The Price To Pay

This series was originally written, Vol. 3, Vol. 1, Vol. 4, Vol. 2, Vol. 5; It might be more fun to read it in that order :-)

We moved to press our bodies closer. I felt Meryl's hand slowly move up my thigh. I slipped my hand under her blouse and caressed her back. Her hand gently touched my groin. The Price to Pay (Prequel) - Vol. 1.1 - Symptoms? by Alys

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Part 1
 

The ball from my free-kick thumped in the back of the net. There was a huge cheer from our section of the crowd. I raised my hands in triumph. Within seconds the whistle went for the end of the game. There was instant hysteria as our small crowd of supporters, cheered widely at our last gasp victory. I felt utterly exhausted and was only prevented from collapsing on the pitch by Sion and Lyr grabbing me by the arms and supporting me standing. What a great result. For the first time in its history Cwm Wysg school had won the South Wales schools football championship and I had scored the winnning goal!

"Great goal!" said Mr Jones the team coach patting me on the shoulder.

"Well done everyone, that was a fantastic result!", he continued looked around the battered and bruised team.

I sat down on the proffered chair. I wasn't sure why I had lost a bit of stamina recently. I seemed to have lost a bit of weight too. I hadn't remembered feeling this exhausted at the end of a game before. Sion handed me an energy drink and soon I was feeling well enough to stand.

Suddenly a whirlwind of long blond hair engulfed me in a hug

"Oh Celyn, that was so awesome the way you scored the goal, and that oaf who kept fouling you should have been sent off", stated Meryl with indignation as she continued to hold me around the waist.

Sion and few others expressed their assent

"Come on everyone, it's time for the presentation", called out Mr Jones

The team assembled itself into a roughly orderly line and we walked up to the table where the secretary of the schools' FA, Mr Wilkins, was holding the trophy to present to me, the team captain.

"Well played lad", he said handing it over, "you must me one of the youngest players ever to play in this competition. How are old are you, son?" he asked

"14, sir", I replied.

"You are very talented, well done", he shook my hand and then I turned to hold up the trophy to our supporters. There was roar of approval and flashes of cameras as the moment was captured by the two local newspapers and by some of our supporters.

After receiving our winners' medals we did the traditional lap of honour around the stadium and then it was time for a well earned shower and some food.

Sion, Meryl and myself slowly cycled back to the valley. We reached the road leading to my house and for once I was too lacking in energy to do one of my usual little tricks to be first through the gate.

"What's up Celyn?", asked Sion, looking surprised at the unusual tame ending to our ride home.

"Not sure, I have felt quite tired these last few weeks", I replied

"Yes I had noticed that you weren't as sharp as usual on the pitch, Celyn", noted Meryl.

"I think I just need a good rest after all the build up and the game itself", I said as I put my bike away. I took Meryl's and put it next to mine.

"Are you staying for some food?", I asked Sion.

"Thanks for the offer", he replied, "my Mother will be expecting me and waiting to hear how we got on. She wasn't in when I phoned earlier. And anyway you two would probably appreciate some time together", he continued, smiling knowingly and winking at me.

We all laughed and Sion rode off back to the main road.

"He is right, you know", said Meryl, "I haven't seen much of you these last few weeks, will all your football and my netball. Roll on the end of the season!"

An hour later, after we had had some refreshments. We sat, cuddled together, on the sofa, listening to the gentle voice of Meinir Gwilym singing her mixture or individual and romantic songs.

"I'm so lucky I've got you", I said, caressing her hair.

"I feel the same", she replied slowly moving her hand over my chest.

"Did I tell you that there was an agent from Man United* there?"

"Wow, no you didn't. Did he talk to you?"

"Yes he told me that if I continued to play as well as I was that there was a very good chance they would sign me for their youth team"

"Oh my god, that is amazing. You deserve a well done kiss for that"

Meryl pulled me towards her and kissed me. I returned her kiss and we began to lose ourselves in our slow burning passion. Everything felt so right at that moment. My life seemed so perfect.

We moved to press our bodies closer. I felt Meryl's hand slowly move up my thigh. I slipped my hand under her blouse and caressed her back. Her hand gently touched my groin.

The pain was indescribable. I threw myself on the floor, clutching my penis and testicles. I screamed as the extremely sharp shooting pains seemed to spread throughout my body.

"What's wrong Celyn?", yelled Meryl, "I'm sorry...what did I do, can't you stop screaming?"

"Doctor......phone.......hallway", I managed to say between my howls of pain.

*Manchester United, one of the most successful UK football teams

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To Be Continued...
 
End of Part One

He first asked me where the pain was and then touched around my groin to locate the worst area. My scream of agony made that clear to him The Price to Pay- Vol. 1.2 - Relief? by Alys

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Part 2
 

I was floating on a soft white cloud, it was a beautiful feeling. There seemed to be peace and harmony around me. The world was one of clouds and a pastel sky.

Something discordant began to impinge on my consciousness. A continuous faint blueness coming and going in intensity. There also seemed to be a sound, a very faint wailing that also seemed to increase and decrease in a regular pattern. I tried to push these unwanted intrusions out of my perfect world. To my disappointment, instead of being banished from my private nirvana they encroached even more.

I became aware of another sensation, a touching feeling, another's skin in contact with mine, but this person was invisible to my perfect world. It was a conundrum. Suddenly my idyll was penetrated by different sounds, ones that carried a message, I found them hard to decipher, then some of them began to acquire a meaning.

"Celyn....not long now...be ok..."

I opened my eyes. My senses were assaulted by loud sounds, dazzling lights and the shape of an attractive face very nearby. I felt overloaded by sensations and closed them again trying to regain my place of refuge. To no avail. I opened my eyes again. The words began to make more sense.

"Don't worry Celyn we'll be in the hospital soon", came the voice of my attractive companion.

Understanding and awareness flooded into my mind just as pain began to slowly appear as a factor in my life. I was in an ambulance. This ambulance was travelling very quickly. The sound of the siren within the ambulance was almost ear shattering, the flashing blue light was quite dazzling. The face looking down anxiously at me was Meryl my girlfriend of two months. She was sat in a chair next to my stretcher holding my hand while holding on to the side of her chair to steady herself against the continuous rolling of the ambulance travelling over the bumpy roads.

"Thanks Meryl," I mumbled.

She squeezed my hand and smiled at me.

"Is OK...sorry you hurt so much"

My watch beeped. I held my wrist towards me to look at it. It was only five in the afternoon. Three hours ago I was celebrating winning a football match and now I was being rushed to the local general hospital, Ysbyty Frenhinol Gwent. But at least the pain had mostly gone thanks to Meryl dialling 999* and the paramedics arriving in a very short time.

A sharp pain shot through my body, I groaned.

"The painkillers are wearing off can't you give him some more?," asked Meryl urgently, looking at the other person with us in the back of the ambulance, a young paramedic in the usual green uniform.

"If he can hang on it would be better so that he can describe the symptoms to the doctor in A and E**, it's only a few minutes to the hospital," he replied.

The pain came back, I writhed and groaned. Meryl held my hand and stroked my forehead.

"Not long now"

The ambulance suddenly slowed and came to a rapid stop. I felt the gust of air as the back of the ambulance was opened and then my stretcher was put on a trolley and wheeled quickly through the automatic hospital doors to a cubicle. A young, tired looking male doctor rushed in. He first asked me where the pain was and then touched around my groin to locate the worst area. My scream of agony made that clear to him.

"Do you need to do that?," I asked angrily

"Sorry for the pain but I am trying to confirm my initial suspicions. You may have something called testicular torsion"

"What's that," asked Meryl

"When the blood supply to one of the testicles is cut off. It is easily treatable and since we have caught it early there's a good chance of a full recovery and no damage to the testicle, first we will need an ultra sound to confirm. In the meantime I'll give your boyfriend a morphine shot to take the pain away"

The soft white clouds and peace returned. The world around became a daze of activity as I was moved from place to place. I was dimly aware of cold gel being wiped over my scrotum and some sort of probe being moved over it. Meryl became a bit embarrassed seeing my private parts. She blushed and turned away but continued to hold my hand. I was then in a ward and I noticed that my parents and goth-girl, my sister, had arrived. The doctor came and waved some papers at my father's face and then after a quick glance he signed them.

"I want you to breathe this in and count back from ten" said the woman in the blue scrub suit she placed the black face mask over my nose and mouth a few minutes later as the surgeon and nurses prepared themselves to operate.

The faint 'thump..thump...' of someone's MP3 player near to me drifted into my blankness. I opened my eyes to be momentarily blinded by late afternoon sunlight that was shining through the large hospital window next to my bed. My eye's adjusted and I made out the familiar black outfit of Goth-Girl, Taran my sister, sitting in a chair next to me.

"Hey Sis," I said quietly.

She stayed lost in her music retreat. I sat up a little to try and attract her attention.

"Hey Taran!," I said louder.

She jumped up in her chair in surprise, and looked at me, smiling. She took the earphones out.

"Hi Celyn, you surprised me. How are you feeling?"

I took stock of myself and realised to my relief that there was no sign of the excruciating pain from earlier, although there more some soreness around my scrotum.

"A lot better thanks," I replied.

"You had me and Mum and Dad mightily scared there you loony. I thought that something really serious had happened when Meryl phoned me to tell me that she had had to call an ambulance for you."

"Did you call Mum and Dad?" I asked.

"Yes"

"Where is Meryl by the way? She has been fantastic"

"Mum and Dad took her home. She is really nice you know, I know I've not said that before but I really like her" replied Taran.

"Thanks"

There was silence between us for a little while and eventually I dropped back to sleep. The next time I opened my eyes my Mother was looking down at me.

"Hi Celyn, how are feeling now?"

"Good thanks Mum. Where's Dad and Goth-Girl?"

My Mother laughed

"You shouldn't call your sister that, you know, it's rude."

"You and Dad do all the time," I protested.

"OK, point taken. Taran has gone to the hospital cafe for a break, she sat here for a long time while you were asleep. Your Dad is talking to the doctor who did your surgery"

I looked up to see my Father at the ward station talking to the doctor. I noticed the doctor shrugging and shaking his head. He then shook hands with my Father who then turned and walked over to my bed.

"Hi Dad, did the doctor say that I go could home?"

My Father paused, exchanged a glance with my Mother, and then replied.

"I'm sorry son, he said that they'd like to keep you in hospital overnight for further tests, they found some small lumps on your testicle."

*emergency number in the UK, same as 911 in the US
** A and E - Accident and Emergency - same as ER in the US

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To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Two

She leaned forward and gave me a soft, lingering kiss and then after whispering softly in my ear, "I love you Celyn," she was up and walking away and with a little embarrassed wave she had left............. The Price to Pay - Vol. 1.3 - Prospects by Alys

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Part 3
 

Hospital wards are not the best places to sleep in the evening. First there is the light, the nurses station has lights on all night so there is only a dimming rather than a complete darkness. Then there is the temperature, most hospitals are at a constant temperature day and night so it is invariably too warm. Finally you are often unfortunate with the people who are sharing your ward. I was quite lucky in some ways there were no urgent admissions during the night and no-one died, but the noise of the five other patients shuffling in their beds, breathing heavily , occasionally snoring, in their sleep was impossible to ignore.

By about 4am, after a few hours fitful sleep, I had given up on getting back in the arms of Morpheus and so I was listening to some Artic Monkeys on my Ipod.

"I bet you'd look on the dance floor......"

..made me think nice thoughts of Meryl. I had got to know her through the town cycling club. We were neither of us super bike nuts but we liked to go to the club as a break from our usual training routine. We liked similar music, films and books. We hadn't been out on many dates as such, but had reached a stage where we were acknowledged as a 'couple' by our mutual friends. I wasn't sure if she would have much time to come to the hospital since it was a school day. I hoped she would be able to call in at some point.

"You're awake early, love," came the voice of Bridgit, one of the night staff, over the low volume of my Ipod.

"Yes, couldn't sleep, it's a bit hot here" I replied, taking one of the earphones out my ear to engage with the friendly, but tired looking nurse.

Bridgit sat on my bed.

"I guess you'll be going home today and can sleep in your own bed tonight"

"Yes, I hope so, I feel fine now"

"Once you get the all clear from your results, they'll let you go. I think the first doctors' round is mid-morning. Is it Cwm Wysg you go to?" she asked.

"Yes"

"My son goes there, he's in year 7. He told me that your football team won the school's cup for the first time. He watched the game. Did you go?"

I laughed.

"I scored the winning goal"

"That was you? Really? He told me all about it, he said it was amazing, like watching a Brazilian footballer. But you're much too young to be playing for the first team surely?"

I shrugged my shoulders

"It's just something that I seem to be good at, I guess I'm lucky"

She sat there for a little while longer and we chatted first of all about my family and then she told me her son, Eifion, who she was really proud of but who had quite a difficult life since her husband had left her for a younger woman and she had had to increase her hours at work. He was really keen on football but she was unable to let him go to training since she had to leave him with her mother when she was working and this clashed with the training times. I suggested that she let him train in school and since he would be traveling in a similar direction home to me, I could accompany him.

"Thanks, that's a very generous offer, he will be so excited about meeting you. Sorry I'd better go and finish my paperwork before the hand over. You try and get some more rest before breakfast comes around"

Bridgit squeezed my shoulder lightly and went back to the nurse station, where she was soon engrossed in filling in forms and ticking boxes.

The time dragged, with a little interruption at about 6 for the morning cuppa. Even though I didn't usually drink tea, it was something to do to break up the boredom a little. I lay back with my Ipod and rested, my lack of sleep caught up my me and I dozed.

"Wake up young man," said the middle aged woman in the purple hospital outfit as she gently shook me, "it's time for breakfast. Nothing else till elevenses so you had better get something or you'll be starving"

The prospect of hospital food wasn't that appealing but since I had no other invitations at that point I chose some cereal, milk and some toast. I was sitting there thinking about how I was missing the adulation and glory of the school assembly when I was shaken from my reverie by a welcome, friendly face and a warm greeting.

"Hey Celyn!"

I looked up to see Meryl bounding towards me in her usual energetic but graceful way. I only just managed to put my breakfast tray down before she was engulfing me in an urgent hug.

"Oh Celyn, I was so worried about you yesterday," Meryl said after we had dis-engaged and she was sitting on my bed, holding my hand.

"I'm so glad that you are OK now. When are you coming out? What about coming back to school? You're going to miss the announcement in school, that's a shame..but I suppose"

I put my finger on her lip, she took the hint and paused her usual motormouth impression.

"Hey sweetie," I said softly, "one thing at a time. I'll hopefully be out today and maybe back in school tomorrow or the day after. I'll still be the conquering hero, unless Ceri has won the lottery yet!"

We both laughed, our friend Ceri declared every week that this was 'the week' that his winning lottery system would finally take him away from his ordinary life to the one of his fantasies on a small island in the Aegean, living in his marble palace with all creature comforts possible.

"How come you are here anyway," I asked Meryl

"My Dad dropped me in, but he says I can only stay for a few minutes otherwise he will be late for work. Oh there he is now"

I looked up and noticed Meryl's father smiling at us but tapping his watch to indicate that it was time for them to leave.

"Oh I am sorry Celyn, I have to go now. I wish I could stay longer," continued Meryl.

She leaned forward and gave me a soft, lingering kiss and then after whispering softly in my ear, "I love you Celyn," she was up and walking away and with a little embarrassed wave she had left the ward in the company of her father.

I sat back against the pillows on my bed, feeling a bit surprised by the unexpected intensity of her reaction to me. I wasn't sure if my feelings for her were as intense yet. It would be something to explore over time. I was looking forward to being alone more often with Meryl now that our respective sports' seasons were winding down.

After that brief, pleasant break in the hospital monotony. I returned to my own music and leafing through some of the magazines that my parents had left the day before. The new nurses did their usual blood pressure and temperature checks but otherwise nothing of note happened for a couple of hours.

There was a commotion on the wards as visiting time arrived and there was a sudden flow of anxious, relieved, happy and sad relatives, and friends, arriving laden with various supplies to slightly lessen the burden of hospital living. My parents arrived in the company of a middle aged, slightly out of condition man clutching a briefcase.

"Hello sweetheart," came the cheery voice of my Mother, "are you feeling better today?"

"Yes, thanks Mum" I replied looking quizzically at her and glancing at this stranger.

"Son," said my Father, "this is Mr Jenkins, he's the Welsh scout for guess who?"

"Man U?," I replied uncertainly.

He nodded assent.

"Hello, Celyn. I'm sorry to hear that you had to go to hospital after playing so well in the cup final" said Mr Jenkins.

"Were you there?", I asked in great surprise.

"Yes, and it's not the first time I've seen you play, although you weren't at your best in the game. I suppose the visit to the hospital explains that. That was a terrific winning goal, though"

I thanked Mr Jenkins for his comment. He continued, explaining about his role as scout in Wales for the mighty Manchester United. How he would check out promising players and they would invite them to training sessions.

I listened intently as he described something approaching my greatest wish, to be able to play at Old Trafford.

"Celyn, Mr Jenkins has an offer for you," announced my Mother, interrupting me asking yet another question about all the famous players and coaches that the scout had met.

"Ah yes, sorry Mr and Mrs Morus I am taking up too much of your visiting time with your son. Well Celyn this is the situation, if you are interested I have an invitation for you to come for a two week training session at Easter, with the possibility of signing as an apprentice player soon after, if you continue to develop as you have so far. From what I have seen you already have all the skills and once you get a little bigger then you have a great chance of being a professional, if that is what you wish"

"Oh yes, I'd love to come. That sounds great, thanks, nothing will hold me back from this chance"

Mr Jenkins smiled, excused himself and left. I was like a bottle of lemonade for a while after and couldn't stop myself talking about the offer and all the possible implications. My Mother and Father were happy to play along with my enthusiasm and for a little while we were lost in a world of travel plans and 'what if' scenarios.

"Oh I think that's Doctor Johnson, he was the specialist who operated on you yesterday Celyn," said my Father, "I think I'll just pop over to see if there is any news about when the results are due, back in a minute"

My Mother and I carried on chatting, now about my sister, the bane of her life, while my Father walked over to Dr Johnson and his team as they were making their way slowly round the patients in the opposite ward. My Father caught the doctor's attention and there was a brief exchange, which seemed to indicate that there was no news so far. Then just as Dr Johnson was turning away, back to his team I saw him take a little black object out of his pocket, which I guessed to be a pager.

He called to my Father and then the two of them walked a little away from the rest of Dr Johnson's team and engaged in an intense conversation. Finally my Father walked away, back towards us, he looked shocked about something, the colour had almost drained from his face. He indicated for my Mother to come over, she excused herself and walked over to him. He whispered something in her ear. She turned to look at me and I could see tears begin to stream down her face.

My Father placed his arm over her shoulders and slowly they walked back towards me. I had a sense of foreboding as they sat down next to me again. I waited for one of them to explain. My Father held my weeping Mother to his chest. Finally he looked up at me and I could see tears in his eyes too.

"Celyn, the doctor just had the results of the tests," he spoke softly.

"How can life be this cruel!", said my Mother, angrily between her sobs.

"What is it Dad" I asked, my level of anxiety going through the roof

"We must be strong for him, dear," said my Father to my Mother. He turned towards me again.

"It's bad news, son"

"How bad?"

"Very bad"

"Is it cancer, Dad?"

"Yes"

"Am I going to die?"

There was a long pause, eventually my Father looked me directly in the eye and said:-

"Yes"

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To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Three

"These holes in my head," she said referring to her bandage, " really slow me down these days. Maybe I need some replacement brain cells, you got any spare ones?" she chuckled. The Price to Pay - Vol. 1.4 - Tears by Alys

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Part 4
 

I stepped down from the ambulance and, without thinking sat down in the wheelchair, that had been placed in front of me by John the older of the two paramedics that had accompanied me. As he pushed me up the short gravel drive to the 1930's built country mansion that now had a different purpose, I reflected on the irony of only three days before having appeared to be a fit, athletic football player. All the previous symptoms that I had assumed were a combination of end of season tiredness, teenage growth pains and not eating enough, now took on a more sinister character.

A smartly dressed, middle aged woman, approached us.

"Welcome to Ty Llonydd*," she said in a welcoming, warm voice, "I'm Mrs Harris, the manager, and you must be Celyn and Mr and Mrs Morus. We've been expecting you. Please follow me and I'll show you to Celyn's room"

We said goodbye to John and carried on with my father pushing the wheelchair. We entered the main foyer of the hospice and I marvelled at the high ceilings, large windows and general atmosphere of opulence. We followed the manager along a side corridor, past a large room full of children of various ages engaging in a range of activities in a calm atmosphere, until we reached a room at the end of the corridor.

"It's beautiful," said my Mother taking in the spacious tastefully furnished environment, a particular feature being the large bay windows on the two outer walls.

"I hope you will like it," said Mrs Harris," it's one of my favourites, it gets a lot of light since the windows face south and east. I think that this used to be one the 'day rooms' of the previous owners."

Well at least I was going to benefit from the wealth of the some rich family that probably made their fortune from exploiting my ancestors in the coal mines, I thought to myself.

"Celyn can we leave you here for a little while to settle in while I sort out a few things with your parents. If you'd like to come with me Mr and Mrs Morus we can go to my office." said Mrs Harris indicating for my parents to go with her.

As I lay back on the bed, basking in the warm mid-morning sun, I reflected on how my life had turned from triumph to tragedy in less than a day. The doctor had spoken to me and my parents, following the terrible news. He had explained how unfortunately I had an extremely rare and aggressive form of cancer. He used the word metastasis a few times and eventually I had to ask for an explanation. So now I knew that there were little lumps of cancer all over my body, slowly destroying it. When someone tells you about cancer you know that it is often a death sentence but you have no idea of time scales. When my father had asked him directly how long I had left. The doctor had paused, and then had told us that the rate that this cancer usually spread meant that I would be lucky to live beyond a month. Even the most aggressive treatment, that would make me constantly sick, would only give me a few more weeks.

My parents came back and sat in the two armchairs.

"What do you think dear?" asked my Mother.

"It's lovely, really peaceful, I like it Mum." I replied.

"I think you've made the right decision, son," said my Father, "you can be comfortable and enjoy your stay here, instead of being sick all the time in the hospital".

I didn't pick him up on how my last few days would be, I couldn't see dying as being a pleasant experience.

"Shall we go and have a look in the common room, Celyn?" asked my Mother, obviously thinking the same and wanting to change the subject.

"OK," I replied getting up and walking to the door. My father moved towards the wheelchair to fetch it for me but I waved him away with a little irritation.

We sat down in the common room and I took in the scene. There were about ten children and four adults assisting them. There was a positive vibe and everyone seemed to be cheerful. Eventually I had to suggest to my parents that they should leave to give me a chance to talk to some of the other children there. They promised to return with Goth-girl and maybe some of my friends later.

I approached a pretty girl of about ten, with a bandage around her head, who was doing a complicated looking jigsaw.

"Hi, I'm Celyn, do you want a hand?", I asked.

"Sure, take a pew," she replied pointing at the seat next to her, "I'm Heulwen"

"This looks hard," I said.

"Only a thousand pieces, it's Porthcawl, see.... on the box"

I compared the original photograph and the half completed puzzle. Soon we were working intently to finish the puzzle. At last Heulwen, with a whoop of joy, put the last piece in. She turned and we 'high fived' in triumph.

"That's great," she said smiling, "I've been working on it for over an hour and was stuck, thanks for helping"

"No prob"

"This hole in my head," she said referring to her bandage, " really slows me down these days. Maybe I need some replacement brain cells, you got any spare ones?" she chuckled.

"Maybe, I'll sell you some for  £50 a gram"

"That's robbery at that price, no boy ever had such a valuable brain," she laughed. It was an infectious sound that made me join in. "So what are you in for?"

I explained about my recent diagnosis and my poor prospects. She explained that she had a brain tumour which a series of operations had failed to remove.

"Only a month, that's rough, they reckon that I might live five weeks, so I guess I'll outlive you. Maybe I can have your whole brain!"

"You're a crazy girl", I stated teasingly.

"It's the holes in my head, let too much oxygen in...."

The sound of a bell, which Heulwen explained meant lunch time, meant a suspension of the general silliness that had really lifted my spirits. I went to sort out my food choices with one of the catering assistants while my jigsaw companion went off to collect her lunch.

The early afternoon was a period of rest and the administering of appropriate palliative treatments. I was glad of a rest and some mild analgesics as the pain in various parts of my body was just beginning to breach a threshold between bearable and discomfort.

"Hi Celyn", said a familiar voice, quietly, from the doorway.

I looked up and smiled as Meryl walked over to me.

"Hi Meryl, thanks for coming"

She sat next to me on the bed, holding my hand and told me about all our various friends. My parents had told Meryl and Sion about my condition so she knew what the situation was. It was still a strange experience sitting there while she conveyed news of the healthy and living. I could see the concern in her eyes but I didn't know how to respond to her now. Once or twice she began sentences which implied things that might happen in the next month, such as films coming out, and then stopped in an embarrassed way.

"I'm sorry Celyn, this must be so hard for you. I'd better go, you look tired. See you tomorrow my sweet"

"Bye Meryl, it was lovely to see you, say hello to everyone"

A quick kiss and she was gone.

The rest of the afternoon included a visit from my parents and my sister, which was as difficult as Meryl's had been. Both my sister and my Mother had obviously been crying before they had arrived. At least, after a little, I began to tease my sister about her Goth look and the atmosphere lightened.

"Hi Heulwen," I said after my family had left and I had gone back to the common room.

"Hi Celyn, enjoy your visits?" she asked.

"A bit of a strain" I replied

"Yes, mine were at first, they'll get better trust me. Anyway I've got another jigsaw, only two thousand pieces"

I groaned.

"It'll be easy, it's Porthcawl again!"

"What's so special about Porthcawl?"

"Dunno, it's just these are the only jigsaws with more than a hundred pieces"

We spent another cheerful hour of jigsaws and banter. Too soon it was time for our evening meal and then, soon, after for bed. I lay in my bed listened to my Ipod as the moonlight slowly made it's mysterious way across the wall.

The flashing blue light outside my window, the gentle shaking of my shoulder and the insistent voice dragged me back into consciousness from my dreamless sleep.

"Wake up Celyn, wake up," said my Mother

I looked at my clock it said 23.12.

"Wha's going on? What are you doing here Mum?", I said sleepily.

"Your doctor thinks he can save your life, but we have to go now or it will be too late!"

*Ty Llonydd = Serene House (or Building), quite a common style of naming Hospices in Wales

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To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Four

As the anaesthetist started the countback, I wondered what vaginoplasty was. The Price to Pay - Vol. 1.5 - Decisions by Alys

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Part 5
 

The ambulance sped its way to the hospital, all traces of drowsiness that I had felt earlier when I was woken up were dispelled as soon as the ambulance siren was activated.

"What's going on?" I asked my Mother who was sitting next to me in the ambulance while my father followed behind in the family car.

"We had a phone call an hour ago from the hospital. It seems that one of the doctors in Mr Johnson's team did some research and found a hospital in the USA doing a trial of a cocktail of drugs against your type of cancer, they contacted the hospital doing the trial and got some details of the drugs they needed and the preliminary results. They said nearly everyone had survived so far, after about two years of running the trial."

"But why all this?" I asked pointing at the ambulance, "couldn't I have started taking the drugs tomorrow?"

"The hospital doctor who spoke to us explained that unless they operated to remove as much of the cancerous tissue as soon as possible the drugs would not be effective enough"

I lay back on the stretcher and thought about all the topsy-turvy last couple of days, first I was fine and was going home and maybe going on a trial with a top football team, then I had a few weeks to live and now I was being offered the chance of life again. 'I wish fate would make up its mind,' I thought to myself.

The ambulance pulled quickly into the hospital accident and emergency centre and I was taken off on a trolley. I was soon being pushed rapidly by a hospital porter along the winding, seemingly endless corridors. After a few minutes journey, that seemed a lot longer, I was pushed into an operating theatre and put onto a table. I was surrounded by a number of doctors and nurses already wearing their medical scrubs.

"Hello Celyn, I'm pleased that we can do this for you," said the man I recognised as Mr Johnson, the consultant, from our earlier conversation, "You are a pioneer for this procedure in the UK, I am quite excited to be in the forefront of cancer treatment"

" You are lucky that Mr John Carson, the leading expert in vaginoplasty on the NHS, happened to be in Wales for a few days and is able to assist us" he continued pointing at a fit looking middle aged man.

As the anaesthetist started the countback, I wondered what vaginoplasty was.

I had a terribly dry throat. I heard the sound of a heart monitor beeping a regular note. I opened my eyes. I noticed a drip attached to my arm. Down below I felt nothing but I saw that there were some tubes leaving the general area of my groin. I moved and felt all sorts of pains in strange places in my lower abdomen and groin. I moaned. A nurse appeared and injected something in my drip. I felt soothed, relaxed and pain free and dropped back to sleep.

I opened an eye, my Mother sat next to my bed, she was reading my magazine.

"Hello Mum," I croaked.

"Celyn! You're awake. You've been out for ten hours"

"Drink please," I muttered a little more distinctly.

She held a mug of water to my mouth, I took a few sips and my throat felt a little relieved.

"Did it go allright, Mum?" I asked.

"A great success darling, now you need to rest, no more talking"

I drifted back off to sleep, tired after the effort of conversation.

It was dark outside, I noticed from the windows, as I woke up a little later. I realised that it must be getting on for twenty four hours since I was brought in. My Father was dozing in the chair next to me.

"Hey Dad," I said

He started, and then sat up and looked at me, smiling.

"Hey Celyn, you're awake, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Tired Dad, but not too bad, there is some pain down there, but one thing that's puzzling me, things feel a bit odd down there,"

My Father gave me a strange look, almost one of guilt, then stood up.

"I'll just fetch your Mum, she's in the canteen having a coffee, won't be long"

As he left a young, pretty nurse came up and took my vitals to enter on the chart at the bottom of the bed.

"How are you feeling my dear?" she asked gently.

"Not too bad Jenny," I replied looking at her name tag, "but everything feels very strange down there"

"Don't worry honey we'll take the catheter and the packing out of you tomorrow and you will feel better then and be more mobile"

The nurse smiled at me and then moved on to her next patient.

Packing? catheter? 'out of me'? What was going on here, I wondered.

My parents returned and sat down next to the bed.

"How are you feeling now, sweetheart" my Mother asked.

"What have they done to me Mum, everything feels really strange down there" I said nodding my head towards my lower body.

She started to cry, tears running down her face destroying her carefully made up face

"I am so sorry Celyn, we had to make a decision quickly we couldn't risk upsetting you before the surgery there was no time for a delay" said my Father

"I hope you can forgive us"

"What have they done!?"

"They've turned you into a girl" he responded quietly, touching me on my arm and looking at me

Everything turned black as my mind shut down

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Five

"So what's wrong with being a girl?" she suddenly asked after we had been working at the puzzle for a good quarter of an hour The Price to Pay - Vol. 1.6 - Sunshine by Alys

---

Part 6
 

I lay in my bed, studiously ignoring my Mother who was sat in the chair next to me. I was listening to some music by Andy Palacio, and was lost in the Caribbean/South American rhythms.

In the four days since my unwelcome gender changing operation I'd refused to communicate with my family. They'd tried to talk to me on many occasions but I'd refused to answer any questions or respond to them in any way.

I felt completely violated by the whole experience. They'd said that they'd had to make a quick decision to save my life, but maybe given the choice I would have chosen to stay in the hospice and be remembered for what I'd been. Now I faced maybe two or three years extra, living with a mutilated body.

Out of the necessity of personal survival and comfort, I'd responded on a basic functional way to the nurses and doctors when they'd asked about any discomfort that I might have and other aspects of my medical care but otherwise I didn't feel like talking to anyone.

That morning they'd removed the drains, catheter and packing from the new hole in my body, that they called my 'vagina'. The first visit to the toilet to try out my new 'equipment', or as I considered it my 'lack of equipment', had meant further humiliation as I sprayed over my pyjamas, body and the area around the toilet seat.

To add to the humiliation of having to change my clothes and see my appallingly bruised and battered groin area I was then introduced to the joys of 'dilating', or sticking a lump of plastic in my new hole. I had been told that I would have to do this unpleasant chore on a very regular basis if I wanted to have a normal sex life!

I reached over to my bedside table for a new magazine to read. My Mother looked up at my movement.

"Please honey, talk to me, tell me what's wrong" my Mother pleaded.

For the umpteenth time I didn't respond. Tears began to slowly well in her eyes and soon there were streaks along her cheeks. I felt strangely satisfied by this.

A short while later it was time for the evening drug doses. I was taking a mixture of anti cancer drugs and some female hormones. The doctors had explained to me, as if I really cared what the justification was, that this treatment had an unfortunate side effect.

It feminised the body to a lesser or greater extent, depending on age. In my case, since I had hardly started male puberty, it would give me a completely female body shape within a relatively short time. The doctors and my parents had considered that it would be a lot harder to live successfully in the role dictated by my body without the change to my genitals.

The sudden influx of non medical people into my ward announced the arrival of visiting time. Since I didn't expect or want to see anyone, I lay back and closed my eyes. I tried to take myself back to some of the sports events I'd been involved in.

I thought about some of the memorable goals I'd scored in football, some of the races I'd won in athletics and cycling and some of my performances in cricket. All things that would now be denied me in my extended but pointless extra years. I was almost asleep when something landed on top of me with a thud. I opened my eyes to see a big jigsaw box.

"It's Cardiff Castle, and it's 2000 pieces, want to give me a hand," said a familiar voice.

I looked to my side to see Heulwen, the 10 year old jigsaw maniac from the hospice. She was in a wheelchair with a drip attached, pushed by a middle aged nursing assistant, she looked very ill. Despite her obvious frailty she had a big grin on her face.

"Hey Heulwen, how did you get here?" I asked

"Jane brought me," she replied, turning her head towards her companion, who smiled at her.

"Yes, you div, I can see that, but how did you manage to come here?" I asked again, grinning back.

"Well you left before I could finish all the jigsaws so I badgered Mrs Harris to let me come so you could help me do this one," she replied, "the eyesight is beginning to go, I'll probably be blind in a few days and I haven't finished all of them yet. When I explained how good you were at doing jigsaws she jumped at the idea. I think your parents liked the idea too"

"Oh, I'm sorry about your eyes. I'll be happy to help"

With Jane's assistance she set the jigsaw up on my bedside table. She'd already completed a quarter of it. As we began working through it I could see how much her eyesight had deteriorated.

"So what's wrong with being a girl?" she suddenly asked after we'd been working at the puzzle for a good quarter of an hour.

"What do you mean?" I responded.

"They told me that you had to become a girl to beat your cancer," she continued, "and that you were having a mega sulk about it"

"I'm not sulking! They violated me, they forced me to have this operation. Nobody asked me what I wanted", I responded, turning away from her, annoyed that she had brought me from our little escape back to reality.

"Yes you are sulking," she continued," don't you think I wouldn't happily become a boy if I could live longer. I don't want to die Celyn"

I didn't know how to respond to such a comment, but somehow I felt that all my anger had been dissipated by Heulwen's sad situation. She was obviously in pain and it must have taken a huge effort to come to see me. I felt humbled and felt tears begin to roll down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Heulwen. It's not fair, you should be the one to live not me," I said after wiping my eyes. I returned to helping her with the jigsaw.

A while later we had finished and high fived. Heulwen looked exhausted.

"Will you come to my funeral, Celyn?" she asked in a quiet tired, voice.

"Of course," I replied as more tears appeared.

"But you must promise me one thing"

"What?"

"You will come as a girl"

I paused, thinking about what to say. But how could I refuse her?

"Yes"

"You promise?" she asked looking directly at me

"Yes Heulwen, I promise"

The sun shone brightly on an unusually warm early April morning. I felt uncomfortable in my black medium length dress, black tights, black flat shoes and black hat, trimmed with white and pink lace. The unfamiliar bra and knickers itched. How did women ever wear bras I thought to myself as I adjusted the straps of my padded undergarment for about the hundredth time. It was almost three weeks since Heulwen had taken her last trip out of the hospice to visit me. By the time I'd left the hospital and been able to return the favour she had lost her eyesight completely.

I visited her every day for as long as I could, We spent the time holding hands and talking. She'd told me about her short life and the years trying to fight the brain tumour. A life focused around hospital visits, treatments that made her feel awful and disappointments at failed surgeries. She'd said goodbye to me a few days before her death when she knew that her mind was almost gone and that she wouldn't know me again. That night I'd cried and yelled at the cruel fate that had spared me but taken her, someone who had not had anywhere near the quality of life that I had.

The service in the Hospice chapel of rest had been well attended by family and friends as we celebrated her life of bravery and spirit with the music and pictures she had chosen. Finally it was time for the short journey to the graveyard.

The coffin bearers lowered her small coffin into the grave and people came up in turns to throw some soil and say words of farewell. When it was my turn I avoided the pile of fresh soil and instead opened the little package in my hand.

"Thank you sweet Heulwen, you've been as good as your name and brought the sunshine back into my life*" I said softly, as I threw the jigsaw pieces.

*Heulwen is literally 'sunshine' in Welsh

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Six

"Are you Miss Celyn Morus?" he asked. "Yes," I replied, even though the 'Miss' part had surprised me. The Price to Pay - Vol. 1.7 -Official by Alys

---

Part 7
 

The tears were flowing freely as the final scene in the cemetery faded into the credits and the haunting music. I wiped my eyes.

"Can I have that handkerchief after you've finished?" asked Meryl, sitting next to me on the sofa, with my arm around her shoulder, and sobbing too. I handed it to her. We had been watching Schindler's List. I had had plenty of time to work my way through my parents' DVD collection since leaving hospital.

"This is damp," said Meryl, "you must have been crying as much if not more than me"

"Yes, I've noticed that I've been more emotional since my treatment in hospital, but anyway it is such a sad film"

"Must be a side effect of all the anti cancer drugs you're taking, I guess" commented Meryl, "You know even though the film is very sad there is at least a bit of hope that some people can be saved"

"Yes but not always the most deserving," I replied and thoughts of Heulwen renewed the flow of tears and I had to retrieve my handkerchief.

I had given Meryl and other friends a very limited description of my surgery and treatment. As far as they knew I had had some surgery in the groin area and was now having chemotherapy.

"It's so nice to spend some time without your family being around," she added after we had cuddled silently for a few minutes.

"Yes it is, lucky that my parents insisted on taking Taran around the uni in Caerdydd. They were probably worried that she would go there in full goth and frighten the lecturers off"

Meryl laughed.

"I wouldn't be seen dead as a goth," she said, "my Mum would kill me anyway if I ever wore stuff like that"

She started stroking my leg with her hand, it slowly inched its way up my thigh. I reached down, took her hand and placed it on my tummy.

"Sorry Meryl, I'm sore down there"

She turned her head towards me and kissed me lightly on the lips. I leaned my head down towards her and returned the kiss. She responded with more passion and moved her hands up to my chest. I winced a little when she touched my sensitive breast buds. Before she could be aware of what she had touched I put my other arm around her, so that we were face to face and her arms were around my neck. We continued our kissing for a while. Suddenly I broke off the embrace and sat back on the sofa.

"What's wrong Celyn?" asked Meryl in a very concerned way.

"I think I just feel tired. These drugs seem to make it difficult to respond to you"

"Oh, OK, well maybe I should be going anyway, I think you need some rest"

With that she hugged me, I saw her out to the door, We embraced on the stop and then she was off on her bike back home. She stopped and turned to wave before she rode out through the gate.

I went back inside and put on my new Foo Fighters CD and sat back down on the sofa.

It was so strange that the feelings that I had had for Meryl before all the hospital treatment didn't seem to be there any more. Maybe it was the hormones, maybe it was not being able to share what had really happened to me with her. I had insisted that none of my friends was to know because I was certain that once one person knew then the whole school would know within days, such was the efficiency of the school 'gossip machine'.

I heard a car pull into the drive, there was a knock on the door. I got up, walked over and opened it to a well dressed middle aged man.

"Yes?" I said.

"Are you Miss Celyn Morus?" he asked.

"Yes," I replied, even though the 'Miss' part had surprised me.

"I have your new passport," the man continued, smiling and handing over a package to me.

"Thank you," I said accepting it from him.

"You're welcome," said the man and then walked back to his car. I closed the door and heard the sound of his car leaving.

I opened the package and took out the brand new UK passport. 'Miss Celyn Morus', 'sex Female" were the two bits of information that caught my eye immediately. Inside the package was the new birth certificate that the hospital had given me before I left. They had managed to obtain it quickly because of my unique situation.

I was still feeling a bit shocked after getting the passport when my parents and sister returned. I showed them the passport.

"Well I suppose I'll have to call you my sister from now, if it's all official," said my sister laughing.

"Don't worry I'll still call you Goth-Girl", I replied teasingly.

"It does pose some questions that we haven't really been considering," said my Mother.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Well now that you have complete official status as your new gender what do we tell people? What do we do about your education? The Education Authority won't continue to organise home tuition if you are well enough to go back to school."

"Oh my god we can't tell people at work that our son is a transsexual!" blurted out my Dad, " we will lose all our customers!"

"I can't you back to school like this, everyone will call me a freak!" I yelled.

"Stop Celyn and Gareth, we need to sit down and work something out. Taran please can you and Celyn go upstairs while your Father and I have a talk about things"

Taran and I went upstairs, she lead me into her bedroom, full of dark Gothic posters.

"What shall we do," I asked?

"Dunno, SIS," she replied.

"Do you have to call me that?"

She laughed.

"Well, what if we do a deal?" she asked.

"What deal?," I responded.

"You don't call me Goth-Girl and I won't call you Sis, agreed?"

"OK Taran, you've got me there. Anyway what shall we do now, while they're having their chat"

She considered for a minute.

"I know," she said.

"What?"

"Why don't I make you up as a Goth, to see what you look like, just for fun"

"Well OK," I agreed reluctantly

She chose a long top, short skirt and tights and handed them to me.

"Go and change into these and then come back and I'll do your make up."

I went back to my room and changed into my panties and padded bra and the clothes that Taran had given me. I already felt strange just wearing them. I sat down facing her in her room and she proceeded to apply her Gothic make-up skills. After twenty minutes or so she pronounced herself satisfied.

"Come and have a look," she said indicating the full length mirror on her wardrobe.

I stood and stared at this complete stranger looking back at me. Unmistakeably a girl, and someone who could be in her late teens, early twenties and not the fourteen that I was. I looked so sophisticated. I quite liked the look. As I continued to admire myself another face appeared in the mirror. A face that was shocked and getting angrier by the second!

"Take those miserable clothes off at once!" said my Mother, "having one strange Gothic daughter in the family is more than enough"

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Seven

"You're not keen on wearing a bra then?" "No, I don't like it. It's like a strap across my chest" The Price to Pay - Vol. 1.8 - Problems by Alys

---

Part 8
 

"Celyn, these are excellent pieces of work," said Mr Williams my home tutor as he handed me back some of my work that he had corrected.

"Thank you," I replied.

"The English, French and Welsh are pieces of the highest standard and luckily for me they are the subjects I have taught. But the Maths and Science is quite a struggle for me to correct," he continued," I have a little problem though"

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's this...I haven't been responsible for a student as able as you before, most of the children I see are disaffected from school and their attainment levels are usually low. I worry that I cannot give you the support you need, to succeed in your external exams next year."

"I am happy with the work we do" I responded.

"How much school have you missed now?" he asked.

"It's been just over twelve weeks since I was there last." I replied.

"How is your treatment coming along?" he asked, I was surprised at the question as normally our sessions were school work only. Mr Williams was a former classroom teacher, in his late fifties, who did a little home tutoring to supplement his pension.

"Very well, thank you, I seem to be making good progress on all fronts" I replied.

"You do seem a lot better in many ways than the first time I saw you" he remarked. I smiled at this comment, sitting there in my blouse, skirt and tank top at my Mother's insistence. I thought back to the first time that he come to give me lessons when I was lounging around in a loose tracksuit with my hair only barely brushed.

"I wonder, if you're feeling better, have you considered going back to school?" he asked. I recoiled at the question.

"Well....I don't know...I'm not sure...it's not really possible. Sorry, I can't tell you why" I spluttered in my reply.

Mr Williams looked at me carefully and then turned his attention back to the work involved in our session. An hour later I saw him out with a promise to complete my assignments by his next visit in two days.

I made myself some lunch, cheese and tomato sandwiches, and sat down to watch episode 5 of the Firefly series that I had discovered in my parents' DVD collection. After a little while I found my mind wandering from the action to what Mr Williams had said earlier. 'Going back to school'. I couldn't see how it would work, but I definitely missed the company of my group of friends. I usually had a visit from one or another of them every few days, mainly Sion or Meryl. I didn't know what to do about Meryl, most times when she came we sat and chatted, listened to music, watched DVDs sometimes holding hands but since the time when we had watched Schindler's never kissing, except for a chaste kiss on the doorstep when she left.

The phone rang. It was my Mum.

"Are you ready yet?" she asked.

I hesitated until I remembered what she meant.

"Almost" I replied.

"I'll be there in ten minutes" she said before ending the call.

I rushed upstairs and rapidly changed into the summer dress and cardigan that my Mother had insisted on me wearing for our journey. The quick addition of some jewellery and I was by the door by the time I heard the beep of the horn.

Sometime later I was sitting in the consulting room of Dr Enfys Thomas the psychiatrist who I had been seeing since my surgery. We had met every fortnight since I had been well enough to come home from the hospital.

"Celyn, you look very nice today," she said, "I wonder if this is a sign that you are coming to terms with the changes that were forced on you?"

"Dr Thomas, I only wear these clothes because my Mother insists that I make an effort to look like a girl," I replied to her question.

"What would you wear if you were given a choice?" she asked.

"Jeans and T shirt and no bra," I replied.

"You're not keen on wearing a bra then?"

"No, I don't like it. It's like a strap across my chest"

"Take it off then, if you like"

"Are you sure?" I asked after a pause while I considered whether her suggestion was genuine. She nodded her assent. I stood up and turned my back to her, unzipped my dress a little way and then unhooked my bra and took it off.

"How do you feel now?" she asked.

"More comfortable, thank you."

She looked at my breast buds, noticeable under the dress.

"It won't be too many months until you probably feel more comfortable wearing the bra, strap and everything," she commented.

We continued to talk longer, while she asked me a series of questions about my emotional reactions to the hormones, my feelings about my gender situation and my general health.

"Well, Celyn," she said, as she completed her notes on the computer, “despite the forced nature of your transition you seem to be remarkably well balanced about your life at the moment. I am a little surprised.”

"Thank you," I responded, “the thing is that someone showed me a few weeks ago that life is always worth living, whatever the price you have to pay.”

I told her the story of Heulwen and her gift of life and hope. At then end of my tale we were both moist in the eyes and Dr Thomas has to dispense some tissues.

"That is a remarkable tale, what a brave girl. You are lucky to have met her."

We sat in silence for a few moments. Finally Dr Thomas looked at me and spoke again.

"I wonder if there are any issues that you would like to raise with me?" she asked.

I told her about my tutor's remark about school.

"Well that is worth considering," she pondered.

"How could I do that, the first games lesson would be a bit of a giveaway and what toilets could I use?"

"Yes, I can see the obstacles but maybe there is a way around that."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Let me have a think, I need to do some research. I'll tell you next time," she replied, “any other problems?”

"Yes, there is one."

"What is that?"

"It's my girlfriend."

"What about her?" Dr Thomas asked.

"She's in love with me........as a boy!" I replied pausing for effect.

"That is a problem."

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Eight

"That is good news!" my Mother said, squeezing my hand again. "Wow, does that mean I'm cured?" I blurted out. The Price to Pay - Vol. 1.9 - Progress by Alys

---

Part 9
 

I sat in the chair in the waiting room, holding my Mother's hand. We had had a few strange looks as the sight of a teenage boy holding his Mother's hands was unusual to say the least. I had resisted maternal pressure to present myself as a girl. I had met Dr Williams, the young doctor in the team that was treating me, firstly as a boy and felt more comfortable in presenting myself in male clothes. Even though the overall effect with my shoulder length hair and feminised face was to give an androgynous appearance at best.

"It's taking a long time, Mum, "I said.

"Yes Celyn," she replied," but you know it's unusual to see the doctor on time, there are a lot of other children here"

I looked around the room at the range of children and parents waiting. All ages and sizes of children and seemingly of parents or guardians. All hoping for good news whenever they got to see the doctor treating them. I looked up at the white board by the reception.

Waiting times:- Dr Andersen - 20 minutes, Dr Williams - 30 minutes, Dr Jones - 45 minutes

We were well past the time expected for our appointment with Dr Williams and my stomach was approaching a state of extreme queasiness.

"Celyn Morus for Dr Williams," announced the young female nurse who had appeared in the reception area every five minutes or so in the last hour to collect children.

We both got up and followed her into the small consulting room that she indicated. Dr Eifion Williams looked up as we walked in and invited us to sit in the two chairs opposite to him. The nurse waited near the door.

"Hello Celyn, hello Mrs Morus. I hope you are well." said Dr Williams in his friendly West Walian accent.

"Yes thanks," replied my Mother, giving me a reassuring squeeze with her hand.

"Well let me get to the point," said Dr Williams with a smile on his face. I relaxed at the sight of his smile. I reasoned that no-one gets their death sentence from a smiling judge.

"These are Celyn's latest blood results," he continued, holding up some sheets of paper with lists of figures and percentages, "and I have to say that they are really remarkable. They have exceeded our best hopes"

"What do you mean?" asked my Mother.

"They show that Celyn is now completely free of cancer and is in clinical remission."

"That is good news!" my Mother said, squeezing my hand again.

"Wow, does that mean I'm cured?" I blurted out.

Dr Williams looked at me and a slight frown appeared on his face.

"I'm sorry, that is very difficult to say about cancer, it can often recur a long time after an apparent cure. The best we can conclude is that the tests show that at present you are clear"

"But I can say this," he continued," this trial has indicated 95% survival at two years and your results seem better, you have responded very well to the drug cocktail. So who knows how long you will be cancer free. At present we will continue the treatment and look to see how things are in a month"

We made an appointment to see Dr Williams again and were about to get up an leave when he took out another sheet of paper.

"I'm sorry before you go there is some information that I need about the effects of the treatment. As part of the permission to take part in this trial we are required to monitor the side effects"

"What do you mean?" asked my Mother.

"The feminising effect of the drugs," he replied.

"About me turning into a girl, you mean," I stated a little bitterly with all my efforts of appearing boyish being thrown back into my face.

"Yes, it's about that," said Dr Williams with a weary smile on his face," if you prefer to talk about it like that. Now if you would get behind the screen and change, Julie my nurse will examine you"

I walked behind the screen and took my clothes off quickly, carefully folding them into piles. I put the gown on and then sat on the edge of the doctor's couch.

"Ready," I called out.

Julie, the young freckled faced nurse came in. I stood up for her to measure my height, weight, and then around the hips, waist and bust. Then she asked me to raise my gown while she looked at my hips and my labia. She recorded something on her clipboard. Finally she asked me to raise my gown further to examine my breasts.

"My they have come on quickly," she said as she gently touched and squeezed me," I guess you have to wear a bra now"

"Not if I can avoid it," I responded, feeling increasing embarrassed as her the contact with her fingers caused my nipples to enlarge.

"You will find it painful not too soon, you should get used to it"

I shrugged my shoulders. I would cross that bridge when I had to, hopefully a long time into the future. I hoped the rate of my breast development would lessen.

Later, at home, the three of us sat at the kitchen table eating a our lunch. My Mother had informed my Father of the good news.

"That's great news, Celyn, how do you feel?" asked my Dad.

"It's a great weight off my mind, a sense of relief, Dad," I replied.

"You know, Haf," he continued, "we need to seriously look at Celyn's education options now" he added.

"Yes," my Mother replied, "Dr Thomas did say something, last week, about Celyn going back to school, to Cwm Wysg. Maybe now that he's much better we should consider it"

"That's crazy!" exclaimed my Dad, "get real here, how long before someone finds out the real extent of Celyn's changes, we'd have all the media here in a flash, without thinking about how we would be ostracised by most of the people we know."

"Why would you be ostracised, Dad?" I asked feeling a little downcast with all the good news from earlier on being undone by the complications of my life now.

"Surely there is a way..."

My Mother was interrupted by the ringing of the phone.

"Hello, yes this is Mrs Morus......who?......Dr Thomas? Oh I see.." my Mother spoke into the phone.

For the next few minutes I listened to half of conversation that didn't make much sense out of context. Finally my Mother concluded the call.

"Thanks for phoning, I really appreciate you for not waiting for the next appointment before giving us this information"

My Mother turned to myself and My Father.

"As you must have guessed, that was Dr Thomas," she said, "she has researched and worked out a plan for you to go to school. She suggested you return after the whitsun break, to give us time to sort out courses etc."

My Mother briefly outlined Dr Thomas's plan. After she had finished there were a few moments of silence between us and then my Father looked at me.

"Celyn, that just might work" he said.

"Well, I'm not sure, I'd be afraid of being caught out any moment" I said

"Oh yes there was one other thing," interrupted my Mother.

"What was that?" I asked.

"She told me what you have to say to Meryl!"

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Nine

"You're a lazy sod Ceri," said Sion, chuckling. "Some of us are born to lead, others to follow," Ceri announced imperiously," hey what are you doing?" "I'm redistributing the wealth of the leader," said Meryl............ The Price to Pay - Vol. 1.10 - Conclusion by Alys

---

Part 10
 

I felt the wind in my face as I cycled along the canal towpath. The first week of May meant that all around me new life was flourishing, from the flowers in the grass beside the cycle path to the myriad butterflies in the hedge rows. It was my first cycle ride since before going into hospital, over 3 months ago.

I passed a boat slowly chugging along the canal, the middle aged woman piloting the boat looked up as I passed, I raised my hand in greeting and she smiled and gave me a cheery wave back. It really felt like one of those days when you are just glad to be alive and after my appointment with the oncologist earlier in the day there was more reason for a smile on my lips and a sparkle in my eyes.

The text from Sion earlier had suggested meeting the gang in our usual coffee shop in Y Fenni. I had decided on a leisurely bike ride along the canal although as I pushed my bike through the gate to join the main road for the last few miles into town I was beginning to wonder if I had been a little over ambitious. I was beginning to seriously tire and was glad when I eventually reached the outskirts of the town.

"Hi Sion," I said to the taller figure of my friend who was wheeling his bike ahead of me. He stopped and turned.

"Hi Celyn, you made good time."

"Yes, but I'm feeling it now," I responded," I'm really looking forward to a Romero's luxury everything hot chocolate"

"Sounds good to me too," he said.

We locked our bikes outside our favourite place in Y Fenni and walked in the crowded café. The odour of freshly prepared hot drinks and warm pastries wafted over me. I looked around for a spare table.

"Skinny latte and bara brith*!," came a yell from the back of the room. I looked up to see Ceri grinning broadly from a table with the rest of the gang. Not having his lack of concern about attracting the disapproval of the rest of the customers I refrained from shouting back and gave him a thumbs up sign.

Romero's was generally a warm place and coupled with the heat of cycling in the balmy late spring I was soon sweating in my loose tracksuit. I felt my tight T-shirt getting moist while I waited to collect our food and drink orders from the counter.

" £2.50," I said to Ceri as I handed him his order, "but since it's you, a special price of  £5!"

He laughed and handed over the money.

"Anyway why didn't you get your own," I asked as I squeezed onto the sofa between him and Meryl.

"We," he said indicating himself, Meryl, Sian and Branwen, "didn't want to lose these seats, we kept them especially for you, aren't we kind?"

"Don't listen to him," interjected Meryl," he got here after us and he couldn't be bothered to go and get his own, he's spent the last ten minutes trying to persuade one of us to fetch him something"

"You're a lazy sod Ceri," said Sion, chuckling.

"Some of us are born to lead, others to follow," Ceri announced imperiously," hey what are you doing?"

"I'm redistributing the wealth of the leader," said Meryl as she broke Ceri's Bara Brith into smaller pieces for her, me and Sion, leaving a small portion behind for Ceri.

"I paid for that," said Ceri a little sulkily.

"Never mind," said Branwen, touching Ceri lightly on his shoulder, "look how your great wealth has brought a little joy to the lives of your followers"

"Yes thank you generous lord," I said in a mocking tone.

"Oh shut up the lot of you!"

We all laughed.

The banter continued for a while longer and my friends updated me on their news. I had seen Meryl and Sion quite often since I had been away from school but only seen the others a couple of times when they had called briefly at my house to see how I was. As they talked about the latest gossip in school I felt glad that it was going to be possible for me to come back after all. While we were chatting I felt Meryl's hand linger on my legs a few times and although it was a pleasant experience, as is human touch in general, it didn't make me feel anything, for which I was regretful.

"So when are you coming back?" asked Sian, as we seemed to be about to finish off in the café.

"After half term, last week of May," I replied," but only to do my GCSE's**. I'm thinking of college for my 'A' levels.***"

"Oh no, you have to do the sixth form in Cwm Wysg," said Meryl, lightly squeezing my leg, "why can't you stay in school?"

"Well it is over a year so maybe I will change my mind, but at the moment I am favouring college. There's a better choice of subjects"

I felt guilty at this slight distortion of the truth. Although there was a better choice of courses in college, the main reason for leaving in a year was the warning by Dr Thomas that it would be very hard to hide the changes after eighteen months of treatment. She had said that I should aim to be 'full-time' by the time I had left school.

"Who wants to go and see the new Nokia?" asked Ceri, as we were putting our used cups and plates on the tray to clear away. Everyone else murmered their approval to Ceri's idea.

"Sorry guys," I said, "I need to head back in a few minutes. It's going to take me a while to cycle home, I'm not as fit as I was"

I touched Meryl on the arm.

"Can you stay a little?" I asked.

She nodded and told the others she would catch them up in a while. As the gang made their cheerful, but noisy exit from Romero's, Meryl cuddled up to me. I put my arm around her shoulder.

"How did your visit to the oncologist go?" she asked after a little while.

"It's very good news" I replied.

"What?" she asked a little excitedly.

"My cancer is in complete remission" I replied.

"Does that mean you're not going to die?"

"Not soon anyway, Dr Williams said that I have a good chance of making it to five years and if I do that who knows what may happen"

"That's fantastic!", said Meryl as she pulled me towards her and kissed me passionately. I tried my best to respond to her actions but after a minute she pulled away and looked at me.

"You still don't feel anything do you?" she asked with the hint of a tear forming in her eye.

"I'm really sorry, Meryl. They said it was one of the side effects. I am trying my best but I can't do it. I'm so sorry" I looked down at the ground as I considered my inadequacy.

"Don't worry Celyn," said Meryl as she cuddled back into me, "we can give it time. Once you're back to your normal life, maybe it'll be better"

I paused for a while, thinking of how to put something into words.

"Listen Meryl, there is another thing, a different side effect" I said carefully.

"What is that, my sweet?" asked Meryl with concern in her voice.

"I am sterile"

"How?"

"It's the effect of the treatment," I answered vaguely," I can never have children with anyone"

"Oh that is terrible, poor you" said Meryl as she caressed my face.

"But there is something worse, listen Meryl I can't ever be with you"

"I don't understand?" she responded," what do you mean can't be with me, you are with me now"

"I can't have sex!" I blurted out almost in a whisper

"What?" she asked with anxiety in her voice.

"I have no sex drive, I don't feel attracted to anyone and I may never do"

"I don't understand, why are you telling me this? Oh...are you breaking up with me?"

I nodded my head. I felt tears welling up in my eyes.

"Why Celyn? What have I done?" she asked as two wet streaks appeared in her make up.

I took her hand and looked at her.

"I'm so sorry Meryl, it's not you, but how can we be together if I can never feel anything or be with you."

"I love you Celyn, please don't do this." Meryl said in a beseeching voice.

I looked away from and her and responded in a quiet voice.

"There's no other way Meryl, I am so sorry"

We both burst into tears as we sat there holding hands.

Eventually I stood up and walked out of the café.

I got on my bike and with one final wave at my former girlfriend still wiping the tears from her eyes, I rode off.

---

END OF VOLUME 1

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Bara Brith - literally 'Speckled Bread' is a fruity sweet bread.
** GCSE - exams taken at 15/16.
***A Levels - exams taken at 17/18

"What?" I asked, wondering what could be worse than summer dresses. "Some padded bikinis," my Mother answered, smiling. "Oh no!," I exclaimed, stunned by the unexpected development, " why do I have to wear a padded bikini?" The Price to Pay - Vol. 2.01 - Deception by Alys

---

Vol. 2.01
 
My bike wobbled a little as the BMW E60 flashed past me, much too close, going at least 10 miles per hour faster than the speed limit. Seconds later Siá´n was almost knocked off his bike as the dangerous driver cut across him to veer off the main Y Fenni-Brynmawr road.

Siá´n, shaken by the very near miss, pulled up on the grass verge a few metres after the turn off.

"Bloody hell, that was close," he said, wiping the sweat off his forehead while taking out an energy bar and his drink from his pannier bag.

I joined him sitting down on the dusty patch of green, taking out my drink.

"Think they own the road," I responded," no wonder so many cyclists get killed"

"Yes, I don't know how they missed me. It's really hot now that we've stopped," said Siá´n, as he took his cycle jersey off. I was hot, sticky and sweating profusely,.

I looked at him enviously and wished my small, but too obvious, boobs would disappear so that I could take my own cycle jersey off and get a bit cooler.

"Why don't you take your top off?" asked Siá´n, "you must be boiling"

"I'm OK," I lied," I'd better be getting on, I promised my Mum I'd be back by four to pack"

"You're lucky to be going to the seaside in this weather, I wish I was too," Siá´n said, " can you wait a sec I need a piss"

"OK," I said as Siá´n got up and made his way to a nearby small group of trees to relieve himself. As he did so I became aware of the discomfort of my own full bladder. I squirmed, as discretely as I could, to try and relieve the pressure, while looking down at the bulge of my cosmetically realistic, but functionally useless, prosthetic.

Soon we were on our way and the rush of air in my face cooled me down somewhat. I was becoming desperate to find a place to pee, as each upward movement of my legs pressed into my full bladder. It was a real battle of the mind to stop myself from weeing in my shorts on the bike.

Fifteen minutes later, after what had seemed like a lifetime of torture, I cycled up the drive of my house, while Siá´n carried on into town.

"See you next week in school," I shouted to his back.

"Yes," he shouted back, briefly turning his head," have a good time"

I dumped the bike on the floor and rushed into the downstairs toilet, locking the door, pulling my shorts down and sitting on the seat in a single desperate movement. The initial pain of releasing the pressure on my extended bladder was soon replaced by welcome feelings of relief as I tinkled into the porcelain bowl.

A few minutes later I was standing in the bathroom and looking at myself in the mirror. I considered my appearance. My hair, tied in a ponytail, didn't really refer much to a gender. My face was also pretty androgynous, most boys, my age, had yet to develop facial hair. As regards my body, the clinging, damp t-shirt emphasised my taut waist, which reflected my fitness, but also showed off the unmistakable curves of my boobs and my prominent nipples, shouting 'girl'.

I peeled off my undergarment, ignoring the discomfort of my breasts being squeezed as I took it off, and stepped into the shower.

It was such a nice feeling to cool down, and to be clean again, to add to the feelings of well being from the cycle ride.

A good quarter of an hour later I pulled on a thin crop top and shorts and made my way to the kitchen to get a snack.

"Hi, Mum," I said, as I walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to take out the carton of strawberry and banana smoothie.

My Mother stopped packing the box of food and turned towards me. She looked up at the clock.

"Celyn, I said four, it's almost half past now," she said accusingly, "are you packed yet?"

"No, sorry, Mum, just got back from my ride with Siá´n, " I responded, finishing my refreshment," we took a little detour on the way out"

"Well don't worry, no need to take too many things," she responded, cheerfully, "I've picked up some nice outfits for you this morning, I'm sure you'll love them, I couldn't resist there was a sale in Top Shop"

I inwardly groaned

"Let me guess, summer dresses?" I suggested.

"Listen we did say that this week away would be a chance for you to be a girl 24/7, to get some confidence in your self image," replied my Mother, sounding disappointed at my lack of enthusiasm for her clothes choices.

"Yes but that doesn't mean having to wear dresses and skirts all the time," I countered, hoping for a maternal change of heart, " Taran doesn't wear clothes like that and anyway shouldn't I be wearing boys' clothes to get practice projecting a more male image for starting back at school next week?"

"I know we agreed that you should go back to Cwm Wysg school for your last year, but when you go full time as a girl in nine months you will need to be able to wear girls' clothes with confidence," she affirmed, " and let's not talk about your sister and her bizarre style, hopefully she will grow out of it when she goes to university, but it's not just summer dresses, I bought some other things too"

"What?" I asked, wondering what could be worse than summer dresses.

"Some padded bikinis," my Mother answered, smiling.

"Oh no!," I exclaimed, stunned by the unexpected development, " why do I have to wear a padded bikini?"

"We'll be on the beach and what does every girl your age wear? As you are aware you are now legally female, and I want my daughter to look her best," my Mother explained, in a way that implied that there was going to be no wriggle room for me on this decision.

"Now you're going to have to rush to get ready," my Mother responded, " go and dress, your Dad will be here soon. You know he wants to make an early start"

"Right Mum, you can count on me, I'll be ready," I said before making my back upstairs.

"Celyn, one more thing," my Mother called after me.

I turned and looked at her.

"What is it?" I asked.

"When I said get dressed, I meant that exactly, Celyn, the yellow summer dress in your wardrobe, and one of your new bikinis, is what I want you to wear," she responded.

"Ohh Mum, do I have to?" I pleaded," can't I wear shorts?"

"Yes you do and no you can't" she responded firmly," now, no more arguing, hurry up and get ready!"

I shrugged my shoulders in disgust and stomped upstairs. I felt frustrated and annoyed that my idea of shorts and t-shirts for the duration of the holiday had disappeared.

I packed a few more things into the case that my Mum had already filled, sneaking in some alternative outfits, just in case the opportunity arose.

Just over three hours later, after a tiring journey in the car, I was sitting with my sister and my parents on the beautiful yellow sandy beach of the small village of Dinbych-Y-Pysgod.

"Come on Celyn let's go and get an ice cream," suggested Taran.

"Good idea sis," I responded," I can't believe how hot it is even though it's past seven"

"If you took your dress off Celyn, you'd feel cooler," pointed out my Mother.

"But I'll feel so exposed just in this bikini, Mum," I said, trying to avoid having to take my dress off.

"Celyn, take a look around you," said Taran, taking off her own black t-shirt and skirt, " nearly all the other girls our age are wearing bikinis or swimsuits"

I reluctantly unzipped my dress and folded it neatly on the beach chair. My sister accepted some money and her ice-cream instructions and we started off towards the busy kiosk at the edge of the beach.

As we walked I felt very self conscious in my bikini, it was such a skimpy thing, the gel padding in the top made me stick out a lot more than I was used to. I was also aware of the sway of my boobs with every step.

"Everyone's staring at me!" I whispered to my sister.

"No there're not, don't be silly Celyn" she replied, chuckling," anyway no more than they are at me. Hopefully they are looking more at me because my boobs are bigger than yours even with your padding"

After what seemed an embarrassing eternity, but was not more than ten minutes we reached the refreshment shop and joined the queue.

I was glad to be able to stop walking and stand still for a few moments while we waited for our turn to order.

"Hey Taran!" came a voice from a little distance away.

I turned from the ice cream kiosk to see the too familiar face of my school friend Ceri bearing down on us.

"Oh shit, Taran, it's Ceri, what do I do?" I asked, looking around for an escape route.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.01

"That's nice, dear," said my Mother," I'm glad you've met one of your friends" "Mum, he thinks I'm a boy! I need to change in case he comes here with Taran," I said urgently. "You don't need to change, Celyn," my Mum responded, a little dreamily," that bikini looks lovely on you" "Mum," I said slowly and deliberately," Ceri still thinks I'm a boy and BOYS DON'T WEAR BIKINIS" The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.02 - Appearances by Alys

---

Vol. 2.02
 

"Hey Taran!" yelled Ceri, as my school friend rapidly approached my sister and myself.

I stood still, unsure what to do, how could I explain my bikini and boobs to someone who still thought I was a boy?'

"Quick Celyn," said Taran, "go back to the caravan and change, I'll pretend you're someone I met in the queue. Now go!"

I walked quickly away in the opposite direction to the approach of my school friend, before circling back towards where my parents were, to fetch the key to our accommodation. If I had felt exposed walking with my sister, minutes earlier, the experience of moving along the busy beach, very scantily dressed was much worse. Every time I looked up I seemed to be under male review from every direction. I determined to avoid eye contact and look ahead.

Too late I noticed a group of boys, a little older than me, camped across the route I was taking. They had obviously been working through two 24-packs of lager throughout the afternoon and early evening, from the piles of empty cans littering the sand.

"Hey, darling, wanna drink?" asked the most overweight of the group, in a slurred voice, his rapidly reddening skin the evidence of his lack of concern of the dangers of skin cancer, " come here, we're having fun"

I shook my head and moved away to avoid any more interaction. I felt a strong hand grab my foot. I tried to pull myself loose, but the grip was too strong for me to move my leg away.

"Hey, not so fast," said one of my erstwhile friend's inebriated companions, " Brian only asked you if you wanted a drink, no need to be the ice cold bitch"

"Come on love, give us a hug," said the drunken Brian, as he reached for my hand to pull me down towards him.

One of the other lads, who wasn't comatose, whistled and commented, " nice tits"

I was paralysed with fear and unsure what to do. I had never had to relate, as a girl, to strange boys before. At that moment I felt very vulnerable and cursed my Mother for making me wear the bikini.

The touch of Brian's fingers on my hand snapped me out of my inaction. I used my spare foot to firstly stamp down on the hand holding me and then to kick some sand into the face of my assailant. His natural reaction to rub the irritant out of his eyes released me and, before he could regain his hold, I was running as fast as I could away from the drunken youths.

In their stupor I was twenty yards away before the youths realised what had happened. I heard them shouting after me as I put more distance between us

Ignoring the mad bouncing of my chest I ran the rest of the way back to the safety of my family location on the beach. My Mother was sitting reading a magazine while my Father was obviously having an evening swim from the evidence of the tidy pile of clothes on his beach chair.

"Quick Mum," I said, breathlessly, as I arrived, " I need the key to the caravan to change"

"What's up, Celyn?" asked my Mother, after raising her eyes from her magazine, "why were you running, Celyn, was someone chasing you?"

"Taran and I saw Ceri from school, I had to run to get away, I need the key Mum!" I said, looking quickly around in case my sister and my school friend were coming in our direction.

"That's nice, dear," said my Mother," I'm glad you've met one of your friends"

"Mum, he thinks I'm a boy! I need to change in case he comes here with Taran," I said urgently.

"You don't need to change, Celyn," my Mum responded, a little dreamily," that bikini looks lovely on you"

"Mum," I said slowly and deliberately," Ceri still thinks I'm a boy and BOYS DON'T WEAR BIKINIS"

"No need to get upset now, Celyn," replied my Mother.

"Mum, if you don't give me the key now.....," I said loudly, pausing to think of a consequence that would bother her, " ...I'm going to take this bikini off and run around naked!"

"OK, OK, if you must make a mountain out of a molehill, here's the key," she responded, taking it out of her handbag and handing it to me.

I slipped my dress back on and after grabbing the key ran off to change.

Half an hour later I walked back to where my Mum, Dad, Taran and Ceri were sitting, feeling much more relaxed in my boyish clothes, with my hair tied back and hidden by a baseball cap.

"Ah, Celyn, you're back," said my Dad, " look who Taran bumped into on the beach"

"Hi Ceri," I said, walking over to sit with Ceri and my sister, " I didn't know you were coming down to Dinbych-Y-Pysgod * for the weekend"

"Hey Celyn, it was a last minute decision by Mum and Dad, how's your back?" Ceri asked.

"My back?" I responded, not knowing what he was referring to.

Ceri gave me me a strange look," Yes, I thought....."

"It's OK, Celyn," interrupted my sister, winking at me, " I told Ceri about you burning yourself in the sun this afternoon and having to get changed"

"Oh yes, I'd forgotten, the after sun lotion has worked wonders, I'd almost forgotten, thanks for asking, Ceri," I said, trying to recover from my error.

By this time we were all feeling hungry so, after packing our beach things away, we decided to walk into the town to find something to eat. My parents decided on a pub meal but Taran and myself said that we'd prefer fish and chips so they went into Tafarn Y Pysgotwr ** while we relieved them of some ten pound notes and walked towards the nearest takeaway.

Taran strode into the shop while Ceri and I were a little behind as he entertained me with stories of incidents in school since I had been away.

"You should have seen Branwen's face when Franklinstein poured the maggots out of the jar," said Ceri, smiling with the memory," I thought she was going to puke there and then on the class table, she went every shade of green"

"Poor Branwen...." I started to respond. Suddenly I was pushed to one side by someone coming out of the off-licence carrying a multi-pack of lager.

"Out of my way," snarled a drunken, familiar voice. My baseball cap fell off, letting my shoulder length hair fall down.

"Hey watch where you're going," I said looking up to see who had bumped into me.

It was the boy who had grabbed my foot on the beach!

"Why should I?" he said belligerently, staring aggressively into my face.

"Hey Frankie, she's not worth the hassle," shouted another familiar voice.

I looked in the direction of the other person to see Brian sitting on a wall on the edge of the beach, some twenty metres away.

"She? Had they recognised me?," I pondered.

I watched as Frankie walked over to his mate. They stood there for a little while, in animated conversation, staring at me the same time.

"You OK?" asked Ceri.

"Yes thanks, I don't know how idiots like that get away with buying booze here, they are obviously underage," I responded," come on Ceri, it looks like Taran has got our fish and chips, I'm starving"

A few minutes we were sitting on the same sea wall that was now lacking in unpleasant drunken chavs***

"Nice chips," I remarked as I tucked into my meal.

"Nothing like fish and chips at the seaside, " responded Taran.

"You know there was one thing that was odd about those chavs," remarked Ceri, who had been unusually quiet for a few minutes.

"What's that?" I asked.

"Didn't you notice?" he asked.

"Notice what?" I inquired, although I had a good idea what had caught Ceri's attention.

"I'm surprised you didn't say anything," Ceri continued.

"What are you surprised about, Ceri?" I asked, trying to sound a little exasperated at his obtuseness, even though I knew where the conversation was going.

"Put us out of our misery, Ceri," said Taran," we don't know what you're talking about"

"It was pretty clear, Celyn, the one by the wall referred to you as a girl!" Ceri responded.

"I didn't notice, Ceri, I was just feeling angry about the bastard who almost pushed me over, I didn't pay attention to his mate," I lied.

"Must be Celyn's hair, sometimes it looks a little girly," interjected Taran, mischievously.

"No, it doesn't Taran, " I responded, trying to sound aggrieved even while my mind was beginning to spin with the complications of my situation. I was a girl who used to be a boy who was dressing as a boy and denying that I could possibly look like a girl!

We finished our meal in silence. Taran decided that she would go back to with my parents, who had just come out of the pub, while I decided to explore the town with Ceri.

An hour later I said goodnight to Ceri, at his caravan, and started on my way back to the site where I was staying. It felt the the cool evening air on my face as I walked briskly through the narrow streets of the resort. It was nearly eleven in the evening as I hurried back to our caravan.

I turned a corner into a side street, on the edge of the caravan site, when I stopped still. A few metres in front of me were the five boys that I bumped into earlier. I stood and stared at them, standing by the sea wall again, passing cans of lager around.

I stepped back into the shadow, but too late, I had been seen.

"Hey look who it isn't," said Brain," it's the girlie"

"and all alone too," said Frankie.

I turned and ran.

I heard the sound of pursuit.

"Let's get her!", shouted another of the gang.

I ran for my life, away from the main tourist streets. After ten minutes of dodging down side streets and alleys I stopped to look around for any signs of pursuit. I breathed a sigh of relief since I seemed to have lost the pursuit.

My respite was brief as I realised that the group of youths had spread out and had surrounded me on all sides. I moved into a dark, narrow lane, but it was a dead end, there was no way out.

I turned to look at the pursuit which had stopped about twenty metres away.

I backed up against the wall of a terraced house

"No way to go now, bitch," Brian," I think we're going to have some fun with you now"

I was trapped.

* Tenby

** The Fisherman's Inn
*** Chavs = louts

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.02

I felt a shiver of fear as I looked from one slovenly youth to another, wondering what they had in mind for their entertainment. Brian stepped towards me, " so what's your name, bitch?" I didn't reply. The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.03 - Escape by Alys

---

Vol. 2.03
 

I stood against the wall of the stone terraced house, at the end of the cul-de-sac, watching Brian, Frankie and their three other unsavoury friends walking towards me.

There was no way for me to run past them, the wall behind me was much to high to scale and there were no lights on in any of the houses in the street. Most of the houses looked like they were holiday homes and were empty. I was trapped and whatever the drunken slobs had in store for me there was no chance of avoiding it.

"You know one thing, Frankie," said Brian, as he stopped ten yards away from me.

"What's that, Brian, mate?" asked Frankie.

"Well, Frankie, if I was this little girlie here, I'd be a bit frightened," replied Brian, laughing, an ugly sound that jarred with the night sounds of the waves crashing on the beach in the distance and the breeze rustling the sails of the boats in the marina.

I felt a shiver of fear as I looked from one slovenly youth to another, wondering what they had in mind for their entertainment.

Brian stepped towards me, " so what's your name, bitch?"

I didn't reply.

"Cat got your tongue?" asked Frankie, aggressively, "come on you stupid cow, this can be as nasty as you like. If you don't want to get hurt too bad you'd better start being nice to us"

"Get stuffed!" I shouted," leave me alone!"

"Well, lads, what do you think about our little friend?" asked Brian, loudly, as he inched towards me," she's a bit rude don't you all think"

"Needs to be taught a few manners, I'd say, Brian," responded Frankie as he lunged forward, trying to grab my arm.

"Don't touch me!," I screamed as I slapped his hand away, unfortunately at the same time Brian jumped forward to grab me from behind. Before I could respond I was being held, tightly, in his big brawny arms, one around my waist, trapping my own arms, and the other on my mouth.

"Bit too slow, there, bitch," he growled in triumph, " now who wants to play with her first?"

I looked at the four other louts staring at me and to my surprise noticed one who looked a little uneasy.

"Come on Brian, she's only a kid, haven't you scared her enough," he asked, "let's go and get a few more beers"

"Don't be such a wanker, Johnnie" said Frankie, aggressively," no-one kicks sand in me face and gets away with it. I'll do her first, Bri"

"You're fucking mad, Frankie, she can't be more than thirteen," shouted Johnnie, " just leave her alone!"

Frankie turned and rushed up to Johnnie and pushed him hard, almost knocking him to the ground. Johnnie regained his balance and stepped back. Frankie marched up to him until his face was inches away from Johnnie's.

"No-one tells me what to fucking do!" yelled Frankie, " you got that bumboy?"

The two of them stood staring at each other for a few seconds, seemingly on the verge of a fight.

"Don't you call me bumboy, you prick," hissed Johnnie aggressively in response.

The attention of the rest of the gang was concentrated on the growing confrontation between Frankie and Johnnie. I decided that this was my only chance of escape.

"Ahhhh," screamed Brian, in pain as I bit hard on his hand over my mouth. He loosened the grip of his other arm as he instinctively held up his damaged hand. I pushed him away and started running as if my life depended on it, and it probably did.

"The bitch is getting away," shouted Brian, "stop her"

Frankie gave Johnnie one last push and started after me, Brian nursed his injury while the other three stood and watched the chase.

I knew I couldn't outrun Frankie, even though he was obviously a little intoxicated, he was four or five years older than me, at least six inches taller and quite a bit stronger. The advantage my lightness had given me earlier on in the day, when running bare foot on sand, was now negated by his physical maturity.

I had gained a lead of thirty yards, before he had begun running after me, but as I neared what I hoped was a bolt hole, he had cut that to less than twenty.

"Help, please, help, he's going to rape me!" I shouted as I neared the door, that I had spotted opening a few seconds before.

The door was pushed ajar.

"Quick, inside dear," spoke a female voice.

I needed no further invitation and threw myself through the door, past a small woman and into a gloomy passage. I heard the door shutting firmly behind me and then the sound of Frankie crashing into it.

"Don't worry, sweetheart, he'll not get through there, it's four inch solid oak, used to be part of the deck of my grandfather's fishing boat," reassured my rescuer.

There was a bang on the door as Frankie started trying to batter his way in. I shook with fright.

My elderly saviour picked up the intercom phone and spoke to my crazed assailant.

"Listen carefully, you cannot get in and even if you could you'd have to get past my shotgun. I have already called the police and they will be here in two minutes. So please stay longer and have a pleasant night in the cells," she bluffed.

"Granny, let me in, I just want a word with my girlfriend, it's just a misunderstanding," shouted Frankie.

The old lady, who I could make out was only wearing a dressing gown and nightie, looked at me quizzically.

I shook my head.

"He's lying, please don't let him in," I pleaded.

Frankie continued banging and although the door shook a little under his efforts it showed no sign of opening. In the meantime the sprightly householder did phone the police and was given assurances of help arriving rapidly.

I stood there still completely petrified, hoping that the door would be as strong as had been indicated. I heard the sound of an argument outside even while Frankie continued to try and smash through the door.

"Come on Frankie, let's go back to the pub," said Brian, " the others have gone already"

"Not letting the bitch escape," answered his psychotic friend.

Suddenly there was the sound of a police siren.

"Fuck, it's the scum, run!" shouted Brian.

There was a brief commotion outside as the two louts made their escape.

I stood shaking in relief.

"Come on dear, " said my protector, "come and sit down, I'll make us a cup of tea"

I followed her into the kitchen and a few minutes later was slowly sipping a reviving cup of sweet tea. She told me that her name was Angela, that she was retired from the civil service in London and had decided to return to the former family home of her grandparents in Dinbych-Y-Pysgod.

A few minutes later there was a knock on the door. Angela answered and returned with a young police officer and his female assistant. They explained that my attackers had managed to escape but they took a brief statement and suggested that I returned to the police station the following morning to look over some photographs of known trouble makers, even though they were most likely not local.

Half an hour later my parents' car pulled up outside, after Angela had phoned them and given them exact instructions how to find her house.

"Oh Celyn, are you alright," said my sister as she ran towards me and hugged me.

"Better now, thanks," I responded.

My father thanked Angela profusely and arranged to return the following day to take her out for lunch, with us, in the best local restaurant as a way of showing his gratitude for my safety.

We bade our farewells and I sat, exhausted, in the back of the car holding my sister's hand.

"I suppose we'll all have to go home tomorrow afternoon and I didn't even get chance to see Celyn wearing the other summer dresses I bought," said my Mother, grumpily, as we drove back to our caravan.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.03

"Do you know one thing I like doing in the water?" she asked. "What's that?" I responded, wondering what she could have in mind. "Swimming naked," she responded. "Really?" I said, surprised. "There's nothing like it," Mefus said, with a gleam in her eye," wanna try?" The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.04 - Perspectives by Alys

---

Vol. 2.04
 

The sea breeze played with my hair, alternatively blowing strands across my eyes and then away. The heat of the sun on my neck and arms contrasted with the delicious coolness of the sea as I walked barefoot through the shallow waves.

It was early afternoon on the last Sunday of the half-term Whitsun holiday. Mum had insisted on stopping off in Porthcawl at the beautiful, unspoiled Bae Gorffwys*, on the way back from our abbreviated, unfortunate long weekend in Dinbych-Y-Pysgod.

"It's a beautiful afternoon, let's try and get a little more beach time before we head home, we won't be able to get away again for quite a while after today" she had said, easily persuading my Dad and Taran to break up the journey.

I had tried to argue the virtues of getting home as soon as possible, having an inkling of my Mother's hidden agenda but was outvoted. Sure enough as soon as we had pulled up in one of the last places in the busy car park I was dispatched with an unworn bikini and summer dress to change in the loo.

"But why, Mum?" I had futilely protested, "what's wrong with these shorts and t-shirt?"

"Don't argue, Celyn, you know the reasons why," was her curt and final word on the matter.

There were hundreds of people enjoying themselves on the beach and luckily the tide was almost out so there was plenty of space for cricket, football, volleyball, surfing and of course sandcastle building.

I stopped walking, turned and looked back to where we had set up camp on the beach. I could just make out the green and white sun umbrella in the distance but there were too many people in the foreground, milling around, for me to make out my family.

I used my hand to shield my eyes from the early afternoon sun to try and get a glimpse of my Father sitting in the beach chair, under the umbrella. I knew that there would be no chance of seeing my Mother and my sister who I had left sunbathing on their beach towels. I backed into the water a little until it was up to my knees and moved to my left to try and look past a family group that was nearer to me, in the line of sight.

"Look out!" I heard someone shout, before firstly something hit my legs and then someone fell heavily on top of me pushing me under the water.

The shock of the cool water on my body took my breath away and I was speechless for a few seconds as I quickly stood up, the sodden summer dress stuck to my skin and my hair plastered on my face.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, are you OK?" asked a well endowed girl in a brief, black bikini, who had just run me down on the surfboard that was attached to her wrist.

I nodded and then shivered as the sea breeze rapidly cooled my wet clothes.

"I slipped off my board, I'm not very good," the surfer girl apologised," I'm sorry about your dress"

"It's OK, no damage done" I said, smiling," My Mum has plenty more where this came from."

She smiled back, obviously relieved that I wasn't annoyed with her," I guess you should take it off though, you'll get a chill"

"Yes, you're right, " I said, " I'll get back to my family and change, actually you've done me a favour"

"Really?" she asked.

"Yes, I can wear my shorts and t-shirt now," I explained, chuckling at the thought of my Mother's reaction to the failure, yet again, of her grand plan for 'Celyn's girlie experiences'.

A sudden breath of wind reminded me of the clamminess of my dress so I quickly peeled it off over my head.

"Nice bikini," said my beach companion.

"Thanks," I said," but it's my Mum's choice, pink is definitely not my colour."

I half turned to make my way back to my family.

"Would you like a go on the board?" asked the surfer girl.

"Sure, but I'll need to take this back first, " I replied, holding up the piece of sodden cotton, formerly known as today's summer dress.

"Where is your family?" she asked.

I pointed back across the beach in the general direction of the outcrop.

"Over there, can you see where the rocks start spreading onto the beach?" I replied.

"Our place is nearer, you could leave your dress to dry there if you like," she suggested.

"OK, by the way I'm Celyn," I said.

She smiled, "Nice to meet you Celyn, I'm Mefus"

"Nice to meet you, too, Mefus, nice name," I responded, following my new friend as she led the way to a group of beach chairs about fifty metres from the water.

"Thanks, although non Welsh speakers usually laugh when I explain to them what it means in English," she commented.

"Yes, I suppose, being called Strawberries wouldn't work in the West Country," I said.

We reached our destination and Mefus took my wet dress and hung it on the back of one of their beach chairs.

"It should be OK there, " she said, "my parents have gone for a walk into town in search of a cup of tea"

"You didn't want to go?" I asked.

"What and miss running girls over on my board?" she responded, laughing, "come on, lets go and see if you're as useless as me"

We turned and ran back towards the water. As I crashed into the waves, sending spray into the air, I noticed that Mefus hadn't kept up with me. I turned to see her jogging towards me, with one arm trying to restrict the movement of her large breasts and the other holding her surf board.

"I hate having such big boobs," Mefus said to me a few seconds later, as she reached the water, "they've really grown this last year, it's so hard to run now"

"I bet," I responded.

"You're lucky, yours seem the right proportion for your body," she commented, looking at my enhanced chest.

I laughed, "It's not all me, mine are tiny but my Mum likes me to wear padded bikinis on the beach"

"Oh, lucky you," said Mefus, " I wish I could take some of my padding out sometimes"

"Anyway, " I responded, " I read that big boobs are handy for swimming"

"Really, why's that?" Mefus asked.

"Well they float don't they? Well at least that's what my sister told me," I replied, " although she is smaller than you"

"Yes, they do help swimming a bit, but they make balancing on the board tricky, let me show you," she replied.

We spent the next half an hour trying to stand and surf using the board. After quite a few unsuccessful attempts I was pleased that I managed to stay up for the few seconds that were possible in the small waves in Bae Gorffwys. Mefus, despite her protestations to the contrary, was really quite skilled. She said she was looking forward to the family holiday in Newquay, Cornwall, the unofficial surfing capital of the UK for the chance of much better sea conditions.

"Are you a good swimmer?" Mefus asked, after we had returned the surf board to her beach chairs.

"Pretty good," I replied, "why do you fancy a swim?"

"Yes, I would before the tide starts coming in and I have a destination in mind," she replied.

"Where?"

"On the way down from the car park earlier I saw what looked like a piece of driftwood floating maybe three hundred metres off the beach, you fancy having a look at it?" Mefus asked.

"Sure," I said and started making my way back to the water. This time I walked so that Mefus could avoid the embarrassment of having to try to control her bouncing boobs.

We swam leisurely out towards to where Mefus said she had seen the piece of wood. Luckily the direction kept us within the limits of the safety flags. We had been out of our depth for maybe five minutes when Mefus swam a little closer.

"Do you know one thing I like doing in the water?" she asked.

"What's that?" I responded, wondering what she could have in mind.

"Swimming naked," she responded.

"Really?" I said, surprised.

"There's nothing like it," Mefus said, with a gleam in her eye," wanna try?"

"What now?" I asked, a little astonished at the suggestion, "in broad daylight"

"The nearest person is over there," she said, nodding her head at a group of swimmers about two hundred metres away," and they're going in the other way, go on, no-one will see"

"I'm not sure, what if there is someone on the clifftop, with binoculars," I countered.

"If they're using them on us then they're pervs and what will they do, phone the police and say 'Hi I'm a peeping Tom and I saw two girls swimming nude'" Mefus said, doing the imagined phone conversation in such a silly voice that I laughed so much that I almost choked on the sea water I swallowed.

"I'm not sure," I said, after I had recovered to respond.

"OK, up to you," she replied, before quickly taking off her bikini and tying the two parts around her neck.

We carried on swimming for a little longer and I could see how much she was enjoying the feel of the water over her whole body that I decided to follow her risqué example.

"OK, I'll give it a go," I said, before taking my own two piece off and securing it in the same way as Mefus.

"You won't regret it, " said Mefus as she trod water waiting for me to catch her up.

As soon as I started swimming I understand why she had suggested it. It was such a sensuous experience. I wished I had tried it before.

"Do you like it?" Mefus asked after we had been swimming without clothes for a few minutes.

"It's great," I replied, " thanks for the suggestion.

Some ten minutes later we reached our destination. It was a large piece of wood, covered in barnacles and seaweed. It had obviously been in the water a long time.

"It's old," I said, " I wonder what it is"

"Yes, there is some story about this I guess," Mefus responded, "how big do you think"

"Not sure, it's about three times longer than me, say six or seven metres by half a metre?" I suggested as I swam around the object.

"Yes that's what I thought too, how thick do you reckon?" she asked trying to measure it with her hand.

"It's hard to tell," I replied, as I pressed my hand around the rotting timber.

"About 10 cm maybe?" Mefus said.

"Could be," I responded as I swam around looking for any markings.

"Hey," I said, when I came across some faint black lettering, "come and look at this"

Mefus swam towards me and we tried to decipher the information on the piece of wood. I made out an incomplete name.

LI PRINCE ED

"What could that mean?" I pondered aloud.

"Prince Ed, do you think that could be Prince Edward?" Mefus asked.

"Could be, it makes sense, but what about the 'LI'?" I responded.

"No idea," she replied, "do you think we should be making our way back now?"

I looked towards the beach and noticed that there was a trickle of people walking up the boat ramp to the car park.

"We'd better had," I responded.

We swam back, quicker than we had swam out and soon it was time for discretion again and we trod water to put our bikinis on.

"Celyn," said Mefus as I was finishing tying my bikini top on, " I know what that piece wood is, it's very sad, I read about it in the paper"

"What boat is it?" I asked.

"Lots of people were killed, it was in the Swansea Post, there was a memorial about it because it happened just over sixty years ago," Mefus began explaining, " there was a ship, it sunk and there was the lifeboat too that sunk, that's what the LI is, it should be RNLI"

"RNLI, you mean the Royal National Lifeboat Institute?" I asked.

"Yes, that's it, the boat was the RNLI Prince Edward," she explained.

We swam back both deep in our thoughts after realising what we had encountered. I thought of all the people who had lost their lives in the incident that Mefus had described and thought that it put Mefus's concerns about her body shape and my concerns about my changed gender identity into some perspective, at least we were both alive and healthy.

My dress had dried enough to wear and so after taking my bikini off, drying and dressing, while doing the usual beach towel gymnastics, I exchanged contact details with Mefus and made my way back to where my parents and Taran were just completing packing up the beach things.

In the car later, on the way home, after we had all finished our ice-creams, I gave them an edited account of my adventures with Mefus, leaving out the nude bathing of course, and the discovery of the piece of the wrecked lifeboat.

"It's easy to forget how cruel the sea can be sometimes," commented my Father, sombrely.

* 'Bae Gorffwys' - 'Rest Bay', an unspoiled beach at Porthcawl, South Wales, popular with surfers

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.04

"Didn't you see his hair?" responded Elfed as the tinkle of the two boys relieving themselves echoed around the room. "Yes, I saw it is pretty long, so what?" asked Alex. "Yes, but it looks a bit girlie, like he's taking care of it, you know washing it and stuff," The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.05 - School by Alys

---

Vol. 2.05
 

I finished drying myself and dropped the towel to the floor to start dressing. I glanced at myself in the mirror, at my mostly androgynous looking body, before picking up my underwear off the side table.

The jiggle of my boobs, as I pulled up my underpants, painfully reminded me of the anomalous gender that I needed to effectively disguise before going to school. I positioned my packing carefully and after a few adjustments was satisfied with the appearance of my faux penis.

"Celyn, are you nearly ready?" my Mother shouted up from the bottom of the stairs, " Siá´n will be here in about ten minutes"

"Not far off, Mum, " I responded as I struggled to pull down my tight vest.

"Can I borrow your black eyeliner?" asked Taran as she barged into my room wearing her long black Goth skirt and a black bra.

"Have I got some?" I wondered aloud, not really being completely au fait with the contents of my cosmetics drawer.

"Yes, it's in the make up set I bought you last week," Taran explained.

"Fine, help yourself, " I responded and continued to dress.

My sister grabbed the required item before commenting, " you're going to struggle to fit into that t-shirt soon, sis"

"Tell me about it, Taran," I stated in response, before pressing down on my constricted breasts, " I'm not looking forward to the next growth spurt here"

My sister stood next to me as she used my wall mirror to finish applying her makeup.

"Are you sure this is such a good idea?" she asked.

"What other choice do I have?" I responded, " I need to pass my GCSE's next year if I want to do A'levels and go to Uni*"

"You could still get a transfer," Taran stated, finishing her final artistic touches and as usual taking her interpretation of the school rules, allowing subtle makeup for girls in the sixth form, to the limit and beyond.

"I'm not ready to be a girl full-time, sis, " I responded.

Taran replaced the borrowed items in my drawer, " you can't put it off for ever."

I finished dressing, putting the final knot in my school tie. I turned to my sister to seek her opinion, "how do I look?"

She stepped back and studied my appearance carefully for a few seconds.

"You look almost like my brother again, Celyn," she replied, "it's just that your face seems softer and your hair is longer. You'll be fine, got to go, Anwen is picking me up in ten minutes"

My sister disappeared to her goth lair and I muttered after her, " lucky sod having a lift to school."

"Hard luck, sis," she responded, laughing, "the advantages of being the eldest child"

Fifteen minutes later I was cycling with Siá´n on the way to school. It was already a warm day, even though it was only a little past 8am. I hoped I wouldn't regret having to wear the t-shirt under my school shirt.

The traffic out of town on the way to workplaces in the nearest city, Casnewydd, was already busy. I was glad that the council had completed the cycle path in the Spring. Twenty ton lorries thundering past two inches away from me was an experience to avoid if at all possible.

Not too soon we reached the school gates and locked our bikes up in the pupil bike stands. I grabbed my bag and started to slowly walk towards the school entrance. Everything looked so familiar, it felt like I had not been away at all. For a moment the life changing events of the previous months seemed to have been just an unpleasant dream.

"Hey, you'd better hurry, Celyn, you'll be late for registration," said Siá´n as he caught up with me, "something wrong?"

I matched his pace as we hurried into the building.

"Did your parents ever tell you about a famous TV series from the eighties when they brought back one of the characters, who had been killed, by saying the previous series had just been a dream?" I asked.

"Not sure," he replied, "..wait, was it something about oil, in America?"

"Yep," I responded, "that's it, not sure what the name of the series was though"

"I think it was called Texas** or something, why?" Siá´n asked.

"Dunno, " I replied, " it's just that sometimes it feels like it all never happened, you know, the cancer and stuff, especially now I'm back here and everything looks exactly the same"

"Don't worry, once you see everyone in the class again," said Siá´n, reassuringly, " everything'll be back to normal and you can begin to forget it ever happened"

The strange sensations of my prosthetic moving and the rubbing of my nipples on my t-shirt brought me back to the immediate reality of my situation and the abnormal nature of my situation.

The bell for registration went and so we rushed down the main corridor and up the stairs to our registration class***.

"Celyn!" yelled Ceri, as we walked into the room, "welcome back!"

"Hey Celyn," greeted Sioned as she walked over to me and hugged me, before whispering, "welcome back, we've all missed you"

Soon I was the centre of attention for the whole class who came over and welcomed me with pats on the back and shoulders, from the boys, and hugs, from the girls. I was glad for once that Meryl wasn't in the same class as me for registration. I wasn't looking forward to seeing my ex-girlfriend again, only three weeks after I had ended our relationship.

"What's going on here?" asked Mr John, our form-teacher, in a curious tone, as he walked into the classroom and observed the crowd of pupils gathered around me.

We all stopped talking, I disentangled myself from the latest sweet hug, and we all turned to face the friendly middle-aged History teacher.

"Hello sir, " I said, "everyone was just saying hello to me"

"Oh, I see, Celyn," said Mr John, smiling, "well it's great to see you back"

"Thank you, sir, " I said, as I found my way to my usual table with Sioned, Ceri and Siá´n.

Mr John sat down and quickly registered us on the OCR form. He then made the usual announcements, followed by the school's concession to the legal requirement for religious observance every morning.

"Ok, everyone," Mr John said, with a serious tone in his voice, "it's time for our minute of contemplation, will you please read though the brief article, I've just handed out, from the Education Guardian about the situation in Darfur. While you're reading please consider how lucky you all are not to be living in a refugee camp, maybe having lost family and friends in the conflict and facing a very uncertain future"

It was a sombre group of pupils that filed out of the classroom a few minutes later on the way to our first lessons. I was soon in the swing of things as the welcome from my registration class was repeated by each group of new pupils I met in the next three hours. Everyone seemed friendly except that I soon discovered one of the downsides of returning to school. The shoulder strap of my school bag was soon beginning to bite into my shoulder with all the course booklets the teachers insisted on me taking to catch up on the work I'd missed.

"Got to go.." I said urgently to Siá´n, at break time, as we staggered out through the smoke and fumes of our latest near brush with death at the hands of our Chemistry teacher, 'Wildman Watkins'.

"k, see you by the pond," he replied, before I dashed off to somewhere I had dreaded having to visit on returning to school.

Two year Sevens were coming out of the boys' toilets as I reached them. I walked in and searched for a stall that was unoccupied. It was my lucky day! There was one available and miracle of miracles it had a functioning lock, something I knew was unlikely to be true for much longer into the term. There was of course no toilet paper, there never was. I took out the sheets that I had remembered to bring and used a few to clean the urine covered seat. Soon enough I was satisfied that it was safe to sit.

I heard some voices as some other pupils entered the lavs.

"Did you see that Celyn is back?" asked a familiar voice.

"Something odd about him though," replied another familiar voice.

It was Alex and Elfed, two rather unskillful members of the football squad.

"What do you mean?" asked Alex.

"Didn't you see his hair?" responded Elfed as the tinkle of the two boys relieving themselves echoed around the room.

"Yes, I saw, it is pretty long, so what?" asked Alex.

"Yes, but it looks a bit girlie, like he's taking care of it, you know washing it and stuff," explained Elfed, "and there's another thing too"

"What's that?" asked his friend.

"Have a look at his fingers, I'm sure I saw traces of nail varnish on it," said Elfed.

I looked at my hand and noticed to my horror a little bit of pink colour on some of the fingers of my right hand. I cursed my Mother for making me dress up and put on make up to go out for a meal the night before.

"You serious, mate?" asked Alex, " do you think he might be gay or something?"

"Could be," responded Elfed, " you know he ditched Meryl? What other reason could he have for dumping such a hot bitch as her?"

"We'd better watch our bums in training then," laughed Alex, as he and Elfed moved over to the sinks to wash their hands," mind there'd be one thing worse than having a poof in the team"

"What's that?" asked Elfed, as he turned the hand-dryer on. I stood up and rearranged my clothes quickly, grateful for the mask of the noisy machine. I almost didn't hear Alex's reply.

"Having a fucking girl playing!" came the crude response before the pair of bigots left the room.

I sighed loudly, in relief at my non-discovery. I was grateful in some way for confirmation of the wisdom of my decision to cover up my gender change but I also felt sad at the level of prejudice and intolerance shown by Alex and Elfed, two fellow members of the team I had thought I got along with well enough.

I was glad to find my friends standing around the school fish pond consuming their snacks and drinks. I took my muesli bar out of my bag, cursing my Mother again for not allowing me to bring chocolate to school.

"You're a girl now," she had said, when I queried the contents of my lunchbox before leaving home that morning, " you've got to watch your weight"

I noticed Meryl sitting on the grass.

"Hi Meryl," I said, a little shyly, smiling.

"Hi, Celyn, welcome back," she responded warmly, although I noticed there seemed to be a sadness in her eyes, I felt pangs of guilt. I was saved from having to say anything else to Meryl by Ceri's usual boisterousness.

"Hey, everyone I've got a new mobile," he announced, as he held up his shiny new device. Soon we were comparing our various phones and swapping numbers. I had more numbers to swap than everyone else and soon I was tiring of the chore of exchanging information with each person individually.

"This is going to take ages," I said after I had managed only five numbers with only a minute or so to the end of break.

"Why don't you just use bluetooth?" asked Siá´n.

"Good idea, " I responded and activated the facility on my device. A list of compatible phones in the immediate vicinity came up. I looked at some of the strange user names and realised that it would take me almost as long to filter out anyone who wasn't my friend from the list and then exchange numbers as it had been to do the exchange manually. I thought for a little while about how to short-circuit this process.

The sound of the bell ringing for the end of break crystallised my mind so I quickly sent my number to everyone whose bluetooth contact details had appeared on my phone.

I rushed after Sioned and Ceri for our next lesson. It was Biology with Mr Franklin, otherwise know as Franklinstein for his predilection for chopping up small creatures. Despite this rather unsavoury aspect to his personality I found the subject fascinating and felt that I was doing well in the subject.

Unusually he was late for the lesson so I sat down with my friends near the back as we waited for our teacher. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I had of course turned the ringer off. It wasn't a good idea to let your mobile go off in a lesson, it would be confiscated and you might never see it again.

I took the phone out my pocket, and flicked open the case to read the text message.

My eyes scanned the phone display. My heart suddenly raced and I felt something akin to a panic attack. The four words seared into my brain

"I know your secret"

*GCSE = school final exams at 16, A'levels = school final exams at 18 and also qualification for university/(other further education) entry
** Dallas and the death of Bobby
*** Registration class, called Homeroom in the US I think.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.05

"You sure the smoke alarm is working?" I asked Taran, cheekily, referring to a time when a forgotten casserole had almost burned the house down. She closed the cooker door and then turned to look at me before poking her tongue out and then giving me the finger. "Very funny, smart-ass," she said," just wait till it's your turn to cook" The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.06 - Worries by Alys

---

Vol. 2.06
 

I quickly put the phone in my pocket on the entry of our Biology teacher. I glanced around the room, but there seemed to be no-one looking at me. There was no obvious suspect. I wondered what the message could mean. 'I know your secret' was very ambiguous but naturally I feared the worse. But who in school could possibly be aware of the developing female body underneath my male clothes.

"What is the advantage of meiosis to an organism in reproduction?" asked Mr Franklin.

There was a sudden silence. I looked up from my open textbook and realised that I was being stared at by a man in his early fifties.

"Celyn, I asked you a question. I would be grateful if you could respond," stated the slightly annoyed Biologist.

"Oh, sorry sir, did you say the advantage of meiosis?" I asked, hesitantly, having only half heard the question.

Mr Franklin frowned and then as if remembering something smiled indulgently at me.

"Celyn, I understand you might be a bit rusty after your time off, but you will need to revise the topics we have studied recently if you are to catch up," he said before turning to ask the same question to another student and receiving the appropriate answer.

I tried to pay more attention to the rest of the lesson and even succeeded in answering a few straight forward questions from the text book but it was a struggle. Every few minutes my mind would wonder back to the mystery of the text message.

I was very wary of who was around me as I walked out of school with Siá´n at the end of the day.

"How was your day?" asked my travel companion in a friendly way.

"It was OK, I guess," I replied, " it all seemed a bit of a blur, I've got a lot to catch up on"

"Don't worry, Celyn, you'll be fine in a few days," reassured Siá´n as we both unshackled our bikes.

The weight of my school bag on my shoulders, due to all the course booklets I had acquired, made the journey home a lot harder and by the time I turned off the road into my driveway, waving goodbye to Siá´n, I was sweating profusely.

"How was your day, dear?" asked my Mum as I staggered through the front door, dumping my bag on the floor and making my way upstairs for a refreshing shower.

I had only taken one step up when I heard my Mother's raised voice.

"Celyn!" she said sternly, "you know you're not supposed to just drop your school pack in the hall."

"Aw Mum," I responded, " I really need a shower, I'll move it later."

"No Celyn, you'll move it now, it's time you got out of your slovenly habits," she insisted.

"Alright Mum," I responded, conceding defeat," I'll take it up."

I trudged back to the front door and shouldered the offending item.

"Dunno why you're having a go, you didn't used to be bothered," I commented, grumpily.

"Celyn, you know perfectly well why," she explained, " you're now female and it's important for you to learn that girls are naturally tidier than boys."

"Thanks for reminding me," I muttered, out of earshot, as I slowly made my way up the stairs," again and again and again."

Finally I was able to dump all my clothes and let the pulse of the shower spray massage some of the physical and mental pains away. I considered for a few moments my Mother's tortured logic in trying to teach me to do something that should, according to her version of my changed gender, come naturally. I decided that I would never understand how her mind worked and turned my thoughts to my greater problem, finding out who, in school, might know the truth about me. I went through a long list of fellow pupils but none of them seemed possibilities.

Later I lay on my bed, in a loose t-shirt and jogging bottoms, feeling rested and listening to my Ipod. I had a little time to waste before the evening meal so I checked Itunes for some tracks of my favourite bands. I wasn't looking forward to have to spend some time, later on in the evening, on my backlog of school work.

My phone buzzed, announcing the arrival of a text message. I picked it up and read.

How did it go?

I quickly sent a short positive reply to Sioned and then returned my mobile to my side table. I briefly glanced at my calender and groaned.

I hated having to dilate with a vengeance, but I knew if I didn't I'd get a major row from the consultant when I had my next internal. I opened the small drawer, marked the appropriate day in my special diary, another thing that would get me told off about if it wasn't up to date, and then took out the dreaded equipment.

A while later, feeling pretty sore inside after my stretching session I made my way downstairs in search of some painkillers. I opened the door to the kitchen and found my sister putting the finishing touches to a casserole before placing it in the oven.

"You sure the smoke alarm is working?" I asked Taran, cheekily, referring to a time when a forgotten casserole had almost burned the house down.

She closed the cooker door and then turned to look at me before poking her tongue out and then giving me the finger.

"Very funny, smart-ass," she said," just wait till it's your turn to cook"

"Well that's never as far as I can see, Dad never does," I responded.

A strange smile spread across her goth made up face, giving her rather a sinister look.

"In case you hadn't noticed, you are now a GIRL, sis," she said with emphasis," and you know Mum's rather quaint idea of gender roles."

I groaned," not that as well," and then wandered over to the medical drawer, took out a couple of Ibuprofen and then swallowed them with a little water.

"As well? What are you on about and what's with the pills, you feeling sick?" she asked.

I explained about the tidiness gene and the dilating.

My sister walked over to where I was sitting at the table with my half empty glass. She sat down next to me, putting her arm gently around me shoulder.

"How did it go today, Celyn?" she asked.

"Alright I guess," I replied.

"Only alright, tell your big sis what went wrong," she said.

I gave her a general account, including the incident with Alex and Elfed in the toilets. She shook her head when I described how they had noticed traces of nail varnish.

"We'll have to get Mum to lay off the makeup on school nights, we don't want you getting into trouble with the other kids," she stated.

"Can't I just lay off it altogether," I pleaded.

"Celyn you know you'll be living full time as a girl in less than eighteen months, you need to know how to use it yourself, otherwise everyone will think you're odd"

I sat and stared at the table, I wished I could just move away and start again, life was becoming so complicated.

"What's wrong? Was there something else that happened today," Taran asked.

"Yes," I said after a little hesitation.

"What was it?" she asked, sounding concerned about me withholding something that was obviously worse than the incident with the two bigots.

"Wait I'll show you," I responded and went to fetch my mobile phone. I noticed that there was a message from Ceri, which I responded to as I walked back to the kitchen. I sat back at the table, retrieved the anonymous message before handing the phone to my sister.

"Here," I said," read this."

I watched her face as she read the message a few times. Finally she turned to face me.

"But what does 'I know your secret' mean? Who sent it?" she asked.

"No idea," I replied," it could mean anything and it could be anyone sending it."

"Only one way to find out," she said with determination before pressing the call button.

"Don't do that, Taran," I urged," it could be anyone."

I tried to grab the mobile off my sister but she held it away from me as it dialled. Suddenly the ringing tone ended. Taran put the phone to her ear.

"Hello," she said," who's that?"

I stared at her and wondered who might have answered the call.

"No good," she said after a few seconds of apparently listening to some message.

She held it to my ear.

"This Orange phone is switched off, please try again, later," announced the computer generated operator.

"I told you it was a waste of time," I said, while feeling despondent at her failure.

"Leave this with me," she said, mysteriously, while she made a note of the number, "I'll get some friends to sort out whoever this idiot is, by the time we've finished with him, he won't know whether he's coming or going."

"How do you know it's a boy?" I asked, surprised at her confidence about the gender of my stalker.

"Believe you me," Taran said, "there's no doubt in my mind that the person behind this is male."

The oven pinged the imminent end of the casserole cooking cycle. Taran sent me to change for dinner while she prepared the table.

After swearing my sister to secrecy about the negative incidents I went to my room.

I decided to go with as male a look as possible and put on a loose casual shirt and trousers. This only gained a disapproving look from my Mother, even though she knew the ground rules for school nights. I was allowed to dress as a boy, although I could wear female clothes if I wished, as if I would.

"So, son, how did it go back at school?" asked my Dad, as if wiping out the past four months out of existence.

"Gareth," scolded my Mum," it's daughter not son!"

"Sorry, Haf," he replied, apologetically," sometimes when Celyn is dressed like that it is hard to remember."

I gave my father a positive spin of my day and then turned the conversation onto TV and sport, much safer topics.

After dinner I spent a little while leafing through my school work but very soon the physical strain of the day began to hit me and I felt my eyes closing.

That night I tossed and turned as I struggled to sleep and escape from the recurring dreams of someone, whose face I never got to see, ripping my clothes off in a whole school assembly and shouting out, "Everyone look at the freak!"

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.06

"How's that?" she had asked as she had taken my left hand and placed it under her bra.       "So soft and nice," I had responded as I had gently fondled her. Almost in an instant my memory had merged into my own pleasure as I continued to touch myself.       "What's so soft and nice, Celyn?" asked my Mother as she strode into my room. The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.07 - Boobs! by Alys

---

Vol. 2.07
 

The sun streamed through the window of my bedroom, casting the pattern of the window frame in shadow on the wall above my bed. As I sat in my armchair, watching the motes of dust dancing in the light, I thought about the previous two days.

I had gone to school with some trepidation on Tuesday, after receiving the alarming text message the day before. At first I had been on tenterhooks expecting to be outed at any moment but when that didn't happen by the end of the day I began to think that it had been some silly joke by one of my friends.

Wednesday had gone even better and this positive experience had given me even more confidence in my ability to continue appearing as a boy in school. Despite this success I was still grateful for the day off for my medical appointments.

It was already very warm, even though it was only just after nine in the morning.

"Are you ready yet Celyn?" shouted my Mother from downstairs.

"Almost," I yelled back before hurriedly getting up from the armchair to sit down at my desk to finish applying my makeup according to the exact instructions I had been given.

"Celyn, you need to make more of an effort with your appearance than that, " my Mother had said earlier, with exasperation, after she had examined with displeasure my previous two attempts," you're not a boy anymore, you're a girl and girls always take care to look pretty."

I smiled as I mentally pictured some of the girls in school who would definitely not agree with her viewpoint before busying myself with my task. Feeling a little uncomfortable in the summer warmth I slipped off my dressing gown and adjusted the desk mirror to show my whole face. The light breeze brushing my naked shoulders caused me to shiver a little as I reached for the mascara.

The movement of my body had caused the usual jiggle in my chest. I was becoming a little concerned the way the 'boob-fairy' was being too eager and too generous in bestowing her blessings. At the rate I was developing I was worried that I would be as well endowed as my sister and Mother long before I had finished my courses, and stopped being a boy, in school.

I finished the last touches of my lipstick and looked carefully at my face to judge the overall effect. As usual it was a shock to see a very pretty girl staring back at me and copying my every expression. Sometimes I had to work hard to imprint the person that stared back at me into my self image. I wondered what my friends would say to see me now.

Thinking back to how I had felt a mere six months ago, under the influence of the first, and last, trickle of male hormones into my body, I knew that my male friends would be fascinated to see my boobs.

As I absent-mindedly circled my left nipple with my right index finger I wondered what it would feel like to have someone else touch me there. I couldn't imagine ever wanting a boy to do that and the idea of touching a male penis was a nausea inducing idea. I felt my nipple harden and extend under my gentle touch and that took me back to the time I had taken Meryl to the cinema and she had let me touch her breasts as we sat at the back of the cinema.

"How's that?" she had asked as she had taken my left hand and placed it under her bra.

"So soft and nice," I had responded as I had gently fondled her. Almost in an instant my memory had merged into my own pleasure as I continued to touch myself.

"What's so soft and nice, Celyn?" asked my Mother as she strode into my room.

I stared at my unexpected visitor in complete incomprehension for a few seconds before responding in two ways.

Firstly my face lit up bright red in embarrassment at the realisation my Mother had heard me vocalising the memory of a sweet moment with my ex-girlfriend and also she had caught me playing with my boobs.

The second thing I did was to fold my arms across my chest and to glare at my intruder.

"Don't you ever knock?" I asked angrily.

"Celyn, we're both girls now so no need for false modesty," she replied calmly, " and also you really need to get a move on if we're not to be late for the first appointment. Come on I'll help you dress, I can't wait to see you in your new push-up and dress. Nice make-up by the way."

I sighed at my Mother's unrelenting crusade and resigned myself to my fate.

仝仝仝仝仝
     

"You're looking very pretty today, Celyn," said Doctor Thomas as I sat opposite her, in her consulting room at University Hospital in Caerdydd, less than an hour later.

"Thank you Doctor Thomas, " I replied, smiling at the compliment, even while feeling uncomfortable wearing my push up bra and pink, high waist, low cut summer dress. My Mother had also insisted on a matching pink colour on my nails and my toes visible through my strappy, flat Roman sandals.

"Are you sure you're OK with these clothes, Celyn?" she asked, " and the makeup? I must say I'm a little surprised with your appearance today but pleased with your progress"

"It's OK, I know it's not my usual image and I would be more relaxed in t-shirt and shorts but I wanted to show you that I'm OK now with girly stuff," I replied, being careful not to let the Psychiatrist know what I really felt about the much too feminine outfit I was wearing.

Doctor Thomas smiled at me and made some notes on her computer.

"In that case," she said, after she had completed her typing," since you seem to becoming better adjusted to your transition I feel I could start seeing you monthly instead of fortnightly from now on. How do you feel about that?"

"I think it's a good idea," I responded, briefly clenching my fist, hidden on my lap, in triumph.

"Great," she said, before scribbling something on a piece of paper," if you can hand this to Janice in reception, on your way out, she'll make our next appointment."

Doctor Thomas stood up to show me out. I followed after her. She put her hand on the door handle to open it but then hesitated.

"One thing that puzzles me though, Celyn," she said.

"What's that?" I asked.

"I'm surprised that you have developed so quickly..um..there," she explained, indicating my obvious cleavage.

I laughed, a small, rather embarrassed sound.

"Doctor Thomas, it's..well you know..a padded bra," I explained, rather hesitantly," I'm not really big there at all."

"Oh, I see," she responded, smiling again," well I'm sure you'll get lots of attention from the boys looking like that. Take care Celyn, bye"

"Bye Doctor Thomas," I said as I walked out into the main office, the door closing behind me. I handed the slip of paper to Janice, the receptionist, and stood waiting for my Mother to come and confirm the next appointment.

As she walked over she raised her eyebrows. I gave her the thumbs up and she smiled in acknowledgement at the success of our plan to persuade Doctor Thomas to change the frequency of the appointments. The irritation of being all girled up for a day was a disagreeable experience that I now felt worth bearing. I was already anticipating the promised future weekends dressed as a boy and shopping trips to replenish my supply of male clothing.

仝仝仝仝仝
     

An hour later in another part of the hospital we were in an almost identical waiting room, with a few other patients and relatives waiting for my next appointment.

Eventually we were called to see our young consultant.

"Hello Celyn, hello Mrs Morus. I hope you are well." said Dr Williams in his friendly West Walian accent, indicating two seats for us.

"Yes thanks," replied my Mother, giving me a reassuring squeeze with her hand.

"These are Celyn's latest blood results," he continued, holding up some sheets of paper with lists of figures and percentages," and everything is still excellent. In fact I was thinking maybe it might be appropriate to see you less often, maybe three monthly from now on. How do you feel about that?"

"That sounds like a good idea," responded my Mother.

"What do you think Celyn?" asked the doctor, turning to look at me.

"I agree with my Mum, " I replied as demurely as possible.

"That's good then. Now is there anything you wanted to raise with me about how the treatment is going?" he asked as he typed a few things on his computer.

"Everything is fine," responded my Mother, "isn't that true Celyn?"

My Mother and Doctor Williams both glanced in my direction.

"Well yes, things are OK," I replied, " although there is one thing that is bothering me a little."

"What's that?" asked both of the adults almost in unison.

"Well..I seem to be growing..you know..developing here," I explained a little unsure of the words to use," you know, my boobs are getting big so quickly. Is that normal?"

"Well as you may know breast size has a quite strong genetic component so most girls get similar development to their Mothers and other female relatives," said Doctor Williams as he moved his gaze from my cleavage to my Mother's and back again," and I see that your Mother is fairly well endowed."

I noticed my Mother was blushing a little at the comment by the young doctor.

"Yes, I understand that, " I said," but it all seems to be happening so quickly and...well it could cause problems in school."

Doctor Williams looked a little confused so I explained to him about the plan to attend school as a boy for another nine months to complete my examination courses. Once he had grasped the potential problems associated with too rapid breast development he promised to contact the research team in the states to see if he could modify the hormone dosage in my medication.

仝仝仝仝仝
     
Twenty minutes later I was sat opposite my Mother in the hospital restaurant eating a chocolate brownie as she sipped her cappuccino.

"You are a sneaky child," she said smiling.

"Why's that?" I asked between bites in my treat.

"I wondered why you acquiesced so easily to wear the push-up bra this morning," she said.

"Why do you think I did that Mum?" I asked, wondering if she had worked it out.

She touched me gently on the shoulder before replying," because you wanted to give poor Doctor Williams the impression that your boobs are growing faster than they are."

"Don't worry Mum, I'm sure I'll get my 36C's soon enough, it'll just take a little longer now," I said as I smiled and finished my brownie. Two-nil to Celyn!

仝仝仝仝仝
     

An hour and a half later my Mother at last escaped the usual heavy traffic around Pontypridd and pulled into the Maesglas estate. She parked outside number twenty three and for a few moments we sat in the car. My cousin Eifiona was planning to get married in a couple of years and my Mother had suggested me as a possible replacement for my sister as a possible bridesmaid.

"Don't worry Celyn it'll be fine, I'm sure that aunty Jane, Gwion and Eifiona, if she's there, will be OK with how you look," my Mother reassured, squeezing my arm," come lets go in."

We slowly walked up the path of the identikit three bedroom semi-detached house. Before we could knock the door was flung open and my Aunty Jane stood there in all her plump glory.

"Haf, lovely to see you," she said as she walked forward to hug my Mum," and Celyn, how you've changed."

"Hi Aunty Jane," I said politely as I stood there waiting for the usual embrace.

I felt a little hurt when after a moment's hesitation my Mother's sister turned away and walked back into the house. We followed her into the lounge and sat down while she prepared a cups of tea.

As we sipped our tea and the two women caught up on family gossip I felt myself to be under intense scrutiny although every time I caught my aunt's stare she immediately looked away.

"Celyn, this must be boring for you," said my Mum, after a while," why don't you go and say hello to Gwion?"

I put my cup down, glad to escape the continuous visual examination, and made my way up the stairs to my cousin's room. We only saw each other a few times a year, Christmas and occasional visits, but I generally enjoyed his company.

I knocked on his door.

"Come in," came the muffled voice.

"Hi Gwion," I said to his back as he sat playing Sonic on his PlayStation Two.

"Hi Celyn, be with you in a minute, just got to finish this level," he replied.

I sat on the edge of his bed as he frantically tried to complete the stage of the game. Although he was a few months younger than me he was at least a head taller, the influence of his father who stood well over six foot.

After a few minutes he yelled in triumph and pausing his game spun in his chair towards me.

"Been trying to finish that..........................," he began before his voice trailed off as he took in my image change since the last time he had seen me.

For some moments his eyes were transfixed on my boobs before they moved over the rest of my body before returning to the first thing that had caught his attention.

"Something wrong?" I asked innocently.

"Ohmigod is that really you, Celyn?" he asked after a few more seconds ogling my cleavage.

"Yep, still me," I replied," and one thing you might not have noticed."

"What's that?" he said a little dreamily.

"My head is up here!" I said feeling a little irritated.

"Sorry, it's just hard to take in that my male cousin is now such a hot babe," he explained, " I mean I knew about the sex change but I never expected you to have tits and everything."

"Come on, how about going down the field, have you got some spare kit and trainers?" I suggested to take his mind off my new status as potential eye candy," and a tight t-shirt would be good."

He turned away from his study of my body and retrieved some clothes from his wardrobe.

I quickly unzipped and shimmied out of my dress before removing my bra and placing the two items carefully on my cousin's bed. I turned to see Gwion staring at my boobs, with what looked like an erection forming in his shorts

"Wow, they're great," he said, almost trance like as he ogled me again, "can I touch them?"

"No you bloody can't," I replied crossly," now hand me that t-shirt"

I grabbed it out of his hand and quickly pulled it over me. It was at least a size too small and I loved the way it almost completely flattened me.

Once I was dressed in the kit and had tied my hair back Gwion seemed to recover from his adolescent male fantasy and related to me in more usual way. Soon enough we were on the nearby field having a good kick about which soon transformed into a four a side game when some other boys joined us.

Eventually the others had to leave for their tea so we made our way back to the house.

"That was a great hat-trick," complimented my cousin as we walked through the door.

"You were bloody good too," I said before high-fiving my team mate.

His strange lack of response made me turn to see someone glaring at me.

"Celyn, what have you been doing?" asked my Mother angrily.

"Playing football with Gwion, " I replied a little puzzled by the strength of her reaction, "why?"

"Why? You ask. Are you serious?" she said, staring at me," Just look at what you've done to your makeup!"

"Sorry Mum," I said as apologetically as possible.

"Go and fetch your clothes and I'll see if I can do a repair job, I am so disappointed in you, Celyn," she said.

Later on there was a strange atmosphere at the tea table as both Aunty Jane and her daughter Eifiona, who had joined us from work, stared at me as if I was a Martian while Gwion reverted to his earlier behaviour. I was glad to finally escape to make our way home.

仝仝仝仝仝
     

A couple of hours later I was at last in the refuge of my bedroom carefully removing my makeup. I was going to make sure that no one would notice any traces when I went to school in the morning.

My phone buzzed announcing the arrival of message. I flicked it open and then almost dropped it in shock as I read it.

'You weren't at school today, I am watching over you'

I picked up the phone and pressed to dial the text number, when the answerphone came on I was so angry I yelled.

"Why the fuck don't you leave me alone!!!" and threw the phone down on bed.

I put my head on the table and started sobbing, the tears were soon streaking the table cover with makeup. After a day dominated by Mum's feminising campaign, Gwion's arousal, Aunty Jane and Eifiona's's distaste, the anonymous message was really the last straw.

Why was the whole world so freaked out about what had happened to me!!

A few moments later I heard a noise

"Who were you shouting at? What's going on Celyn?" asked my Dad at the open door.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.07

I was suddenly aware that I had company. "Hey not bad for a girl!" said a male voice. I turned to see a boy of about my own age, if slightly taller, smiling at me. "What do you mean not bad for girl?" I responded, slightly irritated by the comment," I'd say not bad for anyone." The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.08 - Bras! by Alys

---

Vol. 2.08
 

For about the hundredth time I rearranged the shoulder strap of my bra under my t-shirt. I just hated having to wear one and dreaded the time when my boobs had properly developed and I would probably need support all the time.

It was a hot morning and I was grateful for the cooling sea breeze in my face. From my seat on the edge of the beach I watched as the first weekend tourists began to splash about in the water. I was glad that our schedule meant I wouldn't be joining them, I'd had enough of bikinis after our previous misadventures.

My phone buzzed, I took it out of my skirt pocket and flicked it open to read the message.

"Want 2 cycle 2day?"

I sighed at my missed opportunity and sent a reply to Siá´n.

"Sorry in Aber with family all day"

"Why?"

"Sis wants 2 go uni here"

"OK, go cricket 2mor?"

"Maybe, txt me, ok?"

"OK, have fun"

I yawned and cursed my sister for wanting to come to Aberystwyth for the university open day. I hadn't been amused at being dragged out of bed at some obscenely early time. I wondered sometimes if my parents had ever been teenagers, didn't they know that being forced from your sleep before ten in the morning was classified as inhumane and cruel treatment by the UN?

The only positive part of the the almost three hour journey, from our home to west Wales, had been avoiding the worst excesses of my Mother's girly training. She had found herself without allies in the house when Taran appeared in her concession to normality of skirt, t-shirt, leggings and minimal makeup. Even she was not stupid enough to think university professors were in favour of positive discrimination for goths.

I smiled as I thought how my Mother had still tried to persuade me of the virtues of yet another summer dress but in the end she had had to accept my argument for equal treatment with my sister and my father's supportive if rather confusing comment.

"Haf, we have to be consistent," he had said firmly, after listening to ten minutes of ding dong between me and my Mum," it's not fair to treat Celyn any different to his, sorry her, sister."

Hearing my father's confusion with gender pronouns, for the nth time since my transition, had made me wonder whom of my parents had the greater problems dealing with the situation.

I decided that sitting down for the next hour or so, while the others were in the main university hall listening to the introduction to the visit, was going to be a bit boring. I slipped off my sandals and walked towards the water.

As I took my time, pressing one foot after another into the warm sand, I thought back to Thursday night when my Dad had heard me screaming down the phone at my stalker. I had made a feeble excuse of being annoyed with something not working properly on my mobile in response to his enquiry.

He had looked at me doubtfully before responding," You're sure there's nothing wrong, son?"

"Yes, Dad, everything's fine," I had replied.

"OK Celyn, goodnight then," he had said before leaving my room.

I had looked at myself in my mirror before undressing. I had been puzzled by his use of the term 'son' and wondered how he could still me as male in my pink low cut dress, push up bra showing my boobs and makeup.

The next day in school had gone fine and I was beginning to enjoy the routine of seeing my friends daily and doing the school work. The only difficulties had been using the loo, luckily still not completely vandalised, and having to give a medical note to the games teachers to get out of sport. I knew that my faux penis would not pass any close scrutiny so there was no way I could use the male changing room. I had also received an unexpectedly apologetic message from my stalker. I opened my phone to reread it.

"Celyn, I am really sorry for upsetting you. I want to help. Don't worry I won't tell anyone your secret."

"Who are you?" I had replied but there had been no response so far.

I put my phone back in my pocket and picked up a stone to threw into the water, it flew a satisfying distance before splashing in the sea.

I decided that I quite liked my Father still seeing some maleness in me even when I was dressed as a girl. It seemed that calling myself a 'boy trapped in a girl's body' was an accurate description of how I felt sometimes.

I picked up another stone and threw it harder as I remembered with a little anger the consultant saying that my transition was irreversible. There was no way that I could ever be given male hormones as it would certainly lead to a recurrence of my cancer.

I noticed a flat stone and picked it up. There was something about it that resembled a jigsaw piece. My mind flashed to my friend Heulwen, from the hospice. I had promised her, before she died, I would make the best of the rest of my life even if it meant being a girl.

I practiced my throw a few times and then crouching down a little I prepared to launch my pebble.

"Hope you're watching Heulwen, let me show you even girls can skim stones." I said quietly to myself before executing my throw parallel to the ground.

I cursed when my first attempt was unsuccessful as my throwing arm's movement was interrupted by my padded bra, causing me to release my projectile to arc up rather than across the water and giving me a sharp pain as my breast tissue was compressed rapidly.

I reached with my other hand to gently massage my sensitive boob as I searched for another flat stone. After a few seconds I found another suitable one. I spent a little while practising a slightly altered stance to accommodate my protruding chest. Once I was sure of my throwing action I gave it another go.

The smack of the impact some metres in the water was a satisfying sound and was followed by ten others of decreasing volume as my stone successfully skimmed across the surface.

I was jubilant. I rarely achieved such a positive result. I looked around for another suitable projectile.

I was suddenly aware that I had company.

"Hey not bad for a girl!" said a male voice.

I turned to see a boy of about my own age, if slightly taller, smiling at me.

"What do you mean not bad for girl?" I responded, slightly irritated by the comment," I'd say not bad for anyone."

"Hey, I was only joking," he responded," but I bet I can do better."

"OK, then, what about best of three?" I suggested.

"You're on, do you want to go first?" he asked.

"No, it's your go now, I've already had my first go and you have to beat eleven bounces," I responded a little smugly.

He laughed at my tactics and picked up a stone to try his luck.

"What's your name? I'm Alfonso," he said as he practised his throw.

"That's an unusual name, I'm Celyn," I replied.

"Yes, I'm from Spain, my Dad works in the university," he explained before launching his first stone.

It hit the water and we started counting in unison, "two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight......"

"I win! Loser goes first, by the way what does the winner get?" I asked.

"Dunno," he responded as he looked around for another stone," what about loser buys the ice-creams?"

"You're on," I replied as I also sought a suitable missile.

We threw for a second time and this time his nine bounces beat my six as I threw too hard without the right rhythm.. I took a little more care in finding a suitable stone for my final throw. I measured it carefully and launched it with as smooth an action as possible.

It bounced across the surface of the water a satisfying ten times.

Alfonso arched back and threw his stone with a rapid jerk of his arm that was strength and gracefulness combined. There was something peculiarly attractive about how he moved his body. I shook my head to banish these strange alien thoughts and concentrated on the missile.

It easily made eight little splashes and it looked like he was going to be an easy winner. Then it was caught in a little wave, which robbed it of most of its momentum, and plopped into the water.

"I wi...oh no it's a draw," I said as his stone seemed to grasp a little extra energy from somewhere and jump a few centimetres out of the water for a final, despairing splash.

"No, I won," responded Alfonso, laughing," I got more bounces than you overall."

"Yes, but I got the highest score," I argued, smiling at his infectious good humour," so I won."

"OK, let's call it evens then," he said," anyway I'll get the ice-creams."

"Why?" I asked, a bit puzzled by this turn of events," we should buy our own, it's a draw."

"No, it's OK, I'm a boy, I should do it," he stated before walking over to the nearby kiosk.

I stood and watched him pass his money over to the vendor and wondered at the strangeness of the experience. If Alsonso had seen me as a boy then he wouldn't have considered such an action. It was the first time a boy had responded to me in such a way and it was weird in its newness.

We sat on some rocks near the water as we enjoyed our desserts. I suddenly noticed that he had stopped eating his and was looking at me.

"You're very pretty, Celyn," he said in a strange voice," do you have a boyfriend?"

I stopped licking my ice-cream in shock and stared at my companion.

"What did you say?" I asked, feeling bewildered.

"I wondered whether you had a boyfriend," he repeated," you do don't you?"

"Nope and am not interested," I said with conviction.

"Oh, I'm surprised," he said.

There was silence between us after that conversation. We had soon finished and washed our hands in a small rock-pool. I looked at my watch and realised that my family would be returning soon and I would have to join them for the trip around the campus.

"Are you a lesbian?" Alfonso suddenly asked.

"What!" I exclaimed.

"Well you said that you didn't like boys so I wondered if you preferred girls," he explained.

Fortunately I was saved further bizarre conversations with strange boys with the arrival of my family. I thanked Alfonso for the ice-cream and bade him farewell.

As I walked across the beach to where Mum, Dad and Taran were standing, I pondered the advantages and disadvantages of being a girl in the company of a boy. On the one hand I got bought something nice on the other I had to endure embarrassing questions about my sexuality.

As I reached my family I absent-mindedly scratched where the band of my bra had been irritating me.

"Something wrong Celyn?" asked my Mother.

"Nothing really just my bra is a little uncomfortable and........" I started to explain and then wished I had kept quiet about my mild discomfort.

Her eyes lit up and a strange expression appeared on her face.

"No problem, dear, I saw a nice lingerie shop round the corner," she said triumphantly," lets go and get you some nice underwear."

As I followed my Mother I wondered if walking the plank felt worse.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.08

I looked up at my games teacher and his expression told me that he had seen me take part in the cricket game.   I knew I was in so much deep doodly doo-dah.   The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.09 - Balls! by Alys

---

Vol. 2.09
 

"Aren't you boiling in that blazer?" asked Ceri lying sitting next to me in the sun, midst a mixed group of year 10 pupils*, enjoying the hot weather of our lunchtime school break.

"No, I'm fine," I lied, feeling quite uncomfortable in my extra layers," it's quite cool here in the shade."

"Suit yourself," he responded," but I don't know why you're under that tree, it's lovely here."

"Remember I got badly sun-burnt at half-term down in Tenby, I'm trying to avoid that again," I replied.

Ceri nodded his head an returned his attention to the furious game of cricket going on in the middle of the school field. The year 12 team were giving my team, year 10, a torrid time as their greater strength and experience enabled them to score quickly.

As a previous stalwart I had received a number of invitations to play but had declined. I had already got out of games and PE with a note from Doctor Thomas excusing me on the basis of a vague reference to 'post-operative trauma'. The last thing I wanted was to be observed by the games department taking part in a regular game showing no obvious infirmity. Another consideration was my lack of confidence in my tight T-shirt and loose shirt concealing the recent changes in my body shape.

There were cheers from the group of year 12 pupils as one of their batsmen hit the ball almost out of the field in response to a poor piece of bowling.

"Harri's hopeless," groaned Ceri, " I don't understand why you're not playing Celyn, you know you're much better."

"I'm not supposed," I replied," you know that, Doctor's orders."

"You look OK to me, you know," countered my fellow spectator.

"Celyn why don't you go and bowl?" shouted Sioned from a few metres away," we're going to get slaughtered otherwise."

I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders in a negative response even while sharing the frustration of my companions at the poor performance of our team.

There was a sudden loud 'smack!' as a hard hit ball struck one of our players in his leg. There was a collective sigh as the injured boy dropped to the ground in obvious great pain. He was immediately surrounded by a concerned group of fellow players. Soon he was being half carried off the field in the direction of the gym in the company of Mr Jones.

The remainder of the year 10 pupils on the field held a quick conference to decide on a replacement for their stricken team-mate. Siá´n, in his role as captain, looked around the crowd for someone who could be enlisted into the game. I watched as he scanned the group of supporters while he discussed the various merits of the pupils available. To my surprise his gaze stopped at me. There was a quick conversation and then Siá´n, accompanied by Harri and Gethyn, quickly walked over to where I was sheltering.

"Hey Celyn can you help us out?" asked Siá´n.

"Sorry, you know I can't play," I responded, shaking my head.

"Come on Cel, you only need to do a bit a fielding," countered Harri.

"Just stand here in the deep," said Siá´n," you might not have to do anything at all, but we need to make up the numbers."

I stood there for a few seconds while I considered whether fielding in a distant position was compatible with my stated inability to do any organised sports.

In the meantime others in my group of supporters had joined in with the encouragement and soon there seemed to be no alternative to taking part. I nodded my assent, to some muffled cheers in the near vicinity, gingerly took off my blazer and joined the game, standing as far from the action as possible.

The game resumed and soon, almost despite myself, I became engrossed in the tense struggle. I looked intently at the powerful year 12 batsmen laying into our bowling. I could see that they were getting a bit over-confident in their ability to almost score at will and wondered how I might be able to do something to undermine their self-belief.

Suddenly an opportunity arose, a ball was hit in my direction and the two batting players set off at a leisurely jog anticipating two easy runs. Instead of waiting for the ball to reach me I sprinted forward to pick it up and throw it in one fluid action. The ball flew in a low arc and broke the wicket. The defeated batsman stopped running and after staring at the shattered stumps in astonishment turned and walked away to greet his replacement.

There was the sound of applause and some cheering from the ranks of the year 10s.

"Great throw Celyn!" shouted Ceri from the crowd.

I walked over to receive the congratulations of the rest of the team and, after that had died down, then sought out Siá´n and had a quick chat with him. He nodded his head in agreement with my suggestion and then I returned to my position on the field.

A few minutes later an opportunity arose for Siá´n to put the plan into operation. He was bowling against the other member of year 12 who had been so successful against us for the last quarter of an hour. He threw up an easy looking ball. The batsman prepared for a mighty strike as the small red sphere slowly flew towards him. At the very last second the ball hit the ground and spun crazily towards the rapidly moving bat. As a result the cricket ball went straight up into the air falling down towards where I was standing.

I stood and prepared myself for a difficult catch but in a fraction of a second realised that the ball wasn't going to reach me. I quickly started running towards where I had anticipated the red sphere's descent to reach. As I neared the place where I thought I would be able to take the catch I realised I wasn't going to make it. I threw myself forward and, just before the ball hit the ground, I was able to get a hand in the way.

The loud slap of hardened leather on my hand was almost as bad a sound as it was a painful feeling.

This time the applause and the cheering of my year group was at a much higher level.

"Great catch Celyn, can't see much sign of post-operative trauma in the way you made up the ground though," said a familiar voice.

I looked up at my games teacher and his expression told me that he had seen me take part in the cricket game. I knew I was in so much deep doodly doo-dah.

"Celyn, I want you in the lesson tomorrow with your kit and no excuses!" insisted Mr Jones, with a strong note of exasperation in his voice.

▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼▼
 

Later on, after school was finished, I sat in my room feeling very depressed. I couldn't see anyway out of an impossible situation. How could I refuse to take part in the games lesson after the way Mr Jones had seen me taking part in the lunchtime game. On the other hand any games lesson would be full of potential pitfalls.

The worst of them having to get undressed and dressed in the vicinity of the boys in the male dressing room. How long before one of them noticed my different body shape and drew the obvious conclusion. I knew I was far from the only pupil who liked watching old episodes of Jerry Springer on cable.

I felt the vibration of my phone in my pocket announcing the arrival of a message. I quickly took it out and read it.

"r u ok?" was the message.

I looked at the name identity and noticed to my surprise it was my stalker. It had been over a week since he or she had last communicated with me, which I found to be an omission that was easy to be happy about.

I replied in a non-committedly way," not 2 bad and u?"

"u look upset 2day, what's up?" came a rapid response.

"got 2 do games 2morrow," I typed.

"why?" asked my stalker.

"Jones saw me play criket, I supposed 2 B unfit," I sent.

"Oops, tricky" was the quick reply.

I waited to see if there was any other comments from my mysterious text sender. After a minute or two of inactivity I put my phone down and busied myself with putting my school clothes either in my washing basket or in my wardrobe before changing into a comfortable loose t-shirt and shorts. There was a sudden vibration from my phone. It was a message from Siá´n.

"Great play today, u coming to club on Sat?"

I carefully considered the appropriate reply to my friend's suggestion of rejoining the local cricket club and finally typed," maybe, c how I feel."

Another vibration indicated a further message but it wasn't from Siá´n.

"Tell them u've Klinefelter," suggested my stalker.

"?" I responded, puzzled by the reference.

"google it," came the explanation.

I turned on my laptop and spent the next fifteen minutes or so investigating the syndrome. It seemed like a possible temporary solution to my problems. It would have enough of an explanation for my perceived bodily changes without hinting at the complete nature of my gender alteration. It would give me an excuse not to change in the changing room.

There was one thing that worried me though. The extent of knowledge of my stalker about my condition.

"good idea, how u know so much bout me?" I sent.

There was a delay before there was a enigmatic reply," can't say in text."

I was a little irritated at the reticence my stalker to relieve his or her source of information even though he or she had claimed to want to help.

"Then meet me to tell me then!" I sent angrily.

There was another delay before the phone vibrated again.

"Yes, but one condition," was the reply.

"What's that?" I asked, wondering at the meaning behind such a phrase.

"You come as a girl," was the completely unexpected reply.

"Why?" I asked, failing to think of a possible reason for such request.

"For my security," was the final puzzling explanation.

*year 10 UK = 9th Grade USA

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.09

"Not bad make-up but I think I need to touch up your eye-liner, have a seat and let me finish you off," she replied," and you need to pull the zip of the top down a bit."       "But I feel so exposed like this, Taran," I said after my sister had revealed a little of my boobs," do I have to?"       "It's a precaution, I explained yesterday," she replied," in case we meet any of my friends from school today who knows you as a boy." The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.10 - Make Up! by Alys

---

Vol. 2.10
 

I applied a last layer of lipgloss and then studied my makeup in the desk mirror. I hoped my sister would be satisfied with my latest attempt. She had insisted on a casual style for our trip.

"You almost ready Celyn?" Taran called from her adjacent room.

"Yep, be there in a minute or two," I yelled back as I took one glance in the mirror quickly deciding that my face looked as good as I could make it. I found putting on make up to be such a chore. I hoped when I went full-time next year I would be able to avoid wearing it too often.

I got up from my chair in front of the desk, slipping off my thin dressing gown and hanging it up in my wardrobe. I took out the plain white sloggi bra and pants set and was about to put them on when my sister, as if reading my mind shouted out," Celyn, remember to wear your matching push up!"

I smiled wryly at the demise of my plan of being ready at the last minute and avoiding having to wear the sexy underwear. I took out the pale blue bra and panties and put them on, taking a little time to get the padding as comfortable as possible.

Then I walked over to my bed and put on my blue Nike short-sleeved hoodie and matching skirt, followed by my socks and trainers. I really liked the feel of the soft terry material and the the sporty look of the outfit. I had been a little apprehensive about not wearing a t-shirt underneath the top but had been persuaded by my sister's insistence on us wearing similar clothes, even if her preferred colour was, surprisingly, pink.

"What do you think?" I asked Taran as I walked into her room a few seconds later.

"Not bad make-up but I think I need to touch up your eye-liner, have a seat and let me finish you off," she replied," and you need to pull the zip of the top down a bit."

"But I feel so exposed like this, Taran," I said after my sister had revealed a little of my boobs," do I have to?"

"It's a precaution, I explained yesterday," she replied," in case we meet any of my friends from school today who knows you as a boy."

"Why should we meet them? I thought you said you weren't going to meet your friends to celebrate until tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah but maybe some of them will get down to the bay early and we may bump into them, but that's not likely for a few hours because in case you hadn't noticed it's morning now. EARLY MORNING, Celyn. I don't know how you persuaded me to get up at eight o'clock the day after finishing my A'levels*," she complained good heartedly as she finished the final adjustments to my make-up.

"Cos you love me?" I suggested.

"Nope don't think that's it, sis," she responded.

"You don't want me to be in danger when I meet Mr or Ms Stalker?" I asked.

"Nope," she replied," but on the other hand with you out of the way I get more attention at home."

"You'd get so many more chores though," was my riposte as I stood up, looked in my sister's full length mirror and studied the change in my appearance after my sister's expert improvements," come on, spill, what's your real reason for coming with me this morning then?"

"Mum made me an offer I couldn't refuse to take you, on what she thinks is our shopping trip," Taran replied as she stood behind me giving my hair a final brush.

"What?"

She moved closer and whispered in my right ear," a hundred quid today and a lift home tonight."

I poked my tongue out at her in the mirror and then went back to my room to collect my things.

I stood for a moment, in hesitation, looking at my little pink phone and my little girly shoulder bag. It was really going to make everything about me shout 'girl' today. "In for a penny......," I muttered to myself and quickly picked up my accessories for the day.

"That looks nice," commented my Mother as Taran and I walked towards the car a few minutes later," you could almost be two sisters with those matching outfits"

We both stopped in our tracks and Taran gave our Mother a strange look before responding," Mum, we are sisters NOW!"

"Oh yes, of course, sorry," she responded in a fluster," come on then or I won't find anywhere to park in Caerdydd."

********

Almost an hour later, after a slow crawl into the city, we were jumping out of the car as Mum pulled briefly into a bus-stop opposite the Millennium centre in the bay area.

"Meet you here in three hours girls," she yelled before pulling out just in time to avoid the ire of a bus-driver wanting to drop off his passengers.

We crossed the road and walked towards the piazza outside the dramatic looking centre for arts and opera.

"Well Taran," I said after we had stopped by the central fountain and touched the shining metal surface that the water was running down, " what do we do for two hours until I meet my fan?"

"Dunno, there's not many good shops here and we don't have enough time to get up to the city centre and back," she replied.

"I suppose we could just wander round a bit," I suggested.

"Yeah, what time did you say you were meeting again?" Taran asked.

"Eleven thirty." I answered.

"Which café?" She asked.

"The middle one, we should be in time for the lunchtime music, you know the recital," I replied.

"OK, why don't we wander down to the Norwegian church and have a look at the exhibition there," she suggested," and I know I can show you the strangest restaurant in the whole area."

"What's so unusual about it," I asked.

"You'll see," she responded mysteriously, before turning away and walking in the direction of the National Assembly and the path that led to the Scandinavian arts centre.

It was already a warm day and I was glad my skirt and top were made of fairly thin material. At the same time there were the unfamiliar feelings as I walked. The stretch of my skirt against my thighs and the slight tug of my bra straps, at every stride, were constant reminders of the change in gender I would one day have to embrace on a continuous basis.

I looked around at the well populated concourse of fellow Saturday morning visitors to the premiere bay leisure development in South Wales. Hundreds of people of all shapes, sizes, ages and nationalities milled around. Suddenly I thought I recognised a face. I stopped and grabbed Taran's arm.

"Look sis," I said, urgently.

"What?" she responded trying to make up what had caught my attention.

I pointed towards a small group of people gathered around a smaller group who appeared to be filming something.

"Over there, near the tunnel, can you see?" I said.

"What, oh yes, that crowd, what is it?" she asked.

"Do you know who I think it is?" I said.

"It's not is it?" she responded.

"I think it might be." I said," let's go and see."

We walked quickly over to join the audience, about a hundred metres away. As we neared we noticed that there was a small circle of crash barriers around the film crew.

"Oh, yes it is him and her too," exclaimed Taran.

"Yes and doesn't he look even more cool in real life," I said, as we stood and watched John and Eve from Torchwood** TV serial going through a scene.

"Yep," said Taran," and I bet there's lots of girls who were disappointed when he got married to his boyfriend."

I nodded my head in assent and then there was a call for everyone to be quiet as the short scene was acted out and filmed.

We watched in rapt attention for quite a while as the filming was repeated a number of times and then the crew packed up while the stars signed autographs for their fans.

I turned away to resume our stroll towards the Norwegian church and was a little surprised when Taran touched me on the shoulder and gestured me to wait.

"One minute Celyn, I want to see if I can get Eve to sign this," she said before taking out her address book and making her way towards where the two actors were standing.

I stood and watched with interest as my sister edged forward to meet her heroine. Luckily for her most of the attention from the crowd was towards John Barrowman and so she succeeded in accomplishing her mission quickly.

"Look Celyn," she said, holding out the page. I looked at the greeting.

'Dymuniadau gorau i Taran oddi wrth Eve xx' ***

"That's sweet," I commented," I didn't know you were such a fan."

"Oh yes, I think she is so h..........nice," my sister responded with a slightly dreamy look in her eyes.

********

An hour later we were making our way back towards the Millennium Centre. It was only a few minutes before our allotted meeting time and I was feeling very nervous. I was also feeling a little tired after walking around for almost two hours in my brand new girly trainers. I was beginning to really want to revert back to boy mode and my well worn, comfortable casual clothes.

The strange cafe had turned out to be a small trawler, permanently moored by a dock and now taken over by an evangelical church group for their services, a book shop and a small cafe which had tables and chairs bolted to the steeply sloping deck. The various little posters about fishing and Christianity had seemed pretty lame to my atheist sensibilities but the ice-cold strawberry milkshake had been worth suffering the gentle proselytising.

I felt my phone rumble inside my bag. I flicked it open. I looked at the message and my stomach churned as I recognised the number.

'hi celyn be there in 10'

'ok' I replied

"Is it stalker?" asked Taran.

I nodded, we hurried on in silence.

The string quartet were just starting up their recital as we took separate seats a little away from each other in the agreed meeting place.

As the pleasant, peaceful strains of Mozart's String Quartet No. 1 echoed around the concourse of the centre my mind wandered a bit. My sister showing an interest in Eve Myles was quite a surprise. Although she didn't have a boyfriend at the moment, she had been out with a number of different boys since she had been in the sixth form. I wondered if it meant anything.

A sudden movement to my left caught my attention.

I looked up to see Taran holding her hand to her mouth in astonishment as she looked over my shoulder.

"Hello Celyn, I'm glad you came," said an all too familiar voice.

I turned round to see the face of my stalker.

* Advanced Levels - academic exams at around 18
**UK TV Sci Fi series set in Cardiff www.bbc.co.uk/torchwood
*** Best wishes to Taran from Eve

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.10

"You must be effing mad!," I said harshly to Taran when we had reached the safety of the female loos," they're bound to find out who I am." "You'll be fine, Alun's positively drooling all over you, just keep your shoulders back and your boobs out," she said, laughing. "You are just so dead!," I hissed at her, on our way out, before resuming my painted smile as we walked back towards our two companions. The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.11 - Skirts! by Alys

---

Vol. 2.11
 

"I'll see you soon, Celyn, take care." she said and got up, carefully pushing the chair back under the table.

I turned to watch her make her elegant way out of the crowded cafe and through the concourse of the Millennium Centre*. She opened the door, looked back and, seeing my gaze, gave me a little wave before leaving and almost immediately disappearing into the throng of humanity milling around the bay area of the city.

I sat stunned by the contents of the conversation, just concluded. My reverie was interrupted by the familiar voice of my sister

"I can't believe it was her, what did she say?" said Taran as she sat down in the newly vacated seat.

I sat and stared at my sister, momentarily at a loss for words.

"Come on, tell me," said my sister," you were talking for ages, she must have told you something interesting."

"You won't believe it," I replied.

"I already don't believe it was her, why was she stalking you?" she asked.

"I would never have thought so in a million years," I responded.

"Thought what, Celyn? You're talking riddles." said my sister, beginning to sound a little annoyed with my lack of an explanation.

"I suppose lots of people don't look like one, well for that matter, how does one look?" I mused, still not completely focused on my sister's impatience," after all I'm one and I'm not sure if I look like one."

"CELYN!" hissed my sister as loud as she could without attracting too much attention to herself," WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

I raised my head to look directly at Taran and answered with deliberate emphasis on each word," she's a transsexual."

My sister jerked back in her chair at the shock of the revelation and then opened her mouth to say something. It took her a few attempts of goldfish like gulping before she could recover her coherence.

"You mean like you?" she asked simply.

"Yep in a way," I replied," she had a sex change too, but unlike me it was her choice."

"But, how? When? I'd never have guessed and she taught me in year 8 as well and I never noticed her looking different, you know, like a man, before," Taran responded in a rather confused manner.

"You are such a div sometimes," I said to my rather befuddled sibling," obviously she had it a LONG TIME before she started working in our school."

My sister poked her tongue out at me, and then responded in the only way possible with her best 'Lauren' accent," Am I bovvered? Does my face look bovvered?**."

We both collapsed in laughter and it was few minutes before we could recover our senses to try and continue the conversation.

Suddenly, before I could say another word, Taran grabbed my arm," come on, let's go, Mum's back in thirty minutes and I still have to get you some clothes,"

"Oh yes, I suppose she's going to smell a big rat otherwise, but where?" I asked, before I got up and followed her out of the Millennium Centre.

"Um, there's not a lot of choice here but I think I saw a little shop round the corner, come on follow me," said my sister before leading us through one of the side streets that led off the main area of Cardiff Bay.

"I can't go in there," I said as I stared with horror at the flimsy, much too sexy clothes featured in the window.

Taran took hold of my arm.

"Come on Celyn, welcome to one of the advantages of girlhood, wearing beautiful clothes," she said.

"Do we have to?" I pleaded," I'm quite happy to let Mum or you buy my stuff."

"Now you're sounding like a boy, sorry you really have to learn how to do this," she said before guiding me through the door for my first experience of girl clothes shopping.

@@@@@@@@@@
     
Almost thirty minutes later we were making our way as quickly as we could towards our rendezvous point. Well at least as fast as anyone could walk on two inch heels wearing a tight leather mini skirt. In the end I had succumbed to the expert sales technique of the shop assistant, ably reinforced by Taran's obvious desire to see me looking as sexy as possible.
     
"I must be mad, agreeing to wear this," I said, as I half walked, half hobbled along the street, while holding the shop plastic bag, containing my pevious outfit, in front of me to conceal as much of my skin as possible, not covered by the small black stretchy crop top.
     
"You look fantastic," she replied, smiling," it's a shame there wasn't more time to give you a proper makeover."

"Small mercies," I muttered to myself and concentrated on reaching the haven of the bus-stop and our escape from my humiliation as soon as possible.

There was a loud beep as Taran received a text. She took her phone out of her bag and read the message. I carried on walking, knowing that she would easily be able to catch me up.

"Wait Celyn!" she shouted, before hurrying towards me.

I stopped in my tracks and turned towards her.

" What is it Taran?" I asked.

"It's Mum," she responded, holding up the phone," she can't make it until two, she has to sort something out for Dad at work."

"Damn, what are we going to do for an hour and a half," I asked.

Taran thought for a moment and then suggested," we could have some lunch?"

"OK," I said.

"Oh, yes and another thing we could do," she said, looking a little sly.

"And what's that sis?" I asked, wondering what other unpleasant experiences she might have up her sleeve.

She looked down at my shoes.

"You've got plenty of time to practice walking in your new shoes," she explained.

"NO WAY!," I said, angrily," the first thing I'm doing is to changing back to my other stuff, I'm not wandering around Cardiff looking as exposed as this."

@@@@@@@@@@
     
Ten minutes later my sister had finished using all her powers of persuasion to convince me of the need to accept every possible opportunity to make up on the fifteen years being a girl I hadn't had.

We started towards the vegetarian restaurant in the quieter of the corner of the Millennium Centre. This time our progress was much more measured and by the time we had traversed the concourse I was finding the heels a little easier to walk in.

We made our way to the counter and looked at the appetising but expensive items on sale. I was just about to decide between Falafel and salad or a roasted vegetable wrap when I heard a familiar voice behind me. Taran recognised it at the same time and turned.

"Hey Harri!" she said and gave her fellow member of the upper sixth, the only out gay boy in school, a big hug.

"Hey Taran," responded the tall, extremely un-camp looking fellow pupil, " you're down here early the party's not till tonight, oh you know my brother Alun, of course."

"Hi Alun," said Taran to Harri's tall, younger brother, who was a year older than me and definitely not gay from the stories that Taran had sometimes told me.

"Hi Taran," responded Alun, pleasantly, while quickly letting his eyes wander over Taran's body and smiling as if in appreciation of her attractiveness.

I was suddenly aware I was the centre of attention of the three sixth formers.

"Oh, Harri and Alun, this is my si...... cousin.............Eifiona," she said by way of hurried introduction," I'm showing her round the bay, she's staying the weekend."

"Nice to meet you Eifiona," said Harri without much interest before turning back to continue his gossip with my sister while Alun's greeting was rather warmer.

Soon we had bought our food and were sitting down on the sofas in the corner around two low tables. Unfortunately for me, before I could ensure I was under Taran's protection for the duration of the meal, Harri quickly secured the seat next to my sister.

"You know what Pricey said to me yesterday?" he asked her.

"What?" she replied.

I quickly tuned myself out of their chat about their mutual friends, who were mostly just names to me apart from the few who were in the sports teams who trained with me sometimes. I concentrated on eating my Falafel and salad while trying to avoid sitting too close to Alun.

"So are you enjoying your trip to the Bay?" he asked after had turned a little towards me.

I was aware of his gaze on my exposed enhanced breasts and raised my plate to cover them with my arm. The only good thing about being so exposed, I thought to myself, was I was highly unlikely to be recognised as my male alter-ego.

"It's very nice," I responded as politely and as curtly as possible.

"Yes it is, especially on a sunny day like to today," he commented.

I didn't respond and hoped the conversation would die a quick death.

After a few minutes silent eating he looked at me again.

"So where are you from, Eifiona?" he asked.

"Pontypridd," I responded tersely.

"What school?" he persisted in his questioning.

I realised I'd better engage in conversation otherwise I would be getting the third degree and I knew little enough about my cousin to continue a successful deception for long. I turned towards him, smiled and asked," do you go to the same school as Taran?"

"Yes, but in a year below her," he replied, returning my smile.

For the next fifteen minutes I kept the conversation on a topic I knew plenty about and could ask intelligent sounding questions on. Alun soon warmed towards me and I found him to be pleasant enough company. Although I almost choked on my food when he described the me he knew in school as, "Celyn, Taran's brother, the wonderful football player."

The meal came to an end and to my disappointment Taran suggested Harri and Alun should join us while we wandered around the bay again waiting for our Mum.

"You must be effing mad!," I said harshly to Taran when we had reached the safety of the female loos," they're bound to find out who I am."

"You'll be fine, Alun's positively drooling all over you, just keep your shoulders back and your boobs out," she said, laughing.

"You are just so dead!," I hissed at her, on our way out, before resuming my painted smile as we walked back towards our two companions.

@@@@@@@@@@
     
An hour and a half later as we finally reached our pick-up point I felt completely and utterly exhausted, both physically and mentally. We had decided, in the end, to go to the ten pin bowling alley. At least that had given me some temporary relief from the heels but trying to bowl in a tight skirt and skimpy top was altogether a strange experience.
     
At least the noise of the place had meant much further conversation hadn't been possible.
     

At last my Mother's rescue vehicle pulled into the bus-stop.

Taran and I bade our farewells to the brothers and made our way towards the car.

I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder, I turned to see Alun's hand resting lightly there, I felt a strange tingle.

"Eifiona this has been fun today," he said a little hesitantly," I was sort of wondering if you're free later on?"

I stared at him and hoped that the Rift*** would open then and there and swallow me up.

@@@@@@@@@@
     
* http://www.wmc.org.uk/index.cfm?alias=aboutus
** http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Catherine_Tate_Show#Catchph...
*** http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cardiff_Rift

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.11

"Oh god Celyn I was going to tell you but I didn't know how to," she said, speaking rapidly," please don't hate me for this." "For what?" I asked, astonished by her reaction, my mind racing over all the possible bad people my sister could be anticipating having a relationship with. I hoped her potential paramour wasn't a drug dealer, axe murderer or terrorist. I supposed rugby player might be OK as long as he could get free tickets for the 'Internationals'.* "It's Grace," she said in response. I looked at her for a few seconds, nonplussed. Finally all the cogs in my brain finally engaged and I responded," Grace as in a Grace the girl?!" The Price To Pay - Vol.2.12 - Dresses! by Alys

---

Vol. 2.12
 

"CATCH!" was the ragged shout from my fellow players as the last batsman miscued his shot.

"Awwwwwwwww!" I screamed as the fast moving hard cricket ball slipped through my hands and slammed into my concealed left breast.

I fell to the ground as the sharp pain radiated rapidly through my upper body but somehow still had the presence of mind to cling on to the vital catch. I held it up in triumph even as I grimaced with the agony of the impact on such a sensitive part of my anatomy.

"Well done Celyn!" shouted Mr Jones, from his position as umpire where he was signalling the end of the innings and the victory of my team," are you OK?"

"Yes sir," I yelled back as I followed the rest of the class back to the changing rooms. I quickly picked up my school bags and made my way towards the school gates with a couple of my fellow pupils who were taking advantage of the new rule about not having to change back to school uniform at the end of the last lesson. I smiled as I thought back to the meeting of the previous Wednesday.

My Mother had been at her imperious best as she pointed out the need to protect me from the exposure of my supposed Klinefelter like condition to the rest of the class in the changing room during games lessons. She had even managed to get a supporting letter from Dr Thomas which, by being economical with the truth, managed to convey the impression of a temporary hormonal imbalance. Mr Jones, the head of games, had caved in quickly and agreed to move my sports session to the last period of the day and bring in a new rule about being able to leave school wearing games kit.

I reached the bus-stop as the school bell rang and stood there to await the arrival of my sister who had surprised me by wanting to come into school even though, now she had finished her exams, she had no need to attend. She had been evasive when I had asked her the reason muttering something about 'seeing some friends'.
     

**********************

     

"See you later Celyn," said Mrs Prys as she pulled out from the school drive onto the main road, driving her stylish blue Citroen C3 convertible.

"Bye," I responded as Taran and I waved to the head of French as she drove past us, the wind from the car movement rustling her shoulder length blond hair.

"You know what?" asked Taran who was waiting with me outside the school gate. It was a hot afternoon.

"No, I've no idea," I responded, as I took a drink from my water bottle.

"She is so elegant, she always looks so cool, I would never have guessed," my sister explained.

"Never have guessed what?" I asked, only half listening to her.

My sister gave me a little embarrassed look before replying," You know, she's like you, you know, had a sex change."

I smiled at her uncertainly and said," Yes, you're right, you'd never know from looking at her, although sometimes her voice is a little low, but unless you had some inside info you'd not think anything of it."

"I always thought her voice was really husky and sexy when she taught me in year eight and nine," Taran responded.

"Me too," I said," but there is one important way she's very different to me"

"What's that?" she asked.

"She always wanted to be a girl, Taran," I responded, then paused for a second for emphasis," BUT, I had no choice."

There was a few seconds of silence between us before my sister replied.

"Yes, sorry, I forgot," she said before taking her jacket off," god I'm boiling here where the hell is Mum?"

"I'm hotter than you under all these layers and I'm not complaining," I countered," I'm sure she'll be here soon."

At that very moment there was a beep on a horn. We both looked up to see our Mother's yellow Vauxhall Astra hatchback pulling up in front of us.

"Hey gir.........kids, get in," she yelled.

I looked around to see if any of the other pupils leaving the school had noticed my Mother's slip-up and was relieved to see there was no-one within earshot.

I sat in the back seat, behind my sister.

"How did it go Celyn," my Mother asked.

"It was fine, the coach let everyone else leave without taking their games kit off, if they wanted to, so I didn't look odd not using the changing room," I replied.

"That's a relief," my Mum said as she joined the dual carriageway going out of town," it was a good idea of yours to tell Mr Jones you had a condition like Klinefelter's Syndrome. I am so pleased he was cooperative."

"Celyn is one of his star players, Mum, so not too surprising," Taran interjected.

"Yes, Taran but it's not everyday a year timetable is altered to fit in with the needs of one pupil," Mum countered," so how did you get on yourself, what did you say you were doing?"

"Just saying goodbye to some of the teachers and meeting some friends," Taran replied a little evasively while a slightly dreamy look briefly flickered across her face.

I looked at her curiously wondering if any of her school friends were now a little more than a 'friend', then let my mind wander back over the successful training session. I hoped I would make the team. I had missed the excitement of taking part in competitive sport for the previous months.

We were quiet in the car for the next quarter of an hour in the way home as Mum concentrated on making her way through the heavier than usual Friday commuter traffic while Taran and I were lost in our own worlds.
     

**********************
     

"Enjoy the film," shouted my Mother as we walked briskly from her car onto the deserted platform at Cwmbrá¢n train station almost two hours later.

"Good timing," said Taran as she checked the train information screen hanging high over the platform, "the next train to Caerdydd is only five minutes."

"I'm glad this place is so empty in the evening, I'd hate to bump into anyone we knew with me looking like this," I said indicating the pretty pastel coloured micro-dress my sister had persuaded me to wear on the hot summer evening.

"What's wrong?" Taran countered, " I used to love wearing it when I was your age."

"Nothing wrong, except it's a dress, and there's not much of it," I replied," I feel so exposed, especially wearing a wonderbra."

"Well a girl has to make the best of what she's got," said my sister, sniggering.

I poked my tongue out at her and sat down on the bench to wait the arrival of the train.

A few minutes later we were sat in a corner of a fairly busy carriage on the small shopper's train as it made it's way to the capital city. I turned away from looking at the housing estates and fields racing past to see my sister looking at me.

"Wassup?" I asked.

"I was just looking at where I put the fake tan on to cover up your bruise from the cricket ball, I can hardly notice it now," she said as she gently prodded me.

"Ouch, don't do that" I said," it's still very sore you know."

"Sorry," Taran responded.

"So who are you going to the cinema with then?" I asked a little later, after I had began to get bored of looking at the identikit housing estates flashing past.

"One of my friends?" she replied tersely.

"Anyone I know?" I asked.

"Doubt it," she said.

"OK what's his name then Taran, you don't have to pretend, I've seen that look in your eyes before," I asked, getting more intrigued by the second.

She hesitated for a few seconds and then responded a little hesitantly," it's not a boy, Celyn."

I stared at her, feeling a little puzzled by her response," is he married then? Is that why you're using me as a cover to go out?"

"You're using me too, I'm helping you meet Mrs Prys," she responded sounding a little irritated.

I returned to my perusal of the streets of terraced houses of the outer part of Caerdydd, as we rapidly approached our destination.

After a little while I turned back towards my sister and asked her softly, "what's his name then Taran? Is he nice?"

She looked at me strangely and then to my surprise tears welled up in her eyes. She quickly wiped them away and then turned to me taking a hold of my arm.

"Oh god Celyn I was going to tell you but I didn't know how to," she said, speaking rapidly," please don't hate me for this."

"For what?" I asked, astonished by her reaction, my mind racing over all the possible bad people my sister could be anticipating having a relationship with. I hoped her potential paramour wasn't a drug dealer, axe murderer or terrorist. I supposed rugby player might be OK as long as he could get free tickets for the 'Internationals'.*

"It's Grace," she said in response.

I looked at her for a few seconds, nonplussed. Finally all the cogs in my brain finally engaged and I responded," Grace as in a Grace the girl?!"

"Yep, Grace Williams," she said a little dreamily," we got chatting at the sixth form party last Saturday and somehow we really connected and we've been on MSN all week. Celyn I've never felt this way about anyone, none of the boys I've been out made me feel like this."

"OK, well that's cool, sis," I said, still feeling a little confused by everything.

"Rydym ar fin gyrraedd Gorsaf Ganolog Caerdydd, We are now arriving at Cardiff Central Station.............." came over the train tannoy drowning out further conversation.

We jumped down onto the platform and made our way out into the main street bustling with humanity. We arranged to meet back at ten for the last train back and then with a final wave my sister walked off in the direction of the nearby multi-screen cinema where she was meeting her new girlfriend.

I walked slowly to the bus-stop where I had arranged to meet Mrs Prys.

I glanced at the middle aged couple having an intense conversation about rent money at the other end of the bench and then sat down and waited.

The time seemed to drag so slowly and I was becoming a bit nervous with some of the lewd stares I was getting from passing men. I looked at my watch again. Mrs Prys should be arriving any minute I hoped no one would come and talk to me before then.

Finally I heard some footsteps approaching from behind me, I turned my head to greet my expected companion for the evening.

"Hello Eifiona, this is a nice surprise. How are you? Why didn't you call me?" said Alun as he reached where I was standing.

I stared open mouthed at my admirer, from my previous trip to the city, completely lost for words. As I considered how to reply I noticed Mrs Prys come out of the station exit some fifty metres behind where Alun was standing and start to walk towards us.

"You OK, Eifiona?" said Alun in response to my lack of reaction to his questions.

"Um, yes, well OK, I guess," I spluttered as I considered how to escape from a rapidly approaching, potentially disastrous encounter between Mrs Prys, myself and Alun.

     
     

*The Wales Rugby team plays about eight games every year against other countries, tickets for these 'Internationals' are often like gold-dust if you are not a either a member of the rugby establishment or very wealthy.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Vol. 2.12

.........when from some part of my imagination came a simple get out of jail plan. I quickly grabbed his hands, reached forward and kissed him on the cheek. "Sorry Alun, got to go now, my auntie Cerys has arrived," I said as I gently squeezed his hands," I'll phone you later." "Oh, OK," he responded obviously a little stunned by the unexpected intimacy. The Price To Pay - 2.13 - Necklaces! by Alys

---

Vol. 2.13
 

I lent against the bus-shelter cursing the bus company for somehow having arranged for there to be no buses available, in the city centre in the busy early evening, for me to jump on to escape my unwanted admirer.

"Why didn't you respond to my text messages?" he asked.

"I didn't get any," I lied as I guiltily recalled the numerous deletions.

I looked around frantically for a way out of my predicament. In a few moments Mrs Prys would have reached us and Alun would obviously recognise her as one of his teachers and would wonder why she was meeting me. To make matters even more complex he would wonder why she would be referring to me as 'Celyn', since he knew me as 'Eifiona'. But the most dangerous implication about the encounter was him realising that the girl 'Celyn' who was standing in front of him was really the boy 'Celyn' he knew from school.

"I sent you loads," he said unhappily, " you said you'd meet up with me."

Mrs Prys was by now within shouting distance, she was smiling as she walked briskly towards where I was standing. We made eye contact and I smiled back. Alun noticed my altered gaze and was about to turn around to find out who I was looking at when from some part of my imagination came a simple get out of jail plan.

I quickly grabbed his hands, reached forward and kissed him on the cheek.

"Sorry Alun, got to go now, my auntie Cerys has arrived," I said as I gently squeezed his hands," I'll phone you later."

"Oh, OK," he responded obviously a little stunned by the unexpected intimacy.

I released his hands and walked quickly towards Mrs Prys.

" Hi auntie." I said, loud enough for Alun to hear while making a sign across my mouth for Mrs Prys not to say anything, taking her arm and guiding her away from the bus-stop.

I turned and gave my unwanted boyfriend a last friendly wave before whispering to Mrs Prys," keep walking and don't say anything I'll explain when we're in your car."

****************

"You do have some escapades," Mrs Prys said, chuckling as I finished the explanation for my strange behaviour earlier, some fifteen minutes later as she carefully eased her Citroá«n into the narrow parking space next to Chapter Arts Centre.

"By the way," she added as she took the key out of the ignition and turned towards me," you look very pretty in that dress."

"Oh, yes.. thanks," I responded.

She chuckled again, " You're not into being complimented about your looks are you Celyn?"

"Not really," I replied.

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it," Mrs Prys reassured as she touched me gently on the arm," although I'm a little surprised you're wearing something so revealing."

"It's one of Taran's cast-offs," I explained.

"You're lucky your sister has such good taste then," she said," although there is one thing missing."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Some jewellery'" she replied, before rooting around in her small leather shoulder bag, " ah just the thing."

She took out the elegant silver necklace and leaned over to carefully attach it behind my neck and then carefully positioned it so that the silver heart outline shape was resting just above my breasts. I shivered a little at the touch of the cold metal on my warm skin.

"Just right, Celyn," she said as she gave me a quick once over," shall we go in and you can try the mango and passion fruit smoothie I promised you."

"Sounds deelish'," I said as I got out of the car and followed Mrs Prys into the old primary school that now functioned as the premier arts venue in the city.

******************
"What a wonderful film," said Mrs Prys as we walked back to the car three hours later. We were both drying our eyes after the sad ending to the film, 'La Vie En Rose' a biopic of Edith Piaf.

Earlier we had sat in the cafe drinking our delicious smoothies and Mrs Prys, or Cerys as she had insisted on me calling her, had told me some of her difficult childhood and how she had been forced to leave home, get a series of dead-end jobs and live a hand to mouth existence until she had transitioned.

She had also hinted at a series of unsuccessful relationships before she had obtained her gender recognition certificate and married her latest partner two year previously.

"Did you enjoy the evening," she asked a few minutes later, as she drove the car back to the station where I was meeting my sister to catch the last train back home.

"It was really nice," I replied, " thanks so much for taking me to the arts centre."

"My pleasure," said Cerys," it's one of my favourite places in the city."

We reached the station car park and I turned to say goodnight to my evening's companion.

"Bye Mrs.....Cerys and thanks again," I said and put my hand on the door handle to get out of the car.

"I'm glad you came Celyn," she responded," and I'm truly grateful to you too."

"Oh, why's that?" I said, turning back to her in surprise.

"Because, my dear, I don't have anyone else in my life at the moment who knows who I really am. It's nice to completely relax for a change instead of always being a bit guarded about what I say," she explained.

"What about your husband?" I asked, surprised at her admission.

She laughed before replying," he's an ex-army captain and very old fashioned in his ways, I'm sure he still has problems with votes for women, but despite that he is very sweet and I love him to bits."

"That must be a bit tricky for you though?" I asked, wondering how difficult a burden it must be for Cerys to keep such a secret from her partner.

"Don't worry, I'm fine, I've been doing it for so long that I don't even think about it these days," she replied," you'd better run Celyn, you'll miss your train. I think your sister is waiting for you."

I quickly bade Cerys farewell before dashing as fast as I could into the station.

"Where have you been, Celyn?" asked Taran a little angrily," we're going to miss the train!"

We raced along the concourse and up the stairs to the platform. The middle-aged station attendant was just about to blow his whistle as we ran towards the train.

"Hurry up girls, jump on!" he shouted with a smile on his face, pausing for the few seconds we needed to open the door, near where he was standing, and get in the carriage.

We both turned and mouthed our thanks through the window before our benefactor blew his whistle and the train slowly trundled away.

"Where did you get the necklace from?" asked Taran when we had sat down and got our breath back a few minutes later.

I looked down to see I was still wearing Cerys's necklace.

"Damn!" I exclaimed," I forgot to give it back to Cerys."

"Cerys? Who's she?" asked Taran slightly perplexed.

"Oh sorry, I mean Mrs Prys," I explained," she lent it to me when we went to the art centre."

"Ok, no prob then, how was your evening?" she asked.

"It was really nice, but what about you, how was the date?" I responded.

Taran smiled broadly and her eyes lost focus for a few moments before she replied," It was really great Celyn, amazing and great and great and amazing."

"I 'spose you had a good time with Grace then?" I asked, slightly sarcastically, while I smiled at my happy sister.

"She's just amazing and great and amazing and.." she responded dreamily.

"Great too?" I ventured to complete her sentence before giving her a gently slap on the side of her head.

"Hey what was that for?" Taran asked in surprise.

"Trying to fix your brain, it's in loop mode," I replied," know any other words apart from amazing or great?"

"Great and amazing?" she responded, laughing.

I poked my tongue at her and left her to relive her evening while I went over my own pleasant time as the train left the bustling city.

*****************

"Want some toast?" I asked Taran as she walked into the kitchen the next morning just after nine, unusually late for her, still in her jimjams. I had been up and dressed in 'boy mode' for over an hour and was just stacking the dishwasher before cycling over to see Siá´n.

"Please," she said and sat down at the table. She still had the same dreamy look she had the previous evening.

I put two pieces of bread in the toaster while I started making myself a packed lunch.

"You ok?" I asked my silent sister.

"I dreamt about her last night?" she responded enigmatically.

"Grace?" I ventured.

"I'm in love Celyn, and Grace said she feels the same I've never felt this way before about anyone," she responded before returning to wonderland.

A couple of minutes later the pop of the toaster interrupted Taran's daydream and she was forced to beam down to earth to manage the mechanics of buttering.

"Celyn, I'm going to tell Mum," said Taran, abruptly after she had finished her first piece of toast.

I turned to look at her and noticed a determined look on her face. I attempted to dissuade her from a potentially risky action," but Taran you can't tell Mum, please not yet, please you know....."

"What can't Taran tell me Celyn?" said our Mother as she walked into the kitchen from her office, obviously having caught the end of the conversation.

"Nothing," I mumbled and turned back to my sandwich preparation.

"I hope it's nothing," she responded before getting the coffee jar out," By the way Taran you look happy this morning."

"Yes I am really happy, Mum," Taran responded.

"Any reason why?" asked our Mum.

"I've found my soul-mate Mum," explained my sister.

"Oh really who's the lucky boy?" Mum asked as she poured the water from the kettle into her cup before sitting down at the table opposite her elder daughter and looking at her. She was rather surprised by the response to her question.

"It's a lucky girl, Mum," said Taran, simply.

There was sudden silence and it felt like the temperature of the room had suddenly dropped fifty degrees.

"I'm not sure I understand, Taran" said our Mother with an icy tone in her voice.

"Taran shall we go and try on your new clothes and talk to Mum later?" I interjected, hoping to avoid the confrontation

"No, you're staying both here and Taran is going to explain what she means by that last remark," commanded our angry parent, before turning to face my sister directly.

"So tell me Taran, how come your soul-mate is a girl?" she asked.

"I've got a girlfriend Mum, I'm a lesbian," answered my sister, speaking rapidly and avoiding our Mother's gaze.

There was a very long silence and Mum looked like she was about to explode.

After what must have been a few seconds but seemed like minutes she shouted," How dare you!"

"How dare you bring more shame on our family!" she continued.

Taran looked at Mum and suddenly the expression of being completed deflated at the instant rejection, tears began to flow freely down her cheeks.

"Isn't it bad enough that your brother is a transsexual?" stated Mum.

I stared at her in horror and soon my sniffles had joined Taran's as the only sound in the kitchen.

I held my sister as we both sobbed, both feeling the shock of such an unexpected repudiation. Mum finished making her coffee and walked back to the study.

***************************

"How could she say such things?" asked Taran as we spooned on her bed some fifteen minutes later. She absent-mindedly played with my hair which I had let out of the boyish ponytail, all ideas of a day out with Siá´n long abandoned

"Dunno, thought they were OK about what happened to me, not as if it's my fault," I replied.

"What's the big deal for them if I'm gay anyway?" she commented.

My reply was interrupted by a gentle knock on the bedroom door.

"Can I come in?" asked Mum.

"Go away, we hate you!" shouted Taran.

"Please girls, I'm sorry for what I said earlier, please let me in," Mum pleaded.

I turned to look at Taran, she shrugged her shoulders in disinterest. I got up and unlocked the door. Our Mother walked in and sat down facing us on the armchair. It was obvious she had been crying too.

There was silence for a little while as we waited for her to speak, she seemed to be gathering her thoughts as she looked at us, her gaze moving from one tear streaked face to the other and back again.

"Taran, Celyn, please forgive me for what I said earlier," she began, speaking hesitantly, " please understand that this is all so difficult for me, well for both of us, your father and I, but I shouldn't have said those hurtful things."

We both stared at her not sure how to respond.

"What you told me today Taran was such a shock," she continued," but I'll do my best to try and understand and please be reassured of one thing."

"What's that?" we both asked, almost in unison.

"Both your father and I still love you and will support you in whatever you decide for your future happiness," she explained," now come here and let me give you both a big motherly hug."

Soon the tears were streaming down every one's cheeks, but this time they were a reflection of our relief and joy as we were embraced by our Mother.

The door bell rang, with whoever who was activating it sounding like they expected a quick response as it rang a few times in rapid succession.

"It must be the post," said Mum, disengaging herself," I'll get the door and then why don't we go for a meal somewhere, my treat."

We heard her footsteps and then the door being opened and the sound of a woman's voice.

"Doesn't sound like the postman," I said to my sister as we both dried our eyes again.

"Celyn it's someone for you," Mum shouted up the stairs.

I opened the door and started walking down to the lobby.

"Who is it?" I asked.

"It's one of your teachers," she answered," she said her name is Mrs Prys."

"What?" I exclaimed in my astonishment, "what does she want?"

"She wouldn't say, but she seems very upset," responded my Mother.

---

To be continued
 
End of Vol. 2.13

I leant forward and gave him a little peck on the cheek............ Before he could say anything else I had jumped in the back of the car next to my sister. "Quick Mum, drive off!" I whispered. "Before Alun gets over the shock of the kiss," said my sister, laughing until I gave her a vicious prod in the side. The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.14 - Boyfriend? by Alys

---

Vol. 2.14
 

"I'm so sorry Celyn, I didn't know where else to go," said Mrs Prys, flatly, as she stood at the door looking very much the worse for wear.

Her mouth was swollen and bruised, her left eye was almost closed and there was a trickle of blood running from her nose which looked like it could be broken. Despite the heat of the summer morning she was shivering. It was obvious she was in urgent need of some medical attention.

"Mum, this is Mrs Prys," I said, " she used to teach French to me and Taran, is it OK if she comes in?"

"Of course, of course please come Mrs Prys. This way into the kitchen, let's see if we can patch you up a bit," Mum responded as she led the way to a chair at the kitchen table before fetching the first aid kit out of the cupboard.

"Celyn, fetch Mrs Prys a glass of brandy, Taran get a blanket from the airing cupboard," Mum directed before proceeding to gently clean up our teacher's face.

"I'm really sorry to put you out Mrs Morus.....," began Mrs Prys, apologetically, shivering, despite the warmth of the kitchen.

"Don't worry at all, just let me finish here and you'll feel a little better," answered Mum as she continued to patch up Mrs Prys, "and call me Haf by the way."

Our injured teacher accepted the brandy glass from me and sipped it a little.

Taran returned with the woolen blanket and draped it around Mrs Prys's shoulders. She wrapped it around herself tightly and drank the rest of the brandy. She winced when Mum touched her swollen nose.

"Not sure if it's broken or not, but better get you down to the doctors," said Mum as she looked carefully at Mrs Prys's injuries, "Celyn can you fetch me the phone, maybe we can get Mrs Prys an emergency appointment at the surgery, quicker than going to A and E*."

I gave Mum the phone, she dialled the number and then walked to the other side of the kitchen to make the call.

"Mrs Prys, would you like something hot to drink, maybe a coffee or a hot chocolate?" asked my sister.

"Thanks Taran," replied Mrs Prys, "could I have a coffee?"

My sister wandered off to make the drink. I turned to Mrs Prys and whispered, "was it your husband? How did he find out?"

"He found my certificate.....I was just so stupid, it's all my fault," she muttered.

I put my arm around her while responding, "It's not your fault, Mrs Prys."

"Mrs Prys, it's not your fault, whoever did this to you....they're the ones at fault, not you," stated my Mother as she finished her call and caught the end our conversation. She paused and it was obvious she was curious about the identity of Mrs Prys's attacker, but in the end she stopped herself asking and continued, "I've got you an appointment, in twenty minutes, and I've got you some Ibuprofen for the pain."

My sister brought over a cup of coffee and put it on the table.

"Thank you so much," replied Mrs Prys before she took the offered tablets and swallowed them with a few sips of the hot drink.

"Hopefully that'll ease the pain a little and I guess we'd better get down to the surgery now for them to check you out. Now then gir......Taran and Celyn go and get ready while I get the car out." Mum said, before picking up her car keys and making her way to the front door.

"Mum, I can't go looking like this," I interjected.

"Looking like what?" asked Mother, turning round to look at me, "there's nothing wrong with shorts and t-shirt, it's a hot day, they don't have a dress code in the health centre."

"I mean I can't go there looking like a boy, Mum. Alun lives next to the doctor's, I might I bump into him he'll realise who I really am," I explained.

"Oh, that makes things a bit complicated," she responded.

There was a few seconds pause before Mum turned to Mrs Prys, "umm Cerys there is something about Celyn, about my 'son' I need to tell you and you'll have to promise to........."

"I know about your 'daughter' already," interrupted Mrs Prys with an attempt at a smile that only somehow managed to make her battered face look worse.

"How could you possibly know?" asked Mother, sounding a little alarmed.

"It's a long story, Haf, but don't worry I haven't told anyone else," replied our injured teacher.

"You'll have to tell me later then. Celyn can you go and change then, put on your nice white dress with your black stockings and your ankle boots," directed Mum, "we need to hurry to make the appointment."

Some twenty minutes later we were rushing from the car park into the reception area of the town centre health centre.

"Hello, we've got an appointment with Doctor Allen," said Mum, a little out of breath, to the young female receptionist, who smiled then typed something on her computer before indicating the last few empty chairs in the waiting room. I sat down next to my sister in two adjacent chairs while Mum sat next to Mrs Prys a little further along.

"I hope we don't have to wait long," whispered Taran to me as she looked round the crowded room with its usual mixture of young and old ill people.

"Doesn't look too promising," I replied, directing Taran's attention to the patient list on the wall mounted monitor, "there are six others before Mrs Prys."

"Damn, oh well maybe there will be a silver lining, pass me some of those and take a pile yourself. Here's a chance for you to immerse yourself into the world of women's magazines," she whispered, smiling.

*************

An hour and a half later we finally left the stuffy waiting room and were making our way towards the car, to take Mrs Prys to the police station to report the assault after her unbroken nose had been bandaged, when I heard a familiar voice calling, I looked over my shoulder and my heart sank.

"Hey Eifiona!, wait." shouted Alun, running from his front door towards us.

I stopped and turned to face my persistent admirer, while everyone else got into the car.

"Hey Alun," I replied as unenthusiastically as possible.

He stopped, breathing a little heavily after his dash along the tarmac, "You're looking pretty today Eifiona."

"Thanks, I guess," I replied, "sorry I've got to go."

Alun looked disappointed with my reaction. He put a hand gently on my arm, "something wrong, you were pretty sweet yesterday, you remember outside the station."

I forced myself to smile, "Of course I do Alun."

I leant forward and gave him a little peck on the cheek, "I'm really sorry we DO have a major family crisis. Ring me later."

Before he could say anything else I had jumped in the back of the car next to my sister.

"Quick Mum, drive off!" I whispered.

"Before Alun gets over the shock of the kiss," said my sister, laughing until I gave her a vicious prod in the side.

As we sped off I turned to give Alun a little wave and received a bigger one in response while at the same time he held his other hand to the cheek I'd just kissed.

"So what was that all about then?" asked Mum a few minutes later as she negotiated her way around the usual Casnewydd bumper to bumper traffic.

"Nothing," I muttered.

"It wasn't nothing Celyn," she countered, "I saw it all, you gave that Alun a kiss."

"Celyn, or should I say 'Eifiona' has a boyfriend," chortled Taran until she received a harder prod than the one before.

"Ouch that hurt!" my sister protested.

"Well don't be mean," I responded, "you know he's not my boyfriend."

She poked her tongue out at me and gave my hair a little tug. I responded with another prod in her side which elicited a squeal of pain. It was only the intervention of Mum that stopped a full scale tussle developing in the back of the car.

"Come on girls, stop fighting!" she commanded, "remember we're trying to help poor Mrs Prys."

"I'm so sorry for all this trouble," said our teacher, very softly.

I looked at Mrs Prys's battered face as she spoke and immediately felt like the lowest of the low. My irritation with Alun was nothing to the trauma she had experienced. I sat back in my chair as Taran did the same. There was silence in the car for a few minutes.

"It's not a problem, Mrs Prys," said Mum, eventually, after successfully navigating accross the city, "we are happy to help as much as we can, now where's the car park for the damn station?"

*************

Some twenty minutes later we had left the police station after Mrs Prys had been interviewed by a sympathetic policewoman who had promised to visit the scene of the assault within the hour when a male duty officer became available.

"So what now then?" asked Mum as we all got back into the car.

There was a hesitation and then Mrs Prys spoke softly, "I'm sorry to have to ask you for one more favour after all you have done for me."

"What is it?" asked Mum.

"Well I wonder..." began Mrs Prys before stopping, "....if we could pay a short visit to my house to collect some of my documents and a few other valuables before Steve gets round to destroying them as he threatened this morning."

"Won't that be a bit awkward with your husband being there and everything?" I asked, as tactfully as I could and not being sure I had altogether succeeded.

"It's OK Celyn," she replied, "he'll be down the club, he always goes there on Saturday morning to watch the football and get drunk too, usually."

*************

Just over half an hour Mum pulled up outside a neat modern semi in the comfortable Malpas neighbourhood where Mrs Prys had lived since she married two years previously.

We waited for a few minutes but there seemed to no signs of life in the house. We cautiously exited the car and walked slowly towards the front door and were soon inside standing in the hallway.

All around us were signs of violence. The floor was littered with a variety of items including shoes, clothes and kitchen equipment. There were marks on the walls showing the position of impacts. It was a frightening atmosphere. I gently squeezed Taran's arm to try and feel a little reassured.

Mum seemed to feel the same and articulated our anxiety, "I think it's best if we don't stay too long Mrs Prys."

"Don't worry I don't intend to stay any longer than necessary," responded Mrs Prys as she set about quickly to move from cupboard to cupboard, sorting through papers and piles of objects before selecting a few items and putting them in her handbag.

Mum, Taran and I picked up a few of the larger objects and tried to find a more appropriate location for them. I felt marginally less fearful as I busied myself doing something.

"OK, that's it all, I think," said Mrs Prys after what seemed an age but was probably not much more than ten minutes, "shall we go?"

We all turned, in relief, to leave but, before we could move, we heard a key in the lock of the front door.

This was quickly followed by the noise of it opening.

"Hello, is that you Cerys? I told you not to come back!" yelled an angry unfamiliar male voice.

A & E* = Accident and Emergency Department in a hospital = ER

---

This volume to be concluded next chapter
 
End of Vol. 2.14

"Quick Mum phone the police now," I urged, "our combined weights and over four inches of wood is not going to hold him up for long." "Do it Mum, now!" said Taran as she pushed as hard as she could, standing next to me. Mum dialed the numbers. The Price To Pay - Vol. 2.15 - Departure (Vol. 2 Conclusion) by Alys

---

Vol. 2.15
 
"I told you not to come back you freak!," screamed the middle aged, overweight, tall man, standing in the doorway.

"I'm only getting some papers, David, I won't bother you again," responded Mrs Prys, timidly, to her aggressive husband.

"You don't get it do you, you disgusting pervert!" shouted the drunken Mr Prys as he slowly advanced towards us along the corridor, taking a swig from his bottle of lager as he moved. Mrs Prys moved forward to block her drunken spouse's view of us cringing in the corner of the kitchen.

"I'm sorry if you feel betrayed, I loved you so much, I made a mistake, can't you forgive me?" pleaded Mrs Prys.

"You stupid piece of shit! How can a thing like you ever love?" her ex-partner sneered, "and now I'm going to make sure that no-one else ever makes the same mistake as me."

He quickly advanced to where Mrs Prys was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, raising his hand and was about to strike when I rushed forward, grabbed her hand and pulled her out of his way.

"Leave her alone, you big bully," I shouted.

He stopped and stared at me then he noticed the presence of Mum and Taran standing next to me and Mrs Prys.

"Who the hell are you?" he yelled, "what the fuck are you doing in my house?"

Mum pulled her shoulders back and stared at the eyes of the drunken bully before replying, "Is that the sort of language to use in front of my daughters Mr Prys?"

The shock of Mum's apparent confidence in addressing him made Mr Prys step away from us. He clumsily put his bottle down and looked a little confused. Mum tried to take advantage of his moment of indecision.

"Now if you don't mind we were just leaving," she said curtly, gesturing to the rest of us to follow her.

Before we could get past him, Mr Prys had moved to stand in our way.

"Just a minute, you haven't explained what you're doing here and I told that.......thing not to come here again," he said loudly, pointing at Mrs Prys for emphasis.

Mum made sure she stood in front of the rest us before replying, "Your WIFE asked us to come with her to help her collect some of her things."

"What's it got to do with you anyway?" he asked, sounding angry again, I wondered as we stood there about Mum's wisdom in using the word 'wife'. I hoped against hope that he wouldn't see it as a provocation. I groaned inwardly as my Mum persisted.

"Your WIFE came to my house this morning after YOU assaulted her," she said accusingly before being economical with the truth, "she is a friend of my family, it is the least we could do to help her."

Whatever Mum's intentions were by her comments the response of Mr Prys was immediate and forceful.

"Don't call that thing my wife! How you would like it if one of your daughters was a freak like her..him. I'm not gay, I don't want to be fucking a man," he ranted.

"I would still love her as my child," my Mother responded calmly, "and as far as your wife is concerned she is a WOMAN and maybe you have forgotten your marriage vows, 'for better or for worse'."

Unfortunately the drunken husband was too far gone to appreciate the logic of my Mum's argument and his next action was unfortunately predictable.

He picked up his bottle again and moved menacingly towards us.

"Out of my way you interfering bitch," he screamed, "unless you want what the freak is going to get?"

Mum backed away, keeping herself between him and us.

"The police are on their way this very minute so you'd better calm down if you don't want any more trouble," she said, maintaining her eye contact.

"Don't be stupid, they're not interested in a little domestic, now GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

"Now Mr Prys please don't make this worse for yourself," responded Mum, bravely

"And how are you going to stop me then, you a kung fu expert or something," he sneered in response.

"Mrs Morus please you must go with your daughters......" began Mrs Prys.

There was a flash of inspiration in my head and I knew what I had to do.

"Ohh Ahh Cantona!*," I yelled as I first pulled my dress up and then threw myself, feet first, kung fu style, at the menacing bully in front of us.

My feet caught him square in the chest and the force of the impact caused him to stagger and fall.

"What the fuck!" he exclaimed.

"Quick Mum, let's go," I shouted as I got to my feet and raced through the door out of the kitchen. I reached the front door, with the others in hot pursuit behind me. I reached for the handle and yanked it down to open the door.

It hardly budged.

"It's locked!," I said as I turned to see the others standing behind me. There was a noise from the kitchen of Mr Prys getting to his feet, cursing as he did so.

"The key, Mrs Prys, quick," I urged.

She reached down to her waist and then stopped before responding, "My handbag.....it's in the kitchen!"

I looked through the door to the kitchen and saw the bag containing our hope of escape plonked right in the middle of the breakfast table. There was no way we could retrieve it without first getting past the angered ex-soldier, who that very second was taking another swig from his
bottle of lager.

"Let's go back into the lounge," said Taran.

"No wait," I said, putting my hand on my sister's arm, "I've got a better idea."

I took the three paces towards the door into the kitchen and pushed it shut then I gestured at the bureau in the hallway.

"Quick pull this across it should stop him," I instructed as I pushed all my weight against the door.

The other three quickly moved the large wooden piece of furniture across the door. We all stood pushing as hard as we could.

Within seconds there was an almighty thud as Mr Prys, in the kitchen, threw his weight against the door. It opened a few inches before we pushed back to close it again.

"Quick Mum phone the police now," I urged, "our combined weights and over four inches of wood is not going to hold him up for long."

"Do it Mum, now!" said Taran as she pushed as hard as she could, standing next to me.

Mum dialed the numbers.

"Police please," she said as the operator asked her what emergency service she wanted.

She quickly related our predicament and was reassured that a car was on its way and would arrive in minutes.

***************

Ten minutes later there was an almighty crash as the front door was smashed open by two burly looking members of Gwent constabulary.

"Where is he then?" one of them asked brusquely.

"In there," indicated Mum, pointing at the kitchen door from where there had not been much sound since the sound of the police siren a couple of minutes earlier.

The two policemen quickly moved the barrier aside and then strode into the kitchen.

We heard one of them reciting the charge.

"Mr David Prys, I'm arresting you for the assault of your wife, Mrs Cerys Prys and the attempted assault of Mrs Haf Morus, Taran Morus and Celyn Morus. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court. Anything you do say may be given in evidence "

Moments later a much more subdued Mr Prys, with his hands in plastic restraints behind him, walked out of the kitchen ahead of the two policemen.

He stopped in front of us.

All the earlier anger and aggression seemed to have vanished from his face. He seemed about to say something but then then he was propelled forward towards the police car. One of the policemen helped him into the rear of the car while the other turned to speak to us.

"Someone will be in touch ladies later on for a further statement," he said before turning to get into the car.

"Thank you so much officers," said Mum.

The policeman nearest us, in the driving seat, waved an acknowledgement and then the car sped off and merged into the town traffic.

**********************

"Are you sure you won't stay for lunch at least?" asked Mum as Mrs Prys put the last of her belongings into the back of her stylish blue Citroen C3 convertible. She was looking very chic in her summer dress, designer sun glasses and pretty scarf. The bruises on her face had almost completely faded.

She had not returned to school during the month since the assault, having been on extended sick leave. The rumours had been rife about the reasons for her absence and Taran and I had been asked many times for the reason as the news of her staying with us had extended over the school bush telegraph. Mr Prys had agreed to plead guilty and expressed his remorse in court while not mentioning his motivation for the attack. To our disgust he had only been heavily fined and bound over.

The only silver lining for Mrs Prys was keeping her transgender status out of the local newspapers. She had decided to take a job teaching English in a school in Nantes. My Dad had taken Taran on a visit to see her new university accommodation in Caerdydd and so wasn't there to see our guest depart.

"Thanks Haf, you know I'd love to but I want to leave enough time to catch the ferry," she responded, before hugging her warmly, "I will always be grateful to you, thank you for everything you've done."

"It's been our pleasure Cerys," Mum answered, "and don't forget to keep in touch."

Mrs Prys turned to me and opened her arms. I embraced her.

"Celyn, I wonder if anyone has ever told you what an amazing girl you are?" she said, quietly, "and you know one thing?"

"What's that?" I asked.

"You're going to grow up to be the most amazing woman," she replied.

She gently kissed me on two cheeks, French style, and then without another word she got in her car.

As she gave us one last look I could see her eyes were beginning to moisten. She then turned and started the car and then with a quick wave was driving down our drive out onto the lane leading to main road.

Mum took out her handkerchief and dabbed her eyes, before handing it to me, as we watched the little blue car until it disappeared around the distant corner.

*http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/january/27/...

---

End of volume 2
 

I dropped my dressing gown and looked at Sion in the eye, waiting a moment to catch his gaze as his eyes wandered over my body.
“I’ve got breasts and no penis so I must BE a girl!”, I said loudly, as I gestured at my bra and panties.
He stood there and stared at me in utter shock.

               The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.1

               by Alys

I cycled steadily in Sion’s slipstream. I felt the warm, balmy summer air pressing on my face and blowing the few strands of my chestnut brown hair not contained in the cycle helmet. I felt a little trickle of sweat roll down my back. Once again the the UK summer was following its predictable pattern, hot weather at the same time as end of school exams.

Sion upped his pace a little as we swept round the last long corner of the minor road before the final short stretch to my house. I quickened my pedalling. I knew that he was glancing at me waiting for my move as usual confident that his greater strength would enable him to run down any brief advantage I took by sprinting past. Although it was still a quarter of a mile to the slight dip in the road, which was the normal place to begin the race for home.

A green pickup overtook us and buffeted us momentarily. Without thinking of the implications and to Sion’s complete surprise I slipped my bike past his and into the vehicle’s slipstream. I sprinted as hard as I could taking advantage of the momentary lull in wind resistance. I was 50 metres down the road before Sion looked up and noticed that I was somehow in front rather than behind of him.

“Hey you cheat, I’ll get you for that!”, he shouted after me as he stood up in his saddle and started sprinting after me.

“Have to catch me first”, I muttered to myself as I redoubled my efforts to try and make it to the house gate first.

The house gate rushed up towards me while I heard the sound of Sion’s heavy breathing and bike noise getting nearer as his greater strength had its effect. He was just about to pass me when with a final extra effort I sped forward and through the gate breaking to a stop 20 metres up the drive.

“Don’t know how you do it nearly everytime, Celyn”, he replied, laughing. “You know I’m going to miss these races next year. Are you sure you won’t come back to school in the Autumn? We’re going to miss you on the football* and cricket teams”

“Sorry, you know I prefer the courses at the local college to do my ‘A’ Levels”**

“Yes I know, it’s a shame though. Better go I guess, ‘rents will want to organise some sort of celebration for the end of the exams. See you Sunday?”

“Sure, the weather looks good for a 50k”

Sion looked at me and made a slight movement towards me, I felt myself wanting to move towards him as if we were about to hug. He stopped himself and shook his head as if to doubt his actions. With a final wave he mounted his bike, rode out of the gate and resumed his journey along the road.

============================
I locked my bike away on its stand in the garage, took the key from my bike bag and opened the side door to the house. I picked up the post, that had arrived after everyone had left the house that morning, and, after checking that there was nothing for me, put it on the small side table.

I saw that the answer phone light was flashing. I pressed the switch to retrieve the messages. There were two, one from my sister to say that she couldn’t come down from university this evening for the meal my parents had arranged for my end of exam celebration, I was a little disappointed, but not surprised given her hectic social life. The other was a brief one from Mum to remind me to wear the new clothes we had bought last weekend. I smiled.

I walked up to my room and deposited my bike/school bag with a tinge of regret. The college was too far to be able to cycle there so that was the end of an era.

I collected two clean bath towels from the cupboard. I was just about to walk out through my bedroom door to the bathroom when I noticed the calendar and in particular a red ring around today’s date.

“Damn”, I thought to myself, “one of THOSE Fridays”.

I put one of my towels on the bed and prepared for my biweekly chore.

I peeled my cycling top and shorts off and put them in the dirty clothes basket. Next my T-shirt and underpants. I took the tub of lube and rubbed some around the edge of my vagina as I slowly, painfully, eased the prosthetic penis out and pulled down the straps that held it in place. Something I wouldn’t miss having to do in the future. I unzipped the super support sports bra.

I massaged my breasts, sore after being constricted for most of the day. As a caressed my nipples I suddenly had an image of Sion and I felt them enlarge. I stopped in shock.

I lay down on the towel took out my next to largest stent and dilated myself with that one and and then the largest one for the next half hour. I felt myself thinking about Sion again and soon I was playing with my breasts and inserting the stent thinking about him. Suddenly I felt a powerful wave of pleasure come over me. It was a shock.

In the shower a little later I pondered the strangeness of masturbating thinking about Sion. He was my best friend and now I was having sexual feelings about him.

I dried, powdered and sprayed and then put my new bra and panty set on. The bra was underwired and made my average sized breasts look quite large, it frightened me really. I wasn’t keen about how the bra seemed to make them stand out so much. I put my pink dressing gown on and did my makeup, I had plenty of lessons from my Mum and my sister over the last year and a half and could do a pretty good job of it now, even though this was something else I wasn’t at all keen on. Breasts and makeup I would do without if I had the choice, which, I reflected, I didn’t really have.

The phone rang.

I rushed downstairs to hear the answer phone clicking in and my mother speaking.

“Sorry Celyn something major has come up at work and your Dad and myself will have to stay late to finish it off. But we will have a lot more time on the weekend now and we’ll have our celebration tomorrow. See you later”

I cursed, all this effort of dressing up and now I would have to do it again tomorrow.
The doorbell rang.

I wandered over to the door still lost in my frustration at the evening being altered and all this pointless preparation. I opened the door absentmindedly.

Sion stood there, still in his cycling kit. He was looking at the garden.

“Hi Celyn my Dad is not well so I am free and wondered if you wanted to…………………………”

He stopped talking and stared at me with my made up face, and obvious curves under the dressing gown.

“Why are you dressed as a girl? What’s this all about?” He asked in a strange, slightly angry tone.

I dropped my dressing gown and looked at Sion in the eye, waiting a moment to catch his gaze as his eyes wandered over my body.

“I’ve got breasts and no penis so I must BE a girl!”, I said loudly, as I gestured at my bra and panties.

He stood there and stared at me in utter shock.

*(soccer)
**(‘A’ Levels = advanced level courses done at 18)

To be continued………………….

"Howzat?", I shouted in cricket lingo, grabbing the cricket ball from my groin and holding it aloft. I heard other team mates repeating the refrain. I beamed at them all. Something about their expression surprised me. Reality dawned. I took the only action possible, grabbed my groin and began to writhe on the floor, moaning in apparent pain. It was an Oscar winning performance.......

               The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.2

               by Alys

I kicked the ball past the last defender on the right of the field and moved with it, at top speed, towards the goal. For, what felt like, the twentieth time in the game I was tackled illegally from behind by the other, bulky defender. I was dumped to the ground as my 'sporting' opponent kicked my legs away. The small crowd of our supporters roared 'foul!'. For the first time in the game the referee was too close to the incident to ignore it. He blew his whistle and called for a free kick.

Sion helped me up and asked me if I felt OK to take the kick. I rubbed the latest bruise on my leg and nodded. I wasn't going to miss this for the world. I placed the ball on the ground. Our opponents were wasting as much time as possible on setting up the defensive wall. They didn't want to concede a goal now as a drawn game would give them the league title. Eventually all was set. I looked at all the players' positions and knew that my kick would have to be perfect to be successful. I ran up and kicked the ball with the inside of my boot, the vicious swerve I gave it took it round the defensive wall and past the despairing reach of the goalkeeper into the top corner. Goal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I turned round to look at Sion, but strangely instead of Sion the face of Ryan Giggs* beamed back at me and the small crowd in the sports field had turned into 70,000 in Old Trafford. I basked in the adulation but the cheers somehow turned into jeers and the shout of 'Celyn's a girl' started to ring through the crowd.

The ringing increased in volume and became some classic Welsh rock 'Nid diwedd y gá¢n yw'r geiniog', thumping around the stadium.

I opened an eye and looked at my CD/alarm clock. I reached over and fumbled with the music off switch. By the time I had managed to locate it, well hidden on the clock's side, I had been forced to open a second eye and all hopes of returning to my dream of sporting achievement had disappeared. I cursed the clock manufacturers for their cunning design, which had once again succeeded. The clock read 8am. I lay on my back and thought back to that fateful game and remembered how the joy of the final result had so soon after turned into the pain and anguish that had started me on my unexpected journey.

I sat up in my bed and the jiggle of my breasts at this sudden movement reminded me of where I had come so far in my journey while the cool morning air on my bare legs reminded me of my mother's wish to clothe me in completely female clothing. I would have to persuade her that girls could wear PJ's as well as night dresses. I grabbed my dressing gown and after locating my (pink!) slippers walked downstairs to the kitchen for some breakfast.

I sat at the table eating my cornflakes and glanced at the main stories in the Guardian newspaper, that had thumped onto the carpet as I reached downstairs. I thought back to the night before and sitting in the same chair opposite Sion at the breakfast table. It had taken almost an hour, after his initial shock at seeing my female form, to explain everything to him. In the end he told me that he thought I was very brave and that he would like to help in any way possible. I had then put on a blouse and skirt, the only type of casual clothes that I possessed, and we had played Wii Sports. When my parents had finally arrived, my father had taken Sion and bike home while I had had to explain to my Mum how I was wearing these clothes in the company of Sion. Somehow or other we had ended up watching Titanic for the nth time on cable sharing a box of paper tissues between us - female hormones!

The phone rang.

"Are you ready?", was Sion's first sentence.

"And good morning to you Sion", I replied in a jokey, sarcastic voice

"Are you ready?", he repeated, with a little more urgency.

"I think the job of Polly Parrot has now been filled. Ready for what Sion?"

"Are you ready to go?"

"You've lost me completely Sion, ready to go where?"

"To the game! The final of the youth cricket cup, we promised we'd play now that our exams are over", he replied with with a tone of frustration.

"Oh ssuuuuugggggaaaarrrr! What time do we have to be there?"

"25 minutes, I'm leaving now I'll be with you in 10"

I ran upstairs, zipped myself into my superflat sports bra, then the addition of a tight T shirt and loose cricket sweater concealed my upper half. I pulled my jock strap on and stuffed the prosthetic inside, no time to put it on properly. Hair into an untidy male pony tail and having put on my cricket trousers, socks and shoes in record time I made it to the door just as Sion knocked.

"Hi", I said slightly out of breath from the rush downstairs.

"Nail Varnish!!"

"Do you want some nail varnish Sion, you surprise me"

"No you dipstick", said Sion in exasperation, "you are still wearing it from yesterday and as you hopefully realise it's not the usual Aberllwyd youth cricket team kit"

I ran back into my bedroom and in record time had removed the bulk of the offending colour, well at least enough to pass anything but the closest inspection.

We arrived at the ground, via various bike short cuts, just as the coach was finishing his team talk.

"Thought you two were not honouring us with your presence", he commented acidly despite our fulsome apologies

Neither of us had played for weeks because of our school exams. This was the final game of the youth season, the team for 16-17 year olds. If we could beat the team from Cwm Gwyddon then we would win the youth title, the first time for many years. Our opponents were in the same situation so this was a crucial game for both sides. Today's game was scheduled for 30 overs each team**.

The game ebbed and flowed. First our opening batsmen started brightly scoring well but then the two big, clearly overage players in my opinion, players started bowling fast, hard and dirty. We quickly lost wickets and the scoring rate slowed. Sion revived our scoring for a while before he was hit in the chest by a vicious delivery by gorrila 2, I had nicknamed them gorilla 1 and 2. Soon it was my turn to bat and there were only 3 of us left to try and achieve a reasonable score. Gorilla 1 looked at me in contempt as I walked to face his bowling. I was by 3-4 inches shorter than everyone else on the pitch. He thundered down to bowl and sent down one to hit me in the head. He was about to yell in triumph until, at the last moment, I stepped inside the flight and steered the ball over the boundary for a score of 6. That enraged him and then followed a series of powerful deliveries that I either blocked, if they were on target, or used the pace he had put on the ball to steer to scoring shots.

Our final team score of 165 was respectable and I was happy with my personal mark of 55.

Our opponents got off to a good start scoring quickly, with gorilla 1 and 2 laying waste to our bowling. in desperation the team captain, a tall 17 year old called Alun, handed me the ball.

"See what you can do Celyn", he said.

The confident opening batsmen looked at my small stature and grinned at each other. They were expecting some big hits from my bowling. I ran in gently and tossed a ball up high, inviting a big hit from gorilla 1 . He swung mightily and only succeeded in moving a mass of air as the furious backspin I had put on the ball caused it to swerve past his bat and to gently knock over one of his stumps. He gave me a look of utter disgust and stomped off. After his dismissal our bowlers regained confidence and together we managed to slow their scoring, and get them out on regular intervals, so that with one over left they needed 7 runs but were down to their last pair of batsmen. First ball, Sion, our fastest bowler, steamed in and almost hit the wicket but the delivery was too fast for our wicket keeper and we conceded 4 runs as the ball ran all the way to the boundary. I walked over to where Sion was waiting to bowl his next ball.

"A slower one, leg side, try it Sion", I whispered.

He looked at me and nodded. he waited until I had taken an unusual field position. He thundered in and appeared to put a huge effort in his delivery but at the last moment he slightly slow his arm movement and the ball was slower. The batsman took a might swipe at what appeared an inviting ball but only succeeded in hitting it high in the air in the direction where I had been waiting.

I looked up in the sky at the hard cricket ball plummeting towards me. I prepared my hands to take the all important match deciding catch. Disaster. As I steadied my feet, to receive the little cherry coloured bomb, a loose stud on my right boot snapped off and I stumbled and then landed on my back.

The ball hurtled towards me oblivious of my misfortune. With exquisite timing the ball slammed into my groin area just as my bum hit the grass. The sound of two impacts merged. I felt pain in my posterior and also a brief sharp pain in my groin area, but luckily the prosthetic had taken most of the impact. There was a clear noise of something tearing in the nether regions.

"Howzat?", I shouted in cricket lingo, grabbing the cricket ball from my groin and holding it aloft. I heard other team mates repeating the refrain. I beamed at them all. Something about their expression surprised me. Reality dawned. I took the only action possible, grabbed my groin and began to writhe on the floor, moaning in apparent pain.. It was an Oscar winning performance.......
Later after my apparent discomfort had been eased we had our raucous victory celebrations.

"Well done Celyn", the coach effused while the two of us were collecting our food from the buffet.

"55 runs, 5 wickets and the winning catch, you must have a tough jock strap though". He grinned at me.

"I've been thinking, I know that you should have another year with the youth team but I would really like you to train with the seniors next year. What do you think?"

I was completely speechless. I had never heard of a sixteen year old being asked to train with the adults. What an honour. His next sentence punctured my dream.

"By next year you will surely have bulked up and with your skills, would have a good chance of making the team"

I fought to hold the tears back as he mentioned the impossible scenario. I muttered something about having to rush home, jumped on my bike and rode home in dejection.

My mother was sorting through some clothes when I got home.

"Hi Mum had a good day? What are you doing?", I asked

"Hi Celyn", my Mum enthused, "Dad and I have booked a 2 week holiday in Cyprus for us 3 and I'm packing some new summer dresses and bikinis that I have bought for you"

I looked at her in disgust, my feelings of dejection at my situation deepened.

"It's not a holiday for me to spend two weeks in summer dresses and bikinis!", I yelled at my mother.
==========================================================================

*Ryan Giggs is currently the most famous Welsh football (soccer) player and is a member of one of the top UK teams, Manchester United
** Cricket is a bizarre game that involves hitting a ball and running up and down a small pieice of field. Sometimes described as an afternoon snooze punctuated with mutterings of 'good shot' and 'well bowled'. It also includes a reverence to something called the LBW, whose meaning is lost in the mists of time, 30 overs is 180 throws per side.

I took off my cardigan and carefully arranged it on the back of the chair, I was so glad to feel some cooler air on my skin although my low cut, strappy dress didn't leave a lot to the imagination and I felt somewhat exposed. I turned back to continue talking to my parents and then I noticed that my father's gaze seemed to have shifted. He no longer had eye contact with either my mum or me. With a shock I suddenly realised what had caught his attention.

"Dad you're staring at my boobs!"

               The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.3

               by Alys

There was a gentle knock on the door.

I ignored it, feeling sorry for myself wasn't the mood to be interested in someone knocking on the door. I lay on my back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. I noticed that there was the slightest hairline crack in the ceiling plaster. I stared at it trying to resolve its randomness into something with form and pattern.

There was another, slightly harder knock.

I still ignored it, hoping that whoever was there would go away.

There was a series of knocks and then an unexpected voice.

"Celyn are you awake? I have something for you", spoke Sion quietly.

There was a pause as I considered whether to respond.

"It's really nice, well worth having, you left without receiving it"

"What is it?” I asked.

"If you let me in I can show you", was his riposte.

"OK then", I reluctantly agreed and stood up to unlock the door.

Sion walked in and sat in my armchair near the window he had showered and changed and looked and smelled good, unlike me who was still in sweaty cricket kit.

"Wow, your room looks a lot different to the last time I was here", he said as he took in the pastel shades in the decorations and furniture. "I understand now why we have always met at my place or downstairs for the last year or so"

I shrugged my shoulders. "It was the easy thing to do, you would have found it all a bit strange before yesterday"

"I am still finding it difficult to understand the whole thing to be honest. I mean, yesterday evening and then today at the cricket, it's almost like you're two completely separate people apart from the gender difference"

I could sense that he wanted to have a further discussion about my various issues but there is only so much trauma that I could take in a day.

"Anyway this thing you have for me, what is it?” I asked to change the subject.

He looked at me, in surprise, for a moment and then reached into the pocket of his denim jacket and took out a small box and a folded envelope.

"What are they?"

"Open them and see", said Sion.

I opened the box and took out the small statuette inside, a bronze figurine taking a shot with a cricket bat. Underneath was an inscription -'Youth Player of the Season - Celyn Morus’. I felt a strange mixture of emotions, mostly pride at my achievement but also a little sadness; I felt a tear begin to form in my eye. I looked at Sion, open mouthed. He smiled and pointed at the envelope. I opened it, not knowing what to expect, inside were two pieces of card. I pulled them out and read them, 'Lord's Cricket Ground, One Day International, India v West Indies, August 14, Private Box 6'. The annual club trip!

Sion and I plunged into animated conversations about the trip and the best players of the respective sides as I forgot about my dejection of earlier. Our conversation soon turned to the exciting moments of that afternoon's game and he had me in tears of laughter describing some of the other players' comments on my 'catch in the goolies', as one of them had described it. Before we knew it an hour had passed and my mother was at my bedroom door telling me it was time to get ready for the evening. Sion reminded me of our planned cycle up to Brecon and promised to meet me at 9.

An hour and a half later, a lot of it spent with me disagreeing with my Mother about what to wear and with my Dad trying to smooth things and at the same time hurry us up, we exited our driveway for the short trip to the Tamarind, the best Indian restaurant in the whole of South East Wales. In the end I had compromised and had worn the skimpy dress that she had bought for me without a bra underneath as she had insisted was necessary for the 'look', but I was wearing a thin cardigan on top. My Mother, who still was a very attractive woman in her early forties, looked very smart in her above the knee skirt and blouse and matching jacket. My Father, who was a year older than my Mother, looked smart and handsome in his loose shirt and jacket.

We were sat at our table, in a secluded corner and spent an enjoyable few minutes trying to decide which of the impressive array of delicious items on the menu to choose. The drinks came. My Dad held up his red wine.

"Here's to you then Celyn, let's hope your hard work is rewarded when the results come"

"Yes well done on all your efforts and everything else, honey, we are really proud of you", added my Mother.

"To the future, whatever it may bring, to all of us", was my toast.

We all clinked glasses, their red wines and my lime and soda.

The conversation flowed with the drinks as we discussed my future college courses, their internet business, my sister's university exploits, well at least the ones we knew about. The food came and soon I was really enjoying the conviviality of the whole evening. The restaurant filled up. I began to feel a little hot. I took off my cardigan and carefully arranged it on the back of the chair, I was so glad to feel some cooler air on my skin although my low cut, strappy dress didn't leave a lot to the imagination and I felt somewhat exposed. I turned back to continue talking to my parents and then I noticed that my father's gaze seemed to have shifted. He no longer had eye contact with either my mum or me. With a shock I suddenly realised what had caught his attention.

"Dad you're staring at my boobs!” I said quite a bit louder than I had intended. I saw some heads at nearby tables turn towards us.

My Dad went traffic light red in embarrassment.

"I'm really sorry son................um I mean Celyn", he struggled with the words. "Sometimes it's hard to get used to, you know, all these changes"

"You could try daughter or honey, Gareth", admonished my mother

"Yes I know", he replied, "I really am trying my best"

After that little exchange things went a bit flat and the rest of the meal was mostly low key chit chat between my parents. I answered a few questions put directly to me but mostly I ate in silence and pondered my parents differing viewpoints. On the one hand my Father had difficulty accepting the changes while my Mother had embraced it all with almost a passion. One seemed to feel that he had lost a son while the other was pleased to have gained a daughter.

We paid the bill and walked to the car.

"I am so looking forward to the holiday", said my Mother. "It's going to be so nice being away from the pressures of work and it will be fun to spend some time together. Don't worry Celyn you won't be forced to be with adults all the time."

"Why is that Mum?” I asked.

"Didn't your Mum tell you", said my Dad.

"Tell me what?” I asked.

"Sorry it slipped my mind honey", she replied. "We are sharing the villa in Cyprus with the Jones's from the Swansea branch, they are bringing their son, Carwyn, he's 17, so you two can spend time together"

"Why is he coming, why do I want to spend time with a strange boy, when I will be a girl for the whole time?"

"Honey we just want you to broaden your experiences as a girl before you face the big wide world. It will be good experience for you in a safe environment. You two will be able to go places together" she said sweetly

"I don't need a bloody boyfriend!", I screamed at my mother. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Don't talk to your mother like that, Celyn!", commanded my father, "Come on Haf it's time to get in the car and go home", he said to my mother.

"You need to face up to reality now", said my mother, a little more tetchily, "you are a beautiful girl and when you go to college you will have to deal with the attention from boys that you will get"

I looked at her and almost spat out the words.

"Maybe I will be a lesbian then! That will deal with it"

I turned away from their shocked faces and started walking home.

I took his left hand and placed it on my right breast. He squeezed me gently and gently fingered my nipple. Little waves of pleasure radiated out.

"How does that feel?", I asked a little breathily.

"Totally weird........"

          The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.4

          by Alys

I switched to a lower gear as I approached the climb up to Cwmdu. I had been cycling for an hour and it was still only 8am. The rhythm of my body movement and breathing, the wind on my face, the sights, sounds and smells had created an inner feeling of well being. There was nothing like an endorphin high.

About another 15 minutes and I would be meeting up with Sion. I had sent him a text at 7, when I had got up, to change our meeting arrangements.

I had avoided my parents last night after our argument, making my way back home via narrow lanes. I had slipped out of our house this morning after sending Sion the message.

I took some water from my water bottle as I approached our rendezvous.

A flash of red in a field of maturing yellow oil seed rape caught my attention. It was an ancient rusting tractor, that had obviously been rusting away for a long time, dumped in a boggy corner of the farmer's field. Suddenly a memory of myself and Sion stopping to look at the tractor 2 summers before came to mind. We had been on a similar Sunday morning ride and had been intrigued by the slowly decaying machine. I probably still a few photos that I had taken that day on my PC.

A long and hot summer that I had spent a lot of time cycling the roads and lanes of North Gwent/South Powys with Sion. But there had also been the time in town with the rest of my school mates who lived locally, the Aberllwyd crew, as we had innocently named ourselves, without a thought of the inner city mayhem that some gangs were causing. Recently I had tended to keep away from them outside school time.

Of course there had been no inkling then of the dramatic changes to my life that would be caused by a visit to the doctor a few months later. Then the difficult and painful decisions that had had to be made quickly, even though there had been little real choice. The last 18 months of hiding the surgical and subsequent hormonol changes had been increasingly stressful. Had it been a price worth paying for the general uncertainty and confusion that I felt at the moment? The alternative would have been simpler.

My reverie was disturbed by the sound of Sion shouting to attract my attention from the bench by the village green where he had propped his bike up.

"Hey Celyn! Wow new cycle kit! Very nice but pink?"

I laughed

"This girls' kit is the only kit that really fits me properly, the boys' kits are a size too large to cover things up obviously, no choice in the colour, Mum buys my clothes at the moment", I replied a little out of breath as I brought my bike to a halt.

"So why the change of plans today?", Sion asked.

I described the previous evening's events. Sion raised his eyebrows.

"You said that! Oh my goodness no wonder you want to avoid them. Did you sort of mean it? I mean are you serious about being, you know what?", he asked uncertainly.

"No idea, it was a heat of the moment thing, I've not considered what I might do with whom, we shall have to see, maybe I'll become a nun...", I replied, smiling. "Come on let's get going, last one to Goytre wharf buys breakfast!"

We set off on the 25 mile ride to the canal wharf. We took it in turns to take the lead, swapping every couple of miles. A rest and pleasant breakfast at the cafe followed and a chance to stock up on sandwiches for lunch from the little cafe shop and we were away again. We had decided to turn off the main road at Penperllenni and ride round the countryside near the historic Llanover estate before making our way back via Y Fenni.

By midday it had got pretty hot and we had begun to look for a shady spot to rest and have lunch. Sion spotted a promising little grassy path off the minor road we had been cycling on.

"What about this way?"

We made our way along the path for about half a kilometre until suddenly it opened out into a beautiful forest glade next to a large natural pool fed by a small stream.

We propped our bikes against some large oak trees and lay down on the sweet smelling, soft grass.

"Wow what a place", I remarked, "this was a good find, well spotted"

"It is a hot day today, must be the hottest so far this month", Sion said as he took off his cycle jersey and then with a quick glance at me and a little hesitation removed his T-shirt.

I took my own cycle jersey off but hesitated about my own pastel pink cami top.

"Aren't you hot?", Sion asked.

"Probably hotter than you, girl's bodies have more body fat, which you may remember from our science exam is an insulator", I replied.

"Take your top off then, remember I've already seen you in your bra and panties"

"That's true", I replied as I turned away and took my cami off. I lay there enjoying the cooling breeze from the pool.

"Wow Pink bra, your mother really seems to be going overboard on the girly training", said Sion, chuckling.

"You're telling me, it's as if now that I am going to be a girl full-time she has decided that I need a super girly image to make sure no-one ever makes a mistake about my gender. This is the only normal bra that I have that doesn't enhance my breasts. I really need some plain sports bras".

"What's it like, you know, having them?", he asked tentatively.

"A pain a lot of the time. They get in the way, you can't sleep on your front, you have to wear a bra, which is not the most comfortable of clothing items, and running is painful unless you have good support for them"

That shut Sion up for a little while and we ate our lunch in silence, while around us the birds chirped in the trees and the warm summer breeze rustled the abundant foliage everywhere. Sion walked over to the pool and splashed water onto his face and head.

"You know this water looks very inviting", he called out.

I walked over and splashed water over head and face, it was refreshingly cool.

"We haven't got towels and besides, well you know, things are different now", I said with some hesitation.

"We have our T shirts, we don't need to wear them going back. As to the other thing, you don't have to if you don't want to but I really fancy a nice cool splash. You don't have to look if it would embarass you"

"OK, I'll think about it, you go ahead. I'm not embarrassed to look at you, just embarrassed about you looking at me", I replied.

Sion quickly took his socks, cycling shoes, shorts and underpants off and carefully walked over the stones down into the pool. He winced as he lowered himself into the cold water but soon was swimming slowly round in a circle.

"It's fantastic", he shouted out from the middle of the pool. "You're missing out"

I came to a quick decision and sat down to take off my socks and shoes and then stood to take off my shorts, bra and panties. I stepped gingerly over the rocks into the water acutely aware of the gentle sway and jiggle of my breasts with every movement. I glanced up to see Sion staring at them.

"Stop ogling me, you"

His response was to throw handfuls of water over me. It was cold!

"I'll get you for that", I yelled and threw myself into the water swimming over to him and pushing him under.

We splashed and swam for a good while before we both began to feel the cold of the water getting too much. We dried ourselves as well as possible in our tops and then lay down on the grass to dry out in the sun.

"It's amazing how much your body has changed", he commented after a while turning to look at me, "a couple of years ago we looked almost identical, although I've always been a little bigger"

"Hormones are powerful things, especially for people our age with our bodies still growing", I replied.

Sion said nothing. I turned to see him gazing at me.

"You want to touch them, don't you?", I inquired.

"What?!", he exclaimed.

"You want to touch my boobs don't you?", I asked looking directly at his face.

"What do you mean..I.didn't do..say say anything", he spluttered.

"I would if I were you, that's why", I laughed.

I took his left hand and placed it on my right breast. He squeezed me gently and gently fingered my nipple. Little waves of pleasure radiated out.

"How does that feel?", I asked a little breathily.

"Totally weird........", he said, "I mean, look, less than two days ago, as far as I knew, you were my best MALE friend", he emphasized. "and now I don't know what to think about you, it's nice though. How does it feel for you"

"The same for the same reasons, nice", I replied, moving my fingers in a caress along the forearm of the hand touching me.

At that moment a cloud passed over the afternoon sun and the temperature dropped. I shivered. I looked at my watch.

"Shit it's almost 3, we'd better go it's over 30 miles back, I'll miss the evening meal if we stay longer.

We reluctantly separated and dressed and within a few minutes we were on our way again. The cycling was the same pattern as before, taking in turns to lead and to follow. We were both a bit out of condition so the journey back took longer than we had expected and it was getting near to 6 when we finally pulled into the drive of my house. I put my bike away on the rack and turned to say goodbye.

"I'll see you in two weeks then Sion", I said before I stumbled on a loose bit of gravel, Sion caught me and somehow we ended in a hug.

We held each other and he gently ruffled my hair, it felt so comforting.

"Celyn, are you back, I thought I saw your bike....oh hello Sion", said my Mother with a emphasis on the 'hello Sion'.

We separated as if an electric charge had passed between us.

"Hello Mrs Morus, I was just going. Bye then Celyn, have a good holiday, look after yourself", he turned and got on his bike and began to pedal out of the drive.

"I'll send you a postcard", I shouted after him. He turned round and gave me a smile and a wave and then was gone, back on the main road.

"Well that explains one thing, young lady", said my Mother with a smirk.

"Yes, why I need to wash this", as I took the very bedraggled looking cami out of pocket.

My Mother's look was priceless and I just made it to the bathroom before before the need to laugh overcame me.

The Oaf stood partly blocking the way into the villa. As I pushed past him he pressed his body into mine, casually squeezing my bum. He lowered his head towards me and I smelt the beer on his breath.

"I know your secret girly-boy", he whispered into my ear as his fetid breath washed over my face. I walked a metre away, turned around, looked at him and assumed an angry posture.

"What are you talking about?", I demanded

                    The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.5 - Outed?

                    by Alys

"Fasten your seatbelts", flashed on the notice above the door in the corridor on the Air Tours 767 as we began the descent down to Paphos airport in Cyprus after our uneventful 3 hour flight. I looked across the rest of my fellow travellers, my Mum and Dad, the Oaf (as I christened Carwyn - my erstwhile holiday 'friend') and his parents, Mr and Mrs Thomas. It had been a huge shock when we had met up with our holiday companions. I had recognised Carwyn immediately as the defender who had hacked me for the whole 90 minutes of the game in which my team had won the league title, two years before, with my final minute free-kick.

I had done my best to suppress any sense of recognition when I had greeted him and he didn't seem to have noticed anything familiar about me. To be honest he was too busy trying to look down my dress to bother with my face. We had chatted casually for a short while before boarding the plane. Well mostly him telling me how wonderful he was at everything, especially sport. By the time it came to sit down in the plane, luckily I was on the opposite side of the seating to him, I had caught him out in so many obvious lies and distortions about match results and scorers that I had resolved to have as little to do with him as possible during the fortnight.

"Wow this is amazing", said my Dad, as we walked into the white walled villa an hour later after our airport transfer had dropped us off.

"What a view", said Mr Thomas. We all looked at him and then followed his line of sight down towards the harbour and Paphos bay packed with small ships with small flags and bunting flapping in the light breeze. The pale blue waters of the Mediterranean shimmered in the evening light. It was a breathtaking sight.

Half an hour later, after depositing our luggage in our respective rooms, we were sitting on the veranda drinking wine and soft drinks. I had made sure my room was as far away from the Oaf as possible, I noticed disapprovingly that his parents indulged him in a few glasses of wine, which he gulped like it was a soft drink.

After a pleasant evening meal I excused myself to walk over down to the harbour to take in the atmosphere of hustle and bustle but also the centuries old buildings and monuments. I noticed that the Oaf had got up soon after me so I quickened my pace away from the villa and took a few random side streets to get away from him. I was looking up at Paphos fort and not completely looking where I was going when I bumped into someone.

"Oh excuse me, I wasn't watching where I was going", I apologised to a pretty Asian girl about my height and age.

"It's ok", she replied in a London accent, "my fault too. This place is really amazing don't you think? Are you on holiday?"

"Yes I agree it is amazing and I am on holiday, what about you?"

She replied that she had arrived two days earlier for a fortnight, that she was with her Mum and Dad and her 10 year old twin brothers, that her name was Amarjit and that she lived in Southall. I gave her the same information about myself and we chatted and wandered about the shops and sights of the old town for a while. The sun settled towards the horizon and it began to get dark.

"I'd better get back to my folks they will be wondering where I am", said Amarjit.

"Me too", I said.

"Been nice to meet you Celyn", she added, "do you want to get together again on the holidays?"

"Sure that would be fun, what about tomorrow?", I asked

We arranged to meet the next morning near the beaches and exchanged mobile numbers.

I made it back to villa uneventfully and came across my parents still sitting at the veranda. I told them where I had been and about my new friend. My mother smiled.

"That should be fine, my dear, we had all arranged to go to the beach tomorrow, maybe you, Carwyn and your new friend can spend some time together", she said.

"Yes Mum that would be great", I answered diplomatically, knowing that I would do everything possible to avoid that.

The next morning I managed to slip away from the party, after they had found a nice place to camp on the beach, by suggesting that I had left something back in the villa. I met up with Amarjit and steered her towards a different part of the beach.

"That's a lovely dress you have on, Celyn", she commented, "I wish I could wear something like that", she continued wistfully.

"I prefer your shorts and T myself. Why can't you wear a skimpy summer dress like this?", I asked.

"My father feels that girls my age shouldn't expose their shoulders and boobs, we should keep those parts of our body private, except for our husbands and family", she replied.

"What do you think about it?", I asked.

"I think he is a bit old fashioned"

Suddenly I had an idea.

"Hey, you know, we could swap! I'm sure we're almost the same size", I said.

We looked around and found a public toilet. We both squeezed into a cubicle and proceeded to change clothes. It felt strange, but nice to be pressed up against another young girl. I couldn't help noticing how attractive she was, I felt my nipples begin to show a little arousal. I felt embarrassed and dressed as quickly as possible to get away from this strange situation.

We walked along the top of the beach. I was glad to be wearing the shorts. Although I appreciated the coolness of the dress in the hot weather in Cyprus and I understood my Mother's wish for me to get used to wearing them in public, something that I had not had a lot of opportunity to do at home, I still felt more comfortable being outside in a familiar item of clothing. Although the colour, pastel orange, was not one that I'd worn before.

A football came flying towards me

"Hey love can you chuck the ball back?", came a shout from one of about a dozen boys standing on a reduced size football pitch marked in the sand.

I trapped the ball in the air with my right foot, transferred it between my knees, head, shoulders and left foot before flicking it up with my left foot and hitting on the volley towards the goal, about 25 metres away. The goalie shaped to catch it but the curve I had put on the ball took it past him into the back of the net.

"Great shot, love.", said the boy who had asked for the ball back, "Want to join our game?"

"Sorry I can't now, maybe tomorrow", I called back, and continued walking on with Amarjit.

There was silence. I turned towards my new friend. She was staring at me with a strange expression on her face.

"What's wrong?", I asked a little concerned.

"Wow that was amazing. I've never seen a girl, well really never seen anyone do that trick before. Were did you learn that?"

"I play a bit of football", I replied, "it was luck really, half of the time I misjudge the distance or swerve"

At that moment we went past a little shop selling trinkets and came across a crowd of people congregating around a small area of sand where 2 pairs of guys were standing either side of a high net.

"Hey Beach volleyball", I said, "Let's take a look".

We watched the fast and furious game proceed. The crowd roared on their chosen team. Eventually the pair wearing the black bathing shorts was victorious over the pair in blue shorts.

"And it's a victory for John and Michael. Well done both teams for a well fought final", came the voice of the announcer. "Remember everyone tomorrow's tournament will start at the usual time of 10am. Only ten euros per team and competitions at youth and adult level. "

I looked at Amarjit.

"I would love to play beach volleyball. Have you ever played?", I asked.

"Yes a few times, but I don't have a bikini to wear", she replied a little sadly.

"I can help you out on that one. My Mother brought three months supply for me"

We agreed to meet the next day and after swapping clothes we parted. I made my way at a leisurely pace back to the villa.

The Oaf stood partly blocking the front door. As I pushed past him he pressed his body into mine, casually squeezing my bum. He lowered his head towards me and I smelt the beer on his breath.

"I know your secret girly-boy", he whispered into my ear as his fetid breath washed over my face. I walked a metre away, turned around, looked at him and assumed an angry posture.

"What are you talking about?", I demanded

"I saw you kick the ball on the beach. I have only ever seen one person a BOY, do that sort of trick before. I can see quite a likeness, so I don't know what sort of trick you're pulling. I like the goods on offer though", he replied with a bit of a drunken slur in his voice.

I dodged the hand trying to grope me and stepped towards him.

"For your information GIRLS play football too!", I said sarcastically, "and one other thing"

"What?", he asked vacantly

In the quiet and stillness of our villa the 'crack' of my hand hitting the Oaf's face was frighteningly loud.

"Don't ever molest me again!"

I walked away trying to look more confident and assured than I felt. How could my Mother's plan for me to be 'stealth' as a girl, as she had described it, succeed if I could be outed this easily. I turned the corner and ran into my parents’ room. My Mother had just finished changing.

"Oh Mum, he knows, he knows all about me. What am I going to do?"

....I felt Amarjit's soft, oiled hand slowly trace the outline of my shoulders and gently, caressingly, move down my spine. Her hands continued their tender, exploration of my back as she massaged the oil into me. She then completed her circuit and I felt tingles of pleasure as she slowly moved her fingers up my side, with the lightest of touches. "How does that feel?", she asked "Mmmmm......Wonderful", I replied.   The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.6 - Feelings by Alys

---

Part 6
 
The mid morning sun blazed in the clear, blue sky. I was grateful for the wide brimmed sun hat and the cool yellow summer dress I was wearing as I walked with Amarjit along a quiet stretch of coastline. We had just been to visit the 'Tombs of the Kings', a series of incredible tombs cut out of the rock, for the third time in the week that we had known each other and had decided to explore the surrounding area.

I glanced at my beautiful Asian friend walking next to me and felt so happy to be in her company. Since we had met, seven days previously, I had spent many hours of each day with her and her family. I felt so relaxed and happy being with her, we seemed to be on such a wavelength. I had another reason to spend a lot of time with her, as since the incident with the Oaf, when my Mother had reassured me that there was no reason to fear exposure since he was just guessing, I had ensured that the only time I came across him was either in my parents' company or with Amarjit.

As the warm breeze made the skirt of my light dress flutter a little I reflected on how much more comfortable I now felt wearing girls' clothes, looking like a girl and being constantly treated as a girl. It was such a relief to no longer have to conceal my real gender because of people knowing me before as a boy. I was also such a joy to have made a friend who only knew me as a girl and treated me accordingly. It was also the most time I had spent with any girl, since apart from the girls in our local 'gang', I had mostly with boys in the various sports' teams I had been involved with.

"This way Celyn", Amarjit indicated, pointing to a narrow path that seemed to lead down to the shore.

We made our way carefully down the steep slope until, with a sudden turn of the path, we descended into a little inlet, with a narrow area of sand/shingle, bounded on three sides by high rock walls.

"Wow", we said as a chorus and looked at each other.

"What an amazing little place", I said.

"Yes I hoped there might be somewhere like this here", said Amarjit, "It's perfect".

It was indeed perfect for our other reason for walking along the coast. I took out the two bikinis from my bag. We had been hoping to use them to play beach volley ball but Amarjit had said that it was impossible for her to wear one while her family might come across her. Her parents would have gone ballistic to see her in one, she had told me. Luckily our present location meant that there was no chance of accidental discovery.

"Which one do you want to wear?", I asked, "the pink one or..............the pink one?"

"Hard choice", she replied laughingly, "what about the..........pink one?" She knew my Mother's taste.

I handed Amarjit the yellow trimmed one and took the blue trimmed pink bikini out of my bag with my beach towel.

Within a few minutes we stood assessing ourselves in our beachwear. The yellow and pink matched Amarjit's golden brown skin and black hair almost perfectly.

"You are really beautiful Amarjit", I said, looking at her in admiration.

"Not as much as you", she replied returning my gaze.

I felt embarrassed so quickly changing the atmosphere, I ran towards the sea.

"Last one in is a ..............", I yelled

She ran after me, calling, "is a what?"

"A Londoner!", I replied, as I reached the water and carried on running, holding my arms across my insanely bouncing breasts, up until my thighs were submerged.

Amarjit splashed after me and threw handfuls of water at my back, "I am a Londoner, you crazy Welsh girl"

I turned and splashed water at her, "That must be why you were last in then", I replied.

She shook her head and laughed and then it was time to enjoy swimming in the warm clear Mediterranean waters.

We swam around for quite a while, looking at the little fish moving in complex zigzags, the colourful underwater plants and the abstract rock formations. Eventually hunger pangs reminded us that it was nearly mid-day so we walked out of the water. The experience of walking out of the sea with my wet bikini clinging tightly to my body, and my wet hair dripping down on my bare shoulders was very new.

We lay in the sun to dry out and ate our sandwiches slowly. After ten minutes or so I felt dry on my back and knew it was time to renew the sunscreen.

"Do you want me to do that", Amarjit asked when she saw me with the bottle of sunscreen in my hand.

"Sure", I said, "that would be nice". I handed the bottle to her, removed my bikini top and lay on my front, exposing my back. She spread the oily sunscreen on her hands and started rubbing it in.

She knelt at the base of my towel and began rubbing it in my legs, with a firm, smooth action. She moved up the towel as her hands glided up over my thighs, my lower back and then finally my shoulders and arms. It was so relaxing and very pleasant. She paused with her hands gently touching my neck then I felt Amarjit's soft, oiled hand slowly trace the outline of my shoulders and gently, caressingly, move down my spine. Her hands continued their tender, exploration of my back as she massaged the oil into me. She then completed her circuit and I felt tingles of pleasure as she slowly moved her fingers up my side, with the lightest of touches.

"How does that feel?", she asked

"Mmmmm......Wonderful", I replied.

"Do you want me to do your front too?", she asked a little tentatively.

"Oh..yes..please", I replied, smiling at her.

I turned over onto my back. She repeated the process starting at my feet, which she spent a while massaging. She slowly worked her way up my legs, spending time caressing the sensitive, inside of my thighs. I felt little waves of pleasure radiating through my body, I felt my nipples engorge with arousal.

"Can I ask you something?", she said

"Yes, anything", I replied

Her hands had reached my tummy and she was rubbing the oil into me while caressing me gently. Her gentle touch on the sides of my body sent little electric jolts through me.

"Have you ever kissed a girl?"

Her magical hands were now gently rubbing and squeezing my breasts. I shivered a little with the pleasure. She gently fingered my nipples.

"I've never kissed anyone", I replied.

"Really...that is surprising", she said.

Her hands were slowly caressing the top of my breasts and my shoulders

"Would you like me to kiss you?", she asked suggestively.

I nodded my head, finding it hard to speak.

Amarjit gently kissed me on my cheek and then on my lips. I responded hungrily and pulled her down to me. I reached up and began caressing her breasts. Our bodies seemed to merge into one beautiful experience of loving, mutual pleasure, joy and ecstasy.

Eventually, our passions sated, we lay together, gently caressing each others' naked bodies.

"Was that your first time?", Amarjit asked, tenderly.

"Yes", I replied almost in a whisper

"Oh sweetie, that is so lovely"

"What about you?" I asked.

She told me that she had only had one previous lover, whom she had met in a cafe in Southall. Amy, was a 19 year old student from Australia. She told me about their furtive meetings, since she had had to be completely secretive because her family would have been very angry and her life would be extremely difficult if they knew she was a lesbian.

"But I don't understand how you could never even have kissed anyone before", she said,"it doesn't make sense, someone as beautiful as you should be turning the girls, or the boys?, down"

I felt a familiar churning in my stomach as a little of the old despair returned. I stood up and dressed quickly.

"What are you doing?"

"Amarjit, I think I'm in love with you but there's something I have to tell you and I'm afraid that you might be angry with me and want me to leave", I said as tears began to well in my eyes

"I can't imagine anything that you could say that could make me angry", she said with a hurt look in her eyes "but if that is what you want...", she handed me the bikini and dressed in her own clothes.

We sat down on our own towels, facing each other.

"So what is it?", she asked, "what on earth could be so momentous to make you behave like this?"

I was unsure how to explain but in the end the only way was to come straight to the point.

"I used to be a boy", I said with in a clear measured tone

She looked at me in complete disbelief, she laughed

"This is one of your windups, very funny.....no, you are serious?", she asked with surprise in her voice, "No way were you ever a boy!"

I slowly explained how events almost two years before had lead to the choice, that had been no choice, which had lead me to where I was now.

She moved over to me and took me in her arms. I sobbed quietly on her shoulder.

"It's all right my darling. Whatever you might have once been, you are now completely a girl. A beautiful, talented, funny and 100% girl"

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Six

I sat down next to Amarjit on the bench. A gentle breeze swirled the light silk of my beautiful sari. I reached out for her hand and grasped it tenderly. "Amarjit, this has been the best 10 days of my life". I said. "And for me too", she replied. Our lips met for a sweet and gentle kiss that became a passionate embrace   The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.7 - Surprises. by Alys

---

Part 7
 

"Goalllllllllll!", shouted the miniature footballer as the ball flew past Amarjit, the goalkeeper, and into the back of the net.

"23 - 18, still time for you to equalise before tea time", I said to the celebrating scorer as he high fived his team mate.

"Only Ten minutes before it's time to wash and change, children", came the melodious voice of Mrs Patel, the super striker’s mother, from the kitchen from where the aromatic smells of a delicious meal, in preparation, wafted

"Sorry, boys, looks like you're going to run out of time to win the cup", I said with a chuckle.

It was Amarjit and her family's last afternoon on their Cyprus holiday. Like many previous afternoons I was helping her look after her 10 year old twin brothers, Sathia and Nish, while her parents had gone off to spend time together. They had so appreciated my help that they had been happy for me to stay over, with my parents' grateful permission, and for Amarjit to share her bed with me , unaware of the deeper, physical attraction between us.

"Awww", said Nish

Is this the last time you can show us football tricks?", asked Sathia

"I 'm afraid so", I replied, "Do you want me to show you some step overs again?"

"Oh yes please", they chorused

After a few more minutes of football tricks the two boys were shepherded away to clean up and change.

"We're very grateful to you for the help you have given Amarjit in looking after the twins. We have two surprises for you. I think if you go with Amarjit she will show you the first one"

Amarjit smiled at me and beckoned. I followed her to her bedroom. There lying on the bed was one of the most the most beautiful sari's I had ever seen. An intoxicating mixture of embroidered patterns on the delicate silk material fashioned in beautiful shades of orange and brown.

"It is beautiful, really beautiful", I said

"I'm glad you like it, it's a present for you. I hope you like it. It's one of mine so the choli should fit you; we're about the same size on top."

"What! It’s much too much", I exclaimed!

"But you want to try it on, I'm sure"

"YES PLEASE"

"Come on then, let me give you the whole works", Amarjit said, as she lead me towards the bathroom.

Locking the door behind us, she began taking her clothes off.

"What are we doing here?", I asked

"Well we both need to wash and get ready before getting dressed so I thought we could save water, do a little for the environment and have a shower......together", she replied with a sensuous smile.

"But there are people around?", I questioned.

"It's OK", she reassured, "Mum will be busy with the twins and then getting the meal ready and Dad has gone somewhere....and the sound of the shower will cover any other sounds.........."

There was something so sensual and arousing about two soft, wet, soapy bodies close together under a hot watery caress. We kissed passionately, caressed lovingly, touched inquiringly, slid together and fingered each other to a beautiful climax.

After drying Amarjit did my make with a look appropriate for the clothes, she pinned back my hair and decorated it with some beautiful flowers. Finally she helped me to put the sari on. It looked a very complicated process but once she had shown me how to fold the material I knew that I would be able to do it for myself in the future.

"How do I look?", I asked, as I did a twirl.

"Fantastic, have a look for yourself, there's a full length mirror in the hall."

I was stunned with the image in the mirror. The clothes, hair and make up had given me the look of a sophisticated young woman, maybe in her early 20's. Time seemed to stop as I stared at this unbelievable transformation trying hard to see anything of the former male me. I was interrupted by the image of a similar stunningly attractive person as Amarjit stood next to me in pink and gold sari that contrasted so well with her black hair.

"Wow, you are so beautiful", I said and turned to hug and kiss her.

She gently held me a little apart

"Plenty of time for this later, my sweet, we don't want to spoil our makeup"

We walk in, arm in arm, into the dining room and I almost recoiled in shock to see my parents sitting at the table with the Patel family.

"Hello darling", said my Mother smiling the broadest of smiles, "This was the Patel's second surprise for you and don't you look beautiful!"

"You look very pretty, Celyn", added my Dad, smiling cheerfully.

We all took photos of each other in various group scenes and then settled down for one of the most pleasant and appetising meals that I had eaten in a long time

I sat down next to Amarjit on the bench. My parents had left after the meal as I had wanted to say a personal farewell to Amarjit. We had talked about the future and whether we might meet again. Amarjit had gently reminded me of our ages and the different directions our life was going. We had promised to keep in touch via Bebo and Myspace. I wished Amarjit's parents, goodnight and then walked arm in arm with my love to the end of the street. A gentle breeze swirled the light silk of my beautiful sari. I reached out for her hand and grasped it tenderly.

"Amarjit, this has been the best 10 days of my life". I said.

"And for me too", she replied.

Our lips met for a sweet and gentle kiss that became a passionate embrace.

"I love you", I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too", she whispered back.

We disentangled with promises of the final farewell at the airport and with a final goodnight greeting I walked towards the town.

I slowly walked along the sea front in bit of a daydream. I thought of all the wonderful moments that had happened. I felt a sadness that such a lovely experience was ending. These feelings and these strong emotions focused on one another person, who miraculously felt the same, was so new and so powerful and so wonderful. But now it was ending so soon.

It was a dark evening with a moonless sky. On a whim I walked down some steps to the beach and slowly walked along the beach wall, brushing my right hand lightly along the rough, ancient stone wall. I felt the warm sea breeze fresh on my face, fluttering the light fabric of my sari and blowing some stray stands of my hair across my face. I reflected on how many things had changed for me during this holiday.

I was roughly and painfully grabbed on my left upper arm and pushed with a thud against the sea wall. Pain shot from my back and head with the impact. Another hand grabbed me on my right shoulder and then my arms were forced up above my head as my assailant pressed his body hard against me to prevent me moving my legs.

"Hello sexy, what a surprise meeting you here, and alone for once.", said the Oaf in a slightly slurring drunken voice.

The smell of his putrid, beery breath on my face was disgusting. He crushed his body into me and tried to kiss me, I instinctively turned my head away. I felt weak and vulnerable for the first time in my life. My mind raced through some frightening scenarios. The Oaf was about 5 inches taller, about one and a half times heavier and quite a bit stronger. He pushed his body into mine and pressed his lips towards me, I turned my head away again. The smell of his fetid and sweaty body was making me feel nauseous.

"Come on sexy, don't be shy", he slobbered over my face , "now what about if I have a sample of the goods".

He pushed my hands together to hold me back with one hand while with his other, freed hand, he pulled my sari away, ripped my choli and began to very roughly paw at my breasts. I felt totally, physically defenceless to his assault and felt any resolve to resist slowly dissipate as a general feeling of despondency slowly seeped into my soul.

"Nice pair, doll. You couldn't have ever have been much of a boy to have tits like these. Wait till I tell my team mates that I fucked Aberllwyd's wonder player", he sneered at me.

My head cleared in a moment as his threatened further humiliation reminded me of the other reality of the situation . He may have all the physical advantages but I was many times cleverer than him. I considered my options and formulated a plan. I turned my head towards him and quickly kissed him on the lips, turning away quickly before my heaving stomach, relieved itself of its contents.

"Oh big boy", I said in my sexiest voice, "How did you know that I like my men to be strong and tough. It's taken you a long time to make your move"

He looked at me in surprise but before his addled brain could make sense of this turnaround I continued my charm offensive.

"I bet your dick is nice and thick. I just love having big ones stuffed inside me" I rubbed my groin up against his penis and felt it harden.

"I want to see what you've got, you handsome beast, Drop your trousers to show me", I said with as much authority as possible, being very deliberate in my choice of words.

With his drunken sexual arousal overwhelming his last shreds of common sense he took his hands off me to obey my implicit command and moved back a little to drop his trousers and underpants. He held his erect penis in his hand , like a little boy showing off a fish he had just caught, and looked up towards me with an expression of pride spreading across his face.

My vicious kick caught him square on his testicles. As if in slow motion the Oaf's facial expression changed from one of pride to one of surprise and then finally to one shock and pain as he doubled up and brought both hands to hold his groin.

"You Bitch!", he shouted between groans.

I kicked his legs backward and pushed him on his face, quickly grabbed his trousers and underpants and then stepping a few metres away took out my camera from my shoulder bag and snapped a rapid series of flash pictures of him.

"You stupid idiot! No way you are going to humiliate me for the rest of my life.", I yelled at him, " If you try to say anything to insult me then these pictures will be up on your team's Facebook page",

"And by the way, I wouldn't try and walk through the town without any trousers on, the police crack down hard on streakers here"

I turned and ran in the direction of the town where there would be people and light and relative safety. The Oaf's cursing and moaning rapidly disappeared into the distance. I came across a group of overflowing community rubbish containers and spent a few seconds pushing the Oaf's clothes far down into the dirtiest, and smelliest one.

I reached some well lit streets and started walking as quickly as possible in a direction away from the place of assault. I held my damaged clothes together and was able to walk fairly well. I noticed a policeman walking towards me on the other side of the road. A sudden icing on the cake addition to my escape plan sprang to mind. I crossed over to speak to him.

"Excuse me officer", I said to attract his attention.

He looked at me all over, registered the ripped clothes and a slightly dishevelled look.

"Are you all right, young lady", he said in heavily accented English.

"Yes sir, it's only a slight tear in my top", I reassured him "But there is a drunken man on the beach with no trousers on who is attacking girls".

I pointed him in the right direction and after thanking me he jogged towards where, no doubt, the Oaf was still recuperating from my well timed field goal attempt. I smiled and carried on walking, a lot less anxious about possible pursuit.

A while later I reached the Patel's villa. It had seemed the safest option since there was a possibility that the Oaf could have escaped the police on the beach and be lying in wait near my villa. I stood by the door for a moment and suddenly began to shiver as the enormity of what had happened and what could have happened but for my quick thinking hit me.

I leant against the door and gently knocked on it. The door opened suddenly and I almost fell into the hallway.

"My dear, what has happened to you?", asked the concerned voice of Mr Patel, taking in my tired countenance.

"Someone tried to rape me", I blurted out.

"Oh no!", said Mr Patel.

I almost fell into his arms as my body went into shock. The next minutes were a blur of concerned voices and me being gently led to sit down. A little later I felt a cup being put into my hand and being encouraged to sip down hot, sugary milk with some sweet spices added. I slowly became aware that Amarjit and Mr and Mrs Patel were looking at me with very worried faces.

"What happened my dear?", asked Mrs Patel.

I gave them a brief, mumbled account of the events. Mr Patel then asked for my mobile phone and phoned my father. He then gave the phone to Amarjit to copy and to remove the photos.

I lay with Amarjit in bed, she held me in her arms and caressed my back. My parents had come quickly and after being reassured that I was OK had agreed that it was better for me to stay the night with the Patels while they returned to talk to the Oaf's family to ensure that they left the Villa before I returned. By this time my drunken assailant was being held in custody in the local Paphos police station.

"I wish there was something I could have done to avoid it all. What an end to your holiday. I'm sorry Amarjit", I whispered.

"It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong, you didn't lead him on, you didn't entice him, it wasn't the clothes you wear and all the other excuses that men, who are violent against women, use."

She held me tight

"That was a neat trick with the trousers though"

We both chuckled and drifted off to sleep in a loving embrace.

"Are you happy with your development so far? I mean by that the changes to your body shape and skin and of course do you have the size breasts that you wanted", she asked. "Wrong question Dr Thomas", I responded, "did I ever WANT breasts?"   The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.8 - Friends by Alys

---

Part 8
 
I was in a very dark room, only illuminated by moonlight through a window. I was lying on a bare wooden floor. I was being held down by four boys bigger than me. Each of them was using their body weight to press down on a limb.

My legs had been pulled apart.

I was naked.

I struggled as much as I could but it was impossible to move anything apart from my head. They began chanting:-

"Take the bitch, take the bitch...", over and over again, getting louder. I saw the outline of another boy approaching in the dim moonlight. I heard a familiar voice.

"No one to help you now, sexy, I still want what you promised and I'm going to take it now"

The Oaf, who was also naked with a very erect penis, lowered himself down on top of me. He thrust hard into me. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced. I felt I had been split in two.

I heard a wild animal scream, loud and piercing and continuous. It was my voice. I began to shake with the experience and then became aware of someone shaking me vigorously. I heard a voice.

"Wake up Celyn, wake up you're having a nightmare. Wake up now!", came the insistent demand of my Mother.

The horrific scene began to fade from my awareness to be replaced by the blurry image of my Mother looking down upon me. I opened my eyes and things began to focus.

"Whassup", I slurred, "what happened?"

My Mother, in her stylish nightdress, lay down on my bed and put her arms around me. I felt safe and secure and the residual terror dissipated quickly.

"You were having another nightmare, sweetheart, and you were screaming. It must have been bad."

"That's the third night in a row, Haf", came the voice of my Father from the side of the bed. "It's OK now Celyn we are here for you to protect you."

"Was it the same dream darling?", asked my Mother.

I nodded

"I wish I'd killed that dirty bastard!", my Father said venomously.

It was the third night that we had been back in Wales. After the Oaf's attack on me the rest of the holiday had been a complete waste of time. I had said goodbye to Amarjit, the next morning, holding onto her until the last possible moment and then crying buckets after my first love had flown away in the plane. My parents had been very curious about what they saw as an over-reaction to the departure of a holiday friend, but had not pressed the issue. The Oaf had been released from prison the next morning but had not been charged with sexual assault as the police said it was just my word against his.

"We must do something, Haf", said my Father.

"Yes, this can't go on", she agreed. "OK, I have an idea. Celyn is due to see Dr Thomas next week, maybe we can bring the appointment forward and maybe she will be able to help"

"We can't just phone her up and see her straight away, she is a busy woman", I said.

"Well as it happens she did say to me that in view of your almost unique status that if ever an emergency arose she would do everything to accommodate us. I have her personal mobile number. I'll ring her in the morning. Now you settle back and try and get some sleep, love", my Mother replied.

After tucking me snugly in my bed and giving me a last hug and kiss, she and my Father left my bedroom.

It was almost noon when we all stepped out of the taxi outside a tall Edwardian building on Stryd Llydan in Cardiff. Dr Thomas had come up trumps and had promised to squeeze me in for half an hour between two appointments. We walked up to the front door and I pressed the bell under the large brass plaque that read 'Dr Enfys Thomas MBBs, DRCOG,MRCGP,FPcert'. She was the main consultant in South Wales who saw patients with Gender Dysphoria.

"Hello Celyn", she said cheerfully, when I was invited into her room by the receptionist a few minutes later.

"You are looking very pretty today, this is a radical change of image for you. I am surprised but also pleased", she said referring to my short denim skirt, low cut light blue T-shirt and make up.

"Thank you", I replied, smiling at the compliment, "I'm trying out different combinations of clothes to see which ones I am comfortable with"

"That's a very sound idea. Now let me just ask some of the regular questions that I ask all of my patients at this stage, you are now just over 18 months after starting hormones", she said as she glanced at my personal file on her computer screen.

"Are you happy with your development so far? I mean by that the changes to your body shape and skin and of course do you have the size breasts that you wanted", she asked.

"Wrong question Dr Thomas", I responded, "did I ever WANT breasts?", I asked looking at her directly.

She stared at me with her mouth wide open. She did a quick double take and then smiled.

"I am sorry Celyn, I have had a busy day and had forgotten how different your situation is to the rest of my patients. Let me rephrase that question".

"Do you think that the changes to your body, up until now, will enable you to live successfully as a girl?"

I paused for a minute and then spoke carefully.

"It's not the body that is the problem, I'm used to it now and as long as I don't conceal my shape then everyone assumes I am a girl. The problem is how I feel about the whole situation. Although I thought that I was beginning to come to terms with that until...."

"Until what Celyn?"

I felt my eyes getting moist, a single small tear slowly emerged and slowly slid down my cheek. I wiped it away.

"Until someone tried to rape me!", I blurted out. I put my head in my hands and began to sob.

"My poor dear", said Dr Thomas, putting her hand lightly on my shoulder.

"Please tell me about it, take as long as you like"

Slowly, haltingly I gave Dr Thomas an account of the holiday and the Oaf's attack on me. She gently asked me questions from time to time to clarify things. She smiled when I mentioned my holiday romance. At one stage she had to briefly call her secretary to rearrange some appointments. Finally I had told her everything about my experiences in Cyprus. I felt emotionally drained but also much less anxious.

"Thank you for telling me that Celyn. It is a sad story, although Amarjit sounds like a wonderful person."

"Yes", I said smiling.

"I am so sorry that your opportunity to begin to find out what being a girl full-time will mean to you has been set back"

Dr Thomas called her receptionist to ask my parents in. They came in looking anxiously at me.

"Mr and Mrs Morus, Celyn has told me the tale about your bitter-sweet holiday. There are some positives from the experience but the assault at such a vulnerable time in her transition has set her back quite a bit. I think she will need some more specific counselling to help her to move on from this. We have a well woman clinic at my NHS practice. I'll refer her there to see Nerys Williams, the rape counsellor, if you're happy with that? Also I would like to see Celyn again soon, say in about two weeks?"

My parents thanked Dr Thomas and we left, stopping briefly to arrange the next appointment with the receptionist.

A couple of hours later I was just finishing an email to Amarjit on my computer in my room when my mobile phone beeped the arrival of a text message. It was from Sion.

hi cel how r u? gang meeting in romero's at 3. want 2 come?

ok, how shall I come?

as urself :))))

Half an hour later, after being dropped off by my Mum, I stood outside Romero's, on the high street in Y Fenni, still uncertain about the decision I had made not to conceal my gender for the first time in meeting the gang. While I summoned enough courage to face up to my friends I studied some of the posters in the cafe window. They were an eclectic mix of alternative medical therapies, health foods and progressive causes that reflected the clientele of Romero's. I was reading about a future meeting about climate change when I felt a touch on my shoulder.

"Hey Celyn, you look great", said Sion

I turned and smiled at my best friend.

"You too Sion"

"Are you coming in, the gang are all in there, I saw you waiting by the window and thought that you might be a little nervous".

"I'm really not sure about this Sion. The reality of facing up to them all feels a lot harder than how I imagined it"

"Come on Celyn, they won't eat you.", said Sion and turned to walk into the cafe.

"OK, let's get it over with", I said with a sudden resolve and followed him.

"By the way", said Sion, with a chuckle, as we walked through the cafe door, "I don't see any bikini lines on your tan"

I blushed hard and for a moment felt that my face was going to burn away.

We walked over to a far corner table in the crowded cafe. The other members of the gang looked up to see Sion approaching.

"Hey Sion, I thought you were going to fetch Celyn", said Sioned a shortish thin girl with long black hair.

"Yes, you said he was outside", said Sian, a plumpish girl of medium height.

"Who's your friend, anyway, Sion, aren't you going to introduce us?", asked Ceri, a tall thin boy.

"Hi guys", I said, "Don't you recognise me?"

There was a stunned silence. The faces of my friends were ones of total incomprehension, bewilderment and shock. At last the quiet voice of Branwen, an athletic tall girl broke the silence.

"Is that you Celyn?", she asked.

"But you're a girl!", exclaimed Ceri and his eyes wandered down from my face to somewhere lower down.

"Of course she's a girl", said Sion, "that's 10 out of 10 for observation Ceri"

The others laughed. Ceri looked a little crestfallen.

"Yes, Mr Clever Clogs, I remember sharing a changing room and showers with Celyn and HE was definitely a BOY!", Ceri retorted.

"Maybe Ceri needs to go to .......", I began

"Specsavers!", everyone chorused, apart from Ceri who was still looking a little annoyed and confused.

"OK guys, everyone sit down and I'll explain", I said.

For the next quarter of an hour I gave my friends a brief outline of the circumstances of my gender change. I wondered if I was going to have to do all these long explanations every time I came across people who knew me from before.

"That explains something that always puzzled me", said Ceri.

"What is that?", I asked

"How, when you came back to school after you were away in hospital, you never changed in the changing rooms, you always wore your games kit to school and left with one of your parents at the end of the day, instead of showering and changing in school, even those times when we had been playing and got muddy or wet"

"But I don't understand why you hid all this Celyn", said Sian.

"Yes, what's so bad about being a girl?", asked Branwen.

"Nothing wrong with being a girl, because that's what I am legally now. There are two main reasons for the deception though. One reason is I wanted to carry on playing for the teams, and it was quite easy to conceal the small changes that happened at first"

"What was the other reason", asked Sioned.

"How would you like to have go through every day of your school life constantly being referred to as 'The Tranny', 'The Freak', "The Boy-girl", "The Weirdo", "The Pevert" or a thousand other insults equally horrible?"

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Eight

"I'd love to go and see that film again", I said "Shall we go and see it then?", Sion asked almost hesitantly. "Sure that would be fun.", I replied, "Oh do you mean just the two of us, like...on a date?"   The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.9 - Dating by Alys

---

Part 9
 

The 54 bus from Aberllwyd pulled into the not very salubrious bus station in Casnewydd, the third largest city of Wales by size but not by atmosphere on yet another grey drizzly July morning. The gang had persuaded me to come with them to hang out and maybe to do some shopping. I had not been very enthusiastic. It all seemed too much too soon.

We jumped noisily out of the bus to take in the general incoherence of Edwardian stone, 60's concrete , 80's glass and steel and 21st century knock it all down again, that characterised our nearest shopping centre.

"It's such a dump isn't it?", opinion-ed Ceri

We all nodded our grunted our approval.

"But there are some good shops at least", said Sioned.

"But first things first guys", stated Sion, "I need some refreshments after that stuffy bus"

"Where shall we go then?", asked Sian

"Let's go to......", said Ceri, pausing for effect

"Starbucks!", the rest of us chorused to the amusement and irritation, in roughly equal measure, of other bus station users nearby.

Ten minutes later we were all ensconced in comfortable armchairs drinking our variety of cappuchinos, lattes and hot chocolates.

"I'm still not convinced this is such a good idea", I remarked.

"Don't worry", said Branwen, "it'll be fine".

"But what if we bump into anyone we know? Can I pretend to be one of your distant cousins on a visit?", I asked.

"It'll be OK", said Sian, "We have a plan"

"A plan? Since when have we ever had a plan", chipped in Sion, teasingly.

"There's always a first time", remarked Branwen mysteriously.

I began to feel a bit concerned about what was going to happen.

"What's going on here, guys, what have you cooked up?", I asked.

Sioned, tapped her nose and said "You will soon find out, just follow our lead"

After a bit more general banter and chat about holidays and music we left Starbucks to make our way towards Next and River Island. I spotted JJB and remembered I needed some good sports bras. As we were about to enter as a group I was still feeling very stressed and I almost walked into one of the school football team, Paul Jones, I stepped aside at the last moment.

"Hi, Paul, how are you doing?", asked Sian.

"Hi Sian, hi guys.how are you all doing?", he responded.

"We're fine, said Sioned, just doing some shopping and by the way Celyn's a girl now", she said indicating me,"See ya in school for the results"

"Um what? Oh OK" he said looking confused to say the least as we walked on into the shop.

Five minutes later, mission in JJB accomplished, we were back on the main pedestrian street.

"Hi Annie!", yelled Sioned to another of our year group on the other side of the street.

"Hey Sioned!", she yelled back, "How are you guys?"

"We're fine and Celyn's a girl now. See you next Thursday at school", shouted Sioned as we walked on in the opposite direction.

Annie paused for a few moments looking at all of us trying to make sense of what Sioned had said and then shrugged her shoulders and continued.

I was momentarily shocked by the interaction. Then I caught up with Sioned and touched her on the shoulder"

"Hey Sioned did you have to shout that out? We might as well have a big banner to carry around to tell everyone in Casnewydd. "Celyn is a girl", "Celyn is a girl"!", I said a little angrily.

"Now that's an idea", said Ceri, "Or maybe we could hire a sign writing plane?"

"STOP!", I said loudly, attracting strange looks from some people walking past.

"What is going on here?", I hissed at the gang. I felt the anger beginning to well up inside me. Was I only a sort of freak show to my friends? At that dispiriting thought a strong feeling of despair began to quickly replace the anger. I turned and began to slowly walk away.

I heard someone quickly walk after me and put an arm around my shoulder.

"Wait Celyn", said the pleasant voice of Sion, "This is to help you, not to embarrass you. Let me explain"

He led me over to a bench and sat beside me while the others waited out of earshot.

"We discussed your idea of going to college and trying to leave your past behind. You said it was called being 'stealth'. Obviously if that is what you feel is best for you then we will help you as much as we can, even if it means that we are no longer in your life."

"Thanks"

"But we wanted to first show you that there is another way"

"What do you mean?"

"You know that we all accept you completely for what you are now, even if it wasn't your choice, it's a life that is worth living. Sometimes it may seem like a huge price to have paid but we think that there is a way to make the cost of your gender change a lot less"

"I still don't understand Sion", I said shaking my head.

"OK, let me be more direct. We thought that if we could show you that most people will accept you for what you are now, even knowing you before then you will see that there is an alternative to cutting all links with your past. That's what we have been trying to do by telling people without making it seem some big deal."

"I see", I said as I began to grasp their plan.

"So what do you say, do we give it a go?"

"OK", I replied hesitantly. "But there is one condition"

"What's that?"

"Any negative reactions, any insulting comments and we drop it and go home"

"Sure, OK, but I think it might work"

For the next hour we wandered from shop to shop, looking at clothes, DVD's, CD's, mobiles, gadgets, shoes and even buying a few things. Every five minutes of so we would bump into someone from our school and the gang would mention in passing my gender switch. The responses were varied but never negative. Most would glance at me, take in my revealing low cut cami, the result of Branwen's ulterior motive this morning, and see the reality of the statement and either carry on with the rest of the conversation or make a positive remark like 'hey cool' or 'nice one'. By the time we had reached our lunch destination, the arts centre 'Y Ganolfan', I was feeling really relaxed and feeling perhaps there was a chance of being open and accepted.

I noticed some new colourful, posters on the notice board next to the cafe. I stopped to look at them.

"Hey Sion", I said, he stopped next to me while the others walked on to the cafe.

"Look there's a series of Welsh films on here, Solomon and Gaenor, that film is really good"

"Yes didn't it almost win an Oscar", he said

"Yes, and it had Ioan Griffith in it"

"Of course before he found fame but not fortune by wearing elasticated clothes in Fantastic Four"

I continued to scan the list.

"Wow, 'Very Annie Mary'. That is an original film. Have you seen it?", I asked.

"Yes, we got the video. Now that has the most original opening scene of any film, Jonathan Pryce singing an aria while driving a bread van, hilarious", he replied.

"I'd love to go and see that film again", I said

"Shall we go and see it then?", Sion asked almost hesitantly.

"Sure that would be fun.", I replied, "Oh do you mean just the two of us, like...on a date?"

"Well only if you want to and wouldn't be embarrassed or something"

I smiled my most radiant smile at him

"I'd love to Sion"

His face took on a joyful, happy countenance.

"Come on, I'm starving and the others will be wondering what we're up to", I said, walking after the gang.

An hour later, after a pleasant light lunch in the arts centre and more banter and chat we were sitting on the bus slowly moving, through the smelly, noisily, semi organised traffic, out of Casnewydd. I sat in the corner by the window as we occupied the back seat in our exuberance.

For most of the journey back I pleaded tiredness and was quietly absent from the fun, only responding to questions when required. But in fact I was dwelling on the the new development in my friendship with Sion.

We were going on a date.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Nine

....we looked each other in the eye, and almost in slow motion our lips met. I felt something like an electric shock through my body as we kissed. Time seemed to stand still and we became oblivious to the rest of the world as we poured our emotions into each other with our embrace. I felt my nipples begin to swell with my incipient arousal, I felt something stiffen against me..   The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.10 - Bitter-Sweet by Alys

---

Part 10
 

I stepped off the train, at Caerdydd Canolog station, and straight away spotted my sister in her usual black goth clothes.

"Hey Taran", I yelled and ran over to give her a hug. She hugged me back and then held me and looked at me.

"I can't believe how much you have changed since the last time I saw you", said Taran taking in my new feminine haircut, pierced ears and wide loop earrings, printed summer dress, make up and sandals.

"You look amazing!"

"Thanks, you look pretty good too", I replied, smiling.

"Only my usual stuff. Anyway come on", she added, taking my arm, "I know a cool little bar near the station where we can have a drink and chat"

"But I'm only 16, they won't let me in"

"Don't worry you look at least 19 in those clothes and anyway you don't have to have beer or anything, so it'll be alright"

We walked a few hundred metres from the station, up a small side street, to a little pub called Y Deryn Du. Inside it was quite dark with posters of rock singers and bands all over the wall. A loud Nirvana track was playing.

"It's a bit noisy here", I said raising my voice.

"It's OK we can go to the beer garden at the back. Through that blue door. What do you want to drink", Taran asked, pointing at the drinks list.

I indicated my choice and made my way out into the garden, leaving Taran with the joyful task of communicating with a young man, as goth as her, who was working behind the bar. A few minutes later she arrived with a blackcurrant and soda for me and a bottle of Carlsberg for herself. She sat down, next to me, on the comfortable park bench in the warm mid-morning sun.

"So what have you been up to then?", she asked. "Mum has told me a few things but I'm not really up to speed on the latest"

I proceeded to fill Taran in on everything that happened over the last month. She was a little surprised when I mentioned Amarjit and so she asked the obvious question to which I had to nod and smile. She gave me a hug.

"Well I always wondered if my brother would be gay, but never a lesbian!"

She was visibly angry when I mentioned the Oaf.

"If I ever come across the bastard then I know of another use for garden shears", she said with quite a bit of anger in her voice.

Finally I relayed the latest developments in becoming 'out' to people I knew and my planned 'date' with Sion.

"Well it sounds good from the point of view of your friends, are you thinking about going back to school? What about Sion, how do you feel about him?" she asked in her usual rapid fire questioning.

"I'm still not sure about school, it all sounds a bit daunting being in an environment where everyone knew me as a boy for five years, although I think I would be lonely at college, how can I tell people there about my past? As far as Sion is concerned, I'm not sure. It feels different with him than it did with Amarjit.", I said a little wistfully thinking about my holiday romance.

"Anyway that's enough about me, how about you and your exciting life in the big city", I asked turning to look at my elder sister.

There then followed a quarter hour of what gigs she had been to, who was living/breaking up with whom, what her feminist group were doing and how she was a bit bored working in the vegetarian peace cafe. Finally she turned at me and said:-

"Do you know what? I think Mum wants to succeed with you in a way that she didn't with me with the feminine look"

"I don't mind it sometime, but most of the time it's too much hassle", I replied

"I suppose I rebelled against her constant nagging to look pretty", said Taran, "anyway that's enough gassing it's time to take you shopping"

We spent the couple of hours in as many of the lovely little clothes shops in Caerdydd that we could fit in. We bought a few items each, finally I spotted a beautiful peasant skirt in a small boutique which Taran encouraged me to buy.

Too soon it was time to rush back to the station and jump on the 2.30pm to Aberllwyd just as it was about to leave. With a last wave to my sister I left the metropolis behind.

At just after six my Mother dropped us outside Y Ganolfan".

I wore the peasant skirt, that I had bought earlier, and a crop top under a thin cardi to meet Sion. He looked handsome in his open necked shirt and tight jeans.

We made our way into the auditorium and found some seats near the back a little away from the remainder of the sparse audience.

The film started with the titles, 'Very Annie Mary', and then with it's completely bonkers opening of a bread van with speakers driving around windy valley roads with Jonanthan Pryce singing along in Italian, with his beautiful tenor voice, to an aria. We soon got involved in the bitter sweet story of a village's attempt to raise funds for a trip to Disneyland for a young girl with terminal cancer, while holding evangelical church services with scratch and sniff bibles. It could only be based in the South Wales valleys I thought as I laughed at the scence.

I felt the emotions of the central story and held Sion's hand for reassurance. He looked at me strangely but carried on holding my hand and squeezed back. The end of the film came too soon and we made our way out of the cinema and paused in the foyer.

"That was really nice Sion", I said holding onto him, "thanks for asking me"

"Thanks for coming, I really enjoyed it too", we looked each other in the eye, and almost in slow motion our lips met. I felt something like an electric shock through my body as we kissed. Time seemed to stand still and we became oblivious to the rest of the world as we poured our emotions into each other with our embrace.I felt my nipples begin to swell with my incipient arousal, I felt something stiffen against me.

"Hey Sion, how are you doing?", came the gruff voice of Elfed Williams, crashing into our idyll. He was an occasional not very skillful football team member who was generally too eager to injure opponents to be picked too often to play.

"Whassup Sion, who's the girl?", asked Elfed's mate Alex Johnson, an equally brutish individual.

Sion looked up a little tensely.

"Hi Elfed, hi Sion, this is Celyn Angharad ", he replied giving me a new middle name to try an disguise my identity.

I smiled at them trying not to expose too much of my face.

"She is a sexy piece", continued Elfed, staring at my body and obviously mentally undressing me. I felt sick.

"I'm sure I've seen her somewhere before, and I'm sure I would remember a hot thing like her, can't think where though, what school does she go to Sion?"

I felt myself boiling with the two boys' offensive attitudes.

"Sorry guys we have to go we're waiting for a lift home, bye", said Sion leading me away before I could explode.

As we stood waiting for my Mother I became aware of the 2 lumps in heated conversation, they kept looking at me, obviously undecided. At that moment my Mother pulled up and unfortunately not in the anonymous blue VW Golf but in her very obvious and noticeable yellow Vauxhall Astra hatchback. She waved at us. We began to make our way towards the car. I hoped against hope that our two 'friends' had not recognised the car, no such luck

"Hey Sion", yelled Alex "how's the tranny freak in bed? Has she shown you her dick yet?"

I froze

"Come here girly-boy and show us your silicone tits!", shouted the other lump

I ran to the car and threw myself in the back seat, Sion hurried after me. My Mother looked at us strangely and drove off quickly. I slumped down in my seat with a dreadful feeling of defeat overwhelming me.

"How can I go back to school now? I wish I had died!"

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Ten

I slipped his cycle shorts down for him to step out of and did the same to my own. Our hands hungrily sought each others' bodies.   The Price to Pay - Vol. 3.11 (Conclusion) - Hope by Alys

---

Part 11
 

It was a hot late August afternoon. I felt a few drips of sweat dripping down from my neck to my back as I cycled, behind Sion, up the last hill before the turning for my house. We had decided to do a fast, fairly circular circuit of the minor roads around the at the top of the valley. This had meant a switchback of steep descents and steep climbs. It had been lots of fun.

As we sped along the road I reflected on the two weeks since the arts centre visit. I had shared my time between being at home or going out either with my family, or with Sion and the gang. I had ensured that I was aways not in places where we might bump into people I knew from school. I had lost a lot of the self belief that my friends had helped me gain. This was the first time I had spent any time with Sion since the arts centre visit.

As was our usual pattern on these rides we were both watching each other carefully as we neared the final straight to my house. Sion was always confident of overcoming any sprint that I tried. I looked at my options and couldn't see any potentially successful ones and was resigning myself to a tame end to the ride when Sion moved a little into the middle of the road, his obvious intention being to make it further for me to go around him. We passed the dip and Sion began to visibly relax and to ease off the pace. Suddenly I spurted through the slight gap that Sion had left between himself the grass verge and was through the open gate into the driveway of my house.

"You cheat!", yelled Sion, as he followed me in

"You know the old adage Sion", I responded with a big grin, "it's never over till it's over!"

He laughed.

"I really enjoyed the ride, thanks for suggesting it", I said, storing my bike away.

"I'm glad you did, you have seemed very down these last couple of weeks", he said, smiling at me

"Nothing like an endorphin rush to raise the spirits"

"Anyway I'd better get back and shower, I feel really sweaty after cycling in this hot weather"

"Why don't you have one here, you can use the bathroom while I use my parents' en-suite"

"I don't have any clothes to wear after"

"I can lend you some of my boys cycle gear, they were always a size too big for me, in fact you can have any of my boys clothes that might fit you"

"OK, why not"

Sion put his bike next to mine in the garage and then followed me into the house. We stopped in the kitchen to get a drink and then went up to my bedroom. I took out the few cycle tops that I had.

"Let me see how they would look on you", I said, taking the dark blue one and holding it up against him. Having my fingers against his body holding up the cycle top made me want to touch him more. I caressed him on the shoulder. He turned and caressed my face.

"We have some unfinished business here I think", I said a bit breathy, dropping the cycle top and putting both hands on his shoulders.

"Yes", he said as he pulled me towards him and we kissed.

I pulled the hem of his jersey up while touching his stomach and chest. Sion let his hand slide down my my face to my left breast. He squeezed me gently. I pulled his jersy over his head and pulled mine off while he discarded his. He brought his face down to mine as I pulled his chest into my breasts.

I slipped his cycle shorts down for him to step out of and did the same to my own. Our hands hungrily sought each others' bodies.

I gently pushed Sion onto my bed onto his back still kissing him. I kissed him on the cheeks and then slowly slid down his body kissing and caressing him on his muscular chest, his taut stomach. I touched his erect penis, stroking it gently.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes", I whispered.

I held his penis firmly in my hand and licked the tip. It had a strange musty flavour. I took the tip into my mouth and began to slowly bob up and down on it.

"Oh my god Celyn"

After a few minutes of arousing him I reached over with my other hand to my side table. I took the tube of KY, squeezed some out and applied it to his penis. I raised myself above him and then very slowly, gingerly, with a little pain as I was stretched to the limit, eased myself down letting Sion slide into me. I lent forward a bit and with my hands on his chest, for balance, I slowly began to ride him. He reached up and caressed my breasts and soon we were moving in a rhythm of increasing urgency.

Afterwards, I lay next to my lover, my body pressing next to him, my head on his shoulder. He caressed my back.

"That was amazing Celyn", he said

"Yes it was"

"I'm glad you're a girl."

I reached up and kissed him.

"Thankyou"

"And you know that is what you are whatever some brainless idiots say"

"Yes, I know but the question is what to do about the brainless idiots"

"You will have a lot of friends in the school who will help you against them, if you come back"

"Yes but will the school itself will support me, if not then there is no point coming back"

"Why don't you go and see Mrs Williams?"

"Maybe I will but now I think it's time to destink ourselves, let's have those showers!"

I felt nervous sitting on the stage, with the other returning sixth formers*. It was the first Monday in September and time for the new term in school.

I had chosen a smart medium length skirt and tights to go with my school blouse, tie and jumper. It was especially disorientating to be sat on the stage as a girl after the number of times I had sat in a similar place to accept prizes for my achievements over the years as a boy. Sion, sitting next to me, discreetly held my hand.

I looked out at the rest of the school in the main hall looking up at us. I noticed one of two pointing me out to their friends and on more than one occasion the lips of the person referring to me seemed to be making the words, "that's the tranny". I felt very queasy and hoped I wouldn't have to leave the stage. I wondered if I was doing the right thing.

The music teacher finished playing the last of the incidental jazz that he had a penchant for while the school was assembling in the hall.

The headteacher, Mrs Serena Williams MA, rose from her chair and looked at the now silenced rows of children. She smiled.

"Welcome back everyone to the new term at Cwm Wysg school. I hope you all have had a very good holiday and I hope you are all looking forward to another term of hard work and enlightenment.
Normally at this stage I would refer in detail to the examination results that have been achieved by pupils, and I am again very impressed with the results that reflect very well on the efforts of the children involved", she paused and took a little sip from her glass of water.

"However, before I do that, there is someone more important to talk to you about. When I looked at the examination results last week one pupil stood out. They had achieved the highest grades ever achieved by a pupil at Cwm Wysg. What is more remarkable is that this pupil also happens to be one of the best sports persons ever to come to this school. They have represented the school and Wales at football, cricket and athletics."

The whole school was listening intently and with the mention of sports a few were looking in my direction. I noticed the head-teacher's careful avoidance of pronouns.

"I was a bit disappointed", continued Mrs Williams, "to understand that this pupil had already indicated that they would not be returning to school for further courses. I was pleasantly surprised then to receive a request for a meeting with the parents of this pupil to discuss possible entry into the sixth form. When we met they told me a rather remarkable story. Let me tell it you"

Like the consummate public speaker that she was, the headteacher paused and looked around the room to ensure that she had the audience's full attention.

"Almost two years ago this pupil was diagnosed with terminal cancer. It was a sort of cancer, usually only affecting men in their 60's and older, that meant maybe there was only two or three weeks left to live. There were no conventional treatments that could effectively fight this cancer. However one very clever doctor realised that there was an experimental treatment. This treatment had been very successful for the small number who had received it. It was a combination of cancer drugs and hormones that had one unfortunate side effect. The effect on this pupil, who you must have realised was a boy, would be to change their body so much that they would turn into a girl, in appearance, no different from any other girl."

"It must have seemed a high price to pay for life to no longer be able to continue an illustrious sporting career. But what choice did this pupil have. Life is too precious to lose when there is a chance to carry on living. Cwm Wysg I would like to introduce you to one of the bravest people I have ever met. Please step forward Celyn Morus"

I stepped forward and walked with a lot less confidence than I had ever had before toward the headteacher, there was thunderous applause from staff and pupils alike. Mrs Williams embraced me. She turned to face the school.

"Let me make one thing absolutely clear, Celyn Morus is a girl. In this school she will be treated as any other girl. There is no ambiguity about this and I'm sure that we will all do our best to support her. There will be a letter to for all of you to take home to explain this to your parents. Anyone who thinks it amusing to refer to Celyn in any other way will be dealt with in the most severe way possible. If they are a member of the 6th form",

Mrs Williams paused to look at the two lumps, they went white.

"...they will immediately, and I stress immediately, lose their place in this school"

"So let us once again show our appreciation for everything that Celyn has achieved for this school and our support for her in the future, and I wonder whether Mr Jones, coach of the football team, or Mrs Simons, coach of the netball teams will be first to invite Celyn to training", she concluded with a chuckle

I stumbled back to my seat, the applause became louder and a chant of "Celyn, Celyn..", spread throughout the hall. As sixth formers, boys and girls, stepped forward to embrace me the tears were streaming down my face. Tears of joy and hope.

---

The End
 

"You know, you are only sixteen and it's so easy to make a mistake at your age"...... I puzzled for a few seconds about what she might be referring to and then I blushed, more with embarrassment for her than me. "Mum, I can't get pregnant! Remember?" The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.1 - Teams by Alys

---

Part 1
 

"Pass Celyn!" came the voice of Ffion, our Goal Shooter, I turned to pass but once again I was too slow and the ball was intercepted by the Centre of the other team.

"You're not up to speed at this yet, Celyn," said Meryl my opposing Centre, as she expertly passed to the Goal Attack of her team.

"It looks like it," I laughed," if only we could kick the ball"

The A squad scored another goal. The B squad were losing five goals to two now, which was disappointing, since I was a member of the B squad, but not too much of a drubbing.

"Ok girls," called out Mrs Simons, the netball coach," time to wrap up the session"

It had begun to drizzle a little on the warm late September afternoon so we were all glad to get back to the changing rooms. As we trooped in I was glad that any antagonism towards me using their changing room had completely disappeared from the rest of the girls' attitude. Despite the headteacher's comments at the beginning of term many of my fellow pupils had been initially reluctant to let me change with them. The first time we had had a sports session, after some discussion and argument I had just simply stripped completely to let them see that underneath my clothes I looked exactly like the rest of them. Following this there was little opposition to me being there, although a few girls had asked to reschedule their sessions.

"Well everyone, that was a good practice," said Mrs Simons to us as we sat in a circle in the changing room for a post training talk, " I can see that I am going to have a useful first team this year. Just want to remind you that our first game is next Tuesday after school against Casnewydd High. I think I will probably play those girls in the A squad and Ffion and Sioned from the B squad. Sorry to everyone else, you will all get to play this year."

I felt a little disheartened not to at least have the possibility of being a substitute. But I knew that realistically it was impossible for me to reach the standard of the team after only a few weeks of playing regularly.

Everyone dispersed to change, Mrs Simons called me over.

"Listen Celyn I know that you must be disappointed not to be selected for the first game," she said quietly, "but I am very pleased with your progress, you have great ball skills and speed but at the moment you don't have enough zonal awareness. Don't worry it will come and I'm hoping that you will be a regular soon"

"Thanks Mrs Simons, I'm enjoying the training." I said.

"It's great to have you here." she commented smiling.

She went back to her office and private shower to change, while I quickly showered and changed in the pupils' area.

Meryl was waiting for me by the door of the changing rooms. We started walking briskly in the rain to the bus stop.

I told her what Mrs Simons had said.

"That's good, I'm looking forward to having you in my team. It'll be fun and I'm sure you'll be a great asset"

"Thanks, although it is strange to no longer be straight into the team every week, it takes some getting used to"

A sudden burst of rain cut short our conversation as we pulled our hoods over our heads and walked faster towards the bus shelter. Since the first day back at school, when Meryl had lined up with other members of the sixth form to give me a welcome hug, we had seen a lot of each other, both in netball and also the Maths and Biology classes that we were both taking. A few days after that emotional assembly we had sat down together and she had told me that she now understood why I had broken up with her and she also could see why I couldn't have told her the real reasons.

My bus was just pulling in as we reached the stop, I jumped on and waved goodbye to Meryl, who was waiting for her boyfriend, Gethin, to come from Rugby practice before getting her own bus home.

I looked out of the window, as the bus left the urban environment of Cwm Llwyd on the way to my house. The rain was lashing down on the windows outside and I was glad that I had made the bus before the heavens had opened. My mobile phone vibrated. I took it out of my bag and flicked it open.

Hi Cel
U in team?
xx Siá´n

I quickly typed my reply.

No :(
xx Cel

My phone vibrated again.

U 4 club tonite?
7?
xx Siá´n

I thought about my reply and considered what my parents would say about me going to JJ's. They weren't keen on me going to the place but it was almost the end of the week so, I thought, why not? I replied to Siá´n.

kk C U ltr
xx Cel

As I pressed send the bus turned the corner to my stop. I jumped up quickly, pressed the bus stopping signal and then quickly left the bus thanking the driver. The brisk walk in the heavy rain was a bit dispiriting as my clothes got damp and my face got wet, but soon enough I was in the warmth and dryness of the house.

A while later, after a quick meal of pasta and salad, a shower, getting dressed and doing my make up, I was waiting in the lounge for Siá´n to arrive.

"Hi Celyn and where are you going, dressed like that, young lady?" asked my Mother, referring to my short skirt and skimpy top, as she saw me sitting down, having just come in with my Father from working late.

"Hi Mum, me and Siá´n are going to JJ's." I replied.

"But Celyn this is a school night," she stated forcefully.

"Aw Mum, pleeeeease, I've only got one class tomorrow, and I'm feeling a bit down," I said pleadingly.

She raised her eyebrows in an enquiring manner and I explained about my failure to make the netball team.

"Well, OK, just this once, but make sure you're home by ten o'clock. I suppose Siá´n is taking you there?"

"Yes"

"Well make sure he drives carefully, I'm not sure I approve of seventeen year olds driving at night three days after passing their test," my Mother said," and Celyn, you be careful"

"What do you mean Mum?" I asked.

"You know, you are only sixteen and it's so easy to make a mistake at your age"

I puzzled for a few seconds about what she might be referring to and then I blushed, more with embarrassment for her than me.

"Mum, I can't get pregnant! Remember?"

This bizarre conversation was thankfully interrupted by the sound of a car pulling up on the drive. I hugged my Mother, shouted farewell to my Father in the kitchen and ran out into the, now dry, evening.

Siá´n grinned at me from behind the wheel of his parents' Corsa. He was lucky that his birthday was so early in the year and that his parents had been happy to pay for a two weeks intensive driving course.

"Hi Cel, jump in, let's go."

"Drive on James!" I said in my poshest sounding voice.

"Hey who's James?" asked Siá´n.

"The boy I'll be dancing with at JJ's if you don't get a move on, you div!"

He laughed and we sped away.

We chatted about our day in school. He expressed his sympathy for my lack of progress with the netball team.

"You should come to football* training. It's not the same without you." He said.

"I'm not sure that it would work out. I don't think the rest of the team will know how to react to me," I responded.

"Why don't you give it a go, we have a session tomorrow, I know Mr Jones would like to have you there" He said.

"I know he has asked me a few times to consider it. But I'm not sure whether it's a good thing and I so wanted to fit in with the rest of the girls in the sixth form. It feels like a sort of a step back to be going to boy's football." I pointed out.

"Well think about...anyway here we are, let's have some fun"

The next two hours in JJ's was a whirl of loud music, dancing and being close to Siá´n. All too soon it was a quarter to ten and time to rush home and avoid risking the ire the of my parents.

"I want you Celyn," whispered Sion," as we broke off our kiss for air and he held me close and caressed my bum.

"I want you too, my love, maybe tomorrow after school?" I replied, pulling him back towards me and his lips back to mine.

The front door opened and my Mother coughed.

"Oh hello Mrs Morus, I was just saying goodnight to Celyn" said Siá´n a little guiltily.

"It's OK Sion, I was young once," chuckled Mum, "but Celyn did promise to be home ten minutes ago and you do both have school tomorrow"

"OK Mum," I said, "Nite Siá´n, see you tomorrow and maybe I will bring my boots"

"Nite Cel, sweet dreams and please do bring your stuff." said Siá´n before getting into his car and driving away.

I hugged my Mother, went to bed and my appointment with Morpheus and sweet dreams of Siá´n.

I sat in the girls' changing room, luckily for me there were matches for the lower school netball teams that afternoon and the room had not been locked up. As I laced up my boots I wondered if I was making a big mistake coming to the football training session. How would the rest of the team relate to me. Apart from Siá´n I had not spoken to many of the others since my change. I was very apprehensive.

"Hi Celyn," said Mr Jones, the coach, in a friendly tone as I finished jogging over to the pitch,"glad you could join us. We're just doing warm-ups if you want to join the circuit"

I sprinted to catch up with Siá´n and a group of four other players. There were five groups of four or five moving around from activity to activity, changing at the whistle of Mr Jones. Siá´n and the rest of his group greeted me. The reactions of the players in the other groups, as we encountered them moving around the field, was varied, some were friendly, others didn't respond, while the faces of Aled and Elfed conveyed an attitude of dislike, bordering on something harsher.

Soon, I had forgotten about the two of them as the session entered full swing and we played a practice match. Mr Jones asked me to join the first team playing against the reserves. I was flattered but wondered about the wisdom of his decision since I hadn't trained with the team for many months. Within a short while I was caught up with the excitement of playing a competitive game. Although I was a little rusty I felt that I did enough to justify the coach's faith in me.

"Well done Celyn," said Mr Jones as we came off the field," you still have your scoring touch"

"Thanks for the invite I enjoyed it" I responded.

I was in a much better mood as I trotted accross to the girls' changing rooms. I noticed the two lumps, Alex and Elfed ahead of me chatting to a couple of other squad members. They looked at me as I went past. Elfed deliberately raised his voice so I would hear him.

"Well I think it's disgusting that we have to have that freak in the team"

*football in the UK = soccer in the US

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part One

....I pulled him towards me and kissed him, seeking comfort in his embrace. "Oh yuk, you two get a room." said Ceri, in his usual forthright manner. "Which one Ceri?" I asked. The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.2 - Restrictions by Alys

---

Part 2
 

I sat in the reception area looking at the photos, on the wall nearest me, of the sporting success of pupils at school. As I waited for my meeting with Mrs Williams the headteacher, I read the captions under the photos :- 'Jodie Jones - Women's Judo for Wales - 2001', 'Malcolm Evans - Under 18 Rugby for Wales - 2002' and another twenty or so similar records of sporting achievement with a photo of a different me, 'Celyn Morus - Under 16 Football for Wales - 2005', being the most recent.

I straightened my skirt and adjusted my bra to try and get a slightly better fit on my unusually sensitive breasts. I wondered if I might be experiencing a growth spurt in the boob department, after seeing little change in the last few months.

There was the sound of a quiet buzzer behind the desk of the receptionist, Miss Nyree Thomas, who picked up the phone.

She listened for a few seconds and then responded, "Yes, Mrs Williams, I'll send her in straight away."

I had stood up and was walking toward the door of the headteacher's office before she looked up and said," OK Celyn Mrs Williams will see you now"

I opened the door to a room almost as big as some of the classrooms in the school. One half of the room was taken by a large conference table and chairs. Mrs Serena Williams, headteacher of Cwm Wysg school sat in an imposing leather chair behind a large desk in the other half. Sunlight streaming through the window on this fine, almost Indian Summer like, late September morning formed a semi halo around Mrs William's face, making her seem more imposing andauthoritative than normal.

"Sit down, Celyn," she said in a friendly manner, indicating the chairs opposite her on the other side of the desk.

"How are you getting on?" she asked, after I had selected a chair and sat down.

"Fine thank you Mrs Williams." I replied.

"Good, I am glad to hear that. I was a little unsure about the whole thing, as I told you and your parents back in August. I am very pleased that everything seems to be working out. But I don't believe that it will be plain sailing all the way so you must remember to tell me or your teachers if there are any problems." She stated.

"Of course I will." I responded while wondering if I should tell her about Elfed's comment at football training. I decided that I would see if it was more than an isolated incident before involving Mrs Williams.

She held up a report sheet filled with short comments by teachers

"All of your are teachers very positive about you and your work, all except for Mr Franklin your biology teacher, he says that he doesn't think that you have made every effort to integrate with the rest of the class. Any thoughts on that?" She asked.

"I'm surprised that he should make such a remark to be honest Mrs Williams. I am good friends with a number in that class and I think I get on with everyone." I responded while silently fuming at the slur by 'Franklinstein'.

"Well I'm sure this is only a temporary issue and I have confidence that you will do everything you can to resolve whatever perceptions, false or otherwise that have arisen. We have great hopes for you in the next two years academically, Celyn"

"Thank you Mrs Williams"

She smiled at me and then paused for a moment before continuing in a more serious tone.

"However I do have a little problem to share with you at the moment. I have spoken to the games department and both Mrs Simons and Mr Jones are happy with your progress in netball and football"

"I'm pleased to hear that"

"However there is an issue with the rules of participating in the teams. Obviously your gender situation is pretty unusual and no-one has ever thought to provide guidelines......."

"I have given this some thought," I interjected.

"Oh yes, please tell me what you think," Mrs Williams responded.

I explained the legal situation regarding transsexuals being accepted by the IOC and netball being an Olympic sport. I also mentioned the Football Association of Wales ruling that girls could play in under 16 boys' teams where no appropriate girls' teams existed. She noted the information and then realising that she was late for an appointment in County Hall she ushered me out promising to discuss this further as soon as possible.

I walked over to the sixth form common room in a pensive mood almost bumping into a small boy from one of the lower years.

"Hey look where you're going!" I said to him, a little harshly.

"Sorry Celyn," he responded before scurrying off.

I opened the door to the common room and noticed to my surprise that the little boy had stopped at the end of the corridor and was looking at me. 'The wonder of fame or notoriety' I thought to myself as I walked into the half empty room full of easy chairs and sofas. The film and music posters dominated the atmosphere and distracted from the general untidiness of the place.

"Hey Siá´n," I said to my lover sitting in the corner on the sofa with Ceri and Sioned.

"Hey yourself," responded Siá´n.

I exchanged greetings with Ceri and Sioned and a few others I knew and squeezed next to Siá´n, who put his arm around me. I pulled him towards me and kissed him, seeking comfort in his embrace.

"Oh yuk, you two get a room." said Ceri, in his usual forthright manner.

"Which one Ceri?" I asked.

"I think Geography and Maths are the only departments that haven't been baptised," continued Siá´n, following my lead and referring to our, no doubt erroneous, perceptions of where in the school previous generations of sixth formers had been intimate.

"Shall we toss?" I said in a mock serious tone, taking a pound coin out of my jacket pocket.

"OK heads for Geography, tails for Maths," responded Siá´n.

I tossed the coin, the face of our beloved monarch stared up at us.

"Oh, great, I won't have to lie back and only think of England now with all the posters on the Geography wall." I said trying my best to suppress my giggles.

"Stop it you two!" said Sioned laughing.

Siá´n and I joined Sioned until we were both aching. Ceri poked his tongue out at us. Eventually Siá´n regained some composure.

"How did it go with Williams?" He asked.

I related the details of my interview with the headteacher. The others expressed their sympathy at the difficulties in carrying on being involved in sports teams and their anger at 'Franklinstein'. We chatted a bit longer about how our weekends had gone. Ceri had had a boring weekend working in his parents' shop while Sioned had been to North Wales to see her grandparents. I told them about having to be a "footballer's wife", watching Siá´n playing for his club side.

The bell went for the next lessons, Sioned and myself hurried for our Biology class, we met Meryl on the way there and chatted briefly until we reached the lab. Mr Franklin, as often, was just returning the latest small mammal corpse to the fridge and cleaning his dissection kit as we, along with another ten pupils walked in. He had been known as 'Franklinstein' to many generations of pupils for his obvious delight in the dark arts of cutting animals into smaller pieces.

We settled down and he took the register.

"Well class," he addressed us, standing at the front of the lab, a tall thin man in his early 50's, "as you are aware this term's unit is focused on human biology and so far we have looked at respiration and the energy cycle in the body. Today I want to start the lesson with a question."

He paused while he typed something on his computer to bring up a PowerPoint presentation on the screen.

'What is the most important factor affecting the life experiences of human beings?'

For some reason I felt a little uneasy with this question.

Some suggestions were offered.

"Racial Origins?" asked Sioned.

"Lifestyle?" asked Siá´n.

"Income of family?" suggested Meryl.

"Age of parents?" asked Brian, one of the football team members.

"These are all good points," responded the teacher," but there is one overarching division that affects everything."

He paused and I guessed where he was going with this discussion, I felt a sinking feeling in my stomach.

"The question that affects every aspects of our lives is - were you born Male or Female?" he stated, before bringing the same question up on the screen.

"We are all ONE gender or THE OTHER," he continued, letting his gaze fall on me for a second. There were a few titters from a couple of boys who I did not know.

"What about transsexual and intersex individuals?" I asked looking directly at him.

"I am talking about NORMAL people here, Celyn, not fre.....sorry people who refuse to fit in," he replied giving a knowing look to the rest of the class, a few of whom suppressed giggles while most looked shocked.

I felt like I had been kicked hard in the stomach, I felt sick at the humiliation, I stood up and oblivious to everyone slowly walked out of the classroom. There was silence for a moment and then Mr Franklin spoke.

"Mr..sorry Miss Morus where are you going?"

I opened the door without replying and slowly made my way down the corridor, my shoulders hunched, staring at the floor.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Two

"Remember Celyn," Heulwen had said on more than one occasion," life is worth living, however hard it may appear" I had often wondered whether I would have got through the last eighteen months without having met her. The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.3 - Resolve? by Alys

---

Part 3
 

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling, my eye followed the hairline crack in the plaster from the light fitting to the wall and back again. My Ipod earphones were throbbing with one of favourite oldie songs by The Who, also popular with my parents. The organ intro started up for the tenth time followed by the power chords and I followed the words until the so apt chorus -"we won't get fooled again"

I considered my situation and the question that was constantly in my mind was 'Why?". I had ridden home on my bike in a daze. It was one thing to be insulted by fellow pupils and I had expected a little of that even with the full support of the school for me returning after my gender shift. But to be publicly humiliated by a teacher! It was so much more hurtful for being unexpected. Especially from a teacher whom I had seemed to get along with before. Even getting the top grade in his subject in the summer's exams hadn't been enough to overcome what deep, hardened prejudice he obviously felt towards me.

My phone beeped. I picked it up to read the message.

'r u ok? xx Siá´n'

I put the phone back down. What could I say?

My phone beeped again and then again before I could pick it up. I read the supportive messages from Meryl and Sioned.

I considered for a few minutes and then typed a group reply.

'am ok, sleep now, talk l8r msn'

I didn't really feel like communicating with anyone at that moment. Even though I knew my friends were all well meaning I couldn't see how they could understand how I felt. I dreaded my parents coming home and having to explain to them. I suddenly felt the need to escape from having to discuss my 'problems' again.

A light breeze touched the curtains of my bedroom window gently. I looked outside at the warm, sunny early Autumn afternoon. Quickly I changed from my school clothes to my cycling outfit and within a couple of minutes was pedalling at a fast pace on the main road.

At first I cycled with no particular direction in mind, just enjoying the wind in my face, the rhythm of my body movements and the sights and sounds of the surrounding countryside. Nealy an hour later my various turns at junctions had taken me to the village of Penperlleni. The vague purpose, that had been in the back of my mind, suddenly crystallised into a definite destination.

I wheeled my bike through the rusting gate, along the uneven path to the small headstone in the corner of the graveyard.

Er Serchus Cof am Heulwen Dafis
12.2.1997-23.4.2007
Ysbrydoliaeth i bawb
'Gwyn eu byd y rhai pur o galon'*

I sat down on the grass next to the grave. I reached over to remove some of the dead flowers from the latest bunch that had been placed in front of the stone. It had been a couple of months since I had last visited the resting place of my friend from the hospice. Every time I came, even though I was an atheist, I felt her presence and always went away more settled and relaxed. I remembered some of the conversations we had had as I sat in peace and quiet.

"Remember Celyn," Heulwen had said on more than one occasion," life is worth living, however hard it may appear"

I had often wondered whether I would have got through the last eighteen months without having met her.

Some time later I shivered a little as an early evening cooling whisper of wind brushed my face. I stood up and moved over to the stone. I leant down and kissed it.

"Diolch Heulwen**." I said quietly, before turning and walking out with my bike to the road.

It was almost dark by the time I arrived home. My parents were waiting for me in the kitchen.

"Hi Celyn," said my Mother," where have you been? We were worried?"

"I went for a ride Mum," I replied," why were you worried?"

"Siá´n phoned." answered my Dad.

"Oh, what did he say?"

"He told us what happened," stated my Dad, firmly," I have a mind to go and brick the windows of that bastard Franklin!"

My Mother put her hand on my Father's.

"Gareth violence is not the answer, you know that. We must go and see Mrs Williams and make sure that school disciplines this teacher," said my Mother quietly.

"Yes, Dad, she will see support me on this I'm sure." I added.

"I hope so," my Father responded," in the meantime, until we can arrange to see her, I think you should stay home. I'll ring the school and explain tomorrow."

I wasn't unhappy at that prospect.

Two days later, I was sitting in the reception area of the head-teacher's office. I felt a sense of déjá  vu as I sat there once again looking at the photos on the wall. My parents sat there next to me. The hustle and bustle of the school was around us. Through the open door into the main corridor I saw pupils and teachers passing each other. A small boy I remembered from the previous day looked into the waiting room, where I was, as he walked past. He stopped as he recognised me. We had brief eye contact before he was moved along by the bark of the teacher on duty in the corridor. I pondered his behaviour but my reverie was quickly interrupted as we were ushered in to see Mrs Williams.

After some brief pleasantries were exchanged, Mrs Williams, looking stern, came to the point.

"I have spoken to Mr Franklin and some of the students who were in the particular class." She said.

"I hope you have disciplined him for his insult to my daughter," interjected my Father.

Mrs Williams took a deep breath.

"If you will let me finish, Mr Morus," she said icily, " I have discussed the situation with the teacher in question and with those students who were not known to be Celyn's friends in the class to ensure an objective viewpoint. It seems that their memory of the incident, which is consistent, is at variance to the accusations you and your daughter are making"

"The lying bastards!" said my Father, almost yelling.

"Please Mr Morus! I would be grateful if you could contain yourself and listen," said the headteacher, a little angrily.

"Mr Franklin is sorry that you felt offended Celyn. He has explained that, after you walked out, which I am a very disappointed about, he had discussed gender diversity with the class as part of his introduction to the topic"

As I listened to this distortion of the truth I felt like following my Father in his accusation. The others had mentioned that Franklinstein had tried to cover his ass with a few vague comments after I had left. Mrs Williams had obviously swallowed his story backed up by the rugby team neanderthals in the class.

I switched off from the conversation at that point. It continued for a few more minutes with Franklinstein being defended by his superior and my parents sticking to their support for me and my version of events. Mrs Williams attempted to end the interview.

"I am sorry, I must bring this discussion to an end, I have an important meeting with the Governors of the school later on and I must prepare some figures for it."

"I see," said my Mother, who had been quiet up to that point," under the circumstances it looks like we will have to consider alternative educational provision for our daughter then"

"That is your choice, of course Mrs Morus," replied Mrs Williams," obviously I would be sad to see Celyn leave. I am happy for her to be here but I hope you understand that I have a school to run and must consider the welfare of all members of the school community"

We left the school admin block and walked in silence to the car. Mum and Dad got into the car.

"I think I'll stay and try and see Mr Hughes, you know, he's the head of the sixth form."

"Why, love?" asked my Mother.

"Well if I leave I'll need a letter from him, well at least it would be useful, so that I could get admission somewhere else, and I want to tell Siá´n and the gang what happened." I said.

"OK, Celyn," said my Dad," see you later"

I watched for a few seconds, waving at them driving out of the school, before turning back towards the admin block. I knocked on the door of the head of sixth form, but there was no answer. I looked at my watch, half an hour to break time. I decided to go for a walk. A few minutes later I found myself standing next to a tree, between the school playing fields and the changing rooms. I stood and watched a group of younger pupils, year 7 or 8 boys*** playing a practice game of rugby. Although it had never been my game of choice I appreciated the skill involved in it. Some of the young players looked talented too. I wondered which ones would eventually make the photo display in the head-teacher's reception.

One of the players stood out for different reasons. I realised that it was the boy who seemed to have some sort of fixation on me. The thing that attracted my attention was not his skill but his ineptitude. The few times he was given a pass he just threw it away quickly and aimlessly, to the increasing ire of his teammates. Eventually the sports teacher lost his temper.

"Evans you are a waste of space, go and have a shower!" he shouted at the hapless player.

The young boy ran towards the changing room, I saw tears rolling down his muddy face.

"Are you OK?" I asked as he neared me.

He looked up and stared at me, mouth wide open.

"Celyn!"

"You know my name?" I asked.

"Everyone knows your name," he said, wiping some of the wetness from his eyes with the back of his hand.

'Oh notoriety', I thought to myself.

"What's your name?" I asked

"Seren." He replied.

"That's a nice name," I said, although I had never come across a boy with that name before.

"What are you doing here?" He asked after a few seconds silence.

"Watching you be the best rugby player in the school, maybe?" I responded, smiling.

He laughed.

"I know, I'm hopeless, but some of them take it so seriously. Why are you here though, I've never seen a sixth former here before"

"I'm waiting to see the head of sixth form to get a letter so that I can transfer to college"

"Are you leaving? Why?" Seren asked with a surprising level of interest.

"It's a long story, but it seems for the best"

Seren's response came as a surprise. Tears began to well up again in his eyes.

"Please don't leave," he implored, looking into my eye," I'd be alone then"

"What do you mean?" I asked, puzzled.

He paused and coming closer he whispered.

"I'm like you, I want to be a girl"

========================================================================

*In loving memory of Heulwen Dafis
12.2.1997-23.4.2007
Inspiration to everyone
'Blessed are the pure of heart'

**Thankyou Heulwen

*** 11-13 year olds

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Three

..........he kissed me on my forehead, cheeks and neck while gently squeezing my breast. "I guess I'm not such a good girl then....lucky your parents and sister are away" The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.4 - A Kiss too far? by Alys

---

Part 4
 

"You've got me begging you for Mercy...Why won't you release me..."

The sound of Duffy's huge hit resonated through JJ's. I mouthed the lyrics to Siá´n as we danced close in the club. He smiled back at me and pulled me towards him, we moved together in time to the music, bodies touching.

"She's great, don't you think?" Siá´n shouted into my year.

"What a voice, and Welsh too!" I shouted back.

"What a combination, you can't beat it," he responded.

"Maybe there is a way," I said as I pulled his head down towards me and pressed my lips into his. We kissed and slowly swayed to the last couple of songs, oblivious to everything, except our desire for each other.

The club lights came on and some anonymous rock muzak replaced the DJ.

We made our way to Siá´n's car. The early October night was chilly especially given the skimpy, clingy dress I was wearing. I shivered.

"You OK?" asked Siá´n.

"I'm OK," I said laughing," just a bit of a shock after the heat in JJ's. I might need warming up soon though, any ideas what we can do?"

"I might have" said Siá´n in a teasing voice, caressing my bare shoulder.

A short journey later, Siá´n pulled into the driveway of his family's home on the outskirts of town.

"So what happens now then?" I asked.

"Isn't this where I ask you if you want a cup of coffee?" he replied.

"What if I don't like coffee?" I asked.

"Then I should take you home, but it's too late for that so maybe you'll have to sleep in the car." He responded indicating the back seat.

"You'd let me FREEZE to death?" I responded in mock serious tone.

"I might lend you a blanket or even two if you asked nicely," he said smiling while unbuckling his seat belt.

"In that case I guess I could try the coffee, I suppose," I said as I took my own seat belt off," remember though no funny business I'm a good girl, as you can see from the colour of my dress"

"What colour do good girls wear then?" He asked me as we made our way to the front door.

"What a question. Good girls wear pure, virginal white of course" I responded pretending to be affronted.

Siá´n opened the door and I followed him in.

"Just one thing though Celyn," said Siá´n as he closed the door behind us and took me in his arms.

"What is that?" I whispered as I slipped my hand under his shirt and caressed his chest.

"Your dress is black," Siá´n whispered back as he kissed me on my forehead, cheeks and neck while gently squeezing my breast.

"I guess I'm not such a good girl then....lucky your parents and sister are away"

Some hours later, our desires sated I lay with my head on Siá´n's arm, my body pressing into his, my arm across his chest, while he slowly caressed my back.

"That was wonderful Siá´n," I said quietly.

"Yes, you are amazing Celyn," he responded sleepily.

"I love you so much," I whispered closing my eyes as exhaustion swept over me.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

Franklinstein held his scalpel up in the air, I tried to scream but the duct tape on my mouth made it impossible to make any noise and even made breathing difficult. I struggled against the thick ropes tied to my arms and legs, restraining me on the huge, blood stained marble slab.

"This is what we do to freaks!" he shouted at me as he moved the dirty stained scalpel towards my naked body. He paused, with the blade tip just above my stomach, his face contorted with a manic expression. Suddenly an alarm went off. He looked up. The sound of the alarm changed into a ring-tone. Nickleback's latest hit. Franklinstein and associated horrors disappeared as I opened an eye and reached out a hand in the direction of the sound. Siá´n was comatose beside me on his bed so I pressed talk on the phone and held it to my ear.

"Yeah?" I mumbled a bit gruffly.

"Oh hello is that Siá´n?" asked a familiar voice.

It was Mr Jones the football coach! I sat up in shock.

"Um no it's Celyn." I replied in a more normal tone.

There was a slight pause.

"Is Siá´n there?" he asked in a strange voice.

"Yes, well, he is, but he's , um, still asleep" I replied feeling extremely embarrassed even though it was only a phone call. The reality of discussing my sex life, even by implication, with my football coach was disturbing, especially when I was lying in bed next to another member of the team.

Siá´n stirred and half opened an eye.

"Who is it love?" He asked in a voice heavy with sleep.

"Oh, Mr Jones, Siá´n is awake now, do you want to speak to him?"

"It's OK Celyn, I was going to phone you afterwards, it's for both of you" he responded.

"What is it?" I asked.

By this time Siá´n was wide awake listening to the conversation, his mouth dropped when he heard me refer to the coach by name as he realised who the caller was.

"We have a game this morning with Ysgol Casnewydd, it's a friendly and they only confirmed by fax half an hour ago" Mr Jones explained.

"Wow Ysgol Casnewydd," I exclaimed, looking at Siá´n whose expression showed him to be similarly impressed that the school team that had been top in the whole of Wales for the last decade, and didn't even play in our local league since they were considered too strong, were playing at our school.

"Yes, it's a great opportunity to see how well we have progressed over the last few years. Unfortunately I am four players down, there was an eighteenth birthday party last night and, well I'm sure you can guess what happened..."

"I see, but how does this affect us?" I asked.

"I need you both to play" he replied simply.

"I'm sure that Siá´n will be up for it but..." I said.

"I want you to play too Celyn" Mr Jones stated emphatically.

"I thought that I couldn't play for the team and....anyway I'm leaving school, so maybe there is no point", I responded.

"I heard about you possibly leaving, I hope you change your mind and there is no problem about you playing it's only a friendly. We're starting in half an hour, can you get here by then?"

"Half an hour, um I'm not sure," I said looking at Siá´n who still looked in a bit of a daze, he mouth 'no way' to me.

"Do your best, I'll start the match with some under-16's, get here as soon as you can, bye," said Mr Jones, speaking in a hurry before he ended the call.

Siá´n jumped out of bed and pulled on a clean t-shirt. He pulled out some boxers from his clothes drawer and put them in followed by a clean pair of black jeans. He turned round and saw that I hadn't moved.

"Come on Celyn, hurry up, if we're lucky with the traffic we might only miss the start of the game"

"You go, I'll wait for you here" I said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"I don't have any clothes to wear" I stated simply.

"Well I think I see your panties on the landing," he said smiling," and if I remember your dress made it halfway up the stairs"

"I can't wear those clothes to school!"

"I guess you don't have much choice since my sister is only ten and her clothes will be too small and mine will be too big."

"and there is another thing.."

"What?" asked Siá´n pausing in putting his shoes on to look at me.

"well I need something else to wear"

Siá´n looked at me in puzzlement, "Mr Jones will have kit for us and I'm sure he can find you a pair of boots, so what is the problem?"

"I haven't got a bra!"

"Oh.."

"I can't play without a bra," I continued," my boobs will be bouncing all over the place"

"That is a problem and we don't have time to go to your place.."

Suddenly Siá´n smiled, "I know," he stated.

"What?"

"Why don't you phone your Mum and ask her to bring whatever you need to the school"

"Love you're a genius!" I said as I jumped out to bed, gave Siá´n a hug and then gathered my clothes from the landing and the stairs, slipping into them downstairs as I took my mobile out of my bag and pressed quick dial three for my Mother. Luckily for me she was working from home that morning and agreed straight away to bring me what I needed.

Three quarters of an hour later we pulled into the school car park. In the field nearby hundreds of pupils from the lower school were cheering as players from our team moved the ball forward. Siá´n and I made our way quickly along the path to the school pitch. A groan came from the crowd as one of the players from our team went down injured after a tackle, the ball was kicked out of play and there was quiet which unfortunately for me was punctuated by the sound of my three inch heels on the concrete path. Some of the children who were nearest turned towards the sound and once they noticed what I was wearing they alerted their neighbours.

I blushed as I became the focus of attention of hundreds of my fellow pupils, I became aware of the movement of my breasts under my tight dress as I walked quickly towards the players and trainers area on the pitch side. The cool Autumn morning added to my embarrassment by making my nipples more prominent.

"Siá´n and um, Celyn, well done you made it," said Mr Jones looking a little shocked by my appearance," well done, there's still twenty minutes of the first half can you get changed quickly," he continued handing over some clean kit to us. Siá´n rushed off to the changing room.

"I need to wait for my Mum, she's bringing my boots," I said remaining standing.

"There's plenty of spare boots in the box there, Celyn, I'm sure you can find a pair to fit," Mr Jones stated.

I hesitated.

"Um, she's bringing me something else that I need to wear," I said quietly to him as I quickly indicated my upper body.

The coach looked puzzled. He stared at me and then glancing at my breasts realisation dawned.

"Oh, I see, well I hope she gets here soon we're two-nil down already"

Ten minutes later I saw my Mother's yellow Astra Hatchback pull into the school. I quickly made my way over to the car and hugged her.

"Your make up is a bit of a mess, Celyn," she said.

"Sorry Mum can't stop to chat I need to get on the pitch, have you got the stuff?"

She handed me my sports bag and I walked as fast as I could to the changing rooms, cursing my heels as I once again attracted attention of the younger pupils. I heard a few whistles and then just as I was turning to go into the sports centre to change I heard a familiar young voice.

"Hi Celyn! Are you going to play?" Shouted Seren, the pupil in the lower school who had confessed his transgendered status to me.

"Yes, gotta change now," I yelled back as I grasped the handle of the door to the girls' changing room. It was locked. I stared at the door in disbelief. I pulled the handle to no avail. Mrs Simons must have locked the door thinking that there would be no games lessons while everyone was watching the match.

I considered my options and realised that it was one of those Hobson moments*. I turned and went into the boys' changing rooms. It was strange being back in a room that I had used for so long, initially legitimately, latterly in disguise, but that was now not appropriate for me to enter.

I undressed quickly, hanging my dress on a spare peg, away from the rest of the team's clothes. I opened the bag and took out my sports bra and boots. Suddenly the noise of nylon studs on the changing room floor startled me. I looked around to see Elfed, one of the lumps who disliked me, running into the changing room. Instinctively I put my arms over my breasts. He stopped and stared at me.

"Nice tits and panties, freak," he sneered and ran on into the toilet.

I quickly put my sports bra and shorts on and by the time the rest of the team walked in I was just pulling my football top on. I noticed that a few of them glanced at my bra before I sat down. Siá´n sat down next to me. Mr Jones looked quizzically at my dress on the clothes peg.

"The girls' was locked, sir" I explained

"OK" He responded before launching into his team talk, trying to revive his struggling team that had somehow managed not to concede any more goals.

Ten minutes into the second half and things were still looking bleak for us. Casnewydd had almost scored a couple of times, both times being thwarted by brave and desperate defence. Our attack still posed little problem to them. When their players had seen me running on with the team I had heard one of them say.

"This lot are pathetic, they're playing a girl!"

They had immediately discounted me of being any threat to them and it hadn't helped that on the two occasions when I could have been in a good position for a run at their defence, Elfed, who was in attack with me had deliberately given me poor passes making it impossible to do anything before I was tackled.

Suddenly we had a break from our defence, as they pushed forward trying to get a match winning third. Myself and Elfed against two of their players, I slipped the pass to him, putting one of their players out of contention, all he had to do was pass back to me and I would only have the goalie to beat. Instead he carried on with the ball and in the end ran himself into an impossible angle and shot into the side netting. I ran over to him furious.

"Why didn't you pass, Elfed? I had a clear shot on goal!" I asked him.

"I'm not giving you any chances to score, freak." He sneered and walked away.

"Well don't expect me to be as stupid as you" I said to his back.

This slight threat to their goal meant that Casnewydd were a little more careful in defence and the game became less open, although they were still dominating possession. Next time I was back in our half I sought out Siá´n. I told him what I wanted him to do.

The ball came to me wide out on the left from Siá´n's astute pass, I moved the ball cautiously towards the first opponent then just as he was about to tackle, with a change of pace that I had not been able to show before in the game I was past him and moving towards the goal, two defenders came towards me, I swerved out to the left and drew them towards me, with another following behind, I held my position for half a second and then skipped towards the line, crossing towards the far post, where Elfed, who had worked out what was coming was waiting, unmarked to nod the ball into the net. There was pandemonium as the crowd went wild. Elfed punched his fist in the air and instinctively ran towards me in celebration and then suddenly remembering who I was, stopped to be enveloped by team mates. Siá´n and a few others came over to congratulate me.

The game became more even as Casnewydd attempted to defend their lead more effectively. I now had two opponents watching me in everything I did and no other clear opportunity presented itself. In the meantime they still threatened to score again. I ran over to Siá´n and made a suggestion. A few minutes an opportunity arose, he took the ball and shaped to pass in my direction on the left but instead hit it towards the right to where I had sprinted to receive it. I went outside the first opponent and inside the next before hitting the ball low towards the penalty area where Elfed was perfectly positioned to side foot the ball in the goal. This time the sound was deafening, Elfed run towards me, hesitated and then continued. He held out a hand and I grasped his

"That was a fantastic pass Celyn like the earlier one, sorry for what I called you" he said, before he was again enveloped in embraces from the rest of the team.

"How long ref?" asked the captain of Casnewydd as he proceeded to restart the game.

"Five minutes, Alex," replied the referee who was also the coach of the visitors.

Our opponents were content to play out a draw, and so the game was dissipating into aimless passes. Siá´n and I had maybe one last trick up our sleeves. I got the ball in the centre of the field but this time to the surprise of the opposition I moved it forward staying in the centre, two of their defenders came towards me, blocking my progress, I shaped to move left, they followed and then with the outside of my boot I curled the ball right into path of Siá´n sprinting down the wing, I ran forward, jumping over the leg that was put out trying to trip me to receive the perfect return. I let the ball run ahead of me a few feet and then struck it sweetly with the inside of my left foot towards the far top corner of the net. The Casnewydd goalie made a despairing flail at the ball as it skimmed past him but his slight contact only diverted the ball onto the inside of his post and into the net.

The crowd went completely mental. The screaming and shouting was at a tremendous volume.

Siá´n ran over to me and hugged me

"You are brilliant!", he said before kissing me. The world around became a whirl of back slaps, congratulations and cheers, and then it was just Siá´n and I putting everything into our physical contact, turning our celebratory embrace into passion and desire. The cheers became louder.

Our idyll was interrupted by the sound of a whistle being blown repeatedly very close by. We broke off and looked up.

"You're booked!" said the opposition coach, as he took out his yellow card and held it aloft while pointing at me.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobson%27s_choice

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Four

There was also the distraction of Siá´n's hand caressing my thigh every few minutes. By the end of the lesson I had a very unfinished assignment and was feeling as aroused as earlier. The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.5 - Revolt by Alys

---

Part 5
 
"Well done boys!" said Mr Jones to us, as we sat in the changing room, after the match. The chants of 'Cwm Wysg, Cwm Wysg', from groups of children in the lower school wandering around outside, came to us through the windows.

"oh.. and Celyn, of course. Sorry Celyn," he added as his gaze alighted on me, sitting next to Siá´n, " well done all of you. Mr Jenkins, after he had got over the shock of his school losing, was very complimentary, he told me he was impressed with the way you came back in the second half of the game. That was the first time Ysgol Casnewydd had lost a friendly game in five years he told me."

We all looked at each other in pride at our achievement.

"Obviously Celyn and Elfed for scoring the goals got the attention and well done to the two of you," continued Mr Jones," but everyone played really well in attack and in defence so I think you all deserve to give yourselves a round of applause"

The sound of our clapping was almost deafening in the hard surfaced changing room.

"One bit of good news is that I managed to persuade Mr Jenkins to rescind the yellow card against you Celyn, since this was only a friendly game, but he did ask me to remind you and Siá´n of the rules about EXTENDED goal celebrations next time you play," said our coach with a broad smile on his face.

The redness of my blush would have illuminated a dark room, as some good natured chuckles echoed in the changing room.

"OK, Celyn if you can grab your dress and the rest of your stuff, Mrs Simons has opened the girls' changing room for you"

I took my things and followed Mr Jones, after asking Siá´n to wait for me for our next lesson.

"Celyn," said the coach, quietly as we left the room, "I didn't want to say it in front of everyone, but you really made the difference today, thanks so much for coming"

"I enjoyed it, sir," I replied.

"I did notice one thing on the pitch though," he continued.

"What was that?" I asked.

"You seemed to have some argument with Elfed and I thought that he seemed reluctant to pass to you earlier in the half. Is there a problem between the two of you?"

I paused and then answered carefully.

"There was, sir, but now I think that Elfed realises that he was being stupid"

"I'm glad to hear that, and please Celyn if there are any issues in the team I need to know straight away so that I can sort them out, you know what the 'Head' said at the beginning of term, we are all one hundred percent behind you," he stated.

"Thank you sir"

"One interesting bit of news, I contacted the Welsh Schools' FA and explained your situation"

"What did they say?" I asked.

"They are still considering their response but one of their officials did suggest that if you were playing for a ladies team outside school then your case to play for a boys' team in school would be strengthened"

"Why is that?"

"Because you could argue that you would need to play at the highest level in school in order to raise your standard for your club"

"OK"

"One last thing, before you go, and I'm sorry for delaying you from your next lesson, but have you thought of doing some weight training?"

"Why, sir?"

"I noticed that you were losing some tackles today just because the boys you were tackling were stronger. They are lucky, the testosterone that is flooding their system makes muscle development easy, that's why it's banned for athletes, but you could compensate by doing some work in the gym. Think about it."

I thanked Mr Jones and ran across to the girls changing room. Thankfully my Mother had packed my school uniform in my sports bag. I breathed a sigh of relief, even being the scorer of the winning goal wouldn't have let me get away with wearing my skimpy dress around school. I had a quick shower and changed and then rushed out, still brushing my hair, to find Siá´n looking a bit impatient outside.

"Sorry, love," I said giving him a kiss on the cheek, " Jonesy wanted to talk to me"

As we walked to our lesson, I explained about the ladies team and the gym.

"That's a good idea," said Siá´n, "we could go down to Aberllwyd leisure centre, shall we have a look tomorrow?"

"OK"

We were half an hour late for our Maths lesson, but Miss Evans, the teacher, smiled as we went in.

"Hi you two, great game," she remarked.

"Thanks Miss," we replied.

She gave us the notes and showed us the exercise, I tried to concentrate on the problem on the worksheet but it was difficult after the euphoria of the victory. There was also the distraction of Siá´n's hand caressing my thigh every few minutes. By the end of the lesson I had a very unfinished assignment and was feeling as aroused as earlier.

"Do you want coffee?" asked Siá´n when we reached the sixth form common room.

"Please," I replied.

I sat down on the sofa while Siá´n busied himself with the kettle. Soon we were sipping our hot beverage and were joined in our corner by Sioned, Ceri, Meryl and Gethin.

"How did the game go," asked Meryl, who had been one of the many sixth formers who had had to be in their lessons rather than watch the match.

Siá´n and I recounted the events of the morning.

"You got a yellow card for snogging on the pitch!," howled Ceri," that's a really good one"

"Did you really get booked for kissing on the pitch?" asked Meryl.

"That's sounds harsh," said Gethin, "you see it on games on the TV all the time, players always hug when they have scored"

"Um, Gethin, it was a little bit more than a hug," I said, smiling.

"I wonder what you would need to do to get a red card*?" asked Ceri, impishly.

"Shut up Ceri," Sioned and I said almost in unison, laughing.

"Only you could think of that, Ceri," said Meryl, joining in the mood.

"There could be an advertising deal there, though," said Siá´n.

"What are you on about?" I asked.

"Well imagine the TV slogan, buy our new fun beds as tested by Celyn on 'Match of the Day'**" he continued with a broad grin on his face.

I threw a cushion at him and soon he was completely covered as the other girls joined in.

We had calmed down a few minutes later, Meryl turned to me.

"So after today's game are you still thinking of leaving school?" she asked.

"I'm not so sure, the football was great fun, and there are some other things," I said and told them about Seren, " not sure how I can help him but I'd like to if possible, it must be so hard being transgendered and having to hide it. But still don't know what to do about Biology and Franklinstein"

"Do you need to take Biology," Ceri asked.

"Yes why are you even taking the subject?" asked Meryl.

"I liked it last year and it seemed interesting and I thought it might be useful if I want to go into medicine or another health area," I replied.

"But you don't really need it, do you?" asked Siá´n.

"No maybe not,as long as I am studying Chemistry" I replied.

"What about you Sioned?" said Meryl.

"I guess I don't really need to do it either," Sioned replied.

"I wonder what Jonesy would say?" pondered Meryl.

"Which Jonesy?" I asked.

"You know Dr Jones, head of Biology," Meryl replied.

"What he would say about what? I'm lost Meryl," said Ceri.

"If we all quit Biology," she replied.

"You know that's exactly what we should do," said Sioned," we should quit the subject and get as many of the others to do so too"

"I bet that they would have to do something then!" stated Meryl, forcefully.

"Wow, Franklin would be toast!" I said.

We were all thinking about Sioned's idea when there was a knock on the door, Sioned got up and answered it.

"Celyn, there's a little boy here, he wants to see you," she said before opening the door wide to show us who was there.

I looked up and saw Seren standing there, crying his eyes out, his clothes ripped to shreds.

* A red card means that the player is sent from the field of play and his/her team has to play on with one player less.
** 'Match of the Day' is a weekly highlights programme of the top football(soccer) games in the UK.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Five

"It was almost worth getting beaten up," he replied enigmatically. "What do you mean?" I asked, surprised by his comment. "I've never worn girls' clothes before," he explained, "it feels so right" I smiled back at him, looking sweet and pretty in Sioned's white, frilly blouse and black skirt. The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.6 - Parents by Alys

---

Part 5
 

I held onto my seat in the back of the ambulance as it went over another pothole on the approach road to Casnewydd, the city of continuous roadworks. I held Seren's hand as he lay back on the trolley.

"Not long now, Seren," I said, smiling at him, " soon be at the hospital"

"Thanks for coming with me, Celyn," Seren responded, quietly.

"It's OK." I said.

The journey had taken a lot longer than I had expected, partly because Mrs Jenkins, the head of lower school, had been undecided at the best course of action after the assault on Seren. As a result we were entering Casnewydd on the way to the hospital, Ysbybty Frenhinol Gwent at the peak of the Friday rush hour, or maybe better described as Friday gridlock time.

"Bloody roadworks! Don't know why the council don't leave things as they are instead of constantly digging everything up," said John, the paramedic, as he looked out of the window at the almost stationary lines of traffic in all directions.

"You OK, son?," John asked Seren.

"Yes thanks, just aching a bit," Seren replied.

"Won't be long now, once the doctor have checked your bruises and the bump on your head your parents can take you home again," stated John, before giving Seren a friendly pat on the shoulder and returning to talk to Anna the ambulance driver.

I hoped that Seren's parents would be there at the hospital when we arrived. They had been contacted about the assault but had refused to collect him until after school. Siá´n, Sioned and myself had kept Seren company in the medical room until he had fainted and Mrs Jenkins had decided that he had better go to hospital for a check up.

"Are you comfortable Seren, in those clothes?" I asked him a few minutes later when I noticed that he was adjusting the borrowed items.

"It was almost worth getting beaten up," he replied enigmatically.

"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised by his comment.

"I've never worn girls' clothes before," he explained, "it feels so right"

I smiled back at him, looking sweet and pretty in Sioned's white, frilly blouse and black skirt. These had been the only spare clothes that any of us had had, that came close to fitting Seren, to replace his ripped school uniform. He had refused the offer of spare boys' clothes from Mrs Jenkins when she had arrived to take charge.

"You look nice," I said.

"Thank you Celyn, but I'll never be as beautiful as you," he responded, looking at me with complete adoration in his eyes.

"Don't be silly, Seren, I know that I look OK but there is no way that I am beautiful," I replied, feeling embarrassed at his reaction towards me. I turned away to look out of the window of the ambulance at the setting sun's last red glow over the water of Má´r Hafren.

The ambulance began to move forward a little quicker, if walking pace as opposed to tortoise speed could be regarded as much of an improvement. A few minutes later I was accompanying Seren as his trolley was wheeled into a cubicle in the hospital. After thanking the paramedics we were joined by a middle aged, friendly looking nurse whose name tag said Mrs Susan Williams.

"Hello girls, did someone have an accident in school?" she asked, smiling, as she read the paramedics notes.

"I guess you must be Seren? It says Seren Rees here, the surname is a bit hard to read. Is that right" she asked looking at her patient lying on the trolley.

Seren nodded his head.

"Oh and according to this report you're a boy?"

"Yes," responded Seren in a tired voice.

"These were the only clothes that would fit him," I said trying to provide a credible explanation.

"I'm sure," responded the nurse, her voice full of doubt, "I'll see if I can find something more appropriate for you to wear in a minute, and who are you young lady, are you his sister? I'm assuming you're not his brother"

"No, I am not Seren's sister," I replied ignoring the jibe in the nurse's remark, " I am someone in the school sixth form that he came to for help when he was assaulted"

"OK, do you know if his parents have been contacted?" she asked.

"Yes, they should be here very soon"

"Right young man, can you tell me where it hurts?" she said turning back to Seren.

She examined Seren and was happy that there seemed to be no limbs damaged, apart from the bruises but said that the doctor would have to give the all clear before he could leave.

My phone vibrated. I took it out of my bag and read the message.

U ok? Sion xx

I replied

Yep, still at hosp, can u pick me up? Cel xx

"Nice phone, Celyn," commented Seren when he noticed me sending a message.

"Yes, I like it, it's compact and easy to use. It was Siá´n wondering how we were getting on."

"Is it strange?" he asked.

"What?"

The phone vibrated again.

C u outside in half an hour? Sion xx

I quickly replied

kk, Cel xx

"That Siá´n is your boyfriend, even though he knew you, well you know...before," explained Seren.

"It just seems to have happened, not sure why. It must be the hormones, I guess, we never fancied each other before," I responded.

"I wish I could have hormones," he said wistfully.

"Have you told anyone?" I asked.

"Until today, only you." Seren replied.

"What happened today then? You wouldn't tell us earlier" I asked.

He paused for a little and then looking away from me he spoke quietly.

"There were these boys, from year 9, saying bad things about you"

"Oh, what do you mean?"

"I was on the yard at lunchtime, just walking around and I saw this group they were pretending to get booked for snogging, like you did in the game, and laughing and calling you.....I don't want to repeat it." Seren said haltingly.

I began to feel guilty about what had happened to Seren.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I shouted at them and then they chased me into the woods. They hit me a few times and then one of them asked me if I wanted to be a girl too and I said yes, they went mad then and ripped my clothes and hurt me a lot"

I squeezed his hand and smoothed his hair, the first tears started rolling down my cheek.

"I'm so sorry Seren, this is all my fault for my selfish snog with Siá´n on the field." I said.

The curtains parted and a thick set man in his late forties, followed by a small thin women with a thin smile, walked into the cubicle.

"Alright lad, what have you done now?" asked Seren's father brusquely.

"And who are you, love?" he asked me, staring at my breasts through my thin blouse.

"Hello, Mr and Mrs Rees is it? I'm in the sixth form in Seren's school, he came to us for help when he was beaten up," I replied, looking more at Seren's mother.

"Thank you dear," she replied, " what's your name?"

"Celyn, Celyn Morus" I replied.

"Thank you Celyn, that was good of you to stay with him," Mrs Rees responded," I hope that......."

"Oh you must be the fr....., the boy who is now a girl then?" Interrupted Seren's father, rudely.

"I suppose you are responsible for Seren wearing a skirt. I don't know what the world's coming to." he continued offensively.

"Well now, there were no other clothes available to fit him and I assume you wouldn't like your son to have to continue to wear rags, here's the bag with them in," I said angrily, dumping the black bag with the ripped clothes at the Apeman's feet.

"Goodbye Seren, hope you feel better on Monday, nice meeting you Mrs Rees," I said before walking out of the cubicle before I said something that I would have regretted to Mr Tolerant.

It was a welcome relief when Siá´n's car pulled up outside the hospital ten minutes later.

"Hi Siá´n," I said as I leaned over to kiss him," thanks for coming"

"Hey you too," he replied while moving the car back into the line of traffic.

"Something wrong?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

I explained the incident with Seren's father.

"What a bastard," Siá´n said," never mind I've got some news that will cheer you up"

"What's that?" I asked.

"Sioned, Meryl and eight others of the Biology class went to see Franklinstein and told him that they were quitting Biology and wouldn't come back unless he apologised publicly to you."

"Wow what did he say?" I asked, smiling as I imagined the scene of the delegation confronting him.

"He went absolutely ballistic!"

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Six

..........." by the way do you know what?" "What?" I asked "He fancied you," she replied. "No he didn't!" I said a little indignantly. "Yes he did and you fancied him too," Meryl responded. The Price To Pay - Vol. 4.7 - Gym by Alys

---

Part 7
 

I waved at Mum as she drove off in the heavy Autumn rain. I turned and strode towards the entrance of the PPL health and Leisure centre, pulling the hood, of my coat, over my head to keep my hair dry. I walked through the automatic doors and looked around in the foyer.

"Hey Celyn!" a familiar voice shouted from the other side of the foyer, in the small lounge.

I looked to see Meryl standing and waving. I walked up to the young female receptionist. She was typing something on her keyboard, she looked up and smiled at me.

"Hello, I think my friend has signed me in for a visitor's pass, she's over there," I said pointing in Meryl's direction.

The receptionist looked over and then flicked through a series of cards on her desk. She took one and held it up.

"What's your name?" she asked.

"Celyn Morus," I replied.

"That's OK, Celyn, you can go through," the receptionist said pressing the button to open the turnstile, "did you want one of the trainers to show you round?"

"It's OK," I responded," my friend said she would explain everything to me"

"OK, but if you change your mind Phillip and Fiona are around somewhere. I hope you enjoy yourself," said the receptionist, before returning to whatever she was doing on her computer.

I hugged Meryl and she then led me to the changing rooms. There were only a few women, of various shapes and sizes, in the place. After storing our outdoor clothes in adjacent lockers we made our way back to the gym area.

"Wow, we have our own TV's," I said as I started my warm up run on the treadmill, referring to the small LCD TV that was part of the control panel.

"Did you bring your earphones?" Meryl asked.

"Yes, but I want to hear all the 'goss' about Franklinstein first," I said.

Meryl laughed and proceeded to tell me about the meeting she, Sioned and the other eight pupils, who had joined the boycott, had had on Friday afternoon. Part of my reason for coming to the gym for an induction had been to get a first hand account of the encounter.

"Did he really say that?" I asked, when Meryl had described his reaction.

"Yes, I quote verbatim, 'No ex-boy is going to tell me what to do', was his final comment before he shut the door on us", she replied.

"Well I suppose technically he is correct, I am an ex-boy," I said quietly. I felt annoyed with myself at feeling upset at the reported jibe and pushed the pace of my treadmill up to try and burn off my anger.

"It was the tone that was nasty, not just what he said," Meryl continued," but listen you know we all think of you as one hundred percent girl"

I pounded into the treadmill, wishing that I was running on top of the loathsome teacher's head. Meryl upped her pace to keep up with me. Soon we were both dripping from our exertions. The programme on the machine changed to cool down and we both began breathing more easily.

"Oh listen, there was something else," Meryl suddenly said.

"What?"

"I was talking to Rachel yesterday, you know in the Netball team," she continued.

I nodded my recognition of the name.

"Well, listen to this," Meryl said with a smile on her face," she was so disgusted with Franklinstein that she said she was going to tell her boyfriend that he had to drop Biology too!"

"Who's her boyfriend?" I asked.

"You know, 'The Hulk'," she replied.

"You mean Tom, in the Rugby team?" I asked.

"Yes and do you know what that will mean?" she asked.

I thought for a few seconds and then the implication of what Meryl was hinting at struck me.

"There won't be anyone left in the class at all!" I said jubilantly.

"Ten out of ten, give that girl a gold star, the other two Neanderthals in the class are bound to follow his lead" said Meryl laughing, " come on let me show you some of the other machines here. Fancy doing a bit of rowing?"

I followed Meryl and we spent twenty minutes rowing, and then some further time on the cross trainer and exercise bikes. I was very impressed by the newness of the equipment and the fact that we didn't have to queue for anything, compared with the local authority gym that I had used a few times.

"Well what do you think?" asked Meryl as we made our way back to the changing rooms after a short session on the weights.

"It's brill," I replied," how much did you say it was?" I asked.

"Twenty a month, off peak for students," she replied.

"Sounds ideal, just the thing I need to build up my strength for football," I said.

Meryl, gave me a strange look and then smiled at me and we changed to relax in the spa and steam room.

"Thanks for suggesting this Meryl," I said as we sat in the darkened steam room, listening to relaxing classical music.

"I'm glad you came, Celyn, " she responded, " it's strange I think this is the longest time I've spent alone with you since we....." she struggled to complete the sentence.

"were together?" I suggested.

"Well yes, that's what I meant, except that feels like it was with someone else, a different Celyn. It's all a bit confusing" she said.

I put my hand gently on hers.

"Meryl, I am so glad we can be friends after everything that happened and remember I owe you an awful lot"

She squeezed my hand in response and smiled at me. I felt the need to change the subject.

"Listen," I said in a light hearted tone, " tell me how Rachel managed to persuade 'The Hulk' to join the boycott"

"It's a bit obvious, what do you think she said," Meryl smirked at me.

I looked at her, she smiled at me, she made an obscene gesture. Realisation dawned. I put my hand to my mouth.

"Oh, you mean that!"

"Yes," she said laughing.

I joined her and soon the two of us were almost doubled under with our merriment. The four adults in the room, along with us, looked on disapprovingly.

Later on after long, luxurious showers we were sat in the members' lounge drinking our complimentary coffees. Phillip the trainer passed me the bank forms to sign to complete my membership.

"That's great Celyn," he said," glad to have you as a member"

I was aware that he was appraising me and his body language indicated an attraction, I was aware that he was very hunky too.

"So, tell me, what sort of programme would be interested in following?" he asked.

"I mainly need to build up my strength and speed," I replied.

"Why is that?" Phillip asked.

"I need to keep up with the rest of the team," I replied and then continued further on seeing confusion on his face," the school football team"

"I'm not sure I understand, what is the problem?" he inquired.

"She plays for the BOY'S football team in school," interjected Meryl, " she was captain of the Welsh schools' under sixteen team last year"

A strange mixture of emotions flashed across Phillip's face. He recovered his composure and responded,

"That's no problem, I'll draw up a suitable programme for you and it'll be at reception the next time you come"

I thanked him and we both left the warm, comfortable surroundings of PPL's little sports' outpost in Casnewydd.

"I can't wait to get to school tomorrow to see what the reaction of the Biology department is," I said as we put our coats on brave the inclement weather outside.

"It should be fun," responded Meryl," by the way do you know what?"

"What?" I asked

"He fancied you," she replied.

"No he didn't!" I said a little indignantly.

"Yes he did and you fancied him too," Meryl responded.

"He's a handsome man, but don't be silly, I love Siá´n" I stated firmly.

Meryl's father pulled up in his Zafira, with the rest of Mery's family inside.

"See you tomorrow, but think, you won't always be with Siá´n you know," Meryl said before running off through the heavy rain into the refuge of the car.

I waved back to her as she left and pondered her last remark.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part Seven

"It doesn't matter, lucky for you at least someone is prepared to answer the phone in the house. Listen guess what?" Taran asked mysteriously. "Dunno, you're pregnant or something?" The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.08 - Y Gamp Lawn - Grand Slam! by Alys

---

An annoying buzzing sound penetrated my semi-consciousness. I sleepily flapped a hand in the general direction of the noise hoping to waft away whatever creature or object, was responsible for disturbing my slumber. The sound stopped. I snuggled back down under the blankets and concentrated on returning to dreamland.

The buzz came back, I half opened an eye to try and locate the source of the irritation. I noticed a small pink rectangular object buzzing and vibrating insanely on my side table. I reached out, fumbled and then grasped my mobile phone. I looked at the time on the cover. The little screen showed ten minutes to eight. Ten minutes to eight! Since this was at least an hour before my regular getting up time I responded to the phone call in the only way possible.

The smack of the phone hitting the arm of the armchair was a satisfying sound to my semi awake mental state.

"That'll teach you for trying to wake me up," I scolded the phone, and closed my eye again and reached out to Morpheus's arms.

I looked down at Franklinstein tied down on the dissecting table. I pulled the meat carver out of the block of super sharp knives.

"Let's see if you have a heart then," I said to my victim, with an evil grin.

I sharpened the knife, enjoying my tormenting teacher's fear as he anticipated his demise. He tried to talk but that only made the duct tape on his mouth grip tighter. I prepared for the first incision. There was a distracting sound from the door. Banging and shouting, words that were a little indistinct. I chose to ignore this interruption and pressed the knife tip into the skin of the evil educator, a little drop of blood appeared.

A strong hand shook my shoulder, I tried to push it off, words penetrated my semi awareness, Franklinstein faded away as I opened my eyes to see my Mother standing over me.

"Celyn, it's your sister on the phone," she said as she held the cord less handset near to me.

"Alright, alright, you know what time it is?" I asked a bit groggily.

"Time to get up anyway, young lady," my Mum said, as she thrust the phone into my hand.

"Hello what you want?" I spoke venomously into the black plastic object of my displeasure.

"Hi Sis and good morning to you too," replied my dark clothed sister.

"Taran do you know what time it is?" I asked.

"It's ten minutes after the last time I tried to phone you on your mobile, which was after I had sent you five text messages. Is your phone switched off?" she inquired.

"Well sort of," I replied a little guiltily.

"It doesn't matter, lucky for you at least someone is prepared to answer the phone in the house. Listen guess what?" Taran asked mysteriously.

"Dunno, you're pregnant or something?"

There was a loud guffaw, "you must be joking," Taran responded," I'll give you a clue, what day is it today?"

"Saturday," I responded.

"A good start, but what date?" she continued.

"Dunno, March something," I replied, tiring rapidly of my sister's Mastermind game.

"You're hopeless, it's March 15th, and what is special about today?"

"Dunno..um..yes I do it's Saint Celyn's day, the patron saint of sixteen year olds who want to go back to sleep, now get lost and let me catch up on my missing hours"

"Listen you mindless school girl," Taran said, sarcastically," I don't know which secluded retreat you are living in but for almost every else in Wales it's the day of THE MATCH!"

"Oh the Rugby, why didn't you say that in the first place, so what about it?"

"I've got tickets!" she said triumphantly.

"You've got tickets!" I responded excited at the idea.

"Yes I've got tickets!" she repeated.

"You've got tickets!" I responded again.

"Celyn," Taran said after a slight pause..

"Yes?"

"Are you a parrot?" she asked.

"Pretty Polly, pretty polly, pretty polly....." I replied in my best parrot voice.

"Shut up, you and listen," Taran said, laughing," I've not only got tickets I've got spare tickets for you to come too"

"Wow! To see the match?" I responded, feeling excited at the prospect of being able to attend one of the great sporting occasions, "how?"

Taran explained how her girlfriend, Gini, had got them from her father, whose company had decided to upgrade to a hospitality box and therefore had some spare tickets for the grandstand. I arranged to meet her in Caerdydd in a couple of hours.

I phoned Siá´n and after a similar difficulty in getting him to re-engage his brain, that my sister had had with me, he agreed with alacrity to come down to the big smoke with me for the game.

The five minutes to eleven from Y Fenni pulled into the train station in Caerdydd, only fifteen minutes later than scheduled as each stop on the way had had to be extended while rugby supporters squeezed into every possible space on the three carriages of the local South Wales service. With relief Siá´n and I exited the confined space that had been our joyous travel experience for the last twenty minutes and resumed the normal practice of being able to breathe independently instead of in turns.

The human tide of rugby shirted Welsh people, of all ages, genders and sizes, flowed through the station and out into the gray, wet March morning. We were carried with the waves of excited, noisy, slightly inebriated people until we reached the concourse and saw Taran and Gini, arm in arm.

"Hey Taran! Hey Gini!" I shouted as made my way through the scrum of people and I hugged my Goth sister.

"Hi Sis," said Taran, hugging me back," nice top, looks a bit tight though," she continued, smiling.

We pulled apart and Taran introduced Gini to me and Siá´n, while I introduced Siá´n to them.

Gini was a taller, bigger version of my sister with similar engothedness, but both of them had made concessions to the occasion by wearing rugby scarves. Siá´n and I were wearing the rugby shirts that we had bought nine months ago for the rugby world cup. His was a little short, as he had grown a couple of inches since then, mine was a little tight in the chest area, due to some changes I had experienced there.

"What now Taran?" I asked, "kick off's not for another five hours or so"

"We look for a nice bar to hang out," she replied.

"They all look a bit crowded here," I commented, surveying the pubs in the vicinity already overflowing with people.

"No problem Celyn, " said Gini, " the union building isn't far away"

"The students union do you mean Gini?" asked Siá´n.

"Yes, it won't be as full as the pubs here," she replied.

"But we're not students, how can we get in?" I asked.

"It's not a problem, you both look old enough and they don't check ID there", my sister reassured.

Some quarter of an hour later we reached the anonymous concrete block of the University Student Union building of Prifysgol Caerdydd, opposite the magnificent, imposing National Museum. We found a corner of the open spaced student bar and sat down on some comfortable, leather sofas.

Gini and Taran went off for some refreshments while Siá´n and I relaxed, sat next to each other. My phone buzzed. I flicked it open and read the message.

Remember to wave at the camera xx Mum

I smiled and briefly replied.

kk xx Cel

"I'm really looking forward to this," said Siá´n," I haven't been in the Millennium Stadium before"

"Nor me, it looks amazing on the tele," I replied.

My sister and her friend returned with sandwiches and soft drinks for us and beer for them. We chatted while we ate our food. Gini and Taran entertained Siá´n and myself with tales of uni and living in the big city. Our events in school and town seemed trivial by comparison.

"Uni sounds such a great experience I can't wait to go," I said after listening to the tale of another late night party.

Taran laughed, " It's not fun a lot of he time, there are lectures, work, washing, cooking and other boring stuff. I really miss Mum sometimes, especially when I have a bag full of dirty clothes"

The next couple of hours went quickly between chatting, joking and the odd game of pool. Soon it was time to cheer Ireland on the TV, in their attempt to beat the old enemy, England. Unfortunately our cheers were not enough and soon the Irish team were heading for a heavy defeat. We decided to head off early for the stadium hoping that the omens of defeat for our celtic cousins in Scotland and Ireland didn't auger a similar outcome for our team.

Soon we were sitting in our seats, half way up the middle seating area of the stadium, in a great position to see the whole of the pitch. The stadium rapidly filled. Around us were collecting people of all genders and ages, wearing mostly Wales supporting clothes but with a sprinkling of French outfits. A French couple in their thirties sat down next to us. They took out a plastic drinking bottle from a ruck-sac but instead of the soft drink they poured out some red wine! An ingenious way of getting through the bottle search at the entrance.

The attractive, dark headed woman turned to me, gesturing with the bottle.

"voulez vous du vin ?"

I took a little sip, thanked her and passed it back.

Soon we were all conversing in broken French and English while nearby a French jazz band played a variety of jolly tunes, competing with the rather more formal military brass band on the field. Parts of the crowd started singing along to the band, and soon the volume of sound increased and echoed around the stadium with its closed roof.

"Rhowch Groeso, Please Welcome," came the voice over the tannoy, "Tá®m Cymru - The Welsh Team!"

The crowd went crazy cheering at the entry of the team, led by the daughters of one of the Welsh heroes from a previous generation who had died prematurely the year before. The level of excitement went up until almost a relief the game started.

The next hour of play was one of almost continuous tension as both sets of players gave everything to the struggle for superiority. The fearsome tackling of both sides, the crunch of bodies hurtling into each other was at times breathtaking. At 60 minutes the score was level with the result in doubt and then a flash of genius. In eight seconds of wizardry the smallest player on the pitch had scored and transformed the game. The mood became more and more relaxed as Wales took control and extended their lead. By the last few minutes the whole crowd was singing the unofficial national anthem.

"And we were singing
hymns and arias
land of my fathers
ar hyd y nos"

Suddenly the referee blew his whistle.

"Buddugoliaeth i Gymru! Victory to Wales!"

Not a Welsh person left the stadium for an hour as the team was presented with the trophy that no one had ever believed they could win. Eventually after all the ceremonies and victory laps were completed we joined the slow huddle out of the stadium, still in a euphoric state at the result.

We walked out into the drizzle of the gray evening and Taran started off the chorus of the well known song by Catatonia

"Everyday when I wake up"
We all joined in the next line.

"I thank the lord I'm Welsh!"

"Wait Seren, I think it would be a good idea if you told Mrs Williams and Mr Jones, what happened to you and WHY it happened" I said to him. Seren hesitated and looked at Mrs Williams for direction. "Please Mrs Williams," I continued," the assault on Seren was due to the same prejudice and intolerance shown by Mr Franklin towards me. Can he explain what happened to him?" The Price To Pay - Vol. 4.09 - Support by Alys

---

Part 4.09
 

"Someone loves you, you've got a text!" came the familiar voice from my mobile.

The loud message pierced my state of semi slumber and I opened my eyes to investigate. The darkness of the room was a surprise. My eyes flicked over to my bedside table to confirm the early nature of the interruption. I made out the numbers five, three and five on the faint red LED display.

"Five - thirty-five," I mumbled to myself, "who the heck is texting me so early"

I reached over for my mobile and flicked it open to read the short message.

"can't face school, sry"

It was Seren. I had spoken to him the previous evening when he had phoned me to tell me that he had recovered, physically, from the assault, but that he was going to stay off school for a while. It had taken me half an hour to persuade him that he had to face his attackers and I had promised to do everything I could to help him. I sat up in bed and typed a quick reply.

"yes u can, i b there 2 support u, don't wry, u'll be ok, pls come"

I sent the message and then lay back and listened to the gentle songs of Meinir Gwilym on my MP3 player, while I waited for Seren's reply. The sixth track of the album had started, about twenty minutes later, when I felt my phone vibrate on my bed and heard Siá´n's silly pre-recorded message. I flicked open the phone.

"can u come on bus with me?"

I considered his request for a few moments and then replied.

"Of course, what time does your bus go?"

The response was almost instantaneous.

"About 8, thnx"

I didn't feel that I had much of a choice, even though it meant that I either had to walk for over half an hour to Seren's bus stop or cycle up and leave my bike lying around all day in not the most salubrious area of town. I calculated the time involved and realised that I needed to get up, get dressed and have breakfast that moment, in order to have enough time to meet Seren.

Twenty minutes later I was stacking my plate and cup in the dishwasher when my Mother, still in her nightdress opened the door to the kitchen. She wiped the sleep from her eyes and stopped in surprise at seeing me.

"Celyn, what are you doing up so early?" she asked.

"I've decided to evolve," I replied cryptically

"Evolve?" my Mother said, confused.

"I'm going to be the first of a new generation of super teens, that can survive without lie-ins in the morning. You will soon be envious of our energy and great conversational abilities at the beginning of the day..." I rambled on.

"Humph!, you are one of the worst teenage grunters I know.," she interrupted," come on I know you too well to forgo an extra half and hour in bed, what's going on?"

I explained about catching the bus with Seren.

"OK, you'd better get going soon, or you'll miss it. Don't forget your coat I think it's started to rain," she responded.

"Damn, I hate getting to school with wet clothes on." I said in disgust.

"Now, if you had not said anything about being some sort of super teen," my Mother said slyly," I might have considered giving you a lift to the bus stop, but I imagine you would consider that beneath you now"

I walked over and hugged her.

"Please Mum, can you drop me there, I promise that I'll..........." I hesitated considering what I could promise and not live to regret. I remembered some rash promises that I had made for favours in the past. A month's hoovering the house had been one of my most ill considered.

"Gone on, make it worth my while," said my Mother.

"...I'll, I'll...um...grunt less in the morning?" I suggested.

My Mother laughed and then hurried to get ready to take me to meet Seren. While I was waiting I phoned Siá´n to explain about the change in plans, he usually picked me up on his way to school. To my surprise he offered to come with me.

A quarter of an hour later, we jumped out of my Mother's car and made a dash for the shelter. The rain was coming down heavily and I was glad that I hadn't walked though town.

"Hi Seren!," I yelled as I ran up to him and gave him a big hug.

A group of three boys in the year above Seren, who were standing a few metres away, stopped talking and stared at the scene, their mouths open in surprise at a member of the sixth from having anything to do with someone they clearly despised.

"Hello Seren," said Siá´n, as he made it into the refuge from the rain.

The mouths of the boys in the lower school, opened wider and they made goldfish noises in astonishment at the unexpected developments.

"Um, excuse me, Celyn," said one of the boys, a child of medium height, "how do you know him?"

"Seren's a good friend of mine," I replied, with my arm around Seren's narrow shoulders.

"He's a good friend of both of us," added Siá´n.

"Oh, " said the boy who had asked the question and then returned to his friends and after a short while they resumed their conversation about Xbox 360 games.

"Thanks for coming Celyn," said Seren quietly, "you too Siá´n"

"It's the least I could do, Seren," I said, giving him another hug.

The bus turned up, more or less on time, and we boarded. We chatted about the day ahead and about the weekend just past. They both laughed when I told them about Rachel's method of getting her boyfriend to join the Biology boycott. Seren explained that his Dad had told him that he had to learn to fight back when he was bullied.

An hour later we sat in the reception area as we waited to meet Mrs Williams, the headteacher. She had announced in morning assembly for me to come and see her straightaway. I had grabbed Seren and told him to come with me. He had been reluctant but I had insisted that he explained the circumstances of the assault to Mrs Williams.

"Ah there you are," came a familiar voice.

I looked up to see Jonesy (Mr Jones), the head of the Biology department.

"Hello Mr Jones," I said.

"It's time to put a stop to this stupid lesson boycott," he said gruffly.

Before I could say anything in reply Mrs Williams opened the door of her office and ushered us in.

"Thank you for coming Mr Jones and you too Celyn. Who is this boy, Celyn?" she asked.

I explained about the assault on Seren.

"Oh yes that is very regrettable, I hope you are feeling better now Seren, if you could wait outside I'll talk to you after I've finished having a discussion with Mr Jones and Celyn"

Seren turned to leave the room. I put my hand on his arm.

"Wait Seren, I think it would be a good idea if you told Mrs Williams and Mr Jones, what happened to you and WHY it happened" I said to him.

Seren hesitated and looked at Mrs Williams for direction.

"Please Mrs Williams," I continued," the assault on Seren was due to the same prejudice and intolerance shown by Mr Franklin towards me. Can he explain what happened to him?"

Mr Jones looked angrily at me after my last remark.

Mrs Williams paused before replying gently.

"Sit down please Seren and explain the events of Friday"

Seren slowly and hesitantly described the incident of the previous Friday. Mrs Williams took some notes and after Seren had finished speaking she picked up her phone.

"Nyree," she spoke to her secretary, "can you get Rhiannon to come and look after Seren and can you arrange for the boys on the list I'm sending out with him to be withdrawn from lessons and booked in to see me after lunchtime. Oh yes and can you get hold of their parents and tell them that they are facing a ‘fixed term exclusion’"

The Headteacher stood up and walked around to where Seren was slumped in his chair, emotionally exhausted after reliving last Friday. She knelt down so that she had eye contact. She put her hand gently on his.

"Thank you Seren for telling me what happened to you. You are a very brave person for sticking up for Celyn. Mrs Jenkins, your year head, will look after you for the rest of the day and don't worry these boys won't hurt you again."

She then helped him out the room and gave him a note for her secretary.

There was a silence in the room for a little while. Both Mrs Williams and Mr Jones looked shaken by the story that Seren had told them. Finally Mrs Williams looked at me.

"Celyn, thank you so much for helping Seren, you are such a caring person," she said smiling at me. She turned to Mr Jones.

"I will not have intolerance and prejudice in my school Mr Jones, clearly I was wrong in my interpretation of the incident in the lower sixth Biology lesson. The actions of the rest of the class and Celyn's support for poor little Seren has shown me that." she said with determination in her voice, "you will instruct Mr Franklin to apologise to Celyn and the rest of the class as soon as possible"

"But Mrs Williams..." blustered Mr Jones.

"There are no buts, Mr Jones, I have made my decision and it is final. I assume that is acceptable to you Celyn?" she asked.

"Yes, Mrs Williams, I am happy with your decision," I replied.

"If you would leave us now, Celyn, I have some issues of staff training to discuss with Mr Jones," she concluded.

I left the room with a complete feeling of elation. I had anticipated being hauled over the coals by the headteacher instead she had seen my point of view. I hurried to the sixth form common room hoping to catch some of my friends to tell them the news.

I felt the sly kick on my ankles and the next thing I knew the floor was rushing towards me at an alarming rate. My hands hit the ground painfully, as I tried to break my fall, and I felt pain shooting up from my knees at the same time, as I fell awkwardly.

"Freak!," someone shouted.

I turned to see two boys disappear around the corner of the main school corridor.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part 4.09

"Hey, girls, ready for the show?" asked Meryl who just joined us. "Hi Meryl, to be honest I'm a bit nervous about going in," I said. "Come on let's go in and get the best seats," she responded as she opened the door into the empty lab. The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.10 - Apologies by Alys

---

Part 4.10
 

My heart was thumping as I made my way along the corridor.

I stopped outside the lab and waited. The moment that I had never expected had arrived, and I had arrived early to the lesson to savour the experience.

"Hey Celyn, you're keen," said Sioned, who had arrived a few seconds after me.

"To be honest I'm a bit nervous about all this," I said as I took some slow deep breaths to try and calm myself. I had had a mixture of feelings since I received my copy of the letter from the headteacher, to all the pupils doing A' level Biology, for them to turn up at the lab to meet the Head of Biology and Franklinstein.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," reassured Sioned," I'm looking forward to seeing Franklin grovel. Oh what's with the trousers? That's not your usual look"

"I've still got the bandage on my knee from Monday," I replied, "luckily it's mostly the carpet burn that's sore, there's hardly any bruising now"

I thought how disappointed my Mother had been these last couple of days that I had worn trousers rather than a skirt to school. She seemed to think that unless I looked as girly as possible going to school it might somehow lead people to question my gender.

"Hey, girls, ready for the show?" asked Meryl who just joined us.

"Hi Meryl, to be honest I'm a bit nervous about going in," I said.

"Come on let's go in and get the best seats," she responded as she opened the door into the empty lab.

As we walked in the bell for the lesson changeover rang and the corridor behind us rapidly filled with pupils of all shapes and sizes navigating their way to their next room. We sat at a bench in halfway down the length of the lab with some other members of the class. Within a minute or so the rest of the class had come in and found places to sit.

There was a feeling of expectation, excitement tempered by nervousness. It felt a bit like waiting for the results of an exam that you know that you have done well in. You are pretty certain of good news but there is always the chance that something unexpected will happen.

"Where do you think Franklinstein is?" asked Sioned, " he is usually here before us"

"This is really weird," Meryl replied," do you think he's bottled out?"

The buzz of conversation increased in volume as we waited for the arrival of the teacher at the centre of the whole dispute, and discussed the possible reasons for his tardiness.

"Here he is," hissed Sioned, nodding her head towards our Biology teacher entering the classroom from the entrance to the corridor rather than from the prep. room in the back.

The conversation stopped as we all looked up to see Mr Franklin, looking rather ashen faced, make his way towards the teachers' desk at the front of the room. Our surprise at this unusual beginning to the lesson was heightened further by the arrival of the Head of Biology, Mr Jones. He walked over to stand next to where Franklinstein was sitting. He looked at all of us and coughed to clear his throat.

"Thank you everyone for coming so promptly to this meeting. I hope we will be able to put the misunderstanding behind us and move on to ensure the success of all of you in the Biology course. But before I say anything else, Mr Franklin would like to say something"

Mr Jones turned towards his colleague, who was holding a piece of paper with print on it.

"I would like to firstly apologise to Celyn Morus," he began quite hesitantly," for my comments about people who, for whatever reason, are diverse in their bodily gender or gender presentation. My remarks were clearly hurtful to you, Celyn, so please accept this public apology. I would also like to apologise to the rest of you for any offence I may have caused to you"

At that point he stood up and, holding onto his piece of paper with the preprepared comments on it, he walked out of the classroom without another word.

We are all stunned and no one said a word. There was complete silence in the room as we struggled to come to terms with not only the contents of Franklinstein's apology but also the theatricality of the event.

"I would also like to add the apology of the Biology department as a whole," said Mr Jones, finally interrupting the stunned silence,"and I would like you, Celyn, to accept this small gift as some recompense for the hurt you have suffered"

He strode forward with a small packet, neatly wrapped with my name on it, and handed it to me.

"I have one other thing to say to you before I end this meeting," he continued," since I'm sure that most of you will find it hard to concentrate on the mundane details of the Biology course at the moment"

We all stared at him, wondering what other amazing things could happen in this room.

"Mr Franklin has made a mistake and has apologised for it and will be helped by the school with a retraining course to improve his understanding of gender issues. Under the circumstances I have decided, in consultation with the headteacher and the rest of the Science department that Mr Franklin will no longer be taking this class.

I mouthed a 'wow' to Meryl, as Mr Jones paused to take a sip of water from the glass on the desk to his side.

"I feel that in order for you all to get the standard of education that you all deserve that I will take this class from now on. There will be one problem in that for one of your periods I am taking the upper sixth class, which would normally be a problem. But we should be able to re-arrange your practical sessions for that period."

The rest of what Jonesy said was a blur of sounds as I took in the significance of what had happened in five short minutes. Our little protest had resulted in a complete victory. Mr Jones finished his announcements, I caught something about reading the next chapter, on Mitosis and Meiosis, by the next lesson and then he had gone.

"We did it!," said Sioned, before launching herself at me to give me a hug.

"We made him eat his words," said Meryl as she put her arm around me," he won't pick on anyone else for a long time"

Others in the class offered their congratulations and everyone began to drift out, still marvelling at what they had just observed.

"Before you all go," I said standing up off my chair to get everyone's attention, " thanks for supporting me. As you all know I didn't chose to be as I am and like many other people, who have life changing experiences, I have to make the best of my circumstances. Sometimes it's so hard.......so thanks for everything"

I felt tears welling up but also the comforting closeness of Sioned and Meryl, my best friends next to me, supporting me, as I would to them if they ever needed me.

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part 4.10

"Not having a shower, Celyn?" asked Erica, in a challenging way. "No," I replied," I usually shower before going to bed" "Each to her own....by the way, what did you say the school was that you go to?" she asked very slyly. The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.11 - Proof by Alys

---

Part 4.11
 

"Excuse me, I'm looking for Jean Williams," I enquired of the busy looking young man in a tracksuit on the reception at Canolfan Mileniwm* in Casnewydd.

He looked briefly up from his computer, let his eyes wander from my face to my breasts and then looked over to my right.

"Jean!," he shouted at a very fit looking woman in her thirties, who had just entered the building," someone to see you", before turning back to his computer.

I muttered thanks and then turned to face the approaching football coach. I had looked up the list of local woman's football teams on the Welsh FA website, the previous week. A brief email from me giving a brief outline of my experience, apart from the international caps, had resulted in aninvitation to a training session.

"Hi," she said, smiling, as she put out her hand to greet me," you must be Celyn"

"Yes"

"I must admit I am intrigued to see how you shape up, I've not come across any other girls who have played in boys' teams until your age," she remarked.

"I hope I can fit in," I ventured, quietly.

"I hope so, we need some new young players if we are continue to improve and hopefully one day challenge Caerdydd," said Jean a little wistfully, as if she knew how unlikely that was to happen since Caerdydd Ladies played in the top women's division in the UK with Liverpool and Chelsea.

"That would be a huge achievement," I commented, diplomatically.

"Well you can only dream," said Jean, chuckling a little," come on, the club room is this way, you're a bit early so maybe we can have a quick kick about before the others arrive."

She turned into a narrow corridor, off the main concourse, I followed her, past the fading posters of former men's teams that lined the walls.

It was nearly a week after getting Franklinstein's apology and I was feeling very positive. I had quickly caught up with the assignments I had missed, I had made good progress in school netball and football training. On top of that I had spent the night with Siá´n on Saturday, after going to JJ's. As I followed the football coach to the changing rooms my mind relived a few of the pleasant moments.

"Here we are," said Jean, pausing outside a door with a plastic sign, 'Casnewydd Ladies FC', attached to it.

I followed her in and after putting my bag on a vacant bench, changed into my football kit.

"If you have any valuables, I can put them in the office," said Jean, after we had both changed.

"Thanks," I said, handing over my purse, keys and phone.

We jogged out onto the pitch, which was empty apart from a few young boys having a kick about in the far corner. Jean ran me through a range of exercises, before testing me with some difficult passes. The level of skill involved was fairly basic and I didn't want to give too good an impression of myself, so I did only the routine things. Despite this, by the time the team members started to arrive, I noticed that Jean was obviously appreciative of what I could do.

"You have some nice touches," She said to me as we ended our little practice," you might fit in quite well"

"Thanks," I said.

"Come on, I'll introduce you to the rest of the girls," she said before jogging back to the changing room.

Inside there were about twenty of the team, ranging from, I guessed, late teens to early thirties. The coach introduced me, naming each of them in turn. I forgot nearly all the names as soon as I heard them, apart from a rather sour, stocky looking thirty year old who's name I remembered, Erica, since she looked at me in such an unpleasant way. I remembered the name Alison, Cerys and Eifiona, but wasn't completely sure which name fitted which face.

We all followed Jean onto the pitch and soon we were working through some intensive training activities. I felt comfortable with the pace that was being set, but I noticed one or two others, including Erica, who were struggling to keep up.

The coach put me in what was obviously the 'B' team, composed of the younger, inexperienced and the older, slower players. She put me on the right wing, but I was more or less a spectator as the 'A' team dominated and none of my team felt passing to me to be a useful practice. Soon we were down two goals. I decided to go and search for the ball, if no-one was going to pass to me.

I tackled on the 'A' team midfield players near the half way mark and took it forward. There was a crowd blocking my progress in the centre of the pitch so I quickly took it out to the left wing, where I noticed Erica waiting to either tackle me cleanly or if necessary, if I read her facial expression correctly, to hack me down.

"You won't get past me girlie, you might as well pass," she hissed at me.

My response was to quickly feint right, then at the last moment, when Erica was fully committed to move in that direction, I transferred the ball to my left foot and was past her bearing down on the goal. I was tempted to hit it into the right hand corner, but i saw a team mate free in the centre so I just took the ball near the goalkeeper before flicking it to my fellow 'B' team member who then had the simplest of tap ins into an empty goal.

"Yes!," she shouted," I've scored!"

I ran over to congratulate her. We gave each other a brief hug.

"Thanks Celyn, that was a great run, thanks for that pass, it was very unselfish of you, I'm Cerys by the way," she said as we jogged back to the centre circle for the restart.

"My pleasure, Cerys," I said," let's see if we can get a few more. Listen, as long as you can be unmarked in the box, I'll get you some scoring passes"

The 'A' team were a little more wary of me after the goal and put more players in defence. As a result for the next ten minutes the game was fairly even. Suddenly though I saw my chance, there was a loose passacross the field and before anyone else could react I had run with the ball forward. Once again Erica stood in my way, this time I feinted right, then left and finally went right to go past her.

"You little bitch," she hissed and lashed out with a leg, but she was hopelessly slow in trying to bring me down as I was well past her before she reacted.

The goalkeeper rushed out to try and block me so I just lobbed the ball over her head to where Cerys had managed to get into an unmarked position. She gratefully accepted the easy header into an empty net.

She ran towards me and we high fived.

"Brilliant, Celyn, thanks," she said in her joy at scoring.

"Again, my pleasure," I said.

"Last minute, ladies!," announced Jean before blowing the whistle begin the game again.

I sprinted forward and stole the restart pass off the 'A' team attacker, before they realised the danger, and, after skipping through a couple of half hearted passes, was soon closing in on the goal. I heard Erica lumbering after me from the side but instead of upping my pace to escape her challenge, I did an unwise thing given her attitude towards me. I turned and faced her onslaught. As she tried to scythe me down I beat her on her left side and then when she turned to confront me again I beat her on the left side before speeding to the right of the penalty area andunleashing a fierce drive into the left top corner, with my left foot.

Jean blew the whistle to end the practice game. I turned and jogged, with the rest of the players, into the changing rooms.

"That was amazing," said Cerys," where did you learn to do that?"

"Oh, it's not that good, I guess I've had quite a bit of practice," I replied.

I noticed, as we approached the changing room, that I was getting quite a few glances, a lot more than at the start of the training session. Some were appreciative, others seemed more intrigued, while a small number gave the impression of being underwhelmed by their newsiest recruit.

We walked into the club room and I got a few more nice comments about my ability. I was aware that Erica seemed to be giving me a lot of glances, I felt it a little embarrassing. I started changing into my street clothes, while most of the others stripped off to shower.

"Not having a shower, Celyn?" asked Erica, in a challenging way.

"No," I replied," I usually shower before going to bed"

"Each to her own....by the way, what did you say the school was that you go to?" she asked very slyly.

"I didn't say, but it's Cwm Wysg," I replied.

I turned to face Jean, who had just come out of the office with my valuables.

"How did I do, coach?" I asked.

"You did extremely well, Celyn, I can see the makings of a fine player in you," she replied smiling," as long as you don't do too much showboating as you did tonight"

"Sorry about that but................"

"I know who you are!" interrupted Erica.

"What....who are you talking about?" I asked.

"Don't deny it, you're that tranny thing that is allowed to wear woman's clothes at his school," she said accusingly.

"No, don't be silly, I'm a girl," I countered.

"What are you talking about, Erica?" asked Jean.

"My cousin Eunice is there, she told me all about you, and you used to captain the boys' school football team, oh yes, I remember now, she said that you were even Welsh schools' captain last year," Erica pronounced triumphantly.

"Is this true, Celyn?" Jean asked with a look of shock on her face.

I hesitated.

"Hey girls," yelled Erica at the others," you'd better cover up, this is a boy!"

"Listen it's not like that at all, I am a girl, legally in all ways, I was a boy, oh it's so complicated," I said, flustered and beginning to feel like crying in despair at my past once again chasing after me.

Jean, looking a lot less friendly than earlier, ushered me into her little office. I sat down on one of the hard chairs there and she stood in the doorway.

"I'm going to lock you in here and I'm afraid, if you can't get someone to come here, in the next hour, with documentary proof of your legal gender I'm going to have to call the police," she said abruptly.

* Millenium Centre

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part 4.11

"Well, sorry to be nosey," said Dionne very hesitantly," and I didn't really remember everything from the assembly, but do you still have a ...you know what, a thingie.....?" "A thingie?" I asked. "Yes you know," she said looking suggestively at the top of my legs. The Price To Pay - Vol. 4.12 - Answers by Alys

---

Part 4.12
 

I sat in my temporary prison, staring at the mobile phone that had failed so far to bring me a response to my numerous text and phone messages.

Neither my Mother or my Father had replied yet, I looked at my watch and wondered if I would be spending the night in a police cell. There was a little over half an hour left before Jean's deadline expired.

I heard the noise of the rest of the team leaving. I cursed my bad luck in sticking to my usual routine and deciding not to have a shower straight after an evening training session. It would have been harder for Erica to make the accusations if I had been naked in front of the rest of the team. As I waited forlornly for some response from my family I pondered Jean's reaction in not giving me an opportunity to explain myself before locking me in her office.

I heard the door key turn, I hoped Jean hadn't already called the police as there was still almost half an hour before her deadline was reached.

The door to the office opened and Jean stepped into the room, looking much less antagonistic than earlier. She pulled out a chair and sat down opposite me. She looked at me for a few seconds as if unsure what to say. When she did eventually speak I was very surprised by what she said.

"Celyn, listen, I'm sorry for not letting you give your side of the story earlier, and for locking you in."

"Why?" I asked, unsure how to react.

"There is a lot going on here, that you don't know about," she said a little mysteriously," why don't you tell me more about yourself and then I'll explain how things work here."

For the next ten minutes I briefly outlined my story, including full details of my football career to date.

"I'm so sorry, and you had an offer from Man U too, that must have been hard to take," she said after I had finished.

"I was bitter for a while," I responded," but someone I met briefly showed me the importance of making the most of what life has offered you."

"It's good that you can be so positive," she commented," listen, come on down to the bar so that we can talk in a more relaxing environment. I need a glass of wine to unwind too. If you like I could get you one of their tooth destroying puddings, they are really nice and probably good for you, in small doses. I know that this isn't sufficient to completely apologise for earlier but....."

"I'm not sure," I said interrupting and still not sure how I felt about what seemed a complete volte-face," my Mum will be here soon to pick me up"

"I could give you a lift home," she suggested.

My mobile phone rang.

"What's up Celyn?" my Mother asked," I was just leaving to come and pick you up, sorry I didn't reply earlier I was in the garden clearing some of the autumn leaf fall"

I considered my options for a second and in the end sticky pudding triumphed.

"Oh Mum, it was just to to tell you Jean, the coach, said she will drop me home," I replied.

"That's great, Celyn, that will save me quite a bit of driving. I'll see you later then"

"Thanks for that Celyn, for giving me a chance to explain. I'm sure you'll enjoy the pudding" said Jean.

Ten minutes later we were sat down at a table in the quiet bar, Jean was sipping her glass of Cariad*, while I slowly savoured my hot treacle sponge pudding with cream.

"Celyn, let me say how much I am sorry for what I did. There are reasons for it," said Jean, speaking thoughtfully but clearly with sincerity.

"I'm sorry Jean, I can't think of anything that justifies locking me up for over half an hour. I feel like I've been treated as a criminal. In fact I was wondering if I would end up in a police cell tonight," I responded with the anger obvious in my voice.

"Yes, you are right, Celyn, it is hard to justify what I did and I understand your anger. This is the situation though. Erica made a very serious accusation against you and I panicked and felt I had to appear to be taking a hard line on you in front of her"

I opened my mouth to protest at her comments. She held up her hand, palm facing me.

"Wait, Celyn, before you say anything else, let me explain why," she said quickly," you need to be aware that Erica's Dad is the main sponsor of the team, he is also the chair of the committee that runs this sports centre. He also has many friends on the committee, his word carries a lot of weight.

I put my spoon down and concentrated on trying to understand the internal politics of Casnewydd Ladies AFC.

"On top of that his company pays my salary as part time coach and I work for one of his friends' companies in the city," she continued," it wasn't wise to make Erica an enemy as you did by taunting her in training, I understand why you did it though, she can be a dirty player as she is not really up to standard, although she has some strengths"

We sat in silence for a few minutes while I finished my pudding and considered whether I wanted to carry on playing for Casnewydd after my less than pleasant introduction to the team. On the other hand I knew that any hopes of playing for the school depended on being registered by a woman's team outside of school. There didn't seem to be any other option but to try and overcome the disastrous beginning.

"I understand the situation and why things happens. I am not happy at all about it though," I said," but assuming I carried on coming to training would I get to play?"

"If you want to continue to train with us I would love to put you in the team. You are the best girl player I have ever seen, of course I completely accept what you say about your legal gender. But the only fly in the ointment would be getting Erica on your side and I'm not sure how you could do that."

I finished my delicious pudding while Jean downed the rest of her wine. I considered how I could possibly befriend someone who clearly hated me already. Then an idea crossed my mind.

"Who's the team captain?" I asked.

"Jenny....Jenny Thomas, although she is off for a few weeks with a pulled hamstring muscle." Jean replied.

"Who's the captain on the pitch then?" I asked pursuing the point.

"I usually chose the player on the day," answered Jean, raising her eyebrows a little at the questions.

"OK I've got an idea, for the next match chose Erica as captain and play her as the centre forward," I said.

"What! she can't play as a striker she is much too slow and she isn't very tall." she responded.

"She can kick the ball pretty hard though," I stated.

"Yes," agreed Jean.

"Then play her up front and I'll create some goals for her," I explained.

Jean looked startled at the idea, but in a few seconds she had worked out my logic.

"Well yes that might be an idea, you certainly have the ability, I saw that earlier. Thanks for the suggestion, let me think about it." she said.

With that we left and made our way to her car. Jean entertained me on the way home with stories of other women's teams she had played for and managed. She also mentioned the prejudice, she had experienced, against women's teams in the male football clubs.

"I don't think they'll ever take us seriously until one of the top football clubs has its first woman player," she concluded as we reached my house.

I bade her farewell and she promised to phone me the next day to discuss my idea further.

"You have some fun, then, at training" said Siá´n, laughing, the next day in the car as he drove Seren and myself to school.

We had decided that it was too much hassle to go out of our way to catch the bus with Seren and now that his Mother was prepared to make a generous contribution for petrol costs the three of us travelled to school together. She had told us that it was well worth it to avoid Seren being bullied.

"It didn't feel like fun at the time," I said in reply to Siá´n's comment. I felt a little bit annoyed with him for not appearing sympathetic.

The rest of the journey passed in silence as Siá´n concentrated on driving in the driving rain and I sat and thought over the events of the previous evening, which I had not told my parents, fearing their reaction.

We were soon in school making our way to our relevant lessons. By lunchtime, after some stimulating academic sessions, the strangeness of my first training session with Casnewydd ladies had receded and by the tenth retelling in the sixth form common room had seemed to belong to another world of bigotry and ignorance that I had forgotten still existed.

I met Seren for lunch, Siá´n joined me and soon two girls from Seren's class, Dionne and Ffion had come along too. Seren had already told us that he had confided his TG nature to them and they had been supportive.

We ate our lunch, the usual uninspired, but filling meal.

"If only Jamie Oliver would chose our school for his next project," I said as I picked at my mostly tasteless Lasagna.

"I dunno," said Siá´n," I don't think we need Jamie Oliver, I think my Mum could do better"

We all agreed with Siá´n.

I heard some whispering and noticed Dionne and Ffion discussing something furiously.

"I can't ask that!" said Dionne a bit louder than she expected.

"What is it?" I asked, " what can't you ask? Don't worry us sixth formers are here to help you, don't be shy"

"Well, sorry to be nosey," said Dionne very hesitantly," and I didn't really remember everything from the assembly, but do you still have a ...you know what, a thingie.....?"

"A thingie?" I asked.

"Yes you know," she said looking suggestively at the top of my legs.

Three things happened in quick succession as realisation hit me like a wet sponge on the face. I burst out laughing, my chair overbalanced and fell to the floor with a clatter, almost taking me with it. I grabbed the table to stop falling, causing everyone's drinks to spill. I gained the instant attention of the whole canteen as everyone stopped talking to look around for the source of the noise.

My loud comment, "You mean my dick?!", echoed embarrassingly around the almost completely silent canteen.

* http://www.welshholidaycottages.com/food/llanerch-vineyard.htm

---

To Be Continued...
 
End of Part 4.12

"Hi, sexy," he said appraising me quickly. "Hi sexy yourself," I responded. "Have fun, bye!" called my Mother as she waved to us. The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.13 - Progress? by Alys

---

Vol. 4.13

I sat at my table looking in the mirror, as I began to apply my makeup. Although it wasn't something that I did very often, since sport and make up don't go together very well. There didn't seem to a lot of point of spending time on perfect make up for it to be spoiled by a splash of mud.

I opened the tube of mascara to complete my eyes, almost nothing left.

"Mum!," I shouted.

There was no reply.

"Muuuuuum!!," I shouted much louder.

"What is it, Celyn?" my Mother replied faintly, obviously busy in the front room office.

"Muuuuuuuuuum!!!!," I shouted as loud as I could.

"What's wrong Celyn?!" my Mother yelled back from the bottom of the stairs," why are you shouting like that?"

"Can I borrow your mascara?!" I yelled, not quite so loudly.

"Yes, but don't use too much, you know how expensive my waterproof one is," she replied.

"Thanks Mum, you're an angel," I said to her as I walked across the landing to my parents room.

"I bet you won't say that when I turf you out of bed on Monday morning for school," she responded, chuckling, before returning to the work she was doing.

I retrieved her tube and sat back down at my table to complete my facial enhancing.

Some minutes later my mobile sang the opening bars of 'God Save the Queen' and vibrated madly. I picked it up and flicked it open while continuing to apply my lip gloss, at the same time wondering about the suitability of a punk anthem as my ring tone.

B thr in 10, b ready!

Siá´n's message was short and to the point!

I redoubled all my efforts to get ready and nine minutes later, after a last spriz of perfume, I was rushing downstairs in anticipation of the arrival of my lover. The mad bouncing of my boobs, due to my speed of descent, made me regret not investing in an appropriate bra for my strapless dress. I reassured myself that there would be no more running around for the rest of the evening.

"Wow, that looks fantastic, Celyn," said my Mother coming out of the front room and seeing me waiting in the hallway, by the front door.

"Thanks Mum, I was trying a new look," I said.

"And succeeding, very sexy indeed........you know, Celyn, sometimes I forget who you were before the change and everything. I see you here, so beautiful and I am proud of what you have achieved, as my new daughter," she commented a little wistfully," but sometimes I miss my son, Celyn"

I gave her a hug.

"Mum, I'm still me, same person just different body," I said.

There was a honk outside as Siá´n drove up to the door.

"Oh, there's Siá´n, you'd better go, have fun my love," my Mother said, opening the door for me and waving at Siá´n, who waved back with a smile.

I made my way to the car.

"Where are you going anyway, this is a bit early to go out isn't it," my Mother called after me.

"To have a meal and then JJ's," I called back to my Mum, before getting into the car and giving Siá´n a light kiss on his lips.

"Hi, sexy," he said appraising me quickly.

"Hi sexy yourself," I responded.

"Have fun, bye!" called my Mother as she waved to us. I waved back until we had turned back on the road and the house was out of sight.

"Have you decided where you want to go?" asked Siá´n as he accelerated to the legal limit of the road.

"Yes, I think that after a week of excitement, for various reasons, it's got to be somewhere hot and spicy," I replied.

"Then it's the Tamarind, I guess?" Siá´n asked.

"Right first time, Albert," I replied.

"Albert?" Siá´n wondered.

"Einstein, of course, you are such a genius for working out where we are going," I said laughing.

"D'oh, Marge, there is only one Indian restaurant in Aberllwyd," Siá´n responded.

"Good job you remember the name then Homer," I countered.

We continued our banter for the next few minutes until we arrived at the restaurant. Even though it was only just after six in the evening the car park was almost full, reflecting the popularity of the place in the locality. We made our way into the restaurant as quickly as possible, joining the small queue there.

After a few minutes we were approached by a well dressed waiter.

"Good evening, a table for two?" he asked politely.

"Yes, please." replied Siá´n.

"We should have one for you in about five minutes, so if you would take these," he said, passing us a copy each of the menu," we will be able to take your order shortly"

We both sat down and studied the mouth watering meals that were on offer.

Suddenly the relaxing background indian muzak was interrupted by the first chords of my punk ring tone. Everyone nearby turned to look as I quickly retrieved my phone and silenced the embarrassing noise.

"Hello," I said.

"Is that Celyn?" came a familiar male voice which I couldn't put a name to.

"Yes," I replied," who's this?"

"It's Mr Jones," the voice replied, but I was still none the wiser.

"Mr Jones?" I said questioningly.

"Yes, it's Mr Jones, your football coach, you know the school you go to, Celyn," he said a little curtly.

I blushed with embarrassment for my stupidity.

"Oh I am sorry, I wasn't thinking about school," I responded trying to explain myself.

"I take it you and Siá´n didn't get the note I sent round this morning during registration?" he asked.

"No sorry we were a little late, Siá´n, needed some more petrol," I explained," what was it about?"

"The tournament," Mr Jones replied.

"Not the five a side tournament?" I asked with a feeling of dread. The coach had arranged a friendly tournament with some schools from Casnewydd. He had got some sponsorship from somewhere and there were going to be good prizes for the winning teams.

"Yes, the very same competition, the one I arranged hoping you can get some game time while we wait for your registration to go through," he said.

The waiter arrived and asked Siá´n and myself what we wanted to eat. I pointed at the things I wanted and Siá´n completed the order.

"What about the tournament, Mr Jones?" I asked.

"It starts in ten minutes!" he stated, to my great surprise.

"TODAY!, Ten minutes!" I responded, almost shouting down the phone.

"So are you coming?" he asked.

"We're on our way, now," I said.

I grabbed Siá´n and after hissing, "It's the five a side, it's tonight!" to him while keeping the phone to my ear, we made our exit quickly out of the restaurant, to the surprise and shock of many of the waiters and the clientele there.

"There is only one problem," I said to Mr Jones, as we sped off," we have a problem, we ..."

"..You have no kit. Why am I not surprised," interrupted Mr Jones, laughing," already taken care of, we have some spares ready"

Eleven minutes later we pulled into the car park next to the school sports' halls, Siá´n having exceeded the speed limit marginally in a number of places on the way. We jumped out of the car and raced into the building, myself some way behind Siá´n.

"You have surpassed yourself, Celyn," laughed Mr Jones, when he saw me.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You know the clothes and the make up, not the usual football attire. Here put these on, the game is staring in thirty seconds and I want you and Siá´n to play," he stated.

I grabbed the top and the shorts and put them on over my dress, no time for anything else. I took the offered socks and trainers and put them on too.

In seconds the fast and furious five a side game had started. Our opponents, Bassaleg school, were larger than us, but we had greater skills than them. However it was they who took the lead after our keeper make an error and dropped the ball in front of one of their players. I was finding it difficult to move around too fast because of the jiggling of my unrestrained boobs.

I looked around for inspiration. I noticed Meryl, Ffion and others in the netball squad on the viewing balcony, above.

"Hey guys, anyone got a bra I can borrow?," I yelled, just as the ball went flying towards me. I put out a foot and diverted towards Bassaleg's net. Somehow the swerve took it past their goalie and we had equalised.

"What size?" shouted Meryl

"thirty six C," I shouted back.

Siá´n and others raced over to congratulate me on my lucky goal.

At the same time Ffion launched her pink frilly spare bra over the balcony and in my general direction.

"Catch!" she shouted.

The throw was a bit lacking in direction and was flying towards the coach of Bassaleg school when it was deftly caught by Mr Jones. He tossed it to me.

"Here, Celyn, this is for you, I think. Shall I ask to stop the game while you go and change?"

"No need now, Mr Jones," I said.

I took the bra and deftly put it on straight away, under my football shirt, without having to take anything off. The game continued and now I was able to run around more comfortably.

An hour later, I was lining up to take the last penalty, in the penalty shoot out of the final match. We had played four matches, we had won three and drawn one. The games had been very competitive and I had been glad of the extra strength I had after the sessions at the gym.

As I waited for the referee to give the signal to take the kick, I looked around me and saw that I was the centre of everyone's attention except for Mr Jones who appeared to be in earnest conversation with an older man, in an expensive suit, who looked vaguely familiar.

The referee blew his whistle. I looked at the waiting goal keeper, made a decision about where I was going to place the shot and then ran up belted the ball with my right foot. The keeper guessed right and made a despairing lunge at the ball, succeeding in touching the ball with a couple of fingers, which only diverted it slightly on its way to bulge the back of the net.

The referee blew his whistle for a goal and then there was a huge roar from the many home pupils who had stayed to watch the games.

Half an hour later, after the celebrations were over, Siá´n and I slowly walked back towards his car, with his arm over my shoulder and mine around his waist.

"That was lots of fun," he said.

"Yes, I really enjoyed it," I responded before turning a little into him and putting my head on his shoulder. I closed my eyes and let him guide me.

Siá´n stopped suddenly

"What the fuck!" he cursed.

I looked up at him and followed his gaze. He was staring at his car, it was looking very different compared with when we had left it, on our arrival at the sports hall.

Someone had sprayed sickening messages in black paint on the front screen.

The passenger side declared 'TRANNY FREAK', while the driver's side said "BATTY BOY"

We stood there completely stunned at the outrage.

There was a low groan from the far side of the car. We rushed around to see Seren lying on the floor, holding his stomach and moaning in pain. His face was bruised and a thin trickle of blood was oozing out of his nose.

"Seren," I said as I lowered myself to hold his hand," what happened to you?"

"I'm sorry Celyn, I tried to stop them....I tried to stop them," he whimpered in reply.

---

To Be Concluded Volume 4.16...
 
End of Vol. 4.13

I moved closer to him, as we stood in a corridor that was temporarily deserted. "Do you think it deserves a celebratory kiss," I whispered. "Why not, I don't see any referees around to book us," he whispered back. The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.14 - Education by Alys

---

"I'm telling you again, you're not kicking my Luke out of your school!" shouted Mr James at Mrs Williams the headteacher.

I was sitting outside her office waiting to see her after she had asked me to stay behind after morning assembly, unfortunately the father of one the thugs had stormed into the school and insisted on seeing her immediately. The meeting had been going on for almost ten minutes and had been getting louder and louder so that by now every word was clear through the office door."

"I have already explained to you, Mr James," responded Mrs Williams politely but forcefully, " that you may chose to exercise your right, under the education act of 2003, to appeal against the school's actions to the local education authority. However I must warn you that you are highly unlikely to be successful, due to the nature of the injuries sustained by his victim"

"And I'm telling you again, 'e wasn't there, 'e was 'ome with me, all night," responded the thug's Dad.

"Fortunately for us and equally unfortunately for Luke," stated Mrs Williams," the victim identified your son and his accomplice, Barry, before he became unconscious"

"It's just 'is word against my Luke's and anyway who would take a fairy like 'im seriously," said Mr James aggressively," so in that case you'd better let 'im back"

Mrs Williams tried to stay calm, I was getting worried that the thug's Dad might even assault her.

"Miss Thomas, maybe it's a good idea to get the Head of Games down with some others, in case he gets nasty," I suggested to Nyree Thomas, the headteacher's secretary.

She picked up the phone and spoke softly into it.

I turned my attention back to the heated meeting in Mrs Williams's office.

"...........and all of those children saw Luke and Barry running away from the scene about the time of the attack," she stated firmly.

"They are all a bunch of liars, must be friends of the pansy," the thug's Dad responded offensively.

"Mr James, I must say I take great offence at the pejorative way you constantly refer to poor Seren, I would ask you to consider that this is a child of only 11 and who knows what his sexuality and gender identity will be when he is an adult," said Mrs Williams, sounding angrier by the second," but to return to the matter in hand, even if it was only a question of the word of some children against others your son would be suspended while investigations were made. However there is one other factor"

"What!?" asked Mr James.

"The other factor is that there is clear, incontestable evidence of your son's involvement in the assault," explained Mrs Williams, with a steely tone in her voice," the CCTV cameras in that part of the school recorded the whole incident"

There was silence for a few seconds and then the door to the headteacher's room opened and Mrs Williams walked out and stood in the main office.

"I think it would be sensible if you went home now Mr James and talk with your son about this and ensure that he has legal representation. I feel that there is nothing further for us to discuss at the moment." she said, gesturing for the odious parent to leave her office.

Mr James, a big, fleshy man in his late forties, slowly walked into the main office and, a little menacingly, moved close to where Mrs Williams stood, towering over her.

"If you think you have heard the last of this, you weirdo lover, you are mistaken," he said slowly and deliberately, staring directly into the headteacher's eyes.

Mrs Williams wiped away a little of the parent's spittle, that had landed on her cheek. A flicker of fear showed itself in her eyes as the realisation of her potential physical danger crossed her mind.

"Is there a problem here, Mrs Williams?" asked the booming voice of Mr Jones, the head of games, who had walked into the office at a very opportune moment.

"Everything is fine, Mr Jones," replied Mrs Williams, calmly," Mr James is just leaving, perhaps you would be so kind as to show him the way out"

She quickly moved away from the unpleasant father while Mr Jones stepped in front of her.

"This way Mr James," said the head of games, gesturing to the way out.

The aggressive visitor took one look at the six foot four inch frame of the ex-rugby international player standing next to him and then, with a last unpleasant look at Mrs Williams, walked out of the building.

Mrs Williams sat down in a chair in the main office, looking drained by the whole experience. Every one of her fifty two years suddenly seeming etched deeply in her face.

"Is everything alright Mrs Williams," I asked.

She regained her composure, smiled at me and stood up.

"It's fine now, thank you Jonathan for being here, it was a fortunate coincidence that you happened to walk in, he was getting very threatening" she said to Mr Jones.

"Always glad to help, Serena, but it wasn't a coincidence, Nyree phoned me and asked me to pop in, just in case"

Mrs Williams turned to her secretary and smiled.

"Thanks are in order to you also Nyree, your quick action averted what might have been a difficult situation," she said.

"Thank you, Mrs Williams," Nyree replied," but you should really thank Celyn too, it was her idea that I phone Mr Jones"

"In that case, Celyn, I am very grateful to you for your concern and your quick thinking," she said smiling," if you'd like to come into my office now we can have the discussion that was unfortunately delayed, oh and Nyree I wonder if you could rustle up some tea and maybe a few of that special pack of biscuits"

"Of course," replied the secretary.

"Celyn," interjected Mr Jones," can you call into to see me for a few minutes after you have seen Mrs Williams"

I nodded my assent and then followed Mrs Williams into her office. It was becoming rather a familiar place. She began by asking me about the assault and about Seren. I explained to her what I had seen and how much pain he had been in before the paramedic arrived. I told her about him trying to stop the thugs from vandalising Siá´n's car. We were interrupted by the arrival of Nyree with the tea and biscuits.

"He is a very brave child," Mrs Williams commented, after she had taken a sip of her tea.

"Yes, he is," I responded.

"But all this bigotry and antagonism, it frightens me, Celyn, I wish I knew of some way of stopping it, of making people aware of every person's uniqueness and value" she said.

There was a quiet between us as we drank our tea and ate out biscuits.

"Mrs Williams, I might have an idea," I said.

"Yes, Celyn, please tell me," Mrs Williams said.

"I have a friend in London and well she...." I hesitated.

"Yes," prompted Mrs Williams,

"Well, the thing is, she's a lesbian," I blurted out.

"Yes, well that is interesting, Celyn, but how does that help us here?" asked Mrs Williams.

"She told me, she sent me an email, a couple of weeks ago, they had an LGBT day in her school," I replied," and it really changed the atmosphere there, she even came out to her parents after and they're Indian but....."

"LGBT, what is that?" asked the headteacher.

"Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Mrs Williams, the idea is to have a day of awareness," I replied.

"That sounds interesting, Celyn, tell me more" she said, smiling.

I explained the idea as Amarjit had described it in her school, including speeches from LGBT people in public life, workshops on prejudice and bigotry, the history of LGBT. Mrs Williams seemed very keen on the concept and after thinking of who might be appropriate to come to address the school, she promised to make some enquiries. She asked me to get a list of the sixth form who would be prepared to help and then it was time for me to leave and see Mr Jones.

"Sit down, Celyn," said the head of games as he invited me into his small office in the sports hall.

"I'm not sure if you noticed me talking to a man in a suit on Friday?" he asked.

"Um, yes I think I did," I replied.

"Well his name is Mr Jenkins and he is a scout for one of the major football teams in the premiership," he explained.

"Man United," I said.

"That's right, how did you know?" he asked.

"I met him once, a couple of years ago," I replied.

"Oh, I see," Mr Jones said. He hesitated as if he was about to ask me more and then obviously decided that his news was more important.

"Celyn, Mr Jenkins has made a very generous offer to the school, he has offered to give us a substantial donation in return for us organising a rematch with Ysgol Casnewydd ,"

"Will they play us again, sir?" I asked

"They will when I tell them what venue Mr Jenkins has arranged, the Millennium Stadium, as a warm up before the Welsh FA Cup Final!" he replied, excitedly.

"Would I be in the team, sir?" I asked, thinking about the regulations that still prevented me playing in regular games.

"Of course," Mr Jones replied, "it's only a friendly match and it might even help your case if some of the bigwigs in the Welsh FA saw you playing"

"It's sounds great, sir," I said, joining in the feeling of excitement.

"Now, you better get off to your lessons, can you tell anyone in the squad that you see about a special meeting after school tonight to organise extra training," he said before opening the door for me to leave.

I was oblivious to the hustle and bustle of the school as I walked along the main corridor as the bell went for the change of lessons. I turned the corridor to see Siá´n coming out of the Maths classroom. I ran up to him and threw my arms around him.

"Oh Siá´n, I've got amazing news" I said to my lover.

"What is it sweetie?" he asked as we walked hand in hand to our next lesson.

"We're both going to be playing at the Millennium Stadium," I explained.

"Wow, how come?" he asked.

I repeated what Mr Jones had said to me. Siá´n, stopped and looked at me.

"That is fantastic news," he said looking excited at the prospect.

I moved closer to him, as we stood in a corridor that was temporarily deserted.

"Do you think it deserves a celebratory kiss," I whispered.

"Why not, I don't see any referees around to book us," he whispered back.

We embraced and our lips met, I lost all awareness of the surroundings as our bodies met and we expressed our passion for each other.

"Do you think we'll do that in the sixth form?" asked a familiar voice.

"Yuck, it's gross," replied another voice that I recognised.

There was a little ripple of laughter.

I looked over Siá´n's shoulder to see Dionne and Ffion, Seren's friends, and the rest of their class of year sevens, enjoying the entertainment.

---

To Be Concluded Volume 4.16...
 
End of Vol. 4.14

"I can't walk into the Millennium stadium changing room like this, Mum," I protested. "Why not, you are a beautiful girl, and you look fantastic in that dress, why do you want to conceal that, aren't you sick of hiding yourself as you used to have to do? "Haf," said my Father quietly to my Mother," one problem, it's a boy's team and I'm sure Celyn wants to play down the beautiful and girl bit". The Price to Pay - Vol. 4.15 - Scoring? by Alys

---

Vol. 4.15
 

Sion and I sat in the car in the deserted parking area, next to the derelict pub, watching the moonlight on Má´r Hafren*

"It's beautiful here," I said

"Yes," responded Siá´n, a little distantly.

He had been quite quiet most of the evening, before and after going to see Michael Moore's latest, Sicko.

I lent over the gap between the seats and kissed him, he responded and soon I was sitting astride my lover, in the driver's seat, as we caressed and excited each other.

"Where can we go, Siá´n?" I asked after coming up for air, but continuing to move my hand over his chest.

"You know my parents are home," he replied, as he caressed my breast gently.

"Yes, I wish there was somewhere else..............I know shall I ring my Mum?" I suggested.

"You know she'll say no," said Siá´n, putting a bit of a damper on my idea.

"You never know," I said hopefully.

I sat back in my seat and took out my phone and pressed fast dial one.

"Hello, Celyn, what's up?"

"Hi Mum, how are you?"

"I'm fine, what's the problem?"

"Well,nothing really, can I ask you if something is alright"

"Depends on what it is, dear"

"Mum can I bring Siá´n home?"

"Celyn you know you never need to ask that......but if you mean to spend the night, I'm sorry you know where your Father and I stand on that"

"Pleassssssse Mum, just this once"

"We've told you before that sixteen is too young to have a boyfriend staying over, and young lady you are due home in less than an hour remember you have an important game tomorrow and we have to go the dressmakers too"

With that final, slightly irritable, comment she hung up.

"Damn!" I exclaimed, cursing my Mother's intransigence and my distant aunt who wanted me to be a bridesmaid at her eldest daughter's wedding.

"I told you, she wouldn't agree," said Siá´n.

"Yes, but I don't understand it, they know we have sex but they just won't let us have use of a nice comfortable room" I said in an irritated tone.

"I think it's more for their own mental health," Siá´n responded," oh well there is always the back seat"

"Mmmm, yes, but one problem," I said.

"What's that?"

"I haven't got any lube with me," I explained.

"Oh," said Siá´n, sounding disappointed.

"But there is no need for it for this," I said suggestively as I leaned over and unzipped Siá´n.

Some minutes later I was sucking a peppermint to take away some of the slightly unpleasant taste of Siá´n's cum, while repairing my pink lipstick.

"Thanks, my love," said Siá´n, quietly, as he recovered from his post orgasmic lassitude.

"It was my pleasure, my love," I responded, before leaning over and giving my beloved a gentle kiss on the lips," I guess it's time to head home if I am to make my curfew"

An hour later I lay on my bed, feeling a little frustrated at having missed out on being intimate with Siá´n. I played with my boobs and my clit, finally I took out my vibrator, setting it for quiet mode, and brought myself to a climax filled with visions of my boyfriend.

The grinding noise of my sash window being rapidly opened was followed by the shock of a cold autumn breeze on my naked body as my duvet was pulled off my bed.

I opened my eyes to see my Mother standing over me, holding my dressing gown. I reached out to try and grab the duvet back from her. She evaded my uncoordinated efforts easily and smiled back.

"Here put this on," she said, handing me the pink insult to morning clothing," and get in the shower now, we have to leave in half an hour"

I wrapped the thick towelling garment around me, trying to warm up my rapidly chilling body, and scowled at my tormentor as she turned and left my room.

"Oh Celyn, one more thing," she said

"What?" I said abruptly, thinking black, evil thoughts of revenge at a parent who could so cruelly deprive her daughter of her beauty sleep. I listed my top ten methods and rapidly decided on chocolate deprivation as a way of paying her back.

"Wear your new your new bra and pantie set with your new dress," she instructed.

I grunted a vague assent, deciding that being forced to wear pink frilly underwear could only mean a doubling of the period of my Mother's chocolate denial.

"And make up!" she shouted as she made her way down the stairs, forcing me to again increase her potential loss of chocolate.

Over an hour and a half later we were clambering aboard the bus to take us from the 'Park and Ride' car park into the centre of Caerdydd***. My Father paid the flat fare and then we sat down on the narrow bench seats. I hoped that we wouldn't have to do too much walking since my figure hugging ruched dress was a little restrictive, while the three inch heels I was wearing weren't conducive to rapid movement either.

"Oh Mum, why do I have to wear this dress and these shoes?" I whined.

"I told you before, we are going to get you a bridesmaid's dress, you need to look the part and also......." she replied.

"...it's a John Galliano" I said, completing my Mother's comment.

"Exactly, you don't often get a chance of wearing something by such a stylish designer"

"I can't walk into the Millennium stadium changing room like this, Mum," I protested.

"Why not, you are a beautiful girl, and you look fantastic in that dress, why do you want to conceal that, aren't you sick of hiding yourself as you used to have to do?

"Haf," said my Father quietly to my Mother," one problem, it's a boy's team and I'm sure Celyn wants to play down the beautiful and girl bit"

"Oh, yes, I hadn't thought of that, well I guess you can change into your tracksuit before we get there"

My feet were absolutely killing me by the time we reached our destination. It had taken us almost half an hour from the bus stop, since the 'Loving Bride' dress shop was in an exclusive arcade quite a distance from the main shopping streets.

My Mother swept into the shrine to marriage, my Father and I trailing in her wake, and approached the smart, impeccably made up woman in her mid thirties at the reception, whose name tag read Juliet.

"Good morning," said Juliet," how can I help you today?"

"Good morning," replied my Mother," it's my daughter, we have an appointment to fit her for a bridesmaids dress, it's Celyn Morus"

"Yes, let me see," said Juliet consulting her computer," the ten o'clock appointment, you'll be with Grace today"

An attractive woman, in her early twenties came over and was introduced to us.

"Can you tell me what style you are looking for," asked Grace to my Mother, after we had moved over to sit in an alcove on a group of armchairs.

My Mother consulted the print out of the email she had received from Auntie Jane.

"Let me see, yes, the style they have chosen is the Portia, the maxi dress, in pink and white."

"That's fine, I'm sure we have one, that will fit your daughter, in stock," responded our outfitter, "if you would come with me, Celyn, I'll take your measurements"

I followed her into a large changing cubicle. She unzipped me and helped me wriggle out of my clingy dress.

"I guess you must be about a size ten, Celyn?" she asked.

"I think so," I replied.

"You don't know?" she questioned.

"I'm not completely sure, my Mum buys most of my dresses, I just wear them, it's not really my thing," I explained.

"Oh, you surprise me, someone so attractive as you, OK if you can turn towards me, I'll measure you," Grace said.

I turned round and stood there a little self consciously in my pink frilly undies. She stared at me in surprise, her mouth opened but no speech came out.

"What is it?" I asked, wondering what imperfection she had noticed on my body, could she see somehow that I used to be a boy?

"I..I've never seen a girl with a six pack before," she explained pointing at my abdominal muscles.

"Oh that," I laughed," I work out regularly and do a lot of sport, I need to be as strong as possible"

"Why is that?" she asked, recovering from her astonishment at the shape of my tummy and beginning her measuring.

"I play football in a boys' team," I explained.

"Oh, I see," responded Grace, without much interest.

Almost two hours later, I was utterly fed up of all the changing into and out of the flouncy pink maxi dress that I dreaded having to wear in a couple of months. Even the staff in the shop were getting irritated by my Mother's refusal to accept that the latest minute change, that she had demanded, had made little if no difference to how the dress looked.

I stood by the changing room, waiting for the request to change again. I looked at my watch, there was only an hour and three quarters to the kick off, I was hoping we could leave soon.

I heard the crashing chords of "...God Save the Queen, It's a fascist regime...", I grabbed for my bag and took out my phone as quickly as possible to silence the extremely embarrassing ring-tone, wondering why I had forgotten to change it.

"Hi, Siá´n" I said," how are you?"

"Where are you? Do you know what time it is," he asked sounding irritated.

"I'm in the dressmakers and it's twenty past twelve, why?"

"The match kicks off in half an hour!" Siá´n stated.

"I thought it was two?" I said, beginning to panic.

"Mr Jones told us on Thursday after the last training session, don't you remember?" he asked a little angrily.

"I wasn't in the training session on Thursday, Siá´n, I was playing for Casnewydd Ladies, don't YOU remember?" I asked a little tetchily.

"Oh, yes, sorry, but I did tell you yesterday, I'm pretty sure," he responded, sounding a little chastened.

"Oh yes, I remember now, just before we picked up Seren, in the morning, I must have been distracted about taking him back to school after the assault," I responded.

"Whatever, it doesn't matter, can you make it?" he asked.

"I'll do my best, see you soon" I replied, before making my way over to where my Mother was discussing another list of alterations. I grabbed her arm.

"Mum, we've got to go now! The match starts in less than half an hour," I said urgently," Dad can you get a taxi?"

"What match is this?" asked Juliet.

"Oh my daughter is playing in some football game in the stadium this afternoon," she responded casually," now about these alterations"

"Mum!!, we have to go now!" I said, raising my voice.

"Now calm down Celyn, I need a few more minutes to finalise these changes and then you'll have to change" she replied.

"Mum! I'm going now!" I said getting angry at her nonchalance.

"You can't go like that,in your bridesmaid's dress" she said.

"Watch me!" I said, as I picked up my bag and walked out of the door to where my Dad had managed to flag down a taxi.

My Mum ran after me, shouting back to the shop staff that she would do the rest of the discussion on the phone.

Twenty minutes our taxi deposited us at the entrance to the stadium, after having to crawl through the almost grid locked Saturday traffic. I ran, as fast as a bridesmaid's maxi dress and heels would allow me, toward the changing rooms, while my parents made their way to the seating area.

"Hey you!," shouted an authoritative voice," where are you going?"

I turned to see a big, bulky security man walking towards me as I hesitated at the entrance to the corridor labeled 'Teams Only'.

"To the Cwm Wysg changing room," I replied.

I looked at the short haired man in his late forties and decided that the story of a girl, in a bridesmaid dress, who was a member of a boy's football team would not sound very plausible. I wracked my brains for an alternative excuse.

"Sorry, sir," I said politely," but I have to get my brother's kit to him, he left it in the car and we only noticed it when we got to the wedding and I have to get back there in twenty minutes and this is the only pair of special boots that he can wear for his foot deformity........"

"OK, OK, come on,I'll come with you, we'll be quicker if you let me carry the bag"

The 'click clack' of my heels, on the hard floor, echoed along the corridor as we hurried towards our destination.

"Hello sir," said Mike, the security guard, to Mr Jones as we entered the changing room," this young lady has brought her brother's kit for the game, is that OK?"

"Celyn! At last!" Mr Jones exclaimed," I think you might have got the wrong end of the stick, or been mislead, this young lady is a member of the team and this no doubt is her kit bag"

"Sorry, Mike, for misleading you, would you have believed the truth?" I said apologetically to the security guard.

"No, I guess not," he smiled wryly," good luck in the game anyway"

The security guard left and Mr Jones turned towards me.

"Celyn, I wonder if you take this team seriously. You never fail to astonish me, you know that this is an important game but again you turn up late, and now in a wedding dress!" he said with irritation.

"It's a bridesmaids dress, sir" I corrected timidly.

"Celyn, it's a game of football not a wedding," yelled Elfed, my former nemesis, but now a good friend.

There was a ripple of laughter

I poked my tongue out at him, "tell my Mum about that," I replied.

"OK boys let's go out and have a quick warm up on the pitch," directed Mr Jones.

The boys stood and the studs on their boots clattered on the floor as they shuffled out.

"Celyn you've got ten minutes, if you're not on the pitch then you are on the bench for the first half," said the coach as he went to follow the rest of the team.

"Mr Jones?", I said.

"Yes, what is it?" he asked, pausing to look around again.

"Can you unzip me?" I asked as I turned my back towards him.

Mr Jones looked at me with a mixture of surprise and apprehension, he then quickly looked along the corridor to see if the team was now out of sight.

"Celyn, I'm not sure, this is difficult, you being a girl and me being a male teacher. It's risky for me," he said.

"Why is that?" I asked in surprise.

"Celyn, unfortunately there are girls, and even some boys, who make false accusations of inappropriate contact by teachers. One of my friends, a great guy, lost his job like that," he explained.

"Sir, you've known me for five years, have you ever seen any sign that I would do that," I countered.

"Yes, Celyn, but for nearly all that time you were officially, well at least in school, a boy," he argued.

"Sir, if you don't unzip me I won't be able to play," I stated.

"Oh, I see," he said.

He stood for a few seconds,obviously weighing up the risks of unzipping my dress against the benefits of me playing. Suddenly he moved forward and quickly unzipped my bridesmaid's dress a little way down.

"That's all I'm prepared to do, Celyn, I hope you can finish it from there, I'll see you on the pitch in," he looked at his watch," eight minutes from now"

Mr Jones exited the room, closing the door after him. I listened to the noise of his steady trot fade away as I began changing.

Just over five minutes later I was trotting down the corridor towards the pitch. I marvelled at the way my new 'Shock Absorber' sports bra both flattened me considerably and also greatly reduced the bounce of my breasts as I ran. I was congratulating myself on having not too girly a look, with my slightly outsize kit, until I turned into the last corridor and noticed my well made up face in the mirror.

"Damn," I cursed.

"......at number ten, Elfed Williams," came the voice of the stadium tannoy, as I ran down the passage leading onto the pitch.

"and finally at number eleven, the holder of twenty caps at Wales under sixteen and under fourteen levels, Celyn Morus, who seems to be playing 'left back off the pitch'"

There was a ripple of laughter and groans at the very old football joke from the fairly sparse crowd in the stadium.

"No, in fact here he comes, the number eleven..." the tannoy continued," oh I must apologise to the young lady coming on the field at number eleven whose name is..."

There was the sound of papers being rustled and some whispering from the loudspeakers.

"In fact the Cwm Wysg player wearing number eleven is in fact Celyn Morus"

As I ran out, I spotted some of the Casnewydd ladies team sitting near the front.

"Celyn! Celyn!," they shouted, waving widely at me.

I waved back, smiling.

My little plan for Casnewydd Ladies had worked a treat, I had played 3 games and in each game I had created at least one goal for Erica. By now she was appreciative of my efforts and had changed her attitude towards me completely.

The game started, for the first twenty minutes the Ysgol Casnewydd team, with their superior strength and size, were all over us. It was a real struggle to keep them out. It took some desperate defending, every player back in our own half, some great saves from Aled our goalkeeper and two goal line clearances to keep the score at nil-nil.

Having weathered the early storm we began to get some passes forward, but in my role as lone striker, with at least two of their players marking me whenever I was near their goal, it was hard to be any threat.

We were all relieved when the whistle went for half time and we still hadn't conceded a goal. As we sat in the changing room taking some refreshments, the coach relayed his instructions for more of the same, while I removed the mixture of mud, dirt and make up from my face.

The second half began with the Ysgol Casnewydd team once again putting immense pressure on our goal. In the end we succumbed to the inevitable as their almost six foot tall centre back met the third successive corner with a well directed header into the top corner of the net, leaving our goalkeeper with no chance.

Everyone looked despondent as we lined up for the restart. I knew that our best chance of getting an equaliser was while our opponents were still feeling excited about their own goal and would have dropped their concentration levels a little. I walked over to where Siá´n was standing ready to kick the ball. I whispered to him, he nodded and called Elfed to take the first kick in his place.

I received Siá´n's expert pass halfway in the Casnewydd half where I had sprinted as soon as the whistle had gone. I touched the ball towards the corner flag and noticed my two markers coming towards me. I suddenly changed direction and made a diagonal run between the two of them, another defender raced from the opposite side towards me, while the goalkeeper took up a position at the near side of his goal to prevent a possible shot. Just as the defender was about to lunge for the ball I chipped the ball over his head to the far side of the goal where Siá´n was waiting to gently head the ball into the empty net.

There was a huge cheer from our supporters and many of the thousands who had now arrived in the stadium for the Cup final later on. I ran up to Siá´n, we high fived and he was then enveloped with the rest of our players.

"Great pass, Celyn," said Siá´n.

"Great pass yourself," I replied as we ran back to restart the game.

The game resumed and for a while Ysgol Casnewydd were a bit more circumspect about their play, leaving a few players back in case we managed a counter attack. I now had three players watching my every move, two nearby and one as a back up and was unable to do anything. There were ten minutes to go when their coach brought on two fresh attackers to replace two of their players who were obviously tiring.

We were soon defending desperately, again, as they tried to get revenge for the unexpected defeat we had inflicted on them a couple of months earlier.

There were a few minutes left and nearly all their players were in attacking positions. I intercepted a pass facing my own goal and suddenly had an idea, considering that we were in the home of Welsh Rugby, I flicked the ball up and kicked it high over my head, in true Rugby 'Up and Under' fashion, turned and ran as fast as I could after the ball.

I had run five metres before any of the Ysgol Casnewydd team reacted to the potential danger and had turned and started running after me. As the ball dropped the last Casnewydd defender was lining up for a defensive header, I timed my jump and managed to get my head to the ball before him. I nudged it over his head, and as I landed past him ran after the ball, I then poked the ball past the onrushing goalkeeper, evaded his despairing dive at my feet and with my right foot hammered the ball into the empty net.

There was a huge roar from the forty thousand who were in the stadium ready for the cup final in three quarters of an hour.

I was surrounded by the rest of the team.

"Wow, fantastic," said Elfed, embracing me.

"Brilliant, Celyn," said Aled, as he put his arm around my shoulder.

Others embraced and hugged me, strangely the last to come over was Siá´n, who simply high fived and congratulated me. I briefly wondered at his reticence, before the game restarted and we tried to hang onto our lead for the last few minutes.

"One minute left", said the referee to Siá´n.

Suddenly with a crisp one-two the Casnewydd centre forward had made his way past our last defender with only the goalie to beat. He slipped the ball past Aled whose arm was a fraction too late and he succeeded in only bringing down the blond haired striker as the ball continued gently until it bobbled out of play.

The referee shouted penalty and pointed at the spot, he then marched up to Aled,

"Sorry son I have to send you off for that," he said as he brandished his red card high in the air.

Aled stood up and walked over to Sion, "who's in goal now?" he asked, taking his gloves off.

We all looked over to the coach. Mr Jones signalled number 3, the largest of our players, to be in goal for the penalty.

I ran up to Sion.

"Sion, let me be in goal," I pleaded.

"But John's at least 6 inches taller than you, Celyn," Siá´n replied.

"Please Siá´n, I know what he's going to do with the kick," I explained

I had watched the Ysgol Casnewydd centre forward doing a few practice penalties, before the start of the second half and I was sure I could read him.

"OK, you have as good a chance as anyone, I guess," he responded," Aled give Celyn your gloves"

Aled looked surprised at Siá´n but did as he was told.

As I took up my position in goal, the referee along with all the other players on the pitch looked at me in surprise.

"Captain, are you sure you want her in goal?" the referee asked Siá´n.

"Sure," he replied.

The referee shrugged his shoulders and blew his whistle for the Casnewydd centre forward to take the kick. I watched as he eyed me up before deciding what to do. I figured that if I guessed the direction I would have a good chance of getting the ball since I was sure seeing a five foot seven girl instead of a six foot tall boy in goal would make him over confident.

He ran towards the ball, I watched his eyes as they flickered from looking at the ball to looking at the net. As he kicked I threw myself to my right, the direction his eyes had had before he kicked. For a split second it looked like my successful guess would be in vain as the ball, almost in slow motion seemed to be moving out of my grasp, I made one last effort to stretch for it and managed to flick at it, with my right hand. As I landed on the floor with a crunch, that shook my body, I saw the ball, in it's diverted flight, shave the outside of the post before flying out of play.

The referee blew the whistle for the end of the game, and then there was a wall of sound around the stadium. It was amazing to hear all the cheers.

I stood up and once again was surrounded by my team, congratulating me, again I noticed that Siá´n was reluctant to come over and embrace me.

"That was some save, young lady," said the referee as he come over to shake my hand," well done."

A number of the Casnewydd players came over to sportingly congratulate me.

We all slowly made our way off the pitch, soaking up the applause. As we were walking down the passage way I felt a touch on my shoulder, I turned round to see Mr Jenkins standing next to our coach.

"Celyn, would you come with me, there is someone who would like to meet you and Mr Jones," he said.

I followed the two of them down into a small office, which lead into a luxury box, that faced the pitch. A man of medium height rose from his seat over looking the pitch and turned and walked towards me. It was Sir Alex Ferguson, the manager of Manchester United!

He came over and shook my hand.

"Well done, lass, that was some save and your goal was unbelievable," he said.

"Thank you Sir Alex," I responded.

He then congratulated Mr Jones on the success of our team and handed him the winner's cheque. He then asked me if I would like to play for him. I agreed of course. He told me he would be sending a letter to the Welsh FA supporting my registration application and would be putting his lawyers to see if there was a way I could some day play professional football. He wished me luck and told me he would following my progress through Mr Jenkins's reports.

I followed Mr Jones to the changing room, still not believing the last few minutes. A dream that I had had two years ago, only for it to be cruelly snatched away, looked like it might be coming true almost miraculously.

I saw Siá´n's bag at the end of the corridor, I was so excited to tell him my news, I ran ahead of Mr Jones.

I turned and stopped in my tracks.

I felt as if I had been kicked in the stomach by a horse.

Siá´n and Meryl were locked in a close embrace.

*Má´r Hafren* = Severn Sea, River Severn Estuary, expanse of water between South Wales and South West England, also known in England as the Bristol Channel.

**size 10 in the UK is roughly size 6 in the USA
Caerdydd*** = Cardiff, capital city of Wales

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To Be Concluded next chapter...
 
End of Vol. 4.15