“Don’t you find this world boring? The people live their brief lives searching for something that cannot be found. The limitations of being a part of reality are countless and unbreakable. If life were a dream, a fantasy where the laws of reality were just guidelines, I would enjoy that.” I said as we walked to class.
“Always a dreamer, you know you would have graduated by now if you would work on something else. Why don’t you help me finish my thesis and we can graduate together next month?” Chris asked.
“Just don’t get jealous when I walk the stage before you.”
“Only because of your name.” he yelled back as we went our separate ways.

I had gotten my Masters from Harvard at the age of 20, but I had failed to win my final defense last semester. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a sufficient understanding of my research; it was that I had failed to prove how my research agreed with the accepted laws of physics. I had argued that my research was like several great discoveries that simply discarded previous knowledge to introduce new, more accurate information. However, only two of the five professors agreed that my argument was sufficient. Since then I had developed even more mathematical proofs demonstrating why my magick was possible and surmised methods to create such a device. Technically it wasn’t magick but a method of interacting with prana, which is capable of distorting the behavior of matter.

As the weeks leading up to my final defense approached I could only further strengthen my case and help my faculty advisor with his research. “I’m so glad you’re here Alexander, I need a sharp mind to help me with this problem.” said Dr. Black.
It was a simple problem, but I was regarded by those who knew me as one of the best mathematicians. After around forty minutes I had finished the equation to discover it was a proof arguing against my thesis.
“Why did you have me solve this?” I asked.
“Because I couldn’t, I believed the equation was unsolvable. I would have shared it with you sooner but I wanted to attempt the equation from all angles first.” said Dr. Black.
“Still to have me ‘disprove’ my own work is an insult.”
“I agree, but I never imagined you would be able to solve it, I thought you could add it to your defense when you decided it was unsolvable.”
“Now what?” I asked while growing anxious.
“I will review it to make sure it’s accurate, but if it is I am obligated to use it at your defense.”

I stormed out of the room throwing the marker on the ground. All the way back to my room I was disgusted, I had just solved an equation that would keep me from getting my doctorate again. For the next three weeks I worked countless hours trying to find something to counter the equation. I knew that my theories were correct, but I no longer held sufficient evidence to win my defense. During this time I hardly ever left my study, which caused me to get fired from my job and even Dr. Black grew upset with me since I quit showing up for our bi-weekly meetings. The final defense went as expected; I presented a strong argument for my case and answered all of the professors’ questions brilliantly until Dr. Black presented his counter-argument, to which I had little.

It was three days before I heard from the graduate dean; I received a letter that read “We regret to inform you…” the same crap I heard last time, but since this was my second failure I would have to terminate my doctoral studies. I was weeping with anger as I threw the letter in the fire. I began to pack my things so I could leave this place of devastating memories.
 

To Mr. Alexander Lasry,

Dean Woods

Fear overtook me as the sirens grew louder. Within seconds I could see the National Guard and SWAT vehicles come into view. “Forget the bags and get on the jet!” I screamed, dropping everything and racing towards the stairs. If they catch me everything would be lost; they would either have me make weapons or kill me. I had to flee before that happened; I had to take the ten steps to freedom…

It had been three years since I broke reality. During those three years the world experienced a rate of change that eclipsed the technological era completely.

It was a time when the expected lifespan rose to 150 due to the changes in medicine. No longer were doctors attempting to cure the flesh, we could actually heal the life-force of an individual. The world’s energy shortage was coming to a close since fuel sources were being used with 100% efficiency. It was the era of magick, and it was my doing.

Despite that, the world had never been darker. Nations across the world were terrified of a power that seemed to have no limits. The weapons had never been more efficient; an entire city could be destroyed in seconds, and unlike the bombs before it, it could be fired again. World War III had begun and everyone felt its effects. It was the era of death, and it was my doing.

The war began by accident when a couple bought their first magic sphere. They were on vacation in Osaka Japan when they tried to use it to heat their room. Typically it would have acted as an efficient heater, exciting the air molecules and generating heat. However, it overreacted melting five blocks, including the Osaka government building and two embassies. On 12 January 2020, ten days after the Osaka meltdown, diplomacy failed and war was declared.

Within months the death count was over 20 million. However, the true horror didn’t begin until June. A Rosenberg Sphere was converted into a weapon allowing prana to be harnessed in a truly terrifying way. The first time the world had seen a magical weapon was in the South China Sea. A naval conflict between the British and the Chinese began normally; jets battled for air supremacy while submarines and destroyers fought on the surface. The British quickly proved dominant, destroying an aircraft carrier and several submarines. Sensing defeat, a Chinese destroyer fired a weaponized Rosenberg Sphere. The bright blue beam obliterated the entire British fleet and the nearby islands.

Nations across the world began trying to create their own Rosenberg Spheres and weaponizing the 10,000 I had already made. Fortunately, no one was able to create their own; they could only modify the ones I had already made. That’s why I was the most wanted man in the world; rather I was wanted as a scientist or a war criminal every nation was after me.

I shut the door behind me after I had climbed the ten steps. The jet had already begun accelerating on the runway as I took my seat. “Sir, they are blockading the runway; we won’t make it.” said the pilot.
“But we have to, don’t stop.”
The jet accelerated as fast as possible while the National Guard drove towards us and SWAT blockaded the runway. By the time we were travelling fast enough for rotation they were just yards away. The pilot pulled back on the stick as the plane began to lift; the blockade proved to be just far enough away as our back wheel scraped the top of the SWAT truck. Despite the victory, the pressure wasn’t gone as I began to wonder if they would shoot us out of the sky.

I didn’t have to wait long for an answer though. My pilot requested I come to the cockpit to deal with a situation. I wondered if the landing gear got damaged during takeoff, but when he told me to put on a headset I knew what the situation was. “Return your aircraft to the runway.” the fighter pilot said.
“I will stall them; you need to get us to 18,000 feet.” I said while covering the mic. “We would love to return to the runway but our landing gear got damaged during takeoff.” It took nearly two minutes for him to respond.
“Land your aircraft or we will engage.”
“And how should we land the jet?” I asked, hoping the question would buy us enough time.
“This is your final warning, land now.”

We were only at 15,000 feet which wasn’t high enough, but it would have to work. I took the co-pilots seat, turned off the radio, and cut the transponder. “Don’t touch the stick or we will die.” I told the pilot. I put the jet in a hard nosedive, praying it would work out. The fighter pilots were quick to pursue, shooting missiles after getting missile lock. Keeping the plane in a full dive, I released flares and took out my Rosenberg Sphere. 4,000 feet… 3,000 feet… 2,000 feet “We’re going to die!” the other pilot screamed. 1,000 feet… 500 feet I activated the sphere and pulled hard on the stick. Normally this maneuver would be impossible, but the Rosenberg Sphere allowed us to not only avoid the ground, but reach Mach 10 within seconds. By the time the fighter pilots could react we had vanished into the night sky.

Everyone was edgy so I tried making jokes about “my awesome flying” to ease the tension, but no one was in the mood. Since it would take 50 minutes to get to my island (even at Mach 10) I told them the plan. “We have to stop this war since a magick war could easily kill billions. Like the nuclear deterrent of the 20th century, we need an even greater weapon to stop this one. However, no mechanical weapon can beat magick as the world has seen, and nothing we’ve developed is powerful enough to deter. That leaves one option, to develop the next generation of Rosenberg Spheres.” I gave everyone a minute to think about what I was saying before continuing, “Some of you may say it’s impossible; others may say we shouldn’t after the horror we’ve seen. To those that say it’s impossible, know that I have already designed such a device; to those that say we shouldn’t, look at history and see how the atrocity of a weapon is quelled with a more powerful weapon. As much as I hate to see magick be used for violence, there isn’t a better alternative.”

The rest of the flight was silent as everyone recovered from the excitement of the flight and my announcement. The plane soon came to a landing and the seven of us made our way to the main house. There were the two pilots, my three research assistants, my personal assistant, and myself. The vibe was still morbid so I gave everyone a tour of the mansion. The home had: eight bedrooms, five bathrooms, a swimming pool, two living rooms, a kitchen, a dining room, and a screened-in parlor. Additionally, there was an underground bunker that included an indoor farm capable of feeding ten people, its own source of water, a lab, and living quarters.

After the tour we went to bed for the night, but I was restless. I couldn’t stop thinking about the day’s events and the upcoming trials. After an hour of lying in sleepless frustration I decided to start the project. Taylor was already in the lab; she was looking through the supplies. “Can’t sleep?” I asked as I opened the door.
“I can’t do this Alexander… I won’t work on something that will kill even more people.” Her voice wavered as she spoke.
“I won’t ask you to.” I held her as sorrow overcame her.

It took a while for her to calm down, but once Taylor did she asked, “On the jet you claimed you already designed such a device, what did you mean?”
“I call it E7. It isn’t a weapon per se, but it should be over 30 times more powerful than the current spheres. Also it isn’t designed for a purpose; it just interacts with prana in its purest form.” We continued to talk for hours about the potential of E7. By the time we finished talking we were both tired. Sleep overtook me quickly and somewhat peacefully after I went back to bed.

The researchers and I spent the next three weeks preparing the materials and revising the blueprints for E7. During this time the war raged on and the casualties grew exponentially. When the announcement that 500 million people had died in the war Taylor decided that the war wouldn’t resolve itself and began working in the lab. She was essential in identifying multiple wrong assumptions, any of which would have destroyed the sphere. It was day 37 when the materials were in order and the blueprint was complete, except for one problem. The complexity of E7 made it impossible to create by hand or machine. Its 2.9 million connections had to be precise and in a constant state of oscillation and rotation. This paradoxical motion is why no one could produce a Rosenberg Sphere that only had 103,000 connections.

After days of failing to solve the problem we all took a break. We had a feast to celebrate a temporary cease fire between the US and North Korea. Although war was still being fought, I thought it might be the start of peace. I decided to grill steaks with corn and baked potatoes on the side. I was checking to see how everyone wanted their steak when Taylor answered. She wrapped her arms around me, squeezing tightly, “I’ll take it hot and pink.” Needless to say, I was excited; I hadn’t been with anyone since my fiancée. Taylor held me while I finished grilling the steaks; we talked about normal things, our conversation drifted from music and movies we missed to the things we never did. “I always wanted to climb a mountain and jump off.” I said as I thought about skydiving.
“I’m a simple girl; I just want to backpack across Europe.”
“That’d be a blast, but you’re anything except simple; you are a woman of intrigue that I would need a lifetime to figure out.” I turned around cupping her chin with my hand. Her blue eyes gazed at mine, my heart raced as I thought about what I should do. The moments passed and I feared what may happen, it was the paralyzing excitement I always felt during romance. It was the one time I wished that I was the woman so I didn’t have to take the leap of faith; however, I wasn’t so I began to lean in for a kiss. Her gaze never leaving mine, the feelings growing as our lips neared.

It was right before our lonely lips met one another that she rubbed her finger on my nose. She had dipped it in barbeque sauce while I was admiring her. “Save it for tonight Romeo.” she winked as she pulled apart and skipped away. I could only stand there watching in utter confusion. I wondered if I should have been quicker or said something else, or perhaps it was foreplay. I was lost in thought until I nearly fell with a thud on my back. “Women, you can only hope to understand them.” Eric, the pilot said. Laughing I told him that I don’t even hope for something that impossible. We talked about love and romance until the steaks were done.

Eric helped me put everyone’s plate on the table in the parlor overlooking the backyard. We all took our seats and began to eat. Around three bites in Eric tapped his knife to his glass, “It’s been a pleasure to be with everyone on Fantasy Island and I look forward to the weeks to come. I pray that we can continue to live in peace and happiness and that we may all meet that special someone.” He looked at me while he said the last part. Everyone agreed as we toasted to peace, love, and happiness. I knew the meals were excellent since no one left a bite.

After dinner we went for a late night swim in the pool. We all played around seeing who could make the biggest splash. It was a much needed break from the usual work, and it gave Taylor and me a chance to enjoy each others company. When we grew tired of jumping around we started a game of water volleyball. Between points I caught Taylor looking at me, but she would always look away when I noticed, and she caught me doing the same. This allowed the passion to grow while I thought of ideas to woo her. The score was 18-16, and it was my serve. I hit it in the deep corner and Eric could barely return it. Taylor took the chance to set me up for a slam, but I let it fall untouched. I was too distracted by the light show beyond.

I guess light show is misleading; it was actually the explosions of a battle no more than 100 miles away. The battle was an awful reminder of what we were here for; we were refugees dreaming that we could stop the horror. “Let’s get to the bunker in case it heads this way.” I said as I got out of the water. Talk about a buzz kill I thought with a little disappointment and a lot of resent. Before we could get to the bunker we saw the bright blue lights that meant this wasn’t any battle; it was a battle of magick. My friends became somber knowing that we were mostly to blame for the people about to die, but I actually got excited. I was inspired with an idea that would either work or kill me. I began running to the lab because I had thought of a way to make something that was impossible to build.

I looked through the supplies grabbing my Rosenberg Sphere and the blueprints. I examined them again to make sure they looked accurate. A working E7 Sphere would be impossible to make due to its complexity. However, I could create a flat, fixed sphere and then animate it with my Rosenberg sphere. The design, although complex was possible for me. (The 2 dimensional blueprint of an E7 Sphere is shown below)

By the time the others got to the lab I was smiling with excitement. “Are you mad?” Taylor asked me.
“Probably, but I figured out how to make the E7. I know I shouldn’t be excited, but the thought of stopping the horror we just saw…” It took several hours of debating before everyone agreed that we should try it.

Even creating it as a flat disc took four days since each connection had to be lined up within a fraction of a micrometer or it wouldn’t work. Thankfully, the work wasn’t that complicated so the pilots were able to help. We expedited the process by each constructing sections that I combined in the proper way. To give you an idea of what that was like, imagine a puzzle with three million pieces that all have the same shape, but only make the picture one way. Furthermore, if you assemble it wrong, you’ll probably die, or at least destroy the puzzle. Therefore, it took two more days to combine all the parts together. During this time my island was fire bombed by the military. I don’t think they realized anyone was here, let alone me, or even the bunker would have been destroyed.

Day seven was the most stressful. Taylor checked my work before I asked them to leave the bunker. The military had already moved northwest so the island was safe for now, and I didn’t want them in here if things went wrong. I laid the disc in an airtight chamber so there wouldn’t be any airborne debris and got my Rosenberg Sphere ready. Taylor had waited in the room while I finished the preparations, “I’m staying to help.”
“I can’t lose you if this doesn’t work, please go for me.” Her frustration was apparent, but she agreed. Before leaving she pulled me to her, kissing me without reservation. The kiss lasted minutes, but time seemed to melt in the heat of the moment. “That’s how you kiss someone; now don’t die so you can try to do it right.” She said as she left, leaving me alone in the bleak lab.

The fear of dying now that I had something to lose was great. I prayed to whatever deity would listen as I poured my hopes into the Rosenberg Sphere. It hummed as it began channeling all the prana in the room, condensing it into the disc. The disc gained a light blue aura as more energy poured into it. The air in the room grew thin as the pressure grew around the disc. Although by now the disc looked like a deflated balloon, but it was quickly gaining size. Within a minute it had become a perfect sphere that slowly began to rotate and oscillate. The motion grew increasingly ornate as all the parts began moving in their own direction at a rapid speed. Soon the E7 Sphere was creating a high pitch whine before it went beyond human hearing; it shattered all of the glass in the room and was beginning to make the steel reinforced walls shake. Dust started raining from the ceiling as the pressure from the sphere grew to extraordinary levels. The pressure had already forced me to the ground, but I was still willing my Rosenberg Sphere to power the E7 Sphere. This continued for a few seconds before I was sure I would die as large parts of the ceiling began to fall around me. When I thought death was certain, the building quit shaking and the pressure disappeared. My Rosenberg Sphere shattered, turning into dust.

The E7 Sphere was rotating at such a high speed it looked solid. The question was now how to grab it without messing up its rotation or destroying whatever touched it. When I couldn’t think of any good ideas I decided to use my hands to pick it up. Surprisingly, I wasn’t able to touch it because it had generated a field around itself. The field was easy to interact with. It was like grabbing soft foam when I picked it up. The sphere looked like a dark metallic ball with a dim blue glow.

I grew increasingly excited about the accomplishment thinking about how Taylor would react. I ran to the elevator to get to the surface so I could show everyone, but it was destroyed by the ‘earthquake’ earlier. I didn’t get too concerned until I saw the stairs had collapsed. I yelled for the others but I had been buried too deep for them to hear me. I thought about possible escape options, but they all seemed futile. My only chance was to use the sphere and escape with magick. The stairwell seemed like a better alternative since it wouldn’t have a door as well. There was rubble three floors above me and the rest had collapsed below me. I tried moving the rubble by willing the sphere to move it, and then I tried to get it to destroy it, but nothing happened. I spent an hour trying unsuccessfully. I was so upset I started yelling at the sphere, “You stupid piece of crap, you were supposed to save the world and you can’t even save me.”
Surprisingly, I felt a presence in my mind, “To create does not certify control.”
“And what would.” I thought sarcastically.
“A trial and a tribulation; no less, no more for divine power.”

As discouraging as going crazy was, it did steel my determination to escape, even without magick. I went to the living quarters and broke the legs of the bed-frame into sharp spikes, undid the shoelaces of the extra shoes, and found a satchel to put the sphere in. I tied the longer bed-frame spikes on the sole of my shoes and planned my ascent. After I chose a route I stabbed the spikes into the wall that had developed some give from the shaking earlier. It took me several minutes to climb the three floors where the rubble was at. I tried dislodging a small bar so that it all didn’t crash down on me, but I could get through. It wouldn’t budge at first so I pulled harder; nothing happened so I pulled with all my strength, but still nothing. “This isn’t fair, if it would just move out of my way I could climb this.”
“Trials and tribulations; a brave act for a small sample.” The presence in my mind told me. I tried pulling on the same bar, but instead of struggling I ripped it clean out. The hole was small, but I was able to fit as I climbed the last two floors to daylight.

Before I could even get on my feet Eric had pulled me up, “I was sure you died when the ground shifted, what happened?” I briefly told them everything, except the voice in my head. Once I finished telling them, Taylor let me have it for making her worry like that, and I was too exhausted to argue. After she relaxed I asked how we could leave; fortunately, the jet survived because they didn’t destroy the hanger. We all began gathering our remaining supplies and clearing the debris on the runway. It took hours before everything was ready and the sun set.

I had another sleepless night as I planned how to stop the war with a sphere that didn’t work. Hours passed without any decent ideas. I was about to start shouting with frustration when the presence returned “Morale motivations, permits provisional power.”
“Does that mean you’ll help me?” I thought, but never got a response.

The sun rose too quickly as we got ready for today. The engines hummed as we took to the sky; our destination was Sri Lanka. A large battle would probably happen in the area since several military superpowers had moved to the area after India was conquered. It was a golden opportunity to prove to the world that they were outclassed and needed to cease fire. It was my chance to stop the war before it caused irreversible damage.

The flight there was uneventful until we were 30 miles from Sri Lanka. Our jet was instructed to reroute because of a temporary no-fly zone, which meant that we were close. “Fly to where they tell you and be safe. I will see you soon.” I told the pilots before going to get ready. On the way to the cargo bay I saw Taylor. I tried to find the words to describe my feelings or to ease her worries, but they failed me. Instead I could only give her a smile that betrayed my intentions, “Come back to me.” she said more worried than before. I tried to think of something to say, but when I couldn’t I just waved while walking to the cargo bay.

I had stored several parachutes and a wingsuit in the cargo bay for skydiving purposes. I checked my gear and repacked the chute while the pilot lowered our altitude to 14,000 feet. “14,000 feet sir; go kick some ass.” I heard the pilot say on the intercom. I opened the door and prepared for war. I jumped out of the bay, and within seconds I was falling rapidly before I spread my arms and legs, gliding to where I needed to be. The beauty of the world from a 2.5 mile freefall is unmatched by anything else. The freedom of soaring through the air without a glider or a plane is indescribable. Unfortunately, I couldn’t waste time enjoying the beauty as I began looking for ships. This proved to be simple since the military had already started skirmishing for air superiority. I flew towards the ships they were coming from.

Everything changed when I deployed my parachute; I went from an invisible phantom to a target. Eight seconds passed until the anti-air guns targeted me. I put all my concentration into making a shield, but nothing had happened. I saw the shot leave the barrel and heads toward me, as it approached my fear turned to panic. “Please protect me!” I begged E7 pulling it close to my heart so it could feel my prayer. The flak exploded ten feet away as I clenched preparing for a gruesome death. Instead I felt nothing, when I opened my eyes there was fire swirling around me. This happened constantly for twenty seconds until a pair of fighter jets approached. As they flew towards me the flak stopped, but the jets fired missiles and machine guns. I prepared for the impact, but felt nothing; unlike the Rosenberg Spheres, the E7 didn’t conform to the assault, its defense felt impenetrable.

Feeling “comfortable” I grabbed my radio to announce that I was an American who had come to help. This didn’t change anything as the barrage of fire continued. I was at 3,000 feet when they stopped firing. Instead, the largest of their destroyers pointed a golden barrel at me. Its barrel was around four feet in diameter, and a blue light grew brighter as I prepared for chaos. I willed my sphere to fire towards the destroyer. Rather it was an American vessel or not, it was between me and it, so I steeled my resolve and tried to fire my own shot. It took around two seconds before the beam of light raced towards me to erase my existence. It was close, but before it reached me I had managed to fire a beam towards them. Unlike their solid blue beam, mine had layers; its inner layer was an inch in diameter and was a radiant white, and it was surrounded by a blue beam similar to theirs.

It was like a Dragon Ball Z fight with the blue beams struggling to gain dominance. Yet, the white inner beam effortlessly sliced through theirs, hitting the ship and creating a white bubble. The bubble was around a half mile that soon dissipated to reveal nothing. It was a massive implosion that caused the ships, the water, and the air to disappear. It was strange since one moment there was a battle between two navies and the next an entire fleet was gone leaving a crater in the water.

I watched the remaining fleet to see how they would react. I hoped they would flee and tell the world, but instead they made me their primary target. I reformed the shield before the missiles and flak reached me. The battle seemed similar to the other one, except for one key difference. The remaining fleet prepared to fire magic weapons at me, but instead of one they had three. I tried to destroy them before they could fire, but they were able to shoot at the same time as me. “Trials and tribulations precede divine power, perhaps next life.” the presence mocked as it failed to do what I needed. Instead of something that could block the three shots like I was hoping for, it fired the same shot as last time. Although the white beam created an implosion destroying the fleet, their shots hit me in the chest. The agony was excruciating, it only took a split second, but the pain felt like a millennia.

My last thought before the pain became too much was of Amelia, my late fiancée. Her green eyes seemed to be able to gaze into the depths of someone’s soul. Her wavy hair had a youthful elegance unlike any other, but it was her smile that I missed the most; it was so beautiful it could warm the coldest of hearts. At least she didn’t see the suffering I caused was my only consolation before I passed out from the pain.

“I thought there were but eight.” said the man with a deep voice.
“There are.” replied the other with a melodic voice.
“Then how do you explain her?”
“I can’t.”
“What should we…”

Their conversation continued, but I couldn’t stay awake any longer. Strange dreams pulled me down the rabbit hole. I saw a pulsating light that changed shape and color; it was a kaleidoscope of ‘knowledge’ that opened itself up time and time again to reveal more information. It felt chaotic as everything grew brighter and faster until it became an unchanging radiant blue plane.

I was in the plane with someone in the distance. Her eyes were green with an amethyst ring along the edge. This ring seemed to radiate the intensity of her gaze into existence. After studying me for a while she said something; I could tell it was important, but I couldn’t hear what she said. I tried to get her to repeat herself, but the world disappeared.

“She’s waking up.” I heard a woman say.
“I was beginning ta worry about her, she’ll probably need a drink.” said a nearby man. I tried looking to see who they were and who they were talking about, but my vision was too hazy.
“Drink this it’ll make you feel better.” I took a sip from the cup the woman offered. The drink tasted terrible, like cheap wine. “Drink more miss, you have been asleep for days.” she said as she handed me the cup. I managed to take several more gulps before the foul taste caused me to gag. Despite the bitterness, it helped me become aware of my surroundings.

There were locks of wavy hair in my eyes so I brushed it aside. You would think a person would then become aware of their delicate hand or the weight on their chest, but this wasn’t the case. Instead I noticed how small the house was, if you could even call it a house. It was one room; there were two small “windows” and one door. The furniture consisted of a couple wooden chairs pushed against a crude wooden table, a bed in the corner, and a cupboard. There was also a small fireplace burning three logs and an oven made of clay and tile.

After looking around the room… I mean the house, I became aware of myself. I was sleeping on a large sack stuffed with straw and a small burlap sack stuffed with something a little softer. A large cloth had been draped over me like a sheet. I was taking everything in when I felt burdened; the sheet was pulled over me too tightly since it was crushing my chest.

“So what’s your name? I’m Runa and my husband is Anzo.” she asked while giving a welcoming smile.
“Alexander.” I thoughtlessly replied while I fiddled with the sheet.
“I’m sorry mam’ what’d ya say yer name was?” her husband asked with a thick accent.

Until he asked that I was wondering where the woman they were talking about was, but my mind began connecting the dots. When I realized they were probably referring to me I grabbed at my hair realizing it came to my mid-back. I also realized the pressure I felt on my chest earlier wasn’t because of the sheets, but because of my breasts.

I was so distraught I could only think of one name, “Amelia” I said.
“It’s a pleasure ta meet ya. Are ya okay you look pale?” Anzo asked.
“Yes, I’m just nervous since I don’t know where I’m at.” I said while unsuccessfully trying to calm myself down. My voice had risen several octaves, and no longer resonated in the air. Instead it had a melodic hum as I spoke.
“You’re in our house which is outside of Vindonissa.” Runa said as she gently squeezed my hand to help me relax.
“Where’s that?”
“It’s just a few leagues from the Rhine River and a day’s ride from the Danube; it’s on the southern edge of Alamanni lands.” Anzo said.

I knew that the two rivers were near each other in Europe, around northern Switzerland, but I thought it was strange that they referred to distance in leagues not miles or kilometers. I had also never heard of the Alamanni or Vindonissa. “What’s the date?” I asked as I pondered the strange way he gave the location.
“It’s November 20, ya have been asleep for two days since I found ya.”
“What year?” I asked.
“298.”

I stammered for a moment while my mind raced. I wondered if it was a weird dream, or perhaps a bad prank. Either way, my mind seemed to overload and I collapsed on the sack bed. I imagine I passed out, since I woke up with Runa beside me. She commented on how much my color had improved.

As I stood up a lock of hair fell in my face confirming that it wasn’t just a nightmare. “Where’s your restroom?” I asked with urgency.
“Our what?”
“Your restroom… your toilet.” I said while fidgeting with the wool dress I had been clothed in.
“I don’t know what that is, perhaps you can describe it.”
“I have to pee, where can I do that?”
“There’s a pot outside.”

I grimaced at the thought of not only relieving myself as a woman, but in a pot. Humiliation washed over me when I opened the door and saw a clay pot. It had a number of stains from its previous “visits” and offered no place to take a seat. I stood there for a while as I thought about holding it, but I knew it was a fool’s errand, so I resigned myself to my new life.

The first day continued forward with a great deal of awkwardness. Between me constantly referring to things that didn’t exist or doing things that were considered rude, I felt like an outsider. I had forgotten that only the wealthy drank things other than wine and beer in the past, when I asked for water. They laughed it off, but I could tell it was offensive since it emphasized their poverty.

By the time it was dark I was relieved to go to sleep, to escape from my reality and into my fantasies. Sadly, the only dreams that presented themselves to me were chaotic; they were filled with the sounds of steel clashing, fires raging, and women screaming.

I woke up shortly after dawn. Runa was gently humming as she cooked breakfast. “Good morning.” I told her as I made my way to see what she was cooking. She was boiling eggs and had already prepared some cheese.
“I knew you needed your sleep; breakfast will be ready soon.”
I offered to help, but she gratefully declined.

When she served breakfast there was only a plate for me. She joined me at the table with a cup of wine as we spoke. Our conversation was less awkward today since I had begun to orient myself to the culture shock. We spoke about things like the current events (of 298), which I thought was humorous, what she thought about Vindonissa, and how I ended up here.

I was surprised to learn that Anzo had found me nude on a grass hill when he was returning from Aventicum. It was a five day ride that he had made to do trade. Thankfully, he was only a few hours from his home when he found me or I probably wouldn’t have made it since I was dehydrated, starving, and freezing.

Our conversation continued well after I had finished my eggs when she asked about my culture. It was obvious I wasn’t a member of the Alamanni, “…from your mannerism to the way you speak, even your name is foreign.” as Runa put it. I decided to claim I couldn’t remember, since I didn’t know if they were aggressive towards the Romans or the Goths, the only other cultures I knew from that time.

After hours of talking with Runa I realized how much I owed them. Not only did he save my life, but he was giving me food and shelter. I didn’t want to freeload off of the people showing me such kindness so I went looking for Anzo. I found him several acres away from the house, in the middle of his peas’ field. We exchanged greetings as I made my way through the rows. I watched him for several minutes to get an idea of what he was doing before I started helping. His look told me how much he appreciated the help, even if he stayed silent. The work lasted till sunset with the exception of an afternoon meal.

By the time the sunset, I was exhausted. I couldn’t remember having ever done so much work. Granted I was used to working 10 or 12 hours per day, but the physical effort left me exhausted. For the second night of my new life, sleep welcomed me as I lay still in the makeshift bed.

The night passed similar to the last, horrible dreams of slaughter. As the women were violated and killed, the children were beaten unconscious, and the men died for honor I grew disgusted. I cursed as I watched everyone die, unable to help.

No matter where I looked it was the same despair, and then I saw something even worse. Anzo had been backed into a corner by three men; he was protecting a girl no older than six. The men took turns attacking, toying with him as they cut him in the arms and legs, avoiding the killing blow. With the last strike he was brought to the ground as they cut his thigh. The sadness was too much when he begged for the life of the girl, begging them to do what they will, but to spare her.

That is when I snapped, screaming with rage in my desperation to save Anzo. However, I was powerless. Then the largest of the three men approached Anzo smiling with satisfaction. He raised his sword and brought it down with all his might.

My heart stopped and so did the sword. Actually, everything stopped, from the embers in the air to the men assaulting the town. However, the sounds of crying and yelling continued. Amongst the loudness I almost missed it. No louder than a whisper I heard, “Tis the tribulation if you fail your trial.”

The frustration of my dreams pulled me from my sleep. I debated if it was a nightmare or a vision, if that voice was the same from earlier, or what I could do to prevent it. Realizing that more sleep would be impossible because of my racing thoughts I decided to start my day.

I went outside to answer nature’s call and to avoid waking Runa or Anzo. It was another brutal reminder of what had been lost as I carefully leaned over the stained “throne.” As I waited for nature to takes its course, I tried to think positive, to find one good thing of this crappy situation. Of course I could only think about avoiding falling in or my nightmare. That is until I noticed how bright it was even for morning twilight.

The view was magnificent, I could see more stars than I knew existed. Countless stars spread across the sky in a twinkling brilliance. Part of the reason I owned my island was for stargazing, but not even that could compare to this. The light of the night sky filled without the interference of a single manmade light anywhere in the world… words could not describe its beauty.

Nearly an hour passed as the sun rose. Runa broke me from my trance when she came outside. “Beautiful isn’t it?” she asked, already knowing the answer. “Breathtaking” I said without any hesitation; the golden rays had replaced the stars above.

We entered their humble home to enjoy the breakfast she had made, it was beets and bread this time. Hardly the breakfast of champions, but it was enough to allow me to take on the day. Nothing significant happened while we ate, merely discussing the weather and upcoming harvest.

I was surprised to learn that Anzo planned to return to Aventicum to gather the supplies he’d need for his winter harvest. It seemed strange to make such a long trip so soon; however, it was necessary since he didn’t have two horses to pull a large cart, nor did he have a large enough cart for all the supplies regardless.

As we worked in the fields, finishing the preparations to harvest his peas and potatoes he told me what he hoped to do. “I know ya just got yer strength back, and ya still only have half yer wits, but I’d like ya to come wit me.” I was eager to see more of this time than just their small farm so I eagerly agreed. “It’s ma hope someone’ll recognize ya in the town, or ya may know them.” Anzo said, “If not yer welcome to come back wit me.” He added as an afterthought. “That’s a great idea, and no matter what I’ll help you with anything you need.” I assured him.

A fortnight passed until Anzo was pleased with his crops. During this time I continued to learn more about the Alemanni, how to cook without modern conveniences, and most of all I became more comfortable with my new body. Except for nature’s calls that is, that still disgusted me to no end. If it weren’t for that part I may even have enjoyed it all, but that daily reminder was beyond gross.

It was mid-December when we loaded up the wagon with our necessities. In addition to the bedrolls, some food, and a small axe; we took as many beets from his fall harvest and peas from his quick growers as possible. Since they had almost no gold or silver he bartered for supplies with the crops they grew.

The ride was refreshing, we followed a trail just off the river, which led straight to Aventicum. The air was crisp as the sun began to set; which is when we found a clearing to sleep for the night. While he gathered wood for a fire, I laid out the bedrolls and gathered some water from the nearby river.

Once he’d started the fire I made a vegetable soup with beets, potatoes, and peas. After Runa’s teachings the soup came out really well compared to my earlier attempts. As we ate Anzo told me we’d covered nearly a third of the way. “The road gets hilly, and winds round, we’re gonna go slower from here but we’re in a good place.” After dinner we crawled into bed for my first night away from the farm.

The next few days passed similar, eating raw vegetables while we traveled and a meatless stew at night. Our progress continued to slow as the road turned into a trail, until it was nothing more than a clearing in the woods. By day four two things had become apparent; ancient travel was painfully slow and I was jealous of him “marking our trail” whenever he had to pee. It was a noticeable contrast to whenever I had to freeze up to my thighs as I hoisted my dress above my waist.

The fifth day ended with Aventicum just beyond the horizon as we found a place far from the trail. Due to his budget we couldn’t afford a room at the inn, so we tried to seclude ourselves to avoid furtum*. I was disappointed that we couldn’t see the town tonight, but I wasn’t surprised. However, when he killed the fire so we wouldn’t have any unwelcomed guests I was.

To make it worse, it was the coldest day since I had arrived in this time. It couldn’t have been much above freezing, and there was a northern breeze that made it unbearable. Even under my bedroll I couldn’t stop shivering, I could just pray that morning came quickly.

After nearly a half hour I gave up on sleeping and hoped that watching the stars would help the time pass. Of course, it was too cold for even that to take my mind off the shivering.

“It’s a bitch, tha cold goes through ya like daggers,” Anzo said as he rolled to face me. “No, I’m alright,” although my teeth chattering betrayed my words. He gave me a small grin that I couldn’t see without the firelight as he stood up. He took off his wool sagum* and handed it me, “here try n’ get some sleep wit this.” At first I tried refusing his gesture, “you need it as much as I do.”

“Buy a lady should always be warm.” When Anzo told me that I just gave a weak thanks, remembering not for the first time how much had changed. When I put on the sagum I could still feel his warmth; it enveloped me in its comforting embrace, causing the shivering to stop within a minute as my tired eyes closed.

I awoke at sunrise, I was relieved to have gone through the night without nightmares or to have awoken half frozen. Anzo awoke shortly after, stretching as he came to. I thanked him with great sincerity as I tried to return his sagum, but he told me to hold onto it since we were due for another cold day. We repacked our things as we led the horse back to the trail which had become a road yet again. On the short ride, probably around three hours, we ate breakfast and discussed his trading plans.

His goals were to meet with Bernard, since he was wealthier than most even though he had no lands so he tended to pay the most for good crop. Of course we would barter with him first getting the scythe and new shoes for the horse. Afterwards, Anzo wanted to stop by one of the main inns and start trying to find someone who recognized me while we had a hot meal. Lastly, we would get a few ingredients for pickling. Since salt was beyond expensive, especially outside of Rome, we would be getting vinegar so we could preserve the harvest.

He had finished explaining his plans when we came to the outer wall; it actually took my breath away. I didn’t realize how the “savage barbarians” of history could have built something so imposing. It was around 15 feet in height, at least 5 feet thick, and it circled the city entirely. The gate was the least impressive part, it was made of a wood that was around 12 feet high and had to be 3 feet thick.

Anzo saw my look of astonishment and laughed, “it’s amazing isn’t it. We conquered it from Rome just o’er a decade ago.” At least I understood how the city was built, but it didn’t make it any less impressive. “We owe it ta Adalwin, he led us ta victory,” he added as I continued to stare.

A large part of why it was still so impressive is how they could possibly conquer this from Rome. Furthermore, I had never seen an intact ancient city, just the ruins which do it a great disservice. While I was standing in awe, Anzo spoke with the guard about our business, where we were from, and how long we planned to stay.

After they spoke the guard began looking through our cart before he waved us by. As we crossed the gate the scope of the city took on its true magnificence; the Roman design apparent. Beyond the well laid out houses, there were multiple temples, a theater, an amphitheater, and baths. Normally I would be excited to clean my filth after weeks of farm-work and travel; however, due to the freezing temp, I actually dreaded the thought.

I followed Anzo through the grid like roads until we came to a shop on the corner. It had a small smelter and an anvil, which immediately let me know we had come to our first stop. I knew they were more than just business associates when the man stopped hammering the glowing blade and pulled Anzo into a friendly embrace. “It’s good to see you my old friend and who’s your friend.” He asked as he noticed me standing just inside the posts. “It’s always too long between visits, and the first thing ya ask is about ma lady.” Anzo said in somewhat playful banter. “Well unless Runa’s fallen ill you don’t have room for a lady this beautiful.” He said as he walked up to me, “my name is Bernard and it is my pleasure,” he grabbed my hand giving a half bow as he finished his sentence. “Amelia, and you do me too much honor.”

However, between being called a lady, beautiful, and the last part I was blushing profusely. Me… blushing? I could hardly believe it, and I absolutely refused to believe that I actually enjoyed it.

“My lady, it would be an insult to say any less than the truth when such a gem comes to my shop.” By this point I was just looking away my cheeks much redder than they were from the cold. Anzo clearing his throat to regain Bernard’s attention, “perhaps we could get onta business.” Rather he said it realizing my distress or wanting to conclude business so we could return home, he felt like my savior again.

“Of course, so how do you plan to take advantage of me this time,” Bernard said playfully. “By any beauty necessary,” He winked at me when he said this, “I mean by any business necessary.” Both men chuckled as my cheeks grew redder than the snapdragon’s I saw on the long trip. By this point I was disgusted with myself for behaving in such a way. As I pushed the thoughts to the back of my mind I began to look around the shop as they continued their business.

Between swords, axes, and farm equipment I could tell that Bernard was an excellent blacksmith. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the best in Aventicum, and one of the best outside of Rome. However, it was a dagger that caught my eye. This was the most marvelous piece I’d ever seen outside of the ceremonial weapons at temples or replicas in a museum. However, for a battle-ready weapon, its beauty was unmatched.

It had a black leather grip that was smooth except for a piece of blue-dyed leather that was twisted around it diagonally. The dye matched the gem, likely sapphire, in the pommel perfectly. The gem was a small circle that was encased in a silver cage. It only had a crossguard between the grip and blade, which was also made of silver that angled back towards the handle. The blade was smooth, except for a single midrib and the intricate design that flowed outwards. The blade was double edged, around 9 inches before coming to a sharp point. The craftsmanship on the blade rivaled any artwork I’d ever seen, a beauty that could take lives I thought to myself.

I had been staring at the puggio for nearly an hour as I heard the men say their farewells. Sighing as I walked away from the dagger I complemented Bernard on his skill, “you are without a doubt the most talented blacksmith throughout all the land.” I said genuinely. “And you are the most beautiful, which is why you should carry this for your protection.” He had grabbed the dagger I had been staring at. “But I couldn’t, you could sell that for a small fortune.” I backed away as I said that, not wanting to take such an unreasonable gift. “To hades with fortune, I can always make another, just keep it close on hand so you are safe.” He said as he handed me the dagger and the silver sheath.

Without thinking I gave him a hug as my breasts pressed into his chest. It was weird, I’d always wondered what women felt when that happened, and now I knew, it felt good. He chuckled as he returned the embrace, whispering in my ear “do ut des” (I give so that you may give). Before letting go I kissed his cheek and whispered back, “Oblata arripe, et secundum ritum” (Take what is given and do as requested).

I skipped to Anzo who was waiting for me. “I’m surprised he gave ya that; he always said he’s saving it for someone special. I thought he meant his daughter.” Anzo told me as he stood up. When he said that I looked back, but Bernard was back to work as he forged the blade he’d been working on when we arrived.

We had sold all of our supplies to Bernard for more than Anzo hoped to get. Claiming a certain lady kept Bernard from haggling as well as he normally did. I only thought Anzo was half-joking considering he gave me a dagger that probably cost as much as his shop.

After stabling the horse and parking the wagon, we walked to a nearby pub. Given how well his trade went Anzo splurged for some lamb, which was cooked with aromatic spices and served with bread. Sadly, this was the first meat I’d had since I came to this time. The pleasure stormed my mouth when I bit into the lamb, the flavors combining in a delicious way and the juices bursting out. Despite lamb having been one of my least favorite foods in times future, after a month without meat it was delicious.

After we finished eating Anzo spoke with the owner of the pub, asking if he recognized me. He gave them my name, and after a moment of thinking he let us know that he didn’t remember me, but gave some suggestions for where else to try. We spent many hours asking various innkeepers and shop owners, but no one recognized me, and not to sound vain, but I wasn’t the type of person you easily forgot about.

By the time we gave up the sun was already low in the sky, no more than two hours from sunset. Anzo was disappointed by the fact that no one remembered me, and that we had killed too much time to begin our trip back. Instead, we finished buying the things we’d need: vinegar, jars, and some extra supplies for me.

None of these stores resulted in anything exciting, just bartering before we went to our next stop. Nonetheless, it was twilight when we finished, but we had everything prepared so we could leave at first light in the morning.

* Furtum – theft of property or fraud
* Sagum – a rectangular cloak that came below the knee with a leather (could be metal) clasp around the neck. Typically worn by Roman military duing cold weather.

The bells cried out with urgency, their ringing loud and persistent. Each strike echoed throughout the room we were staying in. My still half-asleep mind cursed the churches for being so obnoxious so early in the morning. I turned on my side hoping to ignore it; I was enjoying sleeping in an actual bed for the first time in far too long. It was futile since the ringing grew louder and faster, its panic amplified by the sound of people yelling and running.

I was mostly awake from the commotion, “shit! That can’t be.” Anzo turned to face me, with a seriousness he rarely showed, “the sounds of war,” he replied solemnly. I jumped out of bed with more enthusiasm than when I was a child on Christmas. Of course the cause for my energy wasn’t excitement, but dread. From the second floor of the inn I couldn’t see over the wall, but I could see the men running to the eastern wall grabbing whatever weapons they could find. Women and children taking refuge in various places, rather it was their homes, the temples, or a few other public buildings.

I watched the panic as my mind struggled to grasp everything. It was impressive how quickly the men gathered, trained soldiers and guards separate from the “militia” who were mainly using farm equipment for weapons. All the while women and children were running the opposite direction towards the center of the city.

“Why is this happening?” Everyone else’s worry had spread to me, for everyone to panic in such a way. “They want their city back, but we’ll die before they can have it.” Anzo said looking angrier than before. “First things first, we need ta get ya ta a safe place, then I’ll join the others.” His expression softened as he looked at me. “I refuse,” my resolve was absolute as I stared him in the eye, “I will fight with you.” He stammered before finding his words “but… no… it’s just… ya will do as I say and ya will be safe with the others.” His concern was touching, but I wasn’t backing down, “No I won’t, if you fail then I’ll be a slave, let me fight for my freedom and your life!” I was screaming at this point my frustration nearly bringing tears to my eyes. “Battle is no place for a woman, let ma fight with honor without worrying about ya.” I could tell he wouldn’t back down, his values would never agree to let me join him, but I wouldn’t back down either.

We argued for far too long given the urgency of the situation. Instead of wasting more precious time I “agreed” to wait at the Cigognier Temple. Anzo gave me a questioning glare, his distrust apparent, but even he also felt the urgency of time. We quickly gathered a few of our things and raced to our places. He was going to stop by the cart to get his axe as I ran towards the temple. As soon as I turned the corner and out of his sight I made a left instead of going straight for the temple. There was no way I was going to let this battle play out as I hid.

I decided to join the untrained men instead of the proper soldiers. I was watching the men stand around as a man on horseback road back and forth in front of them. “We will fight for our homes, we will fight for our families, and we will remind these Romans why they should stay out of our lands!” He gave a dramatic pause as everyone cheered, “The gods favor those with honor; these invaders have no honor. We’ve seen how they treated our brethren, what they did when we had talks of peace in times past. Now is the time for glory, so you will be remembered as the brave who defeated the Romans for time immemorial!” All the while the men were cheering, chanting, and cursing the Romans. Satisfied with the response he was getting he continued, “This is still a central crossroads for the Roman legions, although they have gathered on the eastern wall, we believe they will flank from the south after the battle begins. They must not pass through here.” All the men quit cheering as they listened to the details. “You will leave through the western gate and wait in the woods. If you here the trumpet sound thrice you will storm from your hideout and flank them. If they begin wrapping around the wall you will destroy them without mercy.” The men cheered again, but the enthusiasm from earlier had died down. “Do not fear death, the gods bless those who die with honor. Instead fear defeat, think of your women and children as you kill those bastards!”

Raising his sword he rode from right to left, each man shouting louder than any sports fan I’d ever heard. After crossing by all the volunteers he met up with the other officers who had given a similar speech to the guards and soldiers. Everyone from the reserve raced towards the western wall. No one realized the stupidity of the plan as they gathered at the western gate. The guards atop the wall with bows drawn looked outside. Satisfied that they didn’t see any opposition they yelled at the men who waited anxiously. “We will open the gates and you will do as instructed. Keep it fast and quiet, our victory may very well lay in your hands.” Once the gates opened it was chaos as the men began pouring out. However, what no one expected, would change the tide of battle.

Before even half the men could exit the walls hundreds of cavalrymen stormed from the woods we had planned to take refuge in. The result was disorganized chaos as some men charged, others tried to retreat into the gate, and those still inside who were clueless kept pressing forward. The design of the gate quickly revealed its flaw, by opening outwards, it was impossible to shut with so many men in the way. Rather they planned for it or not, the cavalry rode even harder to exploit our confusion. Slicing into the unarmored men with ease as they chopped down the ranks. This wouldn’t have been a complete disaster if it were just the cavalry but another 200 infantrymen were following quickly.

I tried yelling for everyone to fall back into the walls, but I couldn’t be heard over the clashing of steel and the screaming of the dying. The distance between the gate and the Romans continued to be cut down as the guards tried in vain to shut the gates. It was less than a minute before the cavalry were at our walls; the infantry not far behind since they weren’t having to fight the hundreds that lay dead. By now there was few enough of us blocking the gate to try shutting it, but whenever the groups of men would try the scorpiones* would pick them off. This futile effort continued for nearly five minutes as another 30 died in the process.

With the overwhelming strength of the assault and the lack of gear or training, the volunteers retreated to wherever their will carried them. Most ran to protect their families, some to protect their fortunes, and others to protect their lives. This is when the battle turned into a massacre.

I scrambled with the mass retreat, not hoping to go up against a cavalry division with a dagger. As I ran to the eastern wall I heard our trumpets ring thrice. Not only had they broken through our western wall they had begun the siege on the south. The walls we hoped to protect had turned into a prison as we waited for certain death.

*scorpiones – a type of mounted artillery piece, highly accurate used for killing people instead of sieging
walls, could fire 3 bolts per minute (resembled a little ballista or a mounted crossbow)