Chapter 2

Dr. Maggie dialed through to the Bond home, and waited. After a few rings, Jenny picked up the phone. “Hello, Bond residence.”

“Mrs. Bond?” asked the doctor.

“Yes, may I ask who is calling, please?”

“This is Dr. Maggie McArthur, I'm here with Juliette and we are calling about Drew. Is Mr. Bond there as well?”

“No he's not!” snapped Jenny anxiously “What's the matter with Drew?!”

“Well, I am afraid he's had a mental collapse and right now I have him here in the hospital under sedation. For reasons I have yet to find out, he has been pretending to be a girl named Gaby the whole time he has been here, with the complicity of the chaperones I might add, and it appears that the strain of being Gaby the whole time has been too much for him. Coupled with his worry about you and being away from you at this time he has pretty much shut right down for the moment. Juliette has told me that he was occasionally Gaby at home, usually at the manipulation or coercion of others, herself included, but has never gone this long as Gaby ever. I wanted to discuss short term and long term treatment options with you, Mr. Bond, and Juliette, so that I can make a competent referral to someone in the UK when he gets home”

“Oh my God “cried Jenny, “what have we all done to him! Was he talking at all when he was brought in? Will he recover? How long before you know anything?”

“Mrs. Bond!” Dr. Maggie cut her off sharply, “right now he is under sedation and will be asleep for 12 to 14 hours; as for his recovery that is up to him and all of you – that is why I wanted a family conference. And it's why I also need to know the WHOLE story.”

“Mum” sobbed Jules, “when I found him, he was just saying over and over ‘who is Drew? Who is Gaby? Who am I?' and rocking back and forth. I've never seen him like this before and I'm scared mum.”

“Hang on Jules, we'll be there as soon as we can. Dr., can you keep him under for a few extra hours until we can get a flight and get there? I will get hold of my husband and we will make travel arrangements as soon as we can and will advise you and Jules when we will get there.”

“Well, Mrs. Bond” started Dr. Maggie.

“Jenny, please Dr.” interjected Jenny.

“Well then, Jenny, when he wakes up I will assess him again then, but I can assure you he will not be released from this hospital until you get here. I have a couple of concerns however.”

“And what are those?” asked Jenny.

“Well, it would help if you can bring all of Drew's medical records with you, so we can do a complete physical assessment as well; and I am concerned that if you have had surgery so recently that you may not physically be able to travel yourself yet. Not that I think I could stop you from swimming the Atlantic to get to Drew, but it does concern me”

“Well” laughed Jenny “It's true that I would walk through the fires to get to my kids, but it happens I have been cleared for travel as of 2 days ago. As for Drew's medical records, as soon as I talk to Dave to get the arrangements underway, I will phone his doctor and get them to fax everything to you directly. As Drew has seen a couple of specialists in the last year, you may get information from a few sources.

Jules?” said Jenny “I will phone you on the mobile once I know when we are leaving, and you can let Dr. Maggie know. Now, if she tells you to go home and sleep for a while, you go back to the Walters' and do that. You don't need to be ill from worry, and we'll be there soon.”

“But mum, I don't want Drew to wake up alone. The doctor can put a bed in there for me to sleep on or something. I'm not leaving” Jules stated.

“All right Jules, you work that out with the doctor” said Jenny.

At this point Jenny began to describe how Drew became Gaby to start with, and the times that Jenny knew about Gaby appearing and why. Jules also contributed what she knew firsthand, and also added that the one pushing Drew the most to be Gaby was his girlfriend Maddy. And that Drew was so eager to please everyone, he allowed himself to be talked into cheer squad; and when they arrived and upon finding out that Brit and Deb's olds didn't know Drew was a boy, allowed himself to get talked into that too.

“But” Jules said “What I couldn't completely figure out was why Drew had so many of his Gaby clothes with him, until I realized it was Maddy who did most of his packing.”

“Well” said Dr. Maggie “that gives me something to work with until I can talk to the others, and until you get here Jenny. I will ask you both to not mention to anyone that you are coming. I want to see what the others will tell me if they don't believe you are coming”

“Thank you Dr. Maggie, we will see you as soon as possible, and Jules will let you know what the plans are as soon as possible. Goodbye for now” said Jenny, and with that she hung up the phone.

As soon as she had hung up the phone from Dr. Maggie, Jenny immediately dialed her husband. As soon as Dave picked up the phone, Jenny said “Dave, something's happened to Drew, get home right away – we've got to get to him. You know we were due to go over with the team for the promo tour at the end of the week – I'll ring George right away and see if he can get us out on a plane today.”

“Jenny, slow down!” exclaimed Dave “And tell me what's happened.”

As Jenny then went over her conversation with Jules and Dr. Maggie, Dave became angrier and angrier. “The chaperones knew?!!” he shouted. “I'll be having a chat with Mr. Wood on the way home to find out what that's all about. And it may end up with a chat with our solicitors if I don't like what I find out! Let me talk to Frank, and I'll be home as soon as I can. Call me after you've talked to George.”

“Alright” answered Jenny “but calm down before you start to drive, I want you here in one piece.”

“Right luv, see you soon.” Replied Dave and he hung up the phone.

Dave went and told Frank there was a medical emergency with Drew in America, and that he had to go and wasn't sure how soon he could be back. Then he headed for the car park so he could get home as soon as possible. He remembered what Jenny had said about calming down, and thought “well, I had best have my conversation with Mr. Wood before I get on the road”. With that, he dialed the school, and asked for the Headmaster.

“Michael Wood here, how can I help you Dave?”

“Well, let's make a list shall we?” Dave answered sarcastically. “Let's start with why my SON is pretending to be a girl in America, with the full knowledge of the chaperones, and obviously yourself. Then, let's ask why he is in hospital, sedated after having what appears to be a nervous breakdown, after having to be ‘Gaby' for so long. And how about telling me why no one saw fit to inform Jenny or myself. Let's start with those. And, oh yes, tell me why I shouldn't phone my solicitor and start legal proceedings against the school, you, Miss Cowlishaw and Mr. Pilling; and why I shouldn't phone the Ministry of Education and have the lot of you sacked and your bloody school shut down! Because right now, that is exactly what I feel like doing, and may yet do.”

Mr. Wood was stunned – he didn't know what to say. “Mr. Bond – Dave – I am not sure what to tell you. We needed Drew on the Cheer Team, but we offered him the choice….and he didn't have to be Gaby all of the time.”

“Bollocks!” snarled Dave “You bloody well made the choice such that you knew he wouldn't refuse you, didn't you? And ‘needed’ him for the Cheer Team? If you were thinking about him, you'd have gotten someone else, or withdrawn the team from competition when he didn't want to do it. And how would you have explained to everyone in America that Gaby was only there for the cheer competitions and disappeared the rest of the time. You knew damn well he would end up having to be Gaby the whole time! Of all the self aggrandizing, self rationalizing answers…I hope you're bloody happy now! My son is now catatonic in a hospital thanks to everyone that put him through this. I suggest you contact the Ministry and the school's solicitors, because you are going to need them” and he hung up the phone.

Mr. Wood sat at his desk and contemplated everything Dave had just said to him. And he began reviewing the ‘Gaby incidents' in his mind. Unfortunately for himself and the school, Dave Bond was right. They had talked Drew round into being Gaby and worded everything such that they knew Drew wouldn't refuse. The modeling, Sports Day and the badminton, Cheer Squad, and this trip to America. His mind reeled – they could be held financially liable, certainly be sacked, and perhaps even criminally liable for endangering the health and well being of a minor. He needed time to think.

After calming down somewhat, Dave headed home as quickly as he could. When he got there, Jenny was waiting outside with packed suitcases. As he got out of the car, she said to him “Load these in right away Dave, I've packed for you. There's an American Airlines flight leaving Manchester at 11:55am. I know it's an hour from here, but we should be able to make it in time to clear security and board. We have 3 tickets on it.”

Dave begins loading the luggage, and realizes what she said. “Three? Who else is going?”

“I phoned Carol and convinced her to come as well, because of Maddy's involvement and because of how she feels about Drew. This could tip her over the edge, and we don't need another breakdown.” replied Jenny.

“Right, we'd best get a wiggle on then.”

After picking up Carol, they headed for Manchester at the best speed possible. Not much was said in the car, which was likely just as well, because Dave began to think about Maddy's involvement, and thought it best to keep quiet. Carol and Jenny were deep in their own thoughts, about their children, and the future. Jenny wondering if Drew would be alright, and whether he would trust any of them again; Carol wondering what part Maddy played in all of this, and how she would react to Drew being hospitalized; and what part she herself played in encouraging ‘Gaby'….like on Halloween when she essentially guilted Drew into becoming Gaby because Maddy was having a tantrum - the poor lad had tried to be himself, and she didn't let him.

They reached the car park at Manchester airport at 10:12am….Dave was very happy that they hadn't seen any ‘blue lights' along the way….he'd have been for it if they had. Jenny and Carol were started out of their reverie when he parked the car.

Jenny looked at the time - “Dave, exactly how bloody fast were you going? On second thought, don't answer that; but thank you for getting us her so fast luv.”

They quickly got their luggage and headed for the departures terminal, where they checked in and were told to go through security immediately and head for their departure gate. When they got to their gate, Jenny took out her mobile and dialed Drew's number.

After 2 rings, Jules picked up. “Hello, mum?”

“Yes, Jules it's me. We are catching the 11:55am flight out of Manchester and will arrive in Washington, D.C. just after 5pm Washington time. And Aunt Carol is coming too, but don't tell Maddy right now. Can you tell Dr. Maggie, and see if she can arrange to have someone come and pick us up?”

“Yes mum, I'll tell her right away, and we'll make sure we're there to get you. Dr. Maggie said she could make Drew sleep for a while longer if she needed to so you could be here when he woke up.”

“Right then Jules….we love you and we'll be there soon. They're calling for boarding now, so I have to go.”

“Love you mum, bye” said Jules and she broke the connection. Jules looked up at Dr. Maggie and told her of the conversation.

“Right, I'll organize a driver Jules to pick up your parents and aunt. You should go as well. I'll get Drew moved to a private room for now, and out of emergency. You have a nap on my couch, and as soon as I get him moved I'll come and get you. Then I will start talking to everyone that is out in the waiting room.”

Chapter 3

Mrs. W had headed back out to the waiting room, and she was not a happy woman. Her daughters, with the apparent complicity of a lot of people including Drew's chaperones, had deliberately hid the fact that Drew was a boy. And now, because of it, Drew was in a hospital bed, virtually catatonic. She was absolutely incensed that the chaperones would go along with this charade, and put a child in harms’ way for their own personal agendas. As for her daughters, well, they would be lucky if she didn't ship them off to private school for now and VMI (Virginia Military Institute) when they were old enough. They were certainly going to be grounded and broke for the foreseeable future.

As she rounded the corner back in to the waiting area she noticed that Miss Bell and the chaperones were not there yet, so she thought this would be a good time to have a family discussion first. Donald and the girls were sitting quietly in a corner, waiting for her to come back. Brit noticed her first.
“Mum, mum is Gaby alright?!!” Brit asked.

“No Brit, ‘Drew' is not alright. And do you have anything to tell me?” came the ominous reply from her mother.

Brit and Deb knew, right then, that their mother knew exactly who Drew was and what had happened.
“We can explain mum…”started Deb.

“Explain?!!” interrupted Mrs. W. “Explain what? Like why you never told us Drew was a boy? Like how you asked Drew to become Gaby so we wouldn't find out? Like why you thought it was all right to make someone pretend to be someone they are not, 24 hours a day 7 days a week, until they snap from the pressure? Like how putting Drew in the hospital with a complete mental collapse is a good thing? Yes, please try and make me understand all these things before your father and I send the pair of you to military school! Because, young ladies, right now, that's where I feel you should be going. Obviously your father and I can't seem to get through to you, maybe they can.”

Mr. W was visibly taken aback by his wife's outburst; but then what she was saying began to filter in and he began getting angry.

“A boy!” he thundered “The pair of you made Drew, a boy, be Gaby while he was here?!!! What in the name of heaven were you thinking? Never mind, it is obvious that you weren't thinking. Jocelyn, how is Drew doing?” he asked, turning to his wife.

“Well, Dr. Maggie was sedating him the last I saw, and she and Jules were going to her office to call Drew's parents in England. After which, she quite bluntly told me, she wants to talk to each and every person who had something to do with this deception and Drew's subsequent breakdown. That means our two, the chaperones, Miss Bell and Madeline Peters for certain….who else we'll have to wait and see.”

Deb and Brit were quietly crying on each other’s shoulders now, they were scared to death.
“But mum” Brit wailed “we didn't mean for anything to happen. We thought it would be like when we were in England; we put him positions where he had to be Gaby, and he just went along with it. We were just having fun…..”

Brit then realized what she had just admitted to and sat down in her chair with an audible thump. She was in for it now. She had just admitted to her parents that she had pulled this same kind of prank in England. They were going to blame her for everything.

“Besides, Drew had dressed up before as Gaby, mum….before we ever got there.”

“Britney Walters, you did this to him BEFORE?! Young lady, you and your sister will be explaining every single action to Dr. Maggie, and if you leave anything out, or lie about anything, you will regret it! Even if Drew did it before, and even though he looks very good as a girl…..that is not the point. You, your sister, the chaperones and I suspect Maddy Peters have taken away his right to choose and be Drew, in whatever form that may take. I've half a mind to do the same thing to you two. Maybe we should cut your hair and make the pair of you go to school as boys, do sports as boys, and everything else as boys for the next 6 weeks – maybe then you might understand what you have put poor Drew through! In fact I think that may be quite appropriate. I will discuss this with your father and the school later.”

Britney and Deb were now literally quaking with fear. They knew that they had finally pushed their mother too far. They both sat there sobbing quietly, eyes on the floor, not daring to look up at their mother.

“We didn't mean to hurt him” they whimpered.

Mrs. W looked over as she heard the doors to the emergency open. Racing through the door came Maddy, followed by Miss Bell, Miss Cowlishaw and Mr. Pilling. Maddy saw the Walters', changed directions and came running over to them.

“Where's Drew? What's wrong with her? Where do I find her?” Maddy cried as she got to them.
“Maddy, go and sit with Brit and Deb, and I will explain what we know in a minute” directed Mrs. W. “Ah, Jessica, Miss Cowlishaw and Mr. Pilling; the other three villains of this piece. Please come and sit down and I will explain what the lot of you have achieved.”

Miss Bell looked askance at Mrs. W “What do you mean villains, Jocelyn?”

"Well, Jessica, you know that Drew is a boy, don't you?”

“Yes, Jocelyn, what does that have to do with this?”

“Everything…..The chaperones, and I use that term loosely, Maddy and my girls seem to have decided that Drew shouldn't be a boy, that he should be Gaby all the time. And since they arrived Drew has had to become Gaby 24 hours a day 7 days a week. What do you think would happen to a pubescent male when people have systematically stripped his masculinity away from him. He has had a nervous breakdown and is under sedation right now. Dr. Maggie and Jules are attempting to contact his parents right now. Dr. Maggie wants to interview every person who had something to do with this so that she can define an adequate treatment here, and arrange for long term treatment when Drew gets home. So you may as well all pull up chairs and sit down, because we are going to be here quite a while. And maybe all of you should think about what you've done to Drew and why. Because if I were him, I sure as hell would want to know why.”

The news that Drew had had a nervous breakdown and was under sedation hit the four newest arrivals hard. Miss C and Mr. P turned ashen and looked very ill, Jessica looked very confused, as if she didn't quite get what was going on; and Maddy began to cry – heart wrenching sobs began to be heard. It was like her world had ended. And in some ways perhaps it had. Perhaps Drew would never be Gaby again. Perhaps he would hate her for what she had done. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps…….all these thoughts and more started to rush through Maddy's mind.

Guilt began to rear its head in Maddy's thoughts. What had she done? She had taken her best friend, her boyfriend, and turned him into what she thought wanted. She hadn't stopped to think of what Drew wanted. She hadn't stopped to think of what might happen to Drew – she had only cared that she got what she wanted. But Drew was just so amazing as Gaby! Gaby was everything Maddy wanted – the melding of both worlds. But now, thanks mostly to her, Drew was lying in a hospital bed, sedated because he could no longer take the strain.

Had she really done what Mrs. W was accusing them of? Had she systematically stripped away Drew's masculinity? She then thought of the number of times that Drew had said he wasn't doing it anymore, and she had talked him round to it. Obicon, when all he had asked for was one male costume, and she had gone and made sure all of the costumes were girls or men who have to dress as girls. The number of times she had packed his after kit for races with Gaby clothes, or none at all, so he would have to borrow from her. Sports Day. Halloween, when she had a fit when he came dressed as Dracula, and got her mum to talk him into changing. Cheer Squad. And then of course, the ever missing adhesive remover. How many times had she spirited it out of Drew's bag so it would be missing when he got home; and then would have to stay as Gaby for an extra day. And Maddy did not really want to confess that the bottle hadn't accidentally broken when Drew had gone to Paris – she had emptied it and told him it had broken. She had essentially forced him to go abroad as Gaby And the fun she and Brit and Deb had had when they were in England – pushing Drew to be Gaby so often; and then on the trip here – Drew had no idea that Maddy had packed so many of his Gaby clothes. She thought it would be brill to have her Gaby all the time. And Brit and Deb were happy to go along with it. But what she was beginning to realize, was that it could, and had, hurt Drew. And hurt him in a way that she was not sure he would forgive her for.

Right now Maddy just wished she could run away and hide. But Mrs. W had said they were all going to have to talk to Drewbie's doctor so she could figure out how to treat him. And she knew she would have to be totally honest with the doctor, or it could hurt Drew more. What was she going to do?
Just then, Maddy's guilt ridden thoughts were interrupted by the appearance of a doctor. Before she could ask anything, the doctor spoke.

“Good morning everyone, I'm Dr. Maggie. I'm sure that by now, Jocelyn has informed you what has happened to Drew. At present, he is under sedation and being moved to his own room. He will not be allowed ANY visitors for now, until I have had a chance to assess him and confer with his parents. I understand Drew has been ‘portraying' Gaby since he arrived here, and it seems this is the likely cause of his present state. I will need to speak to each one of you individually over the next several hours and I want; no make that I need, to get the entire story from every person here. Drew's health depends on everyone here being 100 percent truthful with me. Britney, I'll speak to you first, since I understand you had a lot to do with ‘Gaby's' stay here in Grottoes.”

And with that she turned to head back to her office with Brit in tow.

Chapter 4

Dr. Maggie sat at her desk massaging her temples. It had been a very long day, but at least she was coming up on the last of the interviews of those that were here in Grottoes. She had saved Maddy's interview until last. It had become apparent through all of the other interviews that everyone had their own agenda for making Drew over into Gaby, and all of them in her mind were simply a load of meadow muffins. And in her discussion with Jocelyn, the suggestion of those involved being made to do the same thing as a punishment had come up. Maggie was of two minds about that. While it would be an appropriate punishment, at least certainly in the case of Brit and Deb, she was not confident that it could be done without incurring psychological damage in those being punished.

And those chaperones and teachers. She was stunned that they not only went along with it, but encouraged it for their own personal agendas. They knew that Drew wouldn't turn down an authority figure, but they went ahead and manipulated him anyway. She was contemplating sending a report to the English authorities, but would wait on that until she'd talked to Drew's parents.

The other children involved all seemed to take their lead from Maddy in a lot of this. This was one of the reasons Maggie had left her interview until last. That, and the fact that her mother would soon be arriving with the Bonds, she wanted to have the support there for Maddy. This was likely to be a long session. Before she talked with Maddy though, Dr. Maggie wanted to consult with another doctor she knew, a psychiatrist she had known when she was in med school at Georgetown. Dr. Karen Page had chaired a symposium on gender issues at the medical conference Maggie had been at last year, and given what she had seen of Drew; and given what everyone else had told her, she was out of her depth and wanted some expert advice.

Well, before she phoned Karen, Dr. Maggie started to run through the information sent by Drew's doctors in England. Testosterone levels near zero? Iron deficiency? And she herself had noted the formation of secondary female sexual characteristics. Oh my, there was much more here than meets the eye. “Yes,” she thought, “I definitely need to talk to Karen. I think while Drew is sedated, I will order up some more blood work and an MRI. And I think I'll ask Karen if she'll sit in on my session with Maddy. It will take her an hour or two to get here, so I'll tell them all to get some lunch and then return at 4 pm.” With that thought she went out to the waiting room and the assembled group.

As Dr. Maggie rounded the corner, Maddy looked up at her with some trepidation. “Well, time to come clean and tell her everything I guess” she thought. She stood up and started to head over to the doctor.
“Maddy, I do need to speak with you yet today, but I need to check on Drew and order a few more tests. Could all of you go for lunch and someone bring Maddy back at 4 o'clock? That will give me time to check on Drew and get the tests underway.”

Mrs. W answered in the affirmative, and that they would all be back at 4. She understood that Dr. Maggie only needed to see Maddy now, but they were all concerned about Drew.

“Very well then, I'll see you all at 4” stated Dr. Maggie. And with that she headed off to the ward to check on Drew and Jules, and order up the tests.

On her way back to the ward, she stopped and asked the unit clerk to try and get hold of Dr. Karen Page at University of Virginia Health Sciences Center in Charlottesville, and when she did to page her. When she got to the room assigned to Drew, she peeked in and saw Drew, asleep on the bed and Jules asleep in a chair right beside the bed. She smiled, and marveled at the fact that all children look like angels when sleeping. Well, before she woke Jules up to let her know what was happening, she went over to the nursing station.

“Could I have the chart for Drew Bond, please?” she asked the nurse at the station. She quickly went over the chart noting that all vital signs were fine, and Drew had not woken up as yet. “Well, he shouldn't wake up for about another 3 to 5 hours” she thought, given the dosage of sedative she had given him. “Right”, she said to the nurse “I need to have some other tests run right away. Can you hand me a blood work requisition and please call Radiology and see if we can get Drew in for an MRI right away”.

“Yes, doctor” was the reply as the nurse handed her the requisition.

“Let's see now – CBC, LSH, FSH, Testosterone (Random), dihydrotestosterone, Serum Estradiol, and liver and kidney panels. Oh, and basic genetic karyotyping. That should do for now. Please contact the lab and have them send someone down right away. Oh, and what did Radiology say?”

“Well doctor, they can take her up in about half an hour” replied the nurse.

“Excellent. Wait a minute, did you say her?”

“Well yes doctor, the young lady in 414.”

“Nurse, please look at the chart – Drew Bond is male, not female. Please make sure you get that correct.” Just then Dr. Maggie was paged to the phone. “Must be Karen” she thought.

“Dr. Maggie MacArthur"

“Ah. Maggie – Karen Page returning your call. It's good to hear from you, but I presume this is not a social call. You have a case you wish to discuss?”

“Actually Karen, I have a case I need you to see. Young male from Britain, here on an exchange. Due to a lot of interference, has had to present himself as female for the last 5 weeks. He was found this morning by his sister, virtually catatonic, muttering ‘Who is Drew? Who is Gaby? Who am I?' over and over to himself. I have him sedated right now and his sister is with him. The parents are on a flight over from England. I have been interviewing everyone involved in this sorry mess, and I have saved his ‘girlfriend' for last at 4pm. She seems to be the main instigator pushing Drew to dress and be Gaby, even when he doesn't want to. There are also some serious hormonal anomalies – I have had his medical files sent over from England, and I am running a very full scope of blood work right now. And in about 30 minutes, he will be going for a complete abdominal MRI.”

“I know this is really short notice, but can you be here for the interview with his girlfriend at 4:00? And if you can stay a day or two and assess him I would be very grateful.”

“Certainly Maggie….it sounds like an interesting case. And you obviously have a few hares you wish to run to ground on the physical side of things. I'm done seeing patients for the day now anyways, and I will get another member of the department to cover me for the next couple of days. It'll take me about 90 minutes to get there. Are you sure you don't want to have him brought here?”

“No Karen, his family will come directly here. After you've had a chance to see him and assess him, we can decide that. Anyways, we'll see you in an hour and a half – and thanks, I appreciate you coming out here.”

“Right, see you soon” and Karen hung up the phone.

Maggie hung up the phone and headed back for Drew's room to check on him and Jules. The lab technician was just leaving when she got there. “Please make sure you get a rush on those tests, would you?”

“Of course doctor” replied the tech as she headed for the lab.

Maggie entered the room and found Jules, sitting beside Drew and talking quietly to him. “Ah, Jules. Glad to see you had a bit of a nap earlier. I just wanted to let you know that an orderly will be taking Drew up for an MRI shortly. An MRI is essentially a special type of X-Ray. I want to check a few things before your mum and dad get here.” Maggie then told Jules not to worry as she was simply making sure she had all the information to help make a proper diagnosis in Drew's case. With that she suggested Jules might want to get some lunch in the cafeteria, as it would be an hour or so before they were done with Drew.

Maggie then headed back to her office to call the radiologist supervising the MRI to ensure that everything she wanted checked was looked at. On the way, she too was struck by just how much Drew looked like a young girl. “Hmmmm” she mused “I wonder if ‘Gaby' is just Drew's way of dealing with what is happening to him. Well, I'll find out for sure when Karen and I talk to him later. Oh yes, and I'd better book the interview room with the one way glass so that Mr. and Mrs. Bond can observe the interview without Drew knowing they are there. I think we'll get far more honest answers if he has no pressure from them.”

Maggie was reviewing the medical records sent from England, when there was a knock on her door. “Come in” she said. The door opened and in came the radiologist with the results of the MRI on Drew.

“Maggie, I think you are going to want to look at these. You were right; there are some structures in the lower abdomen that appear to be underdeveloped female reproductive structures. I think we definitely need to do a few more detailed examinations.” stated Dr. Cynthia Winters. “There may be some real serious issues if those structures become active. Conversely, if they stay where they are inactive, there is always the chance that they may become cancerous. So either way, something will need to be done. Bone structure wise, if I didn't know better I would say that we were dealing with a young female as opposed to a male. This boy is facing some serious problems in the future Maggie. I really think something is going to have to be decided fairly soon. I don't think we are necessarily dealing with a fully intersexed patient though – the MRI didn't turn up much more than what look like the ovarian and uterine structures – I didn't see any evidence of a fully or partially formed vaginal canal.”

Maggie pondered the information Cindy had just given her before replying. “Well Cindy, I am still waiting on a bunch of blood test results, but this does throw a whole new perspective on things. I'll keep you up to date on what we find, because you're absolutely right, we may need to do much more detailed examinations before we send Drew home. I have Karen Page coming down from Charlottesville to sit in on my interview with Drew's girlfriend, and she will also be a key part of Drew's own assessment. His parents should be here in about another 3 or 4 hours and we'll start making some decisions then. Thank you so much for looking after this personally and getting it done so quickly.”

“Any time Maggie – keep me in the loop, and let me know what the final outcome is would you?” And with that Dr. Winters left Maggie's office so Maggie could assimilate all the new information.

As Maggie began to put the new information together with the reports from Drew's doctors at home, a picture began to emerge. Still sketchy, but she thought she might be on the right track. Definitely needed to be discussed with Karen. This could impact future treatment decisions as well as having life altering implications for Drew. Well, as soon as the blood work came back, she'd have a clearer idea. Maggie looked at her watch and saw it was 3 o'clock. “Hmmm, better get myself a bite to eat before Karen gets here. This is likely to be a long evening.” After stopping at the reception area to inform them where she was, and to send Dr. Page to her when she arrived; Maggie set off for the cafeteria.

Maggie had finished lunch and was mulling over the case with a cup of coffee. From the interviews she had done so far two things were coming through loud and clear. Everyone, without exception, had told her that Drew seemed more comfortable, more free, and more real when ‘she' was being Gaby. And the second thing was that the place where Drew went to relieve stress, get away from things, or just be alone was his bike. Junior National Champion, hill climbs, team racing – if it involved a bike and racing, Drew would be found there. Interestingly that is also where everyone said Drew was truly his most competitive, and they all made reference to taking after his mum, who was an international women's champion. There was a connection that needed to be explored – did Drew want to be just like his mum, both on and off the bike? Did Jenny subconsciously want a daughter to follow in her footsteps? Something else to discuss with Karen. Just then a tap on her shoulder interrupted her reverie.

“Earth to Maggie, are you in there?” teased Dr. Page.

“Karen – wonderful to see you again. I'm so glad you were able to come down on such short notice. I've just been going over the Bond case in my own mind to clarify some things before you got here. Physically, it is becoming very ‘interesting'. We will definitely need to do some further testing and diagnostics.”

Back in her office the two doctors went over all the medical information and interviews that Maggie had accumulated so far, and were preparing for the interview with Maddy.

“Well Maggie, you weren't kidding when you said this was a case I needed to see. Drew could be his own case study for a team of doctors, let alone just the two of us. The physical issues present an immediate challenge to be dealt with, which I think we should discuss with the parents first; then we absolutely must start to delve into ‘Gaby' with him. Even if this is just a way of dealing with what is happening to him, this is not the healthiest expression for it. And I really need a number of sessions with him before we refer him over to the Portman Clinic at St. George's in England. Because if what we have learned so far is correct, that's where we are going to find the right people to help him. And heaven help him, he has a rocky road ahead. Well, we had best talk to Maddy here right away. Right now I simply want to understand her motivations in regards to Drew. And we will need to talk about her sexuality in relation to all of this; as well as try and figure out why she puts Drew into these situations and why she likes making him dress as ‘Gaby'.”

With that Karen pulled a tape recorder and pad from her bag to get ready for the interview. “Yes Karen” Maggie replied, “it's 5 to 4 – I'll go and get Maddy and meet you in conference room 3” Maggie got up and headed out to get Maddy.

As she headed towards the waiting room, Maggie mused that this interview would certainly be the most interesting of the day, as well as the lengthiest. In some ways. Maggie thought that Maddy may be more of a key to it all than any of them realized. As she rounded the corner, she saw them all waiting there for any news of Drew.

“Just so all of you know, Drew is still asleep, and likely will not wake for at least another 2 to 3 hours. Until all of the examinations and assessments are done, there will be NO visitors except for his immediate family.” Looking around, she saw Maddy, sitting on a chair, trying to hold back tears. “Ah, Miss Peters, follow me please.” Maddy stood up and joined Maggie on her way to the conference room.
As they entered the conference room, Maddy saw Dr. Page, and looked inquiringly at Maggie. “Maddy, this is Dr. Karen Page, who I have asked to help me with Drew. She will be sitting in on this interview and will be asking you some questions as we go along. I want to make sure that Drew gets all the help he needs while he is here, and Dr. Page kindly agreed to lend her expertise. Please have a seat, and we will get started.”

As Maddy sat down, her thoughts were going a mile a minute. “What were they going to ask her? How much would she have to tell them? Would her Drewbie be all right? Would Gaby ever come back?”
“Maddy?” asked Dr. Page, “please call me Karen. We are all here to try and help Drew get better. To do that we need to find out everything we can about him, and ‘Gaby', in order to be the most help. All Maggie and I want is what's best for Drew. In order to do that, we need all the information we can get from the people who know him – particularly those who love him. I'd like you to tell us what you remember about events where Drew has been Gaby, and why he became Gaby. I also need for you to talk to us about how you feel about Drew and Gaby and how you see your relationship with him/her. That is equally important, because from the other interviews, everyone agrees that Drew is quite taken with you, but as Gaby is more like your twin sister.”

Tears began to roll down Maddy's cheeks. “This is all my fault!” she wailed.

Chapter 5

“My Drewbie is in a hospital bed because of me! If I hadn't made him be ‘Gaby' so often, this never would have happened!”

“Well Maddy” said Maggie, “Could you tell about the first time you got Drew to dress up for you, and why you asked him to?”

“Well, it was for the Easter Dance. It was a costume affair. I had thought for a long time that Drew would look cute as a girl, so I convinced the other girls that we should all go as Sailor Moon characters, and get Drew and Rhod to be the other characters. They only agreed if we could prove that they would look like ‘real' girls, not boys wearing a dress. So, we made them up and dressed them, and they fooled almost everyone. Drew's sister Jules figured it out, and a few days later my mum did, too. But we convinced them to go through with it anyways.” Maddy was starting to let the memories flow now, and was pretty much just saying what came to mind for her; something that both Maggie and Karen were picking up on, and letting her run with. “She looked so cute and so sexy. I knew that we were going to win the prize. ‘Gaby' actually won best costume that night. Looking the way she did made my tummy do little flips. My Drew is wonderful, but Gaby?.....she takes wonderful to a whole level.” Maddy then started to describe many of the other times she had gotten Drew to be Gaby, and she left out nothing. She wanted her Drew and her Gaby back. She told them how she often tricked Drew into dressing, and how he'd told her he was never going to dress as Gaby again and she was always able to talk him out of it. “She is so much more alive when she's Gaby. It's like the same person but like a hyped up…no, that's not it….it's more like she truly comes to life.”

Maggie and Karen exchanged a look and Karen asked Maddy “So is that the reason why you kept getting Drew to dress as Gaby?”

“Well, sort of….. I'm not sure how to explain it. Gaby is Drew, but Gaby is more than Drew. She's my best friend and she's everything Drew is and she's pretty and fun to be with and I really, really like Gaby. To have Drew and Gaby in the same person is like having the best of both worlds. And I really do love Drew. He's my boyfriend, and I'd do anything for him. But Gaby ……” Maddy was blushing furiously. She hadn't really intended to reveal quite that much. But she would bare her soul to these doctors if they could help Drew. “Umm….Drew isn't going to find out what I told you I he? I think it would hurt his feeling to know that I really, really like Gaby. But then I guess I haven't really been thinking too much about what he wants lately, have I? I've been pretty horrid, really. I know he'd do anything for me, and I used it against him, and now he's had a collapse and it's my fault! I got him to go out for the cheer team, and I'm the one that got him to be Gaby his whole time here. I just hope he'll speak to me again.”

“Maddy – this isn't all your fault.” stated Karen. “Certainly you have contributed to Drew's mental state, but it is not ALL your fault. I won't sugar coat this. Drew is going to need a lot of help and support over the coming months. What's happening to him, some people never recover from. They retreat into their own little world and never come back. If Drew does come back from this, you are going to have to make some choices in your life as it impacts Drew. You are going to have to respect the boundaries he sets when it comes to Gaby. If he says no, then you need to let him be. But you also need to be honest with him. At some point you will need to sit down with him and talk about all of this, if you wish to have a long term relationship with him. Relationships that last are built on a foundation of honesty and friendship, as well as love.

As well, I think you need to explore your own feelings. You need to discover within yourself where your preferences lie. Whether you like boys, or girls, or both in a sexual way. Knowing your own way is equally as important. Perhaps more important. You have to be honest with yourself as much as you need to be honest with Drew. And I think it is also something you need to discuss with your parents as well. They are your family and I'm sure they love you very much. There are no boundaries on who you can love and how they have to look. What matters is how you and that person feel about each other.”

Maggie picked up what Karen was saying at that point and continued. “Yes Maddy, and a relationship that lasts is built on a foundation of trust and equality. It cannot be a one sided relationship – that is not healthy either. A strong and stable relationship takes work, and compromise, and a willingness to put your partner's needs ahead of your own when the situation warrants it. If you think about it, your relationship with Drew has been tilted your way the whole time, hasn't it? As long as Drew has done what you have wanted him to, things have been fine. One of the other girls mentioned the Halloween dance – and that Drew had come to your house as Dracula, a male character; upon which you went off and refused to go unless Drew went as the female character you had picked out for him.”

“But Dr. Maggie, she'd have ruined the whole thing!” exclaimed Maddy. “We'd decided to go as members of the cast of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Drew was supposed to be Buffy.”

“Why couldn't Drew have gone as one of the male members of the cast – like Xander or Oz or Rupert?” asked Maggie. “Why was it necessary for you to make him be one of the female characters? And why, when Drew showed up as Dracula, was it necessary to essentially force it on him by making him feel guilty? And who had decided you were all going as Buffy characters? Did you all sit down and agree to it?” Maggie had decided to push Maddy a bit, to try and get her to think about her reasons for everything; and confirm a few things in her own mind.

“And why would it have been ‘ruined' if Drew had gone as Dracula? Would it have been ruined because he made up his own mind as opposed to just deferring to you? Is it because you had told the others that you would have Drew come as Buffy, and didn't want to look bad? Or was it just because he wouldn't be the girl for you?” Maggie knew she was going to spark a reaction from this line of questioning, but was not quite sure what the reaction would be. She and Karen had to try and find out what was motivating Maddy to do this – it would certainly help them with Drew's diagnosis and treatment.

Maddy bristled at Dr. Maggie's questions. “I wanted Gaby with me!” she snapped. “We have a lot more fun when Gaby is there, and that's what the Halloween dance was for – to have fun. And, everyone agreed that the Buffy theme was a good idea”.

“But it was your idea, wasn't it Maddy? And obviously not everyone agreed with it, because Drew came as Dracula. But you still haven't answered my questions. Why would the night have been ruined if Drew was Dracula? And why did you use guilt as a weapon against someone you tell us you love?” Maggie looked over at Karen and saw Karen give her a slight nod. Maggie needed Maddy to confront and admit her to herself what her agenda was when it came to Drew. Otherwise, they would get home and she would slip back into the old familiar patterns and Drew would be right back where he started.

“Yes, it was my idea! Gaby looked fabulous and I knew she would. And it would have been ruined because it wasn't the way I wanted it!” Maddy half shouted at Maggie, rising out of her chair. “And it wasn't me that convinced him to change, it was Mum. I told mum I wasn't going if Drew went as Dracula, and she went and convinced him.”

“So then you manipulated your mother into doing it for you. That's not any better Maddy and you know it. So then, if things aren't the way you want them, then they're wrong. Interesting thought Maddy. Are things the way you want them now? Is Drew being sedated in a hospital what you want? Is possibly destroying him what you want? Because right now, from the outside, that seems to be what you're saying. You have told us yourself how you orchestrated all of this, and Drew is having a mental collapse because of it. How does it feel, Maddy?”

Maddy was stunned by what Dr. Maggie had said. Her mind reeled as she listened to Maggie show her what she had done to Drew. She began to play back their relationship in her mind. It was like a catalogue of control. Drew would do anything she wanted him to – he wanted whatever she wanted; and when he disagreed, she talked him around. He was always doing whatever it took to please her. And she had taken full advantage of that. Tears began to run down her cheeks as she thought of the Con when they were getting harassed and Drew was ready to walk out on her, costume or no. She had been trying to make him into the girl that she could love. And there it was. There – into the GIRL that she could love. Drew was a friend, a companion and a wonderful person; but she would never love him that way. It was always Gaby she kissed and teased and flirted with. But Drew was her best friend, and she had wanted a best friend and someone she could love in that way. She couldn't find that best friend in another girl, and she couldn't get that girl from Drew. So the only thing to do was to combine them. And so she had set about doing just that. The only problem of course is that the object of her affection wasn't in on the plan and was a rather unwilling participant.

“It's true” she thought to herself “I am attracted to girls. I am a lesbian. I want Drew, but I want Drew as a girl.”

“Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod! What will Drew think of me now?!! What will mum and dad think? What will Uncle Dave and Aunt Jenny think? What will all my friends think?” These thoughts and a thousand others flitted through Maddy's consciousness at the speed of light. The emotions warring within her were written all over her face. Maggie and Karen watched in silence as Maddy struggled with the new awareness of who she was, and the new appreciation for the situation that she had put Drew in.

After Maddy started to calm down, Karen took the lead. “It looks like you have made a few discoveries about yourself since you've been here in Grottoes, Maddy. Some good, some not so good. The important thing is in how you deal with them. And in how you help those around you adjust to the new Maddy. By the sound of it you have a very loving family and group of friends; and I think you just need to be honest with them. Tell them how you feel and who you are inside.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Maggie went over to answer it. It was a nurse, letting her know that the Bonds and Mrs. Peters had arrived. Maggie looked at her watch. “Oh my, 6:30 already” she thought. “I'd better go and tell Jos and the others to go home for a while, and that Maddy will be staying here for a while, as her mother is now here”

She turned back to Karen and Maddy. “Excuse me for interrupting, but I need to go and take care of a couple of things. Please continue and I will rejoin you as soon as I can.” With that she left the room, Karen and Maddy engrossed in their conversation once more.

Maggie went out to the waiting room, and signaled Jocelyn to come over. “Jos, we're going to be a while yet. Maddy knows Drew better than anyone and we're trying to get as much input as we can. The Bonds and Mrs. Peters have just arrived from England, so I suspect Maddy will stay with her mum tonight. Please keep it under your hat that they are all here, would you please Jos? I'd like to keep this all as low key as possible for now.” Jocelyn agreed and said they would all head home and that she'd tell everyone that Maggie would arrange for Maddy to be brought home later.

As Maggie headed off to meet the Bonds and Carol Peters, she tried to gather her thoughts, and the direction she wanted to take at the start. She needed to talk to the Bonds about interviewing Drew without them present in the room, she needed to discuss what they had found out today and get Dave and Jenny's thoughts and feeling on the table, and she needed to discuss the results of the physical tests they had run. As well, she needed to sit down with Carol Peters to discuss Maddy with her before she took her to meet Maddy. Maddy, in her own way, was dealing with as much as Drew was. And it was important that Carol understood that and was there for Maddy. But being there for her also meant setting boundaries as well. And she had to understand that letting Maddy manipulate her was not a good thing. She saw a long few days coming with the Bonds and the Peters. She was very glad that Karen had agreed to come and help her with this one.

Maggie went to the ward where Drew was knowing that is where she would find them. As she approached the room, she saw Jenny on one side of the bed and Dave on the other, each holding one of Drew's hands. She could see the concern on their faces, and wished that she could give them some reassurance. But, given the test results and the mental breakdown, she knew they were in for a long and rocky road.

Maggie stepped in to the room, and with a finger to her lips motioning them to be quiet, she directed them out of the room to where they could speak. “Hello, I'm Dr. Maggie McArthur. You must be the Bonds, and you must be Carol Peters – Maddy's mother. Right now Drew will likely sleep for another 90 minutes or so and Maddy is in with my colleague, Dr. Karen Page. None of the children know you are coming, so if we could, I'd like us all to have a talk in my office before Drew wakes up and while Maddy is speaking with Karen. Jules, could you sit with Drew for now, and if he wakes up before we get back, please don't let on that your mum and dad are here”

“Okay, Dr. Maggie” replied Jules. “Now that mum and dad are here I know we will get everything worked out, so at least I can be somewhat cheery when he wakes up.”

With that, Maggie asked the other three to follow her, and they headed to her office. Once in her office, Maggie asked them all to take a seat and asked the receptionist to bring in some coffee and tea. “Now I must ask this for the purposes of patient confidentiality. Can we all discuss Drew and Maddy together? They are so intertwined in many ways, that if it is all right with you, I'd like to discuss them jointly.”

Jenny looked at Dave, who nodded, and then at Carol, who also nodded and then she replied “Certainly doctor. We, as much as anyone, know how inseparable the two of them are; and if discussing it jointly will help Drew, then by all means let's do so”

“Well Jenny” said Maggie “this is also to help Maddy, as she has some issues she is dealing with as well. Both concerning her and Drew. Since Drew was brought in first thing this morning, I have spent the day interviewing everyone possible who has a connection to Drew, and Dr. Page is still talking to Maddy as we speak. Karen is a psychiatrist who specializes in gender issues, and I thought it appropriate to get what I consider to be some expert advice in that area.”

“Throughout the course of the day I have also run a lot of physical tests on Drew and there are a number of anomalies that we have to look at as well. As Drew has been sedated to this point, I would like to spend tomorrow morning having him talk to Karen and myself. And here's the rub I'm afraid. I want to ask you to not let him know you are here until after our initial discussions. Now before you get angry, please let me assure you that you will be able to see and hear everything we talk about. I have arranged a room with one way glass and speakers so you can observe without Drew's knowledge. It is my belief, and Dr. Page's, that we will get more ‘unbiased' and open talk from Drew if he doesn't know you are here.”

Jenny and Dave both started to interject, but with Maggie's last statement, stopped and sat back to think about that.

“Well Dave, what do you think?” asked Jenny. “Much as I don't like Drew being alone like this another night, she may have a point. Kids may not say everything they feel if their parents are in the room, and Drew hasn't really told us how he feels about all of this. And as long as we can watch and hear everything that is going on, it should be all right.”

“Maggie, we just want what is best for Drew. If this is what you think is best, we will honour that request.”

“Thank you Jenny. I know it is difficult not to be with him tonight, and not being able to make it all better. But I do think it is important that you and Mr. Bond get to hear what Drew has to say, from his own mouth, how he feels about ‘Gaby' and dressing as a girl.”

“We will discuss the specifics of Drew's physical issues in a few moments. But right now I'd like to discuss Maddy, if I may. Today, Maddy has had a couple of major epiphanies, both of which concern Drew. The first being the realization that their relationship was and is very one sided. That up until now, she has always had her way, pretty much no matter what.”

Carol quickly interjected “What do you mean one-sided?! Maddy is a very generous and caring person, and she would never take advantage like that!”

“Well Carol, she herself gave us many examples of just that behaviour – and the Halloween Dance was a major example. Drew came to your place dressed as Dracula, because he didn't want to go as a girl. And because Maddy had a tantrum about it, you essentially guilted him into dressing and going as Buffy, did you not?”

“Umm…errr…..well, I might have. Maddy told me they had all agreed to it, and then Drew showed up as Dracula. She said she wouldn't go unless Drew changed.”

“So, if Drew came as Dracula, then it would appear that not everyone agreed to it, did they Carol?”

“Well, no, I guess not”

“That is the type of behaviour I am talking about. From what everyone has told me, Drew will do virtually anything to please others. Which is an issue we will have to begin dealing with, with him. But, I am discussing this with you now, because Maddy has come to the realization that what she has been doing is not healthy for Drew, and certainly not healthy for a long term relationship for the two of them. What I am asking you to do in Maddy's case is to be aware of the behaviour and stop it when you see it. It will certainly help out Maddy in the future, as well as helping out Drew now.”

“So that explains it” said Dave. “I knew he had gone out as a boy, and saw him come back as a girl, but we never discussed it further. He said I didn't want to know. Well then, the interview without us there may be very important then. We may learn a few things we didn't want to know too, but if it will help solve all of this…….”

Jenny was getting angry hearing about how Drew had been manipulated into being Gaby. “How dare Maddy do that to my child!” she thought. “And Carol joined in on it too!”

“Oh God, Dave. We've done it to him too! Germany, Paris, the papers, the team…..we've never come out and supported Drew being Drew! And I bloody started it with the costume race, where ‘Gaby” got her name.” Tears came to Jenny's eyes as she thought about it. They had put their needs and wants ahead of Drew's.

“Jenny, Dave, we can and will talk about that later, and will begin dealing with that with Drew tomorrow as well.”

“Carol, I mentioned that there were a couple of epiphanies for Maddy today. Through the course of our discussion with her today, it has forced her to confront her own feelings and recognize what she is looking for in life. And in a partner. And Drew would be perfect, if he were a girl.”

At that statement, all three of them bolted upright in their chairs and looked at Maggie.

“So you're telling us that my daughter is gay then are you?” questioned Carol.

“I'm not telling you anything Carol – she told us. And I am quite certain she will tell you. I wanted you to be aware, so it does not come as a great shock when she tells you. She is at the stage of development where she absolutely needs the love and support of her family. And how you react to her news will have an indelible impression on her. Dr. Page is with her now talking about things. Would you like to go and talk to her with Dr. Page?” queried Maggie.

“Of course I would. She needs her mum right now. Poor lamb. It's a lot to try and deal with at any time, let alone when your best friend is in hospital.”

Maggie called in a nurse, and asked her to take Carol to Dr. Page on conference room 3. Once Carol had left, Maggie turned back to Jenny and Dave.

“I've been over the notes sent by your doctors in England, which is why I ordered a rather large number of tests. And it appears we will have to do a few more. What we have found so far will require some more investigation. I'm sure that his doctors at home told you he had a pretty much non-existent testosterone level? And that being the case the natural estrogens would begin to shape his body like a girl?”

Yes, they did – I was with Drew when he was told” commented Dave.

“Well, there is more to it than that, I believe. Potentially much more. I ran the same blood work plus a few additional tests, and they pointed in one or two specific directions. Either an Intersex issue; or an Androgen Insensitivity issue. In either case, it will affect Drew's immediate future. Because of that I ordered an abdominal MRI. The MRI shows what appear to be underdeveloped female reproductive structures. Now I believe we need to do further investigation with a much more detailed MRI of the area, looking for evidence of a vaginal canal or surgical scarring.”

“The radiologist doing the MRI told me if she didn't know better, she would have thought they were scanning a female if she was just looking at the bone structure. And Drew's dihydrotestosterone levels were in the normal range, but his serum testosterone levels were very low. I want to run an androgen receptor study to see if Drew is androgen insensitive. If so, then it will be imperative for Karen to talk to him. Gender issues are quite complicated in situations like this. If Drew is completely androgen insensitive, he will develop as a female, and giving him testosterone shots would actually be quite harmful. He will not ‘fill out' like a man, and would never be able to father children, if his genitals worked in that manner anyways. Which they may not. If he is partially androgen insensitive, the physical symptoms can vary quite a bit. I am still waiting on the basic genetic karyotyping at this point, so I am not 100 percent sure of anything yet.”

“I am leaning towards an intersex condition, because of the MRI. If what I suspect is correct then we may not have a boy here at all. In a case like I am describing, t he person has the chromosomes of a woman, the ovaries of a woman, but external (outside) genitals that appear male. This usually is the result of a female fetus having been exposed to excess male hormones before birth. The labia fuse, and the clitoris enlarges to appear like a penis. Usually this person has a normal uterus and Fallopian tubes. This condition is also called 46, XX with virilization. It used to be called female pseudohermaphroditism. There are several possible causes:”

“Congenital adrenal hyperplasia which is the most common cause.”

“Male hormones (such as testosterone) taken or encountered by the mother during pregnancy.”

“Male hormone-producing tumors in the mother. These are most often ovarian tumors. Mothers who have children with 46, XX intersex should be checked unless there is another clear cause. In your case Jenny, I would like you to get your doctors to forward the report here so we can see.”

“Aromatase deficiency. This one may not be noticeable until puberty. Aromatase is an enzyme that normally converts male hormones to female hormones. Too much aromatase activity can lead to excess estrogen (female hormone); too little to 46, XX intersex. At puberty these XX children, who had been raised as girls, may begin to take on male characteristics.”

“I know this is a lot to take in right now, but before I go and see Drew I wanted to let you know what we have found so far, and what we still have to look for. I am amazed from what everyone has told me about Drew that he has coped this well this long. And become Jr. National Champion and seems well on the way to the Olympics at some point.”

Dave and Jenny were absolutely gob smacked by what Maggie had told them.

“Ummm…..this is so much to try and absorb, Maggie. Dave and I had never even thought along those lines. We just thought he might be one of those boys who enjoyed dressing up. I think we, well certainly I, understand why you and Dr. Page want to talk to Drew alone first to see what kind of answers he gives. And I now certainly understand the reason for all of his medical reports and the tests you have been running. This puts a whole new complexion on things. And we want to thank you for discussing this part of Drew's condition with us in private.”

“Well Jenny, Dave, this has ballooned into a very complex issue from a ‘simple', and I use that term loosely, teen breakdown. No health crisis is ever simple, but this one is going to take some real sorting. After I get the basic genetics back, Karen and I will sit down with you two and go over what we think is happening, and what we believe to be the best course of treatment. We can decide then how much of it we will share with Drew at this time, and how much we will wait to explain.”

“When I go to see Drew tonight, if you have no objection, I will explain that you two will be coming as soon as you can get clearance from the doctors to travel, Jenny. That way he will know his family is coming and will worry less. Also, I will keep him here for a few days until we know he is on stable ground again. Karen has already told me she has a few days to be here and help.”

Dave and Jenny looked at each other and then Dave replied “That will be fine Maggie. Jenny and I need to go and get some rest and talk about this ourselves, and how we can deal with whatever happens out of this.”

Just then there was a knock on the door and Karen poked her head in. “Ah, Maggie, how are you and Mr. and Mrs. Bond doing? I have wrapped up with Maddy and Carol for the evening – we'll meet again tomorrow – and I thought everyone could use a break.”

“We're just wrapping up Karen. Please come in and meet the Bonds. And if Maddy and Carol are there, please ask them to come in as well.”

Karen and the Peters' walked in. Maddy ran over to Jenny and Dave and gave them both a hug and was trying to apologize for what happened to Drew. “It's okay Maddy…we know you would never knowingly hurt Drew” said Jenny. “Now it's a matter of getting Drew better and home”. Dr. Page then introduced herself and she and the Peters' sat down.

“Well I think that you and Dave and Jules, and Carol and Maddy are probably beat and could use a rest. Why don't all of you go and have supper and have a good night's rest and we'll convene here in my office at 9 am tomorrow? I will go and sit with Drew until he wakes up, and will make sure he's looked after until you can see him tomorrow.”

Everyone agreed this was a good idea, so they all headed to Drew's ward. Maggie asked them to hang back when they were nearing the room, in case Drew was already awake. When she got to the room, she saw Drew was still sleeping, and motioned Jules to come out.

“Has he woken at all Jules?”

“Not yet Dr. Maggie, but he started to stir a little bit about a quarter of an hour ago.”

“Ah, good. He should be coming around soon. Why don't you go with your mum and dad. I'll be here with him when he wakes up – he's met me before, so he shouldn't be frightened. You and your parents can get some rest and we'll meet again in the morning.”

Jules looked wistfully at Drew. She didn't want to leave him, but she was hungry and tired, and she hadn't seen mum and dad in 5 weeks. “All right Dr. Maggie. You take good care of him, please?”

“Of course Jules. Now, off you go.”

Chapter 6

Maggie turned to Karen. “Would you like to wait until Drew wakes up and talk to him a bit this evening, or would you like to wait until tomorrow? I'm going to go in and sit with him until he wakes – he's met me before, and I already knew his secret, so he should feel safe with me.”

“Well Maggie, I am getting a bit tired and I'd like to spend some time consolidating all my notes from today and organizing my thoughts before I meet Drew. I booked a room over at the Courtyard on Evelyn Bird Avenue. I can be reached over there if you need me, but otherwise I'll meet you here at about 8:00 so we can compare notes before seeing Drew together. I think we have a lot more going on than we have found out so far. And with any luck, the remaining blood tests you ordered should be back by then as well.”

“Okay Karen, I'll meet you in my office at 8:00. Have a good night, and thanks again for coming on such short notice.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure Maggie. With a case like this…….it's the kind of challenge that seldom comes around. And it's an opportunity to make a difference. What more can a doctor ask for?”

“Truly. And in this case we may well get to help more than just Drew. Well, I'll see you in the morning.” With that Maggie went into Drew's room.

Maggie checked over Drew's chart, noting that everything was looking good with his vital signs. Looking over at him, she saw him begin to stir. “Won't be too long now” she thought. Maggie leaned back in her chair and began going over some of her notes. The MRI was certainly a telling factor. She hadn't anticipated the results that came back; really she had only done it to rule out certain things. If the karyotyping came back as she now thought it might, Drew was going to need a lot of help coping.

Just then she heard a little moan come from Drew. She looked over and saw Drew stretching and coming back to full consciousness. “Ah well, now let's see if Drew is coherent enough to talk” she thought.

Drew sat up and looked around. He was definitely not at the Walter's house. The last thing he remembered was going back to bed thinking about Gaby and what was happening to him. It looked like a hospital room – he wondered what had happened. Turning further, he spotted Dr. Maggie.

“Dr. Maggie. Am I in the hospital? What happened? Is Jules okay? Why am I here?”

“Take it easy Drew, everyone is alright. Umm…you had a bit of a breakdown I'm afraid. Juliette found you rocking back and forth on your bed asking yourself over and over ‘Who is Drew? Who is Gaby? Who am I?’ She couldn't wake you or get through to you, so they brought you to the hospital, and by the luck of the draw you got me.” Maggie was trying to keep this somewhat light while she assessed Drew's present mental state. She would be truthful with him, but wouldn't get into anything serious tonight.

“I remember thinking about being Gaby so much, and I'm very confused by it all Dr. Maggie. I mean, sometimes I think everyone wants Gaby and not Drew – and I just want to be me.” Tears started to roll down Drew's cheeks as he spoke – the thought that ‘he' was not wanted was very distressing to him.

“Drew. It's okay. Everything will work out as it should. I talked to your mum and dad today, and your mum is finding out if she is cleared to travel or not. If she is, they will be flying over, and we can all sit down and find a solution to everything.”

“Now please Drew, try not to worry too much. Jules will certainly be glad to know that you're awake – she was here all day with you. I just sent her home to get some sleep a little while ago.”

Upon hearing that his mum and dad were trying to come to his side, Drew sagged in relief. He wanted a hug from them and some reassurance that they still loved him.

“Dr. Maggie, I'm sorry for having been so much trouble.”

“Now Drew, it's been no trouble at all – don't worry about it. If you like, now that you're awake and talking, I'll phone the Walters' to let them know you’re feeling better. They stayed most of the day, and I sent them home not long ago as well.”

“Oh yes, please, Dr. Maggie. How long am I going to be here? I have a race this weekend, and I don't want to let the team down.”

Maggie chuckled. Just like what she'd heard throughout the interviews today, Drew was anxious to get back on his bike. And also was worried about not pleasing people.

“Well Drew, we'll see. I have a doctor friend of mine who wants to come and have a chat with you, and I want to run some tests to make sure nothing is physically wrong. We want to make sure you're well. But I think you may be able to make the race.”

Hearing Dr. Maggie say he would be able to race made Drew feel very good. He loved being on his bike – it was the one place where who he was didn't matter. Where what he did on the bike was all that mattered. There was no Drew, no Gaby – there was simply the bike and the race. A time of being in the zone where he could be free of the mundane and everyday world. And where he didn't have to think about his body changes and how others perceived him. It was the best place on Earth as far as he was concerned.

“Okay Dr. Maggie that would be brill.”

“Are you tired still Drew, or would you like something to eat? I know you haven't eaten today, and if you feel up to it, you should have something. I have to say it may not be much – some tea and toast if you like.”

Drew's stomach growled in response.

“I'll take that as a yes then, Drew. Hang on a minute while I go and talk to one of the nurses.” Maggie was chuckling as she went out to the nurse's station and gave orders to have a light meal sent up right away. While she was there she called Karen.

“Well Karen, he's awake and seems lucid at this point. Although he is concerned about whether his family and friends want Drew or Gaby, and of course he was asking how quickly he can get back on his bike. There is apparently a race this weekend he is supposed to compete in. Now from what I know, he is supposed to compete as Gaby, so we'll have to decide where to go with that in the next couple of days.”

“That's good news Maggie. I wasn't sure if he'd be responsive when he woke up or not. Well, we can go over things in the morning with his parents and then have a talk with him and see what we can find out what he feels about Gaby versus Drew and where we go from here. I'm going to call it a night then, and I'll see you in the morning. 8:00 am, in your office?”

“Right Karen. I'll see you then” Maggie hung up the phone and headed back to Drew's room.

“Well Drew, I've ordered up a light meal for you, and it should be here soon. In the meantime, do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”

“Umm…no, I guess not, Dr. Maggie”

“Not to worry Drew, I just want to ask you a few general health questions. And then after you have a bite to eat, I'd like you to try and get some more sleep. I'll bet you have run yourself down worrying about all of this, haven't you?”

“Well, Dr. Maggie, I do feel tired still. I feel like I could sleep for weeks, actually” Drew admitted.

“Right then – well, can you tell me when you started noticing the physical changes that are happening to you?”

“Well, it seems to have only started within the last few months. Dad took me to the doctor at home after I had fainted a few times after rides. That was kind of when we started to notice things. And that was when he put me on those iron pills.” Drew started to blush. “It was a while later, when a couple of people mentioned that was what they gave young girls when … ermmm … well you know Dr. Maggie.”

“Yes, Drew – I know. It's okay, really. They give people iron supplements all the time and not just young girls in puberty. Iron deficiencies can happen to anyone and at any age.”

Hearing that made Drew feel better somehow. He wasn't sure what was happening to him, but he was glad he wasn't alone in taking iron pills.

“Doctor Maggie, do you know what's happening to me, and why? I mean, well ……. Am I going to develop properly? And, why does everyone mistake me for a girl?”

“Well Drew, we hope to discover what's going on over the next few days. I am going to have a bunch of tests run, like I told you; and I hope they will answer some of those questions for you.”

“But I see your supper, such as it is, has arrived. Why don't you eat and I'll come back in a while and check on you.”

“All right, Dr. Maggie. I'll see you in a little while.”

Maggie got up as the nurse was putting the tray down for Drew, and headed out of the room. She went over to the nursing station and asked for Drew's chart. She wrote up a few notes, and then said to the nurse “When Drew is done eating, let me know and I'll come up and check on him a few minutes after that. I suspect he may go to sleep right away, but if not, I will prescribe a mild sedative for him. In the meantime, I'm going to go and get a cup of coffee myself.”

“Very well, doctor” replied the nurse. Handing the chart back to the nurse, Maggie then headed to the cafeteria for a cup of coffee.

As Maggie sat drinking her coffee she started considering everything they had learned so far that day. First and foremost was the fact that Drew was a very resilient child. Maggie knew adults that couldn't deal with an identity crisis as well as Drew had so far. Yes, he'd had a breakdown, but given all the stresses in his life right now, that wasn't altogether surprising. But it was very interesting that one way or the other, Drew just wanted to be Drew. He differentiated between Drew and Gaby. So was Gaby just a persona for him or was Gaby truly a part of him? He seemed to slip into ‘Gaby' mode so easily and so completely, but just the way he answered her this evening made Maggie think that he was fine as is – in his own mind. That it was the interference of others pressing him to be ‘Gaby' that bothered him.

“I wonder if he would dress en femme on his own or not. And if so, would it just be another side of Drew? And how will Maddy's self-discovery affect Drew? That one will certainly have to be handled carefully. He is so eager to please and so apologetic for what he perceives to be a mistake on his part………this could hit him rather hard”

Maggie wondered what they were going to do about the apparent uterine and ovarian structures and the possibility of an intersex condition. Damn! She'd forgotten to order the androgen receptor study. They needed to find out if Drew was Androgen Insensitive as well. Because that would also be an indicator of potential treatments. They were going to need a full scale MRI of the abdominal region that was for certain. Every answer they got just asked more difficult questions.

As she got up and headed for Drew's room to check on him she was struck by the fact that in all of their interviews, Drew and Gaby seemed to have struck a chord with everyone. That in either instance, it was Drew's personality (which was of course the basis for Gaby's) that made the transition to female a non-issue. Like he was in absolute balance between his Yin and Yan. Maggie had never met anyone quite like him, and she suspected that Karen would shortly come to the same conclusion.

Maggie was remembering a class she had taken in native studies, way back in university – and was recalling what she had read about what the natives called the ‘two-spirited'. Drew, being in balance, would likely be training as a shaman at this point in his life if he were native. And his essence would be revered within the tribe as a gift from the Great Spirit. Today however, in western European based civilizations; that balanced and caring nature was more likely to get him reviled and make him a social pariah. What a difference the cultural grounding makes thought Maggie.

Stopping at the nursing station on her way by, Maggie asked if Drew had finished dinner.

“Yes doctor, he finished and promptly went back to sleep. He looks like a little angel when he's asleep – not a care in the world” replied the nurse.

“Thanks Piper. He does look rather ‘otherworldly' when he's asleep doesn't he? I wish we could bottle that. Oh, and give me another blood work order – we want to start an androgen receptor study. We could also be dealing with Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.”

Maggie quietly peeked in on Drew, so she wouldn't disturb him, and saw that he was in a deep, natural sleep. “Well lad” she thought “tomorrow will be a busy and exhausting day for all of us. And I hope you're as resilient as I think you are, because we have a lot to talk about and a lot of decisions to make.” And with that, Maggie exited the room, let the nurses know she was going home for the night, and headed out.

Back at the hotel Jenny and Dave and Jules were settling into their hotel room. On the way back from dinner, they had stopped at Brit and Deb's to pick up clothes for Jules and to assure the Walters' that from what they could tell at that time, Drew was doing as well as could be expected, and they would let the Walters' know as things progressed.

“Jules, why don't you crawl into to bed and try and get some sleep? I know you're exhausted” said Jenny. “Your dad and I are going to go down and try and find a cuppa, and chat for a while. And don't worry we'll fill you in on everything as we find out too.”

“Alright mum – I am rather tired.” Jules admitted. She then came over and gave her mum a hug. “We've missed you bunches mum, and I'm so glad you're feeling well enough to travel. I didn't know what I was going to do when we took Drew to the hospital.”

“SShhh, pet, it's all right. We're here now. And we'll work this all out as a family” Jenny reassured her, as she stroked her daughter's hair. Jenny thought about how Jules had handled herself through this crisis with Drew and looked her in the eye. “You know how proud your Dad and I are of you Jules? You handled this like an adult, and we are so proud of you, and so glad you were here to help Drew.”

“Now, off to bed. Your dad's gone down to the restaurant to find us a table and a cup of tea. And I'm going to go down and join him now.”

Jenny gave Jules a kiss, and headed out of the room and down to the restaurant. Passing by Carol and Maddy's room, Jenny wondered how they were doing. They didn't really have a chance to talk at dinner, and the two of them needed the time together to come to grips with what was going on in their own world, let alone with Drew.

Dave and Jenny sat at the table, both of them unsure where to start. For a few moments, they simply sat, deep in thought, drinking their tea. Dave was the first one to speak.

“Jen, what do you think about what Dr. Maggie said? What if Drew is intersex or androgen insensitive? He's very touchy about his identity as it is. This could certainly send him for a loop.”

“Well yes, it certainly could. But have you noticed how naturally he seems to act and relate when he's Gaby? I sometimes wonder if that's a coping mechanism for what's happening to him. But I have to admit, what is really bothering me right now is how we haven't supported Drew being Drew. How many times have we encouraged or insisted upon Gaby because it was easier for us? I have to say I will be very interested to hear Drew's take on all of that tomorrow. I somehow don't think we're going to come off particularly well in it all. I started all of this mess, and even then he didn't want to do it. And I insisted. And then made him go out like that. I just don't know Dave, I feel so guilty.”

“I know luv, and so do I. I've done it equally as much. At races, when we're out, Paris……the list goes on. And I've thought a lot about it. And I wonder if it is a subconscious response to what we perceive in Drew? I know that's not fair, because he has no control in how his body is developing, but maybe we are all feeding off of the physical cues that Drew's body is telling us. But I know it's not good enough either. All the rationalizations in the world mean nothing if our child is not happy and healthy. And right now, he obviously needs some help.”

“But I have to tell you Jen, I am really incensed at the school for allowing this and in fact promoting it for their own personal agendas. I think we need to talk to our solicitor when we get home and take some action against the school. I know you have worked with all of these people, but this is Drew we're talking about. And while Carol and Maddy have a bunch of things to work out, I am none too happy with Maddy at the moment either. She seems to have been a prime instigator in this, and Drew's ‘girlfriend' or not, I think she's harming our child. Although God knows how Drew is going to react to all the revelations. This is going to be a tough haul, my love.”

“Yes, oh wonderful husband of mine, it is. I know that last few months have been a terrible strain on our family, and I am a big cause of them…….but we need to be strong for Drew, and not forget about Jules in all of this either. And in case I haven't told you lately, I still marvel at how strong you have been through all of this, and how you keep looking out for all of us.”

“But, I think it is time we went up to bed. Morning will come very early, and Dr. Maggie wants to get an early start tomorrow, so we'd better be there bright and shiny.”

“Right luv, let's go.”

And with that, Dave and Jen headed off to bed, feeling better that at least they had gotten some of their feelings out in the open, and that no matter what, they would handle this as a family.

It was 6:00 am and Maggie's clock radio came on to the sounds of Richard Marx's “Right Here Waiting for You”. Stifling a yawn, Maggie rose to greet the day. And today would be an interesting one. Drew's basic karyotyping should be back, which they would discuss with Mr. and Mrs. Bond before the meeting with Drew. And that would truly predicate a lot of what their approach today would be. Heading for the shower, she tried to think of when she'd had a case that could have so many profound implications for a child as young as Drew. No child should have this big a plate of things to deal with. But then, life wasn't fair at the best of times either.

6:45 am and Maggie was on her way to the hospital, stopping only for a triple shot mocha at Starbucks before going in. She was tired and the extra caffeine would help as the day went on. Besides, there was something sinfully good about starting the day with chocolate. As she walked in to the hospital, she saw Karen coming in as well. “Good” she thought “We can go and get the bloodwork results and start figuring out how we're going to deal with things”.

“Morning Karen – ready for an interesting day? The bloodwork should be back now and we can start planning the day.”

“Always ready Maggie. A challenge and an opportunity like this to help someone so profoundly doesn't come around that often.”

“Well then, let's be about it, shall we?” And together they headed for Maggie's office.

After looking over all of the physical results they had received so far, as well as all the interviews from the prior day, the two doctors sat back for a few moments to discuss things before the Bonds arrived.

“Well Karen, this is turning into quite the case. This child has more issues to deal with than I'd ever originally thought. When you consider the genetic anomalies in this case, it's not surprising the lad has issues. And it looks like my guess as to the cause was right. 46 XX intersexed. What they used to call female pseudohermaphroditism. He's been raised as a male, and apparently identifies as male. I'm going to have Cindy Winters run another MRI as well as a CT scan focusing on the abdominal region, and get a better handle on the structures she detected yesterday. If we're lucky they will be inactive still, because if they go active, we're going to have an immediate surgical issue, and that may be too much for Drew to handle emotionally right away.”

“I know Maggie. This puts a whole new tenor on things, and a certain urgency as well. We need to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Bond first, and then we need to have that interview with Drew. We need to start finding out if Drew can handle the news that he's really a girl, at least genetically. And then of course we are getting into areas that require very careful handling. Since he has been raised and socialized a male, will he even want to discuss embracing his physical female self? Will he wish to remain male and therefore need to go through the female to male transsexual process? And depending on how the androgen receptor studies come back, would we even be able to offer that as an option? If Drew also turns out to be Androgen Insensitive, then we can't even offer him that.”

“I have to admit that I've never had a case with this many variables or possible outcomes Maggie. Plus add in the fact that he's a minor, so the parents may ask us not to even discuss it with him; and he's from another country.”

“Yes Karen, the parents are the first issue we have to deal with. And they should be here in the next half hour or so. So, let's get our notes together and figure out how we are going to present it to them.”

Dave, Jenny, and Jules entered the hospital shortly before 8:00. Jenny looked over at Jules and remarked to her that she should go and keep Drew company, as they had a meeting with Dr. Maggie first. And to not let on to Drew that they were already here. With that, Jules headed up to Drew's room and Dave and Jenny headed for the office.

“So Dave, any thoughts on today before we see the doctors?”

“Only that I think we may learn more about Drew today than we have ever done in the past dear. I'm not sure, but I think Drew may come to realize some truths about himself as well. In a funny sort of way, this may have been the best thing that could have happened to him. We're all going to find out about his physical condition, there is a psychiatrist here that wants to help him and make the pertinent referrals in England, and we can move forward from here.”

“Strewth, you have been giving this a lot of thought, haven't you? But, it's not anything I haven't been thinking about too, luv. We are all finally going to get some answers.”

Stopping at the desk, they told the receptionist that they had an appointment to see Dr. Maggie MacArthur. A couple of minutes later, Maggie rounded the corner. “Ah, Jenny and Dave – good morning. If you'd like to follow me back to my office, we can get started. Karen is waiting for us, and I'd like to get to the interviews with Drew as soon as we can.”

Once ensconced in comfortable chairs around the table in Maggie's office, Maggie opened the meeting.

“Well, first thing let me tell you that Drew did wake up last night, and he was lucid and coherent.”

Dave and Jenny let out sighs of relief. “Well, that's good news. And let me guess, he asked how soon he could be back on his bike” quipped Jenny, stifling a nervous laugh.

“Actually Jenny, he did ask that. Something about a big race this weekend. But from what everyone, including yourselves, had told me I wasn't overly surprised.”

“Now, though, we need to move on to the test results that I have gotten back so far. I got the basic genetic karyotyping back this morning. And I'm afraid there is no easy way to say this. It is in fact what I had suspected. Drew is actually 46 XX – standard genetic female. And that we obviously have a very large issue on our plates to deal with right away. I will need to order further tests in regards to the uterine and ovarian status.”

Dave and Jenny were absolutely stunned. They had been told about the possibility the previous night, but it wasn't one they had seriously considered. Drew was a boy after all. He had all the correct parts and acted mostly like any lad his age.

“Ummm…..so you're saying Drew is really a girl?” squeaked Jenny.

“What I'm saying Jenny, is that Drew is genetically female. Whether or not Drew's core being matches up with the genetics is something we are going to have to discover. And that will largely be the job of Dr. Page. But there are some issues we need to discuss right now regarding that. What if anything are we going to tell Drew? What if Drew's ‘core essence' if you will, is male? What is going to happen Vis a Vis physical development, if the underdeveloped female reproductive structures become active? And realistically, we can't let a child entering puberty be hormone-less. We are going to need to make some decisions there as well. And part of that will depend on the androgen receptor study I ordered. If Drew is also androgen insensitive, then we have another host of issues to deal with; because we will not be able to give him testosterone if that's the case. And Drew's choices become extremely limited.”

“Oh my” uttered Dave “This is so far out of the realm of what we thought the possibilities were…….”

“Jen, what do you think?”

Jenny was sitting in her chair, ashen faced. Drew was really a girl? Was this a nightmare or a dream come true? What had she done to cause this to happen? How would Drew take the news? Should they tell him? Or was that her? Would Drew ever be able to have a normal life? Could Drew (or Gaby) still cycle? And what about Maddy and all of Drew's friends?

Giving her head a shake, Jenny apologized for being off in space. “I was just thinking about all of the things that could happen, and will have to happen, and trying to figure out if there was something I could have done to prevent this…”

At this point, Maggie interjected. “Jenny, there is no blame to be had or recriminations to be made. There is nothing you could have done to prevent this, and it is often at puberty that many of these types of intersex issues are detected. It isn't until there should be development and there isn't, or it's the ‘wrong' type, that we begin investigating. The important thing is coming up with a plan to deal with all of it.”

Karen now spoke up. “This is where it begins to get difficult Mr. and Mrs. Bond. The decision of how much to tell the child. Whether they can psychologically handle the news. And where they fit in on the gender spectrum. And before we can deal with all of the various psychological impacts and arrange referrals for Drew at home, we have to discuss this first.”

“And we need to know how you feel about this news.”

Dave and Jenny were sitting there, looking like someone had whacked them with a 2 x 4. Drew was genetically female! What did that mean for Drew's future, and for that matter, what did it mean for the family? Could Drew even deal with all this, or would it send her into another collapse?

Jenny spoke up. “Drew is my child, my baby, and it doesn't matter a whit what sex he or she is. I love my children and want what is best for them, no matter what. If it's best for Drew to be female – fine. If it's best for Drew to be male – also fine. But I am worried about how she will take this news. Could it send her back into a collapse?”

“I feel the same as Jen does, doctors. It doesn't matter what sex our children are, just that they are healthy and safe. And I worry about the impact of this news on Drew as well.”

Maggie and Karen exchanged a significant look. Both of them had noted Jenny's shift in her pronouns when talking about Drew.

Karen responded to the question. “Well, I won't sugar coat this for either of you. Yes, it could trigger a relapse. But it may also help Drew sort out things that he may have already been thinking about, but hasn't discussed with anyone. My opinion right now is we go ahead with the interview as discussed and we don't even mention this to Drew yet. We need to get a clear understanding of what Drew is thinking before we broach this subject. Once we have interviewed him, and have a better understanding, then the four of us can discuss when, how or even if we will tell Drew.”

“That sounds quite reasonable, Karen. I think you are right in not telling Drew until at least you have had a chance to talk to him and we can discuss it. If you want to show Dave and I where to go, you and Maggie can get started with that, and we'll take it from there.”

With a consensus reached, the four adults left Maggie's office and headed towards Drew's room. As they got closer to Drew's room, Maggie stopped the procession in front of a door. “This is the viewing room for Drew's room. It allows us to observe a patient unbeknownst to them. Very useful at times. Let's go in here first.”

As they entered the room, Maggie pointed out a few things. “To start with I will turn on the speakers in here and activate the microphones in the room. And if you don't mind Dave and Jenny, I'd also like to activate the video camera that you see here. That way Karen and I can review the tapes later to make sure we haven't missed something.”

“We understand, Dr. Macarthur, please go ahead.” replied Jenny.

“Very well, with everything on we can go and get started. There will be times when I'm sure this will be very emotional for Drew, but please bear with us. We are only trying to help Drew.”

And with that Maggie and Karen left for Drew's room.

Walking into the room, Maggie could see the children quietly chatting with each other.

“Good morning, Drew. Good morning Juliette. How are you both this morning?”

“Morning Dr. Maggie. Well, I'm hungry and I think Jules is too. And I'd like to go back to the Walters and go for a ride. But other than that……”

“Well breakfast should be here shortly Drew, and you can eat while we chat. Jules, if you'd like, you can go down to the cafeteria for a bit of breakfast and join us later.”

“All right” Jules replied, “I'll go for a bite, and then be back in a while. Can I phone Mrs. W. and let her know that Drew is awake? They were terribly worried.”

“Certainly Jules. And if you want to tell Drew's friends that he's up and around that's okay too.”

Drew looked at his sister, and squeezing her hand said “Thanks Jules. Phone Maddy too would you?”

“Of course Drew. See you later.”

“So Dr. Maggie, am I going to get my head shrunk today?” Drew asked with a nervous laugh.

“Well Drew, that depends. Know any Headhunters?” Maggie quipped back. “Actually today we're just going to talk. You and I and a friend of mine, Dr. Karen Page. And yes, she's a shrink – just don't tell her I said that, they’re kind of sensitive about it.”

Drew stifled a little giggle. Maggie's humour had struck just the right note and Drew was more relaxed about the whole thing. Her body language became less tense and stilted, and she snuggled down in her bed a bit more to relax. “I heard that Maggie” stated Karen as she walked into the room. She had been listening and waiting for the right moment to enter.

“Just because you saw me reading a book on Voodoo in 4th year doesn't mean I shrink heads. Hello Drew, I'm Karen. Maggie and I have known each other since med school, and she asked me if I could come and talk with you and her. And between you and me, I think she calls me ‘shrink' to get even for the rubber scalpel I slipped her during anatomy class.”

Drew started to giggle. She liked both of these doctors.

In the other room, Dave and Jenny could see the doctors' humour relaxing Drew, and smiled.

“Certainly seem to know how to make a patient comfortable, don't they?” remarked Dave. “Wish we had more like them at home”.

“Yes, Drew seems very relaxed. Oh Dave, I am worried about her though.”

“Well, let's watch and see what we find out”.

Maggie and Karen pulled up chairs fairly close to Drew's bed.

Maggie started things off. “Drew, can you tell me a bit about how ‘Gaby' came around in the first place?”

“Well, Dr. Maggie, it was for a charity ride with mum actually. It was a costume affair. She was Xena, and I was her sidekick Gaby.”

“And how did you feel about dressing like a girl for that?”

“Erm…well I really didn't want to. But I didn't want to let mum down either. And she really, really wanted me to do it.”

“And how did you feel when you were doing the ride?”

“Well, after a little bit, I kind of forgot about what I was wearing because I was concentrating on the ride.”

“And afterwards?”

“They wanted us to stay in costume until after all the presentations. Mum said no problem, but honestly I really didn't want to. And then later, they phoned and mum agreed to have us present the cheque in our costumes to the Children's Aid Society.”

“And how did you feel about that, Drew?”

“I got pretty mad about it. And I said I wouldn't do it. But then dad said I was doing it and that was that. Cuz it was for charity.”

“And then after, we went out to eat, and mum had a different outfit, but there wasn't any clothes to change into for me, so I had to go as ‘Gaby'.

A few tears began to slide down Drew's cheeks “It was almost like they had it all planned and didn't want Drew with them. But I couldn't let them down, could I? And I was supposed to go out at New Years dressed as Gaby again, but I hurt myself. And I'd even asked dad if I could go in another costume, but he said I should go like that, and it would be the last time”

“It's okay Drew. Take your time. We have all the time you need, if you'd like to take a minute.”

Back in the observation room, Jen and Dave were staring at each other. Drew had laid it all out, and there was nothing they could gainsay her on. She was right. After the cheque presentation had been planned. And Dave had said that.

“My God Jen, what have we done? I know we thought it would just be a lark, but Drew really didn't want to do it, and we didn't listen.”

“I never thought he minded that much either, because he never put up much of a fight about it. But I guess you're right – we weren't really listening were we?”

Drew began to speak again. “But thankfully that was it until the Easter disco.”

Karen now took over talking to Drew. “Can you tell us about that Drew?”

“Well, it was actually the girls' idea. They had invited Rhod and I over because they had an idea for the costumes. They wanted to go as Manga characters – Sailor Moon girls to be exact. Rhod and I said no immediately. The girls really, really wanted us to do it. We put a condition on it that I was sure would work.”

Drew sighed deeply as he thought of it.

“And what was the condition Drew?”

“Well, if they couldn't make us pass as girls by the following weekend, it was all off. I was sure they wouldn't be able to do it. I was wrong. We went to the mall, and nobody there figured it out, except Jules. I figured I was free and clear, but Mad said if she wasn't going to tell anyone, we'd still do it.”

“Oh, and Jules had conveniently forgot to tell me that when Mad had pierced my ears there, that she had left sleepers in and the holes wouldn't heal over.”

“When I figured that out later I was quite angry. It was like Jules wanted rid of me too, to be replaced with a little sister. And I have never figured out why Mad wanted me to do it in the first place. Oh and then Jules told the girls she wouldn't tell anyone so I was totally trapped.”

The tears were running freely down Drew's face now. “I don't know why they all wanted me to be a girl! I just wanted to be me, Drew! But I just couldn't bloody say no!”

“Why, Karen? Why would they want me to be a girl? Isn't Drew good enough? Am I, as Drew wanted by anybody? I mean, first mum and dad and gran; and then Mad and Jules and the girls. Then Mr. Wood. Then Brit and Deb. And the Cheer Team. Am I some kind of freak or something? Or do they all just have a really sick sense of humour?”

“It seems like all of them want someone other than me. Well, they want me as someone else would be closer, I guess.”

Just then, an orderly knocked on the door, bringing in Drew's breakfast. “Perfect timing” thought Karen as the orderly came in. “We can give him some time to collect himself before continuing, and Maggie and I can talk to the parents for a few minutes.”

“Drew, we will talk about that. Right now though, would you like us to give you a few minutes, and you can eat your breakfast? I know this is pretty stressful for you, and any time you want a few minutes break, you just have to say so.”

“Yes please, Karen. I would like that.”

“Alrighty then. We'll come back in 10 or 15 minutes. Okay?”

“Okay Karen. Thank you.”

Karen and Maggie went out of the room and into the observation room. As they entered the observation room, Dave and Jenny turned to meet them. There were tear tracks running down their cheeks, and they looked very somber.

Jenny started out “We never knew Drew felt that way about the dressing up. He never said anything. He just did it. And when you hear him tell it from his perspective, I can understand how he feels, and why it appears to him like that. And right now, I don't know Maddy's motivations or Jules' for that matter; but I know we love Drew and that it was never our intention to make him feel unwanted.”

“And it's true that I said he had to do it, “one last time”, because it was a charity event. But now when I think about it, I've made Drew do it many more times since then. And I can see where he would think that I haven't lived up to my word. And I do understand why he would be angry about it.” Dave was trying to be stoic, but you could see how much it was affecting him.

Karen faced the two of them and began to speak.

“Now I know this is hard for you to listen to, but this is simply the early stages, and I am getting the ‘raw' responses out of Drew that I had hoped for. You both made rational decisions that you thought were the best at the time. Don't read anymore into it than that. It wasn't like you set off on a course to make Drew into a girl on purpose, with malice aforethought. As time went on you may have simply been responding to subconscious visual cues that Drew was giving off. Or he may have been giving off subconscious emotional cues of his own, as things happened. There is no blame here, and you have to remember that. Right now the emotional side of Drew is lashing out, because he may be afraid to confront his own feelings on the subject. We will find out more as things progress.”

“This is obviously the major stress point in Drew's life, just as Maggie described to me. The most important thing is to get the feelings out in the open and begin to deal with those, before we sit down with Drew to talk about the physical findings. And I know we are going slow right now, and this may take a little longer than planned to get everything out in the open, but I do believe it is critical to Drew's long term health and psychological development to do it now. And this has to be done to a certain degree at the pace which Drew sets. We will break anytime Drew wants to, so that Drew knows we can be trusted to look out for his needs. I also don't want you to discuss with Juliette what Drew has talked about so far. Like I said, while it may have in fact happened that way, right now this is simply Drew's viewpoint on the matter. We can talk to Juliette later.”

“And it is totally your choice, but you can have Juliette in here with you. As the parents, you are in charge of directing his treatment. Who you choose to share information is up to you. If you feel that the long term relationship between Drew and Jules would not be harmed by her knowing what is being said here, then it may be useful. But I would recommend against bringing Carol and Maddy in here.”

“No, Dr. Page” replied Jenny “This is a private medical issue for Drew. Yes, Dave and I need to know. But certainly for now, no one else needs to be privy to all of the details. We can and will have family discussions about this later, I am sure, but I think it best if it is just Dave and I right now.”

Maggie had been observing Drew while Karen had been talking to Jenny and Dave. Even “his” mannerisms were now very feminine. Of course, having to pass as female simply would have reinforced this, but they were so natural. Maggie was beginning to wonder what kind of visual and psychological cues Drew had been giving off. Just looking through this window, anyone that saw Drew would immediately draw the conclusion that it was a teenage girl in that hospital bed. This could get very complex, very fast.

“Karen? Drew is pretty much finished up, and is looking more composed. I think we should go back and get started again.”

“Right then. Off we go.”

As they came back into the room, Drew seemed to actually brighten a bit. As if by talking to them, someone at least got to hear Drew's side of things. Karen and Maggie pulled up their chairs and Karen once again, began the discussions.

“Drew, the first times you went out as a girl…can you tell me some more about them. I know that you were unhappy with being put into that position, but once you were there, can you tell me how it felt?”

“Well, once mum and I were riding, I guess I kind of forgot about what I was wearing. We were doing a charity race and once I'm racing I kind of zone out, if you know what I mean. It wasn't until after, when they asked us to stay in costume that it hit me again.”

“So it wasn't a continual distraction, and you just went along normally….is that it?”

“Ermm….yes, I guess so Karen. I hadn't really thought about it.”

“But you know, now that I think about it Jules had a lot to do with the second time too. Let me
think….
The first time, when mum and I had to go for pictures, she told mum that she'd make sure she took care of me looking ‘girly' when I was worried about being found out.

And then for the Easter Dance, she told Maddy she wouldn't say anything, even after she'd spotted us; she left those keepers in my ears even after she'd noticed them; and she came over and helped the girls with the costumes. And it was her idea to draw the costume numbers too – and I amazingly got the most femme costume of the lot!”

Drew was getting quite angry now. He seemed to have been tricked into it by some of the people he trusted most in the world.

“And here I thought my own family would look out for me” Drew spat bitterly. “All I was, was a big bloody Barbie doll for Jules. And Maddy apparently. Although I am still trying to work out why she wanted me to dress as a girl all of the time.”

“At the dance, Drew, how did you feel when you were there?” asked Maggie, trying to divert Drew's anger for the moment and keep him talking.

Drew however was not quite ready to be diverted.

“In fact, Jules has figured quite a few times in when I ‘had' to dress as Gaby! She was always ready to keep up the story of Gaby, and embellished it a few times herself. Rotten snot! My own sister!”

Drew's anger began to run down, but his emotions were still running wild. Drew had put together a part of the story he had never seen, or more likely wanted to see, before. That there were people that you trusted, that often had other motives. Karen was saddened to see this particular loss of innocence and to see it happen in such a manner.

“Well Drew,” Karen said in as soothing a manner as possible “We're here for you and for no other reason. And we won't think any different of you no matter what you tell us. You are a very nice person, and I'm sorry you feel hurt by what you believe Jules did to you. Did you ever ask her about it? Did you ever want to know why she was doing this?

I'll play Devil's Advocate here for a minute if I may, Drew. Could she have simply been trying to help out with the costumes for the dance? Might she have been trying to protect you from discovery the first time? To use your Barbie doll analogy, could she have just wanted to see what a little sister might have looked like?

I'm not saying that these were her motivations, but have you thought about them at all? Because I know you are very angry and upset right now. If your thoughts about why she did this are correct, I might be angry in your place too. But we can never know what another person's motivations are until we ask them.”

“I guess you're right doctor, but I do want to ask her and mum and dad about it. It just seems they want to see Gaby more and more, and Drew less and less. But I'm the same person inside, and I don't understand that. What is so different and better about Gaby than Drew?”

“Well Drew if you like we can arrange for some time where you have all of your family there, and we can talk about this some more.”

“I would like that Karen, very much.”

“Okay Drew, let's look at Maggie's question. How did you feel when you were at the dance?”

“Scared shitless if you want the honest truth. But I did dance a bit, and since the girls outnumbered the boys, I got the same catty reaction every time I danced, so I must have been doing okay as a girl. But later, I found out that Maddy had entered me in the contest as Gaby Thomas, and when I won, the cheque was in that name. I ended up having to open up a bank account as Gaby. It was kind of freaking me out. But the dance itself was okay, I guess. Nobody figured out who I was, so that helped.”

“I can understand that would freak you out a bit Drew.”

“Well, it wasn't long after that that people everywhere seemed to be mistaking me for a girl. And every time it happened, nobody would help me correct them. Mum always just said let it go, and I actually think Mad and the girls were encouraging it. They started playing up the ‘Gaby' notion as much as possible.

And then there was the modeling for the school.”

“Modeling? This is the first we've heard about that Drew. Please tell us a bit more about it.”

“Well, Mr. Wood had figured out who I was at the Easter Dance, and a little while later asked if ‘Gaby' would be the model student for the new catalogue. I wasn't really in favour of it, but he was offering a lot of money to do it. I said he would have to clear it with mum and dad. I was thinking that was my way out to be honest. But then mum said it was okay, that it would be my choice. And I couldn't turn down Mr. Wood – or the money. I was really surprised when mum said okay to it. That was where I ended up getting the good fake boobs and the gaff. The people doing the photo shoot makeup and that were ‘aware' and took steps to see that all that was noticed was Gaby.”

“So Mr. Wood ‘asked' you to be Gaby, you deferred the question to your mum, and she told you it was your decision. Is that about right?”

“Yep. Although I don't know what Mr. Wood actually said to mum.”

In the observation room, Jenny was seething. “Michael said nothing about Drew modeling as female! He just asked me if Drew could be one of the models for the new school catalogue. I'll have his bloody guts for garters for this! And then he has the unmitigated gall to say Drew had a choice. Offer a child that much money, and the ability to skip school for a few days and what do you think will be the answer? And afterwards, it was just too late to do anything about it. And now Drew obviously thinks we were promoting him being Gaby!”

Dave grabbed his wife's hand, clutched it and looked at her. “We'll let the solicitor handle this when we get home. Right now let's concentrate on Drew, and do everything we can to help him….or her…or whoever Drew turns out to be. All right, luv?”

“Of course, Dave. It just makes me so angry. And it makes me feel like a bad mother.”

“Drew, how do you feel once you are Gaby? Do you feel out of place, do you feel uncomfortable, are you worried about someone finding out? Can you tell me a bit more about that?”

“Well, certainly to start with I felt very uncomfortable. I thought I would be caught, and my life would be over. Everybody would think I was gay or something. Or I could get beaten up. And that it would finish me in biking…..that I'd be a laughingstock.”

“But I never seemed to get caught. Even my mates from school didn't catch on, which I thought was very weird. And right now, to be honest, it feels completely natural to be Gaby. As far as anyone else is concerned, that's who I am. All the people from home know I'm Drew, and are going along with this, and Brit and Deb and Miss Bell haven't told anyone obviously, so everyone here thinks I'm a girl. Well except you Maggie, and Erin – she knew that Jenny Bond only had one daughter and had a son Drew that was Junior Champion.”

“And I guess that's part of what's confusing me right now. Where does Drew leave off and Gaby begin? Or vice versa for that matter? It seems to all be blending together and somehow it feels like I'm losing part of me. I mean how long can this keep going? Sooner or later someone will find out and something bad will happen. And I'll be left standing, looking like some sort of freak, and not getting any help from anyone. And it seems to me that everyone is trying to push me one way, all for their own hidden reasons. I just want to be Drew!”

“Okay Drew, I can understand your reasons for feeling the way you do. You are feeling pushed, but have no way out, and no one is listening to what you are saying. Is that about it?”

“Well, yes. It is, kind of.”

“Okay, so then who is Drew? What are the qualities that make Drew Bond Drew? And I'm going to ask you to do something for me here. When you start describing Drew, leave out any reference to gender. Tell me who Drew is without saying him or her.”

“Well okay doctor….it seems kind of silly, but okay.”

“Let's see….Drew is a nice person, has good friends, likes to help others, is a good cyclist – Jr. National Champ actually, loyal, a bit on the small side though. Drew wants people to …..wants to be liked by people, wants to be National Champion someday, and maybe Olympic Champion; wants to get married and have children, Drew is rather shy, does okay at school, gets along with most everyone………ummm….that's all I can think of for now doctor.”

“Very good Drew. Now tell me, could any or all of those descriptions apply equally to a girl as a boy?”

“Well yes, I guess they could. But what has that got to do with anything?”

“Well Drew, the way you described yourself to me, I could have been listening to a description of a boy or a girl. You didn't describe Drew as being macho or feminine, you didn't describe attributes that were distinctly more in the masculine realm or more in the feminine realm. You described Drew as you see Drew right now. And it is a good description. What I was getting at, is that either as Drew or as Gaby, the attributes are the same, aren't they?”

“I guess they are. I hadn't thought of it that way.”

“So when people look at you, whether dressed as Gaby or not, they sometimes see a girl – correct?”

“Umm – yes.”

“Listening to that description can you maybe see why?”

“I guess so.”

“Okay . Well can you tell me what gender Drew Bond is?”

“Well I'm a boy then, aren't I? I have all the proper parts! What, do you think I'm gay or something?”

“Not at all Drew. What I was trying to get at, you have partially answered.”

“Huh?”

“You are thinking of gender strictly from the aspect of the physical body parts. Would that be correct?”

“Well, yes. Doesn't everybody?”

“Actually Drew, the physical attributes are only a small part of what make up gender. Equally, if not more important, is the way you are ‘hard-wired' if you will. I have known people that on the outside were fully female, but you would never have mistaken them for anything other than male, under any circumstances except if they were undressed. Likewise, I have known big, macho Special Forces types that have been totally female inside, and were simply doing the super-macho things to hide and deny it to themselves. Gender is a much more complex thing than simply what you look like from the outside.”

“And then there are intersexed people.”

“What's intersexed Karen?”

Well, intersexed people are people who look outwardly like one gender, but internally, and genetically they are the other gender. But sometime during the mother's pregnancy something has occurred to make it appear differently. In some cases, children are born with both sets of genitals.”

“And there is another type of disease that predominantly affects males, which doesn't allow them to develop like males. That is called Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome. Androgens are the male hormones. Some males develop being partially to totally insensitive to them. The degree of insensitivity will determine how much, if any, they will develop like a standard male. I guess one way to say it is it would be like being allergic to testosterone – anywhere from a mild allergy to a severe one.”

“So, you see there are lots of different avenues to gender, Drew. The ‘bits' are simply one of many indicators.”

“So, when I asked that question, I wasn't trying to be silly or condescending or anything like that. I was curious about how you feel in terms of your gender.”

“I'm sorry Karen. I just thought you were having me on.”

“But to be honest I just feel like me. Believe I'm a boy, because I have the right ‘bits' and that's what I've always believed. It wasn't until things started happening this year that I even thought of anything else.”

“Can I think about that one for a bit, please?”

“Of course, Drew. You tell us what you think when you're ready to. Now Drew, I see it's just about lunchtime. Would you like to take some time to have lunch and we can resume in an hour or so. While you're relaxing and having some lunch, I'll get Maggie to check on the status of when your parents will be here.”

“Oh, if you could please, Karen. I really wish they were here. And I am a bit hungry too, I guess. I never realized that talking could make me hungry.”

“All right. We'll get lunch sent in and see you in about an hour.”

As Karen and Maggie left the room, Drew was left to think about what they'd talked about that morning. Up until now, as far as he was concerned, he had always been a boy. And he'd always assumed that it was merely the physical which decided girl or boy. He hadn't known about any of the other stuff Karen had talked about this morning.

Drew had a lot to think about. He started thinking about how his body was developing, more like a girl's than a boy's. And he started thinking about the iron pills he was on – and the comment about young girls getting them during puberty. From there his mind flitted to other thoughts – how so many people automatically took him to be a girl; how he seemed to slip in Gaby mode so easily, how much like a girl he really looked like when he was Gaby, and how people related to Gaby and to Drew.

It was funny, he thought, that his life as Gaby was fuller somehow. He seemed to do more than just cycle – although that was always his main focus, there was the Cheer Squad, all of his friends (at least all of them that were in on the secret) treated him just as they had before and maybe even a little better. All of the girls treated him like an equal. Yet all of the boys, with a few exceptions, didn't even notice him. He would never be a standout on the rugby pitch or anything like that, and besides, that wasn't his thing.

It was really the trying to live two lives that really was the problem. Yes, he'd said many times that he was never going to be Gaby again. Yet, how often had it happened? And why did he so easily let himself be talked into being Gaby? And was his body sending him a message he just hadn't figured out yet? Was there a reason it was so easy to become Gaby? He really wished mum and Dad were here. They could help him with some of this. He just wanted to be Drew. But like he kept asking himself over and over when this all started, who was Drew and who was Gaby? Were they the same person? Could Drew be Drew and Gaby at the same time?

And what if he were a girl? How would that affect his cycling? Well, he could certainly be on the women's team then and follow after mum. But what would dad say? After all he was born a boy, wasn't he?

Were they all seeing something that was invisible to him? Was he giving off some kind of female aura or something? All questions he could ask Karen and Maggie later.

Just then, his door opened and he looked up. There was lunch. Well to a hungry teen, lunch took priority over just about everything. Even if it was hospital food. Deep thoughts could wait. Lunch first, then maybe a little nap before Karen and Maggie came back.

Chapter 7

Maggie and Karen were in Maggie's office, having a bite of lunch and discussing Drew's case.

“Well Karen, any surprises so far?”

“Not really. Drew has a very simplistic view of gender, which is normal for children at that age. I was a little surprised to see that Drew hadn't put some of the puzzle pieces together vis a vis Maddy or Jules until this morning though. Mind you, he's been brought up in a family that has been loving and trusting – there would be no reason to suspect that anyone had ulterior motives.”

“And I did notice a couple of times where he said that once he was out and about as Gaby, that he essentially forgot about what he was wearing and just went about life. This takes him out of the realm of the casual crossdresser or the transvestite completely. Drew is acting very much like a pre-op transsexual well into their RLT.”

“How so, Karen?”

“Well, over time, as the person gets more and more comfortable in their true gender role, they tend to just go about daily life – they no longer consciously think about what they are doing – like how they are dressed, how they walk, how they talk, etc. Drew seems to be very much like that when he becomes Gaby. Although having to do it for 6 weeks solid would certainly help do that, most crossdressers couldn't have pulled it off for this length of time. So it certainly has me thinking as to where on the gender continuum it is that Drew fits in.”

“And it seems to come so naturally for Drew. The physical cues are certainly there – and we now know why that is – but so are all of the movement cues, and a great many of the socialization cues. Drew's speech is certainly more like that of a young woman than a young man as well. Even if Drew identifies male, will he ever be able to have a male life? I'm not sure he would.”

“Mind you, F to M transsexuals have been getting on with life for years. Even if the surgical results are less than stellar. But, there may be some options for Drew, however limited they may be, if a male identity is where Drew ends up.”

“I really think that we need to start probing more into Drew's concepts of gender and how and why he wants to present as he does. What is the motivation, Maggie? Is Drew truly gender conflicted, as it appears, or is Drew merely trying to please everyone else?”

“Good questions, Karen. My own take on it is likely a combination of the two, but I think we may also be missing something. I just don't know what it is at this point. But, we should head back and get back to it. I don't want to delay Drew's reunion with Dave and Jenny any longer than is absolutely necessary.”

With that, the two doctors packed up their notes and headed back towards Drew's room. On the way by, Maggie poked her head inside the observation room and told Jenny and Dave they were about to start up again. As they walked into the room, Drew was asleep – for all the world looking as peaceful as any of them had ever seen.

Maggie thought to herself “The one place Drew is truly at peace – in sleep. No worries about Gaby, or living up to other people's expectations or anything else.” And she thought it sad that this was the only place Drew truly was at peace. It didn't seem fair that a child that age should be carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.

She reached over and gently tapped Drew's shoulder. “Drew, can you wake up please? We'd like to talk to you some more if we could.”

Drew stretched, cat-like and yawned as he began to wake up. “Oh, hi Dr. Maggie. I guess I fell asleep. Must be kind of tired I guess.”

“That's quite all right Drew. You've been under a lot of stress, and that can wear a person out. Do you think you and I and Karen could talk some more now?”

“Sure. It's kind of nice to be able to talk to someone about this actually. It feels good to get it off of my chest.”

“Okay then, why don't we pick up where we left off. Karen, did you want to start?”

“Certainly” replied Karen. “Drew, before lunch, we were talking about gender, and all the different ways gender can be expressed. When I asked you what gender Drew was, you replied but then asked if I thought you were gay or something. Can you tell me what you meant by that?”

“Well……. Aren't transvestites gay men who like to dress up in women's clothes? Cuz I'm certainly not one of them. I don't like boys that way.”

“Ummmm…. no Drew that's not really what a transvestite is. Would you like me to explain what some of those terms you seem to have read about really mean?”

“Yes please Dr. Karen – what I read was very confusing”

In the observation room, Jenny looked at Dave.

“Oh my, Drew is very confused about a few things. Funny, I remember him making a comment about transvestites, but not really much more. I'm afraid I didn't stop to explain things either. And he's never asked about anything like this before. I didn't really think he knew anything about it. Although if he went searching on the internet, who knows what he may have found.”

“Well Jen, he has obviously been curious about this, but he said nothing to me either. Mind you, I don't really know a whole lot about it all either. But that sort of thing is always frowned upon by most people, so lord only knows what Drew thinks of himself if all the information he's been getting has been from the papers or the like.” Dave sighed and continued “And for whatever reason, he didn't seem to trust us enough to ask about it. What does that say?”

“Well luv, let's see where the doctors take this and what they find out from Drew.”

Back in Drew's room Karen was collecting her thoughts and deciding how to approach this with Drew.

“Drew, before we discuss those terms, I think I need to explain a couple of other things. First off, gender orientation and sexual orientation are two different things.”

“What do you mean Dr. Karen?”

“Well……..I guess in the simplest terms, gender is who you are; and sexual orientation is who you love. And right now, we – that being the medical community – generally believe that both of these things are ‘hard-wired' into a person at birth. And that this hard wiring overrides what the body may tell you. For instance, I have always known I was a girl inside – that is the way I am hard wired. But there are many people out there whose internal hard wiring does not match their bodies. And since there is no way to change the hard wiring, the only way to help these people is to help them adapt the outer shell – their bodies – to the internal wiring. And to be honest, all of the social conditioning in the world does not change the reality of who they are inside. There have been cases of boys who have been raised as girls, and vice versa; where years later these people change back to who they are. Their internal wiring said to them ‘No, this is not who I am'.”

“Sexual orientation, on the other hand, is really about who you love. Who you are physically attracted to, and who you feel happiest being with.”

“There is no right or wrong here Drew. Yes, there are those who believe that if you are born with a female body you are a woman for all time. And born with a male body you are a man no matter what. But it is my opinion, and the opinion of many in the medical community that this is simply not the case. That there are cases where this simply does not fit.”

“And in terms of sexual orientation, there are also many who believe that being gay or lesbian is just simply wrong. Some believe that for religious reasons, others for other reasons. Much of this depends on your own belief system.”

“Dr. Karen, do you believe that being gay or lesbian is wrong?' came the timid question from Drew.

“Well Drew, I try not to bring my personal beliefs into by professional life. I think that is up to each person to decide for themselves. But I think you would be better asking yourself the question ‘If I fell in love with a person, truly in love, would it matter if they were male or female?' Your answer to yourself is what counts.”

Drew thought for a moment. “I think I need to think about that one some more too Dr. Karen.”

“That's fine Drew. These are not easy questions, and many people spend years trying to figure them out. I wouldn't expect you to have a quick answer to them.”

“But to get back to the explanations – now don't worry, there won't be a test at the end of this. I only do that to my students.”

Drew tittered. He really liked Dr. Karen and they way she made him laugh. Drew felt he could tell her anything.

“Okay, so you know that homosexual means to love another person the same gender you are. Heterosexual means you love another person of the opposite gender. So let's start with the term you used – transvestite. A transvestite is generally a heterosexual male who gets sexual pleasure from wearing women's clothing. Do you think that applies to you? Do you get sexually excited when you wear girl's clothes?”

“No, it's not like that Dr. Karen – they feel good and they're comfortable, but they don't make me feel like that.”

“Okay Drew, so then do you think you're a transvestite?”

“Errmmm, no I guess not.”

“Okay, so let's move onto another term you have probably heard ‘Drag Queen'. Have you heard that one before Drew?”

“Umm, yes. Yes I have.”

“A drag queen is generally, and I will only say generally, a gay male who dresses in women's clothing for the shock factor or camp factor. It is often perceived by many as a parody of society and the way they try to pigeonhole people into being simply one thing or another. Many drag queens do have a feminine side that they express in this manner, but they do not dress this way all the time, and it is generally not for sexual purposes. Although there are many gay men attracted to drag queens in a sexual manner as well. I don't think that one applies to you either Drew.”

“Most definitely not doctor.”

“Okay, here is another term. ‘Cross dresser'. Again, mostly males although there are some women that cross dress as men. These are, speaking in terms of the men, men who have a strong feminine side and need to express it. They do it through dressing as a women. Not to be a parody or a joke or anything like that. Simply to express a side of themselves that demands expression. And again, not all of the time. And like the transvestite are generally heterosexual males. Most of the time they present as males – at work, at school and the like – but there are times when they feel they have to express their feminine side. Many times more often than the transvestite and in most cases it is not for sexual fulfillment – there is often no sexual component to it whatsoever.”

“And then there is what we call the ‘transsexual'. These are the people whose bodies do not match their internal gender. If we were to use me as an example, I have the hard wiring of a woman, but would have the body of a man. These are people who are often terribly conflicted. They feel like they are the only one in the world to feel that way. They are very afraid to tell anyone, because they fear they will be rejected, or hurt, or excluded from society because people will think them freaks. These are people we try to help adapt their anatomical sex to their hard wiring. It's not perfect, but right now, it is what we can do to help.”

“And of course, there are intersexed people. We talked about that this morning. There are many that don't even know they are intersexed until puberty hits and they start developing contrary to the gender they have been raised as and appear to be.”

“Is that what is happening to me doctor? Am I like that?”

“Well Drew, that's part of what we are trying to find out. That's why we are running all those blood tests and the like.”

“Oh.”

“Now I know I have just given you a whole lot of information. Did it all make sense to you Drew? Is there anything you would like to be explained further?”

“Well doctor, how would they not know you were intersexed when you were born? Earlier you said that intersexed people are often born with both sets of parts?”

Karen paused for a moment. “Well Drew, sometimes they are not – in fact many times they are not. Often the only indication would be from what internal organs they have or if a DNA test were run at birth. In many cases the outward appearance gives no clue. And while it might be nice to be able to run DNA tests on all children at birth – it would be dreadfully expensive. And it is only in the last 20 years or so we have been able to run DNA tests at all.”

“Well how could you tell if their internal organs were different?”

“MRI's can do it. In the past there would be apparent males who began to menstruate which was the first indication. And at that time it would take surgery or dye X-Rays to find out.”

“Oh.”

“So would I have to give everything up if it turned out I was a girl inside? What would happen to me and Maddy? What would Mum and Dad and Jules think? They'd think I was some kind of freak wouldn't they? And what would happen to cycling – they'd throw me out!”

Drew began to cry. “They'd hate me! I know it!”

Maggie came over to Drew's side and held his hand. “And why do you think that Drew? Why do they think they'd hate you?”

“Well, they wouldn't have their son anymore would they? It might be all right with mum, but what about dad? He…he would be so disappointed. I …I….I…don't want to hurt them like that. I love them so much.”

And in a very small voice Drew said “And I don't know if they'd love me any more if I wasn't who I am now.”

Maggie sat down on the edge of the bed and Drew threw himself into her shoulder, crying and hanging on for dear life.

“Shhhh, Drew. It will be all right. We will do everything we can to help you.”

Maggie sat with Drew as he sobbed. She knew that they had to bring Jenny and Dave in very soon. She looked at Karen and mouthed the word ‘sedative'. Karen nodded and went out to get a mild sedative for Drew. Once out of the room she went to the observation room to have a word with Jenny and Dave before she went back. Jenny was crying and holding on to her husband; and Dave was trying to be strong for her but looked like he was ready to fall apart.

“I know this has been very hard to watch. It is very hard for me as well when I see a child in such pain. Once we give Drew a mild sedative, I would very much like to sit down with the both of you so we can talk about today so far”

Jenny sniffled “I need to be with my baby doctor. He needs me.”

“I know Jenny, and that will happen soon. I promise. I think Drew will need all the support he can get very soon. I do need to talk to Drew a bit about how he feels inside about being Gaby and being Drew. I think he needs to rest for a while before we do that, but right after that I think we should have you go in to be with him. Is that all right?”

“We said we wanted you to do whatever it took to help our child doctor” replied Dave “And if you think that is best we will abide by it. But we really want to be with Drew soon.”

“Right then, let me go and get something to help Drew sleep for a bit and then we can talk.”

With that Karen left the room. After getting the sedative and a glass of water, she went back to Drew's room.

“Drew? Drew could you take this please. It will help calm you down and help you fall asleep. I think you should rest for a bit before we continue. Okay?”

Disengaging himself from Maggie, Drew looked up. “Okay Dr. Karen. I think I would like to rest too.”

Taking the glass of water and the pill from Karen, Drew swallowed the pill and lay back in bed.

Maggie got up off the bed, and ruffling Drew's hair lightly she told him to rest for a while and they would be back in an hour or two. As she and Karen left the room. Maggie dimmed the lights so Drew could rest.

Maggie and Karen went back to the observation where Jenny and Dave were waiting.

As they went in to the observation room, they could see how distraught Dave and Jenny were. The revelations from Drew so far had rocked them.

After Karen and Maggie had sat down with them, Karen began.

“Well, in many respects it is what I was expecting to this point. Drew is dreadfully confused, because both his body and social circle are giving him cues or feedback that don't correspond to what he sees at this point. In his words ‘since I was raised as a boy and have boy bits'………but you can also see Drew has been thinking a lot about this. And the issue is exacerbated by his overwhelming desire to please everyone around him. And you can see that in his day to day life and what he has said to us. Maddy, school, cycling, the Cheer squad, etc. He is doing his level best to satisfy all of those vastly different endeavours where some are as Drew and some are as Gaby. And essentially, over time, it has caused this ‘event'.”

“Like I said, you can see by the questions Drew has been asking us, that many of the things we talked about so far today are things that in some manner, Drew has been trying to address in his own mind.”

Jenny looked at Karen and Maggie. “How can you say this is expected? Do you see a lot of children like this? Does no one see their pain?”

“Obviously we didn't” she said bitterly.

“Jenny, to answer your questions – yes we see a lot of children like this. The vast majority of them are transgendered children who are confused, fearful and feel like they are the only one. They feel like a freak and feel dreadfully alone. And they don't feel like they can tell anyone, because they will become outcasts, pariahs within their own social group. They fear rejection by their own families. And sad to say, those outcomes are all too common. Many parents cannot handle the paradigm shift in their reality, to where their son is now their daughter, or their daughter now their son. And most of these children learn to sublimate their feelings very early, because they ‘know' that somehow they are different. So they do what it takes to fit in, no matter the personal toll it takes on them.”

“To a certain degree that is what Drew is doing – he is trying to straddle both worlds – fitting in with his social circle in one manner, and his family in another. A breakdown like he has had I would have expected much sooner, to be frank. I think it is a testament to the love of his friends and family, and the strength of character Drew has from you two that he lasted as long as he did.”

“And unless you knew what you were looking for Jenny, you wouldn't have seen it. Transgendered children become masterful at only letting the world see what they want them to see. Fear of rejection, reprisal and violence make them very wary.”

“Drew is now in a very unique, yet potentially dangerous position. He could in fact become Gaby full time – the genetics have proven that – and compete as a cyclist for the women's team. But in doing so, that could open him up to ridicule, and even reprisals of some sort from the ‘less informed' sector of the populace. The fact that many of the cycling world already believe Drew is Gaby would make it easier in many ways, but make no mistake, there are dangers as well.”

“Well,” Dave interjected “perhaps Drew would have to give up cycling for a little while.”

Jenny looked at him. “Do you think that would really happen luv? Could you go to Drew and tell him to give up his dream and his passion? What would that say to Drew? It would only confirm some of his deepest fears I would think.”

“But…but…it would be for his own safety, for his own good!”

“Would it dear? Or would it be more to ease our own fears? Drew not being able to cycle? We might as well tell him outright at that point that his life is wrong. And it's not. This is a problem we have to face head on luv. And we can't tippy-toe around it.”

“I know, I know. But the thought of our child being subject to abuse and harassment makes me very uncomfortable and very angry.”

“And so it should Dave” interjected Maggie. “You have the opportunity, right here, right now, to support your child in the most basic of human rights – the ability to be themselves, whoever that may be. I would have said responsibility, but too many parents abdicate that responsibility. Not that I think you and Jenny are like that – but it is now time to think about Drew first and foremost.”

“You're right Maggie” Dave replied “It really is about Drew's needs and not about our desires.”

Karen then spoke up. “Here is what I would like to propose, so that we can get you in there with Drew as soon as possible. After Drew has had a bit of a rest, I would like to talk to him about some of the questions I have asked him, and about some of the things he wanted to think about. Once we have done that, Maggie can tell Drew that she has heard from the two of you, and that you are on the way over and should arrive later this evening. That will give us some time to discuss the results from the afternoon session and will provide Drew with the security that you're on your way. I do want you to be prepared though – the next session will likely be very emotional and Drew is going to be confronting some of his own demons. But in the end, I think we will be well on our way to a healthier and happier Drew – or Gaby – whichever that happens to be. And it could be a female Drew as well……Drew may not want to be ‘Gaby', just Drew, male or female.”

“That sounds good Karen – I really want to be with my baby right now” replied Jenny. “My poor little lamb…….not knowing which way to turn, and us being no help to the situation.”

“Drew did say he was going to want to talk to the family about the number of times he was ‘made' to be Gaby. And as you saw he is fairly angry about it. So please try and prepare yourself for that as well. And you will need to talk to Juliet and prepare her as well.”

“Maggie, while Drew is asleep, wouldn't it be a good time to get him down for a more detailed MRI? That will give us a few more answers as well, and we can check on the results of the androgen receptor study. If there's ‘bad' news to deliver, we may as well do it all at once, once Jenny and Dave have joined Drew.”

“Yes Karen, now would be an excellent time – I'll arrange it right now.” And with that, Maggie headed off to call Dr. Winters.

“Hi Cindy? Maggie here. Can you do the detailed MRI of Drew's abdominal area right away? We've given him a mild sedative due to some anxiety, and we thought this would be a good time to do this. How long do you think it would take, and when can you do it?”

“Well Maggie, we could do it in about 15 minutes and it would only take about ½ an hour. If that works for you, I'll send an orderly up right away.”

“That would be great Cindy. I'll just go tell Drew, and then head back to the parents. We're in the observation room beside Drew's room. Please don't let him know we're there – he doesn't know his parents are here yet.”

“Right – I'll tell the orderly, and I'll do this MRI myself. I bring you the results as soon as they're complete – shouldn't be more than an hour after the scan.”

“Great, thanks Cindy.”

Maggie went in to Drew's room. She could see he was just on the verge of drifting off to sleep.

“Drew, we need to send you down for a scan, as the machine is free now. I know you're sleepy from the pill we gave, and that's alright. The scan we are doing means not moving for about half an hour, so if you're sleeping, that just fine.”

“OK Dr. Maggie” drowsed Drew. “If it will help sort things out I'm all for it.” And Drew drifted off to sleep.

Once back in the observation room, Maggie remarked “Well we have an hour or a little more, so shall we break for coffee and meet back here in an hour? That will give Karen and me some more time to go over our notes from this last session and prepare for the next one. And by the look of things you two could do with a bit of a break as well.”

“Ah, and here is the orderly getting Drew. Let's let them go and then we can leave. Oh, and it's up to you of course, Dave and Jenny, but think about bringing Juliette back with you? Because after our next session, we will decide what we are going to tell Drew, and I think perhaps having his whole family around for that might be a good thing. If nothing else, we can at least arrange for a joint session for all 4 of you to help work out some of what Drew has talked about.”

“Well Maggie, you are definitely right about needing a family session or two” opined Jenny “but I think it may be better for just Dave and I to be there at the first. But we'll talk about it and make our decision before we come back.”

“Well then, let's say we meet back here in 2 hours. That will give Drew time to rest and definitely be back in his room before we come back. Hopefully, about 2 hours or so after that, we can get the three of you together.”

“That sounds good Maggie. And thank you so much both of you for caring about our Drew so much. Dave and I are very grateful.”

“Our pleasure Jenny. It's not often we get the opportunity to help a patient discover themselves in quite so direct a manner.”

Maggie and Karen are in Maggie's office going over all of the test results and sessions to date when there is a knock at the door. Cindy Winters pokes her head in the door.

“Maggie, I have the results of the MRI. Do you have time to discuss them now?”

“Absolutely, Cindy. We're supposed to be going back to talk to Drew soon and we need to talk to his parents about this beforehand.”

“Right then” said Cindy. “Here's the full written report for the file, but I'll give you the rundown right now. The MRI shows a female reproductive system, no male reproductive system, and there is evidence of a vaginal canal – not completely formed, but close. There also seems to be some tissue thickening in the pubic area which would be indicative of scar tissue. A more complete physical exam and some dye X-Rays would probably give you confirmation of that.”

“It is my opinion that we are looking at an intersexed female who was operated on at birth, and the doctors there made the wrong choice. That would explain why the vaginal canal is only partially formed.”

“Oh dear God! I wonder if Dave and Jenny even know. And yes, a physical exam should be enough for me to determine if it's scar tissue Cindy. Could you tell how developed the reproductive system looked Cindy?”

“Well, it looked fully developed and I suspect that Drew's system will start up in earnest within the next 3 months. So I think we have an almost immediate surgical issue here. At the latest within the next 60 days.”

“Oh my. Thanks Cindy for getting me the information so fast. This now puts a whole new complexion on things.”

“Anytime Maggie. That is such a sweet looking child. It breaks my heart that he or she has to go through all of this when it was preventable.”

“I understand completely Cindy. Karen and I had better go over all the options for Drew's parents now. I'll keep you abreast of what's going on.”

“Right then….thanks Maggie. Talk to you soon.” Replied Cindy as she headed out of the office.

“Well Karen, can this get any more complicated?”

“Umm…..do you really want me to answer that Maggie, and risk the wrath of Murphy?”

“No, no….it's just so damn frustrating. Like Cindy said…this was preventable. From birth this was preventable! And dollars to donuts, Dave and Jenny know nothing about this. Some ignorant, backwards, self-important, puffed up excuse for an Ob/Gyn decided they knew best without even investigating, and have seriously messed up this child's life!” raged Maggie.

“Yup. I'd say that pretty much covers it. Do you have an opinion on the doctor that did this Mags?”

Karen's sarcastic wit had always been able to make Maggie laugh a little, and it did so again. It helped defuse Maggie's temper so she could deal with the Bond's properly.

“So Maggie – let's review what we have on the physical side of things. We have a genetic female, with a female reproductive system that is soon to start ‘producing' as it were; who is also androgen insensitive, so no matter what Testosterone treatment is out; and an idiot doctor who essentially mutilated her at birth. We now have to try and explain this to Dave and Jenny without them absolutely going ballistic, for which I would not blame them; and then we have to find a way to tell Drew in such a way as to not cause a complete disassociative state. Does that about cover it?”

“Umm…yes, I guess it does.”

“And on the mental health side, Drew has to deal with how ‘he' feels about being Gaby before we dump any of this on ‘him'. So you and I are going in to a session where for once, we actually have too much information. We have to be careful here Maggie, not to let what we know colour our questions.”

“Too true Karen. Too true.”

“Well we had better go and tell the Bonds what we know, so they can have a chance to process it and get over some of the emotion before they see Drew.”

Picking up all of their notes and test results, the two doctors headed up towards Drew's room.

Dave and Jenny were already in the observation room, watching their child sleeping.

“Drew looks like a little angel when he's asleep, doesn't he Dave?”

“It seems to be the most at peace Drew ever is luv. So how do you feel about what we've heard today so far?”

“Well, Drew is our child. And no matter what that will never change. Whether it's Drew the boy, Drew the girl or Gaby….it matters not to me. I just want our child to know that no matter what, we will love him or her. Without question, unconditionally.”

“I am angry at the school, at Maddy and at us for not seeing what we were doing to Drew. We're all at fault, and there is no escaping that fact. Now we have to see what we can do to help Drew.”

“I am sad and guilty that I wasn't here for Drew over the past months. I feel like a failure as a mother. I should have seen this, but I wasn't there to see it.”

Tears were streaming down Jenny's face now. The guilt and grief were etched in her face. Dave took her in his arms and hugged her to him.

“Luv, you couldn't have known. Hell, I was there every day and didn't twig. You are not a failure. You were trying to protect your family from the horrors of cancer that you thought was going to claim you.” Lifting her chin with his hand so he was looking her in the eye “Remember, YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. We will face this together, like we have faced everything with our kids and we will be there and be strong for Drew. We will not give up on our child, our selves or our family.”

“We will handle this no matter what it takes. The Press, the cycling association, Team Apollonaris, the schools, whoever. And we will do it with dignity.”

A small, tear-streaked smile crossed Jenny's face as she laid her head on Dave's chest.

“You're right my love. And I was a fool to have not trusted the family with this. And likelihood is I wouldn't have tumbled to any of this either. But I still can't help feeling guilty. I am a mother after all.”

Dave chuckled and hugged her to him. He knew now that together they would handle what ever happened. They were together again and a family again, and they would face this, no matter what.

Just then the door opened and in came Maggie and Karen. They had rather somber looks on their faces. First they looked in on Drew, and seeing that he was still sleeping, they went over to Jenny and Dave.

“Well let's all sit down, and Karen and I can go over all the test results and impressions we have gotten from the interviews thus far.”

“I guess I will go first as I have been supervising all the physical tests. As we discussed earlier, Drew is genetically female. This present a whole set of issues that we will have to deal with, with Drew. While you were out and we were taking a break, we had the detailed MRI conducted as we told you. It produced some ‘interesting' results.”

“How ‘interesting' Dr. Maggie?” asked Jenny.

“Well, it appears that Drew actually was born with both sets of genitals. There is evidence of a vaginal canal and surgical scarring, and there is only evidence of female reproductive organs. There are no male reproductive organs at all.”

“WHAT??!!” cried both Dave and Jenny.

“It would appear that the doctors at Drew's birth made a decision and it was the wrong one. The only good thing about it I can say at this point is they did not do a complete job.”

“And why is that a good thing Doctor?” asked Dave.

“Well to be honest, if they had taken the reproductive organs, Drew would not be getting virtually any hormones at puberty. And that could have caused even worse problems than we have now. As well, it would appear that they did an incomplete vaginectomy, which means with the right surgeon, we may be able to give Drew fully functioning sexual organs. Yes, they would be female, but everything would work the way it is supposed to and Drew could even have children if everything works properly.”

“Now I understand both of you are very angry about this and rightfully so. I myself, am down-right pissed off! But we have to play the cards we are dealt. And we will come back to this, but I'll go over the rest of the tests first.”

“The next part of the physical tests was the androgen insensitivity tests. It turns out Drew is completely androgen insensitive, so we no longer have the option of going to testosterone shots to try and give Drew any semblance of a male life.”

“Third thing we need to discuss is the fact that Drew is on the verge of puberty.”

Jenny blanched. “But that means Drew will begin to….begin to….”

“Yes Jenny, that's exactly what it means. And before that happens we HAVE to discuss surgical options.”

“Dave, what Jenny was getting at was the fact at the full onset of puberty, Drew will begin to menstruate. That blood has to have somewhere to go. If not…. well….”

“So, we have limited options and a limited time frame. Best case scenario from what we can tell at this point would be 90 days – worst case, under a month.”

“That's the physical side of things at this point. I'll let Karen take over here.”

“Right” said Karen “now we get to the sticky bit. Drew has been raised as a male, and as such, at least at this point, identifies that way. Interestingly, Drew's socialization is far more androgynous though – and that I see as a benefit in this situation. Since Drew's socialization is somewhat ambiguous, and leaning toward the feminine, it could make for a relatively easy social transition. This all depends on Drew however. If Drew cannot accept this, we are facing some fairly serious problems.”

“In a number of cases, where I have asked Drew questions, he wanted to think about them for a while. This tells me he has been thinking a great deal about his situation, and in talking to Maggie and I, may have gotten some more information that will help him.

“Now through all of this Drew will be looking to the two of you for guidance and support. So before we go in to the next session we need to know how you feel, and what approach you wish to take. Because it is my opinion that Drew will take his lead from you.”

“And yes, most children look to their parents for guidance, but I truly believe Drew needs to tell us what Drew wants and feels about all of this. But I believe, whatever Drew decides, you need to support. Within the limits of what medical science can do to help Drew, at any rate.”

“This will shake the foundations of Drew's core identity, and quite honestly, it could cause a complete relapse. If Drew outright rejects this, he may in fact have another meltdown. Not a pleasant prospect, but one we do have to face.”

“Right now, as it stands medically, the best physical option for Drew is to have the surgery to become fully female. I am still not sure of that from a psychological standpoint. I think that the next interview will be able to provide some answers. I wish to approach Drew and find out what he thinks about what we have talked about so far, and how ‘he' feels inside about the changes that have been occurring. Drew is scared to death of disappointing you two, and if you two were against this, Drew would be as well just to please you. I think it important that none of us try to project what we feel for Drew to pick up. But I also want to say that this will take time, once you get home, with gender therapists from the Portman Clinic in St. George's – they would be the people in England you would need to be dealing with.”

“Further, once we have talked to Drew once more, we will want to get you two in to see him. I know that this will be tough on you, but you mustn't let on that you have been observing – at least not yet. And after you have had some time together, we will come and get you to ‘brief you in' on the situation. Drew will know you are here, which will help his outlook, and then we can sit down and face this together.”

“I have to tell you both, I quite admire the way you two are handling this right now. Were this my child we were discussing, I think I would be trying to tear someone apart with my bare hands.”

“Maggie, Karen - we do feel like that” began Dave. “But we are thousands of miles from home, Drew is lying in a bed in the next room coming apart at the seams, and the doctor who delivered ‘him' died a few years ago. So even if we wanted to get our hands on him, we can't. But most important in all of this is Drew. We need to be strong for him…..ermm…her. You know what I mean doctor.”

“We have thought about having Juliette in the room when we tell Drew everything as well, Maggie” Jenny said. “Right now, we believe it might be best for just the three of us to be there and then we will talk to Juliette after we have worked out some of the initial issues.”

“And we will support our child, doctor. In whatever he or she decides. We love Drew, and want him to be happy. So no matter what that means, Drew will always have our unconditional love and support.”

“Right then” replied Maggie “I guess we had better head back and talk to Drew further. Hopefully a little rest will have helped.”

“Karen, why don't you go in first? I am going to go over to the nursing station and ask Piper to come in about an hour from now to tell me there is a phone call. When I come back in, I can inform both of you that Dave and Jenny are on their way – and that they've landed in Washington and will be here in a couple of hours. That should give us enough time with Drew, and some time to talk to Dave and Jenny before we reunite them.”

“That should work Maggie. Alright, I'll go and get started and see you in a few minutes.”

And with that, they both headed out
.
Dave and Jenny continued watching Drew, each lost in their own thoughts. How would Drew take the news? Could they protect him or her? Which way would Drew decide to go? What about the needed surgery?

Karen walked back into Drew's room. She could see that Drew was deep in thought.

“Deep thoughts, Drew?”

“Well, Dr. Karen – I have been thinking a lot about the stuff we have talked about today so far. And, well…..it's like this. I love Maddy, very, very much. And I'm not sure how she feels about Drew versus Gaby. I mean, if I was a girl that would make us lezzies, I mean lesbians. And I don't know what my family or everyone else would say about that.”

“And…and…ermm….I just want to be me. I want to be able to cycle, I want to have my friends and my family……but I'm afraid if I was a girl they wouldn't want me.”

“I'm comfortable being out as ‘Gaby' although I really think I’d have chosen something else if I’d had the chance. If I was to be a girl, I think I'd still want to be Drew.”

“So you are worried about what others will think and how they might react, but you have kind of decided how you feel then, Drew?”

“Well, kind of doctor. But I suppose some of those tests you and Dr. Maggie are running will have something to say about things, and of course when mum and dad get here, they will too.”

“So Drew, tell me how you feel inside. There is only you and I here. No one else.” With that Karen pulled her chair right up beside Drew and the bed. “I'm here to help you Drew. That's all I care about. To me it doesn't matter if you're a girl or a boy, heterosexual or gay, or anywhere between. I just want to help.”

“Well, remember you asked me to describe myself for you? You know, without using him or her or anything?”

“Yes. You said you wanted to think about it more.”

“I have been doctor. I've been thinking about it for a long time. But you told me some things I hadn't known about or didn't understand before. And the more I think about it, the more I think I've been trying to be both at times. And, it hurts, because I don't think I fit in either place.”

“But it seems like I fit in more as ‘Gaby' than I do as Drew – at least as a girl I mean. And I don't get that. I mean. Like I said, I was born a boy with the right bits, so I don't understand why I seem to fit in better as Gaby. But I'm still racing with the boys and made junior national champion. But lately when I'm out cycling, people mistake me for a girl because of these changes that have been happening to me. I just don't understand it.”

“Well Drew, where do you feel the most comfortable?”

“On my bike, racing.” giggled Drew.

“Well, I guess I deserved that.” chuckled Karen “But you know what I was asking Drew. Are you more comfortable as Drew the boy, or as ‘Gaby' the girl? And remember, those are simply names I am using.”

“Well doctor, to be honest………………”

Chapter 8

“……….I’m not totally sure. In many ways I comfortable as both. Although I do seem to get on better as Gaby, I have to admit. Except for cycling, sport isn’t really my thing, and I seem to be able to relate to the girls better than I do the boys.”

“*Sigh* and if I’m really honest, I have more friends as Gaby. And I find it easier to talk to people.”

“You and Dr. Maggie are really the first two people that I feel comfortable talking about all of this stuff to. I am always afraid that if I start to talk to anyone about it, they’ll think I’m some sort of freak or something. And you understand this stuff – I’m not sure that mum and dad and everybody else will. I mean, I know they understand what a boy is and what a girl is, but what if?.........what if I think I need to be a girl? Would they understand that?”

“And if I did decide that way, what would happen to my cycling? Would I be able to race still, would I be thrown out, what? And what would this do to mum’s cycling career? I mean, she’s Tour champ! Would what I was doing bugger her career?”

Questions were coming out of Drew fast and furious now. Karen felt like the dam inside of Drew that had been holding all this in had finally broken. And that they would finally get Drew to tell them what he/she felt.

Outside the door Maggie had stopped when she heard Karen telling Drew they were alone. And now, hearing all of the questions start to pour out of Drew, she also knew that they had finally gotten past Drew’s reserve. She quietly slipped past the door to Drew’s room and went in to see Jenny and Dave.

Dave and Jenny were watching and listening intently to what was going on. To them, it seemed that the floodgates had opened and all the things that Drew had held in for so long were starting to come out. Through teary eyes they just looked at each other and smiled.

“He sounds like he did when he was 5, doesn’t he Dave? Full of questions and wonder. How did we miss that going away luv? It wasn’t until just now, when I saw his eyes light up when he was talking to Karen that it occurred to me. I haven’t seen him like this since he was little. He used to pester me with questions and point things out like they were the most wondrous things on earth. And I never really noticed that it stopped.”

“You’re right Jen. He has been quiet and ‘distant’ for a long time now, hasn’t he? I think I probably just put it down to him growing up. And if I remember rightly, it was shortly after he started school that he started to get quieter.”

Maggie gently cleared her throat behind them.

“I might have a possible answer for you there. And I only say possible.”

“Was that the year Drew started school?”

“Well yes, Maggie, it was” answered Jenny.

“Let’s sit for a minute and talk about this while Karen is talking to Drew shall we?”

After they sat down, Jen looked at Maggie and asked “Why did you ask if that was when Drew started school? Is it important in some way?”

“Well Jenny, it can be. For many transgendered children, that is when they first truly realize they are different from the other children. I recall one story particularly. The woman in question was born male, a somewhat different situation, but not entirely. She went to school at the age of 5. A little early, but because of when her birthday fell, she was able to start then. Now please remember as well, in this case she was 5 in the late 1960’s – things were done much differently then.”

“Up until that point she had been just another one of the neighbourhood kids, in a fairly new subdivision that was filled with young families. They all played together, boys and girls, and there was never any differentiation. They were all just kids. As she put it, ‘the descent into Hell’ began on the first day of school. First day of grade one, and the teacher, once everyone was in the class decided to do a group activity. And she asked the students to line up. Girls on one side, boys on the other. As she put it ‘her first fatal mistake’. While she chose correctly for her own self perception, the teacher pointed out, in front of everyone, that she was on the wrong side and to go and join the boys on the other side of the room.”

“The laughter and ridicule started then and there. And she was to be with these children for the next 8 years. From that point on, she began to withdraw. She had become a pariah on her first day of school, and that followed her through 8 years of grade school and then, even through high school. And it certainly wasn’t intentional on the part of the teacher. And even my patient was the first to admit that. But it marked her. And scarred her in ways that I suspect she is still dealing with to this day.”

“One ‘mistake’ as she put it, is sometimes all it takes.”

“And just for informational purposes, she has given me permission to tell her story as long as I do not use her name. So I am not breaking any doctor/patient privilege. She hoped that in sharing her story with others, that someone else may be helped.”

“But that is how easily and innocuously it can begin. I actually had the opportunity to talk to her parents at one point, and I shared this story with them. They were horrified, because they never knew. Because she wouldn’t tell them. Because she didn’t trust them enough to tell them was what they were saying. Her mother said she was such a happy child before she went to school, and then the light in her eyes just faded away over time.”

“But I have to tell you that it isn’t that their child didn’t trust them, although there may be a certain amount of that. But a five year old simply doesn’t have the language to describe exactly how they feel. They know they are different, but they don’t know how or why. They don’t know how to describe to someone else what they can’t describe for themselves. And even a five year old ‘knows’ there are some things you don’t tell your parents or anyone else. Don’t get me wrong, I am not ascribing to that theory of the five year old – I am simply describing how they feel. You and Dave are near this woman’s age. Would you have known how to tell your parents this at the age of five? Would you have trusted them with this then? And do you think your average parent would have even heard about it, much less have accepted it in their children?”

Dave looked very somber, and Jenny had tears in her eyes as she struggled to speak.

“I understand exactly how that mother felt, Dr. Maggie, but I also know I wouldn’t have known how to tell my parents at that age. And I am quite certain they would never have heard of such, nor would they have had a clue how to deal with it.”

“That poor woman. And you said she was born male, so she had none of the options that our Drew has, limited though they may be?”

“No Jenny, she didn’t. And she went through male puberty. The ‘ultimate betrayal’, as she calls it. And she ended up being built like a footballer.”

“She and many like her transition when they can. When they can come to terms with who they are versus what their bodies are telling them. Not only do they not get a chance at a normal childhood, but in many ways they are robbed of much of their adult life as well, trying to be the square peg in a round hole.”

“She was actually the first transsexual woman I had as a patient. And she educated me as she was transitioning. I got to see firsthand the toll that it had taken on her, but I also got to see the great joy as she began her life again as the person she truly was – no longer playing a role, and being who everyone else thought she should be.”

“This is where you and Dave will play a critical role for Drew. Drew would do anything for you, as you have heard; and I suspect would make whatever sacrifice it took. In many ways, in this as in much else, Drew is like a lot of transgendered children. They are desperate to have the love and approval of family and friends, and willing to do virtually anything to obtain it. Even if it means submerging who they really are for what they see as the greater good – their family’s approval and love, they will do it.”

“Many of these children feel that the love of their family is contingent upon them playing their assigned role. That there are conditions on the love they receive. Even if this is not truly the case, that is their perception. Unfortunately, too many times they are right in that perception. Many parents and siblings cannot handle the paradigm shift in who their child is ‘all of a sudden’. It’s not really sudden, it’s simply that the child has never shown them that before – it’s always been there, just never been seen.”

“This is where showing the unconditional love for your child will do the most good. Your letting Drew make the decision once he has all the facts, and supporting him or her in whatever that decision may be will go further than anything else to show this. I suspect that Drew will probably turn to both of you and try to find out which way you want him to go. I think if you simply express your love for him, and he knows that whichever way he goes with this he will be supported, then everything will go much better.”

“You’re right doctor” Dave replied “While I admit I would like a son, I would rather Drew be whole and happy. I love both of my children, and it would hurt me a great deal to see them suffering. And that’s obviously where Drew is right now”.

“I agree with Dave, Dr. We love Drew, no matter what the outcome. I just want to help my baby get better.”

Back in Drew’s room, Drew and Karen are still deep in conversation and questions.

“Dr. Karen, you know how you were describing all of those different types of people?”

“Yes, Drew. Did you have some more questions? I know you said you wanted to think about all of that some more.”

“I have been. Now, you said there was a difference between sex and ‘gender’ as you called it. The last few weeks I have been thinking a lot about it, too much maybe. And you told me a lot of stuff I didn’t know before. So, I could be a boy and like boys or girls; or I could be a girl and like boys or girls. Right?”

“Yes Drew, that’s right.”

“So, I could become a girl and still like girls? Be a lesbian?”

“Yes Drew, you could.”

“Oh, okay.”

“So, if I had to be a girl, could I still ride do you think?”

“Well Drew, that would obviously have to be discussed with your parents and the cycling people, but I don’t see why not.”

“Physically, the recovery time from the type of operation that can make that happen is 3 to 6 months. But everyone is different.”

“Hmmmmm.”

Karen was thinking to herself that Drew had already made a decision, but was just trying to reassure himself that what he wanted from life was still possible. Smiling wryly to herself she thought that Drew was going to be very surprised by the results of the physical tests. And she was pleased that Drew had been able to come to grips with how he felt about himself.

“Dr. Karen?” Drew interrupted her reverie.

“Yes Drew?”

“Ummmm…hrmmmm….if I tell you something, will anyone else find out?”

“Well to be honest Drew, that depends. Yes. Doctor/patient confidentiality covers a lot, but since you are also legally a minor I do have to tell your parents a great deal.”

“Even if it wasn’t about me?”

“Well no, if it didn’t concern you or your treatment, I could keep that confidential”

“Okay, let me think about that for a few minutes.”

“Dr. Karen, no matter which way I go, nothing will ever be the same again, will it?”

“No Drew, it won’t. But not necessarily for the reasons you might be thinking. You see, you now have knowledge that you didn’t have before. You know more about who you are, and have made some decisions about that. And there will be more. Life is like that I’m afraid. Every decision we make in life has a consequence, good and bad. And sometimes, not making a decision is a decision in itself. But knowing who you are is a very precious thing. Many people struggle their entire lives trying to figure that out. But I am sorry it took an event like this to bring you to this point.”

“But if what we’ve talked about these last two days is right, this would have happened sometime. Maddy and the gang would have kept up with the Gaby stuff, I’d keep giving in to it or something, and I’d not have had this chance to work it out. But working it out, instead of not deciding, could be good or bad. And I guess that would be by me deciding if it was good or bad.”

“So what if I decided to be a boy, and I thought it was good?”

“Then that eliminates an entire set of possibilities and consequences, and leaves you with the possibilities and consequences of that decision. Until you make another decision. Every decision or choice we make leads to a different set of possibilities and consequences. It is how you deal with these that makes up your life.”

“Now let’s say, for instance, that you had to choose between a date with Maddy and a big race. And you chose the date. The consequence is you don’t race, right?”

“Okay, I see that Dr. Karen.”

“Now what if watching that race, unknown to you, were some cycling team scouts. And by missing the race, they didn’t see you and chose someone else for their team? That’s an unknown consequence. That is part of the choices we make in life. But you see how it could close off a path to you. But it could equally open up a different, but perhaps better path. Perhaps on that date, you and Maddy declare your love for each other and decide to commit to each other for a long term relationship. Again, when you make that initial decision, that’s an unknown.”

Drew is looking a little confused and is trying hard to understand what Karen is saying. He is almost there, but needs a little more help.

“When you played in that badminton tournament with Maddy, did they have a big chart that looked like a bunch of interlocking tree branches, with everyone’s name on it?”

“Yes, there was.”

“So you saw when one person or team advanced, their name was put on another branch?”

“Yeeeesssss” Drew said hesitantly.

“And you saw how certain branches closed off and others opened as the day progressed and as matches were won or lost?”

“Yes. Yes I did. That’s what you’re getting at isn’t it? Every time I make a decision about something, some branches open up and others close off!”

“That’s exactly right Drew. Well done! In a very real way, that is how life works. For every decision and choice you make, some avenues open and others close. And many times we have no idea of what the eventual outcome of those decisions will be. One example is us sitting in this room together. When I made the decision to go to medical school, I simply couldn’t have known that doing that would bring us together in this room at this time.”

“But I am glad I did.”

Drew blushed.

“We all make the best decisions we can at the time given the information we have at the time. To try and guess all the eventual outcomes would land us both in a padded room. And since the decisions of people are interrelated, there is no way to really do that anyways.”

“So whatever I decide could be affected by other things then?”

“Yes they could Drew.”

“I never thought about it like this. But it makes sense the way you explain it. But I do want to talk to mum and dad before I make any decisions.”

“That’s quite alright Drew. Speaking of which, I should talk to Maggie and see if she’s found out when your mum and dad will get here.”

“Would you please Dr. Karen? I really miss them.”

“Okay Drew. Why don’t you have a rest for a bit while I do that? And while I do that, Maggie and I will check on the tests she was running. I’ll pop in and let you know, and then we will let you rest for a while. I’ll be back in just a minute.”

“’Kay, Dr. Karen.”

Karen went into the observation room to find Maggie, Jenny and Dave waiting for her.

“Maggie, what do you say to you and me popping back and telling Drew they’ll be here in about 2 hours? That will give Drew some rest time, and give us a chance to talk to Jenny and Dave about this last session. And I do want to ask you Jenny and Dave about one thing. Drew asked me about confidentiality and what you folks would be told. And he asked me if it didn’t affect him, would I keep a secret essentially. Could you give me about 20 minutes with him to talk to him about that? I promise if it affects what’s going on right now, I will tell you.”

“Well Dave, what do you think?”

“These doctors have been very up front with us Jen. I think that Drew is in excellent hands. Besides, I could murder a cuppa about now.”

“Okay Karen, go ahead. Dave and I will come back in half an hour or so.”

“Great. Thank you very much. I do not want to jeopardize the trust Drew and I have developed. Maggie and I will pop in on Drew and meet you back here in half an hour.”

With that, Dave and Jenny headed for the cafeteria and Maggie and Karen back to Drew.

As they came into Drew’s room, his eyes lit up. News of mum and dad at last!

Maggie came up beside the bed. “Well Drew, I have wonderful news for you. Your mum and dad will be here in about 2 hours.”

Drew wrapped his arms around Maggie and gave her a huge hug. “Oh thank you Dr. Maggie! Thank you! That’s brilliant! I can hardly wait to see them!”

“Okay then Drew, I am going to go and track down your test results, and go over them and then have a bite of dinner. By the time I get back, your mum and dad should be here. Okay?”

“’Kay Dr. Maggie, see you later.”

And off went Maggie. Karen pulled up her chair again and sat down.

“Drew, a while ago you asked me about confidentiality. Do you want to talk about that now?”

“I’ve thought about Dr. Karen, and yes, I do.”

“Remember when we were talking about transvestites and stuff?”

“Yes I do, Drew.”

“Well……well I know a girl who is transsex…transsexual.” Drew said, coming up with the right term.

“I met her through cycling. Her name’s Cat. Well Catrina actually. She’s my age. Mad and I met her at a time trial. She came in to the finish and her legs were cramping, so Mad and I gave her a rubdown. We all went home together after.”

“We all went shopping after that and she figured out Gaby. I was very mad, and said some things I shouldn’t have, but we were able to make up later. Later on, she decided to tell me and Mad. She used the MAD principle as she called it. You know what this is Dr. Karen?”

“Umm….Mutually Assured Destruction I would assume?”

“Yep, that’s it. She knew my secret, so she gave me hers in exchange.”

“Since then, I’ve thought an awful lot about it, particularly as my body was changing. And I thought about how brave she was to go through all of that.”

“You should feel very honoured Drew. Transgendered people very seldom reveal it if they don’t have to.”

“I am just beginning to realize now how much, Dr. Karen. You’re right.”

“She looked like any other girl. If she hadn’t told me I’d never have known. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought that if my body kept changing, that I could possibly do that too, and not look freaky or anything. And then while we were here, I just kept thinking that she has to do this every day too. Live with the fear of being found out, and never knowing if someone found out, what would happen. It helped me a lot. But it finally got to the point where I didn’t know who was who anymore. And I guess that’s when this happened.”

“But Dr. Karen, I also worry that if I were to decide to be a girl, just her hanging around with me could cause her secret to come out. I mean, it wouldn’t be too long before people figure out that Drew and Gaby are the same person, particularly if I keep cycling. And that could really hurt her I think, if it was to get out.

“But I know she wouldn’t look down on me or anything, so once we figure this all out, I know I’ll have at least one friend.”

“Well Drew, that is very thoughtful of you. And I am sure she would appreciate the fact that you don’t want her secret to get out. That is the sign of a true friend, looking out for your friend’s interests.”

“You won’t tell anyone will you Dr.?? I wouldn’t want to give away her secret.”

“Well Drew, we can talk about her with your family without mentioning her name. But you can decide that. If we do, I’ll just say you’ve told me about it, and I know the story behind it. Okay? Otherwise I won’t say a thing.”

“Okay Dr. Karen. That sounds fine.”

“Right then. Try and have a bit of a rest before your mum and dad get here, and I’ll see you in a little while.

“I’ll try, Dr. Karen”

Karen left the room and slowly headed back for Maggie’s office, deep in thought. Drew’s revelation about his friend Catrina in some ways put a whole new perspective on things. Not only did Drew have a friend that would understand ‘her’ fears completely, but could also become somewhat of a mentor to Drew if need be. Interesting thought to be filed for later. It was now obvious that Drew had been thinking about this seriously for quite some time, and she and Maggie had been able to put a lot of information in the proper context for Drew.

She thought she knew which way Drew was leaning, but wasn’t surprised that Drew wanted to talk to his mum and dad first. What would surprise him would be the fact that his parents were going to let Drew make this decision, and they would not give an indication one way or the other about their preferences.

Karen was still deep in thought when she got back to Maggie’s office. Stepping inside, she saw Maggie leaning back with a cup of coffee, and her eyes closed, obviously thinking about Drew’s case.

“Penny for your thoughts, Mags.”

“Hmmm…… oh, just thinking about our patient. And I was thinking about the first transsexual woman patient I ever had. And what a difference one little chromosome makes.”

“And I am not sure how thrilled Drew is going to be with his lack of options, and I know my other patient would have been ecstatic. Very weird how life works sometimes.”

“True Maggie, very true. But you may be surprised by Drew. My gut tells me that Drew has come to some sort of decision. And if I were a betting woman, it will all hinge on whether Drew can continue to cycle. That is a constant in Drew’s life that on either side of the equation needs to be there. Drew is a very complex individual, age notwithstanding.”

“Did you know that he knows a very young transwoman – a girl his age as a matter of fact? Someone he and Maddy met cycling. Who, after having put two and two together in terms of Drew and Gaby, gifted Drew with her secret?”

“Really? That puts an interesting tenor on things. That probably got Drew thinking about his own body changes, and what might be possible.”

“Oh, it did. And Drew feels a great deal of empathy for her situation. And Drew admitted to me that he gets on better as Gaby, which I found to be a very telling admission. But, we should find Dave and Jenny and talk to them so we can give them some time with Drew before we have to broach Drew’s prognosis from a physical perspective, and how he feels about it.”

“True. Let me go and find them Karen, and we can get started.”

With that, Maggie left the room in search of Drew’s parents and Karen sat done to sort out her notes from the last session and prepare to talk to Jenny and Dave.

Karen had just finished making her notes when Maggie walked back in with the Bonds. As she and the Bonds joined Karen at the conference table Maggie asked “Well Karen, shall we get started?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Well, I have to admit this has been a very interesting couple of days. Drew’s case is probably the most ‘unique’ situation I have ever personally run across. Maggie has already outlined all of the physical issues for you – and it is quite a list. And it’s something that we have to deal with expeditiously.”

“The psychological side of things is somewhat murkier. Over the last 2 days, Maggie – and myself – have conducted extensive interviews both with Drew and his friends and those involved in the ‘Gaby-fying’ of Drew over the past while. Everyone seems to have their own motive for Drew becoming Gaby, including Drew.”

“And by that I mean that Drew is trying to find his place in the world, and is trying to fit in, without hurting anyone’s feelings or not living up to their expectations. He is trying to be all things to all people. But I believe where he bumped his nose, so to speak, was when he could no longer differentiate between the two in regards to which was truly the real Drew. He has watched his body begin to develop as a female, when he regards himself as male. But these changes have caused him to question his own reality – ‘Am I a girl?’ ‘Am I some kind of freak?’ ‘What do I want from life?’ and a myriad of other questions. These are very troubling and tough questions for anyone, let alone a child just on the verge of puberty.”

“In all of my discussions with Drew, it has become apparent that he has been thinking about these issues a great deal, and was afraid to discuss them with pretty much anyone. It took an episode such as this to give Drew the impetus to open up to someone, and as you saw, it still took 2 days of fairly intense discussions to get him to open up. Drew’s fears mirror those of virtually every other transgendered child I have ever dealt with. And make no mistake – Drew is transgendered. Drew is struggling with his gender identity.”

“The upside of to all of this is you Jenny, and you Dave. You have supported and loved him through all of this. And I know that both of you feel somewhat responsible for ‘creating’ Gaby. Please don’t. This would have happened at some point – at least in my opinion. In some ways being Gaby has prepared him for the choices he faces now, given the physical issues that we have to deal with. I am not going to tell you that Drew isn’t angry about a lot of this, because he is. And you will have to deal with that with Drew. As will Maddy and most of Drew’s other friends. And it will be tough. And it will be unpleasant at times. But Drew needs to get these feelings out in the open so they can be dealt with.”

“I also believe that Drew is justifiably angry about some of this. There have been people that have been purposely taking advantage of his good nature and using it against him. Drew’s teachers and some of the kids have been the absolute worst about this. It would appear from my perspective that when they have ‘asked’ Drew to be Gaby the request has been couched in such a way to ensure Drew will not turn them down. And some of the other children have seemed to delight in putting Drew in situations where he would have to be Gaby – mostly for their own amusement.”

“Maddy’s motivations are decidedly different from the others however. She truly loves Drew and was trying to find a way to reconcile that with her own sexuality. Not that it has hurt Drew any less, but her motives were really based in a lack of understanding of who she was. But her nature to manipulate others when she doesn’t get her own way needs to be kept an eye on. And I have advised her mother that this is something she needs to keep an eye on as well.”

“I am not going to sugarcoat this for you. It will be immensely difficult for all of you. Even though many of his problems have their roots in the physical body, like all of us he may look for someone to blame – be it God, the two of you, the doctors……whatever the case. There will be a great deal of anger and angst over this. It will run its course. And I am afraid that when we tell him about the genetics and the female reproductive system he has, he will see himself as more of a freak. This will certainly have to be approached with a certain amount of delicacy”.

“I believe, and this is only my opinion, that Drew will likely choose to be female. This is simply a gut instinct on my part right now. If that is the case, then everything we tell her will be received well. If not, well……..”

“But, I believe that being up front and forthright with Drew is also going to be very important. I had initially thought to wait for Drew’s decision before we talked about the physical issues, but Drew is a very thoughtful and mature child for his age. I have now come to believe that it would be better for us to sit down and give Drew all the information to allow him to come to an informed decision. He is going to look to the two of you for guidance, like I mentioned previously, but I think he would feel utterly betrayed if he found this information out after the fact.”

“I also think that we cannot keep the fact that you two have been here for the last day and a half observing the proceedings. Again, this is a trust issue. He will be angry, and I will personally take the blame for that so that he has someone to direct his anger at. We – more specifically I – have kept you away from him when he really needed you. That is what I think he will see at first. And in a limited fashion it’s also absolutely true. But we did need to deal with this and we did need to get him to think about these things himself.”

“Dr. Karen, we know he’ll be angry, but we need to accept responsibility here as well” said Dave. “Drew needs to know that we were watching, yes; but he also needs to hear from us that we thought it was important too, and that we agreed to it. You and Maggie have worked tirelessly these last two days to help our child, and we are eternally grateful. This is not your burden to bear alone.”

“And” Jenny interjected “Drew will take this news from you better if he knows we supported it. He may get mad for a little bit, but it will be better this way.”

“Well Jenny, I’ll defer to you two on that particular question. In this, you certainly know Drew better than I do.”

“Now, as to our approach when we go to see Drew – I would like to give you folks an hour or so with Drew before we come in to start to talk about this. In fact, if you were to ring the patient buzzer when you thought it was time, we could just have one of the nurses come and get us.”

“At that point, I really think we need to come clean with Drew. And let him vent some of his anger about everything. Then we should broach the physical issues with him. I think giving Drew all of the facts, and then withdrawing so the three of you can talk about it would be the best course. Once you’ve had some time to talk about it, we will come back and discuss things with the three of you. I would recommend that perhaps you go and get Juliette and have her here as well, as this does affect the whole family and Drew would certainly expect her to be here.”

“She would certainly feel ‘left out of the loop’ so to speak if she were not a part of this. And this is an issue you will need to face as a family. And I have to say, she has shown throughout all of this that she has shown herself to be a mature young lady and quite capable. And from the interviews we held initially, she feels very badly about the times she tricked Drew into being Gaby. This would give her a chance to tell Drew how she feels. It may be a little rough for her though, as Drew may vent some anger her way as well. “

“Dr. Karen, you are right. She does need to be here for all of this. I made one mistake in not telling my family everything, and I won’t make that mistake again. Isn’t that right love?”

“Yes, Jen. We agreed that we would always tell the entire family what was going on. And this does affect her too.” Replied Dave.

“Well then, I’ll phone Jocelyn Walters and get her to pick up Juliette and bring her over” said Maggie “and when she gets here we can all go in and see Drew. If you two want to head back to the observation room, we’ll bring Juliette there, and then we can go in.”

With that, Karen and the Bonds headed up to the observation room, and Maggie sat down at her desk.

“Now, where is that number? Walters, Walters……….ah, here it is.”

Picking up the phone, Maggie thought to herself that Jos had certainly had gotten a lot more than she had bargained for with this exchange trip. She absently dialed the number and waited – her thoughts straying back to Drew.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jos? It’s Maggie.”

“Oh Maggie – good to hear from you. Is there any news?”

“As Juliette no doubt told you, Drew is awake and coherent. That’s really all I can tell you right now. But, we are ready to re-unite the family, and I was hoping you could bring Juliette here as soon as possible.”

“Oh, absolutely Maggie….I’ll go and pick her up right now. We can be there in about 45 minutes or so. She’ll be so happy to be with them all again. This has been such a trying time for everyone.”

“You are quite right, Jos, it certainly has. When you bring her, please ask her to come to my office, and she and I will head up from there. I don’t know how long we’ll be, but we’ll let you know when we’re done for the evening.”

“Alright then Maggie – I’ll head out now. And we’ll see you shortly.”

With that Jocelyn hung up the phone.

“Gee, you’d think she was in a hurry or something” Maggie said to herself in a very amused tone. “Ah well, it gives me a bit of extra time to go back over all of the test results and make sure I haven’t missed anything.”

Back in his room, Drew was deep in thought, unaware of all that was going on around him. He had been assimilating all of the information Karen and Maggie has been giving him, and thinking about everything he had been asked and how he felt about it.

“So” Drew mused out loud, “I am definitely not a transvestite, I am not a drag queen, and I don’t like boys. So where does that leave me?”

“Am I a transsexual like Cat? I really don’t know. I just feel like me. And ‘Gaby’ just feels like me. And I wonder what all those tests that Dr. Maggie was running will show. I’m sure I’ll find out once mum and dad get here.”

“Do I want to be a girl? Can I be a girl? What will happen to mum and dad? Will I be able to cycle? And how will Maddy and the gang handle this?”

“Oh, sugar! What about school?”

“Drew, you really need to figure some of this out before mum and dad get here. You know they’re going to be worried. Ever since Dr. Sanwari started running tests, my life has seemed to get weirder and weirder.”

“When I dress as a girl, no one sees Drew at all, they just see Gaby. And half the time when I am out as Drew, people just see Gaby. So what does that tell me? I mean, I know my body has been developing like a girl this past while, but that could be caused by a lot of things Dr. Maggie said. And what would mum and dad say if they saw that I’ve been developing boobs?”

“Mum and dad? What about Maddy and Brit? Those two are the ones that ensured that ‘Gaby’ would be here for the whole 6 weeks! And I’m mad at them for it because they never gave me the choice, they never let me be me. And they’ve been setting me up – I mean really, that meet up with Sam – I know that Maddy set that up. I just wish I knew why. And then treating me like shite in public, coz I like girls and don’t go after boys. You know, Mad says she loves you, but then treats you like garbage while you’re here and actually takes part in making this trip bloody hell. Lesbians are bad and are to be ignored and made fun of. And Brit was just as bad. Her and all of her snooty friends. Well, if I’m lucky, I won’t have to set foot in that school again.”

“And Em. Maybe I should just start calling her Rhod at school, and see how she likes being shunned. Bloody cheer team, wish I’d never bloody joined it. But I let Mad talk me round that too. I am glad I told Miss C that I was done with it. And that Gaby would no longer participate. I think she actually understood.”

“Everybody here except for Erin and Diane think you’re a girl and a lesbian. Not like I ever had any opportunity to tell them different. And I guess if I had, they would have thought I was a transvestite or something and treated me worse. If that were actually possible.”

Drew was now out of bed, just wandering around the room and talking. It was a relief in many ways to have all of it out in the open now. No more pretending, one way or the other.

“Jules has been the only one to look out for me here. I was mad that she had tricked me into dressing up, but maybe Dr. Maggie is right. Maybe she just wanted to see what a little sister looked like. And God knows Mad could have convinced her to let it happen too.”

“Sometimes I swear she’d make a bargain with the Devil himself to get what she wanted.”

“But how do you feel about being a girl? I mean, I guess it kinda comes down to that, doesn’t it old son?”

“Stay a boy and look feminine, or be a girl and look normal. Feel like I’m always hiding something, or constantly feeling like my skin doesn’t fit because everyone treats me differently. Mind you, if I was all Gaby, I wouldn’t be hiding anything would I?”

“And you know, if it wouldn’t hurt mum and dad or Jules, maybe being a girl wouldn’t be so bad. With any luck I could do the Tour Feminin at some point, and it would be funny for a girl to be Boy’s National Champion.”

“Yeah, I think I need to hear what mum and dad and the doctors say before I decide, but I wonder if it’s possible?”

Unbeknownst to Drew of course was the fact that Karen and Jenny and Dave had been observing all of this.

“Cat? A transsexual?” Jenny exclaimed “I would never have known.”

“Jenny, Dave…this is what Drew wanted to talk to me in private about. He doesn’t want to reveal her secret, as he doesn’t feel it right for him to tell anyone. And he said he wouldn’t have known either, if it hadn’t been that she figured out who Gaby was and she gifted him with her secret as a Mutually Assured Destruction trust thing.”

“Trans people seldom reveal their past unless they really trust that person, for fear of violence, ridicule and abuse. This young woman Cat showed a great deal of courage in telling Drew. And she could be a good mentor for him, if he chooses to fully embrace the female path. But Drew also worries that association with him could “out” her by association if he goes that way. Drew is thinking of the pain it would cause his friend. A very selfless child, your Drew.”

“You can see that Drew is trying to see a way where it would be possible to be Gaby without hurting her friends and family, and I think we need to help her find a way. Physically, it is really the only option, and I think psychologically, she has made that leap in her own mind over the past few weeks. I believe that it is only her concern for others that is holding her back. That, and her love for Maddy and how Maddy will react given what has gone on here in Grottoes the past few weeks. From the look of it, Maddy was quite fine with Gaby being her girlfriend until she was introduced to some of the intolerance so often found here in America. Now she seems to have gotten it into her head that it’s wrong. And I believe Carol and Maddy will need to work with a therapist back in England to help Maddy sort some of this out.”

“Well Karen, I don’t think it would be an issue for either Dave or I, personally or professionally. We want our child happy and whole. And like Drew was just saying, most people seem to take him for a girl as is. I know it wouldn’t be an issue for the team. What about at work for you Dave?”

“No, no problems for me either. Like Jenny said, Drew’s health and happiness is most important to both of us.”

“We know we have a fairly emergent surgical issue in regards to Drew. Something has to be done about the ovaries and uterus fairly quickly. Jenny, Dave…would you mind if I sent the MRI results and all of the bloodwork, and Maggie’s and my recommendations to a colleague of mine in Montréal? He is an SRS surgeon – Sexual Reassignment that is. I would like him to look over the packet and give me his recommendations, and a timeline of how fast he could see Drew if Drew does go this way. Because we already have somewhat of a good cover story to let the others go home and keep Drew ‘here’ for an extra couple of weeks. And your cycling team is doing a bit of a tour here aren’t they Jenny?”

“Yes Karen, the Team is doing a promo tour here for the next three weeks. And you’re right, we could keep Drew and Jules with us, and simply inform the school that they would be doing home study with me until they return. Introduce them to American history…..I know George wanted Gaby to work with the team. And I know he wants to talk to you too Dave. What sort of timelines are we talking about Karen?”

“Well, for standard SRS, Pierre has his patients at the hospital and residence in Montréal for 2 weeks before sending them home. In many respects this may be easier, in terms of invasiveness and healing, although a little more complex in terms of shaping and detail work. That’s part of why I would need to send him the package ASAP.”

“Well Dave, what do you think?” asked Jenny.

“Hmm…well, like you said, the Team is here doing the mini-tour and if I phone Michael Woods and tell him that the kids will be here with us for another couple or three weeks – assessing our position and Drew’s position in all of this – I doubt there will be any objections. Plus it’s Spring break-up – we have some time just from that. And I suspect that George doesn’t simply want to say hello to me. This could provide us all with some much needed family time. And besides, I would rather not subject you to another transatlantic flight so soon.”

“And didn’t Drew say he was supposed to race this weekend? With the local Grottoes team? It would probably be easy enough to slip away after that to Montréal after that if need be.”

“That’s true my love, he did say he was supposed to race. And you know, I just recently realized I have never actually seen him race. And I would love to tell him I am here to watch him race. Well…him or her. The mini-tour just happens to be convenient.”

“All right Karen, please contact him and send all the information. I think we need to know what all of our options are, so we can properly discuss this with Drew. When that information comes back; Dave, Drew and I can sit down and discuss it together.”

“Right then, let me slip down to Maggie’s office and get the wheels in motion. I’ll be back shortly.”

With that, Karen left the observation room to get that ball in motion. She was thinking how much of a difference a pair of proactive parents make. A set of parents that are more concerned with their child’s welfare than how this might affect them personally. A refreshing change from some of the families she’d had to deal with. And if they handled this right, there might just be a wonderful outcome for everyone.

As Karen walked into Maggie’s office, she was thinking of the paperwork she needed to send to Montréal – the MRI results and the report from Cindy; the blood work, genetics and androgen receptor study; and her psychological assessment.

“Maggie, do you have all the physical findings in a neat bundle that I can ship to Montréal? I want to send everything including my psych assessment to Montréal for review by an SRS surgeon there. I think we need to find out exactly what can be done, how soon, and how privately.”

“I thought you might want the surgical consult immediately Karen. Here it is, the complete file, including the medical records sent over from England, Cindy’s and my reports – everything. This should do the trick. You will of course let me know what the surgeon has to say.”

“Of course Mags, and thanks. I’m going to get your receptionist to fax everything to Montréal while I am phoning Pierre. I’ll join you back upstairs after I do that.”

Just then there was a knock at the door.

“Ah, that must be Juliette” said Maggie. “”Let her in on your way out please, Karen?”

“Sure, see you shortly.”

Karen picked up the bundle and headed for the outer office. Opening the door she showed Juliette in and told Jules she would join them all shortly.

“Ah Jules, glad you’re here. Why don’t you and I go up to where your parents are? Karen will join us right away, and then we can go and see Drew.”

“Oh yes, please. Is Drew okay? Is everything going to be all right?”

“Well Jules, I think so, but we’ll all discuss that together, okay?”

Once everyone had convened in the observation room, Karen was the first to speak.

“Jenny, Dave…like we discussed I have sent everything off to Montréal for evaluation. When I talked to Pierre and gave him a brief rundown, he said that he would make himself available for this whenever we needed him. We just need to give him 24 hours notice to re-arrange his schedule.”

“And Jules? You were at school today. Can you tell me how Drew’s friends reacted to him being in hospital? And do you know what was being said? Whether it was about Drew or Gaby?”

“Well anything that was said was about Gaby. No one from here seems to know any different, so I don’t think Brit has said anything. Not that I think she would after the rollicking Mr. and Mrs. W. gave her and Deb.”

“Most of the gang from Warsop was just treating it like another day, though. Which I found a little odd. It was like ‘Oh, Gaby’s sick and in hospital – okay’. Maddy was very quiet and Em didn’t say anything either. It was rather strange. But given the way she’s been treated here I wasn’t all that surprised I guess.”

“Could you explain that a little more, Jules? Drew made reference to it a couple of times, but didn’t get into any great detail.”

“We-ell. It all kind of started with Brit I guess. Besides making sure that Gaby was the one that had to be here, I mean. Early on, one of the boys was trying to get ‘friendly’ with Gaby, and Brit made a comment like ‘Don’t bother – she only likes girls’ and then she laughed. After that, things got rather unfriendly at school. I heard her called lesbian, and dyke, and other things; and people started avoiding her and not including her – including everyone from Warsop. Gabs said she overheard Brit one day on the phone saying to one of her friends that she knew that they didn’t want Gaby hanging out with them. I think the only time Gaby was happy here was when she was out on the bike with Erin and Diane and those guys. I know a few nights I heard her cry herself to sleep.”

“Ah, so as well as having to be Gaby, Drew was then socially outcast by everyone. That explains a few things as well. Thank you Jules.”

Dave and Jenny were sitting there in stunned silence as Jules recited what had happened to Drew. And they were getting angrier by the second.

“Well!” exclaimed Jenny. “I think we will be having a chat with Brit’s parents about this, and I know I am going to have a few choice words for the chaperones and Michael Woods when we get home!”

“Mum, Miss C did her best. She tried to help Gaby, she really did. She could see it was a real strain for her. But there wasn’t a whole lot she could do, without giving Drew away and making it even worse. I know she was disappointed when Gaby quit the cheer team after the competition, but she understood. And I heard she gave the cheer team a real dressing down for the way they treated Gaby, after she did everything to help them get there. Miss C is not to blame here, mum.”

“Well, I still want to talk to her about this whole thing before everyone goes home. And we will be talking to Britney’s parents about this. What that girl did was unconscionable!”

“But for now, let’s concentrate on Drew.”

“Well then” said Karen “let’s get you folks in there for a reunion with Drew. We’ll come in when you buzz the nurse’s station. Like I told you earlier, I want to be up front with Drew and we will tell him that you two were here observing for the last two days, and that it was at my request. And we can explain to him why. I know he’ll be angry because he has missed you terribly, but we’ll deal with that too.”

“So off you go, you three. We’ll turn off all of the observation devices and wait for your call.”

Jenny, Dave and Jules headed out the door and into Drew’s room. The two doctors saw him jump out of bed and hug his mum, then his dad, then Jules, and then there was a group hug. They turned from the observation window, and went and sat down.

“Now comes the difficult bit” sighed Karen. “I think we are about to crush some of Drew’s dreams. And while we may make room for some others, Drew will be a long time recovering from this. Especially from the treatment he received here.”

Back in Drew’s room, the family was having a much needed hug fest and cry. Jenny had Drew wrapped up in her arms and didn’t appear like she would let go anytime soon. They were now sitting on Drew’s bed, Drew snuggled into Jenny’s arms like a small child and she was gently rocking Drew back and forth.

“It’s okay pet, we’re here now. And we’ll get through this together, like a family.”

Dave and Jules had pulled up chairs close to the bed and were nodding in agreement, tears unabashedly streaming down their faces.

They were together, and a family again, and that’s all that truly mattered.

After a while, as Drew’s tears receded and he was able to get himself under some modicum of control, he looked up at his mum.

“I’ve really messed things up this time, haven’t I mum?”

“Oh Drew, no you haven’t. Things happen in life sometimes, don’t they? It’s like me saying that getting cancer was messing up things. It happened. And petal, I owe you and Jules and your dad a big apology for how I handled it. You have done the best you could, we love you and that’s what matters. No one could have done any more. ”

Chapter 9

“But I ended up in hospital, mum! And…and Dr. Maggie had to bring in a nut doctor to see me! Dr. Karen is real nice, though” Drew mused.

“You and dad had to fly all the way over here to get me. I’m so happy you came, but if I hadn’t messed up, you wouldn’t have to be here. I feel really bad about making you have to fly mum.”

“Now petal” intoned Jenny “don’t worry. I was cleared to fly a few days ago, and I was going to be coming over anyways. Your dad and I were going to surprise the two of you.

The Team is doing a bit of a mini promotional tour here in America. George had already made arrangements for us to come. We just had to move them up a day or two, that’s all.”

Drew visibly sagged in relief. He had been worrying that he had cost his mum and dad a whole lot of money to come over to look after him. He had also been worrying about whether or not his mum was really okay to fly or not.

Drew sat there for a few more minutes, just soaking in the feelings of being reunited with his family and feeling safe with them there.

He was lightly jolted out of his reverie by his mum, when she asked “So Drew, the doctors gave us a brief rundown about what happened. Would you like to talk about it and tell us what you think?”

“Errmm……..I guess so, mum.”

“It’s like this mum. You know I’ve had to be Gaby the whole time I’ve been here, right?”

“Well, yes Drew, but I admit to being a bit puzzled as to why.”

“Ummm….. A bunch of reasons I guess, mum. The first was that Brit and Deb never told their ‘rents that Drew was a boy. The second was the Foresters….I couldn’t really be Drew during the day, and have Gaby show up only for cheer practice, could I? I mean, people would have guessed and been even more horrible than they have. They would have thought I was some kind of transvestite or something. The only people here who knew I was Drew, besides Jules and the gang, was Erin. Erin knew that Jenny Bond only had a son that was a cyclist, and his name was Drew.”

“And, I think Mad had a lot to do with this as well. ‘Member I had packed the night before we left? And Mad came over later? To make sure I had everything I needed? Well, when I got here, I found that all that was in my suitcase was Gaby clothes, so I couldn’t have been Drew even if I wanted to. I know I packed mostly my clothes, and just a bit of Gaby stuff for the cheer team events. And once I was here, it was easier than trying to explain it all and get a bunch of people in trouble. I really want to know why she did that. I mean, what’s so wrong with Drew?”

“Hmmm….’though it didn’t change the freak thing. I was just a different kind of freak.”

“Jules was the only one here looking out for me” Drew choked out. As he reached out and squeezed his sister’s hand, a tear trickled down his cheek.

Jules squeezed back, the tears evident in her eyes as well. She knew exactly what kind of hell Drew had lived through during the exchange. ”Those bloody AHS students, you included Britney, just couldn’t handle having a ‘girl’ who liked other girls in your midst, could you? God knows I’ve heard the same comments that Drew has, but what Drew doesn’t know is that Brit has been saying the same things. Sure, sure, maybe she was saying them simply to fit in with the in’ crowd, but she knew better and in some ways that makes her an even bigger hypocrite to my mind. And Mad, bloody cow, setting up Drew with Sam, just to be a bitch. Treating Drew like she used to in private, but in public being the same as the others. And she and Em putting Drew in danger of discovery just for ‘shits and giggles’”.

The more she thought about the whole experience, the more she wished they had never come. She had come to love Gaby like a sister, even though she knew it was Drew under there. And she felt terribly guilty about the times she had helped make him over into Gabs when he didn’t want to. And these days, just like Drew, she wasn’t always sure who was real and who wasn’t. Like the two were merging into one person.

Drew started to speak again.

“I guess it all got to be too much for me. I mean, I was always worried about being discovered. And what was worse, is sometimes I felt like some of the others were putting me in positions where I would get discovered. And that scared me even more. It was like they were purposely trying to make my life even worse. And these were my ‘friends’.”

“After the cheer competition, it kind of came to a head with Mad. She and Em were having a go at me, and I finally had enough. I had told Miss C that I would be there for the competition, but after we were done our final number I was done. I think she hoped I would change my mind, but she said she understood. Jules knows all about what happened there. But after that they treated me even worse. I guess I just kind of lost the plot mum. I couldn’t tell where Drew ended and Gaby began, anymore. And I wasn’t sure that it really mattered anymore.”

“Oh Drew” said Jenny, as she hugged her child closer to her “I wish I’d never insisted you two come on this trip! I am so sorry that it wasn’t the wonderful experience for you two that I hoped it would be.”

“But I do have to ask. Who is this ‘Em’ you keep referring to? You make it sound like we should know her from the gang at Warsop?”

“Oh……..right! Umm, well mum, Em is Mfanwy. Mfanwy Morgan. Aaahhh, you would have to talk to Sylv about all the details, but Em is Rhod.”

“Excuse me?! Em is Rhod? And she or he was giving you a hard time about being Gaby?! Oh, I will most definitely be having a talk with Sylv when we get home! And Carol and I will be having a few long talks as well. No matter why, Maddy’s behavior has totally unacceptable.”

“Oh mum! It’s all okay, really. Jules and I got to know each other a whole lot better, I got to cycle, and hopefully this weekend I get to race with Erin, Diane and the Grottoes team. And now that you and dad are here, you get to see me race! I do get to race don’t I mum?” Drew pleaded.

“Well, we’ll talk about that with the doctors, Drew. We have to see what they have to say first.” interjected Dave. Responding to Drew’s growing agitation, “But if they say all is a go, I don’t think your mother or I will object.”

“Brill! Thanks dad. Thanks mum.” Getting to race would be great. And having mom there for a change.

Jenny was wondering how to broach the subject of how Drew felt about being Gaby, and she was sure Dave was thinking the same. It would be nice to get some idea of how Drew felt before they paged the doctors. She silently sighed, thinking that no child should have to deal with this, let alone on her own. And given what the doctors had told them about how limited Drew’s options were, she wasn’t quite sure how Drew would take the news. Well she may as well just ask him straight out.

“Drew, how did you feel about being Gaby, and where did things start to get confused for you?”

Drew twisted his head around to look at his mum, and blushed.

“Ermmm, to be honest mum, it didn’t feel a whole lot different when I wasn’t thinking about it. When I was thinking about it, I guess I was more worried about getting discovered as Drew than I was of being Gaby. It was kind of weird. I mean, everyone took me as a girl except some of the gang when they were having at me. And Jules treated me like a sister, which was great; but when Drew wanted to talk she was always there for me too. For most of the time I tried to think about Drew and Gaby as two separate people, but as time went on, the dividing line seemed to get smaller and smaller until it seemed like there wasn’t any difference.”

Drew sighed. “I think that a lot of people see a girl when they look at me anyways, no matter if I’m Drew or Gaby. Talking to Dr. Maggie and Dr. Karen has helped a lot though. I was really hung up on whether I was Drew or Gaby and that’s really where I lost the plot. But they helped me to see that I was just me, and that the names didn’t matter. I guess it’s all about discovering who I am and taking it from there, girl or boy, I’m just me.”

“What do you and dad think I should do? I mean, do you think I should be a boy or a girl?”

Dave spoke up.

“Drew, we simply want you to be happy. And it is more important that you be true to yourself. It’s really about who you feel you are deep inside…..” Dave was struggling for the right words, not wanting to influence Drew either way. “Umm..Deep in your soul, I guess is the way I would put it. When you think about it, and ask yourself that question, what answer do you get? That answer, that knowledge is who you should be. And your mum, Jules and I will all support you. We will face this head on as a family.”

Drew looked at each of them, trying to read their faces. What he saw was love, unconditional love. That unwavering support and trust, that no matter what, they would always be there for him. Right there, right then, Drew felt like he could happily drown in the feeling of love he got from his family. Drew sat there, basking in their love and thinking. And in that moment, that moment that seemed to stretch on forever, Drew knew. It was that epiphanous moment when everything came into absolutely clear focus. And when Drew spoke, his family could tell something had changed.

“Mum, what do we do now? And what do we say to the doctors?”

“Well Drew; first I think we all sit down with the doctors and hear what they have to tell us, and then we talk about it from there. I think that we need to have all of the information we can before we decide how to proceed.”

“You’re right mum. Dr. Maggie was running all sorts of tests. So I guess it’s best to find out about them first.”

“Well Drew, if you want to start talking to them, we can call them in anytime. Just push the patient call button. They wanted to give us all some time together first, and said to press that to let them know when we were ready for them.”

“Not yet, mum. I want to talk to all of you some more first.”

Drew extricated himself from his mum’s lap, and started to walk around the room. He stopped, turned to speak, and stopped. And started walking around again. Jenny, Dave and Jules all sat quietly, waiting for Drew to begin. To Dave and Jenny at least, it appeared that Drew had made a decision, but was trying to figure out how to tell them all what it was.

“I’ve been trying to figure out who, or what I am. Or even if it’s Gaby or Drew that’s real. Like I said, it was when I couldn’t tell myself who was who that things got funny. But it wasn’t until I started talking with Dr. Karen that some things started to make sense. She was able to help me sort out a bunch of what I’d read about, and helped me understand what a lot of those things meant. Since I’ve been here at the hospital I’ve had a lot of time to think. And maybe I’ve sorted some out of this.”

Drew turned to his mother.

“Mum, what about cycling? I mean, would I still be able to cycle either way?”

“We’d have to find that out for sure, but it might also depend on what the doctors say. And we could certainly talk to Caro – you know she would do whatever she could to make sure you could still race.”

“You’re right, she would. I guess we need to hear what Dr. Maggie and Dr. Karen have to say, don’t we?”

He took a deep breath and continued, “It’s just…….well, if I’m developing like a girl, will I be able to compete with the guys? I mean will I be able to keep up to them and still be a good racer? A lot of them are already a lot bigger and stronger than I am. And if I was to be a girl, would I have to take a lot of drugs that wouldn’t allow me to compete?”

Pausing his pacing again, “‘Cuz I don’t want to give up biking mum. It’s one thing that I can do that brings me closer to you and I won’t give it up!”

Tears began to well up in Drew’s eyes as he thought of having to give up racing. It was like asking him not to breathe. Jen got off the bed and swept up Drew in a hug.

“Oh Drew, it will all work out. Like your dad said, we’ll face this together as a family. Whatever you decide we will do everything we can to make sure you can still live your dreams.”

She drew back a little, and cradling Drew’s face in her hands she looked him in the eye.

“What’s important here pet is you, and how you feel about Drew, and Gaby. It’s what you feel deep down inside. But you’re the only one that can decide that sweetheart. And you’re the only one who can tell us how you feel.”

Drew and Jenny slowly sank down to the floor, Jenny still cradling her child’s face in her hands. And in her eyes, Drew saw himself. And he saw all that he was and could be. Her eyes were like the mirror to his soul. And he could see the love and pride and fear in Jenny’s eyes all warring for dominance. And deep inside Drew, that last bit of resistance and reserve began to crumble. All at once he fell limply into his mother’s arms and began to weep. Heartrending sobs tore from his throat as he broke down completely.

Jenny just held her son as he cried, and she cried with him. Crying for the innocence that was lost, her inability to protect her child, and she silently railed at a deity who would allow a child to feel this kind of pain.

Knowing what she and Dave knew, what the doctors had told them, she wondered if Drew could ever have a normal life. Whatever Drew would consider to be normal life, in any case.

Her mind wandered as she held her child tight to her, trying to hug away the hurt and make him feel better. Drew clung to her like a limpet mine to a ship’s hull. She wondered if she had been at home, instead of away racing, if she could have seen what was going on. She thought about what Dr. Macarthur had said when they had talked with her, about Drew being such a quiet and introspective child after he went to school. She thought about the woman Maggie had told them about and compared her to Drew; and she reflected on how life could be so brutally unfair to children. She was grateful in her own way that she had never had to face these challenges herself. And she was determined to do what it took to help her baby. No matter what.

“G-g-g-Gaby” Drew whispered, choking it out through his sobs.

“What was that sweetheart?” Jenny whispered soothingly in his ear.

“I…I need to be Gaby” she cried.

“Even if, even if I can’t ever bike again, mum. I need to be Gaby. I’m sorry mum! I’m so sorry!”

“It’s okay petal, it’s okay. It will be all right, you’ll see.”

Jenny hugged Drew closer and rocked her child and whispered reassuring words to her new daughter. Looking over Drew’s shoulder at Dave, her own tears streaming down her cheeks she mouthed the name “Gaby” to her husband.

Dave and Jules came over and sat down on the floor with them. Dave hugging both his wife and Gaby; Jules taking one of Gaby’s hands in her own and gently rubbing it.

Dave was the first to speak, his voice rough with emotion and unshed tears.

“Thank you, for telling us how you feel and for being so brave. We are ALL so proud of you. That took a lot of courage.”

Gaby looked up at him, eyes rimmed red, and tears streaming down her cheeks. And in that moment, Dave saw – truly saw, his other daughter for the first time. There was an odd look of peace in her face, and a slight smile played across her lips. Dave reached out and brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face then allowed his hand to rest on her cheek.

“We love you, and always will. This doesn’t change how we feel and it never will. You are beautiful and precious, just like your sister. No matter where we go from here you always will be. And no one, not your cousin, or your friends or anyone else will ever take that away.”

“Oh, Da-ad!”

Gaby turned to her sister and said “Jules, can you stand having a sister instead of a brother?”

“I think I can get used to it Gabs. It seems I’ve had a bit of practice lately – haven’t I?”

Jules hugged her sister tight and whispered in her ear “And think of the shopping opportunities now, Gabs!”

Gaby laughed. “Only Jules!”

Gaby looked around her and gave thanks for such a wonderful family.

“Thanks Jules, I really needed that!”

She paused a minute, as if thinking, “Ummm, so what happens now mum? Dad?”

Jenny looked at her youngest. “Well sweetheart, I guess we talk to the doctors. We need see what they have to say. Then, we can chart a course from there. Okay?”

“Okay mum. Maybe they can help with some of this stuff.”

The four of them got up off the floor, Jenny guiding Gaby back to her bed and Dave and Jules taking their chairs again. Jenny climbed on the bed with Gaby and gently wrapped herself around her child, as if daring anyone to try and hurt her or come between the two of them.

“Petal, is Gaby the name you want? Or did you want to choose something else? I know that name just got dropped on you from the charity ride.”

“No mum, Gaby is fine. It’s the name I’ve gotten used to and the name everyone knows me as. Besides, Gaby is short for Gabrielle, right?”

“Yes dear, it is. Why?”

“Well then, it will be Gabrielle Drew Bond, Gaby for short. My names won’t change that much and then everyone who knew me as Drew or Gaby will just think they have been using one of my names.” Pausing to take a breath, she continued, “I’m not sure what we can do about cycling, though.” Gaby’s face started to drop.

“Now, now pet, let’s take that bridge when we come to it. Getting things sorted, here, with the doctors comes first. In fact, why don’t you push the call button and get them in here. Maybe after we’ve all talked, the four of us, can go out for a meal.” With a smile on her face, “When Mrs. Walters brought Jules over; your sister brought you a change of clothes.”

“Oh, that would be brill, mum! I’ll ring for them right away.”

“Um, Gaby dear; before you do, your dad and I want to talk about something else for a couple of minutes. Okay?”

“Sure mum. What is it?”

As soon as Jen had said that, Dave tensed up a little. While this wasn’t lost on Jen, thankfully neither of the kids had noticed it. Dave was quite sure what Jen wanted to talk about with Gaby about. It was time to come clean with Gaby about how long they had been there and why they waited this long. It wasn’t fair to put the blame solely on the doctors. After all, they were simply trying to help Gaby. And, Jen and Dave had agreed with them.

“Sweetheart, it has to do with you and being in the hospital. Umm, your dad and I got the call from Dr. MacArthur and Jules right after they brought you in to the hospital.”

“Ye-es?” Gaby answered with a question in her voice.

“Dr. MacArthur had given you a shot to relax and help you go to sleep. I asked her to give you enough to keep you asleep until we got here. She told me that she had given you enough sedative that you were likely to sleep for 12 or 14 hours, given how stressed your body had been.”

“But you just got here mum! And I’ve been awake since last night!”

At this point Dave took over the narrative. He was trying to read Gaby’s face and failing miserably, but pressed on regardless.

“Gaby, actually we did get here last evening while you were still asleep.”

“WHAT! Why didn’t you come and see me after I woke up!!???”

Jen hugged Gaby closer to her and softly whispered “Honey, when we got here we had to talk to the doctors first. While we were talking to them, they asked if they could have today to talk to you without you knowing we were here.”

“But WHY?!” Gaby cried plaintively.

“Can you tell me honestly that you would have told Dr. Maggie and Dr. Karen everything you’ve told them today if we had been in the room?”

Gaby blushed and a meek “No” came from her lips.

“So then wasn’t it better that they were able to talk to you and get everything out in the open? Wasn’t it better that you had a chance to understand a lot of things before we saw you today?”

“Well, yes mum. But….”

“I know petal, you missed us and wanted us here to help you. But, how does it feel to have helped yourself? Does it feel good to have worked through all of these things mostly on your own?”

“Yes, mum it does.”

Dave interjected “Your mum and I are very proud of the way you have handled all of this. It’s been our honor to see the very mature way you are trying to look at all of this. We know you’ve had a lot of help from the doctors, but we are so very proud of you.”

Gaby simply blushed.

“Your mum hasn’t said it yet, but we were never more than a room away. If something bad had happened we would have been here in a flash.”

Knowing they were close at hand mollified Gaby somewhat. At least they would have been there in an emergency. And besides, if her mum hadn’t been cleared for travel they might not be here even now.

“Now, child of mine, when we do ring for the doctors do you want your sister here when it is being discussed? Or would you prefer to discuss it as a family separately? This is your choice.”

Just then Jules chimed in “Gabs, if you want I will wait outside while they’re here and we can talk about it after.”

“No way would I leave you out of this. My big sis has been the only one looking out for me the whole time I’ve been here.” Gaby squeezed Jules’ hand gently. “No Jules, we’re going to do this together as a family. We’ll learn about all of this together and we’ll deal with it all together. No secrets.”

Jules smiled and blushed.

Jen felt a slight pang of pain at that remark. Keeping her medical condition a secret had almost cost her the love of her family. And here was her daughter, with every bit as life changing a medical condition making sure her entire family was a part of it. A flush of shame crossed her face as she thought about it. Never again, she vowed silently to herself. Never again would she hold things back from those she loved.

“All right then sweetheart, why don’t you, press the call button and we’ll get the doctors in here and get on with things.”

“‘Kay mum.”

Gaby wiggled herself off the bed and bent down to grab the fallen call button. Picking up the call button, she stopped and looked at it. Knowing that once she called the doctors in, life would never be the same again. Having been freed from her fear by telling her family and being accepted by them she was at a bit of a loss about what to do next. And she wondered what the future held for her.

What would happen when they got home to Warsop? Would the gang, and more particularly Maddy be able to accept this?

Cripes. What are all the kids at school going to be like? And what about the Head? And all the teachers? And Maddy? I know she seems to like ‘turning me into Gaby’ but what about when I’m Gaby for real? No! Stop that Gaby! One step at a time. Mum and dad and Jules said they would be with me. Let’s talk to the doctors and then see what happens. Press the button before you lose your nerve.

With that Gaby sat up straight and pressed the button.

Turning back to her family she looked and said “This is going to be really hard isn’t it?”

Dave decided to answer her before anyone else said anything.

“Yes it will be. Your mum and I will not lie to you. This is going to be very tough. None of us know how friends, family, school chums or anyone else will react to this. I think, and hope your mum feels the same, that most people will be just fine with this because they have seen Gaby a fair bit over the last while. You know your gran is fine seeing Gaby, and I suspect that there are others in your life that will have no problem at all. But if I’m being realistic Gabs, there will be some people that don’t like this and may reject you because of it. And you, WE, have to be prepared for that.”

“Some of the people closest to you may have ‘issues’ with this and may not want to associate with you, or call you names, or worse. I don’t think Warsop is like here by any stretch of the imagination, but you’ve had issues here simply by your sexual orientation. My dear child, reaction to gender orientation may not be any different. At least here. And it could easily be that way at home, as well. This is not something people are used to. To most people, there are girls and there are boys, and that’s all there is to it.”

“But we will be there to stand by you and help you through this”

“Now, let’s wait for the doctors and we can talk about it all after they’ve told us all everything. Oh, and Gaby, do you want to tell them your decision first or do you want to wait until they’ve had their say?”

“I think I’ll wait, dad, if you don’t mind.”

Karen and Maggie had been sitting at the table in the observation room, going over their notes and preparing to go and talk to the Bond family. They had been hashing out what they were going to cover and who would cover things, when a nurse entered the room. As they’d agreed, the window was darkened and the speakers off, to give the family privacy.

“Doctors? You asked to be informed when the call button was used next door? It just went off.”

“Thank you Piper, we’ll be right there.”

Maggie turned to Karen “I guess it’s time, let’s not keep them waiting. We’ll likely be a fair while explaining all of this and answering questions. Let’s hope that Drew takes the news well.”

“So true, oh so very true. I can only hope that this will come more as a pleasant surprise rather than a rude shock. That could easily send Drew catatonic again.”

“No time like the present I guess then. Let’s be about it, shall we?”

With that the two doctors gathered up their notes and headed over to Drew’s room.

As they entered, they both detected a sense of peace, but also anticipation.

Maggie cocked her head and looked over at Drew. He had a wistful little smile on his face, and you could see the tracks of the tears that had run down his face. He was wrapped up by his mother like a life size teddy bear. She too had been crying, but Maggie thought she saw a glint of hope in her eyes. Tilting her head a little more to take in Dave and Jules, she felt heartened by the fact that no one appeared dreadfully sad or depressed.

Pulling up chairs to make an intimate group, including the whole family, Maggie and Karen sat down.

“So Drew, glad to have everyone here now?” Maggie queried.

“Oh yes, Dr. Maggie! I’m so happy to have mum and dad here.” Drew snuggled into his mother’s arms some more. “But I wish I could have seen them last night” he quietly continued.

“Ah, I see your parents have told you that we asked for the day with you. Drew, we thought it the best way to help you, and to let you feel free to talk without having to worry about what you said.”

“I know Dr. Maggie, but still...”

“I understand Drew. Truly I do, but do you think you would have been so open and honest with your mum and dad in the room?”

“Errr ... mmmm ... probably not,” Drew admitted. “And I know I wouldn’t have gotten some of the answers to the questions I had, either.” He sighed then, “Mum and dad told me that you were only trying to do what was best for me. But I still wish they’d been with me last night.” Drew visibly pulled himself together, “I know you were taking a bunch of blood and x-rays and stuff. What did you find out, Dr. Maggie?”

“Ah, right to it then? Very well. Are you okay with everyone being here in the room when we discuss this?”

“Oh yes, Dr. Maggie. This is something that affects the whole family, so they should all be here when we talk about it.”

“Very well then. I will start, and Karen will pitch in about things as they come up.”

“As you indicated, I ran a large range of tests, after I read your medical files and had done a basic physical examination. I already knew you were on iron supplements, and from the physical examination I could see you were developing female secondary sexual characteristics.”

Drew blushed, recalling how Dr. Maggie had initially found that out.

“Initially, I ordered a series of blood tests, and that initial MRI. The blood tests were a basic genetic karyotyping, and checking the various hormonal levels in your blood.”

“What’s gene…genetic karyotyping Dr. Maggie?”

“When we take the blood and look at it in certain ways, we can determine the makeup of your genes and chromosomes. Those are the design and building blocks of the body. They are what make you who you are. We look to make sure you have the right number of chromosomes, and what type they are. Under normal conditions the body has 23 pairs of chromosomes or 46 in total. And there are two basic configurations for genetic male and genetic female. A standard genetic female would be 46 XX and a standard genetic male would be 46 XY.” She paused then, “Now do you remember when we talked about inter-sexed people?”

“Yes,” Drew looked a little nervous as he responded.

“Well, many times they have a different variant from the standard. Sometimes they are 46 XXY, XXXY, XXYY and others which, besides intersex issues, can lead to the discovery of other health issues.”

“Are mine like that, Dr. Maggie”

“No Drew, yours are standard. No extras.”

Drew breathed a sigh of relief. “That’s good to know.”

“But, intersex issues do not only manifest through the genetic structures. Sometimes a child can be born genetically standard but have both or some of the tissues of the other physical sex present. Other times, there is a minor extra bit of tissue that can look like genitals.”

“When we did your test Drew, it came back standard, like I said. But it came back standard 46 XX. Which means you are genetically female.”

The whole family was stunned by this announcement. Dave and Jenny, who had heard it before, recovered first, and watched the delayed reactions of their daughters.

Karen began to speak. “Drew, this simply means that your body is genetically female. It doesn’t mean anything more than that. Who you are is not simply genetics. It is as much how you are wired as it is anything else.” She paused a moment, before continuing, “Who you are is not dependent on what your genetics are, or what your physical body shows. Please try to keep that firmly in mind. Out of all of this, our goal is to help you to become the person you are meant to be, no matter whom that is.”

Maggie was watching the family. While Drew and Jules were absolutely stunned by the news, she could see the wheels turning in Drew’s mind. She watched as Drew stole a glance at Jules and her mum, and a small smile crossed his lips.

Maggie turned to Karen and arched an eyebrow. Silently asking if Karen had seen what she had. With a slight nod from Karen, Maggie turned back to Drew and the rest of the family. “I take it, that this is not entirely unwelcome news?”

Drew began to blush. It seemed to start at his toes and slowly work up the rest of his body. “Errmm……well Dr. Maggie, uh, no it isn’t. Ummm, in the time we’ve all been talking, I’ve come to a decision. Not so much a decision I guess, really. More like with all we talked about I began to look at who I am a whole lot. And I started to see who I really was. And once mum and dad were here and we started to be able to talk, it all sort of came together in my mind.”

Karen leaned over in her chair and looked directly into Drew’s eyes. “Can you share this decision with us?” she gently asked.

“Dr. Karen, I realized that I always was Gaby. And mum and dad and Jules were all here and I could feel how much they loved me. And, I knew I could tell them that. And when I did, it was all okay. I was very scared though.”

Both doctors noted the significance of the use of ‘Gaby’ and how it seemed that Drew took possession of that name.

“So Gaby, how do you feel about that?”

“Ummm ... scared but safe at the same time, if that makes sense. I know I have the support of everybody here, and I know Gran will be okay, but the rest of my friends? I don’t know about them. Given how they’ve been treating me while I’ve been here, I really don’t know. I thought I knew them, but now I’m not so sure.” She paused a moment, “And the one I’m most unsure about is Maddy. I mean, looking back on everything I know she’s had a lot of ‘fun’ making me over into Gaby at every chance, but how will things be now that I’m Gaby for real?” Gaby gulped then, “I don’t want to lose her.”

Tears started falling from Gaby’s eyes as she carried on. “I mean, that would make us lesbians. And she and Em and everyone else here have been treating me like I have the plague ‘coz I love another girl’. Is that just the influence of the kids here, or do all my friends really feel that way?” Gaby swallowed, “I think that’s what scares me the most.”

Then, a bit more steadily, “And mum and dad haven’t sugarcoated it for me. They tell me it’s going to be very tough too. That there will be people that can’t accept that I was Drew and am now Gaby. This might make it a touch easier with some people, but not everyone will believe it.”

“You’re right Gaby” Karen said “In some ways it will make it easier, but yes, there are people that will simply say that it’s a convenient excuse and nothing more. And yes, feeling safe and scared makes perfect sense.” She paused, before asking, “How does it make you feel about the rest of your time here and for when you go home?”

“Well, with mum, dad and Jules here, I’m not worried about the rest of the trip. ‘Cept for being able to race this weekend.” Gaby said, turning a set of doe eyes on the two doctors.

Maggie and Karen both burst out laughing.

“Wow!” Maggie chuckled “you sure have the pleading eyes down pat. Dave, Jenny – you better watch out or she’ll be talking you out of a car before you know it!” Then, back to Gaby, “We’ll talk about that a little later Gaby. We still have a fair bit of ground to cover yet. So to get back to Karen’s question, what about when you get home?”

“That one I’m not so sure of. I admit I am worried about the gang and about school. Will I be allowed back? What will all my mates say? What about the Head and the teachers?”

Jenny decided to take a hand in the discussion. “Well petal, the school will not have any problems with it. One way or the other. Mr. Woods and all the teachers are bound by the law at home, and the Gender Recognition Act will not allow that kind of thing. And your dad and I will be having a long discussion with Mr. Woods anyways, and we will make sure there are no difficulties there. As for all your mates and the gang, well we’ll have to take that one step at a time.”

“But what about our neighbours, and the other people in town? What about them?”

“One step at a time pet, one step at a time.” Jenny gently stroked her daughter’s hair, trying to keep her calm.

“Gaby, those are all valid fears. And some people will surprise you – on both sides of the equation” Karen said. “The thing to keep in mind is this is who you are, and it is not like you have a choice in your genetics or in who you are. The genetics and the hard wiring are set long before birth. But look around you. You have your family. Learn to lean on their strength when you need to. It is obvious to both of us that your family loves you very much, and will do whatever they can to help you.” She paused for breath before continuing, “Before you go home, I will give your mum and dad the names of some therapists in England that can help you with things as well. You are a strong young woman Gaby, whether you believe it or not right now. You have had to be to survive this long. I’m going to turn things back over to Maggie for the moment, so we can go over the rest of the test results and then we can talk about them. Okay?”

“Sure, Dr. Karen, that would be okay.”

“Okay then,” Maggie said, “let’s keep going.”

“From your blood, we learned a few other things. Yes, you are still somewhat iron deficient so you do need to keep taking your pills. But when we checked your hormone levels, they came back as normal. Normal for a girl just entering puberty. Now for a boy that shouldn’t be possible because you shouldn’t have the internal equipment to make that happen. I got these tests back before I got the genetic test back, so this may seem slightly out of order. And for that I apologize. But, when your hormone levels came back like that, I decided we needed to do some further physical investigation. That’s why I ordered that special x-ray – the MRI. The MRI uses magnetics to map an image of areas of the body we need to see in much more detail than standard x-rays.”

Continuing her explanation, “The first one we did while you were still asleep. Dr. Winters, our radiologist monitored the MRI while it was being done. One of her comments was that if she didn’t know any better, that strictly from the skeletal structure she would have said we were scanning a girl. That was one of our first clues. As she continued the scan she noted what appeared to be a female reproductive system – somewhat underdeveloped, but there. And she noted that there were no male reproductive organs present. This presented us with another set of problems to look at.”

“Why was that Dr. Maggie?”

“Well Gaby, think of how you look externally. You look like a boy. And since you have never reported any problems urinating, then that meant that there were some things inside you that weren’t quite in the right place.”

With that Maggie dug out a couple of diagrams. One was of the female reproductive and urinary systems, the other was for the male.

“If you look at both of these side by each Gaby, you can tell that the way the urethra, that’s what carries urine from the bladder to be expelled from the body, is different between the two.” With that she used a pencil to trace the urethra on each diagram so Gaby could see what she meant. “So that left me with another mystery. What was going on inside your tummy? And what effect could all of this have on you physically?”

“In talking about this with Dr. Winters, it was her opinion that the female reproductive organs appeared to be inactive at this point, and like I said, somewhat underdeveloped. It was also her opinion that those organs could become active before long. By not active I mean she saw no evidence of blood collecting in the abdominal cavity or what would appear to be enlarged organs. Once I had this information, and then got the genetic results back, I had a lot more to work with.” Pausing then, “Now remember we had an MRI done when you were feeling kind of sleepy? After you had woken up for the first time?”

“Yes, Dr. Maggie, I remember.”

“Well Gaby, that was when I had Dr. Winters do a more detailed examination of the whole abdominal area. Partially to confirm what the first one had noted and so see if there was evidence of anything else at all there.”

Jenny, Dave and Karen knew what was coming next. Karen tried to maintain a calm and professional demeanor while she prepared to help Gaby if things started to get out of hand. Dave tensed up, but tried to remain cheerful for Gaby’s sake; and Jenny just continued to hug Gaby – perhaps a little bit tighter than before, but Gaby never noticed that.

“So, what did she find, Dr. Maggie?”

“Well Gaby, she confirmed that you have a full set of female reproductive organs, and that there were no male reproductive organs present. She also found evidence of a partially formed vaginal canal. And she found some tissue thickening where the vagina should be located and believes it to be scar tissue.” Maggie paused for a moment to let Gaby take in that information.

“So I have most of the girl ‘bits’ and some scar tissue.” Gaby said, more to herself than to the others. Looking up, “Why would there be scar tissue, Dr. Maggie?”

Maggie and Karen had both known this question would come and had been dreading answering it. How do you tell a child that a doctor made a mistake and mutilated her? Well, she certainly wouldn’t tell Gaby ‘mutilated’ although that was how she privately felt about it. She and Karen had discussed this and they had both agreed that the best way to handle this was that this was a mistake made with the best of intentions. Whether it was or wasn’t was impossible to determine at this point, unless there were some medical records in England that detailed what happened and why. And privately she doubted that. So, for Gaby’s mental health and to try and let her make sense of it somehow, this was how they had decided to handle it.

“Well, Gaby, there is essentially only one answer for that. It is most likely that you were born with both sets of genitals, and when you were born, the decision was made to remove the one set. Now two things to remember here that are very important. The first is that the decision was made purely by the doctors. We have talked with your mum and dad and they assure us that they were never informed of this. The second thing is that this was likely done with the best of intentions.”

“Best of intentions, Dr. Maggie? They operated on me, and didn’t tell mum and dad? How could that be best for me?!!!”

Gaby was getting a bit wound up now, and Jules was looking absolutely horrified. Dave had put his arm around Jules to give her some comfort, and Jenny had pulled Gaby right into her and was quietly whispering to her trying to calm her down so Maggie could finish what she had to say before Gaby totally lost it.

“Gaby, please let me try and explain what I think might have happened. Can you do that for me please?” Maggie quietly asked.

Gaby looked at Maggie, and saw the compassion in her eyes. “All right Dr. Maggie. Go ahead.”

“Now, you remember what I told you about the MRI results? And you remember what I told you about how your urethra was routed? The doctor that would have delivered you obviously saw both sets of genitalia. Now, if he had seen some urine come from your penis, he may have made the assumption that because this was the way the urinary system was routed; then the female genitalia were the extraneous, or not needed set. And as such he would have done what is called a vaginectomy, or surgical removal of the vagina.” She carefully watched how Gaby was taking this, and as she seemed to be no worse, “Fast forward to where we are now. Genetic testing is much more widely used and readily available. MRI’s are far more prevalent and access to them much easier. It is far easier for us to tell now, and the methods we use now differ from even 10 to 15 years ago. So yes, it is much easier for us to tell, and far easier for us to look at it in hindsight and say he made a bad decision. But, you have to ask yourself what were the options available to the doctor at the time? He most likely didn’t have access to the equipment and testing options we have here today.”

After a brief pause, “I am not trying to make excuses for your doctor. Not by any stretch of the imagination. But I am just pointing out some of the differences between then and now. Should he have consulted your parents? In my mind, yes. Should he have done more investigation? To my way of thinking, the answer to that is yes as well. But we are here now, and hindsight is always clearer. No matter the route that led us all here, we have some issues that need to be dealt with fairly shortly. Fortunately, from our standpoint right here right now, the vaginectomy was an incomplete one.”

“Why is that a ‘good thing’?” Gaby asked rather bitterly.

“There are a couple of reasons for that. But first let me say that it’s okay to be angry about this. I know I would be if it were me. And I suspect your parents are angry too. There is no one left to be angry at however. Your parents tell me that the doctor that delivered you died a few years ago. So, while it’s okay to be angry, don’t let it consume you. We can fix what happened, and that’s what is important. But back to the reasons. First of course is that we have found the problem and can fix it. Second, if the vaginectomy had been complete, they also would have done a complete, or radical, hysterectomy. That is a complete removal of the ovaries, uterus and cervix. Which means you would have had no internal production of hormones at all. This in many ways would be worse, because pubertal development would not have happened at all until we had discovered that and added one hormone or another. Third, because he did not do the hysterectomy, once we ‘repair’ the vaginectomy, you should be able to have children of your own. Which means you can still lead a completely normal life.”

“Ummm…really? I could have children of my own someday?”

“Yes Gaby, it is possible.”

Gaby sat there in wonderment thinking about that. Part of what had bothered her so much was that she was never going to have a normal life. And now the doctor was telling her it was possible. “You mean I won’t have to take hormone shots? So I can keep cycling?!!”

“Yes Gaby, you will be able to keep cycling. You will just need to do it for the women’s teams. While you can compete with the boys right now, another year or so and they will start passing you by. Well, maybe they will. With your determination I am not so sure.” This last drew chuckles from several present, as it was intended.

In the background Jules was looking at her mum. “Uterus and ovaries?” she mouthed. Her mother nodded. “Periods?” Again Jen nodded. Oh my, this could get interesting. Mum and I are going to have a whole lot of things to teach Gabs. I wonder when...” Jules face whipped round to look at her mother once more, with a somewhat stricken look. Jen looked back at her with a slow and sad nod.

Gaby meanwhile was very happy with the fact that she would still be able to cycle competitively. Elated was probably a better word. Adding in her happiness that she would end up no different from the other girls, and not be a freak, she might be ecstatic. Well, except for the fact that she loved another girl.

“Now Gaby, I am fairly sure that this has never been explained to you, but it is in puberty when women begin menstruation. Have they talked about menstruation in health class to you?” At Gaby’s quizzical look, “I didn’t think so. First, what is menstruation? Menstruation - having periods - is part of the female reproductive cycle that starts when girls become sexually mature at the time of puberty. During a menstrual period, a woman bleeds from her uterus (womb) via the vagina. This lasts anything from three to seven days. Each period commences approximately every 28 days if the woman does not become pregnant during a given cycle.” Pausing, “Are you with me so far, Gaby?”

“Errmmm….yes.” Gaby was blushing and somewhat uncomfortable getting The Talk from Dr. Maggie, even though she knew this was information she needed.

“Second, is why do women menstruate? Menstruation is a very complicated process involving many different hormones, the woman's sex organs and the brain. A woman's internal sex organs consist of two ovaries, the Fallopian tubes, the uterus (womb) and the vagina. The ovaries contain the eggs with which the woman is born and, during each period, a single egg will usually ripen and mature due to the action of hormones circulating in the bloodstream.”

Maggie picked up the diagram she had shown Gaby earlier and used her pen to show each of the organs to Gaby. “When the egg is mature it bursts from the ovary and drifts through the Fallopian tube down into the uterus. The lining of the uterus - the endometrium - has been thickened by the action of hormones and made ready to receive the fertilized egg. If the egg is fertilized and the woman becomes pregnant, it will fasten itself onto the endometrium. If the egg is not fertilized, however, the resulting hormonal changes cause the endometrium to slip away and menstruation begins. The menstrual discharge is composed of the endometrium itself, together with a little fresh blood caused by the breaking of very fine blood vessels within the endometrium as it detaches itself from the inside of the uterus.”

She paused to make sure Gaby was following along, and as she appeared to be, “Next, and I guess most importantly for us here is when menstruation begins? These days, girls begin to menstruate when they are about 10 to 14, with the average age about 12. Women generally continue to menstruate until around 50, when menopause begins. Most women have about 500 periods in their lifetime.” She paused again, knowing the next likely reason to give Gaby for the talk, “We believe that you’ve not started menstruating because your body seems to be trying to adapt two systems. And we think it may be partially because you are a high level athlete early in life.” Maggie paused again.

“Umm. How does that affect me?”

“I’m getting to that, but I want to make sure you have a complete background so things will make sense.”

“But…”

“No, don’t worry, you don’t need to remember all the big words, just how things work together. Okay?” After Gaby’s nod, “This brings us to things that can influence menstruation? Hormones, weight and stress. Regular exercise can help regulate things, but over exercising adds stress. We think that right now all three factors have kept your period from starting. Your hormones have definitely been out of balance prior to now, your body fat percentage is extremely low and you train very hard. We think this combination of factors has kept puberty at bay for the moment. And I suspect the stress of all of this has been a contributing factor as well.”

“Does all that make sense and do you see how it affects you?”

“Well, yes. It is all a little much to take in all at once though. But I bet mum and Jules will be able to help me and explain it again if I need it.”

Both Jen and Jules piped up with an “Of course I will.”

Throughout this explanation Karen had been keeping an eye on Gaby and watching her reactions and the reactions of the rest of the family. The silent byplay between Jules and Jenny had not been missed. Jules was a very smart young lady Karen thought. She had grasped the essential problem almost immediately. Gaby was reacting to “The Talk” no different than any girl just entering puberty would, with that “ooh, ick – do I really need to hear all this!” look on her face. The problem was of course, that unlike most girls her age, they were going to have to look at very rapid surgical intervention to make sure Gaby’s internal systems worked properly and didn’t end up causing her a whole plate full of other medical issues.

Maggie continued speaking.

“So that is the basics Gaby. However, in your case we have to do something to make sure that all of this can happen as it is supposed to. Right now, if you were to begin menstruation the blood has nowhere to go.”

Gaby blanched as the import of what Maggie had just said began to sink in.

“But, but, but...”

“Yes, Gaby – that means you are going to have to have an operation to fix what the doctor did when you were born. And it will have to be quite soon. Not today, or tomorrow, but likely within the next month we will have to get you the surgery so that things can happen normally for you. If we don’t there is a whole host of other medical problems that it could cause.”

Karen took up the narrative at this point.

“So, Gaby. How do you feel about what you have been told so far?”

“Right now Dr. Karen, I feel a whole lot of things. I’m mad, happy, worried, umm, kind of freaked out, and very relieved.”

“All of those are completely normal and understandable reactions and emotions Gaby. I would be concerned if you weren’t feeling a jumble of emotions like that. This is a lot to take in all at once. And since it affects all parts of your life it is going to take a while for everything to come together for you. You may find that at times one emotion will seem to override all of the others. That too is perfectly normal. You just have to try to be careful to not let it overwhelm you. Fixating on one emotion can also be dangerous.” She paused a moment, wondering if she really should drop the bomb that none of them seemed to have fully grasped as yet, then decided getting it all out now was for the best. “As surprising as it may seem, as painful as these last five weeks here in Grottoes have been, in one way they may have saved your life. If these things hadn’t happened, you and your family might not have found out about this until you were lying in a hospital bed at home bleeding into your abdomen and getting blood poisoning.”

That actually brought the entire family up short. That was a thought none of them had considered. That traumatic as this event had been, and as rough as life had been for Gaby these past few weeks, they had found out about this at a time when it was possible to do something about it with a minimum of harm to Gaby.

“We have time to resolve this now. So, as I said, there is a silver lining to the pain you’ve suffered.” She could see all four begin to relax. “You are a very special young lady. Just try to keep being you throughout all of this. And if things start to feel like they are getting too much – tell someone. Whether it’s your parents, your sister, your doctor – whoever. Don’t let it fester and grow.” She paused again to let that sink in. “We still have things to talk about, you and I, but before you leave I will make sure you have my e-mail address and phone numbers so that if it ever gets bad, you can always get a hold of me.”

Gaby blushed again, and idly wondered if she had ever blushed so much in her entire life before. “Thank you, Dr. Karen.”

“Okay then, Gaby” intoned Maggie “So let’s talk about the immediate future shall we? As I told you, we have to look at doing the surgery and quite soon. This presents a few challenges for all of us. The first is whether or not the NHS can do the work fast enough versus getting it done elsewhere. Second, the matter of your personal privacy is an issue – since you are on the way to becoming a world class athlete, this is not something you necessarily want everyone and their dog knowing about. Third, this is different from a ‘normal’ Sexual Reassignment Surgery or SRS– so it will take a real specialist in this type of surgery.”

Karen interrupted, “While I agree with Maggie, she’s hitting a tad hard. But, you do need to take care of it soon, and she’s right that it will not be the typical job, so you will want one of the top specialists. The Thai surgeons are some of the best in the world, and probably do more of the surgeries than any other country, but you’re lucky in that one at least as good is just a short flight into Canada. I’d recommend him, or one of the ones in Thailand over any others here in the US, or in the UK, not to denigrate the NHS surgeons, but they just don’t have the experience and results.” She shifted her focus to Jenny and Dave. “I had our benefits coordinator contact her colleague in the NHS, and was able to confirm that the surgery Maggie’s described is covered under a reciprocal services agreement with the Canadian health system.”

Seeing the worry on Gaby’s face Maggie took over the discussion again, “The next thing to look at is whether or not you are going to be fit for racing this weekend.”

“Oh please, oh please say yes, Dr. Maggie. Pleeeaassseee?”

The rest of the people in the room tried hard to stifle their laughs as Gaby turned the doe eyes on Maggie again, doing a successful impression of Puss from Shrek 2.

“Gaby dear, turn down the intensity of the ‘doe eyes’ please. You could hurt someone” Maggie laughed “We have a few more physical tests to run before I will clear you to race. We have to make sure that you are not in imminent danger of having your first period start, and I want to run some basic physical tests to make sure the rest of you is up to a race.”

“Oh, “I’m sure I’m fine to race Dr. Maggie, I feel good and except for yesterday I have been taking my iron pills every day. Please, please, please let me race!!!”

“We’re going to get you on the treadmill and check a bunch of other fitness levels, I want Dr. Winter’s opinion on whether we need another scan or not, and I do want you to have a couple of more chats with Dr. Page before we decide that Gaby.” She paused a moment, but seeing the look in Gaby’s eyes again, “But, you will know, by tomorrow, if you will race this weekend. Now I know that this weekend’s race is the most important thing in your mind right now young lady, but your long term health and safety are my concern. And, if at all possible, I will not allow you to jeopardize them for the sake of a race.” Dr. Maggie paused then, and leaned over and looked Gaby directly in the eyes “I, Dr. Karen, and, most importantly, your family, all want you around for a long time to come. None of us want to be worried that something might happen during the race if you push yourself too hard. So please let us check everything out first, okay?”

“All right Dr. Maggie.” Gaby paused a minute, then looking up, “When can I start doing the tests so we can see if I can race?” It was apparent to from the tone in her voice that she was hoping she could start them right now.

“Well, we will start the tests first thing in the morning. Right now, I believe we should start looking at the options we have to fix your ‘little problem’.” Dr. Maggie paused then, as if to collect her thoughts, “Now then, as we are dealing with Gaby and not Drew, there is one other set of tests that we ran that are not overly important right now, but may play a role in the future. It was what is called an Androgen Receptor study to see how well your body could accept androgens. Androgens are the male hormones, estrogens are the female hormones. This would have been far more important if you had wished to remain Drew, because in order to get you to develop like any other boy would have required shots of testosterone, a male hormone. While it would have been serious then, now it is more of an interesting bit of information.”

Dr. Maggie paused again, “You, are extremely androgen insensitive. We would not have been able to give you those shots. And if we had, at best nothing would happen, but at worst you could have had a severe allergic reaction. It would appear that the very little bit of androgens that your body produces are as much as you will ever be able to tolerate. Given that, I have to admit I was very relieved when you told us you were remaining Gaby, because our options are very limited in the other direction.”

“So even if I had wanted to stay Drew, it wouldn’t have been possible Dr. Maggie?” Gaby was quiet for a minute after asking, Wow, I guess that Drew was kind of not meant to be. And I’m glad they didn’t tell me about this earlier. It could easily have caused me to want to be Drew even more, rather than admit I like being Gaby.

Observing Gaby, Karen could see the expressions rapidly crossing her face, and interposed, “What do you think about that?”

“Dr. Karen, I was just thinking that I guess Drew was really not meant to be and that I was glad that you didn’t tell me that part before I came to my decision.”

“Why is that?”

“I guess it’s because those branches we talked about would have been trimmed not because of anything I did, but just because my body couldn’t cope. I’ve, um, been known to be a bit stubborn about some things.”

The comment drew a quick laugh from her family, to which she ducked her head briefly, but then continued, “This way, I know that the decision was mine, and not one forced on me by conditions.”

Karen nodded, “It is one thing to be yourself, but something totally different if you are forced into it.”

Despite the earlier laugh at Gaby’s remark, it was apparent to Karen that her family was confused about something in Gaby’s response and figured it was probably the tree trimming analogy. Addressing them, “Earlier, Gaby and I had been discussing choices, decisions and consequences from making decisions. Gaby was struggling to understand what I was trying to get at. So I gave her the example using a tournament tree, similar to what you see in badminton tournaments. Where, your path through the tree is dependent on your actions and that some decisions close off some parts of the tree, like losing a match, and may open others as well, like putting you in a completely different bracket. I explained that most people use the same kind of model, albeit subconsciously, in making decisions. And, as Gaby so rightly just pointed out, a default that took away her choices through no fault of her own would be like a forfeit, and much harder to accept.”

While Dave and Jenny seemed to understand the analogy now, Jules still had a somewhat confused look on her face

“Does that make sense Juliette?” Karen asked.

“Errmm. Yes, kind of. So by Gaby making the decision to be Gaby, she closed off the possibilities of Drew. And the decisions about hormones and things like that. But she opened up all the possibilities for being Gaby and everything that may happen because of that.”

“Exactly!” Karen continued, “This way, Gaby was able to make her decision without feeling forced by the result from the androgen receptor study. As she indicated, having that knowledge could well have caused her to make a decision just to fight it, rather than what she felt. While normally we would prefer to allow a patient to make their decision based on complete information, I convinced Dr. Maggie that in this case, withholding it would allow Gaby a freer choice.”

“Thank you, Dr. Karen. I’m glad you did.” chimed in Gaby.

Maggie now took up the discussion again. “Now Gaby, we did discuss some of the options to correct things surgically with your mum and dad, and Dr. Page sent your medical file to a colleague of hers who is a surgeon specializing in SRS. Perhaps we should have consulted with you before taking this step, but Karen and I felt it was in your interest to get the outside opinion so we could present a more complete list of the potential options available to you.”

Maggie nodded to Karen, who then took up the reins of the conversation. “I got a response to my enquiry with the SRS surgeon just before we came in. After reviewing the case notes that I had sent to him, he said that while the needed surgery would be fairly lengthy and delicate he felt he could do the work at least as well if not better than anyone else he could refer you to. It is not common surgery, as he would be reconnecting things rather than constructing. He also indicated that due to the seriousness of the situation, he would place himself on call to do the surgery at any time, should you decide to take advantage of his services.” She paused then, “His thought is that the surgery would be about four to five hours, of which most would be in the external cosmetic work. As indicated, that while your case is serious, the actual reconnective work may not be that difficult. He also guessed that since the surgery might well be less invasive in many ways, your overall recovery time might be faster than typical of his SRS patients.”

Jenny then asked, “What IS the typical recovery period, and what does it entail?”

“The usual amount of time spent at his clinic is fourteen days from start to finish for a standard SRS patient. He believes that between Gaby’s youth, general fitness level and the work that he has to do; that it is possible that it could be down to seven to ten days before she will be ready to go home where she will continue healing.”

Looking at the whole family she continued “Surgery is never to be undertaken lightly, and this is something you need to talk about as a family, I’m sure. As you think and talk through things, you will likely come up with a number of questions. Rather than interrupt discussion, if you write them down, we can cover them after we come back together. Of course, if you run into something that is stopping you from moving forward, don’t hesitate to ask then.”

Karen paused, “I will tell you that I did not get into the details of the surgery as that is not my specialty, but I have every confidence in Pierre. As a result, I cannot answer detailed questions there, but Dr. Maggie should be able to provide you with some general details on what to expect. I can tell you that Pierre is truly a caring surgeon, and is truly committed to helping his patients.”

Karen paused again, and looked at each of the Bonds, “I have a couple of tasks for all of you this evening. First I want you to all go out for a nice dinner and spend some family time together. And, yes, that means that you will get out of here for a while, Gaby.” Karen smiled, and continued, “After that, I would like you all to sit down and talk about all that you have discovered and we have discussed today. I don’t expect you to come to any decisions tonight. Even if you did, I’d ask you to sleep on them. Don’t forget to make a list of questions, and don’t leave out the trivial. I truly believe that in cases like this there is no such thing as too much information, and there is definitely no such thing as a stupid question. Who knows, it may be the question you feel is obvious, or trivial, that provides one of you with the key you need to be able to help come to the best decision.”

Dr. Maggie joined in. “Gaby will need to be here for testing in the morning, so we expect to see her, and probably the rest of you at 9:00 am. I’ll not impose a curfew I can’t enforce, but Gaby does need a good night’s sleep, she’s been through a lot, so all of you, get a good night’s sleep and we’ll see you in the morning.”

Jen answered for all of them, replying “That sounds fine doctors. Dave and I want to spend some time with our newest daughter, and we could all use the time to talk and rest.”

“Very well then, Gaby, you get out of jail for the rest of the day with your family. Tomorrow Gaby, would you wear exercise clothes please?”

Gaby agreed, and Dr. Maggie quickly went over the discharge papers. Once all was signed, Gaby grabbed her mum’s hand, and tugged her toward the door.

“Hold on, sport, do you know where you’re going?”

“Umm, out?”

“Yes, but which way?”

Gaby stopped, then, “Okay, you lead mum.” Turning back to the doctors, “See you tomorrow Dr. Maggie and Dr. Karen.”

And with that, the Bond family headed out of the hospital.

Chapter 10

It's not easy love, but you've got friends you can trust,
Friends will be friends,
When you're in need of love they give you care and attention,
Friends will be friends,
When you're through with life and all hope is lost,
Hold out your hand cos friends will be friends right till the end

Friends Will Be Friends – Queen

As the family left the hospital, Gaby was a bit like a hyperactive squirrel. She was zipping around the other three, bouncing to and fro, bubbling with a joy that she had not shown during her last weeks in Grottoes.

While outwardly she appeared to be the same person she’d seen in the mirror every time she had, since arriving here, inside she truly felt like a different person. Not so much different, as free. Free, yes that was it. No more hiding or dissembling; no more having to worry about who she was wherever she was.

~o~O~o~

Elsewhere, things were not quite so rosy.

While Gaby and her family were leaving the hospital, back in Grottoes, Brit and Deb were in their room, having been ‘sentenced’ to house arrest while their parents discussed things – most notably their punishment.

“We’re in deep doo doo..” sighed a worried Brit.

“What’s this ‘we’? Okay, so I didn’t stop you, and went along with telling the ‘rents that Gaby was a girl, but this was your idea and you know it! When mum and dad start talking to the others and figure this out, I’ll get punished for not saying anything.” Deb sighed, but then, her anger at where things had gotten came out “But, you’ll be lucky to see the outside of this house before you turn 18.” Then, pausing to think about it, and sounding a bit fearful, “I’m not so sure that mom was kidding about sending us to school as boys for as long as Drew had to be a girl here.”

“It was just supposed to be a harmless joke; you know that. I never thought...”

“That’s just it Brit, you never think,” her sister interrupted. “For you, it was a prank. You know that all you care about is how funny the prank is to you. I can’t think of one time where you gave one whit about how much it might have hurt the target. Come on, how do you think Gabs felt when you wouldn’t even hang around her in school because ‘she’ was a lesbian? She went along with everything to try and make sure that we didn’t get into trouble for not telling the ‘rents that Drew was a boy, then at school you go and make her a complete social outcast with all of the kids in your year by ‘outing’ her as a lesbian. How do you think she felt when you wouldn’t even hang around her in school or even talk to her because ‘she’ was a lesbian? Do you really think she didn’t notice that you never went out with your friends because you’d have to include her? Well, she did! I know that she overheard you talking to Casey more than once and that she wasn’t wanted. Did you even think or care about her feelings or were you more interested in being part of the ‘in’ crowd and getting on Casey’s good side?”

Deb’s voice has risen a fair bit, and while she wasn’t shouting at her sister, her voice could certainly be heard throughout the house.

“Somehow you decided that having Drew BE Gaby just wasn’t enough for you. Nooo, instead you set her up to be discovered or hurt too many times to count. Were you just bored or something?” Deb paused then, “You know? Since we took Drew to the hospital and talked with Dr. Maggie, I’ve been thinking about this Valentine’s dance. The more I think about it, it looks like one more attempt to put Gaby into a situation, one that THIS TIME, maybe she couldn’t get out of.”

“What? I-I don’t know what you mean,” Britney whined as she tried in vain to back away from her sister.

“Don’t pull that crap that on me! I saw all you were doing to get mom to make her go to the dance. I also heard that ‘certain arrangements’ had been made to make her change her mind about boys ‘one way or the other’. Now, we both know exactly what that means, don’t we?

“Sis…” was all Britney managed to get out before Debbie angrily interrupted her.

“Don’t ‘sis’ me! You know damn well what the boys are like.”

Britney’s squirming, under her sister’s anger became more pronounced.

“Did you even stop to think what would have happened if some of the boys did discover her secret?” Deb paused a moment before continuing, “She’d have been lucky if all they did was kill her.”

“Stop it!” Britney tearfully pleaded as she held her hands over her ears so she wouldn’t have to listen to any more.

Forcefully grabbing her sister’s hands and holding them away from her head, Debbie continued as if Brit’s plea never happened. “When we took Drew to the hospital, the only thing you were really worried about was your little scheme being discovered when Mom started talking to people! It’s as if he was just a new toy for you to play with, when it was convenient.”

Drawing a breath, she continued “For your information, Drew already figured out that you and Maddy had set this whole thing up before they ever left England” She took another breath, and noticeably forced herself to relax. “Don’t worry sis, you won’t take all the blame. I’m going to go and tell Mom and everything … starting with telling them about Drew being a boy and how I stood by and let you go ahead with this ‘harmless joke’, as you call it. I’ll have earned their anger, but that’ll hurt a damn sight less than knowing I let you and Maddy put Drew into a coma and did nothing!

“Apparently, the only peace Gaby had was either when she was with Jules or on her bike and you seemed to have managed to make sure you took that away from her too.” At Brit’s blank expression, she spelled it out for her. “Since she’s in the hospital, it’s not likely that she’ll make her big race in Atlanta with Erin now, is it?”

Britney first thought she’d get a little sympathy with her sister, but now she wanted to be anywhere but here. Debbie literally had her backed against a wall as she lectured her sister.

“Way to go, sis. You happy now?” Debbie sarcastically demanded as she leaned menacingly close to Britney’s face.

Seeing she really wasn’t getting through, and, perhaps just realizing it for herself, “Chrissakes Brit, do you realize that Drew’s parents could probably have Maddy, us and everyone else involved charged by the police? There’s no way any of us could say we didn’t put Drew in danger! You didn’t think of that, either … did you?”

Getting no apparent reaction out of Brit, Deb shook her head, and closed the door as she left the room. She squared her shoulders and went down the stairs looking for her parents to come clean.

Behind her, Brit was far from the care free person her sister thought she’d left. What Deb had mistaken for indifference was, instead, bewilderment. She was emotionally shaken and as her sisters words sank in, tears began to drip down Britney’s face, she began to see that everything had gone so wrong. It was just a joke after all. No one was supposed to get hurt.

Only problem was, no one was laughing this time. The unwitting subject of her little prank was now in the hospital in a coma. As Britney sat pondering the last few weeks, she recalled it wasn’t totally her idea and began to figure that she shouldn’t be made to take all the credit. Maddy had e-mailed her weeks ago, just after the trip to Grottoes was announced, and hinted they bring Gaby to Grottoes and leave Drew behind. She’ jumped at the idea, not just because it would make things easier with the ‘rents, but because it sounded fun. As she thought that, she realized that while Maddy may have had the original idea, taken the idea and ran with it. Only, she wasn’t having much fun with Gaby calmly adapting to any situations they imposed upon her. So of course, she and Maddy, with the willing help of Em had upped the ante. They had started to look for places and situations where they could increase the chance that Drew could get ‘discovered’.

Both Maddy and Em knew all the right buttons to push when it came to Drew. The three of them had been friends for so long that Drew was ‘easy pickings’. However, as ‘Gaby’ skated through every situation she’d been put through, the three of them just became more determined to carry out their plans.

Though, as she thought about it, Maddy and Em hadn’t really been pushing so hard. Most of the push was hers, as much as the other two had willingly helped when they knew about things. Britney knew this time she had truly gone too far, and the full weight of all she had done was just beginning to sink in. The more she thought about the Valentine’s Dance, the more she began to appreciate the serious consequences that Drew would have to face, once he was discovered. She’d grown up with many of the boys in school and she knew what they were like when it came to gays. Just thinking about it caused her to visibly shudder.

She then started to think about the wonderful times they had all had on the Warsop trip. Then she started comparing that with Gaby’s Grottoes experience. Relatively speaking, it was more like a nightmare than the wonderful trip it was supposed to be. The trips couldn’t even be compared, really.

The tears were running faster now, looking for the world like little rivers running down her face.

What have I done? Is Deb right? Have I just been using Gaby as a play toy? She thought about this for a while. How did it get this far, and go so wrong? It was just a silly little, harmless joke. Drew seemed okay with Gaby in Warsop, why should it be different here? Fool mom and dad for a few weeks and tell them later that they actually had a boy staying here the whole time. That’s all it was going to be. What went wrong?”

“Maddy!” The name suddenly popped into her head.

"She kept upping the ante. Playing ‘mind games’ with Drew as she called it and like an idiot, I kept trying to top her.

Why did she want Gaby here the whole time anyways and what was all that crap with Sam? Was she trying to make him jealous or was she pushing for something else? I know there was the whole cheer thing, but I think we could have come up with a story to cover that somehow.

At the Cheer Competition, Maddy and Em kept pushing Gaby until she finally broke. I couldn’t believe that she would just walk away from the Cheer Squad, particularly after they had just won, but then again, looking at what we’ve put her through over the past few weeks I guess I really can’t blame her.

Who am I kidding? I could’ve stopped any time, and not kept going with Maddy and Em. But I didn’t. I just kept at it. I have nobody but myself to blame for my problems right now. Then, she thought about Drew some more, and that he was in the hospital, Not that my problems amount to squat compared to Drew’s.

I put someone, who considered me, a friend in the hospital! What kind of a person does that make me? Am I really a conniving bitch? She sat, thinking about what the previous weeks and her actions said about her.

Then, realizing she was thinking more about herself than Drew, I’ve messed things up so bad for Drew, and to some extent Jules, too. I wonder if there’s anything I can do to make things better. I know there’s no way to fix things, I just hope Drew gets better. She decided, then, that no matter what her parents decided her punishment would be, she would find some way to fix things; maybe not for Drew, but in general. And, she’d learn to be a better person. Starting with, NO MORE PRANKS, PERIOD!

Brit slumped back in her bed, deep in thought, silently crying.

~o~O~o~

Elsewhere in Grottoes, things were not a whole lot better.

Ally and Bern were also having a hard time coming to grips with things. They were feeling very guilty about what had happened and were talking through all of the things that they knew Gaby endured during her time in Grottoes. Although they weren’t guilty of anything except perhaps being normal teens and oblivious to much that was going on around them, they still felt some measure of responsibility.

“Bern, we messed up.” Sighing, “We really let Drew down. Standing around and watching this happen to him while back in Mr. Woods’ office, the day the Foresters found out about the Cheer Comp, we promised Drew that we’d look out for both him and Rhod if they would be Gaby and Em for the competition.”

“Yeah, I know. I was having so much fun doing stuff and getting to know the kids here that I didn’t pay attention to what was going on with Drew. I guess, since he never complained, until the end, I just assumed he was having as much fun as the rest of us.”

“Me too. He did seem to be okay. I mean, I had no clue that he had no one else besides us and her biking friends here … that is until we all started comparing notes the last day or so. I thought that Brit and Deb would’ve been including them when they went out with their friends, like we have with our hosts.” She paused, thinking, “It sounds like Deb did include Jules, but by the sounds of it, I don’t think Brit was including Gabs. I just don’t get it. They seemed such good friends in Warsop.”

“Yeah,” Bern returned.. “I just don’t understand Maddy and Em. Honestly, the way they treated Gabs at the Competition is unbelievable. You sure that’s not the only time they’ve done it? I mean, she had to be really stressed just keeping up Gaby, not letting Brit and Deb’s ‘rents find out about Drew and all. Having those two taking a go at her every time she turned around was just plain cruel.”

“Yeah, a lot of times. I told Em ‘good-bye’ at the comp, because of how she’s treated Gabs and I on the trip. I feel like I just don’t know Em or Rhod anymore. Rhod was Drew’s best mate, and Em should know exactly what Gaby’s going through, but that doesn’t seem to matter a tic. I tell you Bern, I’m done with both Maddy and Em.”

Ally started to cry, but she knew in her heart that this was what she needed to do. The way she saw Gaby being treated by Em had shown a side of Rhod that Ally really didn’t like.

“Bern?” she sniffled “Why was everything okay at home, but it wasn’t here?” It’s not Gaby that’s changed. She’s the same person we knew at home, it’s us that’ve changed. It’s like none of us were willing to stand out from the crowd be her friend for fear we’d get treated badly.”

She paused, realizing what she’d just said. “That brings us back to the question, why didn’t any of us notice what was happening to us and to Gabs?”

“I dunno. I guess we all got so wrapped up in the experience of being here in America and trying to fit in with the families and the kids at AHS that I think we kinda forgot who our real friends are. I know that we’d never leave Drew or Gabs out from stuff at home, but we did here.”

Bern sighed heavily. “I admit that I didn’t think of Gabs very often when we were going out, whether it was with the gang, the kids here or even host events. To be honest, it makes me sick knowing that I did that. I just wish I knew what we knew after talking with Dr. Maggie, and Mrs. W. Until then, I hadn’t really put together some of the stuff Mad and Em had been putting Gabs through.”

“You and me both. I’m so angry with the two of them I could just spit! I mean, Mad has done her best to mess with Gabs’ brain. She’s nice to her – like back when we were home - when it’s just the gang, but when anyone else is near, it’s like she’s a different person and she does her best to push Gabs as far away as possible without any concern about her feelings.”

“Then we have sweet, innocent, little Em…” Ally vented with all the sarcasm she could muster. “I’d love to see how she likes what she’s been putting Drew through.”

“You can always go up to her at school and give her a big fat kiss, tell her it’s over, and walk away. See how she likes being branded a lesbian,” Bernie playfully tossed out.
“Hmmm … I like how you think,” Ally mischievously replied as she stared off into space and thoughtfully wagged her finger. “Naw … hell can freeze over before I do much talking to either of them.”

“Ever notice how comfortable Em was hiding her secret? I mean, she never said anything to me about it, but she changed with all the other girls after PE and nobody said anything, so she had to have done something and I know Gabs still had to use the privacy stalls to change. If Em was such a good friend to Gaby, you’d have thought that she would’ve helped her out and shared the secret of her secret.”

“You know you’re right!” Bernie sounded as if they just made a huge discovery. “She was able to change with all the other girls around and there weren’t any raised brows or anything. She certainly couldn’t do that at home.”

“Yeah. Back home, most of the time, she was racing Gabs to the loo after cheer practice, to change” Ally quipped.

“That means that she had to find a way to do it here. And keeping that from Gaby is pretty low. I bet you Mad knows how Em did it. The two of them have been pretty chummy since coming here. Why she didn’t say anything to Gaby.”

“I’d like to…” Ally’s anger started to boil over when Bernie stepped in.

“Chill, girl. I know exactly how you feel about not talking to them, but let’s just try and be civil to them for now. We’ve only got a week to go. If you feel you need to end it with Rhod, I won’t blame you, but that’s for you to decide. You know you’ll have my support – I think she’s been an absolute cow as well.”

Bernie watched Ally visibly take control of herself. “I’ll still be civil to Maddy, but just barely. But, you know, I have a sick feeling that she planned this whole thing.”

“Watcha mean?” She responded, her anger at least temporarily under control.

“Like how come Brit never told her ‘rents that Drew was a boy? We both know Maddy was e-mailing Brit all winter…”

“Yeah,” Ally thoughtfully agreed.

“…And who pushed ‘Gaby’ to be on the Cheer Team? Maddy and Em that’s who.”

“Hmmm … I’d forgotten that.”

“And Remember Sports Day last year? When Maddy didn’t have a partner for doubles, it was Gaby that showed up.”

“Putting it like that, it almost sounds like Maddy’s actually been trying to turn Drew into Gaby or something. That’s actually kind of creepy!” Ally replied with a small shudder.

“What I can’t figure out, is why she’s so mean to Gaby if she’s trying to get Drew to become Gaby. That doesn’t make a lot of sense. Unless she is just playin’ mind games for shits and giggles. At least, that’s what I’m beginning to think, anyway,” Bernie theorized.

“That makes way too much sense,” Ally agreed. “And, it kinda puts a different light on what Em’s been doing, doesn’t it?” She paused, then “I still don’t like what Rhod’s done and I’ve already told him I’m stepping back. And, the more I think of it, I’m not defending Em in any way..it’s possible that Maddy could’ve been pulling Em’s strings just as well, I guess.”

“We saw how she tormented Drew with Sam, so messing with Em isn’t too much of a stretch. I still feel like shite for not stepping in when she was doing some of that to Drew, though.”

“You’re not the only one,” Ally quietly lamented.

Over at Miss Bell’s house, two of the adults were piecing together some of what had gone wrong. Fran and Jessica were having a frank talk the previous week’s events and where they had all gone so wrong as to end up putting Drew into the hospital. Both were feeling guilty for not stepping in more firmly.

“Jessica, I don’t know about you, but I had no idea that things were this bad for Gaby. I knew she’d finally had enough at the Cheer Competition, but to have pushed her to this? Anytime I asked her about how she was doing she would simply say she was fine and would carry on until the end of the trip and from what Jules has intimated, this trip was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“What do you mean?”

Fran thought about things she’d seen back in Warsop and what Jules had told her. “Apparently, some stressful things had been going on for some time back at home. I feel so terribly responsible for this whole mess.”

“I thought it was Maddy and Em?”

“But, I was the one who asked her to be Gaby for the competition. You know that she’d tried resigning from the Cheer Squad before we even came over.” Fran let out a long sigh. “To make things worse, she told me, two or three days in, that Brit and Deb hadn’t told their parents that Drew was a boy. I could have stopped it then. But by then, everyone at AHS thought she was a girl, and I honestly thought, at that point, it might have done more harm than good to try and set everyone straight.”

“That IS possible, given what all has happened.” rejoined Jessica.

“You saw how the other students were treating her when they thought she was a girl and the rumors about her started passing around? Now imagine what sort of target would have been painted on her back if we’d then told everyone she was really a boy?” Fran continued making her point.

“Mm-hmm. You have a point. Unfortunately there is a lot of intolerance here regarding the LGBT.” replied Jessica. “And at best, with the Cheer Competition she’d have been looked upon as some sort of weirdo, if they’d have even let her compete.,” Jessica admitted.

“Why didn’t any of us notice that all she had was her biking and school to look forward to? I can only imagine what it felt like to come on a trip like this, what with her mum in the hospital and then having to be a girl the whole time she was here. Those are stresses an adult would quail at, let alone a teenager.

The more I think about it, the more I’m beginning to think that Jocelyn Walters was right. Each of us had our own self-serving excuses for letting things happen. We were willfully blind about what she was going through, because it let us have what thought we needed by only allowing Gaby on this trip. We all took advantage of Drew’s good nature.”

Sighing, “Maybe you’re right,” Jessica remarked.

Fran suddenly sat up straight, “I just thought of something, Jess…”

“What’s that?”

“Maddy and Em were putting Gaby in situations where her secret could be uncovered, right?”

“From what we’ve learned in the last couple of days, I’d say that was true.”

“Then why wasn’t Rhod worried about being discovered? If Drew could’ve been discovered in any one of those situations, you’d think it would’ve been the same for Em. But, that doesn’t appear to be the case. I think it’s high time we paid a visit to him and find out why HE wasn’t worried about that.” Fran paused a moment, “I also want to know why she didn’t share this information with Drew.”

“Ummm. I don’t think we need to ask HIM that question. I need to make a few calls to make sure, but I think I know why Em wasn’t worried. As to why she didn’t share this with Drew; I’ve no answer. But, since she could pass as ‘one of the girls’ in the locker room then somebody helped her with some awfully good prosthetics.” Jessica paused, “You can think of the other things you want to ask Rhod and enjoy your wine. I’ll make those calls I mentioned, then we can go and see Em.”

“Anything you can find out …” A frustrated Fran raised her glass in acknowledgement. Then, to herself, “What the hell was Maddy thinking?” She sat back sipping.

Jessica went out to the kitchen to make her calls in privacy. As she punched in the number, she tried to think of some way to delicately bring up what she needed. As there was no answer on the first number she dialed, and not wanting to leave a message, she dialed a second number.

The other party picked up after a single ring, “Hello?”

“Hi Mary, its Jessica. I was looking for Sandy, and nobody answered on her line. By any chance, is she there?”

“Oh, hi Jess. I think she’s and Em are downstairs. Would you like me to get her?”

“If you would, please … and would you mind not telling her who’s calling? I don’t want Em to know I’m speaking with Sandy … at least not right yet. I’ll explain it all to you later.”

Jessica could almost hear the question in Mary’s voice, “All right, but I’ll be expecting that explanation later.”

“Ohhh, I think we are going to have to have a long talk about a few things.”

As Jessica waited for Sandy to come to the phone, she thought about the questions she needed to ask. She thought she already knew the likely answers. She almost hoped she was wrong, because if she were right it would likely end with Em being sent home immediately and perhaps Maddy as well. She wasn’t looking forward to breaking the news to Fran, if she was right.

“Hello?”

“Sandy, it’s Jess. Sorry to be cryptic, but are you alone?”

“Ummm, yeah.” Sandy replied, not really understanding Jessica’s reason for asking. “I’m in the kitchen, Mom’s with Kevin and Em’s downstairs in the basement playing a video game.”

“Good. I need to ask you a rather delicate question, but. I don’t want you to mention this call to Em right now.”

“Umm-mm, okay.”

“I don’t want to get personal, but I’m afraid I need to ask you a question. Did you get some prosthetics for Em so she could ‘pass’?”

Jess could hear the questioning in Sandy’s voice, “Yes. I knew after meeting her for the first time that she was like me. When I asked her, she told me all about it. But how did you know? She said she wasn’t going to tell anyone.”

“She couldn’t have changed with the other girls in gym class otherwise, could she?”

“No that’s true. What is this all about Jess?”

“In a minute, Sandy. One more question. Did anyone else know about this?”

“Maddy was with us when we went to get Em fitted. Why?”

”You know Gaby’s in hospital, don’t you?”

“Umm, yeah. It’s the biggest news around here in months. Em mentioned it and it’s all the kids in the diner have been talking about for the last couple of days.”

“Did either Em or Maddy happen to tell you that Gaby’s name is really Drew … as in Andrew?” She heard Sandy’s breath suck in, and knew she’d not been told or guessed. “Without going into details, because of some ‘manipulating’, for lack of a better word, he’s been put into a position of passing as Gaby for the length of their visit and been living in fear of discovery for the past five weeks because neither of those two shared this information with their friend?”

“She’s WHAT?!” Sandy’s barked.

“As I understand it, there are some medical issues being checked out back in England because of the way he’s developing. However, all of the younger kids from Warsop know about Drew and Gaby as do Brit and Deb. As of this morning Mr. and Mrs. Walters also know. Apparently Brit thought it would be quite the practical joke not to tell her parents that Drew was actually a boy. That in turn forced Drew to pass as Gaby day and night since he got here. According to the doctors, it was too much to expect of a thirteen year old and Gaby just shut down.”

“You’re not kidding about this are you, Jess?” Sandy couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“Do you hear me laughing Sandy?” Jessica replied in a deadpan voice. “For the moment I just need to know one more thing. If you had known, would you have made arrangements to help Gaby out as well?”

“Of course I would have! You know I’d never knowingly put anyone in a position to be outed!”

“I certainly thought I knew that, but, given the seriousness of Gaby’s situation, I just had to hear it from you,” Jessica softly answered.

“So, both of them knew and never said anything to me. Could they’ve been simply trying to protect her and not to out her? I mean, that doesn’t sound like the Em I’ve been living with for five weeks.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t think of any other explanation for what’s happened.” Jessica took a breath and sighed. “Look, I have to go and discuss this with Fran … you know, Miss Cowlishaw. May I have your permission to discuss our conversation with her? I promise it’ll go no further than Fran, and it is very important Sandy.”

“I know you wouldn’t even ask if it wasn’t. I’m not really thrilled about it because you’ll probably have to mention why I know this stuff. But, I trust your judgement. I appreciate you telling me about Gaby. I know that had to be a difficult decision for you.”

“It was; thank you.” Jessica hesitated, then realized she had to ask Sandy. “One last thing, please don’t tell Em about our discussion, for now, please?”

“I can’t believe she’d intentionally hurt her friend. But, okay. I’ll not tell Em what this was all about, for now.”

“I’m really sorry to ask, you to do that, but I think it’s important for now.” Then, realizing that Drew might be returning, “Oh, and I know they only have a week to go, but is there any way to make similar arrangements to help Gaby out?”

“Just let me know.” Came Sandy’s quick response. “You know I’d help, if I could. I still can’t believe…” Her voice trailed off at the end.

“All right. Thanks again. I need to go and speak to Fran now.”

“Bye, Jessica.”

As she hung up the kitchen phone, Jessica let out a loud audible sigh. What could have been going Em and Maddy’s minds? Why didn’t they help Gaby when they both knew there was a way that would make her appear more convincing than she already is? No, it’s worse than that. It now really appears that they have been intentionally putting her into positions where she could easily have been outed. Best get this over with. As much as I expected this answer, I was hoping I was wrong. It will NOT be fun telling Fran that two of her kids were doing this to a third.

Seeing the corked wine bottle on the counter, Jessica was about to pour herself another glass, when she realized that Fran would probably need it as much as she did. Picking the bottle up, she headed out to the living room, to acquaint Fran with what she’d learned. Why couldn’t I have been wrong?

Meanwhile, Fran was sitting in the living room staring into her glass of wine and wondering how things went so drastically wrong. Looking up as Jessica came back into the room. “So, were you able to learn anything?”

Chapter 11

“Much more than I wanted to, I’m afraid…” Jessica somberly replied as she sat down and set the wine bottle on the coffee table between them.

“That bad, huh? Fran cautiously joked upon seeing another full bottle of wine. “Ummm … exactly what did you mean … ‘more than you wanted to’?”

“First, I have to explain something that I need you to keep to yourself. Only a very few people in Grottoes know about this and as you’ve seen the bigotry in this county firsthand, you’ll understand why it is important to keep it that way.”

“Of course, Jessica.”

“I know you will, Fran … but I just had to say it,” Jessica quietly admitted.

“I’m listening,” Fran prompted.

“Okay … there is a pre-op transsexual living here in town. In fact, she was the one who helped Em by arranging for her prosthetics.”

“How did she learn about Em?” Fran wondered.

“In this case, I think it would’ve been impossible for her not to find out. Em’s staying with her.”

“Sandy? I never would have guessed!”

“Now you know why it has to be kept secret. I suspect there’s more than a few folks around here that wouldn’t be too happy with Sandy or Mary if it became common knowledge. I can only guess Sandy recognized a kindred spirit when she met Em and they naturally bonded.”

“Easy to understand why she did it, Jess. I think if I was in her position and came across someone else who needed my help I’d do the same thing,” Fran firmly stated.

”Sandy says that Maddy was with them when she took Em to get fitted. She also said that neither of them told her about Gaby. What I find it interesting, is that all this happened before Gaby started to be put into all of these ‘uncomfortable situations’. From the timing, one can only presume that they had an agenda.”

“It would seem that’s the case.”

“I know Fran,” Jessica quietly lamented. “I just can’t see how friends could intentionally put another friend in the kind of situation where they could get killed.

Right now, I think we need to pass this information on to Gaby’s doctors. After all, we were asked for any relevant information we happened to come across, and I think that this certainly qualifies. I think it also means that Em maybe needs to have a chat with Maggie to explain her role in all of this.”

“I’m like you, Jess. I simply don’t understand how two of my students could act that way. I think we should get this cleared up as soon as possible and see Em tonight. I’ll have to inform Michael, sometime tonight, as well. This could well have the two of them on their way home to Warsop within the next 48 hours.”

“I think we need to find out more before you phone Mr. Woods.” Jessica cautioned.

“You’re right of course, Jess. I guess phoning him would be a bit premature at this point.” Fran thought about their next move while slowly put her wineglass down and then stood up.

“Well, no use putting this off any longer. We might as well go see Em right now and pass whatever information we get onto the doctors and then they can decide what to discuss with Gaby and her family. We’ll just have to deal with any fallout as best we can.”

“C’mon, let’s get our coats and get going, then. I agree that we really need to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible and I really want to find out who, if any, AHS students were a party to all of this,” Jessica commented as she took the wine glasses out to the kitchen.

While the two teachers went to put on their coats, in another home in Grottoes a rather intense conversation was just about to begin.

Sandy was completely stunned by what Jessica told her. When she put the phone back on its cradle, she turned and quietly sat, blankly staring at the wall. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard.

“Gaby was actually male, and both Em and Maddy knew that, yet they didn’t say anything about it to me when they both knew I would’ve happily helped Gaby out. They’d also apparently had been playing some sort of games with Gaby, that in this town could have gotten her killed. If not killed, then certainly beaten very badly.”

What bothered Sandy the most is the fact that they didn’t seem to care. Equally troubling was that this Em, this side of Em, was so unlike the girl she knew and had grown to love like a sister. The more she tried to come to grips with things, the more betrayed she felt and it wasn’t long before she felt the first tears rolling down her cheek.

“I know that Jessica didn’t want me to talk to Em about it right now, or even let her know that I know what’s happening, but I have to.

I’ve got to find out why she wouldn’t want me to help out another person and I really have to know why she felt it was okay for her and Maddy to torment Gaby like they did. If some of those high school boys had found Gaby out, the results could’ve been tragic.”

After Sandy wiped the tears from her face, she got up from her chair and headed back down the basement stairs to talk with Em. When she entered the large rec-room, Em was sitting on the floor leaning back against the couch, playing her video game, completely unaware of what was to come.

Em looked up from her game and smiled at Sandy.

“So, was it a boy looking for a date?”

“No Em, actually it was Jessica Bell.”

“About the dance decorations?”

“Nope, nothing about the dance. She was calling about Drew,” Sandy quietly replied while exercising more than some restraint.

Em visibly tensed. She knew that no one had ever told Sandy that Gaby’s real name was Drew. Panic and a guilty conscience started to set in as Em couldn’t help wondering what else Sandy knew.

“Oh?” Em weakly replied while trying to appear as if nothing was wrong.

“So Em, why didn’t you tell me there was someone else that could have used my help?”

“I … ummm…” Sandy quickly cut her off with more rapid-fire questions.

“Why didn’t either you or Maddy bother to tell me that Gaby was actually male and why in God’s name have the two of you been putting her in potentially dangerous situations? Do you have any frikking clue as to what could have happened if she’d been found out?!”

“Well…”

Sandy again, angrily cut her off before she could respond.

“Let me tell you what could have happened! She could have been killed! As in dead!

Christ, Em … right this minute I’m wondering if I even know you at all. Up until now I’ve looked at you like a little sister. A little sister I have come to love. But this?!”

“But, but…Sandy…we were just playing a few pranks on Drew. You know, just for a few laughs.”

“PRANKS?!! You call deliberately putting another human being in harm’s way a prank?! Did either of you give any thought at all to the consequences of what you were doing? Obviously not if you damned well kept doing it!

Do you have any idea how many trans women are beaten, raped or killed each year just because they’re trans and the wrong person finds that out?! Do you?!”

After she heard herself shout at Em, Sandy knew she had to calm down before she completely lost it. She stood in silence, glaring down at ‘her sister’. After several minutes of coldly staring at her prey, a calmer Sandy decided to speak again.

“Your ‘just a few laughs’ has managed to put a friend of yours in the hospital … in a coma. You feel like laughing now? You can be damned sure that Gaby and her family, aren’t laughing! I can’t imagine what they’re going through, in England, while Gaby’s lying in a hospital bed over here.

Did you think about that, Em? Did you think about having to face Gaby’s family after all of this or was it just too big of a damned laugh to even consider that?!

What if all the ‘pranking’ you, Maddy and Brit did, causes her to stay that way and not ever wake up? What then? What if these so-called friendly pranks that you and Maddy played, permanently messed her up?”

“Sandy, I admit I went along with the pranks, but we all used to play jokes on each other, and Drew and I have been best mates for a long time.

“Went along with them?!! I know darned well you instigated a few of them, so DON’T try to skate around your responsibility in all this by telling me that you were merely going along with the others!

…And furthermore, there really aren’t that many others are there? There’s really only you, Maddy and Brit, right?”

“Ummm… errrrr … yes.” squeaked Em.

Em could see that Sandy was virtually incandescent with anger, but as she saw it, it was only a few friendly pranks on a chum. What was the harm in that after all?

Granted, it did seem to have gone way wrong, given that Drew was in the hospital, but that was an accident. No one really wanted to hurt Drew. It’s not like they set out to put him there.

“We didn’t do this on purpose, Sandy … honest! Do you really think that we’d do that to a friend?”

“Right now, I’m really beginning to wonder, Em! I helped you pass more convincingly and Maddy knew that, yet neither one of you bothered to share that with your friend and that really makes me wonder what you intended. It was okay for you, but it wasn’t okay for Drew? Is that what you’re telling me?”

Sandy’s voice was taking on a somewhat ominous tone at this point, and Em was getting a bit frightened.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying at all!”

“Then why didn’t you tell Drew? You knew I’d have helped him, just like I did with you…” Sandy pleaded, desperately seeking to understand the young girl seated in front of her.

“…Or were there other reasons?” Sandy’s dark implications were quite clear, even to Em.

Just then the doorbell rang.

“You’re lucky Em! Literally saved by the bell, but don’t think for one second that this conversation is finished, because it’s not!”

Sandy ran back upstairs to answer the door leaving Em to ponder her future.

“Shite. She’s right. We could have told Drew and helped him out. Why didn’t I tell him about this? Why was I such a cow to Drew? What if he never wakes up?

Oh my god, WHAT IF SHE NEVER WAKES UP?”

As Sandy went to answer the door, she was still white hot with rage.

“How could they?!! How twisted do you have to be to allow someone you call your best mate to potentially get killed for a practical joke?

Oh God, poor Drew. I can only imagine what he’s gone through, poor kid. I know I could’ve helped, if only to ease his mind … if I knew. WHY DIDN’T THEY TELL ME?!”

Sandy opened the door to find Jessica and Fran standing there.

“Hi Sandy, may Fran and I come in?”

“Absolutely!” replied Sandy with a bitter tone to her voice. “Sorry if I sound less than happy, but the way I feel right now, I think you should take Em with you when you leave.”

“Sandy … please,” Jessica quietly pleaded.

“I’m sorry Jessica, I know you asked me not to talk to Em about this, but after I hung up the phone I just lost it. She and Maddy could have easily have gotten Drew killed. At the very least, beaten to within an inch of his life.”

“Not if I have any say in the matter!” Jessica firmly declared. “Quite frankly, I would’ve been a little surprised if you didn’t talk to her.”

“I’ve heard the stories about other ‘girls’ who’ve been killed or beaten up merely for being themselves and I’ll not just stand by and watch, while someone puts the boots to another one only because they don’t like us.” Sandy’s usual calm demeanour was now a thing of the past.

Just then Mary quickly walked into the room and stood facing her daughter.

“Sandy! What’re you yelling about?! You’ll wake Kevin … and why is Em downstairs crying? What happened? Did you two have a fight?”

“No fight, Mom. Jessica and Fran will be taking Em with them when they leave. I told her that as far as I’m concerned, she’s no longer welcome here,” Sandy coolly stated.

“Excuse me?! Are you talking about the girl you’ve been calling your little sister for the past few weeks?”

“I was wrong! I could never have a sister like her. Did you know Gaby is actually ‘Andrew’ and has been forced to pass as Gaby for the past five weeks and they’ve been putting her in situations where she could possibly get outed?”

“Who are ‘they’?” Mary calmly demanded.

“Em and Maddy, “Sandy angrily shot back.

“Sandy … calm down. Your mother only asked a sim….” Jessica only got part of her thought verbalized before she was interrupted.

“You know as well as I do what would have happened if the Neanderthals in this town had discovered her. She’d have been lucky to escape with her life!” Sandy was showing no signs of cooling down.

“I don’t know for sure if Gaby is trans or not, but that isn’t the point here. The point here is the inexcusable behavior of both Em and Maddy and because of that, I no longer want Em in this house, Mom.”

Fran and Jessica remained silent as they watched the scene unfold between Sandy and her mother.

Mary was dumbstruck. She too had taken a real shine to Em and this hit her like a bolt out of the blue. However, she was able to keep her emotions in check and speak to Fran and Jessica in a normal tone of voice.

“Fran, Jessica … is this true?”

Jessica sighed heavily. “As far as we know at this point Mary, yes it’s true.”

“Gaby’s name is actually Drew and he has been passing as Gaby for the past five weeks. Jocelyn Walters took him into the hospital yesterday morning in a catatonic state according to the doctor. Apparently the stress of having to pass as Gaby for a very prolonged period and everything she had been put through, had been too much for him and he had a breakdown of sorts.

Juliette, his sister, told me she found him sitting on the bed rocking back and forth repeating over and over ‘Who is Gaby? Who is Drew Who am I’?

I’m afraid we all have some culpability in this sorry affair. But we, that being the Warsop and AHS teachers, had no idea as to some of what was going on, and how this trip had turned into a complete nightmare for Drew.

The reason we’re over here tonight is because of that phone call to Sandy earlier tonight. It had occurred to Fran and I a little earlier this evening that Em had no problems passing, even in a change room with the other girls, while Drew had still needed to change away from everyone else. That could only mean one thing … that Em had help to enable her to effortlessly pass.”

“What are you trying to say, Jessica?”

“I’m sorry Mary,” Jessica softly apologized. “What I’m trying to say is that Em is transgendered, quite probably transsexual and that Sandy not only knew this, but helped her out. Which by the way, we applaud her for.”

“Sandy, is this true?...”

“Yes, mother.”

“…And she knew about you?”

“Yes. We talked the first day she got here.”

Fran then picked up the tale.

“Now Mary, what you, and even you Sandy, don’t know is that at home in Warsop, Maddy is Drew’s girlfriend and Rhod or Em as you know her, is Drew’s best mate … er … friend. Right now we’re trying to figure out why neither of them told Sandy about Drew in light of what she did for Em or why nobody told Drew that there was a way to make his stay here in Grottoes easier.”

“We’d also like to find out why the two of them intentionally put Drew in situations where he could be discovered.” Jessica added.

“You say that Maddy and Em are Drew’s friends? That’s a strange example of friendship,” Mary voiced with disgust.

“Now you know why I’m so angry, Mom. You remember what happened to Tina when she was outed in Richmond. I told you then I wouldn’t let that ever happen again if there was something I could do to prevent it.”

“I can’t fault you, Sandy. You only did what was right,” Mary quietly mentioned while she nodded slowly.

Jessica and Fran looked at Sandy quizzically.

“Jess, Fran … Tina’s another girl I met when I was first figuring myself out. She’s an older transwoman who became kind of a mentor to me. She was outed at a Richmond club she had been going to for years, although she didn’t know it at the time. At the end of the evening when she was leaving to go home, she was confronted by a bunch of bigots in the parking lot. According to the police, there were at least 6 of them and they used clubs and knives on her.”

Sandy was looking down now, and was choking on a sob as she continued.

“Not that they investigated it very hard, anyways!...” Sandy continued bitterly. “…’Cause it was just a beating of “one of them freaks” by a bunch of good ol’ boys. When she was taken to the hospital, she’d have probably died if it hadn’t been for one doctor who actually had some training and understood.”

And in a very small voice, she continued “To this day I know that Tina often wishes they had let her die.”

Looking back at Fran and Jessica, and drawing some sort of hidden strength from her memories she went on.

“They broke almost half the bones in her body, carved up her face with a knife and then took that knife to her genitals. All for the crime of being different. Tina has never been the same.

So for me to find out about something like this just about sends me over the edge. I damned well know what happens if those type of people catch one of ‘us’ and then to find out one of ‘us’ put someone else in jeopardy absolutely sickens me.”

Mary stepped forward and motioned to the other three.

“Come, let’s all go into the kitchen. I’ll start a pot of coffee and we’ll discuss what we need to do. I understand Sandy’s reasoning, but I think we also have to consider everything before we decide what to do about Em.”

Em heard none of their conversation. She was still downstairs and feeling very nervous about her fate and her relationship with Sandy. Even if she had heard what was said, it was doubtful she would have understood it. Not because she was stupid, but because what was being discussed what so far outside her experience and worldview, that she could simply not comprehend anything like that. In her mind this had simply been a few pranks amongst friends.

Elsewhere, Gaby and her family were having a nice, quiet family dinner despite the restaurant being quite busy. Gaby had pronounced herself to be “absolutely famished” when the subject of a meal was brought up; so after an enquiry at the hotel front desk they had made their way to a local buffet restaurant.

The family had chit-chatted about inconsequential things on their way to dinner, having kind of an unspoken agreement to leave the weightier discussions until later. Gaby was happy to simply be surrounded by those that truly loved her and looked out for her. She did still want to talk to Jules about the times she helped in dressing up Drew, but for the moment that could wait. After all, it was her big sister that got her to the hospital and had stayed until mum and dad had shown up.

The others were focused more on Gaby’s physical health and what the other kids had put her through, with the actions of Maddy and Em being foremost in their thoughts.

Gaby was now on her third plate from the buffet, and was eyeing up the dessert station.

“Geeze, Gabs. You got a hollow leg or something?”

Gaby blushed at her sister`s comment.

“You know I haven`t eaten much in the last couple of days, Jules. Besides, after some of Mrs. W`s experiments early on, I kinda lost my appetite for a while.”

Jules winced and laughed at the same time, thinking back on some of the foods Mrs. W had served. Foods that were absolutely foreign to the two British girls,

“Yeah, okay Gabs, you have me there. The grits with orange juice and that sausage gravy with biscuits…” Jules shuddered with the memory.

Dave and Jenny were silently observing the interaction between the two girls. Their relationship was so natural and unforced, like they had been sisters forever.

“Well, you two … why don`t we have some dessert and then head back to the hotel? We’ve things we need to talk about tonight and your mum and I want to make it an early night since we all have to be back at the hospital early tomorrow.”

Jules and Gaby headed for the dessert station as their parents sat back drinking a cup of coffee. On a previous American tour with Team Apollinaris, Jenny learned that the concept of good cup of tea was pretty much unknown here, at least to most Brits.

“Jen, I know we don`t want to be too late tonight, but I think we need to talk about a number of topics, so that Gaby knows she has our full support.”

“Like what, luv?”

“Remember in the sessions with Karen and Maggie that we watched? Gaby was very upset at how Jules seemed to go along with dressing up Drew and then there were all the times we did the same thing. We need to talk to her about those and why they happened.

We also need to talk about where we go from here. We may have an idea, but I don’t think Gaby understands quite yet, that she is going to need to have surgery very soon ... then there are the implications of where we go from there.

Will we be able to continue living in Warsop and we have to consider all that’s happened to Gaby here. How will Maddy and Rhod actions here affect her ability to have a normal life in Warsop?

I think we owe it to the kids to try and give them as normal a life as possible and at the moment I’m not sure that will be possible in Warsop.

I think we’d also have to consider if there’d be any ramifications that would affect your cycling, because of Gaby.

“My, you have certainly been giving this a great deal of thought, haven’t you?”

“One more thing … Jules! We have to think about what’s best for her when we consider everything else,” Dave thoughtfully added.

Jenny thought about what Dave said, for a few moments before speaking.

“But this isn’t just about the three of us Dave. It’s also about you and what’s best for you. How would you feel about leaving your job at home, uprooting and starting all over again somewhere else if we had to move?”

“I realize it’s about all of us, darling. I guess I have never really clearly said this, but what makes me happiest is being with the three of you and seeing you happy and doing those things in life that fulfill you.

I can always find another job Jen. What I can never find again is another you and another family like we have.”

Dave’s simple statement and declaration of love brought tears to Jenny’s eyes. The all encompassing love her husband had for her and the girls was nothing short of amazing to her, given the events of the past few months.

“And to think I was ready to throw this all away just a short time ago. Damn, what a fool I was not to see what I had, and to try and deal with the cancer on my own. Maybe some of this heartache could have been avoided if I had just trusted this wonderful man that I married.”

Jenny leaned over and gave Dave a very tender kiss.

“Eeuwww! Gross! Get a room!” came the sounds from two voices behind them.

Dave waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and hugged his wife a little bit closer to him.

“We have one, remember?”

“Since you two have checked out the entire dessert selection, what do they have that your dad and I might like?” Jenny playfully wondered.

Gaby held up her plate, showing a bowl of rice pudding and some gooey chocolate thing. Jules had a piece of very dark chocolate cake and a couple of cookies on her plate.

“Well, that rice pud does look awful tempting…” said Dave “…and I know you love a chocolate cake, Jen. Shall I get us some?”

“Sure dear, you go ahead. Pick up something for the both of us.”

As Dave went to the dessert station, Jen just sat and looked fondly upon her two girls despite the fact that they were busily scarfing down dessert like they hadn’t seen food in a year or two.

“They are so alike, in so many ways. I wonder if that’s genetics or if Gaby has unconsciously been imitating her sister and we’ve just never noticed. Either way, they are both lovely girls. I’m really glad that she was allowed to make her decision before she was given the results. At least we know that the decision was all hers.

The question is how soon she has to have the surgery to correct everything. If she starts her period, we could be in serious trouble.”

Just then Dave came back with their dessert. Like Gaby, Dave had a big bowl of rice pudding for himself and a very rich-looking, piece of chocolate cake for Jenny.

As everyone tucked into their desserts, their thoughts were mostly running along the same lines. Except for Gaby, everyone was wondering what the next few weeks would bring. Like the cyclist she was, Gaby was thinking about the race she was supposed to ride in, on the weekend.

Chapter 12

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (yeah, yeah I know – but the writer of this fine story has always wanted to say that) Fran, Jessica, Sandy and Mary were all sitting at the kitchen table discussing the ‘Em Situation’.

“I’m sorry everyone, but Em’s completely violated my trust in her and I don’t want her in this house, after what she’s done…”

“Sandy, we all know that Em’s actions have not been exactly, um, ‘above reproach’ but are you sure this is necessary? Yes, this is serious stuff and action will be taken against both Em and Maddy, but can’t you put up with her for a few more days?”

“Are you kidding me, Jessica? Let me ask you this. If she and Maddy had managed to out Gaby, would we even be having this conversation? No! We wouldn’t … but because she is saying it was just a few pranks and Gaby didn’t get outed, that makes it okay and we should all just let it go. That’s just Bullshit!

We all know Gaby was extremely lucky. At the very least she would have been beaten to a bloody pulp. You seem to forget that I’ve personal experience with these kids, so I think in this case, I have the more in-depth understanding of the mentality of these kids ... or lack thereof. I went to school with a lot of their brothers and sisters. I KNOW what could have happened … so, as far as I’m concerned, she goes … tonight. If you agree with Jessica and you think Em should stay, then tell me now Mom, so I can pack a bag and go stay somewhere else.”

Mary sighed. Sandy couldn’t be moved when she was like this. What’s more, Mary found that she agreed with her daughter despite having mixed feelings about losing Em.

“Fran … Jessica, I’m afraid I have to agree with Sandy. I think it best for all, that Em leaves with you…” Mary quietly voiced. Jessica started to say something, but Fran laid a hand on her arm.

“They’re right, Jess. This is their home and quite frankly, Em has overstayed her welcome.

Sandy, Mary … on behalf of the exchange program and Warsop College, you have my heartfelt apology for the behavior of my two students. I truly had not thought them capable of something like this.

Well … we should be off. Calling it ‘Damage Control’ is an understatement, but we’ve got a lot more that has to be done tonight. I’ll go inform Em to pack her things. Since Maddy’s not at your place tonight, can we put her up for the night and deal with the rest in the morning?”

“Of course, Fran.”

With that Fran headed to the stairs to go and find Em.

“Sandy? Mary? Can I count on your discretion to not talk about this until we’ve dealt with the situation? We don’t want to make this any worse than it already is.”

“Of course, Jessica. We won’t say anything until you give us the all clear.”

“Oh, and Sandy?”

“Yes, Jessica.”

“I know that you want to keep your status quiet, but if it was necessary would you object to us telling Drew’s doctors? I know Maggie is the soul of discretion, and the doctor she brought in is a Dr. Page I believe. And they would be covered by their doctor/patient confidentiality as well.”

“Dr. Page? Dr. Karen Page? From UV in Charlottesville?”

“Well, I’m sure it is Karen, but I’m not entirely sure where she’s from.”

“Well, if it is Dr. Karen Page from Charlottesville, I definitely have no problem.”

Jessica looked at her quizzically.

Sandy chuckled “If it’s the same Karen, she’s my gender therapist. So there would be no problem there.”

“All right Sandy. And thank you. I won’t discuss it unless it’s necessary.”

Em looked up as she heard someone on the stairs, she hoped it was Sandy so she could apologize to her. She was quite startled to see Miss Cowlishaw standing there and from the look on her face, she was not particularly happy.

“Miss?”

“You have ten minutes to pack your bags, Em. It’s been decided that the best thing for you is to come with Miss Bell and I and stay at her house tonight. Any further decisions will be made tomorrow.”

“But, but….”

“No buts, Em. You brought this upon yourself. Sandy and her mother have asked us to take you with us tonight.”

Em slumped to the floor and began to cry.

“But it was just a few practical jokes! Just some pranks among mates!”

“C’mon, dear … let’s get you packed and out of here. We can talk about that later tonight. Now hurry up!” A reluctant Em and Fran then left the main house and walked across the courtyard to Sandy’s apartment to get her things.

“This is so unfair! Pull a few pranks and now it’s the bum’s rush? It’s not like anything would have really happened if Drew had been found out, anyways. Everyone would’ve gotten a good laugh and that would have been the end of it.

This was all Mad’s doing. I may’ve started one or two small pranks, but Mad was the brains. No way am I taking all the blame. If I go down … I’m taking her with me!”

Now packed, Em lugged her suitcase out of her bedroom and towards the stairs, where Miss Cowlishaw was patiently waiting.

“Make sure you have everything because once we go, we won’t be back,” Fran softly cautioned. When all was said and done, she was still dealing with a 13 year old and not a hardened criminal. “I’ll take your case, you go and get your coat and shoes.”

Em hung her head and shuffled over to the closet where she left her coat and shoes.

“Can I say good-bye to Sandy and Mary?” Em weakly asked as she returned to stand and face her teacher.

“No, dear … I don’t think that’d be a good idea.” Miss Cowlishaw quietly replied. When Em started to cry, Fran knelt down and held her close. “Em ... listen to me. Even if you don’t appreciate the seriousness of what you did … they do. Right now, feelings are running very high and they both feel you betrayed them. They’re hurting.”

“But…”

“C’mon, Em. We’ll talk about this when we get to Miss Bell’s … okay? Maybe there’ll be a chance for you to talk to Sandy before you go home.”

After taking a last look around, both Em and Fran descended the staircase that led up to Sandy’s apartment. Once outside the carriage house, they saw that Jessica had pulled the car around and was waiting for them.

As Fran loaded the teenager’s bags into the trunk of the Jetta, Em sighed heavily and choked back a sob as she slid onto the back seat of the car.

Fran and Jessica looked at each other and knew it was going to be a long night. After they talked with Em, they planned to go and talk to Maddy and then Fran was going to have to make that call to Mr. Woods and give him a summary of the situation, as well as some recommendations. God only knew where that was going to lead.

Carol and Maddy really had no idea what was going on, as they had found themselves isolated either at the hotel or speaking with Dr. Page at the hospital. Adding to whatever either one of them may have felt, Karen hadn’t told them anything more about Drew’s condition.

At their latest session with Dr. Page, Maddy had openly talked about her sexual orientation and why she was so afraid to discuss it, while Carol sat there, silently.

“You’ve been awfully quiet, Carol. Mind if I ask you a question?” Karen quietly asked.

“No. What would you like to know?”

“You’ve heard Maddy say she likes girls. How do you feel about that?” At first Maddy glared at the doctor and then, slowly realized that Karen was only trying to get her mum to express her feelings about her daughter, given what had been revealed.

“No matter who she chooses to love, she’s still my child and I’ll always love her. I know her father would say the same thing if he were here.” When Carol turned to look at her daughter, Maddy leaned over from her place on the couch and hugged her mum while openly crying on her shoulder.

Karen found it interesting that the name ‘Drew’ or ‘Gaby’ was never mentioned during the entire session, given that she knew how Gaby felt about Maddy and as much as she wished she could’ve forced the issue, Doctor/patient confidentiality prevented her from doing just that, since Gaby was also one of her patients.

Privately she was sure that it had nothing to do with ‘Drew’ being in the hospital. Her observations during the interview convinced her that it was very clear that Maddy was still hiding something from her mother. She’d been more open with her about Drew, when Carol wasn’t there. As she sat at her desk, looking at Maddy, a plan began to form that just may bring down the wall that she appeared to have erected around her.

At the close of their session, Karen looked over at Carol.

“Carol, I think there’s still a lot of issues you and Maddy have to work through and we may not have time to get into them before you head home. Therefore, I suggest that I get a hold of some colleagues nearer home to find someone that you two can talk with and once you have decided on a doctor, I’ll send copies of my notes over to them.

“That’s fine, doctor…” Carol agreed.

Oh … before you go … if you recall our very first discussion, there is one area which needs to be looked at early on.”

Carol looked at Karen strangely for a moment or two, then the light bulb went on.

“You’re right. We’ll be dealing with that very soon.”

“Before we call it a day ladies, are there any other questions you have for me?”

Maddy and Carol looked at each other for a moment, then Maddy turned back to Karen.

“One reason I was scared to admit I like girls is because of the kids around here. Back ‘ome, it seems to make little difference, but here … I dunno. They all say it’s ‘unnatural’ and people like that deserve whatever they get. Is that true?”

“The word ‘unnatural’, literally means that it doesn’t occur in nature.” Karen put down her pen and rose from her chair. After she walked around her desk and sat on the arm of the couch closest to Maddy, Karen smiled and in a soft voice, tried to answer Maddy’s question.

“Here’s a news flash, Maddy … by the definition of the word … you are not ‘unnatural’! Homosexuality occurs in nature, in all species, everywhere … including humans. In fact, we see proof of that in all levels of society, all over the globe. Unfortunately, the word has become to be more of a label that certain groups use to try and justify their hatred for those that do not fit within their narrow preconceptions of life.

It’s my personal belief that by living your life honestly and fully ... embracing all of who you are … is perhaps the most fulfilling thing any of us can do. I’m not saying that it’s easy. Just the opposite … it’s probably the toughest thing a person can do. It can often seem like life is turned against you at every turn and that’s where the support of family and good friends is so important. They can make a huge difference in your life.”

You also have to be willing to trust and confide in these people, as well as trust in their friendship and love that they won’t put you in danger or in any situations that would take away your dignity … but always remember … trust and respect are two way streets, Maddy. You have to show it to get it. It means that sometimes, you’ll have to put your life into someone else’s hands or … if you don’t want to do that, you can always trust no one and form no lasting relationships. Basically live your life alone and in constant fear.

There will always people around who are willing to give advice, if you ask … or not. You may even find a few people willing to give you the benefit of their experiences, but in the end … only you can make a decision for yourself. It’s just a part of growing up.

Think about what I’ve said Maddy, and continue to think about all the things the three of us have discussed over the last couple of days.”

“Ermm, I will Dr. Karen. Thank you.”

Sensing their cue to leave, Carol and Maddy then got up and headed out of Karen’s temporary office.

“God! That was close! If she’d have brought up Gabs, she might just as well handed me a gun with one bullet! I can’t lie to mum and I doubt that Karen would’ve let me skate around it knowing what I told her and Dr. Maggie the other day.

I’ve got to talk to Em and Brit so we can get our stories straight. If mum, Timber or Uncle Dave and Aunt Jenny find out what I’ve been doing to Drew, I’ll be lucky if I just get excluded from school. Heaven help me if Drew ever finds out. How can I let him know that I don’t really love him and that it’s Gaby that I’m in love with? I’ll lose both of them!”

“Mum, I’m hungry. Can we go get something to eat?

~~~~~~~~
Fran, Jessica and Em had been sitting around Jessica’s kitchen table for more than an hour. No matter how they tried to put it to her, Em could just not see how her pranks could’ve hurt Drew. With the frustration beginning to show, Fran decided to try something a little different.

“Em … Rhod’s one of the smartest students in Level 3’s at Warsop College. You know that, and I know that … and I think I know why you can’t accept that what you did may have been disastrous for Drew.”

Oh?” Em muttered as she raised her head to look at Miss Cowlishaw.

“You can’t see it, because if it’s true for Gaby, then it’s also true for you, too and if you admit that, then logically, you know you’re not safe either.” She knew her next comment might get a wee bit of a rise from Em.

“Rhod knows I’m right … but Em … she strikes me as a little slower and needs to be shown proof.” Fran smiled inside as Em visibly winced with the comparison. She decided to bury the knife a little deeper. “Well, if it’s proof she wants … proof she’ll get.”

Miss Cowlishaw then rose from the chair she was sitting on and grabbed two cold sodas from the fridge. Returning to her seat, she put one of the cans in front of Em.

“Jessica? Do you have your laptop handy? I need you to show Em something.”

“Just give me a minute to get it set up and booted,” Jessica allowed. “What web site you want me to call up?”

“The one you said Sandy gave to you. Now, Em, when we get to this site I want to show you, you WILL read what is there … understand?”

“Yes, Miss…” Em meekly answered.

Jessica brought the laptop back to the kitchen table and turned it on. As the little computer began to boot up, Fran looked at Em.

“Em dear … if I can’t explain to you … then perhaps I can show you.”

Turning to the computer, she brought up the internet and typed in the following web address:

http://www.transgenderdor.org

“This, Em … is a website dedicated to the Transgender Day of Remembrance. It’s kind of like Remembrance Day, except instead of fallen soldiers, the site remembers all the transgendered souls, like you and Sandy, who were murdered for simply being different.

Keep in mind that these are only the known murders. This doesn’t include the suicides, or the murders that could not be directly attributed to the person’s gender orientation or perceived orientation. These were people were killed by intolerant people, simply because they were transgendered. The same kind of people we’ve been trying to tell you about.

Now I want you to read about this and when you’re finished reading everything, I want you to click on this link here.” Fran pointed out the statistics link to EM and then sat back to watch her young student read.

Em started to look at what was on the website and the more she got into it, the more horrified she became.

“These people were actually killed because they were transgendered? Why?”

When she finished looking at the main page, Em dutifully clicked on a link to those that had been memorialized at the last Transgendered Day of Remembrance.

“Murdered. Murdered. Shot through the head. Beaten to death. Stabbed multiple times. Murdered. Set on fire. Murdered. Multiple gunshot wounds. Lookit their ages!”

As she was looking at the link, Fran observed tear tracks running down Em’s face, ruining the little make-up she had on.

“We didn’t know … honest, we didn’t know … we didn’t know…” Em sobbed as she turned away in her seat and nudged the laptop as far away from her as she could reach. As soon as Fran gently touched the teen on her shoulders, Em desperately reached out and was immediately swept up into a tight hug. Fran continued to hold Em until she cried herself out.

“Em … I’m sorry. I know it was a bit of a shock, but the ‘real world’ isn’t always what you want it to be and we didn’t know any other way to convince you that your pranks could’ve gotten Drew killed and I know you didn’t want that … did you?”

“Why?” Em managed to get out between sobs.

“There’s no good answer for that … there never is for any senseless crime. Unfortunately, this is very real and very prevalent everywhere in the world. I didn’t show you this to hurt you, only to teach you that the rest of the world isn’t like Warsop College. Real people get hurt and killed just because someone doesn’t like what they are,” Fran softly explained as they pulled themselves apart.

Em just stared at Fran in mute horror.

“You’ve gotta keep Gabs from the Valentine’s dance!”

Jessica and Fran both froze. Almost as one their heads swiveled with laser-like precision to face Em.

“I’d love to see her up and around by then, but I really don’t know if she’d even be discharged from the hospital in time to go,” Jessica quietly explained.

“What do you know about the dance, Em?” Miss Cowlishaw implored.

“Ummm, word’s out at school that some of the boys are going to do something to Gabs. I heard they plan to ‘convert the lezzie’ and teach her to like boys,” Em timidly replied.

“Go on…” Fran urged.

“Until I saw this, I didn’t know what they meant. I just thought it might be embarrassing her in some way, so I didn’t say anything. Now, after reading this, I think they’re gonna hurt Gabs.”

Fran knelt down beside Em and enfolded her in a hug while Em cried.

“Shhhhh, Em. If Gaby’s out of the hospital … she won’t be going to the dance. We won’t let her. Shhhh now … it’ll be okay ... I promise.”

Releasing Em from her hug, Fran looked back at her and said:

“But, Em … we need to know who is involved and to put a stop to it. You have to tell us everything you know … okay?”

“Okay, but please don’t let anything happen to Gaby!”

“You have our word!” Jessica affirmed.

As Em’s tale began to unfold, the horror grew in the minds of the two adults.

When asked how she came to know about the plan, the teachers learned that Em had been told by Maddy, who seemed to think that it would all be really funny when they discovered that Gaby wasn’t a girl.

“How did Maddy know?” Jessica firmly asked.

“I guess some of the hosts can’t keep a secret.”

“Did Ally and Bernie, know what was planned for the dance?” Fran pointedly inquired.
“I don’t think so. I don’t think any of us were supposed to know,” Em admitted.

After they took Em upstairs to Maddy’s vacant room and got her to promise to get some sleep, the two women adjourned back downstairs to the living room where they discussed all that they’d learned and they still had much to do.

“What next?” Fran wondered with a yawn.

“Well, I think we need to call Jocelyn Walters and start there. At least there I know I have full authority and Mrs. Walters will back me. I think I have no option but to recommend Britney’s immediate suspension for her role in all this.

“For how long?”

“No idea. What’s the going lockup for betraying a friend and conspiracy?” Jessica replied as she tried to add a little levity to the doom n’ gloom that had coloured the exchange visit.

“What about Debbie?”

“Her only crime is keeping quiet about Drew’s gender. I’ll think of something. As far as I can tell, and as far as anyone else has told us, it was all Brit, Maddy and Em, up until this dance thing – and that really only involves Brit.”

“Okay! We know that if Gaby did attend the dance on Thursday, things were supposed to happen. True, it may only be a false alarm and Maddy was only leading Em on, but we should be able to get some sort of confirmation or denial out of Britney. Unfortunately, given the attitude of a lot of this town, this whole thing may well be an exercise in futility.” Jessica voiced with more than a touch of cynicism.

“I think Em’s asleep. Are you ready?” Fran asked.

“Let me check on her, then we can go.”

“You know Michael will be simply beside himself with this, don’t you? I’m no solicitor either, but I bet Mr. Bond’s got more than a few legal legs to stand on … at least enough to make a few heads roll,” Fran speculated as Jessica stepped off the bottom step.

“On both sides of the Atlantic,” Jessica fatally added.

“When students can do things like this behind my back … maybe I should grab the first single man I can find who can support me in the posh manner I can easily become accustomed too and retire.” Fran managed a smile as she pondered her future.

“Won’t work. First … you’re too damned young to retire. You’ll be bored with the Royal family within a month! Second, from all accounts … it appears Maddy’s somewhat of a pro when it comes to manipulating people and events … and third my dear Fran … Gaby likes you too much to blame you for the actions of those three,” Jessica returned, with her own smile.
“Oh … Em’s finally out like a light.”

“I guess we should get a bite to eat and then tell Em what we’re doing … but, first things first … sit down and drink your wine for a few minutes. I’ll see what I’ve got in the fridge and then call Jocelyn.”

“This is not going to be an easy evening. But we have all been warning Brit for years that someday she was going to go too far. I just hope Drew comes out of this whole.”

Jessica punched out the numbers for the Walter’s home and waited for someone to pick up.

*Ring*

*Ring*

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jocelyn … it’s Jessica Bell. Do you have a minute?”

“Of course, Jessica. What can I do for you?”

“Fran and I need to come over and talk everyone about Gaby … especially Britney and Debbie. Given what we have learned so far today, there are some things that need to be dealt with.”

“When do you think you’ll be here?”

“We need to have a quick bite to eat, first and then we’ll be over … if that’s all right with you.”

“Why not eat here! There’s plenty of food and you can kill two birds with one stone.”

“Hang on a minute Jocelyn, I’ll check with Fran”. Mrs. Walters heard Jessica put the phone down as well as two faint voices. A few seconds later, Jessica came back on the line.

“That sounds great, thank you. Fran and I have a long night ahead of us, so at this point, we’ll accept any suggestion to make our lives easier. When would you like us over?”

“In about a half an hour? Donald should be home in a few minutes.”

“Thanks, again … see you soon ... bye.”

Chapter 13

*Ding Dong*

The door to the Walters home opened and there was Donald standing in the doorway.

“Come in ladies, come in.”

“Thank you Donald. However, I wish we were here under better circumstances.”

“Jocelyn said this was an official visit. I think we both knew that sooner or later it would come to this. Brit just doesn’t seem to get it and just won’t stop playing these pranks on people.

Anyways, we can discuss this all over dinner. Come into the kitchen and sit down, dinner is almost ready.”

“Where are the girls?” Jessica wondered.

“After you called, Jocelyn decided to feed them then told them to stay in their rooms until we call them down. We thought that’d give us a chance to talk about what’s happened, first.”

As the trio walked towards the kitchen, they could hear Jocelyn at the stove putting the final touches to dinner.

“Ah, Jess and Fran … perfect timing. Dinner is just ready to be served. We’ve somewhat of a traditional English meal that I had planned for Gaby and Jules, since Gaby had that big race this weekend … Roast beef, Yorkshire pudding, roast potatoes, turnips, parsnips, peas and carrots and gravy. There’s also horseradish and English mustard on the side for those that would like it and for dessert we have a trifle. Sit down and we’ll eat and have a talk about what brings you here ... *sigh* … as if we didn’t have a pretty good idea already.”

“Oh my. Everything looks and smells just wonderful Jocelyn. It’s that smell and taste of home and it’s always appreciated. Those Yorkshire puddings, look delicious.”

“Gaby knows her way around the kitchen … and she’s a pretty good teacher. She says the Yorkshire’s are her dad’s recipe. Oh, a word of caution. That horseradish is strong ... I know! Gaby picked it out … said she wanted the ‘real stuff’,” Jocelyn boasted.

Her jovial mood soon vanished and her smile disappeared, as she fell silent.

“Mrs. Walters?...” Fran softly inquired.

“I’m okay, Fran. It’s just that I’m so used to calling Drew ‘Gaby’ and ‘her’. Now I suppose I’ll have to get used to ‘Drew’ and ‘him’.”

“That’s up to you, of course … but somehow, I don’t think he’d mind if you kept thinking ‘Gaby’ and ‘her’.” Fran’s voice had a calming quality. “When we spoke the other week, she told me she liked it here with you and Donald.”

*Sniff* … sorry.” Jocelyn apologized as she dabbed her eye. Instead of helping, Fran’s revelation made what Gaby had been put through, just that much harder to take.

As everyone dished up, the room was silent except for the sound of crockery and cutlery as they all began to eat.

Jocelyn was the first to speak.

“I know you’re here about our girls, Jess. What have you found?”

Jessica began to tell the Walters the whole sordid story, as far as they knew it and where Britney had been implicated. Fran occasionally added what she knew. Throughout the telling there were occasional murmurs of “she didn’t?” and “oh my god” and “grounded until she’s 30” from both Donald and Jocelyn.

“Well. I never thought I’d hear my daughters could ever act like that to another human being. Mind you ladies, I have to tell you that Deb came down earlier to tell us about her part in all of this.”

Fran turned to face Jocelyn.

“Really? … And how does it match up to what we’ve told you?”

“Well … according to Debbie, Britney and Maddy have been e-mailing each other ever since the trip was announced and it was a week or two after our girls returned from Warsop that the idea of Gaby coming here, started. Deb said that while she only went along with not telling us the truth about Drew because she thought it could be fun to ‘pull one on us’, but she had no idea what was happening with Gaby and Brit after the girls arrived … she said she was busy trying to be a good host to Jules.” Jocelyn recalled.

“Jocelyn and I believe her on that score. She was really, really p.o’d with her sister and we heard her earlier tearing a strip off of Brit for all of this,” Donald admitted.

“You’re both aware, that what Britney did … if confirmed … would fall under the deliberate endangerment of an exchange student and as such she’d be subject to an immediate suspension and an expulsion hearing. Things might go a little easier for Deb … maybe a long stint in detention … for keeping quiet about this. I know the temptation to put one over on the parent’s is great, in the eyes of any teenager … but I think that this went way too far.

“You also need to be prepared for the possibility of Mr. and Mrs. Bond filing charges of felony child endangerment on Brit.”

“Can they do that?” Donald quickly asked.

“They’d be totally within their legal rights to do so…” Jessica confirmed. “…But I think, that’ll largely depend upon how Drew emerges from this whole mess. I tend to think … and I stress that this is only my opinion … that if he comes out of this ‘no worse for wear’, the Bonds might be persuaded that it’d be in no one’s best interests to pursue legal action … especially if those responsible, are taken to task for it.”

“I have to agree with Jessica. I know Dave and Jenny Bond. Their first and foremost concern is the welfare of their child. If Drew comes out of this, as Jessica says, ‘no worse for wear’ … then I can’t see them pressing charges … particularly with the problems that would arise with the international scope of the case. Unfortunately, those of us back at Warsop College still have to face a lot of questions over this and I fear the prospect of charges may be a little more realistic.”

“Jee-zus Chee-rist! Joce, our own daughter played a big part in messing up this poor child … and just for laughs. She even got you to help her get Drew to that Valentine’s dance. Why, Drew would’ve been lucky if they only beat the hell out of him if’n they went through with their plans.”

“Thank you very much for coming and letting us know just how widespread and serious this is. I know it doesn’t make Jocelyn and I look too good as parents, right now … but I never thought her capable of something like this, either.” Donald lamented.

“To tell you the truth, Donald … I don’t think you could’ve done much about it, given neither of you were privileged to her plans and mind reading’s not an option,” Jessica offered in an effort to lighten Donald’s perceived sense of guilt for Britney’s actions.

“When I think of Drew … why couldn’t we see the boy? We could’ve stopped this whole game of hers!”

“Donald ... hindsight is 20/20, but when you come right down to it … unless you took a shower with Gaby, how would you know? She looked and acted as any normal 13year old teenage girl. What blew me away was how natural it was for her. I obviously didn’t spend as much time with her as Fran and Jules, but I think they’d be the first to agree with me … Drew wasn’t like an actor carrying out his lines … there was no pretending. Drew was Gaby!” Miss Cowlishaw immediately nodded her agreement.

“What will Drew’s future be like?” Jocelyn softly pondered.

“How so?” Fran asked in reply.

“Looking as much like a girl as he does, isn’t going to help him operate in a man’s world as a man … will it?”

“I really don’t know,” Fran whispered as she slowly shook her head. In her mind, she felt that she let him down and now wished she could do so much more.

“Well … I guess it’s time. BRIT! Get your butt down here to the living room NOW! You too Deb.”

Jessica’s thoughts were abruptly interrupted upon hearing Donald’s ‘invitation’ to his daughters.

“…And I thought Dad made a good drill sergeant!”

Both girls jumped at the shout from their father. Even though they had been up in their shared bedroom waiting to be summoned, the tone of their father’s voice told them all they needed to know. With much apprehension, they left the room and started to make their way downstairs. Looking at the uncertainty on her sister’s face, Britney felt even more uncertain and isolated. It didn’t help that Debbie wasn’t speaking to her ever since she had that one-sided argument with her earlier.

As the girls stopped on the landing, Brit turned to face her sister.

“I feel like I’m walking to my execution, Deb…”

“Close to it I bet … they can’t leave us hanging forever.”

“Shit!”

“Yeah, well whose fault is that, Brit?”

Deb was the first to head down the stairs, with Brit following a couple of seconds later. When they got to the living room, both girls were visibly shaken when they saw Miss Bell and Miss Cowlishaw along with their parents, sitting down, ready to question them.

“This is not good.” Britney thought to herself.

Jessica silently pointed to the two kitchen chairs placed in the middle of the room.

“Have a seat girls.” Once the girls had sat down, Jessica again spoke.

“Okay, here’s the deal. I need to know everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that has been going on with Gaby while she’s been here … past, present … and future. If you’re not truthful with us, we’ll know. We’ve talked to others and have a good idea what’s been happening. Now we need to hear it from you.”

“Be sure you don’t leave out the bit about the Valentine’s dance,” Fran added.

Deb’s head turned towards her sister and looked at her as if she had grown horns and a tail. This was noted by all the adults, and they waited to see if Deb was going to say anything.

“You can begin anytime, Britney,” Jocelyn angrily urged.

As Britney reluctantly recalled the times that Gaby was made to appear, starting with the earlier American visit to Warsop and continuing to the current visit by the British kids, you could see the anger building in Deb’s eyes. When her sister began to talk about the plans for the Valentines dance, one could see that Debbie had reached her boiling point. Quickly standing up and upsetting her chair in the process, Debbie took a few disbelieving steps away from her sister and then turned and faced her.

“Jesus God-damned Christ! You have got to be fuckin’ kidding me! Never mind that the kids in the exchange program have to go to this thing ... THIS is what you were planning for someone you told me was a friend? So you and Maddy can get some perverse jollies from seeing Drew get beaten and probably killed? You’re fuckin’ sick!”

Britney couldn’t hold back the tears any longer after her sister’s reaction. However, tears did not stop Debbie from continuing to voice her opinion.

“You want to be the one to tell Mr. and Mrs. Bond how you got him killed?!! She almost died from cancer and now that she’s recovering, you want to tell her that her baby is dead?!! Damn you, Brit … don’t you EVER, ever … speak to me again!”

“What was I supposed to do?!!” Brit wailed. “Casey said if I didn’t get her to the dance I could kiss my ass goodbye socially and that she’d make sure that the rest of my life in high school was hell!”

“Oh, so you been a social nothing means getting another human being killed is okay?!! That’s just sick Brit! You need help!”

Jocelyn decided enough had been said for the moment.

“GIRLS! That’s enough! Debbie … sit down … we’re not finished here!”

Debbie slowly righted her chair and sat down without even glancing at her sister after moving it a small distance away from her. As far as she was concerned at that moment they were done.

Jessica picked up the questioning again.

“So, Deb … by the sound of that, you had no idea what was really going on and you believe that the results of Gaby going to the dance could have easily been tragic. Is that an accurate assessment?”

“I certainly had no clue about the dance and yes, I’m sure the results would have been tragic. I know what some of these kids are capable of when they see a boy in a dress.

“What about the other ‘pranks’ she mentioned?” Jessica probed.

“Other than those times in Warsop that Brit’s already mentioned, I had no idea of what was going on while she was here.”

“Did you participate in those ‘pranks’ in Warsop?” Fran asked.

“Yes … but those were nothing more than making Gaby appear whenever Drew needed a change of clothes. He always seemed to go along with ‘things’ and Mr. Bond just seemed to throw his hands up in the air and accept them as they happened.”

Deb turned to face her parents, the disappointment clearly evident on their faces.

“Mom … Dad … I’m sorry that I let this go on. I know I should’ve told you about Drew when it became clear that Brit wasn’t going to. I didn’t know all this was going to happen. Drew and his family were very kind to us when we were in England and I admit, this has been a very poor way to repay them.

“Thank you … both of you, for being honest with us. What you’ve told us pretty much confirmed what we have learned from other sources. However, you both are aware that there’ll be some sort of punishment handed out for this, aren’t you?” Jessica voiced.

“Yes ma’am,” both girls chorused.

Tears began to roll down Deb’s cheeks as she began to understand what kind of hell Brit and her friends had made Gaby’s visit.

“Deb … since you’ve not taken an active role in the more serious of these so-called ‘harmless pranks’, I’m going to recommend the following. Until the end of the school year, you’ll report to detention every day. In addition, I’ll recommend you’ll also be excluded from all social events and extra-curricular activities at the school. Should there be no other problems, you’ll be allowed to return to school with full privileges next year … but keep in mind … this will be on your record. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Miss Bell.”

“You knew that what Casey was asking you to do was wrong didn’t you?” Jessica pointedly asked as she turned her attention to Debbie’s sister. Brit silently shook her head in agreement.

“There’s not enough ‘I’m sorry’s’ in this world to make up for what you’ve done. You’ve put Drew under so much stress that his brain effectively shut down because he simply could not handle any longer what you and others were doing to him.”

“You realize that in all likelihood, you’ve just succeeded in getting the exchange program permanently cancelled for our school.”

Brit’s head snapped up.

“I’m going to have to report all of this to the school administration and it’ll more than likely go right up to the school board. Let me tell you something. There’s an element in the board that wants to end … in their words … ‘worthless field trips’ and you just single-handedly gave them a very strong case for their agenda.”

Brit slumped in the chair and her head drooped down again.

“Donald … Jocelyn … I’m sorry about all of this. Britney … I’ve no choice but to recommend that you’re suspended indefinitely until an expulsion hearing can be convened. At that point I’ll make a further recommendation that you be expelled for the remainder of the year with fail marks in all classes.”

Britney’s face fell and she wanted to do nothing more than get out of there. She heard Jessica’s voice, but it wasn’t really registering. As far as she was concerned, there was no point.

“You’ll have to repeat your year, of course … but under certain conditions. If the school allows you to come back next year, you’ll attend classes and classes only. No school-related social or extracurricular activities and you’ll be permanently banned from the Cheerleading Squad. Should you be seen hanging out with any of the crowd you hung out with this year, you will again be expelled. Any and all spares you have will be spent in the detention hall. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Miss Bell.”

You’ve callously disregarded the lives and well being of others and that’s not acceptable in this society.”

Donald and his wife looked at each other and their daughter.

“Britney, up to your room, NOW!” Jocelyn’s face was red with anger as she watched her youngest daughter scramble away from the adults as fast as she could. Soon, a door loudly slammed closed and the sounds of crying could be heard, even downstairs.

Meanwhile, down in the living room, Jessica was still speaking with the Walters.

“I’m sorry, guys … but there really is no other way to handle this from the perspective of the school. Not without outing Gaby as Drew, anyway. Given what we’ve learned so far, it seemed appropriate.”

“Fran, please accept our most sincere apologies for the actions of our children. I know that it’s damned little comfort … but I can tell you if we’d known about any of this, we’d have stopped it in its tracks.”

“I know you would have Jocelyn. Unfortunately, I’m afraid that they’re not the only one’s involved. We’ve still got a lot to deal with before any investigation into this mess can be considered finished. I still have to deal with one of my own students as well let the school’s Headmaster know what’s going on.”

“I’ll need you two to keep Brit and Deb home from school tomorrow. That’ll buy me time to take all this information to the administration and decide what to do next,” Jessica calmly instructed.

Jessica discreetly nudged Fran in the arm and quietly whispered, “I think now would be a good time to head back to my place for the moment so we can sit down and see where we’re at.”

“Donald … Jocelyn … thank you again for a wonderful dinner. I wish it could’ve been under better circumstances, but this needed to be dealt with immediately,” Jessica voiced as she ad Fran stood up to leave.

“You’re very welcome Jess and we understand perfectly. Better you caught it now. You two take care and please let us know how Drew and Jules are doing.”

As Jocelyn began to tidy up, Donald escorted Fran and Jessica to the front door and saw them off.

Chapter 14

Gaby and the rest of the Bond clan had just finished up their dessert and were heading out the door when she heard a taunting voice behind her.

“Well, look who’s here … it’s the girly boy. I thought you were in the hospital?”

Gaby froze and you could hear the sharp intake of breath from the rest of her family, as well as a shocked sound coming from behind the voice. There was only one person who had a voice just like that.

Maddy.

All of Gaby’s pent up rage, frustration and fear came boiling to the surface. In later days, Jules would be heard to remark that she was sure she saw steam coming out of Gaby’s ears. Pivoting on the spot, Gaby swung with all her might and backhanded her intended target across the face.

*SMACK!!*

Maddy dropped to the ground like a limp rag-doll, clutching at her face in pain. Tears had begun to well in her eyes as she faced her worst nightmare. Gaby was over her in a heartbeat, their faces barely inches apart. Her face was suffused with rage. When she spoke it was with the coldness of liquid helium.

“Now you listen to me Maddy and you listen real good! I’ve put up with your shite day in and day out. I’ve even put up with your attempts at public humiliation and making me your own personal Barbie every damned chance you got … not to mention all of the crap you, Em and Brit have dished out during this trip … BUT I WILL BE DAMNED IF I’M GOING TO LET YOU INSULT ME IN FRONT OF MY FAMILY ANY LONGER!

You really think I’m going to let you continue to treat me the way you do? You think I’m going to keep coming back for more because I can’t live without you?

Think again, bitch!”

“Drew!” Carol said sharply, “that’s enough! There was no reason to hit Maddy like that!”

Drew’s cold eyes flicked up to Carol, catching her off-guard and causing her to freeze in her footsteps. It was like being in the sights of a hunting rifle and you were the hare.

“No reason ‘Auntie’ Carol?” The sarcasm that was dripping from Gaby’s tongue, cut into Carol as sure as if he’d just thrown acid on her.

“Then you ask her why I ended up going to Paris as Gaby … I just figured that one out. How ‘bout asking her about last Halloween, when you made me go as Buffy, after I told Mad and everyone else that I DID NOT want to do it … or all the times Gaby appeared when my clothes ‘magically’ disappeared and only hers or Gaby’s could be found. Don’t forget the effing Cheer Team … ask her to tell you how she arranged it so I ‘had’ to be on it. While we’re at it … how ‘bout those Cons, including the one with you and Uncle John and the last Sports Day, at school? While you’re at it, have her to explain all the shit she’s pulled on me since I got here.”

Carol had never heard her nephew so angry before, but before she could recover and respond from his verbal attack, he struck again.

“Both you and Maddy knew damn well how sick mum was and how much stress I was under and still she still pulled this shit … and you have the nerve to stand there and I have no reason?”

Carol’s mouth moved, but no audible sound came out. Before she had any more time to recover, Drew showed her that he still had an ‘ace’ up his sleeve.

“…And while you’re at it, ‘Auntie’, remember the shopping trip YOU took me on? Think about that too because I really doubt you told Mum and Dad about that one!”

Gaby was virtually vibrating with anger as Jenny and Dave pulled her away from Carol. At the same time, Maddy took the opportunity to scurry under her mother’s legs and remained there, crying.

“…And to think I actually loved you! I cared more about what you thought of me than I thought about myself. I really was a ‘pathetic little boy’ wasn’t I Mad?!”

The mortal blow had been delivered. She didn’t know why she said what she did and she certainly hadn’t meant for Drew to hear that. Carol was just standing there stunned from the swiftness of the biting verbal attacks. She had never, ever heard Drew this angry. The disgust in his voice was clear to all who’d heard.

As things appeared to be under control, Jenny strode up and put her mouth to Carol’s ear.

“I see we’ve got a lot of things to talk about, cuz. I’ve never seen Drew this angry or worked up about anything. I really think we need to get all of us in a room and start talking about this.”

Carol nodded.

“We’ll take our two back to the hotel and try to get them to bed before too long. I know Drew is still quite tired and this probably took most of his energy. After they’ve had a chance to settle in for the night, Dave and I’ll go find a cuppa, then call you on your mobile. We can then meet up and try and figure out just what the hell went on here. You take Maddy and get a bite. It’ll probably be a couple of hours before we can get Drew settled down enough to sleep.”

“Okay, Jen. Talk to you in a little while.” Jen then walked back over to where the rest of her family was waiting.

“Okay missy, what was that all about? Jenny hissed as she gently but firmly, grabbed Gaby’s arm and yanked her aside. “Not here … back at the hotel.”

“Yes, Mum…”

“I didn’t say a thing about Gaby…” Jenny added with a reassuring smile. “I’ll let you do that.”

“Thanks…” a grateful Gaby whispered.

Back at Jessica’s house outside near Grottoes, Fran and Jessica plopped down on the couch after checking in on Em and finding her asleep.

“Okay … where do we go from here… Maddy or the doctors? Fran wondered. “Personally, I’d like nothing better than to confront Miss Peters, but I also think we should pass what we’ve learned to Drew’s doctors.”

“How about calling Mr. Woods and getting that over with?” Jessica knowingly asked. “No use procrastinating … you know it has to be done.”

“Yeah … you’re right, but with everything developing like it is … I wonder if it would be better to have a conference call with the Bonds and both of Drew’s doctors, sitting in?” Fran responded.

“Hmmm … let me think about that for a sec,” Jessica opined. “That’d probably be the best option, if you want to give Mr. Woods the full story … but you’d have to talk with the doctors, first.”

“Why?”

“Maggie and Karen have knowledge of the case … and you’ve already showed them Drew’s medical release form that his parent’s signed, when he was first admitted. They’ve got all the authorization to discuss Drew with you, that they need…” Jessica replied.

“That’s right! I guess … if nothing else, they can help me make sense of this whole thing before I talk to Michael…” Fran rationalized. “…’Cuz right now … I have no idea what I’m going to say to him … or the Bonds!”

“Talk to Maggie and Karen first, before you have a breakdown. Things may be a little clearer then. If need be … Maddy can wait until tomorrow,” Jessica added with a little chuckle.

“I’ll give Maggie a call and we’ll take it from there. They may even have some ideas as to how to approach Maddy as well.”

“Might as well,” Fran sighed wearily.

Jessica went to the phone and dialed the hospital. After asking for Dr. MacArthur she was told that she had left for the day. Explaining to the reception clerk that it was concerning one of the doctor’s cases, Jessica requested they page the doctor and then left her name and phone number.

“It’s rather important I get hold of her before tomorrow … thank you.” Jessica then thanked her for her time, hung up and went back out to the living room.

“Well, she’s left for the day, but I got them to page her. We’ll be hearing from her soon.”

“Guess we just wait … coffee?”

“No tea?” Jessica joked.

“I need something stronger,” Fran retorted.

Maggie was just settling in to her recliner with a glass of Riesling and a book when her pager went off.

Good Lord! I haven’t been home an hour and that damn thing is going off. Let’s hope it’s not a multiple car accident or anything like that.

Ah well, no rest for the wicked I guess.

Setting her wine down and extracting herself from the clutches of her recliner ever so reluctantly, Maggie padded over to the phone. Dialing the hospital, she waited for an answer.

“Rockingham Hospital, how may I help you?”

“This is Dr. Maggie MacArthur. I was just paged?”

“Ah yes, Dr. MacArthur. I have a message for you. A Ms. Jessica Bell called looking for you. When we advised her you were gone for the day, she asked if she could leave her name and number and have you paged. She said it was in regards to one of your patients.”

“Jessica Bell? This must have to do with Gaby. I wonder what she’s found out and why it would be important enough to want to talk to me tonight. Hmmm…..better get her number and give her a call. I think I only have is her parent’s number.”

“Give me her number please. I know who she’s calling about.” Maggie scribbled the number down as the clerk read it off, then read it back to confirm the number, hung up and dialed Jessica’s number.

Jessica picked up the phone after the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jessica, it’s Maggie. You had me paged.

“That was quick! Thanks for calling me back, Maggie. I know you’ve had a long day and we don’t want to make it any longer, but Fran, Miss Cowlishaw… and I have been looking into this mess and since you asked, we think we’ve come across some things you should know about.”

“Jess, Jess….take a breath!”

There was a hint of laughter in Maggie’s voice as she said that. Jessica had been that way since public school. Whenever she got excited she tended to try and get all the words out in one lump.

“Sorry. You know how I get sometimes.”

“You haven’t changed…” Maggie laughed.

“Anyway, you said that we shouldn’t hesitate to give you a call if we came across anything about Drew. Still interested?”

“Of course! “Would you two like to come to the hospital, or would you prefer somewhere a little more private?”

“Private would be better if at all possible Maggie. I’m still at mum and dad’s … only it’s mine now.”

“You’ve got their place?”

“Dad’s present to me.”

“Nice! If you don’t mind, I’d like to bring a friend of mine from Med School … Dr. Karen Page. She’s the gender specialist I brought in to help me on this.”

“Whatever you think is best.” After agreeing on a time, Jessica refreshed Maggie’s memory with the directions to her place. “See you in a few, Maggie … bye.”

“Now to pry Karen out of her comfy hotel room. I wonder what the two of them have come up with that can’t wait?”

Back at Jessica’s, the two women were each curled up in one of the overstuffed upholstered chairs and; finally paying some attention to the glasses of wine they had left some time earlier.

“Since we’re relaxing, each with a glass of wine … I assume your friend, Dr. MacArthur is coming over?” Fran quietly wondered.

“With Dr. Page…” Jessica added.

“Dr. Page?”

“Maggie’s friend from medical school, who just happens to be a gender specialist… which, given our current situation … we definitely need for Em and possibly may need for Drew.”

“Maybe now we can all start sorting this mess out…” Fran uttered out of frustration. “It’s bad enough having to sit here while Drew has to go through all this … but to know you played a part. When this is all said and done … I may need a shrink, Jess.”

“Played a part?”

“He wanted to leave the Foresters before we came, but I asked him to let Gaby do the competition.”

“You didn’t force him, though…”

“Heavens, no! … But that poor child wouldn’t refuse a teacher … or let a team down … and I knew it!” Fran softly allowed.

“If you want to play the blame-game, Fran … I entered the Foresters in that competition before checking with you … remember? If I didn’t … Gaby might’ve not been so quick to agree to stay with the team … or come here. The girls … could’ve always gone to the comp with our cheerleaders, as spectators, while Drew stayed in Grottoes with any friends he made at school.”

“You’re forgetting that Maddy and the Walters girls already sealed Gaby’s fate.”

“True.” Jessica quietly agreed. “Fran? When you think about it … could any of this have been prevented?”

Maggie had stopped at the hospital to pick up her file on Gaby and a tape recorder before she went to pick up Karen when a thought occurred to her. Picking up the phone she dialed the Bond’s hotel and was put through to their room.

“Hi, Jenny … it’s Maggie MacArthur. Do you have a minute?”

“Of course doctor, what can I do for you?”

“Two things, really … I need to ask you a couple of questions and also get your permission for something.”

“What would you like to know?”

“First, could you ask Jules exactly who she told about Gaby being awake?”

“Certainly. Just a moment.”

Maggie could hear Jenny asking Jules the question and while she couldn’t quite hear the answer, she could tell by the tone of Jules’ voice that her supposition had been correct.

“Dr. MacArthur…”

“Maggie please, Jenny”

“All right, Maggie. Apparently she only told Mrs. Walters and asked that she only let Mr. Walters know and no one else.”

“May I ask, why?”

“I don’t entirely agree with her decision … but I understand it. To quote Jules … ‘why tell them? They’re the ones who put Gaby in the hospital’ …”

“Okay, that clears that up. I thought that might be the case.”

“Why? Is there a problem?”

“No, not really. It’s just that I had a somewhat of an odd call from Jessica Bell. Apparently, both she and Miss Cowlishaw have been looking into what all has been happening to ‘Drew’ during his time here and she asked if she could meet with me this evening.

“Why would that concern you?”

“Knowing how she arrived at her current state, may ultimately help Karen and I.”

“Okay … I guess.”

Which leads me to the second reason for this call.”

“I’m listening…”

“How much would you like me to tell Jessica or Miss Cowlishaw … if anything? If you say nothing, then we’ll just listen to what they have to say and that’ll be it.”

“Jenny?” Maggie asked after the phone seemed to have gone dead.

“Sorry … just had to think for a second. We’d already signed the standard medical release forms that would allow Miss Cowlishaw full authority in a medical emergency, so I don’t see any reason for Gaby’s condition to be withheld from her. She’ll have to know sometime anyway because I expect she’ll have to report all this to the Headmaster of Drew’s school. If I was in her place, I know I would. As for Jessica … she should know as well

“Thank you.”

“Oh … while I have you on the phone Maggie, could we schedule a session tomorrow morning before Gaby’s physical?”

“Something happen with her?”

“We ran into Carol and Maddy coming out of the restaurant this evening. Maddy made some sort of comment and Gaby absolutely lost it. She actually slapped Maddy across the face, knocking her down and then told her in no uncertain terms, what she thought of her … and Carol … to some degree. If you think it may help clear the air … I think we might even need a joint session with all six of us in the room, tomorrow. I’ve never seen Gaby that angry about anything before.”

“Karen and I already cleared our schedules to help Gaby, so if we need joint sessions or separate sessions, we’ll make it happen.

Look … let me find out what Jess and Miss Cowlishaw have to say, and I’ll call you back … hopefully within the next two hours or so. What they tell us may impact on how we schedule tomorrow

“That’s fine. Dave and I were just going to step out, so just call us on the mobile.”

“Great! Anything else?”

“After we separated the kids, I suggested Carol and I should talk later this evening. Should I say anything to her?”

“Hmmm … tell her you spoke to me because Drew was still quite upset and I suggested a group session, tomorrow. Let her know you’ll get back to her in the morning with a time. That’ll buy us some time to fit any additional pieces we learn tonight, into the puzzle.”

“Okay.”

“If we feel there’s a pressing need, Karen and I could meet with you, Dave and the kids in the morning … before the group session.”

“And perhaps Karen and I could meet with just you and Dave after we are done with Jess and Miss Cowlishaw to give you a complete rundown of what we know to that point. Can you tell the girls that you will be going out for a coffee later?”

“Well, a tea anyways Maggie. But yes, we’ll let the girls know. How about we plan to meet in the lobby in about 3 hours so we don’t get a phone call and then go off leaving them wondering.”

“That sounds like a good plan Jenny. We’ll see you a bit later then.”

After saying her goodbyes and grabbing her things, Maggie left her office to pick Karen up at her hotel

“Okay, Mags … what’s so important that we’re both making a house call?” Karen half-joked as she got into the car.

“Karen, I’ve known Jessica Bell since grade school and she’s not the type to cry wolf. She wouldn’t have even called me this evening if she and Miss Cowlishaw didn’t think it was very important. They’ve been looking into this mess from their end, and Jess says they’ve come up with some information that may help us understand what driving some of these kids.”

“Do they know Gaby is awake?”

“No … but they will. When Jules informed Mr. and Mrs. Walters, she asked it go no further. Apparently, she holds the others accountable for putting Gaby in the hospital in the first place. However, I talked to Jenny Bond and she gave me clearance to let both Jessica and Miss Cowlishaw know Gaby’s current status with one exception … refer to Gaby as Drew.”

“Anything else I should know?”

“I told Jenny we’ll deal with it tomorrow morning, but earlier tonight Maddy and her mom met the Bonds leaving a restaurant. Maddy uttered a less-than-complimentary remark which apparently set Gaby off … slapping Maddy to the ground and then verbally going off on Maddy … and Carol!”

“Ouch!”

“Be prepared to referee a group session tomorrow … the Bonds versus the Peters.”
“You did say something about it being a challenging case…” Karen sarcastically replied as she sunk back into the passenger seat. “It’s not like we didn’t see this coming.”

Karen laughed for a moment and then pointed off to the left. “Umm … Mags? Can you pull into that Starbucks coming up? I think we’ll both need a really big coffee before the night’s finished.”

After making a brief stop, the two continued on to Jessica’s. When they arrived, Maggie told Karen that while she would start the discussion, she should feel free to interject whenever she felt it necessary.

Jessica stood in the open doorway as the two women got out of the car.

“C’mon in! It’s too darned cold to be hanging around outside.”

Maggie and Karen doffed their coats and joined the other two women in the living room. After introducing Karen and getting comfortable, Maggie turned to Jessica.

“Okay, Jess … you asked for this meeting … and I know you wouldn’t do that unless you deemed it very important, so what’s going on?”

“First, what can you tell us about Drew’s condition Maggie? Other than Maddy’s mother arriving with Drew’s parents and Maddy staying with her mother last night … we haven’t heard anything since we left the hospital”

“Okay. After talking with the Bonds, I can tell you that Drew is awake and coherent. In fact, he’s with his family at their hotel, as we speak. We’re working with him and his family on essentially an outpatient basis, at this point. He’s still quite distressed about what has happened, but being with his family is better medicine than lying in a hospital bed 24 hours a day.”

Both Jess and Fran let out huge sighs of relief at hearing that Drew was okay and reunited with his parents

“I’m really glad that Jenny could travel, but I hate to think what she thinks of me at this point. I should’ve seen what was going on.”

“Fran, both Karen and I can honestly tell you that we don’t believe that either Jenny or Drew hold you responsible for this. They know that the influences came from somewhere else.

Now, since you two asked for the meeting…”

As Fran and Jessica began to relate Gaby’s early appearances, Maggie diplomatically broke in and informed the two, that they knew all this from their previous interviews.

“Maddy provided the most detailed of the accounts,” Karen pointed out.

“Were the only ones you spoke to, the ones in the waiting room?” Jessica wondered.

“Yes. Are there more you feel we should talk with?” Maggie questioned.

“Technically, there is Bernie and Ally…” Fran replied. “…But I don’t think they’d be able to add any more than you already know.”

“Em … you’ll want to talk with,” Jessica added with a certain air of confidence.

“Ah, yes … Em had been mentioned by both Maddy and Britney. Who is she?” Maggie thoughtfully interjected while she pondered her now empty coffee cup.

“Me…”

All eyes followed the soft, timid voice to its source at the top of the stairs. Jessica immediately rose up from her seat on the couch and hurried to the teenage girl sitting on the top step. As Jessica approached, Em stood up and braced herself for her teacher’s wrath, but instead found herself wrapped in a warm embrace.

“How long have you been sitting here, honey?” Jessica softly asked. Her voice struck Em as not one of unquestioned authority, but as a mother soothing a child after a horrific nightmare and she immediately sank into Jessica’s embrace.

“I … I was *sniff* … I was coming back from the loo when I heard your friends talking about how Gabs was…” Em whispered as her head lay on Jessica’s shoulder.

“You’re really worried about her, aren’t you?”

“*sniff* … yes.” It didn’t escape Jessica that Em referred to Drew as Gaby and that she merely followed her guest’s lead.

“Now that you’re up, would you like to come downstairs? I’m sure Karen and Maggie would like to meet you.”

Em timidly nodded her agreement as the two released each other. Taking Em’s hand, Jessica walked slowly down the stairs and into the living room to join the others. As they stood on the edge of the large area rug, Jessica made the introductions.

“Em … this is my friend, Dr. Maggie MacArther and her friend, Dr. Karen Page. These two have been taking care of Drew and dropped by to let Miss Cowlishaw and I know how he was.”

“Hello…” Em shyly greeted the visitors.

“Maggie … Karen … this is Em.”

“Em … that’s a name you don’t usually hear. Is it short for something?” Maggie asked.

“Not really. The ‘gang’ gave it to me. I guess it was easier than saying Mfawny ... that’s Welsh,” Em quietly admitted.

“Em? I’m a psychiatrist specializing in gender disorders, so please don’t take this the wrong way … but can I ask you a personal question?” Karen softly asked. She’d noticed how Em had moved over and shyly attached herself to Fran soon after Jessica introduced everyone.

“I guess so…”

“You mentioned the ‘gang’ … I assume you’re one of this ‘gang’.”

“Uh huh.”

“Okay.” Following a short pause, Karen asked her question. “Ummm … Maddy has already told Maggie and I that there are three girls in the ‘gang’ … Ally, Bernie and herself … as well as Drew
and another boy named Rhod.” Before Karen could finish, Em interrupted her.

“I … ummm … I’m Rhod.”

“Interesting … are you passing as a girl for the same reasons as Drew?”

“I don’t think so. I mean, we’re both one of Miss C’s Sherwood Foresters … but that’s where it ends,” Em quietly offered as she avoided eye contact and looked down at her feet.

“What does that mean, Em?”

“Gaby’s … she looks an’ acts like a real girl, without thinking about it. I have to work at it. It’s not fair …Gaby doesn’t want to be a girl … she’s never dressed on her own … only when Drew was forced to be Gaby because of something someone did…” Em’s voice faded as tears started to make their way down her cheeks. Fran instinctively pulled the child closer to her.

“…I should’ve been born a girl … s’not fair…”

“I must say, Em … you do make a very convincing and pretty girl. Did Maddy or the others help you?”

“No … Sandy did… *sniff*”

“Sandy?” Maggie echoed.

“Her host. The boy Rhod was initially paired with for the exchange visits, was pulled from the program and another host was quickly found. After learning Em was making the trip to Grottoes, I paired her up with a friend of mine … a senior at AHS and a pre-op transsexual. The two quickly bonded and Sandy helped Em by getting her some very realistic appliances,” Jessica explained.

“Did you ever mention these to Drew?” Karen questioned when both she and Maggie saw how natural Em looked.

“No … an’ I don’t know why. I suggested it to Maddy … but she never told Gabs, either.” Karen made a note to ask Maddy about that when she talked to her again.

“You know that by not telling Drew, you greatly increased the chance somebody would find out that Gaby was actually a boy and that seemed to account for a lot of his stress,” Karen pointed out. “What do you think would’ve happened if Gaby was found out to be a boy in a dress?”

“I don’t know. I guess I thought she’d just be teased then Miss C an’ Miss Bell showed me something online with a list of names of people who were killed because of how they looked,” Em lamented.

“The Transgender Day of Remembrance web site,” Jessica interjected for the benefit of the two doctors.

“What did you think of that, Em?” Maggie asked after glancing over to Karen.

“I could’ve gotten my mate killed!” Em tearfully replied.

Karen noted Em’s use of ‘mate’ and started to make a note until Fran hastily intervened with a translation.

“It’s common slang for ‘best friend’ … not how you’re thinking,” Fran half-joked. Karen nodded with a huge smile and put down the pen. She also went on with a possible explanation for Em’s initial under-estimation of the seriousness of her actions.

“I guess in Warsop we live a bit of a sheltered existence compared to here. People tend to have the attitude ‘live and let live’ and she’d never really had been exposed to the bad side of humanity until she saw that.”

“It’d be nice if there was more of that in this country!” Maggie fervently suggested.

“Amen!” uttered Karen.

“Em’s actions toward Drew or rather, Gaby … were initially seen as harmless practical jokes that might result in some teasing … not something that could’ve gotten her friend seriously hurt,” Jessica remarked as she finished Fran’s defense of Em.

You’re not going to let Gaby go to the dance Thursday, are you?”

“She’s not going, Em … so don’t worry,” Jessica asserted.

“Dance?” Karen asked after seeing a spike in Em’s concern for her friend. As she was going to push the point, both she and Maggie noticed a discreet shake of the head and a look from Jessica that told them to ‘let it go’.

Again, Karen took up the reins of the conversation.

“Em, would you like to come in and have a chat with me before you go home? I could at least get you the names of some doctors a little closer to home that you could see who could help you through all of this.”

“I’d love that Dr. Page … thank you!”

“Maybe we can even work some time in tomorrow afternoon so you and I can have a chat … we’ll see. I’ll phone either Jessica or Fran and have one of them let you know. Would that be all right with you?”

“Yes!” Em beamed.

“Now … how’s about you heading back up to bed and try to get some sleep. You still have school tomorrow,” Jessica gently brought Em back into reality.

“Sandy?”

“I’ll run you in, don’t worry. Miss Cowlishaw and I have things to do tomorrow, but if either of us can’t pick you up … I’m sure Mrs. Walters will … then when we finish, one of us will come pick you up from there.”

“Em? Can you do us a favour?” Fran asked as Em turned to head up the stairs. “Don’t mention anything you’ve heard or talked about to anyone else … not yet, anyways.”

“I promise I won’t say anything until you say that it’s okay.” With that declaration, Em scurried up the stairs and into Maddy’s room. Once they heard the door close, the four women resumed their discussion.

“The dance?”

Jessica took up the thread of the tale at this point, and quickly described what information Em and then Brit had given them about what was to happen at the dance. She also let the doctors know that she was officially excusing Gaby from the dance given the situation.

Jess then finished up stating “Since this is all just ‘he said-she said’ information, and we have no way to prove any of it, we do have to let the dance go ahead as scheduled. But I think it is information you know when dealing with Maddy.”

“We know we need to speak to Maddy…” Fran quietly announced. “…Possibly tomorrow, sometime. I’d like to hear her side before I speak to the Headmaster of our school.”

“We’ll have to coordinate that. She and her mother are getting together with Karen during the day, tomorrow … and I’ve sessions set up with the Bond’s and that could well be followed by a group session with all of them,” Maggie outlined.

“Fran … I realise that you’ve got to make some decisions and inform your Headmaster of … ‘events’, but can ask you wait until we get a bit more of this puzzle figured out? Tomorrow should provide a lot of those missing pieces.” Maggie pleaded

“I can wait and see what develops tomorrow, if that’ll help.”

“Thanks, Fran,” Maggie replied before turning her focus on her friend.

“Can you and Fran be available throughout the day tomorrow? Possibly get a substitute?”

“No problem on both counts.”

“Great! Also … just in case… can you have Brit and Em on standby as well? I know that if we can, Karen would like to fit in a session with Em tomorrow and I think it may be necessary to have both girls speak their piece in front of the parents, if no one else.”

“I’ll tell Em we’re all staying ‘home’ tomorrow,” Jessica replied. “I’ve already told the Walters to keep both girls at home tomorrow, as well.”

“Okay, then. I think Karen and I need to huddle and come up with a definitive plan for tomorrow. I’ll give you a call in the morning.” Karen and Maggie then got up and got ready to leave.

“Right now, Drew’s ‘priority one’ … we’ll worry about damage control after this is all over,” Jessica commented as Fran nodded in agreement.

As Maggie as Karen left the house and the door closed behind them, the two women went over to the couch and dropped into it, sagging with relief.

“Thank God Drew’s awake and okay. That’s one piece of good news anyways...” Fran sighed.

“…And it was nice of Karen to offer to sit down with Em and talk to her.” Jessica added.

“*sigh* … I know! I don’t know about you, Jess … but I’m knackered!” Fran announced.

“I’ll phone the Walters before we call it a night and let Jocelyn know that we may need Brit tomorrow,” Jessica mentioned.

“Can I just close my eyes while you do that?” Fran plaintively asked.

“I’ve got another bedroom, Fran … if you want to stay here tonight. I’m sure I can dig up a nightgown and we could run by your place in the morning to grab a change of clothes … or we could slip over now, grab a few things and come back here. It may make more sense, if we’re together when Maggie calls.”

“Sounds good. Let’s go now and I can grab a few things, then we can come back and relax for what’s left of the evening. I know I’ll sleep better tonight knowing Drew’s with his parents,” Fran agreed, after allowing a big yawn.

Chapter 15

As Maggie and Karen drove away, Karen was the first to break the silence.

“Damn! Could this get any MORE complicated?!

“Is it really?” Maggie questioned, as they drove back to Karen’s hotel. “What Fran said tonight about the prevalent attitude in Warsop … that seems to be the missing piece ... the initial motivation for the kids while Gaby was here.”

“Certainly might explain Em and Maddy’s belief that Gaby would be humiliated, but not physically harmed … but Britney surely is aware of the prevalent attitude here,” Karen countered.

“As her sister clearly proved … it was all a matter of her social standing and misplaced priorities,” Maggie pointed out, reminding Karen of Jessica’s summary of Britney’s ‘confession’ at the Walters.

“Okay … I admit it fills in a gap or two, but it doesn’t address Maddy’s actions concerning Drew and Gaby, back in Warsop. Is it enough to admit she’s a lesbian and in deeply in love with Gaby? She’s admitted Drew wasn’t effeminate, so what made her choose to use him to make her ‘dream girl’ come alive? Did she somehow ‘see’ Drew’s true gender?”

“While you’re busy thinking of that, try to reason why she wanted Gaby here 24/7.”

“Easy … she wanted her girlfriend here,” Karen reasoned.

“But why the change in attitude towards her … from a loving, caring girlfriend … to … anything but! Gaby did nothing, so something had to spark Maddy’s change,” Maggie thoughtfully proposed.

“I did say ‘complicated’…” Karen joked. “I admit, the one bright spot in all this, is Gaby, herself. So far, she’s seemed to adapt quite well to no longer pretending to be Gaby, but living as Gaby. I doubt we’ll find she needs much help adjusting.”

“Speaking of help, Karen … you see Em’s face light up when you offered to talk with her?”

The two fell silent during the rest of the short drive, each deep in their own thoughts trying to make sense of all they had learned to date. After she swung into the hotel’s entrance and drove around to the front doors, Maggie put her hand on Karen’s arm as she stopped the car.

“I’ve been thinking … all this talk of attitude and social standing. Maybe we should look at that as well. What’s different for these kids … between Warsop and here?”

“You mean besides the bigotry that presides here … the ‘If it’s different, kill it’ mentality?” Karen quipped.

“Kind of … when you think about it … all these kids, including Maddy, have been manipulated by their social surroundings.”

“We all are,” Karen pointed out.

“True, but let’s take Maddy as a ‘fer instance’. When she arrived here, according to Gaby … the two were loving girlfriends and she recognized Gaby was Drew. In other words … ‘situation normal’. As the visit dragged on, Maddy’s attitude began to change and we all know what happened at the Cheer Competition … and earlier tonight. Why the change?”

“That’s the question we’d both like answered.”

“Come right down to it … all of Gaby’s friends in Warsop, are now, if not hostile … at least indifferent to her. Why? Do the social environments they found themselves in, differ from Gaby’s? What’s common … what’s different? The mystery may deepen, Karen … but the more I think about it … the more I’m convinced that we’ve got to start looking at more than just the individual kids. We have to look at what is influencing these kids … or to put it another way … what has been recently influencing these kids?”

Karen knew Maggie well enough to know that when she latched onto a theory, it was usually worthy of further exploration.

“Put like that, you may be on to something. Maybe that’s something we should explore when we next see Maddy … maybe even ask Jessica and Fran about it. It might be grasping at straws, but the answer to unlock their behavior, may also be there.”

When Maggie looked over to the passenger seat, she could see the wheels turning in Karen’s head as she pondered her friend’s words.

“Mags … we can’t just sit here. It’s a no parking zone. Park the car, I’ll wait here … then we’ll continue this in my room.” Seeing Maggie was about to say something, Karen quickly spoke up.

“We’ve still got a few things to tie up tonight … like the Bonds … you promised Jenny you’d get back to her … and what’re we going to do about tomorrow?”

“OKAY! … OUT! … I’ll go park the car and be right back,” Maggie laughed as she capitulated to her friend’s logic.

~o~O~o~

Up in Karen’s room they continued their conversation.

“We definitely need to speak with the Bonds tonight. And we need to figure out how we are going to deal with Maddy as it concerns tonight’s encounter with Gaby, and incorporating everything else that has been uncovered today.”

“Well Karen, here are my thoughts. Let me go through them all, and then you can pick them apart for me.

First, when we meet the Bonds tonight, we relate to them everything we have learned so far. We do that because it all affects Gaby.

Second, we have a session with just the four of them in the morning before we meet with all six of them. In that session we lay it all out for Gaby. I think it’s important to do that, even though I know it is going to cause her a great deal of emotional pain. I think that the only way for her to move forward with her life, and come to terms with al of what has been done to her is complete information.

I also am pretty sure that once she hears all of this she will get very angry. And as much as anger is a negative emotion I think it is necessary for her to let it out in a controlled environment.

I also think it is important that we show her how Em was manipulated by Maddy, and how Em’s naiveté couldn’t let her see what she was doing to her mate.

Third, we bring Maddy and Carol into the room. And we confront Maddy with everything. It’s obvious she did not tell us anywhere near the whole truth the other day. And I think we have Fran, Jessica, Em and Brit in another room where they can be brought in to refute any denials she tries to make.

Assuming we get through to Maddy and her mother, I think they need to meet with Fran to discuss what will happen there. I know that it’s not really our purview, but it may help provide some closure on the whole situation for a number of people.

At that time, I think it might be the right time for you to meet with Em. It’s obvious that she’s transgendered and needs some guidance. And you can certainly get her the pertinent referrals in England, and send a copy of her file home with Fran to pass on to Em’s mother.

After that, well….I think we give Gaby her physical tests to make sure she is okay to ride in her race; have a bit of a wrap up with them, and then you and I go out for a well-deserved dinner and relaxing evening.”

“Well Mags, I think that overall that’s a sound strategy to go with tomorrow. Although you are forgetting that Fran wanted us to sit in on the conference call with the Headmaster in Warsop. That will also likely result in some actions being taken against Maddy. For which there will be some emotional fallout for everyone. So we will likely be needed there for a while. But I think we can do that after the physical tests and before call it a day. The time change is only 5 hours between here and England.

I think young Miss Peters is in for a very uncomfortable day tomorrow. I know that Miss Walters has already been told of her punishment, but I also think it’s important over the next week or so that she see a therapist to talk about what happened and how she feels about the punishment she received. Unless we can help her discover the reasons behind her ‘prankmeister’ behaviour, she is likely to slip back into that behaviour and then we have gained nothing from all of this.

You’re right about Em. I do need to talk to her tomorrow, not only because of her gender issues, but because she may face discipline from that conference call as well. And if she does, I want to at least have had a chance to talk to her and do a basic assessment that I can send back to England.

And I think we are going to be doing a lot of refereeing in the session between the Bonds and the Peters. If Gaby started to let loose earlier this evening, then she’s ready to confront Maddy about her actions. Which is good from the standpoint that she has finally drawn a line in the sand in regards to what she will do to please others and what she won’t do.

If nothing else, it should be exciting.

Other than that I think you have everything covered.

Well, almost everything. I do have one other trick up my sleeve for helping Em. It just so happens that Sandy is one of my patients. I will call her once I can determine a time to see Em, and will ask her to come in and see me an hour before so we can talk about how she is feeling about this. With any luck she will agree to stay so we can talk to Em together. I think it is fairly obvious at this point that Em was manipulated into playing these pranks on Gaby.

Which brings up another point I guess. We’re going to have to discuss this with Gaby and her family as well. I think it is important for Gaby to realize that this harassment was not totally widespread, but orchestrated by a couple of people. That may help her get past what has happened, at least in terms of Em. And perhaps show her that the entire world isn’t against her. That it is only a very few people that act like this.

It is going to shatter a lot of her illusions I’m afraid, but at least she will be able to leave here knowing that it was only a couple of people responsible; and that her friends from home, for the most part, are still her friends.”

“Truly Karen, it’s always sad to see the end of that innocence in any child.

But there is still much good to have come from this. Gaby knows who she truly is; a least two other people have learned or will learn that you can’t do whatever you want to people with no consequences; and a trans woman has self-identified and we have the ability to give her some help as well.

All in all, out of all the heartache and pain, there have been some achievements.”

~o~O~o~

Back at the Bonds’ hotel, things were a little tense to say the least. None of Gaby’s family had ever seen her act like that, and they were both surprised, and if truth be known, a little frightened. Her outburst with Maddy was so unlike her, particularly given that they all knew how she felt about Maddy – or thought they did.

“All right Miss Gabrielle Bond. Would you like to explain that little outburst to your father and I?”

“You heard the comment she made mum! Well, I had finally had enough! She’s been at me the whole trip, dropping insulting little comments, working at winding me up, putting me in places that I could get discovered and lots more!

And since I started talking to Dr. Maggie and Dr. Karen I’ve been thinking about a lot of things. And I’ve been thinking of all the times I ‘mysteriously’ just ‘had’ to become Gaby – the number of times I KNOW I packed Drew clothes when going to a race, only to find that they were either gone or switched to Gaby clothes; the number of times the solvent remover for my breast forms either ‘disappeared’ or ‘the bottle broke’ – like the trip to Paris – and I had to go as Gaby. And the more I thought about it the more I realized that in all those cases Maddy was present.

And after what she did at the Cheer Competition, I was done.

I love her, mum. I love her with all my heart. But it seems that all she wants me for is shits and giggles. To play with like a cat plays with a mouse.

No more!”

“Okay petal, I can understand that. And I can understand why you lost your temper and slapped her. I guess if I had been treated that way I’d be pretty angry with Maddy too.

But what were the comments you directed at your Aunt Carol? Did I miss something?”

“While you were in Germany mum, Aunt Carol took me shopping to get Maddy’s birthday present.”

“Oh yes, I remember her telling me about that. You two found a nice dress for Maddy.”

“Obviously she didn’t tell you the whole story mum, if that’s all you remember.”

“What do you mean Gaby?”

“Well, I’d gotten a bit sick while I was at Maddy’s, so they kept me there for a few days while I got better. Aunty Carol looked after me.

The one day I was really starting to feel better, Aunt Carol asked me if I would go and help her find a present for Maddy. I said yes.

Then I found out she wanted me to go as Gaby.

So she put curlers in my hair and did my hair, got me one of Mad’s tracksuits – a pink one – did my face and off we went. I was really not keen about going.

I told Aunty Carol about it, and she said if I got to where I was feeling uncomfortable we would leave.

Silly me, I took her at her word.

I mean, it was okay at first because we did some grocery shopping and general shopping; but then we went on the hunt for the perfect dress or Maddy and I tried on clothes in store after store. And more than once I had asked her if we were nearly done because I wasn’t really happy being out there as Gaby.

Then we went to this really snooty shop that Mrs. Clements owns and Aunty Carol starts acting like Hyacinth bloody Bucket.

Letting the shop girl refer to me as her daughter and not correcting her, putting on some upper crust voice, and making me feel really uncomfortable.

Four bloody times I tried to leave because I was uncomfortable and she just freaking ignored it. It wasn’t until I walked out of the bloody shop and headed for the train that she actually felt she might’ve crossed the line.

She ‘apologized’ to me on the way home in the car. But it was a halfhearted apology at best.

I mean, there I was, in an upper crust dress shop – a boy – with glued on boobs and a gaff, trying on dresses. Put yourself in my shoes, mum! I was shitting myself! And I told her it was a shitty thing to do. How would she have liked it if Maddy called you mum? Cause it seemed like that’s what she wanted me to do when we were out.”

“Let me get this straight. She got you to dress up as Gaby, took you out shopping for a present for Maddy – and I assume it was because you and Maddy are the same size – to try on dresses. And you went to multiple stores, where on more than one occasion you told her you were uncomfortable and wanted to go.

And she just kept going.”

“That’s pretty much it mum.”

“And, it wasn’t until you walked away, prepared to catch the train to get home to Warsop that she actually took you seriously?”

“Yup.”

Looking at Dave, who could see the ire in her face, Jenny continued.

“No pet, that is definitely not the story she told me. I’m so sorry you had to do that when it made you so uncomfortable.

I know it’s a bit late now Gaby, but having heard what we’ve heard over the past couple of days I can understand why you might think we all wanted to see Gaby more than we did Drew. I hope you know that it wasn’t that at all.

In some respects your dad and I weren’t sure what to think to be honest. You seemed equally comfortable either way sometimes. And yes, there were a few times we forced you into it I know. And for that both your father and I are very, very sorry.

None of us would ever hurt you on purpose pet.”

“I know that now mum. It was just so hard sometimes. It just felt like you were happier with Gaby along. I mean, even in Europe, you never corrected your team mates when there was a chance to. And when the press called me Gaby and a girl, they never got corrected either.”

Gaby was now getting a bit angry again. Things she had kept bottled up were now coming to the surface and beginning to bubble over.

Sod it! They want to know how I feel, then it’s time to let them know. I know I let myself get talked into a lot of stuff, but at least when I was with them they could have honoured my wishes. And Dr. Maggie and Dr. Karen have both said to me I need to talk about this stuff. No time like the present I guess.

“I mean, it really, really hurt. There I am trying to be someone I’m not, and none of you are doing anything to stop it. In fact from my point of view, you were all doing everything you could to encourage it. And every time I tried to say something about it, you all bloody well just brushed it off like it was nothing! It was like Drew, unless he was on a frigging bicycle, should be kept locked away in a closet, until the next race.

Mum, do you realize you NEVER saw Drew race? And now, you never will. I’m really proud of everything I’ve accomplished on a bike, but it just seems like the lot of you would be happier if it had been Gaby doing all those things on the bike, not Drew.

Do you know why it was always Gaby going to the smart affairs with you or Dad, and not Drew? Do you?

It’s because Drew never had any smart clothes that he could wear! All the smart clothes I had were either stuff for Gaby, or were yours and Jules hand-me-downs or just borrowed from you two. Because you would look in my closet, see there was nothing suitable to wear and then it would get decided I would have to be Gaby. Not one of you asked me whether I wanted to or not.

Did it occur to anyone that maybe buying some smart clothes for Drew might have been an option at some point? That maybe Drew wanted to be at some of these events with his family? Not attend them dressed up as Gaby, sitting on the edge of his seat and praying to God that no one discovered it was Drew in a dress?!

Obviously not!

You were in Germany and not likely ever going to be home for more than a day or two; and dad was left holding the bag – trying to earn a living and look after me and Jules – as well as fixing all my bikes and making sure everything was just tickety-boo for racing. He had no time left for doing some of those little things that matter, because he was trying to be both parents at the same time.

Do you have any idea mum, how much it hurt when you just signed a pro contract without even telling us, let alone talking to us about it? I really wondered if you were running away from us then. It was like we were just an old pair of shoes to be put aside when you got tired of them. You left us to live your dream. Like it was ‘Sod you lot, I want to be a cyclist and you’re in my way’. That’s how it felt to me anyways.

And after that I lived for your phone calls, cuz it meant my mum was still out there and still thought of me. And I was really proud of everything you were doing, but I always wished you could have done it either from home or at least closer to home.

And then you call up when you’re actually sick, and instead of telling us the truth, you tell us instead that you’re going to divorce dad and you’ve found a new guy in Germany. And you’d be staying there, and ‘would see us when you could’. That just killed me, watching what that did to dad and Jules. And to me too. I didn’t know what to do or think, so I just put in as many miles on the bike as I could so I didn’t have to think about it.

So that all blows up, we find out you’re sick and you come home to us. And not just sick, but cancer sick. Really bad cancer sick. Like you could die at any time sick.

We’re just starting to get back together as a family, and you sent us away. And not just ‘us’. But you sent Gaby and Jules off – not Drew. You both knew that I would have to be there for the Cheer Team because it was something that I’d agreed to do. And I know I did that just to please a lot of other people – I know that. But I thought I might get some time as Drew here. It didn’t occur to me that if Gaby only showed up for Cheer practice and the Cheer Comp questions would be asked.

But why didn’t either of you think of that?

Jules and I aren’t stupid! We both knew you might die. We didn’t want to accept that or deal with it, but we both knew.

And you sent us away even after we said we wanted to stay.”

Tears were now dripping down Gaby’s face as she talked. Her family could see she had more to say, so they just sat silently, waiting. You could see what Gaby had said so far had affected everyone else very deeply. All of them were just beginning to realize how badly Gaby had been hurt by everything that happened. You could see looks of horror and guilt crossing the faces of Dave and Jenny; and guilt and agreement with Gaby were written all over Jules’ face. It was obvious she felt much the same as Gaby when it came to what Jenny had done.

Oh my God! I thought I knew what effect my signing that contract had been, but I’ve been so wrong. I’ve been an incredibly selfish cow, and I had no idea that they took my being away so badly.

What have I done?!

God I’m just a gigantic fool. And I don’t even know if I can ever make this right with any of them. I was more worried about myself than I was about my family.

And Dave put up with it, as did the kids. And none of them ever said a word. But I have obviously hurt them a great deal.

“I mean, I’ve always known I was different, but up until the other day I never truly knew how. I’d have had to have been a complete plonker not to notice that none of my guy friends were being mistaken for girls. Yet, a lot of the time we would be out as a group I would get mistaken for a girl.

At first I put it down to me and Maddy looking a lot alike. But as time went on, and it happened more and more, it was hard to put it down to just that. Cuz it wasn’t happening to Paul or Clive – or even Rhod for that matter. Just to me. Most of the time I could just ignore it, but sometimes…..

So I just kind of locked it away where I wouldn’t have to think about it.

I dunno if you guys can understand this. I mean, about the not knowing how you’re different. It’s a little like feeling….oh….like feeling out of step with the rest of the world I guess. Like everybody is kind of like one degree removed from you. That no matter what you do, you can’t fit in, because there is something in you that is not the same as everybody else.

And you try everything you can think of to try and fit it. And will do almost anything to make it happen. And once you do start to fit in somewhere, somehow….giving it up …well giving it up is just not an option somehow. So if it meant being at Sports Day as Gaby or it meant being on the Cheer Team, I was willing to do that.

Mum, you and dad having been telling me for some time that I need to stop letting myself get talked into things. I know you’re right, but it’s a really hard thing to do when you’ve spent your life doing whatever it took to try and fit in with your friends. Well, truthfully, doing whatever it took to get those friends in the first place.

And when Maddy became interested in me? Well, I was over the moon. Here was somebody that loved me. Me! The different one…the freak! And she didn’t seem to mind that I was different. I’d have walked over hot coals for her. I’d have hiked through Trafalgar Square starkers for her if she’d asked me!

I don’t know if you can understand what her caring for me really meant to me. God knows I’m not sure I totally understand it myself. All I knew was that she wanted to be MY girlfriend. And that was enough.

For the first time in my life I felt kind of normal. I was just a boy who now had a girlfriend. I wasn’t so different from the rest of my friends. I wasn’t looking in through the window anymore. And it felt good.

And then my body began to change – whether I liked it or not.

Just when Drew was being accepted and loved by everyone around him things began to change.
You and dad were proud of me and what I’d been able to do on my bike; Jules no longer looked at me like some kind of amoeba; and I had a group of friends who liked me, cared about me, and for the first time I had someone who I loved and who I thought loved me.

And as much as I knew I was different somehow, I wasn’t ready to give up everything. It took me so long to get there I just didn’t want the feeling to go away.

So I tried to ignore what was happening to me, and I tried to hide what was happening to my body.”

Gaby’s voice took on a self-mocking tone as she continued.

“Not like that worked very well, did it?

I’ve been thinking a lot lately. Well, I had a lot of time when I was here. I pretty much was either at the Walters or on a bike, it wasn’t like I was really doing much of anything else.

And as Maddy and Em continued to pull their stupid stunts it made me feel worse and worse. I mean, Rhod was Drew’s best mate and Maddy was his girlfriend. But that didn’t seem to matter to them. The only thing that seemed to matter was the mind games and getting their jollies from making me feel miserable.

And when I lost it after the Cheer Comp – those two had been picking at me all day – I got really confused about who I was or who I was supposed to be. It was like they were messing with both Drew and Gaby at the same time. And if I’m honest it was mostly Maddy at the Cheer Comp. Em was just the person she was bouncing her remarks off of. It could have been any of the gang.

And after we got back to the Walters I just kept thinking about it. I couldn’t get all of the things Maddy had done and said out of my mind.”

Dave and Jenny had tears of their own by this time. To hear their daughter’s stark recitation of what life had been like for her both at home and here in Grottoes saddened and angered them both. Jenny had insisted the kids come to America so they wouldn’t miss out on what she was sure would be a wonderful experience; and Dave had wanted them to come so they wouldn’t be home when Jenny had her surgery, and in case the worst had happened – he didn’t want either of them to be personally confronted by Jenny’s death.

Why did I insist the two of them come here?! This has been absolute hell for Gaby. And although Jules downplays her role, without her Gaby would have fallen apart much sooner. Jules has grown up so much and so fast because of all of this.

I know Dave didn’t want them at home in case something happened to me, and either of them be the one to see it happen or come across me at home if it happened there. And I guess given the prognosis at the time, it was probably wise. But it doesn’t make this any easier to deal with.

To be honest, I guess that was on my mind too.

I have never seen Gaby lose her temper like that though. And that is somewhat concerning too. Although from what she has just been telling us, it was certainly justified, and long since. I just wish we had known that ‘Drew’ was having issues long before now. Poor little poppet – she was just so quiet and went along with everything.

What was it that Maggie said about trans children? Oh yes, they learn very early that they’re different and learn to hide it equally as early.

I wonder if Gaby just going along with everything was her way of trying to fade into the woodwork. To be seen as one of the gang and not be labeled as different.

And whether I truly want to admit it or not, as a teacher I know how children treat others that they perceive as ‘different’. And it certainly is not all sweetness and light.

But I really think we need to let Gaby talk right now. She’s told us more in the last few minutes than I’ve ever heard from her before. Perhaps she now knows, deep down, that she can trust us with her secrets. And trust us not to try and hurt her with them.

“Mum?”

“Sorry pet, lost in thought for a moment there. Please go on.”

“’Kay.

Well, I have to admit, after I woke up and started talking to Dr. Maggie and Dr. Karen I was pretty p.o’ed at Jules for going along with dressing me up. But after Dr. Maggie played…now what did she call it?....oh yes, Devil’s Advocate – she gave me a couple of different reasons Jules might have wanted to see me dressed as a girl. And when I stopped and thought about the reasons she gave and I thought about when it happened, I came to two conclusions.

First thing I figured out is that Jules just wanted to see what having a little sister looked like. Am I right Jules?”

Jules sheepishly nodded her head.

“Second thing was around the costumes for the Cons and the Disco. I finally figured out that Jules was really just looking out for me. She was trying to make me as much of a girl as possible, so no one would recognize me and out me. And I only realized that when I thought about those while thinking about our visit here. Jules has done everything she can here in Grottoes to make sure I didn’t get found out, and it only made sense to me that she was doing the same then.

That about right too, Jules?”

Jules blushed and nodded.

“I had to Gabs. I couldn’t let you go out where somebody might figure things out. It’s why I chose the girliest costume for one of the Cons. Nobody would ever expect a ‘boy’ to either look that good or that feminine – let alone wear a costume like that.

Kinda like hiding in plain sight.

As for here? Well, it’s actually been really nice getting to be your big sister, and teaching you stuff that I know about. And it’s been nice having a little sister.

It’s not that I didn’t like or love Drew. It’s just that sisters just naturally get closer I think. And it’s been really nice seeing Gaby come to complete life. I mean, I know Maddy was doing it for whatever reasons she had; but I always figured that if you were going to go out as Gaby then you had to be as safe as I could help make it.

And yeah, sometimes it was kind of fun to have a life sized Barbie doll. I admit that. But most of all, it was just cool to see what having a little sister would look like and maybe be like.

And now I have a little sister.

But, remember what I said about always looking out for you?”

“Errm, ye-es.”

“Are you ready to hear my opinion on what’s been going on?”

“Ummmm……….I guess so, sis.”

“Maddy has been playing everyone like a virtuoso. She could give Andrew Davis lessons for the final night of the Proms.

Everything she does only has one goal in mind. To get what she wants. And she will do whatever it takes and hurt anyone who she thinks is in her way to get it!

That slag has been using you as her own personal plaything for a bloody long time!

I know you love her Gabs. I know you do. But she has done everything she bloody could to make Drew disappear from the face of the earth. You said you figured out she was doing everything she could to make you be Gaby as often as she could.

And she was playing ‘mind games’ all the time.

Was she just going to stop at changing the outside? Or was she going to try and change the inside you too? Maybe make you want to give up cycling for her? “

“I’d never give up cycling!”

“Well, you told me you didn’t want to be on the Cheer Team, but she got you to do that. And she got you to be Gaby for Sports Day; and I’ll bet she egged you on for the modeling thing for Timber, didn’t she? And she, through Brit, got you here for 6 weeks as Gaby.

Or is she just going to keep pushing you to do the things she wants until you have no time left for biking? Cuz that’s what it looks like from here.

I love you Sis, but you have got to stop letting her and everyone else walk all over you. I know why you do it, but it’s time to stand up for yourself.

I was actually glad when you smacked her tonight!

She’s had it coming for a long time, and I’m glad you finally saw Maddy for what she is.

A manipulative bloody cow!

And mum…dad? I hate to say this but from where I sit, Aunty Carol has been letting her get away with it and in some ways encouraging it for a long time. I know that Gaby and Maddy were kinda hiding things from everybody for a long time, but Aunty Carol has always encouraged Gaby to be around and has been letting Maddy manipulate her too.

Gabs, I guess we all had our reasons for making you appear. And I’m really sorry if I made you feel bad by wanting Gaby to appear when you wanted to be Drew. I really didn’t mean to. You just never seemed to mind and went along with it.

Although I guess I can see now why you always went along with things and were always trying to please everybody else.”

Dave had been pretty much silent up to this point, his face not showing his emotions as he heard his youngest daughter speak.

“Princess, do you mind if I talk about things for a minute here?”

“Of course not dad. Please go ahead.”

“I know there were a lot of times when you suddenly became Gaby after a race or training session. And I know a lot of times I seemed exasperated with you. And I’m sorry that I had no idea what was really going on.

It just sometimes seemed to me that you preferred being Gaby.

I can see now, that it was more likely Maddy making sure you had to be Gaby. Which makes me feel like a bit of a plonker myself for not having caught on. But then since none of us really figured it out until now, she was obviously very good at it.”

Dave stopped for a moment, and sat back, considering his next words.

“And I know that there were a number of times when we made you go out as Gaby. And that was wrong of your mother and I; we weren’t considering how you felt about being Gaby. I guess we were kind of taking the path of least resistance and it obviously wasn’t the right path. Unfortunately princess, parents aren’t infallible either. Sometimes we can be as blind and foolish as anyone else. Sometimes we go with what seems easiest. I know it’s not right, but it is the way it happens sometimes.

And yes, I should have thought of taking Drew out to buy some smart clothes. All I can say is that it just didn’t occur to me very often, and when it did it was either too late to get it done in time or we were at a race or the like.

With just the three of us at home most of the time, there was always so much to do, that I’m afraid that clothes shopping just kind of dropped down on the list of priorities.

I know these all just sound like excuses Gaby, but really they aren’t. I’m just trying to explain what happened. God knows I’m far from perfect, but you have to know I have always given it my best dear.

Sweetheart, if anyone is to blame for you two coming here when your mum was so sick, it’s me. If I’m being really honest, I didn’t want you two to be at home if the worst had happened.

If that had happened I wanted you two to have happy memories of your mum, not bad ones.”

Dave’s mind flitted back to when Jenny had come home, and the conversations they had had. How they had discussed Jenny’s illness and what would happen if she died. How it would be handled with the children, and what they could do to minimize the emotional impact on them.

A look of sorrow crossed his face as he recalled the conversation about the trip to the US.

“Sad to say, we even discussed the likelihood of Drew having to be Gaby the whole time he was here. Gaby was right – we did see the inherent problem of Gaby only showing up for Cheer practices and competitions and Drew being there the rest of the time. And yet somehow we decided that being Gaby would be better than being at home if Jenny died.

Obviously that was a mistake!

Dave drew himself back into the here and now and looked at Gaby.

“And yes, the thought that you might have to be Gaby the whole trip did cross our minds. And somehow, for whatever reason, we thought that would be better than being at home.

We were wrong Gaby.

No excuses pet. We messed up. And I think that if we could take back that decision we probably would. At the very least we would have sat down and explained all the issues we saw.

But at the time we thought it better than perhaps seeing your mum die.

And we thought that because you never seemed to mind being Gaby and you just went along with the flow. I think both your mum and I can see that that wasn’t the case. I think all of us can now see who was orchestrating the appearances of Gaby on a regular basis.

As for why she did what she did, we will have to try and find that out.”

“Dad, I get that. It made me so mad because it felt that you guys didn’t really care if Drew existed or not! And I tried so hard…….”

“We know that now Gaby. And I know you are probably extremely disappointed with all of us, and probably pretty mad too. If I were in your shoes, I think I would be.

But unfortunately, we don’t get to turn back the clock and have a ‘do-over’. I think your mum and Jules and I would dearly love to be able to have that, but it’s just not possible. All we can do is deal with what is in front of us today and decide how we move forward from here.

But I have a question for you pet.”

“What’s that Dad?”

“We-ell, it’s like this. Do you think that even without all of this happening, that this – and by this I mean you accepting and being Gaby – would have eventually happened anyways?”

Gaby cocked her head and opened her mouth to reply, and then stopped. And then sat back in deep concentration for a minute or two.

“Eermmm….good question Dad. I really hadn’t thought about that at all. Let me think for a minute.”

“Take your time Gaby. We have all the time that you need.”

Gaby sat back again, deep in thought.

“Geeze, I never really thought about that!

I was trying so hard to be Drew all the time, and that took all of my energy. I know for sure now that this is who I am. And who I always should have been.

Why does this p.o me so much that Mum never saw Drew race?

Didn’t I tell Maddy ‘Is Drew not Gaby, and Gaby not Drew?’ at the Cheer Comp?

Would I have gotten to being Gaby even without all of this happening?

If Dr. Maggie and Dr. Karen are right, then it would have come out before too much longer that I was really a girl. And I’d have likely ended up in hospital while they tried to figure out what was ‘wrong’ with me.

Then everyone and their bleeding dog would have looked at me like some type of freak. The whole bloody school and town would have known what was going on.

So, on the one hand yes, I would have gotten here sooner or later, more likely sooner if Dr. Maggie is right.

But would I have ever come out and said ‘I am Gaby’ if I didn’t have to?

Whoo-eee! That’s a tough one!

Well if Maddy had her way Drew would have completely disappeared! It might have taken more time, but if I’m being honest, I know I’d have probably done what she asked.

Which would have meant that ‘Drew’ would have been more established in everybody’s minds. And the longer time it took, the worse the outing would have been.

Geeze, I really don’t know!

But I do know it would have been worse to become Gaby later, and at home. Or at Maddy’s insistence. Well, way more public anyways. Which would suck!

But now that I look at Maddy was doing here and at home, and what Brit was doing here; it makes me want to puke!

It’s like the two of them wanted to out me in public just for some sick laughs! And while it might not have been so bad at home, I have seen how they treat people who are different here.

I mean I could have gotten beaten to a pulp!

So what is their fucking problem?!

Gaby’s family could see a variety of emotions crossing her face as she thought about things. Knowing she was puzzling things out, they waited quietly. More than just the question her Dad had asked was flitting through her mind. But everything that happened weighed on what her dad had asked her.

I mean Mad really seems to take some kind of sick pleasure in winding me up, and putting me in situations where if I say a frigging word, I will out myself. And she is so sure I will keep coming back to her, no matter what she does! Well, I always have in the past, so I guess she has a reason to think that.

Did she see the girl in me somehow? Does it matter if she did or not? She says she loves me one minute, and then next is making fun of me or pushing me away.

No matter. You don’t treat someone you say you love like she has treated me. I have never treated her like that, and have always shown her how much I love her.

It’s like I’m some sort of play toy to her – to be taken out when she wants to have some fun and then tossed aside when it bloody suits her!

NO MORE!

As much as I love her, if I keep going on like this, she’ll figure she can do what she wants and get away with it.

I am NOT a toy! I am NOT going to let her mess with me OR my family and friends anymore! We are done!

And Brit?! Oh that girl is going to get a piece of my mind! Deb was such a good host to Jules, but Brit couldn’t have cared less if I was here or not. Except when it suited her. And I think she only introduced me to Erin ‘cuz she felt guilty.

And I can see now that the two of them had this whole thing planned out.

So if I’d stayed home and none of this had happened……and things had gone on like ‘normal’ at home, would I still have become Gaby? And would I have ever seen through what Maddy was doing?

Yeah, I guess I would have ended up here. But a lot more people would have known and it might have been a whole lot messier.

“Sorry Dad – Mum – Jules. I was thinking about it all. You know, what’s happened here; what would have happened if I hadn’t come here or had come as Drew…..all that stuff”

“It’s okay, Gaby” intoned her mother “It’s a lot to take in and think about.”

“To answer your question Dad, yes I would have ended up here. And a couple of the ways that could have happened would have been much more public and probably would have hurt all of us a whole lot more.

I mean, even if you take away the icky medical parts, I would have still ended up here. Exactly when I couldn’t tell you, but yes I would.

And I guess part of the reason I know that is that like I said before, I’d have had to have been a complete plonker not to see what was going on being ‘mistaken’ for a girl so often. And I don’t think I could have ignored what was happening to my body that much longer.

But I’m still trying to figure out why it disappoints me so much that Mum never got to see Drew race, and why it hurts that none of you guys ever tried to correct people when I was seen as Gaby when I was trying to be Drew.

I mean, I get it that now it actually is better and there’ll be less explanations required to a lot of people. But I have to say it really pee’d me off that it always seemed you guys were happier when Gaby was around.”

Jenny then piped up.

“Petal, could I give it a shot of answering that, since I’m the one that never corrected anyone. And I was probably the worst at doing it?”

“Umm….okay mum.”

“Well, first I have to tell you I’m very sorry that I ever made you feel not wanted or loved by me. Actually I need to apologize to all of you.”

Jenny looked around the room, purposefully making eye contact with all three of her family members.

“I never realized exactly what my signing the contract with Apollonaris meant to all of you and how it affected you. I have to admit I was only thinking of the fact that I could cycle again professionally. It was very selfish of me to not even discuss it with all of you and see how you felt about it.

I guess I just took for granted the love of my family and assumed you would be fine with whatever I wanted to do.

I will never make that mistake again!

Now, on to Drew and Gaby. I have always been proud of you whether you were Drew or Gaby. It didn’t hit me until we got here that I had never seen you race. And it shames me that I never did.”

Gaby started to say something, but Jenny held up her hand.

“Gaby, I need to get through this. Let me finish and then I will happily listen to what all of you have to say.”

Gaby slowly nodded her assent, and Jenny continued.

“I can recall thinking more than once, when you or your dad called me to tell me about one of your races that ‘I guess genes will tell’. Very selfish thought, but it is what it is.

Now you know Mr. Woods never told me exactly what the modeling entailed and you now know that Aunt Carol wasn’t honest about the shopping trip either. And all of us now know how Maddy was manipulating situations to make sure Gaby appeared.

So when you showed up in Paris as Gaby, and there was no way to make you look like Drew just then, I made the decision not to correct anyone. Again, for probably what are very selfish reasons…..part of me knew I should have corrected people or not made you get up on stage with me; but there was part of me that was chuffed to have people see that my ‘daughter’ was following in my footsteps.. There was also part of me that was afraid what the reaction would be if I made the correction to the press and they ran with it.

It would have hurt you terribly and if I’m being 100 percent honest I was afraid what it might do to my career.

I’m not proud of that Gaby. Far from it.

But I guess the other side of it was that you showed up so often as Gaby, and your father and I discussed this many times, that it seemed you were exploring another side of who you are. And you seemed happier and more at peace somehow. And both your father and I didn’t want to make you ashamed of whom you were, although I can see now that we did anyways, just in a different way. We made you ashamed of being Drew.

And that was very wrong of us. And you have every right to feel angry and disappointed with us.

We should have sat down with you and asked you about Gaby and not simply blithely assumed we knew what was going on.”

At this Dave nodded his head in agreement.

“Unfortunately, my little love, there is no handbook for being a parent. Like your dad said, we did our best, given what we knew at the time.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Your old dad – he did the best he could. Me, I messed up by the numbers.”

Tears were now slowly dripping down Jen’s face.

“I didn’t trust myself and my relationship with all of you enough. I wasn’t there for you – any of you – when you needed me most. And then I hurt you all again when I got sick, by not trusting you enough to tell you the truth and trust in the love of my family to get through all of it.

I understand why you are really ticked off with all of us, and I guess if I were in your shoes I would feel the same way. I’d be right pissed if every time I saw my mum I had to be someone I’m not, just to make life ‘easier’ and never get to be me with the people I love the most.

All I can say is I’m sorry. And I promise I will try to not let things like that happen again. I can’t change yesterday Gaby, but I can sure try to be better tomorrow, and every tomorrow after that.”

Gaby got up from where she was sitting and threw herself into her mother’s arms, hugging her as tightly as she could.

“I know mum, I know. It just hurt so much.” She whispered through her own tears.

Jenny wrapped her arms around her daughter and Dave and Jules came over and joined in the family hug.

In an odd way all of their troubles, both at home and here in Grottoes had brought their family closer together and had given them all an increased understanding of each other’s needs. Granted parents would always remain somewhat of a mystery to kids until they became parents themselves, but that’s a whole different issue and a different story.

As they broke their hug, and everyone got up Jenny looked at her watch.

“Right then girls, its bedtime. You two get ready for bed. Your dad and I are going to find a cuppa. Gaby, you have a bunch of tests tomorrow, and we all have a session or two with the doctors. So, get a wiggle on.”

Two “Yes Mum” s were heard as the girls headed for the bathroom.

Hooking her arm in her husband’s, Jenny gently dragged Dave to the door.

“Let’s go get that cuppa hon” could be heard as they left the room.

So, here it is. The next chapter in my ongoing saga about Gaby.

Better late than never.

I hope you enjoy.

Kate

Chapter 16

Jenny and Dave were sitting in a quiet booth in the back of the restaurant. They had been quietly discussing Gaby’s revelations of that evening as well as their part in what had happened. While they had had the best of intentions, they now realized that they had exacerbated the problem – not maliciously or on purpose, but by a lack of knowledge and from not including Gaby and Jules in the discussions.

“So luv, what do you think? I had no idea she felt the way she did and how much of what I did affected her, and all of you so badly. I have to say I feel like a complete and utter shit right now.

I know, I know – she didn’t say anything to us, and we didn’t ask. But I have to say that right now I feel I’ve failed her as a parent. I feel like I should have seen something, although I wasn’t bloody well around enough was I?”

“Now Jen, if it’s the blame game we’re playing I have more than my fair share to take too. I WAS there and didn’t notice. Well, let’s be brutally honest – what we did notice we thought was our child doing some self-exploration and we didn’t want to stifle that by being “those parents”. And neither of us had an effing clue what Maddy and Em and Brit were up to.

I guess what I feel worst about is when we made her be Gaby because it was a convenience to us.

But, all that being said, Gaby with that wonderful big heart of hers has forgiven us. And I guess the biggest thing is where we go from here.

And here are my thoughts for what they’re worth. And let me get them all out on the table and then we can talk about them, okay?”

Dave looked at his wife, and she nodded her assent.

“Okay, so I’m going to kind of group them into Immediate, Medium Term and Long Term.”

Dave paused for a moment and took a sip of tea while he gathered his thoughts.

“So, in the immediate column we have

- Maddy and Carol. I have never seen Gaby, or Drew for that matter, ever lose her temper like that
- Her race this weekend in Atlanta. I think it’s all she’s been holding on with here in Grottoes.

- Her surgery. As the doctors said, we have some time but not more than a month. And with that comes the whole issue of her privacy in this, this would hit the rags in a minute at home and none of us want that for her.

And in the Medium column we have

- School, and the discussions that will have to happen with the Head, as well as the reactions of the rest of the kids when and if Gaby returns to school there

- Her racing. What that may mean to the British Developmental Squad and just racing in general. Granted we have the DNA test results and can just tell them she wanted to compete against the boys but now realizes that long term that won’t be possible. And I think we can enlist Caro’s help there.

And long term we have to decide if we want to stay in Warsop or if we move and make a clean start elsewhere. And this is where we need to talk to Jules as well. It would mean totally uprooting her life too. Like I said earlier hon, I can always find a job elsewhere, but I’ll never find you three anywhere else.”

Jen reached across and gently squeezed her husband’s hand.

“And I know just how lucky I am to have the three of you Dave. And we’ll do what’s best for the four of us, and sod anyone else.

You seem to have summed up the situation quite nicely. Those do appear to be the major issues right now. I know other things will pop up here and there, but you have put it all into perspective.”

Jen was just about to say something else when her mobile phone rang.

“Hello, Jenny Bond here”

“Of course, Dr. Macarthur. We’re in the restaurant at the hotel having a cup of tea. Why don’t you and Dr. Page join us?

Right then, see you in a few minutes”

She looked at Dave.

“If you hadn’t guessed that was Dr. Macarthur, and she and Dr. Page will be coming to join us in a few minutes. She said they had a number of things they wanted to discuss with us.”

“Well dear, why don’t you shift over to this side of the table, we’ll get another pot of tea and maybe a piece of cake, and we can tell the waitress that we’ll be having 2 more people joining us shortly.”

~o~O~o~

“So Jenny, Dave that’s what we’ve found out so far. The situation seems to have been orchestrated by Maddy and Brit overall. Yes, Em had a part in it, but it would appear that Maddy was using Em’s naiveté against her to wind up Gaby even more. In many ways Em has become a victim of Maddy as much as ‘Drew’ did. Not to the same extent of course, but a victim nonetheless. Karen is scheduling a session with her tomorrow and will help her in arranging to see the proper doctors once she gets home”

“Well Maggie, it would appear that we have a lot more to talk about. I know I had talked to you about a joint session with Carol and Maddy in the morning, but I think we may need to meet with you and Karen by ourselves first. Wouldn’t you agree Dave?”

Looking over to her husband, Jenny could see Dave’s face suffused with anger.

Dave’s jaws worked a few times, and when he answered his voice was tight with rage.

“You are telling me that all of this was orchestrated by Maddy and Brit?! And that they, and Em were putting Gaby in danger for shits and giggles?!”

“Not to put too fine a point on it Dave, but that would appear to be the case. And more importantly right now is that we – and by that I mean, you , Jen and Juliette as well as Karen and myself have a chance to talk this out with Gaby before there are any ‘confrontations’. And I am quite sure that Gaby is going to want to say a few things to both of them, but we believe this needs to be done in a manner which is going to minimize the psychological trauma to her.”

“Obviously, given what you have told us about Gaby and Maddy’s encounter earlier this evening, Gaby has started figuring out that Maddy has been manipulating her for some time. And she has figured out that Carol has some sort of reason for wanting to see Gaby as well. Beyond the manipulations of her daughter that is. And I suspect that getting some answers as to why will also become increasingly important to Gaby as time goes on.”

“Truly Dave, Jen. Maggie and I understand your anger. It is real and justifiable. But the important thing to remember here is Gaby’s health. And her ongoing wellbeing. And to be frank, all we are going to be able to deal with in the immediate term is what has happened here in Grottoes. What has gone before, will need to be dealt with on an ongoing basis so that she doesn’t become fixated on that anger and let it rule her life.”

“And, as we have said, it would appear that Em may well be a victim here as well. That Maddy and Britney were using her as a catspaw. Well, Maddy mostly.”

“As you said Jen, I too believe that we should start out our morning having a discussion with the four of you, then have Gaby do her physical testing. That should give her a bit of time to burn off some stress and some anger. Those tests should take about one to two hours. I believe all will go fine with the tests, but we want to be as sure as we can before giving her the okay.

And I suspect that the race in Atlanta is going to take on much greater importance to Gaby after our discussions. I can see where she will be wanting to get on her bike and use it to put some distance between her and the events here in Grottoes. Both mental and physical distance. She has said that on the bike is where she feels the most comfortable and the most free – where she can just be, where there is no Drew and no Gaby, just a rider on a bike. And, obviously it is the one thing that has been allowing her to hold it together while she has been here. I can see where the revelations about her friends will simply intensify that need. This is going to come as a huge betrayal to her, and she will need something familiar to hold on to in the short term. Cycling is the likely candidate for that. It will be something she can focus on, direct her energy to, and give her some time – by herself – to begin to process all of this.

During Gaby’s testing Maggie and I can meet with Maddy and Carol. After lunch, we can bring you all together if all parties agree and if you think it will be helpful.”

“Helpful” Jen snorted. “Yes it would be bloody helpful to know why both Carol and Maddy decided that Drew should be around as little as possible.”

Maggie interrupted with a question.

“Ummm…Carol? How does she fit in besides being Maddy’s mother, and Maddy manipulating her? It sounds as if you know something here that we don’t.”

“Oh, sorry Maggie. We hadn’t gotten around to that part of this evening’s discussion with Gaby yet.”

Quickly, Jen told them about the shopping trip and a couple of other instances where Carol had gotten Drew to be Gaby without the influence of Maddy.

“Oh my” came from Karen. “That could present another interesting dynamic to this whole thing as well. I’m not sure exactly how that fits into everything else at this point. But I take it, from the sound of your voice, you would like some answers to that Jen.”

“Too bloody right I would.”

~o~O~o~

Meanwhile, back at the Peters’ hotel room, an entirely different conversation was going on.

“Okay Maddy, I waited until we were back here in the room, but now I want to know exactly what is going on and what exactly you may have had to do with Drew ending up in the hospital. I have to face your Uncle Dave and Aunt Jenny in the morning and I want some answers young lady!”

“What makes you think I had anything to with that Mum?” Maddy squeaked out. “I haven’t been there and staying with them, how would I know?”

“Madeleine Elizabeth Peters!” thundered her mother, “Enough! I heard everything Drew said to you, and to me! You will tell me, and tell me now how it came to be that Drew was on the girl’s cheerleading team and how only Gaby came here to America! And how Gaby had to always miraculously appear as often as she did!”

“And then, missy, we are going to get on the phone with your father and you can explain it all to him too.”

Maddy shrank under her mother’s steely eyed gaze.

I’m done for now. She’ll know if I lie to her. And even if I tell her I’m in love with Gaby, that’s not gonna matter. Oh God, and if I have to explain it to dad, after he worked to arrange this exchange I’ll be lucky if I ever see the outside of the house again. Shite! What do I tell her? What am I gonna do?!!!

~o~O~o~

Fran and Jessica had just returned from picking up a few things of Fran’s and were sitting down to finish the glasses of wine they had left earlier in the evening.

“You know Jess, before we call it a night I should give Carol Peters a ring and tell her that we are going to need to speak to her and Maddy tomorrow. And that given what we have learned that there may be disciplinary action coming out of all of this.”

“You’re right Fran. If I was Mrs. Peters I wouldn’t want to get ambushed by something like that. I suspect it is going to come as something as a shock to her though.”

“Well, I may as well get it over with, so we can sit and relax and enjoy our glass of wine. Although part of me thinks it should be Hemlock.”

With that Fran rose and grabbed her mobile phone. After dialing the number, she stood waiting for the call to connect.

*ring-ring*

*ring-ring*

*ring-ring*

“Hi Carol, it’s Fran. Fran Cowlishaw. Have you got a minute?”

She turned and gave Jessica a quick nod.

“Excellent. Thank you.”

“The reason I’m calling is that Miss Bell, the AHS advisor and I need to speak to Maddy tomorrow. About a disciplinary issue, I’m afraid; and since you’re here we would like you in attendance as well.”

……….

“Oh really?”

……….

“Yes, of course.”

……….

“Oh, my!”

…………

Fran was holding the phone to her ear and listening intently. Carol continued to speak, and Jessica heard Fran give the occasional “mm-hmmm” and “oh really” here and there, but mostly she was just listening to what Carol had to say.

It was about 20 minutes later when she heard Fran say “thank you, we’ll see you tomorrow” and hang up.

Fran sat down again, took a large sip of her wine and sighed.

“Well, apparently Maddy is expecting the death sentence tomorrow.”

Jessica looked at her quizzically.

“Apparently, Drew and Maddy had a confrontation outside a restaurant earlier this evening. Where Drew made reference to the ‘ENTIRE’ Gaby situation.”

“Oh my!”

“After Carol and Maddy ate and went back to their room, the ‘parental look of death’ came out and Carol demanded an explanation of everything Drew had been talking about. Everything.”

“Ohhhhhh….. and by the length of your conversation, Carol learned some things that she really didn’t want to hear I take it?”

“That’s a very polite way of putting it. And mildly stated, she is completely appalled at her daughter’s behaviour. And she agrees we need to speak tomorrow. I’m just to call her on her mobile tomorrow because the doctors want to speak to Maddy and Carol tomorrow as well. We’ll set up a time after she talks to them.”

“And then, I’m afraid, it will be time to involve the Headmaster.”

~o~O~o~

Morning seemed to roll around far too early for a lot of folks in Grottoes the next morning. There had apparently been quite a few sleepless nights.

For Gaby and her family however, after all the discussions of the prior evening, everyone had had what seemed to be “the best night’s sleep in an age”.

Gaby herself was actually quite anxious to get to the hospital so she could do her tests and find out if she was going to be able to race on the weekend. It was what she had been holding herself together for after all. And she really didn’t want to have to miss it. The rest of her family were also wanting to get an early start at the hospital as well, but for entirely different reasons.

It seemed as Dave, Jen and Jules all had an air of determination surrounding them. Like they were girding themselves for battle. Which in some ways they were. The battle for Gaby’s mental health and the battle for answers.

But there also seemed to be an unspoken agreement amongst all of them this morning too. That they would be just an average English family going out for breakfast and that nothing serious would be discussed until they got to the hospital.