The muse hit me again! Hope this one is OK? It has been a while since we heard from Hill Street High so I decided to start slowly with the more "obvious" changes and let the School work its magic and begin to heal some hurting spirits. My thanks to JennC who got to see the preview. I will be continuing work on "The Revenenant" so please don't worry about that. As Jenn told me, "The Muse strikes when she strikes".
Enjoy, Sunwolf
Hill Street High School was built in the early 1990’s in response to the town’s recent growth. Too, the old school was a remnant of the 1920’s, and looked it. The town had eventually given in to the inevitable and voted in a new school.
The new building had everything. As befitted area weather, it was totally enclosed (except for the athletic fields, of course). Yet its public areas never felt claustrophobic, for it relied a great deal on glass. The cafeteria was large and clean, the library well-stocked even with fiction, and the gymnasium included an indoor pool.
Perhaps the most unusual change from old to new concerned the lockers. The architect had visited the old school and had been shocked at the students crowding into too-narrow hallways made even worse by the lockers lining each wall. They were nearly impassable, and the man vowed not to carry that over. Instead he placed larger lockers in the gym’s changing rooms, and the rooms themselves were much expanded. There was a second, smaller changing room for each gender in case of overflow. Each student would use a single locker there, accessible at any time. In return the hallways would be clearer, quieter, with plenty of room on the walls for announcements, art, or displays. The architect felt the extra space needed for the expanded changing rooms was more than justified, and the students more or less agreed.
The architect put his heart and soul into the school, this community building for the good of all. The workers who built it were the same way. After all, they were a local firm; it’d be their kids going there.
All that care, all that attention, can have an effect. At Hill Street High School, it did. The place gained something of a soul of its own. It took care of the students -- the computer lab had almost no technical problems and the cafeteria food was unusually tasty. It took care of the teachers -- school supplies such as pencils and books were never in short supply and everyone’s drink of choice was available in the lounge. And it took care of itself. Litter was infrequent and disappeared quickly. The same could be said of graffiti. Each of the three janitors thought another had taken care of it. Sometimes they were even right. Everything was perfect.
And the school was happy.
But nothing lasts forever. Eventually the growth stopped, then reversed. Families moved away, and the changing rooms were not as full. As chance would have it, far more girls ended up moving away than boys. The secondary girls’ changing room became entirely empty. Other families moved in, but again more boys than girls enrolled. The boys’ secondary changing room approached capacity. And then, one day, passed it.
And the school was not happy.
But the school learned how to fix things, how to mould the students and faculty, as well as parents that came onto the school grounds for conferences and events. The school craved order and adjusted the student population; the adjusted families seemed happier and the school gained in confidence. Then the school learned that simple adjustment wasn’t always the answer; the case of two students, Danny Halding and Bree Miller, convinced the school that one person’s happiness couldn’t be at the expense of another’s. The love that grew between those two students filled the hallways with happiness. And the school learned. Sometimes, happiness is more important than order. And, when people are happy, things tend to be put into order without much effort. It learned from the episode with the McMahons that happiness and love produce order so much more effectively.
The students were happy, the teachers were happy, the parents were happy, and the school was happy.
“Mom, why do I have to go to school so quickly here?” Andrew asked with that characteristic whine of the teenage boy who already knows the argument is lost but form requires at least a semblance of resistance.
“Honey, we had to move to the States for my job and I couldn’t afford to place you in a boarding school. This way you can still live at home and you will make lots of new friends. The Americans are very friendly people but you’ve seen more of the world than many of them, that’s not a criticism but many do not leave their own State. Now Hill Street High is just ahead and we have our meeting with the Principal, Mr Harris.” Andrew’s mother Julia was a Consultant with a multi-national company and had been offered a better paid job but it involved moving from England and all they knew to the New World and a new life. That it also happened after they were still getting over the death of his father, killed by a drunk driver barely a year earlier allowed them to make a new start.
“Good Morning Mrs Stevens, I am Principal Harris, welcome to Hill Street High.” Giving a firm handshake, Mr Harris continued, “please have a seat. I’ve taken a look at Andrew’s academic records from his previous school, he appears to be a responsible, hard working person. I don’t think we should have too many difficulties finding classes in which he will excel although some classes are already oversubscribed and with Andrew arriving part way through the year we may not be able to cover all his first choices.”
“That’s understandable at the moment I don’t know if the job I have here is permanent. The good thing is that holding dual nationality has made moving back to the States easier for me and I hope it will help Andrew make a fresh start. He took his father’s death quite hard but I think he will do well here.”
“There is something that I need to discuss immediately with Andrew and there’s no reason not to mention it while you are here. Andrew, I’m afraid the only lockers available are in the Overflow Locker Room and we do have two sisters, Teresa and Patty McMahon using the room at the moment. Now, your gym classes will never coincide so there’s no danger of anything untoward and in fact you will have, in effect, your own private facilities for changing. I can assure you many boys would be happy with that!”
“Well Mr Harris, it’s OK I just want to fit in and get by.” Andrew replied, not especially worried by the room. He just wanted to get through the School Experience, hopefully without the bullying and name calling he had to put up with in the past.
“So when will Andrew know his timetable?” his mother asked, knowing that her work would leave Andrew isolated occasionally and if he could get engrossed in his work he should soon make friends. With an inner sigh Julia wondered how life would have had Andrew been her daughter but loved her son anyway. He had a wonderful generous heart but his father’s death had torn something out of him.
“We can have Andrew’s timetable and locker assignment ready Monday morning. Andrew will need to spend the first period just settling in and he can start lessons from the second period. I know the US Education System may appear a little strange but I have no doubt that Andrew will be able to cope.”
“Indeed, Andrew’s grades to date have been quite impressive and I am sure he will fit in easily here at Hill Street High” his mother smiled.
Andrew gave a weak smile, his mother meant well but as he had thrown himself at education to shield the pain of his father’s death, his mother had thrown herself into her work. He was not a sporting enthusiast, by no means unfit and a reasonable distance runner but happier with his books and had had a nagging feeling throughout his life that he didn’t quite fit in with the rest of the school at home. He wondered what Hill Street High had to offer him having no real experience of the new environment but wise enough to realise that TV was as useful as Dickens as a guide to what may happen when he went to school properly.
The School pondered upon its newest student, it felt the pain of Andrew’s loss and gently sent feelings of comfort towards him. Hmmm…another boy in the girl’s locker room. Before learning the lesson of Danny Halding, it may have rushed into ensuring balance but with the recent death of Assistant Coach McMahon it was possible that his two daughters could be just what Andrew needed to move towards healing for all of them? No need to rush into things, time to watch and to wait…
Andrew filled his locker with the books he needed for his days classes. A reasonably bright student but never the most athletic of people he was worried about his preference for literature and reading. He couldn’t stand to travel without a book to read, on occasion any book. “Andrew Mitchell, please report to Student Services, Andrew Mitchell, please report to Student Services” the loudspeaker blared its instruction.
“Great, now what?” Andrew mumbled as he walked out of the locker room and straight into the chest of a very large well-built young man… “Oh sorry, I didn’t see you.” Andrew mumbled. Great, just absolutely peachy I’ve just put myself on Jock Radar, he thought dejectedly and the day will no doubt get better… NOT!
“Hey, no hassles, that’s me, “No Hassle Castle” He held out a large hand, “you must be new here, welcome to Hill Street High” He gave a warm open smile.
“Thanks, I had a horrible thought that I had just appeared to be the nerd on Jock Radar” Andrew mumbled.
“No way, I guarantee that we don’t have that sort of thing at Hill Street High. Anyone that dumb would be off the team even before the Coach found out and definitely after he did. Look you get anything like that happening look me up and we’ll take care of things OK?”
“Sure, thanks. It’s kind of strange a new school and new country thrown in.”
“What, really? Sounds interesting, look want to join me for lunch and tell me more about yourself?”
“OK, looks like everybody has the same lunch times here. Not like back home where lunch could be at almost any time. Oh, I suppose here is home really, I’d best get used to that now my mom has moved here with her work. Still, thanks for the invite, I’ve got to get to Student Services…”
“No hassle, up the corridor and take the stairs to the right. See Ya!”
***
“You want me to take WHAT!” Andrew explained in shock.
“Look I’m sorry, but your grades are more than good enough for our Diploma and with respect Aerobics and Modern Dance Techniques will give you the flexibility and fitness to develop and I don’t think we can offer the sports you are more normally used to.” Miss Hunter smiled amiably at Andrew, she didn’t want to hurt his feelings and reading his record Andrew would not really fit in with the “Jock Crowd” as he was a rock climber and runner according to his file notes. Thank the stars he didn’t see the Home Ec and Office Skills courses but he is bright enough and still had his Physics and Chemistry options, I was able to fit those at least although he may be bored by Pol Sci.
The School felt Andrew’s frustration and sent more calming messages to the new student. Meeting “No Hassle Castle” had been a good move and should help Andrew to settle. No need to rush any changes, instead see how Andrew reacted to his new environment and he could meet Patty and Teresa later in the week… Yes, patience was the best option for now.
Tuesday had been little better than his first day for Andrew. Aerobics and Dance had not been anything like as bad as he thought. A number of the girls had given him warm smiles as he joined the group. Being a rock climber back home Andrew had enjoyed free climbing or bouldering, he had never had the upper body strength and relied upon his balance and agility for his technique. Perhaps these classes would help him?
Joining Jack for lunch, Andrew found him a friendly outgoing character and quite the reverse from the “Stereotypical Jock” that he had encountered in the past (on, if he were honest, TV). “Hey I bet that some climbing is pretty much like dance so it could be just what you need?” He reassured him.
“You could be right, I’m a technique climber rather than BFI” Andrew smiled, reassured by Jack’s impressive size and wondered how it would feel in his arms….What? Buddy bonding is one thing but no way am I like that? He thought.
“BFI?” Jack looked confused.
“Brute Force and Ignorance”, Andrew grinned back “I knew a few climbers who were able to handle climbs that I had trouble with because they were simply stronger than I was. I was more flexible but couldn’t handle the longer pitches because I always ran out of strength half way through.”
The School watched Andrew as he fought the feeling but oddly not as strongly as it expected… But not gay… almost as if... This one should be watched closely, no need to push. Interesting that he did not mind too much about the Aerobics and Dance classes and it can observe how well Andrew settles into place.
“Office Skills?” Andrew all but wailed at the news. “I thought I was taking Maths to keep up with the Science courses.”
“Well again Andrew, your results show that you’ve already met our diploma criteria and this course will help you with the day to day things you will find helpful in fitting in here. It isn’t that bad a course you know and I daresay your mother took something not dissimilar when she was a student.” Miss Hunter looked sympathetically at the increasingly confused Andrew.
”I’m not saying the course is bad or anything like that it’s just… well so unexpected.”
“I understand, but do please try to remember that the curriculum here is radically different from your own. Essentially, you started education earlier so in some respects are a little more advanced in terms of the subjects you’ve covered so It really isn’t anything to worry about.”
“OK ma’am, I get the picture, I suppose I could just go with the flow so to speak”
“Provided you keep your grades up Andrew I don’t think you will have any difficulties. So how are you settling in then?”
“Well it isn’t like back home, I’ve found people here to be really friendly and to be honest I quite like that.”
“I know, Hill Street High is such a friendly school. I think you are going to blossom here Andrew.”
“Well the classes seem strange but I suppose that coming from another country that’s just natural. I think I should fit in fine although I really don’t know much about the sports so taking Dance etc may have saved me from some potential embarrassment. That said I think I was a little impolite about the whole thing and I’m sorry about that Miss Hunter.”
“Not to worry, it could have been worse and it was rather a surprise for you I think your reaction was simply natural and it says far more about you that you apologised to me.” Miss Hunter smiled thinking how polite Andrew was he should fit in very well.
After Aerobics and Dance, Andrew went back to his room to change. He still hadn’t seen the two girls who were meant to share with him but wasn’t too worried. Jack was becoming a good friend accompanying him to meals and occasional classes. Odd, Andrew thought, he actually liked walking with Jack to lunch and classes. For some reason he could not put his finger on it felt right as though he wanted Jack to wrap his arm about his shoulders and hug him! Opening his locker the shower gel and shampoo he had kept there was missing.
Peachy, just peachy he thought. So somebody knows the combination and can get at my stuff. But why take my shower gel and stuff? Looking closer, Andrew realised that the bottles were under a bag but not where he left them. With a grimace at the thought somebody could get into his locker he unthinkingly grabbed the two bottles and went into the shower…
The floral aroma of the gel almost caused Andrew to run back out of the shower but he’d obviously been pranked and as the “new guy” he thought it was probably inevitable. Sighing Andrew rushed through the shower cleaning up and washing his hair. He’d find out who got him when they started laughing in class or the corridor. The floral scent was nice though…
A slower start indeed thought the School. Something gentler than in the past perhaps Andrew should meet the McMahons soon?
Drying off, Andrew quickly changed. I wonder if Jack is waiting? he thought. Now why did I think that he wondered. By now the scent from the shower gel and shampoo had, to Andrew at least, disappeared.
“Hi Andy, how’s it goin’?” Jack was waiting nearby. He smelt the scent on Andrew and thought it actually quite nice.
“Hi Jack, about these lockers…” Andrew looked embarrassed as he thought he would just ‘fess up about the prank.
“What about them Andrew?”
“Can anybody get hold of other people’s combinations?”
“What? No the school changes them each year to stop that and the combinations are kept secure when they do get changed. Why?”
Andrew blushed, “I think somebody pranked me and changed my shower gel and stuff.”
“Really there have been rumours for years about a “prankster” who operates in that room but I don’t believe a word of it. You probably didn’t notice the brand when you were shopping and just grabbed the one that you thought was normally there. Don’t worry about it nobody will say anything and I’ll be with you for a while too and you can tell me more about England.”
“Sure, but it’s Great Britain! I know most of the world thinks we’re just England or even London but that’s like thinking the US is just New York and California.” He smiled back at Jack already feeling more at ease as they walked to their shared class.
Excellent the School thought. The developing friendship between Jack and Andrew would help things develop further. The reaction to changing the shower gel and shampoo was encouraging there was no need to rush any changes…
The week was finally coming to an end and Andrew was looking forward to getting some recreation time in. There were no climbing walls in the area (a sad lack he thought) but he could spend a little time running in the pleasant weather and perhaps see if there were any areas for bouldering practice. “No Hassle” Castle was going away for the weekend with the Football Team for a training camp and away game with a rival school.
At home, his mother commented on how nice his skin was looking and how glad she was that he was taking steps to look good. He probably had the Prankster to thank for that, each time he took special care to bring a masculine scented shower gel or shampoo it would be replaced with a more florally scented style. If Andrew was honest with himself, he enjoyed the compliments he got from his mother and Jack seemed to like it too.
This Friday morning however, the Prankster changed targets. Andrew realised that he could not afford to keep getting new gel and shampoo. He smiled a little as he thought they must own a supermarket or something to keep changing them. He decided whatever, just face the Prankster they would lose interest if he simply went with the flow and ignored the embarrassment.
No, today after gym, the target was not his shower kit. Oh no, his stationery set had been changed! Gone were his blue and black pens, ordinary plain pencils and stuff. In their place gleamed purple and pink gel pens, electric pink pencils and a ruler, all far more feminine than the ordinary stationery they replaced. I don’t believe it! Pink! Who normally and rationally choses pink pens and pencils? They are just soooo girly! Suddenly Andrew imagined dotting his I’s with an occasional heart or just leaving a heart next to "No Hassle” Castle’s name. Despite thinking everybody in his class would notice, Andrew just pressed on and used the pens. Such lovely shades of pink and purple and my handwriting is looking better too… Nobody even mentioned the colours of the pens and fortunately one proved to have black ink to use in classes although it was bright pink with a diamante heart design on it. He thought his cheeks must be bright red or at least matching the colour of the pens. Despite his misgivings his Office Skills tutor did look closely but simply smiled and complimented Andrew on his neatness. In fact Andrew was surprised that just like the scent, nobody appeared to bat an eyelid. He wondered if everybody was in on the prank like some huge “Gotcha” but these sorts of things never lasted a whole week did they? Rejecting the thought, Andrew considered that his limited viewing of this sort of thing on TV tended to involve fairly obvious pranks and they were either edited or actually quite short anyway. No it was just a High School Prankster, play along, keep a straight face and they’ll lose interest and find somebody else.
Interesting the School thought, it had come across these things through its internet connections but was that the reason Andrew was starting to just play along? Yet there was something about Andrew’s spirit that called out to the School. It knew that observing Andrew and patience was the best way forward, no need to force anything. It HAD learnt from Danny and Bree that simply changing without thought for the person was wrong. Teresa and Patty McMahon on the other hand their change had redirected them from crass unfeeling boys into gentler and caring young ladies. Right now, the School felt their pain upon the death of Coach McMahon but they would need to come to terms with his passing and reach out to life again. Students were hurting and the School would help them. Across the School, students, teachers and staff felt unaccountably pleased with the way the week had gone.
Monday came and after his weekend running and for some reason wanting to meet with Jack again. In his bag he’d kept the pink diamante pen but replaced the rest with cheap pens etc. He couldn’t think why the pink pen called to him but somehow he simply could not imagine getting rid of it.
To his surprise, Jack was actually waiting at the changing room for him. A huge smile appeared on his face as Andrew approached. Andrew found himself looking at his friend and suddenly imagined what it would be like to rush into his arms. What? Where did that come from? Whatever… Andrew brushed the thought aside thinking such strange thoughts were just a natural part of growing up maybe everybody occasionally wondered so why worry he thought.
Interesting, perhaps Andrew is developing after all into the person she could be. But still best to let things develop slowly and in their own time. Let Andrew choose her own pace…
“Hey Andrew, good weekend?” Jack grinned.
“Sure, got a bit of running done but I couldn’t see anywhere reasonable for climbing.” Andrew replied still wondering how Jack’s lips would feel against his.
“Well I can ask around but perhaps we could run together sometime?” Jack looked pensive.
“Sure, unless you think it may look strange, the Sports Hero and the Bookworm?” There, I finally admitted to myself about the books Andrew thought. Was being a self-confessed book addict likely to cause problems? No, Andrew reasoned, they have a great library here but I’ve not taken a good look at the place yet. Somehow I’m not sure Jack would go with me though. Like garlic to a vampire a library probably has the same effect on Jocks! The thought made Andrew think of a bemused Jack and his friends running out of the library in fear. Andrew pushed the thought out of his mind as beneath him, all the sporty types here at Hill Street High seemed to be studious too. A gentle smile broke through and flittered across his lips…
“Hey, what’s the joke? Something wrong?” Jack looked shocked but privately thought the smile was nice.
“No, sorry a train of thought that broke in a funny place.” He grinned back.
“Come on, spill…”
“OK, probably too much TV, I had this odd idea of the Jocks reacting to a Library like vampires to garlic. You know, running away in terror out of the Library? Silly I know conforming to stereotypes.”
“Well we all do it I suppose. Fact is that to stay on the team you need to keep your grades up so perhaps we work twice as hard but being a bookworm isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Anyway best let you get into your changing room. Catch you in a few?”
“Sure, I’ll try to be quick.” Andrew flashed another smile as he swerved around Jack and into the changing room where he instantly froze in shock.
“Oh I’m sorry!” he blurted closing his eyes and turning back to the door.
Two girls were at their lockers, one just pulling down her sweater. The younger a blonde turned at the noise.
“Hey, you must be the new roommate? Calm down! You’re causing a scene and Tere doesn’t bite! I’m Patty McMahon by the way.” She looked amused at Andrew as he tried to overcome the natural reaction of finding two girls in his room despite being aware that at some point they were going to meet.
“Oh I’m sorry it was just the surprise of meeting you and seeing Tere, was it? adjusting her dress I thought I should… Oh sorry, I’m Andrew Stevens pleased to meet you.” Calming down, Andrew walked across and offered a hand only to find Patty giving him a chaste sisterly kiss on the cheek rapidly followed by the older girl Tere was it? Feeling a little surprised Andrew returned the gesture thinking it was just one of those customs you get used to.
“Nice to meet you, it wasn’t a dress but my jumper.” The older girl looked at Andrew, there was something about that look that Andrew found familiar and not in a nice way. Pain and loss, the look in the eyes that Andrew had carried since that awful night the Police called with the news. “I’m Teresa but Patty always calls me that and I think you can too.” There was the hint of a smile there and an acceptance.
Andrew had never forgotten that night and the terrible days that followed. He remembered that he had not cried or anything, just a few suppressed tears on the day of the funeral. He had become the “man” of the house and had to be strong for mom and hold things together while she dealt with her loss. Somehow he had failed and there was something missing between them ever since. He didn’t just know that look, it was the one he saw in the mirror every day.
“Oh, that it was just a figure of speech not an observation on your clothes. But that sweater looks lovely” Andrew wondered how he’d look in that…
“Thanks I just got it last week, my boyfriend Dave came by and I bought it specially for him. Well me of course but he loved me wearing it.” She gave a dreamy smile at the memory but the pain in her eyes remained.
“OK, I’ve just got to put a few things in my locker. Oh, by the way did you ever hear of a “Prankster” person here?”
Patty looked blank but Tere smiled, “I think that there must be somebody, we had a few pranks played on us I think it’s just a sort of tradition but after the first term we got left alone and whoever it was lost interest. Why, anything happen while we were away?”
“Not really anything bad but my shower gel and shampoo got changed for something floral and last Friday all my pens were pink! Sounds silly really, I thought it was a huge “Gotcha” type of thing but nobody really seems to notice anything and they’ve been really awesome to me as the new bod.” Thinking on it, Andrew realised nothing actually harmful or painful had happened and, of course, I know the McMahons cannot be the Prankster and perhaps they can look out for me?
Meetings, the School thought, there WAS something about the McMahons and Andrew. Bereavement, the loss of a loved one. The School had helped before but it felt the gulf that Andrew admitted to between himself and his mother also needed to be addressed. Andrew needed his friends and the School wondered if a friendship may blossom between the students in the room. Again it decided not to rush things, the next changes would be subtle… Interesting that Andrew brought the pink pen back too?
“Got to go Andy,” Patty interrupted , “Meeting Luke and making sure he makes up for lost time. Later!” She took her books and swung gracefully out of the room.
“Luke’s a gymnast and Patty’s been taking the same classes. She should take dance I think,” Tere gave a parting wave as she left and entered the corridor with its growing student population.
Heck, better get a move on, don’t want to keep Jack waiting! An image of a tuxedo clad Jack waiting for him to get ready sprang to mind, I wonder what I’ll wear? Grabbing his books, Andrew walked out to find Jack still waiting.
“Hey, did I keep you waiting? Sorry, I met the McMahon sisters aren’t they lovely.”
“They sure are, Luke’s a great guy and while not a footballer is very fit. Shall we get off to class the warning bell is about to go.”
“Sure, I’ve got Home Ec after that, meet you for lunch?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking?” Jack smiled down at Andrew as they walked down the corridor together.
Andrew looked at other students, some in pairs, holding hands as they went off to their classes. Not like back home where you’d never hear the last of it he thought and I’d love to hold his hand… Or to be held close to him… Whatever…
Monday also contained two other little surprises for Andrew…
The first was on returning from PE, Andrew showered using the floral scented gel and shampoo that had replaced his without even thinking. Returning to his locker to collect his books and watch he noticed after putting it on that it was smaller and more delicate looking than the one he wore to school. A small silver watch with a rose pink face was now adorning his wrist, a ladies watch! It looks simply divine a thought came to the front of Andrew’s mind even as he was wondering what had happened to his own watch. It does suit my wrist though and makes my fingers look even prettier… Leaving the watch on his wrist Andrew made his way to Home Ec and, he thought, another cookery session. He was wrong…
The class began with the usual collection of aprons to protect their clothes while cooking. Andrew loved to cook having been taught by his late grandmother although he was having a little difficulty with US measurements. He compensated by remembering gran’s advice that “weights and measures are just a guideline and most of the time it’s a handful of this, a splash of that” and spending time cooking at home allowed mom a needed rest. Today, the only free apron happened to be pink. Just peachy he thought but that pink matches my watch and look at that reflection! He saw himself reflected in a window his brown hair framing his face. For a moment he saw a girl but the fleeting moment passed and Andrew returned to the class baking cookies. For Andrew, this was a simple task and he helped Connie and her partner with the mixing and preparation.
“Class, pay attention please I need to remind you of the change in our programme to allow us to prepare for the Fashion Show at the End of Term Ball.” Mrs Hartford announced as they were cleaning up. “So from next week we will start work on our designs. Please remember this is part of the assessment but I don’t want you to worry too much as I am confident you will do well.”
“Fashion Show?” Andrew asked Connie, “I didn’t notice anything about a fashion show.”
“It’s a bit of a tradition, we hold a sort of “Easter Parade” fashion show as part of the Easter Ball. I bet you’ve got some great ideas what with the London Fashion scene Andrew?”
“So we just design something for a student to model?”
“You could say that Andrew.” Connie gave a knowing smile.
“Connie, you’ve got that look you know. What is it you’ve accidentally forgotten to tell me?”
“Well it’s like this,” she looked straight at Andrew, “you model your own outfit.”
“Well that’s no great hardship is it?” Andrew commented while thinking of what he would design. He could sew anyway having learnt when at Primary School and buttons and stuff came off regularly and being able to make repairs was a skill that always came in handy.
Good, the School thought, Andrew is coping well. He was not fighting the suggestions as strongly, even beginning to think like the young lady she will become…
Thinking about his fingernails, Andrew found a manicure set waiting in his locker after Dance class. A pretty pink case holding files, clippers and the other tools needed to keep nails in tip-top condition. Holding the case in trembling hands, Andrew did not see Patty enter the Changing Room.
“Hey cool looking set, I thought you were one of those “leave them alone and cut when they dig in” people Andy” Patty looked down at his nails.
“No, I really hate bad nails! I simply cannot let them get too long or dirty. Even climbing I like to keep my nails looking good and these are so much nicer than those really short or chewed nails you see about.”
“So you’ve a bit of practice in manicures?”
Andrew glanced down and looked at Patty through lowered eyes in an almost feminine gesture as she raised her hands and wiggled her fingers. “Pretty nails! I did get a proper manicure once, that was fun. Mom and I were at a Beauty Salon and one of the specialists gave me some lessons.”
“Mind if I practice a little on you?”
“Do we have time? I’m meeting No Hassle Castle for lunch that’s in about..”
“Oh we’ve about 10 minutes, I’m just going to shape them a little. Tere lets me loose on occasion and I promise not to paint them.” Patty gave a shy smile as though she was remembering something. “How about you tell me about where you came from I gather you are the English Kid?”
A few minutes later and Andrew was proudly sporting beautifully shaped nails having spent time describing some of the differences between Britain and his new home. Andrew also wondered how his nails would look with a nice coral pink or red polish…
A happy Andrew made his way to meet “No Hassle” Castle for lunch. His newly shaped nails felt and look good wonder if he’ll like them when I’ve polished them too... Almost bouncing when he saw him waiting he gave a shy smile in his direction.
“Hey Andy, lookin’ good, we’re a little early for lunch so we can get a nice seat over by the window. Nice view and out of the way of the crowd so less chance of spillages and stull”.
“Great I’m glad the food here is so much better than when I went to school before. It actually tastes of something although I will have to keep an eye on my weight” Andrew gave a wry smile at the memory of food at his previous school, the joke had been that the Kitchen Staff had all failed the Army Catering Corps training.
Collecting their trays the pair made their way to a side table and chatted idly about how their days had gone so far. Jack had a slight issue with his calculus class but Andrew quickly saw the problem and explained it in detail. A few members of the Football Team joined them along with Connie accompanying Peter Taylor her current boyfriend.
“So how come you’re not taking Math?” Connie asked.
“Just bad luck I think, ended up in Office Skills instead. It’s pretty easy compared to some classes I took. I think it was the only available course with any places and being a late arrival I suppose I have to fit in as best I can. Maybe I can swap onto Math next year? I’m not complaining about things, just coming to terms with them and trying to go with the flow so to speak".
“Well you’re fitting in pretty well now, want to hang at the Mall after classes this afternoon? These lunks are off at practice so while they’re running about we can take a look at what’s new.”
“Sure Connie, that sounds OK?” Andrew felt a little unsure of himself. Back home nobody really hung out with him and the idea of shopping suddenly sounded attractive. Perhaps he could get some nice pretty things too?
Gently, the School thought. There was an emptiness about Andrew but he wasn’t resisting the nudges so far. Perhaps it was time to step things up a little…
The trip to the Mall was something of an eyeopener for Andrew. Connie and her friends must have visited almost every fashion store in the place. Andrew’s knowledge of shopping could be written on a postage stamp but he found himself smiling and giggling with the others as they modelled their outfits. Deep inside, Andrew wondered how nice some of the outfits would be on her. Oddly he seemed to develop an eye for the outfits and found himself offering advice as to colour and style.
“Connie, that skirt is killer on you, it really shows off your figure but isn’t it a little short?” Andrew observed with a shy smile.
“No, I wouldn’t wear it for School but when Pete takes me out I want his complete attention.”
“Oh I see! Definitely he’ll only have eyes for you Connie.” Andrew wondered how “No Hassle” Castle would react were he to wear something so daring. What was he thinking? He could almost feel the muscular young man wrap his arm about her, him whatever…
Andrew certainly had his limited knowledge of the intricacies of female fashion extended. To his relief, albeit well hidden, the girls steered well clear of Victoria’s Secret although advice was offered about how necessary such garments were to help a girl look good in her outfits. In the past, Andrew had just grabbed a clean pair of trousers or the pairs kept for his school uniform. Here there was no real uniform although the range of colours and styles for boys was fairly restricted for girls it seemed quite the opposite. His vocabulary increased as the girls modelled “Clam Diggers”, “Cropped Trousers”, “Capris” and the like, all showing off well toned and smooth legs.
Sipping at his Diet Coke Andrew idly twisted a lock of his shoulder length hair between his fingers as the girls discussed who was going out with who, what pop singers looked hot etc. Curiously, he found himself enjoying just listening and letting the gentle torrent of feminine conversation wash over her, him. It seemed “No Hassle” Castle was regarded as a good catch although he rarely seemed to go out with any girl he was evidently not regarded as gay, he was simply waiting for the right girl and whoever that lucky girl was, she would have a “keeper” whatever that was. Unbidden that comforting thought of being held in his strong arms and protected bubbled happily to the front of his, no Her, mind and a smile danced across his lips.
“Hey spaced out or what?” Connie nudged Andrew back to the present. “Come on girls, makeup beckons!” With that Andrew found himself swept along with a goggling tide of femininity towards more shops…
The girls went at the samplers with a will, pouting and pursing their lips as various shades of lipstick were tested. Various bits and pieces of advice were passed between the girls, some of which even made sense to him. It wasn’t that he was unaware about makeup, Andrew had used stage makeup in a school production last year but this was an entirely new world.
Andrew did make a few purchases of his own, a new hairbrush and a combined shampoo and conditioner. He didn’t really notice that he had selected quite a feminine scented product but the scent was simply heavenly…
Nothing else appeared to have been changed in his locker. Andrew wondered if the prankster had given up or was preparing something else. Who cares? He thought as he placed his books in the locker, adding the new shampoo and conditioner along with the hairbrush. Well I’ve got such lovely hair and it needs a little maintenance, I wonder where Patty and Tere get theirs done? Their hair always looks nice.
“Ah Andrew, there you are. I need to go over the preparations for the Fashion Show with you.” Mrs Hartford took Andrew to one side as the lesson began, the other girls working on their cooking.
“Sure Ma’am, I’m sure that I can come up with something for them to model.”
“Ah… I think you misunderstand Andrew. This course is quite specific, you are to design and model a dress suitable for a semi-formal occasion, like the Ball itself.”
Andrew’s heart sank as he took that piece of information on board. His masculinity seeming to shrink to nothing. “Isn’t there something else I can do? A different outfit or something?”
“I’m very sorry Andrew but the requirements are fixed. I could arrange a more private showing if that would help. I have to say Andrew that if your design is anything like the work you’ve produced so far you will not have any difficulties.” She looked sympathetically at the embarrassed boy, a blush washing across his cheeks.
“It’s OK Andy, look at what you were able to do at the Mall last night! You have a great eye for fashion, it must be from all those London Fashion Shows.” Connie look encouragingly at Andrew. Perhaps it won’t be so bad after all, maybe I’ll get a better mark because of it? “Hey, perhaps we can work together too, it’ll be fun.”
Connections, thought the School. Andrew was becoming accepted by a growing number of students but still there was an emptiness that the School instinctively reached out to comfort. Andrew needed to change and connect with her emotions, if he kept them bottled up eventually when they did burst through he would be damaged… The changes planned for Andrew would develop him into a more emotionally rounded person and help the McMahons too.
At the end of the day, “No Hassle” Castle met Andrew. “Hey, how’s it goin’? Thanks for that bit of calculus, you really helped me out there.”
“Bit of a downer after yesterday with the girls.” Andrew looked down a little, “Got a project for Home Ec and I don’t think I’m going to get out of it. I could try Mom but…”
“Been there, once Mom gets her mind made up, that’s how it’s going to be.” Jack smiled down at his friend. “One thing I’ve noticed here is that people really pull together so if you think there’s a problem somebody will help you out.” Squeezing his shoulder, Jack looked at the despondent Andrew. “Look gotta go practice, can I visit later?”
“Sure, we could take in a DVD or something, catch up with homework or something?”
“Great, about sevenish?”
The evening went fairly well once Andrew had gotten over the inconvenience of having European format DVD’s which didn’t play. He got a playful punch to the arm as the pair collapsed laughing. After that minor debacle, the pair made inroads into their shared homework, Andrew remembering his copy of “Calculus for the Completely Confused” and made a show of presenting it to Jack.
“Here, I found this useful when I was studying and I don’t think I’m going to get the use out of it for a while. Stupid Office Ed course but, well that’s how things are at least for the rest of the year.” Andrew explained sadly, he enjoyed mathematics and other subjects but knew he had to make the best of things.
“I know it’s frustrating but don’t let it get to you. Hill Street High is pretty good and you’ll fit in in no time. Back in England did you have the social life you’ve got now?” Jack tried to cheer Andrew up, he suspected Andrew was feeling a little out of place but he wanted his friend to see just how great life could be in the community.
“I don’t know, its been a rough year but I have a feeling that things are going to get better. Hey, fancy a run tomorrow?”
“Sorry Andy, Football practice tomorrow maybe you can meet us after practice and we’ll take in a coffee?”
“Sure, I can do some work in the Study Centre and meet you afterwards.” The idea of going out with Jack gave him a warm glowing feeling inside.
The following morning, the Prankster struck again. What the H E double hockey sticks in going on here? Andrew held a pair of soft stretchy plain white briefs between finger and thumb. A brief search told him that his own briefs were nowhere to be found. Well, the option is to wear them or go commando. That’s a non-starter he thought. With a sigh, Andrew pulled the soft briefs into place, completed dressing and left for Home Ec.
“Given any thought to your design Andrew?” Mrs Hartford asked him as he took his place.
“Sort of Ma’am I decided that this is a really good test of my design and sewing skills. If I can make the outfit look good on me then its got to be worth an A*!” He smiled back at her.
“That’s the spirit!” Mrs Hartford grinned. “Perhaps you can work with Connie and her friends to come up with a nice set of matching outfits. Of course, it also means you can save some money by clubbing together for accessories.”
“Sure, that’s great we can hit the Mall again after School?” Connie beamed.
“No can do, I’m going out with Jack after practice.” Andrew grinned back thinking about the coming evening. “Maybe tomorrow or the weekend? It’ll be great getting some help from you and your friends.”
“Oh that’s a shame, but we can check our ever crowded calendars and try to fit you in.” dramatically raising the back of her hand to her forehead in a ham actor gesture. It was too much, Andrew and Connie erupted into fits of giggles as they collected the sewing kits.
“Girls…” Mrs Hartford gently scolded as with a raised eyebrow she watched the pair calm down and set to work. She is really developing Mrs Hartford thought as she went to assist a pair of students with setting their sewing machine up.
Excellent the School thought Andrew is really fitting in now and soon Andrea can begin to emerge in her own right. Interesting that there was no thought of resistance when she found her first panties. The School had learnt that not all its charges needed to change but for some it was the best way forward to become better people or to find healing…Slowly and gently were its watchwords for the moment.
One thing that Andrew had got used to from the first day was the fact that the toilet seats did not move. It had started as “one of those things” but rapidly become a habit for him to sit down and take care of business. He was doing it at home too, quite unconsciously wiping himself dry with toilet paper. Well a girl should look after herself… Whatever, he thought.
Returning to his locker to prepare for Dance, Andrew found the outfit had changed. Well I MUST have put it there he thought. Pale blue polo shirt and high cut shorts, ankle socks and the most darling pair of dance pumps with pink stitching and laces. So flexible and they fit just perfectly but there was something that was waaay out of place. Checking the time, Andrew noticed a bottle of hair remover and reading the instructions on his way to the shower began to wet himself down prior to gently rubbing the lotion over his arms and legs…
Much better! Andrew thought as he emerged into the corridor and made his way to the Dance Studio for his lesson. He could feel the draught in the corridor playing across his newly denuded arms and legs and wondered how that cutie Jack would react when he saw her… him…
“Looking good Andy! Those legs are just amazing.” Connie gave a broad smile as Andrew entered the Studio.
“Thanks, a gir… guy should try to look good eh?”
“Sure, good job you’re going out with Jack after School then. Too bad we couldn’t make the Mall as well but you’re right, Friday should be OK. Ready for some Power Shopping then?”
“Shopping? You make it sound like a military campaign girl.”
“Well the secret is planning Andy, oh and having a nice guyslave to carry for us!”
With that, the pair went into their Modern Dance routine. To Andrews surprise the outfit was so much more comfortable, not tangling as he made the more athletic steps. Mrs Bold their Dance teacher was so impressed she got the pair to repeat the performace for the rest of the class.
“Wow, it’s a shame you both missed tryouts for the Cheer Squad. Maybe September?” Annabelle, one of the Cheerleaders looked on approvingly.
A cheerleader? I’m a guy not a gal! Andrew thought wildly but he could see Connie and herself, himself he corrected, gyrating in their uniforms watching Peter and that cute Jack “No Hassle” Castle perform on the field. Maybe she, he, could get Jack to explain what to his foreign eyes was Rugby with body armour…
“I don’t know, its not something we really had back home.” Andrew answered pensively but brightened up with the thought “But HERE is home now so I should join in more yes?”
“That’s the spirit girl, you two can keep an eye on Jack and Pete too”
“Girls, more practice, less chit chat.” Mrs Bold ordered smiling.
The lesson finished a few minutes early and Andrew knew that after the strenuous dances she, no he, needed to get cleaned up. Making his way to the shower, Andrew felt the warm water flow across her, his, body. The feeling was totally different from the way she had taken showers in the past. Emerging from the shower, Andrew saw Patty McMahon collecting her books.
“Hey Andy, nice hair. You do something different to your looks?”
“No, just trying to take better care of my hair and so on.”
“Cool, can I work on your hair before next period? I help my best friend Rachael all the time. I promise I won’t do anything you can’t undo. Just brush it while it is still damp?”
“Sure, I’ve never really done much with it just au-naturelle you know”
“What! With hair like yours I bet Tere could do even better but there’s a great salon that Mom takes us to in the Mall, M’Lady it’s called, you are sooo missing out on the experience. I mean, getting a nice hairdo and mani-pedi can be such a dreamy thing.” Patty was already brushing Andrews hair into a rather androgynous style, gently curling at the neck with a fringe falling over towards her, his, eyebrows.
For Andrew it was such a dreamy feeling to have his hair brushed into shape and he wondered if his allowance would stretch to a visit to the salon rather than the straightforward barbers he used to use. Why would I use a barber? I need to take care of my hair properly, she, no he, thought.
Yes! The School thought, slowly and gently easing Andrew into her new life as Andrea. Connections made and was there a spark between “No Hassle” Castle and Andrea, a spark that may even grow into love? A wave of pleasant thoughts swept across the school as staff and students suddenly felt so very good about something they did not quite understand. Even the sun reflecting off the windows seemed to reflect a degree of happiness in the school.
Sporting her new hairstyle, Andrew made his way out into the corridor. Oddly, nobody made any nasty comments as he realised that Patty had styled it into an androgynous style neither fully female nor overtly male but it felt lovely. Andrew wondered if that cute boy Jack would appreciate it, the thought bringing a gentle smile to his lips as she imagined how it would feel tilting her face to meet his…
With a spring in his step Andrew made his way to the next class having completely forgotten that today his mother was scheduled to visit Ms Werner, the School Counsellor for a review and progress meeting. Connie met him and they made their way to Home Ec and his date with the fine art of sewing. It was a surprise but Andrew had something of a knack with a needle and thread and had already earned his first A for sewing. Nice to get the grade but too bad my first A is for sewing a new apron and Mrs Hartford has me wearing it in class. Mom will have a cow! He thought as they entered the class.
His mother was, at that very moment, feeling a pride in her child’s achievements. Ms Werner, the School Counsellor, was delivering a progress report about Andrew and how he was making friends both boy and girl and settling into the new environment. She felt a warm glow as she thought of the lifelong friendships with her girlfriends, she remembered the sleepovers and gigglefests that ensued. Ms Werner continued to describe the classes and teachers reports and, as she expected, academically all was going quite well. The only cloud on the horizon was Andrews reaction to the death of his father, afterwards it was though all his emotions had turned off but lately, she realised that Andrea had been much more open with her emotions.
The School was happy with the developments, Andrea's mother had visited a few times and she had been receptive to the gentle nudges the School had given.
“So how’s the design coming?” Connie asked.
“Not too sure, I’ve some ideas but think I might look in the Mall and see what they’ve got there.”
“Well with that hairstyle you’re going to find plenty to suit you hun” Connie looked closely at Andrew made a slight frown and looked pensive.
“What’s wrong? Did Patty make a mess?”
“No doofus! I’ve just noticed your ears.”
“What? What’s wrong with them?”
“Nothing silly!” she beamed “but why haven’t you gotten them pierced?”
“Oh I see, it just… well I never really thought about it, why?”
“Well you’d look really cute with a set of earrings and you need some accessories for the outfit and show. Maybe we can hit Claires too?”
“What’s a Claires?”
“Trust me Andy, you’ll love it and we can hit Claires on Friday after school.”
“Ladies, I understand the need to talk occasionally but you really need to get a grip of the political system here in the United States.” Mr Bainbridge, the Pol Sci tutor reminded them. He was generally quite easy going, not minding a little chat if it was matched by work and returned to the explanation of State Government.
“Hey Andy, something’s changed about you.” Jack giving another broad grin that Andrea found cute and seemed to be doing so more often.
“Little me?” Andrew returned the smile.
“I know…” he leant forward, “You’ve changed your hairstyle! I like it, it really suits you but…”
“But what?”
“I was wondering why you never pierced your ears.”
“Funny, Connie mentioned that in class. We’re going to somewhere called Claires when we hit the Mall on Friday. What are we doing tonight?”
“Well I thought a quick bite at Rusty’s and then take in a movie. Any preference about that?”
“Not really, let’s see what’s on then go to Rusty’s?”
“Sure, no hassle.”
Shyly reaching out his hand, Jack took hold of his friends delicate hand as they walked out of the School. Andrew felt a flush as her friend took her hand and thought a blush was playing across her face. She leant gently into Jack as they walked towards Rusty’s…
Almost there! The School though as the two close friends left together. Much better to let things develop in their own way and Jack and Andrea were fast becoming a couple. Still, there was the emptiness that lay in Andrea’s heart and the School knew that it could not intervene directly.
They ended up selecting a “Rom-Com” rather than the SF and action movies Andrew had enjoyed in the past. Indeed, Andrew spent most of the movie snuggled up against Jack’s chest. Somehow it seemed so very right to be held close by his friend. The walk back home was taken slowly and there seemed to be little to say in words but the gestures and actions told of a growing and deepening relationship.
“Thanks for a lovely evening Jack….” Andrew hesitated as he looked deeply into his eyes.
“No hassles? I’ve not enjoyed an evening like that since…. Well you are wonderful company. Can we do this again?”
Andrew felt a blush begin to build and rise on her cheeks as she tilted her face upwards just as Jack leant in towards her. The kiss was fleeting, unexpected, but it sent shockwaves flickering across her body. She felt her nipples harden as feelings that she had never considered flew across her mind.
“I’d love to Jack. This weekend?”
“Sure, I’ve got a match Saturday afternoon, say how about you join us and we can take another movie or a meal afterwards?”
“Great, I’m shopping with the girls after school on Friday so can get a new outfit to wear too. Football is still a total mystery to me but I’ll bet you can’t wait to explain the finer points.”
“You bet I would Andy, well I’ve got to go. Thanks for tonight.” With a final wave Jack turned and made his way home as Andrew opened the front door of their home.
Stepping into the living room, Andrew found his mother waiting for him…
“Nice night out?”
“Sure, Jack’s invited me to join him on Saturday and watch a football match. I still don’t think I’ll ever get used to the sport but it sounds like it’ll be fun.”
“”Well I saw your counsellor and got your progress report. I’m pleased that you are settling in so well. Now what’s this about a fashion show?”
“Mo-om!” Andrew whined, the pleasant feelings from this evening beginning to dissipate as he wondered what his mom had been told.
“I just heard that you are designing a dress and modelling it in the fashion show.”
“Well its part of the assessment, I have to do it but perhaps can model the dress more privately….”
“No dear” she smiled, “I’ve spoken to Mrs Hartford and she has agreed you can take part with everybody else in your class. Trust me, modelling can be great fun, you can get glammed up and I know you can design a lovely outfit. Tell you what, we can get you a nice appointment for a makeover before the show but you’ll need some better clothes. As a reward for doing so well, I’m going to give you an allowance for some new clothes so when you and the girls hit the mall you can do a little “power shopping”. Trust me dear, you are going to enjoy it.” His mother gave Andrew a warm smile “Now I think you still have homework to do so scoot!” She sat back with her coffee thinking how nice it was that her child was finally leaving that extended tomboy phase…
Andrew sat in his room thoughts flying through his mind. Idly he scratched at his chest, he had changed the washing powder several times but he must he developing an allergy he thought… But new clothes? What should a girl wear on Saturday when she went on another date with that hottie Jack? Andrea lay back on the bed as a smile flickered across her lips as she remembered the kiss…
“So how did last night go? Come on… spill!” Connie was all but bouncing as she saw Andrew arrive at school the following morning.
“Weell, it’s like this… We took in a move after getting a bite to eat at Rusty’s.” Andrew gushed, “then he walked me home and….”
“No! He kissed you? What was it like girl?”
“It was just a touch but you know that phrase “Time stood still”?”
Connie nodded as Andrew continued…
“It DID! We’re going out on Saturday to watch him play in the game. Mom gave me some extra money for clothes when we hit the mall too.”
“Awesome, you can get a new outfit and wear it when you go out Saturday.”
Later that day, Andrew found his t-shirt had changed for a softer, shorter one in pastel blue that felt so much better against his chest.
“Andrew? How long have you been itching like that?” Patty looked across the room to where Andrew was collecting his things.
“A while now, I think I must have picked up some allergy or something. I’ve tried changing washing powders and things but can’t seem to shake it off.”
“Hmmm, mind if I take a look?”
“Well, no I suppose not.”
Patty came across the room to where Andrew was standing and gently placed a finger on his chest…
“Thought so, I’ve got a tube of cream that will help keep the irritation under control. It’s nothing to worry yourself about but I bet you are finding these softer fabrics far more comfortable.” Patty came back with a small tube, “Just work a little into your chest where the itching seems worst.” Passing the tube to Andrew, he took the tube without thinking and rubbed a small amount of the gloop into his chest.
“Ohhh, thanks, that feels so much better.”
“Don’t mention it Andy, glad to help out. Catch you later, gotta go find Luke!” With that, Patty made her way out to where her boyfriend was waiting.
Patty is so helpful Andrew thought. Shame about her daddy though but she is such a nice person. Running the brush through her long ash blonde hair she wondered about the forthcoming shopping trip. Perhaps she could try a new hairstyle too, but didn’t want to lose too much hair. She could ask Connie for some tips as well. It was nice of mom to allow her some extra funds to get new clothes, she really had been in a bad tomboy phase with those rough grungy clothes. Pulling her capris on, she looked oddly at them, she must have worn them when she came but surely she was wearing jeans when she came to school. No matter, these fit perfectly and the pink decorated training shoes looked astonishing with them.
The School observed the beginnings of Andreas blossoming into the woman she needed to be. It felt the warm glow of love growing between her and Jack and the developing relationships with her girlfriends promised great things in the future. Across the school, pupils and teachers felt unaccountably pleased with their day.
The week flew by in a flurry of lessons, dances and sewing. Andrea still found time to spend with No Hassle Castle and both were looking forward to the coming date on Saturday. Andrea, of course, was occupied with the eternal question… what to wear for the date and how should I style my hair. If there was a cloud on the horizon it was just a zephyr of unease as she thought something was not quite right but each time the thought began to form something else would drive it out, usually in a fit of giggles with Connie and her growing sisterhood of friends. Back in England she dimly remembered always feeling outside the web of friendships and gossip but now she couldn’t think of anything she would change except…
A tear drifted down her cheek…
“Hey cutie, what’s up?” Jack asked concern etched across his face.
“Hmmm? Sorry, something in my eye.” Andrea gave the stock response to unexpected tears. In fact in her heart she knew it was nearly a year since that terrible evening but she resolved to remain strong and comfort her mother.
“Uh… OK hope it isn’t an allergy or something, some students are real martyrs to pollen and stuff and I suppose you haven’t been exposed to the plants and stuff around here.”
“Oh Jack, you make this place sound like a new planet!” Raising the back of her hand to her forehead in a faux-dramatic gesture, “Oh Brave New World and all that.” Giving a grin that lit her face up she playfully punched him on his arm.
“OK, OK I surrender” he laughed, joining in the pleasant feelings that his friend was giving off. That smile lights up the room like the Sun he thought and it’s aimed right at me.
The lesson change bell went off and exchanging a brief hug the pair split and went to their lessons. Jack taking the opportunity to enjoy the view as Andrea made her way along the corridor.
The School watched its latest charge make her way to her lessons. Andrea was continuing to develop and her emotions were beginning to show more clearly. Jack clearly had strong feelings for her and the spark was kindling and developing into a stronger, more nurturing relationship. It was good that she was becoming more attuned to her emotions, soon, it knew, the dam would burst and the healing could begin. It regretted the pain she would feel but it needed release or the damage Andrew had inadvertently done would get worse and past the point of healing.
At home Andrea (when did she begin thinking of herself as she?) found herself no longer concealing her clothes from Mom. She smiled to herself as she thought about the lengths she had gone to, to conceal her clothes. Why would she hide them from her mother? They are so lovely but not as lovely as the dress design she was working on would be when she modelled it! She made a moue as she tried to remember what she wore before coming to her new home. Whatever it was I bet it was cute but I am sooo hitting the Mall with Connie and the girls tonight. Her outfits were so cute Dad would have loved them. A solitary tear made its way down her cheek as she thought how proud her father would have been and she missed his hugs. An odd thought wandered across just then, why do I never seem to have a photo of myself? Because you were holding the camera doofus! She remembered now that she always stood behind the camera but that’s going to change too! Especially with that cutie Jack at the movies tomorrow…
“Hi Mom! Good day at work? I’ve made a salad for us tonight, I’ve got to watch my figure you know!” Andrea beamed “And we’re off to the Mall to get some materials for the fashion project and maybe some new rags too?” Andrea looked hopefully at her mother.
“Thanks, you’re a treasure and NO I haven’t forgotten my promise to you dear. Were you thinking about getting your ears pierced too? I seem to recall something about Claire’s…” her mother looked quizzically at her daughter. She’s growing up so fast now, Michael would have been so proud and probably practicing his DAD look on Jack. Such a sweet young man and I can see Andrea is smitten with him too. Ah young love…
“Well I did promise you some funds for new clothes didn’t I? And I’m so happy to see the end of that tomboy phase, did you say you were going got a new hairdo as well?” Funny, she thought, when she thought about their old lives in Britain but she could never quite see her daughter’s face except as the blossoming beauty her beloved daughter had become. “Now, don’t go mad on this card, I’ve put $200 on for clothes only, as though you’d waste money, you’ve always been careful with your cash.” Leaning across, she and Andrea exchanged deep hugs as the doorbell went. “Remember hun, just the one set in your lobes, or I’ll ground you for a month!” She teased, knowing her daughter had already had that conversation but, well Moms were Moms after all.
“That’s Connie, catch you later Mom!” With a smile, a wave and a happy bounce, Andrea slid to the door to greet her friends.
The short drive to the Mall was punctuated by giggling, laughing girls as they planned their shopping expedition with the precision of a military operation. Andrea thought D-Day didn’t get this level of planning, she joined in the giggles as she imagined “General Connie” resplendent in her uniform barking orders to her troops.
“Remember Andy, Claire’s first girl!” Connie issued the first order of the oncoming campaign.
“Yes Ma’am” Andrea snapped off a salute to a chorus of giggles and more salutes from the girls.
Before coming to Hill Street High, Claire’s was a place that Andrew would have had to be dragged into. Now she was part of a gaggle of teenage girls on a mission… Connie and Tina found the cutest set of bracelets but Andrea’s eyes were drawn to a pair of earrings with an emerald coloured pendant that she knew would look awesome and match her eyes as well as match the dress she was working on. She held them to her ear and looked at her face in the small mirror. Funny though, she would have sworn her eyes were brown like her late Dad’s… whatever, she knew she would look awesome with these eyes and Jack would not be able to resist tomorrow!
“Awesome choice Andy, now you’ve so got to get pierced” Connie giggled with glee.
“I don’t know, doesn’t it hurt?” Andrea asked pensively.
“No, just a noise and then it’s done, I got mine done last year when they had an offer on.”
“What “Ears pierced while you wait?” sort of thing?”
“No doofus, spend $30 and they throw in the piercing. Look the offer is still on so let’s grab a few more accessories. A girl simply cannot have too much jewellery. Look I’ll hold your hand if you’re nervous but really, there is nothing to worry about. Sure they’ll feel a bit delicate for a while and there’s a certain amount of aftercare but I can see you’ve been brushing regularly just from the sine in your hair so let’s get you inducted into the “Sisterhood”!”
“So ready to get your first pair?” a young fair haired woman took her place at the seat. “Nothing to worry about, I’ll just mark your lobes and then we can look at your choices for studs. I suggest those because they will be easier to deal with while you heal. We provide a care solution to help you heal faster. Did you have a pair in mind for your first pair?”
Andrea showed her selections, quietly admitting that she would love to wear the pendants but knew she needed to get used to the new look first. She selected a pair of jade green studs in a simple jewelled setting.
“Good choice for a first pair, bet you can’t wait to wear those pendants.” There was a hiss of air and a thud as the piercing gun did its work.
“I barely noticed a thing! Thanks”
“Well the trick is to keep your mind on something else and look away”, another brief noise and Andrea showed her new studs to her clapping friends.
“Now the first order of business is covered, our quest continues. The Mall awaits!” Connie commanded.
Thanking the assistant and paying the bill, Andrea joined her friends on their journey into the complex world of fashion.
“Remember that I still need some things to finish my dress off. I’ve pretty much finished the design but still want to find simply the right material to make it work. Can we stop off there first?”
“Of course your ladyship”, Connie giggled, “let’s get business sorted and then…”
“Pleasure!” they all chorused.
The blizzard of activity as the girls circled their prey began to subside as hushed comments about how a swatch of fabric looked, felt, was raised to their skin and either consigned to the growing reject pile or placed to one side for consideration began to abate. Andrea gave a happy shriek as she noticed an offcut of taffeta a deep red, almost a black.
“That’s perfect, just the thing to accessorise my design and there’s just enough too.” Giving a happy smile, she gathered up the cloth, taking care to make sure that it didn’t get dirty.
“Andrea, “ Connie looked pensive, “You know that it’s a lovely design but, well don’t you think its in danger of showing a bit too much?”
“No, I’ve made sure that it covers all eventualities so to speak.” She smiled back.
“No doofus, I meant you need something extra to show yourself off you know. You’ve got a great figure and it's time to move a little upmarket. Jack won’t know what hit him tomorrow!” Connie giggled as Andrea’s face fell when she realised Connie was looking very meaningfully at the entrance to Victoria's Secret…
“I can’t go in there! I’m…I’m… I’m a” Andrea stuttered…
“A very beautiful young lady who needs the right underthings to help her new design get showed off the way she deserves” Connie calmed the blushing Andrea. “You’ve got…. Well boobies dear, we girls are allowed to admit the fact after all. Now I bet they’ve got some great outfits for us. Come on girls!” Imperiously Connie gave a wave and a broad smile and holding Andreas hands they made their way into a wonderland of satins and lace…
An assistant saw the group of girls entering the store, one of the girls was a little androgynous in appearance but very feminine in her mannerisms. Her accent was a little difficult to place until she remembered watching TV and listening to the English in costume dramas, was she really English? Connie took charge and they shared a cubicle to get Andrea fitted for her first really adult lingerie. A few “accidental” brushes to the new girl and she was convinced that she was just a late bloomer but her beauty was going to stop traffic. The slightly reticent girl was persuaded to try a number of bras and lingerie sets, occasionally s tremble as if she were unsure then she would stiffen and a new resolve would pass as the girls selected a number of outfits.
Well, she thought to herself, something to tell Big Sis when I get home…
Andrea found herself leaving the store with a selection of outfits, stockings and other delicates. The bags leaving nothing to chance that a casual observer may know what feminine delights were in the bags. Thinking she was safe for a while, she did not resist as Connie and her friends led her past the Food Court and into a shoe store…
“I’ve got a few pairs already, do I really need more?” She pleaded as the pack of shopping frenzied girls led her into the waiting maw of another store. Shelves packed high with shoes of all shapes, sizes and colours.
“Andrea, no girl has just a few pairs you have no idea of how many different types you need to be introduced to. Did you really have just a few pairs? We thought you English had style!”
“Well we do, I’m still getting retail therapy for my extended tomboy phase. I know I need to get used to more fashionable shoes but there’s something to be said for a good pair of Jeans and Trainers.” Andrea looked at her feet.
“Well we’ve got time to give you a good old fashioned makeover before you meet Jack tomorrow. Peter will be picking us up so we can all go together. Now let’s take a look at your new shoes girl!”
To Andrea’s surprise, Connie reappeared with what to her eyes seemed the thinnest and tallest heels she had ever seen. Andrea had expected a slight heel not the 3”+ jade green pair that Connie waved smilingly at her.
“Don’t worry, you’ll soon get used to a pair like this, just don’t make a habit of it or you’ll store up trouble for the future. Mom’s a chiropodist and gets really antsy about heels. They help your legs look great but a girl pays a price for beauty.”
“What, you mean they’ll cripple me, probably break my ankle when I fall off them”
“No girl, just get used to the feel, I’m not too sure of the colour for you and your outfit and you’ll feel the burn in your legs later. Just take smaller steps and you’ll slay Jack when he sees you, Pete had best keep his attention on me too.” She grinned back. “Besides, I only want them to have eyes for me!” Connie’s eyes twinkled with gentle amusement and Andrea knew she was teasing her.
Pulling her into a hug, Andrea breathed in her ear, “Thanks for being here for me Connie, it means so much to have friends I can trust.”
“Awww you’re just saying that but it must be so difficult coming to a new place for you.”
“It’s not just that, it’s well…” Andrea fell silent and gave a happy grin, “You’re all so awesome, thanks.” Silently concealing the foreboding that the coming anniversary was filling her with.
A happy period of shoe trying, Andrea tottering a little in unfamiliar high heels and finding herself laden with a few more boxes…
“I wish Jack were here now rather than at practice.”
“Why? You’ll see him tomorrow you know, girl you’ve got it bad!” Connie giggled.
“No, we need a nice guyslave or two to carry our baggage silly!”
“Oh well, we’ll just have to make our way back slowly. Ready to refuel at the Food Hall?”
The gaggle of girls made their way back to the Food Hall, Andrea found herself reacting to the occasional stares and glances from some of the other boys around the Mall. Occasionally she adjusted her outfit but in the main Jack was on her mind far more. Thoughts about the coming date and watching the match but definitely her attention would be on Jack…
“MOM!” Andrea almost shouted when her mother asked about her purchases.
“Now dear, I know you might feel a little embarrassed about mother looking at your new clothes but you are still learning and the loveliest of clothes can look terrible if you are wearing unsuitable lingerie. Now be a dear and let me look at your new lingerie. It isn’t as though I’ve never seen you deshabille is it?” Andrea felt suddenly uncomfortable but the logic of her mother was inescapable. Opening the bags and boxes she proceeded to hold up the assorted items. “Really Andrea, you of all people should know you need to wear this lovely lingerie so I can see how well it fits. I’m sure the fitter at Victoria’s did a good job but mother knows best you know.”
“But nobody else will see them mom.” Andrea almost whined.
“Really?” her mother asked with a raised eyebrow and a very knowing expression on her face. “Not even Jack?”
Andrea felt the blush rise from her very toes at the thought, but why would I not let Jack see or feel this lovely lingerie? The thought of Jack’s hands drifting up her legs to feel her stockingtops gave her the most wonderful feeling but she valiantly tried to hide that from her mother.
Realising that she was about to receive both the “Mother Stare” and the “Mom Voice” Andrea surrendered to the request with just that little piece of teenage rebellion that says “I am grown up, sort of…” She opened the bags and laid them across her bed for inspection. There was no way she could hide the femininity of many of the garments but they made her feel soo very good.
“Andrea, I think you need to actually wear some of these so I can get a good idea of how they fit. I know you want the floor to open under you but really, you are a young lady beginning to enter the bloom of womanhood. You know there is a conversation we will have to have in the near future dear. For now, let’s get these tags off and you can show me how you look. Did you get those bras fitted properly?”
Andrea remembered the young lady with the tape measure and nodded.
“Good, it is very important to have properly fitted underthings, you will understand when you get a little older. Now why did you choose a suspender set as well as hose, thinking about Jack were we?” Her mother gave a knowing smile, “Nothing to worry or be embarrassed about, both options have their merits and there’s no law against feeling good is there? Oh and that’s the material for your dress design! It looks simply darling, you’ll knock them dead hun! Just remember, be a Lady and let the boys down gently. Somehow I don’t think you will ever have that problem with Jack, he is such a gentleman and the way he treats you reminds me of your father when we met.” A slightly sad look ghosted across her mother’s face, it was almost a year since that day…
The following day, Connie and Peter picked up Andrea and Jack and went to the game. Andrea still did not really understand much of what was going on but resolved to learn at least enough to follow the game. Afterwards, she and Jack had a light meal, Jack gallantly holding the chair as she sat. Andrea thought afterwards that she really couldn’t remember what she ate as she spent most of the time watching Jack, looking into his eyes and realising he was doing the same…
The movie could have been anything, neither of them had eyes for anything but each other. Jack escorted Andrea home and the mutual kiss on her doorstep was one in which time stood still for both of them. Andrea even raised one slender leg in that classic “Stork” pose lovers sometimes use.
School on Monday was almost an anti-climax. There was one thing that ate at Andrea’s heart as she entered the changing room giving a shy wave to Jack as she did so. Jack’s heart was in his mouth and worry ate at him, something was wrong but the date and afterwards had been wonderful, he knew he had behaved correctly, what was it? He made his way to his locker, brow furrowed with concern. Andrea sat on the bench in front of her locker, it wasn’t about Jack, he was so sweet and gentle. He couldn’t know that one year ago was the terrible day her beloved father was taken by a drunken driver. She remembered the Policeman and woman who brought the news that her father, so careful in his driving would never be coming home. The emptiness in her soul had scarred her emotions, driving them deep inside while she remained strong for her mother.
“Hi Andrea, good weekend?” Patty and Tere McMahon entered the room. Suddenly, they noticed the emotions warring for control, the tremble of Andrea’s lips and eyes. “What happened? Did something go wrong between you and Jack?” Patty knelt next to Andrea, concern etched across her face.
A tear began to form at the edge of her eye as Andrea looked at Patty, “No, it’s not that, it’s….it’s…” she paused, collecting her thoughts and struggling to bring her emotions under control, so much for a stiff upper lip she thought. “This time last year, my father died. There was a drunk driver and they say daddy could never have known much about it but… but… I’ve been strong for Mom but I just can’t…” Tears began to flow down her cheeks as the emotions pent up for so very long finally broke through the wall she had built to stay strong for her mother.
Patty and Tere were there in an instant, embracing Andrea in a group hug as the emotions each of them had held back finally broke through. Tears streaming down cheeks as they began the process of grieving for their loss and above all to heal the wounds of love. Each loved their father even when there had been the occasional difference of opinion as there always will be between parents and their children.
The School felt their pain, it had to send help, students were hurting even though this was the pain of the healing process beginning…
Principal Harris and Counsellor Werner were at that time walking to another meeting when they heard a sound that was very rarely heard at Hill Street High. Ms Werner placed a gentle hand on Mr Harris’ arm as he turned toward the changing room door and raised a finger to her lips.
“Wait, if this is what I think it is we must wait. Andrea, Patty and Tere all have a loss in common and they’ve bottled it up for a long time. Not all tears are wrong and these tears are healing, letting emotions suppressed finally out. I’m going to clear my diary for the day, I think I will have some work to do.”
Principal Harris considered the advice, his instinct was to help but Ms Werner was probably right. Walking slowly and silently into the room he placed a number of slips of paper by the girls who were all but oblivious to his presence. Three Hall Passes with instructions to report to Ms Werner before going back to lessons.
The tears lessened but the girls were still locked in a group hug passing strength, understanding and emotion between them. Tere noticed the passes first but said nothing, pausing to wipe her reddened eyes she looked at her sister and Andrea. She loved her sister and Andrea was a really nice person, a little withdrawn when she came and was that really her hair colour? Something about the past drifted across her mind but like morning mist was gone before she could really think about it. It wasn’t important, the world was the way it should be and she could feel the pain of losing her father lessen a little. She knew it would never truly go away but now they could heal and move on.
The School observed its most recent changees, Andrew would not have survived his emotional turmoil. He had become an emotional cripple, unable to deal with his loss and isolated from everybody about him. Andrea was learning to get in touch with her emotions and the growing love between her and Jack promised great things in the future for both of them. It would take time and all three would have a number of sessions with Ms Werner but they would all return to school happy again.
“Hey girls, Principal Harris left us passes to see Ms Werner. We’d best repair the damage before we get seen on the corridors” Tere advised the others.
“OMG I look awful!” Andrea sniffled, looking at the dark trails her mascara had left on her cheeks. But within she felt, better… freer than before as though a great weight had been lifted from her spirit.
“Not to worry, I’ll get Patty fixed up then we can get you looking lovely again.” Tere smiled. She realised that they had a common bond in their loss but a stronger one in their caring for each other.
Almost half an hour later the three young ladies with faces and hair repaired made their way to Ms Werner’s office. Initially they all sat together while Ms Werner explained the counselling process they would be going through. It was a good thing, she told them, to let the bottled up grief out and begin the process of coming to terms with their loss. She arranged for each to have two short sessions twice a week for the next month and had already discussed this with both their mothers. She did remind them that it is OK to cry and that this is a natural part of the healing process.
Jack was waiting in the corridor outside Andrea’s changing room, concern and worry etched across his face. Wanting to take her into his arms and hold her, protect her from whatever was hurting the woman he realised he loved deeply. There, he admitted to himself, I love her, I want to stay with her for the rest of my life if she will have me.
Andrea appeared, walking along the corridor from her meeting with Ms Werner, tears still welling in her eyes but feeling much better. Jack made to move toward her but hesitated not wanting to be the cause of her tears.
“Jack!” she called, breaking into a run and holding her arms wide.
Released from his hesitation, Jack took Andrea into his arms, hugging her close as Andrea’s tears dried on his shirt.
“Is everything OK Andrea?” He looked down, concern etched upon his face.
“It is now Jack, Ms Werner explained that not all tears are wrong. It’s just that my father was killed exactly a year ago and I’m only really starting to come to terms with that. Oh no! Did you think it was something from our second date?”
“Well yes I did. Hey you said second date? Does that mean there will be more?” he gave a hopeful look.
“Of course…. There is something I need to tell you though…”
The School looked at Andrea and Jack in their loving embrace, Teresa and Patty McMahon along with Andrea had started the road to healing. Andrea was blossoming into the beautiful, caring lady she was meant to be. Andrew, the emotionally crippled boy could never have come to terms with the loss and had secretly thought about ending his life. Across the School, students and staff felt a wonderful, warm glow wash over them. Something wonderful had happened…
Looking deeply into Jack’s eyes, Andrea whispered…
“I love you.”
Just a brief coda to a story I wrote a while back. I am unsure about continuing this tale as I have an impatient Dragon and rider to deal with and they are both getting rather short tempered!
Coming Solanth...
Summer was approaching and the weather was becoming much warmer than she remembered her previous life back in England. Strange, she thought¸ I remember the weather but it is almost as if somebody else was there too. A boy? She gave a shy smile to herself as she remembered Jack “No Hassle” Castle holding her in his arms last night and the warmth of their shared embrace at the Easter Dance. Their love had blossomed like the flowers in their gardens and she knew Jack would always love and care for her as much as she did for him.
Life in the School had settled down, well in so much as life in any High School might be considered “settled”. But there was something about Hill Street High that felt so different to life in her previous schools. One high spot was that somehow, just after Easter, the School Board announced that funds were available for a small indoor climbing wall to be built within the gym. Andrea had barely concealed her joy at the announcement as rock climbing was something she missed since leaving England. The local area was well served with amenities but nowhere reasonable for climbing, certainly nowhere that she considered safe. My cup runneth over, she smiled as she dug into her old outdoor bag and found her climbing harness, helmet and rock boots. Odd though, she thought, I thought they were a little more worn. Still, I don’t have to update anything and it is all a nice fit.
A reward, the School thought, Andrea has accepted her change and her giving nature and love for Jack may be helpful in the future. Remembering the relationship between Danny and Bree and how constructive it had proved, the School considered its relationships with staff and students. Better to move slowly and gently and really consider if change like Andrea’s is actually necessary. But LOVE was such an ephemeral thing but clearly important for its students. Best wait and let things develop in their own time and manner.
“Hey cutie, what’s on your mind?” Jack looked into the eyes of the girl he had come to love. He knew that certain things would have to wait for their proper time and the anticipation would add to the pleasure. Besides, his feelings for Andrea were too strong, he would never, could never, hurt her any more than he could remove an arm.
“Me?” Andrea smiled, curling a lock of hair about her finger and giving him a coy glance. Inside, she knew that once she was rather a tomboy but was becoming much more the “girly girl” as her growing circle of friends had taken to joking with her. Indeed, her dress sense was growing daily and she even enjoyed Connie taking her to raid the stores in the Mall. A feminine experience that she had willingly thrown herself into and was, surprisingly, turning out to be a great deal of fun. “Just remembering last night in the Mall with Connie, but you know for a girl, what happens in the Mall, stays in the Mall” she smiled innocently at him.
“Whoa Andrea, TMI!” Jack sniggered back. “Some things need to remain a mystery to us guys you know.” While privately thinking that Andrea might let him catch a glimpse if he stayed a good boy…
Dreams… sometimes Andrea thought she was a boy but that was silly wasn’t it? She occasionally woke in a cold sweat as though something was wrong but her heart told her that couldn’t be right, could it? If she were really a boy, why did Jack give her so many wonderful feelings? It felt so very right but something in her past felt odd rather than wrong. Why so often the dream of being a boy?
The School felt her thoughts, even when Andrea was away. It was as though she had developed a connection with the School but was not fully understanding herself yet. It was as though she had begun to touch the mind of the School but was not fully understanding herself yet. Andrea was adapting well but had the School overreached itself? What about her past? Records showed that there was no family but it had learned that on occasion, the records were flawed to say the least. Best to let things continue but be wary of any surprises.
A few weeks later and Andrea was surprised to see an unhappy boy sitting forlornly in the changing room.
“Hi there, whats’s up? You look like you’ve found thruppence and lost a shilling.”
“Wha… what?” the boy looked at her. Sadness and embarrassment mixed in his eyes.
“Sorry, figure of speech back home. My Dad used to use it…”
“It’s just that, well this is as girl’s room and I’m not a girl.” He looked down at his feet.
“It’s the overflow room, that’s all. I bet you’ll be first in line for a new locker when one becomes free. Frankly I like having a room almost all to myself and be honest, how many boys can claim to be allowed into a “girls” changing room with the Principal’s permission!” Andrea gave him a friendly smile. “Oh, introductions, I’m Andrea, you’ll probably meet Patty and Theresa soon. That lunk outside is my boyfriend Jack. You’ll like him, he’s really friendly and a great guy.”
“I’m F... Francis” the unhappy boy looked back down to the floor.
“Great to meet you Francis,” Andrea beamed at him. “This place is really great once you settle in. I bet you’re going to have a great time here.”
“Don’t know, I’m probably going to be the butt of everybody’s jokes now I’m in here.” Francis mumbled.
“Nope, I can guarantee that. I hope we can be friends too? Hopefully I’m just the first of many here. It’s odd but in all the time I’ve been here I’ve seen a few practical jokes but there’s never been bullying or anything like that.”
“Yes…but…”
“Nothing bad will happen! What do you think, that there is a girlitizer ray concealed in the room turning every boy who comes in into a girl?” Andrea giggled at the thought. “Really, look at your schedule, I bet it is just totally normal, yes?”
Francis looked at the sheet gloomily, frowned a little more, then the hint of a smile appeared as he looked back at Andrea.
“Well I have got dance and Home Ec but I do love dancing and I really want to work in catering after College. Not flipping burgers, not that there’s anything wrong with starting that way but I want to be a Chef.”
“See, what did I tell you! And it sounds like a great career plan.”
At that, Francis appeared to relax a little, “Yes, I suppose I’d best get the day started.”
“Sure thing, see you later. Tata!” Andrea smiled as she picked up her books and left for the waiting arms of her boyfriend.
“It could be that I’m going to like it here” Francis thought as he put his books away.
Andrea’s laughter rang like a bell as she thought to herself, “A Girlitzer ray! Changing boys into girls! Outrageous, it is just a changing Room and it sure changed me from total tomboy to a girly-girl with a fantastic boyfriend and our whole lives in front of us”
“Hi Hun, what’s with the giggle fest?” Jack looked a little worried. Last time Andrea had giggleitis she and her friends had been planning a series of practical jokes including an awesome “April Fool” spoof.
“Oh just a train of thought that snapped in a funny place. Now where’s my hug?”
The School watched as the two lovers made their way to class. It would take no action over Francis. Once it had been driven by a need to maintain balance but in its lessons over the years it had gained the understanding that change was only truly necessary when the person needed to change.
By Sunwolf
Copyright© 2014 Sunwolf All Rights Reserved. |
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The tale begins in a world of machines, steam and power. Not magic like here, but a thing called “technology” a sort of blend between magic and the abilities of the Artificers Guilds. But one thing we have and they lack are DRAGONS!* * *
I suppose I was always a dreamer, not artistic or anything even close but I did like to imagine other worlds and what people would be like there. Well I got that question answered in short order one amazing day what, some sixty years ago. Although in fairness, I’m not sure if time here is the same as it was in my old home on Earth.
That’s right my darlings, I was not born here but summoned by my Dragon, Solanth. I have never told about my past but now Solanth and I are about to travel on the greatest of journeys I think it is time I revealed a little about my past…
Much of my original world would be so past your understanding my children but there were hundreds of thousands of people living there, great cities that could take up to three days to walk across if you can believe such a thing. But I have been there and seen with my own eyes these things. Yet amidst all the wonders of that place, it was also quite empty for me. I did not feel that I belonged despite being born there. One day, I began to feel a yearning in my heart as though another spirit was seeking me out. Not to dominate, but like a lost child looking for their mother, searching, longing and over time, loving. I know you have had your imaginary friends when you have played but I hope that one of you may be lucky enough to feel the heart of their Dragon.
Over time, I felt my spirit friend grow but not his form, I didn’t know the truth then that dragons are real! It was one wonderful day that I felt a name form in my mind, a powerful name, a true name. The name that I would know my soulmate by for the rest of my life, perhaps I should say lives as one life would soon end and a new and wonderful life begin.
There is little to tell about the accident that ended my first life except that it was an accident and led to a new awakening. I remember the pain, the shock and the greater surprise to look down upon my still, lifeless form although I will admit to finding that there was still a me to do the looking with perhaps more surprising. A great light appeared and HE was there…
“Hello my dear friend, it is time to answer the call of our spirits and begin our new lives together. There will be much sacrifice but happiness and fulfilment beyond your dreams.”
“Well children, if I could have taken a breath then…” I smiled, “seeing a real Dragon is quite a surprise if all of your life you have been told they are myths.”
“Mother, what is a myth? You mean that there are no dragons?” Perivor, my youngest son asked.
“A sort of very long complicated story set in the far distant past but I am sure you will learn more over time and as to dragons...” I gave him a look and returned to the tale. “I had never seen a dragon until then, well not real ones, just in story books. It was strange though, I wasn’t afraid, quite the reverse. It was as though I knew I was safe and more, that I knew this dragon as though I had known him all my life.”
Well, your first dragon is quite the surprise. Solanth, I knew his name even then, looked magnificent. A deep golden bronze colour, yellow eyes with black slit pupils. But he was huge, or so it seemed at the time, wings outstretched and magnificently proportioned. A warm feeling washed over me as his intelligent eyes bore into me.
“Greetings Milady, it is time to move on to your new home. All is prepared, please climb up onto my shoulders. Step up on my forearm and sit at ease on my shoulders just ahead of my wings.”
Again I felt a comforting feeling wash over me as I shrugged and stepped up onto the back of this huge looking dragon.
I felt the muscles of his body contract as Solanth tensed and spreading his wings he leapt up and launched us gracefully into the sky.
My first flight on dragonwing was simply unforgettable. Back before the accident, I flew only when I could not avoid doing so. The wind sang as Solanth and I gained height, the sky changed colour to a lovely orange and strangely I felt something else. My weight seemed to have become distributed a little differently yet I felt a deep sense of reassurance from Solanth as I began to realise that other things had changed in addition to riding on a dragon!
Hair was waving in the wind, I had always kept it short. My hands unconsciously raised themselves to my chest as I realised other things had definitely changed! My stomach leapt into my throat as Solanth arced his wings back, lowered his neck and plunged towards the ground.
“Don’t worry dear Rider, I will never harm you and you will never fall from my back. I have waited for so very long to hold you on my back and feel the wind on my wings the way dragons are meant to be.”
“But… but… I’ve got…” I stuttered hearing my voice snatched away by the wind.
“Think, silly! How have we talked for all this time? Unless you think you were being followed by an invisible dragon!” Solanth’s thought smiled “Oh, I loved James Stewart in “Harvey” by the way. Now we will learn our true natures together, you have had a gentle heart with a strong will and will need that in the years to come. Yes, there are challenges ahead but happiness you cannot believe.”
“But I’m a woman!” I thought back desperately.
“Yes, my rider. Dragons are creatures of magic, formed from magic and their riders are shaped by the magic that creates us. Our riders are always the opposite gender, it’s a balance thing but takes a little getting used to. It is rare and rare indeed for a rider to be called to sacrifice such as you have made but know you are needed now. To become a rider is an honour, to have a perfect soulmate. One who knows and loves you intimately.”
I felt Solanth angle towards a vaguely conical crag, tall but with steep cliffs and dense woodlands scattered about the base. In the sky above, I saw more dragons wheeling, dipping and diving towards a large flat area just above the cliffs. Nestling at the base was a small village, smoke rising from several chimneys but still too far to see anybody or the livestock.
A feeling of electricity ran through me as Solanth dove through a cloud on his way towards the crag. Looking down, I saw that I was rather better dressed than, do you know I cannot remember to this day what I was wearing when we met. Now I was swathed in flexible leather jacket and trousers, dyed a deep red almost a purply plum colour.
“Just a little extra magic my dear. Time to visit our new home at The Castle of Winds. My brothers and sisters are waiting for us as are their riders.”
“But, I can hardly use my old name can I? Are they expecting somebody specific? Do I have a name here?” I felt the beginning of doubt.
“You have always known your true name dragonrider… Remember?”
A name bubbled to the surface, a name I had almost dreamt about but it was not a name for my old life but here…
“Yes my dear Starhawk, welcome home. It has been so very long but now we are here.”
With that, Solanth spread his wings and slowed down to formate with the waiting dragons. Some hovering others swooping playfully, their varied colours of blues, browns, bronzes and others. On their backs sat the riders, arms raised in greeting as Solanth brought his wings forward and slowed for our landing in our new home…
I hope Jenn C is happy with this “sequel”,,,
I read her story and simply had to write this. Just a short jotting and, well it is Christmas, I'm sure others could do better...
With a deep breath, Imelda stepped out into the void, the lights of the city before her twinkled coldly. She had tried, heavens she had tried so very hard to fit in but why couldn’t the world accept her as who she is. The wind rushed past her ears, her dress billowing in the draft…the ground rushed towards her… and she stopped. Suspended in mid-air.. was this it? She looked about but there was no light to move towards, just a short rather portly middle aged man wearing a dark suit and overcoat with a battered old Homburg hat balanced on his head.
“Ah, there you are Imelda. Look I’m sorry about the rush I was supposed to meet you before you… well before…” He looked rather sheepish as he pursed his lips “before you made a terrible mistake Imelda.”
“I don’t think it was a mistake, you don’t know what my life has been like. Incidentally, you are you?” Oddly Imelda didn’t see anything strange in the conversation supposing a near death experience tended to cover strange conversations anyway.
“Near death experience? About 18 inches Imelda. Now…” he looked intently at her, muttered a little and pointing at a group of dustbins… Snapping his fingers, the bins were squashed flat and Imelda stepped lightly to earth as gently as if she stepped off her doorstep.
“Now, I am sure you have a number of questions Imelda and all of them will be answered in time.”
“How do you know my other name? Who are you? What do you want?”
“All in good time Imelda, suffice it to say I will show you why this course is not the one for you. You are a truly special individual and a loving mother, your children need you more than ever Imelda, it is not in your nature to turn your back on those you love. But your true name is Imelda, the shadow life you lived before was the lie”
“I don’t understand, my wife threw me out, my children must hate me and I have nothing left to live for.”
“Really? Let’s look at your life then… Unhappily married and your partner never truly reciprocated the love you gave. Two children from your first marriage, Juan and Maria, lovely children with a glittering future. Look, Imelda I think the best thing is for you to see how the world would be without you. Your friend Boo is quite inconsolable and you have many friends who care about you. Now let’s look at your two children without you, I’m sorry, this may be uncomfortable…”
Imelda found herself drawn with the man towards a grey mist as they passed through…
In a haze she saw her home and her husband (what I thought I was the husband) shouting at her children, posturing and threatening them. Demeaning them and reducing their self respect and feelings of worth.
“I’m sorry Imelda, without you to protect them your husband while he did not physically abuse them he did abuse them emotionally. Time to see more, be brave Imelda remember this is only what happened because you were not there.”
The mist closed again and they reappeared with her son Juan. He was dressed in ragged dirty clothing scraping a living doing odd jobs on the fringe of society. “Imelda, Juan and Maria were thrown out of the home by your husband the day they turned 16. Things have been tough for them without their mother and they miss you intensely.”
“What about Maria? Is she OK? Please I have to know.”
“If you wish but be strong Imelda, remember this is what should happen if you are not there to cherish them.”
He made a gesture and they stood in a motel room, cheap furniture scattered about, clothes and other less domestic sights, in particular small bags of white powder…
“No! What happened?”
“Without you to guide her, when your husband threw them out they were destitute, unfortunately Maria fell into the wrong company and will die young. Life for such people is nasty, tough and short. Now about your third son, Charles…”
“What? I don’t have a child named Charles.”
“Your son from your second husband. After your first husband left you remarried. Happily I’m glad to say, but let us see the final result of you giving up on life now…”
Rather than pass through the mists, the man gestured and a newspaper appeared. The headline read “Terrorist Outrage — Hundreds Dead”.
“Without Charles to protect them, this will happen. They died because he never existed. Now let’s stop looking at the nasty and look at some of the wonderful things in your future.”
The mists cleared but this time formed a mirror like image on the wall. Imelda saw her son, the child who loved his science toys smiling at his parents as he graduated and she knew he had a research post at NASA. Imelda’s heart swelled with pride.
“What about Maria?”
She saw her beautiful Maria receive her Law Degree and start her career as a legal advocate for those less fortunate than herself. She was tipped to join the District Attorney where her reputation for tempering the needs of justice with mercy and understanding was already attracting attention. Imelda still had trouble with this though…
“Look, my wife hates me….”
“Well it’s true that your husband will be leaving you soon and you will be building a new life with your children”
“No I mean I’m not a woman…”
He looked wryly at her, “really? How many gentlemen do you know called “Imelda”?”
“But…”
He smiled a little and raised an eyebrow…
Imelda felt a tingle across her body.
“I was sent to help a woman called Imelda rebuild her life and prevent a mistake. Your name is Imelda and your two children are Juan and Maria?” He looked confused, even concerned.
“Well yes but I’m not really…” Imelda looked at her hands, delicate tanned flesh and coral pink nails delicately manicured…
“Good, I’ve got the right one, You wouldn’t believe the problems I’ve had in the past but after helping good old George Bailey my Bosses have allowed me a little leeway. Now I’m sorry about your husband abandoning you but I guarantee you will meet a truly wonderful man and don’t forget to call your son Charles!”
They were stood at the door to Imelda’s home, “Ready to go back to your life Imelda? Oh, your children cannot see me but I will be keeping an eye on you for a while.”
“But who are you?”
“My name is Clarence and it is up to you now Imelda to have a wonderful life. Remember sometimes the answer to a prayer is YES!”
The door opened as two children ran into their mother’s arms, yelling with joy that their mother was home.
A good friend "passed over the bar" recently, my muse has taken something of a holiday but left me with this thought to deal with. I will get back on track but right now this small doggerel is the best I can offer.
I am the Mask I wear
I am Teacher,
I am Guide,
I am Wanderer,
I am Healer,
I am Seeker,
I am Carer,
I am Solitaire,
I am Man,
I am Woman…
But I dare not lift the mask for fear of finding out who I am…
Am I the Mask or is there nothing beneath…
Who am I?
OK, let’s be clear, I was the original 10 stone weakling. Not muscled but, I suppose, what others would call a “Geek”. I loved reading and research, spent many an evening or a summer afternoon sat in the garden with a book. But despite all that, I loved my family and would do anything to protect my little sister.
My sister, Gail, was a delicate ash blonde girl, 10 years younger than I. Perhaps a foot shorter than me and equally academically inclined, she was the scientist to my general knowledge. I went into the Civil Service as, well a pen-pusher if I’m brutally honest. Gail went to Uni and graduated with a Degree in Biology with and was well on the way to a career in medicine.
Socially, I was the original “Odd One Out”, few really close friends, mostly colleagues with whom I might say “Hello” to but conversation didn’t really go beyond that. I lived my life out of a non-descript flat, bedroom, bathroom and living room cum-kitchen. Again, the opposite of Gail, vivacious and quite the social butterfly she made friends faster than I made tea. The nearest I got was helping out with the Boy Scouts and saying “Hi” to people I passed when I was walking the Lakes or Peak District, wild social life it was not.
By dint of lots of overtime, not taking time off sick or anything I rose to the dizzy heights of pen-pusher after 10 years. Oh I suppose were I not the social recluse I had become I might have played politics but I really had no interest in that sort of thing at all. Gail was working with her University, part of the Science Faculty working on, well frankly I didn’t have a clue, but she said it was “hush-hush” for some company. Well, you know the best way to keep a secret is not to know it and I thought by not wanting to know, I was helping her. Look, I know now! Not that it is going to do me any good now.
“Hey sis, how’s the lotion and potion business going?” Well, I didn’t claim to be a comedian either.
“Marty, it is real research and you know it!” she grinned back, “Look, I know you don’t make an effort to find out what I do”
“Too true sis, you know I don’t want the powers that be thinking I am some Industrial spy trying to steal your secrets. That’s why I keep it at arm’s length, to protect you from rumour and innuendo.”
“That’s more like my big brother, always looking out for me” she grinned.
“You know I would do anything to look after you, that’s what big brothers are for. Anyway, back to the desk grind for me tomorrow, chained to my desk and bored out of my tree”
A hug and I left for my home leaving Gail to wrestle with whatever it was. Driving home in the one luxury I allowed myself, a restored MG Midget. Bright yellow, 1500cc late production it was the first car I ever owned and after keeping it at my parents, I now had it back on the road. Letting the girl come to life (very few machines are anything other than a she) I took her back along the main roads, stopping for coffee and a burger in a quiet suburb that seemed reasonably well heeled and clean.
Walking back to the MG, I heard shouts, footsteps, a woman from the pitch. Click… click… click…
A tall dark haired lady bumped my shoulder, causing me to turn…
What… The… Hell…
Two massive THUMPS and loud BANGS as fire and pain engulfed my chest… The ground seemed to fall up and my face made contact as the world went… Well blank…
I didn’t believe all that “Go to the Light” stuff I heard but was about to have my opinion changed rather forcibly.
“Gaargh!” My mouth feels like a Geisha Girls… Fortunately that little comment never made it past “Gaargh”.
“Hold it sweetie, I’ll get you some water but please don’t try to talk just yet” a melodic and very female voice cooed.
Eyes firmly closed, I felt a straw at my lips and sucked gently. The feel of cold water on my tongue and mouth was lovely and the feeling on my throat was heavenly.
“OK, that’s enough for the moment. I’ll bring you more in a minute but keep your eyes closed while I adjust the lights”
Glittering conversationalist that I was I let that pass with a grunt.
“OK you can open your eyes now honey” The voice came again.
“Honey?” I thought, nobody spoke to me like that. Just my luck, she’s probably married or engaged. Still, I had to know, what the heck happened? Well here goes nothing… I opened my eyes…
Well the Hospital Room was all I expected. Clean, white and smelled of that institutional cleaner that only Hospitals use. The lights came up slowly so I was able to begin taking in my surroundings. Right up to the point I realised I had either lost a lot of weight or had some serious surgery. My chest felt funny, not uncomfortable but there was a lot of weight there that I didn’t remember. Probably the bandages from the whatever happened to me. (Look I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer when I wake up so sue me). Arms a little thinner than before and a lot less hair than I remembered but I put that down to the treatment I must have had. What I DID notice was the needles and IV in my arm along with the straps holding me down on the bed. NOW I thought I was in trouble (See, genius at work eh?).
A rather pretty nurse entered my line of sight, I couldn’t see the door though.. But from her movements I thought she was the Nurse who woke me up earlier.
“Hi honey, I know you are worried about the straps, they are for your safety not to keep you prisoner. Now you are awake we can look at getting them removed. We just wanted the IV’s etc to stay in place so you’d recover faster.
“About that, what happened to me?” I croaked and then stopped. I sounded different as though my voice was higher pitched now.
“You were shot dear. You were very lucky that man was there. He took the bullets that were meant for you.”
“Whaaa?” I feel my body freeze as the shock takes over. What happened? My world turns black.
I return to the world feeling a gentle hand on my forehead. The nurse again I suppose. “My name is MARTY!” my mind screams as my eyes open and see the nurse again. More to the point, I see manicured nails and a chest from a direction that I am more used to ogling at. “What is going on?”
“Hello dear, I know it hurts right now but the IV will keep the pain down. You were lucky that man bumped into you or you’d have swapped places.” She smiled gently, concern clear on her face.
“Swapped places? Of course we swapped places so now I’m dead or a woman or both! Where’s Gene Hunt when you need him? Keep your mouth shut Marty or it’s a one way trip to the Rubber Room for you because they are never, ever going to believe this. Heck I don’t believe this but here I am and I’d best get used to it and sharpish.”
“Shot? When, where? I’m sorry I don’t remember a thing but, well bangs pain and then I woke up here”
“Well you’ve been out for a few days, almost a week. You were in a coma and I think you’ll remember things really soon but the Doctors will help too. They’ll be by soon now you’ve woken up” She gave a reassuring smile as I faded back into blissful sleep.
I woke with a start, still secured on the bed. Familiar feelings of my body were gone, parts north were definitely larger and I could see two further bumps that told me my nipples were erect. Parts south were rather more conspicuous by their absence, no hard feelings (see I can joke about it) from my normal body. I wondered, could you fall asleep in a dream and if you woke up were you in the same one? Not much point considering that because I was definitely in a female body. Who am I? I suppose if this is a dream I’d best play along and if it were a nightmare I could expect the bogeyman sometime soon although frankly having a new body and gender swap counted in the nightmare category for me.
One thing I noticed immediately, the gown I was wearing felt like it had been made out of sandpaper! Now I understood why women really like soft, smooth clothes. Oh heck I thought, at some point I have the dance of the shoe fairy to perform — high heels etc. As for the other thing, I hoped I would have more time to get used to things before that “monthly visitor” put in her appearance.
The nurse appeared, “Good morning! How are you today?” a cheery voice that made me smile and croak a reasonable reply. “Hi, I think I feel a little better. How long do these stay?” I gave what I hoped was a nice smile to go with it. I really did not want to stay tied to a bed. Besides, there were tubes etc in places I really did not want to think about.
“Well that will depend on Dr Bain but I think we can dispense with those things. Possibly even the IV’s too as it looks very much like you are well advanced in your recovery. You had a very strange set of scans when you came in but they all seem normal now.” She gave another bright smile and asked “Ready to try your luck with Hospital food? It isn’t true that it is all bad. I’ll get you a menu and you can choose but I will make some suggestions as you’ve not eaten solids for a few days”
“Ok that sounds reasonable to me. I’m sure the food here isn’t like the rumours. Sorry, I’m being rude… I didn’t catch your name?” I hoped the food was better than the rumour mill made it and looked forward to the tastes of real food. I wondered if food would taste different. Well only one way to find out about that but who am I?
“Sure thing, Ms Edwards. May I call you Martine?” This grey eyed auburn haired angel gave me my first bit of info. “I’m Angela, I’ve been looking after you sine you got here and you are looking so much better already dear.”
Score! At least my first name is pretty similar. Now if I can get to my purse I can find out more about me. Is anybody missing me?
“Oh, sorry, have I had any visitors? You know, family and that?” I asked hopefully.
She pursed her lips and shook her head. “No, sorry I don’t think you have any family. We tried looking just in case but your new Boss has been asking about you.”
Why would my Boss be interested? Where do I work that a NEW Boss is interested? Who is he?
As promised, Angela removed the straps and while I rubbed my wrists back into life she popped out and returned with a cup of tea and a yoghurt. Solid (well sort of) food and it tasted truly heavenly. Perhaps changing bodies had made a difference to even how things tasted. Well either way it was just what the doctor ordered so to speak.
Dr Bain was so not what the doctor ordered however… Oh he was a nice enough chap, late fifties and looked reasonable enough but needs to work on his bedside manner. He breezed in, barely introduced himself before hmmmms and ahhhs indicated he was at least giving the impression of reading the notes. Really, he reminded me of Sir Lancelot Spratt in those old “Doctor” movies. You know the ones, treats patients as a necessary evil but HE is the doctor and does not want to be disturbed by you daring to have an opinion or tell anything about your symptoms. He DID allow the assorted tubes and pipes to be removed and was reasonably gentle too so I forgave the 1950’s trip as getting rid of them made me feel almost human again.
“Now Ms Edwards, how are you feeling?” He suddenly changed tack and became more animated.
“OK I guess, some things are a bit hazy though. Like I cannot remember simple things for example I cannot remember where I work but I’m sure that will all come back.”
“Indeed, you had quite the trauma. Your wounds were not as bad as we feared when you were brought here although I must confess your MRI scan was most unusual. It appeared at first as though your brain was trying to deal with two personalities although clearly that cannot be the case and certainly you appear quite normal now. Your injuries have healed very well, in fact extremely well considering and we kept you in an induced coma simply to assist your healing process. That is why you had all the plumbing and I’m quite sure you are glad to be rid of it. A few days rest and we can look at letting you go home.” He gave a gentle smile so at odds with his previous demeanour that I wondered if there were two of him. Good doc and bad doc!
“Home” I whispered. Of course I didn’t know where that was or much of anything else. Now… where to find some info without looking the complete drip… Of course! A lady has her world in her handbag! I wonder…
“Angela, did my handbag make it here? I don’t think I’m ready to face the world yet but it may help me to remember things a little better.” I gave another gentle smile and hoped she would not think I am trying out for the Funny Farm just yet.
A light laugh and that smile that if I were still in Marty’s body would have had me trying to make a pass at her. I’d get shot down of course, I never was under illusions about that but I hope she doesn’t realise that I’m quite the phoney right now.
“Of course Martine, here it is” she passed over a neat black bag that she extracted from the bedside cupboard. “I don’t think you are ready for makeup just yet though. You still need to recover a little more.” Did she suspect something? Had I let something slip?
“Thanks Angela, I’m sooo not ready for makeup but I’d settle for a nicer nightie. I think this one came from Homebase!” I wrinkled up my nose a little as a smiled at the thought of discussing clothes in the future.
“I know, “ she gave a sympathetic smile, “unfortunately hospital issue like that doesn’t tend to be the most comfortable. They are chosen to be quite hard wearing instead and are not the most flattering. I am sure we can help you get one that is more comfortable. Perhaps from home or we can arrange to buy one if you like.”
“OK, oh shouldn’t the Police or whatever be seeing me now that I’m awake? I know my memory is a bit iffy but they are going to have some questions aren’t they?” I was worried that they may think me delusional or something and I really could not remember much from before.
I took a brief look into my handbag. The “normal” Oh how can I call this normal? A small makeup bag, items of shall we say… use your imagination oh I am sooo screwed. OMG I can be! I put that thought well away into the “look at that one with a glass of wine” category. A purse, containing credit cards, phone and some other documents. A Drivers Licence, some keys. Oh Lord, where have I left the car?
“Angela, did I leave a car parked somewhere? Or has it been towed away? Oh, I’m being silly aren’t I? The Police would want it for the investigation.”
“No, I think some of your memory is coming back but yes, the Police have your car. They will arrange for you to get it back when you are discharged. Really, there is nothing to worry about.” She gently pushed me down onto the pillow, “Now get some rest, this is all strange to you. Waking up in a Hospital and not really remembering who you are and what happened.”
“Hmmmm….” I felt my eyes grow heavy and again sleep took me.
I looked about me, I was standing on an open sandy beach, waves lapping at my toes. Feeling the soft sand, I looked down and saw two slender feet and ten brightly painted toes. What the…. Behind me, footprints stretched along the wide beach already being washed away by the waves. Seabirds wheeled about raucous cries filling the air as they dove down to land gracefully on the grey sea.
A growing wind whipped my white sundress about my legs causing me to pull my cardigan closer about my shoulders. As I wrapped my arms about my chest, I felt the pressure on my breasts and thought how wonderful it would be when Andrew finally took me in his arms. Just a minute… Who the heck is Andrew and what is this? I’m a MAN! Things faded as a wave crashed into me and everything went white…
Colour bled into the white haze and resolved itself into a café. I was sat at the counter sipping a coffee when a man sat next to me. I couldn’t see his face but something felt so very very wrong. “I can give you what you want” a smooth voice offered, “you miss the thing you have lost and I can return it. All you have to do is a little favour for me and you can go home.” I shivered at the undertone in his voice, the unspoken threat if I did not do this favour. I opened my mouth to speak and realised he was gone. I never saw his face and had the impression that he could sound anyway he wanted.
Back on the beach, two sets of footprints… But just me walking in the surf. Water lapping and tickling my toes, when did I become ticklish… a man walking towards me. A chocolate brown Labrador playing in the surf getting her paws wet and delicately lifting them out of the water. I remembered having a Labrador, Tess who had the same mannerisms…. No! She died years ago…. Am I….am I… Dead?
“Hi, don’t mind Sal, she’s a gentle girl and likes her walks.” He was a slim, lightly built man with deep brown, almost black hair and brown eyes that had such a depth to them I found myself getting lost looking into their depths….
“Are you OK?”
“Wha….. Oh sorry, I got a bit lost in my thoughts” I blurted. What DID I think I was doing? I’ve never, ever reacted like this… is this a nightmare or am I going mad? Or am I really a girl?
“Sal likes you” he smiled warmly as I felt the nose of the dog nuzzle into my hand, “I’m walking her for a friend but the exercise does me good. Well got to be going, Sal’s starting to miss her breakfast.” With that, he strode off along the beach, humming a tune that I thought I knew but couldn’t quite remember. The sound of the waves embraced me again, they were sooo restful and the view faded…
I was back in the Café, sipping a coffee and wondering about what was going on as HE sat down next to me again…
“Have you considered my offer dear?”
“What offer and what do you want? Who are you?”
“A friend you did not know you have young lady…”
“What? You haven’t answered my questions and I’m certainly not going to just do something for somebody I’ve never met and what is it you are trying to get?”
“You’ll see and in answer to your question… yes, you will give me what I want and I will return that you have lost”…
I awoke covered in cold perspiration, my sheets and nightdress wrapped about my body and shaking with nerves. Lord I had not had a nightmare in years and now I find they are like buses. Nothing for ages and then loads all a once…
I lay back and tried to get some rest.
Marty begins to make sense of some feelings but there are hints of darkness... Still confused by what is happening she slowly begins to expand her world at the Hospital. Still no answers yet but when Martine learns more, she will make sure you know.
Coming soon... "Part 4 - Brave New World"
I shuddered with the feelings my new body had. Nightmares? I Never had them. What were these? Visions of future, warnings by my subconscious mind? Or had someone or something done this to me? Whatever… here I was and had to make the best of things. I saw Angela coming into the room, holding two cups of what I hoped would be tea.
“Hi Martine, I heard the noise and thought you may need to talk about it?” She gave that open, trusting smile I was starting to like about her. Lovely blonde hair and jade green eyes, I had always liked that eye colour. There was that lovely comforting aura of professionalism and something else. It felt as though she really cared about her patients. Come to think about it, I never seemed to meet another nurse but perhaps that was just the shift patterns.
“It’s just a little ginger and lemon tea, it always helps me when I’ve been a little stressed and looking at the sheets, I guess that you have had some interesting dreams.”
“Thanks Angela, tea will certainly help. I think I had some strange dreams but they’re fading now and, well things must have been a little not normal for me to end up here” I laughed at my own not very funny joke.
“No, things have been most unusual but you really are going to get better and back to being who you are.” She held my hand as she reassured me.
“I don’t know, all this seems pretty new to me Angela. I really don’t remember much before I woke up in here. I’ve seen my I/d and stuff but apparently I have a new job but cannot remember with who, I wonder who this new Boss is?.” I laughed a little, “Funny isn’t it, I must have a whole new life before me but all I can think of is getting home and not making too much of a mess of things. And I’m still worried about the Police, I mean I don’t think I did anything wrong but sometime I hope to remember more.”
“That’s entirely natural Martine,“ she pursed her lips as she considered her response, “The Police will interview you but only when Dr Bain lets them and I don’t think that will be for a few days. Right now you need to recover and get some of your memory and strength back and then we can look to set you loose into the big wide world.” She frowned a little then suddenly that smile came back and it was like the room lit up. “Oh I know what will cheer you up Martine, I’ve found you a lovely nightshirt that will be so much nicer than the issue ones. After breakfast I’ll pop round with it. Trust me, you’ll love it, it is so you”.
“Breakfast, oh I should have dealt with that before shouldn’t I?” Oh heck had I missed something?
“No it’s early enough to get a decent choice and with a figure like yours I don’t have you down as the Full English type. Me I look at the five piece special and put on two pounds” That lovely giggle and if she did suspect I was going to overlook quite a bit to share those smiles.
“OK you’ve caught me out.” I held my hands up and admitted sheepishly “I do like the occasional bacon sandwich but I’m a yoghurt and muesli bar person the rest of the time. Grab and go that’s me.” Well I used to eat at my desk, Marty nomates, get in early and grab a tea and biccies. Wonder what I’ll do in future? Oh well, that’s something I will discover later…
“Me too Martine. Look, after Dr Bain’s rounds would you like to take a turn into the garden? A bit of sunshine and fresh air will help your recovery and introduce you to the wider world in a nice slow controlled manner.”
Oh heck, I’d forgotten that I would re-enter the wider world at some point and people will be looking at me as a woman!
“Um OK, I must look a fright though Angela. Will it be OK?”
“Of course Martine, the weather is a little cold but it’s going to be a lovely sunny day. Just what you want for your debut to the world.”
DEBUT?!! She knows? What is going on?
I must have looked shocked as Angela clarified…
“Martine, you were shot. You survived and you have your whole life ahead of you. Think of it as though you had another chance at life. It could have gone so very wrong Martine. You could be somewhere else completely. That man who took the full force of those bullets gave something wonderful for someone he had never met.” She looked a little sad at the thought of the loss.
“Oh Angela, did you know him?” I asked quietly, I didn’t remember her….
“No, he was still young and the Trauma Team said all he asked about was were you OK and to tell his sister he loved her.”
Well I didn’t remember that but I did feel that way about Gail… Hey I went out a Hero, how about that? But that rather puts the mockers on a dream, or does it?
“He sounded pretty special, it’s a shame when somebody young has to die” I felt tears grow in my eyes. I was always liable to tears and just my luck, this body lets them go even easier… Still, keep schtum Marty, nobody is going to believe it. Can you imagine the Psych group? “Hello my name is Martine, I’m really a dead guy called Marty… Oh and aren’t these straitjackets sooo darling!” Best give that a miss. If this is a dream, play along and if I’m in a coma… well let’s see where we go.
“Hey, hey” she cooed gently, “There will always be a little Survivors Guilt and it is to your credit that you realise what a special gift he gave you.” She gently squeezed my fingers and stood up. “Got to go now Martine, breakfasts to make sure of and Dr Bain runs a tight ship when it comes to this unit. Catch you later OK?” With that she glided out of the room leaving me with my thoughts.
Oh crap Freud would have a field day with this one… If I’m dead surely I get the Pearly Gates and St Peter treatment? No, looks like I’m stuck between places and got the complimentary gender switch thrown in. Well play along and perhaps there’s a way back to my life…
Breakfast was the promised yoghurt and muesli special. Funny though, it did taste different, possibly better, than I remembered. I felt nervous at the idea of being out in public but like anything else in life, you just have to face things. There were a number of other nurses and assorted people cleaning, fetching and carrying. Odd, I didn’t remember noticing them before. Oh well, I did have an excuse for being a little self-centred and not paying too much attention to my surroundings or if it was a dream I suppose it was expanding. Still so far it’s not been too bad.
Dr Bain made his (their I was more and more sure that there were two of them, like Yin and Yang) rounds. I was poked and prodded but pronounced well enough to be allowed to visit the Atrium and Garden, under supervision. One other benefit was I was relieved (so to speak) to be allowed to use the Ladies Facilities rather than the bedpan I had suffered with up to then. Honestly, I almost begged to be back on those tubes the first time I tried using one. Talk about having different plumbing! Angela and another nurse, Bronwyn I think she was called were suitably supportive… NOT! By the time we had sorted everything out all of us were laughing so things worked out. Bronwyn was a lovely mature lady from Cardiff with such a dreamy welsh accent, raven black hair and an infectious laugh like water over stones in a mountain brook.
Both she and Angela shared duties in the Unit and the shifts were not quite the same as normal Hospitals so that accounted for Angela always appearing to be there. Bronwyn had moved up here after her parents died to be nearer the rest of her family.
“OK Martine, time for your first steps dear.” Bronwyn smiled warmly as Angela wheeled in a wheelchair.
“Don’t worry, you won’t be too great on your feet at first. You may feel a little wobbly but if you don’t make an effort you will be here much longer.” Angela encouraged as she held the chair about six feet from the bed. “And, of course, unless you wanted a repeat of your experience with the bed pan, the sooner the better eh?” Again with that smile but she had a point, there was NO way I was going to do that again.
OK here goes nothing, I swung to one side of the bed and let my new slender legs dangle toward the ground. Nice pretty toenails, still had their bright red polish on them. Must get a pedicure soon though…Now where did that come from? Taking a deep breath I stood up.
And promptly sat down again with an “Eeeek!”. That floor was COLD! Wriggling my toes I tried again, prepared for the shock only to have my balance thrown for a loop. I expected some balance issues from the new superstructure but thought it would be like wearing a buoyancy aid when I went canoeing. OK, wrong… brimming over with wrong actually. Looks like there are more issues than I thought. Hips definitely not my old set and much more mobile, breasts (best get used to those Marty) more, well wobbly. Hey until you’ve got your own you really don’t appreciate the balance issues. As for my BTM, well I thought it would bend light! Probably pretty trim but I felt a lot more padding than I was used to.
“It’s OK” Angela grinned, “you will be more sensitive to the lino than you were but next time, remember your slippers” she pointed to a plain pair of sandals that I hadn’t noticed when I first swung out. Typical male, I just swung out of bed and shambled about, must remember that I’m flying a new body and it isn’t the one I used to have. Now what else have I forgotten? Dressing gown, genius… With a sheepish grin I grab the offered gown and wrap it about me. Angela has an eyebrow arched and a look of gentle amusement. She MUST know by now, I am a total fraud and I’m soooo doomed.
“Ready?” Angela smiled. If she knew or suspected anything she was a very good actress.
“I think so, did I forget anything?” I asked quietly.
“No honey, you got there in the end. You’re not blonde are you?” she teased.
Wrapping a lock of hair about my fingers, I noted the raven colour of my hair and smiled back “Perhaps I dyed it?” and giggled at my own joke.
“OK, hang on, it’s not too far and you’ll really like the Atrium, the flowers are lovely” With that, she gave the wheelchair a push and we started out of the room and along the corridor…
”ƒ
Funny, I smelt the Atrium long before we arrived. Angela must have been a frustrated formula one driver as we sped along the corridors with me initially squealing with fright as we passed between porters, nurses and patients but gradually collapsing into gales of laughter at the sheer joy of our progress. The smell of flowers and orchids was heady and again I wondered at the changes I had undergone. Touch now sense of smell was sharper, I wondered what else I would encounter.
The Atrium was a wide glass covered enclosure filled with ornamental flower beds, even a tree right at the centre. No idea what sort, one of those ornamental pine types I normally thought as big bonsai trees. There were a number of patients sat in comfortable chairs and wheelchairs. Some wandering about talking with each other and the staff. I brought my hand to the side of my face as I brushed my hair away from my face.
“Angela, I must look a complete fright mustn’t I?”
“No dear, just relax, remember you are recovering from quite the trauma so wouldn’t be expected to have makeup etc on just yet” she reassured me as terror began to well in my heart.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw something that brought the growing feeling of terror to the surface. A woman, sat in a wheelchair, skin beginning to turn grey and rotten… I turned to look and she disappeared, the reflection was me! Looking a little pale and drawn but the look of surprise and horror brought a surprised “Eeek!” from me.
“What is it Martine? You look like you’ve seen a ghost dear.” Angela began to calm me down. “I know you’ve been a little self-conscious about your face but really you are fine and everything will turn out for the best. What brought this on dear? You can tell me, nobody will be unhappy with you.”
“I thought… I thought I saw something… horrible. I suppose you have been keeping me from a mirror, do I look a fright?” I stammered out a response as my mind went into full blown panic! I’m DEAD… I’m DEAD… I’m DEAD!
“Hey, hey it’s OK, you just had a little surprise that’s all. Dr Bain said you are OK but need to be introduced slowly into the world so these little panic attacks are to be expected and really they are nothing to worry about. Everything will be fine and things will work themselves out Martine.” Angela held my trembling hands as I started to calm down from the surprise.
Hang on, if I’m dead why the charade? Maybe this is just a test, I’m lying in Hospital and by getting better and ready for the real world I’m going to recover… Yes, go with that one Marty. Worry about the Martine part later if it’s all an illusion then go with it and get back to life. That’s it Marty, fight to go home, fight to get back to Gail… Mind you, you may have some explaining to do if you go back as Martine. Was that what the dream was about? I really didn’t like that whoever it was… and now I think on it, that “offer” could go two ways — I’ve lost my life and my gender. What have I gained? I’ve a new life haven’t I and what else?
Who was Martine? What happened when we collided? If I survived, what happened to her? If she took my place at the Pearly Gates I hoped she was at peace and with those who loved her.
I found myself smiling and drifting off surrounded by the delicate scents of the flowers…
Martine is interviewed by the Police. The "Shadowman" returns and Marty learns she has a mystery to solve...
There are still characters to introduce in subsequent parts but one question is answered rather emphatically. Do, please comment on the tale, I have plans for Martine and her world... But cannot hint about them just yet... Spoilers dear readers!
A few days of travelling between the Atrium and my room had become habit. To my intense relief I did not see that corpse again, perhaps it had been just panic and the shock of my new situation… Little did I know, I should have pulled the sheets over me and stayed there. Angela was still being the girl racer, I think she enjoyed the girlish “Eeeks!” she got out of me and to be honest I rather enjoyed it, like being on a fairground ride where you know it is safe but doesn’t feel that way.
Between them, Angela and Bronwyn helped me to find my feet and balance. I put it down to the trauma and if they thought otherwise, they kept quiet.
My inevitable meeting with Dr Bain eventually came about. The good Doctor was a dark haired man, some grey beginning to show came to my bedside quite unexpectedly. “Good morning Martine, how are you feeling today?”
“Well OK I suppose doctor but I still have trouble remembering much before I woke up here.” I admitted. Perhaps some honesty was the best policy although there was no way I was spilling everything.
“I see, I was concerned by your first tests but all of your indicators have settled down. Some memory loss is fairly common, a traumatic event is not something you really want to remember after all.” He gave an understanding smile at that. “Now, I notice that you have been out and about to the Atrium and have been getting back onto your feet. Would you just take a short walk across the room and back to the bed please.”
OK here goes nothing… “Sure Doctor, I was a little wobbly at first but I wasn’t expecting to be perfectly mobile at the start.” I swung myself to the edge of the bed and wrapping my gown about me, made sure my slippers were where I expected them to be. Taking a breath I stood up and felt the new bits jiggle into position… and walked confidently across the room. Smiling at the achievement, I realised that the new body wasn’t that bad. If I sort of “vegged out” an instinct took over and things seemed to fall into place. I found myself wondering if the real Martine had left a sort of “autopilot” to help me out. Who was she?
“That’s excellent Martine, I think you should walk a little more when you go to the Atrium. Angela will be happy to walk with you.” That cheered me up, I was enjoying my time with Angela even the times when she tried to channel Lewis Hamilton…
“OK, I have to get back on my feet sooner than later… Oh, sorry, pun not intended! So what injuries did I have Doctor?”
“You were very lucky young lady.” He pursed his lips, “the bullet missed anything vital. As I said earlier, it appeared that your brain was in complete shock as though it was being rewired. For a while we were more than a little concerned but all the scans appear to show you are a healthy young lady.”
“So hopefully no lasting damage eh?” I asked hopefully. Well apart from the new gender…
“It would appear that way, I think I can let the Police have their little chat with you now but you have nothing to worry about. It appears the shooter pleaded guilty and claimed it was a gangland “initiation” gone wrong.” He looked annoyed at the thought. “Oh I shouldn’t have told you that officially but you could have learned it from the newspapers I suppose.”
“Great, so he got away with it and that man’s death just gets logged. His family must be distraught. I think he saved me, did they know that?”
“Yes, they are mourning their loss and celebrating his life.” He looked a little sad. I suppose even Doctors are human after all. “Now it is still important to get rested. I know you want to be out and about partying or whatever you youngsters do but right now you need your rest Martine” He smiled, he actually smiled! Perhaps Dr Bain was human after all! “Now I’ll sit in with you when the Police come just to make sure they don’t overexert you, OK?”
“Sure, thanks Doctor” I stayed sat on the bedside chair and debated trying to walk to the Atrium.
A brief sweep on the Internet showed a few entries on news sites reporting the “accidental death” of Martin Harrison. Shot in a gangland initiation/attempted robbery, minor details of the perp and just vague mentions of an innocent second party surviving the shooting. You’re dead Honey… What… where did that thought come from? I felt tired and the world faded away…
I was sat in a café, cup of tea in front of me, debating whether to chance the calories in a chocolate cookie when I felt a presence next to me. I couldn’t move, just sit frozen in place…
“So now you know child, you are in MY world now… I can help you recover the life you lost. All you have to do is perform a little service for me and mine young lady.”
My skin seemed to crawl and I could not speak a word…
“You WILL do my bidding, I can reach you and you really don’t want to cross me girl”
With that, he was gone and I was back awake in my room.
“Hi Martine, had a bad dream again?” Angela came in as I adjusted my robe to fit better.
“I think so, just natural shock at things I suppose. I can’t let my dreams dictate my life after all.”
“Well sometimes dreams are your sub-conscious mind trying to tell you something.” She made a little frown then brightened up “of course sometimes, a dream is just a dream”.
“Yes, just nerves I suppose. You know the Police are interviewing me about the shooting and I really don’t remember much at all.”
“Don’t worry Martine, Dr Bain will be there and take care of everything so you really don’t need to worry.”
Well I was worrying. I felt as though I was beginning to remember… Who are we? I was Marty Harrison but I am starting to remember or think about being Martine more and more. Did we swap bodies and souls? Did she leave an instruction manual? More to the point, this “Shadowman” knows I was Marty and clearly has plots of his own and I don’t think they are nice ones. Looks like the Bogeyman has arrived.
The Police Officer came in with Dr Bain escorting him. A rather average build, short grey hair, blue eyes, “Miss Edwards, I’m DI Hardacre I was part of the team assigned to the shooting of Martin Harrison. Now, I’ve no doubt you are aware of the fact that he pled guilty to a manslaughter charge so really all we have to do is run through anything you may remember just to complete the file.” He took out a notebook and pen and sat at the foot of the bed allowing Dr Bain to sit next to me. Funny, I found Dr Bain’s presence actually comforting. Perhaps he was growing on me, whatever.
“Mr Hardacre, I’m afraid Miss Edwards is still rather weak from her trauma and her memory is not entirely clear”
“Not to worry, being shot, even by accident is going to leave gaps around the event..” He replied, “So Miss Edwards, please tell me what you recall of the event.”
Well, of course I really didn’t recall much, the Officer didn’t seem too disappointed at this. In fact it probably allowed the case to be closed without inconvenient questions. I remembered bumping into him, seeing a man holding a gun out. The shooter was the man the Officer showed me but I got a distinct feeling that the shooter was a patsy and somebody else was pulling the strings. Where did that come from?
The meeting ended with Dr Bain escorting DI Hardacre out of the room while thoughts tumbled through my mind. Not memories in that I didn’t see people but places. I knew where I lived, a fairly new apartment where I had a reasonable set of rooms in a fairly nice part of town. But how did I remember and where did I get the images from?
“Martine, you look like you’ve seen a ghost! Surely it wasn’t that bad?” Angela came in looking concerned.
“No it was all pretty straightforward, perhaps we have time for a coffee and a chinwag over in the Atrium?” I asked hopefully.
“Now I know you’re getting better.” That lovely smile lit up her face, “Throw in the coffee and it’s a deal girl.”
This time I tried to walk there. Big mistake! I thought I could make it all the way but this new body was still one I was getting used to. I was able to walk a while but the hips and chest still threw me a little and I was rather weak. Eventually I had to accept the ride in the wheelchair.
“No problem Martine, of course you are a little weak but you are determined to get better and that is all to the good.” Angela reassured the trembling me before reverting to type and haring off along the corridors to the WVS Café. It was no Starbucks or the like but those women were truly angels to give their time and the coffee was a reminder of home and normality.
Grabbing our drinks we made our way back to our little corner of the Atrium. A small place where we could watch all the goings on and it really caught the sun and felt so heavenly. Sat in our seats we chatted idly about this and that. Discussed the outside world and how I really didn’t feel ready to face it.
“Why not? You’re making an excellent recovery, Dr Bain is pleased with your progress and although I shouldn’t let it slip, I think you may be released as an out-patient in a few days. You’ll still have to come back for check ups, that strange scan Dr Bain found is odd. Almost as though there are two of you.” Angela finally concluded.
I didn’t catch all of it as I had faded out into…
It was as though the world had just faded out and there were just the two of us in the room…
I looked not at Angela but at ME! A little worse for wear, well a dead one of me and skin was grey and beginning to go bad.
“Marty, I know some of what happened to you but there are rules about these things.” The creature said.
“WHAT ARE YOU! Keep away from me!” I cried in shock and horror but found I could not move!
“Marty, it’s OK, calm down.” The thing in my body spoke slowly.
“Calm down! What do you mean calm down! I’m really dead and this is just a nightmare” I screamed.
“No, your body died but YOU have been given an opportunity few are offered” The corpse slurred.
“But I’m dead!”
“No, only the body. Your spirit was inadvertently swapped and you have another life to live. I am not allowed to give you more information but you have been threatened more than once and THAT is why you can still see me. Sorry about the appearance but I only get to work with what I’ve got.”
“No way. This cannot be real” I felt a little calmer… Odd but unlike the Shadowman I felt no real threat just confusion.
“Martine Edwards, THAT is your name and the life you now have. I’ve left you the skills you need to live in the world but all the decisions will be yours. Live a good life Martine. Live for us both.”
“There’s something else isn’t there?” Strange I was questioning a corpse me and thought nothing odd.
“I’m afraid so. Martine you are on the clock so to speak. You have only until I’ve gone to solve your, well our, murder and I’m not getting to look better. Know that I will never hurt you but I cannot do much more than I have.”
“Then what?” I asked feeling the confusion rise. “I still die?”
“Remember that Macaulay poem you enjoyed? To every man upon this earth death cometh soon or late…” The dead Marty reminded me.
THAT went a long way to convincing me! I loved that poem. If I were dead it looked like I was Martine now! But the killer was already convicted… No, who gave the order and why, that was the thing. The holder of the gun may face justice but somebody is pulling the strings.
“Have to go now Martine, stay safe” the corpse me gave a sort of smile…
Not too good that, but then I remembered a D&D phrase…
REVENANT, a spirit taken too soon and returned to visit justice on their killers… I suppose that accounted for the appearance of my old body, at least in dream form.
Now I had a task to complete but how would I go about it?
Blinking, I looked into Angela’s eyes… “Sorry, I must have let the walk tire me out too much. I didn’t drool did I?”
“No, you looked so peaceful and the light is back in your eyes.” Angela pursed her lips, “I think your memory is coming back a little?”
“Some of it I think, I remember the apartment. Perhaps you could visit? I suppose there is some Hospital rule about that sort of thing.”
“Well more of a guideline but as an outpatient I can make the occasional visit to assess how you are getting on.”
“That seems strange, I’m sorry Angela, I didn’t think that sort of thing was allowed.” I looked confused.
“No, but I think we are becoming friends too. This hospital and Dr Bain operates slightly differently and frankly I rather like it.” Angela reassured me.
Curious, I suppose different hospitals worked in different ways. But I didn’t think I would complain. Angela was a woman I felt safe with and already I trusted her implicitly. Dr Bain, well HE simply was one of those anomalies in life you learn to work around but beneath all of that he was a good doctor.
“I think I may be ready for the world soon Angela. I wonder, is it ready for me?” I giggled. I still had to face the rest of the world and those things girls take for granted but I had a task, a mystery to solve and a new life to live…
“Time to get back to my room I think, I’ll try and walk a little then place myself in your hands for the drive back!” I looked into her eyes as I saw them light up at the thought that I was willingly placing my life in the hands of this frustrated racing driver. I thought when I recover, I’ll buy her a Scalextric set instead of chocolate and flowers!
Martine continues her recovery and goes home. She discovers more about who she is and her life.
I had become used to the Hospital by now, time was beginning to drag and of course I had a mystery to solve. Why kill me? I mean I was professionally boring, not involved in anything and yet here I was. Haunted by myself and in a new body.
“Hi Martine,” Angela’s sunny voice pulled me out of my reverie, “I think you are ready to get cleaned up a little.” She delicately wrinkled her nose…
“What? I had a good wash this morning and with you and Bron introducing me to the torture of a blanket bath…” I let a grin out, I knew she was joking. “Come on Angela, spill.”
“OK, you got me” she gestured, raising her hand to her forehead in that oh-so-dramatic ham actress pose. “No, I came to see if you fancied using the Bath. I think a nice soak will do you good and you will find it intensely relaxing dear.”
“You know I may give in to the temptation to enjoy that. It sounds fun and I wonder if there is some way I can get my nails looked at?”
“A makeover?” she smiled, “We DO have a beautician here for the patients, especially longer term ones find a little beauty treatment helps them feel better and I think they actually get better quicker than just lying in bed.” She looked pointedly at me.
“Ooops, I suppose I have let myself veg out a little. You are a harsh taskmistress you know” I tried to look annoyed but the giggles set in. There was no way I could get angry and Angela was right, I was starting to just lie in bed or sit watching daytime TV.
The trip to the beautician was an eye opener in many ways. Angela demanded that she escort me (read drive like a maniac pushing me through the corridors) to the beautician’s den. Now up until now I had never been in such a place, I remembered looking in once and seeing a woman have her hair wrapped in foil and realised there was a good chance I was about to find out exactly why this was. In the past, I was a cheap and cheerful haircut sort of chap, get in, get trimmed and get out. NOTHING prepared me for the experience I was about to have.
“Hi, this is Martine, can I leave you to perform your magic Margie?” Angela asked a rather young woman who clearly was waiting for me.
“Sure Angie, I’ve got her record here” she pursed her lips and looked straight at me. “So you’re the one! Well you are in safe hands now dear and I will make you look like a million dollars” a broad grin flashed across her face as Angela left us.
The salon was fairly small, I supposed there was little need for anything larger and she probably did a round of other wards. As I said, I had not really been in such places and Margie guided me to a chair in front of a sink and mirrors. My instincts were shouting to get a fast style and get back but something calmed me and I began to relax into the chair as Margie looked at my hair, lips pursed in thought.
“So Martine, any ideas as to the style you would like?”
“I don’t feel too adventurous at the moment, could you just tidy it up please?”
“Sure, it’s not too bad and you have great hair. You could use a number of styles but you are right. After all you’ve been through it is nice to stay in the familiar. I bet you like to cut loose occasionally. Tell you what, I’ll wash and put a nice gentle style in for you.”
“Um, OK that sounds good I think” I must have sounded really trite.
“Not to worry, you are in capable hands Martine. Now just sit back and relax.” With that, Margie started washing my hair.
All my experiences before had not prepared me for the sheer sensual nature of the process of having my hair done. I began to understand why women enjoyed these experiences. The simple pleasure brought a smile to my face… Try a Spa sometime… WHAT! Where did that come from, I thought my dream visitor was just that.
“Sorry we can’t let you loose on the makeup Martine but you understand about infection and things.” She looked deeply at me obviously planning something. “When you leave, promise you’ll stop by and I’ll throw in the makeover. You know, give you the glam look. What do you say?”
“S…sure, I don’t know when I’ll be allowed home. I suppose Dr Bain will the judge of that but it’s a date.” I wondered when that would be and what was it with the girly thoughts? I caught a look at that other me in the corner of my eye. Not exactly healthy but I could see changes beginning. I had to start work soon…
Dr Bain continued his procession about my room looking quite stern. Uh oh I thought.
“Martine, it is time you were out and about rather more. I have your reports that you can walk reasonably well but you will be spending time in physio to get the rest of you working. I am very pleased with your progress and I think we can look to get you home in about a week. You will remain an outpatient and I will want you to visit the unit at least twice a week.”
“Really? That’s great, I mean it isn’t that I am ungrateful, quite the opposite but I have to get out in the wide world sometime. I think I have a job but really don’t remember much, is that silly?” I really wanted to get home and discover the reality of my new life.
“And you need to hurry, time is flying Martine” again I heard that voice, rather croaking but I was sure it was somehow mine.
“Yes Martine, time to prepare you for the big bad world. You are a most interesting patient and I am sure you will soon get the hang of things again.” A gentle smile and Dr Bain left on his rounds.
“So, fancy a coffee and a walk Martine?” Angela appeared almost at the moment Dr Bain left a huge smile playing on her lips. I wondered what devious plan she was hatching now.
“Sure, I think I would like to walk there Angela. I’m getting stronger and that trip to the salon was simply lovely. Come on girl, do you like the new hairdo?” WHAT! Where did that come from? I realised I was adapting to my new body although Hospital was OK for getting better I hadn’t really taken a good look at myself. “Just give me a tick and I’ll get ready OK?”
“Sure, Dr Bain was impressed with the recovery and you are really driven to get back out there. Just don’t overdo things, promise?”
“Sure, I’m not so foolish as to force things and then overextend and end up back where I started. I know I’ll have some serious cleaning to do when I get home but Margie promised a makeover before I leave and I’m looking forward to that. Somehow I feel as though something is missing without a little warpaint, you know?”
“Sure, these places aren’t exactly the most glamorous of places but we all feel, well more girly with a little glamour. Makeup is frowned upon because of the risk of infection and things.”
With that, we walked out into the corridor. I had to look along the corridor, the décor was that institutional type where they build by the mile and cut off as required. The colours were not really welcoming, I supposed that was the idea. The décor was so awful you wanted to get better to escape back into the outside world.
Walking down toward the Atrium, I felt something like somebody walking across my grave…
“Well, nearly ready to leave are we? You will work for ME! You may try to resist but there are ways of persuading you to do so. I can grant your dearest wish and restore what you lost if you work willingly or...”
“Are you OK?” Angela asked. She must have seen something, a shiver I suppose.
“Sure, just getting a bit stir crazy you know?” I tried to deflect the conversation. After all here I am a girl having crazy thoughts walking to get a coffee.
“Well you are going home soon but we can stay in touch if you like? I think I’ll be allowed to stay on your case but sometimes you need a friend for a good chinwag too.”
“Yes, I hope so. I don’t think I had much of a social life and somehow it’s like I’ve moved into a new place and don’t know anybody yet.” You don’t know the half of it or do you? I wondered, Angela was a lovely woman and I really thought of her as a friend but did she somehow spot something? Probably that “feminine intuition” I supposed. Wonder if I’ll get something like that?
Coffees in hand Angela and I made our way to the Atrium. Unlike previous visits it was raining outside, the rain washing down the windows but somehow brightening the leaves. The clouds parted in the distance and with a golden glow the sun came back out. A double rainbow appearing bright against the still dark clouds further away. I found myself smiling at the sight, as Marty I had always liked rainbows and … just a minute, I AM Marty what’s with the femininity? Was I sharing something of the other Martine? She did say she left her skills, I wonder if I’ve become something a little more? Feminine traits but my other skills, hmmm that could be it. Wonder where I work.
“Penny?” asked Angela, jerking me out of my daydream.
“Hmm sorry?”
“Penny for your thoughts silly”
“Oh I was just thinking about home and things, just drifting I suppose.”
“That’s probably just nerves Martine,. You’ve been through a lot and the time you’ve been in here has all kept you rather isolated from the outside world. You’ll take to the outside like a duck to water you’ll see Martine.”
“And I have at least one friend to help me yes?” I smiled.
“Sure, you and me against the world. You know I’ll be there when needed hun.”
Somehow that thought made me feel better.
“Now Martine, let’s take a look at you” Dr Bain smiled warmly.
Not surprising as I was certain to be allowed home now I had been here for what seemed like forever.
“Well injuries all healed and the physio went well. I will be wanting you to attend Outpatients Clinic, Angela will remain your carer. You and she seem to have hit it off but that’s to be expected, she will be about later to give you your appointment times. So tomorrow morning you can go home for a while.”
“That’s great! I mean, sorry, that must sound so rude like I don’t value your care and I do Dr Bain, thank you” It actually felt good to be getting home. Wait a minute, how do I get home?
“Dr Bain, this may seem a dumb question but how do I get home? I mean I don’t actually know where I am now if you see what I mean. The Police had my car so surely they’ll still have it?”
“Oh of course, I see Martine. We can arrange transport home and Angela can liaise with you and the Police to get your car back. I’m going to advise you to stay off work for a few days and then work part-time as you recover. It may sound harsh not letting you have longer off work but as you know, the devil finds work…” He gave a warm smile and I swear his eyes twinkled a little. I am getting SO girly!
The day was a whirl of activity, I could barely contain my excitement. Home, you are sooo goin’ to love it… Great now I had a passenger too. Fortunately I did not have much to pack and spent a while in the Atrium thinking about what was to come. I knew my name well “Duh” WHAT! But I still had no idea about what it was I did other than it was a new job apparently. Hey, if I go with the flow and keep my eyes and ears open I should be fine. But that Shadow was out there and whatever it wanted I was not going to do.
“Hey girl! The Escape Committee want a word” Angela giggled in my ear.
“Escape Committee?”
“Well we were hoping you didn’t need to start digging a tunnel”
Catching on and remembering some films I smiled, “Don’t tell me they found the glider I was building on the roof!”
“Nope but the tunnel was sooo busted when we realised your new hobby was taking your wall out into the Atrium one handful at a time”
“My name is Martine Edwards not Andy DuFresne” I laughed. Well sue me I loved that film. Enjoying the warmth of the meeting, Angela and I drank our coffees and enjoyed each other’s company.
“Nice, now I’ve spoken to Margie and we’ve arranged for your makeover before you leave for home. I know Margie is waiting to give you the works.”
The next morning, Angela and I made our way to Margie’s den of magic. A growing feeling of unease that I put down to “getting out of here” blues but also somehow I was going to be entering the unknown.
“Hi Martine, ready for the works?” Margie put a little sunshine into my growing unease.
“Uh, yes I suppose so, I’m just nervous about getting back into the outside world I suppose.” I replied letting my unease show.
“Hey that’s only natural, you’ve been here a few weeks now so let’s glam you up for your big debut!” She gestured grandly at the waiting salon chair.
Feeling like I was heading for an execution as guest of honour I made my way to the chair and gingerly sat down. Hey calm down, you’ve done this before. Sit back and enjoy the ride, trust me this is going to feel heavenly. Again that inner voice, but I was coming to trust her.
“So Martine, make yourself comfortable and I’ll work my magic. You’ll be wanting a stick to beat off the men. Oh, got one already?” Margie started chatting as she got to work.
I hadn’t even thought of that I realised. I mean here I was one time Marty and definitely male and by some means I was probably never going to realise I was now definitely female. Well I supposed I was not a candidate for a Convent but these were thoughts for “File away and hope I lose the filing cabinet”.
“No, I don’t think so. I’m new around here and have a new job to start. I suppose it’ll work out in the end” please, please drop this Margie I thought.
“Sure, a pretty young woman like you I think you will have no problems outside. I know you are smart enough to do well and I hear Angela will still be seeing you while you are an out-patient?”
“Yes, she’s been such a rock. Supporting me through my recovery and I hope we can stay friends.”
“I agree, you and Angela are becoming friends. Now sit back and I can start work on your nails while your hair sets.” Margie got to work on my nails, dipping them in a bowl of coloured liquid. It looked strange but felt absolutely wonderful.
It was strange, something that was so very ordinary, after all I had seen women get manicures and things before, but the actual feelings during the process… Well they were really hard to describe, this was a first for me as a man I never really thought of such things but this I could get used to perhaps a treat each month…
Told you… Oh wonderful why did I get the feeling that at some point my co-pilot would expect some “me time” of their own. Ohh that sounds nice, thanks…
I began to drift a little with the pleasure but was abruptly brought back by the sight that I caught in the corner of my eye. ME! My old body rotting, sat in the chair! Not too bad yet but I remembered that comment about “Being under the clock”. I wondered how long I had. Well time enough I suppose.
“Martine! Wakey wakey hun!”
“Huh?”
“You don’t want to sleep through this Martine. It’s way too important for a girl to miss you know.”
“Oh, sorry. It was just such a wonderful feeling I couldn’t help myself but yes, you’re right I shouldn’t miss this Margie” and it was a lovely feeling. I could definitely get used to this.
“Now Martine, have you considered colours?”
“Colours?” I asked blankly.
“Your nail polish colour silly! This dusty pink will look good. Not too girly but it really suits your complexion and those fingers are really lovely I bet you could play a mean piano.”
“Thanks but I don’t remember any instruments but I bet I could play a triangle” I giggled.
“Hey keep still, I don’t want to smear your polish.”
“Yes Mother...”
“Cheeky” Margie smiled back, “now I’m going to work on your face so pay attention while I work and I’ll give you some pointers.”
That seemed a good idea, I was a woman now so had best pay attention to things. Makeup was one of those I could practice at home but mistakes would stick out like a sore thumb. Margie worked steadily explaining each step as she worked her magic. Over the next few minutes Margie revealed my new face. I had to admit that I had made a point of avoiding looking at my face in the mirror but I liked what I saw. Margie finished her magic and I looked up to see Angela waiting for me.
“Hey girl, lookin’ good. Ready for the great escape?”
“Sure, you were right, Margie does brilliant work. I never thought I could look like this.” Well that was true in both senses of the word. “Thanks Margie, I really owe you for this.”
“No problem Martine, it was my pleasure. Here’s my card, you know I do visits too?”
“Really? Brilliant! Thanks Margie. Hope to see you again sometime.” I stood and walked over to Angela.
“Ready? Dr Bain has handled all the paperwork and I’ve got you cards with your appointments on them. Don’t forget to keep up with the exercises too.”
“Sure Angela, do I need anything else or are we good to go?”
“All packed up, I’ll drive you home and make sure you are settled OK?”
“Yes, thanks. This is just another step on the road isn’t it.”
“That’s right, so let’s get you home and set up.” Angela walked me out to the Staff Car Park where her car was waiting. An unremarkable Volvo.
“Angela, I expected to see a sports car after the way you drove that wheelchair” I laughed.
“No, I can cut loose a bit on the corridors but good and reliable has its advantages Martine. Also it makes shopping trips easier, more room for the goodies eh?”
“Oh yes, I see. No good shopping without anywhere to put it!” With that I got into Angela’s car and we set off for home. Wherever that was…
A shortish drive, maybe 20 minutes saw us pull into the car park for a large Apartment Complex.
“Here we are Martine, your new home.”
“What do you mean new?” I asked confused, did Angela really suspect something.
“Well you were moving here for your new job and apparently had arranged a new home too and this is it!”
“Oh sorry I’m being dense. Does that mean there was some documentation about me?”
“Not much, the Police enquiry revealed the new home. In the car there was a small case with your new address. Looks like you moved in a day or two before… well, you know. Shall we take a look?”
We got out and walked into the entrance hallway. It looked fairly new, fake marble floor and airy glass covered roof keeping it light.
“Apartment 16, a penthouse! You must have been on a decent salary to pay for it.” Angela looked impressed. “Come on, there’s a lift over here.”
The apartments had four floors, each with four apartments. Mine on the top floor, facing south to catch the sun.
“OK here we go” as Angela handed me a keyring. “Over to you Martine, time to see your home.”
I took the keys with trembling fingers. Why was I so nervous? “OK here goes nothing, knowing my luck there’s no furniture and all my clothes are gone.”
Opening the door revealed a short hallway with three doors. The one at the end opened into the main room. A wide room with the south wall almost all glass and I could see balcony outside. Venetian blinds covered the windows for privacy although they were currently drawn up. The Kitchen and Bathroom were our next discoveries both quite modern and already furnished. Two Bedrooms and a Boxroom converted into an Office completed our short examination of the Apartment.
“Looks nice Martine. I think the best thing is for me to leave you this afternoon and if I could visit this evening say around 7pm?”
“Yes I’d love you to call. But would it be professional or personal I wonder?”
“You got me! A bit of both really Martine. It’s always difficult for people in your situation to get back on their feet so our policy is to include a little additional care.”
“Sorry my situation?” Did she suspect?
“In most cases, you would have friends and family to help but you are new here you just need a little support.”
“Oh I see. That’s great, see you at 7. Can I offer a meal?” I could always do “Chicken Ping*” in an emergency.
“That would be kind of you Martine. Thanks yes, I will take you up on the offer.” Angela answered, turning to leave, “Oh, don’t forget to read your treatment notes.”
“Sure Angela, will there be a test?” I smiled back, “See you at seven”
So, four apartments per floor and this place must be costing me a bit. Where would I find more info? Oh yes, Office…
The Office had a largish desk with two computers, a laptop and a desktop system under the desk. Next to the PC, a small metal filing tray, three wire trays all empty, no other papers at all. Other than the usual office supplies there was nothing to indicate anything. Then the obvious solution, check my e-mails, if the PC were mine the e-mail account is already set up but the passwords? Turning the PC on I thought veg out it worked last time and my delicate fingers danced across the keyboard… System on… E-mail account open… Yay!
The usual collection of spam, offering me cures to things I did not even know I had, assorted e-bay sellers, bank updates and… there! Yes! An e-mail from my new employers about my starting date, clicking on it I started to read.
An appointment to HM Customs and Excise as a Field Officer here in town. The address seemed familiar somehow but I could not put my finger on it. Still cross that when I get to it.
There was a pile of post to deal with too, some was simply junk and I dropped it into the recycling bin. Others I sorted into three piles, magazines, finance and other. The magazine pile contained the usual selection of journals, Cosmo etc. Finance was the usual selection of loan and credit card offers, I tore them up and added them to the recycling bin. The last proved interesting although not especially revealing. A copy of my letter of appointment and a “Get Well” card signed Clarice Adams and with the message that she was looking forward to me joining her team. At the base was a mobile number and I resolved to call tomorrow. I did wonder why she had not sent it to the Hospital but I sometimes did the same before.
Grabbing a cup of tea I decided to give myself a treat… I had been thinking about this for a while. A bubble bath! Go girl! That thought again, I really thought perhaps the original Martine was hanging about to enjoy the ride. Whatever… I went and ran a bath and gave thought to what to cook for Angela tonight…
* “Chicken Ping” is a traditional fast food… Place in microwave and “PING!” it’s done.
Apologies for the delay, my muse was being difficult. Demands for Tea and Crumpet etc. in exchange for continuing to write. (Edited to fix the italics... Muse... I want a word with you...)
Hugs, Sunwolf
Marty tries shopping and has a little girly fun at a "Shadow's" expense...
Not quite the tale I intended but ran onto a major block. Thank you to all of those who have supported and helped me. More will come and we will meet more of the protagonists soon.
Well a feminine bubble bath was quite an experience. It was not like the baths and showers I had before, it was somehow more sensual (and I don’t mean like that!) I came out of the bath and gently patted myself down. My experience with the dreaded bed bath had permanently cured me of wanting to rub myself down with the towel. Giving the bath a quick rinse, I wrapped myself in a soft towelling gown and walked barefoot into my bedroom.
Looking through the wardrobes, I wondered about the spirit that had occupied this body before I ended up here. Fashion was something that happened to other people but I had a crash course in being a girl to get through. Most of the clothes were fairly new, I got the impression that I had moved here recently (duh) and updated my wardrobe with some newer, nicer clothes. Oh heck, I hoped the shoes weren’t too new, I needed a little practice in heels… Well who’s going to know if I try here? Obvious when I thought about it. Selecting a plain white ensemble for my lingerie, I added a white cotton dress and low 2” heels. Add a cardigan and I’m good to go!
Go where? Oh gosh, I forgot about food! Scurrying into the kitchen I found tins and jars galore but nothing fresh. Shopping, hmm… The old male me made the obvious save — Internet shopping doofus! By diligent use of the Internet and a local delivery service I ordered fresh bread, veg and some meat for tonight’s meal. I knew that I had to get out and about eventually, report to work and just visit the big bad world in general.
That little task out of the way, I headed to the documents I had on the laptop. There were a few notes about the new job and I began to get some background about my new role. Not case notes of course but the job description was rather more than just paper shuffling. Compared to the old Marty, it looked like this may be interesting. The office was in the centre of town, not too far from the University and shopping centres so it looked like I did not need to drive at first just use the tram or bus.
The shopping turned up later in the afternoon, a middle aged delivery man bringing a small plastic box filled with assorted goodies. He gave me a bit of a “once over” but nothing that weirded me out, strange I didn’t even feel uncomfortable at the sight of him. Signing for the delivery, I emptied the box and placed the meat in the fridge, vegetables in the rack. I decided on a simple Bolognese for tonight’s meal, nothing too difficult but simple enough to be satisfying. I found a nice Italian red in the wine rack so the option was there if the moment felt right. I was determined to be a good hostess, Angela deserved that at least for all the care she had shown me while I was stuck in the Hospital.
Seven thirty and the doorbell chimed! Checking the fisheye on the door, I was Angela waiting and quickly flung it wide.
“Angela! Hi please come in and make yourself at home”
“Sure Hun, how’s your first day outside been?”
“Well I’ve just used the Internet and the balcony so far. I know I’ve got to get out and active again. I thought go for a walk about town tomorrow, just to get back into the swing of things. Then report to work and update them with Dr Bains advice about getting back to work.”
“Oh yes, I’ve brought you your letter. You know you should work part time for a few weeks on limited hours. You still have to report to Outpatients for assessment but retail therapy counts too Martine.”
“Sure, oh I’m forgetting my manners! Can I offer you a drink Angela?”
“Thanks, coffee will be fine. I’ve driven over so I’ll lay off the alcohol for tonight.”
“No problem, please take a seat and I’ll be right back.”
While the pasta and sauce finished, Angela and I talked about all manner of things like the friends I hoped we were becoming. Angela had moved up here last year to be nearer her family after her father had become ill. She had been a nurse for a number of years entering the profession straight from college. Given her nature, I felt it was a true calling and for her to do anything else would have been a tragedy.
The meal was OK, I thought I needed more practice although Angela was nice enough to complement me for my efforts. She told me that my car would be available on the Friday and I just needed to take my I/d and paperwork. I worried about the expense, remembering horror stories about £100 per day storage fees but that was for vehicles that were impounded and not witness/victim’s property so I had little to worry about on that score.
We took in a movie, a romantic comedy, rather a change from my normal viewing but I suppose things change don’t they. It appeared I shared some taste with Martine, the DVD rack had several films that I enjoyed too. “You’ve got Mail”, “Bicentennial Man” and “Stardust”, hey any film with Robert DeNiro in a dress has something going for it! Both of us curled up on the sofa, giggling softly at the movie I found myself becoming more and more comfortable with my new shape and gender.
Of course, I had to provide a short fashion show for Angela. Going through the wardrobe I modelled a variety of outfits with Angela offering advice and on occasion my inner voice offering gentle observations. Funny though, I actually enjoyed myself, giggling with Angela at the outfits, striking those ridiculous model poses and twirling round and round watching my skirts and dresses billow out.
With a hug, the end of the evening came all too soon. Angela helping me to put the outfits back into the wardrobe.
“So had a nice girly evening Martine?”
Giggling, “Yes, I’ve never had a night like it but it was soo fun. Thanks for coming over Angela. If that is my recommended treatment I may need a few more doses though!” giving her another hug when did I become more tactile? Not that I’m complaining though…
After Angela left, I cleared the rest of the plates and stuff. Well read “put in the dishwasher” but I was houseproud enough to want to keep the place tidy. Popped a fresh nightie on and cleaned the small amount of makeup off my face. Funny I didn’t remember putting it on but must have done a decent job as Angela didn’t comment.
The following morning I awoke feeling oddly nervous, today was the first day I was really flying solo. Dr Bain’s advice to take things easy at first was on my mind but so was the image of that corpse me reminding me that time was limited. A quick shower and dressed, remembered enough to keep my hair dry while showering and patting myself rather than rubbing with the towel. Still things would be different, the shower was OK but really wasn’t as sensual as the bath I took. You’re learning hun, shower for quick cleans you know… Great my spectral co-pilot was still here I thought but wasn’t too annoyed. She had offered to give me the skills to survive and these were like echoes of a memory giving me the skills to keep going.
Shopping trip I suppose, yes, go window shopping and get the lie of the land. I decided not to drive but take the tram into town. I’d noticed a tram stop a short walk from the flat that would go straight into town and save me from investing (read part purchase the real estate — parking fees are not exactly “reasonable”) in a parking space. The weather was fairly reasonable so I just slipped into a basic outfit, navy skirt, white blouse, tan tights, low navy heels (Like I’m going to wear high heels for shopping, I may be new to this but I’m not a complete idiot) cardigan and jacket. Handbag… Oh joy, I’m haunted by the Fashion Police… OK I get it. Handbag, nice black number with a shoulder strap. Checking inside my heart fell at the sight of the two white packages nestling in the bottom, some lippy and blusher. Hun that day will hit you soon, don’t worry you’ll get used to it dear.
Well at least I wasn’t alone I thought with a smile as I set off on my first shopping trip as a girl. Waiting at the tram stop I started to think I knew how Iraqi fighters felt during the Gulf War with every eye upon them. Calm down, you had no problem at the hospital and apart from looking like any other woman what else was there to see. Now where to look first? Hmmm what sort of look was I aiming at… professional I think, must make the right impression when I do go to work. Wonder what it is I actually do? Probably a member of the “Swivel Chair Hussars” knowing my luck, dodging incoming emails and making the tea.
Giving the more “Teeny and Twenty” places a miss, fashion was something that happened to other people I found a number of nice outlets. I tended to pale cream colours although deep blues looked really hot on me. Yes, I did the “makeover” thing at one of the classier department stores and yes, it was fun. Having somebody else go to work on your face and try a nice new look was actually quite enjoyable. I could see why these things were so popular but resolved to only do it occasionally.
The oddest feeling came when I was just walking between stores, looking at the windows and wondering how some of the outfits would look on yours truly. A feeling of being watched, yes I know that all women have that feeling occasionally like “does this outfit make me look too large/trampy/etc” and I was sure that women compared for want of a better term but this was somehow different as though somebody was actively watching what I did. Paranoia? Well when somebody has tried to kill you I think it is more of a survival instinct but I resolved to continue the shopping trip but to be a little more observant of the people about me.
Giving the credit card a gentle work out I made my way out with a new outfit consisting of skirt, jacket and blouse, size… quite slim but not stick thin… look a lady does not discuss her sizes any more than her age. Sorry!
But somebody caught my eye, the way they tried to blend in actually made them stand out. The strange thing was it was as though they were stood in shadow but the light seemed to avoid them as if it didn’t want to even touch them… A youngish man, early to mid-twenties, slightly built and plainly dressed . His eyes all but glanced off me and frankly I felt his glance and it did not feel like a man looking at an attractive woman rather than one leering and at ME. I decided to test this and stopped at a café to take a coffee and snack, I knew as a woman my appetite was smaller than before and my very rare junk food urges would become rarer, unless I wanted to become Martine the human blimp, a cappuccino and a small salad would be more than enough. Sitting with my back to the wall and with a clear view of the rest of the café I settled down to my snack and waited…
As I expected, my shadow appeared. Now what are you going to do son, there’s nowhere to sit to observe me that will not make it crystal clear that that is what you are trying. Wait outside and you may as well carry a billboard with you… I sat back sipping my drink and savoured the look of confusion on his face. Not so much fun when the game changes and you are the one being watched is it? He looked about with an almost haunted expression on his face and took a table with his back to me. If he wasn’t looking for me then I have a twin he must fancy enormously, he actually kept looking around! Come on son, there’s a plate glass window in front of you, use the reflection to watch but instead now I know it is me you are looking for. Giving a gentle grin I decided upon my next shopping stops, oh this was too good to miss…
Leaving my now finished snack, I left the café, sweeping past my shadow and totally ignoring him. For you sunshine life is about to get very in touch with your feminine side. Walking into the first of several shoe shops in the Mall I began indulging myself with the daintiest of shoes and yes, heels. Making sure I was right in the middle of the shop and ensuring he had nowhere to look other than at female shoes and heels. The assistants kept trying to help him, asking if there was anything they could do to help and the look on his face was simply priceless. Especially when I strolled past trying a pair of 5” heels that I knew made my legs look simply awesome and would make the balls of my feet feel like they had been dipped in molten lead after the first hour! Time for more fun I smiled and decided to buy these too.
Don’t ever let anybody tell you shopping for lingerie cannot be fun if some fool is trying to be inconspicuous… I made my way past Knickerbox, I had no intention of making this easy for anybody but me. I’ll teach you to follow a woman sunshine I thought as I found one of the largest Department Stores in the Mall and started “Power Lingerie Shopping” I could see my little shadow wanting a great hole to appear beneath his feet and swallow him. Especially at what was fast becoming a queue of “assistants” all young, attractive ladies taking turns to enjoy his discomfort asking if there was anything they could help him with. Even I am not that cruel and eventually (well alright after an hour or three) decided to cut him loose and arranged a taxi to get home.
Home was rather the anti-climax but I unpacked my shopping, removed the tags and hung everything in the wardrobes and cupboards. For some reason I simply had to try those spike heels again. Not suitable for everyday use but I knew they would be getting worn for at least one party! I tottered about a little as I got used to the heels and, yes OK I looked in the mirror — sue me then I’m a girl.
For some reason, I did not feel like a large meal and again a salad simply hit the spot. A light weight mix of green salad and pate with a light baguette and a glass of wine. I read through a book or two from the bookcase and checked my emails, spam, offers to buy stuff I didn’t want before and still didn’t, the usual rubbish that went straight to the recycle bin. Beyond that I spent some time on the cross trainer running out some of the stiffness and stress of the day.
Odd that I spotted that boy so easily, it was strange, as though he was stood in shadow but the place was well lit? I resolved to be a little more observant in the next few days and remembered an odd comment “Watch for Shadows, they move when you are not looking”.
My dreams that night were darker than I expected. I suppose that I had to pay the price for the afternoon’s little games…”Yes you do little one, I warned you that you face two choices, serve me or watch all you love be taken from you” I awoke several times covered in perspiration and cold shakes but resolved not to give in to the shadows. Whatever happened to put me into this body was down to them and somehow I did not feel especially grateful to whatever they were, quite the reverse in fact…
Well, today’s the day… where do I work and what do I actually do? Well I had Clarice’s number, she must be my boss and an address of an office block in Town so I decided to call in and get started in the morning. Get a few pointers about what I did and deliver Dr Bain’s letter about me working part time and on light duties for the first few weeks. Breakfast was the low-cal option, cereal and yoghurt washed down with fruit tea. Funny, I had never been a breakfast girl but now it just seemed right. Putting a light makeup on, must try to look professional although with my luck I’m the typist.
A brief tram ride back into the centre saw me stood outside a rather nondescript office block near the Police Station. Looking at my letters I made my way toward the reception…
“Good morning, I’m Martine Edwards I believe I should be reporting here?”
An attractive blonde looked up at me, taking in my new appearance as she answered “Martine Edwards? Oh yes, we knew you’d been delayed starting so I’ll arrange for HR to send somebody down to collect you. You feeling OK now?”
“Well I’m on part time for a while until Dr Bain signs me off but I think getting back into the swing of things may be the best medicine yes?”
“You’re probably right, look please take a seat and HR will send one of their drones to assimilate you.” She grinned. I always remembered that joke myself…”Logic is futile, you will be assimilated”.
“Sure, I’ll wait over here OK?” I gave her a smile, she was trying to make me welcome and clearly was not the normal corporate drone you found at the door.
“Ms Edwards?” a middle aged woman, well-built but still reasonably attractive appeared at the far end of the reception near the lifts.
Standing I held out my hand ”Good morning, I’m Martine Edwards”
“Excellent, I hope you are much recovered. I’m Anne Sleaford, I am the assistant HR Manager and thought you should have a little more of the tour than perhaps a more junior member of our team. Now please come with me and we can get a tea and go through the basics of your new position before Clarice gets you into her clutches. Oh, she is not quite that bad, the reverse in fact. She will do anything to protect and take care of her team so you will be in good hands”.
She guided me towards the lift and we went up several floors, 8 or 9 I think. For some reason I have never really enjoyed lifts but there you have it and it was just a means to an end.
“Now Martine, this is my office and we just have the usual bumph to get through to regularise your position here.” She passed me a file with a number of empty spaces to sign, “Just sign the blanks, don’t worry these are just transferring you from London to this Office. You’ll need a new photo I/d and we can do that now. Just hold still and I’ll scan it through and you can collect your I/d in a few minutes. Now time for a quick brew and then I’ll take you to your new office. I don’t expect you to do more than two half days at first, remember Dr Bain will be reviewing your recovery and I doubt you’ll be too active in the field at first regardless of what Clarice wants.”
“Well that seems pretty much what I expected. I suppose I should be based here until I find my feet?”
“Yes, a reasonable plan although I have no doubt that someone of your skills will soon be out in the field where you belong dear” Anne passed a cup of tea to me and I took a long sip feeling the warmth of the tea spreading across my body.
Another woman, perhaps her assistant appeared with a small package for Anne. She took it with a smile of thanks and looked straight at me…
“Welcome to HMRC SPO Martine Edwards” (SPO — Senior Preventative Officer) with that, she shook my hand firmly and stood up. “Time to meet your team and your boss Martine”.
Guiding me along the corridors, Anne took me to a well lit office and guided me in. “This is where your team will be based. Most are out on investigation but will be back shortly. Your desk is right there, she pointed to a desk with a small wooden nameplate, “SPO M Edwards”
Taking a seat I began to log on to the PC terminal and checked some of the collected corporate bumph that collects whenever you take a holiday or sick leave. I acknowledged the usual HR stuff and moved the rest to a series of folders to read later… much later actually…alright, never if I could get away with it!
A loud series of noises brought me around from my reverie as I read my way through the e-mails and documents. Looking up I saw a collection of men and women walking into the office led by a smartly dressed middle aged woman with her dark hair pulled into a most severe bun.
“Who’s this then, the new typist? Wrong desk luv, typing is down the hall. That’s Marty Edwards desk!” a slightly older man, somewhat scruffily dressed looked down his nose at me “Oh and get the kettle on, tea milk and sugar for me luv”
Oh great I had a real life Neanderthal to deal with. Looking coldly at him I pointed to the nameplate and my new I/d lying next to it and raised an eyebrow.
“Right boys and girls, the perceptive will notice our new SPO has arrived. The skirt does not mean she comes from Scotland. Vince if you ever want to get that promotion you had best join the 21st Century or I’ll find a nice Excise post so far off the beaten track you won’t find it with a hunting dog and a Ouija board got that? Any other great observations from this elite team of investigators? No… good. Don’t fill in your arrest reports until I’ve decided what it was you actually did do. Andy,” she nodded to a shy but really rather attractive looking man of about my age with the deepest brown eyes don’t stare girl! Really, he’s a hunk isn’t he… “Two tea’s in my office, there’s people dying of thirst out here!” With that she walked past me and straight into a side office marked “ACPO C Adams”
“Right so you are the Marty Edwards we’ve been waiting for. Sorry about your getting shot but these things happen. Short version of events, you put in for a transfer to this team and moved up from London. You got shot, probably as a diversion from the intended target but we’ve no great evidence to do much with that. The scumbag that did it copped a plea deal, I’ve got suspicions about that but Andy took care of that little git.”
“What? How?”
“Want a garden gnome?” Clarice looked amusedly at me.
“Pardon?”
“Well not one of the ones that scum got found with obviously. Appears he had 200 gnomes all stuffed with Cocaine in his lockup. Possession with intent to supply and kept schtum at his interrogation claiming it was all a fit up. Yeah, somebody who shoots an agent is suddenly mr sweet and innocent. Jury didn’t fall for it so he walked onto the fifteen years he should have got for shooting one of my agents and a member of joe public.
“Wait, you mean….” I couldn’t believe it!
“I serve the Law but sometimes the Law needs a nudge. You are just what I need to deal with an interesting “issue”. There seems to be a new means of hiding cocaine for smuggling. A perfect means incapable of field detection and that means we could face a scale of smuggling that is simply frightening. About time Andy, we’re dying of thirst here.” She looked up as that nice looking young man Andy came in with two teas.
“Andy will be joining your team along with Rosie Harford and Vince “the missing link” Harris. He can be a bit of a misogynist but will always have your back and a better man in a fast search and entry I’ve yet to meet.”
“Hmm?” concentrate girl! I am concentrating! Hold the Front Page he is soooo hot! “Oh thanks” I took the tea and listened to Clarice’s advice while trying to calm down and really stop thinking about how his arms and lips were going to feel!
“Now you are on light duty so I’m not putting you in the field just yet so don’t try to do it all at once. I want you to go through the files for the moment and see what we’ve missed.”
“OK I can take care of that, anything else I need to know?”
“Unfortunately yes. We’ve been given an “observer” to check up on our efforts. It seems somehow Head Office has decided to send some backroom cowboy to make sure we don’t play fast and loose with the regs. We don’t of course but we’re stuck with him. Frankly I wouldn’t trust him out of my sight and to be honest he doesn’t look better in my sight. Watch your back Martine…” Clarice looked actually concerned at this but was it because her empire was under threat or something else? “His name is Chris Matthews, he has an office down the corridor allegedly but it seems to be “under refurbishment” and nobody appears to enter or leave.”
Strange, the name rang a bell… I knew someone of that name who appeared under the guise of trying to help me but trashed my career the moment it benefited him and left me holding the baby in the kangaroo court that followed…. No way! No way could he be the same one, it would be the day the Devil took a snowplough to work if it was the same man.
Tea over I returned to my desk to continue reading through the notes. I noted that Clarice had added two passwords to the documents but there was an additional level that displayed a very different file if only one password was entered. Frankly I was impressed! In some respects Andy was a little unimpressive, he was let down by an almost humorous lack of self-confidence but I knew I could work on that as he kept stuttering whenever he appeared next to me.
“OK Andy, look I don’t want to be rude but if you don’t hurry up and ask the question I’m going to drag it out of you, understand?”
“Y…yes ma’am I… I mean”
“My name is Martine, you can call me Marty if it makes you feel happier but in private OK?”
“Y…yes Martine it’s just I thought that you might like an introduction to the area, I mean you know what you are doing but I thought you might like to go… to”
“Go out for a meal? That sounds like a plan Andy. Did you have somewhere in mind? I think you are my immediate assistant so we should work closely together. What do you say?” I tried to bring him around to my way of thinking.
“You mean go for a meal?” he asked. I started to think he’d never actually been out but with eyes like that it was a lack of self-belief and I wanted to encourage him because I would be relying on his insight and instincts.
“Yes a meal would be lovely Andy. I’m sure you know a few nice intimate places?” Oh great I was flirting too… Hey he could be a real stud if he had a little more confidence and YOU spotted that Marty. Oh just what I needed, the spectral co-pilot wants to play too…
“Well Luigis gives us a rate and it’s pretty discrete too. Say I collect you about six?” He looked a little more hopeful.
“OK I’ll leave early and get changed, a girl should get into her glad rags for a date wouldn’t you say?” I smiled at him, losing myself in his eyes…
“A date?” he looked confused.
“Gentleman plus girl plus meal equals date silly!” I grinned at his discomfort but couldn’t bring myself to hurt Andy. I knew that whatever happened Andy would always be there for me. Hey am I batting for the opposition now? Oh… I am the opposition now, I grinned to myself...
For our first date, Andrew and I decided to meet at a local watering hole, an old refurbished Victorian Pub. Like many it had been “modernised” but many of the original features like the Saloon and Snug had been retained. We would meet about 6pm and then walk down the road to Luigi’s for our meal.
I decided to take an early day after reading the initial briefing notes. There was certainly a new method of smuggling that seemed impervious to normal investigative means. Hold on, if it was impervious how did we know about it? There was no information of any rummage searches or investigative successes, something was definitely odd here…
“Rosie, could you do me a favour and grab a tea please?” I asked Rosie Harford, a likeable blonde woman in her mid-twenties with a ready smile and apparently eager to help.
“Sure Boss” Rosie popped off to the other side of the office where the kettle and cups lurked.
“Oh Rosie, is there a brew club? I don’t want to impose”
“Well there is but while you’re getting settled in nobody is going to worry too much. Unless you gobble all the Hobnobs of course!”
“No worries Rosie, “ I replied patting my figure, “I’ve got to keep this in trim, if nothing else to keep Dr Bain off my back”.
“Well keep it quiet but we’ve been on the diet ones for a while, Vince and Andy haven’t worked it out yet and we girls are running a book on how long it takes them to realise from the evidence.”
“You mean the writing on the packet” I groaned “I thought we were an elite investigation team not missing things directly under our noses.”
“Men…” Rosie giggled as she left a cup of tea for me and I returned to the screen.
Something definitely did not add up about this case. Misdirection and conflicting information were becoming a hallmark of the case. Leads and enquiries suddenly seemed to peter out or start again in different areas. Not one drug but a number of similar types yes, that’s it, look for the similar properties rather than a broad brush. A number of drug types I felt I could omit, marijuana — no real value and given local gangs ability to operate growing facilities we were monitoring power and water usage, a simple linear statistical model was proving effective and best of all allowed passive searches so when we or the Police made the knock the surprise was all but total. Methamphetamines and “Designer” drugs? No the profit was one thing but once the raw materials were identified it was much the same as others… Whoa girl, they could be a target along with our old friend cocaine, if it isn’t the what but the how… I realised. If the means were effective enough then they could be used to hide or scramble the search methods. Then I remembered something Gail once mentioned about her work into molecular re-sequencing, changing the properties of certain substances and changing their reaction properties… Now that could work were the process to be reversible but I’d need to speak to Gail somehow and make sure she was not involved. I also needed to speak to the Boss and discuss my insight.
“Hello, you must be the missing Martine” a cultured voice said. I caught a well-dressed man just off to one side but well away from reading my notes. Quickly I encrypted the file and cleared the screen.
“Yes, I’ve just come back to work, you are?”
“Chris Matthews, I lead the team down the corridor but I’ve been assigned to review SPO Adams methodologies.” That voice, I swear I’ve heard it somewhere, now I think on it that blasted name is ringing alarm bells too. “Well, got to be going, people to investigate and amaze with our investigative skills!” with a cheery wave he was gone, leaving me wanting to wash my hands with bleach.
“So Martine, you’ve met Mr Perfect then, first impressions?” Clarice had joined us in the office like a protective mother hen with her chicks. Frankly he made me felt like the chick being invited to lunch by the fox.
“There’s something I cannot put my finger on, like I met him in a past life or something. Anyway, I need to speak with you before I leave. Privately?”
We discussed my instincts about the initial notes, occasionally Clarice raised an eyebrow.
“Sounds like you have some ideas as to where or what you are looking for?”
“Well yes but frankly it sounds more than a little Star Trek, all we need is “Unobtainium” or raw “Handwavium” because I don’t know if this technology even works.”
Clarice pressed a small button on what appeared to be a small tablet computer. A short beep and display as she ran her finger across a print scanner.
“OK Martine, you’ve identified the connection and yes the technology exists to effectively change certain drugs into other materials although only for short periods. This information is classified “Eyes Only” under no circumstances are you to discuss this with other members of your team until and unless I say so. The good news is that Andy is cleared to handle your reports. Keep Rosie away from this for the moment, she’s very new and until she has an op or two let’s let her find her feet gently. Vince is part of my team so let me worry about “The Missing Link” and for goodness sakes keep Matthews well away from things, refer him to me and leave it at that OK?” Clarice smiled as she sipped her tea. “Oh by the way, what is your guess on the girl’s sweepstake? I know Rosie has been running one since changing the biccies!”
“Well I haven’t put a date in, I’ll give it some thought this evening.”
“Really? I thought you had a meal to go to,” Clarice smiled indulgently, “Andy’s a good man and I wouldn’t want to see either of you get hurt. Take it gently and have a good time.” With that she dismissed me and sent me home.
Fortunately, I got out of the building without running into Chris again. There was something I could not put my finger on about him. I had heard the voice and the name before but was it when I was still Marty? Well what the heck, for the moment, I had a meal with Andrew and for some reason I knew it was a date as well as getting to know him better. Now there was somebody I wanted to know better, I felt a warm glow as I thought about tonight… I also felt a chill at the sight in the corner of my eye… she was back, nodding and starting to decompose.
“Sorry Hun, you are still on the clock dear. Enjoy your new found womanhood but remember now you’ve met some of the players in this game and You will decide your future and that of many of those around you. You are a nexus, your choices will shape the destiny of others and perhaps grant you a measure of vengeance. Make a good choice, I have every confidence in you Martine.”
Shivering a little and feeling the blush that had been building on my cheeks die down. Great, I get spectral cold showers too, oh goody! I walked out of the building and into the street. Taking a tram home I took a chair on the balcony looking out across the town, looking at all the innocent souls scurrying about their lives. I wondered how many of them had little voices haunting them?
Whatever, time to decide what to wear and take a short bath and clean up. I wanted a “girl next door look” but not too upfront, it was a date but I didn’t want to force things with Andy. But why did I feel soo gooey when I thought about him? As Marty I had been on occasional dates although they never had me feeling like this. Not the LBD though, no make it professional but approachable. I decided on a knee length blue skirt and pearl blouse, blue jacket and matching jewellery. Laying the clothes out I ambled off to take a short bath and prepare mentally for tonight. I did set an alarm so that even if I dozed off I would be up in plenty of time to prepare and make my way back into town.
Bath over, I patted myself dry and began to work on my makeup and jewellery. Funny, I thought, I bet no Questing Knight or Samurai prepared so much to look so casual but well turned out. Putting on my clothes and collecting my bag and jacket I checked my phone and e-mails before leaving. All in good time to meet Andy, hopefully this was going to be fun albeit my first date as Martine.
A short tram trip back into town and to the Bar we had agreed to meet in before going to Luigi’s. The Mitre was a nice restored pub and we took our drinks into the Saloon Bar and managed to find seats.
“So how long have you been on the team Andy?” I resolved to keep shop talk to a minimum but there were a few things I needed to discover about Andrew.
“Since the Boss formed it about six years ago. It’s not bad work and I’m pretty good at it according to the Guv. Oh, she doesn’t really like to be called Guv but it’s traditional and she knows we think it even if we say ma’am.” He gave a wry smile, “The team is pretty much my first post after a short stay rummaging.”
I knew about the “rummagers” their job was to “rummage” through the hiding places on ships and trucks looking for the things that shouldn’t be there. Not really popular with the Navy but they had the same attitude to drugs that we did and I know occasional blind eyes were turned to “rabbits” if the value wasn’t too far out of line and it had been a long deployment. Merchant sailors well there had been issues with them, some of them too fond of knives and violence. You did hear things but they were hushed up pretty quickly by the powers that be.
“Cleaner job than rummaging eh Andy?” I smiled.
“You bet, you wouldn’t believe the rubbish we waded through. How’s the drink?”
“Not bad although I don’t want to overdo it. I suppose the team has the occasional fling though? And I wouldn’t want to think I’m leading you astray.” He actually blushed at that, so cute I thought.
“Well we don’t have too many parties but always after an event and a good report. I don’t think there will be too many with that Matthews about. He’s new, seems alright but it’s like he’s looking into you if you get what I mean and there’s something I cannot put my finger on, it’s as though he knows about you and it makes my skin creep. I shouldn’t say that sort of thing though you know?”
“Well if asked I didn’t hear anything Andy,” I put my hand over his and looked into his deep, sooo deep, brown eyes. Hey girl, still got the meal you know! Great, bad enough I had a spectral cold shower, now she’s the gooseberry too. I heard that cheeky! I felt the smile though, I wondered if I would ever really find about her.
“So did you book a meal or can we get away with a walk in?”
“No probs this time of week Marty, Luigi can usually fit a small group in and to be honest, he doesn’t pack the place out too much but likes to leave room about the tables for everybody. Oh the good news is it’s not just a pizza place his meals are pretty OK Yah!” OMG I hadn’t heard that turn of phrase since the 90’s, I couldn’t help myself and smiled, blushed a little and looked up at Andy through dipped eyelashes. You are sooo girly!
“Well let’s go up to Luigi’s eh?” Andy stood and helped me out of my chair. Oh a gentleman, let’s see how this goes… “Oh I never asked, is there anything you can’t eat? Sorry I should have checked.”
“No the only thing I can’t eat is cheese. Odd allergy but there you have it. I have to be careful in Italian’s” I blushed, “I mean careful with the food.”
Andy blushed too!
“Oh I’m so used to it that I never really give it any thought, just read the small print and carry a magnifying glass! Of course, I love Japanese and Chinese food so perhaps…”
“You mean if tonight is OK we could have another meal or something?” Andy actually looked hopeful at the thought that date number two was on the cards if he was a good boy.
We walked down the road, the weather being pretty warm and dry and towards the sign marking “Luigi’s — Italian Meals”. I had the naughty thought “just lika mamma used to make” but controlled myself as I leant into Andy’s side. Odd I thought, it felt so right and I couldn’t think of anywhere I would rather be.
“Hey Luigi, table for two, menu and a bottle of the good cooking wine eh?”
“Senor Andy, finally I see you with beautiful lady, per’aps you finally weakening yes?” A stout, moustached greying man appeared from the bar. “’An who is the lady somebody nice yes?”
“Luigi, meet my new boss, Martine Edwards, just taken over a team at the office. She made the news a while back, remember that poor pair of people who got shot?”
“Scuse, now I remember, you feeling much better yes? Tonight, for you on the house. This reprobate gets ’is bill anyway ‘an ‘e can pay double, OK?” Luigi gave a broad smile at his own humour.
“Thanks, Luigi was it? I’m Martine Edwards. I’m new in town and still finding my feet.” I took the hand Luigi offered, a nice firm handshake and a warm smile.
“Well this is best Italian in town, not like those pizza and pasta places sellin’ overpriced undercooked rubbish. Come I get you seat, this way please.” He directed us to a small discrete booth toward the rear of the restaurant and left us with the menu.
“Oh Luigi, Martine didn’t mention it but she cannot eat cheese.” Andrew said as Luigi assisted me into a straw covered seat in front of a small table with that almost compulsory red and white checked table cloth Italian restaurants all seem to have.
“Really? Is not so uncommon as you may think. Luigi and chef can fix easy. I bet other places just throw cheese and ‘ope for best? Here we can make menu fit you no worries Senora Martine. Leave it to us.” He gave a warm smile, so unlike my experiences with other restaurants where I was treated as a necessary nuisance.
I sat back and chatted with Andy as we waited for Luigi or his waiter to bring a menu. “So tell me Andy, this may seem odd but where do you take your holidays?” He looked a little uneasy at this, “It’s OK, I tend to potter about at home and take the occasional walk, I’ve never been a lie on the sands and tan girl” I tried to put him at ease and the truth was I hadn’t taken a real holiday in years, camps with Scouts and the like but even that had become rarer over the past few years.
“Well truth is like you I just don’t travel like I used to. I have a friend who gets me to pet sit at their cottage, they go abroad on business and let me use their cottage for a week or two so it’s sort of a cheap deal but not what you’d call holiday I suppose.”
“It’s not by the coast is it?” I remembered my dreams when I first woke up…
“Well yes, not a tourist trap sort of place, just like a fishing village time forgot. I think the harbour silted up and all the boats pretty much left after that. Not really viable to try to make a living with a rowing boat I suppose.”
“Sounds nice, maybe we could have a run to the sea sometime, it would be nice to visit somewhere off the tourist route.”
“Why not? We could always visit later in the year. They’d be surprised I had company but Bob and Gina, that’s their names by the way, are pretty friendly folks.” He looked uncomfortable, “Oh I did ask the Guv to run a quick check, can’t be too careful you know.”
“Scuse.” A young waiter appeared with the menus, “Luigi ‘E say try the baked White Fish with pasta. Is OK for you and you’ll love it or you may try a nice salad with it?” He grinned trying to introduce me to some strange Italian Salad conspiracy.
“Sounds great, yes please I’ll take the salad option. Andy?”
“Just straight Bolognese for me please.”
“Andy” I looked straight at him, “Where’s your sense of adventure? Come on try something new.”
“Maybe next time Marty, this is my treat after all.”
“Ok” I giggled, OK so I am becoming a girly girl on occasion. I think we both had the good grace to blush a little as we talked about life outside the office. Obviously I had to be a little vague but thought I would chat with Clarice about my transfer tomorrow. It seemed we shared a number of hobbies although his idea of music told me that an iPod and earphones were in my future if we went out together and he was driving. Well the old rule was he who drives get to choose the music and Andy was about to be introduced to Mozart and classical music. Hey a girl is allowed to change the rules for her benefit so just keep him on his toes. Thank you, I thought acidly, and you had best get used to classical music too! Oooh, get you Hun, actually didn’t you check the apartment? Well I did see the same taste in DVD’s, you mean we’re really quite alike?
“Marty?”
“Sorry, I must have been miles away,” blush rising I could feel my cheeks burning, “I must seem a bit of an airhead sometimes.”
“No you looked lost in thought and I think your fish is coming. Luigi didn’t need to poach them from the local reservoir this time.”
“I ‘eard that bandito!” Luigi boomed.
“Hey I never said your cooking was ever less than fantastic Luigi, it’s Just…”
“Don’t even think it” he scowled but his eyes were bright with humour. “Senora, your fish, enjoy. Now I go spit in 'is pasta!”
“OK Luigi, I’m sorry.” Andy laughed as Luigi and I finally gave into the temptation to break into laughter.
It took us a while to stop but the wine was certainly crisp and most enjoyable with the meal. The meal itself was simply divine, the cooking was everything Andy had promised. I found myself scraping all of the rich sauce from the plate.
“Thanks Andy, that was a great meal. If I had never been told about this place I don’t think I would ever have found it.” I found myself looking deeply into his eyes, my I found myself wanting him… Whoa girl, time out here, first date alert!
“Well the company was lovely, fancy a sweet or shall we just have coffee and I’ll drop you off home.”
“Oh coffee please, then I think I’d best get home. Don’t want to find I’ve left a shoe behind and my taxi turns into a pumpkin.”
“No danger of that because I think it means I’m the mouse and you don’t like cheese.” He laughed easily at the allusion to Cinderella.
“’Ere you are Senora, coffee an’ biscuits. Enjoy, I get this oaf ‘is bill. ‘E behave ‘imself?” Luigi appeared in an instant.
“Come on Luigi, you know I am the perfect gentleman.” Andy smiled and almost winked.
“You better be or you be washing up for weeks to come.”
“Not me, I don’t want dishpan hands!” He looked straight at me. “Here’s to you Martine, a lovely person and hopefully a great boss.” He tilted the coffee cup towards me with a grin.
A warm glow passed through me as I returned the toast. “Thanks Andy, it’s been wonderful. Don’t forget to pay Luigi, you don’t want to find a horse’s head next to you tomorrow!”
I got my coat as Andrew settled up his bill, giving Luigi a brief hug and thanks for a wonderful meal. As all this occurred, another shadow appeared in the corner of my eye. A small group of chatting people about a larger table covered with food, one of the party seemed there in outline. Frankly I put it to one side, we had a wonderful evening and I was not going to let the shadows fall between us. However, I was going to have to be more observant and was not going to raise these with either Andy or Clarice unless I wanted to find myself inspecting the fit of those nice sleeveless jackets that tie up the back…
A short walk brought us to the Taxi Rank and we swiftly found one. Andy took me back to my place first and giving the driver a tip to wait for him walked me to the door of my apartment. He’d already declined a cup of coffee perhaps correctly deciding that he needed to be at work on time and a late night early in the week was not a good idea.
What was a good idea was the kiss and hug we shared in my doorway. “Thanks Andy, that was a lovely night. I hope we can do it again sometime?” My kiss had been rather sisterly but held the promise of nicer things to come.
“And to you Martine, I’ve not had a night like that.” He still looked a little shy and unsure but I wasn’t I felt as though I had known Andrew for years and could almost predict how he would think. Actually I had never felt that about somebody else and the feeling while a little confusing was certainly not unwelcome.
“OK, see you tomorrow, remember I’m on part-time duties for a while but I hope to be back up to speed soon. Keep me posted of anything I miss please?”
“No problems Martine, I’ve got your back. See you tomorrow, best get back that Taxi I’m part buying will probably have me working overtime for months to come.” He smiled warmly as he left me and I closed the door and walked across the apartment.
Kicking my shoes off, I smiled at the feeling of freedom as my tendons stretched. Heels may help my legs look good but not wearing them too long was probably a good idea. Removing my other clothes I hung them up and placed my blouse and other smalls in the laundry basket. Wrapping a towel gown about me I pattered barefoot across the floor before I remembered where I had put my slippers. Heavens that bare floor was cold! Hopping onto the sofa with a cup of chocolate, I curled up and thought back upon what had been a really lovely night. I wondered if I had come on a little strong to Andrew but that was the strangest thing about that dream and it seemed so right to ask about it. It was as though we completed each other and I felt that warm glow as I realised that could hopefully be the case.
Then I felt a shiver as I remembered the “Shadowman’s” threat to hurt what I loved. I thought he meant Gail but could he mean Andrew? Perhaps, or perhaps nobody knew I was originally Marty Harrison and our merging created a new, stronger person? Of course, that was how I spotted the issue with the investigation. I needed to look at original reports and perhaps gentle chats with the people involved. I would run that past Clarice, something about her made me trust her, an inner drive or strength of will. I would have to stay observant about things and work my way through the mystery that put me here. Also, of course, I would try to find out who both of these people, Clarice Adams and Chris Matthews, why and what were they fighting over?
1 “Handwavium” — A common element on Star Trek and the likes. A sort of waving of the hands and “Don’t look too closely at this because the story needs it”. Think warp drive in Star Trek.
2 “Unobtainium” — A material that could speculatively exist but probably does not and whose properties can change to meet the needs of the story. E.g. “Cavorite. In general a material specified by engineering/science facilities and unavailable to purchasing.
3 "Rabbit" - a Royal Navy term for presents brought home after an overseas deployment.
My name is Martine Edwards, NO! Marty Harrison! I’ve been shot and woken up in a strange new world. A mirror of my world but I’m a woman! What happened? Where is this? Am I dead like the reflection in the mirror said or is the Shadowman really my unconscious self trying to help me make sense? One thing is certain, to get home I have to find out why I was shot… Dig out the truth and wake up from this dream.
The following day I arrived late, OK sue me, sometimes it’s nice to ride the sick note a little and the duvet was sooo inviting…
Not so inviting was the welcome, you know, that feeling that somebody has walked across your grave? Well I think I was buried under a motorway… Something, was watching me, whatever or whoever, was doing so I could not track. A few shadowy figures like last time but nobody appeared to be paying attention to me.
Arriving at the Office brought a few ribald comments from “the missing link”, well jealousy, I thought. Andrew was out somewhere but Clarice gave me some hard looks. Unfortunately that was matched with a summons to her office, oops, interview without coffee then.
“Nice of you to join us Marty, I’ve got two cases for you to look over today. Prelim reports and suggestions for observation by four.”
“OK, I’ll get right on it. Sorry for the delay but…”
“I know, light duties, don’t want you getting too tired just yet. Matthews is muscling in on at least one current op. He’s talking about getting his team to make the arrests and take over the op.”
“What? I thought teams were independent?”
“Normally yes, looks like he’s wired in with some of the brass hats somehow. Politics and the like.”
“Well I hope my guardian angel is on duty and I can stay out of the way. I’ve read the prelim notes you gave me and have some idea where to start.”
“Really? Step into my parlour clever girl”. Clarice raised an eyebrow at the news.
Inside the office, she again swept for bugs. Paranoia I supposed but given people trying to kill you I think a certain amount of caution was called for.
“OK girl, what have you found.”
“Well it may seem off the wall but I remember hearing the University had a department working on molecular morphology, changing temporarily certain properties but it is a temporary change. Lasts maybe 24-36 hours so more of academic rather than commercial application but I think it could be used to hide assorted nasties from our attention but they’d not just need the apparatus but the time an Excise team was inspecting.” I carefully kept quiet that my sister was working in that department but knew there was no way she would get involved with criminal types and anyway, where would she get contacts here to evade detection. Something was not right and my senses were starting to tingle.
Clarice pursed her lips and looked me in the eye…
“Marty, that sounds like unobtainium again. Are you sure that this is possible?”
“Yes Boss, I heard about it in passing from a Researcher working there. Of course it could just be a tall tale, you know, like “gremlins”?”
“I know what a gremlin is and there’s enough of them in this place. What drew you to this idea?”
“It is off the wall but any criminal outfit getting hold of the research or worse grabbing one of the researchers and their notes would have a totally deniable asset and more importantly be able to completely bypass our teams with little or no direct possibility of detection. Where would Matthews fit into this? Just empire building or something else?” I thought I’d make a stab at finding a little more about him…
Just a light day reviewing case notes eh? No way. My Guardian Angel must have chucked her hand in and gone on leave. At least I wasn’t reading the secure files when I felt a shadow over me. Looking up I saw Chris Matthews, smiling like he’d won the lottery, broad grin (think Shark girl!) eyes flashing but somehow empty. Ice blue eyes, they say the eyes are windows to the soul… Looks like the curtains are drawn then. Silver grey hair, the appearance that at some time he may have had a moustache or beard, well groomed nails but in addition to the slightly normal appearance he seemed to fall into shadow as though there was a curtain drawn over his expression before a new one was revealed.
“Just checking on our newest recruit and wondering if I could offer her a short lunch? My treat of course.” His smile gently changed but still seemed practiced rather than open.
My instincts were to run but how else was I going to find out what was happening and somehow HE seemed to be a major part of it.
“Sure, we can enjoy a coffee in the canteen.”
“No, my treat. How about a small, discrete little café not so very far from here? A nice private meal and we can get to know much more about each other.”
“And where is this place? I cannot go too far as I’ve a meeting with Ms Adams shortly.” Well it was true, sort of.
“Oh just around the corner, a Chinese Buffet, the Golden Lantern. Fairly new so still has a decent chef” He gave an almost menacing grin as he added, “Before Immigration catch up anyway.”
What the heck, as long as the Boss knew where I was and it wouldn’t hurt to give Andy the nod so he could watch my back. A naughty thought brushed across my mind… He could help scrub me clean afterwards.
“OK, I suppose it wouldn’t do any harm to get to know some of the other teams in the area.” I stood up, passed an email to Clarice and copied to Andy and collected my jacket. “Shall we?”
“Certainly, lunch awaits” He opened the door and waited for me to leave.
The Golden Lantern turned out to be one of those “all you can eat” buffet places and was just off Market Street, barely 100 yards from the Office. Clearly Chris was either a regular or was well in with the owner and staff. On arriving, he was greeted by the staff with respect if not exactly like a long-lost friend the way Andy was by Luigi, look closely hun you are going to learn something important but DON’T let it show, my little co-pilot voice was back on duty or at least had left the alarm on.
Like most lunches with somebody from another office, we started with the usual small talk. At least, perhaps following one of those unwritten rules, we did not discuss my work but he gave me his potted history. Apparently he had been transferred a few months earlier and was forming a new team.
“So how many are on your team?”
“Quite a few but they’re tied up with other things at the moment. Perhaps you might consider working with me on some projects?” He looked quizzically at me as he did so.
“But I’ve only just got here and I’m still finding my feet with the various investigations we have at present. You know we shouldn’t really be discussing this?”
“Don’t worry, the people here will not pass anything on, I’ll have their tongues and ears if they ever did and they know it.” He looked almost fierce as he said this and frankly I felt a little nervous.
“Oh don’t let my fierce face put you off. I offer nothing but friendship and my assistance in your career and I can help you a great deal. Just join me and we can do great things, I can offer you your dreams.”
In some ways, that was the most uncomfortable meal I have ever had. I felt like I was on the menu, oh Chris was politeness itself. But, you know when you can feel dirty without actually getting into the dirt? And I swear that on occasion, and it must be a trick of the light in that place, his face seemed engulfed by shadows.
“I mean it,” he tried to reassure me, “I offer nothing but my friendship and to help you achieve your dreams here. I have an operation coming to fruition and you can assist me greatly just by keeping me in the loop so to speak. No, I don’t expect you to betray Clarice, but I need certain information that you have access to. Please don’t worry…” he placed his hand on mine, “it is nothing classified, just some routine data about an existing operation. Operation Sunstar, I need the names of the main players and their places of operation.” He showed me a security clearance that would allow access but I couldn’t help thinking why not just access the file? On the other hand, I knew some divisions did operate rather independently and kept secrets from each other…
“Well, I should check with Clarice, I am new in post after all…” I tried to dissemble.
“Not to worry, the data I asked for is just a sign of good intent and that you are willing to be a team player… You are a team player aren’t you Martine?” he looked intently at me.
“Well I think so, I’ve always tried to do my best for the team but I am new and still finding my feet.”
“Don’t worry if you are concerned about breaking any confidences, you will be making them with those who count.” He looked at his watch and scowled. “Stopped again, I don’t know why I carry this other than it was a present from my father. I really must get it fixed” He looked up and at the clock on display near the counter.
The staff there looked away as his gaze passed over them. Almost with a tremor of fear?
With that, he stood, helped me to my feet and draped my coat across my shoulders but there was a distinct feeling of uneasiness as his hand passed over my shoulders. What was that old saying? “A pat on the back is the recce for the knife” I remembered hearing that years ago. If I was meant to hear something important, I wish it came with a clue…