinking of her though.

Clouds began to drift across Rebecca’s sunshine as she thought of her parents.

Would they accept her like this? They had known she was horribly depressed in her teens, but could they accept this as why? Would they try to convince her she was still depressed? Or delusional?

What scared Rebecca the most was that she didn’t know what they would think? It scared her that she so blatantly didn’t know her parents. Almost as bad as them not knowing HER.

As the car pulled into the grounds of the Hall of residence, Rebecca was roused from her mental conflict.

As they carried the small mountain of bags up to Rebecca’s floor, she passed Danny on the stairway.

Danny raised his eyebrows when he saw her

“You just proved beyond a doubt that you’re a woman Becca…. No man could buy that much crap so fast”

Rebecca grinned up at her floor mate/

”I had a lot of catching up to do, and I had help of course….” She giggled jerking her head in the direction of Annie and Page.

Danny threw his hands up in surrender, “I give up! I don’t get you women.”

“Is pa…” Becca began before Danny broke out laughing.

“Oh yeah, he’s in his room, he’s been pining about you all afternoon. And don’t worry, he’s talked to us all, we know the score, and were cool with it, were on your side ok? I am sort of to blame…” he admitted sheepishly as he took some bags from Rebecca.
“No you didn’t Danny, you just catalysed things” She admitted shaking her head.

“It would have happened with or without you guys,” she sighed, “It’s not over yet though, this was just the beginning.”

“of your shopping?” he grinned

“no, dealing with the fallout of coming out…” she sighed. “I am glad that you guys are ok with it, I really worried that you would all hate me for it.”

“Why? You’re our friend, and we aren’t stupid, were at university, if we had closed minds, we wouldn’t have lasted here….” Danny said as he dumped the bags onto Rebecca’s bed.

“See you later lass” he called as he left the room. “Oh, lost puppy incoming” he laughed.

Rebecca spun around to see Paul stick his head around the door.

“Wow you girls were busy, god Rebecca, you look amazing.” He gasped.

“What? This old thing?” she giggled plucking at her blouse. “Glad my efforts are appreciated” she giggled as she snuggled into his arms.

“EHEM” Page cleared her throat.

”Could you two lovebirds keep off each other for a moment?

Rebecca looked back over her shoulder without detaching from Paul’s embrace,

”like I said to Danny, I have a lot of catching up to do” She giggled.

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

“Ah fair enough” She smiled. “I guess all boys’ school must have been hard.”

Charlie stopped walking and looked at Sarah panic stricken.
“Hang on; I thought you thought that….”

Chapter 10

Rebecca woke almost instantly. It was the sort of waking that occurred once your body had spent enough time resting, and the power automatically tripped back on, not the groggy awakening that occurred due to nasty things, like alarm clocks.

She looked around her room. The hazy morning sun was breaking though the cracks in the curtains, casting beams of light across the room.

Rebecca sighed at nothing in particular, a most contented sound.

Slipping out of bed, and sitting up, Rebecca rubbed her eyes and pulled her fringe out of her vision.

She had class today, several, and a seminar group meeting. It looked like it was time to return to being Charlie.

With a heavy heart, Rebecca pushed herself to the back of her mind. This was going to be hard

Half an hour later, Charlie found himself stood at the bus stop. It felt so strange to be a boy again. Surely that was weird? He mused.

If anything, he felt like this was truly the act, a fact emphasised by having to constantly check that he didn’t lapse back into more feminine mannerisms.

Stepping off the bus at the university was the first time Charlie felt nervous, a sea of people, itself a nameless faceless mass, but how could he hide things from his classmates? His lecturers? God, the university? How would they treat him?

Considering things for a moment, Charlie pulled out his mobile, and made an appointment with the University doctor. At the very least, it was time to face facts.

He would begin the process, and then deal with things when he was forced to. At least it was a stay of execution, perhaps when he started to look more feminine, he could deal with the process of coming out.

As normal, Charlie took his place towards the rear of the lecture theatre for his first class, ignoring his classmates. Being alone solved problems. He didn’t have to explain to more friends and acquaintances if he was a ghost.

4 hours of lectures later, and nothing untoward happening, Charlie made his way through the sea of human traffic to the building that hosted to his Seminar class.

Once seated in the room with around 20 other students, the class leader, Professor Elegy silenced them.

“Ok class, today were going to do group work on presentations, the subjects you can decide, but i want a good 10 minute presentation at the end of it…” he enthused.

The room descended into mayhem as people shuffled around the room to find people to work with.

“So much for a low profile” Charlie muttered to himself as he wandered over to a group of 3 girls and a boy.

“Um hi, can I join you guys? I don’t have a group” he timidly asked.

“Hey sure, pull up a chair” Smiled a slightly chubby blonde girl.

”I’m Sarah, this is Amy, Hannah, and our lone ranger is Toby.” She beamed.

This girl has far too much energy, Charlie thought. Ah well, at least I wont have to do much speaking in the presentation.

“Charlie.” He replied softly

As the group got down to work, Charlie began to open up. The people he was with weren’t so bad. Maybe some friends couldn’t hurt?

The group had decided to present a piece about popular music through the ages.

Before long, Charlie forgot how he was meant to be acting, and slowly slipped back to more feminine body language and speech patters that almost seemed natural now.

“So” announced Hannah with a finality. “Us girls will do the first 4 sections, and you can sum up Toby, how’s that work?”

Charlie did a double take. Surely they didn’t think he was a girl too? The conflict in his heart hurt. He so wanted to accept the words. But could he? It could have been a slip of the tongue he reasoned.

General mutterings of agreement circled the group, and they waited their turn to present their subject.

“Ok girls, you’re next” Announced Professor Elegy “Oh dear, Girls and boy. Sorry Toby” He corrected.

Toby blushed as the as mattering of laughter emanated from the room.

Nobody noticed Charlie blushing furiously too.

After the class, Charlie was walking out with the group chatting to the bubbly Sarah. As they crossed the road, Charlie spotted Paul walking on the opposite side of the road.

Almost at that moment he looked across and caught her eye and smiled and waved as he walked.

Charlie Sighed and waved back.

Sarah spotted the silly little grin on Charlie’s face and smiled broadly.

“Your boyfriend?”

Thinking for a moment about the class, Charlie threw caution to the wind. “Yeah, I guess he is.”

“You guess?” Sarah asked, her eyebrows rising.

“Uhuh, we only just got together, I’m still a bit new to the whole relationships thing.”

“Really? You never dated in school?” Sarah questioned, obviously looking for a reason more than confirmation.

“Uh, yeah, I was at a single sex school” Charlie replied, hoping that it would do. Well it was true she guessed, just the wrong sex.

“Ah fair enough” She smiled. “I guess all boys’ school must have been hard.”

Charlie stopped walking and looked at Sarah panic stricken.
“Hang on; I thought you thought that….”

“Relax honey” Sarah said putting her arm around Charlie and guiding her on.
“It was guesswork mostly” plus id noticed you in class once or twice. Mainly because you’re too pretty to be a boy, something I only found out when I saw the student profile photos in the office. Plus with the way you were acting today, it wasn’t like a gay guy, so I figured you were transitioning or something?”

“Well yeah, I am I guess” Charlie whispered shyly. “How do you know about trans….” Her own eyebrows rising towards her scalp.

“I had an ex back in school who became a girl, but she wasn’t as pretty as you. How long have you been on hormones? It must be horrid hiding as a boy, well ish” she giggled.

“I, uh, I’m not.” Charlie stammered.

“Wow really?” god, you look just like any other girl, except you’re a little flat up here” she said, gesturing at her bosom.

Charlie giggled. “Yeah, I can’t really help that at the moment”

“So are you going to start coming to class dressed a bit more normal?” Sarah asked.

“Um, it’s a bit soon I think, I’m still a bit worried what everyone thinks or would think…” Charlie sighed.

Sarah stopped and placing both her hands on Charlie’s shoulders, she said; “Look sweetie, you do realise half the class think you’re a tomboy and the other half, a lesbian…. So dressing a bit more girly wont make them think anything…”

Charlie was stunned.

“I, uh, i…. really?”

Sarah nodded.

“Oh” was all Charlie could manage to say in reply.

All this time, she had wondered what her classmates would think, when in reality, they already assumed….

“I guess ill make more of an effort tomorrow then.” Charlie smiled. “Ah this is me” She said pointing at the residence hall. “I guess ill see you tomorrow?”

“Ya” Sarah grinned, giving Charlie a hug. “Meet you here at like, 9.40 and we can walk down?”

”Id like that” Charlie smiled.

Waving, she turned and walked into the building, a broad grin fixed to her face.

Bouncing into her room, she stripped off the tee-shirt and jeans, and dove into her wardrobe.

Fifteen minutes later, she emerged in a pink camisole, denim ripped miniskirt, black ankle leggings, and ballet flats, her hair pulled into a bouncy ponytail.

Slowly she climbed the stairs to Julie’s floor and knocked on her door.

Julie’s eyes went wide as she opened the door. “I guess its time we had a talk huh girl friend?”

An hour later, the two friends sat hugging and crying on Julie’s bed.

“You know, I always wondered.” She said between sniffs.
“UGH” Grumbled Rebecca.

“did anyone ever think I was a boy?” she giggled.

“I thought you didn’t want to be one missy?” smiled Julie.
“That madam, is not the point” Rebecca grinned dodging a swipe from Julie.

Julie’s face got serious for a moment.

”Have you figured out what your going to say to your mum and dad?”

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

Chapter 11

It was a quarter to ten the next day as Rebecca made her way out of the Hall of Residence and headed for the main road. It felt oddly relaxing that she was here finally going to be herself.

She wondered if Sarah had been kidding about her classmates all thinking her a girl already.

Nervously, she tugged at the hem of her skirt, suddenly alarmingly aware of the brevity of it, and the reality of her situation.

This wasn’t a party, it wasn’t a bet, or even the trip to the mall. This was reality. This had consequences and reactions; she would be accountable for once.

At the back of the fear however, she felt a warm feeling. She felt complete, herself finally. It seemed so clichéd she thought, giggling to herself.

She had dressed to blend in today; wearing what was unofficially a girls’ uniform for their university. Her denim miniskirt with leggings; providing much needed warmth in the morning chill, topped off with a grey university sweatshirt. Simple, yet invisible. She had spent forever wondering what to wear to not look like a transsexual, that her clothing could out her by making an error.

There was a niggling feeling in the back of her mind that told her someone would know; someone couldn’t be fooled by her attempts. After all, she was a boy wasn’t she? Physically at least she knew she was male, granted not a very good example of it. But surely a male body couldn’t look like a girl?

Conflict wracked her brain as she considered weather she was allowed to enjoy being a girl, being herself?

A happy voice snapped her out of her thought as Sarah bounded up behind her.

“Morning! Wow you’re looking much better this morning!” she beamed.

Rebecca smiled as they set off walking side by side.

“Thanks, I’m still fairly scared though.” She whispered.

“Oh don’t be love” Sarah admonished. “I swear, if I didn’t know, I couldn’t tell, and if anyone would tell you I would, now stop being scared you silly goose”

Rebecca shrugged her shoulders and grinned sheepishly.

”Well I guess it’s still taking getting used to.”

“So you’re sticking with Charlie?” Sarah asked, lowering her voice.

“Hrm, no,” Rebecca decided. “My name’s Rebecca” She smiled, remembering where the name came from.

“Coolness” Beamed Sarah. “Well most people don’t know your name; just say Charlotte was your middle name.”

Arriving outside the department, Rebecca froze with fear in front of the door.

Sarah caught her and led her over to a bench near the entrance.

“I know this is scary honey, ok? But believe me, it’s a none-issue to them. You’re just confirming what they already believe.” She whispered hugging Rebecca tightly.

“I, I don’t know, it just seems so big, I can’t go back after this, not that I want to.” She quickly stated,

”It will just be real, and I’m scared of change, its all been so fast. But I’m so excited, and want this. Its so confusing.” She sighed.

The two girls hugged till Sarah reminded them they had a class, and shaking, she led Rebecca into the building and down to their Lecture hall.

Walking into the room, Rebecca felt like she was going to be sick, but very few people actually looked at her.

Sarah pulled her onto a row of seats and up to a group of girls chatting away merrily.

“Hey guys, this is Becca.” She announced collapsing down onto a seat.

Mutterings of greeting were exchanged and before long, Rebecca was surrounded by other girls from her class, none of whom seemed to notice anything out of order.

By the End of the first class, Rebecca had almost forgotten her past. Nobody cared, or noticed. And that normality finally grounded her. This was what she was missing?

People smiled at her, talked to her, and treated her like a human being.

The world seemed to blur around Rebecca as she realised that she was happy. That she hadn’t been before. It was a shock to her system.

“Come on dozy”

Rebecca snapped out of her trance.

“Come on” Sarah giggled, “Were going for coffee before the next class, better than hanging around here”

Rebecca shrugged and followed Sarah and her friends.

As they walked, Rebecca heard running behind them and felt a hand on her shoulder before she could turn.

“Heya” Panted Paul.

”I saw you walking and hoped you didn’t have a class next?” He smiled at Rebecca.

Sarah and her friends automatically pulled back giving the two some space.

“Not really, I was just heading to the union for coffee with my friends, you want to come?” she asked, then looked back at Sarah;
“Its ok if Paul comes isn’t it?” she questioned.

“Sure, more the merrier! We couldn’t have you sulking alone” she laughed.

Rebecca beamed and felt her tummy doing flip flops. She liked being around Paul, he was so sweet and kind and utterly gorgeous. She felt lucky to be his girlfriend.

After brief introductions, the group headed off to the union building to waste away the hours before their next class.

Once they had collected their drinks, the gang found a small seating area, and Rebecca joined Paul on one of the sofas; curling up next to him with his arm around her.

She felt so safe, so, happy. Sipping her Cappuccino, she glanced across at Sarah who was grinning at her shaking her head.

Rebecca raised her eyebrows and smiled. It felt good to have friends.

Somehow she knew the days of whiling away the time between classes in a computer room somewhere, or wandering the campus with her mp3 player were melting away.

She didn’t feel inclined to stop them either.

“Rebecca”

Becca snapped out of yet another trance hearing her name. It was Jenny, one of Sarah’s friends.

“So why the big change?”

Rebecca’s blood ran cold, did she know?

“Um, I don’t know what you mean” She stuttered, looking to Sarah for help, who just grinned and sipped her drink.

She would get her later.

“Well one day you’re dressing like a boy, and being all antisocial, and now you’ve become all girly overnight, what’s the deal?”

Rebecca felt a wave of relief wash over her, this she could handle.

“I don’t know what I was thinking quite honestly. I was really shy and was s unsure of myself.

I guess you can say my meeting Paul changed my outlook on things…” she grinned.

Jenny smiled. “Well it’s sure an improvement, plus it’s destroyed the rumours that you were gay or something.” She giggled.

“I can confirm she is NOT gay” Paul grinned dodging a playful slap from Rebecca

“Did many people think that?” asked Rebecca

“Jenny nodded. “That or you were a girl who wanted to be a boy”

Rebecca grinned inwardly at that one.

“We all make mistakes,” she mused out loud, “I’m just glad I found myself as it were.”

“Are you two coming to the end of year ball?” Amy asked.

“Are we?” Paul asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Hmm, I think so, I hadn’t planed to, to be honest, but I think we might, if you want to?” Rebecca replied.

“God their acting like a married couple already” Sarah groaned.

“Are you going to start answering for each other next?” she laughed as she ducked the newspaper Rebecca launched at her.

“Oh crap, look at the time” Amy announced. “We have hst242 in 10 minutes”

“Ugh I hate Tomkins; he drones on and on and never puts his lectures online.” Jenny grumbled.

The group extracted themselves from the coffee shop and began to walk over to the lecture theatre.

Paul deliberately slowed Rebecca down as they were walking and quietly asked her about the ball.

“You sure you’re ok with going? We don’t have to if it’s too much for you.”

“No, id love to go, its something I always dreamed of.” She replied.

“I definitely think it would be fun. Plus you’d look cute in a tux” she giggled.

“Well having you on my arm won’t hurt my reputation” Paul grinned.

“Oh, is that all I am to you? Eye candy?” she said trying to look hurt.

It didn’t work, but it did win her a rather public and very passionate kiss which answered her question.

The two parted and Rebecca caught up with her friends to continue the strange new experience of normal life.

Please comment! thier really helpful and i love reading your views.
Alyssa

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

'Sat on her bed in her underwear, Rebecca stared at her dress on its hanger.

Was this something she was prepared to do? She knew she wanted to, but could she compete against the real girls? Would anyone notice? '

Chapter 12

Part one — Prelude to the Ball

Rebecca woke slowly; drowsily becoming aware of her surroundings.

Had it been a month already?

She gazed lazily around the bedroom, not wanting to move and admit to the world that she had woken; around her she saw the little changes in her life that had occurred:

The vanity; makeup scattered across its surface, the little feminine trinkets that littered her personal possessions...

The ball dress that was hanging on her wardrobe; its silken material glittering in the morning sunlight.

She looked towards her bedroom wall, the photographs, the nights out, her and Paul, her and friends, a documentation of happiness.

Sitting up in bed, she felt the tears roll down her cheeks.

Shaking her head with a slight giggle, she dried her eyes; these hormones were playing with her body something chronic.

It was an amazing feeling, every day that passed; she felt more like one person. More like herself, that emerging little girl within her.

Looking down, prodded the slight bulges on her chest, tender, itchy, but still breast, her very own breasts.

“My left breast” she muttered as she felt the swelling bellow her nipple, “and my right breast” repeating the action.

That little actualization made her feel good. She was growing up. Growing into a woman.

Stretching, Rebecca crawled out of bed to find a source of caffeine that would permit her to begin the day. She would need it, today was going to be a long day.

Three classes followed by an appointment at a nearby salon for a pampering session before the ball that evening. The very thought of being on Paul’s arm made her feel gooey inside.

40 minutes later, Rebecca was on her way to class.

The sun was shining, and she felt so alive that morning. Nobody who met her would have recognised the dismal withdrawn person she had been.

The world seemed so vibrant in her eyes; smells so vibrant, colours so rich. Rebecca didn’t know if it was the hormones, or just feeling alive for the first time in her life.

Her joyous reflective mood was dampened when she arrived at her class. The gorgeous day was hidden away behind darkened rooms and PowerPoint projections. The tedium of class soon killed off any enthusiasm that had been present in the students previously.

As much as she knew she shouldn’t, every five minutes she was checking the clock.

Chewing her pen, her head on her hand she absent mindedly watched the screen, and daydreamed. Time would pass, it was inevitable.

Several hours later, she was released from the dark prison with her fellow students.

Spotting Sarah, Jenny and Amy in the crowd, Rebecca made her way through the sea of bodies towards her friends.

“Heya guys” she beamed.

“You’re in a bloody good mood, did our coursework get canceled?” Smiled Sarah

“Nupe, I just feel really good today. And I can’t stop dreaming about tonight! We going then?”

“Sure, sure” Sarah laughed, “Let’s get sexy ladies!” and arm in arm the group left the campus and headed into town.

The troop descended on ‘Les Mademoiselles Maginfiqué’ like Locust to a crop field, and soon all 4 girls were being attended to.

“Hi, I’m your stylist today! My name’s Megan! What can we do for you today?” Gushed the bubbly Hairdresser that had come to assist Rebecca.

”Well, id like something done with this” Becca Mused, running her fingers through her mousy hair, “And my nails and face done please”

“Awesome, we can do that” Replied Megan standing behind her chair.

”What can you see yourself wanting with your hair?” she chirruped fiddling with Rebecca’s mane.

Rebecca could see the funny look on Megan’s face as she saw the split ends and length.

“How long has it been?” she asked Rebecca through the mirror.

“Uh, I was sort of a tomboy, I never got my hair cut” Rebecca admitted.

“Thank god you came to us now! We may save you yet!” Beamed Megan clearly pleased to have a willing clean slate to work on.

As Megan began to work on her hair, Rebecca slipped into a daze, minutes blurring into each other. Eventually, she felt a light hand shaking her shoulder and she rose from her slumber.

Sleepily, Rebecca looked into the mirror at her reflection. Was that her?

“Is that me?” she asked a beaming Megan dumbly.

“Uhuh sweetie, you’ve been out for a while” She giggled

“Its cool I get like that when I get pampered too”

Rebecca could only nod; the girl in the mirror had a gorgeous razor cut, layered mane that fell down to lightly caress her shoulders, and a jagged fringe diagonally covering half of her right eye. Blonde highlights reflecting the light. Her makeup was sexy and subtle. Deep dark eyes, and full pouting lips, just a hint of colour oh her high cheekbones.

The girl reached up and touched her hair with deep black talons. The girl looked like she had fallen face first out of a fashion magazine.

“Wow, thank you” was all she could manage, and finally breaking contact with herself, she looked to her sides, at her friends, similarly gorgeous.
Once they had finished, the four friends paid their bills and met in the lobby of the salon; all 4 were similarly speechless…

As they walked back through town, Rebecca was conscious that every male eye gave her a good undressing, not once, but twice in most cases. She knew how she looked, but she was still terrified that their glances were realizing she was a boy underneath it all.

Sarah could see her friend’s anxiety and reached to take her hand.

Rebecca looked at Sarah, and her hand, then took it smiling a thank you. She was privileged to have someone like Sarah around for her.

Arriving back at the halls, the four parted, and went their separate ways, vowing to meet up later at the ball.

Rebecca headed inside to her floor to wait and get ready.

Sat on her bed in her underwear, Rebecca stared at her dress on its hanger.

Was this something she was prepared to do? She knew she wanted to, but could she compete against the real girls? Would anyone notice?

This would be the longest she had been with any of the others in her class; most of whom still remained nameless to her.

There was only one reason she would go tonight, and he was down the hall.

Shrugging a tee-shirt on and a pair of shorts, she left her room to find Paul. His room door was ajar, so she went to the kitchen where she found him sitting at the table with a coffee.

“Hey” she half whispered as she padded up behind him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Well hello” He smiled turning.

“Wow Becca.” He sat, mouth a gape.

“You like? She smiled twirling.

“God, wow, seriously, you look amazing, wow, uh, wow….” He tailed off.

Taking the opportunity to plonk herself down on his lap, she wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled into his chest.

He started to open his mouth to speak, when Rebecca put her finger to his lips and hushed him;

”Now if you’re going to go ‘wow oh my god’ again, ill have to tickle you” she mock scolded.

“Actually, I was going to say how proud I am of you, and how good it’s going to be to have the sexiest girl there tonight on my arm.” He smiled, leaning forwards and kissing Rebecca on the lips.

The tentative peck quickly turned into a more urgent lip lock which Becca forced herself with a heavy heart to break off, before she ruined her makeup further.

”Save it for later, ok?” she smiled.

”Later, if you want, I’m yours.” She whispered huskily staring into his eyes.

Rebecca watched Paul’s face go through a transition from confusion, to excitement, then back to confusion;

“Are you sure?” he asked, “I mean, are you ok with it? I mean, this is just because you want to… Isn’t it? Not because you feel you have to?” he spluttered.

Placing her finger on his lips once more she smiled.

“Yes, I love you Paul, Later; I want us to share that next level, ok?” she said smiling.

As she sat there, she felt a hardening beneath her and leapt off Paul’s lap.

”I said later buster…. Pass the memo on to the front lines ok?” She giggled, skipping off laughing as Paul turned Red.

This is part one of a two part chapter today. I felt it deserved breaking up, but still retained the need to be a single chapter. Part two, slightly longer, will be available this afternoon/evening. Enjoy! and please, remember to comment!

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

'Tonight felt weird. She couldn’t put a finger on it. It wasn’t the weather, anything that had happened; she just felt nervous.

Sighing, she realised it was just her stupid fear of being seen as a boy cropping up once more. Stupid irrational, senseless, fear... She kicked herself mentally.'

Chapter 12

Part Two — A night to remember.

“Well, you look amazing” Jules commented as she zipped the back of Rebecca’s dress up.

Becca had found the dress in a sale at a small boutique in town; it was black, and floor length, with thin spaghetti straps, and a fitted bodice. Simple elegance…

”Come on then, do a twirl for me sweetie.”

Rebecca slowly rotated around, watching anxiously for Julie’s reaction.

“Any good?” she asked nervously.

“Love, your smoking, there’s more chance that you will come out to your parents tonight, than there is of anyone realising your little defect sweetie” She replied softly hugging Rebecca.

“Knock em dead girl” She smiled crushing her friend to her.

Rebecca walked out of her room with Julie, and locking the door, went to knock on Paul’s door, the nerves from that first morning that she visited this room returned. Julie smiled and gave her a thumbs up as she left the flat.

Paul opened the door, looking so dreamy in his black tuxedo and bow tie.

‘God he’s sexy…’ Rebecca mused to herself.

“Wow you look even better than before!” he exclaimed.

“Wow, that dress is SO good on you!”

Rebecca beamed and twirled for him

“God I could eat you alive” he groaned.

“Hey save that for later” she giggled winking and taking his hand, dragging him out of the room.

Outside, their taxi was waiting, and the two climbed in to head to the ball.

As they drove through town, Rebecca reflected on how things had been, how she ended up here and now. A shiver ran down her spine, causing her to pull her shawl tight around her shoulders.

Tonight felt weird. She couldn’t put a finger on it. It wasn’t the weather, anything that had happened; she just felt nervous.

Sighing, she realised it was just her stupid fear of being seen as a boy cropping up once more. Stupid irrational, senseless, fear... She kicked herself mentally.

The Taxi pulled up outside the Hotel that was hosting the event, and Paul, having paid the taxi driver, jumped out to open Rebecca’s door for her; assisting his lady to her feet.

Arm in arm, the couple walked up the stairs to the hotel lobby. Rebecca felt majestic on Paul’s arm, like a princess. She knew she would remember tonight forever.

A waitress approached the pair with a tray of champagne glasses, which they gladly accepted.

Rebecca spotted Sarah and Amy across the room, and waved to the pair and their dates. Both girls returned the wave, and steered their partners in Paul and Rebecca’s direction.

“Hey guys” Rebecca smiled, “Are you going to introduce us?”

“This is Mark, my boyfriend beamed Sarah happily, and this,” she gestured to Amy’s date, is her brother Toby.

“Looking to go on the pull then Ames?” Rebecca grinned.

“Not while I’m still sober enough to beat whichever toe rag she tries to….” Grinned Toby; earning himself an elbow to the ribs.

“Siblings eh?” grinned Sarah.

“Come on guys, lets go, the meal is about to start” Amy chimed in.

The 6 joined the others making their way into the dining room.

Rebecca was overawed at the splendour of the room, chandeliers glistened, and silver sparkled in the candle lit room.

Finding their allotted Table, Paul held Rebecca’s chair for her, a move that put Mark in Sarah’s bad books.

The chatter at the table died down as the Starters were brought out, and the classical ensemble struck up a piece by Chopin.

The group chatted lightly throughout the meal, discussing everything from their course work, to home lives. Rebecca felt a pang of guilt at that topic, and had to avoid most of the questions when they were directed at her.

As the meal ended, the group rose, and the girls excused themselves to make use of the facilities.

Once inside, Rebecca went to check her makeup, a gaggle of girls entered behind them. And one girl, Marisa Jenkins stopped dead.

“I want you out of here” she hissed at Rebecca.

“Wha?” Rebecca turned to face her, feeling the blood drain from her face.

“You know what I mean you… you little gender bender, I’m not sharing this bathroom with you or any of your other girlyboy kind…. Get out!”

Just then, Sarah joined Rebecca at the sinks.

”Leave her alone Marisa, she’s done nothing to you” Spat Sarah with venom that Rebecca didn’t know she possessed.

“NO I WONT” screamed Marisa.
“GET OUT, you aren’t a girl, you don’t belong in here, I don’t want you perving on me freak!” she screeched.

Feeling tears coming, Rebecca pushed past her and out of the toilets, and ran into Lobby to find Paul, hearing laughter and shouting behind her.

Running into his arms she sobbed.

“What’s wrong sweetie?” he asked her, concern written on his face.

“Marisa” she sobbed, “Marissa knows about me, she’s going to tell everyone” she said, her voice cracking as she cried.

“Hush baby, nobodies gonna hurt you ok? I’m here; I’m yours no matter what. Fuck them.” He whispered into her ear.

Lifting her face to his, he whispered again, “FUCK THEM, you hear?”

Rebecca nodded softly, sadness engrained on her face.

“Now fix yourself up ok? Come on, over here, use the ladies down here, ill stop anyone else following you to cause trouble ok?” he soothed as he led her down the lobby to a different set of toilets.

Sarah came running out of the Toilets then, and spotting Paul guarding the door, ran over to him.

“Where is she? Is she ok?” she asked anxiously.

“She’s ok I hope, she’s just fixing her face, she’s been crying, what the fuck did that girl do to her?” he hissed through clenched teeth.

Sarah retold the story from the bathroom.

Marisa fully intended to tell everyone about Rebecca, vindictive backstabbing bitch that she was.

Sarah slowly slid into the toilets, and found Rebecca slumped on the floor, sitting staring into space.

“You ok sweetie?” she soothed as she knelt down beside her, wrapping the girl in her arms.

Rebecca sobbed again into her arm.

“Come on honey, let’s fix your face and help you enjoy the party. They can’t spoil it for you. Not everyone is like her; I bet most people hate HER for it….”

Rebecca nodded sadly and got to her feet.
Shakily, she repaired her makeup, and turned to Sarah.

”I, I don’t know if I can go back out there.” She said blankly. Her eyes almost glazed over.

“Yes you can, and have to, or she will have won.”

Just then, Amy and Jenny came into the bathroom.

“Oh guys I’m sorry” Rebecca wailed, “I lied to you, I’m sorry”

“Are you a boy or a girl Rebecca?” Amy asked.

“I’m, I am a girl.” Rebecca announced, with resolve she didn’t know she possessed.

Amy looked at Jenny; “Well then, what’s the bloody fuss love?” She smiled hugging Rebecca.

“We really don’t care, Jenny said smiling. “You are a girl, trust us, we know one when we see one!”

Rebecca started to feel less lost. Her friends supported her, surely others would too? Maybe they were right. She had to stand up for herself, or be trampled in the process.

“I’m ready to go back out.” She announced more to herself than the others.

“You sure?” Sarah asked,

“Not really, but hell, I wont ever be” Rebecca grinned nervously.

The 4 headed out of the toilet to meet Paul, still playing guard dog by the door.

His expression of anger softened to one of concern.

“Are you ok? He asked, reaching for Rebecca’s hand.

She nodded, still pale, but resolute.

The 5 headed back out to the Lobby, and entered the now thumping ballroom to join the others and resume the party.

One or two looked at Rebecca, she felt it was many more.

Mark and Toby rejoined the group, and pledged their support for Rebecca.

She glanced across the room to see Marisa and her cronies laughing and staring at her, whispering to one another.

Seconds later, Rebecca heard a cough behind her.

“Excuse me, um sir, um miss.” Muttered a rather confused looking Hotel manager.

”It’s been brought to the attention of the hotel that you’re a cross dresser using the ladies toilets. We must ask you to use the men’s room, or if you ask us, the disabled toilet. We have standards here.” He announced with increasing pompousness.

Rebecca stood gawping at him. She snapped out of her trance as Marisa and her cronies and their boyfriends pushed rudely past muttering things like ‘shemale’ and ‘tranny’ at her.

“Sir, I must confirm you understand this rule.” The manager pushed.

The man didn’t see Paul’s fist come out of nowhere.

“Who the fuck do you think you are you asshole?” he yelled at the manager.

“Leave my girlfriend alone, how dare you come in here insulting her like that!” he seethed.

The man got to his feet holding his jaw and glared at Paul

“Get out, and take your boyfriend with you” he sneered at Paul and with a disgusted look at Rebecca, he turned and left.

The gang exchanged looks, and they prepared to all leave.

“Guys seriously, stay, finish the night. We’ll just go; we don’t want to stay here anyway.” Rebecca said to Sarah and the gang.

“This is totally not fair!” Sarah growled. “I Swear, I’m telling my dad about this guy, he’s a lawyer and will sue his ass for gender discrimination!”

“Leave it Sarah” Rebecca begged. “I just want to forget this now”

Tugging Paul’s arm, the two exited the hotel and began to walk down the Drive towards the main road to hail a taxi.

About halfway down the drive, Rebecca felt a huge force knock Paul from her.

She tried to scream, but as before she could she was grabbed roughly around the arms by a large body.
She could see Paul on the floor, being kicked by two large boys. Boys she recognised from her class, the dates of Marisa and Karen. She felt herself being turned. And came face to face with Marisa Jenkins;

“You fucking shemale slag” screeched Marisa, punching Rebecca in the tummy.

She wanted to double over to regain her breath, but she was pinned upright, and the blows continued until she blacked out from the pain.

The last thing she remembered was crying out Paul’s name.

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

Chapter 13

*Bleep bleep*

*Bleep bleep*

*Bleep bleep*

The first thing that Rebecca noticed was her hearing, swirling back into function. What was that sound?

*Bleep bleep*

*Bleep bleep*

Was she dead? Where the hell was she?

Everything seemed so white, so barren….

Ceiling tiles, that was it, and neon lights, it was noisy beyond the annoying bleeping. Rebecca felt like she had woken up in Piccadilly Station.

Rebecca blinked twice, trying to clear her vision. Her other senses began to swim back into her control.

Hospital?

It hit her like a train. It was dark, fists, angry voices. Oh god, it wasn’t a dream.

She felt the ears welling in her eyes, and sliding out of the corners of her eyes as she lay there.

Where was Paul?

Fear washed over her as she tried to sit up in the bed.

Immediately the pain made her scream out and fall back. She had just started pulling at the drip on her arm as a nurse burst through the doors.

“Stay still love, you’re in hospital, Shush, its ok.” She soothed as she held a sobbing, struggling Rebecca.

As Rebecca’s sobbing slowed to infrequent shudders. The nurse moved to lower her to the bed.

”You have to rest dear; you’ve been through a lot.”

“W… Wha” Rebecca croaked. “Wh... what happened to me?” she managed to get out as the nurse offered her a sip of water that she gladly accepted.

“You were admitted about 11 this evening. You’re in the Manchester Royal Infirmary. You were attacked love.” She soothed as she brushed some hair from Rebecca’s eyes with her hand.
“Ill go get your doctor love, he can tell you more, ok dear?”

Smiling at Rebecca, the nurse left the room to make a phone call from the nurses’ station.

About 20 minutes later, at least it seemed that long to Rebecca, a young doctor knocked on the door to her room and entered.

He was in his mid 30s, tall and handsome. His eyes were caring and soft, he was a gentle man.

“Hi there, I hear your awake now?”

Rebecca nodded slowly.

The doctor came forwards and sat down in the chair next to her bed. This could not be good she thought.

“Well, uh, First, I need to sort something out; you are a girl aren’t you?”

Rebecca nodded slowly once again, a look of panic spreading across her face.

“I understand, don’t worry, your friends that came to visit you told me everything, I understand it can’t be easy for you.”

“Firstly, your parents are driving up once they heard about you being hurt.”

Rebecca nearly passed out again; this was NOT the time for this talk.

“Ah…” said the doctor with realisation.

“They don’t know they have a daughter do they?”

“No” Rebecca mumbled in a tiny voice.

“How long have you been on hormones?” he probed gently.

“Uh, a month or so?”

The doctor looked stunned.

“Are you being honest with me?” he questioned.

“Yes, of course I am, I’ve only really known for just under 2 months, its all been sort of sudden.

“That is interesting…” the doctor admitted with a frown,

”Id like to take some blood and run some tests, but that can wait till after.”

“This isn’t easy…” He began, and she knew what was coming.

“The boy you were brought in with, Paul?”

A stone dropped into the pit of Rebecca’s stomach.

“He suffered a great deal of brain damage, and we lost him shortly after he arrived. I’m sorry.”

Rebecca felt a wave of nausea flood over her, then her mouth suddenly went dry and she felt cold.

He was dead?

Paul was dead?

This was her fault…. This was all her fault.

Rebecca burst into tears and not quite sure what to do, the young doctor placed his hand on hers and gave it a squeeze of comfort.

She didn’t know how long she had cried for, but when she finally realised she had stopped, the young doctor was still by her side, and her head hurt like hell.

The wave of guilt had been replaced by the realisation that his loss was her fault

She had become who she was, she had gotten involved in the ball, the fight, and the eventual attack was her fault entirely…

If she hadn’t existed, Paul would still be here.

Her dear, sweet beautiful, kind Paul.

He didn’t deserve this.

”WHY” she asked out loud to herself.

“They were animals.” Came the quiet reply from the doctor she had forgotten was there.

Rebecca turned to look at him with a look of confusion and shock on her face at being reminded of his presence.

“What they did to you… to Paul, and why…. It was wrong.” The doctor said quietly squeezing her hand.

“I’ve known you for short period of time, but I can see you’re an amazing person… They are evil sad people.”

“Look, I have to go, but ill send your friends in, I Know there’s several of them down in the relatives room. It will help take your mind off things….”

“Oh, and there’s a police officer who wants a word with you later, ill tell them you need some time ok?”

Rebecca nodded noncommittally.

A few moments later there was a quiet knock at the door.

Sarah was there, so was Amy and Jenny, Mark and Toby.

“Come in guys, I’m not contagious”

Sarah walked up to the bed and hugged her friend tightly.

”I’m sorry” she whispered. “I’m so sorry”

Rebecca felt the hot tears falling from her friends eyes and hugged her tight. Soon they were joined by Jenny and Amy, leaving the boys standing awkwardly by the door.

The group chatted quietly for the next hour or so. Rebecca began to feel more human again.

She had heard that Marisa had been gloating about the attack once she returned to the ball, shortly thereafter, she and Paul had been found, and the guilty had been arrested rather publicly for murder, and attempted murder.

It gave her a small satisfaction to think of that bitch in a cell. Her smug demeanour shattered.

There was a knock at the door, and looking up; Rebecca spotted 2 people in suits. The police?

“Uh hello?” she asked, her friend immediately falling silent.

“Charlie Anderson?”

“Uh, yes” Rebecca responded, already wondering if this was going to be as difficult as she feared.

“Guys, can you give us some time?” Rebecca said to Sarah and the gang.

“Sure sweetie, see you in an hour or so.” Amy whispered, giving Rebecca a hug.

The detectives stood by door looking uncomfortable as the gang made their way out.

“Uh, what can I do for you?” she asked.

“We are from the Greater Manchester Police. We are here for your statement on your assault Miss.” Announced the young woman detective; a petite blonde in a sharp suit. “I’m Detective Miller, and this is Detective Parker.” She announced, gesturing to her colleague, a tall man with greying hair and glasses.

“Ah right, I’m sorry, I don’t remember much.” Rebecca replied.

“It was all so fast. Once it happened.”

“So why did you go to the party as a woman?” the cold voice of DI Parker chipped in.

“I uh, I am one?” Rebecca struggled.

Detective Miller Gave Parker a dirty look.

“I’m sorry MISS Anderson, My Colleague is a little antiquated.” She said glaring at the older man.

“We have a rough idea of what happened from your friends and some other witnesses. Can you fill in the blanks for us?”

The police officers and Rebecca talked for about 2 hours. And by the end, Rebecca was physically and emotionally drained.

She had the faces of the 5 attackers etched in her memory now. Whether that was good or bad, she did not know.

The thought of a trial made her blood run cold. She would be the media’s plaything….

Rebecca was pondering the possibilities of the trial as there was a sharp intake of breath at the door.

“Charles?” Her mother and father stood at the door, mouths agape…..

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant (evil cow)

'“How are you feeling, ah, Rebecca?” the doctor asked consulting his chart.

“Like I was beaten up” Rebecca replied dryly.'

Chapter 14

*Bleep bleep*

*Bleep bleep*

“Ok, put her on a 24mg drip, I’ll check back in about an hour.”

“Yes Doctor”

*Bleep bleep*

*Bleep bleep*

Rebecca felt like she had been lying with her mouth open for a long time, her mouth and throat were bone dry and sore.

Everything seemed so over sensitive at the moment, pain spread though her body like a slow burn.

Clenching her fist she felt the tug of her skin against a needle in her arm.

It felt like she could feel everything. Almost as if it was easier than visually trying visually assess things. Keeping her eyes closed for now felt safe; a detachment from the reality of where she was.

Clearly a hospital bed.

Opening her eyes felt like a labour.

Bright light filtered through her barely open eyelids; it seemed almost blinding.

Maybe not yet.

“Ugh hello” she croaked.

“Doctor, she’s awake”

“Can you hear me love?”

Footfalls and detached voices, bodiless voices filled her mind.

Rebecca forced her eyes open, and a room flooded into view.

A concerned nurse and a middle-aged male doctor stood by her side.

“Where am i?”

This all seemed like a bad dream, a sadistic dream, or was it? A strong feeling of déjá vu swam around her head.

“You’re in the Royal Manchester love… Do you remember what happened?”

Nodding sorely, Rebecca checked her recollection.

”I was attacked at my End of year ball?” she whispered.

“Yes dear” Soothed the nurse. “Its ok, you’re safe now.”

“Paul?” Rebecca questioned more to herself than the nurse.

“Ill check love.” She soothed. “This is Doctor Martin; he will tell you what’s been happening.”

With a warm smile the nurse vanished.

“How are you feeling, ah, Rebecca?” the doctor asked consulting his chart.

“Like I was beaten up” Rebecca replied dryly.

“Yes, you were. You were admitted last night. He answered.

“You have several broken ribs, and a lot of bruising, but I think you’ll live to fight another day… ah sorry” Realising his sense of humour was not needed.

“Are you feeling up to visitors? We have several of your friends outside.” He asked trying to divert Rebecca’s attention from his faux pas.

Rebecca nodded and the doctor nodded, writing on his chart and left.

About 5 minutes later she was inundated by very gentle hugs from her friends. Amy, Sarah and Jenny looked like they had not been home. Their hair was messy and still in their gowns. Mark and Toby were in just their dress shirts and tuxedo trousers. That wasn’t what she thought it was on their shirts was it?

“We were so worried” gushed Amy. When we heard the commotion outside we came to find you and by the time we got there, they had run off.

“I’m so sorry we didn’t come with you, it might not have happened.” Sobbed Sarah

“Guys, I told you not to.” Scolded Rebecca, she had to remove the blame from her friends.

“Is Paul….?” She whispered glancing at the boys bloody shirts.

“No no he’s ok” Jenny soothed. “He got stabbed; there was a lot of blood.” The ambulance got there just in time they said.

Rebecca felt a massive weight lift from her chest.

“Can I sit up guys” she asked, almost smiling. Soon, with her friends’ assistance she was sitting in the bed and feeling almost her old self again.

Giggling at the irony of such a thought made her clutch her chest in pain as her ribs moved.

”What is it?” asked an anxious Toby.

”Oh nothing, when you told me he was ok, I just felt great, I had a bad dream I think. And I thought to myself ‘you know, I feel like almost my old self again’” Rebecca replied, refraining from the temptation to giggle again.

“We were so worried Bex” Frowned Amy.

“We all feel partly to blame, I know you said we aren’t, but still, I feel partly responsible for everything. We...” she glanced around the others.

“We are here for you, for good now. We’re on your side, and nothing will stop that.”

Rebecca felt a tear roll down her cheek, friends? This wasn’t exactly new, but friends who had her back? Who had and would stand up for her? This was new, and try as she might, she couldn’t keep herself from crying.

Later on, after the group were ushered out of the room by the mother hen nurse, Rebecca sat by herself. Quietly aching and reflecting on this whole mess.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the doctor’s reappearance at her bedside.

“Are you feeling better Miss Anderson?”

Rebecca nodded.

“Can I see Paul? My boyfriend? Please…” she begged.

“I’m not sure you should be walking around right now, but I can see if we can find an orderly with a wheelchair if you promise to not get too amorous, he’s still in Intensive Care.” The doctor mock scolded.

Sitting down on the end of her bed he set his clipboard down and sighed.

“Its funny, I’d have thought a girl in your position would have asked for us to contact her parents at the first opportunity…. I take it they aren’t privy to everything?” he said nodding his head towards Rebecca.

She blushed.

“Uh, yeah, I don’t think now is a good time for them to see me…” she trailed off.

“How long have you been transitioned?” Doctor Martin asked.

Rebecca studied his face for a moment. He looked genuine and caring enough.

“A few months” she whispered.

“I understand how hard it is, believe me.” He replied “Have you thought about how you’re going to tell them?”

Rebecca shook her head.

“It was something I was avoiding I guess.” She admitted, breaking eye contact with him.

“I understand.” He replied.

“I remember coming out to my parents at your age. They were sort of ok with a gay son, but never the same. It’s what pushed me into medicine”

Rebecca looked into Dr Martin’s eyes. This was a kind caring man.

“I just worry that they will think I’m some pervert” She whispered. “Like they…” she tailed off.

“I hope they catch the bastards that did this to you two. It was disgusting, and heinous.” He growled.

The anger that flared in his eyes was palpable. Rebecca could see the flames of his soul dancing in those glassy pits.

It made her feel good; human. She was a victim, not some weirdo getting her just deserts. It empowered her. What’s more, his words made sense.

“Can you call my parents” She asked.

Dr Martin didn’t look entirely surprised.

“Sure.” He said with a hint of a smile. “What should I tell them? Gender wise?”

Rebecca thought for a moment.

“Tell them their child has been attacked, and is here. They will probably mention ‘Charlie’” she mused.

Try to not drop them any hints I guess. Ill try to make myself more androgynous before they come.” She said.

Dr Martin snorted.

“Look love.” He grinned. “You don’t look remotely androgynous. I can’t imagine you looked any more male before you accepted yourself. Just go with the flow, and possibly pull the blanket over your chest. Hmm?” He grinned as Rebecca as she blushed, realising her chest was that obvious.

Patting her leg he smiled. “You’re a good kid. I hope it works out. Ill go call, then send an orderly to take you to lover boy.” He smiled and left.

As Rebecca was pushed though the hallways to the ICU, she felt acutely aware that people were looking at her.

Not confused, but pity…

As they passed a glass walled conference room, she realised why.

“Can you stop a moment.” She begged the bored looking orderly.

Looking in the darkened glass, she saw why she was the focus of so much attention.

She looked like a frightened little girl. Her face was black and blue. Bruised cheekbone, black eye, swollen lips.

She looked like she had gone 6 rounds with boxer.

As they continued down the hallway, she wondered what people must think.

A beaten up girl? Was she the sort of image people associated with pity?

She wondered if they would feel as sorry if they knew the full details.

As they Entered Paul’s room, she thanked the orderly, who went to wait outside.

Gingerly, she got to her feet, and approached Paul’s bedside.

He was sleeping peacefully. Tubes and machines bleeped away oblivious of her presence.

She crawled onto the bed next to Paul, and wrapped her arm around his chest, bellow his bandages and dressings and snuggled her head into his armpit.

She felt so safe next to him. So protected.

”You must be Rebecca” A voice said behind her.

Sitting up abruptly, she slid off the bed and turned to face the voice.

A woman was stood before her; she looked to be in her early 40s, about 5’8 with her Auburn hair up in a bun. She was by the door with a coffee in her hand looking distinctly tired.

She nodded meekly.

“I’m Mrs Harper” She explained. “Paul’s mother.”

“My you poor dear, you were there when he was attacked?” She said, looking sympathetic.

“I uh, was the reason he was attacked, I’m sorry” Rebecca answered, before sinking to one of the bedside chairs; “it’s all my fault she sobbed.

Mrs Harper Put her arm around Rebecca and pulled the girl to her bosom and allowed her to cry it out of her system.

The two talked for some time.

“Your past was no justification.” Mrs said.

“You’re a lovely young woman, and I’m glad my son is seeing someone as truly special as you. You’re true to yourself and him.”

“Can I ask you something?” she asked quietly.

Rebecca nodded.

“Do you love him?”

“Very much” Rebecca whispered.

“Good” Replied Mrs Harper. “Then I want you to know you are welcome in our home at any time dear, as if you were one of my own daughters.” She smiled, opening her arms to Rebecca

It was truly too much, and Rebecca hugged Mrs Harper as she cried tears of happiness.

Please comment!

Born Twice
By Alyssa Plant

'There was a knock at the door and as she turned she came face to face with her mother.

Rebecca’s heart skipped a beat and her mouth began to work but no sound came out.

“Oh sorry, wrong room” Christine muttered and turned to go.

“Wait mum!” Rebecca cried, more upset now by the lack of recognition by her own mother.'

Chapter 15

It was later that day. Rebecca had been returned to her room after seeing Paul’s mother.

She felt strange.

Almost as if she had experienced this painful day so many times, so many ways.

Any way this happened, it was still her fault. That was clear. Her tired brain ran through possible scenarios again, nothing seemed different.

It was her fault.

That much was clear in her head. Whilst so many things swam around. She knew that much.

Meeting Paul’s mother had been unexpected, but not an unpleasant experience. She was a lovely woman Rebecca thought. Would her parents be able to see things the same way?

Surely people who were meant to love her unconditionally could accept something easier than the parent of a lover; a person without the blood debt of family bonding them together, making them face issues like this.

They would be ok with it?

Right?

Rebecca shook the thought from her head. Her stomach was twisting and churning enough without constantly wondering. That knot of fear gripped her belly so tightly she felt light headed with nausea.

Sliding out of her bed she gripped the IV stand tight for support, walked over to the window.

The sun was strong and bright this morning. It all seemed so pleasant, such a beautiful day.

There was a knock at the door and as she turned she came face to face with her mother.

Rebecca’s heart skipped a beat and her mouth began to work but no sound came out.

“Oh sorry, wrong room” Christine muttered and turned to go.

“Wait mum!” Rebecca cried, more upset now by the lack of recognition by her own mother.

“Charlie?” Her mother turned with a look of confusion written on her face.

“Oh dear, I didn’t recognise you, you really need a haircut.”

Her parents seemed to be ignoring the issue again.

“What happened to you son?” her father asked, standing by the end of the bed with his hands in his pockets, holding his suit jacket open.

“I was beaten dad” She said quietly.

“Why didn’t you fight them boy? What have I told you about how a man should act?” He sighed.

“I bet they thought he was Gay” David muttered to his wife.

“DAD!” Rebecca Screeched, immediately covering her mouth with her hands. “I uh, um, sorry.

“What was that?” Her mother turned looking shocked.

”Talk more like a young man should, not screaming like a teenage girl dear.”

Rebecca looked away at that comment. She felt like she had been slapped in the face by her mother.

“Mum, Dad…” She looked at each of them in turn before staring off into space to compose herself.

“I am”.

“You are what dear?” Christine asked.

“I’m a girl mum”.

Christine Anderson stood looking slightly confused for a moment.

”You are a boy dear, I gave birth to you. If anyone knows, I do.”

Feeling emboldened by saying the words, Rebecca pressed on.

“Mum, I’m not a boy; I might be one, there…” She gestured towards her crotch. “But I’m not one here.” she said, placing her hand to her heart.

Her Mother sat down rather abruptly in the chair beside her bed.

Through her teary eyes, Rebecca looked up at her father, who had remained silent throughout.

He simply stood there with a stern expression on his face. Rebecca longed for him to shout and be angry. At least then she would know how he felt.

”Daddy?” she whimpered.

“You got a real bang on the head didn’t you son?” he said matter of factly.

“They sent you to a doctor about these delusions you are having?”

“Dad…” Was all she could say... Her heart was broken.

“Don’t dad me…. Do you know what you are saying Charlie?” he continued.

“You are telling me and your mother, the two people who raised you, that you aren’t who we raised, and you don’t think you are mentally unstable? You are a not a woman…. You won’t ever be a woman, and I won’t let you be a woman. So you had better get used to being a man, and act like one.”

There was a fire in her father’s eyes she had never seen before. She was scared.

“But Dad, this isn’t because of the attack…” I’ve felt this way for a long time, please, just try and understand what I’m saying…” she pleaded

“Don’t tell me you were dressed up as a woman when you got beaten up?” her mother sighed.

“Is this why you are in hospital? Some boys didn’t like seeing a man in a dress and attacked you? Oh god, you can’t prosecute now… what will they think?”

Rebecca’s mouth fell open.

”MUM!?” she gasped.

“Well dear you don’t look like a girl, what did you expect? Really?”

“Uh mum, have you looked at me recently?” Rebecca said feeling rather hurt by her mother’s comments.

Christine cocked her head slightly and looked at Rebecca.

“You look like a boy with breasts dear.” She said simply. “Hang on, you have breasts?!” she exclaimed.

Reaching out, she touched Rebecca’s chest. What are you wearing under that gown? Stuffing a bra with tissue doesn’t make you have breasts dea…..” her voice trailed off as her hand contacted Rebecca’s chest.

“Oh my gosh.” She said simply.

“When were you going to tell us about this?” She asked.

Rebecca felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

“I don’t know” she whispered. “I was working out how to tell you before this happened…” She sighed.

Looking across at her father, he just looked angry still.

”I can’t deal with this.” He announced. “My son is a fucking fairy…” He yelled as he walked out the door.

Looking back at her mother. She was sobbing uncontrollably now. “Mum…?” she half begged.

“I don’t know Charlie, I don’t know if we can deal with this. I’m sorry.” She said solemnly.

“But Mum” Rebecca sobbed.

“Mum nothing Charlie, I don’t know if I’m comfortable with what you are doing to yourself….

All these years I’ve never seen you act remotely feminine, you were our good handsome boy.”

”MUM I'M YOUR CHILD” Rebecca hissed through clenched teeth. “How can you leave me like this?”

“Now you pull yourself together you hear?” her mother shouted. “I have to go find your father and we have things to do, I’m sorry, I cannot, no, I will not deal with this. You are our son, not our daughter. You will always be our son.” She announced with an air of finality.

She was about to speak again, when a nurse appeared at the door.

”Excuse me Mrs Anderson, But Rebecca needs to rest now.”

Christine looked scandalised. “REBECCA? Cant you see he’s a boy?” she gasped.

“Mrs Anderson, you’re child needs to rest, she’s still unwell.” The nurse repeated flatly ignoring Christine’s tirade.

“Gathering her bag and glaring at the nurse, Christine Anderson marched out of the room without a backward glance at Rebecca.

“MUM!” Rebecca shouted through her tears.

The nurse came into the room and sat down on the bed next to Rebecca.

“I’m sorry dear” She whispered. “I thought it was best I ask her to leave, you were getting very upset.”

Rebecca nodded through her sobs.

”Aw love it will work out in the end” the nurse cooed hugging Rebecca to her and letting her cry.

Her parents, the ones who were meant to love her forever were acting like she was some deviant freak.

Maybe she shouldn’t have called for them? What if she hadn’t been attacked?
What if she had been a boy for her parents? Could she be a boy for them? Would they forgive this as past?

The last thought Rebecca had before she drifted off to sleep was that there was no way she could go back now. This was her life that she was beginning to live. She would die before she went back to being that shroud of sadness they called their son.

She could, no, she would live.

From the Author: Really sorry this has taken so long guys! I’m snowed under with coursework, not sure when the next chapters will come, but ill try to get something out once a week if I can. Damn degrees, Damn Tonsillitis, and Damn Dams!