She knew she would have to tell her family what was going on but she kind of dreaded that day. She was getting very tired of hiding herself and her body was forcing the issue rather quickly as of late. Would her sister and mother accept her? She didn’t know but she sucked at lying and her Allan façade was fading rapidly.
Michelle
Chapter 1
Amber checked her reflection in the full length mirror; her pale light freckled skin showing off her Scottish roots her mid back length thick red hair shimmered in the light of the room. Her green eyes popped with the black eyeliner. She had to use brown eye shadow because she needed to put in her blue contacts.
Thick full eyelashes and perfectly shaped eyebrows, which may cause her some problems at school on Monday but it was worth it to her. The green button up capped sleeved blouse showed off her pert C cup breasts. Her black faux leather mini skirt sat about mid-thigh.
Placing her feet in the 4 inch stiletto black heeled pumps and black stockings showed off her long trim legs. The extra length from the heels made the 4’10” girl stand at 5’2” and she loved it.
At 16 Amber and her twin sister Amanda were as close as siblings could be and as she looked in the mirror she noticed that she looked almost exactly like Amanda.
That would not work Amber knew she couldn’t be recognized so she placed the platinum blonde real hair wig she’d purchased for her outings, in place and pined it with bobby pins so it would stay.
She really wished she didn’t have to hide her true looks but her hair and eyes along with her height would make it too easy for someone to recognize her or at least the family and that would create issues.
She should have gone to support her sister at the volleyball game but Jordan was playing in her first varsity basketball game tonight.
So she had faked being sick so she could see Jordan play. She’d had a crush on Jordan for over a year since she had seen her freshman year. Not that Jordan had ever seen or met her, but that was ok because tonight Jordan would see her but they still wouldn’t meet because if they did it would be very bad.
Locking the door Amber climbed into the cab she had requested for pick up, it wouldn’t do to walk to the school, not that it was cold outside even being late November but walking to school would leave openings that Amber was not ready to deal with.
She knew she would have to tell her family what was going on but she kind of dreaded that day. She was getting very tired of hiding herself and her body was forcing the issue rather quickly as of late. Would her sister and mother accept her? She didn’t know but she sucked at lying and her Allan façade was fading rapidly.
Amber left the cab and walked into the school, the crowd wasn’t so bad that she felt shoved into people but she did notice a few looks her way from boys and even overheard a girlfriend tell her boyfriend he was a jerk for looking at another girl.
She tried to ignore them as best she could and made her way into the gym and found a seat next to some of the other girls. She chose a seat that was up front so she could see the game and that maybe Jordan would see her, after all that was the whole point of coming to the game.
Amber waited patiently for the game to start and tried to ignore the looks and scowls that were sent her way. No one tried to talk to her and that was fine with her she really didn’t want to make up a lie that she might have to remember later.
Looking across the court she saw her dream girl, Jordan had long thick black hair with a tan that was slightly faded due to the winter months. Jordan was tall at 5’6” she had a slender athletic build and pert breasts probably a B cup but on her body they were perfect, she looked damn good. Jordan’s piercing blue eyes that Amber knew she could get lost in for days.
Chapter 2
Jordan sat on the bench listening to Coach Higgins go over last minute preparations, when she saw her walk in and take a seat right in the front of the gym floor. Jordan’s breath stuck in her lungs she was staring and she knew it, that wasn’t safe but oh my god where did she come from?
She was so preoccupied looking at the beauty across from her that it took the coach tapping her knee to get her back to what was going on.
Coach smiled at the team and said “All right girls’ it’s the first game of the season lets show them what we are made of”!
Jordan stood up to get into the team circle, she glanced at the girl one last time and was surprised to see her smile and giver a small finger wave. God she was adorable. Chiding herself to get back into focus she joined the team and got ready to play.
The game was close we were down by 3 at halftime, and the game went back and forth for the remainder of the game with 5 seconds left down by 2 Kellie passed the ball to Jordan to take the game winning 3. The defender ran at her trying to stop her from advancing and she collided with Jordan knocking her to the floor just as Jordan shot.
Fouled on a three pointer with no time left on the clock Jordan was awarded 3 foul shots, the Lady Tigers could win if she made all three foul shots, and Jordan was the best foul shooter on the team. Walking to the line waiting to receive the ball from the ref she glanced at the girl, who in turn mouthed the words “you can sink them” and then she smiled.
Jordan felt so light and full of confidence even with the crowd screaming and chanting Jordan could only see that smile. She got the ball from the ref and went through her foul shot routine sinking the first shot the crowd erupted.
The second shot she focused on nothing but her routine and her mind cleared as the ball left her fingers she knew it was good the swoosh of the net couldn’t even be heard as the crowd got louder and louder.
The routine came naturally to Jordan, she had been shooting foul shots since she could get the ball to go that far. She let the ball float off her fingers it arched towards the hoop the ball hit the back of the rim and bounced up into the air the crowd held its breath hoping for a miracle.
The ball continued in its flight up hit the front of the rim and rolled back through the hoop.
The gym exploded as the crowd cheered and yelled, Jordan was accosted by her teammates as she was sucked into the enormous group hug. Jordan looked to the bleachers the girl gave her finger wave smiled and made her way to the exit.
Chapter 3
The weekend passed like it usually did with Amber locked in her room hiding from the world and her family. She talked to them at dinner and on Saturday she had listened to Amanda tell the story of the volleyball match and how they had won in the fifth set having to win 3 straight. Amber for a small second had wished that she had been there to watch Amanda play.
The rest of the time she tried to stay out of there way it was lonely and she had no friends to even try to talk to. Amanda had left to hang out with her friends at the mall and then they came back to and had a sleepover that night.
So Amber had spent all night listening to Amanda and her friends as they put on a modeling show of their new purchases. They had watched movies and had popcorn and played games long into the night.
Amber had listened to it all and cried alone in her bed all night. Wondering what she had done to deserve the life she lived. These dark thoughts and others stayed with her the rest of the weekend.
Amber walked into her bedroom from the shower, she knew she had to get ready for school but she just didn’t even want to try to play the game today. She was tired of the façade that was Allan. She was tired of hiding herself, she was sick of feeling like she lived under a very dark cloud one that never went away. She felt so lost and she just didn’t know what to do.
Friday had been the best night of her life! Yes she had been out and about before which is why she had the clothes that she did, the wig and the contacts. But the outings had been short and long amounts of time in between.
But on Friday she had spent the whole time surrounded by her entire school and no one had known who she was. She had been treated like a girl from more than just a sales girl. She’d had fun flirting with Jordan and she had been able to be herself for 7 hours it was almost perfect.
She had a couple of hours each day before Amanda would be home from volleyball practice but that only seemed to add insult to injury. And mom always returned home at 6pm so even if by some fluke Amanda had to stay later there just wasn’t time.
Every time she had been able to go out dressed was because her mom and sister went and did girl things that a boy just wouldn’t understand. Amber often wondered if her mother blamed her for their father running out on them.
He’d left on the day she and her sister were born and left the divorce papers with the attending nurse, not even bothering to sign the birth certificates. Ya he was a real piece of work, thank god he’s not even remotely in the picture.
Maybe if she hadn’t been born he’d have stayed? When Amber was born she was in the lowest of all the child categories. She was just small nothing else had been wrong or different with her body. Amanda had been in the normal average categories so it surely hadn’t been because of her.
Her genitals had never been like the other boys in school and when she started high school she forged a doctor’s note to get excused from PE and into study hall because changing in a locker room full of boys just made her sick not to mention that she would have been beat to hell.
Plus there was the fact that her body for the last year had been going through a female puberty. Even being in a somewhat enlightened city, she still lived in Salt Lake City Utah and people still didn’t like or understand girls like her.
Amber had always felt like a girl in her mind, heart and soul. She loved and looked up to Amanda and when she was little she couldn’t wait to grow up to be just like her.
Amanda looked at herself in her full length mirror, she was happy with her height at 5’6” it worked great especially for volleyball. Her long thick red hair hung in a ponytail down to her butt, her green eyes shown with the excitement of the day to begin she loved mornings, unlike her brother who hated anytime that had an am after the number.
Her black skinny jeans showed off her long legs, her athletic body and her butt which she honestly thought was her best feature. The grey blouse she wore showed off her boobs but they were not as big as she wanted, she was a B cup and wished she was a D.
Amanda walked out of her bedroom to go down stairs to eat before walking to school with Allan. Her brother was an enigma, he was so small and definitely too sweet and nice to be a boy.
His whole body screamed girl she had been noticing a few things over the last year but she wasn’t prepared to give him a complex. She often wondered how their lives would have been if Allan had been a girl.
She was sure they’d still have the twin speak and they were really close but maybe they would be so much closer and she would be able to talk to him more.
They got along like most siblings but when they were younger they had been so much closer, now he just locked himself away in his room. As far as she could tell he didn’t have any friends and at school he was alone all the time, it seemed even the out casts didn’t want him.
She worked really hard to keep the bullies off of him last year, this year it was like he wasn’t even there just invisible throughout the day which for him was probably better than the alternative.
Still he supported her with volleyball and he was always helping her with her classes and homework. She had gotten the athletics and he’d gotten the brains.
Amanda felt that something was going on with Allan but if he wasn’t ready to talk about it he wouldn’t he was really stubborn in that aspect. She really wished there was something she could do for him she hated to see him so miserable and alone.
As she walked by Allan’s door she noticed it was open just a little, now Allan was eccentric about his door, if it was wide open anyone could come in, if it was shut you had to knock and wait for the word to come in he never left it ajar!
Wondering if she should knock she heard crying and for a split second she thought it was a girl but no way was that possible it had to be Allan. She gently pushed the door open and walked into the room. Allan was sitting shirtless on his bed with his back to the door and he wasn’t just crying he was full blown sobbing. She hated seeing her brother so torn up, without thinking she climbed onto the bed pulling him into her arms and just held him.
Amber folded herself into her sisters arms placed her head into her shoulder and let go with soul wrenching and cleansing sobs. She let Amanda rock her and draw soothing circles on her back. Amber slowly calmed down; as she did she realized she was just dressed in her thong.
She went to sit up and pull away in a rush Amanda spoke softly, “Hey its ok I got you”!
Amber looked up into the smiling face of her sister, could everything really be ok? When she spoke it came out in a squeak, “Can I at least put a shirt on”?
Amanda smiled and started to chuckle “Ya you probably better, your making me jealous”.
Amber just stared at Amanda and asked in a small voice “How come your not freaking out”? Climbing off the bed Amber stood and walked the few feet to her desk chair and grabbed her hoodie, slipping it on she turned around and caught Amanda just staring.
“Is something wrong sis”? Amber asked in a shaky voice.
“No, um… wow….. um wow you just look amazing”! Amanda said ducking her head as she blushed.
“Um can I ask you something”? Asked Amanda.
“Well you saw me naked so I suppose you can ask me anything you would like to”. Amber said quietly.
“Ok, I have a ton of questions but only 3 that I need answered right now before we continue our discussion. Um do you have a name? I mean I’m assuming that you don’t like Allan”?
“Amber” she replied, “I’ve always hated being called Allan”!
“That’s a pretty name, why did you pick that”? Amanda asked deeply curious.
It was Amber’s turn to blush and hide her face behind her hair, “Um… because it’s your middle name and I always wanted to be like you”! Amber said in a rush.
Amanda looked at her new sister with tears in her eyes and rushed Amber and picked her up into a hug and squeezed. “Really”? She asked with wide saucer eyes.
“Yes, now what are your other questions”? Amber asked smiling. Today could have gone so differently than it had and it felt so good to actually tell someone especially her sister and have it go so well.
“Ack um….what a… what oh jeez, whathappenedtoyourpenis”? Amanda asked the question so fast it came out as one word.
“Yes I’d like to hear the answer to that question myself” said a voice from the doorway.
Chapter 4
Amber jumped as she spun towards the door and the voice of her mother. She had a thousand thoughts rush threw her head as she looked at her mom. Oh shit is this where my world comes crashing down? Is this where I get kicked out of the house? Or worse told I have to stay as a boy because my mom already has a daughter? Will she believe me when I tell her all the stuff that’s been going on with me and my body?
Amanda didn’t hesitate she jumped between her mom and Amber, she placed herself right in front of Amber and pulled her directly into her back with Amber’s front. No way was her mother going to get at her on her watch! If she tries to do anything to Amber she’s gonna have to go through me. And she sure as hell better not say anything to her that will hurt her. Thought Amanda.
Sandy Walker laughed at the antics of her children, they were twins through and through and Amanda had always been the protector of her smaller sibling. Although Amanda’s actions did make her stop and think about why Amanda felt the need to protect “Amber”. Did Amanda think that she was going to do or say something to Amber that would require her to be protected? That thought stopped the laugh dead on her lips.
“Amanda” Sandy said softly, “I’m not going to do anything, you can move to the side so I can talk to the both of you”.
Sandy watched as Amber wrapped her arms around Amanda’s waist and gave a small squeeze; Amanda whispered something to Amber that Sandy couldn’t hear and Amanda slid to the side and took a step back so she could wrap her arm around Amber’s waist.
Sandy was amazed at the love shown between the two kids and she felt pride in knowing that at least she had done something right with them. She always knew how to be a mom to Amanda but to a son she wasn’t sure what to do.
She had always tried to show both of them that she loved them and that they were important to her. The only reason she left him home when she took Amanda to go shopping or other “girl things” was because she didn’t want him to get bored and being dragged to the places that Amanda liked to go. She’d been very wrong and it broke her heart.
“Alright girls, sit on the bed and stay put I’m going to go call the school and excuse you for today. We have a lot to sort out it looks like”. Sandy said as she walked from the room to make the call.
The girls moved to the bed and Amanda pulled Amber into her lap, “You ok” she asked Amber. “I won’t let anything happen to you I promise, and I think mom’s ok with everything”.
Amber just nodded her head yes and curled into Amanda’s bigger body and waited for their mom to come back.
Sandy walked back into the room and smiled at her kids and slid the desk chair over to face her daughter’s, “ok um Amber I believe you need to tell us what’s going on because I’m a bit lost. I heard some of what you told Amanda but I want it from the beginning just know that regardless of what you have to tell me I will always love you”!
“That goes double for me sis” Amanda said into Amber’s ear.
Taking a deep breath and snuggling closer into Amanda, Amber closed her eyes trying to gather all her thoughts. She’d waited so long for this day and now that it was here she didn’t know where to start. Not knowing what else to do she decided to start with the first time she felt different.
First off I’m pretty sure transgendered but we would need the doctor’s to do their thing to find that out for sure. So with that in mind I’ve always wanted to be like Amanda, when we were little I wanted to do everything that she did. I wanted to play with her dolls and other toys and wear pretty dresses just like her. Then in kindergarten I learned why I couldn’t do those things when they made the boys sit on one side of the tape square and the girls on the other side and every time I tried to sit next to Amanda the teacher would make me move. I thought she was being so mean.
Turns out everyone thought I was a boy and that’s why I couldn’t do the things I wanted to do, the things that felt normal and right to me. So I tried to do what I was supposed to do. I tried but I just couldn’t do it. I make a horrible boy especially because of my size. Everyone kept saying I would hit my growth spurts and turn into a nice young man, um yuuuuck so I just stayed me and tried to do the best I could.
Then when we went to middle school and had to go to PE I noticed that I wasn’t built down below like other boys, yes I have something that looked like a penis but it’s really only just a flap of skin that I pee out of and I can only pee sitting down. It’s even lower down than it should be and I don’t have testicles.
Some of the boys in eighth grade used to talk about wet dreams and other icky stuff and I never experienced that, thank the goddess for small favors. Then when Amanda started going through her puberty I became very jealous of her and what her body was doing. I wanted so much for it to be me!
Then like a week later I noticed my chest itching, then by the time we reached high school I was slightly bigger than a B cup, and my body looked really good, but for someone who was supposed to be born a boy I was in trouble and I knew it so I forged a doctor’s note to get out of PE because I knew that it wouldn’t matter how much Amanda tried to protect me, and in there with them I would be dead so I had to get out of that class.
That’s why I insisted on going went shopping for clothes on my own because boy clothes didn’t fit and I had to shop in the juniors to get anything that would fit. I just got stuff that looked boyish and wore big hoodies to hide my boobs which by the way gets really hot during the summer.
And I’ve gone out dressed as a girl every chance I get which isn’t as often as I want, but on Friday that’s why I was “sick”, sorry Amanda but had I had to um……. Ya I wanted to go out dressed.
Amanda wasn’t buying that last statement, “Uh uh not so fast little sis why didn’t you go to my game”? “And I want the truth because I’m not buying what your selling”.
“Shit!” sighed Amber. “Can’t we just skip to the what happens now part”?
“Oh no my child I think we both deserve an answer to that question” replied Sandy. “And watch your language young lady”!
Amber smiled at that, “yes mom”.
“Ok look um….are you sure you want to know? Don’t you think you’ve had enough surprises for one day”? Amber asked hopefully.
“Oh god do you like a boy already”? Sandy asked with a smile.
Amanda sat back and watched the interaction between her sister and their mom; she’d seen the slight flinch in Amber’s face and felt her tense at the word boy. “I don’t think that’s it mom, what’s her name?” Amanda asked with the smirk lighting up her face.
Amber couldn’t keep the smile off her face as a picture of Jordan entered her mind. Just the thought of her made her happy.
Amanda chuckled at the smile lighting up her sister’s face, “Well? And please don’t tell me she’s a cheerleader”?
Sandy sat back in her chair; she could now see why Amber had wanted to skip this part because not only was she Transgendered, she was also a lesbian. Her child definitely had a hard road ahead of her, but she would be with her every step of the way. She would not fail her again.
“It’s ok sweetie I understand why you didn’t want to tell us right this minute but you might as well know that I don’t care and I think I can say this for me and your sister when I say we will be with you all the way”.
Amber couldn’t believe how things had turned out, she had no illusions that her life was going to be easy but with the love of her family behind her she knew life would be ok.
“No Amanda she’s not a cheerleader, but what’s wrong with cheerleaders?” “Anyway her name is…. Jordan Sanderson”.
“Oh my god! Really? Wow you sure know how to pick’em don’t you, and there’s nothing wrong with cheerleader’s I just wanted to lighten the mood and tease you a little”. “It’s my job as the older and bigger sister”! Amanda smiled as she spoke.
“Hey your only older by five minutes, I’ll give you the bigger part though” laughed Amber.
Amanda looked at Amber and asked, “Well did you talk to Jordan”?
Amber shook her head no, “I just sat so I could see her and watch the game, I waved and smiled at her and when the game was over I just left mostly because I wanted to make sure I got home before you guys”. Said Amber.
Amanda looked at her mom and then at Amber and stage whispered, “Can I see you all dressed up?”
Amber looked at Amanda and blushed as she said, “Really? Why? Honestly sis just look in the mirror, I’m just shorter”.
“Look sis I know were twins but come on you won’t look like me and I really want to see my little sister out of a damn hoodie”! Amanda exclaimed with a smile.
“Amanda! Language” Said their mom throwing up her arms, “Although I would like to see my second daughter as well” she said with a smile.
“Ok jeez you two act like I just showed up after sixteen years of being in another country” Amber exclaimed with a huge smile breaking her face.
“Well duh that’s pretty much what it’s been like and don’t act like your not excited I can feel the excitement in your whole body I am still holding you, you know!” Amanda said as she squeezed Amber even harder.
“Can’t breathe” whimpered Amber while smiling she loved how much her sister showed that she loved her, something that had been missing for the last year.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so distant from you guys, I didn’t want to be and you both have been so wonderful today I’m so happy. You will never know what this means to me and how much the pain I’ve been feeling the last year plus has just disappeared” said Amber with tears streaming down her face.
“Ok so let’s see the new you!” Exclaimed Amanda as she left to get dressed as well.
Sandy said “I’ll be downstairs getting some coffee and you girls will have to eat cold cereal today, plus I need to make some phone calls. Amanda can you get me Linda’s mom’s phone number please”?
Amber looked in her closet for something to wear the clothes she had she had worn several times and she wished she had something new for today. The light bulb went off and she ran into Amanda’s room.
Amanda looked up to see her sister in her door way in just her bra and panties. God how could anyone have thought she was a boy she asked herself. If she was taller she would swear that Amber was her. Well she really thought Amber was much more beautiful than her.
She had the figure and the breasts, oh man was she jealous of her sister? Maybe a little she admitted to herself. But she couldn’t help to be happy for her either because Amber had lived with so much pain for a long time so if a little jealousy was the cost then she would pay it.
Besides Amber had chosen her name to be closer to her so how could she not love her?
“Hey sis do you have something I could wear for today? I mean I have a few things but I was looking for something different you know” Amber asked blushing.
“Ohhhhhhhhhh can I dress you and do your makeup to?” asked Amanda.
“Um sure I don’t see why not” Amber said with a smile.
Amanda looked in her closet for a minute and asked, “Is that the lingerie you want to wear?”
Amber looked at her black lacy bra and black silk thong, “I was going to” replied Amber.
“I can’t believe you can wear a thong and you look no different than I do when I wear them” Amanda said somewhat shocked.
“I know isn’t it great?” Amber answered happily.
“Here put this skirt and blouse on, I think I have some nylons around here someplace” said Amanda as she thrust the clothes into her sister’s arms.
“Oh I have some don’t worry sis, thanks for this it really means the world to me”.
Amber took the clothes went back to her room and put on her garter belt and black thigh high stockings. She then pulled on the thigh length black jean skirt stepped into her 3 inch wedged heels and buttoned up the red elbow length sleeved blouse. She looked pretty if she did say so herself.
Amber then walked back to Amanda’s room, knocked on the open door and waited for her to turn around. Amanda spun at the knock and just stared at Amber, Amanda had never looked that good in that blouse. When she could pick her jaw up off the floor a sudden thought hit Amanda.
“Holy shit, you look just like me!” Amanda exclaimed.
“Well we are twins ya know sis” smirked Amber.
“Umm well ya but I mean we look exactly the same especially with you in those heels. How do you go outside and I’ve not ever heard of me being in two places at once?” asked a rather confused Amanda.
“Oh I knew I forgot something, be right back” Amber said over her shoulder as she went to her room to put on her wig and contacts.
Amanda was too curious to wait and followed her and sat quietly as she watched her red headed sister become a stunning blonde with bright blue eyes.
“Wow!” squealed Amanda.
He was standing in front of the mirror in his parent’s room looking at himself knowing he must be doing something wrong but he felt so much more comfortable when he was wearing his mother’s clothes, today he had chosen a black one-piece mini, black seamed thigh highs, his moms 3 inch heels.
Michelle
The Night part 1
The rain pounded against the window and the tree outside scratched the pain with the force of the wind it wasn’t too late like 7:oo pm and Johnny’s mom was supposed to be home from work for at least three more hours and his dad was out of town on a business trip. Johnny had the small desk lamp on for some light to see but he didn’t want the room light on incase the neighbors were watching he knew that the neighborhood was full of gossips! He was standing in front of the mirror in his parent’s room looking at himself knowing he must be doing something wrong but he felt so much more comfortable when he was wearing his mother’s clothes, today he had chosen a black one-piece mini, black seamed thigh highs, his moms 3 inch heels. The shoes were a little big but they fit well enough for the short amount of time he would get to play. As he was studying his reflection looking at his 5’ 10” frame he couldn’t but help to wish that he didn’t get any taller and his 115 pounds was plenty as far he was concerned. His shoulder length hair was full and thick with some natural curl that some of the girls he went to school with he knew they were jealous. His dad was always screaming for him to get a haircut and his mom would say “Johnny do you want me to start calling you Jasmine”? Johnny would automatically tell her “NO” but inside he was screaming “YES finally” but he never told anyone his secret, so he lived in mental pain and agony as a boy. Seeing the reflection made him realize that he was and always had been a girl but there was something missing? Ah make up he’d never tried before but tonight “hey why not” I’m going all the way; he had watched his mom several times so he had an idea of what to do. He smiled as looking in his mom’s makeup kits. Choosing a light colored foundation, a blue eye shadow to bring out the green in his eyes and black eyeliner to improve their shape. Having to redo his eyes several times he started to get the hang of it and finally they looked ok, picking up a red lip stick and applying it almost perfectly, a little blush and the look was complete in the mirror looked to be a 17 year old girl instead of the 16 yr. old boy he was delighted with how Jasmine looked!
The tree smacked the window with such force that it broke and Jasmine swore that at that moment the rain lighting and thunder picked up and the room was getting soaked. Running well not as fast as he could because have you ever tried to run in 3” heels wow they are hard to move in but she loved the way they made her body swish anyways, down the stairs to the kitchen and threw the basement door she found the old boxes they had stored there, grabbing one and stopping in the kitchen for some tape she headed for the hamper on her way back upstairs she grabbed a towel and ran back to the window. Taping the card board over the broken part of the window she used the towel to mop up the rain water, doing so she knocked the lamp off the desk and it shattered on the hard wood floor, sending the room into total blackness oh damn mom’s gonna be so pissed when she gets home! Suddenly the lighting popped right in front of the window filling the room with an eerily bright light it only lasted seconds but he saw the dark shadow in the door way seconds before the bedroom light flicked on. There standing in the door frame was his mother “oh shit” exclaimed Johnny as he stared at his mom and she stared back at him, he had lost track of time and now he was in it way deep he just knew he was dead.
Shirley stood open mouthed at the figure next to the window, she was so shocked to see a girl standing there instead of her son and then when she looked closer she saw that it was her son she went from shock to anger to confused all in about 30 seconds. Not knowing what to say she only said what popped into her head at the moment “you better get out of those wet clothes and get cleaned up and ready for bed then come downstairs to the living room evidently we have the need for a serious conversation”, Turning on her heel she went downstairs for a cup of coffee her head was beginning to hurt.
Johnny stood his face doing the goldfish look all he could think was oh boy I’m so dead. Finally he shook the shock of his mom from his mind and went next door to his room and got out of the wet clothes, going to the bathroom he washed his face, putting on sweats and a t-shirt he headed downstairs putting his moms wet clothes in the hamper as he went.
Shirley was sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for her son to come down to talk, oh my god what do I say how should I handle this, did we do something wrong as parents, is he gay? Is it a sexual fetish? Even as these thought entered her head she knew that she had to remain calm and not get mean or mad for if she did Johnny was sure to clam up and not say what was really going on. Damn what would she tell Kent, Johnny’s father he would be sure to blow a gasket. She heard the floor creak from above and said “Johnny its ok I’m not going to scream at you, but I do need to know what’s going on”!
Standing on the first stair Johnny heard his mom call, she seemed calm not ready to eat him for lunch maybe this would be ok and he could just say he’d never do it again and that he was sorry and that would be the end of it, I mean it’s not like I broke the window although he had broken the lamp he need to make sure he said he was sorry for that to! Walking into the living room his mom looked up at him and patted the couch next to her, he sat about as rigid and tense as could be, his mom seeing the fear and tension on her sons face and feeling how he sat down she slid next to him and grabbed him a tight hug, holding him tight like she used to when he was a little boy she was wiping tears from her eyes as she remembered when Johnny had first told her he was too big and old for hugs and tonight he never flinched instead he returned the hug just as tight. Slowly they separated a bit and his mom looked him right in the eye and said
“um you still have eyeliner and mascara on”
“oh I’m sorry mom I’ll go fix that” he went to get up she grabbed his arm “it’s ok later you can, right now I think we need to talk”. “Look mom I’m sorry I’ll never do it again can we just forget it ever happened”?
“No Johnny we can’t, by your appearance tonight I’m guessing that tonight was not the first time you have done this, is it”? “You looked very good it took me a minute to recognize you”.
Johnny blushed, “your right mom, if I tell you promise you won’t be mad, call me a freak or hate me”?
“Johnny if I was going to be mad I’d be screaming right now, don’t you think”? Johnny nodded. “Look I have some questions, you answer them and then you can tell me what’s really going on ok”! Nodding again Johnny let out a slow breath still waiting for the hammer to fall. “Ok first of all what happened to the window and the lamp”?
A little taken aback by the question he shrugged and smiled, “the tree broke the window because of the storm and I broke the lamp cleaning up the mess”.
“Well I’m glad you were home to fix the window that could have been a real mess”. “Now how long has this been going on, the dressing and makeup”?
“I’m sorry mom,” taking a breath and slowly exhaling he jumped into his answer. “I’ve been dressing in your clothes for years, at least every chance I get, at least five years, tonight was the first time I tried makeup I always thought you would notice before”.
“So why try the makeup tonight”? “It’s Friday and I could sleep in tomorrow so I felt I could really get it off and you wouldn’t see”. “Ok, so are you gay? Is this a sexual thing”?
Ah, he should have been anticipating this question. “I don’t think I’m gay cause guys don’t do that for me, but I did get an arousal from it when I first started but like tonight I just feel so alive and free and it seems like it’s a part of me that wants to be out and free”.
“I see”, not really understanding but not wanting to sound like she didn’t understand the whole thing, thinking boys are born with a penis and girls with a vagina how could a boy feel like they were a girl? “Well, I need to think about this some more and I’ll tell you what I think tomorrow, so off to bed”! “Um mom we don’t have to tell dad do we”? “I don’t know yet we will have to see”.
Getting up to his room, the storm still going on outside making Johnny think that’s how my insides feel, and I’ll never get to sleep. Climbing into bed it was a matter of a minute before he was lightly snoring. Climbing the stairs Shirley opened her son’s door to check on him, she had done it ever since he was born and she wouldn’t stop now. Looking at her son she saw the peace in which he slept and she couldn’t help but wonder if it was the dressing that had made her son feel at piece inside.
Lying in bed she ran the nights events through her head, one thing for certain she couldn’t tell Kent he would freak and want their son examined in a mental hospital or worse he would try to beat it out of Johnny and she knew that would only make things worse. She had always wanted a daughter but it wasn’t in her cards and they were fortunate to get Johnny at all. Something was wrong with her plumbing and when Johnny was born they had to do a hysterectomy. Thinking of Johnny she thought back on his child hood, he had always been so happy playing with the neighbor kids and with her and Kent, but as he got older she remembered him mostly playing with the girls of the neighborhood the boys were few and far between so that’s what she thought it was, as he got into school it changed as he made a few friends that were boys doing the sleep over thing, camping and fishing. He was a boy scout he loved to go with his dad hunting and out riding horses when Kent could he was always so busy, Johnny played basketball and baseball clear until high school when not having any more fun he stopped but he had joined the track team and played football so he was all boy right? He had a girlfriend, oh shit did she know? God that could destroy him if his dressing as a girl got out. She decided to sleep on it and hopefully have some ideas in the morning.
Johnny was sleeping peaceful and having a great dream of being at peace with himself and knowing he was a girl it didn’t matter he had been born in the wrong body it could be fixed he knew he looked online computers were so cool, he was dressed in the same clothes from earlier tonight looking at stuff on the internet chatting with some friends online that were like him when the door burst open and there stood his father looking like the devil he had red eyes and he was screaming at the top of his lungs “No kid of mine is gonna be a pansy ass faggot and he was gonna beat this shit out of him”! his father walked in and proceeded to punch him in the body, the face and finally he ripped all the clothes off of him, Johnny was on the floor and Kent kept at it only kicking him in the ribs and head as his hands were sore from the punches. Moments later Shirley ran in to see what was going on she found Johnny on the floor shivering, crying and just plain scared when she was able to calm him down Johnny realized it was just a nightmare, he felt embarrassed about having woke his mom and for having a nightmare he was too old for those. Regaining his composure he said “sorry mom, didn’t mean to wake you it was just a stupid dream, what’s the matter with me”? Whispering to him “Nothing’s wrong with you we all have bad dreams its ok lay down and go back to sleep”.
Laying back down he fell into a restless sleep, waking up with a start he looked over at the clock wow 6:00 am he never got up this early, oh well might as well get going, getting up he went into the bathroom got into the shower and as the water started to beat the tension from his body he couldn’t help but to wonder how it would feel if he had real breasts? He looked down at his deformity and began to get depressed, quickly getting washed he rinsed off and got dried off. Going back into his room he got dressed in the normal boy clothes black t shirt and a pair of blue jeans, he hated how rough guy clothes were to the smoothness of his moms from last night. Slipping on his tennis shoes he went down stairs, he would make breakfast his mom would be up soon and she would appreciate the gesture.
Going into the kitchen he started the coffee, and looked into the fridge for the eggs, ham, bacon and some eggs, he couldn’t make much but he could do omelets! He was just whipping the eggs and adding the meats when his mom came down for her coffee he handed her a cup. Surprised that he was up let alone cooking she hesitated to take the cup, seeing the hesitation Johnny looked at the floor set the cup down was about to head out the back door at a dead run
when his mom reached his arm, “Johnny I’m sorry it has nothing to with last night I was just shocked to see you up and cooking, she giggled your never up before ten”!
Looking up at his mom seeing the way she looked at him he understood what she meant, “I thought I would do something nice for you since you didn’t kill me last night”. “Well thank you, but I was never going to kill you”. “Your father on the other hand just might”.
“Oh shit you’re going to tell him”? “No honey, I think that he doesn’t need to know, but you need to promise to stop doing this because I believe that the outcome could be devastating for you and us”. “Ok mom, you are the only one that knows and I know I won’t say anything”. God I hope I can, thought Johnny but I’m going to try hard to keep mom happy.
It being Saturday Johnny went upstairs and called his girlfriend, “Hi Julie what are your plans for today”? “Let’s go shopping and to the afternoon movie”. “Sounds good to me, I’ll be over in a moment”. He loved going shopping with Julie she was gorgeous and loved to try on lots of clothes and he got to see her in them and wonder how he would look in them, god her in a bra and panty set sent him into orbit, oh he would pretend just enough that she didn’t wonder if there was something up.
He went out and got into his older 90’s black Camaro, it was a present from his parents on his 16th birthday he and his dad had spent lots of weekends working on it to get it drivable. New tires, rims a new engine and suspension Johnny had spent hours washing and waxing the paint to get it to shine, and of course the stereo was a kick ass pioneer system.
He pulled into Julies driveway and ran up to the door, his mother would kill him if he ever honked the horn for a girl, knocking he waited for an answer.
Julie’s mom answered and invited him saying “Julie Johnny is here”. She came out in a yellow sundress that came just above her thigh and wow he just stared her makeup was flawless and her lips just so kissable. Johnny just stared and smiled at her Julie grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the door “let’s go goofy”. Smiling sheepishly Johnny followed her out to the car.
The Night
Part Two
By Michelle Kelley
Part Two Continues Here
Special thanks to Richard for editing this story
On the drive to the mall Julie was talking excitedly about all the new clothes that she wanted to try on and the jewelry that would go with them! As she talked, Johnny was lost in thought as he himself was wondering how he would look in the clothes? He shook his head trying to clear his mind, Julie seeing the movement asked, “Um Johnny are you ok, your awfully quiet and not really paying attention to what I’m saying?”
“Sorry sweetie I am listening to you, I just like to hear the excitement in your voice,” said Johnny smiling weakly.
“Ok but I think something’s on your mind and you know you can tell me anything and trust me completely”.
“I do trust you; it’s just something I have to think about first ok, I’ll tell you soon if I can’t work it out first ok?”
Feeling a little put out Julie replied “Alright.”
The remainder of the trip was silent except for the music from the radio. They pulled into the mall and headed for the first store on Julies list which was one of Johnny’s favorites ‘Victoria’s Secret’. Once inside, they both seemed to replace the uneasiness between them with Julie getting excited again; it was defiantly time for some retail therapy thought Julie. She tried on all her favorites the sexier the better she would show Johnny just to see him squirm.
He loved to see her in her sexy bras and panties but today it just wasn’t as fun as it usually is and he couldn’t understand. I mean even if I like to wear the clothes why can’t I be my usual happy self? He thought, maybe it’s because I’m not supposed to wear mom’s clothes anymore. Is there something wrong with me?
The thought struck him like running into a wall, maybe there was what should he do? Who could he talk to? His mom, she was calm the last time but who knows maybe not to this extent. He could look on the internet but come on you can’t trust all the quacks that are out there. Maybe he could trust Julie!
Coming to the best possible conclusion he caught Julie in between changes, “Hey Jule’s can we talk outside and in private?”
Wondering if this had something to do with the ride over she replied, “Sure, where do you want to go?”
“Um can we go for a ride?”
“Yep let’s go.”
Leaving the clothes there that she didn’t want and buying the three that did make Johnny squirm the most they headed for the car.
Upon entering Johnny turned to Julie “Ok, after we get done if you never want to see me again I’ll understand and take you right home ok.”
Shocked Julie could only wonder what could be that bad. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“Because if you are just take me home, I don’t want to hear your excesses!”
“No I’m not breaking up with you; I can’t imagine my life without you in it!”
Pulling onto the road Johnny headed for the canyon road as he neared the straight away he opened up on the gas and made the next quarter of mile in four sec, he laughed out loud as Julie screamed you would think she would be used to his driving he always drove fast when he could.
They stopped at the overlook that looked out over the reservoir, it was usually quiet during the day but a mess at night when everyone came to play tonsil hokey among other things. Johnny got out and opened Julie’s door, after which he sat on the hood of the car and pulled Julie close to him.
“I love you, you know that right Jules?”
“I love you to, what’s wrong Jonny I’ve never seen you act this way!”
“What’s going on? Please tell me, I hate to see you hurt and act this way!”
Pausing for a minute to collect his thoughts, Johnny blurted “I’m not like other people and by that I mean like other guys, sure I do some of the same stuff but most of the time if I’m not with you I’m by myself.”
“I’ve only ever truly been friends with girls you know that.”
“OH MY GOD, YOU’RE GAY!”
“No I’m not Gay, why is that the first conclusion people jump to good god?”
“If I were gay why would we have been fooling around like we have?”
“Will you just let me finish please”!
************************************
To\ be continued…..
© Michelle Kelley 2013 All Rights Reserved
The Night
Part Three
By Michelle Kelley
Part Three Continues Here
Special thanks to Richard for the editing :)
Johnny looked at Julie; he was trying to gage if she was going to freak out on him again or if he should just clam up and not say anything. “Ok Julie are you going to listen to me and let me explain? Or should we just forget it”?
“Yes Johnny, I’m sorry I over reacted I’ll let you say what you need to” whispered Julie.
Johnny decided he had to play it safe because now he was sure she would freak out and go running to tell the world. He knew it would be complete and utter torture for him if anyone knew, so he went with plan B. Slowly reaching into his pocket he pulled out something and kept his fingers closed around it. Taking Julie’s hand in his other hand he looked Julie in the eyes, he was shaking so bad his voice broke, “I love you Julie and I hope that you love me to”.
Then he slipped his other hand in hers and removed his after letting what was inside into hers. When Julie looked down she gasped at what was there. It was the most beautiful gold ring that was engraved and inlaid with emeralds; the center stone was jade.
Julie stared from the ring back to Johnny; the shocked look on her face was almost too much for Johnny. “It’s only a promise ring and I can take it back if you don’t like it or you think we shouldn’t do this.”
Johnny started to back away from Julie as he decided that this had really just blown up in his face. As he approached the edge of the overlook he felt arms come around his chest and grip him very tight. Looking over his shoulder he saw Julie with the biggest smile on her face that he had ever seen on anyone before and he could do nothing to stop the chuckle that escaped his lips.
Turning so he was looking at her they looked into each other’s eyes and Julie finally spoke, “I love you too Johnny and I would beat you up if you tried to take this ring back!!”
“Johnny I love this ring and you, but why all the stuff about your friends being girls and being weird at the mall?”
“Well I was just nervous thinking that if you had the ring and stuff that things would change.” I can’t ruin the moment it was too perfect, I’ll think about this some more before I do anything to ruin us, he thought.
“Can we go back to the mall and the movie I want to show this ring off,” said a beaming Julie.
“Sure, what store do you want to visit next?”
**************************
Back at the mall they went to lots of stores, Johnny was able to smile and play around with Julie and he was going to be happy today if it killed him. Although he still couldn’t keep the thoughts of what he would look like in the cute outfits that she was trying on he just let it roll off his back, ignoring the pain it caused him and just smiled. After the movie Johnny took Julie home as she had dinner plans with her family.
Before dropping Julie off, they sat in the car at a small park (only minutes from Julies house) kissing those deep sensual kisses that leave you gasping for air. They explored each other’s body and as Johnny slipped his hands up her shirt he traced the outline of her nipples through her bra and got a pleasant and sexy gasp from Julie. He lightly squeezed her perfect C-cup breasts and fingered the nipples some more. He never cared that Julie was unable to do much because her kisses drove him over the edge she would sit on his lap and they would grind into each other’s hot spots, Johnny was into it bad as was Julie they were moaning and breathing hard they were close to losing themselves in ecstasy when Johnny arched his back and drove his pelvis harder into Julies he exploded in his underwear with a momentous groan. Squeezing Julies breasts as he came she came with a sexy small scream. They sat there panting and holding each other for what was too short a time. Johnny pulled into her parents driveway and Julie ran to the house and went inside, waving to Johnny as he pulled out of the drive way. Looking at the clock on the radio it was 6:30 pm cool he had gotten her home a half hour early her parents would like that.
***************************
Upon arriving home Johnny noticed that both his parents’ vehicles were gone. When he entered the house and walked into the kitchen he found a note stuck to the fridge,
Johnny,
We went to the store for groceries we should be back by 9pm there is some stuff in the fridge for a sandwich and some chips in the cupboard, do not make a mess tonight please Honny we could be home sooner, ok!
Love, Mom
Leave it to mom to leave a hint not to dress up even though I told her I wouldn’t she must figure I didn’t listen he grinned. “Oh well what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her!”
Running upstairs to his room he got out of his soiled clothes and ran to the bathroom, started the water and grabbing a razor and some shaving cream he climbed into the hot water letting it cascade down his body and relieving the tension brought on by today’s events. Washing his body, getting the shaving cream he started with his legs and shaved all the hair off his body, which wasn’t much he, was thankful for that. Stepping out of the shower he patted himself dry and put a nice smelling lotion on his skin he loved to be soft and smooth. Going back into his room he looked in his small suitcase in the back of his closet and pulled out a pair of red silk panties and a matching bra that was an A cup so it wasn’t easily detected then he tucked his stuff between his legs and pulled the panties up receiving an electric shock through his veins as he did so. Next he got his sweat pants on and a big baggy t-shirt and ran back down stairs to make his dinner.
Sitting on the couch eating and watching a lame scary movie on TV, he was half asleep when his parents came through the door.
“Go get some of those bags out of the car would you Johnny?”
“Sure dad, no problem.” Grabbing his flip flops he went out to help pack stuff in after it was all brought in he gave his parents a hug and ran up to his room it was time to get some sleep and he needed to check some stuff out on the computer.
Once in his room he booted up the computer and when his home page appeared he typed in the search line “cross-dressing”, he would have done this before but he had just saved up the money for his own computer and he had never wanted to look on the family computer for fear of being checked upon by his parents. The window for the search results popped up and it was full of all kinds of stuff that he knew wasn’t what he wanted. Finding a cool story site he clicked on it and looked through the titles they were interesting he book marked the page and went back to his search; finally he found a published article from a well-known psychologist that sounded like it could get him some answers. In the article it talked about the difference between cross-dressing, drag queens and transgendered people.
Skimming over the high points he landed on the part of transgendered people, reading through it he found several areas that pertained to him, describing how he felt, both in boy clothes and in girls’ clothes. There were all sorts of theories as to how and why this happened and it happened a lot both to males and females. He discovered that it was ok for him to feel the way he did and that there were things that he could do to help him understand things better. The first thing that could be done was to see if this was what was really going on or if it was some sort of sexual phase. So he needed to talk to someone that dealt with transgender people, (he liked that phrase better than the transsexual phrase that was often used). Next he needed a close network of supporting friends and family to help him stay optimistic and confident. Well first things first let’s find someone to help me. Looking at the clock it was well after midnight, let’s get some sleep and search for a Dr. of psychology tomorrow.
Waking up from a peaceful sleep, Johnny glanced at the clock OMG its 11 am half his weekend was gone and he still had his homework and house chores to do.Throwing on some clothes he laughed out loud as he noticed he was still in the bra and panties. Oh well he loved the feel and besides he wasn’t going to be found out he was at home and he could hide things well enough. Finishing getting dressed he ran down stairs and outside to the shed to get the lawn mower and weed whacker. It took him an hour to mow the lawn and trim the edges. Next he took a hammer and some nails and went to the fence that went around the house and tightened up the loose boards he was going to paint it next weekend unless his dad made him do it now. Finishing that up he was all sweaty and gross he went upstairs and took a shower hiding his undergarments under his bed he put on a fresh set in white and got dressed in pants and a shirt wishing the whole time he was in a pair of girl’s tight short shorts.
Making his way down stairs into the kitchen his mom was just starting dinner, “Can I help with anything mom”? He asked.
Looking up from the counter where she was getting the vegetables ready to go in the oven Shirley looked up at her son he never wanted to be in here unless it was to eat!
“Are you feeling ok Johnny?” She asked with a puzzled grin.
“Course, Mom just had some time to spare and thought I would help but if you don’t need me I’ll go to my room and work on my homework till dinner.”
“Well I have everything done and ready to go into the oven for our chicken dinner, but if you could help me clean up afterwards that would be great.”
“Ok mom, glad I can help” said Johnny as he went towards the stairs to go to his room.
Shirley stared thoughtfully after son as he went out. What the hell is going on with him? She asked herself. He’s never wanted to help me before especially on a Sunday with football on TV and with Julie being his girlfriend. I guess either he is growing up or he has a problem and wants to talk hell what could be bugging a teenage boy to the point he would help his mother out with dishes? Hopefully he will say when he comes back down.
***************************
Inside his room Johnny tried as hard as he could to focus on his homework but he just kept thinking about what he had read last night and what he needed to do and shit he had just told his mom he would help with the dishes and help her clean up after dinner. God that was sure to raise a red flag. Deciding to forgo his homework he jumped onto the computer and looked up psychologist in his area. There were none in his town of Richman; but there were a four in the city of Blackrock, that was only a half hour from here. Clicking on the names to read about them as much as he could, three were male and one female he felt that it would be so much easier to talk to a lady than a man about this she would be least likely to laugh he thought, besides the psychologist that wrote the article was female. Ok, Dr. M. Sullivan I hope you can help me. Writing down her information he stuck the paper in his book bag and cracked open his books again this time he was able to get through his homework without much distraction.
He was just finishing up when his mom called him for dinner, putting his stuff away he headed for the stairs and went into the kitchen, his mom and dad were there waiting.
Kent looked up as he came in, “Hey son, are you gonna paint that fence today?” “I saw that you tightened the loose boards.”
“Well I was gonna do that next weekend I sorta promised mom that I would help clean up after dinner.” Johnny replied as he felt the blood rise to his cheeks.
“Um well ok if that’s what you want to do, but it had better be done by next Saturday understand.” Kent’s reply had a slight tinge of annoyance to it.
“Ok dad, thanks I promise it will be done”.
Shirley eyed her husband, what was that about it was perfectly fine to have a boy do dishes, even if Johnny never had before at least on his own accord anyway. She wondered herself what was up but the help far outweighed her curiosity at least for the moment.After dinner Kent went into his study to do some paper work while Johnny and Shirley worked on getting the kitchen cleaned.
“So Johnny did you get your homework done?”
“Yea!”
“Ok baby tell me what’s going on because you are not evidently going to approach the subject without a push.”
“I’m here to help you ok, is this about the other night?”
“Geesh, Mom all I wanted to do was help you out and all of a sudden you turn into the Gestapo, I’m glad were done cleaning cause I need to go see Julie for a while.”
Walking out the door he let the front door close rather hard, jumped into his car and left, leaving a trail of black rubber as he pulled out of the driveway, well he would hear about that when he got back.
Driving through the neighborhood towards Julie’s house he paused smacked his hand against the steering wheel and made a sharp left he headed towards the freeway to Blackrock, he needed some speed to clear his head, cranking up the radio he hit the on ramp and pulled into traffic at 80 mph and was soon at 100 cruising along with the road and hitting turns feeling free for the first time in a long time he grabbed another gear and hit 120 it was the best feeling ever. He was almost in sight of the city looking at the city lights when the car that was behind him finally caught up and hit the red and blues.
“Oh shit, shit, shit, well that was fun too bad it’s over and I’ll be lucky if my parents don’t take my license away till I’m 21”.Johnny slowed down and pulled to the side of the road, he looked in the glove box for his information and rolled down the window as the officer approached the window.
“Boy do you know how fast you were going?” “I clocked you at 130 and you never even saw me go by did you?” “You could kill others or yourself driving as fast and reckless as you were!”
Johnny started, “I’m sorry I was just out clearing my head and wasn’t really caring what I was doing or how fast it seems the faster I go the better I can think.”
“Well that’s a lame ass excuse boy do your parents know where you are?” “Give me your info and I want your home phone number.”
Oh shit I’ve really done it now I’m so dead I’ll never see the light of day! Handing over his info he wrote his phone number on a pad the officer gave him.
******************************
Shirley was on the phone with Julie, “Ok you’re sure he never stopped by and told you where he was going?” “He left here saying he was coming to see you.”
“I wouldn’t lie to you Mrs. Baxter he hasn’t been here,” replied Julie.
“I know sweetie I’m just worried he left in such a hurry he is going to be cleaning up the drive way for a month he left so much rubber and Kent is about ready to kill the poor boy if he comes home.” Just then the call waiting beeped in, “I have to go Julie someone is calling and it might be Johnny.”
“Ok Mrs. Baxter tell Johnny to call me when he can if not I’ll see him at school tomorrow.”
“That will probably be better he’s gonna be in trouble after this!”
“This is the Baxter residence”, said Shirley as she answered the new call.
“Yes this is Lieutenant Jacob Black with the State Highway Patrol”.
“NO, NO not my Johnny,” screamed Shirley!
Kent hearing his wife’s deathly scream came running into the room seeing his wife curled up on the floor sobbing he sat down next to her and held her and then took the phone from her limp hand.
“This is Kent Baxter, who am I speaking to?” he said in torn voice.
“First let me say Johnny is fine and I apologize to your wife, this is Lieutenant Jacob Black and I have your son stopped on the highway for speeding and reckless driving and since it was late and he is a minor I wanted to check things out.” “Um I usually would impound the car and take Johnny into custody and make you pick him up at the station but because of the trauma I caused your wife if you would come to me I will let one of you guys take the car and one take Johnny home.”
“The court will probably suspend his license for a time not sure on that, anyway I am just outside of Blackrock if you are coming I will stay otherwise I’ll get a tow truck coming.”
“Thanks officer we will be there soon, thanks again for finding our boy alive.”
Upon hearing the boy alive part Shirley went from hysterical sad to extremely pissed off, “That boy is so gonna die when I get him in the car to bring him home!!”
“Easy honey maybe I should drive him home and you the other car.”
“No way and besides you know I can’t drive his car it’s too fast and scary.”
******************************
Johnny sat in his car and stared at the night through the windshield god he’s been gone for hours it seemed, if he called mom and dad I think I’m gonna run right now! He looked in the rearview mirror as Officer Black got out of his car he walked up to the window.
“OK son your parents are on their way.”
“Oh Shit um ok I need to stretch my legs for a minute is that ok?”
“Ya, but don’t do anything dumb cause, if I have to chase you down you will go to jail!”
Well Jail will be safer thought Johnny as he got out of the car, it was pitch black no moon very few stars where would he go anyways they would all find him in a day at the very longest and he had no money better to stay and face the music I guess. Dad’s gonna be so pissed I’m so dead.
*************************
The car ride over to pick up Johnny was rather silent both parents lost in their own thoughts, what was going on with their son maybe it was just hormones, but he had never been this stupid before. Normally Johnny was reliable and smart about his actions he was for the most part a very responsible kid they both knew that other kids in Johnny’s school had been in trouble with the law, could he have gotten mixed up with them?
Shirley sat softly crying and wondering if this had something to with the other night when she had caught Johnny dressed in her clothes and she had told him he could never do it again was this some way her fault god the guilt that she felt was unreal.
They saw the flashing lights of the cop car long before they got to them, Johnny was leaning against the side and the officer was standing next to him keeping an eye on the situation. As Kent pulled the car up behind the cop’s vehicle he looked over at his wife.
“Shirley I will go talk to the officer you slide over here and I’ll send Johnny, ok?”
Shirley only nodded her head in agreement. Kent sighed and opened the door and walked towards the two. Officer Black watched him come up and the two shook hands.
“Johnny if it’s ok with Lieutenant Black you can go get in the car with your mom?” Lieutenant Black nodded and Johnny walked very slowly to his mom’s car, as he was walking he heard the two men talking.
“Thanks for letting us come get him and not taking him to jail, he’s usually a great kid I don’t know what’s been going on the last little while but it’s been kind of bad”.
“You’re welcome Mr. Baxter I have a couple of kids too and I know how hard it can be some days.” “Try to have a good night and if you need to get some help for your boy.”
***********************
As they left Johnny tried to just melt into the seat of the car, hoping it would just swallow him up but it didn’t. He glanced at his mom and could tell she had been crying and he knew it was because of him that she was so sad.
Shirley glanced at her son and finally spoke, “Do you know that I was worried about you and I even called Julie and found out you hadn’t been there I had all kinds of crazy thoughts going through my head and then when the Officer called and told me his name I fell apart thinking some of the terrible things I had been thinking had come true, do you know how devastated I was?” “If your father hadn’t been there to find out what was really up I would have been a mess by the time somebody could have really told me what was going on.”
“You are grounded for at least two months and your chores will be done daily and you get one hour a week to talk to Julie and that’s because I like her.” “I will get your cell phone and no outside activities what so ever, do you understand me young man!!!”
“Yes Mom,” whispered Johnny.
“What the hell is going on with you? You have never acted this way before, are you into drugs or alcohol?” “Listen honey you can tell me, I have never seen you so distraught or unable to control yourself do you need to talk to a “shrink” are you depressed? What Johnny you have to tell me something because I will not put up with this shit anymore do you understand!”
“Yes Mom, look I’m so sorry about how I’ve been acting I don’t know what’s wrong with me I have been fine until recently and I don’t know why or what to do and I’m a bit scared.” “I mean I was driving 130 mph and didn’t even flinch I was lost in my own world and I never even watched what I was doing.”
“I need to ask you about something and I need you to try not to flip out on me, ok?”
“Finally ask away because I’m already flipped out!”
“I found some stuff on the internet about why I… Um dress in girls clothes and I found a psychologist that works in Blackrock and I was wondering if I could go see her?”
“What did you find out?”
“It’s called gender identity disorder; it’s where a person of one gender relates to that of the opposite gender.”
“What?”
“Mom I’m a girl in my mind but a boy on the outside and I don’t know how to fix me I’m hoping that Dr. Sullivan can”.
“Does this Dr. know anything about this… this disorder?”
“Yes?”
“Well, ok then when we get home you bring me her number and meet us in the study, because it’s going to be a long night and you have school tomorrow and your father has some stuff to say too as well”.
When they returned home Johnny ran upstairs to get the phone number, he heard the phone ring wow it was like midnight and who would be calling?
His mom answered “Baxter residence, oh hi Julie, yes he’s fine but in lots of trouble he can talk to you tomorrow ok, yes goodnight.
He met his parents in the study and by the look on his father’s face he guessed mom had told him everything. God why had he been so stupid and pulled this shit?
************************************
To be continued…..
© Michelle Kelley 2013 All Rights Reserved
Mary walked into her son’s, Brian’s room. She’d never been in it like this. Sure she’d come in to wake him up, make sure he was up or even to help with homework questions. But today she was here to pry into his private life, she was feeling a multitude of things, guilt by far was the strongest. Curiosity was next also the feeling of dread was quite high.
Michelle
Mary walked into her son’s, Brian’s room. She’d never been in it like this. Sure she’d come in to wake him up, make sure he was up or even to help with homework questions. But today she was here to pry into his private life, she was feeling a multitude of things, guilt by far was the strongest. Curiosity was next also the feeling of dread was quite high.
She was usually one to let her kids come to her but today seemed different, not really anything she could put her finger on but the echo of what her daughter was something she couldn’t ignore any longer.
Remembering the conversation well, it seemed like it had happened minutes ago not the two weeks ago that it had actually taken place. Her oldest child at 21 probably wasn’t a child or kid anymore but a beautiful young woman although she would always think of them that way because she still remembered the day they born and how small they had been.
Angela had come into the kitchen after dinner, and Brian had gone up to his room, like he always did. She sighed. Hi honey how are things going?
Hi mom, things are good, school is great and my classes are going well. Angela answered. Can I ask you something about Brian and have you not go all protective momma bear on me?
The question caught her off guard; she’d always wanted her kids to come to her with anything and always made sure that she told them that. But she also understood that when they complained about each other she would tend to let them figure it out together. And sometime she did go a little over board in protecting her youngest, him being five years younger than his sister, she sometimes felt that there was a little bit of Angela picking on him.
And with that in mind she also recognized that Angela sounded concerned and not trying to pick a fight. Plus if it was a fight she wouldn’t have the question the way she had, she’d have just went off in a statement.
Sure dear I promise not to go all momma bear on you until after! Mary joked.
Ok well don’t take this wrong, as she saw her mom bristle, um ok not how I wanted this to go. Look mom something major is going on with him I’m serious!
Ok why do you think that? Mary asked tight lipped, she’d promised after all.
Um…. I, I just saw some things and some things he’s said or reacted to questions I’ve asked have been met with either scorn or argumentative expressions.
Well what did you see? Mary sighed. Brian had definitely been different the last few months.
You know how he’s not been growing much right? He’s only as tall as me at 5ft10inches and I bet he weights the same as I do. But it’s not just that his clothes mom there so baggy you know.
It is the style now she replied, I don’t like them either but he seems to. She sighed.
Well ya, but that’s because he’s hiding things. Angela muttered.
Angela! Just say it! Said Mary.
Ok, um…. well I saw him when he came out of the shower in just a tank top and shorts and well he’s got boobs and hips and a waist like me mom! I was behind the corner enough that he didn’t see me since walked into his room so fast. Angela squeaked out.
And the day before I saw him come out of the shower I was watching a talk show that was talking about transgendered people on it, he asked me if I found it interesting or why was I watching it? I said that I found it interesting but that I felt the people in the show were mostly looking for attention, or that they might have a mental disease.
He got a look that was sad, but then it went to anger and he said, why watch it then? He got up and walked to his room and that was it. But I got the feeling it pissed him off and that’s why he left. He hasn’t talked to me really since.
Mary had tried to see what Angela had been seeing and she couldn’t because he was always dressed in his baggy clothes. His bedroom door suddenly began to be locked when he was in it and he seemed to have just further fallen into himself. Gone was the happy go lucky kid she remembered and now all she saw was a child dressed all in black and not even a hint of a smile.
Trying everything that she could think of to get Brian to open up to hadn’t worked if anything he retreated into himself more. She’d said if there was a problem medically she would take him to the dr. and they would figure it out. He’d said nothing was wrong and he felt fine and why couldn’t I just leave him alone.
So left with her only option she went snooping! Honestly she had no idea what she was looking for or what she would find, but she had to see if she could find something that would help in understanding her son.
She looked through his dresser and the closet she didn’t find anything no clothes like Angela had told her she would find. She started to think that she was just wasting her time. Sitting on the bed to think before she just rushed out of the room, the back of her leg hit what she thought was the frame but turned out to be a diary!
Part 2
I’m sitting there on the bed should I read the diary? Or should I not? At first I know I shouldn’t but then what if this will help me figure out what is going on? Don’t I owe it to my family to know what’s going on in my sons life I mean if it will help maybe I can even pretend that I didn’t read it and just push him for more answers until he does tell me.
I hear the back door open, Angela is home from college her classes only taking her until 2:45 today, plenty of time to get to the basketball game and cheer on Jessica.
Maybe I should wait until we get home and push for answers? That’s probably what I should do. My mind made up; I go to stand up, when Angela walks into the room, what you doing mom? She asks.
Oh nothing I found your brothers diary and had an internal debate on whether or not to read it. I opted for not so let’s go back down stairs and go to the game.
I go to slide the diary back under the mattress where I found it when a letter falls out addressed to mom and Angela. Angela leans down and grabs it before I can and she unfolds it and begins to read it.
Dear mom and Angela
11/10/2016
This letter is close to the one that Jessica got, granted she won’t have it until Monday and I hope that you don’t find this early because I know I couldn’t face you both with what I’m about to do. I know I sent you a text saying I’m riding with Julie to the game, but I’m not she doesn’t even know anything so don’t be mad at her, I never even asked her for a ride. I want you guys to know that I love you and I hope that you will go and enjoy the game. There are things that are going on with me that I have not been able to talk to you about and for that I’m sorry. I want you to know that I am really a girl not a boy! I have always felt this way and the idea of going through a boy puberty makes me sick. So I made sure that wouldn’t happen. I have been on hormones for two years now, and I know Angela saw stuff that day when I was in my towel and she said something to you because of your questions the last couple of weeks. I’m sorry we fight all the time both of you I never wanted to fight I love you guys so much that it hurts to fight but how could I tell you I am a freak. I know what people think of people like me it’s awful and I couldn’t put you through that. Angela probably wouldn’t have to deal with too much because her friends from school don’t know me, but mom how could you face the people in your life with them knowing you had a freak for a kid? The stuff people would say about you I can’t put you through that, I’m sorry. Not only am I a girl I want to date a girl so I can only imagine what people would say to that because a lesbian transgender kid is just dumb, if I like girls why don’t I just stay a boy? Well for me it’s not the same thing and I can’t live as a boy. Angela I have always looked up to you and wished I could be just like you, you are an amazing person and just so beautiful. You will never know how crushed I was when I found out I wouldn’t grow up to look like you and then I became the annoying brother that you didn’t want around. And I know that is how it goes with siblings even if I had been born a girl, it’s just the age difference, but it hurt when I couldn’t be with you anymore. More so because I couldn’t tell you or mom that I was a girl and I wanted to do all the things you guys got to do. And mom don’t think this is your fault because dad was killed in the trucking accident and I didn’t have a male role model because it wouldn’t have mattered. It’s just the way I am. I wish things were different and I was your little girl and that I was Angela’s little sister because she makes a great sister! My last wish is that you can bury me in a nice dress, even if you chose to have a closed casket service so no one knows that’s ok but I would really like it, but if you can’t I understand.
P.S. I’m sorry about your dress Angela, I know it was one of your favorites but it is mine to.
P.S.S. please don’t be mad at Jessica she didn’t know either because how could I tell her and not you because she has been the other most important person in my life.
Love always your daughter Britney
I watch as her face goes through several emotions the first is shock and maybe concern, the next is fear and then the tears come and the cry that escapes from her mouth is like nothing I’ve ever heard before. She runs to her room and I follow behind her as she checks her closet, “its gone” she sobs.
I grab the letter from her and start to read I don’t get all the way through it before Angela has thrown herself at me into a big hug and sobbing she asks if I think it’s already happened?
Then the phone rings, it’s like out of a movie we can’t even move and it’s like we’re frozen to the spot. The phone keeps ringing and ringing and Angela and I just stare out of doorway into the hall it seems like forever but I know it’s only a minute before the phone starts ringing again. I’m numb my baby may have already be hurt and I have no idea what to do my mind has gone completely blank. As the phone rings again we move and both take off for the phone.
I walked into the lunch room and stood in line for something that resembled the name of what the sign said. No way is that spaghetti, and honestly how do you screw up spaghetti? But our school seems to be able to!
Getting to the table that my one and only friend Jessica is sitting with her girlfriends Jenny and Amber, yup the three of them are together which is really cool. Only I wish I was Jess’s girlfriend but it will never happen.
I say hi to everyone and try to do more than push my lunch around.
Oh well it’s not like after today anything matters much. I wish I could tell someone but I know that it will be the end of me. Jessica is the best friend anyone could ask for and I guess I know that it will hurt her and she will probably miss me but I can’t take the pain anymore!
I picked today because she will be on her way to the away game for the girls’ basketball game and I’m enough of a coward that I can’t face her so I will wait until she leaves for the game. She’s the point guard for the lady cougars. Amber and Jenny are also on the team they play shooting guards and point guard if Jessica gets into foul trouble.
I sit there and slightly listen to the conversation, but my thoughts just are a sporadic mess. I always wanted to play for the girls’ basketball team but I can’t because some doctor decided I was a boy! Well I’m not I’m a girl and always have been, not my fault my outward body doesn’t match.
So I took matters into my own hands and ordered hormones and blockers off the internet, maybe not the smartest thing I’ve ever done cause who’s to say it’s safe without a doctors approval. But it’s because of a doctor I’m in this situation anyway. The idea of growing into a big hairy guy has made me sick since 5th grade health class when they talked about the puberty thing.
From that point on I was determined not to go through that so when things started going sideways I got the pills. I’ve been on them for two years now since I was fourteen. Using my allowance, birthday and holiday money that I was given to buy them I started mowing lawns and anything else I could think of to earn the money for my pills. I remember when my breasts started budding I was so excited I cried!
I’ve felt so alone through this, but I have been living through Jessica going shopping and listening to her talk about hair and make-up. I love to go shopping with her I help pick out clothes and I even get decent compliments half the time for my picks.
It just drives everything home when Jessica says she wishes I’d been a girl because as much as we play basketball together no team could beat us, and then we could shop till we drop afterwards to celebrate.
That hurts big time when she says stuff like that because I really want that too! But it’s still not enough to make me tell her. If I had to come to school without her then life wouldn’t be worth living any way.
I’m sure mom and Angela will miss me but it’s not like they would accept me for who I am. Mom’s great she’s been through enough what with having to raise us alone. At least dad had some money from his job’s life insurance and the trucking company had to a bunch after their truck killed him yes it was an accident but they were the ones that let the maintenance on the truck slip causing the brakes to fail.
And I’ve tried to give hints to them hell I’ve even left my sister’s clothes in different places hoping she’d say something but I think she’s so busy with school and stuff that she doesn’t notice. Then the day with that show was just the end of trying to talk to her about it. I knew she’d think I was nuts and sick in some way.
I try to talk to mom but every time I start to say something she looks at me like she’s got something more pressing than talking to me. I’m sure that I’m wrong and she loves me but I think she thinks me being a boy gives her no common ground or ideas of how to talk to me. So I just leave it alone because like I said she’s had it bad enough. She tried dating once that ended bad the guy was an ass and she just decided that the single life was for her.
I glance over at Jess, hey I need to go call my mom and make sure that she’s coming to get me for the game. I’ll catch you in class, I’ve decided I just can’t take it any longer and I’m doing this now!
It’s the last class of the day for Jess and the rest they have to get ready for the game and the drive over to central high to play the Devils.
Dumping my tray I head for the hallway to send mom a text that Julie will give me a ride to the game. I do have it all planned and ready to go, stopping at Jess’s locker I slide the envelope though the slits in the door. Ya she might find it before Monday but it won’t matter it will be too late.
I head for the gym, mom’s home so the only place this going to work is at school. I head for the girls locker room where I should have been the whole time. I walk in and make sure the coast is clear and go to the back and pull out the clothes I’m going to wear. A black and maroon dress that fits me like a glove, Angela will be pissed when she finds out I used this dress.
But it’s the grisliest thing she owns; I take the matching lingerie and put on the black thong panty, black lacy bra and black back seemed stockings with the garter belt. Hell might as go the whole way right? I grab the few things of makeup that I have and try my best to do it how Jessica does hers. Finishing that I slip into the dress put on the black 3 inch stiletto heels and run a brush through my hair.
I sit on the bench in the handicap shower stall and take my phone out and select my favorite Guns and Roses song Knockin on Heavens Door. Fitting song for the end I think. Grabbing the razor blade and use my left hand to slice deep and hit the artery of my right arm, hopefully I have enough strength to do the left arm and finish the job. The blood smells metallic but soon I know all my pain will fade. Holding the razor the best I can in my slick fingers I’m able to slice the other wrist it doesn’t feel as deep but maybe it’s enough to work.
It’s nice to feel physical pain over the mental shit I’ve been dealing with for my whole life.
Sitting back I listen to the song as my blood pumps away it’s a very surreal feeling to just watch the blood pouring out of my arms. There’s a blackness that seems circle my vision it shouldn’t be too much longer and everything will be right with the world at least for me. I understand I’m selfish and that suicide is not the answer but what other choice did I really have?
Mom will be sad until she realizes that she has a perfect daughter in Angela and does not need the headache of me! Being a freak that I am would just hurt her more and I don’t want her hurting anymore. I want Jessica to understand why I had to do this, and I really hope the letter portrays my feelings the way that I need it to.
The blackness is closing in I can’t focus my eyes, and even the music sounds like it’s far away. It should be over soon, soon I will feel no more pain and maybe if there is a god or an afterlife I will finally get to be the girl I was supposed to be or it will just be over and there won’t be anything after this. I don’t know which one I hope for.
Just as I and everything else fades to black I hear voices from far, far away good I get to hear the song for one last second before everything is gone and the blackness envelops me.
Part 3.2
I’ve been watching my best friend Brian, for weeks now and something is really wrong. I wish the duffas would tell me what’s up but he won’t. Brian’s been my best friend since kindergarten.
We live right next door to each other even our bedrooms are on the same floor and side of the houses. When we were kids we tried to set up a phone line with string and two soup cans but we must have used the wrong string because it didn’t work very well.
Anyway we do everything together; we go to the mall and shop. He has one hell of a fashion sense for being a boy. We play video games because we both like the mmo’s we haven’t had much time to do that because I made the girls basketball team. Maybe that’s it he just misses me? No can’t be he would tell me that, it’s got to be something bigger.
Hell if it wasn’t for Brian I wouldn’t be half as good as I am on the court, basketball is a love we both share. I don’t know why he has never tried out for the boy’s team he would make it and they totally have no one that could guard him. The shit is way fast especially with a basketball dribbling down the court.
There’s still lots of time before our tests and stuff so it can’t be school, and I know he’s smaller than most guys our age at 16 but he doesn’t get teased, at least that he says or I see. Maybe that’s it?
I really wish he would tell me, because I miss my BFF!
Earth to Jessica, Amber one of my girlfriends and teammate says.
Huh? I say as I blush for zoning out on them.
What is the matter with you? Asks Jenny my other girlfriend, yes the three of us are a matched set, we are together together. Not that anyone knows, well Brian may suspect but he’s never said anything.
Worried about Brian, something’s wrong and he’s not talking and it’s bothering me big time! I say morosely.
We’ll deal with it after the game tonight, we need to win this one so keep your head on track and then we’ll help you with Brian. Says Amber with a smile on her face.
Thanks girls, I say, that means a lot to me that you guys want to help me with Brian.
Hey speak of the devil here he comes, says Jenny.
I turn so I can see him, yup still the same moody boy with the baggy clothes packing his backpack over one shoulder even though we have lockers I chuckle to myself. He’s got long blond hair that he wears in a loosely tied pony tail that he places under his shirt so people can’t tell how long it really is. But I know because I’ve seen it after school when he takes it out, and when we play ball he always puts it up in a high pony tail like I do.
He has these killer blue eyes, he’s not real tall maybe 5’6” and probably 110lbs but with his baggy clothes it’s hard to say. I’ve tried to get him to wear clothes that fit better but he won’t. Even his shorts and shirt when we play ball are loose.
I usually tell him I wish he was a girl and it’s sad that his looks were wasted on being a boy. He just shrugs and says “life is what it is”.
Brian gets to our table and sits next to me and says hi to Amber, Jenny and Samantha, (don’t call me Sam I’m a girl not a boy)! And the girls say hi back and continue their discussion on makeup and how we are going to beat the Devils tonight.
Hey Brian, are you doing ok? I say after he sits down.
Hey Jess, how are you are you ready for the game tonight? Asks Brian.
I notice this glint to his eyes, it looks excited like usual when we talk ball but there is a touch of sadness there that has never been there before. Are you sure your ok? I ask again, you look sad today.
Ya I’m fine just have something I’m try to figure out and I’m not ready to talk about it yet. He replies.
Ok, well you know you can tell me anything right? I will always be there for you, you are my best friend and all that ok. I say.
Thanks Jess, I know that. He smiles for the first time in months.
Well I need to go call my mom and make sure she’s coming to get me for the game, see you in class Jess. Says Brain as he walks to dump his tray.
God I wish I knew what the hell was going on! I mumble to myself as the bell rings and I make my way to class.
It’s math and I hate it but it’s one of Brian’s favorites so he always helps the three of us with our homework so we actually have really good grades in the class. We’ve been in class maybe 15 minutes and Brian still isn’t in class.
Where the hell is he? I ask myself; shit as much as I’ve talked to myself today I think I might be going a touch insane. I’ve got to go find Brian this is definitely not like him to miss class.
I tell the teacher I’m off for the bathroom and head down the halls looking for Brian. I stop at my locker to grab my gym bag so I don’t have to stop after class and I can just go to the bus so we can go to Central High.
As I open the door a white envelope falls to the floor, that’s odd it has my name on the front I notice as I stoop to pick it up. It’s also written in a girls hand writing, one I don’t recognize big swirly letters and very neat and pretty.
My dearest Jessica
Let me introduce myself, my name is Britney
Britney? I don’t know a Britney at all, this is confusing maybe I’ll figure it out by the end.
We know each other very well but we have never met, I will always love you forever and ever and I’m sorry it worked out this way.
Jess my whole life I have felt different than anyone I knew,
Well if she’s gay that’s not an issue, I mean really I’ve got two girlfriends, I could help her out no problem.
Jess I know what your thinking and yes I’m a lesbian but I’m also transgendered. Yes Jess it’s me! your friend formally known as Brian.
I’m so so sorry but by the time you read this I’ll be gone Jess I know it’s a chicken shit thing to do or especially tell you in a letter but it’s all I got I could never bare to see the horror in your eyes let alone not be my best friend anymore.
I know this is a shitty suicide note but I’ve never left one before hahaha, sorry probably not a good time for a joke.
P.S. I told my mom and Angela you never had clue either just in case you thought they would be upset.
P.S.S. please tell Angela I’m sorry I ruined her favorite dress, and WIN THE GAME! sweetie
Love always Britney
I must have been in some sort of a daze while reading the letter because I never felt the arms around me or the tears pouring from my eyes. Its Jenny I can tell by her perfume and I glance at Amber and she’s reading the letter.
Amber takes off for the coach’s office, I kind of shriek at her to bring the letter back but she just keeps going.
Jen asks, I read it over your shoulder, do you think he’s already done it? Can we find him before it’s too late?
I don’t know, my sobbed answer almost a whisper.
Where would she go? I have no idea, it would have to be somewhere she could change for sure. She would have to be alone and it’s not
been that long since we went to class so it would have to be somewhere close. The answer slams into me hard.
The locker room! I shout as I stand up and take off. Jen running after me.
Jenn
I start to call Amber so she knows where we are, she answers and I start to say locker room, but all I get out is lock………….. when I hear the scream from Jess and I get around the corner. The scene is out of someone’s nightmare. Blood everywhere I see Jess holding Brian as I watch the blood pour from the open cuts on his arms.
Shit Amber call 9-1-1 get them to locker room asap he’s bleeding bad get here with the coach as fast as you can. Jess is no good she’s just sobbing and repeating why, why, why.
I run to the closet and grab some towels and ran back to Jess and Brian, I take one of the towels and shove one into Jess’s blood soaked hand.
Hold it on the cut as hard as you can the ambulance is on its way.
Amber and Coach Larsen show up, shortly after we got the towels on his arms. They come over coach is on the phone, with who I can’t tell.
When the EMT’s show up they kick us out of the way and begin to work on Brian. I grab Amber and together we engulf Jess in a huge hug.
Jess sobs I’ve got to call her mom, I don’t know if I can.
Coach Larsen comes over to us and says she will contact Brian’s mom. Jess screams over the noise in the room, her name is Britney not Brian the least we can do is honor that for one fucking day
Hi everyone sorry it's been awhile for this next chapter, I just want to apologize. I don't like the holidays much and I get down on myself a lot because when I came out to my family they dropped me like a hot plate. it's been four years since I've spoken to them and I unfortunately took this all out on Britney. I hope that you enjoy this chapter as much as I did writing it and just know that I love my creations and don't intentionally want to see them not in future stories or chapters.
Thanks,
Michelle
As always please leave comments and or thumbs :)
TTR 3.3
The next thing I know I’m standing in an open space surrounded by thunderstorm clouds. I can hear the thunder rumbling but it’s not laud just like background noise, there is lightning arcing across what I guess is the sky, it’s not raining.
All of a sudden there is a big burst of lightning and the thunder rumbles so loud I fall down on the ground. When I look up I see the prettiest woman I’ve ever seen standing in front of me. She’s my height and has the same long blond hair, red luscious lips but she has these giant ravens’ black wings and her eyes match the black of her wings she’s wearing a dark purple robe like the grim reapers. And she looks somewhat familiar maybe a twin to my sister if she had a twin.
“Well get up silly! There’s no reason to be on the ground I won’t hurt you”!
“Where am I”? “Am I dead or is this a dream”?
“Of course your dead that’s what you wanted right”? “This is purgatory, I run the joint. Thank you very much”!!!
“Who are you”? “The grim reaper or something”?
“NO, ha ha ha….. silly he can’t talk and he wears black robes plus he like to chop off heads” she said smiling.
She bends down and grabs my hands and pulls me to my feet. “I’m you, well the you, you could have been if you’d pulled on your big girl panties and just told mom, Angela and Jess who you really are”!
“I’m here to help you fix that if you make the choice to do it”!
“If your me or I’m you how come we look like you”? “Did we not go to heaven or is this hell”?
“I’m not allowed to tell you”!
“What”? “Why not”?
“It’s about me….or well you”.
“Always with the questions, and totally the wrong ones for the amount of time we have. Tell you what I will answer your questions only after you do something for me”.
Feeling nervous but extremely curious I know I have to hear her out. “Ok, what do you want”?
“I want to show you just how selfish you were and the saying that the loved ones of people who commit suicide will get over it is bullshit”!
A clear sort of TV looking screen appeared in front of us. I stood and watched as the scenes unfolded in front of my eyes. The TV started out playing through that day showing my suicide and everything that transpired after.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Angle me?
“The effects of what you did changed the outlook of so many people’s lives! First let’s start with the people that didn’t know you all that well, but were there for the show so to speak”.
“Since you weren’t awake to know that Coach Larsen tried to help you before the EMT’s got there. She had big dreams of becoming a college head coach, she would have made it to”. “If she had been able to win the state championship two years in a row like she would have”. “The team was nothing without those three to guide and lead the others, Coach Larsen couldn’t do it on her own and so the program turned to dust”.
“Coach Larsen was dating the love of her life until the world turned upside down, she and her partner got into a huge fight about her drinking on the job and that night her partner was killed in a car wreck on the way home and Coach Larsen just crumbled and found solace in the bottom of her bottle, until she drank herself to death”.
“What you did caused the team to fall apart, Jessica fell to pieces and couldn’t even think about playing”. “Jenn and Amber were so shook up they couldn’t play either”.
Jessica turned to drugs and alcohol, to numb the pain, and she never made it through high school”! “She started sleeping around and hanging with some really bad people she was latter raped and murdered at a party”.
“Jenn and Amber broke up with her because of the partying and the things she was doing”. “They both were in therapy because of the whole mess, they broke up because without Jessica there they couldn’t function as a couple”. “Their relationship was based on the three of them, without the glue holding them all together they fell apart”.
“Both Amber and Jenn grew up to become cold heartless mean awful people and died alone at the great age of 55”!
“Your mom, well her and your sister fought like cats and dogs. The cops were called several times and then finally your sister just left and your mom she just wasted away, she blamed herself and your sister for what happened. “So she sat in her room staring at the walls, she never recovered”. “She completely lost touch with your sister and died alone on her bed, the neighbors called the cops because of the smell. No one had even bothered to check on her”.
“Angela well she became and is a very cold person, she’s got steps on ice queens she’s so cold I honestly think she’s to mean to die”. “She could never get over the fact that her little sister ripped out her heart and crushed it”. “She blamed herself the most for not seeing the signs or doing something about the ones she did see, your mom for not trying hard enough to get you to open up about things and you for not telling at least her about what was going on.
“And you or I guess us…. We don’t get to become this me and you get to stay as you are sitting in purgatory and dodging the grim reaper for all eternity”! “See you, me, we or us or… oh hell, for this part we’ll use me so it makes sense, as I am now when I died and came to take my place as the gate keeper I got the body that we should have been born as”. “So keep that in mind when I tell you what choices you have”.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Britney
As I watched the scenes unfold I was overwhelmed, the pain and anguish that I had caused the people I loved more than anything had me realizing that I had been so wrong. Even without finding out what happened afterwards as catastrophic as that was I couldn’t believe the pain that they went through when they found me.
Here I thought things would be better for them all and instead I was a linchpin to the destruction of entire families, I’ve never met Jenn or Amber’s family but I knew without a doubt that what happened to their daughters would have been as devastating to them as what my own family went through.
I had tears running down my face I couldn’t believe what I’d done, and all I wanted to do was fix it! I couldn’t stand what I’d done to everyone, my selfish decision had done the complete opposite of what I wanted. It didn’t matter that Jess had found the note earlier than she was supposed to because that would have only delayed the inevitable.
My sweet sister had turned into someone who she right now would despise and never want to be like. My mom dying alone? So alone. No way was I going to allow this, if I could fix it or change anything to make their lives at least go in the direction they were supposed to then I. WAS. DOING. IT!
“Ok other me haha, what are my choices or what do I need to do”?
“There’s really only two choices right? Either you stay here right now and run from grim……….. or I send you back to that Friday and you tell them what is going on and let the world go on as it should have”. “You only have one shot at this so if you do this again well you can expect to see grim before you get a chance to run”.
“If I go back will you tell me that at least mom and Angela will accept me”?
“Nope.. I can’t and I won’t. In order for you to be the strong woman you grow up to be you need to learn trust in others and in yourself”!
“So I go back, tell them what’s up and when I die I come back here and become you”? “What the hell causes us to become whatever it is you are”?
“I suppose I should mention at least a little bit of that but I won’t explain any all of it! All right”?
“Ya ok I suppose that will do”.
“I am a fallen Angel, something that we do in life causes us to become this, and trust me you would do it again and again a million times over”. “I will not tell you what IT is”.
“Now you know, so what is your decision”?
“Yes I want to go back and fix this that was so awful of me”. “How much time do I have on Friday”?
“You will wake up as soon as you get back the rest is up to you, I do have to tell you that this will all seem like a very weird dream.
You will remember the important pieces but what happens in the future to everyone will be forgotten you can’t know something like that because you might try to use it to make decisions that otherwise may or might not happen and the results could be what you were trying to avoid”.
“Anyone ever tell you you’re kind of long winded”? I laughed
She smiled and snapped her fingers, the lightning flashed brilliantly and crackled the thunder rolled and pounded all around me. Then nothing but darkness.
This story is fictional, names and places are imaginary. As always comments are welcome and appreciated.
Part 1
Have you ever had one of those AH Hah! Moments? The one that just makes all the puzzle pieces in your every thought and dreams make sense? Well if not, keep looking for it because once you have it, as long as you never let go of it. All your dreams and wishes can come true!
I’m Victoria and I have a twin sister Veronica, ya what the hell were my parents thinking! Together with my mom Lisa, dad James we make up the Rodgers family. Were both 16 going on 30 according to my mom, but we just laugh when she says that cause um….. no way that’s like severely old!
We live out in the suburbs of New York. We’re not rich but my parents seem to do pretty good. Veronica and I go to a public school, home of the Heatherton Tigers. Ya I know totally original right?
There’s only one week of summer left and then school starts uhg, but at least my sister and I will be juniors and not at the bottom any more. Well she won’t Veronica definitely got the looks and the smarts. She’s very pretty with long blond hair that is so thick and luscious, deep brown eyes, pert D sized boobs, and curves to die for with legs for days.
While as I got stuck with the brains and the not so good looks, I’m mostly a geekette, I have the same hair, the same brown eyes but I got the smaller boobs at a C, I’m tall like Veronica but without the figure and I got sooo lucky and have to wear glasses. Because my parent’s insurance only covers glasses not contacts.
I love to read, play videogames online, WOW,ya know world of wizards it is so my favorite! I would love to play on the softball team but I’m not very good and the last 2 times I’ve tried out I got cut on the first day! Veronica plays basketball and is on the cheer squad during football season.
Ya she’s popular and I’m not. She doesn’t treat me any different though she’s my sister and never lets the other girls pick on me. I love my sister. Her friends tolerate me because I’m Veronica’s sister. I don’t really have many friends, just my sister but she is totally my BFF and we tell each other everything.
Well almost everything, there is something I haven’t told her I’m a lesbian. I can’t tell anybody I really think my family would be ok with it, well my immediate family anyway. But I haven’t found anyone special so I decided to worry about it if it ever happened and I so don’t have to worry about guys asking me out because I’m the leper. This is just fine with me because I don’t have to tell them no and no one is the wiser. Veronica on the other hand is totally boy crazy.
That does create a problem for our communication because I tend to zone out when she goes all gabby gabby about boys.
Which brings us to this Saturday night, we’re in our bedroom and ya I know it’s funny we still share a bedroom, we have separate beds (get your minds out of the gutter) but we just like being together, and I sleep better knowing she’s there (not that I would tell her that, so don’t you either) and this way we have a guest room if it’s needed.
She’s getting ready to go out with her friends and I’m sitting on her bed just chatting about nothing and how much fun next week will be when we go to the mall to shop for our school clothes.
We both love that day because it is the one day that we can buy whatever we want. We do have a limit of 500 dollars each and we’ve never come close to that amount, mom does have to approve everything or it’s a no go and as long as we don’t look like tramps or something then mom has never denied it.
As Veronica started talking about this guy on the football team she was hoping to see tonight and I kind of spaced out.
“Hey, hey Victoria what the hell is wrong with you”? Asked my sister.
“Huh? Um…. What? Sorry didn’t catch that” I answered. Ya that was intelligent, no way will she believe you were interested in her choice of subject.
“You always do that, you know, and if you want to keep the fact you’re a lesbian a secrete you better at least listen to what the other girls have to say”. My sister says with a smile.
“What”!!!! I shriek. “Um….I’m, I’m not a lesbian” I stutter.
“Oh come Victoria, yes you are! I know you haven’t told me but I know you are I see it every time Crystal or Amanda are around. I know you! Your my twin and we just don’t have twin speak ya know I can tell what you’re thinking to”.
“Besides I really think I’m Bi so what are you worried about? I will tell you though that my friends are off limits”! The smile still on her face.
“Wow Veronica damn, um… shit, so I guess your not as boy crazy as I thought. I thought I was doing so well hiding it? Does anyone else know”?
“Nope,I do like boys just not as much as I pretend to. And no one else knows I just know what to look for, and I have to agree with you on Chrystal! She is totally hot”!
“Holy shit! Does mom and dad know”? I ask in a whisper.
“Nah, mom knows about me but I’d never tell her about you unless you wanted me to or help you tell her”.
“And moms ok with it”?
“Well I don’t know that she likes it but she told me that she loves me and nothing would ever change that”! “I imagine she’s told dad anyway, they don’t keep secretes, but he just tells me he loves me to. So I’m sure he cares a little bit mostly for my safety but no big fuss”.
“Wow, ok sis um do you think when I’m ready to tell them you will help me? I mean not that there is a reason yet but if there ever is. You’ll help me”?
“Of course sweetie what are sisters and BFFs for”?
“Thanks sis”! I exclaim. “Goddess what a load off my mind, I’m so glad we can talk about this. I was so worried you would think I was a bigger freak than I am”!
“Oh honey you’re not a freak at all! Maybe a little geeky but a freak no”! And if anyone calls you a freak, well they just won’t know what hit them”! “Sisters forever” she squealed as she gives me hug.
I just love my sister; she is the best in the whole world. How did I ever think she wouldn’t love me? I return her hug squeezing the air from her lungs.
“Can’t breathe” says Veronica. “To bad you can’t be on the wrestling team, you would probably be state champ with that squeeze” she laughs.
"Oh go on and go to your party! Because if you stay I’m going to pick your brain on the other cute girls"! I chuckle as Veronica bounces off the bed and rushes out the saying over her shoulder.
“When I get home we will totally do that”!
Unfortunately I was passed out by the time Veronica got home and she slept most of the morning so we didn’t get a chance to go over our list of hotties! But we will there is no way I don’t want to do that list with my sister.
It’s been a jumble at our house all week trying to get things ready for school, Veronica had cheer tryouts and mom and dad had a last minute business meeting so it was just Veronica and I all week. Mom was going to back on Friday night that way she could still take us shopping on Saturday.
It’s Saturday morning and Veronica and I are bouncing off the walls with excitement. Veronica’s friends will meet us at the mall and Crystal’s mom Linda will be with all of us to help mom make sure we don’t dress like sluts. As if… although if I had someone to dress slutty I just might try to sneak something past mom!
We drive to the mall, meet the other girls and shop till we drop, we tried on lots of chic clothes and wow did we get a lot of stuff and the back to school sales were awesome.
My style is similar to Veronica’s but she totally rocks everything better than me besides I wear big hoodies to conceal the fact that my curves suck.
We get skinny jeans, low rise jeans, skirts, dresses, socks, panties too I just had to have thongs, and they are so comfy they do take a little to get used to but after like a day they are just the best.
We got thigh high stockings, I just fell in love with the garter belts but mom said “no way in hell” and some tights, we got some very nice blouses and I got a few t shirts and some camisoles. Mom even let me get this really sexy black mini dress.
Granted I had to argue that it was longer than Veronica’s cheer skirt and that I wouldn’t wear it to school maybe on a date if I got one.
Veronica smirked at that one and whispered “way to go sis”!
The jewelry stores and shoe stores would be next, but first it was lunch time. There’s not a lot to choose from, and definitely nothing healthy but that’s some of the fun because one day won’t kill us! So I order a cheese burger because I love gooey cheese yummy.
I was sitting by mom and Veronica, Crystal, Amanda, Jennifer and Linda finished off the table. They were all chatting back and forth about boys, and once again I totally zoned out, suddenly my shin felt like it was on fire. I looked over at Veronica she had this look like pay attention, I just rolled my eyes and tried to clue into the conversation. But to no avail I couldn’t make myself remotely care so I just started looking around and started to people watch it’s sometimes fun.
I glanced at the store across from us we were at the table right at the edge of the food court. The store was kind of a gothic looking store, I’d never been inside before and the clothes in the display window looked kind of cute maybe I can talk mom into letting me go there for a minute.
“Mom, while you guys finish eating can I go to Vikkies? It’s that store right there”.
“Um sure honey, remember if you want something I have to approve of it”. She answered and gave me an odd look.
“What the store looks interesting” I said as I walked away from the table.I heard Jennifer say, “Geez Veronica I think your sister just gets weirder and weirder every time I see her”.
“Oh hush you, there’s nothing wrong with my sister” replied my sister.
Goddess I love that girl!
I was just about to the door maybe five feet away from the entrance and just in front of the store window when she walked out!
She stopped in front of the window to put the earrings she’d just purchased in. so I was looking at her back and her front in the reflection.
My whole body stopped like I’d hit an invisible wall, I couldn’t catch my breath and I couldn’t blink I just stared at the beauty in front of me.
She was tall she had on these black thigh high boots with a three inch heel so I couldn’t really guess her height. Long silky black hair, and goddess the curves on her, I could see the deep blue of her eyes especially as the dark purple eye shadow just made them pop. She had on black leather pants and the bustier type shirt in purple had her boobs doing all sorts of things to me.
Damn she’s a Goddess; I finally released the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. I’m so totally a boob girl, although her butt was sexy as hell. Yup so totally a lesbian it’s scary.
The girl looked at me in the window smiled and did a little finger wave turned on her heel and smiled again as she walked by. I just followed her with my eyes as she sashayed away from me.
I watched her until she was out of sight and then felt someone’s arms wrap me in a gigantic hug. “Find something interesting little sis”?
Veronica was born like 5-10 minutes before me so I guess that was enough for me to be the youngest sister. It was kind of a running joke between us, although this time it felt so good to be the youngest sister and for her to hold me.
How do I answer? Did anyone else see how I reacted to the girl in the window? “Oh goddess did anyone else see”? I asked.
“I’m pretty sure mom did and I know Crystal did because she’s the one that nudged me, and I made a beeline for you”.
“Oh shit that’s not good” I muttered.
“It’s ok, honest sis Crystal and I talked one night after cheer practice and she’s a lesbian and has had a crush on me since freshman year and asked me out! We have a date next Saturday night, its hush hush right now we’re both kind of nervous, but I’ve dated a couple guys and we’ve been friends for so long I doubt anyone would think anything”.
“That’s so great sis! That’s just so awesome”! “Did you tell mom”? I exclaimed excitedly.
“Yes and she just said to be careful. I’m so excited but a tad scared to, you know”.
“I’m so excited for you sis! Can I help you get ready for that date”? I asked her as we walked back to our group.
“Of course you can silly”! She said laughingly.
We continued our shopping spree and it was fun but I couldn’t get the dreamy girl out of my mind. I never saw her again that day and I so looked for her hoping to catch just one more glance at her.
Mom was looking at me all the way out to the car, she didn’t say anything just the look. We put our bags in the trunk of our car. And as we went to get in mom says “She was very pretty honey, do you have something to tell me”?
I just sat there thinking out my answer, our parents always told us that all answers should be thought out, when the answer was important. And well this was a major important answer. At least I knew she wouldn’t love me any less.
“Um yes mom I do I’m a lesbian and truly have no interest in even dating a guy. And up until today I haven’t met or seen anyone that I felt like trying to get to know. So I haven’t worried about telling you because other than a couple of Veronica’s friends, which she says are off limits to me by the way. Especially since Crystal is now taken” I smile at Veronica.
“Alright honey, I just want you to know that we love you regardless and we just want you to be careful, because falling for the wrong girl could be really bad. And I’m talking about falling for a straight girl ok”?
“Thanks mom! I’m so glad that you’re ok with everything. Is dad going to be ok”?
“You let me handle your father girls he will still love you it just may take a minute to get his head wrapped around the idea” replied mom.
Making it home Veronica and I put on a fashion show for mom as we put them away. We both went downstairs to start dinner, we both love to cook so mom lets us go at it and she helps with any questions or problems. It’s an early night because we are both dragging it’s been a really long day.
I fell asleep thinking of my angel in the window.
She was early as was her custom, arrive early, check out anything that may seem amiss and assess the situation. She had reason to be worried, her quote unquote friends she had never met before, all she had were two first names and a phone number.
Michelle
Hey everyone! It’s been awhile I’m sorry my muse ran away. But she’s back with a vengeance and a new story just won’t leave until I get it written. I might finis “The Night” series but it has been placed on the back burner.
So anyway here is the first part of my new story When Worlds Collide, enjoy and please leave comments and thumbs up if you like it, please also remember that this is a work of fiction!
When Worlds Collide
Part 1
She walked into the diner, it wasn’t much. One of those that had a kitchen the back with a front counter that worked as a bar, as well as the location of the register. Some of the morning crowd sat on the bar stools having breakfast. The rest of the room was filled with 10 booths and 12 tables. The diner had 20 people in total, the patrons numbering 14 plus 6 workers.
Very few of the patrons even bothered to look up at the new arrival, it was 9am on a Saturday and she was hardly noteworthy in her style of dress. A baggy oversized gray hoodie with no design and jeans, with nondescript tennis shoes.
She took her customary booth in the back so she could watch the entrance and no one could get behind her considering her booth sat against the wall. She pulled the hood back revealing her midnight black hair. She left her mirrored steel framed sunglasses on until she could close the blinds.
Placing her glasses on the table, she waited. Ordered coffee when the waitress arrived and told her she had friends coming so she would wait until they arrived to order.
She was early as was her custom, arrive early check out anything that may seem amiss and assess the situation. She had reason to be worried her quote unquote friends she had never met before all she had were two first names and a phone number.
Not much to go on but that’s all she had. That’s all she could remember of her past extremely frustrating which is why she had waited 18 months to even bother calling the number.
The conversation had pretty much gone how she expected, I mean how would, anyone react by getting a call from someone they didn’t know; with no answers as how they had your name and a phone number. And of course let’s not forget the fact she only had a first, middle and last name for herself. So yes the conversation had been anything but interesting.
She dialed the number that had been burning in her mind for 18 months, ever since she woke up in her “coffin” she chuckled at the thought.
The other end picked up, she wasn’t sure what to say, but the voice started the conversation without even a hello.
Who is this? Asked the voice
This is Megan, was the answer
Megan who?
Look is this Ronnie? I don’t have time to play games I have your number and I need to know some things that only you or someone named Tracy might have the answers to!
The mention of Tracy got Ronnie’s attention, yes this is Ronnie, again who is this and how did you get this number?
My name is Megan Sessions and I will meet you in one day, at Joanne’s Diner at 10 am I’ll be in the back in a grey hoodie. She hung up.
So here she sat and waited. Hopefully she found some answers.
========================
Who was that? Her girlfriend Tracy asked.
I’m not sure answered Ronnie, that phone is a burner that I have for emergencies, and only 3 people had that number. Robin had it
so she could call if her dad found her and her mom. Mitch and Sloan Synclair had it but they are both dead so…. I have no idea how this Megan Sessions person got it.
Tracy sat bolt upright and looked at Ronnie, the color drained from her face. Megan Sessions? She asked in a whisper.
It had taken an hour before she’d gotten Tracy calmed down enough to tell her the story.
We were just kids back then hell we were maybe 10. Tracy had recalled. Mitch and I at time were just the best of friends, my dad hadn’t adopted him yet. That didn’t happen until 2 years later that he became my brother. We were in my room just talking and listening to music. We’d been friends for 5 years, his parents had moved into the neighborhood just before kindergarten started.
Anyway he just looked at me and was all serious, I stopped and looked at him. He opened his mouth to say something several times but nothing came out. I told him he could tell me anything were best friends things would never change. I never thought they would but what he said changed both our worlds forever.
He stared at the floor and said “my name really isn’t Mitch, its Megan”. I’m not a boy on the inside I’m a girl. I was speechless for a second and he I guess she got up to leave. I jumped up and grabbed her in big hug. I don’t care I said you are still my best friend and now maybe we could be sisters?
Waite a minute; your telling that, Mitch, army ranger, Special Forces, leader of the Demon Dogs. The man that was so far into black ops that the sun could never find him….. was Trans? Ronnie asked almost shouting.
Yup Ronnie I am saying that. She was so sweet and caring, not that later that changed but there was a sadness, and a toughness that never left after he was adopted.
He was adopted? He never talked like he wasn’t just born into your family. Maybe I didn’t know him that well after all.
Ronnie you knew him better than anyone other than me after he changed, maybe even better than me. Now listen and I’ll finish my story and tell you why the name is so important!
We became inseparable after that even more than before, he lived just across the street so every day after, and on weekends Megan would come out to play. I taught her everything about being a girl, well at least as much as I knew back then.
We played dress up, make up and everything. Worked on mannerisms and how to sit in a dress, fashion ect. She really did become my sister.
One day maybe one year later my dad heard us playing and happened to be walking by going to his room for something. And the door was slightly ajar and well needless to say we were busted.
Dad was amazing him being a therapist really helped Megan that day he talked to both of us. After he got Megan calmed down of course she figured she was dead and that we would never be allowed to be friends anymore.
Megan begged and pleaded for him not to say anything to his parents because he feared what they might do. They’d caught her a few times in her mother’s things and beat him pretty good. So he agreed and we held off saying anything but my dad wanted to talk to Megan at least two times a week until they did talk to her parents.
He wanted to make sure that this was the real thing and not a phase or anything but he also wanted Megan to feel safe and explore who she was.
One year later when were all talking the concept of puberty came up and Megan freaked, no way was she going to be a boy! She wanted to know if he could help. He said he could but they would have to talk to her parents because it was all legal stuff and had to have the parents onboard.
Dad said that he would go with her to talk to them and that she would be ok. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to her.
Megan knew different but she trusted my dad so I stayed home and they went over to her house. Megan was still dressed and my dad really thought that Megan’s parents were good people they hadn’t shown anything that would contradict that.
Dad knew that Mitch was transgendered and that this was the only way so they went over. Dad talked to them and they seemed shocked and very interested in helping their child to become who she was supposed to be.
They did everything right to get my dad to believe that they understood, they told him that they needed to talk to Megan alone and since my dad felt things were good he gave Megan a hug, shook their hands and told them if they had any questions to call him day or night and that he would help Megan get the help she needed.
He came home and got a phone call and needed to get to the hospital, seems one of his patience tried to commit suicide. He blamed himself clear up until he died for what happened next.
He left and it was almost like they were waiting for him to leave, he found out later it was Mitch’s mom that had a connection inside the hospital make the call to get him out of the house.
The second he left the violence began, screaming, shouting the sound of things hitting the walls, found out later it wasn’t things it was Megan. They did horrible things to her. She got away ran to her room that was on the top floor of their 2 story home. She looked out the window and saw me looking out at her she waved once and then the door to her room shattered.
Her dad came in smacked her in the face and threw her out the window, she didn’t even scream as she fell and hit the ground. He turned around and he and his wife jumped into their car and just left.
I ran for Megan, she was a mess. Blood everywhere so much blood. I ran inside to find the house phone still working called 9-1-1 and just tried to hold her until the cops and the paramedics arrived.
Mitch’s parents were loaded, so freaking filthy rich it was sad. The ensuing police chase that ended when his parents went off that old canyon road taking a corner killed them so he was left everything.
Ronnie noticed the change in gender and pronouns but didn’t comment.
Well anyway after Mitch got out of the hospital and my dad adopted him, I still think it was because he felt guilty about everything is the only reason he did end up adopting him. Mitch never said anything and adjusted to life as some sort of normal but Megan never came back she was just gone! I tried a few times but Mitch just looked at me like I was nuts, so I never mentioned Megan again.
After the adoption he took our last name, and he pretty much became the person that you knew. He always took care of me and everyone knew not to fuck with his sister. God I remember in high school I could never get a date no one wanted to be on his bad side. Hell even when I told him I was gay, all he said was
“Sis, I’ll always be there for you and protect you”.
I had an issue, once our freshman year with few guys that thought they’d straighten me out.
They had me against the wall after school one day and well, I shut my eyes expecting the worst, and cringing waiting for the punch that never came. And kind of zoned out, guess my brain sort of shut down Suddenly I heard his voice telling me I was ok and then he grabbed me into a huge hug and got me outside. I looked back and all 4 of those boys were on the ground, some rolling in agony, others not even moving.
He got suspended for that for a week but after that day no one even breathed on me funny. I guess those martial arts classes that he took 6 days a week payed off, god he was scary when he was in a fight. Those same boys had their 5 older brothers that were seniors and on the football team, damn they were huge, try to get him for payback. But it didn’t go as planned they were toast before they even got passed the idea of getting him.
She laughed, the football team had to cancel the season because they didn’t have enough to make up a team because those 5 boys played both offensive and defensive line, and they were in the hospital and then there was suspensions handed out on top of that.
And now you know the story most of it anyway. Oh the name right. Keep it together Tracy. She mumbled to herself.
I’d asked her what her full name was and I expected it to be Megan Sanderson like her last name was back then. She said she picked Megan and that I could pick her last name and we would both decide on a middle name.
Well I was so ecstatic that she wanted me to help name her I felt truly honored. So I picked Sessions for my favorite author at the time and we both picked Rose. So her name was Megan Rose Sessions!
Tracy was in tears at the conclusion of her story, all I could do was hold her. I was shocked I had no idea what to even say. I kissed her hair and just held on as she cried herself out.
Left alone with my thoughts why I held Tracy crying in my arms I thought back to everything I knew about the man I had considered a brother. The fact he was trans didn’t matter he was still the best brother I’d ever had and besides he was dead now. Killed in action, with the rest of the Demon Dogs so the military said. Exactly happened they weren’t saying, but that’s normal for classified information.
I never knew someone like Mitch, I said to Tracy when she’d calmed down enough to hear me. A heart of gold to his friends but colder than death to his enemies, that time we saved the congressman’s daughter Robin was her name in that sex slave scandal was extremely eye opening. He went in there and just destroyed them. He killed with an efficiency and ruthlessness that couldn’t be described. He was the ultimate leader and did his job and expected the same from those in his squad. The Demon Dogs was a 5 member super unit that merciless in their missions.
I only got to be around because of my computer and intelligence knowledge, I was never personally on the missions, not that I couldn’t handle myself in a fire fight or hand to hand but those guys went from one black op to the next never saying anything about how they needed a day off. Hell I kinda thought they were slightly nuts. But Mitch liked me not sure why maybe I reminded him of you and wanted to make sure I was prepared.
He trained me well, but I never could beat him, son of a bitch was crazy with a knife preferring them to fire arms in close quarters. Dangerous with side arms and rifles, but knives Jesus he moved like the wind, he would attack in, out, and around you so fast, it was just crazy. But I saw how he protected his squad and the ones around him. Never giving an order that he wouldn’t do himself.
What are we gonging to do? And when do we get to meet this person? Asked Tracy with a slight bounce in her voice.
I don't know yet, at least we have a day to try to figure it out. This is not good, not good at all sighed Ronnie.
When Worlds Collide
Part 2
Veronica (Ronnie)
I’ve been up since about four in the morning. All the things that Tracy and I talked about last night have been running through head since I tried to sleep. I just can’t wrap my head around the things she told me. Mitch being transgender isn’t even an issue but it is shocking as hell.
But I’ve been looking for this Megan Sessions for about 2 hours now and nothing, I’ve found people with that name and none of them can match. It’s just like she appeared out of thin air and that has me worried.
Tracy said Mitch was loaded and I know she got a lot of money when her dad was killed, so maybe it’s some sort of con I mean it wouldn’t be the first time something like this happened right? That’s got to be it, I’ll have to check with a couple of contacts from the NSA, maybe they can find something. I need to find out how much Tracy really has.
Its 7 am before Tracy makes her way into the living room, I’m on like my fifth cup of coffee, I get up and make her a cup and come back giving her a wraparound hug as I hand her coffee.
Hey babe, how are you feeling? I ask.
I’m ok, kinda still in a mental funk and I really don’t know what to think. Tracy sighs.
Me either. I reply, now don’t freak out on me, I know we don’t talk a lot about this and if this hadn’t come up I never would have asked. But how much money do you really have?
Tracy doesn’t say anything for a minute, thinking of the right way to respond, it’s true they’ve never discussed money it really never came up they had enough so it was never an issue.
Um I’m sorry Ronnie I guess I just don’t think about it because it’s all related to bad things and times, ya know?
I know sweetie I’m sorry I asked but it could be that’s why this is happening. I say as softly as I can.
Your right Ronnie it is a true possibility, I guess someone could have talked after Mitch was thrown out that window and now that he is dead someone could definitely be looking for a big score.
Ok so you know after you guys saved Robin, you know Mitch set it up so that she and her mom could change their names and disappear right? Asked Tracy.
Ya I know I set it up and you did the email correspondence and made sure they got the money, clear up until her dad ran off and left the country after the fall out of his dirty cop friend that decided to send all that information to the press and Congressman Jones killed him.
Right well that all came from the money that Mitch got when his parents died. When I got the email that Robin and her mom were good and no longer needed the money because she was done with college and had got her dream job. And she could take care of her mom. Still not sure what names they are using now, but that’s probably for the best. Well that was 6 months before Mitch was killed. Anyway, Mitch never used that money ever, he hated it. Thought it was blood money or something. So he left it in the account and that’s the only time I ever seen it used.
Well when I checked the last payment to Robin there was a little over 300 million dollars in it, I haven’t looked since, and I know it’s mine now but it just feels weird to use it. And I got about 250 thousand after my dad was killed and that and what I make is what I’ve been living off of and I still have 165 thousand left from dads death so we are set. Tracy said dispassionately.
Shit! Well I guess that sure could be a real reason to be snooping around now. I’m not sure if we should even bother going to this meeting it could be a really bad idea.
But I, she started to say as I interrupted her, ya I know you want to see, so I’ll call a contact in the NSA and see what she can find out because I’ve had no luck the chick just doesn’t exist. Every person with that name is too young to old or dead and as far as I can tell none of the id’s have been stolen.
It’s the morning that we are supposed to go meet “Megan” my friend had gotten back to me and well she couldn’t find anything either, nothing she just didn’t exist. She did mention a name from a police report in a small town, Alta Utah, seems a group of guys five the report said had tried to rape a girl and well they won’t be walking much, their knees had been smashed, lots of broken bones and the guys all claimed it was a she demon. All the victim could add was that she thought she heard the name Megan while hanging out in the club. But that was it. If it was our girl I had a big doubt of that but it might be a way to trip her up.
I don’t think this is such a good idea Tracy! Ronnie spoke urgently. I really think you should let me go in first it could really go sideways in a hurry. She stated for the hundredth time on the way to the diner.
Look love I know you are worried but its Joanne’s Diner, its popular and always packed. What’s going to happen a wild shoot out? Laughed Tracy. Besides she’s a girl how scary can she be?
Hey I’m a girl and I’m pretty damn scary! Ronnie replied with a little heat to her voice. I was in the Army and worked for the NSA you remember, right?
Yes babe I know, but not every girl gets to be 007 Tracy grabbed and squeezed her girlfriend’s hand.
I will say that I’m glad you gave that up after Mitch though, I really would have never gotten through the last year and a half. Said Tracy with more than a touch of sadness to her words.
Sighing Ronnie shook her head I’m sorry to sweetie it’s been rough on both of us. Mitch was the only true friend I ever had and he was definitely more family I ever had until you. She smiled as she remembered the first time she’d seen Tracy. I couldn’t breathe she reflected stole my breath she laughed out loud.
Tracy chuckled same here beautiful, I thought I’d had a heart attack and was seeing an angel.
Ok were here, remember let me check it out before you follow me in. Stated Ronnie
Ya ya I know I’ll wait for the signal sighed Tracy. It’s not like Mitch didn’t train me in anything or nothing ya know she grumbled.
I know, but please just for me ok? Ronnie asked.
Yes, but don’t take all day smiled Tracy as Ronnie rolled her eyes in response.
Part 3
Tracy
If Ronnie thinks I’m staying here in the car, she’s crazy! I wait until she’s gone inside and then I jump out and run to the diner and go in right behind her.
What are you doing? Asks Ronnie as I come up next to her. Well shit Ronnie for you being the smart NSA agent that you claim to be, I thought leaving me alone in the car if this was a trap was a bad idea ya know. They could have kidnaped me and you wouldn’t have known. I said with the sarcasm dripping off my words.
You realize the car is bullet proof she answers back I did learn a few tricks bitch she adds with a smirk.
Oh well I’m here now so have you found her yet?
Yes she’s in the back booth, guess we should head over there and see just what the hell is going on. Ronnie answered with a frown. I still don’t like this!
Yes it’s been noted the report captain. I laughingly reply.
We make our way over to the girl in the booth, the air gets sucked out of me. She looks just like Megan did the last time I saw her, well before she went home anyway. The long blue/black hair, steel blue eyes. I wonder if they get stormy when she gets mad? Don’t, don’t do that, I admonish myself she might totally be someone else, plus she looks maybe 25 and not the 33 that Mitch would be.
She stands when we come up to the booth and sticks out her hand, she’s very pretty the hair the eyes and if I had to guess quite the figure also. She was also extremely pale/white skinned, almost like a vampire, I wonder if she sparkles I kind of chuckle to myself. She’s about 5’10” a bit taller than Ronnie and I.
I take her hand and say hi I’m Tracy and this is Ronnie, the names seem to have no form effect on her. She has no idea who we are. The waitress comes over and takes our order we both get coffee and Megan says that the coffee that she has is fine. She returns a minute later and leaves us to our conversation.
I only go by Ronnie to two people and one is dead and the other one is right next to me so you can call me Veronica. Veronica spits.
Jesus Ronnie, who pissed in your cheerio’s this morning? I asked somewhat appalled at her attitude.
No one I don’t eat cheerio’s she replied just as pissy.
Megan let a smirk hit her lips as she said, good to know Veronica, I like you she chuckled.
I’m sure you’re just being cautious as you very well should be. You don’t know me and I don’t know you guys. So it’s ok but how about we try to be nice? Suggested Megan.
Ronnie pouted but shook her head yes. And then said, Ok so my first question is how did you know that phone number, and 2nd how did you know our names?
Well that’s a bit of a story and most of it is not important, at least the last year or so anyway. So I’ll give you the short version and hopefully it will ease your concerns and maybe I’ll get a few answers from you when I’m done. Replied Megan.
So about a year and half ago I woke up in my steel coffin, well it wasn’t really a coffin but it sure felt like one and for a minute I thought maybe vampires were real.
I see Tracy had that thought! She said as she caught my smirk and blush.
Anyway when I came to and got out of the casket I realized I was in some sort of military bunker that looked like it had been hit by an earth quake, there were four other boxes like mine only they were crushed and blood all around them so whoever was inside were definitely dead. As it was once I got out the ceiling above my coffin fell down smashing and burying it under a ton of concrete and steel. I explored the bunker found some clothes and some gear and tried to remember what the hell happened. It’s weird because I can do anything that someone of my age is supposed to be able to do, but if it pertains to me personally like my past or anything it’s gone, not a flicker of a memory. The only thing I did know was the first names of you two, Ronnie and Tracy along with that phone number I called you on. That’s it other than another name that I just assumed was mine because of I knew all of it first, middle and the last. The bunker was in Alaska I made my way here only because I couldn’t get your names and numbers out of my head, every time I would think I had pushed it out the thoughts came back with a vengeance. What if they know who I am, what if they are family and they think I’m dead or lost, so when I got here I called you. And that’s pretty much it.
I was hoping that when I saw you that something would click, or that you would know me and I could figure out who I was, but judging from your reactions that isn’t the case.
As I listened to her story I felt bad because of what would that feel like waking up all alone in a building like that everyone gone and no idea who you were? That would just be awful. I did have that picture on my phone from when we were kids maybe I should show her it and ask. Could it possibly be Mitch somehow he had a sex change and got amnesia or something, not that would explain the military bunker in Alaska but I could ask her right?
Fuck it, I’m asking. Um Megan don’t take this the wrong way or anything, I start, she looks at me like well I guess that’s probably how I’ll take it but go ahead. Ronnie is not happy I’m even here let alone talking. I load the picture on my phone and show it to her. My brother was military but he was also transgendered. Um is there any chance that you could be him and somehow got amnesia?
Um..? god I’m a doctor of psychology and that’s the way I’m going to talk to her I think to myself damn what a dumb ass.
Jesus Tracy, squawks Ronnie. You know full well this isn’t Mitch. She’s too young and Mitch was killed on a black op in Afghanistan, she wants something and we both know it!
Megan looks at both of us, stands up and picks her sun glasses up off the table pulls out a few bucks for her coffee and looks at me.
I’m sorry Tracy no way I was ever your brother, I’m a fully functioning female. I’m sorry I wish I was at least then I would be able to somehow pick up the pieces of my life. She turned to Ronnie sorry I thought we going to be nice, I don’t know you at all the only thing I wanted was to know if you knew me. So I guess you were right I did want something. Do not worry I will never bother you guys again. Thank you for meeting me, and if you recall I never asked your last names so you can go back to your own lives and I’ll just go on with mine. She turned on her hill and went to walk away, when Ronnie said what happened in Alta?
Megan spun around and her eyes were storm cloud grey if they got anymore stormy looking lightning would be flashing in them. Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about! Then she walked for the door and the cash register to pay her check.
Holy fuck Ronnie! What the fuck was that? Are you that worried or are you jealous of her? Fuck ya she’s pretty but I’m with you always will be. What if it truly was Mitch? That would make her my sister asshole. Jesus can you think how awful it would be to spend the last year and a half of your life not knowing anything about who you are? You honestly think that women even remotely wanted the money jesus you’re a bitch today from hell. If you don’t go apologize to her you can walk home.
Look at this fucking picture, I hand the phone to Ronnie and the shock in her face is evident the mask slipped clear off. The picture and the woman that just walked out looked exactly the same except for the ages of the two girls. That was Mitch as Megan the day she got thrown from her window. Now go apologize or walk I’m serious!
Wow what the fuck is the matter with me? I’ve never acted like that and Megan never even did anything to deserve my attitude. Tracy stayed at the table and I followed out after Megan. The place was busy enough that as I got out the door she just made it around the corner of the building.
I wasn’t think or paying attention, I was lost in my own thoughts, and I never stopped to think what I was really doing. I was following a single female usually not a good idea especially one with the possibility of military training. I would know if someone followed me it would definitely call for an ass whooping. So what happened next should not have come as the surprise that it did.
I dropped off the old style boardwalk and went to go around the back the same as Megan when I was suddenly grabbed, and flung against the back of the building the air evacuating my lungs in a whoosh…. The arm snaked around holding me very tight no place to move. If that wasn’t enough I could feel the razor edge of the knife to my throat the pressure wasn’t much but it was so sharp it had already drawn blood. I could feel it running down my neck.
Holy shit I’m fucking dead, I looked into the eyes of my assailant, the eyes were stormy scary grey, it was Megan but she seemed very different not the calm women we had talked to and way scarier than the woman that had told me not to worry my pretty little head about something because at the moment I was very close to losing said pretty head.
What do you want? She hissed, the words covered in ice.
Fuck me I’ve seen and done and been in a lot of shit and nothing had ever scared me like she did. Trying not to pee myself I move trying to get some room between my neck and the knife. Damn she’s strong I couldn’t get her knife arm to budge and I still couldn’t breathe fully yet. The knife never wavered.
I said what do you fucking want? She repeated.
I’m trying to suck in air, as I gasp I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I just came out to apologize.
She lets me go, just like that almost like a switch had turned off. I’m sucking in great gasps of air and trying not to pee my panties. I think I did a little but I will never tell anyone.
Are you ok? She asks, how bad is the cut? I don’t like people following me, came the smug answer. I told you I don’t know anyone so when people follow me it’s probably not a conversation they want.
Your right it was my fault and extremely stupid of me, I say. I know what I would have done, although the knife is a nice touch.
Yes they are. She said.
She knew I caught the they part of that statement, and I just kind of cringed because I was so focused on the one at my throat I never knew about a second one. If I asked would you tell me where the second one was?
She glanced at my stomach and it was then that I noticed the slice in my shirt, right at gut level, so not only did I run the risk of losing my head I could have been gutted at the same time.
Sorry about the shirt I guess you’ll have a reminder not to sneak up on people. And no I’m not buying you a new one. Your fault your issue. She stated flatly.
So you apologized why are you still here?
I noticed her eyes had gone back to the pretty steel blue of before, well that’s good at least. I’m good in a fight with knives, hand to hand, and guns but I know when someone is better and Megan is definitely better than anyone I’ve ever seen at least the little bit I saw and I didn’t want to test the rest of what she could do.
Ah.. I know but um.. could you… could you come back with me so that Tracy doesn’t make me walk home. I stutter out the words.
Ok, if you tell you me why you were such a bitch earlier.
Ya… um I have a protective streak when it comes to Tracy, she’s all either one of us has. She had her dad and Mitch her brother. Her dad was murdered almost 2 years ago and well you heard what I said happened to Mitch. So she’s all alone and me I got disowned when I came out as a lesbian and I was an only child of only child grandparents who are also dead.
That’s tough, she replied. At least you can remember them.
We walked back into the diner and Megan stayed standing by the booth as I slid in next to Tracy.
I see she tracked you down, you were gone so long I thought I would have to go find the cat fight, Tracy said jokingly.
I grimaced and Megan smirked.
It wasn’t much of a fight, Megan said. But she did apologize, so she can ride home with you and I will be on my way.
Wait a second Megan, here’s my business card it has my cell phone on there to, I know it says psychologist on it. And I don’t expect you to want to see me for that. But if you would like a friend I would be happy to be yours.
The shock on her face was evident, she smiled and said if I stay in town I’ll think about it. As long as your Pitbull ok with the idea.
The smirk and the sarcastic way she said Pitbull wasn’t lost on me. As I said no I don’t have a problem or an issue with you guys being friends, and maybe me and you can be someday to.
I’d like that if I stay in town she said as she put the card into her back pocket and turned around and said goodbye as she headed off for the door.
Can we go home now? I asked after she was gone.
Oh I wanted to go shopping before we went home. Answered Tracy as she pouted.
Well I need to go home and change my clothes and then we can go shopping for as long as you want to. I said. As we walked to the car.
What why do you need to change? Tracy asked.
I’ll tell you on the way home I replied.