Sydney Moya
© 2012
He turned off the telly with a muttered oath.
“Bloody sods,”
Frank couldn’t bear to watch the Sunday football anymore it hurt too much even though it had been nearly five years since the event that caused the bitterness had taken place.
Daisy, his wife of 25 years sighed. He’d taken it hard, they all had but it had been particularly hard on Frank, losing a son as well as a dream he’d cultivated since the birth of that child and probably even longer knowing her husband the way she did, he played hard and didn’t do things in half-measures which almost guaranteed that he would be disappointed so much more than the average person.
Who could blame him? Having your boy throw away everything you’d taught him and if everyone was to be believed heaps of talent to become one of those thingies who minced around dressing as women was enough to depress anyone.
She tried her best to be objective but it just didn’t make sense. No one in their right mind could do what Alan had done. Reading about it in the Daily Mail was one thing but having your own child do it was another altogether.
How could an eighteen year old boy decide he didn’t want to be a man?
It beggared belief and sounded like a script from a soap opera except it wasn’t so funny when it was your own kid involved. Basically Alan had told them he was really a girl which was ridiculous, a strapping lad of 5’10 like that. He was going to start living as a woman and hopefully get the sex change itself in a year or so.
Never mind that he was throwing away a perfectly good future as a footballer. He had been very good and some premier league teams had been sniffing around along with a few teams from the Continent. Naturally they had pleaded with him not to be silly but he’d stood his ground which had had led to Frank blowing his top clouting the lad in the face. Alan was gone the following afternoon.
Daisy’s eyes misted as she thought about it. It bloody hurt it did and it had shattered all of them not just Frank. She wondered about her child all the time and asked herself where they had gone wrong with Alan. His brother and sister were as right as rain. Richard 25 was engaged to a lovely girl while Trish 20 had a steady job as a hairdresser. Ordinary with ordinary futures but Alan the one with all the talent and the chance to change his future so that he’d never want for anything had to throw it away.
The sad woman wiped a stray tear and retrieved a lager for her husband and joined him on the sofa.
Ellen Hayes was driving to her team’s training centre at around the same time half way across the world in the States. Life was good she thought as she caught her reflection in the rear view mirror of her s.u.v or whatever these American cars were called.
Being here for close to three years here hadn’t taken away her surprise at the cultural differences Brits and Yanks had and she could hardly get around to speaking like a local. Still life was good and fate had been good to her after dealing her a bad hand when she’d been born.
The second child of Frank and Daisy Hayes, she’d been born and bred in Norwich. Her father had got all of them into the game as soon as they could walk, taking her with him to the footie and getting her playing. She’d lived and breathed football for as long as she could remember just as passionate about the game as her da.
It helped to blunt the confusion then later on the pain she felt and didn’t understand. On the pitch as she dribbled past centre halves and scored goals she didn’t feel so uncomfortable and abnormal. She didn’t envy the girls like she did at school or get a chance to wander about wearing skirts and dresses or dream about what it would be like to wake up without that accursed thing between her legs. The beautiful game was her escape, her therapy which was why she spent so much time playing. Anything had to be better than the anguish she felt lying in bed or on seeing her naked body in the bathroom.
Awareness of what she was came at 14 in a lesson in class when some group had visited in their Social studies period. They’d talked about gender and sexuality and it was then that everything clicked and made sense. The answer to why she loathed her body and life in general so much, she was transgendered. She listened attentively as they talked about how it was treated, hormones then surgery which was when she’d realised she could fix this and didn’t have to feel depressed forever. A ray of light shone in her life for the first time ever.
She’d done her own research afterwards and furthered her own knowledge of it. It made perfect sense; she wasn’t really a boy and could never be one. Knowledge as well as giving hope can be dangerous too because she became even more sad when she realised she could never tell her parents at that juncture, they would never accept it. So she bid her time while her body went along staging its mutiny and taking her down a road she didn’t want to follow. It was terrible and the knowledge that all this was preventable made it harder to bear. Still she’d been lucky, not bulking up a lot like her brother Richard and the hair only reached her knees while there was no facial or chest hair either. Getting to 5’10 was sad but she knew it could be worse so she accepted it and waited to finish school. Watching Trish become a young woman hurt a lot though, life seemed so cruel at times.
The footie helped allay the depression somewhat and it was a boon that she was really good at it. Norwich signed her and by the time she was sixteen people were touting her as the next Rooney or something, she was quick, had a wicked left foot, good in the air and had what the pundits like to call a good footballing brain, that sense of knowing where to be and when to be there before anyone else did. It couldn’t be taught, it was just inborn, something her brother never had. She’d stayed in school till she was eighteen (a record in her family) despite this knowing she’d need an education if what she planned was to work.
Meanwhile her parents were already dreaming of having a Premier league footballer in the family with the terrific pay that went with that status. Her dad even hoped to see his kid in the white strip of the three lions if all went well. The sky was the limit.
Ellen of course was focused on one thing, transitioning as soon as she was 18. She was aware her family had high hopes for her and that she was going to disappoint them. There was no way she could become a footballer and then transition if she ever wanted a peaceful life for herself or her family. The tabloids would have them for breakfast. Living as a man for the rest of her life wasn’t on the cards either, instinctively she knew she’d rather die than have to do that.
So she’d saved most of the money she was earning and planned out what path her life would take when she was eighteen when school was done and her contract was up for renewal.
Telling her parents had been the worst part.
Her ‘A’ levels had come out the week before and she had passed with two B’s and a C, she was also due to start renegotiating her contract with her club later that week.
“Mum, Dad I have something to tell you,”she’d announced.
“Sure son, have you decided which team you’re joining? I’d love it if you chose to play for the Canaries (Norwich) but you have the final say,” Frank replied.
“Um, okay that’s kind of what I want to discuss,” replied Ellen before swallowing, “firstly I’m not going to be playing football anymore,” she announced.
Frank and Daisy where astounded. Hearing your child say he was abandoning something that he loved and was very good at would shock anybody.
“But why, you’re so good luv, you’re going places” Daisy responded, still staggered.
“I love playing but I can’t do it anymore,” answered Ellen before Frank cut in.
“What’d you mean, did you injure yourself?” said Frank.
Ellen wished it was that simple.
“No. I can’t continue playing because I want to do something that I will be unable to do if I carry on playing,” replied Ellen.
“Really and what would that be?” asked her father, sounding unconvinced.
“I want no actually I need stop living as I am. My life is a lie and I can’t fix it in the public eye,” remarked Ellen.
“What on earth on are going on about? Stop pussyfooting and say it like a man,” said Frank, beginning to lose patience with her.
Ellen sighed.
“That’s just it Dad, I’m not a man. I’m a woman and I want to sort that out. I’m going start living as a woman and then get surgery to fix my bits,” said Ellen softly, her courage waning.
“Nonsense I gave birth to you you’re a man not a woman,” said Daisy indignant, still not understanding.
Frank who’d understood looked pale.
“You said what?” he remarked quietly, simmering.
“I want to be a girl. I hate being male and I can’t go on like this,”
Daisy gasped which was when Frank decked his son.
“How can you? Are you a bloody poof? I won’t have it, you hear, I won’t bloody tolerate it. Ever!” yelled Frank as he punched Ellen repeatedly.
Ellen blocked as best as she could before Daisy intervened and stood between them. Frank didn’t dare touch his wife.
“Alan, stop this nonsense. You can’t do this, it’s silly and you’ll ruin your life. You’ll never be a woman,” said Daisy holding an enraged Frank’s arm.
“I don’t have a life. I’d rather die than go on like this,” said Ellen, crying before leaving the room and leaving the house.
“I’ll kill you myself,” said Frank angrily.
Her father’s reaction had made it clear she’d never be accepted for who she was. There was nothing for her in her childhood home and as her father had never lain a hand on her till that day she was in no doubt that she wouldn’t be safe at home. The next day she’d packed her things and went off to London.
“Dear Mum
All my life I’ve known something was wrong with me. I figured it out when I was fourteen. Inside I’m a girl though you see a boy on the outside. It’s horrible to go through life feeling like you don’t belong and hating your own skin forever uncomfortable with the body you were born with. If it wasn’t for the footie I’d have killed myself ages ago. So thank you for that. You might ask why I don’t try to forget it but I just can’t it eats at me day and night whenever I undress or take a shower or see a pretty dress or a bunch of girls just walking. I could never tell anyone and after what happened yesterday I think you know why I kept quiet. I know you think I’m crazy to throw away a chance at making a good living but it would be nothing but an empty life something I did that never fill the hole in my life. I have to be true to myself and this is what I’m going to do.
I will start living as a woman; change my name to Ellen Hayes and see a doctor. If everything works out I will begin taking female hormones and something to stop me developing any further as a man. After living full time as a woman for a year or so I’ll qualify for the surgery to fix my bits and make them a woman’s.
I know this hurts you but I have to do it or I’ll die and I don’t want that just a fair shot at life. I love you and Dad and Richie and Trish very much and if you never want to see me again I’ll understand.
Lots of love
Alan”
Ellen had found a job at a sporting goods store and had told the owner her situation. Luckily he understood her situation and the fact that she’d played football helped as she he wanted at least one expert in the store to help.
So her transition had started in a huge city she barely knew with no friends or family to help. The hormones helped a lot turning her slender form into a feminine shape, softening her face substantially. Not having a beard helped a lot and despite her height she passed quite well as the sporty chick she hoped to present as.
By the end of that year only intense observation would give away Ellen as someone born male. She had nice ‘B’ cup boobs, long defined legs that went on forever and a small waist. Her sun kissed blonde locks swept down to her shoulder blades. She’d had a nose job that looked just right in her heart shaped face.
Eighteen months after coming out she had the surgery that would remove the penis she hated so much and construct a vagina in its place. Her surgeon assured her she would look no different to other women and in time would probably experience the big ‘o’.
She was delighted with the results; it was like a burden had been removed from her shoulders. It wasn’t ‘back to normal’ as she had never felt normal before but every time she went to bed or woke up she felt this sense of rightness, everything being in place. Some say the euphoria would never end and Ellen thought it was great seeing as the dysphoria she’d suffered is the opposite of euphoria.
Transitioning didn’t magically solve all her problems but it allowed her to face the world on her terms as herself not as the construct that Alan had been, she was more confident and outgoing and she learnt to live not exist and for the first time she could recall she was in control of her life. No she didn’t have boys falling over themselves to date her but she did join the human race and began to socialise with people. She managed to make friends from both sexes for the first time in her life and as a result became less of a loner.
Her lucky break came at 20, Dave her boss ran a Sunday football team for the firm. He’d insisted on her playing for the team. Though with the hormones regimen she’d lost some of her power she was still fit enough to shine amongst the boozers she played with, sometimes skill is everything and she had plenty of that. It didn’t take to long for her establish herself as the team’s star player and the league’s top goal scorer. Playing for fun seemed to bring out the best in her and after one game where she’d bagged a hat trick a man approached her.
Lance Devlin coached a women’s varsity team in the U.S and was visiting his daughter who lived in London when he’d taken a walk that Sunday and stumbled across a Sunday League match at ground near her home. A true fan he’d paused to watch. Imagine his surprise at seeing a young woman the only one on the pitch at that moment run rings around the men there. She was so skilled, so good he wondered why she wasn’t playing at a higher level as her talent was clearly wasted here. Mesmerised he’d watched till the match ended before approaching her.
“Hi. Good game,” he told her.
Ellen registered the American accent and smiled.
“Thank you I enjoyed it,” she said graciously.
“You’re a good player. Why aren’t playing professionally. I believe women’s football is professional over here,” said Lance.
“Long story,” she said simply before shrugging.
“How old are you?” he asked.
“Twenty in a week,” Ellen answered wondering why she was talking to this complete stranger.
“Hey El are you coming we’re going for a pint,” yelled one of the lads in her team.
“Just a sec Jimmy,” said Ellen.
“Look I’m a coach at a varsity in the US and if you graduated high school I can get you a place on my team, full scholarship,” Lance told her.
“Oh I don’t know,” said Ellen quietly. She didn’t doubt his interest would evaporate when he learned she wasn’t genetically female but he didn’t know that.
Seeing her doubt he pulled out a piece of paper and gave his number to her asked her to call.
Ellen never called but Lance wasn’t a varsity coach for nothing. He knew she might not call and he wasn’t going to let such crazy talent slip out of his hands without a fight.
Eight days later he showed up at her workplace after doing some detective work of his own.
Ellen was surprised to be called into Dave’s office and find Lance there.
“Morning Dave, what’s the matter?” she asked curiously.
“Well Mr Devlin here wants to take you to America to play football. He says he made you an offer and you never got back to him, it’s up to you but I think you should hear him out. It’s not every day that you get a free ride at university doing something you love,” remarked Dave.
Lance then made his pitch; she would play football or soccer as it was known over there and get a full scholarship all expenses paid even if she was injured and an assurance of employment from the alumni should she not go pro after graduation.
Ellen listened politely until Mr Devlin was done.
She then asked Dave,
“You haven’t told him right?”
Dave shook his head.
“Told me what?” asked Lance.
“Mr Devlin I’m flattered but there’s something you should know. I wasn’t born a girl, I had a sex change,” said Ellen.
“Oh, I thought you were going to tell me you’re pregnant but that’s well surprising. Look let me make some phone calls and I’ll get back to you,” said Lance a bit taken aback.
He made his goodbyes and left.
“Well that’s the last I’ll see of him,” joked Ellen though inside she was hurting. Dave sensed this and tried to cheer her up.
“You’re still a lovely girl Ellen,” said Dave meaning it.
He remembered the forlorn teenager who’d applied for a job two years before. The person she’d grown to become was someone he admired and was quite fond of. Whatever people said about sex-swops Ellen was the walking example of why some people needed them. She’d blossomed in a way he doubted she’d ever have achieved had she stayed a boy and he was happy for her.
“Thank you Dave,” said Ellen gently. She’d always be grateful to this man for giving her the chance many would have denied her, Frank Hayes included.
They thought they wouldn’t see Lance Devlin again but two days later he returned triumphantly looking very excited.
Ellen was surprised to see him back because she was certain he’d been put off by her confession. In fact though he’d been taken aback he’d gone to check if transgendered girls were permitted to compete in women’s teams.
The answer was a provisional yes, they could compete after surgery and he was here to tell Ellen that, determined to sign her. She was the forward his team desperately needed and he would do anything to get her.
Ellen was stunned by this and she promised to consider it.
“Take it Ellen it’s a good deal and I know you’re working towards a degree, this will make it easier. Besides you don’t have anything tying you down here and if things don’t work out you’ve always got a job here,” Dave told her.
To be continued??
Norwich girl
By Sydney Moya
(c) 2012-2013
This work is the property of the author, and the author retains full copyright, in relation to printed material, whether on paper or electronically. Permission is granted for it to be copied and read by individuals, and for no other purpose. Any commercial use by anyone other than the author is strictly prohibited, and may only be posted to free sites with the express permission of the author.
Chapter two
Mr Devlin’s offer was too good to pass up, it wasn’t every day that someone offered you an all- expenses paid education in exchange for playing football as well as guaranteed employment after you were finished that education.
The more Ellen thought about it the more she came to realise she had nothing to lose; all she had was frankly a dead end job working in a sports shop. Sure Dave was a great boss but Ellen didn’t exactly see a future there in ten or so years.
This was a chance to get a university degree, something that wouldn’t hurt her in the long run. In fact it would probably widen her prospects in life. After all she was a woman and in the workplace she needed every advantage she could garner just to keep up with the guys.
Furthermore she had nothing in Britain, no family after her transition, no significant other or any close friends for that matter.
In the end her decision was a no brainer. Mr Devlin had returned a few days later and Ellen had given him her decision.
“So have you made up your mind yet?” he asked, almost impatiently. He was that eager to have her in his squad it made her smile.
“Well I thought it over and I’d love to go to the States with you,” she told him graciously.
Lance Devlin definitely did not look like a 50 year old granddad as he punched the air while Dave and Ellen smiled as they watched him.
Arranging the visas and passports was a lark and before Ellen knew it she’d packed up her meagre belongings, donating her furniture to charity and packing what she could ship off to the States. Two days before her departure Dave threw a farewell party at his house, all her teammates and colleagues pitched up and Ellen had a bit of fun carousing with the people she’d grown to appreciate in the time she’d been in London. A part of her couldn’t help but feel sad that her own family couldn’t share in her celebration let alone come to see her off. After what had happened with her father they had never been in touch, she supposed she was dead to them. She hadn’t bothered keeping in contact either, having gone the whole way her father would probably strangle her if he saw her let alone heard from her. It was better this way; she didn’t have to like it but that was life.
Another page was opened in her life as she boarded her flight to New England. It was Ellen’s first time on a plane which wasn’t at all surprising considering her lower middle class background and the fact that she’d never needed to use a plane either, after all the UK is a pretty small place, you can traverse it from North to South in a day and the few family holidays she’d taken were done using her dad’s old Escort and their caravan. All her school and football trips were by bus and train.
‘If they could see me now,’ she thought with a smile as she looked out of the window.
After an hour or so the novelty of being in the air had worn off and she’d dozed off watching an in-flight movie. Before she knew it a hostess was waking her up and telling her to prepare for the landing.
The immigration process went much too slowly for Ellen’s liking, it seemed that everybody and his brother had decided to use the airport at the same time as she had though she didn’t really mind being as excited as she was. She hadn’t felt this level of excitement since the run-up to her surgery; it was a similar kind of feeling rooted in the fact that she was building a future for herself. She was sad to leave Dave’s, he’d been very kind to her but other than that she was rather pleased at the unexpected turn her life had taken.
Having had to sacrifice a chance to play top-flight footie so she could be Ellen had been a huge ask and she’d resigned herself to never playing on a serious competitive basis again. A smile broke out on her face as she cleared customs and walked into the terminal where it widened when she saw Coach Devlin holding up a sign with her name on it. He was accompanied by a lady around his age a second after she spotted them they saw her and waved at her.
Ellen waved back as they moved towards her relieved her of the cart.
“Hello Ellen. Welcome to the USA, I’m glad you made it. Did you have a good flight?” Lance began.
“Yes sir, thank you for meeting me,”replied Ellen politely, burnishing that questionable British reputation for good manners.
“This is my wife, Sandy,” he told her.
“Hello ma’am,” said Ellen politely.
Sandy waved her off, “Please call me Sandy,”she insisted.
The Devlin’s told Ellen that she was to spend the night at their home as they didn’t want her to spend her first night in their country in a an empty dorm room. They also confessed to having an ulterior motive, that of having dinner with her so they could get to know each other better.
As you can guess Ellen had no objections to this, it wasn’t like she had anywhere to go as yet and as these were the only people she knew in the States at the time it made perfect sense.
The Devlin’s lived with their ten year old son Billy in a leafy suburban house that Ellen’s lower class background told her was much too big for a family of three. Billy hardly spared her a second glance as he was quite absorbed playing some Xbox game.
He only muttered a hurried greeting when pressed by his mother. Ellen was shown to the room allotted to her while she was a guest of the Devlin’s. Dinner was quite nice they had a well-cooked Thai curry and the elder Devlin’s went out of their way to ensure Ellen felt welcome in their home.
Sandy asked about her life in the UK and Ellen responded with a censored version of a childhood that didn’t include being born a boy or her father assaulting her. Sometime in the past year Ellen had decided that she was going to tell people on a need to know basis only. This was because she felt it would colour people’s perception of her if they knew she’d been a sufferer of GID.
She’d been upfront with Lance because he had a part to play in her life but she’d also let him know that she didn’t want anyone else in life to know about her before he’d left England. Part of her hoped that included Sandy. In this light she gave her hostess rather general answers as to her background which wouldn’t give her away as someone who’d had gender dysphoria and this seemed to satisfy Sandy somewhat.
“So what’s Norwich like?”asked Lance.
“It’s okay, not worldly but a nice place to grow up in and does have a few sights worth a visit,” she said.
“The churches?” he asked.
Ellen nodded, “I’m told their some of the loveliest in the country,” she told him.
“Hmm we should go there the next time we visit Alison,” decided Sandy before going off on a tangent and talking about her daughter which was a relief to Ellen as she didn’t want too much light shined on her past.
All in all it was a pleasant evening, instantly forgettable if it wasn’t for the fact that Lance was the catalyst for the sudden upsurge in her fortunes and when she went to bed she thanked her lucky stars he’d stopped to watch her that Sunday.
She was up early the next morning as was her wont for her early morning run. To her surprise she found her host was up too and he decided to use this opportunity to gage her fitness levels. They took a run together and before long he had her doing sudden sprints and stops, running at constant speed for certain lengths of time, in short putting her through her paces.
He was rather pleased with her fitness levels.
“This is pretty good Hayes, I suppose you do this daily,”he remarked.
“Yes sir,” replied Ellen.
“Well that’s good discipline, I don’t have to worry about you being behind the rest of the team,”said Coach Devlin.
“When is our first session?” Ellen asked the coach.
She still didn’t know much about the team she’d been recruited for and was quite nervous wondering if she still had it but though she would never voice it she was particularly worried about how she would fit into an all-female side.
Would her teammates quickly spot her as a tranny and ostracise her?
Though she’d transitioned, her life in London had not been in a female environment. There had only been three other girls in Dave’s staff of twelve and they’d just got along with her not that they’d been bosom buddies or anything. The guys at work had basically treated them as guys with boobs in her opinion. In the Sunday league there had been a few other girls around in different teams but it was an overwhelmingly male environment where she’d known due to lifetime of experience how to handle herself. Here soccer was just the opposite a female dominated sport and Ellen doubted her ability to fit in as she still didn’t have the slightest clue what girls her age were all about.
Were they princesses or tomboys?
Or were they ditzy WAGs or vain supermodels?
She’d never had a boyfriend or been kissed, her wardrobe wasn’t worth a second glance.
What would she talk about to them?
One thing she knew about women was they had seriously spooky intuition, she knew this from personal experience as she could always spot someone who was hiding something without too much thought. She hoped it wouldn’t work against her.
“We should start next week, I thought if you came across the pond earlier, a week would give you time to settle down some,” she heard the coach tell her.
Ellen spent that day with her hosts who graciously took her around the town. Dumont University was located in lovely New England town of Lyndhurst.
She found it a pretty relaxed place definitely not moving at the frantic pace of London but more like her home town, kind of homely. Dumont University itself was a on a sprawling campus with number of buildings some dating back two centuries and some as recent as the last decade. There were very few kids out and about and the ones that were there tended to be clad in sports uniforms. She guessed they had decided to get some early season training and the athlete within her yearned for some action as well. She was also eager to begin her lessons, after all that why she was here for, an education. Her classes were set to start in week too and she was enrolled for degree in Business with a specialty Sports Management thinking she might as well play to her strengths.
Two day later she moved into her digs, as a freshman she was housed in one of the dorms. At Dumont the residential halls were segregated via gender so she found herself in an all-female building. Boys were only allowed in up to 1900h and were not allowed upstairs were the rooms and showers were. Each person was allocated a room which they shared with another. There were communal showers on each floor. The dining hall was located in a building 800 metres away from her hall.
Most of the students began arriving that weekend which was when Ellen met her roommate, a fresh faced 17 year old Alison Hutchins straight off some Iowa farm. She’d just arrived from a stroll when she met a whole clan okay a family of four occupying her room.
“Hello,” she began uncertainly.
“Howdy,” replied a huge man who Ellen assumed was the dad.
“Hello,” said a much smaller lady.
“Hi,”said one girl shyly.
The teenage boys nodded at her before mumbling gruff hellos.
Here was an awkward silence for a few moments.
“How can I help you? This is my room,” she informed them.
“Oh, we’re the Hutchins’s,” said the apparent mom pushing her daughter forward, “Alison’s gonna be your roommate,” she added cheerfully.
“I’m Donna, that’s Robert and the boys are Trent and Teddy,” chirped Mrs Hutchins.
“Ted Mom, I’m not a bear,” protested the younger boy making Ellen fight to stop from grinning in wry amusement.
“Oh, welcome to Dumont I suppose,” Ellen said, “I’m Ellen Hayes,”
“Where are you from honey?” Donna queried.
“I’m from Norwich in England," said Ellen.
“Really, Alison you’re in luck honey, getting an overseas roommate,” said Robert, cheerfully obviously chuffed his girl would expand her horizons just by being here.
She chatted with them for a while before excusing herself as she could see the family wanted some time to see off their daughter.
Some people have all the luck thought Ellen thinking of her own situation, they have loving families, bodies they like and enough money to go to schools like this.
She realised she missed her family particularly Trish who she’d lived vicariously through and had sponged of loads of info about being a girl and she wondered what it would have been like to be sisters.
Richie too, was he still seeing his high school sweetheart, Dinah? Though she’d never told him she’d always been fond of him, he was a good guy and she wondered what he was doing these days. Probably sleeping in she smiled or having a kick about with his mates.
She sighed at the thought of her parents; she hadn’t got over her father hitting her that had hurt more emotionally than physically. Her dad had never hit her until that day.
Why couldn’t people just understand what it felt like to hate the sight of your own body to long to be different? She’d spent her whole life wanting to be a girl, it wasn’t a sudden spur of the moment thing and now the people she would have expected to have unconditional love for her had reacted like she was an axe-murderer and despite all she’d achieved it hurt.
Nothing would have made her happier than for her parents to have accepted her as their daughter with open arms but this was real life and not a bedtime story. On most days she didn’t spend her time worrying about the past but seeing the Hutchins' concern for Alison had touched a raw nerve. She hoped one day her parents would forgive her and maybe accept but that was as far-fetched as pigs flying.
Self-reliance was the name of the game; you couldn’t trust anyone but yourself and if people like Dave and Coach Devlin showed up don’t think everyone was like them, they were the exception rather the norm she reminded herself.
to be continued