when life deals you a wild card its up to you how you play it
What will it take to make the most of the hand we've been dealt in life.
"Where should I start?" was what I asked Dr.Beverly. We where In a large office that resembled a library, there where old books lining the book cases that covered every wall ceiling to floor.
"Start at the beginning, or where you feel most comfortable". Dr.Beverly was an older woman, possibly in her late fifties. Her hair was a very light blonde color, almost silver.
"Well I was born Ronald Paterson." I looked at her to see her reaction but she just gave me an encouraging smile as if to say 'go on'. Of course she already knew most of what had happened to me, the police chief personaly gave her my file when I was escorted in.
"Um, well... I was a fairly normal teenage boy, 5 foot 8 inches, brown hair& eyes, I wasn't really muscular but I wasn't scrawny either. I was normal. But all that changed when I was thirteen. I remember that day, a Tuesday, it had been raining all day and the thunder shook the house every few minutes.
" Ronnie, car alarm!" My mother called from the kitchen, the thunder had set the alarm off.
"Ugh ok, I'll take care of it!"
"Thank you!"
I grabbed my coat and the key as I walked out the door into the rain, thats when I felt it. The strangest sensation I've ever felt, all the hair on my body stood on end, the air had a metallic smell to it, then.....
I woke up in a hospital, the intense white color of the room hurting my eyes. I felt like I had been hit by a cement truck, a flaming cement truck. My whole body ached, my throat was sore and when I tried to speak I was stopped by a breathing tube. I had tried sitting up but I didnt have the strength as sleep over took me, and thats when the nightmares started.
They where terrible, and it was the same one over and over.
I would find myself in a dark corridor running, running from something... terrible. I don't know what I was running from but I do know I don't want it to catch me. Then my legs start to feel heavy and I have touble moving them, my whole body freezes up into a marble block. Then it catches me and its a stone mason and he says' hidden inside every block of marble is an angel of immense beauty, and its my job to break her out" he then starts chipping away at me, it's excruciatingly painful, everytime he chips away he reveals a little more of the person beneath. Once he's done a beautiful girl is all thats left. Then it starts again.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest acomplishment
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
Beep… Beep… Beep
‘What is that beeping?’ is the first thought that crosses my mind. That’s when I open my eyes. I’m in a white room, obviously a hospital. I start to sit up but I’m being held in place by various wires and tubes connected to the slew of medical hardware surrounding me. I start pulling everything out, there are alarms going off as a nurse rushes in, she starts screaming at me.
“Stop! Stop! Doctor Crusher, she’s awake!”
A young doctor of about 28 walks in at a brisk pace. My first thought is ‘wow he’s hot’, but the first thing I say is “WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE!” as I grab the two foreign objects protruding from my chest.
“What’s wrong with my voice, who are you people?”
“Nurse I need a 13cc dose of Cloterimitol!”
I start hyperventilating, I’m freaking out. I’ve never been prone to panic attacks or anxiety but I was definitely having a panic attack now. I then feel a sharp pain in my arm and a warm sensation, Dr.Crusher is injecting me with something, everything is fading to black, the wail of the alarms now a distant noise, and I dream.
A putrid smell fills my nose as I wake up, the nurse from earlier is standing next to me with a packet of smelling salts in her hand. As soon as my eyes are open I’m assaulted from all sides by my mother and father, hugging and kissing me. My mother is crying, for some reason I start crying too. Now I’ve never been one to cry, period, but I can’t control myself. It’s as if some switch was flipped and I can’t control my emotions.
“Mom, w…What happened to me?”
“Well, sweetheart, it seems that you were struck by lightning and some chromosomal mutation happened and something about the sun, the doctor will explain." She gave me a halfhearted smile.
I looked up to see Dr.Crusher standing at the foot of my bed. As I’m staring at him I can’t help but think that he looks exactly like Will Wheaton, the actor, only a little bit older and with a slightly deeper voice.
“So the first thing I want to say is that what happened to you is not unheard of, extremely rare but not unheard of. You see, Nine minutes before you were struck by lightning a solar flare occurred blasting gamma radiation towards earth, normally the ozone layer and magnetic fields would deflect much of this radiation but due to CFC’s the ozone layer is thinning causing more radiation to leak through. There was a hole in the ozone layer directly above your house, the immense dose of gamma radiation you received mutated your DNA changing your Y chromosome to an X chromosome, your hair from brown to blonde, your eyes from brown to blue. Normally these changes would go unnoticed as they would not manifest themselves, but the fact that you are on the cusp of puberty and you were struck by lightning caused your body to go into over drive producing stem cells completely reshaping your body, we call this phenomenon CMR or Complete Mass Reconstruction. So any questions?”
“No” I lied, I had a ton of questions, but I just wanted to go home now. Then the doctor turned to my parents.
“Mister and Misses Patterson, the government has requested multiple blood and DNA samples from your… child, in exchange for $20,000 to aid in her um… transition to being of the fairer sex, basically to help pay for clothes, new furniture, makeup, etcetera".
“That’s fine” My dad didn’t seem to enthusiastic at the prospect of $20,000. Then in a stern voice he only used when correcting me he said “Doctor, could you please give our family a moment, a private moment?”
“Oh, of course, I’ll be in my office.” He said as he strolled out of the room . As soon as the door closed my dad went to open his mouth to say something but I shushed him, it was my turn to speak.
“Mom, Dad, you both know that I’m the kind of person who puts 150% into everything they do, a person who never gives up. It’s clear to me that I’m stuck this way, permanently, and I’m going to make the best of it. I am going to embrace being a… girl 150%, and if you look on the bright side this is like a fresh start, a mulligan on life.” I said with halfhearted enthusiasm.
They stood next to my bed with a look of shock and confusion, that was obviously not what they expected to hear, but what they don’t know is that I’ve always wanted to be a girl, it was my secret, and it was the thing I could never achieve.
They sat down, probably to gather their thoughts. This gave me a chance to actually look around my hospital room. It was more like a suite complete with a couch, T.V., mini-fridge, microwave, bathroom, and EKG monitor (that beepy thing that monitors your heart). They had only sat down for a few seconds, my mom was the first to speak.
“Sweetie, your Father and I have always supported your decisions wholeheartedly.” Then my dad interjected.
“With that being said, we cannot agree with you more, we were so worried you were going to take this badly and slip into depression or worse…”
That’s when I started crying, again. My mom jumped up and pulled me into her arms, caressing my already shoulder length hair (my parents let me grow it out as it was still summer) as I cried into her shoulder, she smelled of perfume and coffee.my dad joined our hug and we stayed like that for some time.
I never told you what my parents looked like, so I’ll do that now stating with my mom. She is a fairly attractive woman in her early Thirties, about 5’4’, brown hair and eyes, very fit, and had an amazing sense of fashon(which will help me in the future). My father on the other hand was a six foot brick wall of a man with a 36in chest, flat top hair, moustache, and a very muscular body.
“Well you obviously can’t keep your name, do you have any idea on what you might want to be called, you don’t have to decide now.” Asked my dad in the middle of our family embrace.
”A...Actually I do, Ashley, Ashley Diane Patterson.” I said through tears.
♥Ashley takes her first steps into womanhood and discovers herself.♥
I awoke the next day to a knock at the door. Dr.Crusher walked in with a clipboard in one hand and a coffie in the other, my dad walked in behind him.
"So, I hear you've picked yourself a name" Dr.Crusher said in that over enthusiastic voice every doctor uses with young patients.
"Yes, I have, it's Ashley" I said as I sat up in my bed and winced, my bladder was on the verge of bursting!
"I know that face, It seems the anesthesia has finally worked its was out of your system" he said as he glanced down at his clip board.
"It's now safe for you to get up and walk around. Now, with the addition of breasts and a lower center of gravity you may experience a loss of balance, we are not quite sure if your body will have already adjusted or not" he said .
'God, this guy is a chatterbox' I thought to my self. I swung my feet over the edge of the bed and let them dangle, my dad put his hand out to help me off. I slid off the bed, with my dads help of course, and my feet touched to ground for the first time in three days and it was COLD! But I didn't care, all I cared about was getting to the bathroom.
"It's fine, I can do it" I said sternly as I waved my dad off.
Then I took my first steps into woman hood, my first very cold steps. I stumbled a little at first but my body caught up with my new center of gravity and my balance was fine. I rushed to the bathroom and shut the door, as I put up the lid to the toilet I realized that I have to sit down now and put it back down.
I will spare you the details of my peescapades, I doubt you want to hear about that. After I was done I stood up and noticed the full body mirror on the back of the door, its surface hidden by a bathrode hanging from a hook just above it. I reached up and pulled the robe off its hook. Nothing could ever prepare me for what I saw next, staring back at me was the girl from my dream, she was me. I didnt even resemble my former self, I was now 5'6', slim, deep blue eyes, B cup breasts, and a cute button nose. I was definitly cute but I wasn't a super model, just your average teenage girl.
I stood staring at the mirror just staring at myself, mesmerized by what I had become. I must have been standing and staring for a good three minutes.
A knock came at the door startling me.
"You alright in there, Champ?" Asked my dad from the other side of the door.
"Um, Yeah dad, I'll uh be right out"
As I opened the door and stepped out I came face to face with my mom holding two neatly folded stacks of clothes.
"You can't wear those hospital robes forever, so pick one"she said with a sly grin
"This one is jeans and a shirt" she said as she held up the right stack.
"And this one is my favorite, it's black tights, a black skirt, and a white blouse"
"well, I dont know what half of that stuff is on the left so I choose right" I said as the smile dissapeared from her face. I k ow she wanted me to pick the skirt but I'm just not sire if im ready for that yet.
I took my chosen pile of clothes and put them on the toilet then closed the door, then I realized I'd never seen these clothes before in my life. I was expecting an old pair of my jeans and an old shirt. Then it hit me.
"Hey mom... Where did these clothes come from?" I asked, already knowing the answer, she must have gone shopping already... Without me!
"I went shopping, sweetie. I'm sorry for not telling you but no daughter of mine is going to walk out of here wearing grungy old boys clothes" She said from just behind the door.
"It's fine, I needed clothes, but I would have liked to come, and mom..."
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"I love you"
"I love you too Ro... Ashley" she said, I could hear in her voice that she was crying.
I turned to the stack of clothes that lay on top of the toilet. Neatly folded on top of the pile was a simpl pair of white panties, nothing fancy or flashy. As I stepped into them I couldent help but think about the emptiness between my legs, but I had to push them from my mind, I can explore my new anatomy later. I slid the panties up my legs and was amazed by how soft they where and how perfectly they clung to my body. Next came the jeans, now I'd never worn anything skinnier than boot cut jeans so getting into form fitting skinny jeans was a challenge, finally I pulled the shirt over my head and looked at my self in the mirror. 'God, I look good' I thought as I reached for the door nob, as I opened the door I was blinded by a flash of light, I heard my mom let out a scream... Or was that me.
Sometimes doing your best, is just going with the flow.
"JESUS CHRIST, That scared me!" I said as my voice quaked from the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
"Sorry, I couldn't resist" my mom said as she cranked the wheel on the black disposable camera that she held in her hands.
"Where's the digital?"
"Your father left it at home" my mom said as she shot him a dirty look.
"I didn't think we would need it when you said our son was struck by lightening, and when this happened I really wasn't thinking about cameras" he said in a tone that was almost a whine, which suggested that they'd already had this argument earlier, and mom won.
"Why can't you just go home and get it now, we don't live that far from Orange County General Hospital. And when can I go home, this place is getting claustrophobic."
" We'll talk about all that later, champ. And I didn't want to leave you and your mother alone." He said as he put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into a half hug. I could tell he didn't want to tell me something, a BIG something, but decided against digging for more information. I'll let him tell me when he's ready.
"How about we head down to the food court and get something to eat!" my mom said as she put the disposable away in her hand bag.
"That sounds great, I'm starving" As I said that I realized that I was in fact starving, I hadn't had any solid food in three days!
"Here, put these on" my mom said as she handed me an ugly pair of hospital slippers. Now, when I was Ron I didn't really care what I wore or what it looked like, but I was absolutely repulsed by the hideous things my mother held in her hands.
"I am not putting these hideous things on my feet, isn't there anything less... Repulsive?" I asked as I took the slippers between my index finger and thumb and held them at arms length away from me as if they where some kind of poisonous creature.
A huge smile stretched across her face and she tried to stifle a giggle.
"Whats so funny? Would you wear these things?" I said
"It's just so funny that already thinking and acting like a girl, a very girly girl. I know a certain boy that would wear anything that was still mostly in one peice. I had wanted to save these for when we leave but I guess now is as good a time as ever." My mom said through a huge grin.
Then she pulled out a box wrapped in powder pink and white polka dot wrapping paper. As I took the box from her hands my heart rate started to go up and my palms started to sweat.
"Am I really getting excited over shoes, what's happening to me?" I thought as I started to carefully peel away the paper that covered this fairly small box. When the last strip of paper fell away from the box onto the floor it revealed a name that I was very familiar with, 'Sperry's'. I opened the box to find that the shoes where wrapped I pink paper instead of white. Under that paper where a pair of sperrys identical to the pair I had at home, in a smaller size .
I lifted them out of the box and noticed upon closer inspection the floral pattern inside the shoes, a quality only girls sperrys had.
"Do you like them?"
"Yes, I love them, Thank. You so much mom!"
"Come on then, try them on, make sure they fit!"
I pulled the wadded paper out of the toes of the shoes and slipped them onto my feet. I stood up and bounced on the balls of my feet, rolled my ankles and and pointed my toes. This was something I did everytime I tried on a new pair of shoes, a sort of ritual I had picked up from cross country.
"They're perfect"
"Well im glad you like them, now lets go get some food!"
The walk down to the food court was fairly uneventful and the food was tasteless but I enjoyed every bite of it as I hadn't eaten in three days. I don't even remember what the food court looked like all I remember was the food.
When we got back to the room I sat down on the couch that was below the window. I decided it was time to pursue the question of when I get to leave this god awful place. Over the past three days I've been poked with more needles than a pin cushion, given more blood than I thought was possible, and was in bed for two thirds of it.
"So when can we go home?"I asked with mock excitement.
My mom looked to my dad and let out a sigh.
"What's wrong?" I asked as my dad sat down next to me on the small two cushion couch. Hehad a look on his face that id only seen once before, that was when grandma Lang died. I was getting scared as he sat there in silence searching for words.
"Daddy your scaring me, whats wrong?"
He looked up at me with smirk on his face that scared me even more.
"You haven't called me daddy since you started the first grade. I remember you sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal and telling me daddy was a baby word and you are a big kid. But that wasn't you, that was Ron and you are Ashley, Ron grew up in that house, he was my little buddy. You are my little princess, And your mother and I feel that you should grow up in a different environment so we are moving into grandma Langs old house in Smallville, Kentucky"
I sat in stunned silence as I processed what he had just told me. I'd never been to Smallville, whenever I saw Grandma Lang she came to us. I know that she lived on an old farm and left us a substantial amount of land when she died but that was all I knew. On top of that I've never even left the state of Florida before, I've lived in the same house since birth. Now we are moving half way across the country to a new house,a new school, new people, And a new me.