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Allycen

Author: 

  • Allycen

Organizational: 

  • Author Page

Audience Rating: 

  • General Audience (pg)
BigCloset TopShelf Featured Author
Allycen

nobility?

Author: 

  • New Author
  • Allycen

Audience Rating: 

  • Restricted Audience (r)

Publication: 

  • Fiction
  • 7,500 < Novelette < 17,500 words
  • Verse, Poetry, Lyric

Genre: 

  • Transgender
  • Crossdressing
  • Non-Transgender

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)

nobility?

We all have days where we loose our way.

Where we get wrapped up in the wrong thing.

Where stop being and merely exist.

On these days, we need to step back

We need to step back.
Out of our own....
Being, mind, heart

And figure out.
Not what we want.
Not what we need.
But...

What we believe in.

What we want to represent.

What we want to be, on a fundamental level.

THEN, and only then can we figure out, truly....

What we want,
What we need,
What to do,
And where to go.

This is where we can make the right decision for us.

Because if we do not know ourselves,
How can anyone else?

We can ask for help,

We can ask for direction,

We can ask for a miracle.

But until we find that core, of what we are,
which no one can help with, no one can provide insight to,
How can we let anyone influence anything,
Without living a lie?

......

Living this lie makes a lot of us selfless.
Wanting to help everyone.
For no regard for ourselves.

To give anyone "deserving" everything.

To give them, money, support, anything we can, even if it hurts us.

To protect them any way we can, no matter what, even from themselves.

This makes us good people?

Does it?

Is the person that kills 1 innocent to save a hundred, thousand, million innocents a good person?

This is no different,
This is one in the same.

This is no regard for oneself.

We merely survive in the hope that we can make something meaningful,

Of the nothing we feel ourselves to be,

With the addition, of our warped sense of logic, and honor.

"Okay I put myself in a bad position to help a friend, a stranger, or anyone worthy, at the sacrifice of myself, which isn't worth much"

That is the mindset of both these scenarios.

This is the mindset of the martyr,
The noble,
The fool.

To put no worth in oneself, this
Is evil in itself.

Needed, sometimes, in extremes, maybe, but still evil.

How can we weigh the lives of everyone if we don't include ourselves in that equation.

"All men are created equal".

Okay but more to the point, gender bias aside,
"All PEOPLE are created equal".

.........

But if we are all created equal, how can we put a value on anything?

............

Your life means more than mine so i will give you everything to make yours better (selfless person giving everything to a .... "Love", friend, family, lover).

I will hunt your enemies, I will do anything so no stain sets on your soul, and you can LIVE.

Or....

You are an innocent but I cannot protect you, there are many others I can protect by sacrificing you, and thus my soul.

Where is the difference?

In this ones mind, there is none.

But this ALL makes the equation unequal.

To break it into simple algebra, we are trying to a make an equation of X + Y = Z when there is a Q variable in there.

We are the Q.

We are the variable that wants to remain hidden? Why?

.......

Because that is what we feel we should be.....

We are the noble. The martyr. The one that protects everything we can.

But we are wrong. We don't figure in Q.

We are worth it too.

So what do we do? Move on?

No.

We have to step back and find that core.

We have to decide, x+y=z+q
Or x+y+q=z
Or q=x+y+z

Who are we, and are we worth, anything but being a martyr?
On any level?
........

We are higher because we ask ourselves this question regularly?

No, we do what we need to,

What we need to, me damned the consequences.

As long as it is "right".

Nobility? 2

Author: 

  • Allycen

Audience Rating: 

  • Mature Subjects (pg15)

Publication: 

  • Fiction
  • Verse, Poetry, Lyric
  • 500 < Short Story < 7500 words

Genre: 

  • Transgender
  • Non-Transgender
  • Transitioning
  • Crossdressing

Permission: 

  • Posted by author(s)

Once we figure out what we are
What we represent,
Our core.

Its time to make a decision.

What do we do with that information?

Do we chase our dreams?

We all have many dreams,
If we cannot have them all how do we choose?

Which dreams to chase......

Again, we cannot decide this until we decide what is the most important to us.

Save everyone? Save ourselves? Find a balance point?

Save no one and find our own happiness?

I found my own answer.

There are many things I want, and need, but the price is to high. For me.

To sacrifice everything for a dream that will never come to be and always be alone...... It is to much.

I will sacrifice the lesser dream in the hopes I can find someone, and help others along the path.

Or at least lay a better path for future generations.

But I am done sacrificing everything for something I will never have.

I will support everyone I can, but I have to do what is right for me, even if it is not what I "want".

Time to grow up and realize we don't always get everything we want.

And its time to stop sacrificing everything on a pipe dream or a "noble concept"

Find THE path.
The path to be happy,
And help everyone you can,
Without sacrificing everything.

But this is my path, not everyone's.

Be true, to yourself.

Be true to your core.

And find your own way in life.


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