An interesting thing about life; no one gets out of it alive. People get shot, stabbed, thrown off cliffs, poisoned, and all manner of things involving a lack of morality each day. Yet one of the most surprising things about life is, what ends it the most often.
You hear plenty of people picketing and protesting, wanting to ban guns, nuclear weapons, and cigarettes. Guess what device being banned would save the most lives? The bathtub.
That's right folks, more than guns, more than car accidents, more than all the nuclear weapons ever used combined, baths are lethal. It isn't even close. But you never see grungy people protesting the leading cause of death multiple years in a row. Come to think of it, a bunch of Charlie Brown pig pen like people waving signs outside a capitol would be rather amusing.
You never hear of anyone asking to ban what killed me either; the internal combustion engine driven demon commonly known as the car. A Gremlin in my case, of all things. There I was, walking home from the movie theater with my best friend Reg.
Reg (or Reginald, though it meant a fight if you called him that) had been my friend since kindergarten. Maybe even since preschool, though my memory didn't go back that far. We had just gone to see the movie monster marathon at the Globe, an old time theater. It was October 29th, 1976 in Silo, Iowa.
Yes, they named the town Silo, I swear, I can't make this stuff up.
Silo was the typical two horse town; a small strip of suburbia placed in the middle of farms, large or small. Corn had more of a presence in the region than people. We had a small grocery store, a small hardware store, and a small theater that was among the oldest in the state. It was falling apart of course, but it still made money. Where that money went no one could say, cause it almost never showed new movies, instead showing grainy insect eaten copies of the classics.
It was also the only source of urban amusement for anyone living in the town. Next closest thing was one of the new malls in Bufordsville, a good thirty miles away. Kids like us could only reach it by parents, or by bike. And biking there on the interstate took way too long in my opinion.
Thad swore my dad was the best amusement in town. My dad was a mutant. A so called “gadgeteer” to be precise, he made strange hi-tech toys for kids. That's right, no cool robots or ray guns or futuristic appliances; dad (Dr. Wexler, or Paul to his friends) was a toy maker.
The toy that most people loved, that was even manufactured by Hasbro, was a walking talking cyborg guy with a light up eyes and a kung-fu grip called Commander Zap. Which was a stupid name, but nobody asked me. It paid the bills anyway, and I had the full line for free. I didn't see the allure though. I was more a fan of simple toys; model planes or trains, things like that.
The unspeakable things he did to my model train set still haunts me.
These wandering thoughts and memories were beneficial; they took me, for a brief time, away from the fact that I lay dying. But again I remembered, the panic setting in this time to stay, the dream of past fun times now tinged with the knowledge of approaching mortality like blood pouring from a wound.
Possibly even from my wounds, though I wasn't really capable of checking that.
WE had just gotten out of the theater, after the marathon, the last of which had been “Bride of Frankenstein”, a pretty awesome movie by 1930's standards, and were filing out into the street with the crowd, when the truck came. A semi without a trailer, driving down the interstate in what for us, was a late hour. It also seemed the driver had never been here before, as he missed the weather-beaten but still bright red stop sign at the intersection before the crosswalk. The crosswalk a good 10 of us were on. The crosswalk the Gremlin was just now passing.
I had looked up from some comment on how hot the actress was, even with stitches, to my friend Thad (who was a bit of a horndog) to see a puke green monstrosity coming at me, seeming to be at least five times larger than it likely was.
And then the sensation of flying; no pain, no impacts with either the truck or the ground. Just flying. My best friend's face swam into vision, sparking off a thousand memories of disjointed moments; stealing cookies from the cookie jar then running when my father saw us, laughing. Playing hide and seek in the woods with other kids. Lying in the warm sun, just soaking it up, next to the creek where we used to launch boats of our own making.
This mixed with a thousand other such moments, all sparkling crystals shining in the river of blood surging out of me with every beat of my overactive heart. Asking Julie Devries to the freshman dance, and her laughter. Actually going with Betty McCallister, and the great time we had, discoing away till our parents broke us up.
Playing baseball with Doug McCallister, her brother, and winning the little league regional that year. My father, on my tenth birthday, handing me the wrapped package that turned out to be the train set he later butchered. My mother, her face more clear than it had been in years, staring up at me with a smile I could only classify as melancholy.
More faces, names, dates, and blurs, all circling in and crowding me as my friend's face began to dim; there was no sound save the roar of my blood in my ears, and no sensation other than the creeping cold stealing it's way into me like a thief after my most valuable possession.
And then nothing at all.
This wasn't how I expected death to be. Where were the angels, the pearly gates, the past relatives my grandparents had told me about? For that matter where were my grandparents themselves? They had both died before this I was sure, I could remember being young and going to the funeral home for Grandma's, though I couldn't seem to picture her face anymore.
There we no devils either, no lake of fire and brimstone, no screams of the tortured sinners to serenade me.
There was only blackness, pure and total. No sensation, no pain, no sound, no sights. Nothing. I was all there was. The only thing that existed, though I could only prove I existed by chasing my increasingly muddled thoughts around, as a dog would chase it's own tail. Soon even that started to fade, and I simply was. I was trapped, with only myself to console me.
I made games to pass the time, relived memories till they began to fray around the edges. And still, there was naught but darkness.
Then there was light. It wasn't a clear break of day, the pure light of truth, or a magical epiphany of the hoped for variety. Instead it started out as an ever so perceptible dimming of the pure darkness I was enclosed in. The next thing noticed was sensation. The heat and cold I'd almost forgotten existed impinged upon all that I was, enlarging it.
Almost at the same time another increase in all that I was came to me. Sound. I remembered this from the dances and films that endlessly replayed themselves in myself. But this music was different; new. I had heard some of it before, the classics they were called. Some were remembered clearly from those very movies I could still remember.
But some, and these were the most important by far, were songs I had never heard before, for all that they involved the same old themes of love, loss and bragging. Some voices I even fancied I recognized, like the one that made me dream of meat. To my near endless frustration, I could not understand them. The dulcet tones nor gravelly baritones alike. I knew I should be able to, but I couldn't. The language seemed hauntingly familiar. Perhaps I had lost more of myself than I thought to the darkness?
I mourned, despairing that I would ever know such understanding again.
That led to my next discovery; I 'mourned'! I felt 'despair'! I could feel! All that I was had expanded! But I could not move. I was still trapped, even with the new/old/half remembered stimuli.
There were other voices too, that did not belong to the music, that spoke in soft gentle tones of almost reverence. I had the feeling they were speaking to me, but I couldn't understand them, and couldn't respond. I didn't even know how to. They came and went, unknowing of my plight.
Then my vision began to clear. I knew then, I had to have eyes! And to hear, I had to have ears! To feel cold, I had to have a body! I remembered bodies. Everyone had them, even I had once. But somehow I had one again?
The moon, that was the source of the light. It was almost painfully bright and oh so beautiful; a pure white like the light in my dreams had been. It was a friend, that light, and I embraced it as utterly as one can when one cannot move.
The heights of joy, to have a friend again! A dim memory of a face, almost lost, faded to a complete lack of recognition, surfaced. That was a puzzle; one I could not solve and that made me feel bad somehow. But the moon could be my new best friend, and I would love it utterly! It even had a face too!
A small part of me whispered that the moon would be a very poor friend, having no self to speak of, but I ignored that part of me. I was big enough now that I could ignore the parts of I that I did not like, and that one was a jerk.
And then greater despair; the moon left me. It stole itself away from my new vision, and I was alone again. How dare it move when I could not! I hated it!
Maybe the music would be my friend? It had not left me since I regained my hearing. Maybe it would stay? I listened intently, mourning the loss of the traitorous moon, but while the music itself was pure, and understandable, the words in some of it were gibberish, illusive. But some were beginning to make sense, as if I had heard them before.
The ones made by the meat guy were especially soothing. Something familiar somehow, even when it wasn't. More light came, this time tinged golden, and I expanded again. Memories of sunshine came back, of a thousand days spent in it's warmth. My vision was somehow drawn to it, a lodestone even brighter than the moon. I remembered now, the two chased each other around the sky. One meant the other would be gone or hiding... most of the time.
The rules of existence began to reassert themselves. My vision moved, which meant I had to have eyes. Hearing indicated ears. Feeling indicated a body. When I focused, I could blink... eyelids? Muscles with movement in them. My eyes did not like it, at first. But the pain, the beautiful wonderful pain which made me feel alive, eased.
Even better, my vision began to clear more. I began to make out the details of my new existence; a set of three walls of bare rough cut stone, with large wall hangings on them (I should know that word, I knew I should! Beautiful frustration!) with pictures of animals and things. Mixed with these were posters from movies that I had only a little trouble recognizing, and posters of... boys?
There were shelves lines floor to ceiling with stuffed animals and dolls too; a few of the other things I recognized as having been made by my... father! I had a father! I remembered him, a kooky man who made toys! More emotion; love so deep it swallowed me utterly, mixed with something else, something darker. I did not recognize the stuffed things, or the dolls, except as what they were.
I knew the Commander Zap action figure intimately; I just knew it was mine, the one I'd been gifted with at some point in life. The dolls, the stuffed things, did not have that recognition in their favor; they clearly did not belong, somehow.
Something else intruded on my awareness. Smell. The room smelled musty, of dust and other things not so definable to me. It felt like a tomb, or an unused shrine. How I knew that, I did not know. Maybe I had extensive knowledge of such things?
There was a big fireplace inset in the wall opposite me, and to the side of that closest to the window (a large thing with an arch at the top, all clear glass so clean I could barely tell the glass was there at all) The item on the other side, closest to the door and in it's own cabinet, looked kind of like a stereo system. Though I didn't see any spot to put the 8 tracks in, nor any records.
I was pretty sure it wasn't playing a radio station, as I heard no DJ. It was while pondering this mystery that I was dragged back into the all consuming darkness. I did not wish to go, but the pull was simply too strong. Had I ever sensed those things that were? Or had I simply made them up? Yet again, I despaired.
The jolt shook me awake though. Somehow I was in another place, a place of whiteness, and every nerve (?) I had was tingly and screaming at me. Blue arcs of electricity was arcing across my vision, and there was movement. I wasn't controlling it, but it was movement all the same!
When the arcs of blue stopped, the movement did too. The white settled in around me. Voices began, and understanding followed.
“No response, doctor. Monitors all report no change.”
“Damn, I was sure I'd gotten the mixture right this time!”
“You say that every time, doctor.”
I could do that. Why couldn't I do that? I tried but no sound came.
“Doctor, do you really think this will...? I mean, after so long...?”
“Yes nurse, I really do. Now remove the sheet, I want to check for burns.”
The white came off, and I saw.
I was in a large room, lit by rods of white so intense they seemed pieces of the moon itself, brought to me. There were large, ancient machines of arcane purpose scattered around me; I recognized one as a dynamo, and another as a very large plasma orb, something I was sure was only around for looks. Electricity was arcing along the various massive cables leading from machine to machine; Sure enough, two of those cabled ended above me with giant clips. Electricity then, was the source of the blue I had seen.
Of far more importance than the appearance of the massive room, its play of light and shadow in the dark corners and unease generated by the smell of blood, the fact that I could now feel alternately rough wood upon my back and a sheet upon my front, were the room's occupants.
The one staring at me in shock and alarm, I assumed was the 'nurse'. She was honey blonde, with muted gray eyes set in a pleasant face, clear and unlined. She was quite possibly the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen in my life. I knew she was female because she had breasts; big ones that bounced in a hypnotic way as she jumped away from me, taking the sheet with her.
“Doctor, her eyes are open!”
I tried to speak, to reach out, anything to stop this beautiful creature, this other I, from leaving me. The horror, the sheer stark terror she had at seeing me seared me with cold fire to my core. She took a deep breath, hand over her mouth as she scooted away from me.
My desperation peaked and my hand twitched, reaching towards the beautiful creature as the 'doctor' turned. Breathing! That was what I forgot! A gust of air rushed into me at my request, and the smells assaulting my nose increased tenfold. I idly noted that the chest expansion also affecting my own breasts.
The 'doctor was more lined than the 'nurse', having light brown hair streaked with gray and startling blue eyes. He was still fit, I noted, having an almost gaunt form encased in a white lab coat darkened with stains, and old ratty brown pants, and a gray shirt which might have once been white. I dubbed him beautiful creature number two... and then I recognized him, or thought I did. That faded image that haunted me so, of my best friend's face pulled itself into my surface thoughts in an instant, the gaps filled by the face before me.
My fumbling uncoordinated efforts finally bore fruit; I managed to grab the 'nurse's' arm, and she screamed.
Boy, could she scream! The delightful sensation of my eardrums almost bursting under the assault excited me, and I pushed forward with my attempt to communicate, to show that I was no threat to them, that to the contrary, I loved them and all they represented. But the efforts combined with my flash of recognition and the results got all jumbled.
“Pl...ple...Reg?”
The nurse dropped like a bird felled by a shot, taking me with her, as I would have sooner lost the arm I just found out I possessed than let her go again. Something that seemed a possibility, as it seemed very thin and only held on by a series of fine dark stitches, twined around it's width; the 'nurse's' weight nearly pulled my shoulder and arm off. The pain was exquisite.
The feel of her, the smell of her, was more so. She smelled of lavender soap and a slightly cloying perfume, with just a hint of sweat. She was wearing a spotless silk blouse and a denim skirt that did not quite reach her knees. She was soft and warm, and very inviting. I was concerned that she was lost to the self eating darkness, but she came back almost immediately, squirming briefly under me, then stilling.
The 'doctor' was still standing but motionless, his mouth open so far I could count his teeth. There were 14 in the upper jaw and 12 in the lower. There was something in his gaze that I was not sure I liked as he watched me nestle my head on the 'nurse's' breasts to better drink in their appealing softness, but I loved him anyway. Then he spoke, and something that was missing seemed to snap into place, like a puzzle's final piece.
“They called me mad! Mad! Was it mad to wish to try and reach beyond the veil of death, to pluck the very souls at will from that hungry embrace! And now look! Success! IT'S ALIVE...ALIVE!”
As he laughed, I stared into the face of the 'nurse' and smiled. I wanted to laugh with the 'doctor, but I did not know how. So instead I smiled, feeling the pulling of my cheeks as the nurse stared back with... fear?
The potential fear rapidly shifted to a sort of amused acceptance when I declined to move further; or at least that's what I felt. Her heart was calming, and she began to smile back at me. Yes I was alive, and away from the darkness, and here (wherever here was) people were warm, and not ghostly imitations of I. She even began stroking my head, which felt nice.
“So, um... can you get off me? Let me get up?”
I considered that. I didn't want to, so simply snuggled closer. I knew the perfect word for this, and after a bit, I remembered how to say it.
“Warm.”
After a moment she nodded her head.
“I suppose I am a bit warm, at that. And you’re ice cold. Alright, I get that, but can you at least ease up a little? You're hurting me here.”
I looked at her again, curious. She didn't want to know she was alive? Maybe she didn't need the reminder? She gently took her hands, and tried to loosen my arms. I didn't want to allow that, but I also didn't want to make her mad... so I moved them apart, a little.
I was rewarded with a smile that broke like the dawn across her features. I tried to return the favor, and she made a weird facial expression. I did not care, I loved her anyway.
“Do you remember your name?”
Name? What was a name? I knew what memory was, a recollection of something old... or something lost. So whatever a name was, I could safely say I did not remember what it was. But I also did not know how to tell doctor this. I was floundering, sure I would disappoint my new friends with my failures when the nurse took over.
“You don't remember, do you?”
I thought back, the right response for assertion of a phrase like that seemed to be to nod, so I did.
“See! She does remember!”
I looked at doctor blankly. Nurse shook her head.
“No, I think she nodded to tell me she doesn't know.”
I pointed to her and nodded vigorously.
“Right, thought so. You don't remember the word 'no', do you?”
As soon as she spoke it, I did. A word used to express denial, dissent or refusal. Also expressed by shaking one's head. How delightful, to have a head to shake, and express these things! I beamed, then shook my head with glee. Nurse made another weird face.
“I think she just remembered.”
I nodded furiously.
“Right, well I'm Gracie, and that is Reginald.”
I looked at them both. Were they trying to mess with me? I had heard their names! I pointed to each in turn.
“Nurse. Doctor.”
“No, those are not our names. Those are more... titles. Um, what we do for a living. My name is Gracie, and his is Reginald. Can you tell me what yours is?”
Doctor was silent. He knew this... name thing, I knew he did. Why did they get two names, anyway? It seemed greedy to me. What happened when someone else wanted a name? Did they share?
“Self.”
Doctor made a funny noise, and leaked water from his mouth.
“What was that?”
I pointed to each of them again in turn, and then to myself.
“Nu... Gracie. Reg. Self.”
She shook her head, which made me angry. How dare she deny who I was? Or had I gotten her name wrong somehow? This was very confusing. Doctor snapped his fingers. Could I do that? That looked like fun! I had fingers! I looked from his to mine, unsure how to make the trick work. He pointed at himself, then Nurse, then me.
“Reginald. Gracie. Mary.”
That... a glimpse of something similar flashed through my mind, of many days answering to something that sounded so close, but not quite that word. Of syllables I could not completely recall, uttered by my... father? I had a father? A parent? What was that? Someone to live with? No, I couldn't get side tracked, this was important! This name thing alone was confusing enough! I started a new round of pointing.
“Gracie. Reg. Mary.”
Even I knew I did not call him Reginald. He would get mad. Gracie's voice held a tone of wonder.
“I think she remembers you, doctor.”
There it was again, was he Reg, or was he doctor? Was he doctor Reg? That was it, wasn't it? They were greedy, and had two names! I didn't really care all that much; the only thing that mattered is they were other 'selfs', and I wasn't alone anymore. But still, I tried to go along, otherwise they might leave me to the darkness again.
“Doctor Reg?”
He made a funny face, then sighed. I heard him mutter:
“And that's why I started insisting on my full name.”
Which didn't make any sense to me; he had been doing that from the beginning! Then he smiled at me and put his hand on my head.
“Can you walk? Come on, let's get you back to your room, away from this drafty old tower.”
I would go wherever they led.
Doctor Reg held out his hand, and after some hesitation placed my hand in his. That seemed to be the correct thing to do, because he nodded; but then he pulled at me.
“Mary, you really should let go of Gracie, so she can get up.”
I didn't want to.
“Warm.”
“Do you know what clothes are Mary?”
Clothes? No, I did not know what those are. I shook my head at Gracie, confused by the... question? Was that right?
“Clothes are these.' she took her coat in hand. 'and they help keep people warm.”
I knew what a coat was. Doctor Reg and Nurse Gracie were both wearing them. How could I not know what clothes were? They were the same thing! Why were there so many words for the same thing, anyway?
“And if you let me up, we can go to your room, and give you some clothes.”
I looked. I wasn't wearing any clothes. Maybe that was why I was cold? I nodded and let doctor Reg pull me up. Without nurse Gracie's warmth I started to cool. I didn't like that. Doctor Reg began pulling me to a door. The door was an opening that led other places, I remembered.
I fell of course. I felt little pain, but nurse Gracie rushed to my side.
“Mary, are you alright?”
I nodded., Then tried again. My body didn't want to work the way I wanted it to. I mean the legs worked, but they didn't seem to be listening to me or each other. Doctor Reg put his arm around me.
“One foot in front of the other Mary, not both at once. Watch nurse Gracie; that's right.”
With his support and an example (nurse Gracie walking very slowly for me, showing me every step in the process) I managed not to fall again. I was too thrilled at being able to just go somewhere else, on a whim, to be sad that I was so clumsy. After all, it was more complex than it looked!
The plain wooden door opened onto another sort of door, which slid open to reveal a small room. There was no other door, and I was confused by this, but I allowed myself to be led in just the same. The door slid closed again, and doctor Reg pushed something on a panel to the right of it. It lit up, and the room began to move!
The room itself was going places!
Enchanted, I moved closer to the panel. There were two round things on it, one was bright, and doctor Reg had pushed that one to make the room move. I pushed it again, and nothing happened. So I pushed the other one, and it got bright too. Nurse Gracie smiled at me, and I smiled back.
Doctor Reg shook his head and muttered something about “kids.” Did I do something wrong?
The room chimed, then stopped. Nurse Gracie got out first, with Doctor Reg pulling me out quickly. We were in another place; the door slid shut again with another chime, and I hoped I'd be able to go back to the room that moved, but for now I was in a long hall with doors to either side.
So many places to go! So many places that were not self! Things to do! Doctor Reg spoke:
“That door leads to my room. That door leads to the library. And that door leads to nurse Gracie's room. And the door next to it, leads to your room Mary.”
There were many more doors in the hall before it turned to the right, but it seemed I wouldn't get to hear what was beyond them. I was sad about that. But doctor Reg opened the door on my room, and I saw immediately, the same space I remembered from before, with the dolls and toys and window from which I watched the traitorous moon.
It was up there again, hanging there as if it had every right to be there, after the trick it pulled on me. There was no music. I frowned and stumbled to the stereo like device, pulling doctor Reg along. I didn't want the music to desert me too! I wanted to have it all! I didn't care if that was greedy.
I paid careful attention as he pushed the red glowing... button. Yes, that was what it was called. The device clicked, made whirring noises, and a familiar song began to play. I tracked the sound to four small but loud speakers bolted to the corners of the room, and the bass speaker under the device. 'sing sing sing, by Benny Goodman' my mind supplied. I wanted to dance, but I could barely stand, so I settled for grinning madly.
Nurse Gracie was searching some sort of cabinet large enough to walk in. She muttered things I could not hear over the music, but I clearly understood the words:
“Didn't you bother updating this, doctor? Some of these clothes seem to be from the days of hair bands.”
What was a hair band? Was that like Kiss? Wait, what was Kiss? I almost missed his response as I opened the top of the cabinet the device was in and found... was that a television? It looked so small! With a bunch of miniature records in plastic cases place in cubby's to either side of it.
“Well It just didn't seem important after the first few years.”
“Men. Mad scientist types' she eyed me rather piercingly. 'she's going to have enough trouble as it is without walking around in clothes twenty years out of date.”
Her stare made me sad. Then she was there, putting something over my head. It wasn't a coat, but it was long, and had places for my arms to fit into.
“There, no more free show for 'Doctor Reg.'”
Her tone implied laughter, so I smiled again. She wasn't rejecting me after all.
“I notice you updated the television.”
Doctor Reg's eyes got wide a moment. Curious, I tried to widen my eyes too. It seemed to work.
“Well, can't have her waking up to some CRT monstrosity. I went with the LCD a while back.”
Nurse Gracie made a tsking noise. Curious about that too, I tried to imitate it. That one didn't work too well.
“You know, you could have just asked me, I mean I do live here, you know. I dust the place every week. It wouldn't have been a problem to keep her closet up to date.”
Doctor Reg muttered something again. I didn't catch that phrase either; instead I widened my eyes again.
“Whatever you old skinflint; It's not your money anyway, and I'll go tomorrow.”
I noticed a problem. The clothes were not warm. Nurse Gracie had said they would be but I was still cold. I quit staring at the television (which couldn't really be a television, after all it just wasn't big enough) and walked (or stumbled) over to nurse Gracie.
“No warm.”
That wasn't quite right, and I knew it. She looked over, and I looked up into her eyes, plucking on my clothes.
“No warm?”
“Oh, I'm sorry Mary, it will warm up in just a little bit. It will trap your body heat.. ' She steadied me with one hand while reaching down to my head. 'which of course you don't have. I should have known. Alright then, it's time to get some heat in here.”
Doctor Reg did the wide eyed face again.
“But it's August!”
Nurse Gracie whirled around so fast I almost ran into her; luckily the hand she was using to steady me with didn't move much. I wanted to see her face but I couldn't. Her voice sounded scary though; a bit growly.
“She's cold, Reginald. Your friend, the focus of your entire life, is awake and cold.”
Doctor Reg ran a hand through his hair and blew out air. I mimicked him, and he smiled at me. I'd done it right! I smiled back.
“Alright, it's a bit too early to be turning the heat on, but I'll start a fire in the fireplace. We'll just have to keep her away from it.”
“You think it'll be a problem?”
“She's essentially a kid again. I can see it cropping up, along with hot pans and looking both ways before crossing the street. Especially looking both ways before crossing the street.”
And then he was gone, out the door. I wanted to follow, but nurse Gracie stopped me.
“Don't worry, he will be back. He's just going to get some things to help you feel warm.”
They were both so nice to me. I wasn't even mad that nurse Gracie had been wrong about the clothes.
“So... do you recognize anything?”
Recognition was the identifying of something previously known or seen. Nurse Gracie wanted to know what I knew was mine. I pointed immediately to the Commander Zap.
“Zap.”
“You don't recognize anything else? Look around.”
I looked. I saw nothing I recognized, so I shook my head. Doctor Reg came back with his arms filled with wood. Nurse Gracie gave him an odd look.
He said with... something in his voice:
“I didn't want to turn the gas on without the lines being checked first.”
“When was the last time you used them?”
“Only last year, but no reason to take chances now.”
He piled the wood up and squirted it with something, then pulled out a long match and lit it. The result was captivating. Brightness was pouring from the wood, raising itself high. And the heat! The delicious waves of warmth were immediate. Doctor Reg put some sort of screen in the way before I could get close enough.
“Mary, no. That's fire, and it can hurt you if you get close enough.”
I stared at him. How could such light and warmth ever hurt me? Nurse Gracie took over.
“I've seen that look before. Mary, just trust us; and don't get too lose to the fire; it can... eat your body, and then you won't have one.”
I got as far away from the fire as I could get.
“Mary, it's OK, I didn't mean to upset you. Just stay behind the screen and it's perfectly safe.”
She stood in front of the fireplace and made motions with her hands. Doctor Reg joined her, holding his hands towards the brightness.
“I admit, it is a bit cold in here. It really shouldn't be.”
“You bought a castle, moved it stone by stone to America, and reconstructed it... and expected it not to have a castle's problems? Castles are always cold drafty things... or so I'm told.”
“It couldn't be helped; proper decorum and protocols had to be followed. Therefore the experiments demanded a castle.”
Nurse Gracie shook her head with an exhalation. I mimicked her.
“A drafty castle in the butt end of nowhere, with only the barest of amenities and equipment, is the last place you should be doing your experiments. Especially now that they have succeeded.”
“In part, at least.”
What was an experiment?
“Whaa..?”
They both turned to me, and I felt something I did not like.
“Go ahead Mary.”
I tried again, but it all went wrong when my face did not work right! I felt my mouth stretching and a sound like the one nurse Gracie made earlier come out.
“Oh, you're tired? Come on then, let's get you to bed.”
The bed was right there. I pointed to it.
“Yes, I think you're tired Mary. I know I am, and the doctor probably is. You should climb in the bed, and we can pick all this up in the morning.”
They wanted me to go back to the darkness.
“No.”
“Mary, what's wrong?”
How could I explain the cloying darkness, the mind numbing fear of nothing. The loss of self which even now meant I was less than I was. I couldn't ever go back to that pitch black, and crushing loneliness again!
“No. Darkness.”
Well that was a good start. I hoped. Nurse Gracie cocked her head.
“Darkness? What darkness?”
“Did you forget the lights Gracie?”
“No, not even once. She never spent a night in the dark.”
Doctor Reg looked angry.
“Good, because the last maid that left her in the dark regretted it.”
I made a noise. They didn't understand!
“No! No!”
How could I make them... oh I have it!
I put my hands over my eyes.
“No. Darkness.”
“Um, Gracie, did you understand that?”
“I think I did doctor. I don't think she wants to sleep.”
I nodded so hard I fell over.
“Well I suppose she doesn't have to if she doesn't want to....”
“Doctor, that's pretty irresponsible. One of us will have to stay with her; she could hurt herself or something. Or what if Fido woke up and she was outside her room?”
Doctor Reg put his hand on his chin. That seemed like a fine thing to do, so I did it too.
“A valid point, nurse Gracie. One of us will have to stay with Mary so she doesn't do something unfortunate. I think you just volunteered for overtime.”
Nurse Gracie looked over at my nodding, so I smiled.
“Now wait just a minute, doctor....”
“Unless you'd rather I stay with Mary, all alone.”
She turned back to the doctor very quickly. I tried to imitate that, but fell down.
“That's a pretty low blow doctor. Really low.”
He raised an eyebrow. I wasn't sure I had eyebrows, so I checked. Yep, they were there. I couldn't raise just one though. Moving things was hard!
“Alright, alright. Say, Mary, do you remember how to read? Do you remember what books are?”
I did not.
“What are you doing on the floor, Mary?”
“Fell.”
She helped me up.
“Well on that shelf there are books, you climb into bed and I'll go get one, and then I'll read it to you.”
Hmm. I carefully climbed onto the bed, but waited until nurse Gracie returned with a book. Then I placed myself on her much as I had before. I smiled at her, hoping she would smile back like last time.
“Warm.”
Doctor Reg made funny noises.
“Laugh it up doctor. Care to help me out here? She's stronger than she looks.”
“Oh no, nurse. I feel you have the situation well in hand. Unless you'd rather I be the one to stay with Mary, her body draped over mine....”
“Enough, no it's fine. Pig.”
What was a pig? I thought Doctor Reg was a doctor?
“Mary, if you aren't gentle, I'll get hurt. Then I won't be able to stay.”
I let go in a hurry, only laying there.
“That's better. Now I need my hands to read, so you'll need to let me move.”
I made sure I let her arms go. She covered us both with more clothes.
“Good night, Gracie, Mary.”
“Good night doctor.”
I wasn't sure how to say that, or what it meant, but I could smile, so I did. Doctor Reg left.
“No!”
“Mary, it's OK! He'll be back. We won't always be able to stay here all the time, but you won't have to be alone if you don't want to.”
I didn't want either of them to leave, ever. But Nurse Gracie was staying, and she said doctor Reg would be back. I loosened up again.
“Alright, now let's hear the tale of the cat in the hat, shall we?”
I drifted somewhere during the third story; they were wonderful, about other selves in other places... but for some reason I couldn't stay there.
I would have said it was the little darkness of before, but I wasn't alone. Nurse Gracie's presence had followed me there, and it was warm.
I came out of a comforting darkness to the bright warm light. I was not alone; nurse Gracie was there, under me; a comforting warm presence making strange sounds. They sounded almost like growling, but she was still in the darkness herself, so it couldn't be that.
However, she was still in the darkness, so I resolved to stay there, so she would not be alone in it. I remembered to be gentle, even when she moved a little. I did want to explore, to find Doctor Reg... but this was more important.
I didn't have to wait too long... at least I don't think I did.
“Gurgle... snerk....”
Nurse Gracie's eyes opened directly into mine, our noses touching. I smiled, happy now that she was finally out of the darkness, so I could explore. This did not seem to be the right reaction.
“Gahhh!”
She bounced her head off the top of the bed, shoving at me at the same time. While I was gentle, I wasn't about to move. Something in the darkness had scared her!
“The darkness?”
The books nurse Gracie had read before we succumbed last night had proven useful. From the cat in the hat to the sidewalk ending, they all used words like 'the' and 'and'. I knew I wasn't saying things right yet, but I was getting better. I would try harder today.
Nurse Gracie sat up, moving me.
“You can let go now Mary. We need to get up and face the day.”
Now that she was safe, I let go. How did someone face a day? Wasn't it all around?
“First thing is first Mary; we need to shower and get clean clothes. I used to give you baths before, but I think now we can let you do that on your own.”
She looked at me and I smiled.
“Well, mostly on your own. You stay here for now, OK? I need to get some of my clothes. I won't be gone long at all, then I'll teach you how to shower.”
I wasn't happy, but I waited. It was bright, there were things everywhere, and we were safe. To pass the time I explored more. The shelf full of dolls had soft things too, that I was sure I could hug without breaking them. So I picked one, a long eared creature, and tried.
It shrank under my hands, but grew again when I let it go. It did not break. It also had lines like the ones on my arms across it's face, arms, and legs. And it had a nice smile. It wore clothes like mine. I checked... I didn't have the long ears or the short tail either, so it was different after all.
“Found Stitch the rabbit, have you?”
Stitch the rabbit? What was that?
“Stitch the rabbit?”
“Yep, Stitch is her name, and a rabbit is what type of animal she is. Like we are humans, she is a rabbit. That's why she's different. Rabbits have long ears, large teeth, fur, and they hop around to move. The doc picked her up because she looked a bit like you, I guess. You can ask him when he gets up.”
Gets up? What was getting up?
“Now don't you worry about the doc, Mary. He'll be just fine. But we have to get clean before he gets up, otherwise he will try something nasty. And that won't be any fun for anyone.”
I remembered fun. That word evoked all kinds of fleeting sensations, or water, and sunshine, and laughter. It was an action which provided mirth. I couldn't really remember what the activities that led to the fun were, but I knew it was out there in many forms, and I'd discovered one last night.
Listening to nurse Gracie read had been fun.
“Come on Mary, you can take Stitch if you like. She's never had a bath either, and she's waterproof.”
Nurse Gracie took my hand and led me out of my room, and down the hall past the room designated as mine. Two doors over, she opened one. It led to a room smaller than mine, with a cold floor made of some form of white brick.
One section of the floor had a small wall with cloth in front of it. The other side had a table running the length of the room with indentations in it, two of them. There were... protrusions in front of those. Pipes? Something...
Nurse Gracie saw my look and turned something attached to the depression. Water came out of the pipe. At least I think it was water... it was clear like it. She turned the thing again and it stopped.
“Alright, now how we take a shower is first we undress.”
I dutifully took off my clothes as nurse Gracie did the same. She had more clothes than I, so it took her longer. Once done, she once again took my hand.
“Now we get into the bathtub.”
She took my hand again, and led me past the small wall. The floor and wall here were all the same thing. She then pulled the clothes for the 'bathtub' across so we couldn't see the room anymore. I watched as she did something to another thing like the first, and a pipe over our head start dripping water on us.
“Brr, too cold!”
Nurse Gracie kept playing with the... gear? And the water got warm. Then more than warm. Nurse Gracie turned to me with a smile.
“Much better. It's not too hot or anything is it? I like hot showers.”
It wasn't. I shook my head. I hadn't known water could be a source of warmth! Or had I? Was it another thing I had lost? It seemed to me that maybe I had... it seemed a simple thing to know. Those pipes couldn't be magic, could they?
The water felt so good across my body. Such a simple thing, but so wonderful. Though it seemed to do weird things too; I felt less... tense. I think that was right.
“Alright, now that the water is adjusted properly, we take our washcloth' she handed me a grey strip of clothes 'and wet it down with water, then take our soap here.”
She handed me a small brick of something that smelled very nice. The she took her small clothes and wrapped the brick in it, and moved it around. I did the same, and was rewarded with some sort of froth on my clothes. I looked, and it matched hers.
“Then we rub our bodies down with the washcloth, very gently, so the soap gets on us, and wipes all the dirt away.”
She started rubbing, watching me. So I started rubbing. It felt rather nice.
“That's right, just as gently as you held me last night. Almost no pressure at all.”
I started over, even more slow and gentle. I had to ask though.
“Not pain?”
“No Mary, you aren't supposed to feel pain doing this. Not even a little.”
I nodded, more to myself than to nurse Gracie. I had been right in my idea. Nurse Gracie did not like pain, so of course if she did something it wouldn't be to feel it. Feel is a good word to remember, I think. Nurse Gracie stopped me from rubbing my head though.
“Only your face for now... the front part. The top and back of your head are a different step. Well and your ears, but I think I need to show you where those are.”
She was right, I didn't know where ears were. Or even what they were. After I finished, I removed the clothes of, and rubbed down Stitch the rabbit too.
“Next step is hair. We take the shampoo here.' she held up a bottle of blue liquid. 'we put enough into our hand to coat our palm, like this, then we rub it into our hair, like so.”
I watched her as she rubbed the liquid into her head and the strings she called hair. So that was what it was. I wondered briefly why it was there. No doubt it served some purpose. I pondered as the expected froth appeared in her hair.
Nurse Gracie and I were the same in many general ways. We both had two arms, two legs, and a head. She had a protrusion on her face: I checked, I had one too. She was taller than I was, with lighter hair. She was bigger than I was in every way, but somehow I knew she wasn't fat. She had curious lighter patches on her, places where her skin was brighter than seemed normal for her. She also did not have strings in her limbs, like I did.
I had strings in my arms and legs, and in my um, main part. I even had them in my hands. They seemed to close up borders of me that were lined with black. I had lighter skin than nurse Gracie, but no patches. What I did have was faint lines of black visible, winding their way through me. Perhaps the same black that seemed to be holding parts of me together?
“Noticed, huh Mary? Yeah we both look different. I'll show you once we get done here if you want.”
Why did she seem sad? I nodded, I was curious. I found out all about curiosity last night; it was emotion, and I felt it about everything around me. That and it killed cats. I wanted to stop it from killing cats, that didn't seem nice at all. But in order to do that, I had to know my enemy.
She finished washing her head and rinsed the froth out of her hair, and I started my own. Nurse Gracie ended up helping me, and showing me where my ears were. Then I did Stitch the rabbit's head. With our first shower (named after a rain shower maybe?) done, nurse Gracie pulled out a bigger clothes/washcloth and patted herself dry.
While I did that for myself and Stitch, she sat on a weird chair; I heard liquid dripping. It was coming from her! Had she taken too much water from the shower? It came from a small hole between her legs. I had the same kind of hole, was I supposed to leak like that too? If so, why wasn't I? She saw my look.
“Perfectly normal thing Mary. And no, you probably won't need to. You're a little different.”
She dried that area off again with an even smaller clothes she ripped from some sort of bin to the side of the chair, and then clicked another gear thing, that caused all the liquid in the chair to vanish. I was entranced again. Where had it gone? Then it filled up again!
“No, you shouldn't stick your hand in the toilet Mary.”
“But....”
“The water went down the hole, yes. It's supposed to, and ends up in a big river underground. But hands and arms can't go down the hole Mary, and you just cleaned yourself. It wouldn't do to get dirty again, and the toilet is filthy.”
The chair (toilet?) looked clean to me, but nurse Gracie knew more, so I deferred to her wisdom. Stitches the rabbit did not seem to need to make water either, as she had no hole for it. For that matter, if my hole wasn't used for that, what was it used for?
“That's not a very nice or polite thing to do Mary. When you're around other people, even just me, you're in public, and it's not a good thing to touch yourself that way in public. Now watch, we need to put on our clothes.”
I stopped, and watched. This interacting with other selfs was hard. They had so many rules!
Clothes called panties went on first, right over the area with the hole. Then a piece called a bra went on next; hooked around my 'waist' then pulled up. Then there was another dress. Nurse Gracie called it a 'sundress', but I saw no sun in it. Then came foot coverings called 'socks' and 'shoes'. Apparently these clothes protected feet from damage. Nurse Gracie said so, and I had no reason to doubt her so far.
The clothes nurse Gracie wore were different; where my dress was white, hers was black with a white piece in front. She wore larger socks that covered her legs, and a hat. I knew all about hats from the cat last night, and she was definitely in a hat. Her shoes were bigger, black, and hard, where mine were gray and soft.
“Alright Mary, I'm going to show you yourself, as I promised.”
She pulled me in front of a wall, then moved a panel and there we were. Rather, Nurse Gracie was there in both places, and someone who had to be me was there with her.
The person had hair so black it was blue, or so blue it was black, with some white on either side of her face. Like the rest of her, her face was smaller than Gracie; I pointed to my face protrusion, and the person did the same. It WAS me! There were two of me somehow!
“That's your nose.”
I pointed lower.
“That's your mouth.”
I moved my hair a bit, and there were my ears; looking just as weird as they felt. I knew what eyes were, and while nurse Gracie's eye was blue, mine were a dark yellow, and had more of those lines in them. I didn't have clothes for one of my eyes like she did.
In fact, my face continued the line trend, showing it's own share of the same dark lines. It also had more of those lines of string; one line per side, and they weren't in the exact same place; I don't know why, but that bothered me a little. I touched one.
“Those are stitches. Like what your Stitches the rabbit is named after.”
The other I's eyes widened. They were stitches! Like Stitches the rabbit had! And like Stitches the rabbit, they had the same function... they were to keep me together! I had been right!
“Stitches!”
When I spoke, my mouth moved. I could see things within.
“Those are teeth.”
I grabbed something in there.
“That's your tongue, you use it to talk.”
I let it go.
“Teeth for...?”
“Eating. Most people need to eat to survive. We aren't sure if you do yet.”
Why did she look so... uneasy?
I didn't want to eat anything. After all, eating was like fire... if I eat a thing, it'll be gone, won't it? If it's gone, it will never exist again, right? Causing anything to simply not be anymore was an idea so abhorrent to me I couldn't express it.
Nurse Gracie had to grab my hand to snap me out of it. She had a weird look, and started to lead me down the hall. I had to try.
“Won't.”
“You won't what Mary?”
“Mary won't eat.”
“The correct term when referring to yourself is 'I'. And why won't you eat?”
“Eating is bad.”
“....what? Mary, what do you....”
A new voice interrupted nurse Gracie.
“If she won't eat, does that mean I can eat her? She smells really tasty.”
Nurse Gracie put her face in her hands while I looked around for the source.
“Just perfect, all I need right now. Go away, Fido.”
The aforementioned Fido dropped... from the ceiling. He was on four legs, all patches of scabrous fur and diseased looking skin. He had a long face, mostly mouth filled with long sharp teeth that seemed too big for him. His eyes, dark and shot through with red lines, did not seem to look the same direction. Fido was a... dog?
“You know you can't eat her Fido, she's off limits. Expressly forbidden by the doc himself.”
“But I get to eat all the doc's experiments eventually.”
“Not this one, and you know it.”
“Sigh. She smells so wonderful too. Barely even dead at all!”
I wasn't sure I followed this discussion, but he wanted to eat me. So he must be a bad dog. I resolved to stay away from him, which of course meant I had to keep nurse Gracie away from him too, since she was holding on to me.
“Come on Mary, we have to get to the kitchen and start breakfast; don't worry about Fido, he won't eat you.”
Fido gave a rather strange grin.
“Come on Mary, he won't hurt us.”
Nurse Gracie pulled me past Fido, who stepped aside to let us pass. Then he started following.
“Alright, so tell me Mary, why is eating bad? Almost everyone has to eat something to live.”
How to explain this?
“If you eat, it's gone. Fire eats, and Mary is gone. So eating is bad.”
Nurse Gracie nodded slowly.
“That does make a certain amount of sense, given what you know.”
Fido, that jerk, just laughed.
“Oh, kiddo, you are precious.”
“Alright, to start with, fire is indiscriminate; it eats anything it can. Living creatures can be more choosy. For example, we are going to the kitchen to cook breakfast for myself and doctor Reginald. We won't be eating anything alive.”
“Just a few things that used to be alive.”
“Shut up Fido, you aren't helping. Yes Mary, some of the things we eat were alive. But they aren't anymore when we eat them... hmm, how to put this. I know! The things we eat have no self in them. They are things that are not people in any way.”
Well that was something, but I still wasn't sure I approved. Nurse Gracie swept open a door then let my hand go.
“Anyway this is the kitchen. Shut the door please, while I get started.”
Fido walked in faster than I could shut the door, so I settled for watching him. And of course, inching away slowly. Then I noticed. He had stitches too! I still had Stitches the rabbit. We were all similar!
“Fido has stitches.”
Nurse Gracie was in buried in another door; some sort of cabinet. She began taking things out of it.
“Yes he does. He is like you that way. For that matter, many things around here are like you in that way.”
“Nurse Gracie doesn't.”
Fido spoke up again.
“Ha. Nurse Gracie, is it?”
“Sure... I am trained as a nurse, and I am her nurse after all.”
“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Gracie.”
How would being a nurse help nurse Gracie sleep at night? What was sleeping at night? I wasn't sure what was going on! Fido had a smile, but it didn't seem like a nice smile, and nurse Gracie's own smile seemed less happy somehow than earlier.
“Good morning.”
Doctor Reg!
“Doctor Reg!”
“Mary! Ouch! Not so hard please. Good morning, did you sleep well?”
He turned to nurse Gracie.
“Did she sleep well?”
There it was again, this sleep thing. Nurse Gracie nodded.
“We both did actually, though it took her a while to go under; she resisted it for a good hour. Once she understood the rules she was very careful about following them.”
Fido chimed in again.
“What's this, the princess has been awake since yesterday and no one bothered to inform me? The princess was sleeping? With Gracie? How does that even work? What gives, doc?”
Doctor Reg sat down at the table as nurse Gracie got out some metal containers and put them on a cabinet with fire in it. She then put the things she got our of the first cabinet in the containers on the second. She was very close to the fire.
“Doctor Reg, fire.”
“It's alright Mary, nurse Gracie knows what she is doing.”
I turned to Fido, still with his grin. I hadn't forgotten what he said!
“Who is princess?”
“Why you are, princess.”
I shook my head. That wasn't my name! I pointed to self.
“Mary.”
Doctor Reg gave Fido a look. I don't think it was a nice look, but I can't be sure.
“Yes Fido, her name is Mary. Calling her anything other than her name may confuse her, at least for now. Antagonizing her may earn you a spot in the Kennel. I expect you and Mary to be good friends, with all the things that implies. And no eating her, any part, for any reason.”
I smiled. Doctor Reg was on my side!
“Gotcha doc, I'll play nice. But you've got to help me out here, her smell alone is killing me! Again....”
“I'll see what I can do.”
I had another question, now that the important eating one was resolved.
“What sleep?”
Nurse Gracie corrected me, while still doing weird things.
“What is sleep, Mary. That's what you mean to say.”
I beamed at her. I'd forgotten that word.
“Sleep is that activity that is a lack of activity.”
Nurse Gracie turned to doctor Reg and gave him another look I couldn't read.
“That explanation was clear as mud, doctor. What doctor Reg means to say, is sleep is a word for the darkness we both were in last night, after we closed our eyes.”
Sleep was another enemy then, and far more dangerous than curiosity.
“how was she last night? She didn't... do anything?”
“No, she was very well behaved. She was just distraught. With me there, she settled right off. How did you sleep Mary? You didn't seem afraid.”
I wasn't.
“Nurse Gracie was with Mary. So Mary was happy.”
Fido muttered something about sugar I did not quite hear. Which made me wonder what sugar was.
“As for why Mary needed sleep, I'm not sure. It indicates she does at least have some biological processes, which validates my work thus far.”
Fido looked intent.
“So, she's a success?”
Doctor Reg answered, equally intent.
“Absolutely. Mary is unequivocally a success.”
What was unequiv – that word?
“Darn. OK doc, you made your point. So what can a growing puppy get to eat around here?”
“It's almost done, just relax.”
“Smells wonderful as usual, Gracie.”
“Thank you doctor.”
I had to tell doctor Reg about my earlier conclusion.
“Eating is bad.”
I smiled; this time I hadn't forgotten a word! I was pretty sure I'd used it correctly. Fido was not impressed.
“You still on about that?”
Doctor Reg spoke before I could ask what 'on about' meant.
“What do you mean, Mary?”
Nurse Gracie put a plate down in front of doctor Reg; it was filled with nice smelling things.
“Fire eats, remember doctor? Eats and then those things are gone? Well Mary remembers.”
Doctor Reg made a face.
“Alright, alright, I'll handle it. Come here Mary.”
He got up, so I followed. He opened the cabinet nurse Gracie had been in earlier, and removed a small box.
“These are eggs. They are cooked, like the ones on my plate.”
He opened the box, and some small things that weren't quite round greeted my vision.
“Can you tell me how many there are?”
I thought. There were more than one, but the box wasn't full. Counting was something dimly remembered, but how to count wasn't entirely clear anymore. So I took a guess.
“Eight?”
“Close Mary, there are six left. And when we are done eating those, there will be another box. See the other box?”
He pointed, and I nodded.
“We will never run out of eggs in the world Mary, there are always more. When we run out here, we can always go to a store for new ones. The same is true for everything in here. The eggs, the milk, the bacon, the beef...”
“Meats might be considered a slightly different case, doctor.”
“Shh, Gracie, I'm handling it. The point it, Mary, that we never eat anything that there isn't more of. There is only one you in the entire world, and only one me or Gracie. Which would be why eating us is bad; we could never be replaced. Do you understand?”
I nodded, solemn. It made a lot of sense. But it also raised another question. I pointed to Fido.
“Fido?”
The doctor grinned like Fido did.
“Oh he's replaceable, I think I could make another one, but the problem is he'd taste bad so no one would want to.”
“Har de har har, doc.”
Wait, what was that word? Taste? What was that?
“What is taste?”
Doctor Reg looked odd for a second.
“Taste is another sense. It's kind of like touch. It's the fifth. You do it with your mouth and tongue.”
I tasted nurse Gracie. She tasted good. Very good. She backed away, making it hard. So I followed.
“Doctor....”
“Relax Gracie, she's only licking you. She's anti eating, remember?”
“Right, right sorry. It's just that after last time, I'm kind of leery of another Romero incident.”
“You taste good. Tasting is nice.”
“Um, thanks, I think.”
I went to taste doctor Reg. He didn't move, and let me. He tasted stale somehow, dirty.
“You taste bad, doctor Reg.”
I went to taste Fido. But his words stopped me.
“Sorry kiddo, you really shouldn't taste me, I'll taste worse than the doc, easily.”
“Ick.”
“Yeah right, Mary. Ick indeed.”
Doctor Reg got something out of the fridge; it was a small thin glass filled with something dark.
“Here Mary, taste this.”
“Doctor....”
“Relax Gracie, she had some before, remember? There should be no difference between injection and ingestion.”
“But we're heading into the Romero zone here....”
What was Romero, and what was a zone?
“Here Mary, drink this.”
Doctor Reg popped the top out of the tiny glass and handed it to me. I put it in my mouth.
“No, don't chew it! Just tilt your head back, that's it. Now let me have the test tube back, that's right.”
I let him take the small glass back. Apparently I wasn't supposed to taste it all, just the liquid inside.
“Did she...?”
“No, she didn't break it. Her mouth shouldn't be damaged.”
The liquid was salty, heavy tasting, and had a faint tang of metal. It was glorious. It tasted way better than even nurse Gracie! Food was amazing! There was only one word for such a treat!
“Good!”
I grinned. Doctor Reg looked happy, but for some reason nurse Gracie did not. She turned to her own plate.
“More?”
“Sure, that can be arranged.”
“Doctor, are you sure that's a good idea?”
It worked in conjunction with the electricity last time, and she's had to have run out by now. After all we only injected a pint.”
My lower body made a growling noise. It was loud and sounded angry. Nurse Gracie jumped, looking very uneasy.
“See? She's just hungry.”
Nurse Gracie started picking at the things on her plate. She looked sad. Why was she sad? I decided to take a guess. After all, it had been so good.
“Mary will share.”
She looked even worse, if anything.
“Oh Mary, I can't eat what you do. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be so startled. Let me finish mine, and we'll get you all fixed up, alright?”
I nodded and sat down to wait as nurse Gracie and doctor Reg ate. Doctor Reg tried to get me to eat some of his, but it didn't smell as good as what he gave me from the cold cabinet, so I decided to wait. Nurse Gracie finished, then doctor Reg did, and he drank some brown liquid while nurse Gracie took the dishes and put them into a depression like the ones in the bathroom. What was she doing?
“What?”
“Oh, Mary, I'm doing the dishes. I clean them with soap too, just like cleaning us. That way they are clean for the next time.”
She even washed my small glass, after everything else. Fido did not eat anything, he just watched us with his grin.
“Alright, so let's get Mary's stomach taken care of, and then we can see about doing interesting things all day.”
I cheered. Fido woofed. Nurse Gracie gave a smile.
“OK so Mary, in order to get your food I need to go to the cellar lab. You can come with me, or you can help nurse Gracie clean the house. Which do you want to do?”
Food or helping nurse Gracie? Wait, if I went with nurse Gracie I'd get both, right? I ran over to her, only stumbling once.
“Nurse Gracie!”
“Alright kiddo, let's start right away then. This drafty old castle is a big place.”
“Alright, you made a good choice Mary, I'll see you soon.”
When doctor Reg got up to leave, Fido followed him.
“Alright Mary, now let's get started. This' she pulled out some sort of weird puffy stick ' is a feather duster. This one is clean, and what you do with it is, you gently rub it over all the exposed surfaces in a room to remove all the dust build up. We will start in your room to give you an idea of what cleaning entails.”
Cleaning has tails? And when did we use soap on the rooms?
Cleaning my room seemed to be simple. I would dust, and nurse Gracie would sweep with a long puffy stick (longer than mine) called a broom. I guessed to get the dust on the floor. Then she would plug in a machine called a 'vacuum' to remove the dust from the slightly warmer clothes the floor wore called a 'rug'. I briefly wondered why clothes worked for the floor, but not me.
I only had a few accidents with the duster; nurse Gracie was kind enough to show me how to use the feather duster, lightly holding my hand and running me through the motions, and the strength involved. Luckily I did not break anything; I'd have felt bad if I had. Putting a line in miss Callie's face (a 'doll', not a 'plushie', I was told) was bad enough!
So my accidents were more knocking things around after that, and by the time we got out of my room I resolved to be even more gentle!
The next room we went to was the library; it was a home for books, and there were so many! I couldn't wait till I could read them all! We were cleaning up there, nurse Gracie with her 'broom' and me with my feather duster, when doctor Reg found us again.
He had brought an entire bag of the red stuff with him, with something sticking out of it.
“Here you go Mary, be careful, OK?”
I took the bag, it was warm. I knew somehow if I squeezed to hard it would throw the stuff everywhere and make a mess, so I held it from the bottom. It was warm.
“Alright, this' he pointed to the thing sticking out of the bag 'is a straw. To you close your mouth around it, and act like you're going to talk to get it to work. You don't actually talk though, you just keep acting like it. An if you need to you stop and take a break. Watch me, OK?”
I nodded, and he took a small bag of his own with bright colors on it and put a 'straw' into it. Then he put his mouth to it and his chest and face expanded. He stopped, and then spoke again.
“Now you try.”
Nurse Gracie made a noise as I put the straw to my mouth. I managed to do it, but then I felt full and couldn't do it anymore. It felt almost like it wanted to come back up, but I wouldn't let it, it was too good for that! Even better warm than cold!
I couldn't stop a little bit of it coming out though; the stuff that was in my mouth at the time.
“Just great, I knew it. Drinking it would be much less messy.”
Now Nurse Gracie was mad.
“Only until she gets used to the straw. This way will be much easier in the long run.”
How could I make it up to her?
“Try again Mary. Take in less this time, then stop.”
I did so while nurse Gracie walked out. I couldn't talk, so I pointed at her.
“Oh she's just getting something to clean up the new mess. Don't worry she will be back.”
When I could talk again I had a question.
“Was Mary bad?”
I knew from the books last night that bad people did bad things, and made other people angry. I didn't want to do that.
“No Mary, you were not bad. You didn't do anything wrong; it was probably my fault in fact, for not having you try this in the kitchen or over a sink. I think if we both apologize, we will avoid the wrath of mount st Gracie with ease.”
Fido snorted.
“Yeah good luck with that, she still hasn't forgiven me for the pumpkins.”
Pumpkins?
“What is apologize? What is pumpkins?”
Doctor Reg got down so we were looking into each other.
“Apologizing is what you do to someone you feel you have wronged. Like now, you feel that you made nurse Gracie angry, even if you're not sure why?”
I nodded.
“Well when you feel like that, just like you do now, you say 'I'm sorry' to the other person. If they are a nice person, they will accept your words and not be angry anymore. Or at least as angry. Do you understand?”
I nodded again.
“Pumpkins?”
Doctor Reg looked uneasy now.
“A type of food, and also used for other things. I'll let nurse Gracie explain that one, alright?”
I nodded. Then looked at the floor, spattered with the red stuff. I wanted it. I was full, I think, at least the lower part of me wasn't making noises, but I still wanted it. Doctor Reg stopped me though.
“No, Mary. We don't eat things on the floor. If we did that, nurse Gracie would become much more angry at us than she is now. Only Fido is allowed.”
I looked at Fido.
“Sorry Mary, not my type of food. I appreciate the offer though – it warms the cockles of my cold dead heart.”
Cockle?
Just then nurse Gracie came back with a bucket filled with weird smelling water and soap. She had clothing for her hands, and was muttering things. I wanted to hug her, but I didn't want to cause her to drop her new supplies.
“Nurse Gracie! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry....”
“Hey relax Mary, take a breath! I forgive you, OK? Besides it wasn't your fault.”
As soon as she set her things down I took the chance, hugging her.
“Sheesh, lighten up a little, I can't breathe here. Besides, like I said, it's not your fault. I'm not mad at you.”
“Yes, I know, we should have done this in the kitchen, I'm sorry too.”
“Help?”
No Mary, you can't help me. You need gloves' she pointed at her hand clothes 'for this and I don't have any your size. This water can hurt you if you aren't careful, even with gloves. If you want to help, go back to dusting, please.”
I went back to dusting. After some time doctor Reg spoke to nurse Gracie, who was still cleaning the floor.
“So M is interesting.”
“Oh? The sensors are actually working?”
“Of course, and we have full data feeds recorded starting from the event onward. Full scans too, with environmental variance within acceptable levels. The chip is working too. Seems there was a doubling of M's mass from the first jolt to last night. It seems electricity was the key after all.”
“But why? That doesn't make any sense.”
Who was 'M'? Well it wasn't me, I was Mary. So they must be talking about another self that I didn't know of yet.
“It makes perfect sense. With M being dead, there were no mitochondria. No cells producing power. Some power was coming from the fresh plasma, and no doubt continues too, but that doesn't last. The real power came from, well, power. While the mass growth came from the conversion of plasma to active cells.”
“So it really was just as you theorized.”
“You don't have to make that sound so unusual you know, I'm right very often!”
I could see nurse Gracie roll her eye clearly from where I was standing. That looked kind of fun, but I would try later. I was helping now.
“Suuuure you are. So how long do you think M will be fooled by this ruse?”
“Couldn't say, it could be some time, or tomorrow. That M is a sharp one.”
“Well, I need to go into town after we finish up here. The day is marching on, and I'd like to be back before dark, so the usual routine will have to suffer an interruption or two.”
“I don't mind. Clothes and what else?”
“Think we should stock up on food too, We can't keep Mary indoors forever, and once we let her out everything’s going to start. I also think we should call the geezers. Not only do we owe them a call, it might be good cover later.”
“I agree with all that, it's just annoying dealing with their interference. You sure you won't take protection?”
“I'll be seen as a threat if I do. I'm just barely tolerated in town now, showing up with protection will make me a threat.”
“Alright, well be careful. I'm off to the lab again. Be good Mary, I'll be back later, alright?”
That last bit was directed at me. I didn't want doctor Reg to leave again, but he seemed to leave a lot, and he always came back. He gestured with his hand at me, and I caught on and mimicked it. He smiled and left.
“Dust Mary, we have to finish all these shelves soon! Remember to be careful!”
I dusted.
The feather duster did not taste good. The broom didn't either. I added those two to my growing list of tastes when nurse Gracie had her back turned. She had already told me not to taste the books. But what she didn't see, she couldn't tell me not to do.
“Alright Mary, we're done in here. I need to go into town, so we're going to find Randolph. Would you like to meet a new friend?”
I nodded and almost fell down from it again. The more selfs other than I, the better!
Randolph lived a few doors down from the library. Nurse Gracie knocked and waited. A muffled voice came from the other side, sounding deep, like doctor Reg, but not quite.
“It's open.”
But it wasn't open, the door was closed! This Randolph person was weird!
Nurse Gracie went in, leaving it open. I shrugged and knocked on the door. This time the voice was clear and loud.
“Come in!”
I came into a dimly lit chamber, more dim than the other rooms I'd seen in the daytime. Day time had been explained to me by nurse Gracie as we worked; it was the time when the Sun was in the sky. Randolph was in his bed, and he was wrapped up in clothes from his head to his feet.
Not the clothes I was used to either, they were strips that covered all but his brown eyes and black hair. They were colored red in places, and were on under the types of clothes I was used to; Black 'bottom clothes and white top clothes He also had a coat hanging from a chair.
That's not fair, I wanted different color clothes too!
“Good morning!”
Nurse Gracie shook her head.
“No Mary, this late, with the sun shining from that direction, see it? This late it's good afternoon.”
OK. Why was it like that? No time for that now, I wanted to be nice.
“Good afternoon!”
“So this is our mysterious benefactor? Good afternoon, Mary was it?”
“Yes, Mary!”
“I'm Randolph. Pleased to meet you.”
He held his hand out. I looked at it, curious. What did he want?
“You shake his hand, Mary, like this.”
Nurse Gracie demonstrated, grabbing Randolph's hand and moving it up and down twice. I could do that.
“Now, gently Mary, Randolph isn't every strong.”
I did so, being extra careful. Once I got close, I could smell him. He smelled of some chemical and food.
“This is a traditional way of greeting someone when first meeting them. It's a polite thing to do... and we will cover being polite later, when I have the time.”
“She's fairly....”
Nurse Gracie interrupted what Randolph as going to say.
“No she isn't. She's just been asleep a long time. Longer than you've been alive. She has forgotten much, and needs to relearn. She's actually very smart.”
What was smart? And a more important question, why did Randolph talk differently?
“Randolph talks....”
“Yes, Mary, what is it?”
“Talks no like nurse Gracie!”
She looked at Randolph, who did not look nice at me.
“That's: 'Randolph does not talk like nurse Gracie', Mary. When Randolph and I do things differently, that is how you say it.”
“Yes, Mary, I have an accent.”
I took the chance to taste him, since he was still close. I still had his hand in mine, so it was easy.
“Mary, that's not polite!”
“What is she doing, Gracie?”
He tasted like something that made my tongue feel funny and, very faintly, of food. Or his clothes did, at any rate. I stopped because nurse Gracie didn't like it. I didn't want to make her mad at me, then she might leave me alone!
“She's tasting you. She just learned about taste this morning, and she's been trying to taste everything she can.”
I wondered what an accent was, and why it affected speech.
“... I'm sorry?”
Nurse Gracie shook her head, but smiled.
“It's alright Mary, but you can't just taste people. It isn't polite at all. And we will be talking about what being polite means when I get back. Randolph, I leave her in your capable hands. Be back soon, Mary.”
And nurse Gracie left to do things. I still wasn't sure where she was going. Somewhere else in the 'castle', perhaps? After all that was where doctor Reg went when he left.
“Hey, don't leave me alone with her!”
I looked at Randolph expectantly; I knew he was going to do something interesting, and I didn't want to miss any of it, whatever it was.
“So, um... Mary, you tasted me, what do I taste like?”
“a weird taste and food.”
He looked at me oddly.
“Food, huh? You aren't hungry are you?”
Hungry?
“What is Hungry?”
He put his head in his hands.
“Hungry is when you want food. Your tummy', he pointed at my lower half. 'makes noise sometimes.”
“Oh! Mary was hungry earlier then, but Mary is not now. Why?”
“It's nothing, nothing at all. So Mary, what do you like to do?”
Do? What did I like to do? Had I even done anything? What were the options? I looked around desperately, I didn't want to make my new friend mad at me either, and this seemed very important! I saw lots of dark furniture, a sort of mirror, with a stereo under it, a book, and not much else.
Wait, a book!
“Mary likes to read.”
He looked... surprised?
“Oh you do, do you? Well I do have some books handy, do you have a preference?”
What was a 'preference'?” Taking a chance, I shook my head.
“Well then Hemingway it is.”
He handed me the book. I looked at it, and opened it up, but I couldn't make it work.
“Oh for heaven's sake. You can't read, can you?”
I shook my head.
“...I'm sorry?”
Randolph put his head in his hands again.
“Then why did you say you... ahh, I get it. Gracie reads to you, and you listen, right?”
I nodded and smiled as hard as I could.
“Alright, I guess we can do that. Take a seat... no wait, that's just asking for an old gag to be played at my expense. Sit down on the bed Mary, and I'll read to you.”
I sat, and he did. The story was of an old man fishing in the ocean. I wasn't sure I understood everything, but he worked hard to catch a big fish, then to protect it from other fish that wanted to eat it because they were greedy and didn't want him to have any. It was a long story, and it was sad, and made me sad.
Randolph shut the book suddenly; it made a snap sound.
“Mary, are you crying?”
What was crying? Randolph touched my eyes.
“Hmm, no tears. Mary, are you sad?”
I remembered sad well. I was sad when in the darkness, among other things. And yes I was very sad.
“Sad story.”
“Yes it is, I'm sorry. I should have read you something happier. I didn't realize....”
“What is crying?”
Randolph blinked, slowly. That looked like fun too; so many fun things to do with eyes!
“Crying is, hmmm... crying is leaking water from your eyes, if you're sad enough.”
You could leak water from your eyes too?!? So much to do with eyes!
But when I checked, I wasn't doing it.
“Hah. You're pouting now. You want to be able to cry?”
I thought about it, then shook my head. Who wanted to be sad enough to cry? I just wanted to be able to leak water from somewhere. I mean I didn't use my hole, and now everyone else could leak water from their eyes but me.
“Good girl, I don't like crying either. If I cried I'd likely never stop.”
What did Randolph have to be sad about? I hugged him – gently – so he wouldn't be sad. Being together, being able to feel, makes everything better. The door opened.
“And what's going on here, hmm?”
Nurse Gracie was back!
“Nurse Gracie!”
I remembered at the last minute to be gentle when hugging.
“Oof! Hey there Mary, I missed you too.”
What was missed?
“Missed you.”
“So errands all completed?”
“Sure are. Thank you for keeping Mary occupied.”
Randolph shook his head.
“She's quite... clingy, isn't she?”
“I think she has some cause. Come on Mary, you can let go now, I need to move. So what did you do while I was gone?”
“Mary read with Randolph!”
“Oh you did? What did you read with Randolph?”
Randolph was making weird gestures with his hands; I didn't understand.
“Hemingway. An old man and an ocean.”
“That's 'The old man and the sea', Mary. Randolph read that, did he? And what did you think of it?”
That look nurse Gracie was giving Randolph was scary, somehow.
“I think it was sad.”
She looked at me for a moment like she was at Randolph, and I made myself smaller. Then she shook her head and smiled, and everything was all right again, so I smiled back.
“You're lucky Randolph. I don't think she understood it.”
Randolph shook his head.
“We never reached the ending, it's too long for that. She understood what she heard well enough.”
They were talking about me; I just knew it.
“Well let's see. Mary, let's let Randolph do his own thing for now, and you can tell me all about it.”
That was a terrible idea!
“No. Randolph does Mary's thing.”
“Oh, you want him to come along?”
I nodded really hard, but I learned a few things from this morning. I didn't make myself fall over this time.
“....really clingy. Mary why do you want me to come along?”
“Mary does not want Randolph to be alone.”
Randolph gave me a soft look, and nurse Gracie hugged me for some reason. I returned it; hugs are always good. The more the better!
“I'll tell you what Mary, I'll make a deal with you. If you can get that chair through the door and into your room without breaking it or anything else, I will go with you, and stay while you and Gracie do whatever it is you will do. Alright?”
I nodded really hard again, and looked at the chair. It was large, dark, and soft, with a nice feeling to it. I picked it up, very gently, and tried to move it through the door. It was too wide. It would never fit! How had it gotten in here in the first place? Had it been built here?
No, nurse Gracie said the castle had been moved here, so wouldn't the chair have been too? Was it built after the castle? It looked like it might be old. I tried it the other way; that way was even worse! What to do?
I set the chair down and used my arm to see how long the chair was all over. Then I did the same to the open door. There was no way! The chair was clearly bigger in all the ways that counted. It wasn't taller, that was it.
Wait... there was one other way it might work.
I took the chair and set it on it's side (gently) then I worked the tall part out the doorway first. Then the rest of it got moved so the tall part was off to the side, and the rest of the chair fit!
“Not bad, that didn't take her long at all. I know quite a few people that still don't catch on to that trick. The measuring was a nice touch.”
What was 'measuring'?
I picked the chair back up and marched proudly down the hall, then opened my door and did the same thing. It fit easily. Randolph clapped his hands, which looked like fun, so I did too.
“Alright Mary, put the chair upright in the corner there, and that's where I'll be.”
I gently set it down the right way, and Randolph plopped down in it with a sigh. Was something wrong? He caught my look, and somehow understood it.
“I'm fine Mary, I'm just a bit tired is all. Don't worry.”
Tired? What was that? I despaired of ever learning all of these things! But I had a good remedy for ba (maybe) things. I went and got Stitches the rabbit, and gave it to him.
“Stitches the rabbit will help.”
He looked dubious.
“Um, how will Stitches help?”
I corrected him. Nurse Gracie gave him the look. The new look I didn't like, at least when it was directed at me.
“Stitches the rabbit will help. She will be with you.”
“Alright Mary, if you're sure. I might get Stitches the rabbit dirty.”
I smiled at him.
“She gets clean!”
I turned back to nurse Gracie.
“Read time!”
Nurse Gracie shook her head, but grabbed a book.
“That's 'reading time' Mary. The present time action is 'reading'.”
“Reading time!”
“Alright Mary, I've got just the book.”
She sat on the bed; that wasn't right. I hugged her and helped her lay down, then snuggled for warmth.
“Oh my god... that's darn near... “
I looked up, Randolph was looking weird.
“Shut up, Randolph, or I'll put itching powder in your bandages.”
Randolph sank into the chair clutching Stitches the rabbit.
“I'll be good.”
I wasn't sure what was going on, but Randolph wasn't talking any more, so I settled back down to listen to nurse Gracie read.
…...................................................................................................................................................
I wiped my eyes on the back of a hand. Mary was once again in her room, on her bed, where coverage was of course the best; two cameras hidden in either wall corner and an entire suite of monitors built directly into the bed assured the absolute best coverage I could get.
A further precaution of cameras scattered throughout the castle and monitors of my own design in every doorway assured me I would get up to the minute information; they synced with the chip implanted within Mary herself to transmit all the data I could ever need on the processes going on within her.
How to make sense of it all, was up to me.
It pained me to be away from her; after all this time she was awake! She was better than I'd hoped, could have ever dreamed! Sure, she was childlike, missing much. But there was no reason to believe she would stay that way. After so much work, so much sacrifice, my friend was back.
If only her father were alive to see it. He had died last year, without knowing the results of our latest line of research. I dreaded the moment Mary would remember and ask the question. I half hoped she wouldn't, but I had mentioned her father to her last night.
She would not forget; I would not be that lucky.
Instead I poured myself into the research, the pure data. It was both as I predicted and stranger than I could have asked for.
Mary wasn't human; not anymore. The body I finally settled on to house her is perfect for her needs; I got so very lucky there. I almost considered calling the Knights of Purity in order to thank them personally, but that seemed in poor taste.
I did call Erica; I felt she deserved to know her donation had paid off well beyond most people's expectations. She had never doubted me, not even once. Even when everyone else called me a quack and smeared my good name.
Her essence was spreading throughout the corpse, taking over certain bodily functions and mimicking the function of organs. Last night it had spread through skin and muscle. This morning it had been in the stomach, greedily desiring more biological matter to feed it's growth. By tonight it would be in the heart and liver.
Would her heart beat once again?
I wasn't unduly worried about the lack of tear duct response, after all, the only thing currently moistening her eyes was her essence, and that would not allow itself to be removed in such a way. I had seen the black film under Mary's eyes last night purely by chance when she rolled her eyes at me.
Was it wrong to be excited about that? To see a life form that once was human, and is now so obviously not; to understand the significance of the process taking place, and be giddy as a schoolboy on the first day of summer vacation? I sure hoped not.
The readings were fascinating, and I could unravel their secrets for hours, but there was one other thing that they told me, that would have to be addressed. Fido leered at me from his bed in the corner of the lab.
“I know that face doc, what's the good news?”
“She's stable Fido. Absolutely 100% stable. No chance of a relapse as long as we feed her fresh DNA and electricity.”
“Electricity?”
“Yes, that was the missing element all along; she needed some form of energy to grow properly; she gathered some from mitochondria in fresh DNA we injected, but it wasn't enough. We tried radiation or all kinds, microwaves, other forms of DNA... when the answer was a good old fashioned jolt all along. Ironic, really, considering.”
“How did you figure it out?”
“Well a stroke of luck, actually. You know the body she's inhabiting, right?”
“Yeah. Pretty little thing, all cut up by some super villain or other trying to do the right thing.”
“Well let us give credit where credit is due; Slasher may have killed her with those force field blades of his, but the Knights of Purity helped in every way they could. I may yet send them an anonymous fruit basket.
At any rate, young Sarah Jacobs was an up and coming child superhero, an exemplar energizer as they rate things now. Not sure to what extent exactly, as this was the go go '80s, and testing wasn't formalized. Just like the laws at the time.
Well at any rate, she was able to store electricity, like a battery. She also had another power that no one had known of at the time, because it could only be detected after her death. Her body is simply immune to decay. Some exemplars are resistant to the bacteria and other forces of decay, and that phenomenon is well documented.”
I had to shake the terrible imagery of my childhood away; of my best friend, lying there rotting on the slab while his father and I watched what we had at first mistaken for a form of rot induced ichor drizzle from what was left of his ears.
“Sarah's body, however, released a coating throughout her cells that rejects cellular breakdown utterly. I still don't know how, though I can now replicate it to a certain degree of success. That breakthrough led to my self grafting skin.”
“You're babbling again doc.”
I took a moment to stare down my recalcitrant creation. He looked less than impressed, settling into his well known 'get on with it' pose.
“Right, well, Sarah's body was just lying there, with Mary injected inside. I'd already determined that the many other forms of energy we used hadn't hurt Mary, she was simply inert. So I thought; what was the harm? And tried to see if Sarah's body was still able to store electricity after death. Turns out it was, and that was the type of energy Mary needed to wake up.”
Fido cocked his head.
“Lucky; but how did you know it was working, enough to try it again?”
“The chip inside the body of course; it is built to handle such experiments, and provide data. I knew Mary was growing after the first jolt. After that it was simply a matter of providing another strong jolt every week, as much as the body could handle, and waiting for signs of awareness. I really didn't expect full animation so quickly though; it was quite surprising. Even more so is her mental growth, which seems to be just as rapid.”
I looked again at the chart showing her brain. The bed MRI worked perfectly, even if she moved. After filtering out Gracie, whose inner mysteries were already known to me, it showed a perfect image of Mary's dark brain, shot completely through with the essence of her. A full saturation already, just as I'd suspected.
The brain would have to be the first thing overtaken, after all.
“OK doc, I get all that, but then why roll her into the tower, and hit her with lightning? Why all the fake 'equipment' you ordered and carted up there?”
I snorted at him; didn't he understand anything?
“Because my dear Fido, proper formalities had to be observed. You might as well ask me why the castle at all, like Gracie does!”
Fido blinked, then stared at me in that infuriating way Gracie always does.
“Riiiighht, OK doc, I'll just be over here. You do your thing over there, where I don't have to worry about catching it.”
I replied in as lofty a manner as possible.
“You're a corpse dog, animated with the fruits of my research, Fido. You are already subjected to any crazy I might possess.”
“No need to risk fate. So did you call the geezers?”
Now it was my turn to sigh.
“Yes, I called my 'esteemed colleagues'. With any luck at all the representatives they send will both fall and break their necks getting off the plane tomorrow. They are taking one of the red-eye flights, and are due to arrive here at roughly 2pm. And of course they wish to congratulate – and by congratulate I mean destroy – my success. So you will need to be on your guard tonight. Full patrols, all night, no slacking. Understood?”
“Ya herr commandant. You really suspect them of hurting Mary? Just to be petty?”
“I have successfully, no matter how, breached the veil of death. I beat them at their own game, not once, but three times now. There are some that will not take that well.”
Fido sighed and laid down.
“Pity, she seems like such a nice kid. Too good for the circles we run in.”
I couldn't stop a nod.
“On that, dear Fido, I agree with you. But sacrifices had to be made to see Mary alive, and I do not regret paying any price for them. I just hope she understands, when she finally remembers.”
“If, doc, always an if there. Now shut up and let me get some peace. If I'm going to be patrolling I want some quiet right now.”
I gave a faint smile. Irascible creature, but I knew what he was saying. Take a break, relax. Be with your friend. You've earned the right.
With a desultory yawn, I came awake. I knew what time it was, of course. Sunset. It was always sunset when I woke, though that time could of course vary. That was the only thing about my routine that varied, it often seemed.
Rising from my coffin I found that annoying itch on my backside and scratched it. The doctor was strange, demanding I sleep in that thing, but it was surprisingly comfortable. The clothes were odd too, especially the cape and cloak. It was almost as if he wanted every day (or night) to be Halloween. The other experiments seemed to bear this out.
But the pay couldn't really be beat, so who was I to complain? Not like I could really find gainful employment anywhere else. Or the fringe benefits, without prosecution.
Donning my uniform, I started my shift; personal hygiene was moderately pointless; I only needed a quick splash of mouthwash to kill the bacteria there, and I had showered last night. Or maybe it was three nights ago. Either way it didn't matter; I had no one to meet, and no one to impress.
Well unless it was the doc, currently heading towards me in the hall. Perfect; just perfect. I really hoped he didn't notice the dark stain on my dress shirt.
Of course when he looked up, his eyes tracked right to it on their way to meet mine. Day was going pretty much as expected so far. Just like every other day, every other week, every other year....
“Phil, glad I ran into you.”
Wait, what? No chewing me out about my shirt? No 'act your age'? He actually approached and grabbed me, both hands on my shoulders. His face reflected... well manic glee, if I had to guess.
“She's awake, Phil. After all these years, she's finally awake!”
What?
“What, but.. how?!?”
He had never managed to make that corpse dance, in decades of trying. Some good had come of the attempts, including some promising leads on curing my condition, but his obsession had always struck me as well... obsessive.
That and vaguely pedophilic. I mean I was far from the poster child of sane, but wasn't doting on the corpse of a young girl considered a bit off? And that dog creeped me the hell out. At least I didn't have to deal with that thing.
I was also glad I missed out on what Grace called the Romero incident, along with much of the clean up. Just the amount I saw was enough to turn my stomach. And making my stomach turn was a bad idea. Grace was not happy when I added to the mess.
“The key was simple electricity! Not radiation, not solar power, not magic, not....”
“I get it doc, I do. So um... how's she doing?”
“Well she's fully up and about, with some minor loss of mobility and agility. The brain seems mostly intact, but her memory is spotty at best; almost complete amnesia. Both situations seem well on their way to correcting themselves.”
Again, what? I wasn't a doctor, but putting aside the fact that death was incurable, the brain damage should be incurable too, right? I mean she sat there, not even refrigerated, for decades. Even with no decay, the pathways should be well and truly screwed, right?
But maybe, to the guy who actually did cure death, it wasn't. Who was I to say?
“Um, how?”
“Well she's mostly doing it herself. She's learning again at a prodigious rate, and she had a bit of a foundation to draw on... but that's not really the important thing. She's awake, she's alive!”
Now there was the doc I knew and loved. I shrugged him off. None of this really mattered to me, I had the job to do.
“Just remember your end of the deal. Focus. Will this help my cure?”
He blinked and dragged himself out of la la land. I did not like the grin he brought back with him.
“Well it should, but that's not the important part. The important part is she needs help. Guidance. Friends.”
Anger and loneliness caused my bile to rise.
“Now, now, none of that. You haven't even eaten yet. Besides, I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. I won't order it. But you should give her a chance. Just not right now. The MADS have been informed and we need to batten down the hatches as it were. Plenty of time after your shift ends.”
And he clapped me on the back and left.
“Oh and by the way, you prefer the same sustenance.”
And he was gone. He couldn't mean... did he really? Well, it put the band aid on his arm in fresh perspective. Now that he mentioned it, he did say something about feeding her before, and how it seemed to cause a reaction. Was she like me, somehow? But that didn't make any sense!
The kitchen was empty, good. I hate Grace staring at me while I grabbed breakfast. Though to be fair, I liked Grace from afar. When she wasn't judging me, she had nice... assets. And with her skin condition cleared up, she looked great. A little mottled, but much better than when she arrived. Hopefully the doc would be able to do the same for that other poor bloke.
If he could then it might mean he was that much closer to solving my little problem. I was so sick of false promises and emptiness.
Nightly feeding ritual completed, I carefully threw the bag away and got ready. The brooch that let me bypass certain things was in place, and one weapon I carried was waiting by the door. Time to make my first round.
Just past the moat, the meadow surrounding the castle was well lit. But it had to be checked anyway, for modern jamming devices aimed at the camera or microphone network. Or for something foiling the motion detectors. Or the laser turrets. As always a thorough check (I couldn't slack off, the doc could be watching) took an hour, and revealed nothing.
Time for the fun part.
The forest was as always, spooky as hell. I don't know if the doc did something to it, or if it was always like this, but the trees seemed to close in as soon as I entered, blocking out as much light as possible. And reaching for me when my back was turned. I could feel the trees reaching for me. I hated this place.
Clutching my brooch, I checked the magical wards. All in place, none tripped, and no gaps in coverage. The defenses were, as always, perfect. Had been since the first mob. We were lucky there weren't any powered individuals mixed into that crowd, so very lucky. But at least that night hadn't been boring.
I'd worked here for decades, and that was the only night I'd had any excitement at all. Mostly my time was just dealing with this freaking forest.
Which seemed especially oppressive today. I couldn't wait to get out of here. Was that a wolf howl? Weren't wolves extinct this far east? Was Fido screwing with me again?
Already wound up too tight, I heard a noise, and was halfway towards the castle before I realized it was an owl. I really hope no one saw that. The camera network in the forest was spotty at best, so it was likely. The last time Fido had laughed at me for days. It took dressing him up in a pink dog vest complete with bows (he couldn't get it off without thumbs) to shut him up.
A quick tour of the somehow less spooky castle (even though the castle was designed to be spooky) showed all the doors intact, all the small little tripwires intact, and all the windows intact. Perfect, nothing going on. The doc was just paranoid, as usual. Though I suppose he had cause.
Time to settle in and watch the cameras.
The camera in the corpse's room was especially interesting. Grace was reading, and the corpse was snuggled against her but quite animated as they appeared to be talking. Randolph was even in the room, ensconced in that huge chair he loved from his room.
How had that little pipsqueak gotten that chair in there? It took both of us to move it last time. Maybe Grace had helped him, but that didn't make much sense either. Randolph's medical problems made it almost impossible for him to lift heavy objects now. Unless he lied to me. People did like lying to me often.
We didn't have the microphones turned on. Grace threw a fit about privacy, so now none of the inside mics were on unless we had reason to believe something unusual was going on. And I left them that way, curiosity or no, because Grace was scarier than Fido.
The cameras in the bathrooms hadn't lasted 2 hours past her arrival. Though the footage of her first time, before she found out about the security procedures, was amazing. And hidden safely inside the servers hard drive behind an innocuous file title, where he could see it again and again. Damn but I was pathetic.
But I was not pathetic enough to delete the file.
The doc came into view out of the camera's blind spot, holding something. It took a moment to realize is was one of those inane plush toys. The kind that were popular with children of all ages when I was a lad, but were now seen as beneath most children by age six. This one in particular was a bear, and he seemed to be trying to entice the bunny from the corpse's grasp.
She was having none of that however, though she seemed to be having quite the time wiggling it in response to the doc moving the bear, and making it hop around. It seemed to be quite the game. So there had to be brain damage after all, despite what the doc said.
Still, it looked as if they were all having fun. Of course if I were snuggled up against Grace, I would too. Crap, I needed to find a girl before it affected my job performance more than it already has. I especially needed to find one before my hidden stash of penthouses in the security office was discovered.
The distraction offered by camera six was not enough to keep me from putting at least one eye on the other cameras, which of course bored that other eye, because nothing ever happens here.
The ticking of the grandfather clock was the only accompaniment to my dubious entertainment. I was allowed to listen to music while on the job, but if I did, it sometimes drowned out the other noises I needed to hear. Like the clock chime, or Fido coming down the hall. When I was 'reading', hearing his almost silent padding my direction was a must; he'd turn me over to the doc or Grace in a heartbeat.
No need for my penthouses tonight though; I watched as first Randolph then the doc peeled away from the little group in favor of bed. I was kind of surprised at Randolph's stamina, staying awake that long couldn't have been easy.
If anything, the doc seemed even more reluctant to part, and Grace finally had to yell at him about it, at least from appearances. That stance of feet apart hands on hips, and gimlet stare was well known to me. And likely well known to any male ever born, truth be told. Watching the corpse imitate it was comedy gold, and well worth marking the time to make a small save file of later.
I suppose I really should ask her name; just calling her corpse was probably a bad idea, and it wasn't like being a corpse was a badge of shame. Here, even corpses were people too. Not that the doc or any of the others ever said it that way, but it was true. It was easily what I loved about this place the most, and it was past time I drank the company kool aid.
The sad thing was, I couldn’t stop a revisit of the first thought I had the first time I laid eyes on her. That even through all she'd been through, she was one hot corpse. I seriously needed to find a girl before I got fired.
With the doc out of the room, the two females went into the bathroom for a bit. Of course, since Grace knew about the cameras, and knew I'd be watching. Changing into nightclothes didn't take them long, and then they both climbed into bed again.
Was Grace going to spend the night with the corpse?
How curious. I thought she was like me; afraid of that thing. Had her fear dissipated with the animation of it? Mine had grown, if anything. But here she was, bedding down with the creature. Which was even more amazing when you considered she was here for what the doc and Fido laughingly called 'the Romero incident'. She was even forced to take an active part, and there she was, allowing a stitched up corpse to hug her close.
I suppressed the envy with effort. The corpse's head was very much where I'd love my head to be. Grace had some amazing breasts. Grace turned the light out, while I could imagine the purring noises coming from the bed as they shifted, getting comfortable.
The lack of light was no deterrent to the cameras; any of them. I wouldn't have it any other way.
But they settled in, and despite myself, so did I, easing off the edge of my chair and releasing the breath I hadn't known I held. They were alone together, in the dark, and there was no munching going on. From either side. Both were sleeping peacefully.
Very interesting, but it made me wonder what had happened. That the corpse would be the instigator, needing that kind of comfort somehow, was something I could see. Perhaps the doc had ordered Grace into it? No, that didn't quite fit either; Grace had ignored the doc when he spouted nonsense before. I suppose I could always ask, though I'd have to find out what sort of mood Grace was in first.
Two hours passed with little movement from either of them, and nothing more than the average stirring one would expect of sleeping people. I felt almost guilty about only skimming the other cameras, but what the doc didn't know wouldn't hurt me.
Then of course the clock chimed eleven, and I duty called. Time for another round. This time the round in the castle called for additional equipment. I grabbed the stupid bulky X03 from it's alcove near the door.
Looking like a cross between a hand held x-ray, a box, and a child's periscope, the damn thing weighed about forty pounds. But it had a very important job. It allowed one to look through walls. No opening of doors, and since I didn't need any light, no prior warning for any would be intruder at all.
Plus a quick scan on either side of me as I walked down the hall, only adjusting the power setting every once in awhile to penetrate multiple walls or bulky furniture (or the thicker outside walls if I wanted) and the round was done. I just had to be careful to hit every little nook cranny and corner. Even doing that it was quite the time saver.
The weakest setting was good for penetrating clothes, but it was very hard for it to penetrate walls then clothes... it had to be fine tuned to the extreme. It took less than an hour to use the X03 to see everything, and then I was off to phase 2 of the real job. With the alarms on automatic I left to go play in the woods yet again.
I had to leave the X03 behind; it was far too delicate for field work, and I tended to trip a lot. The doc forbade me from taking it outside after the third time he had to repair it. The meadow was still clear, so halfway home.
The forest was still spooky as hell, though this time the stupid owl didn't scare me. In fact, the entire forest surrounding the castle was quiet. The trip wires showed nothing. The more rustic alarms and traps we had showed nothing either. Not even that wolf who the doc probably imported just to scare me was making noise.
A fact which I found curious. There was only one reason for a forest normally teeming with life to be utterly silent. The introduction of a predator. There was only one reason for predators to be silent. The introduction of a stronger predator, or at least one perceived as such.
I didn't count; the animals around here were long since used to my presence and smell. Though wary, few stopped their nightly rounds on my account. Those few that did simply waited till I was passed, then started up again, something I could easily hear. I hadn't believed the doc when he told me that all the animals here were more sensitive to disturbances than most, at least to start. I certainly believed it now.
There! A sound which did not belong. I was turned that way before my conscious mind even registered it. It was the sound of an actuator... a robotic muscle, shifting it's owner slightly. But other than a sense of 'from the left' I could determine no more. Still, it was mildly sloppy.
Or perhaps not. It may not be a lazy devisor and light baffling. I could be picking up the sound of the actuators because I'm close enough to touch the thing. But where?
The answer was obvious, if you weren't a horror movie star. I looked up, and was immediately rewarded with my first glimpse of the thing. It was man sized but small, smaller than I was and wiry. It had some sort of passive camo which made my eyes want to slide off of it, an effect which I had dealt with before.
A hint of motion and it was gone, headed away from the castle at a pace I'd be very hard pressed to follow. But the glimpse of it in motion was enough. I had in fact, seen that camo before, because I had seen the robot in question before.
Painted all in black, it was molded to look like a shinobi straight from a video game, and had attacks to match. It was one of Dr. Syn's ninja-bots.
Not a bad piece of tech, but more than a little tacky. I mean, who tries to build ninja robots anyway? Robots that big just couldn't be completely silent. I much preferred professor Roach's robotic intelligence gathering insects. Much simpler and able to go places where even a ninja could not. Which reminded me; it was time to instigate the bug zapper sweep.
The fact that the ninja-bot had run away meant it had been programmed to gather intelligence and avoid detection. A bit buggy, but I didn't care. If I decided I had seen it, that would have engaged it's kill protocols, and I really didn't want to fight the thing. Winning took effort.
I didn't expect both of them to act so quickly, but if one had sent spies, the other had likely sent some spies too. They didn't like the idea of one getting an advantage on the other. Both of them underestimated the doc in my opinion, but that suited me just fine.
Sweep over, it was time to return to the castle and make sure the bot hadn't doubled back; if it hadn't, chances were that it had left entirely. I don't think it dared to try get that close, as the traps around the castle were far more formidable than it's programming. I should know, I cleaned up the pieces of old ninja-bots enough. The lasers, real ones with almost colorless beams and no sound maker included, had a tendency to turn them to scrap before they realized they were being targeted.
Luckily, they had different intensity settings for flesh. I'm not sure who had insisted on that feature, but my money was on Grace.
The castle was as I'd left it, the X03 at the door, and I used it again on my way back. Not a full sweep, but enough to take note of broken windows or something crazy. Nothing. The security office was quiet, and empty. Perfect.
I flicked the plastic safety hood off the button on the wall next to my battered desk (OK, one of them) and pressed it. Immediately on the map the wall opposite three red lights popped on. One in the library, one in the kitchen, and one in the hall.
The next button over caused those lights to darken again. I had made the mistake of asking how once; that was a waste of an hour that I'd never get back... and I'd likely be pissed about it, but the truth is I liked the company.
Even endlessly jabbering company that made me want to beat my head into a wall until the hurting stopped.
With everything quieted down for the night I settled back. I doubted either scientist would try anything more than this for now. The real shenanigans would occur during their visit tomorrow, and I wouldn't be awake for that.
I wrote the excitement in my log book as usual; who knows, maybe the doc would read it this time. Then I settled in with one of my favorites – Penthouse issue number 1. For the articles, of course.
I floated out of the darkness once again to the warmth and pleasant smell of nurse Gracie. I snuggled closer, being careful not to squeeze too hard. I lay like that, content and comfortable, looking at her until she woke with a small jump.
“Mary, been awake long?”
I wasn't sure how long long was, though I did have some idea of time. It didn't seem like that long at all to me.
“No.”
She gave me a look; I think it was a calculating look.
“You wouldn't know how long it was, even if it was a long time, would you?”
She was good at this! I smiled.
“No.”
She rolled her eyes at me.
“Of course not.”
I tried to imitate her, but I don't think I did it right. She laughed though, and the sound was a thousand tinkling bells. I wanted to make her laugh like that forever.
“Alright Mary, shower time.”
She grabbed the clothes she had placed in Randolph's chair; she had brought them from her room last night, and added what she wanted me to wear to it. For convenience, she said.
She had gotten a little mad when I went to put it on last night. Apparently I was only supposed to wear other clothes in the morning, when the sun was up but not in the window. Always so much more to learn.
Taking the cloth off by myself was kind of hard; I knew nurse Gracie didn't want me to break it, and it got stuck! nurse Gracie laughed her bell laugh again, and helped.
“You pull it up, Mary. Up gently, like this.”
She got the cloth off me and then set it back on, showing me how to remove it. I was just glad I hadn't broke it. I did remember how to do all the things she showed me yesterday; use of the soap, and shampoo, and conditioner, and how to make the water come out.
Once done we dressed and I followed Nurse Gracie to the kitchen, where she started making food. I was a little hungry, but it wasn't the toothy growling thing it was yesterday. Today, nurse Gracie's hunger was making noises though.
Doctor Reg came in for the weird smelling brown stuff he had started eating with yesterday, while Nurse Gracie made the same food she made yesterday. The eggs. This time she was making something else with them.
“What is that?”
“That's bacon Mary, it goes well with eggs. Doctor Reg likes it that way.”
I turned to doctor Reg.
“What's this?”
“That is coffee Mary. Did we cover coffee yesterday morning? I don't think we got to it.”
No, we didn't cover coffee yesterday morning. What would we cover it with? And why?
“Coffee is a beverage Mary, a drink. Much like your food is currently. While not a good food for you, it works wonders for me.”
Why was it not good for me? I wanted to drink it and find out. But if doctor Reg thought it was not good for me, then it wasn't. He was my friend after all, and wouldn't be wrong about these things.
“Don't worry about it Mary, perhaps in time you can try other foods. But for now, are you hungry?”
I shook my head. I really wasn't. Not like nurse Gracie and doctor Reg are.
“Good, good. Let me know when you are, alright?”
I nodded, and my hair flew everywhere.
“You don't need to shake your head with such... enthusiasm, Mary. Just a little nod works too. Like this.”
Nurse Gracie demonstrated for me, and I mimicked her.
“Much better.”
I looked around, finally noticing something. Fido was missing!
“Fido?”
Nurse Gracie wasted no time in correcting me.
“That's 'where is Fido' Mary.”
Doctor Reg answered the question.
“Fido is busy at the moment, doing his job.”
Fido has a job? I knew what a job was... nurse Gracie had explained them to me yesterday. Like cleaning or cooking. Would I get a job of my own? What was Fido's job, anyway?
“Where is Fido job?”
“That's 'where is Fido's job?' Mary.”
I smiled at nurse Gracie; she hadn't even turned around that time! She was putting doctor Reg's food on a plate. She tries really hard to make sure I'm not making mistakes.
“Fido's job is outside, Mary. Outside the castle. Fido works on...”
Nurse Gracie interrupted.
“Doctor; not now. Not... yet.”
Doctor Reg looked into my face with a weird look, so I smiled at him.
“Alright. Fido works in managing the outside grounds, Mary.”
I looked between them, confused. What had just happened? Oh well, I had my answer. Wait... nurse Gracie got to go outside. Fido got to go outside. Doctor Reg got to go outside! Everybody got to go outside but me!
“Mary wants outside!”
“You want to go outside Mary? If we get all our work done today I'll take you.”
I hugged nurse Gracie. She was the best! Doctor reg made a noise I didn't know how to make.
“Mary, there are people coming to the castle today; would you like to meet them?”
More world AND more people from it all in one day? This was the best today ever! Doctor Reg squirmed a bit in my hug.
“I guess that means yes.”
Nurse Gracie was smiling too.
“Yes it does. So the other doctors are coming in today?”
Doctor reg made another noise I didn't know how to make. He was talented.
“Wild horses couldn't keep them away; when I posted my success they all but accused me of lying and demanded they be able to check, in the same breath.”
“Well that's just how they are. Old unsociable men who wouldn't know polite if it bit them.”
Polite had teeth?
“Anyway you needed their backing, so you have to put up with it. Mary, stop trying to snort, it's not polite.”
Was that was it was called? A snort? And if polite had teeth, why would I want it? Would it get hungry, since teeth were used for eating? Did snorting bring this 'polite' out? I resolved to stop trying to make the noise; after all, there was no telling if polite knew what was right to eat and what wasn't.
I waited and waited, fidgeting and looking for something to do while doctor Reg and nurse Gracie ate. I couldn't go outside until nurse Gracie and I did the work for today, and the first job yesterday had been dishes. Hey, I had a job like Fido! I helped nurse Gracie; surely that counted, right?
Finally they were done, and I took the dishes and put them in the sink.
“Well, someone is in a hurry. What if we wanted more?”
I looked at nurse Gracie with some confusion. Then looked in the dish she cooked food in. There wasn't any more.
Nurse Gracie put her hand on my hair and moved it around. It felt kind of nice but kind of weird.
“It's alright, we don't. But you should wait until we're ready before you start cleaning up, OK?”
I nodded.
“...Sorry?”
There was that bell laugh again; that ready smile.
“But what if I wanted more?” Doctor Reg asked.
“Too bad; I've seen how you're starting to thicken in the middle; you don't need more. Exercise more, then we'll talk.”
“That's pretty cruel, Gracie.”
Doctor Reg looked sad, so I hugged him. But at the same time, I had to correct him.
“Nurse Gracie!”
“Right, right... I'm sorry, nurse Gracie it is.”
Nurse Gracie turned the gear to make water fill the sink, and added soap. I got my towel for drying them. Doctor Reg slunk out of the kitchen to his job. I wasn't sure what his job was today. But I was sure he had one, and it involved the cellar.
But who cared about the cellar? I was going to go outside! Nurse Gracie and I were both going to go, just as soon as we finished cleaning! And maybe we could find Fido, and help him with his job! Then we could all be together, outside!
“Careful Mary, if we break the dishes, we will have more to clean up.”
I slowed down. That wouldn't do at all. Nurse Gracie favored me with a smile I recognized as... indulgent? What was indulgent?
“It's alright Mary, outside will still be there for us no matter how much time it takes. But there is no reason we need to clean more than absolutely necessary today. Say... two rooms? Neither as large as the library?”
She grinned at me again, this one spoke of mischief. Again, I wasn't sure what mischief was, but I knew the grin spoke of it. Something like a joke? I shrugged and grinned back.
The dishes didn't really take long at all, and the first room was nurse Gracie's. It was very clean and decorated with pretty colors. Nurse Gracie kept up the grin throughout, making me think she was up to one long joke.
That grin, if anything, got wider when we cleaned the next room, which was a smaller room where the house soaps were kept. Nurse Gracie called it a closet. With all the cleaning things out of it, it took even less time than nurse Gracie's room, or my room.
Then she led me all the way down the hall, and to a large door. I knew it was old oak, banded in iron, It looked like all the other doors in the castle, only larger. With another bright smile I tried to match, she produced a large oddly shaped piece of metal from her clothes and stuck it in the metal part of the door, below the knob.
The door opened to brightness that was at first, blinding. It soon resolved itself to a garden of stone. Nurse Gracie stood aside and let me through and into the bright warmth, closing the door behind us.
There were other buildings all around, made of the same stone. And stones like the floor of the castle, only a bit more rough under my feet. They made a trail, with dirt on either side. The varied gray seemed to soak up the sun, much as I did. It was warm and wonderful. Around it all, was a large stone wall, composed of large rough stones; some of them were even bigger than the bed in my room!
And there, to one side of the rock trail, there was a car.
It wasn't a car I recognized, but I knew what a car was. One had killed me, after all. It was bigger than the one from my dreams, but looked better; more sleek, and somehow it seemed better made. Nurse Gracie had to tug on my arm to get me past it.
“Come on Mary, it's safe. It's not on, and can't hurt you.”
All the same I was careful as I walked past it. Nurse Gracie continued;
“We don't use any of these buildings. There isn't anyone to occupy them. Most of the people around here... well let's just say they aren't happy with us putting the castle here, so we have to keep it up ourselves, and get people to come from far away when we need something.”
Looking closer with eyes less blind, I saw hints of green here and there among the stones and dirt... plants of some sort. They weren't all that colorful or pretty. We were headed to the wall, and there was a big opening in it. On the other side of that opening I could see a wooden bridge, more old wood with banded metal around it.
Some of the green plants were actually crawling up the side of the castle! I wondered how they did that without legs... They reached pretty far up, and had white heads on them in random places. The outside smelled much different than inside the castle.
Then we reached the wall, and beyond it was a small... stream? Body of water. Something. The bridge lay across it. And on the other side....
Outside was so huge!
Gently rolling hills covered in green and spots of other color, trees off in the distance (I remembered what those were) and more water flowing from the trees to the stream under our feet. There was a smooth stone path from the end of the bridge leading to the forest too.
The smells were wonderful. Less strong and yet more suggestive of heat and... haze? I wasn't sure what they were, but they were so much better than the cleaning soaps.
And everywhere above me there were white clouds and smaller things flying in the sky, and other things moving around in the distance. A glimpse of bright color caught my eye, fluttering around near me.
It was bright yellow and black, and it rose and fell in the air, flapping small wings. It wasn't a bird. The name of it was in my head somewhere, but I didn't know where! Maybe if I could get closer, and see it better...
It was on green plant, twitching the two large colorful parts it had, when I came up. But when I got closer it flew over my head like a bird, but more weird. It kept dropping, then raising, then dropping again. It landed on another plant, twitching itself again.
“That's a butterfly, Mary.”
A butterfly! I remembered now! But what a weird name... it wasn't butter, or a fly. I guess it could be a combination of both... but I would have to get closer to see.
“You don't want to hurt it do you? It's very fragile.”
It was moving. It was alive. I didn't want to hurt it or consign it to the darkness! I stopped, falling down, and put my arms behind me, watching it carefully. It floated off and landed on another plant with a blue head.
When I looked nurse Gracie had her hands on her face.
“Alright, I'll take that as a no. Want me to show you a trick? Help you get a closer look?”
I nodded.
“If I show you, you can't touch, alright? Just look.”
“Yes.”
She walked over and grabbed another plant with a blue head, pulling it out of the ground. She then walked over to where I was and handed me the plant, with the head just above my hand and moving my hand up above my head.
“Now just wait, and stay still.”
I waited. Nurse Gracie backed off, and I waited some more.
It seemed to take forever, but the butterfly came over... and landed on the plant in my hand, it's parts slowly moving up and down. I could see it now! It looked kind of like a worm with brightly colored drapes, and had long thin pieces coming from it's head. It didn't look anything like a fly, or butter. That was now definite.
Perhaps the mixing of the two made the combination different? But could such a combination make the new whole that different... and alive? I think I would have to test this. I was distracted by the butterfly stopping whatever it was doing to the plant, and walking on my finger.
It tickled! I could feel it's little legs, the pressure they exerted! This was great! An entire huge outside, filled with so much other than myself! Despite myself I held back. I wanted very much to touch the butterfly, to pet it; but I remembered nurse Gracie's warning.
I would likely crush it. I was too strong for it. It was made of butter and a fly after all, not stone or wood.
But that didn't mean I couldn't have fun with it. It never said anything, but I considered it a friend!
When it flew off, I was ready. I tried to follow as best I could. I found myself making some weird sounds, but I didn't know what they were. Nurse Gracie didn't seem too concerned; I was sure her smile matched mine; ear to ear.
When I got close, I slowed down and got careful again. But every time it took off, I followed as best I could.
Fido ran up while I was playing; I waved at him and kept going. He turned to nurse Gracie.
“Chasing butterflies. Just like a puppy.”
“It seems to be a right of passage for the young.”
“Is that... is that laughter?”
“Of course it is, she's having fun. She's not even really trying to catch the butterfly. Doesn't want to hurt it.”
So laughter was the sound I was making? A joyous sound, but it sounded nothing like nurse Gracie's laugh. Fido looked at nurse Gracie. I wish I knew how I was doing it.
“...Weird.”
Finally tired of the game, I flopped down into the small green plants. They felt soft and inviting, if not as soft as my bed. I noticed Randolph on the bridge and headed our way and waved to him... as my playmate butterfly landed on my nose.
With a smile I blew it off and watched it fly away.
The sun had walked across the sky, and his (how did I know the sun was a guy? I don't know, I just did.) friendly clouds had too. He was now pouring most of his light on the side of the castle nearest us, on the green plants that crawled up the castle wall.
Then I heard a light but low distant rumbling noise; it took me some time to recognize what it was, but I did know, and the knowledge filled me with dread. The noise got louder as the object of terror resolved itself along the smooth stone path, coming out of the trees with a lurch. It was large and black, and seemed to soak up the sun's light like a shard of darkness itself.
It was a car.
I watched the car carefully, but it stayed on it's ribbon, even as it got close enough to make a break for us. I was hiding behind Doctor Reg anyway; he could stop it. Or if he couldn't, it would get him first. But it surprised me by behaving. That was a good word to know; maybe if nurse Gracie told the cars of the world to behave they would?
"Come on Mary, let's go meet our guests."
What were guests? Again, doctor Reg was was reading my thoughts.
"Guests are other people, Mary."
Other I's! I wanted to know them all! But they had come in the metal guts of the car. They were still in it, even. What if it wouldn't cough them up? Would we have to go get them?
The other I's opened the side of the car, and escaped. They were smaller than Doctor Reg, but not as small as nurse Gracie. They were dressed in black over white clothes, and seemed very sour. Both of them had white hair, and one of them had a stick in his hand. They both nodded to Doctor Reg.
"Doctor Stutz."
He nodded back.
"Doctors Covings, Mallory."
They got his name wrong. They were talking right at doctor Reg, and calling him something else. They had to be set straight!
"Doctor Reg!"
So I might not have been paying as much attention to them as I wanted; the car was still open, and it could try to swallow us all at any time. The two other I's now identified, did not seem worried about that possibility at all. I was trying to decide who I should try to save. Doctor Reg or nurse Gracie might be able to jump clear on their own and get away, but I wasn't sure. The best thing to do was pay close attention to the car, even though it seemed quiet now.
And Doctor Covings leaned near me with a smile that somehow wasn't, and held out a hand.
"And you must be... Mary. Pleased to meet you."
Then he looked at Doctor Reg with even less of a smile than before.
"What's she doing?"
Doctor Reg looked at me, behind him.
"Well if I had to guess, I'd say she's hiding from your car."
I nodded, and he grinned.
"It's O.K. Mary, with the people out of it, it's asleep. It won't hurt anyone."
I didn't fully believe him, but nurse Gracie grabbed me and brought me closer to Doctor Covings.
"You're supposed to shake his hand, Mary. It's only polite. Gently."
I did so. He wanted to shake my hand too, up and down, so I let him. Then Doctor Mallory wanted to take a turn. Apparently it was a fun game for them, but I had to play by the rules. Oh well, I could always play with the butterflies again! They were fun, and knew how to fly!
"Mary, where are you going?"
"Butterflies!"
"Alright, be careful O.K?"
I nodded. Of course I would, they were small, and for all that they liked to play I didn't want to hurt them. The rules of that game were clear too. But even with the rules, this game was more fun than the other. I could still hear everyone talk though, and I made a point of listening for my name in case they were talking to me.
"Well, for being dead as long as she was and her prior state, she seems remarkably less retarded than one would expect."
Doctor reg spoke up, but that butterfly was waiting for me, right on the other side of the wooden road. I didn't want to go too far, but that wasn't that far away.
"What did you expect? She was a mutant. She would have died long ago if her mutation didn't actually provide benefits. Her intelligence was preserved; her memory, after so long however, is something else entirely."
Doctor Mallory spoke up.
"Ahh, so that's what it is. How bad is the problem? How much has the heir lost?"
"Childhood easily, though she seems to remember some things. Like your car scared her; That's why she was hiding. She remembers or internalized being in her death-like state somehow. I'm not sure how badly that may affect her yet. She remembered me, and recognized me right off, but doesn't seem to have made the full connection yet. And she hasn't asked about her father yet."
"Hmm... odd."
Doctor Covings got involved.
"Not necessarily. She might be very visual based at the moment, and seems to have... imprinted on Reginald and Gracie. Those portions of her memory might just simply be gone. Tell me, has she seen any evidence of her father?"
Out of the corner of my eye I saw nurse Gracie nod. I wanted to nod too, but the butterfly was just about to land....
"She has; two things jogged her memory. But she hasn't asked. It's been all about us, so far."
Doctor mallory spoke next, and the butterfly left. I wondered if his loudness had chased it off. Could it hear things?
"One wonders why she isn't more interested in this conversation."
Doctor Reg spoke up.
"Oh she is, but she doesn't know who we're discussing. After all, no names have been used. It's a hole in thinking we haven't had time to correct."
"Intriguing."
They were talking about holes. Holes were weird, and did so much. I wondered if I could find any holes around; the thinking hole sounded like it would be amazing. How would a hole think? Then the butterfly landed on me, and I had to stop. It started crawling around, moving it's wings.
"So what does she know? Have you done any of the standardized tests? Math, langauge, problem solving? You have at least scanned her for brain activity, haven't you?"
Doctor Reg sounded odd as he replied.
"There wasn't time for testing, she's only been awake for two days! But of course I have brain and body scans. They show some rather amazing results, actually. Nothing short of a miracle."
"Oh?"
"Yes. To start with, though her brain shows activity, and we have the electrical charge applied for that, it's primarily comprised of what existed before, the... substance that was the heir. And she's still quite dead."
The doctors were all looking at me. I didn't know what to do, so I smiled and waved. It seemed to be the right thing, since they smiled and waved back, though their smiles looked small. And then the butterfly took off again, not liking my movement. I followed, making a noise that just seemed to bubble out of me: I wondered where it would lead me this time!
"What do you mean?"
I looked over at the emotion in doctor Mallory's voice, to see what had startled him. I didn't see anything, and the car was still quiet and motionless, so I went back to the butterfly.
"I mean her heart beats because it's being massaged by the substance. Her brain sparks because it is made from it, like jello filling a mold or a clay sculpture. Several of her organs are not functioning, several of her muscles have been bridged by the same substance and most biological activity we associate with life is not present. The substance is making up for the lack, taking on the roles it needs to in order to make the body function."
"That is... astonishing. Any theories? Have you finally managed to determine what it is?"
"A few. As for what it is... well, she's a virus. Cellular structure, behavior, DNA, all shows that she shares many of the common attributes we associate with viruses. She was inert for lack of power, but since wakening she has spread throughout her host, and is currently assimilating more of it each moment. One of my theories is that she is massaging the heart because she needs to, and is using it to pump more of herself to the harder to reach tissues of her host; if I'm right she will eventually repair and restart all of the organs and make the body live again, as opposed to just reanimating it. Her work on the heart and brain seem to bear the theory out."
"You have proof?"
"Of course. Time elapsed scans, inside."
"Can she do it to living tissue?"
"We've tried before, remember? The results were negative, even though the side effects to the organism were... interesting."
Nurse Gracie walked up as the doctors all walked off. That was mean, I just met them and they were just going away.
"Hey, Mary, do you remember how to play 'catch'?"
I shook my head no. What was catch? Something.... a small ball and a weird glove. An faint image of a face, all detail long since washed out. Nurse Gracie held up a circle... a ball, and a large one. She held it in both her hands, and I would need both hands for it. It was red and soft to the touch.
"Here is how the game works. We both take turns, throwing the ball to each other. We have to do it gently, or we might hurt each other. The one not throwing, tries to catch the ball in their hands, then throws it back. Want to try?"
I nodded. That sounded fun.
Nurse Gracie moved back several steps and then threw the ball. I tried to catch it but missed.
"If you fail, you have to go get the ball before you throw it back."
I did so; it took a few tries to pick it up. It wanted to squish out of my hands!
"Remember Mary, throw gently."
I did, and the ball didn't reach Nurse Gracie, which made me frown. This was harder than it looked!
"A little harder than that. Part of the fun is in throwing it just hard enough."
Nurse Gracie threw it to me again, and this time i caught it! I had to use both hands and the rest of me, but it was a win! Nurse Gracie thought so too.
"Great Job, Mary!"
I threw it back, and Nurse Gracie caught it, having to move towards me a little to do so. I smiled; I think I had the hang of it now. If I threw just a little stronger, she wouldn't have to move at all! A few throws later and I had it down. We were throwing that ball to each other so easily!
And then I got an idea.
I did not like that black car the doctors had come in. Even more than the car Doctor Reg said was his, it was scary. Big and black and just... there. So maybe it would like to play catch? I think you needed arms to play catch, and I didn't see any. Maybe it would just eat the ball, the way it ate the doctors? If so it would spit it back out, so that wasn't a problem.
"What are you doing, Mary?"
Uh oh, Nurse Gracie was on to me! If I was going to do it, I had to do it now!
The ball bounced off the car, and the car screamed. I had woken it up!
Nurse gracie was hugging me.
"Mary, Mary, it's O.K.! It's alright, you can stop. It won't hurt you!"
I had been about to run, and I realized I had been making a loud noise too, like the car. A... scream? Yes, a scream. I remembered just in time not to hug nurse Gracie too hard. It took a long time before the car was silent again. I learned my lesson; I would never do that again.
"What happened?"
Doctor Reg! I hugged him too, dragging him away from the evil beast in our midst.
"Mary, stop! Mary, what's wrong?"
"Nothing much doctor; Mary got the bright idea to throw the ball at the car, and the alarm scared her."
I didn't stop until he as out of the car's ribbon. That way he was safer. Doctor Reg turned to the other doctors, who had also come with him. They seemed to be having fun breathing, they were doing a lot of it. I wasn't about to drag them out of the way though, it was their car!
"I see. Perhaps gentleman, for your next visit, you might turn off your car alarm? It seems to have frightened our subject."
Wait, what was a subject? Something about that word....
Doctor Mallory pointed a thing at the car, and it chirped at him. Could it make other things chirp too? That would be fun!
"Mary, you don't need to imitate the car."
Another word I didn't know.
"Imitate?"
"Make noises like the car. People might think you are a car too!"
That was silly. I didn't look anything like a car. Nurse Gracie was smiling at me though. I wasn't entirely sure but nurse Gracie could be playing another game with me? But it was mean to do that without telling me the rules! There were always rules. Rules were there to keep people from getting hurt, like the rules for hugging and sleeping and things.
The car, despite all the new noises it made, did not move. Doctor Reg pulled himself away from me and turned to the doctors.
"Copies of all the data will be sent to the locations you requested. Did you need anything else?"
Doctor Mallory answered.
"No, that's all... so long as you remember to turn on your camera feeds. There must be confirmation of all findings, and oversight. We were content with the prior process, but full methodology must be observed now."
Doctor Reg bent over slightly.
"I understand. If there is nothing else, I will see to the well being of the subject."
"See that you do."
And then they opened the car up. I was taking no chances this time; before they got inside of their own free will, I had Nurse Gracie and Doctor Reg well away and in the door of home.
The car started making noise again, the deep rumble different from it's screams, and moved away with the other doctors inside. I liked them, but they could just leave their car wherever cars were left next time. I poked Doctor Reg's car. It did not scream. It was also white. Maybe the white cars didn't scream?
I didn't see any more butterflies; were they scared away?
"So how bad was it?"
How bad was what? Nurse Gracie sometimes asked confusing questions. She was talking to Doctor Reg though, so I didn't answer. Even though I thought the other I's had been mean to leave so soon.
"Bad... the incident out here was timely. But nothing I can't handle. The camera feeds have to be turned on, which you heard. And copies of all my data streams have to be sent, which you heard. Basically what we feared, should we ever succeed. But we are ready for that, and have been. It's just... annoying, thinking that now they finally think of all this as worthwhile."
Fido walked up, grass all over him. I wondered how he managed that.
"It's fine doc, we got your back. They won't get anything from us. Ans I'll whip that useless guy into shape too. If they try something, we'll be ready."
They? Try something? Who was they and what something would they try?
Doctor Reg made a noise.
"Quiet. Little ears are present."
"Going to need to know sometime, doc."
I tried to imitate the noise, hoping it would scare Fido. He was still eying me like I was food!
"Yes, eventually... just not now. Please? Not now?"
"It's your call. But don't blame me for any hate later."
Nurse Gracie spoke up next.
"He wouldn't do that sort of thing. He's one of the good ones. Besides, I doubt he will get any such hate."
Nurse gracie was looking at me sort of from the side, so I smiled. I wondered what she was worried about. She seemed worried as she smiled back. Then I wondered what worried was. It was something I felt I should know....
"Any hate I get is no more than I deserve. And I'll deal with it myself if it comes."
Hate was bad, wasn't it? The way everyone was talking about it made it sound like it was bad. But I had to focus on the important things. I pointed to Fido.
"Grass."
He grinned at me.
"Yep. Grass is fun to roll around in. Unfortunately I have no arms or hands, so I can't brush it off. I guess nurse Gracie will have to wash me clean later, eh?"
Nurse Gracie didn't look smiley at Fido. I think she was mad. But again, the important things had to come first.
"Mary, what are you doing?"
"Rolling in the grass."
I guess it was kind of fun, just to wiggle around. And it made my back feel better. But I think nurse Gracie was mad; she had her hands over her face again.
"Heh. Looks like I've corrupted the innocent! Awesome."
I'm not sure what Fido meant, but he was smiling, and not in his 'Mary is food' way. So I smiled back.
"Alright enough Mary, you're getting your clothes all dirty. Stand up, it's time to go inside."
I didn't want to go inside! The inside was so small and smelled old.
"Don't pout Mary, it isn't polite. And if we don't go inside, we can't see Randolph. You want to see Randolph, don't you?"
Yes I did; why was Randolph not here? He said he would be here, and play outside!
"He didn't come outside."
"He couldn't Mary, he wasn't feeling well."
What was not feeling well? Nurse Gracie seemed to understand my thoughts once again.
"It means he's sick Mary."
What was sick? And just like that, Nurse Gracie's face was in her hands again.
"It means his body isn't working right, Mary. He can't move around as well as he wants."
So his body wouldn't work that well? Seemed a silly reason not to go outside. I mean we aren't doing anything hard, were we? Well throwing the ball just right was hard... was there a way to make him feel better?
"Let's go!"
"Mary, you can stop pulling, I'm coming! Be gentle, remember?"
I moved quickly (ran? Another word I somewhat knew) to Randolf's room, Nurse Gracie right behind.
"Wait Mary. Knock first and wait for Randolf's reply, remember? Randolf likes his privacy."
I knocked, gently. And waited. And Randolf did not answer. I looked over at Nurse Gracie.
“I'll go in first.”
She knocked again and then walked in, while not opening the door enough to let me in or see. So I gently opened the door more. Doctor Reg followed me in, smiling.
“Seems there is more we need to work on, eh Nurse?”
“As you say, Doctor.”
Randolf was in bed. His eyes were shut and he was not moving. Were his eyes not working too? I knew how that felt; it wasn't good.
“What's wrong?”
Nurse Gracie touched him on the arm, and neck. His eyes looked like they wanted to open, but didn't.
“Nothing more than usual. I guess he was just tired and fell asleep.”
Well that was wrong! I promptly climbed into his bed and settled in beside him, making sure to be gentle.
“Uh, Mary? What are you doing?”
Doctor Reg replied for me.
“Mary doesn't want Randolf to be alone. Or to be more precise, to face the darkness alone. It's fine, she won't hurt him.”
“But....”
“But nothing, it's fine. Look you can stay too and make sure. Your work for the day is pretty much done. You were just going to read, weren't you? Shouldn't be any problem, and this way you'll be right here if his condition changes.”
Fido spoke too, though I didn't understand what he was talking about.
“Ahh, the look on Randolf's face will be priceless.”
Looks had prices? What were prices, and how would you know?
“Alright Doctor, but you get to explain your decision when he wakes up. I won't.”
Then Doctor Reg left with a wave, and Nurse Gracie settled into Randolf's chair to read. I snuggled in, listening, and feeling Randolf's heart thud in his chest. It was comforting.
This was not the darkness. I was being assaulted by things, images, sounds, many of which I did not know or could not have seen before. A part of me, the part of me more aware than anything else, knew this state as 'dreaming'. The rest of me had never dreamed before.
The largest part of me was trying to figure out what all the things I was seeing (experiencing) were. Lights and colors pinwheeled around, while spots appeared and disappeared. An old man appeared, a kindly grin on his face while waving an arm. A small dog, grungy and tongue lolling as it came to lick me. A much smaller doctor Reg, his face unlined.
Places too: an old white house, with a large yard. A small stream with fast flowing water. A striped tent, with animals I should recognize, but didn't. Streets lined with houses, stores, and buildings with other uses, including a place to feed cars.
The sounds were the worst; barking and bleating and guttural car noises, voices and bangs and yelling all combining with other, softer noises until I couldn't stand it anymore.
And then it all started fading away, into a single dot of existence, and the darkness started closing in. I tried to move, but could not. I tried to scream, but could not. I tried to open my eyes, but could not. And just as I was giving in to despair, all hope gone, everything came back with a rush.
“...ary? Mary? Can you hear me?”
Doctor Reg!
I flew to him, wrapping my arms around him so fast I swung us both around. He didn't fall however, and I remembered just in time I had to be gentle, so I eased up and dropped. I didn't let go.
“The dark came and I was so scared Doctor Reg! Then you came and made it go away!”
He put his hands into my hair. It felt nice.
“It's OK Mary. It's my fault, and I'm sorry. I should have realized how quickly you were using the electricity I gave you before. But it's fine. That darkness will never claim you again.”
The room came into focus around Doctor Reg, revealing Nurse Gracie and Fido standing to either side of me, amongst the things... machines? Of the tower where I first woke up. I had been brought here again, as the darkness had been about to claim me. I could hear a hum underneath the other sounds. And then nurse Gracie started laughing. I looked over at her, to find her pointing at doctor Reg.
“What?”
Doctor Reg's hair was standing up. How did he get it to do that? Normally it laid flat, but it was up in a ball around his head. Fido was laughing too, which was a weird sort of rasping wheeze. Nurse Gracie's hair was put up like normal. I waited, wondering if it would stand up to. When I first saw doctor Reg after all, his hair was normal, and then it stood up. It wanted to, for some reason, but why?
Randolph! If everyone else was here, then he was alone!
“Randolph!”
“He's fine, Mary. He's awake and waiting on us. Are you feeling alright? Ready to go down?”
I was, so I nodded. She led the way with Fido, and doctor Reg was behind me. The stairs were easier this time. My self worked better. I laughed as I touched nurse Gracie and Fido carefully, and then ran. I remembered this! It was a game, and I'd done it earlier, but I could remember... doing it with doctor Reg?
Yes, we used to do this in front of my house! Sometimes with more people, but often just the two of us! I looked back at doctor Reg, trying to make his hair flat again with his hands. How had he gotten so big? Something had happened to change him.
I felt like I almost knew what that something was, now. I was... more than I was before, somehow.
Randolph was in his bed, but awake and reading a book when I burst in. I made it all the way to him before nurse Gracie made it inside, and managed to carefully snuggle up to him and look in the book. There should be pictures in it, but there weren't.
“Don't pout Mary, I'll read to you later. How are you?”
I smiled and hugged him to show him I was fine.
"Right, you're fine. You gave us quite the scare."
Scare; what was scare?
"You just stopped," Randolf continued. "It took us a while to understand what was going on. The good doctor had to give you a little zap."
What was a zap? Did it matter? What was matter? Something... my head was crowding.
"I am... dizzy."
Randolf put his book down, and everyone looked at each other. I put my head on the bed, it felt better there.
Everyone moved, looming over the bed. "Are you alright, Mary?" Doctor Reg asked.
I had been asked again; was the answer different? "Yes. No?"
"Right. You don't feel well, then. Come on then, off to bed with you." Doctor Reg picked me up. I grabbed the cloth on the bed; covers? Blankets?
"No, Mary. We can't bother Randolf, he's healing. Don't worry, I'm sure nurse Gracie will stay with you."
I let go, and Doctor Reg swung me around slowly. Nurse Gracie came into view and smiled. "Sure, and I'll even read you a story."
My stomach made noise.
"Hm, are you hungry Mary?"
I think so. I nodded.
"Right, after dinner then. I'll just carry you to the kitchen."
I held on as Doctor Reg moved, shifting me around. He moved to the kitchen and got my food, and a something else for himself - something that made a crunch noise and spread everywhere. Nurse Gracie took some of them too and got little bits of them on her clothes.
"Dirty," I told her. I remembered the grass.
"Right you are, Mary."
I finished my food but my stomach was still making noise. "More."
Doctor Reg smiled and got another; Nurse Gracie wasn't smiling though. "That's 'more, please' Mary. Use all the words, you aren't Fido."
"Here you go, Mary." Doctor Reg said, handing me more food. He even put the sip-thing (the straw, that was what it was) in for me.
Wait. "Randolph. Is Randolph alone?"
"Yes he is Mary," Nurse Gracie said. "But he's fine. There is no reason at all to worry about him and... Mary, wait!"
"Mary." Doctor Reg said sternly. (Sternly? What was that?) "Not until you finish your meal."
I finished quickly and carefully put it back on the table, looking at Doctor Reg. He smiled so I ran; Randolph might be in trouble! If the darkness had tried to get me again, it might have tried to get him when I wasn't there to help.
"Mary, wait up!" Nurse Gracie yelled behind me.
But I wouldn't.
"Go ahead Grace, I'll clean up here." I heard Doctor Reg tell her and I heard her shoes tap quickly after me.
I made it to Randolph's door first of course and remembered to knock - gently.
"Yes?" Randolf said from inside; the darkness didn't have him!
Nurse Gracie tried to grab me, but I moved and climbed onto Randolph's bed.
"Oh, hello Mary. Here for the reading I owe you?"
I was, so I nodded.
"Sorry," Nurse Gracie said. Randolph made a gesture which I didn't know, a sort of wave. I repeated it, and Nurse Gracie smiled.
Then she frowned. "You, little miss, are not supposed to run down the halls. You could fall and hurt yourself.
"I'm sorry Nurse Gracie. But I had to make sure."
"That I wasn't asleep?" Randolph asked with a laugh. "Fat chance of that with all the excitement going on; you gave us quite a scare young lady."
What was a 'fat chance'? Was it different from another type of chance? I knew what a lady was, but what was young? What was a scare?
There was always more to know.
"Now, how would you like to hear me read some "Grendel"?
I nodded and fell over on the bed. It was soft.
"I guess that's a yes," Randolph said.
"Don't you think she's a little too... young for that?" Nurse Gracie asked.
"No, I don't, Randolph answered. "It's never too early for the classics."
"Perhaps not, but whether 'Grendel' is one of those classics is debatable."
"Please. That's like saying Salinger is bad."
I looked between them as they argued. They were talking about other I's, that was clear, but I didn't know them. Maybe I'd get to meet them some day... maybe even soon! I wonder if Doctor Reg will find them for me, or let me find them. To have this many other I's, there had to be more world out there to see.
I wondered how the other I's stayed away from the darkness; did they hug each other like we did? If not they should.
I opened my mouth to ask - but shut it with a clack as Randolph started to talk, his book held in front of him. He sounded completely different! More... more; it was weird and delightful. I rolled over to listen better.
Randolph told a story of an I who hated other I's. He hated them so much that he ate them. I didn't understand. Some of the words I did not understand.
"Grendel is wrong."
Randolph paused and looked over. "How so Mary?"
"Eating people is wrong."
"Yes, it is, Mary." Nurse Gracie said with a small smile.
I smiled back. "Where did the other I's go?" Grendel had them but they were not mentioned again.
"The other I's?" Randolph asked.
"The ones Grendel ate. Where did they go?"
Nurse Gracie frowned and looked mad. Randolph held his hands up then turned to me. "That's 'other people', not other I's. They were dead, Mary. When Grendel ate them, it killed them."
"Dead?" What was dead?
Randolph stopped. "Dead is um...."
"The darkness Mary," Nurse Gracie said. "When Grendel ate them, they went into the darkness, and never came back."
That...!
"Mary, Mary, stop screaming, it's just a story!" Nurse Gracie cried, hugging me. The Randolph hugged us both and we fell over.
"I'm sorry Mary, I should have read something else after all."
No, Randolph hadn't done anything wrong, it was Grendel. "Grendel is mean."
Just eating all the I's - all the people and sending them to the darkness was wrong.
"Yes," Randolph agreed as he moved away, back to his pillows. I wanted a pillow. "Grendel is mean. He's a monster that delights in hurting people. But he's also sad, too."
I felt my face scrunch up and wondered why it did that. "Why?"
"Well, we'll just have to read on to find out. Do you think you can handle that Mary, or should we stop? If we continue you'll have to promise not to scream anymore; after all, it's just a book, and nothing in it can hurt you." Randolph held up the book and shook it.
"I don't like Grendel," I told Randolph. Grendel was a... I didn't know what he was, but I didn't like it. What had Randolph called him? A monster?
"I know." He said.
Nurse Gracie moved too, but stayed close, her hand on my head.
"Okay. I'm sorry and I promise not to scream anymore."
Randolph nodded. "Okay, I'll start again then."
He looked from his book to me and I nodded. He changed his voice again, and Grendel was running around crying and eating people again. At least until he started to drop his book and do the thing with his mouth. I didn't know what it was, but I should know what it was.
"Mary, don't imitate other people's yawns, it's not polite." Nurse Gracie said with her mouth stretched open the same way Randolph's had been. It made her sound different.
"Why?"
"Because it makes other people yawn. Are you tired?"
I was not. "No."
"Well, Randolph and I are. So can we please get some sleep?"
I looked at Randolph and his eyes were closed, so I poked him.
"I'm awake Mary, but I'd rather not be; it's four in the morning."
What did this four in the morning have to do with anything? I looked around for it, but I couldn't find it, and it was dark outside so it wasn't morning.
"Come on Mary, just go to bed already," Randolph said. The yawn made him sound funny too.
"But...."
"It's fine Mary. Sometimes we need to face the darkness for a time. Everyone needs to for little while each day. Even Grendel needed to."
That was true; Grendel had stayed in the darkness often. "But it could take you!"
"That's just the risk we run Mary."
Well, that was just stupid.
"Come on Mary, let's at least brush our teeth and do the other things we need to do each night. Then if you still want to we can all come back here and pile on Randolph's bed."
"Hey now, there's no way that's going to work. My bed isn't big enough for all three of us." Randolf said.
Randolph's bed was very big. I could roll around on it.
"It is now," Nurse Gracie said. "You'll just have to deal with it."
"Whatever, I'm too tired to argue," Randolph said.
"You should brush your teeth too," I told Randolph. After all, he didn't want to lose teeth, did he?
"I already have, Mary."
Oh.
Nurse Gracie grabbed my hand and we went to my room. "Get your pajamas. Oh and some underwear too. We can put off the shower until morning, but you need to wear clean clothes when you can."
I pointed at Nurse Gracie's uniform.
"Yes, I know, me too. let's get your teeth brushed and your clothes on before we worry about me, okay?"
That seemed okay to me. I nodded.
I undressed first. I remembered something... toothpaste made a mess? Nurse Gracie looked at me, shook her head, and handed me my toothbrush.
"Try putting the paste on yourself? Just enough to cover the head."
Toothbrushes had heads too? But they didn't think, did they? I didn't want the toothbrush to think. What if it thought mean things about me? I put the toothbrush down and carefully held the toothpaste over it.
"That's it, Mary. That's enough, good job."
I hadn't even done anything and the toothpaste had come out. That was... easy?
"Alright, now gently brush the bristles across your teeth, front and back. I'll time you, okay?"
I nodded. I think I did well, but Nurse Gracie had to move the toothbrush for me once. She smiled, so I guess I didn't do too bad. I remembered how it felt so I could do it myself next time.
"Alright, now spit - into the sink Mary, I'm on to your shenanigans - and rinse with the water."
I dutifully spit in the sink. I didn't do it the way Nurse Gracie did... her moisture looked the same as mine, but it flew out, and mine didn't.
"Rinsing is taking a mouthful of water like this, and spitting it back into the sink to clean the toothpaste out of your mouth, like this." Nurse Gracie continued, and she demonstrated.
"You remember?" She asked after she was done. She even put a towel to her mouth.
I did, but I wanted to know what a shenanigan was. It was a funny sound, so it had to be something fun. I think that was how it worked. I grabbed Nurse Gracie's towel and put it to my mouth like she had; it dried everything when she grabbed it back and put it in my face harder.
"Silly kid. You have to get the corners. Oh, you think that's funny, do you?"
It was.
Nurse Gracie stopped and said. "Alright, enough of that. Put your pajamas on Mary, or Randolph will start without us."
Oh no! I hurried.
"Wait, stop a moment."
I stopped a moment, and was just about to start again when Nurse Gracie asked: "You don't have to go to the bathroom, do you?"
I thought a moment, then remembered what she was asking. "No?"
Nurse Gracie put a palm on her face. "Right, I'll just ignore that. Do me a favor... if you have to at some point and we're all still asleep, just come in here and do it, and then come back to bed, okay? I promise you we can be safe for a few minutes, alright?"
I nodded. If it made Nurse Gracie happy I would do it.
We went back to Randolph's room, and I went to bed. Randolph's eyes were closed, but they opened when I hugged him.
"Hello, Mary."
"Hello, Randolph."
"I'll be right back Mary. You got your pajamas on, and now it's my turn, okay? You keep Randolph company and I'll be back before you know it."
That was okay. Changing clothes was important; Nurse Gracie had told me so herself. I nodded.
"Gee, thanks, Grace." Randolph said.
Nurse Gracie went back out the door and I heard her walk off. Why did the sound lessen like that?
I could wonder about that later; Randolph had already closed his eyes again. I kept up my hug until Nurse Gracie returned with her pajamas on. Her pajamas were like mine, long and covered almost every body part. She got into the bed and I hugged her too.
"Thanks, Mary. Good night."
When Nurse Gracie closed her eyes, I did too. I listened to both Randolph and Nurse Gracie make noise through their mouths; neither were very loud, but Randolph was a bit louder. Wait, I was doing it too! It was... what was it... oh right. It was breathing air. We were all breathing.
And sound was carried in the air, that was why it could get softer....
I stayed in the darkness for a time, but I wasn't alone. I felt both of my friends with me, even if I couldn't see them. The darkness I could see was also not complete, there were things in it. A house which I had seen before... and a car that towered over me and screeched.
I woke to a noise. Both Randolph and Nurse Gracie were still next to me with their eyes still closed. I got up gently. The noise had movement to it; it got louder when I went in the direction of the window, so I went to the window and it stopped.
The noise was from a car. Not THE car, but a car. An I stepped out of it. "Sarah? Sarah?" She said. She looked all around on her way to the door, saying that word very loudly. Then she looked up and saw me.
"Sarah!"
I did not know that word, but she was looking at me, so I waved.
Who was Sarah? I didn't know an I called Sarah.
"Nurse Gracie, who is Sarah?"
Nurse Gracie didn't answer, she just made a noise.
A booming sound happened, three sharp booms that did that thing Doctor Reg and I had done with our voices before. In the hall I could hear Fido make screamy noises. He was getting louder.
I moved Nurse Gracie again; I was impatient, but I had to be gentle. "Nurse Gracie, who is Sarah?"
Nurse Gracie opened her mouth wide and made a noise, then opened her eyes. "AHH!" she yelled, and tried to move away. So I held on. I could hear Fido click-clack on the stone, and then he started screaming softer.
"Floor that way!"
"Jesus, Mary, you gave me a fright!" Nurse Gracie said (told me?) holding herself. Then she switched to me while asking: "Why did you wake me up, you little bundle of energy? Couldn't you sleep? It's only seven...."
What was Jesus?
"You forgot Joseph," Randolf said, making a noise like Nurse Gracie had and rolling over, away from us.
Joseph was a name. It sounded like a name. Who was Joseph?
"So why wake us, Mary? What's wrong? Can't you sleep just a little more?" Nurse Gracie asked, her mouth going wide again then clacking closed as she put a hand over it.
"Who is Sarah?"
More booms boomed. Nurse Gracie rose in an instant and shed the blankets, heading to the window. "Oh, shit."
That was one of the words!
Nurse Gracie turned and ran for the door. Which seemed like fun, but the blankets wouldn't let me go anymore. "Randolf, watch her! Slow her down, something!"
Nurse Gracie then shut the door, just as I got to it! My nose squished against the door as Randolf finally talked again.
"Wait, what?"
Randolf sounded like I did; how could he do that? What was it, the thing? Dis... dis... confused?
"Randolf, who is Sarah? Does Sarah here?"
Randolfs eyes got so big. How did he do that? "That's 'Does Sarah live here', and no she does not. Come away from the door please, and I'll read to you. Would you like me to finish Grendel, or read something a little more fun?"
I liked fun, but fun was outside the door, not in a stuffy old book full of darkness. Randolf was getting out of bed, making weird sounds. Good, he could join too! I let him get closer then I opened the door and went out; I left the door open because I didn't want Randolf to squish his nose. He might not like it. He didn't like squished hands.
Was it just Randolf? Nurse Gracie said some of the same things....
Dowwnnn the stairs, and I could hear a door open, then shut just as quickly. That was where the fun was, where a new other I was that I had not met before.
"Mary!"
Randolf was running, as expected, and behind him, Doctor Reg was too! Doctor Reg was even leaning forward and waving his arms! What a fun game!
My foot went off and I rolled down the stairs, which proved to be even faster! There was no way Randolf or Doctor Reg would catch me now, even if the room was spinning!
I found the door, but it wouldn't open.
"Mary, are you alright?!?"
"She's laughing doc, I'm pretty sure she's fine. Mary, come away from there!"
I could hear words on the other side of the door, but not what they were. There was a big piece of wood that went across the door, but it wasn't there now, it was placed to the side. Why wouldn't the door open? Did I have to try harder?
No, there was something else... the door handle?
Randolf reached me, and put his arms on me. "Got you! Now will you listen? Please?"
He was making a weird noise, sort of blowing like the wind did.
I always listened, so I nodded yes. "Door."
"It's locked, Mary, and Nurse Gracie didn't want you out there. So why don't we just go back upstairs and...
With a creak and a smaller boom, the handle turned and the door began to open. I helped it along, and heard Nurse Gracie clearly on the other side as she moved away from it.
"Ahh!" she said while taking quick steps.
And then I was out, in the bright and warm sunshine with a new other I.
An other I that was also playing a game! She stopped for a minute with her mouth open, and then wrapped herself around me as her eyes leaked. "Sarah! It is you!"
That wasn't how the game worked. "Mary."
The other I had yellow hair, and many lines and grooves on her face. Her blue eyes were blackened around the edge, and she like a bundle of sticks as she held on to me with great strength.
"Mary." I told her.
Randolf and doctor Reg came out. "Aw, crapsickle sticks." Doctor Reg said.
"What did you say, honey?" The other I asked, her arms still around me.
Nurse Gracie made a noise.
"Mary! My name is Mary!"
The other I stopped and looked right at me. "No, your name is Sarah, and you are my daughter."
Doctor Reg and Nurse Gracie stepped close, and grabbed her arms. "No, Mrs Jacobs, Mary is Mary, and she's very confused about who you are and why you're here."
They helped Mrs Jacobs off and away from me, which was good because I didn't want to hurt her. From the noises she was making, it would have been worse if I'd done it.
"No! Noooo! Let go! You... quack! That's my daughter!"
What was a daughter? I didn't think I was one, something seemed wrong about that, but I didn't know what.
"I told you Mrs. Jacobs, that if you saw her again, it wouldn't be her inside. I explained that quite clearly. Your daughter... She isn't here, and you know it."
Mrs. Jacobs wriggled. "No! She's right there!"
Birds flew, I think because she was so loud? "No, I'm Mary. Who is Sarah?"
She looked at me. Really looked, and she saw me at last, I could tell. Even as her eyes leaked, she stopped wriggling and smiled at me.
"So I see. Mary, right?"
I nodded.
"My name is Erica. You can call me Erica."
"Okay!"
I was outside. I was outside in the sunshine, and everyone was here. Even Fido was here, to the side, watching everything. So the game had to cont... keep going!
"Mary!" Randolf said, really loud, and the birds flew again. I could hear him as he came after me, feet pounding in the grass.
More feet in the grass, as Fido came along, and I could hear Nurse Gracie whisper something from right behind me!
"Gonna catch you!" Fido told me. "She's right behind you!"
I looked and she was there! I could reach out and touch her! I had to get away!
She reached out and poked me. "Tag, you're it!"
I stopped and then fell over. "Haaaa." I could do the thing Randolf did without trying! That was...odd?
Nurse Gracie had bare feet. I had bare feet! Oh no, Nurse Gracie would get mad! She sat next to me, and didn't seem to care.
Erica and Doctor Reg were talking, but I couldn't hear what they were saying. Erica still had leaking eyes, but she was nodding along to whatever Doctor Reg was saying, biting on her hand. Wouldn't that hurt?
"Mary, don't bite your hand. You could hurt yourself."
I thought so!
I stopped, but Erica didn't. She must not be able to hear Nurse Gracie. Randolf slumped beside me, a hand draped over me as he made more wind noises. "I am out of shape."
Randolf had a shape. it was like the others I's I knew. What did he mean?
"Not your fault. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you to try and hold on to her. You're better, but you're not well."
I think they are talking about me. But why? I was right here.
"She took a tumble down the stairs, but jumped right back up. I think she got a little... better."
Nurse Gracie turned to me, and gave me a look I didn't like. "oh, really? Fell down the stairs, you say? Could it be she wasn't careful?"
Why did Randolf tell? We were having fun!
"Oh my, she's not happy with me at all."
He knew, but I decided to tell him anyway. "Jerk move."
"Jerk... move?" Nurse Gracie asked.
I nodded. "Fun game, and now Mary is in trouble."
Nurse Gracie hugged me. "He's just worried about you. No one here wants you to get hurt."
"But I didn't?" Did people get hurt so easily? I did not. Would Nurse Gracie, or Randolf? Doctor Reg?
"Yes Mary, we avoid trying to dive headfirst down staircases."
I shook my head and pointed to my feet, putting one of the other. "That happened."
"You tripped over your own feet?"
Randolf made it sound bad. I nodded. "Sometimes they... don't work?"
Nurse Gracie nodded. "Excellent, Mary. That was a good sentence and an adequate explanation."
I paid attention, I might need that speech later.
"Well, Lucky for us, you didn't break anything. You bounced right back up... did you really not feel it?"
Feel... feel... "I did feel it, but it didn't feel bad."
"You mean it didn't hurt, don't you Mary?"
I nodded. Hurt was the right speech.
"Regardless, you could have gotten hurt. Neither of us want that." Nurse Gracie made a wind noise. "Mary, this isn't the first time your feet have gotten crossed, right?"
I looked at my feet. Maybe they were the real jerks! I shook my head.
"Right, so maybe you shouldn't try to go so fast in the castle? It's made of stone, and stone can be very painful to run into. It can hurt a lot, and make other things not work. Since we don't want that for you, how about you just run like that out here in the grass? Away from the stone and the trees?"
Nurse Gracie's arm swept the hill and field beyond. I looked.
"I... okay." It was to keep me from getting hurt? Could Randolf or Nurse Gracie get hurt like that too? They moved fast when I moved fast, could their feet cross too?
"I'm sorry!"
"Oof! Mary, it's fine, so long as you understand. You can let me up now, I need to make breakfast."
My tummy made noises. So did Randolf's. Nurse Gracie frowned at us until her tummy made noises too. Then she laughed.
I like to laugh.
We all got up; I helped Randolf. Fido jumped around us, still laughing, as we went slowly back to the door.
"When we're done with breakfast Mary, we can all come outside and play. Well Randolf probably won't, but I bet we can get the Doctor to fill in."
Randolf looked... hurt? No, not that. Something. I tugged on his arm, gently and he smiled down at me, but he didn't look smiley.
"Sorry Mary, I'm a bit tired. I don't know how you and Grace do it."
Tired, that was it! But how do I um, answer this? What could I do?
That was it! I patted his hand. "It's okay, I forgive you."
Randolf made noises with his mouth that I didn't know, and Nurse Gracie laughed.
"Well done, Mary! Excellent acceptance of an apology! You remembered that from somewhere."
I hugged Nurse Gracie. She always seemed to understand me.
Randolf just made grumbly sounds.
"....I told you not to accept their calls." Doctor Reg said as we got close.
"I know, but I just... They said she was... active, and I had to see." Erica said.
Doctor Reg turned to us. "Breakfast time?"
Nurse Gracie nodded. "I'll get right on it, Doctor."
"Erica, would you like to join us? You haven't eaten yet, have you?"
Erica was looking at me again, with her leaky eyes. "I'd love to."
"Come on Mary, let's go first. You can watch me cook again. Randolf can you do me a favor and set the dining room before you go back to sleep?"
I liked watching Nurse Gracie cook.
"Sure, I can do that. But I won't set a place for myself."
Nurse Gracie smiled back at Randolf. "That's fine, I'll save it in the fridge for later."
We went into the kitchen, where the dangerous stuff I couldn't touch was. Nurse Gracie was amazing because she could, and knew what everything did.
"If you want to watch, Mary, you sit right in that chair. No, the one against the wall. You stay put right there, and you'll be away from anything dangerous."
I nodded. Nurse Gracie knew how to deal with the dangerous things in the kitchen, and I did not. I wondered why the kitchen was called the kitchen again. I would ask later.
The box that made heat and sometimes fire was called the oven. I remembered. Nurse Gracie put the kettle on it, and grabbed a pan... no, a skillet? Why was it called a skillet? It was different from the other pans, or it wouldn't have its own name. Not as tall? That could be it!
Nurse Gracie grabbed some things from the 'fridge' box, and broke them in the skillet. Then she washed her hands. Then she turned the fire on, and soon things began to sizzle. I swung my feet around but stayed in the chair.
Doctor Reg came in and began putting water in his thing. The cof... coffee maker! It made mud that didn't taste like mud, but I was told not to drink any. He left while the thing worked.
I wanted to try it, and Fido told me he would get me some later, but Nurse Gracie was around all the time so he hadn't yet.
I could hear Randolf in the room down the hall, the one we never used, setting up dishes. Why there, when we normally had food here? Wait, there were three chairs here... and Nurse Gracie, Doctor Reg, Erica, and Mary was four people. So we needed more space!
The stuff in the skillet continued to sizzle. The smell was a memory, too. Eggs? Chicken eggs. There was also a better smell, a more... a more yummy smell. That one I didn't know. There was so much I didn't know, and it was awful.
But I knew that I knew so little, and that was more than before. I could look out now for things I didn't know.
I waited. Nurse Gracie would want us all to eat together, I was sure of it. Even if my food didn't take as long to pre... prep... deal with.
Nurse Gracie was moving a flat thing around in the black skillet with quick motions. She pulled the skillet up and took the flat thing out and the eggs were stuck on it. She flipped them and went back to poking at it.
That was so great! It flew into the air, and back into the skillet! No spills!
"Oh you liked that, did you Mary?"
Nurse Gracie knew because I was laughing. She was laughing too. Even Fido was smiling; Fido always smiled.
Nurse Gracie flipped the eggs again, they were solid now and mostly flat. I clapped as she put them on a plate. She smiled, then added the other things I'd been smelling. Small flat brown things that made a "sss" noise.
They stopped once out of the skillet though.
Nurse Gracie started all over again. I watched. If I kept watching, I would know how to do it myself.
There was more to this, these... actions. Would I know it all when the time came?
I watched more.
My tummy was rolling around inside me by the time Nurse Gracie was done, and she grabbed the massive flat thing... plate full of flat eggs and went into the hall.
"Mary, could you carry that other plate please? The one with the sausage on it?"
That must be the other flat things. I grabbed the plate and followed.
Doctor Reg passed me, with one eyebrow higher than the other. "Be careful Mary, it would be a shame if you dropped the sausage."
I was careful. I set the plate down next to Nurse Gracie's and she helped me move it. "Now come on, let's get yours. You've been very patient, and we're almost ready now."
I followed Nurse Gracie again, and we passed doctor Reg again. He had the coffee in one hand, and a plate of... bread in the other hand.
Nurse Gracie got my food out of the fridge, and my straw, and a knife. She wouldn't let me help with that, but she let me carry all the bottles of water, which was harder than it looked.
Fido followed us, but he didn't help at all, he just smiled at us.
I put the water at the places Randolf had set up. Now I knew why Randolf wanted to go. This took too long!
"Thank you... Mary." Erica took her water, took the very hard top off, and ate some.
"You are welcome!" I remembered this, it was manners.
I waited while everyone sat down and got their food. Nurse Gracie did not want me to use sharp things yet, or make a mess. Nurse Gracie got to my plate and set a clear tall cup on it. "We're going to try from a glass this time, and not the bag. It's more polite. You'll still have a straw though, and you better use it."
I nodded. I would try not to be messy, I already said I would before!
Nurse Gracie used the knife so well nothing spilled, and she filled the glass (a new word, I remember!). Then with the 'plunk' sound of a straw in the glass, my breakfast was ready. Nurse Gracie then put the cloth around my front so I wouldn't make a mess of my clothes.
Erica looked at my food. "Is that...?"
"It is. It is the only thing Mary can eat or drink aside from water, as her stomach doesn't actually work yet." Nurse Gracie said.
That's right, it's my food, and you can't get any, you have your own!
"Quit pouting Mary, she doesn't want your food, nice as it is. She was just curious."
What was curious? Had I been told before?
I used the straw and while it was cold, it was good.
"So how does she..?" Erica asked. She was bad at asking questions.
"We think it pools in her, where it is broken down and used to rebuild by Mary herself."
Was I doing that? I don't remember doing that, and I don't have any idea how I would. Don't you need a hammer to build stuff?
"Mary herself?"
"You know. You've seen her." Nurse Gracie said, before opening her water and taking a small drink.
Erica looked back at me. "Right, the... young lady herself."
I smiled at her, and she moved back, turning to her old food. Just like Nurse Gracie had before, so maybe that was normal to seeing my tasty food. But it was not the same as the other I's food. Maybe they didn't think it was tasty? But it was!
"How do you get it?" Erica asked.
"Donations mostly," Doctor Reg said. "Everyone here who can contributes, and I've also got a deal with the local clinic. I believe that batch is my own from some days ago."
"And you're okay with that? What if she decides she likes the taste?" Erica asked.
I dont get it. Of course I like it, or I wouldn't be eating it!
"There is almost no risk of what you propose, and I would not stop even if there were. You know what is at stake here, Mrs. Jacobs. You of all people understand what is at stake here."
What is a stake? Did I see it and just not know?
"I'll explain later, Mary." Nurse Gracie said.
She was giving Doctor Reg the same look she gave me when I fell down the stairs. Doctor Reg moved a bit back and ate a piece of brown thing.
Doctor Reg made a noise, then said: "Right, Mary, would you like some more?"
I blinked and looked down. My food was gone! How had that happened? When had that happened? I nodded.
"Go ahead. Nurse Gracie, if you would?"
Nurse Gracie looked down at her own food. She wasn't done!
"Come on Mary, let's go into the kitchen this time. Grab your glass and carry it carefully."
What was the word? I couldn't remember! I pointed at her plate, and Nurse Gracie smiled. "Don't worry Mary, I can finish it later."
Nurse Gracie grabbed my hand and we walked out. She went first and I had to hold my glass with one hand.
"Normally Mary, you'd only get one glass, because it's very important that you don't overeat. But after last night, both Doctor Reg and I think you could use a little more, just this once. It might hasten your recovery."
Has-ten? Recovery? No, don't get distracted.
"Stake?"
"Oh, that's what you were worried about? It means a vested interest. Hm, like you have a stake in what goes on in the kitchen. You want to know what happens because you live here."
Erica didn't live here. Would Erica start living here?
"Erica?"
Nurse Gracie made a wind noise. "Her stake here is a little different, but she and the Doc are friends. She gave Doctor Reg a few things in return for his help with an experiment, and it didn't pay off for her. So she's sad about that."
Nurse Gracie used her other arm to move her hair up and away from her head then looked down at me and said it again. "Just a little sad. Nothing to worry about."
"Has-ten?"
"It means to speed up, Mary. To move faster."
I liked new words. "Recovery?"
"It means to get better. Pretty soon, you'll know more than me, but you lost some of that when you took so long to wake up. In your case, recovery means you'll get all that back."
So recovery meant I would know everything, just like I had before. I didn't remember knowing everything before, but maybe I had.
Nurse Gracie smiled, and I could feel myself smiling back.
I sat down at the table and handed my glass over. Nurse Gracie grabbed more food from the fridge and filled it, and I was... happy, eating away. The taste was... great. It was great!
"Finish up Mary, then we can go play again if you want."
I nodded. I would like that very much.
......
Grace sipped her coffee, a long and leisurely filled sip. Outside she could see Mary and Fido running around the yard, playing tag. For now, it was enough to keep the little bundle of lightning occupied.
"So, did you get through to her?"
Doctor Reginald Stutz, her erstwhile boss, sipped his coffee alongside her. "I think so. She seems to realize that while the body is the same, the soul, the person, is different. I doubt she will give up all claim, but for now, she won't be doing anything court enforced."
Grace scoffed. "As if she has a legal leg to stand on. Her daughter is dead, and has been for a decade."
Doctor Stutz's answer was both instant and stern. "Be that as it may, I won't antagonize her. It is because she took a risk with me, that we got Mary."
"I didn't mean it like that, and you know it," Grace replied. "It's just been a bad day. Waking up at seven am after staying up till four because she decided on a surprise visit didn't help."
"She didn't really have a choice. The others put her up to it; dropped a word or two in her mouth and let her imagination fill in the blanks."
"What do you intend to do about them?" Gracie asked. There would be trouble either way, she was sure of it.
"I don't know, but it's pretty clear something needs to be done. Something proactive. I might call him in on it.
There was only one 'him', and Grace had to work to keep the distaste off her face. "Are you sure you want to do that? The cost... "
Doctor Stutz turned to her. "The cost will be more than I want to pay, certainly. But he will be involved eventually regardless of what I do, and his involvement would stop the others cold, one way or the other. None of us will even need to dirty our hands."
"I don't like it."
Doctor Stutz sighed. "I know, and I don't either, but you know who they are as well as I do. They broke in here, and they will do it again. Unless they are convinced otherwise, of course."
Outside, it seemed the games were winding down. "Alright, it's your call to make, both literally and figuratively. I'll go get the little bundle of energy and see if I can convince her to sleep."
"What a great idea, we could all use some. I'll try and get him to set a time, this time."
"Thanks, that would make my job easier. Say, sir..."
"Doc is fine Grace, I've told you that. what is it?"
Grace smiled, an impish grin. "Sir, how close is she?"
Doctor Stutz paused a moment - a long moment that was just one side of uncomfortable - before answering. "She is very close. Some things are different, and of course she's not as mature, but it's easy to see the person I once knew. We have succeeded in that much, at least."
Grace bowed on her way out the door. "I see. Thanks for sharing with me."
The darkness let me go, and I my face moved when I found the light. A smile? A smile, yes... I greeted the light surrounding everything that was with a smile.
But something was different. I was different. I knew what different was, and that I was - different that is. I knew more from before, and I knew that I did.
My bed was empty, but not empty because I was in it. Nurse Gracie had been here last night, reading me a story. I looked at the book, and the writing was still squiggles. I put the book down and went under the warm blankets again. Why were blankets warm, and other things were not?
The door made noise - that meant someone was hitting it.
The someone was Nurse Gracie. "Mary, are you awake?"
I made noise, I couldn't help it. It was the same noise that Nurse Gracie had made before when I moved her.
"I heard that! I'm coming in!"
Nurse Gracie took the blankets away, and she had a smile. She held out a... hand? A hand.
"Come on, let's get you cleaned up."
I was different. I let Nurse Gracie pull me up, and followed. In the room of baths, I took my clothes off as she did the same. We cleaned up here... why? There was a thing, a reason, but it was gone as soon as I saw it. But not saw it, there was another speech... it too was gone.
I couldn't stop another sound, and Nurse Gracie turned from the water to me, with no smile. "What's wrong Mary?"
I worked to find the speech, and my hands worked too. Why were they doing that? I had not told them to do that. Had I?
"Mary?"
Nurse Gracie wanted speech. Speech I did not know. "Things... speech. There but then gone. I don't... Mary doesn't...."
Nurse Gracie grabbed me, and it felt nice. "Its okay. Just take your time and work it out when you can. You can take forever if you need to."
Forever... something... I knew that word, somehow. It was an amount or something. I knew things. Why did I know these things? I had been, I had lived before. I knew these things then.
Yes, I had lived before. There was I before! That was... something.
Nurse Gracie helped me wash up, and I helped her too. Why were people not able to wash easily? Why was washing something I's did? So many things to know. Hands needed to work in other ways.
"Mary, don't do that, you'll break something - you'll hurt your hand, and then it won't work for awhile."
What? It could do that? That was bad, so I stopped.
Nurse Gracie said something about 'needing pain' very softly. Was she trying not to let me hear?
Nurse Gracie grabbed the water-thing and sprayed me; her hand near my... face. The Water did not get to my... something. The stuff I used to see, and that was why I could still see. Seeing was believing - and other things.
Nurse Gracie finished wiping the stuff out of my... hair, and stood up, out of reach. That was no fair, since I couldn't help her!
"What's wrong, Mary?"
I... what was the speech? I put my hand where Nurse Gracie had, and moved my hand.
Nurse Gracie knew anyway. "Oh its fine Mary, I know how to do this part myself. If you watch carefully, you can learn to do it too."
So I looked (watched) as Nurse Gracie moved her hands over the top of her head, in her... hair. While pointing her... smile up. She turned off the water and got a towel from the ones next to us, and used it on herself first. Then she threw it into the corner of the room, and got a... second one? Second one.
That one was for I. Nurse Gracie ran the cloth over me, top first. It felt nice. "Got a big day today, Mary. We're going to have another guest."
A guest? What was a guest? I felt like I should know....
"Don't worry Mary," Nurse Gracie kept speeching. "You'll like Isiah. He's a bit serious, but he will play with you if you ask."
I liked playing... I think? Was that the word? Yes, Nurse Gracie had used the word yesterday, when we... tagged. Played tag? Yes, that was right.
Nurse Gracie was right! Today would be a big day!
Nurse Gracie grabbed me. "Oh no little miss. Clothes first, then you can go outside."
Oh, right. Clothes. Nurse Gracie pulled something over my head... a dress? Right, a dress. I was wearing dresses now and had been since I knew. This one was a color that I did not know.
I looked to the other colors, those around me. They were not the same. The socks Nurse Gracie grabbed from the same chair the dress came from, those were the same. One for each foot. Why only two feet? Why only feet? So much to... know, right. So many questions.
Nurse Gracie grabbed my hand and took me to the bed. She put me on it, and I looked as she put my socks on. So I would know how to do that too. Then she put more clothes on me, some small thing that went between my legs. She pulled it up until it stopped, and then nodded to herself.
"There, all done except for your boots. Stay there while I get them please, Mary."
I would stay; if I did, maybe I could stay on the bed longer. Something... it felt. It felt nice, that was it.
Nurse Gracie finished doing my boots though, and moved to pull me up. She could not. "Come on, Mary. Let's go get breakfast."
Breakfast... food. Food sounded... good to me. I wanted food so I let Nurse Gracie move me from the bed. Nurse Gracie almost fell, but she held on to me.
I... me... my lower part made noise. It really wanted food.
I wanted to meet the other I. Meeting other I's was always fun.
Nurse Gracie pulled me along, and I was happy to go. I didn't want to go ahead or stay behind; I could hurt Nurse Gracie if I tried.
We made it to the food room, and Nurse Gracie took me to my chair. Doctor Reg was already there, eating something with a fork. I did not need a fork; that was because my food was not like doctor Reg's food.
Nurse Gracie took... no, grabbed my food from the box of food and put the straw in. Straw? Yes, straw... that was the word. Straw also meant something else; an...image of a long yellow thing came to me; that was also straw.
Maybe they were both straw because they resembled each other? Both were long and thin, only the color was different.
Nurse Gracie handed me the.. bag, yes bag, with the straw in it. I did what I was supposed to and sucked on the straw. The food flowed into... me, yes that was right, and I did something to gulp it down. Something I didn't need to wonder about doing, it just happened. It was cold.
Then there was no more, the red color almost gone and the bag mostly empty.
I wanted more. "Nurse Gracie."
She turned from her own food, which was like doctor Reg's food. I hadn't seen her eat before, and she did the deed like doctor Reg did. "Yes Mary?"
I held out the bag. "More?"
Doctor Reg dropped his fork. That was... clumsy of him. Yes, clumsy.
"I don't think I should give you more Mary, your stomach can only hold so much of that at a time. Too much might be bad for you."
But it was good! It helped, I could tell it helped. I was... better.
No, Nurse Gracie knew more. She could be right, despite the goodness. I gave up and instead threw the bag where it was to go when empty.
"Well done, Mary. Thank you for throwing it away."
She smiled at me - beamed a smile at me, so I beamed one back at her. I liked smiles, they could be everywhere in an instant.
Still, I wanted more. More of something.
"Don't pout Mary, its unbecoming." Nurse Gracie said, in between bites.
I didn't know what unbecoming meant, but Nurse Gracie made it sound like a bad thing. Something I didn't want.
But what was pout, and how did I stop it? Nurse Gracie hadn't said.
Nurse Gracie bobbed her head. "That's better."
I did not understand.
"How about something else, Mary? A different kind of food?"
I wanted it!
Doctor Reg walked over to a different box, and opened that up. He took out a... box, yes, a box, pulled another, smaller straw from the side of it, and put the straw in. Then held it out to me.
"Try this."
I took the box and sucked on the straw... and something, a different color, a different... exploded into me. It was.. good. It was something I needed, something I wanted.
Doctor Reg could tell. "You like it Mary? It's called grape juice."
I nodded. "I like it."
I wanted more, but I felt something. Too much. I walked over and held the box over where the bag was.
"That's right, Mary. Throw it in." Doctor Reg said with a smile.
I beamed a smile back at him and threw it in. It bounced, then settled on top of the bag.
"You need not throw quite so hard, Mary. A simple toss will do," Nurse Gracie told me.
"We will work on it Mary. That is where trash goes. Trash are things that have no use or function anymore. That box and bag are empty, so their usefulness has ended."
Couldn't they do other things? Couldn't the box and bag hold other things?
"She doesn't like that answer, Doctor." Nurse Gracie said.
"I know, it is a bad answer... but both of them are dirty now. They have some of the darkness in them. No, no! Not that bad. Just a little bit... not enough to hurt anyone, unless you use them again."
I was against the cool stone, as far away from the darkness things as I could get. Doctor Reg moved his hands at me.... he was gesturing. Yes, gesturing me closer. "It's alright Mary, these things cant hurt you. See how close I am? They can't hurt you."
Nurse Gracie gave Doctor Reg a look. I wasn't sure what it meant, but I knew it meant something. Why did it mean something?
"It's ok Mary," she said. Then she touched the box! "See? No harm done. It only happens if you use it again."
I grabbed her hand, moving it away. She seemed fine, there was no blackness there; just fingers.
Nurse Gracie beamed another smile down at me: "See? it's fine."
What was the proper response? "Yes."
Nurse Gracie pulled against my hand, so rather than hurt her I let her go. She smiled more, and that was great. Smiles meant a person was happy. I wanted Nurse Gracie to be happy.
Why did I want Nurse Gracie to be happy?
That was an odd thought. A weird thought. Maybe a bad thought? Why would it be a bad thought? What was a bad thought? What was thought?
I knew that one. Thought was what I was doing now. It was words in my head... or more.
"Mary, are you okay?" Nurse Gracie asked.
I was okay. "Yes!"
Nurse Gracie smiled again.
The door made noise again, just like yesterday. Yes, yesterday. There was a yesterday!
Fido made a dog noise. "Woof, woof."
I could tell he was down the hall... and what a dog noise was. Why did dogs make that noise? Why did Fido make that noise?
He was responding to the door noise. That was it! Another... awareness? No that wasn't right, but it was all I had... another awareness of how the world worked. Dogs responded to other sounds with sounds.
Humans did too, but their sounds made more sense?
Maybe the dogs made sense too, if I could speak dog. I already knew that Fido said 'woof'. Woof might mean 'person here'?
I wanted to ask Nurse Gracie, but she was already moving on her way to the door.
I wasn't being held this time! I followed, and Doctor Reg didn't stop me. Neither did Randolph. Where was Randolph? I hadn't seen him yet today. Yes, today was today, or now.
He was probably in his room. Was he alright? Had he eaten food yet?
Had the little darkness let him go yet?
Or had it got him?
No, I needed to know, now. I didn't want to lose another other I to the darkness. Randolph even read me stories! I wanted more of those. But a new other I was here, on the other side of the big door. What to do?
Doctor Reg was behind me. I pointed back, to Randolph's door. Doctor Reg looked that way, then shook his head.
"What is it, Mary? You know the words. Tell me."
"Randolph."
Doctor Reg stopped. "What about Randolph, Mary?"
I couldn't stop. What were the words? Ah! "Check on," and the most important word. "Please."
"There is no need for that, Mary. Randolph is fine. Simply sleeping. Here, I'll prove it to you."
Doctor Reg started moving again, and pressed the thing on his wrist. "Randolph, are you okay?"
A voice came out of the thing. A voice I recognized: "I'm fine doctor, what's up?"
Randolph's voice sounded different, but I knew it was him.
"Mary was worried about you, and wanted me to check on you."
"Well that is sweet," Randolph said through the thing again. "but you can tell her I'm fine. No problems here. You going to answer that knocking?"
"We are on our way now," Doctor Reg said.
"Good, it's an...." Randolph's voice stopped.
Still, he said he was fine. Fine was a word meaning well, or okay. I could go to the big door without worry. Worry? Yes that was the right word. Concern for or over another.
Nurse Gracie reached the big door at the bottom of the stairs and stuck her face close to it for a moment. That was... I don't know what that was, but it allowed me to catch up without doing my stair trick; Nurse Gracie did not approve of my stair trick.
Stairs were difficult. Doctor Reg slowed to grab me by an arm. Yes, an arm - that was another good word.
Doctor Reg pulled, slowing me down. He made a face too, one that I wanted to do too. I thought I was doing it right, then he smiled. Smiles were the best.
Nuse Gracie opened the door as we got to the bottom of the stairs. On the other side of it...
Was another I. My size, not Nurse Gracie or Doctor Reg size. He was a he, I was sure, and he was thin, with black hair, a white (but not as white as mine) body, and blue eyes.
Blue eyes that seemed to see everything, all in a moment. He was dressed in a smaller coat like Doctor Reg's, and had tan pants on with a shirt the color of the sky. Blue, yes. All these words! I had so many words now, all mine!
His blue eyes snapped to me and he looked for a long time. "Holy shit Doc, you actually did it. I saw the data and footage, but I half thought you were screwing with me. Well done."
Doctor Reg let go of my hand and stood up straight. "I would never lie to my sponsors, especially one as important as you."
What was a sponsor? What was especially?
The other I turned to me again, and grabbed some kind of thing from his coat. He got closer.
I moved behind Nurse Gracie; this other I... there was something about him.
"You're scaring her," Nurse Gracie said. What was scaring?
"My bad," the other I said. "My name is Isaac, and you're Mary. It's nice to meet you. I'm not going to hurt you, okay? This..." He moved his thing in front of him; it looked like a box! "This won't hurt you at all. I'm just going to wave it in front of you. Like this."
He moved it back and forth.
Nurse Gracie moved away, but grabbed my hand. "Don't worry Mary, he won't hurt you. It'll be alright."
I remembered... remembered! Another good word! I remembered not to squeeze, as Nurse Gracie would get hurt if I did.
"Okay... so we've got electrical activity, and it looks to be mirroring neural activity, but its weirdly diffused... the body is two full degrees above room temperature, which implies some form of heat generation. Eyes show a pupillary response and the body is upright and moving."
What did it all mean?
"It means you're alive, Mary." Isaac said. "Wow, she's very expressive, Doc. No filter at all."
"I know. We're all very proud."
Isaac got closer. "You can see the gears turn, too. Something is going on up there. Well, not up there exactly, around there, but...."
The box was right in front of me. I knocked it away, gently. "Play."
Other I's my size should play. They should play with me.
Isaac picked his box up. It didn't have the darkness in it, but had colored lights instead. "Play, huh? Sure. But can we play the games I know?"
I only knew tag, so new games were a good thing. Weren't they? "Yes!"
"Great!" Isaac said with a faint smile. "But we can't play them here. We need to go upstairs, to the lab."
That was... fine, yes fine with me! I knew where the lab was!
"Mary, slow down!" Nurse Gracie said.
I passed Fido on the stairs. "Woof," he said.
"Oh hey Fido, how's it going?"
"Can't really complain," Fido replied. (replied was a word!) "Oh wait, yes I can. When are you going to make a real body for me?"
"When I find the time," Isaac replied. "Until then, you'll just have to hang out. Maybe if you ask real nice the Doc will take a second stab at it?"
Fido gave Isaac a look, a weird look. "I think I'll pass on that, thanks."
Doctor Reg gave them both a weird look too, but he didn't say anything.
Isaac led us all up the stairs again, and he knew the way because we kept going. "How are you, Grace?" He said... no, asked. He asked!
"I've been well," Nurse Gracie answered. Why would she answer that? She was Nurse Gracie, not this Grace person!
Unless... she was both? Could she be both, somehow? Something told me she could.
"And Randolph? Phil?" Isaac asked.
"Both well, or as well as can be, given their circumstances. Both are stable, at least." Nurse Gracie answered.
"That's good," Isaac said. "Let me know if that changes, I'll help."
"Despite what you think Isaac, I am not...." Doctor Reg said.
"I know Doc, you do your best, and your best is good. However, we both know I'm better, when I have time. For your projects, for your data, I can make time. That's all I'm saying. You got some nice people around you; you want to do right by them, don't you?"
Do right by them? What did that mean? It meant something important... but what?
Doctor Reg made a noise. "I just don't appreciate the sentiment, Isaac."
"I know Doc, and I am cheating in a way, but... well, you can handle it. The important thing is the goal, isn't it?"
What was a goal?
"You know it is," Doctor Reg responded... responded! "The goal is more important than any amount of petty ego. On that, we can both agree."
What was ego? Ego was something... bad, I think? Maybe?
Isaac turned around, still moving... walking? Yes, walking on the stairs. "It's okay Doc, I didn't mean what you think I meant by it. I'm even less good with people than you are. Got to remember."
Then he looked at me. "She okay?"
"She has trouble with stairs. For some obvious reasons, she's not the most agile of us." Nurse Grace answered.
Then she turned to me, and held out her hand. "One hand on the rail there, and give me the other Mary. I'll help you."
Nurse Gracie wanted my hand... but should I let her have it? I needed it!
I took her hand, and she helped pull me up. So that was what she wanted? All she wanted? She would have to do something to keep my hand, and she wasn't.
We walked around the rest of the way in silence. Doctor Reg moved past Isaac at the landing. He pulled out a metal stick he had and put it in the door. The door opened with a click, and he gestured.
Isaac went in first, and Doctor Reg followed. Then Nurse Gracie helped me up and in, and Fido followed us all. Fido didn't close the door - because Fido didn't have hands.
Just as I thought, hands were important. Nurse Gracie already had her own though!
Maybe I could talk to Doctor Reg, and get him to give Fido some hands. Hands were useful.
"Come on Mary, come up here." Doctor Reg said.
Here was the table I was normally on when in the lab; doctor Reg was waiting with a smile. I walked (Walked!) up and doctor Reg put me up on the table; why was his face red?
I was on the table. I could kick my feet, but I did not, because I had been told not to do that and I remembered. I wanted to.
Isaac moved close and he put some sort of thing near my eyes; it hurt. Then he pulled a pen from his coat, and wrote on... a piece of paper? Yes, it was paper. Pens were used on paper, and nothing else. I remembered.
Isaac pulled another thing from his coat. It was a box, and made of wood. It had some... markings on it.
"The goal, is to make the markings match. You twist the box around like so," He said, demonstrating. "Gently, because breaking it ruins the game. The fastest one to solve it, to get all the designs right, wins."
Designs, not markings... twisting, not moving. Or a type of moving? Something.
Isaac held the box out and I took it, carefully. "Now, I'm going to be doing other things while you take your turn. You know what turns are, right?"
I nodded. I knew what turns were. Nurse Gracie and I took turns for showers. So I would go first.
"Some of the things I do will be to you. Nothing bad, so don't let it bother you, and don't let it stop you, okay? This game is all about speed."
I nodded again. I would do my best!
"Okay, go!"
I shifted the first panel, slowly and carefully at first to make sure I didn't break it. To break it was to lose. Slow and careful would... something.
Isaac put a thing around my arm, and used his hand to make it squeeze me. That was easy to ignore. Whatever he wanted, he did not get; he looked.. mad. Yes, mad, that was it.
The next thing he did was grab a thing, a sharp thing, pull up my clothes and jab me with it!
That was unfair!
"Mary, Mary, its okay! Its okay!" Nurse Gracie said.
"Whoa, she felt that?" Isaac asked.
Doctor Reg was mad too. "Of course she felt it. You need to warn us, she could have...."
Who? Which she could have?
It didn't matter. "You're a jerk."
"Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Isaac said. "I'll make it up to you with another game, okay?"
That was okay.
Isaac was looking at the sharp thing in his hand; it was full of black stuff. Was that stuff inside me? How was it inside me? That sharp thing was for bringing stuff inside a person out, I knew that....
Was it the darkness?
"Darkness?"
"No Mary, it's dark, but not the darkness. This is you. Or a piece of you, anyway. Don't worry, I'll be giving it back to you in just a bit. You need to work on the puzzle box there; time is ticking.
The box was a puzzle box? What was a puzzle box? Time could tick? How could time tick?
"Hm, constant charge, just beginning to fade... minus 2 volts... some activity; motion with no musculature, which means the cells morph into muscular structure somehow. Complete autonomy? I wonder how far away we can get from her before this goes dormant. Whatever, its not a big deal to test that right now. The real question is how much this knows or realizes."
I didn't understand the words at all. That was fine, I had a puzzle box. Isaac was being mean to me, but I would win the game, and that would show him!
The puzzle box kept changing though, and it was... weird how the markings changed.
Isaac did other things, like tapping me with a.. tool and putting sticky things on me for a bit so machines could beep. I was used to that part; Doctor Reg had done the same before.
"Seems like her level of current slowly erodes over time... as if it is being used. Good to know. The amount also seems to be stable. Her reserves are still good, but because of the old nerves, it is possible not everything is receiving the same charge. We should probably use probes and make sure... the body is healing, or rather, it is being forcibly healed. Some functions seem to be nearing some semblance of normal function already. For example, this heart could probably start beating now, if we jump started it. The brain looks alright...."
"I've noticed as much myself," doctor Reg said. "It seems to be related to Mary herself. She is giving some of herself to heal it."
"Of course," Isaac said. "Mary takes food, multiplies, then uses it to shore things up. Makes sense. Have you tried anything else besides blood?"
"No," doctor Reg said (replied) "We didn't want to risk arrest. I've little doubt it would speed the process up, but there are a variety of reasons to just do things more or less legally."
"Good point," Isaac said. "What about instinct? Have you noticed any?"
"None," doctor Reg replied. "Mary has been an exceptionally bright and nice child so far."
I knew what that meant. I beamed a smile at Doctor Reg, and he beamed one back at me.
Isaac made a noise I didn't know. "You two, I swear. Mary, you're not hungry, are you?"
I wasn't. Well, not really. So I shook my head. That meant no, and I knew it! Nurse Gracie had been right all along!
"Right, too much to hope for, I guess. I'll just do a few things while I'm here, assuming you have no objections Doc?"
"I've no objections," Doctor Reg said. "So long as you document it all. I can handle filling in the results."
"How are you doing on that puzzle, Mary?" Isaac asked.
I showed him the box. I wasn't sure if I was at the goal or not.
Isaac took it from me and looked it over, then handed it back. "Very good Mary, you're close. Keep at it."
Isaac handed me the box again, and I started again. I would beat him! He was talking about other people and not paying att... atten... heed to me, so I would win for sure!
Isaac spent some time sticking other things to me and turning on machines. They made me tickle, sometimes. But even with that, I would fix (solve) this!
A few moves later, I did.
I handed it back to Isaac and he whistled. Which sounded like fun of course, so I did it too.
Isaac was better at whistling than I was.
"Well done Mary, that's a level 7 puzzle. No easy feat to solve at all, and you got it in just a couple of hours."
I smiled. Then he kept talking.
"I've beaten it in ten minutes though. So I win."
I wanted to throw the box at him, but I'd already given it back. "Jerk. You beat it first!"
"I never said I hadn't, consider it a lesson. Still, you did well. Many people can't even solve that puzzle, and when they do, it takes them several hours or days. You are pretty smart... or have the capacity to be."
I didn't know what all that meant... but it didn't seem like Isaac was being mean. So I no longer wanted to throw things at him.
"Well, what do you think?" Doctor Reg asked? Asked.
Isaac answered while taking all the stuff he'd put on me off. Thankfully the tickling stopped. "You did good Doc. You did real good."
Then he turned to me. "Hold out your hands, okay?"
I did, and he put another box, a different box, in each one. "That's for you. Let me know when you beat them, okay?"
"Yes!" Maybe I could beat him on these.
"Got to go for now. Take care of yourself. Take it easy on the stairs, okay?"
I did not know what 'take it easy' meant... to take stairs? But stairs didn't move. I nodded anyway; if I could 'take it easy' I would. Everyone was so nice, they all meant well for me.
I knew that, somehow.
"Doc, walk me out? It's fine, the Doc is enough."
But I wanted to come!
"Mary, should we go see what Randolph is doing? He could still be asleep...." Nurse Gracie asked.
Ah! we should check! The darkness may have Randolph, at least the little one! "Yes!"
I moved, and Nurse Gracie grabbed my hand. "Mary, slow down! Let's go carefully, okay?"
I couldn't move (pull) Mary, so I slowed. Everyone else went ahead of us, even Fido.
Fido looked back and grinned, and it wasn't a smile. I didn't like it.
Nurse Gracie saw it too: "Fido, behave yourself, or someone might forget your food."
"Oh no, anything but that," Fido said, hurrying down the stairs on his four legs. Four legs was cheating, just like Isaac doing puzzles first! I knew it was!
What else was cheating? There were many things that were....
"Mary, take hold of the railing, like this. Grab it, there you go. We walk down, slowly, there you go."
Everyone else was gone by the time we reached the ground... no, not ground. Floor? The floor. We headed to Randolph's door, and Nurse Gracie knocked on it.
I wanted to knock too, so I did.
"Come in already!" Randolph said.
Randolph had that look on that I'd seen other people wear, but it changed when we came in. "Hello Grace. Hello Mary."
"Hello Randolph!" I said. Randolph was in bed like normal, with books spread around him. I jumped up and joined him there, looking. None of the books looked like the right one. The right one had a giant guy on the cover, who was showing lots of teeth. He wasn't happy either. He was very lonely, even with all the people around him. Even with his mom there. I still didn't really know what a mom was, but it sounded important to have.
He was bad, because he took people to the darkness, but it was still hard not to worry? Worry about him, because he was so lonely. Even if it was all made up.
I wanted to know the end.
"So you've come to hear the rest, have you?"
I did, but there was another thing. "Are you okay?"
Okay was a word meaning 'well'. I knew it.
Randolph looked different again. I knew what it was, what was the word? "I'm fine, Mary. Just a bit tired, but then I'm always tired. There is no need to worry about me just yet."
Sur... surprise? Was that it? Randolph no longer looked like that, whatever it was.
"Now Mary, you'll have to help me. The book we were reading fell off the bed, near the wall there. Can you go under the bed and get it for me?"
"No, wait, Mary!"
What was the problem? I could go under the bed, so I did. I found the book, and it was the right one, with the toothed man on it. There were a few others, so I grabbed those too.
Nurse Gracie was looking at me, and she made a noise. "You're covered in dust now...."
What was dust? Oh, was it this stuff, on my clothes? Was it like yesterday, when I got other stuff on my clothes? No, my hand moved it, so it came off.
Nurse Gracie pulled out a cloth. "Come here," she said, and touched me all over with the cloth. "Don't do that again, Randolph. It's not funny."
Randolph was looking at the books I'd found. He held one up. "I wondered where that one got to; I should have known. Thank you, Mary - and I won't, Grace. I just didn't think about under there, since you always do such a good job cleaning."
"Flatterer. Your punishment is you get to read to Mary."
Randolph did a thing with his eyes. It looked fun so I tried it too, and it was as fun as I thought it would be.
"The rest of the day. If you finish, you're starting another. You get to watch her while I get some work done."
"Grace, wait, that's not...."
Nurse Gracie moved, and waved before shutting the door. "Enjoy yourselves."
I waved back, even though Nurse Gracie could no longer see. I knew she knew I'd done it.
"I looked at Randolph, and Randolph looked at me. Then he made a noise - a sigh? - and said. "Alright, fine. Settle in Mary, Let's get started. Just let me find where we left off."