Born this Way - Chapter 1

By Julie D Cole

‘ Don’t fight it please. You should be thankful that you were blessed with this slender body and the fine hair of a young girl. Just accept it and relax. Let me teach you how to enjoy a new experience. You should find out the pleasures of womanhood and not fight against the inevitable. ‘

‘ But Aunt Marie, why was I born this way? What did I do wrong? Am I being punished? ‘

‘Don’t be silly sweetheart. Androgyny is something for special people and what is wrong with being two sexes or having the choice to experience both.

‘ But I’m useless as a boy. Look at me. I don’t have any friends at college. The guys are all hunks and they rejected me long ago. I have no confidence around them since I feel like a freak. They didn’t do anything wrong but it’s for sure that they aren’t interested in me as one of them. They see me as a whimp and a geek. A joke if the truth be known.’

‘Hush baby. I know what it’s like for you and I’ve seen what you’ve gone through. I saw how you struggled to deal with your condition. Your mother was a good friend of mine and if she were here she’d be so proud of you and so amazed how much alike you are. I promised her that I’d watch over you and help and maybe she told you how we had a special relationship and we both felt awkward for a while before realizing that we should be open to our families and friends. Your father had no right to beat her and he didn’t understand that Liz and I had been lovers long before he came on the scene. ‘

‘But Aunt Marie I tried my best to be the boy he wanted me to be. I just wasn’t good at anything. I miss my mum a lot. She stood up to him and made me feel special.’

‘ She was right. You are special. That’s why I’m here to help.’

‘ But what can you do? I’ve tried everything and even the family doctor gave up on me. He never listened to me. I didn’t ignore him. I’ve tried everything. I’ve even joined the sports club and used weights and I swam every day. I looked so out of place in the men’s changing rooms but I persevered. I ate foods that are full of carb’s and forced them down until I felt sick. In fact most of the time the food comes straight back out. I don’t need to eat much really. A mouse can eat more than I can.’

‘ Shhh. Come with me and let’s have some time together. First let’s talk about your experiences growing up and I want you to be as truthful as you can about your feelings. We’re staying here over tonight until the storms pass. We could just watch a pay movie . One room is sufficient don’t you think? No point carrying on searching since lots of travelers will have checked in to a hotel or motel tonight. We have a King size bed to relax in if you want like you used to do with your mum. Liz was very lucky to have a boy like you whatever you might think.

I nodded politely and just a little embarrassed that she knew about our special cuddle time whenever dad was working away. I couldn’t wait for bedtime and I never wanted to grow up. Mum was forever telling stories and she’d been a writer before I arrived on the scene.

Aunt Marie turned full frontal in front of me. She was perfectly proportioned and looked quite strong. Much bigger all round than mum or I and probably as big as dad.

‘ I hope you are not too embarrassed to see me like this. Perhaps you can snuggle up close to me tonight so we both keep warm. The heating isn’t that great is it? ‘

‘Well are you sure it’s OK since I’m a boy and the hotel management might complain.’

‘Fiddlesticks to the hotel it’s nothing to do with them. You’re old enough aren’t you and in this day and age there is likely to be more unmarried couples than married ones. You have your student card that shows you’re old enough anyway. ‘

‘Yes I do but it’s not as if I could do anything anyway since I’m pretty small and too embarrassed about it to perform.’ I don’t mind as long as I wear the t shirt. If that’s OK.’

‘I’d like that since I wasn’t lucky enough to have a child of my own to snuggle up to. I preferred girls as you might know and mum and I were lovers when you came along. I decided to disappear since your father didn’t like me.’

‘Does that mean you and mum were lesbians then Aunt Marie? Is it difficult to hide it?’

‘ I am who I am. I always preferred women and your mum and I were living together for a while when your dad arrived on the scene. Your mum was never sure about herself. Me I just prefer women to men. I can’t help that I was born this way so you are not alone to be different.’

‘ But if you are a lesbian it’s not a problem anyway is it? Even if you are without clothes you aren’t going to be attracted to me. Anyway I have these panties you loaned to me. I hope that my clothes will quickly dry in time for breakfast tomorrow. The airline aren’t likely to know we are still in the area so our suitcases will be sent home. ‘

‘ Your mum liked nudity so how about you? Are you frightened of nudity ? I think it’s a good chance to let you see the female body up close. Would your friends be impressed if they found out? Did you ever see a woman without clothes before?

‘You are first woman I’ve seen nude in the flesh. I’m a bit embarrassed if you want the truth. ‘

‘ Well don’t be. We were born nude and if people were more accepting about nudity then maybe there would be far less crime. Oh I look at you.You look just like Liz. Oh she’d be so pleased. You could easily pass for a girl. Did you ever experiment or take advantage of your looks?

‘No I didn’t but mum often referred to me as her little girl. She would have preferred a daughter I know. I look like a girl sometimes to some people mainly because I’m so thin. ‘

‘Not thin dear, slim. Girls prefer slim. If I was slim again and had your problem I’d be so happy. Some of us just need to look at food and the weight piles on. Did you see a female breast before? Does the size surprise you? ‘

‘ No, yes. Well I never saw a woman so close like this and mum never had anything like you have got. She was very small around the bust as you know. Dad used to tease her. I never saw a woman without clothes and the only experience I had was looking at magazines but it never really interested me. I don’t see why guys at college make so much fuss and ogle the girls. It’s a bit embarrassing really sometimes.’

‘ You’re quite a chatterbox when you relax aren’t you? Come on jump in and snuggle up close to me. If you feel awkward we can place a pillow in the middle. ’

“Ok I would like to snuggle. Maybe if you turn the lights low it will be better. This t shirt buries me and it’s still damp. The radiator is hardly warm. In fact it’s more like a dress on me so I feel a bit silly letting you see me like this. I never was alone with anybody before. I don’t have much to display as you realized. ‘

‘HaHa it’s true. The shirt buries you and with your hair still wet and the shirt still damp you look so cute. I can see your little boobies. They obviously like silk.’

‘ It’s because this is a woman’s top not a T shirt like I wear. I guess I react to silky materials. I always did since I was young when I had a comforter with silk edging.’

‘ Oh your comforter. I remember the photos your mum sent. It was on every single one. What happened to it?’

‘ Nothing.’

‘ Come on tell the truth. Do you still have it hidden away?’

‘ Err yes it’s not hidden. I keep it in the bedside cabinet and most nights when I’m feeling low I use it to help me go to sleep. Ever since mum died I’ve needed it. It’s in my suitcase so tonight I don’t have it.’

‘ Oh poor thing. You should keep the top then. Let me give you a hug and let’s chat about your mum. You’re very pretty just like she was at your age. Let me brush your hair for you. It’ll dry faster. Here sit in front of the mirror. You don’t mind these things swinging about do you. I promise to take care. If you go deaf then pat my arm. ‘

That helped a lot as we laughed. When she had finished the style was more girl than boy.

‘ Come on now it’s dry enough. Into bed with you. Do you like the top?’

‘It’s soft and nice. It makes me feel protected. It does make my nipples tingle though. Especially if I…’.

‘ Don’t be embarrassed . It’s not unusual. Let’s take it off then. That’s better. Mmm don’t you get any complements from the other boys. These are breasts in my book.’

‘ Please. This is a bit embarressing.’

‘ No don’t resist. Let the feminine side come out. Come on I am trying to help. Most women find their nipples tingle especially during sex and often silk has the same effect on me.’

‘ But I’m not a woman or a girl. I’m a boy and almost a man. Well I should be by now but look I’m hairless, no muscle growth just a freak. The clothes I buy are youths size or from the womans department in the unisex bit. ‘’

‘ Well you are luckier than I thought. All the more reason to let me help you. Come on let’s watch the film I spotted. It’s a few years old.’

‘ What is it? Which film did you buy?’

It’s about a beautiful man who likes to dress as a woman and who finally comes to terms with his femininity but his wife kicks him out. He finds a flat and meets an older woman who is his landlady. She sees him dressed as a woman one night and is surprised. She encourages him to be open and be the woman he wants to be. They have a relationship. ‘

‘ Does he look like a woman? Did they have sex?’

‘Yes and Yes. But let’s get comfy and then judge for yourself.’

To be continued ……………..