I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms

I didn’t know Chapter 2.

-3-
The next day Lauren walked into class without her glasses and looked around the room to see if anyone noticed. I certainly did. She was wearing make up again dangly hoop ear rings that I had never noticed before. If fact I don’t think she had her ears pierced before today. We didn’t have a chance to talk all day.

At lunch she was with the same crowd of girls as yesterday and Warren and Carter dragged me off to play soccer. They needed a goalie. I like to play in goal because I don’t stand as much chance of getting knocked around and I can’t kick a ball like the other boys do.

I met Lauren outside after school had finished. I complemented her on her new ear rings. She said that as she was working in a high class women’s store she needed to look the part.

I wanted to walk her to her house but she said her dad was going to pick her up because she was working again tonight, but she wanted me go around to her house tomorrow because it would be Saturday and we could do some home work and maybe walk to the shopping mall because now she had money to spend.

I agreed because I would also have money to spend too, because I was going to baby sit little April tonight for the first time. Her father picked her up and I set about walking home on my own. Then I stated to get butterflies in my stomach at the thought of being alone in Miranda’s house. I wanted to touch Miranda’s clothes.

When I got home I showered, changed and had something to eat with my parents. Mom gave me a lecture about letting babies cry for a while before picking them up and that she was only a few moments away if I needed support or if anything went wrong.

They watched me walk down to Miranda’s from the corner then I walked up to the house. Robert was standing in the hallway. He looked like a model for Armani dressed in a pale grey suit and wearing a tie.

“Come in” he said. “I will show you around while Miranda finishes getting dressed.”

He showed me the TV room with the various games. He showed me his gym where he worked out every day. Then he took my hand and led me up the stairs. It seemed quite natural but a little odd. I have not held another mans hand since I was a little kid, but when he reached out, it just seemed natural.

He showed me the main upstairs bathroom then he showed me April’s bedroom which was next to Miranda’s bedroom, where the door was open and Miranda was trying dresses on before she went out.

He told me Miranda has put a little weight on and was no longer a size zero. In fact she was probably more like a 6 or 8. The door was open as we walked past, in fact Miranda waved at me as she was holding a dress in front of her and looking in the mirror.

She was wearing a slip but I could see the color of her bra and panties underneath. I remembered that I had already seen her in a swimsuit and seen one of her breasts. There were dresses and things all over the bed.

“Don’t worry about all of these things” she said. “I will put them away later as we are late as it is. April is fast asleep and will stay that way if we are lucky.”

Robert and I waited at the foot of the curved staircase for Miranda to come down. She was wearing a black sparkling fitted evening dress with a low asymmetrical neckline showing lots of cleavage and patterns of sequins in irregular swirling shapes around the dress. It had very short sleeves and a hem just above her beautiful knees.

I could see now why she had been a model as she glided gracefully down the stairway knowing that she was being watched and admired by her two awestruck people. Her smile and her gleaming ultra white teeth were amazing.

“You are perfect,” said Robert. “Totally beautiful Miranda.” And as she descended her eyes were totally on Robert, apart from one tiny glance and wink at me.

At the base of the stairs Miranda rushed over to me and gave be a big hug followed by a stinging loud kiss on the ear then she held me by the shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. She said that I can have anything in the fridge as long as it’s not alcoholic and they would be back before 10pm.

Her perfume and her touch were wonderful and her make up totally flawless. Then they skipped outside to a waiting cab.

For a moment I was sad to see something so beautiful leave because she was so wonderful to be around, but then I closed the door gently with my back and looked around. I was alone in Miranda’s house and they would not be back for 3 hours. What should I do next?

I didn’t want to run upstairs and dash straight into her bedroom and start touching all of her clothes did I? Well yes I did actually, but I thought it best to just watch TV for a while till I felt safe enough that they would not come back for something they had forgotten and it was OK to go up the stairs, although I could be checking on the baby! So I wandered into the family room and switched on the TV. I didn’t want to watch anything, but it seemed the right thing to do.

There was a door off the family room to the pool changing room, and another to the laundry room, I thought the laundry room might be interesting, but there was nothing in there but laundry machines and piles of towels and men’s tee shirts. So I wandered into the pool changing room and started quietly open closet doors. Inside I found a closet with a rack of women’s swim suits.

The rack slid out on a rail so I could see them all at once, so I started to touch them. The ones at the front were for a very full breasted woman, but the ones nearer the back were for someone who was less well endowed. They were made from different types of spandex and nylon. Some were silky and smooth, and some were more cottony.

I remember Miranda saying that she used to be small breasted when she was younger so I looked near the back of the rail and found some that were more my size.

I found one bikini set that were pink and white and had little ruffles around the bottom of the top and the top of the high cut bottoms. They were also under wired. I had to try them on. I took off my tee and shorts, but left my socks on just in case.

I put the bottoms on first. They were very smooth to the touch and felt sensational riding up my legs. They fit high on my hips covering my boy parts completely except for the shape that you could see outlined.

I then put the top on, which took a while to figure out how to fasten it at the back. It did not close like a bra, but when I got it right and pulled some skin into the cups. I was wearing a bra for the very first time.

I just closed my eyes and stood for a second feeling the straps running around my back, over my shoulders and under my breast. It gave my shivers.

I cupped my hands over my breasts and felt my nipples through the material. I felt the smooth tight silky edges of the bottoms cut into my butt cheeks and around my back then across my stomach. I touched every part of the bikini where it touched me.

I was in heaven. I moved over to the mirror to see myself and definitely saw some feminine there but I had to get rid of the penis poking out of the front.

For a minute or two I concentrated on something that would not get me excited, like snakes and spiders, then after my erection had subsided, then I quickly pushed my boy bits between my legs, and after a few adjustments, the spandex material held everything in place really well and definitely improved the feminine look. You could hardy tell there was a boy under there.

I checked around the room for anything else interesting in that room, but found nothing, so I put my tee shirt and my shorts on over the bikini and peeped out onto the family room. Still no one at home but me and the sleeping baby.

I went out into the family room and sat down to watch the TV. Just sitting on the couch felt feminine when wearing such feminine items. I remember sitting on that couch and feeling my bra under my shirt and thinking how fantastic and natural this feels.

I couldn’t sit still for long so I got up and slowly crept towards the stairs. They had been away half an hour so I still had plenty of time.

I got to the top of the stairs and thought it best to check in on April. She was sleeping soundly and silently but, I saw her adjust her position so I gently closed the door and walked into Miranda’s where she had kindly left the light on.

I was astonished to find about six dresses thrown on the bed and about amongst various bras, panties and slips of various shapes and colors, with a few pairs of high heeled shoes spread across the floor. I reached for a dark blue short evening dress with spaghetti straps.

It was made of some type of shiny nylon type material on the outside, but it was lined with something that I guessed must be silk on the inside. I held it against me and I knew I had to put it on.

I kicked off my sandals, took off my tee shirt and shorts and threw them over by the door. I held the dress in front of me, stepped into the dress and pulled it up.

The sensation was incredible. I continued to put my arms through the straps and reached back to do up the zip. It went up quite easily I lifted up my arms to the ceiling and wiggled my ass around and just enjoyed the sensation of a silky dress totally wrapped around my body. I did up the zip behind me and walked over to the closet door so I could look at myself.

I may have felt sensational, but there were a few things missing. My pale white legs and boys socks looked out of place with such rich colored material so I ditched the socks. The chest area of the dress was way too big and was sagging miserably, and the head was that of a thin faced long haired boy with hair combed down over his eyes.

I looked around the room to see what I could work on first and saw the dressing table with the make up and hair brushes already out. I sat down at the table and reached of course for the lipstick which I spread on my lips like butter on bread and could not figure out why it looked like a mess. Then I remembered women rubbing their lips in and out their mouths so I did the same.

My lips were improved dramatically and the taste and feel was wonderful. I wondered if people eat this stuff. I then reached for the mascara for my lashes and some eyeliner over the eyes. The use of these is demonstrated on TV adds all the time now so I thought I new a little about this, then I added a little blusher to my cheeks.

The look was definitely a feminine improvement. Now I had to do something with my hair. I brushed it one way then another but could not make a suitable look. Then I made a part on one side my head and combed my hair to the sides, pulling both sides back with hair slides I found on Miranda’s dresser. There was the look I needed. Now I knew I looked like a girl.

I looked at the other dresses that Miranda had left out on the bed, but they were all made for big breasted women, so I went into Miranda’s closet that had been left open with the light on.

Now I had hit the mother load. There must have been over a hundred dresses in there and nearly that many pairs of shoes. Down at the far end there were wigs of various styles and colors on stands and rows of wire baskets draw shelves were I could see what was in them without opening them.

There were endless types of different undergarments, many of which I did not know the name of. There were draws full of stockings, draws full of corsets, draws full of panties and draws full of bras.

I put my hands in a panty draw. They were not arranged in neat piles as I would have expected, but just piled in. The sensations from all of the different soft and exciting materials were fabulous.

Then I moved over to the bra draw. There were beautiful bras of different style in this draw but they were all relatively small in size. There were 34As and 34Bs which I guess would be nearer my size, but I already had my bra on and I was still elated about that.

Now for a dress! The dresses on both sides of the closet nearest the door were big breasted dresses with lots of material, but the dresses at the far end had almost no chest to speak of and many of them were tiny and short.

I reached for a pastel pink lacy dress with slim straps and no sleeves that I thought would fit and a pair of pink strappy shoes with 2” heels close by that would match. I took them out to the bedroom where I took off the blue dress and put on the pink one. The zipper was a bit harder to get all the way.

The dress pinched me in a little at the waist, but it did fasten, but was a lot harder to reach at the top. I got to it from behind my head. I pulled the dress down and smoothed it out to remove the ruffles and looked in the mirror. The girl in the mirror looked sensational and almost complete, but no shoes.

I then tried to put those strappy shoes on, but I found them difficult to get on. They seemed to be the right size, but the straps stuck to my skin and would not easily move. Then I realized that I did not have any stockings or tights.

I went back into the closet and sure enough I found a draw with stockings and tights of all different types, many new and still in the packaging but lots were used but all in perfect condition.

I found a pair of tights that were a light tan and did not look like they would be too tight. I sat down at the chair in the closet to put them on. First one foot then the other, I was getting interesting little ripples of pleasure from the bottom of my feet and ankles, and then I pulled the tights further up my legs the sensation followed. Then to my thighs, this was fabulous.

I pulled the dress up to my waist then pulled the tights up all the way. The sensation traveled all the way up and enveloped the lower end of my body. It was like having a thousand hands gently tickling me all over. I pushed the dress down between my legs and the sensations went wild.

I was having this buzzing sensation in my penis and the rest of my body was going crazy with delight. It took a couple of minutes to subside before I could walk over and put the shoes on. More wonderful feelings as I fastened the straps around my ankles. Then I stood and looked at the finished product. I felt perfect. This is how it feels to be a woman dressed fine clothes and it feels so good and so right

I felt somewhat disconnected from the vision in the mirror because it looked so feminine, but when I put my hand on one part of the dress or another, I could feel it. I could see the girl in front of me rub her legs together and I could feel the tingle run up between my thighs. I could feel my breast inside my bra when I put my hand to them.

For a couple of minutes I stood looking at the girl in the mirror, moving, posing and enjoying the sensations, then I knew I needed to go to the bathroom.

I walked slowly to the bathroom enjoying every tingling step as I went. The bathroom light was already on and there was a mirrored closet door open so I could see the girl in front of me as I stood with my back to the toilet.

It occurred to me that I was now going to watch this girl go to the bathroom, but it was me, but it can’t be. I pulled my pantyhose down to my ankles, and then did the same with my panties. The tights and panties had a wet and sticky patch in the crotch.

I pulled up the dress and held it in place with one hand while I sat with my legs apart on the john. My penis rose slowly to attention released from its hiding place. I grabbed it with my other hand and without actually planning anything my hand just started to pull the skin of my penis up and down, up and down.

I looked up at the girl in the mirror and immediately ejaculated sending great gobs of goo landing on the floor in front of my tights, then more landed on my panties and ankle and the straps of my shoe, then more on my knee and hand.

The lower part of my body was erupting through my penis, pulse after pulse almost like I was being pounded from behind like some invisible poltergeist had its hand on my ass and was squeezing me from the inside, and then it began to subside.

I was shocked. That had never happened before. I had heard kids talking about masturbation but never tried it. I sensed it was going to happen again quite soon.

I looked up at the girl in the mirror and she looked green with shock and embarrassment. One hand holding up her dress and the other hand in her crotch! This doesn’t happen to good girls, does it?

She looked like she had been violated by some unseen person and a CSI would be coming along with a rape kit, but it was me, and if anything I had been doing the violating.

I was the girl in the mirror and I would now have to clean myself up. I held my beautiful dress away from the globs of come on my hand and leg and reached for some toilet roll. It would be a messy clean up but that was my job I guess.

I wiped and dabbed and cleaned until I could not see any more of the offending fluid. There were obviously some parts that would need further attention. I couldn’t see anything on the dress but there were some spots on my panties and tights that would not come clean. I would deal with them later.

I think I got everything off the shoe. With the bathroom clean I pushed my boy thing back where it belonged, pulled up my panties and tights washed my hands, straightened my dress and walked out of the bathroom into the upstairs hallway.

The hall mirror confirmed that the pretty girl in the pink dress was looking sweet and sexy again, and the dampness between my legs did not stop me from feeling very feminine.

I walked over to Miranda’s dressing table and sat down and straightened the slides in my hair then I refreshed my lipstick and smiled. There that was better now wasn’t it? There I was, fully dressed as a girl and looking fabulous. It felt so good and so right.

I didn’t want it to ever change, then I looked at the time it was 8:40. My time was running out but I know I will be able to do it again. I imagined that it would take me a while to get everything away and there was still the chance that Miranda could come home early, so I reluctantly began to put everything away.

I put the dress and the shoes back, and then I heard my cell phone ring. I took it out of my shorts which were on the floor and answered.

“Hi Mitchell this is Mom.”

“I know Mom because your name and picture come up on my phone when you call.”

“Yes I know dear you showed me last week. How is the baby and how is everything going. You haven’t called so far so I guess everything is going OK but I thought I should call you just in case.”

As she spoke I sat on Miranda’s chair and spun around to look at myself. The girl looking at me didn’t have her dress on any more but she still looked pretty in that cute little bra.

“Mitchell are you listening to me.”

“Yes of course Mom everything is OK and the baby is still fast asleep.” I said watching the girl in the mirror talk to someone on the phone. “I am just sitting here watching TV.”

“Oh that’s nice, what are you watching dear?”

“Nothing much. There are some channels here that we don’t get at home. I am checking them out.” I don’t usually lie to my Mom but somehow sitting here at Miranda’s dressing table in a bra and make up, it came naturally.

“That’s nice dear, well be good and remember to call when you leave their house so we can look for you in the street.”

“OK Mom, see you later,” and I put the phone away.

I rubbed my hands down both the insides and outsides of my legs one last little shiver of excitement time before I took everything off.

I put the hair slides back on the dresser where I had found them. I did not think it was a good idea to put the tights back in that state because they looked like they would stain, so I decided to put them in my pocket.

I put my socks, tee shirt and shorts on and looked around the room to make sure everything was how I left it, then I went down to the pool changing room. My bra seemed OK so I put it back, but the bottoms were stained and wet. I decided I should take them with me too.

Then I thought about the tops of the bikini hanging there without the bottoms. So I decided to take them with me. The bottoms I could leave on under my shorts but the top would have to go in my shorts pockets. Thank heavens for cargo pockets.

I moved over to the sink and washed my face with soap and water. I tried to get all of the lipstick off with tissue paper then washed again. IT was difficult to get this stuff off and didn’t want to rub my eyes till they were red, but I don’t think anyone will notice, I then moved into the family room and curled up on the couch in front of the TV.

I woke up on the couch to hear the doorbell ringing. As I sat up I heard the key go in the door. Then as I stood up and turned Miranda was coming through the door, her heels clipping along the hallway. She placed her purse and wrap on the hall table, kicked off her shoes and skipped down the hallway almost sweeping my off my feet with the nicest of hug.

“How are you Mitch and how is my baby.”

”Not a peep” I said. ”I checked on her a couple of times but I don’t think she has woken up at all.”

“Let’s go see,” Said Miranda.

Robert was coming through the front door when we passed him. “Hey big guy did you have a good time here on your own?” He said as we passed him. “Try any of those video games?”

“Just TV” I told him. “Then I fell asleep.”

Miranda held my hand as she bounded up the stairs two at a time. We entered April’s room in silence. April was fast asleep and smiling. Miranda turned to me and gave me a great big hug. Her breast spread across my chest and my face fell down onto her neck as she held one hand around my shoulders and the other behind my head.

I put my arms around her back and could feel her bra straps and the skin of her back above her dress. Even her skin felt like silk. I felt wonderful to be in her arms as she was definitely dominating the situation as she was just a little taller than me when we stood together without shoes.

“I am really happy you could sit for us tonight and look after our baby. I feel safe that you are here and I hope that you will come here again often.” She whispered in my ear like it was really important.

I gave a quite sigh to myself thinking ‘I hope I don’t screw this up.’

I arranged to come around to visit Miranda and April on Monday straight after school and then it was time for me to leave. Robert walked me part way down the avenue till I could see Mom and Dan outside the house.

Part way down the way I realized that my hand was in Roberts’. I did not know how that happened but there didn’t seem anything wrong with it. His hands were big, warm and dry so I just left mine in his till I saw Mon and Dad when I ran down the avenue toward them.

When I got in was not in a mood to explain what went on to Mom so I promised to do it in the morning. I excused myself and went straight to bed because for some reason I was so tired I could hardly keep my eyes open.

I didn’t know it could be like this. A story by Symphony Simms

I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 3.

I woke up in the morning about 8am having slept through the night as soundly as a lamb. I sat up and surveyed the room where I saw my cargo shorts on the chair from last night and noticed the pockets were damp.

Then I looked under the shorts to find a pair of pink bikini bottoms. I had almost forgotten that I had in my possession a frilly pink bikini and a pair of tan tights. So I went to my bathroom and put them on.

This time there was no girl in a pink dress to make me feel guilty so I just hammered it till I came all over the bathroom floor, remembering just how wonderful it felt to be dressed in Miranda’s clothes and make up etc last night.

I have never masturbated in my life before yesterday. OK I have had a couple of wet dreams but to intentionally violate myself was previously beyond me, now I found myself doing it to myself twice in in 12 hours.

I also realized that if I was going to do this often I would need to have some way of controlling the mess. Having to clean up this sticky stuff was awful. I would plan on taking tissues with me whenever I get the urge for self-violation, as it were. I left the things on the floor and got in the shower.

After I got dressed I had to think what to do about the things. I didn’t want Mom to find them and I couldn’t take them to Lauren’s so I took the bottom draw of my dresser and put them on the floor then put the drawer back.

I know Mom cleans under here but not often. On my way out of the house I grabbed a little coffee from the pot and a cookie from the jar, and headed over to Lauren’s’ house.

Lauren’s house was a good 20 minutes walk from mine, down the hill towards the center of town, across the walkway over the highway and up the hill to her development. She lived in an older development from mine but the houses were just as big, but with narrow tree lined streets and manicured lawns open to the road and no front fences.

From her front door you could see all of the houses on the other side of the street. In my avenue most of the houses had fences and bushes in front so you could not see from one house to another. I buzzed the door and Lauren greeted me looking her old self with her glasses on.

She was standing a step above me when she leaned forward resting her head on my shoulder and then kissed me on the cheek, putting her arms around my chest as I put my arms around her shoulders. Her hair drifted across my face so delicately tickling my cheek and deliciously smelling of apples.

She had the touch of an angel. She took my hand and walked me into the kitchen where her mother was cooking at the stove.

“Good morning Mitchell” her mother said. “I believe you were round at my niece’s last night babysitting?”

“Yes I was Mrs. Martini and good morning to you. Everyone is fine and little April slept all of the time I was there. Easy money for a babysitter I guess.”

I could see the family resemblance now. Mrs. Martini was stacked just like Miranda. I wonder why I have never noticed before but Mrs. Martini was good to look at and had a very fine shape. She was wearing jeans and a tank top showing very nice cleavage. She had all of her make up on and she also had the family twinkle in her eye. She was really attractive.

Lauren attracted my attention with her usual move of placing both her hands on one of mine and gently squeezing till you notice her. Lauren looked nice but she had no make up on yet. Her skin was pale and her freckles and ginger eyelashes made her look very sweet and innocent. The way she looked right now she could just about pass for 15.

“Have you eaten yet Mitchell?” Lauren asked.

“No I haven’t yet,” I said.

“I guessed not from the way you were watching my mother cooking,” she said.

I agreed with Lauren but that is not why I was watching her Mom. Mrs. Martini cooked us pancakes and sausages with orange juice which we ate while Lauren changed the subject to her new job.

Laura explained that it was a high class store for ladies called ‘The Parasol’ that sells beautiful silk dresses, coat, hats and undergarments for fine ladies. She said that they also had a department that made custom corsets for the lady who might need to pull her figure in a little after say having a baby.

They also have a bra measuring service to make sure a lady has the right size bra on.

“What do you think of that Mitchell,” Lauren said looking at me like I should be interested.

“You don’t think Mitch is interested in that kind of stuff, do you Lauren?” asked her mother.

“Mitch is interested in everything I do aren’t you Mitch?” Lauren said in a kind of tongue in cheek way hoping that she was right.

“Of course I am, but not for myself of course, but my Mom has been saying that she feels that she has got into a rut with her clothes and feels a little frumpy. Maybe she should go to your store and get some new clothes and that would brighten her up a little, what do you two think?”

“I never thought to see your mother shopping the ‘The Parasol’ “said Mrs. Martini, “but all women feel better in nice clothes and I see no reason why your mother shouldn’t feel the same way, even if she has never worn clothes like that before.”

“So, Mitchell, what are we going to do about it?” said Lauren. “Will you bring her to the store when I am working there one evening? Is that a good idea?”

“Er, sure!” I said, not knowing if I should weather I should accept that suggestion or not. “I don’t see anything wrong with that, except that it feels kind of silly, me taking my mother to a dress store.”

“You might like it,” said Lauren. “There are always lots of well dressed pretty young women around for you to look at!”

“And you will be there too!” I said, with witch Lauren hit me on the back of my hand with her fork.”

“I see you two still have a healthy sense of humor,” said Mrs. Martini. “I will be interested to know if your mother likes that idea Mitchell. Please keep me informed. And please remember I like shopping at ‘The Parasol’ too if you would like more support”

“I am working on Tuesday so you can bring your mother around to the store about 7 o’clock.” Said Lauren smiling prettily and turning her head to one side, as she had decided and we agreed it would happen.

“So while you two work out the details I have to go into the city to meet Mr. Martini on his lunch break, then I have some business and shopping to do, so you two will have to look after yourselves till supper time.”

“And remember you are here to do homework so I expect in to be completed when I get home. You two have a history of talking till you run out of time, so remember I will be checking!” Mrs. Martini said walking into another room.

Lauren winked at me when her mother was not looking. I don’t know what it could be but I guess she has a plan.

“We have it under control Mom. Homework will be completed as promised,” said Lauren as for some reason she started touching my face and looking at me kind of funny. Then she grabbed my lower lip and started looking at it.

Lauren’s mom then came back into the kitchen with her purse and keys in her hand. Lauren and I were silent as Mrs. Martini placed a hand on each of our shoulders then she kissed Lauren on the cheek and me on the forehead.

As she was leaning forward she gave me a terrific view of her magnificent cleavage and a pretty, lacy underwire bra she was wearing. “And behave your selves” she said.

“Bye Mom,” shouted Lauren as her Mom walked out of the door.

Then Lauren turned to me and stood up. “Just you wait there while I get something.” She said.

She returned with two cotton buds and some baby oil. I could not think of what she was doing, then I thought of make up. I couldn’t have left any on me could I? Lauren grabbed my bottom lip again and pulled it down. Then she rubbed the cotton bud on the inside of my lip and showed it to me.

It came out pink. I said nothing for I could not think of anything to say. What kind of excuse could I come up with?

She then took the cotton bud with a little baby oil on it. Placing one hand gently upon my cheek to guide my face toward her she brought the cotton bud towards my upper eye lid. I pulled back slightly.

“Stay still,” Lauren said with authority. “You have been discovered now. There is no use to try to hide it. Just let me get this stuff off properly.”

Then with a gentle rubbing motion she touched my eyelids with the cotton buds and showed it to me. There was a black smudge on it.

“So tell me Mitchell. How long have you been wearing women’s make up?”

I did not reply. I was trying to think of some smart story that would get me out of this situation but I could not think of one. I was just going to lay myself at the mercy of the court.

“You can tell me Mitchell. Remember that I have always loved you and I always will. You are my best friend. You can tell me anything and I will never tell. So fess up!”

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes and a lump growing in my throat. My chin started to quiver then a tear ran down my cheek. Lauren moved closer, put her arms around me, kissed me gently on the eye and then she hugged me.

“There there,” she said. “If it was a bad experience you don’t have to tell me everything at once.” she said being very understanding.

”Was it a bad experience?” said Lauren.

“No” I said. “I really enjoyed it.”

“You enjoyed having make up on? She asked.

“Yes,” I said finding a tissue in my pocket and blowing my nose. “And a dress too!”

“You wore a dress and make up and you enjoyed it?”

“Yes,” I said.

“And who made you do this Mitch?”

“Nobody. It was my idea,” I said.

“And who was with you?”

“Nobody. I was on my own at Miranda’s house.”

“You wore Miranda’s clothes?”

“Yes,” I said. “I’m sorry.” I didn’t know why I was apologizing to Lauren but it just felt like the right thing to do.

“And why did you do this,” said Lauren.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I just wanted to know what it felt like to wear a nice dress and make up. You know. To feel like a girl.”

“I could have told you if you had asked me,” said Lauren.

“And what would you have said,” I asked.

“It’s wonderful to feel like a girl,” she said.

I looked Lauren straight in the eye. “I know,” I said. “I mean I only did it for a few moments, and nobody saw me, but I really enjoyed it.”

“So are you going to do it again Mitch?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said, knowing that now I had enjoyed that wonderful feeling of wearing a beautiful dress, I wanted to do it again and again.

Lauren took a couple of deep breaths then drew back a little so she could look me square in the eyes. She was shaping up to say something serious.

“Would you like to do it again? Now? You are exactly the same size as me and I have always wanted to put make up on that pretty face of yours.”

I felt like crying again for a moment because Lauren was such a good friend, but then I stared to get excited. I really wanted to do this. I wanted to wear one of Lauren’s beautiful dresses and look like Lauren. Oh my! I was getting an erection.

“Can we, really?” I asked.

“Yes, we can go up to my room and do it now. We have plenty of time. You heard my Mom say she would not be back for another seven hours.”

I smiled at Lauren and then my mouth fell open. My eyebrows started to go up and down in an involuntary way because I did not know what emotion I was feeling. I blew my nose again.

Lauren was waiting for a reply. Then I nodded my head. Lauren took my hand and looked at me without saying anything.

Was she serious? I thought to myself, that it had never entered my head that anyone, let alone sweet Lauren, my best friend, would take me to her room and dress me in girl’s clothes, just because I liked it!

Lauren stood up, and with my hand in her she led me out of the room. My heart started pounding and my stomach started to get all fluttery. She sat me on the chair in front of her dresser.

“Where should we start?”

I didn’t know it could be like this. A story by Symphony Simms
I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 4.
“Where should we start?”

“I don’t know” I said.
Lauren’s room was a beautiful bright room that faced toward the back of the house, with a tall peaked gable end window overlooking the back garden. I could see nothing but trees from this point of view.

Lauren’s room had a carpeted floor, in contrast to the hallways which were hardwood floors that made lots of noise as people walked on them. Her room had lots of painted pink and white trim, with wood furniture set off by pastel pale blue walls with large pink flowered stencils at various strategic places.

There were pale pink lace trimmed curtains each side of the window with huge pink ribbons on them. I had often been inside Laurens room before, but until now it had just been a silly girl’s room.

“Have you had a shower today?” Lauren asked.

“No” I said.

“OK, then you will have to take a shower. I am not letting you wear any of my pretty clothes without being as clean and sweet smelling can you can be. Take off your shirt,” she instructed.
I took off my shirt and held it on my lap allowing me to cover my erection. She inspected me with her hands then lifted one of my arms up.

“You have very little hair which is good and nothing at all on your face, but nice girls don’t have under arm hair so you will have to shave it. Now get in the shower and get yourself clean and hair free. Shampoo and condition your hair. I think we are both going to enjoy this.” said Lauren with a rye smile on her face.

I showered and shaved under my arms then got out of the shower. There was a big bath towel and a pair of the most beautiful soft silky pink and multi colored girls panties waiting for me when I got out. I picked up the towel and started to dry myself.

“Get dried and put those on then I will come and help you with the next steps.” said Lauren through the partially open door.

I had to concentrate on something horrible to make my boy bits go down so I could push them between my legs. I thought of a dying snapping turtle I had pushed out of the road the other day after it had been run down by a truck. Its guts were leaking all over the road. My boy bits shrank to nothing in an instant.

I pushed my boy bits underneath me and held them with my legs as I stepped into the panties. They felt sensational going on and they were tight enough for now to keep my boy bits in check, but I was not sure they would stay that way.

When I was done, Lauren came walking into the bathroom in just her bra and panties. She stood in front of me holding out some deodorant and talc. She had a pretty girly figure with a slim waist and curves in all of the right places.

She had on a wonderfully sexy white lacy demi bra that lifted and separated her little tits. She had matching panties on and she smelled wonderful. I noticed she had added some dramatic make up on while I was showering and she looked older and quite stunning.

She was of course skinny with probable not much more than an A cup but she was definitely girl shaped and not just a kid any more. The shape of her stomach as it flowed down into her panties was exquisite. Her hips looked wider than I remembered and her stomach flatter.

There was a distinct gap between her legs at the top that I had never noticed before, reminding me that this little girl that I grew up with had become a woman right before my eyes and I hadn’t noticed. She saw me looking.

“Well?” she said. “After a look like that I deserve some feedback!”

“I have never noticed until this moment just how grown up you have become.” I said softly holding her hand. “You are beautiful.”

“Wow that’s a beautiful complement that will get you brownie points without end. But so are you Mitch, and when I have finished with you, you will be just as beautiful as me. You are going to become my sister for the day,” then she helped me put ladies deodorant and talc on all my tickly bits.
“Next, we are now going to put some primer on your face so that your foundation goes on smoothly, then some foundation, but because you have not done this before we will do it here in the bathroom” said Lauren with authority.

She was totally in control of the situation and I felt safe leaving everything to her. I also felt like I had no choice about it now that I had started. She gave me a head band to keep my hair away from my face and while I was looking at myself in the mirror she had me gently rub in first the primer then the foundation cream all over my face and neck, blending it into my ears, neck etc, and going carefully up to my hair line without getting it into my hair, but not too close to the eyes as these would be done separately.

Lauren said this was her mother’s foundation, as her own was just a shade to light for my coloring, but her mother’s was just right.

This was a feminine experience unlike my evening at Miranda’s but so very enjoyable in so many different ways. I could talk to Lauren while we were dressing and it felt like we were getting closer as we girls did everything together, where at Miranda’s house I was on my own in silence.

When my face was now all a smooth and monotone, Lauren had me wash my hands to remove the excess make up from them, then we moved into her bedroom where she sat opposite me. She was now going to add make up.

First she added mascara then she plucked and lined my eyebrows. Then she spent some time on my eyelids using eye liner pencil and some other powered colored stuff that I am sure I will get to know about later. Then she rolled on some blusher and brushed it to feather the edges.

Then came the powder to set it all and last but not least the lip liner followed by lipstick. I had sat patiently with great anticipation for about 15 minutes while all this was going on. I tried to look in the mirror but Lauren would not let me because it would spoil the effect she said.

Now she worked on my hair, combing and teasing, she also added a device to lift the hair up at the back of my head to give me a completely different look, she said, then she added ribbons and slides in a couple of places, then she clipped earrings onto my ears.

Just as I thought I was going to get a look at myself she pulled me up and took me over to a tall dresser and pulled open the top draw. Inside there were nothing but bras and panties of all different colors.
“I am afraid they are mostly 34As and a couple of Bs, but I think that 34A is probably your size,” said Lauren. “Go ahead and pick out your bra.”

I reached in and touched some of them. They were wonderfully smooth and sensual. Some were under wired and some closed at the front. Some were foam shaped and some were stretchy. I picked one that was a soft stretchy silky material that had a horizontal low cut demi shape with under wires and a back closure in white.

I went to put the bra on but Lauren turned me around and gently pulled it up my arms and fastened the back before I had a chance to try. She then showed me how to arrange my breasts in the cups. It felt wonderful to have a bra on again but my breasts did not fill the cups.

“That’s a great choice” said Lauren, “and one of my favorites, but I never wear it to school as it is a little revealing. I don’t like the looks I get from the boys when I get silhouetted. You don’t quite fill the cups but I have something for that right here.”

She pulled out two soft plastic skin colored things and arranged them in my bra making me look like I actually had nice tits. “Chicken fillets we call them” said Lauren. “They will feel cold for a short while but they will soon warm up and feel like your own skin.”

Lauren then closed the top draw and opened the next draw. It was full of slips and underskirts and other soft and wonderful things. From under these Lauren pulled out a white corset with lots of boning and lots of hooks and eyes. “I wasn’t expecting that,” I said.

“I think you may be a little wider in the waste than me and we don’t want you stretching any of my pretty dresses do we?” she said holding it against me.

“It’s only a waste nipper and you won’t find it uncomfortable. It will just hold you in position when you need to look really thin at the waist. Anyway you might like it,” said Lauren. I felt that she was genuinely enjoying the predicament she was putting me in.

“And when have you ever needed to be thinner at the waist?” I asked.

“Well I have this one wonderful dress that Mommy bought me for my cousins wedding in the spring. I just loved the dress but the zip would bind when I tried to put it on and I could not get it in another size, so Mommy bought me this.”

“When am I going to see that dress?” I asked.

“No today,” she said.

“OK so how does it work?”

Lauren showed me that when you have to put it on yourself the hooks and eyes go at the front, but when you have someone to help you; the hooks can go at the back, making your front smoother when you have a plain fronted dress on. Lauren proceeded to squeeze me into the corset. It made me feel smaller in the waist and improved my posture no end.

She then showed me that when you wear a corset, some of your displaced skin can be used to enhance your breast by pulling the excess skin into the bra. When she did that I was overflowing the top of the bar. I felt like my chest was right out in front of me, well ahead of the rest of my body. The sensation was incredibly feminine. It looked like I had real tits.
She then selected a full length slip with thin straps and lace trim that stopped about mid thigh and helped me get it on without touching my hair or make up. She pulled another slip from the draw and put it on herself.

“Are we putting pantyhose on?” I asked.

“I wasn’t going to,” said Lauren, “but you can. In fact you should put stockings on. I find them much cooler on a warm day.”

Lauren reached down into the third draw of her dresser and took out a white garter belt and a pair of tan stockings. I lifted my slip up and Lauren put the garter belt around my hips and sat me on the side of the bed to help put the stockings on. They felt so delicate and silky going up my legs.

The tops of the stockings and garters felt unbelievably sexy rubbing against me as I moved my legs I could feel my boy parts getting heavier inside my panties and a wet spot developing between my legs. I decided I may not be able to ignore the impending explosion waiting to happen inside my panties.

I didn’t know what was going to happen to my boy parts as a result of dressing like this but I did not want upset her by coming over her lovely clothes, so I tried to explain my predicament to Lauren.

“Lauren,” I said.

“Yes Mitchell,” she said pausing briefly but continuing straight after. “You know I can’t go on calling you Mitchell while you look like this. We will have to think of another name. How about Michelle?” she said.

“No Lauren please!” I said. “That’s way to close to my boy name. Why can’t I have a romantic name that goes with your last name, Martini?”

“My Parents almost called me Sophia after the Italian actress, but they picked Lauren, which is similar to her last name. You can’t go wrong with a name like Sophia Martini.”

I smiled and nodded to her. “Sophia Martini it is,” she continued. “My cousin from up state! Now what did you want to say to me Sophie?”

I enjoyed being called Sophie for the first time, but I continued. “Well, I am getting very excited by what we are doing. Like, sexually excited.” I said trying not to be crude.

“Me too,” said Lauren. “I am all wet getting tingly between the legs. And?” She was asking me like ’well what do you expect.’

“Well when a boys gets this way he is liable to make a mess in his panties, and I wouldn’t like to make a mess on these pretty clothes. I know these panties I am wearing are already wet.”

“Sophia, I have to stop you there to give us both a reality check. My Mom told me what to say when certain things started to happen and this must be one of those moments. I am a fifteen year old girl, and I have made an agreement with my parents that I will not engage in any kind of sex till I am at least 18.”

“We have rules for deciding what is sex and what isn’t. So here it is,” Lauren said using her ‘I am in control and you are unfortunately going to have to listen’ voice.

“I have promised never to touch anyone’s penis, and no penis is going to touch any part of me. Well, not till I am a little older. Those rules may sound a little restrictive but I am sure we can work with them. Do you have a problem with that?” she said, softening her voice while looking into my eyes.

“No, no!” I said trying to comprehend what I had just be informed, while realizing that I had absolutely no expectations of what would happen, or what the sexual ramifications might be. And then I had a thought.

“You realize that apart from one little lip smacker in front of the school the other day that we have never really kissed?”

“Yes!” said Lauren, and then she change the subject.

“OK here is what we will do, and this is what I do when it’s my time of the month, I take a pair of fuller shaped, control panties and put a winged panty liner inside.” She searched inside her top drawer and found a pair of control panties, then in her bottom drawer for a box of panty liners.

“Here you go,” she said as she handed them to me.

She saw the bemused look on my face as I looked at them. She took them out of my hand, took the backing off the liner, added the liner to the panties wrapping the wings around the underside and handed them back to me. As I pulled them up my legs I could feel how much tighter they were. Similar to the bikini bottoms I wore at Miranda’s, and still have under my bedroom dresser I reminded myself. The new panties smoothed me down and held everything in place better while feeling even sexier than before.

“Now we need shoes,” Said Lauren. She took me by the hand and walked me into her closet and switched the light on, still not letting me see what I looked like. It was not as big as Miranda’s closet. It was mainly dresses, tops, skirts, coats and pants hanging on the hangers with shoes laid out in pairs on the floor.

Boxes of stuff lay on the shelves above plus a large number of dolls and stuffed animals, some arranged so they looked down on us. I wanted to reach up and hug one of them. Lauren didn’t see me looking at them. She reached for a pair of cream colored pumps with about 3” heels and handed them to me.

“Which dress will I wear?” I asked.

“Just put the shoes on first then I will show you. How are they?”

I put one foot in and stood up on it. It felt pretty good. I put the other foot in and stood on it. They felt marvelous. I felt taller and my back kind of straightened up. My chest stood out even further.

“They are fantastic,” I exclaimed.

Lauren put a pair of open toed shoes with ankle straps. “They are really nice too,” I said.

“Do you want to wear them?” said Lauren.

“Not right now,” I said. “Maybe later!”
Then she reached out and pulled a dress from the rail. It was a creamy color with small pink and white flowers on it. It was low cut at the front and back and looked very short. Lauren ran the zip down and handed it to me as I would put it on.

I put both hands on her shoulders and lifted one leg in, then the other. She pulled up the dress around me and I felt it slither and slip its way up my thighs, butt and stomach, twisting it side to side so it would not bind with my slip. It seemed to be a little tight till the waist of the dress met mine, and then it fit snugly around me and I put my arms into the straps. It clung all about me.

Then Lauren turned me around again and pulled the zip up. It fit like a glove till it got tight under my breasts where it got a little tighter still, till I adjusted my breasts to fit into the soft shaped area left for them by the shape of the dress. Under the breasts the dress was elastic stitched so fit snuggly accentuating my breasts and giving me what felt like a sensational shape. A womanly shape.

I stood still with my legs a little apart to give my extra bits some room to move. I looked down at myself to see pretty pair of shoes, a wonderful pair of shiny legs, a really pretty dress topped off by a pair of nice tits. I felt like a pretty girl, but did I look like one I wondered to my self.

While I was admiring my self, Lauren had put her dress on. It was pastel yellow with ruffles around the breast and straps, and it had a sash and bow of the same material tied at the side but it was also form fitting and showed off her shape quite nicely. It was just as short as mine with both dresses at least 3 or 4 inches above our knees.

“Ready for the big reveal,” she said.

I looked up at this beautiful big teddy bear above me and said, “Can I take him with me for support?” Lauren nodded.
I reached up to grab the teddy bear. I gave him a great big hug, held him on my hip and took a deep breath. “OK now I am ready,” I said.

Lauren took my hand and looked straight at me. She pulled my hand to her lips and kissed it. “You won’t believe this!” she said.

“What?” I said. Then Lauren led me into the sunlight light coming in from the window and in front of her two big dressing table mirrors, but I could not see me!

All I could see was Lauren looking absolutely stunning in her pale yellow mini dress and this absolute knockout foxy young woman standing at her side holding a teddy bear. It was incredible. There was nothing about this woman to suggest was wasn’t a 100% sexy female and there was certainly no boy in the picture.

My knees started to buckle.

I didn’t know it could be like this. A story by Symphony Simms

I didn’t know. Chapter 5.

My knees started to buckle.

Lauren was looking at me as I stared at the reflections. The two young women in front of me were scintillating. Their legs, their faces, their bodies were just gorgeous and cried out to be touched.

It was truly an out of body experience looking at these two hot women and realizing that one was me and the other was my 15 year old girlfriend. My boy bits tucked inside my panties were doing somersaults and vibrating like and electric razor.

Then Lauren stepped between me and the mirror. She put her arms around my waist and stood staring me straight in the eyes with a totally blank look on her face. Our eyes were at exactly the same height as we stood nose to nose. I could feel the breath brushing across my lips.

I starred back for a moment and then she turned her head to one side like she didn’t want our noses to touch, and kissed me on the mouth.

Oh my, it was wonderful! Not just the mouth! Her mouth was wide open and she enveloped me, her tongue was wandering all over my mouth rubbing against my tongue. I felt the teddy bear dropped to the floor.

She tasted like there was no possibility that anything could taste any better and any other kisses would be a waste of time, but shortly I had to break away from her mouth.

I could feel her tits against mine, her stomach, her hips and her thighs against mine, now she had one hand on my ass and one around my waist, touching my dress and holding me against her.

I had my hands around her waist and back feeling her wonderful soft but firm skin under her dress, pulling her towards me, pressing her hips and grinding them against mine. I felt my feet in my shoes, my stockings on my legs and my penis ready to burst if it wasn’t held back between my legs.

I straightened my arms and held her a little away and we caught each other’s eyes and a huge happy smile drifted across her face before she lowered her head to just beneath my ear and started kissing my neck. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensations.

I lowered my hands down to her ass, one hand on each mound. She was not as soft as I had expected but firm and she moved as I touched her as if she was apprehensive but still enjoyed it.

We were now pubic bone to pubic bone with only two dresses and our panties between us. The little dance my penis was doing turned into a shudder and I buried my head into Lauren’s neck and held on tight as I thought I could loose my balance.

More little shudders occurred lasting for a few seconds then subsided. I don’t know if Lauren understood what just happened but she just held on to me and did not move while I regained my self control.

I could feel a stickiness between my legs but I knew it was contained inside my panty liner.

We relaxed our grip of each other and she kissed me on the lips again, this time with her mouth closed but the touch or her lips on mine was magical. She pulled away from me and looked at me as to survey the damage.

I guess we were both a little bedraggled so she leaned backwards while still pressing our hips together and my hands still rested on her hips. She started some repairs by reaching for the hair brush and pinning back one of my hair slides.

“So was my kiss worth waiting for?” asked Lauren.

“It was wonderful,” I said. “In never dreamed a kiss could be so beautiful. Did you enjoy it?”

“Not bad,” she said. “With a little practice we might get quite good at it.”

“So how come you decided to kiss me like that when I am dressed like a girl?” I asked, “Instead of when I am dressed like a boy?”

“I haven’t had time to think about that, but it did seem kind of natural to me. I suppose that because we have been close friends since we were small, I have often wondered what you would think and what you would look like if you were allowed to wear a dress.”

“I have tried t shirts and shorts and all of the other things that boys wear and I decided a long time ago that I prefer to wear dresses, but you were never given the choice until now.”

“You look very pretty in that dress you know.”

“Thank you.” I said still shocked at the idea that I had just been kissing Lauren while wearing a dress and creaming my pants. I realized that Lauren had not answered my question. “OK so I look pretty in a dress, but would you have kissed me like that if I was not wearing a dress?”

“Of course I would silly. It was just that when you agreed with me that it was wonderful to feel like a girl, I got a little excited at the thought that we could enjoy being girls together.”

“Excited? But why were you excited?”

”I don’t know silly. It was just that things kind of came together. I was all along planning to kiss you today you know, and then you told me that you had been wearing a dress at Miranda’s house. I had always wondered what you would look like wearing make up and a dress. I started to get excited.”

“How do you mean, excited? I didn’t see you jump up and down or start clapping your hands.”

“Not that kind of excited. I don’t want to call you silly again but, you know, the other kind of excited.

“Sexually?” I asked. Lauren nodded her head. I did not know what to do with that information. It just floated out there waiting for someone to grab hold of it, so I probed a little more trying to find out what I could do with it.

“Didn’t you say that you have promised not to touch a penis or be touched by one?” I asked.

“Yes,” said Lauren. “But your penis is held tight in you panties, and if you promise to keep it there, I might let you touch me!”

“But I have been touching you,” I said but I was sure I was missing something. My hands everywhere that I expected she would allow me to touch her, and that is when I realized that I had limited my expectations unnecessarily.

I lowered my right hand down onto her left leg and under her dress. My palm was now flat against the side of her firm unyielding thigh. Her sin was soft, smooth and silky with tiny hairs to tickle the palm of my hand that I know could not be seen.

She took a sharp intake of breath, closed her eyes momentarily and shivered in my grasp. Then turned her head sideways and I turned mine to meet her, then she kissed me again full on the mouth and I let her tongue slide deliciously against mine for a few delicious seconds then she pulled away and looked into my eyes.

I knew there must be more. I think she was expecting me to put my hand inside her panties, but our hips were so close together that nothing could come between us, so I took my hand away and moved myself sideways so that my legs were either side of her right hip.

Then I put my hand back on her leg, but I did not find her leg, I found her crotch covered by her panties. I looked to her face but she had her eyes closed waiting for my next move, so I closed my eyes, rested my head on her shoulder and moved my hand further into her crotch.

I could feel her soft silky hair under and around the material of her panties and the heat beneath them. She pulled both of our dresses up and away from the area so they rested above where my stomach rested against her hip. She pulled my hand away momentarily and pulled her oh so tiny flimsy panties aside. She held my hand by the wrist and plunged it into the warm wetness of her crotch.

I stiffened my hand against her as she guided me to the entrance to her vagina which was very firm but well lubricated and allowed my finger to slip inside just a little. I had to bend down a little to get the right angle of approach.

She now had a very tight grip on my forearm directing it into the right position. “Oh that’s it!” she exclaimed as I put my finger just an inch inside her, “now just rub your finger around the entrance,” she said so I did what I was told.

I was thoroughly amazed that I was doing this to a young girl who until just a few days ago I thought of as just a kid. The feel of her vagina was incredible with the juices running down onto my hand and down her leg feeling soft, slippy and very clean and tingly.

“Now move your thumb back and forward.” My thumb was buried in the soft mound of flesh in front of her vagina. I moved by thumb backwards through the little fiddly bits of skin, her body shook and she pulled my hand further towards her.

“Not so tight,” I said, “you are hurting my hand!”

“OK,” she whispered.

She took her right hand and placed it on my ass and grabbed a handful, I could feel the layers of soft silky material of my dress under her hand as she held it firmly against me, then she shuddered and shook in my hands.

“Keep it going, keep going” she demanded.

I had my left hand on her ass inside her panties with the dress overflowing over my hand with the fingers of my right hand just a couple of inches away were circling inside the entrance to her vagina.

My thumb rubbed slowly and gently back and forth over her clitoris. It was like I was holding all of her womanhood in my hands.

We moved and swayed together so that the top of her right thigh pushed into my crotch and rubbed on the base of my penis as it was pushed back beneath me, which was wonderful in itself, but this was her turn. I concentrated on her enjoyment.

She gripped me tighter with her hands and her face lifted toward the ceiling as she let out a series of involuntary sounds without words that seemed to come from her toes and echo around the room while she quivered in my grasp and her knees went outwards as if to let me in further.

This seemed to last for a few seconds then subside before coming back again just as powerful as before, then a third time not quite as strong, then a series of small quivers and shakes during this time she would not let me stop moving inside her as she continued to hold my hand to her.

“I can’t do this any longer,” I said. “My hand is cramping.”

“That’s OK,” she said. “You can stop now.”

I stopped moving my thumb, but she did not let my hand go and kept holding it deep inside her still quivering crotch. Neither of us was in a hurry to move.

Our heavy breathing was beginning to subside and we could both begin to reassess our surroundings.

I looked around Lauren’s room to see that girl again looking at me. But what am I. I am a fifteen year old boy who is wearing a dress and has just creamed his panties, who was holding Lauren two handed by the crotch.

She was a fifteen year old goddess who has just had, I assume, her first full orgasm, with a boy/ girl’s 2 hands stuffed into her wet and sticky panties.

Lauren’s eyes were closed and her head was making tiny movements one way or another while she was making tiny unrecognizable whispering sounds to herself. What could be more perfect?

This felt so good on so many levels that I could never explain them all, safe to say that I felt as satisfied as Lauren obviously looked. My hand was beginning to feel cold and sticky as was Laurens crotch and leg. That moment had come to and end.

“Keep your hand away from my dress, our dresses.” said Lauren as we disconnected ourselves and our dresses floated down towards our knees.

Lauren took off towards the bathroom while I was left to smell the sweet aroma left on my hand covered Lauren’s vaginal juices. I can’t describe it as it has a sent all of its own unlike any other, but it made me smile.

I followed Lauren toward the bathroom. I watched from the hallway as she threw off her wet panties, took a soapy flannel and spread her knees wide apart to wash between her legs and down the inside of her thighs. She turned her head to see me looking.

“You are not supposed to be watching!” she exclaimed.

“You did not close the door.”

“I am a weakened state and you must have taken advantage of me!” said Lauren in a kind of confusing tone that I don’t remember before.

“Don’t tell me you are sorry we did that,” thinking how otherwise could she have had an orgasm if that had not been her first.

“No of course not, but you are watching me clean myself up. I don’t think I look very lady like at this moment do I?”

“You are wonderful.” I said. “You are gorgeous and I love you.”

“You have no idea what that sounds like coming from such a pretty young girl. You look like you should be saying that to a handsome young man, but I am glad you are saying it to me, because I love you to,” said Lauren now drying herself. “Now I need to get some fresh panties.”

I washed my hands and followed Lauren into her bedroom, feeling a sad loss having to wash away those wonderful juices, but I couldn’t keep them.

Lauren went over to her dresser for a clean pair of panties and put them on without ever considering where I was or if I was looking.

“Can I have a fresh pair of panties and a panty liner?” I asked.

She also handed me a fresh pair of fine silky white skimpy lace panties, and a clean panty liner. She showed me how to put the soiled pad in a bag in the garbage and not down the toilet as I would have done. I went into the bathroom and cleaned myself up in private.

When I got back, Lauren had returned her make up to the perfection it had been before. While she was repairing my make up I asked, “What is your mother going to say when she sees all of these soiled panties in the same day?”

“My mother has always been keen that I wash my own separates since I was 10 or 11 to be sure they never get mixed in with father’s things, so we just leave them in the basket in my room. No problem.”

“So are we going to do our homework now?” I asked.

“No way,” she said. “We are going out. I want to show my cousin Sophie around the area and maybe meet some of my friends.

“But what about our homework? You mother said she was going to check.” I exclaimed.

“Don’t worry I did it before you got here and put both of our names on it. We are allowed to collaborate for this one.”

“But I can’t go out like this,” I said.

“Oh yes you can,” she said. “I did not get you all dressed up like that just so sit at home and do homework.”

“But I’m still a boy,” I tried to argue, unconvincingly in a dress, high heels and make up.

“When you looked in that mirror over there,” she asked. “Did you see anything that looked like a boy?”

“No,” I said. I had to admit that I had not felt anything boyish since I went into her room and put a bra on. Except of course for the penis that exploded in my panties a little while ago, but that can be considered an anomaly.

“But what about my voice?”

“Your voice may have broken, but it didn’t go very far. You could use your regular voice and coming out of those lips nobody would ever argue that it was not a beautiful girl’s voice.”

“Well what about feminine actions. How am I going to know how to act like a girl?”

“I will give you now all the rules about being a girl in 2009.”

“1. Talk quietly and”

“2. Keep your legs together, and even those two rules are flexible these days.”

“You do not need to be limp wristed and coy to be a girl these days.”

“As you are standing there, you are prettier and more feminine than many of the girls in our high school.”

I had to admit, looking back to the mirror, that I think she could be right, but I was not sure that I could feel so confident when I don’t have the girl in the mirror looking back at me.

“I could never be prettier and more feminine that you. You are the real deal. I am just a fake, an impersonator who could be discovered.” I replied.

“You are gorgeous and real,” said Lauren, “And anyone that meets you will fall head over heels in love with you, just as I am.”

I found it difficult to argue. No one had ever been so positive in reinforcing my self esteem, not even when I was wearing boy’s clothes. I moved over to Lauren and hugged her, and as soon as I did, our tits bumped together and our thighs rubbed against each other in a way that started stirring my boy bits again.

“OK you have sold me,” I said. “Let’s see what its like to wear a dress out in public. But just to have a walk around. Promise me you won’t introduce me to anyone or make me do any talking.”

“And if we see anyone we know we just turn around and walk back here. Is that clear?” I said trying to be firm in my best strong young girl in a dress manner.

“And if any boys walk up to us to try to talk to us or anything, I am just going to run away!”

“I don’t think you will Sophia my pretty girlfriend. I think you will just flash your pretty eyes and let me do the talking, OK?”

“OK.” I said, feeling very apprehensive but exited at the thought of new sensations I might enjoy while outside in the street wearing a dress.

Lauren found a small purse with long strap for me, as she did for herself that matched our dresses and put some essentials in them. Lauren and I then I went about trying some of Lauren’s shoes on to find ones that would be comfortable walking down the hill to the post office.

I selected an open toed grey pair with a 3 inch heel that didn’t exactly match my dress but they were so lovely and comfortable that I couldn’t resist.

Lauren also made me wear some pale pink nail varnish on my finger nails. She said no self respecting good looking girl like I was would ever go out without her nails done.

We cleaned up her room a little, collected my boy clothes and put them into a draw in Lauren’s dresser. Everything looked perfect.

While Lauren made her final preparations I went downstairs and walked around the house looking at myself in various mirrors, checking various looks and smiles that I could use on people, listening to my high heels clicking on the hardwood floors and practicing sitting nicely in chair after chair until Lauren came downstairs.

We stood toe to toe under the tall ceiling of the hallway then she gave me one more tit to tit hug and looked me in the eyes.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Ready!” I replied.

Two pairs of high heels clicked there way across the front entranceway, Lauren opened the door and we stepped out into the sunlight.

I didn’t know it could be like this. A story by Symphony Simms

I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 6.

Stepping out.

As we stepped out onto the driveway it was like walking onto a stage and being spotlighted in front of thousands of people. The light was so bright. I had no sunglasses and for a moment I felt like there was someone in every window of every house on the street looking at me at the same time.

I felt the sudden chill of the autumn fresh air on my bare arms, chest and back. I also felt the rush of air around my legs and up my skirt to feel my exposed stocking tops, which was quite a pleasant surprise indeed.

I stuttered in my step and reached for Lauren’s forearm with my two hands. My purse fell off my shoulder and swung into Lauren’s leg, but she did not complain.

“What’s wrong?” she said as she turned and looked at me.

“So many different sensations,” I said. “It’s a little overwhelming. I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Don’t tell me that you little sissy. We haven’t got off the driveway and you’re already chickening out?” She said this like a question that she wanted me to answer.

“No,” I said not really wanting to go forwards or backwards. “Just give me a minute! And why did you call me a sissy?”

“I only said it because you seem more frightened than you should be, but,” she thought for a moment, “it is appropriate you know. That’s what they call boys who like to wear dresses.”

“So, am I a sissy?”

“Yes darling, but you are my beautiful sissy boy and I love you and promise to take care of you always.” Lauren was coaxing me to start walking across the driveway.

“Anyway we can’t just stand here we could get charged for loitering, and the way you look you could get charged for attempted prostitution.”

My jaw dropped a little as I started to walk with her. Sometimes I am amazed by what comes out of this little girl’s mouth. As I walked I began to feel my stocking tops and suspenders gently tickle the tops of my legs. Another unexpected surprise!

“That’s it. Just keep walking, try to relax a little, hold my hand and enjoy being outside in the fresh air.”

We reached the end of the driveway and turned towards the main road. As I kept walking I began to check every window or door thinking someone would shout out ‘hey there is a boy in a dress,’ but no one did.

We walked past a couple of houses before a car came down the road in front of us. Lauren recognized the man driving and waved to him, but I just glanced at him then kept on walking. There was a woman in the garden of the next house who looked up from her gardening. Lauren saw her first.

“Hi Mary,” said Lauren.

“Hi girls! Beautiful day isn’t it.” said the woman.

“See!” Lauren whispered to me. “She recognized you as a girl and so will everyone else. Now let’s cross the road but don’t step on the grass because you are wearing high heels and you will get your shoes dirty.”

We crossed the road and nothing happened. I was OK. We got to the end of the road and turned to walk down the hill. This road was a lot busier. Cars drove by people and looked from a distance but I was still unscathed. I was beginning to take things in and enjoy myself, but every now and then I thought I could feel some ones glance on my legs or chest. I looked around but could see no one.

I thought about my chest and my tits. I looked down at the little mounds poking out in front of me. They looked so heavenly and they were mine, at least they looked and felt like they were mine. I was very happy.

“You must have confidence Sophia,” said Lauren as we continued walking, my hand in hers. “If you have confidence then you can carry almost anything off. When you look at people you need to be thinking ‘I am a pretty girl. What do you think about that?’”

For a moment I thought about Forest Gump so I said out loud, “Hi Forrest. I am a purrrdy guurrl. What do you think about thayyat,” I said in my best southern drawl.

Lauren giggled and joined in. “You can have fried shrimp. Broiled shrimp. Barbie cood shrimp.”

“Run Forest Run” I shouted. We were both giggling now and trying to think of the many ways to cook shrimp. The hundred or so yards to the main street disappeared in an instant.

“Life is like a box of choc lets,” said Lauren.

“What happened to your legs Sergeant Dan,” I replied.

“I guess you two girls have watched Forrest Gump a few times.” said a woman’s voice behind us.

We turned round to see a nice dark haired lady in shorts, a tee shirt and running shoes with a water bottle in her hand. We had stopped at the traffic lights and continued giggling allowing this woman to enjoy our foolishness.

“Oh Hi,’ said Lauren still partially giggling. ‘We didn’t know anyone could hear us.”

“Oh that’s OK, you made me laugh for the first time today so I am glad I bumped into you,” said the lady looking both of us up and down.

“My, you really are pretty young things aren’t you?” The three of us smiled at each other for a moment, still recovering from the giggling. Then the lights changed the lady jogged off across the busy street.

“See I told you how pretty you are, now just follow me and enjoy your walk,” said Lauren.

We were staying on this side of the street so we walked towards the post office. I followed Lauren past the bank and into the post office where she wanted to buy a stamp and post a letter. All the people at the counter were looking the other way, or so I thought, and that made me feel safe.

I could see displays of special stamps, shelves of envelopes, advertisements for parcel deliveries and at the end of the room, post office boxes and two teenage boys looking at me. It was Carter and Warren.

“Damn it” I said and I gave Lauren’s purse a firm tug. As she turned around she saw them walking over. She leaned over and whispered to me.

“I am pretty and smile!”

“High Lauren, who is your friend,” said Warren smiling and looking straight down at me. I felt so tiny as he hovered over me. I was hoping the ground would open up and swallow me. I tried to smile.

“Hi guys, this is my cousin Sophie from up state. Say hi Sophie.”

I whispered hi to them but I don’t think any sound came out. Warren held out his hand. “Hi Sophie, I’m Warren.”

I placed my hand in his. I don’t remember him having such big hands. They were dry and warm and my hand felt comfortable in his.

“Hi Sophie my name is Carter,” said Carter holding out his hand, but Warren would not let my hand go.

Warren was starring at me with a big grin on his face, like a daytime TV star at a parade thinking to himself ‘hey look at me I am really something special.’

“And where are you ladies going today,” said Warren looking straight at me, trying to make his voice sound as deep and soft as he could.

Lauren answered knowing I was a little tongue tied. “We are just out for a walk and to post a letter.”

As I was staring into Warren’s eyes. They were dreamy. I realized mouth was wide open so I closed it.

“So whereabouts up state do you live Sophie” said Carter trying to attract my attention.

“Near San Francisco,” I said. I looked over at Carter and he was looking me straight in the eyes too, but I wanted to look back at Warren.

“Yeh, whereabouts? My brother lives near San Francisco,” said Carter.

“The north side I think,” I realized that what I said made no sense but I was trying to be a vague as possible. Warren’s touch and the way he was looking at me made me feel tingly all over.

Lauren put one of her hands on my wrist, one on Warrens and pulled our hands apart. “We have got to go now! Our parents could be looking for us.”

Then she turned away and started dragging me out of the post office, bouncing me off the big glass doors in the process. We got outside and she stopped and turned to look at me.

“What do you think you are doing,” said Lauren sounding a little annoyed with me.

“I was only holding his hand,” I said.

“You were flirting,” she said “flashing those big blue eyes at him. He’s going to follow us now you watch.”

The boys followed us out. I had no idea what I had done. I was just looking at him, wasn’t I?

“Gee, can we buy you two a Coke?” said Warren from behind us. “There is a seating area outside the convenience store.”

“We have to go home, don’t we Sophia?” Lauren said sternly.

I raised my brow, pulled my bottom lip over my top lip and looked at her while twisting my purse strap around my finger. “One coke?” I said.

“Jesus, one Coke!” she said giving her reluctant approval.

I was amazed that both our attitudes had changed in just a few second. I wanted to talk to Warren because I thought Warren was interested in me because he thought I was a girl, but Lauren had almost dragged me here and now she wanted to go home.

Warren put an arm around each of us and turned us toward the store. His big hand went around my shoulder and made me shiver in the nicest way. His uncovered forearm rubbing against the skin of my bare back as we walked.

“You must have met my friend Mitch this morning Sophie?” he stated. Oops I almost forgot about him, me, whatever.

“He was with us earlier,” said Lauren. “We did our homework together then he went home.”

“I went round to his house earlier, but he wasn’t there” he said.

“You must have just missed him,” said Lauren. Warren led us to the benches outside the convenience store and Carter went inside to get some Cokes. I sat in the middle of one of the benches, my knees together with my hands together in my lap.

I could feel my control panties and my suspenders beneath my dress and I could feel the bare part of my legs above my stockings touching the wood of the seat. It was weird and sexy at the same time.

Warren walked around me and sat next to me touching the leg of his baggy shorts against my stocking covered leg as he sat down as close to me as me could. His arm was touching mine as he put his hands on his knees.

As Lauren sat down beside me, she reached out for my hand and held it with the two of hers seemingly to distract me away from Warren.

“What grade are you in Sophie?” he asked. I turned to look at him. His head was tilted in front of mine. He had to stoop down and twist around so that he could get his head down to my level.

“Same as Lauren,” I said. “I am just a couple of months younger than her.” I lied. I was a few months older than Lauren, but I thought it best to throw him off the scent so to speak.

“Mitch and I are the same age within a couple of days,” said Warren.

Our parents used to hold joint birthday parties when we were little. He is one of my very best buddies. Him and Carter that is.

This felt strange. He was telling me about me and I couldn’t dare let him know.

Carter came out of the store with a tray carrying 4 cokes with the straws already in them.

“Mitch and Lauren are best friends too, but I think that Lauren is Mitch’s girlfriend. Is that right Lauren?”

Lauren squeezed my arm. “I think the secret is out by now,” said Lauren. “Yes he is my boyfriend and I love him very much.”

She had never admitted that fact to anyone else before, but the things that had happened in the last couple of hours may have changed her attitude. We all took our cokes in our hands and took a drink.

“Mitch is a lucky little guy to have a pretty girlfriend like you,” said Warren. “What about you Sophie? Do you have a boyfriend?”

I nearly spat me coke out all over Carter’s sandals. This was getting weird. I tried to concoct some story to make myself seem less attractive to him.

“No I don’t Warren because my folks think I am too young to have a boyfriend. They would flip if they saw me out like this. I am not allowed to wear short skirts or make up when I am at my own house.” Lauren gave me the elbow in the side and started giggling.

“What’s so funny?” said Warren.

I realized how ridiculous that must have sounded to Lauren, so I kept it going. “It’s just that I have never had attention from boys like you before Warren. Honestly when I am at home I am just a little girl. The boys at home never look at me.”

“I can’t believe that,” said Warren.

Lauren had her head buried in her hands doubled over giggling at this point. Carter was laughing with us just because Lauren was laughing. Warren had no idea what was going on and I am very glad about that.

“It’s true,” I said. “My parents won’t let me get my ears pierced and hate it when I wear nail varnish.” Lauren was now spitting out her coke.

I felt a couple of laughter tears form in my eyes but I couldn’t stop yet. ‘When my Dad gets me home he will probable put me over his knee and spank me!”

Lauren was now punching me with the back of her hand on my shin to get me to stop. That was it. I couldn’t say any more because I was laughing too much.

Warren had a serious look on his face. “Your father, doesn’t hurt you does he?” using a protective tone.”

“Sophie is joking Warren,” said Lauren almost laughing as she talked while trying not spill any more Coke.

“Sophie is just a joker and she didn’t mean any of that. I was laughing because I knew she was being silly.”

“And your Dad is not going to spank you?” Warren said to me.

“No Warren he isn’t.” I said. “None of that stuff was true and I was just making a joke for Lauren. It’s just that my Dad hates to see me kissing boys.”

Lauren blew more coke out of her mouth and this time it did go onto Carter’s sandals and she dropped some on her pretty dress. She stood up and tried to brush the Coke off her dress. Carter stood up and tried to help her brush the coke off her dress too, but she stopped him.

“I can handle it Carter thank you,” she said. ”But we will have to go home now so I can change my dress.”

“Can we walk you home?” said Warren.”

“No thank you boys,” said Lauren firmly. “We will be quite alright by ourselves and we need to spend some time on our own before we get back to the house.” Obviously she had left no room for compromise with that answer.

I looked at Warren. He had a disappointed but resigned look on his face like we had not spent enough time together. I felt the same way. As he was so close I just reached across and put my left hand on the back of his then I kissed him on the cheek.

“Bye Warren it was nice to meet you,” I said.

Then without stopping I stood up and thought about kissing Carter, but he was way too tall, so I put my arms around his waist and gave him a hug. I could hardly get my arms around him because he was so big, not fat, just big. I laid my head against his chest for a moment and I felt his hand gently touch my back, then I let go of him.

“It was nice to meet you too Carter,” I said.

“Nice to meet you too,” the boys said almost together.

“How often do you come down this way Sophie?” said Warren. “Maybe we could meet up, you know, with you, Mitch and Lauren.”

That was an intriguing notion. “It’s rare that I make it down this way Warren. But if I do I will be sure to let you know.”

The boys looked a little sad as we said our goodbyes and walked quickly away. Lauren waited till we got away from the main road and started up the hill before she said anything.

“I can’t believe you.” said Lauren. “You have been a girl for two hours and you have your best friends Warren and Carter drooling all over you. I can’t believe the way you flirted with them.”

“I wasn’t trying to do anything.”

“Guess you are just a natural flirt,” she said. “And then you kissed Warren.”

“Only on the cheek!”

“But you still kissed him.” I couldn’t believe she was so upset. “My boyfriend kissing another boy right in front of me,” she said talking through clenched teeth.

“Would you rather I do it behind you back?”

“I would rather you not do it at all.” Now she was almost screaming. “This was supposed to be a fun thing between two girls. Just between you and me!”

“But I am a boy, remember.”

“Yes I know,” she said firmly, “But I don’t want anyone else to know. You are my boyfriend and I want you all to myself. I get the feeling that if you had the chance you would have kissed him on the mouth.”

I realized that I had to fight that one. I could never admit to my girlfriend that I wanted to kiss a boy on the mouth. That would be like saying I was gay.

“I was only pretending to be a girl because I was wearing a dress,” I said, wondering if I sounded convincing. “I would never kiss a boy on the mouth. I love you. You are my girlfriend forever.”

We were almost at the house. She got her keys out and we went inside. It was then that I noticed that she was crying. We fell into each others arms and she sobbed loudly for a short while. We were opposite the mirrors of the hall closet and I still couldn’t help myself from thinking how pretty and sexy we both looked. Two pretty girls with short skirts and long legs.

Lauren saw what I was doing and turned my face back to meet hers with a hand holding my chin.

“Please Mitch remember,” that was the first time I remember her using that name all afternoon.

“I want you to be ‘my’ sissy boy in a dress, ” she put a big emphasis on ‘my,’ “and don’t you ever let me see you flirting with boys.”

“And don’t you even think about kissing one on the lips. Your lips are for me only and don’t ever forget it.”

“I won’t Lauren, I promise,” knowing that was what I had to say, but still wondering what it would be like, and thinking that some day it would happen.

“You better remember. You wouldn’t want the whole school knowing that you are a sissy would you?” I didn’t believe that she was really meaning to threaten me but the implication was there.

Things calmed down a little after that. “I really do love you,” I said smiling at her. “I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that don’t you.

“I don’t think you will ever mean to hurt me for sure, but you have never had all or the warnings that my Mom has given me.”

I was holding her by the waist now and she had her hands in front of her grasping the tissue she had used to wipe her eyes. She was twisting from side to side and looked ridiculously cute. I guess she was a natural flirt too.

“I was totally shocked by the way you just became a little girl when Warren stood over you,” she said. “I became a little frightened that I might loose you, and I don’t ever want to feel that way again.”

“I am going to clean myself up a little and do something with this dress, so you go and make us some soft drinks then make yourself comfortable,” she instructed me. “We are going to have a little girl to girl talk.”

I didn’t know it could be like this. A story by Symphony Simms
I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 7.
Lauren and Sophie have a girl to girl talk.

---

I sat on the luxurious leather sofa and hugged myself. I felt so incredibly feminine it was hard to take in. The multiple sensations of stockings, high heels, a push up bra and a beautifully soft and sensual dress that exposed my legs and chest were wonderful.

I sat there with my arms crossed over my chest feeling my own tits and feeling very silly, enjoying the feminine sensation. I thought about our little outing to the post office and how it made me feel. I was very happy and relieved about what had gone on and I couldn’t help feeling pretty smug about myself.

Warren and Carter had believed I was a girl and would have kissed me if they had half a chance and that gave me a sense of accomplishment and a certain pride. I was, to them at least, a pretty girl.

Lauren came down the stairs looking her usual pretty self, but this time in a pale blue dress halter-top, a belt of the same material tied at the waist, the skirt finishing a couple of inched above the knee.

She seated herself on the coffee table in front of me while I was sitting on the big leather couch. She reached over and pulled my hands together between hers and rested them on my knee making me sit up just a little.

“Are you ready,” she said.

“I’m ready.”

“Just shut up and listen please Sophie because this isn’t easy.”

“OK,” I said feeling pleased that she still called me Sophie. There was a pause but I thought it best to keep my mouth shut till Lauren started her story or whatever it was.

“My mom has been giving me some advice over the years, stuff to do with the difference between boys and girls. Mom has a wonderfully gentle way of saying this stuff to me, because I am a girl, but because you are a different kind of girl, I am going to explain thing differently, like how a boy might understand it.”

“You mean a boy like me, who wear dresses?”

“Yes hopefully. Well, you know the old nursery rhyme that says girls are like sugar and spice and all things nice, and boys are like slugs and snails and puppy dog tails?”

“Yes,” I said, wondering where this was leading.

“Well it’s worse than that.”

Lauren shuffled around a bit trying to get comfortable on her perch, but I think it is the words that are uncomfortable to her.

“The way girls think is different to boys. Most girls want to be loved and have someone to take care or and be taken care of. They want to find that one special boy or man and hold onto them forever, and once they do find the one, they hardly notice other men.”

“A woman in love may look at another man and they notice them to be good looking, but they don’t vision them with their clothes off and think about having sex with them.”

“Do you think that’s what I do?”

“No I don’t, but that’s probably why you like wearing dresses, so shut up and let me finish. Most boys, or many boys I am not sure which, have one principle overriding driving force in their lives and in seems to effect almost everything they do.”

“And what is that?” I said thinking that I was going to hear something earth shattering.

“They want to find a woman, put their penis inside them and spread their seed. And it doesn’t stop there. When they have found a woman who lets them do it, they are not likely to be satisfied no matter how wonderful the woman is. They are likely to start looking at and lusting over any woman they see that is the slightest bit attractive.”

”Do you think all men are like that?”

“No of course not. Your dad is not like that and I don’t think my dad is. But there are lots of them around. Most boys start off that way but tend to grow out of it somewhat as they get older, but some men are like that all day every day.”

“Really,” I said. I was surprised. “I don’t think I am like that, and I don’t think I know anyone who is. But how do you tell?”

“That’s the tricky part. It’s very difficult to tell men apart when you first meet them. You have to get to know them, and even after you have known them for a long time and feel safe with them, they can surprise you and turn out to be an ass.”

“Do you think I could ever turn into an ass?”

“I don’t think so Mitch, but I think you have developed differently other boys. Warren and Carter are not the same as you.”

“Look at Warren today. He was all over you like fire blanket. If you had showed him any encouragement he would have had his tongue down your throat and his hand up your dress in seconds.”

“That would have been kind of awkward wouldn’t it?”

“You bet it would. Boys of that age can’t help themselves because they have not developed the self control that they get as they age. That is why women have to be the controlling force in any relationship. Men can’t be trusted to exercise control.”

“A boy like Warren will probably grow up to be a fine man and a wonderful husband to someone, but until he grows up he will continue to push and probe and pressure any pretty girl he sees until he either gets controlled by someone, or he gets to use his penis on someone.”

“I hadn’t realized that Warren was being like that to me,” I said, wondering what would have happened if Lauren was not there to help me.

“He was circling like a shark.”

“Do I ever circle you like a shark?”

“No silly. I have you under control, which is really easy because you are a pushover, which is fine if you are a boy, but I would fear for you if you were a girl.”

“So what you are saying is that I am fine because I am a boy, but I am different to Warren and Carter, so why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because you are dressed like a girl silly. You can’t believe how close Warren was to you. He was all over you and you had no hope of exercising and control over him. You were a lost cause as soon as he held you hand for the first time. If you were a girl in that situation and I wasn’t there, he could have got you in serious trouble. That is how teen pregnancies get started.”

“I get the picture. I can’t get pregnant but I could get found out, loose my best friends and be the laughing stock of the whole school.”

“Now I think you are getting the picture,” said Lauren. “Think control. If you are going to be a girl, you have to be in control.”

“But hold on,” I said. “I was only trying dresses on and you have got me from there to being in control of the boys I meet.”

“Yes but look at the big picture,” said Lauren now trying to force her point home. “You are a really pretty girl on the outside, even if you have something different than me between your legs. Boys are going to assume that you are fair game and play the same tricks on you that they would play on me, or any other girl who has had years of preparation.”

“You are just a novice at this. I have to teach you how to control the boys around you so that you can survive in this world. And you have to play your part and learn fast.”

“But hold on just a minute,” I said, thinking I might have something useful to say but I was by no means sure of it. “Today was the first ever day that I have worn a dress in public and who is to say I will ever do it again.”

“You haven’t figured that one out either have you?”

“What?” I said.

“OK it seems like I will have to tell you, but first you must understand that I love you dearly and always want to be with you. I want you to be the first thing I see in the morning and the last thing I see at night. I want to be with you when things happen that make you sad so I can comfort you and share your pain.”

“I want to be with you when you are happy so I can share your laughter. I want to be with you always so I can see how you turn out because I have a vested interest in you. You are the most important part of my life and have been for years.”

“But now I fear I am going to say something that may hurt you, and believe me I am sorry before I say it but it’s true.”

That was touching, but I feared that it was only said to prepare me for something that I wouldn’t like.

“What, tell me.”

“OK, here it comes.” She paused, but I don’t think it was for dramatic effect.

“You are a sissy boy. You have always been a sissy boy. You look and act like a girl even when you think you are acting like a boy. I have been hiding it from you for years hoping that you would realize it yourself. But that’s OK! I love you for it. My Mom loves you for it.”

“Miranda chose you as her babysitter because of it. Probably Warren likes you because of it but doesn’t realize it. He has been practicing his husband protector act on you for years. And we do not want you to change.”

‘Well shut the front door’ I said to myself. I thought I was an ordinary boy. I was dumbfounded. I was thinking for a moment that it couldn’t be true, but as I thought some more I realized that she had to be right. But what did it mean and how would my life change. I was sitting in front of my girlfriend Lauren and I was wearing a fabulous dress and make-up.

Was I surprised that Lauren thought I was s sissy. How could I be? Yes I thought to myself. I am a sissy boy, and I like it. The next thing I realized was that I was going to wear girl’s clothes a lot more.

“You OK,” said Lauren.

“Yeh I guess so. It kind of makes sense now I think about it. Do you think it means that I won’t get to play quarterback for the high school football team?”

“I can’t believe you can make jokes after what I just said to you. Don’t you feel anything?

“Sure I do. I feel like my whole world has turned up side down. I am not the average slugs and snails and puppy dog’s tails boy that I thought I was, but I am OK.”

“I have been woken up to understand the truth about myself. When you said I have always been a sissy boy I wanted to say ‘No I am not’, but I couldn’t make myself believe it. I have to accept that I am a sissy boy. How could I not?”

“Look at me. I am pretty am I not? I now think of my self differently than I did just a few minutes ago but there are lots of things that have not changed.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I knew I was never going to be a point guard.”

“What’s a point guard? Said Lauren.

“I don’t know but that’s what Carter is when he plays basketball.”

“And I always knew I was never going to be prom king,”

“But now you/I could get to be prom queen.” we both said together.

“See things aren’t that bad,” I said. “And I might get to wear that dress you got for your cousin’s wedding.”

At Miranda’s house.

Robert came in from his study to find Miranda sitting on the sofa watching Dr Phil, with April in her arms.

“Hey Honey,” he said sitting down beside her. She didn’t answer but he knew he had her full attention because she muted the TV. “You know that we have that security system that you never wanted, well it has turned up a little surprise.”

“Oh, what’s that dear?” she asked.

“Well it seems that when Mitchell was over here last night he brought a friend. A girl friend.”

“Oh yes. Anyone we know?”

“Well I was going to say Lauren but the hair is way too short.”

“Let me see,” said Miranda.

Robert picked up a couple of remotes and transferred the feed from his PC to the big flat screen. He had a camera (one of many) set up in the upstairs hallway above the door to April’s room so it could see everyone that came up the stairs and went into any of the bedrooms. He had it set with a motion detector so every time someone moved while they were out, the system recorded.

“See,” said Robert. “This is half an hour after we left. Mitch goes in to see April at 7:44. Then he goes into our bedroom at 7:47. Then at 8:27 a girl walks across to the bathroom, then a few minutes later she walks back. How is that? I didn’t see a girl anywhere else in the house.”

“I think there may be another reason,” said Miranda with an almost laughing grin on her face. “It’s Mitch.”

“Go on,” said Robert as he wound back the recording to get a still of the girl in the hall.

“It is you know. Same size, same hair color. Look at the shape of the face. It’s exactly the same.” said Miranda.

“Get out of town. I would never have believed it.”

“Of course you would, remember the discussion we had with Lauren and her Mom. Mitch just doesn’t have the macho gene in him. That’s why we let him baby-sit April.”

“Yes but I didn’t think he would find him dressing in women’s clothes.”

“You mean my clothes,” said Miranda.

“So what do we do? Are you going to fire him?”

“What for? He hasn’t hurt anyone.”

“But he’s been wearing your clothes. Don’t you think that’s a sign of some kind of perversion?”

“Remember that Halloween when you.”

He cut her off. “That was your idea.”

“Yes but I know you enjoyed it,” said Miranda with a huge smile on her face.

“Yes but he is wearing you clothes without your permission. Don’t you think he should be stopped?”

“Don’t be silly. It probably means he wants to be like me and enjoy wearing my cloths. I am flattered if that is the way he feels. It may be that he thinks he is really a girl born into the wrong body. I wouldn’t want to punish anybody for that. Anyway, I remember you told me you had a thing for cross dressers at one time.”

“I was hoping you would forget about that.”

“I never forget anything. Its part of how I control you. I save up everything in my memory till I need it, then when you think you can get away with something I bring out one of those fascinating little secrets to bring you back under control.”

“I’m sorry mistress. I will get back in my cage if you want me to,” said Robert jokingly.

“That’s OK Robert, you are still in my good books at the moment.”

“We are going to have fun with Mitch. He won’t understand what’s going on. He will be enjoying himself so much that he won’t know what hit him. We will turn him into the most delicious little sissy boy you have ever seen.”

“But isn’t he Lauren’s boyfriend.”

“Yes but Lauren and I are like sisters. She won’t mind sharing him with me. She told me she thought he was a sissy but he didn’t realize it yet. Between us we will show him the joys of dresses, corsets and high heels. It will be a team effort. And it’s not like we are going to hurt him. He is going to discover his real self and he will be eternally grateful.”

Later that afternoon Miranda receives a call from her boss asking her if she could attend a dinner for a new client that same night. One that Miranda would be managing when she returned to work after maternity leave. Miranda provisionally accepts knowing that she has found a good baby sitter in Mitch, and provided he was available, they would be able to attend.

She knew she had one or two old dresses in the closet that she could wear. Miranda phoned Mitch’s home but his mother explains he was planning to spend the day with Lauren.

The phone rang at Lauren’s house. Lauren answered it.

“Hi Miranda how are you, and how is Robert, and how is little April. It seems like forever since we saw you.”

There was a break while Lauren listened. “He is here with me.” She turned to ask me a question.

“You don’t have any plans for this evening do you?”

I shook my head. One of my clip-on earrings fell off. They were stinging anyway so I took the other off too.

“That’s settled then,” said Lauren. “We should be able to make it over there in an hour or so. I will have to call my parents but there won’t be a problem. Mitch will call his folks too. See you in an hour. Bye Miranda.”

She hung up and turned to me. “You will never guess. We are babysitting little April at Miranda’s house tonight. She wants us to go around as soon as we can, so we can eat together before she goes.”

“Wow,” I said. Then I decided to ask Lauren a question when I was not certain of the answer, but I knew the answer I wanted to hear. “Can we try on Miranda’s clothes together?” I asked.

“I don’t see how I can stop you now,” she said. “I have let you wear my clothes and I have told you how everyone knows you are a sissy boy. It would be silly of me to try and stop you now.”

“In fact, why don’t we just go around as you are now?” asked Lauren.

For a moment I considered it. It was a nice idea but!

“You know I can’t do that Lauren. You are the only person who knows my secret and I would like it to stay that way. I don’t know what I would do if anybody else found out. I would be mortified.”

As I said the word mortified I realized that it was not me who would me mortified but many of the people I know and love.

“Don’t worry little Sophie. Your secret is safe with me.”

I called my mother about me babysitting at Miranda’s house with Lauren but she knew all about it as Miranda had called earlier looking for me. She didn’t mind. Mom thought the world of Lauren and Miranda.

This was the second time in two days that I had spoken to my mother while dressed as a girl. I wondered when she would get to see me dressed as a girl. I know I couldn’t face that right now.

So with time running down, I turned my attention to becoming Mitch once more. I felt at that moment, that Mitch was a character I needed to become until I became my true self, that is to become Sophie once more.

I felt sad but elated that I had been out in the world as Sophie, a girl who did not exist until yesterday. The girl who did not have a name until today. The girl that lived inside me.

But I am still Mitch. I was very confused as there was a lot going on in my little head. Did I want to stay Sophie all of the time or was Sophie just a game to play with Lauren once in a while? That question could not be answered right now.

“So, my sweet little Sophie, I am afraid you are going to have to take those beautiful clothes off and put your boy clothes back on. Will that make you sad?”

“Yes it will,” I said, “but you are going to help me try some of Miranda’s clothes on later, so I don’t feel that bad. I think I will be OK for a couple of hours.”

I took Lauren’s clothes off and Lauren helped me take every bit of make-up off so no one could tell I had been wearing any. I put my boy’s clothes back on and realized how uncomfortable and boring they seemed after wearing girl’s clothes for the best part of the day, but I still felt really good about myself, because I knew something special.

Tonight I was going to be wearing some of Miranda’s clothes, and Lauren was going to help me.

I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms
I didn’t know. Chapter 8.
Lauren are Mitch go to Miranda’s house to babysit.

I felt kind of covered but undressed as we walked to Miranda’s house. I was wearing the same kind of cargo shorts and baggy tee shirt I had been wearing for years, but they seemed so unfulfilling. Lauren of course as a full time girl so she could wear beautiful clothes all the time and I was envious.

Her ginger blond curls rolled down over her shoulders and brushed against the pale sky blue of her dress. Her make-up was very light so I could see the freckles on her nose. She was a pretty young girl right now, but I knew she would be a fox later with the aid of Miranda’s closet, and I wanted to be a fox like her later too.

Tall trees shaded the entrance to Miranda’s driveway but the walkway to her front door was bathed in light and one could feel the afternoon heat rising from the dark stone of the pathway.

Miranda came to the door wearing a white lace edged tank top that left a strip of waist above a short off-white cotton tank top. Her top covered a white bikini under wire top that clearly defined the shape of her breasts. The space between top and skirt was taught, showing that this woman had worked hard to recover form the stresses of childbirth. I was left with no doubt about how great her figure was. It was all there in front of me.

Miranda hugged Lauren and they exchanges kisses and complements, then Miranda hugged me and told me how sweet I looked, her breast rested heavily against my chest and she kissed me on the cheek. I wanted to complement her but I could not find the words to describe the look she was portraying. “Nice outfit I said.”

“Thank you,” said Miranda. “Just lounging by the pool clothes. Come through. Either of you two interested in a swim?”

“You bet,” said Lauren bouncing off to the changing room. I followed Miranda out to the pool area where Robert was holding April in the water. We exchanged pleasantries. I noticed he was well conditioned too. He looked a lot slimmer now than he looked in his business suit. I could see the sinews of his muscles ripple as he moved. His body was hairless.

”Hope you two completed your homework this morning Mitch, and exactly how long have you two being doing your homework together anyway?” Miranda asked.

“Of course we did. Lauren had it mostly completed before I got there. I guess we have been sharing our homework just about as long as we have known each other. We were both quiet and shy when we met in the classroom, but she seemed to understand me from the start,” I said sitting myself on the edge of the seat beside hers.

“Did you always think she was pretty Mitch?”

“When I was young I thought that is what pretty was, to look like Lauren. She was the one girl always wearing a pretty a dress. I was always pleased to go to school because Lauren was there, her smile and her freckles were always a welcome sight and she was always pleased to see me.

As we got older we realized that we could communicate easily together where other kids our age just didn’t seem to understand what we were talking about. I remember thinking this is what it must be like to have a sister and wanted to have her come live with me. The happiest times of my life were always with Lauren.”

“That’s sweet,” said Miranda. “How long have you considered each other boyfriend and girlfriend?”

“Well we have used that expression for many years because the kids in class have been saying it for years, but until recently I thought Lauren was just a young girl and I was a young boy, too young for dating and that kind of stuff.”

“So what happened recently?”

“Lauren took her glasses off and started wearing make up. When I saw her that way for the first time I realized that she had become a young woman, and I felt find of embarrassed that I had never noticed before. It was then that I realized that I wanted to kiss her, and then one day last week, Lauren kissed me.”

“And how hid you feel about that Mitch?”

“It was wonderful and I was very happy. Lauren is a very good kisser.”

I didn’t know that Lauren had walked up behind me. She placed her hands on my shoulders from behind and kissed me on the cheek. “Why thank you Mitch that is very sweet. One of these days I might let you kiss me again.”

“One of these days!” I said, “that does not sound exactly imminent.”

“I think you will find that lashings of complements mingled with heaps of praise tends to work wonders,” said Miranda.

“Oh I guess, it was when she kissed me that I discovered that I loved her madly and could never do without her," I added.

“Oh he is good,” said Miranda.

“He is very wonderful and he is my best friend in the world,” said Lauren. “Are you coming in for a swim Mitch?”

“You bet.”

Lauren was wearing a black bikini with straps that went from between her breasts around her neck. I was glad to see her striking young body again, even though it was only earlier that day that I had seen it before.

I went off to the pool room to find some shorts and get changed. Lauren’s dress and panties were hung over the chair just like Miranda’s were a couple of days ago. As I rested my hand on the dress and fingered her panties, I got a tingle down below and felt the urge to put them on, but thought better of it because of what I might happen later. I found some swimming red shorts and joined Lauren the pool.

Lauren and I played catch ball for a few minutes. The game was more like throw the ball at each other to splash each other as much as possible. It was during this game that Robert came over to join in and I bumped into him. It was like hitting a brick wall. There was no give in him at all. He was solid as a rock and obviously very powerful.

He picked me up out of the water placing his hands either side of my waist and lifting me. I felt totally powerless and that he could do anything he wanted to me and I couldn’t do anything about it, but strangely it didn’t feel uncomfortable. He put me back into the water.

“You are only a little guy aren’t you Mitch,” he said. “I guess you and Lauren are just about the same size. Still, boys generally get a spurt of growth from your age through 18 as your male hormones kick in the hardest.”

“My Mom and Dad have been telling me that will happen soon,” I said, “but nothing much has happened yet.”

“It will,” he said. “It may be a little late starting for you, but just wait till the testosterone takes hold, everything will change. Your shoulders will broaden, the hair on your chin will come out, your adams apple will get bigger and your jaw line will square itself up.”

‘Yuck’ I thought to myself. If that happens I won’t be able to wear Miranda’s or Lauren’s clothes. The three of us continued to play in the pool for a little while, but I was honestly disturbed by what Robert had said to me.

I had visions of a skinny boy with broad shoulders, a big chin and hair on his face wearing a dress. It was horrible. I may have only worn a dress a couple of times but I could not imagine ever giving it up. I had felt more alive in the last two days than I had ever been and I wanted that feeling again.

“OK you guys,” exclaimed Miranda standing above us by the pool side. “April will need feeding soon and I feel a little hungry myself. I am going inside now so please get ready to eat. Food will be ready in about 15 minutes. Lauren why don’t you get ready first then you can help me with April ?”

“I am not changing any diapers,” Lauren said as she go out of the pool, wrapped a towel around herself and followed Miranda into the house, leaving just me and Robert in the pool.

Robert pulled himself out of the pool and sat with his feet dangling in the water. He was not heavy but his muscles were very well defined. I doubt there was an ounce of fat on him. He had to work out really hard to get a figure like that.

Robert started talking first. “So what do you want to do when you finish school or college Mitch?”

“I haven’t given it any thought,” I said. “I have lots of time before I graduate high school so I don’t have to make decisions yet.”

“But don’t you have any idea what it might be.” I shrugged my shoulders. “Is there anyone you have met who sounds like they have an interesting job?”

“Well my Dad manages a garden center, but I am not interested in gardens. Mom works part time there too. I don’t really know what any of my friends parents do. Do I sound childish when I say things like that because I really don’t know much of anything outside my own family friends and school world?”

“Not at all,” said Robert. “At fifteen some people know what they want but many people don’t. I didn’t know what I wanted to do until I was half way through university.”

“That sounds strange,” I said. “So how did you decide what to take in university if you didn’t know what you wanted to be?”

“Knew I wanted to wear nice clothes and travel, so I took liberal arts, sort of a general degree thinking that while I worked my way through it I would decide on a path and change subjects.”

“So what did you end up doing?” I asked.

“I became a male model and still am. The degree was irrelevant actually, but I am glad I completed it. It has equipped me to develop into management positions when I get older. Modeling was where I met Miranda.”

“A model, wow! I never thought that I would ever meet a male model.”

“Miranda was a model too, before she moved up in the world.”

“Oh yeh she told me. It sounds like Miranda has a good job. Looking after the models, clothing them and making arrangements for them etc. I might like to try that.”

“Is that what she told you?”

“Why? Is that not what she does?”

“Not exactly. She is an account manager for the modeling agency. She finds work for the models to do then she makes sure everything goes well. She makes sure that she knows every part of the work that the company does.

At the moment she is taking a part time course on professional make up just because she want to be able to tell the make up artists how to do their work. She has some of the biggest clients in the company and is.” He stopped mid sentence.

“Lets just say that she is very popular with the management because she is able to make things happen. She ensures everything is under control and has a gift for getting her way.”

“So do you work for her?”

“Sometimes I do and sometimes I work for other managers too. You are very sharp for a young person who doesn’t know where you are going in life. Don’t you have any direction that you would like to go?”

“Honest, I just haven’t thought about it yet. I get busy watching TV, playing video games and hanging out with Lauren and my other friends. I suppose you could say I am just drifting along waiting for something to spark my interest. Modeling sounds interesting though. You must travel a lot and meet lots of beautiful people.”

“Yes there is that side of it. My frequent flier account is very healthy, but I don’t think you have the right build to be a model at the moment. When you get through your teen male growth spurt you may well be a good candidate.”

There goes that subject again. I really didn’t like the sound of it.

“But Lauren, she could be a model right now. She has a perfect young figure. At five feet five she is a little small but she is perfectly in proportion for a female teen model.”

“Really,” I said. “Have you told her that you think she could be a model?”

“No we haven’t and don’t you say anything. Her parents don’t want her to be a model just yet because they don’t want to spoil her childhood by making her grow up too soon, but I believe they may talk to her about it soon. They know she is a very smart young woman who will not let the situation go to her head.”

Incredible I thought to myself. It was only a couple of hours ago I had my hand inside her panties.

“I always thought she was the prettiest girl in the school, but I had no idea other people thought that way.”

“It is a family trait Mitch,” said Robert. “All of the Martini women are beautiful. Miranda and her mother, Lauren and her mother, they are all very beautiful and similar in their looks. You would be astounded if you saw them together. You should ask Miranda, she has photographs to prove it.”

Just then Miranda called from the patio window. “Come in you two. We have food ready.” So I headed for the changing room and found Robert had followed me in. I dried off and put my clothes back on while in the corner while facing the wall.

I could be wrong but I felt that that Robert was watching me as I changed. I am not funny about getting changed in front of people as I do it all the time at school, but I could feel his eyes on me. I just carried on and got changed as fast as I could. Robert had his pants on when I turned around so I just walked past him without looking at him.

Miranda, Lauren and April were seated around the kitchen table. Lauren and Miranda were passing salad bowls to each other and filling their plates with various different interesting looking foods.

“I hope you don’t mind eating healthy,” said Miranda. “I have prepared a vegetarian feast for us this evening. Try a little of everything, I am sure you will like it.”

“You are not a vegetarian family are you Miranda? You ate Pepperoni Pizza with me last week.”

“Oh no we are not vegetarians, but we understand the value of eating healthy. I still have a few pounds to lose so when I get back to work I don’t feel inadequate against all of those skinny models I will be dealing with.”

I thought that was a good opportunity to slip in a complement. “I can’t imagine you being inadequate against any woman,” I said trying to sound positive.

“That sweet of you,” said Miranda. “But you haven’t seen any of those young models up close. They are selected from far and wide to be the most beautiful and attractive around.”

“I can’t imagine them being prettier than Lauren and you Miranda.” I said, knowing that she enjoyed complements and I was finding that I enjoyed giving them.

“I will never tire of hearing those type of complements Mitch, but seriously, loosing a few pounds will make me feel a lot stronger when I have to deal with a bratty little 99 pound cutie who thinks she is gods gift to young men.

I also want the magazine owners and advertisers I deal with to see me as every bit as attractive as the models. It is part of the image I try to project. Everyone around me is beautiful, so my clients know that when I bring models for work on their behalf, those models will be most beautiful available. Which brings me to some other interesting news.”

While Miranda was talking Robert had joined us and we were all enjoying the food that Miranda had prepared. He was wearing a plain white T that only just fitted him with black jeans and a pair of sandals. He looked every bit a striking male model at that moment.

The food was similar to what my Mom prepared for some of our meals, but Miranda had added spices and herbs that I was not accustomed too, but I was really enjoying the food and being in their company.

Miranda continued. “I have persuaded my bosses that I have, in this house and gardens, the perfect location for some of the photo shoots that our clients demand, and it is close enough to the Laguna beaches to be a base for modeling shoots in this area, rather than using the downtown LA headquarters. And I will be able to arrange it so I can spend plenty of time with April instead of having her looked after by a full time nanny.

We have made an arrangement that will be good for everybody. But some big changes will have to be made, and this house will be changing and expanding.”

“So you will be having models here to do photo shoots?” Lauren asked.

“That’s right, but before that can happen we need to add an indoor studio that will go behind the garage. That piece of ground isn’t used at the moment and using it won’t change the main house around much. The studio will have its own entrance around the side of the house past the garages.”

“Sounds interesting,” I said. “When do you start building?”

“Within the next week.” Robert answered, which to me suggested that he was the man and consequently he looked after the building aspect of the project “We have had plans in the approval stages for months but did not want to tell anyone until the first client was confirmed. That is why we are going out this evening as a celebration with our new clients.”

Miranda continued. “And I am going to ask you, Lauren to help me with a little task I am hoping you will enjoy. Because this new client is associated with one of the one of the most influential ladies clothing houses, I will have to start acquiring lots of their clothes for me to wear while working on their work as a kind of internal advertising. This will mean that I must make space in my closet upstairs.”

Robert interrupted. “Thank you for the beautiful food Miranda, and please excuse me Mitch and Lauren but I have to do some work in my office.” Robert kissed Miranda and April then left the four of us to finish our meals. We continued talking about Miranda’s closet.

“Lauren I am expecting you to have a good sort through my closet and take anything you feel you could make use of. The whole far end of the closet is full of clothes that I have not seen for a couple of years and I know I will never fit into any of them again. You could take some for some of your girlfriends if you think any of them would appreciate it.”

Then I realized what she was saying. Help yourself to the clothes in my closet and give some to your friends. My mouth must have dropped. Suddenly I was trying to figure out what things I could take and where I could keep them.

“We can go up after we have eaten so you can take a good look. I have made a divider with some ribbon to show you the things I want to keep, then you can take whatever you want from the rest.”

I knew that Miranda was not talking to me, but I knew that Lauren might only want a few of Miranda’s things because her closet was full as it is and that there would be plenty of nice dresses left for me. I had to rearrange myself to allow for the growing erection.

Lauren was talking now. “What about your giant shoe collection Miranda. Do you want to get rid of any of your shoes?”

“Same there,” said Miranda. “I have already laid out about thirty pairs of shoes in the adjacent bedroom that need to go. I have also spoken with your mother and she understands that these clothes are not cast offs or worn out. Most of them have only been worn once or twice and some you will find with the tags still on. Most of the brand new ones you will find in the adjacent bedroom closet.”

I was in awe. I had seen Miranda’s closet only last night and it was huge. Now she was saying that she had even more clothes spread out in adjacent rooms.

“Now I must tell you,” Miranda continued, “that the dressers in my room are full of clothes and underwear that I use now, but all of the underwear etc, in the closet is available if you want it.”

“Thanks Miranda I will have a really good look later.” Said Lauren.

“But why don’t you come back another day to look at clothes Lauren. Surely Mitch you would be bored if you have to spend your time looking at girl’s clothes.”

“Don’t worry Miranda,” said Lauren. “Mitch loves to do anything as long as he is with me, and he will love to see me trying on your beautiful dresses and modeling them for him. He won’t be bored.”

She was right, I would not be bored, but that is because I would be trying Miranda’s clothes on too.

I could feel myself blushing as they both smiled at me. It felt like Lauren was wondering what I would look like in Miranda’s clothes and Miranda was wondering if I would like to wear her clothes too. This was getting a little uncomfortable so I tried to distract attention.

“Why are you looking at me?” I said.

“Sorry Mitch,” said Miranda. “I was deep in thought. I had better get these things cleaned up. I have a party to go to.”

Lauren said she would clean up the kitchen and volunteered my assistance while Miranda put April to bed and she got ready to go out. Miranda disappeared up the stairs with April so Lauren and I started working on the dishes.

“You’re not thinking of taking any are you?” said Lauren.

“What?” I said.

“The clothes silly!”

“Hadn’t thought about it,” I said, wondering if she would call my bluff.

She put her hand in the bowl of water on the counter and flicked it at me. “You are lying. Your mouth was so wide open when Miranda was talking I am surprised she didn’t notice. I bet you are planning where you are going to put them already and when you can wear them.”

“So,” I said. “A boy can dream can’t he?”

“Anyway,” said Lauren. “I didn’t say I was going to let you have any of them.”

“But Miranda said you could give some away to your friends didn’t she. I am your friend aren’t I?”

“You are so easy,” said Lauren. “Of course I will let you have some, but I will make a deal with you. Any dress I let you keep you have to model it for me outside by the pool so I can get the full dramatic effect. I will take a couple of pictures on my phone to keep as a memento.”

“Are you sure that is wise? Couldn’t someone find the pictures?”

”Nobody ever looks at my phone. Anyway all they would see is a pretty girl in a dress.”

Miranda called from the top of the stairs. “Lauren, could you help me a minute?”

We both headed up the stairs and into Miranda’s bedroom. She was wearing a beautiful black evening gown with a variable length hem starting a little above the knee at one side and a split to the side exposing a billowing layer of red taffeta. When you looked at her head on from distance, you could see the red taffeta in layers below the hem of her skirt.

She was wearing a magnificent sparkling necklace of red and black and showing ample amounts of cleavage. Her make up was heavenly but conservative, almost like she was not wearing any, but I knew she was because her eyes looked bigger and her coloring was amazing. “Lauren, could you help me with these straps a moment please,” she said taking no notice of me at all. “Open the middle draw of that dresser and on the right hand side you will find some clips to hold these straps in place.”

My eyes followed Lauren across to the dresser that was close behind me and into the drawer as she opened it. For a moment I couldn’t understand what I was seeing. They looked like mounds of flesh colored things arranged in pairs of different sizes. They were breast forms. My jaw dropped again.

“You look a little surprised to see those Mitch,” said Miranda looking at me while Lauren worked on Miranda’s bra strap.”

I didn’t have any words ready to pop out at that time, I had to create something, but my brain was filled with visions of tits and how they would look attached to my chest.

“Surely you don’t need those Miranda,” I said.

“Well I did at one time,” she said, “but I don’t need them now. I haven’t figured out what to do with them yet. I am just going to keep them here for now because they are very expensive, and I am sure that I will find a use for them.”

I wanted to ask if I could have them, but I thought that may not go down too well.

“Keep them for your young models! I am sure they will find a use for them,” I said. Then at least I knew I could get to use them when I baby-sat.

“Wonderful Lauren, thank you so much, now its time to get going.” Miranda crossed the room to pick up her purse from the dresser. She turned, posed and looked to us for approval. She was wearing long dangling earrings and her shoes, purse and bracelets all had the same sparkling red, black and diamond motif. She looked like a red carpet movie star.

“You look amazing,” said Lauren and I nodded my head in agreement. “No one there will hold a candle to you.”

“Remember the room will be full of young models,” said Miranda.

“But they won’t have your style.” I said.

“He is good,” said Miranda to Lauren. “You should keep hold of him. Now let’s have a look in the closet while you are here.”

Miranda walked down the full length of her closet, turned towards us and rested upon the shelf that her wigs were resting on. It was then that I realized that I probably should not have followed them in because it would show that I am overly interested in women’s clothes, but it was too late now. Miranda looked at me a little funny for a brief moment then returned to her instruction.

“Lauren I am keeping everything from the ribbons to the door and everything in my room. You can have anything from here back,” she said showing us the ribbon on the floor and tied to the closet rails.

“You can have anything in the next bedroom, including things that have never been worn, provided you take them from the right place. But please don’t take anything on my side of the ribbon as I have made plans for them.”

“What about all of this stuff?” asked Lauren pointing to the wigs and drawers full of underwear?

”It’s all up for grabs Lauren. If it’s missing tomorrow then I have more space for my new clothes next week. I will give you a couple of weeks to take what you want then the rest will go to the homeless people. There are boxes and shopping bags on the top shelves you can use to take them.”

I was brushing the beautiful dresses with the back of my hand when Miranda put her arm around me and spoke gently into my ear. “Get Lauren to model them all for you. I think many of them will fit her just fine.”

We could hear the sound of a car horn coming from the front door. “That sounds like our ride,” said Lauren and she headed for the doorway. We followed her across her room and into the hallway.

She turned to us before descending the curved staircase towards the front door. “We plan to leave the party at 10:30 or as soon as we can after that, meaning that we should be home at between 11:15 and midnight. Please ensure you use the cctv to check out visitors before you let them in, and nobody comes in who isn’t family. Got it you two?”

“Yes Miranda,” we said in unison.

“Our cell numbers are by the phone but if you have concerns with April or anything else please call one of your mothers. They will be expecting you.”

Robert was waiting at the foot of the stairs in a stunningly sharp dark grey evening suit, dark shirt and red tie to match Miranda’s jewelry. He looked very handsome and attentive as Miranda walked down the stairs towards him.

“Wonderful, absolutely stunning,” said Robert taking hand and raising it to his waiting lips where he kissed the inside of her palm.

“Mitch, I hope you are taking notes,” she said without taking her eyes off her husband.

“I am ready dear,” she said to Robert staring demurely into his eyes, and the pair gracefully floated out through the open doorway, closing the door behind them and into the waiting limo.”

We watched them go, through the stained glass windows above the doorway. I remember thinking what a wonderfully beautiful couple they make. It was a pleasure to know them.

Lauren took my forearm with her two hands and held it against her stomach while looking into my eyes.

“We are alone now,” said Lauren. “What would you like to do?”

I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms

I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 9.

Lauren dresses Sophia in Miranda's clothes.

We were alone in Miranda’s house. I was alone in Miranda’s house only yesterday but that seemed like half a lifetime away. So much had happened since then. I tried to think of the best thing to do to start the evening off on the right foot, so I decided that I should kiss Lauren.

She was standing at the top of the stairs looking every inch the picture of young beauty that I had always known her to be, only now without her glasses, she looked like she really needed to be kissed.

She turned to me and began to flash her sparkling green eyes at me. She bent one knee in toward the other and placed her hands on her hips and looked at me like she was saying ‘wouldn’t you like to know what I’m thinking’.

I took her right hand and brought it up to my lips where I kissed on the palm. I pretended it was her lips so I closed my eyes and launched myself into it, even using my tongue. She shivered but she did not pull away. I tried to pull her closer to me but she turned around, grabbing my hand and dragged me skipping toward the bathroom.

“You will shower, condition, scrub and feminize every inch of your pretty body young lady, for it is not me who will model all of the clothes for you, but you who will model them for me.” And she pushed me into the bathroom and closed the door but then she opened it again.

“Do not lock it,” she said, “as I will bring you some undergarments to put on before you can come into the bedroom to dress.”

I just decided to do as I was told. There was no way I was going to argue with that instruction. I showered and washed and conditioned my hair with the products that Miranda had left their. They were made by Revlon and were so sweet and sensual and feminine smelling that no self respecting man would normally ever use them, but they where just what I needed.

I then scrubbed with skin defoliant leaving myself all tingly clean all over. I even scrubbed my nails before I got out of the shower. Lauren was waiting for me with a towel. She looked away while I stepped out to save my modesty.

“I have brought you some different panties to try on,” she said. “I consider them to be on the tight side but that is what I expect that you need, with you having extra parts that a girl wouldn’t normally have, but we have to ensure all of your parts are under control. I also have brought you a panty liner so you can keep yourself sanitary down there.”

I finished drying myself and tried on the first pair of panties, which were pink and see through. They were also very tight and would cut the circulation off to my legs if I wore them for long. The second pair were white and made from a light spandex type material that was much better for me.

I could imagine these protecting me all night without problems. They were not a sexy as the first pair but a compromise was in order to ensure security. They were low at the front but high at the back so my stomach was partially exposed. They were definitely better than using full control panties. I added the panty liner and put them back on ensuring that all my naughty bits would remain in place and unspoiled.

Lauren returned to the bathroom and the sight I saw when I turned around totally shocked me. Lauren was wearing a full length white corset making her already slim waist tiny and her tits looked like they had grown two sizes and were overflowing the top of her bra.

She looked gorgeous, but what was equally astounding to me was that she was holding her hands out towards me and in her hands was a large pair of tits.

“These are for you,” she said through her beaming smile. She could not be enjoying this any better.

“Wow,” I said out loud. “Aren’t they too big for me?”

“Not at all,” she said. “These are a ‘C’ cup. Totally in line with a woman your size. I am wearing enhancers that turn me into a small ‘C’ cup too. They might feel a little heavy when you put them on, but you will find you get used to them very quickly.”

“They will change your outlook on life I can assure you and you will love it. I can’t believe that Miranda has such an amazing range of breast enhancers and breast forms. I have no idea what she needs them all for. It must be something to do with her modeling work.”

I had been able to control my urges to that point but at that moment I felt an added weight inside my panties as blood rushed to my penis, but the elasticity within the panties held firm and I felt confident there would be no accidents.

Lauren placed the tits into my hands. I guess I should be calling the breast forms but tits sounds so much more exciting because I am still a 15 year old boy. They did have a considerable weight to them. I mean they would not break my foot if I dropped them. I thought about when my Mom asked me to get a pound of butter from the fridge, they were a little heavier than that. I couldn’t wait to feel them against my skin, but when I held them to me they were a little cool. Lauren noticed my disappointment.

“They will warm to your body remember. Just like this morning. Now I am going to apply some temporary glue on the back where they will contact your skin. It will wash off later but this is going to show you how if feels.”

She applied the glue sparingly to one of them then carefully placed the breast to my chest, being careful to line up the nipples. She held it in place for a couple of seconds then let go.

I could instantly feel the weight pulling down on my skin. I twisted myself suddenly to one side just a little to see if it wobbled like a real breast. It did.

“OK now the other,” said Lauren. Again she placed, then held and let go of my breast. Two matching beauties stood out in front of me. They were beautiful. I moved over to see myself in the mirror and apart from the subtle change in color, they looked real. What I saw in the mirror looked positively female and I had hardly started getting ready. I was beside myself with joy. I knew tonight was going to be something very special.

Next we applied a primer then to my face and chest. Lauren also got me to continue down over my new additions so it would partially, but not completely disguise the join.

“This is Miranda’s make up,” said Lauren. “I think this is a professional brand that has better coverage than mine or Moms. I think you will be very pleased with the results.”

Looking down on my breast I could see the join because I knew where it was, but looking in the mirror across the hall there was no step, just my skin extending out to my nipples a couple of inches from where they used to be and the nipples were larger.

After ensuring complete and even coverage with the primer, a layer of foundation was added. Lauren had me wash my hands then she led me into Miranda’s bedroom the straight into the closet.

“We are going to find you a corset like mine,” she said. “There are so many here we are bound to find one that fits you perfectly. We are looking for a 34C so see what we can find.”

I looked and found two that were 34C corsets that I really wanted to feel one against my skin. One was white and made of a stretchy material with a little boning at the front. The other was black and seemed to have lots of boning. I placed a black one against me. It was covered in what I presume to be silk all over with tiny lace trim around the edges. It felt wonderful and form fitting against my front, covering the lower part of my breast and reaching to a couple of inches below my navel.”

That looks like a good fit,” said Lauren. “Turn around and I will fasten it for you.”

I was assuming that fasteners at the back would just clip in place and I would be done, but I was very wrong. Lauren fastened the top couple of fasteners easily, but then she fastened the laces and pulled to bring my figure in at the waist before she could fasten the lower fasteners.

It took quite some time for her to push and pull me so that the laces could tighten and the fasteners could be closed all the way down. I was quite breathless when she had finished but I felt and immediate difference in my posture, and when I looked down at my breast they stood out like beacons. I ran my hands down the soft silk of the corset and felt the phenomenal difference in my shape. I went in at the waist and smoothly out again to the hips, obviously helped be the boning in the corset and the tightness of the material.

“Can I look,” I said.

“Let’s just try this first,” she said. She took one of the long haired wavy blond wigs from its stand and showed me how to put it on by bending down till my head was as low as possible, which was not easy now that I could not bend much at the waist.

Placing my head in the wig so that none of the hair gets inside before standing up and ensuring that everything was in place. I stood up and the soft and delicious hair fell about my shoulders and back giving me the most heavenly sensation. Lauren then helped me put on a pair of high heeled black pumps of about 4” high before leading me out to look in the mirror so I could take a look.

‘“Oh my god,’ I said to my self as I stepped in front of the mirror. 110% percent woman is all I could see as me knees buckled and I had to hold onto Lauren for support. The big hair stood on top of everything almost obscuring my face but those tits held in that black bra of the corset stood out like headlights at night.

The black corset gave that heavenly shaped woman in front of me the most beautiful transition from chest to narrow waist and back out to those sensational hips. OK the white panties did not quite go but the shape from stomach down into the pelvic area was very sexy, and those long skinny but shapely legs looked phenomenal in those heels. There wasn’t a man alive who wouldn’t believe that he was looking at a high priestess of female strippers half way through her routine.

My penis felt like it was bursting to get out of its prison and it felt like every fiber of my panty liner was massaging me and sending little jolts of electricity throughout my pelvic area. A wetness developed between my legs, but I did not let go. The sensations I felt were incredible but I refused to let them take me over the top. I fought to gain control of my emotions.

“We are not done yet,” said Lauren. “Pull yourself together girl we have a long way to go before you leave this room and give me a fashion show by the pool.”

I kept holding on to Lauren as she led me to the chair in front of Miranda’s dressing table and I sat down. I had trouble composing myself so I placed my hands on my knees and looked down towards my feet. Soft blond hair fell around my face as I could see cleavage and tits surrounded by layers of lace and silk. Looking past my knees I could see the straps of my shoes as they wrapped around my feet and ankles.

Lauren hugged my head to her waist. I was breathing heavily and the stress of seeing myself as such an unequivocally sexy creature was subsiding and the shock waves were less intense, but the difference between what I was 3 days ago and what I had seen just now were astonishing.

Until recently I thought I was just an ordinary boy. I didn’t know it could be like this.

It took a while, and Lauren was very patient with me till I finally snapped out of my trance. I took a deep breath, opened my eyes and lifted my head.

“Are you alright,” said Lauren. “I thought I was going to lose you for a minute. What was going on inside your head for the last few moments.”

“It was a shock,” I said. “Seeing that woman in the black corset was unbelievable. I couldn’t believe it was me, but I knew that it was. I just couldn’t reconcile the truth about me being a boy with the reality of something so feminine front of me and the woman I could feel when I looked downwards or touched myself.”

“Are your pants wet,” said Lauren, not knowing weather I would be upset by her question or not.

“No I am only a little damp, but thanks for asking. The event was partially sexual but mostly sensual in the way it affected me. It was a reality shock, seeing myself looking oh so sexy just didn’t fit with the way I saw myself, but I think I am over it now. I used to be an ordinary boy but I morphed into a butterfly.”

“So why are you so shocked tonight when this morning you were not.”

“I was shocked this morning believe me, but I think it is magnitude of the change. This morning we both looked something like how you normally look, a pretty young teenager, but what you just showed me. That the woman in the mirror looks so much older and mature, like she could teach me a thing or two. That image belongs to a woman in her twenties.”

“Well we are now going to try to complete that look my darling Sophia and then we are going to get you into some of those fabulous dresses.”

I just couldn’t wait. Lauren stated working on my hair to settle it down a little. She quickly had it under control with a few sweeps of the hairbrush. She told me It was a beautiful classic blond style parted in the middle with big waves down turning in and under just below my shoulders. In that wig I didn’t need makeup to look sexy. But before she did my makeup, she tied my hair back a little so it wouldn’t get in the way.

“I am going to go a little bit overboard with your eye makeup because models always wear lots of makeup, and that is what you are going to be tonight, a fashion model, only with bigger breasts. Regular young fashion models are all flat chested, but we know real men don’t go for flat chested women don’t we Sophie?” Lauren said as she worked on my face.

She lined in my eyebrows and added lots of mascara then began adding lots of black eye shadow over and outside of my eyes working with a little sponge to smooth out the darkness and allow it to fade into the other shades. Then she added a pale gray color above my eyes but below the eyebrows and blended the colors together so they transitioned evenly. It was very striking. Lauren had arranged our seats so I could see more of what she was doing and she was also describing every step as she went along so I could learn how to do it myself.

A little blush on the cheeks, smoothed out with a brush ensuring that both sides were equal. Then it was my job to do my lips. Lauren gave me a lip liner and lipstick in a very pale pink, unlike what I would have chosen, but it was very effective with my now pale golden blonde hair. After the lipstick I put lip-gloss over everything making my lips shine like glass. It was unbelievably sexy knowing that it was me looking like that, exactly like a model from a girl’s magazine.

“I wish you had pierced ears Sophie,” said Lauren. “You would look so good with a set of long dangling earrings right now. You will just have to use these little pearl clip-ons till we get you some of your own. You know that Miranda has everything that you need to make you into the most fabulous looking girl, but I have no idea why she has all of this stuff that she just doesn’t need. Why would Miranda have a tray of clip on earrings here on top of her dressing table when everyone I know that would come in here has pierced ears? Even Robert has pierced ears.”

“I didn’t notice that Robert’s ears were pierced,” I said, “but he is a model. I bet all male models get their ears pierced.”

“That’s OK I guess, but why does Miranda have clip on earrings on her dressing table? I am going to ask her later because I just can’t figure that one out.”

“I don’t care,” I said, “I am just glad she does, because no self respecting girl ever goes to a fashion show without her earrings. It just wouldn’t be right.”

“Now for a little nail polish. You won’t look right without it, but just remember to take it off later.

“Everything has to come off one time or another darling,” I said trying one of my girly pouts on Lauren.

“You are such a sissy!” Lauren said to me. “And you are such a natural looking girl, I don’t know how you got this far without realizing it.”

“I may be a late starter,” I said, “but I feel like I am making up for it today. First in your clothes and now in Miranda’s. I must have died and gone to sissy heaven.”

“Sophie darling. Next time you find a dictionary look up the word epicurean for me. I really think it suits you. Now let’s get your hair fixed and get you into one of those wonderful dresses.”

I stood up and looked at myself in the dresser mirror. The effect was striking. A partially dressed model was standing in front of me. Long legs, killer slim body inside a black corset with a tiny waist, big bazooka breasts, fantastic face and knockout blonde hair. It felt fabulous.

A wave of pleasure drifted through my lower body and back out again making me shiver all over. I wanted to put my hand between my legs and grab myself, but I didn’t want to spoil the view. The girl in the mirror wouldn’t have grabbed herself so neither should I.

Lauren grabbed my hand and led me into Miranda’s closet. “Can I wear some stockings,” I said to Lauren.

“Of course you can Sophie, I forgot that you liked them. I like to go without stockings as much as I can, but of course you can wear them.”

We looked in the stocking draws at the far end of the closet and Lauren pulled out a pair of dark tan stockings with a pattern around the top.

“Stay-ups,” she said. “You can wear these without a suspender belt. I am sure you will love them.”

I sat down on the stool, removed my black pumps and started to put the stockings on. They were fabulously silky and waves of pleasure ran up my legs as I pulled them ever so carefully into position one by one, a little at a time being careful not to damage the delicate silky material.

They were the perfect size to reach just an inch or two below crotch level. I could feel the clingy silicone material holding fast to my legs so the stockings would not fall down. I ran my hands up and down the inside and outside of my legs just to give myself an extra set of pleasure shivers.

“OK let’s find some dresses to wear,” said Lauren. I am going to try this silver one and you should try this bright red one.”

She held this little piece of cloth against me. There was hardly anything of it except for the chest area where it was shaped and stiffened. It was a wonderful vibrant color. Lauren took it from the hanger, pulled the back zipper down and readied it for me to put on.

I stepped into the dress and it stretched enough to go over my hips. I turned around so Lauren could zip me up. Up went the zip and the dress locked me into position. It was a perfect fit. The dress went just above the corset line and fit neatly under the breasts, fitting snugly around the lower chest and waist level and loosening just a little at the hips and stopped mid thigh.

The cut of the dress arched over each breast and dipped in the middle showing a little cleavage that had been created by the corset. There were no shoulder straps leaving my shoulders and arms totally exposed. The stiffened form of the dress and the way it fitted so neatly held everything in place.

Lauren then tried her dress. It was all silver sequins low cut at the front with narrow shoulder straps. Her beautifully enhanced cleavage was available for viewing as the dress gracefully dipped in the right place. She turned around and I zipped her up. The dress was acutely form fitting but just that little bit loose to allow it to move swing and sway as Lauren walked, the hem finished a couple of inches above her exquisite knees.

We easily found shoes to match our outfits and Lauren put her own silver shoes on that were all straps around the foot and ankle, but I needed Lauren’s help to put my shoes on because my corset would not allow me to bend very far. Lauren chose for me a bright red pair of pumps with a single ankle strap that she had to fasten.

“Out of the closet Sophie, let’s take a look at you,” said Lauren as she walked out of the closet in front of me.

She was a vision of beauty all on her own, but she looked so much more mature than she had earlier in the day. She was posing for me as she waited for my presence in the bedroom.

I walked out of the closet carefully with my head held high. Models do not walk with their heads down and that is what I felt like right now. I stood beside Lauren and marveled at the sight. The two creatures before me were all woman if ever I saw it, but there was something missing.

“Jewelry,” I said to Lauren.

“Jewelry. Sophie, how perceptive of you. We just don’t sparkle enough yet do we?” said Lauren reaching for the middle draw of Miranda’s dressing table.

There before us was a fantastic arrangement of bangles of all shapes sizes and colors. “I think this is all costume jewelry or less expensive jewelry at least. Miranda told me that she has always been concerned with security so I always imagined her having a safe to keep the expensive stuff in.”

“Pick what you need but as with everything we need to remember where this all was so we can put it back. We have an excuse to move the clothes and shoes around but everything else should go back where we found it.”

I chose a long gold bracelet for my left wrist, a group of about ten gold colored bangles for my right wrist and a multiple string of pearls for around my neck. I also found a couple of big sparkling diamond like rings that fit my smallest fingers. I have never worn jewelry before and it really did make me feel special and tingly all over.

Every part of me was overloading with sensation at this moment. I was looking at myself in Miranda’s dressing table mirror and marveling at the site of this fantastic woman in red before me. She was like something you expect to see on a TV game show introducing the prizes. I considered everything that had happened to me today and felt grateful.

“Lauren,” I said. She finished adding her own beautiful silver and green jewelry looked at me, placing her both arms on one of mine.

“What is it darling Sophia.”

“I honestly never believed I could ever feel this good and look so wonderful. I owe it all to you. Thank you for everything Lauren,” I said.

I moved towards her to try to kiss her on the mouth, but before I could reach her mouth our breasts touched and held us apart. I couldn’t believe it could feel this sexy. Two sets of 36C tits being held out front by our corsets at exactly the same height opposing each other took up quite a bit of room.

I had to adjust my position and I try again. This time I got my lips to Lauren’s but the sensation of our breasts compressing between us as we held each other tight was unbelievable. I felt another wave of pleasure sweep through my loins and into my penis and my panties became instantly wetter than before.

I shivered and shook and pushed my stomach into Lauren’s for support where held on to feel the moment pass with both of my hands holding Lauren’s hips so she could not move. It took a few more seconds and a couple more shudders before the moment passed.

“Did you just let go in your panties?” said Lauren.

How could I lie? It must have been obvious. I nodded my head, closed my eyes for a moment and laid my head against her breast. I felt a little ashamed for creaming my panties again. Twice in one day and both times I was holding onto Lauren for dear life.

What I found most amazing was that she didn’t mind and she was even encouraging me. Before I arrived at her door this morning I was her young boyfriend who had never really kissed anyone before. Now I was this sexy he/she who was dressing up like a girl and creaming her pants every time she tried on a new dress and I couldn’t feel happier.

It was at that moment that my thoughts changed to what Robert had said. Was I soon going to change into a man? Was my Adams apple going to pop up, my chin and my shoulders all going to grow so that I could not wear pretty clothes again? Would I start growing hair all over my face and body? If that happened I would never again be able to look like this or feel like this. I started to cry.

“Goodness gracious sweet little Sophie. What has come over you? I thought this would make you so happy. What on earth could bring you to tears at a time like this?”

“It was what Robert said in the pool,” I said. “He reminded me that I was a boy and soon I would grow into a man with a big chin, an Adam’s apple, hair on my chin and other stuff. I don’t want to be like the other boys. I want to be like this.”

More tears started falling and I felt like there was no way out. I was stuck as a boy and no amount of wishing was going to help me. There would come a time soon when I would change and there was nothing anybody could do about it. I felt miserable and inconsolable. “Just when I find something that makes me as happy as I could ever wish to be, I am told that I can’t stay like this.”

“Please don’t be like this Sophie. We were having so much fun. I doubt that you will get as big and hairy as most other boys.”

“I will Lauren,” I continued. “My dad told me that he was small when he was my age but he said he grew like a weed when he got to sixteen. Look at him now. He has big shoulders and a dark shadow on his chin. He could never wear a dress like I want to.”

“But who is to say Sophie. You may turn out more like your Mom. She is very petite.”

“Oh I might turn out like Mom sure, but I will more likely turn out like my Dad. I could never look like that and wear dresses. I will be miserable for the rest of my life.”

“OK Sophie. Its about now I feel like calling you a silly sissyboy, but I guess I already used that line. Just stop driveling. Sit and listen to me for a minute because you might hear something that gives you some hope.”

Lauren said using her ‘I’m in control so you better listen’ voice.

“There is another thing that most boys miss out on. You probably never heard the lecture that most women get about hormones and birth control pills.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” I said believing that nobody could help me.

“OK let me explain it this way. You know that boys turn into boys when they get to puberty because their bodies start producing massive amounts of testosterone, right?”

“Yes,” I said.

“And you know that female birth control pills work because they regulate and increase the amount of estrogen in a woman’s body.”

“So,” I said. “I have no idea where you are going with this.”

‘Well my mom said that if a man were to take birth control pills it would block his testosterone and he would become more feminine.”

I think I was beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. “How much more feminine?” I asked.

“I am not sure, but she did say that most men grow breasts.”

There it was. I had some hope to hang on to. Maybe I could grow breasts and people would think I was a girl.

“What else. What other things happen?”

“I’m not sure,” said Lauren. “But I think we could find something on the net.”

I grabbed Lauren’s hand and we took off for Robert’s study. He said I could use his computer last time I was there. There was a clattering and clicking of high heels against the hardwood floors of the hallway for just a moment until we realized that April was asleep in her room. We quietly checked on her and seeing that she was still fast asleep backed out of the room then walked sensibly down the stairway, through the great room and into Robert’s study.

This room was decidedly masculine compared the other rooms in the house. Mostly black leather, dark wood and silver decorations separated by numerous mirrors that only served to magnify the dark complexion of the room.

Dressed as we were Lauren and I felt like unwelcome intruders in this mans world. I could see two sexily dressed women crossing the room through the mirrors on the walls, but I was not interested in that right now. I touched the keyboard and the fifty-inch screen in front of me came to life.

“Google effect of female hormones on boys,” said Lauren so I entered the text and pressed enter.

The very first sites we found started to explain the benefits of female hormones on a transsexual girl, a title that from that moment on I suddenly believed I deserved. I was not a sissy, I was a transsexual girl. It was obvious. I read and read for about twenty minutes till I understood what I was and understood the urgency of my situation.

I needed to get on hormones fast because any chance I had at being or to be more correct staying a beautiful girl were being eroded by the horrid and vicious male hormones that were attacking my system right now. While I was reading all this Lauren was sitting next to me and reading along with me. We got to the bottom of the second page and I closed the page.

“So what do you think?” said Lauren.

“Do you take your birth control pills?” I asked.

“No. As a matter of fact I have 3 months supply in my dresser untouched.”

“So does that mean that you are going to help me?”

“Help you what?” said Lauren.

“Help me become a girl.”

I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms
I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 10.
The real girl comes out.

“You want what?” said Lauren with a slightly desperate tone to her voice.

“I want to become a real girl,” I said again. “Isn’t it obvious? You called me a sissy boy but that’s not what I am. I am just a girl born with the wrong parts.”

“But hold on a little Mitch, how long have you known this. You never said anything before.”

“Lauren please don’t call me Mitch, I am Sophia or Sophie. I never said anything before because I didn’t know. I thought I was an ordinary boy, but when did you ever meet a boy who looked like this.”

I stood up and looked in one of the many tall mirrors around the room. What I saw looking back at me was a girl. 100% girl and I wanted it to stay that way. It also gave me that butterfly tingle down below that gave me an involuntary hip shiver.

“You are over reacting. You have only worn girl’s clothes 3 times. How can you suddenly believe you want to be a girl full time? Don’t you need some time to work it out?”

“You didn’t use my name that time.”

“OK Sophie. But how can you want to turn your life upside down after just a few hours in girl’s clothes?”

“Because I just realized why I was so different. Right from the first time we met I knew I wanted to be with you, but I only just figured out why.

Because I wanted to be you. You are everything beautiful and I am only really happy when I am with you because I have always hoped some of what you are would rub off on me and I could be a little bit like you, only now I don’t just want to be a little bit like you. I want to be completely like you. And I don’t want to be like you some of the time I want to be like you all of the time.”

“So is that it? No more Mitch?”

That question hit me hard. I tried to think what would happen if I stayed in these clothes till Miranda came home and then I went home like this to show my parents.

“I don’t know. I haven’t had much time to think this through. I know now what I want, but I don’t know how to make it happen.”

“Well you can’t just start being a girl just like that. We will figure something out.”

“Lauren?” I said realizing that she was turning from questioning to supporting. “Does that mean that you are going to help me become a girl?”

“But Mitch.”

“Sophie,” I said.

“Sophie.” said Lauren as her eyes welled up, her chin began to quiver and tears rolled down her cheeks. She reached out with both arms and hugged. Our tits got in the way but we found a way around it. Lauren sobbed for a while and I didn’t interrupt her.

We were both trying to figure out where we go from here. It felt good just to hold on to each other for a while.

“Sophie,” Lauren looked at me while dabbing away tears from her cheeks. “Why do I get the feeling that I am losing my best friend?”

That question meant that I had hurt Lauren and that was the one thing that I had never planned on and I wanted to avoid most.

“But your best friend is right here Lauren,” I said. “I am just wearing different clothes.”

“But the Mitch I know is shy and bending and he lets me push him around. This Sophie character is a little pushy and controlling and seems to have a path determined for herself without asking anyone. All Mitch ever wanted was to be with me!”

Me pushy and controlling! I had never tried to be pushy or controlling.

“But Lauren, my mind is all kind of loopy with conflicting thoughts right now, but I do know that until this moment, I never knew what I wanted to be or how to get there?”

“It’s like I used to be in this dark little room, just stumbling around and bumping into things, but now a window has opened and now I can see what I have been bumping into all of these years. Now I can see my own way and pick out my own path.”

“But I thought I was your guiding light,” said Lauren. “Now you are telling me that you are going to be like me and from now on you can see your own way. Where does that put me? I feel kind of redundant. What do I do now? I have lost control of you.”

“OK I can understand you saying that, but you are still my best friend, and I hope that we can be best friends who share dresses.”

“This is a big change you know Sophie. There are so many consequences that we can’t plan for. I can tell you right now that at some time I will be jealous of you because you are too dam pretty.”

“I certainly don’t want to be in competition with you. I want you there with me. I need you help to get through this.”

“Well just don’t expect me to be there when you kiss a boy for the first time.”

“But what about this morning?”

“Not like this morning I mean a real kiss. I mean when a boy puts his tongue down your throat and you turn to mush in his hands. That’s when I will be jealous. I wanted to turn to mush in my hands.”

When Lauren said that I realized that for the first time I really did want to go to mush in a boys arms, although I didn’t know who yet, maybe Warren, but I still wanted to kiss Lauren.

“But we can still make out like we did this morning can’t we?” I asked hopefully.

“I don’t know. This morning I was making out with Mitch wearing a dress. You are now asking me to make out with Sophie who you say is a girl. It’s not the same. I never wanted to make out with a girl.”

Ouch! This being a girl thing wasn’t all positive.

“But Lauren I still love you.”

“And I love you too Sophie, but it can’t be the same as it was with Mitch. If you don’t want to be my boyfriend any more, then I guess I will have to be content with you as my girlfriend, but don’t expect things to be the same. You are taking something away from me that I have loved since we started school together.”

“But I’m still here. I’m not going to leave you. I need you Lauren. I really need you.”

“Are you 100% sure that you want to go through with this.” Said Lauren like she wanted to help me make the decision and wanted me to be confident, but I wasn’t.

“I am conflicted.” I said trying to be honest with my feelings and with Lauren. “It’s like I am totally committed to being a girl, but there are all of these things that I know I will loose and I am not ready to loose them yet. I want to be your girlfriend and kiss you and hold you, but I still want to be a girl. I also don’t want to let go of Mitch. I had some great times being Mitch.”

‘What’s past will still be held forever in your memories regardless of weather you wear a dress or not,” said Lauren giving me comforting smile and holding my cheek.

I didn’t have to make my final decision right then but I did have to go forwards. I could not afford to stand still as I believe that to stand still in the face of the testosterone that was messing with my system.

“I think right now I must say that yes I want to become a girl. If I don’t do it now them I my loose my chance and regret it forever. Will you help me?

“Yes I am going to help you become a girl. You are my best friend and how could I let you down when you need my help so much,” said Lauren, “but it’s not going to be easy and it is not going to be painless. We will have to make a plan together. My plan for you was for us to grow up, get married and have kids, but I don’t see that happening now.”

“I’m sorry Lauren. I didn’t know you felt that way.”

“Look I want you to understand something. This is a very big thing you are asking me. I feel like a jilted girlfriend being asked to help you find your next girlfriend. I want to help you but I feel like I may be shooting myself in the foot by doing so, but I can’t refuse you. I love you too much.”

“I know you love me,” I said trying to comfort her now in return,” but I think we have talked about this enough for the moment. How about we change the subject for a while.”

“Maybe we should sort you out some clothes?” said Lauren. “If you are going to become a girl you will need clothes, so Miranda wanting to get rid of some of hers is a real god send to a girl like you.”

“I know,” I said. “And what about your pills. You have 3 months supply sitting there just waiting for me.”

“They are not waiting for you they are waiting for me. Don’t you think you should see a doctor and do this properly?”

“Yes I do, but until I do I need to be sure that the testosterone already in my body doesn’t do any more harm.”

“What do you mean ‘more harm.’ You look perfect right now. You couldn’t be any more woman than you look right now.”

“Real women don’t have to clean sperm out of their panties after each time they put a dress on. That’s the testosterone working. You read the same article I did. Testosterone is poisoning me right now. It just doesn’t belong in a girl’s body and I have to get rid of it. The only method I have of fighting that right now is your pills.

”OK,” said Lauren. “You can have my pills and I will tell my doctor that I have used them up and ask for more. But you have to find some way of getting to a doctor and discussing this and maybe getting your own pills specially made for your condition.”

“But to do that I will have to tell my parents that I want to be a girl.”

“Well you will have to do it sometime. That’s not something you can hide from them. Don’t you think they will notice?”

I thought about that for a moment. “I’m sure I could take your pills for a few weeks before anyone notices.” I said. “That will give me time to tell my parents and talk to a doctor, but I don’t want to give the testosterone any more time to poison my system. I want to start on the pills right away.”

“OK well you had best come to my house and get them tomorrow.”

“So what should we do after that?”

“I don’t know what I can do. It’s pretty much you from here on in. All I can do is support you, but I think you must tell your parents.” said Lauren.

“OK but what do we do this minute?”

“Well let’s try on some dresses. We still have dozens to look at, and it’s so much more important now that you have decided to become a full time girl,” said Lauren. “I don’t know if we should bother with the fashion show by the pool though. That was just a silly thing to do for fun.”

“But who said we can’t have fun.” I said. “I don’t want to become a girl so I can get serious and be miserable. I have been drifting through life as a bored and miserable boy for long enough.”

“But you don’t have fun when you are with me.”

“Yes exactly. The only time was really happy was when I was with you, because some of your girl happiness rubbed off on me. Now I want to be a girl myself and have fun all the time.”

“And try on dresses?” said Lauren.

“I think trying on dresses must be about the most fun thing ever. Let’s go upstairs and check out the other bedroom, but before that let’s go out and strut our stuff around the pool.”

We got up, I took Lauren’s hand and we went over to the patio window where we switched all of the outside lights on, in and around the pool, then we switched off the lights inside the great room so we could use the patio window as a mirror. We opened the patio window and walked outside.

The air outside was a little cooler now that the sun had gone down. The breeze on all my exposed parts felt heavenly. I felt goose bumps form up the back of my arms and my chest, and the breeze around the tops of my legs was stimulating to say the least.

We strode around the pool looking at the pretty lights in the water. The house looked very striking from the far side of the pool lit up by all of the lights in the grounds and the pool area. We could hear nothing apart from the comforting sound of the water running and bubbling down the multiple pools of the waterfall.

I could imagine a hundred people in fine clothes with food and drinks in their hands and white jacketed waiters buzzing around with food on trays and glasses of champagne. It looked like a scene from a playboy mansion except that there were no playboy bunnies in sight, apart from me and Lauren that is. I hoped I could be part of that scene someday, modeling my own fabulous dresses.

As we returned to the house we walked towards the patio doors and we were framed by the brightly lit pool and surrounding features. Two beautiful women in fantastic dresses and all of the trimmings and one of those beautiful women was me.

I felt like this was where I belonged. I wanted to be part of the modeling that was going to happen here. I wanted to stride up the catwalk with the other models wearing outrageous creations from outlandish designers.

Lauren turned to me and took both my hand in hers. “Are you happy?” she asked.

“Of course I am happy, It is difficult to explain how happy I am. I am happy right now because I am dressed like I know I should be dressed and I feel beautiful, and I have an idea of how I can stay this way.”

“I know I can’t stay this way tomorrow or the next day, but some time in the near future I will be able to change into a girl and stay that way.”

“That may not be for quite some time yet Sophie. You will have to be patient!”

“I don’t want to be patient, but I guess I must try to control the great desire I now have inside me to tell everyone that I am a woman and my name is Sophia. But I am sure I can control myself if I try really hard. But I don’t have to control myself tonight, do I?”

I moved a little closer to Lauren, put my arm around her waist to pull her towards me and rested my pelvic bone against her thigh. I move in to kiss her but she held me back with her hand against my mouth.

“I am not ready for that right now.” she said. “Let’s go upstairs and try on some more dresses.”

We made our way into the house and up to the bedroom next to Miranda’s. This bedroom was smaller than Miranda’s, done in neutral beiges and creams but still quite large and bigger than any bedroom in my parent’s house.

There was a large bed made up nicely with numerous decorative pillows and some bed side tables, but otherwise the room was empty, but we soon discovered the walk in closet with its mirrored doors so we checked out the treasures inside.

When we opened the door and switched on the light we found a huge closet that was mostly empty but with thirty to forty dresses lined up along one wall. Most of the dresses were in plastic and many with the store tags still on them and an equal number of pairs of shoes on the floor. The back wall was shelved and half filled with handbags, clutch bags and purses to match the shoes and dresses. We started surveying the bounty that lay before us.

“How are we going to do this?” said Lauren.

“What do you mean?”

“Well you want some things for yourself and so do I.”

“OK,” I said trying to work out a plan. “How about if I pick a dress and matching shoes, put them on and provided they fit I will put them on the bed, then you pick a dress and shoes, and if you like it you can put it at the far end of the closet where the rail is empty.”

“OK,” said Lauren. “Go pick your first dress.”

The very first dress I looked at I just couldn’t go past. It was your typical essential plain black short evening dress with spaghetti straps. I had to put it on together with the plain black patent leather pumps that lay close by.

Lauren undid the red dress I was wearing and I laid it on the bed. I then put the black dress on, it went on easily around the hips but when we came to fasten the zip, the chest was just a little too tight. Lauren said it may be because of the breast forms I was wearing. We checked the size of the dress and it was a size 2.

“That maybe OK if you were only an A or a small B cup, Miss Sophie, but with you being a wicked ‘C’ cup you are going to have to try at least a size 4. But don’t discard that dress. I think it will be perfect for you when you find your real size.”

“So Lauren think about it. Does that mean that we should change our corsets and remove these large breasts, because how are we going to know if things fit us properly if we are wearing great big boobies. I want to find out if these dresses will fit me when I wear them for real.”

“You are of course right Sophie. When we got dressed this evening I thought it would be fun to go overboard and so I chose breast forms that were too big for a girl your age and size.

“You would never be bigger than a B at your age and build, so let’s go and change our underwear.”

I told Lauren that before we do that I needed to use the bathroom to clean myself up so I headed in that direction.

When I got inside the bathroom I was alone for the first time all day. Even without the dress but couldn’t help but admire the slender young woman in the mirror, wearing a striking black corset with tan colored stockings.

The blonde wig fell onto her shoulders and her fabulous breasts excited me to the point where I had to hold onto the wall for a moment to catch my breath. The woman was fantastic. I stood and enjoyed the rumbling sensations low in my stomach and looked around the room.

Then I noticed the clothes basket and wondered what was inside it. I opened it to find bras and panties that could only be Miranda’s. I had hit the jackpot. I took each bra and each pair of panties out separately and touched them all to feel the soft and delicious fabrics. Some of the panties were stained making them even more erotic to touch, knowing that they had touched Miranda in the most intimate places.

I got to the bottom of the basket and beneath everything there was the blue silk skirt and a white silk top that Miranda had been wearing when I first met her.

An instant heaviness between my legs alerted me to an imminent erection. I had to wear them like my life depended on it. I took them from the basket with a short underskirt that she must have been wearing with the multicolored bra and the fabulous matching panties, laid them on the counter and started rubbing my hands over them.

I lifted the panties and held them to my face. They felt exquisite and I knew I had to wear them. I put the white silk blouse on. It had little silk and elastic runners that went down under the legs to keep the blouse in place. I left them loose for the moment. I took off my white panties and did a little clean up work before I could put on Miranda’s panties. I couldn’t fold myself underneath because I guessed what was going to happen next.

I fastened the blouse runners, then put the slip and skirt on and fastened the side zip and the amazing sensation almost overwhelmed me. There in the mirror was my version of Miranda in blue and white silk and my erection went crazy. I was panting heavily and slowly running my hands all over myself just to feel the sensation of what it must be like to feel like Miranda does. I couldn’t help it.

I knew what I was about to do was wrong. I wanted to be a girl and girls don’t play with their penis. Only boys do that, but I felt justified it by the fact that there was that poison testosterone still in my system and I couldn’t help it. Once I started the pills I wouldn’t want to do it any more, but right now it was something I had to do.

I grabbed some tissues from the counter then turned again to look at myself in the full length mirror. Everything was so unbelievably Miranda except for the shadow of an erection under the skirt. I couldn’t stop myself as my hand reached down and lifted my skirt.

I reached inside my own (Miranda’s) panties and pulled out my erection. It had never been so hard. I started pulling myself off while looking at the Miranda vision in the mirror. The red shoes looked out of place but the legs looked incredible in the lacy topped stay ups that I could see under the blue silk skirt and lacy white underskirt that I held clear of myself.

The tits under the white blouse had a wonderfully sexy full shape. The hair and makeup were deliciously foxy. The flashing blue eyes were devastating and the sight and taste of my own tongue licking my own delicious pink and glistening lips was astonishing.

My now impending explosion could not be stopped. I held my eyes open and watched the women in front of me as I rocked my hips backward and forwards for a few seconds as the thunder roared through my loins. Wave after wave of pleasure rolled through my body and out through the end of my penis. I blasted into the tissue at least six times until I was firing blanks.

I held myself with eyes now closed still standing in the red pumps with the single strap at the ankle which by now where feeling a little tight. I couldn’t move for a while so I just stayed in exactly the same place and held myself waiting for the weakness in my knees and the shivers that were going through my body to subside. All of the sensations of the fantastic clothing I was wearing kept reminding me of how sensational I feel until I opened my eyes again and realized that Lauren was outside waiting for me.

With my composure regained I opened my eyes to see that delicious woman in the mirror again but with some hard to reconcile features to deal with. She had just been yanking her own doodle while her girlfriend was waiting outside the door waiting for her to try on some more dresses. I felt guilty. How could I be the same girl who had just been telling Lauren that I was a girl in a boy’s body and still want to blast into a tissue and throw it down the toilet?

I didn’t want Lauren to know what I had done so I quickly got myself straightened up, put everything back where it was and even splashed a little cologne around the room to mask any odors, and then I rejoined Lauren in Miranda’s bedroom.

“What took you so long Miss Sophie?”

“I am sorry Lauren but not everything can be done quickly and I am not used to telling people what I do in the bathroom.” I felt like crap actually for doing what I had done but I was not going to tell Lauren.

“Oh,” said Lauren “Getting a little defensive are we. Get back here while I tighten that corset some more. I will have you back under control in no time.” I couldn’t be upset when Lauren was around. I smiled for her.

“You know it’s a funny thing,” I said, “but this corset doesn’t feel as tight as it was before. I must be getting used to it.”

“OK,” said Lauren. “If you were going to keep that corset on I would tighten it for you, but if we are going to reduce your bra size down to something more realistic for your age then I will take that corset off you and we will find something more your size. Let’s get that one off first.”

Lauren undid the corset from the back. I had no idea what was going on behind me so I let Lauren get on with it. As the corset came off for just a second or two I thought I might retain some of that pretty shape, but it disappeared and I was soon left with my old straight up and down figure.

Then Lauren took me back into the bathroom to remove my breast forms. They came off quite easily with warm water. We went back into Miranda’s room into the draw with the breast forms and selected a smaller pair. Lauren said these were more like breast enhancers. The back of them was quite sticky and there was no need of any adhesive but I did need a bra to keep them in place.

We searched Miranda’s closet for some pretty bras for me to wear and found many. It was very difficult to choose. I eventually chose a nude color soft cup bra that would give me a good shape without showing the enhancers but would not contrast with all of the different colored dresses that I might try on in the next hour or two.

It was still only 9:30 and we had nearly two hours before Miranda would come home.

Lauren also found me a waste nipper that would help with my shape. It did not have a lot of boning, but it could be closed from the front so I could put it on myself.

Lauren also removed her corset and went with a more normal bra and panties for she didn’t need anything to make her figure look good, and we went back into the other bedroom to try some more clothes on.

I was now on a mission to select a limited wardrobe of clothes that could be used for various occasions that I might need to attend. Not that I had plans to go anywhere, but it felt like the right thing to do. I couldn’t rely on Lauren or Miranda for clothes if I was to become a real girl, I would need my own.

I tried to plan for every eventuality, but that didn’t mean coats and hats etc. I didn’t see any coats in Miranda’s closet or anywhere in the house at all. I guess some people never use coats in L.A.

In the next few minutes I tried on some terrific dresses. I found two in particular that I really liked. One was very pretty evening dress in black that had a tight fitting sequined bodice with spaghetti straps and a skirt that ballooned out from the waist in silk and taffeta that finished in uneven ruffles just above the knee. I felt like a million dollars in that dress and wished I had some reason to wear it but it needed to be worn at a prom or dinner in front of handsome boys in dinner jackets.

The second dress was a cream colored crepe sheath dress of a soft and clingy fabric that looked just straight up and down on the hanger but when I put it on it hugged all my curves in the right places that started with spaghetti straps and finished with an uneven hem below the knees. It also came with a jacket with elbow length arms that didn’t really close in the front. The whole thing felt heavenly while I was wearing it that I couldn’t put it back in the closet.

I also selected a grey business suit dress and jacket set that had an in between neck line and a skirt to the knee. Totally professional, and a yellow sun dress in a soft fabric with low neck line and lots of ruffles around the neck, shoulders and hem.

In Miranda’s closet Lauren also picked out for me two A line skirts cut just above the knee with 4 semi matching tops for me and we found four pairs of shoes that work with those selections. Then we found a light woolen jacket in light brown that I could wear over them. We thought that would be enough outer clothes.

Trying on dresses was the most fantastic of sensations, not just because of the wonderful soft and sensuous but different feeling that each dress provoked, but each dress gave me a blast of pleasure between my legs and into my boy parts that was hard to describe. If I was on my own I could imagine another blasting session after each dress I tried, but as I was with Lauren I kept my knickers on, in spite of all the straining and expanding that was going on inside them. Thank god for spandex.

Now we needed to find underwear.

Sorting out bra’s and panties was just as hard to do, but I didn’t want Lauren to know that just handling these beautiful undergarments made me feel that way. I sorted ten pairs of bikini panties, but none of them were thongs. I didn’t think thongs would hold in my boy things.

I found three pairs of control panties and then went looking for bras. I tried to match up as many bras as I could with the panties I had, but only found 3 sets but took 10 pairs of panties overall. I finished with eight bras. Mostly 34As and Bs.

We found 4 full corsets in size 34A and 34B or similar styles, most of which I could never fasten myself, but we thought it best to take 2 of them to ensure we did not lose them. We also took some pantyhose, stockings, one suspender belt and one of the wigs. By the time we had packed everything in three large shopping bags we realized that I could not carry any more so we thought we had better leave it till next time.

Lauren also selected three pretty dresses with matching shoes for herself and I knew that if Lauren owned them then she would probably let me wear them. She also selected some smaller frilly stuff but I should also be able to get my hands on them if need be. It’s wonderful to have a pretty girlfriend in your size.

After we had everything we thought we could take at this time, we looked at the collections of clothes remaining in both bedrooms and we both agreed that we had hardly made a dent and there was still a stack of clothes that needed to be moved. We just needed to figure out how. We put everything together by the front door and rested in the great room for a while.

Lauren poured out a couple of glasses of iced tea so we sat and reflected about the evening.

“So what do you think Sophie. Have you got enough clothes to keep you going?”

“I wish I could tell you Lauren, but I have no idea what it takes to keep going. I don’t really know when I will be able to wear any of them, apart from the confines of my own room. I don’t really know where I am going to put them either, but if my parents go to work at the garden center like they usually do on Sundays’ I will have a couple of hours to figure it out. Are we seeing each other tomorrow?”

“Do you mean me and you or me and Mitch?”
“That’s a tricky one. I could come over as Mitch then we could both spend some time with Sophie if you like?”

“But I don’t know if my parents will go out at all tomorrow as neither of them work on Sunday, and they like to spend time with me. I thought you were going to the high school football game with Warren and Carter?”

“Well actually Mitch was going to go watch Cater and Warren play football, but its not like they notice me while they are playing. I could just tell them I was there and left before the end. Can we do something together?”

“Like I said. Mom and Dad like to spend time with me on Sunday. They say it’s a family day. I think you should spend time with your parents too.”

“But they usually work on Sunday morning.” I said in my pleasing ‘I’m only a little girl’ manner, but I could tell it wasn’t working. Lauren had made her mind up. She didn’t change it often.

“Sophie I think Mitch should spend as much of the day with his parents as he can. They may not get to see their little boy much longer before he is replaced. I think you should talk to them about things. Drop some hints. Ask them what they think of trans-gendered people. That would be better that just dropping it on them like a bomb.”

“I guess I could do that, but I have always dreaded any conversation with them regarding sex or sexual orientation or anything near that subject. I prefer to think that my Mom and Dad just don’t do that kind of thing.”

“Well I bet they do!” said Lauren. “My mom tells me that most married couples do it at least once a week. When we are on our own she tells me of some of the nice things that my Dad does for her. She said that she wants me to know what kind of things a kind considerate man does for his woman.”

“She sometimes tells me that they have made love and what romantic thing he did for her because, she would much rather I learn about such things from her than from a stranger or a book or any other source that she can’t control.”

“I think that is amazing. I have never had a conversation about sex with my parents. I don’t think it would feel right.”

“But why not?” said Lauren. “You could bring the subject up you know. You need to plan it through. Write down a list of questions that you need answers about and ask them. You might be surprised and find that they want to talk to you about sex but were waiting for you to be ready.”

I thought about it and decided that Lauren was right. If couldn’t ask my parents about sex who else could I talk to? And during the conversation I could slip in some questions about trans-gendered people and get an idea of what their reaction might be.

“OK! 11PM Sophie. Time to bring Mitch back.”

I looked to the clock and she was right. They said they may be home by 11:30. We quickly went upstairs and dismantled Sophie, put all of the lovely clothes away. I gently removed the make-up and nail polish.

I looked at myself in the mirror to find that I still could see the girl inside me, then I put some gel on my hair and plastered it down in front of my eyes like I normally did. Before we went downstairs to pretend to be a normal boy and girlfriend I gave Lauren a hug and held her tight while I reflected.

A lot had happened today. I had been dressed like a girl for most of the day and decided that I wanted to become a girl full time. I had also kissed Lauren for the very first time and given Lauren and orgasm with my hand inside her panties.

I had read about the damaging effects of testosterone on the body of someone who may want to become a girl and I have begun to understand that I am transgendered, not sissy, and I want to become a real girl.

I had also gained the beginnings of my girl wardrobe from Miranda’s closet. All of those things I feel were positive, but I had also seen the writing on the wall for Mitch and I may have dashed Laurens plans for me to be her husband and have kids with me.

My feelings were a mixture of joy and trepidation. I had no idea of weather I was doing the right thing and I thought that bad things must happen at some time down the road. Not everything that would happen would be positive or received gladly, but I had started down that path and I don’t believe that anything could stop me now. I was going to be a girl and that is all there is to it.

We checked on April before we descended the stairs and went into the great room to watch TV and wait Miranda and Robert to come home. We snuggled up in front of the TV and I closed my eyes for just a moment.

They were standing before us when I woke up. Lauren was shaking me gently by the shoulder as Miranda and Robert stood in front of us. They gently rushed us out of the door so that the chauffer could take us both home. It was 12:30. Robert helped us into the limo with our bags of clothes and Miranda stepped inside the limo to give us both thanks and kisses. Miranda still looked fabulous but I was exhausted from a very eventful day and I couldn’t pay her the attention she deserved.

We dropped Lauren off first then came back past Miranda’s house and on down to my parents. I tried not to make any noise as I entered using my key to the front door. I could hear my parents listening to music in the family room. It was a Sting DVD they both very much liked.

Trying not to make a sound that they could hear over the TV, I placed the three bags on a shelf in the hall closet planning to move them later when the house was quiet. I then went into said goodnight to my parents who were sitting arm in arm on the couch.

Mom was wearing a full length down to her feet dressing gown and Dad was wearing the exact same jeans and shirt he has worn for the last twenty years. I didn’t actually mean that, but he had lots of shirts and pants almost exactly the same apart from the colors and he did look good in them but I wished he would wear something else sometimes.

I tried to hug him without touching his face as I new his beard would rip me open, but I was wrong. When I held him he was clean-shaven and was wearing a very nice cologne. I instantly thought about Lauren’s comment about most couples once a week. Maybe tonight it was their turn. I turned to hug Mom.

Mom was wearing a little perfume but it was not a very nice one. Something a grandmother might wear. I thought to myself that I would have to get her some better perfume than that, at least something that I could use. Mom held onto me by my head and kissed me on the lips then asked me what I was doing for lunch tomorrow.

“Nothing,” I said. “No plans.”

“Then you and I are going somewhere nice for lunch somewhere,” she said. “I will speak to you in the morning. Sleep tight.” Then she kissed me on the lips again and I went up to my bedroom.

I really wanted to move the clothes, but they would be able to see me as I walked up the stairs and into my room. I undressed, put my PJ pants on and tried to stay awake but it was no use. I couldn’t resist the pillow that was calling me so I crawled in between the sheets and fell asleep.

I must have slept soundly as I felt refreshed and alive as soon as I woke up. I sat up in the bed and thought about my beautiful dresses. I listened for any sound in the house and could hear whispering from downstairs. I opened my bedroom door to hear the last few words of a conversation. My mother was saying “ Bye.” “Thanks again.” “See you in a few days.” “Thanks again.” “Bye.”

My mother was one of those people who repeated the same thing over and over while on the phone, thinking that it increased the value of the words. I walked across the hallway. Somehow my mother heard me.

“Are you awake Mitch?” she called from the kitchen.

“Yes Mom, just cleaning my teeth.” I said entering the bathroom in my PJ pants.

“Can I bring you up some coffee?”

Mom bringing me coffee! That’s a new one. She only just discovered that I had changed from Cool-aid. “Yes please Mom. Lots of cream please.”

I cleaned my teeth and turned to go back to my bedroom, and there was my mother. I had not seen her smile so much in years. She was positively beaming and she was wearing a dress and heels.

“See, if fits perfectly. They all do. Thanks you so much Mitch,” she said.

Thank you for what I thought. And then I realized. She was wearing my dress and my shoes.

I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms
I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 11.

Mitch and Sue visit Grandpa.

“I talked to Miranda and thanked her already,” my Mother said. “She didn’t understand what I was talking about at first, till I reminded her that you came home with these clothes for me.”

“At first I couldn’t figure out why the clothes were there at all, till I remembered our conversation when you said you would talk to Miranda about me needing a little updating. I never actually believed you would say anything, but you did. You are such a thoughtful boy. See!”

She said doing a twirl in the middle of the hallway.

“It fits me perfect. They all do. Everything! I’m going to show them all to your Dad tonight. He will be delighted.”

I couldn’t think of anything to say. Last night I was on top of the world thinking I had my own set of beautiful girl’s cloths to wear whenever I wanted, but now I suddenly I have nothing again. There they were tantalizingly out of reach, being modeled for me by my Mother and I couldn’t say anything.

I felt gutted in one way, but I also felt kind of happy for my Mother. She was as happy as I had seen her for a long time, but she also looked more feminine that I had ever seen her. She had some shape. She was obviously wearing a bra and she had a waist. She also had legs and was wearing stockings or tights.

She had put a little make-up on, blush and lipstick, and she wore earrings. Clip on I would say because I know she did not have pierced ears.

“You must be impressed. You haven’t said a word.”

“Very nice Mom! You look very different, but how come you chose today to start wearing modern and may I say sexy clothes?”

“I will tell you a story when you come down for breakfast, but sexy! Do you think your mother looks sexy?”

“Mother I said you were wearing sexy clothes.”

“Well that sounds like part of a complement. Is there any more to it or are you just going to leave me hanging.”

“Yes Mom you look as pretty as I have ever seen you. The dress is perfect for you and that little bit of make-up does you good. Now can I get a shower and get dressed please.”

“Of course darling,” my Mother said. “Can I make you some breakfast Mitch? Sausage burrito?”

“Yes Please Mom,” I said and headed for the bathroom.

It wasn’t Moms fault. The way she had interpreted the situation was better for me than if she had thought that the clothes were mine and I wanted to wear them, but jeez I felt like I was back at square one and I had no place to go and no plan to go forward, except that I was going over to Lauren’s later to get those pills.

Minor set back I told myself. I may be disappointed now but I would find a way around it. I headed for the bathroom.

I have fine flyaway hair, but for the last couple of years now my normal hairstyle has been to mat my hair down with conditioner or hair gel to ensure that it stays down flat to my head and over my eyes. I also liked it to appear wet and dirty although I wash it every day.

I knew that if I comb or blow-dry my hair it looks really nice, or even a little feminine, but until this weekend those were not qualities I desired to project. Today I blow-dried my hair, brushed it backwards for a change and headed downstairs wearing a white short sleeved dress shirt and cargo pocket shorts, but I was wearing my bikini bottoms that I had taken from Miranda’s and tuck myself back, just to make myself feel a little bit lady like.

I started into my breakfast and Mom kept asking me questions about Miranda’s. I told her all about the house and little April. I described the great room, Roberts’s office and the bedrooms and bathrooms I had seen, and then I described the changes that they were going to make to the house.

“I really do appreciate the fact that you talked to Miranda about me and brought home all of those beautiful clothes for me. I can’t imagine how you brought it up in conversation. What happened?”

“Well actually I was talking to Lauren and her mother yesterday morning about our conversation together, and they said I should take you to ‘The Parasol’ which is the high class ladies store in the Mission Viejo Mall.”

“I said I would take you there on Tuesday after school if you were free. That is the next time Lauren will be their, and I think Mrs. Martini would like to come too if you don’t mind. Do you want to go?”

“Yes of course I will and I will very much look forward to it, but please carry on with your story.”

“So later in the day while at Miranda’s, she told us about her work, she is going back next week, and about how the companies she works for all give her nice clothes. She has dozens of dresses that she has never worn and is not likely to, and wants to give many of them away, so when Lauren and I were sorting through them, I thought I would bring some home.”

“For me you mean?”

“Of course for you Mommy. Who else would I bring ladies dresses, shoes and clothes to our house for?”

“That’s very considerate of you dear to think of me. My opinion of you is changing quickly. I had no idea you could be so thoughtful Mitch.”

“I always like to be thoughtful, but it goes against the masculine thing that most boys like to project, but I am not like most other boys you know.”

“I can see that now Mitch. There are not many boys I know who would ever think about bringing home dresses and clothes for their mother, but I understand this was a special situation.”

“I know Mom, we just couldn’t let the opportunity go by. I hope you wear them a lot because you look very pretty in that dress.”

“Oh thank you darling Mitch. It’s been a long time since anybody called me pretty, but that’s my fault I guess.”

“So that also means that it is in your hands to stay looking pretty and keep on wearing dresses and makeup. I don’t understand why you never wore them before.”

“There is a reason for that,” she said. “It is not a good reason, and in fact it may be only a silly excuse but it’s all I have, and that is what brings me to the story Mitch. This is not going to be easy for me so please be patient.”

After she said that the room went quiet. Mom was carefully considering what she was going to say so I did not interrupt her. She looked at me lovingly then she reached across the table and held my hand.

“You know that sometimes you look a lot like my mother did when she was young, when you don’t have your hair matted down over your eyes that is.”

“I didn’t know that, but I don’t remember your mother.”

“You wouldn’t Mitch, but that is part of the story I am going to tell you. My mother was always disappointed with me when I told her I didn’t want to wear nice dresses or wear makeup. I was so silly. Maybe I could have looked as pretty as her, but I was so stubborn.”

“My mother took me and left my father when I was fifteen. I don’t really know why, but I remember my father calling her a painted faced harlot from outside our apartment window when she would not go back to live with him. For those few years we lived on our own with very little contact from my father.”

“He would call often but my Mom wouldn’t answer. I don’t know why she wouldn’t talk to him. She died of breast cancer when I was nineteen. It seems that she had been hiding it from everyone and when we did find out it was too late to do anything. Looking back it feels to me that she got sick and passed on in the blink of an eye.”

“It was a very sad time for me. I went back to live with my father when she went into hospital before she died. I told him that I couldn’t dress like my mother or wear makeup after what he called her and he said he was sorry and didn’t mean it, but I just carried on being a martyr.”

“I haven’t seen my grandpa for such a long time. Is that why we don’t see him much”? I asked.

“I guess it is,” she said. “A few weeks ago your father and I started talking about my mother and he remembers her when he was a boy living down the street. He said she was the prettiest woman in town and always marveled at how beautiful she looked in all her pretty clothes and makeup and he thought I would look like her with makeup on.”

“I always dressed like a tomboy when we were dating but he seemed to like it. I asked him why he hadn’t ever told me that before and he just said he always loved me the way I was but he always hoped to see me in dresses and makeup. I cried all night after he said that, that’s when I decided to change, but I didn’t know how to change until till you helped me.”

“What did I do?” I said.

“You brought me these clothes. I had been thinking for the last couple of weeks that I needed to do something but I didn’t know what, but putting these clothes on did the trick. I made me feel different about myself. Now that I have seen myself in a pretty dress I now feel that I can change and be a better woman.”

“Which brings me to another thing that you can help me with? I want to go to see my father and take you with me today.”

“You want us to go see my Grandfather today?”

“Yes. You don’t mind do you? It’s only an hour’s drive and it will give us some much needed time together.”

“Of course I can come with you. I was going to see Warren and Carter play football today but they will never notice that I wasn’t there.”

“Good,” my Mother said. “We can go as soon as you are ready. You don’t need anything with you. Your Dad is at the store till about 4 or 5 so we can take our time and have a nice day out.”

“Can you put the top down on the bimmer?” I said.

“It’s called a BMW Mitch and of course we can, but you had better wear some strong sunscreen and bring your sunglasses. Go get yourself ready and we will leave in 20 minutes.”

We were ready in no time. We drove up the Canyon Road and onto Highway 5 and north to Downey were Mom’s father lives. It was a pleasant autumn day of bright sunshine with hardly a cloud in the sky.

I loved my Mom’s black BMW 325 convertible but she never let me drive it. Maybe it’s because I don’t have a license yet. At highway speeds the wind blew my hair all over the place but my Mother’s hair didn’t move at all. It was too short. With the top down it was a little too noisy to have a meaningful conversation so we just turned the music up and enjoyed being out in the sunshine.

We reached Downey in less than an hour and Mom filtered off the highway at a place I had never seen her get off before and did a fast maneuver across another road like she had done it a thousand times, then two left turns and we were cruising down a pleasant avenue of mostly large older bungalows and ranch type houses with double garages and wide driveways and big trees.

My mother pulled into one of the driveways beside a car with a car cover over it so I couldn’t see what it was. A slightly familiar grey haired guy in his fifties or sixties came out of the door smiling. Mom got out and gave him a long tight hug. When they were finished he looked at me.

“Are you too old to hug your grandpa?”

I said no and gave him a hug. He held on to me for some time too. I got the feeling he was getting a little emotional. He took us inside the house which was beautifully decorated, then straight through to the back of the house were we sat in a pleasant arbor with a water feature and Japanese rock garden overlooking his flower garden made mostly of flowering shrubs and grass. Sitting in that arbor we couldn’t see anything of the other houses around only the tops of some roofs.

My grandfather was a slim clean shaven handsome man going thin on top with a kind and gentle face. He was nicely dressed wearing a silk brightly colored Hawaiian shirt and pale kaki pants with a nice straight crease in them.

“I am really glad to see you Sue and I don’t want to bring up old wounds but what made you pick today to come and visit me now?” Grandpa said.

“I had an epiphany,” said my Mom. “I realized that I just couldn’t carry that burden around with me any more. I was very hurt when my Mom died and I was upset that I had been made so miserable during a times when I should have been so happy.”

“I don’t know what was between you and Mom and I don’t want to know. I was angry at her for leaving you and just plain angry when she died, but I do not know and don’t care anymore if it was your fault or not, and I was angry far too long. Then just recently I realized recently that I just wasn’t angry anymore and I needed to apologize to my Dad. Do you still love me?”

“I have always loved you even if you were angry with me. I kind of knew you couldn’t be angry forever, but I am sad that so much time slipped by while we were waiting.”

He turned to look at me. “Mitchell,” he said. “Do you remember the last time we met?”

“Of course I do Grandpa. We met at that nice harbor front restaurant in San Diego a couple of years ago.”

“Well I hope we can all see each other a lot more now that I have come to me senses,” said my Mom. “We want you to come and visit us please Dad so we can get to know you again.”

We had a pleasant couple of hours talking to my Grandpa and he showed us some photographs of my Grandma with my Mom. They did look alike, especially as my Mom had now started wearing makeup. My grandma looked very young and attractive on every picture he showed us, but what also surprised me was how much I looked like both my mother and Grandma. My Grandpa even remarked on it, but he said handsome when he referred to me, but he did note that we had the same facial features.

“What do you do Grandpa,” I asked, “other than live in this house?”

“I have a couple of businesses that I own or have shares in Leslie, mostly to do with clothing of one sort or another. They are spread around southern and central California. I still have a keen interest in them and drive to them often.”

“So you drive all over California?” I asked.

“I love driving my cars,” he said. “If I couldn’t drive my beautiful cars it wouldn’t make this work I half so interesting.”

“Why? What cars do you have?” I asked.

“I guess we had better take a look!” he replied.

We walked back through the house and out onto the driveway.

“I like to take good care of my cars,” he said. “They are the only toys I ever wanted and owning them makes me feel special.”

Between us we grabbed the car cover from the front and lifted it over the car and he collected the cover in his arms. The car was a new looking Jaguar XKR convertible in red with a tan leather top. He reached into his pocket for the remote and the top started to fold itself back.

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

“If you like this you should see the others!” he said, so from his remote he opened up the garage door.

Inside there was a massive old grey Lincoln convertible. It looked just like the one that President Kennedy got shot in, suicide doors and all. It too was absolutely spotless. The one next to it was equally impressive but a little bit smaller. It was a white AMG C class Coupe. It looked brand new to me.

“Want to go for a ride in the Lincoln?” he asked.

“You bet I do,” I replied. Grandpa went inside to ask Mom if she wanted to come. She quickly came out to join us. We waited till Grandpa drove the Lincoln out of the garage before we got in because there was no room in the garage to open the doors.

We drove around the development then out onto the highway. The Lincoln was impressive because it was by far the biggest car we saw on the road while we were out there. The engine was nearly silent except when Grandpa really put his foot down and the ride was just like floating on air.

I noticed driving around his area that there were some really nice houses around and really nice cars parked in the driveways too, but that was similar to where we lived. Grandpa said that when I get my full license he will let me drive any of his cars, provided I keep them clean. I told him I would start working on my license right away. I was only a month off my birthday and I could start lessons now.

When we got back Grandpa made some food and we drank some herbal tea. Grandpa also gave us a tour of the house. It was huge. It had 3 big bedrooms each with their own bathroom and a huge entertaining room with 3 big leather couches and a big screen TV over the fireplace. The single level house was about 30 years old but Grandpa had bought it a year after Mom Grandma died so Mom lived there for a couple of years before Mom and Dad got married.

I asked my Grandpa how come he could afford all this, he said that his Dad was a haberdasher and his Mom and Dad came over from England in the late 40s when he and his older sisters were small. The business did quite well and so that Mom could have a share in the business they changed it to a Men’s and Women’s store, then it expanded again to become a family clothing store, then a big department store from out east came along and bought them out for a large sum of money.

“After the buyout my Dad started another similar business in the next town over,” said Grandpa, “and because LA was expanding so fast it too quickly became a success. When my Dad died I took over the business, and then another big department store from out east came over and bought us out again. This time I had to sign a contract that I would not open a completing store in the US. So I bought other stores.”

“What type of stores do you own now Grandpa?” I asked.

“I own specialty clothing stores and a couple of garden centers. I am not allowed by contract to own or have a share in any store with multiple departments like ‘men’s and ladies’ etc. I also have a part ownership in your Mom and Dad’s garden center.”

“The one my Mom and Dad work in?” I asked.

“The one your Mom and Dad own Mitch,” he said. “I still have a small cut but I think they are going to buy me out soon.”

“End of the year,” said my Mom. “Right after Mitch’s birthday.”

“I didn’t think you two had anything to do with each other.”

“Your Dad and I have always been friends,” said Grandpa. “I see him every couple of months and we have a beer together. He tells me what’s going on in the family and gives me photographs etc.”

“I didn’t know you owned the Garden center Mom. How come you never told me?”

“I don’t know Mitch. I guess it just never came up.”

“Does that mean we have bags of money Mom?”

“Not at all Mitch. All our money is tied up in the Garden Center.”

“Believe me Mitch,” said Grandpa, “on paper you Mom and Dad are worth a lot of money. They own the 17 acres of land that the garden center is on and the land alone is worth a couple of million per acre. Don’t let them sell you short.”

“Wow,” I said. “Now I am really looking forward to my 16th birthday present.”

“We were going to get you a new bicycle Mitch!” said my Mom.

“You must be kidding,” I said. “I should be expecting a car now!”

“We will see,” she said.

We stayed for a while longer then made our excuses and left after making arrangements for Grandpa to come visit us in a couple of weeks. It was a really pleasant couple of hours. We got back in the car and headed towards the highway.

“Well Mitchell.” Said my Mom. “What do you think we should do now?”

“I was thinking Mom, now that you have decided to become a pretty woman, maybe we should go find a nice shopping mall and find some more things to make you even prettier.”

“That doesn’t sound like a difficult decision to make,” she said. “Let’s go for it!”

I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms

I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 12
Sue gets a makeover and Mitch gets something for himself.

“Well Mitchell. What do you think we should do now?” said my Mom.

“”Why don’t we go to one of those professional make-up stores in the mall and get you a make-over?” I replied.

“Whatever made you think of that Mitch’” she said.

I had been thinking while looking at the pictures that my Grandma always wore beautiful professional looking makeup, but obviously my mother didn’t know much about applying makeup on herself. I had the idea that I could take her to one of those shopping mall beauty stores were they do makeovers for people while the wait, so I suggested it to my Mom.

“I saw all of those pictures of your mother and noticed that her makeup was always perfect,” I said, “but I think you might need a little help with yours. I hope you don’t mind me saying that.”

She did seem a little upset with me saying that but she agreed. We headed off back down Highway 5 to a mall where she remembered she had seen such a shop. We found the store just where she remembered it and found the makeover seat in the window was empty. My Mom strode boldly up to the counter.

“Hello, my name is Sue and I would like to get a makeover,” my Mom said.

“Do you have an appointment,” the girl at the counter said with a smile.

“No. Is that a problem?” said my Mom.

“No, but the only seat available is the one in the window. Is that a problem?”

“Not all,” said my Mom. “Are you going to start right now?”

“We sure are,” said the lady. “Why don’t you hop up in the chair and we will get started. Have you ever had a makeover before?”

“Let me explain dear,” my Mom said. “I chose not to wear makeup for many years but I have recently decided to start, but I know very little about the finer points, so please treat me like a beginner and explain everything.”

“I would be glad to. My name is Belinda and I am a certified beauty professional and I use only Lancá´me professional quality cosmetics.”

My Mom sat in the chair and the young lady started to explain. I sat behind the counter on a stool that seemed to be set up so people could watch so I sat and leaned onto the counter with my chin resting in my hands and watched intently. Belinda gave my Mom a facial scrub then moisturized before putting on some primer and foundation then going through all of the usual steps that I am beginning to get used to, brushed powder over the foundation, eye shadow then liner. She continued with mascara, powdered blush, lip liner, lipstick and lip-gloss.

My mom looked totally radiant when her makeup was finished. She was trying not to smile but she couldn’t help it. My mom now looked a lot younger than the 36 she was, instead of the mid forties old maid that she used to look like. Her eyes looked amazing, so big and bright. I was totally jealous and wished that I could get the same treatment and I convinced myself that one day I would.

“I notice you don’t have your ears pierced,” said Belinda. “Have you ever thought about getting them done? I would be glad to do them for you if you have a few moments.”

My mom looked at me as if to ask permission. I nodded my head and so she agreed to get her ears pierced. Belinda walked off to get a selection of studs to show my mother.”

“Mom,” I said gingerly. “Is there any way that you could let me get my ears pierced as well? Many of the boys in school have them.”

My mother thought about it for a few moments then agreed. “I don’t suppose your Dad will have too much of a problem with it. He used to have one himself when he was younger. Half the young guys who work for him have both ears pierced. Go ahead and pick some for yourself.”

Belinda was returning with a tray of gold and diamond earrings. “Belinda, my mom said I can get my ears pierced too.”

“That’s terrific,” said Belinda turning to my Mother. “I recommend these cubic zirconium’s with gold posts as good starters. I have enough here for both you and your daughter.”

My mother instantly developed this odd look on her face then she sucked in a chest full of air and closed her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” said Belinda realizing that something amiss. “I did I say something wrong?”

I held out my hand as if to shake Belinda’s hand and I smiled. “Hi Belinda. My name is Mitchel and I’m a boy.”

Now it was Belinda’s turn to be shocked. She took a sharp intake of breath and put her hand to her mouth and looked back and forth between my mother and me, then she held out her right hand and placed it in mine.

“I’m really sorry,” she said to me. “I hope I haven’t offended you, its just that you look so,” she paused to consider what she would say for a few moments, “cute!” she said.

“I suppose cute isn’t too bad,” I said.

“You haven’t done anything wrong Belinda so don’t worry about it,” said my Mom. “It’s just a shock to hear my darling boy be mistaken for a girl, again. It’s been a while since it happened, but it’s not the first time. I was only telling Mitch this morning how much he looks like my mother. My mother’s beauty is obviously in his genes.”

“And yours too. Please forgive me Sue but he looks very much like you. I was going to try to complement you both by saying you look like sisters but I guess I would be wasting my time now wouldn’t I?” said Belinda trying to make light of the situation.

“Mitch are you really sure you want to get your ears pierced,” said my Mom. “It may make you look even more feminine than you look now.”

“I’m not going to back out now Mom. I have wanted my ears pierced for a long time. When I comb my hair forward over my eyes I will look like the old me again Mom so don’t worry. I only look this way because my hair has been blowing about in the car.”

I hoped I wasn’t trying too hard but I really didn’t want this opportunity to go begging. I really wanted to feel the sensation of dangling earrings brushing against my face and neck.

“If you don’t like them you can just take then out,” said Belinda. “The hole will close up any you will never know.”

We all agreed to proceed and get both out ears done and we both chose the gold cubic zirconium studs. Mom said we could get real diamonds later when our ears were used to earrings. Yes it was a sharp pinch but the pain didn’t last more than an instant.

I felt really pleased with myself. Not as pleased as I would be if I still had my dresses, but having the earrings made up for it somewhat. I looked in the mirror and brushed my hair behind one ear with my hand. I knew I looked feminine and they knew it too, but they didn’t know that I wanted to look feminine. I also knew that I couldn’t go to school looking like this, but my usual heavy dose of hair gel would mat my hair down over my face making me look like the usual Mitch.

Before we left that beauty store Mom bought one of everything that Belinda had used on her and a couple of other lipsticks and eye shadows of different colors to experiment with and we walked out of the store with a hefty bag full.

On the way back out of the mall I noticed my mom shuffle straight past a couple of really nice dress stores without looking, almost like she was avoiding them.

“Hold on Mom,” I said and I turned to look at the nice dresses. She notice where I was looking and obviously tried to change the subject.

“We have got to get home for your Father coming back Mitch,” she said without reference to the dress store.

“Mom!” I said staring down my nose at her. “An attractive young lady like you should never go past a dress store without checking to see if there is anything inside that could improve her closet.”

“So what do you want me to do Mitch. Start buying every dress I see?”

“No Mom, I think you should check out a few dresses to see if there is one dress that you could buy. There is a big difference. I bet its years since you last went into a dress shop and bought a dress.”

“OK you caught me. I used to go in dress stores with my mother, but I never did like it. I was the martyr remember. I haven’t been is a store like this since my mom died.”

“So tell me?” I said. “With an attitude like that, how did you ever get a wedding dress?”

“Oh that was your father’s mother. She took me to a dressmaker and I got her to make me the plainest dress you could imagine. Just white silk with no frills. Long sleeves and a high neck line. You couldn’t see any part of me except my hands and face. I can’t believe looking back on things how totally silly I was,” said my Mother.

But at that moment her demeanor changed and she began to look assertive. “Let’s go and find me some nice dresses!” she said. She took me buy the hand and we strolled into ‘Pacifica’.

We approached the first rack of short cocktail dresses. My Mom ran her hands over some of them and pulled a couple off the rack to have a better look. “Do I need a dress like this?” she asked me.

“Are you going to any cocktail party or a high school prom in the near future Mom?” I asked.

“Not the right kind of dress for me you think.”

“Sure I could see you wearing a nice dress like that, but wait until you have the right occasion, then you can go out looking for that special dress for that special occasion. Why don’t you ask the sales assistant for everyday wear, to wear out shopping or going out for a meal? She will know what you need.”

One of the sales assistants came over and helped Mom find some nice dresses. The first that caught my Mom’s attention was a rack of soft stretchy sundresses in a host of different colors. She picked a blue one, a beige pattered one and a black one. Then the lady took her to the back of the store were the changing rooms are.

I occupied myself by looking through the fantastic cocktail dresses. I was looking at this one in particular with a stiff bodice and a soft layered skirt in a bronze and brown two-tone shimmering material with gold trim and no straps. I turned the dress around to find that it closed at the back with leather straps and buckles. I was astounded.

I held the dress at arms length wondering how wonderful it would be to wear that dress with matching shoes and jewelry and an evening bag. I was picturing myself when one the sales assistants came quietly up behind me. I didn’t know she was there until she whispered in my ear.

“Want to try it on?” she said.

I pulled my hands away from the dress. “I can’t try that dress on.” I said and turned towards her.

“Why not?” she said. “We have it in your size.” I wasn’t sure but she may have been a little condescending in her tone.

“My Mom is over there trying dresses on and she might see me.”

“So? If you can try on dresses, why can’t you?”

This young woman in front of me was very pretty and her makeup was beautiful. She was tall, slim and probably a little younger than my Mom. She was wearing a black skirt above the knee, a matching short sleeve jacket and a white lacy top that revealed a hint of cleavage. I didn’t want to tell her I was a boy but I thought I had no choice, so I whispered to her.

“I can’t try that dress on because I am a boy.”

Her expression didn’t change. “I thought you might be,” she said, “but that doesn’t have to stop you.”

“You serious,” I said. “You would let me try one of your dresses on even though you know I am a boy?”

“Sure!” she said. “I will even go over to your mother and tell her you went to the men’s store across the hall while she selects a couple more dresses. You go into that room and I will bring it over. What size shoes do you wear?”

I didn’t know if I should believe it or not. This woman that I didn’t know was going to let me try on this fantastic nine hundred-dollar dress, even though she knew I was a boy. I didn’t know what to think, but I knew I couldn’t pass up the chance.

“Well?” she said.

“Six in men’s sizes,” I said, and after she had looked around the store to see where everyone was she motioned me towards an unmarked door at the side of the store. I went in. It was like a storeroom with various dresses and things hanging from racks, then I noticed measuring, cutting and sowing tools. There were a couple of large mirrors and a tailor’s dummy. This must be a dressmaker’s workshop.

I was only there for a few seconds when the lady came back with two dresses, a pair of shoes and some tights.

“OK take your clothes off,” she said. I looked at her inquisitively but said nothing.

“That’s part of the deal,” she said.

I did no more than to throw off my sandals, shirt and shorts leaving me in just my bikini bottoms and I was already tucked back.

“Are you sure you are not a girl?” she said. Then she reached across me and placed her hand on my growing erection. My hands reacted slower than hers and I ended up with my two hands on top of her hand touching my penis through my bikini bottoms. She gentle rubbed the base of my backwards pointing penis with her fingers.

“I guess you are,” she said smiling at me. I had never been treated like that by anyone and I didn’t know what to do so I didn’t do anything. I let her take control.

I was very excited by her and wondering what was going to happen next. She was leaning into me now and her other arm was behind my shoulders. Her breasts touched my arm and chest and I could feel the lacy material of her bra from under her soft silky top. Her perfume was exciting and her presence was amazingly sexually stimulating.

She tilted her head towards me and kissed me full on the mouth. My eyes instinctively closed as I let her tongue ramble around my mouth and across my tongue for a few seconds. She was so delicious I felt like I could fall into a trance in her arms. She pulled back and looked at me. It took me a second or two to notice her eyes staring into mine.

“You haven’t done this before have you?” she said.

“Done what?” I said.

“You have no idea what effect a boy like you can have on some people. Let me tell you. As a boy I would find you totally uninteresting. As a girl I might find you quite attractive. But as a girl looking like you do with that packet between your legs you are phenomenal. From the moment I saw you I just knew that this was going to happen.”

“What happen?” I said.

I had no idea what she was talking about. I just wanted try on this dress but I was getting the feeling that she wanted something else as well. Then she handed me the now opened tights which I put on. They sent shivers through my body as I put them on, but I held myself together waiting for the dress.

She gave me the shoes. They were gold and glittery open toed pumps with an ankle strap with heels of at least 5 inches. I put them on and they fit perfectly even though I did not know how I was going to walk in them.

Then she handed me the dress. She had already opened the straps at the back. She held the dress for me to step into while leaning forward. I couldn’t stop myself from looking down her top and seeing her wonderful breasts cupped in a low cut demi bra. I could see the top of her nipples.

I couldn’t believe what I was doing. Here I was wearing nothing but tights with a beautiful sales assistant holding this fantastic dress open for me to put on. I was shaking, but I couldn’t stop.

I stepped into the dress and she turned me around to fasten the straps. The dress was wonderfully soft and silky on the inside and waves of pleasure were rippling up my legs and all the way up my body. My erection was straining inside by my bikini bottoms but fortunately it could not get out.

“This is a two,” she said, “but I also brought a four in case it was too tight.”

She pulled me in tight at the waist as she pulled on the lowest strap and snapped the pin into the buckle, releasing the pressure ever so slightly.

“Perfect,” she said. “Right first time.”

She roughly pulled and closed the second strap then the third. My body was being held stiff as the corset top of the dress was closed tightly around my upper body. She closed the top strap and a row of skin appeared above the top of the dress like breasts overflowing a small bra.

“Incredible!” she said. “You are a very beautiful boy. But before you see yourself I have one more thing to add.”

She pulled out a brush and brushed my hair back away from my face then she pulled out a silver tiara from her purse and arranged it on my head.

“Fantastic!” she said. Then she put her arm around my now slim waist and walked me over to the mirror.

I was a little rickety walking across the room but the sight I was in the mirror was astonishing. Sophia was back again. The rumbling stirring motion between my legs made me want to reach for myself but I couldn’t. I was with someone.

“The look on your face is gratifying,” she said, “and I think I know what you need now.”

She said walking around in front of me. She kissed my on the mouth again and her tongue wandered further around my mouth before she broke away, then she reached for a folded blanket that was sitting on the table beside us and placed it on the floor in front of my toes. It was only then did I realize what I was in for.

“Now it’s your turn to give something to me,” she said, and she got down of her knees in front of me. “Just don’t mess my hair!” she said.

The lady lifted my skirt above my waist for me to hold clear. I held it with two hands. Then she reached around my waist and pulled my tights and bikini top down onto my thighs. My erection sprung slowly up in front of her and she kissed and licked the end to stop the drops of pre come from dropping down onto my tights.

She took the head of my penis in her mouth and ran her tongue around the head under the foreskin. The sensations were astonishing and it took all my effort to hold myself still while this was going on. She had one hand around the base of my penis holding my skin back while the other was around my hips and between the cheeks of my ass under my dress holding me still. The sight of my penis disappearing into her mouth was astonishing.

She sucked for all she was worth and pulled her head backwards for me to feel the full effect. I could only wonder in amazement at the sensations I was feeling. Then she gently hummed from her throat as my prick went back inside her mouth till her nose touched my body causing a different sensation.

I looked up at the sight in front of me. From the waist up this pretty young girl looked back at me with astonishment in her eyes while this attractive blond woman impaled her face on my penis, but I could not keep my eyes open. She repeated this sucking and humming time and time again till I couldn’t hold myself any longer. I started exploding into her mouth and she moved her hands till she had one on each ass cheek holding me deep in her throat as she moved her head from side to side and hummed rhythmically.

All of my dick was deep inside her and her tongue pressed me against the roof of her mouth. One of my hands let go of the dress and the ends of my fingers pressed against the back of her head. I didn’t want this moment to stop but I just couldn’t last any longer.

She sensed when I had stopped coming and pulled back to start licking and cleaning the come from my tool. I could not stand this for more than a few seconds as the pleasure became so intense it began to hurt till I pulled myself away for her and she placed my penis back inside my bikini bottoms and tights and pulled my dress back down.

She then stool up in front of me smiling and looking very pleased with her self. She then kissed me full on the mouth again, but this time the taste was different and she was pushing a sweet creamy liquid gel into my mouth.

I realized then I was tasting my own come for the first time. It wasn’t unpleasant but just knowing that it was my come surprised me and made me want to pull back but she held me tight with one hand around the back of my head and made sure that I was not going to loose any of it.

I swallowed and felt its stickiness run down my throat. It felt oddly satisfying. I couldn’t have stopped her. I felt like all of my strength had just left my body through the end of my penis and all I wanted to do was curl up on the floor and go to sleep, but I knew I couldn’t. My Mom would be wondering where I was.

The moment was now passing. We relaxed our grip on each other and she looked into my eyes.

“You a virgin?” she said. I nodded my head. “Wonderful. I will have to get a photo for my scrap book.” Then she produced a small camera from her purse and took a picture of me.

“Can I see?” I asked and she showed me the image on the back. One hundred percent girl! I thought to myself admiringly.

“You can come back and do that again some time if you want you know,” she told me.

“Where do you live?”

“Laguna Beach,” I said. “I don’t have a car so I won’t find it easy to get here.”

“Never mind, how old are you anyway?” she asked.

“I will be sixteen in a couple of weeks.”

“Well what we did was technically illegal so do not tell anyone or you will get me in big trouble, but if you are ever passing this was be sure to look me up. And if you can ever arrange to come in here wearing a dress and makeup I will show you a time you will never forget.”

“I will never forget this!” I said. “But I don’t know your name!”

“And you don’t need to know my name. If you are passing and I am here then fine and maybe we can do something, if not then we just can’t. That is the only way I can do this. I work Sunday through Thursday from noon till closing.”

I had no choice but to accept. I was weak and unsteady on my feet for a couple of minutes and my boy parts were buzzing like I had been shocked with electricity. The pretty lady helped me take the dress off and get back into my boring boys clothes and get smartened up a little. She gave me the tights and I stuffed them in my cargo shorts pocket.

She went out of the room before me to check where my mother was. When she came back she told me that my mother had just gone across the hall into the men’s store to look for me with a large bag full of pretty dresses in her hand. I left the room still feeling shell shocked, walked out of the store and into the men’s store opposite, my Mother was coming out as I got to the door.

“Mitch where have you been I have been looking for you?”

“I had to got to the bathroom Mom and to be honest I don’t feel very well. Must be something I ate.”

“You do look a little pale dear. Maybe we had just better go home and you will feel better OK?”

I nodded my head and smiled at her then we left the mall and headed for the car. We drove home without talking much, apart from mom telling me about her new dresses and that fact that the sales girl had advised her to get her legs waxed which she would do while I was at school tomorrow.

School! I had not thought about school for the entire weekend. How could I go back to school after all that had happened this weekend? I would have to wear my hair down over my face again and go back to wearing baggy cargo shorts and multiple t-shirts.

I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms

I didn’t know it could be like this. Chapter 13

Dinner with the Martini's

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School! I had not thought about school for the entire weekend.

How could I go back to school after all that had happened this weekend? I felt like a totally different person from the one who left school on Friday afternoon. In two days I spilled more juices than I had in my entire life before that. I felt like I had been wasting my time all of these years.

But I also wanted to wear dresses and makeup. Now I was conflicted even more. If I was to become a girl, there is no way to enjoy what I had just done with the woman in the dress store.

She didn’t want me because I was a girl. She wanted me because I was a girl with a packet between my legs that other girls didn’t have. A girl with a bonus. There was no way I was going to give that up. I didn’t know what to do. I had nobody to talk to or ask for advice. Or did I? Maybe I could talk to Lauren.

I texted Lauren to ask her if I could come over. She said OK but only for an hour as they were having a big family supper. I asked my Mom to drop me off at Lauren’s and we were there in ten minutes.

My Mom dropped me off at Lauren’s and drove off as soon as Lauren opened the door. I had said I would be back home by 6:30, long before it got dark. Lauren pulled me into the brightly lit hallway and gave me a nice little hug and I returned her embrace. Then she held me back at arms length to look at me.

“My goodness Mitch with your hair combed back like that and with diamond earrings you look like a girl,” said Lauren in astonishment. “What ever are we going to do with you? You can’t go to school looking like that.”

Then Mrs. Martini having heard the front door came to see who was there. “Why Mitch,” she said. “You look very different today. Nice diamond earrings.”

“They are only cubic zirconium!” I said.

“Still Mitch you look very nice to say the least, but has you’re father seen you looking like that today?”

“No he hasn’t,” I said.

“Well I would do something with your hair before you go home if I were you. Don’t get me wrong you look very nice but I don’t think any father of a fifteen year old boy would want to see his son looking like you do right now.”

I was stuck for something to say. I wanted to look pretty and I appreciated the complement but I didn’t want Mrs. Martini to know that I wanted to look like a girl or that I thought what she was saying was a complement. I just stood there smiling back at her, and then somehow Mrs. Martini caught on.

“Hold on!” she said. “You are enjoying looking like this aren’t you? You are trying to look like a girl.” Then she turned to Lauren. “Freakin Jesus Lauren you’re helping him aren’t you?” Lauren didn’t say anything either she just opened her mouth.

The silence was deafening. Neither of us could say anything. I was tuning into a bucket of mush. Tears were forming in my eyes and Lauren wasn’t doing much better. Mrs. Martini ushered both of us of the stairs.

“Up to Lauren’s room both of you and quietly. I do not want your father to get wind of this.”

I stood in Lauren’s room and Lauren sat on her bed and looked at me. She reached out for me with one hand and I sat on the bed next to her and held hands. Tears were rolling down my cheeks.

Mrs. Martini closed the door and moved to stand in front of me. “Whatever are we going to do with you?” she said. I didn’t think that question needed and answer. She walked to Lauren’s dresser and brought a chair so she could sit down in front of us. She sat down and looked into our eyes.

“So how far have you gone with this. Have you been wearing each others clothes?”

“No silly!” said Lauren. “I haven’t been wearing Mitch’s clothes.”

“Thank goodness for small mercies,” said Mrs. Martini. “But this is not silly Lauren in fact it is very serious. So you have obviously been wearing Lauren’s clothes Mitch. Do you think your Mother have any idea?”

“I can’t say for sure, but today we were talking about how much I look like her and her mother. I was even mistaken for a girl in front of my mother today while we were out together,” I said.

“I am not surprised. You certainly do look like a pretty girl right now, but she has no idea that you like to wear dresses?”

“I really don’t think so.” I said.

“So how long has this been going on?”

“Just yesterday.”

“Just Yesterday? You two are not very good at keeping secrets are you?”

I still couldn’t think of anything to say. This was definitely part of my plans. Now I felt like a stupid little kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. No excuses. I was just going to have to accept my punishment whatever it was.

Lauren’s Mom turned to Lauren. “Now you have got me curious. Just how good does he look in a dress?”

“He looks very pretty!” said Lauren. “Apart from being a little wider in the waist he is exactly the same size as me.”

“Well let me see then. Go put a dress on and let me have a look.”

Lauren and I looked at each other then looked back at her mother.

“It’s OK,” she said. “I am not going to tell anyone. I have had my suspicions about you for a while Mitch. When you were a kid I always thought you would look pretty in a dress. I will go downstairs and continue preparing our supper so Lauren you put some makeup on Mitch and select a nice dress for him. I want to see what he looks like dressed up. When you are done come down and see me in the kitchen.

“The Kitchen Mom!” said Lauren.

“There is nobody else here for the next hour. Your father has just gone out to pick his mother up from her apartment and won’t be here till 6 o’clock. You have plenty of time. You can be ready in fifteen minutes no problem. I will be downstairs.” Mrs. Martini left the room and headed downstairs.

“What on earth are we going to do now?” I said to Lauren.

“You are going to put on a dress and some make-up,” she said. “Come on lets start with some makeup.”

Now I was stuck. There was no way out of this except running out of the front door and not coming back. I didn’t think that was an option so I prepared to be dressed as a girl again. We pulled the chair back to the dresser where I sat and Lauren watched me put my makeup on. All of the usual stuff. I was getting better at it now as I had done it a couple of times.

We tried to do the makeup light with only a little eye liner and only a little color over the eyes with pale pink lipstick and no gloss. Then Lauren combed my hair and added a slide to one side where she brushed that side over my ear then used some hair spray to make it stay in place.

Then we went to her closet where I threw off my shorts and Lauren saw the bikini bottoms looking a little damp and dirty.

“You had better get rid of those,” she said.

She went to her dresser and brought back a full white corset, a pair of white control panties, maxipad, with some chicken fillets to fill out the chest space. She pulled and tugged on me for a couple of minutes till I had a slim little waist and a decent little pair of little tits that stuck out in front of me like lemons.

The view and the sensation gave me a tingle in my extra bits and an extra degree of smile on my face. She then gave me a pair of medium tan tights, which I put on, then a white full slip that went down to mid thigh. Everything felt wonderful as it went on but I had very little time to appreciate it all because I felt that time was against us.

Lauren went into the closet and came out with an exquisite purple and blue patterned sleeveless wrap dress with a plunging v neckline that really didn’t reveal anything of my chest apart from a hint of cleavage. It had a thin belted waist and a multilayer hem finishing a couple inches above the knee. She opened the back zipper and held it for me while I stepped into it.

There was that feeling again. It was astonishing to me to feel so feminine wrapped in such sensuous soft and silky material. It sent shivers up and down my entire body as she closed the zipper and Lauren saw the look of rapture on my face.

“No time to enjoy yourself now,” said Lauren. “Put those black pumps on and let’s get downstairs to see my mother before anyone else comes.”

We walked out of the bedroom down the stairs into the grand entranceway. I had only a brief look at myself in the mirrors while passing but I knew I looked fantastic. I felt fantastic too. But what Mrs. Martini would think only the next few moments would tell.

“My goodness you are beautiful,” said Mrs. Martini walking in from the kitchen. “You look every bit as beautiful as Lauren does in that dress. I would never have believed it unless I saw it for myself.”

Now I was feeling very self conscious. Mrs. Martini knew I was a boy, and would see me as a boy in the near future and knew what I looked like as a girl. Life I feel is going to get very confusing from now on. I stood in the entranceway posing for her for a few moments while she looked me up and down.

“OK Mom can we get him back into his regular thing before anyone comes?”

“Not yet Lauren. The two of you come and sit down and Mitch is going to tell me how he feels wearing a dress and looking pretty. Come and sit with me in the kitchen for a moment.”

We followed Mrs. Martini into the kitchen and we sat around the kitchen table.
“You did a nice job on the hair and makeup considering you only had a couple of minutes,” she said.

“Thanks you,” both Lauren and I answered together.

“So tell me Mitch. How does it feel to be sitting here in a dress talking to me? I need you to tell me this so I can understand where to go with this because this wearing dresses thing is not going to stop here I’m sure. Tell me how you feel?”

How did I feel? I felt stupid I knew that. What was I going to say? I feel the wetness in your daughter’s panties around my semi erect penis. I feel the corset pushing my chest up to make my tits stick out in front of me. I realized I had to say how I felt without mentioning the sexual excitement part.

“Take your time Mitch but don’t take all night!” said Mrs. Martini.

“I do feel stupid being called Mitch when I am wearing a dress and I know I look like a girl.”

“So do you have a girl’s name?’ asked Mrs. Martini.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I call myself Sophia Martini.”
“Martini!” asked Mrs. Martini. “Why are you using our name?”

“Because Lauren told me that you told her that you almost called her Sophia and the names sound so beautifully romantic together, and we could say that Lauren and I are cousins or sisters.”

“I see,” she said. “I have always loved the name Sophia and at times we do consider you to be part of the family. I am OK with that, but I need to know what you are feeling wearing a dress and looking so pretty.”

“Well. I have a lot of conflicting feelings going on right now. Firstly I am embarrassed to be sitting here in front of you because you know that I am a boy and the next time you see me I will be in boys’ clothes and it feels weird that you know that about me.”

“OK I can understand that, but what else. How does the dress make you feel?”

“The dress makes me feel pretty. I feel proud of the fact that I can be pretty. Nobody thinks I am attractive as a boy.”

“But Lauren loves you. Doesn’t that count?”

“It is wonderful to think that Lauren loves me, but that’s not the same. Lauren and I have been best friends since long before I knew the difference between girls and boys, and I have always loved her because we get on so well together.”

“But don’t you think that Lauren is attracted to you sexually now because I know she is.”

Now I felt embarrassed but how could I be any more embarrassed than I already was. I was a boy wearing a dress getting the third degree from my girlfriend’s mother.

“I never feel attractive as a boy and I don’t know why Lauren is attracted to me other that we are best friends and have been since we were tiny.”

“So you only feel attractive when you are dresses as a girl then?”

“I feel more attractive. Girls don’t normally look at me at all. They seem to go straight to the big tough looking guys like Carter and Warren.”

“So do you want to be attractive to Carter and Warren?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t want to kiss boys or anything.”

“But it looks like that is what you are trying to do. Dressed like that there are very few young men who could resist you. Most girls who dress like you would love to be kissed by Carter or Warren. Why don’t you?”

“Because I am a boy.”

“Are you sure, or do you really feel like a girl inside.”

“I am not sure. I like feeling like a girl, but I don’t know if I want to be a girl all of the time. I think that because I am a boy, I enjoy feeling like a girl sometimes. I think I might enjoy feeling like a girl even more than you do because you are a girl all of the time. Maybe I enjoy feeling like a girl because I can’t be a girl. Does that make sense?”

“OK I think I am beginning to get the picture. I am comfortable with your answers. Now go and get into your boy clothes before someone comes. We will talk about this some more when we have time.”

We started walking down the hall towards the front entranceway and the stairs, but at that very moment we got to the entranceway, in through the front door walked Lauren’s dad and three other people I didn’t know, blocking our way so we couldn’t move past. There was an older lady and a younger couple in their twenties. Mr. Martini was telling the older lady that Mrs. Martini, it seems her name is Sandra, had been cooking all afternoon when his eyes found mine.

Lauren’s Dad looked at me and suddenly developed one of those ‘I am really good looking’ kind of smiles and made his way towards me. I was frozen to the spot and didn’t know where to look.

“OK someone help me out. Do I have another beautiful daughter I didn’t know about?” he said.

Lauren stepped forward. “This is Sophia. She is a friend of mine from school. She was just leaving.”

No I was not I thought to myself. I couldn’t go outside in these clothes, but there again I did yesterday, but I had nowhere to go right now. The other people in the room were saying hi and giving each other hugs. I wanted to be hugged too but they didn’t know that.

“We are very please to meet you Sophia,” said Mr. Martini “You are a very pretty girl, just as pretty as our beautiful Lauren, and almost as pretty as my beautiful wife I must add.” He was flirting, but only as much as he could with his wife, daughter and mother in the same room.

Then his mother slapped him on the hand. ”What about me?” she said winking at Lauren and me. “You told be I was the prettiest girl around.”

“You have caught me out again Mother. But please forgive me. There are so many beautiful women gathered together in the same room its making head spin.”

“Jack!” Mrs. Martini had moved to Mr. Martini’s side and was doing the two arms on one of his trick. He turned and was instantly under control. “Take out guests into the family room and get them some drinks.”

“The family room” he asked.

“Yes darling. They will be able to watch the sun go down over the bay from there. I have to speak to Lauren and Sophia.” Mrs. Martini waited as the guests and Mr. Martina went down the hallway and disappeared from sight.

“I am surprised he didn’t ask you to stay for dinner. My husband thought you were very attractive young Sophia.”

Just then Mr. Martini came back to the end of the hallway. “Why don’t you ask young Sophia to stay for dinner darling? I am always happy to have Lauren’s friends around.”

“Yes I know Jack. I am asking her now,” said Sandra.

They were both looking at me. Did they actually expect me to stay for dinner?

“You can if you want you know,” said Sandra. “Jack is very taken with you and I am sure the rest of the family would like to meet you.”

“This is insane.” I said to them. “He thinks that I am a girl and you are willing to let him flirt with me.”

“Listen Miss Sophia,” Said Sandra. “You started this and I have only invited you for dinner. Jack will take them all home in a couple of hours and you can get changed at your leisure before you go home. Anyway this will be a nice experience for you, doing the dishes and stuff.”

“Mom, dishes?” said Lauren. “You usually let Dad do the dishes.”

“He is doing all of the driving tonight, anyway, how could we possibly explain Sophia going up stairs to your room, then Mitch coming downstairs and going home,” said Sandra. “This is the best way. Trust me. And you will have fun.”

“I’ll call your mother,” said Sandra picking up the phone. “Sue, this is Sandra. I have Mitch here and I have invited him to stay for dinner.” And they continued to talk while I paid attention to Lauren. Lauren had wrapped both her hands around my arm and was preparing to start flirting with me.

“Sophie,” she said. “Why don’t we go up to my room for a while? I haven’t had time to do my makeup and I think you could help me with it.” Lauren started walking me up the stairs towards her bedroom.

“Sophia.” Sandra called up the stairs after us. “Your mother is fine with everything. I said I would give you a ride home before 10pm because it is a school night and I know you girls need your beauty sleep.”

I knew she enjoyed saying that. Jez now I was going to have to stay dressed as girl and exchange pleasantries with Lauren’s Grandmother. Not what I had planned for the evening but there again I didn’t have anything planned for this evening. I only really came over to say hi to Lauren and maybe get those pills.

Lauren closed her bedroom door behind us then pushed me down onto her bed where she climbed on top of me putting one knee between my legs. She kissed me heavily with her tongue half way down my throat and I couldn’t move, nor did I want to.

“Goodness freek Lauren.” I said trying to get some air, “Please don’t ever stop but what have I done to deserve this.”

“I wanted to show you what you would be missing if you really decided you wanted to become a girl. I realized from what you said to my mother that you don’t really know what you want so I thought I could put up some good arguments. Am I being the least bit persuasive?”

“You sure are Lauren. Any minute I am going to burst out of my panties.”

“Now that is still not allowed baby girl but I think I may be able to go a little further the next time we are alone, so you are on a promise OK?”

“OK” I said.

There was a knock at Lauren’s door. We both sat upright and Lauren walked over to open the door. I heard the bed make a noise when we got up.

“Ellen,” said Lauren opening the door.

“I hope I am not interrupting anything. Your mother said you were coming up here to do makeup so I thought I would join you,” said the girl I had not been introduced to earlier.

“Oh sure, come in. We were just playing a silly game,” said Laren.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me. I have girlfriends of my own and I know there is nothing like a good hug from your best friend.” Ellen came over to me.

“Hi I’m Ellen Trang. I am engaged to Stu, Lauren’s cousin.” She said reaching out her hand.

“I’m Sophia or Sophie whatever. Nice to meet you.”

Ellen was very pretty. She had long wavy dark hair and deep brown eyes. She wore small rimless glasses but they did not hide her beautiful eyes and high cheekbones. I guessed she was in her twenties. I was also guessing that he had more than a little Asian influence in her family history.

“Can I give you a hug,” she said. “I noticed that when everyone else was getting hugs you looked kind of left out.”

“Sure,” I said thinking that sounded a little foreword buy what the hey.

I put my arms out to her and she moved in between them. She wrapped her arms around me and held every inch of me against her, one hand around my waist and the other to my neck gently pushing my head down into her neck as put my arms around her. She smelled wonderful as my face was buried in her hair and our stomachs laid flat against each other and her very adequate chest melded into mine.

She was incredible. She gently kissed my my neck just below my ear in a spot where I knew Lauren couldn’t see because she was on the other side and made me shiver. Then she moved back and held me at arms length.

“You are a very beautiful young woman and I hope we can become good friends,” she said, “just like Lauren and I are. In fact the same as all of the Martini women are, good friends who share all of our secrets but never our men. Isn’t that right Lauren?”

“You bet,” said Lauren. I wasn’t totally convinced that Lauren was completely at ease with Ellen yet but she did say all of the right things. She certainly sounded like one of the Martini women. Stick together no secrets and all that stuff. I remember Miranda saying those kind of things.

“So you know Miranda,” I said, then I instantly regretted it. Sophia didn’t know Miranda, only Mitch did.

“Of course and how long have you known Miranda, Sophie.”

“Er, no I don’t actually.” I said tying to cover up. “But Lauren has told me that she was a model and that she had given Lauren some of her collection of clothes, some of them new with the labels still on.”

“Is that so Lauren. I haven’t spoken to Miranda in a couple of weeks. She said she was going to let me have a look through her closet some time but we haven’t got around to it yet. I will have to call her. A girl has always got room in her closet for another designer dress, isn’t that so Sophie?”

I didn’t answer but I smiled for her.

“We will make sure that you get to meet Miranda as she loves to meet all of Lauren’s friends and keep tabs on the good looking women in the area”

Ellen looked at me like she knew something I didn’t. Ellen had a different personality to the other Martini women, maybe because she had become one by marriage and not birth. She seemed more mysterious and closed than say Miranda and Lauren’s mother appeared as they always appeared open and welcoming, but Ellen certainly fit right in with her good looks and immaculate dress sense.

“I will speak to Miranda and see what we can arrange Ellen,” said Lauren.

“I think we should start with you Sophia,” said Ellen. “Sit down in the chair and let me take a closer look.”

I sat down and Ellen picked up an eyeliner pencil and a tiny cotton bud and started working around my eyes. It was a surreal experience having this beautiful woman so close to me working on my makeup. As she worked she was just inches from my face. I could feel and taste her sweet breath on me and see every skin pore and every individual eyelash as I looked back at her.

“I wish I had time to shape your eyebrows Sophie. You would look much better if you let me widen the gap between them and thin them out a little. They do look a little boyish you know. Doesn’t you Mother help you with them?”

“My mother doesn’t wear makeup very often. She just doesn’t bother. She never comments on mine as long as I don’t wear too much.”

“That a pity,” said Ellen. “Girls need help from their mothers while they are young like you. I bet Miranda would love to help you when she gets her new studio up and running. You and Lauren are just the type of girls she needs to act as models for her to practice her makeup skills and such.”

“I will look forward to it Ellen,” I said.

This much in my face femininity together with these clothes and the way I looked has playing havoc with my boy bits. I really wanted to kiss her while she was so close and being oh so friendly and forward.

Her breasts brushed against my arm as she worked on me and I could taste her breath inside my open mouth. I was feeling intoxicated with her perfume and the sensations of the clothes I was wearing and I couldn’t help but close my eyes for a second of two.

“You seem a little tired Sophia,” said Ellen.

“It’s been a long day,” I said. “I went out shopping with my mother.”

“That’s always nice,” she said. “Buy anything you really wanted?”

“I got my ear’s pierced,” I said.

“For the first time?” asked Ellen. “I thought that most girl’s got their ears pierced one there first birthday’s around here.”

“Lauren only got hers done a week ago,” I said.

“Wow you two are definitely late starters. OK so I think you are done Sophia. I hope the look I have given you is not too old for you. I did give you a little more color around the eyes which tends to make them look deeper.”

Lauren appreciated the look Ellen have given me and she wanted to look the same so Ellen obliged her. After that Ellen touched up her own makeup then Lauren and I added some lip gloss and we were ready to go downstairs.

I had butterflies in my stomach but I had confidence that I look a very convincing girl. I had just had my makeup touched up by a very pretty women who I was certain had no idea that I was a boy and she got so close I could have kissed her. But still the idea of sitting at a dinner table with people four who did not know that I was a boy in a dress was freaking me out. Lauren took me into the kitchen to see her Mom.

“Sophia you look beautiful, as do you Lauren. Ellen is really good with makeup isn’t she?”

She had changed from her usual jeans and tank top and was now wearing a dark blue lace dress with short sleeves and a low neckline showing her wonderful cleavage to its maximum effect. She would not be outdone by the 3 younger women in the room, especially when one of them was a boy.

“Are you OK Sophia?” she said.

“I can’t believe you are making me do this when you know what I am Mrs. Martini.” I said quietly to her.

“Oh chill out Sophia. Nobody knows and you look very pretty. Please just enjoy the company. They are all nice people and are waiting to hear you say something. Just enjoy the conversation and relax, and whatever you do don’t squirm in you seat. You must be confident young lady and join in with the conversation.”

Lauren held my hand as we walked into the dining room. “Sophia you come and sit next to me,” said Sandra.

I sat between Lauren and her mother. It turns out so the three of us could get up to serve the others because we were nearer the kitchen without disturbing the others.

The conversation started with enquiries as to when Stu and Ellen would get married. They had set a date next year but had yet to find a suitable venue for the large wedding that they expected it to be. After we had all finished the salad Sandra went to prepare the next course and Lauren and I took all of the salad dishes out.

Ellen’s boyfriend was a really nice guy, although he didn’t say that much but he was very polite and very handsome. He was in his early twenties and wore jeans and a tee shirt. He had short dirty blonde hair combed up to a point on his head and was wearing lots of woven bands. He smiled at me a couple of times and made me blush.

During the next course the conversation moved to bridesmaids and how Lauren would be one of Ellen’s bridesmaids. Ellen asked me if I had ever been a bridesmaid.

“No never,” I said. “There have not been any family weddings in my family since I was a kid. Still I would love to wear a fancy bridesmaid’s dress. Lauren said she was a bridesmaid earlier this year but she hasn’t let me see her dress.”

“Maybe we can let you try it on later before you go home Sophia,” said Sandra.

“I was never a bridesmaid Sophia,” said Ellen. “But let me tell you that trying on wedding dresses has to be much more fun. When it’s your turn you should go to every dress store in the city and try on ever dress they have. I have already chosen my wedding dress but I am planning to try more on just for the hell of it. I could invite you if you want.

“No thanks Ellen. Isn’t it bad luck to try on wedding dresses before you get engaged?”

“No at all,” said Lauren’s grandmother. “I used to do it with my friends when we were having a bad day. We would go into a wedding shop were nobody knew us and try on the dresses for fun. It always brightened up my day, and I still have a long and happy marriage.”

“May I ask where your husband is Mrs. Martini?” I asked.

“He is off on one of his golfing or fishing trips I am not sure which,” she said. “Just because you are married doesn’t mean you can’t spend time apart. I like to have outings with my friends and we still have sleepovers with husbands excluded once in a while too.”

“You have never been to one of Lauren’s sleepovers Sophia,” said Sandra. “We will have to invite you to one. It’s like having a house full of sisters with no men in sight. You would love it.”

This was all a terrible tease for me. All of this talk of wedding dresses and girl’s sleepovers. I didn’t think I was never going to enjoy, but I certainly enjoyed the idea of doing it.

Dinner went off without a hitch and the rest of the conversation stayed well away from dresses and me until Ellen asked me where I lived. I didn’t think she would know where it was so I told her I lived on San Remo Drive.

“San Remo Drive is where Lauren’s friend Mitch lives isn’t it Sophia, just around the corner from Miranda on Donna Drive,” Ellen replied.

“Yeah we are just down the street.” I said.

“What number?” she said. “I am a real estate agent. I know most of the houses on that street.”

I realized that I couldn’t answer her. If I told her my number she would know it was me.

Lauren’s mother intervened as if to protect me. “Ellen can you join me in the library I have some ideas for places you can hold you’re wedding.”

I didn’t say anything. If I told her the wrong number she could catch me out that way too.
Lauren’s mother interrupted.

“Hold on Sandra. Sophia is just going to tell me what house she lives at.”

“Ellen, leave poor little Sophia alone and come with me to the library. If she doesn’t want to tell you her house number it’s not a problem is it.”

“Fine,” she said. “I was only trying to be friendly. I used to live in that area, maybe I know her family.”

Lauren’s Mon took Ellen’s hand and dragged her away, which I was very glad of. I kept my head down and didn’t look at anybody. ‘This must be how people get found out’ I thought to myself. I felt very small at that moment.

“OK,” said Lauren’s dad. “Sounds like a good time to be taking everyone home. Can we give you a ride too Sophie?”

“No thanks,” I said. “My mother wants to pick me up, but thanks for having me over,” I said.

As everyone else stood up I stood with them and they moved towards the hallway. Ellen and Sandra came out of the library to meet us in the hall. Ellen had a very large smile on her face and I was guessing I knew why she was smiling but I couldn’t be sure. She came over and hugged Lauren and said they will have to go shopping soon.

“Maybe you can come too Sophia?” she said. “I bet I could show you some beautiful dresses that you would love to try on.”

Then she gave me the most amazing hug and let me know that she knew I was wearing a corset but the way she moved her hand up and down the boning. Then she winked at me and kissed me on the cheek.

Had Lauren’s mother told her about me? I was guessing she had on maybe she had already guessed. I realized the number of people who know about me being a boy in a dress could be growing and I could do nothing about it.

The others who were leaving also hugged me including Lauren’s father who momentarily lightly placed one hand on my ass. He certainly thought I was a girl. Then Stu gave me a really nice hug and said he hoped to meet again. Then they disappeared out of the front door and into Jack’s black BMW and they drove away down the street.

I turned to Sandra. “Did Ellen ask if I was a boy?”

“Of course not,” said Sandra. “She just wondered why you wouldn’t tell her your address. I told her your parents were going through a bad patch and for her not to be so pushy.”

I didn’t know if I should believe Sandra, but I had no choice. I asked Lauren is she thought there was a problem but she didn’t notice anything. Maybe it was my imagination.

“So, let’s go up to Lauren’s room,” said Sandra. “Because you have been such a good girl Sophia. I think we can let you try on Lauren’s bridesmaid’s dress. What do you think Lauren?”

“I think our Sophia has been good enough to deserve a treat,” said Lauren as we reached her door. “But only for a few minutes as you did promise to have her home before 10pm.”

Sandra went down the hallway and came back with a large white dress bag and started to open it as she walked back down the hallway. The dress was pale pink and all lace covered. I took my dress off as they both watched and Sandra held the dress out in front of me and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

It had very short sleeves and an in-between neckline that was low but not enough to show any cleavage. The back was high. The bodice was form fitting with a slim waist that I just about got into. The skirt was a full A line with a couple of layers of crinoline that ended just below the knee.

It was fabulous. I walked to the mirror to look at myself and was astonished. How could anything ever look more delicate, feminine and unbelievably sexy. My boy bits were doing somersaults again but I had to pretend that there was nothing happening down there or I feel I would be giving the game away.

I wanted to tell them that it made me feel pretty and fulfilled when it actually made me want to jerk my self silly, but I knew where I was and I guessed by the way they had treated me today that there would be more opportunities. I just hugged and thanked them both for an unbelievable couple of hours.

Then the time came to take everything off and get cleaned up. Sandra went downstairs to leave Lauren and I alone. I couldn’t find my bikini bottoms but Lauren had put them in her washing and let me wear her panties home, which was good for me as I didn’t want her to see the mess that was in this pair too.

Lauren gave me a long tight hug before we left her room.

“I hope you realize that we can enjoy wonderful evenings like this without you ever becoming a girl?” she said. I understood what she was saying but I had no time to carry on the conversation as I needed to get home.

Sandra dropped me at my home before 10pm and there was only time to give my Mom and Dad a quick hug before going to bed. I was really tired. I went to bed in the tights that the lady in the dress store had given me, and prepared with a handful of tissues I went to bed remembering the fantastic things that had happened to me today.

Then I remembered that I still didn’t have Lauren’s pills. I called Lauren to see if she could bring them to me, but she said she could not take them to school and I would have to come by her house another time. One more day couldn’t do too much damage I thought, then I slipped into a deep sleep.

I woke in the morning with my mother knocking on my bedroom door. It was already 7:30 and I needed to be out of the house in lees than 30 minutes. No problem! Off to the bathroom for a two minute shower, clean my teeth and time to mat down my hair into the usual drowned rat look, but then as I was checking out my face I notice a blackhead on my upper lip. I don’t get them or so I thought, then as look at this blackhead, I noticed it.

A dark hair above my top lip. Oh shit it’s started.

I didn’t know it could be like this. By Symphony Simms

I didn’t know it could be like this.Chapter 14.

Pimples.
------------------------------------------------

My dad had always told me that one day I would start growing hairs on my face and chest, then my chin and shoulders would broaden and I would turn into a man, but what if you don’t want that to happen. I guess I had done better than most boys.

I was almost 16 and this was the first sign of facial hair and the first pimple I can remember, but it was still upsetting. I got dressed for school and went downstairs for breakfast. My Mom noticed my pimple as soon I sat down.

“What’s that on your face?” she said, she put one hand on my neck to steady me then she touched it with her thumb. “You never get pimples do you Mitch? And I can feel here a couple of strong hairs growing. I guess you are going to turn into a man after all.”

“Yes Mom,” I said, without any enthusiasm.

“Whatever is the matter Mitch? I thought you would be glad to know that you were changing into a man at last.”

“I certainly don’t want to get hairy and mean like the other guys at school. All hairy faced, pimply and bad tempered. You know that I don’t like being mean to anybody. The boys at school pick on each other and fight in the hallways. I don’t want to be like that.”

“My goodness Mitch! I had no idea you felt that way.”

“I told you I am not like other boys Mom.”

“So what are you like Mitch?” she said.

“I don’t know Mom,” I said. I was realizing that I had to change my attitude here. I didn’t want to give too much away. I was not ready to tell her that I wanted to be a girl or anything because I had not made my mind up yet.

“All I know is that I do not want to be hairy-faced or pimply and I don’t want to be mean and fight anybody, which is what the other boys my age seem to want to do. Is that reasonable Mom?”

“I guess so sugar, but you can change all of those things yourself. If you don’t want pimples I will get you some Clearasil. If you don’t want hair on your face you can shave. And if you don’t want to fight people then don’t fight. I fail to see the problem. You are going to become a man Mitchell Neil and there isn’t a dam thing anyone can do about it. But what kind of man you become is up to you.”

I knew what kind of man I wanted to be. I want to be the kind of man who wears dresses and makeup and is admired for being beautiful, and I couldn’t do that with pimples and a hairy face.

“Do you think I am being silly Mom?” I said.

“Just a little Mitch, but your body is about to go through some pretty big changes in the next couple of years. Being concerned about that is understandable, but don’t go overboard on us Mitch. Every boy goes through exactly the same thing but I am sure most boys don’t worry about it like you are. Most boys look forward to it.”

“But as I said Mom I am not like most other boys.”

“Well Mitch I have a feeling that soon enough you will become like other boys and there is not a lot you can do about it, so I suggest you just get over it and plan on welcoming the new you.”

Not much sympathy there I thought to myself. But unless I told her how I really feel I couldn’t expect anything different. But I didn’t have the courage to say anything yet as I didn’t really know what I wanted to do about anything. I got ready for school and headed out to while I was still on time.

On the way to school I noticed Carter was coughing a little and holding one arm down by his side. I asked him what was the matter.

“If you had been there you would have seen it.” He said. “Some linebacker speared me with his helmet.”

“How can you spear someone with your helmet?” I said, “Isn’t a helmet a little blunt?

“Spearing is when you dive at someone head first,” said Warren.

“I know that I was just trying to be funny.” I said, but I really didn’t know.

“Anyway where were you?” said Warren. “You said you were gonna’ come watch the game with all the other guys?”

“My Mom wanted me to go into LA with her to visit my Grandfather,” I said. “We stayed longer than she planned.”

“Listen Mitch you are gonna’ have to say no to your Mom more often. The game is important. We need all the support we can get. Next week we are going to Anaheim on the bus and we expect you with us. Got It?”

“I got it Warren. I won’t let you down. As long as my Mom doesn’t have anything special arranged.”

“There isn’t anything more important than supporting your buddies Mitch. Tell her in advance you are coming with us.”

The smell of testosterone around here was pungent. The big guys at the back were all shouting and pushing each other down the hallway. I couldn’t wait to get into my class. I was feeling miserable enough without all of that crap.

When I got into my form room Mr. Washington was already there and Lauren was already in her desk. Lauren was looking just as sweet as ever. No glasses today and just a little makeup. She noticed I looked a little miserable and put both of her hands on my right forearm and then rested her head on my shoulder.

“Lauren Martini” Mr. Washington shouted across the room. Lauren pulled herself back to her desk immediately. “We may not have started class yet but you are not supposed to be touching that boy like that anywhere on school property. This is really your final warning just because class hasn’t started yet. If I see you touching that boy for any reason during the next 5 days and on school property, you will be at opposite ends of the room for the rest of the year. The rest of the class I am sure will remind me.”

Great I thought. Now I am even getting a bad time from my teacher. The rest of the day was just as annoying. All I wanted to do was to talk to Lauren and make arrangements to get those pills, but since Lauren had stopped wearing glasses and started wearing makeup she had been adopted by the Laguna beach babes and was never on her own.

I could see that she wanted to talk and we did exchange a few nice words, but because of what I wanted to talk about, I couldn’t say anything when there was the slightest possibility of being overheard, so I didn’t say anything.

I waited for Lauren outside school in our usual spot near the road outside the school and I was relived to see her bounding out of school looking really glad to see me. She gave be the most delicious little hug, as good as I could get in a public place and we walked off hand in hand towards home.

“You looked like you really wanted to see me today Mitch. Whatever is the matter?”

“I just needed to speak to you Lauren. You know I am the only person I can really talk to.”

“That’s really sweet Mitch and I would love to talk to you, but my dad will be around any minute because I am doing a training course at ‘The Parasol.’ It will be my last one. After tonight my regular nights will be Tuesday and Thursday but I will occasionally be called in at other times but I don’t have to take them.”

“So you don’t have any time for me tonight?”

“Not until after work. Poor Mitch! Nobody to talk to! It must be really difficult being you today, whatever is the matter.”

I knew I didn’t have any time to explain things slowly and quietly so I just laid it all out for her in one blob. “Look I got my first few hairs on my top lip today, and I got a great big pimple. I really need those pills of yours to make this stuff go away.”

As I finished my little tirade Lauren’s father came by in the Black Bavaria to pick Lauren up.

“Text me later before you go to bed,” she said. She kissed me on the lips and got into the car. “We have to make arrangements about tomorrow.” Then she was gone.

I felt a little sorry for myself and started to walk home, hands in pockets, pack over my shoulders I kicked at the grass to take out my frustration on something, then I heard someone calling me from behind.

“Hold on little buddy,” shouted Carter as he and Warren came running down the road to catch up with me. “What happened to Lauren, she was with you a minute ago?”

“Her Dad picked her up because she is working tonight.”

“Oh,” Said Warren. “So you gonna’ come shoot some hoops with us Mitch?”

“You don’t need me to shoot hoops with. I just get in the way, and anyway I thought there was something wrong with your arm Carter.”

“My arm is fine now,” said Carter. “Warren punched me on the other side so it balances out.”

“You normally just hang out with us,” said Warren. “We enjoy having you around. You are our buddy and we I haven’t spoken to each other in a week. What have you been up too lately anyway?”

I was now walking in between Carter and Warren. Warren reached his hand around and rested his arm on my shoulders. I let it sit there for a few seconds but his arms were really heavy so I twisted my shoulders around and let his arm fall.

“Not much.” I said. “I have been hanging around with Lauren sometimes and I have a babysitting job a couple of nights a week so I have some money. I have earned $100 already.”

“Wicked,” said Carter. “Let’s go down to the beach and spend some.”

“I can’t tonight guys, but maybe later in the week I could. I gotta’ be somewhere tonight.”

“So where you got to be tonight that’s so special?” said Warren.

“It’s not special, but I am going around to see the woman I baby sit for. She makes me a meal and I have a swim in her pool.”

“I don’t mind going for a swim in somebody’s pool,” said Carter.

“And what is so special about this woman that you would blow off your buddies for anyway?” said Warren.

“I am not blowing you off. She’s nice,” I said “and she has go really big tits, and when she puts her bikini on to go for a swim she has a wicked body.”

“All the more reason we should go with you Buddy,” said Carter.

“So she has a good body, but what is her face like?” said Warren.

“Well she is really pretty like you wouldn’t believe. She used to be a model and she is only 25.”

“So why isn’t she a model now?” said Warren.

“Well you know what I think? I think models are all skinny girls with little or no tits. I think Miranda was skinny when she was younger but when she got older her tits filled out and now her tits are too big.”

“How can her tits be too big?” said Carter.

“Not too big,” I said. “Just too big for a skinny model. Her tits would look marvelous on a porn star or a hooker. I guess she just can’t fit into those skinny model size dresses.”

“You’re kidding me. She is that good looking?” said Warren.

“Well if she is that good,” said Carter. “You have to find some way to get us in that pool when she is there. We gotta’ see this girl.”

“I don’t know about that guys. Their house is all fenced and gated. You are never going to see over that fence.”

“That is not what I meant little buddy. You have got to get us an invite,” said Warren. “After building this girl up so much you don’t expect to tell us we are never going to see her. Somehow you are going to get us an invite so we can see her.”

“OK I can try,” I said. “But don’t hold your breath. I don’t know how I would approach the subject.”

“That’s easy,” said Warren. “Just say that you were talking to your friends about your really nice pool and we asked if we could see it and maybe go for a swim. She won’t know you have been telling us about how big her tits are. You could also say that you told your friends that she is a really nice person and we said that we like really nice people and we asked to meet her. Be creative. I know you can handle it.”

“You are the smartest guy we know,” said Carter. “I am sure you can figure something out.”

“I will try,” I said.

“Good enough for us little buddy. So are we going to hang out later in the week? Let’s go spend some of your money down by the beach,” said Warren.

“Sounds good guys. See you in school.”

Carter and Warren headed off towards their favorite basketball court and I headed home.

Mom was at home when I got there wearing one of the pretty dresses she bought from that dress store. You know the store. This dress was fawn and beige and had spaghetti straps revealing her shoulders that looked very pale for someone who lives in this area.

“Hi Mom, that dress looks very pretty on you, but I think you need to get some sun on your shoulders because it makes you look a little pale.”

“Thank you Mitch, but that is why I am wearing this dress, so I can get some sun on my shoulders. So what time are you due over at Miranda’s house?”

“Oh I have to go to Miranda’s house! I had almost forgotten,” I said hoping she wouldn’t catch me lying. “She said come over at about five so we can eat together, if you don’t mind that is.”

“I have no problem Mitch, but your father commented that you haven’t stayed home at all for the last week. How are you going to get your homework done?”

“No problem Mom. Lauren and I did the last bunch on Saturday morning and I have another batch to do on Wednesday. But don’t worry Mom. I always manage to get straight A’s and that’s not going to change.”

“That’s nice for you dear. So what is so good about Miranda’s cooking that makes you want to go over there Mitch?”

“Nothing really Mom. She does mostly the same food as you do, but she puts more seasoning, herbs and sauces on stuff.”

“So am I going to have to get cooking lessons from Miranda too?”

“No Mom you’re cooking is fine, just different to Miranda’s. No one said there was anything wrong with your cooking.”

“But you said you liked Miranda’s cooking more than mine!”

“No I didn’t Mom. You asked me what I liked about Miranda’s cooking. Look please can we start again? Hi Mom you look really pretty in that dress.”

“Thank you again Mitch and how much time do you have before you go over to Miranda’s house? I thought we could sit and talk for a while.”

“I have a couple of minutes Mom. What do you want to talk about?”

She reached into one of the kitchen cupboards, pulled something out. “Here,” she said, placing a bottle of Clearasil and a Gillette shaver in front of me. “I was going to give you a shaver for your birthday so you are getting one of your presents early.”

“Thanks Mom,” I said, but I just couldn’t find any enthusiasm to go with it. “Just what I needed.”

“No need to go overboard with the thanks Mitch,” she said. “No one noticed anything at school did they did they?”

“There is no way they would notice me having a one blackhead when most of the boys in my year have dozens of them. I just blend in better now,” I said trying not to let my disgust at the blemish on my upper lip get the best of me, but I wasn’t do a very good job.

“I don’t get this attitude Mitch. What is so bad about growing up like other people do?”

“I told you Mom. I am not like other boys.” I said sounding just like any of them.

“Well at this moment I don’t believe you. Yesterday you were the sweetest kid I could ever wish for and today you are just a bear. Nothing is right with you and everything I say seems to upset you. You are acting like the stereotypical adolescent male that yesterday you said did not want to be.”

She was right in a way. I was being a complete ass. I had to try and make things better. I didn’t want to upset my Mom. She had been very good to me.

“Look. I am really sorry for being like this Mom. I want to show you that I am different first by saying that I understand and acknowledge that you are right and I am being juvenile and insensitive.”

“Oh bullshit Mitch. Don’t give me that condescending crap. Just get out of here and try to adjust your attitude for the next time I ask you how your day was.” And she stormed quietly into the library and closed the door behind her.

I guess I had left it too late before I tried to turn things around. I thought about going to apologize to Mom again but I realized that she was upset with me and would not feel any better for a few hours. Maybe I could apologize tomorrow. Right now I had to get ready to go to Miranda’s house and I wanted to get rid of that blackhead.

The disgusting thing came out but it left an aggravated red mark and I knew that it was a bad time to try to shave that hair because it was too close to the red mark. I just had to leave it and get ready for Miranda’s. I combed my hair away from my face knowing that I wasn’t going to see anyone but Miranda, Robert and April tonight.

I dressed in my usual black tie and tux and headed for Miranda’s house. Neither my Mom nor my Dad came out to see me walk down the road. Having made the leap from boy to adolescent I no longer needed to be looked after.

I was round at Miranda’s in a couple of minutes, but before I rang the bell I needed to calm myself down and present a happier face to Miranda. She was one of the best parts of my life right now, as was my Mom, but I had better not let Miranda see this dark side of me. I took a few deep breaths and counted to five with my eyes closed. I smiled to myself and rang the doorbell.

I didn’t know it could be like this.
Chapter 15.

By Symphony Simms

I smiled to myself and rang the doorbell.

Miranda came to open the door with April in her arms.

“Hi Mitch please come in,” she said and she leaned over to kiss me on the cheek while holding April away from me, then she brought April around till she was in my face.

“You have your ears pierced Mitch and diamonds too. Isn’t that a little risqué for a boy your age?”

“I don’t think so Miranda. I have been wearing them all day and nobody at school noticed.”

“Give Mitch a kiss darling,” she said as April bumped her mouth into my cheek then bounced her hand onto my nose. It was very sweet.

“Can I hold her,” I said.

“Of course you can Mitch,” she said and she passed April over to me. I held her tight and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “Come through to the great room and you can tell me about your weekend.”

I followed Miranda through the house and considered my weekend. Miranda was wearing a silky flowing patterned dress with shimmering reds and blues with a deep neckline showing her fabulous cleavage to its best advantage. The dress had little bows at the very top of her shoulders and a same material sash belt tied at the waist with another bow.

She wore shimmering blue sparkling open high-heeled shoes with probably I guessed bare legs. These were the kind of clothes that my mother could wear if only someone would show her, but my mother was moving in the right direction as she had worn a dress two days in a row, which must be a record.

Then I thought about the clothes I took for myself that my mother took for herself. Miranda must have thought that it was my intention was to give them to my mother. Miranda didn’t know about me dressing in her clothes. How could she think otherwise?

Miranda sat on the big leather couch and motioned me to sit next to her. I began to tell her about my weekend.

“Well,” I said trying to compose my thoughts. “I had a really nice day on Saturday with Lauren, which you were a part of, then yesterday I spent the day with my mother and went to visit my grandfather. I haven’t seen him for a few years.”

“And how did that go?”

“Oh fine. My mother had told me earlier in the day that they had an upset but they had now ironed out their differences and were going to get to know each other all over again.”

I continued telling Miranda about my day out with my mother. The photographs of my grandmother and me looking like her. I told her about us getting my mother a makeover and getting our ears pierced and I told her about us going into the dress store and getting a few dresses.

Miranda listened intently while I was talking, but after a few minutes I noticed that April had fallen asleep on my shoulder. Miranda explained that April had missed her afternoon sleep today and consequently needed to go to bed early, so I followed Miranda up to April’s room where we prepared April for bed.

April was easy to prepare for bed. Miranda simply changed her diaper, gave her a quick wash down with some mild soapy warm water, then after she had been dried with a soft towel she was sprinkled with baby-powder and dressed in some teddy-bear pajamas. Unbelievably simple! Miranda wanted me to know how to do it case she left me at home with April before her bedtime and needed me to put her to bed.

“Do you think you can handle that on your own Mitch?”

“No problem,” I said. “You can rely on me.”

So we both kissed April good night then Miranda put her in crib, closed April’s curtains and we left the room gently closing the door behind us.

But as we walked away from April’s room Miranda did something I did not expect. She walked me straight into her room and closed the door then she pushed me against the wall and hugged me.

“Put your arms around me,” she said. “I have something to talk to you about.”

“Whatever is the matter,” I said, beginning to get worried that she might have discovered come stains on her dresses or something like that. I was concerned, but at the same time I was becoming aroused because her beautiful breasts were pressing into my chest and my head was resting on her shoulders and where I was really enjoying the delicious smell of her body and her hair.

“I love you Mitch and I want us to continue to be friends and I want you to keep coming around to visit us and babysit April.”

I was paying attention, but as she spoke her arms were wrapped around me and she had one hand stroking the back of my head. I pulled my head back a little so I could see her face. I didn’t think that whatever it was could be that important, because she still wanted me to baby-sit, so it couldn’t be the clothes, could it?

“I do too Miranda but whatever is the matter?”

“Mitch we have a security system.”

“I know Miranda, Robert showed it to me and gave me the password in case it goes off when I am here.”

“Yes Mitch but he didn’t show you the whole system. We have got cameras as well.”

Now that concerned me. Had Miranda seen me in a dress? Had she seen me walking around the pool with Lauren? I didn’t know how much trouble I was in.

“Where do you have cameras Miranda?”

I didn’t move. I held Miranda a little tighter. I had the feeling that I may not be able to ever hug Miranda like this again, but she had just told me a moment ago that she loved me and wanted me to continue baby-sitting etc. I was confused.

“Well we have quite a few. We have one outside April’s room. We saw you on that one on Friday. Robert saw a girl going from my bedroom to the hallway bathroom and back but we couldn’t find anything of a girl coming into the house.”

Miranda was speaking calmly without any concern in her voice. She wasn’t reprimanding me or anything. She was just telling me what happened.

“We also have inside cameras in the hallway, one in the great room and one in Robert’s office.”

She was leaving me plenty of time to think about what she was saying and did not stop holding me or gently rubbing the back of my head.

“We have others outside.”

I took a little time to consider what I should say. She didn’t seem to be asking for an apology or telling me I was bad.

“I guess you have seen a lot of me over the weekend.”

“We have Mitch, and may I say that you look very pretty in a dress.”

I winced when she said that. I wanted Miranda to like me as a boy. I still had hopes that she would kiss me on the mouth and ask me into her bed to screw the shit out of me. I didn’t really know what it was like to have someone screw the shit out of you, but it sure sounded good. I guess that wasn’t going to happen now. I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing. My stomach was turning over but I tried to answer her.

“So what do you want me to do?”

“I didn’t say that I want you to do anything Mitch. I am not going to punish you or anything. If you feel the need to wear a dress and put on makeup, who am I to stop you?”

“But I was wearing your clothes,” I said thinking that might make a difference.

“I know, but you didn’t use any of my new underwear and you didn’t stain anything. Why should I be concerned?”

Jez, it seemed like she was giving me permission to do it again. I honestly thought that if I got caught wearing some woman’s clothes I would be in trouble, but not Miranda.

“Would you like to see yourself in a dress on the big screen?”

Oh Shit. Not only did she have a video of me but now she wanted me to see it, but I had this streak of curiosity creep over me. Did I really look that good in a dress? I know it felt good. I nodded my head and we took off downstairs to Robert’s office hand in hand.

Far from this discovery causing conflict between us, Miranda seemed to want to show me the video of my wearing her clothes because she enjoyed it. Surely I couldn’t get away with this unscathed. There must be some punishment.

When we got to Robert’s office, the computer was already on and the video of me was already set up. I sat at the computer desk in the steno’ chair and Miranda stood over me operating the mouse while leaning around me and resting her wonderful left breast on my right shoulder and her left hand upon my chest. I had to lean over as her body pressed mine forward.

“There you are on Friday evening,” said Miranda as the girl in the picture walked across the hall then back again a few minutes later. “We have the system set up to record every time something moves.”

“The next shot was of Lauren and I on Saturday. I was still dressed in my boys’ clothes kissing Lauren’s hand while standing right in front of the camera outside April’s room. Then I went into the bathroom and Lauren walked back and forth from the bathroom to Miranda’ bedroom bringing articles of clothing.

I had forgotten for a moment what happened after that, but I was reminded to my great embarrassment when I could be seen walking across the hallway wearing only a skinny pair of panties with a large pair of tits hanging from my chest.

“They are heavy aren’t they?’ said Miranda. I was so embarrassed, but Miranda seemed to make light of it. “How did they feel? Could you imagine yourself having to plan your life around them? They get in the way of almost everything.”

I had no intention of answering any of Miranda’s questions regarding what it was like to have large breasts. Lauren and I were only playing games wearing those giant breast-forms, but I know that they were not as big as Miranda’s natural breasts.

In the next three shots I had three different dresses on and I was wearing a wig. Then the cameras followed Lauren and me as we went down to the computer.

“If you don’t want to tell me now you can tell me later,” she said.

I didn’t know what she meant by later but I guess I would find out.

The shots from the upstairs camera were not very good quality as the hallway was dimly lit, but shots from the downstairs cameras were of much better quality. I was quite proud of the pretty picture I painted. It was 100% woman and I could see no hint of boy whatsoever, even though I did think the tits were a little over sized, but there again so were Miranda’s.

The cameras did not show what we were looking at on the computer screen and Lauren did not ask, but I am sure Miranda could check the history if she wanted. I don’t remember erasing it.

The video had been edited because it then cut to Lauren and me standing together outside by the pool looking back at the house. There must be a camera immediately above patio door because we looked like we where posing for the camera and then the shot froze.

It was then that was I realized just how pretty the girl in the video was. Lauren looked fantastic too but it was me I was concentrating on. The vision on the screen was extremely attractive and I found myself highly aroused as I remembered that it felt like to wear those beautiful clothes, the corset pulling me in and stockings, oh the stockings.

My boy bits stood to attention in my shorts, and then Miranda looked down and noticed my prominent erection. I tried to cover it with my hands but I had already been discovered.

“Well I think it is obvious that you don’t wear dresses because you desperately want to become a girl do you Mitch?” said Miranda. “Wearing dresses excites you doesn’t it?”

I didn’t want to answer, but Miranda was not going to endure my silence easily.

“Mitch I know you enjoy wearing my clothes and I am OK with it honestly, but I want you to tell me about it. I want to share in your experience. I want to be your friend Mitch, even when you’re wearing my clothes I still love you. I understand that you get excited by it and it’s OK.” She waited for me to reply.

“I really enjoy feeling like a girl,” I said.

“And what else Mitch. Tell me about it.” She took my hands, pulled me up and led me over to the couch.

“It makes me feel good. I really enjoy looking beautiful and seeing myself in the mirror.”

“That’s it Mitch. Just let it all out. Tell me about feeling like a girl.”

We sat beside each other on the edge of the couch and she held both my hands in hers and looked me in the eyes. I didn’t want to tell her everything but I felt like I had to.

“The clothes feel exciting when I put them on. They make me feel like a girl. I want to feel like a girl. I want to feel pretty. I want to feel the beautiful clothes against my skin.”

“And when did you first feel the urge to wear girl’s clothes? Was it when you were a little boy?”

“No,” I said. “It was last week when I came here to meet you and go for a swim.”

“On Thursday, was that the first time you ever wanted to put girl’s clothes on?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said. “I never thought about girl’s clothes before that.” I wanted to tell her everything. If felt good to tell someone about how good it felt to wear beautiful clothes. I couldn’t tell the whole truth to Lauren. It wouldn’t feel right.

“When you told me to go into the changing room and get changed to go swimming, you left your clothes over the back of the chair. It was like I had been hypnotized. I just had to touch them.”

“Did you put them on?”

“No, I didn’t think I had time. You might have discovered me.”

“But you wanted to put them on. So when you came around the next night you wanted to wear my clothes.”

“I couldn’t help it,” I said. “I couldn’t sit downstairs knowing that your clothes were upstairs and there was nobody home but April and she wouldn’t care. So I put some of your clothes on.”

“And what did you do?”

Did she think I was going to tell her?

“Did you run to the bathroom and play with your penis Mitch?”

I nodded my head. She put he arms around me and laid my head on her breast. Her wonderful breast. For a moment I thought I could disappear down her cleavage and never be seen again.

“Was it good?” she said.

“What good?”

“Was it good to play with yourself while wearing a dress Mitch?”

My goodness she couldn’t want me to tell her more!

“I’m sorry Miranda I couldn’t help it.”

“I know Mitch. It’s OK. What happened when you played with yourself Mitch?”

“You know Miranda.”

“I know Mitch, but you are going to tell me what happened when you were playing with yourself. You may as well tell me now because you are going to tell me before you leave this room. What happened while you were playing with yourself dressed in my clothes looking at yourself in the mirror?”

“I squirted over the bathroom floor. I’m sorry Miranda.”

“You squirted did you? And what did you squirt?”

“I squirted cum,” I said quietly.

“You squirted what Mitch I didn’t hear you?”

“I squirted cum Miranda.”

“And where did the cum go Mitch?”

“It went on my tights Miranda and some went on the floor.”

“Is that it Mitch, You didn’t squirt anywhere else did you?”

“Just a little bit.”

“Just a little bit what?”

“Just a little bit went on your shoes.”

“And did you clean it all up?”

“Yes Miranda.”

“And what did you do with the tights?”

I was almost crying now and tears were escaping from my eyes. Why she wanted me to talk to her like this I didn’t know. I guess this was my punishment. Did she want to humiliate me into stopping wearing dresses by making tell her I squirted over her floor? It wasn’t working. I knew even now that I would dress up as a girl at the first possible opportunity.

“I took the tights home with me.”

“That’s OK Mitch, and what did you do about the shoes?”

“I cleaned them with some tissue and put them back in your closet.”

“That’s OK Mitch, you can show me which ones later so I can make sure they are clean.”

“They are not there now Miranda. They were in the things I took home on Saturday.”

“Oh that’s right,” she said. “Your mom thought they were for her but you really took them home for yourself. It took me a while to figure that one out I tell you. I just couldn’t figure out why your mother was thanking me. So what happened when you took them home?”

“I had to put them in the hall closet while I went to bed and Mom discovered them before I could hide them.”

“I bet you were surprised?”

“I was gobsmacked! I thought I was going to have my own clothes that I could wear when nobody else was around. Now my Mom has them.”

“Never mind Mitch,” said Miranda. “We will get you some more. Look Mitch I am sorry to put you through that but I wanted to demonstrate to you that you can tell me all this and I am still you friend and I still love you.”

“You can tell me anything Mitch and I will not be upset as long as you tell me the truth and don’t hold anything back. I hate secrets and I hope you never hold any from me, but if you tell me the truth and tell me what you really want, then I will try to help you.”

“You are going to help me?”

“Yes I am Mitch and if you want to we can go upstairs now and I will dress you as a girl.”

For a moment I thought I would throw up. Miranda had just offered to dress me in her clothes. I couldn’t believe it.

“Seriously, you would let me try your clothes on.”

“No Mitch. I will not let you try my clothes on, but I will help you dress as a girl. I don’t do anything by half measures. And I understand that sometime this evening you are going to need to squirt as you put it, but it’s OK. I will help you with that too.”

Oh fuck, I thought to myself. I have been brought up not to swear, but sometimes the occasion justified it. Miranda was going to help me cum. I was suddenly aware of the absolute hardest erection I could ever imagine.

How would she do it? Where would it be? What would she do? My mind was racing. My mouth had dropped open and I was starring blankly at Miranda.

“I will take that as a positive reaction then Mitch,” as she pulled my shorts to highlight the bulge. There was a small obelisk holding up my shorts. Miranda saw it but ignored it.

“So here is the plan so you can prepare yourself. We are going to walk up to my bathroom and you are going to get a shower. While you are in the bathroom I am going to give you some underwear that you are going to put on that is going to hide your boy parts, but when you put this item of clothing on your erection must be gone and your penis folded backwards. It won’t work otherwise. Think about your father or the president or something but get rid of that erection.”

She then pushed my mouth closed with her hand on my chin and gave me a kiss on the lips before pushing me in the direction of the stairs. She tasted very clean and sweet. I wanted to kiss her some more.

“Go.” She said. “I will be right with you.”

I walked up the stairs ahead of Miranda. She was just behind me all of the way, in fact she put her hand on my shoulder and squeezed as we got to the top of the stairs, then she directed me away from the bathroom and into her bedroom.

“Not that bathroom Mitch, I mean my bathroom.” She directed me behind her dresser to another door and opened it for me and walked in ahead of me. I hadn’t realized that this room was here. I thought the bathroom across the hall was Miranda’s bathroom.

This was less like a bathroom and more like Cleopatra’s harem. The bath must have seated three at least and was lit by a stained glass window that overlooked the pool framed by red curtains.

There was a separate glass walled shower and across the room there were four doors leading I don’t know where. One of them must be a toilet because it didn’t go down to the floor. The floor and the walls were finished in silky white on white marble with deep red wood cupboards and doors with gold trimmings and handles. There were shelves with dozens of creamy white towels and other stuff.

There were red glass candles holders on the counters and around the bath and bunches of flowers decorated the room. The sculptured and scalloped ceiling was lit by a hundred small lights and the room must have been twice the size of my bedroom. I was amazed.

“It’s just a bathroom Mitch. Go have a shower. Shave any hairy bits under your arms or on your chest with the shaver on the counter and put these on, then come out into the bedroom.” She handed me a tiny pair of panties and a pink silk dressing gown then she walked out of the room.

This was it. This was one of those moments I had been dreaming about for the last couple of nights since I saw Miranda’s clothes on the back of the chair. Miranda was going to help me dress as a girl. I had an erection like a rock and I hadn’t seen any clothes yet.

I thought briefly about my dad and the president but those thought were not strong enough to displace thoughts about Miranda’s clothes, so I threw off my clothes and got into the shower.

I soaped and shampooed myself with the delicious smelling products that Miranda had left for me them as I cleaned myself. I had the idea that my erection always subsided after I came, so I pulled myself off in the shower thinking of what might happen to me tonight.

I even thought about how good it would be if Miranda came into the shower with me. Her giant soapy tits rubbing against me as I pulled at myself and even her doing it to me. It didn’t take long. I had to wipe some cum off the shower wall but it was gone in a moment.

It was just like cleaning myself out before the real action that would come later. Then I shaved like she said but nothing much got removed. I got out of the shower and got dried.

I put the funny looking panties that Miranda had given me. They tied around the waist and locked me in position like no ordinary panties could have done. I had to think of crocodiles and spiders and stuff before I put them on but after I adjusted them my boy bits could not be seen. My balls disappeared inside my body and my penis was pulled back towards my asshole.

I put on the beautiful gown and it made me shiver as the wonderful silk slipped across my body. I went out into the bedroom and Miranda was waiting for me in a silk dressing gown of her own. She sat me down at the vanity and faced me towards her.

“You have already been in this room and sat at this vanity haven’t you?”

“Yes Miranda. Friday and Saturday!”

“So this will not be totally unfamiliar to you. First we are going to give you some breasts.” She opened a box and took out a beautiful pair of breast forms. She tried them against me then reached for some glue from the box.

“This is a temporary adhesive,” she said. “It will come off later before you have to go home.”

She applied the glue them attached them to me. Then she worked on the seams between my skin and the forms with a gel to make a smooth transition, then she used an airbrush to apply makeup around the beasts and the seams disappeared.

I couldn’t believe it. Now I had breasts. About a ‘C’ I would say, but with nice big protruding nipples. I was very impressed. Miranda wrapped my hair in a towel and started on my makeup. She commented on the red mark above my lip and said she would take car of it, and she noted the tiny dark hairs that were appearing on my top lip. She pulled out a large pencil sized toll from her dresser and stroked it across where the hairs were. They just disappeared.

“These are really beautiful Miranda but if you don’t mind me asking, how come you have beast forms?”

“I bought them for you Sophia!”

“Why thank you Miranda, but how did you know to call me Sophia?”

“Why Sophia you forget who you have been spending your time with. You may have been here on your own on Friday, but you were here again on Saturday with my niece Lauren, and yesterday evening you went to dinner with my oldest sister Sandra and some other members of my family.”

“We girls don’t have secrets from each other and you will be expected to share all of your secrets with them too as you are now considered one of the Martini family women now, while you are wearing a dress anyway.”

That was an ominous thought. Sharing all of my secrets with all of the Martini women. Did that mean that I had to tell Sandra about having my hand inside Lauren’s vagina on Saturday morning? But she hadn’t really answered my question about breast forms.

“But Miranda, on Saturday evening I saw a draw with about eight pairs of breast forms. Surely you did not buy them all for me.”

“No you are quite right Sophia. When I was younger I bought a couple of them to enhance my figure but again that is not the whole story. The truth is Sophie that you are not the first boy to sit in this chair. There have been a couple of others.”

“Anyone I know,” I said.

“Yes Sophia you have met a couple of them.”

“Is Robert one of them?” I asked.

“This no secrets rule can sometimes work against you, but you are now included in our family so I have to tell you. Yes Robert has sat in this chair. He looks very good as a woman as you can imagine, but it is not really his thing. He only does it because I ask him to.”

“So what is his thing Miranda?”

“His thing is me Sophia. Please remember what you have already been told. We share our secrets but not our men.”

“But aren’t you sharing me with Lauren?”

“Only with her permission. You are her man and we all understand that. I am helping you and her right now by introducing you to the ways of our family.”

The ways of the family. What was I getting myself into?

While we were talking, Miranda had applied most of my base makeup. She had plucked my eyebrows a little to give them a better shape and increase the gap between them. She had done my eyelids, eyelashes and lined my eyebrows and was adding some lip liner.

My face had changed considerably. My eyes were now much bigger and my cheekbones more pronounced. I was that girl again and she had not even started on my hair. She had me to put on my own lipstick and lip gloss, always one of my favorite parts.

Miranda then took away the towel from my head and started on my hair. She sprayed a preparation on my hair and started brushing before she turned on the drier. In a few moments she had lifted my hair at the back, blow dried and teased my hair with curling irons and other things for quite some time before she declared the hair complete.

I was watching the whole time and I can say I my smile was growing minute by minute from their effort. The style she had chosen made it look better than I had dreamed my scraggy hair could ever look.

She made an unequal part on the left side, but below the part she made my hair go behind my ear. On the other side my hair swooped right across above my eye and in front of my right ear. The top stood up above my head with a few spiked bits sticking out of the top. I looked totally professional and amazingly feminine. Miranda said I looked like I had a concave haircut which made me look a little like Victoria Beckham.

I stood up to look at the vision before me. The face and hair was that of a very pretty late teen or early twenties woman. I had tits for a woman that looked very convincing too. Miranda walked over to her dresser and pulled out a pair of beautiful white lacy panties and gave them to me. I put them on and they t covered the pair I was wearing apart from the strap around the waist.

Miranda then threw off her robe to reveal that she to was wearing only the same white thong.

“What do you think? Two pretty women ready to get dresses for the evening.”

We stood there looking at each other in the mirror. I wanted to spend time looking at Miranda’s tits, but I realized that mine looked pretty good too. We were both amazingly hot.
Miranda faced towards me and pulled me towards her.

I looked her in the eyes as we were about the same height. We held each other Miranda’s fabulous breasts rested against mine which were not very sensitive, but the view was phenomenal. I was resting my bare stomach against Miranda’s bare stomach. If my penis wasn’t held back I could have blown my load right then, but I was contained.

“Let’s get dressed,” she said.

Miranda reached into the top draw of her dresser and pulled out two almost identical strapless white corsets. Hers was only different because the bra area was a lot fuller. The corsets were lined with a soft white satin like material inside and out and were heavily boned and very rigid. I helped her lace up her corset at her back.

Miranda’s corset was easy to lace up because she already had curves in all the right places and just a few discrete pulls on the laces brought Miranda’s waist in deliciously. The corset made her tits stand up more rounded and fuller above the horizontal bra top and I had the urge to touch them, but I thought it best to hold on to that one.

The bottom end of the corset finished above the top of her crotch leaving the main part of her panties tantalizingly exposed. The corsets also had suspenders attached three for each leg.

Miranda moved to put me into my corset. It fit in exactly the same way as Miranda’s but it took far more squeezing and pulling to get my corset closed. I could feel my sides being held in and my stomach being flattened. My tits were being pushed up by the pressure making them fuller and rounder above my bra top. They jiggled and wobbled in the sexiest way imaginable.

“Stockings,” said Miranda holding a packet towards me. “Come on I can’t do everything for you. Just be careful not to catch them on a nail or anything.”

The picture of the girl on the stocking packet was gorgeous, but I bet I would rival her tonight.

I put on the stockings and those sensations ran up my legs and into my boy bits again. My boy bits couldn’t get out but I could feel a wetness down there. I felt like I could be overcome by the overload of sensations I was feeling.

I tried to slow down and take deep breaths, but there was no room in the corset for deep breaths. Inhaling too much air felt like my tits would spring out over the top of the bra. I stood still and let my breathing settle.

“Here put this slip on,” said Miranda. It was a short gold colored slip with a very lacy top that was lower in the middle than the edges and showed lots of cleavage. Miranda had already put on her dress. It was plain black and fitted in all the right places. It finished mid thigh. It also had a plunging neckline that exposed acres of Miranda’s breasts and cleavage. She looked astounding.

Miranda reached behind her and produced a brown leather skirt. It only looked to be a few inches long, but when I put it on it hung on my hips and finished mid thigh. The skirt also came with a matching leather jacket that I put on, but it was about six inches from closing at the front. It didn’t matter which way I adjusted these clothes I always had plenty of tits on display above the gold lacy top.

“Shoes,” said Miranda. The shoes she gave me were about 4” high and all straps. I didn’t know if I could walk very far in them but they certainly looked good. Miranda was wearing a pair of plain black patent leather pumps with a 6” heel. I don’t know how she could stand up in them but I guess she had lots of practice.

“Accessorize,” said Miranda. “Here take this evening bag and see if you can find yourself some matching jewelry in the top draws of the vanity.”

I walked back over to the vanity. This was the first time I had seen myself in those clothes and I was astonished. I was a Hollywood babe. Sex was oozing out of every pore of my skin. I couldn’t believe my own legs could look so sexy me. I totally fancied myself. I looked as good as Miranda did when I first was her. I needed some relief from this pressure that was building between my legs.

“Miranda I have to go to the bathroom.”

“What for Sophie? You are not going to play with yourself are you?”

I looked at her but without saying anything I think she understood the turmoil my body was going through. She took my hand and walked me into the bathroom.

“With these clothes on you can’t just go to the bathroom without knowing how to put these clothes back.” We walked into the bathroom.

“This is easy for a girl because I only have to pull down my panties, but you are wearing a gaff that comes up around your waist. I will have to undo the lower end of the corset.”

I took off my skirt and jacket and she took off her dress. She undid the corset part of the way and fished out the gaff from my waist. “What is it you want to do Sophie?”

“I didn’t want to tell her but I didn’t want to risk loosing any trust. She said I had to tell the truth and she would help me. So I told her.

“I have to squirt.”

Miranda moved towards me and put her arms around me again. This time our tits held us apart but she managed to get close enough to kiss me on the lips again, lingering but without letting me taste her sweet tongue. It was magical, but she didn’t stay still for long.

Miranda turned me away from her. She got me to hold my slip up away from things then she maneuvered my penis out from the gaff. My penis stood out like a rock in an instant. I could feel Miranda’s body against mine starting with her thighs and continuing up to her tits against my back, her chin on my shoulder and her cheek against mine watching the action below.

I could see myself from the waist up in the mirror with Miranda draped around me. I had seen that confused and conflicted look before, but I had never been to this place with another person. Not exactly anyway.

Miranda’s right hand started pulling me off while her other hand was massaging my leg left inside my stocking tops. It felt amazing to be handled by Miranda this way. Two totally feminine bodies pressed into each while encased in stockings, satin and heavy boning.

She obviously knew what she was doing as the sensation was almost too much to bear and there was no way I could last long like this. I closed my eyes and just let it happen. Our bodies gyrated in harmony as Miranda’s lace suspender garters rubbed against the bare skin of my legs. In a few moments I exploded. Miranda had positioned a tissue to catch the juices and she held me tight as the waves of orgasmic pleasure rippled through my body and came out through the end of my penis.

My mind went blank for just a moment, but when I recovered all of the sensations of wearing these beautiful clothes came back but with a lighter cooler touch. I was partially undressed and needed to repair my clothing and tarnished image.

“When you have got to go, you have got to go!” said Miranda. “Clean yourself up and do what you have to. I will put your corset back in place when you come back into room.”

With that Miranda washed and dried her hands then she walked out of the room. I felt kind of cheap. I looked in the mirror again and I was still the same fabulous looking woman in her twenties, but Miranda had just brought me off with her hand into a tissue after about two minutes.

What kind of a girl was I? I made my mind up there and then to never do that to Miranda ever again. She was worth more than that. I should apologize. I washed and fixed myself up and returned to Miranda’s room.

“I’m sorry Miranda,” I said.

“You don’t have to apologize Sophie. It’s a normal bodily function. I’m sorry that I couldn’t make it last longer for you. I am sure when we return later I will make it better for you.”

“Return from where?” I asked. Miranda fixed my corset and I put my skirt back on I now felt complete again.

“We are going out for a while but not for long. I have a little treat planned for you. We will just go down to the beach area for an hour. Plenty of time to get you home before ten.”

“But what about April?”

“April will be fine here with her father.”

“You mean Robert is here?”

“Of course. I just had him make himself scarce for a while. He is probably watching TV in the great room by now. We will go down to see him in a couple of minutes, now come over here while I put some jewelry on you.”

I was surprised to hear that Robert was here. I assumed that we were here on our own. It felt strange and interesting to know that I would see Robert in a few minutes while dressed like this.

Miranda gave me a matching necklace and a bracelet to wear then she gave me a ladies gold watch. I put them on. Then Miranda sprayed me with perfume. The perfume almost made me feel giddy with its aromatic fragrance, but as the mist settled the aroma was simply seductive. I felt complete and satisfied.

“I guess I am all done?” I said.

“Not quite,” said Miranda. “But I will do you nails when we go downstairs.”

I hadn’t thought about nails because I had never had them done before. I know that nail varnish is easy to remove, but easy to forget. Miranda took me by the hand and we made our way downstairs. I felt a little nervous to meet Robert in woman’s clothes with breasts like this on full view.

I had yet to meet a man who knew I was really a boy in a dress. It felt kind of special. When we went down, Robert was in the great room watching Monday Night Football. As he saw us he muted the TV and got up to stand in front of us. His white shirt was only buttoned at the waist and his silky tanned chest was showing. His head fell to one side and his soft black hair fell across his eyes. He put his arms out to welcome us.
“Wow! Don’t you two look fantastic? It makes me feel good to know that you are now going out to break some guy’s heart and then you are both going to come back to me.” Robert hugged Miranda then he moved to hug me.

“Sophia. How wonderful to meet you again for the first time. I have been watching pictures of you all weekend and I must say I find you fascinating. Maybe we can talk when you get back.”

He put his arms around my shoulders and back and held me against his chest and I put my arms around him. He felt amazingly solid and powerful. My face touched the skin of his chest as his shirt fell open. He smelled incredibly masculine and seriously arousing.

“Put her down Robert and don’t tease her,” said Miranda. “She will be coming back here to get changed to go home, nothing more. Sophia is a good girl and doesn’t do any of the things that you like to do.”

“How do you know that Miranda,” said Robert. “You haven’t given me any time to find out.”

“That’s enough flirting Robert. Tonight is a girl’s night out. You could have come with us but you chose not to. You chose to baby sit so please don’t make more of it than there is.”

“Sorry Darling,” he said returning to his football. “You know I can’t resist women as striking as you two.”

Miranda Turned to me and ushered me to the kitchen table. “Take no notice of him Miranda. He will flirt with you any chance he gets.” Miranda started to work on my nails.

“But why would Robert flirt with me?” I was sure that he couldn’t hear us over the TV.

“You are very beautiful as you sit there Sophia. Few men could resist you.”

“But Robert knows that I am a boy.”

“Sophia there are some men who would find you even more attractive if they found out that you have boy parts hidden beneath all that womanhood.”

“Is Robert one of them?”

“I am afraid so Sophia. He has always had a weakness in that area. I will keep him at bay for as long as I can, but one day I wont be here and he will, but I have lectured him more than once that he must never hurt you. He will always look after you whatever happens. He is a complete gentleman.”

I didn’t know what to do with that information. It sounded like Miranda was giving her permission to do who knows what with her husband.

The door dell rang and Robert leapt up to go to the door. I could see in the screen above the front door that the person outside was a woman showing lots of cleavage. When Robert opened the door the lady threw her arms around Robert without saying anything that I could hear, then she strode down the hallway towards us. It was Ellen.

She was wearing a sand colored business type suit with a skirt to mid thigh, a short sleeve bolero type jacket and a white silk and lace top that only just covered her bra. Her black hair hung in the breeze left behind her as she strode down the hallway. She looked fabulous.

Ellen strode over to Miranda and they shared a friendly embrace and kissed each other’s cheeks. Then Ellen came over to me.

“Wonderful to see you again so soon Sophia.” I stood to greet her and she hugged me like a long lost boyfriend and kissed me just under the ear. It made me shiver.

“I see Miranda has made a big impression on you Sophia.”

“Nice to see you again Ellen, but I am surprised to see you.”

“Martini women are always surprising. You will soon find that out. I am coming with you tonight. I have picked a pleasant little restaurant on the beach for us to spend an hour mixing with the local business people. We may see the occasional movie famous movie actor or rock star, but mainly we will just see lots of beautiful people and we will introduce you to a few. Are we ready to go?”

“Are you ready Sophia?” said Miranda.

“No!” I said. “Have you guys ever thought how frightening this is for me? You are telling me you are going to take me into a restaurant full of people in broad daylight. I have never done this type of thing before. I am frightened out of my skin.”

“Oh come on,” said Ellen. “On Saturday you were down at the post office chatting with boys and you had them eating out of your hands. We know you have nerves of steel. You were telling them jokes and had everyone falling about laughing.”

Lauren had obviously told them everything. I know! Martini women have no secrets from each other. That did put me at ease a little. I wondered if I should tell them that I was getting wet between the legs again. If I went out with them and sat on a chair, I might leave a wet mark. I realized that I had to tell Miranda.

“Miranda can we go upstairs for a minute?”

“Whatever is the matter darling?” she said.

“I need to tell you something upstairs, please?”

She considered the request for a moment then took me up the stairs into her bedroom. The other two watched us as we went. Neither of them commenting but I could sense to puzzlement. Inside her bedroom Miranda stopped me.

“Whatever is the matter Sophia. You have me perplexed.”

“Not wanting to be crude, but I have a little wetness problem between my legs,” I said.

“Whatever do you want me to do about it Sophia? We are not going into the bathroom again before we go out.”

“No that’s not what I need Miranda. I just need a pair of regular panties and a maxipad. I just need to keep dry.”

“Oh,” said Miranda. “Now that is a problem I can deal with without too much effort!”

Miranda gave me a delightful pair of white panties and a maxipad and I put them on. I do love the feeling of silky nylon panties covering my ass cheeks. Lace panties are sexy yes but I think full nylon panties are much more practical for a girl like me.

“OK, now I am ready.”

Miranda took my hand and guided me out of her room and down the stairs.

“We are ready Ellen. Let’s get going before she changes her mind.”

“The car is outside the door,” said Ellen.

I just followed along with whatever they told me. We skipped down the staircase our heels clattering against the marble steps, across the hallway to the door. Robert was there to open the door for us and we stepped out into the fading sunlight.

Ellen’s car was newish yellow Beetle convertible and the top was down. Miranda skipped into the back seat and ushered me into the front. Ellen got into the drivers seat, started the car and we put our seat belts on.

“Away we go ladies,” said Ellen.

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Chapter 2. Let’s get this party started.

Sunday September 8th continued.

I got to the apartment before 5 pm, let myself in and started carrying my stuff upstairs. Carla was at home but Angie and MJ were out. Carla helped me with a box or two but I moved most of the stuff myself. It wasn’t difficult. The most awkward stuff was the suitcases. I proceeded to place all my stuff in what seemed like reasonable locations then I put all of my male clothes away in closets. While I was doing this MJ and Angie came back and stood in the doorway watching.

“Welcome to our humble abode Leslie,” She said.
“Thank you,” I said. “I think I am going to really enjoy it here.”
“You don’t seem to have much stuff,” said MJ. “Where are you going to sleep? You can’t sleep with me because you haven’t bought me dinner yet. Angie’s got lots of room in her bed but she snores.”
“I do not,” said Angie, pretending to punch MJ on the shoulder. Angie and MJ were leaning against opposite sides of the doorway, looking like they had no intention of helping.
“So just to keep you informed,” said MJ. “It’s not too late for dinner and there are a couple of nice restaurants just down the street.”

As I was putting things away on shelves I pointed to the grey plastic bag in the corner. They looked at it and looked back at me.
“Looks like someone’s been shopping at Wal-Mart,” said MJ.
“That is my blow up bed,” I told them. “And next to it is the blower-upper electric pump. So I don’t need your hospitality even though it sounds very inviting. I am getting a queen sized bed delivered in the morning”
“Queen sized very nice,” said MJ. “We could probable all fit in there.”
“But then you would all have to buy me dinner,” I returned.

Then Angie took two steps across the room and reached for my red suitcase. “I could help hang up some of your stuff,” she said trying to lift up the case but I took it away from her. “I thought I might be able to help if you needed stuff washing,” she said.
“Thanks but no thanks. I will get to that later. I won’t have anything to do if you do it for me will I.”
“Well if you are struggling to find things to do you could probably make some dinner while we do some important research on the TV,” chirped MJ.
“That’s OK,” I said. “I have an adequate sufficiency of tasks at hand. I need no more or no less than I have to keep me happy.”
“OK then suit yourself. We will go and get some mac and cheese for supper.”
“It’s not mac and cheese MJ, I thought you liked my manicotti,” said Angie as they withdrew towards the kitchen.
“Oh I love your manicotti,” said MJ to Angie, then MJ poked her head around my door and said, “It’s just fancy mac and cheese you know and we made some extra for you if you want.”

I worked another 15 minutes getting my room straight then Angie came to my door and told me that there was still some manicotti left and it was still warm so I went into the kitchen to join them.

I got into the kitchen and they had set a place for me and were waiting for me to join them with a nice piece of piping hot manicotti. “There is salad in the bowl and we have some nice light dressings,” said Carla. “We normally take turns cooking.”
They had finished eating but were intent on watching me, but I didn’t care. I was hungry.

“What kind of food do you like to cook Leslie?” said Carla.
“My mom does most of the cooking but I guess I will have to learn. One thing my Mom did teach me is seafood marinara with linguini. Always one of my favorites.”
“What else?” said MJ.
“I can’t think of anything right now,” I said. “I have 3 older sisters so if my Mom didn’t have time to cook and my Dad was busy then any of them might cook.”
“But didn’t your Mom make a point of showing you how to cook like she did your sisters?
“I guess I was just never interested. My Dad showed me a couple of things. Microwave 101, Hamburger Helper 102 and eggs and bacon for breakfast.”
“I guess that makes you a daddy’s girl then Leslie?” said MJ. I thought to myself why is MJ being so bitchy? So I don’t cook. So what’s the problem?

“This is getting us nowhere.“ said Carla.” Let’s get on to every girls favorite subject, boyfriends. What boyfriends do you have right now Angie?
“Well you know Darren from home. He took me out a few times during the summer but it wasn’t like it was the year before. I also when out with Dale Shearer. He was in the same class as my sister June. He is a really nice guy. We had a nice couple of evenings together and last week he took me to dinner the night before I came back here. He is really nice. He kissed me outside our house and it seemed like we kissed for an hour without taking a breath, I was dizzy for ages afterwards, but he is a few years older than me and looking to find a wife. I am not interested in that yet.” She took a breath then continued.

“There is still Danny McLean from last year. He spent the summer in Europe but he texted me yesterday said he wanted to get back together.”
“OK that’s 3 boyfriends. That’s enough for anyone,” said Carla. “What about you Leslie do you have any boyfriends?”
“What me boyfriends of course not. I don’t even have a girlfriend right now.”
“See I told you,” said MJ.
“That doesn’t prove anything’” said Carla.
I was sure there was something I was missing. Are they trying to test me?

“Listen girls, we are going to have a nice evening in front of the TV so everyone go and put a nice nightie on and we will watch a girly movie together,” said Angie. “You too Leslie!”
I put my knife and fork down. “What?” I said.
“Go and get yourself a nice girly nightie out of that red suitcase of yours and come sit with us on the couch to watch a nice chick flick together.”
“We could watch legally Blonde 5 — Bleached and Belligerent,” said MJ.
“Stop it MJ,” said Carla. “What’s wrong with wearing a nice nightgown and sitting with your girlfriends to watch a chick flick Leslie?”

Now I realized what was happening. Was there something wrong with being a boy? I didn’t understand. They had seen my girl’s clothes in the red suitcase. Do they think I am a girl?

“Am I in trouble?” I said.
“We don’t know,” said MJ. “You tell us. Is there a problem with you wearing a nightie and sitting on the sofa to watch a chick flick with the other girls?”
“I think there may be a problem when you say ‘other girls’ MJ,” I said trying to resist the urge to burst out crying or run for the door.
“And why do you have a problem with being one of the other girls Leslie?”
“Because I am a boy?”
“At last,” said MJ.
“But you can’t be,” said Carla. “You are in a girl’s only residence and you have a suitcase full of girl’s clothes.”
“What do you mean girls only residence? I just picked it out of the newspaper that the college sent.” Angie left the kitchen and went to her room like she was on a mission.
“But what about the suitcase full of girl’s clothes,” said Carla? “What about them?’
“So I like girl’s clothes. Don’t you?”
“Yes but we are girls!” said Carla.
“I don’t like girl’s clothes,” said MJ. “You can have some of mine.”

Angie came back into the kitchen and laid out the school newspaper with all of the residences in. She showed me. “Here!” she pointed. “Here is the ad for our apartment.”
“OK,” I said.
“See this,” Angie said pointing to the large text at the top of the page. “What does it say?”
“Girls only residences,” I said. “I’m sorry I’m sorry OK. I didn’t see that bit.”
“Oh brilliant,” said Carla. “The biggest boldest text on the page and the mathematician/ computer science wiz over here can’t see it.”

“Look it gets worse,” said Angie. “This morning the dean’s office called and asked about you Leslie. They asked because they thought you were a boy and saw your name on our residence registration form for a girl’s residence. They asked us to confirm that you were a girl, so we went into your room and opened up your suitcase where we found nothing but girl’s clothes and girl’s stuff so I told the dean’s office you were definitely a girl. They said they would change all of the paperwork to correct the mistake.”
“But they will have to change it back again,” I said.
“But she also said,” continued Angie. “That all of the boys residences had been filled up and the nearest place is miles and miles away.”
“Oh shit,” I said out loud. “What the hell am I going to do now?”
“Well boys can’t stay in this apartment,” said Angie.
“But if the dean’s office thinks she is a girl then we don’t have a problem.” MJ continued.

“I’m not having a boy wandering around my apartment while I am asleep,” said Carla.
“But someone wondering around the apartment in a nightie wouldn’t worry you so much would it Carla?” asked MJ.
“What do you mean MJ,” asked Carla.
“If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and maybe wears some duck clothing?” said MJ.
“What on earth made you think of that MJ,” asked Carla.
“My favorite song,” she said. Then MJ picked up the kitchen tower and holding it around her hips like a skirt while dancing and singing the old Killers song.
“Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend I had in February of last year.”

I had my head in my hands and all I could think of was Fuck what do I do now?
“But she’s a boy MJ,” said Angie.
“Are you sure,” said MJ. “She looked like a girl to you earlier and we all agreed to let her move in here when we thought she was a girl.”
“But she’s flat chested and wears those stupid baggy clothes,” said Carla.
“Like me you mean,” said MJ.
“No not like you MJ, you are obviously a.” Carla didn’t finish her sentence.
“Would dyke be an appropriate work Carla,” said MJ.
“That’s not what I meant MJ,” said Carla. “She is a boy!”
“She is not a convincing boy Carla,” said MJ. “I don’t like boys but she looks kissable to me. But I do know that she would look even better with a bra and a little eye shadow.”
All my plans for the last few weeks were turning upside down. I couldn’t wear girl’s clothes and go to college as a girl, could I?

Angie had moved to the seat next to me and had placed a hand on my shoulder. Right now I could do with a little support from one of my sisters and if Angie offered I was going to cry on her shoulder for sure. Tears were silently running down my cheeks right now.

Angie whispered quietly in my ear. “Why don’t you show me those nice clothes you have in your red suitcase?”
Angie was offering me a solution that while it had some advantages could easily make me throw up at any moment. Was I now going to show a girl the nice girl’s clothes I wear when there was no one looking. What if she asks what I do when I am wearing them? Part of it is sexual gratification. I would have to hide that part and smile at everybody. ‘Hey it’s me, just an ordinary girl, try to ignore my penis. ’
“Has anyone ever seen you wearing girl’s clothes Leslie,” she asked.
“No, not since my sisters used to dress me up when I was little.”

Angie now had her other hand resting on my wrist. “You have to make a decision quickly because tomorrow morning you are going to commit your future for the next year. I think there are 3 people in this room who would help you if you want to stay here as a girl.” MJ and Carla were looking at us without saying anything, but there eyebrows were raised in what I thought might be sympathy.

“And I can still take you to some of those clubs I was telling you about,” said MJ. “They would be even more interested now.”
“MJ you are not being helpful,” said Carla.
“No,” said MJ. “But I am enjoying myself.”

“What did your sisters used to do to you when they dressed you up as a girl Leslie?” asked Angie.
“We used to play games and be nice to each other. I was one of them when I wore dresses and stuff,” I said.
“Did you enjoy wearing dresses with your sisters?”
“Yes,” I nodded my head. “I really enjoyed playing games with my sisters we used to play house and play with their dolls and stuff. When I wore my boy’s clothes they didn’t want to play with me. I usually played on my own or I had to go out and find someone else to play with.”

Angie looked at Carla and MJ and they made some kind of agreement without speaking. Then Angie lifted up my chin and looked into my eyes.
“OK this is how it’s going to be,” Angie said. “If you want to go find yourself somewhere else to stay we can let you stay tonight but tomorrow morning you will have to move out and get yourself somewhere else to live, or,” She looked up at the other two girls and they nodded in agreement. “You could go put on a nice nightie and come join us on the sofa for a nice girl’s movie night.”
“And you will have to promise to leave the toilet seat down at all times,” said Carla.

Then Angie pulled me to her. From my seat across the table I could only rest my head on her shoulder but it was nice. I pulled myself together and stood in front of them. “I am going to my room to do some thinking for a while.” I said.
“We will keep a seat warm on the sofa,” said Carla.
“How could I turn that invitation down?” I asked. I walked towards my room.
“Hey Leslie,” said MJ. “If you are going to be a girl for the next year can I use some of your boy’s clothes. Maybe we could trade.”
“We can negotiate,” I said.

When I got back to my room I knew that I had to talk to Fiona. She was the only other person in the world that I could speak to about this. So I called her.
“So you remember when we were kids you used to dress me in girl’s clothes.”
“Yeh.”
“Well do you remember how I used to like wearing girl’s clothes?”
“Yeh.”
“Well I still do.”
“Yeh.”
“Well are you angry with me?”
“No, why would I be angry with you?”
“Because I like to wear girl’s clothes.”
“But I like to wear girl’s clothes too.”
“But you’re a girl.”
“Leslie I love you, and I have known that you have been wearing our clothes for years. Is that all you are worried about?”
“You knew?”

“Of course we knew. We just didn’t want to embarrass you. We love you too much.”
“Didn’t you think I might be gay or something?”
“What do you think Dawn has been doing to you these last few years?”
“What?”
“Checking to find out if you are gay.”
“So what did you find out?”
“We don’t think you’re gay.”
“But I really like to wear girl’s clothes.”
“And we feel guilty about that. We used to dress you in girl’s clothes and play dolls and stuff with you. Sometime we wouldn’t let you wear boy’s clothes for days at a time while Mom and Dad were out anyway. At first Mom and Dad would let us do it but after a while they told us to stop, but that didn’t stop us altogether, but they thought you would be confused.”

“I am confused. Sometimes I think about what it would have been like if I was a girl,” I said.
“And sometimes we believe that we did that to you, but we have also had discussions with doctors and other specialists about you,” said Fiona.
“What did they say?”
“They said that if you didn’t like it then you would have told us. They said that some boys just like to wear girl’s clothes, and there is not a dammed thing you or anyone else can do about it.”
“So what did you do about it?”
“We didn’t do a dammed thing. Well. That is not exactly true. We didn’t tell Mom and Dad but we put a collection of girl’s clothes and shoes and stuff in the spare room and left it there hoping that if you had access to those you wouldn’t need to touch our stuff. Did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Did you keep on going into our stuff once we let the collection of clothes for you in the spare room?”
“I did wear the clothes in the spare room. I tried to stay out of your stuff as much as possible when I could, but it was always tempting.”

“We could tell, you know. Once Barbara first suspected that you had been in her clothes she talked to Mom but Mom thought it was me. So they talked to me and I said it wasn’t me either, so Barbara and Dawn used to place things in certain ways in their draws and stuff and sometimes you would move things.”
“Booby trapped.”
“You could say that but we never wanted to hurt you with it. We just wanted out things to stay our things, but we never stopped you.”
“Well right now I have bigger problems.”
“Please carry on,” she said. “I am all ears.”

I told her about the mistake with the girl’s residence and the girls believing I was a girl.
“I told you so,” she said.
Then I told her about the phone call from the dean’s office, that Angie had told the dean’s office that I am definitely a girl because of the suitcase and that all of the boy’s rooms were taken for miles and miles.

“You are so screwed,” she said. “And you can’t stay with me because I’m in a girl’s residence too. So what are you going to do?”
“Well,” I said trying to obtain the maximum dramatic effect. “I am going to put on a nice new nightie, panties and matching robe, put on a little eye shadow and lipstick and go sit on the couch.”
“You’re crazy,” Fiona said. “They will kick your ass.
“No they won’t. It was their idea. They thought I was a girl the first time we met anyway. They all accepted that I must be a girl if I came and presented myself for a girl’s only residence. They just I thought I dressed badly. I think MJ thought I was a tomboy or a lesbian.”

“Are you going to go to school as a girl too?”
“Yes of course. That is the main reason I am here anyway. There is no point otherwise.”
“So what if Mom and Dad find out.”
“I think we must be able to hide it for a while till I figure out what to do, but I have very few options and I think this is the best one right now.”
“OK,” said Fiona. “What’s your schedule tomorrow?”
“I have to stay in for the delivery guys with the bed till 12 then I have meet and greets and orientations all afternoon and evening. Why?”
“I am coming over first thing. See you in the morning sister.” She hung up.

I felt a lot better now I knew my sister Fiona was on my side and even in my corner so to speak. I hate sports analogies but that one is one of the better ones. I had to consider what to wear because I was now going to go sit with the girls on the sofa and I had to select the most feminine things I could think of. I selected a pair of nude colored control panties first to hide my male bits, then the matching panties to my nightie over the top. I selected a loose fitting bra and placed my chicken fillets inside, put my nightie and robe on and I was dressed.

It didn’t feel at all sexy but it is what it is. Comfortable. I brushed my hair so to lift it up a little on top of my head. I put on a little eye shadow, blush and lipstick, picked up a bottle of nail polish and an emery board and strolled into the lounge.
“OK girls what movie are we watching? I hope you don’t mind me doing my nails?”

I only wished I would have thought of some high heeled slippers.

A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Chapter 3. Into the great wide open. Monday morning September 9th.

We had a delicious night on the sofa last night and they girls were really nice to me. I told them all about my sisters and they told me about their families. I felt really lucky compared to MJ and Angie.

Carla had a similar family upbringing to me in that she had a Mom and Dad and a younger sister who did all of the normal family stuff. They owned a restaurant in Allentown.

Angie was raised by her mostly single mother near Atlantic City where her mother worked the tables, but at times her mother had boyfriends and at one time a step-father but none of them stuck around. Angie’s mother was very protective, and Angie’s grandmother helped out as much as she could, but it was always a struggle one way or another, mainly for money.

Although Angie had qualified and been accepted from high school, she had worked more than a full year in the casinos to save up for school before going to college. Angie was a beautiful girl and as I was learning beautiful girls often find their way in life a little easier than the rest of us, but she was going to be working part time during the school to pay the bills.

MJ had been in the juvenile system for most of her childhood. She didn’t know her father and she didn’t meet her mother till she turned 18 and doesn’t see her mother now. She got close to some nasty stuff growing up but she say that she was never hurt because she was a good screamer.

She says she was taught from an early age that if she doesn’t like something, somebody touching her for instance, then she should scream. She said it seemed to work for her. She said she hated the system, but it had helped with getting her into college and paying some of the bills.

It seems that Angie being a freshman didn’t know many people here. Carla had some friends and she would introduce me to some of them, but MJ’s friends were a totally different crowd. MJ would hang out with Carla sometimes but other times she went off to find some of her own kind she says. She didn’t say what kind of friends they were but she said I could meet them.
We mostly finished off two bottles of wine between us while we were watching ‘Crazy Stupid Love’ which they said was a chick flick, but I didn’t understand that because large amount of the movie is Ryan Gosling picking up women, but they said it’s all about when he picks up Emma Stone over his head and then they spend the rest of the night talking.

That is why it’s so romantic and that’s what makes it a chick flick. I said why don’t you just fast forward the Ryan Gosling pick up bits but they said no girl in her right mind would ever fast forward Ryan Gosling. Then I understood. Those abbs.

During the night I had a couple of stupid dreams. The first one I was with a group of young girls all kissing and hugging each other while dressed in frilly nightgowns, then the one I was kissing turned into my Dad in a frilly nightgown. I screamed and woke myself up.

The second dream was even sillier but more shocking to me. I was standing on the college presentation stage waiting to receive my degree when the dean shouted across for everyone to hear ‘Miss Haigt before you come over here can you put your penis away.’ Everyone was laughing. It was horrible.

The rest of my night was good, at least my blow-up bed did not go down. I woke in the morning dreaming of Fiona cuddling me like she had the day before, at least I thought it was Fiona. I could feel some wonderfully nice big firm tits in the middle of my back. Then I realized I was awake and it couldn’t be Fiona or anyone else in the apartment it had to be.

“CARLA!” I shouted. I scooted quickly across the bed away from her and found myself dumped on the floor still wearing my nightie, bra and panties.
Fiona, MJ and Angie were laughing at the foot of the bed. MJ said, “We drew straws for who would try it first.”

“I won,” said Carla then she turned to Fiona. “You were right. She didn’t have a clue I was there, till I started rubbing my hand on her stomach.” Carla was laying on my bed in a short nightgown and panties almost exposing herself. When I looked at her she looked back but didn’t move. Her tits were impressive almost spilling out the side of her nightgown.

“What’s going on?” I asked, trying to cover up and compose myself.
“I couldn’t help it,” said Fiona. “I told the girls that if I crept real carefully into your bed and snuggled up to you, you wouldn’t wake up. I have been doing it for years”

“Yeh but sometimes I know you are doing it but I never complain. Mom used to do it. Once in a while Dawn would do it but not for a long time. Barbara never has.”

“Oh you don’t know the whole story,” said Fiona. “I have tried to get into your bed a couple of times and found Barbara in there with you. I bet you couldn’t tell the difference when we are behind you because she is so similar in size and shape to me. Thing is she only stays for a while then goes back to her own bed.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said.

“Didn’t your Mom and Dad think it strange and stop you from doing it?” said MJ.
“I don’t think so,” said Fiona. “Leslie and I have been like inseparable since I can remember. I used to climb into his crib when he was tiny and Mom had to lift me out when I was sleeping, so she said. After they thought he was big enough they just left us alone.”

“You used to climb into HER crib when SHE was younger,” said MJ.
“Sorry,” said Fiona. “It’s going to take me a little while.”

“So it’s 8 o’clock young miss and we need breakfast,” said MJ looking at me but pointing to her bare wrist.
“What, you want me to cook?”

‘No Leslie we are all going out for breakfast.” They said together.
“Leslie, go take a shower and put some underwear on,” said Fiona. “Then come into the kitchen because we are going to do your hair and make-up.”

So I got myself some underwear from my red suitcase and went to the bathroom. Then I realized that one thing I did not have was a bath towel. I shouted down the hall to them and Angie said just use whatever is there.

They all smelled so nice, but I guess I would smell like that in a few minutes. I got myself a shower, dried off, towel dried my hair and put on some new panties.

I do enjoy the sensuous touch of nice girl’s panties. They are so much cleaner and comfier than thick cotton boy’s undies. I put on a bra, chicken fillets and a half slip. I didn’t have a camisole top but that was one of a long list of things I would need to buy.

I put on some of the girl’s deodorant that was abundant in the bathroom and a little bit of talcum powder down the back of my panties, put on my frilly robe and I was headed for the kitchen where Angie grabbed me by the arm and sat me down where she wanted me to sit at the end of the table while MJ arranged a coffee for me.

“My!” said Angie, ‘We have a blank page to work with today girls,”.
“I don’t need much make-up,” I said. “I am not looking for a boyfriend.”
“But you do not want to look in between like you did yesterday,” said Angie. “You looked kind of like a girl when we first met you but we were expecting a girl. If we were expecting a boy we would probably have accepted you were a boy. The people you meet today will need to know from the first time they look at you that you are definitely a girl. You have to make a statement with how you look and what you wear.”

“Kind of how I do with my clothes,” said MJ. MJs t shirt today said - LOOK AT MY TITS AGAIN AND I WILL STAMP ON YOUR FOOT!
“I’m sorry MJ if you don’t want to hear it but you are a very pretty woman regardless of what you are wearing,” said Carla. “Leslie here needs just a little work to make it totally convincing.”

I didn’t get any say in the matter so they decided to give me a full make-over, starting with foundation all over, blusher, mascara, everything. There were 3 sets of hands working on me so it seemed to go quickly till they decided that one side was different to the other so they had to make some changes but it was still a lot quicker than I would have done.

Then Fiona decided to do my hair because hers was similar. She brushed and teased it added some spray stuff then brushed it some more then they looked at me. “You really need a girl’s haircut as your hair really has no shape at all right now, but I think this will do for now.”

“Think we are done,” they agreed.
“Can I see,” I asked but they had no mirrors here so they sent me to the bathroom.

I was quite astonished. ‘I’m a girl.’ I said to myself. I looked good, attractive. I wanted a piece of me of me looking like that. I got a sudden growing in my groin and had to make and adjustment in my panties. I guess I was going to need those control panties from last night, but they were the only pair I had. More shopping required.

“Leslie, put on that nice summer dress from the top of your suitcase,” Angie shouted from the kitchen. “It will look good with your coloring.”

I was still looking at myself in the mirror. The make-up had completely changed my appearance and highlighted my features. I had a resemblance to Fiona in that I had a similar small nose, lips and chin, but my eyebrows were lower than hers, my eyes seemed wider apart than before and my jaw line was a little wider and more pointed. I was one hot babe and I had a growing pressure in my panties.

I grabbed my control panties and went to the corner of the room to put them on under my slip but even that felt arousing. I had to think of something to distract me so I thought of the hairs on my dad’s chest growing up and out of the top of his t shirt.

That did the trick with my penis, but the whole situation had become a huge turn-on. Now I had to put on a dress. I decided to just put the dress on and walk out of the bedroom without looking. I stepped into then pulled the dress up around me.

I tried to ignore the silky sensation as the dress slid against my skin. The lining I think was nylon and the outer layer was chiffon with yellow and orange as the principle colors. It was sleeveless with ruffles around the semi plunging neck line, and hem line which was about 4 inches above my knee, but as I tried to fasten the side zip it started to get stuck as the dress was just a little tight around the waist. Fiona had come into the room to see what I was doing. From her position behind me she put her hands either side of my waist.

“I guess your shape is not quite that of a normal girl,” she said. “We will have to get you some serious foundation garments to address that little area!” But when she made me breathe in and lift my chest up we were able to fasten the zipper all the way.

She maneuvered me in front of the full length mirror and what I saw was a version of me, in a dress and full make-up with my sister standing next to me. It was a little disorienting. I shouldn’t be in this picture but there I was. I am not sure who is the prettier.

My sister turned me around and hugged me. I was still fighting the arousal and this was the first time anyone had ever hugged me while I had been dressed as a girl since I was little. My lower parts were testing the resilience of my control panties but fortunately they held, in spite of the strange sensation of two sets of tits resting on each other.

“Shoes,” said Fiona.
“Shoes,” I replied. I looked in my red suitcase for some shoes but nothing magically appeared other than a pair of 6” strappy hooker shoes with clear soles that I attempted to hide, and a pair of black round toed ballerina flats that used to belong to one of my sisters.

“I think they were mine,” said Fiona.
“I don’t have much opportunity to buy shoes,” I said.
“More shopping required this afternoon. I hope you have a good bank balance?” said Fiona.
“I am sure it’s not going to be big enough,” I added.
“Come on Leslie let’s go for breakfast.”

With my chiffon dress and my ballerina flats on I headed into the kitchen feeling wonderfully feminine but with a slight fullness and just a little wetness between my legs.

“Well look at you, doesn’t she look sweet girl’s” said Carla.
“Hey hotcakes,” said MJ. “Remember that dinner I offered you. I am free all this week!”
“Leave her alone MJ she’s not your type,” said Carla.
“Well I just want the opportunity to discuss that with her,” said MJ.

Carla and Angie were either side of me holding my arms up and taking a close look. Carla held one arm up over my head and made me twirl around.
“Nice but you don’t have one bit of jewelry,” said Angie. Then she strode quickly into her bedroom and returned with some baubles for my wrists.

“This will do for now.”
“We will get her ears pierced this afternoon while we are out shopping,” said Fiona. ‘We might have to do all of our jewelry shopping in Ardene or Le Chateau but we won’t come back without a good supply.”

“While you are out why don’t you get her a ring for her nose like the rest of you have,” said MJ.
“Why are you so resistant to women looking their best MJ,” said Carla. “It makes us feel good.”
“I want someone to appreciate me for my personality and intellect,” said MJ. “Not because I look like a teen beach model.”

“You have to get them a little bit interested in you first before they get to know about your fabulous personality and intellect,” said Carla. “If you had an intellect that is!”
“You know I can get you back for comments like that Carla when you are not looking,” said MJ. “I might bend all of the under wires in all of your bras.”

“That’s enough girl’s,” said Angie. “Let’s go have breakfast.”
“What about my bed?” I said.
“We are only going down the road,” said Carla. “We can see down the road from the restaurant.”

The door opened and we started down the stairs, but I started to feel queasy. I looked down and I could see my feet in Fiona’s shoes. My knees pushing a frilly dress out in front of me. Angie’s baubles bouncing around on my wrists and I was about to go out in the open dressed as a girl with my arms, shoulders and upper chest uncovered. I was about to panic. I got down the stairs then I reached for Fiona’s are and pulled her aside. She looked at me with questions in her eyes.

“What’s up,” she said.
I was having trouble putting my thoughts together logically. “I’ve never done this before,” I said. “What do I do?”
“What are you talking about Leslie,” she asked.
“The dress,” I said.
“It’s very pretty,” said Fiona. “What’s the problem?”
“I have never been outside in a dress.” I said.
“She’s panicking,” said Fiona to the girls.
MJ came over to me and took my hands and placed them in front of me like in a prayer.

“Listen,” she said, “I need you to answer these question. Look at me.”
“Who is the president?” she asked.
“Bush,” I said. “No, Obama.”
“OK,” she said. “Where do your parents live?’
“Reading Pennsylvania.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
“And what year was the first moon landing?”
“I don’t know,” I said getting exasperated.
“So do you want to kiss me right now or what?”
“No,” I said and pulled my hands away from her.

MJ Turned around and walked out of the conservatory towards the road.
“She is alright now,” said MJ back towards the rest of us.
Carla leapt after her and said, “What was that all about.”
“I was just getting her to think about something other than what she was thinking about,” she said. “I think she will be fine now. Can we go eat, I’m hungry?”

I didn’t understand what had happened, but I was OK. All of a sudden this all seemed, well–nice! I was wearing a dress and I was outside in the fresh air and I felt like a totally different person. I was not the normal boy I used to be only yesterday. I felt like a girl, all be it a nervous girl.

So we all walked towards the end of the road. MJ and Carla were in front with me surrounded by Fiona on one side and Angie on the other arm in arm with both of them, although we had to dodge a couple of big oak trees a couple of times. It felt refreshing in the cool late summer air.

It was really interesting to feel the wind blow my skirt around. I felt kind of exposed, especially as I was the only one in a dress. The others had jeans on, but they seemed to be like a security detail protecting me.

The restaurant was in a really old storefront where the windows came out into the street. Inside it was long and narrow with a counter all the way up one side like it had been store at one time and the owners never remodeled except to paint and put some pictures on the wall. There were some other people inside and they seemed to take no notice of us.

We got the only table in the window which was nice because we could see up the road where we expected to see the delivery truck arrive with my bed. We sat and started reading the menus.

I noticed that the only waitress I could see was strikingly attractive, quite tall and powerful looking. She was a substantial woman, not exactly pretty but had the most amazing shape. From the side she has quite big breasts that her black dress covered but a very flat stomach and slim waist with athletic thighs.

From behind she had beautifully shaped hips and a well-defined waist and her torso went out in a dramatic V to her wide shoulders. She had very strong facial features and beautiful eyes. There was no way she could be mistaken for a boy. She was looking right at me.

“Leslie,” Fiona spoke in my ear from behind me. “You are supposed to tell the lady what you would like drink.”
“Oh, coffee please,” I asked.
“Just coffee,” she said. “Or would you like an autographed picture as well?”

I blushed instantly realizing that I had been starring. “I’m sorry,” I said. “But you are strikingly attractive.”
“You are very pretty too, but I only serve coffee and breakfast here.” She smiled at me for more than a moment then we all ordered coffee and she turned back and returned to the counter.

Fiona was kicking me under the table. I turned to face her then realized that they were all surprised at me.
“Leslie,” said Carla slapping my hand. “You were hitting on the waitress.”
“I wasn’t, was I?”
“Where did that come from?” said Fiona. “Remember you are wearing a dress.”
“That could make things awkward couldn’t it?” I answered.

“I know a few people who wouldn’t have a problem with it,” said MJ. “I think she likes you Leslie.”
“And what would you do if she asked you out?” said Angie.
“I would probably pee my pants,” I said. ‘I have never touched a woman that beautiful.”

“What about me and your sisters Leslie?” said Fiona. “I thought we were the most beautiful things in your life.”
“You are my sisters,” I said. “I can’t look at you the way I do other women.”
“What about Dawn,” she said. “You have certainly been looking at her lately.”

“That’s because she has been shoving it down my throat.”
“But you haven’t been complaining.”
“And neither would any 19 year old who has never had a girlfriend.”
“You’ve never had a girlfriend?” asked Angie and Carla.
“This discussion is not appropriate in a public place,” I said as someone kicked me under the table and the waitress suddenly appeared behind me.

“So what will you ladies have?”
MJ ordered a bacon and egg muffin. Carla ordered a big breakfast. Fiona and Angie both ordered bacon, eggs and a pancake then I said, “I was thinking of the pancake breakfast.”

“That’s not good for you figure,” said the waitress as she placed her hand delicately on my bare shoulder. Her touch was electric. I was instantly turned on just as when Dawn had dangled her tits in front of me. She said, “Try the breakfast fruit bowl; it’s what I eat when I’m here.” She had bent down closer to me and I had turned my head towards her. I could taste coffee on her sweet breath and it was delicious.

“Er,--sound good to me,” I said.
“Good, I will prepare some especially for you,” she said as she gentle rubbed my shoulder. Then she turned around and went back to the counter.

MJ couldn’t wait to say something as the lady left. “She wants you, you scrawny little bitch. You have only been here 5 minutes and you have scored the best looking girl on the street.”

“I don’t believe it. She was either just being friendly or she was winding me up,” I said.
“You have only been a girl 5 minutes,” said Carla, “and you have turned into a lesbian already.” Angie was trying not to giggle.

Fiona had her head in her hands for a moment then she looked at me in astonishment. Then she turned to the others. “I don’t know what to tell you,” she said. “Young Leslie here would not say ‘boo to a goose’ when she was wearing pants, but now. I don’t know what to say.”

“There is nothing to say,” I said. “She is just a very friendly person. And anyway I am not in any position to do anything about it. How would I explain my, how should I put it, my orientation.”
“You don’t have to explain anything Leslie,” said MJ. “Just see how far you get before it comes up.”
“I think it would come up pretty quickly.” I said.
“Said the actress to the bishop,” said MJ.

MJ, Carla and me laughed, but I don’t think Fiona or Angie got the joke. Some people from other tables looked over but I don’t think we really bothered them.

Fiona changed the subject. “You do look a lot prettier than I expected Leslie.”
“Thanks Fiona,” I said and reached for her hand.
“I can’t believe that you have no hair whatsoever on your face,” said Angie. “I have more facial hair than you.”

“I cheat,” I said. “I got one of those home laser machines as soon as they came out a couple of years ago. The instructions say that it should not be used for men’s facial hair but I thought that as I was not really a man at the time I would try it. It works wonderfully. I use it every couple of weeks, which reminds me that is another item I didn’t bring from home.

“Cool, I will have to try it on my bikini line,” said MJ.
“I didn’t know you had a bikini line,” said Carla.
“Did you honestly think I was being serious Carla,” said MJ.
“Oooh I wonder what kind of hairy spiders den you have down there,” said Carla.
“I could show you,” said MJ. “But you would have to but me dinner first.”
“Dinner,” said the waitress. “You haven’t started your breakfast yet!”

She had come over with the food. Bacon and egg muffin for MJ. Big breakfast for Carla. Bacon, eggs and a pancake for Fiona and Angie and she reached around my left hand side to put my breakfast in front of me, then went back to the counter.

“You didn’t see that did you?” I asked MJ and Carla who were sitting opposite me.
“No, what?” they asked.
“As she was putting my food down with her left hand, her right hand was feeling my ribs under my right arm.”
“She wants you,” said MJ.
“She is winding you up like a top set to spin off the table Leslie,” said Angie.

“I agree with Leslie that she is just being friendly,” said Carla. “She is attractive but I don’t understand why someone looking that good is serving us breakfast on a Sunday morning in Mt. Laurel New Jersey.”
“Leave it alone,” said Fiona. “She is probably just being nice to everyone. I bet she is just a student like us trying to meet people.”

We continued to eat our breakfast and we were all complementary about our meals. My breakfast fruit bowl was delicious but I couldn’t help thinking how a couple of sausages would improve it. We were nearing the end of our meals when the nice server lady came over and pulled up a chair at our table and sat between Carla and Angie.

“The food here seems really good,” she said. “I have only been working here a couple of days and everyone complements the food.”
There was a round of grunts and mumbles agreeing with her.

“I am guessing you ladies are going to the college here?” she asked.
“Yes four of us are,” said Angie. “I am a freshman in engineering, Carla and MJ are in their second year while Leslie here is a freshman in mathematics.”
“Mathematics,” said the young lady who was still nameless. “I thought only guys took mathematics.”
“I was thinking she might be guy under that dress,” said MJ. “When we get back to the apartment I think I should check.”

“Don’t listen to MJ, she is jealous of Leslie’s good looks. I am the odd one out,” said Fiona. “I am just here to help my sister to orient herself in her new college. My name is Fiona. I am a sophomore at Philly School of Arts.”

“I am Rebecca March. I too am a student at Winston College but I am a returning student. I finished a bachelors in business a year ago but now I am coming back to do an MBA. So which arts do you do Fiona? Are you an artist?”
“I study music and play the cello, but in my spare time Leslie and I play guitar and sing.”

“Cool. What kind of stuff do you play? Are you good?” asked Rebecca.
“We play any type of modern song that we can do together,” I told her. “Rock, pop, country and a few alternative things thrown in.”
“We think we are good but we don’t have any recording contracts yet,” said Fiona. “We have played a couple of school recitals and one at my university but we have never been paid or anything.”

“Well,” said Rebecca. “If you are any good you can play here and earn a little bit of spending money. The owner is looking for a couple of acts to play here in the evenings to attract the students.”

I didn’t know how to answer that so I let Fiona handle it. “We can only say we can think about it,” she said. “Neither of us knows our schedules and other commitments yet. The other problem is that I have near an hours drive to my residence in Philly. I am only here today to get my little sister settled in.”
“No problem,” said Rebecca. “You think about it and let me know if you are interested.”

It was just then that a furniture van drove up our road and stopped outside our apartment. I asked Fiona to cover my bill, which was the only thing I could do because I was not carrying a purse and scooted on up to meet the van bringing the stuff that my Dad had ordered. I let them into the apartment and they started bringing the stuff up the stairs.

I realized while I was showing them where the stuff should go that this was the first ever time I had been in the company of men while I was in a dress, but they were very nice to me and the two younger ones tried to be in the same room as me as much as they could and get a good look at my legs, especially as I was walking up the stairs in front of them.

They brought a queen sized bed with a headboard, which they assembled for me, a computer chair, a reclining lounge chair for relaxing and a 5 draw dresser made from nice solid wood.

The obvious leader of the 3 men came to me as they were getting to leave. “I thought this furniture was for Leslie, but you can’t be Leslie because Leslie is a boy.”

“Oh, I am Fiona. Leslie had some things to attend to,” I said a little hesitantly, not knowing how he knew Leslie’s sex.
“I didn’t think it was you but now I see it,” he added. “We met last year at your college Christmas recital. My daughter is at the Philly school of arts too and that is how I know your Dad.”

‘This is getting tricky’ I thought to myself. I can see me getting caught out here.
“I am sorry but I have forgotten,” I improvised. “And who is your daughter again?”
“Marcy Day of course!”
“Oh now I remember,” I said. “And how is Marcy anyway?”

“I was going to ask you the same thing as I haven’t seen her for a few days since she went back to the school. I believe you two are close neighbors at the residence.”
“Well I have been over here a lot looking after Leslie. But when I see Marcy, maybe later on today, I will tell her I talked to you.”

We said our goodbyes and the furniture van rolled of down the road, but then it turned around in the street and came back this way just as Fiona and the others were walking back towards the apartment. I hoped he wouldn’t notice but I am sure he got a good look at Fiona as he drove by. All I could do was hope that he didn’t tell my Dad of our meeting, but there again he must have thought I was Fiona. I hope this doesn’t complicate things.

After the furniture guys left I packed away the blow-up bed, made up my new bed and was testing out my new lounge chair when the girls came in. MJ came over to me and handed me a business card. It was for Rebecca March with her cell number, email and everything. I just looked up at them in amazement.

“I only said jokingly that you wanted her phone number and she gave me this,” said MJ. “She said you could call her anytime.”
The other girls were close to giggling as MJ was talking.
“I want to know what you are going to do when you see her,” said Fiona.
“And I just want all the graphic details,” added MJ.

“I am not going to do anything with this of course,” I told them. “I will just keep it in case we need to know when the restaurant is open or something.”
“Or something what?” asked MJ.”
“We may need to know what the special is.”
“I bet you’re gonna be the special,” said MJ.
From that comment I learned that not everything MJ says is funny.

“Leslie it’s after 10am and we need to go shopping,” said Fiona. “We need to make a serious attempt to fully equip your wardrobe. What time is your first registration appointment?”
“2pm.”
“Then we don’t have time to go into Philly so we will be starting at the local Wal-Mart, Target and then head for Cherry Hill Mall.”

We had our list of things I needed so we were close to leaving when Fiona wanted me to run down a list of all the things a girl might need while we were out. Lipstick, make-up, tissues, mirror, maxipads, (no real girl leaves home without emergency supplies), money, credit cards, ID and Iphone. Fiona made me place them all on the bed.

“OK, so what are you going to carry them in?” asked Fiona.
I produced a mid-sized light brown leather bag out of the red suitcase.
“That looks like one of mine!” Fiona exclaimed.
“I don’t get out handbag shopping much,” I replied.
Fiona gave me a look of resigned acceptance.
“So let’s go into the washroom to fix up you make-up,” said Fiona.

Make-up, was one of the tasks I would have to learn fast, plus a whole host of other girly things. Bad make-up, Fiona explained, would be noticed by most ordinary girls and would be a source of ridicule and embarrassment. Time must be taken to get yourself looking good. Most women of my age had been practicing the art for maybe 10 years in some cases. Even most women who profess to not wearing make-up will probably use some and be skilled at hiding it.

Fiona thought that MJ probably used some foundation to smooth out the imperfections in her skin that everybody has, and probably a little mascara and eye shadow well blended. Fiona also commented that MJ could look really pretty if she wanted to. I thought so too.

With my make-up repaired and my clothing straightened out (a girl with my additional equipment always seems to need occasional adjusting in the lower pelvic area), I piled all of my stuff into the handbag and we were off to go shopping. The nearest Wal-Mart was not far, especially using the GPS. Didn’t seem to take more than 5 minutes to get there!

Today has been and continues to be a very special day for me. I have done many things that I have never done before and most of them I had hardly dreamed of a couple of days ago and I certainly hadn’t planned any of them, but I was getting accustomed to some things, but others were continuing to be difficult.

I was enjoying wearing a dress, and even though I had not worn a dress in public before, the only possible exception could be when my sisters dressed me up when I was small and took me to a couple of places, but back then I only a young child and was not aware of the implications.

Right now I feel like I belong in a dress. I love it. If I didn’t think people were watching I would be skipping through the Wal-Mart parking lot and feeling the fresh air and my skirt swirling around my legs. I feel feminine. I feel confident that others will think that I am feminine and maybe even a little pretty, and I think that some people will find me attractive as a girl, which is a big change to me because I always felt like either a dork or a nerd when I am a boy.

So, even though I am going to put myself up for display in front of whoever happens to be walking around and later in front of all of the people that I was going to spend the college year with, I felt OK, but I did feel like it could all come crashing down around me at any moment unless I stayed aware of my predicament and my surroundings.

One of the things I am nervous about is talking to boys. I don’t plan to be talking to boys but what if they try to talk to me? I don’t know how I feel about that other than apprehensive.

We went into Wal-Mart and headed for the women’s department. Nothing happened, we just started shopping. I was not expecting that anything would happen, but I was a little on edge. What if something did happen and they found??? I had to stop myself and just get on with it. The underwear department just had to come first.

Fiona insisted that I needed 34B molded cup underwire bras. She said to trust her and all would be revealed later. I couldn’t understand this because with my little chicken fillets I thought I could only just fill a 34A, but she made me buy 6 bras of various colors.

I could tell from that moment that my personal bank account wouldn’t last the day. 10 pairs of panties followed. Most matched the bras in some way. We got a waist nipper to help create a little waist/hip contrast and we also bought 4 pairs of light control panties, six pairs of tan tights and two pairs of black leggings.

Then we bought slips and camisoles before we went over to the dresses. I asked why we were not trying the underwear on and she said, “Just trust me. You are exactly the same size as me except for the difference at the waist that we will address with the shape wear. Later in the week I will bring you some of my stuff to wear but with undergarments you need your own supply.”

The dresses were a much nicer experience. I tried a few dresses of various types. I particularly likes the tear dresses which had flowing skirts which made the nerves in my thighs tingle, but in the interests of time I let Fiona pick out 3 floral print dresses cut about 4” above the knee that I could wear without tights while the weather was warm then with tights or leggings and a jacket as the weather gets colder and 2 other woolen business type dresses with higher necks and longer skirts.

We then got 2 skirts, 2 blouses and 2 spaghetti strap tank tops before moving to the denim section where I got a short denim jacket and then tried on some girl’s jeans.

The girl’s jeans seemed really odd to me. They seemed to be really low cut and would expose by stomach dangerously close to my pubic area. Fiona assured me they were much higher than they seemed and they looked OK. Better than expected she said which I thought was cool. I was allowed one pair for now as Fiona did not want me to rely on jeans too much.

So we headed for the tills with me pushing an overloaded shopping cart and Fiona carrying the longer clothing on hangers.

We escaped from Wal-Mart with about a quarter of my personal savings gone in one store. I knew I couldn’t go on like this so Fiona and I discussed ways that I could by things without using my personal funds. Shoes would be OK to put on the card Dad gave me but La Senza would not. All of my new girl’s stuff was carefully laid out in the trunk of my Honda and locked out of site.

Next we drove across the parking lot to DSW. I did not know what DSW was but Fiona assured me it was her favorite store in the whole world and I needed to make it mine too. DSW stands for Designer Shoe World where brand name shoes of all types are sold for reasonable prices and if you go there often enough you can find some exceptional deals.

I had a blast trying on all kinds of exotic shoes, some of them with ridiculously high heels. I felt like a kid in candy store and quickly understood why Fiona said to was her favorite store. There were sales assistants around if you needed them but you could generally just help yourself as all of the different styles and sizes were available for you to get your hands on.

After a couple of minutes of fantasy parading up and down in front of the mirror I realized that I might have a couple of admirers from over in the men’s section which made me instantly self conscious so the parading stopped.

Fiona selected 2 pairs of 3” cork heeled gladiator sandals, one in red and one in beige, to get me started. We then picked out a pair of low heeled light brown leather gladiator sandals and then Fiona persuaded me that those 3 pair, with my ballerina flats, would keep me going through my first couple of weeks at school. The shoes went on my college expenses card. The time was now after 11:30 and we had a couple of more stops to go so we headed off to Cherry Hill Mall.

The first shop we went into was CVS for cosmetics and toiletries. I paid for the things that were gender specific from my savings (make-up etc.) and the other stuff went on the College expenses card. Fortunately this stuff was not difficult to carry across the mall.

The next store we went into was called ‘Angels Only.’ I had no idea what it was until we were inside. The pictures of beautiful women in underwear in the windows should have been a giveaway.

“This,” said Fiona, “is a specialist woman’s underwear store have an additional reputation of selling everything for a woman to make the most of her breasts, including breast cancer survivors or people who were flat chested like you.” We entered the store to find a pleasant looking lady waiting to help us.

She was obviously a few years older than us but I doubt she was old enough to be my mother, although I know my mother could pass for 30 any day. She had long dark flowing hair, impeccable but ever so slightly heavy make-up and possibly a few pounds overweight, but she made up for that by having fabulous cleavage exposed in the low cut area of the black one piece she was wearing. Her name tag said Sarah.

Fiona explained to the assistant. “My little sister here is a late developer and would like to go from her present 1/2A cup to a B cup.”

“We can do that!” said the Sarah. From the counter below her she produced two different styles of breast forms. One had a cloth type finish and the other was a more realistic silicone finish. After that there was another choice where I could just place the breast forms in any bra and they would just sit on top of my regular skin. The second was to use them with a special bra that would create more of cleavage where there was none before.

“Behind the curtain young lady,” the assistant ushered me holding the bra and breast forms in her hand. “Take of your dress to the waist and remove your present bra.”

With that I became a little hesitant. “Don’t worry young one. I have helped a thousand ladies of all shapes and sizes into this fitting room to help them with the correct shape wear for their needs, and whatever I see here in this room is between you, me and the good lord.”

I am not very religious but I found her words comforting. She explained to me some of the features to me then helped me into the bra, and then she had a good look at my chest.

“You are not completely flat chested you know. I have seen girls come in here with so little breast tissue that you would think they were a boy. You are not like that, you actually have breast tissue, just small is all. You would be a regular A cup and not the half that your sister mentioned. Are they tender?”

“Of course they are tender,” I said. “I thought everyone’s breast were tender.”
“The whole of the breast, not just the nipples?”
“The whole breast,” I said.

“Well I can tell you that boy’s nipples are the only part that’s tender, because that is the only ‘breast’ material they have. I can see you have women’s nipples because I would be able to tell boy’s nipples. Of course I wouldn’t say anything if you were a boy.”

I was surprised. I have breasts. Who would have known?

“This bra has silicone on the underwire sections and under the arms,” she explained. “Therefore when you pull what breast you have forwards, it helps to create a little breast from nothing.” She was helping me create what she was talking about while she was talking. When she was finished the shape I had was not at all bad and looked definitely feminine. Next she helped me position the breast forms.

“When you add the silicone form into the bra,” Sarah continued, “the adhesion of the silicone to your skin and the way the bra pulls you into shape creates cleavage above the bra. This will give you a one size boost. I will also give you some adhesive tape to use under the breast forms so that they stay in position when you are wearing something low cut. This will also help you create and maintain cleavage that you didn’t already have. You can experiment with this when you are on your own.”

She was right. Right before me in the mirror I saw an attractive lady with a nice pair of well-shaped B size breasts.
“That is truly wonderful,” I said. “The look so natural I don’t know how anyone could tell.” I didn’t tell her that my lower body parts were expanding. At that very moment Fiona came into the dressing room with something pale pink in her hands.

“Can we try this on my sister,” she asked.
“Excellent choice,” said Sarah who immediately helped me lower what was remaining of my dress down so it only just covered my crotch then she wrapped my in this pale pink corset and proceeded to lace me in from the back. The corset was made from a comfortable satin material with heavy boning and once the laces were pulled I could feel and see the boning changing my shape. Seeing myself in corset and bra that way was beginning to become very arousing, until I realized how tight the thing was getting around my waist. I found my breathing becoming affected.

“I think that should be enough tightening for now,” said Sarah. ‘You should probably leave this on overnight and tighten it a little more every morning. And could take it off overnight but it should be replaced first thing in the morning. In fact for the first couple of days you could leave in on overnight.”

I didn’t like the overnight suggestion about overnight, but I did like the noticeable step above my hip that was never there before. My body had turned into that of a woman before my very eyes.
“Do you think she likes it?” said Sarah.
“I am absolutely sure she does,” said Fiona. “It has left her speechless.”

I pulled up my dress and zipped up the zipper. This time the zipper went up with no binding in the middle section. The girl in front of me looked fantastic. What a shape! I felt like I had a fuller shape than Fiona but resisted the temptation to tell her so. I turned to Sarah and reached for her hand saying, “thank you thank you. Can I give you a hug I feel so grateful?”
She said, “of course you can dear,” as we shared a brief moment touching shoulders. “You would be surprised how many runway models have no more shape than you.”
I also gave Fiona a hug and thanked her too.

“You are welcome little sister. I don’t think there is anyone who could ever mistake you for a boy now.”
“Surely no one has ever mistaken this beautiful girl for a boy even before the corset and bra?” asked Sarah.
“No of course not,” said Fiona, “but for some years she has had that fear.”
“You are a very, very pretty young lady,” said Sarah. “And don’t you ever forget it. Now go out and be confident, but not before we have rung these items in.”

The reality of another quarter of my savings disappearing brought be back into the real world. The time was now 1pm and we needed jewelry and towels. We headed for a jewelry store to get my ears pierced. This had to be done with the minimum of fuss. With a jewelry assistant we chose some zirconium earrings with gold posts. Having little time to fuss about I just let the assistant get on with it. We also bought a set of simple gold studs to use for quieter occasions, like going home to see my parents.

We quickly selected a couple of simple necklaces and bracelets without spending a fortune. Fiona said that these are very personal items and were best bought when you have time to try them on and see how they look on you and how comfortable you feel in them, but time was not one of the items we had much of.

With the time at 1:20pm we headed back to the apartment to unload all of my new things before I headed for my first orientation.

When we got back only MJ was home and she was preparing to leave to visit friends in town. She pointed us to some pizza that Angie had ordered and there were still a couple of pieces left for us. Fiona helped me carry all of my purchases up to my room, and then we sat down, me on my computer chair and Fiona on my new bed.

“You do have everything on the list don’t you?” she asked.
“Alnost Fiona but we didn’t get any towels.”
“You can get them yourself at the mall after your orientations,” she replied.

Then she reached out for my hand and looked a little serious. “Are you sure you are OK with this? Becoming a woman overnight is a huge change. I know it’s you under there and I remember us pretending you were our little sister years ago but you have grown up to be my brother, and now this. Are you ready for this? Its not too late to back out you know?”

“I feel like I have made the decision,” I said, “and I don’t have time to go back, and besides I love looking like this. I am beginning to feel that I wasted my last few years being a boy when I could have felt like this, pretty and attractive. I have no plan for what to do about Mom and Dad or our sisters, but I have a plan for my first day at college and this is it. I am already in it.”

“That sounds a little strange to hear because we all thought you made a really nice boy and we love you very much,” said Fiona.

“I understand that and I am grateful for all the love you always give me, but I was a boy who wasn’t really turning into a man was I? All of the other boys I know got big and hairy and started dating girls, but that never happened to me. I never believed that I fit in properly, but I feel I may have found my place now.”

“But looking like that you are going to attract boys, and we were pretty sure you were not going to turn out gay. That is why Dawn went to all that trouble.”
“I know,” I said. “I can get aroused now just thinking of what she did, but I am not here to date boys. I am here to get a degree.”

“I wish I could continue this but you have to go to your orientation and I have got to get to my college,” she said checking the time on her cell phone.

So we stood up and hugged then she gave me a kiss on the lips. Then with a surprised look she turned to me and apologized. I was somewhat surprised myself.

“I am sorry for that,” said Fiona. “I usually kiss Dawn, Barbara and Mom on the lips but now you are wearing a dress it felt like the right thing to do, until I did it.”
“It was nice,” I replied. “I am not quite sure if there is anything wrong with it. I hope you do it again, but not this second as I am a little shocked.”

We didn’t have time to discuss anything further. The time was 1:50pm and I had at least a 5 minute walk to get to the college, and no time to eat my pizza. I picked up my back pack with my instructions and headed down the stairs. College awaits.

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 4.

Who’s that girl? Monday afternoon September 9th.

I walked down the stairs and headed briskly towards the college. I had not had time to eat any pizza but then I thought maybe the fact that my stomach is so constricted be this corset will stop me from being hungry, but I instantly realized that I was hungry so my theory was wrong.

My optimism made me theorize that an orientation could include food, but that was probably only wishful thinking. I was probably going to go hungry for the next couple of hours.

I walked as quickly as I could without getting myself overheated as this was a warm late summer day and the sun was strong. I took some relief from the shade available in the tree lined streets and the avenues leading through the open area if front of the campus, and on to the main building entrance.

There were people gathering in small groups in front of the main building and some people sitting at desks with posters and advertisements for college activities but I did not have time to look at them. I walked up the large stone steps and into the main building and down the long hallway to the Grover Cleveland Hall.

The door was open and I could hear someone talking.
The hall was large with maybe 2 or 3 hundred seats but it was less than  ¼ full. I headed up the side of the hall about 6 rows from the front and saw two women sitting together so I made my way to them and sat down.

When I looked up I realized that most of the people in the hall were looking at me including the lady at the front.

“Young lady please stand up and tell us you name,” the lady projected clearly from the plenum.

“Leslie Haigt Miss.” I replied clearly and loud enough for everyone to hear me.

“And why are you here today Ms Haigt?”

“To become oriented Miss,” I replied, which raised a few chuckles around the room, but I don’t know why.

“And tell me Ms Haigt, what have you learned so far?”

“I have learned that the distance between my apartment and this hall cannot easily be walked in less than 10 minutes Miss.”

“I am glad that you have already started learning. And Ms Haigt can you tell me what you expect to learn in this presentation?”

“To learn some of the things I need to know to smooth my path through the academic year.”

“Good answer Ms Haigt. One of the things you will need to know is that I will attempt to embarrass anyone who comes into my lectures late. What will you be majoring in Ms Haigt.”

“Mathematics Miss,” I answered.

“Then your lesson is timely Ms Haigt as I will be one of your Professors. Please sit down Ms Haigt.”

At last she turned her attention away from me and resumed talking to the rest of the assembled students.

She was a short slim lady maybe in her 50s with no chest to speak of, wearing an ash gray pants suit with a white blouse. Quite smart I thought. Her hair was short and medium brown. I guessed she could have been attractive when she was younger, but now looks a little weather beaten.

“I am Professor Lisa McClelland. You may call me Professor McClelland or Ms McClelland and I will answer to Miss without offence. I have occasionally been called other names but I had better not hear them from any of you.”

As she talked she began walking from one side of the hall to the other, explaining the thing that we as freshmen needed to know. Respect in all things. No hazing of any kind. Be your own best advocate. You are here to learn not party. Make friends here and they will last you a lifetime. Join college student organizations and never waste a moment of you time here it’s too precious.

It was a pretty good 20 minute speech but my hunger and tiredness from this morning’s shopping were distracting me.

After the speech we all filed past the row of tables at the front to collect official college handouts for everything from where to get academic supplies and books off campus, the best and cheapest restaurants and the tire stores that give discounts to Winston students.

She encouraged us all to go to our first meet and greets at the rooms designated for each subject. There were charts in a couple of places around the hall showing the student names and the room numbers and location. My assigned location was the main library reading room table 5.

As I was approaching the allotted table a young man approached me. He was just a few inches taller than me. Medium length brown hair loose over his ears, thin beard and broad across the shoulders. He was wearing nice new looking jeans and a short sleeve dress shirt.

When as his gaze met mine he started speaking. “You certainly made an impression on your first day.”

“Excuse me,” I replied.

“Clear, calm and confident. You certainly did not allow the lecturer intimidate you.” He was now holding out his hand obviously to shake mine, so I gently but firmly shook his hand.

“Why should I be intimidated,” I asked. “I was 3 minutes late to an orientation presentation.”

“I agree with you,” he said, “But I can tell there were many people in the room terrified of being asked anything on their first day. And may I also say that you were also the prettiest women in the room?”

“You did say it and I do not object to flattery provided you accept that I am attending college to obtain a degree in mathematics and not to pick up boyfriends.”

“I think that is fair enough, but I couldn’t resist the temptation to be the first to try.”

“In that case,” I said, “consider yourself the first to be rejected.”

“I will therefore congratulate myself on my accomplishment. My name is Lawrence Dark.” He said offering me a seat in the middle of the table. “I am also taking Math.”

I accepted the seat and placed by back pack on the back of the chair. He sat beside me and continued to talk to me. “I am from Wilmington Delaware. Where are you from?” he asked.

“Reading Pennsylvania,” I replied.

“That’s where they have the Japanese Pagoda on the hillside overlooking the city.”

“Kind of,” I said. “You must have been there.”

Other people were now joining us at the table. A tall slim smiling young man with a Fender ball cap and curly brown hair sticking out from under it sat next to me and introduced himself. He placed his back pack on the table in front of him. It had electric guitars painted on it.

“Hi,” he said. “You are Leslie Haigt. I am Vic Headingly from Worcester Massachusetts.”

“Please to meet you. Do you play?” I asked.

“Sure do,” he replied. “Just got myself a 1979 Gibson ES335.”

“Cool, just like Lucille, that must have cost you a pretty penny,” I said.

“Sure did,” he replied with gusto. “My folks paid for most of it for a high school graduation present. It took me most of the summer to find one I wanted. Don’t tell me you play guitar too?”

“Yes I do but what do you mean play guitar too?” I asked.

“Well you play guitar and your know what kind of guitar BB King plays, you’re in my math class and you’re really pretty. You must be my dream girl.”

“Not you too,” I said. “I just got hit on by the guy the other side over here. Am I going to have to sit on the other side of the table with the girls?”

“I was just trying to be friendly,” said Lawrence.

“Please don’t sit over the other side. We will behave, we promise don’t we Lawrence?” then he placed his hand over mine.

“Ah,Ah, ” I said as I pulled my hand away. “Don’t touch the merchandise. You have to but me dinner first!” as I realized that was exactly the wrong thing to say.

“Does that mean we are on for dinner?” said Vic.

“No it does not.” I said firmly. “I am sorry that was a bad joke. Can we all just start again? Hi everyone. My name is Leslie Haigt and I am here to do Mathematics!” as I stood up and offered my hand to the guy on the other side of the table who looked kind of Mediterranean looking with straight black hair and a tan.

“Hello my name is Jesus Gotano. (pronounced hey zeus) I live with my family in Highland Park NJ and we moved here from Columbia. My Dad is Project Manager for an oil company. I think this is an all mathematics table.”

The African American lady next to him had had also stood up and was offering me her hand. “Hi I am Connie Smith. I come from Dover Delaware. My parents are in the Air Force.”

Everyone stood up and was introducing themselves to the others in the group. The group consisted of Me, Vic, Lawrence, Jesus, Connie, Caroline Gordon tall dark haired slightly overweight but very pretty girl from Long Island NY. James Rumple from Pittsburg, tall slim redhead with a scruffy red beard, and David Trinder from Rochester NY, stocky medium build guy developing male pattern baldness.

“I have the envelope for this table,” said James and he handed out sheets for everyone to read and complete.

It was an ice breaker with instructions. It explained that this group had selected randomly from the first year math students just to get things going.

Study groups could be organized separately or we could stick with this group. The questionnaire should be completed then we could all discuss our answers. The questions were set just to get conversation going any try to find out if we have anything in common with the rest of the group. The questions included.

What is your favorite sport and who is your favorite team?

How do you like to exercise?

What type of music do you like?

What is your favorite band or musical artist?

Do you play a musical instrument?

What is your favorite tooth paste?

What is your favorite store and what do you like to buy?

What is your favorite food?

What kind of books do you read and who is your favorite author?

What do you do on Saturday nights when you are not in college?

There were no names on the pages and when we were complete we mixed up the pages face down in the middle of the table and then each person got a sheet to read out, then we guess whose page it is.

The first person to read was the person who handed out the sheets so James the tall guy from Pittsburg stared reading from page the out loud

“Basketball and Miami heat,”

“That could be anyone because no one on this table comes from Florida,” said Lawrence.

James continued. “Exercise bike, pop music, Adele.”

“Obviously a girl,” said Vic, “because guys don’t like Adele.”

For just a fraction of a second I wanted to correct him on that, but thought better of it when I remembered that I was wearing a dress.

“Violin but only at middle school,”

“That puts Leslie out because she plays guitar,” concluded David, Vic and Lawrence at the same time.

“Colgate fresh mint.” No takers on that one, we all use mint toothpaste.

“Zara women’s clothes.”

“That’s a nice store,” I said. “But they have boy’s clothes too!”

“It has to be Connie or Caroline so don’t you two say anything then we can guess at the end,” said James, then he continued till the end of the list.

“Seafood marinara, Maeve Binchey and 40 shades of grey.”

“Could be either of you,” I said looking at Caroline and Connie.

“And the last answer is movies.”

“I don’t know why but I think its Caroline,” said Jesus. She nodded and said yes.

“So you get to read the next one,” said James to Caroline.

“OK,” said Caroline. “Here we go. Basketball and Football, 76’s and Eagles”

“That’s local and sounds like a guy,” said David.

Caroline continued. “Electronica and Indie, Moby.”

In an instant Vic started clapping his hands over his head and singing.

“Am gonna find my baby, woahh, for the sun goes down.”

I joined in singing the next line and clicking my fingers and Lawrence started banging out the beat in the table.

“Am gonna find my baby, woahh, for the sun goes down.”

James started to complain, “I think we’re gonna get thrown.” But he couldn’t continue because students on at least 3 other table started joining in.

“Am gonna find my baby, woahh, for the sun goes down.”

Lots of people around us were joined in singing now and Lawrence was banging away like a drum solo on the table.

“Am gonna find my baby, woahh, for the sun goes down.”

Then it petered out quickly as 3 lecturers came into the hall and started shushing us.

“That was cool,” I said as a couple of us continued to laugh after the singing stopped. Caroline started back into the list.

“Vinyl turntables, a sampling machine, Kentucky Bourbon.”

“Kentucky Bourbon is not toothpaste,” said Connie.

“You speak for yourself,” said Lawrence. “It has worked fine for me on occasions.”

“So Lawrence, are you a rap artist?” asked Vic.

“No I just try to make new music out of samples and do a little sound recording,” said Lawrence.

“So you could record Vic and me playing Lawrence?” I asked.

“So are we a duo now?” asked Vic. “Maybe we should discuss this over dinner.”

“No we will not.” I stated. “I was only asking if he could.”

“I could,” said Lawrence, “but all my stuff is at home.”

“Ball Park Hot Dogs,” stated Caroline.

“Hot dogs?” asked Vic. “All those great answers and you have to finish hot dogs?”

“Hot dogs taste great when you are watching a good game,” said Lawrence talking across me to Vic. “Just not so good when you are losing.”

“The last answer is Raves and Hip Hop Dance clubs,” said Caroline.

“You can fry your brain on the stuff they get at Raves,” said James.

“I don’t use any of the bad stiff,” said Lawrence. “Red Bull and Bourbon seems to work good for me.”

“My favorite aperitif,” said Vic.

I guess Lawrence and Vic were building a friendship already.

We continued reading each other’s sheet but nothing interesting happened. I did learn a couple of interesting things about some of my classmates.

Connie seemed to have a pleasant outgoing personality and she was quite attractive too. She didn’t play any instruments but she said she did sing a little soul and gospel and was interested in opera music and had some opera lessons. Connie liked going to the occasional Redskins game.

David seemed pleasant and exceedingly average at everything apart from smoking cigarettes which he seemed to do a few times during our afternoon together, bringing back his foul smelling aroma back with him from the smoke area.

Jesus is a nice happy guy who likes to go dancing and keep in touch with his Latin roots through salsa. He said he has a couple of girlfriends who he dances with and invited any of us girls to go dancing with him, no strings attached just dancing he said. He made it sound interesting enough that it could be tempting.

James seems like a self-righteous ass who didn’t seem to care what people think of him and spent too much time on his own. I think he must be a health freak because he explained his special diet that he maintained because he is a serious medium and long distance runner. I don’t think we will be spending much time together.

Vic’s page was a little more interesting as read by Jesus.

“Football and Hockey. Patriots and Bruins,” said Jesus.

“Well there are a few of us who like football, maybe we could go see an Eagles game together?” I suggested.

“Sure,” said Vic.

“Playing scales on my guitar,” said Jesus.

“That is not exercise,” said James.

“It’s all you get from me,” said Vic.

“We are supposed to guess who the person is by the answers,” said Connie.

“Well there are only two people left and we all know Leslie is not from Boston,” said Vic.

Jesus carried on. “Guitars and toothpaste is toothpaste.”

“You must have a favorite?” said Caroline.

“I hate them all,” said Vic. “I only use them to make sure my breath don’t stink. I use Crest because it’s usually the cheapest.”

“Not a big fan of oral hygiene then Vic,” I asked.

“Oh I am a big fan of oral hygiene,” said Vic. “I just don’t like the taste of toothpaste.”

“Guitar Center and Guitars,” said Jesus.

“Well we could all tell that was coming,” said Lawrence.

“There is one about 5 minutes from here in Cherry Hill,” I said.

“Will you show me where it is,” asked Vic.

“On a map, sure,” I replied. He looked forlornly at me waiting for me to change my mind but I was not going to offer. He is good looking I thought, but that kind of idea could get me into serious trouble.

“Meat lover’s pizza,” continued Jesus.

“That kind of food will make you put weight on,” said Caroline.

“Ah, but I am lucky. I have the eat all you want and don’t put on weight gene.”

“I hate you,” said Caroline but only joking.

“Classics — John Steinbeck.”

“Now there was a man who could tell a story,” said Connie. “So what do you do on Saturday nights?”

“This Saturday I haven’t made any plans. Where would you like me to take you,” he asked back to Connie.

“What does it say on the page Vic. What do you do on Saturday nights?”

“I play guitar with my band in some noisy bar.”

“How are you going to do that Vic if your band is in Massachusetts?” asked Lawrence.

“University comes first,” said Vic. “I might get up there to play a couple of times before Christmas, anyway I might find some pretty girl to play music with me while I’m here.” Then he looked at me and winked.

“Don’t look at me like that,” I said. “I already have my sister as my singing partner. You wouldn’t like our music because it’s too quiet for you.”

“You have a sister that you sing with?” asked Lawrence. “Is she as pretty as you?”

“She is even prettier than me and she is studying music at the Philly school of arts.”

“If you are so keen on music, why didn’t you go study with her?” asked Vic.

That was a hell of an idea I realized. Why didn’t I think of that?

“Because she took music at high school and took all of the prerequisites. I didn’t, but if I had I could have avoided you two jerks.” They laughed because they knew I didn’t mean it.

We had kind of forgotten the exercise but Connie brought us back on track.
Leslie there is one more page and we guess you are going to have to read your own.

“OK, here we go!”

I turned the page and tried to remember why I had chosen such stupid answers.

“Football, the Eagles, Bicycle riding in the country.”

“Pop, Rock, Indie, Blues, Jenny Lewis, Elvis Costello and Sheryl Crow.”

“Cool choices,” said Vic.

“Acoustic guitar, Colgate Total.”

“Wal-Mart George cheap clothes — DSW for shoes.”

“Wal-Mart!” Exclaimed Caroline. “You don’t look like you shop at Wal-Mart.”

I said, “It’s not what you wear but how you wear it. And anyway I can’t afford expensive clothes on my college budget.”

“Manhattan Clam Chowder.”

“What’s wrong with New England clam chowder?” said Vic.

“I don’t like the cream and the potato.” I continued without stopping as I wanted to get this over with.

“Music related books — No favorites but I just read Waging Heavy Peace by Neil Young and I play music at home with my family.”

“What you sit around the TV on Saturday and sing to your guitar?” asked Lawrence.

“No, our house has a studio/music room. Mom plays the piano, Dad plays the double bass, Barbara plays violin, Dawn plays drums, Fiona and me play guitar and we all sing.”

“Just acoustically,” asked Vic.

“Oh No,” I replied. “We have a sound system with mics set up and a proper mixing board and everything.”

“So we are done!” said James.

“Why,” said Vic.

“Because its 5pm and they are serving pizza in the cafeteria.”

“Perfect. I am starving,” I said.

“Everyone got up and headed towards the door in a disorganized bunch, but Connie and Caroline made their way to be one each side of me as we left the library. Vic and Lawrence were trying to get between us but I managed to avoid them.

“Those two Vic and Lawrence really like you,” said Caroline.

“Maybe but they are not going to get anywhere.”

“Why not,” said Connie. “They both seem really cute.”

“Cute is dangerous. Oh I might hang out with them but I am not looking for a boyfriend right now. I intend to take University seriously.”

“You have 3 sisters,” said Connie. “I would love to have had sisters but I am an only child, and because we moved around so much with the Air Force I never really had any close friends.”

“Oh come on,” I said. “You seem like a really pretty and likeable person. You should never struggle for friends.”

“You don’t know what it’s like living on a base.”

“Do you have any siblings?” I asked. Caroline.

“I have an older brother but he is married. He is nice to me but I don’t see him often. It’s just me and my Dad at home.”

“Well you two can both be my honorary sisters while we are here,” I said.

“My stomach is rumbling, where is the pizza?”

“Powder room first,” said Connie as they ushered me into the nearest ladies.

I became aware as we went in that I was still a boy and I had never been into a girl’s bath room. I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I knew that there would no standing places so I would be using a stall.

I arranged myself behind Connie and Caroline as we went in and found ourselves at the back of a short line. I became very aware of my condition all of a sudden and had conflicting emotions.

I felt confident in my female appearance but my concern was I am now in a girl’s only environment. What do they do different? What do girl’s talk about in bathrooms because boys don’t usually talk much?

There were 3 girl’s talking while quietly maneuvering for mirror space above the wash basins, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

Connie turned around and said, “You know that Lawrence has a really nice ass, if you don’t mine me saying?”

“Why should I mind you saying?” I asked her.

“Well right now I would say that Lawrence and Vic are yours to do whatever you want with. I couldn’t get between you and them if I wanted,” said Connie.

“But I told them both,” I said quietly. “I am not interested and am only here to learn math.”

“You played that very well too,” said Connie,” but we both know you were still flirting. I bet they will be waiting for us when we get into the cafeteria and will want to sit by you.”

“I wasn’t flirting intentionally,” I said.
“But the way you spoke to them and looked directly into their eyes will make them think you were,” said Connie.

“I bet they both felt dizzy after you looked into their eyes. Your eyes are beautifully done. I was hoping you might help me with mine,” said Caroline.

When I looked I saw she was hardly wearing a any make-up.

“My sister did my eyes for me this morning,” I said. “I don’t usually wear much make-up.”

“Your eyes should be your trademark,” said Connie. “Everyone will remember your eyes and be disappointed if you don’t look just like that next time they see you.”

I was obviously going to have Angie and Carla give me a lesson in make-up tonight.

Stalls became available so I went in. I pulled up my dress and pulled down my control panties then the tiny lace panties I had under them. It was good to be ‘free’ for a moment but my predicament was giving me a small erection, which I was sure no one could see because of the tiny cracks around the doors and my dress falling back down.

I sat down and pushed my hand between my legs to control the direction of the flow. I had to let go in small bursts to make sure I didn’t wet myself or make too much noise. I felt like the other girls could be listening.

I cleaned myself up and pulled up my panties and went to adjust myself down and under, which was not easy because it felt truly wonderful to be wearing a dress and panties, but it had to go down. I managed to straighten myself out and was out in a flash over at the basin washing my hands, when I heard someone behind me.

“Whose is this bag?”

I looked around and there was a tall black girl holding my handbag. I went over to take it from her with wet hands.

“You could have lost that bag in an instant,” she said. “Never leave your bag over the paper holder girl,” she said.

I turned red with embarrassment.

“Sorry,” I said, “And thank you.”

I put the bag over my shoulder and returned to washing my hands.

“I can’t believe you left your bag in the stall,” said Caroline who was standing next to me.

“I must have my mind on other things,” I said.

“Like Lawrence’s ass,” said Connie.

“No at all,” I said.

“I wouldn’t blame you,” said Connie. “I can imagine holding it between my knees right now,” as she started putting some more lipstick on.

I couldn’t think of how to answer that, so I grabbed some lipstick out of my bag and started to retouch my lips, then my bag swung off my shoulder and I smudged my lipstick out the corner of my mouth. I reached for some tissue and tried to wipe it off but only succeeded in making it worse. Connie was watching me while I did this.

“Shit Leslie,” she said. “You look like you have never done this before.”

“No much,” I said. “I never started wearing much make-up till recently.” I was now feeling rather stupid and helpless and fortunate that I had an understanding friend to help me.

She reached into my bag.

“You haven’t got much in here,” she said, then she reached into her own bag and pulled out a q tip.

Then she took some foundation out of my bag, put some on then end of the q tip and started working on the smudge.

“The foundation acts like a solvent to blend the lipstick so you can’t see it. Now you finish the job,” She gave me the q tip and passed me back my own lipstick and said, “Put your bag between your knees, it can’t do any damage there.”

I thanked her, put my bag where I had been told, finished blending the smudge until I couldn’t see it then put some more lipstick on, this time more carefully.

Then I looked at myself. A pretty girl surrounded by other pretty girls in the girl’s room. If I had the time to think about this I would definitely find this arousing, but I didn’t have time.

As we got out into the hallway I pulled them both aside to explain to them something that I was making up as I went along. I hoped they couldn’t tell.

“Connie, Caroline please help me. You may think I am confident and assured but to tell you the truth I don’t know much about being an attractive girl.”

“I have been a tomboy most of my teens and my parents just used to let me get on with it, then I got really upset recently when someone I thought really liked me, told me he thought I was a boy.”

“That upset me a lot so I decided it was about time I really became the girl that I should have been all along. Until a couple of weeks ago I only ever wore baggy jeans and never even had a handbag.”

“Really, someone thought you were a boy?” said Caroline.

“It’s true,” I said. “Happened more than once too.”

“I guess that explains a few things,” said Connie.

“Honestly I am just winging this,” I told them. “Seriously, before today I haven’t worn a dress for more than half an hour for years.” That line was actually true.

“But you have a beautiful shape, how could anyone think you were a boy?” asked Caroline.

“You should have seen the stupid clothes I used to wear. Cargo pocket pants and baggy tee shirts. Never wore make-up and only ever wore sports bras.”

“But why Leslie?” asked Caroline.

“Growing up with 3 beautiful sisters has its drawbacks. I always felt like the runt of the litter.”

“They can’t all be more beautiful than you?”

“Oh you should see my sister Dawn, She looks like Sophia Vergara” I said and grabbed my phone to show them a picture.”

Connie took the phone off me and started looking through the pics .

“I see what you mean,” she said, and then she found one of me in boy’s clothes.

“Shit is that you. You do look like a boy.” She showed Caroline. “How on earth do you hide that body under those clothes?”

“That is amazing,” said Caroline. “I can see the same person underneath but I see a girl in front of me and a boy in this picture.”

“So if I seem a little new to all this girl’s stuff you can understand why.”
“Don’t worry,” said Connie. “Caroline and I will help when we can.”

We carried on down the hall and went into the cafeteria. There were boxes of Pizza, wings, salads and a variety of canned drinks. I went straight for the pizza and I grabbed a couple of pieces then snagged a few wings and a can of coke. Caroline and Connie took some food for themselves and we headed for an empty table.

As we got there Lawrence and Vic made a bee line for us. As they reached us I held my hand up.

“Stop right there,” I said. “Ladies only table. No room for you guys, we are full up. Not enough seats. Find your own table.” There were a few buts and groans and comments like ’but it’s a free world’ but I wasn’t having any and they left.

I was glad I chased them away because as they left Rebecca came walking confidently towards us in a beautiful red summer dress with matching clutch bag and pumps looking quite stunning. The dress was cut quite low and she was displaying some remarkable cleavage.

“Can I join you?” She asked. “Eating healthy again I see Leslie?” she said looking at my pizza and wings.

“Please do,” I said after clearing some pizza from my mouth. “I am making up for a missed lunch. Caroline and Connie please meet Rebecca. We met today at the Coffee Hutch on Swedes Road where my apartment is.” They shook hands.

“I am a returning student doing my MBA this year,” said Rebecca. “Are you two doing math with Leslie?” They both nodded their heads as they were eating.

Rebecca added, “I work part time at the Coffee Hutch and live in the apartment above it, so you know where to find me.”

I cleared another wing from my plate and asked Rebecca, “How come you are here Rebecca? I didn’t think you needed an orientation.”

“I am here to browse the student activities. They usually do a play and this year it seems they are going to do a musical version of Romeo and Juliet.”

“Do you act?” asked Connie.

“Heavens no,” she said, “but I like to help with production.|

“But you are certainly pretty enough to be on stage Rebecca,” I said.

“Thank you Leslie but I though your friends had told you not to do that,”

Rebecca said giving me a knowing look. Connie gave me a confused look too.

“It turns out I am too stiff on stage. I am far too nervous. You on the other hand would be perfect on stage.”

“I don’t know what makes you think that. You have never seen me act or sing.”

“But you are confident and forward Leslie. There doesn’t seem to be an ounce of shyness in you.”

“Maybe that’s because I haven’t a clue what I am doing.” I replied.
“You may not,” replied Rebecca. “But you are totally natural and unreserved.”

“Everyone was impressed when she came late into the orientation and totally flummoxed the Professor,” said Connie.

“What did she say?” Rebecca asked.

“The professor asked if she had learned anything yet and Leslie said, ‘the walk from my apartment to this room cannot be comfortably walked in ten minutes’,”

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked.

“But Leslie, didn’t you understand what she was doing,” asked Connie.
“What?”

“She was trying to embarrass you but she couldn’t.”

“Was this old flat top,” asked Rebecca.

“Who is old flat top?”

“Professor McClelland.”
“So that is what she was talking about when she said ‘other names’ I guess,” said Connie. “It suits her.”

“That’s mean,” said Caroline, “but it’s funny.”

“See what I mean,” said Rebecca. “Nothing seems to faze you. So why don’t you come over to the Dramatic Society table and talk to them?”

“OK,” I said. “I don’t have anything to lose.” I finished my pizza and attempted to clean up my sticky fingers.

We went over to the Dramatic Society table at the far end of the cafeteria and me this year’s director. His name is Anders. He was a tall slim blonde guy with a scruffy beard pale freckled skin. Rebecca introduced me.

“Nice to meet you Leslie. We can never promise people parts but we give everyone a try out. Do you have any musical abilities because this year we are doing a musical version of Romeo and Juliet?”

“Yes, Rebecca told me. Actually I sing and play guitar.”

“How interesting,” he remarked. “We haven’t done a musical in a few years so we have no idea who will do the singing parts, so we would welcome you to try out for as many different parts as you like. Have you performed on stage at any time?”

“I have done a couple of recitals at my sister’s school.”

“And where was that dear?” he asked.

“At Lenfest Hall.”

“You have performed at Lenfest hall?”

“Yes and what is wrong with that?”

“Oh there is nothing wrong with performing at Lenfest Hall, it’s just that for them to allow you to play at Lenfest hall you have to be pretty dam good.”

“It was only an alumni recital,” I said.

“But even for alumni recitals they get a thousand people. What did you play?”

“We played ‘In Dulci Jubilo’ on two guitars with my sister. A bit similar to the Mike Oldfield version.”

“And when was this?”

“About 4 months ago.”

“Now let me ask you a stupid question. What subject are you taking?”

“Math,” I said.

“Why are you taking math?’

“Now you are the second person to ask me that today. You’re putting doubts in my head.”

“Look Leslie we will be really glad to have you with us but I have no idea why someone who could play ‘In Dulci Jubilo’ on two guitars at Lenfest Hall would not want to go to Curtis and study music full time.” Then he turned from us to talk to someone else.

I wrote my name down on his list but I was a little upset at why someone would want to talk to me like that. I wanted to do math, at least I thought I wanted to do math.

“Oh don’t mind him,” said Rebecca. “He is an engineer. I think maybe he regrets not going into the theater.”

Then she put a friendly arm around me. Her right breast was resting on my shoulder and I was given an amazing glimpse of her cleavage from about 6 inches.

It was hard to look away but I realized that I didn’t want to upset her because this lady obviously wanted to be my friend, and I really wanted to be her friend. Who wouldn’t?

“So what are you doing later?” she asked.

“I thought all of the students would be going to the orientation dance at in the Eisenhower Hall.”

“Well you can of course if you want to but I don’t think you will get much from it. Before 9pm nothing much happens then later when the music starts its all dance music for the kids. You don’t strike me as that kind of person, and there is no alcohol.”

“Well I am only 19 and shouldn’t be drinking anyway.”

“Well I am 23,” said Rebecca, “and when I need a glass of wine I am going to have one. I am helping out at the Coffee Hutch from 7 till 9 and then I am going to stay around and listen to a couple of people who said they would play a couple of songs for us, so we could see how good they are. Why don’t you bring your guitar down, we are only just down the road.”

“I will think about it,” I said. I had already made my mind up that I wouldn’t miss it for the world, but I didn’t want to tell her that.

“I will see what the other girl’s at my apartment are doing. I do have some other stuff to catch up on.”

I was hoping the girl’s can give me some make-up advice.

“Think of me,” she said. “Waiting on my own for someone to come cheer me up.”

“Don’t you dare try to make me feel sorry for you,” I said as looked into her eyes and gave her a knowing look.

“You are the one person I have met since I got here I am sure will never be left on her own.” The top of her thigh was resting against my hip and her presence continued to electrify me.

“But I am not always surrounded by the right kind of person,” she said.

“So what makes you think I am the right kind of person?”

“Well if you come to see me tonight we might find out?”

‘Jesus’ I thought to myself. How the hell do I think I could possibly handle a woman like her? She was giving me so many signals I thought they must be unmistakable.

She took her arm from around me and placed both hands on the table looking at Anders. He looked over at her and looked her straight in the cleavage before looking at her eyes.

“You are coming over tonight Anders right?”

“Of course I am darling,” he said. “Nineish.”

“For sure,” she said, then she guided me away from that table and down the line of student organization tables.

Ahead of us I could see Lawrence and Vic hovering near the music club table. Their eyes kind of lit up when they saw us. They both had a very good look at Rebecca.

“Leslie, are you going to join the music society?” asked Lawrence as he and Vic waited for my answer.

“What do they do?” I asked.

“Well first,” said Vic, “they get the use of the music room to play and practice two nights a week through the school year. Tuesdays and Sundays.”

“Starting tomorrow?” I asked.

“No starting this Sunday. Some years they do performances for the students but last year there were not enough students interested. This year they have more people interested. Just put your name down and we will keep you informed.”

“Are you two in math with Leslie,” asked Rebecca.

“I am sorry Rebecca,” I said. “This is Lawrence and this is Vic, they will be in my class.” They shook hands. As she was wearing pumps Rebecca was a little taller than Lawrence but not as tall as Vic. They both seemed really pleased to meet her.

“Are you an old friend of Leslie’s?” asked Vic.

“No actually we just met today,” she said, “but I can tell we are going to be good friends.”

The absurdity of these situations continued to confound me. Here am I, a 19 year old runt of a man, in a dress and make-up, listening to this 23 year old goddess of a woman tell these two attractive young men that she and I were going to be good friends. One part of me felt totally at home here and another part felt totally out of place.

“Well we hope to see you around. Are you going to the orientation dance tonight?”

“Now way,” she said shaking her head. “I was just trying to persuade Leslie to come down to the Coffee Hutch where I work, so she can play a couple of songs for me.”

“Sounds great,” said Lawrence. “Me and Vic here would be more than pleased to be wherever you and Leslie are going.”

“You flatter us with you politeness,” said Rebecca as she reached over and touched Lawrence’s arm for an instant. I could see he was temporarily disabled by her as his mouth opened and he couldn’t speak for an instant.

“Where is it and what time?” said Vic. She told them, and then we excused ourselves and looked to find Connie and Caroline.

We found them at the ski club desk talking to some tall good looking young guys about going skiing in the winter.

We explained or plan for the evening with them and invited them to the Coffee Hutch, then we all made our separate ways out Connie and Caroline going east from the main entrance and Rebecca and I going south towards the Coffee Hutch and our road.

Light up my life, so blind I can't see
Light up my life, no one can help me now

Who’s that girl?
Maddona

I’m gonna find my baby, before the sun goes down.
Moby
Sampled from "Joe Lee's Rock" by Boy Blue.

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 5.

Digging a hole. Monday evening September 9th.

Rebecca and I walked back from the college after my orientation meetings. I had been wearing a dress and make-up all day but I had been so busy getting on with the things I had to do that the wearing a dress part had not really played on me. I was becoming accustomed to it, but every once in a while the incredulity of the situation got to me.

Everyone just accepted that I am a girl, I even had boys wanting to date me, but this time yesterday I was a boy.

And then there was Rebecca. She was about the most attractive woman, including my sisters, who I had ever been in the same room with, and I think she wants my body too, and she thinks I am a girl too. How fucked up is that?

“So tell me about this dilemma regarding you going to music school,” Rebecca asked.

“To tell you the truth Rebecca,” I said. “I have always been a math nerd. My sisters have always been the ones who were good at everything so when I found I had a mathematical gift I decided to go with it.”

“My closest sister Fiona is the musically gifted one so when Fiona went to music school I thought she has got the music covered so I would do something else.”

“It never really occurred to me that we could both do the same thing. Anyway, who wants their little sister hanging around with them all the time?”

Some of that was true but other parts were bullshit. I didn’t want to be close to my sister because I didn’t want there to be any chance she would find out I was wearing girl’s clothes while no one was looking. It’s funny how things get turned around when you least expect it?

We reached the Coffee Hutch and standing in the road outside she turned to me and held both of my hands. She was delicious and her touch was electric.

I wanted to kiss her but I couldn’t be sure that being kissed was what she wanted from me. Anyway, I don’t believe two (apparently) girls kissing in the middle of the street would be socially acceptable in this neighborhood.

She looked in my eyes. “You are coming tonight aren’t you?”

“Yes I think I am.”

“Good,” she said.

Then while still looking straight into my eyes she brought my left hand to her lips and kissed the back of my fingers then walked away without looking at me for a reaction. I was rooted to the spot watching her.

While she was walking towards the front door I saw her face in the refection of the restaurant window smiling at me, and then as she went in the door she gave me only the tiniest of glances before she disappeared into the shadows.

What am I missing I thought to myself. When I wear boy’s clothes and talk to girls they seem not the slightest bit interested, but now I am wearing a dress and make-up the most devastatingly attractive girl I have ever seen it giving me all the signals that she wants me.

I think she wants the girl in the dress, but what is under this dress in not actually a girl. How this was going to work out I have no idea, but I can’t turn away from her. How could any young man, or whatever I am, in his right mind turn away from Rebecca?

It took me a few moments to realize that I was still staring at the shadow that she disappeared onto. I was now aware that her fragrance was gone and all I was left with was fresh air, which in turn woke me up. Good job there was no one around. The warmth of the day was dying and I could tell it was going to be a cooler evening than anything we have had recently.

I came to my senses and walked back the apartment. As I was walking through the kitchen I saw Angie in the lounge sitting on the sofa wearing pajamas and eating fruit loops with milk and watching OWN.

“Oh hi Leslie,” she said without much enthusiasm.

“And what’s wrong with this picture,” I asked her.

“Stupid dorks in engineering,” she said. “I didn’t find anyone nice to talk to. I am sure there were nice people but the ones in my group were just not my type.”

“You can change your group you know.” I said.

“Yes I know and I did meet one nice guy that I spent some time with, but then I realized he was hitting on me.”

“So, was he nice? Getting hit on almost sounds like an insult when you say it like that.”

“Yes he was nice, but I am not looking right now.”

“So, tell him ‘thank you but no’ and that you appreciate the complement.”

“Yes, I know, but I was hoping to get a little rest from that stuff. I though doing engineering in college would be different.”

“Whatever made you think that? Men are men regardless of what subject they take. The important thing is are they good to you?”

“Leslie are you an expert on men being good to you?”

“No of course not, but I think I have some small insight into how they think.”

“Leslie, forgive me but getting insights on how men think does not sound right coming from a pretty little thing like you in a dress, and forgive me when I say this, I was just telling you and not asking for advice.”

I could have taken offence to that remark, but chose to ignore it. I was going to ask for her help.

“Angie, remember yesterday you said that you would help me learn to do my own make-up, well today I smudged my lipstick and I didn’t have a clue how to fix it. I don’t even have all the make-up items I need. Will you help me make a list so I can go and get them.”

“No I will not, but I will come with you. I needed something to get me off this sofa, she said as she jumped up and headed to her bedroom and closed the door behind her.

In just a few moments she came back wearing jeans and a black tank top with PINK written across it in big pink letters. She had put her beautiful blonde hair back in a ponytail.

“So show me your stuff and we will make a list.”

We made the list and I added towels and women’s deodorant to it and we headed for Wal-Mart, again. Didn’t take us long to get to Wal-Mart and get the stuff I needed. Angie needed a couple of things too so we had our own shopping carts and went through separate pay points.

I gave Angie some money towards the salad and stuff she was buying for supper. When we had paid, Angie pointed out the hairdressers with a couple of empty seats.

“I know your sister did a pretty good job with your hair this morning,” said Angie, “ but if you get it cut properly it will be easier to handle in the mornings, especially when you need to get ready yourself.”

I agreed it made sense so we went into the hairdressers, still inside Wal-Mart that is, and they got me straight in. Angie and the hairdresser helped me pick a style that wasn’t too far from the shape I had before, but would more easily manageable and a little bit more feminine.

Sitting in the hairdressers chair was the first time today where I got to sit still with nothing else to contemplate my predicament, but having my hair done in a professional stylists is not something I could sit through without paying attention.

The first thing that happened was to be swung around and have the back of my chair collapse backwards. My hands and feet flew in the air and I was trying to climb back up out of the chair without any success when the hairdresser tried to calm me down.

“Easy does it lady!” she said. “I am only trying to wash your hair. Have you never had your hair washed before?”

“Er, no actually,” I said.

“Then who has been doing your hair?”

“My Mom and my sisters most of the time.” I said.

“I could tell your last haircut was not a professional job. You seem to have it cut like a boy.”

“What can I tell you? Until recently I didn’t take good care of my hair, but from now on I am determined to have it look good now.”

“Just lean back into my hands and I will take care of you. Close your eyes and enjoy being taken care of.”

It took a little while for me to relax but after a couple of minutes I enjoyed the sensation of someone rubbing their hands through my wet hair and massaging my scalp.

I never realized having your hair cut could be such an intimate experience. If I opened my eyes I could see right up her nostrils.

“Well I can tell you that the best way of ensuring you have good hair is to find a good hairdresser and go to them regularly.” She said quietly to me as she was talking only a few inches from my ears,

“$60 or $80 dollars a month is a reasonable price to pay to ensure your hair looks good and is manageable.”

$60 or $80 dollars a month! I thought that would be what I should be paying for food. This being a girl thing is becoming expensive.

She wrapped my head including my eyes with a nice soft towel and kind of hugged me as she brought me back into the upright world instead of the upside down world I had been in, then she gently but firmly towel dried my hair. I could see how women could easily develop relationships with their hairdressers.

She clipped and cut for a while then put some rollers in and put me under the microwave or whatever it was. Sure seemed to dry my hair quickly. Then she cut and snipped and blow dried while adding stuff here and spraying stuff there.

At one point she stopped to gently rub my cheek with the back of her hand.

“You must have had the laser on your face,” she said. “Your skin is so clear but you have not even the tiniest hair on your face. They do a lovely job. We have one here if you ever need it again.”

“You have lovely hands,” she said. “I hope you don’t mind me saying but you really need you a manicure. Those wicks are getting rather raggedy. The girls here can do a really good job if you have an extra 15 minutes.”

“Oh that is a wonderful idea,” knowing that she probably gets commission on everyone she sends over, “but I really don’t have the time. Maybe next time I come here.”

It was wonderful seeing my hair transformed into a real girly shape. My face looked smaller and highlighted my hair. There was no way I could possibly go home with my hair looking like this. Mom would have a fit.

In 40 minutes my hair was done and we were heading back to the apartment.
It was after 6:30 when we got back and Carla and MJ were there to complain that it was Angie’s day to arrange dinner and they were hungry. My day would be Thursday. There was a schedule in the kitchen.

Angie got supper ready quite quickly. She had bought spinach, bell peppers, chunks of cooked turkey and nuts and with other things already in the fridge, she had prepared a very nice salad in just a few minutes.

Not exactly the kind of food I would have prepared if left to my own devices, but obviously the kind of food I would have to get used to. While we sat at the table and started eating, Angie brought over a jug of water with ice and chunks of lemon in it with 4 glasses.

“So how was your first day as a full time girl?” asked MJ.

“I really enjoyed it,” I replied. “I think I should have done this years ago.”

“So did you meet any nice guys,” asked Carla.

“There were a few,” I said, “but are you all assuming I am gay and want to date guys?”

“It feels natural for us to think that way,” said MJ. “I have always thought that someone who puts on a dress and make-up, especially someone as pretty as you, would be doing it to attract men. Do you think I have made a reasonable assumption Leslie?”

“I am sorry MJ but I haven’t had time to think too deeply about it. Yes I admit that it feels good to wear a dress and feel attractive. It also feels good to have nice young men pay attention to me, but that is not my primary focus. I am here to earn a degree in math.”

“But you could have done that without wearing a dress Leslie,” said Angie.

“I agree,” I said, “but when we started discussing my options last night this seemed like the most painless choice, and to tell the truth the thought of spending so much time in a dress dramatically tipped the scales. I realize now I just love being a girl.”

“But part of being a pretty girl like you Leslie is having some young stud put their tongue down your throat.” Said MJ. Then she held her fist near my face. “Over to Leslie for a reaction.”

I dithered a little. “Seems a bit disjointed doesn’t it? I like the attention but the thought of kissing a boy has not occurred to me yet, but it doesn’t repulse me either. I was talking to Connie today and she made a comment about holding Lawrence between my knees. I did imagine that scene for a moment and I was definitely not repulsed.”

“OK,” said Carla leaning over the table towards me. Close your eyes and listen to my voice.

“Let’s try this. Imagine you are talking face to face with this Lawrence. You can taste his sweet clean breath on your face, then he puts his arms around you, one hand resting on your butt gripping one cheek and pulling you firmly towards him.”

“Then he kisses you on the lips and you feel his tongue enter your mouth, you taste his tongue then you start tingling all over. Then you realize that you can feel his erect penis pressing against your stomach.”

“Oh Shit,” I said and my knee hit the table and the cutlery on the table all bounced at once. I had to put my knife and fork down and reached between my legs. “I like just got a shock between my legs.”

“I think we got our answer,” said MJ. “She wants him.”

“You are so easy,” said Carla. “If that really happens he will have your pants off so fast you won’t know what hit you, and then where would you be?”

I heard what they were saying, but I was concentrating on the tingling between my legs. I dashed off to the bathroom and left them giggling at me.

When I got to the bathroom and pulled down my pants I found that I had come in my panties.

I was amazed at myself. OK so I had been aroused a frequent times during the day, shit, just wearing the dress and knowing that I looked like a girl was constantly arousing, but to think that the thought of Lawrence’s penis digging me in the stomach putting me over the top, oh I still felt woozy.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. “You OK Leslie,” asked Angie.
I’m OK,” I said. “Just cleaning myself up!”

I could hear MJ outside talking to Carla. “I told you she came in her pants.”

“When you have finished in there you will have to clean up the mess in the chair you were sitting on,” said Carla.

“There was no mess,” said Angie.

“There could have been,” said MJ. They were having a good giggle about it.

I suppose it was kind of funny. I put my semi cleaned pants back on.

“I am gonna have to get a shower,” I said then I opened the door. Outside in the hall Angie grabbed me as I opened the door and gave me a hug. MJ and Carla joined in. I burst out crying on her shoulder.

“Everyone deserves a hug after they orgasm,” said Angie.

“Then you guys owe me hugs from this morning while you were out,” said MJ. Then I started laughing though my tears.

I had another revelation to consider, as I sat in my room to compose myself. I was attracted to men. The thought of Lawrence holding me against his rock hard body, putting his tongue in my mouth and feeling his erect penis against my stomach had brought me over the top.

This was a moment for resolve, I persuaded myself. Boys were not part of the plan and I was not going to let this tingling between my legs get the better of me. I would carry on my day determined not to let the thought of boys enter my mind.

As the girls had agreed to give me a makeover for this evening and explain everything as we go, I cleaned my face and took a shower. I had to use a plastic shower cap to keep my hair dry. Another thing I had never done before.

I dried myself, took off the shower cap and put my new bra and boosters on, knickers, then a camisole top and slip and walked out into the kitchen where Angie and Carla were waiting for me with all of my new make-up collection. MJ sat watching TV.

Angie and Carla explained what to do with my make-up, only this time I had to do for myself. They had a list written out for me, all of the tools and items I would need then explained what I needed to do in order. They just let me do it, giving me little pointers and explanations on the way.

Use concealer under the eyes and for any darker area, primer on the lips, never use dark eyeliner on the inside of the eye, sweep eyeshade outwards, powder in the recesses of the face, but away from the eyes.

When I was finished they explained that what I had now was a daytime and school look. For evening I had to add more of almost everything. More eyeliner, eyes shadow and mascara, deeper colored blusher and lipstick and a little more powder again.

I told them what clothes I was going to be wearing, which was the same dress but with leggings underneath, 4” heeled gladiator shoes instead of flats and my short denim jacket. Definitely not overdressed for an impromptu audition but still attractive and youthful.

The time was now a little after 8pm and I completed getting myself dressed then stayed in my bedroom to practice a little guitar and allow the girls to get ready. I also trimmed the nails on my left hand to ensure I could pick the strings properly, then repainted my nails.

At 10 minutes to 9 the four of us left the apartment and headed down to the Coffee Hutch.

The lighting inside was a considerably darker than during the day with candles on the tables. Where our table had been in the morning was replaced by two tall stools and 2 microphones on stands lit by a couple of spot lights.

A little background music was playing. I recognized Connie, Caroline, Lawrence, Vic and Anders but another 15 or so people I did not know.

Rebecca came in from the back with a tray of wine and beer for some people I didn’t know. She was wearing a different black short evening dress with no jewelry except for some diamond earrings. She didn’t see me.

I took MJ, Angie and Connie over to meet the people from my class and some conversation developed around subjects and schedules etc. After a couple of minutes Rebecca came over and ushered me away from the others and back towards the kitchen.

“I hate to do this to you Leslie but its sink or swim time. I am going to introduce you to the owner here and he wants to talk business.”

We stepped into the kitchen and Rebecca introduced me to a tall slim attractive man about 50 with long greying hair pulled back in a ponytail. He offered me his hand as he saw me.

“Hi you must be Leslie,” he said in an English accent. “I am sorry to do this too you but a couple of people have told me that you might be a good singer, although no one has heard you yet.”

“The duo that I was expecting tonight called and said they can’t make it and I couldn’t get anyone else. All I can tell you right now is that if you can play for 2 hours it’s worth $100 and if you are any good I will book you and the money goes up if you bring more people in.”

“What is your name,” I asked.

“Dylan,” he answered.

“After Bob Dylan?” I asked.

“No,” he said. “It is actually after a rabbit named Dylan that my folks used to watch on TV when they were kids. He carried his guitar wherever he went. The rabbit was named after Bob Dylan.”

“The rabbit carried a guitar?” I asked.

“Yup,” he said.

“Cool,” I said. “OK I am sure I can handle two hours, but I will tell you one thing that is important to me.”

“Shoot,” he said.

“Shoot what,” I asked.

“I mean tell me what is important to you.”

“My college work. If you start making demands on me that interfere with college work or my attendance, then I will quit.”

“You haven’t got the job yet,” he said.

I looked him in the eyes with confidence. “Some people think I am overconfident.” I said. “Others just think I am right.”

He thought about it for a moment then offered me his and said, “Deal.”

“Deal,” I said shaking his hand. “I’ll get my stuff ready.”

I didn’t have much to get ready. As he walked to the front of the restaurant Rebecca and I stayed behind in the kitchen where the alcoholic drinks were prepared.

“Need anything at all?” said Rebecca.

“A glass of red wine would be good.” I told her.

“I thought you said you were too young to drink.”

“I think that comment was taken out of context,” I said. “A glass of red wine is a medical necessity right now. For my voice,” I said.

“Sure,” she said. She reached out and poured me a glass and handed it to me. I quickly enjoyed it and used it to clear my throat, then gave her the glass back.

I turned and walked over to where my guitar was then took it to the front and prepared myself. I nodded to Dylan who introduced me. I carried on tuning my Taylor which didn’t actually need tuning so I wasn’t actually listening to Dylan, just for when he said, “Leslie.”

I turned around smiled and got up on the stool and spoke into the mic.

“Hi my name is Leslie Haigt. H A I G T just in case any of you is from the news media or a record company."

“I actually consider myself half of a duo with my sister who is actually the better musician and I am going to modify what I play because there is only one of me so I ask for your indulgence. I hope I can keep you entertained anyway.”

“I am starting with some Sheryl Crow.”

I started with the Bm7 cord and tapped the guitar with one finger on the off beat then dropped down into A.

‘I woke up and called this morning’
‘The sound of your voice was a warning’
‘You don’t care for me anymore.’

I continued through the chorus the second verse then the second chorus then to the bridge.

‘Well nothing ever last forever, even when you stay together.’
‘I don’t need happy ever after’
‘It’s your laughter won’t let me go so I’m holding out this way’

Then to the sad finish.

‘When you see me walk on by, did it ever make you cry.’
‘My favorite mistake, my favorite mistake.”

Then the full Bm7 with maximum sustain. I knew I had nailed it.

There was enthusiastic applause for a small crowd and even a couple of whistles.

“Thank you,” I said. “This is a two part guitar song that kind of sounds OK with one guitar. It’s a Pink Floyds tune.

I started into ‘wish you were here’ and did the intro twice before starting into some of the most amazing lyrics I have ever heard.

‘And did they get you to change your hero’s for ghosts’
‘Hot ashes for trees, hot air for cool breeze’
‘Cold comfort for change, and did you exchange’
‘A walk on part in the war, for a lead role in a cage’

Intro again, final verse then intro two last times.
More enthusiastic applause. I knew I had them on my side.

I played a few more tunes and really enjoyed myself till I saw Rebecca at the back of the crowd waving an empty glass at me so I told the crowd thanks and I’m taking a short break.

I made my way to where Rebecca was and the people I met where congratulating me on a great job.

Dylan stopped by to say, “So I think we need to discuss what nights you are available Leslie?”

”Will you be here in the morning?” I asked.

“I am the cook,” he said.

“Then you can make me breakfast,” I said.

“Sure,” he said.

I made my way to the kitchen and Rebecca had a glass of wine for me.

“You are amazing,” she said, “I wasn’t prepared for you to be that good”

“You embarrass me,” I said.

“No I don’t,” she answered. “I heard the way you spoke to Dylan. You must be the most unembarrassed person I have ever met. You know exactly how good you are and if I ever saw you embarrassed I would guess you were doing it intentionally just to be polite.”

“You could embarrass me!” I said.

“I doubt it.”

“But maybe I would enjoy you trying.”

“Now there is a thought,” she said. “But we will have to save that thought for another time.”

That gave me something to look forward to. I finished my glass of wine and made my way back towards my guitar. Part way back Vic stopped me.

“Can you do ‘More than words’ by Extreme,” he asked.

“I could do but I would normally need harmony.”

“I can do harmony with you,” he said.

“Come on down then, let’s do it now.”

So we did more than words. Vic has a nice voice and we sounded good together. He looked into my eyes most of the time while we were singing which felt kind of nice.

It’s a lot different feeling than when I sing with my sister. I thanked Vic then he kissed me on the cheek before he sat down which was nice.

I continued with a couple of Stevie Nick’s songs then continued singing anything I could remember that I could do on my own trying to avoid any songs that were obvious masculine songs as they didn’t seem right what with me wearing a dress.

I didn’t know what time it was but Dylan came down and stopped me as it was well after 11pm. He thanked me and told the crowd that he would arrange for me to do this again real soon, then Rebecca switch the lights on, Dylan turned the PA off and the crowd quickly dissipated.

Lawrence came to me while I was putting my guitar away.

“You play and sing beautifully,” he said and I thanked him. He said, “But I am a little jealous that Vic got to kiss you before I did.”

“It was a friendly kiss on the cheek,” I said. “And that’s as far as you are going to get in the foreseeable future.”

“That sounds a little dismal,” he said. “But how far into the future can you see?” I didn’t answer that question.

“Can I walk you home,” he asked.

“You can walk me, MJ, Angie and Carla the 50 yards to our apartment if you wish. I will be ready in just a few moments,” I told him. Then I went back into the kitchen to say goodbye to Rebecca. She was locking the back door.

“You were amazing,” she said. “Dylan really loved you and I bet he will let you have any schedule you want.”

“I have not thought about schedules,” I told her, “But I am coming around for breakfast in the morning. I should be here before 9am.”

“Cool, we will see you in the morning,” she said. Then she picked up my hand and kissed me on the palm of my hand. My mouth fell open and I became all tingly.

“You’re not embarrassed are you?” she asked.

“Embarrassed is not the sensation I am feeling right now,” I said smiling cheekily at her. Then she turned me around and pushed me out of the kitchen towards the front door.

“Get out of here” she said.

I walked back down to the front door and Lawrence was holding my guitar case.

“Can I carry this for you,” he asked.

“Sure,” I said. “Not too heavy for you is it?”

“No I think I can manage.”

We walked behind the 3 girl’s back to the apartment and I was feeling very pleased with myself. There wasn’t much time to talk.

“You know I would really like to record you some time,” he said.

I told him I would think about it, then I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, grabbed my guitar and was first up the stairs into the apartment.

When Carla came up she said, “He is still down there looking for you. He said you hadn’t answered his question.”

“What does he want?” I asked.

“Go ask him.”

I went downstairs and opened the door. “What do you want?” I asked.

“I was wondering how far you can see with that crystal ball of yours.”

“I don’t have a crystal ball,” I said.

Then he reached out had put his hand around my wrist and smiled at me. I had the feeling I knew what he wanted.

“I am not going to kiss you,” I said. I wasn’t going to tell him but it was nice to feel his touch.

“Are you sure,” he said. Then he gently started pulling me towards him, not so hard as I couldn’t pull away, but I didn’t want to pull away.

“What are you doing,” I asked.

“Testing your resolve,” he said.

“What resolve,” I asked.

“When you said you were not going to kiss me.”

‘Oh Shit,’ I said to myself. I felt myself being drawn towards him. I knew I could just turn and run up the stairs, but I didn’t want to. I wanted him to kiss me.

He pulled my arm up to his chest then placed his other arm around my waist. I had to put my other arm around his shoulder to steady myself. He was as solid as a rock. He bent his head down and positioned his mouth over mine.

We kissed, my tongue touched his and I saw stars. For a few moments I went all tingly and week at the knees, then I pulled back and realized what I was doing.

I pushed him away without saying anything, slammed the door ran upstairs to my room tears were falling down my face before I hit the bed and buried my face in the pillow.

I was angry as I cried into my pillow and kicked my feet into the bed.

How could I let myself do that?

I was still a boy wasn’t I?

How come I enjoyed it?

The girls came after me to find out what the problem was, MJ was sat at the desk and Carla and Angie sat one each side of the bed.

“What’s wrong Leslie, did he hurt you?” said Angie as she rubbed my back.

“No,” I said.

“Did he make you do anything against your will?” said Carla.

“No,” I said. “He kissed me!”

“Was his tongue too far down your throat,” said MJ.

“That’s horrible,” I lifted my head up and scowled at MJ.

“So what do you expect?” said MJ. “You dress, talk, sound and act like a very attractive woman then complain when some handsome guy kisses you. You can’t have it both ways Leslie.”

“I couldn’t stop him,” I said.

“Then that’s assault,” said Angie.

“No, no,” I said. “I mean I couldn’t stop myself.”

“You thought being a girl was going to be easy didn’t you?” said MJ.

“I thought I was just going to wear a dress and go to school. I didn’t plan on kissing anyone.”

From the hallway I could hear the sound of someone knocking on the front door. Carla went down to answer it.

“I think he must be still out there,” said Angie. “Do you want to speak to him?”

“No I couldn’t,” I said. “I wouldn’t know what to say. I feel stupid and confused.”

“Is that the way you feel every time someone kisses you?” said MJ.

“I don’t know,” I said. “I have never really been kissed before.”

“Not by a man you mean?” asked Angie.

“Not by anyone,” I said.

“I told you,” I said. “When I was a boy no one ever took any notice of me.”

“You never told us you had never been kissed.” said MJ.

“Well now you know. Lawrence is the first person I have ever kissed. Boy or girl. Now you know how totally screwed up I am.”

“Was it nice?” asked MJ.

“That’s beside the point.”

“No its not,” said MJ. “I think you are a transgendered woman. You probably should have been a girl all along.”

“That may sound simple to you,” I said to MJ. “But I am even more screwed up than that.”

“What do you mean,” said Angie.

“I really like Rebecca too.” I said. “I think she wants me and it really excites me.”

“You are screwed up,” said MJ.

“At the Coffee Hutch I went to say goodnight to her and she kissed me on the palm of my hand.”

“Did you kiss her,” said MJ.

“No but I wanted to.”

“Have you any idea what you are doing?” asked Angie.

“No,” I said. “That’s what I have been telling you. Since I put a dress this morning I have been like a kid in a candy store. I can have anything I want and everyone helps me. I am the center of attention. I have never had that experience before.”

“So what was it like being a boy?” asked Angie.

“It was like every door was always closed and I had to push my way in, and every time I got inside the door my sisters were always there with all of their stupid friends.”

“But you said your sisters love you,” said MJ.

“They do,” I said, “but the people they hang around with are not interested in me. I am just a dorky boy.”

“I think it’s time for you to get used to the new reality,” said MJ. “You are a beautiful woman and it’s time you took control of your life.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“If you want to kiss him then what’s stopping you?”

“I am a boy,” I said.

“No you are not. Make your mind up. I see a beautiful girl in front of me. Is that what you want to be?”

“Yes,” I said.

“Are you sure,” asked MJ.

“I think so. I can’t imagine wanting to go back to being a boy now.”

“Then go kiss him again.”

“I can’t!”

“Are you sure? Are you in control of what you want?” asked MJ.

“He is still outside,” said Carla who had come back up without me noticing.

I sat up on the bed. “Is my make-up OK,” I asked anyone who was listening.

“It’s OK,” they said. “Anyway its dark outside.”

I walked over and looked in the mirror. Not the greatest I realized but I don’t think I would scare anyone away. I was more composed now and I had a purpose in what I was doing. I walked down the stairs and opened the door.

“Lawrence,” I called out quietly.

“You OK,” he asked as he stepped out from a shadow.

“I am OK. I want to tell you something.”

“What,” he asked.

“I don’t want a serious boyfriend,” I said.

“That’s OK,” he said.

“I might let you kiss me once in a while but that’s as far as it gets,”

“That’s OK,” he said. “I will take what I can get.”

“And you can’t be possessive with me.”

“Will you be possessive with me?” he asked.

“Don’t know,” I said. “I have never done this before.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. “You want an open relationship?”

“No that’s not what I meant,” I said. “I have never had a boyfriend.”

“Serious,” he asked. “Never had a boyfriend?”

“Never,” I said. “Have you had girlfriends.”

“A few,” he said. “But never more than one at a time.”

“I have no idea how this is going to work out,” I said. “But I am willing to give it a try.”

“I can live with that,” he said. “Can I kiss you now?”

He moved closer towards me and put his arms around my sides to pull me gently to him. My body was pressed into his and I was leaning back with my arms around his shoulders as he looked into my eyes.

I closed my eyes and he kissed me. I felt a tingling glow radiating from my lips to encompass my entire being. I could feel his penis against my stomach. I didn’t run.

Digging a hole is that the way you treat me
Digging a hole just lock me up and beat me
Big Sugar

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 6.

My Favorite Mistake. Monday September 9th after midnight.

I don’t want to talk about what Lawrence and I did on the front porch, save to say that we kept our clothes on and I had an out of body experience. It is true that I don’t have much experience at kissing but I really think Lawrence is a good kisser. I enjoyed myself anyway.

After I left Lawrence on the front porch I went back to my room. I didn’t see the girls and I guessed they had gone to bed. I needed to call Fiona. She answered after 3 rings.

“What time do you call this?”

“We need to talk. Something has happened.” I said.

“What can have happened already? I was with you this morning and you only went to orientations.”

“Listen, you know when that lady in ‘Angels Only’ was fitting me for a bra?”

“Yes.”

“She said I had breasts.”

“You’re sure,” Fiona asked.

“I remember what she said. It was only this morning. She said some people who come here don’t have any breast tissue at all, just like boys, but I did have real breast tissue, only they are small. She also said I have women’s nipples.”

“My goodness Leslie, we always thought you were different, but this.”

“I think maybe I should have been a girl all along. I had the most wonderful day. I really enjoy being a girl.”

“Have you really thought about this?”

“It seems obvious to me after spending the day as a girl, I don’t think I ever want to go back to being a boy,” I said. “There’s something else.”

“OK so what have you done now?”

“I kissed a boy.”

“Jesus Christ Leslie you have only been a girl for 5 minutes and you’re kissing boys already.”

“I only kissed one boy on the lips,” I said. “And one boy on the cheek.”

“This is serious Leslie; you are making life changing decisions. You have got to put more thought into it than this.”

“I have to go home and talk to Mom on the weekend. I am sure she will understand.” I said. “After all I was not much of a boy.”

“Don’t say that, you are a beautiful boy. We all love you so much.”

“Beautiful is not normally what you call a 19 year old boy. No one ever calls me handsome or rugged or tuff or any other adjective you associate with boys. As a boy I have been pretty much the runt of the family.”

“I have been wearing a dress for one day and I have lost count of the people who have called me pretty, and I have loved every minute of it. I got hit on by some really good looking guys.”

“So what happens to my brother?” Fiona asked.

“I am still here. I just wear dresses now. You can still call me Leslie only now we can swop dresses instead of me borrowing yours when you are not looking.”

“I feel like I am loosing something. I always had a brother. You are my best friend.”

“I will still be your best friend. I bet we will spend even more time together. We can go dress shopping and double dating and watch chick flicks together.”

“You have to go see a doctor.”

“Why? I feel fine.”

“Normal boys don’t just grow breasts. Maybe there is something wrong.”

“I know I thought about that, but it can’t be urgent. I don’t feel any different than I did yesterday.”

“But yesterday you were happy being a boy. I think that is a pretty radical change.”

“But everything about me feels right. I look at myself in the mirror and I see what I should have been all along. I feel like a girl.”

“I can’t help feeling apprehensive for you Leslie,” said Fiona, “but you sound so happy and positive that I can’t help feeling happy for you too. So tell me about the boy?”

“He is not like a boy. I was a boy. Lawrence is a man. He is about 5’-10” and broad shouldered and powerful, but very sweet and he is in my class. He is not nerdy at all.”

I explained how we met and how I later played at the Coffee Hutch and how he walked us back to the apartment.

“But it’s only 50 yards,” she said. “What happened in those 50 yards?”

“Well I kissed him on the cheek, took my guitar and ran upstairs. Then the girls told me he was downstairs waiting for an answer. I didn’t understand so I went down to see him.”

“When I got downstairs he was like this irresistible force that just couldn’t resist. I just had to kiss him. After a few moments then I realized I was kissing a boy and just about threw a fit. I ran upstairs to my room so angry with myself for being so stupid. The girls came to see me to find out what the problem was. I told them everything.”

Fiona was surprised. “So they must have told you that this was crazy and you can’t go around kissing men who think you are a girl?”

“No, not at all, they said everything would be OK if I took charge of my life and if this is what I really wanted then I should go for it.”

“That’s stupid talk Leslie. If the boy you are kissing knows you are a boy then you don’t have a problem, but that is not you’re situation.”

“But wait there’s more,” I said. “He stayed downstairs to find out what he had done wrong, so I went downstairs to apologize, that’s when he kissed me again. He had one hand around my waist and one had on my butt cheek and he swept me up like a rag doll. I could feel his penis against my stomach and if felt so much like this was meant to be.”

“Don’t be silly. It sounds like you have a crush on him. Your hormones are out of whack and you have lost control.”

“It also sounds really dangerous Leslie. He thinks you are a girl. If he finds out you are a boy he could get really mad.”

“I know Fiona but I was thinking, maybe I am not just a boy. Maybe there is a girl inside me that was just waiting to get out. Maybe I was supposed to be a girl but things just got mixed up and my body is a mistake.”

“You may think all those things may justify what you did, but that man has just kissed a boy when he was thinking he was kissing a girl. He could really go crazy.”

“You have to stop it Leslie. It is dangerous. I can tell you that if he finds out you are a boy and doesn’t like what you did to him, he could make your stay here untenable. You would have to leave in disgrace.”

“But it sounds like you’re not helping me Fiona.”

“I am trying to stop you from getting the shit beaten out of you Leslie.”

That comment gave me a ringing in my ear. I am not used to getting admonished by my sister Fiona.

“Tell me Leslie, before today, have you ever really kissed anyone before? Really? Like hands all over you like they want to suck you in and wrap themselves around you?”

“No,” was my simple but honest reply.

“Then I am not surprised that your first kiss seems to be a game changer. I remember when I went to a party at Megan’s house, I was sixteen. Do you remember Ross Brinkley?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said.

“Well I thought I had been kissed before but that night we stood around the side of Megan’s house and he was all over me. He wasn’t just kissing me he was rubbing his hands around my waist and ribs and massaging me.”

“I actually came in my pants and he never when near my pants. Well he actually went near my pants but not in them. He had his hands all over my tits before I realized. I couldn’t stop him or just didn’t want to stop him.”

“In just two hours at that party I became infatuated with him. I thought that I couldn’t live without him. Later in the week I almost had to be restrained from going round to his house to talk to him.”

“I don’t ever remember you going out with Ross Brinkley.”

“That is the point Leslie. I never went out with him. I was just a girl at a party that he had some fun with for an hour or two. For days afterwards I couldn’t think of anything but him, but when I saw him in school he just said ‘Oh Hi’ and walked away, like we never really met. I was devastated for about a week, but I got over it.”

“You think that kissing Lawrence has messed me up so I can’t thing straight?”

“Yup!”

I was beginning to come down from the rush of kissing Lawrence.

“You mean this sensation I feel is not real?”

“Oh I am sure it’s real. I bet he made your world tremble, but don’t base any conclusions on one kiss.”

“You think I should go kiss some other guys?”

“No Leslie. I think you should let the effect of this one wear off before you make any dramatic conclusions about life and your future. It took 19 year to get to where you are now. Don't go planning the rest of your life based on the last 5 minutes.”

“I am in control a little more now,” I said. “It’s still fun being a girl.”

“I know,” She said. “I love you Leslie, regardless of whether you are my brother or my sister, and you will always be my best friend.”

“I will imagine you cuddled up next to me tonight and sleep better for it.” I said then we both hung up.

I was feeling very tired after a very long day so I took off my clothes and put on my nightie, cleaned my teeth, had a pee and went to bed. I remember waking briefly in the night for no reason other than my corset binding a little, but I generally just slept.

Tuesday September 10th.

In the morning I was dreaming of Fiona’s gentle touch and dreaming like I could feel her tits on my back and her arm around my waist. I held the arm around my waist against me and realized it was not Fiona. It was not Carla and I think the girl behind me was too tall to be MJ.

“Good Morning Angie,” I said guessing a who is was.

“Good Morning Leslie,” said Angie whispering only inches from my ear. “Are you feeling any different after your tongue wrestling exploits last night?”

“Oh yes I am definitely feeling different today. Last night I was telling Fiona that there was no possible way I could ever go back to being a boy again after yesterday.”

“I should hope not. I would never do this to you if you were a boy.”

“Was I that ugly?” I asked her.

“No you were definitely not ugly, but I am not the kind of girl who climbs into bed with a boy that I have only known for a week.”

“I am certainly glad I am a girl then,” I said, “because having cuddles like this from my girlfriends is certainly a wonderful way to start the day.”

I was certainly not going to tell her that she was a very beautiful woman and that she was giving me an erection by being so close to me. Sisters is one thing but Angie is gorgeous.

“So how come you are cuddling me today?” I asked. “Is everyone taking turns?”

“I thought you might need some comforting. I was assuming that kissing Lawrence again might have made you feel different or confused or something.” She said. “Anyway I wanted to see if you would wake up or stay asleep like Fiona said.”

“Why, how long have you been in my bed?” I asked.

“About fifteen minutes. You saying good morning actually woke me up from a light sleep. You are very comfortable to sleep up against. But you don’t sound upset at all,”

“I am not upset, although I haven’t thought about what happened last night this morning yet. I think it just sorted itself out while I was sleeping and I am OK with everything.” I assured her.

“I am almost disappointed,” she said. “I was thinking that you might need a comforting hug but I see that I am not needed,” she said as she used me to push herself up out of bed.

‘Bummer’ I said to myself. Even if I do feel OK I will always feel better with a hug. I guess some days we only get to feel so good.

“I am getting a shower.” She said as she strolled out of the room. She moved quickly and was just like a light breeze blowing out of the room.

After she showered so did I, separately unfortunately, and I started the task of rebuilding the girl that was Leslie. I used ladies deodorant and some talk under the places that would be covered by my corset.

I started adding the necessary undergarments but before I got too far I realized this was the first time I was doing this on my own without anyone waiting outside the door for me. My mind went back to a week ago when I was dressing for sexual gratification, or was I? I recapped those times in my mind.

There were times earlier in the year when I was on my own in our family house for the whole day. I would raid the closet that my sisters had set up for me for a dress, shoes and underwear etc. and just hang out.

I would have breakfast in a dress, play my guitar in a dress, go for walks around the house in a dress, text some of my buddies and make arrangements for Leslie the boy to do stuff as a boy, all while wearing a dress, and at some time during the day the sexual self-satisfaction part of the equation would reveal itself, but would never dominate.

Now as I am dressing up Leslie the girl for a day of college activities I find myself becoming aroused. But it’s not the same. Before this week my reality was that of a boy who never thought about being a full time girl, so my time in a dress was just a temporary diversion. Time wasted and forgotten.

Today I am looking at this predicament from several different perspectives at the same time. I don’t know how to order these perspectives as they jump into my reality randomly.

There is the boy Leslie from last week looking down and seeing himself dressing in pretty girls clothes and getting an erection. That Leslie is quickly becoming a previous evolution and while he pops up every little while, the others are hoping he will go away.

There is the mathematician Leslie who tries to solve each equation as is arises and adopts a solution, creates a path forward and goes for it. That is a backup characteristic that Leslie has that does not change between perspectives. Mathematician Leslie is neither male nor female.

Musician Leslie seems to change from male to female depending on the song that is playing in her head at the time, and there is always a song playing in Leslie’s head, except when the mathematician comes along and has a problem to solve.

Then there is the girl Leslie who wants to laugh, hug and be wrapped in pretty dresses. Being called pretty is the highlight of her day and this Leslie is becoming everyone’s favorite, of all the Leslies that is.

But it is Leslie the girl that is also the most vulnerable. The girl Leslie is the one who kissed Lawrence last night and is still bathing in the glow. But it is the girl Leslie who is fighting for acceptance and has to rely on the others to come and fight for her when she doesn’t know which way to go.

The girl Leslie didn’t understand that she actually had a voice until two days ago.

At this moment it is mathematician Leslie who is addressing the problem of ensuring that Leslie is well turned out and attractive but remembering how to apply make-up and put her pretty new hair style back to how it was last night.

The boy Leslie is getting in everyone’s way by looking over our shoulder and trying to catch a glimpse of a little cleavage or frilly panties.

The musician Leslie is playing a tune to entertain us all. This morning it’s the ‘Foo Fighters’ playing.

‘Easy for you to say, your heart has never been broken’

‘Your pride has never been stolen, not yet not yet’

‘One of these days, I bet your heart'll be broken’

‘I bet your pride'll be stolen, I bet I bet I bet I bet’

‘One of these days’

The girl Leslie is patiently waiting for everyone else to complete their jobs so she can go out and be pretty and find out if everyone is having as nice a day as she it.

I, including all my various parts and personalities, completed dressing and make-up etcetera and readied myself for breakfast with Dylan at 9am. Angie was drinking coffee and watching TV. We exchanged plans.

Angie had similar plans to me for today. Books and pre assignments were the order of the day. See had a mid-afternoon Engineering Faculty introduction meeting that she wanted to attend so although we might cross paths we didn’t plan to do anything together.

It seems MJ and Carla where already in class today and Angie had already eaten breakfast so I headed for the Coffee Hutch to see Dylan and maybe Rebecca.

When I got to the Coffee Hutch it was quiet inside with only two tables being used. I sat in my favorite table in the window and waited. In a moment Rebecca came in from the kitchen, noticed me and came over with coffee and a mug.

Rebecca came over, placed the Mug and Coffee on the table and gave me cheek kisses while holding my hands together on the table. Then she sat down next to me but turned towards me with our knees touching. She held my hands together and placed them on her knee, her green eyes sparkling as she spoke to me.

“You were wonderful last night Leslie. Everyone I have spoken to commented on the wonderful surprise of hearing you play. Dylan is so impressed that if he could he would ask you to play every night of the week.”

I sat and looked at her. I couldn’t help myself as I smiled while she was talking. Her eyes were so bright and cheerful they lifted my spirits even though I was already feeling good before I came in. She was absolutely stunning. I was wondering what I must have done in a previous life to be so gifted to be allowed to gaze into this woman’s eyes.

“You look radiant this morning,” she said to me. “You must have slept well I guess. It must be a wonderful feeling to be able to sing like you do and have people adore you?”

“I am just glad to make people happy,” I replied. “But what about you? You look wonderful today. Your eyes are really sparkly in the sunshine. I don’t think I have ever seen such amazing bright green eyes before.”

“Stop it Leslie you are embarrassing me.” She said as she poured me some coffee. “I can’t believe how a young girl like you can embarrass me like you do when so many have tried and failed.”

“I am not trying to embarrass you,” I said. “I am just saying what I feel. My nerdy mathematical brain just says what it thinks.”

“You are not a nerd,” she said. “You may have thought you were a nerd in the past but what I see before me is not a nerd, so get that out of your head. Do you want breakfast? I know that Dylan was wanting to cook for you.”

“Send him down,” I said. “Let him tell me what he can do for me”

Rebecca went back to the kitchen and very soon Dylan came back swashbuckling down the restaurant looking very pleased with himself. He grabbed for my hand.

“Wonderful to see you this morning Leslie,” and then a little hesitantly he said. “May I kiss you?”

“Sure,” I said. “Just don’t get carried away.”

He kissed my high on the cheek then sat down opposite me at the table.

“You look nice today Leslie. It’s nice to see you smiling. Last night although you did smile at the right times, I thought your performance was deliberate, professional and controlled. This morning you do not have the burden of performance upon you, therefore your smile is lighter and more natural.”

“You are so perceptive Dylan. You described my moods better than I can.”

“I think it is a trick I have learned being in the entertainment business for so long. I noticed that you projected so much confidence last night, I was wondering if it was because you find performing an easy task or do you hide your feelings well.”

“I don’t see it that way Dylan,” I said. “I have a part of me that is nervous, but I have another part that takes over and does not allow the nervousness to affect my performance.”

“Interesting,” said Dylan. “I have never heard anyone put it that way. Anyway, after hearing you last night I am really optimistic about this year.”

“Good to hear it,” I said. “I hope you don’t mind but my stomach is grumbling and I was really hoping to get some breakfast.”

“Ah yes, I was going to suggest something to you. I have a special supply of sage seasoned sausages and I serve them on a bagel with cheese. Can I tempt you with one? I serve it with fruit?”

“Sounds wonderful,” I said.

“Good,” he said as he grasped my hands that were resting on the table and shook them gently. He took off for the kitchen.

Just then my phone rang. It was Dawn.

“Hi Dawn, how is my beautiful sister,” I asked.

“I am OK Leslie. I was just in the area and I thought I might just drop in on you and see how College life is.”

Oh shit, what was she doing here?

“That’s not necessary Dawn and I am away deep in the college and won’t get out for hours.”

“Leslie I want to meet my new sister!”

News gets around fast. Fiona must have called her. The knots that had been forming in my stomach had disappeared to be replaced by a second set.

“Dawn I am asking you please be patient with me and cut me some slack.” I didn’t want Dawn’s manipulating personality spoiling my day that had started off so wonderfully.

“I love you and I am so sorry,” said Dawn. “I want to apologize for all the things we did to you as a child and the things I have been doing over the last few months.”

I could almost hear her tears down the phone. “Can I please meet my Sister?” she asked again.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“I am outside your apartment.” She said. I looked down the road and I could see her Subaru.

For a moment I wondered what to do but I really only had one choice. “Dawn, I am not at the apartment but I am just down the road. I am going to walk down the road to you.”

I had no choice. I had to go see her and face the consequences whatever they were. I just hoped she didn’t make a scene.

I got up and left. I knew I should have told Rebecca and Dylan but I would probably be back in a few minutes.

I watched Dawn get out of the car and she saw me. I was wearing a dress, heels and a woman’s hairstyle but I knew she would recognize me.

I knew I looked OK but I had no idea of what she would think, but her apology on the phone sounded authentic. As I got closer to her I could see she was struggling with tears. I got to 20 feet of her and she ran to me and burst out crying.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said as she placed her chest on to of mine and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. I guess she must think that this is partially her fault.

“I’m just fine. There is no need to apologize to me.” I said trying to console her.

“I can’t believe I was so wrong. All of those times we dressed you as a girl must have really messed you up and I feel so guilty.”

“Honestly it was not your fault Dawn. I was built that way. I wanted to wear a dress every day that you let me. You didn’t mess me up.”

She released me from her grip but held me at arm’s length and looked at me. “I always thought you were beautiful as a boy buy I never thought you would be this pretty!”

“Guess I have good genes!” I said.

“You look a lot like Fiona. We always said you could be twin sisters.”

“I know. That used to sting a little when I was trying to be a boy, but now I take it as a complement. Are you gonna be OK now?” I asked.

“You don’t get rid of me that easily Leslie. I want to spend a little time with you.”

“I don’t want to get rid of Dawn, but a few minutes ago I ordered breakfast and I would like to eat it now. Are you hungry?”

“I am a little,” said Dawn. “When Fiona told me I just got in the car and drove here. I didn’t think about food, but I am hungry now.”

“OK so we are going to go back into the restaurant down the road. They don’t know that I used to be a boy and right now I don’t want them to know.”

“I’m OK with that. You can trust me,” said Dawn.

“Remember,” I said, “I never was a boy, ever.”

“I got it Leslie, really,” said Dawn.

Dawn held on to my arm as we walked back to the Coffee Hutch. “You are really pretty Leslie,” she said.”

“Thank you Dawn. That’s nice of you to say.”

“I am not just saying it,” said Dawn. “You are really pretty.”

I thanked her and reminded her that she needed to repair her make-up before we went into the restaurant.

Rebecca greeted me as we walked through the door. “Leslie we were worried. You just up and left we didn’t know where you had gone.”

“I am sorry for that,” I said. “My sister Dawn surprised me.”

“My fault,” said Dawn. “I came down to apologize for something I said. It was my fault.”

Dylan came walking down to speak to us.

“I am sorry for the missed step Dylan,” I said. “This is my sister Dawn who came down to meet me unexpectedly. Can Dawn share my sausage sandwich with me?”

I could see from the look in his eye he was pleased to meet her.

“Dawn I am very glad to meet you and there is no need to share. I will prepare a whole new batch for us all. Won’t take a few minutes.”

I reached over and touched Dylan’s arm. “Sorry to mess you up Dylan.” His arms were hairy like my Dad’s but blonde hairy. He seemed to appreciate the physical contact.

“Sausage?” said Dawn.

“I think these are special sausages Dawn,” I said. “Just go with it.”

Rebecca held her hand out to Dawn. “And I am Rebecca.”

“I am sorry Rebecca,” I said. “Rebecca and I only met two days ago but we are sure we are going to be close friends.”

“Yesterday,” said Rebecca.

“OMG yesterday,” I said. “I can’t believe we only met yesterday and I feel we are such good friends already.”

Rebecca and Dawn shook hands then Dawn hugged her. “If you are a close friend of my sister then you are a close friend of mine,” said Dawn. “I love my sister with all my heart.”

We were now alone in the restaurant. The 3 of us sat down at the window table then Rebecca realized that we didn’t have coffee and went up to get some.

Dawn reached across the table to hold my hands and look at me. “I am really sorry for those things I do Leslie. I couldn’t believe how guilty I felt when Fiona told me. “If there is any way to make this up to you?”

“Dawn I am fine honestly. I just love being a girl,” I said quietly to her. “I should have done this years ago.”

“So when are you going to tell Mom and Dad?’ She asked but I couldn’t answer because Rebecca came back with a pot of coffee to sit with us.

“So tell us about this boy you kissed last night Leslie,” asked Dawn.

I didn’t want that to come out in front of Rebecca but Dawn didn’t know that. I wasn’t sure if I had a relationship with Rebecca but I hoped so.

“That was nothing,” I said. “Just messing around. A mistake really.”

“But I know you have never kissed a boy before. Did you enjoy it?” said Dawn.

“It was nice for sure, but I have nothing to compare it with. I have never dated a boy or a girl for that matter.”

“I can’t believe that,” said Rebecca. “19 years old and looking as good as you do and you have never been on a date.”

I realized this was my time to tell the story about me being a tomboy like I told Connie and Caroline, so I told them.

“See here,” I showed them a picture on my iPhone. “This is of how I used to dress when I was a nerd or a tomboy as some would call it.”

“Sometime we would call her beautiful boy and refer to her as him. She just didn’t care,” said Dawn catching on really quickly.

“Amazing,” said Rebecca. “So what made you want to dress like a normal girl?”

“Well some boys that I had met told me that they thought I was a boy. I had always thought of myself as a girl and those words hurt me, so I decided to become the girl that my family wanted me to be.”

“And you have never dated?”

“Not once,” I said and Dawn shook her head in agreement.

At that time Dylan came down with the breakfast and it was delicious. The sausage with sage seasoning was excellent and it wasn’t a bit fatty so Dawn had no opportunity to complain.

The breakfast went well and Dawn and Rebecca exchanged phone numbers so they could both keep tabs on me.

After we ate Dylan and I apologized that this was actually a business meeting to discuss me playing here in the evenings. Dawn understood and said nothing, while Rebecca was an interested party who listened but did not contribute.

Dylan asked me to play Thursdays and Sundays for $200 per night with an extra bonus if we got over 80 people per night. Those days were the ones that suited me best. It allowed me to home on the weekend and have days during the week to study.

I asked about Fiona and he said that it was $200 per night for the act. One or 2 people is irrelevant. But if the two person act brings in more than 80 people then the bonus would be the reason to do it.

He also told me that my food etc, was free any day that I was playing. Staff privileges he called it. He said I brightened up the place anyway. I thanked him.

We shook on it, then we all realized that the day was hurrying along without us. It was hugs all round. Rebecca asked me to text her. Dawn and I walked back to the apartment.

I showed Dawn the apartment, but she really only wanted to hug me and apologize. We sat on my bed together and she held both of my hands.

“I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming,” she said. “When I did that stupid things debasing myself in front of you I thought your reaction was a typical boy and everything just confirmed the boy story.”

“But you are thinking of an either or scenario Dawn. It’s more complicated than that. I was born with boy bits and have boy hormones floating around in me. Those part reacted like you expected, but that was just the boy in me.”

“Other parts of me think like a girl and that part of me just turns off when the boy thing is happening.”

“So now I feel like I was adding to your conflict every time I pulled one of those stupid stunts.” Dawns head dropped again. I felt like she was going to cry again.

“You didn’t know that Dawn. Now that you know I am conflicted I know you won’t do it again.”

“I am so god dam sorry Leslie, I really am,” said Dawn holding my hands even firmer.

“Dawn please don’t go overboard with this. You didn’t know this was happening. I am not sure I knew it was happening till now. I want us all to go forward with this and not get caught up with the past.”

“So how are you going to tell Mom and Dad? If it would help I could talk to them.”

“I feel like it’s my job to tell them but I am sure I can’t just present myself for inspection looking like this. They would have a fit.”

“Then let me tell them Leslie and you can come up at the weekend and they can see you looking your best.”

“That makes it sound too simple Dawn.”

“But if I do this for you them maybe I can spare you from the initial scene and when they see you they will have had time to let it sink in. You would be able to have a more meaningful discussion with them.”

“That would be a lot better than just showing up in a dress with a damn the consequence attitude. At least I would be spared their initial shock but they wouldn’t.”

“Please let me do that for you,” said Dawn. “I feel it’s the least I can do.”

“OK,” I said. “But tell me when it’s going to happen so I can sit by the phone and wait for the call I am sure I will get.”

“So where does Rebecca fit into this?” Dawn asked.

“To tell you the truth I don’t really know. She has been so kind and helpful to me. From the first moment we met she has acted like my best friend, but it’s not as simple as that.”

“So give me the whole story,” said Dawn.

“To put it bluntly,” I said, “I am attracted to her and I think she is attracted to me.”

“I can understand you being attracted to her because of your boy bits and I see that she is quite stunning, but how come you think she is attracted to you?”

“Because of the things she says and the way she says them. But she kissed my hand twice.”

“That sounds really weird.”

“Yeh I know. Last night I went to say good night after the show and while we were in private she kissed the palm of my hand. I went weak at the knees.”

“My goodness,” said dawn, “that kind of signal is usually positive and unmistakable. Do you think she is lesbian and wants you? The girl you that is”

“That’s all I can think of.”

“Then I go and tell her that you kissed a boy last night.”

“I noticed. I didn’t know how that was going to play out.”

“So what about the boy,” asked Dawn.

“After taking to Fiona last night, I think it was just me experimenting. I wanted to find out what it was like to kiss a boy.”

“So what was it like?”

“It was heavenly, but I have never been kissed before. Now that I reflect on how I feel about it, I realize that I am just messed up right now and whatever I feel is hormones and a reaction to the sensation of someone’s lips on mine.”

“I am so amazed that you are so calm and analytical towards these huge life changing things that are happening to you. The first time I seriously kissed a boy I was like in a zombie state with my hands out in front of me shouting ‘give me more, give me more’.”

We both laughed about that.

“I was like that for about half an hour,” I told Dawn, “but then Fiona burst my bubble and explained the hormone overload.”

“How mean,” said Dawn, “at least she could have given you a day to bask in the glow!”

“Yes but she reminded me that I was still actually a boy kissing another boy, and he thought I was a girl. If he found out things could get ugly in a hurry.”

“I never thought of that,” she said. “So where does that leave you and what will you do about him?”

“Well she is obviously right. Before I kiss anyone else I need to tell them who I am.”

“So are you going to tell him?”

“No possible way.” I said. “I am not ready for that, but I have to tell him I can’t see him anymore.”

“But he is in your class. You will probably have to see him every day.”

“Since when has life been easy?” I asked.

I explained to Dawn that I had to go do my college stuff. She understood and she told me that she was a lot more comfortable now than when she arrived, but she was still very apologetic.

I don’t think I had ever felt more connected with my sister Dawn before. Shame it had to be a ’family emergency’ for it to come out.

So Dawn got herself together and fixed her make-up again before giving me more hugs. I watched her from the driveway as she drove away. I knew she was always an emotional girl and she would probably cry all the way home.

I texted Fiona about the gig at the Coffee Hutch tomorrow and she said she would be there. Then I texted her to thank her for telling Dawn and she said ‘you’re welcome’. I thought it should have been more of an apology.

Then I emailed Dawn to ask her not to tell Mom and Dad till Thursday night or Friday morning and I would make my way home after class Friday after school, maybe 7pm. I didn’t know if she could handle that but I guess I would find out.

Then I texted Rebecca to say I was going to the college book store to get my books and my pre-assignment that had been sitting in the registration office since Friday when I forgot to pick it up.

Rebecca said she had run out of time and wouldn’t be able to see me till this evening.

I told her I have to do my pre assignment before my first class tomorrow morning at 9am so I didn’t know if I would make it out of the apartment.

She said she would see me tomorrow.

‘Bummer’ I thought to myself. I guess this is when the real work of college begins.

I got into the Honda and drove over to the college bookstore because I was guessing my books could be heavy. I knew there were places I could get used books and last year’s editions etc. but I had a credit card from my dad and he could afford it.

I searched around the bookstore and found all of my books. This is going to be easier than I thought. I had been told stories about not having books in stock and having to find them on line and such but I was lucky.

I went to the pay for the books and the lady totaled it up. Nearly $650 in books. They were so heavy that I knew I would have to take them to the car in two loads. I handed her my credit card.

“Can I have your ID,” she said. I gave her my student card.

“I can’t take that,” she said. “I need something government issued.”

I hadn’t thought of that. I was not just going to give her my driver’s license because it said male. I knew I didn’t have $650 left in my own account because I had spent too much money on clothes.

I didn’t know what to do and was having problems thinking straight. This bookstore was beginning to feel like an unfriendly alien environment. I decided to leave.

“I will have to get back to you,” I said and went to walk out.

“You can’t leave those here; you have to put them back.”

Now I was angry. I gritted my teeth and went back to pick the books up off the counter, and look who was standing by the counter but Lawrence. Just what I didn’t need.

“Can I help you with those,” said Lawrence. “Do you need them taken to your car?”

“No,” I said with just a twinge of frustration in my voice. “I have to put them back.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“My credit card wouldn’t work.”

“I only needed to see your driver’s license,” said the woman behind the counter.

“Why won’t you show her your driver’s license Leslie?”

“Because I don’t have it with me.” By now I was raising my voice.

I tried to pick the books up and Lawrence tried to reach for them. I tried to pull away from him but the top book flew off and hit the floor.

The woman from the counter was over like a shot.

“If you have damaged any of the then you will have to pay for them,” she said.

The one that I dropped had damage on the corners.

“But you won’t take my credit card.” I snapped at her.

“It’s not my fault you don’t carry your drivers license. You are supposed to carry ID by law.”

‘Fucking ID’ I thought to myself. Why didn’t I think of ID? I needed to get past this and get my pre-assignment competed. Then I realized that my debit must have some cash left on it.

“You don’t need ID for debit do you?”

“No.” She said.

“So I will take this one I damaged.” A Friendly Introduction to Number Theory, J.H. Silverman. Not my favorite subject but it was on the list. Then I looked for the algebra book which was my pre assignment. Linear Algebra and Its Applications, David C. Lay. “And I will take this one.” Damn it that one was heavy. I put the two books down in front of her and handed her my debit card.

She wasn’t pleased to help me but I was in a stinking mood now.

She offered me the machine and I paid. Then I tried to leave with my books. I bounced open the door and started to run up the steps.

“Hey hold up Leslie, wait for me,” said Lawrence from behind me.

I turned to Lawrence and said “I’m sorry Lawrence but I don’t have time for you right now.”

He said. “But what about last night, I thought we had something special.”

Then I said out loud, “It was a mistake Lawrence, just a big mistake.” Then I could feel I was going to burst out in tears and so I ran away from him.

I got in my car and just drove away. He was standing there just where I left him, looking at me with his mouth open, arms out wide and his palms facing me. I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop.

When you see me walk on by
Did it ever make you cry?
You’re my favorite mistake
Sheryl Crow

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 7.

Another girl. Tuesday September 10th Midday.

I didn’t know that I could be a cruel and heartless bitch until I drove away from Lawrence without feeling anything for him. My anger and embarrassment at not being able to use my credit card was no excuse, even if I only had boys ID. I am sure that I would pay for my actions one way or another.

I drove back to the apartment because I wanted somewhere to escape to, but as soon as I got there realized that hiding was not going to get me anywhere, and it was not going to get my pre-assignment completed.

I was a little calmer now than I had been at the bookstore, so I drove over to the dean of admissions registration office to pick up my pre-assignment. I parked; walked into the office, flashed my student card, picked up the pre assignment envelope and left.

There were people everywhere, but I did not try to recognize anyone because I did not want to stop and explain myself. I didn’t want to risk bursting into tears which I felt I could at any moment.

I have never felt so alone in a crowd of people before.

I got back to the apartment and took my books into my room. There was no one at home. I threw my shoes off and sat up on my bed, wrapped my arms around my knees, buried my head in my own lap and tried to figure out what I must do.

I had no money left in my bank account and I couldn’t use my credit card without ID. Sure I could use my credit card at Wal-Mart or Target because they were set up differently. But at the College bookstore I needed ID.

Dylan owed me $100 but he promised to pay me on Thursday. I needed another $300 worth of books before then.

I couldn’t ask Dad or Mom because they would have to send money through a bank and electronic deposits normally take 2 or 3 days.

Dawn would do anything for me right now but she was probably not home yet from seeing me this morning.

The only person who was in a position to help me was Fiona. She was the closest; she had her own credit card and ID. She was the only person who could get the books for me when I needed them. There was no one else I felt I could ask.

I texted Fiona and told her I couldn’t pay for my books without ID and asked her if she can come over here and by my books for me, and to phone me for an explanation. I knew that she probably had classes so she wouldn’t reply straight away.

I was right. No reply in 15 minutes. I couldn’t just sit here and stew about my predicament so I started reading my pre assignment.

It was not easy to concentrate as I continued to replay my poor behavior in the bookstore and the way I treated Lawrence over and over. Nothing changed. I was still a heartless bitch.

I felt very alone. I didn’t think that my feeling alone was a direct result of my choice to become a girl but probably just an indirect result, but this would not have happened if I had been a boy.

After turning things over in my head I determined that if I had chosen to remain a boy I would probably be alone for different reasons, and I probably would not have had anywhere near as much fun.

At this point the need to complete my pre-assignment overcame my mini depression and I started work.

I moved over to the desk and worked continuously for maybe two hours before my stomach reminded me that food was required. I went to get a glass of water and some munchies from the kitchen. While I was munching MJ came in.

MJ was not the person I wanted to talk to at this time, so we exchanged pleasantries and she went into her room. Then she came out.

“Leslie, something tells me that you are not in the same happy mood you were in yesterday. Are you OK?” she asked. I didn’t immediately make up my mind to speak to her so she asked again.

“You can talk to me you know. I am an understanding sole and my shield of abrasive resistance is down right now and I can assure you that I am a friend,” she said.

She had taken a position standing next to me and we were both leaning against the kitchen cabinets just watching the floor tiles remain static.

“I discovered the bad tempered heartless bitch side of me today!” I said. I told MJ what happened about the credit card and my boys ID and my empty bank account.

“That makes things complicated,” she said. “How are you going to pay for your books?”

“I am hoping that Fiona can come over and help me out,” I said.

“Is that all,” she said. “But that doesn’t make you a heartless bitch.”

It’s true that MJ was not the person I wanted to discuss this with, but she was here and I needed someone to speak to. So I opened up to her.

“MJ remember last night when you told me to make up my mind on what I wanted and just go for it?”

“Yes,” she said. “And I still think that was good advice. You can’t sit on the fence and be both. You have to be one or the other.”

“I understand the sentiment behind your words but it is just not as easy as you think. For one my driver’s license does not agree with you.”

“Well get it changed. That’s not an insurmountable object.”

“That is not half of it. Last night I kissed Lawrence.”

“Good for you,” said MJ. “Now you are making serious strides forward. That is one of the things that girls are expected to do. Don’t you think that is progress?”

“I understand that you are trying to encourage me in my desire to change my life, but I am still a boy.”

“But you don’t look or act like a boy. Your real self is not a boy and in your heart I am certain there is a girl in there.”

“But don’t you see that doesn’t count MJ. Last night I kissed a man who believed he was kissing a girl. That is deceitful. If I told him that I am a girl I would be lying.”

“I may feel like a girl and act like a girl, but below the waist I have boy parts and if he finds out I could be in serious trouble.”

“I gave you bad advice didn’t I?” said MJ.

“It was advice that I wanted to hear and wanted to believe was true. I was the one that went out and kissed him.”

“Did anything happen?” she asked.

“Just kissing and stuff, but last night and this morning I have been talking to my sisters and they made me realize that if I was going to kiss anyone, that person needs to know who or what they are kissing.”

“I guess they are right. I am sorry Leslie. I have heard that speech given to a couple of my friends, but it always in the context of one girl wanting to kiss another,” said MJ. “Now that it is presented as a boy in a dress kissing another boy doesn’t work the same.”

“I am sorry Leslie,” she said as she held my hand.

“It was me who did the kissing MJ. I wasn’t so drunk that I couldn’t figure it out myself. It’s just that I was so single minded in my desire to kiss him.”

“So are you going to tell him?”

“Tempting but no.” I said. “There are already too many people who know about my status and the list is growing. I don’t want anyone else from the student body to know.”

Then I told her about him knocking the book from my hands while he was trying to help me, and outside where I told him it was all a big mistake.

“Bummer!” she said.

“So the only people I can kiss are the people that know about me being a boy underneath.”

“Well you have to tell everyone eventually Leslie.”

“But why MJ? Why do you want me to tell everyone that I am a freak who looks like a girl but has boy part below the waist?”

“But surely you will get a sex change and then everything will be OK.”

“Please don’t put me in that box MJ. Right now I am wearing girl’s clothes and really enjoying it, but I have only committed myself to one year of college and I have definitely no thoughts of surgery.”

“But I thought every transgendered woman had the goal of becoming a complete woman,” said MJ.

“Hold on MJ. You are going way overboard with this,” I said. “Right now what you see before you is a boy in a dress. These descriptions you are using like transgendered and sex change are not part of my vocabulary. I enjoy wearing a dress, but I haven’t thought any further than that.”

“So you are not transgendered?” she asked.

“MJ I am not sure what the real definition of transgendered is. You are probably the first person I have ever discussed this with. If it helps the woman in the bra shop the other day said I have woman’s breasts.”

That caught MJ by surprise. “Um, can you explain that?” she said.

“I can try, but I don’t know what it means. Fiona took me into a store that caters for women who are flat chested or have had breast surgery. The assistant there told me I am not flat chested like a boy but I have some breast tissue and I have woman’s nipples.”

“Can I see,” said MJ.

“No.”

“But that is really weird!”

“Is that comment designed to make me feel better MJ?”

“I am sorry Leslie but I have never heard of that before. Usually the people I meet are just people who believe that should have been born in the other sex. But you sound like you may be physically already part way between the sexes.”

“Yes I agree MJ. It is another wrinkle in the cloth, but I don’t know what it means. I have not spoken to a doctor about any of this but it is obvious that I should, as soon as I can make some time in my schedule.”

“Look,” said MJ, “remember when I said I could take you to a club for people like us. I was talking about is an LGBT club that’s not to very far from here. They often have counselors there to help people. How about if I take you tomorrow?”

“OK but what does LGBT stand for?”

“You really don’t know?” she asked.

“MJ you really need to understand something about me. I really don’t know. I have been enjoying wearing dresses in the comfort of my own home. Apart from that I know nothing about what other people do. Gay lesbian whatever. I really didn’t think I had anything to do with them.”

“Well you do now Leslie. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered. I suppose if you are not a regular heterosexual then you are with us. The club we go to is called the Rainbow Club. That’s not its real name, but that is what we call. It is the closest LGBT tolerant club I know on this side of the river, however there are bunches of them in Philly.”

“If you have time, we could go tomorrow evening. There is no cover on a Wednesday and there are fewer trannies and no karaoke during the week.”

“What do you mean karaoke?”

“You don’t have to worry about that, but on Thursday, Friday, Saturday the cross dressers and trannies have a kind of karaoke where they dress up in outrageous clothes and mime to famous women’s songs. It can be really funny. Some of the women I go with get up and sing butch guys songs just to join in.”

“But I would have to be really careful with you if we went on those nights Leslie.”

“But why?” I asked. “I have no interest in doing that at all!”

“But Leslie you would be one of the most desirable people in the place.”

“But why MJ. What have I got that is so special?”

“Leslie you can do what many cross dressers can never do. You pass. You are a boy that looks like a totally believable girl and very pretty girl. If they found out you would be an absolute superstar.”

“You think you get hit on a lot as a girl. Wait till those people see you as a boy in a dress. They would be all over you. You may not get out in one piece.”

“If we go tomorrow I suggest you dress as a boy. You will look like one of us and no one will bother you. If you want some attention then go in a dress and tell everyone you are a boy.”

“But MJ I still don’t understand why.”

“Because Leslie, people will not just see you as a boy in a dress. They will also see you as a beautiful woman with a penis. For many trannies, gays and many straight men you will be one of the most desirable creatures they have ever seen. They will go crazy for you.”

“I had no idea,” I said.

“If you really want sex with a man, then you will find many willing men there who will help you. And they will be lining up for the chance.”

“I don’t know if I want that MJ. That would be gay sex and I am not into that.”

“Leslie, please make your mind up. Yesterday you were kissing Lawrence and you told me you enjoyed it. You said you could feel his penis against your stomach and it excited you.”

“But when I kissed Lawrence I was doing so as a girl. The girl in me wanted to kiss Lawrence.”

“Leslie, are you one person or are you a schizophrenic with multiple personalities because I don’t sense that. You have various facets to your personality yes but it’s only you Leslie. You are the one driving the bus. There is only one Leslie.”

“I am totally screwed up MJ. I didn’t know about most of this stuff and I don’t know how to react to it. Yes I agree that there is only one of me but I am torn about what I want to be and what to tell people.”

“OK Leslie. Let’s think about how you identify yourself. Can you describe what you are first?”

“So getting over the fact that I am wearing a dress. I am a boy. I am a boy who likes wearing dresses but I can’t say I am a girl.”

“So are you a boy who likes the illusion of being a girl Leslie?”

“I don’t like that description. I am not an illusionist MJ. I am a boy who likes to feel like a girl. I am a boy who feels more comfortable being a girl.”

“Leslie, I know I started this but I don’t think I should finish this conversation. You need to be talking to a counselor who is knowledgeable on this subject. I have already given you bad advice once. I don’t want to do it again.”

“I would like to take you to the rainbow club tomorrow and let you talk to some people who know what they are talking about. Can we do that Leslie? Will you come with me?”

“But you seem like you know a lot more about this that me MJ.”

“Yes I know Leslie but I have just started my second year. Right now I know enough to make me dangerous. You need to talk to someone qualified.”

“OK MJ I will go with you. But you said I can’t go in a dress as a girl.”

“I guess I shouldn’t have said that either. If you go dressed as a normal girl you may look a little out of place, but that’s because the other people there generally look a little different.”

“The problem is not with you but with everyone else. You look like such a normal girl. We don’t normally get gay women who look as normal as you do but sometimes we do.”

“My remarks about trannies, gays and straight people desiring you were also over the top with hints of stereotyping too. One thing important to any of the people I have ever met at the rainbow club is that they will all respect you.”

“You may get hit on, but if you say ‘no I am not interested’ or ‘I don’t do that’ they will back off. You generally do not find an overabundance of testosterone at the rainbow. So wear a dress, and just to support you I will wear one too.”

“Would you wear a dress for me MJ?” I asked.

“Yes I will. I think I have one or two somewhere.”

I hugged MJ and went back to my room and Fiona called.

“So what is this nonsense about not being able to get your books because you have boys ID?” said Fiona.

“I can’t” I said. “I don’t look like the boy on my driver’s license and they could call the police.”

“But Leslie,” said Fiona. “Have you thrown away all of your boy’s clothes. And is your make-up permanently etched into your skin?”

“No,” I said guessing what was coming next.

“Then go wash your hair and don’t comb it after it’s dry, clean off all your make-up and put some of your regular boys clothes and go get your books.”

Well silly old me. I was so hung up on being a girl that I forgot that I am still a boy.

“I am sorry Fiona,” I said. “Sometimes I am not as smart as I think I am.”

“No kidding!” said Fiona.

“I guess I deserved that,” I said.

“Well this has been nice Leslie but I have to eat something then go to a rehearsal.”

“I’m jealous.” I said. “Why didn’t I take music?”

“Because you don’t like Brahms and you don’t like cello. See you tomorrow at 8:30 Leslie. And don’t ever forget that I love you.” She hung up. I love you too I said after she hung up.

Even though I was nowhere near as messed up as I could have been, I had still managed to leave myself in a bit of a pickle. The college bookstore was now closed for the evening and I had a class in the morning starting at the same time as the bookstore opened.

I would need to purchase the calculus book for my second class which was after lunch, so it looked like I would have to come back from class in the morning, get changed and get my books, come back here and get changed again then go to my afternoon class. I didn’t have time for all that.

Or, I could go to the morning’s class with only a little make-up, then at lunchtime wash my face and put boy’s clothes over my girl’s clothes to buy the books then take off the boys clothes and put some more make-up on. The biggest problem with this was where to change.

Or I could just make thing easy on myself and lie about why I didn’t have the calculus book. I didn’t feel comfortable with lying to a lecturer so I would have to be plan B.

The rest of my evening was filled with completing my pre-assignment and eating our evening meal. MJ had prepared a nice meal of chicken in some kind of gravy with peppers and onion with boiled potatoes and a Greek salad. Quite nice actually.

I did tell the girls about the scene with Lawrence. I had to tell it twice because the first time I told the story without mentioning the credit card and my boys ID, I just sounded like a totally unfeeling bitch telling a nice boy to pound sand for no reason.

When I told the story for the second time, including the part about needing ID and getting upset about the damaged book, I only sounded like an angry bitch who took out her frustrations on an innocent person, Lawrence. Not a big improvement.

I don’t think the girls were too impressed with me. Conversation stopped pretty quickly after dinner and we just drifted to our separate rooms. I finished my pre-assignment then had a little time to practice my guitar and went to bed early.

Wednesday September 11th.

I woke before the alarm and immediately continued planning my lunchtime assault on the bookstore. I know that sounds a little overdramatic but it’s so stupid that a seemingly benign activity like getting a book from a bookstore can seem so complicated, but I have to make gender changes either side of my bookstore appearance.

My plan was to drive my car this morning and park it around the side of the book store. I would leave my change of clothes inside which would include a baggy sweater, baggy cargo shorts and flip flops. I would leave my Algebra class at noon, grab a quick bite to eat at the cafeteria, visit the powder room to remover my make-up, walk over to my car at the bookstore and change into boys attire, get my books and return to the car and put my girls clothes back on, remembering to put make-up on and get back to my Introduction to Analysis class at 1:30.

I decided to modify my girl’s clothing to suit my plan. Bra with small breast inserts. No corset. A dress that could be removed over the head without a zipper, but I didn’t have one. The only one suitable had a side zipper so it would have to do.

Fortunately the Honda had dark smoked windows so I didn’t think anyone could see in and I was confident I could find a spot in the shade to park so the car would not be too hot.

I showered and dried my hair with a towel and just used a brush point things in the right direction. It looked a little messy but it had to do the job of both boys and girls hair. I added minimal make-up and headed into the kitchen. MJ was at the kitchen table eating cereal and Carla was standing drinking coffee while starring out of the kitchen window.

We did the ‘good morning and how are you today just fine’ thing then I got some cereal and sat down to eat. MJ was the first to enter into conversation.

“Are you losing interest in this being a girl thing already Leslie?” said MJ.

“I am trying to do as little as I can to look feminine without having to look perfect,” I said. “I am hoping that the dress does most of the work.”

Carla looked over. “Bit of a come down from Monday night Leslie,” she said, then she returned to looking out of the window.

“I have been telling people that I do not want boyfriends or relationships, but that doesn’t agree with the way I am dressed,” I said. “I think perfect make-up and hair encourages boys to think I am interested.”

They heard what I said but didn’t respond.

“What’s going on outside Carla?” I asked.

“Road works down on the corner near the Coffee Hutch,” said Carla. “There is a hole in the road but the road is not blocked and it looks like the sidewalk is OK.”

Conversation did not continue further so I packed up my books and my Ipad for notes then packed a separate bag with my boy things and headed down the stairs. I got in my car and drove down the road.

Once outside the Coffee Hutch I had to avoid the big hole in the road, but there was a whole bunch nice men clad in orange and yellow stripes guiding me around the mayhem. I parked under a nice big tree at the side of the bookstore and headed across the parking lot towards the main entrance, through the main building and out across the courtyard to the Washington Wing and the Woodrow Wilson hall.

So this was it, my first day in class at university. Not quite what I had expected. I certainly never expected to be attending college in a dress.

I sat half way up the room I the center. I was twenty minutes early. The room was arranged like a conventional class room with 16, 4 person tables and therefore 64 maximum in the class. There were 3 large video monitors at the business end of the room and one more on each side.

All of the desks had multiple power and internet connections and the main screens showed ‘blackboard’ website addresses for the course. A note below the main address stated that the presentation content could be directly downloaded and it gave a second address. The Wi-Fi code for this area was shown along the bottom of the screen.

‘Why the hell do I bother attending class?’ I thought to myself.

I wasn’t long before some familiar faces started arriving. Connie and Caroline saw me and came to sit at my table. We didn’t speak about anything in particular, mainly because anything anyone said seemed to carry easily across the room so anyone could hear.

Lawrence came in with Vic and sat somewhere behind us. They didn’t acknowledge me. Maybe I would get a ‘bitch’ label and people would avoid me.

With 5 minutes to go the lecturer came in and placed his things on the desk at the front. He was a large roundish man maybe in his 40s wearing a grey suit, white tie and with a clean shaven head. He had the only desk that had its own monitor. With what seemed to be every place in the room filled the lecturer walked over and closed the door then stood in front of the class looking out upon us all.

“Good morning and welcome to Mt Laurel University of New Jersey. I trust you have all taken advantage of our many orientation classes and are fully equipped and prepared to start learning. I will now begin that process.”

“This is course M51 An introduction to Linear Algebra and its Application. I am Professor Alan Ball.”

We then got into the math. I am assuming that readers of this story won’t be interested in the actual math so I won’t go into it. But if any of you are, please send me a private email and I will send you a link to the course material.

I of course had half my brain concentrating on the class and the other going over my book procurement exploit at lunch time. I think I had it all covered but it didn’t help to go over it again.

The pre-assignment was used to asses our knowledge of the subject and we marked our own papers under the lecturers guidance and the end of the lecture, and with about 5 minutes remaining we all filed to the front to hand in the pre-assignments and meet Professor Ball.

After shaking the Professors hand I was off, girl on a mission to get the rest of my books. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, no approval required and I certainly didn’t want anyone with me.

I went around the north side of the main building to the cafeteria area and located Little Caesar’s Pizza. I was one of the first in line so had no delays here. One slice of pepperoni and a coke was all I needed then headed back around the north side of the main building, pizza and coke in hand, and west end of the building and the Dean of Admissions office. I don’t know if anyone from my class was following me but I saw no reason why they should.

At the west end of the main building I turned the corner and stopped to finish my pizza and coke, wiped my hands and put the garbage in the garbage can, then dodged into the east door near the Dean of Admissions office where I had seen a access enhanced washroom. There I could clean off my make-up without attracting attention. That completed I left the main building and headed across the parking lot to the bookstore and my car.

Part one completed I was at my car, but there was a parking notice on it telling me that these places were 1 hour maximum spaces and after lunchtime today a parking fine of $25 dollars would be enforced. OK I thought because I wasn’t going to stay more than a few minutes.

The car was also bathed in bright sunlight as the sun had moved around during the day, but I wouldn’t be in there long. Shouldn’t take me more than a minute to change.

I got in the back seat of the car, checking that no one was around and immediately pulled my dress over my head. Pulled my sweater on, it was getting hot in here, then pulled on my cargo shorts followed by flip flops and out of the oven of the car. Got my wallet out of my purse and headed into the bookstore.

It was easy to find the books I needed as I had already found them once yesterday. I collected the ones I needed and brought them over to the counter. It was the same lady as yesterday.

“Didn’t you try to buy these books yesterday?” asked the lady at the counter.

“No not me,” I said. “But my twin sister is also at this college. I am getting the books for her.”

She took my credit card and driver’s license and gave them a thorough inspection.

“She looked a lot like you, and this looks like the same credit card. Can I see your student card?”

“Excuse me but I am only buying books. You don’t need to see my student card.” My student card did not denote gender and I looked pretty much the same on it as I do now, but I wasn’t going to cave in to her requests if I didn’t have to.

“But the girl who tried to buy these same books yesterday looked exactly like you and tried to use this credit card. In fact I think it is you.”

“Look, does my card work and does it agree with my driver’s license. We are identical twins and sometimes we use each other’s stuff,” I said trying to be as matter of fact as I could. If she pushed any further I would not know how to react.

She ran the card through the visa machine and the receipt came spluttering out of the end. She handed me the receipt, but I know she didn’t like it.

“Identical twins!” she said with a kind of disbelieving look on her face. There’s something about that woman that starts my blood boiling and I don’t know what it is. I just smiled, picked up my books, cards and receipt and headed out of the door.

As I walked up the steps and back towards the car I saw what I perceived to be a security guard hovering around my car. He looked like he was going to fill out another parking ticket. Now I was already a little angered by the lady in the bookstore. I didn’t need any more crap.

“Excuse me,” I said. “That is my car!”

He stopped writing and turned to me. “This car has been here all morning so you will have to move it. We give the new students half a day’s grace before start ticketing and your time is up.”

“I will move it now then!” Now my plan had an additional step. I wasn’t expecting to have to move my car.

“Please do,” said the security man. “There is plenty of parking in the main students parking area and you are young and strong enough to walk that far. This parking is reserved for the bookstore and the Dean of Admissions office.”

‘Cranky old buzzard’ I wanted to say to him, but he still had a book of parking tickets in his hand. He made way for me to get into the driver’s seat so I got in, placed my books on the passenger seat and started the car.

When I looked up who should be standing next to him but Lawrence with a book in a College Logo plastic bag.

He was looking straight at me from right in front of the car. I kind of waved to him feeling rather stupid because I had boy’s clothes on and no make-up. He waved back and made his way to the car window. I wound the window down.

“Are you OK?” he asked, obviously checking out the scene, my lack of make-up and my boy’s clothes.

“I’m fine,” I said, trying to act like there was nothing wrong with wearing a dress then and make-up in class then looking like a boy during lunch break.

“You look kind of different, in fact you look like another girl altogether.” he said looking bemused by my appearance.

“I like to mix things up,” I said. “We don’t have to wear the same old boring stuff all of the time do we?”

“Look can we talk?” he asked, obviously not wanting to talk about my appearance.

“OK I have a minute but I have to move the car.”

“Can I get in?” he asked.

“No Lawrence. Look I like you but I can’t have a boyfriend. I have been saying that I didn’t want a boyfriend all along, then before I even get to my first class I stumble into you. It’s not going to happen.” I was almost shouting because I wanted to make sure he heard me against the traffic in the main road behind.

He had put his books down and was bending over leaning against my driver’s door. “But I really like you and I thought you liked me!”

“Yes Lawrence I think you are a nice person and I am sorry about yesterday but I can’t have a boyfriend.”

“But can’t we still be friends?” he asked. “We have a lot in common and I think you will enjoy having me around.”

“But you can’t go hitting on me and trying to kiss me. I find you attractive but I can’t have a boyfriend Lawrence I just can’t. If you find that difficult to live with that then you will have to leave me alone and find some other friends.”

“I suppose I will have to take what I can get,” he said.

“But no trying to kiss me,” I said. Totally stupid thing to say because as he was right there almost inside the car at face level and it took all of my will power not grab his head and pull him inside the car.

I had to get out of there before I kissed him again and regretted it again. I put the car into gear and bumped the clutch.

“Sorry Lawrence I’ve got to go,” I said as he jumped back. “See you in class.” I said as I moved slowly past him. I hope I didn’t run over his toes or his books. I don’t think he said anything as I was leaving.

I drove away from the college towards the Coffee Hutch and Swedes Road but when I got there the road was completely closed and a whole squadron of workmen wearing yellow and orange stripes were standing around a big hole watching someone working.

I took a quick left and a right trying to parallel Swedes Road and find the other end, but after a few minutes I realized that I was wasting time and getting nowhere, so I turned around and headed back. I was concerned now because my plan was totally screwed up I had only half an hour to get changed again and get back for my next class.

I parked around the corner from the Coffee Hutch and walked the rest of the way down the road. I shouted to the guys watching the excavation.

“Hey do you guys know when you will be finished?” I shouted from the walkway that was still open.

They all looked over and one of them shouted back. “We are not sure because there is an awful lot of work to do. We should be able to provide access by maybe 5pm.”

I thought about asking them if more than one of them working at a time might improve their performance, but thought better of it.

I got into the apartment and threw off my sweater, shorts and flip flops then proceeded to the bathroom to put some make-up on and improve the mess that was my hair. While I was at it I placed my larger breast enhancers in and put my corset on.

Here I was again, beginning to enjoy putting girl’s clothes on in an empty apartment with all of my girly clothes and the clothes of 3 other girls right next door with no one around. I could find this predicament most enjoyable in other circumstances, but I was in a rush to get back to school and get to my next class and had no time to enjoy it.

I put on my dress on, picked up my back pack and headed to class. I had a feeling I was going to be late but there is only so much a girl can do in 90 minutes.

I walked on down the road but stopped when I got to the big hole in the road. All of the people standing above the whole just looked at me. I shouted down the hole.

“Hey big guy!” He stopped what he was doing, turned around and looked at me.

I said, “Do any of these guys ever get in the hole and help you?”

He just shook his head. I looked back at the squadron with my arms wide open. They looked at me but nobody moved. I turned and walked towards the school.

I got to the Grover Cleveland Hall about 4 minutes late. The door was closed but the sign on it still read Math 101 Introduction to Analysis. Professor Lisa McClelland. Just what I didn’t need. I wondered; would she would try to embarrass me today?

I walked in and looked for a friendly face. I didn’t see one close by, so I located a row that no one else had occupied and headed for it.

The room turned quiet as made my way to my seat. Professor McClelland waited till she had everyone’s attention before she spoke.

“Glad you could join us Miss Haigt!”

It was a mundane opening, but it did put her on the offensive. I didn’t know if I should reply or not. I decided to be polite.

“Good afternoon Professor McClelland,” I replied.

“Please stand up when you address the room miss Haigt,” she said. So I stood up.

“Can you tell us the importance of being on time for my lectures Miss Haigt?”

“Tardiness wastes the valuable time of the other class members Miss.”

“Very true! And are there any other risks that a person may take when entering my classes late Miss Haigt?”

“Yes Miss,” I replied. “A person may run the risk of being embarrassed by you upon entrance to the room.”

“Are you embarrassed Miss Haigt?” she asked. I had a choice to make here. I was not at all embarrassed but if I told her that, it may seem like a challenge.

“Yes Miss.” I lied.

“Good,” she said. “Now please tell us why you chose today to be late for my class?”

Not a bad question but I kind of expected it. “I didn’t choose today to be late Miss, but a series of things that I did not plan for contributed to my having to move my car from the Dean of Admissions parking area and returning it to my apartment, but I was not aware that the road to my apartment was blocked by road works.

The resulting effort to find a way to my apartment from another direction resulted in my tardiness, for which I sincerely apologize Miss.”

“How unfortunate for you,” she said. She wasn’t going to make herself popular with me by making that kind of remark.

“Thank you Miss Haigt and can you please inform the class what steps you will take to remove the likelihood of you wasting their time in the future.”

‘Oh that was a good one.’ I thought to myself. The first challenging question she had asked in our exchanges so far. I had to scramble for an answer.

“I will endeavor plan my activities with greater detail and certainly try not to pack in too much into an already short lunch period Miss.”

“An already short lunch period Miss Haigt. How much food do you eat?”

OK so she got one good lick in that I couldn’t answer but I didn’t feel too badly beaten.

She had hardly embarrassed me at all but I am sure neither of us was concerned by the exchange. We got on with the class and my mind often wondered off thinking what the Rainbow Club would be like. It wouldn’t be too long before I found out.

She's sweeter than all the girls and I've met quite a few.
Nobody in all the world can Do what she can do.
And so I'm telling you this time you better stop
For I have got another girl,
Another girl
The Beatles

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way.Chapter 8.

Blow me one last kiss. Wednesday afternoon September 11th.

Flat top McClelland’s class went off without anything else interesting happening, but as soon as the class was over Connie and Caroline wanted to talk to me about the show on Monday.

We walked towards the cafeteria and grabbed a table near the Bistro. We had a half hour break before our 4:30 Geometry class so we may as well get a snack or something.

“What happened to you Leslie,” asked Connie. “We haven’t seen you and we don’t have your number.”

“I thought we had exchanged numbers. I’m sorry Connie but I had things to do. Anyway, what happened to you two? Did you enjoy the show?” I asked.

“We did,” said Caroline. “You were amazing. All of the men couldn’t keep their eyes off you. What did Lawrence do, or should I say what did you do with Lawrence?”

“Listen girl’s I want this to stay between us.” I tempered myself with the understanding that if I said anything to them it could be all around the college by tomorrow. “Yes I did kiss him. He is very sweet and I could get a crush on him if I am not careful, but I can’t date him.”

“What, why?” They both wanted to interrupt at the same time so I cut them off.

“Because he is gorgeous and handsome and all of the things that would make me want to concentrate on him instead of my work. I am here to get a math degree.”

“But just dating him won’t hurt you. No one said you have to become his sex slave or anything,” said Connie.

“But I can’t lose control Connie. After 10 minutes in his arms I became a helpless heap of incoherent jelly. The following morning I realized that I can’t allow that to happen to me. He is an experience man and I feel like a little child in his arms.”

“Have you told him this?” asked Caroline.

“We have spoken a couple of times since.” I told them. “I told him we can be friends but he is not allowed to hit on me or try to kiss me or I won’t let him near me.”

“That sounds cruel,” said Connie. “He is going to see you in class every day knowing that you like each other but he can’t touch you.”

“I think that is being honest and upfront. I can’t let hormones run my life. But let’s not my hormones dominate the conversation. What have you two been up to?”

“Well Vic walked us both back to our rooms after your show. “

“Cool,” I said. “Any kissing going on?”

“Well we dropped me off first and Vic took Connie back to hers.”

“Nothing happened,” said Connie. “He is sweet but I could never see myself with a big dorky white guy.”

“He is not dorky,” I said. “And what is wrong with being white?”

“Well he is just so different,” said Connie. “I can’t imagine him and my Dad standing together for a photograph. I just think of two opposing magnets. You try to push them together but they just want to push each other away. Vic is so white and my Dad is so black.”

“You have been putting some serious thought into this I can see,” said Caroline. “I thought you said you were not interested.”

“But he is the only guy I have spoken to that I could be remotely interested in,” said Connie. “And he is the only guy who has spoken to me nicely so far.”

“There will be plenty of others,” I said. “What about you Caroline. “Find anyone interesting yet?”

“Well I spoke to Dave and Jesus at lunch time here in the Cafeteria. Dave is OK but he smokes so he will never get anywhere with me?” she said sternly. “Jesus is an interesting guy and offered to take me dancing, and I find that really interesting.”

“That Salsa dancing sounds really cool and sexy,” I said. Connie agreed.

“My Dad goes ballroom and Salsa dancing back home,” she said. ‘He says it’s a great way to meet people. He says that the younger generations are missing something when we don’t have slow dances and hold each other in our arms.”

“How does he go Ballroom and Salsa dancing on his own?” I asked.

“Well he joined a dancing club and puts his name down on the list as a single male looking for a partner describing what level he is at any what type of stuff he likes to do.”

“Sounds like a swingers club to me!” I said. “Does he ever stay out late when he does this?”

“That’s mean Leslie. I always think of him as too old for that type of thing.”

“That is not mean at all,” I told her. “Remember Brad Pitt is 49 and George Clooney is 52. Would you like to swing with them?”

“They are both older than my Dad. Isn’t that creepy?” She said.

“I have made it with guys in their 40’s,” said Connie. “Well one guy actually. Living on an air force base there are lots of fit young men around just waiting for the opportunity to meet women.”

“So you just took advantage of one did you?” I asked.

“I was very flattered when this big strong muscle bound well-mannered man came after me,” said Connie. “All he did was ask me about myself, tell me I was attractive and look into my eyes while I was talking. I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t know he was the same age as my Dad until later. I hope my Dad never finds out. They know each other.”

“Oh you brazen hussy!” I added.

“What’s a brazen hussy?” said Caroline.

“Look it up on Google,” I said. “Some of the explanations can be really funny.”

“So do you have any plans for tonight Leslie?” said Connie. “Providing we don’t get and assignments we have to complete by tomorrow.”

“I am going out with a friend of mine from the apartment. I can’t invite anyone because I don’t know what she has planned.”

I didn’t want to lie further to them but I couldn’t complicate things by having them there too.

“You guys should come over to the Coffee Hutch again tomorrow as Fiona and I are playing.”

“Are you going to eat there first?” said Caroline.

“You know that is a good idea, because me and Fiona get free food on days that we play. Tomorrow is my turn to cook at the apartment but I will see what I can arrange. Do you have my number?” I asked.

They didn’t so we exchanged numbers. While I had my phone out I texted Fiona about coming to the Coffee Hutch at 7pm a for free dinner.

We left the cafeteria and I stopped in the powder room on the way past but Lawrence was waiting for me when I got outside.

“Leslie,” he was asking while we were walking. “I hope you don’t mind me being curious but this morning you looked really pretty with make-up and everything and again this afternoon, but when I saw you at lunchtime you looked different. No make-up and a sweater. It there something I am missing?”

“Probably,” I replied. “But I have no intention of telling you what it is. It’s my business.”

“Your business to what?”

Fortunately there was not enough time for him to develop his line of questioning further before we got to the next classroom. He did sit next to me in class though. Although we didn’t talk through the class, except as required by the class.

I get the feeling that he was spending a lot of time trying to figure that one out. I also spent some considerable time trying to come up with a believable lie to cover it, but I couldn’t. It was a preposterous situation. The only reasonable answer was the truth, and I was not prepared for that yet.

As soon as the class was over Lawrence was politely after me again.

“But Leslie, there isn’t one single plausible reason that I can come up with for you to do what you did at lunchtime, change you appearance, go to the bookstore, then change back again.”

I had had enough of this already and I had to put a stop to it. I grabbed hold of his shirt and stopped him I looked right into his face.

“Lawrence I am not going to allow you to continually question me about my personal business that has nothing to do with you. I may decide to tell you some time or I may not, so drop it now or I may never let you speak to me again.”

“Can I walk you to your apartment?” he asked.

“Who says I am going to my apartment?”

“So can I walk you wherever you are going?”

“Yes, provided you don’t try to hit on me, kiss me or ask me any questions about lunchtime.”

“So where are you going?”

“To my apartment.”

“I am not upsetting you am I,” he asked.

“Just a little, but I don’t mind tolerating you because you are a nice person and I like the company.”

“So are you doing anything interesting tonight?” he asked.

“I am going out with my friend MJ,” I replied.

“Isn’t she the butch one?”

“She appears that way but she has been hurt before and doesn’t want to conform to the same old female stereotypes.”

“So are you saying she is not really butch?”

“I am undecided about that, except to say that although she has a wicked sense of humor and an abrasive outer shield, but sometimes she can be very sweet and sensitive, once you get to know her.”

“So you like her?”

“Yes she is a friend.”

“Have you kissed her yet?” he asked.

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him.

“What on earth are you doing Lawrence?” I asked him. “Are you trying to piss me off?”

“I am trying to find out who you are.”

“Right now this is who I am Lawrence. That’s all I can offer you.”

“So who were you at lunch time?”

“That is enough Lawrence. I can’t give you anything else. I told you I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want these questions. If you can’t accept that then leave me along. I can walk by myself.”

I took off and started walking. I thought I had left him behind but after a few seconds he caught up. We walked in silence for a little while till I asked him a question.

“So why do you want to hang around with me anyway?”

“I have never met a girl anything like you. You seem like this immovable force that can do anything. I know you are only small but you seem to dominate any space you are in and every conversation everywhere you go and you just light up every room.”

‘Goodness above’ I thought. This sounds like hero worship. Was he falling in love with me? We had only met 3 days ago.

“You can’t have me Lawrence and I think that the longer I allow you to spend time around me it’s going to get worse. I thing you need go find another girlfriend and get over me.”

“I don’t want to get over you.”

“Why can’t you go and talk to Caroline. I know she said she likes you. She would make a great girlfriend for you and she wouldn’t run away when you kiss her.”

“But I don’t want her I want you.”

“Lawrence you have a crush. Its caused but the hormone imbalance that all young people like us have in us and we made it worse when we kissed. I discussed it with my sisters and they explained the hormone thing to me and that helped me get through it.”

“You mean you felt it too?”

“I can’t take this any more Lawrence. You are causing a conflict in me that I don’t want to address. I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want to discuss it so please just leave me alone.”

I turned on my heels and turned away from him. I don’t think he was following. I just kept on going.

Yes it was hard for me, but I had to sort myself out. Now that I knew he had gone I could start crying but the last thing I needed right now was a helpless puppy to look after no matter how sweet he was.

The sun was going down now and the nights were drawing in but the streetlights had yet to come on. There was just a little coolness in the air that I could feel on by bare arms. I would have to wear a jacket this evening.

As I got the Coffee Hutch there were a group of people outside the door talking. I didn’t look over but as I went past I heard Rebecca’s Voice.

“Leslie hold up.”

I turned and she came over to me. She could see I was upset.

“Whatever is the matter Leslie?” she asked.

“Boy trouble.”

“But I didn’t think you had a boyfriend.”

“I don’t,” I said. “But there is this one guy who has been really nice to me and I made the mistake of kissing him.”

“That’s the one that your sister Dawn mentioned?”

“Yes. He has obviously got a crush on me.”

“Do you like him?”

“He is nice enough but I have told him that I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want to kiss boys.”

Then she leaned over and kissed me deeply on the lips. I was shocked. It was not just a friendly peck. It was delicious but it just didn’t last long enough.

“But you don’t mind kissing me?” said Rebecca.

“Oh I would much rather be kissing you!” I said.

“So what are you doing tonight?”

“MJ wants to take me to the Rainbow Club. I said I would go and meet a couple of her friends.”

“Pity,” she said. “So I will have to wait till tomorrow to see you.”

“Sorry Rebecca. I will have to wait too,” I said.

“So when you are at the Rainbow Club you are going to get hit on you know.”

“So I have been told.”

“Just tell them you’re not interested. Tell them you have a girlfriend.”

“Uhh OK,” I said.

Then she held up her hand to my face for a moment and looked into my eyes, and went back to the people at the door.

I wanted to stand and look at her for a moment but there were too many people around. I walked down the road towards the apartment.

She had kissed me on the lips. I know it was getting dark but the people outside the restaurant must have seen us. Then she said tell them you have a girlfriend. That was it. She definitely wanted me. That couldn’t be explained away as being nice or over friendly.

She was my girlfriend. I was shocked. Why the hell was I going to spend the evening with MJ when I could have been with Rebecca? But it was too late now. I wasn’t going back on my plans now.

As I got to the apartment Rebecca texted me to tell me we had a meeting of the dramatic society tomorrow lunch time. I didn’t know where I was going to have time for all of these extra-curricular activities I seemed to be acquiring.

I got into the apartment and found the girls getting ready to eat hamburger and spinach salad.

“What no fries?” I said.

“Fries go straight to your waistline,” said Angie.

“Come on Angie,” I said. “Don’t tell me you have ever had problems with your waistline.”

“I don’t want to ever start,” said Angie. “My Mom taught me that as we get into our twenties our bodies start adjusting and before we know it we can start to add pounds. One day you wake up to find you have a roll of fat hanging over the waist of your favorite jeans.”

“Oh God,” I said. “Now I have to start worrying about my weight?”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Angie. “Just be aware of it.”

“I am aware that a second hamburger would go down pretty good right about now,” said MJ.

“One is all you get MJ,” said Angie. “Load up on that beautiful fresh Spinach.”

“Don’t let it worry you Leslie,” said MJ. “We can get some wings at the Rainbow Club.”

“Cool,” I said. “Then I won’t go hungry for long.”

“Why do I bother?” said Angie.

“So how long will it take you to get ready Leslie?”

“Oh about 5 minutes after I have finished eating,” I said. “You are not going out dresses like that are you?”

MJs tee shirt today said. ‘To save time just pretend I have balls.’

“No I will keep my promise. I found a dress I can wear,” said MJ. “It will take me 10 or 15 minutes to get ready. I have to remember how these things work.”

“What’s happening with you Carla,” I asked. “You are kind of quiet.”

“I am wondering what goes on at a rainbow club,” said Carla.

“Why don’t you came with us and find out?”

“I don’t want to go to a place were a bunch of guys hang out dressed like showgirls and singing Celine Deon song.”

“I am told that doesn’t happen till the weekend,” I said. “Why don’t you just come with us and check it out? We will all feel safer in a crowd.”

“OK for sure, I will get ready. What about you Angie?’

“No you can tell me all about it. Maybe I will go some other time.”

So we got ready and I did my favorite thing of adding leggings under my dress and added my short denim jacket. Carla was wearing jeans and a low cut black tank top that showed up how much shape she really had, and boy did she have some shape. Now we were just waiting for MJ.

Then this girl came out of MJs room that we didn’t hardly recognize. MJ was wearing a short grey leather skirt well above the knee with a soft blue layered low cut top and she was wearing make-up and looking pretty sharp, even though she had no shoes.

“Well look at you,” said Carla. “There is a girl under there after all.”

“You look pretty MJ,” I said. I could have said she looked hot because she did, but I chose not to say it. “What brought this on?”

“I just wanted to show you guts that I can look good too if I want to. You know I do feel a little peeved at times when the three good looking girls in this apartment include a boy and not me.”

“OK MJ we will consider ourselves corrected,” said Carla.

“You can’t be jealous of me MJ?” I said. “We knew you were good looking all along.”

“Thank you Leslie. I am not jealous but I do have my pride. But I have a problem with this outfit that I need help with. I don’t have shoes I can wear with a skirt. Even I know not to wear my normal skateboard shoes.”

“If you like these gladiator shoes I have another pair in a six,” I said.

“Sold,” said MJ.

I got the shoes for MJ and we headed down the stairs, on to the street and into MJs car.

----------------------------------------

I think I’ve finally had enough,

I think I maybe think too much

I think this might be it for us

Blow me one last kiss

You think I’m just too serious,

I think you’re full of shit

My head is spinning so

Blow me one last kiss

Pink
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jNlIGDRkvQ

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 9.

Let’s hear it for the boy. Wednesday evening September 11th.

-------------------

So we headed for the Rainbow club. Carla sitting next to MJ who was driving and me in the back. Didn’t take us long, but we were still a little shell shocked when got there because MJ liked playing Pink at full volume. Not a bad sound system for an old minivan.

The Rainbow Club was attached to what used to be a Howard Johnsons or something similar. The big restaurant that was attached to the motel had been divided off from the motel that was still there, but obviously without a restaurant. The entrance was around the side and not very visible from the road but the entrance was well lit when we got to it. Of course there were rainbow flags hanging above the doors.

Near the front door was an area with booths and tables. In the center ahead of us was a bar area that looked like it used to be a coffee bar and behind that there was an open area with a stage at the rear, not being used right now. There was some pop must playing in the background. Ke$ha I think.

MJ took us over to the bar and introduced us to Davey who manages the bar most nights. He was an ordinary looking guy in his 40s with a beard and wearing glasses. To me ordinary was a surprise as I didn’t know what to expect in a LGBT friendly club. I thought people would be somehow different but everyone I was just normal. We got some drinks, cokes and stuff that is, and drifted over to the area where the booths are.

There were some hoots and hollers where some of the people in the booths was us.

“Look what they have done with MJ,” someone shouted.

“That’s not MJ its Katy Perry,” said another.

“Quit it you gorillas,” said MJ. “A girl can look attractive if she wants to can’t she? I am giving support to my two friends here who don’t want to be the only people who look normal.

“But we look normal don’t we,” said one of the girls in the booth nearest to us.

They did all look normal to me anyway. They were all different in their own way. They were different sizes and shapes.

So what is normal anyway? Some people wear odd colors in their hair, tattoos and piercings. This is normal. All the people here looked like the other college kids I was going to class with. None of them were wearing dresses or low cut tops like us but apart from that there was no difference.

“That’s my fault,” said MJ. “I was telling them about the trannies who come at the weekends and I guess I got carried away with the descriptions. Some people have strange ideas about LGBT clubs and I added fuel to the fire by saying they were going to get hit on and stuff.”

“You’re the one who is going to get hit on wearing those clothes MJ,” said a tallish (taller than me) good looking blond guy with pale clear skin who stood up and came over to us and gave MJ a hug.

“Hi Paul,” said MJ. “I am going to introduce my two friends from College then you can all introduce yourselves.”

“This is Carla who is the girl I have been sharing the apartment for the last year.” Carla waved and Paul shook her hand.

“And this is Leslie who has just moved into our apartment.”

“Do you want to come sit with us?” said Paul. “The girls here have filled up their booths so unless you want to sit in a booth on your own, you will be welcome at our table.”

“Cool said MJ.” So we followed Paul into the booth. There was already a big guy sitting at one entrance to the booth and he didn’t look like it was easy for him to get in and out, so he stayed put. We got in first Paul then MJ, me then Carla.

“This is Bob, another friend of ours,” We did the intro thing. Bob was a big round-faced guy who couldn’t be here for the cross dressing that was obvious.

“So what brings you girls here tonight? There’s usually not much goes on here Wednesdays,” said Paul.

“Leslie here wanted to come speak to some of the people here about their experiences and stuff.”

“And what kind of experiences are you interested in Leslie?” said Paul.

“Cross dressing in particular and maybe transgender.”

“So what subject are you taking Leslie?” asked Paul.

“Mathematics,” I said.

It became obvious to me that MJ was holding herself back from saying anything but she obviously wanted me to say it.

“I am sorry Leslie but I am having difficulty understanding what why a pretty young girl studying math at college would be interested in talking to cross-dressers enough to visit an LGBT club.”

“I have my reasons,” I said.

“But if you want to talk to me about cross dressing then I want to understand why?”

“So you are a cross-dresser then?”

“Yes I am and so is Bob, but why should we speak to you about it? I am not going to tell some stranger who walks in off the street my life story just because they said they were interested in cross dressers.”

There goes my theory about Bob not being a cross-dresser.

Now Bob spoke for the first time. “Why notPaul?” said Bob. “You have told your life story to lots of people who were interested without knowing anything about them. That is how we met if I remember.”

“And if I remember,” said Paul. “You were wearing a dress at that time and you sounded a lot friendlier than you do now.”

“So were you,” said Bob. “You were telling your life story to anyone who would listen that night. 2 glasses of wine and you can’t shut her up,” he said turning to us and using a noticeable gay inclination to his words.

“That’s different,” said Paul. “I was in with a group of like-minded people who share the same interests.”

“Like wearing dresses?” I asked.

“Sure,” he said. “Like wearing dresses.”

“Well I like wearing dresses too,” I said.

“But that’s different. You’re a girl,” he said.

“What makes think that?”

“Don’t mess with, me you are obviously a girl.”

The ‘girl’ side of the table were all noticeable smiling in anticipation now.

“MJ,” I said. “How many girls are there sat at this table?’

“Two,” she said, starting to giggle.

“Will all the girl’s at this table please put your hand up?” I said, leaving my hands down.

Carla and MJ waved their hands.

“You are kidding aren’t you,” said Paul and then sat there with him hands on his cheeks and his mouth open.

“Oh my god,” said Bob. “You look amazing. You look just like a regular good looking girl. How on earth do you manage that?”

“I just look like this.” I said. “I got my hair done, put on some make-up and put on a dress.”

“You make me so jealous,” said Bob. “Paul can pass pretty good but I have to work for hours to make myself look the slightest bit feminine.”

“So did you just decide to dress and come see what this club was about?” said Paul.

“Oh you won’t believe this.” Said MJ. “She came to our apartment dressed in pants and a jacket looking for an apartment. Of course our apartment is women’s only. Leslie didn’t know that. We thought she was a girl.”

“You mean she was dressed as a boy and you thought she was a girl you mean.”

“You bet. We thought she just dressed badly or she was a little butch, but she was actually just a boy come to the wrong apartment.”

“Why was it the wrong apartment?” said Bob.

“Because it’s a girl’s only building and Leslie is a boy,” said Carla.

“They thought I was a girl because normally the college will only send girl’s to girl’s apartment buildings, and I thought ‘this is cool. I am going to share an apartment with 3 girls’,” I said. I explained the suitcase full of clothes, the call from the dean of admissions and the whole story.

“Cool,” said Bob. “So now you get to share an apartment with 3 girls and they let you dress up and they go out with you?”

“Oh no,” said Carla. “I am not letting a boy stay in my apartment to leave dirty dishes in the sink and leave the toilet seat up. We have Leslie staying with us.”

“But Leslie is a boy,” said Bob.

“Not while she stays with us she isn’t,” said Carla. “Leslie is a girl, goes to college as a girl and everything else.”

“You mean you are living as a full time girl,” asked Paul.

“You bet. It’s fabulous. I can wear dresses every day. I just love being a girl.”

“So what’s all the noise at this table,” said this young woman with shortish black hair with dark red streaks arranged over her eyes and very dark make-up. She was wearing black leather. She hadn’t been there when we came in.

“Hey Annie,” said MJ. “Meet two of my friends from college. This is Carla and this is Leslie. Can you guess which one is the boy?”

Annie was quite taken aback and it took her a moment to answer. She had to give us both a good looking over.

“All I can suggest is that one of you has a chest area that can’t be faked, but apart from that I would not know how to tell.”

“Are you referring to my tits?” said Carla.

“OK I will be more direct,” said Annie. “Those tits have got to be real so this one over here has to be the boy.”

“Give the girl a stuffed animal,” said MH. “Right first time.”

“You look amazing. There is no way I would have suggested you could be a boy without you telling me.” Said Annie.

“Look, can you girls let Annie in?” said Paul. “She is my girlfriend and wants to sit by me.”

“I don’t need to sit by you. I will sit by Carla and these terrific tits,” said Annie.

“I can’t believe how you just look like a regular girl,” said Annie to me. “Most of the cross-dressers around here have to work quite hard to look like a girl. They usually wear clothes and make-up to make themselves stand out.”

“But I go to college like this so I can’t stand out. I have to look normal,” I said.

“So you are almost full time as a girl. So you must be transitioning?”

“No. I only started doing this on Sunday. It was a surprise to me too.”

I had to explain the story again from the beginning.

“So you never cross-dressed before this week,” said Annie.

“No that is not true,” I told her. “My sisters used to dress me in girls clothes when I was little and right up till I was 8 or 9, I loved it, and then after that I used to dress up in their clothes when they weren’t looking, but they told me they knew all along.”

“But what about now?” said Paul. “You are a boy, but every day you go to school as a girl. You can’t believe how jealous that make me feel. All through my teens I would hide myself away. My Dad would never accept me wanting to be a girl and my Mom didn’t help me. She just didn’t tell Dad about me dressing and stuff.”

“Paul struggles with wanting to be a girl every day,” said Annie. “He just isn’t prepared to split himself off from his family because his Dad has said he would not accept it.”

“My family doesn’t know yet. Well my closest sister Fiona knows. We are just like identical twins although she is older by about a year. My sister Dawn I told yesterday. I agreed to let her tell my Mom and Dad before I go home on Friday. My Mom and Dad and my other sister Barbara don’t know yet.”

“So what do you think they will say?”

“I know I am lucky that my family loves me and I have no doubts about that, but what they will say is anyone’s guess. I expect my Mom to cry because that is what she does. Happy or sad she just cries. My Dad is a cool dude but who can say how he will react to his only son becoming a girl.”

“They had some forewarning. Fiona tells me that they visited doctors to discuss my wearing girl’s clothes but the doctor told them I would find a way to tell them if I wanted to become a girl. My problem is that I didn’t find out myself till this week that I really wanted to be a girl, so if I didn’t know I couldn’t tell them.”

“At least they knew when you were younger that you liked dressing so it’s not a complete surprise?”

“No I don’t think it’s a surprise,” I said. “Just an adjustment. We have other family and friends who might find it hard to take but I doubt it. My Mom and Dad’s friends are mostly musicians with a few real estate agents thrown in. I don’t remember any homophobia.”

“Homophobia is difficult to predict,” said Bob. “You may think you know someone for years and think they are a friend, but just mention cross dressing or being gay tolerant and become different people. My brother and I have a hard time speaking now because he has seen me dressed and didn’t like it.”

Paul grabbed Bob’s arm as a sign of friendship as non of the girls could reach him across the table.

“So have you told the college,” asked Annie.

“Well there is the thing. During this apartment mix-up the dean’s office called because that thought Leslie should have been a boy but they saw our apartment registration showing Leslie as a girl. We assured the Dean’s office that she was a girl because of the girl’s clothes that we found in her room.”

“But you would think they would check with your old school,” said Paul.

“Maybe they will,” I said. “I will just have to deal with that later.”

“How come you say most of you Mom and Dad’s friends are musician?” said Paul.

“We are all musicians in my family,” I said.” “We all play at least one instrument and we jam together on Saturday nights.”

“So that instrument do you play Leslie?”

“I play guitar, why?”

“Because I just happen to have a couple of guitars with me,” said Paul.

“Do you want to play?”

“Sure I do. Let’s go!”

“We got up and the group of us went to the other room where the stage was. We all got up and there just happened to be a set of drums that Bob got behind, an electric guitar and amp (I am guessing a Mexican black top telecaster HH in white) and an acoustic guitar case that Paul pulled a Yamaha FGX700SC from. It was a cheap Yamaha but cheap Yamaha’s can sound pretty good from my experience. I picked it up and Paul plugged me into the PA.

“We can’t have it too loud but the boss doesn’t mind us playing provided we play songs and don’t make it sound too much like a practice.”

So we discussed what to play and settled with Neil Young’s ‘Down by the river’ because it was easy to jam to.

Paul started the chords on his Tele then Bob and I joined in. Once I got going Paul played some of the lead riffs and then he sang the first verse and chorus. I sand harmony for the chorus.

Be on my side,
I'll be on your side,
There is no reason
For you to hide
It's so hard for me
Staying here all alone
When you could be
Taking me for a ride.

Yeah, she could drag me
Over the rainbow,
Send me away
Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.

After we just jammed for about five minutes which is pretty much what Neil Young does. The words seem secondary to the jamming on a few of Neil Young’s songs. We took turns playing lead and had a good old time. Them we did the verse and chorus again before finishing with another couple of minutes jam.

Paul then asked me to pick something so I picked the ‘Every little thing she does is magic’ by The Police, which has a more distinct formula to it and didn’t leave much time to jam, but we had fun. I played chords all the way through and Paul was able to add some nice riffs. I sang the whole thing but Paul joined in the singing at the end.

We played for an hour and the boss came over and offered us some drinks. I told him I was under age but somehow a glass of wine managed to find its way to me and a couple of beer went Paul and Bob’s way.

We started with the stage curtains closed but someone opened them in the middle of the first song. There were normally no chairs right in front of the stage but a few people had brought chairs down to the stage to listen. We didn’t have it loud but you could hear us all over the club.

After that we played for another half an hour before Carla started making noises about getting back. It was 11pm, but before we finished we played some stuff that people could dance to and had a few people dancing.

We packed up the stuff and closed the curtains then moved over to the bar area. Davey the manager put the recorded music back on and groups of people were talking. Carla didn’t want to stay any long so she got a cab back to the apartment.

MJ got busy talking to her friends and I got talking to people at the bar. They were all very friendly. There was one guy who was paying me a lot of attention. He was obviously in his twenties, a little taller than me but I was wearing heels. He had longish black slightly wavy hair over his ears and touching his shoulders at the back. It was shinny but not greasy. He was clean shaven and smelled of musk aftershave. He was wearing a dark long sleeved dress shirt and jeans.

We talked about music and after a while I noticed that other people we had been talking to had moved away.

“You are very attractive you know!” he said kind of out of the blue.

“Thank you,” I said. “You look pretty nice too.”

“You want to get out of here?” he said.

“Not so fast,” I said. “I didn’t come here to get laid.”

“So if you did get laid it would be a bonus then?” he said.

“We haven’t met yet. My name is Leslie.”

“My name id Eden,” he said then he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Very nice to meet you and I really enjoyed your music,” he said.

“You know I am a boy?” I said.

“Yes,” he said. “So am I. Does that bother you?”

“It doesn’t bother me that you are a boy no. But I am new to this.”

“How new” he asked.

“Like I have never dated a boy, new.”

“That is really new. I would be very gentle with you and you would have a really good time.”

“I don’t even know if I am gay,” I said.

“Give me five minutes in the back of my car and we will both find out if you are gay.”

“Tempting offer but I am not ready for this. Sometime soon I may be but not right now.”

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

“Kissing is as far as I can go right now,” I said. “But it will have to be right here in the bar. I am not going outside with you.”

He grabbed my hand and made me stand facing him then he placed his other hand around my waist and pulled me towards him a little.

This was going to different to kissing Lawrence by about a million miles. Kissing Lawrence was an innocent girl kisses boy for the first time kind of a kiss. This was a lot different.

I knew that he knew that I was a boy and he still wanted me, and I knew he could have me if I just walked outside with him. I didn’t move and he was staring me right in the eyes. I was now going to let a boy kiss me.

I wasn’t 100% sure I knew what I was doing and because he hadn’t kissed me yet I decided that I should pull away, then in the instant of that thought, he pulled me to him and kissed me and I returned the kiss. He tasted good and clean with just a little whisky on his breath. There was just a hint of electricity and wave of pleasure radiated from my mouth through my body and settled in my lower parts.

This was a real kiss with intent to have sex. His tongue was all over mine bringing me ripples of pleasure radiating down my spine. He had one hand in the middle of my lower back pressing me into him, the other was between my but cheeks trying to excite me more. I felt a serious erection growing. Mine that is.

It took all my willpower to pull away, but I did.

It took him a moment to catch his breath then he said. “That was beautiful, but you are definitely gay. If you were just curious you would never let me do that. So you have never kissed a boy before?” he asked.

“I didn’t say that. I have kissed a boy before, but he thought I was a girl. I realized I couldn’t do that because it was deception. You are the first boy I have kissed that knew I was a boy.”

“I feel honored. Can we do it again?”

I didn’t answer so he took that as a yes. He put his hand back around my waist and kissed me deeply and his tongue touched mine, but then I felt his other hand reach around the front of my skirt between my legs. He got a definite feel of what he was looking for before I could pull back and push his hand away.

When he stepped back he was smiling. “I am sorry for that,” he said. “But I had to know if you were a real boy. You just look so much like a normal girl and you even kiss like a girl. I hope I didn’t offend you. If it was a massive misjudgment on my part I am sorry.”

“Surely you didn’t need to do that. You must have met many people here who can easily pass a woman, what makes me so different?”

“It’s your style. No one I know would ever come here wearing the clothes that you are wearing trying to look like the sweet young women that you do. They all seem to want to look darker or older. Some of them like to look positively trashy and others want to look like showgirls. I have never seen anyone pull off the sweet innocent look like you quite so well.”

“Maybe I should wear something a little different next time I come here?”

“You could, but you would still be sexy as hell I bet.”

“So when do you normally come in here?” I asked.

“I don’t have a set time or day. I certainly don’t normally come in here on Wednesdays, but tonight I guess I am just lucky. If you wanted me meet me here we could make a date.”

“No I am not ready for that, but thanks for the offer. I can’t plan too far ahead myself, but I had fun tonight and maybe I could come here again next week.”

“Then maybe I might come here next week too and maybe I might see you here.”

“That might sound like a plan,” I said. Then I kissed him again, but only briefly. He turned and left.

I walked from the bar over to the booths were MJ was sitting with her friends.

“So what was that about Leslie? He was all over you. Has your true nature finally come out?” asked MJ.

“I don’t exactly know what it was about,” I said. “He wanted to kiss me and I wanted to find out what it was like to kiss a boy who knew I was a boy.”

“He wanted to do a lot more, we could tell. So why did you stop there?”

“MJ we have talked about this. He wanted real sex. Boy on boy. I don’t know how I feel about that.”

“How can you not know Leslie? He had his hands in places that made me embarrassed, but you didn’t stop him.”

“But sex with a boy involves penetration. I know that much MJ. Who should be penetrating who and what does it feel like. I don’t know these things and while the invite was tempting, I didn’t have a clue what I would do when I got there.”

“Well those things I can’t help you with Leslie. My experiences with men were not the best moments of my life and even if they were I doubt they would be of much use to you. You should probably watch some gay sex videos or something.”

“But sex videos are not real life MJ. They are entertainment only.”

Well maybe you should read some gay literature or something, or better you find a nice boy and try it out. Eden seems to be a nice enough guy, but he doesn’t seem to have long term relationships. He seems to have a thing with someone for a short time then moves on to someone else.”

“That’s not the kind of relationship I want MJ. I would want something more permanent.”

“I didn’t think you wanted any kind of relationship. But he may be just waiting to meet the right person. You may be the other half of his dreams. And how do you know unless you try?”

“I am not even prepared to try it out right now. I have to get my head straight and figure out what I want. I promised to spend some time with Rebecca tomorrow. We might have something going on, I am not sure.”

“Bi-sexual they call it. Making it with both sexes.”

“Well actually that would make me no sexual right now MJ. I haven’t had sex with anyone remember.”

The conversation went a little quiet after that remark. I think MJ was considering something.

“You were mentioning I might meet a councilor here tonight,” I reminded her. “Is there someone here I can talk to?”

“Not tonight Leslie, but I did get you the card of someone you can call and make an appointment, and there is a hotline you can call and chat.” She gave me the card and I put it away.

We made up our minds that it was time to go. It was nearly midnight. Not that we thought that was particularly late but we just didn’t have a reason to stay.

We got into the car and sat in the front. I buckled myself in and I waited for MJ to start the car, but she didn’t.

“Leslie,” she said. I turned towards her. It wasn’t totally dark as we were lit by the lights from the front of the club.

“Have you ever thought about kissing me?”

“I am sorry MJ but it never occurred to me. Why do you ask?”

I don’t know why I lied at that moment because all evening I had been noticing how kissable she looked.

“Well I know that you have now kissed a boy who thought you were a girl, and you have kissed a boy who knows you are a boy but you have never kissed a girl who knows you are a boy. I just thought I would give you the offer.”

“Why are you asking me this MJ? I didn’t think you liked boys.”

“I don’t normally,” said MJ. “I think most boys are assholes, but if there has ever been a boy that I wanted to kiss, it would be you. I find you wildly attractive.”

“I am shocked MJ,” I said. “But I don’t know if this is a good idea. You know about all of the other things going on in my life right now.”

“I don’t know if it’s a good idea either, I only know that you are the only boy that I have really been attracted to like forever. Nobody else would need to know.”

“But I would know MJ. I am hoping to develop a relationship with Rebecca.”

“But you were kissing Eden tonight. Why can’t you kiss me? I won’t tell anyone. I won’t make it obvious. I won’t even look at you back at the apartment. You can trust me.”

“It’s not a case of trusting you MJ. I have been kissing far too many people. I am totally confused right now. I want to let you kiss me but I know I shouldn’t.”

With that MJ made her move across the division between the seats and planted herself on me before I could stop her. I guess she missed the ‘I know I shouldn’t’ bit. I was surprised by the beauty of her kiss. It was so different than any kiss that I have had before, that I couldn’t push her away.

She tasted really good but the experience was much sweeter than kissing a boy, but also less menacing and less frightening than kissing a boy, but no less exciting or arousing! I guess she had one knee on the floor and her leg was on my lap. Unfortunately being locked into the seatbelt stopped me from enjoying it more.

She pulled herself away from me and sat on the edge of her chair as near to me as she could.

“I am sorry I guess that was not the most comfortable position to choose,” she said, “but how was it?

“It was nice,” I said.

“Just nice,” she said. Is that all just nice?”

“It was wonderful MJ and I really enjoyed it.”

“That makes me feel better,” she said. “I am sorry to throw myself at you but I am glad you let me kiss you.”

“I couldn’t move. You let me buckle myself in before you jumped me!”

“I am sorry Leslie, but I have wanted to kiss you since yesterday. You seem so honest and straightforward, and you look so dam good.”

“So where do we go from here MJ?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe we should just go back to the apartment, get some sleep and see how we feel in the morning? I won’t make a fuss or tell anyone. I will just pretend that it never happened.”

We straightened ourselves out and MJ started driving.

“Was I any good?” She asked almost joking as she said it.

“I certainly enjoyed kissing you MJ, but don’t ask me to pass an opinion so soon. You are the first girl I have ever kissed. Were you thinking of me as a girl when you were kissing me.”

“I was thinking of you as Leslie,” said MJ, “I know what you are. You are a boy in a dress and a beautiful boy too. I was not thinking of anything but you. Will you let me kiss you again some time?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “Don’t you think this could get a little awkward with the other Carla and Angie?”

“Then we had best not tell them,” said MJ. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them, and I can keep a secret if you can.”

I didn’t answer that. It didn’t take long to get back. We walked up the stairs in silence. The others were apparently in bed. I went to go to the bathroom and she reached for my hand and squeezed it.

“Goodnight Leslie.” She said. I said goodnight back to her and went into the bathroom.

After I came out of the bathroom I got in bed and found myself feeling very tired. I wanted to think about everything that had happened but couldn’t and I drifted off to sleep, but I don’t get to fall asleep.

I hardly noticed her quietly entering the room as MJ slid quietly under the sheets besides me then put her arms around me and pulled me close to her.

“MJ you can’t do this,” I said but she didn’t back away. She climbed on top of me and kissed me. I knew I should have stopped her but I have trouble resisting when the temptation was so great, and the physical contact with her was massively welcome.

Her kiss this time was wonderfully gentle and delicate. She had climbed right on top of me with her legs either side of me. I put my arms around her to find she was wearing a T shirt and panties. I was wearing a nighty and panties and I had taken my corset off for the night.

I opened my mouth wider and slid my tongue further into her mouth to make contact with her tongue. She started making little pleasure noises so I had to stop her. I didn’t want the others to know.

As the momentum was broken momentarily she sat up upon me and pulled off her T shirt, then resumed kissing me. Her perky little breast resting on my chest and her arms were around my head. I wrapped my arms around her. She had an exquisite shape with a narrow waist and a hard body. Who would have known under all those T shirts she normally wore.

Before I understood what was happening she slid her hand between us and took hold of my semi erect penis which swelled to full capacity with her touch. I felt a pain of pleasure that I had never before experienced. No one had ever touched me there before. I couldn’t concentrate on kissing any more.

I was totally incapacitated like being shocked with a Taser. While holding on to my penis she started sliding down by body kissing me as she went. She pulled up my nightgown so she could find some skin to kiss.

I knew I should stop her, but I was at same time unwilling to resist. She lay across me now with her head resting on my stomach and her left arm was wrapped around my left leg while her right hand continued to work on my penis.

This was not going to a long drawn out encounter as I could feel pressure building within me. MJ’s head descended to envelop my penis and she started to massage the end with her tongue and lips. A few seconds were more than I could stand. I exploded into her mouth with multiple spasms that left me totally out of control. MJ remained still and consumed everything.

She continued licking and cleaning me with her tongue and mouth for a number of seconds but the pain of the pleasure became too great to handle. I had to stop her.

I had to pull away from her and curl up like a ball as I continued with waves of sensation like electricity running through my body. MJ just curled up with me and said nothing.

I remember nothing more till the middle of the night waking at the need to relieve myself. As I sat up MJ pulled me back enough for her to kiss me on the neck then she let me go. When I returned from the bathroom she had gone.

I woke in the morning alone in my bed. I couldn’t help thinking. ‘What the hell have I done now?’

Let's hear it for the boy
Aaaah, let's give the boy a hand
Let's hear it for my baby
You know you gotta understand
Oh-oh-oh, maybe he's no Romeo
But he's my loving one-man show
Whooa, whooa, whooa-oh
Let's hear it for the boy
DENIECE WILLIAMS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7FGbhpr2pg

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 10.

Little black submarines. Thursday September 12th
-
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I woke up in bed on my own after having sex with another person for the first time in my life, but I was certainly not expecting my first sexual partner to be MJ. MJ had shocked me by looking so attractive when we went out last night, then kissing me in the car while still in the parking lot and blowing me in my own bed last night. She may have planned it that way but I wasn’t complaining.

I have really enjoyed being a girl for the last few days, but I certainly enjoyed being a boy last night. I am enjoying myself so much right now I don’t see how I could give anything up.

MJ had totally surprised me as I thought she was only interested in girls. Maybe she likes me because I look like a girl? Maybe she thinks of me as a girl with a bonus? I will ask her, but only when I know the others can’t hear us.

Time was galloping along as usual and I needed to do all of the things a girl needs to do to get ready for college, but my mind kept drifting to how MJ had treated me like a boy in bed last night, if we don’t consider that I was wearing a nighty and panties that is. So I continue to be screwed up, so what’s new. Today I am happily screwed up.

After my shower I got partially dressed then went back into the bathroom to put my make-up on where there was more light. MJ followed me in wearing her sleeping tee shirt. She pulled her panties down to the floor and sat on the toilet for a pee with a silly smug smile on her face.

“Are you sure you should be doing that in front of me?” I asked.

“We are all just girl’s together here,” she said, almost daring me to disagree with her. She was talking loud enough so anyone in the kitchen could hear. “If you want to share an apartment with girls you will have to get used to it.”

I carried on putting make-up on in the mirror and when she had finished what she was doing she stood behind me facing the door and reached behind her to place a hand between my butt cheeks causing a mild jolt of shock. I dropped my mascara in the sink from the surprise. Then she left without saying anything.

The vision of the kid in the candy store came to mind, wearing a pretty dress of course. It seems I can have almost anything I want. I hope I done eat too much and make myself sick.

I got myself ready and went into the kitchen. Carla was telling Angie about our little impromptu jam session while MJ was cooking something on the stove.

“I am making myself an omelet, would anyone like one, Leslie?” said MJ.

“I would love an omelet,” I said. “Do you have any ham and cheese to put in it?

“No just green pepper, onions and olives,” said MJ. The other two expresses contentment with cereal.

“How about sausage or bacon?” I asked.

“Angie,” said MJ. “Can you remind Leslie what kind of apartment this is?”

“This is a girl’s apartment Leslie,” said Angie. “We only eat healthy foods.”

“Bummer,” I said. “An omelet without meat in it doesn’t sound right.”

“Well you are working at the Coffee Hutch today so you can go get yourself a free breakfast if you want,” said MJ.

“That reminds me ladies,” I said. “Tonight I get free dinner at the Coffee Hutch because I am entertaining. Can I entice any of you to swop a nights cooking so I can take advantage of a free meal?”

“But we three have already cooked this week and you haven’t cooked at all since you came here!” said Carla. “How are you going to balance things out, unless of course you cook next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday?”

“Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday?” I asked. “That sounds to me like punishment.”

“I suppose it might seem like punishment to you as you used to be a boy,” said Carla. “But as you are now a girl you should enjoy cooking and cleaning just as much as we do!”

“You mean you actually enjoy cooking and cleaning?” I asked.

“Yeh right!’ said MJ.

“Sure,” said Angie, “we love it so much we want to be absolutely certain that we don’t have to do your cooking and cleaning for you.”

“Which day does Leslie clean the bathroom?” said MJ.

“That was supposed to be yesterday,” said Carla.

“Oh come on,” I said. “This sounds like you are ganging up on me.”

“You are the one who wanted to come live in a girl’s only apartment. It wasn’t our idea,” said Carla. “You are now going to have to live up to your commitments. You will have to do the bathroom this evening before you go to the Coffee Hutch.”

“Ours mothers don’t sneak in here and clean up when you are out Leslie,” said Angie. “And we are certainly not going to allow this beautiful apartment to become untidy like a boys apartment. We have our pride to think of.”

“What? You don’t think boys have pride too?” I asked.

“Some of them maybe?” said MJ, but most boys are usually proud of how high they can stack the pizza boxes in their kitchens. You are a girl now so you better get used to how girls do it.”

I think MJ was giving me a hard time like the others were which must be her way of not letting anyone suspect anything.

I did notice a change in MJ’s appearance this morning. She was wearing a tighter fitting T shirt inside her jeans so you could see her shape, which by the way is a very nice shape, and she was wearing some make-up and her lips were definitely kissable again today.

I snapped myself out of that thought and asked MJ if the veggie omelet was still on offer and she said it was. But as soon as she gave it to me, and I thanked her of course, she cleaned up the pan and her plate and left me on my own with my omelet.

I do understand the way they did things, like cleaning up everything so there was never any mess for anyone else to deal with, but it just takes a little getting used to, especially since my Mom always did everything for me when I was at home.

After my omelet I cleaned up like a good girl and got ready for school. Today I was going to do something new for me as I was going to wear jeans. Not boy jeans of course but the stretchy girl’s jeans that Fiona helped me pick. I also wore a peach colored tank top with a sheer top over it. My corset was underneath everything of course.

I could tell the fit of the jeans was going to take some getting used to. There was not the same room in them for my boy’s equipment. There was a certain amount of pushing, pulling and rearranging that had to be done before things were comfortable and looked right, but that’s my problem I don’t want to trouble you with it.

I got to class early and sat by Connie and Caroline then Vic came and sat on my end of the group and Lawrence came and sat at the other end next to Caroline. They seemed happy to see each other, which I hoped would keep any attention away from me.

Vic wanted to tell me about his new piece of equipment for his guitar that he thought I might find interesting. I did but we had no time to talk before class so after class we went to the cafeteria together. The 5 of us at one small table, which was a little crowded, but they seemed to like getting close to each other.

“So we went to the Guitar Center last night and I bought a new toy to use with my guitar and amp. It’s called a looper,” said Vic. “It allows you to play a few bars then click the pedal and it plays it back to you, then you can play over it. It’s like having your own accompaniment.”

“That sounds really cool,” I said.

“I can show it to you and let you try it. What are you doing tomorrow?” asked Vic.

“I have to go home this weekend,” I said, “But maybe if we go to the music club meeting on Tuesday you could show me?”

“You are going to miss some really good activities this weekend Leslie,” said Connie. “We have already been invited to a house party at the beach and a free concert at the Washington and there is a student festival all day Sunday. You will miss it all.”

“I have to go home but it sounds like I may miss a lot of fun stuff,” I replied.

“Why do you have to go home already Leslie? You only just got here?” said Vic from across the table.

“Just some family business I have to deal with face to face.” I said.

“Your loss,” said Connie. “The four of us went together to the Guitar Center last night then we stopped somewhere on the way back for a bite. It was a fun time. So what did you do?”

“Oh my roommate MJ took me to this coffee bar where I met some people and played guitar.” I said making things up as I went along. “We had a good time too.”

“That’s cool,” said Vic. “I am up to go anywhere where I can meet people and play guitar. Will you take us?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “It was a little far for a school night. I may not go back.”

“So you don’t want us to mix with your new friends Leslie?” said Lawrence.

“It’s not that,” I said, “but I have got a lot to do and if the assignments get heavy like they say it will, I won’t have time to travel that far very often. Because of my activities this week I have already had to promise to cook next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.”

“I even have to clean the bathroom before I go to the Coffee Hutch tonight.”

“But you are going to be there for dinner at 7?” asked Caroline.

“Sure I will,” I said. “I have asked Fiona to join us and who knows who else might come.”

“Want me to come and get you Leslie so I can carry your guitar?” asked Lawrence. I didn’t want to turn him down again. He is a nice guy after all.

“Yes OK,”I said. “About 10 minutes before 7 would be good.”

He agreed and we planned for the 5 of us would have dinner together, plus Fiona and Rebecca would be 7.

At lunch time I went to a meeting of the Dramatic Society. I had arranged to go because Rebecca texted me a couple of times and I hadn’t seen enough of her these past couple of days.

It was an informal meeting in one of the engineering rooms and Anders said he would speak to us about what he had planned so far. There were about twenty people and most of them were girls.

“I have spoken and listened to most of you over the last couple of days,” said Anders. “We have planned to do a musical but as yet most of our cast volunteers as you can see are girls and I haven’t been able to find a Romeo yet.”

“I know that I have not assigned hardly any of you roles yet but I can tell you that most if not all of you will have a role of some sort, but I need to select the lead roles then assemble a cast around them.

“We need someone to play Romeo. Someone who can look like a young man and can carry a lead singing role. I have more than enough women with good voices, but I have an idea,” Anders continued.

“Leslie I am going to spring this on you, but you have a powerful voice for a women and you sing in a slightly deeper register than most. Do you think you might consider playing Romeo for us? You have shortish hair already and you certainly can sing.”

I was a little shocked and didn’t know what to say. I had only intended to give a little support for the group. I never intended to take a lead role.

“I don’t know what to say Anders,” I said.

“You don’t have to say anything now,” said Anders, “Just think about it. Most of our rehearsals will be Wednesday evenings and Saturday Morning. Just give it some thought. I don’t know if you have time to commit to the project but I hope you do. I think you could really pull it off.”

“Our next meeting will be on Saturday but I will still be in the selection process but I hope by next Wednesday I can have agreement on all of the parts and we can start with read throughs and I can show you some of the music.”

“I have one song I would like to play for you now if you all have the time.” He pulled out an iPod with some portable speakers that he plugged into the wall and played the song. It was the old Dire Straits song Romeo and Juliet. I remember some of the lyrics.

A love struck Romeo,
Sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low
With a love song that he made
Finds a street light
Steps out into the shade
Says something like
You and me babe, how about it?
Juliet says hey it's Romeo,
You nearly gave me a heart attack
He's underneath the window, she's singing
Hey la my boyfriend’s back
You shouldn't come around here
Singing up to people like that
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?

Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet, and you exploded in my heart.
And I forget, I forget, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?

When the song ended Anders continued to talk about his vision.

“I have this idea Leslie,” said Anders, “that you could play the Romeo part with a guitar hanging from your back and every once in a while you could pull out the guitar and sing some of the song.”

‘Oh Shit’ I thought to myself. He has already put a lot of thought into this and he has planned with me in mind.

Rebecca took hold of my hand while I was sitting beside her numb and bemused.

“You could do it,” she said. “You would play a wonderful part. He is right that if you tried you could look and sound like a boy. You could be wonderful.”

“I just don’t know,” I said as I sat there feeling shocked. He was asking me, a boy who was pretending to be a girl, to pretend to be a boy. How messed up was that.

“I am sure you could do it if you wanted,” said Rebecca. “You do sing differently to most other girl’s. You would make a wonderful Romeo.”

As Rebecca was trying to encourage me, Anders brought a very attractive Asian looking girl to meet me. She had classic shining black hair, beautiful pale yellow skin and big bright eyes. She was quite stunning.”

“This is Hazel,” said Anders. “I have asked her if she could play Juliet and she is considering it. I thought you should meet each other.”

“Hi Leslie,” she said offering me her hand which I took as she sat down beside me. “Anders says you have a wonderful voice. So what do you think?”

“I think you are a very beautiful woman,” I said. She held her hands to her face and blushed. I wasn’t sorry I said it. She was beautiful.

“I am very sorry for Leslie,” said Rebecca. “Leslie is one of those people who says exactly what is on her mind. It’s one of the things that I love about her.”

“I am sorry Hazel. I wasn’t trying to make you feel uncomfortable. You are just!” Rebecca cut me off.

“Leslie you are going to have to control that part of you,” said Rebecca. “Sometimes you go a little too far.”

I could tell by the inflection is Rebecca’s voice that she was not totally happy with me. I needed to make things better.

“I am Sorry Hazel,” controlling myself somewhat. “Have you done much singing or acting before,” I said trying to ignore the fact that I was staring into the eyes of yet another amazingly beautiful woman. And If I was going to play Romeo to her Juliet, I was going to get to kiss her, more than a couple of times.

“Yes I have done a few things. I am in my 4th year here and two years ago I played the lead in “Shall We Dance”, a story about Ballroom Dancing which we thought was quite successful.”

“Impressive. You dance too. Have you done any singing?” I asked.

“I did do some singing in high school and Anders assures me I could sing on stage after I sang a couple of songs for him.”

“Well I can’t say I am glad you are joining us because I haven’t said I would do it yet, but how can I say no now that I have met you?” Rebecca kicked me with her heel. It hurt.

“I believe you are playing here locally tonight. Do you mind if I come to see you.”

“Yes I am playing with my sister Fiona, and Rebecca will be there with a few of my friends. I am sure we could find you an extra chair.”

We discussed the details and she went back to speak to Anders but before she left she shook my hand again while looking me in the eyes and said, “I am very, very pleased to meet you. See you later this evening.”

I watched her walk away, and then Rebecca kicked me again.

“What was that about?” she said a little angrily. As angrily as she could in a room full of people without anyone noticing.

“What,” I said. “I only told her she was beautiful. I bet she knows it already.”

“That was a pass if ever I heard one,” said Rebecca. “I know because you did the same to me, and the way she smiled back at you could be more of a problem.”

“What I don’t get that,” I said. “What’s the problem?”

“I don’t know if I should tell you this in your already weakened state, but I suppose I have already let the cat out of the bag so far.”

She had already committed to telling me so I didn’t need to say any more. I listened to her and held her hand.

“This will make you happy,” she said. “She is lesbian. I know because I dated her.”

Now there was a revelation. Another gorgeous woman enters my life while I am dressed as a girl and she turns out to be lesbian. Coincidence or what?

“Oh my goodness,” I said. “The thought of you two in a bed together is astonishing.”

“Get rid of that thought Leslie it’s not going to happen again. We went our separate ways nearly two years ago. We have both moved on, and if you can’t get her out of your mind quickly I will be moving on again.”

“I’m sorry Rebecca; I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that sometimes I can’t control my mouth. You are the most astonishingly attractive woman I have ever set my eyes on and that hasn’t changed. I know we have only known each other for a few days but I don’t want to run the risk of losing you already.”

“Especially as we haven’t done anything with that information yet,” she said.

“What information?” I asked.

“The fact that you find me the most astonishingly attractive woman you have ever set eyes on. You haven’t done anything about it yet.”

That information took me by surprise. Had I been too slow to act? How was I supposed to know? I have never done this stuff before.

“Wow,” I said. “You think I should do something about it? I haven’t had a lot of time.”

“You haven’t had a lot of time,” she said. “But you could make up for it this evening.

“After the show?”

“Right after the show is a good time,” said Rebecca. “Just make sure you don’t let anything get in the way.”

“I will have to make sure my sister gets away OK cause she has to get back to Philly, but after that I will be all yours.”

“You make sure of it,” she reaffirmed.

Time was passing away again and we had to leave. We quickly said goodbyes and I headed back to class. Now I really had something to look forward to.

The afternoon class passed without incident, but I picked up an assignment that needed to be completed by Monday. I knew something about that subject already so research would be easy, just a little time consuming.

I got back to the apartment and got straight into cleaning the bathroom. Angie was around to help me with what cleaners to use and give me a few hints. It wasn’t so bad cleaning up after girls, apart from the odd bra or pair of panties lying around. I am sure it wouldn’t have been so easy cleaning up after boys.

While I was cleaning Angie took some of my laundry and washed it. Just added a few things to hers is all and it didn’t take any extra effort, but she only did whites. The other stuff I would have to take home tomorrow. The thought of me giving girl’s clothes to my Mom to wash was interesting.

While I was cleaning the girls made supper for themselves and then I got ready to go out. While I was in the shower Fiona arrived and when I came out of the bathroom mostly made-up already, Fiona was talking to the others over dinner. Fiona even had some salad with them. They were talking about my first week as a girl.

“So tell me about Lawrence? Is he really good looking?” asked Fiona.

“I think he is handsome,” said Angie. “He has powerful broad shoulders and a tight little butt. Definitely kissable!”

“You like kissing boys butts do you Angie,” asked MJ.

“I was talking about the boy not the butt,” she said.

“Leslie was out on the porch with him for a while the second time. It least 15 minutes. We went to bed and left her to it,” said Carla.

“This is a little hard for me,” said Fiona. “He is still my brother and it’s going to take some getting used to. I knew he was going to start kissing someone someday but I didn’t expect it would be a boy.”

“We haven’t known Leslie as long as you have, but we try to say that Leslie used to be a boy, but she is a girl now,” said Carla. “We treat her as though she has always been a girl and she will have to get used to that kind of treatment.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Fiona told the girl’s. “You didn’t know her as a boy. I believe that Dawn has told Barbara and my Mom and Dad already so there will be some interesting conversation when she gets home tomorrow.”

That was going to be stressful discussion when I got home tomorrow, but I didn’t have time to think about that now. I was just about ready now and I came out of my room fully dressed wearing a blouse with a spaghetti strap tank top underneath and a grey skirt a little above the knee.

“What’s that about?” said Leslie looking at my clothes.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“You can’t wear that skirt on stage sitting on a stool. People will see up you skirt. Why don’t you wear one of you dresses with leggings underneath.”

“Because I have worn them all this week. I could go put my jeans back on.”

“Go for it,” said Fiona.

Wearing jeans again it would have to be. I was hoping for a little relief from wearing jeans all day because they are not kind to my boy bits, but I couldn’t think of any other choice. I needed more clothing options.

I went back in my room to put my jeans on and I managed to hold-in all of my junk in place long enough to zip them up. While I was there I heard that someone was knocking on the front door. I guessed it would be Lawrence.

Fiona went down the stairs ahead of me with my guitar in hand while I went to find my other shoes and put my short denim jacket on.

“My my you look different again this evening Leslie, but very pretty all the same. Have you done something different with your hair?” said Lawrence to my sister as she walked down the stairs and took the guitar off her.

“Why thank you Lawrence that is a nice thing to say,” she said as she kissed him on the cheek and thanked him, “but that may have something to do with the fact that I am Fiona, Leslie’s sister”

I came down the stairs and Lawrence did a double take looking at us both in turn.

“Wow you both look amazing,” said Lawrence. “But how am I going to tell you apart?”

“That won’t be difficult once you know the differences,” said Fiona. “My hair is longer and straighter, Leslie’s eyebrows are a little lower and her chin is a little more pointed.

“Unbelievable,” he said. “You are so very similar to each other.”

“There are some other big difference,” said Fiona,” but we won’t go into those right now.”

I looked at Fiona with daggers. It was obvious she had a small attitude towards me right now.

Fiona got her guitar out of her car and Lawrence was more than happy to carry both guitars. We walked towards the Coffee Hutch and Fiona produced a piece of paper and gave it to me.

“I suppose you haven’t thought of a set list.” She was right. I had improvised my way through the first show but with two of us playing that would be a little more troublesome.

“Have you timed it,” I asked.

“Not with a stop watch, but I think I have it arranged it two halves of about 55 minutes each. Have a look at it and see if there is anything that you have a problem with.” I looked and didn’t see a problem.

I was watching Lawrence watch Fiona while we walked down the road. She was looking at me and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. I hope that if he is busy watching her then he won’t pay me any attention. We will see.

We got into the Coffee Hutch and the tables were mostly full. I saw Rebecca waving me over towards the back nearer the kitchen. The three of us went back with Lawrence carrying the guitars. We stowed them in the kitchen then sat down at our seats. Rebecca gave both Fiona and I brief hugs.

Rebecca had arranged 2 - 4 seater tables together for the group that so far included Lawrence, Connie, Caroline, Vic, Me, Fiona and Rebecca who had help serving tonight but may have to get up once in a while to help out.

In the beginning the conversation at the table was about how Fiona and I were so alike and we had to tell them the rules for how to tell the difference. Then Dylan came in from the kitchen because he had heard I was here. He was still wearing his kitchen apron and he had his hair tied back in a ball and was wearing a ball cap backwards.

He looked at me and Fiona and said, “I don’t know who to kiss.”

“You can kiss me if you want,” said Fiona. “You must be Dylan. I am Fiona.” He kissed her on both cheeks then I stood up and he kissed me too.

Just at that moment Hazel came walking in the door and headed straight of Dylan with a big smile on her face and gave him a big hug.

“Hazel my darling,” said Dylan. “How long has it been? It seems like forever since I last saw you?”

“It hasn’t been that long Dylan. I was still living here last April.”

“Missed you so much darling,” he said, “But I will have to talk to you later. I have meals to prepare.” And he disappeared back into the kitchen.

Hazen then started looking at me and Fiona. “OK,” she said. “Which one is the copy?”

I stood up. “I am the copy Hazel. This is my older sister; by a year, and my best friend, Fiona. We play and sing as a duo most of the time.” They shook hands.

“So cool,” she said. “I am so looking forward to hearing you. Do you have any room at your table? I came here on my own.”

“Well you can sit there next to Fiona because this seat next to me is for Rebecca.” I said.

She gave me a concerned look then decided to sit next to Fiona.

“Are you seeing Rebecca?” Hazel asked me.

I didn’t answer and I could tell by the look on Fiona’s face that she was shocked.

“To tell you the truth Hazel I believe that we have become good friends over the last few of days since we met but I can’t say we are seeing each other.”

I am sure that Fiona would be concerned by what she was hearing. Her brother, who happens to be cross-dressing at this moment, being involved in a possible lesbian relationship, sounds a bit off the wall, but that is potentially what is being spoken of.

While we were talking we ordered food and some drinks, just coke for me.

“You know that Rebecca and I had a relationship a couple of years ago Leslie,” said Hazel.

“Rebecca mentioned it, but I assume you have remained friends?” I asked.

“We broke-up for two reasons, mainly because of geography. Being separated by a 3 hour trip was not good for any relationship, but we believe our time had run its course. I don’t think either one of us was too upset by the split.”

“So how long since you saw each other, if you don’t mind me asking” I said.

“Spring of last year at graduation. After the graduation parties she left for New York and I haven’t seen each other hardly at all her since.”

I noticed she didn’t say that had not seen each other at all. She didn’t seem to upset about it but I was a little concerned. Rebecca and Hazel had a relationship the last time they were in college together, and now they are back in college together. Rebecca now lives in the apartment that Hazel used to live in and the 3 of us are involved in the dramatic society.

“What program are you taking,” asked Fiona of Hazel.

“I am in Business Administration, same course Rebecca was on. Rebecca and I met at the dramatic society. How about you?”

“I am taking Music in Philly so I don’t live here. I only came to play with Leslie. I have nearly an hour’s drive to get home before I get to my apartment,” said Fiona.

Rebecca came over and sat with us. She placed her hand on mine on my lap as she sat next to me. I think she may be claiming her territory and making clear her intentions.

“Nice to see you again Hazel,” she said like they were old friends. “I knew we would bump into each other sometime.”

Now this seemed strange to me. I may not have a lot of experience in these matters but if these two had a relationship for a year or so, haven’t spoken to each other for 15months, and now they sit at the same table together just acting cordially like nothing happened between them. I knew there was something odd about this relationship but I didn’t know what it was.

They were cordial towards each other but didn’t ask any questions about what each other had done or anything. There was no how ‘have you been’ or ‘what have you been doing.’ I made my mind up to ask Rebecca about it later.

We ate dinner, which was really good food. Not your normal bar food. I had a seafood marinara which was delicious. After we ate we went back to speak to Dylan for a couple of minutes. We told him about our set list. He told us he expected 2 hours that did not include a break so minimum 1 hour then 15 minute break then minimum 1 hour.

We did not have a problem with that because we knew plenty of songs and could just add one in anywhere. We knew plenty of Fleetwood Mac songs that were perfect for this type of occasion.

With about 20 minutes to go, Rebecca called me back to the kitchen. I didn’t know why but I was hoping it was for a glass of wine. I was not the only one at our table who wasn’t over 21 but those who were drinking were making me jealous.

I walked into the kitchen and I could see Dylan cooking with one of his staff, but they had their backs to us. Rebecca was holding a glass of red wine down on the bar with her and beckoning me over with the other. The area where she prepared the drinks was in a small alcove so people from the restaurant could not see us.

I was guessing the glass on wine was for and I said, “thank you my angel,” and reached for it. She didn’t let go. She put her hand around my waist, pulled me to her and kissed me on the lips.

My goodness she was delicious. She was a little taller than me so I was reaching up to her. My hand went around her waist and I rested myself against her. I was in heaven for a few moments.

We were disturbed by a male cough behind me. We broke off and stood apart. I didn’t recognize him but he asked to see Dylan. Rebecca went over to see Dylan.

I didn’t know if I should drink my wine in front of a stranger but I did anyway. He smiled at me but didn’t say anything. He was wearing a white denim shirt with embroidered patterns of parrots on it. He was tall and slim, drooping moustache , had long greying hair in a ponytail and dangling earrings. When Dylan came over the two of them greeted each other and hugged. Then they turned to me.

“Leslie,” said Dylan. “I want you to meet my friend Carl Lewis. Carl likes to keep up with the musical artists around because he occasionally has need of an act or two.”

We exchanged pleasantries and shook hands.

“Dylan said you have a very interesting voice and great presence under the lights and I am looking forward to hear you play,” said Carl.

“I feel honored.” I said. “This is really only our first show. Monday’s show was only me improvising.” Goodness was it only Monday when I did the first show. It seems like a lifetime away.

“Well whatever you call it, it was very enjoyable and I for one am looking forward to tonight,” said Dylan, “but it is time to get ready. Carl can you help them with set up and sound please? I have a couple of items to address in the kitchen.”

Rebecca reached over and grabbed my arm. “After the show remember!” she said. I nodded my head and smiled before I had to leave to start the show.

We picked up the guitars and went into the restaurant where I introduced Carl to Fiona and we headed for the front. The stools and microphones were set up so we did sound checks and tune ups and then sat playing the first part of ‘Never going back again’ by Fleetwood Mac.

We continued playing, finger picking our way through the song with the volume turned low but loud enough for everyone hear. We had arranged this with Carl who would turn it up to normal volume after Dylan’s introduction.

This playing actually worked as a warm up that we had forgot to plan into our schedule. A good artist always warms up before a show. Sometimes for hours. The audience got a little quite trying to listen to us playing then Dylan came to the stage and took the mic.

“Welcome everyone to Thursday at the Coffee Hutch. Tonight and every Thursday and Sunday for the next little while I am very glad to say you will find Leslie and Fiona playing here from 9 till around 11:15 or so.”

“Please welcome Leslie and Fiona.”

We continued picking our way through ‘Never going back again’ and Carl turned up the volume on the PA. The sound filled the room and sounded very clear. The sharpness of the tone on my Taylor contrasted nicely against the more mellow sounds from Fiona’s Yamaha.

We know that Lindsay Buckingham plays the entire song on his own on one guitar, but we don’t consider ourselves in the same league as Lindsey Buckingham so we play the song on two guitars. We think it sounds about the same.

I sang the lead vocal and Fiona joined in on the parts requiring harmony. I know it sounded good and when we finished we were rewarded with warm enthusiastic applause.

Fiona thanked everyone for the welcome. “Thanks everyone,” she said. “We are Fiona and Leslie Haigt. If you need to tell us apart just remember I am Fiona the good looking one.”

I pulled my tongue out at her and the audience laughed.

“Our second song is something we have practiced a lot and played publicly before at my University recital last spring. It is a modern rendition of a classical piece in a style made popular by Mike Oldfield. This is called In Dulci Jubilo.”

I didn’t really know if this would go down well but it was a fun piece for us to play. We only started playing it because it’s one of our Dad’s favorites. We got nice applause from it.

We continued into a few more popular song by people like the Dixie Chicks, Stevie Nicks, Sugarland, Lady Antebellum and finished the set with ‘If I die young’ by the Band Perry. It went down very well. We told everyone we would be back in 15 minutes and Dylan played some background music.

I decided I needed the little girl’s room and headed that way. Half way back Vic caught my arm to congratulate me on the music. He also wanted to tell me about his looper pedal which he said would have made some of our music easier to play and sound even more interesting. I said I would look forward to hearing it but I didn’t have time now or after the show. I excused myself and headed to the girl’s room.

When I got into the girl’s room I followed Fiona in. Both stalls were taken. She saw me behind her. She turned and said, “what are you doing in here?’

I opened my palms to her and shrugged. She rolled her eyes and looked way, putting her hands on her hips. I thought to myself ‘this can’t be a surprise.’ I can’t go in the men’s room. I thought she was on my side but maybe not all of the time. It did seem a little different to be in the woman’s washroom with my sister. Growing up I guess this was the only place we never went together.

After the girl’s room I went back to the kitchen to see if I could get a glass of wine with Rebecca. She wasn’t there but there was a full glass sitting there waiting for me, so I started to sip it.

While I was there I was surprised to hear Fiona starting to play without me. She said. “Forgive me sister. I am going to play one without you. She started to play and sing and I was amazed.

She played ‘Little black submarines’ by the Black Keys and it sounded beautiful.

Little black submarines Operator please Put me back on the line
Told my love I'd be back Operator please This is wrecking my mind
Oh, can it be The voices calling me They get lost and out of time
I should've seen it grow But everybody knows That a broken heart is blind
That a broken heart is blind
That a broken heart is blind

When she finished she said, “that was for my sister because I love her and I played that particular song just because it is my favorite song and not because my heart is broken or anything.”

That made up for the scene in the girl’s room. When I came back on stage I gave her a kiss on the cheek.

We played the rest of the set and everything went by like a flash. Big applause in many places especially at the end. Dylan would not allow an encore because he says neighbors complain after 11:30 and the police come out.

We unplugged, switched off and packed up while the staff, Dylan, his cook, Rebecca and the woman I had not met yet cleaned up the place. Didn’t take long.

Lawrence was waiting to take me back to the apartment but I asked him to take Fiona back to her car. Fiona hugged me.

“I am sorry for what I said earlier,’ she said quietly in my ear. Lawrence was sanding close be. “I am not exactly myself today.”

“That’s OK,” I said. “You made up for it with the song. It was beautiful.”

Lawrence picked up Fiona’s guitar and they disappeared outside. I went back to find my guitar. Everyone had left now and Rebecca was waiting there on her own.

“I guess I should leave,” I said. And she got the strangest look on her face.

“I am only kidding!” I said quickly. “I was joking.”

She looked at the floor and shook her head, then she lifted her head and held out her hand.

“Want to come up to my place?”

“Can’t wait,” I said.

---------------------

Little black submarines. Written by the black keys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZQqY8ImoM8

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 11.

She’s my baby. Thursday Night September 12th
-
-----------------\r

Rebecca held out her hand.

“Want to come up to my place?”

“Can’t wait,” I said. “Where is your place?”

She turned back towards the kitchen and opposite the alcove where drinks are served. On the opposite wall there was a door. Rebecca opened it and signaled for me to follow her.

I followed up the stairs. She had on her usual working dress which was a plane short black evening dress. I couldn’t help but watch her legs and ass as I followed her. Her legs were muscular and silky smooth. I would normally be getting an erection but I was held back inside these tight woman’s jeans.

We entered the room which was pleasant but a little dark. Lots of dark wood and a big brown leather sofa in front of the electric fireplace. I put my guitar down behind the couch.

Without any indication that this was going to happen she stepped in front of me, wrapped both arms around me, tilted her head and kissed me deeply on the lips. I couldn’t help but to join in. She tasted wonderful and I wrapped my arms around her held on for dear life as I thought I could give weigh under the onslaught to my nervous system.

Every part of her fantastic powerful womanhood was invading my senses and I was overcome by her for what seemed like a minor eternity. But it couldn’t last. I became aware of the conflict within me and tried to wake myself up and push away.

As I wriggled from her grasp she said, “Whatever is the matter? Why are you pushing away? I thought this was what you wanted.”

“It is! Of course it is,” I said.

I walked away from her and sat down on her sofa and took a breath. I was on the verge of crying.

“So you want me to kiss you but you pushed me away. I don’t understand.”

“But I am here under false pretenses. I am not the pretty girl you think I am.”

“Are you Leslie Haigt?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“You are young and you are very pretty,” she continued, but I couldn’t hold it together. I put my head in my hands and rested forward on my knees and started crying my eyes out.

She sat down beside me and both hands started rubbing my back. I kept on crying and then she pulled me towards her so I was resting on her lap.

“So whatever is the problem,” she asked.

“I just told you. You can work it out,” I said.

“But you are Leslie Haigt! You are young and pretty. I don’t understand. What is it that I am not getting? Are you a bank robber or something?”

I shook my head. I didn’t want to say it as I was hoping that she would figure it out for herself but it seems like I would have to actually tell her. I sat up and looked at her while holding her hands.

“Please don’t get mad at me?” I asked.

“Why should I get mad at you? We haven’t done anything I regret yet. I won’t get mad at you. Go ahead you can trust me.”

“I am sorry but this has all gotten out of control and I really didn’t plan for this to happen,” I said.

“That’s OK! You can tell me,” she said in an understanding tune. “Go ahead.”

I took a breath and said it. “I am not a girl.”

“Of course you’re a girl I can see from here you are a very beautiful girl. What do you mean?”

“I mean that I am not a girl.”

Silence followed. She needed a few moments for this to sink in and find its rightful place within in her thought processes.

“So you are telling me you’re a boy?”

“Yes,” I nodded.

“Well fuck me!” she said and she dropped my hand.

“I’m sorry,” I said. She didn’t respond to that, she just looked at me. It took her a few moments to respond, but when she did there was a twinge of frustration in her voice.

“How on earth can you be a boy,” she asked. “You are fucking gorgeous!”

She hadn’t started to beat me up so I felt a little better. “Thank you. Just lucky I guess.”

“Are you transgendered and want to become a girl?”

“In that area I am totally screwed up,” I said, sobbing through my words. “I was a boy last week just trying to find a nice place to stay for college and somehow I became this.”

“But if you were a boy last week how could you get into college and into a girl’s residence?”

I told her the story of how I came to the apartment and they thought I was a girl, and then they found my girl’s clothes and the dean’s office called etc.

“So you did all of this because you are a cross-dresser.”

“No,” I said. “I did this mainly because I needed a place to stay and the boy’s apartments were all full. It just worked out easier because the girls thought I was a girl anyway and they had already told the dean’s office that I was a girl because I had a suitcase full of girl’s clothes.”

“Are you gay and want to make it with boys?”

“No,” I said. “Boys have never interested me.”

“Why did you come up to my room with me? You must have known that I find out that you were a boy as soon as we made out?”

“Probably because I think that you are about the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I was hoping I might kiss you.”

“Leslie this is impossible,” she said as she put her head in her hands and rested her elbows on her knees.

“I think it may be improbable yes but the fact that it just happened means that it is not impossible.”

“I didn’t mean that it’s impossible that you are a boy.” She said. “How I feel is impossible.”

“What?” I asked.

“Well Leslie. I am a confirmed dyke and have been since my early teens. I have never let a boy touch or kiss me and never intended to. My problem is Leslie that you just told me you are a boy and I really wanted to fuck your brains out.”

“So are you saying that you don’t want me anymore?” I asked.

“Things are never simple are they Leslie. I know what I wanted to do with you. I had been dreaming about it for a couple of days, but I can’t do that now.

“Why not?”

“Oh please grow up Leslie. I wanted to taste your clitoris and vagina and have your juices fun down my face and I wanted you to do the same to me. Now you tell me you have a fucking dick.”

She didn’t seem exactly angry with me, but she was obviously frustrated with the situation. I still wanted her and was trying to think of some way to salvage something out of this.

“I still want to taste your vagina and have your juices fun down my face,” I said.

She got up off the couch and headed for what I assume was the kitchen.

“I need a drink, do you want one? I am having a large whiskey.”

“I’ll have what you’re having,” I said.

“What do you want in it? I am having coke.”

I said I would have the same. She came back with two large glasses with what looked like ice and coke. She sat next to me and started gulping it down. I tried to do the same but it tasted pretty nasty to me.

“This tastes like shit Rebecca.”

“Just drink it Leslie. You might need it.” I drank some down slowly but it still tasted like shit.

“Listen Leslie we have a problem. I still find you attractive but this relationship just developed some problems.”

“What’s that Rebecca,” I asked.

“You have a penis Leslie,” allowing her frustration to show through a little.

“I know,” I said, “and its tucked away inside these tight woman’s jeans and getting very uncomfortable.”

“You will have to keep it there a little longer Leslie till we figure out what to do about it.”

“Why. What were you thinking of doing with it?”

“That’s just the thing Leslie, I am not prepared for a penis. I don’t take the pill. Do you have condoms?”

“No,” I said.

“As I said we are not prepared. I wouldn’t mind a penis inside me but not without a condom.”

“Could you use your mouth?” I asked.

“No fuckin’ way Leslie. I have always hated that idea. This is not going to work is it?” she said.

“We have to make it work,” I said.

“But why Leslie?”

I put my hand to her cheek and pulled her face towards mine. “Can’t we just start again? You are still the most astonishingly attractive woman I have ever set eyes on.” I said.

“This is ridiculous,” she said. She pulled me to her and pulled my head down and rested it near her breast. She spoke quietly in my ear.

“When we came up those stairs and you came into my apartment I was convinced I was going fuck your brains out. I have had an aching in my stomach that tells me I am going to fuck someone soon or I will explode.”

I picked my head up and looked at her. “Is that a good thing,” I asked.

“That depends young Leslie on whether you want your brains fucked out or not.”

“Does it hurt?” I asked.

“That depends how gentle I am with you. The other problem is that I have never fucked a boy and I am not sure how.”

“I have never fucked anyone either.” I added. I don’t think that was a lie, not in the Bill Clinton sense anyway.

She took my hand and placed it on here breast. I shivered. I had my hand on her breast. A bolt of pressure made its way to my penis and it started to tingle. She kissed me on the mouth and waves of pleasure radiated across my entire body and now I was tingling all over.

She pulled back and opened her eyes, then without moving my hand from her breast she reached behind her and lowered the zip of her dress. She then pulled her arms away and I moved my hand back to allow her dress to fall down to her lap.

Her beautiful breast were revealed but still contained in a beautiful black lace see through bra. She reached behind herself again and undid her bra. She pulled her arms from it and pulled it from her.

Rebecca’s breast was exposed before me. They were big and round and exquisitely shaped and seemed at the time to be the most exciting thing I had ever seen. I lifted my hand to cup her breast and feel her nipple and she placed her and over mine.

I reached out and kissed her again. I could hardly believe this had really happened I was kissing Rebecca and her breast was in my hand.

Rebecca gently pulled back. “Your turn,” she said.

I pulled my top and tank top up to reveal my bra and corset. Then I unfastened my bra and removed my breast forms. Rebecca’s hand moved to cover my breast.

Rebecca’s hand caressed my left breast and examined my nipple. I made a sharp intake of breath as held my nipple between her fingers.

“You like that?” she said knowing that I did. “I know you said you were a boy, but you have small breasts like a young girl.”

“I know,” I said. “Don’t ask me how that happened.”

She kissed me again then she reached for her drink and finished the rest in one.

“Do you want that?” she said, intimating towards my drink. I shook my head so she picked my drink up and finished it. Then she stood up and pulled me with her as she walked off towards her bedroom with me being towed behind her.

She got into her room then she kicked off her shoes and lowered her dress to the floor, kicked it in the corner after her shoes, then she turned to face me. All she had on was a tiny black thong. I had never been so close to something so beautifully erotically stimulating and she was standing about 4 feet from me. I had a void in the pit of my stomach that I knew she could fill.

My mouth was wide open as I looked at her. She smiled. “What are you looking at?” she said. I couldn’t answer she was just to dam attractive for words.

She signaled to me with her hands. “You next.”

I unbuckled my shoes and took them off then removed my jeans then went to take off my corset.

“Leave that on,” she said. “That’s sexy.”

She threw back the sheets and go onto the bed. She scooted across the other side to make room for me. I got onto the bed beside her. As soon as I was on the bed she climbed on top of me and placed her leg between mine and started to grind on me while kissing me. Her tits were between us and resting on my tits. Her arms were under my arms holding my body in place. She invaded my mouth with her sensuously delicious tongue and I was in heaven.

My hands were up around her head and I wanted to feel her body. I pulled back to try to move my arms below hers. I ended up rolling her over so I became the one on top, which allowed me to touch her body.

As I lay on top of her, kissing her I felt her wonderful tits then her ribs as they pointed inwards towards her slim waist. Then I put my hands underneath her and around her ass cheeks and pulled her hips into me, making the grinding more positive.

I pulled myself away from her hips just enough to allow my hand entrance to her panties and her hand immediately followed my hand and she pushed two of my fingers deep inside her vagina.

I have never touched a vagina before. I was soft and silky and firm and wet all at the same time. She was now grinding on my hand, but after a few moments of this she pulled my hand away from her vagina and brought it up to my face and plunged our fingers into my mouth.

The taste was exciting, not because of the flavor but because I knew where it had come from. I was tasting Rebecca’s love juices and this was the flavor of lust. I licked every finger before me to ensure I didn’t waste any of the delicious nectar, then Rebecca began to push me down her body.

I started to move down her body kissing every part of her on the way down. I played with her breasts and toyed with her nipples, I kissed her under the arms and down the side of her ribs. I kissed her amazingly flat hard stomach and pushed my tongue inside her belly button, which did taste a little powdery.

I kissed my way down her lower stomach and kissed the hairs above her vagina. She was mostly shaved but she had a small triangle in just the perfect location, but there was no more room and I was close to falling off the bottom of the bed. I had to swing around to approach from above. My knees were now up near Rebecca’s shoulders.

I began kissing the folds of her legs again but she reached out with her arms and placed my head directly over and into where she wanted my mouth and tongue to go. My tongue went straight into her vagina and her hands held me into place locking me into her pleasure den.

She began letting our cries of pleasure with noises that come from the back of her throat but sounded like they originated from deep inside her as she began grinding her vagina into my face.

Now she took my hand that had been behind her but and pushed it towards her vagina. I guess what she wanted and plunged 3 fingers deep inside her. She reacted by squeezing with her vagina and almost breaking my fingers so I pulled my fingers out. I realized that I could not leave 3 fingers side by side inside her and arranged them in a triangle and put them back in and her hips began to buck and weave in my grasp

A sweet liquid now began to flow from her vagina and run across my face and nose. Had my eyes been open it would have gone into my eyes. It tasted wonderful and I knew it couldn’t be blood. I am sure I was making her come and that gave me great pleasure.

She continued to grind on my face and even though I was not being pleasured myself, at that moment I could think of nothing in the world that I would rather be doing. To have this woman in my arms and be doing what I am doing was an absolute privilege and I felt grateful to be allowed to do this to a woman so beautiful.

We carried on for a while but I began to tire and I think she was tiring too. The sounds she was making were quieter and she was not pushing my face down into her vagina and more, just holding me in place.

She released her grip then pulled me up towards her so she could kiss me. She kissed me on the lips them all over my faces then she licked me clean of all her juices that had flowed all over my face. Her tongue all over my eyes and forehead felt wonderful.

“What about you?” she said. “What can I do for you?”

“Can you use your hands on me?” I asked. She didn’t say anything but it was obvious she wanted to please me. I pulled off my 2 pairs of panties and my penis gently rose to attention. I felt so completely engulfed in pure femininity and lust that my penis was fully erect and hard within a few seconds.

I lay back beside her and pulled her hand over to my penis, which was already wet and slippery with my own juices. She started working on me and after a couple of on course corrections she started to really get going. She now placed her head on my stomach so I couldn’t see but she was now doing really good without my interruption.

Then she change position and sat on my legs with my penis sticking up between her thighs. She now started working on me with two hands. I started to complain that I was becoming dry so she reached between her legs to her vagina and scooped some vaginal juices, rubbing them on my penis and continuing working on me.

Her tits bouncing and jiggling in front of was amazing. The light was off in the bedroom but the light from the lounge and kitchen gave enough light to see everything clearly.

I reached up to grab her breast. She was watching my face the whole time and she noticed my face distorting.

“Are you going to come?” she asked. I could only nod my head a little before I started blasting my own seed across my stomach, onto my corset and a little landed on my chest. Waves of pleasure ran through me and I was convinced I have never enjoyed anything have as much as these few minutes.

I had to stop her from moving her hands any more as the pleasure was turning to pain. She just held still for a little while holding my penis with her two hands and me holding her hands in mine. I laid back and closed my eyes and let the sensations subside a little.

I felt her finger collect some of the come from my chest and my eyes opened. She put the cum covered finger into her mouth.

“Doesn’t taste too bad,” she said. Certainly not as disgusting as I expected. I might tolerate that thing in my mouth if you can do ‘that’ to me every time.”

“But right now you have got to get a shower,” she said. “You have got cum on your body and my juices in your hair. You can’t go to sleep like that. I just put clean sheets on today.”

“But I have to go back to my apartment,” I said.

“Please Leslie,” she asked. “You can’t make me go to sleep on my own after an orgasm like that. It’s not fair.”

“I can’t resist you,” I said. “How could anyone resist you?”

“My erection had disappeared now so Rebecca stepped of the bed but kept hold of my hand and dragged me with her towards the bathroom and showed. She turned on the shower and I removed my corset.

She stepped into the shower and I stepped in with her. It was a little tight in there but that made it even more pleasurable. Every time I moved I touched her.

She turned away from me to clean herself and avoid our heads clashing. I wrapped my arms around her and one hand wandered up to her breast and the other around her waist. I can’t imagine anyone’s body feeling any more heavenly.

I allowed my other hand to drift down between her legs and she put her hands over mine and held me there. My penis came up between her legs and she made a little space for it by opening her legs a little.

“My penis isn’t such a horrible thing is it?” I asked.

“Yours I can tolerate,” she said. “I wouldn’t let anyone else’s touch me.”

I just held on to her as the water washed over me. When the rinsing was complete she turned the water off but I just held on to her. I just couldn’t believe something so beautiful could ever happen to me.

“We are not doing it again,” said Rebecca.

“I just don’t want to let you go,” I said.

“You can hold me again when we get in bed,” she said as she prized my hands away and stepped out of the shower. She gave me a towel and we got dried. I couldn’t believe just watching her dry herself was so erotic. She put her hands on me for support as she dried her feet, then kissed me and she walked into the bedroom naked. I watched her ass wobble as she walked away from me. Unbelievable.

She reached onto a draw and gave me some panties.

“Cover yourself up while we are asleep,” she said, “I don’t want that thing poking me in the back in the middle of the night.

She put panties and a T shirt on to go to sleep in. She set her alarm for 7 am and we got in be beside each other. I kissed her one more time and watched her fall asleep.

------------------------

My baby, she comes out at night,
she's takin' me by surprise,
She's my baby.

Like gravy, down to the last drop,
I keep mopping her up
Oh yeah, she's my baby

Wings She’s my baby.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNSWmER2Exg

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 12.

Changing all those changes. Friday morning September 13th

An alarm clock was buzzing somewhere. It wasn’t too long before I realized that I was in Rebecca’s bed and a giant smile spread itself across my face. I sat up in bed with the anticipation of seeing Rebecca lying in bed next to me, she was not there but she did the next best thing my walking into the bedroom to me with a coffee in her hand.

She was wearing jeans and a low cut tank top and looking really beautiful. She placed the coffee on the table and before she said anything she sat on the bed and kissed me. She kept her mouth closed because I had not cleaned my teeth, but then she hugged me. She felt magical in my arms and smelled amazing.

I powerful erection rose between my legs and I began to think of the wonderful things we did last night, but Rebecca’s thoughts were somewhere else and she ordered me to clean my teeth, put some warm clothes on and come into the kitchen.

I did what I was told and headed into the kitchen to find Rebecca cooking ham and scrambled eggs. She had put on a sweater because the back door was open and sunlight was streaming in inviting me to go outside.

I walked outside to find myself on a pleasant deck overlooking next door’s flower garden. The deck was almost totally secluded apart from a bathroom window in the house next door. There were trees obscuring the view of any other house. The warmth of the sun was magnificent but I needed sunglasses. It was a magical little nook hidden away from everyone.

Rebecca set me up with a coffee, had me put an umbrella up for shade then sat me down at the table where she brought out ham and eggs on a breakfast tray.

“So what do you think?” she asked.

“I am in heaven!” I said tucking into my breakfast. “I am floating on a cloud and I can’t stop myself from smiling.”

“So am I not going to get an honest evaluation from you?”

“How could I evaluate you?” I asked. “You are the only woman I have ever done those things to. You are just so amazing it makes my stomach ache to think about it.”

“But you knew exactly what to do. I could have sworn that you had been doing this for years.”

“No honestly I have never touched a woman like that in my life. The only way I had any idea of what to do was from reading magazines about how the body works and how to bring a woman to orgasm articles.”

“So I guess you enjoyed it?” I asked.

“Yes, to be honest I am very happy today,” said Rebecca. “When you told me that you were a boy I was disappointed because I really wanted to taste the woman in you. I couldn’t do that, but I still made love to you. To make love to I wanted. You made me shiver down to my roots and I can still feel the tingle.”

“Oh now I feel a little smug,” I said.

“Why Leslie,” she asked.

“Because you are so beautiful and I feel so ordinary. I made the most beautiful woman I have ever met, tingle.”

“I need you to stop that Leslie.”

“What,” I said.

“Complements are nice but you go too far. You are Leslie Haigt. You are very beautiful yourself or I wouldn’t let you near me. You sing beautifully and you have an amazing presence around you. OK when I walk into a room I know that people turn around and say ‘there is a beautiful woman.’ I know that happens and it makes me feel good.”

“But when you walk in the room people say there goes Leslie Haigt. She is beautiful and talented and confident. They want to talk to you and hear you sing. They just want to look at me maybe take me to bed.”

I was astonished and lost for words.

“Anyway I am sure you are just passing through here on your way to bigger and better things while I will go back to New York and pick up where I left off.”

“Where did this come from?” I asked. “Last night was wonderful and now you start talking about what happen when it’s over.”

“I always want to be your friend Leslie for sure, and what we had last night was wonderful but you must realize our differences are too great.”

“What do you mean differences?”

“Leslie I am a dyke and you have a dick. It’s just not going to work out.”

All of the wind had suddenly got sucked from my sails. No longer hungry I put my knife and fork down and sat back in the chair. I fought for a way back but she seemed to have made things very clear already.

“I thought you said last night that you wouldn’t mind doing this again. What happened?”

“I thought about it some more obviously after I woke this morning and please don’t get me wrong. I will always love you and be grateful for this moment but I didn’t sign up to have a dick put in my mouth.”

I couldn’t believe it. It felt like I had been given the greatest gift in the world, just to have it taken back again. A lump developed in my throat.

“Will I never get to kiss you again?” I said struggling to get the words out through the oncoming tears.

She quickly got up and came over to me, kissed me on the forehead and hugged my head to her chest. I cried in her arms.

“Yes you can kiss me Leslie, but in future we will be friends but not lovers. You are going to find lots of beautiful people in your life who will love you, but I am the wrong person to have relationship with.”

I couldn’t move and I had no intention to let go of her. This just didn’t seem right. How could this be over so soon? I couldn’t stop crying.

“Leslie you are going to have to pull yourself together and get on with your day,” said Rebecca. “You have to go back to your apartment and get ready for college and you have less than an hour.”

“How am I going to go to college when I feel like this?”

“You can do it Leslie. It can’t be that hard to get over me. We have only known each other for 5 days and we only had the one time together which was last night.”

She was right. I wasn’t acting like an adult at this time. I was more like a child who had his toy taken away. I had to snap out of it.

“I’m sorry Rebecca.” I said trying to regain some composure. “You know that I have never had a girlfriend before and this is the first time I have lost one.”

“You must have had an idea that it wouldn’t work out Leslie.”

“Of course Rebecca, but last night was so beautiful I kind of forgot. Does that sound childish?” I asked.

“You are not a child Leslie and you are not acting childish now. I understand that you are very upset about me ending this already but if you were acting childish then surely you would be angry at me for hurting you.”

“I couldn’t be angry with you Rebecca because you gave me something wonderful. You were the one who was obvious with your intentions and I was the one hiding something. I am just really sorry we couldn’t work it out.”

“I think you are recovered enough to go back to your apartment now Leslie. We both only have only an hour to get to class. I still want to be your friend as I said before. I want you to call me later to tell me that you are OK. OK?”

“OK I will call you later before I head home for the weekend.”

“Why are you going home for the weekend Leslie, you only just got here?”

“My parents don’t know I am attending college as a girl. Remember I said last night that I have only been a girl for a week.”

“Obviously I am not the only one you have been hiding things from.”

“It’s not that I wanted to hide anything from you Rebecca, but our relationship has been so short that I told you the first time I could.”

“I suppose you a right, but it still didn’t feel right. I thought I was chasing a girl.”

“I know that I need to tell anyone I have a relationship with about who or what I really am. When we met, Rebecca, I still hadn’t sorted that out and I don’t think I have yet. I need to do that over the weekend with my parents.”

“That should be an interesting conversation,” she said. “You will have to tell me about it when you get back.”

We shared a hug or two before I collected my guitar and headed down the road to the apartment. I didn’t feel in the best condition and I could feel where the tears had dried on my face but I didn’t have time to worry about it.

When I got into the apartment the girls were cleaning up from breakfast and getting ready to go out.

“So what happened to you,” asked Carla. “We noticed you were missing. Has your relationship with Rebecca moved to the next level?”

“Rebecca and I won’t be moving to any other levels Carla. Rebecca wants a real woman and that is not exactly what I am.”

“Sorry Leslie,” Carla said as she reached for my hand. I thanked her and gave her a short hug.

“I will have to explain it some other time but right now I have to get to college.”

As I was going to my room MJ met me at my door and hugged me.

“If you want to talk later I am free this afternoon Leslie,” she said, then she kissed me on the cheek and I returned the kiss. She smiled at me in an understanding way then let me go. I held her cheek in my hand for a moment.

“Thanks for being understanding,” I said. She smiled at me and then went back to her room.

Now I felt like a sleaze ball. MJ may not have known what went on at Rebecca’s but I am sure she had an idea. She was the one who said we won’t tell anyone and pretend it didn’t happen but what I was doing didn’t seem exactly right by her.

I made up my mind to consider MJ in my dealings with other people in future. It was obvious to me that I had been rather self-centered by allowing people to take advantage of me, or was it me taking advantage of them, I am not sure.

Now I had to get dressed in beautiful women’s clothes again and I was in no mood to enjoy it, again. I didn’t have any clean summer dresses and I wore my jeans yesterday so I picked out a woolen business dress with tights and my 3” gladiator sandals. Not the most modern or sexiest clothing to choose but it was functional, comfortable and very feminine. I am glad Fiona picked it for me. It did feel sexy once I was wearing it, especially with nude tights.

I managed to get ready and get to class on time. I sat with Connie and Caroline as usual and Vic came over to congratulate me on a good show and ask if he could join us for break before he went to sit with Lawrence. I agreed of course.

At break once we got our coffee etc. Connie, Caroline and I sat with Vic, Lawrence, Dave and Jesus who as it turns out had all come to the show last night. Vic was very complementary about the music and everyone agreed that my sister Fiona was wonderful and the highlight of the night was Fiona singing ‘Little black submarines’ and dedicating it to me.

“And Fiona let us walk her to her car,” said Vic.

“It’s only 50 yards,” I said, “But thanks for looking after her.”

“Thank Lawrence,” said Vic. “I left the two of them talking as they seemed to be getting along really well.”

“So what were you talking about Lawrence?” I asked.

“About you and your family,” said Lawrence. “Don’t worry I didn’t kiss her or anything.”

“She is a big girl Lawrence. I am sure she has been kissed before and you don’t need my permission,” I said trying to cover up the fact that my sister knows about me and Lawrence didn’t. I wish I knew what they had said or to be more precise what Fiona had told Lawrence about me.

“Fiona said she would come down and join us at the beach on Saturday night,” said Lawrence.

“What,” I said. Lawrence had caught be by surprise. “I had assumed Fiona was coming home at the weekend with me.”

“Fiona said that it was your gig on the weekend, not hers. She wants to enjoy the last couple of hot weekends on the beach and she promised to bring her guitar,” said Lawrence.

That was a minor shock. It was almost like my sister would be replacing me at the beach with my friends while I face the music at home with my parents.

“So how long were you out there for?” I asked.

“About half an hour,” he said. “I like spending time with beautiful girls like you and your sister. Is that OK?”

“I guess so,” I said.

“She is going to pick me up here and give me a ride to the beach, although she did say she would probably bring a friend from her college.”

“I am jealous,” I said. “Sounds like you are going to have fun without me.”

As time for the next class was approaching we all got up and headed off for class, but as we left the table Lawrence hung back and then grabbed my arm. I turned to him a little agitated.

“It’s OK,” he said. “I understand.”

Now that concerned me. “Understand what?” I said.

“Fiona told me. I understand and I am not angry,” said Lawrence.

I thought about that for a second and looked at him with what must have been a bemused look. I had no idea what to say to him. I pulled my hand away and walked off. I was absolutely sure I was not going to ask him what Fiona had told him. This was getting a little out of control.

I got into class and did my best to pay attention but mind was elsewhere. I wanted to ask Fiona what she had said. Does he know I am a boy? There was no one here that I could talk to about it I would have to wait to call Fiona after class.

I told the others I needed to do something at lunch time and just walked out into the parking lot and sat under a shady tree and called Fiona. She didn’t answer so I texted her.

‘What did you say to him,’ I asked.

‘I told him your gender was confused when you were younger.’

“Why did you have to say anything? He didn’t need to know.’

‘He guessed there was something. He asked me why you might be wearing boys’ clothes and he was asking if your driver’s license said you were a boy.’

‘This could get all over the college.’

‘He said he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. He said he still likes you.’

‘He doesn’t know me at all. You told him that my gender was confused but that is a lie. I am a boy wearing a dress.”

‘I didn’t know what to tell him but I had to tell him something. I did the best I could at the time. I couldn’t ask you. I was waiting there with him hoping that you would come along and get me out of the situation.’

‘I was with Rebecca.’

‘I didn’t know that. I was waiting for you. He was nice and friendly to me but he was only interested in you. After half an hour I just had to leave.’

‘I am sorry Fiona. I thought you knew I was going up to Rebecca’s room.”

‘No, Sorry TTYL.’

Brilliant! Now I am gender confused. I guess there was some room for me to shape an answer from that condition but it was not what I wanted.

I was not exactly hungry but my stomach was not in 100% agreement with me. I needed food. I walked into the cafeteria hoping to avoid the normal crowd by going in the other end. I just grabbed a Caesar wrap and a coke and tried to sit down looking away from the door but before I could sit down Anders and Hazel waved for me to go over. I went to sit with them. At least it wasn’t Lawrence.

“So have you thought any more about the play Leslie?” asked Anders. Hazel was obviously very interested too.

“I can’t say I have put a lot of thought into it but I haven’t thought of a reason why I shouldn’t do it yet, apart from the amount of time I need to dedicate.”

“You will love it,” said Hazel reaching over the table to grab the back of my hand. “We can learn the parts together. I live only a minute’s walk from your apartment and learning things with someone is always more fun.”

Her smooth flawless skin with just a hint of make-up together with her striking features made her extremely attractive. This is not what I needed right now but I could quickly find myself in trouble with Hazel.

“Yes I understand,” I said, “But I can’t commit this moment. I have to go home to my parents this weekend but I promise I will give you an answer.”

At that moment Anders said he had to be somewhere and left me with Hazel.

“How is Rebecca?” she asked. No the most direct question but it was going to get me talking about Rebecca.

“She is fine,” I said, not wanting to give anything away.

“Are you two in a relationship?” she asked. That was much more direct and caught me a little off guard. I thought it best to answer with only the latest information that I have.

“Rebecca and I are good friends, but we don’t have any other type of relationship.”

“You seemed rather close last night Leslie.” She said.

I considered from that question that she may be wanting to make a pass at me. She was very attractive but I thought I should discourage her from any attempt at starting a relationship. I started talking quietly to her so no one else could hear.

“Hazel, as you know Rebecca is a lesbian and that makes us incompatible as lovers. I am interested in being her friend and I hope that is not a problem?”

Then I realized after I had said it that may not have been the smartest way to put it. But anyway, it was out there now.
“That is kind of blunt, but I don’t see why it should be a problem. As we are being blunt Leslie, I must have been mistaken in the times we have met because I was sure you found me attractive.”

“Yes it is obvious that you are a very attractive woman. I did notice that,” I said.

“But that is not exactly what I meant Leslie and I think you know it. Are you attracted to me or not?”

I couldn’t think of a reason to lie. I am pretty sure that Hazel can’t be homophobic.

“Yes I am attracted to you,” I said. “Is that a problem?”

“Well now I am totally confused,” said Hazel. “How the hell can attracted to me but you say you are not a lesbian.”

“Can we take this conversation somewhere else?” I asked. “I am not comfortable talking in these surroundings.”

She looked around the room then pointed to the garden outside. “Over there!” she said. We got up and went outside and found a bench under a tree for some shade and sat down. There was obviously no one in ear shot. We sat looking at each other but not touching.

“Leslie, you have got to explain this to me. How can you be attracted to me if you are not a lesbian?”

“OK let me put it this way. If you found a guy that was attracted to you and that guy said to you that he was not a lesbian.” She stopped me and put her hand across my mouth.

“You can’t be!” said Hazel. Then she took her hand down.

“Why not?” I asked. “Look I am going out on a limb here by telling you this and I hope it stays between you and me. There are very few people around here who know about me and I would like to keep it that way.”

“Why do you think you can tell me?” she asked.

“I am sure you understand homophobia and the reasons why this has to stay between us. I have also learned that I need to tell people what I am before I can develop a relationship with them.”

“So you think you are going to develop a relationship with me?” she asked.

“I think that is a nice idea but I don’t know,” I said, “but if we do this Romeo and Juliet thing I will probably have to kiss you, and I believe that most people would like to know if the person they are kissing is male or female.”

“That’s a good thing to do I guess.” She said, and then she held my hand and smiled at me. “I am not going to tell anyone. You can trust me.”

I thanked her and explained that I had no time to talk as I was going to class and then I needed to head home to see my parents. She said she would come to the show on Sunday but I explained that I would like to see her there but I would not have any time to speak on a show evening, but I might have a little time after the show. We exchanged numbers and I said I would try to call over the weekend.

After class most of my new friends headed for the cafeteria but I had no time for that so I went back to the apartment on my own. I decided that I could not face going home and walking in to see Mom and Dad in a dress, so I packed some girl’s and boy’s clothes in a suitcase including my dirty laundry, showered and changed into some boring old boys clothes and headed home in my little Honda, with my guitar.

I couldn’t believe how things could change in just a short time. This time yesterday I was dreaming about spending time alone with Rebecca, now she doesn’t want me, but it seems I may already have found another beautiful woman who does.
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Please check out the song.!!!

Changing all those changes. Madeleine Peyroux

http://vimeo.com/55530341

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 13.

This one's for the girl. Friday afternoon September 13th

I phoned my Mom to tell her I was leaving the apartment and that I would be home at about 7pm.

“How are you?” she asked gently.

“I’m fine Mom. I am just the same as when I left on Sunday.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. “If you don’t feel like driving and I am sure your Father could come and pick you up. I am sure this week has been a big strain on you.”

“No Mom I am just fine,” I said. “I am still the same person I was last week. I just wore different clothes for a few days.”

“So what are you going to look like when you come home?”

“Just the same Mom honestly. I got my ears pierced and my hair done differently but I am just the same. Today I am wearing the same clothes as when I left if that’s what you mean.”

“Please drive safely Leslie. We love you very much you know.”

“I know Mom and I love you too. I will be there at about 7pm depending on the rush hour traffic on the highway.”

“You could go the south route to the new 76. They say it’s safer Leslie.”

“I will be OK with my usual route Mom it’s OK. Everything is OK. I will see you at about 7pm.”

I made sure she was OK then hung up. I know her worrying is only a sign that she loves me but it can be a little much at times.

So, wearing cargo pocket shorts, two tee shirts and crocks, I packed my clothes, both types plus my laundry and my guitar into the car and headed home.

I still didn’t know what I was going to say when I got there. My plan was to tell the story of how I used to enjoy being dressed up in girls clothes by my sisters when I was a boy and how I have enjoyed dressing in my sisters clothes for years without anyone knowing about it. I am going to explain that I have kept my own collection of girl’s clothes and how when everyone was away from home I would get dressed and enjoyed being a girl for a short while.

I am then going to explain how I arrived at the apartment and the girls thought I was a girl so they accepted me, then the dean’s office called while I was not there and the girls in the apartment confirmed I was a girl because of my collection of girls clothes, and the fact that I looked like a girl.

Then I expected questions. The type and scope of questions could be endless but I knew there were some questions that I needed answers for before they asked me.

Did I want to become a girl full time for ever? How was I going to answer that I didn’t know. Being a girl full time involves hormones, surgery, counseling and many other things I am sure I don’t know about yet. That sounded scary.

Did I want to be a wife with a husband and give up all boy things? Definitely not right now! I have loved being with MJ and Rebecca over the last couple of days. How could I give that up?

Did I want to have sex with men? That was a difficult one. Could it be better than sex with a girl? I don’t know. I haven’t actually had full penetrating sex with a girl yet and I haven’t had any type of sex with a boy, unless you call kissing a boy sex. I know when I kissed Eden, MJ thought we were almost having sex. I find the thought of sex with a boy exciting, but was I just being curious? I don’t know.

Was I going to carry on college dressed as a girl? I think that has to be a big yes. I have found the last week wearing girl’s clothes and ‘being’ a girl to be so much more fun than I could possibly have than being a boy. I didn’t want to stop and how could I just change part way through.

Traffic was busy but still moved at a reasonable pace and I got home at about 7pm. When I drove through the gates and up the driveway the house seemed quieter than usual. There were no cars out front so my sisters were not home but I knew both Mom and Dad always parked in the garage. I picked up my stuff and went to the front door where I rang the bell before I opened the door and walked in.

Mom came over to me as soon as I dropped my stuff on the floor and hugged me tight. She started crying almost instantly. I hugged her back and gave her a minute to adjust and ease up her crying. Her arms were around my shoulders and my arms were around her waist. She is still a beautiful woman and I always enjoy her hugs. It’s just a little sad that she is crying.

She stepped back and held my face in her hands for a moment before she started grooming my hair.

“This must be a girl’s hairstyle,” she said. “It makes you look pretty. The diamond earrings look good on you too. Can we sit down and talk or do you want something to eat?”

“Right now I would like a drink and a beer would go down really good. It was not a difficult drive but it was long enough to make me a little weary. Where’s Dad?” I asked.

“He is sitting out back having a glass of wine by the pool.” Mom said as she went to the fridge to get me a beer. “We are trying to act normal and not make a fuss. Over the next couple of days we have a lot of talking to do but we have decided not to bombard you with questions as soon as you come home.”

She came to me with a beer in a glass. “Go say hello!” she said.

This was a very civilized way of dealing with things. I was ready for a barrage when I walked in the door. I reached for her hand and smiled at her, then I walked down the hall to the back of the house and out onto the pool deck.

Dad got up out of his chair as came to him. He hugged me tight for a lot longer than he usually does then pulled back and held my by the shoulders and looked me over.

“How are you?” he said. “You look healthy and happy and I hope you don’t mind me saying but you look more like Fiona than I remember.”

“That’s OK Dad,” I said. “Looking like Fiona I take as a complement. My sister has always been very pretty.”

I sat next to him and he started asking me about college and lecturers and the buildings and meeting new friends but he didn’t say anything about being a girl. After a few minutes I decided to ask him why.

“Dad, how come you haven’t asked about me going to college as a girl?”

“Because the first thing we want to do is show you that we love you Leslie.” He said. “We want to know how you are, how you enjoy school, how you like your roommates and everything else about you. Yes we want to know about the other thing, but first of all we love you and we want you to remain Leslie, our beautiful child.”

“I know you love me Dad. You keep on proving it. I thought me coming home like this would put you under a strain.”

“Yes there is some strain Leslie but provided you know that we love you now just as much as we always have, then we hope to take some of the strain away. We don’t want to push you into telling us before you are ready and we certainly don’t want to push you away.”

“Do you want me to talk about it now” I asked.

“I know we will be talking about it soon enough but it is not something I am looking forward to. It's like having a sore tooth pulled out. After it is gone I am sure everything will feel a lot better but I am not looking forward to the actual pulling.”

“Dad!” I said a little apprehensively. “I think it would be good for us all if I go upstairs and put on a dress and some make-up. Is that OK with you?”

He rolled his eyes and looked away and put his hand to his mouth like he wanted to bite his own finger. He took a few seconds to answer.

“Of course, please,” he said. “I would like to meet my new daughter.”

I am not totally sure that he was looking forward to it but the pulling teeth reference made sense. I got up and grabbed his shoulder for reassurance then I walked back into the house looking for Mom. She was in the kitchen.

“Look Mom,” I said walking into the Kitchen. “I honestly feel a bit silly walking around in baggy shorts like this after wearing girl’s clothes all week. I am going to go upstairs and put a dress on. Is that OK with you?”

She didn’t answer for a couple of seconds. “Can I come with you?” she asked.

I thought this was a strange request. “Why Mom?”

“Moms always like to help their daughters dressing no matter how old they are Leslie.”

“I am going to get a shower first Mom then you can come up OK?”

“Sure Leslie.” Now she smiled for the first time since I came in.

I headed up the stairs with my red suitcase with my clean clothes and a bag of dirty clothes over my shoulder. Once in my bedroom I looked through the clothes I could wear and I selected a black woven business dress to wear that Fiona selected for me. It was sleeveless and had a high neckline and the hem was just above the knee, but with the fitted shape of this dress and my corset I knew I would look very feminine but conservative.

I took my clothes into the bathroom and showered, covering my hair because I needed help with my hair if I washed it. I dried myself and put on panties, bra with breast forms and corset. Then I set about adding make-up. I had foundation on and had started doing my eyes in the bathroom mirror before Mom came knocking at the door. I let her in.

She looked me up and down as she came in. “You are definitely not the boy I remember!” she said obviously surprised at my new shape.

“There is a little cheating going on Mom, but underneath it’s still me.”

You know it didn’t feel one bit creepy or strange to have my Mom walk in while I was wearing a corset and bra. I wanted her to see how good I looked in them. I would probably be more embarrassed if she came in while I was wearing boy boxers.

“I was hoping to see you without a bra actually. Fiona said you have breasts.”

I took my Bra and breast forms off and placed them on the chair next to me. Mom looked at my breasts then she asked me to hold my arms extended in front of me and press my palms together. As I did this my Mom felt the breast tissue obviously trying to assess how much or what it was.

“You have breast tissue Leslie. I suspect it is gynecomastia but you will need to see a doctor about it.”

“What is gynecomastia Mom?”

“It is a condition where a boy or man grows breast tissue. There can be a few different reasons like a hormone imbalance or a reaction to some medication you once took. It could be other things but you do need to see a doctor to find out exactly what has caused it.”

“Do you think there might be something wrong Mom?”

“Honestly Leslie there must be something not quite right for you to get it, but it is a well know and well described condition. It may not require treatment, but it might. First you must see a doctor, but don’t worry about it now. I am pretty sure it won’t be urgent.”

“Should I make an appointment to see Doctor Polinski,” I asked.

“I think you should see a specialist so you can talk about your other condition at the same time.”

“What other condition Mom?” I asked.

“You gender condition Leslie,” she said.

“I don’t have a gender condition Mom, I am just enjoying being a girl,” I said.

Mom withdrew into herself for a moment like she was trying to phrase her reply.

“Leslie, I do not know why you have suddenly begun to dress as a woman. This need to dress as a woman I believe is a condition that should be discussed with a gender specialist who at the same time could discuss your breast condition.”

“Do you think there is something wrong with me Mom?”

“Leslie please don’t try to push me into saying something I don’t want to say. I will not use the words wrong and normal to discuss this. I will talk about your condition as is refers to you and your wellbeing.”

“So now you think I am not normal?”

“Don’t try to push me into using words that don’t apply Leslie.” Now she turned. It sounded like I was now in for one of Mom’s lectures.

“Let’s look at the word normal Leslie and how it would apply to our family.”

“Your dad has more hair that Robin Williams. It grows its way out of every piece of clothing we try to put on him. I could take him to get waxed all over but it would be growing back before I got him home. Is that normal?”

“What about me. I am tall and skinny and have no tits whatsoever. I doesn’t matter what I eat I can never put on any weight. I am pushing 50 and from the neck down I look like a child. Is that normal?”

“Look at your sister Dawn. She is the perfect normal shape for a woman except she has these massive breasts that make every man in every room she goes into turn around and stare. Is that normal? If it were normal they wouldn’t stare.”

“Normal is a word we use to describe the range of difference from the average, and you know that we are not all average but that does not mean that we are not normal. You are a mathematician Leslie so you understand standard deviation so are you under the bell curve or outside it. As far as I am concerned you are well under the bell curve and within the norms for what we expect a human being to be. You are not average Leslie but you are just another wonderful variation that proves how beautiful humans can be.”

She needed a hug after that so I gave her one. She cried in my arms a little. I wiped a tear from her eye with my thumb and I kissed her on the cheek. She kissed me on the lips. A beautiful mother’s kiss that I don’t remember getting for a while.

“Sounds like you have been saving that up for a while?” I said. “Thanks Mom. I knew you would always accept me but it feels rewarding to be spoken of in that way.”

“You are my precious child,” she said recovering her composure. “You are exactly what I expected and exactly what I wanted. You are Leslie Haigt. Now finish your make-up so we can see this beautiful woman you have been hiding from us for so long.”

I always knew that my parents loved me, but it was sure good to get that feeling reinforced every once in a while. Mom left me getting dressed so I completed my make-up and put special effort in trying to look perfect for them.

I tried to look as good as Fiona or Barbara because were my role models for elegance as I grew up. Dawn too but she did go through a little trashy period. I was trying to ensure that there wasn’t a single component of my make-up that you could point to for being out of place or noticeable. I wanted my make-up to complement what I had rather than creating something that I wasn’t. It looked pretty good to me but I wasn’t the judge.

I spent a little extra time tightening my corset and adjusting my boobs so I could look as absolutely feminine as possible for them. I put on a full length slip then stepped into the dress.

On a hanger this dress didn’t look like much, but when I put it on it fit my shape exactly. It was a tiny bit tight under my boobs and I could feel the form fitting way it followed my shape down to my waist. OK so I understand that it would not fit me unless I wore the corset but it was still me under there and it felt wonderfully feminine.

I didn’t wear tights but I put my heeled gladiator sandals on then I went back to my room to get some jewelry. I could see Mom sitting in her bedroom looking down the hall obviously waiting to catch a glimpse.

“Leslie,” she called. I went into her room to see her.

“Can I offer you some jewelry?” she asked.

“What do you mean Mom, offer?”

“I have lots of jewelry that I don’t wear and I know it can be expensive for a young person. You can have some of mine to borrow or to have, whatever makes you feel comfortable. I have a beautiful single string of pearls and matching earrings that you can wear with that black dress.”

She showed me. They were beautiful. I put them on.

“I also have a couple of spare watches that you can have,” and she handed me a beautiful gold Seiko watch.

I felt like the prodigal child returning to be offered the gifts that the other children did not get.

“Are you sure Mom? Won’t this upset the others?”

“We have been giving our daughters beautiful jewelry for years Leslie. You are the one that missed out. Just borrow them for now and we can discuss it another time.”

She also gave me a bracelet for my other wrist. I hugged her and thanked her. I felt like a million dollars. Then I started crying. This was a little overwhelming. I expected to me poked, prodded and questioned and all I get is flattery, support and gifts.

“Just take your time and make yourself comfortable them come and join us downstairs. We are going to have dinner now. Barbara and Dawn with Mark are here.”

I felt a slight flutter in my stomach. Well if I wasn’t nervous before then I should be now. My Dad, Barbara and Mark had not seen me as a girl before. But this was not my first big reveal. I would say I was slightly apprehensive rather than nervous.

OK so this was it. Final preparations included pit stop in the bathroom then fix my make-up and a final look in the mirror to verify that I looked perfect.

You know even though I do say it myself I looked pretty damn hot. I reminded myself of Martina McBride in an old photo I used to like. OK so I may not be as pretty as Martina McBride but I still looked good. With my confidence boosted I walked from my room, down the hallway and started to descend the stairs.

Our stairs are made from oak with no carpet, so as there was no music playing anyone downstairs could hear as I started to walk down the stairs. They call came from the kitchen and dining room to see me.

Dad came first from the kitchen followed by Mom. Dad came right to the foot of the stairs. Dawn came next holding Mark’s hand followed by Barbara who came over and held Mom’s arm. As I got to the bottom of the stairs Dad reached up for my hand.

“The moment we have been waiting for, may I present my beautiful youngest daughter Leslie!”

With that I stepped off the stairs and stood in front of everyone. I turned to Dad first and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. Mom came over to me then and gave me a quick hug then Barbara came over and rather meekly held out her hands to me. I think she was on the verge of crying but she held it back. I gave her a long hug.

“It’s not going to be easy you know,” said Barbara. “Fiona is not here so I am going to get you mixed up with her.”

“That’s OK Barbara,” I said. “If you mistake me for Fiona I will take it as a complement.”

“You are just as pretty as any of us you know Leslie,” she said. “Every moment you stand there you confirm what we used to say when you were little; that you were Fiona’s identical twin just delayed a year.”

“I know. Back at college a lot of people have remarked on it already. They have been asking how to tell us apart.”

“So how do we tell?”

“Come on Barbara. You must be able to tell us apart.”

“I hope I can, but right now I look at you and I see Fiona with short hair. That is what Dawn said when she met you on the street. Fiona with short hair.” Dawn, Mark and Mom and Dad were surrounding me now.

“So give your prettiest sister a hug now Leslie!” said Dawn and I did. It was a little difficult to get close to her now because now we both had tits, but somehow we managed. Dawns tits were big but they were squishy. “Mark wants a hug too Leslie.”

I looked at him but I wasn’t sure he wanted a hug from me.

“Hug the both of you,” she commanded. “My sister and my husband are going to be friends, just as Mark is with my other sisters.”

Mark gave me a hug but he didn’t kiss me on the cheek like the others did. “Nice to meet you again Leslie,” he said while he smiled at me and looked me over.

“While you are there Mark give Barbara a hug too.” So he did.

“After dinner we are going out the four of us Leslie,” said Dawn. “We are going down to the Fox Hollow for a drink or two. Mark is DD.

“But I can’t drink so I could drive,” I said.

“But Fiona can drink and she has been a regular there during the summer. Just remember your name is Fiona and we don’t have a problem,” said Dawn, ever the schemer.

“Let’s go have dinner everyone,” said Dad, so we all moved into the dining room. Mom had made lots of different salads and ingredients spread around the table and we were instructed to dig in. I went straight for the spinach and added peppers, olives, onions and a whole host of other stuff.

Dad made sure we all had a glass of wine and Mom came around with some hot salmon and chicken to top the salads with and we all had a good feast. Afterwards there were chocolate goodies which is always my favorite part. There were other sweet things there too but I never look at them if I see my favorite chocolate.

When the feeding frenzy had died down, the conversation died down a little and Mom turned to me. “We didn’t ask you or prepare you for this but we thought this might be a good time to tell us what happened Leslie. Do you feel comfortable talking about this to us all?”

“It’s OK Mom, I can handle it. I kind of prepared myself for something like this on the way up.”

I poured myself a little more wine, cleared my throat which seemed to get everyone’s attention, and then I started my story.

“This story starts when I was very small. I do not know how old I was but one of the earliest memories of being happy involves me wearing a dress and playing with my sisters. I don’t remember putting the dress on or asking to be in a dress, but I was in a dress. I remember it because my sisters were all wearing dresses and it made me happy to be like my sisters.”

“I didn’t ever care what I was doing, provided it was with my sisters. I felt safe and loved and happy when I could be with my sisters. This was especially true of Fiona. I grew up so close to Fiona that we used to have to move each other out of the way to do the simplest things. It seems at time that I grew up touching Fiona.”

“Even now when I go to sleep at night, I sleep best when I imagine Fiona next to me. Have you ever noticed that when we are in the same room, especially when we sit on a sofa, that Fiona sits so close to me that I have no place to put my arm. That’s what safe and happy feels like to me. Someday I hope to feel that way about someone else, and that will be the person I will want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“I also remember photographs of when we used to play girls games together. In the photo’s there were sometimes two Fiona’s and no Leslie. Honest it was like that sometimes. I was the other Fiona, the one with the short hair.”

“So you get the picture. I really enjoyed wearing dresses and playing with my sisters, but somewhere along the way I had to go to school and I was told that I had to wear boy’s clothes and play with boy’s toys because I was a boy. This was not a terrible painful thing to do. Somewhere inside me there is a boy too and some boys stuff I found really fun, it’s just that I couldn’t do those things when I was with my sisters because they wanted to do girl’s things.”

“There was a period when I could do both. I used to go to school and do boys things with my buddies and have fun. I would also come home and play with by boys stuff and once in a while one of the girls or my Mom and Dad would come and play with me which was great.”

“But then there were other times when the girls used to dress me in their clothes and play girl’s things with me which was also great. But then something happened. My Mom and Dad started telling me that I was too big to be wearing girl’s clothes and I should be playing with my boy buddies more often, so the dressing in girl’s clothes happened less and less often till eventually it just stopped.”

“I don’t remember when it stopped, but I do remember missing it. I would make myself available and hang out where the girls were but they just never asked me. I remember asking if we could dress up a couple of times but whoever it was said we can’t do that anymore and that was that, but I never stopped thinking about it.”

“I still had a close relationship with Fiona at this time. There were things we did together especially playing board games with the rest of the family. Sometimes we could get all six of us around a Monopoly game and the best part about playing Monopoly was sitting next to Fiona. I always had my best games when I sat next to Fiona and I was always just as happy that Fiona won if I couldn’t because I always thought we were a team together.”

“After the dressing up stopped I never forgot it. It just rested in the back of my mind waiting to get out. It took a few years before it go out again.”

“Leslie!” my Dad interrupted me. “Are you saying that there was a girl inside you, all this time?”

“Yes I am. I didn’t always recognize it as a girl inside me trying to get out. I thought of it as a dark secret that no one wanted to know about. I had been told that it was wrong and I shouldn’t do it and I did what I was told, but now I think of it as a girl hidden inside me.”

“But I was living in a house with 4 women. There were women’s clothes everywhere, so I started to wear women’s clothes when nobody was looking, and as I got older and more responsible I got left on my own in the house more often. I used to find girls clothes in the house to wear.”

“Fortunately there was always the closet in the spare room where my sisters used to keep their old dresses and stuff. There were occasions when I raided my sister bedrooms but it was no often and when I started working part time jobs, I often had money to but my own things.”

“Every couple of months for the last few years I would make a shopping trip into Philly or King of Prussia or somewhere similar. I would go to buy girls clothes have lunch and go home. Sometimes I would buy myself something, then go to a movie, but I before I went into the movie I would go to the bathroom and put whatever I had bought on under my regular clothes, then watch the movie. No one ever noticed and it made me feel more like a girl.”

“I do believe my sisters noticed that I was using their clothes, but you all decided not to confront me,” I said directing my comment towards Mom and Dad.

“That’s true,” said Dad. “I went to see a Gender Identity Specialist in Philly one time. I told him what we knew about your dressing. He told me not to turn it into a problem. There are many different variations on the need to cross dress he said. He could not know which one it was. If it is simply sexual gratification and it is not hurting anyone then why not leave it alone.”

“If it is a more serious case of gender identity disorder then we would see some signs. He said that depression is the most serious side effect of a gender identity disorder and that if I was happy and well-adjusted then I probably wasn’t in need of intervention. He persuaded me Leslie that if you had a problem and especially if you were depressed then maybe some sort of intervention could be discussed.”

My Dad continued. “He also told me that if we love you unconditionally and showed that to you often, that you would come to us with your problems and concerns. He said there would be signs and that you would find a way to tell us, but we never saw any signs, so we didn’t do anything.”

“I do feel the unconditional love,” I said, “but I also remember that it was wrong to wear women’s clothing so I thought the right thing to do was to hide it. I just got into a pattern and it carried on till recently.”

“Listening to your story Leslie made me realize that there was one thing I did wrong that I wish I could do over,” said my Dad. “Listening to you now I never knew about just how much time you spend in girl’s clothes when you were younger.”

“When I spoke to the Gender Identity Specialist I dismissed that part as unimportant. I don’t even know if I mentioned it. Therefore there was a big piece missing from his puzzle and therefore he gave us a path forward without knowing the entire story. This may be why you were so good a hiding it from us because the ‘wrong’ of it had been emphasized more than I realized.”

“Water under the bridge Dad,” I said. “So that brings you up to the moment when I went to find myself an apartment in Mount Laurel.”

“The University sent me a newspaper with all of the advertised rooms in Mount Laurel and the surrounding areas. I selected some nice sounding apartments and made some appointments over the phone. I didn’t realize that the adds were in two sections. I was reading from the girl’s section. A fact that was pointed out to me after I moved into the apartment.”

“Listen before I go too far with this,” I interrupted myself. “let’s get some things straight. I know I sound like a girl sometimes and even more often I get mistaken for a girl because I look like one. This used to upset me because everyone said I was a boy and I shouldn’t look and sound or look like a girl, but it’s OK now. I take it as a complement now. That is all part of the story because sometimes, before last week, I thought I was just being a normal boy.”

“Leslie, that way you talk now it sounds like you are saying that you were a boy last week but now you are a girl. Do you actually believe that?” asked my Dad.

“I must admit that this is still new to me Dad, but yes. I feel like I am a girl now, and I don’t want to pretend to be a boy any more.”

“But what about your boy friends from high school? What are you going to tell them? Have you spoken to any of them since?” asked my Mom.

“No I haven’t. I didn’t really have a best friend apart from Fiona. They were all just guys who already had best friends that I hung around with. I will have to speak to them some time, but I haven’t considered that yet.”

“So I showed up at the first apartment. The girl’s in it were really nice. So there is my first mistake. I didn’t know that the apartments were divided up into girls and boys. The girls in the apartment seemed to like me and they said I would be welcome to stay with them. They thought I was a girl. They were assuming that I just dressed badly and one of them thought I might be a lesbian trying to look like a boy.”

“I was going to stop you there,” said Barbara, “because you said girl’s apartment, but then I thought were else would you be living when you look like you do?”

“Exactly,” I said. “I couldn’t believe my luck. I just thought that they were nice girls accepting of a smart, well presented young boy who needed a place to stay. I must admit that I decided not to tell you guys about it because I didn’t know if you would like me staying in an apartment with 3 girls.”

“The following day I went back to the apartment with some things, which included a red suitcase of my own girl’s clothes that I wanted to move without you guys knowing anything about it. Even while I was there one of my roommates, MJ, stands for Mary Jane, asked me if I mind being called a pretty boy. My sisters and other people had used that expression about me many times so I thought nothing of it at the time, but I have since found out that when one lesbian woman says that to another, it is making a pass. She thought I was a girl trying to look like a boy.”

“So the day after that I stayed home, but at the apartment the dean of admissions office had called the girls in the apartment and asked to confirm if the Leslie Haigt that the girls had registered as being a roommate, was actually a girl because their records showed me as a boy, so they looked in my suitcase and found girls clothes.”

“Why didn’t they just call your old school?” said my Dad.

“Because it was Saturday,” I continued. “The admissions office said they would correct the records, but if there was a problem then my roommates should call back. The admissions office also said that there was not a single room available for a boy for ten miles in any direction. That would play a roll later.”

“After we were all here on Saturday, I left here Sunday just a 19 year old boy heading to university for the first time. When I got into the apartment and started settling in, the girls started asking some strange questions to find out if I was a boy or a girl without asking me directly. It was kind of odd but eventually I got the picture. So I told them I was a boy, then I had a decision to make.”

“These are the facts. Let’s see what solutions you could all come up with.”

“I was in a girl’s only apartment. All of the boy’s apartments were full for miles around. The admissions office had been told I was a girl and had changed my records. I had a suitcase full of my girls’ clothes in my bedroom and I love wearing girl’s clothes and I could easily look like a girl. The girls in the apartment refused to allow a boy to stay in their apartment, but if I admitted to them that I wanted to be a girl and dressed the whole time as a girl, then I could stay with them.”

“So what did you do?” said Barbara.

I lifted my hands above the table, flipped open my palms and looked at her.

“You told them that you wanted to live full time as a girl.”

“Sure did!”

“So why didn’t they call the dean’s office and have you thrown out?”

“I guess they like me!”

“And you have been going to school every day dressed as a girl?”

“You bet. It’s marvelous.”

“Doesn’t anyone at the school say anything?”

“Like what. The dean’s office think that someone checked M instead of F and they corrected it. Everyone thinks I am a girl.”

“So what happens if someone finds out?”

“Find out what. I am a college student. There is nothing in the admissions information telling me how to dress. My student card doesn’t even have gender on it. What rules am I breaking?”

“So what happens when someone kisses you?” said Barbara.

“I like being kissed. What’s the problem?”

“Now you are being flippant Leslie,” my dad said. “The silly girl side of you is coming out now. What happens when a boy wants to kiss you and you want to kiss him?”

“I have made up my mind that I will never kiss anyone who does not know my condition.”

“What condition?” said Dawn.

“The fact that I am a boy underneath.” I said. “If I kiss a boy and he thinks that I am a girl then I could get in serious trouble, up to and including a good beating.”

“So what about that boy you kissed on Monday night? said Dawn.”

“OK so I made one mistake, but I apologized and told him I can’t see him again.”

“So what did he say when you told him you were a boy?”

“I didn’t tell him I was a boy Dawn, I said I was sorry but I can’t see him anymore.”

“Honestly Leslie this sounds dangerous,” said my Mom. “You have already kissed one boy and you have only been there 5 days. You will have to promise to stay away from boys and concentrate on your school work.”

I am definitely not going to mention the other people I have kissed. “I am going to concentrate on my school work, playing guitar with Fiona and my dramatic society gig.”

“OK that’s another wrinkle,” said Dawn. “What is the dramatic society gig?”

“The dramatic society is doing a play and they want me to play a part.”

“What part,” asked Dawn.

I was not going to tell her. That would open up another can of worms. “Don’t know yet. I will find out next week.”

“So I think we have questioned Leslie enough for now,” said Dawn. “Can we take her out to the Fox Hollow for a drink?”

Dad and Mom looked at each other before they said anything. “You 3 will have to take care of her. She has never been there before and she is still a little under age.”

“We will Mom,” said Dawn and Barbara together.

Dawn dragged Barbara into I into the powder room while Mark went for the car. Dawn and I started to touch up our make-up in the mirror while Barbara stood behind us.

“This is insane,” said Barbara behind us. “This feels exactly like me, Dawn and Fiona going out together like we did a couple of weeks ago, except that Fiona is now Leslie. I know it’s you Leslie, but I can’t stop seeing Fiona.”

“You can call me Fiona if you want Barbara if it makes you feel any better,” I said.

“We will both be calling you Fiona because Leslie is not old enough to drink and Fiona is well known there and they know she just turned 21. You will have to remember Leslie that if anyone says to you ‘Hi Fiona how have you been?’ you must answer like you know who they are and you are glad to see them.”

“This is going to be crazy. I have to pretend to be Fiona all night?”

“You certainly do Leslie, and from what you said earlier you will love it.”

I knew she was right. We went outside and got into Mark’s car and headed down the road to the Fox Hollow Pub and Eatery.

----------------

This story has absolutely nothing to do with Martina McBride, apart from the fact that the author has had a tiny crush on her for the last 20 years, and maybe Leslie has a very minor resemblance to Martina.

Martina McBride - This One's For The Girls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTowId2CWHA

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 14.

Fox Hollow. Friday night September 13th

We got in the car and Mark began to drive us to the Fox Hollow Pub and Eatery. I sat in the back of Marks’ Jeep Grand Cherokee with Barbara. It wasn’t a new car but it was still nice.

I asked Barbara, “what do you think of me becoming a girl?”

“You know it is really strange Leslie but I feel like you have finally come home again. I missed my extra little sister and when you had to be a boy going to school and I was disappointed because part of me treated you as Fiona’s twin sister.”

“Me too,” I said. “There were times when I so much wanted to be Fiona’s twin sister that every time anyone would say make a wish, then to be Fiona’s twin sister is what I wished for. Fortunately Fiona would snuggle up to me so often that it made me feel better, but I was missing something for so long, I feel like I have it back now.”

“You know Barbara, Fiona told me that you used to sneak into my bed and cuddle me. I know that Fiona did it a lot, but she says that sometimes she would come to my bedroom and there would be no room for her because you were already in my bed with me.”

“Well we all like to sleep next to someone sometimes,” said Fiona. “Mom and Dad have each other but also Dad snores and Mom has restless legs. Dawn and I would often sleep in each other’s beds, but as she got older she kept inconsistent bedtimes. You and Fiona would sleep together like twins and when there was enough room I would like to join you both.”

“It was always wonderful to see you and Fiona asleep together because you both smile in your sleep like two little angels. Last winter when I had finished uni and Fiona had just started, I occasionally came into your room and slept beside you for a while, but I always left before you woke up and I don’t think you ever realized it.”

“I remember many times waking thinking that it feels like Fiona has been with me all night but she couldn’t have because she is in Philly at her Dorm.”

“That was probably me,” said Barbara.

“So next time stay in bed till I wake up!”

“OK,” she said.

We pulled into the parking lot of the Fox Hollow. The pub looked to be converted from a huge old house surrounded by big trees. The lights from the windows looked very warm and friendly but as we stepped out of the car I could feel a chill on my bare arms and legs. Perhaps I should have work tights?

Inside the pub was warm and friendly. The walls were white and there was lots of exposed oak framework giving the appearance of and old English house although I got the feeling that some of the rooms were new and only looked like they were old. There were red patterned carpets on the floor and all of the oak furniture was trimmed in tan leather.

We attracted lots of attention as we walked in. Dawn led the way of course and everyone likes to look at Dawn, even the women, but I think Barbara and I got some admiring long glances too.

We found a partially private alcove near the far end of the room. The seats were raised and we could see over the heads of most everyone in the room, and most everyone could look down the room and see us. Mark came down the room a few moments after we were seated and drew some admiring glances for himself. He is a very handsome man. Dawn has good taste.

As we sat down my phone rang. The picture of Eliot, one of my guitar playing buddies from high school was calling. I answered it.

“Hey Elliot.”

“Hey Leslie. I called your house and your Mom told me you were home this weekend. What are you doing?”

“I am out with my sisters. Where are you?”

“I am at Fox Hollow with my family having a meal. Do you want to do something tomorrow?”

I wave of panic swept across me as I found out that my friend Eliot was somewhere in the pub close to me, but then I realized that Eliot told me he had a gay cousin that he occasionally hung out with. I decided I should take the chance and start telling my friends.

I resumed talking to Eliot. “Are you homophobic?” I asked him.

Barbara’s and Dawn’s attention picked up what I was saying.

“No, not at all. You know my cousin is gay and we hang out. You have met him.”

“Good,” I said. “I am just checking. Listen to me Eliot!”

“What Leslie, I am listening to you.”

“I have something I need to show you. It’s a secret that not many people know but you are my friend so I want you to know OK?”

“OK Leslie I get it. What’s the problem?

“I am here at Fox Hollow. Will you meet me at the front door right now?”

“Right now?” he said, “OK,”, and I hung up.

“What’s happening,” said Dawn and Barbara together.

“I am just going to meet a friend from high school.”

“Dressed like that. You are crazy,” said Dawn.

“This should be fun,” I said.

I got up to go back to the front door. Dawn and Barbara got up and followed me but stayed back so they could see from a distance.

Elliot is a kind boy, a few months older than me. A little taller than me with long brown hair to his shoulders, he was looking quite handsome today wearing a white tee shirt under a jacket.

Eliot got to the doorway ahead of me and stood looking around. I stood in the entrance about six feet from him and looked at him. He ignored me and looked past me into the restaurant. Now that I was wearing heels I was about the same size as him. He gave me a couple of glances as he was looking around but obviously didn’t recognize me.

“Eliot,” I said and just looked at him.

“Hello,” he said looking at me with a kind of blank what’s going on look on his face.

“Eliot.” I said again. He looked directly at me, then it clicked. He got this funny twitch then bounced back against the wall.

“What the fuck!” he said looking into my eyes like I was the ghost of Christmas past.

“What do you think Eliot?” I asked.

“Fuck me Leslie what have you done?”

“That’s no way to treat a friend Eliot. You should say something nice to a girl.”

“But the last time I looked Leslie you were a boy.”

“Shhh, Eliot please don’t say that too loud. Please remember that it’s only a month ago you were the one who told me I looked like a girl.”

“But Jesus Leslie this is different. You are a girl now, but how can you be?”

“I was always a girl Eliot. I have just been pretending to be a boy, but it’s a long story and I can’t tell you now but I will tell you tomorrow if you want.”

I was still out on a limb here but I knew that Eliot was a good guy and I thought he might enjoy some fun.

“Hey Eliot,” I said. “Do you want to introduce me to your family? You could tell them I am your girlfriend.”

“They would never believe I have a girlfriend as pretty as you.”

“They will if I kiss you,” I said.

“Fuck Leslie. Now you want me to kiss you.”

“Just a little fun Eliot. You will totally shock you family and you never know you might enjoy it.

“You are not gay are you?” asked Eliot.

“Do I look like I’m gay,” I asked him.

“Whatever gay looks like you don’t look it,” said Eliot.

“Just believe you are kissing a pretty girl and we can talk about it tomorrow,” I said.

“But I would be kissing my buddy!” he said.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Well do you want to kiss me or not Eliot?”

“Er yeh I kindof do! But what would I call you?”

“Leslie sounds like a good name to me,” I said.

“OK Leslie,” he said.

“This feels fucking weird Leslie!”

“No it isn’t Eliot. You are just a boy who wants to kiss a pretty girl. I am pretty aren’t I”

“You are fucking gorgeous Leslie.”

“OK,” I said, “so lead me to your family.” I slipped my hand in his and he led me into the dining room. As we passed Dawn and Barbara their jaws dropped in surprise and I smiled and waved at them. They had no idea what was happening.

Eliot stopped by his family’s table and I didn’t recognize any of them.

“Hi Mom,” he said. “I didn’t know she was going to be here but I want to introduce you to my girlfriend Leslie.”

There were six people at the table and their jaws all dropped in unison. I did kind of a little curtsy, smiled and waved my fingers at everyone. The big guy nearest me stood up and offered his hand. He was about 6’-4” and 300 lbs with a light brown beard. I guess it was his Dad.

“Oh hi,” he said as I looked up to meet his gaze. “Nice to meet you Leslie.”

There was a woman at the other end of the table who I am guessing was Eliot’s Mother couldn’t move because the chairs were blocking her in. She spoke next. “We always assumed you were a boy Leslie. Eliot never actually said you were his girlfriend to us.”

“I usually dress more like a boy anyway. Mostly we are just friends but he wanted to tell you about me.”

The pretty girl about 12 next to her father asked. “Will you come and visit us Leslie?”

“I would like to but I am at university in New Jersey. I am only home for a quick visit with my parents. Maybe at Christmas or something.”

“Would you like to sit with us Leslie?” The bigger brother next to Eliot asked.

“I can’t sorry. I am here with my sisters.” I turned around towards the door and waved to Dawn and Barbara. They waved back.

“I have to go now,” said. “Come and visit me tomorrow Eliot.”

Then I quickly put my arms around his head hand kissed him slowly on the lips before he could change his mind. I felt his arms go around my waist and he opened his lips just a little so I slipped my tongue in and it touched his. I pulled back and we let go. He had this astonished look on his face that I actually found pleasing.

I looked at him smiling. “I have to go so I will see you tomorrow Eliot.” I said then I kissed him on the cheek, turned around and walked away towards a shocked looking Dawn and Barbara.

I walked back to a stunned Barbara and Dawn and we walked back to our seats in the bar.

“What on earth was that Leslie?” asked Barbara.

“Oh we were just having some fun with his family. They knew Eliot and I hung around together, but they just didn’t know I was a girl.”

“But Leslie you’re!” Barbara didn’t complete her sentence.

“We know what I am,” I said. “But they don’t. They will be very impressed that their son, brother whatever has such a pretty girlfriend.”

“You will totally mess him up. He will have a crush on you if he doesn’t have one already.”

“Look I know I won’t turn him to the dark side if he isn’t already that way inclined,” I said.

“You don’t know the power of a pretty face and you right now are as pretty as any woman in here. You may already have messed him up for life,” said Dawn.

“Dawn, Barbara and Fiona,” a deep voice right behind me interrupted us. “I can’t believe no one has brought you ladies drinks yet. I can guess what Dawn and Barbara want but Fiona you always seem to be trying something different.”

“Oh hey Ralph great to see you again,” said Barbara and Dawn.

I turned around to find this attractive heavy set man maybe 40ish with short blonde hair and a light beard standing next to me.

“Oh Hi Ralph,” I said and I opened up my arms to hug him and he bent down to kiss me on the cheek and I kissed his neck. He smelled like he had been working hard.

“A hug from Fiona!” he said. “I feel honored.”

“You deserve it Ralph,” I said.

“This is my husband Mark,” said Dawn. Mark held out his hand to Ralph and they shook.

“I think you have been here before Mark am I right?” asked Ralph.

“A few times,” said Mark, “but sometimes the sisters come here on their own and leave me to do the house work,” said Mark.

“Housework,” said Dawn, “just as if you would do any house work!”

“Red wine merlot or cab sav please Ralph,” I said.

“You said you didn’t like red wine last week Fiona!” said Ralph.

“That was last week,” I said.

“Don’t worry Fiona I will find you a good one. Are you ladies going to be singing tonight?” he asked the group of us.

I wanted to jump in and ask questions but I didn’t know what had been going on.

“We might be able to find a song to do. We can always persuade Fiona to sing and play at the drop of a hat,” said Dawn.

Ralph went off for the drinks so Dawn moved closer and started asking question.

“So when do you start getting so confident and outgoing Fiona,” she asked. I have never seen you like this before. The young person that I remember would stand in a corner, kick the carpet and say nothing.”

“I think it is the power of the dress,” I said. “I have never felt so alive so free and so unrestrained, and so attractive. When I was, you know before, I felt like nobody was interested. Maybe you three but none of your friends were interested. I hated being the odd person out. Also the age thing got in the way.”

“I had friends from school but many of them were nerds and we would play video games on line, maybe play some guitar and stuff. We had out mountain bikes too and we would bike all over the place. Eliot is one of those friends.”

Ralph came over with the drinks and we thanked him.

“Hey er, Fiona.” Mark asked. “I know what goes on in high school. I was a little puny when I was younger and got bullied, but I had my growth spurt early and became a bit of a jock. Did you ever get bullied because you were small and let’s face it a little feminine?”

“I had my own private bodyguard,” I told them. “When we lived in town before we moved out here we lived next door to Alan Buttonfield. We kind of grew up together and went to kindergarten, primary, middle school then high school together. We didn’t hang out a lot but every once in a while he would call me up and we would hang out.”

“He was always bigger, stronger and faster than me but he was still my friend. When the school bullies tried to pick on me he always stepped in. Nobody picks on him. He is on a football scholarship to Penn State.”

“So when did you last see Alan?” asked Dawn.

“About a month ago. We had a couple of beers down at Bullfrog Lake one hot night.”

“Just you and Alan Butterfield, down at Bullfrog Lake one night. Did you kiss him?”

“Let me get this straight.” I said. “Leslie the boy was never gay. He never thought about kissing boys until I put on a dress. Everything is different now of course.”

“But we know you have been wearing dresses for years. Did you never think about it then?” asked Barbara.

“I try not to get things too jumbled up in my mind. Back then when I was doing things on my own and nobody knew. It was like a fantasy that I never thought would come true. None of that was real, but this is real. This is me and I am a girl now and I am never going back again.”

Just someone called my name. “Hey Fiona!” I looked over and there was a tall blonde good looking guy walking towards me. “Hey Fiona,” he said. “You told me you weren’t coming home this weekend.” Then he put his arms right around my and gave me a massive hug and he kissed me on the neck right under my ear. I got shivers all over, but then I realized that Barbara was pulling him away from me and they disappeared out of the front door. The aroma of his beautiful cologne hung around me for a moment.

“What on earth was that?” I said.

“”That was Andy,” said Dawn. “One of Fiona’s boyfriends.”

“What do you mean one of her boyfriends?”

“She has a couple of guys she is seeing. Neither of them is serious right now and she doesn’t know which one to pick. Don’t worry the other one lives in Philly so he won’t be here tonight.”

“She never tells you about any of her boyfriends,” said Dawn. “It embarrasses her for some reason. It’s not just you, she won’t talk to dad about her boyfriend’s either. She is very shy about some things.”

“She has never ever mentioned to me that she has ever had a boyfriend,” I said.

“She has had plenty, believe me. There are a couple of her ex-boyfriends in this room.”

“You know,” I said. “I have a feeling tonight she was seeing that guy from my class who I kissed earlier in the week, Lawrence. Maybe she now has 3 boyfriends. We best not speak of it in front of Andy then.”

Barbara and Andy came back in the room. Both of them smiling. I could only guess what Barbara had said to him.

“Fiona,” he said, “I am really happy to see you. I do see now that you are wearing your hair shorter today and maybe your chin is a little more pointed, but you are just as pretty as you have always been, maybe even prettier. You remember that I usually take you home from here and I hope you will let me take you home again tonight.”

“Andy I got it covered tonight,” said Mark.

“It’s OK Mark.” I said. “I might let Andy take me home. We might find something interesting to talk about on the trip.”

“Fiona you are being a little wicked tonight,” said Dawn.

“It’s a short drive home,” I said. “We can’t get into too much trouble, unless we run out of gas or something.”

“But I have plenty of Gas Fiona,” said Andy.

“Then you will have to come with another excuse,” I said. Andy looked at me like the gears were turning in his head and he was planning something.

“Are you going to sing tonight Fiona like you usually do on Fridays?” he asked.

“Andy you do realize that I have never actually been here before. I don’t know what the set up is.”

“Well I was told by a close family member of yours that you sing a lot together at times,” said Andy.

Barbara explained. “Around about now Fiona, Roger Teller, an old friend of Mom and Dad’s plays the electric keyboards in the big room and can play almost anything you can name, provided it’s not too modern.”

“Last time we were here we said we would do ‘Shimmy like my sister Kate,” said Dawn.

“Your kidding,” I said. “I haven’t sung that since we were little girls.”

“Well we are doing it tonight,” she said. “We have been practicing the words and the dance. You could probably remember the steps if you tried.”

“Oh my goodness I probably can. I used to love doing that song.” I said.

It was right about then that we could hear the music start. The keyboard player was obviously good. Although he did start with some older music, but most everybody knew the song. He was playing ‘fly me to the moon’ without singing but he sounded like he had a double bass player with him. He must be playing one of those bass keyboards with his feet.

“I usually sing while playing a guitar,” I said.

“He always has one with him,” said Barbara. “He loves it when people get up and play with him, and remember he knows you Fiona.”

“I will think of something to play,” I said.

Ralph came over with another tray of drinks. “I have saved you guys a table off to the side of the stage in the big room,” he said. “You had better get over there because I don’t know how long I can hold it because the room is filling up.”

“We will head over soon,” said Dawn.

“We didn’t order more drinks Ralph,” said Barbara.

“These are from Ed Green at the bar,” Ralph said indicating towards the far end of the bar where there were a god of guys and one of the was waving at us while the rest looked on.”

“Oh Ed is a real nice guy,” said Barbara who was waving back at Ed.

“Have you gone out with him yet?” asked Mark.

“I had lunch with him the other day,” said Barbara.

“Oh now all the secrets come out. No one tells me anything! I feel left out.” I said.

“Well maybe we will start telling you thing now that you look a little different. We won’t leave you out any more,” said Dawn.

We finished our first drinks then picked up our second and headed around the bar towards the big room. On the way past Ed Green stopped us and Barbara put her arm around him, reached up and kissed him on the cheek.

“You girl’s getting ready to sing?” asked Ed and the guys with him supported him in his question.

“We have a couple of things lined up,” said Dawn. “Fiona is going to do something first.”

“First,” I said. “Who said I was going first?”

“You know the most stuff Fiona,” said Dawn. “You’re the real singer.”

“Shit!” I said. “I might need another glass of wine.”

“Fiona!” said Barbara. “I have never heard you swear before.”

“Oops sorry,” I said. “I must have been picking up bad habits from College.”

Dawn grabbed me by the arm and we left Barbara with Ed and went into the big room with Mark and Andy. As the current song ended we went to the table near the stage with the reserved sign on it. Dawn made signs to Ralph at the bar to confirm we had the right table. As we got to the table Roger on the keyboards started waving to me so I went up on stage and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

“That was nice Fiona,” he said with a big smile on his face. “Can you sing one now before you get settled over there?”

“Sure I said. Favorite mistake OK?”

“You did that last week.”

“Yeh but can we do it this week too?”

“Sure,” I said. “B minor.”

“I know,” he said.

“Can I use your guitar?” I asked.

“You don’t need you guitar for this one.”

“I usually do it playing my own guitar.”

“But you didn’t use it last week. I haven’t set it up yet.”

“OK, OK, I’m ready.”

“Check the mic,” he said.

I tapped it and it wasn’t switched on so I switched it on.

“One two,” I said. Seemed to be working. “OK, Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow.”

He started into the intro and it sounded real cool. Almost like having a full band behind me.

It was really different standing up on the stage on my own, spotlighted and wearing a dress. Different because I was wearing a dress yes, but also because I always sing with sitting on a stool holding and playing a guitar. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I held them down in front of me holding them against the top of my thighs. At least I knew when to start singing.

‘I woke up and called this morning’
‘The sound of your voice was a warning’
‘You don’t care for me anymore.’

During the first verse Barbara came in the room with Ed then she came over and stood by me. I was hoping she was going to sing harmony during the chorus and she did.

She stood silent during the second verse then joined in the second chorus, then I did the big bridge my own,

Nothin’ ever lasts forever,
Even when you live together,
I don’t need happy ever after,
It’s you laughter, won’t let me go so I’m holding on this way.

We finished singing ‘favorite mistake’ and Barbara did a nice job with the harmony.

Roger stopped me. “You sound different tonight Fiona, I don’t know what it is.

“I probably play it in a different key,” I said.

“No,” said Roger, “that isn’t it. You sang it in B minor last time.”

I hadn’t noticed but Ralph had come up and was standing next to me. I went to step off the stage and he stopped me.

“I thought we were going to do ‘Picture’,” he said. I gave him a blank look. I don’t remember it and it must be a ’Fiona’ song that I didn’t know.

“I have forgotten the words,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say.

“I have it on here,” said Roger and he started to thumb through stuff on his IPad.

“You know the song Fiona I know you do. We talked about it a couple of weeks ago,” said Ralph. “Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow.”

OK so now I remembered the song, at least I think I do anyway.

“Here it is!” said Roger handing me his IPad. “Remember you sing the second verse all on your own. What key do you want it in?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “What key do they do it in?”

“I will play it in G. Just follow Ralph if you get lost as he probably knows it better that you do by the sound of it.”

We started into the song and Ralph did a nice job on the first verse then I did the second verse then I have to admit that I go a little bit lost towards the middle but I thought it sounded OK. We got good applause. I gave Ralph a hug and a kiss on the cheek and he seemed to like that.

Roger stopped me again. “You did a good job but you didn’t know it did you. You said you knew it backwards the last time I spoke to you. If I didn’t know better I would say that you are not Fiona. You even look different.”

“OK so what if you are right and I am a little different today. Look can we talk later, because I have a story to tell you,” I said. He said he would see me on the break and I sat down next to Dawn and Barbara.

“What was the problem with Roger,” said Dawn.

“I think he knows I am not Fiona,” I said.

“That could be a tricky one,” she said. “How are you going to explain that away?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I guess I will tell him the truth during the break and ask him not to tell anyone.”

“This should be fun,” said Dawn.

Roger did a couple more songs and he took a break and came over to see me. I told him I couldn’t talk in here so we went out to the front door where it was quieter.

“OK what’s the story?” said Roger.

“Please don’t tell anyone about this, except maybe my Mom and Dad would be OK because they know.”

“Know what?” he said.

“You are a friend of the family. I don’t think you are going to cause me a problem.”

“I am not promising anything yet. Spit it out Fiona.”

“You see there is the problem. I am not Fiona, I am Leslie.”

“But Leslie is a boy, aren’t you. You certainly don’t look like a boy. Are you in drag?”

“This isn’t drag. I was a boy a long time ago and now I am transitioning.”

“But I saw you a month ago. You didn’t look like this then. You were dressed like a boy.”

“I was only dressed like a boy. I have been a girl inside since I can remember. I have been hiding it under boy’s clothes.”

“So why are you out here pretending to be Fiona?”

“Because I am still 19 for a few more weeks. I am not supposed to be in here at all.”

“So you put us through all this crap just so you could get a couple of drinks under age. That sounds irresponsible to me.”

I was trying to be as sweet and feminine as I could at the verge of flirting with him. If he had been younger I might have tried to kiss him, but I thought better of it.

“Look we are just young people out for some fun. We are not hurting anybody with this. You are the only one who noticed because you are a professional musician. Can’t you just let it go for now. It’s not like I am a bad person perverting the justice system or anything. It’s just a bit of fun and a couple of glasses of wine and I am not driving.”

“Well I am not happy about this but I am not going to tell anyone.”

“Would you have been happier if I had let you in on it sooner?”

“You are a cheeky little madam but you are very sweet. I bet you twist your dad around your finger.”

“All of the girl’s do. We love him dearly.”

“And you are a boy?”

“No!” I said. “I used to be a boy a long time ago but I am not a boy any more. I am a girl and don’t you dare believe otherwise.”

“OK I won’t say anything, but I might have to talk to your parents tomorrow.”

“I think tomorrow my parents may want to talk to you about it. But that’s for tomorrow.”

“Are you going to sing any other songs? I will be more prepared now that I know.”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “I think it best if I just stay sat down after that last song.”

“Look, I know you like to play guitar and sing. I will set up the guitar and you come up if you want to.”

“Thanks,” I said. Then I kissed him on the cheek and we went back to the big room arm in arm. He went up on the stage and I went back to my seat.

“You must have been persuasive,” said Dawn. “He actually has a smile on his face. What did you tell him?”

“Well it was mostly the truth,” I said. “With a little creative embellishment.”

“You mean you lied to him?”

“No,” I said. “I just made the truth a little more palatable. I actually think he likes me. He called me a cheeky madam.”

“Well you are!” said Barbara. “You are worse than Dawn.”

“Worse than me you think,” said Dawn. “You must be bad.”

“When are you going to do your little dance Dawn? You know they have been practicing this all week.” Mark said to me. “Are you going to join them? It will be really fun.”

Dawn went up to speak to Roger then came back. “We are on first,” she said. “He is just getting ready.”

“And now for a special treat,” announced Roger over the microphone, “we have the world famous Haigt sisters Dawn, Barbara and Fiona to do their special song ‘I wish I could shimmy like my sister Kate’,”

The three of us dashed up on the stage and Roger started playing the intro as Barbara and I stood off to each side of Dawn as she started to sing the intro.

I never get a chance at romance
The boys all wanna date my sister Kate
Katie never read a book and she never learned to cook
But she's always got a string o' fish upon her hook
When she's around the boys all pass me by
And then last night I learned the reason why

The Barbara and I join in singing harmony like the Beverly sisters and we all sang into the one microphone.

I went to a dance with my sister Kate
I'm tellin' you she was really great
I didn't have to wait all night
Till I began to see the light

Kate did a dance that was somethin' new
She shook her shoulders and then I knew
Why all the boys are going wild
Over sister Katie's style

Oh I wish I could I shimmy like my sister Kate
She shimmies like a jelly on a plate
My mammy wanted to know last night
Why all the boys treat sister Kate so right

Every boy that passes by our neighbourhood
Knows that she can shimmy and she's relly good
I may be late, but I'll be right up to date
When I can shimmy like my sister Kate
Uh-huh, shimmy like my sister Kate

Roger did an instrumental break and we stated dancing.’ First we were bumping our hips together in time to the music then we put our arms out wide and held onto each other and danced across the stage, then you won’t believe how Dawn got down in front of the stage with her arms out wide, leaning forward towards the audience.

She was waggling her shoulders and shimmying across the floor like Marilyn Monroe, only with bigger tits. They were bouncing and giggling all over the place. All the boys in the room were hootin’ , hollerin’ and whistlin’. Mark couldn’t look and had his face bury in his hands.

Dawn came back on the stage and we finished the song.

Oh I wish I could I shimmy like my sister Kate
She shimmies like a jelly on a plate
My mammy wanted to know last night
Why all the boys treat sister Kate so right
I may be late, but I'll be right up to date
When I can shimmy like my sister Kate
Ah shake it, shimmy like my sister Kate
Sweet Papa, shimmy like my sister Kate Ta Da daaaa.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PjO2lYSKZk

The hootin’ , hollerin’ and whistlin’ together with applause carried on for at least a minute. We couldn’t stop laughing. We got down off the stage but Dawn couldn’t resist giving everyone another little shimmy on her way down the steps to be greeted by another big cheer.

We sat down in our chairs and Mark said, “I am not with you lot.”

Dawn said, “Oh you love it.” And promptly grabbed his head and pushed it nose first right into her cleavage. He was the most envied guy in the place at that moment.

Nothing could anywhere near match the ‘Sister Kate’ song for the rest of the evening but we had fun. We didn’t sing any more songs during the evening, but there were plenty of other people who got up and sang songs, including Ralph who go up on his own and sang a song that was done Kenny Chesney called ‘She's Got It All’. He was really good. I wondered who he was singing it for.

Barbara spoke to me between songs. “What’s all this kissing and hugging people. You must have kissed and hugged 5 different men tonight. You know that Fiona never hugs or kisses anyone when she is here. She is usually shy apart from when she sings.”

“I didn’t know that. We will have to tell her to adjust her attitude and start kissing more people, just to make sure people don’t notice the difference.”

“I think some people have already noticed the difference,” said Barbara. “I think people will want more of the new Fiona.”

“I wonder what would happen if we both come here together?”

“Oh that would be crazy, but you would have to stop drinking. You don’t have ID.”

“I could carry Fiona’s ID. We could just say we are Twins. Anyway I am sure she has more than one type of ID.”

“Right now that’s just hypothetical, but we will think about it for the next time you are home together,” Said Barbara.

“So what would you think if I let Andy take me home?”

“I don’t know if that is a good idea. Fiona may still want him. You wouldn’t do that to your own sister.”

“If he kisses me then he doesn’t deserve my sister. I would be sure to tell her. We could say it was a test. Testing his faithfulness.”

“Actually you know that I was going to let Ed take me home and Mark could take Dawn home without having to go to Mom’s house. It might actually work out better for everyone. We will just have to trust that you don’t kiss him or anything.”

“I can’t say I won’t kiss him, but before I kiss him I will tell him that I am going to tell Fiona everything that happens, and that I have no secrets from my sister.”

“So are you going tell him about your, you know.”

“I will tell him what I used to be and see where that leads to. I told you that I have promised to tell any person I kiss about my identity. I will not be deceitful. After I tell him he will be able to ask as many questions as he wants to make himself comfortable, or not as the case may be.”

“Isn’t that a risk? You will be in the car with a man you hardly know?”

“I will tell him to drive to me home before we talk about anything like that. He surely won’t do anything stupid outside my Mom and Dad’s house. I would feel safe there.”

I turned around and moved over to talk to Andy who had been talking to Mark for the last hour or so.

“Andy. Do you think you could drive me home like you offered?”

“That’s OK,” said Mark. “I said I would take you.”

“But Mark I know you would actually go the other direction if you were not talking me. I am sure that Andy would be happy to take me.”

“Sure er Fiona. We could get to know each other a little better. All I know about you is what your sister has told me. It would be a pleasure.”

“You look after my sister Andy!” Mark said. It was nice to hear him being protective towards me.

“I am a gentleman,” said Andy. “She will be taken good care of.”

So we said our goodbyes and there was a round of hugs and kisses before we made our way our way out to Andy’s car.

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CHECK OUT THE VIDEO

Betty Grable "Shimmy Like My Sister Kate"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PjO2lYSKZk

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 15.

After midnight Friday night September 13th in Andy’s car at Bullfrog Lake.

We left the Fox Hollow and walked across the parking lot to Andy’s car. It was a big black Chrysler. He rushed to open the door for me. I politely thanked him and got in. It was only a short walk across the parking lot to his car but I was glad to get inside, although the deep leather seats in the car did take a short while to heat up.

Andy noticed me shivering. “I can switch the seat heater on if you wish,” he said. I agreed and was almost instantly comfortable.

“Where do you work to be able to afford a luxury car like this?” I asked as we pulled onto the highway and quietly accelerated away.

“It’s not an expensive car. Your Dad drives a Range Rover now that’s expensive.”

“How do you know what my Dad drives.”

“Leslie, I have known Fiona for a couple of years. I have been to your house and we have met before.”

I stopped myself talking for a moment. Did this guy know that until recently I was a boy?

“So where did we meet last because I don’t remember.”

“It was at the recital at the Lenfest Hall. You played guitar with Fiona. I was just in a bunch of people that came to congratulate you both after you finished. I am not surprised you don’t remember. You were dressed rather differently that night.”

“Does that bother you?” I asked.

“Bother me no!” he said. “You make a very attractive woman. I am intrigued.”

“So what are you intrigued. It must be obvious t you that I used to be a boy.”

“To be honest Leslie when I first saw you I wondered if you were a girl or not. I couldn’t make my mind up. I found you attractive similar to the way I find Fiona attractive. You have beautiful clear skin and bright penetrating eyes.”

“You were careful not to give anything away there Andy. Clear skin and penetrating eyes.”

“I did say I found you attractive Leslie. Dressed as you are tonight you are even more attractive.”

“Andy please be careful. You know I used to be a boy and you just said you find me attractive.”

“I know,” he said.

We were approaching the turn-off to my Mom and Dad’s house.

“Andy,” I said feeling very bold and intrigued myself. “If you would like to talk about this some more, we don’t have to go straight to my parents’ house.” And we promptly carried on past the turnoff to my parents’ house.

“So where are you taking me to Andy?” I asked.

“You know we are not very far from Bullfrog Lake!”

“Are you thinking of doing a little fishing Andy?”

“Maybe,” he said. “But I wasn’t thinking of getting out of the car, except maybe to get into the back seat.”

‘Oh shit,’ I thought to myself. I might have to kiss another boy, this time in a private place with no one else around. There may be more than kissing involved. I was getting a little excited.

“We may have to do a little more talking before I find myself comfortable enough to get into the back seat with you.’

“That’s OK,” said Andy. “I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I am enjoying myself just having you sit in my car talking to me.”

“First thing you need to know Andy is that anything that goes on between us gets straight back to Fiona. I am not going to do anything behind her back.”

“That’s OK Leslie. Fiona and I enjoy each other’s company but I don’t see it going anywhere. She has never so much as let me kiss her on the lips and we have had four dates over two months.”

We were making the turn down to Bullfrog Lake.

“This is it Andy. When I tell her we have been down to Bullfrog Lake I don’t think she will want to date you any more, still I doubt that you ever have a problem finding dates.”

“That sounds like a complement Leslie. Does that mean that you are admitting to finding me attractive?”

“OK you caught me,” I said. “Yes I find you attractive. But as I said before I let you kiss me we still have some talking to do.”

Andy drove the car into the Bullfrog Lake parking lot and went over near the lake before reversing under an overhanging tree. He switched the engine off and all I could see were some courtesy lights inside the car and the moon glimmering over the lake.

Andy turned to look at me and looked back at him. We were separated by the console between us. As I looked at him the lights faded and I could only see his outline.

“OK so what are we going to talk about Leslie?”

“I have to tell you about me Andy. I need you to know about my condition or rather I should say my gender.”

“I am interested to know Leslie.” He seemed to smile but I couldn’t be sure in the dark.

“I am a girl Andy, but that’s not what my drivers’ license says and I have male parts between my legs. I live as a girl and I want to stay being a girl forever. My brain tells me I am a girl, it’s just that my body doesn’t agree.”

“So you don’t just cross dress for enjoyment?”

“No Andy that is not what I am. When I was younger I did cross dress in private when I believed that there was no alternate path for me, but now I understand that I should have been a girl all along.”

“Are you going to get an operation?”

“I don’t know Andy. I am not far enough down that path to come to that decision, although that is further off in the distance it is still along the path I am headed. What about you?”

“We got past you pretty quick. I wasn’t planning on talking about me.”

“There are two people in any relationship Andy. I want to know about you. What do you feel about what I just said?”

“Did you learn that from your analyst, asking about my feelings?”

“I am not seeing an analyst Andy, but I need to feel comfortable about what I just said to you.”

“I consider myself a heterosexual male, but I get turned on by the sight or thought of a beautiful woman with a penis. You have just explained to me, and correct if I am wrong, that you are a woman with a penis. I also find you very attractive.”

“I find you very attractive, but I would also find you very attractive as a regular woman. Now that I find that you have male parts I find you even more attractive. Well let’s not say more attractive. You are a very beautiful woman. I would find it hard to resist you either way.”

“Did you find me attractive at the recital, when you knew I was a boy?”

“No, I didn’t even think about it.” He paused for a second. “That isn’t true. The first time I saw you I didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl. When I thought of you as a girl I thought you could be attractive, if you dressed better and put make-up on, you could be just as attractive as Fiona, but when I found out you were a boy I didn’t think of you as attractive anymore because I don’t find homosexuality attractive.”

“But if we got into the back of this car Andy, most people would say that anything we did would technically be homosexual.”

“Yes and I am nervous Leslie. I have never done anything like this before and I don’t think of myself as homosexual, but I still want to do it. I want to kiss you Leslie and just see where it leads us.”

“Me too Andy! I have never done anything like this before. I have kissed a couple of boys but never gone further than kissing.”

“Leslie, I think the talking has gone far enough. Want to get in the back?”

I opened my door and he opened his. He reached for the rear door and opened it and I did the same.

I must admit I was frightened. A number of things he could do to me at this crossed my mind. He could just drive away and leave me in the dark in the middle of nowhere or he could beat the crap out of me, but he is a friend of Fiona’s and he knows my sister and he has been in my house and met my parents. I couldn’t believe he could do anything bad to me.

We both got in the back. I was shivering with either fright or anticipation, I am not sure which. We could see each other clearly not because of the courtesy lights and we looked at each other, then as the light began to fade he put his arms around me and pulled me to him.

We kissed. We kissed for a few minutes. He tasted good and clean and his tongue and lips mixing with mine sent tingles all over my body. He was a big man and I felt comfortable and safe in his arms, but I was also unbelievably sexually excited.

After a few minutes he picked me up and placed me on his lap. We kissed some more and I could feel his erection against my thigh making my erection strain against my panties. He put his hand between my legs and I tried to open my legs to gain him access but the skirt was to tight so I pulled away from him for a moment and found a way to pull my skirt up so I wasn’t sitting on it.

His hand found its way to my penis folded back beneath me and he started rubbing me through my panties. That was the moment the kissing stopped. I reached down between us and grabbed his penis. It was big and solid and he made an involuntary grunt as I began to massage it from outside his pants.

He picked me up again and maneuvered me towards the end of the seat then he tried to remove my panties so I removed them for him and threw them onto the front seat and my shoes went on the floor. We maneuvered each other till his head was in my lap and he started kissing my penis.

He kisses and licked and massaged me with his fingers before he took me completely in his mouth and started sucking on me. I had one hand on his head and the other on his back just enjoying what he was doing to me, before I realized that I should be doing something for him.

I slid sideways across the seat so I was beneath him and as he made room for me I reached to open his pants. He was a lot bigger than me and circumcised as I was not. I knew I couldn’t get that all in my mouth but I would give it a try. He was straining to gently push his penis towards my mouth.

I took his penis in my mouth and ran my tongue all over the head, into the hole at the end that made him shiver, then all around the outside and over all of the head which made him shiver some more. He was moaning in his throat which gave me a wonderful sensation in my penis so I started to do the same. He now started gently and rhythmically to push his penis into and out of my mouth and I just let him as that allowed me to concentrate on enjoying what he was doing to my penis.

By this time I was spread out across the back seat with my legs up in the air. I could feel the cold windows with my feet. He had one knee on the seat beside my head and one foot on the floor supporting himself without pushing his giant penis down my throat and out of the other side. I was holding his hips away from my face with my hands, but he felt so powerful I knew I couldn’t stop him from choking me if he wanted to.

He stopped sucking my penis and started spitting at my balls. At first I didn’t understand what was happening until he began to put a finger into my ass then resumed sucking my penis. With his finger moving inside my ass and what he was doing to my penis I started to have what I consider to be an orgasm. Then a second finger went into my ass. I was floating on clouds of pleasure.

I felt like I lost control of my body. Waves of pleasure swept back and forth and around my body till I came inside his mouth. He didn’t move and he surprised me my not letting a drop go. I believe I could feel the sensation of him swallowing.

We continued to suck on each other but I couldn’t continue because the pain of the pleasure became too great. I had to stop him and I sat myself up to rearrange and regroup myself. We both sat up.

“We are not finished yet.” He said.

“I know,” I said. “Just give me a second or two to catch my breath.” As we sat next to each other.

“Can I fuck you ass?” he asked. I didn’t know what to say. Was I big enough to get that thing inside me? I didn’t know. Then I though this kind of thing happens every day. I have never heard of anyone dying from it.

“Have you got a condom?” I asked.

He did. We pulled his pants down to his knees then he put the condom on him and I spat on it till it was all wet and slippery. I lifted my skirt to my waist and straddled him then I reached between my legs to grab him and guide him into my ass.

‘This was insane!’ I was thinking to myself. ‘It’s not going to go in,’ but I knew I had to try. He filled the entrance then it went in a little way. I thought ‘this isn’t too bad,’ then the head of his penis crossed my sphincter and I screamed. A share burst of pain came over me but I daren’t move. The pain subsided enough for me to feel a little pleasure, and then strangely to me I began to feel the sensation of accomplishment.

I am a girl and I have a dick inside me. It feels great.

Then I started to slide down his pole. Little by little I eased my was down, pausing and lifting up a little before easing down some more. The further down I went the greater sensation that my insides were moving around to let this giant penis inside me.

He put his giant hands on each side of my face and kissed me deeply. I felt so wonderfully feminine in his hands. I relaxed my grip on him to enjoy the kiss and I slipped down him the rest of the way. I instantly felt like he was poking himself into my diaphragm and my lungs. He way all the way in. I could feel his balls against my ass cheeks. I felt stretched and in pain but it was worth it. Rolling thunderous waves of pleasure rolled around my abdomen. I was in heaven.

Slowly at first but steadily quicker he began to move up and down inside me. I began to move around him and move my hips back and forth but that increased the pain. I decided to allow him to do all of the work. I rested my arms around his neck and my forehead against his.

He was holding me up now with his hands under my arms to give him room to pound my ass from below. I shivered and spazumed and shook till I came once again without anyone touching me. I came all over his shirt but he didn’t notice. He was pounding my ass with all the energy he could muster.

He lasted what seemed a long time but he had to come. He gripped me tightly and spazumed and shook as he buried his head into my neck as he came inside me again and again. Then we stopped moving and settled to an easier pace of breathing and we held each other as he brushed my hair with his hand.

I could feel his penis shrink inside me. The sense of accomplishment was huge and the orgasmic waves still rumbled inside me in spite of the pain.

Everything settled down to a warm pleasurable glow and I lifted myself off him and sat beside him.

“That was wonderful,” he said.

“Me too,” I said not knowing what else to say. Then he rolled over again and kissed me some more, then he settled back in his seat and panted some more.

I opened the door so the light would come on and I could see the damage. I had blotches of my own cum spread up the front of my dress. Andy had cum on his shirt but he could fasten his jacket. I began wondering what I could do about it.

Andy had some tissues and a bottle of water so I cleaned it up but it was still a mess. Andy gave me a jacket to wear from the trunk of his car but it was about 10 sizes too big. It would have to do.

Andy kissed me again then we got back into the front of his car and we drove off. It felt wrong to be separated from each other after having such good sex, but this stupid car had this huge console that run between us. Modern cars are so unromantic.

Things were a little quiet in the car for a while till he spoke.

“Can I see you again?” he asked.

“Sure,” I said. “But I don’t know when. You know I am in New Jersey at college.”

“I will keep on bugging you till you see me again. Can I visit you in New Jersey?”

“I live in a female only residence. You can’t stay there. Text me and will talk during the week. Maybe if things work out we could got to the Jersey shore next Saturday night. What would you think about that?”

“That would be so cool. See what you can come up with. We can definitely do that. I won’t be working next weekend.”

“You never did tell me where you worked?” I asked.

“I work at the nuclear power plant down the road.”

“But you didn’t glow in the dark!” I said.

“Ah but you didn’t see me with all my clothes off,” he said. “Maybe next week you will see it.”

Andy drove me back home and we kissed one more time before I left him. I went into the house unnoticed. I got cleaned up in the bathroom and got in bed exhausted, my dress resting on the floor beside my bed.

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I slept soundly till someone knocked at my door. It took me a moment to understand that my Mom was asking if I wanted breakfast from outside my room.

“Are you cooking breakfast Mom?” I asked.

“Yes dear, you can have anything you want.”

“Eggs, sausage, mushrooms and hash browns?”

“No problem Leslie. Be downstairs in 15 minutes.”

“I got up and sat on the side of my bed. I certainly did it last night and I still felt a little glow, besides the pain in my anus and the feeling of my insides being moved around of course. I had real sex with a man and the sense of accomplishment was still there.

I wonder if this changes anything. I know now that I really enjoyed sex with a man so I couldn’t say I don’t know any more. Does that mean I am gay? I don’t feel gay. I feel like a girl who has had sex with a man. I felt more like a complete woman.

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 16.

Saturday September 13th. Private conversations with Mom, Dad and the gender specialist.
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I felt womanly this morning. I could still feel the effects of having that wonderful man inside me last night. I wondered if some time in the future I might consider making my lower body look more like the way I feel. I was beginning to recognize a conflict between what I feel inside and how I look, but I also recognized that any thought of such a thing was a long way down this path I have chosen, so I put it out of my mind best I could.

I got up to go to take a shower. I went over to my closet and chest of draws to get some clean clothes, but everything in there was for the old Leslie, the boy that is. I then went to my suitcase to get some clean clothes. There were not many clean things left. I think today may be a good day to go shopping for the new me.

I showered and dressed and put on some makeup in double quick time so I could go get some of my Mom’s wonderful breakfast. From the few clean clothes I had left I picked out a black A line skirt and a grey nylon spaghetti strap tank top that I must say looks quite nice on me. Fortunately my shoulders and arms have stayed slender.

I went into the kitchen but my Mom’s face changed when she saw me to a look of disappointment. I stopped at the door and looked at her. She could see that her reaction concerned me. She looked away and started putting food on a plate. At that moment my hunger disappeared.

“I am sorry Leslie,” she said. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be wearing girl’s clothes at breakfast. I was still hoping for the old Leslie. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“I know Mom,” I said. “We are all adjusting to my new persona. It is unreasonable of me to expect that you and the other family members will be as enthusiastic as I am for the new me, but someday soon I hope it will happen.”

“It’s hard for us Leslie. Last week you were the beautiful boy you have always been and now you are so different. I want to relate to you the same way as before but I find it so confusing. My mind is wired up to expect my son and I hear your voice but my eyes are having difficulty making the connection between what I see and what I hear.”

“Can’t you just relate to me the same way you do with Fiona?”

“But you are not Fiona. You look a lot like her but I know it’s not Fiona it’s you, my son, wearing a skirt and looking very pretty.”

“Why can’t you just think of me as your other daughter Mom?”

“Surely you don’t believe it’s that simple Leslie. I am going to love and support you with all my heart but you must understand that I have lost something that is very dear to me.”

“But I am still here Mom!”

“Yes you are here, Leslie the girl, but my beautiful boy Leslie that went to college last week isn’t coming back, and that makes me sad and I can’t help it.”

She was beginning to cry now. Yes of course I understood what she was saying. The things I have changed over the last week have affected all of my family. I was going to need a similar conversation with my Dad I am sure. I pulled my mother towards me to hug her. She turned to me and I rested my head on her shoulder.

“OK so who is hugging you now Mom?”

“Don’t try to analyze me Leslie,” she said as she moved away from me. “Please try to understand that you have taken something away from me that I loved dearly. Of course I am going to love you and do all I can for you because you are my child, but you can’t just flip a switch and expect everyone to love the new you just like before. It just doesn’t work like that. I need time to adjust.”

Now it was me that was crying. I ignored my breakfast and went back up to my room in tears. She didn’t follow me. I lay on my bed crying and thinking about what she said.

I realized as I felt sorry for myself that she had still said she loved me and she need time to adjust. She wasn’t negative towards my change and she even said I was pretty. I should not be laying on the bed crying. I should be downstairs with my Mom helping her adjust to the new me and showing her that I still loved her.

I got up, cleaned my face up and went downstairs to see my Mom in the kitchen. She was sitting at the kitchen table staring through the dining room out into the countryside.

“I am sorry Mom,” I said as I kissed her on the cheek and sat down beside her. “This is not all about me. Yes I understand I have taken something away from you but I am sure in time I will make a good replacement. It’s still me and I love you as I have always done.”

“I hope you haven’t thrown away that nice breakfast,” I said looking around for it. “I still eat just the same.”

“You will have to explain that one to me Leslie. How can you eat just the same if there has been no one to cook for you for the last week? I was thinking that because you would be staying in an apartment with other boys you would be eating pizza and Kraft dinner. Please tell me how you got on with the girls in your apartment.”

That moment made me glad I came back down. My Mom had said what she had to say and now she was getting on with things. I really have a classy Mom.

“Well Mom the girls told me that from the first moment that I would be expected to be just another one of the girls. Cooking, cleaning, putting things in the dishwasher and never leaving a single plate, spoon, napkin or food container for anyone to deal with.”

“All of us do our part as soon as it needs doing. Nothing gets left for later, except for my laundry that is. I am going to ask for your help with my Laundry as I have never washed girls’ clothes before.”

“I don’t remember you ever washing boys clothes either Leslie.”

“That was the old me Mom. The new me is an improvement in every way. I am going to ask you with help to do my laundry but I want to do it myself.”

“That’s OK Leslie. But the fact that I own the washing machine trumps your desire to do your own laundry. Just bring it to me in a laundry basket and I will take care of it. You can watch me if you want. Anyway tell me about the girls you are staying with and your first week at college. You haven’t really told me anything yet.”

I took some time and told Mom about the girls I live with. Angie is a freshman like me taking Engineering, Carla is studying Early Childhood Education, MJ is studying Psychology. I also gave her a little insight about the girls’ backgrounds, where they lived, who pays for college etc.

I told her about the house we stay in, the walk to college, the layout of the college and the nice grounds around the buildings. I told her about some of the classes and lecturers including Flat Top McClelland and my first classes.

Mom was very interested and asked lots of questions. She even laughed at some of the funnier bits. She was of course very interested when I told her about Fiona and I playing at the Coffee Hutch and asked if they could come down to see us. I of course said I would like that but I also understood that it was improbable that such a thing would happen.

Mom asked when we were playing again so I told her about tomorrow evenings gig. For a moment I think she was considering coming down for it, but she wouldn’t would she? She and Dad both have work on Monday morning.

We spent a nice hour of so going over all of the things that had happened last week. Well not everything. I didn’t tell her about kissing Lawrence, going to the Rainbow club or spending the night with Rebecca, and I certainly can’t tell her about last night. I can’t tell her everything can I? I don’t think she would understand.

While we were talking Dad called up and wanted to know if I was free for the afternoon till maybe 2:30pm and I said yes. It seems he wants to take me out for lunch then to meet someone afterwards. Mom explained to him that he could only take me somewhere that was appropriate for a young lady to be taken. Dad told her he would only take me to places he had taken her to and that satisfied her.

That prompted for Mom to explain that Dad had planned to arrange a visit with the gender specialist that we had talked to those years ago. It seems my Dad had remained in contact with him and even sold him a house a couple of years ago. Good Real Estate salesmen never lose a contact.

It was nearly 11am now and my cell went off. It was Eliot wanting to know if he could come over for a visit. I told him he could come over for an hour but that was all because I was going out with my Dad. Eliot said he would be here in 5 minutes.

Mom and I greeted Eliot together at the front door. He had driven over in a pickup truck.

“Like my new truck?” he asked after the greetings.

“Really nice,” I said trying to be friendly. I don’t really like pickups but I was not going to tell him.

“Want to come in?” I asked. “We can sit out by the pool and catch up.”

“I will bring you out a couple of cokes on ice,” said my mother.

We walked through the house and out back to the pool deck. Eliot didn’t say anything as we walked through the house but I could feel him looking me up and down, checking me out.

I opened the door to the pool, walked out and sat on one of the comfy chairs, ensuring to control my skirt as I did and allowing it to slide up a little exposing my knee. I saw him look then he realized that I saw him looking.

“Its OK Eliot. I understand what a surprise it is for you to see me this way, but we can still be friends. You don’t mind having a friend who is a girl do you?”

“My family thinks you are my girlfriend now Leslie, remember. I got a barrage of questions when you left. My mom was asking the most questions. I think you have spoken to her a couple of times when you came over during the summer. She thought you said you were a boy but now she has seen you in a dress she is not so sure. My sisters want you to come over. My Dad and was complementing me on my taste and brother was asking me how a scrawny runt like me gets a hottie like you. What am I going to tell them all?”

“You are not a scrawny runt Eliot you are a handsome young man and the best policy is don’t tell them anything. Say we are just friends and leave it at that.”

“But you kissed me. No girl has ever kissed me like that before.”

“It was only a kiss Eliot. It didn’t mean anything.”

“It did to me Leslie.”

“Would you like me to kiss you again Eliot?”

There was a pause in the conversation. Eliot was trying to come up with a reasonable answer.

“Are you really a girl Leslie?” He asked.

“That question is not as straightforward as it could be Eliot. I think of myself as a girl of course and I know that I look like a girl. Do you think of me as a girl Eliot?”

“When I spoke to you at Fox Hollow and you kissed me, yes I thought of you as a girl, but I have known you for years before that and I thought of you as a boy. Now I don’t know what to think.”

“What did you think of me when we were growing up? Was I a convincing boy?”

“Well no I never thought of you as a big, strong, rough tuff boy, but neither was I. I know we used to go swimming and you were careful not to expose yourself, but I did see that you had a thingy and although it was small it still looked like mine. It was still there.”

“My problem Leslie is that after you kissed me last night I started remembering this stuff about you being small and shy and not being like the other kids, I started to understand that you have been feminine or effeminate for as long as I have known you. It seems to make sense. How different are you?”

“OK Eliot I am going to tell you but you must keep this between us. You can’t go telling any of our friends without my permission and knowledge. Some people are just not as intelligent as you or understand as much you do. You have to promise Eliot.”

“I promise,” said Eliot.

“OK I will tell you. At the youngest age I can remember, I always thought of myself as a girl. I used to have so much fun playing with my sisters that it was obvious to me that I was one of them, but then my Mom told me that I was a boy and not like my sisters and I had to go to school in boys clothing. It didn’t make sense to me but I did what I was told.

“I didn’t like going to school in boys clothing but I was a good boy and did what my parents asked. When I got home I still spent time in a dress and played girls games with my sisters, and I did the same all the way through my summer breaks too.”

“But I also enjoyed going to school and enjoying boys’ games with you and my friends. I like boys stuff too, not just girls stuff. I was able to switch. Girls’ stuff with my sisters and boys’ stuff with you.”

“That may sound strange to you but it didn’t seem strange at all to me. This was my life for the first few years. But at a certain age things changed. My parents stopped me from wearing girls’ clothes and I had to do most everything in boys’ clothes.”

“I have never been a rebel and have always done what my parents asked me to do, but I never forgot that I still felt of myself as a girl inside, so over the last few years the girl inside me has begun to come out. At first in private but now in public to my friends.”

“Do you really think you are a girl?” asked Eliot.

“Inside I know I am a girl but some of the outside bits don’t agree. I have breasts you know?”

“I didn’t know that. Can I see?”

“No Eliot. You will have to buy me dinner first.”

“Really? Dinner?” said Eliot.

“That is a joke Eliot.” I said.

“You look like you have nice breasts from here Leslie.”

“You are not going to see my breasts Eliot. Anyway so what do you think about my story?”

“I don’t know. How could your parents just let you dress as a girl all that time without making you dress like a boy? Did you have to go to visit doctors and stuff to find out if you were a boy or a girl? The whole thing is confusing to me.”

“I have done some research on the internet Eliot and I found out a few things. It seems that most people are born with matching parts, a boys’ body with a boys’ brain, but some other people have parts that don’t exactly match. I have for the most part the body of a boy, but as you may have noticed I not a very convincing boy and I seem to have some girly bits. I think I was born with a partly boy’s body and a girl’s brain.”

“Also I seem to have missed the puberty stage most boys go through where they grow facial hair, grow men’s features like big chins and noses. I am nearly 20 years old and my shoulders are still slim like my sisters and I don’t have an adams apple. I just didn’t grow up to look like a boy or a man.”

OK so I didn’t mention about me using a hair remover on my face, but the rest of it is true.

“Added to that I have always wanted to wear girl’s clothes and play with girls. Don’t get me wrong because I did enjoy playing and hanging out with you all those years, but I have both sides in me. But now I feel the girl side has grown stronger than the boy side and I really believe I should be and need to be a girl.”

“Are you going to get your boy bits removed Leslie?”

“Maybe I will, but I haven’t made plans for that yet Eliot. I haven’t even explained all of this to a doctor, but it does seem a logical step for someone like me.”

I wanted to hang out with Eliot some more but my Mom told me that Dad had called and was on his way over.

“I have to go Eliot, I’m sorry.”

“When will I see you again?” asked Eliot.

I thought about it for a moment then I realized that I wouldn’t be out all day with my Dad and I could see Eliot later.

“Call me on my cell about 3:30 and we can go shopping.”

“What for, girl’s things?”

“Yes for girl’s things. If I was your real girlfriend you would go with me wouldn’t you? You can tell me how good I look in the nice dresses I am going to buy.”

Eliot reluctantly agreed and I walked him out to his truck just as Dad was arriving.

………………………….

As I got in Dad’s Range Rover I climbed over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I thought that was an appropriate greeting for a girl who loves her father.

“Hi Dad, where are you taking me? It’s nice that we can get a little father daughter time before I go back,” As I said that I settled down into the beautifully soft leather seats of his Range Rover. OK the leather is soft but it still doesn’t seem to me like it’s worth twice as much as Andy’s Chrysler.

“I thought we could go to that nice little Greek place near my office, you know the one with the chairs out on the street. It’s usually quieter on a Saturday and I thought we could talk.”

“So what do you want to talk about Dad?” I said as Dad drove us down the winding road from our house.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was warming things up nicely and there was a light breeze enough to move the small billowing clouds across the sky slowly. A perfect day to be eating lunch outside with my Dad.

“There are so many things I want to talk about Leslie. You can start by telling me how you expect me to relate to the almost frivolous girly girl sitting beside me when last week you were a serious mathematics studying mountain biking boy?”

“Mom had a similar concern. She said she had a problem listening to the voice she has always known as me coming out of a girl that looks a lot like Fiona. All I can say dad is that it’s still me inside. I have all the same memories and feelings I had before. You are talking to the same Leslie but I just look different.”

“It’s obviously a lot more than that Leslie. The boy I thought you were was obviously an illusion. You must have been hiding all of these girly feelings from us and although I don’t want to criticize you for it, I do feel deceived. For all those years you were my son and I thought you were happy to be my son, you must have been hiding your real self from us.”

We carried on our conversation as we parked outside Angelo’s restaurant and took a seat under an umbrella outside.

“It’s not like I ever intended to deceive anyone Dad, but from my early childhood one thing happened after another and after all these years this is the final result. I have obviously been thinking a lot about this in the last few days and I now understand a lot more than I did.”

“When I was very small, I was told I was a boy, but what a boy should be didn’t ever really sink in. There were so many days I remember when I could spend the entire day in a dress and play with my sisters that I must have thought that was OK for boys to do that. It certainly didn’t seem wrong or out of place. I loved my sisters and you and Mom so much that my memories of that time were all happy.”

We ordered lunch from the nice young man serving who gave me more than an attentive glance. I smiled back at him and asked him for extra milk for my tea.

“You make it sound like you were raised as a girl Leslie but I don’t remember to being dressed as a girl but once or twice, but I do admit that you always looked pretty in a dress.”

“I think maybe Dad, I used to put my boys clothes on for you coming home for dinner as Mom would not let me wear a dress in the evening when you were home.”

“Are you saying that all this is your mothers fault for letting you wear dresses when you were small?”

“I am not into the blame thing Dad; I just want to explain what happened. I wanted to wear dresses and play with my sisters. They wanted me to play with them and they thought it was cool that I would wear a dress same as them.”

“Did your Mom dress you in girl’s clothes in the morning for breakfast?”

“No Dad, Mom always dressed me in my boys clothes and sometimes I used to do boys things and hang around with some of my boy buddies, but when the girls wanted me to play with them, one of them would bring me a dress and some shoes, so I could look like them and we would do girls thing.”

“Did your Mom ever try to stop you?”

“Yes I remember at times she did, but we would make a game of it. She would take a dress off me and one of my sisters would give me another dress as soon as she wasn’t looking. She got tired of the game after a while and just let me dress how I wanted. By the time I was seven or eight, Barbara was old enough to look after us without a babysitter so during the summer. Mom would sometimes go to work and just let us get ourselves dressed and fed etc. For those one or two summers I dressed almost exclusively as a girl during the day and only changing into boys clothes before you and Mom came home.”

“Didn’t your Mom and I try to stop you and talk to you about it?”

“Dad you are talking to me as though this is a surprise to you. You knew about me wearing girl’s clothes and you and Mom went to see a specialist about it.”

“Yes but I didn’t know it went this far. You make it sound like you spent half your childhood in a dress pretending to be a girl.”

“Dad please, I have never pretended anything. This who I am! If I pretended then I was pretending to be a boy so I could go to school and not be noticed.”

As the nice young man came back with our lunch, I recognized him from primary and middle school.

“Jeremy Geanus I said.”

“That’s right. Nice of you to remember. You are Fiona.”

“No you have the wrong sister,” I said. “I am Fiona’s younger sister Leslie.”

“I must be really screwed up,” said Jeremy. “I’m sorry but I thought you were a boy Leslie,”

“No I have never been a boy, although I may have looked and dressed like a boy at times. I even went to some boys classes, but I have always been a girl. You would never confuse me for a girl would you Jeremy?”

“No way,” said Jeremy. “You are really pretty. What school do you go to now?”

“I am at university in New Jersey doing Mathematics. What school do you go to?”

“I started at a trade school last week to become a carpenter. This job is to help me with pocket money. Do you have a job Leslie?”

“Yeh I do actually,” I said knowing that this was going to be news to my Dad too. “I play guitar and sing with my sister Fiona in a restaurant bar a couple of times a week.”

“Cool. Are you any good?”

“Some people tell us we are but we haven’t got a recording contract yet.”

“I gotta go do some work Leslie,” he said. “Really nice to meet you again.” Then he skipped off to serve someone else with a beaming smile on his face.”

“I am totally amazed Leslie,” said my Dad.

“What?”

“You are quite captivating. You could have had him eating out or your hand. I am truly amazed by the difference from the old Leslie. He wouldn’t have had the nerve to speak up and say hello.”

“I know because I see the difference too. Only a couple of weeks ago I thought no one was interested in me because I was just a weedy runt of a boy who couldn’t speak up if his pants were on fire, but now I have my voice. People look at me now and say hey, that girl looks like she has something to say and I want to hear it. At university people stop me and say hey you are Leslie Haigt. We have heard of you. When are you singing again?”

“You have a sparkle in your eyes that I have never seen before Leslie. That boy saw it too.”

“Thanks Dad. You have a sparkle in your eyes now too. Do you think you might understand now? This is who I am and I can’t change back. Leslie Haigt is a beautiful girl going to college and enjoying her life more than ever before. Please tell me you understand.”

“I must admit I really don’t know how I got to this point, I didn’t understand till just then. I see the girl inside you now and I think you are something very special. Not to say that you were not special before but this is different. I think I am beginning to see the real Leslie.”

“Awe thanks Dad,” I said.

“I am still in shock though. I will miss not having a son, but the person who came back from college last night is so much happier and self-assured than the person who left last week I think that will make up for my loss. I must admit again that I love that sparkle in your eyes.”

“You will make me blush Dad.” I said giving my eyes a little flutter.

“Don’t know if I believe you Leslie. The new you doesn’t seem like someone who would blush easily. Did Mom tell you where we are going this afternoon?”

“She said you were taking me to see the gender specialist you spoke to all those years ago. She said that you sold him a house.”

“I did too. A very large house near Valley Forge, but his office is in Norristown. We need at least half an hour to get there.”

Dad ordered the check and we prepared to go. Jeremy came out with the machine and Dad paid with his card. Jeremy gave me a really nice smile while dad was doing his thing. I thought about reaching out to touch his hand but thought better of it.

We cruised down the 422 to Norristown on no time at all. I told Dad about the same things I had told Mom about earlier.

“What has Fiona said to you about all this?” asked my Dad. “Has she been supportive?”

“Fiona is a wonderful sister. Yes she has let me know that this has been a little weird for her but I think she is not unhappy about it. We have always been close but this may even bring us closer.”

“I spoke to Fiona yesterday,” he said. “She called me up tell me about her plans for the weekend. I asked her about what she thinks of your change. She is very concerned for you. She is shocked that this could happen so fast and it caught her by surprise. She also said she loves you and is doing all she can to help.”

“She is being very helpful. She has not said no to anything I asked. She hasn’t complained at all. Now I am saying that I now find myself thinking that she has done everything for me and I haven’t done anything for her. I have to be aware that it can’t all be about me and I have to consider others in what I do.”

“My sentiments exactly,” he said. “I am glad that you understand that this change of your affects everyone you know in ways you may not understand. Anyway we are here now and we can resume this conversation after you have spoken to Doctor London.”

………………………………………………………………..

We went into the office complex and up in the elevator to the third floor. The doctor’s reception was empty but the doctor came out of his office to greet us.

“Hi Charlie,” said the doctor.

“Thanks for doing this Sean,” said my Dad.

“I will be billing you Charlie so don’t sweat it,” said the doctor.

“You must be Leslie,” he said. “I am very pleased to meet you as I have been hearing about you for a few years. Please come through.”

We shook hands and went through to his office. It was a large room with a desk in the corner but most of the room was taken up with big comfy chairs and a coffee table. The blinds were open and I could see across the parking lot to the park and the river past it.

He asked me to sit wherever I wanted and asked if I wanted a drink. I accepted a Coke and sat at the end of the leather couch. He sat on a comfy chair across the coffee table from me.

“What do I call you?” I asked.

“In this office you can call me Sean but outside this office I expect that you will call me Dr. London. Is that OK with you?”

“Sure,” I said. I sat with my knees together and my hands on my lap not knowing what to do or say. Dr. London was a fairly big man maybe about 40 with thick black hair, thinning a little on the top. He had a beard that he kept short and trimmed to give himself the appearance of having a chin. He wore light colored flannel pants and a short sleeved white shirt. I wasn’t attracted to him but I could see he could have been attractive when he was younger.

“Let me give you some information about myself. I am a qualified medical doctor but I also hold a doctorate in psychology. I treat patients with mental and emotional disorders but I also specialize in gender.”

“Gender what? Do you mean gender disorders?”

“I have learned that the term disorder does not necessarily go with the word gender. There is a long list of conditions that I have been able to help with. I hope you will allow me to discuss your life to see if I can help you. Will you allow me to do that? At this time you seem to be a little apprehensive, which I of course understand. I am a stranger to you asking you to tell be your deepest secrets after all.”

“I am apprehensive but I am fully prepared to tell you everything. I just want to understand where you will fit into my future. Will you be the person to guide me through the life changes that I am expecting or are you just consulting before you pass me off to someone else?”

“I can be your main contact in the medical and psychology fields to help you through whatever you need through your journey to wherever your life takes you, apart from surgery should you believe that is necessary. I don’t know enough about you to say any more than that, but I will know more if you tell me about yourself.”

So I opened up. I told him about my earliest memories of being in a dress and playing with my sisters, then my parents telling me I had to dress as a boy, then my sisters dressing me when my parents were not around, then that stopping too. I told him of my cross-dressing at home when everyone else was away, my trips the mall to buy my own clothes and my first days at college. While I was talking he would sometimes make notes but most of the time he looked me in the eyes and paid attention.

“What about self-gratification. Was that part of your cross dressing?”

“Yes there was some at times, but not always. I just wanted to do my regular things while wearing a dress.”

“And what about during the last week that you have been living as a girl. Has there been any more self-gratification?”

“No not at all,” I said, “although during the last week I have had the first 3 sexual encounters of my life.”

“With men?”

“No, the first two were with women. Only the last one last night was my first time with a man.”

“I am sorry Leslie but you surprise me a little. Am I correct that until this week you never had any sexual activity with another person, but you have has sex with 3 different people in one week? Do you want to tell me about them?”

“No,” I said.

“I am sorry Leslie I don’t want details but I would like to know what attracts you. Can you tell me what kind of relationships you had with these people?”

“OK I don’t mind that. The first was with one of my female flat mates. She identified herself as lesbian but I think she is a little screwed up because of earlier life experiences. I think I am the first male in her life that didn’t hit on her or hurt her. She came into my bed late at night and gave me a blowjob.”

“What about your relationship with her right now. Will you see her again?”

“We are flat mates, but she said not to say anything to the others and that it didn’t mean anything.”

“Do you really believe that? There are very few people who can honestly say that having sex with someone doesn’t really mean anything to them. I would guess from what little you told me that it means a lot to her but she doesn’t want to show it to you for fear of rejection.”

“Jeez that makes me feel like shit.”

“I am sorry Leslie but you have obviously got a lot to learn about sexual relationships. You will have to figure that out later. What about the second?”

“The second was the most beautiful woman I have ever come in contact with, other than my sisters. She was tall and powerful with an amazing body. She appealed to the boy in me. She identified herself to me as lesbian and was attracted to the girl in me. After I told her about my orientation she still had sex with me, but it was non penetrating sex. Afterwards she told me that she couldn’t do it again but we could still be friends.”

I don’t know what to say about that encounter. With any luck she will be true to her word. I hope so for your sake. What about the third?”

“I met a really nice man who is a friend of my sisters. He met me once before I knew I wanted to be a girl. He was attracted to me but he had doubts about my sexual orientation. We had a long conversation about my believing I am a girl inside and him being attracted to me as a woman, but also as a woman with a penis even more so. He said he was not gay and had never had sex with a man, but still had oral and anal sex with me.”

“How did that make you feel?”

“Totally exhilarated! He made me feel like a real woman and I am still glowing.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“I think so. I hope so.”

“I am pleased for you, but I strongly recommend that you don’t add to your list of sexual partners for some considerable time, at least until the first 3 relationships are sorted and concluded. You may not think so but you are in a confused and delicate state at this moment and you are not giving yourself time to adjust between all of the major changes you have been subjecting yourself to.”

“Leslie I am not trying to startle you or shock you but without realizing it you have been acting like a whirlwind for the last week and you have not given yourself time to turn around and look at the trail of destruction you have left behind you.”

Trail of destruction? I hadn’t thought of it that way. But maybe I have not been looking back to evaluate what I have done. How many people have I actually hurt? Right now I was feeling sorry that I may have hurt MJ.

“Leslie the speed and the scope of the changes you have made in the last week is incredible, but you need to slow down. You need some reflective time before you jump into any other changes. Right now I suggest that you carry on with your school life as you have laid out to me but please don’t make any more radical changes or new sexual relationships until your life has settled down from the last week. Are you OK with that? I think we should stop there.”

“Aren’t you going to talk about hormones or surgery or my gynecomastia?”

“We are too soon in our consultation process to talk about hormones or surgery and I am sorry but I don’t know anything about your gynecomastia and I have no record of it.”

“I am growing breasts and I have never taken any hormones or anything. My Mom said she thought it might be gynecomastia so I thought you might be able to examine me.”

“I am Sorry Leslie but I can’t examine you today. You will have to call in for an appointment during the week. I don’t have any staff here and I can’t examine you without my other staff being present. We have certain protocols we must go through. I am only speaking to you right now as a favor to your father. The next time you come in we will register you properly and get a full medical work up. Should take about an hour, then we can make another appointment to speak about a path forward. Are you OK with that?”

“I guess so. I have been so caught up in the moment that I haven’t given myself any time to stop and think. I promise I will slow down and not make any more changes.”

I was feeling a little shell shocked at this time and needed some time to stop and think. We agreed this was a good time to wind things up and I thanked him for his time and patients. He told me he hoped he was helping and we shook hands and we went outside into the reception area where my dad was waiting patiently.

I took my dad’s hand and we walked over to the elevator. As soon as we got inside and the doors started closing I wrapped my arms around him and burst into tears. I don’t know why. I just needed him to hold me. I buried my head in his chest and he comforted me best he could. By the time I realized where I was there were other people waiting to get in to the elevator so he lifted me up and stood me in the hallway where I tried to recompose myself. I didn’t care what other people were doing around me; I just wanted to be comforted in my dad’s arms.

I recovered after a while and we made our way back to the car where he gave me some tissues and I cleaned myself up a bit.

“Anything I can help you with Leslie?” my dad asked.

“No Dad but thanks. It’s just a shock letting all those private things out then having someone qualified comment on them. He said I have been like a whirlwind for the last week not giving myself time to turn around and look at the trail of destruction left behind me. I didn’t realize it but it’s true. He didn’t tell me to change anything, but he did tell me not to make any more changes before I let the dust settle on all the changes I have made.”

“Do you like him? Do you think he might be the doctor you could stick with?”

“I think so Dad. He said I should make an appointment to come to see him next week and get a full medical work up. I have half a day where I can fit that in.”

“What did he tell you?”

“I am not going to talk about it right now Dad. I want to give my brain a rest.”

Right then my phone went. It was Eliot.

“Where are you Leslie. I thought you wanted to go shopping.”

“I’m sorry Eliot. This thing with my dad took longer than I thought. Hold on a second will you?”

I turned to speak to my Dad. “Dad do you think Eliot could come over this evening. I know you are having people over and it’s not a sit down meal or anything?’

“Sure,” my dad said. “The more the merrier. Does he play an instrument?”

I got back on the phone. “Eliot I can’t do anything right now but if you want you can come over this evening and bring your guitar. We are having a musical evening and you’re invited. Will you come?”

“I would love to. I can drive myself over. What time?”

“Sevenish. It’s not a sit down meal but wear something nice and be prepared to sing. Please remember that if you drive then we can’t let you drink.”

“He said he would come.” I told Dad.

“So are we going home,” Dad asked.

“Well Dad since I can’t go shopping with Eliot right now and we are close to King of Prussia. Could you take me shopping for a couple of things?”

“What kind of things.”

“Just dresses and shoes and stuff.”

“Shopping for dresses with my new daughter. What have I done to deserve this honor?”

“You have the great honor of being my Dad that’s all.”

“I must be a real pushover,” he said starting the car. “King of Prussia Mall it is.

Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.

Starting College my way. Chapter 17.

September 13th. Saturday Night Music Evening, including the bit where I dump on Barbara.
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King of Prussia Mall was fun with my Dad. He got to watch me try on dresses and shoes and he paid for everything. I got 3 dresses, 3 skirts, 4 tops and two pairs of jeans together with some miscellaneous underwear. I also bought a classy looking short evening dress for tonight. We also popped into my favorite DSW for 2 pairs of shoes and a pair of winter boots.

Dad was totally understanding that I needed more stuff and I think I caught him enjoying himself, even though he got to use the ‘not another dress store’ comment a couple of times.

I of course flirted with every boy I came into contact with, plus a couple of the pretty women. No one seemed to mind. As soon as I smiled at them the just smiled back and sometimes shared complements.

I really enjoy this way of shopping by interacting with people rather than the boys way of doing things. i.e. head down charge into the store, pick one, pay and leave. Mind you I don’t think I was ever like that when I went shopping for girl’s clothes. I used to try to interact with sales assistants if I could. Many times they would look funny at me but other times they would enjoy a brief conversation. Some sales women enjoyed talking about women’s intimate clothing with someone who seemed interested, but that may have been because they were not sure if I was a boy or a girl.

After the shopping my Dad politely made it clear that we had run out time and had to get back.

When we arrived home Mom was beginning to get a little frantic because my Dad is usually a big help in the kitchen getting things ready and I had taken him away for longer than planned, but soon after we came back Barbara arrived and we all pitched in to get thing prepared.

After things settled down and Mom was more satisfied that everything would be perfect, I took my things up to my room and Barbara followed me.

“So how was your ride home with Andy? Anything happen?” she said bouncing herself down on the bed.

“It did actually,” I said showing her that I was rather pleased with myself. “We spent a pleasant hour together getting to know each other before he brought me home. I think I might see him again.”

“You are amazing. You have only been a girl for a few days and you are stealing your sisters’ boyfriends already. What do you think Fiona will say?”

“I don’t think Fiona will say anything Barbara. Andy said that he took her out twice on what he thought were dates and she never even kissed him. Anyway Fiona has gone to the beach this weekend and she was taking a shine to one of my admirers. She was picking him up and taking him to some friends’ beach house.”

“How many people at your college know about you being a boy Leslie?”

“I don’t consider myself a boy any more Barbara. I used to be a boy but I am a girl now.”

“But it can’t be that simple Leslie. There are some people that know that you were a boy because the girl’s you stay with know and you also said that you have told people that you are intimate with. You can’t expect to just fly under the radar and get away with it. I think you are a disaster waiting to happen.”

“I understand that I have to slow down and let the dust settle on the things that I have done. The gender specialist that Dad took me to this afternoon said I was a whirlwind leaving a trail of destruction behind me and I need to more carefully to think about all the things I am doing, but I can’t go back Barbara. I have too much to lose.”

“What have you got to lose Leslie? If you stopped this now I am sure you could get a late entry into another college and with your grades I bet you would still pass with A’s.”

“Barbara, are you suggesting I give this up and become a boy again. It’s not going to happen.”

“But you are a boy Leslie. I get the feeling that Mom and Dad are just humoring you till you discover you have made a huge mistake and you want to put everything back the way it was before.”

“I can’t go back on this Barbara. I feel like a girl inside. I didn’t know what this feeling was until recently but now I know I will always feel like a girl and that’s what I am going to be. How come you are coming out with this now?”

“I love you Leslie honestly I do but I fear for you. I fear for what people will say and do to you. I could even understand if you said that you were gay, but to say you are a girl and change overnight is huge. I have never heard of anyone doing anything like that before.”

“And how many transgendered people do you know Barbara.”

“I don’t know any Leslie but I know how many bigots, rednecks and homophobic people are out there. They are everywhere. I bet there will be a couple of them here tonight.”

“Well they better not say anything because my Dad will stop them.”

“But even if they don’t say anything tonight, they could start talking to other people tomorrow. If my Mom and Dad get to hear about anyone calling you a dress wearing sissy boy they will be very upset and so will I.”

“Is that what you think I am Barbara a dress wearing sissy boy? I thought you had more respect for you than that.”

“That’s not what I think Leslie. I love you and want you to be happy and successful. I am worried that other people will say that and Mom and Dad and other people will hear it. I am afraid of how much pain it will cause.”

“Do you want me to become a girl Barbara?”

“I was happy with you as a boy Leslie. Dresses and all. But if you want to become a girl then I will support you any way I can.”

“Then stop being so negative. I know this has actually been easy for me so far but I know it will get harder. When it gets harder then I will need your help to get me through. But I don’t have a choice Barbara. This is who I am. I can’t go back to thinking that I am a boy because it just doesn’t work that way.”

“So your brain is really telling you that you are a girl?’

“Yes Barbara. Every inch of me screams girl, apart from the annoying bit between my legs. If I were to turn back and become a boy again I would have to lie to myself and pretend to be something that I am not for the rest of my life.”

“This, Barbara.” I stood up in front of her and showed her. “My skirt, my shoes, my earrings, my boobs,” and I grabbed them to show her. “This is what I am and its girl. What I used to be was just camouflage to get me through another day and pass the time till I could put on a dress again. I didn’t enjoy being a boy. I used to enjoy some of the things I did while I was a boy but being a boy was crap. How can you expect me to go back to that?”

Barbara was crying now because I was shouting at her but I couldn’t stop.

“Being a girl is everything beautiful and happy and fulfilling. You can’t imagine how jealous I was of you and my sisters for all those years. You are beautiful and you get to wear pretty clothes and be feminine. I couldn’t do any of those things. I had to hang out with boys and do stupid boys stuff. It was the pitts.”

“I can’t imagine spending another day as a boy. That part of me is gone, washed down the tubes and never coming back.”

An arm came around me from behind. It was my Mom and she was crying too. In the doorway behind her were my Dad and Dawn. They all hugged me as I burst into tears myself and buried my head in my mom’s chest.

“We didn’t know you felt like that Leslie,” said my Dad. “We had no idea what was going on in your head. We will get you through this honest we will. You are a beautiful girl now and we want you to stay that way.”

“Let it out Leslie just let it all out,” said my Mom. “I am going to love you, my youngest daughter and all of your sisters for ever and ever and make everything better, you just watch me.”

As I recovered from my tantrum, I realized that I had been shouting at Barbara. I pulled away from my Mom and Barbara was standing beside me holding my arm.

“I am really sorry Barbara,” I said. “I guess I just needed to dump on someone and you just happened to turn the switch.”

“That’s OK Leslie. I understand you a lot more after that. I guess we all do.”

“No more camouflage?” said Dawn.

“No more camouflage,” I said.

“OK you have had enough time to recover, we have stuff to do and people coming,” said Dawn. “But first show me what’s in those bags.”

I had to give Dawn a big hug too as she was being helpful to me. I really do love my sisters, but then Dawn started crying.

“I still can’t believe I did all those stupid things to you to try to prove you were not gay.”

“You didn’t know Dawn. I suppose it made sense to you at the time, and I can tell you that my few boy parts got really excited when you did. You are a very beautiful woman Dawn and please don’t ever change.”

I kissed her then realized that I needed to do something to get us all out of this malaise. I started unwrapping my purchases and hanging them on hangers on the front of my closets so my sisters could see them. They complemented my choice and both commented that they were glad to see that I favored dresses and skirts over jeans.

I then showed them the dress I had bought for this evening. I was a dark blue sleeveless lace dress with a full nylon/silky liner of the same color. It had wide straps and a medium low neckline that although gave me some room to display some jewelry, did not reveal any cleavage. The back was low but not enough to stop me from wearing a normal bra. The waistline was fitted, the skirt was narrow with a split at the back and the hem was mid knee. I would wear it with dark blue 4” open toe pumps.

They were both impressed and wanted to help me accessorize, but I told them I could not wear anything loose that might scratch my guitar or get in the way of my playing. They understood of course.

I also asked them for a little time on my own because I had another busy day and wanted to rest and reflect for a little while. After more hugs they left and I closed the door behind them and curled up on my bed for a moment to collect my thoughts.

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What seemed like only moments later Dawn was knocking at my door asking why I was not coming down to welcome the guests. I explained that I had fallen asleep and was not even showered. She asked if she could help and I asked her to come back after I got a quick shower.

I showered and dressed in my new panties, bra with breast forms and corset, and put on a silk dressing down and went into my room where Dawn and Barbara joined me. I sat at my dresser with my bag of cosmetics.

Dawn remarked. “This will never do. This is still a boy’s room and will have to change. Let’s go into my room where I have everything we need to make you the prettiest you can ever be.”

So we moved into Dawn’s room and I sat down in front of her dressing table where the difference was obvious. Everything a girl needed was still here and accessibly arranged for use, even though she didn’t actually live here anymore.

They both worked on me and they persuaded me to just sit back do as I was told. They did everything for me. Dawn even gave me false eyelashes with a little sparkle in them. They fixed up my hair and added appropriate jewelry and in just a few minutes I was transformed into the beautiful young woman that I felt like on the inside. I felt like a million dollars. I was very happy and thanked them.

While I was still in the chair, Dawn gave me a piece of paper.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Read it,” said Dawn.

It was an email so I read it to myself.

8:47 am. September 13th.
Charlie and Morag Haigt
Winters Rest Park
Reading PA

To all my dear friends who we are hoping will be able to come to our music evening this evening.

While you received an invitation to one of our regular music evenings, this will be a special evening because we wish to introduce our daughter Leslie to you.

Until recently we were all under the impression that Leslie was a boy, but we were wrong. We have recently discovered that Leslie is actually a very beautiful girl and she has always been a girl. The details of this we cannot discuss with you but we hope that you will treat out daughter Leslie with the same love and respect you have always treated all of our family.

Apart from this introduction, this evening will be a regular music evening that we hope you will all contribute to and enjoy, and if we are lucky our beautiful daughter Leslie will sing for us.

Best wishes.

Charlie and Morag.

I was shocked. He sent this even before we had spoken today. He had already accepted me. I was so happy I had to hug Dawn and Barbara right there. I was apprehensive to walk down those steps into all my Mom and Dad’s friends before, but this made me feel a lot more confident.

“OK I am ready,” I said. “Let me put my dress on and go play some music.”

We went into my room to put my dress on. I know I am talking about me and I might be a bit bias, but I know I look good. I looked somewhat like Fiona and Barbara. A little different to Dawn but you could tell I was one of the Haigt sisters.

After checking the mirror one more time I hugged my sisters again and walked out of my room towards the stairs. My sisters followed me but a few feet behind and let me descend the stairs on my own.

There must have been close to thirty people standing in the great room as I started to descend the steps slightly sideways being mindful of my high heel and holding on to the banister rail. Many or most of them were eating appetizers or drinking wine and beer.

As I descended further more and more people started to look up at me and slowly the room got quieter. I could see me Mom and Dad standing with Eliot and another couple I didn’t know. I could see Dr. London with a very beautiful lady that I assumed was his wife talking to more people I didn’t know. Ralph from the Fox Hollow and Roger Teller the keyboard player were there plus many other familiar and unfamiliar faces.

As I got closer to the bottom of the stairs the room went quiet and someone started clapping. In moments the whole room was applauding me. It felt kind of strange being applauded because I hadn’t done anything yet, but it did seem welcoming.

I stood on the second step for a few moments and looked around and tried to smile at everyone and acknowledge everyone I knew but I gave up on that and decided to step across the room give my Dad a huge great big hug. Mom, Dawn, Barbara and Mark all joined in, then when that was over I gave Eliot a little hug so he didn’t feel left out.

My Dad then shouted to anyone that was listening. “OK. Anyone want to play some music?”

A few people replied yes and the assembled group started drifting towards the music room.

I grabbed my Mom’s arm to tell her. “I haven’t eaten since lunch and I am famished Mom.”

She understood so we drifted into the dining room to get some food. Eliot followed us. As we reached the table where the food was laid out he put his hand one mine and I turned to him.

“You look very beautiful tonight Leslie,” he said. “My dad told me to tell you that early and often to make sure you know that I think you are very beautiful so maybe you might kiss me again.”

“I can see that you Dad is a very smart guy Eliot, but I am hoping we could just be friends.”

“That’s OK Leslie. I want to be your friend but I am still going to tell you how beautiful you are.”

So I turned to him placing my hands on either side of his face and kissed him square on the mouth.

“OK Eliot,” I said. “I might kiss you once in a while but we are still going to be just friends.”

My Mom saw us and she blushed a little and smiled.

“Wow. My Dad’s advice worked better than I thought,” said Eliot with a large beaming smile across his face.

“As I said Eliot your Dad must be a very smart man. Did you bring a guitar?”

“I did.”

“What did you being?”

“I brought my SG.”

“Brilliant,” I said. “Can you play ‘If it makes you happy’ by Sheryl Crow?”

“You bet I can. I have been practicing real hard.”

“Great we are going to play it later. Can you the intro to ‘Leaving Las Vegas?”

“Sure I can. Are you gonna be playing chords?”

“Of course. That makes two we can do. When you do ‘If it makes you happy,’ do you use open G tuning?”

“Of course.”

“Then we can do Rolling Stones stuff. Then do you want to do ‘Brown Sugar? Massive. That’s 3 song we can do on our own and I am sure we will be able to join in with everyone else. But right now I need to eat. Can you give me a couple of minutes because I haven’t eaten since lunch and its after 8 already.”

The Music had started and someone was playing some bluegrass and the fiddler was smokin’.

“That’s OK,” said Eliot. “I can go and mingle if you want.”

“You don’t have to leave, just let me eat. Tell me what’s been happening with you and our other friends. First tell me what you are doing.”

“I thought you knew. I am doing the personal support worker program at Alvernia University here in the city. I didn’t get accepted at any of the universities I could afford. I didn’t have the grades that you did. Anyway after I have done this for a couple of years I can switch to a nursing degree if I keep my grades up.”

I was listening but eating at the same time.

“Matt and Duke have left town. Matt joined the Air Force and Duke went to work at his uncles’ lumber mill in Oregon. I don’t expect to see them much till maybe Christmas. I have been hanging around to Walter the bass player. He got himself a job at the Guitar Center in town. It doesn’t pay much, but he is happy there being involved with music all day.

“Do you guys still play together?” I asked between mouthfuls.

“At least twice a week. Next time you are home you should come and jam with us. We sometimes get to use the practice room at the guitar center and all kinds of musicians drop in.”

I stuffed myself with some food then grabbed a glass of wine while nobody was looking. Eliot stuck to his Coke because he was driving. We wandered into music room and some people were singing Wagon wheel. My Dad was on bass but I didn’t know the other people. Ralph from the Fox Hollow came up to speak to me.

“So I wasn’t singing with Fiona after all? You had me fooled. You look just like her.”

“No I am afraid that was me, but I consider it a complement for you to think I look like my sister Fiona. If we do the same song again tonight I swear I will do it better,” I replied.

“Sure. I thought you did it pretty good last time. I will add us to the list.”

“We have a list tonight?” I asked.

“There is already a full page of people who want to play, but your Dad has already blocked out a chunk in the middle for you. Go see.”

The page was mostly full apart from a block in the middle where my Dad had written ‘Leslie gets to play any time she wants’ and put his name after it. Most embarrassing.

I asked Elliot where his guitar was and he pointed to the side of the stage where it was already plugged in and on a stand so we headed for the stage.

The last song ended and the singer and guitar player got down out of our way. I got up on the stage and asked the drummer and my Dad if they could do ‘If it makes you happy’ and they both said yes so I got Elliot to play the into and we were running.

Eliot sounded really cool on the intro that kind of goes through the whole song. I didn’t want to sing over him because he sounded so cool, but that was the song.

‘We belong far away from here’
‘Put on a prom show and play for mosquitoes and anywhere in between’
‘We’ve been around the thrift store jungles’
‘Found Geronimo’s rifle and Marilyn’s shampoo and Benny Goodman’s corset and pen’
‘It’s OK I made this up’
‘I promised you I’d never give up’

‘If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad’
‘If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad’

That song is always a little hard to sing as I have to almost shout at the top of my voice to get the chorus out. This time I nearly choked on it. I had to jump off the stage and find myself a glass of red wine after the first chorus. Purely for medicinal purposes of course. I believe anyone who sings will understand.

I got back up on the stage and we completed the song. Eliot did the guitar solo at the end and finished with the intro all over again. I was amazed how cool he sounded. He has certainly been practicing. We got great applause and whistles from the assembled crowd.

I wanted to do ‘Leaving Las Vegas’ next so I grabbed my guitar which someone had kindly set up for me and I asked the guy who had been playing before us if Eliot could use his guitar and he of course said yes so we did that song and then went back to electric for ‘Brown Sugar’. Eliot was amazing on the guitar again.

We got off the stage to a big round of applause and whistles again.

As I was stepping off the stage, Dr. London was there held me down and offered his hand.

“I wouldn’t have believed it unless I was it for myself,” he said.

“What?” I asked.

“You look like you have been doing this for years. You are the prettiest young woman in the room, together with your sisters that is, and this is the prettiest slightly older woman in the room, my lovely wife Sarah-Anne.”

And she was lovely too. “Very pleased to meet you Sarah-Anne,” I said.

“And you too Leslie. You sing beautifully. Are you going to sing again?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I will.”

At that moment Ralph was standing on the stage and he announced that he wanted to sing ‘Picture’ with me and Roger Teller come up and play for us together with my Dad on bass and the drummer who’s name I did not know.

This getting up and singing almost every other song continued for the next couple of hours and I got quite tired. The one or two glasses of wine added. The last song I did was ‘I wish I could shimmy like my sister Kate’ with Dawn doing her usual shimmying and Barbara and I singing backup to her. It was another riot.

After that I spoke to a couple of people around the room and soon decided that I had stolen one more glass of wine than I should have and I asked my Dad to escort me up to bed, but before I could do that, Eliot came and asked me to walk him to his car because he was leaving.

I know he had been around for the last hour or so but I hadn’t paid him much attention, so I agreed.

As soon as we got outside the front door he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to him giving me the most delicious deep kiss resulting in me going even weaker at the knees than I already was. After a wonderful minute or so I realized what I was doing and franticly pushed him away.

“No Eliot I can’t do this with you.”

“What’s wrong Leslie? Why not?”

“Not at the moment Eliot. I need real friends not boyfriends or lovers. You don’t seem to realize that I am messed up. I did it again.”

“Did what again Leslie. I don’t understand.”

“It’s not your fault but every boy I meet wants to kiss me and I can’t stop myself. This being a girl thing is not easy.”

“But we have stopped Leslie. We only kissed.”

“But it’s never just a kiss. I am learning that kisses mean so much more than you think. But I kissed someone else last night Eliot.”

“But it was me you kissed last night.”

“No Eliot I was kissing someone else after you.”

He went quiet and a look of shock came over him. I didn’t know what to say to him. He looked so disappointed.

“I’m sorry Eliot. I will call you next time I am home.” I just left him there and I went inside to find my way up the stairs to bed.

When I got to my room I threw all of my clothes in a ball at the foot of the bed, put a nighty on and got in bed to cry myself to sleep thinking I have just upset another friend and really nice person.

I woke in the middle of the night needing the bathroom and nearly scaring myself half to death with the view in the bathroom mirror. My make-up had run sideways across my face with the tears I had shed and the rubbing of my eyes. I had also demolished Dawn’s false eyelashes which were half hanging off.

I had to do the makeup remover and moisturizer thing in the middle of the night. It didn’t stop me from going straight off to sleep again when I returned to bed.