OK, a small series of text messages on my cell phone.

01/09/2015 05:45 AM

Hun, Love you have a good sleeo

01/09/2015 05:47 AM

:-D 69

01/09/2015 10:37 AM

Have a good day

01/09/2015 10:37 AM

Love U

OUTGOING TEXT:

I think you have a wrong number. Jaqui

Final incoming text:

01/09/2015 10:50 AM

Sorry wrong wife

Yes, these messages really did happen, this morning. :)

I thought it was a joke, it couldn't really happen. People's sexual orientation doesn't change, it is what it is and that is the end of it.

Yet, how to explain that I have gone from being attracted to women to being attracted to men, because of transition?

What a mind-fuck this is, my entire world has been tossed upside down. I need to get my head around this. None of my friends, no matter where they fit in the LGBTQ spectrum have been able to help. It isn't just admitting to myself where my interests lie, finally. The male was truly never attractive to me, yet recently the only thing that generates any sort of arousal is picturing being with a man, as a woman, having vaginal intercourse with him.

Oh gods, now I have to figure out what my type is for men as well as getting my head-space straightened out with this.

Hmmm, this seems to be a good way to look at this situation. My Sexual Orientation did not change, with the change in my body chemistry from male to female due to the hormone replacement therapy, my heterosexual orientation stayed the same, my direction if attraction got flipped. I can understand and handle this by thinking about it this way.

Thank the gods my stress level has reduced.

NOTE:

The above literally is my train of thoughts when this happened,condensed from a 6 month* period of soul searching into this posting. [ completely typed out in the post box here on BCTS ]

* Last Spring and Summer actually.

“Johnathon Meadows! We are going to talk about this, right now,” Kelly hissed, reaching up and grabbing Johnathon’s left ear then pulling him to his bedroom.

“Sorry kids, I don’t think Kelly and Johnathon will be coming shopping with you just yet.”

“Uh, yeah that seems fairly clear Mrs. Eastwood,” Veronica responded. “I didn’t think those two ever fought,” she continued to the rest of the group as they left the Eastwood’s.

Judy turned from closing the front door behind the kids and hurried after Kelly and Johnathon, shooting a worried glance at Jessica while whispering, “Any idea what your son said to mine to cause this?” She stopped just far enough up the stairs to see into Kelly’s bedroom, watching as her son pushed the much larger boy backwards until he was sitting on Kelly’s bed, then straddling him without worrying about his skirt riding up.

“Repeat what you said Johnathon, now.”

“I only told you I wished you really were a girl Kelly.”

“WHY would you say that?”

“Because then you could be my girlfriend for real, not just this role-play we have happening for the dance next month.”

Judy glanced as Jessie her eyes twinkling with barely suppressed laughter as they listened in, seeing Jessie was also barely able to control her mirth.

“Johnathon, you remember I spent a month in hospital because of that allergy, did you look up the effects on a male body of having no testosterone like I suggested? Obviously not from that comment.” Pushing Johnathon backwards until he was lying on his back, then reaching down and lifting his top off, while continuing, “Everyone has both Oestrogens and Testosterone in their body, both men and women, except a very few men who, like me, have had a bilateral oridechtomy, usually from cancer, but my allergy to testosterone is not completely unheard of, only extremely rare. So the dominant hormone in my body, the one giving me puberty and shaping my adult body is Oestrogen,” reaching behind his back and undoing his bra, placing it on his top beside them, “Give me your hands.” Reaching out and grabbing Johnathon’s hands then placing the palms on his breasts.

Johnathon’s eyes widened as he felt skin instead of the silicone of breast forms, the question in his eyes clear to Kelly, “How?”

“The doctor told me I have to choose one of 3 options, because of the allergy. I can do nothing, and become what is crudely called a shemale, albeit one that truly looks and sounds female, I can get the breasts removed, and just look and sound like a breast cancer survivor, or I can go for getting my plumbing changed and look and sound like a woman, even with nothing on at all.” putting his bra and top back on while telling Johnathon all this.

“That hospital stay was 3 years ago, why haven’t you said anything before now?”

“How do I tell my best friend that I am becoming a woman? What if he completely freaks and never wants to see me again? What if he flips on me and pounds me into a paste on the sidewalk? Fear Johnathon, that is why I haven’t been able to tell you until today, when your own comment to me told me you wouldn’t get freaked out.”

Judy and Jessie slipped silently down the stairs and into the kitchen.

“Kelly, I have to ask, what choice have you made? Or have you even made one yet?” Sitting up and wrapping his arms around Kelly before continuing, “Will you be my girlfriend for real?”

Kelly threw her arms around Johnathon’s neck and kissed him lingering over the sweet taste, “I always have been yours. I decided I would rather be a girl and started getting oestrogen to bring my level up to female norms at the beginning of summer.”

Johnathon lay back, carefully cradling Kelly until she was lying on top of him, “Think our parents will be happy?”

Slipping to the side and snuggling into Johnathon’s left side, “About the only thing that they will see as different is yours will have a daughter in law after we are married, instead of the son in law they have expected from us.”

"Will, what do you think, should we put some makeup on Gordon?"

I looked over to the next workstation at Sara, Joanne, Liza and Gordon, "Gods no, every time I look at him as is I have to remind myself he is a guy, doing that would make it even harder."

"What is wrong with that?"

"Gord, if you were a girl I would be all over applying to be your boyfriend, you looking even more like a girl would make it harder for me to resist reacting to you like a girl." The bell rang ending the class and we all got up to head out, some of the other girls in class making snide comments on Gordon's appearance.

I heard a commotion ahead in the hall and looked up, saw Gary, Steve and Joe laughing at Gordon on the ground in obvious pain, Gary saying "stay out of my way faggot."

Every went blurred in a wash of red as I leaped forward, snap kicking Gary's knee backwards, punching Joe in the jaw then kicking Steve in the balls before the red receded. Collecting Gordon's books from where they had fallen then helping him up, "You are going to the nurse's office, that pain says you are injured."

"My parents will kill me if I go there, they are the ones that injured me."

I pulled out my cell and sent a text to my case worker with Children's Services, 'Need someone to the Nurse's at Burnaby South, accusation of abuse against parents made, by injured student. Claims injures caused by parents.' "We will fix that problem," I responded, "That should not be happening at all." My cell chimed with an incoming text, '2 minutes.'

We stepped into the nurse's office and when she looked up, "Children's Services will be here shortly, claims of parental abuse have been made."

"What do we have here?"

"Hi Ms. Johnson, my classmate said his parents caused his injuries. I saw him in pain after 3 bullies pushed him down and helped him up then brought him here, texted you right after he told me his parents are the source of the injuries. The bullies also need medical attention now. For the record, I'm going with Gordon to hospital."

"Lets take your shirt off Gordon and take a look," from the nurse as she stepped forward.

Shocked gasps filled the room when the bruising and broken ribs came into view. "Do you have any idea why would your parents do this to you?"

Gordon nodded, "It started 2 years ago when I told them I am a girl not a boy," came in a whisper as he shrunk backwards glancing fearfully at me.

"Hey, Gordon isn't a very feminine name, do you have one that you prefer," I gently responded.

"Pasqual," in a barely audible whisper.

"OK," Reaching forward and gently lifting her face from staring at the floor while moving closer and giving her a kiss, "Consider that my application for that position I mentioned just before class ended."

Feeling Will's fingers lightly pressing up on my chin I looked up, my insides lurched when he kissed me and told me to consider that his application, taking ass deep a breath as I can, "I think the application needs reviewing," then kissing him back.