Kayla P's stories
Ben was sitting on the sofa in his small apartment, he was supposed to be in class, he didn’t care. What would it matter if he didn't show up. No way could he concentrate on school after having just been fired from his job. He had never been fired from a job before, not that he had many before his previous one.
He was,had been, a store clerk at Stop N' Go, a family owned and operated 24 hour convenience store, he was the only employee not related to the owner, Philip Atwood. The Atwoods had only hired him part time and were constantly coming to check up on him but, after about 5 months he was moved up to full time and even ate dinner with them about once a week. Everything was going well for about 6 months, He was always cheerful, worked hard, and was never late. Till a day in the middle of may where things started slowly rolling downhill.
Ben woke with his hair in a terrible mess he had gone to bed with wet hair again last night, he showered and took his meds, 2 little blue pills and 2 pastel orange ones that tasted like really disgusting mints, then he set to work on his hair. He had shoulder length brown hair that he all too often got into horrible tangles, he couldn't help but think 'what is it going to be like when its longer' . He threw on a pair of jeans and a red collar tee that was a few sizes too large, the dress code for his work. He jogged the three blocks to his college, Angelo State University, because he was running late.
It was his English final today which was also his last final, then 2 weeks of freedom till the summer semester started. He took his test and was the first one to finish, working overnight shifts in a town with no night life had its advantages. Having a few hours to kill before his shift he walked over to the campus cafeteria. Thankfully, his scholarship covered 2 meals a day at the cafeteria or he would be living on ramen noodles.
Even with a full time job, he was spending every penny he earned. His first priority was his meds, he was buying them from an online pharmacy without a prescription, which he wasn't even sure was legal but he didn't live in the friendliest community for people like him so seeing a doctor didn't feel like an option. His second priority was making sure his bills were paid, it wasn't worth getting late fees. Third, setting aside 35 dollars a week for laser hair removal. The rest was supermarket money which often times it wasn't even have enough to cover the essentials.
He finished his over=sized meal, the cafeteria was all you can eat and he wouldn't be having dinner tonight, It was only late afternoon. Even though it was 100 degrees out, he had the time and decided to walk to work rather then spend the dollar on bus fare.
Ben arrived at the store about 15 minutes before his shift, David was at the register.
“Ben, we have a new employee starting today, my daughter, Emily.”
'Emily is only 15, how was she going to work in a place that sold beer and cigs' Ben thought but wasn't going to say anything, it wouldn't be the first time he noticed the Atwoods ignoring the law.
“She isn't going to be running the register, the last thing we need is our liquor license taken away. She will be doing all of the side work though, if she misses anything don't say anything to her, tell me and her pay will be docked, she an adult now and cant be babied anymore.” David said with anger clear in his voice.
“Is that starting right away or do I have a few days to train her first?” Ben asked timidly, sensing family drama.
Ben waited for about a minute, getting no response. He washed his face in the restroom and clocked in.
“You can train her tonight, but after that if she misses anything I want to know about it.” David agreed about 5 minutes later.
“Alright, I can handle everything if you want to go home.”
“Yea, I'm going, she will be here in about 20 minutes and I don't even want to look at her right now.”
Ben didn't mind running the store alone and actually preferred it to working with David who constantly made nasty comments about customers as soon as they were out the door.
“Can I see your ID?” Ben asked. The man looked about 35 but Phillip wanted him to check the ID of everyone who looked younger than 41. He had been glad of that policy many times because people rarely look their age.
“2 16 74”
“I am sorry sir but I need to see an ID”
“Your telling me, that as a 38 years old man losing my hair, I am going to be carded?” He said venomously
“Yes sir, anyone who looks under the age of 41 must show an ID to purchase alcohol” Ben pointed at the sign posted right on the register.
“That is the stupidest shit!”
“I don't make the policies sir, I just follow them.”
“You fucking bitch!” The man stormed off.
Ben put the beer back on the shelf and got back behind the register. Emily came in followed by the same man.
“I got my ID now where the fuck is my beer?”
“Its back on the shelf.”
“Well if you were stupid enough to put it back, you can just go get it for me then can't you?”
“Sorry sir, I have to stay behind the register with a customer in the store. If your not going to get anything I am going to have to ask you to leave.” Ben said firmly
The man left, after buying his beer.
“Are they all like that?” Emily asked pressing right up against his back.
Sidestepping quickly. “OK, not so much of that, I need at least 1 foot of personal space at all times, as for your question, we get his type in here about once every 2 or 3 weeks, the sad part is he spent more time ranting then it took to get the ID from his car.”
Emily was looking down at him with an unreadable look. She was 6'0 and big boned, like so many Texas girls. He was 5'6 and fine boned, which didn't make him feel like an authority figure.
“What did you do to piss your dad off anyway?” Ben asked uncomfortable.
“Oh that.” She rolled her eyes. “First off, He told me I needed to find a summer job on my own because I wasn't old enough to work here, but I knew Uncle Phil would give me a job and pay me better than working elsewhere. So I didn't bother looking and it pissed him off.”
“I am ashamed of you, too lazy to find a job and leeching off your uncle instead” She mocked.
“And what else is he mad about?”
“Nothing, why?” she said defensively
“well you said first off, which kinda implies more than one reason is all.” Ben said shrugging.
“I don't really want to talk about it, lets just say I wont see much of my friends this summer.” she sighed “I am glad he's getting sick.”
a teenage boy walked into the store and came right to the counter.
“Hello, what can I get for you” Ben said. The boy was staring at his chest which disturbed him, it had been happening often recently and didn’t bode well for his job. 'Maybe if he just cut his hair one last time. Never cutting it short again. It would be so helpful to his male appearance though. No he wasn't going to!' He thought momentarily forgetting the customer.
“I'm sorry sir, what did you want again?” Ben asked
“No problem, three white grape cigarillos” He said
“Can I see your ID please”
“Sure thing Ma'am” he pulled his wallet out and showed his ID smiling 5/16/94, it was his birthday.
“Is that all for you?”
“Yes Ma'am”
“Your total is 1.94$, first time buying cigs?” 'and would you please stop saying ma'am with Emily here!' He added silently
“Yes Ma'am”
He handed Ben 2 dollars.
“6 cents is your change and have a happy birthday!”
“thanks Ma'am” He said practically running out the door.
Damn, that couldn't have gone worse, he really liked being called Ma'am but not with any Atwood around. Between his hair, his gender neutral voice, and apparently, not hiding his breasts well enough it happened often but, that hadn't been a problem because he mostly worked alone.
Oh crap! She was giving him that look again, he didn't know what it was but he could tell it wasn't good. “You know what they use those cigarillos for right?” trying to distract her.
“No, you know-” She was still looking at him! Bah!
“To smoke weed” He interrupted. oh hell, why did he just tell a 15 year old that, next thing he would be telling her its really easy to buy alcohol online.
“That boy in here was nerv-”
“How long are you here for? I only have tonight to train you then I'm supposed to start tattling on you for every little thing you miss.” Operation distract in progress!
“Go ahead, whats he going to do. Ground me for not cleaning the coffee machine? oh wait! I am already grounded!”
“He may have said something about docking your pay.” success!
“Uncle Phil would never do that” She said a little less sure.
“How long are you here for?”
“Till 7 AM, same as you.”
“13 hour shift your first day, is that even legal at your age?”
“Well I am not officially working here. Uncle Phil is just giving me allowance and I am just hanging out here” she said, air quoting hanging out.
Everything seemed to go well for most of the night. She made him a little uneasy and felt she may have been a little too touchy, rubbing against him when there seemed to be plenty of room to pass, touching his shoulder and wrist when he was showing her stuff but he figured it was just he hadn't worked closely with someone for a long time.
Then at about 3am, they had finished everything and he was just leaning against the register waiting for someone to come in. Graveyard shift on Monday, you could go without a customer for 3 or 4 hours...
Then it happened, she came and pressed up behind him like when she first came in but this time she quickly put her arms around him and grabbed his breasts.
“I knew it! Thank god, this is going to be so much easier. I'm so glad your a girl.” she exclaimed
// It took me way to long to write this, writing is harder for me then I would like it to be. Hopefully, I will get better in the future :)
// Please comment even if you think its the worst thing you ever read I would like to know!
Ben tried to pull away from Emily but, she was holding him fairly tight. “Umm, can you let me go?”
Someone came into the store, Emily quickly backed up but it was too late.
“Uhh, Hello?” Ben said feeling his face turn scarlet. Worse luck, it was a regular customer and someone from school as well.
Randy came right up to the counter. “Glad I didn’t make that bet.” He said smiling
“What bet?” Ben asked automatically, thinking 'really?! Out of all the bloody people who shopped here the ONE person who shopped here regularly AND went to his school showed up.'
“well, I was thinking you were a femmy boy but, Jason and Roger said you were a lezzy. We almost asked you at lunch a few weeks ago, but the way you were stuffing your face in the cafeteria made them back out” he still had that stupid grin on his face.
“10 on pump 2 and a pack of Marlboro lights, right?” Ben asked, really wanting him gone so he could figure this out.
“Yea sure, thanks for making my night, not every day you get to see lezzies making out or fondling each other.” Already escalating what he saw.
“We weren't doing anything!” Emily spoke up for the first time, her face was also bright red.
“Don't worry hun, I won't get B- that not your real name is it?” Randy asked.
“Sophia” Ben replied helplessly, ringing up the cigarettes.
“I won't get Sophia in any trouble.”
Randy pulled out his wallet.
“We really weren't doing anything.” Emily said again
“Your total is 15.94”Ben said
“Why Ben?” Randy handed him a 20, ignoring Emily.
“Its my middle name, and don't ask, because I don't know. Your change is 4.06”
“Keep the change, and you two have a goood night” He said suggestively before finally walking out the door.
Ben changed his gas total to 14.06.
They were both silent for a minute waiting till Randy got his gas and left. Ben wished he had done something to correct Randy but between being in 'customer service mode' and being embarrassed, He hadn't been thinking clearly.
“Why didn't you stick up for yourself?” Emily accused.
“I just couldn't think of what to say.” Ben sighed “Do you even realize just how badly you screwed up my life just now? What possessed you to grab my breasts?!” Ben said his voice getting higher with every word.
“Maybe if you hadn't been pretending to be a boy I would never have had to!” Emily shouted back
“I am a boy!” He tried to shout back in his male voice but, it came out in a squeak, probably because he hadn't used it in over a year.
“Yea, me too!” Emily squeaked back at him, laughing.
“I guess that didn’t sound very convincing, but I kinda am.” he said going back to his normal voice.
“Boobs.” Emily pointed at his chest.
“Look, I'll prove it” He pulled out his wallet and handed her his ID “see” he pointed at the Sex:M
“Benjamin Sophia Murdock? If you were going to get a fake ID you should have gotten one with a real boys name.” She tossed his ID onto the counter.
“Sophia was going to be the name of my twin sister, she died minutes after birth, when the worthless doctor dropped her.”
“Ok, I guess I can see that, but seriously, boobs?” pointing to his chest again.
“Lets not get into that right now.”
He walked into the very small back room, which was crowded with a desk, sink, ice machine, and mop bucket. Emily followed him.
“I need you to help me with something.” She stated.
“After all that? I don't want to help you with anything.” He sat down at the desk. “I'm not even sure I can go back to school.” He added dejected.
“We are going to start dating.”
“Hell no!”
“Why not?” she folded her arms
“Your 15 and I'm nearly 19, Your not my type, and I don't have a death wish for a start.”
“I am 16.” she glared at him like he called her a dirty name.
“Yea that’s SO much better.”
“If you don't I'm going to tell Uncle Phil your a girl, no way he would miss those” she looked down at his chest. “If I point them out to him.”
“hmm, I can be dead or fired, now that’s a tough one” he said sarcastically.
Ben got up and went back to the front of the store, trying to distance himself from Emily. It was too early to start preparing breakfast so, he just leaned against the wall and tried to sort out his thoughts.
He heard Emily come out of the back room.
“My dad wont kill you. I think he is trying to get us together. Just look at the schedule we have the same hours for the next 2 weeks.”
“Your dad hates me, so its much more likely that he is hoping you will annoy me so much that I quit.”
“Two days ago, me and my best friend, Cynthia, were making out in my room and my dad walked in on us. He called Cynthia's mom, and I got grounded for the summer. I told him I was a lesbian. He said he didn't raise a lesbian and that I was just confused. This morning I was going to be working with my dad and Aunt Jen but he said he didn't even want to look at me, and I would be working graveyards with you.” She said in a rush, uncried tears of parental rejection were visible in her eyes.
Responding to her pain, the same one that still stabbed at his heart when he though of his parents, he gave her a hug.
“I wouldn't even care if that was all.” Emily said, pulling away physically and emotionally “but I was on his computer yesterday and saw that he had been looking at a boarding school that promises to 'cure' gays.”
“I'll do it” Ben said “but if your dad kills me I will come back as a ghost and haunt you for the rest of your natural life, you wont get a moments peace!”
“You will?” She said hopeful
“Yes, I will follow you everywhere screaming at the top of my ghostly lungs.”
She gave him a look that somehow said “really?” in an exasperated tone.
“Ok, yes I will but we aren't going to start this till Friday.”
Ben couldn't help wondering if David kept the gun in the back of his car loaded.
“We should get breakfast started” He said
They prepared breakfast in silence, They both had a lot to think about.
“Have you gleaned information that is so potent it feels like it redefines reality?
Its probably happened many times in my life but I can only remember two times really clearly the first from when I was really young was “Adults can lie” the second, was just a few months ago, well before I go on let me tell you a little bit about myself before.
My name is Tyler Bailey I'm 17 years old and a junior in high school and just in case any of you have gone blind, I am 5'8 with a small frame and have short dirty blonde hair.
I was extremely depressed and was constantly contemplating suicide. I live on the 11th floor of an apartment building and at night I would sit on my window ledge trying to scoot myself over the edge. Other times I would hold a razor-blade up to my neck feeling the pulse of my heart through the blade at my neck and think if I could just flick my wrist IT would be OVER. But every time I gave up and cursed myself for being such a worthless coward.
I couldn't even conceive of a future in which I lived. The problem was I was a girl. Well that wasn’t the problem exactly I was a girl in a boys body pretending to be a boy. If that doesn't make sense let me try to clarify it some. Basically it was like double thinking all my responses with the ever present 'what would a boy say/do' filter on. I don’t know when I started doing that but I do know I was TERRIFIED of being 'found out'.
Then about three months ago something amazing happened. My second world changing revelation. I was browsing the web and somehow ended up reading a story about a transgender and it was like OMG OMG OMG THATS ME! When you go nearly your whole life feeling like a freak and then finally find out your not the only one and what WE are even has a NAME?! You cant imagine how that feels unless you have experienced it. In fact I dont think I can even put it into words but I guess I can try. It was like it was storming my entire life and then suddenly it stopped and the sun came out for the first time in memory. I could think of the future again. I could have go-”
“TIME!” my teacher called catching me mid word
'Oh god! Did I really just say all that in front of my entire speech class.' I think looking around the room at every ones faces for the first time since I started
//I know the description doesn't really fit with it being a speech but I wanted it in there anyway :P