My name is Max and I’m a pretty good computer programmer working for a larger company. I’ve been developing my own business for the past three years. When I’m not working, I love riding horses as I have since I was a kid.
The hall of fame for trotters is not that far from here where I grew up. Growing up as I did, I wanted to stand on my own. I did not get into trotting horses, instead, I loved riding horses in other ways like calf and livestock roping from horseback, and doing barrel races, jumping and racing over and around obstacles, as well as trail and off-trail riding.
Generally, I feel good about myself as I’ve adjusted over time to how others look at me. My body is pretty androgynous. I’m not comfortable with the label of a hermaphrodite as I try only to see myself as Max, a guy.
Two weeks ago that started to change when Bobbi Freyja started taking notice of me and liking what she saw.
I had noticed her two months before when she started to bring her horses out to this one stable to ride in the open country. I was not surprised that she did not notice me. We’ve become friends enough to say hello and comment about our horses or riding in general.
Most of my competition riding stopped my junior year of college and I’m now seven years past that. I enjoy being a very good rider and horse person I rely on finesse, being a good horse trainer, by getting close to the horses I train by using technique and caring as opposed to strength and dominance.
By the time I was sixteen, I stopped winning many competitions that depended upon subjective judging. Winning second or third and getting a pat on the back or verbal accolades had to do, though I tried for better. Supposedly I’m a well-respected male rider, just not the rugged, manly looking guy that some contest promoters wanted to see as their winner.
When Bobbi Freyja came to train horses and compete in our area as well as ride in rodeos; people stopped and took notice. From the back, especially on casual days, she was often mistaken for a lean cowboy. Straight on, especially from the front, she presented herself as a very attractive female rider. She was seen as a cowboys’ cowboy. More than once I saw her get in someone’s face if she wasn’t respected. She didn’t go for women being spoken down to.
We’re both about five foot seven and once John a friend of ours had trouble identifying us from behind. He joked that from behind I had nicer hips that is if I were a woman.
It was two weeks ago that we were both at the stable, I had just come back from riding my horse Sally some two miles over some trails and terrain through an undeveloped state park in central New York. I had tied my horse up to let her cool down. I had stopped early having other things that I should be doing today and planned to get home soon.
Bobbi comes walking over and calls to me, “Hey Maxie,” I look up and turn to see what she wants. She walks up, pushes me back several times until I’m up against the stable. She takes off my riding hat and gently tosses it aside and props me up against the stable and gives me a big warm kiss.
It was nice, really nice, and if it had been the other way around I would have thought it was great. If I had done it to Bobbi, she probably would have pushed me back and been offended, seeing it as sexist.
She pulled back from the kiss and embrace saying, “Nice that was as good, even better than I had hoped. Did you enjoy it as much as I did?” She looked down toward my waist, “I guess you probably did.”
While it was not totally obvious, I was turned on and loved the kiss and I told her. “Bobbi, other than being surprised I like it very much.”
Without much more than a pause for air, Bobbi said, “Would you be up for riding out today? I’ve been working up the nerve to ask you to ride with me, what do you say?”
“I was just on a short ride. I know Sally wouldn’t mind but I had been planning to get some stuff done today.” Bobbi is glowing a little, while also keeping her composure.
She says, “That would be good. If you could use some help at your place, maybe I could help thereafter our ride.” Bobbi walks over with me to my horse, “She’s a good looking horse and I’ve seen you work her. She is a very well trained horse, she has spirit.” I noticed that Bobbi has Shocker out to ride. Shocker is also a very nice horse, but it is her second-best horse. I can only guess that she has Shocker out because he’s only about half a hand taller where Dark Knight is larger yet.
“I love Shocker’s chestnut coloring. I bet it’s a great riding horse for barrel and any western riding completion?”
Bobbi agrees, “He has an edge there over Dark Knight there, I like how he handles in tight turns and his footwork. Let me go get him saddled up and I’ll be right back.” I quickly changed my horse blanket on Sally, put the saddle back on and ride her over to Bobbi.
When we got into the state park and onto a trail that would soon branch off Bobbi takes the lead and I like the trail she chose when they branch off. Depending on how we choose to go there’s a good number of open fields and spaces to run along with two wide paths. It goes among the trees, up some good climbs with spectacular views. She moved over where we can ride together side by side. Bobbi is talking more than I usually heard her. I'm even more surprised as she talks a lot about women’s riding wear from colorful tops and riding jeans to longer skirts which I guess she wore for shows and presentations. That my opinion seems to matter with her I am appreciative.
We approach a ridge where there is a beautiful vista, I ask, “Hey would you mind taking the time to see this beautiful view at the pinnacle of the ridge?” When Bobbi Freyja joyfully says yes, I lead the way with my horse. We meander through shrubs, small trees and tall grasses on an unmarked path that I and the horse instinctively know. Once there we first enjoy the panoramic view on horseback. Then we dismount and with reins in hand walk to the edge of a drop-off and take in a different view of its own beauty.
Bobbi has a blanket roll that she's loosened from her saddle and spread out on the ground and invites me to relax and enjoy the scenery together. She says, “Hey, I’ve seen a picture of you earlier from before you started wearing the loose-fitting bulky clothes you wear now. You know you’re a cute, good-looking guy.”
“You know,” I say, “‘cute’ is not a descriptive word a guy likes to hear about himself.”
Without apology, she says, “You’re better than that. You probably don’t know how neat and pretty you are.”
I chuckle, “I’m not sure what you mean by that. Then again that’s why I like riding out into the country and seeing great views like this. One can just look and take it in for whatever one sees and enjoys.”
Bobbi pushes me back, “I hope you don’t mind my being a little forward.” She moves to kiss me again and I’m smelling the light fragrance of wildflowers and a woman. Her breath is fresh, first like a cool breeze, then it turns warm and passionate. She is partly on top of me. She pulls back while continuing to push me down. She’s unbuttoning my shirt only to find I’m dressed in layers. Finally, she forces her hands under my clothing saying, “There you are.”
She is kissing me again and I can tell she likes the guy she is holding. It feels good, but wrong for my male ego. I'm not used to these beautiful feelings that are washing over me. Finally, I’m just hugging her and getting lost in a long kiss and then in her eyes and her smile. Bobbie’s hair encases my face as she moves down to kiss me again. This time she is not kissing me but lightly biting my lower lip and then she moves to nibble on my ear and French kiss it.
“Bobbie you’re driving me crazy, I hardly know…”
“Stay down and enjoy it. If you haven’t figured it out, I’ve been thinking about you.” As she is moving back and forth from kissing my right earlobe to my neck, her hand under my clothes has found the nipple of my left breast. She slowly arouses the nipple and is sending growing sensations shooting through my body as well as to my brain. Thankfully she relaxes and we just lay together for a while.
It takes the naying of the horses to bring us to the attention of the world around us. We get back on our horses and ride on. We come to a stream that meanders down the mountain and we come to an area where it pools into a small pond nicely away from any trail. Again Bobbie dismounts her horse and goes over to the pool of water. “Aya Long told me you grew up as close friends and as teenagers, you and she discovered this pool and had some fun here. Do you remember Aya and the fun you had here?”
I'm is blushing remembering what we did there. I had lost track of Aya when she went away to college and later got a job hundreds of miles away. She had married away from here sometime after her parents died. I was invited to the wedding, even to be part of it but it had not worked out to go because of my job. After that, I had lost track of her.
I'm now wondering how Aya and Bobbie know each other and how much Bobbie knows of me through her.
“You need to know she did not tell me about your female side. I'm the one who brought it up to her. I help train her horses now and sometimes we get to ride together here on Sunday or an odd Monday that she takes off.” Bobbie pauses, “She says you use to keep yourself nice and trim but went back to wearing loose and bulky clothes after you started to mature.”
Bobbi says, “I am sorry if I’ve been forward today in my feelings for you. They’ve been kind of bottled up, I liked you from early on. Um, more exactly I felt attracted to you and when I saw earlier pictures and realized you’re androgynous. Then they became even stronger.”
Max, “You’ve become more attracted to me because I’m androgynous that’s a switch. It’s usually been quite different.” Usually when people see me as being androgynous that is when the attraction ends.
Bobbie says, “Times have changed since you went back to hiding yourself. I don’t mean to be flippant or insensitive; I don’t know what it feels like being you. But yes, I am even more attracted to you. I’m interested in knowing you fully. You might think I’m weird for that and wonder about me. You’ve seen me around, so you know I don’t express my emotions and passion much outside of horses and rodeo gigs.”
We sit down by the pool of water and we talk. I learn Aya lives south of the state park and the stable, closer to Bobbie. Aya knows I don’t live with my folks, but she didn’t know I am still in the area. She hasn’t searched me out because her husband is kind of jealous of me because of our past friendship. As much as anything Bobbi and I talk about horses, Bobbie and only a little about Aya.
Bobbie didn’t mention it but I realize by the way she looked at me; she’d be happy if I dressed differently. It is warm enough that I walk a ways off and take off my bulky pullover but put my shirt back on.
One might wonder why I didn’t just take more things off there, but I’m a bit sensitive as I wear a sports bra when I go riding as I do have breasts. I’m not comfortable with Bobbie seeing that. Bobbie giggles as I came back, “You know I felt your sports bra and your girls under there when I got passionate with you.”
I now become embarrassed even more. “And you’re alright with that,” I ask?
She giggles again, “I thought I made it quite obvious how I thought about you. Come here please and I will put an exclamation point on my display of affection for you. I am quite uncomfortable usually being this passionate, but for you, I make an exception.”
Now it’s me giggling, “Yes, I could tell that. I need to feed both of my horses and clean their bedding areas. If you want to help with that I won’t turn away another pair of hands.” It takes a good twenty minutes to a half-hour to get from the stable there up to my place, longer with someone following me and both of us have trailers.
I too enjoy the time of just being friends and having someone to help with chores. Bobbie takes interest in learning of my running my own company part-time, as well as my regular job in Newberry. She tells me of her need to expand her business and to take it to the next level with more marketing, keeping track of the horses and clients she works with. “If we could work out a deal of me being one of your clients would you be able to go out full-time on your own,” she asks?
I take her into my house and office to show her my set-up and the different type of work I do and could do if I have the time.
She says, “You do know there are many in the rodeo, horse and the larger related industry who could benefit from your services?”
I say, “I’m good at what I do and promoting others, but I’m not much of a salesperson in promoting myself. It would probably take too long of a time to get established.”
Bobbie says, “That is where having an outgoing friend and client like me would make a big difference.”
Bobbie says, “It would more likely change if you didn’t deliver on the services, I suspect. Or maybe you need to check on me and see if I am a good risk and have a good history in paying obligations.” She says, “It would be good if we take enough time to do it appropriately and have third parties check figures for each of us.”
I say, “I’m interested and I have two weeks of vacation time that I need to use or lose. If you are serious, I’d like to try to work out an agreement with you. I also have to work out the figures and steps I need to take to go full-time and incorporate my business.”
Bobbie Freyja gives me a hug and invites me out to dinner on Monday evening, a working dinner meeting.
Sunday, I receive a call from Aya, she had been Aya Kleinhorst when we were growing up. She had dark black hair and the looks of her Egyptian mother, and her dad’s name. “I’ve been wanting to call Max and find out how you are. A mutual friend Joanna Freyja told me she had met you and shared your phone number with me. I hope that is alright. I would like to meet with you again, but my husband Jeremiah has been a bit jealous of you for years. Between my mentioning of you and several of our old friends. He is smart, rugged and handsome and I’m very much in love with him, but our past friendship intimidates him.
Max says, “Doesn’t he know, we were never romantically involved that we thought being best friends was better?” I finally said, “To change the subject, how are you doing?”
Aya says, “Jerry and I are doing well. We are doing well. We have a son Connor, four and Elena turned two last week. I’m a search and rescue paramedic. I’m scheduled Wednesday through Sunday at sunrise. Bobbie is our backup if I get called out or caught up in a search or rescue. ...I need to thank you for teaching me how to ride horses and about the outdoors.”
Aya changes the subject. “Joanna tells me you’re still wearing layers of clothes to hide. It sounds like you’ve found someone who likes you as you are. I bet that scares you. She tells me despite the outward appearance you’re actually trim and in good shape.”
I say, “Sounds like she couldn’t wait to tell you about me.”
Aya says, “Quite the opposite, I called her last night and pried it out of her. She's afraid you’ll think she spilled the beans. I could have described how you were dressed down to your like for blue as well as being shy and self-deprecating. I told her, you’ve been like that since you went back into your shell. She wants to call you Maxie, but she did not get that from me. I hope you believe that. I am still one of your best friends even if it is from a distance.”
The phone conversation ended quickly when she is interrupted by her children. I hear her son in the background say, “I thought Max was your invisible friend like my ‘Billy’.”
I wore a sports coat for my dinner with Bobbi Monday evening; I notice walking by a mirror in the restaurant I looked a little like a woman in a blazer and blouse. My long hair is fashioned like a guy, but that didn’t stop people taking a second look as I went to the men’s restroom.
Bobbie hesitates in asking, but finally does? “Did you dress that way to please me? It really shows the breadth of who you are.”
She’s surprised when I say, “No, I had left off somethings. It wasn’t until I passed a long mirror and then went to the men’s restroom that I noticed how I might appear to others. I apologize if it embarrasses you.”
She says, “I’m not embarrassed and I wish you weren’t. If you take off your jacket, I think only a few women would notice. I understand the professional look. I like that you’re an attractive man as well.”
I watch what I eat as it is easy to put on a few soft pounds around my mid-section and rear.
I am impressed with how developed Bobbie’s plans are, but notice that her first name is Joanna and I ask her about it. “My name is officially Johanna Roberta Freyja; German folklore has me as a young goddess both a warrior and beautiful, though I’m neither.”
I say, “Now who’s putting their self down?”
She says, “I like going by Bobbie for rodeo and riding purposes and as an American, and Joanna for business purposes.”
I joke, “So you shy away from being seen as a young goddess of German or Norwegian descent? Your change of appearance is dramatic enough to suggest you have mystical powers.”
Bobbie smiles, “No, I’d wouldn’t be bothered if someone wondered. If it is how someone recognizes me, I’m happier for it. The Freyja can be cunning warriors as well as beautifully luring beings.”
She has a presence that makes accepting the folklore that much more inviting. I am sure it is the lighting of the supper club, as her eyes sparkle like there’s a light coming from them.
We work at our table for the better part of an hour, no it was more. We moved to the lounge, continued to talk business as well as to get to know each other. Bobbi finally asks me to dance with her and we shared several dances. The last dance was a bit embarrassing as she became the lead dancer. Somehow I found myself intoxicated with her presence.
Tuesday and Wednesday are spent by me at her farm, checking her horses, the farm and the business records. I check her financial records. Most of all I am taken with how she treats her animals and those of her clients. For a horse person, there is a lot to be said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. Bobbi seems to be the same whether I or others are watching or not. She has three part-time workers two that are capable and wanting to be full-time.
Bobbie is said to have a disciplined regiment of keeping herself in shape as well as working hard in the business. Much of the week is not filled with being around each other. We both had a lot to do. She is doing her regular work as well as working to change things over. Wednesday I did ride Buster around her farm and several times we meet and ride together, a short distance on our horses. It is not until Thursday even that we take time for ourselves and rode off her farm cutting through a wooded area to another place several miles away. Bobbie says it would have been ten miles if we had to use the roads and drive there because of the mountains.
I am not sure what we were doing until we ride onto someone’s property and she calls the man, “Jerry”. She then introduces him as Jerry Long and his boy as Connor. I soon recognize the woman coming around the house with her daughter as being Aya. It is such a joy to see her again. She has matured and if anything is more attractive than before. The one noticeable change is her hips and breast from having two children.
I can feel Jerry’s eyes size me and then he relaxes as if discounting his competition. I had put in a long day and wearing a sports bra, my upper body has tell-tale feminine signs. The biggest step that evening is not Jerry accepting me, but it is getting to see Aya again and appearing relaxed as I do.
I don’t hug Aya worried that her husband would get jealous; it is Aya who hugs me while holding her daughter on her hip. I help carry refreshments out to the dining room table. Aya had set out to be a doctor until she met Jerry. She became a paramedic and worked to help put Jerry through med-school. Aya has blossomed from the cute and intelligent young woman I knew to become a more outgoing and confident woman who likes taking control and making decisions.
She’s the woman, person, I’d like to be like. She used the tip of her finger to touch my chest area. When I look down, she quickly lifts her hand to touch and honk my nose. “I thought you were hiding those?” Aya has picked up where we had left off. She would always say whatever she wanted and would cause me to think. “Bobbi has to whet your appetite for more than just business. She’s a really good person, I hope it works out for you.”
I said, “Slow down if anything happens it will have to take time. I’m still pragmatic about business, friendship and if it goes further we’ll see in time.”
Aya smiles, “You’ve opened up and that is a big step, and you and I are friends again that’s enough for now. She hands me her daughter asking me to hold her as she organizes a tray. Elena is comfortable with me and I'm showing Elena attention as I visit with her mother. I did not realize what Elena is doing until her mother says, “Elena don’t touch like that.”
Aya, “She doesn’t usually warm up to men, but I can see why she’s made an exception. She’s a very sensitive woman, I think she knows you’re her mommy’s friend. ...Does Bobbie know you had crushes on women movie and singing stars? That you wanted me to call you Penny after Penelope Cruz or Britt after Brittany Spears?”
I say, “No and I hope you’re not going to tell her. I think she’d be more apt to want me to dress more like a girl sometimes. If she thinks I’d enjoy it.”
Aya had just picked up the tray to carry it into the dining area, “And you couldn’t honestly say, you wouldn’t like too.”
I say, “You know darn well I wouldn’t.”
Aya says, “You probably wouldn’t for anybody but the right person. But unless you’ve changed, I think you’d like to do it.” We become quiet as we go through the door.
I sit across from Aya and next to Joanna as they usually called her. Jerry asks Max, “So are you going to be in our area more working with Joanna. It sounds like you might be able to help her dreams come alive.”
Max says, “It looks like we both have dreams that could come true with the help of the other. I guess helping to implement the plan I’d be down here a fair amount the first year or two.”
Jerry asks, “Has she talked you into riding with her on some of her rodeo gigs?” Panic hits the faces of Aya and Joanna, as I have no idea what is being talked about. Jerry quickly tries to backtrack, “I’m sorry I probably overheard something wrong and shouldn’t have said it anyway.”
I look to Bobbie and I can’t tell if she’s upset or getting sick. I ask, “What was he referring to?”
Aya says, “Now you need to tell him. I’m sorry Jerry spoke like that, but it’s out and…”
Bobbie's near tears as she says, “But he won’t understand and everything will fall apart.”
Bobbie takes my hand and asks me to sit. “If this ever would have happened it was to be sometime in the future, you need to believe me. But I hoped to talk you into riding like a cowgirl with me and we develop an act of us riding flags in to begin a lot of the rodeo shows and other things to display horsemanship.”
I am so embarrassed to think she wanted my help as a businessman. Yes, she wants to grow her business, but I guess I’m to become one of the frills.” I am quickly up, out the door and on a horse riding off Aya’s property. I’m in enough of a gallop that neither Aya nor Bobbie should be catching up to me. I slow up enough not to strain the horse as it takes time to get back to Bobbie’s ranch. I take off the saddle and brush and towel down my horse enough she won’t get sick on the return to my farm.
Today was one of those travel times home that it took longer to get home. I was upset as someone was there, though I don’t recognize the beautiful pick-up. I’m putting my horse away in her stable and put some hay and grain in her feeding trough. There’s a knock and I look up to see Aya.
She says “I’m sorry I didn’t know Jerry had heard us talking sometime back. You might not believe me, but you do need to hear me out. No one, save jealous Jerry was out to hurt you. He will pay dearly for that.”
Aya says, “Do you want to talk here or can we go to your house and sit down and talk?”
I say, “There’s nothing to talk about, I’ve been made a fool. She’s been playing me along. I’ve made plans to open my own business and now I discover it is a big joke. You might as well get in your fancy truck and get out of here. I had hoped I would see you but my old friend wouldn’t have been mean, like this. What did I do to deserve this?”
It's obvious that Aya's hurt. ‘I guess she didn’t expect things to backfire.’ “So why are you all teary-eyed Aya?”
She softly says, having trouble speaking, “I was just getting you back as my friend, I hoped, my best friend. Now I’ll just be satisfied you know the truth and that maybe I can limit your hurt.”
Max says, “What did you think would happen to manipulate me for some dumb end like that?”
Aya says, “That wasn’t the goal; Jerry overheard part of a conversation. It was much different from what he said. Yes, Joanna is attracted to you and your androgynous side. She’s the kind of person I always dreamed and hoped would come into your life. But it is not to parade you around. She knows you have a mind for business; she’s been hoping for that too. There is no shame in a friend wanting to encourage the androgynous side that you’ve pushed so far down. She is not one of the high school guys that tormented you.”
Max kind of laughs, “So you’re expecting me to believe that she’s in love with my girl side along with being interested in me?”
“Yes, she sees what she calls Maxie as being you. She thinks Max and Maxie are the same people, but as I knew, she sees Maxie’s not as inhibited as much as Max.”
Aya says, “When I saw you look at Bobbie, you like her a lot more than you’re willing to show. Or was I wrong?” …Max didn’t say anything, and Aya sees through him. “I thought I was right and you fell in love with her, as she did with you.”
Max says, “She sent you after I didn’t she? Well, you shouldn’t have come. You two hurt me; trying to salvage my job and pick up the pieces will set me back quite a bit. You didn’t factor that in, did you?"
Aya begins crying again and moves gently forward hitting Max ever so softly. Hammering me gently in frustration. “That is that little boy who’s afraid to believe. I use to be able to reach you and we had so many wonderful times together. This is not a trick, if you’d look into my eyes you’d know that and how happy I had become for you.”
Something clicked inside and I looked at her. Maxie came forward and the emotional front I had cemented back in place is falling away. Maxie hugs Aya as her body is responding too. Aya felt the warm heat come to Maxie’s breasts. She's now holding Maxie next to her, letting Maxie cry.
Finally, Aya pulls herself back, “Do you still have a peasant blouse and a nice skirt? You need to change into it and we can go visit with your Bobbie.”
Max tries to stiffen up and set his feet again, “No, I can’t do that! Maybe some time.”
One of Aya’s hands is holding Max’s and gently taping her shoulder, “You know very well if you don’t go now you’re likely never going to get around to it.” She says, “This isn’t just to make her happy, this is mostly for you.”
Max sniffles; it has been a long time since Aya has heard this sniffle before, it’s Maxie’s. Max gets up and walks into his bedroom. “Let me get started, but if you’d like to come in and talk while I get ready you can.”
She listens as the showers being used and waits another fifteen minutes before knocking. “Are you decent, so I can safely come in?” She hears a faint voice but didn’t understand what is said. She did, however, recognize Maxine’s voice. She knocks again and starts into the room.
I say, “Could you please call me Marci or help me to decide a more suitable name?”
Aya came in as Marci's pulling her blouse down from over her head. Aya laughs, she's used to Max wearing bulky clothes to cover any sign of his feminine side. The peasant blouse and skirt were loose, but they accent her female identity in the most pleasant ways. Marci is a nicely endowed young woman. She's pulling on a pair of riding boots over her knee-high socks. She hadn’t noticed before but Marci’s feet are smaller and thinner than most men’s feet.
They soon are out to the barn to check the horses’ water.
Aya suggests Marci ride with her to Joanna’s and without thinking things through Marci does.
Not pulling a horse trailer, time went fast as they talk and are soon there. Joanna seeing Aya’s truck came running out; seemingly she's been crying. Joanna looks in puzzlement as a second woman gets out of the truck. It takes time before she recognizes “Maxie!”
She wants to give Maxie a big hug and kiss, but she pauses. Her head goes down, “I am so sorry, can you ever forgive me?”
Aya leans toward Joanna and whispers, “She would like to be called Marci.” Marci says, “I should have asked my mother what she would have named me as a girl?”
Joanna says, “I think Marci is beautiful. I think it fits you beautifully.”
Marci takes a step closer to Joanna, “I’m sorry I doubted you. I would love to see me through your eyes. Aya can tell you I have trouble being me.” Marci feels something stir her inside as she is becoming very warm. She embraces Joanna and gives her a gentle kiss that grows full of passion. Marci would regularly be embarrassed if her breasts became hot, not this time.
Finally, the kiss is over and Joanna has Marci turn around in her arms as she begins to talk to Aya. “We don’t know how to thank you enough. I don’t know what you said to Marci, but I’m indebted to you. I’m sure we have a ways to go, but I was afraid everything was over. I could have lost the ranch and it wouldn’t have hurt as much as losing her felt for the past two hours.”
Marci lifts Joanna’s hand to her lips and gives it a kiss. Aya speaks up, “I think I should be getting home.”
Joanna says, “I think we’d like you to stay to share a glass of wine and to let us talk.” Marci nods her head and whispers, “Please.”
As they walk to the house, Aya receives a phone call. She answers and it’s her husband Jerry. “I am over at Joanna’s. I’d appreciate you handling things there and giving me time to visit here. …I know you're not used to that. I’m a bit upset with you and it will probably be better if I don’t rush home. …No, I still love you, but I don’t like how you acted. Yes, they’re both here. Now relax and I’ll be home a little later.”
The next hour is reminiscing between Aya and Marci and the three enjoying each other. The wine and cheese help them to relax. Asked what Marci likes best about the evening, she says, “The fact that the person I have come to admire and my best friend get along.”
Joanna had washed enough to lose the fragrance of being sweaty and around the horse. Aya makes mention how Marci is comfortable with being in Joanna’s arms. Joanna nibbles on Marci’s earlobe, asking, has this usually been hard on you?”
Marci blushes, “Max usually can’t allow himself to relax and enjoy being me. Yes, tonight is very unusual and very special. I think I owe it all to Aya.” Tears fill Marci’s eyes as she tries to express her thankfulness. The words won’t come as emotions get the better of her. Previously she would recover by becoming Max and getting distant again, but not tonight.
Finally, the conversation winds down and Aya stands to say goodnight. Marci and Joanna both hug her and walk her out to her truck.
Marci calls her neighbor Scott to make sure he would take care of the horses in the morning. Scott knew Max had a feminine side, but it is the first time he has received a phone call from her.
Hand in hand she walks back into the house with Joanna. Once in the house, Marci reaches behind her back and unsnaps her bra. Soon she has freed her bra to be pulled out from under her blouse. The top three buttons of the peasant blouse are undone.
Marci several times has to fight her own resistance to Joanna arousing her. Joanna gives a pleasure-filled moan as she is seeking to bring Marci to a full orgasm. Marci feels her emotions and joy rolling over her like waves, each holds more joy than the wave before. “Oh, oh, ooohh Joanna.” Joanna does not stop and Marci just tries to love her back as best she can.
It is five-thirty when Marci wakes up and they’re in Joanna’s bed. She does not remember going to sleep or when they stopped making love. She uses the toilet and is soon back to the bed. Finally, Joanna holds up the sheets inviting Marci back beside her. The next half hour is not hot passionate love, it is a beautiful time of being in each other’s arms. Warm gentle kisses caress each other in so many places. Expressing their love engulfs them until they fall asleep again.
It is passed nine-thirty in the morning when Marci wakes up and Joanna is in a chair nearby sipping a cup of coffee watching Marci. Seemingly, Joanna has taken care of chores. Marci sits up, smiles and says I could get used to this.
Joanna moves over to the bed and asks, “Are you fully awake?” When Marci acknowledges she is, Joanna takes hold of her hand. “Will you marry me and wake up next to me every day of our lives?”
The End
Revisited
I'm reposting this story as I will add to it.
My name is Max and I’m a pretty good computer programmer working for a larger company. I’ve been developing my own business for the past three years. When I’m not working, I love riding horses as I have since I was a kid.
A Hall of Fame for Trotters is not that far from here where I grew up. Growing up as I did, I wanted to stand on my own. I did not get into trotting horses, instead, I loved riding horses in other ways like calf and livestock roping from horseback, doing barrel races, jumping and racing over and around obstacles, as well as trail and off-trail riding.
Generally, I feel good about myself as I’ve adjusted over time to how others look at me. My body is pretty androgynous. I’m not comfortable with the label of a hermaphrodite as I try only to see myself as Max, a guy.
Two weeks ago that started to change when Bobbi Freyja started taking notice of me and liking what she saw.
I had noticed her two months before when she started to bring her horses out to this one stable to ride in the open country. I was not surprised that she did not notice me. We’ve become friends enough to say hello and comment about our horses or riding in general.
Most of my competition riding stopped my junior year of college and I’m now seven years past that. I enjoy being a very good rider and horse person who relies on finesse and being a good horse trainer. I do so by getting close to the horses I train by using technique and caring as opposed to strength and dominance.
By the time I was sixteen, I stopped winning many competitions that depended upon subjective judging. Winning second or third and getting a pat on the back or verbal accolades had to do, though I’d stride for better. Supposedly I’m a well-respected male rider, just not the rugged, manly-looking guy that some contest promoters wanted to see as their winner.
When Bobbi Freyja came to train horses and compete in our area as well as ride in rodeos; people stopped and took notice. From the back, especially on casual days, she was often mistaken for a lean cowboy. Straight on, especially from the front, she presented herself as a very attractive female rider. She was seen as a cowboy’s cowboy. More than once I saw her get in someone’s face if she wasn’t respected. She didn’t go for women being spoken down to.
We’re both about five foot seven and once John a friend of mine had trouble identifying us from behind. He joked that from behind I had nice hips that is if I were a woman.
=^..^=
It was two weeks ago that we were both at the riding stable, I had just come back from riding my horse Sally some two miles over some trails and terrain through an undeveloped state park in central New York. I had tied my horse up to let her cool down. I had stopped early having other things that I should be doing today and planned to get home soon.
Bobbi comes walking and calls me, “Hey Maxie,” I look up and turn to see what she wants. She walks up and pushes me back several times until I’m up against the stable. She took off my riding hat and gently tossed it aside propped me up against the stable and gave me a big warm kiss.
It was nice, really nice, and if it had been the other way around I would have thought it was great. If I had done it to Bobbi, she probably would have pushed me back and been offended, seeing me as sexist.
She pulled back from the kiss and embrace saying, “Nice that was as good, even better than I had hoped. Did you enjoy it as much as I did?” She looked down toward my waist, “I guess you probably did.”
While it was not obvious, I was turned on and loved the kiss and I told her. “Bobbi, other than being surprised I like it very much.”
Without much more than a pause for air, Bobbi said, “Would you be up for riding out today? I’ve been working up the nerve to ask you to ride with me, what do you say?”
“I was just on a short ride. I know Sally wouldn’t mind but I have been planning to get some stuff done today.” Bobbi is glowing a little, while also keeping her composure.
She says, “That would be good. If you could use some help at your place, maybe I could help there after our ride.” Bobbi walks over with me to my horse, “She’s a good-looking horse and I’ve seen you work her. She is a very well-trained horse; she has spirit.” I noticed that Bobbi has Shocker out to ride. Shocker is also a good horse, but it is her second-best horse. I can only guess that she has Shocker out because he’s only about half a hand taller whereas Dark Knight is larger.
“I love Shocker’s chestnut coloring. I bet it’s a great horse for barrel and any western riding completion?”
Bobbi agrees, “He has an edge there over Dark Knight there, I like how he handles in tight turns and his footwork. Let me go get him saddled up and I’ll be right back.” I quickly changed my horse blanket on Sally, put the saddle back on, and rode her over to Bobbi.
We got into the state park and onto a trail that would soon branch off Bobbi takes the lead and I like the trail she chose when it branches off. Depending on how we go there are some open fields and spaces to run along with two wide paths. It goes among the trees, up some good climbs with spectacular views. She moved over where we could ride together side by side. Bobbi is talking more than I usually hear her. I'm even more surprised as she talks a lot about women’s riding wear from colorful tops and riding jeans to longer skirts which I guess she wore for shows and presentations. If my opinion seems to matter to her I am appreciative.
We approach a ridge where there is a beautiful vista, I ask, “Hey would you mind taking the time to see this beautiful view at the pinnacle of the ridge?” When Bobbi Freyja joyfully says yes, I lead the way with my horse. We meander through shrubs, small trees, and tall grasses on an unmarked path that I and my horse instinctively know. Once there we first enjoy the panoramic view on horseback. Then we dismount with reins in hand walk to the edge of a drop-off and take in a different view of its beauty.
Bobbi has a blanket roll that she's loosened from her saddle, spreads out on the ground, and invites me to relax and enjoy the scenery together. She says, “Hey, I’ve seen a picture of you earlier from before you started wearing the loose-fitting bulky clothes you wear now. You know you’re a cute, good-looking guy.”
“You know,” I say, “‘cute’ is not a descriptive word a guy likes to hear about himself.”
Without apology, she says, “You’re better than that. You probably don’t know how neat and pretty you are.”
I chuckle, “I’m not sure what you mean by that. Then again that’s why I like riding out into the country and seeing great views like this. One can look and take it in for whatever one sees and enjoys.”
Bobbi pushes me back, “I hope you don’t mind my being a little forward.” She moves to kiss me again and I’m smelling the light fragrance of wildflowers and a woman. Her breath is fresh, first like a cool breeze, then it turns warm and passionate. She is partly on top of me. She pulls back while continuing to push me down. She’s unbuttoning my shirt only to find I’m dressed in layers. Finally, she forces her hands under my clothing saying, “There you are.”
She is kissing me again and I can tell she likes the guy she is holding. It feels good, but wrong for my male ego. I'm not used to these beautiful feelings that are washing over me. Finally, I’m just hugging her and getting lost in a long kiss along with her eyes and her smile. Bobbie’s hair encases my face as she moves down to kiss me again. This time she is not kissing me but lightly biting my lower lip and then she moves to nibble on my ear and French kisses it.
“Bobbi you’re driving me crazy, I hardly know…”
“Stay down and enjoy it. If you haven’t figured it out, I’ve been thinking about you.” As she moves back and forth from kissing my right earlobe to my neck, her hand under my clothes has found the nipple of my left breast. She slowly arouses the nipple and sends growing sensations shooting through my body as well as to my brain. Thankfully she relaxes and we just lay together for a while.
It takes the naying of the horses to bring us to the attention of the world around us. We get back on our horses and ride on. We come to a stream that meanders down the mountain and came to an area where it pools into a small pond nicely hidden away from any trail. Again Bobbie dismounts her horse and goes over to the pool of water. “Aya Long told me you grew up as close friends and as teenagers, you and she discovered this pool and had some fun here. Do you remember Aya and the fun you had here?”
I'm blushing remembering what we did there. I had lost track of Aya when she went away to college and later got a job, hundreds of miles away. She had married away from here sometime after her parents died. While I was invited to the wedding, even to be part of it it had not worked out to go because of my job. After that, I lost track of her.
I'm now wondering how Aya and Bobbie know each other and how much Bobbie knows of me through her.
“You need to know she did not tell me about your female side. I'm the one who brought it up to her. I help train her horses now and sometimes we get to ride together here on Sundays or an odd Monday that she takes off.” Bobbie pauses, “She says you used to keep yourself nice and trim but went back to wearing loose and bulky clothes after you started to mature.”
Bobbi says, “I am sorry if I’ve been too forward today in my feelings for you. They’ve been bottled up, I liked you from early on. Um, more exactly I felt attracted to you when I saw earlier pictures and realized you’re androgynous. Then my feelings became even stronger.”
Max, “You’ve become more attracted to me because I’m androgynous that’s a switch. It’s usually been quite different.” Usually, when people see me as being androgynous that’s when the attraction ends.
Bobbie says, “Times have changed since you went to hiding yourself. I don’t mean to be flippant or insensitive; I don’t know what it feels like being you. But yes, I am even more attracted to you. I’m interested in knowing you fully. You might think I’m weird for that and wonder about me. You’ve seen me around, so you know I don’t express my emotions and passion much outside of horses and rodeo gigs.”
We sit down by the pool of water and we talk. I learn Aya lives south of the state park and the stable, closer to Bobbie. Aya knew I didn’t live with my folks anymore, but she didn’t know I was still in the area. She hasn’t searched me out because her husband is jealous of me because of our past friendship. As much as anything Bobbi and I talk about horses, Bobbie, and only a little about Aya.
Bobbie didn’t mention it but I realized by the way she looked at me; she’d be happy if I dressed differently. It is warm enough that I walk a ways off to take off my bulky pullover but put my shirt back on.
One might wonder why I didn’t just take more things off there, but I’m a bit sensitive as I wear a sports bra when I go riding to protect my breasts. I’m not comfortable with Bobbie seeing that. Bobbie giggled as I came back, “You know I felt your sports bra and your girls under there when I got passionate with you.”
I now become embarrassed even more. “And you’re alright with that,” I ask.
She giggles again, “I thought I made it quite obvious how I thought about you. Come here please and I will put an exclamation point on my display of affection for you. I am quite uncomfortable usually being this passionate, but for you, I make an exception.”
I keep a comfortable distance, offering my hand only to help her get up, to begin riding back. It has been a beautiful time. Bobbie is pressing after we ride back, for her to come to see where I live and help with a chore or two before she heads south to her place. “Please, and I’ll come just as a friend. I want to take time to know you first as a friend.”
Now it’s me giggling, “Yes, I could tell that. I need to feed both of my horses and clean their bedding areas. If you want to help with that I won’t turn away another pair of hands.” It takes a good twenty minutes to a half-hour to get from the stable up to my place, longer with someone following me with both of us having trailers.
I too enjoy the time of just being friends and having someone to help with chores. Bobbie takes an interest in learning about my running my own company part-time, as well as my regular job in Newberry. She tells me of her need to expand her business and take it to the next level with more marketing, and keeping track of the horses and clients she works with. “If we could work out a deal of me being one of your clients would you be able to go out full-time on your own,” she asks.
I take her into my house and office to show her my set-up and the different types of work I do; could do if I had the time.
She says, “You do know there are many in the rodeo, horse, and the larger related industries could benefit from your services?”
I say, “I’m good at what I do and promoting others, but I’m not much of a salesperson in promoting myself. It would probably take too long of a time to get established.”
Bobbie says, “That is where having an outgoing friend and client like me would make a big difference.”
I'm thinking, 'My employer is about to change their system of computer operations and communications. I would not mind missing that especially as I’m one of the junior workers.' “Bobbie, I’d have to put a pencil to things and make it work. The worst part would be how reliable you are to be someone I can do business with. Doing business with friends can be hard on relationships.”
Bobbie says, “It would more likely change if you didn’t deliver on the services, I suspect. Or maybe you need to check on me and see if I am a good risk and have a good history of paying obligations.” She says, “It would be good if we take enough time to do it appropriately and have third parties check figures for each of us.”
I say, “I’m interested and have two weeks of vacation time that I need to use or lose. If you are serious, I’d like to work out an agreement with you. I also have to work out the figures and steps I need to take to go full-time and incorporate my business.”
Bobbie Freyja hugs me and invites me out to dinner on Monday evening, a working dinner meeting.
Sunday, I received a call from Aya, she had been Aya Kleinhorst when we were growing up. She had dark black hair and the looks of her Egyptian mother, and her dad’s name. “I’ve been wanting to call Max and find out how you are. A mutual friend Joanna Freyja told me she had met you and shared your phone number. I hope that is alright. I want to meet with you again, but my husband Jeremiah has been jealous of you for years. My mentioning of you and several of our old friends. He is smart, rugged, and handsome and I’m very much in love with him, but our past friendship intimidates him.
Max says, “Doesn’t he know, we were never romantically involved that we thought being best friends was better?” I finally said, “To change the subject, how are you doing?”
Aya says, “Jerry and I are doing well. We are doing very well. We have a son Connor, four and Elena turned two last week. I’m a search and rescue paramedic. I’m scheduled Wednesday through Sunday at sunrise. Bobbie is our backup if I get called out or caught up in a search or rescue. ...I need to thank you for teaching me how to ride horses and about the outdoors.”
Aya changes the subject. “Joanna tells me you’re still wearing layers of clothes to hide. It sounds like you’ve found someone who likes you as you are. I bet that scares you. She tells me despite the outward appearance you’re trim and in good shape.”
I say, “Sounds like she couldn’t wait to tell you about me.”
Aya says, “Quite the opposite, I called her last night and pried it out of her. She's afraid you’ll think she spilled the beans. I could have described how you were dressed down to your liking for blue as well as being shy and self-deprecating. I told her, you’ve been like that since you went back into your shell. She wants to call you Maxie, but she did not get that from me. I hope you believe that. I am still one of your best friends even if it is from a distance.”
The phone conversation ended quickly when she was interrupted by her children. I hear her son in the background say, “I thought Max was your invisible friend like my ‘Billy’.”
I wore a sports coat for my dinner with Bobbi Monday evening; I noticed walking by a mirror in the restaurant I looked a little like a woman in a blazer and blouse. My long hair was fashioned like a guy, but that didn’t stop people from taking a second look as I went toward the men’s restroom.
Bobbie hesitates in asking but finally does. “Did you dress that way to please me? It shows the breadth of who you are.”
She’s surprised when I say, “No, I had left off some things. It wasn’t until I passed a long mirror and then went to the men’s restroom that I noticed how I might appear to others. I apologize if it embarrasses you.”
She says, “I’m not embarrassed and I wish you weren’t. If you take off your jacket, I think only a few women would notice. I understand the professional look. I like that you’re an attractive man as well.”
I watch what I eat as it is easy to put on a few soft pounds around my mid-section and rear.
I am impressed with how developed Bobbie’s plans are, but notice that her first name is Joanna and I ask her about it. “My name is officially Johanna Roberta Freyja; German folklore has me as a young goddess both a warrior and beautiful, though I’m neither.”
I say, “Now who’s putting themselves down?”
She says, “I like going by Bobbie for rodeo and riding purposes and as an American, and Joanna for business purposes.”
I joke, “So you shy away from being seen as a young goddess of German or Norwegian descent? Your change of appearance is dramatic enough to suggest you have mystical powers.”
Bobbie smiles, “No, I wouldn’t be bothered if someone wondered. If it is how someone recognizes me, I’m happier for it. The Freyja can be cunning warriors as well as beautiful luring beings.”
She has a presence that makes accepting the folklore that much more inviting. I am sure it is the lighting of the supper club, as her eyes sparkle there’s a light coming from them.
We worked at our table for the better part of an hour, no it was more. We moved to the lounge and continued to talk business and to get to know each other. Bobbi finally asked me to dance with her and we shared several dances. The last dance was a bit embarrassing as she became the lead dancer. Somehow I found myself intoxicated with her presence.
Tuesday and Wednesday are spent by me at her farm, checking her horses, the farm, and the business records. I check her financial records. Most of all I am taken with how she treats her animals. For a horse person, there is a lot to be said that you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals. Bobbi seems to be the same whether I or others are watching or not. She has three part-time workers, two that are capable and want to be full-time.
Bobbie is said to have a disciplined regimen of keeping herself in shape and working hard at the business. Much of the week is filled with our not being around each other. We had a lot to do. She is doing her regular work as well as working to change things over. Wednesday I did ride Buster around her farm and several times we met and rode together, a short distance on our horses. It was not until Thursday even that we took time for ourselves and rode off her farm cutting through a wooded area to another road and a place several miles away. Bobbie says it would have been ten miles if we had to use the roads and drive there because of the mountains.
I am unsure what we are doing until we ride onto someone’s property and she calls the man, “Jerry”. She then introduces him as Jerry Long and his boy as Connor. I soon recognize the woman coming around the house with her daughter, Aya. It is such a joy to see her again. She has matured and if anything is more attractive than before. The noticeable changes in her hips and breasts from having two children.
I can feel Jerry’s eyes size me and then he relaxes as if discounting his competition. I had put in a long day and wearing a sports bra, my upper body had tell-tale feminine signs. The biggest step that evening is not Jerry accepting me, but it is getting to see Aya again and appearing relaxed as I do.
I don’t hug Aya worried that her husband would get jealous; it is Aya who hugs me while holding her daughter on her hip. I help carry refreshments out to the dining room table. Aya had set out to be a doctor until she met Jerry. She became a paramedic and worked to help put Jerry through med school. Aya has blossomed from the cute and intelligent young woman I knew to become a more outgoing and confident woman who likes taking control and making decisions.
She’s the woman, person, I’d like to be like. She used the tip of her finger to touch my chest area. When I look down, she quickly lifts her hand to touch and honk my nose. “I thought you were hiding those?” Aya picked up where we had left off. She would always say whatever she wanted and would cause me to think. “Bobbi has whet your appetite for more than just business. She’s a good person, I hope it works out for you.”
I said, “Slow down if anything happens it will have to take time. I’m still pragmatic about business, friendship and if it goes further we’ll see in time.”
Aya smiles, “You’ve opened up and that is a big step, and you and I are friends again that’s enough for now. She hands me her daughter asking me to hold her as she organizes a food tray. Elena is comfortable with me and I'm showing Elena attention as I visit with her mother. I did not realize what Elena is doing until her mother said, “Elena don’t touch like that."
Aya, “She doesn’t usually warm up to men, but I can see why she’s made an exception. She’s a very sensitive girl, I think she knows you’re her mommy’s friend. ...Does Bobbie know you had crushes on women in movies and singing stars? You wanted me to call you Penny after Penelope Cruz or Britt after Brittany Spears?”
I say, “No and I hope you do not tell her. I think she’d be more apt to want me to dress more like a girl sometimes. If she thinks I would enjoy it.”
Aya had just picked up the tray to carry it into the dining area, “And you couldn’t honestly say, you wouldn’t like to.”
I say, “You know darn well I wouldn’t.”
Aya says, “You probably wouldn’t for anybody but the right person. But unless you’ve changed, I think you’d like to do it.” We become quiet as we go through the door.
I sit across from Aya and next to Joanna as they usually call her. Jerry asks Max, “So are you going to be in our area more working with Joanna? It sounds like you might be able to help her dreams come alive.”
Max says, “It looks like we both have dreams that could come true with the help of the other. I guess helping to implement the plan I’d be down here a fair amount the first year or two.”
Jerry asks, “Has she talked you into riding with her on some of her rodeo gigs?” Panic hits the faces of Aya and Joanna, as I have no idea what is being talked about. Jerry quickly tries to backtrack, “I’m sorry I probably overheard something wrong and shouldn’t have said it anyway.”
I look to Bobbie and I can’t tell if she’s upset or getting sick. I ask, “What was he referring to?”
Aya says, “Now you need to tell him. I’m sorry Jerry spoke like that, but it’s out and…”
Bobbie's near tears as she says, “But he won’t understand and everything will fall apart.”
Bobbie takes my hand and asks me to sit. “If this ever would have happened it was to be sometime in the future, you need to believe me. But I hoped to talk you into riding like a cowgirl with me and we develop an act of us riding flags in to begin a lot of the rodeo shows and other things to display horsemanship.”
I am so embarrassed to think she wanted my help as a businessman. Yes, she wants to grow her business, but I guess I’m to become one of the frills.” I am quickly up, out the door, and on a horse riding off Aya’s property. I’m in enough of a gallop that neither Aya nor Bobbie should be catching up to me. I slow up enough not to strain the horse as it takes time to get back to Bobbie’s ranch. I take off the saddle and brush and towel down my horse enough that she won’t get sick on the return to my farm.
Today was one of those travel times home that it took longer to get home. I was upset as someone was there, though I didn’t recognize the beautiful pick-up. I’m putting my horse away in her stable and putting some hay and grain in her feeding trough. There’s a knock and I look up to see Aya.
She says “I’m sorry I didn’t know Jerry had heard us talking sometime back. You might not believe me, but you do need to hear me out. No one, save jealous Jerry was out to hurt you. He will pay dearly for that.”
Aya says, “Do you want to talk here or can we go to your house and sit down and talk?”
I say, “There’s nothing to talk about, I’ve been made a fool. She’s been playing me along. I’ve made plans to open my own business and now I discover it is a big joke. You might as well get in your fancy truck and get out of here. I had hoped I would see you but my old friend wouldn’t have been mean, like this. What did I do to deserve this?”
It's obvious that Aya's hurt. ‘I guess she didn’t expect things to backfire.’ “So why are you all teary-eyed Aya?”
She softly says, having trouble speaking, “I was just getting you back as my friend, I hoped, my best friend. Now I’ll just be satisfied you know the truth and that maybe I can limit your hurt.”
I say, “What did you think would happen to manipulate me for some dumb end like that?”
Aya says, “That wasn’t the goal; Jerry overheard part of a conversation. It was much different from what he said. Yes, Joanna is attracted to you and your androgynous side. She’s the kind of person I always dreamed and hoped would come into your life. But it was not to parade you around. She knows you have a mind for business; she’s been hoping for that too. There is no shame in a friend wanting to encourage the androgynous side that you’ve pushed so far down. She is not one of the high school guys that tormented you.”
I kind of laugh, “So you’re expecting me to believe that she’s in love with my girl side along with being interested in me?”
“Yes, she sees what she calls Maxie as being you. She thinks Max and Maxie are the same people, but as I knew, she sees Maxie’s not inhibited like Max.”
Aya says, “When I saw you look at Bobbie, you like her a lot more than you’re willing to show. Or was I wrong?” …Max didn’t say anything, and Aya saw through him. “I thought I was right and you fell in love with her, as she did with you.”
I say, “She sent you after me, didn’t she? Well, you shouldn’t have come. You two hurt me; trying to salvage my real job and pick up the pieces will set me back quite a bit. You didn’t factor that in, did you?"
Aya begins crying again and moves gently forward hitting me ever so softly. Hammering me gently in frustration. “That is that little boy who’s afraid to believe. I used to be able to reach you and we had so many wonderful times together. This is not a trick, if you’d look into my eyes you’d know that and how happy I had become for you.”
Something clicked inside and I looked at her. Maxie came forward and the emotional front I had cemented back in place is falling away. Maxie hugs Aya as her body responds. Aya felt the warm heat come to Maxie’s breasts. She's now holding Maxie next to her, letting Maxie cry.
Finally, Aya pulls herself back, “Do you still have a peasant blouse and a nice skirt? You need to change into it and then we can go visit with your Bobbie.”
I try to stiffen up and set my feet again, “No, I can’t do that! Maybe sometime.”
One of Aya’s hands is holding me and gently taping my shoulder, “You know very well if you don’t go now you’ll never get around to it.” She says, “This isn’t just to make her happy, this is mostly for you.”
I sniffle; it has been a long time since Aya has heard this sniffle, it’s Maxie’s. Max gets up and walks into his bedroom. “Let me get started, but if you’d like to come in and talk while I get ready you can.”
She listens as the shower is being used and waits another fifteen minutes before knocking. “Are you decent, so I can safely come in?” She hears a faint voice but doesn’t understand what is said. She did, however, recognize Maxine’s voice. She knocks again and starts into the room.
I say, “Could you please call me Marci or help me to decide on a more suitable name?”
Aya came in as Marci pulled her blouse down from over her head. Aya laughs, she's used to Max wearing bulky clothes to cover any sign of his feminine side. The peasant blouse and skirt were loose, but they accent her in pleasant ways. Marci is a nicely endowed young woman. She's pulling on a pair of riding boots over her knee-high socks. She hadn’t noticed but Marci’s feet are smaller and thinner than most men’s feet.
They soon are out to the barn to check the horses’ water and feed.
Aya suggests Marci ride with her to Joanna’s, and without thinking things through Marci does. Not pulling a horse trailer, time went fast as they talked and were soon there. Joanna seeing Aya’s truck came running out; seemingly she'd been crying. Joanna looks in puzzlement as a second woman gets out of the truck. It takes time before she recognizes “Maxie!”
She wants to give Maxie a big hug and kiss, but she pauses. Her head goes down, “I am so sorry, can you ever forgive me?”
Aya leans toward Joanna and whispers, “She would like to be called Marci.”
Marci says, “I should have asked my mother what she would have named me as a girl?”
Joanna says, “I think Marci is beautiful. I think it fits you beautifully.”
Marci takes a step closer to Joanna, “I’m sorry I doubted you. I would love to see you through your eyes. Aya can tell you I have trouble being me.” Marci feels something stir her inside as she is becoming very warm. She embraces Joanna and gives her a gentle kiss that grows full of passion. Marci would regularly be embarrassed if her breasts became hot, but not this time.
Finally, the kiss is over and Joanna has Marci turn in her arms as she begins to talk to Aya. “We don’t know how to thank you enough. I don’t know what you said to Marci, but I’m indebted to you. I’m sure we have a way to go, but I was afraid everything was over. I could have lost the ranch and it wouldn’t have hurt as much as losing Marci felt for the past two hours.”
Marci lifts Joanna’s hand to her lips and kisses it. Aya speaks up, “I think I should be getting home.”
Joanna says, “I think we’d like you to stay to share a glass of wine and to let us talk.” Marci nods her head and whispers, “Please.”
As they walk to the house, Aya receives a phone call. She answers and it’s her husband Jerry. “I am over at Joanna’s. I’d appreciate you handling things there and giving me time to visit here. …I know you're not used to that. I’m a bit upset with you and it will probably be better if I don’t rush home. …No, I still love you, but I don’t like how you acted. Yes, they’re both here. Now relax and I’ll be home a little later.”
The next hour is reminiscing between Aya and Marci and the three enjoying each other. The wine and cheese help them to relax. Asked what Marci likes best about the evening, she says, “The fact that the person I have come to admire and my best friend get along.”
Joanna had washed enough to lose the fragrance of being sweaty and around the horse. Aya mentions how Marci is comfortable with being in Joanna’s arms. Joanna nibbles on Marci’s earlobe, asking, has this usually been hard on you?”
Marci blushes, “Max usually can’t allow himself to relax and enjoy being me. Yes, tonight is very unusual and very special. I think I owe it all to Aya.” Tears fill Marci’s eyes as she tries to express her thankfulness. The words won’t come as emotions get the better of her. Previously she would recover by becoming Max and getting distant again, but not tonight.
Finally, the conversation winds down and Aya stands to say goodnight. Marci and Joanna both hug her and walk her out to her truck.
Marci called her neighbor Scott to ask if he would take care of the horses in the morning. Scott knew Max had a feminine side, but it was the first time he had received a phone call from her.
Hand in hand she walks back into the house with Joanna. Once in the house, Marci reaches behind her back and unsnaps her bra. Soon she has freed her bra to be pulled out from under her blouse. The top three buttons of the peasant blouse are undone.
Marci several times has to fight her resistance to Joanna arousing her. Joanna gives a pleasure-filled moan as she seeks to bring Marci to a full orgasm. Marci feels her emotions and joy rolling over her like waves, each holds more joy than the wave before. “Oh, oh, Oooh Joanna.” Joanna does not stop and Marci tries to love her back as best she can.
It is five-thirty when Marci wakes up and they’re in Joanna’s bed. She does not remember going to sleep or when they stopped making love. She uses the toilet and is soon back to the bed. Finally, Joanna holds up the sheets inviting Marci back beside her. The next half hour is not hot passionate love; it is a beautiful time of being in each other’s arms. Warm gentle kisses caress each other in so many places. Expressing their love engulfed them until they fell asleep again.
It is passed nine-thirty when Marci wakes up and Joanna is in a chair nearby sipping a cup of coffee and watching Marci. Seemingly, Joanna has taken care of chores. Marci sits up, smiles, and says I could get used to this.
Joanna moves over to the bed and asks, “Are you fully awake?” When Marci acknowledges she is, Joanna takes hold of her hand. “Will you marry me and wake up next to me every day of our lives?”
To be continued…
Becoming Marci
It wasn’t like Max to relax and let his guard down, but this had been a long time coming. It was like a dam crumbling once it broke. Max’s feminine side was yearning to be. He had bought a 300-acre section that was part of the same two-mile section of his parents. His property opened on a gravel road away from his parents’ place on another road. He had two 80-acre fenced-in fields and the rest in a forest of trees and shrubs.
His parents, Manfred and Beth (Schmidt) Schneider, had over 650 acres. Scott Mc Connor had married their daughter Catherine and they failed when they went out on their own to farm. Max’s sister hung in with Scott, through the ugly ordeal of losing their property while beginning their family. Now they lived close by having a small acreage and raising three children. Scott helped Manfred manage the family farm, receiving some added income.
The farm originally the Klein Schmidt’s place came from Beth’s family and was left to them. They helped take care of Beth’s sister Karen. Aunt Karen had one crippled hand but made rag rugs to earn some of her own money. During good times she could make $1,000 a month but there were years she barely made $6,000 and she would have doctor and medicine bills that were more costly.
Max hid that he was transgender because he was androgynous, which was not news to the family. It was Max hiding his identity, himself as Marci was new. Max had always assumed the world would end and even his family would change if he came out as Marci.
The day Marci woke up in Bobbi’s bed was great but would it last, if life as it had been would change? Max had the rest of the week and would end his vacation going with Bobbi to a rodeo. Did Max dare change the business by adding Marci’s identity? And if so, how would it do with horses, cattle, and small business people? Max was not ready to step back into the shadows of his identity.
The week came together well and now the weekend was the first Max went to his first horse exhibition without his baggy clothing. He was wearing a sports bra. A few people now knowing Max is also Marci, begin using Marci’s name. He was with Bobbi though not riding with her at the opening nor in competition. Max had previously planned to ride Sally in competition but opted out.
True to her word Bobbi helped Max to set up a display table for his business. A mutual friend Virginia Belen visited with Marci just before most shops would open and convinced Marci to allow her to help her select some riding clothes. “Max, you might as well be upfront with who you are as you establish your business. This community can be a bit fussy but they’ll have more respect for you if you’re open about being you.”
Marci got two riding skirts that can easily be used for business with horse people. She also got a pink cotton blouse with Western-style scrollwork. A blue and white blouse was also ordered and should be ready tomorrow or Sunday. Marci selected to have colored needlework with the images of her riding horses.
Marci and Virginia watched Bobbi’s last completion of the day. She’s riding Shocker in a head-to-head barrel race competition for the championship in her class. Max had always been better at competing than watching unless it was for someone he instructed. Marci was excited as she had someone she was rooting for. One of the keys to the race was the start and with the gun, Bobbi was off to a great start and made a sharp turn without losing much momentum.
Bobbi had a small lead as she made her turn, and then drove Shocker as fast as she could go to the finish line. Bobbi was relieved as Virginia and Marci walked up to congratulate her. Before the race Bobbi had not recognized Marci in the stands; she was looking for Max. She had not known she changed clothes or recognized her new look.
It proved an awkward moment for Marci as her male ego reared its ugly head and embarrassed as Bobbi swept her in her arms and up on the horse, once she recognized Marci. It wasn’t bad as much as it was something Max needed to get used to.
What Max had forgotten something; Bobbi quickly reminded Marci that they were to meet his parents for dinner. It wasn’t to be anything fancy so Marci could go as she is. Bobbi and Marci both asked Virginia for help to do her makeup for the evening. Marci calls ahead to warn her Mom and Dad. Ma Schneider says, “It was going to come, so tonight is as good as any time.”
Johann (John) and Marguerite (Frigg) Freyja
Since being asked to marry Joanna, Max had turned in his resignation to the corporation where he’s worked for the past six years. Max worked another three weeks at their request. He’s incorporated his business, M & M Specialty Enterprises, and has begun coming out to family, friends, and clients. One client was upset and quit his business with Max. Max thought for sure that ten others would soon drop him. Three clients made it known his work for them was seen as superior and separate from his identity. They would remain clients for the present as it was to their benefit. Four were eager to see Marci come out and hoped Max/Marci could give them more attention and be incorporated as M & M Specialty Enterprises. Others hadn’t given any indication one way or another about staying. Hopefully, no news was good news. During the event he had six new inquiries serious about doing business with M&M. There were other follow-ups.
Marci’s Dad, Manfred was more matter-of-fact and wondered how he would promote his business. Marci already had six clients in addition to Bobbi’s. One is a small business and two good size cattle farms. Breeding cattle was into a whole new age; being able to document registrations, vaccinations, and records had become a big business. Manfred was old school but he’d been proud of his son, but is worried that Joanna has forced her ways onto him, worried he’s going to become absorbed and irresponsible when it comes to the business.
Marci believes most of Max’s good traits are in her. One thing missing from her outfit for tonight is a pair of leather ankle boots with a good heel.
Bobbi had a medium size trailer in which she changed; she pulled in Marci telling her she had to change out of her sports bra for dinner. This would regularly be a small thing to any woman in her late twenties but Marci was not your normal twenty-something. Manfred and Max were accustomed to him wearing baggy clothes; Marci’s identity was neatly wrapped out of sight. Bobbi's bra for Marci not only fitted well but also helped show off her feminine appearance. The strap ankle boots look sharp but Marci has only worn them once before.
Marci is pleased with how she looks and is looking forward to her mother seeing her. Bobbi’s presence goes a long way to helping Marci be comfortable. But stepping out of the trailer and going to dinner with both sets of folks is a big step. One she’d rather put off again but knows it to happen. She is pleased with how she looks as she passes a mirror.
Max is not gone, but Marci and Joanna agreed it would be Marci going to dinner. Joann throws her keys to Marci and they both climb into her F-250 with all the bells and whistles of the high end. Marci pressed the second seat setting and moved comfortably into position. There was no sign of the strapped ankle boots making any difference in driving. She did wet and pressed her lips as she looked at Bobbi and started to drive.
The restaurant is very nice, yet no place special. Manfred and Beth had gone ahead of the others and secured a table. With the rodeo and other weekend visitors it was busy. It was the second time Beth had seen Marci dressed up more than usual. Beth gave both Bobbi and Marci welcoming hugs. Marguerite hugged her daughter as did Bobbi’s Dad. He usually called her Johanna and apart from the initial hug, he was more formal with his daughter. There’s an air about Bobbi and her mother, Marci sensed something extra when she visited with either one. It was as though looking into the eyes of either she was looking into a mystical world. Nothing was said about it, but Marci knew they would be talking with her and taking her into their confidence, whatever that might mean.
Marguerite was warm and welcoming to Marci as the evening progressed. “You present yourself well, and I am impressed with your computer savvy and gift for business and being professional. But should I talk with you as my daughter or my son?”
Jerry and Aya Long and their children came on Saturday, the second day of the rodeo. Aya was on-call as a para-medic at the rodeo as well as representing the region’s search and rescue team. She left a short stack of her photos with a helicopter in the background, or her horse and a rescue pack. More than one person was impressed that a woman held her position.
With the first rodeo and a schedule full of other fairs; there came schedules of practices of Marci riding with Bobbi and a new format for M & M Enterprise's growing business. Joining Bobbi for show routines and riding demonstrations was new for Marci. Instead of competing, she partnered with Bobbi and became an instructor. Max now had two times as many girls open to his instructing them.
It was Brigid, a competing rider to Bobbi, who came to Marci for advice. It was not hard to figure out that the horse and rider were out of sync with one another, but Marci needed to help Brigid see it and love her horse for being her horse. With Bobbi’s blessing, she had taken Brigid and Blade to a nearby state park that allowed horseback riding. It wasn’t obvious but a scar that hadn’t quite healed on Blade’s upper right leg. Brigid winced when Marci asked about it. When she asked who hadn’t put the accident in the past, it became obvious neither had Brigid, but it was Brigid who needed to initiate deeper healing.
Brigid and Marci had gotten off of their horses and Marci showed Brigid on her horse that its strong will worked against what she was trying to do. The horse resisted high jumps, and if Brigid tried to force him a smaller jump he wouldn’t do it if he wasn’t willing. Marci sensed that Blade was tired of competing. Marci recommended that Blade become her pleasure riding horse. That the horse and rider become one again.
Brigid asked a question, she had been ridiculed when a vet saw her use a mud pack to massage the horse's leg. Marci could sense Brigid’s hurt in trying to help her horse. Marci recommended they get over that hurt and she regained her confidence with Blade. Brigid found mud from a stream and began massaging and talking with her horse. There is a time when a horse and rider need a vet or a trainer, but neither should come between the horse and the rider. It would take two weeks for Brigid and Blade to regain their relationship, and over a month later they were back at a championship level.
This began Max’s renewal of working with horses and riders. But, it was more of a hobby instead of an additional job.
Using the state of the art laser-guns Bobbi talked Marci into becoming Annie Oakley on the Northeast fair and rodeo circuit. It was going well when Aya’s cousin Roy stepped in to help the show. Strangely enough, Marci’s body is responding more and more to the men around her.
It was a month into doing their new routines, and Roy Johnson began coming onto Marci. She finds the attention to be flattering to her ego as Marci. Bobbi was sensitive in approaching Marci. “This wasn’t easy for me to say, and my Cousin might not like me after this. You are very vulnerable to new people finding you attractive. I am not saying I’m a better person, than Roy, but we two have a longer friendship and do business together. My cousin has a history of making conquests and you’d be a unique trophy to his collection.”
Marci stomped away, as was Max’s style when feelings were hurt, but it was also his nature to go off and think through what he resisted hearing. It took two days to bury himself in other work and think things through. It was the third day of putting off calls from Bobbi and Bobbi drove to my place during morning chore time.
He felt terrible that he had let her down and confessed his fear of losing her and other customers. No sooner were the words about business out of his mouth, when he understood he was hurt Bobbi again. “That sounded wrong. It was you more than your business I was afraid of losing.”
There was a glow from her eyes, she angrily said, “You are most fortunate that I can see your heart and mind!”
Just as quickly, Marci could tell Bobbi was even more upset with herself. I fell to her feet; I wasn’t sure what was happening, but he was awestruck. Max knew his imagination had wondered about her Mother being annoyed and if Bobbi was indeed a Frigg and Freyja in spirit. Was there, in fact, a combination of two spirits from Norwegian folklore was actually alive in her?
She kissed him and was coming on passionately to Max and his male presence was becoming stronger. She took him to a fresh mound of hay and apologized. “I pray that you won’t mind later for me seducing you?”
He had been in a pair of Marci’s jeans as he started his chores, but they were soon off and to the side. Bobbi was into her second orgasm when her passion began to diminish. “I’m sorry,” she said, taking refreshing breaths, “I hope I didn’t hurt you, you could have been killed.”
Somehow Max knew she wasn’t joking.
To be continued…
New Friendship, Struggles, Birth
Joanna Freyja was the formal name her mother and father preferred; she was not a mythical character, but she had mystical powers. Her mother Marguerite would soon be there and would not be calling her Bobbi or Roberta. Roberta (Bobbi) was a name she had chosen to distance herself from the recognition of her Norwegian heritage and folklore.
Joanna was across from Max; she shook as though she was scared for him. “Marci, I love you, but I don’t know if you can accept what I need to tell you?”
There was a knock at Joanna’s door; it was Marguerite Frigg Freyja, Joanna’s mother. She quickly asked her daughter, “Do you know if he/she can handle it?” She smiled, “I can feel how strongly you love her. I know Marci can handle what it might take, but she might not want to; it will be hard on her. Marci has dreamed she could be your spouse, but I will impregnate her with his sperm and your egg. Your daughter will have mystical powers which will strain Marci’s body near to death.”
Joanna said, “No, Mother you mustn’t!”
Marguerite said, “Your love for Marci is too strong, you couldn’t resist intimacy with her, over time it would lead to a child. She would be open to you; she loves you dearly and you have helped her to embrace herself. She felt your powers when you made love with her and sensed who you were. She will not fully understand for years from now. But she will feel the pain and trauma of carrying your baby and going through labor.”
With fear Bobbi asked, “But Mother can you assure me it will not kill her?”
“I could, but will not. It will test her body’s strength and her love for you and the woman she desires to be.” Her Mother asked Joanna to call Marci.
Joanna was shaken with a stirring of emotion and the powers within her when she came into the room. “Marci, I have put off telling you something. You felt part of it when we made love.”
“My Mother has arrived and will speak to you about us. You will understand a fraction of what she has to say. Please don't lightly agree.”
I say, “What we have is beautiful; you have helped me to realize more than I could have imagined.”
She dressed as Max thinking it proper and was more eager than afraid to be in her future Mother-in-Law’s presence and to hear what she had to say. Yet as Max entered the front room he felt the presence of something awesome.
Marguerite said, “I will address you as Marci. It is both as you dream and what will be required of your love with Joanna. You have correctly come to know she is Freyja in name and in spirit. I am glad she has met the one she has longed to be united with. You are and will remain fully human, but you will in time bear your daughter who will be her daughter with all the mystical powers of a Freyja. It will take all you have in bearing her. She will be born healthy.”
I am now speaking, “I can’t imagine what you are saying can be true, but I am willing and excited. My only request is that Joanna and our daughter would be good in using their powers.”
Marguerite said, “It will be so, though you might question as you do in the world if it is good.” Marguerite gave an earring to her daughter that she was to put on the upper ridge of my ear as a sign of our engagement.
We’re all soon in a normal conversation with only the simple understanding that we are engaged. Marci turns to Joanna, “You have made me the happiest person possible. Is it okay that I tell my parents and Aya?” Marci waits for Joanna’s agreement. “I need to find a suitable jewelry store to buy you and engagement ring.”
“If Jerry wouldn’t object to Aya helping you; you might ask her to go along and help you,” suggests Bobbi.
Marci asks, “Did you tell Aya that we were getting engaged?”
Bobbi says, “She knew I was moving in that direction, and that I was asking you Marci. It should make it easier for Jerry to accept that you are not a threat to him concerning where Aya is.”
Bobbi’s mother says, “It is Norwegian custom to have family and friends hold a large feast for you two to announce your coming marriage. Aya and Jerry are invited, as well as your family Marci. You might invite Joanna’s workers, some customers, and close friends.”
Marguerite says, “My understanding in this state you are free to marry as two women. Johann will not be happy about that, but when you provide a grandchild, he will be more understanding. If he is not, I will bring him to understand.”
Max soon begins living 24/7 as Marci, and Aya is more than happy to go with Marci to pick a ring for Joanna. Aya and I go to Newberry where there are some good jewelry stores to choose rings. Aya was able to convince me that the wedding ring for Joanna would be of much more importance to Joanna’s tradition. Marci and Aya hunted several stores until an 18k fairmined spiral wedding ring was chosen. It was from what they said an exceptional ring. Aya convinced me that Bobbi would be very happy with it.
Aya took me to dinner, where we were happily opening our lives to each other. Aya agrees to stand with me for my ceremony with Joanna. Jerry has even agreed for M & M Enterprises to keep records, books, and taxes for them.
I began to call Bobbi, Joanna more often, especially when Marguerite and Johann were there. The feast soon happens; family and our guests are happy with the gathering and our news.
Marguerite took me for three days where she took sperm from Max so she could impregnate numerous eggs from Joanna.
It was a hot day in the end of August when we were married. I have a white satin and lace suit and Joanna wears a full-length satin and lace wedding gown. It is a month later after a night of hot passionate sex Marguerite had her daughter plant an impregnated egg into me. Bobbi went out of her way to woo me and keep me relatively calm for three more days. I mention I am passionately warm and content. It was early November after mornings of being sick. That Doctor Jayne Cunning announces that I’m pregnant. She asked me, “Did you know that you have a womb? Have you ever bled before?”
I acknowledge I had discharges of blood every other month since the turn of the year. Dr. Jayne said, “The baby is unusually strong for this early in your pregnancy. I recommend walks and a good diet to keep your heart and you healthy. I suspect carrying such a healthy child may be taxing on you.” The morning sickness went well into the fifth month.
Max had eaten fish, but never as much as I as Marci am eating now. It is Bobbi’s passionate love that distracts me and helps me through the coming days, weeks, and months.
I’m becoming more domestic, I’m baking, when I’m not cooking meals. I’m cleaning around our house. It had been Joanna’s house, but as I cleaned around and established my office here. The house gradually becomes ours. I’ve moved my horses to Bobbi’s ranch in a new stable area attached to hers. My stable has a state-of-the-art office, and stables for Sally, her new foal, and Storm.
There came a time when Aya is on an extended search and rescue mission and Marci and Bobbi were taking care of Elena. Max is in radio contact with Aya when Aya’s search horse falls and hurts the two of them.
Supposedly, they were not far from a road, which gave me the thought I could help. They are some seventy miles away, but I know the country. Aya is near enough to the stranded person she is looking for that she’s unwilling to stop or turn around.
I have taken both horses, Sally and Storm, with me. It took three hours for me to travel and find Aya’s vehicle and trailer. I called back to Joanna to tell her the general area where I was. Joanna is against me taking risks as I’m in ny fourth month of pregnancy.
Once I’m determined I will venture out; Joanna tells me, “If you see a golden glow that is the way you are to go. It doesn’t mean it is safe, you need to use all your winter country life skills.”
There are two times I’m not sure the direction to go, but a golden beam shows up once and a golden glow precedes my making vocal contact with Aya. Once together we find her lost camper at a deserted shelter. Aya can give coordinates to others in the search. We were able to bind Aya’s horse’s hurt leg. But I needed to go back, get Sally my other horse, and supplies, and return. On my way back I felt a warmth in my body that energized me. I knew I was burning extra calories but I felt safe. The trips back to the truck and trailer and then back to the shelter were shorter as I knew the way. By the time I was back to Aya and Jason the lost person; rescue snowmobiles came from another direction. They were able to take Jason out with them; along with his equipment. Aya would ride Sally with a lead to pull her horse. I was leading with Storm. I was getting chilled and tired as we found our way back up to the road and to the trucks and horse trailers.
Back forty miles there’s a café-lodge where we stopped. Aya had asked, “Marci, how in the world did you find us?” She was skeptical of the story I told; until she called Bobbi and received information that supported what I had said.
I am exhausted, and because of the child I’m carrying, I decided to stay overnight at the lodge. Aya wouldn’t leave me so we stayed and shared the same room. I and Aya, became united as sisters that night. We did not sleep in the same bed or get intimate. Aya talked to the child in my womb, “Dearest little one; you are richly blessed. I know both your mothers, they will love you and raise you to be strong in mind and spirit.” I and Aya became sisters, friends, with a new love as sisters.
Aya told me how she talked to her children when they were still in the womb. She insisted Jerry do the same. After the babies were born; it seemed to her that the babies recognized Jerry’s voice as well as hers. She had many photos of her children that she shared with me. She showed one of Elena, “I remember on her second birth that I looked at her in the picture and cried that I would never be able to introduce her to you. Her spirit reminded me strongly of you.”
I said, “If I did a small part in saving you tonight, it will be a joyous blessing I hold dear.”
Aya called to her husband who was elated to hear her voice and know she was safe.
I called Bobbi to let her know that Aya, the baby, and I were safe. Bobbi told me, “Find a place to stay over, and do not come back tonight.” We talked and Bobbi heard that I was able to see her mother’s guidance. “I am glad you have the sense to stay there tonight.”
Bobbi wanted to talk to Aya to make certain, I and the baby were fine.
We returned to Bobbi’s ranch late the next morning, where Aya stayed long enough to see Bobbi cuddle and whisk me away into the house. Bobbi was out soon enough to have one of her workers follow Aya to make sure she got home safely. That night was the first night that I felt my baby move inside of me.
I kissed my wedding ring and was assured our marriage was consummated.
The coming days, brought word that Jerry Long acknowledged that he was indebted to me for saving his wife. Marci/Max were now welcomed guests to their home. Elena had bonded with Marci and Bobbi and is calling us aunts. Her brother Connor is soon doing the same. Soon, a sawdust trail joined the two roads separating our families.
Scott, Max’s neighbor, works for me in the business as well as on Max’s acreage. Well into the rodeo season; Scott helps me to staff M & M Enterprises at various fair sights and to meet customers. I’m doing most of the work as it is easier for me to explain my business relating to new and present customers.
M & M Enterprises during the past year has become a solid and growing business. I have recently been training Aya in the business. It will give me a backup for when the baby comes. And Aya's income as she ponders Search and Rescue as a career. Joanna has been informing me and Aya that my birthing the baby is likely to be stressful, if not problematic.
Marguerite Freyja, and Beth Schneider, my Mom, are now very alert and caring of me and my unborn child. The estrogen-driven women surrounding me are both helpful and overwhelming. There is a barrage of names for the baby being tossed about, but by the last few weeks, Joanna and I have already chosen Ebbe Joanna if the baby looks more like Joanna, and Ebbe Marcella if she looks more like me. The kicks and movement of little Ebbe have tossed me out of bed or off my feet twice.
Dr. Jayne Cunning has delivery privileges at the Orange County Medical Center; where I now go weekly to appointments. The idea of me laying back and spreading my legs is comical to me. I had long imagined Max being there for my spouse. That he/she is the one who has a vagina feeling the weight of a child is both beautiful and scary.
It is the evening of the 5th of July that labor pains get so hard that it sends a false alarm that causes us to get to the hospital. My blood pressure is high, my heart rate flocculates and I am kept at the hospital. I’m told by Dr. Cunning, “I fear for the well-being of your baby and your life Marci. If we get to the point where either is in danger, I will deliver the baby caesarian.”
It’s four in the morning after a calm hour that things take a critical and hurried turn and the birth is imminent; a golden haze that only I can see comes over me. I am listening to Dr. Jayne and talking to my baby or Bobbi. I scream, “Ebbe I love you!” The ‘you’ is a wholehearted scream to itself. I am exhausted as I hear my baby cry. Feelings of love and joy wash over her with a new alertness that belies, my exhaustion.
They took Ebbe away to be clean and swaddled in her first dippy; I closed my eyes to open them to Bobbi saying, “Ebbe Marcella has both of us in her.” The two grandmothers agreed Ebbe had a stronger likeness to me. Dr. Jayne comes in to tell the grandmothers they can’t all be in here at the same time. “Marci had a stressful two weeks; followed by a stressful delivery. We will be watching her as closely as their daughter Ebbe…” “We lost her vital signs for a moment, but something pulled her back to this side.”
Joanna and I look to Marguerite, who says, “She’s a strong Mama, what more needs to be said.”
To be continued…
Excitement of being a Woman
Nurse Madison brought Ebbie in from the nursery for her next feeding, Joanna lifted the baby and gave it to Marci. Madison said to Marci, “Let her drink from one breast,” she paused, “In a few minutes let her nurse from the other; it is important that she gets the colostrum. We call it liquid gold because of the nutrients and antibodies it provides.”
Marci gently but firmly held Ebbie, “I can’t believe my womb went undetected all this time.” When the nurse unlatched Ebbie from the first breast, Ebba began to cry out loud. That was followed by a soft cooing sound. Ebbie found the left nipple and began drinking again. Nurse Madison said, “It looks like mother and baby get along well.” Madison said tomorrow or the next day and your milk will be fully coming in.”
Marci said, “You mean my breasts are going to get even bigger? How will she be able to suckle the nipple will have trouble fitting in her cute little mouth?”
Marguerite said, “The time will soon be here when the baby clamping down on your tit will cause you pain and your eyes to water.”
Marci’s Mom said, “Let her have these idyllic times. Marci needs to develop a strong bond with Ebbie. She didn’t grow up with dreams of having her baby and nursing her. Max was sensitive for a boy; he wasn’t interested in playing with his sister Catherine or her dolls. Even when he was out of school and he went to wearing tube tops to keep his male breasts from showing; I never heard him considering they were his breasts.”
Joanna asked, “Marci was that true? I’m sure when they became sensitive and aroused, you must have thought something.”
Marci didn’t want to talk about it. “That was all in the past; it was and is personal.”
Joanna slid sitting next to Marci, and asked, “I’d like to ask everyone to go; Marci needs her time and some rest.” Once the room was empty, it was time for Marci to get up and walk around. She would have liked to walk the hall, but she walked into the room and sat. Joanna walked with Ebbe and sang her a song. Marci and Joanna sang together and were amused with Ebbie moving her eyes toward one mother and the other.
The two women talked, and Marci mentioned her breasts, “Can you believe it; my breasts are as large as my sister’s? The nurse said my breast milk won’t be fully in until tomorrow or the next day. I thought with the birth of Ebbie my baby bump would fully be gone.”
Joanna giggled, “You knew better than that.” Looking at Marci and seeing her puzzled face, she asked again, “Didn’t you?”
Marci began to tear, pools of water in her eyes, “My momma never asked if they were sensitive; if I ever felt even a little like a girl.” She paused and looked at Bobbi, “Yes, I read the book about my breast milk taking a day or two, but they are already bigger. I thought my milk came earlier than usual; the book said that also can happen. I’m embarrassed I feel so naïve.” The tears began to flow; Joanna sat next to her and hugged her.
“You are a great Mommy, and I couldn’t be any prouder or more in love with you than I am now. I should have read more with you. We should have talked more. I’m sorry I presumed too much too early.” She asked, “How can I make it up to you.”
Joanna giggled, “I thought it was so cute, you changing Ebbie’s diapers. I was envious of you.”
Marci giggled, “Someone said she’s going to become a pooping and wetting machine. But she’s a beautiful angel; she’s our first little angel.”
Bobbie said, “I am so glad we decided names before everyone gave their opinions. There is only one Ebbie that I know and she is precious. How do you like raising a little Freyja?”
Marci pondered the thought, then asked, “At what age will she begin to have the powers of a goddess?”
Bobbi said, “I was nine when I made the water in my little pool cause to form a wave and spill over. I didn’t know it was me who did it until I spun my fingers and formed a water spout. I’m told it was usually when a girl was twelve ready to become a young teen… I have a thirty-six-year-old cousin Jora Freyja in Norway who has the powers of the goddess. Once she was in the States and I knew it our minds linked. Like me, she’s strong-willed. She has not been blessed like me to find someone who wasn't turned off by her gifts and strength.”
Marci laughed, “You aroused me; helped me to feel alive and accepting of myself. Yes, you overwhelmed me, but I was excited by that. I could see a young man falling in love with a woman like that. I saw myself as a man. It is my seed that fertilized your embryos. I changed the more I desired you and to be the woman whose breasts we desired when we made love. Besides, I look more like a woman horse rider.”
There was a knock on the door and the voice asking to come in was Christine; Marci’s sister. She cracked open the door and said, “Hi, Marci, you look beautiful for giving birth yesterday. I am here to give the three of you a ride home.” The parents had left; Johann had taken Joanna’s F-250. The two Moms were to be over bright and early in the morning.
A nurse had brought Ebbie in for Marci to nurse. Christine was wide-eyed as little Ebbie suckled her sister’s breast. Christine said, “I hear Mom won’t admit to your breast exciting you.” Chris turned to Joanna, “I am the one who introduced Max to tube tops to be worn under sweatshirts and sweaters… I laughed when Max told me of you pushing next to the stable. That had to be freeing for someone not to be turned off by his being transgendered.”
Christine took Ebbie to be burped as Marci was ready to switch breasts. Marci finds Christine a breath of fresh air in comparison to his mother. She is more likely to take Christy’s advice and enjoy talking more with her.
Marci is sitting in the back seat with Ebbie safely nestled in the car seat for her newborn. The nurse had checked the seat and made sure it was fashioned properly. Marci regretted she did not get to hold Ebbie in the SUV. Joanna and Christine wanted the seat turned around so they could see Ebbie. Being home with Ebbie was a cause for great delight. Grandma’s Beth and Marguerite had cleaned the house and made it a joy to come home to.
The food was welcomed after hospital food, and as Joanna said, “We didn’t have to cook it, and hopefully not clean up after.” It was even welcomed that the grandmothers would each have one turn at changing Ebbie’s diapers. Grandfather Manfred had handmade a cradle that would serve well in the room with Marci and Bobbi tonight. I was carrying Ebbie wrapped in a blanket. There was a small mattress that fitted the cradle snuggly. I put Ebbie in it and rubbed my hands over the beautiful cradle. I could see his stained hands as they polished the wood. I could see the grain of the wood; seeing Ebbie lying there, tears came to my eyes. I felt Joanna’s hands on my shoulders and arms. Ebbie looked at us and smiled. Supposedly, it was too early for her to recognize us, but her smile touched us deeply. Joanna hugged me, “She loves her Mommy.”
I whispered, “I’m the one who carried and birthed her, but she is from you. When did those toes and fingers take shape? I saw your baby photos and the shape of her lips are from you.”
Joanna watched Ebbie's face turn red which meant she was pooping. She laid out a changing mat and began changing her. It was then a little fountain of pee leaked out of her and ruined a new diaper. Her bottom needed to be cleaned and wrapped with a new diaper.
I said, “You know a year and a half ago none of this would have excited me like it does now.”
We had changed for bed, and usually would watch a program, or listen to music; tonight we laid the wrong way in bed, I cuddled in Joanna’s arms, both watching Ebbie sleep. Joanna got our pillows and at 2:00 in the morning I woke with a comforter over me and Joanna cradling the baby to my right breast.
I sat up fed our little girl and walked her until she burped. I had more milk than Ebbie was hungry for. I pumped both breasts, getting a small bottle from each. I was in the living room leaning back against my mother. It was another precious moment captured only in my mind.
Someone had walked up on our porch and stood there; deciding if they should knock. They had seen the lights in the house. I got up and as I walked to the door, I recognized the silhouette of Aya. I asked, “Aya are you all right?”
She said, “I was returning from a rescue and I saw your lights on.”
I said, “Come on in. We’ll put on a pot of coffee and I’ll cradle the baby so you can enjoy seeing her.”
Aya came into the house but said she couldn’t stay. My Mom and I both saw that Aya was too tired to be going anywhere. My Mom made up the sofa bed, and I got a night shirt and panties got Aya to change into after she showered. She argued with us every step of the way until my Mom said, “You never expected to change into Max’s nightshirt and sleepover.”
Ebbie must have known that Aya wanted to see me nursing my baby. The picture she took with her fancy iPhone was one of the best pictures of me nursing Ebbie. Marci smiled, “I thought it would have been me watching you, but I saw this in a dream when I was thirteen.”
“That is impossible,” said Aya.
Marci said, “No, it was your birthday and a snowstorm forced me to sleep at your house. Your mother woke me up because I was crying and said it can’t be, it can’t be!”
Aya said, “My mother told me about that after you finally went home.”
It was months later, Marci was watching Aya’s Elena and Connor while Aya was making a presentation about rescues in the Finger Lakes region. Connor now five was running a fever over 103 F. Marci cried out for Joanna, but she couldn’t hear her. Ebbie started to cry and Joanna could hear that and came to the house.
Joanna said, “I know how to give ice baths, but there is something different we would need to do for such a young boy. Let’s get him to the County Hospital.” Joanna was ready to leave with the boy, but Marci felt Elena's head and she too was now running a fever.
Joanna insisted all three children go and get checked out; Marci sat in the third row of their SUV with Ebbie in her infant seat. Marci had cool damp clothes for the three girls, while Joanna was driving and had a wet cloth for Connor.
Marci had called ahead, and Dr. Jayne Cunning O.B. had the staff and lab ready to process the children. Aya was contacted in Geneva, New York, and flew back via a helicopter. Elena and Connor had a dust parasitic infection. Their bodies needed to be cooled down to combat their fevers. Dr. Jayne gave them antibiotic injections as informed by the National Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, GA.
It was not determined if the infection came from the Freyja or Long home. But both homes took the needed precautions at their homes.
By the time the children were admitted overnight Jerry and Aya were both there. Jerry admitted that he would have been overwhelmed if it happened while alone.
Marci talked to Bobbi about her coming to the house; “I was afraid you didn’t hear me yell for you?”
Bobbi said, “Somehow, I knew Ebbie was upset and crying. That caused me to come to find out what was happening.”
Marci hugged Bobbi, and Aya hugged both of them. Marci said, “I was afraid that being a woman and a Mom would be boring. I guess it doesn’t make the most exciting story.”
Aya said, “You were afraid coming out, and people wouldn’t like or love you. I so wished you had come and been part of my wedding. I wanted you to be a bridesmaid. I could have loved seeing your ladies in a bra and you in a dress. Jerry would have accepted anything for me at that time.”
Joanna, the baby, and Marci stayed in a motel that night. They were happier learning that Connor and Elena had a good night at the hospital. The three went home that morning. Aya, Jerry, and their children were home by late afternoon.
The End...
If some have a story they wished I continued, please leave a comment.