I wake up. Like always, nobody in the house. My dad doesn't even wake me up for school. He's to busy at his “so called” business. All he does in the business is, he takes a rubber product about the size of a fruit loop and cuts into one end of it. Very exciting. Not sure what the business is and as much as I know, I don't want to know. He said that he wants me to work there, when I turn sixteen. Hell no. I would never work there when I get older.

I get out of bed and rush to the toilet. I always sit down to pee. I have always done this my whole life. My dad would be upset if he knew I peed like a girl. I always lock the door to the room. But one time I forgot and dad came into the room and saw me sitting down. He yelled at me. I made an excuse that I was pooping, which I didn't need to. But because I lied, I had to make myself poop, because my dad was not going to leave, unless I did.

I am smarter now and always lock the door and double check, to make sure I locked it. Dad does get upset when I do and has threatened to take the lock off the door. He never does. I believe it's because he doesn't want to spend the money to pay for a new door knob or something, to replace it.

I finish up by taking a little tissue and wipe. I know, I don't need to, but girls do and I am a girl, so I choose to. I wash my hands and head out of the room. I run downstairs to the kitchen. To my surprise, my dad was still home. I thought he would be at work. He was siting at the table drinking another beer like he did last night. I am so glad I didn't get dressed first.

“Aren’t you suppose to be in school?” He growled.

“School doesn't start until eight-thirty,” I answered.”

Dad jumps out of his chair and walks towards me. I slowly back away. “It's seven twenty-eight, you get your butt upstairs and get some clothes on.” He pushes me across the room, where I hit the wall at full speed, hitting my head. I start to cry. “And don't you be crying! I didn't raise no girl!”

In a way you did, but I won't tell you. I ran upstairs to my room and started looking for some clothes. I'm a little upset that he was home. I wanted to watch my favorite show, like I always do before school. I dug through the top shelve of my dresser and chose the best I could, some gender neutral pants and shirt. It wasn't easy finding any since dad always buys my clothes for me.

My girl clothes I stole from clothes lines. But not all of it was stolen. Some of them I payed for. I sold some of my own stuff to buy my clothes, like that dress. I really wanted that dress. Every time I wear it, I feel like I am a princess. A princess like those from Disney or something like that. If I lost that, I wouldn't know what I would do. I love that dress so much.

Dad was standing outside my bedroom, drinking a beer and watching. So I couldn't put a set of girl clothes into my school bag. What I was wearing was the best I could do for today. I was worried that he would catch me.

“You better make it to the bus boy,” he snarled. “If you miss it, you're walking. And I better not hear that your tardy from class or causing trouble in school again.”

I looked outside. It was starting to rain.

“Can I have an umbrella or something?” I asked.

“An umbrella?!” Dad hollered. “Umbrellas are for girls.”

“No there not,” I explained. “I see boys use them all the...”

SMACK!!

I got hit in the face, which made me start crying.

“Don't you get smart with me. And what did I tell you about crying!”

I continued crying and ran out the house. I don't care what dad said. I can't stop crying. His hand was strong. I make it to the bus stop and stand under the bus shelter to stay dry. A little late for that. I was drenched.

When the bus finally came, the bus driver looked at me and shook his head. I sat down on the first seat I was able to find. Every kid on the bus wouldn't let me sit with them. This hurt my feelings. I wish that sometime, I would have a day that I would be treated like everyone else.

When I got to school, my teacher Mrs. Tupy had us take a math test. I wasn't really good at math and was worried that I wasn't going to do well. I started to tear up.

The test was hard all the questions were confusing to me.

'Lisa lives on the ninth floor of a building. There are thirty-six stairs between two connecting floors. How many stairs does Lisa have to climb to reach the ninth floor, starting from the first floor?'

I looked at that problem for a long time. I thought to myself. “Okay, if there were thirty-six stairs...”

Just then, I felt my hair being pulled.

“Ow!,” I cried. “I turn around with tears in my eyes and look at a boy named Mark. He has been picking on me since the first grade “You idiot! Why did you pull my hair?”

“I didn't do anything,” he lied.

“Yes you did,” I bawled”

Mrs. Tupy walked over to us. “What's going on here?!”

“Mark Plantz pulled my hair!” I cried pointing at Mark.

“I did not!” Mark argued. I kept crying. My head was hurting.

“You did pull my...” I looked around the room. Everyone in the class was staring at me and I was feeling a bit embarrassed. I choked on my words, threw my test and ran out of the room.

“Noah, get back here!” Mrs. Tupy demanded. I kept running. I ran down the hall and hid in the girls room in one of the stalls.

A few minutes later, I could hear the principal, Ms. Stone calling for me. She was just outside the girls room I knew I was going to be in big trouble. I couldn't stay here forever I left the stall and slowly walked out the door. Ms. Stone was at the door when I got out. I looked up at her.

“Noah, you know better than to walk out of class and even worse walking into the girls bathroom,” she scolded. “Come with me to my office.” I quietly walked with her and sat down on a chair. “Noah, I'm going to have to call you dad...”

“No!” I cried” “Don't tell him I went into the girls room!”

“I won't tell him you went in the girls room,” Ms. Stone promised “But I have to tell him, you disrupted class and ran out of it again.”

I looked down a my shoes. I knew I was going to get it when I got home. I sat there quietly while she called my dad. I looked out the window. The ocean was pretty. I wish I could go there and swim in it. I use to go there a lot when mom was living with us. Now that she left us, we don't go there anymore.

I miss my mom. I look at my shoes again. I wonder what she is doing right now? I want to be with her, instead of dad. I don't know why she left me. She didn't even say goodbye. I feel tears falling down my face.

I look over at Ms. Stone, she is talking on the phone. I wonder what dad is thinking. Most likely thinking of taking out the belt or something worse. I look outside again. The rain had stopped. Why hadn't it stopped earlier when I was heading to the bus? That's a bit annoying. The sky is pretty. A beautiful blue. It's my third favorite color after pink and purple.

Out in the distance, there's a rainbow. Make that a double rainbow. Those ones are very rare to see. I have only seen one of those once before. I wish I had a camera, I would love to take a picture of…

“Noah?”

I looked away from the window and back at Ms. Stone. “Your dad was not at work and I didn't get through to him at home. I left a message for him at his work... For now, I want you to head back to class and don't cause anymore problems. You understand me?”

I nodded

“Okay, you be a good little boy and I don't want to see you in here again today.”

I hate it when people call me a boy. I headed out of her office.

I made it back to class, but the test was over, which means I failed. Dad was not going to be happy with me. I quietly sat down at my desk and lied my head on my hands. I knew Mark planned on doing something again, but what was I suppose to do?

Mrs. Tupy was teaching English. She could tell I wasn't really happy. But I listened the whole class.

When lunch came along, Everyone went in line. I sat down at the table like I always do. Dad never pays for lunch for me and he makes too much for free or reduced lunch for me to qualify for those programs.

I can't even bring my own bag lunch to school, since dad never goes grocery shopping. None of the teachers even notice. And if they do, I don't think they even do anything about it.

One week last year, dad didn't even come home from work. There was no food at home, like always and there was no money. That was the hardest week for me. I had to beg for food. School wouldn't give me any and sometimes I'd end up not eating anything for a few days. The only thing I was able to do, was drink water. That filled my stomach enough to make it feel full.

Mark on purposes sat down at the table I am sitting at and starts eating his food in front of me. He makes sure I am watching every second. He even plays around and tries to give me some and then takes it away before I am able to get it. It makes me mad that he does that and sometimes I wish I could stick his tray up his butt.

During recess, I don't do much. I just swing on the swings or jump rope. I don't have friends to play with. The only friend I have is Jeremy, the gas station attendant. He's twenty-six years old, but he's really nice to me. He doesn't mind me being transgender. If it wasn't for him calling me yesterday, I would have been caught from my dad for wearing a dress. But I have no friends my own age. All of them think I am a freak. They don't want to be friends with me because I am transgender.

The rest of the day was okay, I guess, but when it came to Phy Ed, or Physical Education. I didn't like it. Mr. Garrington the Phy Ed teacher, was very strict. To him, all boys were suppose to do sports. Girls could do sports if they wanted to. For me, I knew I was a girl, but to Mr. Garrington, I was a boy and I was forced to do sports.

I told him I was transgender, but to him, he thinks like my dad. A boy is a boy and will never be a girl and a girl is a girl and will never be a boy.

Every time I would refuse, he would force me to do push ups, until I agreed to do the sport he chose for the day. Today was football. I hated football a lot. It's a rough sport and makes me sweat. The boys are rough on me and would purposely plow me over because I am the weakest one on the team. I hate being in Phy Ed.

When school was over, I went back on the bus and sat alone. I wish my life was better. But it seems like it's not going to change.

I hated taking the bus home. If I were able to, I would walk home. I live two and a half miles from school. In fact I can see the school from my front lawn, if I look in between the neighbors houses across the street. It may look like a little dot, in a way, but it's still not far.

If I were able to walk to and from school, I wouldn't have to deal with the kids teasing me on the bus. The worst thing is, the bus driver doesn't even do anything about it. He just shakes his head and keeps driving.

I am sitting in my seat, hearing the kids whispering. I wish they would just talk normally and not about me.

It feels like always, right on cue, everyday Mark Plantz would walk up and sit down next to me. Today, he started squishing me in my seat.

“Ow!” I yell. “Stop it! That hurts!” I start to cry.

“Oh, look at the dickless wonder. He's crying.” Mark laughed, which made everyone else laugh as well.

I hate it when he calls me that. I have been called lots of names, but being called dickless wonder, is the most humiliating thing anyone ever calls me. I continue crying. Not because he called me names, but because he kept pushing harder. I was starting to run out of breath.

I look outside, trying to get my mind off the pain. I pray that someone or something could help me at this moment. I almost start to pass out, when I hear a crash which made me, Mark and I'm guessing the entire bus jump. That stopped Mark from squishing me and now everyone was screaming.

The crash came from the front of the bus. There was glass all over the place. On the floor A seagull was laying dead. It crashed through the front window of the bus. He must have been flying pretty fast to be able to break through that type of window.

I could see the bus driver had pulled over to the side of the road and was talking on the CB Radio. I couldn't hear anything, because everyone was talking at once. A few minutes later, The bus driver got up from his seat and looked up at us.

“I'm sorry boys and girls,” he said over the mic from the radio. “But because of this accident, the bus will not be able to bring you home. We are working on getting another bus at this time.” He started walking toward the back. He was away from the mic and started yelling. “Because of all the glass, I want all of you to start heading through the back door and wait on the side of the bus near the curb. I do not want anyone playing around out there. Highway 212 is unsafe for pedestrians.”

He takes out flare and a cone. He then opens the back door jumps out and sets up the flares and cones on the road. Everyone starts heading out of the bus one by one. When I got off, Mark and another boy named Bradley, tripped me and I fell on my face and started crying. Everyone started laughing, including the bus driver.

On my hands and knees, I looked up at the group watching them laugh. Tears were falling from my face. My hands and chin were scraped up. I looked away from everyone and noticed my house was just down the road. I got up and started running. I didn't care if the bus driver was yelling my name, I was not going to deal with them anymore.

When I got up to my house, I noticed that dad's car was still in the driveway in the same place he had it this morning. He didn't even leave for work. I could see smoke in the backyard. Was he grilling? This was new. He hasn't grilled since mom was living with us. I ran to the back of the house and saw in horror, dad had my girl clothes and was burning them on the grill.

“NOOOOOO!” I screamed. I ran over and started hitting him. Dad took out his belt and started beating me with it.

“I will not have a fagot living in my house!” He yelled, while beating me.

I don't know what got into me, but at that point, I had enough energy in me and so much anger, that I pushed him as hard as I could far across the lawn where he just lied there. I stood there looking at him. I was scared. I didn't know what I did. I think I killed him.

I looked at the grill and saw my clothes on it. Not all of my clothes were on the grill. It looked like only two or three were. The rest were still on the ground. I must have gotten here just in time. If I stayed near the bus, I wouldn't have any clothes.

I looked at my dad on the ground. I was very mad at him. I walk over and scooped up my clothes from off the ground and noticed my dress was not with the collection. It looked like just a bunch of my dresser clothes. My dress must still be in the closet. I ran up to my room to look for it.

To my shock, my room was torn apart. He must have been looking for more girl things. This was not a good sign. I broke open my closet and started panicking. I didn't see it anywhere. It was not hanging up the way I put this morning. I pushed the clothes aside and breathed a sigh of relief. I found my dress. He did not see it. It fell on the floor. I sighed again. I took my dress and the rest of my clothes and stuffed it all in my backpack. He was not going to find them now.

I sat down on my bed and cried. I can't believe he would look through my things. I continued to cry, but then got up quickly. In the air, I can smell smoke. It smelt like wood burning. I looked out the window and saw that dad was not lying on the ground. His car was gone. On the corner of the building I could see flames. He set the house on fire! He was trying to burn me alive!

I grabbed my backpack and ran downstairs. The smoke was in the air. I was coughing a lot. I ran to the door and tried to open it. But I couldn't. He had locked it from the outside. I could see a padlock was locking the door shut. I tried to run to the backdoor, but the fire was already in the kitchen. I screamed.

Choking on smoke, I had to get some air.

I ran back upstairs and went to my room. I tried to open my window, but it wouldn't budge. It was nailed shut. Dad had nailed it shut! I was coughing so hard. I look behind me and can see flames coming from the staircase. I couldn't go down the stairs. I ran and shut my door.

The air was unbreathable. I was suffocating I had to break the window, but how? I looked around my room. On the floor, I saw my lamp. I grabbed it and started hitting the window breaking the glass. I stepped outside and didn't have much time to think, I had to jump.

Screaming, I made it to the ground, where I landed on my backpack. I was very lucky I didn't break my leg or arm. Very lucky I got out of the room when I did, the roof to my room collapsed in. The whole house was engulfed in flames.

I watched it burn, but started panicking and began to run. I didn't want to be near the house. I didn't want to be there seeing the house I grew up in get burned to the ground. I kept on running. I didn't look back.

After awhile, I stopped running and sat down on the curb. I could hear sirens in the background. I knew they were heading to my house. I started crying again. I wiped my tears and looked at the smoke in the sky. It was really dark. I can't believe dad would burn the house down. And with me in it.

A man, walking his dog went by me. He didn't even ask if I was okay. He was to interested in the fire. This just shows how much people care for others. I got up and start walking. I had to keep my mind off the house. I look up in the sky. It was still light out. I had plenty of daylight left in the day, before it got dark. I wasn't sure where I was going to go tonight. I had no home.

My stomach growled. I haven't eaten anything since dinner last night and even then, that wasn't enough. I had to find some food. I walked down the streets until I found a park. I wish I went to parks. Dad never brought me to parks. He always had me do work around the house. I was never allowed to leave. If I did, then it was the belt or the whip. The park I found had two baseball fields and a play area. There were lots of people there. This complicated things.

I felt a little embarrassed looking for food in the trash. People were staring at me. Because of that, I had to leave the park. I couldn't handle people watching me look for food.

I walk down the road and start looking through garbage in alleys. Dogs kept barking, which made people look out their windows. I will never be able to find food. I wonder how the homeless find food? I 've seen homeless in Brookings many times, but they seem to be well fed.

I walked down the road to a nearby diner and checked the trash there. A lady, which I believe was a waitress came out of the building with a bag and saw me.

I froze.

We both stared at each other for a little while and then I started running.

I run until I'm out of sight of the diner and start walking down the road. My stomach was still hurting from no food. I suddenly hear the sound of police sirens. I start walking faster. The sirens were getting closer, I begin to run. I see lights behind me. My run drops to a jog and then to a walk. I stopped and waited. I knew that they were after me and I couldn't do anything about it. If they wanted me, I would just end the chase here.

The police car suddenly sped past me. They were in a high speed chase with a car, which scared me when they were speeding by. They weren't after me after all. I walk over to a nearby pond and look at my reflection. I'm shaking.

After about a minute of breathing, I continue walking down the road. A moment later, a car pulls up next to me. The passenger window rolls down. To my surprise, the lady from the diner was in the car.

“Hi there,” She smiled “I believe you need some help.”

I look up at the lady in the car. My eyes start to water, which I fall to the ground. The lady gets out of her car and runs over to me. I put my hands to my face to try to wipe the tears away. She picks me up and cuddles me. This makes me stop crying. I have not been held like this in years. Last time I was cuddled, was from my own mom. I put my head on her shoulder.

She brought me to her car and set me down on her seat. When she shut the door, she stood there for a minute and started talking on her phone. I wasn't sure what she was saying, because the radio was on in her car.

“...in Brookings, Oregon this afternoon, where a fire broke out at a house. Luckily there was no one at home the time the fire started. Fire fighters believe this was done on accident. They found a grill in back still burning. The Brookings Fire Chief had this to say. “When you leave your house for any reason and you are grilling, please make sure your grill is put out entirely.”

I stopped listening to the radio. They don't know what happened. The nice lady got into her car. I didn't even know she was done with her phone call. She sure talked fast. She did not start driving. She stayed put.

“So little girl, what's your name?” she asked. I was surprised. No one ever called me a girl. I was about to cry again. I looked back at her again. “How about this, I will tell you my name, then you tell me yours. Is that alright, sweetie?”

I nodded.

“My name is Nikki.”

“My name is Ki… Kiara.” I was a little nervous, but that was the first time I ever mentioned my name to anyone, besides my friend Jeremy.

“How old are you?” Nikki asks with a smile.

“I just turned ten in November.” I am starting to feel a little relaxed. I get more comfortable in my seat.

“Where do you live and where are your parents?” She asked me. I start to cry again and looked out at the smoke in the air, coming from my house a few blocks away. I looked up at her, I can see the concerned look on her face.

“Are you hungry? Of course your hungry.” She started the car. “how about I take you to a restaurant and we can talk a little more, is that alright?”

I nodded with a smile. I still had tears running down my face, but I just wiped them away. I start kicking my feet up and down in my seat. I am excited. I haven't had anything good to eat in days. She waited until I buckled my seat belt and then we pulled away.

I wonder what restaurant we were going? We drove a little ways up to all so famous McDonald's . As we pull into the parking lot, I started screaming. Nikki stopped the car and tried to calm me down.

“What's wrong, Kiara?” I kept screaming and pointing to a vehicle in the parking lot.

“There! There!”

What I was pointing to, was my dads car. He had parked it there and had gone in to eat. I could see him inside the building eating a burger.

“Whose car is that?”

“My dad's car!”

She looked closely towards the car and then at dad inside. I hope she doesn't go in and talk to him or something. I start crying and try hiding myself from his view.

“Let's find a different place to eat,” she said and started driving away. I hope he didn't see me. As we drove, she kept looking towards me a few times. We ended up going to the KFC down the street from where we were.

“You stay here for a second, I need to call someone quick, then we can go in and eat.”

She hopped out of the car and started calling someone on her phone. I couldn't hear that well. She had the radio on still. I turned it down so I could hear her conversation.

“… a white, Dodge Omni. Not sure what year…yes in the McDonald’s eating a burger…she's with me at the KFC here in Brookings…I believe she is a victim in a house fire…oh really?…wow!…poor girl…”

She looks at me. I jump and look away. After a while, she gets back in the car to see me. “You ready for some food. My tummy starts growling at the word of food. Which makes me giggle. “I believe so,” she laughed.

We held hands walking into the KFC. I kept looking around my shoulder. We ended up ordering a chicken bucket with drumsticks, mashed potatoes with gravy, coleslaw, potato salad, and some biscuits. When we got to the table, she helped put the food on my plate. She didn't even finish putting everything on the plate, I was already devouring the food.

Nikki wasn't surprised that I was eating so fast. If you haven't eaten any food for days, you would be eating fast too. A family in the table next to us was watching me eat. I wasn't paying any attention to them.

“What a pig,” the mother of the family barked.

Nikki looked at her angrily.

“Hey, give her a break! She hasn't eaten in a few days. Her dad has neglected her and according to the police, she has just become homeless, because her house was burned down this afternoon! If you have a problem with her, find another table!”

I stopped eating and looked at Nikki and the family. I felt ashamed for the way I was eating. I took another chicken and started eating slower.

“I'm sorry,” the mother apologized. “We normally don't see anyone act this way.”

Just then, about five police cars were speeding down the road with their lights and sirens on. The children of the family including I were all looking out the window. They were heading into the McDonald's parking lot. One police car drove into the KFC parking lot where I am. A police woman and man walked in, Nikki walked over to them and started talking. I continued eating. The police woman walked up to me and started talking to me.

“Hi there,” The police officer knelled down next to me. “My name is Officer Judy. What's your name?”

“Kiara,” I answered.

“What's your birth name?”

I started crying. How did she know? Nikki didn't know… or did she?

“Don't worry, we will use both names in the report and I will continue calling you Kiara.”

I started to smile. “It's Noah,” I looked at the family next to us. They were a bit surprised to know that I was a boy.

“Where do you live?” The police officer asked a lot of questions. Some were hard, especially since I don't have a home and my relationship with my dad. She said that some company called Child Protection Services has been notified? I was a bit confused.

While I was being questioned, I continued eating. Eventually, she left and joined Nikki and the other officer. The family had left a while ago. They seem to be a little upset when they left, but I was glad that they were gone.

After a while, Nikki came back with the two officers.

“Well Kiara, we were talking to Nikki here. She has stated to us that she is a foster parent for people like you.” the male officer spoke.

“What do you mean?” I tilted my head to one side.

Nikki sat down next to me. “I run a company down in Crescent City, California that helps with LGBTQ youth that are neglected, abused and or are runaways. I happen to be up here today, to help my little sister with her cafe, when I saw you looking for food in the trash. I'd like it if you would move in with me in my foster home. There will be lots of other children there as well.”

“Are you okay going with her?” Officer Judy asked me.

I nodded.

“Any questions, please give me a call,” She hands Nikki a card. And as for you Kiara, I wish you best of luck.”

I watch the police officers walk away. I had finished my food awhile ago and was ready to go, Nikki helped me clean the table and we headed out to the car.

While walking to the car, I had something on my mind. “What happened to my dad?”

“He was arrested and is going to be locked up in county jail in Golden Beach. If he is convicted, he will be in prison for ten years to life.”

I hopped in the car and buckled up. “Will I have to see him again?” I whimpered.

“Yes, but you will be speaking to the judge and the jury in court, you don't have to talk to him.” She started the car and headed down the highway towards home, or where I will be calling home. During the ride, I looked out the window. It was dark outside now and there was nothing to see. Eventually I fell asleep, even though it was about a thirty minute ride.

My life is going to be better from now on.

I hope

The smell of the ocean filled the air. I had the window open. Nikki was listening to some country station. She was waiting for a song she requested. She wanted me to hear it. I looked out the window and see a boat on the horizon. It looked like a cruise ship, or something.

“Kiara?” I heard Nikki call for me. “It's on next.”

I look away from the window and at Nikki. I hear on the radio a man speaking.

“This next song is a request, from a local resident that helped out a young child from Brookings, Oregon from an abusive father. She almost died from a fire this afternoon and would have become homeless, if it wasn't for her help. She is safe at this moment. The songs name is Concrete Angel, by Martina McBride”

♫“She walks to school with the...”♫ I was surprised. I never knew that there was a song similar to what just happened to me. While we drove down the road, We listened to the song. I can't believe she wrote this song. It was like she was writing my life. It made me cry a lot.

I could have been an angel right now, if it wasn't for my courage. Talking about angels, I wonder if I have a guardian angel? They usually help out people that are in trouble on earth, or so I have heard. I look all around me. Nikki looked over at me and started chuckling.

“What are you doing?” she asked. She was just about to turn off of 212 onto a side road.

“I'm looking to see if I had a guardian angel.” I answer, checking the back seat.

“You can't see your guardian angel, they are invisible. And everyone has one. They are with you in good times and bad. Guardian angels serve to protect whichever person God assigns them to.”

“Do you believe in God?” I look up at Nikki.

“In a way, I do. I might not see him, but he is there.”

I look down at my feet. “I sometimes do, but sometimes don't believe God exists.” I look out the window at the buildings passing by.

“Why do you say that?”

I sigh. “First of all, I always wonder, if 'They'….” I quickly look at Nikki. “Um, you can't just say God is a man, God, could be a woman as well.” Nikki smiles, almost like she agrees. “But if God really was real, why would They have me live in an abusive home with my dad? Why would They have it, I don't eat for days? Why would...”

“I completely understand what you mean.” Nikki interrupted me. “Children that go through trauma believe God has abandoned them or God is punishing them. Some lose their faith in God and...”

“I haven’t lost faith. I believe in Heaven and Hell, I believe in Jesus,” I start to cry. “But sometimes I believe I am not wanted. I can't even...” I couldn't finish my sentence. I continued crying.

“I know you just ate almost thirty minutes ago, but would you like an ice cream before we get to the house?”

“Yes!” I perked up. I stopped crying, wiping my tears away, I saw Nikki pull into a parking lot with a small diner.

“Crescent City Diner and Ice Cream is my favorite place to go for ice cream here in this city.” Nikki mentioned.

“What about Dairy Queen?” I asked, hopping out the door of the car.

“They have one back in Brookings.” Nikki spoke to me through the car before we shut the doors.

,As we were walking to the door a lady was starting to lock up.

“I'm sorry, we have just closed.” she announced.

“Awwwww!” I whined. That wasn't fair. I really wanted an ice cream. I started to pout.

Nikki looked at me and then at the lady “Is it possible you could make an ice cream for her, just this once. She had a bad day today and I just promised her one.”

The waitress looked down at me. She can tell I was disappointed. “Okay, come on in.” She opened the door and with a smile, I skipped over to the counter. “What kind do you want. We have vanilla, chocolate or swirl?”

“Um...” It has been a long time since I had ice cream. Last time I did, was when mom was still with me. “Swirl!”

“Swirl it is.” She takes a plastic bowl and fills it up. She looks at Nikki. “Because she is still under age, please help her with the toppings.” She points to a counter of goodies.

I was so excited. “I want gummy bears and M&Ms and peanuts and chocolate fudge. \” Nikki filled my bowl. “Oh, and chocolate chips on top.” When we were done, Nikki paid for the ice cream and we left the diner. I kind of wished we could have stayed, so I could have eaten it there, but she was closing.

I ate the ice cream in the car, while Nikki drove. The first bite was like heaven. When you haven't had ice cream four almost four and a half years, it would be the best tasting treat a girl, or boy could ever have.

“We're here!” Nikki announced. I looked up from the cup, with the spoon still in my mouth, I look out the window. We were pulling into a drive way. A sign near the road read 'Crescent City Home for LGBT Youth'

I pull out the spoon from my mouth. “Why does the sign say LGBT?” I asked Nikki, while we passed it. “Why doesn't it have the Q?”

“We have it as LGBT, to shorten the abbreviation. If not, it would be LGBTQIPA, short for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Questioning or Queer, Intersex, Pansexual and Asexual. There's another abbreviation that could have been used which is...”

“Forget I asked,” I mumbled. I was a little confused with all the letters. Nikki chuckled as she parked the car. An older woman came out of the building and headed toward the car. When I got out of the car, she was there to greet me.

“You must be Kiara,” she barked. My name is Ms. Whiswall, I am one of the night time staff here at CC House. Your bedroom is ready for you. You have forty-five minutes until you have to be in your room for the night. You will be sharing a room with another child. I do not want any problems with any of you two. You understand me?”

I nodded.

She seemed to be a little mean. Not sure if I will like her. I watched as she headed back into the building.

I took my backpack of clothes out of the back seat and walked slowly to the house. I was as nervous as a chihuahua.

“Are you the other night time staff?” I asked Nikki.

She chuckled. “No, I am a full time staff. I live here. Ms Whiswall and Sarah, which I'll be introduce you too, are the night time staff.”

“Is Sarah mean like Ms. Whiswall?” I shivered.

“Again Nikki chuckled. “Ms. Whiswall is a very nice woman. She just acts like a mean, strict person. Once you get to know her, you will like her. She is very protective of everyone.”

When we got into the building, I saw a girl looking at me from one of the rooms. She must have been about nine or ten and very pretty. A younger woman about the same age as Nikki came out of the office. She was very cheerful.

“Hello Kiara,” She cooed. “I'm Sarah. I'm guessing Nikki mentioned me.

I nodded.

“Do you want a tour of the building?”

I nodded again.

Nikki told me she had to go to the office to fill out paper work, or something like that. I wasn't sure exactly what she was talking about. We went through the whole building in less than ten minutes. There was a living room the dining room and kitchen. The kitchen was off limits to the children. Which wasn't fair. I wanted to make my own food. There was the entertainment room, in the basement. That room they had a pool table. Some teenage boys were playing that. There was a TV with a Playstation and Nintendo game systems, I glanced at some of the games. They had exercise equipment. Two teenage girls were exercising and talking to each other. I think they are a couple, not sure. Next to the room there was a library with lots and lots of books. There was a boy on the couch reading. The bedrooms were on two levels. The second floor was the boys floor and the girls floor, was the third floor.

We went up to the third floor to my room. I was so happy to know I was on the girls floor. This didn't bother anyone at all. There was a young girl sitting in the hallway when we got up the stairs. She saw me and waved. I waved back. I wanted to introduce myself, but Sarah was ahead of me and already heading to my room. I decided to introduce myself later.

When I got to my room, no one was in it. I was surprised.

“I thought I had a roommate?” I looked around the room some more.

“You do. She will be up soon,” Sarah clarified. She usually stays downstairs and watches television until nine. That's when everyone must be in their bedrooms or at least on your assigned floor for the night.” She looked over at an empty bed. “This bed is your bed. Your dresser is right next to the bed and you have to share a closet with your room mate. There is a bathroom across the hall and one in the room as well. There is a shower in both rooms. I recommend you taking a shower tonight.” She heads towards the door to the hallway. “Well, that's the end of the tour. If you need me, I will be downstairs. I hope you enjoy your stay.” She turns around and heads down the stairs.

I walk over to the staircase and watch her. Once she was not able to be seen, I turned around to see the girl that was in the hallway was now in her room. I didn't want to disturb her tonight, so I went back to my room and started to unpack my backpack.

Inside my bag, I had my dress, which I hugged. I am so glad that dad didn't see this dress. I went to the closet to put it away.

When I opened the closet, I saw tons of dresses. The girl in this room had more dresses than I have ever seen in my life. I look at my dress and then at hers. My dress wasn't as pretty as her dresses. I started to cry, which made me fall to the ground.

Just then, a hand touched my shoulder, which made me jump in shock and look. The girl I saw downstairs when I first came into the building was standing next to me. “Are you alright?” She spoke in a sweet voice. I just kept staring at her. “My names Ashley, what's your name?”

“My…” I wiped my tears from my eyes. “My names Kiara.”

“Why were you crying?” Ashley asked. I can tell she was worried about me.

“I only have one dress,” I explained “And there are lots of dresses in this...”

“You mean my dresses?” Ashley giggled.

“Their yours?” I was shocked. “Than that means… your my…”

“We're roommates!” Cheered Ashley. “And because we are roommates, if you want, you can use some of my dresses.”

“You do know that I am transgender, don't you?” I asked looking straight at Ashley.

“That doesn’t bother me,” Ashley giggled. “So am I.”

“You're transgender too?” I gasped. “But how can someone as pretty as you..?

“You're pretty too!” Ashley smiled.

“I am?”

“C'mere” Ashley took me to the bathroom to check myself out in the mirror. She looked pretty. I guess because she had cleaner hair. I looked like I haven't had a bath in weeks. Which is true in a way. I decided at that time, that I should take a shower. That was the only thing I dreaded. Every time I took a shower or a bath, I had to see something I didn't want to see.

My penis.

I wish I didn't have it. I wish I didn't have to look at it. I wish I had what girls had. I wish I was born a girl.

When I get out of the shower, I was freezing. Ashley gave me one of her sleeping wear to use for the night. It had Snow White on it. I believe she gave it to me, because Snow White was the fairest one of all. I blow dried my hair and for the first time, I had my hair brushed, which Ashley volunteered to do for me. It had lots of snarls in it, which I kept complaining.

It was almost midnight when my hair was finally brushed and was fully dried. I looked beautiful. This made me feel special. I never knew I could look this pretty. When it was time to go to bed, I hugged Ashley good night.

I wonder what tomorrow is going to be like. I wonder if everyone will like me as mush as Ashley does.

Also, what about school?

I wake up with confusion. Where was I and what happened to my room? I look around the place and see another bed in the same room and it hit me, I was not living with my dad anymore. I look at the bed and notice it was empty. I remember that I had a roommate now and her name is Ashley. I was in a foster home or something.

I look at the clock on the wall. It said it was 9:08. The sun was out, so it must have been morning, which meant I should be in school. I knew it wasn't the weekend yet, because yesterday was only Thursday.

I jump out of bed and make a mad dash for the bathroom. I really needed to pee badly. While I did my business, I didn't hear the door to my room open up. I was still sleepy and really wished I had someone to talk to when I woke up. I could go down and see Nikki. I quickly finish up.

Looking in the mirror, I look at myself and see I had bed head. Time to brush my hair. This didn't take long to brush, since I brushed it last night, or should I say Ashley did. I giggle.

When I got out of the room, I notice there was a tray on my bed with food on it. I wondered how it got there. I start to cry. I have never had breakfast in years. Well, I have, but it was usually just something small and cold. This was a hot breakfast. This was the works. Scrambled eggs, bacon, pancakes with maple syrup, orange juice and toast with jam. It made my tummy growl.

I ran to the tray to eat it. I took my time eating, not like the KFC I had last night. I felt more comfortable now that I was able to eat a meal and not worry that I won't have another meal today.

While I was eating, I notice a card on the tray as well. I open it up.

“Kiara,” I read. “When your done eating, bring down the tray to the dining room and come to the office. - Nikki”

I wonder what she wants? While I was eating, I got a better glance at what my room looks like. On Ashley's side of the room, I notice she has a small flat screen TV on her dresser. I jump off my bed and take a closer look at it. I have never seen a flat screen television set before. At my dad's house, we had an old 1969 RCA television set. It was so old, we didn't even have a remote, just the old switches. The only way we were able to watch TV was dad stealing cable from the box located in our yard. It was usually just basic TV stations. I'm surprised that we never got caught.

As I look at the small Sony flat screen TV, I wondered if Ashley would be mad if I watched a show on it. I didn't think she would. I looked around and saw the remote on her bed and decided to turn it on.

I wasn't sure what channel she had it on, but there was a cartoon and I sat down on my bed and ate the rest of my breakfast and watched it.

After I was done eating, I continued watching the show. I didn't want to leave in the middle, even during the commercials. I must have laughed a lot, which was not something I ever did, because dad never let me. After the show was over, I headed down with my tray to the dining room.

I looked around the room, not knowing where to put it.

A lady was sitting at a table knitting a sweater. I walked over to her. “Where do I drop this tray off?” I asked her. I never met her before, but I believe she was staff. She looked at me and then just pointed towards the kitchen. It was kind of rude. Why didn't she speak?

As I walked towards the kitchen, I got a little worried. I knew I wasn't supposed to go in it. I knocked on the door. No one answered. I was about to turn around when an older lady opened it and saw me.

“You know your not suppose to bother me while I am cooking!” she growled.

“I'm sorry, I didn't know,” I quivered. “I handed her the tray, which she snatched out of my hands. I ended up running out of the dining room crying. I ran half way down the hall and sat down with my knees and head together rocking back and forth. I must have been there for a quite some time, because Nikki came looking for me.

When she found me, she knelt down next to me. I looked up at her. With tears in my eyes, I hugged her, which she gave me a hug back. Nikki got up off the floor and picked me up. It might look babyish to some people, but I felt comfortable being with her.

“Kiara, I would like you to see our building social worker.” She said, looking me in the eyes. “She is expecting you.” I was confused. “Don't worry, she's a very nice lady.

We walked down the hall to a room which was not on the tour last night. Inside the room, there was a young lady sitting at a desk, talking on her phone. She noticed us come in and put up a finger like she was saying one second, or something.

I sit down in a chair, where I looked around the room. There were many things, cabinets, posters, picture frames with words in it, but no picture in it and even some toys in a corner of the room. I was interested in the toys.

When the lady got off the phone, she looked over at us.
“Hi, Nikki and this must be Kiara?” She looks down at me.

I was a little shy.

“It's nice to meet the young girl that everyone is talking about,” the lady smiled at me. I gave a weak smile back.

Nikki headed to the door. “Thanks for taking her on short notice Ms. Reinhold.” She looks over at me. “Kiara, once you are done, please head to my office.” As she walks out of the room, I wave to her, which she waves back.”

Ms. Reinhold looks back down at me. I was sitting in the seat my feet were moving back and fourth. I was very nervous. “First of all, before we start talking, I have a few things to talk about.” She takes out a sheet from a cabinet. “As you have heard my name is Ms. Reinhold, I am a Social Worker here at Crescent City Home for LGBT Youth.” She hands me the sheet of paper. “Everything we talk about in this room is strictly confidential, I won't speak about it to anyone, unless you give me permission to do so or if you plan to hurt yourself or someone else.”

I was a little fidgety in my chair. She noticed and went in a cupboards in the back of the room. She grabbed some paper and crayons. “If you want, you could draw me a picture. Draw me whatever you want. Whatever is in your mind.” She hands me the crayons and paper. “While you draw, I would like to ask a few questions. If that is alright?”

I nodded and started coloring.

“If I ask a question and you don't want to answer it, please let me know.”

I nodded again.

“How do you like school?”

“Uh,” This was a little weird. Why would she ask me about my school. “School is fine.” I continued coloring.

“Is there anything you liked or disliked about your school?” Ms. Reinhold added.

“Well,” I continued coloring and Ms. Reinhold looked at it. “Well, Phy-Ed. I hate it. The gym teacher thinks of me as a boy and not a girl. I am forced to do what the boys do. The girls don't have to do the tough stuff, but the boys are told they have too.” I am scribbling my frustration out on the drawing. Which Ms. Reinhold notices. “I am always called a boy in the school. Even if I use girls clothes, they still call me it. The Principal is a dumb ass and so are all the teachers. Since dad never gave me money for food, I would never be able to eat lunch and would end up hungry for the whole day. Sometimes…”

“Whose the boy in your picture?” Ms. Reinhold failed to change the subject.

“He's Mark Plantz,” I grumbled. “He's a bully in my class. I hate him so much.”

“Can you explain him to me?”

I got away from my picture and looked up at Ms. Reinhold. She looked sad. “Ever since I was in Kindergarten, he has been picking on me!” I yell, which I was told to calm my voice. I speak softer. With a sigh I continue. “He pulls my hair and calls me names all the time. I always get in trouble because of him. He never got in trouble, except that one time when he swore in front of the principal. But besides that time, he is the teachers pet and I am the class clown.”

I went back to my drawing, but I was crying a little. Ms. Reinhold was writing down what I say.

“Tell me, whats your favorite color?”

“It's pink.” I smiled. “And purple. I also like baby blue. I have a dress upstairs that is those colors. It's my favorite dress. In fact its my only dress. I wish I could go shopping for more clothes. My clothes I have are all worn and ugly.” I look at my clothes I am wearing. It was Ashley's sleepwear. “These are not my clothes. I am borrowing them from Ashley.”

“Ashley is your roommate, is that correct?”

“Uh Huh,” I started drawing Ashley. I can't wait until she is back from school. Well, That's where I think she's at.

She changes the subject again, which I wish she didn't “What is your relationship between your father?”

I didn't speak. I kept coloring.

“You can tell me if you don't want to talk about it” There was silence in the room. I continued coloring. She watched me color. She finally broke the silence. “Did he try to hurt you?” I didn't speak.

Ms. Reinhold wrote more things down. After a few minutes, Time was up and she let me leave. I headed to the office, which Nikki was waiting for me.

“Hi, Kiara,” she greeted me. “I'm so glad you made it.” She takes something out of her desk. “As a special treat for entering the CC House, everyone is given a $200 gift card for shopping at the Walmart here in Crescent City.” I was overjoyed “If you hurry up and change, we can go shopping right away, if you want.”

I was so excited, that I ran up to my room to take my favorite dress out of the closet. I knew this would be the first time, in public, besides school and the walk home from the bus, that I would be in the dress. I got to the closet and stopped.

Ashley's dresses were prettier than mine. Should I wear one of them? I looked at mine and then at one of Ashley's. I felt a little ashamed. I wanted to use hers, but mine was special. It was my first dress and my favorite, but hers would really make me prettier. I couldn't decide. I looked at mine and was sad. Dad almost destroyed this dress. If he saw it, I wouldn't have it right now.

I think of the other clothes I lost in the barbeque grill.

I sit down on my bed and notice Ashley's TV was still on. I forgot to turn it off when I left the room earlier. Just like before, it was on a cartoon I have never seen, but looked very interesting. I sat down on my bed and watched it.

Nikki came up to my room and noticed me watching the show. I didn't know she was there. She walked into the room watched the show with me. Well, I'm guessing show was, because she wasn't saying anything. When a commercial came on, I got up off my bed to get ready and saw her, which made me jump.

“Don't hurt me!” I cried. I put my hands to my face.

“Oh, sweetie,” she started walking over to me. I backed away. “I wasn't ...”

“No! I don't want the hanger!” I started crying.

“Don't cry.”

“Stop it! Stop it!” I screamed. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. Nikki walked over to the door and knocked. “Leave me alone! I hate you! I hate you!”

Nikki grabbed her cellphone and called someone on it. “Hello, Dr. Frank, This is Nikki from Crescent City Home for LGBT Youth I have a young child here, that is having a mental breakdown. Is it possible you could come over?”

Two years ago is more of a memory to me now, but I can remember like it was just yesterday.

It was dark out, but I hear the sound of the garage door opening and closing and the familiar sound of the White Dodge Omni when it rides down the road. That car can he heard for blocks. With it being dark out, I could see the lights of the car shining off the house across the street.

Before the car drove away, I look out the window and see the red lights from its rear. I wonder where he was going? I watch until I don't see the lights anymore.

I look at the clock on my bedroom wall and notice that it was only 4:50am. Why so early? Where was dad going at this time? My bedroom door was open. It was strange, because I normally keep it shut when I sleep. I was scared of what was outside in the dark and I quickly shut the door. The house can be creepy at night time, especially when there isn't anyone around, or asleep. I ended up going back to bed, which I fell asleep a few minutes later.

When I woke up, it was my usual time and the house was quiet. Opening my door to my room, I notice a very gross smell in the air. Almost like rotten eggs. I couldn't understand why the whole house smelled like it. I shut my bedroom door. I didn't want it in there.

As usual, I did my normal thing like I do in the morning and went potty.

While I was in the bathroom, I had a headache and I was starting to get dizzy. Not just that, the smell of rotten eggs, was making me sick. I finished up. As I try to flush the toilet, I notice it wasn't working, which was odd. I stumble out of the bathroom and head down stairs.

While heading down, I could hear a strange sound coming from the kitchen. It was like a hissing sound. The closer I got to the sound, the rotten eggs smell would get worse. I ended up putting my shirt over my face, trying to cover up the smell. It stunk so bad. When I reached the kitchen, I notice the gas stove had been turned on, but there was no fire coming out of it. That's what was making the smell and hissing sound. The natural gas has a smell as a warning that it is on. I ran over to it and turned off the burner..

Dad must have forgotten to turn off the stove when he left. He's going to be angry with me and blame me for the huge gas bill. He always does things and blames it on me. I start to cry.

I couldn't handle the smell of the gas and run to open the kitchen door to let some air in and let the gas out. The smell was so intense, that I ended up going outside myself. I started throwing up.

I wasn't sure how long it took for the gas to leave the home, but I hope it was soon. Its freezing out here and I didn't have my coat or shoes on. I was still in my pajamas. When it's freezing outside, it means the house was getting cold as well with the door open. Dad told me a hundred times to keep the door closed in the winter. I am going to get it, when he come back later today.

I'm just glad it' not snowing. It doesn't snow to often in Brookings When it does snow, their may be an inch or less and then it melts. What we normally get is rain and as of right now, I am glad it's not raining.

I was freezing and wanted to go back in the house, but I remember my friend Jeremy telling me that I should never go back in until the gas has left the building. He also told me to open all doors and windows. Which reminded me to open the front door as well. I wouldn't be able to open any windows, because that would mean I would have to go back inside the house.

As I open the door, There was a build up of the gas, which was really awful. I started coughing. I was feeling really sick, fell to the ground and blacked out.

~o~O~o~

I woke up to the sun going down. Was I outside on the ground all day? Why didn't any one help me. Didn't they see me lying here on the ground? Did any one even care about me? I sit up and look towards the house. It was dark inside. I climbed the front door staircase and into my now freezing home.

The smell was gone, which I was glad and I shut the door and headed to the kitchen to shut the other door. As I did, I noticed something odd about the house. There was something not quite correct about it, like something was missing.

My tummy started hurting. I haven't eaten anything in almost twenty-four hours.

I open up the fridge and all we had in there was a gallon of water and baking soda. I looked in the cupboards for something. I felt like Old Lady Hubbard. Because when I checked in the cupboard, It was bare. There was no food in the house. Dad didn't buy any groceries and didn't leave any money. I hope he gets back home soon. I am starving.

I start to cry. My tummy hurt a lot. If there was only some way to make it stop hurting, like make it feel like it was full.

Feeling thirsty as well, I decided to get some of the water from the fridge. As I started to drink the water, I spit it out all over the table. This wasn't water. Well it was, but it was salty. Extremely salty, like someone filled it up with lots of salt. I went to the faucet to get a drink. The water didn't turn on, which explains why the toilet upstairs didn't flush.

My tummy was hurting really bad and had to find some way to get rid of the pain. I look in the fridge again. Like before, there was nothing in it and I was not going to eat the baking soda. I was starting to panic.

I sit back down in the chair in the kitchen. I hope dad gets home soon. My tummy has a pain like I ate pins and needles.

I head to the living room and turn on the TV. I just hope that watching a show will get my mind off of food. There was nothing on but adult shows and News. Late night TV sucks. I sit on the couch and watch an old western movie. It was very boring and made me fall asleep.

During the night, I must have woken up. The TV was still on and one of those infomercials were on the screen. It was a cooking show. This made me think of food again. I went up to the TV and switched the channel. I hated going up to the television set every time, just to change the channel. Why can't we get a new TV with a remote? Not only that, the set was so old, that the screen messes up a lot and I have to get off the couch just to hit the side of it to get it working again.

I click through the only few channels that we had. They were mostly infomercials and boring sitcoms that made me hungry. I went back to the kitchen and checked the fridge. I was starting to get annoyed. I went back to the living room and sat there pouting and watched the boring sitcom on the screen, which again made me fall asleep.

I wake up in the morning. School started in a few minutes and I had to get ready. I went upstairs, took off my pajamas that I have been wearing all day yesterday and changed into some clothes for school. I ignored the fact that we had no food in the house and headed right out the door to the bus.

The next few days were the hardest for me. It was the weekend. Dad still didn't come home and I again there still was no food or water in the house. I would end up stealing food from the school, neighbors gardens, or the store and was glad I never got caught.

One evening, while I was watching TV, dad walked in from backdoor. I didn't know he was in the house. He saw me sitting on the couch and stood next to the doorway. I looked up at him. He looked mad. In his hands was a hanger.

I started freaking out. I knew what the hanger was for. He's used it before. I started crying.

“Where the heck is my stereo?” he yelled.

“I don't know?” I whined.

He went over to me and started hitting me with the hanger. I was screaming my lungs out. I wish the neighbors would call the police, but they never do. With each hit of the hanger and all the pain, I end up going into complete shock and everything goes dark.

~o~O~o~

My eyes went into focus. I look around to my surroundings. I was confused. I know the last thing I remember, I was looking through my closet for my dress to go shopping with Nikki. Next thing I knew I was in the bathroom lying on the floor. I don't know why I am in the bathroom and I am really, utterly confused.

I get up off the floor and look at myself in the mirror. I looked like I was crying. My hair was a mess. I also still had the nightwear on. I have no memory whatsoever. As I walk out of the locked door of the room, Nikki was sitting on my bed. It was like she was waiting for me.

“Um,” I was surprised that she was there. “Did I do something wrong?”

I was sitting at a table looking at a strange man. Nikki was in the hallway sitting. I could see she was reading a magazine or something. What looks to be a police officer was standing next to the door outside. I looked at the crayons next to the strange man, wishing I could color with them.

“Hello Noah, my name is Dr. Frank. I am a psychologists. I'd like to ask you a few questions. First of all, is it alright if I record our conversation?”

I nodded.

Dr. Frank takes out a small hand held tape recorder and presses a button.

'Click'

“Today is Friday on Day 23, the month of January in the year 2004. I am here with ten year old Noah Foster...”

“My names Kiara!” I screamed, interrupting the recording.

Nikki looked up from her magazine, I'm not sure what the police officer was doing, but I guess I was loud enough for others to hear me. I wonder if Nikki could see me through the window? I look out at her.

'Click'

Dr. Foster stops the tape recorder. “Don't worry Noa… I mean Kiara, No one can see you through that window. Its a one way mirror window. We are the only ones that can see out no one can see in. But I can close the blinds, if it bothers you.” Dr. Frank gets up from out of his chair and closes the blinds and then sits back at the table. “Would you mind if I continue?”

I thought for a second and finally nodded my head yes.

'Click' goes the tape recorder.

“I am here with Kiara Foster But for the records Noah Foster...”

This bugged me. I don't like hearing that name and wished no one used it anymore.

“…since that is his real name. So Kiara, do you know why you were brought here today?”

I shook my head, no.

“Please speak your answer, either yes or no.”

“No,” I spoke shyly. This was true. I don't know why I was here. I don't have any memory of what happened from the time I got into my room and the time Nikki was sitting on my bed, once I got out of the bathroom. I hope I can answer the questions okay.

“While you were at The Crescent City Home for LGBT Youth, you had an outburst, which caused a disturbance to others. They would like to help you with that.”

I sighed. I don't remember that at all.

“I have a few questions to ask you.” He took out a sheet of paper from a folder. “Okay… I would like to know a little bit about life at home.” Dr. Frank explained. “And what I mean is, your former home, before you were sent to Crescent City. How did your mother treat you?”

I sat there for about a minute crying. I didn't say a word, just cried. Dr. Frank watched me and wrote things in a notebook.

“Was your mother abusive?”

“My mom was nice to me when she lived with us.”

“Us? Are you talking about you and your father?”

“Yes.”

He writes it down. “Go on.”

“She was the only one that tucked me in at night time. Dad never did. And the one thing I liked about her, was she supported me when it came to me being a girl. She and me chose the name Kiara after watching The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. Kiara is Simba's daughter in the movie, did you know that?”

“I never watched the movie, but it's a pretty name.”

“Thank you,” I smiled starting to cheer up.

“So what happened to your mother?”

“I don't know what happened to her. I remember mom and dad fighting a lot and the last time I saw her, she and dad were fighting as well and the next day, she was gone.”

“Do you know what her name is?”

“I'm not sure. But I think it's Carmela, or something close to that. I remember hearing something close to that name a few times.”

“Do you have any siblings?”

“Siblings?” I was confused. I never heard that word before.

“Brothers or sisters? Do you have any brothers, or sisters?”

“I have one brother and one sister.” I explained. “Mom was able to get them, but not me. Dad refused to let me go with her that night.

“Oh, what are your brothers and sisters names?” Dr. Frank took took out another sheet of paper and wrote down moms name.

“Calvin and Lauren,”

Dr. Frank wrote that down. I looked at the papers he was writing on. I couldn't understand a word he was writing. It was all scribbles. How can he read that?

“Did you hear where she went to?”

I shook my head no, then I remembered he was recording me “Oops. Sorry… No, I didn't hear where she went.”

Dr. Frank looked up from what he was writing. “Any phone calls from her?”

“No,” I looked at my feet. “I think she would have called to talk to me, but dad had the phone number changed right away. I did get a letter from her once, but dad stole it from me before I got to open it.”

About an hour later, we were done talking. I was asked to sit in the hall, with the nice man that looked like a police officer, while he talked to Nikki.

Inside the room, Nikki and Dr. Frank talked, while I sat looking at the walls at all the posters. There was some posters that said things like Depersonalization, Dissociative Identity Disorder, and Schizophrenia. Not sure what they were, but they were scary pictures on them. I had to get my mind off of them. I looked up at the police officer.

“Hello” I said with a smile.

“Hi there,” he said. “You must be Kiara, I'm David.”

My smile went away. “Uh, how did you know my name?” I was confused.

“While you were in the room, I talked to Nikki. She told me your name. She was worried about you.”

“Why are you here?” I asked. Am I going to jail?”

He chuckled. “No sweetie, I'm not a police officer. I work for Child Protection Services. I am kind of like a police officer. I am here, to watch over you, kind of like a personal body guard.”

“Why?” I asked.

“To protect you from your father.”

“Why? He's in jail.” I was getting a little nervous.

“I'm sorry to say this kiddo, but your father posted bail this morning. They had to let him go.” I was freaking out. “But don't worry, he can't touch you, as long as I am around you. Plus, we have put a restraining order against him.”

About that time, Nikki and Dr. Frank walked out of the room. I guess we were heading back to the house, or something. I was told that I will have to come back and see him again in a week or so. This was going to be boring. I walked along with Nikki and David followed right behind us.

When we got back, it was almost dinner time. I didn't even go shopping and get some new clothes yet. I hope we have time tomorrow. Ashley was in the TV room watching a show, but when I walked into the building, she screamed and ran over to me.

“Kiara! I missed you.” We both hugged.

Nikki went back into her office and started writing on some papers. I was not interested in that. I did notice that David was was standing nearby. I kind of feel like royalty. Having a body guard.

“Hi David,” Ashley said, waving her hand at him.

“Why hello Ashley, how's life treating you?”

I was confused, how does she know David?

“I am doing very well now. I even got a new friend.” She was pointing at me.

“That's wonderful,” He chuckled.

Ashley looked at me and then back at David. “So I see you're with Kiara now.”

He shook his head.

She would have continued talking, but the dinner bell rang and we were all sitting down at a table together.

Waking up to my new bedroom was still strange to me. I wasn't use to a big room. I stare up at the ceiling wondering what today was going to be like. How will I act like today, compared to yesterday?

I sit up and look around the room. The clock on my nightstand said it was 7:36 why did I wake up this early? Ashley was still sleeping in bed, she looked so cute. I would never have guessed she was transgender, like me. Today was Saturday, so she didn't have to wake up for school. Talking about school, I wonder when I will be going to my new school?

I stretch my arms, yawn, hop out of bed and head towards the bathroom. Trying to keep it quiet, so I didn't wake Ashley up. I would feel terrible, if I woke her from a beautiful slumber. I smile, as I walk passed her. I could hear her softly breath. It was so cute.

As I used the bathroom, I noticed that the sun was just waking up as well. I couldn't see it, but it was making the ocean view outside look pretty. From this window, I could see the sunset over the horizon of the ocean. While I was sitting, and looked outside at the water. I saw many seagulls flying around. It reminded me of the ones from Finding Nemo. 'Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine' I was giggling while thinking of it.

I left the bathroom and was about to leave the bedroom, but to my surprise, Ashley jumped at me and gave me a big kiss on the lips. Yo would be surprised too. For some reason, I liked it, but I just wasn't ready for it.

“Sorry, I really wanted to kiss you ever since we first met.” She apologized.

“That's okay, but next time please ask me.” I shrugged.

It was 7:43 and according to Ashley, on a weekend breakfast was at 8, so we ran downstairs to eat.

Kim, the morning cook was making us omelets. She was a bit cranky. I guess it was because she had to wake up early to get here. With the omelets, we could choose our own toppings to put in it. I chose olives, onions, green peppers, mushrooms and of course cheese. There was ham, but I am allergic to pork products, so I had to eat the veggies.

“You know that olives and green peppers are fruits, don't you?” Ashley asked me. I didn't know that. I guess I learn something every day.

A few more people came into the room and got an omelet. Micheal, is a fifteen year old. He is very nice. I thought he was cute, but he wasn't interested in me. He liked boys. Julie a girl about my age came into the room. She likes both boys and girls. She thinks I am adorable. Well, she thinks that both me and Ashley are adorable. She is twelve. I kind of wish that All three of us had a room together. We could have so much fun.

There was this one boy that sits all by himself at a table. He doesn't want anyone to sit with him. I'm not sure why. I call him Bob, even though I don't know his name. I could ask, but every time someone trys to get near him, he leaves the room. Ashley has tried as well.

After breakfast, as I was putting my dish away, Nikki came into the room.

“Want to go shopping now?” She asked.

I looked over at Ashley “Can she come too?”

“Can I?” Ashley cried, jumping up and down. “I can help her find the most cutest clothes.”

“Why not,” Nikki chuckled. Ashley and I giggled. We both went to our room to get ready to go. Ashley let me borrow one of her dresses and a pair of leggins. I was a bit worried. I never wore one in public, except when I was at school or heading home from it. We grabbed a coat. It was cold outside. Of course, there was no snow on the ground, but it was a bit chilly, almost forty-four degrees.

As we got to the car, David, gets out of his and walks up to greet us. I wonder where he stays during the night? Does he sleep in his car or does he leave and come back early in the morning?

Seeing him, made me think of dad. I wonder where he is? He has no home to go to, since he burned it down. I wonder if he knows where I am, or if he really cares.

Us children sit in the back of the car, while Nikki and David sat up front. It didn't take long for use to get to the Walmart. We were chatting a storm in the back seat.

“Wow! You two are a bit talkative today.” David said looking back at us.

We both giggled.

“Aren't all little girls talkative?” Nikki laughed. “I was when at their age.

When we got out of the car, we were told to stay together and not run off.

As we walked into the building, we saw a poster that was advertising a movie. I wasn't very interested in it, but Ashley was. She was so excited. “Another Harry Potter movie is coming out?” I wasn't surprised.

“The author, did write five books.” Ashley told me “And right now, I heard she might write another.”

“What is Azkaban?”

“Haven't you read the book?” Ashley looked away from the poster and at me.

“No, my dad never let me read or watch the movies. He always said that witches and magic was from the devil himself.” I looked at Ashley. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?” She had her mouth open like she was very surprised.

“Azkaban is a really prison on an island in the middle of the Sea.”

“So, kind of like Alcatraz.” I smiled.

“Yes, but Alcatraz isn't a prison anymore.” Ashley looked up at the poster again. “We've got to watch the first two movies when we get back. I want you to see this one with me when it comes out in June.”

“Come on girls,” Nikki sang.

As we went shopping, I picked out some very cute shirts. Mostly pinks and purples, but Ashley said it would be best to get other colors as well. After that, we picked out some dresses and skirts as well as shoes and socks. Also some panties, we couldn't forget panties. I wanted a bra, but I am still too young for it. Instead, I got a camisole. Ashley wears one. I'm not sure what I need it for, but I think its kind of like a bra, for younger children. I might be mistaking.

As soon as we got home, she grabs me and takes me to our bedroom, where she goes to her book case and grabs a video tape and hands it to me. “This is the first Harry Potter movie. The Sorcerers Stone.”

“Why don't you get them on DVD?” I asked. Looking at the video in my hand.

“I would get DVDs, but I don't have a DVD player. They are expensive.”

“They are cheap right now.”I pointed out. “At Walmart, I saw they were about $99 or less. It's the new BluRay machines that are expensive.”

“I'll stick with the VCR. I doubt they will go out of style.”

I shook my head and looked the other way.

She turned on her TV and we started the movie. I felt a bit ashamed, while watching it. But after a while, I ignored the feeling and started enjoying the movie.

“Hermione is cute.” Ashley sighed. I had a feeling she liked girls. She did kiss me after all.

As the movie ended, we had a little time left to talk before lunch. I was lying down on my bed. She went over and sat down.

“I wish I were a girl.”

“You are a girl,” Ashley giggled.

I sat up and looked at her. “Kind of. But I have a penis.”

“So do I,” She giggled some more. “Why does it matter what you have in your pants. Your gender is between your ears and not between your legs.”

“But it's hard,” I start to cry and Ashley gives me a hug. “Can I tell you a secret?”

She nodded.

“A few years ago, I was so disgusted with having a penis, that I tried to have it removed. I used a scissors and a knife, I even tried using a rubber band, so it would fall off.”

“Ow!”

“Yeah, it was painful.” I lied down on my pillow. “There were lots of things I tried, like freezing it off with ice, but the knife and scissors were the worst things I tried.”

“I'm glad you didn't succeed.”

“Yeah,” I sighed.

The lunch bell started ringing. This made me very happy. I just wonder what they made.

As we walked out of our room, we pretended the stairs moved like in the movie. We laughed and giggled, but eventually, we made it down stairs to the dining hall.

Barbara the kitchen lady, was handing out soup and sandwiches. There was ham or turkey sandwiches and for the soup, it was homemade lentil soup. I was told that Barbara was an excellent cook. She also makes dinner on the weekends. I wonder what she is planning tonight?

While we were eating, Ashley and I were saying some jokes to each other.

“What does a nosey pepper do?”

“I don't know what?” Ashley smiled, while taking a bite of her ham sandwich.

“Gets jalapeno business!” I laugh, and so does Ashley.

“Oh, oh, I got one!”Ashley squealed. “Why do fish live in salt water?”

“Um, I don't know,” I start to giggle.

“Because pepper makes them sneeze! Achoo!” We both laughed.

Just then I heard a crashing sound from outside the building. I can hear David yelling at someone, but I wasn't sure who it was. Nikki came running into the room.

“Kiara,” She looked panicked “Your father is outside, trying to break in.” I can now hear dad outside the building.

“I want my son!” Dad shouted “Give me him!”

“You can't have HER,” David was yelling “SHE belongs to the state of California now!”

I was freaking out and Barbara brought me and everyone into the kitchen and locked the door. Dad was pounding and kicking at the front door. I just hope he doesn't break in.

“Drop your weapon!”

“I am here for my son!” My dad was yelling at an officer.

“I don’t care, drop your weapon, now!”

“These people have kidnapped my son and...”

“I am not going to ask you again! Drop your weapon or you will be tased and pepper sprayed!”

“Are you serious? They kidnapped my...

I could hear something fall to the ground. “What the F-aaaaaaaa!” I heard my dad screaming and then things went quiet. I can just imagine seeing his reaction. ‘He stumbled backwards with wide eyes’ or something like that. I couldn’t see anything that was going on, because we were all still locked up in the kitchen I was hungry and the food we had was going to waste.

Ashley and I were terrified and crying. Dad had broken down the door to the building and was inside looking for me. He must have checked the upstairs first, because after the crash of the door, there was a huge silence until the police showed up and we heard them in the room next to us. I’m guessing he barely made it to the cafeteria, when the police came in. They most likely were pointing guns at him.

As for David, I’m not sure what happened to him. He would have stopped him from breaking the door down. I hope dad didn’t kill him.

It was a bit quieter than before, but we could hear them again I’m guessing it was outside.

“Stop resisting!”

“Goddammit!” Wow, I never heard my dad use those words before.

“Put your hands behind your back! I told you, stop resisting!”

My dad was not giving up. If he keeps it up, He’s going to get shot. To me, I really don’t care if he does or not. He deserves it for what he had done to me.

With all the action outside, Ashley and I continued crying and Nikki tried comforting us. I’m guessing a few others were crying as well.

Things went quiet once more. All we could hear was a siren in the distance. Sounding like it was heading towards the house.

God, it felt like hours before everything was done, but eventually a police officer came in and helped us out of the kitchen (or in my way of calling it, a hideout since dad never did find us). A police officer started talking to Nikki. As we got out, I looked at where we were, before we got locked up. Our food we were eating was still on the tables, but it was cold. The delicious lentil soup was cold now, which makes me feel bad for our cook Barbara. I can tell she was a little sad, but I guess she got over it. We can always microwave it.

I looked out at the front door, where dad had broken in. There was bits of wood all over the ground. The door was shattered almost like it was glass. Dad must have been strong to break that down.

Looking out the window, I could see a police officer putting up crime scene tape around the whole area of the building. I wonder if it was the same at my house in Brookings?

News reporters were outside reporting on what happened. I just hope they are not mentioning me. I don’t want the whole world to know about me. Ashley walked over as well and looked out the window. David was standing out there talking to one of the reporters. I still wonder what happened to him through out the whole time dad was in the house. He must have been knocked out, because he was holding something up to his head.

~o~O~o~

That night the house was on lock down. No one in or out. It’s a good thing all the residents were already in the house. There was tight security all around. Mostly just the police.

I watched my dad’s White Dodge Omni get towed away. I hope that would be the last time I see that vehicle. By the looks of it, it was totaled after he ran it into David’s red Ford Ranger.

I’m guessing by now, my dad is in his jail cell or something. I have never been to jail, so I don’t know what it’s like. There was a time I almost went to Juvey. It wasn’t even my fault. Dad call the police one day saying I damaged property. I was in handcuffs and was in the back seat of the squad car, but there was no evidence of damaged property, so they let me go.

Dad was pissed off after that night. I was not allowed to eat dinner. Because of that day, he started using food against me. If he felt I was bad, I was not allowed to eat that night and was sent to bed.

Now that I am glad I am away from dad, I can have dinner all the time. That’s why I am glad I am living in a home, where meals were always made for me. Tonights meal is Shepherd's pot pie. I never had it before.

~o~O~o~

The next morning, was Sunday. Ashley was up before I was. I would have slept in, but she went up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek and ran back to her bed. She was acting innocent like she didn’t do anything.

I giggled.

“Hello, Ashley. Anything new today.” I ask, while stretching.

“Besides the news of your dad’s arrest and the fact the police and news reporters are still outside, I guess everything is just peachy. “

“What do you want to do today?”

“Well, the house is not on lock down anymore, but we can’t really leave, without an adult with us.”

“That sucks. How come?”

“Who knows, its been like this as long as I have been living here.”

“Oh,” I sighed. “I thought it was because of my dad yesterday.”

“Ashley giggled.” I thought the same thing when I moved here.”

The breakfast bell rang, which was a good thing, since I just woke up. We both got dressed and headed down to eat.

After breakfast, we ended up watching the second Harry Potter Movie. Like we were planning on watching yesterday. I didn’t really like it, because I hate spiders. I was hiding the whole time the giant spiders were on the screen.

“So you ready for your first day of school here in Crescent City tomorrow?” Ashley asked.

“Not really?” I said nervously. “But I think I will be fine with it, since you will be in my school as well.”

“Yeah. Sixth grade is the best.”

“What?” I cried “Your in sixth grade? I’m only in fifth.” I started to pout.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were younger than me. I’m ten years old and will be eleven on July 6.”

“Wait, I am ten as well, but I will be eleven on November 29. How come you are a grade a head of me?”

“I’m not sure why. This is so weird.”

~o~O~o~

School was hard for me. Having to transfer all my records to my new school, which had my dumb birth name on them. The principal kept calling me by that name as well. The secretary was very nice and would call me by my chosen name. When I was introduced to my Homeroom teacher she was happy to meet me and didn’t care if I was different from everyone else.

“Hi Kiara, my name is Mrs. Stockhold. I will be your Homeroom and Geography teacher.”

“Hello,” I said shyly.

“Let me help you to my classroom.”

The secretary handed me a my list of classes I was taking and a map of the school and I followed Mrs. Stockhold

As we walked in to the classroom, there were kids all over the place. I followed slowly behind. I was nervous as a Chihuahua.

“Good morning class.” Mrs. Stockhold announced. This is Kiara. She is new today.” She looks over at me “Would you like to introduce yourself a little more, Kiara?”

I looked at all the kids. I was scared. I walked up to the front of the class.

“Hello. My name is Kiara … I lived in Brookings, Oregon, until my dad did something bad to me and I was taken away to this city.” I looked over at Mrs. Stockhold worried I said something I shouldn’t have. She smiled. I was nervous. “I have never had friends before and I really hope I can have some here.” I finished what I wanted to say.

Mrs. Stockhold crouched down and whispers in my ear.. “Isn’t there something else you want to tell the class?”

“Do I have to?” I started to cry with fear.

“You don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to, but its best to say it before someone finds out.”

I look over at the class. “Also… I am.. Transgender.” The last part I spoke softly.”

A few snickers came as I took my seat nervously. A boy who was sitting next to my desk, fake-coughed while gently moving his seat away as Mrs. Stockhold went to the board.

“I don't want any trouble with anyone picking on her. Let's just get back where we left off Friday. Ava, do you remember?"

"Mountains of the World." Ava answered.

"Right, great job. Now everyone knows Mount Everest..." Mrs. Stockhold turned and began writing on the board while babbling off.

A boy from behind me nudged me. "Hey, what did they do with your dick?" he asked, smirking.

"Leave me alone." I replied, frowning.

"Hey, it's a legit question, Dickless Wonder." the boy next to me asked.

"Leave the kid alone, Lucas!" Another boy came to my defense.

“Shut up Jayden!”

"...I have a name." I said softly.

"But it isn't your real name, freak." Ava said naively. This made me start to tear up. I wasn’t a freak.

A girl in front of Ava turned around. "Leave her alone." She hated seeing any one cry.

"But he's not a girl." Ava said.

"She is just as much a girl as you or I, if not vastly more so because she made a serious, risky, important decision to be who she feels. It required courage, Ava!" Zoe said angrily.

I smiled a bit that someone understood me.

Mrs. Stockhold quickly turned around and put a stop to this annoying discussion.

"Shut up, or I'll fail all of you. Leave Kiara alone and focus!" She said, slamming the chalk down. It broke in two, but no one cared.

"But how can we focus?” the boy behind me pouted “Kiara is dressed like a total slut."

“Dude, Ryan, what the hell?" a boy across the room exclaimed, genuinely surprised as to
why Ryan was looking at me.

"Ryan, stop undressing transgender girls with your eyes and Matthew, watch your language. Now where were we… oh right, Mauna Kea. Mauna Kea is the highest point in..." Mrs. Stockhold turned back around, not noticing Lucas putting on a medical mask and scoot his desk a bit more, hitting a girls desk next to him. “Lucas, what are you doing?" the girl asked.

"...making it the world's tallest mountain from base to summit, beating out even Mount Ever - Lucas, what the hell are you doing now?" Mrs. Stockhold said, turning around.

"I don't wanna catch the transgender disease." Lucas said honestly.

Ava began laughing madly and I put my head down on my desk.

Mrs. Stockhold rolled her eyes with annoyance, "Lucas, it isn't contagious or a disease. You can take the mask off."

"That's what they said about H1N1 and now people are dying. I'm not going to get no vagina." Mrs. Stockhold quickly approached Lucas and ripped the mask off.

"This needs to stop. Kiara is just as much as person as you or me. You all will respect Kiara's life choices and leave her alone." Mrs. Stockhold
said.
"Thank you, Mrs. Stockhold." I smiled, almost on the verge of tears.

“Your welcome" Mrs. Stockhold turned to the board.

"Since none of you are paying attention, I guess we can just have a test on all the mountains. I myself need a break from all this." The kids groaned.

"Shut up! I don't want to hear it.

When the test was over and the bell rang, I immediately went to my locker, opening it and put a notebook inside, before a boy from another classroom approached me.

"So I heard that you have no dick, is that right?"

"Can you pleas-" before I could finish, some more boys pulled him away and began whispering something. I merely shrugged, put the rest of my things away and went walking to the cafeteria.
I got in line for my lunch, noticing Ryan and Lucas whispering things with some other boys and laughing. I started to tear up. I am getting tired of being picked on. This reminded me of my old school back in Brookings. I got my plate of food from the nice lunch lady and went
by the girls' table.

”Uh, excuse me, this is the girls' table." Ava said,

"Yeah." I replied

"So, you can't sit here." Ava said

"But-"

"My dad doesn't like me being around boys." Another girl on the table chimed in.

"Yeah, no gender queers!" said the girl that sat next to Lucas back in the classroom.

“Good one Jenny” Ava giggled.

"I'm not a boy!" I said aggressively as I walked away, hurt by the girls' non-acceptance. I sighed sadly and went over by the boys' table.

"Whoa there Dickless Wonder, once you make the change, you can never come back. The table a lifetime membership deal and once you let go of that, there's no money-back guarantee." Lucas said much to the joy of the other boys, who joined in with the laughter that erupted.

"Beat it, weirdo." Ryan said.

I sighed and left to sit at a table by myself. “Just like it was in Brookings.”

“Alright class, today we will be playing a game of dodge ball,” our gym teacher spoke to us.
We all cheered.

“I know some of you might know the rules of the game, but some might not know yet, so I have to explain before we begin.”

Everyone groans, but me. I have never played it before, so I feel like I am the loser here.

“The objective of dodge ball is to take out all the players of the opposite team," He begins. “A player is declared out if you either hit an opponent with a thrown ball. Before it hits the ground and below the shoulders, you catch an opponent's thrown ball before it makes contact with the ground or walls or you cross over any boundary lines.” He looks over at me because he can tell I am one that doesn't know the rules. “Now remember to win the game you must take out the other teams players, before time is up or have more players when the time is up than the other team.”

One kid comes over to me. “Thanks a lot, jerk.” He says.

“Now everyone line up while you are chosen sides.” the gym teacher said from across the room. I walked over with all the other classmates.
Lucas sees me. “Get away from me; I don’t want to catch the transgender disease.” He was pretending to be scared. I can tell. He was laughing with his friends. I kind of wish I could punch him in the nose, but I don't want to get in trouble. What would be worse getting suspended on the first day of school because I was being bullied.

I was chosen on the opposite team of Lucas and his friends, which was a good thing, but not the best, because I ended up not having fun. I was out immediately when the game started. All the boys went after me right away, and it was really hard on me. They all teamed up for the purpose of making me sit out.

I hate dodge ball.

The alley was dark and deserted. I was walking home from school, even though I could have taken the bus home. But after dealing with the bullies all day, I couldn’t handle seeing them again. As I walked, I contemplated going back to school the next day. I kick a can against a building which makes a cling clangy echoey sound. I was trying to take my frustration out.

I know I will get in trouble for not taking the bus home. Nikki or one of the staff at CC House will lecture me on walking home. “It’s not safe to walk home” Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah. It's not even dark out. Es the alley is dark, but it's not dark outside. It’s like what? 3:35? 3:40? Somewhere around that time? The sun is still out, and at least it's not raining.

I hear a cat meowing in the distance which sounds like it was in heat or it may have been hungry. I was starting to feel hungry at that moment because my tummy was growling just thinking of it. I thought about home and wondered what we were going to have tonight for supper. I also wonder what Ashley was planning on doing for fun. Probably a movie or something similar. She always thinks of something fun to do. We never did get a chance to finish watching that Harry Potter movie.

As I was walking along, I noticed places I hadn’t recognize from earlier today, heading to school. Was I going the right way home? Looking around, I saw a library. I defiantly wasn’t going the right way. I decided to run over to the Library to ask for directions or maybe even ask to use the phone.

While I headed inside, I noticed it was starting to get busy for this time of night, and the woman at the front counter was checking out customers. Was it always this busy at this time of night?

“Scuse me,” I asked.”

“Please wait your turn young lady. The woman at the counter told me. I looked down to the ground, not knowing what to do. I started walking around the library to the kids' section to find a book to read, while I waited.

As I turned the corner of one of the aisles, I had a big surprise… Ryan, Lucas and a few other boys from my class were there. They looked like they were up to something; Something not so good I could say.

I start to slowly walk the other direction, hoping they don’t look my way. I didn’t want another problem just like what they did at school today.

I make it to another aisle and keep looking back. My heart is beating fast. I turn different directions left and right hoping they didn’t see me and was about to hide under a table when...

“Well if it isn’t the Tranny!” Lucas said popping out of nowhere. I jumped. I wasn’t expecting him to jump out in front of me like that. He must have seen me.

“Hey guys, look at the Dickgirl we have over here!” He said to his friends who were coming up from behind him. They all were laughing.

“Dickgirl,” Ryan repeated because he says he is a girl and he has a dick.”

“Stop it!” I cried.

“What’s the matter pussy; afraid of us?” Ryan laughed

“What are you doing in my part of the city, in fact, my city of all places?” Lucas growled.

“Aren’t you suppose to be with that queer family of yours?” Ryan spoke up. I looked at him surprised. “That's right I know you live at that Queer Home For Queer People here in Crescent City. That’s where all the freaks live.”

I didn’t say anything. I was starting to cry.

“Look at the baby cry!” Lucas pointed at me to the boys. “Waaaaaaaaaa!” He imitated a baby as well as pretended to wipe his eyes.

Other people in the library walked by and didn’t stop to help. They just went on with their lives as if this was normal or they didn’t want to get involved. Some people were reading a book or listening to their iPods and walking the other way.

Lucas kicks me in the private area which makes me fall to the ground. I almost hit my head in the process. “I guess the he-she does have a dick after all” Lucas laughs, which has the other boys laugh as well.

“Well at least balls,” Ryan pointed out.

“Come on guys, let's get out of here.” All the boys walk away still laughing and left the library. I am still sitting on the ground crying holding my private in pain.

People walked by me not stopping to see if I needed help. Some most likely thought I was just a bratty kid not getting what I wanted and was throwing a tantrum. Eventually, I got up and walked over to the counter. There was still a big line. I couldn’t believe it. How could such a small place like this library be so busy?

Finally, when it was my turn, I saw the woman at the counter and froze. I was a bit shy.

“Can I help you young lady?” she asked.

I was still scared.

“If you don’t need anything move aside,” she growled.

Finally, I spoke up. “Where is CC House? I asked.

“CC House?” She looked confused?.

“Yes,” I tried again. “I am lost, where is Crescent City Homes?”

“I’m not sure what you mean?” She said looking at the line and then at me.

“Excuse me, Miss,” A young man in line spoke up. I looked over to him. “Crescent City Homes is a bit far from here. Here let me check out my books, and then I will write down the information for you on some paper.” He gets his books checked out and as he promised he writes down the directions.

“Thank you so much,” I say looking at the paper.

On the paper it said to Head southwest from the library toward Front Street, Turn right onto Front Street, Then Turn right onto B Street. Turn left onto Second Street, and I should see Crescent City Homes on my left.

I smiled. I skipped out to the door and

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I quickly stopped because the alarms went off at the door. I looked back at the woman at the front desk.

“Hold Up!” A security guard yelled at me.

“What did I do?” I cried?

“It must have been the boys that did it. I didn't even get a chance to look at any books when I was in the library. I just wanted to go home.” I cried. “Look at the security tapes!”
I was sitting in a chair in the office of the Library waiting for the police and Nikki to show up.
A security guard was standing next to me making sure I didn't leave the chair.

I was scared and crying.

“I didn’t do anything. I didn’t steal anything.” I was crying and wanted to go home. I was caught with a DVD in my backpack. I don’t know how it got there; I was holding my bag the whole time except when I was kicked. The security guard wasn’t listening to a word I was saying.

Eventually, I heard that a police officer came into the building and Nikki came in a few minutes after him. This was where I was starting to panic. I didn’t want to go to jail.

The police and Nikki talked to someone right outside the room I was sitting in. I see that they were talking, but couldn’t hear what they were saying. I was hungry, and I wanted to go home.

A few minutes later a policewoman and Nikki came into the room. Some man stood outside the doorway with his arms crossed.

“Please let me go, and I won’t come back here again! I Promise!” I cried.

“Hello Kiara, Don’t be afraid. my name is Officer Chill,” the police officer crouched down at my eye level. “It seems like you have gotten into a little trouble tonight.”

“I didn’t do it!” I cried.

“I know you didn’t. We all saw the surveillance footage. A bunch of boys about your age did it to you.”

“Yeah, Ryan and Lucas and his friends…” I grumbled. But then I spoke softly. “...And now I’m a squealer.”