Any marriage is an adventure. But I being a non magically talented person I married into a magical talented family. After three blissful full years I was not prepared for our adventure on steroids. This all started on the high Holy Day of October 31.
WE NEED TO TALK
By Misha Nova
Edited by Rasufelle
“WE NEED TO TALK,” I growled sweetly under my breath. I intended this to be the challenge to end all challenges.
My mother in law, who I was addressing, looked at me with mild amusement in her sparkling green eyes.
“My dear one what ever about, you look upset.”
“Where did they go, they're not where they are supposed to be, and if someone hurts them I will be most displeased.”
“You think I would leave it lying around where it would get cold and lonely? certainly not. I put them someplace safe and warm.”
“And where is that Morgana? I thought you liked me. Now you go and do this!! Do you have even the slightest idea just how disturbing this is to me?”
To bring everyone up to speed: I married into a magic wielding family. It is a bit unusual for a gifted person to take a non gifted spouse, but on special occasions, when the person is worthy and able to wrap their head around the daily and flagrant violation of the laws of physics, the marriage is sanctioned by the ruling council.
Samantha and I have been married now for three joyful years. I was well accepted in the Talented community even with my oddity of being a stay at home husband. It was the most economical way for us to manage our money, as I can do my consulting work as an herbalist at home and keep our expenditures tightly reined in. I cooked, cleaned, prepared concoctions, canned, et cetera. I was like a male version of Laura Ingalls Wilder. Samantha was our outside person, specializing in home security work and magical protection. She was a former Army Ranger so this came naturally to her.
Our only personal problems were we were, respectively, the wrong gender, and no matter how much we blurred the lines at home the two of us were not comfortable in our own hides. This had nothing to do with our skill sets, as our skills grew out of our personalities and how we interacted with the world. But, both of us just put on our adult underpants and got on with our life.
The guilty occasion was the annual All Hallows Eve party; part party, and part religious event. This year's theme was storybook characters, all with a magically assisted twist. The two of us were cosplaying Snow White but flipping gender, me playing Snow White and Samantha being Prince Charming. It only took a small costume embellishment to pull this off and everyone at the party got the joke, adding to the festive atmosphere.
That is, until I entered the bathroom to tinkle. As I dispelled the illusion of my huge skirt, I was hit by a wave of magically induced mana. This disoriented me, and I had to grope so that I could get into the privy area. That was when I found my little man had deserted the ship, leaving only what Snow White would be equipped with.
I should explain: stunts like this, and more, occur at our parties, but it is frowned upon to go this far with non-talented guests.
I am accosting my mother in law because she is suspect number one, having been going on as of late that Sam and I were born in the wrong gendered bodies.
A second wave of magical driven mana rippled through the party room like a smooth wave on a tropical beach. I felt it as my stomach went wonky and my vision blurred. The next thing I am aware of I am in one of the private dining alcoves just off the main floor being attended to by a very handsome man who was talking to my mother in law.
“What were you thinking? Have you been tippling the Scotch again? The last time you did that your first husband spent several days on a farm being the bull.”
“Hey tall dark and handsome, no harm no fowl, he thought it was the best vacation he ever had.”
Even through the red haze of my teapot tempest I found that funny. Trying to sit up in a corset was a pain, especially when you needed to be assisted by someone you are mad at and you are giggling like a loon. It took several attempts, and some additional help by several people, to accomplish. Looking in the face of my rescuer I was taken back by a set of beautiful eyes which I was very familiar with.
“Samantha? Is that you in there? Are you OK?”
“Am I Ok? No, far from it. I needed to use the gentleman's room and when I sat to pee I found that I had inherited something of yours.”
By then my mother in law was laughing so hard tears were running down her face. Both Sam and I looked at Morgana and in unison spoke.
“We need to talk.”
At that time I did not know if I wanted to yell at her or strangle her. Then the High Priestess entered our enclave to find out what was going on, finding the two of us facing Morgana. All Morgana could utter was, ”The looks on their faces were priceless”.
I yelled at the top of my voice, “Why did you do this Morgana?!” Samantha only looked at his mother with a scowl.
The high Priestess Dianna quietly answered using her calming voice. ”Because the two of you were in such pain, there needed to be an intervention. And I need to be honest, I approved of this, with the blessings of a unanimous vote of the council.”
The two of us felt the wind going out of our sails. Sam answered quietly and with gravity in her, er, his voice. “Does this mean what I think it means my lady? That is one of the few blessings that requires an unanimous vote. “
“Yes it does Samuel, my Prince Charming. So, the responsibility is yours to educate Michelle, your very talented spouse, in the responsibilities that come with that blessing. And all of the blessings that come with it!”
Sam looked at me with a deeply compassionate and guilty look.
"Sam, from the time you were small, trying to find a comfortable place for your personality was a losing battle. You never were able to be yourself and just relax. When you met Michelle, I knew you had discovered a soul mate, someone whose ragged edges matched yours. The only thing the two of you were missing has now been rectified. All I ask of the two of you is to give it a year before you make any final decisions. Then you may exercise your free will, and return to your former state.“
Diana sighed deeply, indicating a proclamation was to follow. “Now, will the two of you please get on with your evening. Reality can only be bent so far and all still seem to be as it should. I am not trying to be harsh, but the two of you were already living lives of quiet desperation trying to capture what was just gifted to you.”
With that Diana made a subtle but stated swishing of her costume skirt, and departed. Morgana, looking quite pleased with herself, informed me that our costumes were rigged to perform this switch, and that too was approved by the council.
“The two of you have to adjust to your new circumstances. This dance and party is set up to help that process. So, do get on about the evening, mana is wasting.” Then she too departed back to the dance floor, leaving the two of us contemplating the situation we found ourselves in.
When we embraced there was a thrilling shock that ran through my entire body. At first I thought it was a sexual one, until there were several more jolts exchanged between the two of us. Sam steadied me, then guided me to the nearest seat that lined the outside wall of the area we were in.
“Wow I forgot about that!" Sam exclaimed. "Are you OK love?”
“Sam... what was that, and how could you forget something like that?”
“Easy Michelle, that effect only happens between two talented people when their energies come to a balance. You, my dear, have been granted an amazing boon. You have had your talent opened and energized for you by the council!! You will need training, but that will be easy enough for us to manage.”
“How is this possible, is there some ancestor of mine that was talented or what?”
“Michelle, I think it is a combination of things that we can only guess at, but from the strength of the reaction you must be very powerfully imbued. That could be a cascade from my earlier female form.” Then a shocked look clouded my now very handsome husband's face. “Oh my goddess... then... the 'harm none' clause would follow through in our case too, meaning...”
There was a very long pause before Sam continued. “That would mean that no life could be harmed in this process no matter what! Oh Goddess, I hadn't had the chance to tell you beforehand, but I just found out I was pregnant! Meaning, you are now with our first child!!!”
The next sound that was heard was me yelling across the party floor.
“Morgana mother, WE NEED TO TALK!”
It has been two magical weeks since Samantha and I shifted physical genders. Sam was from a magically talented family, my background was two parents who in there day would have been called hippies. My mother taught me herbalism and homeopathy, my father taught me how to grow things.
Now I have been transformed into a very pregnant magically imbued woman suffering from the early problems of being pregors, like morning sickness and moodiness. Add to that when I sneezed I create butterflies, and when I burp I blow dragonflies. This made the introduction to my new life a regular barrel of monkeys, which is what I got one time when I was gassy.
The reality shock of finding myself living my life long dream was unnerving the first week, nothing plays like our dreams. My old body memory went up in a puff of smoke , and I was left to experience an entirely new me. I found it better not to think to hard about who I had become, I just went with just living the experience allowing my sense of self reformat it's self around my new reality. That was easier said than done
Poor Sam was experiencing some of the same thing's trying to adjust to his more robust physical form. He was thrilled at his new found strengths but suffered more than a few mishaps learning how to gauge a jump, or a vault. The years of physical training in the Rangers was a real help but as hie sparring partner found out Sam did not know his own strength.
Sam discovered another wrinkle in his transition and that was learning how to use his stronger hands. Some of the more delicately designed electrical components took a beating the first two weeks until he learned to judge just how much to tighten this or twist that, and his larger hands did not fit into the tighter spaces he was use to work in. But by and large Sam really enjoyed his new body and was very comfortably in his form.
Happy in being finally being my self was great, but comfortable was not on the program. My mother told me stories about her early days expecting my sister and me..They were not pretty., that was one of so many ways, I took after mom. I was now just a smidgen over her height, and I was a ringer for her when she was my age.
Following her lead I was on a strict BRAT diet supplemented by green tea and home made ginger soda. In between bouts of extrema nausea I was never really comfortable. To Morgana's credit she was by my side when ever Sam was out. But more than one time I looked into her eye's and asked , " What were you thinking.?”
“To this she would reply " Being a woman is not always mulled cider and bonbons. It is some times dirty and disgusting requiring enormous strength and endurance. I know you have had a lot of life thrown on your little dainty plate, but I knew Samantha's ego structure is male and .would never
survive carrying a child. She is not strong enough in the areas required to be a mother But Samuel will move the earth to do right by you and the children, Michelle you can, take that to the bank. The two of you are now living the roles your personalities are meant to be." I punctuated her statement by throwing up again. The blessing of eating rice, crackers and drinking ginger soda is that it does not taste so bad coming back up.
Morgana was patient with me and to be sure I was very happy for her company, comfort, and companionship. At the beginning of my second week something really funny happened. I had a sneezing fit that at first felt like I was going to explode my head. I was so busy sneezing I did not hear Morgana's surprised voice until I had stopped sneezing. Then she reentered the room she was followed by what appeared to be a transparent flock of butterflies.
With a chuckle in her voice she asked me, "Michelle my dear what were you thinking.? "
I could not suppress my giggles when I answered. " Just about my happy place which is a spring field in the mountain',s filled with butterflies."
"WELL thank the goddesses you weren't thinking about a swamp full of frog's and alligator's .This is a first for you. You have manifested your first magical creation." It took about twenty minutes for the butterflies to fade away. But the both of us were sad to see them go, they were quite lovely.
The third week brought a partially relief of the daily sickness so it was only a morning to noon sickness. How my body knew it was noon sharp was a curiosity but I was informed that talented people many times exhibited odd side effects when expecting. My second humorous exhibit was sometimes when burping I would blow small dragonflies. These would fly about growing larger until like a balloon they would softly pop into a cloud of pink sparkles. When I went to Dr Catherine Livingston, the family witch doctor. , told me that I was going to have a baby girl, and that all seemed well but she wanted to see me every week. She then places a spell that would let me know of I could eat something or not, it would also alert me and her if something was going wrong. This was a great relief to my mind as I may miss something beings a first time mother.
That was the other change my mind started to catch up with my body so when I was called Michele or a mother it felt right. The physical sensitivity to blows bumps and the like was still disconcerting but not crazy like it was the first week. Sam spoke about how he had the opposite problem he would not notice until someone pointed out to him that he had nicked himself on something. That occurred when my lovely husband redecorated a spare room as our nursery. I had to kiss his bo bo and pull a large splinter from his fore arm that he could not see. There was a great source of satisfaction when I finished. Sam pulled me into a tight embrace that settled my nerves down and let the two of us reconnect. That was when I felt the rib bandages. It took every bit of self control not to yell at my sweet heart. My simple clenched teeth inquiry was,
"What were you thinking, not telling me you had broken ribs?"
Michelle it's only two and it" no big deal, I missed judged a jump and went over rather than my planed onto a wall. It"s no real really."
"Sam you are my love and my husband yes it is realty a big deal you big dufe. Never keep any injury I your wife would consider important from me again, understand?" With that I punctuated my statement by hitting him in his rock hard upper arm. The tactile feeling I got back stirred a deeply sexual response from my body, to which Sam gathered me up again and passionately kissed me before moving on with his work. I was rooted to the spot one foot up in the air raised at my knee. I was so hot at that moment it required a few moments for me to gather my self. As I wandered like a dazed school girl out of the room I could hear Scot chuckle to him self , I even felt that was sexy. Good gravy was I a push over for my man, and we liked it that way!.
The next day Dianna took me shopping at a small mall that all the stores were owned and operated by people of Talent who had special stocked items for the community. I was able to find a rocking chair that was branded "The Recharger" and sure enough there was a noticeable energy return as you quietly rocked. You could also use a quiet function to just wanted to wind down and be calm. It probably has other functions according to the crystals you used but I need to brush up on my ancient Celtic so I can read the instruction manual. I was able to find a wonderful quilt in warm colors but I put off picking a crib just yet. How ever I did buy a changing table that was imbued with a stink controlling spell that was quite a find. There was a diaper eating diaper bucket, but I was not ready for that just yet.
I was puttering around several other stores where I found decorations for the nursery and a few things for the living room and our bedroom. One of the nicer things about buying from our community's merchants is that delivery was not a problem. You just needed to clear the space the furniture needed to go and place markers the store provided in the configuration stated in your delivery papers. Many of the merchants were customers of my services so payment of the bill was easily arranged.
For some reason I fell in love with both pictures and small decorative statuary of birds sitting on nests, and cats with kittens. It was like an instinctive choice, I found them appealing. When I displayed my new decorations both Sam and Morgana's started to tease me that my nesting instinct had kicked in. Dianna only smiled and refused to comment. She only would say that the mother's instinct have been consistent through time. That commentary ran through my mind causing me to smile at the connection with women back through time. With that my old identity faded a little more, and I was strangely Ok. with that.
By my fourth week my morning was limited to just the mornings but I was having hormonal swings , hot, cold, homicidal, the normal stuff no strange manifestations to speak of, but there were some that I just don't talk about. He He He. I was not comfortable with my radically swinging emotions but that came with the package of being a pregnant woman, my emotional control was null and void causing Sam to ask his mother, "what were you thinking" her answer was "my child that would be you , be grateful" Sam shudder and become extra attentive to my requests.
I did have some strange food cravings. I always liked Rum Raisin ice cream " flavoring not real rum ",
then on a visit to our bulk store I tried Kim Che and that became an instant success. That was joined by soft tacos from a local chain. Sam became a regular and the staff would make up a care package with the makings of four soft tacos all the components packaged separately so I could assemble them as needed. An extra large order of there vegetable Spanish rice and one bean , rice, and cheese burrito. Sam would go to the Pike Place Market when he was in Seattle and get me some soft smoked salmon ,
and fresh baked everything bagels. I was off popcorn as the stench pushed my nose the wrong way causing me to ,yes you guessed correctly, throw up. Ugh gross
My parents reaction to this change was remarkable, they both saw through the reality altering spell and greeted me with totality open arms. Both of them felt my ' chi' was much improved, my mother then took me aside to offer a list of tea and herbs to use and to stay away from. It was like nothing had changed between us except that I was pregnant. Both of them now knew that Morgana's was an ob-er witch and as dad put it “ were cool with that, every one needs a hobby. ”.
Ever the practical man wanting to weave himself into the world around him. Dad wanted to know if Morgana's needed any thing he could grow for her. Dad then took Sam aside to explain Sam that if he needed a place to chill, “ when things got to estrogen rich,” he just needed to ask .
" Sam my man I have some great home brew beer that puts one's mind in that great peaceful place. You need just to ask, if Michelle's like her mama, she will need some alone processing time. Don't be macho let her have it ,and us guys can chill and unwind with some fishing and beer. Just like my dad and I did back in the day."
My Dad and my Sam started to formed a really good relationship full of the humor and good fellow well met spirit of comradeship , dad was not anything other than an incredibly good man, some one I liked Sam to learn from how to be a guy from. Sam's dad Jack, was a lot stiffer and very formal because he was an important person in his circle of business and all. And face it he was divorced from Morgana
early in Sam's life, so I am not sure about how good of a role model he could be.
When I was two month's into my pregnancy I felt solid enough to be alone for a time.. Sam was settled into his routine but getting a bad case of twitchy legs that moved up into his torso leaving him a bit stressed out. There is nothing worse than having an itch you don't know recognize the source of, and you don't know how to scratch. Sam had been hyper-vigilante over so many things and over doing the protectiveness so much his nerves were worn to an over sharpened frazzle.
The Thursday after Sam had met my father, I had a sneezing fit in the morning before Sam went to work. There was a flock of jeweled transparent butterflies in the kitchen but they were settled onto the surfaces and not wildly fluttering about. I found that I had a little control of there behavior so I calmed
them down not to make Sam any more edgy. Business had been good but the extra running and negotiation with “ Stupid people “ had pushed Sam's temper up a few notches. He had been seating in the breakfast nook drinking his morning brew when he flicked one of the butterflies that had settled on
his coffee cup. It shattered with a ' plink ' into a thousand tiny pieces disappearing. He then started to try playing a tune by plinking them according to there size. It was humorous watching this full grown man doing a mock ballet through the kitchen on his work booted tip toes, like a fairytale princes, smacking magic butterfly's. He was laughing like a loon as he performed his off key rendition of the Blue Danube.. I knew then my, boy needed some serious vacation time. So like a good wife I started to plot and scheme to send him off on one, for both his and my sanity.