By Misha Nova |
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You never know just who holds your key.
Some times acts of kindness and love have far reaching effects that echo and ripple through the lives of all that act touches. And then something magical takes place, A SHIFT HAPPENS
I had officially ended my shift when I stopped in at 306 to check on the new admittance. Poor kid was flight tested by some Fema-Nazis who pushed her down several flights of stairs. I was expecting a person like myself a bit rough around the edges, still struggling to become. But what I found instead is a beautiful young woman who's body is battered and a bit broken but her spirit is not. She is fully comfortable in her own skin and just who she wants to be.. The experience of her sharing spirit and loving nature shocked me to the core. Then unexpectedly a Shifted Happened in me “Something completely unexpected”. I was happy, hell I was humming. That hasn't happened in a very long time. “Focus damn you”, I whispered under my breath in empty seriousness. Empty because I COULD NOT be cross with anyone at this moment even myself. But I could not think about anything but how good it felt to be kissed and wanted by some one again especially by that particular wounded angel. To allow me some time to regain my composure I sent our new Aide Mary off to make sure that all of the patience's were visually checked. And to plump there pillows. I was able to do that nicely, and with a smile, which totally unnerved the kid. I do admit normally I can be quite sharp with the newbies, we are a Trauma ICU recovery floor no place for the weak of heart. A perfectly good nurse elsewhere could be completely a screw up when things got hot here. “'Damn me get my mind back onto my job.” This floor can be an extension of the trauma center below us when they overflowed , or if a patient suffers a set back. At that time it is up to us to keep the patient with us until we or the trauma team can stabilize them. There is no room for me to be all dreamy eyed, and zoned I have no excuse for acting like this. I know better! “Giggle stop it Michele,” So went my internal dialog. I have done things no average nurse would ever do. But most of these kids have never seen a front line in a war. Fortunately for my patients I have. My parents were missionaries and we got caught up in some very hairy circumstances especially in Peru . My family was there during an undeclared war and I had the opportunities, unofficially, to work with Doctor's with out Borders during my high school years. That training saved many lives, even those of my parents, it also showed me what I wanted to do with my life, When I went to nursing school in the states everyone was stunned at my medical knowledge and that I spoke French and several other languages. They were more stunned when I discovered that I was Trans. That discovery landed me here, in Canada where I was accepted enough so I could help people and be myself. A puff of cinnamon scented breath Startled me back to the here and now and shook me out of my “ thoughtful space 'O bother” I looked up into my charge nurse Samuel gazing face. He was staring directly in my face that Startled me back to the here and now “Earth to Wolfness, come in Wolfness.” I looked up into his deep green eyes' that no man had the right to have. “Yesss Ma Ma cat what have I done now.” “Oh nothing my trusty K9 Tonto, beside scaring the natives. That poor aid of yours is really spooked by you having that sloppy grin on your face. No one has ever seen you smile let alone hum. Soooo girl Whats up, dish.” Samuel was very sweet and we knew each other very well. I shifted into French as it was more expressive in what I could say. “Samuel what does my tote bag say on it.” Sam grinned “Shift Happens my love what ever that means? You Yanks have the strangest sayings.” “Sam I just had a gigantic epiphany and that shifted everything I understand about myself. You and Danny are my best friends but I need to understand this before I can really explain what just happened. But you folks will be the first who I tell when I do.” “Misha does this have anything to do with that patient I have seen you special-ing for? God she is so cute I would love to take her home and hug her for ever. And did you see the Goddess that is her friend wow that is some rarefied atmosphere they live in. Darling be careful not to get altitude sick.” “Sam get your head out of that one track rut you live in. It would be totally nonprofessional for me to get involved with a patient. You know that.” I was trying so hard to sound angry and innocent. “Misha child you are so transparent, and you would be ever so more believable if you could wipe that smirk off your face. You have to be more humane with your self, stop carrying that torch for Kathrine. That bitch dumped you and has moved on. Please before you hurt your self do the same. Find someone to break this ice you are frozen in. You are a lover my dear not a hermit. Live love and and learn to love again.” Sam put his soft hand on mine again looking me eye to eye “Your special baby don't let this one get away so think quickly then act decisively, seize the day. Now get out of here, the lecture is done and don't let me see you for at least two days. Go-Get- scat- now!!!.” Laughing at Ma Ma cat I made haste for the door before he forced me to take a vacation. UGGG. On my way out of the door I was ambushed by my friends from the ER who would not take no for an answer they were taking me out and I was going to have fun even if it killed me. All of this was under Samuels orders. I found my self sandwiched between Elena and Poppy with Jessica and Beth in the front seat. Jessica started by asking if we could use Elena's place to get dolled up for a pub crawl tonight. “What the hell guys I am to cheap of a drunk for this to be a good thing,” I have no party clothes and...” I never got the rest of it out before Poppy interrupted. “Will you please just shut up and relax we have this all under control, we have clothing and other essentials to get you ready for fun tonight you do not need to drive and according to Sam and the Personnel department you have no work for the next three days. You are officially on mercy leave so you have no good reason not to have fun... “.” “ That goof Sam knew this when he scatted me out didn't he, Why didn't he tell me then?” “Michele You would have hit him hard, you hate vacations, even when you need them. So shut up and take your medicine wolf, Dr Jacksons, your boss orders” Don't you just hate it when they’re right, it just burns my tail. So we all rode into the sunset heading to experiences unknowable. When I am done I am going to tell Danny and everyone that Sam likes the Spice Girls, that will fix his wagon. Then I will remind him that “Payback is a female dog or wolf in this case.” “Michele Get ready to Barbie up, we are giving this old frumpy hermit crab shell of yours the boot to the curb, you have so-- out grown it . “ I was handed some drink that kicked like a mule putting me in a very relaxed mood. The gang of four then jumped into action giving me a high speed work over like a formula 1 pit crew. I was in the dark not being allowed to see myself. There was a lot of joking around laughing and teasing. I was quickly learning the fine art of getting boozed and relaxed Canadian style. The buzz helped me just loosen up a bit so I could enjoy them working on my feet. I was shocked at how much fun everyone was having. I was their life sized Barbie Doll, an experience I never had before having my face worked over my eyes brows plucked my hands rubbed and my nails done. For the first time in my life I was experiencing what most 17 year old girls take for granted. I was floating in a sea of just being a girl with a tribe of other girls. I was in a state of bliss. My nails were done beautifully, my hair trimmed and styled into a casual but nice style. My eyebrows gently shaped and a touch of makeup. Add a cute clubbing outfit consisting of a cream colored peasant top with embroidered details, a just above the knee black silk skirt, a pair of dark tan stockings, a pair of black sandals. I was ready to go but Jessica stoped my procession by stating we were going out and not to work so I needed to accessorize with some brass and turquoise earings and necklace a wooden beaded bracelets a small leather purse. A spritz of Rare Gold Perfume then at last off we went. The ride over to the club was fun and very high energy. We were excited and there was a lot of giggling and joke telling. I never knew these girls were so funny, but again I never was around them off work. We arrived at the club from the back of the building where there was parking available. Somehow in the procession I ended up maneuvered into the front of our group so as soon as the door opened I was catapulted into the action. Just as I was swept in to the room an old Nattily Merchant tune started on cue. This was followed by a vocal that sounded like a tubercular, cat drowning in a bucket. I was in a karaoke club, and I knew I had been had. Poppy knew my love of singing and addiction to Karaoke. I had my own karaoke machine at home hidden in a closet. I also had 400 + disks more than many clubs have in their libraries. And the smiles on the girls faces showed that I was safe to assume Poppy skunked me out. We were directed to a booth on an upper level overlooking the dance floor and the stage. The sound of the cat expired and the crowd cheered and and the singer struggled off stage laughing obviously having had a very good time. The DJ cheered announcing that the contest for the worse singer had been won by the last singer hands down. Everyone was having fun and a good time, and that was the point of karaoke. To have fun even at your own expense. But my problem was this was my arena of challenge. I trained my voice to sound good as a women who can sing my heart out, and I was very afraid of making a prized donkey of my self. I always saw my self as the silver lining in the storm clouds of the other tonally challenged singers. When we arrived at our booth and got seated a round of drinks and finger food snacks arrived, along with Ma Ma cat and his partner of 30 + YEARS Danny a very passable lady boy who Sam married while in Thailand. My drink was like nothing like anything I ever had before it was green and fizzy. I could not place the taste but it was really good. I was between Poppy and Sam chatting about just how hard it was to trap me into this situation. “Misha darling Danny asked when do I get a chance to hear you sing Poppy tells us that your fantastic, I have awaited this forever.” “Danny I will do my best to get into the mood I never sang in front of this large of a crowd before.” “Misha just drink a couple of these gesturing to drink we both were sharing and relax a bit. Trust aunt Danny and we will get you in the mood you need to cut your self loose.” “ How many of you guys know about this Shanghai job, or should OR SHOULD I ASK, who does not know about this.” “Poppy looked at me and bluntly told me only the night janitors and the linen service.” “You think, added Sam. They have a pool that she will chicken out. I bet against them!” I could only shake my head and surrender to the fact tonight was my debut as a performer. Swim, or drowned like a cat in a bucket, it was going to happen. The night was peppered by all sorts of performers some Ok, some modestly good. Danny made sure I had a refill or two during the evenings entertainment. Then Poppy got up and did Fire And Rain by James Taylor and was invited to do a second number but declined. Sam and Danny did Me and You by the Turtles then when asked they did a cute song called Under My Umbrella by the Hollies. The two of them were cute and so much in love it made my heart ache. The next performer started around 11PM and was a very beautiful Asian woman who dripped of confidence. Her warm up song got my attention and even for her moderate height she had a spectacular voice that had more than a touch of soul to it. Her warm up song was Blue Bayou by Linda Ronstadt Blue Bayou by Linda Ronstadt I feel so bad I got a worried mind, Saving nickles saving dimes, I'm going back someday, Gonna be with some of my friends, Saving nickles saving dimes, I'm going back someday, Oh that boy of mine, Gonna take away, Her voice was sweet and full capturing the longing and the clear tones that Linda Ronstadt was noted for. I was really impressed by her skill and poise in holding the longer notes perfectly. Her phrasing was spot on and her stage presence was polished. Something occurred to me and I quickly scanned the room nearer to the bar and the rear entrance where I saw numerous pictures of this contestant showing her as the first prize winner from several big competitions in the past. By then she had finished her first number and the audience was showing their happiness with her performance. An over the sholder signal and the next song started up. One Tin Soldier Listen, children, to a story Go ahead and hate your neighbor On the bloody morning after who... So, the people of the valley Now, the valley cried with anger, Turn the stone and looks beneath it... Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and hate your neighbor Do it in the name of Heaven I remembered the movie Billy Jack and all the emotions it had for me when I was 10 years old. It was a turning point in my life and her singing the song brought it all back to me. I had a lot of the fire in my belly at that time before my life in the States kicked it out of me. I liked her performance I started to really like her. My memory flitted back to work this after noon. Jamie even broken as she was still held her fire of life and the passion, that fueled it. She was out and proud just being herself with no apologies, no whimpering. I on the other hand spent my time hiding and trying not to be noticed by others. Living in fear of being hit or hurt, I was running away from being myself even while fighting to be myself. I was out but not really living as if I was. I was proud of my accomplishments and hiding them at the same time and today I had my nose lovingly rubbed in this fact. I had a shudder run through me from my toes to my head. My eyes briefly watered and I gasped for breath by the suddenness and shock of my realization. My shift happened again in greater clarity and to a larger degree. I now saw that I needed to live and enjoy my life. I had only so much time to do this and I had already lived as a hermit for way to long. Then I had another flash of realization, where my life was crystal clear laying its self out in my mind like a museum of past and future still pictures where all of the dots connected with what I was feeling and experienced in my life. This flip picture book came up until this evening, in this seat, at this time, I knew everything in my life had lead up to this point in my life,this evening, and Now. All I had was to get up there on stage, then do what I know I can do. Sing for the joy of singing. When I finally came back into the here and now Everyone was up and cheering for our performer so I joined them in showing appreciation of a fine performance, I was being a little extra enthusiastic because of my realization. I was feeling no pain it was 11:15 I had had my third drink so I was loose enough with out being drunk to get up from the table and perform. I was feeling confident in my ability and my desire to make this now mine. Now is mine. Following the last act was a challenging one to follow. But if I was going to blow it loosing to her was no shame. I knew my first song was a warm up song and I needed a special one for that. I had been softly singing along during the other performers but not loud enough to stretch my lungs and gain my full range. Yeah I had a inspiration as I walked up to the stage and put in my request to the DJ. In a stroke of luck she had both songs I requested. First up was Blood Sweat and Tears - Spinning Wheel. Lucky that B.S.T. Lead vocal had a bit of a husky voice. It was also one of those songs that had a place for my rhythm vocals to really punch things out. It was just a fun song I hope to break the ice with, I cued the DJ with a 1-2-3 and went to work. Spinning Wheel By Blood Sweat and Tears What goes up must come down You got no money, and you, you got no home Talking about your troubles and you, you never learn Did you find a directing sign Someone is waiting just for you Someone is waiting just for you I had a blast playing with this one. This was my get out of a bad mood song and I had a performance already worked out for it. The crowd ate it up, they hooted and hollered at my campy dance performance as I worked the stage for all 6 feet square of it there was of it. That got people up and clapping at the end of the song, what impressed me the most was my main competition was clapping and cheering as well. I bowed to the crowd who yelled at me for another song, the loudest was from my peanut gallery who were up and shouting and bouncing in there seats like a bunch of kids at a park ride. When I came to the stage I planed to do a second number if I did not bomb the first. So my second song was Queued up by a grinning DJ who shouted at me to take no prisoners, Not understanding just what she meant I waited for the crowd to quiet down a bit before and I dedicated the song to a special wounded Angel Jamie who inspired me by her example to reach out and to take life by the horns. Then I starting the lead in vocalizations singing. River Of Dreams By Billy Joel In the middle of the night I walk down every evening and stand on the shore I go walking in my sleep I know I'm searching for something I’m not sure about a life after this I felt the words flow from inside my gut then out like a fountain. My emotions followed the words and they were real and the people around me rocked to my performance. I was being reborn. My soul was growing becoming free, blossoming. My voice felt so fluid and strong I was not trying to be a girl I was a giorl. My crazy and loving coworkers were going nuts singing and mouthing the words back at me Beth and Elena could be heard all the way up to the stage .
In the middle of the night So the song ended My high was out of this world I never experienced the energy feeding off of the exuberant audience. My coworkers were some of the loudest in the bunch. To my total surprise my competition came up to me and asked if I wanted to do a Duet. When I said yes I do , We chose Mockingbird by Carly Simon and James Tailor and Faith by George Michael. We were both keyed up and I took Carly's Part and my partner took James part. MOCKINGBIRD By Carly Simon & James Taylor Mock Everybody have you heard Hear me now and understand And that's why I keep on shoutin' in your ear Now, everybody have you heard Yeah if that mockingbird don't sing Listen now and understand No, no, no, no, no, no, no, now, now. baby The second round was taken by my partner with me being the echo. Our campy style and the jubilant crowd fed the energy we were putting out, making this a really fun number to perform. This was a great number to perform as it gave us a chance to feel out each others vocal style's and harmonies. We were very lucky that our ranges overlapped and she was really skilled in working around what I did not know about singing. The DJ only gave us a few moments to jump from the our last song into the next which kept out momentum up for the performance but it did strain my voice a little, another trick to learn. We worked this like a call and response with joint parts like the choruses sung together. FAITH By George Michael
Hers Well I guess it would be nice My part But I've got to think twice Joint Oh but I Need some time off from that emotion 'Cause I gotta have faith... Hers Baby I know you're asking me to stay Mine You mean every word you say Joint Before this river Oh baby I reconsider Yes I've gotta have faith.. The energy was so thick you could drink it like water but it kicked like whiskey. The two of us girls hugged and my cohort Seala told me she wanted to exchange contact information so I nodded and indicated where we were seated. The DJ announced that the competition was now closed and the voting slips were to be turned in before last call in 15 minutes My partners in crime from work made it up to me through the croud and helped me back to our table. I was really wobbly on my feet and a bit dizzy. The DJ started her patter for the bar and the fast approaching last call. When we were back at our table and seated I was handed a tall glass of water and a new Green Fuzzy Whatever. I was flush and out of breath like I had ran a long race but at the same time I was excited and as happier than I remember since being a kid at Christmas. We got back to my table and I slid in next to Danny who was all aglow and chattering with Ma Ma Cat. Both turned to me with big smiles. Beth and Elena were up talking to people they knew. “Misha why did you not tell me you could sing kid, I thought Poppy was just pulling my leg.” Sam bubbled then Danny chirped good God girl you rock, where did you learn to do that.” Poppy was quick to jump in, “Danny she is obsessed with singing by herself at home. She has a huge library of karaoke disks and her own machine.”
“Are you that afraid of bring noticed Misha that you hide your talent away, I feel so sorry for you doing that. No woman should hide her beauty especially girls like us it can lead us to become spirit sick.” Danny admonished me. “No chance of that happening again” Poppy quipped with a chuckle, “The video we up loaded to my site has already had 200 hits in just these few minuets, by morning she should be well on the way to becoming a viral hit.” Without thinking I blurted out “Poppy please tell me that you didn't do that. I thought you were my friend. ” “Misha I am that is why I DID that I needed some insurance THAT others could see just how good I know you are so you can not run away and hide” “Poppy I can't be that good oh God was I that bad.” “Misha” Danny shouted “you were that fantastic, I have seen acts in Rome, from Paris in Vegas and you two could hold an audience just as well as those overstuffed heavy weights. You are a natural.” “Misha my love why would you think I would up load this if you were not great” Poppy was intensely looking me in the face “ I love your singing you have been working so hard you need a little help to get moving.” Just then my singing partner Seala walked up and we made room for her at our table. “Hi Seala these are my coworkers my charge nurse Samuel and his lovely partner Danny. The women next to me is my tormenter and best friend Poppy. Next is Jessa she works ER trauma down stairs with Beth the tall red head and Elena that statutes blond standing next to her at the bar.” “Wow you have your own cheering section I am honored to meet you all. But you Misha Lady where did you learn to sing like that and where have you been hiding.” “Wow how do I put this, I am self taught I love to sing at home and I never sang like this with anyone before except at camp outs and folk fests. I am a trauma recovery nurse so I can’t hide very well but I work a lot, it's just a lark that I am here tonight with the conspiracy of all these well meaning people tricking me and my Personnel office threatening me with a vacation.” “In my years of singing and working this type of venue Misha I never have meet any one with such a stage presence as you have. Your passion just lit up this whole room. And you were just hacking around having fun. I am frightened at what you would be like and what you could do if you were serious.” “What are you talking about I am a good nurse but what you are saying does not make any sense, how can I be that good.” “Ma Ma Cat to Wolfness, you are a great nurse but you are a better singer and a greater performer stop selling yourself short for Gods sake. You are a person of many gifts and talents and Seala here knows talent, I have known her for 15 years and her studio has produced a large number of breakout and start up hits. And before you say it yes by God I set you up, because I love you kid, and you deserve more out of life than you have gotten so far. Also by the way shut your mouth you look like a guppy.” The entire table broke out in laughter I was laughing so hard I lost my breath and had to be slapped between my shoulders by Danny to jump start my breathing. Hey kid don't die on me now your ship has just came in. Choking out the last of my mirth when Seala spoke. “Michele my dear I have a studio that I want to get you into so we can work with that voice of yours. My equipment is state of the art and I have a voice coach that has an ear that is scary good and she would adore your voice. I just can't see allowing your talent to go to waste because you lack the resources.” Poppy grinned ear to ear then pumped the air with her arm. “HaZaa for you girl no more mixing sounds in your bathroom and coat closet.” My face went flush at the memory but my head was nodding like a demented bobble head doll. “Yes I would love that I always wanted to work with a spectrum analyzer and see what is causing my frequency drop out at”... At that time Seala put op her hands to stop my run away train excitement. “Woo girl you are all over this, I will leave the technical end to my sound engineer, the two of you can talk Scottie all you want. I just know you have talent, heart and stage presence, which is a really good mix for performers. The thought of being able to work in a studio was so exciting to me Poppy told me she thought I was going to blow up like the drummers in Spinal Tap. The first winner were announced the worst performance went to the lady who I heard when I first came in. She was given a cutely small golden bucket with some paper musical notes hanging out of it Seala had to use the little girls room Poppy and Danny went with her I was in a state of shock at my good luck so it took a few moments to notice Sam looking at me with a bit of a contemplative look on his face. “Ma Ma kat you look like the cat that got the catnip ball for Christmas. I want to thank you for being such a good friend, and for setting me up regardless where this goes.” “Gee don't I feel like the old master in Kung Fu setting my student off on there life's walk. Just understand one thing in all seriousness, If you get a good offer and don't take it. I will fire you, I can't have a stupid person working for me, to much liability.” “Sam how can I leave on a selfish lark like this, when I am making a difference saving lives . That's the bigger purpose here” “Michele what about your life, and saving that, if you won't or can't do that how can I trust you with the lives of other people. Something you do not know about me is my time in Thailand was because I nearly dropped the ball on myself. I was to close to checking my self out permanently all over a temporary problem. Danny was the one who saved me. She was my wake up call, my Jamie. I need to tell you, tonight was not a cheap trick to get you to have some fun but a necessary intervention, to put your little Train back on it's track. You are to close to burning out or breaking down to do nothing. Personnel had no choice but to give you some time off . Either that or my ethics would have forced me to let you go” I love Sam he is the best supervisor I ever had. He can be funny or as serious as a heart attack. But you always knew what was what. I was ashamed to admit it but he was right I was in really sad shape emotionally. In the few minutes it took to tell me this I had lost track of what was going on around me so having every one of our party in front of our table caused me to jump a bit. “Michele Poppy gentlily touched my arm, I think these folks have something to tell you.” “Seala was holding a trophy and smiling as she announced to the crowd using a microphone.” “Michele as the queen with the longest line of victories in this bars history it is my great honor to award you the first place trophy for the most stunningly original performance I have seen in my reign here. I GIVE TO YOU MY PUBLIC QUEEN MICHELE. “There is no dishonor to loosing to you as you are the better performer tonight. Long Reign Queen Michele” Oooo S tore H igh In T ransit what do I do now.????? Authors NOTE:My gratitude and thanks goes to Bailey Summers and her generosity in allowing me to play in her sandbox of Absinthe Opium and Honor.
I'm so lonesome all the time,
Since I left my baby behind,
On Blue Bayou.
Working till the sun don't shine,
Looking forward to happier times,
On Blue Bayou.
Come what may,
To Blue Bayou,
Where the folks are fine,
And the world is mine,
On Blue Bayou,
Where those fishing boats,
With their sails afloat,
If I could only see,
That familiar sunrise,
Through sleepy eyes,
How happy I'd be.
Gonna see my baby again,
Maybe I'll feel better again,
On Blue Bayou.
Working til the sun don't shine,
Looking forward to happier times,
On Blue Bayou.
Come what may,
To Blue Bayou,
Where the folks are fine,
And the world is mine,
On Blue Bayou,
Where those fishing boats,
With their sails afloat,
If I could only see,
That familiar sunrise,
Through sleepy eyes,
How happy I'd be.
By my side The silver moon,
And the evening tide,
Oh some sweet day.
This hurting inside,
Well I'll never be blue,
My dreams come true,
On Blue Bayou.
(Dennis Lambert, Brian Potter)
That was written long ago
'Bout a kingdom on a mountain
And the valley folk below
On the mountain was a treasure
Buried deep beneath a stone
And the valley people swore
They'd have it for their very own
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of Heaven
You can justify it in the end
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgment day
One tin soldier rides away
Sent a message up the hill
Asking for the buried treasure,
Tons of gold for which they'd kill
Came an answer from the kingdom,
With our brothers, we will share
All the secrets of our mountain,
All the riches buried there
Mount your horses, draw your sword!
And they killed the mountain people
So, they won their just reward
Now, they stood beside the treasure
On the mountain dark and red
Peace on Earth was all it said
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Do it in the name of Heaven
You can justify it in the end
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgment day
On the bloody morning after who...
One tin soldier rides away
Go ahead and cheat a friend
You can justify it in the end
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgment day
On the bloody morning after who...
One tin soldier rides away
spinning wheel got to go round
Talking about your troubles it's a crying sin
Ride a painted pony
Let the spinning wheel spin
Spinning wheel, spinning all alone
Ride a painted pony
let the spinning wheel turn
on the straight and narrow highway?
Would you mind a reflecting sign
Just let it shine within your mind
And show you
the colors that are real
spinning wheel is spinning true
Drop all your troubles, by the river side
Catch a painted pony
On the spinning wheel ride
spinning wheel is spinning true
Drop all your troubles, by the river side
Ride a painted pony
Let the spinning wheel fly
I go walking in my sleep
From the mountains of faith
To the river so deep
I must be lookin' for something
Something sacred i lost
But the river is wide
And it's too hard to cross
even though I know the river is wide
I try to cross to the opposite side
So I can finally find what I've been looking for
In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the valley of fear
To a river so deep
I've been searching for something
Taken out of my soul
Something I'd never lose
Something somebody stole
I don't know why I go walking at night
But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore
I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life
Until I find what it is I've been looking for
(Three beat Pause)
In the middle of the night
Through the jungle of doubt
To the river so deep
Something so undefined
That it can only be seen
By the eyes of the blind
In the middle of the night (break)
God knows I've never been a spiritual man
Baptized by the fire, I wade into the river
That is runnin' through the promised land (Long Five beat Pause)
I go walking in my sleep
Through the desert of truth
To the river so deep
We all end in the ocean
We all start in the streams
We're all carried along
By the river of dreams
In the middle of the night
(yeah)
ing
(yeah)
bird
(yeah)
yeah
(yeah)
Mockin-bird,
now
He's gonna buy me a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird don't sing
He's gonna buy me a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring won't shine
He's gonna surely break this heart of mine
And that's why I keep on tellin' everybody
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, uh, oh
He's gonna find me some piece of mind
And if that piece of mind won't stay
I'm gonna find myself a better way
And if that better way ain't so
I'll ride with the tide and go with the flow
Say yeah, yeah whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, uh, oh
She's gonna buy me a mockingbird
She's gonna buy me a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring won't shine
Yes, it'll surely break this heart of mine
And there's a reason why I keep on tellin' everybody
Say yeah, yeah no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
She's gonna find me some piece of mind
Yeah if that piece of mind won't stay
I'm gonna get myself a better way
I might rise above, I might go below
Ride with the tide and go with the flow
And that's the reason why I keep on shoutin' in your ear...
If I could touch your body
I know not everybody
Has got a body like you
Before I give my heart away
And I know all the games you play
Because I play them too
Time to pick my heart up off the floor
And when that love comes down
Without devotion
Well it takes a strong man baby
But I'm showing you the door
Say please, please, please, don't go away
You say I'm giving you the blues Maybe
Can't help but think of yesterday
And another who tied me down to lover boy rules
Becomes an ocean
Before you throw my heart back on the floor
My foolish notion
Well I need someone to hold me
But I'll wait for something more
Faith faith faith.
you gotta have faith
faith faith faith
gotta have faithEnd Part One
Continued in Part 2 ‘Shift Happens “More Please” ‘
Story by Misha Nova
Edited and Posted by SamanthaK
Shift HAPPENS
Part 2 - More Please By Misha Nova |
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After last night's sing off, Michele's life is about to radically change for the better - she just does not know it yet.
And in the end, she will understand her choices:
either to crawl into her shell again
or stand up and say...MORE PLEASE.
And a big thank you to Bailey Summers for her allowing me to play with her character Jamie from A O H. ~Misha
Lyrics Credits: Rod Stewart - Faith of the Heart Lyrics, Miley Cyrus - The Climb Lyrics.
Image Credit: José N. Harris - Time .
I was excited but out of it when we were at the club. The focus and energy from performing waned a bit, as did my balance from drinking. I felt like I was walking on a ship during a storm. It occurred to me that I needed to get out of the shoes I was wearing, as I was struggling to stand. Poppy decided to help me in case I needed help in removing my shoes.
Poppy told Michele, “Michele my girl, you look to be a little tipsy. You might want to sit down a bit until you get your bearings back and take those neck breakers off.”
After Poppy eased me into our booth, I removed my shoes. While removing my shoes it occurred to me why wearing heels and drinking is a bad idea. Poppy added, “Michele, real girlfriends don’t let their friends walk drunk in heels."
Having no experience with being drunk, I needed the help. The manager of the club gave me another stiff drink along with some prize money. Immediately, Poppy and Danny took control of my silly self. Before I started to drink the last drink given to me, Danny stopped me.
Michele said to Poppy, “I think I need to sit the rest of the evening out. Gads, things are so wobbly and I am so fuzzy, I can’t see or think straight?
Michele then asked Danny “Danny be honest with me. Is it me, or is the room rolling a bit?
“Girl, a word from a wise friend, before you get yourself stupid from drinking, I think you need to stop. From what you have already drunk, it is going to have a steadily increasing effect on you.” Danny replied.
“Oh good grief Danny, what have I done? I am so sorry to be embarrassing you in public. First I act as if I can sing, then get drunk. What’s next? No, no, I do not want to know. I need to get home before I do something bad.” Michele stated.
“Let’s get you home, my misbehaving angel. You’re still a long way from phoo pah. Sam and I still have that record from when we me in Thailand.” Danny said in a low voice. Sam then chuckled and added, “Oh those were the days, and they were fun, but thank God they ended. It would have killed me if they didn’t. Michele my love, you are only modestly off kilter and between friends it is nothing, so chill out and relax. We’ll keep you safe and modest.”
That got me to ease up on myself a bit. While we were walking to the car, I was able to walk a relatively straight line. I believe Mark Twain put it best, when he commented in a story about a drunken person falling down a set of weaving stairs, “God pity the sailor out on a night like this.” By the time we arrived home, I was full sail into the gale, and having a little problem walking up my set of weaving stairs. It was late in the morning, about 3 a.m. and it took Poppy’s assistance to get me on my couch.
My confusion at waking up on the couch wrapped up in my Santa Fe blanket wasn’t too bad. The sight of a trophy on the coffee table was the real shocker. It brought back the memories from last night to me. There sitting on the table was the physical evidence from last night ensuring it was not a fantasy.
The morning after the night before, saw the six conspirators in a multiple lined phone and internet huddle. Sam and Danny were pulling their end of ‘Operation Remember This’ talking to Poppy who was getting Betty, Jessa, and Elena ready to be picked up. Seala was Skyping for directions to Michele’s condominium.
“With the distractions of Poppy and posse, and Seala can keep her busy in the studio until Danny's set up is complete. Michele will be clueless until she comes back down stairs.”
“Sam” Seala inquired, “what time should clueless me be ready?”
Sam answered, “Seala my dear, you are never clueless, only uniformed for your protection. I will call you about 15 minutes before I collect you around 1 p.m. But, depending on other timings on our end, that time may shift a bit, so I will text you about any changes.”
Sam told Poppy, “you should show up around 1 p.m. or there about. I want to give our poor darling a chance to wake up and eat something light before we descend on her sanctum. Everything will go pear shape if we do not pull this part off correctly. Let’s set our watches to 9:00 a.m. Mark now!”
Poppy, Sam and Danny all sung out 'done' as they have so many times in the past performing some coordinated activity together. The others just giggled at there perceived silliness.
“Sam, what’s with the James Bond act?” Elena asked, and then said, “I think you love playing spy too much.”
“Elena my dear child, in my younger days, I would have been able to catch and seduce agent Bond if he ever existed. That was when I was with the government Special Ops. Bond stands out like a neon sign to a real field operative. Our life was based on blending in and just being like everyone else. Not flashy and too pretty to be believed.” Sam replied.
“You were a Mountie, Sam. I can’t believe that you were Nell or Dudley horse.” Betty chortled.
“He did play Nell a couple of times during operations and his partner was hung like the horse”, Danny interjected. “Yes, he was an important part of the department, acting as a coordinator communications, intelligence gathering, medic and so many other hats, his boss called him Swiss Army knife operative. He even turned a high-level Russian agent who fell in love with his Nell personality. She was heartbroken to find out that Sam was a gay guy, not a trans girlfriend. She is the one who put Sam and me together when Sam ran off to Thailand. She still sends us Christmas cards and we get together every now and then when she is down from the Yukon’s.”
“Sam, what the hell does she do up in the Yukon’s?” Poppy asked.
Smiling, Sam speaking in a fake Russian accent, “She and her boss Boris, chase moose and squirrel, that’s what. Now back to work.”
My dreams were jumbled and a bit weird. The dream I remember was a debate between the two sides of my selves. This is an old cold war buried very deeply. This time though, it was very funny. There was my conservative self-speaking in Shakespearean verse, all stilted and formal in a pentatonic verse. Then there was my goofy free loving hippie self and she was battering back in free verse. “Fer Sure”. The two juxtaposed, were hysterical to hear, and spotlighted just how torn I was over the situation. Wow, I need to find out just what was in those drinks last night to give me such vivid dreams.
I was able to pry myself out of my bed and into the shower around 11:30 a.m. I had to let the fancy showerhead pound me back to life with its 100,000 pulsating massaging streams. After about 15 minutes, I became pro-too human but capable of speech.
My home phone started ringing while I was in the shower. I got out in time to answer and I saw that Ma Ma Cat was calling, which put me in a good mood. A spontaneous funny bone response came out when I answered. I said in a monotone:
“City morgue, you kill them, we chill them, you stab them, we slab them, stiffly speaking.”
Sam cracked up making all the funny sounds he makes when he finds something super funny. “Michele”, as he started to recover a bit, “O God, Michele, I wanted to see if you are all right after last night.”
Michele replied to Sam, “Ma Ma Cat, I am a bit blank about last night so let’s not go there. And I don’t want any regalement about how funny I was to be singing at a bar. Especially from the skunk whose idea it was to go there and whose wife got me plowed enough to howl in public.”
“Michele, you howled beautifully last night. The crowd voted you the best and what is more important is Seala knows talent when she sees it, and you got talent kid.” To that, I groaned loudly enough to get Sam to laugh again. “Michele my lass, get some coffee, eat something simple like toast. You need some time to wake up. Then go and see your performance on Poppy’s Facebook page. That will bring it all back. TTFN.” My first thought after he hung up was ‘another fine mess I got myself into.’
My automatic coffee maker dutifully made me a pot of coffee, which drew me into the kitchen. The coffee was dark enough to be tar sand, so it had to be Poppy that made it. I drank it anyway.
By 10:30 a.m., Poppy was getting Betty, Jessa, and Elena their coffee at a local coffee internet Café as they chatted about Michele’s lack of birthday celebrations.
“Who can forget their birthday?” rang out from Betty and Elena, who often spoke at the same time saying nearly the same thing. Both Poppy and Jessa were quiet for a moment, setting the mood to somber. Poppy started to explain:
“None of us know the total story except Ma Ma Cat. But from what we know, a real tragedy uprooted Michele’s family. After living in some sort of religious prison camp, Michele returned to the States when she was 17, and forced to fend for herself with little to no contact with her parents who remained out of country in protective custody. That was twenty-four years ago. Someone has blocked Michele from going back to the States under some agreement. Michele was forced to sign with the State Department forcing her to live outside of the U.S., so her parents could come back home to the U.S. for medical treatment. It’s voluntary, getting around their Constitutional rights. And it is legally binding until the State Department changes its mind.”
Jacklyn continued, “Her father died five years ago and was buried by the Franciscans, the Catholic order the family worked for doing missionary work. A different order that has custody of Michele’s mother would not let her go to the funeral, claiming they were protecting her health. Michele could not get even a mercy passport to be there, due to National Security Issues not disclosed bullshit. Michele’s mother seldom gets to talk to her over the phone and her calls are monitored by the clergy.”
“Long story short of this, Michele was never able to get passed lousing about her parents whom she loves immensely. The family always made a big thing out of every ones birthday. So when they separated Michele stopped celebrating her birthday. It has been so long, she appears to have forgotten how to, and she gets all stiff and sharp with everyone around this time of year.
Ya, Elena piped in, she went all ‘Major Houlihan’ on Mary last week for something small. So when Mary saw Michele smiling and humming to herself, she told me, “Margaret must have gotten laid.”
Poppy laughed so hard, coffee came out of her nose, and Jessa was patting Poppy on her back trying to help. There was knowing glances between the people at the table leaving much unsaid.
Elena continued, “I never knew Michele was so talented and funny to be around when she lets her hair down. Who could have known that personality was buried under her work personality?”
“Elena”, Poppy cut in, “you need to know Michele first started medical training in a war zone when she was 11. Her family worked as missionaries and Narc-O-Lords, and then rebels were attacking the area they worked in. Her family was always being caught in the middle, and had to help the ‘Doctor’s Without Borders’ to save lives. This type of stuff was a normal part of their people’s lives, so Michele as she grew up became a sort of medic out of necessity.”
“Wow, it’s good to know that about her! That explains a lot of why she is so intense about things. She must be a classic text book PTSD customer.” Betty stammered.
“Betty, let me be blunt,” Jacklyn spoke. “PTSD revolves around an event or a closely group of events. Michele’s life was in a combat zone. Her family could not escape because of poly-ticks. They started in Belize, but could not leave, so they kept moving south and deeper into the mountains, until they ended up in Peru back in the middle of nowhere. In that area, they became a bit of a legend in there, continuing support of the peaceful locals. Michele’s God Parents were local Inca medicine people who stayed with the family from Belize to Peru. Then Michele and her parents were rendition to Brazil for their protection.” Jacklyn continued. “When she was returned to the U.S.A., she was able to get into a fast track high school program, gaining a lot of momentum before she went into trauma nursing as a specialist. She graduated when she was 23. She worked as a nurse for a couple of years when the deal was cut to get her parents back into the States, forcing her to move to Canada. Here she met Samuel and Danny who sort of adopted her while she was retraining to work with the Canada medical system. Poppy met her about the same time, as she was becoming a RN after being a LPN in the States. I met Michele when Samuel and Michele, then Poppy hired in here about 7 years ago. Wasn’t it Poppy?
Poppy answered, “About that time for me I think. Michele and Ma Ma Cat have been here for at least 8 years and change. Adding, Michele is tough and by the book for a reason, it saves lives. Death is her nemesis, and I personally know of at least 8 patients that she shepherded back to life from the valley of death. That is only part of the reason all of us are doing what we are doing to help her. She has given so much of her life saving other people, now it is time for her to be helped by other people”. Of anyone we know Poppy gestured to Jacklyn, “she has earned that right. She deserves your respect as well girls,” Poppy stated at Betty and Elena, “and you can take that to the bank.”
There was a chiming of Poppy's phone signaling that they needed to get on the road.
There were a few things to gather before they needed to be in position.
I was finishing my toast and third cup of coffee when at 1 p.m. sharp, at my door, arose such a clatter I sprung from my spot to see what is the matter. Then what to my wondering bloodshot eyes did appear, four clamoring workmates who were not very clear. God, what was in those drinks!
Three of them blurted out at once, so all I heard was loud gibberish. The best I could manage was a blank stare of incomprehension. I yelled, then winced at the volume of my own voice,
“Quiet you guys!! Why do you insist to ruin my perfectly good hangover? If you will promise to be QUIET, I will let you in.”
Jacklyn came up behind the three stooges, calm as usual, musing, “Never send the cheerleaders in to wake up the dead, as the perky makes the deceased cranky.”
I said, “Jacklyn, you are always the voice of reason amidst your pack. Now I need someone to please tell me why you’re all here.”
Interrupting, Poppy jumped in, “We are here to help you celebrate your success on YouTube. Your and Seala video, has gotten a lot of hits and positive comments since last night.”
While Poppy was booting up my edutainment system, Jacklyn and Betty looked around my condominium.
Betty asked, “Michele, are we on Paradise Island, and where is wonder woman? The fountain by the door, the gossamer curtains, is this your Fortress of Solitude?”
“Betty, yes it is. But part of this is the original decoration done by my Aunt, the first owner of Casa Del Solitude. Aunt Clara had a thing for the classic Greek female goddess thing.”
“I moved here from the States to take care of her for the last five years she was alive.”
After I can get my poop in a group, I will give you the $2 tour.”
Within moments, I was watching a video of Seala and my entire performance, all in 58-inch super high definition. Someone made a video mosaic from Poppy’s I pad, and several other people’s cell phone, and Tablet’s uploads. This gave the effect of different camera angles, capturing our showmanship and adding a pro touch. From what I could see, both of us had solid outing. Seala’s being smoky and sophisticated, complementing my emotional and edgy. The combined effect created an excellent ensemble act. We did together what was not achievable alone. Even as strangers we were able to in a flash, create an electrifying audience pleasing performance.
Because I was on stage wrapped up in the totality of the formula, I did not notice the individual reactions until I witnessed them now. Reaction to Seala’s performance was tempered by the fascination with me being both new and good! I was embarrassed and confused by what I had just seen, the video brought back all of the memories and sensations I felt during the performance. I could feel my voice in my chest reacting to each pulse of the songs, and every emotion I was expressing. I was lost as to what to say at the end of the show. The entire video was almost an hour long, including both of our solo performances, the duets, the effects, comments, and embellishments.
I felt my face blush so badly, it felt like a torch. But honestly, I had to admit, it was a good show. By the way we worked the stage, both of us looked liked a hot Vegas act. Seala was smooth, and provokingly sexy. I was a fire burning up the stage.
“See Michele, we were not pulling your leg or teasing you last night. The two of you were fantastic, not just good.”
That unexpected voice whispered in my ear caused me to yelp and jump. There stood Sam and Seala who had slipped in when I was fascinated by the video. Both were grinning and giggling to themselves. Sam was the only one who could do this to me. I hated it when he does that.
“Ma Ma Cat, you goof, you’re the only one who can do that, and it bugs the shit out of me.
“Yes, Wolfness, Yes I am, and I am your big brother, so it’s my job to keep you honestly on your toes.”
Seala looked at me with amused eyes, “is it always like this between the two of you?”
We both answered yes at the same time, Seala just laughed.
“I think this is going to be a strange or wonderful relationship. I need to know which one of you is strange and which one is wonderful.” Everyone laughed at that.
By now, my stomach started to rumble asking for more food than the toast provided and it already moved on. “Haay guys, anyone else hungry? I need a refill of coffee and food, a lot of both.” I started to get up to pull something together in the kitchen when Jacklyn who had a fresh cup of coffee and a bear claw intercepted me.
“You need to be showing your studio. We will take care of brunch for you.” Sam said.
Just then there was a very loud noise from my kitchen followed by Sam saying, “sorry my bad.”
I yelled, “Sam, that better not be my omelet pan.”
Seala asked me, “What’s happening, has everyone gone south in their head?”
“Yes, yes, they have my friend.”
“Michele, let these kooks do their thing, while you be my tour guide to your place.”
A moment later, we were in my studio. My condominium was a conversion of an old Victorian mansion, and my top floor unit was the quirky one, using the strangely shaped areas on the third floor and some of the parts of the fourth floor unfinished attic. So, I have an odd floor plan allowing me to use space creatively. My studio was in the attic, which had an unfinished walk in closet I use for my isolation room. I had a few odd instruments, some of them antique. I also have an oddball collection of equipment on various racks lining the walls, showing off a motley patchwork of home brew and modified consumer components.
Seala looking around bemused, examining my Foley stage, and the oddball collection of microphones, that I purchased over the years. I even have an old broadcast microphone from the 1920’s, the type Orson Welles used to perform the ‘War of the Worlds’.
Pointing at that one, Seala asked, “Is that what I think it is?”
“Yep, it was one of the first ones I got while I lived down south as a kid. I was about 11 when an old radio station had upgraded their setups, so they did not need the old relic they had in the closet. Thank goodness, they had the equalizing box and power supply. When I helped them clean out the closet the manager gave it to me with some other equipment as payment for helping him clean up the station.”
Seala asked, “Why would you want this? They had a weird sound to them. You can’t use them for modern singing or anything.”
“Haay girl, I use it for my Foley work and for the voice over effects when I make audio books for the blind. Their hearing is so much sharper, so the different frequency response adds to the color and mood of the work. One time, this old timer emailed me telling me the exact model number and series that my different equipment was.”
“Michele, this is your toy room, where you let yourself play and have fun. Good grief, some of this stuff had to cost a bundle when it was new.”
“Yes, it is my adult sandbox where I play and have fun. None of this cost much, all of it was cheap. I found things at flea markets, people’s attics, wherever I find them. I had to repair a lot of them. I learned that from my dad, who was a ham radio sparky. To be honest, I don’t have too much cash invested in it. Most of this I pulled together in college when I was in the drama club. They needed people to do tech work and I was interested. My parents were Franciscan Missionaries, so we were poor. I was working my way through school and had less money. I love sound and I was not going to let that stop me from having my tunes. This was a way I could afford my passion, and it is different enough from nursing that doing this allows me to unwind.”
Seala responded, “Samuel is right, you are a multifaceted personality. I have an engineer who would love to see this, wow; you must have so much vintage stuff here. However, when I look around here, I see a lot of effort pointed out ward. What do you do for your inner self?”
Arching my eyebrows, I gestured to my sound booth, “well, let me show you.”
Walking over to the console, I powered things up and called up the latest set up on my computer. “This is my latest project I am trying to become proficient at.” I went into my booth and got comfortably in position, then cued the start up sequence, and enabled the studio monitors. The start up sequence allows me time to warm up my voice before the real work begins. Seala took a stool from the other room and got comfortable.
Cueing the song, I nailed the first phrase sweetly on the mark. I know the song it is mine. I know how I wanted it to sound, but even more important; I felt the meaning of the words. They move me and that is what came out.
Faith of the Heart Lyrics
Rod Stewart
It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near
And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothing's in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me back
Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend nor break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart
It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I finally have my day
And I will see my dreams come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No there not gonna change my mind
Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend nor break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
Faith of the heart
I've known a wind so cold and seen the darkest days
But now the winds I feel, are only winds of change
I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain
But I'll be fine
Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend nor break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend nor break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart
It's been a long road
I was smiling, but with a tear in my eye from the emotions, the song brings out from my soul. Seala was soundlessly applauding from outside my booth. Coming out, she simply walked up to me and embraced me with a big hug.
“My friend, you gave me such a gift just now! I love the way you can let loose, and put out into the air around you that emotion you are feeling through the song. It is not just a good song, you transmit your emotions through that song, honestly, only a few artists can reach for, fewer get it, and you got it. Wow! Tell me why you did not believe you can sing, and why it has taken you so long to go out and play?”
Answering from the door to the studio, Poppy’s voice interjected, “Because she is scared of being made fun of, or being laughed at. When she sings like that it is so wonderful to hear, but that is when she is completely emotionally vulnerable, and fragile. This has been a secret hideaway from the cruel world for her. The one place she allows herself to let go. But it is still a cage, one that prevents her from sharing this great gift. I never once doubted that she has great talent. I am worried for her. Does she have the strength to stand up to the scrutiny by the rest of the public? The type of inquiring minds who want to know, pursue gifted people with.”
Swifter than I could follow, Sam poked his head in the door and in a June Cleaver voice informed us, “Foods on kids, let’s eat now. Go wash your hands and face. You can play more after you eat.”
I was lucky my face was away from everyone because I was mortified by both Poppy’s bluntness, and Seala’s complements. My head was swimming trying to grapple with the idea that I had what it took to be a performer. I shut the major equipment down, quieted the lights, and then went out with the others.
Coming into the living room, I was shocked to find a crowd had gathered. All cheered when I came into the room. There had to be another fourteen people in my living room all cheering my entrance. Samuel walking into the center of the room pulled out a pitch pipe, and then with a flourish, cued up Happy Birthday.
I was puzzled, but deeply moved. There were no strangers here. I knew everyone, but the singing Happy Birthday, what was that about? Betty, from Human Resources, was the first to come up to me and give me a hug.
“Michele sugar, you were not going to dodge us another year. You have given us the slip for five years, so this one was the charm.”
“Betty, what is going on?”
Danny walked up gently, placing her hand on my shoulder softly speaking, “My darling Michele, we want you to remember this day for the rest of your life. One, today you turn 34. Two, this is the year you find out that people like and need you, my little hermit. You keep avoiding your own birthday, so we wanted to prank you into a celebration. You entirely forgot this year, so for a change, we trapped you into having some fun with us.
Betty continued, “Michele, you are too good of a person to be hiding away so much girl, and I, for one want to celebrate your birthday with you this year.”
Kitty, the sweet Jamaican woman from the kitchen turned me around announcing that “Brunch was on, get it while it is hot.” There in front of me, was a portable serving line like the one used for board of director meetings. It had a large variety of food, more than enough to feed all 20 plus of us. This was a potluck brunch, so we had a little of everything. All of it was delicious. My head was truly spinning, but I was also very happy. Everyone oinked out.
An hour later, the debris gathered and removed, it was time for presents. Kitty knitted for me a pair of sleep socks plus a sleep hat all in the Jamaican National colors. Betty knowing my liking of eccentric knee socks gave me several pairs of interesting colors, some with separate toes. Seala gave me several Fake books used by performers to learn new music and lyrics, and a year’s membership as an apprentice in the local performers union. Sam and Danny gave me a beautiful Navaho silver bracelet and Squash blossom of red coral, turquoise, and jet, they were truly magnificent pieces,
Mary gifted me a box of homemade candy. Jacklyn gave me a beautiful wolf scarf and a wolf headscarf ring made out of bone. Elena and Beth got me a Hudson Bay blanket. The rest of the guests came with various gifts. All of them precious, from the simple cookies to the gift cards for coffee. There was some Navaho pottery, a beautiful Alpaca sweater, several nice but old scarves, and a Kweo wolf Kachina from Hopi country.
I haven’t had a birthday party since I was a kid living with my parents. We were living in Peru at the time, when on my 17th birthday, a Jesuit Cardinal came with Peruvian Federal troops. Then we were for our own protection put into protective internment in Brazil. What they told my parents, it was because the local Narc-O Lords were threatening to kill us, and so the church hid us. There was no celebration that year, and no celebration since then. I had no reason to celebrate. Maybe I should rethink this, I am under the impression that was then and this is now.
Today became a lot of fun for everyone involved. The chocolate cake was three layers and had chocolate ganache between each layer and you guessed it, chocolate icing. The ice cream was fudge ripple. Death by chocolate was used as a weapon of mass distraction, but what a way to go.
I wandered about until the food and the cake wore me down enough to make me land on the couch for some R and R from the party. Danny was milling about, talking to the guests. Finally, she worked her way up to me. She has this sexy walk like a cat on the hunt. I love how she moves and for years, I have been learning from her. Next to Poppy, I consider her my best friend. Sitting next to me on the couch giving me a hug “Happy Birthday love, I hope you are enjoying yourself.”
“Yes, yes, I am. I think this has been the most fun I have had on my birthday since I was a kid.”
“Michele, I have known you for over six years and there is still so much I don’t know. There is so much to learn about you, but I do love to see you smile you don’t smile often enough. Both Sam and I love you to pieces and want to see you find happiness. And this she gestures around her is our little attempt to boost your opinion of yourself. And try to teach you the importance of your own happiness. YOU need to see your happiness as being important and work for it. Being selfless is not always right or the only thing you have to offer the world. And being selfish is not always wrong. You need to get off the fence you have been sitting on. Then move through your transition into being who you desire to be sweetie. That alone will clear up a lot of issues you are having emotionally.”
I was rocked so far to gasp. “We never spoke about this before, why now? I thought it would be too personal and private.”
Danny answered, “I asked Sam to tell you years ago to talk to me. God, you’re a part of the family. Honestly, I am more like your big sister than a friend, so if we can’t have a girl talk who can. I know those hungry eyes of yours watch me walk and move. I am much honored you try to imitate some of my movements; it’s natural for a little sister to learn things from their big sister. But I am moving away from what I wanted to say. I feel you are still trying to make a decisive decision, but are too isolated from the rest of our community. You need to take advantage of advice from those who have gone before you. I think you need some friendly advice, as to how others see you and know you. You want a strictly unbiased opinion from someone you trust. Am I on target here, little sister?”
“Danny, yess, I would like to know your opinion about this, you have a broader understanding than me. And yes, I am very frightened, that I may be making an irreversible mistake by having SRS, and not being content with things as they are.”
“There, that wasn’t so hard? You can be focused when you are clear and open to a subject. I can answer your question very easily. I know it is supposed to be wrong to suggest to people to take this course, or the other. In this case, convention is wrong. In my humble opinion, you are so totally a female, and would never be content until you are.
“Michele baby, not everyone can be like me, this works for me. If I didn’t have Sam, I would have finished. But with that sweet man, I am content and so is he. But do not do as I do, do, as you need to do, for yourself. And for yourself, my judgment is that you are definitively all female. I have known you long enough to see this so clearly in you, but it is my opinion and Sam’s opinion and Poppy’s and Beth’s and Elena’s and Jacklyn’s, ETC, ETC, ETC!” Danny did a classic imitation of Yule Brenner from the King and I.
I was laughing very hard. “OK, I got it; it’s time to get myself right with myself. Well sister, I think we need to go and have coffee and do some shopping when you can, so I can get some more of your expert advice.”
“This is the beginning, Michele, we wanted to blast you off that fence you have been stuck on and give you some momentum towards finding your bliss. I will call you next week. I think you need a girly girl intensive this next month, so I will make some time available. But I need to get back to settling this party, remember your happiness.”
I moved to my recliner, and then the center of the action swarmed back to me. Friends who spared no hugs for me surrounded me. Whose sharing started to melt the cold spot inside of me. As the day wore on, I was feeling more content and happy. I had always found that scary because it usually meant I was missing something, but there was a difference this time. I felt I was moving fast enough to make it into orbit and not fall back down. It was a strange unsettling feeling, like I was weightless for the first time.”
There was Sam at my shoulder as if he magically became there. “The possibility of being successful is stressful, honey. You looked a little green around the gills there, so I thought it would be good to stabilize you.”
Sam stood grinning like a cat that got the bird. “You know me too well, Ma Ma Cat. Yes, I am scared, but of what I do not know?”
“Knowing you, I would say it’s possibly being noticed or standing out from your surroundings. You have been haunted by something for so long. I think even you have forgotten what it is. You act more like a wolf than you realize. You always shun the spotlight, never looking for credit for your accomplishments. Like a person who has been hunted by some malevolent force which will punish you if you are too successful. Like an invisible hand could hit you from behind out of nowhere.”
“Wow, was the only thing I could say.”
“Michele, I have to admit there is an unfair advantage here. One, I am a psy major. Two, I still have some friends in both low and high places whom I will not tell you about. They did some favors for me, by checking some things out. You can relax; no one is hunting you anymore. Your parents received the recognition for the good people they are. So fly and be free.”
Being slammed into a wall at 30 kph would have been easier than what Sam just told me. I know better than to ask how, but why did this happen in the first place, Mr. I have high friends in low places or whatever it was you just said?
“Michele, this world is a complicated and very dangerous place for innocent people because the bad guys try to look like the rest of you, Mistakes are made and until someone cleans up the loose ends, justice and truth get hung out to dry. I am sorry for what your parents and you were subjected to and I can’t get that back. But I can get your passport back and clear your family name, so you can put some of this behind you and let you go home, if you want.”
“Sam, this IS home, that WAS home. WAS is in the past. I could never live there again, too much past to get past. You are my family now and forever, I hugged Sam hard. Thank you for my freedom, it is going to take a little time to unlearn living the way I have been doing so for a long time. Just be patient with me for a bit longer. I want to thank you for being such a good friend, and for setting me up regardless where this goes.”
“Gee, don’t I feel like the old master in Kung Fu setting my student off on their life’s walk.” Sam said. “Just understand one thing in all seriousness. If you get a good offer and don’t take it, I will fire you; I can’t have a stupid person working for me, to much liability.”
“Sam, how can I leave on such a selfish lark like this, when I am making a difference saving lives? That’s the biggest purpose here.”
“Michele, I asked you last night about your life and saving that? If you won’t or can’t do that, how can I trust you with the lives of other people? Something you do not know about me is my time in Thailand. It was because I nearly dropped the ball on myself. I was too close to checking my self out permanently all over a temporary problem. Danny was the one who saved me. She was my wake up call, my Jamie. I need to tell you, tonight and last night was not a cheap trick to get you to have some fun but a necessary intervention, to put your little Ch o Ch o Train back on its track. You are too close to burning out or breaking down. Personnel had no choice but to give you some time off. Either that or my ethics would have forced me to let you go.”
I love Sam he is the best supervisor I ever had. He can be funny as a stand up comic, or as serious as a heart attack. But you always knew where you stand with him, and what was I ashamed to admit but he was correct. I was in sad shape emotionally and mentally.
“Michele darling, if I did not know you could do this, I would have done something else other than this. But I know, not just believe, if you got the right break that you would run with it all the way. I want total happiness for you and being a nurse was only one-step in getting there, now it is time for the next step in your climb.
“I need to get home sweetheart, unlike you I need to work Monday and Sunday is my crash day. Looking at me deeply in my eyes, Michele you’re worth it. Try to let your self appreciate how special you really are, and when you make it, remember us little people who helped along the way.”
“Sam, like I could ever forget you. That is like never.”
“Hell, kid you forgot your own birthday, oh that was my point.”
I was crying softly as Sam got up and hugged me like a huger snake hard! Biding Sam goodbye, who told me to stay put and think about what we talked about today.
It was late afternoon now, and there was a chill in the air, so I started up my fireplace and folded myself into my recliner. Allowing the party to wind around me as my mind was winding around what Danny and Sam had told me.
One by one, my group of unexpected friends came by and gave me a hug and a friendly goodbye. I thanked all of them for coming and making today so special. I was overwhelmed by the generosity of people that I, until today, only counted as casual acquaintances. I was seriously mistaken for being so reclusive thinking that no one would want to know me. It would seem that those who did know me, to my surprise, liked me, and saw me a good person. I am guessing I needed to start doing the same.
It is hard when you find that you have been fooling yourself for so many years. There is the grace that I did not know until today. What I had feared, but could not prove was a reality. It’s liberating knowing your old paranoia’s were real, but no longer a danger. It is especially empowering to also learn that you do not have cooties or some weird social deformation, just the fact your fear made you overly cautious. There are so many things to ponder, but that my biggest hurdle is not to ponder now. I need to right now stop worrying about the dental condition of a free horse, and just ride it out of town.
I can worry about the dust settling later, there are bigger issues to consider with my newly unearthed talent. I am not comfortable being so outstanding in a field any field. My preference would be to remain quietly within the edge of a tree line, out of sight of the public, But to use my talent, that is impossible except if I was the invisible woman. That is to freakish to contemplate. So out in the open, it has to be. I wonder if wolves are a tad agoraphobic. Crikey, my mind is overloaded for me to ask that question.
I attempted several times to help with the clean up but the remaining crew of Poppy, Jacklyn, and Seala told me to go and sit down. They even gave me a glass of nice Holiday Spice Wine from Pennsylvania Bucks County Vineyard. Poppy has family there and she uses her Aunts import license to get a case every year. Watching the fire, sipping my wine and draying about my future, I was amazed at how much my life had changed in a little less than forty-eight hours, the old person who I was can be no longer. My mother used to tell me that once a cucumber becomes a pickle it could never go back. She has some odd sayings. But this was a fitting quip, if there ever was one, for this situation. I was chuckling to myself when the three girls joined me with their own glass of wine. When asked about why I was so jolly, I had to tell them about my memory. We all got a kick out of my mother’s homespun humor, wisdom mix, easy to learn and impossible to get out of your head.
Poppy opened up the next round of inquisitive poking at my mind trying to sound me out as where I was in my process.
I was up front with my answer “My friend, I am trying to emotionally catch up with the physical changes in my life. Before you all start, I know this will take some time this time. And I will not be letting moss grow under my rolling stone. So, without further adieu, Seala, what do you need from me to enroll in your services in keeping this process moving right along?”
“Show up at my studio on Monday.” Then Seala looked with laughing eyes to Poppy. “Is she always like this with the bad jokes?”
“Only when she is very nervous or scared, my guess is that she is nearly out of her wits, and is trying to not lose it and hurl her stomach continence into yonder fireplace. Three bad puns in a row are a bit extrema, even for her.”
Seala asked me with concern in her voice “Michele sweetheart, what has you so nervous and worried?”
“Seala, I am not an out there personality. I have always been quiet, plus a bit of a social recluse. This new situation is so out of my control, it shakes my confidence in being able to emotionally handle it, without becoming a total mess then falling apart. That would be wasting your time, money, and effort. I would then die of embarrassment.”
Poppy put her hand on my arm, “I will never let that happen to you girl. You are not going into this alone and without help. We will all help you take this slowly and build up your tolerance to all of the new things. It is not an all or nothing all at once event, but a process of growing, shedding old skin, then growing again.”
Seala continued, “I have shepherded far less talented people than you into public lives. You will have good days and bad days, but from what I saw upstairs in your studio plus last night, there will be very little that you will not be able to handle with the proper education, then taking our time as things come along. I am your friend and I will not put your emotional or physical safety in jeopardy to make a buck. You are worth more than any physical value I could place. Besides, it is my time and money to waste. And you do not have a corner on the market for stupidity. None of us do.”
Jacklyn, who had been setting quietly until now, spoke up. “I want you to know I am from a theater and entertainment family. I have seen every screw up a person can manage. Most of those, No, make that nearly all of those mistakes, come from the ego growing faster than the talent, then they forget what was important. Those people burn out because they can’t deliver on what their ego demands of them. Crash goes their ego and their career. You do not have that type of ego. You know, with four footed sureness, just where you stand, and you have the rest of us willing to lose a leg to kick you in your pretentious tail, if you start getting to big for your furry britches, girlfriend.”
“Folks, I can not promise I will not become addicted to the fun and energy this work brings out in me. I am worried about being myself and staying that way, and not losing that which is the most important thing I have. My self-respect, honesty and honor, how do I keep all of this? That part feels like an impossible mystery.”
“Michele” Poppy interjected, “there is no mystery. And the solution is in being you. You already have all of that. Being your good self is what you are addicted to. Just loosening up enough to be you, and stop trying so hard. That’s why you have been so miserable. Listen, Michele, you are a fantastic, dedicated nurse. But until last night, you refused to be a living person as well. You became just a doing, just a nurse. Especially today, stop stressing over this, let’s all of us just have some fun Then let that fun get under your skin, let it seep into your insides, and feed that living person, not just the nurse, but all of you.”
“Your heart wolf girl is a wild thing that needs to fear less, run free and howl at the moon, not hiding away whimpering in fear. That will kill you faster than any mistake you could make trying to do what you were born to do. Stagnation is the death of the creative personality. You rot from the inside out and that is still change, just not a good or pleasant change.”
My grandfather always talked about not pushing the river, but allowing the path to open for you. “Ladies, I feel a song or so trying to get out, would you do me the honor of joining me in my play room for a couple of songs if your inhibitions allow.”
All of us scampered off to my studio where I started to set things up.
“Michele,” Seala asked, “won’t we wake up your neighbors?”
“Not a chance,” Michele replied, “this room is totally sound proof. Nothing gets in or out of the room sound wise. We can totally open up and scream if we want to. If you want to know, the sound insulation is from a jet aircraft salvage supplier that I am friends with, the floor, ceiling, and walls are isolated from the bones of the house by cork dampener pads.”
“Michele, are you some sort of sound engineer under that nurse uniform?”
As I told you, I worked with a local radio station in Peru when I was a kid. I swept the floors, but it sparked my curiosity and we had to work under some very primitive conditions, as the village was poor. When we moved to Peru, I got to be one of the Foley people, so I got to work in the studio. I remember one of my friends took me to some old caves where we recorded many different effects using the acoustics of the cave. Another field trip was to a festival where several of the local villages got together for some sort of old festival where they use a large Inca site to chant and sing using drums and Pan Pipes. One of the most intense experiences I ever had. There was at least six hundred or so people faced off towards each other in two equal groups across an open area that looked built or modified to create the acoustics of the area.
The Inca’s and the people who went before had such a way of living the land and using its features. My life changed that day, being in the focus of those two chanting, singing groups changed me some how. The interplay of rhythms and tonality created a sacred effect altering the minds of perception of reality and created visions among all of those present. We recorded those experiences and used it during one of our radio drams. It was like one of the old radio drams before TV. I did American children’s voices and occasionally did a woman’s voice. I still have a high fidelity copy of some of the shows
While I was running off with my mouth, Poppy was turning on and setting up the studio for us to play. The first title we did was warm up our voices. Seala helped us with some toning in harmonies. We actually got some Gregorian chanting in English. Then we played ‘What Do You Do with Maria’, from the Sound of Music. Then we did ‘America’ from West Side story. We all played with this being a campy number. Seala and Poppy did ‘Toto Africa’. Then we worked on ‘The Longest Time’ by Billy Joel. We had most of it fitted together, but we lacked the lower tones needed for a good Do Wop sound. Seala mentioned Charles, the baritone from the club.
“He is such a good sport and uses the club to have fun because his day job is so serious.”
“What does he do? I asked.
“He is an Opera singer and can not be seen performing ‘trash music’ by his fellow singers, so he plays with us, and they leave him alone. Everyone else has their own secret vice music; they just cannot appear professionally outside of the Opera company. So, he does our circuit.”
On my Foley stage, I had a small anvil, which Jacklyn started tapping. Then we all started doing ya ta da to the anvil chorus.
Beth and Elena both cracked up saying, “Anvil would be a great name for a heavy metal group.”
All of us fell out over that. Seala stopped mid-chuckle and was trying to come up with an alternative name riffing off Anvil saying, “Damn, it is on the tip of my tongue. It’s something like that but bigger.”
She looked at me with pleading eyes asking me to help. It suddenly came to me forcing its self out of my mouth at the same time Seala spoke with me A FORGE.
FORGE, the rest of the group looked at us a bit as if they did not get it.
I elaborated, “A forge is a place where metal is formed by melting, hammering, and bending it into shape. Like Valley Forge where the revolutionary war colonies made guns, cannons, and bayonets. But it can also describe where ideas get pounded out.”
Then Seala added, “Or where songs and music takes form and styles are hammered out.”
All at once, a sudden spark of inspiration gave me goose bumps.
“I stammered out, girls I think we may have just created something that is begging to be let out and played with, and by the Muses daughters of Zeus if you are with me or not, I gotta do this. For those of you with me, I give you FORGE.”
I stood at the center of our group with my hand up in the air. Seala walked up with confidence and joined me grasping my hand, then Poppy, Beth, Jacklyn, and Elena. All of us gathered like a group of knights with swords raised together, then on que, we all spoke, “ALL FOR ONE, ONE FOR ALL.”
My ‘total resolve’ birthed that night in the playroom. I remembered what the old man at the gathering in Peru told me. He knew that I changed under a full moon up in that lofty valley. He told me I would be tested harshly during the first part of my life preparing me for the time when I will know to act! At that time, his words and what happened that night would all come back to me, and then I will know that this is the time and I will find it necessary to focus every ounce of my passion, on the presented goals. Doing so, every force focused that night would be available for me to be able to grow and prosper.
These great people have done so much to bring me out of hibernation and back into the light, I was not going to let them down. I just hope they are ready for what they are going to get themselves tangled into, none of them knew me from the past when I was really unfettered, The time before I was banished from my parents, Then they were punished by their holder for every made up crime they accused me of. I became a different person then to try to get them out of Brazil and back into the U.S.A., where they stood a chance of some legal protection. Again, ‘that was then, this is now’. I needed to break out of the prison I put myself into.
It will be a while before Forge comes out into the open and some time before it becomes big enough to bother anyone. If we do become popular, then by that time we may be very hard to squash.
Tonight though, we shut down my studio and all had a couple of nightcaps talking about Forge and what ideas we had for it. I declared a slumber party, breaking out my inflatable bed and my guests kits from the two spare bedrooms. We talked into the wee hours of the morning, and then crashed genteelly, into a peaceful sleep.
forge 1 (fá´rj, frj)
n.
1. A furnace or hearth where metals are heated or wrought; a smithy.
2. A workshop where pig iron is transformed into wrought iron.
v. forged, forg ·ing, forg ·es
v.tr.
1.
a. To form (metal, for example) by heating in a forge and beating or hammering into shape.
b. To form (metal) by a mechanical or hydraulic press.
2. To give form or shape to, especially by means of careful effort: forge a treaty; forge a close relationship.
1. To work at a forge or smithy.
[Middle English, from Old French, from Vulgar Latin *faurga, from Latin fabrica, from faber, worker.]
Sketching out the dream
Dreams do exist, but in an ephemeral world, where there's only spirit.
To give them housing in this world
you need to create one.
out of your own blood, sweat, and tears.
Preliminary Mission Statement
Group forge what does it mean to be a member?
How does it work?
1] We are a Cooperative that allows many people to partake in the creation of music projects. This will be governed by fairness, honesty, AND Integrity
2] Precipitation by preference Some will front of the house and be seen on stage,
some back of the house working only in the studio.
All are a part of the Forge.
3] We will forge a musical scene that which acknowledges both the trials of living,
and uplift the spirit.
4] We are creators not destroyers.
5] One for all, All for one!
Core Front people
Michele and Seala
Core Additional Vocals
Poppy, Jacklyn, Beth, Elena
Guests
Others join as they wish, for whatever they wish to do to help.
All eyes were on the video display in my living room as we added the definitions of what we expected to create by and through this group. Art was a strange thing, in that someone performing one form would be dissed or downgraded in another. Therefore, we decided to create code names like a group of comic book or mange superheroes. There is even talk of having our music videos performed in animation. Thus allowing a larger than life personality presented to the public. We would protect and shield our physical lives from the prying eyes of the rumormongers and soul thefts, giving us control that is more creative.
We also created a wolf pack model of seeing ourselves, again comic book like, but it is still a model to allow cooperation and organic organization of our little tribe of BFF. Seala and I were voted as Alpha’s and it was our job to hold us all together. Both of us had to agree to something before we would decide yes, if either was against something, we sat council. Everyone had an input when we sat council. And there needed to be consequences forged between the two Alphas or it remained vetoed. There was no dishonor to change your mind later. Then agreement would allow the forces of creation to be released. This system allowed a clear leadership but protected the individual interests to be respected.
While we were trying to decide how to govern ourselves, we considered Roberts Rules of Order as one idea. Then I told the story about a small mining town in Colorado. There needed to be a filing of papers with the government allowing the town to incorporate. The hang up came, when trying to decide just what to name the town. Because “some damn fool produced that book”, the process came to a stop while the "Parliamentary wrestling match" tried to produce a discussion. Finally, one day, after weeks of exasperating fighting, the book of minutes to the meetings was open up, finding a large mosquito entombed within its pages. It was finally agreed upon that Providence named the town Mosquito. Being women, we decided on the council method instead.
We had breakfast and put into our freshly minted charter those things necessary to start things up. We unanimously voted Seala as our agent and lead manager due to her experience. Her code name is ‘Auger, the truth teller’, mine is ‘Wolf-es, the pathfinder’. The rest of the girls would think about what they wanted to use as their handle when they could think of one.
There would be papers of incorporation drawn up then signed. We would probably be a private limited cooperative group. That is something Seala’s lawyer would need to work out.
My mind was made up when I raised my hand to speak. All eyes were now on me and that made me nervous, but I pressed on.
“Ladies, I would like to ask your indulgence for a moment.” Everyone was quiet. “I have a deeply personal belief which I have found to be very important when starting an endeavor, so please bear with me. Whenever starting such a big and important project, I found it necessary to seek some spiritual guidance and perhaps some blessings from someone trusted.”
“Two years ago, Ma Ma Cat and I did some outreach work with a local representative of the Salish people where we were greeted and treated like we were family. A local Salish elder woman ‘Sally Poor Bear’ became our friend and supporter. We worked with her arranging the set up of a children’s clinic and dental van to visit several smaller reserves of various nations related to the Salish Nation Councils. She helped us clear the way for the project to pass the local and government tests. I learned to trust her judgment and I wish to know if all of you would be OK with me calling her and asking help with what we are trying to create here. We are good at the physical end, and she is good with the spiritual end.”
Surprisingly everyone agreed that this was a good idea and wanted me to go forward and call her.
I did a video conference with Sally, sharing with her what we were doing. Sally was a woman’s black lodge elder of the wolf clan. She was impressed with our progress and the attempt to do it. All of us quietly accepted her suggestions. And when she suggested we form a woman's black lodge dedicated to music that would teach and uplift women in their struggles, all of us agreed requesting her to please shepherd us through the process. I asked Sally, “Please help us do this correctly. I do not want us seen as another rip-off of the culture. We want to truly continue things respectfully and be a part of it.”
“Michele, you have quite a bit of credit for what you and Sam have already done, and you’re recognized as skin to us because of your Blackfeet heritage. The fact you came to me today will go a long way in convincing the elder women to understand your motives. You understand the rules, we need time to consider things, but you have my blessings on the path you have started. Let me see what other forces we can gather from this end to help you.”
All of us were grateful for her blessing and promised a free benefit concert provided if we ever got that far. To which Sally smiled, then grinned saying, “I will hold you to that.”
Betty looking a bit surprised wondering, “Is the universe trying to tell us something? We just made the decision to start a group and we already got our first booking.”
Poppy shrugged, “Girls that is something that only happens in action adventure movies and in story board postings, not in real life!”
We all had to chuckle at that one. I added, “I think we are about to try and prove that wrong, and limits like that are made to be broken, and we are fixing to do just that.”
It was as if the Gods or the fates had placed their will into motion. We had been supplied with a hearty band of adventures, the correct circumstances, even the heavens have aligned. All the forces of the universe were making our path very clear.
So what could I say to the Gods of creation? Yesss, yes I want More Please. I just hope I am strong enough to survive my blessing. Now I need to get ready for The Climb...
I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most yeah
just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on,cause
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb
There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb
Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep faith baby
It's all about, it's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, woah