Published on BigCloset TopShelf (https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf)

Home > Edeyn Hannah Blackeney > Edeyn's Poetry

Edeyn's Poetry

Author: 

  • Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Organizational: 

  • Series Page

Audience Rating: 

  • General Audience (pg)

Other Keywords: 

  • Waxing Poetic

Taxonomy upgrade extras: 

  • Posted by author(s)

Edeyn's Poetry
by Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Gathered poems written by Edeyn over the years...

When The Night Calls Out

Author: 

  • Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Audience Rating: 

  • General Audience (pg)

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)


A (non-TG) Poem
 © Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

When the night calls out
I long for my dear one
My breath is drawn shallow
From the weight of my thoughts
Love is lost to me
As tears roll down my cheeks

When the night calls out
I listen intently
My heart races onward
From my grasping seeking mind
Cares are lost to me
As more of me slips away

When the night calls out
I weep quietly in shadows
My insides knot tightly
From old fears renewal
Dreams are lost to me
As my nightmares beckon

When the night calls out
I raise my view to the heavens
My spine runs a chill
From the vast expanse above
Courage is lost to me
As I notice I'm alone

When the night calls out
I answer to the dark
My other life forgotten
From the enveloping sea of ink
Compassion is lost to me
As I sink into self-pity

When the night calls out
I run barefoot into it's depths
My only thought to run away
From my pasts and horrors in them
Hope is lost to me
As I spin out of control

When the night calls out
I scream and I yell
My voice going hoarse
From a shout gone unheard
Remorse is lost to me
As the shell about me thickens

Sometimes, I Wonder

Author: 

  • Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Audience Rating: 

  • General Audience (pg)

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)


A (non-TG) Poem
 © Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Living in a real life can never be how you picture it when young
I want to be a ballerina, I want to be a fireman
Perspective shifts, and the dreary dreadfulness of reality
It sinks into your skin and permeates your every fiber
Until you realize that life can't be planned -- you do what you can

There are times that others' praise is all that keeps you going
Though it's more than true that sometimes others' expectations
Push on you until down is all you have or let you fall
My life doesn't seem to grow anymore, now or in my pasts
I think what I need are some total self renovations

Years ago, more or less a decade my mind tells me I believe
I overheard a conversation -- two men in discussion over me
"She can't run on forever, though it seems she's gonna try"
"Does that really matter? She'll own men like us someday"
I don't think they realized, listening from the shadows was she

They talked about my strong potential in the futures, now
Can you tell me how exactly is that measured? And let me know why?
One says, "She may not be a looker, but she'll do this town proud"
He's answered, "Yeah ... if only some of her critics realized that"
When I heard this I wanted to both sink into the ground and fly

My life has been a disappointment in most ways, to me if no one else
I wanted to be more, do more, reach for horizon's sunset
Three and twenty times I've heard the doctors say, "Girl, you're gonna die"
Sheer fear of having nothing to show, being forgotten kept me here
Looking back at my pasts, I think I finally realize -- this is as good as I get

I'm nobody's dream girl, though maybe not a nightmare either
I'm not the most successful, though my head's above the water
I'm far from being one that people seek out when they need company
I likely won't have children, to think fondly of their mommy
And worst of all it seems ... I'll never marry at the altar

I've lost and gained so many times I've begun to wonder lately
Does anything I do really matter beyond the here and now?
Or am I truly living for the moment and simply should cease to care?
When I look into the mirror, I'm more critical than most
I look beyond and am disappointed, wondering "How?"

How could I have strayed so far from what I wanted?
What results when thought about 10 years ago I could only abhor
Have somehow in the intervening time become something I could accept
Life ignores exactly what it wants to as you scream along unprepared
What hurts a lot is that it seems what I hate is what I am -- someone to ignore

Quiet of Night

Author: 

  • Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Audience Rating: 

  • General Audience (pg)

Publication: 

  • Verse, Poetry, Lyric

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)


A (non-TG) Poem
 © Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

In the quiet of night
I hear naught but silence
Unless that was more
Than my all too vivid imagination
Heart beating
Chills creeping
I see only blackness
My fancies of terror seem more real
Now, when I'm alone

In the quiet of night
I hear a far off dog howling
Unless walls soundproof much better
Than they have in the past
Ears straining
Sweat trickling
I see only darkness
My thoughts weigh more heavily
Now, when I'm alone

In the quiet of night
I hear things that aren't there
Unless my delusions are more real
Than I want to believe
Fists clenching
Breaths quickening
I see only inkyness
My assuredness abandons me
Now, when I'm alone

In the quiet of night
I hear plots against me
Unless there's more wind
Than intent in those whispers
Teeth grinding
Stomach churning
I see only shadows
My fears overcome me
Now, when I'm alone

In the quiet of night
I hear tapping at windows
Unless it's just trees more faery
Than thieves or than goblins
Fingers tugging
Whimpers escaping
I see only shadows
My nightmares accompany me
Now, when I'm alone

In the quiet of night
I hear moans of the damned
Unless there's more settling
Than grave left in this house
Eyes darting
Legs shivering
I see only inkyness
My resolve hides away from me
Now, when I'm alone

In the quiet of night
I hear screams of terror
Unless cats skirmish more
Than stalkers seek prey
Lips trembling
Tears trickling
I see only darkness
My cowardice triumphant
Now, when I'm alone

In the quiet of night
I hear all the taunts of memory
Unless by some chance I'm more stable
Than my tortured mind allows
Lungs gasping
Sobs wracking
I see only blackness
My shoulders, my ribs, my body as a whole
Now, when I'm alone

Caged Yay!

Author: 

  • Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Audience Rating: 

  • General Audience (pg)

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)


A (non-TG) Poem
 © Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

In life you gotta learn to do what you can
Grow up, move on, figure out yourself a plan
Things you gotta keep strongly in your own mind
Pick your path and make way through the daily grind
Remember the heroes you had as a kid
Make time to do all the things you never did
Regrets of pasts will seal your mental prison
Bitterness slows down, fills you with derision

Never let the happy thoughts simply fade away
Never build a self-made cage around your "Yay!"

Life means you gotta fight to win your passage
Don't whine, don't stop, and throw off all your baggage
Follow whatever makes your heart find focus
See life beyond the glare and hocus pocus
Become the stuff of Legendary stories
Don't spend all your time with things that make worries
Unmade memories simply stand there waiting
When you finish up it's your flight they're taking

Never let the happy thoughts simply fade away
Never build a self-made cage around your "Yay!"

How Many?

Author: 

  • Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Audience Rating: 

  • General Audience (pg)

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)


A (non-TG) Poem
 © Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

How many lives must I begin again?
For once I'd like to know, why can't I win?
Simply pick up my pieces and restart?
I can't be certain of holes in my heart

How many more times can I just stand back?
While my tears fall, simply face the attack?
Watch with envy the success of others?
I want to help but I'm not their mothers.

How many hopes can I watch be broken?
Who controls the game, receives the token?
Will I sit up screaming just awoken?
Just my luck I'm paper thin not oaken.

How many chances for me myself I?
Can I do over, roll another die?
Have I ever been useful to any?
I seem to be just a washed up ninny.

How many people believe in me still?
Here only due to their love, and their will?
Why is their faith in me so strongly placed?
Sooner or later they'll see I'm a waste.

How many folks think I have destiny?
May I please, have a glimpse of what they see?
Am I going to one day find my place?
I suspect that there's just not enough space.

I Know A Transman

Author: 

  • Edeyn Hannah Blackeney

Audience Rating: 

  • Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication: 

  • Verse, Poetry, Lyric
  • Short-short < 500 words

Genre: 

  • Transgender
  • Comedy

Character Age: 

  • College / Twenties

TG Themes: 

  • Female to Male

TG Elements: 

  • CAUTION

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)

A poem and a statement all wrapped up in one tidy package. I wrote it this morning after a conversation with a friend... that really led to places that it shouldn't have but was a fun and entertaining conversation, anyway!

I Know A Transman
Copyright Edeyn Hannah Blackeney, 25 September 2007

I know a Transman who's partic'larly fun,

Rough, tough, and virile but not overly done.
Cute, kinda boyish, and short a few parts,
That's never dampered his pride in his farts,
This av'rage Joe at the bar playing darts.

Not quite the type to stay hooked on his phallus,
Neither the kind that would live in a palace.
Never been pretty, nor prone to poke fun,
When asked 'bout his past, won't cut and won't run --
Though he won't offer, he'll talk 'til he's done.

Tells of his time that he gave thought to the op,
Had one little problem, though, made him say, "Stop."
Heard 'bout a rumor that men can't get off,
Quite the same way that we girls! *smile and cough*
Better, and longer, and hassling the 'Hoff!

"Hey, wait just one minnit!" sez my manly friend,
"Just how is that fair? They've just got a dead end!
No frickin' way that I can tell Pastor."
Went to see Grandpa, Confucius Master,
Over his private, way big disaster!

He put to his ancestor his burning thought,
Then waited outside to see what had he wrought.
Worried and pondered and rubbed at his chin,
His grandfather's voice rung out 'bove the din,
'Dude lacking penis like shark with no fin!'

When Grandfather turned out whole lack of help,
He went to see mother -- not father, who'd yelp.
Spoke of the future and of his resolve,
(Argh! All the other things ending in -olve,
Mess with my story: revolve and involve...)

Sed, 'Surely salvation should be close at hand,
Know fear to dwell safely at home in this land.'
All in all Momma had words to becalm,
Then again mothers are always a balm,
Then she admitted she re-phrased a Psalm.

Our poor dear downtrodden and heroic boy,
Found him a storefront that sold an, um, er, toy.
Has his own lady -- don't misunderstan',
Knows of his problem and stands by her man,
Of his new toy she became a big fan.

He knew his decision to become a guy,
Would be lots of trouble but he had to try.
Their love life was stilted due to his lack,
And when his new toy was fun in the sack,
Two-headed dildoes became their new tack.

His one big regret in the life he'd not crave,
Was that he'd sure miss it, the 'riding the wave!'
This new improved tool be all he'd now need?
The idea was odd, but picking up speed,
His girlfriend, for sure, a beast that was freed!

I ask you, dear reader, is he less a dude?
He's scratching and belching, and sometimes quite crude!
I know a Transman who's witty and fun,
Rough, tough, and virile but not overdone,
This tale, though funny, is still a true one.

In my own opinion, he's still 'such a guy,'
Pulls pranks on his fellas, like, "Zip up your fly!"
Sad fact remains that he hasn't a schlong,
But calling him 'girl' is just plain dead wrong,
His logic for non-op: a needless dong.

His solution's elegant and quite refined,
His mammaries cut off, so no need to bind,
Nothing inserted where sun never shines,
He doesn't have what it takes to make signs,
In the fresh snowfall unless it's with Heinz.

A lot of guys out there may think that it's sick,
But multiple orgasm's such a NEAT TRICK!
My buddy, mon frere, the man with a cunt,
Likes all the man things: to spit and to hunt,
Screams at the Teevee when his team takes bunt!


Source URL:https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/4611/edeyns-poetry