Starting College My Way
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Starting College My Way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
It’s is time for Leslie to go off to college. Leslie is a closet crossdresser. His sisters used
to dress him as a girl when he was young and he loved it, but as he got older his parents
made them stop. He loves wearing dresses, but now has to do it in secret. He hopes that
being away from home he will find opportunities to dress as a girl, but by a strange set of
mistakes and coincidences, he finds himself wearing dresses far more than he expected.
Chapter 1. Leaving home.
Thursday September 5th
“So you have the address and the other students are expecting you,” said my Mom.
“Yes Mom and I have the GPS to show me how to get there.”
“And be very careful in Philly, especially on the Schuylkill expressway,” she continued unabated, “and you’ve get your cellphone?”
“Yes Mom I always have my cellphone!”
“Don’t forget to call when you get there and no texting while you are driving.”
“Yes Mom.”
“And don’t be home too late because we worry about you if you’re late.”
“I am 19 now Mom and I can take care of myself you know.”
“I know Leslie but you will always be my little boy.”
”Oh please don’t remind me again Mom I get that all the time from my sisters.”
My name is Leslie Haigt and I was named after my Scottish grandfather. Leslie was a popular boys name in the earlier part of the 20 century but has since become popular as a girl’s name and very few boys are named Leslie, but it’s my name, but I don’t want to worry you with my problems. My family is from Reading PA which leaves a 2 1/2 hour drive to get to my new college where I will soon begin studying math after scoring really high SATs.
It was is not a terrible long drive from my home in Reading PA to my new college town of Mt Laurel NJ where I would spend the next few year of my life, but it was far enough where I didn’t expect my parents to just show up unexpectedly. I am going to learn to become a mathematician, whatever they do I am not sure but I am told it can pay really well. I expect math to lead me into computer programming which is my favorite subject, but before I can attend class I need to find somewhere to live which is where I am going now.
Winston College is a well-respected university, without a football or any other major sports program, which attracted me because it cuts down on the jocks. I have a couple of friends who are jocks but I don’t want to go to a big college where they take ‘jockmanship’ to the next level. I am hoping it’s going to be a quiet nerdy type college where I should fit in just fine.
The college has very few faculty residence dorms, but it does send out a publication that lists all available student accommodation that have been verified as suitable, so I called a few and arranged appointments.
I didn’t want anyone to travel with me because I could use some alone time. I live with my mother, father and one or two sisters with another sister close by. I really like my family and all of my sisters but they do get a little overpowering sometimes and I want to feel more like an adult. When they are around I am always the little one.
Another reason to make the trip on my own is so I can stop at a couple of clothes stores in areas where I am not known and check out the intimates department and maybe get a couple of items for myself.
I drove through Philly and across the Franklin Bridge into New Jersey without problem, mainly because it’s all interstate and the GPS makes that part easy. I am driving my Mom’s old Honda Civil that I think is a great little car and my Mom has had it from new which is 12 years. True my oldest sister had use of it when she was at college but she didn’t abuse it either. The Garmin led me into Mt Laurel and on to the university grounds where I got my student card before the rush on Monday, then it was back to the car and soon I was driving down a pleasant avenue of large old houses with huge trees around them providing lots of shade. I stopped outside 920 Swedes Road.
This must have been a very regal house a few years ago when these houses were in style. It looked a little dated now, but perfect for dividing up into college student apartments.
The main door led me into a large conservatory with glass on 3 sides of the room. On the other wall there were two doors labeled 920A and 920B. I pushed the button for 920B which is the upstairs apartment and the one I had asked to see. The bell rang. Soon an attractive blonde woman/girl came to the door.
“Hi I am here about the room”
“Oh you must be Leslie?” she asked as she shook my hand. “I am Angie the girl you spoke to on the phone and I am a freshman taking engineering. Please come in and take a look around. The other girls are in their rooms and will be glad to meet you.”
She showed me up the steep but wide stairway and into the large eat-in kitchen which was all very clean and tidy, and she showed me the cupboards that each person has for their food.
“I have been here for two weeks already, making sure I find myself a good job,” she said. “I don’t have a rich family so I need to support myself. We all share the cooking and cleaning equally and we have a rule that no dishes will ever be left on the counter or in the sink, ever, because they should either be clean and in the cupboard or in the dishwasher, but I am sure that is what you were expecting.” She continued through the kitchen into a hallway and into what would be my room, which was larger than I expected, with two closets big enough to store most of my stuff and a desk against the far wall, but no other furniture. I made a mental note that I was going to need to get myself a bed and a dresser and other stuff. Next to my room there was a back door leading to a deck and a fire escape.
“We expect to have a few nice evenings on that deck before the good weather is finished,” she said. “And with all of the trees around us no one can see what we are doing up there.”
‘That’s nice’ I thought, but I couldn’t think what of what they would be doing up there.
“And that leads us to Carla’s room,” said Angie, where I found myself smiling at a pretty young red headed young woman sitting on the edge of her bed in a bath robe that was open at the front showing her bra and panties. She held her robe closed with one hand then stood up to shake my hand.
“Hi I am Carla. Forget about the last name right now as you will never be able to remember it,” she said with great expression in her voice. “I hope you will enjoy it here because we all do and we all have a good friendship together. What will you be studying? I am studying ECE” (which I later found out was early childhood education, and the reason why she talks to everyone in that expressive manner, a little like she is talking to a child) “and I am my second year of a 4 year program.”
It took me a moment to realize that she was waiting for me to answer the question she had asked two sentences ago.
“Oh, mathematics,” I replied.
“Oooh do we have a brainiac in our midst?” said Carla.
“I wouldn’t say that,” I answered, “although I will admit to being a nerd.”
“Don’t worry, you don’t look like a nerd. Have you got any special characteristics we should know about we fore we let you join our little clique?” asked Carla.
“Oh I should let you know that I play guitar and sing so I am not always the quietest of people, but I will promise to shut up if you need to study or anything.”
“Oh that’s cool provided everyone understands each other’s need to have quiet time to get our work done then we will get on fine,” said Angie, “so what type of music do you play?”
“Well my sister and I like to play and sing and are always looking for nice songs that we can both do together. My sister Fiona is a year older than me and is studying Music at the Philly School of Art. I am sure she will come over here once in a while so we can sing together. Just lately we have been learning the Band Perry song ‘If I die young’ because it’s so beautiful.”
They both agreed how pretty that song is and said if I can sing that kind of song then we could play any time. Then for some reason they both just gave me a hug. I guess that song just makes people want to hug each other. When the hugs were over there was silence for just a moment before Carla started talking again.
“So you have to meet MJ while you are here. She is a really nice girl, just a little different to me or Angie,” Carla said as we made our way down the hall and knocked on MJ’s door. A pretty young lady about my size opened the door wearing jeans and a baggy tee shirt, shortish brown hair and no make-up but still quite attractive. The first thing I noticed about her were the words ‘Don’t Take No Crap Sister’ across her chest. She looked at us all in turn without saying anything.
“MJ this is Leslie our prospective new roommate,” said Angie.
“Thanks goodness,” said MJ. “I thought it was the mice come to collect the rent.”
“You have mice?” I asked with a raised pitch to my voice.
“No,” said Carla. “We had mice for a while last year but they are gone now. MJ likes to joke that the mice were part of the Chinese family that own the building because they are all so small.”
“That and the fact that it took so long to get rid of the mice that I though they must have been family,” said MJ in a droll monotone voice. “Look it’s really nice to meet you but I have been feeling a bit down today. I just heard that John F Kennedy died.”
“But he’s been dead since before you were born,” said Angie.
“I know that now,” she said, “but it doesn’t make me feel any better when people keep hiding things from me. He was the most famous catholic who ever lived.”
“What about the Pope,” I said.
“Don’t split hairs,” said MJ. “I’m sure he could have been Pope if it wasn’t for that horrible Monroe woman.”
It took me a moment to realize that this girl was not just crazy but just being a comedian and another moment for me to burst out giggling.
“What’s up with her,” MJ asked as I was giggling.
“Must be allergic to the mice,” said Carla.
I couldn’t stop giggling so Angie put her arm around my shoulders and let me down the hallway. But I could still hear MJ from behind me. “She is studying psychology,” said Angie. “Can you imagine her as a shrink making jokes about her patients? I think she should be studying drama. She is always acting out one part or another.”
“Don’t listen to anything these two say, they are liars,” MJ continued from her room. “They will probable tell you that I am perfectly normal and you don’t have to worry about me.”
“I think MJ likes you already,” said Angie. “She likes anyone who gets her dry sense of humor and laughs at her jokes. We try to keep a straight face and just laugh on the inside but sometimes it can be difficult.”
“So what do you think,” said Carla from behind me. “Did we pass the test? Do you think you might want to stay with us, because we all like you?”
“I think you are all sweet and the room is nice,” I said. “Why should I bother looking at other places? You have sold me.” And that was the cue for more hugs from Carla and Angie. MJ had already closed her door.
“So what is your plan now?” they asked, “and when are you going to move in?”
“Well its Thursday today and I don’t have my first class till Wednesday, so I was thinking of moving in Sunday. My bed won’t arrive till Monday but we have a nice blow up mattress at home that I can use for one night.”
That is cool they explained as Monday and Tuesday are orientation and meet and greet days, together with time to get books etc. and my bed being delivered. I gave Angie a check for the rent and they gave me a key, then I was on my way back. I was really pleased with myself finding a nice place to stay on my first attempt, which also gave me some extra time to go clothes shopping on the way home.
My sisters were fun to be with when I was growing up. There always seemed to be one of them who had time for me, and when they occasionally dressed me up in girl’s clothes for fun and for some reason I didn’t complain. They said I looked cute as a girl. I said they looked cute as girls too so we didn’t have a problem. That got a little stale as I got to 8 or 9 and they were frightened of my friends seeing me in girls clothes so it kind of petered out.
I missed those times. I still want to feel cute, but now we at the stage where if I want to wear girl’s clothes, I have to do it in secret and I would be mortified if they found out, so I have appropriated some stuff for myself and when I am away at college I will dress some more.
Last year all of them were away from home for the first time ever so I go quite a few opportunities to dress up in their clothes, but I never left the house. I am hoping to get some opportunities to go outside in girls’ clothing, but I don’t know exactly how that is going to happen, but I think getting to share an apartment with 3 girls is a definite bonus.
I spent half an hour at J.C. Penney then half an hour at Belk looking for some bits and pieces. I bought myself a frilly pink lacy nightgown and matching panties and bath robe hoping that I had some occasion to use them and I bought a bra, matching panties and some breast enhancers to fill up the bra and give me a little lift, which I need because I am pretty flat otherwise. I also bought myself a summer dress in chiffon or something similar that was colored by red and orange flowers with lacy trim around the shoulders. All of these things I carefully hid in the trunk of the car so I could leave them at the apartment tomorrow.
Friday September 6th.
Today would be my last day at my Mom and Dad’s Real Estate office where I had worked part time during the summer. The entire office took me out for lunch at a local restaurant and after that they sent me home at 2pm. I was glad of a little time at home on my own to collect my girly things together in my red suitcase and take them to Mt Laurel with a box full of other essentials like books and games etc. and a couple of things for the room. My Mom gave me a nice picture of the family to hang on the wall and a reading lamp for the desk together with a bedside table, another lamp and a clock.
I got to Mt Laurel at 6:30 pm, I let myself in to the apartment and shouted up the stairs. No one answered so I took all my stuff up to the room and arranged it in a neat row of boxes with my red suitcase lying flat so my new dress wouldn’t wrinkle. I could unpack everything on Sunday when I moved in properly. When I was finished I grabbed a glass of water and sat down on the couch in the lounge area when MJ came and sat down on the couch next to me, pulled her legs under her, facing me and looked into my eyes.
“How are you pretty boy?” she said.
“I am doing just fine MJ thank you,” I said. “I’m just moving in a few things ahead of schedule before I move in properly on Sunday”.
“Do you mind me calling you pretty boy?” she said. “That kind of talk doesn’t bother you does it?”
“Uh, no,” I said unsure of where this was going. “As long as you don’t call me fuck features or dog face you can call me pretty much whatever you like.”
“Good.” She said. “I think we are going to get along just fine. I have some pretty cool friends you might like to meet and there are a couple of great places I know where people like us can hang out and not be bothered.”
“Places where jocks don’t know about and wouldn’t be seen dead in them anyway you mean?”
“You know it!” she said. “Where people like us can go and be ourselves and not be bothered by anyone.”
“I will look forward to it,” I said.
“I like you clothes,” she said.
“Oh I don’t wear stuff like this usually,” I told her. “These are my office clothes I have been wearing things like this to work at my folk’s office during the summer. You will never believe it but this tweed jacket actually belongs to my mother.”
“Oh I believe it, it’s really cool,” she said then she placed her hand on the back of mine that was resting on the sofa.
“I like you,” said MJ. “I think you and I are going to get along just fine.”
“I do too,” I replied. “I am really happy to find a place to stay with a group of nice young people who are so accepting of a nerd like me.”
“As long as you don’t try to bring any boys home here as that would upset me.”
“Oh I can assure you that is not going to happen,” I said. Then she gave me a tight hug and ran off to her room.
“See you on Sunday,” she shouted from her room.
I was really pleased. I had not even moved in yet and I was friends with 3 new girls, enough to get really nice friendly hugs from all of them. I did think it would be a little difficult to explain to my Mom and Dad that I would be living with 3 girls so I decided not to tell them anything. I would persuade my Mom and Dad that they didn’t need to come down and see where I was staying because I would be home so often they would never miss me. I would see how far that gets me anyhow. I drove home listening to public radio and some Black Keys music then went straight to bed when I got home. It had been a long day and I needed by beauty rest.
Saturday September 7th
I didn’t go far on Saturday because Mom and Dad had arranged a family dinner. My Mom and Dad are a happy friendly well-adjusted couple who have made money in real estate as they both work at their own real estate company in Reading. My very attractive family consists of my mother Morag Haigt(formally Fraser), Scottish name, who is 5’-9” slim delicate and kind of flat chested with long wavy dark brown hair. When she wants to look good she wears breast enhancers which give her a good cup size increase in measurement. I know because I have tried them.
She almost always wears jeans and has a very young looking body and could pass for 25 and gets carded at restaurants regularly. She usually wears flat shoes because she is taller that her husband, my Dad Charlie when she wears heels, but she looks fantastic in heels when she ever gets to wear them. My father Charlie Haigt is about 5’-8” and slim but solid, with an overburden of dark brown hair everywhere, except for a little male pattern baldness. He wears a full beard because he says keeping up with the shaving is such a chore. His beard seems to continue down onto his chest and down his arms and coming out of his shirt sleeves. His whole body is like a forest of pine trees.
I fortunately take after my mother’s side and have I almost no hair anywhere but my head. I hardly have any hair on my face, so until I start to grow a beard I have been using one of those home laser hair removers. Seems to be working great because I don’t ever need to shave and don’t even have a shaver for my face. Once in a while I shave my legs, but that is because I love the way my legs feel in nylon, which is an entirely different story.
Family dinner is always a grand affair at our house and our house is made for entertaining. We have a massive 6 bedroom home on the side of a hill looking south over the countryside a little south of Reading PA. The dining room which has tall cathedral ceilings and seats about 12, but only 7 tonight, and my Mom has the house laid out perfectly for home entertaining.
The dining room flows into the kitchen past the granite breakfast nook, and to the side of the dining area is a huge sand stone archway leading to the lounge area. The archway doesn’t actually hold anything up, it’s just a feature, but it sure is impressive to me and I have lived here for 3 years already. My parents took advantage of the subprime mortgage mess a few years ago. They got this house for far less than it is worth.
I have 3 older sisters, Barbara, Dawn and Fiona. Fiona and I had breakfast together before we did a little guitar practice. Mom and Dad both worked on Saturday but usually got home late afternoon to start cooking etc. unless they were negotiating a sale, but they could do that from home to if necessary. Barbara usually timed her arrival for the same time as Mom. Dawn on the other hand usually timed her arrival to be dramatically late.
My oldest sister Barbara is a sweet young lady, six years older than me who is 5’-3”, average build with reasonable curves and short straight medium brown hair with natural highlights which stops above her shoulders. Barbara wears glasses but she doesn’t always have to. We think it’s a security thing because she has worn glasses most of her life but only just recently have her eyes changed where she doesn’t need them so much.
Barbara is shy and does not usually have a boyfriend, but dates occasionally. I think she is a little prudish and doesn’t put out, so guys lose patience with her after a couple of dates. It would be wonderful to see her with a nice man but it has not happened yet. Barbara has her own condo in town that Mom and Dad helped her buy, but she doesn’t seem to spend a lot of time in it because she is either at work at the hospital, radiologist, or at home with mom. They are each other’s best friends.
Dawn is my older sister by 4 years, as sharp as a knife and occasionally cutting to go with it. She has long medium brown hair. She is about 5’-9” with good proportions and beautiful curves in all the right places. She has a wonderful cleavage and seems to want to show it to everybody all day, every day. She likes to act like a blonde sometimes when good looking guys are around and she wants to be attractive, but the rest of the time she can be controlling and manipulative, although she loves me and gives the most amazing hugs, frequently by pulling my face right into her cleavage, which has a very confusing effect on me. She is my sister but she often gives me a lasting erection and I believe she knows that she is doing it to me, but I don’t complain and she doesn’t stop, thank the good lord.
She is often on my side for many things but she can walk all over you in an instant if you are not on her side. Dawn recently got married to some young executive from the firm she interned at during her last summer at college. She did public relations and communication at college and has a great future ahead of her, when she gets a job that is. She does not want to start at the bottom and is waiting for a position with opportunity for expeditious advancement as she puts it. I don’t know her husband yet, the tall dark good looking Mark Caparica (Portuguese family name). He seems to be all work and no play. I bet she has him wrapped around her little finger.
Fiona is my older sister by 1 year although many people say she could be my identical twin. We are both about 5’-5” slim with mousy brown hair. She is at University of Arts in Philadelphia studying music, so when I decided to go to Winston in Mt Laurel she agreed to meet me in Philly or Cherry Hill every Sunday so we could catch up. They say I could have studied Music too but I did not want to go to the same university as my sister as that would have been too restrictive. I wanted some freedom.
We have been briefly mistaken for each other even recently, or to be more correct I have been mistaken for her, so I try to dress masculine with cargo shorts, baggy tees and basketball shoes, although I never play basketball any more. I gave up when my friends I used to play with all grew up faster and taller than me and I could not get by them anymore, too short is my excuse.
Fiona and I are very close, almost like identical twins and we were inseparable for long periods of our childhood. We usually catch up with each other every day. This morning was an interesting conversation when I told her that I had found an apartment with 3 girls. She didn’t understand how that could happen because that wasn’t allowed at her college, at college approved residences anyway, but I assured her it had happened to me and showed her the key. I described the girls to her and explained how we were going to sing for them when we could arrange it.
Fiona has this wonderful way of snuggling up to me when we were sitting together. She has been doing it since before I can remember and I always feel so safe when she does it. She doesn’t hug or cuddle or anything like that, she just sits so close to me that we are constantly touching each other whenever we move. I don’t ever go into her room when she is sleeping but she can often be found in my room. Sometimes she will creep into my bed late at night, sometimes she will lay on the covers and not touch me and sometimes she will get in bed with me and snuggle, especially if it is cold outside. Sometimes I wake up in the morning with her wrapped around me. It has gotten a little awkward as we have got older because she is attractive and she has tits. I know she has tits because sometimes I can feel them resting on my back, giving me an erection, but I could never say anything because I love her dearly and would never want her to stop her from cuddling.
Dawn came home early without her husband today. She came in to see Fiona and me as we played guitar in the music room. She was wearing a black short sleeved dress with a fairly slim fitting skirt cut just below the knee and she was wearing really nice probably 5” high heels. Her dress was low cut revealing acres of cleavage.
I tried to remain seated when she came in but she made me put my guitar down and stand up to give her a hug.
“I’m not letting you away without a real hug young man,” she said. “You are my favorite brother and I want you to appreciate me.” She pulled my face against her chest and pulled my arms around her telling me to hug her too. “Oh how can I resist you, you wonderful little man,” she said while kissing me on the forehead and cheek. “I asked Mom if I could take you home with me to keep me company while my husband is at work but she said that you have to go to college.” Then while still keeping a hold of me she leaned over and gave Fiona a kiss on the lips. She has an amazing feminine presence, together with her perfume can be so arousing for a 19 year old. As it was I had to pull my hips away from her so my erection wouldn’t poke her in the leg. Then she held me away from her at arm’s length so my eyes were staring her right in the cleavage.
“Well aren’t you going to tell me how fabulous I look today Leslie,” she said, almost begging me to stare down her dress. I began to stutter a reply.
“Dawn you know I, I.” Then she pulled me to her again and hugged me tight again. It was like she was trying to press her left tit into my right ear.
“That’s OK Leslie dear, I know you love me and I am your favorite woman in the whole world. Just remember when you bring those nice college girls back home to meet your family, that I will give you big hugs like this, so that they will know what high standards they have to keep up with and will learn very quickly to appreciate you.”
I had my eyes closed at that moment but I could hear Fiona giggling behind me.
“Dawn don’t you think you are going to spoil him for all other women smothering him like that?” said Fiona.
“Of course not darling. He loves getting big hugs from me don’t you Leslie?”
I couldn’t talk at that particular moment but I did nod my head a little.
“He knows I am only having a little fun with him because he is so sweet and handsome.”
At that moment she put her hands either side of my face and she did kiss me on the lips, with her mouth closed, but it was heavenly.
“Look at him blush Dawn. He is going to need 10 minutes in his room alone after that going over,” said Fiona half laughing. With that she turned me around and placed me on the sofa next to Fiona. Then she bent over and placed her hands on my knees, looked me in the eyes and ever so gently started to waggle her shoulders.
“He is fine. I am just trying to show my little brother how much we all love him,” she said.
I was almost hyperventilating. Her tits were almost falling out of her dress and gently bouncing from side to side and I could see through her cleavage right down her dress almost to her panties. I could feel the blood vessels popping in my forehead and my dick trying to poke its way through my pants.
“Dawn what are you doing to him?” asked my mother from the doorway.
Dawn swiveled round and sat on the sofa next to me.
“We were just asking him about all his girlfriends,” said Dawn.
“Are these girls bothering you Leslie?” Mom asked.
“No Mom its OK,” I said in a high pitched voice that sounded like I had been trying to swallow chalk dust.
“OK then as long as you are not complaining,” Mom said. “Dinner will be in 20 minutes so please everyone get ready.” Then Mom disappeared towards the Kitchen.
With my Mom gone Dawn resumed her assault. He put one arm around my neck and onto my chest and with the other she started rubbing my stomach, then she whispered clearly in my ear. “You go first.” She said. “We will give you 5 minutes before we come and start banging on the bathroom door.” Then she stuck her tongue in my ear.
I was startled. No one had ever done that to me before. I stood straight upright and turned to look at Dawn. Dawn and Fiona were both giggling to each other so I headed for the bathroom.
“And change your underwear before you come back down here,” said Dawn.
I closed and locked the door behind me with visions of Dawn’s beautiful swinging tits dancing before my eyes. ‘Oh Fuck’ I thought to myself. How can a woman do that to her own little brother? I was wondering if there was a way that I could bottle that up and bring it out again when I needed it. My sister is Fucking amazing.
Then there was a knocking at the door. It was Dawn.
“Leslie, what are you doing in there? Can we come in and help you?” said Dawn, but I could hear Fiona giggling behind her.
“Just open the door a little so we can see what you are doing Leslie. It’s OK Leslie we love you.”
“No fucking’ way Dawn. I love you too but I am just going to stay here on my own for a couple of minutes. O.K.”
“That’s fine dear but if you need our help just call. We will be in our rooms freshening up.”
After a couple of minutes I began to regain my composure but I felt rather fragile and I was sure to get another raging hard on if I was left with Dawn again for a moment. I did have to change my undies because of what Dawn had done to me so I went to my room and got cleaned up.
When I came down I was the last one to the table, and I was very glad I had luckily changed into a nice shirt and long pants because everyone else was dressed up. Even Dad was wearing a tie. They had left me a place at the end of the table opposite Dad where Mom usually sits. Everyone smiled but did not say anything till my Dad spoke.
“Sit at the Head of the table today Leslie because this dinner is in your honor,” my Dad said. I sat down them my Dad started talking again. “We thought we would have this little dinner in your honor because you are our youngest and tomorrow you are off to college. You are not a boy any more, you are a man off to make his way in the world and leave your Mom and me with this great big empty nest. But before we go any further, give the man a glass of wine.”
So they passed the bottle down and Fiona who was sitting next to me poured me a big glass of Shiraz that they all knew was my favorite.
Fiona was wearing a red evening dress that I had not seen before. It was low cut and showed cleavage that I am not used to seeing from my youngest sister. She looked more grown up than usual. Next to her was my Mom wearing a black evening dress with short sleeves that had small orange flowers all over it in little patterns. Very pretty. My mom looked about the same age as my sisters except of a couple of small laugh lines in the corner of her eyes. My Dad wore an olive green suede jacket with a light brown shirt and tie. Very 90s.
Mark wore a dark pinstripe suit with a red tie. He looked like a cross between a male model and a young politician. I hadn’t heard him say anything since he got here. Dawn was fantastic just like she had been before dinner, although now she had on huge gold cascading earrings that almost touched her shoulders and a cascading gold necklace that ended somewhere down in her cleavage, and her hair was loosely pulled back behind her head. Barbara was not wearing glasses but was in full perfect make-up wearing a pale blue satin blouse open down a few buttons showing that she has some cleavage too. A single string of white pearls looked terrific on her.
“I can’t believe it,” I said. They looked at me wondering what I was going to say. “I have never seen my family looking so beautiful.” My Mom started blushing and both Fiona and Barbara reached out to touch my hands. “Not that you’re not all already beautiful but today you all look especially beautiful,” I continued. “Apart from my Dad that is. Did you have to special order that jacket from the Austin Powers Clothing Company?” That brought a few chuckles.
“You should appreciate Leslie that I did not wear the same old business suit that I wear for work day in and day out. I tried to wear something different because it’s a special occasion.” I said nothing because I thought Dad was wanting to continue.
“My wonderful wife and I have brought up 4 wonderful children together and after nearly 25 years now the youngest of our flock is heading to college. And if you think there is a reminder there that our anniversary is coming up soon then you are correct. But there are a few things I want to say to let you know how I feel today.”
“Firstly I am as happy as can be, to be married to your mother.” He reached out and grabbed her hand. “She is prettier now than she was when I met her, and she was the prettiest girl in college back then.” Mom let a little tear run down her cheek. “I love her more than words can describe.”
“Secondly I am so unbelievable happy to have four beautiful, smart and loving children and to see that you have all grown up so good to be with. I just enjoy your company so much and I hope even if you have moved out you will please come back as often and for as long as you can.” He stopped for a moment to compose himself and we all felt that this must be difficult to say.
“Last but not least. I will be very sad on Monday evening when me and your Mom sit down to our evening meal on our own. I will be sad yes, but this is not the end of our lives. Far from it. I will welcome any and all of you please come back when you can, but please call first, because on Monday morning I will coming down to breakfast in the nude.” Dad had now raised his presence and was smiling from ear to ear.
“I hate wearing clothes,” he said with a clear expression of disgust.” “And if any of you have seen me without a shirt you will know that I carry my own insulation around with me.” He lowered his volume a tad and spoke directly to my sisters. “And I am certain that you girls don’t want to see it.” Then he paused and looked at me. “The same goes for you too Leslie. Call in advance because you’re Mom has a beautiful body too, and now that you guys are gone there is no need to cover it up.”
“Don’t you think you might scare the neighbors?” said Barbara.
“But that’s why we bought this house and paid so much money darlings. Please look out of the window and look for houses. You can’t see any. We are not overlooked in any direction, except from near the gate, but we intend to keep the gate closed and use the remote operator that we have never used.”
“Listen guys,” my Mom intervened. “I let your dad talk before dinner because he was bubbling to tell you his news but it’s time to eat. Please got into the kitchen and serve yourselves salad. Today is youngest first.”
After salad, Mom served seafood marinara with linguini, fillet steaks and a range of fruit and chocolate. The 3 of bottles of wine that were on the table disappeared quickly, but Dad keeps a stock of good wines in a cool cellar deep in the house. Conversation broke out in various groups about various subjects and there were comparisons to Robin Williams and other hairy people until Dad stood up and said “Let’s play some music.” So we all migrated to the Music room.
The whole family is musical and we are often known to have a family jam sessions extending late into the night which we all love tremendously. Mom plays piano and Dad plays double bass. They met at a college jazz club and have been inseparable since, playing together regularly. Barbara played violin in her school orchestra but has never got much into jazz but she joins in and does an occasional solo.
Dawn loves jazz and plays drums, but since she found out that her tits bounce around when she plays mesmerizing the first 3 rows of any audience, she has not played in public, but she will still play with us, wearing a men’s tee shirt unfortunately. Fiona and I like to play guitar and sing together and have done a couple of recitals for her school music program. I think we were pretty good but we didn’t get and recording offers yet. My buddies said we sounded like two cute girls, which hurt a little but somehow it was not totally unexpected. My voice is high for a guy.
The music room is a big room built onto the side of the house with a tall cathedral ceiling and exposed oak beams. A 12” high stage right across one end and hardwood paneling right up to the ceiling behind the stage gives the room an impressive sound. The baby grand piano and Dawn’s drums are permanently arranged on the stage, but there is still room for 3 or 4 other players. One side of the room has tall windows looking out into the countryside and a door out onto the deck. The other side of the room has a double doorway entrance and windows overlooking the lounge area of the house. There are curtains for all the windows on both sides but they were all open at this time.
The opposite end of the room to the stage has floor to ceiling dark red velvet curtains. On the window side of the room there was a row of guitars on stands and string instrument cases. There were also a couple of small amps in front of the stage plus PA speakers on the walls and 4 mics set up on stands in front of the stage. There was a big leather couch and a coffee table set up in front of the stage for the audience (Mark) and still room behind for another 15 or 20 people.
Dawn, who had changed into shorts and a tee shirt, went straight for her drums and started practicing a few rolls and bridges. Dad and Mark were setting up wine and stuff on a table at the side of the stage and Mom came in with a tray of nibblies. The string section Barbara, Fiona and me set to tuning the instruments, I set up my new Taylor 110CE and Fiona’s Yamaha AC3R to play through the Peavey acoustic amp and we were ready to play. After Dad had moved over to his stand-up double bass and confirmed his tuning, he announced “Shake Rattle and Roll in A,” and Dawn immediately began her solo intro before Dad, Mom and Barb joined in before Dad started singing.
“Get out of that Kitchen and rattle those pots and pans,” etc. etc.
After the first verse Barb came in with a cool solo. She had obviously been practicing her pentatonic scales. Me, Mom then Dad soloed after the second verse then Dawn finished the song off with a solo. Much hooting and high fiving followed.
We played a range of different pop, jazz, blues and rock songs for a couple of hours and the light from outside started to dim. Cue for Fiona and me to start singing duets with harmonies to our own playing.
While Fiona and I played, Dad put a spot on us and turned the lights down, but through the darkness I could see Dawn draped all over Mark and I think he was getting as hot and bothered as I was earlier. We had a wonderful time, but playing music can be tiring even if you are having fun, especially if you add a glass or two of red wine. I was glad to see that everyone was staying the night and so we could all have breakfast together in the morning.
I was just drifting off to sleep when Fiona came into my room and got in bed beside me. I was wearing my usual tee shirt and my undies. She was obviously wearing a nightie. She got under the covers and snuggled right up to my back with both arms around me. She kissed me on the neck and said, “I am going to miss you.”
“But I wasn’t here last year,” I offered as I kissed her hand.
“Yes and I missed you then too. Do you think I could come and stay with you once in a while? If you are in a mixed apartment no one would be interested and I am your favorite sister.”
“Of course you can but let’s leave it a week or so to till things settle down. I would love to have you come stay with me and meet my new friends.”
“Good,” she said, “there is a reason why you are my favorite brother.”
“I’m your only brother.”
“Don’t split hairs,” she said. “Goodnight.” Then she kissed my neck again and I kissed her hand again. Then she rested her head against my back. I could feel her firm little tits massaging my back as she was breathing. This stirred a little erection in my pants but I was never going to tell her. I love having sisters.
Sunday September 8th
In the morning I woke to someone climbing on my bed from the bottom. Before I could react Dawn was on top of me, I was on my side, I she was holding me in position while kissing my cheek, ears and neck.
“How is my handsome little brother today?” she asked but she kept on kissing me.
“You are so gorgeous I could eat you.”
She had already cleaned her teeth fortunately and the cascade of her breath and her hair all over my head was fabulous. “You are going to so miss me when you are gone,” she said before she stuck her tongue into my ear.
This was too much to be going on at this time in the morning. I had solar flares going off in my head and I couldn’t move with her on top of me. But after a few moments the movement stopped and Dawn sat up to sit astride of my hips. I looked up to see my mother looking down on us from the doorway behind Dawn, wearing a full bath robe down to her ankles.
“Don’t you think you are both a little old for this kind of play?” she said.
“But I am just showing my little brother how much we love him Mom,” said Dawn.
“But you are a married woman and he is a 19 year old man. You can’t continue this kind of thing.”
“But he loves his sisters Mom and we love him back. I don’t hear him complaining.”
“Dawn you are practically exposing yourself all over him and I am not surprised he is not complaining.” I looked up and I could see one of Dawn’s nipples under her nightdress and she caught me looking so she pulled her robe open just a little more before closing it so I couldn’t see any more. Now I had an erection and I still had Dawns legs astride my hips. There was only a thin sheet between my hips and her panties.
“Dawn this is not appropriate behavior for a sister with her brother. I will talk to you about it in private but please leave him alone until you are both appropriately dressed,” and without waiting for Dawn to move my Mom turned and left the room. Dawn saw that she had gone then called out to her, “sorry Mom.” Then she bent over me again and gave me a long kiss on the ear and put her tongue in my ear again. Then she got off me and stood up beside my bed in front of my boggling eyes and open mouth to pulled open her robe. I could clearly see the shape of her breasts I could see her big brown nipples and every detail of the lace on her panties. Then she closed her robe, gave me a great beaming smile and strode out of the room.
My penis was bursting with the pressure. ‘Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck” my brain shouted at me. My sister has done it to me twice in two days and she is enjoying it. So am I for that matter. I closed my eyes but all I could see was Dawn’s tits bouncing in front of me and my erection would not go down.
There was a knock on the door.
“Leslie we need to talk,” said my Dad from outside the door. “Can I come in while it’s quiet around here?” That made my erection go down.
“I need to talk to you about money,” he said. He sat at the desk with an envelope in his hand. “I have here a debit card for you against an account at my bank. It is for the allowance we discussed. As I am paying so I get to see the monthly bill, so I do not want to see any concert tickets, alcohol or other junk on it. This is for your education and expenses only. You have worked the summer so you can spend your money on whatever you like. If you need more money get a job.”
“Thanks Dad I really appreciate it.” I said.
“I expect only A’s and B’s on any test result to continue this level of support,” he said. “I suspect that you are smart enough that A’s and B’s will not be a problem for you but I have set my expectation.” Then he continued on a different subject. “So why don’t you want me and your mother to go with you to the college?”
“Independence Dad, just independence,” I lied but tried to make it convincing. “I didn’t meet the other people’s parents so why should they meet mine.”
“So what is the apartment like and what are the other people like that you are staying with?” he asked. I told him that the apartment was clean and tidy and the other guys were just nerds like me. I told him there names were Angelo, Carl and MJ, and I didn’t know what MJ stood for.
He told me how proud he was of me and how he would help any way he could then he told me to consider all of my actions carefully and not screw up, then he asked me what I was feeling.
“Du,” I couldn’t say anything. “How am I feeling?”
He nodded at me.
“I feel like I want to get started,” I said. “I am at the beginning of something I know will be pretty good, but it hasn’t started yet so I want to get there.”
“You’re not worried?”
“No I think everything is under control.”
“That’s good, that’s good,” he said. “Good way to feel. And remember we want you to bring your friends home to meet us. Girlfriends, boyfriends! Don’t stay away. We want to be part of your life always. OK?”
“I get it Dad I won’t stay away, especially if I need money.”
“No that won’t work,” he said. “I am broke you know, four kids through university is expensive.”
“Just go sell some more houses,” I said. “You are good at that.”
“I know,” he said. “Look before you go today, please please make a fuss of you mother. She loves you so much you will never know till you have kids of your own. You know she is quiet so it’s your job to make a fuss of her.”
“OK Dad I will,” I said.
I got showered and dressed and went down for breakfast. Mom was pottering around the kitchen without any particular purpose so she was glad to start breakfast, then Mark and Dawn came down to join us. I gave my Mom hugs and kisses in the kitchen while she was cooking to make her feel better. Nothing interesting happened during breakfast and Dawn was quite because Mark was around so I went outside to see Barbara and Fiona who were catching some sun by the pool.
They were both wearing bikinis this morning and were both looking really good in them, so I complemented them. They were not interested. They requested I go to college and bring back some nice young men for them to meet. I said I would try. You never know, it might happen. So I headed for my room to assemble the rest of the things I needed to take with me.
2 laptops, Ipad, Ipod, Iphone, chargers, alarm, bedside table, folding chair, 2 suitcases of clothes (male), reference books, guitar, blow-up mattress, pump for blow-up mattress, bedclothes, toilet rolls, box of cans and dried food, bag of shampoo and toiletries, Tylenol and allergy/cold tablets. I think that must be it. Anything else, well they have stores in New Jersey too.
Dad had ordered the bed and some other stuff from a store he knows and it would be delivered between 9 and 12 tomorrow morning. So I packed the car. By the time the car was packed it was nearly 2pm, bang on schedule. I went inside to get my last box of stuff and they were all waiting for me in the family room.
Dawn was the first to come over to me. She was wearing jeans, heel and a low cut tank top, looking stunning as usual. She placed her tits on top of my chest and gave me a huge hug nearly pulling me out of my shoes, then she kissed me on the cheek and told me she loved me. Barbara was next. She already had tears running down her cheeks.
“I’m only going down the road to college,” I said.
She was wearing a t shirt over her bikini and no shoes so she was a little smaller than me. She put her arms around me and reached up to kiss me on my cheek. I bent down and kissed her in return.
Fiona gave me a quick hug and said she would see me in a few days.
Mark just shook my hand and said good luck.
Mom was blubbering so she hugged me tight and I hugged her back. She said “I love you more than all the gold in Ft Knox and more than all the stars in the sky, and that will never end.” She used to say that when she put us to be when we were kids. Now I let go a couple of tears.
”OK let’s get him out of here before he changes his mind,” said my Dad. He picked up my last box, put his arm around me and we headed through the garage to the car. Dad put the last box away and checked around the car. I went over to Mom and gave her another hug and kiss.
”You don’t have to worry about me you know,” I said. “I am going to be just fine and I will call every day till you feel OK, OK?”
“I’m fine,” she said. “You don’t have to call every day. You are not going far and you will be home often.”
Then dad gave me a quick hug and I got in the car and drove away, beeping my horn as I went. I got over the hill, out of the gate and a hundred yards down the road before I had to pull over. I was crying my eyes out. What am I doing? I am a 19 year old man going down the road a couple of hours to college, I shouldn’t be crying. I took a couple of minutes to pull myself together then I continued.
I put on some Heavy D and Redman music and headed for college.
Starting College my way. Chapter 2. Let’s get this party started
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Chapter 2. Let’s get this party started.
Sunday September 8th continued.
I got to the apartment before 5 pm, let myself in and started carrying my stuff upstairs. Carla was at home but Angie and MJ were out. Carla helped me with a box or two but I moved most of the stuff myself. It wasn’t difficult. The most awkward stuff was the suitcases. I proceeded to place all my stuff in what seemed like reasonable locations then I put all of my male clothes away in closets. While I was doing this MJ and Angie came back and stood in the doorway watching.
“Welcome to our humble abode Leslie,” She said.
“Thank you,” I said. “I think I am going to really enjoy it here.”
“You don’t seem to have much stuff,” said MJ. “Where are you going to sleep? You can’t sleep with me because you haven’t bought me dinner yet. Angie’s got lots of room in her bed but she snores.”
“I do not,” said Angie, pretending to punch MJ on the shoulder. Angie and MJ were leaning against opposite sides of the doorway, looking like they had no intention of helping.
“So just to keep you informed,” said MJ. “It’s not too late for dinner and there are a couple of nice restaurants just down the street.”
As I was putting things away on shelves I pointed to the grey plastic bag in the corner. They looked at it and looked back at me.
“Looks like someone’s been shopping at Wal-Mart,” said MJ.
“That is my blow up bed,” I told them. “And next to it is the blower-upper electric pump. So I don’t need your hospitality even though it sounds very inviting. I am getting a queen sized bed delivered in the morning”
“Queen sized very nice,” said MJ. “We could probable all fit in there.”
“But then you would all have to buy me dinner,” I returned.
Then Angie took two steps across the room and reached for my red suitcase. “I could help hang up some of your stuff,” she said trying to lift up the case but I took it away from her. “I thought I might be able to help if you needed stuff washing,” she said.
“Thanks but no thanks. I will get to that later. I won’t have anything to do if you do it for me will I.”
“Well if you are struggling to find things to do you could probably make some dinner while we do some important research on the TV,” chirped MJ.
“That’s OK,” I said. “I have an adequate sufficiency of tasks at hand. I need no more or no less than I have to keep me happy.”
“OK then suit yourself. We will go and get some mac and cheese for supper.”
“It’s not mac and cheese MJ, I thought you liked my manicotti,” said Angie as they withdrew towards the kitchen.
“Oh I love your manicotti,” said MJ to Angie, then MJ poked her head around my door and said, “It’s just fancy mac and cheese you know and we made some extra for you if you want.”
I worked another 15 minutes getting my room straight then Angie came to my door and told me that there was still some manicotti left and it was still warm so I went into the kitchen to join them.
I got into the kitchen and they had set a place for me and were waiting for me to join them with a nice piece of piping hot manicotti. “There is salad in the bowl and we have some nice light dressings,” said Carla. “We normally take turns cooking.”
They had finished eating but were intent on watching me, but I didn’t care. I was hungry.
“What kind of food do you like to cook Leslie?” said Carla.
“My mom does most of the cooking but I guess I will have to learn. One thing my Mom did teach me is seafood marinara with linguini. Always one of my favorites.”
“What else?” said MJ.
“I can’t think of anything right now,” I said. “I have 3 older sisters so if my Mom didn’t have time to cook and my Dad was busy then any of them might cook.”
“But didn’t your Mom make a point of showing you how to cook like she did your sisters?
“I guess I was just never interested. My Dad showed me a couple of things. Microwave 101, Hamburger Helper 102 and eggs and bacon for breakfast.”
“I guess that makes you a daddy’s girl then Leslie?” said MJ. I thought to myself why is MJ being so bitchy? So I don’t cook. So what’s the problem?
“This is getting us nowhere.“ said Carla.” Let’s get on to every girls favorite subject, boyfriends. What boyfriends do you have right now Angie?
“Well you know Darren from home. He took me out a few times during the summer but it wasn’t like it was the year before. I also when out with Dale Shearer. He was in the same class as my sister June. He is a really nice guy. We had a nice couple of evenings together and last week he took me to dinner the night before I came back here. He is really nice. He kissed me outside our house and it seemed like we kissed for an hour without taking a breath, I was dizzy for ages afterwards, but he is a few years older than me and looking to find a wife. I am not interested in that yet.” She took a breath then continued.
“There is still Danny McLean from last year. He spent the summer in Europe but he texted me yesterday said he wanted to get back together.”
“OK that’s 3 boyfriends. That’s enough for anyone,” said Carla. “What about you Leslie do you have any boyfriends?”
“What me boyfriends of course not. I don’t even have a girlfriend right now.”
“See I told you,” said MJ.
“That doesn’t prove anything’” said Carla.
I was sure there was something I was missing. Are they trying to test me?
“Listen girls, we are going to have a nice evening in front of the TV so everyone go and put a nice nightie on and we will watch a girly movie together,” said Angie. “You too Leslie!”
I put my knife and fork down. “What?” I said.
“Go and get yourself a nice girly nightie out of that red suitcase of yours and come sit with us on the couch to watch a nice chick flick together.”
“We could watch legally Blonde 5 — Bleached and Belligerent,” said MJ.
“Stop it MJ,” said Carla. “What’s wrong with wearing a nice nightgown and sitting with your girlfriends to watch a chick flick Leslie?”
Now I realized what was happening. Was there something wrong with being a boy? I didn’t understand. They had seen my girl’s clothes in the red suitcase. Do they think I am a girl?
“Am I in trouble?” I said.
“We don’t know,” said MJ. “You tell us. Is there a problem with you wearing a nightie and sitting on the sofa to watch a chick flick with the other girls?”
“I think there may be a problem when you say ‘other girls’ MJ,” I said trying to resist the urge to burst out crying or run for the door.
“And why do you have a problem with being one of the other girls Leslie?”
“Because I am a boy?”
“At last,” said MJ.
“But you can’t be,” said Carla. “You are in a girl’s only residence and you have a suitcase full of girl’s clothes.”
“What do you mean girls only residence? I just picked it out of the newspaper that the college sent.” Angie left the kitchen and went to her room like she was on a mission.
“But what about the suitcase full of girl’s clothes,” said Carla? “What about them?’
“So I like girl’s clothes. Don’t you?”
“Yes but we are girls!” said Carla.
“I don’t like girl’s clothes,” said MJ. “You can have some of mine.”
Angie came back into the kitchen and laid out the school newspaper with all of the residences in. She showed me. “Here!” she pointed. “Here is the ad for our apartment.”
“OK,” I said.
“See this,” Angie said pointing to the large text at the top of the page. “What does it say?”
“Girls only residences,” I said. “I’m sorry I’m sorry OK. I didn’t see that bit.”
“Oh brilliant,” said Carla. “The biggest boldest text on the page and the mathematician/ computer science wiz over here can’t see it.”
“Look it gets worse,” said Angie. “This morning the dean’s office called and asked about you Leslie. They asked because they thought you were a boy and saw your name on our residence registration form for a girl’s residence. They asked us to confirm that you were a girl, so we went into your room and opened up your suitcase where we found nothing but girl’s clothes and girl’s stuff so I told the dean’s office you were definitely a girl. They said they would change all of the paperwork to correct the mistake.”
“But they will have to change it back again,” I said.
“But she also said,” continued Angie. “That all of the boys residences had been filled up and the nearest place is miles and miles away.”
“Oh shit,” I said out loud. “What the hell am I going to do now?”
“Well boys can’t stay in this apartment,” said Angie.
“But if the dean’s office thinks she is a girl then we don’t have a problem.” MJ continued.
“I’m not having a boy wandering around my apartment while I am asleep,” said Carla.
“But someone wondering around the apartment in a nightie wouldn’t worry you so much would it Carla?” asked MJ.
“What do you mean MJ,” asked Carla.
“If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck and maybe wears some duck clothing?” said MJ.
“What on earth made you think of that MJ,” asked Carla.
“My favorite song,” she said. Then MJ picked up the kitchen tower and holding it around her hips like a skirt while dancing and singing the old Killers song.
“Somebody told me that you had a boyfriend that looked like a girlfriend I had in February of last year.”
I had my head in my hands and all I could think of was Fuck what do I do now?
“But she’s a boy MJ,” said Angie.
“Are you sure,” said MJ. “She looked like a girl to you earlier and we all agreed to let her move in here when we thought she was a girl.”
“But she’s flat chested and wears those stupid baggy clothes,” said Carla.
“Like me you mean,” said MJ.
“No not like you MJ, you are obviously a.” Carla didn’t finish her sentence.
“Would dyke be an appropriate work Carla,” said MJ.
“That’s not what I meant MJ,” said Carla. “She is a boy!”
“She is not a convincing boy Carla,” said MJ. “I don’t like boys but she looks kissable to me. But I do know that she would look even better with a bra and a little eye shadow.”
All my plans for the last few weeks were turning upside down. I couldn’t wear girl’s clothes and go to college as a girl, could I?
Angie had moved to the seat next to me and had placed a hand on my shoulder. Right now I could do with a little support from one of my sisters and if Angie offered I was going to cry on her shoulder for sure. Tears were silently running down my cheeks right now.
Angie whispered quietly in my ear. “Why don’t you show me those nice clothes you have in your red suitcase?”
Angie was offering me a solution that while it had some advantages could easily make me throw up at any moment. Was I now going to show a girl the nice girl’s clothes I wear when there was no one looking. What if she asks what I do when I am wearing them? Part of it is sexual gratification. I would have to hide that part and smile at everybody. ‘Hey it’s me, just an ordinary girl, try to ignore my penis. ’
“Has anyone ever seen you wearing girl’s clothes Leslie,” she asked.
“No, not since my sisters used to dress me up when I was little.”
Angie now had her other hand resting on my wrist. “You have to make a decision quickly because tomorrow morning you are going to commit your future for the next year. I think there are 3 people in this room who would help you if you want to stay here as a girl.” MJ and Carla were looking at us without saying anything, but there eyebrows were raised in what I thought might be sympathy.
“And I can still take you to some of those clubs I was telling you about,” said MJ. “They would be even more interested now.”
“MJ you are not being helpful,” said Carla.
“No,” said MJ. “But I am enjoying myself.”
“What did your sisters used to do to you when they dressed you up as a girl Leslie?” asked Angie.
“We used to play games and be nice to each other. I was one of them when I wore dresses and stuff,” I said.
“Did you enjoy wearing dresses with your sisters?”
“Yes,” I nodded my head. “I really enjoyed playing games with my sisters we used to play house and play with their dolls and stuff. When I wore my boy’s clothes they didn’t want to play with me. I usually played on my own or I had to go out and find someone else to play with.”
Angie looked at Carla and MJ and they made some kind of agreement without speaking. Then Angie lifted up my chin and looked into my eyes.
“OK this is how it’s going to be,” Angie said. “If you want to go find yourself somewhere else to stay we can let you stay tonight but tomorrow morning you will have to move out and get yourself somewhere else to live, or,” She looked up at the other two girls and they nodded in agreement. “You could go put on a nice nightie and come join us on the sofa for a nice girl’s movie night.”
“And you will have to promise to leave the toilet seat down at all times,” said Carla.
Then Angie pulled me to her. From my seat across the table I could only rest my head on her shoulder but it was nice. I pulled myself together and stood in front of them. “I am going to my room to do some thinking for a while.” I said.
“We will keep a seat warm on the sofa,” said Carla.
“How could I turn that invitation down?” I asked. I walked towards my room.
“Hey Leslie,” said MJ. “If you are going to be a girl for the next year can I use some of your boy’s clothes. Maybe we could trade.”
“We can negotiate,” I said.
When I got back to my room I knew that I had to talk to Fiona. She was the only other person in the world that I could speak to about this. So I called her.
“So you remember when we were kids you used to dress me in girl’s clothes.”
“Yeh.”
“Well do you remember how I used to like wearing girl’s clothes?”
“Yeh.”
“Well I still do.”
“Yeh.”
“Well are you angry with me?”
“No, why would I be angry with you?”
“Because I like to wear girl’s clothes.”
“But I like to wear girl’s clothes too.”
“But you’re a girl.”
“Leslie I love you, and I have known that you have been wearing our clothes for years. Is that all you are worried about?”
“You knew?”
“Of course we knew. We just didn’t want to embarrass you. We love you too much.”
“Didn’t you think I might be gay or something?”
“What do you think Dawn has been doing to you these last few years?”
“What?”
“Checking to find out if you are gay.”
“So what did you find out?”
“We don’t think you’re gay.”
“But I really like to wear girl’s clothes.”
“And we feel guilty about that. We used to dress you in girl’s clothes and play dolls and stuff with you. Sometime we wouldn’t let you wear boy’s clothes for days at a time while Mom and Dad were out anyway. At first Mom and Dad would let us do it but after a while they told us to stop, but that didn’t stop us altogether, but they thought you would be confused.”
“I am confused. Sometimes I think about what it would have been like if I was a girl,” I said.
“And sometimes we believe that we did that to you, but we have also had discussions with doctors and other specialists about you,” said Fiona.
“What did they say?”
“They said that if you didn’t like it then you would have told us. They said that some boys just like to wear girl’s clothes, and there is not a dammed thing you or anyone else can do about it.”
“So what did you do about it?”
“We didn’t do a dammed thing. Well. That is not exactly true. We didn’t tell Mom and Dad but we put a collection of girl’s clothes and shoes and stuff in the spare room and left it there hoping that if you had access to those you wouldn’t need to touch our stuff. Did you?”
“Did I what?”
“Did you keep on going into our stuff once we let the collection of clothes for you in the spare room?”
“I did wear the clothes in the spare room. I tried to stay out of your stuff as much as possible when I could, but it was always tempting.”
“We could tell, you know. Once Barbara first suspected that you had been in her clothes she talked to Mom but Mom thought it was me. So they talked to me and I said it wasn’t me either, so Barbara and Dawn used to place things in certain ways in their draws and stuff and sometimes you would move things.”
“Booby trapped.”
“You could say that but we never wanted to hurt you with it. We just wanted out things to stay our things, but we never stopped you.”
“Well right now I have bigger problems.”
“Please carry on,” she said. “I am all ears.”
I told her about the mistake with the girl’s residence and the girls believing I was a girl.
“I told you so,” she said.
Then I told her about the phone call from the dean’s office, that Angie had told the dean’s office that I am definitely a girl because of the suitcase and that all of the boy’s rooms were taken for miles and miles.
“You are so screwed,” she said. “And you can’t stay with me because I’m in a girl’s residence too. So what are you going to do?”
“Well,” I said trying to obtain the maximum dramatic effect. “I am going to put on a nice new nightie, panties and matching robe, put on a little eye shadow and lipstick and go sit on the couch.”
“You’re crazy,” Fiona said. “They will kick your ass.
“No they won’t. It was their idea. They thought I was a girl the first time we met anyway. They all accepted that I must be a girl if I came and presented myself for a girl’s only residence. They just I thought I dressed badly. I think MJ thought I was a tomboy or a lesbian.”
“Are you going to go to school as a girl too?”
“Yes of course. That is the main reason I am here anyway. There is no point otherwise.”
“So what if Mom and Dad find out.”
“I think we must be able to hide it for a while till I figure out what to do, but I have very few options and I think this is the best one right now.”
“OK,” said Fiona. “What’s your schedule tomorrow?”
“I have to stay in for the delivery guys with the bed till 12 then I have meet and greets and orientations all afternoon and evening. Why?”
“I am coming over first thing. See you in the morning sister.” She hung up.
I felt a lot better now I knew my sister Fiona was on my side and even in my corner so to speak. I hate sports analogies but that one is one of the better ones. I had to consider what to wear because I was now going to go sit with the girls on the sofa and I had to select the most feminine things I could think of. I selected a pair of nude colored control panties first to hide my male bits, then the matching panties to my nightie over the top. I selected a loose fitting bra and placed my chicken fillets inside, put my nightie and robe on and I was dressed.
It didn’t feel at all sexy but it is what it is. Comfortable. I brushed my hair so to lift it up a little on top of my head. I put on a little eye shadow, blush and lipstick, picked up a bottle of nail polish and an emery board and strolled into the lounge.
“OK girls what movie are we watching? I hope you don’t mind me doing my nails?”
I only wished I would have thought of some high heeled slippers.
Starting College my way. Chapter 3. Into the great wide open
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A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Chapter 3. Into the great wide open. Monday morning September 9th.
We had a delicious night on the sofa last night and they girls were really nice to me. I told them all about my sisters and they told me about their families. I felt really lucky compared to MJ and Angie.
Carla had a similar family upbringing to me in that she had a Mom and Dad and a younger sister who did all of the normal family stuff. They owned a restaurant in Allentown.
Angie was raised by her mostly single mother near Atlantic City where her mother worked the tables, but at times her mother had boyfriends and at one time a step-father but none of them stuck around. Angie’s mother was very protective, and Angie’s grandmother helped out as much as she could, but it was always a struggle one way or another, mainly for money.
Although Angie had qualified and been accepted from high school, she had worked more than a full year in the casinos to save up for school before going to college. Angie was a beautiful girl and as I was learning beautiful girls often find their way in life a little easier than the rest of us, but she was going to be working part time during the school to pay the bills.
MJ had been in the juvenile system for most of her childhood. She didn’t know her father and she didn’t meet her mother till she turned 18 and doesn’t see her mother now. She got close to some nasty stuff growing up but she say that she was never hurt because she was a good screamer.
She says she was taught from an early age that if she doesn’t like something, somebody touching her for instance, then she should scream. She said it seemed to work for her. She said she hated the system, but it had helped with getting her into college and paying some of the bills.
It seems that Angie being a freshman didn’t know many people here. Carla had some friends and she would introduce me to some of them, but MJ’s friends were a totally different crowd. MJ would hang out with Carla sometimes but other times she went off to find some of her own kind she says. She didn’t say what kind of friends they were but she said I could meet them.
We mostly finished off two bottles of wine between us while we were watching ‘Crazy Stupid Love’ which they said was a chick flick, but I didn’t understand that because large amount of the movie is Ryan Gosling picking up women, but they said it’s all about when he picks up Emma Stone over his head and then they spend the rest of the night talking.
That is why it’s so romantic and that’s what makes it a chick flick. I said why don’t you just fast forward the Ryan Gosling pick up bits but they said no girl in her right mind would ever fast forward Ryan Gosling. Then I understood. Those abbs.
During the night I had a couple of stupid dreams. The first one I was with a group of young girls all kissing and hugging each other while dressed in frilly nightgowns, then the one I was kissing turned into my Dad in a frilly nightgown. I screamed and woke myself up.
The second dream was even sillier but more shocking to me. I was standing on the college presentation stage waiting to receive my degree when the dean shouted across for everyone to hear ‘Miss Haigt before you come over here can you put your penis away.’ Everyone was laughing. It was horrible.
The rest of my night was good, at least my blow-up bed did not go down. I woke in the morning dreaming of Fiona cuddling me like she had the day before, at least I thought it was Fiona. I could feel some wonderfully nice big firm tits in the middle of my back. Then I realized I was awake and it couldn’t be Fiona or anyone else in the apartment it had to be.
“CARLA!” I shouted. I scooted quickly across the bed away from her and found myself dumped on the floor still wearing my nightie, bra and panties.
Fiona, MJ and Angie were laughing at the foot of the bed. MJ said, “We drew straws for who would try it first.”
“I won,” said Carla then she turned to Fiona. “You were right. She didn’t have a clue I was there, till I started rubbing my hand on her stomach.” Carla was laying on my bed in a short nightgown and panties almost exposing herself. When I looked at her she looked back but didn’t move. Her tits were impressive almost spilling out the side of her nightgown.
“What’s going on?” I asked, trying to cover up and compose myself.
“I couldn’t help it,” said Fiona. “I told the girls that if I crept real carefully into your bed and snuggled up to you, you wouldn’t wake up. I have been doing it for years”
“Yeh but sometimes I know you are doing it but I never complain. Mom used to do it. Once in a while Dawn would do it but not for a long time. Barbara never has.”
“Oh you don’t know the whole story,” said Fiona. “I have tried to get into your bed a couple of times and found Barbara in there with you. I bet you couldn’t tell the difference when we are behind you because she is so similar in size and shape to me. Thing is she only stays for a while then goes back to her own bed.”
“I didn’t know that,” I said.
“Didn’t your Mom and Dad think it strange and stop you from doing it?” said MJ.
“I don’t think so,” said Fiona. “Leslie and I have been like inseparable since I can remember. I used to climb into his crib when he was tiny and Mom had to lift me out when I was sleeping, so she said. After they thought he was big enough they just left us alone.”
“You used to climb into HER crib when SHE was younger,” said MJ.
“Sorry,” said Fiona. “It’s going to take me a little while.”
“So it’s 8 o’clock young miss and we need breakfast,” said MJ looking at me but pointing to her bare wrist.
“What, you want me to cook?”
‘No Leslie we are all going out for breakfast.” They said together.
“Leslie, go take a shower and put some underwear on,” said Fiona. “Then come into the kitchen because we are going to do your hair and make-up.”
So I got myself some underwear from my red suitcase and went to the bathroom. Then I realized that one thing I did not have was a bath towel. I shouted down the hall to them and Angie said just use whatever is there.
They all smelled so nice, but I guess I would smell like that in a few minutes. I got myself a shower, dried off, towel dried my hair and put on some new panties.
I do enjoy the sensuous touch of nice girl’s panties. They are so much cleaner and comfier than thick cotton boy’s undies. I put on a bra, chicken fillets and a half slip. I didn’t have a camisole top but that was one of a long list of things I would need to buy.
I put on some of the girl’s deodorant that was abundant in the bathroom and a little bit of talcum powder down the back of my panties, put on my frilly robe and I was headed for the kitchen where Angie grabbed me by the arm and sat me down where she wanted me to sit at the end of the table while MJ arranged a coffee for me.
“My!” said Angie, ‘We have a blank page to work with today girls,”.
“I don’t need much make-up,” I said. “I am not looking for a boyfriend.”
“But you do not want to look in between like you did yesterday,” said Angie. “You looked kind of like a girl when we first met you but we were expecting a girl. If we were expecting a boy we would probably have accepted you were a boy. The people you meet today will need to know from the first time they look at you that you are definitely a girl. You have to make a statement with how you look and what you wear.”
“Kind of how I do with my clothes,” said MJ. MJs t shirt today said - LOOK AT MY TITS AGAIN AND I WILL STAMP ON YOUR FOOT!
“I’m sorry MJ if you don’t want to hear it but you are a very pretty woman regardless of what you are wearing,” said Carla. “Leslie here needs just a little work to make it totally convincing.”
I didn’t get any say in the matter so they decided to give me a full make-over, starting with foundation all over, blusher, mascara, everything. There were 3 sets of hands working on me so it seemed to go quickly till they decided that one side was different to the other so they had to make some changes but it was still a lot quicker than I would have done.
Then Fiona decided to do my hair because hers was similar. She brushed and teased it added some spray stuff then brushed it some more then they looked at me. “You really need a girl’s haircut as your hair really has no shape at all right now, but I think this will do for now.”
“Think we are done,” they agreed.
“Can I see,” I asked but they had no mirrors here so they sent me to the bathroom.
I was quite astonished. ‘I’m a girl.’ I said to myself. I looked good, attractive. I wanted a piece of me of me looking like that. I got a sudden growing in my groin and had to make and adjustment in my panties. I guess I was going to need those control panties from last night, but they were the only pair I had. More shopping required.
“Leslie, put on that nice summer dress from the top of your suitcase,” Angie shouted from the kitchen. “It will look good with your coloring.”
I was still looking at myself in the mirror. The make-up had completely changed my appearance and highlighted my features. I had a resemblance to Fiona in that I had a similar small nose, lips and chin, but my eyebrows were lower than hers, my eyes seemed wider apart than before and my jaw line was a little wider and more pointed. I was one hot babe and I had a growing pressure in my panties.
I grabbed my control panties and went to the corner of the room to put them on under my slip but even that felt arousing. I had to think of something to distract me so I thought of the hairs on my dad’s chest growing up and out of the top of his t shirt.
That did the trick with my penis, but the whole situation had become a huge turn-on. Now I had to put on a dress. I decided to just put the dress on and walk out of the bedroom without looking. I stepped into then pulled the dress up around me.
I tried to ignore the silky sensation as the dress slid against my skin. The lining I think was nylon and the outer layer was chiffon with yellow and orange as the principle colors. It was sleeveless with ruffles around the semi plunging neck line, and hem line which was about 4 inches above my knee, but as I tried to fasten the side zip it started to get stuck as the dress was just a little tight around the waist. Fiona had come into the room to see what I was doing. From her position behind me she put her hands either side of my waist.
“I guess your shape is not quite that of a normal girl,” she said. “We will have to get you some serious foundation garments to address that little area!” But when she made me breathe in and lift my chest up we were able to fasten the zipper all the way.
She maneuvered me in front of the full length mirror and what I saw was a version of me, in a dress and full make-up with my sister standing next to me. It was a little disorienting. I shouldn’t be in this picture but there I was. I am not sure who is the prettier.
My sister turned me around and hugged me. I was still fighting the arousal and this was the first time anyone had ever hugged me while I had been dressed as a girl since I was little. My lower parts were testing the resilience of my control panties but fortunately they held, in spite of the strange sensation of two sets of tits resting on each other.
“Shoes,” said Fiona.
“Shoes,” I replied. I looked in my red suitcase for some shoes but nothing magically appeared other than a pair of 6” strappy hooker shoes with clear soles that I attempted to hide, and a pair of black round toed ballerina flats that used to belong to one of my sisters.
“I think they were mine,” said Fiona.
“I don’t have much opportunity to buy shoes,” I said.
“More shopping required this afternoon. I hope you have a good bank balance?” said Fiona.
“I am sure it’s not going to be big enough,” I added.
“Come on Leslie let’s go for breakfast.”
With my chiffon dress and my ballerina flats on I headed into the kitchen feeling wonderfully feminine but with a slight fullness and just a little wetness between my legs.
“Well look at you, doesn’t she look sweet girl’s” said Carla.
“Hey hotcakes,” said MJ. “Remember that dinner I offered you. I am free all this week!”
“Leave her alone MJ she’s not your type,” said Carla.
“Well I just want the opportunity to discuss that with her,” said MJ.
Carla and Angie were either side of me holding my arms up and taking a close look. Carla held one arm up over my head and made me twirl around.
“Nice but you don’t have one bit of jewelry,” said Angie. Then she strode quickly into her bedroom and returned with some baubles for my wrists.
“This will do for now.”
“We will get her ears pierced this afternoon while we are out shopping,” said Fiona. ‘We might have to do all of our jewelry shopping in Ardene or Le Chateau but we won’t come back without a good supply.”
“While you are out why don’t you get her a ring for her nose like the rest of you have,” said MJ.
“Why are you so resistant to women looking their best MJ,” said Carla. “It makes us feel good.”
“I want someone to appreciate me for my personality and intellect,” said MJ. “Not because I look like a teen beach model.”
“You have to get them a little bit interested in you first before they get to know about your fabulous personality and intellect,” said Carla. “If you had an intellect that is!”
“You know I can get you back for comments like that Carla when you are not looking,” said MJ. “I might bend all of the under wires in all of your bras.”
“That’s enough girl’s,” said Angie. “Let’s go have breakfast.”
“What about my bed?” I said.
“We are only going down the road,” said Carla. “We can see down the road from the restaurant.”
The door opened and we started down the stairs, but I started to feel queasy. I looked down and I could see my feet in Fiona’s shoes. My knees pushing a frilly dress out in front of me. Angie’s baubles bouncing around on my wrists and I was about to go out in the open dressed as a girl with my arms, shoulders and upper chest uncovered. I was about to panic. I got down the stairs then I reached for Fiona’s are and pulled her aside. She looked at me with questions in her eyes.
“What’s up,” she said.
I was having trouble putting my thoughts together logically. “I’ve never done this before,” I said. “What do I do?”
“What are you talking about Leslie,” she asked.
“The dress,” I said.
“It’s very pretty,” said Fiona. “What’s the problem?”
“I have never been outside in a dress.” I said.
“She’s panicking,” said Fiona to the girls.
MJ came over to me and took my hands and placed them in front of me like in a prayer.
“Listen,” she said, “I need you to answer these question. Look at me.”
“Who is the president?” she asked.
“Bush,” I said. “No, Obama.”
“OK,” she said. “Where do your parents live?’
“Reading Pennsylvania.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
“And what year was the first moon landing?”
“I don’t know,” I said getting exasperated.
“So do you want to kiss me right now or what?”
“No,” I said and pulled my hands away from her.
MJ Turned around and walked out of the conservatory towards the road.
“She is alright now,” said MJ back towards the rest of us.
Carla leapt after her and said, “What was that all about.”
“I was just getting her to think about something other than what she was thinking about,” she said. “I think she will be fine now. Can we go eat, I’m hungry?”
I didn’t understand what had happened, but I was OK. All of a sudden this all seemed, well–nice! I was wearing a dress and I was outside in the fresh air and I felt like a totally different person. I was not the normal boy I used to be only yesterday. I felt like a girl, all be it a nervous girl.
So we all walked towards the end of the road. MJ and Carla were in front with me surrounded by Fiona on one side and Angie on the other arm in arm with both of them, although we had to dodge a couple of big oak trees a couple of times. It felt refreshing in the cool late summer air.
It was really interesting to feel the wind blow my skirt around. I felt kind of exposed, especially as I was the only one in a dress. The others had jeans on, but they seemed to be like a security detail protecting me.
The restaurant was in a really old storefront where the windows came out into the street. Inside it was long and narrow with a counter all the way up one side like it had been store at one time and the owners never remodeled except to paint and put some pictures on the wall. There were some other people inside and they seemed to take no notice of us.
We got the only table in the window which was nice because we could see up the road where we expected to see the delivery truck arrive with my bed. We sat and started reading the menus.
I noticed that the only waitress I could see was strikingly attractive, quite tall and powerful looking. She was a substantial woman, not exactly pretty but had the most amazing shape. From the side she has quite big breasts that her black dress covered but a very flat stomach and slim waist with athletic thighs.
From behind she had beautifully shaped hips and a well-defined waist and her torso went out in a dramatic V to her wide shoulders. She had very strong facial features and beautiful eyes. There was no way she could be mistaken for a boy. She was looking right at me.
“Leslie,” Fiona spoke in my ear from behind me. “You are supposed to tell the lady what you would like drink.”
“Oh, coffee please,” I asked.
“Just coffee,” she said. “Or would you like an autographed picture as well?”
I blushed instantly realizing that I had been starring. “I’m sorry,” I said. “But you are strikingly attractive.”
“You are very pretty too, but I only serve coffee and breakfast here.” She smiled at me for more than a moment then we all ordered coffee and she turned back and returned to the counter.
Fiona was kicking me under the table. I turned to face her then realized that they were all surprised at me.
“Leslie,” said Carla slapping my hand. “You were hitting on the waitress.”
“I wasn’t, was I?”
“Where did that come from?” said Fiona. “Remember you are wearing a dress.”
“That could make things awkward couldn’t it?” I answered.
“I know a few people who wouldn’t have a problem with it,” said MJ. “I think she likes you Leslie.”
“And what would you do if she asked you out?” said Angie.
“I would probably pee my pants,” I said. ‘I have never touched a woman that beautiful.”
“What about me and your sisters Leslie?” said Fiona. “I thought we were the most beautiful things in your life.”
“You are my sisters,” I said. “I can’t look at you the way I do other women.”
“What about Dawn,” she said. “You have certainly been looking at her lately.”
“That’s because she has been shoving it down my throat.”
“But you haven’t been complaining.”
“And neither would any 19 year old who has never had a girlfriend.”
“You’ve never had a girlfriend?” asked Angie and Carla.
“This discussion is not appropriate in a public place,” I said as someone kicked me under the table and the waitress suddenly appeared behind me.
“So what will you ladies have?”
MJ ordered a bacon and egg muffin. Carla ordered a big breakfast. Fiona and Angie both ordered bacon, eggs and a pancake then I said, “I was thinking of the pancake breakfast.”
“That’s not good for you figure,” said the waitress as she placed her hand delicately on my bare shoulder. Her touch was electric. I was instantly turned on just as when Dawn had dangled her tits in front of me. She said, “Try the breakfast fruit bowl; it’s what I eat when I’m here.” She had bent down closer to me and I had turned my head towards her. I could taste coffee on her sweet breath and it was delicious.
“Er,--sound good to me,” I said.
“Good, I will prepare some especially for you,” she said as she gentle rubbed my shoulder. Then she turned around and went back to the counter.
MJ couldn’t wait to say something as the lady left. “She wants you, you scrawny little bitch. You have only been here 5 minutes and you have scored the best looking girl on the street.”
“I don’t believe it. She was either just being friendly or she was winding me up,” I said.
“You have only been a girl 5 minutes,” said Carla, “and you have turned into a lesbian already.” Angie was trying not to giggle.
Fiona had her head in her hands for a moment then she looked at me in astonishment. Then she turned to the others. “I don’t know what to tell you,” she said. “Young Leslie here would not say ‘boo to a goose’ when she was wearing pants, but now. I don’t know what to say.”
“There is nothing to say,” I said. “She is just a very friendly person. And anyway I am not in any position to do anything about it. How would I explain my, how should I put it, my orientation.”
“You don’t have to explain anything Leslie,” said MJ. “Just see how far you get before it comes up.”
“I think it would come up pretty quickly.” I said.
“Said the actress to the bishop,” said MJ.
MJ, Carla and me laughed, but I don’t think Fiona or Angie got the joke. Some people from other tables looked over but I don’t think we really bothered them.
Fiona changed the subject. “You do look a lot prettier than I expected Leslie.”
“Thanks Fiona,” I said and reached for her hand.
“I can’t believe that you have no hair whatsoever on your face,” said Angie. “I have more facial hair than you.”
“I cheat,” I said. “I got one of those home laser machines as soon as they came out a couple of years ago. The instructions say that it should not be used for men’s facial hair but I thought that as I was not really a man at the time I would try it. It works wonderfully. I use it every couple of weeks, which reminds me that is another item I didn’t bring from home.
“Cool, I will have to try it on my bikini line,” said MJ.
“I didn’t know you had a bikini line,” said Carla.
“Did you honestly think I was being serious Carla,” said MJ.
“Oooh I wonder what kind of hairy spiders den you have down there,” said Carla.
“I could show you,” said MJ. “But you would have to but me dinner first.”
“Dinner,” said the waitress. “You haven’t started your breakfast yet!”
She had come over with the food. Bacon and egg muffin for MJ. Big breakfast for Carla. Bacon, eggs and a pancake for Fiona and Angie and she reached around my left hand side to put my breakfast in front of me, then went back to the counter.
“You didn’t see that did you?” I asked MJ and Carla who were sitting opposite me.
“No, what?” they asked.
“As she was putting my food down with her left hand, her right hand was feeling my ribs under my right arm.”
“She wants you,” said MJ.
“She is winding you up like a top set to spin off the table Leslie,” said Angie.
“I agree with Leslie that she is just being friendly,” said Carla. “She is attractive but I don’t understand why someone looking that good is serving us breakfast on a Sunday morning in Mt. Laurel New Jersey.”
“Leave it alone,” said Fiona. “She is probably just being nice to everyone. I bet she is just a student like us trying to meet people.”
We continued to eat our breakfast and we were all complementary about our meals. My breakfast fruit bowl was delicious but I couldn’t help thinking how a couple of sausages would improve it. We were nearing the end of our meals when the nice server lady came over and pulled up a chair at our table and sat between Carla and Angie.
“The food here seems really good,” she said. “I have only been working here a couple of days and everyone complements the food.”
There was a round of grunts and mumbles agreeing with her.
“I am guessing you ladies are going to the college here?” she asked.
“Yes four of us are,” said Angie. “I am a freshman in engineering, Carla and MJ are in their second year while Leslie here is a freshman in mathematics.”
“Mathematics,” said the young lady who was still nameless. “I thought only guys took mathematics.”
“I was thinking she might be guy under that dress,” said MJ. “When we get back to the apartment I think I should check.”
“Don’t listen to MJ, she is jealous of Leslie’s good looks. I am the odd one out,” said Fiona. “I am just here to help my sister to orient herself in her new college. My name is Fiona. I am a sophomore at Philly School of Arts.”
“I am Rebecca March. I too am a student at Winston College but I am a returning student. I finished a bachelors in business a year ago but now I am coming back to do an MBA. So which arts do you do Fiona? Are you an artist?”
“I study music and play the cello, but in my spare time Leslie and I play guitar and sing.”
“Cool. What kind of stuff do you play? Are you good?” asked Rebecca.
“We play any type of modern song that we can do together,” I told her. “Rock, pop, country and a few alternative things thrown in.”
“We think we are good but we don’t have any recording contracts yet,” said Fiona. “We have played a couple of school recitals and one at my university but we have never been paid or anything.”
“Well,” said Rebecca. “If you are any good you can play here and earn a little bit of spending money. The owner is looking for a couple of acts to play here in the evenings to attract the students.”
I didn’t know how to answer that so I let Fiona handle it. “We can only say we can think about it,” she said. “Neither of us knows our schedules and other commitments yet. The other problem is that I have near an hours drive to my residence in Philly. I am only here today to get my little sister settled in.”
“No problem,” said Rebecca. “You think about it and let me know if you are interested.”
It was just then that a furniture van drove up our road and stopped outside our apartment. I asked Fiona to cover my bill, which was the only thing I could do because I was not carrying a purse and scooted on up to meet the van bringing the stuff that my Dad had ordered. I let them into the apartment and they started bringing the stuff up the stairs.
I realized while I was showing them where the stuff should go that this was the first ever time I had been in the company of men while I was in a dress, but they were very nice to me and the two younger ones tried to be in the same room as me as much as they could and get a good look at my legs, especially as I was walking up the stairs in front of them.
They brought a queen sized bed with a headboard, which they assembled for me, a computer chair, a reclining lounge chair for relaxing and a 5 draw dresser made from nice solid wood.
The obvious leader of the 3 men came to me as they were getting to leave. “I thought this furniture was for Leslie, but you can’t be Leslie because Leslie is a boy.”
“Oh, I am Fiona. Leslie had some things to attend to,” I said a little hesitantly, not knowing how he knew Leslie’s sex.
“I didn’t think it was you but now I see it,” he added. “We met last year at your college Christmas recital. My daughter is at the Philly school of arts too and that is how I know your Dad.”
‘This is getting tricky’ I thought to myself. I can see me getting caught out here.
“I am sorry but I have forgotten,” I improvised. “And who is your daughter again?”
“Marcy Day of course!”
“Oh now I remember,” I said. “And how is Marcy anyway?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing as I haven’t seen her for a few days since she went back to the school. I believe you two are close neighbors at the residence.”
“Well I have been over here a lot looking after Leslie. But when I see Marcy, maybe later on today, I will tell her I talked to you.”
We said our goodbyes and the furniture van rolled of down the road, but then it turned around in the street and came back this way just as Fiona and the others were walking back towards the apartment. I hoped he wouldn’t notice but I am sure he got a good look at Fiona as he drove by. All I could do was hope that he didn’t tell my Dad of our meeting, but there again he must have thought I was Fiona. I hope this doesn’t complicate things.
After the furniture guys left I packed away the blow-up bed, made up my new bed and was testing out my new lounge chair when the girls came in. MJ came over to me and handed me a business card. It was for Rebecca March with her cell number, email and everything. I just looked up at them in amazement.
“I only said jokingly that you wanted her phone number and she gave me this,” said MJ. “She said you could call her anytime.”
The other girls were close to giggling as MJ was talking.
“I want to know what you are going to do when you see her,” said Fiona.
“And I just want all the graphic details,” added MJ.
“I am not going to do anything with this of course,” I told them. “I will just keep it in case we need to know when the restaurant is open or something.”
“Or something what?” asked MJ.”
“We may need to know what the special is.”
“I bet you’re gonna be the special,” said MJ.
From that comment I learned that not everything MJ says is funny.
“Leslie it’s after 10am and we need to go shopping,” said Fiona. “We need to make a serious attempt to fully equip your wardrobe. What time is your first registration appointment?”
“2pm.”
“Then we don’t have time to go into Philly so we will be starting at the local Wal-Mart, Target and then head for Cherry Hill Mall.”
We had our list of things I needed so we were close to leaving when Fiona wanted me to run down a list of all the things a girl might need while we were out. Lipstick, make-up, tissues, mirror, maxipads, (no real girl leaves home without emergency supplies), money, credit cards, ID and Iphone. Fiona made me place them all on the bed.
“OK, so what are you going to carry them in?” asked Fiona.
I produced a mid-sized light brown leather bag out of the red suitcase.
“That looks like one of mine!” Fiona exclaimed.
“I don’t get out handbag shopping much,” I replied.
Fiona gave me a look of resigned acceptance.
“So let’s go into the washroom to fix up you make-up,” said Fiona.
Make-up, was one of the tasks I would have to learn fast, plus a whole host of other girly things. Bad make-up, Fiona explained, would be noticed by most ordinary girls and would be a source of ridicule and embarrassment. Time must be taken to get yourself looking good. Most women of my age had been practicing the art for maybe 10 years in some cases. Even most women who profess to not wearing make-up will probably use some and be skilled at hiding it.
Fiona thought that MJ probably used some foundation to smooth out the imperfections in her skin that everybody has, and probably a little mascara and eye shadow well blended. Fiona also commented that MJ could look really pretty if she wanted to. I thought so too.
With my make-up repaired and my clothing straightened out (a girl with my additional equipment always seems to need occasional adjusting in the lower pelvic area), I piled all of my stuff into the handbag and we were off to go shopping. The nearest Wal-Mart was not far, especially using the GPS. Didn’t seem to take more than 5 minutes to get there!
Today has been and continues to be a very special day for me. I have done many things that I have never done before and most of them I had hardly dreamed of a couple of days ago and I certainly hadn’t planned any of them, but I was getting accustomed to some things, but others were continuing to be difficult.
I was enjoying wearing a dress, and even though I had not worn a dress in public before, the only possible exception could be when my sisters dressed me up when I was small and took me to a couple of places, but back then I only a young child and was not aware of the implications.
Right now I feel like I belong in a dress. I love it. If I didn’t think people were watching I would be skipping through the Wal-Mart parking lot and feeling the fresh air and my skirt swirling around my legs. I feel feminine. I feel confident that others will think that I am feminine and maybe even a little pretty, and I think that some people will find me attractive as a girl, which is a big change to me because I always felt like either a dork or a nerd when I am a boy.
So, even though I am going to put myself up for display in front of whoever happens to be walking around and later in front of all of the people that I was going to spend the college year with, I felt OK, but I did feel like it could all come crashing down around me at any moment unless I stayed aware of my predicament and my surroundings.
One of the things I am nervous about is talking to boys. I don’t plan to be talking to boys but what if they try to talk to me? I don’t know how I feel about that other than apprehensive.
We went into Wal-Mart and headed for the women’s department. Nothing happened, we just started shopping. I was not expecting that anything would happen, but I was a little on edge. What if something did happen and they found??? I had to stop myself and just get on with it. The underwear department just had to come first.
Fiona insisted that I needed 34B molded cup underwire bras. She said to trust her and all would be revealed later. I couldn’t understand this because with my little chicken fillets I thought I could only just fill a 34A, but she made me buy 6 bras of various colors.
I could tell from that moment that my personal bank account wouldn’t last the day. 10 pairs of panties followed. Most matched the bras in some way. We got a waist nipper to help create a little waist/hip contrast and we also bought 4 pairs of light control panties, six pairs of tan tights and two pairs of black leggings.
Then we bought slips and camisoles before we went over to the dresses. I asked why we were not trying the underwear on and she said, “Just trust me. You are exactly the same size as me except for the difference at the waist that we will address with the shape wear. Later in the week I will bring you some of my stuff to wear but with undergarments you need your own supply.”
The dresses were a much nicer experience. I tried a few dresses of various types. I particularly likes the tear dresses which had flowing skirts which made the nerves in my thighs tingle, but in the interests of time I let Fiona pick out 3 floral print dresses cut about 4” above the knee that I could wear without tights while the weather was warm then with tights or leggings and a jacket as the weather gets colder and 2 other woolen business type dresses with higher necks and longer skirts.
We then got 2 skirts, 2 blouses and 2 spaghetti strap tank tops before moving to the denim section where I got a short denim jacket and then tried on some girl’s jeans.
The girl’s jeans seemed really odd to me. They seemed to be really low cut and would expose by stomach dangerously close to my pubic area. Fiona assured me they were much higher than they seemed and they looked OK. Better than expected she said which I thought was cool. I was allowed one pair for now as Fiona did not want me to rely on jeans too much.
So we headed for the tills with me pushing an overloaded shopping cart and Fiona carrying the longer clothing on hangers.
We escaped from Wal-Mart with about a quarter of my personal savings gone in one store. I knew I couldn’t go on like this so Fiona and I discussed ways that I could by things without using my personal funds. Shoes would be OK to put on the card Dad gave me but La Senza would not. All of my new girl’s stuff was carefully laid out in the trunk of my Honda and locked out of site.
Next we drove across the parking lot to DSW. I did not know what DSW was but Fiona assured me it was her favorite store in the whole world and I needed to make it mine too. DSW stands for Designer Shoe World where brand name shoes of all types are sold for reasonable prices and if you go there often enough you can find some exceptional deals.
I had a blast trying on all kinds of exotic shoes, some of them with ridiculously high heels. I felt like a kid in candy store and quickly understood why Fiona said to was her favorite store. There were sales assistants around if you needed them but you could generally just help yourself as all of the different styles and sizes were available for you to get your hands on.
After a couple of minutes of fantasy parading up and down in front of the mirror I realized that I might have a couple of admirers from over in the men’s section which made me instantly self conscious so the parading stopped.
Fiona selected 2 pairs of 3” cork heeled gladiator sandals, one in red and one in beige, to get me started. We then picked out a pair of low heeled light brown leather gladiator sandals and then Fiona persuaded me that those 3 pair, with my ballerina flats, would keep me going through my first couple of weeks at school. The shoes went on my college expenses card. The time was now after 11:30 and we had a couple of more stops to go so we headed off to Cherry Hill Mall.
The first shop we went into was CVS for cosmetics and toiletries. I paid for the things that were gender specific from my savings (make-up etc.) and the other stuff went on the College expenses card. Fortunately this stuff was not difficult to carry across the mall.
The next store we went into was called ‘Angels Only.’ I had no idea what it was until we were inside. The pictures of beautiful women in underwear in the windows should have been a giveaway.
“This,” said Fiona, “is a specialist woman’s underwear store have an additional reputation of selling everything for a woman to make the most of her breasts, including breast cancer survivors or people who were flat chested like you.” We entered the store to find a pleasant looking lady waiting to help us.
She was obviously a few years older than us but I doubt she was old enough to be my mother, although I know my mother could pass for 30 any day. She had long dark flowing hair, impeccable but ever so slightly heavy make-up and possibly a few pounds overweight, but she made up for that by having fabulous cleavage exposed in the low cut area of the black one piece she was wearing. Her name tag said Sarah.
Fiona explained to the assistant. “My little sister here is a late developer and would like to go from her present 1/2A cup to a B cup.”
“We can do that!” said the Sarah. From the counter below her she produced two different styles of breast forms. One had a cloth type finish and the other was a more realistic silicone finish. After that there was another choice where I could just place the breast forms in any bra and they would just sit on top of my regular skin. The second was to use them with a special bra that would create more of cleavage where there was none before.
“Behind the curtain young lady,” the assistant ushered me holding the bra and breast forms in her hand. “Take of your dress to the waist and remove your present bra.”
With that I became a little hesitant. “Don’t worry young one. I have helped a thousand ladies of all shapes and sizes into this fitting room to help them with the correct shape wear for their needs, and whatever I see here in this room is between you, me and the good lord.”
I am not very religious but I found her words comforting. She explained to me some of the features to me then helped me into the bra, and then she had a good look at my chest.
“You are not completely flat chested you know. I have seen girls come in here with so little breast tissue that you would think they were a boy. You are not like that, you actually have breast tissue, just small is all. You would be a regular A cup and not the half that your sister mentioned. Are they tender?”
“Of course they are tender,” I said. “I thought everyone’s breast were tender.”
“The whole of the breast, not just the nipples?”
“The whole breast,” I said.
“Well I can tell you that boy’s nipples are the only part that’s tender, because that is the only ‘breast’ material they have. I can see you have women’s nipples because I would be able to tell boy’s nipples. Of course I wouldn’t say anything if you were a boy.”
I was surprised. I have breasts. Who would have known?
“This bra has silicone on the underwire sections and under the arms,” she explained. “Therefore when you pull what breast you have forwards, it helps to create a little breast from nothing.” She was helping me create what she was talking about while she was talking. When she was finished the shape I had was not at all bad and looked definitely feminine. Next she helped me position the breast forms.
“When you add the silicone form into the bra,” Sarah continued, “the adhesion of the silicone to your skin and the way the bra pulls you into shape creates cleavage above the bra. This will give you a one size boost. I will also give you some adhesive tape to use under the breast forms so that they stay in position when you are wearing something low cut. This will also help you create and maintain cleavage that you didn’t already have. You can experiment with this when you are on your own.”
She was right. Right before me in the mirror I saw an attractive lady with a nice pair of well-shaped B size breasts.
“That is truly wonderful,” I said. “The look so natural I don’t know how anyone could tell.” I didn’t tell her that my lower body parts were expanding. At that very moment Fiona came into the dressing room with something pale pink in her hands.
“Can we try this on my sister,” she asked.
“Excellent choice,” said Sarah who immediately helped me lower what was remaining of my dress down so it only just covered my crotch then she wrapped my in this pale pink corset and proceeded to lace me in from the back. The corset was made from a comfortable satin material with heavy boning and once the laces were pulled I could feel and see the boning changing my shape. Seeing myself in corset and bra that way was beginning to become very arousing, until I realized how tight the thing was getting around my waist. I found my breathing becoming affected.
“I think that should be enough tightening for now,” said Sarah. ‘You should probably leave this on overnight and tighten it a little more every morning. And could take it off overnight but it should be replaced first thing in the morning. In fact for the first couple of days you could leave in on overnight.”
I didn’t like the overnight suggestion about overnight, but I did like the noticeable step above my hip that was never there before. My body had turned into that of a woman before my very eyes.
“Do you think she likes it?” said Sarah.
“I am absolutely sure she does,” said Fiona. “It has left her speechless.”
I pulled up my dress and zipped up the zipper. This time the zipper went up with no binding in the middle section. The girl in front of me looked fantastic. What a shape! I felt like I had a fuller shape than Fiona but resisted the temptation to tell her so. I turned to Sarah and reached for her hand saying, “thank you thank you. Can I give you a hug I feel so grateful?”
She said, “of course you can dear,” as we shared a brief moment touching shoulders. “You would be surprised how many runway models have no more shape than you.”
I also gave Fiona a hug and thanked her too.
“You are welcome little sister. I don’t think there is anyone who could ever mistake you for a boy now.”
“Surely no one has ever mistaken this beautiful girl for a boy even before the corset and bra?” asked Sarah.
“No of course not,” said Fiona, “but for some years she has had that fear.”
“You are a very, very pretty young lady,” said Sarah. “And don’t you ever forget it. Now go out and be confident, but not before we have rung these items in.”
The reality of another quarter of my savings disappearing brought be back into the real world. The time was now 1pm and we needed jewelry and towels. We headed for a jewelry store to get my ears pierced. This had to be done with the minimum of fuss. With a jewelry assistant we chose some zirconium earrings with gold posts. Having little time to fuss about I just let the assistant get on with it. We also bought a set of simple gold studs to use for quieter occasions, like going home to see my parents.
We quickly selected a couple of simple necklaces and bracelets without spending a fortune. Fiona said that these are very personal items and were best bought when you have time to try them on and see how they look on you and how comfortable you feel in them, but time was not one of the items we had much of.
With the time at 1:20pm we headed back to the apartment to unload all of my new things before I headed for my first orientation.
When we got back only MJ was home and she was preparing to leave to visit friends in town. She pointed us to some pizza that Angie had ordered and there were still a couple of pieces left for us. Fiona helped me carry all of my purchases up to my room, and then we sat down, me on my computer chair and Fiona on my new bed.
“You do have everything on the list don’t you?” she asked.
“Alnost Fiona but we didn’t get any towels.”
“You can get them yourself at the mall after your orientations,” she replied.
Then she reached out for my hand and looked a little serious. “Are you sure you are OK with this? Becoming a woman overnight is a huge change. I know it’s you under there and I remember us pretending you were our little sister years ago but you have grown up to be my brother, and now this. Are you ready for this? Its not too late to back out you know?”
“I feel like I have made the decision,” I said, “and I don’t have time to go back, and besides I love looking like this. I am beginning to feel that I wasted my last few years being a boy when I could have felt like this, pretty and attractive. I have no plan for what to do about Mom and Dad or our sisters, but I have a plan for my first day at college and this is it. I am already in it.”
“That sounds a little strange to hear because we all thought you made a really nice boy and we love you very much,” said Fiona.
“I understand that and I am grateful for all the love you always give me, but I was a boy who wasn’t really turning into a man was I? All of the other boys I know got big and hairy and started dating girls, but that never happened to me. I never believed that I fit in properly, but I feel I may have found my place now.”
“But looking like that you are going to attract boys, and we were pretty sure you were not going to turn out gay. That is why Dawn went to all that trouble.”
“I know,” I said. “I can get aroused now just thinking of what she did, but I am not here to date boys. I am here to get a degree.”
“I wish I could continue this but you have to go to your orientation and I have got to get to my college,” she said checking the time on her cell phone.
So we stood up and hugged then she gave me a kiss on the lips. Then with a surprised look she turned to me and apologized. I was somewhat surprised myself.
“I am sorry for that,” said Fiona. “I usually kiss Dawn, Barbara and Mom on the lips but now you are wearing a dress it felt like the right thing to do, until I did it.”
“It was nice,” I replied. “I am not quite sure if there is anything wrong with it. I hope you do it again, but not this second as I am a little shocked.”
We didn’t have time to discuss anything further. The time was 1:50pm and I had at least a 5 minute walk to get to the college, and no time to eat my pizza. I picked up my back pack with my instructions and headed down the stairs. College awaits.
Starting College my way. Chapter 4.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 4.
Who’s that girl? Monday afternoon September 9th.
I walked down the stairs and headed briskly towards the college. I had not had time to eat any pizza but then I thought maybe the fact that my stomach is so constricted be this corset will stop me from being hungry, but I instantly realized that I was hungry so my theory was wrong.
My optimism made me theorize that an orientation could include food, but that was probably only wishful thinking. I was probably going to go hungry for the next couple of hours.
I walked as quickly as I could without getting myself overheated as this was a warm late summer day and the sun was strong. I took some relief from the shade available in the tree lined streets and the avenues leading through the open area if front of the campus, and on to the main building entrance.
There were people gathering in small groups in front of the main building and some people sitting at desks with posters and advertisements for college activities but I did not have time to look at them. I walked up the large stone steps and into the main building and down the long hallway to the Grover Cleveland Hall.
The door was open and I could hear someone talking.
The hall was large with maybe 2 or 3 hundred seats but it was less than ¼ full. I headed up the side of the hall about 6 rows from the front and saw two women sitting together so I made my way to them and sat down.
When I looked up I realized that most of the people in the hall were looking at me including the lady at the front.
“Young lady please stand up and tell us you name,” the lady projected clearly from the plenum.
“Leslie Haigt Miss.” I replied clearly and loud enough for everyone to hear me.
“And why are you here today Ms Haigt?”
“To become oriented Miss,” I replied, which raised a few chuckles around the room, but I don’t know why.
“And tell me Ms Haigt, what have you learned so far?”
“I have learned that the distance between my apartment and this hall cannot easily be walked in less than 10 minutes Miss.”
“I am glad that you have already started learning. And Ms Haigt can you tell me what you expect to learn in this presentation?”
“To learn some of the things I need to know to smooth my path through the academic year.”
“Good answer Ms Haigt. One of the things you will need to know is that I will attempt to embarrass anyone who comes into my lectures late. What will you be majoring in Ms Haigt.”
“Mathematics Miss,” I answered.
“Then your lesson is timely Ms Haigt as I will be one of your Professors. Please sit down Ms Haigt.”
At last she turned her attention away from me and resumed talking to the rest of the assembled students.
She was a short slim lady maybe in her 50s with no chest to speak of, wearing an ash gray pants suit with a white blouse. Quite smart I thought. Her hair was short and medium brown. I guessed she could have been attractive when she was younger, but now looks a little weather beaten.
“I am Professor Lisa McClelland. You may call me Professor McClelland or Ms McClelland and I will answer to Miss without offence. I have occasionally been called other names but I had better not hear them from any of you.”
As she talked she began walking from one side of the hall to the other, explaining the thing that we as freshmen needed to know. Respect in all things. No hazing of any kind. Be your own best advocate. You are here to learn not party. Make friends here and they will last you a lifetime. Join college student organizations and never waste a moment of you time here it’s too precious.
It was a pretty good 20 minute speech but my hunger and tiredness from this morning’s shopping were distracting me.
After the speech we all filed past the row of tables at the front to collect official college handouts for everything from where to get academic supplies and books off campus, the best and cheapest restaurants and the tire stores that give discounts to Winston students.
She encouraged us all to go to our first meet and greets at the rooms designated for each subject. There were charts in a couple of places around the hall showing the student names and the room numbers and location. My assigned location was the main library reading room table 5.
As I was approaching the allotted table a young man approached me. He was just a few inches taller than me. Medium length brown hair loose over his ears, thin beard and broad across the shoulders. He was wearing nice new looking jeans and a short sleeve dress shirt.
When as his gaze met mine he started speaking. “You certainly made an impression on your first day.”
“Excuse me,” I replied.
“Clear, calm and confident. You certainly did not allow the lecturer intimidate you.” He was now holding out his hand obviously to shake mine, so I gently but firmly shook his hand.
“Why should I be intimidated,” I asked. “I was 3 minutes late to an orientation presentation.”
“I agree with you,” he said, “But I can tell there were many people in the room terrified of being asked anything on their first day. And may I also say that you were also the prettiest women in the room?”
“You did say it and I do not object to flattery provided you accept that I am attending college to obtain a degree in mathematics and not to pick up boyfriends.”
“I think that is fair enough, but I couldn’t resist the temptation to be the first to try.”
“In that case,” I said, “consider yourself the first to be rejected.”
“I will therefore congratulate myself on my accomplishment. My name is Lawrence Dark.” He said offering me a seat in the middle of the table. “I am also taking Math.”
I accepted the seat and placed by back pack on the back of the chair. He sat beside me and continued to talk to me. “I am from Wilmington Delaware. Where are you from?” he asked.
“Reading Pennsylvania,” I replied.
“That’s where they have the Japanese Pagoda on the hillside overlooking the city.”
“Kind of,” I said. “You must have been there.”
Other people were now joining us at the table. A tall slim smiling young man with a Fender ball cap and curly brown hair sticking out from under it sat next to me and introduced himself. He placed his back pack on the table in front of him. It had electric guitars painted on it.
“Hi,” he said. “You are Leslie Haigt. I am Vic Headingly from Worcester Massachusetts.”
“Please to meet you. Do you play?” I asked.
“Sure do,” he replied. “Just got myself a 1979 Gibson ES335.”
“Cool, just like Lucille, that must have cost you a pretty penny,” I said.
“Sure did,” he replied with gusto. “My folks paid for most of it for a high school graduation present. It took me most of the summer to find one I wanted. Don’t tell me you play guitar too?”
“Yes I do but what do you mean play guitar too?” I asked.
“Well you play guitar and your know what kind of guitar BB King plays, you’re in my math class and you’re really pretty. You must be my dream girl.”
“Not you too,” I said. “I just got hit on by the guy the other side over here. Am I going to have to sit on the other side of the table with the girls?”
“I was just trying to be friendly,” said Lawrence.
“Please don’t sit over the other side. We will behave, we promise don’t we Lawrence?” then he placed his hand over mine.
“Ah,Ah, ” I said as I pulled my hand away. “Don’t touch the merchandise. You have to but me dinner first!” as I realized that was exactly the wrong thing to say.
“Does that mean we are on for dinner?” said Vic.
“No it does not.” I said firmly. “I am sorry that was a bad joke. Can we all just start again? Hi everyone. My name is Leslie Haigt and I am here to do Mathematics!” as I stood up and offered my hand to the guy on the other side of the table who looked kind of Mediterranean looking with straight black hair and a tan.
“Hello my name is Jesus Gotano. (pronounced hey zeus) I live with my family in Highland Park NJ and we moved here from Columbia. My Dad is Project Manager for an oil company. I think this is an all mathematics table.”
The African American lady next to him had had also stood up and was offering me her hand. “Hi I am Connie Smith. I come from Dover Delaware. My parents are in the Air Force.”
Everyone stood up and was introducing themselves to the others in the group. The group consisted of Me, Vic, Lawrence, Jesus, Connie, Caroline Gordon tall dark haired slightly overweight but very pretty girl from Long Island NY. James Rumple from Pittsburg, tall slim redhead with a scruffy red beard, and David Trinder from Rochester NY, stocky medium build guy developing male pattern baldness.
“I have the envelope for this table,” said James and he handed out sheets for everyone to read and complete.
It was an ice breaker with instructions. It explained that this group had selected randomly from the first year math students just to get things going.
Study groups could be organized separately or we could stick with this group. The questionnaire should be completed then we could all discuss our answers. The questions were set just to get conversation going any try to find out if we have anything in common with the rest of the group. The questions included.
What is your favorite sport and who is your favorite team?
How do you like to exercise?
What type of music do you like?
What is your favorite band or musical artist?
Do you play a musical instrument?
What is your favorite tooth paste?
What is your favorite store and what do you like to buy?
What is your favorite food?
What kind of books do you read and who is your favorite author?
What do you do on Saturday nights when you are not in college?
There were no names on the pages and when we were complete we mixed up the pages face down in the middle of the table and then each person got a sheet to read out, then we guess whose page it is.
The first person to read was the person who handed out the sheets so James the tall guy from Pittsburg stared reading from page the out loud
“Basketball and Miami heat,”
“That could be anyone because no one on this table comes from Florida,” said Lawrence.
James continued. “Exercise bike, pop music, Adele.”
“Obviously a girl,” said Vic, “because guys don’t like Adele.”
For just a fraction of a second I wanted to correct him on that, but thought better of it when I remembered that I was wearing a dress.
“Violin but only at middle school,”
“That puts Leslie out because she plays guitar,” concluded David, Vic and Lawrence at the same time.
“Colgate fresh mint.” No takers on that one, we all use mint toothpaste.
“Zara women’s clothes.”
“That’s a nice store,” I said. “But they have boy’s clothes too!”
“It has to be Connie or Caroline so don’t you two say anything then we can guess at the end,” said James, then he continued till the end of the list.
“Seafood marinara, Maeve Binchey and 40 shades of grey.”
“Could be either of you,” I said looking at Caroline and Connie.
“And the last answer is movies.”
“I don’t know why but I think its Caroline,” said Jesus. She nodded and said yes.
“So you get to read the next one,” said James to Caroline.
“OK,” said Caroline. “Here we go. Basketball and Football, 76’s and Eagles”
“That’s local and sounds like a guy,” said David.
Caroline continued. “Electronica and Indie, Moby.”
In an instant Vic started clapping his hands over his head and singing.
“Am gonna find my baby, woahh, for the sun goes down.”
I joined in singing the next line and clicking my fingers and Lawrence started banging out the beat in the table.
“Am gonna find my baby, woahh, for the sun goes down.”
James started to complain, “I think we’re gonna get thrown.” But he couldn’t continue because students on at least 3 other table started joining in.
“Am gonna find my baby, woahh, for the sun goes down.”
Lots of people around us were joined in singing now and Lawrence was banging away like a drum solo on the table.
“Am gonna find my baby, woahh, for the sun goes down.”
Then it petered out quickly as 3 lecturers came into the hall and started shushing us.
“That was cool,” I said as a couple of us continued to laugh after the singing stopped. Caroline started back into the list.
“Vinyl turntables, a sampling machine, Kentucky Bourbon.”
“Kentucky Bourbon is not toothpaste,” said Connie.
“You speak for yourself,” said Lawrence. “It has worked fine for me on occasions.”
“So Lawrence, are you a rap artist?” asked Vic.
“No I just try to make new music out of samples and do a little sound recording,” said Lawrence.
“So you could record Vic and me playing Lawrence?” I asked.
“So are we a duo now?” asked Vic. “Maybe we should discuss this over dinner.”
“No we will not.” I stated. “I was only asking if he could.”
“I could,” said Lawrence, “but all my stuff is at home.”
“Ball Park Hot Dogs,” stated Caroline.
“Hot dogs?” asked Vic. “All those great answers and you have to finish hot dogs?”
“Hot dogs taste great when you are watching a good game,” said Lawrence talking across me to Vic. “Just not so good when you are losing.”
“The last answer is Raves and Hip Hop Dance clubs,” said Caroline.
“You can fry your brain on the stuff they get at Raves,” said James.
“I don’t use any of the bad stiff,” said Lawrence. “Red Bull and Bourbon seems to work good for me.”
“My favorite aperitif,” said Vic.
I guess Lawrence and Vic were building a friendship already.
We continued reading each other’s sheet but nothing interesting happened. I did learn a couple of interesting things about some of my classmates.
Connie seemed to have a pleasant outgoing personality and she was quite attractive too. She didn’t play any instruments but she said she did sing a little soul and gospel and was interested in opera music and had some opera lessons. Connie liked going to the occasional Redskins game.
David seemed pleasant and exceedingly average at everything apart from smoking cigarettes which he seemed to do a few times during our afternoon together, bringing back his foul smelling aroma back with him from the smoke area.
Jesus is a nice happy guy who likes to go dancing and keep in touch with his Latin roots through salsa. He said he has a couple of girlfriends who he dances with and invited any of us girls to go dancing with him, no strings attached just dancing he said. He made it sound interesting enough that it could be tempting.
James seems like a self-righteous ass who didn’t seem to care what people think of him and spent too much time on his own. I think he must be a health freak because he explained his special diet that he maintained because he is a serious medium and long distance runner. I don’t think we will be spending much time together.
Vic’s page was a little more interesting as read by Jesus.
“Football and Hockey. Patriots and Bruins,” said Jesus.
“Well there are a few of us who like football, maybe we could go see an Eagles game together?” I suggested.
“Sure,” said Vic.
“Playing scales on my guitar,” said Jesus.
“That is not exercise,” said James.
“It’s all you get from me,” said Vic.
“We are supposed to guess who the person is by the answers,” said Connie.
“Well there are only two people left and we all know Leslie is not from Boston,” said Vic.
Jesus carried on. “Guitars and toothpaste is toothpaste.”
“You must have a favorite?” said Caroline.
“I hate them all,” said Vic. “I only use them to make sure my breath don’t stink. I use Crest because it’s usually the cheapest.”
“Not a big fan of oral hygiene then Vic,” I asked.
“Oh I am a big fan of oral hygiene,” said Vic. “I just don’t like the taste of toothpaste.”
“Guitar Center and Guitars,” said Jesus.
“Well we could all tell that was coming,” said Lawrence.
“There is one about 5 minutes from here in Cherry Hill,” I said.
“Will you show me where it is,” asked Vic.
“On a map, sure,” I replied. He looked forlornly at me waiting for me to change my mind but I was not going to offer. He is good looking I thought, but that kind of idea could get me into serious trouble.
“Meat lover’s pizza,” continued Jesus.
“That kind of food will make you put weight on,” said Caroline.
“Ah, but I am lucky. I have the eat all you want and don’t put on weight gene.”
“I hate you,” said Caroline but only joking.
“Classics — John Steinbeck.”
“Now there was a man who could tell a story,” said Connie. “So what do you do on Saturday nights?”
“This Saturday I haven’t made any plans. Where would you like me to take you,” he asked back to Connie.
“What does it say on the page Vic. What do you do on Saturday nights?”
“I play guitar with my band in some noisy bar.”
“How are you going to do that Vic if your band is in Massachusetts?” asked Lawrence.
“University comes first,” said Vic. “I might get up there to play a couple of times before Christmas, anyway I might find some pretty girl to play music with me while I’m here.” Then he looked at me and winked.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I said. “I already have my sister as my singing partner. You wouldn’t like our music because it’s too quiet for you.”
“You have a sister that you sing with?” asked Lawrence. “Is she as pretty as you?”
“She is even prettier than me and she is studying music at the Philly school of arts.”
“If you are so keen on music, why didn’t you go study with her?” asked Vic.
That was a hell of an idea I realized. Why didn’t I think of that?
“Because she took music at high school and took all of the prerequisites. I didn’t, but if I had I could have avoided you two jerks.” They laughed because they knew I didn’t mean it.
We had kind of forgotten the exercise but Connie brought us back on track.
Leslie there is one more page and we guess you are going to have to read your own.
“OK, here we go!”
I turned the page and tried to remember why I had chosen such stupid answers.
“Football, the Eagles, Bicycle riding in the country.”
“Pop, Rock, Indie, Blues, Jenny Lewis, Elvis Costello and Sheryl Crow.”
“Cool choices,” said Vic.
“Acoustic guitar, Colgate Total.”
“Wal-Mart George cheap clothes — DSW for shoes.”
“Wal-Mart!” Exclaimed Caroline. “You don’t look like you shop at Wal-Mart.”
I said, “It’s not what you wear but how you wear it. And anyway I can’t afford expensive clothes on my college budget.”
“Manhattan Clam Chowder.”
“What’s wrong with New England clam chowder?” said Vic.
“I don’t like the cream and the potato.” I continued without stopping as I wanted to get this over with.
“Music related books — No favorites but I just read Waging Heavy Peace by Neil Young and I play music at home with my family.”
“What you sit around the TV on Saturday and sing to your guitar?” asked Lawrence.
“No, our house has a studio/music room. Mom plays the piano, Dad plays the double bass, Barbara plays violin, Dawn plays drums, Fiona and me play guitar and we all sing.”
“Just acoustically,” asked Vic.
“Oh No,” I replied. “We have a sound system with mics set up and a proper mixing board and everything.”
“So we are done!” said James.
“Why,” said Vic.
“Because its 5pm and they are serving pizza in the cafeteria.”
“Perfect. I am starving,” I said.
“Everyone got up and headed towards the door in a disorganized bunch, but Connie and Caroline made their way to be one each side of me as we left the library. Vic and Lawrence were trying to get between us but I managed to avoid them.
“Those two Vic and Lawrence really like you,” said Caroline.
“Maybe but they are not going to get anywhere.”
“Why not,” said Connie. “They both seem really cute.”
“Cute is dangerous. Oh I might hang out with them but I am not looking for a boyfriend right now. I intend to take University seriously.”
“You have 3 sisters,” said Connie. “I would love to have had sisters but I am an only child, and because we moved around so much with the Air Force I never really had any close friends.”
“Oh come on,” I said. “You seem like a really pretty and likeable person. You should never struggle for friends.”
“You don’t know what it’s like living on a base.”
“Do you have any siblings?” I asked. Caroline.
“I have an older brother but he is married. He is nice to me but I don’t see him often. It’s just me and my Dad at home.”
“Well you two can both be my honorary sisters while we are here,” I said.
“My stomach is rumbling, where is the pizza?”
“Powder room first,” said Connie as they ushered me into the nearest ladies.
I became aware as we went in that I was still a boy and I had never been into a girl’s bath room. I didn’t know exactly what to expect. I knew that there would no standing places so I would be using a stall.
I arranged myself behind Connie and Caroline as we went in and found ourselves at the back of a short line. I became very aware of my condition all of a sudden and had conflicting emotions.
I felt confident in my female appearance but my concern was I am now in a girl’s only environment. What do they do different? What do girl’s talk about in bathrooms because boys don’t usually talk much?
There were 3 girl’s talking while quietly maneuvering for mirror space above the wash basins, but I couldn’t hear what they were saying.
Connie turned around and said, “You know that Lawrence has a really nice ass, if you don’t mine me saying?”
“Why should I mind you saying?” I asked her.
“Well right now I would say that Lawrence and Vic are yours to do whatever you want with. I couldn’t get between you and them if I wanted,” said Connie.
“But I told them both,” I said quietly. “I am not interested and am only here to learn math.”
“You played that very well too,” said Connie,” but we both know you were still flirting. I bet they will be waiting for us when we get into the cafeteria and will want to sit by you.”
“I wasn’t flirting intentionally,” I said.
“But the way you spoke to them and looked directly into their eyes will make them think you were,” said Connie.
“I bet they both felt dizzy after you looked into their eyes. Your eyes are beautifully done. I was hoping you might help me with mine,” said Caroline.
When I looked I saw she was hardly wearing a any make-up.
“My sister did my eyes for me this morning,” I said. “I don’t usually wear much make-up.”
“Your eyes should be your trademark,” said Connie. “Everyone will remember your eyes and be disappointed if you don’t look just like that next time they see you.”
I was obviously going to have Angie and Carla give me a lesson in make-up tonight.
Stalls became available so I went in. I pulled up my dress and pulled down my control panties then the tiny lace panties I had under them. It was good to be ‘free’ for a moment but my predicament was giving me a small erection, which I was sure no one could see because of the tiny cracks around the doors and my dress falling back down.
I sat down and pushed my hand between my legs to control the direction of the flow. I had to let go in small bursts to make sure I didn’t wet myself or make too much noise. I felt like the other girls could be listening.
I cleaned myself up and pulled up my panties and went to adjust myself down and under, which was not easy because it felt truly wonderful to be wearing a dress and panties, but it had to go down. I managed to straighten myself out and was out in a flash over at the basin washing my hands, when I heard someone behind me.
“Whose is this bag?”
I looked around and there was a tall black girl holding my handbag. I went over to take it from her with wet hands.
“You could have lost that bag in an instant,” she said. “Never leave your bag over the paper holder girl,” she said.
I turned red with embarrassment.
“Sorry,” I said, “And thank you.”
I put the bag over my shoulder and returned to washing my hands.
“I can’t believe you left your bag in the stall,” said Caroline who was standing next to me.
“I must have my mind on other things,” I said.
“Like Lawrence’s ass,” said Connie.
“No at all,” I said.
“I wouldn’t blame you,” said Connie. “I can imagine holding it between my knees right now,” as she started putting some more lipstick on.
I couldn’t think of how to answer that, so I grabbed some lipstick out of my bag and started to retouch my lips, then my bag swung off my shoulder and I smudged my lipstick out the corner of my mouth. I reached for some tissue and tried to wipe it off but only succeeded in making it worse. Connie was watching me while I did this.
“Shit Leslie,” she said. “You look like you have never done this before.”
“No much,” I said. “I never started wearing much make-up till recently.” I was now feeling rather stupid and helpless and fortunate that I had an understanding friend to help me.
She reached into my bag.
“You haven’t got much in here,” she said, then she reached into her own bag and pulled out a q tip.
Then she took some foundation out of my bag, put some on then end of the q tip and started working on the smudge.
“The foundation acts like a solvent to blend the lipstick so you can’t see it. Now you finish the job,” She gave me the q tip and passed me back my own lipstick and said, “Put your bag between your knees, it can’t do any damage there.”
I thanked her, put my bag where I had been told, finished blending the smudge until I couldn’t see it then put some more lipstick on, this time more carefully.
Then I looked at myself. A pretty girl surrounded by other pretty girls in the girl’s room. If I had the time to think about this I would definitely find this arousing, but I didn’t have time.
As we got out into the hallway I pulled them both aside to explain to them something that I was making up as I went along. I hoped they couldn’t tell.
“Connie, Caroline please help me. You may think I am confident and assured but to tell you the truth I don’t know much about being an attractive girl.”
“I have been a tomboy most of my teens and my parents just used to let me get on with it, then I got really upset recently when someone I thought really liked me, told me he thought I was a boy.”
“That upset me a lot so I decided it was about time I really became the girl that I should have been all along. Until a couple of weeks ago I only ever wore baggy jeans and never even had a handbag.”
“Really, someone thought you were a boy?” said Caroline.
“It’s true,” I said. “Happened more than once too.”
“I guess that explains a few things,” said Connie.
“Honestly I am just winging this,” I told them. “Seriously, before today I haven’t worn a dress for more than half an hour for years.” That line was actually true.
“But you have a beautiful shape, how could anyone think you were a boy?” asked Caroline.
“You should have seen the stupid clothes I used to wear. Cargo pocket pants and baggy tee shirts. Never wore make-up and only ever wore sports bras.”
“But why Leslie?” asked Caroline.
“Growing up with 3 beautiful sisters has its drawbacks. I always felt like the runt of the litter.”
“They can’t all be more beautiful than you?”
“Oh you should see my sister Dawn, She looks like Sophia Vergara” I said and grabbed my phone to show them a picture.”
Connie took the phone off me and started looking through the pics .
“I see what you mean,” she said, and then she found one of me in boy’s clothes.
“Shit is that you. You do look like a boy.” She showed Caroline. “How on earth do you hide that body under those clothes?”
“That is amazing,” said Caroline. “I can see the same person underneath but I see a girl in front of me and a boy in this picture.”
“So if I seem a little new to all this girl’s stuff you can understand why.”
“Don’t worry,” said Connie. “Caroline and I will help when we can.”
We carried on down the hall and went into the cafeteria. There were boxes of Pizza, wings, salads and a variety of canned drinks. I went straight for the pizza and I grabbed a couple of pieces then snagged a few wings and a can of coke. Caroline and Connie took some food for themselves and we headed for an empty table.
As we got there Lawrence and Vic made a bee line for us. As they reached us I held my hand up.
“Stop right there,” I said. “Ladies only table. No room for you guys, we are full up. Not enough seats. Find your own table.” There were a few buts and groans and comments like ’but it’s a free world’ but I wasn’t having any and they left.
I was glad I chased them away because as they left Rebecca came walking confidently towards us in a beautiful red summer dress with matching clutch bag and pumps looking quite stunning. The dress was cut quite low and she was displaying some remarkable cleavage.
“Can I join you?” She asked. “Eating healthy again I see Leslie?” she said looking at my pizza and wings.
“Please do,” I said after clearing some pizza from my mouth. “I am making up for a missed lunch. Caroline and Connie please meet Rebecca. We met today at the Coffee Hutch on Swedes Road where my apartment is.” They shook hands.
“I am a returning student doing my MBA this year,” said Rebecca. “Are you two doing math with Leslie?” They both nodded their heads as they were eating.
Rebecca added, “I work part time at the Coffee Hutch and live in the apartment above it, so you know where to find me.”
I cleared another wing from my plate and asked Rebecca, “How come you are here Rebecca? I didn’t think you needed an orientation.”
“I am here to browse the student activities. They usually do a play and this year it seems they are going to do a musical version of Romeo and Juliet.”
“Do you act?” asked Connie.
“Heavens no,” she said, “but I like to help with production.|
“But you are certainly pretty enough to be on stage Rebecca,” I said.
“Thank you Leslie but I though your friends had told you not to do that,”
Rebecca said giving me a knowing look. Connie gave me a confused look too.
“It turns out I am too stiff on stage. I am far too nervous. You on the other hand would be perfect on stage.”
“I don’t know what makes you think that. You have never seen me act or sing.”
“But you are confident and forward Leslie. There doesn’t seem to be an ounce of shyness in you.”
“Maybe that’s because I haven’t a clue what I am doing.” I replied.
“You may not,” replied Rebecca. “But you are totally natural and unreserved.”
“Everyone was impressed when she came late into the orientation and totally flummoxed the Professor,” said Connie.
“What did she say?” Rebecca asked.
“The professor asked if she had learned anything yet and Leslie said, ‘the walk from my apartment to this room cannot be comfortably walked in ten minutes’,”
“What’s wrong with that?” I asked.
“But Leslie, didn’t you understand what she was doing,” asked Connie.
“What?”
“She was trying to embarrass you but she couldn’t.”
“Was this old flat top,” asked Rebecca.
“Who is old flat top?”
“Professor McClelland.”
“So that is what she was talking about when she said ‘other names’ I guess,” said Connie. “It suits her.”
“That’s mean,” said Caroline, “but it’s funny.”
“See what I mean,” said Rebecca. “Nothing seems to faze you. So why don’t you come over to the Dramatic Society table and talk to them?”
“OK,” I said. “I don’t have anything to lose.” I finished my pizza and attempted to clean up my sticky fingers.
We went over to the Dramatic Society table at the far end of the cafeteria and me this year’s director. His name is Anders. He was a tall slim blonde guy with a scruffy beard pale freckled skin. Rebecca introduced me.
“Nice to meet you Leslie. We can never promise people parts but we give everyone a try out. Do you have any musical abilities because this year we are doing a musical version of Romeo and Juliet?”
“Yes, Rebecca told me. Actually I sing and play guitar.”
“How interesting,” he remarked. “We haven’t done a musical in a few years so we have no idea who will do the singing parts, so we would welcome you to try out for as many different parts as you like. Have you performed on stage at any time?”
“I have done a couple of recitals at my sister’s school.”
“And where was that dear?” he asked.
“At Lenfest Hall.”
“You have performed at Lenfest hall?”
“Yes and what is wrong with that?”
“Oh there is nothing wrong with performing at Lenfest Hall, it’s just that for them to allow you to play at Lenfest hall you have to be pretty dam good.”
“It was only an alumni recital,” I said.
“But even for alumni recitals they get a thousand people. What did you play?”
“We played ‘In Dulci Jubilo’ on two guitars with my sister. A bit similar to the Mike Oldfield version.”
“And when was this?”
“About 4 months ago.”
“Now let me ask you a stupid question. What subject are you taking?”
“Math,” I said.
“Why are you taking math?’
“Now you are the second person to ask me that today. You’re putting doubts in my head.”
“Look Leslie we will be really glad to have you with us but I have no idea why someone who could play ‘In Dulci Jubilo’ on two guitars at Lenfest Hall would not want to go to Curtis and study music full time.” Then he turned from us to talk to someone else.
I wrote my name down on his list but I was a little upset at why someone would want to talk to me like that. I wanted to do math, at least I thought I wanted to do math.
“Oh don’t mind him,” said Rebecca. “He is an engineer. I think maybe he regrets not going into the theater.”
Then she put a friendly arm around me. Her right breast was resting on my shoulder and I was given an amazing glimpse of her cleavage from about 6 inches.
It was hard to look away but I realized that I didn’t want to upset her because this lady obviously wanted to be my friend, and I really wanted to be her friend. Who wouldn’t?
“So what are you doing later?” she asked.
“I thought all of the students would be going to the orientation dance at in the Eisenhower Hall.”
“Well you can of course if you want to but I don’t think you will get much from it. Before 9pm nothing much happens then later when the music starts its all dance music for the kids. You don’t strike me as that kind of person, and there is no alcohol.”
“Well I am only 19 and shouldn’t be drinking anyway.”
“Well I am 23,” said Rebecca, “and when I need a glass of wine I am going to have one. I am helping out at the Coffee Hutch from 7 till 9 and then I am going to stay around and listen to a couple of people who said they would play a couple of songs for us, so we could see how good they are. Why don’t you bring your guitar down, we are only just down the road.”
“I will think about it,” I said. I had already made my mind up that I wouldn’t miss it for the world, but I didn’t want to tell her that.
“I will see what the other girl’s at my apartment are doing. I do have some other stuff to catch up on.”
I was hoping the girl’s can give me some make-up advice.
“Think of me,” she said. “Waiting on my own for someone to come cheer me up.”
“Don’t you dare try to make me feel sorry for you,” I said as looked into her eyes and gave her a knowing look.
“You are the one person I have met since I got here I am sure will never be left on her own.” The top of her thigh was resting against my hip and her presence continued to electrify me.
“But I am not always surrounded by the right kind of person,” she said.
“So what makes you think I am the right kind of person?”
“Well if you come to see me tonight we might find out?”
‘Jesus’ I thought to myself. How the hell do I think I could possibly handle a woman like her? She was giving me so many signals I thought they must be unmistakable.
She took her arm from around me and placed both hands on the table looking at Anders. He looked over at her and looked her straight in the cleavage before looking at her eyes.
“You are coming over tonight Anders right?”
“Of course I am darling,” he said. “Nineish.”
“For sure,” she said, then she guided me away from that table and down the line of student organization tables.
Ahead of us I could see Lawrence and Vic hovering near the music club table. Their eyes kind of lit up when they saw us. They both had a very good look at Rebecca.
“Leslie, are you going to join the music society?” asked Lawrence as he and Vic waited for my answer.
“What do they do?” I asked.
“Well first,” said Vic, “they get the use of the music room to play and practice two nights a week through the school year. Tuesdays and Sundays.”
“Starting tomorrow?” I asked.
“No starting this Sunday. Some years they do performances for the students but last year there were not enough students interested. This year they have more people interested. Just put your name down and we will keep you informed.”
“Are you two in math with Leslie,” asked Rebecca.
“I am sorry Rebecca,” I said. “This is Lawrence and this is Vic, they will be in my class.” They shook hands. As she was wearing pumps Rebecca was a little taller than Lawrence but not as tall as Vic. They both seemed really pleased to meet her.
“Are you an old friend of Leslie’s?” asked Vic.
“No actually we just met today,” she said, “but I can tell we are going to be good friends.”
The absurdity of these situations continued to confound me. Here am I, a 19 year old runt of a man, in a dress and make-up, listening to this 23 year old goddess of a woman tell these two attractive young men that she and I were going to be good friends. One part of me felt totally at home here and another part felt totally out of place.
“Well we hope to see you around. Are you going to the orientation dance tonight?”
“Now way,” she said shaking her head. “I was just trying to persuade Leslie to come down to the Coffee Hutch where I work, so she can play a couple of songs for me.”
“Sounds great,” said Lawrence. “Me and Vic here would be more than pleased to be wherever you and Leslie are going.”
“You flatter us with you politeness,” said Rebecca as she reached over and touched Lawrence’s arm for an instant. I could see he was temporarily disabled by her as his mouth opened and he couldn’t speak for an instant.
“Where is it and what time?” said Vic. She told them, and then we excused ourselves and looked to find Connie and Caroline.
We found them at the ski club desk talking to some tall good looking young guys about going skiing in the winter.
We explained or plan for the evening with them and invited them to the Coffee Hutch, then we all made our separate ways out Connie and Caroline going east from the main entrance and Rebecca and I going south towards the Coffee Hutch and our road.
Light up my life, so blind I can't see
Light up my life, no one can help me now
Who’s that girl?
Maddona
I’m gonna find my baby, before the sun goes down.
Moby
Sampled from "Joe Lee's Rock" by Boy Blue.
Starting College my way. Chapter 5.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 5.
Digging a hole. Monday evening September 9th.
Rebecca and I walked back from the college after my orientation meetings. I had been wearing a dress and make-up all day but I had been so busy getting on with the things I had to do that the wearing a dress part had not really played on me. I was becoming accustomed to it, but every once in a while the incredulity of the situation got to me.
Everyone just accepted that I am a girl, I even had boys wanting to date me, but this time yesterday I was a boy.
And then there was Rebecca. She was about the most attractive woman, including my sisters, who I had ever been in the same room with, and I think she wants my body too, and she thinks I am a girl too. How fucked up is that?
“So tell me about this dilemma regarding you going to music school,” Rebecca asked.
“To tell you the truth Rebecca,” I said. “I have always been a math nerd. My sisters have always been the ones who were good at everything so when I found I had a mathematical gift I decided to go with it.”
“My closest sister Fiona is the musically gifted one so when Fiona went to music school I thought she has got the music covered so I would do something else.”
“It never really occurred to me that we could both do the same thing. Anyway, who wants their little sister hanging around with them all the time?”
Some of that was true but other parts were bullshit. I didn’t want to be close to my sister because I didn’t want there to be any chance she would find out I was wearing girl’s clothes while no one was looking. It’s funny how things get turned around when you least expect it?
We reached the Coffee Hutch and standing in the road outside she turned to me and held both of my hands. She was delicious and her touch was electric.
I wanted to kiss her but I couldn’t be sure that being kissed was what she wanted from me. Anyway, I don’t believe two (apparently) girls kissing in the middle of the street would be socially acceptable in this neighborhood.
She looked in my eyes. “You are coming tonight aren’t you?”
“Yes I think I am.”
“Good,” she said.
Then while still looking straight into my eyes she brought my left hand to her lips and kissed the back of my fingers then walked away without looking at me for a reaction. I was rooted to the spot watching her.
While she was walking towards the front door I saw her face in the refection of the restaurant window smiling at me, and then as she went in the door she gave me only the tiniest of glances before she disappeared into the shadows.
What am I missing I thought to myself. When I wear boy’s clothes and talk to girls they seem not the slightest bit interested, but now I am wearing a dress and make-up the most devastatingly attractive girl I have ever seen it giving me all the signals that she wants me.
I think she wants the girl in the dress, but what is under this dress in not actually a girl. How this was going to work out I have no idea, but I can’t turn away from her. How could any young man, or whatever I am, in his right mind turn away from Rebecca?
It took me a few moments to realize that I was still staring at the shadow that she disappeared onto. I was now aware that her fragrance was gone and all I was left with was fresh air, which in turn woke me up. Good job there was no one around. The warmth of the day was dying and I could tell it was going to be a cooler evening than anything we have had recently.
I came to my senses and walked back the apartment. As I was walking through the kitchen I saw Angie in the lounge sitting on the sofa wearing pajamas and eating fruit loops with milk and watching OWN.
“Oh hi Leslie,” she said without much enthusiasm.
“And what’s wrong with this picture,” I asked her.
“Stupid dorks in engineering,” she said. “I didn’t find anyone nice to talk to. I am sure there were nice people but the ones in my group were just not my type.”
“You can change your group you know.” I said.
“Yes I know and I did meet one nice guy that I spent some time with, but then I realized he was hitting on me.”
“So, was he nice? Getting hit on almost sounds like an insult when you say it like that.”
“Yes he was nice, but I am not looking right now.”
“So, tell him ‘thank you but no’ and that you appreciate the complement.”
“Yes, I know, but I was hoping to get a little rest from that stuff. I though doing engineering in college would be different.”
“Whatever made you think that? Men are men regardless of what subject they take. The important thing is are they good to you?”
“Leslie are you an expert on men being good to you?”
“No of course not, but I think I have some small insight into how they think.”
“Leslie, forgive me but getting insights on how men think does not sound right coming from a pretty little thing like you in a dress, and forgive me when I say this, I was just telling you and not asking for advice.”
I could have taken offence to that remark, but chose to ignore it. I was going to ask for her help.
“Angie, remember yesterday you said that you would help me learn to do my own make-up, well today I smudged my lipstick and I didn’t have a clue how to fix it. I don’t even have all the make-up items I need. Will you help me make a list so I can go and get them.”
“No I will not, but I will come with you. I needed something to get me off this sofa, she said as she jumped up and headed to her bedroom and closed the door behind her.
In just a few moments she came back wearing jeans and a black tank top with PINK written across it in big pink letters. She had put her beautiful blonde hair back in a ponytail.
“So show me your stuff and we will make a list.”
We made the list and I added towels and women’s deodorant to it and we headed for Wal-Mart, again. Didn’t take us long to get to Wal-Mart and get the stuff I needed. Angie needed a couple of things too so we had our own shopping carts and went through separate pay points.
I gave Angie some money towards the salad and stuff she was buying for supper. When we had paid, Angie pointed out the hairdressers with a couple of empty seats.
“I know your sister did a pretty good job with your hair this morning,” said Angie, “ but if you get it cut properly it will be easier to handle in the mornings, especially when you need to get ready yourself.”
I agreed it made sense so we went into the hairdressers, still inside Wal-Mart that is, and they got me straight in. Angie and the hairdresser helped me pick a style that wasn’t too far from the shape I had before, but would more easily manageable and a little bit more feminine.
Sitting in the hairdressers chair was the first time today where I got to sit still with nothing else to contemplate my predicament, but having my hair done in a professional stylists is not something I could sit through without paying attention.
The first thing that happened was to be swung around and have the back of my chair collapse backwards. My hands and feet flew in the air and I was trying to climb back up out of the chair without any success when the hairdresser tried to calm me down.
“Easy does it lady!” she said. “I am only trying to wash your hair. Have you never had your hair washed before?”
“Er, no actually,” I said.
“Then who has been doing your hair?”
“My Mom and my sisters most of the time.” I said.
“I could tell your last haircut was not a professional job. You seem to have it cut like a boy.”
“What can I tell you? Until recently I didn’t take good care of my hair, but from now on I am determined to have it look good now.”
“Just lean back into my hands and I will take care of you. Close your eyes and enjoy being taken care of.”
It took a little while for me to relax but after a couple of minutes I enjoyed the sensation of someone rubbing their hands through my wet hair and massaging my scalp.
I never realized having your hair cut could be such an intimate experience. If I opened my eyes I could see right up her nostrils.
“Well I can tell you that the best way of ensuring you have good hair is to find a good hairdresser and go to them regularly.” She said quietly to me as she was talking only a few inches from my ears,
“$60 or $80 dollars a month is a reasonable price to pay to ensure your hair looks good and is manageable.”
$60 or $80 dollars a month! I thought that would be what I should be paying for food. This being a girl thing is becoming expensive.
She wrapped my head including my eyes with a nice soft towel and kind of hugged me as she brought me back into the upright world instead of the upside down world I had been in, then she gently but firmly towel dried my hair. I could see how women could easily develop relationships with their hairdressers.
She clipped and cut for a while then put some rollers in and put me under the microwave or whatever it was. Sure seemed to dry my hair quickly. Then she cut and snipped and blow dried while adding stuff here and spraying stuff there.
At one point she stopped to gently rub my cheek with the back of her hand.
“You must have had the laser on your face,” she said. “Your skin is so clear but you have not even the tiniest hair on your face. They do a lovely job. We have one here if you ever need it again.”
“You have lovely hands,” she said. “I hope you don’t mind me saying but you really need you a manicure. Those wicks are getting rather raggedy. The girls here can do a really good job if you have an extra 15 minutes.”
“Oh that is a wonderful idea,” knowing that she probably gets commission on everyone she sends over, “but I really don’t have the time. Maybe next time I come here.”
It was wonderful seeing my hair transformed into a real girly shape. My face looked smaller and highlighted my hair. There was no way I could possibly go home with my hair looking like this. Mom would have a fit.
In 40 minutes my hair was done and we were heading back to the apartment.
It was after 6:30 when we got back and Carla and MJ were there to complain that it was Angie’s day to arrange dinner and they were hungry. My day would be Thursday. There was a schedule in the kitchen.
Angie got supper ready quite quickly. She had bought spinach, bell peppers, chunks of cooked turkey and nuts and with other things already in the fridge, she had prepared a very nice salad in just a few minutes.
Not exactly the kind of food I would have prepared if left to my own devices, but obviously the kind of food I would have to get used to. While we sat at the table and started eating, Angie brought over a jug of water with ice and chunks of lemon in it with 4 glasses.
“So how was your first day as a full time girl?” asked MJ.
“I really enjoyed it,” I replied. “I think I should have done this years ago.”
“So did you meet any nice guys,” asked Carla.
“There were a few,” I said, “but are you all assuming I am gay and want to date guys?”
“It feels natural for us to think that way,” said MJ. “I have always thought that someone who puts on a dress and make-up, especially someone as pretty as you, would be doing it to attract men. Do you think I have made a reasonable assumption Leslie?”
“I am sorry MJ but I haven’t had time to think too deeply about it. Yes I admit that it feels good to wear a dress and feel attractive. It also feels good to have nice young men pay attention to me, but that is not my primary focus. I am here to earn a degree in math.”
“But you could have done that without wearing a dress Leslie,” said Angie.
“I agree,” I said, “but when we started discussing my options last night this seemed like the most painless choice, and to tell the truth the thought of spending so much time in a dress dramatically tipped the scales. I realize now I just love being a girl.”
“But part of being a pretty girl like you Leslie is having some young stud put their tongue down your throat.” Said MJ. Then she held her fist near my face. “Over to Leslie for a reaction.”
I dithered a little. “Seems a bit disjointed doesn’t it? I like the attention but the thought of kissing a boy has not occurred to me yet, but it doesn’t repulse me either. I was talking to Connie today and she made a comment about holding Lawrence between my knees. I did imagine that scene for a moment and I was definitely not repulsed.”
“OK,” said Carla leaning over the table towards me. Close your eyes and listen to my voice.
“Let’s try this. Imagine you are talking face to face with this Lawrence. You can taste his sweet clean breath on your face, then he puts his arms around you, one hand resting on your butt gripping one cheek and pulling you firmly towards him.”
“Then he kisses you on the lips and you feel his tongue enter your mouth, you taste his tongue then you start tingling all over. Then you realize that you can feel his erect penis pressing against your stomach.”
“Oh Shit,” I said and my knee hit the table and the cutlery on the table all bounced at once. I had to put my knife and fork down and reached between my legs. “I like just got a shock between my legs.”
“I think we got our answer,” said MJ. “She wants him.”
“You are so easy,” said Carla. “If that really happens he will have your pants off so fast you won’t know what hit you, and then where would you be?”
I heard what they were saying, but I was concentrating on the tingling between my legs. I dashed off to the bathroom and left them giggling at me.
When I got to the bathroom and pulled down my pants I found that I had come in my panties.
I was amazed at myself. OK so I had been aroused a frequent times during the day, shit, just wearing the dress and knowing that I looked like a girl was constantly arousing, but to think that the thought of Lawrence’s penis digging me in the stomach putting me over the top, oh I still felt woozy.
There was a knock on the bathroom door. “You OK Leslie,” asked Angie.
I’m OK,” I said. “Just cleaning myself up!”
I could hear MJ outside talking to Carla. “I told you she came in her pants.”
“When you have finished in there you will have to clean up the mess in the chair you were sitting on,” said Carla.
“There was no mess,” said Angie.
“There could have been,” said MJ. They were having a good giggle about it.
I suppose it was kind of funny. I put my semi cleaned pants back on.
“I am gonna have to get a shower,” I said then I opened the door. Outside in the hall Angie grabbed me as I opened the door and gave me a hug. MJ and Carla joined in. I burst out crying on her shoulder.
“Everyone deserves a hug after they orgasm,” said Angie.
“Then you guys owe me hugs from this morning while you were out,” said MJ. Then I started laughing though my tears.
I had another revelation to consider, as I sat in my room to compose myself. I was attracted to men. The thought of Lawrence holding me against his rock hard body, putting his tongue in my mouth and feeling his erect penis against my stomach had brought me over the top.
This was a moment for resolve, I persuaded myself. Boys were not part of the plan and I was not going to let this tingling between my legs get the better of me. I would carry on my day determined not to let the thought of boys enter my mind.
As the girls had agreed to give me a makeover for this evening and explain everything as we go, I cleaned my face and took a shower. I had to use a plastic shower cap to keep my hair dry. Another thing I had never done before.
I dried myself, took off the shower cap and put my new bra and boosters on, knickers, then a camisole top and slip and walked out into the kitchen where Angie and Carla were waiting for me with all of my new make-up collection. MJ sat watching TV.
Angie and Carla explained what to do with my make-up, only this time I had to do for myself. They had a list written out for me, all of the tools and items I would need then explained what I needed to do in order. They just let me do it, giving me little pointers and explanations on the way.
Use concealer under the eyes and for any darker area, primer on the lips, never use dark eyeliner on the inside of the eye, sweep eyeshade outwards, powder in the recesses of the face, but away from the eyes.
When I was finished they explained that what I had now was a daytime and school look. For evening I had to add more of almost everything. More eyeliner, eyes shadow and mascara, deeper colored blusher and lipstick and a little more powder again.
I told them what clothes I was going to be wearing, which was the same dress but with leggings underneath, 4” heeled gladiator shoes instead of flats and my short denim jacket. Definitely not overdressed for an impromptu audition but still attractive and youthful.
The time was now a little after 8pm and I completed getting myself dressed then stayed in my bedroom to practice a little guitar and allow the girls to get ready. I also trimmed the nails on my left hand to ensure I could pick the strings properly, then repainted my nails.
At 10 minutes to 9 the four of us left the apartment and headed down to the Coffee Hutch.
The lighting inside was a considerably darker than during the day with candles on the tables. Where our table had been in the morning was replaced by two tall stools and 2 microphones on stands lit by a couple of spot lights.
A little background music was playing. I recognized Connie, Caroline, Lawrence, Vic and Anders but another 15 or so people I did not know.
Rebecca came in from the back with a tray of wine and beer for some people I didn’t know. She was wearing a different black short evening dress with no jewelry except for some diamond earrings. She didn’t see me.
I took MJ, Angie and Connie over to meet the people from my class and some conversation developed around subjects and schedules etc. After a couple of minutes Rebecca came over and ushered me away from the others and back towards the kitchen.
“I hate to do this to you Leslie but its sink or swim time. I am going to introduce you to the owner here and he wants to talk business.”
We stepped into the kitchen and Rebecca introduced me to a tall slim attractive man about 50 with long greying hair pulled back in a ponytail. He offered me his hand as he saw me.
“Hi you must be Leslie,” he said in an English accent. “I am sorry to do this too you but a couple of people have told me that you might be a good singer, although no one has heard you yet.”
“The duo that I was expecting tonight called and said they can’t make it and I couldn’t get anyone else. All I can tell you right now is that if you can play for 2 hours it’s worth $100 and if you are any good I will book you and the money goes up if you bring more people in.”
“What is your name,” I asked.
“Dylan,” he answered.
“After Bob Dylan?” I asked.
“No,” he said. “It is actually after a rabbit named Dylan that my folks used to watch on TV when they were kids. He carried his guitar wherever he went. The rabbit was named after Bob Dylan.”
“The rabbit carried a guitar?” I asked.
“Yup,” he said.
“Cool,” I said. “OK I am sure I can handle two hours, but I will tell you one thing that is important to me.”
“Shoot,” he said.
“Shoot what,” I asked.
“I mean tell me what is important to you.”
“My college work. If you start making demands on me that interfere with college work or my attendance, then I will quit.”
“You haven’t got the job yet,” he said.
I looked him in the eyes with confidence. “Some people think I am overconfident.” I said. “Others just think I am right.”
He thought about it for a moment then offered me his and said, “Deal.”
“Deal,” I said shaking his hand. “I’ll get my stuff ready.”
I didn’t have much to get ready. As he walked to the front of the restaurant Rebecca and I stayed behind in the kitchen where the alcoholic drinks were prepared.
“Need anything at all?” said Rebecca.
“A glass of red wine would be good.” I told her.
“I thought you said you were too young to drink.”
“I think that comment was taken out of context,” I said. “A glass of red wine is a medical necessity right now. For my voice,” I said.
“Sure,” she said. She reached out and poured me a glass and handed it to me. I quickly enjoyed it and used it to clear my throat, then gave her the glass back.
I turned and walked over to where my guitar was then took it to the front and prepared myself. I nodded to Dylan who introduced me. I carried on tuning my Taylor which didn’t actually need tuning so I wasn’t actually listening to Dylan, just for when he said, “Leslie.”
I turned around smiled and got up on the stool and spoke into the mic.
“Hi my name is Leslie Haigt. H A I G T just in case any of you is from the news media or a record company."
“I actually consider myself half of a duo with my sister who is actually the better musician and I am going to modify what I play because there is only one of me so I ask for your indulgence. I hope I can keep you entertained anyway.”
“I am starting with some Sheryl Crow.”
I started with the Bm7 cord and tapped the guitar with one finger on the off beat then dropped down into A.
‘I woke up and called this morning’
‘The sound of your voice was a warning’
‘You don’t care for me anymore.’
I continued through the chorus the second verse then the second chorus then to the bridge.
‘Well nothing ever last forever, even when you stay together.’
‘I don’t need happy ever after’
‘It’s your laughter won’t let me go so I’m holding out this way’
Then to the sad finish.
‘When you see me walk on by, did it ever make you cry.’
‘My favorite mistake, my favorite mistake.”
Then the full Bm7 with maximum sustain. I knew I had nailed it.
There was enthusiastic applause for a small crowd and even a couple of whistles.
“Thank you,” I said. “This is a two part guitar song that kind of sounds OK with one guitar. It’s a Pink Floyds tune.
I started into ‘wish you were here’ and did the intro twice before starting into some of the most amazing lyrics I have ever heard.
‘And did they get you to change your hero’s for ghosts’
‘Hot ashes for trees, hot air for cool breeze’
‘Cold comfort for change, and did you exchange’
‘A walk on part in the war, for a lead role in a cage’
Intro again, final verse then intro two last times.
More enthusiastic applause. I knew I had them on my side.
I played a few more tunes and really enjoyed myself till I saw Rebecca at the back of the crowd waving an empty glass at me so I told the crowd thanks and I’m taking a short break.
I made my way to where Rebecca was and the people I met where congratulating me on a great job.
Dylan stopped by to say, “So I think we need to discuss what nights you are available Leslie?”
”Will you be here in the morning?” I asked.
“I am the cook,” he said.
“Then you can make me breakfast,” I said.
“Sure,” he said.
I made my way to the kitchen and Rebecca had a glass of wine for me.
“You are amazing,” she said, “I wasn’t prepared for you to be that good”
“You embarrass me,” I said.
“No I don’t,” she answered. “I heard the way you spoke to Dylan. You must be the most unembarrassed person I have ever met. You know exactly how good you are and if I ever saw you embarrassed I would guess you were doing it intentionally just to be polite.”
“You could embarrass me!” I said.
“I doubt it.”
“But maybe I would enjoy you trying.”
“Now there is a thought,” she said. “But we will have to save that thought for another time.”
That gave me something to look forward to. I finished my glass of wine and made my way back towards my guitar. Part way back Vic stopped me.
“Can you do ‘More than words’ by Extreme,” he asked.
“I could do but I would normally need harmony.”
“I can do harmony with you,” he said.
“Come on down then, let’s do it now.”
So we did more than words. Vic has a nice voice and we sounded good together. He looked into my eyes most of the time while we were singing which felt kind of nice.
It’s a lot different feeling than when I sing with my sister. I thanked Vic then he kissed me on the cheek before he sat down which was nice.
I continued with a couple of Stevie Nick’s songs then continued singing anything I could remember that I could do on my own trying to avoid any songs that were obvious masculine songs as they didn’t seem right what with me wearing a dress.
I didn’t know what time it was but Dylan came down and stopped me as it was well after 11pm. He thanked me and told the crowd that he would arrange for me to do this again real soon, then Rebecca switch the lights on, Dylan turned the PA off and the crowd quickly dissipated.
Lawrence came to me while I was putting my guitar away.
“You play and sing beautifully,” he said and I thanked him. He said, “But I am a little jealous that Vic got to kiss you before I did.”
“It was a friendly kiss on the cheek,” I said. “And that’s as far as you are going to get in the foreseeable future.”
“That sounds a little dismal,” he said. “But how far into the future can you see?” I didn’t answer that question.
“Can I walk you home,” he asked.
“You can walk me, MJ, Angie and Carla the 50 yards to our apartment if you wish. I will be ready in just a few moments,” I told him. Then I went back into the kitchen to say goodbye to Rebecca. She was locking the back door.
“You were amazing,” she said. “Dylan really loved you and I bet he will let you have any schedule you want.”
“I have not thought about schedules,” I told her, “But I am coming around for breakfast in the morning. I should be here before 9am.”
“Cool, we will see you in the morning,” she said. Then she picked up my hand and kissed me on the palm of my hand. My mouth fell open and I became all tingly.
“You’re not embarrassed are you?” she asked.
“Embarrassed is not the sensation I am feeling right now,” I said smiling cheekily at her. Then she turned me around and pushed me out of the kitchen towards the front door.
“Get out of here” she said.
I walked back down to the front door and Lawrence was holding my guitar case.
“Can I carry this for you,” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. “Not too heavy for you is it?”
“No I think I can manage.”
We walked behind the 3 girl’s back to the apartment and I was feeling very pleased with myself. There wasn’t much time to talk.
“You know I would really like to record you some time,” he said.
I told him I would think about it, then I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, grabbed my guitar and was first up the stairs into the apartment.
When Carla came up she said, “He is still down there looking for you. He said you hadn’t answered his question.”
“What does he want?” I asked.
“Go ask him.”
I went downstairs and opened the door. “What do you want?” I asked.
“I was wondering how far you can see with that crystal ball of yours.”
“I don’t have a crystal ball,” I said.
Then he reached out had put his hand around my wrist and smiled at me. I had the feeling I knew what he wanted.
“I am not going to kiss you,” I said. I wasn’t going to tell him but it was nice to feel his touch.
“Are you sure,” he said. Then he gently started pulling me towards him, not so hard as I couldn’t pull away, but I didn’t want to pull away.
“What are you doing,” I asked.
“Testing your resolve,” he said.
“What resolve,” I asked.
“When you said you were not going to kiss me.”
‘Oh Shit,’ I said to myself. I felt myself being drawn towards him. I knew I could just turn and run up the stairs, but I didn’t want to. I wanted him to kiss me.
He pulled my arm up to his chest then placed his other arm around my waist. I had to put my other arm around his shoulder to steady myself. He was as solid as a rock. He bent his head down and positioned his mouth over mine.
We kissed, my tongue touched his and I saw stars. For a few moments I went all tingly and week at the knees, then I pulled back and realized what I was doing.
I pushed him away without saying anything, slammed the door ran upstairs to my room tears were falling down my face before I hit the bed and buried my face in the pillow.
I was angry as I cried into my pillow and kicked my feet into the bed.
How could I let myself do that?
I was still a boy wasn’t I?
How come I enjoyed it?
The girls came after me to find out what the problem was, MJ was sat at the desk and Carla and Angie sat one each side of the bed.
“What’s wrong Leslie, did he hurt you?” said Angie as she rubbed my back.
“No,” I said.
“Did he make you do anything against your will?” said Carla.
“No,” I said. “He kissed me!”
“Was his tongue too far down your throat,” said MJ.
“That’s horrible,” I lifted my head up and scowled at MJ.
“So what do you expect?” said MJ. “You dress, talk, sound and act like a very attractive woman then complain when some handsome guy kisses you. You can’t have it both ways Leslie.”
“I couldn’t stop him,” I said.
“Then that’s assault,” said Angie.
“No, no,” I said. “I mean I couldn’t stop myself.”
“You thought being a girl was going to be easy didn’t you?” said MJ.
“I thought I was just going to wear a dress and go to school. I didn’t plan on kissing anyone.”
From the hallway I could hear the sound of someone knocking on the front door. Carla went down to answer it.
“I think he must be still out there,” said Angie. “Do you want to speak to him?”
“No I couldn’t,” I said. “I wouldn’t know what to say. I feel stupid and confused.”
“Is that the way you feel every time someone kisses you?” said MJ.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I have never really been kissed before.”
“Not by a man you mean?” asked Angie.
“Not by anyone,” I said.
“I told you,” I said. “When I was a boy no one ever took any notice of me.”
“You never told us you had never been kissed.” said MJ.
“Well now you know. Lawrence is the first person I have ever kissed. Boy or girl. Now you know how totally screwed up I am.”
“Was it nice?” asked MJ.
“That’s beside the point.”
“No its not,” said MJ. “I think you are a transgendered woman. You probably should have been a girl all along.”
“That may sound simple to you,” I said to MJ. “But I am even more screwed up than that.”
“What do you mean,” said Angie.
“I really like Rebecca too.” I said. “I think she wants me and it really excites me.”
“You are screwed up,” said MJ.
“At the Coffee Hutch I went to say goodnight to her and she kissed me on the palm of my hand.”
“Did you kiss her,” said MJ.
“No but I wanted to.”
“Have you any idea what you are doing?” asked Angie.
“No,” I said. “That’s what I have been telling you. Since I put a dress this morning I have been like a kid in a candy store. I can have anything I want and everyone helps me. I am the center of attention. I have never had that experience before.”
“So what was it like being a boy?” asked Angie.
“It was like every door was always closed and I had to push my way in, and every time I got inside the door my sisters were always there with all of their stupid friends.”
“But you said your sisters love you,” said MJ.
“They do,” I said, “but the people they hang around with are not interested in me. I am just a dorky boy.”
“I think it’s time for you to get used to the new reality,” said MJ. “You are a beautiful woman and it’s time you took control of your life.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
“If you want to kiss him then what’s stopping you?”
“I am a boy,” I said.
“No you are not. Make your mind up. I see a beautiful girl in front of me. Is that what you want to be?”
“Yes,” I said.
“Are you sure,” asked MJ.
“I think so. I can’t imagine wanting to go back to being a boy now.”
“Then go kiss him again.”
“I can’t!”
“Are you sure? Are you in control of what you want?” asked MJ.
“He is still outside,” said Carla who had come back up without me noticing.
I sat up on the bed. “Is my make-up OK,” I asked anyone who was listening.
“It’s OK,” they said. “Anyway its dark outside.”
I walked over and looked in the mirror. Not the greatest I realized but I don’t think I would scare anyone away. I was more composed now and I had a purpose in what I was doing. I walked down the stairs and opened the door.
“Lawrence,” I called out quietly.
“You OK,” he asked as he stepped out from a shadow.
“I am OK. I want to tell you something.”
“What,” he asked.
“I don’t want a serious boyfriend,” I said.
“That’s OK,” he said.
“I might let you kiss me once in a while but that’s as far as it gets,”
“That’s OK,” he said. “I will take what I can get.”
“And you can’t be possessive with me.”
“Will you be possessive with me?” he asked.
“Don’t know,” I said. “I have never done this before.”
“What do you mean?” he asked. “You want an open relationship?”
“No that’s not what I meant,” I said. “I have never had a boyfriend.”
“Serious,” he asked. “Never had a boyfriend?”
“Never,” I said. “Have you had girlfriends.”
“A few,” he said. “But never more than one at a time.”
“I have no idea how this is going to work out,” I said. “But I am willing to give it a try.”
“I can live with that,” he said. “Can I kiss you now?”
He moved closer towards me and put his arms around my sides to pull me gently to him. My body was pressed into his and I was leaning back with my arms around his shoulders as he looked into my eyes.
I closed my eyes and he kissed me. I felt a tingling glow radiating from my lips to encompass my entire being. I could feel his penis against my stomach. I didn’t run.
Digging a hole is that the way you treat me
Digging a hole just lock me up and beat me
Big Sugar
Starting College my way. Chapter 6.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 6.
My Favorite Mistake. Monday September 9th after midnight.
I don’t want to talk about what Lawrence and I did on the front porch, save to say that we kept our clothes on and I had an out of body experience. It is true that I don’t have much experience at kissing but I really think Lawrence is a good kisser. I enjoyed myself anyway.
After I left Lawrence on the front porch I went back to my room. I didn’t see the girls and I guessed they had gone to bed. I needed to call Fiona. She answered after 3 rings.
“What time do you call this?”
“We need to talk. Something has happened.” I said.
“What can have happened already? I was with you this morning and you only went to orientations.”
“Listen, you know when that lady in ‘Angels Only’ was fitting me for a bra?”
“Yes.”
“She said I had breasts.”
“You’re sure,” Fiona asked.
“I remember what she said. It was only this morning. She said some people who come here don’t have any breast tissue at all, just like boys, but I did have real breast tissue, only they are small. She also said I have women’s nipples.”
“My goodness Leslie, we always thought you were different, but this.”
“I think maybe I should have been a girl all along. I had the most wonderful day. I really enjoy being a girl.”
“Have you really thought about this?”
“It seems obvious to me after spending the day as a girl, I don’t think I ever want to go back to being a boy,” I said. “There’s something else.”
“OK so what have you done now?”
“I kissed a boy.”
“Jesus Christ Leslie you have only been a girl for 5 minutes and you’re kissing boys already.”
“I only kissed one boy on the lips,” I said. “And one boy on the cheek.”
“This is serious Leslie; you are making life changing decisions. You have got to put more thought into it than this.”
“I have to go home and talk to Mom on the weekend. I am sure she will understand.” I said. “After all I was not much of a boy.”
“Don’t say that, you are a beautiful boy. We all love you so much.”
“Beautiful is not normally what you call a 19 year old boy. No one ever calls me handsome or rugged or tuff or any other adjective you associate with boys. As a boy I have been pretty much the runt of the family.”
“I have been wearing a dress for one day and I have lost count of the people who have called me pretty, and I have loved every minute of it. I got hit on by some really good looking guys.”
“So what happens to my brother?” Fiona asked.
“I am still here. I just wear dresses now. You can still call me Leslie only now we can swop dresses instead of me borrowing yours when you are not looking.”
“I feel like I am loosing something. I always had a brother. You are my best friend.”
“I will still be your best friend. I bet we will spend even more time together. We can go dress shopping and double dating and watch chick flicks together.”
“You have to go see a doctor.”
“Why? I feel fine.”
“Normal boys don’t just grow breasts. Maybe there is something wrong.”
“I know I thought about that, but it can’t be urgent. I don’t feel any different than I did yesterday.”
“But yesterday you were happy being a boy. I think that is a pretty radical change.”
“But everything about me feels right. I look at myself in the mirror and I see what I should have been all along. I feel like a girl.”
“I can’t help feeling apprehensive for you Leslie,” said Fiona, “but you sound so happy and positive that I can’t help feeling happy for you too. So tell me about the boy?”
“He is not like a boy. I was a boy. Lawrence is a man. He is about 5’-10” and broad shouldered and powerful, but very sweet and he is in my class. He is not nerdy at all.”
I explained how we met and how I later played at the Coffee Hutch and how he walked us back to the apartment.
“But it’s only 50 yards,” she said. “What happened in those 50 yards?”
“Well I kissed him on the cheek, took my guitar and ran upstairs. Then the girls told me he was downstairs waiting for an answer. I didn’t understand so I went down to see him.”
“When I got downstairs he was like this irresistible force that just couldn’t resist. I just had to kiss him. After a few moments then I realized I was kissing a boy and just about threw a fit. I ran upstairs to my room so angry with myself for being so stupid. The girls came to see me to find out what the problem was. I told them everything.”
Fiona was surprised. “So they must have told you that this was crazy and you can’t go around kissing men who think you are a girl?”
“No, not at all, they said everything would be OK if I took charge of my life and if this is what I really wanted then I should go for it.”
“That’s stupid talk Leslie. If the boy you are kissing knows you are a boy then you don’t have a problem, but that is not you’re situation.”
“But wait there’s more,” I said. “He stayed downstairs to find out what he had done wrong, so I went downstairs to apologize, that’s when he kissed me again. He had one hand around my waist and one had on my butt cheek and he swept me up like a rag doll. I could feel his penis against my stomach and if felt so much like this was meant to be.”
“Don’t be silly. It sounds like you have a crush on him. Your hormones are out of whack and you have lost control.”
“It also sounds really dangerous Leslie. He thinks you are a girl. If he finds out you are a boy he could get really mad.”
“I know Fiona but I was thinking, maybe I am not just a boy. Maybe there is a girl inside me that was just waiting to get out. Maybe I was supposed to be a girl but things just got mixed up and my body is a mistake.”
“You may think all those things may justify what you did, but that man has just kissed a boy when he was thinking he was kissing a girl. He could really go crazy.”
“You have to stop it Leslie. It is dangerous. I can tell you that if he finds out you are a boy and doesn’t like what you did to him, he could make your stay here untenable. You would have to leave in disgrace.”
“But it sounds like you’re not helping me Fiona.”
“I am trying to stop you from getting the shit beaten out of you Leslie.”
That comment gave me a ringing in my ear. I am not used to getting admonished by my sister Fiona.
“Tell me Leslie, before today, have you ever really kissed anyone before? Really? Like hands all over you like they want to suck you in and wrap themselves around you?”
“No,” was my simple but honest reply.
“Then I am not surprised that your first kiss seems to be a game changer. I remember when I went to a party at Megan’s house, I was sixteen. Do you remember Ross Brinkley?” she asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Well I thought I had been kissed before but that night we stood around the side of Megan’s house and he was all over me. He wasn’t just kissing me he was rubbing his hands around my waist and ribs and massaging me.”
“I actually came in my pants and he never when near my pants. Well he actually went near my pants but not in them. He had his hands all over my tits before I realized. I couldn’t stop him or just didn’t want to stop him.”
“In just two hours at that party I became infatuated with him. I thought that I couldn’t live without him. Later in the week I almost had to be restrained from going round to his house to talk to him.”
“I don’t ever remember you going out with Ross Brinkley.”
“That is the point Leslie. I never went out with him. I was just a girl at a party that he had some fun with for an hour or two. For days afterwards I couldn’t think of anything but him, but when I saw him in school he just said ‘Oh Hi’ and walked away, like we never really met. I was devastated for about a week, but I got over it.”
“You think that kissing Lawrence has messed me up so I can’t thing straight?”
“Yup!”
I was beginning to come down from the rush of kissing Lawrence.
“You mean this sensation I feel is not real?”
“Oh I am sure it’s real. I bet he made your world tremble, but don’t base any conclusions on one kiss.”
“You think I should go kiss some other guys?”
“No Leslie. I think you should let the effect of this one wear off before you make any dramatic conclusions about life and your future. It took 19 year to get to where you are now. Don't go planning the rest of your life based on the last 5 minutes.”
“I am in control a little more now,” I said. “It’s still fun being a girl.”
“I know,” She said. “I love you Leslie, regardless of whether you are my brother or my sister, and you will always be my best friend.”
“I will imagine you cuddled up next to me tonight and sleep better for it.” I said then we both hung up.
I was feeling very tired after a very long day so I took off my clothes and put on my nightie, cleaned my teeth, had a pee and went to bed. I remember waking briefly in the night for no reason other than my corset binding a little, but I generally just slept.
Tuesday September 10th.
In the morning I was dreaming of Fiona’s gentle touch and dreaming like I could feel her tits on my back and her arm around my waist. I held the arm around my waist against me and realized it was not Fiona. It was not Carla and I think the girl behind me was too tall to be MJ.
“Good Morning Angie,” I said guessing a who is was.
“Good Morning Leslie,” said Angie whispering only inches from my ear. “Are you feeling any different after your tongue wrestling exploits last night?”
“Oh yes I am definitely feeling different today. Last night I was telling Fiona that there was no possible way I could ever go back to being a boy again after yesterday.”
“I should hope not. I would never do this to you if you were a boy.”
“Was I that ugly?” I asked her.
“No you were definitely not ugly, but I am not the kind of girl who climbs into bed with a boy that I have only known for a week.”
“I am certainly glad I am a girl then,” I said, “because having cuddles like this from my girlfriends is certainly a wonderful way to start the day.”
I was certainly not going to tell her that she was a very beautiful woman and that she was giving me an erection by being so close to me. Sisters is one thing but Angie is gorgeous.
“So how come you are cuddling me today?” I asked. “Is everyone taking turns?”
“I thought you might need some comforting. I was assuming that kissing Lawrence again might have made you feel different or confused or something.” She said. “Anyway I wanted to see if you would wake up or stay asleep like Fiona said.”
“Why, how long have you been in my bed?” I asked.
“About fifteen minutes. You saying good morning actually woke me up from a light sleep. You are very comfortable to sleep up against. But you don’t sound upset at all,”
“I am not upset, although I haven’t thought about what happened last night this morning yet. I think it just sorted itself out while I was sleeping and I am OK with everything.” I assured her.
“I am almost disappointed,” she said. “I was thinking that you might need a comforting hug but I see that I am not needed,” she said as she used me to push herself up out of bed.
‘Bummer’ I said to myself. Even if I do feel OK I will always feel better with a hug. I guess some days we only get to feel so good.
“I am getting a shower.” She said as she strolled out of the room. She moved quickly and was just like a light breeze blowing out of the room.
After she showered so did I, separately unfortunately, and I started the task of rebuilding the girl that was Leslie. I used ladies deodorant and some talk under the places that would be covered by my corset.
I started adding the necessary undergarments but before I got too far I realized this was the first time I was doing this on my own without anyone waiting outside the door for me. My mind went back to a week ago when I was dressing for sexual gratification, or was I? I recapped those times in my mind.
There were times earlier in the year when I was on my own in our family house for the whole day. I would raid the closet that my sisters had set up for me for a dress, shoes and underwear etc. and just hang out.
I would have breakfast in a dress, play my guitar in a dress, go for walks around the house in a dress, text some of my buddies and make arrangements for Leslie the boy to do stuff as a boy, all while wearing a dress, and at some time during the day the sexual self-satisfaction part of the equation would reveal itself, but would never dominate.
Now as I am dressing up Leslie the girl for a day of college activities I find myself becoming aroused. But it’s not the same. Before this week my reality was that of a boy who never thought about being a full time girl, so my time in a dress was just a temporary diversion. Time wasted and forgotten.
Today I am looking at this predicament from several different perspectives at the same time. I don’t know how to order these perspectives as they jump into my reality randomly.
There is the boy Leslie from last week looking down and seeing himself dressing in pretty girls clothes and getting an erection. That Leslie is quickly becoming a previous evolution and while he pops up every little while, the others are hoping he will go away.
There is the mathematician Leslie who tries to solve each equation as is arises and adopts a solution, creates a path forward and goes for it. That is a backup characteristic that Leslie has that does not change between perspectives. Mathematician Leslie is neither male nor female.
Musician Leslie seems to change from male to female depending on the song that is playing in her head at the time, and there is always a song playing in Leslie’s head, except when the mathematician comes along and has a problem to solve.
Then there is the girl Leslie who wants to laugh, hug and be wrapped in pretty dresses. Being called pretty is the highlight of her day and this Leslie is becoming everyone’s favorite, of all the Leslies that is.
But it is Leslie the girl that is also the most vulnerable. The girl Leslie is the one who kissed Lawrence last night and is still bathing in the glow. But it is the girl Leslie who is fighting for acceptance and has to rely on the others to come and fight for her when she doesn’t know which way to go.
The girl Leslie didn’t understand that she actually had a voice until two days ago.
At this moment it is mathematician Leslie who is addressing the problem of ensuring that Leslie is well turned out and attractive but remembering how to apply make-up and put her pretty new hair style back to how it was last night.
The boy Leslie is getting in everyone’s way by looking over our shoulder and trying to catch a glimpse of a little cleavage or frilly panties.
The musician Leslie is playing a tune to entertain us all. This morning it’s the ‘Foo Fighters’ playing.
‘Easy for you to say, your heart has never been broken’
‘Your pride has never been stolen, not yet not yet’
‘One of these days, I bet your heart'll be broken’
‘I bet your pride'll be stolen, I bet I bet I bet I bet’
‘One of these days’
The girl Leslie is patiently waiting for everyone else to complete their jobs so she can go out and be pretty and find out if everyone is having as nice a day as she it.
I, including all my various parts and personalities, completed dressing and make-up etcetera and readied myself for breakfast with Dylan at 9am. Angie was drinking coffee and watching TV. We exchanged plans.
Angie had similar plans to me for today. Books and pre assignments were the order of the day. See had a mid-afternoon Engineering Faculty introduction meeting that she wanted to attend so although we might cross paths we didn’t plan to do anything together.
It seems MJ and Carla where already in class today and Angie had already eaten breakfast so I headed for the Coffee Hutch to see Dylan and maybe Rebecca.
When I got to the Coffee Hutch it was quiet inside with only two tables being used. I sat in my favorite table in the window and waited. In a moment Rebecca came in from the kitchen, noticed me and came over with coffee and a mug.
Rebecca came over, placed the Mug and Coffee on the table and gave me cheek kisses while holding my hands together on the table. Then she sat down next to me but turned towards me with our knees touching. She held my hands together and placed them on her knee, her green eyes sparkling as she spoke to me.
“You were wonderful last night Leslie. Everyone I have spoken to commented on the wonderful surprise of hearing you play. Dylan is so impressed that if he could he would ask you to play every night of the week.”
I sat and looked at her. I couldn’t help myself as I smiled while she was talking. Her eyes were so bright and cheerful they lifted my spirits even though I was already feeling good before I came in. She was absolutely stunning. I was wondering what I must have done in a previous life to be so gifted to be allowed to gaze into this woman’s eyes.
“You look radiant this morning,” she said to me. “You must have slept well I guess. It must be a wonderful feeling to be able to sing like you do and have people adore you?”
“I am just glad to make people happy,” I replied. “But what about you? You look wonderful today. Your eyes are really sparkly in the sunshine. I don’t think I have ever seen such amazing bright green eyes before.”
“Stop it Leslie you are embarrassing me.” She said as she poured me some coffee. “I can’t believe how a young girl like you can embarrass me like you do when so many have tried and failed.”
“I am not trying to embarrass you,” I said. “I am just saying what I feel. My nerdy mathematical brain just says what it thinks.”
“You are not a nerd,” she said. “You may have thought you were a nerd in the past but what I see before me is not a nerd, so get that out of your head. Do you want breakfast? I know that Dylan was wanting to cook for you.”
“Send him down,” I said. “Let him tell me what he can do for me”
Rebecca went back to the kitchen and very soon Dylan came back swashbuckling down the restaurant looking very pleased with himself. He grabbed for my hand.
“Wonderful to see you this morning Leslie,” and then a little hesitantly he said. “May I kiss you?”
“Sure,” I said. “Just don’t get carried away.”
He kissed my high on the cheek then sat down opposite me at the table.
“You look nice today Leslie. It’s nice to see you smiling. Last night although you did smile at the right times, I thought your performance was deliberate, professional and controlled. This morning you do not have the burden of performance upon you, therefore your smile is lighter and more natural.”
“You are so perceptive Dylan. You described my moods better than I can.”
“I think it is a trick I have learned being in the entertainment business for so long. I noticed that you projected so much confidence last night, I was wondering if it was because you find performing an easy task or do you hide your feelings well.”
“I don’t see it that way Dylan,” I said. “I have a part of me that is nervous, but I have another part that takes over and does not allow the nervousness to affect my performance.”
“Interesting,” said Dylan. “I have never heard anyone put it that way. Anyway, after hearing you last night I am really optimistic about this year.”
“Good to hear it,” I said. “I hope you don’t mind but my stomach is grumbling and I was really hoping to get some breakfast.”
“Ah yes, I was going to suggest something to you. I have a special supply of sage seasoned sausages and I serve them on a bagel with cheese. Can I tempt you with one? I serve it with fruit?”
“Sounds wonderful,” I said.
“Good,” he said as he grasped my hands that were resting on the table and shook them gently. He took off for the kitchen.
Just then my phone rang. It was Dawn.
“Hi Dawn, how is my beautiful sister,” I asked.
“I am OK Leslie. I was just in the area and I thought I might just drop in on you and see how College life is.”
Oh shit, what was she doing here?
“That’s not necessary Dawn and I am away deep in the college and won’t get out for hours.”
“Leslie I want to meet my new sister!”
News gets around fast. Fiona must have called her. The knots that had been forming in my stomach had disappeared to be replaced by a second set.
“Dawn I am asking you please be patient with me and cut me some slack.” I didn’t want Dawn’s manipulating personality spoiling my day that had started off so wonderfully.
“I love you and I am so sorry,” said Dawn. “I want to apologize for all the things we did to you as a child and the things I have been doing over the last few months.”
I could almost hear her tears down the phone. “Can I please meet my Sister?” she asked again.
“Where are you?” I asked.
“I am outside your apartment.” She said. I looked down the road and I could see her Subaru.
For a moment I wondered what to do but I really only had one choice. “Dawn, I am not at the apartment but I am just down the road. I am going to walk down the road to you.”
I had no choice. I had to go see her and face the consequences whatever they were. I just hoped she didn’t make a scene.
I got up and left. I knew I should have told Rebecca and Dylan but I would probably be back in a few minutes.
I watched Dawn get out of the car and she saw me. I was wearing a dress, heels and a woman’s hairstyle but I knew she would recognize me.
I knew I looked OK but I had no idea of what she would think, but her apology on the phone sounded authentic. As I got closer to her I could see she was struggling with tears. I got to 20 feet of her and she ran to me and burst out crying.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she said as she placed her chest on to of mine and wrapped her arms around my shoulders. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. I guess she must think that this is partially her fault.
“I’m just fine. There is no need to apologize to me.” I said trying to console her.
“I can’t believe I was so wrong. All of those times we dressed you as a girl must have really messed you up and I feel so guilty.”
“Honestly it was not your fault Dawn. I was built that way. I wanted to wear a dress every day that you let me. You didn’t mess me up.”
She released me from her grip but held me at arm’s length and looked at me. “I always thought you were beautiful as a boy buy I never thought you would be this pretty!”
“Guess I have good genes!” I said.
“You look a lot like Fiona. We always said you could be twin sisters.”
“I know. That used to sting a little when I was trying to be a boy, but now I take it as a complement. Are you gonna be OK now?” I asked.
“You don’t get rid of me that easily Leslie. I want to spend a little time with you.”
“I don’t want to get rid of Dawn, but a few minutes ago I ordered breakfast and I would like to eat it now. Are you hungry?”
“I am a little,” said Dawn. “When Fiona told me I just got in the car and drove here. I didn’t think about food, but I am hungry now.”
“OK so we are going to go back into the restaurant down the road. They don’t know that I used to be a boy and right now I don’t want them to know.”
“I’m OK with that. You can trust me,” said Dawn.
“Remember,” I said, “I never was a boy, ever.”
“I got it Leslie, really,” said Dawn.
Dawn held on to my arm as we walked back to the Coffee Hutch. “You are really pretty Leslie,” she said.”
“Thank you Dawn. That’s nice of you to say.”
“I am not just saying it,” said Dawn. “You are really pretty.”
I thanked her and reminded her that she needed to repair her make-up before we went into the restaurant.
Rebecca greeted me as we walked through the door. “Leslie we were worried. You just up and left we didn’t know where you had gone.”
“I am sorry for that,” I said. “My sister Dawn surprised me.”
“My fault,” said Dawn. “I came down to apologize for something I said. It was my fault.”
Dylan came walking down to speak to us.
“I am sorry for the missed step Dylan,” I said. “This is my sister Dawn who came down to meet me unexpectedly. Can Dawn share my sausage sandwich with me?”
I could see from the look in his eye he was pleased to meet her.
“Dawn I am very glad to meet you and there is no need to share. I will prepare a whole new batch for us all. Won’t take a few minutes.”
I reached over and touched Dylan’s arm. “Sorry to mess you up Dylan.” His arms were hairy like my Dad’s but blonde hairy. He seemed to appreciate the physical contact.
“Sausage?” said Dawn.
“I think these are special sausages Dawn,” I said. “Just go with it.”
Rebecca held her hand out to Dawn. “And I am Rebecca.”
“I am sorry Rebecca,” I said. “Rebecca and I only met two days ago but we are sure we are going to be close friends.”
“Yesterday,” said Rebecca.
“OMG yesterday,” I said. “I can’t believe we only met yesterday and I feel we are such good friends already.”
Rebecca and Dawn shook hands then Dawn hugged her. “If you are a close friend of my sister then you are a close friend of mine,” said Dawn. “I love my sister with all my heart.”
We were now alone in the restaurant. The 3 of us sat down at the window table then Rebecca realized that we didn’t have coffee and went up to get some.
Dawn reached across the table to hold my hands and look at me. “I am really sorry for those things I do Leslie. I couldn’t believe how guilty I felt when Fiona told me. “If there is any way to make this up to you?”
“Dawn I am fine honestly. I just love being a girl,” I said quietly to her. “I should have done this years ago.”
“So when are you going to tell Mom and Dad?’ She asked but I couldn’t answer because Rebecca came back with a pot of coffee to sit with us.
“So tell us about this boy you kissed last night Leslie,” asked Dawn.
I didn’t want that to come out in front of Rebecca but Dawn didn’t know that. I wasn’t sure if I had a relationship with Rebecca but I hoped so.
“That was nothing,” I said. “Just messing around. A mistake really.”
“But I know you have never kissed a boy before. Did you enjoy it?” said Dawn.
“It was nice for sure, but I have nothing to compare it with. I have never dated a boy or a girl for that matter.”
“I can’t believe that,” said Rebecca. “19 years old and looking as good as you do and you have never been on a date.”
I realized this was my time to tell the story about me being a tomboy like I told Connie and Caroline, so I told them.
“See here,” I showed them a picture on my iPhone. “This is of how I used to dress when I was a nerd or a tomboy as some would call it.”
“Sometime we would call her beautiful boy and refer to her as him. She just didn’t care,” said Dawn catching on really quickly.
“Amazing,” said Rebecca. “So what made you want to dress like a normal girl?”
“Well some boys that I had met told me that they thought I was a boy. I had always thought of myself as a girl and those words hurt me, so I decided to become the girl that my family wanted me to be.”
“And you have never dated?”
“Not once,” I said and Dawn shook her head in agreement.
At that time Dylan came down with the breakfast and it was delicious. The sausage with sage seasoning was excellent and it wasn’t a bit fatty so Dawn had no opportunity to complain.
The breakfast went well and Dawn and Rebecca exchanged phone numbers so they could both keep tabs on me.
After we ate Dylan and I apologized that this was actually a business meeting to discuss me playing here in the evenings. Dawn understood and said nothing, while Rebecca was an interested party who listened but did not contribute.
Dylan asked me to play Thursdays and Sundays for $200 per night with an extra bonus if we got over 80 people per night. Those days were the ones that suited me best. It allowed me to home on the weekend and have days during the week to study.
I asked about Fiona and he said that it was $200 per night for the act. One or 2 people is irrelevant. But if the two person act brings in more than 80 people then the bonus would be the reason to do it.
He also told me that my food etc, was free any day that I was playing. Staff privileges he called it. He said I brightened up the place anyway. I thanked him.
We shook on it, then we all realized that the day was hurrying along without us. It was hugs all round. Rebecca asked me to text her. Dawn and I walked back to the apartment.
I showed Dawn the apartment, but she really only wanted to hug me and apologize. We sat on my bed together and she held both of my hands.
“I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming,” she said. “When I did that stupid things debasing myself in front of you I thought your reaction was a typical boy and everything just confirmed the boy story.”
“But you are thinking of an either or scenario Dawn. It’s more complicated than that. I was born with boy bits and have boy hormones floating around in me. Those part reacted like you expected, but that was just the boy in me.”
“Other parts of me think like a girl and that part of me just turns off when the boy thing is happening.”
“So now I feel like I was adding to your conflict every time I pulled one of those stupid stunts.” Dawns head dropped again. I felt like she was going to cry again.
“You didn’t know that Dawn. Now that you know I am conflicted I know you won’t do it again.”
“I am so god dam sorry Leslie, I really am,” said Dawn holding my hands even firmer.
“Dawn please don’t go overboard with this. You didn’t know this was happening. I am not sure I knew it was happening till now. I want us all to go forward with this and not get caught up with the past.”
“So how are you going to tell Mom and Dad? If it would help I could talk to them.”
“I feel like it’s my job to tell them but I am sure I can’t just present myself for inspection looking like this. They would have a fit.”
“Then let me tell them Leslie and you can come up at the weekend and they can see you looking your best.”
“That makes it sound too simple Dawn.”
“But if I do this for you them maybe I can spare you from the initial scene and when they see you they will have had time to let it sink in. You would be able to have a more meaningful discussion with them.”
“That would be a lot better than just showing up in a dress with a damn the consequence attitude. At least I would be spared their initial shock but they wouldn’t.”
“Please let me do that for you,” said Dawn. “I feel it’s the least I can do.”
“OK,” I said. “But tell me when it’s going to happen so I can sit by the phone and wait for the call I am sure I will get.”
“So where does Rebecca fit into this?” Dawn asked.
“To tell you the truth I don’t really know. She has been so kind and helpful to me. From the first moment we met she has acted like my best friend, but it’s not as simple as that.”
“So give me the whole story,” said Dawn.
“To put it bluntly,” I said, “I am attracted to her and I think she is attracted to me.”
“I can understand you being attracted to her because of your boy bits and I see that she is quite stunning, but how come you think she is attracted to you?”
“Because of the things she says and the way she says them. But she kissed my hand twice.”
“That sounds really weird.”
“Yeh I know. Last night I went to say good night after the show and while we were in private she kissed the palm of my hand. I went weak at the knees.”
“My goodness,” said dawn, “that kind of signal is usually positive and unmistakable. Do you think she is lesbian and wants you? The girl you that is”
“That’s all I can think of.”
“Then I go and tell her that you kissed a boy last night.”
“I noticed. I didn’t know how that was going to play out.”
“So what about the boy,” asked Dawn.
“After taking to Fiona last night, I think it was just me experimenting. I wanted to find out what it was like to kiss a boy.”
“So what was it like?”
“It was heavenly, but I have never been kissed before. Now that I reflect on how I feel about it, I realize that I am just messed up right now and whatever I feel is hormones and a reaction to the sensation of someone’s lips on mine.”
“I am so amazed that you are so calm and analytical towards these huge life changing things that are happening to you. The first time I seriously kissed a boy I was like in a zombie state with my hands out in front of me shouting ‘give me more, give me more’.”
We both laughed about that.
“I was like that for about half an hour,” I told Dawn, “but then Fiona burst my bubble and explained the hormone overload.”
“How mean,” said Dawn, “at least she could have given you a day to bask in the glow!”
“Yes but she reminded me that I was still actually a boy kissing another boy, and he thought I was a girl. If he found out things could get ugly in a hurry.”
“I never thought of that,” she said. “So where does that leave you and what will you do about him?”
“Well she is obviously right. Before I kiss anyone else I need to tell them who I am.”
“So are you going to tell him?”
“No possible way.” I said. “I am not ready for that, but I have to tell him I can’t see him anymore.”
“But he is in your class. You will probably have to see him every day.”
“Since when has life been easy?” I asked.
I explained to Dawn that I had to go do my college stuff. She understood and she told me that she was a lot more comfortable now than when she arrived, but she was still very apologetic.
I don’t think I had ever felt more connected with my sister Dawn before. Shame it had to be a ’family emergency’ for it to come out.
So Dawn got herself together and fixed her make-up again before giving me more hugs. I watched her from the driveway as she drove away. I knew she was always an emotional girl and she would probably cry all the way home.
I texted Fiona about the gig at the Coffee Hutch tomorrow and she said she would be there. Then I texted her to thank her for telling Dawn and she said ‘you’re welcome’. I thought it should have been more of an apology.
Then I emailed Dawn to ask her not to tell Mom and Dad till Thursday night or Friday morning and I would make my way home after class Friday after school, maybe 7pm. I didn’t know if she could handle that but I guess I would find out.
Then I texted Rebecca to say I was going to the college book store to get my books and my pre-assignment that had been sitting in the registration office since Friday when I forgot to pick it up.
Rebecca said she had run out of time and wouldn’t be able to see me till this evening.
I told her I have to do my pre assignment before my first class tomorrow morning at 9am so I didn’t know if I would make it out of the apartment.
She said she would see me tomorrow.
‘Bummer’ I thought to myself. I guess this is when the real work of college begins.
I got into the Honda and drove over to the college bookstore because I was guessing my books could be heavy. I knew there were places I could get used books and last year’s editions etc. but I had a credit card from my dad and he could afford it.
I searched around the bookstore and found all of my books. This is going to be easier than I thought. I had been told stories about not having books in stock and having to find them on line and such but I was lucky.
I went to the pay for the books and the lady totaled it up. Nearly $650 in books. They were so heavy that I knew I would have to take them to the car in two loads. I handed her my credit card.
“Can I have your ID,” she said. I gave her my student card.
“I can’t take that,” she said. “I need something government issued.”
I hadn’t thought of that. I was not just going to give her my driver’s license because it said male. I knew I didn’t have $650 left in my own account because I had spent too much money on clothes.
I didn’t know what to do and was having problems thinking straight. This bookstore was beginning to feel like an unfriendly alien environment. I decided to leave.
“I will have to get back to you,” I said and went to walk out.
“You can’t leave those here; you have to put them back.”
Now I was angry. I gritted my teeth and went back to pick the books up off the counter, and look who was standing by the counter but Lawrence. Just what I didn’t need.
“Can I help you with those,” said Lawrence. “Do you need them taken to your car?”
“No,” I said with just a twinge of frustration in my voice. “I have to put them back.”
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“My credit card wouldn’t work.”
“I only needed to see your driver’s license,” said the woman behind the counter.
“Why won’t you show her your driver’s license Leslie?”
“Because I don’t have it with me.” By now I was raising my voice.
I tried to pick the books up and Lawrence tried to reach for them. I tried to pull away from him but the top book flew off and hit the floor.
The woman from the counter was over like a shot.
“If you have damaged any of the then you will have to pay for them,” she said.
The one that I dropped had damage on the corners.
“But you won’t take my credit card.” I snapped at her.
“It’s not my fault you don’t carry your drivers license. You are supposed to carry ID by law.”
‘Fucking ID’ I thought to myself. Why didn’t I think of ID? I needed to get past this and get my pre-assignment competed. Then I realized that my debit must have some cash left on it.
“You don’t need ID for debit do you?”
“No.” She said.
“So I will take this one I damaged.” A Friendly Introduction to Number Theory, J.H. Silverman. Not my favorite subject but it was on the list. Then I looked for the algebra book which was my pre assignment. Linear Algebra and Its Applications, David C. Lay. “And I will take this one.” Damn it that one was heavy. I put the two books down in front of her and handed her my debit card.
She wasn’t pleased to help me but I was in a stinking mood now.
She offered me the machine and I paid. Then I tried to leave with my books. I bounced open the door and started to run up the steps.
“Hey hold up Leslie, wait for me,” said Lawrence from behind me.
I turned to Lawrence and said “I’m sorry Lawrence but I don’t have time for you right now.”
He said. “But what about last night, I thought we had something special.”
Then I said out loud, “It was a mistake Lawrence, just a big mistake.” Then I could feel I was going to burst out in tears and so I ran away from him.
I got in my car and just drove away. He was standing there just where I left him, looking at me with his mouth open, arms out wide and his palms facing me. I didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop.
When you see me walk on by
Did it ever make you cry?
You’re my favorite mistake
Sheryl Crow
Starting College my way. Chapter 7.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 7.
Another girl. Tuesday September 10th Midday.
I didn’t know that I could be a cruel and heartless bitch until I drove away from Lawrence without feeling anything for him. My anger and embarrassment at not being able to use my credit card was no excuse, even if I only had boys ID. I am sure that I would pay for my actions one way or another.
I drove back to the apartment because I wanted somewhere to escape to, but as soon as I got there realized that hiding was not going to get me anywhere, and it was not going to get my pre-assignment completed.
I was a little calmer now than I had been at the bookstore, so I drove over to the dean of admissions registration office to pick up my pre-assignment. I parked; walked into the office, flashed my student card, picked up the pre assignment envelope and left.
There were people everywhere, but I did not try to recognize anyone because I did not want to stop and explain myself. I didn’t want to risk bursting into tears which I felt I could at any moment.
I have never felt so alone in a crowd of people before.
I got back to the apartment and took my books into my room. There was no one at home. I threw my shoes off and sat up on my bed, wrapped my arms around my knees, buried my head in my own lap and tried to figure out what I must do.
I had no money left in my bank account and I couldn’t use my credit card without ID. Sure I could use my credit card at Wal-Mart or Target because they were set up differently. But at the College bookstore I needed ID.
Dylan owed me $100 but he promised to pay me on Thursday. I needed another $300 worth of books before then.
I couldn’t ask Dad or Mom because they would have to send money through a bank and electronic deposits normally take 2 or 3 days.
Dawn would do anything for me right now but she was probably not home yet from seeing me this morning.
The only person who was in a position to help me was Fiona. She was the closest; she had her own credit card and ID. She was the only person who could get the books for me when I needed them. There was no one else I felt I could ask.
I texted Fiona and told her I couldn’t pay for my books without ID and asked her if she can come over here and by my books for me, and to phone me for an explanation. I knew that she probably had classes so she wouldn’t reply straight away.
I was right. No reply in 15 minutes. I couldn’t just sit here and stew about my predicament so I started reading my pre assignment.
It was not easy to concentrate as I continued to replay my poor behavior in the bookstore and the way I treated Lawrence over and over. Nothing changed. I was still a heartless bitch.
I felt very alone. I didn’t think that my feeling alone was a direct result of my choice to become a girl but probably just an indirect result, but this would not have happened if I had been a boy.
After turning things over in my head I determined that if I had chosen to remain a boy I would probably be alone for different reasons, and I probably would not have had anywhere near as much fun.
At this point the need to complete my pre-assignment overcame my mini depression and I started work.
I moved over to the desk and worked continuously for maybe two hours before my stomach reminded me that food was required. I went to get a glass of water and some munchies from the kitchen. While I was munching MJ came in.
MJ was not the person I wanted to talk to at this time, so we exchanged pleasantries and she went into her room. Then she came out.
“Leslie, something tells me that you are not in the same happy mood you were in yesterday. Are you OK?” she asked. I didn’t immediately make up my mind to speak to her so she asked again.
“You can talk to me you know. I am an understanding sole and my shield of abrasive resistance is down right now and I can assure you that I am a friend,” she said.
She had taken a position standing next to me and we were both leaning against the kitchen cabinets just watching the floor tiles remain static.
“I discovered the bad tempered heartless bitch side of me today!” I said. I told MJ what happened about the credit card and my boys ID and my empty bank account.
“That makes things complicated,” she said. “How are you going to pay for your books?”
“I am hoping that Fiona can come over and help me out,” I said.
“Is that all,” she said. “But that doesn’t make you a heartless bitch.”
It’s true that MJ was not the person I wanted to discuss this with, but she was here and I needed someone to speak to. So I opened up to her.
“MJ remember last night when you told me to make up my mind on what I wanted and just go for it?”
“Yes,” she said. “And I still think that was good advice. You can’t sit on the fence and be both. You have to be one or the other.”
“I understand the sentiment behind your words but it is just not as easy as you think. For one my driver’s license does not agree with you.”
“Well get it changed. That’s not an insurmountable object.”
“That is not half of it. Last night I kissed Lawrence.”
“Good for you,” said MJ. “Now you are making serious strides forward. That is one of the things that girls are expected to do. Don’t you think that is progress?”
“I understand that you are trying to encourage me in my desire to change my life, but I am still a boy.”
“But you don’t look or act like a boy. Your real self is not a boy and in your heart I am certain there is a girl in there.”
“But don’t you see that doesn’t count MJ. Last night I kissed a man who believed he was kissing a girl. That is deceitful. If I told him that I am a girl I would be lying.”
“I may feel like a girl and act like a girl, but below the waist I have boy parts and if he finds out I could be in serious trouble.”
“I gave you bad advice didn’t I?” said MJ.
“It was advice that I wanted to hear and wanted to believe was true. I was the one that went out and kissed him.”
“Did anything happen?” she asked.
“Just kissing and stuff, but last night and this morning I have been talking to my sisters and they made me realize that if I was going to kiss anyone, that person needs to know who or what they are kissing.”
“I guess they are right. I am sorry Leslie. I have heard that speech given to a couple of my friends, but it always in the context of one girl wanting to kiss another,” said MJ. “Now that it is presented as a boy in a dress kissing another boy doesn’t work the same.”
“I am sorry Leslie,” she said as she held my hand.
“It was me who did the kissing MJ. I wasn’t so drunk that I couldn’t figure it out myself. It’s just that I was so single minded in my desire to kiss him.”
“So are you going to tell him?”
“Tempting but no.” I said. “There are already too many people who know about my status and the list is growing. I don’t want anyone else from the student body to know.”
Then I told her about him knocking the book from my hands while he was trying to help me, and outside where I told him it was all a big mistake.
“Bummer!” she said.
“So the only people I can kiss are the people that know about me being a boy underneath.”
“Well you have to tell everyone eventually Leslie.”
“But why MJ? Why do you want me to tell everyone that I am a freak who looks like a girl but has boy part below the waist?”
“But surely you will get a sex change and then everything will be OK.”
“Please don’t put me in that box MJ. Right now I am wearing girl’s clothes and really enjoying it, but I have only committed myself to one year of college and I have definitely no thoughts of surgery.”
“But I thought every transgendered woman had the goal of becoming a complete woman,” said MJ.
“Hold on MJ. You are going way overboard with this,” I said. “Right now what you see before you is a boy in a dress. These descriptions you are using like transgendered and sex change are not part of my vocabulary. I enjoy wearing a dress, but I haven’t thought any further than that.”
“So you are not transgendered?” she asked.
“MJ I am not sure what the real definition of transgendered is. You are probably the first person I have ever discussed this with. If it helps the woman in the bra shop the other day said I have woman’s breasts.”
That caught MJ by surprise. “Um, can you explain that?” she said.
“I can try, but I don’t know what it means. Fiona took me into a store that caters for women who are flat chested or have had breast surgery. The assistant there told me I am not flat chested like a boy but I have some breast tissue and I have woman’s nipples.”
“Can I see,” said MJ.
“No.”
“But that is really weird!”
“Is that comment designed to make me feel better MJ?”
“I am sorry Leslie but I have never heard of that before. Usually the people I meet are just people who believe that should have been born in the other sex. But you sound like you may be physically already part way between the sexes.”
“Yes I agree MJ. It is another wrinkle in the cloth, but I don’t know what it means. I have not spoken to a doctor about any of this but it is obvious that I should, as soon as I can make some time in my schedule.”
“Look,” said MJ, “remember when I said I could take you to a club for people like us. I was talking about is an LGBT club that’s not to very far from here. They often have counselors there to help people. How about if I take you tomorrow?”
“OK but what does LGBT stand for?”
“You really don’t know?” she asked.
“MJ you really need to understand something about me. I really don’t know. I have been enjoying wearing dresses in the comfort of my own home. Apart from that I know nothing about what other people do. Gay lesbian whatever. I really didn’t think I had anything to do with them.”
“Well you do now Leslie. Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered. I suppose if you are not a regular heterosexual then you are with us. The club we go to is called the Rainbow Club. That’s not its real name, but that is what we call. It is the closest LGBT tolerant club I know on this side of the river, however there are bunches of them in Philly.”
“If you have time, we could go tomorrow evening. There is no cover on a Wednesday and there are fewer trannies and no karaoke during the week.”
“What do you mean karaoke?”
“You don’t have to worry about that, but on Thursday, Friday, Saturday the cross dressers and trannies have a kind of karaoke where they dress up in outrageous clothes and mime to famous women’s songs. It can be really funny. Some of the women I go with get up and sing butch guys songs just to join in.”
“But I would have to be really careful with you if we went on those nights Leslie.”
“But why?” I asked. “I have no interest in doing that at all!”
“But Leslie you would be one of the most desirable people in the place.”
“But why MJ. What have I got that is so special?”
“Leslie you can do what many cross dressers can never do. You pass. You are a boy that looks like a totally believable girl and very pretty girl. If they found out you would be an absolute superstar.”
“You think you get hit on a lot as a girl. Wait till those people see you as a boy in a dress. They would be all over you. You may not get out in one piece.”
“If we go tomorrow I suggest you dress as a boy. You will look like one of us and no one will bother you. If you want some attention then go in a dress and tell everyone you are a boy.”
“But MJ I still don’t understand why.”
“Because Leslie, people will not just see you as a boy in a dress. They will also see you as a beautiful woman with a penis. For many trannies, gays and many straight men you will be one of the most desirable creatures they have ever seen. They will go crazy for you.”
“I had no idea,” I said.
“If you really want sex with a man, then you will find many willing men there who will help you. And they will be lining up for the chance.”
“I don’t know if I want that MJ. That would be gay sex and I am not into that.”
“Leslie, please make your mind up. Yesterday you were kissing Lawrence and you told me you enjoyed it. You said you could feel his penis against your stomach and it excited you.”
“But when I kissed Lawrence I was doing so as a girl. The girl in me wanted to kiss Lawrence.”
“Leslie, are you one person or are you a schizophrenic with multiple personalities because I don’t sense that. You have various facets to your personality yes but it’s only you Leslie. You are the one driving the bus. There is only one Leslie.”
“I am totally screwed up MJ. I didn’t know about most of this stuff and I don’t know how to react to it. Yes I agree that there is only one of me but I am torn about what I want to be and what to tell people.”
“OK Leslie. Let’s think about how you identify yourself. Can you describe what you are first?”
“So getting over the fact that I am wearing a dress. I am a boy. I am a boy who likes wearing dresses but I can’t say I am a girl.”
“So are you a boy who likes the illusion of being a girl Leslie?”
“I don’t like that description. I am not an illusionist MJ. I am a boy who likes to feel like a girl. I am a boy who feels more comfortable being a girl.”
“Leslie, I know I started this but I don’t think I should finish this conversation. You need to be talking to a counselor who is knowledgeable on this subject. I have already given you bad advice once. I don’t want to do it again.”
“I would like to take you to the rainbow club tomorrow and let you talk to some people who know what they are talking about. Can we do that Leslie? Will you come with me?”
“But you seem like you know a lot more about this that me MJ.”
“Yes I know Leslie but I have just started my second year. Right now I know enough to make me dangerous. You need to talk to someone qualified.”
“OK MJ I will go with you. But you said I can’t go in a dress as a girl.”
“I guess I shouldn’t have said that either. If you go dressed as a normal girl you may look a little out of place, but that’s because the other people there generally look a little different.”
“The problem is not with you but with everyone else. You look like such a normal girl. We don’t normally get gay women who look as normal as you do but sometimes we do.”
“My remarks about trannies, gays and straight people desiring you were also over the top with hints of stereotyping too. One thing important to any of the people I have ever met at the rainbow club is that they will all respect you.”
“You may get hit on, but if you say ‘no I am not interested’ or ‘I don’t do that’ they will back off. You generally do not find an overabundance of testosterone at the rainbow. So wear a dress, and just to support you I will wear one too.”
“Would you wear a dress for me MJ?” I asked.
“Yes I will. I think I have one or two somewhere.”
I hugged MJ and went back to my room and Fiona called.
“So what is this nonsense about not being able to get your books because you have boys ID?” said Fiona.
“I can’t” I said. “I don’t look like the boy on my driver’s license and they could call the police.”
“But Leslie,” said Fiona. “Have you thrown away all of your boy’s clothes. And is your make-up permanently etched into your skin?”
“No,” I said guessing what was coming next.
“Then go wash your hair and don’t comb it after it’s dry, clean off all your make-up and put some of your regular boys clothes and go get your books.”
Well silly old me. I was so hung up on being a girl that I forgot that I am still a boy.
“I am sorry Fiona,” I said. “Sometimes I am not as smart as I think I am.”
“No kidding!” said Fiona.
“I guess I deserved that,” I said.
“Well this has been nice Leslie but I have to eat something then go to a rehearsal.”
“I’m jealous.” I said. “Why didn’t I take music?”
“Because you don’t like Brahms and you don’t like cello. See you tomorrow at 8:30 Leslie. And don’t ever forget that I love you.” She hung up. I love you too I said after she hung up.
Even though I was nowhere near as messed up as I could have been, I had still managed to leave myself in a bit of a pickle. The college bookstore was now closed for the evening and I had a class in the morning starting at the same time as the bookstore opened.
I would need to purchase the calculus book for my second class which was after lunch, so it looked like I would have to come back from class in the morning, get changed and get my books, come back here and get changed again then go to my afternoon class. I didn’t have time for all that.
Or, I could go to the morning’s class with only a little make-up, then at lunchtime wash my face and put boy’s clothes over my girl’s clothes to buy the books then take off the boys clothes and put some more make-up on. The biggest problem with this was where to change.
Or I could just make thing easy on myself and lie about why I didn’t have the calculus book. I didn’t feel comfortable with lying to a lecturer so I would have to be plan B.
The rest of my evening was filled with completing my pre-assignment and eating our evening meal. MJ had prepared a nice meal of chicken in some kind of gravy with peppers and onion with boiled potatoes and a Greek salad. Quite nice actually.
I did tell the girls about the scene with Lawrence. I had to tell it twice because the first time I told the story without mentioning the credit card and my boys ID, I just sounded like a totally unfeeling bitch telling a nice boy to pound sand for no reason.
When I told the story for the second time, including the part about needing ID and getting upset about the damaged book, I only sounded like an angry bitch who took out her frustrations on an innocent person, Lawrence. Not a big improvement.
I don’t think the girls were too impressed with me. Conversation stopped pretty quickly after dinner and we just drifted to our separate rooms. I finished my pre-assignment then had a little time to practice my guitar and went to bed early.
Wednesday September 11th.
I woke before the alarm and immediately continued planning my lunchtime assault on the bookstore. I know that sounds a little overdramatic but it’s so stupid that a seemingly benign activity like getting a book from a bookstore can seem so complicated, but I have to make gender changes either side of my bookstore appearance.
My plan was to drive my car this morning and park it around the side of the book store. I would leave my change of clothes inside which would include a baggy sweater, baggy cargo shorts and flip flops. I would leave my Algebra class at noon, grab a quick bite to eat at the cafeteria, visit the powder room to remover my make-up, walk over to my car at the bookstore and change into boys attire, get my books and return to the car and put my girls clothes back on, remembering to put make-up on and get back to my Introduction to Analysis class at 1:30.
I decided to modify my girl’s clothing to suit my plan. Bra with small breast inserts. No corset. A dress that could be removed over the head without a zipper, but I didn’t have one. The only one suitable had a side zipper so it would have to do.
Fortunately the Honda had dark smoked windows so I didn’t think anyone could see in and I was confident I could find a spot in the shade to park so the car would not be too hot.
I showered and dried my hair with a towel and just used a brush point things in the right direction. It looked a little messy but it had to do the job of both boys and girls hair. I added minimal make-up and headed into the kitchen. MJ was at the kitchen table eating cereal and Carla was standing drinking coffee while starring out of the kitchen window.
We did the ‘good morning and how are you today just fine’ thing then I got some cereal and sat down to eat. MJ was the first to enter into conversation.
“Are you losing interest in this being a girl thing already Leslie?” said MJ.
“I am trying to do as little as I can to look feminine without having to look perfect,” I said. “I am hoping that the dress does most of the work.”
Carla looked over. “Bit of a come down from Monday night Leslie,” she said, then she returned to looking out of the window.
“I have been telling people that I do not want boyfriends or relationships, but that doesn’t agree with the way I am dressed,” I said. “I think perfect make-up and hair encourages boys to think I am interested.”
They heard what I said but didn’t respond.
“What’s going on outside Carla?” I asked.
“Road works down on the corner near the Coffee Hutch,” said Carla. “There is a hole in the road but the road is not blocked and it looks like the sidewalk is OK.”
Conversation did not continue further so I packed up my books and my Ipad for notes then packed a separate bag with my boy things and headed down the stairs. I got in my car and drove down the road.
Once outside the Coffee Hutch I had to avoid the big hole in the road, but there was a whole bunch nice men clad in orange and yellow stripes guiding me around the mayhem. I parked under a nice big tree at the side of the bookstore and headed across the parking lot towards the main entrance, through the main building and out across the courtyard to the Washington Wing and the Woodrow Wilson hall.
So this was it, my first day in class at university. Not quite what I had expected. I certainly never expected to be attending college in a dress.
I sat half way up the room I the center. I was twenty minutes early. The room was arranged like a conventional class room with 16, 4 person tables and therefore 64 maximum in the class. There were 3 large video monitors at the business end of the room and one more on each side.
All of the desks had multiple power and internet connections and the main screens showed ‘blackboard’ website addresses for the course. A note below the main address stated that the presentation content could be directly downloaded and it gave a second address. The Wi-Fi code for this area was shown along the bottom of the screen.
‘Why the hell do I bother attending class?’ I thought to myself.
I wasn’t long before some familiar faces started arriving. Connie and Caroline saw me and came to sit at my table. We didn’t speak about anything in particular, mainly because anything anyone said seemed to carry easily across the room so anyone could hear.
Lawrence came in with Vic and sat somewhere behind us. They didn’t acknowledge me. Maybe I would get a ‘bitch’ label and people would avoid me.
With 5 minutes to go the lecturer came in and placed his things on the desk at the front. He was a large roundish man maybe in his 40s wearing a grey suit, white tie and with a clean shaven head. He had the only desk that had its own monitor. With what seemed to be every place in the room filled the lecturer walked over and closed the door then stood in front of the class looking out upon us all.
“Good morning and welcome to Mt Laurel University of New Jersey. I trust you have all taken advantage of our many orientation classes and are fully equipped and prepared to start learning. I will now begin that process.”
“This is course M51 An introduction to Linear Algebra and its Application. I am Professor Alan Ball.”
We then got into the math. I am assuming that readers of this story won’t be interested in the actual math so I won’t go into it. But if any of you are, please send me a private email and I will send you a link to the course material.
I of course had half my brain concentrating on the class and the other going over my book procurement exploit at lunch time. I think I had it all covered but it didn’t help to go over it again.
The pre-assignment was used to asses our knowledge of the subject and we marked our own papers under the lecturers guidance and the end of the lecture, and with about 5 minutes remaining we all filed to the front to hand in the pre-assignments and meet Professor Ball.
After shaking the Professors hand I was off, girl on a mission to get the rest of my books. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, no approval required and I certainly didn’t want anyone with me.
I went around the north side of the main building to the cafeteria area and located Little Caesar’s Pizza. I was one of the first in line so had no delays here. One slice of pepperoni and a coke was all I needed then headed back around the north side of the main building, pizza and coke in hand, and west end of the building and the Dean of Admissions office. I don’t know if anyone from my class was following me but I saw no reason why they should.
At the west end of the main building I turned the corner and stopped to finish my pizza and coke, wiped my hands and put the garbage in the garbage can, then dodged into the east door near the Dean of Admissions office where I had seen a access enhanced washroom. There I could clean off my make-up without attracting attention. That completed I left the main building and headed across the parking lot to the bookstore and my car.
Part one completed I was at my car, but there was a parking notice on it telling me that these places were 1 hour maximum spaces and after lunchtime today a parking fine of $25 dollars would be enforced. OK I thought because I wasn’t going to stay more than a few minutes.
The car was also bathed in bright sunlight as the sun had moved around during the day, but I wouldn’t be in there long. Shouldn’t take me more than a minute to change.
I got in the back seat of the car, checking that no one was around and immediately pulled my dress over my head. Pulled my sweater on, it was getting hot in here, then pulled on my cargo shorts followed by flip flops and out of the oven of the car. Got my wallet out of my purse and headed into the bookstore.
It was easy to find the books I needed as I had already found them once yesterday. I collected the ones I needed and brought them over to the counter. It was the same lady as yesterday.
“Didn’t you try to buy these books yesterday?” asked the lady at the counter.
“No not me,” I said. “But my twin sister is also at this college. I am getting the books for her.”
She took my credit card and driver’s license and gave them a thorough inspection.
“She looked a lot like you, and this looks like the same credit card. Can I see your student card?”
“Excuse me but I am only buying books. You don’t need to see my student card.” My student card did not denote gender and I looked pretty much the same on it as I do now, but I wasn’t going to cave in to her requests if I didn’t have to.
“But the girl who tried to buy these same books yesterday looked exactly like you and tried to use this credit card. In fact I think it is you.”
“Look, does my card work and does it agree with my driver’s license. We are identical twins and sometimes we use each other’s stuff,” I said trying to be as matter of fact as I could. If she pushed any further I would not know how to react.
She ran the card through the visa machine and the receipt came spluttering out of the end. She handed me the receipt, but I know she didn’t like it.
“Identical twins!” she said with a kind of disbelieving look on her face. There’s something about that woman that starts my blood boiling and I don’t know what it is. I just smiled, picked up my books, cards and receipt and headed out of the door.
As I walked up the steps and back towards the car I saw what I perceived to be a security guard hovering around my car. He looked like he was going to fill out another parking ticket. Now I was already a little angered by the lady in the bookstore. I didn’t need any more crap.
“Excuse me,” I said. “That is my car!”
He stopped writing and turned to me. “This car has been here all morning so you will have to move it. We give the new students half a day’s grace before start ticketing and your time is up.”
“I will move it now then!” Now my plan had an additional step. I wasn’t expecting to have to move my car.
“Please do,” said the security man. “There is plenty of parking in the main students parking area and you are young and strong enough to walk that far. This parking is reserved for the bookstore and the Dean of Admissions office.”
‘Cranky old buzzard’ I wanted to say to him, but he still had a book of parking tickets in his hand. He made way for me to get into the driver’s seat so I got in, placed my books on the passenger seat and started the car.
When I looked up who should be standing next to him but Lawrence with a book in a College Logo plastic bag.
He was looking straight at me from right in front of the car. I kind of waved to him feeling rather stupid because I had boy’s clothes on and no make-up. He waved back and made his way to the car window. I wound the window down.
“Are you OK?” he asked, obviously checking out the scene, my lack of make-up and my boy’s clothes.
“I’m fine,” I said, trying to act like there was nothing wrong with wearing a dress then and make-up in class then looking like a boy during lunch break.
“You look kind of different, in fact you look like another girl altogether.” he said looking bemused by my appearance.
“I like to mix things up,” I said. “We don’t have to wear the same old boring stuff all of the time do we?”
“Look can we talk?” he asked, obviously not wanting to talk about my appearance.
“OK I have a minute but I have to move the car.”
“Can I get in?” he asked.
“No Lawrence. Look I like you but I can’t have a boyfriend. I have been saying that I didn’t want a boyfriend all along, then before I even get to my first class I stumble into you. It’s not going to happen.” I was almost shouting because I wanted to make sure he heard me against the traffic in the main road behind.
He had put his books down and was bending over leaning against my driver’s door. “But I really like you and I thought you liked me!”
“Yes Lawrence I think you are a nice person and I am sorry about yesterday but I can’t have a boyfriend.”
“But can’t we still be friends?” he asked. “We have a lot in common and I think you will enjoy having me around.”
“But you can’t go hitting on me and trying to kiss me. I find you attractive but I can’t have a boyfriend Lawrence I just can’t. If you find that difficult to live with that then you will have to leave me alone and find some other friends.”
“I suppose I will have to take what I can get,” he said.
“But no trying to kiss me,” I said. Totally stupid thing to say because as he was right there almost inside the car at face level and it took all of my will power not grab his head and pull him inside the car.
I had to get out of there before I kissed him again and regretted it again. I put the car into gear and bumped the clutch.
“Sorry Lawrence I’ve got to go,” I said as he jumped back. “See you in class.” I said as I moved slowly past him. I hope I didn’t run over his toes or his books. I don’t think he said anything as I was leaving.
I drove away from the college towards the Coffee Hutch and Swedes Road but when I got there the road was completely closed and a whole squadron of workmen wearing yellow and orange stripes were standing around a big hole watching someone working.
I took a quick left and a right trying to parallel Swedes Road and find the other end, but after a few minutes I realized that I was wasting time and getting nowhere, so I turned around and headed back. I was concerned now because my plan was totally screwed up I had only half an hour to get changed again and get back for my next class.
I parked around the corner from the Coffee Hutch and walked the rest of the way down the road. I shouted to the guys watching the excavation.
“Hey do you guys know when you will be finished?” I shouted from the walkway that was still open.
They all looked over and one of them shouted back. “We are not sure because there is an awful lot of work to do. We should be able to provide access by maybe 5pm.”
I thought about asking them if more than one of them working at a time might improve their performance, but thought better of it.
I got into the apartment and threw off my sweater, shorts and flip flops then proceeded to the bathroom to put some make-up on and improve the mess that was my hair. While I was at it I placed my larger breast enhancers in and put my corset on.
Here I was again, beginning to enjoy putting girl’s clothes on in an empty apartment with all of my girly clothes and the clothes of 3 other girls right next door with no one around. I could find this predicament most enjoyable in other circumstances, but I was in a rush to get back to school and get to my next class and had no time to enjoy it.
I put on my dress on, picked up my back pack and headed to class. I had a feeling I was going to be late but there is only so much a girl can do in 90 minutes.
I walked on down the road but stopped when I got to the big hole in the road. All of the people standing above the whole just looked at me. I shouted down the hole.
“Hey big guy!” He stopped what he was doing, turned around and looked at me.
I said, “Do any of these guys ever get in the hole and help you?”
He just shook his head. I looked back at the squadron with my arms wide open. They looked at me but nobody moved. I turned and walked towards the school.
I got to the Grover Cleveland Hall about 4 minutes late. The door was closed but the sign on it still read Math 101 Introduction to Analysis. Professor Lisa McClelland. Just what I didn’t need. I wondered; would she would try to embarrass me today?
I walked in and looked for a friendly face. I didn’t see one close by, so I located a row that no one else had occupied and headed for it.
The room turned quiet as made my way to my seat. Professor McClelland waited till she had everyone’s attention before she spoke.
“Glad you could join us Miss Haigt!”
It was a mundane opening, but it did put her on the offensive. I didn’t know if I should reply or not. I decided to be polite.
“Good afternoon Professor McClelland,” I replied.
“Please stand up when you address the room miss Haigt,” she said. So I stood up.
“Can you tell us the importance of being on time for my lectures Miss Haigt?”
“Tardiness wastes the valuable time of the other class members Miss.”
“Very true! And are there any other risks that a person may take when entering my classes late Miss Haigt?”
“Yes Miss,” I replied. “A person may run the risk of being embarrassed by you upon entrance to the room.”
“Are you embarrassed Miss Haigt?” she asked. I had a choice to make here. I was not at all embarrassed but if I told her that, it may seem like a challenge.
“Yes Miss.” I lied.
“Good,” she said. “Now please tell us why you chose today to be late for my class?”
Not a bad question but I kind of expected it. “I didn’t choose today to be late Miss, but a series of things that I did not plan for contributed to my having to move my car from the Dean of Admissions parking area and returning it to my apartment, but I was not aware that the road to my apartment was blocked by road works.
The resulting effort to find a way to my apartment from another direction resulted in my tardiness, for which I sincerely apologize Miss.”
“How unfortunate for you,” she said. She wasn’t going to make herself popular with me by making that kind of remark.
“Thank you Miss Haigt and can you please inform the class what steps you will take to remove the likelihood of you wasting their time in the future.”
‘Oh that was a good one.’ I thought to myself. The first challenging question she had asked in our exchanges so far. I had to scramble for an answer.
“I will endeavor plan my activities with greater detail and certainly try not to pack in too much into an already short lunch period Miss.”
“An already short lunch period Miss Haigt. How much food do you eat?”
OK so she got one good lick in that I couldn’t answer but I didn’t feel too badly beaten.
She had hardly embarrassed me at all but I am sure neither of us was concerned by the exchange. We got on with the class and my mind often wondered off thinking what the Rainbow Club would be like. It wouldn’t be too long before I found out.
She's sweeter than all the girls and I've met quite a few.
Nobody in all the world can Do what she can do.
And so I'm telling you this time you better stop
For I have got another girl,
Another girl
The Beatles
Starting College my way. Chapter 8.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way.Chapter 8.
Blow me one last kiss. Wednesday afternoon September 11th.
Flat top McClelland’s class went off without anything else interesting happening, but as soon as the class was over Connie and Caroline wanted to talk to me about the show on Monday.
We walked towards the cafeteria and grabbed a table near the Bistro. We had a half hour break before our 4:30 Geometry class so we may as well get a snack or something.
“What happened to you Leslie,” asked Connie. “We haven’t seen you and we don’t have your number.”
“I thought we had exchanged numbers. I’m sorry Connie but I had things to do. Anyway, what happened to you two? Did you enjoy the show?” I asked.
“We did,” said Caroline. “You were amazing. All of the men couldn’t keep their eyes off you. What did Lawrence do, or should I say what did you do with Lawrence?”
“Listen girl’s I want this to stay between us.” I tempered myself with the understanding that if I said anything to them it could be all around the college by tomorrow. “Yes I did kiss him. He is very sweet and I could get a crush on him if I am not careful, but I can’t date him.”
“What, why?” They both wanted to interrupt at the same time so I cut them off.
“Because he is gorgeous and handsome and all of the things that would make me want to concentrate on him instead of my work. I am here to get a math degree.”
“But just dating him won’t hurt you. No one said you have to become his sex slave or anything,” said Connie.
“But I can’t lose control Connie. After 10 minutes in his arms I became a helpless heap of incoherent jelly. The following morning I realized that I can’t allow that to happen to me. He is an experience man and I feel like a little child in his arms.”
“Have you told him this?” asked Caroline.
“We have spoken a couple of times since.” I told them. “I told him we can be friends but he is not allowed to hit on me or try to kiss me or I won’t let him near me.”
“That sounds cruel,” said Connie. “He is going to see you in class every day knowing that you like each other but he can’t touch you.”
“I think that is being honest and upfront. I can’t let hormones run my life. But let’s not my hormones dominate the conversation. What have you two been up to?”
“Well Vic walked us both back to our rooms after your show. “
“Cool,” I said. “Any kissing going on?”
“Well we dropped me off first and Vic took Connie back to hers.”
“Nothing happened,” said Connie. “He is sweet but I could never see myself with a big dorky white guy.”
“He is not dorky,” I said. “And what is wrong with being white?”
“Well he is just so different,” said Connie. “I can’t imagine him and my Dad standing together for a photograph. I just think of two opposing magnets. You try to push them together but they just want to push each other away. Vic is so white and my Dad is so black.”
“You have been putting some serious thought into this I can see,” said Caroline. “I thought you said you were not interested.”
“But he is the only guy I have spoken to that I could be remotely interested in,” said Connie. “And he is the only guy who has spoken to me nicely so far.”
“There will be plenty of others,” I said. “What about you Caroline. “Find anyone interesting yet?”
“Well I spoke to Dave and Jesus at lunch time here in the Cafeteria. Dave is OK but he smokes so he will never get anywhere with me?” she said sternly. “Jesus is an interesting guy and offered to take me dancing, and I find that really interesting.”
“That Salsa dancing sounds really cool and sexy,” I said. Connie agreed.
“My Dad goes ballroom and Salsa dancing back home,” she said. ‘He says it’s a great way to meet people. He says that the younger generations are missing something when we don’t have slow dances and hold each other in our arms.”
“How does he go Ballroom and Salsa dancing on his own?” I asked.
“Well he joined a dancing club and puts his name down on the list as a single male looking for a partner describing what level he is at any what type of stuff he likes to do.”
“Sounds like a swingers club to me!” I said. “Does he ever stay out late when he does this?”
“That’s mean Leslie. I always think of him as too old for that type of thing.”
“That is not mean at all,” I told her. “Remember Brad Pitt is 49 and George Clooney is 52. Would you like to swing with them?”
“They are both older than my Dad. Isn’t that creepy?” She said.
“I have made it with guys in their 40’s,” said Connie. “Well one guy actually. Living on an air force base there are lots of fit young men around just waiting for the opportunity to meet women.”
“So you just took advantage of one did you?” I asked.
“I was very flattered when this big strong muscle bound well-mannered man came after me,” said Connie. “All he did was ask me about myself, tell me I was attractive and look into my eyes while I was talking. I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t know he was the same age as my Dad until later. I hope my Dad never finds out. They know each other.”
“Oh you brazen hussy!” I added.
“What’s a brazen hussy?” said Caroline.
“Look it up on Google,” I said. “Some of the explanations can be really funny.”
“So do you have any plans for tonight Leslie?” said Connie. “Providing we don’t get and assignments we have to complete by tomorrow.”
“I am going out with a friend of mine from the apartment. I can’t invite anyone because I don’t know what she has planned.”
I didn’t want to lie further to them but I couldn’t complicate things by having them there too.
“You guys should come over to the Coffee Hutch again tomorrow as Fiona and I are playing.”
“Are you going to eat there first?” said Caroline.
“You know that is a good idea, because me and Fiona get free food on days that we play. Tomorrow is my turn to cook at the apartment but I will see what I can arrange. Do you have my number?” I asked.
They didn’t so we exchanged numbers. While I had my phone out I texted Fiona about coming to the Coffee Hutch at 7pm a for free dinner.
We left the cafeteria and I stopped in the powder room on the way past but Lawrence was waiting for me when I got outside.
“Leslie,” he was asking while we were walking. “I hope you don’t mind me being curious but this morning you looked really pretty with make-up and everything and again this afternoon, but when I saw you at lunchtime you looked different. No make-up and a sweater. It there something I am missing?”
“Probably,” I replied. “But I have no intention of telling you what it is. It’s my business.”
“Your business to what?”
Fortunately there was not enough time for him to develop his line of questioning further before we got to the next classroom. He did sit next to me in class though. Although we didn’t talk through the class, except as required by the class.
I get the feeling that he was spending a lot of time trying to figure that one out. I also spent some considerable time trying to come up with a believable lie to cover it, but I couldn’t. It was a preposterous situation. The only reasonable answer was the truth, and I was not prepared for that yet.
As soon as the class was over Lawrence was politely after me again.
“But Leslie, there isn’t one single plausible reason that I can come up with for you to do what you did at lunchtime, change you appearance, go to the bookstore, then change back again.”
I had had enough of this already and I had to put a stop to it. I grabbed hold of his shirt and stopped him I looked right into his face.
“Lawrence I am not going to allow you to continually question me about my personal business that has nothing to do with you. I may decide to tell you some time or I may not, so drop it now or I may never let you speak to me again.”
“Can I walk you to your apartment?” he asked.
“Who says I am going to my apartment?”
“So can I walk you wherever you are going?”
“Yes, provided you don’t try to hit on me, kiss me or ask me any questions about lunchtime.”
“So where are you going?”
“To my apartment.”
“I am not upsetting you am I,” he asked.
“Just a little, but I don’t mind tolerating you because you are a nice person and I like the company.”
“So are you doing anything interesting tonight?” he asked.
“I am going out with my friend MJ,” I replied.
“Isn’t she the butch one?”
“She appears that way but she has been hurt before and doesn’t want to conform to the same old female stereotypes.”
“So are you saying she is not really butch?”
“I am undecided about that, except to say that although she has a wicked sense of humor and an abrasive outer shield, but sometimes she can be very sweet and sensitive, once you get to know her.”
“So you like her?”
“Yes she is a friend.”
“Have you kissed her yet?” he asked.
I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at him.
“What on earth are you doing Lawrence?” I asked him. “Are you trying to piss me off?”
“I am trying to find out who you are.”
“Right now this is who I am Lawrence. That’s all I can offer you.”
“So who were you at lunch time?”
“That is enough Lawrence. I can’t give you anything else. I told you I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want these questions. If you can’t accept that then leave me along. I can walk by myself.”
I took off and started walking. I thought I had left him behind but after a few seconds he caught up. We walked in silence for a little while till I asked him a question.
“So why do you want to hang around with me anyway?”
“I have never met a girl anything like you. You seem like this immovable force that can do anything. I know you are only small but you seem to dominate any space you are in and every conversation everywhere you go and you just light up every room.”
‘Goodness above’ I thought. This sounds like hero worship. Was he falling in love with me? We had only met 3 days ago.
“You can’t have me Lawrence and I think that the longer I allow you to spend time around me it’s going to get worse. I thing you need go find another girlfriend and get over me.”
“I don’t want to get over you.”
“Why can’t you go and talk to Caroline. I know she said she likes you. She would make a great girlfriend for you and she wouldn’t run away when you kiss her.”
“But I don’t want her I want you.”
“Lawrence you have a crush. Its caused but the hormone imbalance that all young people like us have in us and we made it worse when we kissed. I discussed it with my sisters and they explained the hormone thing to me and that helped me get through it.”
“You mean you felt it too?”
“I can’t take this any more Lawrence. You are causing a conflict in me that I don’t want to address. I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want to discuss it so please just leave me alone.”
I turned on my heels and turned away from him. I don’t think he was following. I just kept on going.
Yes it was hard for me, but I had to sort myself out. Now that I knew he had gone I could start crying but the last thing I needed right now was a helpless puppy to look after no matter how sweet he was.
The sun was going down now and the nights were drawing in but the streetlights had yet to come on. There was just a little coolness in the air that I could feel on by bare arms. I would have to wear a jacket this evening.
As I got the Coffee Hutch there were a group of people outside the door talking. I didn’t look over but as I went past I heard Rebecca’s Voice.
“Leslie hold up.”
I turned and she came over to me. She could see I was upset.
“Whatever is the matter Leslie?” she asked.
“Boy trouble.”
“But I didn’t think you had a boyfriend.”
“I don’t,” I said. “But there is this one guy who has been really nice to me and I made the mistake of kissing him.”
“That’s the one that your sister Dawn mentioned?”
“Yes. He has obviously got a crush on me.”
“Do you like him?”
“He is nice enough but I have told him that I don’t want a boyfriend and I don’t want to kiss boys.”
Then she leaned over and kissed me deeply on the lips. I was shocked. It was not just a friendly peck. It was delicious but it just didn’t last long enough.
“But you don’t mind kissing me?” said Rebecca.
“Oh I would much rather be kissing you!” I said.
“So what are you doing tonight?”
“MJ wants to take me to the Rainbow Club. I said I would go and meet a couple of her friends.”
“Pity,” she said. “So I will have to wait till tomorrow to see you.”
“Sorry Rebecca. I will have to wait too,” I said.
“So when you are at the Rainbow Club you are going to get hit on you know.”
“So I have been told.”
“Just tell them you’re not interested. Tell them you have a girlfriend.”
“Uhh OK,” I said.
Then she held up her hand to my face for a moment and looked into my eyes, and went back to the people at the door.
I wanted to stand and look at her for a moment but there were too many people around. I walked down the road towards the apartment.
She had kissed me on the lips. I know it was getting dark but the people outside the restaurant must have seen us. Then she said tell them you have a girlfriend. That was it. She definitely wanted me. That couldn’t be explained away as being nice or over friendly.
She was my girlfriend. I was shocked. Why the hell was I going to spend the evening with MJ when I could have been with Rebecca? But it was too late now. I wasn’t going back on my plans now.
As I got to the apartment Rebecca texted me to tell me we had a meeting of the dramatic society tomorrow lunch time. I didn’t know where I was going to have time for all of these extra-curricular activities I seemed to be acquiring.
I got into the apartment and found the girls getting ready to eat hamburger and spinach salad.
“What no fries?” I said.
“Fries go straight to your waistline,” said Angie.
“Come on Angie,” I said. “Don’t tell me you have ever had problems with your waistline.”
“I don’t want to ever start,” said Angie. “My Mom taught me that as we get into our twenties our bodies start adjusting and before we know it we can start to add pounds. One day you wake up to find you have a roll of fat hanging over the waist of your favorite jeans.”
“Oh God,” I said. “Now I have to start worrying about my weight?”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Angie. “Just be aware of it.”
“I am aware that a second hamburger would go down pretty good right about now,” said MJ.
“One is all you get MJ,” said Angie. “Load up on that beautiful fresh Spinach.”
“Don’t let it worry you Leslie,” said MJ. “We can get some wings at the Rainbow Club.”
“Cool,” I said. “Then I won’t go hungry for long.”
“Why do I bother?” said Angie.
“So how long will it take you to get ready Leslie?”
“Oh about 5 minutes after I have finished eating,” I said. “You are not going out dresses like that are you?”
MJs tee shirt today said. ‘To save time just pretend I have balls.’
“No I will keep my promise. I found a dress I can wear,” said MJ. “It will take me 10 or 15 minutes to get ready. I have to remember how these things work.”
“What’s happening with you Carla,” I asked. “You are kind of quiet.”
“I am wondering what goes on at a rainbow club,” said Carla.
“Why don’t you came with us and find out?”
“I don’t want to go to a place were a bunch of guys hang out dressed like showgirls and singing Celine Deon song.”
“I am told that doesn’t happen till the weekend,” I said. “Why don’t you just come with us and check it out? We will all feel safer in a crowd.”
“OK for sure, I will get ready. What about you Angie?’
“No you can tell me all about it. Maybe I will go some other time.”
So we got ready and I did my favorite thing of adding leggings under my dress and added my short denim jacket. Carla was wearing jeans and a low cut black tank top that showed up how much shape she really had, and boy did she have some shape. Now we were just waiting for MJ.
Then this girl came out of MJs room that we didn’t hardly recognize. MJ was wearing a short grey leather skirt well above the knee with a soft blue layered low cut top and she was wearing make-up and looking pretty sharp, even though she had no shoes.
“Well look at you,” said Carla. “There is a girl under there after all.”
“You look pretty MJ,” I said. I could have said she looked hot because she did, but I chose not to say it. “What brought this on?”
“I just wanted to show you guts that I can look good too if I want to. You know I do feel a little peeved at times when the three good looking girls in this apartment include a boy and not me.”
“OK MJ we will consider ourselves corrected,” said Carla.
“You can’t be jealous of me MJ?” I said. “We knew you were good looking all along.”
“Thank you Leslie. I am not jealous but I do have my pride. But I have a problem with this outfit that I need help with. I don’t have shoes I can wear with a skirt. Even I know not to wear my normal skateboard shoes.”
“If you like these gladiator shoes I have another pair in a six,” I said.
“Sold,” said MJ.
I got the shoes for MJ and we headed down the stairs, on to the street and into MJs car.
----------------------------------------
I think I’ve finally had enough,
I think I maybe think too much
I think this might be it for us
Blow me one last kiss
You think I’m just too serious,
I think you’re full of shit
My head is spinning so
Blow me one last kiss
Starting College my way. Chapter 9.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 9.
Let’s hear it for the boy. Wednesday evening September 11th.
-------------------
So we headed for the Rainbow club. Carla sitting next to MJ who was driving and me in the back. Didn’t take us long, but we were still a little shell shocked when got there because MJ liked playing Pink at full volume. Not a bad sound system for an old minivan.
The Rainbow Club was attached to what used to be a Howard Johnsons or something similar. The big restaurant that was attached to the motel had been divided off from the motel that was still there, but obviously without a restaurant. The entrance was around the side and not very visible from the road but the entrance was well lit when we got to it. Of course there were rainbow flags hanging above the doors.
Near the front door was an area with booths and tables. In the center ahead of us was a bar area that looked like it used to be a coffee bar and behind that there was an open area with a stage at the rear, not being used right now. There was some pop must playing in the background. Ke$ha I think.
MJ took us over to the bar and introduced us to Davey who manages the bar most nights. He was an ordinary looking guy in his 40s with a beard and wearing glasses. To me ordinary was a surprise as I didn’t know what to expect in a LGBT friendly club. I thought people would be somehow different but everyone I was just normal. We got some drinks, cokes and stuff that is, and drifted over to the area where the booths are.
There were some hoots and hollers where some of the people in the booths was us.
“Look what they have done with MJ,” someone shouted.
“That’s not MJ its Katy Perry,” said another.
“Quit it you gorillas,” said MJ. “A girl can look attractive if she wants to can’t she? I am giving support to my two friends here who don’t want to be the only people who look normal.
“But we look normal don’t we,” said one of the girls in the booth nearest to us.
They did all look normal to me anyway. They were all different in their own way. They were different sizes and shapes.
So what is normal anyway? Some people wear odd colors in their hair, tattoos and piercings. This is normal. All the people here looked like the other college kids I was going to class with. None of them were wearing dresses or low cut tops like us but apart from that there was no difference.
“That’s my fault,” said MJ. “I was telling them about the trannies who come at the weekends and I guess I got carried away with the descriptions. Some people have strange ideas about LGBT clubs and I added fuel to the fire by saying they were going to get hit on and stuff.”
“You’re the one who is going to get hit on wearing those clothes MJ,” said a tallish (taller than me) good looking blond guy with pale clear skin who stood up and came over to us and gave MJ a hug.
“Hi Paul,” said MJ. “I am going to introduce my two friends from College then you can all introduce yourselves.”
“This is Carla who is the girl I have been sharing the apartment for the last year.” Carla waved and Paul shook her hand.
“And this is Leslie who has just moved into our apartment.”
“Do you want to come sit with us?” said Paul. “The girls here have filled up their booths so unless you want to sit in a booth on your own, you will be welcome at our table.”
“Cool said MJ.” So we followed Paul into the booth. There was already a big guy sitting at one entrance to the booth and he didn’t look like it was easy for him to get in and out, so he stayed put. We got in first Paul then MJ, me then Carla.
“This is Bob, another friend of ours,” We did the intro thing. Bob was a big round-faced guy who couldn’t be here for the cross dressing that was obvious.
“So what brings you girls here tonight? There’s usually not much goes on here Wednesdays,” said Paul.
“Leslie here wanted to come speak to some of the people here about their experiences and stuff.”
“And what kind of experiences are you interested in Leslie?” said Paul.
“Cross dressing in particular and maybe transgender.”
“So what subject are you taking Leslie?” asked Paul.
“Mathematics,” I said.
It became obvious to me that MJ was holding herself back from saying anything but she obviously wanted me to say it.
“I am sorry Leslie but I am having difficulty understanding what why a pretty young girl studying math at college would be interested in talking to cross-dressers enough to visit an LGBT club.”
“I have my reasons,” I said.
“But if you want to talk to me about cross dressing then I want to understand why?”
“So you are a cross-dresser then?”
“Yes I am and so is Bob, but why should we speak to you about it? I am not going to tell some stranger who walks in off the street my life story just because they said they were interested in cross dressers.”
There goes my theory about Bob not being a cross-dresser.
Now Bob spoke for the first time. “Why notPaul?” said Bob. “You have told your life story to lots of people who were interested without knowing anything about them. That is how we met if I remember.”
“And if I remember,” said Paul. “You were wearing a dress at that time and you sounded a lot friendlier than you do now.”
“So were you,” said Bob. “You were telling your life story to anyone who would listen that night. 2 glasses of wine and you can’t shut her up,” he said turning to us and using a noticeable gay inclination to his words.
“That’s different,” said Paul. “I was in with a group of like-minded people who share the same interests.”
“Like wearing dresses?” I asked.
“Sure,” he said. “Like wearing dresses.”
“Well I like wearing dresses too,” I said.
“But that’s different. You’re a girl,” he said.
“What makes think that?”
“Don’t mess with, me you are obviously a girl.”
The ‘girl’ side of the table were all noticeable smiling in anticipation now.
“MJ,” I said. “How many girls are there sat at this table?’
“Two,” she said, starting to giggle.
“Will all the girl’s at this table please put your hand up?” I said, leaving my hands down.
Carla and MJ waved their hands.
“You are kidding aren’t you,” said Paul and then sat there with him hands on his cheeks and his mouth open.
“Oh my god,” said Bob. “You look amazing. You look just like a regular good looking girl. How on earth do you manage that?”
“I just look like this.” I said. “I got my hair done, put on some make-up and put on a dress.”
“You make me so jealous,” said Bob. “Paul can pass pretty good but I have to work for hours to make myself look the slightest bit feminine.”
“So did you just decide to dress and come see what this club was about?” said Paul.
“Oh you won’t believe this.” Said MJ. “She came to our apartment dressed in pants and a jacket looking for an apartment. Of course our apartment is women’s only. Leslie didn’t know that. We thought she was a girl.”
“You mean she was dressed as a boy and you thought she was a girl you mean.”
“You bet. We thought she just dressed badly or she was a little butch, but she was actually just a boy come to the wrong apartment.”
“Why was it the wrong apartment?” said Bob.
“Because it’s a girl’s only building and Leslie is a boy,” said Carla.
“They thought I was a girl because normally the college will only send girl’s to girl’s apartment buildings, and I thought ‘this is cool. I am going to share an apartment with 3 girls’,” I said. I explained the suitcase full of clothes, the call from the dean of admissions and the whole story.
“Cool,” said Bob. “So now you get to share an apartment with 3 girls and they let you dress up and they go out with you?”
“Oh no,” said Carla. “I am not letting a boy stay in my apartment to leave dirty dishes in the sink and leave the toilet seat up. We have Leslie staying with us.”
“But Leslie is a boy,” said Bob.
“Not while she stays with us she isn’t,” said Carla. “Leslie is a girl, goes to college as a girl and everything else.”
“You mean you are living as a full time girl,” asked Paul.
“You bet. It’s fabulous. I can wear dresses every day. I just love being a girl.”
“So what’s all the noise at this table,” said this young woman with shortish black hair with dark red streaks arranged over her eyes and very dark make-up. She was wearing black leather. She hadn’t been there when we came in.
“Hey Annie,” said MJ. “Meet two of my friends from college. This is Carla and this is Leslie. Can you guess which one is the boy?”
Annie was quite taken aback and it took her a moment to answer. She had to give us both a good looking over.
“All I can suggest is that one of you has a chest area that can’t be faked, but apart from that I would not know how to tell.”
“Are you referring to my tits?” said Carla.
“OK I will be more direct,” said Annie. “Those tits have got to be real so this one over here has to be the boy.”
“Give the girl a stuffed animal,” said MH. “Right first time.”
“You look amazing. There is no way I would have suggested you could be a boy without you telling me.” Said Annie.
“Look, can you girls let Annie in?” said Paul. “She is my girlfriend and wants to sit by me.”
“I don’t need to sit by you. I will sit by Carla and these terrific tits,” said Annie.
“I can’t believe how you just look like a regular girl,” said Annie to me. “Most of the cross-dressers around here have to work quite hard to look like a girl. They usually wear clothes and make-up to make themselves stand out.”
“But I go to college like this so I can’t stand out. I have to look normal,” I said.
“So you are almost full time as a girl. So you must be transitioning?”
“No. I only started doing this on Sunday. It was a surprise to me too.”
I had to explain the story again from the beginning.
“So you never cross-dressed before this week,” said Annie.
“No that is not true,” I told her. “My sisters used to dress me in girls clothes when I was little and right up till I was 8 or 9, I loved it, and then after that I used to dress up in their clothes when they weren’t looking, but they told me they knew all along.”
“But what about now?” said Paul. “You are a boy, but every day you go to school as a girl. You can’t believe how jealous that make me feel. All through my teens I would hide myself away. My Dad would never accept me wanting to be a girl and my Mom didn’t help me. She just didn’t tell Dad about me dressing and stuff.”
“Paul struggles with wanting to be a girl every day,” said Annie. “He just isn’t prepared to split himself off from his family because his Dad has said he would not accept it.”
“My family doesn’t know yet. Well my closest sister Fiona knows. We are just like identical twins although she is older by about a year. My sister Dawn I told yesterday. I agreed to let her tell my Mom and Dad before I go home on Friday. My Mom and Dad and my other sister Barbara don’t know yet.”
“So what do you think they will say?”
“I know I am lucky that my family loves me and I have no doubts about that, but what they will say is anyone’s guess. I expect my Mom to cry because that is what she does. Happy or sad she just cries. My Dad is a cool dude but who can say how he will react to his only son becoming a girl.”
“They had some forewarning. Fiona tells me that they visited doctors to discuss my wearing girl’s clothes but the doctor told them I would find a way to tell them if I wanted to become a girl. My problem is that I didn’t find out myself till this week that I really wanted to be a girl, so if I didn’t know I couldn’t tell them.”
“At least they knew when you were younger that you liked dressing so it’s not a complete surprise?”
“No I don’t think it’s a surprise,” I said. “Just an adjustment. We have other family and friends who might find it hard to take but I doubt it. My Mom and Dad’s friends are mostly musicians with a few real estate agents thrown in. I don’t remember any homophobia.”
“Homophobia is difficult to predict,” said Bob. “You may think you know someone for years and think they are a friend, but just mention cross dressing or being gay tolerant and become different people. My brother and I have a hard time speaking now because he has seen me dressed and didn’t like it.”
Paul grabbed Bob’s arm as a sign of friendship as non of the girls could reach him across the table.
“So have you told the college,” asked Annie.
“Well there is the thing. During this apartment mix-up the dean’s office called because that thought Leslie should have been a boy but they saw our apartment registration showing Leslie as a girl. We assured the Dean’s office that she was a girl because of the girl’s clothes that we found in her room.”
“But you would think they would check with your old school,” said Paul.
“Maybe they will,” I said. “I will just have to deal with that later.”
“How come you say most of you Mom and Dad’s friends are musician?” said Paul.
“We are all musicians in my family,” I said.” “We all play at least one instrument and we jam together on Saturday nights.”
“So that instrument do you play Leslie?”
“I play guitar, why?”
“Because I just happen to have a couple of guitars with me,” said Paul.
“Do you want to play?”
“Sure I do. Let’s go!”
“We got up and the group of us went to the other room where the stage was. We all got up and there just happened to be a set of drums that Bob got behind, an electric guitar and amp (I am guessing a Mexican black top telecaster HH in white) and an acoustic guitar case that Paul pulled a Yamaha FGX700SC from. It was a cheap Yamaha but cheap Yamaha’s can sound pretty good from my experience. I picked it up and Paul plugged me into the PA.
“We can’t have it too loud but the boss doesn’t mind us playing provided we play songs and don’t make it sound too much like a practice.”
So we discussed what to play and settled with Neil Young’s ‘Down by the river’ because it was easy to jam to.
Paul started the chords on his Tele then Bob and I joined in. Once I got going Paul played some of the lead riffs and then he sang the first verse and chorus. I sand harmony for the chorus.
Be on my side,
I'll be on your side,
There is no reason
For you to hide
It's so hard for me
Staying here all alone
When you could be
Taking me for a ride.
Yeah, she could drag me
Over the rainbow,
Send me away
Down by the river
I shot my baby
Down by the river,
Dead, oh, shot her dead.
After we just jammed for about five minutes which is pretty much what Neil Young does. The words seem secondary to the jamming on a few of Neil Young’s songs. We took turns playing lead and had a good old time. Them we did the verse and chorus again before finishing with another couple of minutes jam.
Paul then asked me to pick something so I picked the ‘Every little thing she does is magic’ by The Police, which has a more distinct formula to it and didn’t leave much time to jam, but we had fun. I played chords all the way through and Paul was able to add some nice riffs. I sang the whole thing but Paul joined in the singing at the end.
We played for an hour and the boss came over and offered us some drinks. I told him I was under age but somehow a glass of wine managed to find its way to me and a couple of beer went Paul and Bob’s way.
We started with the stage curtains closed but someone opened them in the middle of the first song. There were normally no chairs right in front of the stage but a few people had brought chairs down to the stage to listen. We didn’t have it loud but you could hear us all over the club.
After that we played for another half an hour before Carla started making noises about getting back. It was 11pm, but before we finished we played some stuff that people could dance to and had a few people dancing.
We packed up the stuff and closed the curtains then moved over to the bar area. Davey the manager put the recorded music back on and groups of people were talking. Carla didn’t want to stay any long so she got a cab back to the apartment.
MJ got busy talking to her friends and I got talking to people at the bar. They were all very friendly. There was one guy who was paying me a lot of attention. He was obviously in his twenties, a little taller than me but I was wearing heels. He had longish black slightly wavy hair over his ears and touching his shoulders at the back. It was shinny but not greasy. He was clean shaven and smelled of musk aftershave. He was wearing a dark long sleeved dress shirt and jeans.
We talked about music and after a while I noticed that other people we had been talking to had moved away.
“You are very attractive you know!” he said kind of out of the blue.
“Thank you,” I said. “You look pretty nice too.”
“You want to get out of here?” he said.
“Not so fast,” I said. “I didn’t come here to get laid.”
“So if you did get laid it would be a bonus then?” he said.
“We haven’t met yet. My name is Leslie.”
“My name id Eden,” he said then he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Very nice to meet you and I really enjoyed your music,” he said.
“You know I am a boy?” I said.
“Yes,” he said. “So am I. Does that bother you?”
“It doesn’t bother me that you are a boy no. But I am new to this.”
“How new” he asked.
“Like I have never dated a boy, new.”
“That is really new. I would be very gentle with you and you would have a really good time.”
“I don’t even know if I am gay,” I said.
“Give me five minutes in the back of my car and we will both find out if you are gay.”
“Tempting offer but I am not ready for this. Sometime soon I may be but not right now.”
“Can I kiss you?” he asked.
“Kissing is as far as I can go right now,” I said. “But it will have to be right here in the bar. I am not going outside with you.”
He grabbed my hand and made me stand facing him then he placed his other hand around my waist and pulled me towards him a little.
This was going to different to kissing Lawrence by about a million miles. Kissing Lawrence was an innocent girl kisses boy for the first time kind of a kiss. This was a lot different.
I knew that he knew that I was a boy and he still wanted me, and I knew he could have me if I just walked outside with him. I didn’t move and he was staring me right in the eyes. I was now going to let a boy kiss me.
I wasn’t 100% sure I knew what I was doing and because he hadn’t kissed me yet I decided that I should pull away, then in the instant of that thought, he pulled me to him and kissed me and I returned the kiss. He tasted good and clean with just a little whisky on his breath. There was just a hint of electricity and wave of pleasure radiated from my mouth through my body and settled in my lower parts.
This was a real kiss with intent to have sex. His tongue was all over mine bringing me ripples of pleasure radiating down my spine. He had one hand in the middle of my lower back pressing me into him, the other was between my but cheeks trying to excite me more. I felt a serious erection growing. Mine that is.
It took all my willpower to pull away, but I did.
It took him a moment to catch his breath then he said. “That was beautiful, but you are definitely gay. If you were just curious you would never let me do that. So you have never kissed a boy before?” he asked.
“I didn’t say that. I have kissed a boy before, but he thought I was a girl. I realized I couldn’t do that because it was deception. You are the first boy I have kissed that knew I was a boy.”
“I feel honored. Can we do it again?”
I didn’t answer so he took that as a yes. He put his hand back around my waist and kissed me deeply and his tongue touched mine, but then I felt his other hand reach around the front of my skirt between my legs. He got a definite feel of what he was looking for before I could pull back and push his hand away.
When he stepped back he was smiling. “I am sorry for that,” he said. “But I had to know if you were a real boy. You just look so much like a normal girl and you even kiss like a girl. I hope I didn’t offend you. If it was a massive misjudgment on my part I am sorry.”
“Surely you didn’t need to do that. You must have met many people here who can easily pass a woman, what makes me so different?”
“It’s your style. No one I know would ever come here wearing the clothes that you are wearing trying to look like the sweet young women that you do. They all seem to want to look darker or older. Some of them like to look positively trashy and others want to look like showgirls. I have never seen anyone pull off the sweet innocent look like you quite so well.”
“Maybe I should wear something a little different next time I come here?”
“You could, but you would still be sexy as hell I bet.”
“So when do you normally come in here?” I asked.
“I don’t have a set time or day. I certainly don’t normally come in here on Wednesdays, but tonight I guess I am just lucky. If you wanted me meet me here we could make a date.”
“No I am not ready for that, but thanks for the offer. I can’t plan too far ahead myself, but I had fun tonight and maybe I could come here again next week.”
“Then maybe I might come here next week too and maybe I might see you here.”
“That might sound like a plan,” I said. Then I kissed him again, but only briefly. He turned and left.
I walked from the bar over to the booths were MJ was sitting with her friends.
“So what was that about Leslie? He was all over you. Has your true nature finally come out?” asked MJ.
“I don’t exactly know what it was about,” I said. “He wanted to kiss me and I wanted to find out what it was like to kiss a boy who knew I was a boy.”
“He wanted to do a lot more, we could tell. So why did you stop there?”
“MJ we have talked about this. He wanted real sex. Boy on boy. I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“How can you not know Leslie? He had his hands in places that made me embarrassed, but you didn’t stop him.”
“But sex with a boy involves penetration. I know that much MJ. Who should be penetrating who and what does it feel like. I don’t know these things and while the invite was tempting, I didn’t have a clue what I would do when I got there.”
“Well those things I can’t help you with Leslie. My experiences with men were not the best moments of my life and even if they were I doubt they would be of much use to you. You should probably watch some gay sex videos or something.”
“But sex videos are not real life MJ. They are entertainment only.”
Well maybe you should read some gay literature or something, or better you find a nice boy and try it out. Eden seems to be a nice enough guy, but he doesn’t seem to have long term relationships. He seems to have a thing with someone for a short time then moves on to someone else.”
“That’s not the kind of relationship I want MJ. I would want something more permanent.”
“I didn’t think you wanted any kind of relationship. But he may be just waiting to meet the right person. You may be the other half of his dreams. And how do you know unless you try?”
“I am not even prepared to try it out right now. I have to get my head straight and figure out what I want. I promised to spend some time with Rebecca tomorrow. We might have something going on, I am not sure.”
“Bi-sexual they call it. Making it with both sexes.”
“Well actually that would make me no sexual right now MJ. I haven’t had sex with anyone remember.”
The conversation went a little quiet after that remark. I think MJ was considering something.
“You were mentioning I might meet a councilor here tonight,” I reminded her. “Is there someone here I can talk to?”
“Not tonight Leslie, but I did get you the card of someone you can call and make an appointment, and there is a hotline you can call and chat.” She gave me the card and I put it away.
We made up our minds that it was time to go. It was nearly midnight. Not that we thought that was particularly late but we just didn’t have a reason to stay.
We got into the car and sat in the front. I buckled myself in and I waited for MJ to start the car, but she didn’t.
“Leslie,” she said. I turned towards her. It wasn’t totally dark as we were lit by the lights from the front of the club.
“Have you ever thought about kissing me?”
“I am sorry MJ but it never occurred to me. Why do you ask?”
I don’t know why I lied at that moment because all evening I had been noticing how kissable she looked.
“Well I know that you have now kissed a boy who thought you were a girl, and you have kissed a boy who knows you are a boy but you have never kissed a girl who knows you are a boy. I just thought I would give you the offer.”
“Why are you asking me this MJ? I didn’t think you liked boys.”
“I don’t normally,” said MJ. “I think most boys are assholes, but if there has ever been a boy that I wanted to kiss, it would be you. I find you wildly attractive.”
“I am shocked MJ,” I said. “But I don’t know if this is a good idea. You know about all of the other things going on in my life right now.”
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea either, I only know that you are the only boy that I have really been attracted to like forever. Nobody else would need to know.”
“But I would know MJ. I am hoping to develop a relationship with Rebecca.”
“But you were kissing Eden tonight. Why can’t you kiss me? I won’t tell anyone. I won’t make it obvious. I won’t even look at you back at the apartment. You can trust me.”
“It’s not a case of trusting you MJ. I have been kissing far too many people. I am totally confused right now. I want to let you kiss me but I know I shouldn’t.”
With that MJ made her move across the division between the seats and planted herself on me before I could stop her. I guess she missed the ‘I know I shouldn’t’ bit. I was surprised by the beauty of her kiss. It was so different than any kiss that I have had before, that I couldn’t push her away.
She tasted really good but the experience was much sweeter than kissing a boy, but also less menacing and less frightening than kissing a boy, but no less exciting or arousing! I guess she had one knee on the floor and her leg was on my lap. Unfortunately being locked into the seatbelt stopped me from enjoying it more.
She pulled herself away from me and sat on the edge of her chair as near to me as she could.
“I am sorry I guess that was not the most comfortable position to choose,” she said, “but how was it?
“It was nice,” I said.
“Just nice,” she said. Is that all just nice?”
“It was wonderful MJ and I really enjoyed it.”
“That makes me feel better,” she said. “I am sorry to throw myself at you but I am glad you let me kiss you.”
“I couldn’t move. You let me buckle myself in before you jumped me!”
“I am sorry Leslie, but I have wanted to kiss you since yesterday. You seem so honest and straightforward, and you look so dam good.”
“So where do we go from here MJ?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “Maybe we should just go back to the apartment, get some sleep and see how we feel in the morning? I won’t make a fuss or tell anyone. I will just pretend that it never happened.”
We straightened ourselves out and MJ started driving.
“Was I any good?” She asked almost joking as she said it.
“I certainly enjoyed kissing you MJ, but don’t ask me to pass an opinion so soon. You are the first girl I have ever kissed. Were you thinking of me as a girl when you were kissing me.”
“I was thinking of you as Leslie,” said MJ, “I know what you are. You are a boy in a dress and a beautiful boy too. I was not thinking of anything but you. Will you let me kiss you again some time?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “Don’t you think this could get a little awkward with the other Carla and Angie?”
“Then we had best not tell them,” said MJ. “What they don’t know won’t hurt them, and I can keep a secret if you can.”
I didn’t answer that. It didn’t take long to get back. We walked up the stairs in silence. The others were apparently in bed. I went to go to the bathroom and she reached for my hand and squeezed it.
“Goodnight Leslie.” She said. I said goodnight back to her and went into the bathroom.
After I came out of the bathroom I got in bed and found myself feeling very tired. I wanted to think about everything that had happened but couldn’t and I drifted off to sleep, but I don’t get to fall asleep.
I hardly noticed her quietly entering the room as MJ slid quietly under the sheets besides me then put her arms around me and pulled me close to her.
“MJ you can’t do this,” I said but she didn’t back away. She climbed on top of me and kissed me. I knew I should have stopped her but I have trouble resisting when the temptation was so great, and the physical contact with her was massively welcome.
Her kiss this time was wonderfully gentle and delicate. She had climbed right on top of me with her legs either side of me. I put my arms around her to find she was wearing a T shirt and panties. I was wearing a nighty and panties and I had taken my corset off for the night.
I opened my mouth wider and slid my tongue further into her mouth to make contact with her tongue. She started making little pleasure noises so I had to stop her. I didn’t want the others to know.
As the momentum was broken momentarily she sat up upon me and pulled off her T shirt, then resumed kissing me. Her perky little breast resting on my chest and her arms were around my head. I wrapped my arms around her. She had an exquisite shape with a narrow waist and a hard body. Who would have known under all those T shirts she normally wore.
Before I understood what was happening she slid her hand between us and took hold of my semi erect penis which swelled to full capacity with her touch. I felt a pain of pleasure that I had never before experienced. No one had ever touched me there before. I couldn’t concentrate on kissing any more.
I was totally incapacitated like being shocked with a Taser. While holding on to my penis she started sliding down by body kissing me as she went. She pulled up my nightgown so she could find some skin to kiss.
I knew I should stop her, but I was at same time unwilling to resist. She lay across me now with her head resting on my stomach and her left arm was wrapped around my left leg while her right hand continued to work on my penis.
This was not going to a long drawn out encounter as I could feel pressure building within me. MJ’s head descended to envelop my penis and she started to massage the end with her tongue and lips. A few seconds were more than I could stand. I exploded into her mouth with multiple spasms that left me totally out of control. MJ remained still and consumed everything.
She continued licking and cleaning me with her tongue and mouth for a number of seconds but the pain of the pleasure became too great to handle. I had to stop her.
I had to pull away from her and curl up like a ball as I continued with waves of sensation like electricity running through my body. MJ just curled up with me and said nothing.
I remember nothing more till the middle of the night waking at the need to relieve myself. As I sat up MJ pulled me back enough for her to kiss me on the neck then she let me go. When I returned from the bathroom she had gone.
I woke in the morning alone in my bed. I couldn’t help thinking. ‘What the hell have I done now?’
Let's hear it for the boy
Aaaah, let's give the boy a hand
Let's hear it for my baby
You know you gotta understand
Oh-oh-oh, maybe he's no Romeo
But he's my loving one-man show
Whooa, whooa, whooa-oh
Let's hear it for the boy
DENIECE WILLIAMS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7FGbhpr2pg
Starting College my way. Chapter 10.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 10.
Little black submarines. Thursday September 12th
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I woke up in bed on my own after having sex with another person for the first time in my life, but I was certainly not expecting my first sexual partner to be MJ. MJ had shocked me by looking so attractive when we went out last night, then kissing me in the car while still in the parking lot and blowing me in my own bed last night. She may have planned it that way but I wasn’t complaining.
I have really enjoyed being a girl for the last few days, but I certainly enjoyed being a boy last night. I am enjoying myself so much right now I don’t see how I could give anything up.
MJ had totally surprised me as I thought she was only interested in girls. Maybe she likes me because I look like a girl? Maybe she thinks of me as a girl with a bonus? I will ask her, but only when I know the others can’t hear us.
Time was galloping along as usual and I needed to do all of the things a girl needs to do to get ready for college, but my mind kept drifting to how MJ had treated me like a boy in bed last night, if we don’t consider that I was wearing a nighty and panties that is. So I continue to be screwed up, so what’s new. Today I am happily screwed up.
After my shower I got partially dressed then went back into the bathroom to put my make-up on where there was more light. MJ followed me in wearing her sleeping tee shirt. She pulled her panties down to the floor and sat on the toilet for a pee with a silly smug smile on her face.
“Are you sure you should be doing that in front of me?” I asked.
“We are all just girl’s together here,” she said, almost daring me to disagree with her. She was talking loud enough so anyone in the kitchen could hear. “If you want to share an apartment with girls you will have to get used to it.”
I carried on putting make-up on in the mirror and when she had finished what she was doing she stood behind me facing the door and reached behind her to place a hand between my butt cheeks causing a mild jolt of shock. I dropped my mascara in the sink from the surprise. Then she left without saying anything.
The vision of the kid in the candy store came to mind, wearing a pretty dress of course. It seems I can have almost anything I want. I hope I done eat too much and make myself sick.
I got myself ready and went into the kitchen. Carla was telling Angie about our little impromptu jam session while MJ was cooking something on the stove.
“I am making myself an omelet, would anyone like one, Leslie?” said MJ.
“I would love an omelet,” I said. “Do you have any ham and cheese to put in it?
“No just green pepper, onions and olives,” said MJ. The other two expresses contentment with cereal.
“How about sausage or bacon?” I asked.
“Angie,” said MJ. “Can you remind Leslie what kind of apartment this is?”
“This is a girl’s apartment Leslie,” said Angie. “We only eat healthy foods.”
“Bummer,” I said. “An omelet without meat in it doesn’t sound right.”
“Well you are working at the Coffee Hutch today so you can go get yourself a free breakfast if you want,” said MJ.
“That reminds me ladies,” I said. “Tonight I get free dinner at the Coffee Hutch because I am entertaining. Can I entice any of you to swop a nights cooking so I can take advantage of a free meal?”
“But we three have already cooked this week and you haven’t cooked at all since you came here!” said Carla. “How are you going to balance things out, unless of course you cook next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday?”
“Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday?” I asked. “That sounds to me like punishment.”
“I suppose it might seem like punishment to you as you used to be a boy,” said Carla. “But as you are now a girl you should enjoy cooking and cleaning just as much as we do!”
“You mean you actually enjoy cooking and cleaning?” I asked.
“Yeh right!’ said MJ.
“Sure,” said Angie, “we love it so much we want to be absolutely certain that we don’t have to do your cooking and cleaning for you.”
“Which day does Leslie clean the bathroom?” said MJ.
“That was supposed to be yesterday,” said Carla.
“Oh come on,” I said. “This sounds like you are ganging up on me.”
“You are the one who wanted to come live in a girl’s only apartment. It wasn’t our idea,” said Carla. “You are now going to have to live up to your commitments. You will have to do the bathroom this evening before you go to the Coffee Hutch.”
“Ours mothers don’t sneak in here and clean up when you are out Leslie,” said Angie. “And we are certainly not going to allow this beautiful apartment to become untidy like a boys apartment. We have our pride to think of.”
“What? You don’t think boys have pride too?” I asked.
“Some of them maybe?” said MJ, but most boys are usually proud of how high they can stack the pizza boxes in their kitchens. You are a girl now so you better get used to how girls do it.”
I think MJ was giving me a hard time like the others were which must be her way of not letting anyone suspect anything.
I did notice a change in MJ’s appearance this morning. She was wearing a tighter fitting T shirt inside her jeans so you could see her shape, which by the way is a very nice shape, and she was wearing some make-up and her lips were definitely kissable again today.
I snapped myself out of that thought and asked MJ if the veggie omelet was still on offer and she said it was. But as soon as she gave it to me, and I thanked her of course, she cleaned up the pan and her plate and left me on my own with my omelet.
I do understand the way they did things, like cleaning up everything so there was never any mess for anyone else to deal with, but it just takes a little getting used to, especially since my Mom always did everything for me when I was at home.
After my omelet I cleaned up like a good girl and got ready for school. Today I was going to do something new for me as I was going to wear jeans. Not boy jeans of course but the stretchy girl’s jeans that Fiona helped me pick. I also wore a peach colored tank top with a sheer top over it. My corset was underneath everything of course.
I could tell the fit of the jeans was going to take some getting used to. There was not the same room in them for my boy’s equipment. There was a certain amount of pushing, pulling and rearranging that had to be done before things were comfortable and looked right, but that’s my problem I don’t want to trouble you with it.
I got to class early and sat by Connie and Caroline then Vic came and sat on my end of the group and Lawrence came and sat at the other end next to Caroline. They seemed happy to see each other, which I hoped would keep any attention away from me.
Vic wanted to tell me about his new piece of equipment for his guitar that he thought I might find interesting. I did but we had no time to talk before class so after class we went to the cafeteria together. The 5 of us at one small table, which was a little crowded, but they seemed to like getting close to each other.
“So we went to the Guitar Center last night and I bought a new toy to use with my guitar and amp. It’s called a looper,” said Vic. “It allows you to play a few bars then click the pedal and it plays it back to you, then you can play over it. It’s like having your own accompaniment.”
“That sounds really cool,” I said.
“I can show it to you and let you try it. What are you doing tomorrow?” asked Vic.
“I have to go home this weekend,” I said, “But maybe if we go to the music club meeting on Tuesday you could show me?”
“You are going to miss some really good activities this weekend Leslie,” said Connie. “We have already been invited to a house party at the beach and a free concert at the Washington and there is a student festival all day Sunday. You will miss it all.”
“I have to go home but it sounds like I may miss a lot of fun stuff,” I replied.
“Why do you have to go home already Leslie? You only just got here?” said Vic from across the table.
“Just some family business I have to deal with face to face.” I said.
“Your loss,” said Connie. “The four of us went together to the Guitar Center last night then we stopped somewhere on the way back for a bite. It was a fun time. So what did you do?”
“Oh my roommate MJ took me to this coffee bar where I met some people and played guitar.” I said making things up as I went along. “We had a good time too.”
“That’s cool,” said Vic. “I am up to go anywhere where I can meet people and play guitar. Will you take us?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “It was a little far for a school night. I may not go back.”
“So you don’t want us to mix with your new friends Leslie?” said Lawrence.
“It’s not that,” I said, “but I have got a lot to do and if the assignments get heavy like they say it will, I won’t have time to travel that far very often. Because of my activities this week I have already had to promise to cook next Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.”
“I even have to clean the bathroom before I go to the Coffee Hutch tonight.”
“But you are going to be there for dinner at 7?” asked Caroline.
“Sure I will,” I said. “I have asked Fiona to join us and who knows who else might come.”
“Want me to come and get you Leslie so I can carry your guitar?” asked Lawrence. I didn’t want to turn him down again. He is a nice guy after all.
“Yes OK,”I said. “About 10 minutes before 7 would be good.”
He agreed and we planned for the 5 of us would have dinner together, plus Fiona and Rebecca would be 7.
At lunch time I went to a meeting of the Dramatic Society. I had arranged to go because Rebecca texted me a couple of times and I hadn’t seen enough of her these past couple of days.
It was an informal meeting in one of the engineering rooms and Anders said he would speak to us about what he had planned so far. There were about twenty people and most of them were girls.
“I have spoken and listened to most of you over the last couple of days,” said Anders. “We have planned to do a musical but as yet most of our cast volunteers as you can see are girls and I haven’t been able to find a Romeo yet.”
“I know that I have not assigned hardly any of you roles yet but I can tell you that most if not all of you will have a role of some sort, but I need to select the lead roles then assemble a cast around them.
“We need someone to play Romeo. Someone who can look like a young man and can carry a lead singing role. I have more than enough women with good voices, but I have an idea,” Anders continued.
“Leslie I am going to spring this on you, but you have a powerful voice for a women and you sing in a slightly deeper register than most. Do you think you might consider playing Romeo for us? You have shortish hair already and you certainly can sing.”
I was a little shocked and didn’t know what to say. I had only intended to give a little support for the group. I never intended to take a lead role.
“I don’t know what to say Anders,” I said.
“You don’t have to say anything now,” said Anders, “Just think about it. Most of our rehearsals will be Wednesday evenings and Saturday Morning. Just give it some thought. I don’t know if you have time to commit to the project but I hope you do. I think you could really pull it off.”
“Our next meeting will be on Saturday but I will still be in the selection process but I hope by next Wednesday I can have agreement on all of the parts and we can start with read throughs and I can show you some of the music.”
“I have one song I would like to play for you now if you all have the time.” He pulled out an iPod with some portable speakers that he plugged into the wall and played the song. It was the old Dire Straits song Romeo and Juliet. I remember some of the lyrics.
A love struck Romeo,
Sings the streets a serenade
Laying everybody low
With a love song that he made
Finds a street light
Steps out into the shade
Says something like
You and me babe, how about it?
Juliet says hey it's Romeo,
You nearly gave me a heart attack
He's underneath the window, she's singing
Hey la my boyfriend’s back
You shouldn't come around here
Singing up to people like that
Anyway, what you gonna do about it?
Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start
And I bet, and you exploded in my heart.
And I forget, I forget, you know the movie song
When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong Juliet?
When the song ended Anders continued to talk about his vision.
“I have this idea Leslie,” said Anders, “that you could play the Romeo part with a guitar hanging from your back and every once in a while you could pull out the guitar and sing some of the song.”
‘Oh Shit’ I thought to myself. He has already put a lot of thought into this and he has planned with me in mind.
Rebecca took hold of my hand while I was sitting beside her numb and bemused.
“You could do it,” she said. “You would play a wonderful part. He is right that if you tried you could look and sound like a boy. You could be wonderful.”
“I just don’t know,” I said as I sat there feeling shocked. He was asking me, a boy who was pretending to be a girl, to pretend to be a boy. How messed up was that.
“I am sure you could do it if you wanted,” said Rebecca. “You do sing differently to most other girl’s. You would make a wonderful Romeo.”
As Rebecca was trying to encourage me, Anders brought a very attractive Asian looking girl to meet me. She had classic shining black hair, beautiful pale yellow skin and big bright eyes. She was quite stunning.”
“This is Hazel,” said Anders. “I have asked her if she could play Juliet and she is considering it. I thought you should meet each other.”
“Hi Leslie,” she said offering me her hand which I took as she sat down beside me. “Anders says you have a wonderful voice. So what do you think?”
“I think you are a very beautiful woman,” I said. She held her hands to her face and blushed. I wasn’t sorry I said it. She was beautiful.
“I am very sorry for Leslie,” said Rebecca. “Leslie is one of those people who says exactly what is on her mind. It’s one of the things that I love about her.”
“I am sorry Hazel. I wasn’t trying to make you feel uncomfortable. You are just!” Rebecca cut me off.
“Leslie you are going to have to control that part of you,” said Rebecca. “Sometimes you go a little too far.”
I could tell by the inflection is Rebecca’s voice that she was not totally happy with me. I needed to make things better.
“I am Sorry Hazel,” controlling myself somewhat. “Have you done much singing or acting before,” I said trying to ignore the fact that I was staring into the eyes of yet another amazingly beautiful woman. And If I was going to play Romeo to her Juliet, I was going to get to kiss her, more than a couple of times.
“Yes I have done a few things. I am in my 4th year here and two years ago I played the lead in “Shall We Dance”, a story about Ballroom Dancing which we thought was quite successful.”
“Impressive. You dance too. Have you done any singing?” I asked.
“I did do some singing in high school and Anders assures me I could sing on stage after I sang a couple of songs for him.”
“Well I can’t say I am glad you are joining us because I haven’t said I would do it yet, but how can I say no now that I have met you?” Rebecca kicked me with her heel. It hurt.
“I believe you are playing here locally tonight. Do you mind if I come to see you.”
“Yes I am playing with my sister Fiona, and Rebecca will be there with a few of my friends. I am sure we could find you an extra chair.”
We discussed the details and she went back to speak to Anders but before she left she shook my hand again while looking me in the eyes and said, “I am very, very pleased to meet you. See you later this evening.”
I watched her walk away, and then Rebecca kicked me again.
“What was that about?” she said a little angrily. As angrily as she could in a room full of people without anyone noticing.
“What,” I said. “I only told her she was beautiful. I bet she knows it already.”
“That was a pass if ever I heard one,” said Rebecca. “I know because you did the same to me, and the way she smiled back at you could be more of a problem.”
“What I don’t get that,” I said. “What’s the problem?”
“I don’t know if I should tell you this in your already weakened state, but I suppose I have already let the cat out of the bag so far.”
She had already committed to telling me so I didn’t need to say any more. I listened to her and held her hand.
“This will make you happy,” she said. “She is lesbian. I know because I dated her.”
Now there was a revelation. Another gorgeous woman enters my life while I am dressed as a girl and she turns out to be lesbian. Coincidence or what?
“Oh my goodness,” I said. “The thought of you two in a bed together is astonishing.”
“Get rid of that thought Leslie it’s not going to happen again. We went our separate ways nearly two years ago. We have both moved on, and if you can’t get her out of your mind quickly I will be moving on again.”
“I’m sorry Rebecca; I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just that sometimes I can’t control my mouth. You are the most astonishingly attractive woman I have ever set my eyes on and that hasn’t changed. I know we have only known each other for a few days but I don’t want to run the risk of losing you already.”
“Especially as we haven’t done anything with that information yet,” she said.
“What information?” I asked.
“The fact that you find me the most astonishingly attractive woman you have ever set eyes on. You haven’t done anything about it yet.”
That information took me by surprise. Had I been too slow to act? How was I supposed to know? I have never done this stuff before.
“Wow,” I said. “You think I should do something about it? I haven’t had a lot of time.”
“You haven’t had a lot of time,” she said. “But you could make up for it this evening.
“After the show?”
“Right after the show is a good time,” said Rebecca. “Just make sure you don’t let anything get in the way.”
“I will have to make sure my sister gets away OK cause she has to get back to Philly, but after that I will be all yours.”
“You make sure of it,” she reaffirmed.
Time was passing away again and we had to leave. We quickly said goodbyes and I headed back to class. Now I really had something to look forward to.
The afternoon class passed without incident, but I picked up an assignment that needed to be completed by Monday. I knew something about that subject already so research would be easy, just a little time consuming.
I got back to the apartment and got straight into cleaning the bathroom. Angie was around to help me with what cleaners to use and give me a few hints. It wasn’t so bad cleaning up after girls, apart from the odd bra or pair of panties lying around. I am sure it wouldn’t have been so easy cleaning up after boys.
While I was cleaning Angie took some of my laundry and washed it. Just added a few things to hers is all and it didn’t take any extra effort, but she only did whites. The other stuff I would have to take home tomorrow. The thought of me giving girl’s clothes to my Mom to wash was interesting.
While I was cleaning the girls made supper for themselves and then I got ready to go out. While I was in the shower Fiona arrived and when I came out of the bathroom mostly made-up already, Fiona was talking to the others over dinner. Fiona even had some salad with them. They were talking about my first week as a girl.
“So tell me about Lawrence? Is he really good looking?” asked Fiona.
“I think he is handsome,” said Angie. “He has powerful broad shoulders and a tight little butt. Definitely kissable!”
“You like kissing boys butts do you Angie,” asked MJ.
“I was talking about the boy not the butt,” she said.
“Leslie was out on the porch with him for a while the second time. It least 15 minutes. We went to bed and left her to it,” said Carla.
“This is a little hard for me,” said Fiona. “He is still my brother and it’s going to take some getting used to. I knew he was going to start kissing someone someday but I didn’t expect it would be a boy.”
“We haven’t known Leslie as long as you have, but we try to say that Leslie used to be a boy, but she is a girl now,” said Carla. “We treat her as though she has always been a girl and she will have to get used to that kind of treatment.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Fiona told the girl’s. “You didn’t know her as a boy. I believe that Dawn has told Barbara and my Mom and Dad already so there will be some interesting conversation when she gets home tomorrow.”
That was going to be stressful discussion when I got home tomorrow, but I didn’t have time to think about that now. I was just about ready now and I came out of my room fully dressed wearing a blouse with a spaghetti strap tank top underneath and a grey skirt a little above the knee.
“What’s that about?” said Leslie looking at my clothes.
“What’s up?” I asked.
“You can’t wear that skirt on stage sitting on a stool. People will see up you skirt. Why don’t you wear one of you dresses with leggings underneath.”
“Because I have worn them all this week. I could go put my jeans back on.”
“Go for it,” said Fiona.
Wearing jeans again it would have to be. I was hoping for a little relief from wearing jeans all day because they are not kind to my boy bits, but I couldn’t think of any other choice. I needed more clothing options.
I went back in my room to put my jeans on and I managed to hold-in all of my junk in place long enough to zip them up. While I was there I heard that someone was knocking on the front door. I guessed it would be Lawrence.
Fiona went down the stairs ahead of me with my guitar in hand while I went to find my other shoes and put my short denim jacket on.
“My my you look different again this evening Leslie, but very pretty all the same. Have you done something different with your hair?” said Lawrence to my sister as she walked down the stairs and took the guitar off her.
“Why thank you Lawrence that is a nice thing to say,” she said as she kissed him on the cheek and thanked him, “but that may have something to do with the fact that I am Fiona, Leslie’s sister”
I came down the stairs and Lawrence did a double take looking at us both in turn.
“Wow you both look amazing,” said Lawrence. “But how am I going to tell you apart?”
“That won’t be difficult once you know the differences,” said Fiona. “My hair is longer and straighter, Leslie’s eyebrows are a little lower and her chin is a little more pointed.
“Unbelievable,” he said. “You are so very similar to each other.”
“There are some other big difference,” said Fiona,” but we won’t go into those right now.”
I looked at Fiona with daggers. It was obvious she had a small attitude towards me right now.
Fiona got her guitar out of her car and Lawrence was more than happy to carry both guitars. We walked towards the Coffee Hutch and Fiona produced a piece of paper and gave it to me.
“I suppose you haven’t thought of a set list.” She was right. I had improvised my way through the first show but with two of us playing that would be a little more troublesome.
“Have you timed it,” I asked.
“Not with a stop watch, but I think I have it arranged it two halves of about 55 minutes each. Have a look at it and see if there is anything that you have a problem with.” I looked and didn’t see a problem.
I was watching Lawrence watch Fiona while we walked down the road. She was looking at me and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. I hope that if he is busy watching her then he won’t pay me any attention. We will see.
We got into the Coffee Hutch and the tables were mostly full. I saw Rebecca waving me over towards the back nearer the kitchen. The three of us went back with Lawrence carrying the guitars. We stowed them in the kitchen then sat down at our seats. Rebecca gave both Fiona and I brief hugs.
Rebecca had arranged 2 - 4 seater tables together for the group that so far included Lawrence, Connie, Caroline, Vic, Me, Fiona and Rebecca who had help serving tonight but may have to get up once in a while to help out.
In the beginning the conversation at the table was about how Fiona and I were so alike and we had to tell them the rules for how to tell the difference. Then Dylan came in from the kitchen because he had heard I was here. He was still wearing his kitchen apron and he had his hair tied back in a ball and was wearing a ball cap backwards.
He looked at me and Fiona and said, “I don’t know who to kiss.”
“You can kiss me if you want,” said Fiona. “You must be Dylan. I am Fiona.” He kissed her on both cheeks then I stood up and he kissed me too.
Just at that moment Hazel came walking in the door and headed straight of Dylan with a big smile on her face and gave him a big hug.
“Hazel my darling,” said Dylan. “How long has it been? It seems like forever since I last saw you?”
“It hasn’t been that long Dylan. I was still living here last April.”
“Missed you so much darling,” he said, “But I will have to talk to you later. I have meals to prepare.” And he disappeared back into the kitchen.
Hazen then started looking at me and Fiona. “OK,” she said. “Which one is the copy?”
I stood up. “I am the copy Hazel. This is my older sister; by a year, and my best friend, Fiona. We play and sing as a duo most of the time.” They shook hands.
“So cool,” she said. “I am so looking forward to hearing you. Do you have any room at your table? I came here on my own.”
“Well you can sit there next to Fiona because this seat next to me is for Rebecca.” I said.
She gave me a concerned look then decided to sit next to Fiona.
“Are you seeing Rebecca?” Hazel asked me.
I didn’t answer and I could tell by the look on Fiona’s face that she was shocked.
“To tell you the truth Hazel I believe that we have become good friends over the last few of days since we met but I can’t say we are seeing each other.”
I am sure that Fiona would be concerned by what she was hearing. Her brother, who happens to be cross-dressing at this moment, being involved in a possible lesbian relationship, sounds a bit off the wall, but that is potentially what is being spoken of.
While we were talking we ordered food and some drinks, just coke for me.
“You know that Rebecca and I had a relationship a couple of years ago Leslie,” said Hazel.
“Rebecca mentioned it, but I assume you have remained friends?” I asked.
“We broke-up for two reasons, mainly because of geography. Being separated by a 3 hour trip was not good for any relationship, but we believe our time had run its course. I don’t think either one of us was too upset by the split.”
“So how long since you saw each other, if you don’t mind me asking” I said.
“Spring of last year at graduation. After the graduation parties she left for New York and I haven’t seen each other hardly at all her since.”
I noticed she didn’t say that had not seen each other at all. She didn’t seem to upset about it but I was a little concerned. Rebecca and Hazel had a relationship the last time they were in college together, and now they are back in college together. Rebecca now lives in the apartment that Hazel used to live in and the 3 of us are involved in the dramatic society.
“What program are you taking,” asked Fiona of Hazel.
“I am in Business Administration, same course Rebecca was on. Rebecca and I met at the dramatic society. How about you?”
“I am taking Music in Philly so I don’t live here. I only came to play with Leslie. I have nearly an hour’s drive to get home before I get to my apartment,” said Fiona.
Rebecca came over and sat with us. She placed her hand on mine on my lap as she sat next to me. I think she may be claiming her territory and making clear her intentions.
“Nice to see you again Hazel,” she said like they were old friends. “I knew we would bump into each other sometime.”
Now this seemed strange to me. I may not have a lot of experience in these matters but if these two had a relationship for a year or so, haven’t spoken to each other for 15months, and now they sit at the same table together just acting cordially like nothing happened between them. I knew there was something odd about this relationship but I didn’t know what it was.
They were cordial towards each other but didn’t ask any questions about what each other had done or anything. There was no how ‘have you been’ or ‘what have you been doing.’ I made my mind up to ask Rebecca about it later.
We ate dinner, which was really good food. Not your normal bar food. I had a seafood marinara which was delicious. After we ate we went back to speak to Dylan for a couple of minutes. We told him about our set list. He told us he expected 2 hours that did not include a break so minimum 1 hour then 15 minute break then minimum 1 hour.
We did not have a problem with that because we knew plenty of songs and could just add one in anywhere. We knew plenty of Fleetwood Mac songs that were perfect for this type of occasion.
With about 20 minutes to go, Rebecca called me back to the kitchen. I didn’t know why but I was hoping it was for a glass of wine. I was not the only one at our table who wasn’t over 21 but those who were drinking were making me jealous.
I walked into the kitchen and I could see Dylan cooking with one of his staff, but they had their backs to us. Rebecca was holding a glass of red wine down on the bar with her and beckoning me over with the other. The area where she prepared the drinks was in a small alcove so people from the restaurant could not see us.
I was guessing the glass on wine was for and I said, “thank you my angel,” and reached for it. She didn’t let go. She put her hand around my waist, pulled me to her and kissed me on the lips.
My goodness she was delicious. She was a little taller than me so I was reaching up to her. My hand went around her waist and I rested myself against her. I was in heaven for a few moments.
We were disturbed by a male cough behind me. We broke off and stood apart. I didn’t recognize him but he asked to see Dylan. Rebecca went over to see Dylan.
I didn’t know if I should drink my wine in front of a stranger but I did anyway. He smiled at me but didn’t say anything. He was wearing a white denim shirt with embroidered patterns of parrots on it. He was tall and slim, drooping moustache , had long greying hair in a ponytail and dangling earrings. When Dylan came over the two of them greeted each other and hugged. Then they turned to me.
“Leslie,” said Dylan. “I want you to meet my friend Carl Lewis. Carl likes to keep up with the musical artists around because he occasionally has need of an act or two.”
We exchanged pleasantries and shook hands.
“Dylan said you have a very interesting voice and great presence under the lights and I am looking forward to hear you play,” said Carl.
“I feel honored.” I said. “This is really only our first show. Monday’s show was only me improvising.” Goodness was it only Monday when I did the first show. It seems like a lifetime away.
“Well whatever you call it, it was very enjoyable and I for one am looking forward to tonight,” said Dylan, “but it is time to get ready. Carl can you help them with set up and sound please? I have a couple of items to address in the kitchen.”
Rebecca reached over and grabbed my arm. “After the show remember!” she said. I nodded my head and smiled before I had to leave to start the show.
We picked up the guitars and went into the restaurant where I introduced Carl to Fiona and we headed for the front. The stools and microphones were set up so we did sound checks and tune ups and then sat playing the first part of ‘Never going back again’ by Fleetwood Mac.
We continued playing, finger picking our way through the song with the volume turned low but loud enough for everyone hear. We had arranged this with Carl who would turn it up to normal volume after Dylan’s introduction.
This playing actually worked as a warm up that we had forgot to plan into our schedule. A good artist always warms up before a show. Sometimes for hours. The audience got a little quite trying to listen to us playing then Dylan came to the stage and took the mic.
“Welcome everyone to Thursday at the Coffee Hutch. Tonight and every Thursday and Sunday for the next little while I am very glad to say you will find Leslie and Fiona playing here from 9 till around 11:15 or so.”
“Please welcome Leslie and Fiona.”
We continued picking our way through ‘Never going back again’ and Carl turned up the volume on the PA. The sound filled the room and sounded very clear. The sharpness of the tone on my Taylor contrasted nicely against the more mellow sounds from Fiona’s Yamaha.
We know that Lindsay Buckingham plays the entire song on his own on one guitar, but we don’t consider ourselves in the same league as Lindsey Buckingham so we play the song on two guitars. We think it sounds about the same.
I sang the lead vocal and Fiona joined in on the parts requiring harmony. I know it sounded good and when we finished we were rewarded with warm enthusiastic applause.
Fiona thanked everyone for the welcome. “Thanks everyone,” she said. “We are Fiona and Leslie Haigt. If you need to tell us apart just remember I am Fiona the good looking one.”
I pulled my tongue out at her and the audience laughed.
“Our second song is something we have practiced a lot and played publicly before at my University recital last spring. It is a modern rendition of a classical piece in a style made popular by Mike Oldfield. This is called In Dulci Jubilo.”
I didn’t really know if this would go down well but it was a fun piece for us to play. We only started playing it because it’s one of our Dad’s favorites. We got nice applause from it.
We continued into a few more popular song by people like the Dixie Chicks, Stevie Nicks, Sugarland, Lady Antebellum and finished the set with ‘If I die young’ by the Band Perry. It went down very well. We told everyone we would be back in 15 minutes and Dylan played some background music.
I decided I needed the little girl’s room and headed that way. Half way back Vic caught my arm to congratulate me on the music. He also wanted to tell me about his looper pedal which he said would have made some of our music easier to play and sound even more interesting. I said I would look forward to hearing it but I didn’t have time now or after the show. I excused myself and headed to the girl’s room.
When I got into the girl’s room I followed Fiona in. Both stalls were taken. She saw me behind her. She turned and said, “what are you doing in here?’
I opened my palms to her and shrugged. She rolled her eyes and looked way, putting her hands on her hips. I thought to myself ‘this can’t be a surprise.’ I can’t go in the men’s room. I thought she was on my side but maybe not all of the time. It did seem a little different to be in the woman’s washroom with my sister. Growing up I guess this was the only place we never went together.
After the girl’s room I went back to the kitchen to see if I could get a glass of wine with Rebecca. She wasn’t there but there was a full glass sitting there waiting for me, so I started to sip it.
While I was there I was surprised to hear Fiona starting to play without me. She said. “Forgive me sister. I am going to play one without you. She started to play and sing and I was amazed.
She played ‘Little black submarines’ by the Black Keys and it sounded beautiful.
Little black submarines Operator please Put me back on the line
Told my love I'd be back Operator please This is wrecking my mind
Oh, can it be The voices calling me They get lost and out of time
I should've seen it grow But everybody knows That a broken heart is blind
That a broken heart is blind
That a broken heart is blind
When she finished she said, “that was for my sister because I love her and I played that particular song just because it is my favorite song and not because my heart is broken or anything.”
That made up for the scene in the girl’s room. When I came back on stage I gave her a kiss on the cheek.
We played the rest of the set and everything went by like a flash. Big applause in many places especially at the end. Dylan would not allow an encore because he says neighbors complain after 11:30 and the police come out.
We unplugged, switched off and packed up while the staff, Dylan, his cook, Rebecca and the woman I had not met yet cleaned up the place. Didn’t take long.
Lawrence was waiting to take me back to the apartment but I asked him to take Fiona back to her car. Fiona hugged me.
“I am sorry for what I said earlier,’ she said quietly in my ear. Lawrence was sanding close be. “I am not exactly myself today.”
“That’s OK,” I said. “You made up for it with the song. It was beautiful.”
Lawrence picked up Fiona’s guitar and they disappeared outside. I went back to find my guitar. Everyone had left now and Rebecca was waiting there on her own.
“I guess I should leave,” I said. And she got the strangest look on her face.
“I am only kidding!” I said quickly. “I was joking.”
She looked at the floor and shook her head, then she lifted her head and held out her hand.
“Want to come up to my place?”
“Can’t wait,” I said.
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Little black submarines. Written by the black keys.
Starting College my way. Chapter 11.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 11.
She’s my baby. Thursday Night September 12th
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Rebecca held out her hand.
“Want to come up to my place?”
“Can’t wait,” I said. “Where is your place?”
She turned back towards the kitchen and opposite the alcove where drinks are served. On the opposite wall there was a door. Rebecca opened it and signaled for me to follow her.
I followed up the stairs. She had on her usual working dress which was a plane short black evening dress. I couldn’t help but watch her legs and ass as I followed her. Her legs were muscular and silky smooth. I would normally be getting an erection but I was held back inside these tight woman’s jeans.
We entered the room which was pleasant but a little dark. Lots of dark wood and a big brown leather sofa in front of the electric fireplace. I put my guitar down behind the couch.
Without any indication that this was going to happen she stepped in front of me, wrapped both arms around me, tilted her head and kissed me deeply on the lips. I couldn’t help but to join in. She tasted wonderful and I wrapped my arms around her held on for dear life as I thought I could give weigh under the onslaught to my nervous system.
Every part of her fantastic powerful womanhood was invading my senses and I was overcome by her for what seemed like a minor eternity. But it couldn’t last. I became aware of the conflict within me and tried to wake myself up and push away.
As I wriggled from her grasp she said, “Whatever is the matter? Why are you pushing away? I thought this was what you wanted.”
“It is! Of course it is,” I said.
I walked away from her and sat down on her sofa and took a breath. I was on the verge of crying.
“So you want me to kiss you but you pushed me away. I don’t understand.”
“But I am here under false pretenses. I am not the pretty girl you think I am.”
“Are you Leslie Haigt?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“You are young and you are very pretty,” she continued, but I couldn’t hold it together. I put my head in my hands and rested forward on my knees and started crying my eyes out.
She sat down beside me and both hands started rubbing my back. I kept on crying and then she pulled me towards her so I was resting on her lap.
“So whatever is the problem,” she asked.
“I just told you. You can work it out,” I said.
“But you are Leslie Haigt! You are young and pretty. I don’t understand. What is it that I am not getting? Are you a bank robber or something?”
I shook my head. I didn’t want to say it as I was hoping that she would figure it out for herself but it seems like I would have to actually tell her. I sat up and looked at her while holding her hands.
“Please don’t get mad at me?” I asked.
“Why should I get mad at you? We haven’t done anything I regret yet. I won’t get mad at you. Go ahead you can trust me.”
“I am sorry but this has all gotten out of control and I really didn’t plan for this to happen,” I said.
“That’s OK! You can tell me,” she said in an understanding tune. “Go ahead.”
I took a breath and said it. “I am not a girl.”
“Of course you’re a girl I can see from here you are a very beautiful girl. What do you mean?”
“I mean that I am not a girl.”
Silence followed. She needed a few moments for this to sink in and find its rightful place within in her thought processes.
“So you are telling me you’re a boy?”
“Yes,” I nodded.
“Well fuck me!” she said and she dropped my hand.
“I’m sorry,” I said. She didn’t respond to that, she just looked at me. It took her a few moments to respond, but when she did there was a twinge of frustration in her voice.
“How on earth can you be a boy,” she asked. “You are fucking gorgeous!”
She hadn’t started to beat me up so I felt a little better. “Thank you. Just lucky I guess.”
“Are you transgendered and want to become a girl?”
“In that area I am totally screwed up,” I said, sobbing through my words. “I was a boy last week just trying to find a nice place to stay for college and somehow I became this.”
“But if you were a boy last week how could you get into college and into a girl’s residence?”
I told her the story of how I came to the apartment and they thought I was a girl, and then they found my girl’s clothes and the dean’s office called etc.
“So you did all of this because you are a cross-dresser.”
“No,” I said. “I did this mainly because I needed a place to stay and the boy’s apartments were all full. It just worked out easier because the girls thought I was a girl anyway and they had already told the dean’s office that I was a girl because I had a suitcase full of girl’s clothes.”
“Are you gay and want to make it with boys?”
“No,” I said. “Boys have never interested me.”
“Why did you come up to my room with me? You must have known that I find out that you were a boy as soon as we made out?”
“Probably because I think that you are about the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I was hoping I might kiss you.”
“Leslie this is impossible,” she said as she put her head in her hands and rested her elbows on her knees.
“I think it may be improbable yes but the fact that it just happened means that it is not impossible.”
“I didn’t mean that it’s impossible that you are a boy.” She said. “How I feel is impossible.”
“What?” I asked.
“Well Leslie. I am a confirmed dyke and have been since my early teens. I have never let a boy touch or kiss me and never intended to. My problem is Leslie that you just told me you are a boy and I really wanted to fuck your brains out.”
“So are you saying that you don’t want me anymore?” I asked.
“Things are never simple are they Leslie. I know what I wanted to do with you. I had been dreaming about it for a couple of days, but I can’t do that now.
“Why not?”
“Oh please grow up Leslie. I wanted to taste your clitoris and vagina and have your juices fun down my face and I wanted you to do the same to me. Now you tell me you have a fucking dick.”
She didn’t seem exactly angry with me, but she was obviously frustrated with the situation. I still wanted her and was trying to think of some way to salvage something out of this.
“I still want to taste your vagina and have your juices fun down my face,” I said.
She got up off the couch and headed for what I assume was the kitchen.
“I need a drink, do you want one? I am having a large whiskey.”
“I’ll have what you’re having,” I said.
“What do you want in it? I am having coke.”
I said I would have the same. She came back with two large glasses with what looked like ice and coke. She sat next to me and started gulping it down. I tried to do the same but it tasted pretty nasty to me.
“This tastes like shit Rebecca.”
“Just drink it Leslie. You might need it.” I drank some down slowly but it still tasted like shit.
“Listen Leslie we have a problem. I still find you attractive but this relationship just developed some problems.”
“What’s that Rebecca,” I asked.
“You have a penis Leslie,” allowing her frustration to show through a little.
“I know,” I said, “and its tucked away inside these tight woman’s jeans and getting very uncomfortable.”
“You will have to keep it there a little longer Leslie till we figure out what to do about it.”
“Why. What were you thinking of doing with it?”
“That’s just the thing Leslie, I am not prepared for a penis. I don’t take the pill. Do you have condoms?”
“No,” I said.
“As I said we are not prepared. I wouldn’t mind a penis inside me but not without a condom.”
“Could you use your mouth?” I asked.
“No fuckin’ way Leslie. I have always hated that idea. This is not going to work is it?” she said.
“We have to make it work,” I said.
“But why Leslie?”
I put my hand to her cheek and pulled her face towards mine. “Can’t we just start again? You are still the most astonishingly attractive woman I have ever set eyes on.” I said.
“This is ridiculous,” she said. She pulled me to her and pulled my head down and rested it near her breast. She spoke quietly in my ear.
“When we came up those stairs and you came into my apartment I was convinced I was going fuck your brains out. I have had an aching in my stomach that tells me I am going to fuck someone soon or I will explode.”
I picked my head up and looked at her. “Is that a good thing,” I asked.
“That depends young Leslie on whether you want your brains fucked out or not.”
“Does it hurt?” I asked.
“That depends how gentle I am with you. The other problem is that I have never fucked a boy and I am not sure how.”
“I have never fucked anyone either.” I added. I don’t think that was a lie, not in the Bill Clinton sense anyway.
She took my hand and placed it on here breast. I shivered. I had my hand on her breast. A bolt of pressure made its way to my penis and it started to tingle. She kissed me on the mouth and waves of pleasure radiated across my entire body and now I was tingling all over.
She pulled back and opened her eyes, then without moving my hand from her breast she reached behind her and lowered the zip of her dress. She then pulled her arms away and I moved my hand back to allow her dress to fall down to her lap.
Her beautiful breast were revealed but still contained in a beautiful black lace see through bra. She reached behind herself again and undid her bra. She pulled her arms from it and pulled it from her.
Rebecca’s breast was exposed before me. They were big and round and exquisitely shaped and seemed at the time to be the most exciting thing I had ever seen. I lifted my hand to cup her breast and feel her nipple and she placed her and over mine.
I reached out and kissed her again. I could hardly believe this had really happened I was kissing Rebecca and her breast was in my hand.
Rebecca gently pulled back. “Your turn,” she said.
I pulled my top and tank top up to reveal my bra and corset. Then I unfastened my bra and removed my breast forms. Rebecca’s hand moved to cover my breast.
Rebecca’s hand caressed my left breast and examined my nipple. I made a sharp intake of breath as held my nipple between her fingers.
“You like that?” she said knowing that I did. “I know you said you were a boy, but you have small breasts like a young girl.”
“I know,” I said. “Don’t ask me how that happened.”
She kissed me again then she reached for her drink and finished the rest in one.
“Do you want that?” she said, intimating towards my drink. I shook my head so she picked my drink up and finished it. Then she stood up and pulled me with her as she walked off towards her bedroom with me being towed behind her.
She got into her room then she kicked off her shoes and lowered her dress to the floor, kicked it in the corner after her shoes, then she turned to face me. All she had on was a tiny black thong. I had never been so close to something so beautifully erotically stimulating and she was standing about 4 feet from me. I had a void in the pit of my stomach that I knew she could fill.
My mouth was wide open as I looked at her. She smiled. “What are you looking at?” she said. I couldn’t answer she was just to dam attractive for words.
She signaled to me with her hands. “You next.”
I unbuckled my shoes and took them off then removed my jeans then went to take off my corset.
“Leave that on,” she said. “That’s sexy.”
She threw back the sheets and go onto the bed. She scooted across the other side to make room for me. I got onto the bed beside her. As soon as I was on the bed she climbed on top of me and placed her leg between mine and started to grind on me while kissing me. Her tits were between us and resting on my tits. Her arms were under my arms holding my body in place. She invaded my mouth with her sensuously delicious tongue and I was in heaven.
My hands were up around her head and I wanted to feel her body. I pulled back to try to move my arms below hers. I ended up rolling her over so I became the one on top, which allowed me to touch her body.
As I lay on top of her, kissing her I felt her wonderful tits then her ribs as they pointed inwards towards her slim waist. Then I put my hands underneath her and around her ass cheeks and pulled her hips into me, making the grinding more positive.
I pulled myself away from her hips just enough to allow my hand entrance to her panties and her hand immediately followed my hand and she pushed two of my fingers deep inside her vagina.
I have never touched a vagina before. I was soft and silky and firm and wet all at the same time. She was now grinding on my hand, but after a few moments of this she pulled my hand away from her vagina and brought it up to my face and plunged our fingers into my mouth.
The taste was exciting, not because of the flavor but because I knew where it had come from. I was tasting Rebecca’s love juices and this was the flavor of lust. I licked every finger before me to ensure I didn’t waste any of the delicious nectar, then Rebecca began to push me down her body.
I started to move down her body kissing every part of her on the way down. I played with her breasts and toyed with her nipples, I kissed her under the arms and down the side of her ribs. I kissed her amazingly flat hard stomach and pushed my tongue inside her belly button, which did taste a little powdery.
I kissed my way down her lower stomach and kissed the hairs above her vagina. She was mostly shaved but she had a small triangle in just the perfect location, but there was no more room and I was close to falling off the bottom of the bed. I had to swing around to approach from above. My knees were now up near Rebecca’s shoulders.
I began kissing the folds of her legs again but she reached out with her arms and placed my head directly over and into where she wanted my mouth and tongue to go. My tongue went straight into her vagina and her hands held me into place locking me into her pleasure den.
She began letting our cries of pleasure with noises that come from the back of her throat but sounded like they originated from deep inside her as she began grinding her vagina into my face.
Now she took my hand that had been behind her but and pushed it towards her vagina. I guess what she wanted and plunged 3 fingers deep inside her. She reacted by squeezing with her vagina and almost breaking my fingers so I pulled my fingers out. I realized that I could not leave 3 fingers side by side inside her and arranged them in a triangle and put them back in and her hips began to buck and weave in my grasp
A sweet liquid now began to flow from her vagina and run across my face and nose. Had my eyes been open it would have gone into my eyes. It tasted wonderful and I knew it couldn’t be blood. I am sure I was making her come and that gave me great pleasure.
She continued to grind on my face and even though I was not being pleasured myself, at that moment I could think of nothing in the world that I would rather be doing. To have this woman in my arms and be doing what I am doing was an absolute privilege and I felt grateful to be allowed to do this to a woman so beautiful.
We carried on for a while but I began to tire and I think she was tiring too. The sounds she was making were quieter and she was not pushing my face down into her vagina and more, just holding me in place.
She released her grip then pulled me up towards her so she could kiss me. She kissed me on the lips them all over my faces then she licked me clean of all her juices that had flowed all over my face. Her tongue all over my eyes and forehead felt wonderful.
“What about you?” she said. “What can I do for you?”
“Can you use your hands on me?” I asked. She didn’t say anything but it was obvious she wanted to please me. I pulled off my 2 pairs of panties and my penis gently rose to attention. I felt so completely engulfed in pure femininity and lust that my penis was fully erect and hard within a few seconds.
I lay back beside her and pulled her hand over to my penis, which was already wet and slippery with my own juices. She started working on me and after a couple of on course corrections she started to really get going. She now placed her head on my stomach so I couldn’t see but she was now doing really good without my interruption.
Then she change position and sat on my legs with my penis sticking up between her thighs. She now started working on me with two hands. I started to complain that I was becoming dry so she reached between her legs to her vagina and scooped some vaginal juices, rubbing them on my penis and continuing working on me.
Her tits bouncing and jiggling in front of was amazing. The light was off in the bedroom but the light from the lounge and kitchen gave enough light to see everything clearly.
I reached up to grab her breast. She was watching my face the whole time and she noticed my face distorting.
“Are you going to come?” she asked. I could only nod my head a little before I started blasting my own seed across my stomach, onto my corset and a little landed on my chest. Waves of pleasure ran through me and I was convinced I have never enjoyed anything have as much as these few minutes.
I had to stop her from moving her hands any more as the pleasure was turning to pain. She just held still for a little while holding my penis with her two hands and me holding her hands in mine. I laid back and closed my eyes and let the sensations subside a little.
I felt her finger collect some of the come from my chest and my eyes opened. She put the cum covered finger into her mouth.
“Doesn’t taste too bad,” she said. Certainly not as disgusting as I expected. I might tolerate that thing in my mouth if you can do ‘that’ to me every time.”
“But right now you have got to get a shower,” she said. “You have got cum on your body and my juices in your hair. You can’t go to sleep like that. I just put clean sheets on today.”
“But I have to go back to my apartment,” I said.
“Please Leslie,” she asked. “You can’t make me go to sleep on my own after an orgasm like that. It’s not fair.”
“I can’t resist you,” I said. “How could anyone resist you?”
“My erection had disappeared now so Rebecca stepped of the bed but kept hold of my hand and dragged me with her towards the bathroom and showed. She turned on the shower and I removed my corset.
She stepped into the shower and I stepped in with her. It was a little tight in there but that made it even more pleasurable. Every time I moved I touched her.
She turned away from me to clean herself and avoid our heads clashing. I wrapped my arms around her and one hand wandered up to her breast and the other around her waist. I can’t imagine anyone’s body feeling any more heavenly.
I allowed my other hand to drift down between her legs and she put her hands over mine and held me there. My penis came up between her legs and she made a little space for it by opening her legs a little.
“My penis isn’t such a horrible thing is it?” I asked.
“Yours I can tolerate,” she said. “I wouldn’t let anyone else’s touch me.”
I just held on to her as the water washed over me. When the rinsing was complete she turned the water off but I just held on to her. I just couldn’t believe something so beautiful could ever happen to me.
“We are not doing it again,” said Rebecca.
“I just don’t want to let you go,” I said.
“You can hold me again when we get in bed,” she said as she prized my hands away and stepped out of the shower. She gave me a towel and we got dried. I couldn’t believe just watching her dry herself was so erotic. She put her hands on me for support as she dried her feet, then kissed me and she walked into the bedroom naked. I watched her ass wobble as she walked away from me. Unbelievable.
She reached onto a draw and gave me some panties.
“Cover yourself up while we are asleep,” she said, “I don’t want that thing poking me in the back in the middle of the night.
She put panties and a T shirt on to go to sleep in. She set her alarm for 7 am and we got in be beside each other. I kissed her one more time and watched her fall asleep.
------------------------
My baby, she comes out at night,
she's takin' me by surprise,
She's my baby.
Like gravy, down to the last drop,
I keep mopping her up
Oh yeah, she's my baby
Wings She’s my baby.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNSWmER2Exg
Starting College my way. Chapter 12.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 12.
Changing all those changes. Friday morning September 13th
An alarm clock was buzzing somewhere. It wasn’t too long before I realized that I was in Rebecca’s bed and a giant smile spread itself across my face. I sat up in bed with the anticipation of seeing Rebecca lying in bed next to me, she was not there but she did the next best thing my walking into the bedroom to me with a coffee in her hand.
She was wearing jeans and a low cut tank top and looking really beautiful. She placed the coffee on the table and before she said anything she sat on the bed and kissed me. She kept her mouth closed because I had not cleaned my teeth, but then she hugged me. She felt magical in my arms and smelled amazing.
I powerful erection rose between my legs and I began to think of the wonderful things we did last night, but Rebecca’s thoughts were somewhere else and she ordered me to clean my teeth, put some warm clothes on and come into the kitchen.
I did what I was told and headed into the kitchen to find Rebecca cooking ham and scrambled eggs. She had put on a sweater because the back door was open and sunlight was streaming in inviting me to go outside.
I walked outside to find myself on a pleasant deck overlooking next door’s flower garden. The deck was almost totally secluded apart from a bathroom window in the house next door. There were trees obscuring the view of any other house. The warmth of the sun was magnificent but I needed sunglasses. It was a magical little nook hidden away from everyone.
Rebecca set me up with a coffee, had me put an umbrella up for shade then sat me down at the table where she brought out ham and eggs on a breakfast tray.
“So what do you think?” she asked.
“I am in heaven!” I said tucking into my breakfast. “I am floating on a cloud and I can’t stop myself from smiling.”
“So am I not going to get an honest evaluation from you?”
“How could I evaluate you?” I asked. “You are the only woman I have ever done those things to. You are just so amazing it makes my stomach ache to think about it.”
“But you knew exactly what to do. I could have sworn that you had been doing this for years.”
“No honestly I have never touched a woman like that in my life. The only way I had any idea of what to do was from reading magazines about how the body works and how to bring a woman to orgasm articles.”
“So I guess you enjoyed it?” I asked.
“Yes, to be honest I am very happy today,” said Rebecca. “When you told me that you were a boy I was disappointed because I really wanted to taste the woman in you. I couldn’t do that, but I still made love to you. To make love to I wanted. You made me shiver down to my roots and I can still feel the tingle.”
“Oh now I feel a little smug,” I said.
“Why Leslie,” she asked.
“Because you are so beautiful and I feel so ordinary. I made the most beautiful woman I have ever met, tingle.”
“I need you to stop that Leslie.”
“What,” I said.
“Complements are nice but you go too far. You are Leslie Haigt. You are very beautiful yourself or I wouldn’t let you near me. You sing beautifully and you have an amazing presence around you. OK when I walk into a room I know that people turn around and say ‘there is a beautiful woman.’ I know that happens and it makes me feel good.”
“But when you walk in the room people say there goes Leslie Haigt. She is beautiful and talented and confident. They want to talk to you and hear you sing. They just want to look at me maybe take me to bed.”
I was astonished and lost for words.
“Anyway I am sure you are just passing through here on your way to bigger and better things while I will go back to New York and pick up where I left off.”
“Where did this come from?” I asked. “Last night was wonderful and now you start talking about what happen when it’s over.”
“I always want to be your friend Leslie for sure, and what we had last night was wonderful but you must realize our differences are too great.”
“What do you mean differences?”
“Leslie I am a dyke and you have a dick. It’s just not going to work out.”
All of the wind had suddenly got sucked from my sails. No longer hungry I put my knife and fork down and sat back in the chair. I fought for a way back but she seemed to have made things very clear already.
“I thought you said last night that you wouldn’t mind doing this again. What happened?”
“I thought about it some more obviously after I woke this morning and please don’t get me wrong. I will always love you and be grateful for this moment but I didn’t sign up to have a dick put in my mouth.”
I couldn’t believe it. It felt like I had been given the greatest gift in the world, just to have it taken back again. A lump developed in my throat.
“Will I never get to kiss you again?” I said struggling to get the words out through the oncoming tears.
She quickly got up and came over to me, kissed me on the forehead and hugged my head to her chest. I cried in her arms.
“Yes you can kiss me Leslie, but in future we will be friends but not lovers. You are going to find lots of beautiful people in your life who will love you, but I am the wrong person to have relationship with.”
I couldn’t move and I had no intention to let go of her. This just didn’t seem right. How could this be over so soon? I couldn’t stop crying.
“Leslie you are going to have to pull yourself together and get on with your day,” said Rebecca. “You have to go back to your apartment and get ready for college and you have less than an hour.”
“How am I going to go to college when I feel like this?”
“You can do it Leslie. It can’t be that hard to get over me. We have only known each other for 5 days and we only had the one time together which was last night.”
She was right. I wasn’t acting like an adult at this time. I was more like a child who had his toy taken away. I had to snap out of it.
“I’m sorry Rebecca.” I said trying to regain some composure. “You know that I have never had a girlfriend before and this is the first time I have lost one.”
“You must have had an idea that it wouldn’t work out Leslie.”
“Of course Rebecca, but last night was so beautiful I kind of forgot. Does that sound childish?” I asked.
“You are not a child Leslie and you are not acting childish now. I understand that you are very upset about me ending this already but if you were acting childish then surely you would be angry at me for hurting you.”
“I couldn’t be angry with you Rebecca because you gave me something wonderful. You were the one who was obvious with your intentions and I was the one hiding something. I am just really sorry we couldn’t work it out.”
“I think you are recovered enough to go back to your apartment now Leslie. We both only have only an hour to get to class. I still want to be your friend as I said before. I want you to call me later to tell me that you are OK. OK?”
“OK I will call you later before I head home for the weekend.”
“Why are you going home for the weekend Leslie, you only just got here?”
“My parents don’t know I am attending college as a girl. Remember I said last night that I have only been a girl for a week.”
“Obviously I am not the only one you have been hiding things from.”
“It’s not that I wanted to hide anything from you Rebecca, but our relationship has been so short that I told you the first time I could.”
“I suppose you a right, but it still didn’t feel right. I thought I was chasing a girl.”
“I know that I need to tell anyone I have a relationship with about who or what I really am. When we met, Rebecca, I still hadn’t sorted that out and I don’t think I have yet. I need to do that over the weekend with my parents.”
“That should be an interesting conversation,” she said. “You will have to tell me about it when you get back.”
We shared a hug or two before I collected my guitar and headed down the road to the apartment. I didn’t feel in the best condition and I could feel where the tears had dried on my face but I didn’t have time to worry about it.
When I got into the apartment the girls were cleaning up from breakfast and getting ready to go out.
“So what happened to you,” asked Carla. “We noticed you were missing. Has your relationship with Rebecca moved to the next level?”
“Rebecca and I won’t be moving to any other levels Carla. Rebecca wants a real woman and that is not exactly what I am.”
“Sorry Leslie,” Carla said as she reached for my hand. I thanked her and gave her a short hug.
“I will have to explain it some other time but right now I have to get to college.”
As I was going to my room MJ met me at my door and hugged me.
“If you want to talk later I am free this afternoon Leslie,” she said, then she kissed me on the cheek and I returned the kiss. She smiled at me in an understanding way then let me go. I held her cheek in my hand for a moment.
“Thanks for being understanding,” I said. She smiled at me and then went back to her room.
Now I felt like a sleaze ball. MJ may not have known what went on at Rebecca’s but I am sure she had an idea. She was the one who said we won’t tell anyone and pretend it didn’t happen but what I was doing didn’t seem exactly right by her.
I made up my mind to consider MJ in my dealings with other people in future. It was obvious to me that I had been rather self-centered by allowing people to take advantage of me, or was it me taking advantage of them, I am not sure.
Now I had to get dressed in beautiful women’s clothes again and I was in no mood to enjoy it, again. I didn’t have any clean summer dresses and I wore my jeans yesterday so I picked out a woolen business dress with tights and my 3” gladiator sandals. Not the most modern or sexiest clothing to choose but it was functional, comfortable and very feminine. I am glad Fiona picked it for me. It did feel sexy once I was wearing it, especially with nude tights.
I managed to get ready and get to class on time. I sat with Connie and Caroline as usual and Vic came over to congratulate me on a good show and ask if he could join us for break before he went to sit with Lawrence. I agreed of course.
At break once we got our coffee etc. Connie, Caroline and I sat with Vic, Lawrence, Dave and Jesus who as it turns out had all come to the show last night. Vic was very complementary about the music and everyone agreed that my sister Fiona was wonderful and the highlight of the night was Fiona singing ‘Little black submarines’ and dedicating it to me.
“And Fiona let us walk her to her car,” said Vic.
“It’s only 50 yards,” I said, “But thanks for looking after her.”
“Thank Lawrence,” said Vic. “I left the two of them talking as they seemed to be getting along really well.”
“So what were you talking about Lawrence?” I asked.
“About you and your family,” said Lawrence. “Don’t worry I didn’t kiss her or anything.”
“She is a big girl Lawrence. I am sure she has been kissed before and you don’t need my permission,” I said trying to cover up the fact that my sister knows about me and Lawrence didn’t. I wish I knew what they had said or to be more precise what Fiona had told Lawrence about me.
“Fiona said she would come down and join us at the beach on Saturday night,” said Lawrence.
“What,” I said. Lawrence had caught be by surprise. “I had assumed Fiona was coming home at the weekend with me.”
“Fiona said that it was your gig on the weekend, not hers. She wants to enjoy the last couple of hot weekends on the beach and she promised to bring her guitar,” said Lawrence.
That was a minor shock. It was almost like my sister would be replacing me at the beach with my friends while I face the music at home with my parents.
“So how long were you out there for?” I asked.
“About half an hour,” he said. “I like spending time with beautiful girls like you and your sister. Is that OK?”
“I guess so,” I said.
“She is going to pick me up here and give me a ride to the beach, although she did say she would probably bring a friend from her college.”
“I am jealous,” I said. “Sounds like you are going to have fun without me.”
As time for the next class was approaching we all got up and headed off for class, but as we left the table Lawrence hung back and then grabbed my arm. I turned to him a little agitated.
“It’s OK,” he said. “I understand.”
Now that concerned me. “Understand what?” I said.
“Fiona told me. I understand and I am not angry,” said Lawrence.
I thought about that for a second and looked at him with what must have been a bemused look. I had no idea what to say to him. I pulled my hand away and walked off. I was absolutely sure I was not going to ask him what Fiona had told him. This was getting a little out of control.
I got into class and did my best to pay attention but mind was elsewhere. I wanted to ask Fiona what she had said. Does he know I am a boy? There was no one here that I could talk to about it I would have to wait to call Fiona after class.
I told the others I needed to do something at lunch time and just walked out into the parking lot and sat under a shady tree and called Fiona. She didn’t answer so I texted her.
‘What did you say to him,’ I asked.
‘I told him your gender was confused when you were younger.’
“Why did you have to say anything? He didn’t need to know.’
‘He guessed there was something. He asked me why you might be wearing boys’ clothes and he was asking if your driver’s license said you were a boy.’
‘This could get all over the college.’
‘He said he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. He said he still likes you.’
‘He doesn’t know me at all. You told him that my gender was confused but that is a lie. I am a boy wearing a dress.”
‘I didn’t know what to tell him but I had to tell him something. I did the best I could at the time. I couldn’t ask you. I was waiting there with him hoping that you would come along and get me out of the situation.’
‘I was with Rebecca.’
‘I didn’t know that. I was waiting for you. He was nice and friendly to me but he was only interested in you. After half an hour I just had to leave.’
‘I am sorry Fiona. I thought you knew I was going up to Rebecca’s room.”
‘No, Sorry TTYL.’
Brilliant! Now I am gender confused. I guess there was some room for me to shape an answer from that condition but it was not what I wanted.
I was not exactly hungry but my stomach was not in 100% agreement with me. I needed food. I walked into the cafeteria hoping to avoid the normal crowd by going in the other end. I just grabbed a Caesar wrap and a coke and tried to sit down looking away from the door but before I could sit down Anders and Hazel waved for me to go over. I went to sit with them. At least it wasn’t Lawrence.
“So have you thought any more about the play Leslie?” asked Anders. Hazel was obviously very interested too.
“I can’t say I have put a lot of thought into it but I haven’t thought of a reason why I shouldn’t do it yet, apart from the amount of time I need to dedicate.”
“You will love it,” said Hazel reaching over the table to grab the back of my hand. “We can learn the parts together. I live only a minute’s walk from your apartment and learning things with someone is always more fun.”
Her smooth flawless skin with just a hint of make-up together with her striking features made her extremely attractive. This is not what I needed right now but I could quickly find myself in trouble with Hazel.
“Yes I understand,” I said, “But I can’t commit this moment. I have to go home to my parents this weekend but I promise I will give you an answer.”
At that moment Anders said he had to be somewhere and left me with Hazel.
“How is Rebecca?” she asked. No the most direct question but it was going to get me talking about Rebecca.
“She is fine,” I said, not wanting to give anything away.
“Are you two in a relationship?” she asked. That was much more direct and caught me a little off guard. I thought it best to answer with only the latest information that I have.
“Rebecca and I are good friends, but we don’t have any other type of relationship.”
“You seemed rather close last night Leslie.” She said.
I considered from that question that she may be wanting to make a pass at me. She was very attractive but I thought I should discourage her from any attempt at starting a relationship. I started talking quietly to her so no one else could hear.
“Hazel, as you know Rebecca is a lesbian and that makes us incompatible as lovers. I am interested in being her friend and I hope that is not a problem?”
Then I realized after I had said it that may not have been the smartest way to put it. But anyway, it was out there now.
“That is kind of blunt, but I don’t see why it should be a problem. As we are being blunt Leslie, I must have been mistaken in the times we have met because I was sure you found me attractive.”
“Yes it is obvious that you are a very attractive woman. I did notice that,” I said.
“But that is not exactly what I meant Leslie and I think you know it. Are you attracted to me or not?”
I couldn’t think of a reason to lie. I am pretty sure that Hazel can’t be homophobic.
“Yes I am attracted to you,” I said. “Is that a problem?”
“Well now I am totally confused,” said Hazel. “How the hell can attracted to me but you say you are not a lesbian.”
“Can we take this conversation somewhere else?” I asked. “I am not comfortable talking in these surroundings.”
She looked around the room then pointed to the garden outside. “Over there!” she said. We got up and went outside and found a bench under a tree for some shade and sat down. There was obviously no one in ear shot. We sat looking at each other but not touching.
“Leslie, you have got to explain this to me. How can you be attracted to me if you are not a lesbian?”
“OK let me put it this way. If you found a guy that was attracted to you and that guy said to you that he was not a lesbian.” She stopped me and put her hand across my mouth.
“You can’t be!” said Hazel. Then she took her hand down.
“Why not?” I asked. “Look I am going out on a limb here by telling you this and I hope it stays between you and me. There are very few people around here who know about me and I would like to keep it that way.”
“Why do you think you can tell me?” she asked.
“I am sure you understand homophobia and the reasons why this has to stay between us. I have also learned that I need to tell people what I am before I can develop a relationship with them.”
“So you think you are going to develop a relationship with me?” she asked.
“I think that is a nice idea but I don’t know,” I said, “but if we do this Romeo and Juliet thing I will probably have to kiss you, and I believe that most people would like to know if the person they are kissing is male or female.”
“That’s a good thing to do I guess.” She said, and then she held my hand and smiled at me. “I am not going to tell anyone. You can trust me.”
I thanked her and explained that I had no time to talk as I was going to class and then I needed to head home to see my parents. She said she would come to the show on Sunday but I explained that I would like to see her there but I would not have any time to speak on a show evening, but I might have a little time after the show. We exchanged numbers and I said I would try to call over the weekend.
After class most of my new friends headed for the cafeteria but I had no time for that so I went back to the apartment on my own. I decided that I could not face going home and walking in to see Mom and Dad in a dress, so I packed some girl’s and boy’s clothes in a suitcase including my dirty laundry, showered and changed into some boring old boys clothes and headed home in my little Honda, with my guitar.
I couldn’t believe how things could change in just a short time. This time yesterday I was dreaming about spending time alone with Rebecca, now she doesn’t want me, but it seems I may already have found another beautiful woman who does.
-
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Changing all those changes. Madeleine Peyroux
Starting College my way. Chapter 13.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 13.
This one's for the girl. Friday afternoon September 13th
I phoned my Mom to tell her I was leaving the apartment and that I would be home at about 7pm.
“How are you?” she asked gently.
“I’m fine Mom. I am just the same as when I left on Sunday.”
“Are you sure?” she asked. “If you don’t feel like driving and I am sure your Father could come and pick you up. I am sure this week has been a big strain on you.”
“No Mom I am just fine,” I said. “I am still the same person I was last week. I just wore different clothes for a few days.”
“So what are you going to look like when you come home?”
“Just the same Mom honestly. I got my ears pierced and my hair done differently but I am just the same. Today I am wearing the same clothes as when I left if that’s what you mean.”
“Please drive safely Leslie. We love you very much you know.”
“I know Mom and I love you too. I will be there at about 7pm depending on the rush hour traffic on the highway.”
“You could go the south route to the new 76. They say it’s safer Leslie.”
“I will be OK with my usual route Mom it’s OK. Everything is OK. I will see you at about 7pm.”
I made sure she was OK then hung up. I know her worrying is only a sign that she loves me but it can be a little much at times.
So, wearing cargo pocket shorts, two tee shirts and crocks, I packed my clothes, both types plus my laundry and my guitar into the car and headed home.
I still didn’t know what I was going to say when I got there. My plan was to tell the story of how I used to enjoy being dressed up in girls clothes by my sisters when I was a boy and how I have enjoyed dressing in my sisters clothes for years without anyone knowing about it. I am going to explain that I have kept my own collection of girl’s clothes and how when everyone was away from home I would get dressed and enjoyed being a girl for a short while.
I am then going to explain how I arrived at the apartment and the girls thought I was a girl so they accepted me, then the dean’s office called while I was not there and the girls in the apartment confirmed I was a girl because of my collection of girls clothes, and the fact that I looked like a girl.
Then I expected questions. The type and scope of questions could be endless but I knew there were some questions that I needed answers for before they asked me.
Did I want to become a girl full time for ever? How was I going to answer that I didn’t know. Being a girl full time involves hormones, surgery, counseling and many other things I am sure I don’t know about yet. That sounded scary.
Did I want to be a wife with a husband and give up all boy things? Definitely not right now! I have loved being with MJ and Rebecca over the last couple of days. How could I give that up?
Did I want to have sex with men? That was a difficult one. Could it be better than sex with a girl? I don’t know. I haven’t actually had full penetrating sex with a girl yet and I haven’t had any type of sex with a boy, unless you call kissing a boy sex. I know when I kissed Eden, MJ thought we were almost having sex. I find the thought of sex with a boy exciting, but was I just being curious? I don’t know.
Was I going to carry on college dressed as a girl? I think that has to be a big yes. I have found the last week wearing girl’s clothes and ‘being’ a girl to be so much more fun than I could possibly have than being a boy. I didn’t want to stop and how could I just change part way through.
Traffic was busy but still moved at a reasonable pace and I got home at about 7pm. When I drove through the gates and up the driveway the house seemed quieter than usual. There were no cars out front so my sisters were not home but I knew both Mom and Dad always parked in the garage. I picked up my stuff and went to the front door where I rang the bell before I opened the door and walked in.
Mom came over to me as soon as I dropped my stuff on the floor and hugged me tight. She started crying almost instantly. I hugged her back and gave her a minute to adjust and ease up her crying. Her arms were around my shoulders and my arms were around her waist. She is still a beautiful woman and I always enjoy her hugs. It’s just a little sad that she is crying.
She stepped back and held my face in her hands for a moment before she started grooming my hair.
“This must be a girl’s hairstyle,” she said. “It makes you look pretty. The diamond earrings look good on you too. Can we sit down and talk or do you want something to eat?”
“Right now I would like a drink and a beer would go down really good. It was not a difficult drive but it was long enough to make me a little weary. Where’s Dad?” I asked.
“He is sitting out back having a glass of wine by the pool.” Mom said as she went to the fridge to get me a beer. “We are trying to act normal and not make a fuss. Over the next couple of days we have a lot of talking to do but we have decided not to bombard you with questions as soon as you come home.”
She came to me with a beer in a glass. “Go say hello!” she said.
This was a very civilized way of dealing with things. I was ready for a barrage when I walked in the door. I reached for her hand and smiled at her, then I walked down the hall to the back of the house and out onto the pool deck.
Dad got up out of his chair as came to him. He hugged me tight for a lot longer than he usually does then pulled back and held my by the shoulders and looked me over.
“How are you?” he said. “You look healthy and happy and I hope you don’t mind me saying but you look more like Fiona than I remember.”
“That’s OK Dad,” I said. “Looking like Fiona I take as a complement. My sister has always been very pretty.”
I sat next to him and he started asking me about college and lecturers and the buildings and meeting new friends but he didn’t say anything about being a girl. After a few minutes I decided to ask him why.
“Dad, how come you haven’t asked about me going to college as a girl?”
“Because the first thing we want to do is show you that we love you Leslie.” He said. “We want to know how you are, how you enjoy school, how you like your roommates and everything else about you. Yes we want to know about the other thing, but first of all we love you and we want you to remain Leslie, our beautiful child.”
“I know you love me Dad. You keep on proving it. I thought me coming home like this would put you under a strain.”
“Yes there is some strain Leslie but provided you know that we love you now just as much as we always have, then we hope to take some of the strain away. We don’t want to push you into telling us before you are ready and we certainly don’t want to push you away.”
“Do you want me to talk about it now” I asked.
“I know we will be talking about it soon enough but it is not something I am looking forward to. It's like having a sore tooth pulled out. After it is gone I am sure everything will feel a lot better but I am not looking forward to the actual pulling.”
“Dad!” I said a little apprehensively. “I think it would be good for us all if I go upstairs and put on a dress and some make-up. Is that OK with you?”
He rolled his eyes and looked away and put his hand to his mouth like he wanted to bite his own finger. He took a few seconds to answer.
“Of course, please,” he said. “I would like to meet my new daughter.”
I am not totally sure that he was looking forward to it but the pulling teeth reference made sense. I got up and grabbed his shoulder for reassurance then I walked back into the house looking for Mom. She was in the kitchen.
“Look Mom,” I said walking into the Kitchen. “I honestly feel a bit silly walking around in baggy shorts like this after wearing girl’s clothes all week. I am going to go upstairs and put a dress on. Is that OK with you?”
She didn’t answer for a couple of seconds. “Can I come with you?” she asked.
I thought this was a strange request. “Why Mom?”
“Moms always like to help their daughters dressing no matter how old they are Leslie.”
“I am going to get a shower first Mom then you can come up OK?”
“Sure Leslie.” Now she smiled for the first time since I came in.
I headed up the stairs with my red suitcase with my clean clothes and a bag of dirty clothes over my shoulder. Once in my bedroom I looked through the clothes I could wear and I selected a black woven business dress to wear that Fiona selected for me. It was sleeveless and had a high neckline and the hem was just above the knee, but with the fitted shape of this dress and my corset I knew I would look very feminine but conservative.
I took my clothes into the bathroom and showered, covering my hair because I needed help with my hair if I washed it. I dried myself and put on panties, bra with breast forms and corset. Then I set about adding make-up. I had foundation on and had started doing my eyes in the bathroom mirror before Mom came knocking at the door. I let her in.
She looked me up and down as she came in. “You are definitely not the boy I remember!” she said obviously surprised at my new shape.
“There is a little cheating going on Mom, but underneath it’s still me.”
You know it didn’t feel one bit creepy or strange to have my Mom walk in while I was wearing a corset and bra. I wanted her to see how good I looked in them. I would probably be more embarrassed if she came in while I was wearing boy boxers.
“I was hoping to see you without a bra actually. Fiona said you have breasts.”
I took my Bra and breast forms off and placed them on the chair next to me. Mom looked at my breasts then she asked me to hold my arms extended in front of me and press my palms together. As I did this my Mom felt the breast tissue obviously trying to assess how much or what it was.
“You have breast tissue Leslie. I suspect it is gynecomastia but you will need to see a doctor about it.”
“What is gynecomastia Mom?”
“It is a condition where a boy or man grows breast tissue. There can be a few different reasons like a hormone imbalance or a reaction to some medication you once took. It could be other things but you do need to see a doctor to find out exactly what has caused it.”
“Do you think there might be something wrong Mom?”
“Honestly Leslie there must be something not quite right for you to get it, but it is a well know and well described condition. It may not require treatment, but it might. First you must see a doctor, but don’t worry about it now. I am pretty sure it won’t be urgent.”
“Should I make an appointment to see Doctor Polinski,” I asked.
“I think you should see a specialist so you can talk about your other condition at the same time.”
“What other condition Mom?” I asked.
“You gender condition Leslie,” she said.
“I don’t have a gender condition Mom, I am just enjoying being a girl,” I said.
Mom withdrew into herself for a moment like she was trying to phrase her reply.
“Leslie, I do not know why you have suddenly begun to dress as a woman. This need to dress as a woman I believe is a condition that should be discussed with a gender specialist who at the same time could discuss your breast condition.”
“Do you think there is something wrong with me Mom?”
“Leslie please don’t try to push me into saying something I don’t want to say. I will not use the words wrong and normal to discuss this. I will talk about your condition as is refers to you and your wellbeing.”
“So now you think I am not normal?”
“Don’t try to push me into using words that don’t apply Leslie.” Now she turned. It sounded like I was now in for one of Mom’s lectures.
“Let’s look at the word normal Leslie and how it would apply to our family.”
“Your dad has more hair that Robin Williams. It grows its way out of every piece of clothing we try to put on him. I could take him to get waxed all over but it would be growing back before I got him home. Is that normal?”
“What about me. I am tall and skinny and have no tits whatsoever. I doesn’t matter what I eat I can never put on any weight. I am pushing 50 and from the neck down I look like a child. Is that normal?”
“Look at your sister Dawn. She is the perfect normal shape for a woman except she has these massive breasts that make every man in every room she goes into turn around and stare. Is that normal? If it were normal they wouldn’t stare.”
“Normal is a word we use to describe the range of difference from the average, and you know that we are not all average but that does not mean that we are not normal. You are a mathematician Leslie so you understand standard deviation so are you under the bell curve or outside it. As far as I am concerned you are well under the bell curve and within the norms for what we expect a human being to be. You are not average Leslie but you are just another wonderful variation that proves how beautiful humans can be.”
She needed a hug after that so I gave her one. She cried in my arms a little. I wiped a tear from her eye with my thumb and I kissed her on the cheek. She kissed me on the lips. A beautiful mother’s kiss that I don’t remember getting for a while.
“Sounds like you have been saving that up for a while?” I said. “Thanks Mom. I knew you would always accept me but it feels rewarding to be spoken of in that way.”
“You are my precious child,” she said recovering her composure. “You are exactly what I expected and exactly what I wanted. You are Leslie Haigt. Now finish your make-up so we can see this beautiful woman you have been hiding from us for so long.”
I always knew that my parents loved me, but it was sure good to get that feeling reinforced every once in a while. Mom left me getting dressed so I completed my make-up and put special effort in trying to look perfect for them.
I tried to look as good as Fiona or Barbara because were my role models for elegance as I grew up. Dawn too but she did go through a little trashy period. I was trying to ensure that there wasn’t a single component of my make-up that you could point to for being out of place or noticeable. I wanted my make-up to complement what I had rather than creating something that I wasn’t. It looked pretty good to me but I wasn’t the judge.
I spent a little extra time tightening my corset and adjusting my boobs so I could look as absolutely feminine as possible for them. I put on a full length slip then stepped into the dress.
On a hanger this dress didn’t look like much, but when I put it on it fit my shape exactly. It was a tiny bit tight under my boobs and I could feel the form fitting way it followed my shape down to my waist. OK so I understand that it would not fit me unless I wore the corset but it was still me under there and it felt wonderfully feminine.
I didn’t wear tights but I put my heeled gladiator sandals on then I went back to my room to get some jewelry. I could see Mom sitting in her bedroom looking down the hall obviously waiting to catch a glimpse.
“Leslie,” she called. I went into her room to see her.
“Can I offer you some jewelry?” she asked.
“What do you mean Mom, offer?”
“I have lots of jewelry that I don’t wear and I know it can be expensive for a young person. You can have some of mine to borrow or to have, whatever makes you feel comfortable. I have a beautiful single string of pearls and matching earrings that you can wear with that black dress.”
She showed me. They were beautiful. I put them on.
“I also have a couple of spare watches that you can have,” and she handed me a beautiful gold Seiko watch.
I felt like the prodigal child returning to be offered the gifts that the other children did not get.
“Are you sure Mom? Won’t this upset the others?”
“We have been giving our daughters beautiful jewelry for years Leslie. You are the one that missed out. Just borrow them for now and we can discuss it another time.”
She also gave me a bracelet for my other wrist. I hugged her and thanked her. I felt like a million dollars. Then I started crying. This was a little overwhelming. I expected to me poked, prodded and questioned and all I get is flattery, support and gifts.
“Just take your time and make yourself comfortable them come and join us downstairs. We are going to have dinner now. Barbara and Dawn with Mark are here.”
I felt a slight flutter in my stomach. Well if I wasn’t nervous before then I should be now. My Dad, Barbara and Mark had not seen me as a girl before. But this was not my first big reveal. I would say I was slightly apprehensive rather than nervous.
OK so this was it. Final preparations included pit stop in the bathroom then fix my make-up and a final look in the mirror to verify that I looked perfect.
You know even though I do say it myself I looked pretty damn hot. I reminded myself of Martina McBride in an old photo I used to like. OK so I may not be as pretty as Martina McBride but I still looked good. With my confidence boosted I walked from my room, down the hallway and started to descend the stairs.
Our stairs are made from oak with no carpet, so as there was no music playing anyone downstairs could hear as I started to walk down the stairs. They call came from the kitchen and dining room to see me.
Dad came first from the kitchen followed by Mom. Dad came right to the foot of the stairs. Dawn came next holding Mark’s hand followed by Barbara who came over and held Mom’s arm. As I got to the bottom of the stairs Dad reached up for my hand.
“The moment we have been waiting for, may I present my beautiful youngest daughter Leslie!”
With that I stepped off the stairs and stood in front of everyone. I turned to Dad first and wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. Mom came over to me then and gave me a quick hug then Barbara came over and rather meekly held out her hands to me. I think she was on the verge of crying but she held it back. I gave her a long hug.
“It’s not going to be easy you know,” said Barbara. “Fiona is not here so I am going to get you mixed up with her.”
“That’s OK Barbara,” I said. “If you mistake me for Fiona I will take it as a complement.”
“You are just as pretty as any of us you know Leslie,” she said. “Every moment you stand there you confirm what we used to say when you were little; that you were Fiona’s identical twin just delayed a year.”
“I know. Back at college a lot of people have remarked on it already. They have been asking how to tell us apart.”
“So how do we tell?”
“Come on Barbara. You must be able to tell us apart.”
“I hope I can, but right now I look at you and I see Fiona with short hair. That is what Dawn said when she met you on the street. Fiona with short hair.” Dawn, Mark and Mom and Dad were surrounding me now.
“So give your prettiest sister a hug now Leslie!” said Dawn and I did. It was a little difficult to get close to her now because now we both had tits, but somehow we managed. Dawns tits were big but they were squishy. “Mark wants a hug too Leslie.”
I looked at him but I wasn’t sure he wanted a hug from me.
“Hug the both of you,” she commanded. “My sister and my husband are going to be friends, just as Mark is with my other sisters.”
Mark gave me a hug but he didn’t kiss me on the cheek like the others did. “Nice to meet you again Leslie,” he said while he smiled at me and looked me over.
“While you are there Mark give Barbara a hug too.” So he did.
“After dinner we are going out the four of us Leslie,” said Dawn. “We are going down to the Fox Hollow for a drink or two. Mark is DD.
“But I can’t drink so I could drive,” I said.
“But Fiona can drink and she has been a regular there during the summer. Just remember your name is Fiona and we don’t have a problem,” said Dawn, ever the schemer.
“Let’s go have dinner everyone,” said Dad, so we all moved into the dining room. Mom had made lots of different salads and ingredients spread around the table and we were instructed to dig in. I went straight for the spinach and added peppers, olives, onions and a whole host of other stuff.
Dad made sure we all had a glass of wine and Mom came around with some hot salmon and chicken to top the salads with and we all had a good feast. Afterwards there were chocolate goodies which is always my favorite part. There were other sweet things there too but I never look at them if I see my favorite chocolate.
When the feeding frenzy had died down, the conversation died down a little and Mom turned to me. “We didn’t ask you or prepare you for this but we thought this might be a good time to tell us what happened Leslie. Do you feel comfortable talking about this to us all?”
“It’s OK Mom, I can handle it. I kind of prepared myself for something like this on the way up.”
I poured myself a little more wine, cleared my throat which seemed to get everyone’s attention, and then I started my story.
“This story starts when I was very small. I do not know how old I was but one of the earliest memories of being happy involves me wearing a dress and playing with my sisters. I don’t remember putting the dress on or asking to be in a dress, but I was in a dress. I remember it because my sisters were all wearing dresses and it made me happy to be like my sisters.”
“I didn’t ever care what I was doing, provided it was with my sisters. I felt safe and loved and happy when I could be with my sisters. This was especially true of Fiona. I grew up so close to Fiona that we used to have to move each other out of the way to do the simplest things. It seems at time that I grew up touching Fiona.”
“Even now when I go to sleep at night, I sleep best when I imagine Fiona next to me. Have you ever noticed that when we are in the same room, especially when we sit on a sofa, that Fiona sits so close to me that I have no place to put my arm. That’s what safe and happy feels like to me. Someday I hope to feel that way about someone else, and that will be the person I will want to spend the rest of my life with.”
“I also remember photographs of when we used to play girls games together. In the photo’s there were sometimes two Fiona’s and no Leslie. Honest it was like that sometimes. I was the other Fiona, the one with the short hair.”
“So you get the picture. I really enjoyed wearing dresses and playing with my sisters, but somewhere along the way I had to go to school and I was told that I had to wear boy’s clothes and play with boy’s toys because I was a boy. This was not a terrible painful thing to do. Somewhere inside me there is a boy too and some boys stuff I found really fun, it’s just that I couldn’t do those things when I was with my sisters because they wanted to do girl’s things.”
“There was a period when I could do both. I used to go to school and do boys things with my buddies and have fun. I would also come home and play with by boys stuff and once in a while one of the girls or my Mom and Dad would come and play with me which was great.”
“But then there were other times when the girls used to dress me in their clothes and play girl’s things with me which was also great. But then something happened. My Mom and Dad started telling me that I was too big to be wearing girl’s clothes and I should be playing with my boy buddies more often, so the dressing in girl’s clothes happened less and less often till eventually it just stopped.”
“I don’t remember when it stopped, but I do remember missing it. I would make myself available and hang out where the girls were but they just never asked me. I remember asking if we could dress up a couple of times but whoever it was said we can’t do that anymore and that was that, but I never stopped thinking about it.”
“I still had a close relationship with Fiona at this time. There were things we did together especially playing board games with the rest of the family. Sometimes we could get all six of us around a Monopoly game and the best part about playing Monopoly was sitting next to Fiona. I always had my best games when I sat next to Fiona and I was always just as happy that Fiona won if I couldn’t because I always thought we were a team together.”
“After the dressing up stopped I never forgot it. It just rested in the back of my mind waiting to get out. It took a few years before it go out again.”
“Leslie!” my Dad interrupted me. “Are you saying that there was a girl inside you, all this time?”
“Yes I am. I didn’t always recognize it as a girl inside me trying to get out. I thought of it as a dark secret that no one wanted to know about. I had been told that it was wrong and I shouldn’t do it and I did what I was told, but now I think of it as a girl hidden inside me.”
“But I was living in a house with 4 women. There were women’s clothes everywhere, so I started to wear women’s clothes when nobody was looking, and as I got older and more responsible I got left on my own in the house more often. I used to find girls clothes in the house to wear.”
“Fortunately there was always the closet in the spare room where my sisters used to keep their old dresses and stuff. There were occasions when I raided my sister bedrooms but it was no often and when I started working part time jobs, I often had money to but my own things.”
“Every couple of months for the last few years I would make a shopping trip into Philly or King of Prussia or somewhere similar. I would go to buy girls clothes have lunch and go home. Sometimes I would buy myself something, then go to a movie, but I before I went into the movie I would go to the bathroom and put whatever I had bought on under my regular clothes, then watch the movie. No one ever noticed and it made me feel more like a girl.”
“I do believe my sisters noticed that I was using their clothes, but you all decided not to confront me,” I said directing my comment towards Mom and Dad.
“That’s true,” said Dad. “I went to see a Gender Identity Specialist in Philly one time. I told him what we knew about your dressing. He told me not to turn it into a problem. There are many different variations on the need to cross dress he said. He could not know which one it was. If it is simply sexual gratification and it is not hurting anyone then why not leave it alone.”
“If it is a more serious case of gender identity disorder then we would see some signs. He said that depression is the most serious side effect of a gender identity disorder and that if I was happy and well-adjusted then I probably wasn’t in need of intervention. He persuaded me Leslie that if you had a problem and especially if you were depressed then maybe some sort of intervention could be discussed.”
My Dad continued. “He also told me that if we love you unconditionally and showed that to you often, that you would come to us with your problems and concerns. He said there would be signs and that you would find a way to tell us, but we never saw any signs, so we didn’t do anything.”
“I do feel the unconditional love,” I said, “but I also remember that it was wrong to wear women’s clothing so I thought the right thing to do was to hide it. I just got into a pattern and it carried on till recently.”
“Listening to your story Leslie made me realize that there was one thing I did wrong that I wish I could do over,” said my Dad. “Listening to you now I never knew about just how much time you spend in girl’s clothes when you were younger.”
“When I spoke to the Gender Identity Specialist I dismissed that part as unimportant. I don’t even know if I mentioned it. Therefore there was a big piece missing from his puzzle and therefore he gave us a path forward without knowing the entire story. This may be why you were so good a hiding it from us because the ‘wrong’ of it had been emphasized more than I realized.”
“Water under the bridge Dad,” I said. “So that brings you up to the moment when I went to find myself an apartment in Mount Laurel.”
“The University sent me a newspaper with all of the advertised rooms in Mount Laurel and the surrounding areas. I selected some nice sounding apartments and made some appointments over the phone. I didn’t realize that the adds were in two sections. I was reading from the girl’s section. A fact that was pointed out to me after I moved into the apartment.”
“Listen before I go too far with this,” I interrupted myself. “let’s get some things straight. I know I sound like a girl sometimes and even more often I get mistaken for a girl because I look like one. This used to upset me because everyone said I was a boy and I shouldn’t look and sound or look like a girl, but it’s OK now. I take it as a complement now. That is all part of the story because sometimes, before last week, I thought I was just being a normal boy.”
“Leslie, that way you talk now it sounds like you are saying that you were a boy last week but now you are a girl. Do you actually believe that?” asked my Dad.
“I must admit that this is still new to me Dad, but yes. I feel like I am a girl now, and I don’t want to pretend to be a boy any more.”
“But what about your boy friends from high school? What are you going to tell them? Have you spoken to any of them since?” asked my Mom.
“No I haven’t. I didn’t really have a best friend apart from Fiona. They were all just guys who already had best friends that I hung around with. I will have to speak to them some time, but I haven’t considered that yet.”
“So I showed up at the first apartment. The girl’s in it were really nice. So there is my first mistake. I didn’t know that the apartments were divided up into girls and boys. The girls in the apartment seemed to like me and they said I would be welcome to stay with them. They thought I was a girl. They were assuming that I just dressed badly and one of them thought I might be a lesbian trying to look like a boy.”
“I was going to stop you there,” said Barbara, “because you said girl’s apartment, but then I thought were else would you be living when you look like you do?”
“Exactly,” I said. “I couldn’t believe my luck. I just thought that they were nice girls accepting of a smart, well presented young boy who needed a place to stay. I must admit that I decided not to tell you guys about it because I didn’t know if you would like me staying in an apartment with 3 girls.”
“The following day I went back to the apartment with some things, which included a red suitcase of my own girl’s clothes that I wanted to move without you guys knowing anything about it. Even while I was there one of my roommates, MJ, stands for Mary Jane, asked me if I mind being called a pretty boy. My sisters and other people had used that expression about me many times so I thought nothing of it at the time, but I have since found out that when one lesbian woman says that to another, it is making a pass. She thought I was a girl trying to look like a boy.”
“So the day after that I stayed home, but at the apartment the dean of admissions office had called the girls in the apartment and asked to confirm if the Leslie Haigt that the girls had registered as being a roommate, was actually a girl because their records showed me as a boy, so they looked in my suitcase and found girls clothes.”
“Why didn’t they just call your old school?” said my Dad.
“Because it was Saturday,” I continued. “The admissions office said they would correct the records, but if there was a problem then my roommates should call back. The admissions office also said that there was not a single room available for a boy for ten miles in any direction. That would play a roll later.”
“After we were all here on Saturday, I left here Sunday just a 19 year old boy heading to university for the first time. When I got into the apartment and started settling in, the girls started asking some strange questions to find out if I was a boy or a girl without asking me directly. It was kind of odd but eventually I got the picture. So I told them I was a boy, then I had a decision to make.”
“These are the facts. Let’s see what solutions you could all come up with.”
“I was in a girl’s only apartment. All of the boy’s apartments were full for miles around. The admissions office had been told I was a girl and had changed my records. I had a suitcase full of my girls’ clothes in my bedroom and I love wearing girl’s clothes and I could easily look like a girl. The girls in the apartment refused to allow a boy to stay in their apartment, but if I admitted to them that I wanted to be a girl and dressed the whole time as a girl, then I could stay with them.”
“So what did you do?” said Barbara.
I lifted my hands above the table, flipped open my palms and looked at her.
“You told them that you wanted to live full time as a girl.”
“Sure did!”
“So why didn’t they call the dean’s office and have you thrown out?”
“I guess they like me!”
“And you have been going to school every day dressed as a girl?”
“You bet. It’s marvelous.”
“Doesn’t anyone at the school say anything?”
“Like what. The dean’s office think that someone checked M instead of F and they corrected it. Everyone thinks I am a girl.”
“So what happens if someone finds out?”
“Find out what. I am a college student. There is nothing in the admissions information telling me how to dress. My student card doesn’t even have gender on it. What rules am I breaking?”
“So what happens when someone kisses you?” said Barbara.
“I like being kissed. What’s the problem?”
“Now you are being flippant Leslie,” my dad said. “The silly girl side of you is coming out now. What happens when a boy wants to kiss you and you want to kiss him?”
“I have made up my mind that I will never kiss anyone who does not know my condition.”
“What condition?” said Dawn.
“The fact that I am a boy underneath.” I said. “If I kiss a boy and he thinks that I am a girl then I could get in serious trouble, up to and including a good beating.”
“So what about that boy you kissed on Monday night? said Dawn.”
“OK so I made one mistake, but I apologized and told him I can’t see him again.”
“So what did he say when you told him you were a boy?”
“I didn’t tell him I was a boy Dawn, I said I was sorry but I can’t see him anymore.”
“Honestly Leslie this sounds dangerous,” said my Mom. “You have already kissed one boy and you have only been there 5 days. You will have to promise to stay away from boys and concentrate on your school work.”
I am definitely not going to mention the other people I have kissed. “I am going to concentrate on my school work, playing guitar with Fiona and my dramatic society gig.”
“OK that’s another wrinkle,” said Dawn. “What is the dramatic society gig?”
“The dramatic society is doing a play and they want me to play a part.”
“What part,” asked Dawn.
I was not going to tell her. That would open up another can of worms. “Don’t know yet. I will find out next week.”
“So I think we have questioned Leslie enough for now,” said Dawn. “Can we take her out to the Fox Hollow for a drink?”
Dad and Mom looked at each other before they said anything. “You 3 will have to take care of her. She has never been there before and she is still a little under age.”
“We will Mom,” said Dawn and Barbara together.
Dawn dragged Barbara into I into the powder room while Mark went for the car. Dawn and I started to touch up our make-up in the mirror while Barbara stood behind us.
“This is insane,” said Barbara behind us. “This feels exactly like me, Dawn and Fiona going out together like we did a couple of weeks ago, except that Fiona is now Leslie. I know it’s you Leslie, but I can’t stop seeing Fiona.”
“You can call me Fiona if you want Barbara if it makes you feel any better,” I said.
“We will both be calling you Fiona because Leslie is not old enough to drink and Fiona is well known there and they know she just turned 21. You will have to remember Leslie that if anyone says to you ‘Hi Fiona how have you been?’ you must answer like you know who they are and you are glad to see them.”
“This is going to be crazy. I have to pretend to be Fiona all night?”
“You certainly do Leslie, and from what you said earlier you will love it.”
I knew she was right. We went outside and got into Mark’s car and headed down the road to the Fox Hollow Pub and Eatery.
----------------
This story has absolutely nothing to do with Martina McBride, apart from the fact that the author has had a tiny crush on her for the last 20 years, and maybe Leslie has a very minor resemblance to Martina.
Martina McBride - This One's For The Girls
Starting College my way. Chapter 14.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 14.
Fox Hollow. Friday night September 13th
We got in the car and Mark began to drive us to the Fox Hollow Pub and Eatery. I sat in the back of Marks’ Jeep Grand Cherokee with Barbara. It wasn’t a new car but it was still nice.
I asked Barbara, “what do you think of me becoming a girl?”
“You know it is really strange Leslie but I feel like you have finally come home again. I missed my extra little sister and when you had to be a boy going to school and I was disappointed because part of me treated you as Fiona’s twin sister.”
“Me too,” I said. “There were times when I so much wanted to be Fiona’s twin sister that every time anyone would say make a wish, then to be Fiona’s twin sister is what I wished for. Fortunately Fiona would snuggle up to me so often that it made me feel better, but I was missing something for so long, I feel like I have it back now.”
“You know Barbara, Fiona told me that you used to sneak into my bed and cuddle me. I know that Fiona did it a lot, but she says that sometimes she would come to my bedroom and there would be no room for her because you were already in my bed with me.”
“Well we all like to sleep next to someone sometimes,” said Fiona. “Mom and Dad have each other but also Dad snores and Mom has restless legs. Dawn and I would often sleep in each other’s beds, but as she got older she kept inconsistent bedtimes. You and Fiona would sleep together like twins and when there was enough room I would like to join you both.”
“It was always wonderful to see you and Fiona asleep together because you both smile in your sleep like two little angels. Last winter when I had finished uni and Fiona had just started, I occasionally came into your room and slept beside you for a while, but I always left before you woke up and I don’t think you ever realized it.”
“I remember many times waking thinking that it feels like Fiona has been with me all night but she couldn’t have because she is in Philly at her Dorm.”
“That was probably me,” said Barbara.
“So next time stay in bed till I wake up!”
“OK,” she said.
We pulled into the parking lot of the Fox Hollow. The pub looked to be converted from a huge old house surrounded by big trees. The lights from the windows looked very warm and friendly but as we stepped out of the car I could feel a chill on my bare arms and legs. Perhaps I should have work tights?
Inside the pub was warm and friendly. The walls were white and there was lots of exposed oak framework giving the appearance of and old English house although I got the feeling that some of the rooms were new and only looked like they were old. There were red patterned carpets on the floor and all of the oak furniture was trimmed in tan leather.
We attracted lots of attention as we walked in. Dawn led the way of course and everyone likes to look at Dawn, even the women, but I think Barbara and I got some admiring long glances too.
We found a partially private alcove near the far end of the room. The seats were raised and we could see over the heads of most everyone in the room, and most everyone could look down the room and see us. Mark came down the room a few moments after we were seated and drew some admiring glances for himself. He is a very handsome man. Dawn has good taste.
As we sat down my phone rang. The picture of Eliot, one of my guitar playing buddies from high school was calling. I answered it.
“Hey Elliot.”
“Hey Leslie. I called your house and your Mom told me you were home this weekend. What are you doing?”
“I am out with my sisters. Where are you?”
“I am at Fox Hollow with my family having a meal. Do you want to do something tomorrow?”
I wave of panic swept across me as I found out that my friend Eliot was somewhere in the pub close to me, but then I realized that Eliot told me he had a gay cousin that he occasionally hung out with. I decided I should take the chance and start telling my friends.
I resumed talking to Eliot. “Are you homophobic?” I asked him.
Barbara’s and Dawn’s attention picked up what I was saying.
“No, not at all. You know my cousin is gay and we hang out. You have met him.”
“Good,” I said. “I am just checking. Listen to me Eliot!”
“What Leslie, I am listening to you.”
“I have something I need to show you. It’s a secret that not many people know but you are my friend so I want you to know OK?”
“OK Leslie I get it. What’s the problem?
“I am here at Fox Hollow. Will you meet me at the front door right now?”
“Right now?” he said, “OK,”, and I hung up.
“What’s happening,” said Dawn and Barbara together.
“I am just going to meet a friend from high school.”
“Dressed like that. You are crazy,” said Dawn.
“This should be fun,” I said.
I got up to go back to the front door. Dawn and Barbara got up and followed me but stayed back so they could see from a distance.
Elliot is a kind boy, a few months older than me. A little taller than me with long brown hair to his shoulders, he was looking quite handsome today wearing a white tee shirt under a jacket.
Eliot got to the doorway ahead of me and stood looking around. I stood in the entrance about six feet from him and looked at him. He ignored me and looked past me into the restaurant. Now that I was wearing heels I was about the same size as him. He gave me a couple of glances as he was looking around but obviously didn’t recognize me.
“Eliot,” I said and just looked at him.
“Hello,” he said looking at me with a kind of blank what’s going on look on his face.
“Eliot.” I said again. He looked directly at me, then it clicked. He got this funny twitch then bounced back against the wall.
“What the fuck!” he said looking into my eyes like I was the ghost of Christmas past.
“What do you think Eliot?” I asked.
“Fuck me Leslie what have you done?”
“That’s no way to treat a friend Eliot. You should say something nice to a girl.”
“But the last time I looked Leslie you were a boy.”
“Shhh, Eliot please don’t say that too loud. Please remember that it’s only a month ago you were the one who told me I looked like a girl.”
“But Jesus Leslie this is different. You are a girl now, but how can you be?”
“I was always a girl Eliot. I have just been pretending to be a boy, but it’s a long story and I can’t tell you now but I will tell you tomorrow if you want.”
I was still out on a limb here but I knew that Eliot was a good guy and I thought he might enjoy some fun.
“Hey Eliot,” I said. “Do you want to introduce me to your family? You could tell them I am your girlfriend.”
“They would never believe I have a girlfriend as pretty as you.”
“They will if I kiss you,” I said.
“Fuck Leslie. Now you want me to kiss you.”
“Just a little fun Eliot. You will totally shock you family and you never know you might enjoy it.
“You are not gay are you?” asked Eliot.
“Do I look like I’m gay,” I asked him.
“Whatever gay looks like you don’t look it,” said Eliot.
“Just believe you are kissing a pretty girl and we can talk about it tomorrow,” I said.
“But I would be kissing my buddy!” he said.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Well do you want to kiss me or not Eliot?”
“Er yeh I kindof do! But what would I call you?”
“Leslie sounds like a good name to me,” I said.
“OK Leslie,” he said.
“This feels fucking weird Leslie!”
“No it isn’t Eliot. You are just a boy who wants to kiss a pretty girl. I am pretty aren’t I”
“You are fucking gorgeous Leslie.”
“OK,” I said, “so lead me to your family.” I slipped my hand in his and he led me into the dining room. As we passed Dawn and Barbara their jaws dropped in surprise and I smiled and waved at them. They had no idea what was happening.
Eliot stopped by his family’s table and I didn’t recognize any of them.
“Hi Mom,” he said. “I didn’t know she was going to be here but I want to introduce you to my girlfriend Leslie.”
There were six people at the table and their jaws all dropped in unison. I did kind of a little curtsy, smiled and waved my fingers at everyone. The big guy nearest me stood up and offered his hand. He was about 6’-4” and 300 lbs with a light brown beard. I guess it was his Dad.
“Oh hi,” he said as I looked up to meet his gaze. “Nice to meet you Leslie.”
There was a woman at the other end of the table who I am guessing was Eliot’s Mother couldn’t move because the chairs were blocking her in. She spoke next. “We always assumed you were a boy Leslie. Eliot never actually said you were his girlfriend to us.”
“I usually dress more like a boy anyway. Mostly we are just friends but he wanted to tell you about me.”
The pretty girl about 12 next to her father asked. “Will you come and visit us Leslie?”
“I would like to but I am at university in New Jersey. I am only home for a quick visit with my parents. Maybe at Christmas or something.”
“Would you like to sit with us Leslie?” The bigger brother next to Eliot asked.
“I can’t sorry. I am here with my sisters.” I turned around towards the door and waved to Dawn and Barbara. They waved back.
“I have to go now,” said. “Come and visit me tomorrow Eliot.”
Then I quickly put my arms around his head hand kissed him slowly on the lips before he could change his mind. I felt his arms go around my waist and he opened his lips just a little so I slipped my tongue in and it touched his. I pulled back and we let go. He had this astonished look on his face that I actually found pleasing.
I looked at him smiling. “I have to go so I will see you tomorrow Eliot.” I said then I kissed him on the cheek, turned around and walked away towards a shocked looking Dawn and Barbara.
I walked back to a stunned Barbara and Dawn and we walked back to our seats in the bar.
“What on earth was that Leslie?” asked Barbara.
“Oh we were just having some fun with his family. They knew Eliot and I hung around together, but they just didn’t know I was a girl.”
“But Leslie you’re!” Barbara didn’t complete her sentence.
“We know what I am,” I said. “But they don’t. They will be very impressed that their son, brother whatever has such a pretty girlfriend.”
“You will totally mess him up. He will have a crush on you if he doesn’t have one already.”
“Look I know I won’t turn him to the dark side if he isn’t already that way inclined,” I said.
“You don’t know the power of a pretty face and you right now are as pretty as any woman in here. You may already have messed him up for life,” said Dawn.
“Dawn, Barbara and Fiona,” a deep voice right behind me interrupted us. “I can’t believe no one has brought you ladies drinks yet. I can guess what Dawn and Barbara want but Fiona you always seem to be trying something different.”
“Oh hey Ralph great to see you again,” said Barbara and Dawn.
I turned around to find this attractive heavy set man maybe 40ish with short blonde hair and a light beard standing next to me.
“Oh Hi Ralph,” I said and I opened up my arms to hug him and he bent down to kiss me on the cheek and I kissed his neck. He smelled like he had been working hard.
“A hug from Fiona!” he said. “I feel honored.”
“You deserve it Ralph,” I said.
“This is my husband Mark,” said Dawn. Mark held out his hand to Ralph and they shook.
“I think you have been here before Mark am I right?” asked Ralph.
“A few times,” said Mark, “but sometimes the sisters come here on their own and leave me to do the house work,” said Mark.
“Housework,” said Dawn, “just as if you would do any house work!”
“Red wine merlot or cab sav please Ralph,” I said.
“You said you didn’t like red wine last week Fiona!” said Ralph.
“That was last week,” I said.
“Don’t worry Fiona I will find you a good one. Are you ladies going to be singing tonight?” he asked the group of us.
I wanted to jump in and ask questions but I didn’t know what had been going on.
“We might be able to find a song to do. We can always persuade Fiona to sing and play at the drop of a hat,” said Dawn.
Ralph went off for the drinks so Dawn moved closer and started asking question.
“So when do you start getting so confident and outgoing Fiona,” she asked. I have never seen you like this before. The young person that I remember would stand in a corner, kick the carpet and say nothing.”
“I think it is the power of the dress,” I said. “I have never felt so alive so free and so unrestrained, and so attractive. When I was, you know before, I felt like nobody was interested. Maybe you three but none of your friends were interested. I hated being the odd person out. Also the age thing got in the way.”
“I had friends from school but many of them were nerds and we would play video games on line, maybe play some guitar and stuff. We had out mountain bikes too and we would bike all over the place. Eliot is one of those friends.”
Ralph came over with the drinks and we thanked him.
“Hey er, Fiona.” Mark asked. “I know what goes on in high school. I was a little puny when I was younger and got bullied, but I had my growth spurt early and became a bit of a jock. Did you ever get bullied because you were small and let’s face it a little feminine?”
“I had my own private bodyguard,” I told them. “When we lived in town before we moved out here we lived next door to Alan Buttonfield. We kind of grew up together and went to kindergarten, primary, middle school then high school together. We didn’t hang out a lot but every once in a while he would call me up and we would hang out.”
“He was always bigger, stronger and faster than me but he was still my friend. When the school bullies tried to pick on me he always stepped in. Nobody picks on him. He is on a football scholarship to Penn State.”
“So when did you last see Alan?” asked Dawn.
“About a month ago. We had a couple of beers down at Bullfrog Lake one hot night.”
“Just you and Alan Butterfield, down at Bullfrog Lake one night. Did you kiss him?”
“Let me get this straight.” I said. “Leslie the boy was never gay. He never thought about kissing boys until I put on a dress. Everything is different now of course.”
“But we know you have been wearing dresses for years. Did you never think about it then?” asked Barbara.
“I try not to get things too jumbled up in my mind. Back then when I was doing things on my own and nobody knew. It was like a fantasy that I never thought would come true. None of that was real, but this is real. This is me and I am a girl now and I am never going back again.”
Just someone called my name. “Hey Fiona!” I looked over and there was a tall blonde good looking guy walking towards me. “Hey Fiona,” he said. “You told me you weren’t coming home this weekend.” Then he put his arms right around my and gave me a massive hug and he kissed me on the neck right under my ear. I got shivers all over, but then I realized that Barbara was pulling him away from me and they disappeared out of the front door. The aroma of his beautiful cologne hung around me for a moment.
“What on earth was that?” I said.
“”That was Andy,” said Dawn. “One of Fiona’s boyfriends.”
“What do you mean one of her boyfriends?”
“She has a couple of guys she is seeing. Neither of them is serious right now and she doesn’t know which one to pick. Don’t worry the other one lives in Philly so he won’t be here tonight.”
“She never tells you about any of her boyfriends,” said Dawn. “It embarrasses her for some reason. It’s not just you, she won’t talk to dad about her boyfriend’s either. She is very shy about some things.”
“She has never ever mentioned to me that she has ever had a boyfriend,” I said.
“She has had plenty, believe me. There are a couple of her ex-boyfriends in this room.”
“You know,” I said. “I have a feeling tonight she was seeing that guy from my class who I kissed earlier in the week, Lawrence. Maybe she now has 3 boyfriends. We best not speak of it in front of Andy then.”
Barbara and Andy came back in the room. Both of them smiling. I could only guess what Barbara had said to him.
“Fiona,” he said, “I am really happy to see you. I do see now that you are wearing your hair shorter today and maybe your chin is a little more pointed, but you are just as pretty as you have always been, maybe even prettier. You remember that I usually take you home from here and I hope you will let me take you home again tonight.”
“Andy I got it covered tonight,” said Mark.
“It’s OK Mark.” I said. “I might let Andy take me home. We might find something interesting to talk about on the trip.”
“Fiona you are being a little wicked tonight,” said Dawn.
“It’s a short drive home,” I said. “We can’t get into too much trouble, unless we run out of gas or something.”
“But I have plenty of Gas Fiona,” said Andy.
“Then you will have to come with another excuse,” I said. Andy looked at me like the gears were turning in his head and he was planning something.
“Are you going to sing tonight Fiona like you usually do on Fridays?” he asked.
“Andy you do realize that I have never actually been here before. I don’t know what the set up is.”
“Well I was told by a close family member of yours that you sing a lot together at times,” said Andy.
Barbara explained. “Around about now Fiona, Roger Teller, an old friend of Mom and Dad’s plays the electric keyboards in the big room and can play almost anything you can name, provided it’s not too modern.”
“Last time we were here we said we would do ‘Shimmy like my sister Kate,” said Dawn.
“Your kidding,” I said. “I haven’t sung that since we were little girls.”
“Well we are doing it tonight,” she said. “We have been practicing the words and the dance. You could probably remember the steps if you tried.”
“Oh my goodness I probably can. I used to love doing that song.” I said.
It was right about then that we could hear the music start. The keyboard player was obviously good. Although he did start with some older music, but most everybody knew the song. He was playing ‘fly me to the moon’ without singing but he sounded like he had a double bass player with him. He must be playing one of those bass keyboards with his feet.
“I usually sing while playing a guitar,” I said.
“He always has one with him,” said Barbara. “He loves it when people get up and play with him, and remember he knows you Fiona.”
“I will think of something to play,” I said.
Ralph came over with another tray of drinks. “I have saved you guys a table off to the side of the stage in the big room,” he said. “You had better get over there because I don’t know how long I can hold it because the room is filling up.”
“We will head over soon,” said Dawn.
“We didn’t order more drinks Ralph,” said Barbara.
“These are from Ed Green at the bar,” Ralph said indicating towards the far end of the bar where there were a god of guys and one of the was waving at us while the rest looked on.”
“Oh Ed is a real nice guy,” said Barbara who was waving back at Ed.
“Have you gone out with him yet?” asked Mark.
“I had lunch with him the other day,” said Barbara.
“Oh now all the secrets come out. No one tells me anything! I feel left out.” I said.
“Well maybe we will start telling you thing now that you look a little different. We won’t leave you out any more,” said Dawn.
We finished our first drinks then picked up our second and headed around the bar towards the big room. On the way past Ed Green stopped us and Barbara put her arm around him, reached up and kissed him on the cheek.
“You girl’s getting ready to sing?” asked Ed and the guys with him supported him in his question.
“We have a couple of things lined up,” said Dawn. “Fiona is going to do something first.”
“First,” I said. “Who said I was going first?”
“You know the most stuff Fiona,” said Dawn. “You’re the real singer.”
“Shit!” I said. “I might need another glass of wine.”
“Fiona!” said Barbara. “I have never heard you swear before.”
“Oops sorry,” I said. “I must have been picking up bad habits from College.”
Dawn grabbed me by the arm and we left Barbara with Ed and went into the big room with Mark and Andy. As the current song ended we went to the table near the stage with the reserved sign on it. Dawn made signs to Ralph at the bar to confirm we had the right table. As we got to the table Roger on the keyboards started waving to me so I went up on stage and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“That was nice Fiona,” he said with a big smile on his face. “Can you sing one now before you get settled over there?”
“Sure I said. Favorite mistake OK?”
“You did that last week.”
“Yeh but can we do it this week too?”
“Sure,” I said. “B minor.”
“I know,” he said.
“Can I use your guitar?” I asked.
“You don’t need you guitar for this one.”
“I usually do it playing my own guitar.”
“But you didn’t use it last week. I haven’t set it up yet.”
“OK, OK, I’m ready.”
“Check the mic,” he said.
I tapped it and it wasn’t switched on so I switched it on.
“One two,” I said. Seemed to be working. “OK, Favorite Mistake by Sheryl Crow.”
He started into the intro and it sounded real cool. Almost like having a full band behind me.
It was really different standing up on the stage on my own, spotlighted and wearing a dress. Different because I was wearing a dress yes, but also because I always sing with sitting on a stool holding and playing a guitar. I didn’t know what to do with my hands. I held them down in front of me holding them against the top of my thighs. At least I knew when to start singing.
‘I woke up and called this morning’
‘The sound of your voice was a warning’
‘You don’t care for me anymore.’
During the first verse Barbara came in the room with Ed then she came over and stood by me. I was hoping she was going to sing harmony during the chorus and she did.
She stood silent during the second verse then joined in the second chorus, then I did the big bridge my own,
Nothin’ ever lasts forever,
Even when you live together,
I don’t need happy ever after,
It’s you laughter, won’t let me go so I’m holding on this way.
We finished singing ‘favorite mistake’ and Barbara did a nice job with the harmony.
Roger stopped me. “You sound different tonight Fiona, I don’t know what it is.
“I probably play it in a different key,” I said.
“No,” said Roger, “that isn’t it. You sang it in B minor last time.”
I hadn’t noticed but Ralph had come up and was standing next to me. I went to step off the stage and he stopped me.
“I thought we were going to do ‘Picture’,” he said. I gave him a blank look. I don’t remember it and it must be a ’Fiona’ song that I didn’t know.
“I have forgotten the words,” I said. I didn’t know what else to say.
“I have it on here,” said Roger and he started to thumb through stuff on his IPad.
“You know the song Fiona I know you do. We talked about it a couple of weeks ago,” said Ralph. “Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow.”
OK so now I remembered the song, at least I think I do anyway.
“Here it is!” said Roger handing me his IPad. “Remember you sing the second verse all on your own. What key do you want it in?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “What key do they do it in?”
“I will play it in G. Just follow Ralph if you get lost as he probably knows it better that you do by the sound of it.”
We started into the song and Ralph did a nice job on the first verse then I did the second verse then I have to admit that I go a little bit lost towards the middle but I thought it sounded OK. We got good applause. I gave Ralph a hug and a kiss on the cheek and he seemed to like that.
Roger stopped me again. “You did a good job but you didn’t know it did you. You said you knew it backwards the last time I spoke to you. If I didn’t know better I would say that you are not Fiona. You even look different.”
“OK so what if you are right and I am a little different today. Look can we talk later, because I have a story to tell you,” I said. He said he would see me on the break and I sat down next to Dawn and Barbara.
“What was the problem with Roger,” said Dawn.
“I think he knows I am not Fiona,” I said.
“That could be a tricky one,” she said. “How are you going to explain that away?”
“I don’t know,” I said. “I guess I will tell him the truth during the break and ask him not to tell anyone.”
“This should be fun,” said Dawn.
Roger did a couple more songs and he took a break and came over to see me. I told him I couldn’t talk in here so we went out to the front door where it was quieter.
“OK what’s the story?” said Roger.
“Please don’t tell anyone about this, except maybe my Mom and Dad would be OK because they know.”
“Know what?” he said.
“You are a friend of the family. I don’t think you are going to cause me a problem.”
“I am not promising anything yet. Spit it out Fiona.”
“You see there is the problem. I am not Fiona, I am Leslie.”
“But Leslie is a boy, aren’t you. You certainly don’t look like a boy. Are you in drag?”
“This isn’t drag. I was a boy a long time ago and now I am transitioning.”
“But I saw you a month ago. You didn’t look like this then. You were dressed like a boy.”
“I was only dressed like a boy. I have been a girl inside since I can remember. I have been hiding it under boy’s clothes.”
“So why are you out here pretending to be Fiona?”
“Because I am still 19 for a few more weeks. I am not supposed to be in here at all.”
“So you put us through all this crap just so you could get a couple of drinks under age. That sounds irresponsible to me.”
I was trying to be as sweet and feminine as I could at the verge of flirting with him. If he had been younger I might have tried to kiss him, but I thought better of it.
“Look we are just young people out for some fun. We are not hurting anybody with this. You are the only one who noticed because you are a professional musician. Can’t you just let it go for now. It’s not like I am a bad person perverting the justice system or anything. It’s just a bit of fun and a couple of glasses of wine and I am not driving.”
“Well I am not happy about this but I am not going to tell anyone.”
“Would you have been happier if I had let you in on it sooner?”
“You are a cheeky little madam but you are very sweet. I bet you twist your dad around your finger.”
“All of the girl’s do. We love him dearly.”
“And you are a boy?”
“No!” I said. “I used to be a boy a long time ago but I am not a boy any more. I am a girl and don’t you dare believe otherwise.”
“OK I won’t say anything, but I might have to talk to your parents tomorrow.”
“I think tomorrow my parents may want to talk to you about it. But that’s for tomorrow.”
“Are you going to sing any other songs? I will be more prepared now that I know.”
“I don’t think so,” I said. “I think it best if I just stay sat down after that last song.”
“Look, I know you like to play guitar and sing. I will set up the guitar and you come up if you want to.”
“Thanks,” I said. Then I kissed him on the cheek and we went back to the big room arm in arm. He went up on the stage and I went back to my seat.
“You must have been persuasive,” said Dawn. “He actually has a smile on his face. What did you tell him?”
“Well it was mostly the truth,” I said. “With a little creative embellishment.”
“You mean you lied to him?”
“No,” I said. “I just made the truth a little more palatable. I actually think he likes me. He called me a cheeky madam.”
“Well you are!” said Barbara. “You are worse than Dawn.”
“Worse than me you think,” said Dawn. “You must be bad.”
“When are you going to do your little dance Dawn? You know they have been practicing this all week.” Mark said to me. “Are you going to join them? It will be really fun.”
Dawn went up to speak to Roger then came back. “We are on first,” she said. “He is just getting ready.”
“And now for a special treat,” announced Roger over the microphone, “we have the world famous Haigt sisters Dawn, Barbara and Fiona to do their special song ‘I wish I could shimmy like my sister Kate’,”
The three of us dashed up on the stage and Roger started playing the intro as Barbara and I stood off to each side of Dawn as she started to sing the intro.
I never get a chance at romance
The boys all wanna date my sister Kate
Katie never read a book and she never learned to cook
But she's always got a string o' fish upon her hook
When she's around the boys all pass me by
And then last night I learned the reason why
The Barbara and I join in singing harmony like the Beverly sisters and we all sang into the one microphone.
I went to a dance with my sister Kate
I'm tellin' you she was really great
I didn't have to wait all night
Till I began to see the light
Kate did a dance that was somethin' new
She shook her shoulders and then I knew
Why all the boys are going wild
Over sister Katie's style
Oh I wish I could I shimmy like my sister Kate
She shimmies like a jelly on a plate
My mammy wanted to know last night
Why all the boys treat sister Kate so right
Every boy that passes by our neighbourhood
Knows that she can shimmy and she's relly good
I may be late, but I'll be right up to date
When I can shimmy like my sister Kate
Uh-huh, shimmy like my sister Kate
Roger did an instrumental break and we stated dancing.’ First we were bumping our hips together in time to the music then we put our arms out wide and held onto each other and danced across the stage, then you won’t believe how Dawn got down in front of the stage with her arms out wide, leaning forward towards the audience.
She was waggling her shoulders and shimmying across the floor like Marilyn Monroe, only with bigger tits. They were bouncing and giggling all over the place. All the boys in the room were hootin’ , hollerin’ and whistlin’. Mark couldn’t look and had his face bury in his hands.
Dawn came back on the stage and we finished the song.
Oh I wish I could I shimmy like my sister Kate
She shimmies like a jelly on a plate
My mammy wanted to know last night
Why all the boys treat sister Kate so right
I may be late, but I'll be right up to date
When I can shimmy like my sister Kate
Ah shake it, shimmy like my sister Kate
Sweet Papa, shimmy like my sister Kate Ta Da daaaa.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PjO2lYSKZk
The hootin’ , hollerin’ and whistlin’ together with applause carried on for at least a minute. We couldn’t stop laughing. We got down off the stage but Dawn couldn’t resist giving everyone another little shimmy on her way down the steps to be greeted by another big cheer.
We sat down in our chairs and Mark said, “I am not with you lot.”
Dawn said, “Oh you love it.” And promptly grabbed his head and pushed it nose first right into her cleavage. He was the most envied guy in the place at that moment.
Nothing could anywhere near match the ‘Sister Kate’ song for the rest of the evening but we had fun. We didn’t sing any more songs during the evening, but there were plenty of other people who got up and sang songs, including Ralph who go up on his own and sang a song that was done Kenny Chesney called ‘She's Got It All’. He was really good. I wondered who he was singing it for.
Barbara spoke to me between songs. “What’s all this kissing and hugging people. You must have kissed and hugged 5 different men tonight. You know that Fiona never hugs or kisses anyone when she is here. She is usually shy apart from when she sings.”
“I didn’t know that. We will have to tell her to adjust her attitude and start kissing more people, just to make sure people don’t notice the difference.”
“I think some people have already noticed the difference,” said Barbara. “I think people will want more of the new Fiona.”
“I wonder what would happen if we both come here together?”
“Oh that would be crazy, but you would have to stop drinking. You don’t have ID.”
“I could carry Fiona’s ID. We could just say we are Twins. Anyway I am sure she has more than one type of ID.”
“Right now that’s just hypothetical, but we will think about it for the next time you are home together,” Said Barbara.
“So what would you think if I let Andy take me home?”
“I don’t know if that is a good idea. Fiona may still want him. You wouldn’t do that to your own sister.”
“If he kisses me then he doesn’t deserve my sister. I would be sure to tell her. We could say it was a test. Testing his faithfulness.”
“Actually you know that I was going to let Ed take me home and Mark could take Dawn home without having to go to Mom’s house. It might actually work out better for everyone. We will just have to trust that you don’t kiss him or anything.”
“I can’t say I won’t kiss him, but before I kiss him I will tell him that I am going to tell Fiona everything that happens, and that I have no secrets from my sister.”
“So are you going tell him about your, you know.”
“I will tell him what I used to be and see where that leads to. I told you that I have promised to tell any person I kiss about my identity. I will not be deceitful. After I tell him he will be able to ask as many questions as he wants to make himself comfortable, or not as the case may be.”
“Isn’t that a risk? You will be in the car with a man you hardly know?”
“I will tell him to drive to me home before we talk about anything like that. He surely won’t do anything stupid outside my Mom and Dad’s house. I would feel safe there.”
I turned around and moved over to talk to Andy who had been talking to Mark for the last hour or so.
“Andy. Do you think you could drive me home like you offered?”
“That’s OK,” said Mark. “I said I would take you.”
“But Mark I know you would actually go the other direction if you were not talking me. I am sure that Andy would be happy to take me.”
“Sure er Fiona. We could get to know each other a little better. All I know about you is what your sister has told me. It would be a pleasure.”
“You look after my sister Andy!” Mark said. It was nice to hear him being protective towards me.
“I am a gentleman,” said Andy. “She will be taken good care of.”
So we said our goodbyes and there was a round of hugs and kisses before we made our way our way out to Andy’s car.
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Betty Grable "Shimmy Like My Sister Kate"
Starting College my way. Chapter 15.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 15.
After midnight Friday night September 13th in Andy’s car at Bullfrog Lake.
We left the Fox Hollow and walked across the parking lot to Andy’s car. It was a big black Chrysler. He rushed to open the door for me. I politely thanked him and got in. It was only a short walk across the parking lot to his car but I was glad to get inside, although the deep leather seats in the car did take a short while to heat up.
Andy noticed me shivering. “I can switch the seat heater on if you wish,” he said. I agreed and was almost instantly comfortable.
“Where do you work to be able to afford a luxury car like this?” I asked as we pulled onto the highway and quietly accelerated away.
“It’s not an expensive car. Your Dad drives a Range Rover now that’s expensive.”
“How do you know what my Dad drives.”
“Leslie, I have known Fiona for a couple of years. I have been to your house and we have met before.”
I stopped myself talking for a moment. Did this guy know that until recently I was a boy?
“So where did we meet last because I don’t remember.”
“It was at the recital at the Lenfest Hall. You played guitar with Fiona. I was just in a bunch of people that came to congratulate you both after you finished. I am not surprised you don’t remember. You were dressed rather differently that night.”
“Does that bother you?” I asked.
“Bother me no!” he said. “You make a very attractive woman. I am intrigued.”
“So what are you intrigued. It must be obvious t you that I used to be a boy.”
“To be honest Leslie when I first saw you I wondered if you were a girl or not. I couldn’t make my mind up. I found you attractive similar to the way I find Fiona attractive. You have beautiful clear skin and bright penetrating eyes.”
“You were careful not to give anything away there Andy. Clear skin and penetrating eyes.”
“I did say I found you attractive Leslie. Dressed as you are tonight you are even more attractive.”
“Andy please be careful. You know I used to be a boy and you just said you find me attractive.”
“I know,” he said.
We were approaching the turn-off to my Mom and Dad’s house.
“Andy,” I said feeling very bold and intrigued myself. “If you would like to talk about this some more, we don’t have to go straight to my parents’ house.” And we promptly carried on past the turnoff to my parents’ house.
“So where are you taking me to Andy?” I asked.
“You know we are not very far from Bullfrog Lake!”
“Are you thinking of doing a little fishing Andy?”
“Maybe,” he said. “But I wasn’t thinking of getting out of the car, except maybe to get into the back seat.”
‘Oh shit,’ I thought to myself. I might have to kiss another boy, this time in a private place with no one else around. There may be more than kissing involved. I was getting a little excited.
“We may have to do a little more talking before I find myself comfortable enough to get into the back seat with you.’
“That’s OK,” said Andy. “I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I am enjoying myself just having you sit in my car talking to me.”
“First thing you need to know Andy is that anything that goes on between us gets straight back to Fiona. I am not going to do anything behind her back.”
“That’s OK Leslie. Fiona and I enjoy each other’s company but I don’t see it going anywhere. She has never so much as let me kiss her on the lips and we have had four dates over two months.”
We were making the turn down to Bullfrog Lake.
“This is it Andy. When I tell her we have been down to Bullfrog Lake I don’t think she will want to date you any more, still I doubt that you ever have a problem finding dates.”
“That sounds like a complement Leslie. Does that mean that you are admitting to finding me attractive?”
“OK you caught me,” I said. “Yes I find you attractive. But as I said before I let you kiss me we still have some talking to do.”
Andy drove the car into the Bullfrog Lake parking lot and went over near the lake before reversing under an overhanging tree. He switched the engine off and all I could see were some courtesy lights inside the car and the moon glimmering over the lake.
Andy turned to look at me and looked back at him. We were separated by the console between us. As I looked at him the lights faded and I could only see his outline.
“OK so what are we going to talk about Leslie?”
“I have to tell you about me Andy. I need you to know about my condition or rather I should say my gender.”
“I am interested to know Leslie.” He seemed to smile but I couldn’t be sure in the dark.
“I am a girl Andy, but that’s not what my drivers’ license says and I have male parts between my legs. I live as a girl and I want to stay being a girl forever. My brain tells me I am a girl, it’s just that my body doesn’t agree.”
“So you don’t just cross dress for enjoyment?”
“No Andy that is not what I am. When I was younger I did cross dress in private when I believed that there was no alternate path for me, but now I understand that I should have been a girl all along.”
“Are you going to get an operation?”
“I don’t know Andy. I am not far enough down that path to come to that decision, although that is further off in the distance it is still along the path I am headed. What about you?”
“We got past you pretty quick. I wasn’t planning on talking about me.”
“There are two people in any relationship Andy. I want to know about you. What do you feel about what I just said?”
“Did you learn that from your analyst, asking about my feelings?”
“I am not seeing an analyst Andy, but I need to feel comfortable about what I just said to you.”
“I consider myself a heterosexual male, but I get turned on by the sight or thought of a beautiful woman with a penis. You have just explained to me, and correct if I am wrong, that you are a woman with a penis. I also find you very attractive.”
“I find you very attractive, but I would also find you very attractive as a regular woman. Now that I find that you have male parts I find you even more attractive. Well let’s not say more attractive. You are a very beautiful woman. I would find it hard to resist you either way.”
“Did you find me attractive at the recital, when you knew I was a boy?”
“No, I didn’t even think about it.” He paused for a second. “That isn’t true. The first time I saw you I didn’t know if you were a boy or a girl. When I thought of you as a girl I thought you could be attractive, if you dressed better and put make-up on, you could be just as attractive as Fiona, but when I found out you were a boy I didn’t think of you as attractive anymore because I don’t find homosexuality attractive.”
“But if we got into the back of this car Andy, most people would say that anything we did would technically be homosexual.”
“Yes and I am nervous Leslie. I have never done anything like this before and I don’t think of myself as homosexual, but I still want to do it. I want to kiss you Leslie and just see where it leads us.”
“Me too Andy! I have never done anything like this before. I have kissed a couple of boys but never gone further than kissing.”
“Leslie, I think the talking has gone far enough. Want to get in the back?”
I opened my door and he opened his. He reached for the rear door and opened it and I did the same.
I must admit I was frightened. A number of things he could do to me at this crossed my mind. He could just drive away and leave me in the dark in the middle of nowhere or he could beat the crap out of me, but he is a friend of Fiona’s and he knows my sister and he has been in my house and met my parents. I couldn’t believe he could do anything bad to me.
We both got in the back. I was shivering with either fright or anticipation, I am not sure which. We could see each other clearly not because of the courtesy lights and we looked at each other, then as the light began to fade he put his arms around me and pulled me to him.
We kissed. We kissed for a few minutes. He tasted good and clean and his tongue and lips mixing with mine sent tingles all over my body. He was a big man and I felt comfortable and safe in his arms, but I was also unbelievably sexually excited.
After a few minutes he picked me up and placed me on his lap. We kissed some more and I could feel his erection against my thigh making my erection strain against my panties. He put his hand between my legs and I tried to open my legs to gain him access but the skirt was to tight so I pulled away from him for a moment and found a way to pull my skirt up so I wasn’t sitting on it.
His hand found its way to my penis folded back beneath me and he started rubbing me through my panties. That was the moment the kissing stopped. I reached down between us and grabbed his penis. It was big and solid and he made an involuntary grunt as I began to massage it from outside his pants.
He picked me up again and maneuvered me towards the end of the seat then he tried to remove my panties so I removed them for him and threw them onto the front seat and my shoes went on the floor. We maneuvered each other till his head was in my lap and he started kissing my penis.
He kisses and licked and massaged me with his fingers before he took me completely in his mouth and started sucking on me. I had one hand on his head and the other on his back just enjoying what he was doing to me, before I realized that I should be doing something for him.
I slid sideways across the seat so I was beneath him and as he made room for me I reached to open his pants. He was a lot bigger than me and circumcised as I was not. I knew I couldn’t get that all in my mouth but I would give it a try. He was straining to gently push his penis towards my mouth.
I took his penis in my mouth and ran my tongue all over the head, into the hole at the end that made him shiver, then all around the outside and over all of the head which made him shiver some more. He was moaning in his throat which gave me a wonderful sensation in my penis so I started to do the same. He now started gently and rhythmically to push his penis into and out of my mouth and I just let him as that allowed me to concentrate on enjoying what he was doing to my penis.
By this time I was spread out across the back seat with my legs up in the air. I could feel the cold windows with my feet. He had one knee on the seat beside my head and one foot on the floor supporting himself without pushing his giant penis down my throat and out of the other side. I was holding his hips away from my face with my hands, but he felt so powerful I knew I couldn’t stop him from choking me if he wanted to.
He stopped sucking my penis and started spitting at my balls. At first I didn’t understand what was happening until he began to put a finger into my ass then resumed sucking my penis. With his finger moving inside my ass and what he was doing to my penis I started to have what I consider to be an orgasm. Then a second finger went into my ass. I was floating on clouds of pleasure.
I felt like I lost control of my body. Waves of pleasure swept back and forth and around my body till I came inside his mouth. He didn’t move and he surprised me my not letting a drop go. I believe I could feel the sensation of him swallowing.
We continued to suck on each other but I couldn’t continue because the pain of the pleasure became too great. I had to stop him and I sat myself up to rearrange and regroup myself. We both sat up.
“We are not finished yet.” He said.
“I know,” I said. “Just give me a second or two to catch my breath.” As we sat next to each other.
“Can I fuck you ass?” he asked. I didn’t know what to say. Was I big enough to get that thing inside me? I didn’t know. Then I though this kind of thing happens every day. I have never heard of anyone dying from it.
“Have you got a condom?” I asked.
He did. We pulled his pants down to his knees then he put the condom on him and I spat on it till it was all wet and slippery. I lifted my skirt to my waist and straddled him then I reached between my legs to grab him and guide him into my ass.
‘This was insane!’ I was thinking to myself. ‘It’s not going to go in,’ but I knew I had to try. He filled the entrance then it went in a little way. I thought ‘this isn’t too bad,’ then the head of his penis crossed my sphincter and I screamed. A share burst of pain came over me but I daren’t move. The pain subsided enough for me to feel a little pleasure, and then strangely to me I began to feel the sensation of accomplishment.
I am a girl and I have a dick inside me. It feels great.
Then I started to slide down his pole. Little by little I eased my was down, pausing and lifting up a little before easing down some more. The further down I went the greater sensation that my insides were moving around to let this giant penis inside me.
He put his giant hands on each side of my face and kissed me deeply. I felt so wonderfully feminine in his hands. I relaxed my grip on him to enjoy the kiss and I slipped down him the rest of the way. I instantly felt like he was poking himself into my diaphragm and my lungs. He way all the way in. I could feel his balls against my ass cheeks. I felt stretched and in pain but it was worth it. Rolling thunderous waves of pleasure rolled around my abdomen. I was in heaven.
Slowly at first but steadily quicker he began to move up and down inside me. I began to move around him and move my hips back and forth but that increased the pain. I decided to allow him to do all of the work. I rested my arms around his neck and my forehead against his.
He was holding me up now with his hands under my arms to give him room to pound my ass from below. I shivered and spazumed and shook till I came once again without anyone touching me. I came all over his shirt but he didn’t notice. He was pounding my ass with all the energy he could muster.
He lasted what seemed a long time but he had to come. He gripped me tightly and spazumed and shook as he buried his head into my neck as he came inside me again and again. Then we stopped moving and settled to an easier pace of breathing and we held each other as he brushed my hair with his hand.
I could feel his penis shrink inside me. The sense of accomplishment was huge and the orgasmic waves still rumbled inside me in spite of the pain.
Everything settled down to a warm pleasurable glow and I lifted myself off him and sat beside him.
“That was wonderful,” he said.
“Me too,” I said not knowing what else to say. Then he rolled over again and kissed me some more, then he settled back in his seat and panted some more.
I opened the door so the light would come on and I could see the damage. I had blotches of my own cum spread up the front of my dress. Andy had cum on his shirt but he could fasten his jacket. I began wondering what I could do about it.
Andy had some tissues and a bottle of water so I cleaned it up but it was still a mess. Andy gave me a jacket to wear from the trunk of his car but it was about 10 sizes too big. It would have to do.
Andy kissed me again then we got back into the front of his car and we drove off. It felt wrong to be separated from each other after having such good sex, but this stupid car had this huge console that run between us. Modern cars are so unromantic.
Things were a little quiet in the car for a while till he spoke.
“Can I see you again?” he asked.
“Sure,” I said. “But I don’t know when. You know I am in New Jersey at college.”
“I will keep on bugging you till you see me again. Can I visit you in New Jersey?”
“I live in a female only residence. You can’t stay there. Text me and will talk during the week. Maybe if things work out we could got to the Jersey shore next Saturday night. What would you think about that?”
“That would be so cool. See what you can come up with. We can definitely do that. I won’t be working next weekend.”
“You never did tell me where you worked?” I asked.
“I work at the nuclear power plant down the road.”
“But you didn’t glow in the dark!” I said.
“Ah but you didn’t see me with all my clothes off,” he said. “Maybe next week you will see it.”
Andy drove me back home and we kissed one more time before I left him. I went into the house unnoticed. I got cleaned up in the bathroom and got in bed exhausted, my dress resting on the floor beside my bed.
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I slept soundly till someone knocked at my door. It took me a moment to understand that my Mom was asking if I wanted breakfast from outside my room.
“Are you cooking breakfast Mom?” I asked.
“Yes dear, you can have anything you want.”
“Eggs, sausage, mushrooms and hash browns?”
“No problem Leslie. Be downstairs in 15 minutes.”
“I got up and sat on the side of my bed. I certainly did it last night and I still felt a little glow, besides the pain in my anus and the feeling of my insides being moved around of course. I had real sex with a man and the sense of accomplishment was still there.
I wonder if this changes anything. I know now that I really enjoyed sex with a man so I couldn’t say I don’t know any more. Does that mean I am gay? I don’t feel gay. I feel like a girl who has had sex with a man. I felt more like a complete woman.
Starting College my way. Chapter 16.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 16.
Saturday September 13th. Private conversations with Mom, Dad and the gender specialist.
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I felt womanly this morning. I could still feel the effects of having that wonderful man inside me last night. I wondered if some time in the future I might consider making my lower body look more like the way I feel. I was beginning to recognize a conflict between what I feel inside and how I look, but I also recognized that any thought of such a thing was a long way down this path I have chosen, so I put it out of my mind best I could.
I got up to go to take a shower. I went over to my closet and chest of draws to get some clean clothes, but everything in there was for the old Leslie, the boy that is. I then went to my suitcase to get some clean clothes. There were not many clean things left. I think today may be a good day to go shopping for the new me.
I showered and dressed and put on some makeup in double quick time so I could go get some of my Mom’s wonderful breakfast. From the few clean clothes I had left I picked out a black A line skirt and a grey nylon spaghetti strap tank top that I must say looks quite nice on me. Fortunately my shoulders and arms have stayed slender.
I went into the kitchen but my Mom’s face changed when she saw me to a look of disappointment. I stopped at the door and looked at her. She could see that her reaction concerned me. She looked away and started putting food on a plate. At that moment my hunger disappeared.
“I am sorry Leslie,” she said. “I just wasn’t expecting you to be wearing girl’s clothes at breakfast. I was still hoping for the old Leslie. I didn’t mean anything by it.”
“I know Mom,” I said. “We are all adjusting to my new persona. It is unreasonable of me to expect that you and the other family members will be as enthusiastic as I am for the new me, but someday soon I hope it will happen.”
“It’s hard for us Leslie. Last week you were the beautiful boy you have always been and now you are so different. I want to relate to you the same way as before but I find it so confusing. My mind is wired up to expect my son and I hear your voice but my eyes are having difficulty making the connection between what I see and what I hear.”
“Can’t you just relate to me the same way you do with Fiona?”
“But you are not Fiona. You look a lot like her but I know it’s not Fiona it’s you, my son, wearing a skirt and looking very pretty.”
“Why can’t you just think of me as your other daughter Mom?”
“Surely you don’t believe it’s that simple Leslie. I am going to love and support you with all my heart but you must understand that I have lost something that is very dear to me.”
“But I am still here Mom!”
“Yes you are here, Leslie the girl, but my beautiful boy Leslie that went to college last week isn’t coming back, and that makes me sad and I can’t help it.”
She was beginning to cry now. Yes of course I understood what she was saying. The things I have changed over the last week have affected all of my family. I was going to need a similar conversation with my Dad I am sure. I pulled my mother towards me to hug her. She turned to me and I rested my head on her shoulder.
“OK so who is hugging you now Mom?”
“Don’t try to analyze me Leslie,” she said as she moved away from me. “Please try to understand that you have taken something away from me that I loved dearly. Of course I am going to love you and do all I can for you because you are my child, but you can’t just flip a switch and expect everyone to love the new you just like before. It just doesn’t work like that. I need time to adjust.”
Now it was me that was crying. I ignored my breakfast and went back up to my room in tears. She didn’t follow me. I lay on my bed crying and thinking about what she said.
I realized as I felt sorry for myself that she had still said she loved me and she need time to adjust. She wasn’t negative towards my change and she even said I was pretty. I should not be laying on the bed crying. I should be downstairs with my Mom helping her adjust to the new me and showing her that I still loved her.
I got up, cleaned my face up and went downstairs to see my Mom in the kitchen. She was sitting at the kitchen table staring through the dining room out into the countryside.
“I am sorry Mom,” I said as I kissed her on the cheek and sat down beside her. “This is not all about me. Yes I understand I have taken something away from you but I am sure in time I will make a good replacement. It’s still me and I love you as I have always done.”
“I hope you haven’t thrown away that nice breakfast,” I said looking around for it. “I still eat just the same.”
“You will have to explain that one to me Leslie. How can you eat just the same if there has been no one to cook for you for the last week? I was thinking that because you would be staying in an apartment with other boys you would be eating pizza and Kraft dinner. Please tell me how you got on with the girls in your apartment.”
That moment made me glad I came back down. My Mom had said what she had to say and now she was getting on with things. I really have a classy Mom.
“Well Mom the girls told me that from the first moment that I would be expected to be just another one of the girls. Cooking, cleaning, putting things in the dishwasher and never leaving a single plate, spoon, napkin or food container for anyone to deal with.”
“All of us do our part as soon as it needs doing. Nothing gets left for later, except for my laundry that is. I am going to ask for your help with my Laundry as I have never washed girls’ clothes before.”
“I don’t remember you ever washing boys clothes either Leslie.”
“That was the old me Mom. The new me is an improvement in every way. I am going to ask you with help to do my laundry but I want to do it myself.”
“That’s OK Leslie. But the fact that I own the washing machine trumps your desire to do your own laundry. Just bring it to me in a laundry basket and I will take care of it. You can watch me if you want. Anyway tell me about the girls you are staying with and your first week at college. You haven’t really told me anything yet.”
I took some time and told Mom about the girls I live with. Angie is a freshman like me taking Engineering, Carla is studying Early Childhood Education, MJ is studying Psychology. I also gave her a little insight about the girls’ backgrounds, where they lived, who pays for college etc.
I told her about the house we stay in, the walk to college, the layout of the college and the nice grounds around the buildings. I told her about some of the classes and lecturers including Flat Top McClelland and my first classes.
Mom was very interested and asked lots of questions. She even laughed at some of the funnier bits. She was of course very interested when I told her about Fiona and I playing at the Coffee Hutch and asked if they could come down to see us. I of course said I would like that but I also understood that it was improbable that such a thing would happen.
Mom asked when we were playing again so I told her about tomorrow evenings gig. For a moment I think she was considering coming down for it, but she wouldn’t would she? She and Dad both have work on Monday morning.
We spent a nice hour of so going over all of the things that had happened last week. Well not everything. I didn’t tell her about kissing Lawrence, going to the Rainbow club or spending the night with Rebecca, and I certainly can’t tell her about last night. I can’t tell her everything can I? I don’t think she would understand.
While we were talking Dad called up and wanted to know if I was free for the afternoon till maybe 2:30pm and I said yes. It seems he wants to take me out for lunch then to meet someone afterwards. Mom explained to him that he could only take me somewhere that was appropriate for a young lady to be taken. Dad told her he would only take me to places he had taken her to and that satisfied her.
That prompted for Mom to explain that Dad had planned to arrange a visit with the gender specialist that we had talked to those years ago. It seems my Dad had remained in contact with him and even sold him a house a couple of years ago. Good Real Estate salesmen never lose a contact.
It was nearly 11am now and my cell went off. It was Eliot wanting to know if he could come over for a visit. I told him he could come over for an hour but that was all because I was going out with my Dad. Eliot said he would be here in 5 minutes.
Mom and I greeted Eliot together at the front door. He had driven over in a pickup truck.
“Like my new truck?” he asked after the greetings.
“Really nice,” I said trying to be friendly. I don’t really like pickups but I was not going to tell him.
“Want to come in?” I asked. “We can sit out by the pool and catch up.”
“I will bring you out a couple of cokes on ice,” said my mother.
We walked through the house and out back to the pool deck. Eliot didn’t say anything as we walked through the house but I could feel him looking me up and down, checking me out.
I opened the door to the pool, walked out and sat on one of the comfy chairs, ensuring to control my skirt as I did and allowing it to slide up a little exposing my knee. I saw him look then he realized that I saw him looking.
“Its OK Eliot. I understand what a surprise it is for you to see me this way, but we can still be friends. You don’t mind having a friend who is a girl do you?”
“My family thinks you are my girlfriend now Leslie, remember. I got a barrage of questions when you left. My mom was asking the most questions. I think you have spoken to her a couple of times when you came over during the summer. She thought you said you were a boy but now she has seen you in a dress she is not so sure. My sisters want you to come over. My Dad and was complementing me on my taste and brother was asking me how a scrawny runt like me gets a hottie like you. What am I going to tell them all?”
“You are not a scrawny runt Eliot you are a handsome young man and the best policy is don’t tell them anything. Say we are just friends and leave it at that.”
“But you kissed me. No girl has ever kissed me like that before.”
“It was only a kiss Eliot. It didn’t mean anything.”
“It did to me Leslie.”
“Would you like me to kiss you again Eliot?”
There was a pause in the conversation. Eliot was trying to come up with a reasonable answer.
“Are you really a girl Leslie?” He asked.
“That question is not as straightforward as it could be Eliot. I think of myself as a girl of course and I know that I look like a girl. Do you think of me as a girl Eliot?”
“When I spoke to you at Fox Hollow and you kissed me, yes I thought of you as a girl, but I have known you for years before that and I thought of you as a boy. Now I don’t know what to think.”
“What did you think of me when we were growing up? Was I a convincing boy?”
“Well no I never thought of you as a big, strong, rough tuff boy, but neither was I. I know we used to go swimming and you were careful not to expose yourself, but I did see that you had a thingy and although it was small it still looked like mine. It was still there.”
“My problem Leslie is that after you kissed me last night I started remembering this stuff about you being small and shy and not being like the other kids, I started to understand that you have been feminine or effeminate for as long as I have known you. It seems to make sense. How different are you?”
“OK Eliot I am going to tell you but you must keep this between us. You can’t go telling any of our friends without my permission and knowledge. Some people are just not as intelligent as you or understand as much you do. You have to promise Eliot.”
“I promise,” said Eliot.
“OK I will tell you. At the youngest age I can remember, I always thought of myself as a girl. I used to have so much fun playing with my sisters that it was obvious to me that I was one of them, but then my Mom told me that I was a boy and not like my sisters and I had to go to school in boys clothing. It didn’t make sense to me but I did what I was told.
“I didn’t like going to school in boys clothing but I was a good boy and did what my parents asked. When I got home I still spent time in a dress and played girls games with my sisters, and I did the same all the way through my summer breaks too.”
“But I also enjoyed going to school and enjoying boys’ games with you and my friends. I like boys stuff too, not just girls stuff. I was able to switch. Girls’ stuff with my sisters and boys’ stuff with you.”
“That may sound strange to you but it didn’t seem strange at all to me. This was my life for the first few years. But at a certain age things changed. My parents stopped me from wearing girls’ clothes and I had to do most everything in boys’ clothes.”
“I have never been a rebel and have always done what my parents asked me to do, but I never forgot that I still felt of myself as a girl inside, so over the last few years the girl inside me has begun to come out. At first in private but now in public to my friends.”
“Do you really think you are a girl?” asked Eliot.
“Inside I know I am a girl but some of the outside bits don’t agree. I have breasts you know?”
“I didn’t know that. Can I see?”
“No Eliot. You will have to buy me dinner first.”
“Really? Dinner?” said Eliot.
“That is a joke Eliot.” I said.
“You look like you have nice breasts from here Leslie.”
“You are not going to see my breasts Eliot. Anyway so what do you think about my story?”
“I don’t know. How could your parents just let you dress as a girl all that time without making you dress like a boy? Did you have to go to visit doctors and stuff to find out if you were a boy or a girl? The whole thing is confusing to me.”
“I have done some research on the internet Eliot and I found out a few things. It seems that most people are born with matching parts, a boys’ body with a boys’ brain, but some other people have parts that don’t exactly match. I have for the most part the body of a boy, but as you may have noticed I not a very convincing boy and I seem to have some girly bits. I think I was born with a partly boy’s body and a girl’s brain.”
“Also I seem to have missed the puberty stage most boys go through where they grow facial hair, grow men’s features like big chins and noses. I am nearly 20 years old and my shoulders are still slim like my sisters and I don’t have an adams apple. I just didn’t grow up to look like a boy or a man.”
OK so I didn’t mention about me using a hair remover on my face, but the rest of it is true.
“Added to that I have always wanted to wear girl’s clothes and play with girls. Don’t get me wrong because I did enjoy playing and hanging out with you all those years, but I have both sides in me. But now I feel the girl side has grown stronger than the boy side and I really believe I should be and need to be a girl.”
“Are you going to get your boy bits removed Leslie?”
“Maybe I will, but I haven’t made plans for that yet Eliot. I haven’t even explained all of this to a doctor, but it does seem a logical step for someone like me.”
I wanted to hang out with Eliot some more but my Mom told me that Dad had called and was on his way over.
“I have to go Eliot, I’m sorry.”
“When will I see you again?” asked Eliot.
I thought about it for a moment then I realized that I wouldn’t be out all day with my Dad and I could see Eliot later.
“Call me on my cell about 3:30 and we can go shopping.”
“What for, girl’s things?”
“Yes for girl’s things. If I was your real girlfriend you would go with me wouldn’t you? You can tell me how good I look in the nice dresses I am going to buy.”
Eliot reluctantly agreed and I walked him out to his truck just as Dad was arriving.
………………………….
As I got in Dad’s Range Rover I climbed over and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I thought that was an appropriate greeting for a girl who loves her father.
“Hi Dad, where are you taking me? It’s nice that we can get a little father daughter time before I go back,” As I said that I settled down into the beautifully soft leather seats of his Range Rover. OK the leather is soft but it still doesn’t seem to me like it’s worth twice as much as Andy’s Chrysler.
“I thought we could go to that nice little Greek place near my office, you know the one with the chairs out on the street. It’s usually quieter on a Saturday and I thought we could talk.”
“So what do you want to talk about Dad?” I said as Dad drove us down the winding road from our house.
It was a beautiful day. The sun was warming things up nicely and there was a light breeze enough to move the small billowing clouds across the sky slowly. A perfect day to be eating lunch outside with my Dad.
“There are so many things I want to talk about Leslie. You can start by telling me how you expect me to relate to the almost frivolous girly girl sitting beside me when last week you were a serious mathematics studying mountain biking boy?”
“Mom had a similar concern. She said she had a problem listening to the voice she has always known as me coming out of a girl that looks a lot like Fiona. All I can say dad is that it’s still me inside. I have all the same memories and feelings I had before. You are talking to the same Leslie but I just look different.”
“It’s obviously a lot more than that Leslie. The boy I thought you were was obviously an illusion. You must have been hiding all of these girly feelings from us and although I don’t want to criticize you for it, I do feel deceived. For all those years you were my son and I thought you were happy to be my son, you must have been hiding your real self from us.”
We carried on our conversation as we parked outside Angelo’s restaurant and took a seat under an umbrella outside.
“It’s not like I ever intended to deceive anyone Dad, but from my early childhood one thing happened after another and after all these years this is the final result. I have obviously been thinking a lot about this in the last few days and I now understand a lot more than I did.”
“When I was very small, I was told I was a boy, but what a boy should be didn’t ever really sink in. There were so many days I remember when I could spend the entire day in a dress and play with my sisters that I must have thought that was OK for boys to do that. It certainly didn’t seem wrong or out of place. I loved my sisters and you and Mom so much that my memories of that time were all happy.”
We ordered lunch from the nice young man serving who gave me more than an attentive glance. I smiled back at him and asked him for extra milk for my tea.
“You make it sound like you were raised as a girl Leslie but I don’t remember to being dressed as a girl but once or twice, but I do admit that you always looked pretty in a dress.”
“I think maybe Dad, I used to put my boys clothes on for you coming home for dinner as Mom would not let me wear a dress in the evening when you were home.”
“Are you saying that all this is your mothers fault for letting you wear dresses when you were small?”
“I am not into the blame thing Dad; I just want to explain what happened. I wanted to wear dresses and play with my sisters. They wanted me to play with them and they thought it was cool that I would wear a dress same as them.”
“Did your Mom dress you in girl’s clothes in the morning for breakfast?”
“No Dad, Mom always dressed me in my boys clothes and sometimes I used to do boys things and hang around with some of my boy buddies, but when the girls wanted me to play with them, one of them would bring me a dress and some shoes, so I could look like them and we would do girls thing.”
“Did your Mom ever try to stop you?”
“Yes I remember at times she did, but we would make a game of it. She would take a dress off me and one of my sisters would give me another dress as soon as she wasn’t looking. She got tired of the game after a while and just let me dress how I wanted. By the time I was seven or eight, Barbara was old enough to look after us without a babysitter so during the summer. Mom would sometimes go to work and just let us get ourselves dressed and fed etc. For those one or two summers I dressed almost exclusively as a girl during the day and only changing into boys clothes before you and Mom came home.”
“Didn’t your Mom and I try to stop you and talk to you about it?”
“Dad you are talking to me as though this is a surprise to you. You knew about me wearing girl’s clothes and you and Mom went to see a specialist about it.”
“Yes but I didn’t know it went this far. You make it sound like you spent half your childhood in a dress pretending to be a girl.”
“Dad please, I have never pretended anything. This who I am! If I pretended then I was pretending to be a boy so I could go to school and not be noticed.”
As the nice young man came back with our lunch, I recognized him from primary and middle school.
“Jeremy Geanus I said.”
“That’s right. Nice of you to remember. You are Fiona.”
“No you have the wrong sister,” I said. “I am Fiona’s younger sister Leslie.”
“I must be really screwed up,” said Jeremy. “I’m sorry but I thought you were a boy Leslie,”
“No I have never been a boy, although I may have looked and dressed like a boy at times. I even went to some boys classes, but I have always been a girl. You would never confuse me for a girl would you Jeremy?”
“No way,” said Jeremy. “You are really pretty. What school do you go to now?”
“I am at university in New Jersey doing Mathematics. What school do you go to?”
“I started at a trade school last week to become a carpenter. This job is to help me with pocket money. Do you have a job Leslie?”
“Yeh I do actually,” I said knowing that this was going to be news to my Dad too. “I play guitar and sing with my sister Fiona in a restaurant bar a couple of times a week.”
“Cool. Are you any good?”
“Some people tell us we are but we haven’t got a recording contract yet.”
“I gotta go do some work Leslie,” he said. “Really nice to meet you again.” Then he skipped off to serve someone else with a beaming smile on his face.”
“I am totally amazed Leslie,” said my Dad.
“What?”
“You are quite captivating. You could have had him eating out or your hand. I am truly amazed by the difference from the old Leslie. He wouldn’t have had the nerve to speak up and say hello.”
“I know because I see the difference too. Only a couple of weeks ago I thought no one was interested in me because I was just a weedy runt of a boy who couldn’t speak up if his pants were on fire, but now I have my voice. People look at me now and say hey, that girl looks like she has something to say and I want to hear it. At university people stop me and say hey you are Leslie Haigt. We have heard of you. When are you singing again?”
“You have a sparkle in your eyes that I have never seen before Leslie. That boy saw it too.”
“Thanks Dad. You have a sparkle in your eyes now too. Do you think you might understand now? This is who I am and I can’t change back. Leslie Haigt is a beautiful girl going to college and enjoying her life more than ever before. Please tell me you understand.”
“I must admit I really don’t know how I got to this point, I didn’t understand till just then. I see the girl inside you now and I think you are something very special. Not to say that you were not special before but this is different. I think I am beginning to see the real Leslie.”
“Awe thanks Dad,” I said.
“I am still in shock though. I will miss not having a son, but the person who came back from college last night is so much happier and self-assured than the person who left last week I think that will make up for my loss. I must admit again that I love that sparkle in your eyes.”
“You will make me blush Dad.” I said giving my eyes a little flutter.
“Don’t know if I believe you Leslie. The new you doesn’t seem like someone who would blush easily. Did Mom tell you where we are going this afternoon?”
“She said you were taking me to see the gender specialist you spoke to all those years ago. She said that you sold him a house.”
“I did too. A very large house near Valley Forge, but his office is in Norristown. We need at least half an hour to get there.”
Dad ordered the check and we prepared to go. Jeremy came out with the machine and Dad paid with his card. Jeremy gave me a really nice smile while dad was doing his thing. I thought about reaching out to touch his hand but thought better of it.
We cruised down the 422 to Norristown on no time at all. I told Dad about the same things I had told Mom about earlier.
“What has Fiona said to you about all this?” asked my Dad. “Has she been supportive?”
“Fiona is a wonderful sister. Yes she has let me know that this has been a little weird for her but I think she is not unhappy about it. We have always been close but this may even bring us closer.”
“I spoke to Fiona yesterday,” he said. “She called me up tell me about her plans for the weekend. I asked her about what she thinks of your change. She is very concerned for you. She is shocked that this could happen so fast and it caught her by surprise. She also said she loves you and is doing all she can to help.”
“She is being very helpful. She has not said no to anything I asked. She hasn’t complained at all. Now I am saying that I now find myself thinking that she has done everything for me and I haven’t done anything for her. I have to be aware that it can’t all be about me and I have to consider others in what I do.”
“My sentiments exactly,” he said. “I am glad that you understand that this change of your affects everyone you know in ways you may not understand. Anyway we are here now and we can resume this conversation after you have spoken to Doctor London.”
………………………………………………………………..
We went into the office complex and up in the elevator to the third floor. The doctor’s reception was empty but the doctor came out of his office to greet us.
“Hi Charlie,” said the doctor.
“Thanks for doing this Sean,” said my Dad.
“I will be billing you Charlie so don’t sweat it,” said the doctor.
“You must be Leslie,” he said. “I am very pleased to meet you as I have been hearing about you for a few years. Please come through.”
We shook hands and went through to his office. It was a large room with a desk in the corner but most of the room was taken up with big comfy chairs and a coffee table. The blinds were open and I could see across the parking lot to the park and the river past it.
He asked me to sit wherever I wanted and asked if I wanted a drink. I accepted a Coke and sat at the end of the leather couch. He sat on a comfy chair across the coffee table from me.
“What do I call you?” I asked.
“In this office you can call me Sean but outside this office I expect that you will call me Dr. London. Is that OK with you?”
“Sure,” I said. I sat with my knees together and my hands on my lap not knowing what to do or say. Dr. London was a fairly big man maybe about 40 with thick black hair, thinning a little on the top. He had a beard that he kept short and trimmed to give himself the appearance of having a chin. He wore light colored flannel pants and a short sleeved white shirt. I wasn’t attracted to him but I could see he could have been attractive when he was younger.
“Let me give you some information about myself. I am a qualified medical doctor but I also hold a doctorate in psychology. I treat patients with mental and emotional disorders but I also specialize in gender.”
“Gender what? Do you mean gender disorders?”
“I have learned that the term disorder does not necessarily go with the word gender. There is a long list of conditions that I have been able to help with. I hope you will allow me to discuss your life to see if I can help you. Will you allow me to do that? At this time you seem to be a little apprehensive, which I of course understand. I am a stranger to you asking you to tell be your deepest secrets after all.”
“I am apprehensive but I am fully prepared to tell you everything. I just want to understand where you will fit into my future. Will you be the person to guide me through the life changes that I am expecting or are you just consulting before you pass me off to someone else?”
“I can be your main contact in the medical and psychology fields to help you through whatever you need through your journey to wherever your life takes you, apart from surgery should you believe that is necessary. I don’t know enough about you to say any more than that, but I will know more if you tell me about yourself.”
So I opened up. I told him about my earliest memories of being in a dress and playing with my sisters, then my parents telling me I had to dress as a boy, then my sisters dressing me when my parents were not around, then that stopping too. I told him of my cross-dressing at home when everyone else was away, my trips the mall to buy my own clothes and my first days at college. While I was talking he would sometimes make notes but most of the time he looked me in the eyes and paid attention.
“What about self-gratification. Was that part of your cross dressing?”
“Yes there was some at times, but not always. I just wanted to do my regular things while wearing a dress.”
“And what about during the last week that you have been living as a girl. Has there been any more self-gratification?”
“No not at all,” I said, “although during the last week I have had the first 3 sexual encounters of my life.”
“With men?”
“No, the first two were with women. Only the last one last night was my first time with a man.”
“I am sorry Leslie but you surprise me a little. Am I correct that until this week you never had any sexual activity with another person, but you have has sex with 3 different people in one week? Do you want to tell me about them?”
“No,” I said.
“I am sorry Leslie I don’t want details but I would like to know what attracts you. Can you tell me what kind of relationships you had with these people?”
“OK I don’t mind that. The first was with one of my female flat mates. She identified herself as lesbian but I think she is a little screwed up because of earlier life experiences. I think I am the first male in her life that didn’t hit on her or hurt her. She came into my bed late at night and gave me a blowjob.”
“What about your relationship with her right now. Will you see her again?”
“We are flat mates, but she said not to say anything to the others and that it didn’t mean anything.”
“Do you really believe that? There are very few people who can honestly say that having sex with someone doesn’t really mean anything to them. I would guess from what little you told me that it means a lot to her but she doesn’t want to show it to you for fear of rejection.”
“Jeez that makes me feel like shit.”
“I am sorry Leslie but you have obviously got a lot to learn about sexual relationships. You will have to figure that out later. What about the second?”
“The second was the most beautiful woman I have ever come in contact with, other than my sisters. She was tall and powerful with an amazing body. She appealed to the boy in me. She identified herself to me as lesbian and was attracted to the girl in me. After I told her about my orientation she still had sex with me, but it was non penetrating sex. Afterwards she told me that she couldn’t do it again but we could still be friends.”
I don’t know what to say about that encounter. With any luck she will be true to her word. I hope so for your sake. What about the third?”
“I met a really nice man who is a friend of my sisters. He met me once before I knew I wanted to be a girl. He was attracted to me but he had doubts about my sexual orientation. We had a long conversation about my believing I am a girl inside and him being attracted to me as a woman, but also as a woman with a penis even more so. He said he was not gay and had never had sex with a man, but still had oral and anal sex with me.”
“How did that make you feel?”
“Totally exhilarated! He made me feel like a real woman and I am still glowing.”
“Are you going to see him again?”
“I think so. I hope so.”
“I am pleased for you, but I strongly recommend that you don’t add to your list of sexual partners for some considerable time, at least until the first 3 relationships are sorted and concluded. You may not think so but you are in a confused and delicate state at this moment and you are not giving yourself time to adjust between all of the major changes you have been subjecting yourself to.”
“Leslie I am not trying to startle you or shock you but without realizing it you have been acting like a whirlwind for the last week and you have not given yourself time to turn around and look at the trail of destruction you have left behind you.”
Trail of destruction? I hadn’t thought of it that way. But maybe I have not been looking back to evaluate what I have done. How many people have I actually hurt? Right now I was feeling sorry that I may have hurt MJ.
“Leslie the speed and the scope of the changes you have made in the last week is incredible, but you need to slow down. You need some reflective time before you jump into any other changes. Right now I suggest that you carry on with your school life as you have laid out to me but please don’t make any more radical changes or new sexual relationships until your life has settled down from the last week. Are you OK with that? I think we should stop there.”
“Aren’t you going to talk about hormones or surgery or my gynecomastia?”
“We are too soon in our consultation process to talk about hormones or surgery and I am sorry but I don’t know anything about your gynecomastia and I have no record of it.”
“I am growing breasts and I have never taken any hormones or anything. My Mom said she thought it might be gynecomastia so I thought you might be able to examine me.”
“I am Sorry Leslie but I can’t examine you today. You will have to call in for an appointment during the week. I don’t have any staff here and I can’t examine you without my other staff being present. We have certain protocols we must go through. I am only speaking to you right now as a favor to your father. The next time you come in we will register you properly and get a full medical work up. Should take about an hour, then we can make another appointment to speak about a path forward. Are you OK with that?”
“I guess so. I have been so caught up in the moment that I haven’t given myself any time to stop and think. I promise I will slow down and not make any more changes.”
I was feeling a little shell shocked at this time and needed some time to stop and think. We agreed this was a good time to wind things up and I thanked him for his time and patients. He told me he hoped he was helping and we shook hands and we went outside into the reception area where my dad was waiting patiently.
I took my dad’s hand and we walked over to the elevator. As soon as we got inside and the doors started closing I wrapped my arms around him and burst into tears. I don’t know why. I just needed him to hold me. I buried my head in his chest and he comforted me best he could. By the time I realized where I was there were other people waiting to get in to the elevator so he lifted me up and stood me in the hallway where I tried to recompose myself. I didn’t care what other people were doing around me; I just wanted to be comforted in my dad’s arms.
I recovered after a while and we made our way back to the car where he gave me some tissues and I cleaned myself up a bit.
“Anything I can help you with Leslie?” my dad asked.
“No Dad but thanks. It’s just a shock letting all those private things out then having someone qualified comment on them. He said I have been like a whirlwind for the last week not giving myself time to turn around and look at the trail of destruction left behind me. I didn’t realize it but it’s true. He didn’t tell me to change anything, but he did tell me not to make any more changes before I let the dust settle on all the changes I have made.”
“Do you like him? Do you think he might be the doctor you could stick with?”
“I think so Dad. He said I should make an appointment to come to see him next week and get a full medical work up. I have half a day where I can fit that in.”
“What did he tell you?”
“I am not going to talk about it right now Dad. I want to give my brain a rest.”
Right then my phone went. It was Eliot.
“Where are you Leslie. I thought you wanted to go shopping.”
“I’m sorry Eliot. This thing with my dad took longer than I thought. Hold on a second will you?”
I turned to speak to my Dad. “Dad do you think Eliot could come over this evening. I know you are having people over and it’s not a sit down meal or anything?’
“Sure,” my dad said. “The more the merrier. Does he play an instrument?”
I got back on the phone. “Eliot I can’t do anything right now but if you want you can come over this evening and bring your guitar. We are having a musical evening and you’re invited. Will you come?”
“I would love to. I can drive myself over. What time?”
“Sevenish. It’s not a sit down meal but wear something nice and be prepared to sing. Please remember that if you drive then we can’t let you drink.”
“He said he would come.” I told Dad.
“So are we going home,” Dad asked.
“Well Dad since I can’t go shopping with Eliot right now and we are close to King of Prussia. Could you take me shopping for a couple of things?”
“What kind of things.”
“Just dresses and shoes and stuff.”
“Shopping for dresses with my new daughter. What have I done to deserve this honor?”
“You have the great honor of being my Dad that’s all.”
“I must be a real pushover,” he said starting the car. “King of Prussia Mall it is.
Starting College my way. Chapter 17.
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Starting College my way. A story of fiction by Symphony Simms.
Starting College my way. Chapter 17.
September 13th. Saturday Night Music Evening, including the bit where I dump on Barbara.
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King of Prussia Mall was fun with my Dad. He got to watch me try on dresses and shoes and he paid for everything. I got 3 dresses, 3 skirts, 4 tops and two pairs of jeans together with some miscellaneous underwear. I also bought a classy looking short evening dress for tonight. We also popped into my favorite DSW for 2 pairs of shoes and a pair of winter boots.
Dad was totally understanding that I needed more stuff and I think I caught him enjoying himself, even though he got to use the ‘not another dress store’ comment a couple of times.
I of course flirted with every boy I came into contact with, plus a couple of the pretty women. No one seemed to mind. As soon as I smiled at them the just smiled back and sometimes shared complements.
I really enjoy this way of shopping by interacting with people rather than the boys way of doing things. i.e. head down charge into the store, pick one, pay and leave. Mind you I don’t think I was ever like that when I went shopping for girl’s clothes. I used to try to interact with sales assistants if I could. Many times they would look funny at me but other times they would enjoy a brief conversation. Some sales women enjoyed talking about women’s intimate clothing with someone who seemed interested, but that may have been because they were not sure if I was a boy or a girl.
After the shopping my Dad politely made it clear that we had run out time and had to get back.
When we arrived home Mom was beginning to get a little frantic because my Dad is usually a big help in the kitchen getting things ready and I had taken him away for longer than planned, but soon after we came back Barbara arrived and we all pitched in to get thing prepared.
After things settled down and Mom was more satisfied that everything would be perfect, I took my things up to my room and Barbara followed me.
“So how was your ride home with Andy? Anything happen?” she said bouncing herself down on the bed.
“It did actually,” I said showing her that I was rather pleased with myself. “We spent a pleasant hour together getting to know each other before he brought me home. I think I might see him again.”
“You are amazing. You have only been a girl for a few days and you are stealing your sisters’ boyfriends already. What do you think Fiona will say?”
“I don’t think Fiona will say anything Barbara. Andy said that he took her out twice on what he thought were dates and she never even kissed him. Anyway Fiona has gone to the beach this weekend and she was taking a shine to one of my admirers. She was picking him up and taking him to some friends’ beach house.”
“How many people at your college know about you being a boy Leslie?”
“I don’t consider myself a boy any more Barbara. I used to be a boy but I am a girl now.”
“But it can’t be that simple Leslie. There are some people that know that you were a boy because the girl’s you stay with know and you also said that you have told people that you are intimate with. You can’t expect to just fly under the radar and get away with it. I think you are a disaster waiting to happen.”
“I understand that I have to slow down and let the dust settle on the things that I have done. The gender specialist that Dad took me to this afternoon said I was a whirlwind leaving a trail of destruction behind me and I need to more carefully to think about all the things I am doing, but I can’t go back Barbara. I have too much to lose.”
“What have you got to lose Leslie? If you stopped this now I am sure you could get a late entry into another college and with your grades I bet you would still pass with A’s.”
“Barbara, are you suggesting I give this up and become a boy again. It’s not going to happen.”
“But you are a boy Leslie. I get the feeling that Mom and Dad are just humoring you till you discover you have made a huge mistake and you want to put everything back the way it was before.”
“I can’t go back on this Barbara. I feel like a girl inside. I didn’t know what this feeling was until recently but now I know I will always feel like a girl and that’s what I am going to be. How come you are coming out with this now?”
“I love you Leslie honestly I do but I fear for you. I fear for what people will say and do to you. I could even understand if you said that you were gay, but to say you are a girl and change overnight is huge. I have never heard of anyone doing anything like that before.”
“And how many transgendered people do you know Barbara.”
“I don’t know any Leslie but I know how many bigots, rednecks and homophobic people are out there. They are everywhere. I bet there will be a couple of them here tonight.”
“Well they better not say anything because my Dad will stop them.”
“But even if they don’t say anything tonight, they could start talking to other people tomorrow. If my Mom and Dad get to hear about anyone calling you a dress wearing sissy boy they will be very upset and so will I.”
“Is that what you think I am Barbara a dress wearing sissy boy? I thought you had more respect for you than that.”
“That’s not what I think Leslie. I love you and want you to be happy and successful. I am worried that other people will say that and Mom and Dad and other people will hear it. I am afraid of how much pain it will cause.”
“Do you want me to become a girl Barbara?”
“I was happy with you as a boy Leslie. Dresses and all. But if you want to become a girl then I will support you any way I can.”
“Then stop being so negative. I know this has actually been easy for me so far but I know it will get harder. When it gets harder then I will need your help to get me through. But I don’t have a choice Barbara. This is who I am. I can’t go back to thinking that I am a boy because it just doesn’t work that way.”
“So your brain is really telling you that you are a girl?’
“Yes Barbara. Every inch of me screams girl, apart from the annoying bit between my legs. If I were to turn back and become a boy again I would have to lie to myself and pretend to be something that I am not for the rest of my life.”
“This, Barbara.” I stood up in front of her and showed her. “My skirt, my shoes, my earrings, my boobs,” and I grabbed them to show her. “This is what I am and its girl. What I used to be was just camouflage to get me through another day and pass the time till I could put on a dress again. I didn’t enjoy being a boy. I used to enjoy some of the things I did while I was a boy but being a boy was crap. How can you expect me to go back to that?”
Barbara was crying now because I was shouting at her but I couldn’t stop.
“Being a girl is everything beautiful and happy and fulfilling. You can’t imagine how jealous I was of you and my sisters for all those years. You are beautiful and you get to wear pretty clothes and be feminine. I couldn’t do any of those things. I had to hang out with boys and do stupid boys stuff. It was the pitts.”
“I can’t imagine spending another day as a boy. That part of me is gone, washed down the tubes and never coming back.”
An arm came around me from behind. It was my Mom and she was crying too. In the doorway behind her were my Dad and Dawn. They all hugged me as I burst into tears myself and buried my head in my mom’s chest.
“We didn’t know you felt like that Leslie,” said my Dad. “We had no idea what was going on in your head. We will get you through this honest we will. You are a beautiful girl now and we want you to stay that way.”
“Let it out Leslie just let it all out,” said my Mom. “I am going to love you, my youngest daughter and all of your sisters for ever and ever and make everything better, you just watch me.”
As I recovered from my tantrum, I realized that I had been shouting at Barbara. I pulled away from my Mom and Barbara was standing beside me holding my arm.
“I am really sorry Barbara,” I said. “I guess I just needed to dump on someone and you just happened to turn the switch.”
“That’s OK Leslie. I understand you a lot more after that. I guess we all do.”
“No more camouflage?” said Dawn.
“No more camouflage,” I said.
“OK you have had enough time to recover, we have stuff to do and people coming,” said Dawn. “But first show me what’s in those bags.”
I had to give Dawn a big hug too as she was being helpful to me. I really do love my sisters, but then Dawn started crying.
“I still can’t believe I did all those stupid things to you to try to prove you were not gay.”
“You didn’t know Dawn. I suppose it made sense to you at the time, and I can tell you that my few boy parts got really excited when you did. You are a very beautiful woman Dawn and please don’t ever change.”
I kissed her then realized that I needed to do something to get us all out of this malaise. I started unwrapping my purchases and hanging them on hangers on the front of my closets so my sisters could see them. They complemented my choice and both commented that they were glad to see that I favored dresses and skirts over jeans.
I then showed them the dress I had bought for this evening. I was a dark blue sleeveless lace dress with a full nylon/silky liner of the same color. It had wide straps and a medium low neckline that although gave me some room to display some jewelry, did not reveal any cleavage. The back was low but not enough to stop me from wearing a normal bra. The waistline was fitted, the skirt was narrow with a split at the back and the hem was mid knee. I would wear it with dark blue 4” open toe pumps.
They were both impressed and wanted to help me accessorize, but I told them I could not wear anything loose that might scratch my guitar or get in the way of my playing. They understood of course.
I also asked them for a little time on my own because I had another busy day and wanted to rest and reflect for a little while. After more hugs they left and I closed the door behind them and curled up on my bed for a moment to collect my thoughts.
-----------------------------------------------
What seemed like only moments later Dawn was knocking at my door asking why I was not coming down to welcome the guests. I explained that I had fallen asleep and was not even showered. She asked if she could help and I asked her to come back after I got a quick shower.
I showered and dressed in my new panties, bra with breast forms and corset, and put on a silk dressing down and went into my room where Dawn and Barbara joined me. I sat at my dresser with my bag of cosmetics.
Dawn remarked. “This will never do. This is still a boy’s room and will have to change. Let’s go into my room where I have everything we need to make you the prettiest you can ever be.”
So we moved into Dawn’s room and I sat down in front of her dressing table where the difference was obvious. Everything a girl needed was still here and accessibly arranged for use, even though she didn’t actually live here anymore.
They both worked on me and they persuaded me to just sit back do as I was told. They did everything for me. Dawn even gave me false eyelashes with a little sparkle in them. They fixed up my hair and added appropriate jewelry and in just a few minutes I was transformed into the beautiful young woman that I felt like on the inside. I felt like a million dollars. I was very happy and thanked them.
While I was still in the chair, Dawn gave me a piece of paper.
“What’s this?” I asked.
“Read it,” said Dawn.
It was an email so I read it to myself.
8:47 am. September 13th.
Charlie and Morag Haigt
Winters Rest Park
Reading PA
To all my dear friends who we are hoping will be able to come to our music evening this evening.
While you received an invitation to one of our regular music evenings, this will be a special evening because we wish to introduce our daughter Leslie to you.
Until recently we were all under the impression that Leslie was a boy, but we were wrong. We have recently discovered that Leslie is actually a very beautiful girl and she has always been a girl. The details of this we cannot discuss with you but we hope that you will treat out daughter Leslie with the same love and respect you have always treated all of our family.
Apart from this introduction, this evening will be a regular music evening that we hope you will all contribute to and enjoy, and if we are lucky our beautiful daughter Leslie will sing for us.
Best wishes.
Charlie and Morag.
I was shocked. He sent this even before we had spoken today. He had already accepted me. I was so happy I had to hug Dawn and Barbara right there. I was apprehensive to walk down those steps into all my Mom and Dad’s friends before, but this made me feel a lot more confident.
“OK I am ready,” I said. “Let me put my dress on and go play some music.”
We went into my room to put my dress on. I know I am talking about me and I might be a bit bias, but I know I look good. I looked somewhat like Fiona and Barbara. A little different to Dawn but you could tell I was one of the Haigt sisters.
After checking the mirror one more time I hugged my sisters again and walked out of my room towards the stairs. My sisters followed me but a few feet behind and let me descend the stairs on my own.
There must have been close to thirty people standing in the great room as I started to descend the steps slightly sideways being mindful of my high heel and holding on to the banister rail. Many or most of them were eating appetizers or drinking wine and beer.
As I descended further more and more people started to look up at me and slowly the room got quieter. I could see me Mom and Dad standing with Eliot and another couple I didn’t know. I could see Dr. London with a very beautiful lady that I assumed was his wife talking to more people I didn’t know. Ralph from the Fox Hollow and Roger Teller the keyboard player were there plus many other familiar and unfamiliar faces.
As I got closer to the bottom of the stairs the room went quiet and someone started clapping. In moments the whole room was applauding me. It felt kind of strange being applauded because I hadn’t done anything yet, but it did seem welcoming.
I stood on the second step for a few moments and looked around and tried to smile at everyone and acknowledge everyone I knew but I gave up on that and decided to step across the room give my Dad a huge great big hug. Mom, Dawn, Barbara and Mark all joined in, then when that was over I gave Eliot a little hug so he didn’t feel left out.
My Dad then shouted to anyone that was listening. “OK. Anyone want to play some music?”
A few people replied yes and the assembled group started drifting towards the music room.
I grabbed my Mom’s arm to tell her. “I haven’t eaten since lunch and I am famished Mom.”
She understood so we drifted into the dining room to get some food. Eliot followed us. As we reached the table where the food was laid out he put his hand one mine and I turned to him.
“You look very beautiful tonight Leslie,” he said. “My dad told me to tell you that early and often to make sure you know that I think you are very beautiful so maybe you might kiss me again.”
“I can see that you Dad is a very smart guy Eliot, but I am hoping we could just be friends.”
“That’s OK Leslie. I want to be your friend but I am still going to tell you how beautiful you are.”
So I turned to him placing my hands on either side of his face and kissed him square on the mouth.
“OK Eliot,” I said. “I might kiss you once in a while but we are still going to be just friends.”
My Mom saw us and she blushed a little and smiled.
“Wow. My Dad’s advice worked better than I thought,” said Eliot with a large beaming smile across his face.
“As I said Eliot your Dad must be a very smart man. Did you bring a guitar?”
“I did.”
“What did you being?”
“I brought my SG.”
“Brilliant,” I said. “Can you play ‘If it makes you happy’ by Sheryl Crow?”
“You bet I can. I have been practicing real hard.”
“Great we are going to play it later. Can you the intro to ‘Leaving Las Vegas?”
“Sure I can. Are you gonna be playing chords?”
“Of course. That makes two we can do. When you do ‘If it makes you happy,’ do you use open G tuning?”
“Of course.”
“Then we can do Rolling Stones stuff. Then do you want to do ‘Brown Sugar? Massive. That’s 3 song we can do on our own and I am sure we will be able to join in with everyone else. But right now I need to eat. Can you give me a couple of minutes because I haven’t eaten since lunch and its after 8 already.”
The Music had started and someone was playing some bluegrass and the fiddler was smokin’.
“That’s OK,” said Eliot. “I can go and mingle if you want.”
“You don’t have to leave, just let me eat. Tell me what’s been happening with you and our other friends. First tell me what you are doing.”
“I thought you knew. I am doing the personal support worker program at Alvernia University here in the city. I didn’t get accepted at any of the universities I could afford. I didn’t have the grades that you did. Anyway after I have done this for a couple of years I can switch to a nursing degree if I keep my grades up.”
I was listening but eating at the same time.
“Matt and Duke have left town. Matt joined the Air Force and Duke went to work at his uncles’ lumber mill in Oregon. I don’t expect to see them much till maybe Christmas. I have been hanging around to Walter the bass player. He got himself a job at the Guitar Center in town. It doesn’t pay much, but he is happy there being involved with music all day.
“Do you guys still play together?” I asked between mouthfuls.
“At least twice a week. Next time you are home you should come and jam with us. We sometimes get to use the practice room at the guitar center and all kinds of musicians drop in.”
I stuffed myself with some food then grabbed a glass of wine while nobody was looking. Eliot stuck to his Coke because he was driving. We wandered into music room and some people were singing Wagon wheel. My Dad was on bass but I didn’t know the other people. Ralph from the Fox Hollow came up to speak to me.
“So I wasn’t singing with Fiona after all? You had me fooled. You look just like her.”
“No I am afraid that was me, but I consider it a complement for you to think I look like my sister Fiona. If we do the same song again tonight I swear I will do it better,” I replied.
“Sure. I thought you did it pretty good last time. I will add us to the list.”
“We have a list tonight?” I asked.
“There is already a full page of people who want to play, but your Dad has already blocked out a chunk in the middle for you. Go see.”
The page was mostly full apart from a block in the middle where my Dad had written ‘Leslie gets to play any time she wants’ and put his name after it. Most embarrassing.
I asked Elliot where his guitar was and he pointed to the side of the stage where it was already plugged in and on a stand so we headed for the stage.
The last song ended and the singer and guitar player got down out of our way. I got up on the stage and asked the drummer and my Dad if they could do ‘If it makes you happy’ and they both said yes so I got Elliot to play the into and we were running.
Eliot sounded really cool on the intro that kind of goes through the whole song. I didn’t want to sing over him because he sounded so cool, but that was the song.
‘We belong far away from here’
‘Put on a prom show and play for mosquitoes and anywhere in between’
‘We’ve been around the thrift store jungles’
‘Found Geronimo’s rifle and Marilyn’s shampoo and Benny Goodman’s corset and pen’
‘It’s OK I made this up’
‘I promised you I’d never give up’
‘If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad’
‘If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad’
That song is always a little hard to sing as I have to almost shout at the top of my voice to get the chorus out. This time I nearly choked on it. I had to jump off the stage and find myself a glass of red wine after the first chorus. Purely for medicinal purposes of course. I believe anyone who sings will understand.
I got back up on the stage and we completed the song. Eliot did the guitar solo at the end and finished with the intro all over again. I was amazed how cool he sounded. He has certainly been practicing. We got great applause and whistles from the assembled crowd.
I wanted to do ‘Leaving Las Vegas’ next so I grabbed my guitar which someone had kindly set up for me and I asked the guy who had been playing before us if Eliot could use his guitar and he of course said yes so we did that song and then went back to electric for ‘Brown Sugar’. Eliot was amazing on the guitar again.
We got off the stage to a big round of applause and whistles again.
As I was stepping off the stage, Dr. London was there held me down and offered his hand.
“I wouldn’t have believed it unless I was it for myself,” he said.
“What?” I asked.
“You look like you have been doing this for years. You are the prettiest young woman in the room, together with your sisters that is, and this is the prettiest slightly older woman in the room, my lovely wife Sarah-Anne.”
And she was lovely too. “Very pleased to meet you Sarah-Anne,” I said.
“And you too Leslie. You sing beautifully. Are you going to sing again?”
“I don’t know. Maybe I will.”
At that moment Ralph was standing on the stage and he announced that he wanted to sing ‘Picture’ with me and Roger Teller come up and play for us together with my Dad on bass and the drummer who’s name I did not know.
This getting up and singing almost every other song continued for the next couple of hours and I got quite tired. The one or two glasses of wine added. The last song I did was ‘I wish I could shimmy like my sister Kate’ with Dawn doing her usual shimmying and Barbara and I singing backup to her. It was another riot.
After that I spoke to a couple of people around the room and soon decided that I had stolen one more glass of wine than I should have and I asked my Dad to escort me up to bed, but before I could do that, Eliot came and asked me to walk him to his car because he was leaving.
I know he had been around for the last hour or so but I hadn’t paid him much attention, so I agreed.
As soon as we got outside the front door he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me to him giving me the most delicious deep kiss resulting in me going even weaker at the knees than I already was. After a wonderful minute or so I realized what I was doing and franticly pushed him away.
“No Eliot I can’t do this with you.”
“What’s wrong Leslie? Why not?”
“Not at the moment Eliot. I need real friends not boyfriends or lovers. You don’t seem to realize that I am messed up. I did it again.”
“Did what again Leslie. I don’t understand.”
“It’s not your fault but every boy I meet wants to kiss me and I can’t stop myself. This being a girl thing is not easy.”
“But we have stopped Leslie. We only kissed.”
“But it’s never just a kiss. I am learning that kisses mean so much more than you think. But I kissed someone else last night Eliot.”
“But it was me you kissed last night.”
“No Eliot I was kissing someone else after you.”
He went quiet and a look of shock came over him. I didn’t know what to say to him. He looked so disappointed.
“I’m sorry Eliot. I will call you next time I am home.” I just left him there and I went inside to find my way up the stairs to bed.
When I got to my room I threw all of my clothes in a ball at the foot of the bed, put a nighty on and got in bed to cry myself to sleep thinking I have just upset another friend and really nice person.
I woke in the middle of the night needing the bathroom and nearly scaring myself half to death with the view in the bathroom mirror. My make-up had run sideways across my face with the tears I had shed and the rubbing of my eyes. I had also demolished Dawn’s false eyelashes which were half hanging off.
I had to do the makeup remover and moisturizer thing in the middle of the night. It didn’t stop me from going straight off to sleep again when I returned to bed.