We are back to school from our winter/holiday break, and I am back working on my projects in Art and Family Life along with my other classes. My grades for the first semester of school were better than usual which please both my Mom and my step-father. The fact I was able to buy holiday gifts on my own was another pleasant surprise for them.

I cut out the patterns of different pieces of my gown and was getting ready to pin it to fabric and begin cutting out the pieces. I was happy as each new step made me all the more certain that I would be granted the exception needed. What I did not anticipate was Ms. Andrea Miller calling my mother.

“Hello, is this Mrs. Michele Stevens-Johnson? I am calling about your son Andrew being in my Family Life class. He’s ready to begin cutting out pieces for his gown, and I'm extra sensitive about a boy trying on his dress during the process to make sure it fits properly. I don’t have a person to help me watch over him. You know we need to be careful that nothing inappropriate would happen.”

She continued, “Oh, I thought you knew that the prom dress was for him. And he’s supposed to model it at the Spring Arts Spectacular… I was told your daughter Heidi, a senior, will also have artwork in the show. Andrew had assured me you knew what he was doing and watched over him when he worked on it at home.” …Ms. Miller realized things were not as I indicated, “Yes Mrs. Stevens, it would be good if you could come in and we could all get a clear understanding of things pertaining to your son and his project… I will be here until four o’clock and could stay a little later if that would help you at work… Good, I will plan to see you at 3:30 pm here at the school.”

Andrea Miller told Andrew he needed to meet with her after school but only said, “It’s to go over the details of your prom gown. We need to make sure of everything before you pin and cut all the rest of your fabric pieces for the gown.”

She paused and asked, “Andrew are you sure that this has been approved by Mr. Murphy?”

Andrew replied, “He hasn’t said he has any problem with it.”

She said, “That’s good but usually his students need to model their design for the Spring Art Show. Are you doing that or has he made an exception?”

Andrew said, “Ms. Miller, I have identified three girls who could model it for me; I already asked two of them. They said they’d have to see the gown before they would say yes.” Andy continued jokingly, “There is no way I could fit into the gown.”

Ms. Miller surprised him, “You’re joking, but you know full well that this gown could fit you nicely.”

Andrew’s eyes popped wide open. He thought back to Linda describing who he was to design the gown for. He had thought Linda’s description could easily fit a dozen or more girls. It never dawned on him that she described a girl his size; not that it was something that could fit him. That was not quite true, he knew his sisters, Heidi wore a size four and Leah had as well. Though that might have changed since she went to college. He could barely squeeze into anything of theirs that didn’t stretch.

“Ms. Miller, I honestly never thought of it like that. I just didn’t like the boring outfits guys wear.”

Ms. Miller said, “Both Tera and Linda told me that they warned you that Mr. Murphy doesn’t make exceptions for his assignments.”

He said, “But Ms. Miller, I have attention deficit issues and I didn’t hear that part of the assignment.”

Ms. Miller said, “I need to work with the class, you and I can talk more after school.” It was the first time Andrew really worried about the fashion project for art. But he assured himself that he’d wiggle out of this as he had for so many other things.

Andrew did not have Art today but he did see Sarah from the class when he went to the library. He quietly went over to her and asked, “Sarah, remember when Linda described the person I should design my gown for? Do you know if she was describing anyone in particular? Sarah looks over to Sandra who was sitting with her and then to me.

She asked, “Do you really want me to tell you here and now?” I’m not a good one for waiting and I was sure it had to be for another girl. I nodded my head yes. Sarah smiles as she says, “She described a girl about your size, as she was suspecting it was for you. It was also something that could be altered for a lot of other girls. We thought you knew that.”

Sandra looked up to me, “So is it really for you?”

I step back, “Do I really look like a girl?”

Sandra said, “You’re working at a women’s store, designing a prom dress in your size. We thought so you could wear it. Doing up your hair and using makeup that you could look like a girl was not out of the question.” She said, “Terra would even be willing to help you in doing so. I’m available as I believe most of the girls are.”

The librarians insist I be quiet and get back to what I came for. I got my reference material for history but had trouble focusing on the subject.

We got out of school shortly after 3:00, but it was 3:20 when I walked into Ms. Miller’s room and saw my mother talking to her. I was thinking of walking out when I was seen. My Mom said, “Andrew, when did you realize your outfit was something you were be wearing?”

Hurriedly I said, “Mom when I realized I didn’t hear all the instructions it was the week we came back from winter break.”

Mom said, “Out with the truth! You knew earlier than that didn’t you?”

“Mom it was the week before the holiday break.”

Mom said, “That was when you went with Caroline Druthers to order the material. Why were you in a hurry to order it? I’m guessing that was to commit yourself to this project. So when did the girls in your class inform you that your project had to be for you.”

Andrew said, “It came up in November, but Mr. Murphy never said anything even when he saw I was designing a prom gown. He was the one who said I needed to reserve a mannequin with Ms. Miller. Yes, I thought if I made the pattern and bought the material that would be enough to justify my making a gown.” I caught my breath, “Mom did Ms. Miller show you the gown I designed? Isn’t it beautiful? It is a lot better and with more details than a guy’s dumb bland outfit of pants, a jacket, and a shirt?”

Mom agreed, “Yes Andy, it is beautiful as are the colors and fabrics you’ve chosen for it. But that doesn’t change what Mr. Murphy asked of you and the others did it? We will talk to Mr. Murphy and your counselor, but Ms. Miller tells me I better not promise the results you want.”

Andrew wines, “Mom, you’re going to help me, aren’t you? You know I have problems getting all the instructions at times. My following through should be worth something? You know I’m doing really well for me.”

She says, “Yes, I plan to help you, but you also know you had plenty of time to correct things. I guess I have not done a good job of raising you with a sense of responsibility. I probably have bailed you out too often. You might have a problem with your stepfather as well as with the school and me. I suggest you get to work and we’ll talk after you’re home.”

Today I only had to work from 4:00 to 7:30 pm. It was hard at first to focus on my work. Once I was putting up a new display of spring clothes I was happy again. The clothes I was putting out reminded me of the colors I had chosen for the prom gown. The store has plenty of beautiful gowns for weddings, proms other special occasions. Carrie spoke to me, “You had trouble focusing on your work, but it appears the new clothes brought you out of your stupor. If I didn’t know it, I’d think you’re just another girl working here.”

“Naw Ms. Carrie, I hope you don’t really think that.”

“Drew, I meant it as a compliment, not to upset you. Did something go wrong today?”

Andrew, “I hope not Ms. Druthers, but others are saying that the gown I’ve designed was something I was supposed to wear.”

She says, “I know that's what Mr. Murphy usually required, but I assumed you had received an exception or maybe you were different.”

I’m more than a little irritated when I speak, “Carrie, you don’t think I’m like that do you?”

She says, “I hadn’t thought much about it, as either way I would support you. I have no problem thinking a healthy male can enjoy working here as you do. You’ve seen other men in here buying women’s clothes.”

“They were different like some people seem to be indicating now.”

Carrie says, “You’re right the vast majority were buying clothes for others.”

I hesitate, why did she say, the ‘vast majority’. I try to think of the men who had shopped here. “I didn’t remember seeing any men buying for themselves. You’re just teasing me aren’t you?”

Carrie said, “Drew, I am not teasing you. Neither do I want you wasting time trying to guess. If there’s a man buying for himself or a friend. That’s not your business who it is for. I’ve helped such people and they’re welcome here. I would have you stop working here if you can’t handle that. Do you understand me?”

I stopped on my way home several times, delaying my getting home from work. When I got home I just wanted to eat and get off to my room. Mom, however, waited until I sat down to eat before she and Dan, my step-father, came and sat with me. Dan was the first to speak, “Andy, I want you to know you’re not in big trouble. I won’t get angry or do anything to hurt you. But we have a problem and we need to decide what we’re going to do about it. If it were my son Michael, I’d be asking for your Mom’s help too, as she asked me to be here now.”

Mom asked, “Are there really two girls who are waiting to see what the gown looks like before they decide one way or another?”

I mention Michael’s cousins Jan and Shelby who are close to my size. But I still need to talk to them or someone else. Mom said, “Andrew, you haven’t asked them, have you? You Mentioned to Ms. Miller about Jan Johnson but there’s a problem. She is in your grade so neither of you could invite the other to prom. Shelby might be a junior, but somehow I don’t think you’ve asked her.”

I say, “I’m sorry Mom, I will call around tonight. I’ll even call Terra and Linda maybe they can suggest some girls I can call tonight or tomorrow.”

She said, “It is soon going to be too late to call someone you don’t even know.”

Dad Johnson asks, “Andrew, Mr. Murphy’s fairly well known to be hard-nosed about these things. If he weren’t so good, he’d have been gone before this. I know in the past he wouldn’t change for people more influential than me in this school district. The best chance would be to keep after the Principal and the School Board members to approve some kind of an exemption. We can hope Mr. Murphy will cooperate, but that might take a minor miracle.”

“Dad, you have to help me. I really would appreciate your help.”

Dad asks, “What if they’d request for you to at least model it for the Art Show as a boy, are you willing?”

“No Dad, Terra, and Linda both say if it is not modeled well, he would fail me anyway. Since he’s given me a B for the first semester he’d fail me in this one or require me to officially drop the class for both semesters. My grade in Family life could also suffer. Each course is actually two credits each semester. Do you know what that would do to my grade point average?”

Heidi came into the kitchen where I’m eating and we’re visiting. “Tell me, little brother, what I hear isn’t true.”

Mom hears only a part and asked, “Is what true?”

“I hear he knew something and did contrary to what Mr. Murphy said. I heard the guy's a real stickler as a teacher. So did you, brother!”

I say, “I didn’t hear all the directions. You know I have a problem with that.”

Heidi's smile was more like laughing, “You know darn well that between September going into February you had plenty of time to figure it out. I seriously hope you get out of this. I don’t want my brother modeling a gown he’s sewn together at the mall.”

Defending myself, “Sis, the dress is going to turn out beautiful, Mom even saw the design and material today. Hey, how about you modeling it for us?”

Heidi said, “No way! This prom is my senior prom, do not get any thought that you'll make it into a circus. I’m not modeling it for my brother. And there is no way bro’ would I ever want you at the prom dressed as a girl. I would be the laughing stock of the school. My senior year and my last prom, it is to be special!"

I said, “I was not asking to pressure you, it’s just that I think my sister is so pretty. Sor…rrry!”

Mom took me aside, “Young man, you were expecting too much of others. Again you’re playing your games.” Andrew doesn’t answer. Finally, she asks, “Andrew why did you set yourself up like this?”

“Mom, between designing the gown and working with customers at the store. I liked what I’ve done and I didn’t want to stop. Is that a big crime?”

Mom smirks, “It’s not a crime but you’ve gotten yourself in a very dicey spot. This might be the time things catch up to you. I guess we knew it would happen sooner or later.”

Mr. Murphy’s first reply to consider an exception came quickly and was a definite “No!” Principal Valarie Hayes said we needed to be patient, formally write out our request for Mr. Murphy and then meet with him again. Seemingly Mr. Murphy has been through all this before and he knows the school’s procedure. He will not be happy with me for putting him through it again. Murphy calmly put things off as long as he could, heard our request without really listening to it. His response was a simple, “No, it was explained clearly. You had plenty of time to ask if you had not. You can change your project or you can wear what has designed as requested. I would not want to set a precedent over this.”

So far this semester I have done a wood carving, a watercolor picture, and some community street art. We are now painting a nude woman. Everything is always along with working on our fashion projects. My mother was upset over my sketching the nude woman but she was simply told it was for advanced art students. Reminding her that it was me who requested to be in the class and my parents who signed for the request of the exception to

be in the class.

The seniors, Terra, Linda, and Sarah were the only three students to have a frontal view, Jennifer, Carla, and I viewed the nude woman more from the side. We were given the opportunity to sketch her on Tuesday and to refine our sketch on Thursday and then begin painting our pictures on Thursday.

Mr. Murphy complained that I was the only one so immature that my body responded to viewing the female model. Terra told me later, Mr. Murphy, either did not notice or was uncomfortable acknowledging that both she and Jennifer had physically responded to seeing Jane Doe’s lavish body.

I was following through in making my prom gown as I was unwilling to give in to Mr. Murphy. I cannot believe the school would force me to go through with modeling it or wearing it to the prom.

Leah’s home and she asks to visit with me alone during spring break. “Andrew, what will you do if some junior or senior student asks you to the prom?”

I say, “I am sure no one will. It is way too expensive and important for anyone to waste their money and time at the prom with me. Heidi and some of her friends have already made it clear they do not want their prom to be a joke. Plus Mom and dad will not allow me to ruin it for others.”

Leah smiles, “True, Mom won’t let you hurt Heidi’s experience or the others. But that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t allow you to go dressed in your prom dress. She’d just make sure you presented yourself well. Even if it was just for a half-hour.” She said, “You better think about what you would do about going with someone to the prom. Mr. Murphy might even encourage someone to ask you.”

My stepdad has continued to put pressure on school board members. He’s taken an unofficial survey of teachers. It favors me being able to use another model for the gown I’ve designed. Several of his friends also called the Principal and Board Members.

More recently I painted a wall mural of the Millennium Falcon coming out of warp drive, with background stars in blurs of light as its joining other attack aircraft. Even Mr. Murphy was impressed and gave me an A grade. I also painted a large picture for the side of an old building downtown. It was a montage of a forest with old and new cartoon characters, i.e. Bugs Bunny leaning next to a tree with Elmer Fudd looking down a rabbit hole; Simba and Nala as young lion cubs; the skunk with Bambi nose to nose. Upon the hill were Olaf, Anna, and Elsa. The small house with Snow White and the seven dwarfs dancing outside. The mural was appreciated, but copyright permission to paint it was cited for its low score. Mr. Murphy said it would be impossible or too costly to replicate for public viewing.

Push, come to shove, the Spring Art Spectacular was a week away and Mr. Murphy wouldn’t change, and the School Board continued to be reluctant to overrule one of their teachers. But no one was officially saying ‘No’.

Finally, the day came and I had set out seven pieces of my artwork, but all that was extra, though important. The gown and modeling it was essential for a good grade. Sharon Drew was named as my model. And Mr. Murphy insisted he was set to fail me if I used her. Andrea Miller, my home economics teacher had already given me an A on the gown.

I was to sit with my parents for the fashion show, but I excused myself to the boys’ room after I set things up for my other projects.

The fashion show was starting. The first to go was Jennifer in an evening dress. That dress went very well with her petite frame. Linda was next, her pastel yellow gown changing to a peach skirt was very nice, though better on the drawing table. It would only earn her a B grade. Her wire sculpture and pastel chalk drawing each won blue ribbons. There are no less than twelve students from Mrs. Miller’s classes, other than us in the Advanced Art class, that were modeling their fashions. Mr. Murphy watched me come from behind the stage to make my way to my chair. And I’m told he was fuming.

Clara was next and her slender silver gown had both the bling and fine lines of a beautiful gown. Sarah’s blue gown was likely to take away from my gown especially since she had the curves to fill out her gown. But next was Terra and her red gown that for me was the one to steal the show. It had beautiful lines like Clara’s. It was eloquent in showing off how beautiful Terra is. It was daring in how far it went, but she rightly felt it was in good taste. It had gold edging that showed well in the light. Terra once down the runway waited for the lights to be dimmed and a spotlight to show how the gold trim showed off her gown.

Sharon was to wear a fancy wig curled and fixed especially for the show. It would make it hard for Mr. Murphy to recognize her with any certainty. I for one was especially pleased with the gown. My Mom had helped in putting it on and making sure everything was just right. She even presented a corsage to be worn with the gown as on prom night. The model was over halfway down the runway when Mr. Murphy used a few broad red strokes to fill my sheet with an F. There would be tension as the crowd applauded loudly, seemingly appreciating the gown. Most not knowing about the clash between Mr. Murphy and me. Principal Hayes even began to clap before she caught herself.

My gown was to be the last of the show, so as not to take away from others. My step-dad soon confronted Mr. Murphy about my prom gown and the grade he was giving me.

Mr. Murphy said, “They disguised Sharon well as the model but I was not fooled. If your son wore it to the prom, I would consider giving him a passing grade.” He said so believing I would fail to do that as well, “The failing grade will remain and the best Andrew might get is a D for the two semesters. That is final and I really do not care to hear any more about it. I too have my supporters and I am a tenured teacher.”

My Mom spoke up, “But you have not commented on the design nor the actual dress? I believe Drew did a fantastic job and put in enough hours and talent at least to warrant your comments.”

She paused and as I walked over, Mom said, “Let me introduce Andrea and you can explain to her, your failing grade for her.”

Mr. Murphy started to speak, “I did not fail her, she did a very nice job of modeling the gown, but it was…” It was then Mr. Murphy started to turn red. We weren’t sure if it was anger or embarrassment. I was actually modeling my own gown. Sharon had become my decoy in sitting with my family.

I enjoyed, both modeling the gown surprising everyone with the exception of my Mom and classmates knew. We also knew something others did not…

To be continued…

Andrew’s attention deficit and being a little spoiled, finally catches up with him… The result bears unexpected fruit in his Advanced Art class… Making a prom dress helps to bring out a hidden part of him… His mother stands by to help dreams come true. A new life will become possible…

Previously=: My Mom spoke to Mr. Murphy, “But you have not commented on the gown and what was accomplished. Drew did a fantastic, his work warrants your constructive comments.” She then introduces Andrea who modeled the gown, saying, “Explain to her your failing grade…” Mr. Murphy started to speak, “I did not fail her, she performed exquisitely in modeling the gown, but it was Andrew’s responsibility…” It was then Mr. Murphy started to turn red… I had been transformed into Andrea; modeling the gown surprising everyone with the exception of my Mom and my classmates…

Now: Needless to say, Mr. Murphy had believed he saw me come from out of the back earlier. Jennifer had already modeled her dress and she put on my coat and a hat I had worn to go back out front. I had the worn panties and stockings under my clothes. No one noticed the little hair on my arms was gone nor that my nails had been trimmed and buffed. I did wear the wig I bought for modeling the gown. It was more eloquent than time allowed for me to do my hair.

Yes, I’ve been enjoying the idea of designing and working with women’s fashions for over half a year. All that time I became more and more in love with working in a women’s store as well as designing and making my gown. I tried as best I could not to be the one modeling it. But if I was going to do it, I wanted to enjoy it. Mom, my sister Leah, Sharon, and Terra blocked others from seeing me as I unwrapped the breast forms my mother purchased for me and put on a bra. Leah, Sharon, and Terra had fun giggling at my expense, but I enjoyed their caring.

The gown falling over my body feels exquisite; it is like my psyche is being reborn. Pierced earrings had been acquired two days before and only this morning they had been taken out and my hair brushed to cover my pierced ears. They were soon put back in. The blue sparkle from one pair had me giddy as a little girl, I was enjoying them.

Leah was in charge of doing my makeup, and she did beautifully especially with minimal time and the pressure to get it right the first time. Truthfully, even my mother was surprised it was me in the gown and under the makeup. Soon she went around and out to her seat. Leah and I knew I had more than enough practice in my three-inch heels. Leah had tapped her jewelry box to give me two rings, a bracelet, and a necklace that completed my look.

I waited for the last possible second before I came on stage and heard Ms. Miller describing the gown I had designed being shared with any who stopped and gathered around the runway. There was a hum from the crowd as it was announced that a boy Andrew Stephens had designed and made the gown that he was to be modeling. Instead of sharing my name again, I just walked down the runway showing off my gown. Several people had coached and practiced with me. It must have worked better than we hoped. I could hear people whisper, some more loudly say, “That is no boy, nor did one design that or sew it together.”

Well, Mr. Murphy and Ms. Miller knew, it was my design and me who put it together… After the fashion show was done I took my time going out to my parents and Mr. Murphy. Principal Hayes was there waiting for Mr. Murphy to comment on my gown. When he delayed any comment, the Principal turned to Ms. Miller. Ms. Miller had no shortage of words, “I have others who have put together gowns as beautiful as Andrea’s, but nothing as original and as well fashioned as hers. I even invited a fashion consultant from Northern State University to be here. And she's invited a noted designer from X-Press International to the show. I am very happy that she was pleased and they would both like to visit with Andrea/Andrew.”

Ms. Miller spoke again, “Andrew, I heard backstage you had a surprise announcement. I’m hoping you have a boy who has invited you as his date to the prom?” That caught everyone’s attention as Terra stepped up behind me.

“No boy invited Andrew but I invited Andrea.” Even my Mom and Dad pause and looked wondering if they were to take her seriously. I spoke up, “That is pending my parents’ approval, but yes I want to go with her as Andrea. But the next time I wear this I want to go to a salon and have my hair and nails

professionally done.”

Even I was dazed by Terra a senior asking me to her prom as her date. She says, “I want him to pass both classes with flying colors. So Mrs. Stephens is it okay if I take your Andrea to the prom?” Everyone looked to my Mom.

“He’s Andrew to me wearing a beautiful gown he created. I am thankful that he has a special friend like you. If you get appointments at the same salon, I’ll pay for both of you that includes any extras.”

Terra says, “That sounds great, but I’d like it if he can come in girl mode. Would it be okay if we went out once or twice before the prom?”

Mom says, “I thought you still had a boyfriend, won’t he be upset?”

“He’s away from here and I’m going to the University another seventy miles in the other direction. I chose not to keep a long-distance relationship for the next four years. He’s already growing and becoming someone different. I believe I will be doing the same as well. My studies will be in environmental sciences with a minor in teaching. Your son has an appreciation of that.”

I finally speak up, “Mom, I want to go to the prom with her and I’m pretty sure you’re going to say yes. Can we please end this little drama?” Mom smiled and said, “Yes.”

I went to change out of the gown and was met by Carrie on the way. She was carrying an outfit on a hanger and covered with a dress bag. “Here Andrea, if you will change into this I have an appointment for your hair and nails to be done. I already have your mother’s approval.” I was feeling light-headed enough that I quickly found a chair.

Carrie and Mom were quickly there, “Are you alright,” Mom asked? I put my hands up to my eyes. I wanted to cry, but I don’t want to wreck my makeup. “Honey, what’s the matter?”

I regain enough composure to take my hands away and to look up to my Mom. “Mom, Carrie brought me an outfit and said she’d treat me to an appointment at a salon. It’s crazy I know, I would like to do it, but I don’t want you and Dad angry with me. Mom, the person that examined the dress that’s with Ms. Miller, ‘J. C. Harper,’ I’ve heard of her she’s good, more than very good. Why would she come to see me or this show?"

Mom is waving her hands like she’s saying, “Slow down, Honey, slow down and relax.” I sneak a peek under the plastic bag that Carrie’s holding. I recognize which skirt it probably is from her store and it excites me. Now, I’m wondering what she has chosen to go with it. I try standing up, but standing in my gown is different and I need to reach for a hand to help me up keeping my balance.

Mom says, “Honey take the clothes and go change out of your gown. You did beautifully out there. I think you earned a fun experience as a girl. Just let yourself enjoy the weekend.”

As I change, I call Leah to be in to help me with my gown. There’s a slip as well as the gown. I have shoes and my stockings to change out of. I’m down to my panties as I glance into the long mirror. Even now in the mirror, I am looking like a pretty teen girl. Leah notices me looking at the mirror. “She’s a girl and not the boy you expected, isn’t she?” I mumble yes.

“It’s okay, even our stepdad realizes the change. His only concern seems to be how to help and support you.” Leah hands me a different bra as the top Carrie chose for me has a lower neckline. It requires a different bra. Leah is amused as I situate my breasts into the cups as I put on the bra and clasp it behind my back. Leah asks, “Where did you learn to do that?”

It took me a minute to think what she was asking; the fact I clasped the bra on behind my back. “I don’t know I just did it. Isn’t that how girls do it, I guess I learned seeing it in movies?”

Leah smiles as she helps me put my blouse on. She says, “Yes, but they and I have practiced it for a few years, you shouldn’t be so well versed to be doing it without thinking.” She has the skirt open for me to step into it. The skirt is nicely lined and it is a much better skirt than I would have thought Carrie would give me to wear.

We step out of the changing room and back out to the front of the department store. J.C. Harper and Prof. Riggs greet me as Ms. Miller introduces us. I am shy and embarrassed as I shake Harper’s hand. Prof. Riggs says, “It appears you know of her?”

I say, “Yes, she was in a couple of the fashion magazines and websites I checked out as I was doing my project. I can’t see why she would be here.”

J.C. smiles and speaks up, “Did you really design and make your gown, or are people covering for you? They say you also drew these sketches of your classmates with various designs. Where did you copy them from?”

I became defensive, “I didn’t copy them. They might not look like it, but I quickly sketched them and colored them in later. They never got finished, as I wasn’t designing their gowns and dresses.”

J.C. interrupted me saying, “I’m not being critical. I’m impressed if you drew them; they captured your classmates and the gowns were uniquely appropriate for each one of them. That is a gift and talent you seem to have. Your teacher knew that when she contacted Prof. Riggs. If you and your parents are open to it, I would suggest you move to the university and go to a high school there and begin developing your abilities.”

Carrie walks me over to a special salon that was part of the mall, but very much out of sight. Someone said it was not for the average shopper. They only had three salon stations and Maxine would be working with me today. Carrie left me, as J.C. stayed to talk with me. “What would you say about drawing up some sketches for this summer and next fall? I would like to produce a good sample of them and see how they fare in the marketplace.”

By this time, I’m thinking this is an elaborate hoax to embarrass me for all I did. So I tell her, “I don’t know how far people are going with this charade. It would be wonderful if it were all true. I can’t believe my Mom and Carrie would have gone along with it.”

J.C. Harper is amused that I am not taking her seriously. I even ask Maxine to stop. Finally, Ms. Harper says, “Take a deep breath, pinch yourself, and then let it sink in. I am impressed with your talent, I wouldn’t come here to be part of a game as you say. I like the idea of marketing a teenage boy designing clothes with a flair for teen women. I even have an initial contract and a bonus check if you’d agree to do it.” She waves the check and I stretch to see it. She holds it so I can see that it is made out for $500.

I quickly say, “No, I don’t want to embarrass myself.”

She says, “I told them the same thing. I can offer you a thousand dollars and your parents can help so we don’t embarrass you. I do need to get an initial agreement however to give you the check.”

I ask, “Does this mean I have to change schools as you say?”

I hear my Mom say, “You wouldn’t have to, but the idea has merit. University High has a good balance of regular high school students and students with individualized programs. You’d also be able to do some advanced study at the University.”

JC says, “And if you’d like some time to go to class as Andrea, Dr. Riggs said the school has already approved similar agreements for other students.”

“Mom, I never said I wanted to go to school as a girl, what made you think about that?”

Mom says, “I knew you purchased at least three things at Carrie’s that you did not give away as gifts. The other week when I went to hang up some of your laundry, I saw close to twelve hangers that had skirts, blouses and even two dresses that I didn’t know of.”

She continued, “My friend who stopped by and got into several conversations with you is a capable therapist. She hasn’t confided in me, she’d need your permission to do that. But she did tell me it would be good for you to meet with her if you’re open to it.”

It was then I noticed Maxine had continued to style my hair and placed it up in rollers. She told me, “This isn’t a perm but you do need to sit under the dryer so it will hold its style for the weekend.”

I turn to Ms. Harper, “If I agree to what you’re asking would it be possible to get $1,200 and be able to contact you, more like a friend. I do like your taste in designing clothes and coming to see me?”

She says, “If you’d sign this working agreement; I have a check for you but it’s already made out for one thousand two hundred and fifty dollars. That was the maximum I was allowed to give you as a bonus. And yes to us becoming friends. I want to be able to say I was there at the beginning and helped discover you.” I knew I blushed at that point.

Mom had her make the check out to Andrew with Andrea written into the memo line. Mom and J.C. left me alone after that. Leah waited around for my appointment to end. I was happy to have all the hassle over and begin to relax. Maxine gave me a makeover and painted my nails as well. She and I agreed on the choice of the mauve nail polish and lip gloss.

The makeover like the styling of my hair was nothing drastic but was more than pleasing enough for me. I was looking like a good looking teen girl. What I didn’t have were shoes to go with the outfit I’m wearing. It was at the second store Leah and I agreed on a pair of two-inch heels. The look was complete, and I was now walking through the mall as a girl.

J.C. Harper was watching me and was amused with each step that I became more of a girl. So after the shoes were purchased, she and I let the others go one way as JC and I walked another.
She asked, “Does Leah go to the state university? Do you think she might be willing to share an apartment or be comfortable if you were at least in the same building and if needed to check up on you?”

I asked, “Do you really think it would make enough of a difference if I lived there and went to a different school?”

She says, “I think in time your creativity will suffer if you’re here. The novelty of having you here will lead to more and more hassles. I don’t mean to pre-judge your community it might be the exception. Central High School, not only has an LGBT community, you’d find a good portion of the straight community loves having a diverse community of friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if you gained several other girlfriends, who are into fashion. They would probably even share their fashion, makeup, and other tips. That would help round you out with the community you’d be designing clothing for. They also would love to get to know you and your stuff.”

JC asks, “Do you think you could get into dressing more than half the time dressing in femme, wearing your fashions, and more?”

I didn’t mean to let down my defenses and denial, but I began to soften. “Do you really think the school would be comfortable with me crossing over when I wanted?” I paused, “But I wouldn’t even know how to approach the subject with my Mom.”

J.C. says, “If I were you, I wouldn’t drop everything at once upon her, but I’m sure your mother already knows her son is changing. She’s probably not sure if Andrew is who’s going to be the creator designer, but she does see you blossoming. I think even her husband is so in love with your Mom enough that he’ll be there for you as well.”

We’ve stopped in front of the window at Soma’s. I was not mindful that a tunic top had caught my eye along with some pretty bras and panties. JC says, “I think you’d look very nice in that. Would you wear something like leggings with it, or a skirt or slacks?” I’m caught up in thought until she asks, “Don’t tell me you’d be more daring. Let’s go in and look around.” I try to say no, but she’s walking in without arguing and I’m following her.

You’d think my breasts were real as much as I take interest in a bra and panty set. JC is correct my eyes did latch on the tunic, but I wasn’t sure if it was a dress or a top. Either way, I’m pretty sure I was envisioning it with a pair of leggings or a slightly longer skirt. I text my Mom about buying a bra/panty set along with the tunic. JC said she’d buy me my choice of leggings. Mom text back, “You have two hundred from your bonus, but don’t plan on spending more than a hundred if you can help it.”

Leah soon called, “If you’re not a girl and your breasts aren’t real, why are you interested in buying an expensive bra/panty set?”

It was 7:30 when we went to dinner at the country club. Two women recognized JC Harper was with us and came over to ask to have a picture with her. JC simply said, “If you’re here after we’re done with our dinner that would be fine, but I’m dining a client.”

The women looked, recognizing my parents and Leah but not me or Heidi. “Do you mean it was this daughter who designed the gown?”

JC would have let it pass except it might result in problems with me and the school. JC came and stood with me. “This is Andrea and she designed and made her gown. I’m pretty sure you will be hearing more about her or Andrew. …Now if you’d like, you could take a picture of us, but we need to return to our dinner.”

Thankfully my father let it be known, “We’d like to be out here looking over the club grounds, but I’ll ask for a private dining area if need be.”

I worked to concentrate on how I was eating. I took smaller bites and used a lot less salad dressing. Ordering a lighter dinner than usual was not lost on Mom or Dad. I moved my chair back like I wanted to go to the bathroom but quickly thought the better of it. Leah was the first to recognize my need and she asked me, “Andrea would you please accompany me to the women’s restroom?” Mom and JC came soon followed.

JC calmed me, “You’re doing well young lady.” I had used the toilet and made sure I was back together properly before I came back out. Mom coached me as I fixed my face and hair.

The Prom was three weeks away and you’d think I had become a giddy girl in preparing for it. So often I’d get daydreaming: Thinking of this and that wondering what a regular girl thought. Several girls were jealous J.C. Harper had been there and I didn’t tell them. Brenda was perturbed, “I can’t believe she’d waste her time coming to see you. How much did it cost to get her to come here?”

A week before the prom Leah was home from college for the summer. She talked me into wearing a pair of panties and a camisole under my shirt to school. She told me other students wouldn’t know. I believed her and it wasn’t until art class that Jennifer and Linda told me a lot of the girls at school knew.

Terra said, “Some of the smarter ones are saying it goes along with your artistic makeup.” Linda adds, “Some of them think you’re the kind of boy who identifies with girls.”

It was between classes that Heidi sought me out and asked, “What made you do something like wearing panties under your clothes? You could have at least warned me. I would have stayed home and not been embarrassed. But no not you.”

It was the first time another school looked good to me. Now I’m hoping it won’t ruin Terra letting me go with her to the Prom.

To be continued…

The Prom was three weeks away and you’d think I had become a giddy girl in preparing for it. So often I’d be daydreaming: Thinking what I’d look like and wondering if I thought like a regular girl. Several girls were jealous J.C. Harper had been there and I didn’t tell them. Brenda was perturbed, “I can’t believe she’d waste her time coming to see you. How much did it cost to get Harper to come here?” She was hoping I'd give her an excuse to get worse.

Two weeks before the prom Leah was home from college for the summer. She talked me into wearing a pair of panties as well as a camisole under my shirt to school. She told me other students wouldn’t know. I believed her; it wasn’t until art class that Jennifer and Linda told me a lot of the girls at school knew about the camisole at least.

Since the Spring Spectacular, I have continued my studies and my work at Carrie’s store. More importantly to me, I’ve been getting ready for my prom and working on more teen outfits. I sent one into JC Harper for younger teens of bright color tutus that fasten to one of two styles of shorts or to one of two styles of skirts. I had also sent information with a rough drawing on three other outfits. Harper was excited about two of the outfits and the ways they could go with other fashions. She loved the idea of an upscale tutu for what she called serious fun. But she would not sign off on it until I did an older teen/college version. That needed to be done pronto.

Mom doesn’t like the hours I’ve been putting into getting all this done. I was glad to finally fed-x it to JC. I enjoy watching other girls in a whole new way and visiting girls in the cafeteria, ‘tween classes and at the store. I’ve actually gone to two dances as part of a group of girls. The things I learn and hear just visiting is fabulous.

I haven’t dressed as Andrea at school as I’ve been warned not to. I have worn some unisex sandals and painted my toes and fingers. I also have sweaters and tops that look good for Andrew or Andrea. Apart from sandals, a little jewelry, and nail polish; I put off cross-dressing unless I do so completely.

My first dinner date with Terra was a lot of fun and a little funny. Heidi and her boyfriend Jake double dated. Jake was happy we used two cars as he said being together for dinner had too much estrogen for him. I took that to mean I pass really well as Andrea and not only my clothing. He literally was the odd man out as we got caught up on looking for the shoes I should wear with my gown to the prom. The four of us were going to quickly shop for those shoes after dinner. Terra and I had the fun of doing it together and sending the results to Heidi, Leah and anyone else interested.

Andrea now has her own FB account; would you believe I had thirty likes on my shoes before I got home. I had been fearing Terra would see me as her little brother or sister when we went to the prom. It was okay as she made sure I could wear my gown to the prom. Once when she drove me home and walked me to the door, her kiss did not feel like a sister’s kiss.

Time in Art class is now like a Jekyll and Hyde production, I get along fantastically with classmates. However, Mr. Murphy says my artwork shows immaturity to it while giving me Bs and B-pluses. His demeanor is cool. He tells others I went out of my way to make him look bad. This was despite getting three blue ribbons at the Spring Spectacular and high praise from JC Harper and the university professor.

Ms. Miller, Carrie, and Harper are all telling me to keep a portfolio of all my artwork and designs. Mom even got a storage box for my stuff to fit under my bed. Mom told me the high school art teacher at Central High near Leah's University likes what she’s seen of my artwork.

I laughed the time I came home after a dance. I was wiped out from having so much fun as I was not used to dancing so much. Without turning on the lights to my room, I jumped tiredly onto a bed. I quickly could tell things were different so I got up and turned on the lights. My room was different, my worn out bed had been replaced. The room wasn’t totally a girl, but the mattress and comforter were fluffy soft. The print designs on the comforter were mine, of domestic kittens climbing on tigers and puppies climbing over wolves. JC had refined my images and set them into production as bedroom stuff.

It was midnight when she, JC, called and asked my permission to set the designs into production. I stayed awake another two hours talking to her. The comforters, sheets and pillow cases were the only non-clothes items to be marketed under my name. She told me the outfits I designed were being released in three test markets and via websites linked to her pages.

While we were visiting I went to one of her sites; I saw there her encouragement to try the new fashion of Andrea’s Threads. JC says, “You haven’t been to this site in the past three days. We have gotten thousands of hits. Our retailers are excited and we’re getting orders over the internet. One sorority has even agreed to post pictures from a night out the weekend of your prom.” JC tempered it all saying, “Don’t get too excited, we need to recoup our expenses and evaluate what it means for business. You will get credit and royalties for each design.” She said, “X-Press International is not too happy with me, the way I’m individualizing each design, but it’s what I do with my own work. It forces them to value you and the fashions you are designing. Don’t cry for them, they’ll enjoy the profits they make not only in sales but with others wanting to reproduce your stuff legally.”

“Just know the marketplace and us girls can be pretty fickle in loving something today and change tomorrow. Producing what they like this coming year and the next will be important to your future.”

“I talked to your Mom, pertaining my show and sites and others. We’ll let them be guessing about you Andrea for a while. But they’ll find and want to see you as Andrew as well. Andrew’s Threads or Andre’s, either could work well if you decide to go with your male persona. I do think you chose wisely in how to introduce them.”

Mom got me to agree to 80% of my royalties and initial earnings had to go into the bank for my schooling.

The next day I was surprised as my step-dad took me out for breakfast. We had placed our orders before we turned to what he wanted to visit about. “Andy, I am very happy for you and I don’t want to push you one way or another. I do want you to know my support of you and your Mom.”

I hadn’t been too excited about Dan marrying my Mom, but over the past year, he had become more of a dad than I had for the past 3-5 years. It was three years ago, my Dad had walked out on us, I guess Mom knew he was already cheating. I was invited to go with him, but when I learned Jeannette was pregnant with my little brother, I opted out. His new love interest, Jeannette being twenty-seven wasn’t as much of a problem for me as it had been for my sisters.

I can giggle now that I can imagine Jeannette in some of the clothes I was designing. Dad, on the other hand, had sent a scathing email as well as two phone text messages warning me against sissifying myself. He threatened to disown me when JC Harper walked into the picture. He still didn’t like what I was doing. He did petition the courts for him to have the power in decisions for my financial wellbeing. Unfortunately for him, his petition was thrown out.

I asked Terra out for our second date. There was an art show in our state capital and a symposium on the environment pertaining to rivers and forests, farms and communities. Terra would drive one way, Leah and her friend Brie were responsible for driving me home. We were invited to stay the night with Terra’s Aunt and Uncle if we got very tired. Terra’s Uncle Sid laughed at my being separated out. He said, “I guess you’re not girly enough to stop our niece from getting pregnant.” Terra was embarrassed and her Aunt was furious. But we had a beautiful day at the symposium. Leah and Brie had a good time shopping and the four of us enjoyed the art show together. Several emerging artist had given presentations during the day and were enjoying the art show when we walked around.

Leah checked a message board mostly as a lark but came back saying Janice Richards wanted me to contact her. She had a display of artwork in the art and media exhibit area. I asked Terra if it would be alright to visit and then text Janice. We soon were meeting with her.

Jan said, “Our mutual friend JC Harper, says we should get together.” Janice gave us a short show on how she could bring a girl walking out of the artwork and then walking into a landscape scene.” She had worked it so models wearing my outfits were walking and wearing three different outfits in one short presentation. Janice said, “It would be more powerful on your web-page in a fifteen-minute presentation. JC is sure it would catch the eyes of visitors to your sites.”

I told her, “I don’t have enough of a reputation to get them to watch a fifteen-minute presentation.”

Janice said and Brie agreed, “You can begin with a minute or thirty-second eye-catcher and give them three options to continue. I suspect the majority of female viewers will watch the whole thing and share it with others.” She says, “JC says I could do myself a favor connecting to you now. I told her if one of the people modeling your outfits is you, I’ll do it at scale rate.”

I turn to Terra and Leah, “Most of the clothes aren’t to the market sites yet; how am I to know if it’s worth it or my site will be worth it?”

Terra says, “They’re anticipating it will be. You could even use it as an advertisement at the mall or shops where your clothes will be as well.”

I say, “I couldn’t get it all together in time to do that!” Janice smiles, “I have one of your pink tutus and two different tops and a skirt and a pair of shorts if you’re game. Tomorrow morning we can do it here at 9:00 a.m. The exhibit opens at 10:00 and we’d need to be done and out of there before then. What do you say? JC says your royalties will more than cover it.”

I tell her, “My Mom already deposited the checks; 80% is tucked away.”

Janice Richards, “Check and see if you have a message from Harper?” I do and the message says that was the first part of your royalty check.

I look to Leah, “What do you think Mom will say?” Leah hands me her phone, “The phone’s ringing ask her.”

Somehow Janice streamed her presentation to Mom. It was not hard to gain Mom’s approval. Like me, Mom’s head is spinning with how fast things are going. “Honey, after the photo shoot tomorrow, your focus is on your prom and school. JC and X-Press can handle things. You’re Andrew/Andrea doing exams and papers until they are done. I will ground you if I have too. If your head gets too big, I’ll nail your bottom to a chair with nail polish.”

“But Momma.” Leah and Terra broke out laughing. Leah asked, “Where did Momma come from?”

Without hesitation, I said, “That’s what I’ve always called her in my head.”

Monday I was working back at Carrie’s store and a shy girl from my grade at school came in. She’s petite and was usually in the background. More than once I heard a classmate say upon noticing her, “Are you still here, I thought you had moved away.” It always hurt Lisa, though you wouldn’t know it. Douglas a senior boy, had finally worked up the nerve to ask someone to the prom. Lisa was happy until she began looking through the prom dresses. Either they were too expensive or not right for her, but I knew of one.

“Lisa hi! Why are you looking so down?”

I let her explain, “My Dad says, I’m too plain to spend money on. He said I could spend a hundred dollars and with Grandpa’s birthday gift I have fifty more. There are shoes, my hair and more. I was hoping something good might be on clearance. I’d get a simple dress but I don’t want to embarrass Doug Martin.”

I knew a white linen and lace dress that was deemed an old fashion prom dress. We had one of medium size but I quickly put out a search for one that was petite. I had an idea. “Lisa, I want you to look at one we have. I share an idea to fancy up one like it. It might not look it, but I get some good ideas at times and can design nice clothes. I know I don’t look like someone who could do that.”

Lisa Jenkins gruffly said, “Andrew, I’m shy, but I am a student here and I do know things. I even checked out JC Harper’s site. Do you think I can be your Cinderella or Eliza Doolittle?”

I giggle back, changing to Andrea though I’m still dressed as Andrew, “I’m Cinderella too unless one shares the gift, it can be lost.”

“I was thinking where lacework could go fully around the dress and also around the top and sleeves. If we’d weave some ribbon through there it would look very pretty and make it special.”

Lisa says, “Is there a way I could sew in some beads or bling onto it? I’m pretty good at hand sewing.”

“That would be a great help in making it special.” I asked, “Might you be open to helping me with some of my designs? I would like to be able to make some outfits up before I submit them.” Lisa’s face looks like I offered her something special. “Yes, yes, I would love to help you.” It was really a chance to be part of something and to show off a little.

While we’re talking, my phone receives a message a store, at Waterloo has two of the dresses and neither sold. They won’t exchange with Carrie, she needs to pay above wholesale and the shipping. Carrie dickers with them and it is to be here tomorrow.

I take my break to go with Lisa to pick out the ribbon and to see whether it will be beads, rhinestones or whatever to go with it. I learn in our time together that Lisa is also a whiz at doing embroidery work on her sewing machine. She’s now planning a stylized 'L' and a rose on each sleeve. She picks beads to compliment the ribbon. They will go under her breasts as well as near the bottom of the skirt. We agree to work on it tomorrow night and Wednesday.

I was excited when I got home to quickly tell my mother about Lisa and her dress. I’m surprised when mom is not pleased. “What about no more things to do, don’t you understand? Your own gown could use a little extra attention.”

“Momma, I thought you’d be happy I’m able to help Lisa?”

Mom gave me a hug, “It is nice to see the nice, warmer part of you blossoming. It is not that. You need to pace yourself; you are like a candle burning at both ends.” She took me by the hand and walked me to my room, I could tell she had more to share.

“Honey, I talked to my doctor, I have an appointment Thursday morning. I shared with her about you being Andrea. She suggested that you take my appointment and that I reschedule my own. She’d like to meet Andrea and hopefully be your doctor.”

“Momma, did Leah mention to you about me? I’m afraid my voice is going to start changing and I’d be growing the wrong way. I like being Andrea as well as a boy. I’m just concerned because I want to be able to continue to dress up and present myself as Andrea or Andrew. If I begin to fill out like dad or most guys, that would be hard.”

I walk behind my mother and change into some panties and a designer pair of jeans that are snug for me. I don’t change into a bra, but I do put on a girl’s top that I like to lounge in. I come back around taking out my ponytail and brushing it out. Mom has me scoot in front of her as she takes my brush and Andrea’s hairstyle begins to show more intentionally.

I show Mom my prom shoes again and ask, “What stockings should I wear with these and my dress?”

Mom tells me, “Look in your top drawer, I bought three different pairs thinking you’d pick out the right one for the prom.”

“Thanks, Mom, nice selection! I thought after the fashion show, it would be Prom and done! The Prom should be over and Andrew back to being himself. I now know things aren’t going back to that. I have my own girl/doctor appointment. I get my second pedicure. Can you believe I’m going to take half a day to go to a salon for the prom? Andy doesn’t do that it’s me.”

Momma says, “I am glad to hear you being happy about all of this. I like you being in touch with your new self.”

“Thanks, Momma for helping me to take my time. I’m going to help Lisa but I understand why you want me to slow down. I guess everything doesn’t matter if I don’t take time to delight in it.”

I awoke a little later than I would if I was going to school. I put on a robe and walked to the kitchen. Mom, Leah, and Dan were waiting for me. I got a cup of tea and yogurt blended with fresh berries. Andrew would have sprinkled on the berries and added sugar; Andrea is more mindful of how she’ll look in her gown.

Dad shares baseball scores while Leah reminds me to take a shower before my appointment. Leah and I talk about what I should wear, including sandals with no stockings for my pedicure afterward. I ask, “Momma, why do I listen to Leah when I usually argue with Heidi about the same things?”

Mom says, “You never saw yourself competing with Leah; she’s always been a big sister or like a mom that helped you. You’ve always been competing with Heidi. You were always unhappy if she could throw a ball further than you. Seemingly a younger brother’s ego doesn’t take to competing against his sister.”

I left to shower and get dressed, as Heidi was coming into the kitchen. I quickly gave her a hug and said, “I love you” and walked on. Heidi asked, “What just happened?” I guess that was the laughter I heard behind me.

Showering today, I don’t especially appreciate my boyhood, but I do wash enough to not have it stink. Leah lets me use her body wash and I love the fragrance. More importantly, is the feel of my skin afterward. While I’m still damp I spread two dots of skin lotion all over before getting dry.

Panties, a padded bra, skirt, and blouse, it is all simple enough but I take the time to make it look nice. My makeup is light, I change my earrings to simple hoops. I am comfortable up until I walk into the women’s clinic. Then I become nervous like I shouldn’t be here. I thought, being the bigger town next to us, I wouldn’t see people I knew. Rita and Bridgette are both here with their moms. Rita has a grin as she points me out to Bri. An empty chair is next to me and Rita is soon over and Bri follows. Rita lifts the edge of my skirt, “Everyday wear now?” She takes my hand, “What brings you here; becoming one of us?” I take a noticeable breath, she says, “Relax what happens here… kind of stays here.”

“Very comforting, this is my initial visit. Nothing’s planned, my Mom just thought Dr. Higgins should see me and give me a health check.”

Bri says, “I like Michele Higgins; she’s good in giving exams.” Conversation changes, Bri says, “I’m glad I don’t have to worry about showing off my prom dress. I bet you’ll be happy to have Mr. Murphy off your back. But are you happy to be going to the prom as one of us?”

I say, “I think, I’ve got everything ready. Terra and I are going to the same salon and this time I’m getting a perm.”

Bri and Rita get talking about what they’re wearing and their salon appointments. Rita’s the first to get called for her appointment, Bri’s next, but she says before she leaves, “Several of us have ordered one of your tutu outfits; would you go with us to a dance here?” Her smile brightens when I say, yes.

It is only a few minutes before the nurse who called for Bri comes out to get me. “Hello, young lady. Is it all right if I call you a young woman when you’re here like this?” I agree as she takes me into an exam room. “Before Dr. Higgins sees you, I have the standard questions for a first-time girl… patience.” Some are funny like, ‘Am I using anything for birth control. Have I had a period yet?’ She did take my vital signs and everything is good. She has me change into an exam garment. My bra is off, but I’m still wearing my panties.

She asks, “Can you tell me why you are here and wanting Dr. Michele to be your doctor?”

My Mom is sitting next to me and I squeeze her hand gently. “I’m becoming a designer for teen fashions and I want to be able to continue looking like a girl when I want to.” It took a lot to say that but it is like a weight is off when I’m done. Nurse Jane didn’t laugh that too was a plus.

“Well, you have no trouble looking like an attractive girl at this point. I had heard there was someone designing clothes, but I wasn’t sure it was true. Now I know, do you have any pictures of you and your work?” I got my purse and then my phone and showed her three, including me in my prom dress. “Is this young lady you?” I think she was delightfully surprised.

Dr. Michele is very nice to meet but she’s old. I’m suspecting forty. Thankfully she acts younger. I’m really embarrassed as she examines my penis and it gets aroused. “The quick blood lab indicates your testosterone has not fully elevated yet. If we’re to introduce a testosterone blocker, now is probably a good time. I will also expect you to see a clinical psychologist if we do this. Agreed?”

I ask, “You surprise me, you act like you do this stuff at times.”

Michele tells me, “It is more common with boys than as people think. Many boys are inquisitive and some go further in their exploration than others. It seems boys like you are more comfortable talking to me. I do like that you are taking a step at a time. You seem comfortable with yourself being in both gender worlds for now. I have two teen girls. They don’t know you’re my patient, but they both know about Andrea the designer. Debbie says you’re somewhere between everything cheap to break the credit card limit.”

I’m surprised while we were in that town my Mom stops at this grand old house that she says is an important business as well as a home. Mom has me go in with her. This section is immaculately clean and models of women’s breasts and various products are discretely visible. I can’t see them but I know at least one other customer is being talked with. Irene is a good looking older woman who comes out to see me. Mom tells her our name and she smiles in recognition, “Yes, you said she’d be coming but you said you’d bring a son.”

Mom says, “Andrea is my son and we’d like to get some breast forms for him, he’s going to a prom, soon.” We are taken back to another room where Irene has measuring tapes, boxes and a laptop ready to show what they do and have. I am asked to take off my blouse and bra. Irene is like a young grandma in her care of me. She has been in nursing. I agree that a teardrop shaped breast form would be good. It takes a time to get them well-fitted and nipples securely sealed onto them. Along with the breasts, Irene shows us a vagina gaff. “This is not in my usual area of expertise, but I can put it on now and show you how to put it on with someone’s help and how to take it off. …It appears you took your medication before coming.” It is my guess that is why I am not responding to her touching me.

I will be able to go to the bathroom while wearing the gaff, however, it will be as a woman until it comes back off. It is strangely nice to look down the front of my clothes and know I am safely tucked away. I’m excited by how much I look like a normal teen girl my age.

This time the pedicure is something to die for. I’m relaxed and enjoying it from the very beginning. My fingernails are done though they’ll be redone Saturday before the prom. Leah says my toenails may need to be redone if I don’t behave. I never liked doing individual things with someone before, but as Andrea, that has changed. I have a date with Terra tonight so she’ll be the first beside family to see my feet.

We go to a Chinese restaurant and eat light but share one another’s dishes. We went to Carrie’s first and then window shopped at a mall. I am a little surprised as our relationship seems to be changing. I always had a crush on her, and I felt like I was a young boy or girl next to her. Her hugs have changed that.

Friday, Mom has Heidi and me doing easy chores around the house. Mom went to work but calls home to check on us. Heidi, Leah and I have a girl’s time. We did an aerobic workout, surf sites on our smartphones. Heidi wants me to make a skirt and tutu for her. I decided it is now simpler to order it. I had gotten one special request to hand make on but she’s a ballet dancer and she wants a colorful change for fun nights out. She knew what she wanted and ordered two special tutu outfits. The design for that went into one of my special folders.

Saturday morning is special and having a restless night sleep was nerves and nothing more. I take a shower despite a bubble bath last night. It has been since Wednesday that Andrew saw himself dressed and looking back in a mirror. I wear an old but clean sweat-suit to the salon. I thought the appointment was at 10:00, but find I’m a half hour early. No problem I browse the hair and fashion magazines. Two hair magazines are current but the fashion stuff is older.

We’re at Terra’s salon and I get Christine as my beautician. Terra jokes, I did really good but got second best. Chrissy seems to go out of her way to spoil me. I have split-ends cut, some areas cut to style as we continue through what was to take an hour and a half. It goes too fast and I’m enjoying every minute. I love watching the curlers taken off and my hair brushed and styled. I swear it only took an hour but the clock says noon. I stayed to have my nails redone.

My parents rented a limousine for Heidi and me and our dates. Everywhere we go people are looking expecting two more guys to step out of the limo. Two times someone shows us a little disdain. One couple who had complimented on our gowns came back and took their compliments back after they realized we were a couple. I teased them asking, “Does it make any difference if we’re really a guy and a girl?”

The promenade starts at 5:00 p.m. and with Terra being a senior we are let out at the red carpet after 5:30 p.m. Lisa and Douglas are two cars behind us. I focus on enjoying this time with Terra. She has no shortage of family, friends, and admirers. It is the first time I have so many cameras clicking and flashing around me. Terra’s Mom and grandma ask for kiss photos. We both give air kisses that look very realistic I’m told.

We’re dropped off at Michael’s for our dinner, and Heidi and Greg go to rendezvous and eat with friends. I could have imagined sitting across a candlelit table with someone as beautiful as Terra tonight. I would never have imagined me as a girl beautifully adorned sitting across from her. She is complimentary of my dress and delicate appearance. She is more content with our being together than I am. She’s helping me to relax and enjoy our evening.

I tell her, “I’m taken with how beautiful you are. I’m glad, but I don’t understand why you settled for being with me. I am very thankful though.”

Terra says, “You still don’t get it, do you? You came in as a pain in the butt underclassman and a boy to boot. You were kind of raw in art and naïve when it came to being around a bunch of older girls. But when it came to drawing us and sketching clothes for us; it was like something in you clicked. You didn’t know tweed from silk, nice lace from boy scouts knots. You were like a little brother getting caught being where you shouldn’t be. You were even a snot-nosed, spoiled brat trying to get away with too much, but somehow you became loveable.”

“Once I saw you with Ms. Miller working on your gown, I knew I wanted to see you in it. I actually hoped you’d be your stubborn self and all this would happen. Did you know Ms. Miller invited JC and the professor? Wow, girl, you were at the right place at the right time.”

“When I decided I was letting go of Brad and not inviting him to my prom. I kind of laughed the first time I thought of inviting you. Jennifer joked I wanted to steal you from the cradle. But we both liked the idea of seeing you in panties and your gown.”

I didn’t eat half my meal as we talked, I was sure she didn’t know or care how excited she was making me. We did go to the women’s room there and she urged me to be a good girl so the rest of the night was just us and the prom.

I didn’t know four girls from our class plus me, who would make up a table of eight. Terra thought it was cute when another girl or two wanted to dance with me. She even initially said yes to Paul asking me for a dance, but it stopped there. I wasn’t comfortable with Paul and Terra had become tired of sharing me.

We found a small women’s lounge and we talked. “Hey Andrea, I really want it to be you and me the rest of the night. I’m even wanting to take you down to the shore and extend our time through this weekend. I don’t want to disappoint your parents, but I’m not always a good girl.”

I lightly giggle, “I think my mom won’t be angry if we don’t go too far.”

Terra whispers in my ear, others not to hear, “I want the girl in your dress. I want to make you a big girl. You’ve been a little flirty as a girl and I want to see if I can heat up your panties.”

I was now aroused in a whole new way and it went off the charts when she said. “Leah even packed a small overnight bag for you with one of her swimsuits and some lounging clothes. She thinks if I call your parents and promise to take care of you that it will be okay. That you’ll get to go with me.”

“It’s eleven and I told her I would call before midnight. Are you willing to grow up tonight? I won’t force you to do anything.” I couldn’t imagine what she was asking, but she had been exciting me since the beginning of the night.

I said, “Wow, Cinderella didn’t have this problem?”

Terra said, “Are you ready to discover Andrea; I think there’s a lot of girl in you?”

“I want to go with you, but I’m still Andrew too.”

Terra called my home, “Mrs. Stephens, I’d like to take Andrea to the shore. Several from the class are planning to share a place there. The other guys aren’t to be staying with us, but I’d like Andrea to if you trust me. …I’m glad Leah told you and prepared a bag for her brother. …We’ll call in the morning and let you know we are alright.”

After Jennifer joked with us, I felt bad that Terra wasn’t voted Prom Queen, Jennifer said it was because her prince looked like a princess. Jennifer and Linda were both happy I would be sharing the place at the beach with them.

Making out with Terra late that night into the morning was beautiful but confined to me as Andrea. Leah had not packed my bottle to remove my gaff. Leah did include a note: “You and Terra will have an equal chance of becoming pregnant tonight.”

Sunday two guys met Terra and I on the boardwalk, Terra introduced them as guys from the University. It took me the best part of an hour to warm up to the thought of being a foursome for a while. I was sure Terra was kind of teasing me until we went to a matinee movie. Lance and I sat away from Terra and Matt. The movie theater’s A/C was a bit cold and I physically warmed up with Lance. It’s the first time I kissed and snuggled with a guy.

Terra had saved a surprise for me after Lance and Matt had left…

To continue…

Terra and I were back to our rooms at the shore and having kissed and said goodbye to the guys. Terra says, “So Andrea you warm up to guys too. I want to apologize for the guys and my thinking I wanted one of them. It caused me to realize how much I really like you; it also caused me to wonder what Andrew is like.”

I say, “You already knew what I and other guys are like. I’m really offended that really hurt.” I walk-off to our room. I’m half hoping she’ll leave me alone, while even more, I’m hoping she’ll go out of her way to make amends. She’s at the doorway and pauses. I draw up in a ball on the bed not letting go of my tears and praying.

Terra had taken off her shoes so I did not hear her draw close. She gently sits on the edge of the bed and places a hand on my shoulder and then brings it up to my head. “I’m really sorry and I want to make it up to you.” She kisses my head and is near my ear whispering. I wait until her hand is coming down the side of my face and I turn to kiss and nibble on one of her fingers.

I look up between my eyelashes and hair asking, “How do you like me? How sorry are you?”

Terra’s eyes become soft with her smile, “I want to be your girlfriend; I’m worried I might have lost that chance… Is it alright if I close the door and try to make it up to you?”

I cozy up to her, “Too bad I don’t have my stuff; Andrew would like a chance to warm up to you.”

Terra says, “I know a way to undo that but your Momma doesn’t want me to do what I’m thinking. Anyway, Andrea, it’s you that I really owe.” She brings one of my hands up with hers as she begins unbuttoning her top. I help with the next buttons as I sit up to kiss her. She walks to the door and closes it. We have a great time making up, but it’s more a sensual time than Sexual, like the two of us are in a union of spirit. I ended up being engulfed with the biggest wave of ecstasy as I'm not used to such feelings. Even when I thought it reached its zenith Terra delights in taking me further. I can’t remember much after that. Was it then or shortly after that time the lights kind of went out? Instead of black darkness, it was an explosion of color and feelings. When I woke up we were wrapped together warm in a blanket and I was wearing nothing.

My eyes open and I’m back in the present. Terra has a warm damp cloth, cleaning me the best she can. “To do it properly I really need to take your gaff off, but I didn’t want to do it without you knowing.” She has cotton cloth in a solution that she uses to go around the edges of the gaff. It took time to seep under as she lifted little by little. She was gentle and I was very appreciative. She kissed me, “Was the little boy frustrated being hidden away?”

It was only seven Sunday evening, we were arriving at my home when J.C. Harper called. Terra asked JC, “Did you see how beautiful Andrea was in her gown at our Prom?” We were talking about that for a long while. JC complimented our gowns and how good we looked together.

JC finally changed the conversation; “Andrea have you heard how well the debut of your outfits went? They were hot items in the D.C./Baltimore and Chicago/Milwaukee test areas. They were going fair in Seattle until the Sorority weekend competition went viral. As those were going viral girls came for your tutus and fell in love with your other selections.”

“I asked your Mom if two people could come to tape you and your fashions. Thursday or Friday, I tried to get you out of school but your Mom insisted it could not be until after school is over. I don’t think she understands how important this is to us in the fashion world?”

I tell her, “My Mom is going to insist on school first. Andrea can’t go to school anyway.”

People who don’t like me started to make their presence known. I would like to go to school as me two of the last days, but even I’m not sure that would be a good idea now.”

“JC, I was wondering if I could have a little show here at my school or town after the last day.”

JC fires back, “You get out at noon then right? I was wondering if the girls from your art class would help with a show there. Say 3 to 5 p.m. in the afternoon with the display actually opening at 1:00 or 1:30?”

Terra, Jennifer, and Linda are now listening behind me and scream, “Yes, we’d love to help her!” …Jennifer asks, “Can we keep what we show off?” …Terra asks, “How about the sundress design she wants to do?”

JC teases, “That would be great to kick off showing them that day. But you would probably have problems there if there would be cameras getting some pictures. We could move it to your community building and have four makeshift dressing rooms.”

Terra says, “Us graduates will already be out, but Andrea and Carly would need an hour and a half to get ready.”

Harper suggested to the seniors, “I’m sure you older girls can help Carly and Andrea to start getting ready the night before. Things like toe and fingernails, hair can be pinned up and then brushed out and eye makeup started. It would be like a tease to what’s coming.”

“I don’t think my mom will allow that.”

Harper says, “Leah has already agreed to come to visit Ms. Miller the last hour; she’ll actually be helping to get you ready. Two of Xpress’s makeup and fashion people will be with her to help you and whoever needs or wants it.”

I ask, “You couldn’t send a small team could you?”

JC says, “Don’t ask and I won’t need to tell you, and then you wouldn’t be lying to your Momma..." But the corporation says, “We’re opening in many new locations beginning that Friday. You’ll be in New York on TV the previous Monday morning…”

“I can say, But you didn’t ask me.”

JC says. “I just got off the phone from communicating with your Mom. I thought if she wouldn’t agree there would be no purpose to pursue it with you. Am I right?”

I am literally shaking as I just cut off the call from JC; Terra sees it and pulls me over and holds me as we’re now seated. I’m seated on her lap as I turn to Terra in tears. “I’m not ready to be out in public.” Terra, Jenn, and Linda are kind of supporting me, yet also giggling under their breath. I ask, “What’s funny about this. I said I’m not ready to be out and you see me shaking and in tears.”

Jenn speaks up, “But you’ve already outed yourself. We understand being in front of a TV camera can make you anxious, but thousands of other girls are already buying your clothes and have seen you whether it’s here or on websites.”

Linda says, “We’re jealous, but we’re still willing to help you. How would you like to be a seventeen-year-old girl, graduating from high school? You started as a boy this year and now you're modeling your own fashion line of girls' clothing. Frankly, I have more trouble seeing you as Andrew than Andrea.” I’m now giggling with them.

Mom, Heidi, and Leah greet us. Leah gives me a hug, “Looks like you are a women’s fashion expert little brother. I like the outfit you’re wearing. Did you and Terra have a good time at your prom?”

“I think things are only going to get busier once you have your exams done.” Mom moves between us wanting a hug. She then takes me by the hand and asks others to give her a moment. She takes me to her bedroom, hoping others won’t follow.

She says, “Sit young lady, I would like to hear what you thought of the prom and your weekend. We took some really nice pictures at the promenade. I will share them when we have the time to enjoy them. Right now I want to hear from you and how you enjoyed yourself. Don’t worry, I don’t want to know all that you did nor the details.”
.
“Mom, I was afraid I wouldn’t dance well that I might come across as a klutzy boy.”

Mom said, “I heard from Heidi that it was her younger sister that was there all night. I am really happy for you; I know that was what you were hoping for.” Mom helped me to take my gown out of the plastic protection to make sure it was hung up properly. “That is a very nicely made gown, Andrea. It held its shape very well.”

I tell Mom, “Mrs. Miller helped me learn more than little sewing and fashion tips. I've learned the importance of taking care, doing the little things that helped the gown to wear so well.”

Mom was keeping a list of who I needed to thank. Mrs. Miller was already on the list but there were now several things to thank her for. “Mom, you know about the show here where JC wants me to introduce my fashions here. I plan to require that they allow Carrie to be a retailer for my clothes here.”

Mom says, “I think that would be a very good idea. It would take care of us needing sales permits and sales tax and everything that goes with it. JC said she’s going to ask the girls in your Art class to be modeling your outfits.” Mom knows the designs that were sent in and which were to be in production. She and I went over the outfits and which ones I was going to ask each girl to wear. Each one was getting a tutu outfit to wear as their second outfit.

Heidi knocks on the door, saying “It would be rude for you two to stay in the room any longer.” Jennifer, Linda, and Carly are soon saying good-bye. Terra felt a need to get home, but she stayed longer as Leah began to show the pictures that were taken. There was even a picture of Terra and me in the capital city’s Sunday newspaper. Caption, “Boy designer makes his mark in lipstick and skirts.” Mom said that and a few other pictures were getting a lot of internet likes.

I asked about the sorority that was to be wearing my collection of tutus. Leah jokingly says, “They may be too over the top for you to be seeing.” The sorority girls had an awesome, over-the-top time, but I didn’t see anything too out of line. Mom did enjoy my facial expressions and hands as I looked at everything.

It dawned on me I hadn’t seen Dan and my stepbrother, “Mom where’s Dad and Jay?”

She says, “They went over Riverside to check some things out. They stopped to eat on their way back.

Mom says with me closely listening, “Things are not quite decided. Leah’s willing to be in a different apartment, but she said it could be the same house or apartment building. I would plan to come once a week for a night or more as I need to make sure Andrew stays focused on his studies and knows how to keep an apartment.”

I ask, “But I’d be free to be Andrea or Andrew, wouldn’t I? Otherwise, I could stay here and be Andrew.”

After Terra had left, I showered and was putting on a nightgown and going to bed early. I could hardly stay awake. Then I heard Dad arrive back home. I was interested in hearing what he and Jay found or didn’t. I put on my robe and made sure I was proper and went down to greet them.

I bounced over to my step Dad and gave him a big hug. I was going to do the same to Jay until he stepped back and raised his hands. He said, “I guess it was wishful thinking that I’d get my brother back.” Mom and Leah are amused.

“I am your brother, just dressed in girl mode. I thought it went better with the hairdo I got Saturday morning for the Prom.” I said, “I tried to say hi to you and Paige at the prom but you were avoiding me. I just wanted to comment on how nice Paige looked in her gown?”

Jay said, “She has ordered one of your tutu outfits and asked me if you’d autograph it? I hope you’ll say, ‘No!’” I asked why and he said, “Whether it’s as my brother or sister I don’t want your signature on her buns when she’s wearing it.” Everyone laughs at that point.

Dan says, “If you want to hear about where you and Leah might be living, sit down and listen.” Mom poured coffee for Dan and ice tea for several of us. He had Jay’s tablet and began showing us several pictures. “One was an old house, two were apartment buildings. The two we liked are the old house and this apartment building, but both of them were for sale. So if you just rented them things could be changing real soon.”

Jay jumped in saying, “We thought if we bought the old house; there would be a lot of maintenance and upkeep expenses. It would have little chance of increasing in value. And we’d still have an old house. This apartment building has eight apartments, with four of them being two-bedroom apartments.”

Dan smiled at Mom as he said, “We put a fifty thousand dollar deposit on the Rosewood Apartment buildings.”

Mom says, “That’s funny because I didn’t get any phone calls.”

Dan said, “I called and even text you but either I didn’t get through or get a message back. I can pull the offer back tomorrow, we’d only lose $500. He has to wait to cash the check as I’ll need to cash in an investment to cover the check.” Dan hugs Mom, “It should work well. It will even give Leah and Andrew some responsibilities to help cover their expenses. I didn’t know if Andrea would be wanting to invest some of her own money and put the building in her name? She’ll be sixteen and if she incorporates it; it be entirely business.”

Mom says, “It would be Andrew and me. There is a chance that Andrea is just temporary. Andrew wouldn’t want to explain when he’s forty why he has an apartment building listed under Andrea.”

Leah says, “I understand what you mean, but it’s hard to imagine that tonight with your son with a permanent and in a nightgown.”

The discussion goes on for a while; something about Mom having a room in my apartment… Visiting now and then and a doorway to Andrea’s apartment.

I go to school the week as Andrew while my hair is in a ponytail that screams girl. The following Tuesday begins final exams. This will be the first year I am doing well enough to be on the B Honor Roll. The one B that disappoints me greatly is in Advanced Art. Ms. Miller had given me an A for Home Economics. And Carrie is very pleased to have me back to work.

It is the following Monday, I am in New York City with JC Harper. We’re on a morning show talking about what’s exciting in women’s fashions. Norah asks, “Andrea, so how does a male student go from being a novice in women’s fashion to making the splash as Andrea that you are making?”

Today, I’m not directly acknowledging Andrew. “I had just transferred schools and only heard part of what was being asked of us in Advanced Art. I accept blame with my attention deficit for the beginning of the problem. But I draw well and the idea of designing an outfit to me only made sense if it was for a girl. Guys fashions for my way of thinking are blah.” They show my gown as I explain, “This was much nicer to draw, design, and put together. You’re right it was all new to me, but I got a job working at Carol's Towne Shop, a woman’s clothing store. I learned a lot if you notice closely the gown has more colors and different fabrics than usual. Plus I fell in love working with other teen girls and what they’re wearing.”

“When I realized my mistake, I didn’t really deal with it well. I kind of set up a conflict with my Art teacher that I kept putting off. Mr. Murphy required each of us to wear our own outfit in our Spring Art exhibition and some special event. Needless to say, I didn’t make a passable girl. But instead of backing down or getting embarrassed like Mr. Murphy was trying to do. I decided to surprise everyone as Andrea and Andrea’s Threads began.”

Norah asks, “But Andrew is the one going to school. How difficult is it for you to relate to the other students, especially boys?”

“Andrew’s art and home economics classes were completely girls except for him. When it came time to model my gown. I didn’t want it to be a boy in the gown so I wore it as a girl. I was fortunate to have JC Harper there. Once again I found myself as a novice; JC Harper is so amazing to work with.”

Norah says, “Andrea, what do you have to show us for this summer?” Terra, Jennifer, and Linda are welcomed out one at a time. I too am impressed with the outfits, but it's my friends sharing the time with me that excited me most.

I as Andrea says, “There are so many sides and ways girls can enjoy the way they look. Instead of worrying about what others might say, they with their friends can enjoy themselves.”

Norah breaks in, “We’ve heard from other friends that say you go out of your way for other girls. One friend said you helped her take some simple dress and make it into a special Prom dress… Another girl spoke of being at odds with her grandmother. That you pleased them both and each of them bought an extra dress that they love. I am told these are not isolated incidents, how do you do that?”

I say, “I’m not sure, it’s just that they open their lives to me. They’re the ones who decide if it’s good or not. The girls in my art class were so attractive and yet each was different. It helped me to see different possibilities in different girls.”

Norah says, “Earlier before you were on, someone saw you sketching and thought you were drawing me with a different outfit. Would you be willing to show us?”

“I’d be happy in showing you later but it was just a fun thing.” …Norah says, “Well, JC Harper showed it to me and said it is different for you. Here, I think it’s really good, but what’s different about it?”

“Well, for one, it’s a Sundress and I hadn’t designed sundress yet. Two, it’s not for you on screen but a fun time out with your children. I could imagine you getting away with your girls. If you can’t enjoy that this time is less important”

Norah says, “Wow, I like the dress, the colors, and your idea of relaxing with my children. What do you think JC, can you get them to make this dress for me?”

JC says, “If they don’t, you have the designer right here. She could make you a designer original.” Gale was gone, but I did leave a drawing for her.

I found out I was not excited to be in the limelight. I liked talking to Norah and others but I’d rather do it more informally. The idea of doing a sundress for her would be more fun if it isn’t purely business.

Tuesday I met with Trey Michaels as my counselor, I thought it was to be Dr. Hannah Sinclair. I was uptight in seeing him and was tired from the long day, the day before in New York City. I had taped two other shows. Trey is a licensed psychologist but by the end of the hour, our time was done in more ways than just today’s appointment. I went as Andrew, when Trey said, “I think it is Andrea, I need to meet with.” I knew we were done.

Dr. Sinclair was now willing to meet with me, but that would be four weeks from now. Well, I didn’t have that great of a need for a counselor. Thankfully Dr. Higgins was disappointed with my experience too.

Dr. Higgins suggested, “If you’re going to live near North State University and go to Central City High School. I suggest you contact Dr. Saga Dotter. That she is a Psychiatrist with one of her specialties being in gender identity.

I pointedly asked, “So you think that I’m sick too?”

Dr. Michele Higgins smiles as she came and sat across from me. “Please listen to why I’m suggesting Dr. Saga Dotter. She is from Sweden and addresses gender issues in a positive light. We’ve talked and she told me you are unique, but not sick. She said, if anything, you have a healthier spirit than most. She says she is tightly booked between being a professor and her practice. But she would love to see you as a patient beginning any time.”

“My Mom says “Wednesdays are best for me. Do you think we could get an appointment with her the Wednesday after next?”

When I finally got to school most classes were very casual. Ms. Miller asked if I or other students would talk about their experiences this year. Lisa Jenkins remarked, “Ms. Miller I know Andrew is the most obvious one who benefited by the openness of this class. But you gave all of us the space to grow in many areas. My achievements are much smaller but they’re very important to me. I know other girls feel the same.”

It was a short while later Ms. Miller asked, “Andrea, as you opened up this year, did you become friends with other girls in the class. Do you think that has or will impact your career and as an individual?”

I was surprised, to say the least, by the teacher recognizing me as Andrea, when I’m visibly Andrew. I was ready to take it as a breach of my personal space. Looking at Ms. Miller I could see she was permitting me to be Andrea. She was wearing one of her traditional long crocheted vests. I asked if I could borrow it. I had a stick of lip gloss and a small brush in my planner. It took a few minutes, as the class continued to share, but I wanted to present myself as Andrea if I spoke.

I said, “I still don’t know all the different knots in crocheting; likewise I’m still growing in being me and in designing clothes. It has been here and the art class that I found the freedom to explore women’s fashions. Most of you are better than me with various things. I don’t want to be you nor to be totally a girl, but you have allowed our friendships to be my bigger lesson for my growing to being me.”

Gwen a freshman asked, “Have you as Andrea been kissed by a boy, or is it something you’d like?”

I said, “I learned not to say never, but so far I’m more interested in being one of the girls than I am in boys.”

Gwen says, “I don’t think you answered my question. I suspect you’re uncomfortable in saying.”

Her friend, Beverly asked, “If that is true I would be happy to arrange for a double date. I know a boy or two who would love to kiss you on a date. Maybe supposedly watching a movie.”

Someone said, “I think she’s afraid of hurting her relations with Terra.”

After school, I enjoyed being in a small crowd of girls. Lisa and her friend Tish were writing notes back and forth. Terra’s arms wrapping around me rubbed against my nipples. I am sure she knew what she was doing to me…

To continue…

Characters:
Andrew, Heidi, Leah Stephens;
Michele Stephens-Johnson – Mom; Dan Johnson – Step Dad
Jay Johnson – Stepbrother
Mr. Murphy – Art Teacher; Principal Valarie Hayes.
Terra, Linda, Jennifer, Sarah, and Clara -Older Students in the Advanced Art class
Caroline, Carrie – Owner/manager of the women’s Towne Shoppe
Ms. Andrea Miller – Teacher, Home economics, Family Life class
JC Harper and
Girls from school Beverly, Eve, Gwen
Grandmother Elizabeth Hollister
Granddaughter Sharon Hollister
Sandra is a friend and classmate of Sarah’s
Lisa Jenkins
Doug Martin
Dr. Michele Higgins, Debbie Higgins one of her daughters.
Bridgette and Rita students from high school

There's four days where we’re taking final exams or need to be in class; meeting state regulations that we have so many school days to make a full schedule. I guess, it doesn’t matter if you’re doing something worthwhile or not. There was a group of us, when we're not taking exams, we work on projects in Ms. Miller’s room. Patterns and material there were half their usual cheap cost.

Lisa Jenkins has become a closer friend and she's encouraged me to wear a camisole and whatever Andrea wanted under my Andrew clothes. Tuesday, it was more obvious after I had two exams. I used one of the changing rooms in Ms. Miller’s room to change into a skort, to get around the dress code, along with a nice top.

Ms. Miller asked me, “And what do you think you’re doing? Do you want to get me into trouble?”

“No, Ms. Miller, I’m willing to change, but I was hoping I could wear these shorts.” She smiled, “If someone in the main office says skorts aren’t shorts you will need to change. I’ll support your decision for now.” Lisa and Gwen, thanked Ms. Miller before I could.

Seven boys wore skorts on Wednesday and were made up by their girlfriends, and there' another dressed by a sister. A handful of other guys were in girl’s shorts or slacks with different amounts of makeup accessories and different tops, but one could tell they did their own work. Two boys on the baseball team wore my tutu outfits with the spandex shorts. One was challenged to go home and change. His mother called the principal, “He had my blessing to wear the tutus as long as he did not get derogatory or do anything to be demeaning. Since you did not complain anything about that I want him to stay and take his 1:00 exam. If you excuse him to come home after that we’ll consider that his school day.”

Principal Hayes tried saying no, but the mom said she would formally protest if needed. That settled that.

I had altered one pattern and used two pieces of fabric to make a needed sundress. I had cut out the pattern yesterday and after school. Today I cut the golden orange fabric for the skirt and a floral print for the top of the dress. Most thought I was out of my mind with the combination until I started to put them together. I had kept the two pattern pieces away from each other until I took them home for the night. My Mom and my sister helped me with the backing and tucking the darts.

I had also taken pictures with a camera setup I had made. The dress wouldn’t be finished till the next day but was far enough along I could model it and send pictures off to JC.

Thursday I had finished the sundress and kept it on to model it in Art class. I don't know if Mr. Murphy was serious or making an excuse to change his attitude toward me. Whatever he said he’d changed my Art grade to an ‘A’. I jumped up and hugged him and somewhere along the way, I became one of the Murphy girls. I didn’t really like that but I liked getting the A. And I do like the times I feel like one of the girls with the class. The ones I made from Ms. Miller’s class, I thought were better, more creative.

We're soon in Ms. Miller’s room and I took Terra aside. “Terra, maybe I shouldn’t be asking this of my girlfriend but…”

She interrupts, “Andrew, Andrea is breaking the mold, isn't she? I don’t want you going too far nor flirting with getting in trouble. …What’s your mother going to say about it if I line up a date for you with a guy?” She giggled at my startled look, “That is what you want about talk isn’t it?”

I asked, “How did you know?”

Terra said, “I heard you say something about it yesterday when you were talking to JC. You were saying you're head over heels about me but you’re too young to be getting that serious. …Well, I’m going to college and frankly, I can’t see myself going around campus with a high school student when you're there, whether it’s a guy or a girl.”

“You and JC were talking about you going to some social events with me, or sometimes with a guy. I don’t want us being at odds with each other. I was wondering, what if, I introduced you to the guy and we double dated. I thought by the end of tomorrow you might be ready to unwind and celebrate Andrea’s Threads with a dinner out and some dancing, the four of us.”

“Travis Milner is a senior over at Plainfield High, I’ve gone out with his brother Justus before. I called and ask them if they’d go out with us tomorrow night. Travis is a free spirit and he knows who you are. He said, ‘He’d enjoy going out with Andrea, but won’t go out with Andrew.’”

I say, “You mean I have a date with this Travis guy for tomorrow night if I want.”

Terra says, “Yes, but we can talk about that later; we need to get you ready for your exhibition at the City’s Community Civic Center.”

Leah is there to say hello to Ms. Miller and to help with my change over to Andrea. She introduces me to Cyndi and Marti both from X-Press. It will be twenty minutes before four others from X-Press come in. They’ll all help at the exhibit, but are here now to help me and our models. One area has been curtained off as Leah and Marti are to help me put on some breast forms.

I have stripped down and I’m halfway through getting on the breast forms when the noise in the classroom changes. What we did not want, happened. I made out the voice of Principal Hayes talking to Ms. Miller. Once the second breast was securely in place I was up and the table folded and placed against the wall. The blending of the breast seems and changing into a beautiful bra were done well but in haste. I was pulling over my printed top. When Valerie Hayes announced she was looking in.

She said, “I knew a girl needed more time to get ready than you had left yourself between school and the exhibition.” She smiled, “I like your outfit, you have good tastes, Andrea.”

I interrupt and ask if she’d like a makeover. Cyndi says, “We have one outfit that would suit you, along with the makeover.”

I ask her, “Principal Hayes, I’d appreciate if you would try and see if you like it?” She tells me it wouldn’t be right.

I giggled, “Why don’t you go and dismiss school for the year. Sometime before 4:00 please come and change into what she has for you and enjoy the makeover, after your work.”

Leah says changing the subject, “I didn’t see Andrea’s blouse on any of the sights, and I’d love to have it.”

Cyndi smiles as she says, “X-Press produces some of your sister’s clothes exclusively for her. Most models and designers don’t like everyone to be able to copy their complete wardrobe. There are some others we hope you love just as well.” JC had already picked out a nice dress for Leah to model along with a rainbow set of tutus, specially made for Leah, Heidi and me, as Andrea. Our skirt or shorts we’re different colors of the rainbow tutu.

Thursday's exhibition was exclusively promoted through the school, only friends of students from the Central High had come. A dozen or more students made use of the makeovers by the X-Press staff. Cyndi and Marti made sure the makeovers were age-appropriate. Well within three years, they were.

Lisa Jenkins did her detail work on ten or so outfits. We took pictures of every outfit so product people could decide how hard it would be to produce in significant quantities, economically. Lisa needed to sign off on anything we produced.

It was near closing when a woman I didn’t recognize came through the door and Mom was with her. Mom said, “Andrew and Terra, I want to introduce you to Dr. Paula Haverford, she’s the Superintendent at State Center Schools. She was hoping to meet with you over a late dinner.”

I look down at my rainbow tutu, “I can’t believe I’m going to change into another outfit.”

Terra lightly laughs, “Maybe it would be easier if it were Andrea’s Threads?”

“Maybe easier but not happening.” I quickly pick out what I want to change into and head for a changing room. “Leah and Terra, you should change too.”

Mom says, “Paula just wanted to take you and me out.”

“Then Terra and Leah can take my crew out to dinner as thanks. I’m going out to the Credo Club tomorrow night, so tonight has to be somewhere else. Isn’t Dad invited?”

Paula smiles, “Yes, he was invited but your Mom says he won’t be home until late tomorrow.” Mom nods her head in affirmation.” Ms. Haverford made a quick call, “Andrea’s coming with her mother.”

We went to the Country Club and this time we had a private area. Heather their Art instructor was one of three others who met with us. Heather says, “I went with my daughter to the Civic Center and we were both greatly impressed.”

I scanned in my mind, “Is your daughter out in the restaurant by the window?”

Heather looked in bewilderment, “I think so, why? I mean you’re very observant.”

I tell them, “I’d very much like if she came and ate with us. I would like someone close to my age.” Heather looks to Paula to make sure it’s okay. Paula looks at me and my Mom, before saying okay. Sheryl is soon with us.

Ms. Hannah Stein and Jennifer Hopkins are the others. Hannah would be my faculty advocate and coordinate special programs. Jennifer's a literature and composition instructor. They come across as college staff in a high school program. Their first priority is to let me know I would be welcome and receive support from them. Dressing and being received as Andrew and Andrea was quickly stated to be no problem. One giant plus is taken care of.

Heather and Ms. Stein both invoke JC Harper’s name, as they underscore their hope that I will be a serious student. While I’ll have plenty of time to pursue what I want. JC told us, “You’re being a free spirit is not a license to be ignorant if I’m to be your mentor. Discipline in your studies will help in you being a professional, meeting others and building a career.”

I got into conversations with Heather, Jennifer, and Sheryl as we ate. I was sure I could relate well as either Andrea and Andrew. Jennifer encouraged me to make sure Andi’s getting nurtured too. That was an unexpressed plus and it sealed my transferring to State Center.

Friday, I slept in until 7:00 in the morning but felt a need to get up and check the inventory at the Community Center. Carol was there along with ten new boxes that had come overnight. Marti and Cyndi wanted to take charge, but Carol informed me, “Once the inventory has arrived, we should be the ones to count and check our inventory and new shipments. It is not that you don’t trust them. But if something is wrong they might have a conflict of interests. This end is our business and they are to be here as our support help. That should be enough.”

“I appreciate their help and I like some of their ideas. But if it is okay with you, we’re the ones responsible once things get here.”

Carol complimented me, “I like what you’re wearing and your makeup. Who helped you this morning?”

I ask, “Should I take it as a compliment if I did, or is something wrong?”

Carrie says, “It is purely a compliment, but it was enough of a change that I wasn’t sure if you had help.” I had a longer skirt because of the air conditioning, but it was unbuttoned over half the way up my left leg. I thought it was attractive while not being overboard. I figured I could model something else if it became too warm or cumbersome. Truth be told I’m liking how easy it is being Andrea. I did change into more comfortable heeled sandals as the day went on. Then I made one more change of outfits.

I enjoyed many of my classmates taking interests in my designs. Moms and younger teens to girls around ten years old and older came today to explore some of the new clothes we got in. There is a tutu line for younger girls that is fun yet more age-appropriate for them. Mrs. Anders, one of my neighbors brought her two daughters and two nieces and her younger sister.

Mrs. Anders had heard from her daughters how I sometimes dressed, but today was her firsthand experience in meeting me as Andrea. We took time to sit in a courtesy area and Melody Anders was the one who served me a tea that she knew I liked as Andrew. “Thanks, Mrs. Anders that is very thoughtful of you.”

She asked, “Would it be okay if I asked you to call me Melody when you’re Andrea. I'd like either of you to visit at our home?” I knew it was important to her and she was recognizing me as an adult and an equal. I liked that.

I would have liked to take longer but I had learned from Carol ten minutes was usually long enough. The last hour we were open, Carol suggested and I complied that I sign and give away many of the posters. I was surprised that people were interested to get them signed by me. I signed one, kissed it and set it aside for my Mother.

It was soon time to close things at the Community Center and get ready for my night out. I text Terra, only to discover I did not see her come in. We set our dinner time a half-hour later than planned. I now knew better the time it took to refresh and dress as Andrea. I had chosen the sundress I made earlier in the week. I had it laid out on my bed when I took my shower. Mom was holding and admiring it with Leah when I came back into the bedroom. Leah had seen it, but Mom was tickled. I had taken a basic pattern and designed something fresh and new from it.

I was smart enough to excuse her as I changed into my outfit as I was uncomfortable showing her the panty and bra I was wearing with it. Leah said, “That was wise on your part, but you have me worried a little with you wearing them to go out with two guys.”

“Thanks for the concern Sis, but my only reasoning is to enjoy the comfort as I relax and enjoy what we accomplished.”

I don’t think Leah understands how important her compliments and just being here means for me. She gave me a hug, commenting, “Andrea, I am so proud of you. You deserve a wonderful night out. I saw the poster you signed and gave to Mother. You do so many little things well along with all you’ve accomplished this year. …I think I’m going to enjoy you being a State Center and us being in the same apartment building. But know, I’m going to continue to be your big sister and protect you, little brother/sister.”

Leah asks, “What was your first impression in seeing Travis?”

I’m now upset, “You knew the guy with young Amy was Travis and didn’t tell me? What were you thinking?”

“Travis brought over his sister Amy to see your clothes and possibly buy some. Travis said, ‘When he saw how busy you were. He decided not to take you away from your customers and the publicity people. He didn’t want to get caught up in that.”

I said, “But when I was helping Amy someone could have told me who he was. He didn’t even introduce himself. Can you believe that?”

Leah said, “You were already more girl in seeing him when you didn’t know who he was. Look at you now, it surprises me how much of a girl my brother is just in talking about a date. Are you going to be alright?”

I say, “Leah, you got it wrong. I am not interested in him as a boy as much as how other girls might see him. I’ve stepped into a girl’s world and it is helpful for me to understand my clients. I am way more attracted to Terra, but even there I’d rather learn to be special friends.”

Heidi came in behind me, “I am not sure Andrea if you’re trying to fool Leah or yourself? I think Leah and I better watch after you. I am glad I’m going somewhere else to college so I can get away from this nonsense.”

“Hey, I don’t need this grief. I just want a quick shower and to get ready to go out for dinner and celebrate. Mom said we’re celebrating as a family tomorrow night or Sunday after church.” My outfit is spread out on my bed and I asked Leah to tell Mom I wanted her help after my shower.

It was a quick shower so to speak, I shampooed and conditioned my hair. My gaff should have been changed last night, now it was essential. I have learned not to use perfume in place of good hygiene. Might be TMI, but it’s essential for a boy like me.

“Mom, I need your help in making sure I get my gaff on properly. I don’t want to embarrass myself with anything unexpected showing up.”

Mom giggles lightly as she has me lay down. This is a better gaff and allows me to go to the bathroom like a normal girl while tucking things securely out of the way. Mom says, “You’re not expecting your dinner and time out with a boy is going to excite you, are you? Maybe I should be keeping you home.”

“Mom, I need and want to get out and relax, celebrating the exhibit. It is all innocent fun. But Travis was with his little sister. It wasn’t until he was leaving that I learned the attractive guy was him. I helped his sister Amy and no one said anything. He’s a bit of a hunk and it hit me that I’m going to be seen going out with him." It was like I’m in girl mode and was excited.

I felt better not having it as a secret from my Mom and have my feelings back under control. I enjoy quickly getting dressed and my makeup is done. I am trying to see myself as one of the many girls enjoying my clothes and getting ready for a date. I know that Travis would be good for almost any girl’s ego.

I don’t know how much of what we sold today, but it is more than enough celebrate. More fashions are due in tomorrow morning at Carole’s Dress Shoppe.

I’m soon on my painted tiptoes looking out for Justus and Travis to arrive. Mom insists I sit down and not act like a young girl. My red and blue shirt over a cotton cream color skirt goes well with the blouse. They’re from another collection that has just gone into production.

The doorbell rings and I jump as I had not heard anyone drive up or come up to the door. My two and a half-inch heels almost bring me up closer to Travis’ height. Though I’m now 16 I feel younger and shy next to this eighteen-year-old guy. He smiles and I know I’m excited again being Andrea. I almost have to skip with his longer strides; we’re soon walking to the car. I was embarrassed as Mom told him. “Take care of my daughter and return her safe and sound. …Andrea, have a good time Honey.” Gez Mom!

It seems funny to be dressed as Andrea in the back seat of a car. The seats are close and the inside is cool as the day has been hot outside. Justus is driving and Terra compliments how I look as does Travis. I find myself scooting closer to Travis to stay comfortable as my arms have goosebumps.

Credo’s Club is just a short drive and someone opens my door allowing me to scoot out. Luckily I am a good girl making sure my skirt does not ride up as turn before I get out. One camera clicks and then another flash and so on, and I almost forgot that JC told me it would happen. Travis comes around and I take his hand. We make our way when I hear someone say, “They make a cute couple.” I don’t disagree, though I see it as being funny that I’m the girl in this case. Soon inside I give Travis a kiss on a cheek saying thanks.

Terra and Justus are behind us, and we’re greeted by Morey, the owner. Travis asks if he has the corsage. It is quickly produced and Travis pins it on me. Again pictures are taken as they will be now and then, but nothing posed. Morey leads us to a table saying, “If you don’t mind this table will be your regular table, Andrea?” There are my name and a picture that look like it was from earlier today. He says, “If you would get one professionally done at your prettiest I’d be happy to change it.” He hands me one to sign saying it will replace the other. There are many hanging around and autographed that I had not noticed before by a number of celebrities and music groups.

I turn to Terra now sitting to one side with Travis on the other. “It is a little premature for a picture and stuff.”

Terra says, “They’re anticipating the fame and notoriety coming your way. I think he’s being smart to jump on early. Andrea, I hope you never lose your innocence and beauty. I was very impressed by how you treated your customers today and yesterday.”

Travis spoke up, trying to say it to his brother. “Justus, you should have seen Amy as she maneuvered her way to Andrea. Andrea asked her what she wanted and Amy had this skirt asking what might look good with it. Mom said I was only to get Amy one thing. But Andrea was so nice and the top was dead-on right for Sis. We got both.”

I tried to hit Travis on the arm for not telling me it was him. The hit was like that of a girl and he hugged me to stop the next attempt. “Sorry but that was very nice of you. There was no way I could introduce myself and take Amy’s moment away from her.”

Justus says, “Is that why she was so excited when she came back home. Our mom’s hoping I could get you to sign a picture for Amy sometime. But don’t worry I told our Mom, not on a date.”

Dinner was nice and while the other three had a beer or another drink they limited themselves to one. It was after nine when the band began playing. Travis and I had talked. He was comfortable dancing with me as long as it was fast enough that we were apart. “No offense but I’m not ready to pull a guy up close and dance with him.”

It was about an hour later; we were having one more dance at Credo’s before we made our way to a place in their town. That dance ended with a slow dance following it up. I expected Travis was taking hold of me to get going but he pulled me close and we began to dance. I looked to Travis and he said, “I figured you’re a normal person and I like being with you Andrea…”

We exchange a kiss as the dance ended and suddenly I was Andrea, a girl kissing Travis, a guy. The kiss lingered long enough not to mistake it for what it was. Travis asked his brother, “Would it be okay if we head to Union Junction and the Backdoor?”

It was about the same distance, though I never heard of the place. When we got there, there wasn’t much of a sign. It could easily have been missed. Justus said, “This is a good place to come to when one just wants to get away. Everyone can be their self and no one else cares.’

I knew there were a few cars out of the street, but I was surprised how many people were inside. We found a small table, one of the few not taken. Terra comes back to the table with a parasol in the glass, “It’s a strawberry surprise. Please sip and make it last.”

I took one sip enjoying the sweetness but the warm feeling going down was probably the surprise. I couldn’t really taste or smell what it was, but then I don’t drink. I am not sure when I moved and sat on Travis’ lap. I think someone took one of our chairs while we were dancing.

I really was a good girl and had sipped only half of my strawberry surprise. Travis had bought me a diet coke that I drank before it was time to go home. When I said goodnight at the door. It reminded me when I heard my sisters coming home from a date. I hadn’t understood all the silence I heard until tonight. One kiss, in particular, was really nice. “Andrea, I really liked tonight and I would love to go out again.” This time when he kissed I accepted I was different.

To continue…

Comments and kudos are welcome.

I was beside myself after getting home from my date with Travis. There was no denying to myself that I liked being Andrea and I liked Travis. I hoped Terra would be home and calling me soon, but it didn’t happen. Leah soon got home but her friend Carly was with her to spend the night. Carly was happy to meet me. We already knew each other but I had always been Andrew, Leah’s boring, sometimes cute, little brother. Now I’m Andrea of Andrea’s Threads, Leah’s noted little sister.

Heidi had already been home but went to a friend’s for the night. That possibly meant she was with her date for the night, but it wasn’t what she told our parents. If she wasn’t alone with him she was going to be running around until sometime in the morning. I always wished I was as old or got away with things like my sisters.

I had been to my room and out several times, talked to Leah and tried watching TV several times before Mom said, “Andrew what’s your problem?”

“Mom, I’m not sure I’m comfortable telling you. Actually, I’m sure that I’m not comfortable.” I sit down and bury my face in my hands. ‘I know mom is going to insist I tell her and that she’s going to get her way. But I don’t want to lose all I’m doing.’

Mom sits next to me, “It has to do with your date, doesn’t it? Most of us thought the biggest problem would be if you enjoyed it. Is that it?”

I’m shocked, “Mom, I didn’t know. How could you or anyone anticipate I’d like my date with Travis? Goodness sake, I’m a boy, you expected me to like going out with him and you let me!” I’m kind of glad she didn’t explode, but that was what I expected. “But Mom, we danced, at first we didn’t even touch and that was how we planned it to stay. But he came not to mind being nice and warm to me. We even kissed, and well …we both kind of liked it. Then a slow dance came up and I thought we’d take a walk because he wouldn’t want to dance with me. But he pulled me to him. The dance felt good Mom, doesn’t that upset you?”

“I just wanted to celebrate what I’ve done but I’m liking being me. A boy hugged me as Andrea, he saw me as an ordinary person, a girl. Andrea is not just an image Mom, she’s me.”

Mom asks, “Does that mean you’re not Andrew?”

I pause trying to figure out how to answer her, and then it hits me. “I guess you already know somehow I still am. I enjoy being Andrew and someone others can’t figure out. How can they, but I want you, dad and Leah to know.”

Mom gives me a hug, but moves back and take my hands. I guess it’s so we can face each other as we talk. She says, “I confess Andrea, I was more than a little uncomfortable letting you go on your date. But as I said, those in the family as well as Terra, Ms. Miller and JC, well we love you. We don’t want you hurt, but we thought you need to understand you’ve become Andrea as well as Andrew. One counselor I’ve talked to said if you didn’t come to acknowledge that your denial would likely bury the idea of Andrea being real. If we weren’t ready for you to become visible; then we should stop everything before it got any further down the road. That was before the date and without Andrea being part of yesterday or today.”

“You and Dad wouldn’t have done that would you? I’d have hated…”

Mom says, “Hated us, we understood that. Hopefully, you would have forgiven us, but that wasn’t certain. Hopefully, if it was what we should have done, we’d have done it, anyway. Your Dad hated being gone and not being here tonight.

“We agreed, we needed to let you be Andrea and experienced what you did. We’d love to have all the answers, but we don’t. It is not about you being famous or anything. It is about you as Andrea and Andrew and whatever happens. We want it to be healthy for you and you to know you have our love and support. Dan feels awkward, he knows he’s not your Dad. But he feels it is important to be there for you if you want or need him.”

I’m now sitting back, “Wow Mom, I thought I had the best Mom. Now I know it. This has to be as tough on you as it is for me. I know I’m going to be tough on you as Andrea and Andrew. You’ve allowed all three of us to become what we can be. Sometimes I think you must regret that.”

“I am sure dad did. It can’t be easy for Dan; but finally, I got a Dad. I hope he doesn’t come to regret being my Dad. Even as a son he’s not going to get what he probably expected.”

It was sometime after 1:00 a.m. that Mom finally answered Dan’s call. She told him things were okay but that she tells him that in the morning. I suggested we go to bed. She suggested if I wanted to get ready for bed. I could but we’d talk while I was getting ready. She gave me my first pill of a hormone blocker. “I hope you don’t mind my staying in with you Andrea. I know you’re a grownup teenager, but I want to know Andrea.”

“Likewise Mom, I think we both need some time with each other. Most girls know their moms since being small. I’ve been afraid. I was afraid earlier and again when I came home. I felt bad about being me. You seem to understand better than I do.”

I am out of the shower with a towel wrapped around me and I’m using a moisturizer and pinning up my hair. I am so happy when Mom helps me. I think she thought I might act indignant. She pinned-up the back, better than I. She even helps me to put on a pretty nightgown as I let the towel fall.

Mom even tucks me in, asking, “Are you ready for a prayer and a goodnight kiss? My hands come up together for prayer as I close my eyes. “O God, I bring my girl to you. She’s afraid to be. Afraid that she might not be loved or accepted. I too as her Mom cares about her and that she is loved and healthy. Andrea seems as real as Andrew. I am amazed by her maturity. She is so loveable. She and Andrew have gifts to share. Help her to truly know what it means to be the woman she’s becoming…” There was silence and I knew she hoped I too would pray.

“God, I’ve already talked to you many times. You know I am both excited and afraid. I even kissed and like being with Travis tonight… Amen.” My eyes teared when she kissed me goodnight.

Sunday we went to church as a family, but I insisted I was sitting in the balcony of the church. I didn’t want people looking at me since I had always gone dressed as Andrew. Leah sat with me. Peg, Alonzo, and Teri came and sat with us. I complimented Teri on her outfit. Later she asked if I was going to design a copycat. I guess it was a valid question, but it was purely a compliment. I did tell her, “I like your taste in clothes,” she’s what I call a sharp dresser. We are not particularly close, mostly we’re friends that go to the same church and take part in youth events.

Teri said, “I thought your clothes would be more expensive, but the store lady said that’s the market you’re targeting.” I generally like church, but I can’t say it held my interest today.

My folks tend to greet and visit with some friends after church, and today was no different. One group of boys did ask Heidi, “Where’s your brother today?”

She said, “This is Andrea.”

The boys say, “No, we asked where Andy is?” One boy did look at Andrea and may have realized I was Andy. Two girls came up to Andrea with their smartphones and asked her, “We were thinking about getting these clothes. What do you think?” It became a fifteen-minute conversation with Andrea giving several alternatives. When asked about them stopping over, Andrea said, “I’m working at the store three days this week. I’d prefer visiting then, but if it is just as friends call me.”

I’m to see Dr. Saga Dotter again my Psychiatrist; she’s connected to both to North State University and the North State Medical Center at Central City. So I will get to see the apartment complex Dan bought at State Center. State Center is five miles away, but our apartment complex is on the east side on the road leading to the University and Medical Center.

I’m already comfortable with Dr. Dotter and glad to be seeing her. I’m also glad the last visit was as Andrew, so I could go today as Andrea. Dr. Saga had some blood drawn from me, the last time I saw her. “Andrea, I’m not sure if it is good news or not, you will have to decide that. There are signs that your body is maturing, and a full dosage of the testosterone blocker would be warranted if you are wanting to be Andrea in more than your personality.”

I excitedly say, “You already know that I do; what do you mean if?”

“Calm down young woman: you and your parents know I need to go through the formalities. I don’t mean to upset you. It is necessary to confirm things before we move on and a decision becomes finalized that you understand. We need to know you are not making any decisions under any duress.”

“Isn’t it clear by how I’m dressed that I want the option of being Andrea; as Andrew, I’m not worried about the macho look?”

Saga says, “Am I to attach a photo of you today and say she wants the option of continuing to look like this?”

“You made your point. Yes, I want the hormone blocker and I would even like help in being Andrea. Can we talk about that?”

She says, “For a male, your body is already producing more estrogen than the average boy. I am not your medical doctor, but I anticipate he will want to see what effect the estrogen production has when you’re taking the full dosage of the testosterone blocker.”

I smile as she asks, “Let me change the discussion and ask about the past ten days. Except for some time at school you’ve been dressing mostly as Andrea. You’ve had the exhibition for your new clothing line and even dated a boy. I was going to ask how Terra took that but word is she helped to set up the date.”

Finally, I become a bit nervous in talking, “I didn’t expect to like dating a guy, but it was like a normal girl thing to do. I thought I was just kind of stepping through things as Andrea. He thought the same thing as the evening went on and we relaxed. Well, I found myself attracted to him. I kissed him pretty sure it would be gross, but I liked it. It’s not like I want surgery or to get serious with him, but I’m not a regular boy. I don’t even see myself as being gay. It’s as Andrea I’m attracted to him.”

“I was afraid to tell my Mom or Dad… That’s another thing, I like Dan as my Father. Get that my step father’s becoming my Dad. And it’s sad to say, but my father well, he’s renewed his interest because sees me with dollar signs.

“Back to coming home from the date and talking to my Mom or my sister. Neither of them was surprised, I liked dating Travis or that I felt confused. I guess I was the last one to acknowledge that I like acting like a girl, and accept part of me is Andrea.”

We didn’t have enough time to visit as we both wanted. Instead of waiting two weeks or a month for more appointments, the next three are scheduled a week apart. She also called to Dr. Higgins and has me scheduled for another appointment there.

Much to my dismay, I’m to be Andrew for three days straight.

On our way home we checked out the apartment building. We even got to see two apartments that I might be using. Brad from the university was living in one as one of three guys. He got the nerve to ask me, “What year are you in school?” He got a big smile when I said I’d be a junior this coming year.

Mom deflated his interest when she told him, “That’s a junior in high school.”

He smiled saying, “I thought that was too good to be true.”

When we were away from him and out of earshot, I asked, “Mom tell me he wasn’t interested in me, thinking I’m a junior in college?”

“Andrea, he was believing what he wanted to be true. It doesn’t sit well with me that a college student is interested in you. It would be funny if he told a college woman he met you and she knew of you from the fashion world.”

I ask, “Would she likely say something good or that he was naïve taking interest in me?”

We stopped in State Center to get an ice tea and to chat. Shortly after we were served and sharing a scone; a college woman came up to our table. “Pardon me and please excuse me for interrupting, but might you be Andrea, Andrea Stephens of Andrea’s Threads?”

“I could be… I mean I am, but how did you guess?”

She says, “I’m Meg Lach, I’m a student at the University and we heard a rumor that you might be coming here. Most of us didn’t seriously you’d be coming here.”

I ask, “Would you mind sitting down for a while and tell me if that would be a bad choice or something?”

She sits down across from me, “No, we have a great program; it’s just someone who’s famous well one doesn’t expect that here.”

Mom wants to speak, I’m sure to tell her I’m in high school. However, it’s me, “I’m coming here to go to high school and take a college class or two each semester.” I can see her looking at me trying to figure something about me. So I ask, “If you’re thinking something please just be straight forward, please. Better yet, if we’re to be friends tell me a little about you?”

She says, “I’m Megan, I’ll be a second semester sophomore with a double major in fashion design and media technology. I just lost a boyfriend because I study too much and put out too little. Sorry I didn’t mean to say that. Right now I’m nervous meeting you and to be honest upset someone younger is so far ahead of me. …I probably shouldn’t have said that either.”

She says, “Let me ask a question, no… I’d rather slow down and really be a friend if I can before that question is asked. Why would you want to be friends with me?”

I say, “This is my Mom, Michelle Stephens Johnson and I have sisters Heidi and Leah. Leah’s already a student here. I’m sure you know who JC Harper is. Well, she’s the one suggesting me to get my education and be a complete person. Being a complete person is a little complicated for me. This has been a crazy year for me and I’m not sure where or who’ll I’ll be when all is said and done. I can’t believe it is happening to me either and not someone like you. I guess I was in the right place at the right time. That might have happened again when I met you.”

Megan says, “Now you’re putting me on.”

I say, “Think of it Megan if you’re me. How important would it be for you to make a real friend? I’m knowing more and more people, at least I’m meeting them. How many will I get a chance to be real friends with? …You already think you know something about me, but you’re willing to take the time to know me. Yea, I’m more than meets the eye and that’s all I’d rather say just now.”

Megan says, “Thanks for calling me Megan, I prefer that. My understanding is you have two sisters and a step-brother you didn’t mention. But an internet search says, Heidi and Leah, have a brother Andrew, who was kind of spoiled. But you weren’t mentioned when I looked up Leah. You’re not what I expected not only are you very attractive, but you’re likable, probably intelligent.”

“I too met JC Harper and she’s impressed me, but I’m not on a first-name basis with her. I’d love to be friends but as I said, I might have trouble with you being so likable.”

“Mrs. Stephens, should I be calling you, Mrs. Stephens-Johnson?”

Mom says, “Better if you just said, Michelle. Thanks for being warm and open.”

Megan says, “Don’t get me wrong, I can be a hellion if I let my hair down.”

Mom says, “Don’t worry, I’ll be here once a week, daily if need be to keep my daughter from going too far overboard.”

I said, “Your friends have already left. I hope they didn’t leave you with the check. …Seemingly you know enough about me that you know the clothes I have out. What’s your impression?”

Meg says, “I like what you’ve done. I’m surprised that you’re succeeding in selling in between cheap and the higher end. I did remember Harper was interested in that, but she wondered if that market could be profitable. …Regarding the check, my friends know I can’t afford more than my share like either of them.” Her friends came up behind her from someplace.

“Hey Meg, you forgot us. So we’re leaving.”

Meg stands up, “Elle and Sam, let me introduce you to Andrea Stephens and her mom Michelle. Andrea’s up and coming in the fashion world. And yes, she’s going to be taking some classes at the U along with finishing high school. Andrea and Ms. Stephens these two are Elle Stark a biology major and Samantha Harden an education major, minoring in sandbox engineering.”

Elle says, “She mentioned something about you, but she must have settled down. You seem to get along.”

Megan blushes a little that Elle said what she did. Megan acknowledges, “I already shared that with her. If she comes here, no when she comes here, I hope we’ll be friends to her and her friend Andrew.”

“That’s interesting Megan; you said Andrew was her weak spot or that she is his.” Elle turns to my Mom and me, “This stuff doesn’t go down to easy where I come from, but I’ve grown quite a bit in two years at college. Friendships, however, grows fast and deep for me. Please don’t mess with me to just get a few sales. My kid sister will know right quick if we become friends on FB.”

I, Andrea said, “I wouldn’t want to get you or her in trouble. Andrew’s not always going to be a poorly kept secret. How old is your sister?”

“I have two sisters, but Alaina is the fashionista who will know who you are. She’s sixteen, but already a junior in high school. I don’t think she’ll come here to college, but she does want to come here for little sister weekend. It is mostly to getaway. If she knows you’re here, she will want to meet you. I’ll just tell you that upfront.”

I say if she looks like you. Elle shows me a picture and my answer is, “Would she settle for meeting Andrew?”

Mom insists on our way home that Andrew needs to be me more. Many mornings now begin with aerobics and running. Terra likes that it is usually with Andy, her friends often hassle me. They prefer it purely be a female thing. I’m amused that dressing as Andrea makes me different.

It was the next week when I’m over at Terra’s when her cousin Allysn Drake calls and asks her help to look for a wedding gown. I’m invited along but they ask for Andrea to be with them. I’m home and quickly shower to transform into Andrea.

I’ve been to Teresa’s Bridal and Gowns before but this is the first time up to the second floor in the Bridal section. Allysn asks me, “How many wedding gowns have you designed so far?” The truth is I hadn’t even thought of it. It is the third gown Allysn is trying when my imagination gets carried away.

I’d like the third gown if I were the one trying it on. I agree with Allysn, I like the second gown for her and want to see one more that she wants to try on. I would not be as patient as Allysn or Terra. Allysn has two more bridal salons we are to go to today. I think Mrs. Drake is enjoying the time as much as her daughter.

I text JC Hopkins, “Would it be okay if I try on some wedding gowns for the fun of it?” We are in the third salon when Terra gets a text. It is from JC, “Terra please coax Andrea into trying on a gown if it is not too inconvenient. Please get a picture of her and send it to me if it’s possible.”

Terra shared the text with Aunt Teresa who broke into laughter and said, "Most certainly." She asks, the owner Ryann O’Hara, even before they enlighten me with what is being asked. Ryann had noticed a gown I found attractive. She is holding it in front of me, “Andrea would do me the favor of modeling this gown for us?”

I am almost in tears as I feel the need to confess, “I’m sorry but I’m not even…”

Ryann interjects, “I know you are too young to be getting married, but I want to get a picture and to use it to suggest a girl’s fantasy to someday be a bride. I do a fair number of personal requests in making gowns. It would be nice to just put your picture up of you trying this gown.”

I ask, “So you know who I am?”

She says, “Thankful to Aunt Teresa and her namesake Terra. Truthfully I did not recognize you, but JC Hopkins would love to have a picture of you in the gown. Terrace Gardens Gowns could really use the boost of having a noted person being here.”

I look to the others and all of them are gesturing yes. Terra says, “You know you would like to. You also know she sells quality gowns.”

I ask, “Allysn loves that gown over there, but it is very expensive. If she chose it would you give her a 30% discount?”

Ryann says, “It is priced over twelve thousand dollars. If I could display both of your pictures; I’d sell to her for $8,000. Would that be fair enough?”

Allysn’s excitement noted, her mother asks, “Why are you willing to do more than what was asked?”

Ryann says, “I’d like to get back to the gowns and not dickering over the difference.”

I say, “My own is at the lower end of the scale and Allysn’s is at the upper end and designed by you if I am correct. It is truly an elegant wedding gown.”

Ryann says, “If you would ever get married, I would love to design a gown with you and make it.”

Terra helps me to a dressing room with the gown I’m wanting to wear. Ryann and Teresa are helping Allysn with her gown. Ryann tells Terra, “Look around and help her with the accessories she will need. There is a drawer of strapless bras, the satin panties are all new; the one you pick will be hers or yours. I’d like her to buy the silk stockings and garter if she tries them.”

Terra says to me, “That means you will experience wearing a garter. I hope you will like that.” I chose one called dream girl; it has nice lacework and the straps even seem elegant. Terra says, “You could have chosen an inexpensive pair.” She admitted I chose similar to what she would have done. While it takes a good half hour for me to get into the gown properly. Allysn takes fifteen more and it is another a good hour and a half for us both to be fitted.

When I ask about the pictures, Ryann laughs. “I need to prepare both wedding dresses that will take two weeks. When you come back to try them on again; I will have wanted you to have been to a salon for your hair and makeup done before we take the pictures. Do not worry I will line up the photographer and even pay for the photography.” She turns to Ally Drake, “Will that be okay with you Ally?”

“If you can tell JC, she might like to be here.”

To be continued…

Please let the writer and others know if you like the story. Jessie would also like to hear your comments or receive a PM from you.

Andrew’s actions of being a bit spoiled and getting away with things finally caught up with him… Surprisingly unexpected fruit surfaces in his Advanced Art class… Making a prom dress and work helped to bring out an unexpected side of him… Mother and Tera help dreams come true. Andrea attended her first prom… Andrea’s growing, and Andrew is not going away.

Andrea’s being disappointed about getting her picture taken in a wedding gown, melts as she thinks of getting to wear the gown again the next time including a trip to the beauty salon and having photos taken. Ryann was appreciative thanking Andrea, “I am appreciative of you doing this and your patience and openness. You should enjoy learning life from a young woman’s view. It doesn’t happen as quickly as those outside the experience might think.”

Terra and Allysn had given one another hugs, and Andrea and Allysn had gotten down to their bras and panties as their gowns were taken off and properly hung. When Andrea had gone back to change back into her own outfit. Allysn said to Terra and Ryann, “I don’t think she had realized we were down to our panties. She really seems to be another woman.” From Andrea’s changing room comes, “Oh my!”

Later Terra asked Andrea, what were you thinking when you and Allysn both stepped out of your gowns?”

“Truthfully, I was jealous of how beautiful of a woman she is. And here I am noticeably younger and less developed girl. …I know, I’m really Andrew but Andrea is me and sometimes I get caught up in the moment. Please don’t tell my Mom; she might pull the plug on all this.”

It was good to get back home and Mom wanted me to change back to my regular clothing. Being Andrew is good and it is not difficult to change to my male persona. It is nice being Andrew without makeup and able to just throw clothes on and relax. But my hair is no longer easy to change back. It has a body and a silkiness that is definitely more girl-like. The style also makes it difficult to change over to a guy’s ponytail which doesn’t have my present curls.

I was sketching some drawings of another skirt and blouse when I got an urge to see if I could befriend Megan from State Center. Pretty sure I found her I sent a friend request and in less than an hour, she responded by confirming me as a friend. She was amused that the first contact was with Andrew, She sent a message, “I have met Andrea and I’m wondering if one of you is the better half.”

I say, “We’re still in the process of trying to figure that out. Someone said, Andrea’s the better model and I’m better at designing. I, however, can’t see myself doing well without Andrea. We’re both thankful you took the initiative to introduce yourself to us, me. Is it alright if we become friends and I share my contact information? You’re not shy, so I hope you will tell this high schooler if I’m ever around too much.”

Megan and I are soon chatting, and I come to know she is a size four. This will help as I intend to send her an orange tutu with skirt to express my thankfulness to have her as a friend.

JC Harper called me with two days of PR visits for the coming week saying they are lined up. She’s getting pressure for me to do three appearances as well as three interviews each day. There is a difference as X-Press wants me to do more and I want to be at each store or mall for at least two hours, including one change whenever possible.

Mom wants me to be Andrew more often when I’m at home. My current hairdo doesn’t work well for trying to be Andrew incognito. Mom thinks a boy cut for Andrea is in order, but I’ve fallen in love with my girly hair. Some other solution needs to be found, but for me, there’s not a big hurry.

The first day of our Public Relations tour starts with an X-Press store in Philadelphia 9-11 a.m. and then to two stores in the Baltimore area just beginning to carry my clothes. It was my first helicopter ride. I changed into my orange tutu with a skirt to go to the Baltimore Orioles baseball game that evening. I was in time to do my last interview near the Baltimore dugout.

I wasn’t supposed to bother the players, but it wasn’t really my fault. It was more them trying to get my attention. Trying to defuse the situation and not get in trouble, JC asked if there were any wives or teenage daughters yet at the ballpark. There were three and more to come shortly. The fifteen-year-old was the daughter of a coach. She and the two wives were happy to meet with me. She chose a blue tutu. I gave her some money and asked her to buy both of us an Oriole team shirt.

One giggled, “I am in the group that says you’re not Andrew, you’re too girly to be so.” I especially like her when I offered her a choice of a blouse or skirt. She asked, “Would you mind if I allowed a neighbor to choose in my place? She could use it more. I promise I will be buying some of your clothes. I gave her a 40% off coupon and her friend was happy as I gave her a blouse to go with the skirt she chose. The other woman (wife) chose a pretty skirt and a blouse to go over a lightweight see-thru blouse. I didn’t know there was a bra, in team colors. The combination did work well together and was within good taste.

JC and her publicity person who was with me were both happy with the day that ended around 11:30 p.m. I found out I was given ‘A's’ for meeting the public, representing both my product line and the stores. I was given Bs for meeting the media. Being told that I was too conscious of those around me like ballplayers or their wives.

I was very tired and asked, “Do you want me to write the wives and apologize for taking time with them, along with kissing the _____ of the media?” I knew what the concern was, it was just that I thought the media had gotten plenty of camera and interview time. The media’s help is like visiting many stores and shoppers at the same time. JC over the phone said, “You can let it out with me today, but limit your tantrums it is not becoming of you.”

It was harder to get up and look good in the morning. The part I don’t like about being girly is it takes more time. The time I could have used sleeping. I even thought of the second and third outfits I’d change into for the day as I planned my makeup. Thankfully the more I do it the better I get and it does not take as long.

I actually get emails if girls noticed where I didn’t change makeup or jewelry. My reply was. “That’s okay as many women and girls I design for don’t either.” While that was initially cited as a negative. Others came to my rescue and liked that about me and my different lines of clothes. I had no trouble wearing other clothes where I took one of my tops and wore it with JC’s or someone else’s skirt or slacks. I was soon feeling bad that shoppers apologized for not wearing a full outfit of mine. My reply was, “Relax, get a life.”

We had one stop in Baltimore before heading to Silver Springs, Maryland. I met Maggie, Chancy, Red, and Sally four of the sorority members who first sent my tutus viral. Mom wasn’t overly happy when she like me received a Dew with champagne in it. It was good and I was thankful to hear of their sorority’s celebration where they first wore their colorful tutus. There the people enjoyed having a good time while wearing clothes that were durable and designed for adults.

Since then they had another celebration to which a fraternity was invited. Some frat boys had lost a contest, with the result being that two of them literally won the prize of wearing pink tutus on the final day of a summer program. As sometimes happens the men wore the tutus in good taste and gained the respect and attention of women from the sorority.

I didn’t think that being served champagne was as bad as a proposition I had to see someone’s room if I had the time. While I quickly said, “NO!” I don’t want to get sexually involved as tempting as it might be. It is not always easy to say ‘no’. It is easy for my ego and mind to get off course. Mom, JC, or Jeanette, my person from JC’s staff promised I would answer them if I got out of line. JC came across loudly and clearly over her smartphone. “Misbehaving is the quickest way to sidetrack your public career! Andrea, I care a lot about you. You need to remember how young you are and how crazy this year has been.”

Gong to the other stores in Alexandria and Richmond, Virginia were part of this day. And most of it was back relating to teen girls my own age.

Mom and I drove back from Richmond the next day with a stopover in Washington, DC. I hadn’t seen the memorials or the museums in D.C. before and only saw a few today. My outfit today was simple as not to draw attention to us. But several recognized me as we toured the Lincoln Memorial and again at the waiting pool on the Washington Mall. Mom asked those taking pictures to wait thirty minutes before posting them so that we too could enjoy our time there.

I have begun to get requests to lend my name, support, or face to this or that. It is not that I am very popular, but the demographic group it might work with. Luckily with JC’s guidance and support the answers are consistent no.

We were two hours from home and Mom was too tired to drive safely. We stopped and had a nice dinner intending to get to sleep early and wake early to get on the road. Unfortunately or fortuitously there was a reception in a reception hall attached to the restaurant and two teenage boys came over to ask my Mom. “Is it okay if your daughter would dance with us? The other girls are our sisters and cousins.”

Mom had seen some girls come and recruit boys to dance with them. She giggled at the request and we tried to say ‘no’. Mom finally changed and said, “Andrea, why don’t you go and dance one or two dances? Then we can get back to the room and rest.

I agreed, but the problem was two more boys wanted to dance with me. And then I found myself in conversation with the girls about things they were interested in, boys, hair, makeup, and fashion. My Mom visited with other moms and it was after ten when we got back to our room. That was not terrible, but it would be work to get up and go early.

I shampooed my hair last night and again in the morning. It was Andrew who left early in the morning with my mom from the hotel. We stopped at State Center bypassing Central City and North State University. We stopped at the Northfield Apartment complex. Mom now has the keys for our two apartments. There is also a doorway now connecting the two apartments, #2 C&D. If it was done to keep the allusion of Andrew and Andrea being different people; it is also helpful in keeping things like clothes, toiletries, fragrances, etc. separate.

Mom and I were going through the apartments when there was a knock at one door. Megan was there holding her package with the orange tutu. She gave me a hug, saying “Thanks” and then she stepped back. “So this is Andrew the person behind the fashions. You make a good-looking young man.”

There were a few chairs so we sat and talked for a while. Another friend of Meg’s came by calling out for her. “Over here, Ruth! Ruth Strass let me introduce you to Andrew and his mom Michele Stephens. Andrew is the guy behind Andrea’s Threads.”

Ruth lit up, “I like the gift you sent Meg. That was really nice of you.”

Meg said, “A thank you is in the mail.”

Ruth says, “I graduated from high school last December so I’ve been a student here only one semester.”

Mom said, “That is why you barely look eighteen.”

Ruth and Meg both began to lightly laugh as Ruth explained, “Truth is I’m barely seventeen. Academics come fairly easy for me. I am a biology major with a special focus on environmental sciences.”

Mom says “I am very impressed, your parents must be very proud of you?”

Ruthie says, “They’d be happier if I were focusing on something other than the environment. They don’t think I will make as much money seeking a career in the area of social concern. I think they’re hoping my grad studies, later on, will take me to a more prestigious university.”

I said, “I think they will come around in time to be proud of you. One, you’ll do better if your heart is in it. My Aunt Jean had just stepped down from a high-stress job because it had taken a toll on her health. She still works pretty hard, but now she enjoys what she’s doing. Even I notice how much healthier she looks.”

Meg says, “Well if Andrea’s Threads continues to do well you won’t have to worry.”

I said, “That would take many years and the likelihood of getting established like JC Harper is not a certainty but rather a longshot. Living within my means and not getting a big head and full of s**. I have a stronger likelihood of giving my Mom gray hair.”

Mom is caught off guard, I usually don’t talk around her like I talk with friends closer to my age. Megan also seemed surprised by my statement. “You’re kidding me. You’re here so you can study and have time to prepare for your career in fashion.”

“Megan, I’m a teen whose world has changed big time and I don’t have the smarts Ruth does. Sometimes I’d just like to be back to being myself, but I'm somehow better than I was. I’m used to doing things without much responsibility.”

I say, “On a weird day, I used to think being a girl would be a neat experience. Now, I get to be me. I look for friends like you two to help me stay sane and keep my feet on the ground.

Mom interrupts, “Sorry to break this up, but we came this way so I can get Andrew registered for school.”

It was nice to see Megan and meet Ruth; more so when I found out they’re living in my building complex.

Soon we’re to State Center/Hunterdon High School; it is a newer and larger school than mine. But it is smaller than Central City where North State University is located. It is somehow considered a lab school associated with the University.

Today we meet Principal Paul Evers and my faculty Advisor Hannah Stein. I am to have seven classes at State Center and ‘Computer Fashion Graphics’ at North State. I will have Hannah, not only as my advisor but for Algebra 2. Mr. Deemer will be my teacher for Current World History, Lifetime Phys. Ed with Coach Patsy Bedford. I’m signed up for Chemistry with Mr. Barstow, Literature with Jennifer Hopkins, who I had met previously, Speech, and German II with Frau. Schneider. My electives included an independent study in Fashion Careers and Chorus.

I’m not sure if it was a warning or what, but I was told Mr. John Deemer was a very well-thought-of instructor who could also be difficult. Ms. Stein would not clarify what she meant, stating, “That will be for you to decide.”

One girl Allison Olsen sought me out with her friends Stacie and Amber. “Hey there, Andrew is it!” She catches up to me, “I was hoping to meet Andrea as I’m to give you a tour of the school and be your buddy the first week of school.”

She asks my mother, “Ms. Stephens, do you mind if I take Andi here and show him around the school? We’ll even pick up his book list for Literature from Mrs. Hopkins.”

We start off and she tells me “Call me Allie if you would; I’ll probably be in a number of your classes. Rumors have it you were to have Coach Murphy for Physical Education, but something about his cousin teaching in your old school. I think you’ll love Coach Bedford; she told me she’s glad to get you in one of her classes. Connie Fischer in Chorus is also very good, but I’m kind of interested in how she handles having you and Andrea.” She stops in her tracks, “Andrea will be to school sometimes when you’re not, won’t she?”

I am now the one who stops in his tracks, and I’m kind of speechless. I didn’t expect to meet someone like Allie or that she would be so forward. She says, “Don’t mind me, but I kind of know of Andrea and suspect I know you from web searches. I know there is much more to you and I should first relax and just be a friend. I’m sorry, I just think it will be great coming to know you. I haven’t ever met anyone of note before.”

She asks, “Did you get third-period Chemistry with Barstow?”

I say, “Yeah, but I can’t say I’m very excited. I like science, but not so good with lab experiments. Things like setting up experiments are like using a foreign language.”

Allie has her perky smile, “That’s good because I have the same class. If you’ll let me be your lab partner and you help where you can. I love science and I was hoping to be your partner.”

I grab her hand to get her to look me in the eye, “So why would you want to be with me.”

Allie says, “My cousin Hanna knows from camp and another organization, a Terra someone who Hanna says thinks you’re really great. She said Terra has even switched colleges and decided to come to North State. She was going to one of those prestigious schools, but likes someone coming here enough to change her life.”

“I guess you also made an impression on Terra. That’s a pretty good trick to get an upperclassman to notice you. So how do you know Terra?”

I say, “You might not believe me but we went to the prom together.”

Allie says, “It was her you went with. Do you have a picture of you in the gown you designed?” I searched my phone and got a picture up and showed Allie and then her friends. Stacie looks and then looks back to me and at the picture a few times. Always shaking her head no.

The tour goes well; I like seeing Jennifer Dobbs again. She is happy to see me as Andrew. “Andrew can I see your schedule.” She glances over it, “Would you mind changing your schedule and taking Creative Writing from me? I think it would be helpful. It might be challenging at first but once you catch on it will become special to you. It will be like designing clothes but this is with words and pen.”

I say, “Well, I’m an okay reader, but I think the literature itself with be challenging.”

She asks, “Do you know who Jane Austen was?”

“Kind of, but I don’t know if I’ve read any of her books.”

Jenifer Dobbs says, “She was a free spirit like you, she might have been shier but yet a strong person. Books and other women might have been where she was in her own element. Or maybe being a strong woman back then that might have caused men to shy away from her.”

“You on the other hand have found creativity helps you more easily express yourself to women. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’d have enjoyed being friends with you. Unfortunately, much of her stuff got destroyed. Consider how neat it would be to find writers who spoke to you. You might find another avenue to express your creative spirit and have your male peers be impressed with you.”

I have myself daydreaming about her ideas while she was yet speaking. I asked, “Can you guarantee me that you will hold my attention if I take both classes?”

Mrs. Dobbs says, “I expect you will easily get B’s if you apply yourself and A’s if I can hold your attention like I think I can.”

I take Mrs. Dobbs aside from the others. “It is important to me that you understand, I enjoy relating to women like Andrew as well as Andrea. And that there is more to me than the stuff you and others seem to know.”

Jennifer lights up, there is something about her as a person that kind of ignites a room. She not only excites me, but I feel she hears and understands more than we have shared. “Yes, Andrew, I care about you and I am impressed by the person growing in you. I think you will be an exciting student. That I will enjoy seeing you continue to blossom in many ways. I think like Andrea you are quite impressive. She at best is a catalyst for you coming into your own.”

I am humbled by her words, there are tears I try to hold back as Andrew. They don’t go trickling down my cheeks, but I am sure Allie, Stace, and Amber see them fill my eyes. “Yes Mrs. Dobbs, but that means I need to hurry back to registration and see if I can get it done.”

She says, “Here let me see if I can get Hannah Stein on the school phone. Hopefully, we can do it so you can continue your tour with Allie. Is Allie being good and helpful? I am impressed that they were able to talk a senior into guiding you around.”

I turn to Allie and mouth, ‘upperclassman’. She smiles, “You know that this Literature class and Creative Writing are electives for seniors as well. I took Physics last year for this year it’s chemistry for me. I don’t think I’m more than a half year older than you anyway.”

To be continued…

Andrew’s lying back in the bed as he sniffs to take in the scent as the bedroom is now more Andrea’s. He looks round to pick up and put away his clothes. Dirty clothes had already been put into the laundry. Andrew does have a lightly worn pair of jeans, he’ll wear again. Even they are neatly folded and put on a chair in the corner. This is different from Andrew previously. It is he who will be working at Carrie’s women’s store today.

Carrie Druthers is happy that her relationship with Andrea/Andrew is still intact and he/she continues to work there when possible. It is not only good for business. She likes Andrew and believes whether it’s Andrew or Andrea the person will fare better staying connected with old friends and this community. She would rather have Andrew staying and going to school here. That's what she thinks she would have chosen.

Andrew gets cleaned up and dressed for work. Though it is Andrew, he has a camisole and panties on underneath. He knows some might see an indication of the camisole if they look for it. What he wants is for people to see that he, Andrew, is very much still around.

The morning at the store was a proceeding as normal up until Brandi Myers came in. She’s a college student in our community tutoring gifted students. Andrew had seen her before, noticing she has a keen eye for fashion. She also has a sharp wit and sense of humor.

Coming up behind Andrew she catches him by surprise.

“You know it is a bit disappointing to come here and find you working. I was hoping it would be Andrea, whom I’ve heard so much about. They say you have pretty legs and I was wondering what you looked like in a skater skirt?”

Andrew is still a bit off-balance as he is usually the one commenting on the other person and asking if he can help. “Uh, um. I’ve heard you, you’ve been doing a great job in working with the younger students.” He catches his breath, “Is there something I can show you or help you find?”

Brandi says, “Yes, you could show me those pretty legs. I’d also like to see what you think would look good for me. I’m going to the city this weekend and I’d like something a bit sexy, but not overboard.”

She pauses, steps forward as Andrew tries to step back but finds himself against a clothing rack. Brandi says, “Don’t worry I won’t bite.”

Carrie has been ten feet away taking in Andrew and his reactions to the young woman who's intimidating him. “Andrew relax and see if you can help her.”

Andrew says, “Ms. Druthers, I’m not sure I can.”

“Ms. Druthers,” Carrie says, “She might be one of the more attractive young women you encounter as a customer, but she is not the first nor the last. What did she ask that is so difficult?”

Brandi has taken but a half step back; Andrew turns his head to Carrie who is about three feet away. “She wants to see my legs, preferably Andrea in a skater dress or skirt…”

Brandi turns to Carrie, “I heard as a girl he has very attractive legs. I thought as a fashion designer he wouldn’t be so shy or intimidated.”

Carrie says, “Many designers are introverts deep down, they step-out to the public through their designs and their creations. Andrew/Andrea has usually been the exception. …Regarding the skater skirt, I’m not sure but we might be out in her size of skater skirts.”

Brandi says, “She couldn’t wear one from another line, maybe Lulu’s? I also asked him if he would help in selecting something for me. It doesn’t have to be something from Andrea’s Threads though.”

Andrew says, “If I were to change into a skirt, I’d rather be totally in Andrea mode. That would take more than changing into a skirt.” He says, “Regarding something for when you go out on the city, there are numerous possibilities, depending mostly on your tastes and your comfort zone.”

Brandi asks, “How late are you working? I was wondering if you got off early enough maybe Andrea could change and come back. Or if you’re working tomorrow I could come back at about one o’clock with some friends.”

Carrie takes Andrew a few feet away and whispers, “If you wanted you could go home and come back as Andrea in a couple of hours. You could also just take care of her as a customer, but I think she should see you making the decision and taking control.”

“Thanks,” and with that Andrew turns to Brandi. “I work until 6:00 tonight. Right now I’d like to help you look for some clothes for this weekend. Andrea could be working tomorrow, but she’s not scheduled.”

He asks, “What else will you be doing in the city? You’re wearing jeans now, what do you like to wear when you’re out having fun? We have a good selection of possibilities in size two. Going to a size one in the right clothes could come across as really sexy.”

Brandi says, “I don’t remember telling you I wear a size two.”

Carrie says, “I will leave you two alone, but he does have a good eye for sizes as well as fashion.”

Andrew steps pass Brandi, “So are we looking at a skirt, jeans, fashionable slacks and tops?”

He’s already anticipating skirts or dresses. She says, “Yes, a skirt or nice dress for out on the town. The clubs I’ll be going to are very nice, good places where a young woman should be stylishly attractive.”

Andrew suggests, “One possibility I would suggest is a skater skirt that’s probably two inches longer than the shortest ones here. Lulu and Andrea’s lines both have them in skirt or dress form. If you want something not here in Andrea’s line it could be here by Friday morning.”

Brandi asks, “But how could I know it would fit properly?”

Andrew says, “I would be able to tell by something else here. Since I’ve made most of the clothes in my line; I’d have no trouble doing a quick alteration.”

She says, “You think that well of yourself?”

“Not really, I tend to worry but others seem to like what I do. If need be, I can do extra alterations on the spot.”

Brandi asks, “Would it be possible for you to make something original for me using a fabric I choose? My grandmother has been wanting to do something special for me. So I’m hopeful that I can well afford you.”

Andrew asks, “Let us look for somethings now and we can discuss that. I’d have to think and know you a little and then see if anything comes to mind.

Brandi did choose a skater skirt, a see-through print top with an attractive spaghetti strap top underneath. She chose a clinging dress, but changed to the skirt I pointed out with a top that went low enough to show her cleavage nicely. She tried the outfit and liked it so much that her complexion glowed. She picks an expensive pair of designer jeans and several tops to go with them. “I think I’m set for the weekend. If you don’t mind I’d like to take you out to dinner to say thanks.”

Andrew’s flattered to have this beautiful woman invite him to dinner. “I’m open to that but I need to check with my Mom. If I can go to dinner, is it Andrew or Andrea who is invited?”

Brandi says, “It was Andrew who made the sale, but it is Andrea’s legs that I came to see. You choose tonight and I’ll be impressed either way.”

I rang up her sale and gave my phone number and address before she left. Carrie tells me, I can leave at 4:30 p.m. Brandi says, she’d pick me up at 7:00. I'm thankful since it gives me time to freshen up and change especially if I decide to go as Andrea.

The afternoon is fun as I wait on several classmates and their friends. An afternoon can seem awful slow if one is not busy. One girl loves a light sweater dress a whole lot but has a friend who had bought one just like it. I thought of a dress I previously designed and thought of how it could be redesigned to a sweater dress. “Michele, how would you like a dress similar to that but using one of my dress designs? I’d convert it to a sweater dress and make one with a print similar to this. We would make one for you and then others in solid colors and designed for the fall.”

I get Marci on the line, she’s the head design and production person that I like to work with. She soon knows what I want and shows me via a computer attachment of a fabric print that she suggests. Michele quickly agrees and Marci says, “I can have the first one to you Monday or Tuesday. But I need you to cut out and put one together there and get it to me via the mail. I will need also to have your approval before I can sign off and you receive the first dress.’

I giggle and ask why? She says, “So far all the designs for production are first produced by you. JC told me I can help you, but the original needs to come from you as it has been. This is a very nice design idea.” Marci asks, “Is there some other design that we need to check and make sure we either have an original or get the rights too?”

Marci tells me, doing so before it is always easier to acquire rights from others earlier than later. I tell her of the dress and maker that Michele had liked. She checked it out and reported back, “We’re fine. The quicker you have an original sent the sooner we’ll have her dress back to you.” She says, “I know of a bolt of fabric here I’d use for the original.”

Michele feared she couldn’t afford it, but smiled when I mentioned calling it Chele', Shelley. The cost would be spread out over the design and larger production. I was glad to have another dress design in my design folder.

True to Carrie’s word, I am off by 4:30 and soon home. I worry about getting my parents approval, but Mom says, “It should be a good experience for you. If they trust Brandi to work with younger students you too should be safe. Going out to dinner with her should be helpful. Watch her closely and pick up some tips on how you should be at a nice dinner with someone special.”

I ask, “Mom, she sees me as a special person. Are you expecting me to go as Andrea?”

She says, “I think that was her hope when she gave you the option. You choose, either way, it should be a good experience. If Andrea goes I think that full blue skirt would be nice. But you might ask if it would be okay when she calls to check on you.”

My eyes pop wide, “Why do you think she might call and check on me?”

If she’s taking you to a nice place like the Credo Club or out of town, I’m sure she will call to make sure what you’re wearing, so you’ll complement one another or at least not clash.”

I was out of the shower drying myself when I heard my phone. It was Brandi and when I asked if it was alright to come as Andrea. She just asked what colors I was going to be wearing. She says, “I wanted to make sure it was possible for you to go out. I didn’t want to create a problem because of my age and the short notice. If you want to stay close we can go to The Credo Club or I can take you out to Olivia’s Hideaway. I think you’ll like either one.”

I tell her, “If we’re to go to the Credo Club ask for Morey and tell him you’re taking me to dinner. He’ll have a special table reserved for us. The Hideaway also sounds good. My google search suggests it would be a good place to relax and visit, along with having good food.” The search suggests it is a friendly LGBT place. I guess I should relax and enjoy who I am.

I’m back to focusing on getting ready. I take an added effort in doing my makeup, wondering about how Brandi will see me. I feel a tinge of excitement in being with Brandi, hoping she does not sense I have a crush for her. I put on my gaff as I don’t want to embarrass myself.

I wasn’t mindful of the perfume I sprayed into the air and walked through. It is ‘Seduction’ that Megan introduced me to. I am ready with twenty minutes to spare when I go down to wait for her. Leah walks by giving me a knowing glance and soon she comes back out of the kitchen with Mom. They both smile like they do when they’re going to give me a rough time hopefully just having fun.

Mom asks, “Any special reason you’re wearing that perfume?”

“It was by mistake Mom. You need to believe me. I sprayed it and walked through it before I realized…

Leah says, “Yes but you had to have sprayed the air at least twice. Do you hope she’ll see you as attractive? You know you’re a little young for her.”

I say, “It’s not like that. I didn’t mean to.”

Leah says, “Are you sure it wasn’t some Freudian slip.”

Heidi enters the room, “I am quite sure she will get the message. That you say was purely accidental?” Ooo, Heidi’s giggle grates Andrea.

“Mom I guess it’s too late to back out or call her,” Andrea asks?

Mom smiles, “You can tell her in person; she’s out of her car, coming up the walk.”

Mom opens the door for Brandi and welcomes her in. “Andrea’s sisters are delighting in giving her a hard time. I hope you don’t mind her being a little flustered?”

Brandi says, “I’m not sure but I think I did that to Andrew earlier in the day. I hope Andrea, like Andrew, will recover to appreciate a nice evening out.” Brandi is in a simple yet eloquent nouveau style dress. “Andrea, you look very nice tonight. I think we will compliment each other quite nicely.”

“Ms. Stephens, I hope you will excuse me for giving short notice in taking her out for dinner. I just wanted to thank Andrew for helping me to pick out a nice selection of clothes. That ended up with me buying a number of pieces and add a new look for me and my wardrobe.

“He, she does have a gifted eye for fashion and what works. I’m hoping that Andrea can come up for me with one of her own fashion designs. I have a grandmother who’s wanting to do something special for me.”

Mom asks, “Please sit and visit for a minute if you have the time? I’ve heard many things about you. You are a gifted genius in your own right. I am surprised to find such a person attracted to our community.”

Brandi smiles, “Thank you. Part of it is for my doctoral project and part to just connect with gifted young people. The setting here allows me to work closely with young people without the distractions of a larger city. Finding Andrea, just when her career is blossoming is a very nice bonus.

She says, “I must admit, I went to the store hearing how gifted she is. I was out to frustrate and challenge her if I could. But I came away impressed and buying more than I intended.”

Leah chimes in, “One, I hope you will be gentle on my little Sis, as she seems a little taken with being asked out to dinner with a woman noticeably ahead of her. But I’m more impressed that you say you’re working on a project for your doctorate. You don’t appear to be more than a year older than me.”

Brandi says, “I might appear young, but I’m 22 and being a genius many others already have their Ph.D. by now. I took some time off from pure academics to immerse myself into the world more. I thought taking time now I could relate and dialogue with my younger peers. This summer and the past two years has been good for me.

“If you don’t mind, I’ve planned to share dinner and the evening with Andrea.”

Mom asks, “When might I expect my youngest daughter home?”

Brandi says, “If she has a curfew of ten or so, I can do that. Or I could see me bringing her home as late as midnight. That is if she were to get a dress idea and needed to take measurements.”

Mom says, “I’m not used to her going out. If it were a date, I’d expect her no later than 11:00. Being out with you to 12:00 or 1:00 a.m. would be okay, but I’d want a call before 10:30 if that’s to be the case.”

Heidi calls from upstairs, “Mom, you wouldn’t let me stay out that late. The twerps barely sixteen.”

Mom says to Brandi and me, “You two better get, and I’ll handle the sibling rivalry here.” Mom gave me a hug, before asking, “Do you have everything? …have a good night honey.”

Brandi has a lower riding sports car and she’s opened the door for me. Sitting down, sweeping my skirt under me with Brandi here, challenges my male ego. Here I am a younger girl, escorted by a woman I’d like to flirt with. I hope my cheeks are not turning red. I scoot around lifting my feet into the car.

Brandi scoots in at the driver’s seat saying, “I hope you don’t mind, but I want to take you to Olivia’s. I’m afraid if we’re at a special table at Credo’s; we might have too many interruptions for an enjoyable evening.

“I am not as worried about another outfit as I want to thank you. I am very impressed by your gifts and maturity.”

Brandi is driving as I’m surprised by her statement that she’s ‘very impressed by my gifts and maturity.’ I tell her, “I’m confused, it’s me who is impressed by you. I’ve seen you work with others, but you didn’t know I was watching you. You have a gift of putting yourself aside while encouraging them. Half of them already think they’re better than anyone else. Most seemed to eventually get it that you were encouraging them to grow, challenging them to be more." I ask, “Do you really understand all their mathematical equations, philosophical thoughts, and their study ideas?”

Brandi smiles, “Sometimes I know enough to dialogue with them, much of the time I am still well ahead of them. You’re right that many of them had trouble thinking I’m their equal or better. I, however, am not there to prove myself to them. I easily understand one so young and intelligent having such a perspective. One doesn’t want to dampen their enthusiasm.”

“I like how beautiful your dress looks.”

Brandi asks, “What do you think of the nouveau style? This one is simple, I was wondering if you have designed any along this line.”

“I confess, so far I’ve only watched JC Harper design in this area. Before last fall, I was like most guys who would have tripped over what meant what in the fashion world. Now I often watch other women and talk fashion at the drop of a hat. I hope that does not bother you?”

She asks, “What that you’ve grown so much, or that you see yourself like other women?”

“While my growth seems to be as a woman and I’m really a boy.”

Brandi says, “Are you really? The two times I remember you watching my students and me; you appeared as Andrea.” Her right hand lightly comes down on my hand closest to her.

I might be Andrea, but part of my delight right now tells me I should be Andrew. I liked her fingers threading through mine. The conversation the rest of the trip to Olivia’s Hideaway is casual as we share thoughts and things we like. She notice’s in the scenery we pass-by, things I hadn’t seen before. An exit before our turn, she leaves the highway to take a more relaxing ride.

She pulls up to drop me off at the door of Olivia’s Hideaway but seems happy when I opt to walk with her from where we will park. We have a table a little off to the side reserved for us. Olivia’s has an interesting motif of plants, short waterways that bubble up here and there. The waitress seems to recognize Brandi, but it is her recognizing me that surprises me. She says, “Paige will be pleased if I can tell her that the young artisan Andrea is here.”

Right away, I suspect she’s either not really talking to me or has me confused with someone else.

Brandi says, “You seem surprised that women see fashion, like landscapes as art. Men don’t often see the delicate side of life as art. Many of them, have to be told its art before they see it as such.

Brandi tells the waitress, “She wouldn’t mind meeting Paige but we’d rather it be later. We want some time together first.” She takes our orders and Brandi tells me, “I think Paige is either Olivia’s daughter to niece. I think the latter because Olivia looks too young to be Paige’s mother.”

During our time at dinner, Brandi says, “I think your mother trusts that I don’t want to have my way with you. She’s only partially right. I’d very much like that but I’ll wait. You need more time to decide who you are and who you will be. Don't be in any big rush.”

I challenger her, “I doubt you could be happy with anyone other than another genius.”

She says, “Many think that but I’m more attracted to someone with gifts and has a personality and not an IQ above 140. When you came to the park. You seemed to be interested in how I treated people as well as my intellect. I was watching if the same thing was true with you. The jury’s still out, you know most of the customers here.

“I am wondering if you have gotten any ideas about what you might design for me.”

I coax Brandi, “Do you think you could order me a weak sangria that has extra fruit and juice? I’d like to sip something and be a bit daring. Truthfully I am a little intimidated in sharing my ideas with you.”

Brandi asks, “Does that mean you have more than one?” Brandi orders a Sangria like I want, as though, it is for her.

We scoot closer together after I remove three quick and rough sketches from my purse. One is fairly formal and staid, as I think a woman might present herself in society and academia. The next dress is for a similar event but is for a woman presenting herself as attractive and there to make a statement. It is an elegant gown that sweeps down over one shoulder. I’m not sure if it should be two solid colors or include a print. I have a sheer fabric that is over much of the gown, but is tiered itself and over most but not all of the gown.

My third is a special dress for a special night out. I have a light fabric cloak that can be worn with it if the evening starts in a more formal setting. But with the cloak discarded, it becomes a dazzling dress, bright and cheery for a fun night out. I tell her, “None of these represent a finished design worthy of even a designer’s frame.”

She already ordered and received her own drink which she raises toward me. She reaches over and hugs me, whispering, “You are only serious about the second two aren’t you?”

I ask, “I’d not only like to visit more about these, but I really would like to get your measurements to help me to proceed. That’s if you are serious and I’m not being too forward.”

Paige visits with us, and she is indeed Olivia’s niece and Olivia is much younger than Paige’s mother. “My Aunt Olivia is also a fan of yours. We’d like to get a picture of you with Olivia and you could autograph it later before we hand it up.” Quietly she asks, “Did you enjoy your sangria?”

We were at Brandi’s apartment before she takes me home. I suspect it is inappropriate of me to measure her. But she gets down to her panties and bra. I’m sure in part to embarrass me. She does give me a hug and kiss that I’m still treasuring. It will be the better part of a week before we’re back together again.

Mom knew the next morning that I was different. “I hope you are comfortable knowing a woman you like and look up to can be interested in you. I don’t need to know everything, I just want you to know I’m here. But if I ever sense you get in over your head, I am and will act as your Mother. You need to take a better shower when you’ve been so… I’m not sure how to say it delicately.”

The next week I need to travel to Chicago and Milwaukee for a three-day promotional trip. Then it will be home to get ready for school and my new apartment. Leah has picked an apartment in the same building but on another floor and across the hall. I’m going to feel like a little child when my Mom is there, but I’m having second thoughts about being away from home. I’m glad Megan’s apartment has been switched. I’ll have a friendly and familiar face across the hall…

To be continued…

I am glad to be home a few days. I get together with Terra and Jennifer. Sarah and Linda are off on vacation, and Sarah plans to be to her college as soon as she gets back. Terra asks if all our apartments have been rented yet for the college year. Mom hears us and says, “There were three. I’m sure there is one in the next apartment building with three bedrooms. Someone backed out on their contract. It is to rent for 11,600 a year, but if you get two other renters it’s a great savings and we’d come down some for you.

I can see Terra texting the information to her parents. She explains, “I had met my dorm roommates and one arrived three days ago and had already trashed the suite. I’m afraid I’d be prone to taking her responsibilities. I would have trouble studying there with her sometimes. My parents agreed and are open to me finding something better.”

Terra and Jennifer want to go out with me, but they say going around with Andrew has dampened their chances of having fun. I resisted as I want some Andrew time, but mom wants me to get out and relax. “You know if you stay here, you’re going to be checking your fashion line and get yourself ready for Chicago. You have enough time to do that. Maybe the next time they can accept you’re going as Andrew.”

Jennifer helps to choose an outfit for going out. Once we’re out the door Terra informs me we’re going to The Pub in Plainfield. You’ll be stuck wearing a wrist band. We’re first over to Jenn’s house and her folks are gone. We’re in Jenn’s room where she changes out of an outfit and takes a quick shower. Terra uses Jenn’s nail polish to paint my nails. I complain as she’s drastically changing the shape, giving me more feminine tips to my nails.

Terra says, “You’re going to Chicago it a few days. You should want to look your best.”

“Even JC says I could go on this trip as Andrew the designer.”

Jenn says from the bathroom, “Then you can file them down later and just take off the polish, no harm done. Sorry but we don’t want any one seeing you as a boy in girl’s clothes this time.”

It’s getting obvious Terra, Jennifer and more of the other girls around here prefer me as Andrea. And once we get to the Plainfield Pub, I get a text from JC Harper. “Aren’t you going to respond to the production message? They’re wanting to add three skirts with options, six tops with options and the two dresses you submitted to the production and distributing lists.”

I thought it was Jennifer asking but it wasn’t, as to what I was doing. I say, “I’m responding to JC Harper about the production of some clothing. I guess I missed a prior message.” Tarry says, “O yes that happens to me now and then two. The other day Beyoncé called me about some dance moves.”

I look up to see Tarry, Terra and Jenn all amused with the situation. Tarry asks, “Are you Andrea? I wanted to ask you about some of your outfits that might compliment me?”

Two guys come and ask us to dance. Tarry’s amused that she knows who I am and the guy dancing with me does not. The dance moved to a slow song and Tarry was again amused as Todd has started to cup my buns with his hands. I said, “Please move your hands up or we’re finished dancing.”

Three dances Terra and I share. Her hands moved down to my butt but I’m alright with that. We’re sitting back at the table and it’s storming outside. I mention, “That’s one thing I’m not looking forward to; being all alone when storms hit. I know I’ll be alright, but I don’t appreciate being alone.”

Terra smiles, “You are welcome to come over, but if I have others sharing the apartment; you’ll need to sleep with me if it means staying over.” I think silently; I could handle that once maybe twice. Otherwse I don’t trust myself.

When we go home Terra gives me a ride home and we go over a road that is beginning to flood. I say, “You better stay with us tonight. I think the water is still rising over Clay Road. It would be unsafe to try it again.”

The storm is down to raining when I go to take off my makeup and care for my complexion. I am at the sink working when the shower turns off and Terra steps out. It is embarrassing for both of us. She sees me in my panties and she’s drying herself off, sometimes wearing another towel.

Mom knocks and pokes her head in, asking, “Was it a good night?” Seeing Terra she asks, “Does this mean Clay Road is flooded?”

“I apologize Mom, I would have asked, but I thought you were sleeping. And regarding us being together; I was in and started on my face, not knowing she was taking a shower.” Terra responds, “That’s what happened, Ms. Stephens.”

Mom says, “I’m not very upset, just don’t try making a habit out of it.” Later lighting and thunder rolled back into the area and I was cuddled up with Terra. Though I was out of her arms before people were getting up.

Come Tuesday morning I’m ready to fly out to Chicago for seven promotion stops in two and a half days. While the tutus are doing well they don’t need promoting like our fall fashions. There is a women’s soccer bash I’m to attend and play in a celebrity charity game. The women competing are mostly 25-40 in various degrees of fitness. This allows me to appear reasonably well. I have some ten pieces of clothing to be auctioned off for various women’s scholarships. I add three outfits. My autograph is sought after by a number of people. When I ask why. Several professional and college women tell me. “If you succeed in the fashion industry, your signature now, will be worth more later.” One college woman says in another year, we won’t be able to get near you or we’ll have to wait in a long line.”

I ask JC about it and she says, “The possibility is getting more likely as we’ve already committed to a winter line. And we are planning what can carryover or be tweaked for next year’s fashion lineup.”

She says, “The bigger issue is whether you’ll blow things or go out on your own?”

I ask, “Why would I do that?”

JC says, “Your business classes and others will be telling you, you could make more out on your own.”

But I respond, “I’d have to pay an agent and others to do what you and the company are already doing. I suspect some of the costs of my own people will be borne by me in the future.”

JC says, “Please keep that good head on your shoulders. Your Mom, you and I will negotiate a contract after your school year gets underway. If that works out; I’ll help negotiate a better contract with Xpress Fashions for you.”

I ask, “Will it be possible to underwrite the cost of my sister, Terra or others helping me on trips?”

JC says, “Yes, Jeannette has already told us, you could have used another person with you today. I think your mom or Leah might be with you in Milwaukee by 10 a.m. tomorrow.”

I tell JC, “I appreciate your sensitivity and being proactive, but you need to be communicating those possibilities with me beforehand. I’m not legal age, but I’m old enough I want in on my decisions. Andrew or Andrea are going to get publicly upset by surprises sometime.”

“You’re right, point noted.”

Jeannette and I ate dinner tonight, which was enjoyable, but three days of only her could be a bit much. I’m sure part of our time together is shared by her with JC or Xpress Fashions. I met Tamara from Northwestern University today and expect to see her tomorrow. She’s going to show me a good eating place in Milwaukee, her home stomping territory.

I might be daydreaming a bit too much, but I’m thinking it would be nice to develop my own contacts in various areas on the country. And she has a brother who’s developing his own Uber service.

I was impressed with the Great Lakes. I know I heard there were large ships sailing the Great Lakes, but it is different when I see Lake Michigan. I’m taken back when people say I have an accent. I am getting to enjoy museums and art shows, but I need a change from that. We go to a stage show in Chicago. I got invited back stage but balked when Tamara was to stay out. I said, “I understand but I don’t want her waiting alone, or me being alone if I need to ask advice.” I was surprised that most of the female production staff knew of my fashion line. One person was already planning to wear on of my tutus, another person asked me to sign the shorts that were attached to her tutu.

I had showed Tamara how to place an order through my business account. Several of the actors and production crew were wanting to make special orders. This is common when I relate to personalities. Many people in major cities seem to assume they are special people.

Tamara handled a half dozen orders all with multiple items being ordered. Tamara ordered two outfits herself as part of my reimbursement to her. I’m glad she’s desiring a friendship and not a more personal relationship.

Her brother Lee drove me to O’Hara Airport Friday morning.

I’m moving to my apartment Sunday evening and staying a few days to set the place up. Leah already has most of her apartment arranged. She’s moved from campus to the apartments which she likes, but needs to get use to. The college nightlife is back closer to campus. There is a sports-cpmedy bar plus a coffee spot in our town that is used by the college people. This town also has Central Community College. Our apartment complex also has several students who are working and taking online classes.

One of those students, Dan, is into dressing like a girl, but says he’s gay and neither TG or transitioning. That might be how he really believes or it could be because his friend Trey likes seeing it that way. Leah and I agree it is a non-issue for us. Maybe time will reveal more.

The following day, Terra posts she has for her new apartment two students to interview as possible roommates.

I have two stores near the university that are carrying my clothing line. So I am stepping back from taking orders and allowing web-sites and those retailers handle that.

I am now limiting myself to special orders that JC sends onto me. I’ll dedicate 12-20 hours per week to designing new or refining old designs. For the fall I’ve added a fifties retro look with a tutu designed to look like a poodle skirt.

I planned to go home to Hillside for the weekend, but decide to experience the school communities here. I can’t go into most of the bars, except those that have IDs for underage students, or an outdoor courtyard open to the public.

Thursday night we go to the Prophet’s Pub, famed for Will Rogers a prophet of sorts from the 1920s. It is said he was to have been there several times. George Carlin is one of the few names I recognize but he was a comedian not a prophet.

Friday night Sheryl Dobbs picks us up with a friend and takes us over to Central City and shows me some places; telling me which to go only with a Central City person or without my State Center clothes. Finally Sheryl stops at café near the campus, telling me, “Don’t worry this is no ordinary old coffeehouse.” With that we’re walking over a brick patio to get inside. The inside is larger than it looked from the outside. Once we’re in Sheryl is looking around, obviously for someone she expects to see. We walk into the larger room before someone calls her, “Sheryl over here!” Surprisingly I recognize the person waving to her as Sheryl’s phone rings. It is Janice Richards, the artist I came to know in the spring.

Janice comes over gives me a kiss on the cheek along with a hug and steps back. “Wow, Andrea you’ve coming a long way in a short time. Come hurry and get settled in. Chad’s on at nine and then art takes over.

Sheryl and I sit with Jan and her group. We’re taking up two good-size tables. Janice shares that Chad Bacon is here trying out a number of songs he’s adding to his repertoire for a tour of shows. I giggle a number of times through the first fifteen minutes. During a pause as Chad changes instruments, Janice asks, “What’s with the giggle?”

I apologize, “I’m sorry but my folks wouldn’t identify with this.”

“Nor would you dad or mom wear most of the clothes you design.” Jan yells up to Chad, “Sorry but we have a novice just getting into your music and philosophy.”

Chad adjusts his seat as he yells back, “Janice, if she can’t sing especially well send her up later.” Chad resumes his conversation with the crowd and another song, ‘No Rhet” (rhetoric).

I am a novice to this music so I lean to Janice and whisper, “Is he serious he doesn’t want a good singer? I don’t understand, his songs are good.”

Taelor a friend says, “The message can be lost on a good singer. This isn’t a concert, it’s for those slowing down to think.”

‘Lost Souls’ is a commentary or politics and power, inferring parties and would be leaders have not only lost their souls but are urging others to join them. It hits me hard, as did Taelor’s comments.

Leah sees me the next morning and asks, “What happened to Momma’s little girl?” She right I changed last night. I’m mostly the same person, but my innocence was cracked badly last night.

Mrs. Dobbs calls me around 10:00 a.m., “Hey, Andrea or is it Andrew today? I’d like to take you behind the scenes of the University’s Art Department.” When she told me to dress casual, I opted for sandals a casual skirt and peasant blouse. The skirt is at least five years old from Leah’s old clothes.

Megan Hach and Ruth stopped by before Heather Dobbs had arrived to pick me up. Heather says, “You can come on the tour, if you can get lost when I want to visit with Andrea.” Ruth stays back while Megan comes with us, which makes me happier.

The tour includes art work being restored, some of the pieces are treasure worthy. I had no idea stuff like that was done near where I’d be going to school. Some of the art work I see, Ms. Dobbs says usually isn’t shared with the public. I guess and am told I’m right. ‘Most of the pieces would be offensive to enough people that it’s not generally shown. Late August there is an Art for Artists Exhibit. It will be a rare time some of the sculptures and painting are shown.

Heather asks, how I feel. I say, “I guess it’s a compliment that you trust me from the very beginning. Or were you trying to scare me to see if I’d go running home?”

“Yes I trust you, but I never had a thought of scaring you to go home. I thought your tangle with Mr. Murphy established that you don’t scare easily. I and some of your friends like J C want to be able to speak to you as an adult.” We stop for lunch and Heather takes off her light vest as we sit down to lunch. Her blouse reveals that she’s well-endowed and is wearing no bra.

When I have trouble not looking, until she says, “That’s one of a number of areas you need to mature. I know down inside you’re a teenage boy, hormones or not your mind still thinks as one. You have breasts and you want people to understand. Between my daughter and others being safe with you and you growing as an artist and business person, I think you need people to be honest with you and expect more out of you.”

She smiles, “If I would bare my chest and pose nude for you. I’d want you drawing me and not drooling over me. And whether it’s me or someone else, I don’t want things spreading over social media or being shared with your friends. You do that with a design, and copycats will be in production first. You play with a friend or client’s heart and relations are compromised and deals could be destroyed.

“You’re going to make mistakes and I believe I’m one of those people you can come to and trust when you do. But I’m also someone who will dare to offend you beforehand. I hope you can handle that or know it’s your problem. I don’t need to be a friend.”

A half hour later Megan catches back up with us, asking, “Did I miss anything?” Back at my apartment I change into Andrew’s clothes and I’m sketching designs into the morning and the rising of the sun. Megan’s amused that I wanted to be Andrew as I was designing and sketching. It was nice to have her beside me when I was thinking of fabrics and colors.

With her help I had chosen not only the winter colors, but bright lighter colors to contrast with them. JC Hopkins immediately responded, “I am glad you have colored outside of the lines again. Congratulations, we like what you have done, but more is asked of you.” They’re wanting me to design special outfits for winter galas and begin to design several prom or unusual bridesmaid dresses for the coming year.

Once off the phone with JC, Megan says, “Let’s go to breakfast my treat. Take a quick shower and wear the outfit of your choice.” I look in my bedroom and she has an outfit of Andrew’s and an outfit of Andrea’s. I turn around to ask her preference, but I hear the apartment door closing instead. I shower and put on my granny dress of white linen with embroidery around the neck and bust-line as well as along the bottom of the skirt. I am doing my makeup in Andrea’s apartment when there’s a knock.

I unlock the door to let Megan in and go back to finish my makeup. She says, “I was hoping I’d find you in here.” I smile at having a woman watching me finish my makeup and brushing my hair.

We’re to the restaurant ordering, when I tell the waitress to, “Make sure I get the check please.”

She says, “I’m Donna, do I have the pleasure of waiting on the young Andrea Stephens?” When I tell her I am. She says, “It is a pleasure to wait upon you and your guest.”

Our breakfast is simple and our conversation is delightful. I am immersed in conversation as Andrea. Megan and I are developing a deep friendship. Somehow we both know to keep it as a friendship and not respond to our attraction of each other.

I am back home the next two weeks and most of it is purely a time to relax and make sure thigs are ready for school. I do have one overnight to Charlotte, North Carolina with a side trip to Ashville. The later might be a smaller community, but it is a very good market for my clothing. The warmth of the young women I meet with, is especially heartening for one on the road. I take an extra night to meet with a bunch of them over dinner. Suzanne and her Aunt Bree become friends that I will keep.

The last week I make a day trip into the Big Apple and another day into Philadelphia and back. While I visit some stores, the trip is mostly because their media people were upset I had not been back yet. The Philly media had previously talked to Andrew so this time it’s Andrea that shows up with JC Harper. Upon our return we went to my apartments. JC is happy that it is set up form my work as well as school. But she took me to a specialty store and we selected a designing table with all the blings as well as a tablet exclusively for work.

Mom came along for the first week of school to help me settle in. She did take one day to be back with Heidi sending her off out of state to college. Dad is traveling with her hauling her essentials and more.

The first two days at University High are rather pleasant, as I’m making a few new friends. Tina (Christina), Gil, Hennessey and Shannon are all in my grade with Holly a friend of Sheryl’s. Sheryl and Holly both have boyfriends but I’m not ready to Brett and Harvey friends quite yet.

Mr. Hanks my American history teacher feels a need to tell me out loud, “Please be upfront with any difference you have with me or trouble in understanding what I am asking of you. Your teacher Mr. Murphy is distantly related to me.”

I ask, “Should I be changing classes or something? I thought I was to have Mr. Deemer for Current World History?”

He says, “Deemer’s class was filled up by the time you registered. I’m the American History teacher and it is required for graduation. My suggestion is that you learn to work through your problems and not play games.”

I have history on Wednesdays and again on Fridays and Friday I’m back in class but now me is Andrea. Mr. Hanks asks, “Would it be agreeable for you to sign all your work for this class as Andy?”

I say, “Andie with an ‘ie’ and we have a deal.” We agree. Though part of me is leery, I like his teaching style and rapport with the class. Going out of class on Friday I go by his desk and compliment him. “I like the way to teach class. I think it should be easy to get along.”

Coach Bedford has me penciled in for the girls’ volleyball team. She dares to predict I will see limited playing time on the junior varsity team if I’m good and learn the rules.

Frau. Schneider my German II instructor asks me to take the name Frau. Lena. I ask, “What if I’m Andrew?”

She responds, “Are not Andrew and Andrea the same person, so Lena is you. A week from today I want each of you to write a story introducing yourself with your German name. Please find a city or village in Germany where you or your ancestors might live or come from. Include what rivers are nearby and/or the topography of the land?”

I will have Women in Literature with Ms. Hopkins this semester and I scheduled to have her for advanced composition next semester. I speak to her after class asking, “Why can’t it be just Literature instead of Women in Literature? I feel like I’m being inundated to be a girl.”

Jennifer Hopkins says, “You might want to address that question to your Faculty Advisor Ms. Stein. My guess is you already know a lot more about being male and Andrew. This might help immerse you more in the mindset of how Andrea and females sees their world.”

Mom picks me up after school as we are heading back to Hillside for a long weekend…

Story to be continued…

The following week, Ms. Hopkins stops me to ask if I asked my school counselor about having to many classes emphasizing feminine studies. I tell her, “No, since my German class as Lena and my Women in Literature classes are on the same days. I’ve decided to make those my days I’d come to school as Andrea.”

Ms. Hopkins said, “But I saw you here yesterday Andrea?”

I smile saying, “I didn’t say, I would be limited to those days. I was going to be designing some clothes after I got home from school. I’m usually Andrew when I do most of the designing. I felt the desire to integrate my tasks so Andrea is well-rounded and known for designing as well.” I can see a question pop up in Ms. Hopkins head so I tell her. “I did quite well if you ask me come spring I’ll show you the outfit and a dress I designed as Andrea.”

Ms. Hopkins assigns my next book to read to be by an author I had not heard of Jennifer Finney Boylan. The book is “She’s Not There.” It soon becomes evident that the book and its story will hit a cord with me. It is an autobiography of James Boylan’s life transitioning to that of Jennifer Finney Boylan. It is much more than about the physical transition.

I decided for my German class that Lena’s came from Baden, Germany where some of my ancestors came from a century and a half ago. They were on my mother’s, mother’s side of the family. It is near France and the Rhine River, but it is the Oos River that runs through it. It is nestled in the Black Forest. Even I had heard of the black forest. An Aunt has a cuckoo clock that came from the black forest. A quick little research had me back to thinking of a bigger world.

Taking time to design and promote clothes, my world had become narrowly focused. Frau. Schneider and Ms. Hopkins are doing their part to get me back to earth and stay grounded while opening me to the larger world.

I text JC Harper and ask, “Is any of our fashion lines is sold around the world.”

It is the next day before I get a message from JC. She says, “We have not sought to introduce it internationally, but yes. We have sold some in Europe, England and Africa via our websites.

The next day as Andrew, I’m confronted by some guys bigger then myself. Marc and Haes shove a poster size picture of me in my prom gown so I and others see. They amusingly asked, “What do you have to say for yourself; isn’t this a bit girly for a guy?”

I’m not sure what to say or what trouble I might be in for. Finally I smile and simply say, “Well, not all guys could have pulled it off as well as I did.”

Marc slaps my shoulder hard enough that I take a step back, but I’m relieved as it didn’t seem like he’s angry with me. He says, “Just testing you man. I question a person who won’t stand up for their self you pass the test.”

“Well, I wasn’t comfortable with it initially but I got myself in a problem and the teacher gave me no room to back down without failing. It took some older girls to help me look that good. Voila, girls like what I design and now I do as well.”

Haes says, “You’re telling me Chicks like that?”

“I can’t say they all do, nor do most want their boyfriends doing it much. But I’ve since heard about at least five guys who allowed their girlfriend or some other girls help them to do it.”

Luckily we all need to get to class but it’s the catalyst for several conversations during school with various students.

It is good to have Sheryl Dobbs and her friends that have quickly become mine as well. Maya and Kayla seemingly have been prodding Haes to consider dressing up. But they’re soon down the hallway and I go on with my day.

Today Mr. Hanks challenges our class, “Most of you have learned American History in bits and pieces as younger students. Now we’re going to begin where European settlers come to America. I want you to learn more than just dates and names. Reports should be information heavy but include how you see and understand this history. Like when we get to the American Revolution and settling the different states learn more than is in the book. Use class discussion, extra reading, internet searches and reference books. Were any of your ancestors in America, part of the fighting, etc?

“How were the Native Americans treated in this state? There are names of towns, rivers and areas named by or for some of those people. We usually learn how Native Americans were in the west. But what about here?”

Andrea and our female students, how would you have been treated back then. Someone says, “We were often treated more like property even if we own some land. I think, Andrea would have hidden her second self away. Though Native Americans might have been better in accepting her.”

It is at the end of school and I am leaving that Haes and his girlfriend Tiffany text me and ask if they could give me a ride home. Haes is noticeably nervous as he drives. Tiff introduces herself and asks, “If I order two of your outfits and one is noticeably a bigger size; am I going to get questions coming back at me? I’d even prefer that they came to me as one package.”

I say, “No questions should be asked though you might prefer to order it over the phone and suggest one order is a gift. Ask for a gift receipt come for the outfit that is not for you.”

Tiff says, “No, I’m not planning on returning either outfit.”

“I wasn’t suggesting that. But if you want to make sure questions are not asked. The way I suggest would give the person receiving the order a clear understanding you are intentionally ordering two outfits of different sizes.”

Haes says, “I like that idea. I’m comfortable ordering that way… Oops.”

I’m riding in the back seat and tap Haes on the shoulder. “Relax, that is between you and Tiffany. Unless you want my help in some way.”

Tiff asks, “Do you have any suggestions of an outfit or two that would work better for him if he would so decide.”

“His Adams apple is not very noticeable but a silk or satin scarf can be a colorful distraction and help. There is a bright blue jumper with a red and yellow pullover top that would be nice and practical. Better yet how about we stop someplace, my apartment or even in the car and go through the possibilities.”

It is my first time having others from school stop at my apartment. I see my mother’s car so I use Andrea’s apartment. I quickly change and put on some makeup. Tiffany and Haes are both taken with the size of the change in my appearance. My mother knocks when she realizes I’m in the other apartment. But she respects our privacy. It takes about an hour to look through clothing. There is a skirt in a fall red that is selected. A white blouse and a print blouse are both ordered.

Tiffany orders a dress and an outfit for herself once I tell her I’m willing to give a fifteen percent discount along with the free shipping they qualified for.

They have a target date when Tiffany and Haley are planning to attend a school event. I suggest they choose another date and before that schedule a salon visit and a time out involving just them.

Tiffany says, “Andrea if you’d be willing to make it a foursome our friend Margi would probably go with us.” I tell them I will think about it but I wasn’t promising anything.

Tiffany and Haes are leaving when I use the adjoining door to go to Andrew’s apartment to see my mother. “Hi Mom, it’s nice to see you. I didn’t know you would be here. Are you cooking a home cooked meal?”

Mom smiles, “I told you I would come unannounced sometime. With you coming home this weekend I thought I’d come up tonight and stay to give you a ride on Friday. I talked to Leah. I agreed with her that I’d make chicken stir-fry tomorrow night. If that is alright with you.” I lick my lips as Mom is a really good cook and stir-fry is one of her best dishes.

I ask, “Would you rather take me out tonight so we can focus on visiting?” Mom is noticeably happy, though I think she was wanting to talk more with Andrew. Being out in public we both find it awkward to visit as the person who is not there so it is Andrea Mom gets to visit with. Once we’re back at the apartment I will be more willing to visit as Andrew.

It is no surprise to my mother that classmates are more interested in asking Andrea to school events or a community dance after a football game. I check my messages and I have a request from JC to do two appearances on the Saturday and Sunday after the first home football game and dance. Since they’re reasonably close by, it is very workable. JC will be there at the second appearance and we will talk over the selections of my winter designs that are soon to be released. There are several more offerings that will be offered closer to Christmas.

I am surprised when Mom asks, “Are you any more tempted to change to present yourself more or exclusively as Andrea?”

“Mom, I’m surprised you asked that. I’ve told you that I’m Andrew as well as Andrea and I don’t plan to change. You and Dad, along with my counselor are the first people I’d talk about it with, if I were thinking about it.”

The thing I like most about this visit of my mother is the girl moments we’re having. Among other things she wants me sensitive and understanding about other women. “Other women’, I like that.

We are out eating near the university when Terra Hobbs, my precious friend from last year’s art class, stops at our table to say hello. Mom and I have already visited, so we ask Terra and her friends Jackie and Dana to sit and visit. When I’m introduced, Jackie recognizes my name and says, “No, you’re not Andrea. You look like her/him but you’re not a boy underneath. You would need more makeup and… Well more than you have. Are you one of Andrea’s sisters?”

Terra says, “They both have seen our prom pictures.” She turns to Jackie and Dana, “Seriously this is Andrea. She’s just more naturally Andrea than she was.”

Dana challenges me, “If you’re Andrea Stephens help me to connect with your fashions on-line.” I take her tablet and quickly I’m creating an account for her. I have tapped an icon that will give her an automatic 10% off her next order. I can tell she is impressed, but not quite sure about me being Andrew.

Jackie asks for the same connection; I decide instead to make Terra an associate sales person for me. “I’m sorry Jackie but you’ll need to wait until I get Terra set up as a sales associate. You can go to a local store with my card and get 10% off your order there.”

We are back to just visiting and I like that my mom enjoys being part of the conversation. When mom and I get up to leave, Terra stood and gives me a hug goodbye that ends with an affectionate kiss. I am sure it surprised Terra’s friends.

Mom lets me drive on our way home to the apartment. “Well Andrea, you are quite natural in meeting others and in promoting Andrea’s Threads. I am growing to think you and your designs have what it takes to continue as a thriving business.”

Mom asks, “When does your art and design class at the University begin?”

I say, “It begins next Thursday with Instructor Jean Claude Coztier. He’s already called me using his secretary to tell me fashioning clothes is not real art. It was suggested I change classes. I talked to JC and she says he is well worth a little hassle.”

Mom says, “It sounds like you attract critics as well as admirers. I hope you learn to relate to them as best as possible. Be it an instructor or people in business, you want to be a builder of relationships. And constructively creative how you handle working relationships that are more problematic. I think you do relatively well for a boy your age, but you have some room for growth.”

Come the next morning I am awake before my mother as I’m the one who needs to get ready for the day. I had pinned my hair before going to bed, so it would have more pronounced curls or waves in it for Andrea. I eat a lite breakfast as I check in with JC. She has put items on sale at stores carrying both of our lines of clothing.

I appreciate knowing sales and whether they’re in store, or on line. She commented that a fall outfit I designed and requested a kaki and blue combination, is doing much better than others thought it would. She asks which other fall items I think would do well with the color combination. I give her three suggestions.

I ask, “JC do you know if Jan Richards sent and art print to you or the company for me?” She had and JC agrees to send them to me expressed delivery. I ask for her new contact information.

When I am through school for the day, my Mom picks me up to go to the University Books and Supply Store. Jean Claude addresses me from behind, “I see you have not taken my suggestion yet and transferred to another class.”

I turn and smile to him, introducing my mother before responding to his statement. “JC, my mentor, suggests there are enough good things I will learn from you. She says it will be worth my effort to learn from you.”

Jean ‘pronouncing the French Jon’ says, "It is not quite a mutual admiration society but I agree you can learn much from me.”

I hold back a giggle as Mom responds, “In business one does not always get to choose the people we work with. I admire Jacqueline Harper, for knowing someone she respects; not worrying if it is the best relationship.”

Jean Claude says, “I do not understand putting up with someone that a person does not admire. In my department that person would be gone. Ms. Harper is fortunate to have a reputation the University admires and that we technically are in different apartments.”

Mom forthrightly says, “I am comfortable with you as my daughter’s instructor. But I admire Jacqui more. The business world and employment prospects does not usually give someone all the people that match up well with them. Some whom I respect more than like have proven to be exceptional people though with a different disposition and personality.”

“Professor Coztier, I agree with my Mom. We already talked about my taking the class, so I look forward to seeing you Thursday afternoons.” I have the feeling he might be trouble for me, but I’m not actually sure what his issues are with me. It is mostly gut instinct.

This evening Leah is over by six and both of us are seeking to help mother as she’s making her chicken stir-fry. She has a nice blend of pea pods, water chestnuts, sprouts, sweet red pepper and onions. She makes both wild rice and noodles to please Leah’s taste as well as my own.

As dinner is being prepared Megan Hach knocks at the door to our apartment. So I already knew it should be someone in our building. Megan quickly says, “When did you learn to cook? It smells delicious.”

Mom calls out from the kitchen, “Invite her to eat with us, if she’s not already eaten.”

Megan says, “Your Mom is here and cooking for the two of you. If you two won’t mind my answer to your Mom is: Thank you!”

Leah has no Friday classes so she is free from any worries for tomorrow. She and Mom will go for a late breakfast. I am to take part in a new tradition for me. After dinner and Megan leaves. Leah and Heidi became women to my mom’s way of thinking at thirteen. I am about three years behind, but very new in being seen as a daughter and young woman.

Mom and each of us dress down to relax and spend time as the Stephens women. It is a very new tradition for me that Grandma Hollister introduced to Mom when she was a teenager. I am told that Grandpa Hollister was the second generation with abusive husbands on that side of the family. Grandma like my mother fell in love with the wrong men the first time around.

Grandma Elizabeth took it on herself to break the cycle and raising my Mom as a single parent and her to be a strong and independent woman. Mom’s wearing a robe that doesn’t hide much over a negligee that is much the same. Leah has already changed as well, when mom gives me a gift. The robe I receive and the negligee are very beautiful, but with my gift comes a vagina gaff. I am required to wear all of it.

I can’t believe I am sitting with her and Leah dressed as one of the daughters. Needless to say I am uptight at first. Mom encourages me now and in the near future to discover my body. Leah teases, “I will be very surprised Andrea, if you haven’t been in discovery mode before this.” I’m turning beet red, Leah says, “I thought so.”

Mom and Leah visit saying, “It is best you know your body better than any guy. Feel free to express what you want and make sure no guy dictates to you what you want.” Mom’s fingers make circles around her breasts as bumps appear and her nipple and breasts become firm. Leah is in the process of mimicking our mother. Finally I am asked to do the same.

I feel I am definitely the little sister, but the experience is arousing and as strong as I’d wish for tonight.

We were up until midnight, making school preparation a struggle to get out of bed and ready in time. But I’m pleased with how I look. Sheryl picks me up and gives me a ride to school. Today I’m with my friends before school and at lunch. I text a girl in Germany who has bought two of my outfits. “I am Andrea of Andrea’s Threads in America. I would like to be your friend would that be all right with you.” It will be after school before I see her response, thankfully it is positive.

Frau Schneider is amused that I went to that extent to make contact with someone in Germany. Sophia Franck lives near the Swiss border so she is familiar with Baden. She is amused that I am a high school student and she’s at university.

“Andrea, I like your clothing, but I am surprised to learn you are younger. What causes you to be interested in befriending me?” I text back, "I am happy to hear from you. I will wait to communicate more until Saturday."

Story to be continued…

Story Characters:
Andrew/Andrea Stephens - Me
Heidi, Leah Stephens – Respectively my younger and older sisters
Michele Stephens-Johnson – Mom; Dan Johnson – Step Dad
Jay Johnson – Step brother
Mr. Murphy – Art Teacher; Principal Valarie Hayes
Terra Hobbs, Linda Jones, Jennifer Lach, Sarah James and Clara Kelley-Older Students in the Advance Art class
Caroline, Carrie Druthers– Owner/manager of the women’s Towne Shoppe
Ms. Andrea Miller – Teacher, Home economics, Family Life class
JC Harper – Noted clothing designer
Andrea’s Threads
Girls from school Beverly, Eve, Gwen
Grandmother Elizabeth Hollister
Granddaughter Sharon Hollister
Sandra is a friend and a classmate of Sarah’s
Lisa Jenkins; Doug Martin
Dr. Michele Higgins, Debbie Higgins one of her daughters.
Bridgette and Rita students from high school
Janice Richards Artist (4);
Aunt Teresa Drake and her daughter Allysn
Megan Hach, Elle Stark (kid sister Alaina), Samantha Harden, Ruth Strass
Ryann O’Hara the owner/operator of the Terrace Garden Gowns
Travis and Justus Milner – Friends from Plainfield
Dr. Paula Haverford, she’s the Superintendent at State Center Schools
Heather Dobbs – State Center Art instructor, Daughter Sheryl
Ms. Hannah Stein – Faculty Advisor, Program development
Jennifer Hopkins – Literature and Advanced Composition instructor
Mr. Rich Deemer for Current World History,
Coach Patsy Bedford - Lifetime Phys. Ed
Mr. Barstow – Chemistry;
Frau. Schneider - German II; Sophia Franck – new friend in Germany
Paige, her mother Leigh and Paige’s Aunt Olivia
Tamara – a new friend in Chicago from Northwestern University
Lee - her brother
Suzanne and her Aunt Bree of Ashville
Tina (Christina), Gil, Hennessey and Shannon - in my grade
Holly - a year ahead of me along with Sheryl Dobbs.
Hillside, Hillside High School – Hometown and school
Central City and North State University
University High in Central City
State Center (10 miles SW of Central City and NSU
Plainfield (7 miles from my hometown
Jackie and Dana - Terra’s friends from U
Jean Claude Cozier – Design and Art instructor at the U.
Sophia Franck - German friend

It is nice to be home again for a weekend, we got home in time for me to go to the football game.
Jenn and Clara from last year’s Art class are now seniors at Hillside. Bev and Gwen, my classmates agree to meet us at the game. I was going to go as Andrew as Mom preferred but Jenn said, “We’d be more comfortable with Andrea." So Andrea it is.

Before it was a rarity that I went to football games and now I’m going mostly to visit those who are there. I have on my khaki and blue skirt with the medium weight blue knit sweater. Clare congratulates me for wearing blue for our team. Jenn says, “I saw that at the Towne Shoppe, but I know a half dozen girls who have already bought various combinations. Seeing how it looks on you, I might reconsider buying the dress or the skirt and blouse that I liked.

Jennifer takes a step back and says, “I know what’s different about you?” She pauses Clare and I are waiting for her to finish her thought. “You’re really Andrea, you are more naturally one of us.”

I quickly say, “I’m still Andrew and I’m staying me.” Bev and Gwen are with us and Gwen says, “I think Jenn’s right. You might be Andy but you have comfort being Andrea that you didn’t when I last saw you.”

The football team scores and I join the others jumping up and down clapping, and cheering the score. Jenn turns saying, “That surely had no trace of Andy.” She says, “Terra told me when you’re in a skirt Andrea that you go fully into girl mode. Do you deny that?”

Near the end of the game, Gwen has us go over near the cheerleaders, where we see Caroline Druthers, from the Towne Shoppe and Miss Miller from the home economics class. Miss Miller’s also the cheerleader coach. She says, “I like that skirt, sweater combination you could be a cheerleader.” We continue to talk after I say, “No way!”

Our team has a slim lead and the other team is threatening to score when a new player Matt Scott intercepts the ball for us. Ms. Miller hands me a pair of pom poms and pushes me toward the cheerleaders. Carrie quietly encourages me, “It will be good for you.” Sharon and Zina welcome me, “Welcome, add to the spirit… go with what you know and mimic us when you don’t.”

It isn’t long and the football team is threatening to score as we’re cheering them on. During a time out, I’m ready to lay my pom poms down and join the fans. Sharon says, “No can do it, you don’t want to break our luck.” So I remain and the next play, Matt Scott catches the ball for a score, and the cheerleaders and I run to the edge of the field. Sharon turns, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t give up. Now you’ll need to come to the dance after the game and enjoy the celebration.”

True enough the score with minutes left on the scoreboard took the fight out of the opposition. The game was soon over. Sharon is a good friend of Jennifer, and the two of them team up to get me to agree to the dance. It is the third game of the season and I guess Matt Scott has already made his imprint at the school. Sharon takes me up to him at the dance, saying I’d like to introduce you, Matt, to another boy made good. This is Andrea Stephens.”

Matt smiles as others are congratulating him for the win and his big plays. I joke, “I think it’s great you won, but I’m not much of an athlete.”

Matt asks, “How good are you at dancing?” We’re dancing and Matt jokes, “If my sisters find out we met and I didn’t visit with you, I’d be in big trouble. They were upset when we moved to town, but then found out it’s the town of Andrew and Andrea. They were upset with our parents that you had moved.” The dance ends with a flare and Matt spins me off the floor with one arm and sets me down lightly with two. I land and stop face to face with him.

I’m hoping no one notices as I regain my composure. “Well, I hope they don’t take it personally. I suspect they know…” I shake my head as I find myself now into another slower dance with Matt. “You know I’m also Andrew.”

Matt kind of laughs, “I don’t see a trace of him, nor do I intend for us to fall madly in love.” He says, “Change of subject, are you going to be at the Towne Shoppe at all if my sisters want to catch up to you.”

I can only answer, “I suppose but I’m not sure when.”

Matt pulls me in closer and I find myself resting my head leaning on him. He says, “Someone told me you become more girly as Andrea, but I thought that was just a given.” I try to lift my head but he lightly holds me there. “I suspect you just needed to relax and let your hair down.”

I ask, “I’m impressed with a jock who’s sensitive. Are you older than I think?”

He says, “Yes actually, my dad held me back a year to play football. But my sensitivity comes from my mother and grandmother who have done the majority of raising us. I do see my Dad more during football season and the holidays.”

Matt asks, “How do you like doing a lot of traveling? Dad says it’s great.”

I say, “My Mom doesn’t let me do it as much as the companies want. It’s nice enough but not as nice as most would think.” The dance ends and I pull Matt off the dance floor. I did it because I didn’t want to dance with a guy anymore. Matt hangs around until other football players come and take him away.

Gwen and Bev with their guys find me again. Bev says, “I’m surprised how much of the girl stuff you’ve gotten into. The big university town seems to have influenced you already.”

I make a stern face, “It didn’t that was Matt’s doing. We talked about his two sisters.”

Bev says, “Did he force you to lean on his shoulder?”

Sarcastically, “I’m sorry if I let down my hair and acted like a girl. Do you have something against that?”

Gwen says, “No, we just want you to admit it and then relax and enjoy yourself.”

Jennifer comes over with Sharon and two cheerleaders who I didn’t know before. We’re soon dancing as a group of girls as I observe many of the guys are around the dance floor talking to other guys. It hits me that I use to be them. I’m thinking even Andrew dances more, but then again I’m the one who does the most socializing. Coach Miller’s here and she coaxes Sharon and the cheerleaders to get the guys of the football team dancing.

I look over and see Jacob Turner, he’s the male version of a wallflower, but he’s nice. I walk up to him and say, Jake, how about a dance?” He faints that he doesn’t know how but I tug him, saying, "Then fake it like me." Jake does know how to dance and we enjoy our dance.

He then gets the nerve to ask Darlene. I had thought they had like each other, but then Darla’s as shy as he is.

I’m ready to leave but I can’t find Jenn and Sharon is occupied. Bev and Gwen are busy. I know the town and it’s not that long of a walk, but no. Dan Isaac looks like he’s leaving, and I know him, but not well. He’s soon gone before I asked.

I fidget for my phone, I don’t like calling home. Matt walks over to me, asking, “I’m needing to go home. I was wondering if you might like a ride home.”

“I was just about to call home. A ride would be good, thank you.” I’m thinking I would have walked by myself if I were Andrew tonight. Being with Matt is nice. “I hope you don’t think I’m crazy liking time as a girl?”

Matt says, “You have a lot of friends here. That helps me to see you for whom you are. I don’t know Andrew, but I think we could be friends. I like what I see in you. I know my sisters will love that I met you.”

I am wondering why Matt is being nice to me. I like it, but most of my friends lately have been girls. Plus I kind of feel guilty and weird about how I’m feeling about being with another guy. I feel awkward about being quiet on our way to my house. “I’m sorry Matt, but I’m not used to guys being nice like friends.”

He asks, “What’s your problem, are you thinking I’m after something?”

“No, I’m not afraid of anything, but I usually pass guys in the hall and all we say is hi, something simple like that. I enjoy having a conversation with you.”

“Are you afraid of being friends?”

“That’s silly, what would make you think that. My Mom says it happens when one’s afraid there might be more to the friendship. Tell you the truth, it surprised me that I danced and talked with you.”

I tell Matt where to turn when we’re at my street and which driveway to pull into. I’m ready to say thanks and goodbye, but find myself leaning over and giving him a kiss. I’m glad he didn’t overreact but now I’m embarrassed as I fiddle with the door handle, saying thanks and goodbye.

Once in the house, I hurry to a sofa I never sit in. Mom comes in asking, “How were the game and the dance?” She says, “I was surprised you went to the dance. Did you have a good time or was it awkward as Andrea?”

I say, “I spent most of the game talking to friends and saying hi to others. Gwen and others think I’ve changed, do you think so?”

Mom asks, “How do they think you’ve changed?”

“Gwen and Bev said they heard I‘m more natural as a girl when I’m Andrea, like tonight.”

Mom says, “And that surprises you. It seems to me that you would be more natural acting like a girl when you go out as Andrea.”

“But Mom, I’m still a boy. I like being Andrew that is who I am.”

Once Mom sits across from me, I know more is coming. “You also like being Andrea; like tonight you were going as Andrew, but Jennifer encouraged you to go as Andrea. It was like you didn’t miss a beat and became your girl self quickly.”

I say, “Miss Miller near the end of the game gave me pom poms and had me walk over near the cheerleaders. I did what I could, mimicking movements I didn’t know. I even kicked up my legs. Whenever the team scored I jumped up and down like a girl.” Mom smiles knowing I’m saying more than I plan.

I ask, “Have you heard about this new player they have. I don’t know what he did the previous two games but he did extremely well tonight.”

I’m hemming and hawing about saying more. Mom shares, “I don’t know much about him, but his mother told me his two sisters were upset when they found out you’re going to another school. I wouldn’t be surprised if they look for you at Carrie’s shop.”

Mom thinks to ask, “Who gave you a ride home? It looked like you talked before you came into the house.”

“Were you watching me?”

Mom says, “I looked to see who came home. Leah was out too, but no I wasn’t spying on you. But I would like to know who gave you a ride home, I didn’t recognize the car.”

“If you need to know it was Matt Scott. I couldn’t find Jennifer when I was wanting to get home. Bev and Gwen, well they were with others. I was about to phone home when Matt asked if he could give me a ride.”

“You didn’t know each other and he offers you a ride, and you take it?”

I say, “Mom, it wasn’t quite like that. We talked and danced together earlier. We talked again once, it’s like we quickly became friends.” Mom’s looking at me waiting to know more. “Sharon the Captain of the Cheerleaders introduced us as two boys who made good. It was like he knew I’m a boy, but he sees me as a total girl when I’m dressed as Andrea.”

Mom says, “He must have become awfully comfortable if he’s the one who gave you a kiss.”

“It wasn’t him Mom and I have no explanation but I was the one who kissed him as I got out of the car. That’s why you found me in here.”

I lean over to Mom hoping to get a hug and not a reprimand. Mom says, “Come here.” She holds me close. “Mom he’s a sensitive guy, not like I think of jocks. He has both his parents, but he says he’s that way because his Mom and grandmother did most of the raising.”

Mom says, “I think that’s enough for tonight, but remember to take care of your clothes and take care of your makeup and skin before you go to bed.” I start for my room and my Mom asks, “Did anyone remark about your outfit? Are they impressed as much as I am?”

I wave to Mom, “Yes, but I’ll tell you in the morning if that be okay.” I hang my skirt and neatly fold my sweater. I’m getting ready for bed when Leah comes home. She met old friends and one in particular. She asks, “Andrea, I’m glad it’s you. Would you mind if I share girl to girl?”

Dale was someone she had a crush on years ago. She was younger than him and they never dated. Tonight he’s back saying he’s ready to finish college in December. “Damn Andrea, I wanted him in the worse way.” They had spent some intimate time together, more than I wanted to know. But she had to tell someone and no way was it going to be our parents.

“He’s going onto grad school, and he’s coming back here to do it. How am I going to concentrate if tonight is how it’s going to be?”

We almost always talk to Mom if she’s up, but I tell Leah she needs to shower before if she does that.

I know my feelings for Matt don’t compare but Leah’s story has me thinking. And when I hit the pillow, it has me dreaming of him. I’d say, ‘Yuck,’ except it didn’t feel like yuck.

Come morning my Mom wakes me early and after a welcomed shower I dress and Andrew is once again visible. We’re still the only two awake, sitting across from each other with tea and a buttered roll. Mom grins asking, “Tell me more about last night.”

I went to the game and people were happy to see Andrea. A lot of small talk of things about my line of clothes including liking the blue and tan/khaki outfit I had on. Did I tell you, Mom, JC says they’re using that combination more? I suggested that for some of it to use tan instead of the Kaki.”

Mom says, “Back to the subject.”

“Well, I went with Jenn Hock and Clara and we met up with Gwen and Bev. We kind of floated around, splitting up here and there as one would get caught up in conversations. We weren’t usually into the game. Gwen and Jenn both think as Andrea, I’m more natural as a girl than before. Mom, it’s not like I’ve modeled or gone out as Andrea. It’s like they find it easier to talk to Andrea.”

She asks, “Well does that give you more incentive as Andrew to become more outgoing and to help carry conversations.”

“I talk Mom, but even the guys, like last night this Matt Scott knowing I’m a guy relates to me being Andrea.”

Mom asks, “And who gave Matt a kiss last night after receiving a ride home.” Entering the room, Leah says, “Who’s Matt and who kissed who?”

I want to say that was Andrea and it was, but it is also me. I want to run but I’m sure it will come up until it is aired out. “I went to last night’s high school game. This Matt is new to the school and last night was the star of the game. I went to the dance afterward and was forced to dance with this Matt. He even knew I’m a boy, but he responded to Andrea whom he could see.”

Leah asks, “So how did he force you to dance with him? And was it he who forced a kiss on you?”

Mom says, “I’m interested in these answers, though I know parts already.”

My voice pitches up, “Mom how do you know anything.” Leah chirps, “Social media, nothing’s secret.” Mom nods though she doesn’t say from whom.”

“Matt asked me to dance and took me by the hand to the dance floor. What was I to do? It was to be just one dance, but we were talking and it went to slow dance. He’s a neat sensitive guy and he’s easy to talk with.”

“We were like strangers for the rest of the evening. When I wanted to come home, Jennifer was gone, and Sharon was with some football player. Even Bev and Gwen were occupied. I either needed to walk home or call for a ride. I didn’t want to look like a little girl having to call her parents.”

Leah says, “You’re going to tell us that Matt out of the goodness of his heart asked if you needed a ride. And you said yes of course. I didn’t hear about the kiss yet, so I’m to guess he saw that as a perk for giving you a ride home. But you said he knows you’re a boy.”

I say, “You’re not believing me, but I swear he did ask if I needed a ride home. And it wasn’t like he was still a stranger. I trusted him and the truth is I kissed him, though I don’t know why.”

Leah hugs me, “Andrew as Andrea, you’re more and more a girl. I don’t know him. But I suspect the girls you’re friends with find him attractive and so did Andrea.” Mom is holding the two of us in her arms, agreeing.

I’m expecting my Mom to say, “If we need to back away or call this quits, we can’ She doesn’t. She says, “Make sure you share this with your counselor at the University. She mentioned something like this would be possible.”

Mom says, “Andrew, I don’t want you feeling ashamed or in denial. I think you’ve decided Andrea’s part of you. Leah and I both support you, you’re strong and there’s more to you than meets the eye.”

It’s 10:30 before I arrive at Carrie’s Towne Shoppe; ironically it’s the one place I’m readily accepted as Andrew. But I’m no longer stock boy. Several customers come hoping I’m here and can give them my opinion, but it’s not always my area of expertise. Lara Dole is a young thirty something, off to the Caribbean or a cruise in the Mediterranean, and wants my opinion on swimsuits and dressing for the weather there.

It is flattering and she is a very attractive 30 something. Not much falls into my lines of clothing, but Denise another salesperson, and I help her quite well. She did not need to try on for us as much as she did. Denise shares, “She’s better off hearing praise from us, in case her husband doesn’t notice or know to say anything.”

I say, “How could he not notice?”

“They say at the country club he often does not compliment her and can be sarcastic.” The sale is nearly a thousand dollars, she’ll look like a million, and the money is considered well spent.

I plan on staying only a little longer, but come 1:30 two teen girls give a shriek, “You’re here! You’re here! Our brother said you were home this weekend. Did he tell you we’re disappointed you’re not in school with us? We told friends in Denver you live here and they didn’t believe us.”

Mia says, “Matt said he saw you as Andrea and even danced with you. Unfortunately, we didn’t go to the dance, since it was after the game.” Mia says, “I could have stayed except for my sister being with me.”

I suspect Kayla’s a freshman but she’s in tenth grade, a grade behind Mia. Their actions say they’re sisters, and they’re both attractive but fairly different. Reminding me more of Leah and Heidi and myself as Andrea. Though we each have similarities to our mother; we are distinctly different.

They’re close to leaving with Kayla getting a skirt that she’ll use a lot and a blouse good for this fall. Mia’s dark hair and eyes contrast well with reds and sharp lines and prints. She gets a tiered blouse out of my collection and has her eyes on future purchases. Matt and his older brother Mark come in after their sisters.

My hair is still long and still a bit feminine; I become somewhat uncomfortable as Andrew with him seeing me. I introduce myself as Andy Stephens. Mark says, “I guess that puts tonight off.”

“What does that mean,” I ask?

Mark says, “Our folks are taking us out tonight to celebrate Matthew’s big game. Matt and our sisters wondered aloud to our parents about inviting you, but that was for Andrea. We’re going out to the Credo Club. Our parents even reserved your table if you didn’t show up and bounce us out.”

Mark sees a poster of Andrea and points, “No offense, but that can’t be you, right? You use a model for those shots.”

Carrie comes over to make sure things are alright. She says, “Matt you played a whale of a game last night, even better than the prior game.” She looks around, “I see Mia and Kayla have gotten to meet Andrew and make some purchases. Is there anything more we can do to help you?”

Mark says, “Yea, tell me he has a sister Andrea. There’s no way he’s the girl in the poster, who Matt says he danced with last night.”

Carrie turns to me, “Andrew, I’m getting that from more and more people from out of town. Even more, townies find you making a very believable girl.” I close my eyes hoping things will change when they’re open again.

I say, “It’s the persona I’ve embraced. What you see in the two images is me.”

Matt asks, “How hard is it to change back if you’d be willing to go out to dinner with us.”

“Jennifer Lach and I are to get together and meet up with some others at her place after that. I owe her dinner for how much she’s helped me. We’re going to the Credo, but if you’re there before us. I guess we could get a nearby table. Jennifer’s a science geek though she doesn’t look it.”

Mark says, “We’ll plan to be there around 6:30, a little after knowing our mom. If you’re there fine, I expect you’re a busy person.”

Denise does me a favor and checks out the girls at the register. Carrie agrees that I’ve put in a good showing at the store and can leave. I’m shaking my head as I leave and texting Jenn.

All my Mom insists on is I get in two hours of reading and save tomorrow for Grandma Stephens.

I owe Jenn a nice sit-down meal and the early performance at Credo. She’s petite and I already know the red dress she’s wearing. I’m planning on my nice black dress and Mom insists, “I think you need to stay with your plan with Jennifer. If you decide to take a table near them, I’m sure Nick Credo will find a way to accommodate your requests.”

Reading Jennifer Boylan’s “She’s Not There” serves as a reminder of the courage others have in embracing themselves or those dear to them. It’s on my tablet which I take with me, in case Jenn or others are interested. Interested in understanding people kind of like me.

I am anxious about how I’m dressing up for Jenn, worried the Scotts won’t understand. Finally, I say, heck with worrying and enjoy how well I can now do my makeup. I’m lightening my complexion, simple colors pop and I like the look. When Jennifer stops in, she feels a need to tell my mother about Matt and me dancing last night. My saving grace is Mom doesn’t mention the kiss or likelihood of seeing the Scotts.

Jenn’s the one who tells me about The Key Strings performing this weekend at the Credo. Nick does have a great table for us, for the dinner and the show. It is Jenn who recognizes the Scotts and says it is okay to sit near them for dinner. Another table will be ours come to the early show.

Jenn and I sit between the sisters and Matt. Margaret Scott asks, “How long did it take for your parents to become comfortable with you dressing so convincingly as Andrea? Your dress is modest by today’s standards, but most girls don’t have the legs you do.”

Jenn says, “When Andrew showed up in our Advanced Art class he became our little brother. He had drawings of gowns or dresses for each of us before he started on the gown he thought up. Andrew hadn’t listened to all the teacher said in an assignment. It wasn’t until February or March, it dawned on him he wasn’t getting out of his predicament. Andie said he was going to use a friend to model it, but Mr. Murphy threatened to fail him. He was also to wear it to the prom or a special dance. Terra, who had become his number Uno big sister decided to take him to the prom. He got discovered by JC Harper when he modeled his gown and made the news for going to the prom as a girl.”

I say, “It was Terra who first saw how I liked designing the clothes. She also convinced me to be comfortable with myself wearing them. I still see myself as Andrew, but it is a lot easier changing to be Andrea, then it is back to being Andrew.”

As we’re eating Mia asks, “Don’t you get tired of eating like a bird to stay thin?”

Jenn says, “She had to learn fast if she was going not only to fit into her gown but to look good in it. We got her to do jazzercise with us to exercise so she did not get bulky muscles. I think she’ll get tired of it, but for now, Andrew enjoys being able to do it.”

There is a pianist playing as we eat and Mr. Scott took his wife to dance as do other men and their wives. I’m praying and thankful Matt has not gotten up to dance.

When they come back I am glad the discussion changes to Matt’s big game. It is after 7:30, we’re finished eating and the new group is ready to set up. Mr. Scott suggests his boys be gentlemen as he takes his wife for another dance.

Mark asks Jennifer and Matt asks me. Nick has their house photographer to take a picture of us dancing. I had promised him a better picture earlier in the summer and he had not yet received one, my fault.

Matt and I once again have no problems visiting. He even asks if I’ll come to see the team play when they’re up to Appleton. They’re a Hillside rival and I know others like Terra plan to go when they play.

I think Matt and Mark are hurt when we don’t ask them to stay and sit with us for the show. Nick is happy as it gives other customers a better opportunity to ask for autographs and take selfies with me.

Sunday morning, I’m up and dressing as Andrea to see Grandma Stephens, I generally present myself to her as Andrew. I’m dressing a little special but not overly fancy. Mom pops her head into my room and upon seeing me, asks, “You’re going to church as Andrea.”

“No one told me we’re going to church!”

Mom says, “I told you Friday when we were coming home, and, I repeated it again yesterday.” My white dress with crochet work at the top is dropping down with my arms finding their places. Leah says, “It better be Andrea as that is too nice for Andrew to go out to dinner in.”

Leah gives a light giggle before saying, “Mom it is interesting, even with her bra protruding her chest out there, she’s neater as she eats.”

Mom replies, “Andrea sits up and eats much more neatly, but one must credit Andrew is better than he was.”

I tell them, “I’ll stay home from church and go out to eat afterward.” Mom indicates that’s not an option, so I begin to change.

“That is not an option either. If you can’t go to church as Andrea then you can stop being her.” Mom excuses Leah from being with us and asks me to sit. “Andrew is this getting to be too much for you?”

I am surprised by the question, “No, why would you ask something like that? Andrea’s Threads is doing great and I enjoy it as much as ever.”

“Well, you seem to be doing great, and then all of a sudden you don’t want to do something. If it is okay to be Andrea out in public, what’s the problem with going to church with your Grandmother Stephens?”

“Mom, it’s a holy place, isn’t it? Not everyone there might agree with me dressing as a girl.”

Mom says, “They don’t need to agree with you, but for some other people you’re being there helps them. If you’re such a public image, maybe you should think about those others. Haven’t you been communicating to some Craig who sees himself as Anne?”

“Mom, I don’t want to be responsible for him or anyone? I just like designing clothes and I’m glad he likes them. We’re friends kind of but I’m not responsible for him.”

Mom says, “I’m not asking you to be responsible for him. But if you become comfortable being yourself, it could be good for him and others. Haven’t you had some girls being confidential to you like one girl to another? You aren’t responsible for them but it seems you bring caring as Andrea and some understanding as a boy.”

I thought I was going to get a lecture but Mom comes across with a better understanding that is helpful.

After Mom leaves my room Leah calls me into her room asking, “You do remember we’re celebrating Mom’s birthday today. Mom’s mom will be there at the restaurant and back here at the house as well. She and Cousin Sharon will be here to decorate the house and have the cake ready when we come back from dinner.”

“Oops,” I had forgotten the celebration’s today, “I have two shawls and a gift card put away for her. If you want to go in with me for the gift you can. I have a skirt to give her but I can give that anytime.”

Leah says, “I have something but Heidi was wondering if we could give Mom something in her name. Heidi’s on a limited budget. If you allow the skirt to be in her name, you need to know she’s not going to give you much for it.”

Heidi feels different about our step-dad and won’t accept any help from him. Two grants she received were reduced because she did not seek other support available to her. I say. “Leah, she relates better to you than me. Could you suggest she could sell some of my clothes on her campus or in her area? It has the potential of being a nice income.”

Leah tells me, “You know we both have mixed feelings about being tagged as your big sisters or getting caught up in name recognition.” That is something Leah and I will talk about on our way back to our apartments.

Dad rarely goes to church but he does today. He intercedes when Mr. Bradly Henderson tries to give me a hard time. Dan said, “Brad, you can have your beliefs, but I won’t accept you giving her a bad time.”

Mr. Henderson says, “Do you mind if I ask Andrew or her about this passage in the Bible?” Dad simply says, “Yes, she has a stronger faith than I do. If you want to quiz someone, I guess it should be better if it’s me.”

Mr. Henderson kind of justifies what he wants to ask as being for my own good. After he went into church; grandmas Stephens and Johnson suggest another area of the church to sit. Leah and I wanted to go up and sit with others, but respectfully we sit with Mom. Today’s music is upbeat and enjoyable. It is a bigger church than the one Mom and Leah went to when we first lived here. That has its strengths and drawbacks.

Gwen and Mallory ask me to attend a gathering and then bemoan I’m going to school elsewhere and need to get back.

Mom is surprised to see her Mom, brother Howard and my cousin Sharon at the restaurant. Her birthday is on Thursday, it seems like Mom’s pleasantly surprised. The dinner goes well and a few waiters sing happy birthday. It is when we drive home and all the others follow, and Mom realizes there is more.

I see myself as the one responding differently than usual. Having cake and singing I usually take part in. It is staying around for Mom to open gifts, taking an interest, and talking more are all different for me. Mom and Aunt Brenda are the ones who enjoy the difference in me.

Aunt Brenda and Cousin Sharon want to talk to me about being a girl and ordering some clothes. I begin telling them, “We’ll need to do it quickly as Leah and I need to get back to State Center.”

My mother interrupts, “Relax you have appointments with Dr. Higgins, and Dr. Saga Dotter your Psychiatrist tomorrow. We’re leaving here early enough to see Dr. Saga at 10:30.”

I bring out my laptop because of its larger screen. Cousin Sharon and her mother are happy with their orders, but Aunt Brenda closes the door to where we are after Sharon leaves the room. “Andrea, do you remember some of what Sharon liked that will still be good Christmas and afterward?”

I show her several outfits and designer jeans that Sharon liked including a few from JC’s collection that I think is good for her. Then I open another file and show her a personal design I drew up for Sharon, but as of yet, I had not yet shown it. “Oh my, that fits Sharon to a T. Did you really do that or have one of your design people do that?” I’m sure she meant it as a compliment about how well it was done. But the fact she didn’t think I did it hurt.

“Aunt Brenda it is my design; I thought it would be great for Sharon’s Winter Carnival in February. But it is elaborate enough that I’d have to have someone else create it. I’ll tell you the truth, I’m a little hurt, you didn’t think it is my design.”

“I can have one of my seamstresses do it for costs to me, but a version of it would be out seven to ten days after her school’s winter celebration.” I am irked a little as Aunt Brenda seeks a price break from that. Uncle Howard and Aunt Brenda are financially well off, cost shouldn’t be a concern. It costs them $125; as a formal gown, it will be $350 in-store. Sharon’s will be priceless to my way of thinking, and I will have fabrics used that the other dresses will not. “The best I’ll do Aunt Brenda will be to take a little off. If it’s not worth what it is offered to you at. Then I’ll forget it, for now, maybe I will design something for her later.”

Aunt Brenda says, “I’ll have to talk to her father about it.” I quietly walk out and go hide in my room. I am relatively sure she will order it but she’s upsetting me.

I get a welcomed call from Heidi. She thanks me for the skirt given to Mom. And she’s wanting to host a website to sell my clothing line at her campus. She is a strong person, but she has trouble socializing and she’s hoping this will help. It is the warmest connection we’ve had since early in the year. My shenanigans when things with my gown began, upset her. When it turned out to be a blessing. She was miffed that I hadn’t learned my lesson. Well, I had, but sometimes such lessons had cost her more dearly. I couldn’t blame her, in many ways she was right.

Come Monday morning I have things packed so we can leave home just after 7:30. On the way, Mom says if Dr. Saga says it would be fine, Dr. Higgins will visit with you about a stronger dosage of the blocker to bring your testosterone levels down into the range for most teenage girls.

I ask, “Mom are you actually pushing for me to be Andrea?”

She says, “No, but having a smaller, slimmer frame is something that Andrew is already used to. Neither persona, I believe is ready for manhood if it transformed you to be larger and more like your father.”

I giggle at the thought and agree. Mom and I talk about my thoughts and feelings regarding Aunt Brenda last night. Mom finally says, “You can stay upset with her. But she has good traits as well.”

“I understand your hurt and I’m glad you were able to share what you did. That my youngest child wrestles with such things as well as growing pains impresses me.”

I toss and turn as I try to relax as we’re traveling. I find myself trying to explore a feminine body that is more in my head…

Story to be continued…

It's good I have my appointment with Dr. Saga, as a Psychiatrist, she could have pushed my counseling over to a subordinate and just reviewed my files. I agree during my visit that I need to work on being comfortable with Andrew/Andrea without having to prove or discount either one. “You won’t likely need a stronger blocker if you remain on the diet and hormones as you’re taking them. You do need to know your sperm production is likely to suffer.”

That’s the news I wanted to talk with Dr. Michele Higgins about. It is decided I’ll harvest some of my sperm as a precaution. I’m dressed as Andrew which confused a nurse as my nipples and the fleshy area behind them are more like a girl. Dr. Higgins did say some boys develop breasts during their teen years, and they usually go away.

I kind of joke that looking more like Andrea might result in more customers for my clothing. Dr. Higgins says, “You might be surprised by how many boys have girls' clothing in their wardrobe.”

Dr. Higgins, my Mom, and I visit. The likelihood of Andrew/Andrea being me long term is discussed. I am becoming more comfortable talking about this during my appointments.

I attend classes at school and have my class at the University with Jean Claude Cozier the Design and Art instructor.

I’ve read ahead of the class at North State and already like the course material. Dr. Jean Crozier, Ph.D. makes a point of asking me questions but nitpicks with my answers. Two students are nice enough to compliment me after class and encourage me not to let him bother me. Bonnie asks if I’m the clothing designer. She then asks if I’m likely to ever be in class as Andrea. “Professor Crozier is likely to give you even more grief as Andrea. But he watches how he does it not to cross lines and create problems for himself. I don’t think he likes women very much. I know for a fact he does not see what you do as art.”

I catch a shuttle back to my apartment at State Center. Mom decided to stay the night as J.C. Harper wants to talk to me about future contracts. I’ve changed out of Andrew’s clothes and put on a casual skirt and top. My hair is quickly brushed out to be feminine. I help Mom in creating a lavish chef salad for dinner.

Mom has some wine for JC and her, maybe Leah if she comes for supper. I get unsweetened ice tea. JC arrives after six and we eat before the meeting. I have my folder of more drawings and design information. JC has a larger folder of clothes that are going into production and others to market.

She says, “The Corporation has come to realize your line is here to stay and they are going to seek to extend your contract. We need to be concerned and talking about that."

“Wow, Mom doesn’t that sound exciting?” I turn back to JC, “Where do I sign and how long will the agreement be?” Jacqui’s expression becomes more serious and I take notice. “What?”

Jacqui says, “It would not be in your interest to quickly rush to sign what they offer.” She asks me, “What is it that you want as a designer of your clothing line?”

I say, “If I sign the contract, maybe they will heed more of what I say. I don’t want to make a lot of money if it makes my clothing line too expensive for the teens and the women I sell to.”

JC affirms, “Before not after you sign a contract is when you seek an agreement as to what is understood and agreed upon. They can afford to pay you more and agree to what you’re wanting. Maybe like me, you’d like to sell some clothing with your label through others. They have a side business allowing others to use your designs in making their garments. I for one think that’s where it would be better to have a label, Designs by Andrea’s Threads or simply Designs by Andrea” I can see Mom’s head moving in affirmation of what Jacqui is saying.

Mom speaks up, “This is where Marion Tuft of the Hopewell firm should be of help to us. We’ve sought out her advice before and have liked it. Maybe it’s time for her to become your lawyer and financial advisor.”

Both Jacqui and Mom have learned to inform me and allow me to have the space to make my decisions. I like what they’re saying, but we continue to meet before I'll say yes, no, or suggest something else. I’ve heard some complaints of items from my line because some have been made with satin of a lower grade.

Jacqui has brought clothing items for winter and spring that she’s asking Leah and me to model after we eat. Leah and I both have plaid skirts or in my case a dress. She each wants us to wear one the next cold fall day. It is to be both a market test and a local promotion. It is upsetting to me that my satin blouse is again with the satin fabric that displeases me.

“Jacqui what I’m going to do is to wear the outfit as suggested for half the day, until 1 p.m.; hopefully it’s a day I have a university class so that I wear it in public another six hours,” I ask the price of the blouse I’m being given to wear. “That is only a dollar less than the satin blouse I had recommended. If there isn’t a very favorable response to the blouse I recommend, I’ll be surprised.”

Leah says, “Many of the stores don’t carry both blouses. I like the two offerings so the blouse you suggest is one of them. I like the front buttons but the opening of this skirt does not look as attractive to me.”

JC lightly laughs, “The home marketing group gets frustrated with you. Not only because you make it known when you disagree strongly, but your opinions are hard to refute. Many designers deal with simply say ‘because’ they know the company will stay with their decisions.”

I say, “But I do go along with much of what they do. It would be better if they considered possible changes before they went into production. Leah and I should be able to voice our opinion; after all, we’re part of the target group they’re selling to. What is their problem with that?”

This time even Mom knew the answer to my question. Mom says, “Marketing has to record your feedback and file it with the Corporation. I think so far it’s four for five in your favor in predicting the better outfit or design when it comes to sales.” She says, “Take it from me, it can be hard on the ego to have a younger person with a better record.”

Leah says, “Out of fifty-plus designs and spin-offs that are less than 10% of what’s gone to retail.”

JC says, “The four times we’re speaking of resulted in over $250,000 in extra production costs. And marketing absorbed most of their costs within their budget rather than share it. Fortunately, our sales of women’s fashions are showing an increase in profitability and the year has the biggest shopping season yet ahead of us.”

It is Thursday of that week when Marian Tuft calls and asking if she can meet with me Friday at noon. I laugh saying, “But I’m at school at that time and should be having lunch.” Mrs. Tuft must know my schedule as the call came between classes. I am going to a rare study hall on my schedule.

Marian says, “Your school, State Center High School, has a lot of gifted students whose lives require special attention. They are used to cooperating with these special needs, as long as you don’t misuse them. I have no problem waiting until school is out at 3:00 pm. but I think you’ll want to respond to your communication from X-Press International.”

I ask, “Are you saying it is time-sensitive enough that I’d rather see it at 1 pm rather than wait until 3:15?”

Marian says, “Your parents agree with me that it might be. But then again, I will caution you on Friday not to rush to a decision.”

I say, “If you can arrange with my school for us to eat in one of the conference rooms. I will see if one of my parents or JC Harper can attend.”

She says, "That is a good idea, but if Ms. Harper comes you may want to view the information to make sure you’re wanting her to see the information." We agree to meet and she is to text me with an affirmation that the school has approved the space and time needed for the meeting.

I am called out of the study hall by the music teacher, Ms. Michelle Fischer but I am not sure why. “Andrea is it? I would like to hear your voice and ability to sing. I would like to recruit you to be in our choir if it's good like I think.”

I begin to giggle, “What if the days we rehearse or have a program I’m here as Andrew?”

She’s bewildered as she looks at me, “Your friends Tina and Shannon said you were here today and I should seek to recruit you. They didn’t say anything about being Andrew. I can only work with one of you. Would you be comfortable trying out and singing as Andrea?”

Recognition of who I am comes to Ms. Fischer, “Now, I know who you are. The question is still there for you Andrea.”

“Can you test me to see if you’d still like considering having me join the choir?” It would be awkward for me personally to be singing as Andrea if I’m here as Andrew.”

She draws me over to a piano, handing me a piece of music. First, she takes me up and down the scale singing ‘Do Re Mi…’ She has to help me find my note to start. I am happy that within a short time she begins to smile.

She says, “It has been a while since you’ve been singing, hasn’t it? You have a good voice and you seemingly enjoy singing. I think it would be mutually advantageous for the choir and you as Andrea, to have you begin singing again. It probably would be a while before you sing in a quartet or a duet, but eventually, I think even those are possible. I know I will have you practicing as such now and then. When I am practicing with those up for performing, I have my grad-assistant working with others.”

She says, “So what do you say, do I have another young woman in the choir?”

I say, “I don’t need to tell you right now, do I? If so, I’d have to say no.”

Marian says, “I’d like an answer by the time school lets out tomorrow. I don’t mind Andrew singing as you in rehearsal. I’ve had other boys whose voices hadn’t changed.” I agree to seriously try. She asks as I begin going back to class. “If you’d have ideas for spring ensembles for a special concert come spring or next year, I’d be interested in seeing your ideas.”

She hadn’t done me any favors by putting that idea in my head. During lunch I begin sketching ideas; they can take a long time to come together. Often fresh ideas can come quickly and it’s good to translate ideas to sketches for me just as quickly. My purse generally has three colors or more in it to help my designing an idea.

By the end of lunch, I reached for my lip-gloss to color in one long skirt. But today’s a problem as I need to get to the University. If my attention strays in class, I’ll be in trouble with Jean Claude.

Taking a University shuttle, I text Leah, Heidi, and Mom about the request to join the choir. Like I hoped Heidi responds back, “I like you thinking out of the box. You tend to be too conservative.”

Laughing I text back, “You’re calling a boy singing as a girl is conservative?”

Heidi calls me, “I say apart from a few designs and when you went to the prom with Tera, you and Andrew are both conservative. Stretching your voice will give you, new friends and hopefully get you in trouble.”

Leah texts, “I’ll see you when you get to the University.”

Mom texts, “You have enough on your schedule.”

“Truth is Mom, my Advisor Ms. Stein says I need to find an extracurricular activity to be part of my schedule. She said she told us that back at Hillside.”

I agree to call my mother on my way back from the University. Leah and I have enough time when I get there to get a yogurt snack and water at the Union.

Cozier is not happy to see me coming to class as Andrea. “I at least hoped Andrea if you showed up, we’d get a chance to see fashion as art.” Today’s session is on texture, light, and changes as being ways artists enhance their work. Including ancient cave drawings using dyes and blood with some images. He accepts large works using fabrics in artwork but conveys my designs rank up with people walking with advertising slab boards. I wasn’t sure what he was talking about until I checked it in my notebook.

He and I both knew he lost a few points with other students. Some have begun finding his criticism of me detracting from the class. Truth is when he doesn’t sidetrack, he offers a lot more to learn. He irritates me like fingernails on a chalkboard, but as JC said, he’s worth it.

Today at least Mac and Sam speak up, commenting in a positive manner to my insights. Mac tells me, “The football coaches have displayed some of our artwork around our facilities; they and the University have gotten positive feedback. Cozier got some flack when a visiting artist and art proponents saw them and read his critiquing of them.”

The artist said, “The only way I can justify his harsh critiquing would be that he doesn’t want more athletes in his classes.” She said, “Sam’s artworks are worthy of a professional artist. Mac’s art typifies an advanced art student. If he progresses he too could make a living in the art field.”

Cozier speaking alone to me asks, “Are you a gay person whose afraid of coming out? I can appreciate if you’re not wanting to be pimp material.”

Shocked at his statement, maybe I should have simply said ‘No’ and walked away. I stepped back and look at him and wondering if he’s trying to ‘out’ me, really thinking I’m gay.

He said, “If you want, I know some people in the gay community who might fancy a sweet boy like you.”

I simply said, “No, as Andrew I see myself as straight. And like Andrea, I am wrestling with who I am.”

Cozier says, “Well, we need to get on with the second half of our class time. But your statement and interest in fashions tell me you’re gay but not yet willing to come out.” He says while we’re still away from others, “May I ask if you’ve made out yet with another guy?” With that he walks away, not waiting for any reply.

I am barely following him the rest of the class, wondering if I was unaware of giving off messages to others that I’m not intending. Heaven knows I am repulsed by any notions that Cozier has interests in me. I know as Andrea, I find myself more attracted to others. My feelings now feel a bit dirty.

I am glad Leah is taking me back to the apartments. She asks, what’s wrong, but I deny that there is anything. This is something I need to work through without Leah or my Mom knowing.

Friday, it's Andrew going to school, though that is not what I had previously planned. I double-check and conference room C is reserved for me and my guests. They had my request down for Andrea which is no big deal. It is a reminder to me that I’m presently uncomfortable being Andrea.

It is good to have Debbie Higgins and Alaina as friends during the school day. They’re even asking to do something together tonight and tomorrow. Saturday as Andrea I’m to meet with Janice Richards up in Boston and stay till Sunday for several promotion visits.

Mom has made it to State Center along with Marian Tuft from the Hopewell Law firm. We’re eating as JC is late and Mom says she’d be helpful for the meeting. However Marian takes the opportunity to share, “I’ve received a phone call concerning an offer for you. If we move to officially negotiate, things would begin where you’re presently at. They’re willing to approve $175,000 as your base salary for the coming three years and a 3% commission on your sales and 10% from other companies wanting to carry your line or the Designs by Andrea logo. They do restrict you from doing independent fashion designing or related projects.

I say the salary should be for only two years with possible renegotiating it if things continue to take off. I understand the 3% commission is reasonable, but I want a 15% commission and a say on who and what is carrying my logos. I guess if they’ll agree to make it 4% and 15% respectively. Not hassling over it should be worth more.”

Marian says, “I told them it would need to be 5% and 15%. I think they and you will both fare pretty well. You have a very good head for designing as well as for business.”

JC is now present, “I think what they are offering you is very good. And I think what you’re asking should be acceptable to them. Ms. Tuft, I think you reading closely any fine print and keeping that to a minimum is what’s crucial to keeping the deal you’re wanting.

“Your two trademarks need to remain yours and not the corporations. You told me you were also wanting your clothing line to remain affordable.”

Marian says, “Yes they heard that, the only thing they ask is for Andrea to design more for the upper tier of her line, especially with specialty gowns and such clothing.”

JC says, “If they decide to announce your new contract; do not be surprised that the base will go up to $200,000 or slightly higher. In today’s market 175 doesn’t sound as much, not worthy of gloating. It probably would have been higher if you were working full-time. You however are more productive than many who are working full-time.”

We ran over my lunchtime and now Superintendent Dr. Haverford and Ms. Dobbs are requesting me to end this session and to meet with them. “Mom, you need to come with me, I don’t want to face them alone.”

I am happy to see Dr. Higgins and her daughter Debbie there. Somehow I’m sensing they already told my Mom the meeting wasn’t anything negative. She says, “I received a text, that simply says, “Not to worry.”

Dr. Paula Haverford speaks first, “We invited your Doctor here to make sure we’re not asking too much of you. This is not a requirement but something we have done with other students whose lives can be overly busy.”

“I hope your prior lunch conference wasn’t stressful. But we are concerned the demands on you have you thinking business even when you’re being a student. You’re getting Bs where some teachers see you as potentially an A student. Are we reading things well?”

Debbie Higgins says, “This school is ahead of others; a B average is quite good.” Her Mom encourages Deb to relax and gives her a one-arm hug.

I’m Andrew but it's Andrea’s voice speaking, “I don’t relax well. I’m doing well but yes, I could do better. I’m not used to doing work, save in art, and design. I worry about not being able to keep up my grades without disappointing people. Are you going to help teach me how to relax too?”

“One of the things we think might help,” Dr. Haverford says. “If you become more of a social person for your age. We think that could be a natural avenue for you to unwind. You wouldn’t need to date seriously, but we think as Andrew and Andrea you need to blossom and enjoy yourself more. The Principal at Hillside said you began doing that last year as the year went on. Do you think you could do that again here?”

I sigh in relief that it isn’t something more serious. I confess some discomfort for Andrew. “As Andrea, my concern is that I have feelings that could cause some attachments that I think I’m too young for.”

Ms. Stein and Dr. Higgins begin to speak at the same time. Ms. Stein waves the doctor to speak first. “I think that falls in line with what they’re saying and what I’m seeing. You are moving ahead as a designer and in promoting your clothing. You’re even growing academically, but emotionally, you are holding yourself back.”

“What if as Andrew or Andrea you’d date, the feelings and emotions you’ll have are appropriate for your age. It may be a bit more complicated being Andrew/Andrea, but now, not later, would be a healthier time to deal with being you.”

I say, “I think I’d like that but it scares me. People like me because of what I do and my clothing’s popular. What if they don’t like me?”

Mom says, “Your clothing line is an extension of you, not the other way around. Most will like you for being you. Those who don’t need to know you better. Andrew, I love you, but I think you need to let your hair down and smile more.”

Debbie rushes over to me as the meeting’s ending. “My boyfriend Randy’s taking me to the dance tonight and his friend Josh so far is going to be a tag along. Please come with us to the dance. Josh is a great guy, but like you, he finds socializing hard.”

I look to my Mom, not knowing if she’s going home or staying at the apartments. She says, “Dan is coming up tonight and we’re going to North State’s football game tomorrow. Don’t worry about me, I’ll just be worrying about my daughters.”

“I do think you need to get back to a class or two, plus get notes about what you missed today. I don’t want it being only Andrea who grows socially.”

Andrew’s thinking…

Story to be continued…

I text Debbie Higgins after the next class, “Are you sure you want me going to the dance with you? I don’t want Josh upset with dating a trans-girl.”

“He’s a senior from University High; I’m sure who you are will be no surprise to him. So are you willing to come with me?”

I’m dressed as Andrew and had hoped to be me throughout the weekend. It is the last class of the day when I ask to use the restroom. I work up my nerve and send a text as Andrew, “Megan (Stuart), this is Andrew Stephens from science class. I missed class this afternoon because of a meeting. I wanted to ask if you would go out with me either tomorrow or Sunday. I am able to use a car and would like to take you out?”

It was near the end of math class and we are not doing anything special. Despite that Mr. Morrow, our teacher is upset that my phone did not get switched to vibrate and rang during class. He asks out loud, “Andrew do you have a hot date for tonight?”

I look at my phone and not thinking, I respond, “No, hopefully, tomorrow.” I now need to meet Mr. Morrow after class. He accuses me of being a rude ‘smart-aleck’. He is nice enough asking me to apologize and to cooperate in not using my smartphone during the school day. He wanted to make sure I was not being rude in thinking I could get away with things. The truth is the school is very lax, especially with the gifted students.

Once out of class, I need to quickly get to east doors or call Megan. Megan too is a gifted student, but in her case, she is crazy smart academically. She is only in my chemistry class because Chemistry is the only class she needs to work a little to maintain an A. Physics and Micro-Biology come much easier. She had commiserated with me over the fact that relating to other students our age is her biggest problem.

Truthfully, I hadn’t thought she’d be back in touch with me, but I’m an optimist so I tried. Megan Stuart may be intellectually the most intelligent student at our entire school.

She sees me coming, “Andrew, what’s your problem couldn’t Andrea get a date?” I laugh.

“She’s going to a dance tonight, but my mom wants me going out as well.”

Megan says, “Where are you wanting to take me?”

“We could go out to eat and to the Cove Coffee House afterward. I hear they have good musicians on Saturday nights.”

Megan says, “I have been there and you’re right it’s a great night to be there. You are planning on taking me as Andrew?”

We are talking, until her brother texts, he’s waiting for her. I agree to see her the next day. I am to plan time to meet her family.

I hurry home, back to the apartments, and knock on the door to Leah’s apartment and fortunately, she’s there. I ask, “Sis are you using the car tomorrow evening?”

She asks, “Is Andrea needing to pick-up her date or are you going out with a bunch of girls?”

“Neither smarty; it’s me, I have a date with a very intelligent girl, I’ll have you know.”

Leah decides to give me some grief for fun. “How smart can she be if she’s going out with you?”

“Megan Stuart is probably the most intelligent person in our school. I suspect there might be one or two people at the University who have an IQ as high as hers.” I say, “Let’s change the subject. I need to have the car tomorrow afternoon and evening.”

Leah says, “I was planning on using it. I will need to call around and see if someone else has use of a car. Does Mom know about your date? She was talking about you needing to get out. Maybe one of us can use her car as Dan’s coming for the football game.”

“If you want to come to my apartment, we can tell her together. Dan’s pickup isn’t here yet.”

I let us into my apartment and we can hear Mom talking to someone. I begin to change out of my clothes and put on a pair of shorts to run around in. I use the attaching doorway to my apartment for getting to Andrea’s stuff and begin some water for a bubble bath.

Next, I seek to chat with Debbie Higgins to confirm Randy and her giving me a ride to the dance. I look up and Mom and Leah are now with me. Mom says, “I did not mean you had to hurry and schedule everything. You haven’t even asked if it’s okay.”

“Sorry Mom, but I’m usually on my own and don’t need too. But in this case, it might be helpful if Leah or I can use your car tomorrow.”

There’s a knock on one of the doors, its Samantha Harden another of the university students who live in our apartment buildings. She lives in the one next to this one. I answer and Samantha asks if I know where Leah is. I call to Leah, then I look back and ask Samantha if they’re going out with others tonight. The expression on her face and her response, “Something like that,” Says there’s more to it. I already knew Sam had come over to our building quite often, but I hadn’t known for whom.

I look at Leah and remember a nice outfit she was getting out. Turning back to me, Leah says, “You might as well hear it from us. Sam and I date sometimes.” I look to Mom and know it is not new news with her.

Leah says, “Samantha and I did a few things together last year before…” I stop her, “Leah, you don’t owe me an explanation.”

Samantha, “I think she was going to say we enjoy being with each other but we’re not exclusive. She’s not even sure she wants to be in a lesbian relationship.” She gives Leah a hug and kisses. I can tell there’s a chemistry between the two.

They make their way to the door and Mom says, “Leah, when we make a decision about my car, one of us will let you know via text.”

I have fun changing over to Andrea and visiting with Mom. Mom asks, “So what do I hear about a possible date for tomorrow? Leah says, ‘Her name is Megan and she’s very intelligent.’ What else can you tell me?”

“I had been wanting to ask her out, but I was afraid. But we had talked in Chemistry class before and I knew she has trouble relating to people socially as I do. I plan to take her to dinner and then to a neat coffee house at the university. Various gifted musicians play there on Saturdays. I’ve heard it’s a good place. We can talk with each other along with listening and getting involved in the interchange there.”

Mom asks, “Is she older or younger than you?”

“I think she might only be fifteen.” She might be fourteen, but I can tell mom that once I find out for sure. “I need to meet with her folks tomorrow before we can go out. Megan says her parents are kind of serious, but she expects things will be okay.” “She said, she is happy it’s with me as Andrew, because she likes fashion and likes wearing some clothes from our line.”

Mom says, “You know you need to fit in some time both for your studies and your designing. JC sent me a note. Saying she has some work news that she wasn’t able to share. It was something about Tamara from Chicago coming out here and wanting to see you.”

“Mom too much for now. I need to concentrate on getting ready for tonight. I’d like to know for sure I have a car for tomorrow. I can’t tell you when or how but I’ll get some studying done and the designs are already in my head. I just need to get them down on paper or drawn out on the program JC’s set up for me.”

When I am up out of the bubble bath and toweling myself off. I enjoy the feeling of water running off my body and the towel as it pats my chest and my nipples. A towel now around my chest, now has a little more to rest upon and to snuggle within the towel. Even as Andrew I am happy because Andrea is me and like Andrew, I am very sensitive as well.

My mother calls in, “Are you alright? You know you are a little too big for me to be checking on you.”

“Mama,” it is Andrea’s voice, “I forgot to grab a fresh pair of panties and I’d like my light blue bra. It is in my second drawer.” I have my harvest gold skirt with a fresh white ruffled blouse.

I am fully dressed and I am eating a chicken salad sandwich, when my step-father Dan arrives. “It is good to see you, Daddy.”

I am growing in my love for my new father. He is good to my mother and has been supportive of me since I’ve moved back here with Mom.

I am paying him for the apartments. While he says, it isn’t needed, for me, it is the investing of the money I am making. Andrew/Andrea Stephens Investments has become the incorporating of my own funds. I can’t believe, last year’s attention deficit has blossomed into Andrea’s Threads and now Designs By Andrea.

I tell Dan I have a date as Andrew, but he looks at me strangely, until I reply. “But that date is tomorrow. Debbie Higgins wants me to go out with her and her boyfriend tonight.

Dad says, “I take it that your date tonight is as Andrea?” I look to Dad, “Dah.” He says, “Well with you the obvious isn’t always true.”

Debbie is soon coming to the door, I ring her in and my Dad answers. He’s soon asking, “Is Andrea going out with a nice guy?”

“Wow, Mr. Stephens that is good of you to ask. Yes, she’s going out with Josh Davis. Josh is a nice guy and he knows who Andrea is. …He’s not sure however if he believes it.”

Dan says, “I’m Dan Johnson, Andrea’s step-dad. What do you mean by, ‘he’s not sure he believes it’?

“Mr. J look at Andrea and tell me if there is much sign of a boy there?”

I say, “Debbie, you know if I go out as Andrea, I try to look my best as a girl.”

“We’re not questioning who you are,” Debbie says. “I was just explaining to your Dad why Josh has trouble believing that we told him Andrea is really a boy.” That is often the case more and more.

I give my mom a kiss and my dad a hug as I leave with Debbie. Josh is standing out near the car with Randy.

“We’re going over to the concert at the University, it’s a change of plans. I hope you don’t mind.” Two of the groups became popular via the internet. The third group has been popular and co-opted the other groups to package a good concert to make it popular.

Once at the concert I can tell Josh is closely watching me. We have seats but are often standing, moving to the music. Josh puts his hand around my waist. I casually smile as he looks over to me. I am clapping and swaying with the music. Debbie whispers, “He’s going to believe you’re a girl even more.”

I ask, “What are you suggesting for me to do? I’m not flipping my skirt or dropping my panties to prove a point!”

“Just don’t be surprised when he kisses you.”

We applaud loudly as the first groups finish. it’s set and Josh picks me up off my feet giving me a hug. I smile and thank him with a kiss as he sets me back down. He says, “I was going to apologize for that but I guess I don’t have too.”

Josh enjoys our talking, he knows a lot about music and the groups we’re hearing. He asks, “Have you ever played in a band or anything?” I tell him I got a keyboard that I’ve just started lessons on. It’s a Rolland and he’s even pretty sure what model I have. “That’s a pretty good keyboard. If you ever want I could bring over my guitar and we can play a little together.”

“I don’t think I’m good enough to do that.”

Josh says, “Randy and Deb will tell you that’s the way to learn if you really want to enjoy your keyboard. I’m not usually too social, but when it comes to music I relax and it’s easy to talk.”

“You’ve been doing okay tonight. I don’t often know what to talk about with boys.” I’m saved from explaining myself further as the second group begins singing.

Seemingly they’ve chosen the order of the bands by their popularity. More people are getting into this group. Our seats are up and we’re dancing a bit in the small space we have. One song the guys weren’t into as much as Deb and I. We’re bumping hips, singing like we’re in the group. We’re near the end of a row and are caught by surprise when a band member brings his mic and makes his way passed Randy to sing and dance with us. Deke asks at the end of the song if I’m Andrea and he escorts me up on stage. “A bird named JC said you might be here. Folks this young chick doesn’t know it, but she’s helped design two of our outfits. We band guys like to play on the wild side and push some boundaries.” There is more than a little noise of approval from the crowd. I am pretty sure Deke’s and Dan’s slacks are my design put into leather. Deke has a satin blouse under a rough looking vest.

He asks if I know their song, “Travelin’ in Rain”. I’m invited to jump in on a live mic as I know the words and tune. There is no option of backing away as they begin playing. It is easy enough to follow but I’m sure I’m not adding much. Deke calls for a round of applause for me as I return to my seat.

Randy says, “That explains why we got great seats. Tell your friend JC she can set up all our dates together.” Deb hugs me, “Way to go, girl, you sounded pretty good.”

I said, “It wasn’t me you heard.”

Deb, “Did you hear anyone in the band with a girl’s voice.” My phone indicates a text. It is Leah and friends; they too are here and heard me. Leah, “Nice voice Andrea, but don’t quit your day job, ha.”

Leah asks, “Was Deke’s outfit your design?” I reply, “I think so; the tight jeans and blouse. I guess I’m doing leather now.”

I enjoy the rest of the concert, as Josh puts a squeeze on me now and then. The Renegade is the last band. They too are trying to make a name for themselves and put on quite a performance. An usher waves us over as we’re exiting after the concert; he’s waving tickets for backstage. He says, “Nan from the Renegade wants to meet you.” Since none of us had ever been backstage we’re excited.

Nan and Caryn want to talk about performing outfits. I am more than happy but only take measurements, contact info and glossy promo pictures for now.

I enjoy my night with Josh, Debbie, and Randy.

I do have a publicity promo to do in the morning. A store is using the University’s homecoming as an opportunity to attract a broader group of shoppers. Thankfully JC will be there ‘tween 9-11 a.m. and I’ll be there from 10 to noon.

I get to Laurel’s Boutique a little after 9:30 and there’s a bit of a group crowding JC. She’s happy to see me. I suggest we take two moveable racks out into the mall area. It both attracts shoppers and give breathing room inside the store. The store manager was hoping to have a relaxing time with JC and then me. She is now overwhelmed with the rush of customers.

I become nervous when Megan comes up saying she saw me and needed to introduce me to her mother, Mrs. Stuart. I am not sure how to read her mother, when she asks, “I heard Andrew can dress up. Are you sure he will be ready to take my daughter out to dinner?”

I ask Meg, “Is there anything I can show you as we talk? Maybe, you can show me what you already have.”

“Mrs. Stuart, yes I’ll be there as Andrew. With the exception of my long hair, I won’t be showing any signs of me now.”

She says, “Don’t worry about that now, though I’ll be surprised if you’ll alter your eyebrows by then… I’m sure Megan here won’t mind having a designer giving her personal interest.” Megan knows the store and takes me, showing both what she has and what she likes.

She pulls an outfit off the clearance rack. I show her a similar style for the coming colder weather. “Mrs. Stuart, I’m not trying to bribe for your approval. But I’d be happy to give Megan and yourself my own discount for today…

She laughs, “You think, I’d look good in your designs, please.”

“Yes, I can think of two outfits and a dress and that’s without thinking. There are even more in JCountry, that’s JC’s line.” I first encourage Megan to try on her two outfits. Then a show Mrs. Stuart, for now, Karen to me, first the dress and a sweater/skirt outfit. Karen is soon taking both to a changing room.

I am anxious as Andrea being around Megan and her Mom. I can only wait and hope all is well. I don’t want our date to be called off.

Megan is out from the changing room wearing the outfit I picked out for her. She already discarded the other one. Liking her outfit, she looks around for her mother and is surprised to hear her mom is in a changing room trying on a dress and a skirt outfit. She says, “You know she really does not like skirts.”

But her mother is soon out showing off her dress and Megan is stunned. “Mom what are you doing. You look great, but you don’t like dresses.”

Megan’s older sister and brother are only sixteen and seventeen respectively. Karen Stuart is a young looking 37. Her legs and figure show a woman who takes care of herself. It is now paying rewards. “I’m sorry Ms. Stuart but I’d rather suggest an evening dinner dress. You look fabulous.”

She smiles and Laurel is over asking to take mother/daughter publicity pictures. My big question would be if customers would believe it is truly a mother-daughter picture.

Laurel invites them to try on another outfit and if its picture worthy one outfit is free for each of them. I am sure NY-Express would also be interested, though they’d be after a professional picture with better makeup and hair.

I turn them over to Laurel with my suggestions of outfits. I am back with visiting with other customers and now wanting to get home and to change over to Andrew.

I am away from the store by 12:30 and soon home concentrating on my transformation. It used to be easier to change over to Andrew, but between my skin developing a nice complexion, my hair being wavy and glistening, there are things like Mrs. Stuart pointed out. My eyebrows are shaped, though not drastically. The wrong undershirt/shirt combo chances my budding nipples showing. I can remove the nail polish but the care the nails have been given are open to close scrutiny.

Leah teases me as she comes to my apartment. “Andrea, why aren’t you changing in your apartment?” Mom and Dan are back from the homecoming football game as I’m to prepare to go to Megan’s.

Mr. Logan Stuart introduces himself and he indeed wants to visit me about taking out his daughter. He tries joking, “My daughter was hoping it would be you coming, Andrew. She’s afraid of Andrea upstaging the date.” I don’t take him seriously, but it comes close to discounting his daughter.

Mrs. Stuart is happy and can’t help but tell me she got three things for herself as well as two outfits for Megan. One for Megan and one outfit for her were free as a second set of pictures were taken. “She should actually be giving you more.”

We change our choice of restaurants to a Thai restaurant. It is a nice change as I the food is very good and I’m not yet known there. We eat in peace and have an enjoyable time visiting. It is confusing to me, when someone like Megan asks, “Doesn’t it ever bother you to be designing for women and being seen as having the soft fine features you do?”

“I relate easier to women and women’s fashions are much more creative to work with. Maybe if more men would relax and enjoy color and their creative side. Until then, it would be harder for Andrea seeing myself more masculine.”

We’re done early enough from eating and talking that we walk around the area of university village before going to the Cove Coffee House. It cost me, but I had a table reserved at the coffee house. They want a photo taken, fortunately, it will be posted only after the evening is over. We use the two seated chair at our table.

Once the house fills we allow a college duo to sit at our table as well. The others with us are both women out for a casual night. It is after ten when Debra begins visiting with Megan. They both enjoy the sciences and Megan visits about a project Debra’s group is working on. The concepts are hard for me to follow, but I’m impressed.

When Debra compliments her outfit, Megan confides who I am and that she likes my clothes. I am amazed that Debra’s sorority is recruiting Megan both for Alpha Sigma Kapa as well as to attend the university here.

Meg asks, “Would the sorority have trouble accepting Andrea Stephens into their sorority?”

Debra says, “It would be an interesting dilemma about whether they accept fashion design as an applied technology career group.” She asks me, “Are you interested in transitioning or applying as Andrea/Andrew?”

“I wasn’t considering to apply as I see my studies are more in art, fashions, and textiles. I am interested in continuing as Meg’s friend.”

Geri, the other u student, asks, “Would the two of you at least consider visiting over a weekend as future sorority members. I think we could enjoy Andrea being part of us for a weekend.”

Megan asks me, “Would you be willing to go to their gathering if I agree to help you study for chemistry class?”

I say, “That means I’d need to be Andrea for a whole weekend around women whose smarts are out of my league.”

Megan says, “I’m still asking, plus you’re very good in an area many could use help. I for one would enjoy being around a guy in touch with his feminine side.” Megan scoots over and plants a hot moist kiss on me. She wraps her arms around me with a hand in my hair and kisses again.”

“Megan, you’re younger than me, what will your parents say?”

She smiles, “I’m not telling them and you better not either. My intellect has me hungry for a number of things that others might not expect.”

Debra and Geri leave us to be alone, only asking Megan to let them know if she gets Andrea to agree to come for the weekend.

The closing hour of our time there is mellowing out with the large group in discussions over the philosophies of life. Megan asks, “Can we leave so we have time to ourselves before you take me home?”

“Won’t your folks be expecting you home very soon?”

She says, “My Dad might but Mom can handle him. She told me, “You’re the one who needs protection and that I’m not to be too much trouble for you.” I’m pretty sure she’s just trying to have fun joking with me.

A few blocks from her home she acts like she dropped something onto the floor. She asks, “Could you turn at this corner and drive a block and help me look for my earring?”

I do as she suggests, asking, “Why are we getting off this street it has more light?”

“I don’t want any neighbors driving by getting the wrong idea as we look for the earring.”

Come, the end of the street we begin to drive into a park. I wait to find a place to pull over. I get out of the car and come around to her side of the car. She’s out of the car waiting for me. She looks to me saying “Thanks.” She’s the one whose passions take over. She steps up to me. We’re close in height as I’m barely an inch taller though we’re about two years different in age. She wraps her arms around me and uses her hands on my buns to scoot us closer. I look in surprise and not sure what to do. If she were a guy and I was dressed as Andrea I’d get aggressive and loudly say stop.

She hugs and kisses me and then pushes away. Her right hand comes around and touches me. She says, “Is this soft bump what I think it might be? I already told you, I like you being in touch with your feminine side.” Her hand slides over my nipple and she presses and moves her hand. “You feel nice Andrew, I hope you are not embarrassed that I like you and found out. I like your soft spots.” We kiss one more time before we agree to get back to her place.

We are in the car and she uses the visor mirror to fix her lipstick and complexion. She turns to me, using a tissue to get off the traces of lip gloss.

Once we’re to her house, I walk her to the front door. She whispers, “You should kiss me on the cheek or my Mom will suspect more. I kiss her and as she goes through the door, she loudly says, “So I will expect you here at 3:00 o’clock tomorrow afternoon for studying Chemistry.”

I’m again caught by surprise but happily agree. I’m walking back to my car and her door opens, “Mom says, you’re invited for dinner, but you should be here by two”…

Story to be continued…

Andrew’s attention deficit and getting away with things caught up with him… Designing a gown instead of a suit, unknowingly Andrew had the responsibility to model it… Andrea is now more visible; Andrew is set on being himself or Andrea as he chooses…

=^_^=~

It is nice when I get home not have makeup to remove. Mom knocks on the door to my room, “Honey, can you use Andrea’s apartment please; so you and us can both have some extra privacy?” When I mention not having to worry about my makeup. She says, “You still will be wise in cleansing and moisturizing your face and putting up your hair.”

I am awake in my bed just before 8:00 in the morning, ready to roll over. The apartment phone rings, it is Megan Hach the first college student I met when I came here. I choose to answer as Andrea, “Hello, how can I help you?”

“It’s Megan.” But it doesn’t sound like Megan Stuart and it is too early Sunday morning for my brain to be working.

“Megan who?” …She laughs, “Its Megan Hach. How many Megans do you have called you on Sunday morning?

I confess, “I was out yesterday with a Megan, Megan Stuart. Not that it’s any of your business but I will see her again this afternoon to study.”

She says, “Well, I’m calling for Elle and me. Her sister Alaina is here and you said you’d be willing to meet with her when she came. She’s hoping you, as Andrea would go to breakfast with us this morning.”

“When would we be going? Andrew needs to be somewhere at 2:00 this afternoon. That would involve a full change over.”

“We could stop for you by nine or nine-fifteen, please be ready.” The call ends and I’m up getting ready, scooting into the shower, with a fresh pair of panties and a bra ready.

Mom calls into the shower, “Your phone rang; you have a new message.”

“Mom, can you see who it’s from?”

Mom says, “It is from Megan’s Mom.” …”Can you see what the message is?” …”She’s wondering if you’d mind coming as Andrea. She says she and Megan want to talk about fashion. She says that would be easier if you're Andrea.”

I am rinsing out my hair. “That is actually better another Megan and Elle want Andrea to go to breakfast with them and a sister Alaina who’s visiting.”

Mom says, “We’re planning to take you out. You should have known to leave time for us. I am your Mom!”

Mom’s calling Leah and then before I leave with Megan H., she is calling Heidi, my other sister.

It is nice to meet Alaina, and it has been a while since I’ve had a good visit with Megan and Elle. We go to a locally owned restaurant. Two guys had started a hole in the wall restaurant to make money to go to college. Since then the restaurant has expanded to the next vacant building. John and Mad Dog have only taken about ten courses in nine years. The waitresses and other cooks have taken more, others had graduated and moved on. John consistently tells them there is no future in working for them, except paying their way through college. Dara is the exception as she’s been here five years and likes the Mad Dog.

Dara is our waitress today and most times. “Hey, gals, who’s the young one?”

Alaina’s a little upset, “I’m older than Andrea!”

“Sorry, my name’s Dara. Anyone with these three, is either my friend or has my condolences, usually both. Welcome, and who might you be?”

Elle says, “This is my sister Alaina. She’s from North Carolina to look at our school.”

Alaina says, “What’s here that I can’t find at NC State?”

Dara says, “I’ll just take your orders and stay out of the recruitment business. But if you like fashions, we’re the only ones who have Andrew, Andrea, and JC Harper. We’re not a big as NC State, we are smaller and probably the same or better quality programs.”

I order, “Bacon, eggs over easy and a good pastry with juice.” Megan and Elle order their usual and Alaina says, “I hear I need to order the hash brown potatoes with peppers, cheese, and a little onion.” Dara asks, “Do you dare to have jalapenos?”

Alaina says, “If you have sweet banana peppers? I’ll have half them and half jalapenos and cheddar cheese. I’ll have a large orange juice and water with lemon.”

Dara compliments her order, “That is a good combination. And if it is okay I will throw on a light pastry. That’s free, on the house.”

Alaina turns to me, “Some say you’re also Andrew, is that so? The reason being, my guess that isn’t true. Most high schools would hesitate to have you. Elle says this high school has a good number of gifted students. That it kind of caters to them.”

“That reminds me, I need to text someone, I will come as Andrea as they wish.” I quickly type it in and it’s sent.

“Sorry Alaina, I don’t directly answer that, but if you’re here for a few days you’ll get your understanding. It will likely be correct.”

“Who is going to school with you tomorrow,” Alaina asks? “I’m hoping I can go to school with you?”

I tell her, “Tomorrow, I have a full day at the high school. Then I have an art class at North State University. I’m not sure if my Mom will still be here or not. Sometimes my sister Leah stays and gives me a ride back from the university. Other times I take the University bus back to the apartments.”

Alaina says, “If you’re making it, why are you taking public transit. You should have your own car and chauffeur if needed.” I laugh as does Megan, but Elle’s waiting with Alaina for my reply.

“I’ve just been doing this barely six months. I’m just now making better money. Part of that is being reinvested into buying the apartment buildings. Maybe a car when I can drive. Right now I still have to establish enough of a fashion line to cover the different seasons, special occasions and new offerings every season.”

“How many designers are helping to do your line?” The food is now here. We helped ourselves and we get back to just visiting. We finish eating and our talking there. We go next door to Jo-Ann’s Fabrics as Alaina wants to see how I design something. There’s a deep green with black etched throughout the cloth. A color person says that works for Alaina. I buy gold tooling to go over it. Then red, black fabric for tops and finally a winter print fabric. Enough make a top and more to make a full dress. Alaina picks out a thin gold belt to buy before we get back to the apartments. I use only Andrea’s apartment, though Elle tells her the apartment next door is mine and that they connect.

We place the fabric down near my design table that has sketches and work on and around it. I seek to push them out. I allow Alaina to stay with me. But I’m in my room stripping down to change. Alaina calls in asking, “What would be a short skirt or dress that you’re comfortable wearing?”

I have more than enough time that I pull out a nice dress like she’s talking about and change into it. I open the door and call Alaina in. She says, “You can’t be a boy and get away with wearing that.”

I already have out the outfit I’ll wear and I can use the same makeup for both. I sit in front of a mirror and table doing my makeup. What I had on is off and cleared away. I use a foundation, but no concealer is needed. I outline my lips, my regular makeup is light in the amount and in complexion. The color of my eyes is simple and subtle. Alaina has picked up my brush and is brushing out my hair.

Alaina and I agree the short dress looks good on me. It is 1:15 and I should be changing to the other outfit. However, the door buzzer for the outer door announces someone is here. Whoever is rung in from Andrew’s apartment and Mom comes through my connecting door.

She says, “Megan Stuart has come to pick you up.”

“But she’s thirty minutes early, I need to change outfits.” Mom and Alaina agree, what I have on works nicely. Megan Stuart knocks at the door and I let her in saying, “You’re early, I still need to change my outfit.”

Meg looks at me, “My dad might not agree, thinking it is too short. My Mom and I will be amazed Andrew can be hidden in there.”

Alaina says, “You’re saying Andrew is in there as Andrea?”

Megan says, “I heard there are those thinking you’re two people, but one in your apartment surprises me.” “Hey Andrea, my mother has family coming early this evening so we need to go and get home now.”

My mom hands me a button down wrap and helps push me through the door. She says on my way out, “I'm here through tomorrow night. Please save some time for us together.”

I am doing double duty as we ride with Mr. Stuart to their house. I’m reviewing notes for a quiz tomorrow in my head as we visit. I have to do that as I need to work on designs when I get back. I know three and I can draw them on paper. I might even draw one or two onto pattern paper using JC’s computer program. Mr. Stuart asks, “What are you thinking, you’re like Megan.”

I giggle, “I’m not that intelligent, I need to use my time wisely. I am sorry I shouldn’t be bad company. What do you do Mr. Stuart?”

He says, “I’m the administrator for a group of seven hospitals.”

“That’s a pretty big job then.”

“Not big enough, others with twenty to thirty are bidding to take us over.”

Megan, “Daddy, I told you that’s not the answer. You need to align with other small groups or independents and work together.”

I ask, “Is that a possibility?”

He says, “Yes, but I think it is in vain.”

I say, “But your medical center is tied to a research center; couldn’t that make you invaluable to the group Megan’s talking about. I’d think you might end up less important with the other groups.” …Logan Stuart says, “That’s the thing that has held me back. I’m holding back for assurances and funding.”

We’re at Megan’s and walking in. Laura, her Mom, greets me at the door, wow Andrew; I’m impressed.”

Megan says, “Mom when like this she’s Andrea! She wants you to refer to her as Andrea.”

I say, “I like that she recognizes I’m Andrew. Yes, Andrew’s here.”

Mr. Stuart is off talking on his phone. Megan and I go with her Mom. There’s another woman and we help get the last of the meal done and the table set. I thinly chop three apples, add raisins and a gooey white sauce mixed together. Her mom says, “I could use you here more often.”

Laura’s parents arrive and we eat. I am not sure the Denka’s know who I am and I don’t want to upset them. Suzanne sits and joins us for dinner. Mr. Denka is rushing not wanting to miss much of a football game after half-time. Logan Stuart’s mind is somewhere else. I comment on the lace window hangings, being dainty and well done like a wedding dress.

We are off discussing lace and things not easily being replicated by mass manufacturing. Mrs. Denka and Laura Stuart are part of a group, “Not So Royal Ladies”. JC even belongs to them though she makes less than half their gatherings.

We work to clean-up and put things away after dinner. I am interested in keeping Suzanne in the group. We’re interrupted by Logan Stuart again. “I wanted you to know Megan. I liked your idea. Talking to the larger groups was to keep their pressuring us at bay. Tomorrow or later this week, we’re likely to have a surprise announcement.” Megan is first afraid but relaxes seeing the smile of her dad’s face. She gives him a hug instead.

I ask the women, “Would you be interested in investing some finances and time to create a cottage industry?” Mrs. Denka likes the idea but is sure many in their group would complicate attempts to get it off the ground.

The coming year would be one of gathering information and samples of material for preservation and study. Suzanne and friends would use their sewing and creative talents to recreate what they could. They’d also find sources for a thread and creating fabrics as desired. No, this didn’t all happen today, but it did begin here. JC and I would direct 5% of each of our earnings into our part of the investment.

Back from the Stuarts, I’m wound up, getting down my new designs on paper and in design form. Mom interrupts me and insists I take time with her. I thought she was being inconsiderate. We go out for tea, we eat salads instead of pie. Well, we did splurge and share a piece of the pie. Then Leah and Samantha came to finish our time there.

Two different people stopped at our table on the way out a man saying how they likes seeing women in dresses. Only I was in a dress, but we all had skirts. The woman who stopped heard Sam’s comments that Andrea’s Threads helps to make it enjoyable.

The woman, Audrey, says, “One wishes, they had her foresight, but I guess it is as much her eye for design. Leah introduces me; the woman says, “I heard you went to school here and I thought I saw you once before. But you act too normal, I thought you couldn’t be her.” I give her a card to befriend me on the internet.

When we went back to the apartment, I became productive and worked until one in the morning.

The next morning, I call over to Elle and Megan’s, “Is Alaina up and getting ready, if she’s going to school with me?”

Megan asks, “I want to make sure it is alright with you and that you’re going as Andrea?”

“It’s too much effort to change over to Andrew this morning. Having Alaina along should be fun; if not she’ll be back here before noon.”

I have Jean Claude Cozier after high school, which should be interesting if Alaina comes along. I decide to wear another short dress though not as short as yesterday. Alaina enjoys German 2 with Frau. Schneider and with me in my German persona. I continue on with a German accent into History class and Alaina too is acting as a German-American who might have recently immigrated.

Friends and classmate enjoy meeting Alaina with her southern accent from North Carolina. I have Chemistry and lab with Megan. It is the first time I see Alaina speechless and not knowing something more than the other person. She is an intelligent enough student, but she’s mostly A’s, not a gifted student by any stretch.

Megan and my friend Debbie speak of Professor Cozier and it interests Alaina enough she wants to go with me to the university. The other students in the university class are sophomores, who meet Alaina, tell her not to take personal any attacks on me from the professor.

The class starts out well with mid-term papers being returned. The grade on my paper was visibly changed from an A to a B and at break I will ask why. The class is interesting but not as much as usual. He’s covering information we’ve already received. It is like he’s trying information from a new paper or book on us. He quotes people he’s mentioned before with people who agree with what he’s telling us.

The break comes and we go to the hallway, most looking for water, coffee or something else with caffeine. An art student complains, “He does this too much, next we’ll have grad assistants to finish out the classes.” Several students like me were told when we registered that wouldn’t happen.

I go back in early to find Professor Jean Claude Cozier to ask a critique on my report. His voice swiftly raises, “How dare you question my grade. A good Grad-Assistant graded it but she was way too lenient on you. I just corrected that.”

I say, “Yes, but you haven’t shown my mistakes. I don’t know what I need to work on.”

He looks around, “I see you dressed today as that sweet boy that you are. Maybe we could meet somewhere and I could then review your paper. I might bring your grade up.” I observed his hands and nails had attention been paid to them. The nails were longer and nicely buffed; I suspect afterward that polish was removed.

I ask, “Should Andrew be the one to come?” He says, no and suggests a place the other side of the city away from the university.”

I suggest he come in femme, so I’m not alone. He’s offended, “How dare you think that or set conditions?”

“Well I did, I can’t afford to be vulnerable alone. So take it or leave it.”

“Wednesday, at the Flowery Saddle; you be there by eight. I’ll be there shortly after that.” …I agree, but reiterate I’ll be walking out if Jeanne’s not there.”

I go to get Alaina and we sit for the remainder of the class. She and much of the class notice the Professor is different. He is off of this prepared lesson. The good news is he’s sharing new material on designs and placing art in a setting. When class ends close to the three hours scheduled, the class applauds and I’m amongst them.

Leah has waited but was just getting ready to leave when we come out of class. It has been a long day; I’d like to stop and eat but feel a need to get back to my Mom. Leah calls and mom’s making her goulash, which will be great on a cool fall night. Alaina chooses to get back to her sister.

Mom went home Tuesday and Alaina’s spending time with her sister at the university. Leah knows I’m meeting Professor Cozier tonight. She and Sam will go into the place before me. I go in five minutes later as some people have come and gone.

I don’t wait long and a long-haired woman from another table comes and greets me. I am ready to rudely send her away as she doesn’t take my hints to be alone. Then I recognize her to be Jeanne Cozier, though her name is Nicolle. She apologizes for being offensive to me, she seems to want to be close friends. “Our secret” she calls it.

Marv and Stevie have come in and they’re sitting in a table not far from us. Marv selects some music and his device plays it. Terra who owns the place takes the music and begins playing over her system. Several couples or friends are soon up and dancing before Stevie and Marv approach us to dance. I turn to Nicolle saying, I’m up to it but I’m not dancing alone. Nicolle feels the need to make sure they’re not from the university. Comfortable enough she takes Stevie’s hand and I’m with Marv.

The music moves into a slow dance and Nicolle continues, while I’m interrupted by Terra. “Proof of age or you need to be out of here?” I ask her, what exceptions there are. “You need to be accompanied by your parent, a guardian or be an owner and I know you’re not that.”

I ask, “And how much would it cost to buy in?”

Terra lightly laughs, “It just so happens, I’m running a special for $25,000.” I let her escort me out as she says, “I thought not.” Once outside I say, “I’ll be getting back to you; my accountant will need to run some numbers.”

Once outside and back in our SUV, I wait for Leah and Sam. Unfortunately, it took them another dance before they noticed I was gone. On our way home, I enlighten Leah about my brainstorm of owning a part in the pub. She smiles, “You know it has possibilities and could make its own profit.” Sam asks, “Will I be welcome if your sister and I aren’t an item?” I look to Leah and she shakes her head yes.

I get a call from Marv, “I’m out of there but Stevie’s still with the skirt.”

I tell him, “I don’t want to know anymore but thanks. I owe you.” Marv says, “I enjoyed it, maybe we could enjoy time together if Stevie moves away.”

“Please remember I’m a minor and not interested.”

He says, “Sixteen is on the fence, but don’t worry you’re too young for my tastes.”

I say, “Thankfully” as I end the call. Leah says, “He may have heard you; I’m not sure you were disconnected yet.”

Once we’re back, Samantha’s back to her place and my sister follows up to my apartment. My shoes are kicked off and we’re both sitting down and the TV is on. I call Mom, “Mom do you or Dan know someone who could evaluate the ownership in a pub?”

Once on the speakerphone: Leah and I and my Mom with Dan talk. The idea is soon sounding almost normal. Dan knows someone who could run the figures of the “Flowery Saddle” and another who could run the check on Terra Broyles.

I study an hour after the phone call. Leah’s got enough of her things and will stay the night with me. She’s the one breaking up with Sam, even though they’re not officially an item. She for once is taking a warm bubble bath and I’m listening to her. We both like what we’ve found in the LGBT community, less pretense but more honesty than we're used to.

I text JC, “Find me a place to be working this weekend. I think Leah is open to getting away with me, but I need to be busy.”

JC says, she’ll be back to me about the weekend. She reminds me, Tamara from Chicago is wanting to come here to visit me. I suggest that Chicago would be a good place to get away. JC’s office will see tomorrow what can be arranged.

Thursday, I have my business class at the university and my class with Cozier every other Thursday. Cozier’s class is good, but there’s a tension in the air. Cozier wants to meet with me during the break. He’s pretty sure I set him up, but I’m not admitting it. He says, “Do you know Stevie and his friend Marvin?”

“I’ve seen them before but I don’t really know them.” I tell him, “I was asked to leave by Terra for being underage. She didn’t give me a chance to say anything to you.” The professor and I agreed it wasn’t in either of our interests to tell anyone. He does give a threat if I’d tell anyone.

I complimented him on how he looked and that I had not recognized him. I asked if he might be interested in buying from my fashion line. He said he was too mature. I said, “Nicolle looked like she would flatter many of my fashions.” He said, he wasn’t really into crossdressing but did it only to visit with me.

To be continued…

Cozier asked, “Andrea do you know Stevie and his friend Marvin?” I asked back, “We’re they the guys who asked us to dance…” With a finger over his lips, “Shoos, not so loud, others shouldn’t hear.”

A little quieter but not quite enough, “I didn’t even get to finish dancing with my guy before I was requested to leave. I guess, I’m too young for the Flowery Saddle Club.”

Professor Jean Cozier finished the discussion and was happy to finish that class. And I wasted no time in getting home.

I packed a weekend bag before I went to school Friday morning. Not sure where I was going, just sure I would get away. Get text from Vee, JC’s office manager, “Janice Richards, your artist friend will be at the Capital City Museum, this weekend. She’ll make time for you, just confirm with her please.”

Text Leah and she confirms she is coming with me… My last class, I get a text from Tamara, “Coming in from Chicago who’s meeting me at the Airport. I’ll be landing at 3:50 this afternoon. I hadn’t heard from anyone… I’m looking forward to seeing you again.”

Leah’s at school to pick me up, and I tell her, “There’s a change of plans. We need to go to Patterson Airport and pick up Tamara from Chicago.”

Leah says, “Oh sorry, I forgot to share the message she’s coming to see you. When did you get the message?” Patterson’s a regional airport that I usually try to avoid. We’re there in time for Tamara who’s getting two checked in bags. Hugs all around.

I tell Tamara, “Your traveling is not done for today; we’re heading for the capital. The good news is, we’ll be taking the weekend off. We’ll see my artist friend Janice Richards.” I pick up Tamara’s plane tickets, they’ll be a business expense, as will the weekend.

Tamara hopes the weekend will be with Andrea. Our stop at the apartments to pick up our luggage includes me changing all my stuff. A travel cosmetic case is always ready. I’m changing and packing, using my fall fashions. Tamara is a size smaller, but I have an outfit for her to wear tomorrow night.

We hit the end of rush-hour traffic but hit some weekend travelers already getting away. Courtline Inns and Suites is close to the museum. We check in, shower and change as we get to the museum before Jan’s 7:00 p.m. presentation. Her blend of art and technology still blows me away.

She has her painting of a violent storm at the Grand Canyon now on her media presence. She points to a small cave and then zooms in. I’m in the cave, with Tamara and Leah and the cave is littered with clothes and boxes being blown about. I’m saying, “Forget the rest our car is here.” And with that, she’s captured us walking toward a car. Tamara looks at how we’re dressed, saying, “That was us coming into the museum.”

Jan Richards says to her audience, “That’s using art to give life a new setting.” She asks, “What would be the problem or attraction of using this to promote fashion?”

A female student says, “If they’re wanting our folks as customers they’d lose them and environmentalists.” …Another woman says, “But if they’re selling to youth and young adults they’ll make customers. It’s engaging, the second time the commercial is shown people will be watching to catch what they missed. I for one think I like her sister Leah’s outfit.”

The first woman says, “How do you know which one is Leah?”

Jan says, “You who are men here should not miss the point. Women will establish relationships. Not only is Andrea of Andrea’s Treads known, but people remember those connected with her.” Jan says, “Some of us like it because it uses art. Did any of you recognize the music?”

The audience goes quiet until, “I’m a classical musician, but part sounded like a jazz version of the “Grand Canyon Sweet.”

Janice says, “I knew at least three of you were here. And I was glad one of you recognized it. As Lora said, there are now different reasons for different consumers to identify with such an advertisement. I did not know until early this morning that Andrea would be here. Their walking in the promo was Andrea and friends walking into the museum.” Her audience is now turning around to look and see if it is true.

“Andrea, I know you did not come to be put to work, but would you please come up front for a moment?”

We had walked in halfway to find several seats without distracting the group. I now continue up to the low platform that Jan is working from. We hug and she has me turn to those gathered for her presentation.

She puts a small mic on me, saying, “This young woman is among a growing group that promotes artists, allowing us to make a living. Some may mock it, but many artists starve before their artwork is known enough to sustain a living.”

Those who plan to be an artist should consider being business people as well. Others can create ways their art can be translated into another form, such as architecture. Maybe sculpture wanted by the public or a buyer. The National Geographic and other groups use the art of photography to connect people to be interested in the world and societies around them, or even back into the past. It creates interest that funds future explorations and study.”

It is good to get together with Janice Richards afterward. We join with her, a musician friend and others extending the night. We’re back at someone’s place and some people just relax while others come and go. Janice and our group begin talking about art, but it’s not a time for business.

Tamara stays close with me while Leah moves around getting into other conversations and visiting. Tamara is behind me and I’m leaning against her as we’re visiting with Janice. JC called talking to Jan saying she’ll be around tomorrow or Sunday. I hadn’t known they were friends.

Jan runs her fingers through her hair, and has loosened her clothes, pulled off stockings as well as jewelry. She asks in a quizzical way how she was in her presentation and responding to others. While she did well tonight and the other time I saw her. It becomes evident she’s more comfortable with her art and working that with media than sharing it with others. I’m guessing she’s a perfectionist in some ways.

The problem is she does a marvelous job at presenting it in a way others can connect and understand. She grabs a book reading poems and thoughts from women through the ages. I’d call them mystics. I find myself enthralled like I am walking with her on an isle near Ireland. The woman we encounter there is so in tune with God and the Christ. We hear voices whispering of what she has done; men, as well as women, are devoted disciples of Brigid. There are others and the night is long.

Janice sees a light playing on the window and realizes we have visited through the night. Leah and Tamara had left sometime that I didn’t know. Janice takes me to her suite and throws me some clothes. I go to a second bedroom and bath where I shower then squeeze into a pair of panties. Like she did last night I loosely brush my hair and run my fingers through it. The blouse is oversized and will hang nicely over me. The skirt is long and layered, it wraps around my waist and hips.

I have called back to Leah, she and Tamara are just rustling out of bed, she says. We are to meet at the museum around 11:00 a.m. Leah will be on her own and I’ll have lunch with Tamara. Other than a visit to one or two stores the day will be ours and relaxing.

Janice and I visit a bakery, getting pastry and tea. Sliced strawberries or kiwi lay on the pastry with a sprinkle of confection. Our time is casual, observing people were responding to questions from one another. She shows interest in knowing me. I am amazed by the layers and threads that form her. She is philosophical and spiritual as well as artistically inclined. Her knowledge of computers gives her tools to feed her creativity and desire to know more and go deeper. We are there from seven-thirty to near nine-thirty.

We walk to the museum together where we find her easel and her paints being set up. She has her Sondra, who is setting things up. There is a painting on the easel, the painting is barely started. They call a security person to make sure nothing is disturbed. Sondra, Jan and I walk through the museum. Sondra and Jan comment on some pieces, neither agreeing nor disagreeing. They ask me to do the same. When I ask a question, Sondra says, “Relax and just see what you see.”

It seemed like longer but come 10:05 Jan is in front of her painting, and Sondra is awaiting any request. I am free to stay or look around. Come 11:00 Jan is to have another presentation; I am encouraged to miss it. Jan does call me to her, she applies unique colors as eyeshadow to my face. She says, “Now you’ll be free to move about.”

I greet my sister and Tamara, neither of them recognize me by my appearance, only by voice do I give myself away. Neither are big into museums, so we’re soon heading downtown to look at stores. We soon find Closet Full Boutique and good to its word it is filled with fashions deserving to be in a woman’s closet. Ms. Bennett is surprised I’m here. I’m there but she fails to recognize me. She spots Leah and asks her where I am.

I was over to a section of the store where my line is displayed. I am disappointed that it is off to the side, not in the general path of traffic. When Ms. Bennett comes over and welcomes me, she knows something is upsetting me. She says, “Our sales of your clothing is quite good.” It is something I already know, but I’m wondering why it is not used to attract shoppers.

“May I call you Doris?” Given permission, I speak. “My look today is so I can be out and about without people noticing me. But I’m wondering as good as your sales of Andrea’s Threads are, why you’re not using them to attract in more customers?”

She says, “They do very well there, plus my traditional shoppers like to think they’re buying something special…” I interrupt her, “Something most others might not be able to afford. Yes, I know. …My understanding is that my fashions have brought back in younger shoppers. Do they just buy my line? It was my understanding the trend is they include other purchases as well.”

Doris is quiet, confirming what I said is probably true in her store as well. I know some stores are reluctant to change the layout of their clothes, especially long-established names and brands.

I had sent out a message ten minutes earlier that I am at the Closet Full Boutique, downtown in the city. A saleswoman comes back with two customers, saying to Doris, “These customers say Andrea Stephens is here. Is she really coming here or is it a hoax?”

The saleswoman does not recognize me but I speak up anyway. “Yes, I’m already here, but it was only the spur of the moment that I made it known, I’m here.”

Both customers are college students finished classes for the week. Connie and Deb know each other but hadn’t come together. Connie smiles as she looks at me saying, “I’m an art student; it looks like Richards’ influenced you more than vice versa. But I do like most of what you design.” We exchange greetings and I do with Deb as well.

I ask them both if they have anything special coming up for the holidays. “Will you dress up,” I ask? And then I suggest that they select something they would like to wear to it? Deb is off and looking, they’re not limited to Andrea’s Threads in their consideration. Connie describes one of my outfits she’s seen on the internet and asks Ms. Bennett, “Where do you have that outfit. I looked for it before but hadn’t found it anywhere in the city?”

Doris says, “We have things like you’re describing.” Connie’s disappointed.

The other things are from upper line fashions that I was pushed to design, but stores like Bennett’s have not yet stocked my clothes as such. I pull out a small tablet and do a quick search. I asked Doris, “Can I ask if this is what she’s looking for? If she would buy it. I would have it here overnight if needed and you will have the sale.”

Doris says, “Yes.”

I ask, Connie and she says, “Yes, but I not only wanted that blouse, but you have another dress up blouse that has red, grey and blue swirls. It is cheerful and works for the holidays but isn’t limited to Christmas.” Tamara says which top it is and I locate it on my site.

“Connie, could you be back in tomorrow if I can have them here overnight?”

She says, “I can be but I need to figure if I can afford them.” That might mean she needs her parents or someone’s approval to spend that much. Or it is herself holding to a budget. Doris says, “We accept most credit cards, you can just charge it.”

“Yes, that’s how I’d buy it but I still have a limited budget.”

Doris and I soon agree on ordering two each of the skirt in various sizes and the same for the blouses. Only Connie’s will be the colors she’s asking for. Both Doris’ store and Connie will get good deals. I include two signed posters in with the order that “I, Andrea, was here!”

Doris has the right to price my outfits up to ten dollars over what we recommend. Though they’d have to retag them to do so. The hour we’re there a dozen customers came in to see me. I was glad only two were upset that I was wearing Jan’s clothes and not my own fashion. Doris acknowledges more customers came in seeing the interests of others.

I already have three designs in my head that I’ll call creative, inspired by Janice Richards. I would need to get Jan’s approval if it becomes a reality.

Tamara shops with me at a fabric store as I am looking for dress material with which to make my original designs with. It is in draping different materials over Tamara and liking several that I get an idea: quickly drawing a peacock tail print with tree wood and leaves. Another is a palate of colors of solid red, yellows and blues as well as blends of the three. Tamara laughs as I can be racing sixty miles per hour with ideas and stop for ten minutes considering one small detail.

I have been known to stop the process believing I will keep the idea until I get back to it. I have lost no less than three designs that way. Then again I have poured a solid twenty hours in a design that was scrapped on the design table.

Now I stop as we are invited to a champagne dinner given in honor of Janice and the museum. I picked up my dress at O’Brien’s our second stop in the afternoon. Tonight I’m wearing a short evening cocktail dress in an off red. Its brightness accents my youth in comparison to many who will be there.

A John and Martha Wallace would-be supporters of the arts are grateful I am there. Their daughter T’more a seventeen-year-old teen was brought with them. Until T’more and I met she was there under protest. It is not merely my presence that wins her over, though we did bond quickly. She is awed to meet Jan the media artiste. T’more is much more energetic and outgoing than the crowd, even me. She is slowed down as Jan gets her to see more deeply into art.

She is my first experience as Andrea of another woman turning on Andrew. I am not sure if she knows what she’s doing pertaining to Andrew. She knows we hit a cord. We both do our best to control ourselves in public and retire in separate directions. Jan and Leah both realized what had happened and what didn’t happen. Once out of my dress back at our suite, Leah enjoys taking me to the shower and turning on the cold water.

Once, I will design a shawl of five feet of a fine mesh material that will go over one dress for Janice. It appears to be a special unknown design of color. It will be re-released in two years or more for a series of dresses and outfits of fairies and mystics.

The weekend is important as I learn the importance of relaxing; I make personal friends of both Janice and Tamara business associates. T’more and I will rarely get together but our bond will last. I lay awake Sunday night in bed as Andrea, dreaming as Andrew making love. And yes he was first in my dress of Saturday night.

The time served another purpose of saving Andrew’s juices into a bottle.

I go as Andrea to school come Monday; it is a shortened week with Thanksgiving coming and the day is filled with quizzes, reviews and for American history included a comparison of two early settlements New England and Virginia.

Before I travel to the university for my college course, I receive a text from Mom. “The Flowery Saddle Club is a very good investment. Please swing by there with Leah after your class and sign a binding letter of intent. You will obtain thirty-five percent interest for forty thousand dollars and another twenty-five in a loan. You’ll be a silent partner, but your being visible will help.”

Class-wise it will be another night of Cozier instructing well while upsetting me. He is still upset with me and making threats to my grade. If need be, I could afford the financial loss of losing credits.

Andrew, being a good boy, is a misnomer from the past year. I tell Cozier as I’m leaving class for my buying into the Flowery Saddle Club to remember him. He doesn’t believe me which is understandable, but I tell him I am going there now to sign papers. And I tell him I’ll buy him a drink if he shows up.

I get there at 9:30 and the evening is slow. I am surprised to see Dan my step-father here. He has the original document and copies to be signed. We are signing the document with Terra Wells. Her significant other, my step-dad and Leah are witnesses. And Professor Dr. Cozier comes in as we finish signing the documents.

I have been given a small glass of champagne to celebrate as Terra and I toast one another. I greet the Professor and suggest a kiss. He is very willing and soon plants a bigger kiss on my lips than I expected. I am repulsed but wait and kiss him on the cheek. Pictures of both were taken.

He says. “I don’t know what kind of parents you have but I’m going to enjoy toying around with you.”

I turn and introduce, “Professor Cozier, I’d like to introduce you to my Step-father Dan Johnson.”

Cozier quickly makes claims of entrapment and that I should not think of scamming him. I simply state, “I have no desire to do more than finish this class with you. I do hope that I will get a fair grade. And I don’t want to hear of students being mistreated by you in or out of class.” He finishes his drink and starts to walk out. I say, “You or Nicolle are both welcome here, this is a safe place if you’re on good behavior.”

I knew my Dad wanted to follow him out and either give him a piece of his mind or worse. Instead, he turns to me, “Why are you letting him off the hook, even inviting him back?”

I say, “Weren’t you the one telling me once about the guy who said, ‘Keep your friends close and your enemies’ closer.’” Terra shares with both of us, “When Nicolle comes here, two drinks and her lips are loose. Mr. Johnson, I learned a long time ago you don’t want to get into bed with scum like that. But it is not bad to know what they might be up too. Most of what Nicolle says here has only a remnant of truth, but it’s helpful to know.”

I ride back to the apartment with Dan and he takes Mom’s room in Andrew’s apartment and Leah gets her things and sleeps with me. Leah again knows I’ve not been sleeping well, but with her there I end up falling to sleep at one in the morning and it is a restful night.

Come morning and our getting around Leah comments, “I am finally glad to see the other side of Andrew show up. I was beginning to think you became a saint.” We both stop next door and give Dan a good-bye kiss.

I wasn’t planning to go six days as Andrea but here I am. Once I’m at school Megan rubs up against me, “I hope you’re not coming to school as Andrea just to keep me at a distance.” She invites me to sit with her at lunch. I will need to wait fifteen minutes as we’re on stagger lunch shifts.

I know Megan is attracted to me as Andrea as well. During lunch, she even suggests that Andrea and her share an apartment at the University. I am more interested in becoming close friends, while fringe benefits for both of us would not be discounted.

Chemistry today is a test using our lab capabilities. It is something how she and I work together. She has begun understanding chemistry. Our lab experiment goes well and is easy enough. Using a quarter of Sandra and Allie’s solutions we solve their experiment as well. I am only tickled that I am still a contributing member of our team. As class ends Megan celebrates by giving me a hug.

Megan and Andrew had hugged and kissed before, but Andrew was bound up top then. Today my little girls are warmed by hers. Going out the door she says, “Yes, I can enjoy this too.”

Come, the end of school today, I receive a note encouraging me to take tomorrow off with the possibility of a winter storm. Mrs. Stein says, “We are happy you’re a student here and have adjusted so well. Please play it safe and get back to your home at Hillside. See you on Monday.

A group of students is going to meet at one of our spots, Megan sends a note she’ll be there for an hour. “I want to go over your web page and see if you agree with a holiday outfit I want?”

It has become uncanny to me that I quickly learn a person’s style and preferences. I like friends like Megan who have a variety of tastes and things they look well in. There is a red skirt and a print top I kind of expected her to pick as she did. I do suggest two tank tops for her to wear under the blouse she chooses for an added look. Everything will work for a white skirt that I know she has, along with slacks that she occasionally wears. I quickly put my tablet away, telling others they need to go online or better to buy from a store.

Soon I’m back to the apartment and packing. Dan has stayed around but insists we go home soon. He says, “I hear you sent your sister Heidi money to be home for Thanksgiving. I told her I would help now as well as the holidays. She’s called your Mom that she is coming in tomorrow night. Luckily home is enough further to the south that her flight has a better chance of not being canceled.”

I pack two suitcases with the larger one full of Andrea’s things and Andrew’s clothes thrown into his suitcase. I am glad that I have some clothes for Andrew and Andrea already at home. It is dark by the time we set out for home. Dan and I in one vehicle and Samantha with Leah in our car. I’m already thinking, I’ll get to take my driver’s test come Friday morning.

We’re less than a half-hour from home and our stomachs are growling when we stop for Chinese food. Dad had me call thirty minutes earlier and Mom is here to eat with us. Their tea helps me to warm as I take a drink and hold the cup in two hands.

Mom lightly giggles at me, “How is Andrew to show himself with those fingernails?” They are long for a boy. Filed down a little and with no visible polish, they’re usually passing. I know, I’ve been doing it the past two weeks.

I see Tendra, a girl I know, and say hello as she passes our table. She turns to see who called her and I ask, “How are you doing?” I’ve forgotten I met her at an arcade celebration when I first moved back to Hillside.

She says, “If I should know you, what’s your name?”

I reply “Andrew, we met at the arcade contests at the end of last summer. I mean the year before.”

Tendra laughs and then stops, “I’m sorry but you don’t look like the Andy I met. You do look like someone I’ve seen but I can’t remember where.”

Sam says, “Maybe on TV.”

Tendra looks again, “Yes, you kind of look like Andrea, but you look older.” Tendra looks side to side. Maybe she recognizes Leah. “You’re not playing a prank on me are you? You’re not really Andrea of Andrea’s Threads?”

I say, “Yes, but don’t you remember me as Andrew at that event?”

She says, “Would you go with me to the women’s restroom?” When I say yes; she says, “I don’t think even that Andy was brash enough to follow me into a girls’ bathroom. I know some say Andrea’s a boy, but there is no evidence of that.”

I’m frustrated as Andrew by now; I stand up smoothing my outfit. Conscious how I look and that I’m naturally speaking with Andrea’s voice. “I’m sorry, I understand. I am Andrea and we did meet. I’m sorry to have confused you.” With that, I’m expecting her to continue to the restroom.

Tendra takes my hand saying, “Take your purse and we can go together. You could use fixing your makeup and hair.” We go into the girl’s room and are soon followed by another girl looking for Tendra.

Tendra’s back out of the toilet stall she used. I am soon out of mine and going to the sink. Tendra begins to introduce me, “Steph, this is…”

Steph puts out a small scream, “Andrea, Andrea’s Threads!”

Tendra says, “Don’t tell anyone that I brought him into the girl’s restroom.”

Steph says, “Of course she’s Andrea.” “Hi Andrea, how come you’re here? Wow, it’s good to meet you!”

I explain, “I’m coming home from school. It’s nice to meet you too Steph. I take it you know of my clothing line.” I’m pretty sure her tops are mine. Steph turns around trying to show a clothing label printed onto the top.

Between Tendra and Stephanie, it sounds like an echo as they’re asking me, “Can you come… Can you come… meet our friends… meet our friends… from our club… there’s sixteen of us. It might as well be a girls’ club there are only two guys and one of them isn’t here tonight!”

I fix my makeup and add a touch more color for it being nighttime. We walk together passed my table and into a side room. There are thirteen other girls and a guy who is probably at least six foot. A few recognize me before Tendra can tell them.

My Mom comes to get me and I end up introducing her to them. Instead of going back Mom and I sit for a moment. It is a Spirit Club from the Plainfield Community Schools. I ask Darrin, “Why are there just two guys part of this club?”

He says, “Most guys don’t like clubs dominated by girls.” So I ask, “What about you and the other guy, besides the obvious they aren’t scary?”

Darrin chuckles, “No offense but maybe they’re afraid they’ll end up looking like you? Didn’t your classmates in your art class last year change you?”

Now it’s my and my mother’s turn to laugh, I say, “Do you think some really believe that?” Silence, then I ask, “You know the truth don’t you?” By now Dan, Leah, and Sam are in the room eating at another table.

Tendra says, “We have time explain to us?” Others shake their heads.

“I was in fact in an art class with only upper-class girls, but it was I heard part of an assignment. Instead of designing and making a suit or tuxedo, I designed a lavish prom gown. I didn’t hear the part of it supposed to be for me, sewing it or the part about needing to model it. I knew little about girls’ clothes so I got a job at Carole’s Towne Shoppe in Hillside. And Carrie helped me learn what I needed to know both to work there and then for my project. I was surprised that it came easy and I liked it. Girls stuff is so much more creative and just a lot nicer, not to mention the girls.”

“The girls in class tried to warn me but they also complimented my designs. It was after Thanksgiving that I finally realized they were serious. But I have attention deficit and every school in the past went overboard in making allowances. I was kind of spoiled that way. I figured the further I got and then if I made it to the New Year, they’d have to make allowances.

“Well by then it was a problem of Mr. Murphy and I both getting stubborn? I couldn’t get the girls I wanted to model it, and the girls in my class gave measurements close to mine. I wasn’t or at least didn’t know I was transgender at that time. I had already bought most of the material and cut out some patterns. The first two pieces I sewed together were bad, but my new friends Tera and Jennifer rode me until I knew what I was doing. Along with Ms. Miller, my sewing teacher, I mastered what I needed to do.”

“Jennifer was the first to convince me I’d make a good looking girl. I was in almost total denial.” Tendra says, “You already knew you were interested, didn’t you?”

I said, “Terra and I finally convinced the original girl I wanted, to model it for me. But the closer we got to the art festival, the time to model it. I knew Mr. Murphy had it in for me, and I decided not to give him any satisfaction. With Terra saying she’d take me to the prom, I set it up. Mr. Murphy would think he beat me, and I was set to win.”

“Well, I kind of won yet Mr. Murphy won by getting me to model my gown. Miss. Miller had JC Harper come and things flew from there. I couldn’t believe my designs and making dresses and gowns was to continue. I kept thinking this or the next time would be my last time dressing like me. But I love it now and it’s just over six months.”

I ate my dinner and it was past time to leave and get home. The Spirit Club left first and Tendra who’s a senior hug and rubs up against me to say good-bye. She even stuffs a note down my blouse. She didn’t know that she turned me on but she did.

This ride home, I was with Mom and she began talking about me maturing. It was kind of embarrassing because I expected that it should come from a dad. Knowing I’m different I knew Mom should be the one, but I thought I knew enough.

The talk didn’t get too far in the car, but Mom was set to talk to me as long as it took. “Andrea, you’re one person and Andrea/Andrea are maturing. They’re not separate and you need to be mindful of that. I have a Marianne Guess a counselor, who could work to bring the two of us through this together. I know you have your own counselor and you’ll probably not like the idea but I hope you give it consideration.”

“Mom, I agree. There will probably be things I don't want to share with you. Is this Marianne near my school or here?”

Mom says, “We’d probably start with her after the New Year and I’d be staying more there.”

I wake up dreaming about Tendra, Terra, and others, but Mom’s knocking at the door saying, “Matt Scott’s on the phone.” I’m changing to Andrew’s voice to kill his interest.

Matt nicely apologizes and then says, “It might be odd Andrew, but we have a State playoff game Friday. I’m hoping you’d come to the game and root us on as Andrea.” I talk to him as I put a robe on and go find my Mom once more.

I’m covering the phone, “Mom, he’s wanting me to go to the playoff game Friday as Andrea.”

Mom says “You can go if you want to. You’d be able to go with your Dad or the Scotts; I know Mrs. Scott and his sisters adore you.” Mom stares, “Don’t leave him hanging, say yes or no.”

“O sorry Matt, I had to ask permission. I guess it’s a go.”

Matt says, “Call the school this morning and get a student ticket. Make sure you pick it up today also. …Do you hear that? And I’ll pay for it, it will be in my name. If you need a ride I’d think you could get a ride with your friend Jennifer or with my Mom and sisters. If we win, I wouldn’t mind time to celebrate with you.”

When I hang up, I turn to lean against a counter and Mom’s looking at me. “Mom as Andrew I just made a date, kind of, with another boy. I know I’m going as Andrea but isn’t that kind of weird to you?”

Mom comes over to me, “I kind of think it is actually an ideal setting. Consider it, you’re wrestling with you expanding identity. And this will be a non-anxious time, it’s not like you’re hot passionately in love with him but you do find at times you’re relating to boys. Take it as an opportunity to find out what your interests in boys are.”

“Mom, I’m not interested.”

She says, “Well the choice was just yours and you decided to go. Right now I think you should quickly get dressed and get to school. I am sure there are teachers and students that will be happy to see you.”

I call Jennifer about coming to school; again I begin talking like Andrew but Jennifer’s wanting Andrea. “Please Andrew brush out your hair and find something enjoyable to wear as Andrea. I think my boyfriend is more comfortable with you that way.” She says, “Murphy went on a trip beginning last Friday. I’m sure Ms. Shurts will be glad to meet you. I know Ms. Miller will, she thinks one of her sewing students make it big. We even have a new advanced class on textiles and fashion thanks to you. There’s eight of us.”

“I don’t know if you knew Blake, but it’s Blaze now and she’s a lot like you yet not. She might be Blake even before the end of the semester.”

I’m dressing as we’re talking as I’m sure Jennifer is at her sink fixing makeup and hair. I can hear her makeup cases and jars against a sink top. Suddenly Jennifer says she needs to go. She says, “I need to talk to you about Matt Scott before he asks you out…”

We’re disconnected.

To be continued…
Happy Thanksgiving 2016

Jennifer had called me, and she told me she needed to talk to me, before I made any date with Matt Scott. The problem is I already agreed to go watch the state semi-championship game, before she called. I try calling her back but her phone goes to messages which is full. I call again and tell her phone, “This is not fair. You have me wondering but I can’t reach you.” I’m hanging up when it sounds like she might be answering. I call her back and I’m getting a busy signal as if she’s calling me.

I call the school about football tickets and Dr. Valerie, the Principal answers. But I am already asking, “Are there still student tickets for Friday’s football game?”

She says, “Is this Hillside’s own Andrea Stephens?” I ask how she recognized my voice so fast. She says, “I’ve heard you enough, I guess. Plus now and then I’ve heard your voice at Carol’s or on advertisements.”

“I am glad you’re home and yes to your question about the tickets. They’re twelve dollars, but I’ll need to make a complimentary student I.D. card. It is needed along with the ticket if they ask for proof of you being a student.” She says with a joyful tone in her voice, “You need to come in and get the ticket and the I.D. card for which I need to take a picture. So get here soon please. I will be looking forward to seeing you.”

I put on a plaid wrap around skirt with an oversize pin and a pink long-sleeve top created to go with the skirt. I think it is common and simple; Mom asks, “Who are you dressing up to impress?”

“Mom, I am simply going to the school to pick up a football ticket. I also need to have my picture taken for a temporary student I.D.”

Mom says, “You could take an online class from Carrie Druthers for their Fashion-Design class.”

“I like that idea!”

I am soon to the school and its nine minutes before classes. “Hi Mrs. Mueller, is Principal Hayes here?”

“She’s stepped out for a minute but said I could take your picture for a student ID and get that made up. Are you going to take any classes back here or is this completely complimentary?”

I say, “I would like to sign up for Carrie Druthers on-line class, Fashion-Design.”

She lightly laughs, “Won’t that come a little late for the likes of you?”

“Carrie’s actually the one who first helped me to understand women’s fashions and design my first gown. I had no idea of what I was to do. She and Ms. Miller were lifesavers.”

The Principal comes back as I’m posing for my picture. Mrs. Mueller delightfully announces, “She’s even registered for our online fashion-design class. She says Ms. Druthers is the first one to teach her about designing clothes.”

Dr. Hayes says, “I guess that makes sense.”

“Andrea was that why you went to work with her last year? If so, you were a quick learner.” We talk and Dr. Hayes says, “Would it be okay if we acknowledge you’re taking one of our online classes?”

I ask, “Would you be willing to wait until I am in fact taking the class? You can already say I’ve taken sewing lessons from Ms. Andrea Miller. You can also say I took art and design from Mr. Murphy if he doesn’t mind.”

Mrs. Mueller the secretary says, “But I thought you didn’t get along with him?”

“I wouldn’t mention that but it is true that I learned from him. I’d rather the hurts not be remembered and pointed out.”

“Ms. Hayes, would it be okay to say hello to students in the hallway or go see Ms. Miller in her classroom?”

She says, “Yes, but you need Ms. Miller’s permission to be in her classroom.” The class bell had just rung so it is easy enough to see other students in the hallway. The bigger problem is to see the ones I know and can remember their names and faces.

There is Jayne, who I knew from last year and she was already very nice, but it is like she began blossoming since I last remembered her. She gives me a hug and then turns around. “I hope you are living back here next summer so we can be good friends. Did you notice I’m not plain Jane anymore?”

“You weren’t plain before, but like me, you have blossomed more.” She could not help but touch my top to feel my breasts.

She asked, “Is that really you?”

“If you can keep a secret... some yes. Maybe we could get together sometime during the holidays.”

I get to Ms. Miller’s home economics room and it is mostly this year’s sophomores. I knock and Ms. Miller says, “Hello, why are you knocking? I thought I had already given you a standing invitation to come any time you’re in town.”

I say, “Cause Principal Hayes says I should. And I don’t want to interfere with your class.”

Ms. Miller says to the class, “I mostly had Andrew as my student last year. Is there someone in the class who doesn’t know who Andrea is?”

A girl, I don’t recognize raises her hand, Ms. Miller calls upon her, “Tell Andrea your name, I’m sure she would like to know you.”

She says, “My name is Adrienne Thoms. I kinda know who Andrea is, but who’s Andrew? I heard his name but I don’t know why people bring up his name with your name. Is he your brother?”

Ms. Miller pauses not sure if she should say anything or not. I speak up, “I’m Andrea Stephens but I was Andrew when I woke up this morning. But I decided to visit the school as Andrea. Now does that help you?” I could see Adrienne’s eyes widen and then look puzzled.

She looks at me and then says, “You mean that they’re both you?” I shake my head affirming her statement. Like many others, she says, “I don’t see any way you’re Andrew.”

“I take that as a compliment.”

Two students ask Ms. Miller, “Can we use part of the class asking you and Andrea some questions?

Andrea Miller looks to me, “Would you mind sitting up here and answering a few questions?” She turns to the students, “If there is anyone who needs to finish a project before Thanksgiving break. You can start working on your project, just listen in.”

I’m surprised with some twenty students only three go to work on projects. One girl asks, “This is like the chicken or the egg. Which came first, were you a girl before you started to design your gown?”

I say, “It’s a good question and the best I can say. I had no idea how much I would enjoy being Andrea. I tried hard not to model or wear my prom gown. Even when Terra asked me to the prom and encouraged me to wear my gown for the art show. I wasn’t sure.” I am gazing into space, remembering the time. “I was wearing my gown, ready to walk out of the runway. That was when I first saw me as Andrea. Next.”

One girl blurts out “Do you like boys?” Another girl says out loud, “Is it true that Matt Scott asked you out?”

I say, “Neither of you waited to ask, so I won’t answer.”

Thea asks, “You do your makeup and hair well. One, how hard was that to learn, and two, how did you find your own look?”

“I am guessing by your asking about ‘my look’, you know I think girls or any person should try to be themselves and not just copy what they think looks good. Can I use you as an example?”

She says yes. I ask, “Thea could you please stand? I think your present look is very good. If you’re going to a party, I think you would do well with a casual look. If you’re dressing up, I can think of several outfits with shorter skirts that would fit that idea... If a boy asks you to the prom. I could see you in a long slender dress. I think you would do well to use color in your gown and makeup to emphasize joy and life.”

She asks, “Thanks, I like those ideas. Could you show me at the store later what you think looks good on me?”

“I’ll plan to be there at 3:30 if you want me.”

Someone asks, “Ms. Miller, what was it like to teach Andrew? What was the hardest thing for her to learn?”

She says, “As your use of names and pronouns seem interchangeable with Andrea Stephens. When she began, the kinds of fabrics and how to use them were hard for Andrew to remember and comprehend. I think by learning things here and working at the store helped Andrew to learn things and how to apply them. It was enjoyable for his mother, Carrie Druthers and me to see as Andrew learned things. That Andrea grew more and more as part of Andrew. Andrea was already pretty visible sometime in early February. She possibly didn’t realize it until the Hillside Arts Festival approached, in particular at the Fashion Show.”

Jayne asks, “Didn’t she, I mean his mom get upset when she thought her son might be changing to be Andrea?”

“If she was, it might have been visible at home; it wasn't known by me. The only concern I heard was if Andrew might be hurt by others. I think having Principal Hayes helped a lot there. There were others with identity concerns, gender or sexual, who were in fact helped by how the school responded with Andrea. With Andrea gaining some notoriety; how we treat students came under brighter light and more important to the school overall.”

That discussion ended and I went to see what Michele Keaton was doing for her project. I had noticed before she had her hand up to ask a question.

Michele, I am sorry we didn’t get to your question. Your brother Jeff was a good friend to me last year. Is he going to college as he wanted?” I look at her sewing project; it is a patchwork coat, a jeans coat. It is beautiful but not in the classic sense. It is mostly blue jeans though there are four pieces of white and another four pieces from maroon jeans. She is now sewing a fleece lining to the inside.

She asks my opinion, and I quickly tell her it is beautiful as I thought. “You thought something else, I would appreciate knowing what that was?”

I tell her, “I first thought of trying to attach the lining with a zipper so it would be more comfortable in warm weather. But I think you’re doing it this way is actually the better way to do it.”

Michele smiles, “I thought the same, but I also thought I don't like it as much if I wear it year around.” We talk and she asks if I thought it was commercially sell-able. I tell her my thought that it would be a better sell from a cottage industry where each coat was personally done and looked a little different. When she told me she had designed the coat pattern herself. I suggested she license it before sharing it any further. “Michele, I would be willing to buy the rights to it from you. But you should never sell the rights fully away. And as you develop spin-offs like a shorter version, vests or it unlined, license each.”

With the changing of classes, Jennifer was seeking me out and finally caught up to me. “Andrea, I’ve been trying to catch up to you. You hadn’t returned my call; I lost connection with you and. Well you know as you were trying to get me I tried calling you too, but you stopped.”

I ask, “So what’s this about Matt that I need to talk to you first? He and I had talked and I got a ticket for Friday’s game.”

She takes me away from others before she’ll talk. “I’m not really certain, but I think he plans to do something to you to show others something…? I think he feels a need to prove something because he had danced with you when you were here last. Someone spread a rumor that you two kissed and that he’s gay.”

I say, “What do you mean that he has something to prove? You don’t suggest he would try to do something to me, do you?”

Jennifer says, “That’s it; I’m not sure of much or how reliable it is. But I felt like I needed to say something. I don’t really know Matt. He seems like a nice guy and I don’t want to screw anything up for you or come between you.”

I say, “He’s not my boyfriend and I’m not even sure why or how I like him.”

Jennifer, “Well as you’re a boy, I’m sure you know what he’s thinking?” I’m thinking, “What, not really?”

I am now looking passed Jennifer as Matt has come to the Home Ec. room. Ms. Miller looks to me and I’m sure she has given him permission to come into the class and talk with me. Jennifer asks, “Why are you blushing?”

“I’m not!” I know, I am but I’m uncomfortable acknowledging that I like a guy as Andrea. Jennifer turned her head to see Matt and turns back giggling at me. She says, “It looks like I should leave you two alone.”

I say, “You do no such thing!” She leaves us alone despite my plea.

He comes to me, “I hear you picked up a football ticket. They say, Principal Hayes is happy about something, but I doubt it is quite the same as myself. I hope I don’t embarrass you. There are other girls here that I like but somehow I like having you to cheer for me.”

He says, “My Mom says, I should consider that others might think I’m gay. She’s said, I could also be causing problems for you and your image?”

Xpress and JC have both done their homework on this subject; seemingly vast majority following my clothing line is either not interested in me personally or they’re expecting people to take interest in Andrea even more than they expect the same about Andrew.

I now know, I won’t grow to look manly; and while my budding breasts aren’t big, they are sensitive and cause my emotions to fluctuate. They are more sensitive than I would have thought. And though Matt is a grade ahead of me, he’s probably two years older.

I say, “If you’re worried about the impressions others have? I should probably be going to the game with Jenn, or maybe Ms. Miller might allow me to be down near the cheerleaders like before.”

Matt says, “No, I was just letting you know what my mom told me. I want to get together with you afterward if we win.” Matt looks around and then gives me a hug and I give him a kiss near his ear.

I ask, “And how would you explain yourself if I step back and walk away from you right now?”

Then I say, “I need to ask, what your intentions are toward me? Part of a rumor got to me that you need to prove or do something in relation to me.”

He cringes, “Someone who didn’t like me at my old school, questioned my manhood. A cheerleader and I made-out when I was there and that jerk told others that I did the girl to prove I like girls. It hurt the girl and resulted in me being kicked out of sports there when we got into a big fight. I have since learned that guy has sent several letters to people here.”

I step back and Matt’s head goes down. “Does this mean you’re literally backing away from me and us being friends?”

I say, “No, but it does mean, we will take our time and become friends and establish our relationship.”

After school, I talk to Jennifer and Sharon, one of the cheerleaders. Sharon says, “It is true that we cheerleaders got one of the letters. I have since talked to Matt’s old girlfriend via a phone call. Laura says, Matt is as dear as he appears. Depending if and where he gets a scholarship; she says she would consider going to school there.”

We’re at the Towne Shoppe when Thea, Jayne, and Michele come walking through the door together. I forgot who wanted me to show what. So I am busy sizing them up hoping I’ll be ready to respond to what they want.

Thea asks, “What would I look good in during the holidays?” I quickly ask if she likes skirts. “Yes, but to get a special skirt for just Christmas time, means I can’t use it at other times.”

“Carrie and I both agree that is not necessarily true. You can get a very attractive red, white or a dark green skirt that could work well with either of the other two colors for Christmas. It could also be worn other times of the year with other combinations. It could become a go-to skirt with many possibilities. A bright red skirt and a shimmering green satin blouse would be fantastic on you. I’d stay away from green and red combinations in January. But something in black would go well as the blouse.”

Carrie says from behind me, “A nice red dress with a white or holiday scarf would do well for the holidays but still leave you with a cute red dress.” I add, “That is a basic that should be in every girl’s closet anyway.”

I turn to Thea, “So what do you think would be another good look for you?”

Thea says, “Well I need to wait until my boyfriend comes around. Now it is either how you see me or jeans. He doesn’t like me changing my appearance, but I don’t like wearing the same old things, but what can I do?”

I say, “You don’t need to be overly dramatic about it. But if you are with the same boy as last year; you have this school year and all of the next to stay pleasing him. Or you can nudge him to grow up some. I bet he looks at new or better cars without demanding them to remain the same.”

“He won’t ever change until you pressure him or he gets another girlfriend. If you don’t change in the next year and a half you might find yourself stuck in a rut.”

Thea says, “There’s no way that is going to happen.”

Michele said, “It hasn’t changed in the past year. Why would it change? I think your guy is a hunk, but he’s kind of a Neanderthal when it comes to how he treats you.”

Changing the subject, I ask Carrie to look at Michele’s quilted jeans coat. I have a picture of it and I get Michele explaining her coat to Carrie.

I take it as an opportunity to show Thea other looks that might look good on her. She likes a tan skirt with a lining that I have picked out. She says, “I can’t afford skirts like this.”

I say, “This skirt is yours free of charge, but I do ask you to look at the price. It is often the same price as a regular skirt or no more than two dollars. It is still much less expensive than many of the other bigger brand name skirts.”

Back to Michele and Carrie, and as I hoped; they already reached an agreement of Michele selling them through Carrie’s store. I presented Michele with a turban sweater and jeggings. Actually, she gets to pick out the ones she wants.”

I am soon out the door as I’m working hard at not sacrificing my time with family and friends. I have called over to The Credo Club for a light bite to eat and a chance to relax. Mom is already happy about the idea. What Mom hopefully doesn’t know is Heidi is flying in and is to meet us at the club. If all goes reasonably well she should be there by 9:00 p.m. easily.

It is nice to be greeted by Tony at the Club; he sees I’m dressed as Andrea he asks about dancing. “I have two nephews here, Michael and Lorenzo, and if Heidi gets here my son Alberto can be let off from working.” Leah and I both say we will let him know.

The entertainment tonight is elegant yet simple, a violin and piano.

Heidi is here by 8:50, she and Mom are joyfully surprised. I am delighted and while Heidi is thankful for my help in getting her home. She prefers me as her brother Andrew. Tony is soon over telling me that Jennifer and Terra had called to see if I was here. I called Terra and suggest they come by at ten. The kitchen was closing down for the night and come ten until closing it would be just the club and bar remaining open.

Our parents and others their age would remain but by and large, people would congregate in their own groups, however, they saw them. Michael, Lorenzo, and Al came over. Most of my dancing is with Terra. We accept dancing with Mike and Lorenz. This is when I like having older sisters, as Mom trusts me with them and I get to do things I might not otherwise.

I might be traveling around and involved more in business, but I am quite naive as a teenager and especially as Andrea. My sisters and friends like Terra are a security blanket for me. My attraction to Terra is still quite strong.It has been the challenge of studying and each of us need to work that has limited our seeing each other.

We’re going to Grandma Hollister’s for Thanksgiving, so I am up early to help my mother. She is showing me how she makes her pies. While pumpkin pie is easy enough, we’re also making a pecan and mincemeat pie. I can’t believe mom is putting a shot and a half of rum into the mince meant. Mom says in the baking of the pie that the rum alcohol is cooked off and only the flavor remains.

How I dress for Thanksgiving is hard to decide as Grandmother wants to see Andrea as her granddaughter. I know Heidi prefers seeing me today as Andrew. Heidi concedes, “If you’re going as Andrea that means you’re helping more with the dinner and the dishes. You’re not sitting down and enjoying the football games with the guys.”

I’m at least planning to wear slacks until Heidi catches me changing into them. “Oh no, you know Grams likes a family picture and us girls are to wear nice dresses or skirts.” Heidi then says, “Hey! Um, what’s this about you going to the High School game as Andrea? You weren’t a girl most of the school year or did you graduate as Andrea. Leah and I came back here a year early so we could graduate from here. If anyone should be going as girls it’s us two and you didn’t even ask if we’d go with you.”

I ask, “Well do you two want to take your little sister and go to the game together?” Leah says, “I’ll check with some friends and if they’re going I’m in.”

Heidi says, “I’m pretty sure I’ll have enough friends going. So if Leah goes, I’ll be going. I want to see if Ms. Miller tries to team you up with the cheerleaders.” I stare at my two sisters.

Heidi asks, “Mom, if they win and this boy comes over wanting to kiss our sister, should we let him?”

I say, “What’s this, should we let them? I’m sixteen I can decide for myself.”

Our Mom says, “I thought his Mom was wondering what others would think of him.”

Leah looks at me, “I agree that Andrea’s old enough to decide for herself. She has one business she runs with Mom and now has a Pub that she’s buying into. She should be able to handle a kiss, maybe even more.”

Gram Hollister is glad to see us, greeting us, Mom as well as Dan and his son Jay. She says to Jay, “You will have to work double-time for the Stephens-Johnson household. My son’s two boys should be here. Andrea, are you going to spend some time watching the football games? You know a growing share of those who watch are women.”

I do sneak to watch to see some of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. X-Press has two ads to be shown, hoping they’ll help Black Friday and Christmas sales. One of the ads is one of Jan Richards having me come out of a fashion page saying, “You can find something that fits your look online or in the store with X-Press Fashions.”

“I did not sign off on them using the shot of me in a skater dress.” Mom says, “But I did. If you’re wanting them to continue to guess if there’s a boy there. That should have them seeing Andrea, totally a girl.”

Leah says, “She wasn’t even wearing any forms. If she would grow a couple of inches and take some lessons. She could make a living as a model.”

To be continued…

Grams Hollister calls my name, Andrea, your other grandparents are here. Please go and help your Grandmother and Grandfather Stephens; they just drove up. They always bring more food than needed. I give Grandmother Stephens a hug and she feels the need to touch my hair and comment: “You must be spending more time as Andrea. I hear from neighbors that your clothes have become very popular. People expect me to know when they’re wearing your clothes.” She gives me a casserole to carry in. She carries in cranberry relish.

Cousin Sharon comes from behind us to hold the door. “Hi, Mrs. Stephens.” To me, she says, “It’s good to see you’re Andrea today.” Sharon and I are to peel the potatoes like usual. It is the first time we’re doing with as a girl.

Sharon says, “I am really surprised JC and X-Press don’t have you out working Black Friday. So can you go shopping with me early? Do you need to help your friend at her store tomorrow after you shop with me?”

Her two brothers Brent and Mason are, both older than Leah and have graduated from college. Neither one is close to Heather; they are now upset about me seeing me sometimes as Andrea. Nor do they go for the idea of Andrew designing women’s clothing. They may be in time for dinner, but unless they’re interested in a football game. They won’t stay long.

Uncle Nate Hollister still has a limp from the accident three years ago. His wife had since divorced him, remarried and moved away.

We were at the end of the meal when I received two calls that I had put off answering. The desserts are served. This time it is my Mom’s phone that rings and she answers it, as she walks away from the table. She’s back, yet still on the phone. “Andrea, its Mr. Tompkins calling. He insists you need to be at the Capitol Mall after you help Carrie open her store. He said if you got there before noon to the Mall, you could be to the game by its starting time.”

I moan to Mom. She says, “Tompkins says, you will also need to be doing promotions before Christmas and after the turn of New Year’s Day.” I quickly get on the phone to talk to him about changing his mind.

That is not what happens. He does say, “If your sisters get you to the mall and then go to the game. We will have a limousine ride for you to the game. We ask you start as Andrew in your hometown but show up at the Mall as Andrea. JC already told us how good of a change artist you can be.”

Two weeks before Christmas, you are going to be honored in New York City to be our Young Designer of the Year. They will have three young women modeling clothes for the holidays, winter and spring. We want to show off three of your hot looks for this spring as well as the current pieces we’re promoting.”

Sharon was close by, “That’s a bummer they’re insisting you work on Black-Friday, knowing you have a game. I thought you’re your own boss. It looks like your new contract isn’t so hot?”

“It’s a great contract, but it doesn’t save me from being held responsible. As good as sales have been, tomorrow and up to Christmas is all new to me. It wouldn’t surprise me to be within a mile of the game yet miss it.”

Sharon Hollister says, “Will you want a helper, I’d be willing to go?”

I say, “Sharon I’m going to start out as Andrew and have to change while I’m on the way to the Capitol Mall. I don’t think you’ll want to be with me for that.”

She says, “Silly, I’ve seen you as Andrew and now as Andrea. I hate to tell you but it’s not a big deal for me. I like shopping but I can do that most anytime.”

Mom is now with us, “Honey, I’m sorry to hear what they’re asking but I’ll be with you. We’ll do our best to get you to the game.” She asks, “Sharon, did I hear you’d be willing to help her? If you’d be willing and not too embarrassed Andrea could use your help. She tends to overextend herself and me too.”

Sharon cheers over the opportunity to go. I say, “Sharon, I am not fun to work for. You’d need to dress nicely including makeup, a skirt or dress, and your whole look. You’d need another change into nice clothes. I might also be seeing you change. Now, how uncomfortable will that be?”

It is eight in the evening and I’m with the other girls, redoing nails. Sharon and I have two outfits for tomorrow. I have a new skater dress with leggings for Sharon. She looks very good in skirts but usually doesn’t wear them except for today for Grandma’s pictures. The blue skater dress with the dominantly silver pattern of the leggings will draw a lot of attention. Our 4:30 wakeup time won’t be fun.

Dan drops us off at 6:30 am. at Carrie’s shop and stays long enough to carry in a display table and one box. The bank’s message board has my picture and information for Carrie’s and the Capitol Mall for Hillside fans.

Before 8:30, Carrie’s Niece Lee comes with an outfit comes to me, “Enough of Andrew, Carrie has too many requests for pictures with Andrea?”

I resist, “I know that Carrie wouldn’t insist on me changing now. It would be awkward.”

Lee says, “You’re right she wouldn’t. I’m asking as she deserves to be able to show you off.”

Lee’s right, the corporation doesn’t care about stores like Carrie’s. I close Carrie’s office door and strip off my clothes like a model. Lee’s there to help with makeup and hair. Working together I change clothes and change my appearance in just over seven minutes. It is one of my green handkerchief skirts with a white blouse and a red print vest. The white blouse could have been heaver to hide my bra and small breasts, but it’s not intentionally.

Girls from ten to women in their forties ask for my opinion and want to take a selfie with me. I see Ms. Jensen and her two young pre-teens. They’ve stood at a distance for over an hour. I know they’d like a picture with me, but they’re not well off for some reason. I have Mom select outfits for each. When she has them; I break from what I’m doing. The girls and their mom are turning away when I reach them.

“Amy and Ardis, I need your help?” Both turn as they know my voice; we’re friends. Ardis is very happy; Amy the older one is ready to cry. They are more than nice to me. It is an effort to find out that their mom, Bev Jensen was laid off work.

“I need you girls, to model these for me for pictures, please.” They’re nice enough to cooperate. I look to my Mom, “Bev, I need help with a job for my instate accounts.”

It has been my mom’s responsibility and will change her income some. Mom says nothing about herself, except telling Bev, “Monday can you come by our home around nine and I’ll share your responsibilities if you want the job?”

The girls are back showing off their outfits over white tights. I have each one on a table with me one at a time. We show off the outfits, and then I produce a holiday poncho and a traditional poncho for the other girl. They each start out with one of them and then is switched. “This is a great way to stay warm between stores or to the car, and yet take with you.”

I hadn’t thought of connecting the ponchos with shopping before and the holiday ponchos are from JC’s line. With that presentation I’m near the end of my time there. The girls have since learned their Mom has a good job. Now they get to learn they’re keeping their outfits.

I had not known, nor had my mother, but Bev was laid-off last summer.

I’m glad the back windows are darker; they allow me to change with a sense of privacy. “Nice,” says Heather, “I’m glad, you were already wearing your panties, Andrew. All I need do now is get to be with you as Andrew designing dresses.”

I have a cute half-slip that acts like a two-layer petticoat. The cherry pink skirt works with or without the girly suspenders over my white blouse. The green collar works with the suspenders to accent the outfit. I am heavier than usual with the makeup as the sale lights tend to bleach out my face.

Mom has a mix of Christmas songs, and popular music playing. Heather has taken a turn in helping to use a curling brush to frame my face with brushed up curls. Looking into a mirror I am impressed. Mom hands back to Heather a silver necklace with matching earrings. I have thirty minutes to polish, buff and dry my fingernails. Wow, how far I’ve come. The boy Andrew of fifth grade smiles from within. Last Thanksgiving he was not out.

I remember a Thanksgiving at Grams, when I got into the makeup she kept for my sisters and cousins to play with. Hurt playing outside with my older and bigger cousins Brent and Mason, I was allowed to lay down on Grandma’s bed. I loved the smell of her perfume. I saw Heather and my sisters and other girl cousins leaving Grams big walk-in closet.

Mom found me there almost an hour later. My attempt at making up my face that day was only beautiful to me. Today, I speak up, “Mom, am I as pretty as six years ago?” I see Mom’s eyes in the rearview mirror.

She says, “That young person was dreaming; you’re eyes seem fully alert. I do however see the resemblance.”

We’re driving into the city and we’re to a drive-up window without a long line. Chicken sandwiches will have to do, along with diet drinks. Two department stores and three specialty shops are carrying my clothing line. I see why Mom has me wearing this outfit. I thought I had chosen it. The promo-pictures do not have the suspenders. Walking in carrying my drink, I am already being recognized.

Jennifer Lach and Sarah James are the first faces I recognize, and Jenn’s already texting someone else. Mom gets a call from Heidi and Leah; we’re to start at Macy’s. They want me at a table; while I prefer to move around.

One girl says out-loud, “I heard Andrew was the one who was there at Hillside this morning. I was hoping to see him.”

I replied, “Macy’s and X-Press wanted me here as Andrea.” She is more than happy with a selfie of us. Mom’s taking pictures, while many girls prefer a selfie on their smartphones and tablets. Many friends are surprised the Carrie is comparable to Macy’s in carrying my line.

I do get to check on JC’s line and text back to her office my findings. There are items that were shipped missing from both our lines. My items that are displayed have had more of the inventory reloaded. I have not seen the volume of sales that one manager is telling me about. Several shoppers are surprised to find, ‘I’m a normal girl.’

I stand in the middle of five beautiful college students for more pictures. Heather is writing names and e-addresses to send pictures too. It is at X-Press Limited that the welcome has the imprint of the corporate family. It’s a very warm reception, I am there for a half hour, before circulating around to the other department store and shops carrying my line of clothing. I am back here again at 2:00 p.m. for the remainder of my time.

The crowd has started thinning out, but I’m attracting shoppers who were out earlier and back to see me. There are few that have not bought an item or two more. I sign the hems of many skirts and numerous dresses. It could become a problem for items brought back or exchange. It is 3:10 when X-Press thanks me for coming.

Leah left word which gate I should be entering by. The Limo ride is nice, but we’ll need to pick up Mom’s SUV after the game. We are down by four points by the time we arrive near half-time.

I get a text from Jenn, Terra’s with her and they are wanting me down near the cheerleaders. A drive-by, Hillside stalls at the ten-yard line and the field-goal attempt fails, ending the half. Mia and Kayla Scott, Matt’s sisters are soon over to me giving me hugs while chiding me for being so late. “Andrea, where have you been? You don’t have our school colors on!”

Mrs. Scott is soon with us, “Andrea, you look very cute. Someone said you were at the Mall to promote Christmas sales. It is nice that you are here now.”

Sharon, a cheerleader is next to her with one of my skater dresses in school colors. I ask, “Do you really want me to change into that?” She smiles, “And be with us along the sidelines, yes!” She takes me by the hand and I’m soon following her to a changing room. My only privacy is her turning her back. It is not much of a change though she suggests a pair of matching tights and a panty like the cheerleaders are wearing. She puts a thick lip-gloss on me and smiles. I receive a barrette of streamers in school colors. Luckily, I had changed into a pair of Sketchers on my way to the field.

I am among some fans allowed to welcome the team back on the field along with the cheerleaders. I find myself jumping and doing high kicks as the team comes running in. A number of the players acknowledge me being there. I think Matt saw me just as he went running by to the bench, but Matt is wearing a different number on his jersey.

Hillside it to receive the kick off in the second half. The kick-off is made to the opposite side of the field from where the look-alike is with Matt’s number. The kick is a bit shorter and Matt had back up to catch it. It is Matt’s speed that caught the other team by surprise. Matt was able to return the ball to the opponent’s side of the field. It took some eight plays before they were able to score a touchdown. With a 20-17 lead, both teams settle in to play tough the rest of the third quarter and into the fourth quarter. Hillside lost a fumble and their adversary was able to tie the score.

I can’t believe how, now as a girl, I am much more into the game. During a change of possession, the cheerleaders take turns doing cartwheels and summersaults. I am encouraged to take a turn. I know I can do a cartwheel, but as Andrea, I have not done one in public. Sharon gets behind me and pushes me out. I take to running ten steps and spring into the cartwheel. Fortunately, I land on my feet and jump up clapping my hands.

Hillside is moving the ball to our side of the field. We are close to the sideline when Johnny Atwood catches the ball and is knocked out of bounds. He runs into me and I go down holding onto him. Johnny gives me a kiss, asks if I’m okay and begins lifting me up and wiping me off. Officials say he needs to get back on the field.

I do hurt, but I’ll be okay. The crowd applauds and I look up to the big screen. It shows Johnny kissing me and heading back onto the field. I still have one camera in my face, a reporter asks my name.

I’m glad as the game is back underway. It is Johnny, not Matt, who scores the go-ahead touchdown. We greet them coming off the field after the extra point. I receive several hugs with groping hands embracing me. It is similar with most of the cheerleaders.

Ms. Miller asks if I’m okay, “I guess you are accepted as one of the girls.” I say, “A fashion runway is not that much different, except these guys have added weight and muscle.” Trying to make a comeback Lockard gambles and an interception costs them more points.

The final score does not tell how close and hard fought the game really was. Union won their game earlier and Union-Hillside will compete for the championship next week.

Matt is required to travel back with the team, I travel with his Mom and sisters to greet him there. While Matt is excited about their win and being in the championship game; he is upset with his own play. He expects me to swoon over him and act like a girlfriend, but I’m not. I am not willing to do what I think he wants.

We go to where many players are gathering with others from the school. Johnny Atwood comes over and plants a huge kiss one me. I liked the attention but feel more like a trophy than a friend. It hits me, Hillside is my hometown, but Hillside is no longer my school like it is for the others.

I blend in with the other fans; I check my smart phone for sales reports. Everything is preliminary but it looks fantastic to me. JC calls, “It looks very good, keep a good record this will be your baseline for future sales and years.”

X-Press indicates I need not worry, “You are not close to JC’s record years, so don’t get a swelled head. The two of you together are setting records for the company. There will be a gather in NYC Dec. 14, you need to be there.”

Gone are the niceties of asking if I can be there. JC says, “The honeymoon is over; in this world six months makes you a veteran of the business. They’ve moved from that to depending on you to get and do better. Don’t worry, when the cameras are on you will continue to be their young darling.”

I sleep in Saturday morning until 8:00 a.m., but then do get down to Carrie’s store as its small business Saturday. Leah and Mom are over to Plainfield and Corrinville for similar promotions. Leah is known to be part of my team here. Heidi is on a learning curve; she’ll take the new experience back with her in a new sense of confidence.

It is five o’clock when I go with Terra back to her place. I wanted to go home, freshen up and change. Terra says, “No, then you’ll want to go out and we won’t have time to ourselves.” We cuddle in front of a TV and I’m in Terra’s arms. With a blanket to give a little added privacy from others in and out of the TV room.

Terra slips a hand under by outfit to unhook my bra. While she cuddles me, I maneuver to pull my bra off and out. I am leaning back against Terra, in danger of falling asleep in her arms. She whispers in my ear. It’s all sweetness as she encourages me to unwind. Her hands glide over my back and the tension of the day are melting away.

I nuzzle near one of her breasts; it is the soft warmth that attracts me as I drift to sleep in her arms. It is 11:30 when she asks if I’m going home or staying. She hands me my phone which is buzzing. The texts asks, where I am and if I’m coming home.

I text back to Mom, “Sorry, I fell asleep in Terra’s arms.” I ask Terra, if it is alright to stay the night. I text back, “I’m staying at Terra’s. I should be home, mid-morning.” We nuzzle together under a pile of blankets. I was already out of most of my clothes.

Once in her bed I wake up enough to watch her get ready for bed. We took a half hour to enjoy the company of the other.

Mom and Dan are with me after classes on Monday and we go over to the Flowery Saddle Pub; we brought with us a new bar chair for me. An Officer Rachel was sent over to warn me that I was not to abuse my owner status to be drinking while I’m underage.

I ask Rachel if our customers are ever singled out by law enforcement. When she avoids answering, I simply say. “It needs to be a two way street. I will observe the drinking age and I serve notice that I expect law enforcement to respect our customers, not to seek them out for harassment.”

Rachel asks, “Is that supposed to be a veiled threat?”

“It is merely a statement that our clientele have rights and we advocate for them to be observed…”

Story to be continued…

I tried over and again to design for my appearance in New York City, but when I focus on one design another idea pops into my mind. Andrew’s at his college class, when Professor Cozier is back to annoying me. “I don’t know why you don’t take to wearing a clown costume.”

Part of me wants to open my shirt and say my breasts are not costume. I remind myself next week when I take exams and I won’t have Cozier as an instructor after that. What I’m learning from him is no longer worth the trouble and restless nights he causes me.

JC texts me after class when I’m at the Pub. She has a pink gown she’s designed and made up for me. It will be announced as something JC and I designed together. It is partially true since I can see glimpses of two of my designs partially in the gown. “Thank you so much, JC. I cannot believe the sales numbers we are racking up?”

JC says, “This is why you’re considered a good designer. Please realize how many people are now relying on you for their employment. Tompkins says you only have eighty percent of your summer designs signed off for. You know, you need to stay ahead of the production people.”

I say, “But I’m having trouble using the bold colors I’m planning for next summer while the holiday colors are all around me. Shorts and light fabrics are hard while it’s getting colder, not warmer.” JC reminds me these are only small problems that I need to learn to deal with. She says, “That will be a problem if you can’t stay three seasons ahead.”

Seemingly JC already knows some of my grades. She suggests I ask Megan Stuart to help me with math before my exams. It is now due to be Megan’s last semester at the high school as she’s mastered our science class that I’ve helped her with. She agrees to help me in exchange for her choice of outfits. I get three study sessions with her. My biggest problem is with misreading written problems. Each session I make progress and by exam time I am doing very well.

My Advanced Art and Design exam took the full two hours but I was sure that I did quite well.

I fly with Mom and JC Harper to New York City for a designers recognition show. I am wearing 4” heels, my gown is open in the front and I had almost three hours with a beautician. I was feeling great until Leah calls back with my grade from Dr. Cozier. My posted exam score is a C, with a B- for my final grade.

My entrance to the evening’s program includes red-carpet regalia; JC and I are walking in together. I am not used to so many cameras flashing in front of me with photographers calling me by name. I am lucky if I even recognize ten percent of them and I know far less. We will purchase more than a few of their pictures. A larger than life poster of four of my dresses and gowns are there for me to stand in front of. From my prom gown to a wedding gown, a fall outfit and my ballet designs, it touts me as coming… “A Long Way… Short Time”.

Here my double life as Andrew/Andrea is seen as a colorful side of being a designer.

Minutes prior to my name being called I get a text from Jean Claude Cozier. “You did excellent on your exam. You earned an A. Sorry but the early posting of grades was from the beginning of the semester. I hope when you are a full-time student that I will have you as a student again.”

During the evening three designers including myself are proclaimed to be rising stars. When I am announced as the premier rising star, I am overwhelmed by the ovation I receive. I am quickly up on my feet and my dainty handkerchief keeps my tears limited to watery eyes. I feel like a long experienced woman walking up the steps to the podium. “It has been a short time since by discovery by JC Harper, and she bringing me along as a designer. I have so much to learn as those of you who are veterans know. I have a list of people I thank.”

I also felt some eyes staring like daggers. It is not all nice and sweet in the fashion world.

John Tompkins had announced my new contract earlier in the day and does so again at a formal reception. Several men, with the youngest, eight years my senior escort me to the dance floor, as much for pictures as dancing. One model takes me from one as we swirl around the dance floor. She says, “This is so the men do not have all the fun of dancing with you.” Her kiss is passionate, not the usual air kiss.

I had already gone to Macy’s and will be going to Bloomingdales tomorrow. I want to go to Saks on Fifth Avenue but they do not carry any of my clothing line and only the upper tier of JC’s. Neither do many of the special women’s stores that mark the busier shopping areas.

It does cause me to develop an extra line of my clothes called Angie’s Silver Threads. It will include some of my more popular items. Now being made from a denser thread count and/or a higher quality fabric. Most will have a silver lining or a silver line along a hem or border of the item. It will include mostly long skirts or dresses. It will also include elegant blouses in red, white, black or silver.

I fly up to Boston with a round of greeting numerous retailers, before heading home. Wearing skirts there had the added problem of wind and cold chilling me to the bone. One day as Andrew would have been good, but it would have cost me a new wardrobe. An Aesthetician in Boston had me stop at her shop and took almost two hours giving me a grand make-over. I loaded up on some of her products, and I am already planning a return trip as I will forget more than half of what she’s showing me. She does have a website with tutorials.

Returning home, for now, it is back to my apartment as I want some hands-on experience in helping to run the Flowery Saddle. I have an engraved barstool that quickly becomes known to be mine. Marion Tuft our lawyer has checked and double checked as an owner I am okay to work behind the bar or to serve drinks. It is not a big deal nor will I be doing it much, but to be able to do it and learn is beneficial.

Mom and others say I’ve changed. That I appear more rested and more like Andrea is me. I go to the Pub as Andrew two days in a row, but find it hard to be content as Andrew.

I spend a day, before going home to Hillside, wrapping gifts. I wrapped a pair of leggings for my step-brother Jay; suggesting he try using them in place of long-johns. I included a fifty dollar Amazon gift card since it is likely to be seen as a gag gift.

Christmas sales are topping twenty-seven million; my percentage of sales will be close to a million and a half dollars if I’m figuring correctly. JC reminds me, expenses and taxes will be taken out first.

I am tempted to quit school but I am sure my mother won’t let me. I visit Dr. Paula Haverford at State Center High School. She had called me earlier, she informs me that I have only one full year of school remaining. She says, between my college classes and additional life learning credits I have jumped ahead of my expected graduation date.

“Dr. Haverford,” I say, “It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me that I’m already making a lot of money, yet educators make a lot less. Why does one really need education then?”

She says, “Andrea, you’re becoming a young business person. What would you do if everything turned dramatically around as fast as it came? Would you know if someone is mishandling your business or might it take years and bankruptcy before you knew?”

“Possibly as important as any else taught you in this building, might be whom to turn to as a helpful friend. Your hips are filling out, I hope you enjoy being the young woman to appear to be becoming.”

I haven’t told her that I’m taking any hormones, but my body is changing. I had not planned to change this quickly. Mom says she noticed the same thing when she saw me on television via her computer. My hips have grown less than an inch; it is more than my waist has shrunk.

It is the day before I head home for Christmas and I’m at the Pub on a slow night. Patience is a biker who frequents the pub, more often than not on slow nights. She likes talking to Terri Wells, but she’s not here tonight. She hands me a pair of leather pants as well as a leather coat asking me to ride with her. Tami tells me, “I can lock up if you decide to stay out.”

I’m not planning any such thing, but I do squeeze myself into Patience’s leathers. I hug her from behind and we’re off biking in the dark of night. Sooner than I thought possible we show up at my apartment in State Center. I welcome her in as I’m needing to warm up. Patience does not have any special design on me, but she does like becoming a special friend. She brought in an unopened bottle that we put a good dent it. We’re affectionate, but when I wake in the middle of the night we’re in separate beds.

I was checking on her to see if she’s still there when she lifts a sheet and welcomes me in. Again it is not a sexual innuendo, but a warm friendship. She whispers, “I don’t particularly like you male appendage.” She does enjoy our sweet kisses and hands as she keeps me warm.

We shower early and get back to the Pub so I can retrieve my car.

Before I could get away from the apartments Tanya Jones in 1-C comes to my apartment asking, “After the holiday break would you help me to feminize my boyfriend Chuck?” They are both college students and she has complained to Leah and me before that he doesn’t know how to be gentle with a woman.

I only agree to talk about the possibility after the holiday.

I am on the road soon enough to make my Hillside home by noon. I stop at a chain hardware store in town that is owned locally. Allen knows what my step-dad has in wood-working equipment and what he’s been looking at. A lathe is an extra he always wanted but hasn’t bought. I buy the better of the two models I look at. He, my mom and I will coordinate its delivery early Christmas Eve when Dad should be uptown for coffee.

I tell my Mom when I get home what I did. She reminds me that she had transferred more than enough funds into the account to cover it. I knew I already had a sufficient balance to cover it. Mom, however, holds me accountable for the times I do splurge like this. My apartments are now well over half paid for, anticipating my bonus. Present rent payments will cover my payments and the property tax I owe twice a year from here out.

I change into one of Andrew’s outfits and with my makeup mostly off I go to Carrie’s to say hello. Several people old enough to know say I look nice with my ‘Boy George’ look. Students my age think it is a new look and they have mixed feelings. Gwen says, “If you wanted to look like a boyish girl look, why not come as Andrew; you’d look girlish enough?”

Carrie and I sit back in a corner near an extra register. Carrie gives me a wrapped gift saying, “You need to wait until Christmas. I’m hoping you might wear it for New Year’s Eve and stop over to my celebration at my home.”

Feeling the weight to the gift, I’m already suspecting it is a complete outfit including extras like panties and bra; maybe even shoes. Mr. Tompkins encouraged me to give her, Carrie, an open ticket to fly to NYC to visit X-Press there. They would cover two nights of her stay with meals.

The business world is now unreal to me. Terra finds me at the store and when I get up to give her my seat; she pulls me onto her lap. She is very happy about my news that I have only a year of high school to go.

I quickly tire of the Boy George look; taking off my hat and taking some of Terra’s makeup to change my look. Terra unbuttons my shirt as she takes me to a dressing room with a long sweater dress in her hands. I ask for a pair of leggings as I pull the sweater dress over me and smooth it out.

Terra uses a mascara stick and lip gloss to complete a simple change of looks.

A friend of my mom saw me before and after and she jokes about how easily Andrew changes over. She says, “I knew you when you were a little girl before you moved away. Your Mom showed me pictures of when you’d get into your sisters’ clothes even then. I saved one of those pictures and I recently got it out, I would appreciate it if you came over and signed it for me. It would probably be worth a pretty penny if I were willing to sell it.”

Carrie encourages her to save as it is likely to become more valuable. Carrie does ask if she can copy it to blow up as a poster sometime.

Christmas Eve, I went back into my room to find a vanity and chair had been moved into my room. It is very girly to the liking of Andrea. I quickly call some friends and share my news. My sister Heidi had already shared a picture with Jenn.

We went to the late night candlelight service, ending at midnight, candles and singing Silent Night. I know it is not about fashions, but I feel joyful wearing a new outfit like my sisters usually do. Mom has a deep red coat with white trim. It’s a good night to wear the 3” heel boots as the snow is slushy.

I’m upset a little, Mom scheduled an appointment for me with her GYN doctor for Wednesday.
Once there, Tina, a classmate at Hillside comes over to greet me after I checked in with the receptionist. It is different for me in filling out their forms as they expect everyone to be female. Tina laughs at my frustration, “Can’t you check female? You’re coming as one today. Would you like me to tell you about the exams we get?” I giggle with her nurse Bonnie takes Tina and another nurse takes me in for our appointments.

I think my 141 pounds is good, but Tina called back to me saying she weighed 126. She says, “It must be your excess baggage.” It provided a short giggle, and me saying, “Wishful thinking.”

I get the younger and newer doctor, though Mom reminds me younger is in her early 30s and that she has been in this clinic for four years. She gives extra attention to my testicles saying there is a need to watch out for testicular cancer. She shows me how to examine them as well as my breasts once a month. She gives me a reminder to go into my purse to remind me to make a monthly exam of myself.

“Andrea, I am not telling you what to do, but there is an added risk from you trying to live in both worlds. You’d be able to convincingly dress as Andrew, without anyone needing to know you’ve become a girl.”

She continues, “I know there are doctors in the Caribbean, Mexico, and Thailand that could do the operations, but you run a risk there. There is a doctor we recommend in Wisconsin who would use your penis to rebuild a functioning vagina.”

I ask, “Does my Mom know what you are suggesting to me?” She smiles saying, “Before I can bring her into the discussion; I’d need your permission. That is why I am bringing it up in private. Would you like me to call her in and schedule another appointment?”

I thought it would have been a simple, “No!” But I say, “Why don’t I talk with her and get back to you.” When I go back out I go to the receptionist desk and waived my Mom to come over. I felt I was giving in to the inevitable. Mom could we come back in next Tuesday Dr. Monica Triggs would like to talk with us.”

Mom is surprised, though I do not think completely. During our ride home, she asks if I would seriously consider becoming a girl permanently. I say, “I would still be able to be Andrew like I can be Andrea now. I am needing to check my breasts and my testes now anyway.”

I ask her, “Please don’t tell anyone that I’m considering this. I will talk to Leah and maybe JC if and when I see her face to face.”

It is New Year’s Eve and my outfit from Carrie was very complete with lace stockings, not pantyhose. The bra fits nicely, lifting my breasts and having delicate pads to help my appearance. The sweater dress could have had leggings instead of the stockings, but I did not choose to go that way. Terra had picked me up to drive me over to Carrie’s.

I do help myself to a berry wine cooler and no one stops me. When I approach Carrie I turn around once and thank her for her good taste and generosity. The leather straps of my fashion boots hold their shape fitting around my ankles. It is important to keep my legs closed and make sure my dress stays underneath me as I gently sit on a bar stool.

Once I help myself to a second cooler, Terra decides this is where we will ring in the New Year. Leah came here by 11:30 though I had not thought she was coming. JC had rung into my phone as well as Carrie’s and my Mom’s. She is too young to be my second mom, but I see her as such anyway.

I had planned to stay out until the morning, but my Mom insists I am to come home. Terra, Leah, and others decide they are better in continuing out without me.

Tuesday morning I am packed to return to State Center and school, but we go to see Dr. Monica Triggs before leaving town…

Story to continue…

I cannot believe it is already the following week and we’re back to see Dr. Monica before I’m going back to school. ‘How does she even know what to visit with me about?’ Mom and I are again waiting in the office area to be called back. Mom’s friend Jackie is in for a routine visit. Jackie says, “I’m not sure I would have brought this daughter along for my visit. No offense Andrea, you have become quite the girl, but not this much.”

When the nurse calls me, “Andrea Stephens;” Jackie became quite surprised and me very embarrassed. We are escorted to Dr. Triggs office and not an examining room. I do not know why, but I am sitting up on the edge of my seat with my legs squeezing tightly together. Mom notices it too saying, “Relax young woman your identity is nicely in place.” We both begin to giggle as Dr. Triggs comes into the office is her head nurse.

Monica asks, “I appear to have come in at an opportune time. Can you share what is so funny?”
I look at her nurse and back to Monica.

I say, “Mom’s friend Jackie is in the waiting room and thought I was a strange daughter to come with my mother to see a gynecologist. Then another nurse came out and called my name.”

The Doctor and I had greeted each other and I am back sitting down like I was before. Dr. Monica says, “I see what you’re talking about. Usually, when I’ve seen you, you are a more relaxed young woman. And you are very much a young woman at those times. If you don’t mind my saying; it is Andrew that I see having to reinforce he’s a guy.”

I am a bit offended about being Andrew. I say, “That is my quandary I am Andrew. I don’t think physical changes will alter that and I don’t want it too.”

Dr. Monica calmly says, “But you’re being here, do I take that as a sign that you’re not only open to the changes suggested; you’re seriously seeking to be Andrea.”

I say, “You mentioned that surgery could give me a vagina. Would that surgery include taking my testicles, allowing my estrogen become dominate allowing my breasts to grow?” I feel dumb even having said that.

Dr. Monica says, “That is a good question, it shows you’ve done some reading. I know you might feel awkward in asking some of these questions. Please remember you are among friends, people who care about you.” Monica goes on and explains much that I was wondering about. She knows of a doctor in a state close by. He and his staff have an excellent reputation for being professionally among the best. But it is in guiding a woman through the process that their reputation exceeds most others.”

“We called to his office about getting you an appointment. Most appointments are out to the latter half of the summer. They did have a cancellation during your spring break. You would actually be there longer than your break, but it would allow you to heal and be fully Andrea sooner. Then this summer you could have the fun of a normal teenage girl.”

“Your psychiatrist at North State and another doctor will have to approve you for the surgery and clarify the gender change being proper for you. This cannot be just a warm feeling or for your business. I am not trying to upset you, but as your doctor, I look out for your full well being.”

I am not used to a woman doctor being so blunt. Though Dr. Saga Dotter was when we first met.

Mom says, “While it is generally unheard of Mr. Tompkins assured me they could gain her approval.

Dr. Triggs says, “If there was any question to the propriety other than age; it wouldn’t be allowed. It could be put off until late summer or fall, but I’m sure you are the proper patient for such a surgery, and the exception it would take. I believe you’re holding onto Andrew more like a warm feeling than the other way around.”

I say, “That is hard for me to admit. I just don’t understand how you knew it. I’ve been holding onto Andrew. I’m best as a designer as Andrew.”

Nurse Rider asks for permission to say something. Monica says, “If it is helpful by all means.”

Ms, Rider says, “I’ve been to Carrie’s shop around Thanksgiving and before Christmas. I’ve seen Andrea with other customers and her working with them. I don’t think any longer than those two images of Andrew and Andrea are that different. Everything seems integrated into Andrea. It seems Andrew is the one limited in carrying the full person of whom she is.”

Monica asks my mom and me if that is true. I say, “I just don’t feel it is fair, I have been seen as Andrew for so long.”

Dr. Triggs asks, “Mom was it you or one of her sisters that knew she’s snuck off and role played as Andrea years ago?”

Mom says, “Leah worried that she had caused him into being Andrea. But I know that is not so, I can remember back to when she was three. Leah thought it started when Andrew was eight and Leah bought her first bra. Andrew would take his white shirts even then and tie the bottom in a knot to look like his sisters.” My husband and I even then thought Andrew would grow out of pretending to be a girl then.

More than once when I confronted Andrew about what he was doing. He would deny wanting to be a girl. He’d even get in fights with girls his age when they tried to accept him playing with them.

We were Traveling back to State Center and I told my mother, “I don’t ever remember you and Dad confronting me about my trying to be a girl?”

She says, “The last time I remember was a week before your father died. I had an appointment set up for you to see someone. Edward thought so highly of you; it took a lot for him, anytime he agreed we should see someone about you. You had your close friendship with Jenny, and once she was helping you to dress up for Halloween. You had asked for her help, but when she showed you how good you looked. You got angry and tore the nice blouse she let you wear. Your father even had you sit on a chair in the corner until you apologized. But Jenny went home before you apologized. That was when your father even threatened to set up the appointment.

“I put it off until after the funeral and by then you seemed to give up you being a girl. It wasn’t until last year that I understood from Leah it had never really stopped.”

“Mom, I kind of apologized to Jenny before we moved back here, but I’d never admitted anything. I wonder if she understands that Andrea of Angie’s Threads is her friend. Do you have the Connors contact information? I don’t think she’d ever imagined I was really a girl.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Mom says. We were fifteen minutes from the apartment when we decided to stop and eat. Mom searched her contact list and gave me the last phone number she had for Jenny. I was hesitant to call, exhausting several excuses. The last being a two hour time difference. It was 6:30 p.m. our time which meant she should be out of school. Even any practice she might have should be done. We weren’t sure if I called their house or her cell phone or if it was still a current number.

I called and was ready to hang up after the third ring, but someone answered. I couldn’t tell if it was Jenny or her Mom or? I said, “Hi you probably don’t remember me my name is now Andrea Stephens you knew me as Andrew…”

There’s a scream at the other end, “Andrea! I can’t believe you are calling me. It is you? You are the one who designs the clothes, isn’t it?” She says, “You never mention having lived here. I heard Heidi came back here to go to college but I never was able to contact her.”

I said, “You should have searched our contacts in California; she should be listed there. But then again I should have asked you if you want to be my representative in the San Anselmo area or at least your school?”

The waitress asks for my order. That causes Jenny to say, “If you’re eating, I should call you later.

I said, “I need to tell you to thank you first as well as apologize. I have more to tell you but later.”

She says, “Is it why you sound so girly?” She pauses and then hangs up on me.

“Mom, I think she’s guessed.” Mom says, “You look like you found a long lost friend?”

“I hope so Mom. I think she graduates this year. Do you think we could go out for her graduation if she wouldn’t mind?”

Mom’s hand reaches over to me and we are having a mother/daughter time. It is somehow new to me. Our order comes and I’m hungry but I am too distracted to eat much. The waitress feels bad, though I tell her the food and service is fine. She says, “I’m afraid that I didn’t do something right that upset you?”

Mother tells her, “Angie’s not like that. She just had wonderful news and is too happy to eat, I guess.”

The woman says, “I hear famous people can be upset and complain. I cannot afford to lose my job. I’d rather pay for your meal than you be upset.”

I say, “Not needed, but if you have brownie sundaes I would enjoy one. You could give me a container to take this food home. I will probably be hungry when I get home.”

The waitress gets my brownie sundae with vanilla ice cream and hot fudge and whip cream. She puts my dinner in a container when I’m done; Mom has finished her dinner as well. We leave a nice tip and only after we pay our bill with no complaints does she relax and smile at us.

We are back at my apartments and I finally remember to call Jenny back. It is near her supper time, but she won’t let me hang up. Jenny says, “So tell me, was it really your attention deficit or your being moody and spoiled that got you into trouble.”

Mom hearing Jenny’s statement says, “It never came to mind to relate it to you being seen by someone as being a girl and you were in denial?”

I plug my ear to tune Mom out. Jenny and I talk for over an hour. I had apologized three times for how I treated her. Jenny finally says, “Enough with the apologies and talking around things. So what is your good news?”

I say, “I thought you guessed. I talked with a doctor about becoming physically a girl to match how I see me. I want you to promise not to tell anyone at this time. If it happens I want to tell people after I’ve had the surgery and I’m healed up.”

Jenny says, “That is not fair; you can’t tell me and then ask me not to tell anyone afterward.”

I say, “Would you mind if we came out to your high school graduation?” I tell her I will graduate next December.

Jenny says, “Are you going on to college or will you just go full-time into your business? If you’re going to college, I’d be like to come there, if the university is good but not too big. I can go to Chico State or the University of San Francisco, but I wouldn’t mind being close to you if we’re still friends.”

I say, “JC Harper says I should get my education and understand how my business operates.”

Jenny says, “You really know JC Harper and others in the dress business. I thought that was just name dropping. How many of the clothing items in your line have you personally designed?”

I huff over the phone, “You mean, you don’t think I actually design my clothes. Some are simple changes from some I originally designed. I had five girls in my advanced art class and I originally drew dresses or gowns for the five of them. Drawing them wasn’t a big deal, but they thought otherwise. Working at Carrie’s and in Ms. Miller’s class was where I learned to actually design them. There was a lot to learn but like my prom gown, things came together bit by bit. It was more complicated than I originally understood. As Ms. Miller and Carrie told me, about different fabrics and I saw the colors and patterns and textures of the fabrics things came together. I was denying I really was doing it for myself.”

Jenny says, “I wish we were together right now. I would love to cuddle you in my arms. My breasts have grown and it would be nice to hold you like I use to. I dreamed you and I would be girlfriends or you as my boyfriend. I’m just glad you remember me. It probably hurts to think back to then. I don’t know if I want to become close friends to lose you again.”

I say, “Weren’t you the one who told me friendship is like a butterfly. If you release it and it comes back it’s yours. If it doesn’t come back it never was.”

Jenny says, “I thought it was the letting go of a bird, but the same thing I guess.”

I say, “I have to be honest I have a girlfriend two years older than me. She’s the one who invited me to the prom. I don’t think it will last. Except for her Jennifer and friends from our class I don’t think I relate very well to any of her friends.”

“I’d love being your friend again. I’m not sure if I’m only dreaming but I think I could. No, I know I love you, I think you’re too beautiful for me and I know you want children.”

Jenny says, “Won’t they freeze some of your sperm if and before they would operate?”

I am getting too excited on my end of the phone. My mother finally takes the phone, “Jenny, I am not sure what you two have been talking about, but the girl at this end is getting overwhelmed with emotion. I think she has not gotten used to all the feelings and emotions that arise in her as a girl.” Mom gives her my personal email address and the website I frequent most. Mom told me later Jenny cares a lot about me and hopes I will communicate back to her sometime.

It took a warm bubble bath and with a good night’s sleep, I was back to myself. My mother stays with me until Saturday morning. We even went to the Flowery Saddle Pub Friday, evening after we attended the girls’ basketball game. Our School is reasonably good at sports and most extracurricular events. I like their music and theater programs the best. I am good enough to sing in the girls’ chorus and even in a quartet, but that’s the furthest that goes.

I am hoping Mom didn’t tell anyone at school or the pub that my birthday was coming up in three weeks. Oops, I forgot that would be Andrew’s, Andrea’s is noted for two weeks after that. That somehow got on my FB and website accounts but no year or age stated.

It’s the first time Terri Wells announces that I’m a part owner. Many customers do not associate me with designing clothes and Angie’s Threads. And I resist doing that business there. I selected my outfit and my makeup well so I could easily enough pass for 20. That was not all good as several people tried to hit on me. I was glad my mother’s around for support. But I’m also glad she trusts me to handle things like that alone if I could.

Thursday night I did contact Tanya Jones in 1-C, she is across and down the hall for Leah, on the floor below me. She had contacted me before I left for home and Christmas. Her request to help feminize her boyfriend Chuck made a little more sense because of something Chuck had said to me earlier in the fall. They are both thirty-something. He bumped into me once when I was being Andrea. I thought he was being a bit of a creep saying, “A guy can’t make a convincing girl. I don’t know where Andrew is when Andrea’s around, but you’re not him.”

I simply told him, “I’m not worried about proving anything to you.”

I’m now wondering if Chuck was trying to dare me in some immature way. Now I was going to clarify things with Tanya. I was half sure Chuck was with her. Mom and Leah are both on my speed dial and knew where I’d be. I knocked and I could hear Chuck talking by the door. “It’s her, did you mention anything?”

The door soon opens up and I ask, “Tanya did you want to talk to me?”

She comes and greets me and says, “I thought we might visit alone first.”

I said, “You’re welcome to come up to my apartment if you’d prefer. But I thought maybe you’d want the three of us talking?”

She asks me to be seated, saying, “Chuck is guy enough and we have a great relationship. But he’s caught up with this image that a guy like Andrew could be a good looking girl like you? I even joked once with him before we knew about you that he’d make a good looking woman.”

Tanya says, “I was wondering with your image and your clothing line if you or your website ever heard from people wanting to go there?”

I said, “I never personally respond to any of those inquiries. Can I ask you or Chuck if he is serious, does he see himself casually wondering if or sees himself as a crossdresser or transgendered?”

Tanya starts to speak, looks at Chuck and begins again. “I was hoping you’d tell him about yourself and Andrew.”

“I’m sorry, but your question to me was about him. I’d be open to talking about if a guy could dress and look good as a woman? A guy would need to know what girls and women come to know. You better be comfortable being you. If a guy would like to look like a girl. I think the only way of knowing is trying and see the results for oneself. I guess you could find a computer program you could download and work with your image?”

I tell customers what I think would look good on them. I guess I could tell Chuck the same if he’s serious. But I’d, for one thing, want to make sure he isn’t being pressured to do anything.”

I became quiet so that it would be up to one of them to respond. I’m pretty sure by some little indications I saw, someone had worked on his eyebrows and I could tell his fingernails were very well taken care of, even shaped more than a guy’s nails.

I was beginning to stand up, as I said, “Well if you don’t have anything to say I will be going.”

I was standing and turning when Tanya said. “I’m sure he’d like to know what he might look good in.”

“I think, I’d need to hear him say that. He’d need not to worry about being shy or embarrassed with me. I think he’s at the point where he needs to speak up?” I can tell he’s wanting to say something but worried. I say, “Between Tanya and each of us having a mom, two of the people closest and dearest to you are women in a guy’s life. Looking up to them is not a hard stretch.”

He says, “You’re serious, you wouldn’t think it crazy in seeing myself as a girl?”

“I can tell you if you’d do it here, there is not a better safer place to try it.” I turn to Tanya, “Are you good at surfing websites? If you two would go to one of my sites and note some outfits or dresses you like. I could give you my opinion and possibly some discounts… You don’t even need to limit it to my pages. I’d be open to helping with my opinion.”

“Please know, neither my sister nor my mother will know we’ve talked about this from me.” I reached out my hand in saying good-bye. I was not surprised that Tanya gave me a hug as she said good-bye. I was surprised my Chuck’s watery eyes and shaken voice as he hugs me and says, “Thanks, I think.”

Come Friday morning, my Mom reminds me I have an appointment with Dr. Saga Dotter right after school. Dr. Saga asks me to sign a release to communicate with Dr. Triggs. She has a way of turning my questions into my sharing more information and my embracing myself as Andrea. She says, “While I don’t want to be rushing you to change; I am glad and open to you initiating seeing yourself as Andrea.”

I say, “I find myself more and more naturally being Andrea. I feel like when I am being Andrea and even when I’m not that I’m a woman and that one part of my body is not me. I know I’ve been in denial about it since I can remember.”

Dr. Saga suggests, that I begin and continuously live as Angie and not just as the professional designer. “If you go to school or come home and relax that you should be living as a teenage girl. You might want times to live as Andrew. I ask you note such times and your feelings about that in a daily journal. But I ask that you for now limit your living to your gender identity of being Andrea.”

I had been doing that since before I returned to State Center and school. Megan Stuart had come over to see me after school. Says she’s noticed a difference, mostly in my just being more relaxed. She says, “You’re like me, we have a lot of experiences for girls our age. Yet inside we’re teenage girls and when I find myself living like some girl who is older and it overwhelms. You know you are a girl, but I think if you have your body changed. There will be changes in being you that will be new, no matter how much we talk about it before.”

“It’s like me knowing some math or science theories and knowledge in my head, but it isn’t yet real for me as a thirteen-year-old girl.”

I had thought of Megan as being fifteen though I suspected she could be fourteen. But thirteen and ready to be a student at the University full-time. I say, “I cannot believe you’re already in college but are still only 13. My mother would be okay us doing things together, but I don’t know if she would have allowed me to date you, knowing you’re thirteen.”

Story to continue…

Come late Saturday morning, I am designing a sundress; when I receive a call on my tablet from my old friend Jenny Connors. We are seeing each other on our tablets and she begins, “Omg, you are fantastic. I can’t believe how attractive you are as a girl. I thought you said, you haven’t fully transitioned. Please start from the beginning and bring me up to date! I thought you or someone would have decided being a girl wasn’t for you; once the responsibility fell to you. I spoiled you, doing much what it takes to be a girl.”

Jenny is the one who is gorgeous. I know I look very good as a girl that’s mostly mom’s genes. She is correct that she helped me. I got a lot of pampering for little work on my part.

“Jenny, I feel so guilty about how I treated you. When I stopped being your friend; I was afraid you’d expose me and I’d be seen as a creep at school. I was afraid when you told everyone would be laughing at me. I stuffed everything deep down inside of me and thought I was safe. I used art and music to be creative and get the release I found as a girl.

“I was glad when Dan Johnson came out to California and encouraged my mom to come back here. I didn’t expect them to marry. But he’s become more of a dad then my dad was in accepting me. First, he didn’t know more than I was different, not like most guys.”

“When I started to school here I didn’t register for classes when I was supposed to. Most art classes were already too full. I took Advanced Art. The Art teacher told me to my face that he didn’t want me that it was more than I could handle. That was like a slap or dare; I wasn’t going to give him any satisfaction.

He gave us a yearlong assignment to make an outfit: a fancy dress or a gown or a suit or something. I wasn’t really listening but drawing ideas. I didn’t hear that I would need to wear it. Well, the last time I wore a monkey suit was for my Dad’s funeral. There’s nothing creative in designing a suit.

”I even got a job at Carrie’s Towne Shoppe here to learn what I needed to know. I had drawn five dresses and gowns for five girls in my class. They were impressed and I liked that. One of them gave me ideas relating to a girl who might wear my gown. She was relating it to me. I had a girl Sharon I knew similar in height and possible dress sizes. I thought it would be great if I could, kind of live through Sharon or some other girl who would wear it. I was like eight weeks into designing it and liking what I learned at the store and in sewing things in the Family Life class. That’s when the girls kind of got it through my head that I missed something in the assignment. I figured I could use my attention deficit as an excuse if I continued. It would have been a way of satisfying for Mr. Murphy if I dropped out or acknowledged my mistake.”

Jenny says, “I should say, I told you so. You were just digging yourself a deeper hole. You didn’t get out of it this time, did you?” She asks, “When did you start realizing you’d be wearing the gown? I’ve seen it on your website and it is a beautiful gown and so unique. I would probably wear it.”

I’m not fully hearing her, I say, “The girls in the class, who were juniors and seniors thought it was in February; that realized it was for me. But it wasn’t; my parents and I began asking for an exception in March. The more stubborn Mr. Murphy got, the more I was set on making him back down.

“I had gotten Sharon to agree to model it for the Spring Art Festival. But I started to realize, I’d have to wear it if nothing changed. But even that would not have been enough. I needed to wear it to the prom or some special event. That was when Terra Hobbs, a senior in the class, invited me to the prom as her date. I did have two boys who asked to take me, but I wasn’t ready for that.”

“I had enough makeup and my hair done with an added hair extensions for the Spring Festival that Murphy had not recognized me. He had already decided to fail me. When I let him know I modeled the dress and had a date to the prom, he was very upset.”

Jenny asks, “So did she pick your cherry; spoil your virginity?” I forgot how direct and crude Jenny felt she could be with me.”

I didn’t mean to tell Jenny that I made out with Terra once as two women. But Jenny says, “If I ever get to pounce on you, I could go for that.”

I change the subject and while we’re still on the computer, I do the preliminaries so she can be a sales associate in San Anselmo. I will allow Mara Williams to handle all the details the coming week.

Vee Holmes and Mara are now my managers of operations for Andrea’s Threads. I give Jenny enough information on North State University that she can look into it as a college possibility. She’s tickled that my mom and I would consider coming there during spring break or her graduation. I did not let her know we might be there for both as well as to see Heidi and do some work to promote my lines of clothing.

Most of the weekend is spent reading for the new semester and designing clothes. I thought it would be hard and less productive, pressing myself to design more outfits and dresses. I spent six solid hours on Saturday and another seven hours on Sunday. Doing three designs for my new high-end fashions are a joy as I have bolts of cloth handy. The larger thread count works differently. One of the designs is a replica of my prom dress with enough differences that make it unrecognizable as a copy. I am sure Vee Holmes my chief designer will recognize it. She will be the one to prepare it for immediate production, that’s if she thinks it is as good as I do.

I have a new sundress that is airy as it uses a lot of lace designed to accent the floral print underneath it. I sketch three designs for swimsuits. This is a new venue for me and it will be the first time Vee and me officially a partner in designing a line of beach apparel, Andrea’s V Threads. JC warns me giving Vee credit could lead to Vee making a name and going out on her own. My hope and understanding with Vee are that it holds her to continue to work with me at least seven more years.

I begin reading Louise Erdrich’s "The Plague of Doves" for my Present Day Literature class. I am well into the book; finding it an intriguing read. I am bewildered as she is well acclaimed as a writer including her novels. But she does not receive the notoriety that others get. I find myself pleased to be a woman reading her story. It is like our spirits connect through her writing.

I am taking a business class at State Center and an accounting class at North State University. I need to take American History as a state requirement. Miss Dobbs will be my Art instructor, she has me doing Design as Art. It is a class limited to twelve students, an invitation-only focused study. I have women’s health as well as continue with my math class. I am starting to feel like I belong as I have a group of friends.

Working more with Vee Dorset and Maria Williams, I feel more like I have my staff. Vee is less and less clarifying things with JC and her production staff. Vee really knows the business; like with the sundress and the lace. My choice of thread would make it too heavy. Together we choose something that will keep its color, shape, and show as I want. Nevertheless, it is light and airy like a sundress to be. During the week and the weekend, Vee and I work together a lot. Vee compliments my ideas and pushes me until we are putting out enough choices that we can claim a good size niche of that market.

We were served notice by the X-Press Inc. that it better work. Pushing ten sundresses into production will cost and will require women and teens to buy into my designs if it’s to pay-off. Three of the ten will be in my upper tier of clothing, Angie’s Silver Threads. We even push our production schedule to allow four of the dresses to be ready early this spring. We’ll be missing some early spring fashion shows, but we prefer to introduce our new items with little time for copycats to get out.

With school, designing and traveling to Atlanta and St. Louis, January and half of February move quickly and fairly smoothly. Someone from X-Press Inc. decided not to use the thread we acquired for one of our dresses. Fortunately, we caught it early and it showed the value of Vee’s expertise. The cost of the change became a corporate expense and not ours.

Come the first of February, we’re entering the market of prom and formal dresses. I had used my prom gown and my original drawings for Terra’s gown and Jennifer’s dress as inspiration. I am gaining an appreciation of the expectations of pregnant women. I get tense and irritable as the release dates for new items draws near. Unfortunately, it will take another few weeks and early sales to know how each will do.

My online fashion design class with Carrie Druthers and Hillside goes well. They were going to limit the class to twelve, but several designers wanted in. Between what they offered and it meant to be noticed it was too much to turn them away. I was impressed with how Carrie held her own and truly lead the class. Several things Carrie pointed out to me last year, were new concepts not only to high school students but two of the professionals.

With our success continuing, we’re able to gain better places in stores placing of our dresses. Vee and Maria were out promoting on the east coast, and Tamara Robbins and her brother Lee in the Chicago/the upper Midwest region; partnered with me in promoting our lines.

Tamara having gone down three dress sizes becomes both an invaluable spokesperson and a model especially of my prom and formal line.

I suggested to Janice Richards to develop two advertisements using Tamara. She asked Vee, “Where did you come up with using Tamara Robbins? She’s absolutely the right person and it worked so well.”

Vee complimented me, “Andrea is more than a designer. She got Tamara to sell and represent us last fall. She pushed Tamara as well as Maria and myself to get out into our areas promoting our fashion lines. Maria, as well as Tamara, thought Angie had lost her senses in using us and then Tamara with you. But I think it is part of her genius in seeing possibilities others often miss. I agree Tamara’s image will resonate with our buyers.”

Janice says, “I am sure it will. I tested my first advertisement here and we only got good feedback. A few people were frustrated they had to wait to buy the gowns. That was their only complaint.”

It is early February before I accept another date with a guy. It’s with Matt Scott and has me going to Hillside’s winter formal. I wore a rendition of the dress I drew up for Linda Jones last year. I had to redraw it for me as well as design and layout the dress pattern. I got out my sewing machine put it together; shaping and pressing it. I try to design and make something at least every three months, to stay in practice. I do it more often because I like it.

One thing I like in going back to Hillside is that I’m easily accepted as Andrea being me. Younger girls have begun calling me Angie more and more.

I know Matt is excited to hold me close as I can feel him poking me though it’s not intended. I am just another girl at the dance. It is funny and Jennifer takes me into the women’s room so we can talk away from the guys. Jenn says, “I just selected today the dress I’m wearing to the prom. It’s one of yours and it looks like it was made for me.”

I ask, “Are you talking about the short petite dress? What color did you pick?” I giggle as she answers, “You’ve selected the dress I drew up for you last year. I was going to give you one.”

Jennifer says, “I wondered about that when it kept my attention. I’m glad I bought it. It would feel strange wearing a dress someone gave me for my prom. I would like sometime after the prom if we could go to the Credo Club and dance the night away.”

“Jennifer, how serious are you with Mark?”

“He’s fun to be with, maybe if we meet up again after college.”

We have a great time and it’s pleasurable to be part of a Valentine’s Day celebration.

I’m hearing that since I’ve only been Andrea since Christmas friends and family see being Angela as a decision that has already been made. I shouldn’t have spoken to anyone about my pending surgery. I am back to see Dr. Triggs my GYN doctor, who introduces me to Dr. Haley Pierce, the surgeon who will be doing my surgery in Chicago. We first meet Dr. Haley via an internet hook up and then days later in Chicago. She and Dr. Triggs received notice before me that the procedure had to be pushed back first to April later to May.

I find being Andrea twenty-four seven enjoyable but more challenging than I thought. It becomes apparent Andrew is more important to our business than any suspected. Several people had petitioned the courts to delay my surgery. Each delay requires new paperwork and jumping through hoops in rescheduling my surgery.

Come early March we know our venture into formals and prom gowns are meeting with success. The orders of my new sundresses are also ahead of sales projections. My percentage of revenue from sales now exceeds double my salary. The income I am getting is unreal to me. I am lucky that Mom has my interests at heart. She’s become a wise investor, as well as setting money aside for my education. And yes, I do share with Mom and my sisters.

I make improvements to my apartment complex, while I am able to keep the rent the same for now.

My next appointment with Dr. Triggs finds her asking me if I’m taking more female hormone than the low dosage she’s approved for me. Seemingly my male genitals are smaller and she’s suspecting I did something to push things along. Luckily a blood test verifies that I am not taking more medication. Seemingly my testosterone production has declined.

She says, “I cannot prescribe more hormones for you, even though it would be good for the natural development of your feminine body. If you could naturally get them into your body it would be a help to your developing.”

Mom is now with me and says, “I have done some research and if it will be helpful to you we’ll change your diet some.” She asks Dr. Triggs direct questions to be sure our information is good. Mom asks, “Dr. Triggs can you explain why we didn’t notice the change?”

She says, “It has been two months since I’ve seen you, making it easier to see. But for you, the change has been gradual. Seeing her on a day to day basis, you were less likely to notice the change. Someone who was looking to cause trouble, the change might have been noticed. Andrea wearing panties and keeping herself snug against herself could also add to the effect of lowering your testosterone production.”

March we fly out to California and we visit Heidi at Chico State. She’s a little embarrassed to have us, her mother and sis visiting. She is fairly outgoing and has been doing quite well in representing Andrea’s Threads. She has helped introduce my line into three more stores as well as making a good number of sales and promoting our online sales on campus. We have seen the impact of promotions and contacts making significant differences.

The joy for me comes in going to San Anselmo on the Wednesday before their spring break. I had communicated to Jenny that we might be coming on Friday if we were able to get away. Her mother, Ava, informed me of her class schedule.

I went to the school and saying I had been a student there. Their search showed an A. Stephens, but that he was a male student. I responded, “Yes, I know Andrew Stephens that was me.

Mrs. Howard the head secretary at the high school asks, “Who were your sisters who attended here?” Once I mentioned Leah and Heidi, she greets me more warmly. “So, you are the fashion designer made good. I heard that Jenny had talked to you, but nothing about you coming to see her. If it’s okay I will message for her to the office and then I’ll get her next teacher Ms. Wilkens’ approval you to be in class with her if you wish.”

I say, “I don’t remember Ms. Wilkens, is she new?”

Mrs. Howard says, “She remembered you because you’d sometimes go to cheerleading practice with Jenny. Oops, you probably remember her as Miss Julie Honeysuckle. I’m sure she was happy to lose her maiden name. It’s Ms. Wilkens now.” I’m remembering Miss Honeysuckle. I liked her both as Andrew and when I dreamed as a girl.

Mrs. Howard says, “You do remember her, don’t you? I can tell by your smile.”

Jenny speaks from behind me, “Angie, you didn’t warn… inform me you were coming. And who did you remember with a smile, besides me?”

Mrs. Howard says, “I’ll check with Ms. Wilkens if it is okay to bring Ms. Stephens to your next class.”

Jenny says, “She’ll be happy to see Angie, of course, she’ll say yes.”

I turn to greet Jenny and I’m quickly embraced in her arms. “And it is nice to see you too Jenny.”

Jenny says, “If your mother’s waiting for you outside, you should let her know you’ll be with me.”

“We already decided that. She and your mother are going to lunch to talk together.”

“My mother knew you were coming and didn’t say anything? At least she told me to dress a little better.” She says, “I like your jeggings and the skirt, but you could’ve worn a shorter skirt.”

“Being here as Angie is new for me and I’m still kind of shy.” We sit on a bench and begin talking. My skirt is short enough that I hold the hem to keep it from riding up more. The class bell rings and Mrs. Howard says, “Ms. Wilkens is looking forward to the two of you being together. She wants Jenny to introduce Angela when she says.” This will be Jenny’s last class before lunch.

I can tell by the way Ms. Wilkens greets me that she remembers me. She says, “If you’re not too set on visiting other students during lunch could I treat you and Jenny to lunch?”

Once everyone is settled in class, she calls Jenny and me up. Three girls act as they recognize me. Jenny says, “Angela was a student here two years but then she was Andrew Stephens and had not yet become a fashion designer.”

Jake Toliver says, “Knowing Andrew, it has to be in pink or chartreuse.” Steph Briggs speaks up, “Andrew has more class and her Andrea's Threads are selling across the nation. You should be quiet and not embarrass us along with yourself.” Stephanie asks, “Is it true how you discovered yourself and learned to design women’s clothing.” Steph stops, “I’m sorry, Ms. Wilkens, I hope it was okay to ask?”

Wilkens says, “It would have been better than you waited and then asked. I am thankful however that Jake was not representative of the class.” “Jake you can go down to the office and inform them why you are there. You are to stay there until I come and speak to the Principal about you.”

That was ironic because Jenny and I do go to lunch with Ms. Wilkens, but she waited until the second period after lunch to visit the office. She told us, “I want him to have a little time stewing over it, in case the only punishment is a short lecture.”

She asks me, “May I ask if your studies have remained serious?” I tell her I have actually become a more serious student and that I am enjoying my studies more than ever. I told her that JC Harper said to me, I’d do myself a favor becoming a complete person. Relying on my present notoriety could be very detrimental.

She asked, “Then tell me something you read that students might get into and it a good read?”

I mentioned, “I liked Louise Erdrich’s “The Plague of Doves”. It’s a contemporary book that I think is well written and speaks to our stuff today.” She’s heard of Louise and read critiques on her books but had not read any.

“Is it alright if I ask a more personal question, about another cheerleader you use to admire?” The way she smiles; I was pretty sure it was safe to say yes. She says, “You use to like Margaret Barrett, but it didn’t appear to be completely like the other male students.” She stopped with the statement, giving me the out to say something or to move on to another subject.

I finally found my words and spoke, “It probably sounds funny, but I kind of looked up to her and felt like her. I would have liked to look like her. I even practiced trying to do my hair or makeup, like… But I had empathy, because along with how beautiful and nice as she was; people didn’t really know her. I kind of wondered, if in college they gave her credit for how intelligent she was?” I’m not really like her, but I felt bad because most people didn’t care to know me.”

Jenny says, “It wasn’t that we didn’t want to but you were very defensive. Ms. Wilkens and I and a few others thought it was about your grief after your father died. When you put out the tutus; we didn’t know if it was serious. When I saw a skater dress you designed, I thought you were thinking of us cheerleaders.”

I ran to the women’s room as I needed to cry and pee at the same time. Jenny and then Ms. Wilkens came to see if I was okay. They both apologize as they thought they must have offended me. Instead, I received what I came back to California for people that knew me longer and hopefully cared about me, me more than my fame.”

One of the hurts about moving or moving on with one’s life is I couldn’t take everyone I wanted along.

Story to continue…

Once, I regain my composure, I stay in the girl’s restroom to redo my makeup. It is like I am rewriting my history at San Anselmo High School, getting to be a girl here. My face is not overdone but it is brighter and a bit more cheerful. Other girls may notice. I feel more like another student here than Andrea the designer of women’s fashions.

Jenny’s next class is American history with Mr. Gould, who recognizes me and approves my being in class. It is with ten minutes left in class that he asks his class, “Can anyone correlate Andrea Stephens being here today, with current American history? Several hands go up. One person says, “We’re going back to a more traditional view of life that is contrary to how Andrew’s living.” Two others voice, “Many of us and I am sure we are not wanting to move backward; losing the rights and acceptance many have gained.”

Mr. Gould asks me, “Do you see yourself in this struggle, where you might not be accepted as you are now?”

“I guess I have been accepted where I am and I’m so busy I haven’t seen it about me. There are others who are struggling just to be free or remain together as families. I see their cause as a greater issue. My presence at rallies or protests has been as an individual.”

Jenny speaks up, “But, I hear, you recently purchased part ownership in a pub.” A guy interrupts, “Sounds like a guy wanting a watering hole without being hassled. That’s neat for a high school guy. I mean…”

Jenny, “Shut up, I was talking. I think it’s for college people and others in the LGBT community continued to have a place to safely gather. Today is the first time, I’ve seen Andrew again. I don’t like her being put on the spot, but he seems very happy being Andrea. I don’t’ see it as a threat to others if she sees herself like this.”

Mr. Gould says, “I didn’t see it as putting her on the spot, just correlating it to what’s going on. She’s the one coming here as Andrea instead of Andrew.” I am ready to walk out of class, but I’m hoping the bell will ring to change classes. Mr. Gould gives an insincere apology in case I was offended. I just said good-bye as the passing bell rings.

I opt out of going to Jenny’s next class, to go back to Ms. Wilkens classroom. Two students mentioned to her what happened in the previous class. She comes to me personally saying, “I’m sorry. I was hoping if you came back that we could get into a dialogue about how education plays out in your life as a successful business person. I won’t ask you to do that now. Relax, it is nice to have you here.”

“It would be okay, I just ask if it goes negative to move on. I don’t need the hassle.”

She didn’t need to bring it up. One student voiced loudly, ‘He wouldn’t be wasting his time coming to school if he doesn’t have to.’ Ms. Wilkens responds as class begins, “Mr. Ross, maybe if you could see how learning relates to your life, you’d be more interested. Don’t you have a band and dabble in disc jockeying?”

“School has nothing to do with that. I write songs and school didn’t help that either.”

I speak up, “Do you make enough to pay taxes? What if you had a song good enough for someone to steal it from you?”

Ross is a bit agitated, “Are you saying I don’t. I make more than you think. I’m just smart enough; that not all of it is recorded.”

“No, I’m saying, you possibly could and being smart about it could be important. I have an artist friend who mixes art and music to help some of my advertisements. The less she or I know, the more someone could take advantage of our situation. She/we need to pay someone for the music we use… It also looks bad if we don’t speak well. I don’t like sounding ignorant and having others tell me so in public.”

Ross says, “I’m not ignorant. Do you know how hard it can be, figuring out how many songs of 2 to 5 minutes I can use in a four-hour gig?”

“I suspect changing seconds into minutes and knowing the time in between is important. You must be good at math.” He says, “I’m better than I was. You’re probably going to say that’s education. I also learned more poetry, Ms. Wilkens knows that.”

I ask, “How many in the music world push the gender boundaries?” He says, “Could you create some various satin tops of a band to look good?”

“Most groups nowadays don’t all present the same look. I could do you and probably the others, but do you want to pay my going rate? …I wait for the silence that I expected. Before saying, “For you, I could probably make a workable deal. But it’s interesting what you’re doing and who I am as relating.”

I ride back with Jenny to her house and my mother’s there with her mother. Her father, a sister and a brother will all be there tonight. Her mother asks Jenny, “Do you need to be in with your sister or can I trust the two of you together?”

Jenny asks, “Can I ask Blair over so we can have a pajama party?”

My phone rings that a call is coming in that is Dr. Monica’s office. I also see I missed calls and have a message. I answer the call and Brook from Monica’s office makes sure she has me. “Can you wait a moment, Dr. Monica has something to say to you?”

“What about,” I ask?

She puts me through to Dr. Monica. She asks, “Are you somewhere private that we can talk?” I say yes to that and that I’m sitting down though neither is true. “Your approval for the surgery has been turned down. We will need to put the request in again and provide more justifying information. I’m sorry. It shouldn’t be a problem just a delay.” I’m stunned and silent. I had worked up the courage to do it. I hear as Monica says we’ll need to apply, filling out all the forms and information again. She’s nice and she takes time to make me feel hopeful. When she says goodbye I am discouraged.

Mom asks me, “What’s wrong?” My phone rings again and I expect it’s from the doctor’s office. Discouraged I ask, “What now?”

It is JC, she’s not listening but telling me, “You need to go over your summer designs for the twenties line and get them right back. Do you hear me?”

I say, “No, I’m in California taking a break.”

JC says, “It’s not really a request. X-Press International isn’t asking, Tompkins just thought it might be better coming from me. You have good designs, but they want you to finish up preparing them for production. I have done two designs for my line, so you’re not hanging out there alone. Please don’t say ‘No’, get them done and back…” JC asks, “Do you have your computer with our design programs with you?” She knows very well that I do.

I have a straight line flapper dress as well as one in material that will flatter the shape of the body wearing it. I have one of those packed with me. A third is a lace dress from the same era, with both the long traditional dress and another one like it but shorter and designed for those wanting to be more active in today’s world. JC asks, “Can you have them done and back to me in the morning?”

“You’re asking me to stay up all night and I’m to be part of a pajama party. Tomorrow at 5:00 p.m. is more like it.”

JC says, “You know that won’t due. Send what you can at 7:00 and the rest by noon our time.”

I became sarcastic, saying, “Thanks a lot for the leeway that’s very generous of you.”

JC finally asks, how I’m doing. “Did something bad happen out there? What’s your problem?” I know she’s sincere, but I don’t want to hear it and I say good-bye and hang up. I sit down to cry and my mother comes over to me. “Tell me what the news is? I can tell something is not pleasing you, but it can’t be that bad.”

I grab her hands and pull her down next to me. “My surgery’s been canceled. Monica says we need to redo everything and submit it again. She says all we need do is to provide more information and justify why. It stinks, I hate going through everything proving it’s good. I’m not them but I can understand it already, why can’t they?”

Mom says, “It took two calls to tell you that?”

“No,” I bark, “JC says I need to finish five designs and have them ready in the morning. It doesn’t matter I’m away on a break. I said five o’clock the next afternoon. She told me, “No, Tompkins wants them in the morning at the latest. If I have three ready at 7:00 in the morning I can take another three hours to finish the other two. As I said that stinks.”

Mom’s pretty sure I can and will do it, as much as it stinks; it’s part of my business. Right now she embraces me and lets me cry as she compliments me.

Jenny is there, she asks, “Do you need me to cancel for tonight?”

“No, if it is alright for me to do this using the kitchen table after dinner in my pajamas. You and Blair might actually enjoy seeing me, work on my designs. I even have one of them here that you can help by modeling it for me.” Jenny loves that idea.

I have the flapper dress that will cling to Jenny’s body showing all her curves. I for one am interested in seeing the dress and her curves. Jenny asks, “Will you be done by 10 or 10:30 tonight?”

“I’ll try to stay awake and do as much as I can. If I get ideas of what I want to do, I keep working. I have lost too many images of designs by going to sleep before I capture them.” Jenny giggles about how I express myself.

It has been almost three years since I last saw Blair. Blair and Jenny remain great friends despite Blair’s now going to a private school. She comes over at 7:00. She is the image I think of when I think of a California girl. A naturally blonde girl with a golden complexion, blue eyes that help set up the glow of the girl herself. She has a slightly more mature stature, I’m guessing she’s seventeen closer to eighteen. Girls around other girls often lose the inhibitions they may have around guys. Though I’m still Andrew, Jenny and Blair see me as another girl.

Before I go to the shower, Jenny replaces my pajamas with a pair of teddy bear pajamas. I’ll need to wear a pair of panties to hold and hide part of me. I try to hide as I take off my clothes and get into the shower, but Jenny and Blair insist that I’m one of the girls and need to change with them. Jenny says, “My mom’s warning has to do with sex and not seeing each other as girls.” Blair and Jenny both tease me about my nipples being beyond simple budding. Jenny and Blair hold me down on Jenny’s bed to see if my breasts respond to being touched. I already knew they would. Blair shows me how a woman’s breasts respond.

After we shower and I’m dressed in the teddy bear pajamas both Blair and then Jenny want to model my flapper dress. Mom shows up to take a picture of both of them. Mom already had a picture of me, so it is no problem seeing how different figures change the look of the dress. It is one dress that I think the person is wise to wear a pair of flats with it.

I have finished two and then four designs on the two flapper style dresses and I have two sent off to Vee, by 10:30 that evening. The other two by midnight. Mom brought out a version of my shorter lace dress, this one being of a knit fabric. My mother insists to Jenny and Blair’s delight that I model this dress for them before they went to bed. She has even brought the blue bra and half-slip that I like wearing with it. Mom helps me to put my breast forms back on and then slip into the dress. I do not realize until I am slipping it on that this is the shortest version of this dress that I’ve made. I can barely move and remain modest. Actually, it is not meant to be worn modestly.

But as I come out in the dress mother began playing Carole King’s CD “You Need a Friend” Mrs. Connors pushes Jenny out to dance with me. I’m moved, and though I’m not ready for the surprise we enjoy the dance together. The dress pattern for production is far from complete. I designed two different meshes to be under the dress. One is very sheer, but I felt safe in designing it. The other would have lace over various colors of satin. Anything over a size eight will have some darts. The fabric on smaller sizes will mold to the figure of the woman. Both the shorter lace version of the dress and the full-length dress have a version with the plain classic cotton mesh underneath.

The versions for Angie’s Silver Threads line are all about the quality of the material, extra care to the lining and being sewn together with small but noticeable changes. Imperfects here go to the waste pile and not to discount sales. I do add more silver or gold thread and bling to these dresses. Previously we have produced the Silver line in numbers one-twentieth of the production of Andrea’s Threads. This time we gear up for personalizing online requests. It seems unreal to me with some of the dresses beginning at $400, with personalized versions going close to a thousand dollars. I share with Jenny who is back out with me come 2:30 in the morning. “It helps in keeping the costs of Andrea’s Threads at their modest price.”

It is 4:00 a.m. when I send my last batch of finished designs with the sign-off forms to Vickie and X-Press.

I pull Jenny into bed with me, where we both crash and quickly go to sleep. It is nice to have her with me. We mutter about going to North State University, but I’m not sure if we agreed to anything.

I know Jenny woke up before six, but she lied still and fondle my budding breasts and gave me soft kisses until she finally got out of bed. She got out when I started to return my affections for her. It was good that she did get out of bed as I would not have had the will to stop.

Blair playfully throws some cold water onto me.

I wear one of Jenny’s robes to see Jenny and Blair off to school. When I’m eating breakfast, Mr. Connors asks me. “How much longer are you going to keep this image before you go back to Andrew full-time?” JC Harper, X-Press International, Mom and I know about 50% of my followers expect that I will ultimately go back. Only a third of those loyal to me realize that I’m now more committed to being Andrea. I had hoped in April to begin telling about my transition.

During their lunchtime, Jenny messages me that a minimum of seven girls want to meet me and the store most of them shop at. One of my conversations there is with Tina who makes most of her own clothes as her family is relatively poor. She’s hassled because she does not have brand recognition clothes. It is not a new problem; many girls have gotten grief since brand names have become part of status recognition. I have a roll of labels with Andrea’s Threads trademark with the word ‘My’ following it. I will give twenty-two first-time requests.

She’s a very good seamstress. I don’t mind my name being associated with her work and have invited her to a summer internship. JC had already recommended I begin such a program, but Tina is the first one I invite. Andrea Miller at Hillside knows I’m willing to take one or two of her students.

My spring line has been out since before February but is just now indicating we should have a very good spring. Our trip west includes an appearance Saturday with JC at the San Francisco fashion show. I do not have a group of models that work for me, so the JC/X-Press’ group of models helps to show for me as well. It is the first time I wear dresses from Angie’s Silver Threads for a show. We do receive good reviews as my clothes are now better known and growing in popularity.

I like San Francisco for its recognition of diversity and being smaller in size to larger major cities. The additional word is my clothing lines are doing well as they’re introduced to the west coast. We are now coast to coast as well as selling internationally via the internet and X-Press International. Many internationally, who like American styles like us for style and affordability.

I am glad that Jenny came to the show in San Francisco, but surprised she had Lyle there for her and Stuart come for me. Jenn says, “I love you but as my best friend. If you like Stuart, I hope he’ll come to North State University as well. I want a friend from here for me and hopefully being good for you as well. I really think you need to date more guys to see how much you’re attracted to them.”

I am initially offended as I want to go out with her. I work to go along and not make it a big fuss. My notoriety gets us in one club not regularly open to high school students. We have a good time and I’m surprised that I like Stuart.

Stuart asks, “If I came to NSU, how would you feel about me being there. I communicated to the football coach there. That I would be interested in playing football. I think he’s very interested but he’s wondering why a California player with my speed would come there.” Stuart says, “I told him, I don’t come from a football school and did not get serious consideration. But he didn’t think that was a strong reason.”

“Saturday, I told him I met you and would be interested in going to college near you as well. I didn’t mean to insinuate I am a boyfriend. But he asked me if I knew you were transgender. I said, to him, that’s not a big issue. I told him I’m not gay, but that I see you as a woman.”

Stuart says, “I know you’re also Andrew and I’m not sure how I’d deal with that. But I feel like it is important you know I mentioned you. I should not have mentioned it, but I did. I know I like you more since we dated, but I can’t say I’m in a relationship with you.”

I say, “I’m not ready for a serious relationship, but it’s funny to hear a football player would be interested in something because I’m there.”

Stuart says, “I heard you were going to transition, but that is not going to happen now. Does that mean you are still interested in being a boy?”

“I don’t know you enough to discuss my personal life or anything as serious as that. But no, it is not about me wanting to physically be a guy. That is all I will say further about that. I know Jenny is interested in wanting a friend from here to be there if she comes to NSU.” I know he is hoping I say, volunteer more, but I’m not there. I don’t want to be his reason for coming.

Mom finds it amusing that I have two friends interested in seeing us off at the airport. I also notice several photographers taking an interest in who is seeing me off. Once we’re in the air, Leah calls us back home saying, “Your participation at a California fashion show made the news, but it was more than you’re a celebrity. It showed you with Jenny, women and even good looking boys taking interest in you.”

Leah continues, “But come next spring you can find someone else to miss spring break for you. Being your big sister, it seems strange that I’m still watching after you.”

I say, “Hopefully next year, my business will be running smoother and I don't have a hectic college schedule. If need be, I will only take three classes at a time.” Leah is surprised when I tell her I don’t need the degree as much as learning more of what I need. Both of us are surprised to hear Mother agree with me.

Mom says, “Don’t look so surprised. Anyone who cares about you is worried you are doing too much. Getting your graduation from high school out of the way kind of justifies the pace you are keeping. After you graduate, you will take a good vacation!”

Back on my tablet, someone has sent me a picture of Stuart giving me a hug, with the caption saying, “Andrea’s threads are attracting new friends.”

“Yuck, Mom it’s started.”

Mom looks at my tablet and says, “What that boy like you?”

I say, “That too and that I like them. And that there is some watching me and wondering. They think it’s amusing and there’s a picture to sell.”

Heidi a stewardess comes over to us and leans down, asking if there’s something wrong that she can help us with. I show her my phone. Heidi says, “You’re known and someone took a picture of someone you like.” I show her a picture of Jenny and me.

I ask, “How am I to know who I like or care about with others trying to decide for me?”

Heidi says, “I’ve seen you before. If I understand correctly, you’re not even sure if you’re a boy or girl? That has to be hard.”

I say, “Thank you. I’m both, but I want to live my life as a girl. I wish you had time, I would just like to tell someone like you. Hoping you understand and would be a friend.”

Heidi gave me a grin, “I can give you a few minutes now and more when we land.” She holds out my hand, looks to my Mom. “Do you two trust me to just be a friend?”

I get up and go with her…

Story to be continued…

Terri says, “I’ve seen you before. If I understand correctly, while your life is very good, there’s been a lot of changes? That has to be hard.” She waits to be sure I’m not offended; “To get so much attention and not be sure if you’re a girl or a boy has to be especially hard.”

I say, “Thank you. I’m both, but I want to live my life as a girl. I wish you had time, I would like to talk to someone like you. Hoping you understood and would be a friend.” …Terri gives me a grin, “I can give you a few minutes now and more when we land and get into the terminal.” She holds out my hand, looks to my Mom asking. “Do you two trust me to be a friend?” …I get up and go with her.

We land at the capital city airport and in another hour are soon home. I quickly get myself soaking in a warm bubble bath having moisturizing oils. It is very relaxing. Leah has come into visit and to keep me awake.

“Leah, did Mom tell you about the stewardess I met on the jet coming home. You know I was having trouble with the attention I’m getting and the pictures coming from wherever. She was nice enough to come to visit with me. She helped me to relax during the flight and spoke with me after we got off. I can’t believe she took time just for me.”

Leah says, “You’re kidding me aren’t you?” She soon realized I’m serious. “Andrea, hopefully, she would have done the same if you were just another flier. But you’re not, you were a special person on her flight. She wants to make sure people like you are happy. Mom thinks she saw you’re new to this attention you’re getting.

“Leah, we exchanged email stuff. If I let her know when I’m flying out of here she will try to be one of the stewards. She said she has a niece my age, so what happens to me feels personal for her.”

“Changing the subject,” Leah says, “Mom has ordered a hot tub to be out on our back deck.” …I interrupt her, “I wonder how hard it would be to add to the deck and make sure everything is in good shape.”

Leah, “Sis, I’m saying, won’t it be nice we can both be in there talking as we enjoy the water and girl talk.”

Leah and I both head back to our apartments, mid-week. We’re both more at home doing our studies and work there as well enjoying time with many friends and places we’re comfortable with. The travel back is mostly a sister time, but Andrew too is present. He has to be if I’m here. There’s a funny moment when as Andrea I speak out loud to Andrew and Leah hears me.

Leah says, “That answers one question in my head, ‘If you ever talk to Andrew like another part of you?’” She continues, “You know Andrea, I find this you to be healthier and happier than when I only saw Andrew.”

After we’re back; Mrs. Randolph, who has an apartment across from mine knocks at the door to ask a question. She says, “Good, it might sound silly Andrea, but I’m glad it’s you and not Andrew. Tomorrow, I’m having out-patient surgery and I’m trying to find a ride there. My daughter’s juggling her schedule so she can pick me up after it is done. She’s hoping to be there when the surgeon shares what she did.”

I ask, “What time do we need to be there?” I’m glad it is 8:00 a.m. and not at 6:00. “Will there be someone to wait with you until the surgery and during it just in case?” Elizabeth’s face saddens because there isn’t. I ask, “Would it be okay to wait with you?”

“You don’t want to stay with an old woman like me. It’s a woman’s thing anyway.”

I say, “I have grandmas too; you could be like another one. As to the woman thing, I thought that is why you wanted me instead of Andrew. I know I’m not as you're used to a woman, but I’m here.”

Beth smiles, “If you ever care to have a cup of tea with an old woman, I usually have something baked around to nibble on.”

I can’t help but smile, “I have time now if you do.” It is like an answer to prayer to have a woman like Beth open up to me. I’ve only seen glimpses into her apartment before, but it is cozy, like stepping into Grandma Stephens’ house. I find the visit more interesting as she was a nurse in Viet Nam and since then.

She says, “I experienced a few would be girls in Nam. One even found that he like it very much, but it was hard for him to look good and be taken seriously.”

I asked, “What happen to him?”

“Several of us appropriated enough stuff and helped to get him off the base a few times. It was work, but he worked hard and enjoyed being accepted by us. He was like the others we cared about along with the mess of soldiers and airmen who wanted to get back states side safely. I myself lost track of almost everyone except two other nurses. We lost two women who had cancer, probably victims of Agent Orange. The government denied it for a long time that we were exposed enough to harm us.”

Beth finally asks a question that she was resisting to ask, “I don’t want to intrude into your personal life. But, my daughter says you’re a clothes designer. I say you’re too young. I’ll be direct, I didn’t think women would like getting clothes designed by someone like you? …There I said it.”

I giggle as I find her demeanor charming, though a bit archaic. “Your daughter is right. Seemingly most of my customers like the quality and the prices of my clothes. There’s a great many who could care less about me. Those who don’t like it, either don’t buy my clothes, though I know some do. Most accept me at some level.”

She brings out a small plate of date-nut bread and cookies, along with the cups of tea. “I am embarrassed as I find you very charming. I wish I wasn’t an old fuddy-duddy. Please forgive me.”

“I apologize because when I think of veterans I don’t imagine people like you. I’m glad we’re becoming friends.” We both heard knocking at my door and now my phone is ringing. It’s Leah. “Is it alright if I see what my sister wants?” It was Ms. Randolph who opens the door and invites my sister in, telling her I’m here.

We’re going to go to the Pub to eat. I’m wondering if we should invite Beth. Once my sister finds out she’s a nurse from Viet Nam, we both want her to come if she will. Beth says, “That would be great, I just need to stop drinking and eating before 8:00 p.m.”

We all decide to change and Leah comes to my apartment as I have new outfits we’re both wearing to see other’s reactions.

The early evening at the pub changed as Beth’s stories capture the interest of many. We’re there until 9:30, but Beth did well as she stopped eating and drinking at 7:30.

I was awake around five as I want to exercise and do some designing before I take Beth for her surgery. I’m now working on fall clothes; I even have winter designs for next year in my brain. It is a cold yucky March day which makes it all easier. I wear a three quarter length skirt and blouse. I eat some breakfast and take a breakfast bar.

It feels nice to be another woman with Beth. Once she’s changed into a gown at the surgery center and hooked up with IVs I’m back with her. Once a nurse came in to check if Beth was shaved where needed for the surgery. Beth is amused by how modest I am and care about her privacy. Beth says to me after the nurse is back out. “I am glad you are being respectful of me, but if you’re my female friend relax. See it as you’re one of the girls with me. I know I am thankful you’re here with me.

The surgery is pushed back a half hour and then until 9:00. She is ready to go to surgery when Liza arrives. Beth introduces me to her daughter and Liza’s eyebrow raises when she hears my name. I give my new grandma a kiss and Liza does so as her daughter. The surgery can take up to an hour and a half and I’m uncomfortable leaving her daughter alone to hear the first news.

Liza thanks me, saying. “I am impressed that you have the character to be around for a woman old enough to be her grandmother. I have a daughter who will be here in a little while, but I want to thank you now for staying.”

She says, “Your likeness on the internet does do you justice. I admit you look older like my eighteen-year-old senior.” She shows me a picture of Lyn.

Like usual I’m asked if I do in fact design my clothes. I show her a design on my tablet in design mode. The swatches of material available for my choosing. We’re working through it, a when a shadow comes from behind us and I turn and recognize Lyn from the picture.

She’s fairly sure she recognizes me until I stand and she sees me wearing the three quarter length skirt. I giggle, “No, it is not my regular choice. I thought it would be in keeping with bringing your Grandma to the hospital.”

Lyn soon is around giving me a hug, saying, “My Gran isn’t like that but I’m sure she was happy you brought her here. You have a friend for life, whether you want it or not.”

It is another ten minutes before word comes that Beth is out of surgery and they’ll see the doctor in another fifteen minutes. We didn’t need to wait that long. The surgeon recognizes Liza and guesses we’re her daughters.

“An ovary was taken out, with a cystic tumor that might be or turn to cancer. Beth will be kept overnight. Liza, I encourage you to have someone stay with her at night through her appointment Friday afternoon.” Though her apartment is a one bedroom apartment the sofa folds out to a bed. I offer my extra bedroom if another person wants to come and stay the night. Lyn says, “If you’re serious I’d like to stay too.”

I ask, “Lyn are you a size two?” She smiles amused I could guess her size. “If you wear one of my outfit’s or dresses to school. You are welcome to do so and then keep it. All I need it an honest assessment of it.” Free sounds good to most teens our age. She is a good year plus older than me, but we’ll be the same year in university if she goes.

Before I can excuse myself, Lyn wants me to show her the outfit or dress she might be wearing. I have two outfits her size and I believe Leah has another. She favors the one I’d have picked out for her.

I’m back at my apartment when Terra calls. She has three orders to place but her computer won’t connect with our order site. We are both happy to see each other, so it is a good excuse to get together. Terra uses my computer to place her orders and she’s happy as the order's total over a dozen items or outfits.

We take some time for each other and she is one of the few who can honestly tell how much my breasts are growing in size and sensitivity. If one’s a normal girl it is not spectacular but we’re both happy. I know she has been seeing more guys but for now and tonight we’re all that matters. She had brought me out of my shell and has helped me to blossom. I dated before but for Andrea; she’ll always be my first date, kiss, and love.

She and I even shared some wine as I shared the delay of my surgery.

It was eight o’clock that night when Lyn calls and hands the phone to her grandmother. Beth says, “Thanks for giving me a ride and staying around after I went to surgery. Liz and Lyn are now even bigger fans of yours.” She tries to tell me she’s paying for Lyn’s outfit. It took a little to get her to understand that I was not really treating her granddaughter Lyn. She would earn the dress by wearing it and giving me feedback.

She must have heard Terra in the background as she questioned if I’d have room for Lyn to stay. “I have her penciled in for two nights. A third night if we can go out together with friends Friday night.” I hear Lyn say, yes in the background. That switches a night out with Terra to Saturday night.

Tuesday I see Dr. Monica Triggs and Wednesday Dr. Saga Dotter. Monica shows me the maturing of my complexion and how I am feminizing. I guess I saw the change and have been enjoying the difference. But to see it as she is showing me now it is more dramatic and pleasing to my psyche.

When I got back to my apartment, Beth, Liza, and Lyn were all there in Beth’s apartment. Lyn is excited to stay with me but confesses. “Our school is on spring break this week so I won’t be earning the outfit.” She and I agree to go shopping the next day and eat lunch together. It is something Dr. Dotter has been after me to do; making new friends and getting out without a business or school agenda.

My appointment with Dr. Dotter goes well. She is after me to give Andrew some more time. Coming away from the appointment; I’m wondering if she had written anything that delayed my surgery and transition. The thought came after my appointment. My next appointment with her won’t be for a month.

My mother is coming up Thursday. It is something she arranged with Leah but she’s staying in her room in Andrew’s apartment. Along with checking on her grandmother Beth and spending some time with her. Lyn is learning designs 101. She is crude in her ability but like most young women has some neat ideas as to what she likes. The little nuances that each of us would like to make in an outfit, makes for new designs. Three of Lyn’s have promise and will be incorporated into two designs for new clothing. Two to be incorporated with sizeable changes for fall. Those two will also be there when I get to designing outfits for next spring.

Grams gets good news that they believe her operation appeared to get everything. She would have her next appointment in three months. Mom and I had gone with Beth on Friday, as something came up for Liza. We could both tell Beth was not comfortable waiting three months and that her daughter was not with her.

We requested an appointment for one month but the person scheduling said it was impossible as insurance and Medicare would not allow it. The three of us are stubborn enough to insist. Even with mom and me paying upfront, it was still not going to be allowed.

I and JC had already given to the University Hospital and Clinics through our companies as well as through X-Press Inc. It’s agreed she would have a regular checkup with her doctor, presumably for a reason not verified yet by her doctor.

Lyn and I are to go out with three of her girlfriends with guys meeting us at a games area. It is part of the mall which is good as most the guys get lost in the games. I, because of being Andrew know the games well and could have enjoyed playing more. But when the girls go window shopping and then to a late movie I am with them. Half of the guys came with us to the movie. I find myself along with Lyn getting into the movie and crying at the same time the other girls do.

Tonight, Lyn and three girls come to my apartment and it’s a pajama party. I am cautious about so many girls staying over. Mom’s next door and ready to come over if needed. I had planned to sleep in my bed apart from the three girls, but my mattress is soon in the living room and we plan to squeeze together. We take turns using the shower, sink, and toilet.

I woke up once in the night with a mess of legs, arms, and bodies around me as well again when I wake up in the morning. This time to find Joan’s hand massaging one of my breasts to the point I’m awakened with such a wonderful euphoria. Lyn hits me with a pillow to be quiet. Then seeing what Joan is doing she hits her twice. Joan didn’t fully wake up, instead, she moves to me and begins sucking on my tit. Lyn, I and now another girl give her a moment before we fully awaken her.

Joan is supposedly stunned at what she was doing, though two of the girls have had similar experiences with her. Lyn points out the bright pink state of my breast. I pull down my top long enough to get up and run to the bathroom. I am from the toilet washing my hands when two of the girls rush in. One sits on the toilet in relief and the other is growing more anxious.

Wanting a shower I step into the shower before taking off my night clothes and begin the water. It’s a foolish thing to do as the water is ice cold, to begin with. Lyn is now in the bathroom saying, “You know from this side your silhouette is all Andrea.

I hear the bathroom door fully latch and then locked. Lyn opens the shower door and scoots inside. I had been washing my body with a soapy washcloth. Automatically I begin washing the body in front of me. Lyn is a good inch taller than me. She is slightly heavier but mostly in the right places. She begins kissing me when I turn the water colder. I then let myself out of the shower. “You can’t blame me,” Lyn says. “I was just trying to return your kindness.”

Once out of the bathroom wrapped in my robe, I bump into my Mom on the way to my bedroom. She gives me a half-serious slap on the butt as she follows me into the room. She is mindful the walls might have ears as she sits me down and gives me a good talking.

The girls are hurrying to get dressed and out when my Mom emerges from my room. She says, “You know that can’t happen again for Andrea. Please relax and someone can help me get some breakfast.”

Except for Lyn going across the hallway to Grandma Beth’s the other girls are gone, when I get a phone call. Terra is calling, though she’s outside in her car. She wanted to come and do it personally but she’s crying too hard. I too am crying when I ask, “I want you to come in, please. Would you rather see Andrew or Andrea?”

Terra says, “You’re the same to me.”

“Please come in, I think we both knew it was coming, but we should remain good friends.” It is five long minutes before my mother lets in Terra and leaves us crying together. It is a long time of tears, memories, and Terra needing more. I was very sure she had found a guy friend, but it would be weeks before that would be known.

Mom left to be with Leah as she had intended when she came. I spent five hours moping around crying now and then and feeling sorry for myself. I answered my door and it was Beth and her daughter Liz. They assumed I was distraught because my mother came down on me because of my time with the girls. When they hear about Terra and me. Liz says, “So was it Andrea who loved her?”

“It’s not that easy, but like Andrew, I probably would be quieter about it and stuff it in.” Left alone I knew I would be okay. As much as I want to be angry at Terra, knew I owed her for opening my world and encouraging me to become me…

Story to be continued…?

I showered and decided to go around as Andrew, binding my small breasts under a tank top. Two people who saw me commented on my filling out as Andrew. I went to the Flowery Saddle Pub and enjoyed doing some extra cleaning there.

I met Syva and Jere, two who were known to come during afternoons. They’re a fairly private lesbian couple. They were there sometime before they spoke to the main owner Terri Wells about them dancing with each of us. Jere had put in several dollars to a jukebox, selecting several songs. She then came over to me and politely asks me, “Would you please dance with me?”

I agreed but was quickly surprised that Jere took the lead in dancing. It is different for me, as I generally stay in guy mode when I present myself as Andrew. I kind of like stretching myself not realizing how much I carry my own gender bias.

We sit down and talk; Syva saying, “You know there are more and more of us women who like going without a bra but I for one wouldn’t mind some support and comfort for my breasts and nipples… I’ve kind of accepted you and others don’t care or want us. But some kind of material inside that’s not as scratchy or coarse would be nice.

I had thought about that once when my nipples started to bud, but I thought I was just being wimpy. We do it for nice dresses especially with some that might be worn braless. I ask, “Syva, Jere, and Terri do you really think women would see that if we put it in more often?”

Vee had mentioned it before, and here I’m hearing it again. It’s called a shelf-bra and for me, it is important to know there are two very different possibilities with this term to what it could mean. Syva is in the vast majority of those seeking function and comfort.

JC says I am established enough to begin using it more without my customers misunderstanding about how I’d be incorporating it. Syva does not want to be considered a formal contact for me in the lesbian and transgender community. Unofficially, however, she likes the idea on occasion she can do so and make an income in doing so.

I spend the evening communicating back to Jenny in California. I used some makeup for guys; it helps a little in making Andrew more visible. The connection is more about just that staying connected. I have sent in the design alterations for Jenny’s prom dress. If everything goes well it will be to her in seven to ten days.

I am waiting until I hear she has a prom date. Then a week or so after I will ask her to be a prom date here. Mom and I plan to be there for again for her graduation; if that is okay with her.

It’s a growing problem for me but Dr. Saga Dotter and Dr. Triggs say my growing attraction to boys is quite normal with my change in hormones and seeing myself more as Andrea. Dr. Triggs says at my next appointment, “Maybe how you’re wired as Andrea is very different from Andrew’s attraction to Jenny and Terra… When you broke up with Terra, you indicated a strong desire to continue as friends. Might that show a shift in wanting to be friends more with other women, both as you meet and then with long-term friendships?”

Before my appointment ends she comes back to the subject. “What if your friend Jenny comes here to college, and she desires more to be a friend more than romantically involved with you?”

It’s a good question, but not one I’m pleased to hear right now. I hold in my emotions until Leah and I are outside the clinic. Leah asks, “What’s wrong?” I’m already crying and turning to hug her. But I don’t feel like getting into that discussion.

I tell, “Dr. Triggs says, I should stop the hormones and the blockers now, or the changes in my body will be irreversible.”

Leah consoled me and seems to accept my answer, but once we’re on the way back to the apartment. She says, “I take it that whatever the real problem is, you don’t want to talk about it yet.”

She usually is on her way downstairs to her apartment as I head for mine. Today she follows me to my apartment. I was going to stop at Beth’s apartment for some tea. It would be good to talk to Grandma Beth.

Leah says, “Do you want to talk or do some retail therapy?”

I say, “I wouldn’t mind getting some spring clothes, especially something for Easter.”

We’re talking and my phone rings and Megan Hach is calling she’s one of the first college students I met at the apartments. I tell Leah and ask if I should answer. “She probably heard you and Terra broke up. She had it bad for you when you first came. Go ahead and answer.”

I answer, “Hi, is this Megan?”

She says, “Hey stranger, I’m wanting to know if you might be free to go out Friday and maybe Saturday. My friend Dillon has a brother Kason whose thinking of transferring here next year.”

I say, “Tell me a little more?”

“He’s coming Thursday to look at North State. I’m looking for someone special to go out with the three of us on Friday. I’ve seen pictures and he’s good-looking. Dillon says he’s a good guy, he’s come off a serious romance with someone like yourself. He’s not looking to get into another romance but he is quite social.”

“I’m not into blind dates, sorry.” I get a picture with ‘Kason’ underneath it. I show it to Leah, she smiles and says, “If he’s sensitive and good looking too, go for it, but know you don’t have to.”

Megan says, “With Dillon going and if we can drop your name too, we should be able to get in at Riley’s Watering Hole without waiting.”

Leah’s listening and says, “Tell them, only Riley and the doorman are to know you’re coming.”

Megan hears at the other end. “I understand, I’ll make sure of that. I’ll call or stop by tomorrow to visit with the particulars. It will be nice to get to visit again.”

Once off the phone, I turn to Leah. “I really need to get out and relax. Let’s change and then get out and go shopping. We don’t need to get much. I do owe Leah so I pay her about $200 so she can shop as she wants. And I find a coral chiffon dress with spaghetti straps. Leah encourages me to buy a pair of designer jeans that I like along with some nice panty briefs. There is a backless dress I envy but the truth is I can only wait and hope that someday I will look good in it. The truth is my skin and body shape can’t pull off all the girl looks I’d like, at least not yet.

I enjoy walking by people knowing guys are pleased with how we look. We stopped for a sandwich and short visit at my Pub.

Late the next morning Megan stops and we have a good visit. It is easy to see why I had a crush on her. “Megan, I’m a little upset that you haven’t stopped for a visit recently.”

She says, “I think we both liked each other and know that wouldn’t have been good. Once I met your girlfriend Terra. I was fairly sure liking you wouldn’t be good while you and Terra were close.”

“You thought I’d prefer you matching me up with a blind date would be better. I guess you decided to move on.” I say, “I’m sorry that’s probably not fair. I’m having problems adjusting as I’m more and more a girl inside and out. Like yesterday when I saw your picture of Kason. I'm not used to my body and heart both saying I find him attractive.”

Megan asks, “Is that why you and Terra broke up. I thought it was her who decided to move on?”

I confess, “It was, but I’ve recently had a few encounters that match up with what my doctors are saying about me changing. The truth is I’m kind of finding guys attractive. It’s silly but I like the idea I can make them excited.”

Megan says, “I know, Dillon and I are mostly friends but we can both make the other hot. But I like us being attracted to one another too.”

Megan finds herself wanting to change the subject. “We shouldn’t keep this conversation up if we’re dating guys together, tomorrow night.”

“Someone said, you’ve got that old recluse across the hall to open up. How did you do that? She always seemed a little spooky to me.”

I take Megan’s hand, “Come on, I was planning to go see her today. I might as well introduce you to Beth. She’s a pretty neat woman. She could be my grandma, except she’s easier to talk to. She was a nurse in Vietnam and no shrinking violet.”

During our visit with Beth, Megan’s friends Elle and Ruth call her. They’re surprised Meg’s back visiting with me and stunned she’s now friends with Beth. The four of us are even talking of taking Beth out to the pub some night.”

It was good to catch a break when Megan went back to her apartment and me mine. It allows me today to get in a good four hours designing in the afternoon. I intended to take the rest of the day off and resume tomorrow, but as usual, I got wrapped up in designing and finally force myself to stop around 9 pm. Friday morning I’m up early, read some for school, and put in another three hours that became five designing.

It was good as I focused on several designs for next Christmas while my notes from last Christmas are fresh in my mind.

Getting ready for my date with Kason, I begin to feel a little flirty and just wanting to be a girl to him. I decide to wear my new yellow chiffon dress, though it is cool enough I might need to stay real close with Kason to stay warm. I’m hoping to like him, yet I know I will survive if I don’t.

Dillon and Kason grew up and went to school in a town south of the state capital. About fifteen miles the other side of Plainfield from Hillside. If Bri, is the Brianna I’m thinking; Bri and I met once.

I lightly do my face, it should have enough color to show. I am tickled that I have gotten better than some other girls. My hairstyle is still holding, though I should get back to my salon. I double-check my look, down to making sure my stockings don’t have any snags.

I spy out the window of my Andrew pad to catch a look at the guys getting out of the car. The image I had in my mind of Kason is different from the Kason who’s just coming through the door. He looks thinner in the photo I saw, with finer features. Now he looks more like his athletic brother Dillon. The eyes and nice features are there, but noticeably bolder. A short conversation indicates he is sensitive and I find him charming in a way.

Kason comments, “I thought I was going to have trouble relating with you or warming up to anyone. I want to thank you for being my date. It will be nicer than I thought.” He leans forward like he was ready to kiss me. Then pulls back, apologizing, “Sorry, I’m so tempted to hug and kiss you, and we’re not yet out on a date.”

I step forward, “Since we only have tonight I think warming up now would be okay. You seem to be a nice guy that I don't mind snuggling up with. Hopefully, there might be a slow dance we can use to find out.” I can use a distraction, as Megan seems to be taking her time, and she and Dillon are a bit more than just friends. Megan says she called Riley’s, “We shouldn’t have trouble getting in.”

Riley’s Watering Hole is an institution in itself; a nightspot for the college crowd, those twenty and thirties something, along with those young at heart. By the time we get there, the waiting time is well over an hour. The doorman asks for my I.D. to confirm I’m Andrea. He says, “Thanks the next time proof won’t be needed. I’ll have no trouble remembering you.”

Kason and I are talking at Riley’s when he gets a text, “I’ve met Andrea, be nice to her and just let her have fun being a girl,” Bri.

Kason says, “We’re still friends. She thought it would be good for me to meet another person like her. I think she’s right in this case.”

We’re being disturbed by Dillon attracting a lot of his friends. I don’t regularly mind people being loud, but some of them are already well on their way to being drunk. “Kason, can we dance and possibly be at a smaller table where we can just be together?”

“Yea, my brother’s friends can be a bit much.” We’re dancing when we see a table come free and go for it. Two college women get there at the same time. Neither they nor we want to give it up and leave. There are four chairs and room for one or two more if needed. The four of us stayed. I went and got my purse and light coat.

I guess Deidra recognized me quickly but kept it to herself. It was when Kason stepped away, Deidra commented, “You’re, Andrea Stephens the designer?” I gave a simple smile, both commented on liking to meet me. Deidra says, “I’ve seen you at a store promotion. It’s nice seeing you be just one of us girls. Can I ask, if he’s a boyfriend?”

Kason’s on his way back and hears me say, “No, he’s come here looking to transfer and my friend Megan knows his brother.”

Kason sits down, “Yea, I lucked out. An old girlfriend even knows Andrea and told me to be nice to her.” He asks, “Are you college students here?”

We’re soon dancing again and Deidra and Em were asked by others to dance. A guy and girl try exchanging partners with us. I’m not interested but Kason was taken from me for that and another dance. I danced with the guy but only to the end of that song.

Using the time to freshen up, I retreat to the women’s room. Once back to a sink, I wash my hands and check my makeup. A woman bumps me, saying, “I didn’t see a sign inviting you in here?”

I kept to myself saying, “I guess not.” After finishing my hair and makeup I left. The woman followed me out, “Aren’t you at least going to apologize?” I reply, “I didn’t think it was needed.” I knew she went to tell someone, but I guess didn’t get any satisfaction there either.

When I got back to the table, Kason mentioned leaving soon. He asked if I’ve used Uber. I told him what had happened and said, “I’d rather not leave just yet. I want to know if Riley’s has trouble with me using a restroom.”

I find myself enjoying being with Kason and have his warm strong hands holding me during a slow dance. I’m checking out how other girls look. Deidra asks to exchange phone numbers which I do. It is not my more private line.

Later, Nick Riley called to me from the bar on our way out, “Hey Andrea, know you’re always welcome.”

Monday I’m happy to get back to my class schedule as spring break gets over. I’ve made a number of friends and it seems better coming to school consistently as Andrea. I like visiting with Ms. Hopkins my literature teacher. She says March is women’s month and gives me additional reading.

I’m back to the Flowery Saddle Pub late in the week. Prof. Jean Cozier is there and he’s trying to hit on me and doesn’t stop when I make it clear I’m not interested. He said, “You embarrassed me in class last semester and I want some satisfaction. I’ve heard that you plan to take classes with Professor Paula Riggs, this summer and next fall. Let me make it clear. If I don’t get your cooperation I can make things problematic for both her and JC Harper as well as you. Have I made myself clear? When you decide that you’ll like to reconsider your cooperation with me; you know how to reach me.”

I lift my phone and then say, “I just want to be left alone by you and to get on with being a teenager. I will ask for a restraint order against you if needed.”

I speak up, “Terri would you please call the police and ask them to send some officers. I want to give Professor Cozier a chance to refute his words as I’ve recorded them.”

Terri Wells is calling as Jean Claude Cozier is saying, “You wouldn’t?”

“I don’t want you to worry about holding a club over me or harassing someone to cause me trouble. Mr. Cozier.”

He says, “That is Professor Ph.D. Cozier to you; I’ve earned that respect.”

“I said, ‘Mister’ because I feel like you have dishonored your profession and my respect for you as a student. I am not the law so I can’t guarantee what standing this will have. But to answer your earlier question, ‘Yes, I would and I will.’”

I say to Terri, “Terri, do you know most studies say, ‘When someone has been abusive, sexually or with power, it’s likely just the tip of the iceberg. It would be nice to find out that there are other reports out there either with the law or the University.”

Officers O Reilly and Hagg are entering the Pub as Prof. Cozier had turned and was walking out. Terri Wells speaks up, “The person leaving is the one who was being abusive.” He was asked to stay and does though not without criticizing Terri and the Officers. One officer is in uniform and the other and now another that follows them in are in plain clothes.

I ask them, “Would each of you identify yourself?” They say “Sargent John Hagg;” “Detective Patricia O’Reilly;” and “Lieutenant Steven Miller, how are we doing so far. What is the complaint and who’s making it?”

I say, “I’m Andrea Stephens a student and business person. Prof. Cozier and I have had trouble before, so unbeknownst to him, I started my phone recording when he came up to me. My employer, X-Press International, and JC Harper suggested I do this.” With that, I pushed the off button on my phone. Lieutenant Miller says, “I’d like that phone for evidence.” It was more a request than a suggestion.

I say, “If I can get someone to transfer my contacts and calendar, as well as the conversation; I would appreciate that.”

Patricia holds out her hand, “You need to hand it over. Someone else will need to decide if they can do what you’re requesting?” I take my time and send a message to Leah and then hand over the phone. Patricia asks, “Did you send information to someone?”

“My sister Leah.”

Mr. Cozier says, “Isn’t that against the law for her to record like that without my permission or a court order?”

Officer Miller says, “We can’t do it, but I doubt it is the same for her. I’ll let the County Attorney and the courts decide all that.”

Prof. Cozier and I are taken to a corner by Patricia and the two male officers. She asks me, “Can you tell me what happened or play the recording?” I push it to play and we all listen.

Then she asks, “Mr. Cozier would you like to tell us in your words what happened?”

“Well I was set up and then she started to record our conversation without telling me. I think she has an agenda of entrapping me to shake me down for money or something. I’ve never been so humiliated, but I’d like to talk it out and see if we can get things settled here?” The Officers are quietly waiting. He continues, “She called me and asked me to come down here.”

“That’s a lie! You can check my phone…”

Steve Miller says, “One of you is lying to the police which is against the law. We will take the two of you to the Police station and try to straighten things out there.”

My phone rings, Officer O Reilly says, “It says, Leah. Would you like her to meet you at the station or pick up your car?”

“Station please,” I say goodbye to Terri and ask her to call my mother. I am to ride with Det. Patti O Reilly. Sargent John Hagg takes Cozier and Lieutenant Steven Miller rides with them. Once we’re at the station and I’m with Patricia in one room, another detective comes in with her to talk to me.

I ask, “Will my sister be directed back to us?”

“She’ll be asked to wait for now.”

Unbeknownst to either of us Sgt. Hagg called the University and requested the phone records for Ph.D. Cozier’s office. Cozier had to hand over his iPhone to Steven Miller thought he wouldn’t give permission to check it. They told him, “We will get permission to see your call record. You better be certain that you got a phone call from Ms. Andrea. It will show up if she called you.”

“Andrea is really Andrew Stephens. Regarding my call, I can’t remember if it was on my phone or my office phone.” It was at that point Cozier requested his lawyer. Which will actually be a University lawyer?

I gave them permission to check my phone history which included two cell numbers and my apartment phone and the pub phone. I had signed that permission before my mother’s phone call was transferred to where we are. Mom says, “I have asked them not to question you until you have us and your lawyer there.

Mom says, “Marion Tufts from Hopewell Law will probably ask another lawyer to handle any civil/criminal issues.”

Once mom hangs up, saying she and Dan are coming; Det. O’Reilly asks, “Are you willing to make out a written statement as to what happened?”

“I thought you weren’t to continue to ask me questions?”

She says, “You know what your mother asked. And you know what we already talked about. If you are willing to write a statement I am willing to do that without questioning you.”

I agreed and wrote down what I already said along with that I had not called Cozier to entrap him. Half an hour later I am free to go. They did ask me to call in the morning after 8:00 am. and be ready to come into the station.

Leah was upset asking what had taken so long. She was more upset that I wrote out a written statement for the police after our mother’s instructions. It was 11:00 that night before Mom and Dan arrived.

While I’m sure my Mom and Dan weren’t happy, they...

Story to be continued…

Previously: They did ask me to call in the morning after 8:00 am. and be ready to come into the police station… Leah was upset asking what had taken so long. She was more upset that I wrote out a written statement for the police after my mother’s instructions. It was 11:00 that night before Mom and Dan arrived… While I’m sure my Mom and Dan weren’t happy, they...

Marion Tufts from Hopewell Law called us at 7:45 a.m. After saying hello, “Hopefully,” she says, “there will be good news for you at the police station. They will not say that when you call. You will be asked to call back at 11:30, and unless something changes you will be home free. They’re not willing to say anything about you being in trouble, but the same does not sound true for the professor.”

“It seems you were mentioned in some of his messages, other than that they were derogatory, they were not saying anything more.”

JC Harper and X-Press International were soon involved and kept informed by my lawyer Marion Tufts. Seemingly their wait brought a response from the university sooner than later. They had acknowledged three past complaints and more received after the incident was first publicly reported when Jean Crozier was booked this time. My official response to being harassed was, “I am pleased that Ph.D. Crozier will be held accountable for his actions. But no, I’m not pleased I have to defend myself against someone harassing me and others. Sadly, previous victims weren’t taken more seriously.”

One national news group first accused me of causing the problem because of my double identity. They backed off a little when they learned that Ph.D. Crozier was the one who had an identity issue that was not known and he was abusing his authority as a Professor to force his will on others to submit to his pet peeves.

I was glad that my mother had come to stay with me. I got back to the apartments and headed to take a long hot shower. Mom entered the room once I was in the shower so we could talk. But she was initially quiet, as she sensed I was unwinding. I had become used to showering as Andrea but the extent I got into it amazed my mom this time. I started by first soaking in the hot water and used my hands to help it cascade over my body. Lost in my world, my hands ran down my body. My hands and fingertips circle my breasts and brought a soothing reaction. I was oohing and ahhing as my body was arousing myself.

My mother gave a gentle cough to remind me she was there. “I’m sorry, Mom. There wasn’t a nice way to let off some of my tension and express myself as Andrea. I’m feeling more of the wear and tear of this falling on me as Andrea. Your son has the creative release of designing new clothes. I’m finding I have a sensual appetite that’s tying itself in knots and hot showers and a little foreplay help me to unwind. I hope that is not too much information for a mother to hear.”

“Wow, young lady, thanks for trusting me to share it. I never expected to hear anything like this. When you come out, if you’d want you could wrap yourself in a big towel and I’d be willing to give you a good massage.” Mom said, “I was surprised it didn’t seem like things were bothering you.”

My mom left the bathroom as I was ready to get out and dry myself off; my mother reappeared in her workout tights and top. She directed me to my bed where she had a blanket for me to lie on. “I’ve done this for your sister, now relax.”

She massaged me, working mostly on my shoulders, neck, and then my upper and lower back. She used a lavender massage oil as she unwound knots and tight muscles, and finally brought a calming sensation to my body. But by the end, I wasn’t smelling like a clean lavender scent. My mother informed me, I needed a gentle shower to rinse off and then to get to bed.

I told her, I needed to call the police station and probably go there. Mom and Leah treated me as a child, telling me what I should and shouldn’t do. They used Marion Tufts’ name, to give credence to what they said.

Once I reach the Police station, Detective Patricia O’Reilly comes out to escort me. “It is nice you came, Andrea. We need to confirm some of what you said and ask some more questions. I thought your Mother or someone would be with you.”

“I was told I needed to come but it was more a formality and I’d be okay to leave. Is it more serious than that? Should I call my Mother to be here?”

Det. O’Reilly said, “Yes, today is more of a formal procedure, but Prof. Crosier is likely not to take this sitting down and may decide to counter-sue you for defamation of character or another counterclaim. I am not discounting your ability to handle yourself. We were impressed with how you have handled things so far. We are talking to some of your classmates from your class with Prof. Crozier. I can’t tell you who or what was said so far, but you are well respected for someone your age.”

Lieutenant Steven Miller came into the room and greeted me, but he too expected others to be there. He said, “I know you have done well for a young adult in the fashion world, but things here can get kind of messy. Being alone is not usually advisable. We would like it if you and a few others would bring formal charges against Mr. Jean Crozier.”

I asked, “I thought you would have enough to bring regular charges against him. The Count Attorney or someone should be bringing the charges. We may be willing to bring a civil suit against him; if I or my businesses suffer from all of this.”

“You being a public figure bringing charges to the case would bring added weight,” said Lieut. Miller.

“I’d rather be seen as another abused student seeking justice. It is my understanding that abused women are often victimized twice in the legal procedures. I am willing to speak up and take a stand. These are criminal issues and thus the judicial system should shoulder the responsibility of the case.”

I can see Det. O’Reilly sit back, surprised by my stance. Amused, she joked, “You know, you’re on thin ice here. What if we had to charge you with a crime and put you in jail until bail was arranged? You’re dressed as Andrea, but technically you’re Andrew. Putting you into the men’s area could cause us all problems.”

With that I excused myself, “I’ll go back to my apartment and choose between my studies and designing another dress or two.”

Patricia asked, “Can you concentrate on doing something like that with these things hanging in the air?”

I was back at the apartment focusing on two wintertime designs; when Det. Patricia rang to get in. “This is not an official call, instead I wanted to seek your advice about softening my look. It seems too many guys have trouble seeing the softer side of me socially?”

With a slight giggle, I invited her in so we could talk. I find it easier to show possibilities than just trying to explain ideas. I told her it shouldn’t just be the clothing, but a change of hair and makeup to help cast a separate image. I was able to upload a picture of her where I could change her hairstyle, and use pastels in her makeup. While I suggested dresses and skirt outfits; I also showed loose and stylish dress slacks to give her a whole different look. A fashion idea even came to me as we were talking. I showed her a bolt of cloth I had, a crushed pastel blue velvet, and designed a dress that she was very pleased with.

She was initially uncomfortable with allowing me to measure her for the actual dress. Reluctantly, she gave in and by this time we were friends, with me designing a dress for her. She was now Patti and seen as an everyday friend. I downloaded the design and sent it to my top seamstress, Sara Thomas, with a request that it be made up and sent out to me. Sarah was also to submit it as one of my new designs. I requested another casual skirt/blouse outfit to be sent with it. The dress Patti was paying for; the outfit would be my gift to Patti after my case was settled.

By seven o’clock Patti’s dress was the second I had finished designing today. A knock on my door found my Mom and Leah dressed to take me out to eat. With a quick shower and throwing an outfit on, I was ready in twenty-five minutes.

A week had passed and I was focused on school and my fashion work. Most often designs took time to come together; it was normal for three or more designs to be decorating my second apartment. Especially now, as I’m Andrea 90% of the time. Sara Thomas, JC Harper, and others close to me; may put a design aside and communicate their ideas to me. Together we will often refine something whether it might be a matter of the fabric, length, or setting it aside until I become more comfortable with what I put my final approval on.

It was a Thursday and I needed a break at the end of the school day. I went to the pub. I checked our books and knew that it had continued to be busy. Terri Wells smiled knowing that I would be happy. She commented, “We have strengthened our clientele so that after the University is out for the summer; we’ll be doing relatively well.”

I was soon approached by Steph Jones. We’ve met before and are kind of friends. She’s not very shy, she asked me, “Are you enjoying being a woman so far? Without waiting for an answer she asked, “Are you looking forward to being more of a woman?” With that she paused, and I simply indicated yes. She said, “You should have a college guy bang you two or three times until you were sore and possibly bleeding. Then you’d have a girl experience and hopefully need to wear a pad for a couple of days.”

I responded, “I don’t think my mother would approve of that.”

“That would be normal for the average girl, as she wouldn’t say anything until she asked to be on the pill.” She said, “I could even help set you up with a guy who’s likely to be clean, but a little anxious.”

I said, “I’ll think about that.”

Steph didn’t back away, “I was looking to set you up a week from tomorrow or Saturday.” She stayed there wanting an answer.

Teri said, “She’s wanting an answer, I think it might not be a bad idea.” They were both looking at me. Teri said, “If you do it, you should meet at the gay bar and you should change your look and name.”

I asked them to let me think for a moment. I helped for a couple of hours serving customers food. Steph was back close to me, staring. Finally, I said, “You’re not going to let up, are you? There was a pause with deafening silence. I finally said, “Do you think you can arrange something for next Saturday at 9 or later?”

Steph said, “His name is Brien; he won’t know who you are, I’ve called you Jolene. He’ll meet you at Laughing Kilts.” I shook my head as Steph went back to her friends. ‘I can’t believe I’ve done this.”

Teri as though she was reading my mind, “It probably is the next step to take. And as she said, you shouldn’t say anything to your Mom or sister until afterward.”

When I returned to my apartment I got a call from my Mother. She said, “I set up our plane tickets for two weeks from yesterday. Jenny Connors is excited that we’re going to be at her graduation. Her mother offered to put us up at their house, but I found a place to stay close by. I arranged for one car rental for your business and one for me. They’ll deliver your care to the Hyatt after that.”

I had a restless night’s sleep; I worried about being with Brien. I’m wanting to meet this Brien, and I’m sure I won’t be having sex with him the first time we’re together. Early in the morning, I wondered if someone like Matt Scott would be a better choice.

My phone rang, it was Sargent John Hagg from the police station, “I hope I didn’t wake you, but I thought you should know that the County Attorney decided to do as you suggested. He is initiating the charges against Ph.D. Jean Cozier; using several of you as the material witnesses and as victims of his abusive behavior. He also has two or three witnesses for each allegation of abuse. You are asked to keep us informed if you decide to move. Assistant Attorney Blake Rivers will be the lead attorney.” He asked if I had questions, which I had a few. Satisfied with his answers or that someone would get back to me, the call soon ended.

“Before you go, would you mind if I transferred the call to Detective Patricia O’Reilly; she said it was a personal matter. You don’t need to accept it.”

“Put me through please,” I asked.

Patti picked up the phone and quickly said, “There were a couple of mistakes in the dress you measured me for. One, a personally made dress should cost well over one hundred dollars.”

I interrupted her, “You said you couldn’t afford those things.”

Patti cheerfully said, “But my bill is only $39, and there’s a second outfit I never ordered, and there is no bill with it.”

My response was, “There should be a contract to sign, giving us permission to use the design and your given name for the production and sale of dresses of that design?”

She said there was and that she’d sign it but there didn’t need to be any reimbursement to her. She ultimately agreed to leave it as it was. There would likely be several renditions of the dress this year with runs of five to ten thousand each. It would likely lead to a reimbursement of $2500 or more this year alone.

I decided I’d go as Jolene to the Laughing Kilts tonight as Jolene; I knew Sean Haggerty, one of the owners. I was hoping to see Brien or at a minimum to learn about him and possibly how to contact him.

School went well with word that students from Crozier’s classes were over and we would be getting grades based on his records. Word was that the grades could be challenged and that the Dean of the Department would determine the final grades.

If a comment that Crozier had made was true I would be getting an ‘A or B+’ as my final grade. I was satisfied either way I would get a good grade for his class. My last class at the high school was Art and Sheryl Dobbs and I let out from there in search of Mother’s Day for our moms. Her mother Heather, the art instructor, permitted without knowing where we were going. Sheryl was going to ask for her mother’s credit card, but I suggested I’d help her now and she could pay afterwards. That way the gift would be a surprise.

Like mine, Sheryl’s mother was quite attractive, which made it difficult for both of us. Sheryl informed me that I was quite attractive as I did to her. It was a mental image and helpful for us to discuss with each other. It hadn’t been the first time and probably wouldn’t be the last.

Sheryl’s mother was not into dresses, but I knew a store that carried a lot of JC Harper’s line of clothes. I was pretty sure a slack and jacket outfit might be an exception. It took us two stores, but there ahead of us, Sheryl saw the combo of a white background with brush marks of red, a soft blue, yellow, and violet. “How did they do that? It’s her!”

Not only did she buy her the outfit, but she also had us stop at an art store where she bought three blank canvases.

We stopped at Venus Day Spas where I purchased my mother an all-day spa package that included: a massage, sauna, manicure, and pedicure, and full makeover and hair-styling.

That done, we parted ways and I went back to my apartment to get ready for my visit to Laughing Kilts. I waited until nine to go out. I changed my hair to a ponytail and wore glasses with plain lenses, I refined my makeup so I appeared to be a college student some three years older. My clothes were a blouse, and a short skirt with leggings, appearing to be a male trying too hard to be feminine.

Megan Hach would go with me as two were safer than one. Megan was not fully comfortable with what I was doing, she agreed it would be better to delay it. The drive there allowed me to settle my nerves some and to get into character. Where The Flowery Saddle Pup attracted a wider crowd of lesbians, the LGBT, and a fair share of straight singles and couples. The Laughing Kilt was primarily a gay bar with entertainment.

I did have another’s I.D. to get in. Megan soon told our waiter that she came to help me, Jolene, get acclimated to being here dressed as I was. I had seen a picture of Brien, but at a glance, he didn’t appear to be there. Travis our waiter knew of Brien.

It was after 10:00 when Brien showed up at the pub. He stopped by and said, “I heard a rumor you weren’t going to show and it was supposed to be tomorrow night not now.” I was caught speechless until Brien took me to dance with him.

His manhood was soon pushing up against me. And when I did inform him that I was delaying our date; he said, Steph’s setting up things was not a good omen.” He told me he was clean and said modestly he could bring me the feminine experience, I supposedly wanted.

Though the location was not ideal for Megan, we did dance together. Megan confessed, “I’ve wanted to be with you, and I wouldn’t mind being a girlfriend, but I never imagined this.”

“I have my confession,” I said, “I find it easier to be closer to women. But I was told I needed to have a man to know I’m truly a girl inside.”

Megan began to giggle, “You mean, you have thousands of us wanting to be your friend and wear your clothes, and you don’t know you’re real?”

I’m supposed to call Brien if we’re to get together.

But once Megan and I are back at my apartment; we decide the rest of the night is our time. We talk, dance, and fall asleep together, but nothing is to be intimate yet.

Story to be continued…

It was July when the County Attorney met with me and other witnesses for the trial against Ph.D. Cozier. The trial was scheduled for September, and the County Attorney tried to get the date changed away from the beginning of school but was unsuccessful. One other student from the university was involved and the time of the trial would be difficult for our learning.

JC Harper and my sister Leah supported me to see the trial through. Ruben Martin the County Attorney had met with me several times before the trial and said he was surprised with my maturity. I told him, “It came with my newfound talent in designing clothes and becoming Andrea.”

He asked, “How long before that did you find out you were transgender?”

I said, “It was a process, that emerged after I started wearing some of my clothes and entering a women’s world, but I think I always was intrigued with women and their world.”

Attorney Ruben Martin was relatively glad when Ph.D. Jean Cozier took the stand for himself. He argued that I entrapped him, and forced him to take on a persona that was not him. He stated he did not see himself as overly attractive but knew students had different reasons for being attracted to him.

Once I took the stand his attorney Mr. Marble tried to discredit me, thinking I’d break under his cross-examination. “Mr. Marble, I took Dr. Cozier’s class because I could learn from him; though I heard he did not like clothing designers to see our work as art. His ridicule wasn’t a surprise. His in-class haranguing of me went beyond what I expected and I finally saw it as abusive power. Others will be able to verify both when Cozier thought we were out of earshot or in public for what it was.”

Dr. Cozier spoke up from the Defendant’s table which grew into an outburst that the Judge gaveled and told him he was out of order. It happened again the next day when I was back on the stand. He burst out and said, “Your buying into a Pub showed that you were a slut in over her head.”

Being on the stand, I reiterated, “Isn’t your use of your position more by you being a bully?”

He yelled, “You are a spoiled little rich girl as the others I humbled?”

The Judge hammered the court into silence and then met with the attorneys in his chambers. Judge Bean tried to settle the case with Silva Jackson and me approving the reduced charges. Neither of us was willing unless a public confession of the professor and the University were to be made.

Once both were made public and inserted into the record; I was satisfied. We would go after each part for damages.

=^_^=~

The settling of damages came quickly, but the amount from the university was surprising. The settlement of $500,000 was mind-boggling to me, but JC Harper told me it would be a small change; if my career would take a major hit at this time. Three to six months later I became confident that we were not harmed by accusations against me.

My high school graduation was in December just before Christmas.

Jenny Connors had begun at North State in the fall and we were once again best of friends, but amid college life, she found her interests elsewhere. We both had changed and we grew apart.

Becoming a college student, along with my emerging career has the feeling that I can move on with my life. I’ve attended two fashion conferences in New York City and North Carolina, and I’ve been delighted to have Megan with me both times. We’ve agreed to give the relationship two years, before considering marriage.

My mother is welcome to use Andrew’s old apartment when she stays on campus visiting Leah or me.

My most recent growth in designing fashion has come in the areas of designing wedding gowns and special orders for society women. It is truly a learning experience leaving more than a few designs on the floor. It can be costly, and most of the cost is mine.

I am no angel, but Steph’s encouragement to let a guy have his way with me; led to a falling out between us. I finally challenged Steph by asking if she needed to prove she was a woman. It was Megan Hach’s help that helped the maturing of my image. We’ve become an item, though not exclusively.

Jennifer Lach and Clara Kelley both from my first art class with Mr. Murphy are getting married and I wanted my gift to each to be a wedding gown. They were easy to draw up according to my original memory of them. But they had both changed and meeting them again led to a maturing of myself. Having to measure them, and seeing their adult bodies became surreal experiences for me. My senses were now becoming sensitized to the aroma of a woman in love.

Jennifer had remained thin, though her breasts were fuller than I remembered. She showed me a photo of Cal her fiancé. He was two years ahead of her at their university. Unlike her petite prom dress her wedding gown would be of traditional length. We were both back home for a week as I designed it and wrote out in detail the fabric, lace, netting, veil, and more. We were back again two months before the wedding for the final fitting. She was easy to fit.

Clara was still the dazzling beauty I knew from high school, but she had filled out in the hips and bosom while remaining slender. She was a full-size C, and she did not want to cover that up, nor did she want to be wearing a bra in addition to a corset. We were casual friends in the art class, and she wanted me to design and make her gown, but she was not fully comfortable with me being a woman and attending to the close work as her seamstress.

It was the second day of our being together and going into the night; we went to eat together at The Credo. Nick the owner was friendly to see me back, but at my request gave us a table hidden away where we would have more privacy. Clara was moving east hear Boston and was surprised that I knew some people there. During their talk at Credo, Clara felt the kinship that Andrea had for her and the others in that Art Class. She giggled, “Andrea, I can’t believe you’re here for me. You’re now a famous fashion designer helping me with my wedding gown. All this came from that fashion project.”

Andrea let a grin come to her face, “I’m no longer the only guy among us, I’ve changed sides. But I had no idea, even with my sisters all that comes with being a woman. I’m legally changing my name.”

Clara asked, “Does that mean you are going through the transition?”

“I’m taking it in steps; I will fully transition sometime, but as of now all I know is that is in the future. There will always be things you and the others will be able to do, and I won’t.”

Clara asked, “Who’s this Megan coming with you to the wedding?”

“We’ve known each other a year and a half, but it has become more serious and we’re together, sharing much of our lives. It started with us just being friends. While I was still very fond of Terra, I came to have stronger feelings for Megan, I didn’t take them seriously. During my last semester of high school and now taking only college classes, she’s been there for me and we fell together without usually saying anything.”

“So who’s in love with her Andrew or Andrea?” Clara asked.

“Andrew could love her, but it’s me,” Andrea said. “I can’t say how I know, but I do.”

Clara finally asked about Mr. Murphy, “Did you and Mr. Murphy ever patch things up?”

“I realized in time that I was a big part of my problem, and I don’t continue to dislike him. But no, there’s been no patching things up; it’s more like water under the bridge. I don’t feel a need to go back there.”

Clara said, “I had him for three art classes. I hope you don’t mind but he’s invited to the wedding and reception.”

I laughed, “That’s fine, I’ll be good. If needed for others there, I’d apologize or disappear into the crowd.”

It took the next morning to finish and fit Clara and her wedding gown, and both of us were over the moon as the gown was everything Clara had hoped for. I got a photo of her in her gown and it is at the front of my portfolio.

I hope to see Mr. Murphy and her wedding. I wanted the distance between us to be in the past. I hoped he’d give me a hug to help show the bad air was over between the two of us. We’d have to wait and see.

=^_^=~

JC Harper texted me. “What’s with you; you’re doing some of your best work. I want to know if anything has inspired you that I don’t know about?”

Besides Megan Hach in my life, it is probably being in touch with two original art students. It puts things back into perspective; I do this because I love it. I can give you much of the credit; because you encouraged me to keep control of what I’m designing.

I soon called my Mom and Dan picked up her phone. I said, “Good, I might as well start by thanking you. You and Mom have been good to me. He asked, “I am enjoying what I do, and that would never have happened if you and Mom didn’t encourage me or teach me to be disciplined in how I go about things. I love you. Now can I talk to my mother?”

I heard Dan laugh as he handed the phone to my mother and say, “Your youngest daughter is either crazy or she’s everything we hoped.”

Mom asked, “What did you do that has swept Dan off his feet?”

I said, “Things are so that I decided to call and thank you and him for all you’ve done. You have blessed me with a good Father and he has allowed you to be the best of yourself.”

Mom said, “If you’re not doing anything special; come it would be a good night to introduce you to wine and cheese.”

I asked, “What is so fantastic about wine and cheese?”

She said, “It’s the people you share it with. It just sounds like a good night to sit back and enjoy.”

“Can you call Leah and see if she can share it with us?”

Mom said, “I, she comes; she’s likely to bring someone special in her life.”

I know the smile couldn’t be seen on the other end of the phone, but I was happy. I asked, “Can you tell me who it would be?”

“That would be for Leach to do, but you will see for yourself if they come,” Mom told me.

I had just stopped at Carrie Druthers, who was the store owner who had mentored me, and I had already rang the doorbell. I quickly hoped Carrie wouldn’t be home, but she was and was happy to see me.

“Carrie, could you do me a favor and go with me to my folks for wine and cheese?” She looked at me, “You came here to ask me that?”

“No, I came to visit, but I had called and thanked my parent for all they did and they invited me for wine and cheese. There’s no group I would want to share a special moment with that didn’t include you.”

Carrie said, “I’ll take that as a high compliment. Let me grab a bottle of wine and some good bread.” I suggested Carrie bring a change of clothes depending on how well we enjoyed the evening. She did.

I’ve never known Carrie Druthers to miss being late at the store, which tickled me that this was a possibility. When we got to the house and before we sat down, I took Carrie to see a few designs I was working on.

Carrie smiled, “I like how you are progressing as a designer; there are skirt fabrics you’ve designed together that show a maturity that comes only with time and experience.

When we went out to where people were gathering; I saw Leah with Micah from college, but Micah was all woman. I had seen her, but never met her or knew she was an item with my sister Leah.

My mother thanked Carrie for coming and bringing a vintage bottle of wine, bread, and cheese. Introductions went all around and everyone settled in two love seats or two soft chairs along with the case with Carrie and me. I became a bit embarrassed as stories soon started about me from the beginning of designing and then wearing the dress I made.

Micah said, “So you are that Andrew who has since become Andrea of Andrea’s
Threads?” She said, “But if you don’t mind my being too nosy, your boobs appear to be real.”

“They’re an impressive B cup that with a little help, they can become a ‘C’.”

Dan spoke, “I hope this is not going to be an estrogen-laden evening?”

It settled into an evening of leisure and getting to know one another. Carrie mentioned expanding her store; that people were coming to hear about where Andrew and Andrea had gotten started. Invariably, they would meet other customers who had met me and usually had some of my clothing. “When people heard that you started designing clothes during a discussion. The thought we were making up stories…”

Everyone slept at our house; except I slept with visions of Micah fondling my sister’s breasts under her sweater. I imagined more was happening now in Leah’s bedroom.

=^_^=~

I woke up with my mother telling me that I had a call; from the county attorney about my Ph.D. Crosier. I took the call and found that Jean Crosier had cut off his ankle monitor, but had been coming in our direction before he got rid of it….

Story to be continued…

Previously: Carrie said, “I’ll take that as a high compliment. Let me grab a bottle of wine and some good bread.” I suggested Carrie bring a change of clothes depending on how well we enjoyed the evening...
I saw Leah with Micah from college, but this Micah was all woman. I had seen her, but never met her or knew she was an item with sister Leah…
Micah said, “So you really are that Andrew who has since become Andrea of Andrea’s
Threads?…”
Everyone slept at our house; with no problems except me, having seen Micah fondling my sister’s breasts under her sweater. I imagined more happening in Leah’s bedroom…
I woke up with my mother telling me that I had a call; from the county attorney pertaining to my Ph.D. Crosier. I took the call and found that Dr. Jean Crosier had cut off his ankle monitor, but had been coming in our direction before he got rid of it….

Now: It was a half hour after I was awake that Detective Patricia O’Reilly was at the front door. My mother answered the door and invited her in, stating that I was awake but getting ready for the day.

Det. Patricia said, “I would just like to visit with her and you about Professor Crozier. She doesn’t need to dress up for me.”

Mom said, “I think she wants to put on a good face. It is a bit of Andrew being carried over. She’s probably anxious about Crosier, but it is not in Andrew’s DNA to show it. Andrea’s way is with her appearance.”

I sensed someone was there, but no one called for me, so I wasn’t sure. I hurried downstairs; I had no expectation of anyone from near my apartments or the university to be coming. I stopped in my tracks as soon as I saw Det. O’Reilly. I was in shock, “Is it that bad that you needed to come all the way here?”

Pat smiled, “No, I asked for permission to come and make sure you are alright, and that the authorities here take Crozier’s actions seriously. The Professor has nothing to gain by hurting; unless it would be to take revenge. He will be caught and now he will be in more trouble. The Judge is likely to take this into account and increase his sentence when, not if he’s caught.”

I quickly sat down, “I’m sorry, but it bothered me hearing he had broken his stay at home while he awaited the Judge’s sentence. And a decision on his appeal. I am glad you cared enough to come, but it scares me all the same.”

“I was either going to Carrie’s store or busy myself designing another outfit or two.” I gulped and my stomach growled. “I need to have some breakfast, or I’m going to get sick. Would you mind if we meet in the kitchen?”

Pat steps to me and opened her arms. I walked into her hug, and I knew I dampened her shoulder though I made no sound of crying. Pat embraced me and let me stay there as long as I needed. She consoled me, “We don’t think he will come after you, but we don’t want to take any chances.”

She says, “I’d rather you not go to the Towne Shoppe today as it is a public place with different people coming and going.” I get a bowl of cereal with berries and a cup of yogurt. Mom starts cooking breakfast for the others and Dan comes in from the master bedroom. His son Jay and my sister Leah and Micah were soon down in the kitchen as well. I found out that Carrie had left early to go home and change for work.

Patricia said, “This is one of the few signs of seeing you as a regular teenager. Being anxious is quite normal, but Professor Crozier will probably be spotted if he comes anywhere near here. He is more likely heading for the airport to get himself lost somewhere else.” She pauses, “His finances are frozen so he is traveling with limited means.”

She says, “One thing we’d like to know from you; is if you thought he could convincingly disguise himself as a woman?”

The question came with a bite of food in my mouth; and the comical thought of the possibility. I finished the bite and swallowed. I envisioned him that time at the pub. I hadn’t recognized him right away. “He didn’t make an attractive woman when I saw him, but he was passable enough that I hadn’t recognized him at first.” I said, “With wigs and a different style of clothes he/she has a number of looks that would be possible. But I doubt that he could disguise himself as anyone younger than himself.”

Micah giggled and then excused herself from making any noise. Instead of a distraction, it broke the atmosphere from becoming overly serious.

I was halfway through my breakfast and beginning to relax.

Patricia received a phone call and excused herself to take it privately. She was soon back in the kitchen. “He has swapped stolen vehicles and we now have a full description of his vehicle. He’s coming in this direction but could be traveling to the airport or other transportation at the capital as well.”

My step-father spoke up, “I have several friends in the local police as well as the local National Guard outfit. They have two pictures of Professor Crozier and they will be providing extra sets of eyes watching for him. They will not seek to take any action but to inform the authorities.”

Patricia says, “While I appreciate your thinking, it could be more problematic than helpful. We ask that you do not do that.”

Patricia stayed around planning to leave at one p.m. if there was no growing concern. By 9:00 a.m., Patricia was watching me as I worked on some dress designs. One was for the holidays and the others were for winter. They were all requests from the two companies that I was associated with.

Pat asked, “How can you design for the holidays or next winter when we’re just beginning the summer season?”

I told her, “I’ve begun designing for next spring already, but two fashion changes require another item for Christmas and several for the winter season. Global warming has made for some items for warmer weather. Two will be for layered fashion items.” Needless to say, Patricia had not thought of how the fashion world had to plan ahead.

I had become bored and feeling Closter-phobic, and by noon announced I needed to get out and was going to Carries Towne Shoppe. Patricia invited herself along and would leave when I left there.

We arrived and the store just after one, and it was like coming home. Most of the staff were the same, with the addition of two high girls working there for the summer. Carrie had texted me that a few customers would be coming back, hoping to see me.

It was after two o’clock when I came out from the stock room that I saw what could be Jean Crozier dressed as Jeanne. I recognized her earring when I saw her at the pub. Her mule shoes and his walk gave him away. I called to him, “Jeanne, I hope you didn’t come to cause any trouble. Detective Patricia O’Reilly is here and she or I will stop you; if you did.”

Crozier started to turn around and had a cane he/she was ready to swing. She had turned over halfway around and began to lower the wooden cane. “You are ruining my life; you know I was a good professor.”

I waited for Crozier to fully turn and face me; before I said, “You are the one responsible for damaging your career, by demeaning others and playing god with your authority. You blame me; because I stood up to you. If it was just me, that would have been bad enough.”

His face turned beet red, and his anger bubbled up again. He began to swing his cane violently, but I threw a coat over it and his arm. Quickly, charged him and took him to the ground. Det. O’Reilly was soon there to pull us apart and to cuff him as she read him his rights.

Police Chief Bradley Cooper was there with two officers to take Crozier into custody. He told me I could stay at the store as long as I stopped at the station later. Ken Strong one of the officers stayed with us at the store. He would interview Det. O’Reilly, others, and me quite informally.

Bradley was a twenty-six-year-old officer, who had married within the past year and taken back being in a women’s clothing store. He knew of me, but not me very well. Learning that her husband was there; Teri his wife was there within half an hour.

Once we met, she said, “I’ve been looking forward to meeting you sometime, but I’m sorry about the circumstances.”

One could tell that Bradley had probably been a star football player and she was an attractive cheerleader. They had come from the eastern part of the state and were surprised they liked being in a smaller town. However, Carrie informed me that Teri had not yet found a job as a computer specialist. Which meant they were living on a single income of a police officer.

I asked Teri, “Are there any of my dresses or outfits here that you haven’t gotten to try on?”

She smiled and truthfully said, “I haven’t been trying on a lot lately as we’re just getting settled in as a couple.”

“Are there some you’ll be interested in,” I asked, “after a good job comes along?” Her eyes perked up, and then I asked, “Let’s see if we can find two to welcome you to the community?”

She said, “But I couldn’t impose upon you.”

Carrie spoke up, “You’re not imposing upon her; she is the one who asked. This is very like Andrea. She considers herself blessed, and this is a way that she pays things forward.”

Teri chose one of my outfits that I quickly chose a similar outfit that was a couple of grades up. I said, “This would be better for presenting yourself for an interview.” She took the outfit making a change in the blouse as it was more to her liking in color. The dress she chose would be good for a special night out.

She and Detective Patti O’Reilly got to talking as Teri had changed into the dress. Needless to say, Patti had told her about my designing something for her. I heard Patti say, “I think she has a soft spot for law enforcement.”

I felt a need to qualify her statement. “I have a spot for good law enforcement. But like with every profession, there are some bad apples and sometimes a slowness in acknowledging that. I’m a college student and I don’t buy into the notion the police are good.”

It was a half-hour after Teri had selected her two choices that Officer Bradley announced that Prof. Crozier had changed his clothes and agreed to go back with Patricia O’Reilly to be held in the county jail there.

I was ready to leave Carrie’s store when Megan Hach came walking into the store. When she held out her hands to greet me, I rushed into them and began to cry. Megan gave me some time to cry in her arm, before asking, “What are the tears for?”

“They’re because I love you, and I didn’t know how scared I was about Crozier… You’ve asked me before if I’d marry you. Well the answer is yes, but I should attend college at least another two years and gain some maturity before we tie the knot.”

Megan surprised me when she went to one knee and drew a small box from her purse. “We must be on the same wavelength. Andrea, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

The two years would take us to Megan’s graduation. But it was the following summer when Megan and I were married. I had designed my gown and JC Harper had designed Megan’s. JC also made sure my gown would compliment Megan’s.

The End!