A New Waitress
By Janet L. Stickney

"You girls have it made! All you have to do is look good and wait for some guy to ask you out! We pay and you get all the benefits without doing anything."

"Listen, you big ape. I work six days a week just to have any money at all! That means that I have to work all the time just to have an allowance!"

"Right. Okay, you maybe, but not many girls have to do that, and I still say that you girls have it easy!"
Shelly, my sister Carol, and Michelle went into a huddle for a minute, then they stood facing me.

"Okay, since you seem to think we have it made, we'll make you a bet. We have a game this weekend, right? If we win the game, we'll pay you $300. But, if we lose the game, then you have to work my job, as a girl, wearing the same uniform I do, for a month, and I still get the money--tips and all!"
Nobody ever said I was the brightest in the school, and I proved it that day. Our team was the favorite by everyone, including the other team. So far, they haven't won even one game. This would be a snap, and both of those girls would pay for it. Just as I was about to say something, my buddy Greg walked up, and I told him what the bet was. Like me, he knew we were a shoo in to win. With him standing right next to me, I agreed to the terms of the bet. Carol very carefully said them again, and asked me if that was right, and I said yes. There was no way we were going to lose this game. We're ranked third, and they are in last place. Greg agreed with me, and we walked away knowing that the girls had made a dumb bet. Of course, our bet was all over the school the next day, spread by the girls no doubt, and I took a lot of teasing about it, but most people thought that I was in no danger. Only the girls were gloating. Even my teachers had heard about it, and one of them even wanted me to extend the bet. If our team won, I would get extra credit, which would put me in the top ten percent of the class, just, but if we lost, she wanted me to come to school as a girl, for the same month I would be working as a waitress. I was so sure of the outcome that I agreed to her bet right in class, which was also all over the school in a hot minute.
I stand about 5'7" in my bare feet, weigh about 140 or so, and I have auburn hair streaked with dark blond and green eyes. I'm 17 now, and just as cocky as any 17 year old boy. My buddy Greg was a constant companion, and a good friend, but twice he told me that I would makeup as a real foxy chick! I wanted to slap him. When mom found out what was going on, from my sister of course, I got no sympathy at all. She merely told me that if I lose, she would be the one to help me become a girl, and after all, a month isn't that long. Dad thought it was hilarious, because like me, he knew we weren't going to lose the game. Then mom told me that I would be quite pretty as a girl!

"Face it honey, you look more like me than Carol does. We have the same nose, chin, eyes and coloring, while Carol takes after your father a bit more. I think it's going to be easy to turn you into a girl!"

"We're not going to lose mom, no problem there!"

"We'll see, won't we?"

There it was. The bet, the odds, and the possible outcomes. There was no way I was going to lose, and I was going to enjoy watching those girls fork over a $100 apiece. I went to bed confident and sure of myself. When I got to school the next day I found someone had painted my locker pink, and there was a bra hanging from the lock, still in the package. I got a lot of laughs about that, but stuck it in my locker and went to class. The guys on the team assured me they were going to win, which was very reassuring. With two days to go before the game, still sure of myself, and now over confident about the outcome, I guess I was a bit cocky about it, which is when I was confronted by several girls on the cheerleading squad. They told me they wanted in on this bet. If we win the game they said, they would do my homework for the rest of the year. If we lost the game, I would have to become a cheerleader for the rest of the season! Why did everyone want to see me in a dress I asked myself, just before I agreed. How could I not? I mean, the game is a lock isn't it?
I was in the stands, watching as we rolled over them. We were ahead by 6 going into the fourth, and I almost left I was so sure we were going to win. But they intercepted a pass and ran to the 5. A short lateral pass, a mad dash, and they scored! The game was now tied, and I had an ugly feeling in my gut. They have the ball, and need only one point to win. The kicker hit it squarely and the ball soared high and right, but drifted back and crossed over the cross bar. We were now down by one, and there were only two minutes on the clock. I was on the edge of my seat as we accepted the ball at the 25, and our man began to run. He was hit by three guys, the ball squirted free, bouncing into the air, end over end. There was a scramble to catch it, and we tried, but their team ended up with the ball. In two plays they scored again with a field goal and we were down by four with less than two minutes to play. As the clock ticked down we moved the ball to the 40. A field goal would not win the game, only a touchdown. The snap, a long pass, a rush to catch it, then our man dropped it just as the whistle blew. We had lost the game! Lost! I looked around, and saw a lot of the girls pointing at me, laughing as they knew what was coming. So did I. The benches were all metal, so I couldn't sink into them, but I wanted to.
By the time I got home my sister was there, grinning from ear to ear. My mother wasn't very sympathetic, and told me that in the morning she would help me get ready, then turn me into a girl! Dad was there at the game with me, and also knew what was about to happen to me, but there wasn't a darn thing he could do about it. "A man sticks by his word" he always said, and I had made the bet all on my own. By the terms of the bet, I would have to work as a waitress for a month while attending school as a girl at the same time. But there are six more months of sports, and I had also agreed to become a cheerleader for every game from now until then. Mom saw the implications at once, and dropped a bombshell on me when she told me that I would probably have to remain as a girl until the end of the year since it would be to hard for me to keep changing back and forth, and with some games in the afternoon, there would not be enough time for me to change clothes! I protested, but the best I could get out of her was a "Maybe. We'll see."
All three of the girls were at our house in the morning. Shelly had brought one of her uniforms for me to try on, but I was with mom in her room, with very strict instructions that everyone was to stay away. I had no idea how to go about this, except maybe to just put the clothes on, but mom asked me if I really wanted to be such a clown while I was a waitress. I could do it that way of course, but I would be the laughing stock of the town if I did. Mom had me strip down, then covered me with a cream she said would remove all of my body hair, and she was right. After I washed my hair and shaved as close as I could, I stepped back into her bedroom wearing nothing but a towel. In her right hand she had a pair of panties. Pink panties. The idea of wearing them made me feel like a pervert, but, she insisted, so I slipped them on. They didn't hide much by the way. Then she showed me how to put on pantyhose, which much to my surprise, gave me shivers as the slick nylon slid over my now smooth skin. It was a very sexy feeling! Once I had them to my waist, she gave me a pantybrief to wear, then pushed a folded washrag on each side, to give me hips. My still damp hair hung limp as she had me sit at her vanity.

Mom didn't do anything but guide me through the mysteries of makeup. I had to do it all myself, because, she told me that I might as well learn how. First, foundation that matched my skin tone and a powder to make my face smooth and matte looking. Then eyeshadow in soft blue with gray over that, and lilac highlights. The hardest was the eyeliner, but I managed to draw a reasonably straight line on each eyelid, and outline each eye with a black pencil. It was starting to get scary as the face I knew so well slowly became that of a cute girl! Mom was smiling while I was in shocked silence. Then she began to use her curling iron on my hair. Slowly but surely she made my mop of hair into a style that was not only feminine, but enhanced my face! That done, she wrapped a bra around me and fastened it in the front, drawing my fleshy chest up and into the cups, which she then padded with some small foam shoulder pads from one of her dresses. Next came the waist nipper that took my pudgy waist and made it a trim 26 inches! The slip was short and white with lace trimming. The dress she had selected from Carol's closet was dark green. The sheath dress was at mid thigh on me, maybe higher because I'm a bit taller than my sister. The vee neck and no sleeves made me look thinner, and there was no doubt that I had a feminine figure.
Without warning, mom used a pin to pierce my one unpierced ear, then slipped a large gold hoop into each lobe. A thin gold necklace went around my neck, then she handed me the shoes. I stepped into the black heels and let her move me to the mirror. My greatest fear had come true. I looked just like a girl. All traces of the face I knew so well were gone.

"Shall we go?"

"Mom…do I have to do this? I mean, just look at me!"

"Yes, I know. You're quite lovely. You should be very happy."

"But they'll think that I…"

"They will think that you're very pretty, and that's all! But maybe we should find a name for you when you're dressed this way. I'm certain that you won't want to use your own name. Do you have any suggestions?"

I gave it a minutes thought, then said "Janet", because I don't know any girls by that name. Mom merely nodded her head, took my hand, and led me out of the room. With my heels clicking on the hardwood floor I felt as if I were walking the last mile to my death. I was both ashamed, and inwardly happy, that I looked this way. Happy because I didn't look like a clown, and ashamed because I looked this way! We walked into the familyroom together, and drew immediate gasps from the girls, a shocked "oh no" from my father, and a grin from my mother.

"Everyone, this is Janet."

It was all I could do to stand there quietly and let them stare at me. Shelly, my waitress sister stood up and walked over to me. Her eyes looked me over from head to toe and back, then she smiled at me!

"The way you look? I'll have more tip money than I ever got! You look fantastic! I can hardly wait until Jenny sees you! She'll probably not want you on as a cheerleader!"

It was all I could do to stand there like that. Every instinct in my body was telling me to haul ass and change clothes as quickly as possible, but of course, no matter how much he might dislike it, my father would make me stand by my word, so there I stood. Carol wasn't grinning quite as much now that she has seen me, while both Michelle and Shelly looked at me carefully. The girls wanted me to go with them, to some hamburger joint I guess, but mom said no. My tenure as a girl didn't officially start until Monday, and "besides" she said, "She needs a few things of her own." All of the girls understood, but it went right over my head. My parents told the girls to leave, then mom told me what she meant.
"We don't share underwear, Janet. You and I are going shopping and get you a few things you'll need, like panties of your own, probably two bras, and if we can find it, a padded pantybrief of your own. That way you won't have to use washrags to have hips. I'll get you a handbag and we can go."

That was it. No discussion, no questions, nothing. I was going with her and that's all there was to it! Mom returned with a small black shoulder bag, handed it to me, and headed for the door, only stopping to make sure I was following her. I didn't like it, but I did it. That first step outside was terrible, and I quickly got in the car, and saw mom laughing at me!
"Quit worrying so much about this! You look just delicious, and if someone didn't know, they never would unless you tell them, or give it away. Walk with me, take the same step I do, hold your elbows in and use your hands more. Stand up straight and act like you belong there, and you'll be fine. This might last a while Janet, so you might as well get used to it. Who knows? Maybe you'll end up liking it!"

Mom was way off base there, but I said nothing. At the mall it was all I could do to get myself out of the car, but as soon as we walked inside I started to freeze up, really. Mom gently took my arm, and started walking, and I had no choice but to follow her. She was walking normally, and I had no trouble keeping up with her. Only my pace was wrong. We went into lingerie, and mom picked up a couple of packages of panties and two bras, without asking me if I liked them or not. Because we now had what she said I needed, I expected to leave, but no. She went into the shoe department, pointing out that I would need to have some very comfortable shoes to work in at the restaurant, plus shoes for school and pair of gym shoes for cheerleading. The guy never batted an eye as I tried on the shoes for fit, although I'm pretty sure he tried to look up my dress once. From there mom took me to one of those makeup shops where they redid my makeup and mom bought what they used. As good as I looked when mom helped me do my makeup, I looked twice as good now. There wasn't one trace of my beard at all. I also had the feeling that my mother wasn't done yet, and I was right. She took me into the dress shop where I also bought two dresses and two skirts with blouses to match, and later, at a specialty lingerie shop called Freddie's, a padded pantybrief and a pair of breastforms! I
was thoroughly embarrassed when mom dragged me into the changing room to try on those breastforms, but she said they were perfect, and I left wearing them.

By the time we got home I had lost most of my fear of being in public, but quite not all. Dad wasn't home when we got there and I assumed that I would be able to change, and I was right, but not into my jeans. Mom wanted me to try on both dresses and skirts. She unzipped me and I went to my room, put the first dress on, and went into shock. I had not realized how low the vee neck front was when we bought it, and the twin mounds of my brand new breasts could clearly be seen swelling against the bra! I zipped it up, and because mom demanded it, I went back to the familyroom, and there sat dad, my sister, mom, and Shelly! After we all stared at each other for a moment, I walked and posed for everyone, trying to camp it up a little.

Shelly held up a plastic bag that had uniforms like the ones she wore in it. Four of them, all in my size.

"I cleared it with my boss, Janet. I told him you were filling in for me, but I didn't tell him you're a guy. You look so good that he wouldn't have believed me anyway. He gave me these for you to wear. Here's my schedule. Girl, you look hot! See you tomorrow in school."

I took the bag and watched her leave, that sinking feeling in my gut again. Mom told me that I might as well stay dressed for the rest of the day, so I did, and that night she set out what I would wear to school the next day. A skirt and blouse with pantyhose, ankle socks and flats. I was told to be up early so she could help me do my hair and makeup. She also tossed me a nightgown, a nylon one. I had a hard night filled with dreams of taunts, but strangely, also having some of the guys hitting on me!

Mom helped me get ready, which didn't take as long this time, since I knew what I had to do, but the skirt was a lot shorter than I realized, and once again I had a lot of leg showing. Mom gave me the same purse, this time it was filled with my wallet, a lipstick, a small bottle of perfume, and some tissue. She also reminded me not to forget it. I drove to school with more than a little apprehension, but I was on my way, and there was no return. Especially after I set one foot in the school. After that it would be what it would be. As I walked in I was a bit surprised that nobody stared at me, and I went to my first class. Nobody even bothered to look at me, until I sat down in my regular chair, which set off a few gasps. Just then the teacher came in and took roll call. When she got to my name, I expected to hear my male name, but she didn't miss a beat when she asked for Janet. "Here" I said, and she went on as if it was the most normal thing in the world, but it wasn't! The fact that she knew what name I was using told me that someone, probably my mother, had called and told her in advance of my appearance.

I got a lot of looks, but nobody said a word, because they wouldn't dare, not in class anyway. On the way to my next class however, it was an entirely different thing. My best friend, Greg, stood there looking at me like I was an alien.

"Holy Cow! You look just like a…I mean you're beauti…what I mean to say is, you don't look like I thought you would!"

"You should try it from my side of this, Greg!"

"No thanks! Let me walk with you to your next class."

I thought he might take my hand for a minute, and so did he, but we both pulled away. It was like that all day. Gaping stares from the guys, but the girls weren't giggling at me either. The boys always had their eyes wide open when they saw me, but only Greg talked to me. By the time lunch came around I was used to it, and simply sat at a table by myself. I was quickly joined by Shelly and my sister.

"This isn't working out the way we planned, Janet. You simply look too damned good!"

"Does this mean you want me to stop?"

"No, but we never expected you to look so good, either. What I'm saying is, you're very pretty, and I'm glad that you decided to do this. Not many boys would do it."

There wasn't anything for me to say to that. Nobody but mom had told me I was pretty, unless you count Greg, and he choked on it. It was easier somehow after that. I went home after school and changed into the uniform Shelly gave me, and drove to the restaurant. The owner, Gladys, wasn't expecting a boy in a dress, so she gave me a quick run through, assigned me some tables, and I went to work. After just a few hours my legs were killing me, and I'm glad mom made me buy these shoes, or I would have died I think. I made $20 in tips, which I stashed in my purse before I went home at 8. I undressed, took a shower, then did my homework. I had no trouble sleeping that night.

It was like that every day for the next three days. Then it happened. One of the guys, an acquaintance, asked me out! He actually asked me out to the show for Saturday! I was so shocked that I didn't answer him, but ran to my next class. Greg, who sat next to me, asked me if Stan had asked me out. When I looked at him, all he did was smile and shrug his shoulders.

"He thinks you're hot, and asked me if he should ask you. I told him you might say no."

"But why me? There are plenty of girls here, Greg! I'm not a girl and everyone knows it!"

"True, but have you looked in the mirror lately? You look more like a girl than some of the girls do! You're even starting to act like one lately, what with the limp wristed hand waving and all that. For my money, I think you should go, just to piss off Shelly and your sister. Especially Carol, since she's been after Stan for a long time now."

That was true. And it would be a slap at my sister. The more I thought about it, the more I thought Greg was right. After class I found Stan and told him I would be happy to go with him. He said he would be over at seven. Now all I had to do was break the news to mom. There was no way I would tell dad, zero chance. I'll let mom tell him. Friday was hectic at the restaurant, and I didn't get home until almost midnight. In the morning I slipped on a bra, clean panties, then a tee shirt and my jeans before I went to eat breakfast. Mom was there all alone. I had my coffee and was munching on a roll when she asked me what I was going to wear that night.

"What?"

"For your date. What did you plan on wearing?"

"A skirt and blouse, why? And how did you know about it?"

"Carol was very angry when she told me, Janet. Apparently the boy that asked you out is the same one she wanted to date."

"I had nothing to do with that, mom. I didn't even know about it until Stan asked me out, and even then I had to think about it before I said yes. Now I'm thinking I should call it off."

"You can do that of course, but if you do you'll spend a lot of time at home alone, and seven months is a long time Janet. You have to face it, honey. You're very pretty, and boys are going to be attracted to you regardless, and some, like Stan will ask you out. Now, if you want to be with me and dad all the time from now until the end of the year, that's fine, but I was thinking that you and I would go to the salon and get our hair done today. You need your nails attended to, and a better cut will make it easier for you to take care of. How about it? Are you Janet? Or are you just a boy in a dress?"

"I'm not a girl, mother."

"True, but that wasn't the question. Are you Janet?"

I know it was weak, but mom was right. "Yes" I said.

"Alright, then. Go put some makeup on and we'll go."

I had never been in a salon before, so I had no idea what to expect, but my mom was her usual efficient self, and I was soon in a chair, getting my hair washed, then styled. The girl cut it short I thought, but after she stuck me under the dryer, another girl came over and did my nails, making them longer with rounded ends, then painting them a soft red color that has some metalflake in it. When the stylist was done I had a curly pageboy that accented my oval face just right, and those longer nails made my hands look slimmer, more feminine. I really liked the way I looked with that haircut, then, all of a sudden, I felt more like a girl than I had since this all started! On the way out of the salon mom told me that as long as we were out, we might as well take the time to expand my wardrobe a bit more. My first buy was a red and white corsolet with matching panties, then two more dresses, a suit, and two more skirts with tops. I also bought heels in taupe and navy. I found myself enjoying the fact that mom and I were shopping together, and after a week in skirts, I was aware of the hem length now. I still bought the shorter skirts or dresses, but I knew what it meant. Around three mom and I went home, and I went right past dad without a word, up to my room, and put things away. I did not hear mom telling him I had my hair and nails done, or the ensuing argument.

I was ready to go within a few hours. I had a bubble bath, which I found out that I liked a lot, then a shower and a close shave. I had redone my makeup, and changed into a pleated tan skirt with a dark brown pullover top that fit well enough that my breasts were well defined. Earrings and a watch, a thin beaded necklace, and my taupe heels. I did my lipstick in red to match my nails polish, then added a spritz of perfume. I had never worn perfume before, but it seemed like the right thing to do. I walked into the familyroom like always, and drew immediate stares from dad.

"Your hair!"

"Don't you like it? I think it makes me look a little better, and they told me it would be easier to take care of."

"You had your nails done as well. Just how long will it take to get those off?"

"Dad, this is going to last seven months! Even you agreed to that, so I had the acrylic nails put on! They don't come off!"

"You look…like a girl now, dammit!"

"That's the idea isn't it? You told me to honor my word, and I did! Then I found out that this was going to last a lot longer than I thought, so, if I have to dress this way, why can't I look nice? I don't want to spend the next seven months looking like a clown, or stay at home all the time! Is that what you want me to do?"

Dad was in a corner now and he knew it. I had done nothing except honor my word, just like he told me to. The problem is that I turned out looking pretty good, then I found out that I didn't really mind wearing a skirt at all. In fact, at the salon, when I saw myself for the first time, after my styling, I realized that I wouldn't mind staying this way. I just wasn't going to say it out loud. I let the facts say it for me, which is of course, why dad is so angry. There wasn't anything he could do about it. When he found out I had a date, he actually growled, but bit his tongue when mom also told him that I shouldn't have to stay at home the whole time. I had a few hours before Stan would be over to get me, so I simply sat on the couch to watch television. A little later the doorbell rang, and when I opened the door, I saw Jenny standing there!

"Hi. I thought I would stop by so we could talk a bit."

I grabbed her hand and walked out on the patio, shutting the door behind us.

"Some of the girls on the squad, well, they're wondering if you were going to practice with us."

"I have to work for Shelly after school every day for a month Jenny, so I don't see how I can, and I still have two weeks left on my bet with her."

"We understand, Janet, and that's why we were thinking that we'll let you slide on being a cheerleader, but you would have to continue dressing this way, just as if you were a cheerleader, which means it'll be for the same length of time. Either way, the result is the same. You'll be in dresses."

In my mind, I knew that arrangement this would work out fine. Gladys had asked me to stay on, even when Shelly returned, which meant that I would be making about $200 a week, that I could keep, so I agreed without any further thought. Jenny is one of the best looking girls in the school, which is the reason she is the head cheerleader. Smart and beautiful. That defines Jenny nicely.

"When Stan told me that he asked you out, I wasn't that surprised, were you?"

"You bet! Your brother never had any trouble getting a date before, so I wondered if it might be a setup of some kind, but I couldn't figure out what more could happen to me. He knows I'm not a girl, and that bothered me for a while, but rather than sit home all the time I decided to do it, and accepted."

"It's not a set up Janet, you're all he talks about. How pretty you are, your great legs, and he says you have a smile that won't quit. No, girl, he's in love. Can't you see that?"

"But I never…I'm not a girl! He can't be in…you must be mistaken, Jenny!"

"Oh no I'm not. I know my own brother, Janet, and believe me, he may know you're not a girl, but he has pushed it so far down into that brain of his that he can't even see it! All of us kids have seen you every day for over two weeks now, and whether you know it or not, you have started to act like a girl, walk like a girl, and believe me, you look like a girl in every way. Especially with that soft perm and those acrylic nails you have on. And if you try to tell me you don't like being dressed as a girl, I'll have to call you a liar. You wouldn't have let those things be done if you didn't like being thought of as a girl."

I hate it when somebody can see right through you, and Jenny had done just that. According to her, some, if not a lot, of the other kids, had figured it out as well. But so far, nobody has said a word to me about it, not even those Neolithic fools every school has. But how had this happened in such a short time? I mean, before this I was like every guy in school. I was hoping to get into some girls pants, I just never expected to be wearing them! Now, Jenny tells me it's obvious that I like being a girl. I looked at her, trying to find a way to deny what she had told me, but the words would not rise to my lips, which she noticed. When she smiled at me, I had to swallow hard and try not to smile back. That would only confirm what she already knew.

"This should be an interesting school year, Janet. Based on the changes we've seen so far, I'll bet that within a month, darn few kids will even remember you were once a boy, including you. Just remember this about the boys. They all have one thing on their minds when it comes to girls, and it isn't friendship. That specifically includes Stan!"

"But I'm not going to do anything, Jenny! How could I? I mean, well, you know what I mean!"

"There are a lot of things that you can do for a guy without going that far, Janet. Don't be so naíve."

"Not that either, Jenny! No way!"

She dropped the subject, then asked me if I wanted to join her and a few of the other girls for a get together on Sunday at 2. I said I would try to be there, and she went home, leaving me to wonder if it was true. Had I become so much like a girl that I have begun to act like one? Would I become so much a girl that everyone would forget the real me? Would I be able to return to the male I am? Or would I simply remain as a girl? I went to my room, stood in front of the mirror, and tried to find the answer. My oval face, now framed by the waves set in by the perm, the makeup that made me look so feminine, and my figure, all combined to cast doubt in my mind. I didn't look like a boy in any way, unless I undressed. Dad still doesn't like the fact that I look this way, but he has quit harping about it at least, while mom has taken to thinking of me as her daughter. Right now my figure is all foam rubber with a bit of silicone thrown in. What, I wondered to myself, if I could make it seem that it was all me? Would that make a difference? Jenny and the squad had actually given me a break by not making me try to do those jumps and baton twirling, but I still had to wear the clothes for the same amount of time, and seven months is a very long time. Maybe she's right. By then, maybe nobody will remember that I am a boy. I looked in the mirror again, then decided that I might as well try to do my best, and if they all think I'm a girl, well, I'll decide what to do then. In the mean time, I decided to check out the Web, and see what was available to help a boy like me look like a girl.

What I found astounded me! I found several fiction sites that had a lot of stories about boys just like me! I downloaded a few, then in another search, I found a site that seemed to carry everything a girl like me would need, from a very special panty to breastforms that would be custom made just for me! The prices didn't seem that outlandish, but I didn't have a credit card, so that meant that I would have to use snail mail and a money order. I downloaded the instructions, folded them and put them in my purse. I made a note to stop at the art store in the morning. Then I read the stories. Some were pure trash, but a few hit me right where I live. In more than one case the main character, like me, had found himself stuck in the role of a female. Several very interesting hints made me take notice, and I highlighted them for later use, then I started to get ready for my very first date.

Dad was apoplectic when Stan arrived, but he tried to hide it and was polite. Stan led me out to his car, then drove us to the show. I wanted to ask him what the hell was going on, but didn't. If what Jenny had told me was true, he wouldn't be able to tell me anyway, so I let it drop. He and I saw the show, then stopped at a burger place for drinks. He was polite all evening, and didn't do anything more than hold my hand, so I wasn't ready when he took me home, and before I could get out of the car, I felt him pulling me close, then the gentle touch of his lips on mine! I broke away and ran in the house. Stan had kissed me, and I let him. I was afraid of what that meant. I went to bed with the taste of him on my lips, a shiver in my spine, and a feeling that it could have gone further if I had not run in the house.

In the morning dad merely asked me if I had a good time, while mom asked me if I had any plans, since it was my day off. I told them I was going to Jenny's at 2, but I had a few errands before that. I ate, then went to change. Mom had insisted that I don't wear any slacks, so I wore a skirt and blouse with my gym shoes. Then I left for the art store. Finding the right color for my skin was a pain, but with the help of a mirror, I managed, then wrote down the numbers. I had decided not to tell anyone what I was going to do until I saw just how well the items looked. The instructions said that using the colors of a certain company they could match the skin tone better, which is why I was at the art store! I arrived at Jenny's about fifteen minutes early, but she let me in, and we went to her bedroom. About ten minutes later two other girls showed up. Rachel is a tall dark haired girl with a wickedly wonderful smile and a very healthy body. Jill is about average in looks and build, but her dad has a lot of money so she always tends to be on the best teams or in the best clubs.

"I told Janet what we decided, and she has agreed, which makes her a de facto member of the squad, and I want to let her join us when we have our special outings. Anyone disagree?"

"Does that include the really special outings?"

"Of course, Rachel! Why shouldn't she join us?"

"I don't care, I was just asking, that's all."

"She'll have to get a uniform, Jenny."

"No, Jill, she doesn't. Janet doesn't practice or perform with us, we're just making her part of the squad, like a…an associate member."
They all looked at me, but I didn't have any idea what they were talking about. Jenny explained it to me.

"Once in a while we all get together, like a pajama party, or a girls night out. Once we even managed to get into that strip club downtown. You interested?"

If they were asking me to join them, that meant that I had been accepted as a girl! I nodded my head, and they all hugged me. Then we all went to the mall for some therapeutic shopping. By the time I got home I never felt as feminine as I did right then. Just the way the girls treated me, like I was one of them, had made me realize even more strongly, that I didn't mind being a girl at all. I will admit that the thought of seeing 12 semi naked girls at a pajama party crossed my mind, but I knew in my heart that before I would ever do that, I would have to look like they did, so it wouldn't make any difference. I would be one of them, a girl. In my room I filled out the form, and after using a measuring tape, wrote down the before measurements, and the hoped for after sizes.

In school it was like any other day, except that I didn't feel like a pervert, and none of the kids were staring at me now. My friend Greg however was staying away, and I didn't know why, because with his big mouth, it could have easily been him that made the bet instead of me. The teachers all used my name--Janet--when they referred to me now, and I had been exempted from gym classes for the obvious reasons. The coach even told me that if he let me use the locker room most of the guys wouldn't be able to do pushups without hurting themselves! I had to giggle at that. The class they put me in instead of PE was sewing! It was the only opening they had, and I was forced to take it for the credit. Mom thought it was funny while dad thought it was stupid. After three classes however, I saw that I could buy clothes that maybe fit well enough, but needed to be shorter or taken in a bit, and I could do it!

My time filling in for Shelly was over on Friday night, and I wasn't scheduled to start working for myself until Monday, so after school I withdrew the money I needed, and sent in my order for the special items. According to the web site it would take about ten days. That night I tried on one of my own uniforms, had mom help me, and made the hem shorter and took it in at the waist. Dad watched me sewing for a bit, then stomped off. I was not his idea of a son any longer, but there wasn't one darned thing I could do about it, and he knew it. That's what got him. Mom told me to ignore him, then, after he had left the room, she sat down and asked me how I felt about dressing as a girl. What should I tell her?
"You like it, Janet. That much is obvious. Now the question is how much?"

I decided to tell her exactly how much, and told her to wait while I went to get something. I went to my room and took the full color pictures I had printed out of my dresser, and the three stories with the highlighted portions, then returned to her sewing room. Without a word I showed them to her, let her read the text, and simply waited. Her eyes went first wide, then narrow, and wide again as she looked up at me.

"And this means?"

"I ordered this, this, and this mom. They should be here sometime next week. But if the panty doesn't fit I can send it back, and maybe you can do this for me."

I pointed to the highlighted text and she read it.

"I see. Well, alright, that answers the question of do you like it, but this says that you can have some sort of sex with this panty! I don't want you to find out if it works Janet, understand?"

"Yes, ma'am. But if that's the case, why not do the other for me?"

"No, I'll let you wear this panty, but no fooling around, and I mean it!"

Neither mom nor I told dad about the items. I went to school on Monday as usual, then went to work. Shelly was a bit surprised to see me there, and asked me about it. I told her what Jenny had said about my status as a cheerleader, and that Gladys had asked me to stay on. She also commented on my uniform fitting so well. I simply told her I altered them myself for a better fit, and she dropped it. She and I talked a bit, but it was clear that her bet wasn't turning out like she thought it would. I had turned out looking okay, done her job well enough to get one of my own, I could sew and she couldn't, and Stan had asked me out. Altogether, she knew I had come out on top.

On Thursday I went home right after school to see if the items had arrived. They had, so mom and I went to my room so I could put them on. It took both of us almost an hour to get me into them, but it was worth it. I now had two very pert breasts on my chest that looked as if I grew them myself, and the panty, which had a built in vagina and padding to make my hips in proportion. From any angle I was now a female, from the top of my head to the ground! When I got dressed all of my lingerie fit better, and for the first time I felt the weight of a breast as it pulled on my chest. The bra gave me a modest but definite cleavage, and I felt complete for some reason. Mom watched me as I got dressed, and saw the way the bra fit now. With the low, well padded cups, my boobs were almost straight out! Mom said that I would need new bras now, and for me to get dressed. Then she and I went shopping. I bought four new bras, only one of them had any padding in it, but with a normal bra, I had an impressive bustline now. My measurements were 36-25-36, with a B cup bra. I loved it while mom merely gave me a smile. I also bought a nightgown that was short, semi sheer, and had a robe. I had plans to shock dad that night.

After dinner, mom winked at me, so I went to my room and changed into the nightgown. It's black, so I wore the black thong panties that came with it. Tonight was the night I let dad know just how much I liked being a girl. Looking in the mirror I could just see the twin mounds of my breasts as they strained against the thin material, and smiled to myself. I slipped into the padded slippers and left the room. I walked right past mom and into the familyroom, past dad, who looked up, and almost made it to the couch.

"Janet!"

I turned to face him directly, and he could see for himself how I looked.

"What have you done to yourself! You…you…"

"I look like a girl now, dad. It'll be easier on me, so I might as well, don't you think so?"

Tweaking him like that was dangerous, but he was so busy looking at my breasts that he wasn't thinking straight.

"Fasten that robe up and sit down! You may have to dress as a girl, but why do you have to have those! You're even starting to talk like a girl now! I give up!"

Dad left the room and went into his office, leaving mom and I alone. I went to bed satisfied that I had made my point.
School and work kept me busy, but Stan asked me out again, and I went with him. This time he parked on a shady street, and when he kissed me, I didn't pull away. It got hot and heavy, but nothing happened, and when I went to bed that night, I knew that I would not return to my manhood. My days as a girl blossomed as Jenny and the squad kept their word, and I was included in many of the special outings, including a pajama party. I know what they thought, so I took the black babydoll. When we all changed, I felt seven pair of eyes on me, and turned to face them, naked of course. Without a word I slipped on the babydoll, leaving them to wonder how I did it.

Gladys went on vacation, and I was left in charge, so, as hostess, I was able to wear normal clothes, set the schedules and so on. Shelly and I had become good friends by then, and I made sure she got the times she wanted. Dad has finally accepted the obvious, but I had to help him one more time. The panty comes with a small packet that lets me simulate a menstrual period, so I used one without wearing a pad. Dad really freaked out when he saw the blood, but I cleaned up and returned wearing a pad. He never said another word about it after that. Graduation is two months away, but my time from the bet is over next week. I don't plan on changing back, but then again, I don't think anyone will care.
Stan is taking me to the Prom of course, and I intend to see if the panty will work as advertised. From a wart of a boy to a woman, that bet was the best thing that ever happened to me, and being a waitress? Well, I meet the nicest people that way.

A Pink and White Dress

Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]

If you were to say that I was scared, you would be right. I stood there completely dressed as girl, complete from the skin out, including panties, white pantyhose, a bra stuffed with socks, and a party style dress that did nothing but scream femininity. Pink, with white lace trim, short enough to reveal my knees, pushed out by the three petticoats enough to make it sway with every step I took. My hair, once tightly bound in a manly ponytail lay on my head in a mass of ringlets, held in place by the at the back of my head by a large pink bow, letting the ringlets cascade down the back. Pink and white earrings dangled from my earlobes while my face was made to look perfect for a girl. Reddish pink lipstick and a perfume, left me feeling very silly, but mom had made me wear this stuff, and I could not stop her. When I looked in the mirror, my only reaction was Damn! I didn't look bad as a girl, but that dress would have to go, that's for sure!

I had committed no crime, had not breached her trust in any way, yet taking the word of a stranger, she believed that I had done just that, and as a punishment, I was made to dress that way. I was taken to the familyroom where mom took some pictures of me, then I was taken by car to the person that had accused me. The woman, when she saw me, almost broke down in tears, then admitted that another boy had done it, telling me that she was very sorry and all that. Mom gave her what for, and in no uncertain terms demanded that the woman pay for everything I had on, plus something for me, because I had been humiliated. The woman wrote mom a very generous check, and we left for home. On the way…

"I'm sorry honey, I really am, but she sounded so sure it was you!"

"I told you where I was, and you didn't even check!" I was angry. "No…the very first thing you did was assume that I was guilty, and make me wear this…this…get up!"

"I know' mom said with a sigh, "I should have believed you, I was wrong, I'm sorry." We didn't say anything for as bit, then, "But you look just darling as a girl, you do know that don't you? I mean, if you looked like a girl more your age, then perhaps…"

"No way mom! I'm not going to do this…ever again!"

"I just thought that I would mention it, that's all, but if you don't mind, I would really like you stay dressed like this until it's time for bed. Would you do that for me?" I looked at mom with a whole lot of doubt, but…"you don't have to go outside, and I won't let anyone see you, if that's what's bothering you."

"Why?" I asked, "should I do that for you? You wouldn't believe me when I told you the truth, and you know that I don't lie to you! Now, you want me to dress this way all day?"

"You don't have to" mom said, "I just think you look quite pretty as a girl, and I thought you did too."

"Not wearing this get up I won't!"

As soon as I said that I knew that I had screwed up, because mom said that was fine, she had something else I could wear, just for that one day mind you, and without even thinking about it, I had inadvertently said I would do it! The minute we got home, mom helped me out of that dress and the petticoats, then slipped another dress over my head and zipped it up. It was also pink with white trim, but it looked just like the dresses I had seen the girls in school wear. Mom handed me another pair of shoes, so I slipped my feet into them, and once again looked in the mirror. What I saw there scared me, not because the girl was stone ugly, but just the opposite! Mom changed my hair, brushing it out with a part down the middle of my head, then left the room, telling me that dinner would be ready at five. I stayed there, looking in the mirror, shocked at the way I looked. "Not bad" I thought, then tried to dismiss the very idea that I looked nice as a girl, afraid to admit, even to myself, that it wasn't that bad. I thought about staying in my room, but I had almost five hours to kill before dinner, so I went into the familyroom to watch television.

Mom was sitting there knitting, and didn't say a word as I sat down and clicked on the television. When it came on, and by chance, or my rotten luck, one of the most popular afternoon shows came on, featuring of all things, boys that wanted to be girls! As much as I wanted to change it, I didn't, because I wanted to see how other boys my age looked as girls. When the first one came out I almost choked. She, and there was no other word for her, looked beautiful! She had blond hair, blue eyes, and wore hip hugger pants with a tube top with short heels. She was gorgeous! The next girl that came out was a brunette, taller than the first with a fuller body, but just as cute. She wore a skirt and blouse. The third girl was also a blonde, and wore a pink suit jacket with a gray skirt. Their ages were 15, 17, and 15 respectively. I was drawn to the screen, and listened intently as each one explained how and why they felt like girls, then their mothers came on in support of their sons. The boys, the way they were dressed, all looked like their mothers. They talked about how they started, showing pictures of themselves at young ages, then the mothers detailed how they helped make their sons into girls. The host, known for her understanding ways, listened, amazed at how feminine all of the boys were. All of the girls modeled various clothes, and not once did any of them exhibit any sign that they were boys!

When the show was over, mom and I looked at each other, saying nothing, but considering what we had just seen, and the way I was dressed, we both knew that we had learned something. But as much as I had said no to dressing in girls clothes, it was only that little girl stuff that I hated. I kind of liked the way I looked in the outfit I had on, and was pretty sure that nobody would know who I was if I went out. Just that one admission, even to myself, caused me to wonder if I was going crazy, yet I felt a sort of strange feeling come over me when we had seen those girls on television. I had been comparing myself to them, and thought that with just a little more help, I would look just as good, but I just couldn't say that, not to mom anyway. But the way she was staring at me, well, I think that she knew what I was thinking. About an hour later mom casually mentioned that she was willing, if I was, to buy me a few more outfits, saying to me…"you would be just as darling as those girls we saw on television, if you're willing to try it that is." Why mom wanted to have me dress as a girl aside, and after having seen myself wearing a dress just like that some of my classmates wore, I couldn't say that she was wrong.

But for me to agree would diminish my vision of my own masculinity, what little I had of it anyway, and while I discovered that wearing a dress wasn't that bad, just how could I say that to her? The question of why mom had suggested it lingered, nagging at me. As I sat there, my knees together and my hands on my lap, I wondered once again how I would look, if I did agree to go all out. If I did say yes, that might satisfy the strange feelings I was having about the way I looked wearing a dress, but what about mom?

"Ummm…mom?"

"Yes dear?"

"What made you" I said, "say that I would be just as pretty as those girls we saw? Is that what you want me to do? Dress like a girl? Why? I mean, you know that I didn't do anything wrong, that woman told you that, so I was wondering why you bought this dress for me. I mean, that first one, well that was punishment, but this one isn't, and you bought it anyway, kind of like you knew what would happen. Now your suggesting that I do it again! Why?"

Mom sat back for a moment, then sat straight up. "It's not that I want to turn you into a girl, if that's what you're thinking, I like having a son. But when I was looking for a way to punish you, and after I had bought that little girl outfit, I saw the dress you have on, and just couldn't resist! I bought the shoes to match, just in case, and the minute I saw you in the dress you have on, I could not help but wonder what it would be like to have a daughter, just for a little while, maybe even just once a month say, but I would never demand that you do it, I just suggested it. That said, think about this for a moment. You're 14 now, and haven't grown one inch since last year, while all of your friends have gotten taller, wider, and filled out. Heck, your friend Thomas is shaving now! You try out for every sport they have, and as yet, you have failed to make the team even once! That's not your fault, it's a fact of life! To prove my point, I want you to stand up, go over to the tall mirror, and tell me that you look anything like a boy right now."

I did what she told me, and like before, I saw that it was true. I didn't look like myself, just a sort of girlish me, not exactly cute, but still…

"All" mom said as she walked up behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders, "I mean is, and I really hate to say this, you certainly look wonderful as a girl, and sadly, maybe a bit better looking as a girl than a boy, and it's something that maybe we could try. I'll even let you help me pick out another outfit for you."

The other stuff mom said was true as well. All of my friends had grown bigger, while I had remained the same size. I stared at my reflection, still unwilling to admit that I had a growing attraction to the girl I saw in the mirror. If I did say that, mom would probably understand, then again, she might just take it into her head to do something crazy. Mom and I stood there for a moment as we both thought about what was happening to us, me in particular. Mom said that she wanted a daughter, part time anyway, and I discovered wasn't that much against it! I must have grinned, because…

"What?" mom asked, "what's so funny?"

As much as my boyish pride had not let me admit that I could not compete with my friends, I had never quit trying, which let me maintain my ego intact. I might fail, but it wouldn't be for lack of trying. Then I saw myself as a girl. All my life I had been a boy, with no thought about dressing as a girl, yet when I had been forced into it, something came over me, something unexplainable, strange, and at the same time, wearing that dress and seeing myself in it made me feel as if I had found a new direction, a new way to fit in. All I had to do was swallow my pride and tell mom how I felt, but rules would have to be in place, or who knows what could happen, so...

"If I agree to do this" I said in a confident tone, "then you have to get me everything I need to do it right. Otherwise I'll be the laughing stock around here. Plus, you can't force me to get dressed up. You can ask, but not force me. If I decide to get dressed on my own, I'll accept help from you of course, but like I said, if I do it on my own, then you have to agree to never let on that I'm a boy, or try to embarrass me. I'll do it, for you of course, because you said that you want a daughter part time, and that's the only reason…okay?"

"Okay" mom said with a smile, "But I have some conditions too. When you are dressed as a girl, you'll have to do your very best to act like one, and I'll help you with that. As you say, if you do get dressed on your own, I will not, and I strongly agree on this point, embarrass you in any way, but I will add that I wouldn't do that at any time, ever, no matter what happens. We will just have to muddle through it, but if you act like a girl, and I say that you're my daughter, how can anyone refute that? Is that alright with you?"

Of course, I said yes, sure that I had the upper hand. If I wanted to become a girl, then I could, and mom could not force me to wear a dress. Then again, I had not planned as well as I thought, which would come to haunt me later on, but right then, I felt that I had won. Almost as soon as we agreed, mom suggested that we go out to the store and find me some more clothes, since, as she reminded me, I had insisted that she "get me everything I need to do it right". For the first time, I had an inkling that perhaps, maybe, I had not been as clever as I imagined myself to be. Mom touched up my makeup, handed me the lipstick, waiting until I put it on my lips, then handed me a purse, and walked to the door.

I had set the rules, and had to face the results, meaning that I had to go with mom and help pick out a new wardrobe for myself! But it was broad daylight, and a lot of my friends would be outside, and that gave me the chills just thinking what would happen, when, not if, they saw me dressed that way. Mom waved me onward, and I reluctantly stepped outside, walking to the car, then trying to hunker down as mom drove down the street. Mom did not say anything at first, then told me to sit up straight, telling me that good posture was the first sign of a lady, and since our agreement demanded that I act like a girl at all times when I was dressed, she reminded me of it again. When we got to the store I got a bad case of the freeze ups, and just sat there while mom waited. Then, with maximum effort, I opened the car door, and stepped out into the bright sunlight. Mom walked towards the store, leaving me with no choice but to follow her.

Once inside, mom went straight to the lingerie department, picking out two more bras, two packages of panties, a slip, then a padded pantybrief. From there we went to look at dresses and skirts. By the time we left that area, I had three skirts, four blouses, two tops, a pair of girls jeans, two pairs of heels and two pairs of flats, three dresses, a nightgown, and then, just when I was sure that we were done, she stopped at the jewelry counter, insisting that I might as well have both ears pierced as one! I left the store with a pair of pink and gold earrings firmly embedded into my earlobes. Mom was smiling when we left the store, telling me that we had made a good start! Start? I thought, well, I was sure, that I had more than enough clothes, since it wasn't as if I would be wearing them every day!

When we got home mom wanted me to try everything on, including that padded pantybrief. Everything I tried on fit perfectly, and hung just right, because with the padded brief, I had hips and a rounder bottom. The last thing I tried on was the pleated navy skirt. I stepped into it, then zipped it up before I pulled on the white pullover top. Mom was ecstatic, and when I looked in the mirror I saw why. I had very shapely legs! The hem of the skirt was well above my knees, and that top was clinging to me, well enough to let my bra show right through it, even if faintly! Mom sat me at the vanity, and brushed my hair out a little, then let me look. Damned if I didn't look just as good as a lot of girls in my class! It was beyond my ability to stop it, and a wide smile appeared on my face. Mom said nothing for a moment, then reaffirmed our agreement, leaving me to wonder why she said that. I joined her, first in the kitchen, then, after some prodding, on the patio.

"You never did tell me what I should call you honey. Up to now, it hasn't been a problem, but…"

"I don't know mom, I like the name Carolyn, how about that?"

"That's nice dear. It suits you" she said, and went back to her knitting.

We sat there for a while, then I got up to get a soda, one for mom and one for me. When I walked outside I came face to face with my very best friend in the whole world. Halfway out the door, I couldn't run in the house, that would only make things worse, so I bravely walked out, handed mom her soda, and sat down at the table. Sweat ran down my back and my hands were shaking, but Tom did not seem to recognize me! He looked at me, smiled, then turned to mom and asked where I was!

"Thomas, this is Carolyn, she'll be staying here off and on for a while. I don't know where Kenny is at right now, but you're free to join us and wait if you like."

"Well" Tom said with a grin, "maybe for just a little while."

Frantic with worry, mom merely smiled at me and went back to her knitting, leaving me to cope with my predicament all alone. Tom, as he always did around girls, turned on the charm, then asked me if I might want to take a ride around the block, asking mom if it was okay. Mom saved me from total embarrassment when she told him that I better not. He stayed a bit longer, then left for home, without once giving me any idea that he knew who I was. When he left my heart returned to an almost normal beat, but I had to use the bathroom, real bad, so I ran in the house. Mom came in, laughing softly, which made me mad, since I was sure that she wanted Tom to know who I was. When I somewhat irately said something about it, mom, in a very calm manner, assured me that wasn't true.

"If you remember, I said that I would not embarrass you in any way. In fact, that was one of your own conditions! Not once did I try to embarrass you, and in fact, I could have told Tom that you were free to ride around with him, but didn't! And, I will remind you that one of MY conditions was that you would conduct yourself as a young lady at all times, which you did. I told you I would say that you are my daughter, but on the other hand, you simply cannot accuse me of trying to make a fool out of you every time someone sees you! You did very well when Tom was here, acting like most girls would around a boy, but I suspect that he'll be back tomorrow, or maybe some time later, looking for a girl named Carolyn. What do you plan on doing then? Are you going to blame me again when you get a case of the nerves?"

"No" I said somewhat morosely, "but Tom…he's my best friend! If he finds out, he'll tell everyone else, and I won't have any friends left!"

"Tom isn't like that and you know it! Instead of worrying about it so much, why not wait until tomorrow and see if he stops by? If he doesn't say anything, maybe you should just tell him yourself. That way he will at least get the truth."

"Yeah right mom! I can just imagine that conversation! "Gee Tom, that was me in that cute little navy skirt, I hope you don't mind, but I dress up as a girl once in a while."

"It won't be as bad as all that Carolyn."

"Not after he gets done beating me to a pulp it won't!"

"Carolyn! Stop that right this instant! You and Thomas have known each other almost since birth! You two have shared clothes, beds, food, and heaven knows what else since then! He is virtually a brother to you, and wouldn't hurt you for anything! Now calm down, relax, and help me make dinner. Then you can change."

Well, I changed clothes alright, but the real test was coming in the morning, and I knew it. What I didn't realize was that the girl named Carolyn that Tom had met, had tweaked his interest, and worse, I realized, there hadn't been any time for her to have left! That meant that I would have to dress as a girl in the morning, just in case Tom came over, which knowing him like I do, was a sure bet. My heart sank when, the next morning, mom confirmed my worst fears, but told me that I did not have to dress as a girl if I didn't want to, telling me that she would find a way to keep my secret. Mom had stayed within our rules, but in her usual way, had adroitly left it up to me. My first instinct was to be myself, but that was not to be. Tom called before I left for my room, asking mom if Carolyn was there, and could she come riding with him.

"It's Tom. He wants Carolyn to go riding with him. You better tell me, because I cannot stall him forever honey."

Taking a terrible risk, I simply nodded my head yes, because I just couldn't see how I was going to get out of it. Mom told Tom to come over in an hour, then she took me to my room.

"Get some panties on while I get you something appropriate to wear." I did as mom said, then saw what she pulled out of the closet. "This is perfect! It's just as cute as can be, and will help hide your…not very girlish parts quite well. You'll just have to be careful how you sit down. Now lets get some makeup on you."

Actually, mom had me do my own makeup, using just foundation, and even that was very light, plus some blusher on my cheeks. The bra was small, but we stuffed it with nylons, then she held out the skirt. I stepped into it, then zipped it up, then gave me the white ankle socks to wear with my gym shoes. The skirt was pale blue with small pleats while the top was plain white, sleeveless and hugged me pretty tightly. The skirt was quite short, which mom said was fine for riding a bike, telling me that all I had to do was be careful not to show anyone my panties. Then she brushed out my hair, parting it down the middle, then making pigtails which she added small blue ribbons to. It made me look like I was six, and asked her to do something else, so she redid my hair into a ponytail, but had to trim my bangs with the scissors to make it look normal. I still had to wear a bow, but it was at the top of the ponytail, and didn't look to bad I guess. Once she was done, she handed me the soft red lipstick, told me to use it, then gave me a dash of perfume before she put a pair of earrings in my new holes. They were small blue and white bears.

"Mom? What do I tell Tom? Who am I?"

"That is entirely up to you. If it was me, I would simply tell him the truth. Who knows, maybe he'll see more of you, if that's possible, if he knows that you can become a girl".

The doorbell rang, then, "I'll use your bike, okay mom?"

"Of course honey. Now, I'll bet that's Tom at the door, so go let him in, and remember, be a good girl today."

I said nothing to that remark, and nervously went to open the door. Expecting Tom, I was surprised to see our neighbor standing there. Not wanting to make a fool out of myself any more than I was about to, I called out that "it's for you" without calling mom "mom", and went outside. There's nothing like a stomach full of fear to start the day, but with our neighbor there, I was probably safer outside than in, so I went to the garage and wheeled out mom's bike just as Tom rode up.

"Hi" he said, giving me his famous grin, "Lets go down this way. There's a pond down that way."

I knew where he was going, but I didn't say anything, simply following along on mom's bike. The skirt was short enough to cause me concern, especially when the wind blew it up, but I managed, and we were at the pond in a few minutes. Tom jumped off his bike and ran to the edge of the water, looking for fish, just like he always did. I put the bike down, and walked over to where he was.

"You know" he said without moving his head, "you're the prettiest girl on the block."

I was the ONLY girl on the block, and he knew it.

"Why didn't you tell me."

I knew what he meant, he knew who I was.

"I…I was afraid" I said, then sat on the ground, one leg under me so that panties wouldn't show.

"I knew when I saw you and your mom leaving yesterday. What's up with all this?"

So I told him, about how I was falsely accused and made to dress as a girl, then shamefully told him that I found out it wasn't so bad, wearing a dress I mean. Then I told him that after he showed up, I didn't think I could just disappear, Carolyn would have to leave first, and that's why I was dressed right then. With a grin he grabbed his bike, motioned to me, and we headed down the side street, turning at the corner. We rode around for about two hours, then, on the way back we stopped at the Dairy Place and got an ice cream cone, which he paid for. It was only a little way to the pond, so we carefully rode back there, and once again sat on the ground. I no longer felt quite as strange as I did when I left the house, and wearing a skirt and top simply quit being the center of my focus. Tom had bought the ice cream, a "treat for a pretty girl" he said, which gave me the willies at the time.

Tom had sat down next to me, but didn't touch me. We were close, but I never gave it any thought, merely enjoying the ice cream and being with my friend.

"You know Sarah?" Tom asked, "she's starting to be a real pain. She wants me to take her to the Slicer next week."

Sarah was an almost cute girl, the younger sister of Janet, who was dating Tom's cousin Mike. "Yeah, I know her. If you don't want to go with her, take someone else! It's easy!"

"That's what I was thinking" Tom said with a smile, "I'd like to take someone else… and I was thinking of you."

"What!" I said, almost jumping straight up. "You can't take me! One, I'm not a girl, and two, just look at me! Do I look like a girl? You're crazy Tom!"

"You need to look in the mirror Carolyn, because next to Sarah, you make her look like the guy in a dress! I'll bet that with some help from your mom, you would look terrific, and besides, you're my best friend aren't you? Don't best friends help each other when they're jammed up?"

"I'll think about it, but I'm not promising anything! If even one person found out who I really was, you know what would happen…don't you?"

"Just think about it" Tom said with a grin, "besides, what can happen? I'll be with you all evening! Do it for me…please!"

We rode back to my house, I went inside, while Tom went home. Mom must have known by the look on my face that something was troubling me, because she asked what it was. When I told her what Tom wanted me to do I started crying, which is when she hugged me.

"It's entirely up to you honey. I told you that it would always be your choice, but your crying only tells me that you have thought about it, and might even want to do it for Tom. If that's the case, then you have to tell me. I'm sure that we can find just the right party dress for you to wear, and I guarantee you that when I'm done with you, you'll be the prettiest girl at the dance, if you want to go as Tom's date that is." After a pause, "Are you thinking about it?"

Just how could I ever admit to mom that it was true? I had wore a skirt and top all day, and actually felt normal! If truth be told, I guess I didn't mind dressing as a girl quite as much as I thought I would, especially if I dressed my age. I looked up at mom, unable to say what I was feeling. Just a few days ago I was a normal if small guy, without the slightest thought of dressing as a girl, and never had as a matter of fact! Now, as I looked down, I saw the twin mounds of the tiny breasts and the skirt, I wondered why, all of a sudden, I not only didn't mind, I was actually beginning to like it! Mom had made it clear that it was my choice, but if I said yes, then she would demand that I do it right, whatever she thought that meant. To me, it meant that I would have to not only look like a girl, I would also have to act like a girl. Mom sat across from me, put her hand over mine, and waited, then…

"Honey, if you want to go change right now, and never become Carolyn again, that's fine with me, and you know that, but I have the suspicion that you like the way you look, more than you're admitting, plus, I'll bet that you have discovered something else about yourself, and that scares you." In her calm gentle voice, mom had spoken something that no real boy wanted to hear. "That's what's bothering you, isn't it? You found out that you like being a girl, don't you?"

I could not bring myself to say the words, yet, when my head nodded yes, I began to cry again. Mom sat there with me for a while, then together, she and I went to her bedroom so we could repair the damage to my makeup. While I was putting on my foundation, mom said, in sort of an offhand way, that if I had my hair styled it would make it easier for me to look like a girl, saying that she was confident that they could find a style that I could wear both ways. She made it sound so easy, and I wanted to say no, but looking in the mirror, I just couldn't. The girl that looked back at me was the girl I had become, and I knew, without any doubt at all, that I did not want her to disappear. I felt myself wanting to be that girl, and I wanted her to be pretty. When I was done with the makeup, mom asked me to tell her, exactly what it was that I wanted. She picked the wrong moment to ask me, because that's when I blurted out that I wanted to be a girl!

"It's way to early" mom said, "to make that kind of decision Carolyn, however, we can get your hair done, and maybe have your nails trimmed and polished. Then you and I will talk to Thomas about this date. If he can convince me that he is not going to let everyone make fun of you, then I'll let you go. We'll even get you a party dress and some low heels. Is that alright with you?"

With another nod of my head, I agreed, and after mom got me a purse to carry, we left for her salon. As we drove by Tom's house his mother waved at us. The salon was a small place, but the woman that ran it knew mom quite well, and after she explained what was going on, the woman took me to a chair and began by washing my hair. My hair is sandy blonde with a lot of soft brown in it, below my shoulders, and straight. The woman suggested that I let her make it all one color, and with a nod from mom, I agreed. Dyes and various other chemicals were used, then she began to cut my hair. As long strands hit the floor I was sure that I would be bald, then, as I watched in the mirror, she created a very feminine style that was curly yet soft, came almost to my shoulders, and was all blonde. After she sprayed my hair, she started in on my nails, and quickly made each one look thinner, with rounded ends, painting all ten a soft reddish brown color. There would be no denying how I felt about myself, especially once someone saw my nails, or hair for that matter. When she was done, mom paid the bill, and we went home. I couldn't help it, I felt very feminine right then.

Mom stopped at a big shopping mart, and we went in. She handed me a package of pantyhose, told me to open it, and go in the changing room and put them on, which I did. Then I tried on heels. Mom selected a pair in white plus another pair that were black, but told me to wear the white ones. When I looked in the mirror I saw that the heels made my legs look pretty good, which I didn't anticipate, and I didn't have any trouble walking in them since they had low heels. When we turned on our street, on the way home, we saw Tom and his mother on their porch, and with a look and wink from mom, she pulled into their driveway. Without a pause, I got out of the car and joined mom as we walked to the porch. Tom was grinning while his mother merely looked at me before a grin appeared on her face.

"Hello! This must be Carolyn! Tom hasn't stopped talking about you since yesterday! Please, come sit down!"

"Mary", mom said, You know what's going on here, so I won't go into that. But I am here to make sure that if I let her go to the dance with Thomas, he will make sure that nobody bothers her, and to make him understand that he has to treat her just like he would any other girl. Carolyn is special, and I will not have her subjected to ridicule because she's different."

"I wouldn't do that!"

"I was sure of that Thomas, but I just wanted to make sure that you understand what could happen to Carolyn if you make even the smallest mistake."

"Thomas and I" His mom said, "had a talk after he came home this morning. I'll not pretend to understand why this is happening, but I can accept it because these two have been like brothers all their lives. Now I suppose, it'll be more like brother and sister. In any case, I told Thomas that he should think of Carolyn as if she were his sister, and protect her as if it were true. He says that he can and would do that." Turning to me, "I see now why he asked you to be his date. Your very pretty, and your hair is just lovely!"

"Later, probably tomorrow," mom said, "we are going to go out and find her a nice dress, complete with all the things she'll need to look simply wonderful in it. Maybe you would like to come over in a little bit Thomas, I'm sure that Carolyn would like to change clothes first, but I think you two need to talk a little."

Mom and I went home, and I put my gym shoes back on. Mom added a little perfume, told me to touch up my lipstick, then left me to wait for Tom. When he got there, he was on foot, so we walked down the street to the pond. We didn't touch, until we were almost there, then he took my hand in his! We sat by the tree, side by side. I didn't say anything, and Tom still had my hand in his when, without the slightest warning, he bent over and kissed me, right on the lips! I was so stunned that I didn't say anything, but saw Tom sitting back grinning at me.

"I won't let anyone even get a chance to bother you Carolyn! You can bet on that!"

"You kissed me!" I said pulling away, "why did you do that!?"

"Because you're not my sister, you're…gorgeous, and I…I couldn't help myself! Why? Didn't you like it?"

I couldn't tell him if I liked it or not because it happened so quickly, but…he was my best friend, he knew that I wasn't a girl, and he still kissed me! Not saying anything, Tom pulled me to him, and kissed me again, much longer, and a lot harder, then I felt his tongue on my lips, and let him enter. I felt chilled, red hot, and scared, yet thrilled at the same time. When he let me go, we were both smiling, yet I didn't know why. I jumped up, and ran towards the street, only to be caught by the arm and stopped dead in my tracks.

"Carolyn, this is all new to me too, but I couldn't help myself! Really! You're jut so…cute that I couldn't resist!"

"Tom" I said in a shaky voice, "maybe we shouldn't…"

"Yes" he said, "we should. You're going to be the best looking girl at the Slicer, and you'll be with me. Sarah will piss her pants when she sees you!"

"Is that what this is all about? I asked in an angry voice, "Sarah? All you want to do is make her jealous, and use me to do it! If that's what you have in mind you can go by yourself Thomas James!" He put his hand on my arm, but I jerked it away. "Don't touch me! I'm going home!" I knew that I sounded like a girl, but I was angry. He had kissed me, but I didn't care. I walked off leaving him standing there.

By the time I got home I was in tears, breaking down the minute I stepped inside. When I told mom what had happened, all of it, every word, she did not, as I suspected she would, call Tom's mother. Instead she told me that boys my age often used one girl to make another jealous, but in her experience, that never worked, and besides, she could tell by the look in Tom's eyes that he wanted to be with me. She told me that it was just part of the ritual we call dating, and if I were going to be a girl, then I had better learn how to fight back, like a girl does, using my feminine wiles. Since I didn't know what feminine wiles were, mom explained it to me.

"Girls are not all that sweet when it comes to men Carolyn. Tom likes you, and you like him, which means that when Sarah makes a move on him, you make sure that he doesn't have any choice but to stay with you. You hold his hand, kiss him, something that holds him in his place, and lets all of the other girls know that he belongs to you. It will also let Tom know that he belongs to you, at least right then. Now, tell me all about Sarah."

By the time I finished describing Sarah, mom was grinning, then told me not to worry, she had an idea, but added that if I agreed to it, I would probably have to be a girl for most of the summer, and since the Slicer is the last dance of the year, and we were out of school anyway, it wouldn't matter. I had no idea what she was talking about, and forgot all about it as soon as I was in my room. That night I slept in a nightgown for the first time. It wasn't so bad.

In the morning mom told me to wear a skirt and blouse, one that buttoned up the front, and pantyhose with flats. When I was dressed I tried my hand at makeup, did okay, then mom helped me brush out my hair. To my great surprise, it popped right back into place! As soon as I did my lipstick, we left the house. I assumed that we were on our way to find a dress, but it was almost two hours before the stores opened, so I had no clue, and mom wouldn't tell me, but the minute we pulled into the parking lot and I saw the sign, I knew. It could not have been any plainer. The sign said "The Breast of Everything". I followed mom inside, then, over the next two hours, I was turned into a girl. Mom told me that I didn't have to do it, but visions of Sarah taking my best friend away from me would not let me say no, so I was fitted with breast forms that were glued on, plus a special panty of sorts. When the woman was done, I stood there naked, looking in the mirror, and could not see one sign that I had ever been a boy! I could not help but to put my hands on the small, but very well proportioned and shapely new breasts, then my hand found the other changes, and for the first time, I knew what a girl felt like. When I got dressed it was clear that the tiny bra I had worn didn't fit, so I went without, but the panties filled out perfectly, and my skirt hung like it was supposed to.

By the time we left the shop I was convinced that what I was doing was right, and now that I looked like a girl, my confidence level soared. But mom held me back, making sure that I acted normal, and not like a wild girl, bra or not, insisting that I behave. By then the mall was open, and I was fitted for my first real bra, which was a 34A. I begged, and got one that had pushup pads in it, was low cut, and fastened in the front. That was the one I wore out of the department. From there we went to a well known specialty lingerie shop and I was fitted with a corsolet, again a 34A, but it pulled my waist in by at least two inches, and gave me a great figure. Both the woman that fitted me and mom told me that I should wear it when I tried on dresses, to make sure the fit was correct. The dress shop was across the concourse, and going in I saw all sorts of colors, and dresses in every style. After trying on about ten dresses, mom and I finally settled on one that she liked and I could live with. It was all white, with a pair of spaghetti straps holding up a square cut neckline, with a fitted bodice, flaring out at the hips to end at a hemline that was just above my knees.

By the time we got home and I had everything in my room, I began to realize why it was that I was so excited! I had breasts and much more! I loved my new bra and the dress of course, but being able to look like a girl no matter what I wore, well, I was thrilled. When I discovered that I liked to dress as a girl I was surprised, but that was nothing compared to being able to look at myself naked, and know that it was right for me. I undressed to take another look, and with no sign that I was a male, all of those growing feelings of femininity I had washed over me, only stronger than before. I loved the way I looked, regardless of what I really was under it all, and I knew right then that being anything other than a girl wasn't for me. I got dressed in a pair of shorts and a top, then rode my bike down to see Tom. Did I forget to mention that I didn't have a bra on?

Tom wasn't anywhere I could see him, so I knocked on the door, which was opened by his mom.

"Hi Carolyn!" she said as she looked at me, from the head down. "It looks like you are taking this seriously! Does your mother know that your out of the house without a bra on?" "No" I said meekly. "Then" she said with a motherly scowl on her face, "I suggest that you go put one on young lady. I'll tell Tom that you'll be back. Now scoot!"

By the time I returned, Tom was outside, but when I was at home getting the bra on, I pulled my shorts up tight enough so that there wasn't much doubt about me. Tom grabbed my hand, and we ran down the street, headed for the pond again. When we got there, Tom swept me into his arms and apologized for saying what he did, then he kissed me again. I told him I had a killer dress, and also mentioned that if he so much as looked at another girl I would have his gonads on a platter! At age 14 we both had plenty of hormones in our systems, which was evident when Tom told me he had to sit down. He had a problem in his pants that he didn't want me to see, which was funny in a way, because I had seen him naked many times, and had even compared ourselves once.

We only talked, and he told me, no, promised me that he would not leave me stranded at the party, and begged me to believe him when he told me that he wasn't taking me just to make Sarah angry. I wanted to believe him, but reserved a small portion of disbelief, just in case. We both knew that I would be treading on shaky ground by going with him dressed as a girl, but what he did not know was that I was no longer as concerned as before. I knew that I could, if I had to, prove that I was a girl, but didn't really look forward to trying that. Tom walked me home and I went in the house to help make dinner.

On the day of the Slicer, I started getting ready around noon, starting with mom using a hair remover all over my skin, which I showered off, then a bubblebath, which was all new to me. The oils in the water made my skin softer, and when I rubbed in the lotion afterwards, my skin was as soft and supple as any girl my age. Having become used to using the bath like a girl, I knew enough to wash up carefully, then I went to my bedroom, slipped on the high cut white nylon panties, then sat at my new vanity, which was merely a few boxes with a top laid on them, and began my makeup. I had my foundation on when mom came in and told me to use the loose powder. It made my skin look extra smooth, and soft! Eyeliner was a soft plum with a light gray over that, highlighted with black eyeliner and a black pencil. Mascara made my eyes look bigger and stand out a little more. The blusher was a peach and coral blend that I had discovered looked real good on me, and made my face seem a bit thinner.

Mom put my hair in rollers using a gel, then I grabbed the corsolet, wrapped it around myself and fastened the hooks. Mom tightened it, I pulled on the white pantybrief then I sat on the bed to pull on the pantyhose. I stepped into the dress, then mom zipped it up and I sat down so she could finish my hair. When she was done I knew that there was no way anyone would recognize me, and I was smiling when I stepped into the white heels. When mom wasn't looking, I reached into the bra and pulled up on each breast, gaining a little cleavage while showing the tops of my breasts. The perfume mom handed me was new, and I loved the smell of it! Mom told me it was a small "first date" gift. I changed my earrings to pink pearls, the put the matching choker necklace on. I didn't wear any other jewelry. Mom and I stood side by side as I looked in the mirror.

I looked more like mom than ever before! Handing me a new lipstick, I took it, put it on, then went to my small desk to get my purse. I had planned on taking my wallet, but the purse was too small, so mom told me to take just my lipstick and a small brush, her cell phone, plus the twenty she handed me. I had about half an hour before Tom would be there to get me, and wanted to wait for him in the familyroom, but mom said no, telling me that every girl wants to "make and entrance" and would have to come back to my room ten minutes ahead of time. I was nervous of course, but when the time came, I went to my room to wait for mom to call me.

I heard my name, opened the door, stepped out, walking down the stairs carefully, seeing Tom and his mother standing there in the front hall. His mom's eyes went wide, but Tom stood perfectly still, his mouth open as I walked the last few steps.

"Damn!" he said, then smiled at me.

"Carolyn", his mom said, "You are simply stunning! I had no idea that you…"

"She's gorgeous mom! I told you, didn't I?"

"Yes Thomas, you did tell me she was gorgeous, and you were right!"

"What we need" mom said, "is a few pictures to mark the occasion. You kids stand over there."

Mom took almost an entire roll of film, then his mother drove us to the school. When we walked in I was gripping his hand so hard that he mentioned it, but I couldn't help myself. Tom introduced me to his friends, who happened to be my friends as well, and not one of them recognized me. When we got to Sarah and her friends, I got the evil eye from her, but smiled back, and let Tom lead me away from them. When the music started Tom took my hand, and for the first time I danced with a boy, which wasn't very hard, since all I had to do was follow him. After we each had several soft drinks, he had to excuse himself, so I also went to the restroom. After having functioned as a girl for a while, I knew the routine, it was just that I had never used a public restroom. I had to go, so I walked across the gym and into the ladies, did my thing, then while I was washing up, I found myself surrounded by Sarah and her friends.

"Tom is mine little girl, so stay away from him after this!" Sarah sounded mean, but I knew she was all talk.

"Well" I said, if he's yours, then why did he ask me to this dance instead of you? Maybe your not his type, or maybe he doesn't like you, or possibly he doesn't like pushy girls! In any case, I'm with him tonight, and tomorrow, and probably the next day. If I were you, I would find someone else, because Tom is mine, not yours, and I'll make certain of that later!" I touched up my lipstick, then walked out leaving Sarah sputtering.

My hands were shaking by the time I reached our table, and I could not see Tom! I sat down only to have Bill come over and ask me to dance. Not seeing Tom anywhere, I said yes, and let Bill take my hand. We danced a few, then he took me back to the table where I saw Tom talking to Sarah. Bill waited until I was seated, then started to walk away, but Tom asked him to stay.

"You know," Tom said, "both you and Sarah are here alone, and Carolyn and I are together, so maybe you to should hook up. That way nobody will be by themselves." Looking right at me, he added, "I was just explaining to Sarah that I have asked Carolyn to be my girl, and she has accepted."

I had? I saw Tom wink at me and smiled at him as I took his hand. "Yes, that's true. I tried to tell you Sarah, but what can I say? I said yes, and that leaves you without a date. Bill is here, so maybe Tom was right, maybe you two should get together."

Sarah grabbed Bill's hand, almost dragging him away from our table, leaving me shaking again.

"That went well, don't you think?" Tom asked, even as he took my hand in his. "Sarah wanted to know everything about you, from how old you were to where you went to school, lived, all of it. All I told her was that if you wanted her to know anything, she would have to ask you, and you could tell her yourself." Sitting back…"You really let her have it Carolyn! You sounded just like any girl I ever knew as a matter of fact!"

"And just how is that?" I asked.

"Catty" he said with a grin, the took me back to the dance floor.

As the dance went on, couples drifted away to find secluded corners where they could…do things. Tom took my hand, the we walked outside. The night was cool but night cold, and as we walked towards the big tree, he stopped me, looked right into my eyes, then asked me if I would be his girl! Before I could answer, he pulled me very close, and kissed me. That previously unknown response returned when I shivered. Feelings, emotions that I never felt before drove me closer to him, if that was possible, and I whispered one word into his ear, and that word was "yes". His mom came to get us soon after that, taking me to my house. Tom walked me to the front door, and while his mother watched, he kissed me again. If you were to say that I was floating when I went in the house, you might just be right!

Two days later I got an invitation to a pool party at Sarah's. When I showed it to mom, she laughed, and told me that it was high time I got a swimsuit anyway, so we went to the mall where I tried on several, including a modest bikini that covered almost all of me, but without a waist nipper or my corsolet, I didn't have the shape a girl has, so I opted for a suit that had a bit of restraint built in. Mom thought it was more revealing than the bikini, which is of course, why I picked it! I also bought some shorts that fit better, another skirt, and some girls gym shoes. On the way home, mom told me that she thought that Sarah was going to try and win Tom over by wearing something skimpy while at the same time try to make me feel inferior. No chance!

When we got home I put on my swimsuit, then slipped into a pair of my new shorts and gym shoes, then walked outside, turned, and headed for the pond. There was no part of me that didn't believe that I was a girl, a change that I had never thought possible, but as I walked the sun hit my face while the wind riffled my hair, and I felt more alive than ever. I had managed to stand up to Sarah while remaining lady, Tom had asked me to be his girl, and Bill had been drawn to me. I knew without being told, that Sarah would try something, what I didn't know, but I was prepared for whatever she used. Only Tom would have to stand with me, and while he asked me to be his girl, mom had reminded me that boys are as fickle as girls, and often get led astray. She told me not to take it personal, it was the way men acted. She said that if Tom dumped me, then I should find someone else! I sat by the pond for a while, then went home.

On the day of Sarah's party, I once again prepared carefully, then put my suit in a small bag rather than wear it, opting to wear a pair of tan shorts and a thin pink top with my gym shoes. Tom came to get me, and we rode our bikes to Sarah's house, which was about ten blocks away. Her mother was very kind while her father seemed to be watching all of the girls a little too closely. Sarah was all sweetness and light, which was all show of course. Her eyes spoke of a devious plan. Tom and I went around talking to everyone, then about an hour later we all went to change into our suits. I joined the girls of course, and without any apparent thought, I slipped off my top and shorts. The bra was next, then I held out my swimsuit while I stepped out of my panties. Pulling on the suit I saw Sarah watching me, and grinned inwardly. Slipping my shoes back on, I grabbed my towel and left the rest of the girls to change.

Tom looked very hunky in his speedo, and when he saw me, I saw his eyes open wide as he walked over. Sarah and the rest of the girls arrived soon after, and I had a chance to see Sarah's body for the first time. Taller than I am, she was actually quite well built for a girl our age. I smiled at her, drew a scowl, then ignored her, concentrating on Tom, who was busy staring at my boobs. A short time later, Sarah casually sat down with us, and easily mentioned that she thought a boy named Kenny lived where I said I lived, and she wondered, in an offhand sort of way, if I were Kenny. Since I figured her to try something like this, I was ready.

"But…weren't you the one staring at me when I changed? You did see me naked? In fact, you were watching me so hard that for a moment I thought that you were going to ask me out yourself Sarah! And, since I know that you saw me naked, you know that I am a girl, and not some boy name Kenny! Did you want to ask me out? Is that it?"

Several girls heard what I said, drawing snickers from them, but they also saw me naked, and they thought I was a girl, and told Sarah to back off, because she was all wet! Angry as hell, Sarah stomped off, not only losing, but embarrassed that I had mentioned the way she was staring at me. Tom and I stayed about three hours, then I went to change clothes. Gail, a close friend of Sarah's was there changing as well, and said…

"Sarah is such an ass sometimes Carolyn. Just ignore her and she'll give up."

As my suit hit the floor, I stood naked for a moment, then opened my bag to get my panties. I put them on, then my bra, top, and shorts. Gail told me that a lot of girls wondered about me, if I really were Kenny, but after seeing me naked, she said she knew better. Then she told me that those very same girls would all like to have Tom escort them. I figured as much, after all, he is a hunk. Tom and I went home, and saw a lot of each other for about a month, then we sort of drifted apart. As the time to start school drew closer, I knew that mom and I had to do something, because I simply could not give up being a girl. That's when she changed my name. That fall I started school as Carolyn, tried out for the cheerleading squad, and made it! It was the very first time I had ever tried out for a "team", and been accepted!

Sarah quit bothering me before school started, and strangely, by the end of the first term, she and I were fast friends! All of my mannerisms, the way I spoke, and all of my actions were that of a teenage girl, which mom commented on many times. She put me in a charm school three days a week to help me act like a lady, and that led to mom and I becoming even closer. Just after Christmas that year Bill started to follow me around, then he asked me out. Not as tall as Tom, he was wider, and cute, like a teddy bear.

Mom and I had long ago moved all of my boy clothes to the basement, since my girl clothes were expanding past all available space. I had my own vanity, posters of hot boy groups, some dolls, and like teen girls all over, a diary. I wrote in it every day, but left out one small thing. That next summer, when Bill and I were out, I touched him in a place I should not have. That same summer mom enrolled me in a program, and by the time my Senior year started, I had the body of a girl my age, all without any padding. Still going with Bill, we were reaching the point that he wanted more than I could offer, and that caused me to agonize, trying to find a solution to make him happy and keep me chaste. It was all pointless when Bill started dating Gail, a long time friend.

I started college, a complete woman, taking an English class, one that the professor demanded we write an article that was so far fetched that nobody would believe it. Using my diary, I wrote this piece, changing the names of course, and got an "A", because, according to that lame professor, no boy would opt to be a girl, not like I wrote it anyway. I almost laughed when he said that. In that same class, I met a guy named Henry. I'd write more, but I have a date and have to get ready.

A Surprise for Dad

Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]

I didn't bother to sneak out of the house when I left, I simply walked out to my car, got in, and drove away. After so many years of practice I was really good at becoming a girl, and never really worried about being found out any more. I was wearing the wrap skirt, the plaid one with a white pullover top when I went directly to the drugstore, picked up more eye shadow and foundation, plus more nails, then drove to the mall. My breasts, like my hips, were mostly me, with just a little padding, but I didn't think that would last much longer because my body had started to change quite a bit within the last few months. With my long shiny brown hair bouncing on my shoulders, I made my way through the mall, eyeballing the window displays as I passed each store, making my way directly to the café area. I looked around a moment, then saw her sitting alone at a table. I made my way through the crowds of people, stopping to get a soft drink before I approached her. Walking around behind her I slipped into the chair next to her.

"This table is…I'm sorry but, I'm waiting for someone".

"Hi" I said in a soft voice, "I'm Susan."

It took her a moment as she looked me over, then…"Wow! My goodness, you're gorgeous!" I smiled when I looked at her. "Susan? I know what you told me on the phone, but I never expected you to look so….good!"

She sat there and listened as I told her that I was almost a girl, that I virtually had the body of a girl, complete with breasts of my own, a hairless body and wider hips, and smooth, hairless skin. Then I told her that I simply couldn't be a boy any more, no matter what, and so far, at least up to that point, nobody had a clue about how I felt. Cheryl lived across the street from us, and had casually mentioned to me that she had seen a girl leaving my house a few times. Knowing that I didn't have a girlfriend, she finally added up the facts, and decided that I was the girl she had seen. That's when I decided to let her meet the girl I was striving to be, which is why we were there at the mall. Cheryl was my age, I had known her almost from birth, and I trusted her more than anyone.

"I've seen you before, but…what I mean is, I never expected you to….you're telling me that those are real?"

"I use some padding on my hips, but…"

"Those boobs are real? Really!?"

"Yeah" I said with a grin, "but you can't tell anyone Cheryl, this is between just you and I, okay?"

"Yeah, like anyone would believe me if I told them! You're a real doll!" Cheryl put her hand over mine, then…"Thanks for telling me…Susan, I can guess how hard it must have been for you to admit something like this to anyone, and I gratified that you chose me."

As far as I knew, nobody knew what I was doing, and the need to tell someone had been growing for a long time. That need to share with someone that might be sympathetic, a friend that I could talk to was what I needed most, but telling my dad was out of the question, although the time was rapidly approaching when I would be unable to hide the changes, and he would surely find out anyway. It was the moment I would have to face, yet I dreaded the very thought of it; that made Cheryl the obvious choice, which is why I asked her to meet me.

"My dad doesn't know Cheryl, but I'm pretty sure that I won't be able to hide the changes for much longer, I'm about to measure a full B cup, and without the padding I have 35 inch hips. I positive that when he does find out, I'll probably have to quit school and move out."

"What do you mean? Are you growing that fast?"

"The hormones are changing my body a lot faster than I thought they would Cheryl. Like I said, I'm almost a full B cup now, and that's happened in just the last few months! If I get any bigger…"

"I get it" Cheryl said, "but why hide it? What I mean is, what can he do about it now?"

"He can't just throw me out I guess; and probably wouldn't anyway, but my life would probably become really difficult if he did find out, and since we have another six months before graduation…well, you get the idea."

"Yeah, I can see that, but what are you going to do now?"

"Wear baggy clothes like I have been I guess, and hope for the best. I don't seem to have much choice!"

"That might work, except…"

"What Cheryl, tell me!"

"Some of the kids at school? Well, I think they already know. What I mean is, the way you walk and wave your arms around? Even the way you talk! Everyone already thinks you're either Gay or that you want to be a girl, and my guess is that if you showed up dressed like you are right now, well everyone would be sort of glad in a way. Then they would know for sure, wouldn't they?"

"My dad would kill me."

"Maybe, has he ever seen you…like this I mean?"

"No way!"

"Then maybe it's time he found out! He will sooner or later anyway, so why not just tell him? Maybe it won't be as bad as you think."

"And maybe it'll be worse! Maybe I'll die too."

As Cheryl and I talked about it some more, what I already knew in my heart became even more obvious. When I finally decided that she was right, that I had to tell my dad, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. If I were going to let the cat out of the bag, tell him the truth, then it had to be the perfect moment, and I had to be wearing the perfect outfit, not just jeans and a top or a plain skirt and blouse. I looked into Cheryl's face, and as she offered to loan me her white dress, I almost started to cry. I was about to change my future, and she was trying to help me! I was overwhelmed that anyone would do something like that. Telling me that we had to make sure it fit, she insisted that I try on it, so she and I went to her house. Her mom and my dad were both gone, so we were able to get into her bedroom without any fuss or embarrassing moments. As I let my skirt drop to the floor and pulled the top off, I saw Cheryl staring at me.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just that you have a really nice shape, better than I expected, that's all."

"Like I said, it's mostly padding right now!"

"Here, try this on" she said as she handed me the white dress.

I had to remove some hip padding so the dress fit better, but when I saw my reflection in the mirror I had that same crushing sense that I had always been right; that I should have been a girl. The dress hugged every curve, accenting my breasts, then displaying them just well enough to let everyone know that they weren't fake. The hem was just above the center of my knees while the wide straps over the shoulders left my arms bare. In style it was a throwback to the 50's. A sheath dress with a wide vee starting at the shoulders, plunging to a point between and just above my breasts. Cheryl and I both knew that if I wanted to make a statement, it was the perfect dress. After I changed back into my own clothes, Cheryl and I hugged, then I took the dress with me when I went home. Alone in my room I could decide just when I would tell my dad. I didn't think he would actually hit me, but I was real sure that he wasn't going to be happy to find out that his only son wanted to be a girl, although I had tried to send him the message for years. I had openly worn eyeliner and mascara a few times, pink tee shirts, even some hot pants and blusher once, but so far he never said a word. The phone rang…

"Hi!" dad said, "I was wondering if you would like to meet me for dinner? I have a late client, and I was thinking that we could go to Muellers?"

"Hi dad. How late?"

"Eight? I'll make the reservations."

"Dad, I have to tell you something really important, so maybe you can get a booth?"

"Sure. What's wrong? You sound a little…odd?"

"I'm fine dad, but what I have to say? Well, it's really important. I'll see you at eight."

The decision, for better or worse, had been made at the moment I heard his voice, driven by my incessant desire to become a girl, but compounded not only by my continuing desire to quit hiding that fact from my dad, but also, my rapidly changing body, which was robbing me of time. I had to do it. As I undressed and headed for the shower I thought about what Cheryl had told me.

"If you're going to tell your dad, then don't go half way Susan. Go all out. Be the girl you want to be, the daughter he might have had, and more importantly, don't be ashamed of yourself! You are who you are, and nothing, or anybody, is going to change that!"

I had three hours to get ready for a debut that would make me, or break me, and to tell the truth, I was really scared. I dusted my body with a sweet powder, set my hair in rollers, then went to the dresser to pick out what lingerie I was going to wear. I didn't have that big a selection, but I picked out the high cut white panties and the bra that matched. The panties were tight enough to help hide things, which were already small and shrinking, and the bra was a front hook with padded demi cups. It would push up and enhance my natural breasts, leaving no doubt that they were my own, and would be perfect with that white dress. With my hair in rollers, I started my makeup with very light foundation. My thin beard allowed me to shave only twice, maybe three times a week, and that meant that I never had to use a lot of makeup, always letting me look more natural, a very big asset. I chose a soft blue eye shadow highlighted with taupe and a touch of silver, black eyeliner and mascara, then a soft peach toned blusher. Sheer to the waist pantyhose, then the dress. I zipped it up and stepped into my only white heels. They were sling back with an ankle strap, three inches high, making me a full 5'10" tall. Taking the rollers out I brushed my hair out, letting it fall naturally to my shoulders, the slight curl adding body and a few waves. Using a white rhinestone clip, pulled my hair back on my left side, added a pale red lipstick, some perfume, white and gold earrings, then a cheap rhinestone choker necklace and the matching tennis bracelet. My brown hair and green eyes went well with the dress, and I knew that I looked better than I ever had any right to. Then I began to get cold feet. 17 year old boys just don't want to be girls, and even if they do, they aren't supposed to look the way I did. Cheryl was being kind when she said that I was gorgeous, because to me, I was at best, merely an average looking girl. Deep down, I guess I was hoping that dad would think I was pretty. Gathering my courage again, I found my white purse, put my things in it, then stared in the mirror one last time. I was going to need to use all my skills and be as feminine as I could manage. With a grin to bolster my courage, I grabbed the purse, opened the door, and walked out of the house before I changed my mind or lost my will to face my dad.

I was at the restaurant a bit early, gave the name and was showed to the booth. Thankfully it was slightly dark, and better, the booth wasn't near the front. I was sipping on a soda when I saw dad walk in, but when I saw that he wasn't alone, I began to panic! I recognized the other person right away. It was Katherine, dad's highest profile client! I wanted to crawl under the table, but I was stuck there as the waiter showed them to the table. Dad saw me. I was clearly family. I looked like the sister I didn't have. As his eyes got wider he hesitated a moment, giving no visible sign that anything was wrong as he let Katherine sit first, then he slid in next to her.

"I'm sure you know who Kathy is, this is…"

"Susan" I said quickly to save dad the embarrassment of not knowing my name, "pleased to meet you."

They ordered drinks as I just sat there, then after nervously chatting for about twenty minutes…"It was very nice to meet you my dear, but I won't stay long. Your father tells me that you two have some important things to talk about, so I better scoot."

After Katherine left, dad and I sat there facing each other alone.

"This is obviously what you wanted to talk about" he said with restraint in his voice.

"Yeah. Dad, I've always thought that I should have been a girl! How could you not know!? I wore eyeliner and mascara, even blusher, hoping you would figure it out, but you never did! Now I don't have a choice."

"And why is that?"

"I've started to…develop."

"Develop?"

"Dad!" I said in an exasperated tone, even as his eyes immediately went to my breasts, then he looked up at me with a stunned look on his face. "In case you're wondering" I said, "they're real. This is all me….well, almost all of it anyway."

"But how did this happen?! I mean…"

"Dad" I interrupted, "I just couldn't stand it any more! I knew that I should have been a girl, and it was driving me crazy, so I started taking hormones over a year and a half ago! That's why I'm developing! Dad, I was meant to be a girl, and I will be fully developed very soon if I keep growing at the same rate anyway."

"You took drugs that would make you turn into a girl?! But how did you get them!?"

"It was easy dad, I ordered them from a place that sells them over the Internet."

"So, if you're becoming a girl…how did you come up with the name Susan?"

"Susan Michelle, after grandma, and mom."

"I see. And given your…development, there isn't anything I can do about this? Right?"

"I'm a girl dad, and I always have been, only it didn't show before, and now it does."

"I was hoping that you would go to college, then come in with me as a partner, but…"

"But why can't I still do that? What I mean is, what's changed, other than my name and what I'll wear? And what? Girls aren't smart enough to do what you do?"

"It's not like that, you know what I meant! It's just that I just never thought anything like this would happen to me!"

"Happen to you? What about me? Do you know how hard it was for me to keep this a secret? How much I wanted to tell you? Or how hard I had to work to be the son you wanted? I tried dad, I really did, you know that, but this is who I am, and I just can't hide it from you or anyone else any more, and it's not just because I'm starting to develop! I'm simply tired of hiding from everyone, and lying to you!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. It's just so…" dad sat back and sighed. "You're right of course. I guess I can't claim innocence… I saw the eyeliner, mascara, the pink shirts and those tight shorts you wore; I wondered about a few other things I saw you doing, and couldn't figure out why you wanted your mothers vanity desk so badly. I guess I figured it was just something you were doing to fit in with the other kids. I mean, I've seen them on television, so…."

"Those are the Goths dad. Lots of makeup and black clothes, totally weird. You know I'm not like that! I just want to be a normal every day kind of girl, like mom was!"

"It looks to me like you have succeeded."

"I had to tell you dad, it was killing me, hiding this from you all the time!"

"I'll bet."

"You're not angry with me are you?"

"Hell yes I'm angry with you! You didn't trust me enough to tell me about this before now, did you? Telling me now, after you started to…already have… developed, seems a bit anticlimactic, doesn't it? Whatever you've done, there's no going back, is there?"

"I doubt it, not now dad, and even if I could, I wouldn't."

"I see" dad said with that stoic tone in his voice. "You're 17 now, and I guess you should know your own mind, but given what you just told me, it doesn't seem like there's anything I can do about this, so I guess I'll just have to accept it, regardless of what I think, won't I?"

With all of the stress, that soda ran right through me, so I excused myself. "I have to use the ladies room dad, I'll be right back."

As I stood up dad got his first good look at my shape, especially my legs as my dress crawled up a bit when I slid out of the booth. By the time I returned, dad had ordered two drinks, one for me, one for him, his a double by the look of it.

"Okay" dad said as I sat down, "I guess I'll have to concede the point, you obviously have the body for it, but tell me this, you're going to finish school as a boy, right?"

"Yeah, I won't do anything stupid now, that would only cause more problems."

"I'm glad to hear that" he said sarcastically, "maybe we can get your diploma sent out with just your initials on it, which should make it easier to for you to get into college anyway. Now I guess it's time for me to say that this is all my fault. Maybe if I had been home more, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"It wouldn't have made any difference dad, sooner or later I would have become a girl whether you were home or not. It's not you dad, it never was. It's something inside of me." After taking a long look into my drink, "Can I still live at home? Or do I have to…leave?"

"Move? No, why would I make you move? You'll stay at home with me, but maybe we should spend more time together? For the life of me, I cannot understand why any guy would want to become a female, so maybe you can help me understand a little better? I need to…what I mean is, I've always had a son, not a daughter, and on top of that, I don't know what it is that you want from me! Believe me, I never expected something like this… especially this!"

"All I want to be able to do is be myself whenever I'm not in school dad, that's all! Nothing else is going to change! I like the same colors, the same sports teams, the same foods, everything is the same except for what I'll be wearing!"

It was hard for dad to understand, but at least he was trying, didn't threaten me, scream and shout or anything like that. But I didn't expect him to. He's a lawyer. He's trained to be really cool under pressure. His response was more than I expected. It was the best I could hope for. He and I had been alone since my mom slowly died of cervical cancer. I was 12 at the time, and had already been dressing up in her clothes for a few years by then. When she died I managed to salvage everything I could, like most of her jewelry, some clothes and some shoes, but that was about all, except that dad let me have her vanity. Now he was faced with the fact that I wanted to be a girl, a girl that resembled his wife, my mother, more than a little I guess. From his point of view he had first lost a wife, now a son, and gained what? I had the task of convincing him I wasn't just a boy in a dress. I had to convince him that I was his daughter by being the best daughter I could. I did my best to smile, and tried to stay light hearted through dinner, hoping to convince him that I was right, then…

"Here's to my new daughter" he said as he lifted his glass, "may she and I find our way through this together."

I almost cried when he said that, wiped away a tear, then we went home a it later. I changed into my nightgown, then joined him to watch the late news. He didn't say a thing when I showed up in the lilac nightgown, but he looked, he couldn't help himself. The next morning I was up first, and after I changed into a pair of jeans and a blouse, I went in to make breakfast. Dad showed up when the smell reached his bedroom. As we ate…

"I'll bet that you don't have a very large wardrobe, do you?"

"Not much. I had to borrow that dress I wore last night from Cheryl."

"Cheryl knows?!"

"I had to tell someone dad, and she is one of my best friends."

"I suppose. What now?"

"Huh?"

"What I mean is, what you said last night; that you want to dress like a girl whenever you're not in school. What does that mean…exactly?"

"Just what it sounds like, but if you say no…"

"That's exactly what I'd like to do" dad said sourly, "but from what you tell me it wouldn't have mattered what I would have said, even if I had known earlier…" I started to say something when he held up his hand. "I truly believe that you wouldn't do something like this unless it was true, so I'll accept what you tell me. It's just so…are you Gay? Is that it?"

"If you're asking me if I would like guys, then I'd have to say yes, but only like a girl would like guys! Not the other way, no!"

He sat there looking at me a moment, then…"If I let you buy some more clothes, you won't go crazy on me will you? You did say that you don't have much, and if I'm going to see a girl around here from now on, you might as well look presentable I guess, so why don't you call Cheryl and see if she'll go with you. Women always shop in pairs anyway, so you might as well."

"So…does this mean…"

"It means" dad said, "that we'll try it for a while and see how things work out. I'm not sure that I can stomach seeing you all dressed up like a girl all the time, but we'll try it for a while and see how it works out…okay?"

I agreed of course, and he gave me his credit card! Later, after he left for work, I called Cheryl who wanted all the news, so I asked her to come over, and be prepared to do some shopping. We didn't go crazy like dad feared, but I bought the essentials, like more bras and panties, three skirts, shorts, two dresses, a pair of nice dress slacks, some shoes, and a coat, had my ears pierced and got some pantyhose. At Cheryl's urging, I bought a flannel nightgown. I saw a lot that I wanted to get, but with my body still changing, I had to hold back, just in case I changed sizes. I also wanted to get my hair styled but didn't dare, I still had six months of school to go and didn't want to take the chance, not right then any way.

Things got a bit better after dad started seeing me dressed like any normal girl would at home, Usually jeans or a skirt and blouse. I continued to manage to hide things at school, but it was getting harder because I had another spurt of development which really rounded out my hips and back side, my boobs grew to a full B cup, my waist seemed like it was getting smaller, and my skin got very smooth. Still taking the hormones, I cut back from two pills a day to one a day, hoping that I could get through school without anyone finding out. Twice a friend of mine asked me about my butt, telling me that it looked like I had a girls butt! I used an elastic wrap to tape down my breasts, but that hurt and I didn't like it. About three weeks before graduation something happened that changed my carefully laid plans.

I had dropped one of my books and bent over to pick it up, which is when the girl behind me saw a potion of my panties. She tapped me on the shoulder, I jerked upright, turned, and hit the side of my head on the corner of the wall, which knocked me loopy, then slid sideways and fell down a few steps to the first landing. I landed hard enough to loosen the bandage holding my boobs down, then it came loose, so when I rolled over on my side, well…I flopped out. The obviousness of my breast couldn't be missed, and believe me, nobody standing there did. Combine that with the fact that Shelley and several others saw my panties was all it took.

I ran into the restroom and fixed things, but the damage was done, and I knew it. As I walked out into the hallway, the Principal and the school nurse were standing there, obviously waiting for me.

"In my office" she said. Once we were in her office and the door was closed…"It seems as if you have something to tell me".

"Uh…ummm….no ma'am."

"Shelly and several others are saying that you have breasts. They say that they saw them when you fell down. They also say that you're wearing panties. Now, is there anything you would like to tell me?"

"Can I…can I call my dad?"

She let me call dad, and when I told him that I needed him at the school immediately, that there had been an accident and I was in the Principals office, he said that he would be right there. That's when I elected to just sit there, ignoring the nurse and the Principals demands, simply waiting for dad to arrive, which he did, about twenty minutes later.

"It seems" Mrs. Benton said, "that your son has breasts! Did you know that?"

"Of course I knew about it" dad replied quickly, "He is becoming a girl, and in fact has been for quite a while now, and if it weren't for the fact that there is so little time left before graduation, he would be attending as a girl right now…with my blessing!"

"Can I…" she started, then…"I would like Mrs. Ward to examine him, and if what you say is true, maybe we can work something out."

I looked at dad, saw him nod his head yes, and went with the nurse. Without a word I removed my shirt, then the bandage I used to hide my boobs, and let them free. As she watched, I took off my slacks and stood there in my panties facing her. Since I always taped down what was left of my manhood, it looked as if I were a girl. Thankfully she did not ask me to remove them. I quickly dressed and joined Dad in the Principals office.

"He" Mrs. Ward said, "is a girl! I had him undress to his panties and saw no sign that he is a ….he!"

All I could do was grin on the inside. I didn't dare do anything but stand there quietly. My fate hung on what the principal was going to do. After what seemed like a long wait…

"Well, if he is a she, then why isn't she dressed appropriately?"

"Susan only had a few weeks to go until graduation, so we, she and I, decided that it would be better if she simply graduated and went on with her life." Dad sounded very lawyerly.

"That's why you requested her diploma with only initials."

"Of course" dad said.

Looking right at me…"I'll expect you to be properly dressed tomorrow. Come see me first thing in the morning before classes start."

"Yes Ma'am."

Dad went back to his office, and I went back to class, but I stopped at the restroom first. Since there wasn't any hiding my predicament any more, I removed the bandage around my chest and let my hair out of the ponytail. Using my fingers I did my best to fluff my hair. With my head up, I walked back to class, my clearly visible boobs bouncing with every step. Nobody said a word when I walked into the classroom, yet every eye was trained on my very obvious boobs. As we filed out of the room I could hear the remarks; some unkind, others not, yet nobody said a word to me, until….

"I knew you were different, I just couldn't figure it out until now!"

"Hi Janice."

"You…ah…wearing a skirt tomorrow?"

"Yeah, why not? Might as well, now that everyone knows that I'm really a girl."

"See ya tomorrow then?"

"Sure."

And that's how it was. I went to school the next day dressed like all of the other girls, in a skirt and blouse, only my skirt was short, about mid thigh on me. I wore a plain bra, nylons and flats, and my makeup was impeccable. Not many kids said anything, so I managed to graduate on time, but as a girl. That summer I worked at dad's law firm, starting college that fall. I have a fully developed female body, which will be complete in a few months after I heal up. Life is good now, and dad and I get along just fine, and that means more to me than anything else.

A boy like me

Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]

How does a boy like me end up in a pickle like this!? I was going to do it, but I wasn't going to like it, that's for sure! I looked over at my mother, who was smiling, then at my dad, who wasn't. Then I saw all those bags laying by the door.

"Do I have to do this? I mean… it's so… sissy! I don't want to dress up like a girl!"

"Yes" Dad said, you have to do it, and no, I'm not happy about it either, but it doesn't look like we have a choice now, does it?" He paused, then added… "You're the one that sent in that coupon thing to win a trip, and guess what? You won it! Why in the hell didn't you just use your own name!"

"It was just a goof dad, really! All the girls in school were talking about it, so I checked, and when I found out that it was a contest only for girls, well, I sort of made up the name… really!"

"Well, you won didn't you? Three weeks in Hawaii? And you're the one that sent in the response when they sent you that email, right? Well, by doing that you affirmed that you are the girl they think you are! I can't believe that you actually did that! Now you're stuck, because the fine print also details some very severe penalties for fraud! Even the government has decided to come down hard on anyone that tried to defraud these contests just to win! That usually means boys that try to enter, and possibly win! And that means that all you'll have to do is appear and claim your prize, and of course, spend those three weeks on vacation as a girl!"

"Why can't I just get fixed up, claim the prize and go as me?"

"Because" mom said, "as it happens, you didn't read any of the fine print! They have scheduled all sorts of events for you, like a day at a spa and salon as well as a very fancy dinner dance! You can hardly attend those as yourself, so it looks like you'll be… what's the name you used?"

"Beth"

"Yes! Beth! That's it! Well… Beth, it looks like you're about to become a young lady for the next month or so!"

"But I thought it was only three weeks!"

"Yes, but you'll need at least some time to get used to dressing, as well as acting, like a girl, which is why, starting tomorrow morning, you're going to become a girl named Beth!"

The very next morning mom got me up early, helped me get dressed in a skirt and blouse, then she drove for almost an hour, stopping at what looked like a small house. Mom rang the bell, and we were let in by a very old woman.

"Hello, I'm Sharon, and this is… Beth, or at least I hope she will be when your done."

"Is this some kind of punishment? I don't do those…"

"Oh no, nothing like that! She filled out a contest form using a girls name, and won. Now they are expecting to see a young girl, not a teenage boy, so…."

"How long?" The old lady asked.

I was thinking… a month? But she has to be perfect or we risk possibly getting sued for letting her claim a prize meant for a girl."

"I cannot help you my dear; one month is too short a time. Everything I do to make young men look like girls is virtually perfect, but to achieve that level of realism, three months is the absolute minimum time the transition will last, and that is pushing the limits very hard. Six is the norm, sometimes even a year."

"Three months" mom said slowly. "I suppose that would work, as long as she could be herself by the time school starts."

"As I said, it will be close, and I cannot, nor will I, guarantee that will happen. Sometimes the adhesives I use do not want to release as easily as we would like, but if you bring her in, say a week before school starts, I will try, that is all I can do, but if I can't get it to release….."

Mom dragged me into a corner, and… "You know what this means don't you?" I shook my head no. "This woman, from everything I can find out, has a stellar reputation for making boys look like girls, even to the point that they are undetectable from the real thing, which means that if I let her do this, and based on what she just said, you might not be able to start school as yourself! But if the company that sponsored this trip ever found out that you are a boy, well, we, you, could get sued big time! And that puts you right in the middle of it, doesn't it?"

"I suppose, but…"

"You don't want to start school as a girl, I know that, but I think we have to risk it! It's the only way honey!"

I hung my head, knowing that I was about to become a girl. With both mine and mom's consent, mine begrudgingly, the woman took us into her back room, telling me to get undressed, as in naked.

"Sex will not be an issue because of her age, so I will do this manually rather than use a specialty product. I will use special pads to make her bottom and hips a bit wider and rounder so she'll have a more natural look, as well as a small pad from her waist to her vagina. She will however, be required to maintain herself like girls do. Now then, if you will lay on this table I'll begin."

I could not see what she was doing of course, but I could feel her fingers as she worked. There was virtually no pain at all, and I relaxed. I could smell the glue she used, as well as the razor when she trimmed the hair around my new parts, but that was about all. After about an hour she told me to stand up. That's when I could feel the difference.
"I'm going to add the breast forms now, so you must stand very still my dear, okay?"

"Yes Ma'am."

I could see them laying on the table, like two flesh colored jelly fish, quivering as she set them down.

"These are the very best available my dear; I make them myself so I can control the fit and so on. They also have sensors built into them so you'll be able to sense touch. That is one of the tests they do in those contests you mentioned. They touch your breast. Now, hold very still."

With that, she coated my chest with some glue, waited a while, then placed a small pad right on my nipple before she pushed the first breast into place. After she was done with the other, added the pads on my hips and bottom which were custom made, and like the breast forms, undetectable. She did something with a crayon of sorts, then I could look down and see them, the twin mounds of my breasts, and they sure looked real to me, as did my hips!

"She will now be able to pass any inspection without fail, but again, you must clean yourself like a girl. Your mother can help you with that."

After mom paid her, she and I left. I was expecting to go home, but mom said no.

"You don't even have a bra honey! You'll wear a 34A, maybe a B so we'll get you fitted then buy a few of those, as well as panties, shoes, and some skirts and blouses, and some dresses. Then we have an appointment at my salon to get your hair cut and styled as well as have your nails trimmed and made pretty."

As we walked into the store my heart was beating hard, positive that I would be seen as a boy, but I didn't realize that without a bra, the nipples on my breasts could be seen clearly, eliminating all chance of discovery, which is why I was able to get fitted so easily. A lady measured me, then produced several styles that we could pick from. Since I had no idea, mom did the picking, and I left the store wearing both panties and a bra. It felt very strange, having a strap around my chest and weight pulling down on my shoulders, but after a bit I sort of got used to it. Since I was wearing jeans and a tee, mom said it was time, and after she bought them, she insisted that I wear the skirt and blouse; I felt naked wearing that outfit! It was very strange to feel naked from the waist down even though nobody could see anything.

True to her word, more skirts and tops, blouses, shoes and dresses were added, as well as shorts and a swimsuit. Then it was on to her salon. I normally kept my hair longish, tied in a short ponytail when I was at school. A lot of guys did the same, so I fit right in. I had no idea that was going to be a benefit. Once I was seated, the lady untied my hair, washed it, then began. I had no idea what she was doing, but once she started putting in those rollers, I knew that my straight hair was going to be curly. Since I was facing away from the mirror, all I could see was my mother, sitting across from me, and she was smiling. There was the time when my scalp burned a bit, then I spent time under a dryer. That's when another lady came over and redid my nails.

By the time she was done, I had nails that were just a bit longer than my fingers, and painted a soft pink color that glistened in the light. Back in the stylist chair, the rollers were removed and she brushed out my hair, trimming here and there before she finally spun the chair around, and I could see what she had done to me. My once straight, sandy brown hair was blond and wavy, not curly. Hair framed my face while bangs came down almost to my eyes; in the back, my hair was still just above my shoulders, but much fuller than before. I did not yet understand about blow drying and teasing. I looked like a 15 year old girl, and I could not identify with what I saw, versus what I knew. I was a boy, yet there was a girl staring back at me!

At no time did I ever want to be a girl, and sending in the coupon was just a prank; I never once expected to win, nor did I ever expect to find myself in this predicament! Yet there I was. I had acquiesced to the obvious when my parents made it clear that they were extremely afraid of getting sued on my behalf, or charged with a federal crime, so I knew that my being there was all my fault, and I had no choice but to let them make me into a girl. My only salvation lie in the fact that by the end of summer I would be myself again… maybe. The lady that had attached my boobs made that crystal clear. I dreaded what would happen if she could not get them off! I just could not see myself as a girl in school.

When we got home and my dad saw me for the first time, I thought he was going to have a cow! His eyes got bigger, and he stared at me long enough to make me uncomfortable. I started to fidget, then….

"Well, it looks like you're suitably impressed with our daughter!"

"He…she…. Looks so different!"

"That was the objective, remember? Now, what we need to do is select a full name for her!" Dad and I both looked at her. "You can't possibly expect her to go around just being called Beth do you?!" When neither dad or I said anything… "Well, if you remember, her name, if she had been born a girl, was going to be Mary Elizabeth, and since she used the name Beth when she sent in that coupon, I see no reason that we cannot use that now. After all, she might be here for quite a while!"

"Hummph!" was dad's entire response.

"I'll see about documents we can use to prove that she's a girl, but for now" she said turning to me, "Go make room for your new clothes, then put them away."

I had to remove all my briefs, replacing them with panties, my boy shoes for the new ones, then take out plenty of shirts and pants so I had room for the skirts, dresses and blouses. I kept only a few of my tees and some shorts, and that was about it! Curious about what that lady did to me, I undressed and looked down, but couldn't see a thing, so I went in the bath. Using the mirror I could see for myself just how I looked. How I looked was exactly like a girl! There wasn't one sign that I was a boy, just a narrow strip of hair! I sighed and went back in my room; I put the panties back on, but wore the new shorts and a tee. I was a bit saddened when I saw that the shorts fit like a glove. The downward tapering front left no room for doubt, especially since my new boobs stuck out against the thin tee, my bra almost visible. When I left the room I was both angry at myself, and to be truthful, in awe at just how easily it had been to make me into a girl.

Mom had decreed that dad call me Beth and use all the feminine pronouns when he talked about me, while I was told in no uncertain terms that I had to learn how to be a girl my age or risk everything. She began by making me learn to sit down! I thought I knew how to sit in a chair, but no. Up and down I went until she was satisfied, then it was on to walking. It was like that for the next whole week. Up down, back and forth, how to hold my arms and use my hands. It seemed endless. It was very hard to break old habits, but not as hard as when I had to use the bathroom for the first time. From habit, I stood there for a moment, then realized that I had to sit, and as I sat there and everything worked, I was both relieved so to speak, as well as fully cognizant that the change I had undergone was both much better than I expected, and worse than I was hoping for.

My experiences with girls up to that point was to watch them giggle, dress funky, and smell good. I had no reference point to start from, until I used the bath that is, and those lessons mom was drilling into me. Inside I was a boy, and knew nothing about being a girl, yet there I was, stuck with a girls body, and no choice in the matter. About a week after I experienced the change, mom and I went to the mall.

"It's time you got your ears pierced, all the girls your age have them, so you should too, and you need to have some jewelry of your own as well. Maybe we'll find something else we like too!"

I got gold hoops plus a fake diamond stud in each ear, and some rings, necklaces, and bracelets, and of course more earrings. As we walked through the mall mom kept telling me to do things a certain way, which, to be truthful, was a big help. In a department store, mom asked me if I wanted to change my bedding.

"Maybe something less… cowboy? Something more neutral, or maybe even feminine?"

Passing on the feminine bit, I decided on a pale green, and mom bought what she needed. That night I slept on new sheets. My mother was real good on the computer, and somehow managed to produce a valid birth certificate in my new name, one that said I was a female at birth! With that, she was able to construct my life as a girl, with enough documentation to prove my status to anyone. I got used to the skirts and blouses, even the dresses on Sunday, but that bra was a real pain, but I had to wear one all the time, so I simply gave up and eventually accepted it. After almost a month had passed since my change, mom said that it was time for another visit to the salon, especially since that following Wednesday I had to appear to collect the prize.

On my second visit at the salon, I was treated to the thrilling experience they called waxing. Legs, arms, butt, and at moms urging, my brand new pubes were trimmed into even more of an exclamation point. From there it was a reset on my hair, redoing my nails, and for the first time, makeup. If I thought that I looked like a girl before, well, with makeup on, it was even more definite! I could not help but smile at my reflection, knowing that there wasn't any way that I could be found out, and besides, I never looked that good before! Almost cute if you were to squint a bit.

My dad had never quite gotten used to seeing me as a girl, yet when he saw me that day, he finally had a smile on his face. The makeup had enhanced my features just enough that I no longer looked like me, so if I wasn't me, I had to be his daughter Beth, right? For my day to claim the prize, mom had me take a long hot bubblebath, then powder up real good before I started getting dressed. Pink panties with a matching bra, one that pushed my new babies up and out a bit, then pantyhose. The dress was white with pink trim, snug at the breast, tight around my waist, then flaring out a bit to stop at least two inches above my knees. Mom helped me do my makeup, adding perfume for the first time. Pink and white earrings with a matching pendant necklace, and soft red lipstick, and mom announced that I was ready. I never looked that good, nor had I ever felt more like a girl than right at that moment. I had it all. Figure, body, looks, and, sadly, I had finally accepted my fate. I simply didn't have a choice. Well, I did have a choice, I probably could have skipped claiming the prize, or maybe just showed up as a guy and told them what I had done. But my parents were so angry with me when I won that they themselves had removed those options, and thus, they had sealed my fate.

When we arrived at the place, I, like my parents, were surprised to see at least 11 other girls there! That was all explained once we were all seated in a small room.

"We know that you expected to be the only girl that won, but we have decided that since all of you have completed every portion of the contest perfectly, it wasn't fair to single out just one of you. That's why we have decided to award the same trip to all of you! Now, we did have to make some changes, but they are only minor changes. For example, the photo shoot has been expanded from not only individual pictures, but others that we can use later in our magazine! Also, the day trip to the salon will now include all of your mothers, while we have made arrangements for the fathers at a local golf course. There is one thing that requires your parents consent. We would like to put out a calendar, with each of you representing a single month. I will stress that while we would like to do it on the beach, with you girls in your swimsuits, this is not going to be lewd, salacious, or overly sexy in any way! Now, down to the particulars…."

After some more discussion, all of the parents, including mine, agreed to the calendar shoot. We got a copy of the itinerary, plane tickets and so on, then we were treated to lunch. That was my very first time around that many girls, all my age, and I was worried that I might do something outside the normal, but all of the girls were squealing in delight, and in a bit of self defense, I joined in of course. Three weeks in Hawaii was a very big deal, and like them, I was excited about going. Talk of getting a bikini, a tiny one made the rounds, as did talk of all the sights. Then came the moment we had been warned about.

"In the past we have had boys enter the contest and won, so we have instituted a condition that all of you are required to submit to. Your mothers may be present if you wish it, but all of you, one at a time, will go with Gladys, who is a registered nurse. She will determine if we have any fakes here."

The nurse did not touch my breast, she had me raise my dress and pull down my panties. Once she put her eyeball on me, I was told that I could go. I passed the test of course. By the time mom and I got home I surprised even myself when I realized that I wanted a bikini! I wanted to fit in, to be like the other girls, so I asked mom about it.

"We'll see honey. I never in my life expected to hear that from you, that you want a bikini! But, if they are doing a calendar, I suppose they'll like it better if you had one. I'll mention it your father, but keep quiet about it, okay? I'll have to explain other things to him as well, and it's better if you weren't around."

Landing after a ten hour flight, along with a five hour time change, we were all whipped, and once in our hotel room, collapsed. After a long rest and a shower, I changed into shorts and a top, and joined my parents for a walk around the area. Just a block from Waikiki beach, we walked out on the beach, the small police station just to our right. Then it was down to the aquarium, which was to our left. We wandered towards town, stopping for lunch, then we walked through the international gold market. Dad surprised me when he bought me a small gold heart on a chain! One the way back to the hotel, mom told dad we would meet him later, and we left for one of the many swim shops around us. I tried on but rejected three before I found one I liked. Mom wasn't sure, but I got my way and ended up with a bikini that was a lot smaller than mom wanted me to get, but probably normal in Hawaii. It was red with white flowers on it.

I don't think mom told dad about it. That night all of us ate together, and the next day began our adventure. We saw all the sights, Pearl Harbor, Diamond Head, went to a luau, swam in the ocean, and pool, while our dad's played a lot of golf. Then came our day at the spa. That was the very first time all of us girls were naked together. We changed into robes in the locker room. There wasn't anything for me to see that I couldn't see by looking in the mirror, so while it should have been fun, it wasn't. Massages, saunas, getting our hair and nails done as well as having perfect makeup done was all on the agenda, and by then, it was not quite as strange as I expected, I found myself looking forward to it.

With every experience I came to appreciate being a girl more and more; all that pampering, the way I looked and felt, the way people treated me; like I was a Princess. After our session at the spa, it was dress up night, a grand dinner where everyone wore gowns and looked their best. It was also when they would draw a name for the girl that was going to represent the magazine for the year. My dress, selected for me by my mother, was all white satin and lace, like a wedding gown without the veil. Mom threw dad out of my room while I got ready for my debut, then I started getting dressed.

Now, I knew I was a boy, yet I also knew that I was a girl, a girl that I had somehow come to like. I got dressed starting with outrageously thin and skimpy white panties, a bra that pushed my girls up, together, and out, and waist cincher. A garterbelt with white hose, then came two layers of petticoats. As mom helped me get the dress over my hair I let it settle into place. The two thin straps on my shoulders held up very little since the dress was so tight. I stepped into the white heels and turned so mom could zip up the dress. As she did…

"Mom?"

"Yes dear?"

"I don't think I can go back to being what I was!"

"I know."

"You do?!"

"Honey, you've been absolutely glowing since this all started! I knew before we left on this trip!"

"Does dad know?"

"Your father is a…. a man honey, he doesn't get it and never will, so, no, I don't think so, but he might have an inkling, if he was paying attention."

"Will you tell him?"

"No. You'll have to do that or it won't mean anything, will it? Now, let me check your hair."

When I was ready, she called dad, who showed up in his tuxedo. He took one look at me and I saw him swallow, hard. I took his arm, picked up my dress with my other hand, and let him guide me towards the banquet hall. My heart was beating fast and squeezed my dads arm hard, and he patted my hand. I hoped he was proud of me; I had worked very hard to get there! We were seated, and the festivities began. As I looked around I could see that all of the girls had, like me, gone all out, and they were all beautiful. After dinner…

"Ladies! Ladies! Oh, and fathers too, lets begin shall we? I will draw names for your position on the court, the final name drawn being the girl that will be our Princess for the year, and that girl will be on the cover of our calendar as well as having her pick of the month she wants to represent. Lets begin shall we?"

Janet, Kim, Heather, Maryjane, Alison, Faith, Sonja, Carolyn, Kelly, Diane; she called out, one after the other. Squeals could be heard around the room, then it was down to two, me and Elaine. She drew the name and held it out for a moment, making the wait worse! I found myself desperately wanting to be the Princess! "Beth" she called. It would be Elaine that would be the Princess! I smiled for her of course, but I was crushed; then it happened. Elaine stood up.

"I…I… I can't do it! I just can't!"

"And why not dear?"

Her mother stood up. "Elaine cannot represent your magazine because she signed a modeling contract well before this contest! She did not withdraw because you said it would be determined by the luck of the draw, and since she had won, we accepted the risk that her name might be drawn. I'm sorry, but…."

"I see" The lady said. Well, in that case, the winner is Beth! You have no objections do you?"

"Hel… ah… no Ma'am."

"Thank you! If you can come up here?"

Dad escorted me to the stage where I was crowned and given a check for ten thousand dollars! I started to cry, but dad handed me a tissue and I blotted away the tears. I was both excited and overwhelmed by winning, but dad managed to get me back to my seat safely. That night, when we got back to my room, mom helped me out of the dress and a I changed into a skirt, a short one, and a blouse before she and I went to see dad.

"It looks like you're going to be a girl for at least a year." he said, no anger in his voice. "But, I know just how much you wanted to win, and I also know that you want to keep on being a girl, so it all works out, doesn't it?"

"You're not mad at me are you?"

"Mad? No. I'm not even disappointed honey; I realized it when I saw you walk out of your room tonight. You looked radiant, just as a pretty girl should when she is about to get crowned a Princess. Will I miss my son? Yes of course, but it seems that I have gained a daughter that is just as nice, and besides, now I'll have someone to spoil me, other than your mother!"

Now, no matter how you cut it, that wasn't the reaction I was expecting! I was sure that he would blow up, make a scene, yell, something, anything, but no. I wondered if he never wanted a son to start with! I started to cry, a sobbing yank that I could not stop. Wanting to be a girl and getting it, even with modest approval meant nothing if he never wanted me to begin with! I ran in my room, mom right behind me.

"Honey! What's the matter? Why are you crying?"

"Dad never wanted me! He just said so! He said that I was a better daughter than a son! He….he…"

"He loves you dearly honey! He just can't, because… well, he just cannot admit, even to himself that you like being a girl so much that you're willing to give up what he sees as everything to be one! Honey" mom said gently as he took my face in her hands, "in his world men have all the advantages, and he just can't grasp the idea that any male, of any age, would want to be a female! He loves you, and I know that he's very proud of you! You have done nothing but do your very best to be the perfect daughter since this all began, and he knows full well that you had to work very hard to become as feminine as you have! He's…. confused, but at no time did he ever not love you, support you, or be proud of you! Now, I want you to go out there and hug him. Tell him you love him, tell him you need him, and thank him for loving you back, okay?"

I ran out of my room, almost tackling my dad as he sat in that chair. I hugged him tightly, kissed his cheek, and told him that I loved and needed him more than ever. He put his arm around me and stroked my hair, kissed me back, and we stayed that way for a long time before I said anything.

"Dad, I know that you wanted a son, but this just happened! I screwed up by sending that thing in, but now, after all this time…"

"I know honey. I don't understand it… this phenomenon, but I won't make you be something other than what you are! If I forced the issue all that would happen is that you would be miserable, miss all those engagements they have scheduled for you, and I'd miss having you around! As it happens, you have become a wonderful young lady, one that anyone would be proud of, I know I am! Now go get ready for bed. We have a big day ahead of us."

My journey, from the beginning to that point had been hard. I never wanted to be a girl. I had never dressed up in secret or anything like that, but after a few months of being a girl full time, every day, in every situation, I had come to be very comfortable in the role of a girl. Yet, while I knew that I was still a boy, I could no longer see myself as one! I even doubted that I could act like one by the time we flew to Hawaii! I lay in bed that night trying to find a way, any way, that I could quit being a girl, but the plain fact was that I liked being a girl, so I simply gave up trying to figure out why.

Girls take longer to get ready to go anywhere! They fuss about makeup and hair, what to wear and when, which boy to go after and who not. They have certain personal needs that require special attention, and they always know how to turn their charm on and off. Guys on the other hand can get ready to go anywhere in ten minutes, and contrary to popular opinion among the boys, they do not do the selecting. It's the girls. So, who's ahead? After being a girl for so long, I have the opinion that women are ahead. My struggle to accept myself was over, and now, I have become the very thing I did not want to be.

I wore my bike shorts, the tight ones and a crop top the next morning, my bikini in a small bag, along with my makeup. My dad had not seen my bikini yet, so I knew that I would have his undivided attention when we did the photo shoot. We left for the airport so we could fly to Maui. Then we rented a car and drove to the beach. It was tedious doing those photos, not at all like I thought it would be, and my dad was okay after he got over just how small my bikini was. Hundreds of pictures were taken in all sorts of poses, then it was over and we had to go home. Once again, we had a very long flight, and crashed when we finally got home.

I had no illusions about my status, even after winning that contest. No matter what, under it all I was still a boy, yet, I had found solace in the fact that my parents, while not eager for me at the beginning, were willing to accept the obvious and let me remain a girl. The next hurtle was going to be when I started school. Everyone knew me, but since I looked nothing at all like my old self, I could only hope that the other kids would not figure it out. My mother knew that I faced a new challenge, one that would require more of me, so she and I went back to see that old lady that fixed me up to start with. Both mom and I explained things to her, and she got that knowing grin on her face.

"I see! Well, congratulation! Lets see if we can undo what I did before and get you ready for school then!" After she returned from a back room, she showed mom and I a panty; a very special panty. "Let me explain the features built into this unit" she said, then went on to describe in great detail how it worked, which shocked both mom and I.

When I heard what that panty could do I was stunned, yet, in a way, very happy. It took most of the day for her to undo that glue job, which was painful at times, then she measured, and fabricated, one of her special panties for me, as each one is individually made to order. Suffice it to say that anyone other than a nurse or doctor would not be able to tell that I was ever a boy when she was done, but there was one other thing that had to be done.

"You are getting" the lady said, "to the age where your body will produce the hormones that will turn you into a male. That means a beard, which girls do not have, so I highly recommend a brand new treatment that's out. I cannot do it myself, but I will suggest a colleague that can. It takes about four days for him to do the entire body including the beard, but he is reasonable in his pricing and will work out a payment schedule if need be."

We went to see the man, who explained that rather than using needles or lasers, the new method used a light source, that was both painless and quick! He offered, so I lay back in his chair, and after spreading some gel, he began. No pain at all, and the tool he used removed the hair in a strip a quarter inch wide by two inches long. I was sold, and so was mom, so he began my treatment right then. I went every day for three weeks, and when he was done I had no more hair than an average girl, and better, no beard would erupt, ever. I was also started on hormones so that my body would round out on it's own. That part took months, but in the end, other than that panty, I had the natural body of a girl my age.

That's how a girl like me got in a pickle that allowed me to become the person I am today.

"God! You're going to be just as cute as can be!"

"But I don't want to wear a dress!"

"Yes dear, I know that, but we both know that you don't have a choice, right? Not after you foolishly said that anyone could do it! I still don't know what came over you, but it's too late for that now, so just stand still and let me help you get ready. We don't want anyone to know that you're a boy do we?"

"Not hardly!"

"Well, lets get started then."

When mom was done with me I was dressed from the skin out like a girl, complete with white panties, white pantyhose, shiny white shoes and a frilly white dress, and worse, a bra! My hair was a wig, but it fastened at the top of my head, and mom had brushed it out so that it looked like it was all my own hair. The white gloves and small white purse were the last straw. I almost ripped everything off, except that my dad walked in right then.

"I can't believe you opened your mouth and ended up volunteering for this! Look at yourself! You look..."

"But I didn't volunteer!"

"She looks just darling, and you know it! Now, go get ready, they're expecting us."

Dad drove, mom sat next to him in the front and I sat in the back. As he approached the hall I began to get real nervous, and it only got worse when mom took me by the hand as we went inside together. With my short life flashing before my eyes, I heard people talking about how cute, darling, or beautiful I was. I ignored all that, remembering exactly what I had said , my biggest mistake ever, the one that got me into this fix...

"Mom! Carol says that she won't do it now! She signed up for camp, thinking it started the week after the wedding, and her mom already paid for her to be there, so now I won't have a flower girl!"

"I know you planned it all out honey, but not having a flower girl isn't the end of the world is it? We'll just do without a flower girl!" My aunt sounded very reasonable.

"But mom, I want a flower girl!"

"What's the big deal?" I said, opening my big mouth, "It's just a girl in a fancy dress carrying a bunch of flowers, heck, anyone could do it!"

"Oh?" they all said at once.

"Well? What's the big deal? Like I said, it's just a girl in a white dress carrying some flowers! Just get somebody else to do it!"

"And who do you suggest?"

"Wait a minute" my cousin Angela, the bride to be, said grinning, "didn't he just say that anyone could do it? Well? Why not him? We all know there's nobody else, and I'll bet he'll look just darling as a flower girl! And besides, who would know, except the family?"

"I'm not wearing a dress!" I said rather loudly, and firmly I thought, but that didn't count I guess.

"But you just said that anyone could do it didn't you? And even though you're a bit older than a normal flower girl would be, you're about the right size..."

"No!" I said vehemently, even louder.

"Since" mom said suddenly, "you were so adamant that anyone could do it, tell me, us, why not you?"

"Because I'm not a girl!"

"It's just a fancy dress you said. Anyone could do it you said; that sounds to me like you're volunteering to me!"

"No way dad! I'm not going to wear a dress...no way!"

"Just how long would this have to last?" Dad finally asked while calmly ignoring me.

"Two rehearsals, the wedding of course, then the reception..." My Aunt was starting to sound excited!

"There are", mom interrupted, "three bridal showers between now and then Angela, don't forget those."

"But he would only have to dress up on those days?" My dad asked, sounding unsure for the first time.

My aunt nodded her head yes, then added..."After he gets fitted for the dress of course, I'm guessing there will have to be some minor alterations, but yes, I would think so, why?"

'So...just a few parties" dad said, "then the rehearsal and wedding? What? Maybe....ten days, two weeks altogether?"

"Assuming everything goes as planned, that sounds about right, but it might go a month, why?" Mom sounded exasperated.

"Because" dad said with a sad but resigned tone in his voice, "I think that since he opened his big mouth, one time to many I might add, that maybe this will be just the lesson he needs to learn when to be quiet! In fact, I'm so tired of his outbursts that I also think he just volunteered to be the flower girl, and I promise you, he will do his very best to act like the proper young lady at all times, won't you?" Dad was staring right at me. "Right?"

"Dad! I don't want to be a flower girl! I don't want to wear some frilly dress... I won't..."

"Don't tell me what you won't do" dad snapped, "or things might just get worse than they already are! The issue is already settled! You opened your big mouth at the wrong time and in the wrong place; I warned you about that before, more than once! Haven't I? Just take your lumps, do your best, and before you know it this will all be over. You'll laugh about this later, I promise."

With my own dad making a ruling like that, nothing I said had any effect on anyone except mom, and all she did was tell me that as soon as we got home she would have to get some measurements, emphasizing with a wide grin that I would need at least six different outfits, all while she and my Aunt were going on and on about how cute I was going to be! Not only did I not want to dress up like a girl, I knew it would get very ugly if I put up a huge fuss, about getting all dressed up like a girl I mean, and for the life of me I just could not figure out how I ended up with my dad demanding that I be some flower girl! He had never done anything like that before, but he had scolded me about mouthing off before; I just never figured he would make me wear a dress!

Mom went into a frenzy when we got home, insisting that I let her take my measurements, and if that wasn't bad enough, I was naked when she did it! As a 12, almost 13 year old boy, I had developed a keen sense of being naked around anyone, let alone my mother, but she cut me no slack and insisted, then went about her task with ruthless efficiency, and you can't imagine what she measured! Figuring I had nothing to worry about for at least two months, you can imagine my shock when two days later she called me into her bedroom, and told me to get undressed again. I could see the clothes on the bed, among other things, a skirt and blouse, panties and shoes, and a wig box!

"I'm going to help you get dressed honey, so you'll have to get undressed."

"But the wedding isn't for almost two months! Why do I have to get dressed up now!? Mom! I don't want to do this! It's crazy, and if anyone finds out, I. .I might as well kill myself! I'll be dead meat around here, and when word gets out in school....why do I have to do this now!?

"Because I want to see how you'll look for one thing, and I need to see how the clothes fit! I need to make sure I got the right sizes! Plus, I want you to have a few days to get used to wearing them since we'll be going shopping together for the rest of your wardrobe later today, tomorrow, and maybe even the next day!"

"The rest?"

"Honestly! Weren't you paying any attention? We have three bridal showers to attend and at least two rehearsals, all before the wedding! That means that you'll need to have at least five outfits, not including the flower girl dress, and that certainly doesn't include some casual clothes for you to wear while you get used to dressing and acting like a girl! Now, please, no more arguments! Take your clothes off and let me help you get ready."

There was no use in trying to fight her about it, because I already knew I was going to lose, dad would make sure of that, or maybe even make it worse if I resisted, so I started to undress. My hair, courtesy of the wig mom used, hung straight down and went a little past my shoulders, was parted in the middle with short bangs, and had a ribbon to hide where she attached it to the top of my head. The top fit me snugly and accented the small mounds on my chest, while my legs stuck out from under the short denim skirt. The panties were okay I guess, but the tightness of the bra felt really strange. The pantyhose made my legs look shiny and smooth, maybe even longer than I thought they were, and the white flats made my feet look smaller. Small earrings, a bracelet and a necklace were nothing compared to the way I looked with makeup on. I had been shocked into silence while mom was gushing when she stood me in front of the mirror. I hated to admit it, but I looked like most of the girls in my class!

"See? I told you that you would look just darling!"

"Mom?"

"What dear?"

"Do I really have to do this? I don't want to dress up like a girl!"

"Yes dear, we know that, but ever since you started middle school, you have been mouthy and rude, you have started to talk back, and have the very bad habit of saying whatever was on your mind! We've warned you over and over about that, didn't we? Maybe your friends can get away with talking like that, but we're absolutely not going to tolerate it. When you said that anyone could do it, we all know that you meant any girl could do it, but maybe, by making you do this, you'll learn to use your manners and quit being so rude all the time! We simply aren't going to let you get away with that kind of behavior! That's why you are going to do this, and I really do hope that you take my advice and try to become as feminine as possible!" As an aside she added... "Besides, I'll bet that you're not anxious for your friends to find out, are you? Which means that you'll be forced to act like the little girl you look like or they might just find out!"

Determined is what she sounded like, just like my dad. I had tears in my eyes when I asked, "Is this... what I'll look like at the wedding?"

"Of course not! By the time of the wedding your own hair will be almost long enough. You'll get some short extensions added I would guess, then have it done at the salon just like all of the other girls in the wedding, and they'll probably do your makeup as well. Why? Is there a problem?"

"It's... I didn't think that I would be so...look so...this is terrible mom!"

"Why? Because you're pretty? Come over here and sit down a minute." After I sat next to her on the bed..."If you think about it, being a pretty girl is actually going to help you! What I mean is, if you don't look like you, then who is going to find out, and isn't that what you said you wanted? Didn't you tell us that if you had to do this, then you didn't want anyone to know?"

"Yeah, but..."

"But what? Go look in the mirror again, then tell me that any of your friends would know that the girl standing there is really you!"

"They wouldn't I guess, but..."

"You know" mom said ignoring my pleading eyes, "if you had been born a girl, your name would have been Susan, so how about we call you that, while you're dressed as a girl I mean."

"Yeah, whatever, I guess, but.... this is so... I feel like a dork mom, I don't think I can..."

"Okay then" she said, still ignoring me, "now that we have that settled, shall we go? I have a purse here for you to carry. Put your lipstick and a few tissues in it, and while you do that I'll get my purse and we can go."

"Do I have to go... outside? Really?"

"Yes dear, you have to go. The clothes have to fit, which means that you'll have to try them on, at least the dresses anyway, now do what I said and we'll go."

It felt strange to walk around in that skirt, but I managed, and I was fine, right up until mom and I walked outside. I saw Billy, my friend from next door coming up the drive! My first instinct was to run in the house, but mom put her hand on my shoulder and held me there. He looked right at me for a moment, then asked if I were at home! Mom told him I would be gone for a while, and introduced me as Susan. He said hi, then walked away! He didn't know who I was! I was both saddened as well as elated, knowing that he did not recognize me, yet there was that gigantic leap my brain had made when I saw how he looked at me. I looked like a girl, something I never thought possible, then having my best friend look at me that way, well, it made me feel icky. Billy was walking home, and as we passed him in the car, he waved. I didn't wave back. The first place we went was a discount store where mom bought several packages of panties, most of them with a design on them, then more pairs of pantyhose, two skirts and several tops or blouses. Then I tried on shoes, getting two pair. I couldn't see why I needed all that stuff, but mom said I would, so rather than draw attention to myself, I kept silent. From there we went to the mall, but on the way...

"Since you'll want to fit in as completely as you can, I was wondering, what about getting your ears pierced?"

"Do I have to?"

"No, but the holes will heal up rather quickly when this is over, and in the meantime you'll be able to wear earrings that won't hurt your earlobes. That's the only reason I asked."

"As long as I don't have to walk around with holes in my ears, I guess it'll be okay, if you're sure the holes will heal up I mean."

"They will, I promise. Lets get that done first, then we'll see about some better help for you. I been noticing that most girls your age are a bit bigger busted than I thought they would be. I guess I never paid any attention before, so we'll take care of that first, then see about some bras and other things before we check out the party dresses."

She took me into a specialty lingerie shop, one that sold things for women that were not as full figured as they wanted to be. Mom told the lady right out that my boobs were too small for a girl my age, and wondered if she could help. Trying to sink into the floor did no good at all, especially after the lady said yes. It was horrendously humiliating to have to take the blouse off and have her see that I was a boy, but the lady didn't flinch. Instead she pulled out a pair of what she said were A cup breasts, showed them to mom and I, and when mom nodded her head, she promptly stuck them to my chest! With some glue!

"These are just right for a growing girl like you, but you'll have to take them off at least once a month to let the skin breath, okay? Other than that, I can promise you that very soon they'll feel like they're your very own!"

Looking in the mirror, and even as little as I knew about boobs, they sure looked real enough to me, and they were the same color as my skin! I couldn't even see a line where they met my chest unless I looked really close! The lady left mom and I alone so I could get dressed, and as mom handed me the bra, I asked her what the lady meant when she said I had to take them off once a month.

"She told me that they attached honey, but I figured they used tape or something! I had no idea they used glue, honest, I didn't!"

"Does this mean that I have to have them on my chest for a month!? Mom!!!"

"Calm down and I'll ask her to be sure I understand. Just go ahead and get dressed while I ask."

When mom confronted the lady she asked, "You said a month? Does that mean she can't get them off before then? We didn't plan on this you see, and..."

"Well, yes, she could, but most of the girls that come in here, our special girls, the ones like her, normally don't want them to come off, and I just assumed...you were here with her, so I figured you already knew that, and it was okay! Is this going to be a problem?"

"What happens if we try to remove them before then?"

"Well" I heard the lady say, "the skin can become very irritated if you try to take them off too soon, say two weeks? I'd say that's the very minimum time I'd wait, and even then I would be very careful. I'm terribly sorry about this; I had no idea... but when you brought her in, I thought that you knew all this! Please, let me make it up to you, to her, please!"

"But how!? Susan is the one that will have to be dressing as a girl for the next month or so, and that's something we didn't plan on, so how can you make it up to her now?"

"Even though the market is quite small, we also carry a special panty for girls like Susan. If she wears it properly, it will allow her to fit in with other girls in any function she chooses, with absolutely no fear of discovery. If you like, I'll fit her right now, or you can come back after you think about it, say... a few days?"

Mom told the lady she would think about it, paid the bill, grabbed my hand and stalked out of the store. She once again apologized for her mistake, and I believed her when she said she had no idea that lady would glue the breasts to my chest, but still, I was the one stuck with them! There was no way that I could hide them, and that meant that I would have to dress like a girl, every day, until after the wedding, almost two months away! Mom squeezed my hand as we walked to a small cafe, got a soft drink and sat at a small table.

"I guess" mom said softly, "we're all stuck now, aren't we? And you'll have to believe me when I say that I had no idea this would happen, but it looks like you'll just have to adapt to a new way of life, at least for the next few months honey. I know it'll be hard, but just about the time we could get those off, you'll need them again!"

"I'll have to dress like this...as a girl, all the time won't I?"

"It looks like it, doesn't it?" Dejected, I sat there looking into my drink. "It's not so bad being a girl you know, after all, I'm a girl and I turned out alright didn't I?"

"Yeah but..." Then I started to cry.

"Don't cry honey, it was a mistake, that's all. We'll just have to make the best of it...okay?" I wiped my eyes as she said..."Since it looks like you'll be a girl a bit longer than we planned on, why don't we get you some jeans and shorts, and maybe another skirt and a few nice dresses for church and a nice pair of nice low heels to go with your church dresses!"

Despite how I felt about my growing dilemma, that's exactly what happened. Mom bought me some jeans, some shorts, two more tops, a pair of capri pants, two more dresses, and a pair of low heels. When we got home and took it all into my room, I was faced with having to remove some of my own clothes just to make room for the new stuff! Briefs were replaced with panties, pantyhose and bras, my pants with skirts and dresses. Mom helped me put things away, then opened her purse and gave me a lipstick, telling me that I could wear it if I wanted to. I set it on the dresser instead. Telling me that I might as well get it over with, she said that I should go outside, and maybe ride around on my bike.

"I want you to put some shorts on, then I want you to go outside until dinner time."

"Do I have to?"

"I'm not going to let you spend the next two months cooped up and hiding in the house Susan! Now, do what I said. Change your clothes and go outside!"

I did not want to go outside, not looking like a girl anyway, but mom, even though she was the one that lead to my dilemma, wasn't about to tolerate any more back talk, so I was really stuck and I knew it. The plain fact was that sooner or later I would have to go outside whether I wanted to or not. So, taking one last look in the mirror I sighed as mom patted my shoulder. Long blond hair, lipstick, earrings and boobs, there wasn't much left of the old me! My only consolation was that Billy had not recognized me. Shopping with mom was one thing, she could protect me, but being outside and dressed like a girl in my own neighborhood was just plain scary. I changed into the shorts and as I walked around the side of the house I could feel the breasts bouncing in the bra, the unfamiliar tug on my chest a clear reminder of my new status. I was supposed to act like a girl, and those breasts kept driving that home. Taking my bike, I rode down the driveway, almost making it to the street. I saw Janice coming towards me. Janice lived three houses down.

"Hi! I'm Janice!"

"Susan" I told her, using the name mom gave me.

"You're new here."

"Yeah, I'll be here for a few months I guess."

"Cool! Want to come over to my house? You can meet my mom?"

"I better ask" I told her, "I'm not sure that I can."

"I'll wait then!"

Of course mom said it was okay, sounding overjoyed that Janice wanted to have me as a friend. Janice and I hung around together all day. But almost everything she did was alien to me, like the way she talked, that funny question in everything she said, then there was the time she wanted to go tease Billy. I refused to do that, which is when she decided that she wanted to play with her dolls! That took a lot of acting on my part, but Janice never seemed to notice, and I went home just before dinner. Dad really went ballistic when mom told him why I would have to be a girl full time for at least two months, and threatened to sue that shop until mom said he would do no such thing. Mom said that as bad as it might seem, it would be good for me to practice being a girl, and since he was the one that insisted I learn a lesson... well, lets just say that he lost that discussion... I think. Maybe it was me that lost. Dad was fuming, but he quit making threats, then he suggested that maybe, since everyone in the neighborhood knew me, that I might feel a bit more comfortable staying with my grandma, and after having spent the whole day as a girl, I thought it was a great idea myself.

"But why?" mom asked, "Susan is our... daughter, at least for a while anyway, and I don't see any reason for her to run off and hide! She has already spent the day outside playing with Janice, and her friend Billy didn't know who she was, so I see no reason why she would have to spend the summer with grandma!"

"That's fine with me" dad said sourly, "if that's your decision, but you should be aware that two months is a long time, longer than either you might imagine! What I mean is, maybe we should try to find some sort of activity that our son can fit into easily, especially since he'll be wearing a dress!"

"That's a wonderful idea" mom said with a sudden grin, "I know that Janice is involved with some kind of group, let me call her mother and find out what it is, then we'll see if Susan can join!"

After dinner that's exactly what mom did, and after talking to Janice's mom for a while, she came to find me. I was watching television with dad.

"Janice belongs to the Young Nurses, and she told me they are always looking for new girls to join, so I made all the arrangements. Susan and I will go out in the morning and talk to the lady that runs the program, but I think it'll be a wonderful experience for Susan, and she'll be with Janice! Maybe she'll make some other new friends!" Mom paused a moment, then wagged her finger at me and we went into the kitchen. "Your father is right honey, two months is a long time, and since it looks like you'll probably be spending a lot of time around girls your age, I was wondering if maybe we shouldn't take that lady up on her offer? What I mean is, if she has something that will make you look like a girl, down there I mean, then maybe we should go back and see what she has. I don't know anything about what the lady has, but I know you don't want anyone to find out, and we certainly don't want you to get into any trouble, so maybe we should at least check it out?"

"That means that I wouldn't be able to...that I would look like a girl? All over!? I would have to...do things like a girl?!"

"Like I said, I'm not sure, she wasn't very clear on that, but she did say that it would eliminate any chance of discovery, so I'm assuming that you would be able to wear anything Janice could wear, and yes, I think it would not only make you look like a girl all over, but if I'm guessing right, you'll have to do everything the way a girl does! But if you have to dress like a girl anyway, wouldn't you rather make sure nobody finds out who you really are?"

"Yeah, but that would mean that I..."

"That you would almost be a real girl, and I also think that we should drive over there tomorrow morning and see what that lady meant, don't you?"

No matter what I really wanted, all it took for me was to look down and see boobs sticking out, my boobs, and I knew that mom was right, especially if I was going to be around a lot of other girls. And spending almost the entire summer at home as a girl and not having to worry about Billy or anyone else finding, regardless of how it was done could only be a good thing, so I nodded my head yes, then broke out crying, falling into mom's arms sobbing. I did not want to be a girl, didn't want to be in any wedding, didn't want to look like a girl all over, and I didn't want to join some all girl group. All I saw ahead was terror and disgrace. Mom stroked my hair, apologized again, then told me that once I got used to it, being a girl wasn't that bad, and might even be fun if I just let it happen. That night I slept in a long cotton nightgown that mom gave me, telling me that I might as well get used to it. The next morning after I was ready, Mom and I went back to the same shop where the lady sort of smirked before she showed us what she had talked about. My eyes almost fell out of my head, mom gasped, and the lady smiled as she pointed to one of the changing booths.

I was embarrassed as hell as mom stood there watching when I was fitted for one of the ladies special panties, and when she was done, and just like the boobs, if you didn't know I was a boy, you probably never would. It was nerve wracking to see myself in the mirror, all traces of my manhood gone, replaced by a... I looked just like a girl! In two days I had become a girl in almost every way, but the lady solidly drove that home when she told me that I would have to do things in the bathroom the way girls do, and for me not to forget that. As if! So, there I was, a completely normal 12, almost 13 year old boy, except for the fact that I looked just like a completely normal 13 year old girl! Only my hair would give me away, or so I thought. On the way home mom stopped at a beauty shop, had them remove the fall, then style my hair like a girl with shorter hair would. By then I virtually had no fight left in me, and just sat there and let the girl do what mom told her. To be truthful, it was a lot cooler without the wig. When we were almost home, mom and I stopped at Janice's house so mom could pick up Janice and take us to see the lady that ran the Young Nurses group.

I was enrolled on the spot, told what I had to wear, and was given a schedule. Janice and I made sure that I would be working the same days as she did, which was going to make it easier on me, but I still had no idea what the group did! All I knew was that I would be helping real nurses. Janice said she would loan me one of her uniforms, and mom took us home. That afternoon was the very first time I ever saw a real girl almost naked. Janice took me to her bedroom, handed me one of her uniforms and promptly undressed! She put hers on, then watched as I stripped down to my panties and bra and stepped into the short white skirt and slipped into the red and white stripped blouse, then I saw her staring at me.

"What!?"

"Nothing Susan, sorry. It's just that I thought you were someone else playing a trick on me."

"But?"

"But you're a girl, and the person I'm thinking of is a boy."

"I'm not a boy!" I said, the lie so easily coming to my lips.

"Yeah. I saw. Lets go show your mom the uniforms!"

Mom said we looked "adorable", then told us to go change so we wouldn't get the uniforms dirty. That night dad figured out something was different about me, but didn't ask me, he asked mom, and once again started fuming when he found out. That night I got my first lesson in using the bath, but everything seemed okay, even though I felt very weird. In the morning I got dressed, selecting a pair of shorts and a top. That's the morning that Billy stopped by. I could tell by the look on his face that he thought he should know me, so I got real girlie on him.

"Hi" he said, "I'm Billy? We met the other day?"

"Yeah, I remember. I'm Susan."

"Where's Greg?"

"He's gone for the summer."

"You and Janice, you're spending a lot of time together."

"She and I have a lot in common."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Janice and I are in the Young Nurses together."

"So, will I see you around this summer?"

"Some I guess, why?"

"Just wondering, that's all. See ya!"

"Bye."

Billy walked off, leaving me standing there. I was shaking a bit. Just like I had with Janice, I had actually told him I was a girl! I knew it was for my own self defense, but still, it made me wonder what was happening to me. I started walking to Janice's house since I had nowhere else to go. Janice and I hung around together a while, then I went home, bored out of my mind. I couldn't do any of the things I normally would have, like head for the railroad tracks with Billy and throw stones at the trains, or maybe tease Janice, but there was no way that was going to happen! I went in the house and flopped on a chair just as mom came into the room.

"What's the matter honey?"

"There's nothing to do! I mean, I used be able to do lots of stuff, but now..." I started to cry again.

"It's going to take a few days to adjust honey. How about this? Call Janice and see if she would like to go to the mall with us. You and I have to pick out your dresses anyway, and maybe she would like to come along? We'll make a day of it, okay?" Trying on, then buying dresses for myself sounded crazy to me, and made me feel as if it would be the final step. "I know how much you like to use the pool" mom added, "so maybe we'll also get you a suit. Go ahead and call Janice and see if she wants to come along honey, it'll be a fun day, I promise."

I loved going to the pool, but I knew that if I went, I would have to wear a girls bathing suit. Just thinking of that gave me the chills. If I went to the pool as a girl, then everyone would see that I positively looked like a girl! There wouldn't be any doubt in anyone's mind, which might be good, but what about after?! Mom saw me hesitate, then took my hand and stood me in front of the mirror, asking me to say that I looked like anything but a girl. With my eyes still wet, I couldn't say it, and after mom urged me to call, I phoned Janice, asked her if she wanted to go to the mall with mom and I, and got an excited yes. Then my mom took the phone and talked to her mom.

We picked up Janice and her mother, then headed for the mall, but unlike Janice, I wasn't all that excited about it. I never wanted to end up as a girl anyway, but I was on my way to buy dresses and maybe even a girls swimsuit...for me! Janice had seen me in a bra and panties, which convinced her that I was a girl, then I had told my very best friend in the whole world that I was a girl, which only dug a deeper hole for me to try and climb out of later on, if I had to, and even if I could! Janice was excited to be out shopping, something I had always dreaded, and it took all of my strength to not be sullen and ornery about it. The four of us went in the mall, my mom suggesting, no, make that telling me, that for an affair like a wedding, every girl should have some fancy underwear, and we all went into one of those shops that as a boy, I always liked to look in the window but wouldn't dare go into. I only had to try on one thing, a bra that mom picked out; it was white, very sheer, with lace trim and hooked in the front. Then she went and picked out two more of them! One white, the other flesh colored, with high cut panties to match.

When I tried it on I could see for myself that the bra did very little to hide anything; about all it did was push them up while holding things in place! Once I was dressed, we left there and headed for the bridal shop to get fitted for the dress I would need wear in the wedding. It was white with small blue flowers on it, with a round neck surrounded by lace trim, almost floor length, with a pale blue ribbon that went around the waist and short sleeves mom said were called "cap sleeves". Each one had a small blue bow on it, and with the petticoats, was just about the most feminine dress I had ever seen! I had to try it on so it could be altered to fit me, and when the lady was done and I was once again dressed, we went through the mall until we came to a store that sold party and prom dresses. Because I had "at least three bridal showers to attend" mom told me, I was going to get three dresses, since "no woman would wear the same dress to parties when some of the same women would be there". That made no sense to me, but since I had no say, I once again kept silent, although after being fitted for that first dress, I was a bit less tense.

Janice was in her glory as she flitted from one rack to another, dragging me along as she went, and sadly, I started to become as giddy as she was. I picked out two that I liked, mom picked out a few, then I tried them all on. In the end, I got both of mine and one of mom's. Then it was on to a department store where I got new heels in black, and red, plus flats in tan and white, and lastly, some sandals. Janice bought a pair of pink flats, and as we left that area....

"Let's get Susan' pierced earrings" mom said, "I promised her we could do that, and while we're there she can get some jewelry she'll need."

That's exactly what happened. I got about twelve pairs of cheap earrings plus three matching sets for the wedding and so on, plus some hair clips. Janice also bought some stuff, and from there mom headed for one of those sports stores, saying that I had changed so much that I needed a new suit. That was for Janice and her mothers benefit I think, and once we were in the store, she went straight for the suits for girls, but not one of them met the standards our mothers had set. We left for the mart where mom and I picked out two, one a full suit, which was bad enough, but the other was a two piece. Once we got home, mom had me try everything on again, the last thing was that two piece suit. See, the thing is, boys aren't supposed to look the way I did, but with boobs and no manlies, well, I did, and it really gave me the willies. The top was okay I guess, I expected that, but the bottoms, well, they fit real snug, revealing a lot, especially the way they fit in the crotch! That thin slit I had seemed to.... you could almost see it! I walked out to show mom, and saw her talking to Billy!

"Oh my! That looks wonderful honey! It fits you perfectly!"

"Hi Susan."

"Hi Billy."

"New suit?"

"Yeah. I got it today."

"Her old one just wouldn't do any more, so we picked this one up today." Mom didn't lie, but the impression she left was..."

"Looks good on you Susan! You going to go to the pool?"

"It's the only place around here, so probably, yeah, I guess so, why?"

"I'm going over there with my buddy Tom tomorrow, and was wondering if you might be there, that's all."

"Maybe, I don't know yet."

Billy left for home, but I was left standing there fully aware for the first time not only how feminine I looked, but how my best friend was starting to think of me! Thinking I was a girl, he was starting to see if I were interested! In him! I glanced at mom, but all she said was that it was up to me! I went in the kitchen to ask why she said that, but that's just when dad walked the house. He took one look at me and his face went red, then purple, then back to just red before he said a word.

"What the hell! You look....how did you... never mind! I don't think I want to know! Go put some clothes on, right now!" As I left I could hear my dad..."I know what you said, but how is it that he can wear...."

I lost track of what dad was saying after that, but I can guess. I slipped on a pair of jeans and pulled a tee on, then went back in the kitchen. Dad seemed a bit less angry as I walked out the back door. I walked down to the street and stood there for a moment, unsure where I should go, and started for Janice's house when Billy rode up on his bike.

"You look a lot like Greg."

"Some I guess, we're related."

"Yeah. Ah... listen, like I said, me and some of the other kids are going to the pool, then Maryanne is having a get together at her house, and I was wondering if you might want to go?"

"I don't know Maryanne" I said, even though I knew her very well.

"You can come as my guest, if you want to that is."

"I... I'm not sure my mom would let me, but..."

"So...will you ask? I can wait here, if you go ask right now..."

I went in and casually told mom what Billy said, hoping she would tell me to stay home, but she didn't. She told me I could go, as long as her parents would be there. Dad heard it all, and asked me if I realized that Billy was asking me out on a date of sorts.

"Date? No way dad, it's just a bunch of kids getting together!"

"It's a date" he said forcefully, "with a boy!"

"Yes" mom said, "you can go, and no, it isn't a date! Go tell Billy you'll meet him at the pool, but tell him you'll have to come home to change."

Well, I went to the pool, wearing the two piece, which was my choice. I was still mentally fighting with myself about the way I looked, yet somehow, had come enjoy dressing as a girl, in a way. I liked the makeup for one; and the taste of lipstick. That's why I figured that my best chance to convince everyone that I was a girl was to wear something that would eliminate any and all doubt. If I had to be a girl, then I had to be a total girl! Janice and I went together, joining in with some other girls that were already there, and I knew every one of them. The boys stayed together, like the girls did, with very little interaction, just a lot of laughing and giggling. I went in the water exactly once, then got out and dried off. Later at home I changed into a denim skirt with a pink pull over top that had the word "Princess" written in glitter on the front. It was one mom bought. Dad drove me and Janice to the party, leaving only after he was assured that Maryanne's parents would be there. Since I still had the social skills of a boy, I felt out of place and very awkward around all those kids. Just like at the pool, the girls tended to huddle together in one place, the boys in another, with a lot of stares going both ways.

"I think Brian likes you Susan." It was Maryanne.

"Who's Brian?" I asked, one of the few that I did not know.

"The tall one...over there next to the railing, by the pop."

"What makes you say that?"

"He asked me about you, that why."

"Billy likes her too" Janice said, "he's been over to her house three times already!"

"Yeah, but I'm not interested in boys!"

"Yeah right!" Both Janice and Maryanne said as one.

I did my best to steer clear of the boys, but Brian did say hi to me... once. By the time I got home I was a wreck. The fact that my best friend in the whole world thought I was a girl, and was interested in me was bad enough, but having someone else getting interested in me really scared me, and I began to wonder if I had already become more of a girl than I imagined possible, or ever wanted to happen! All I wanted to do was get this over with! That night when I went to bed, I undressed and stood looking at my body, from my styled hair down past my face, still wearing some makeup, then to my breasts, my bubble butt, rounded hips, and finally my groin. Not one sign that I was a boy was left. The only thing that was left was my shattered and badly beaten self esteem. I cupped a breast in each hand, then let my hand slide down between my legs, merely confirming what I already knew. I had become a girl, and everyone thought so too. As that thought settled in my mind, I had no idea just how much more like a girl I was going to get. That happened two days later when I was at breakfast.

I was sitting there with mom when I felt a warmness in my groin, and since I knew that I had not peed my pants, I quickly stood up. Mom saw the trickle of red running down my leg, and quickly rushed me into my bathroom, telling me to undress. My panties were red in the front!

"Oh my God! You've started your period!"

"That's impossible mom! Boys don't have periods!"

"Be quiet and do what I tell you! Go in the bathroom, take those off and put them in the sink! I'll be right back!"

A period? Me? It was impossible, yet I could not deny the fact that I had blood running down my leg, and my groin was all bloody! Mom returned quickly, showed me how to clean up, then handed me a small tube and proceeded to tell me how to use it! Like me, mom looked stunned when that tube slipped into me with almost no effort! I thought she was going to faint! Still stunned at what had happened, I put on clean panties, then shorts and clean socks, then went to find mom. I had to find out why I was having a period! We both knew it was impossible, yet.... Mom was on the phone, the look on her face was one of stunned silence when she turned to face me.

"I just talked to that lady? The one that gave you those that panty? It seems that it's designed to be as fully functional and accurate as possible. She told me to read the instructions, but since you seemed to be able to function well enough, I guess I didn't bother! She reminded me that there are six small packets of simulated blood inside the panty that are time released for about a month apart! That means that you'll be having periods for as long as you wear that panty!"

"Mom!"

"I know, it's my fault for not reading the instructions, but since it's already happened, you'll just have to do what all the other girls do, and put up with it! It'll only last a week, I promise."

Once again there was nothing I could do. Janice and I were just sitting around when I mentioned that I had started my periods, and she confided that she had already had two. Knowing that about each other seemed to cement our relationship and we became even closer. On Monday morning, wearing a borrowed uniform, Janice and I reported to the nursing home and I began my stint as part of the Young Nurses. My job was to make sure the residents had what they needed, including a friendly someone to talk to. Over the next week I began to enjoy working there because all of the people there tended to treat me like a granddaughter. Mom bought me three uniforms of my own that week. After I had that period, it seemed as if I fell into a routine that was all girl, and as I began to use the gained knowledge of the way girls used their hands and arms, and talked, my life was almost normal. Dad settled down, mom fussed over me, and Janice thought of me as a sister of sorts. Billy kept his distance but kept watching me, Brian never called, and my life revolved around Janice and my work.

When I went to the first bridal shower I wore a simple blue and white dress that was fitted, about knee length with white heels, my hair brushed out in a flip. I had no idea what went on at a bridal shower since boys never attend, but it was actually fun, especially when Angela opened several gifts that turned out to be very sexy lingerie! She flatly refused to model them for us, but she had a gleam in her eye anyway. Nobody hinted at or even suggested that I wasn't a girl, there was no teasing, hints, nothing. Then I was handed a gift by Angela.

"Every girl needs to feel sexy Susan, and I picked this out just for you myself!"

I opened the box, removed the paper, then held up a powder blue babydoll nightgown!

"Try it on" someone said...

"Yes! Try it on!"

That started everyone chanting, and as I looked at the circle of women, I held out the tiny panties and the sheer bra. Looking over at mom, she whispered in my ear.

"Go ahead honey, if you don't, Angela might think there's something wrong with it, and we would all like to see it. Besides, it would let you....show off? Make a point? Get it?" I did.

I took the box and headed for Angela's bedroom, took the dress, bra and panties off, then put the entire set on. Still wearing the low heels and the pantyhose, I sauntered back into the room with a grin on my face. That babydoll didn't hide a thing, and almost all of the changes that I had undergone were clearly evident, from the tiny groove in the front of the panty to my breasts, which could be seen through the sheer see through top. There was a lot of whistling, but Angela, my Aunt, and grandma were all wide eyed and silent as I paraded around the room, grinning the whole time. Then I went back to the bedroom to change. I knew when I agreed to try it on and walk around like that that I was going cause some people to wonder what was going on, but by then I had become very comfortable as a girl, and simply didn't care any more. That night I appeared in the family room wearing that same babydoll, which caused my dad to almost choke, especially since he could see the G-string I was wearing and how it fit me.

"Is this what this has come to!?" he sort of said loudly. "Our son can wear something like that!? And look more like a girl than a real girl!?"

"It was a gift, and yes, this is what it has come to" mom said, "so quit harping on it! You knew all along that she had to dress this way. Besides, she's already had her first period, so why shouldn't she look like a girl?!"

"Her period! That's impossible! Dammit! As soon as the wedding is over this all stops, and I mean it!"

I looked over at mom who was stone faced, then back at dad, and said one word.

"No."

"No? What does that mean?"

"It means that I can't go back to being a boy, not now!"

"And why not?"

"I... I... I think it would be better to wait a little? Until... until the start of school is closer?"

"Maybe she's right honey" mom said quickly, "maybe waiting until the last minute would make the transition back to being a boy easier... right?"

I attended all the rest of the bridal parties, participated in the wedding, danced with some kid who was my age and one of the groomsmen, then spent the next three weeks working and hanging around Janice. Then the day finally came, and I had to quit being Susan and go back to being Greg. Mom and I told Janice that I had to go back to where I came from, then we spent a lot of time removing all my special stuff. Mom trimmed my hair a little, then I got dressed in normal boy clothes for the first time in months. It was real hard for me to see myself like that since I wasn't used to it, but it was harder trying to do things the way guys did! Things like walking, or using my hands and arms, and I had to quit talking in that breathlessly questioning way girls did. I didn't go out of the house for almost three days because I kept practicing, and to be truthful, I hated every minute of it. As silly as it sounds, I missed being a girl and really didn't want to quit when I did.

Mom let me keep all the clothes and stuff, and other than her trim, did not make me cut my hair. School was very painful and only got worse when I saw the girls, the way they were dressed, smelled and acted, and of course, most of the guys wanted to tease them. Mom said that it was normal for boys to tease the girls because they were starting to become attracted to them, but as the days went by I began to feel like I belonged with the girls, and that feeling only got worse as time went on. The torment I was suffering inside finally came to a head, and about two months after school started. I got all dressed up. The relief I felt was better than fantastic, it was as if a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was wearing the green and white checked skirt with a white top and the black flats, makeup, and had fixed my hair when I stood in front of the mirror. Every emotion I had rushed through me when I saw my reflection, from joy all the way to disgust. I loved the way I looked, and wanted to be able to dress that way, but I also knew that boys weren't supposed like wearing skirts, makeup, perfume, ribbons, pantyhose or heels. As much as I wanted to leave my room I didn't dare, so I stayed there, all dressed up, always on the verge of tears.

I flopped on the bed, just sitting there for a while, then slipped off the shoes, the first step in returning to my boy self. An hour later I was showered and back to being a boy, and once again felt the weight of the forbidden pressing down on me. Sulking, I meandered into the kitchen, grabbed a juice box and sat down, wondering why I was the only boy in the world that wanted to dress like a girl.

"Honey? Is something wrong? You look miserable!"

"Nah, I'm alright" I said, then burst into uncontrollable tears.

Mom scooped me into her arms, just holding me until my sobs became whimpers, prodding me to tell her what was wrong. When I told her that I wanted to be Susan all the time, I heard her suck in her breath. As confused as I was about the way I felt, I simply couldn't understand why mom was surprised! She was the one that started it all, encouraging me to be as feminine as possible.

"I see! I knew that you adapted quite well to being a girl, but... I guess I never figured that you would..."

"Boys aren't supposed to feel this way mom! Never mind! Just forget what I said...okay? I'll get by."

After just a short pause..."You know" mom said softly, "I miss having a girl around here. Maybe we can arrange for Susan to visit? Maybe get together with Janice and do something that's fun? How about that?"

"What about dad? He'll get angry at me again!"

"I'll take care of that, but for now, let's plan on Susan returning and going out this Saturday! Okay?"

True to her word, that Friday night she put my hair in rollers, and the following morning, I got up, did my makeup and hair, then got dressed in my tan and white plaid skirt with the tight white top, pantyhose, jewelry, the whole works. The mere fact that I could get dressed up and leave my room made me feel overjoyed, but being able to actually go somewhere was even better if a bit scary. My biggest concern was that Janice might actually figure out what was going on. With all that going on in my mind, I left my room, coming face to face with my dad.

"Uh...hi dad."

"Morning. Your mother tells me you're going shopping?"

"Yeah...Mom, Janice and me are going."

"Have a nice time" he said, then went into his bedroom!

Mom played with my hair a little, then told me to walk over and get Janice, but just as I opened the door, the bell rang. It was Janice! I let her in, then...

"Well it's about time! I thought you fell off the edge of the earth!"

"Hi Janice."

"I've been wondering when I was going to see you again, I mean... I thought we were friends!"

"We are, it's just that..."

"I've known for a long time who you really were Susan! You thought that I wouldn't talk to you? Didn't you? You thought that I would make fun of you? Is that it?" I know that I went wide eyed right then, shocked when she said she knew who I was! "To tell the truth, I didn't know, not right away, but when you kept calling your mom "mom", I guess I figured it out. Now, are we going shopping or what?"

Mom didn't say much as we walked into the mall, letting Janice and I sort of roam around before she herded us towards a department store. On the way some of Janice's girlfriends saw her, waved, and started our way, and before I could say a word they were standing right there in front of us.

"Hi Janice!" They all said as one.

"What brings you here?" Marion wanted to know.

"Me and Susan are here with her mom, just looking I guess."

"Susan needs to get a few things" mom interjected, "especially now that school has started."

"Maybe we'll see you later?" asked Janet.

"Maybe" answered Janice, "we'll see."

I managed to get through that encounter without saying a word, and was very relieved when we headed for the store, but what mom said, about needing a few things? What was that all about? My confidence in my ability to become a girl had eroded some, but as we were walking around it began to return, I guess because Janice never once acted as if I were anything but her girlfriend. Still, I could not figure out mom's comment and wanted to ask her about it, but remained silent rather than maybe change her mind. The three of us were in the dress section when mom pulled me aside.

"Your father and I talked about this last night, and given the way you feel about this, we have decided to let you dress up once in a while, which means that you'll have to have a few more things. That's why we're here. Now, lets get you a few skirts and maybe a dress, okay?"

That's exactly what happened, and after that day, I was allowed to dress up once a month, always for the whole weekend. Janice and I became closer than ever, and I even met some of her friends. That lasted for about four months, then puberty hit. I shot up from about 5 foot to almost 5'5", gained weight, and started to fill out a little, which made already short skirts even shorter, and a lot tighter. Mom adjusted my clothing, and I kept dressing as a girl until the next summer when I began to dress as a girl all the time, which only made it clear that I no longer wanted to be a boy. When I told them mom seemed to understand, but dad went ballistic again.

"Not this again!"

"It's not again dad" I told him, "it's still. I told you both that I wanted to keep on being a girl but you're the one that told me no... remember? Well, I'm older now, and now I know what I want! I want to be Susan all of the time, not just once in a while!"

Dad hated it at first, but was forced to admit that as his daughter I was every bit as smart, polite, (maybe more if the truth be known), and pretty. He hated that most of all I think. The day school ended for the summer mom and I went back to that store, and I was once again fitted for the appliances that gave the look of a girl, only a full B cup, wider hips, and a more pronounced V in the front of my pants. It took a while for dad to adjust, but after a month as his daughter he gave up, telling me that I might as well finish school as a girl. He made the arrangements, and began living as a girl full time. Going from a big mouth little boy to womanhood only shows that if I can do it, anyone can do it!

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"I know who you are" he said, "and what's more, you still look just terrific as a woman, but you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Who am I then?"

"You're Tom of course" he said lightly, "but we'll forget that for tonight, because right now, you're Kathy!"

I guess I shouldn't have been shocked that he knew who I was, but he was acting as if it was the most normal thing in the world for me to be dressed as a woman, then kept insisting that I was beautiful! I thought about reminding him who and what I was one more time, but swallowed that idea when he asked me to dance again! Just being polite, I let him lead me to the dance floor once again.

"If I asked you" he said, "would you go out with me?"

"Knowing who I am, you're asking me out on a date? Are you nuts?"

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Admin Note: Originally published on BigCloset TopShelf on Thursday, 11/01/2012 - 04:09:07 PM.(-0400), Awkward was pulled out of the closet, and re-presented for our newer readers to enjoy. ~Sephrena

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By the time I was ready it was almost to late, but trying to hurry only made things worse. I could barely walk in the heels let alone run, and unused to wearing a dress, bra and all that, I felt just about as awkward as when I first learned how to ride a bike. I stopped and collected myself, taking the time to look in the mirror. I saw a woman about 30 with dark brown hair and green eyes wearing a blue dress called a sheath. It was just at my knees with a round neck and didn't have any sleeves. My legs didn't look to bad, and with all the padding I had on, I actually had a shape. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the purse and walked out of the house and to my car.

I would not have done this at all except for the fact that attendance at the annual costume party was virtually mandatory. Single, I had no idea what to wear and didn't even consider dressing as a woman, until my mom suggested it. As kindly as she could, she pointed out that I was only 5'8" tall, slender, and had worn my hair moderately long for almost as long as she could remember. Since I wasn't able to create something on my own, I had agreed, which is when mom helped me buy what I needed. Then she left me to get ready on my own, telling me that all she would do was help me with makeup and hair! It was a struggle, but I managed to get the clothes on without strangling myself, then, just before I was ready for the dress, mom came in and worked some magic on me. As she worked on my face, less and less of me was visible while more and more of some girl began to emerge. When she was done I didn't look like me at all! Then she started on my hair, creating what she called a pageboy, complete with bangs she created with a curling iron and a pair of scissors.

By the time I had the dress on and had looked in the mirror I was very aware of how I looked, and the very strange way those clothes made me feel. Adding lipstick and earrings, mom watched, then helped me do the clasp on the necklace before she spritzed me with some perfume! I tried walking in the heels before I went very far, and while it wasn't bad, I felt…uneasy, like I was going to fall over. Mom watched me until I had the hang of it, and I had lost that teetering sensation, then, handing me a purse, she hugged me and told me to have a nice time. We left my house together, she went home while I started for the banquet hall.

Most of the employees were younger, and our dress code at work was casual, so there was no telling what kind of costumes people would wear. I felt awkward, but not ashamed as I parked the car and walked into the hall. The crowd wasn't very big, yet I recognized a few people. One lady who's last name is Hershey, naturally came as a candy kiss, a few others wore simple rented costumes, and as I looked around, it seemed that I was the only guy dressed as a girl. Either that or they were really good at it.

"Hiya babe!" came a voice, then a I felt a firm hand on my ass!

"Get away from me" I said, even before I turned around, then I saw who it was. The President of the company!

"Opps! Sorry" he said, "I thought you were someone else! My abject apologies my lady!" Taking my hand…"Let me get you a drink to make up for that indiscretion."

I took a gin and tonic, then watched as he faded away into the crowd, leaving me at the bar. As I stood there I saw that I knew who most everyone was, only a few eluding recognition. Nobody seemed to know who I was though, which was just fine with me, because while not uncomfortable, and dressing as a woman seemed easy enough, I didn't plan on doing it again.

"Hi there" came a voice from behind me. Turning, "I saw you over here all alone and decided to join you. I hope you don't mind."

It was Bill, a guy I knew from the office! Obviously, he didn't know who I was. "No" I said, "I don't mind at all."

"My name is Bill" he said with a wide grin, "what's your name?"

Since he had not recognized me, I didn't think I wanted to tell him who I really was, just in case. I didn't want all of the ribbing I was sure would come if I told him, so…"Kathy" I said with a smile.

He bought me another drink, then, just after it was set in front of me, he grabbed my hand and asked me to dance! Without waiting for a reply, I soon found myself in his arms, swaying to the music! Bill was an excellent dancer, and even though I had never danced with a man before, I found it easy enough to follow him, and only stepped on his foot once. While we were dancing…

"I know who you are" he said, startling me.

"You do?"

"Sure" he said confidently, "you're Wonder Woman's alter ego Diana!"

Laughing, I said…"Not hardly! She has a body to die for!"

"For my money" he said with a grin, "it sure looks like you're not doing so badly in that department yourself!"

There was no retort that I could use without making things worse than they already were, so I kept silent, only smiling back when he said that. When the music stopped he escorted me back to my drink. Expecting him to leave, I was surprised when he asked me to join him at a table. When I didn't answer right away, he took me by the hand, gave a soft tug, and I relented, since sitting on a chair would be much better than sitting on a stool. Bill helped me with the chair, then sat across from me. Clearly he had more on his mind than a few drinks and a bad dinner, but how was I going to let him know that his attentions were directed at a male? If I told him, what then? Would he get angry? As I looked over at him I could see that his eyes were locked on me, and I had a growing desire to tell him who I really was, regardless of what might happen. If I didn't, he might try to go places even I didn't want to think about.

"Bill" I said, "I um, think that you should know something about me."

"What's to know?" He asked me, "You're beautiful, you're sitting with me, and you haven't run off yet!"

"Pay attention Bill" I told him a bit angrily, "I'm not who you think I am!"

"I know who you are" he said, "and what's more, you still look just terrific as a woman, but you already knew that, didn't you?"

"Who am I then?"

"You're Tom of course" he said lightly, "but we'll forget that for tonight, because right now, you're Kathy!"

I guess I shouldn't have been shocked that he knew who I was, but he was acting as if it was the most normal thing in the world for me to be dressed as a woman, then kept insisting that I was beautiful! I thought about reminding him who and what I was one more time, but swallowed that idea when he asked me to dance again! Just being polite, I let him lead me to the dance floor once again.

"If I asked you" he said, "would you go out with me?"

"Knowing who I am, you're asking me out on a date? Are you nuts?"

"As it happens" he said, "I have to attend a family reunion, and at every one these reunions since I was about 15, my Aunt Gladys has tried to set me up with someone. Of course, the girl and I never hit it off, so I thought that if I took my own girl this time she might lay off."

"That's just what I need Bill! It isn't my fondest wish to be dressed this way to start with, and you want me to be the center of everyone's attention? Being eyeballed by all of your female relatives? No thanks! And besides, what if they read me as a male dressed as a female? What then?"

"All the better" he said with a smile, "because then they'll think we're a Gay couple, with you trying your best to fit in by making us look like a normal couple! Maybe then they'll quit trying to set me up! Especially Gladys!"

"This would be the dumbest thing I ever did, even if I did agree that is!" I was adamant in thinking that it would be impossible for me to pass myself off as a female.

"Let's do this then" Bill said, "so far tonight, has anyone suggested in any way that you're not a female?"

"Well, no" I said, "But…"

"Come with me Kathy" he said as he took me by the hand. Within minutes we were standing with a group of senior executives! Seeing my career going up in flames…"Everyone, I would like you to meet Kathy. She's with me tonight."

Every one of those men and their wives, all in costume, greeted me with smiles from the men and hugs from the women! We chatted for a bit, then meandered back to our table where Bill just sat there all smug and grinning, as if to say that he was right. I was still shaking from the experience.

"This is just crazy Bill! I might be able to fool some people that are half drunk, but…"

"Just think about it…Kathy."

I had been thinking about it and how crazy it sounded, but then again, Bill had been right when he said that nobody knew who I was, which he confirmed when he introduced me to the executives. It wasn't as if I liked dressing as a woman, it's just that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and that's all. Bill put his hand on mine, once again making me feel what?…like a woman? I didn't know, and moved my hand. Looking at him, all I could see was his smile and those big blue eyes that were literally begging me to do it.

"Why don't you just ask Beverly? She's single, and I know she likes you" I asked him, pleading, almost a whine.

"I was going to" he said, "then I saw you! Believe me, you make Bev look like she's wearing a sack! I know you don't want to admit it, but in my opinion, you're a lot better looking as a woman than a man, and besides, you're having a good time. I can see it all over your face!" Leaning closer, "I'm also willing to bet that you're enjoying being a woman tonight, but you're afraid that someone might find out, which is why you keep saying no!"

Ignoring his pointed jab, "You still haven't answered my question Bill. Why ask me and not one of the many girls, or should I say, conquests that you already know?"

He sat back in his chair, and with a deep sigh…"Did you know that the executive board has approved two slots for people that live alternate lifestyles?"

"No! When did that happen?" I was shocked!

"Two days ago" Bill told me. "A little birdie told me, but listen, I invited Jack, our esteemed President to our reunion before I knew about the new slots, and I was thinking that if he sees you dressed as a woman, and with me, what's he going to think? That you're Transgendered and either one or both of us is Gay! That will put us both on the fast track to take those promotions! Don't you see? It's perfect! For both of us!"

I had worked hard to get promoted, but had been stymied because I didn't like to play the political game while others, like Bill, did. What Bill was suggesting was more than outlandish, it sounded dishonest to me, but with just one more promotion I would be in a better position to get at least considered for another, and Bill was in the same boat I was in. Just then, as I looked at him, I saw Jack, our President waving at me, then he started in our direction! Looking back at Bill…

"What are you two conspiring about?" Jack asked us. "You looked very cozy over here!"

"I just asked Kathy to be my date for the reunion" Bill said quickly.

"Then" Jack said, "I'll look forward to seeing you both there!"

I was furious with Bill for saying that, but Jack didn't seem to mind when Bill told him he had asked me to be his date, which made it difficult for me to say no, so…"When is the reunion?" I asked ruefully.

"Three weeks! You'll do it then?"

"Maybe, I'll think about it" I said.

"Then why not let me take you to dinner tomorrow? Think of it as practice."

Knowing that Jack expected to see me as a woman at Bill's family reunion must have warped my sensibilities, and yet, to this day, why I agreed I'll never know, but when I said finally said yes, Bill became quite animated, all smiles and so on. Later, when it was time to go, he walked me to my car, telling me again that I was beautiful, even as I closed the car door. By the time I got home I knew that I was out of my mind, but it was to late to call Bill and tell him, so I made a mental note to call him in the morning. That's what I told myself anyway, but when I got home and looked in the mirror and saw myself again, I realized that what everyone saw wasn't the real me, but a woman that kind of looked like me. I undressed and cleaned up, then went to bed wondering if I would call Bill, or go along with his ridiculous scheme to get us both promoted.

In the morning over coffee I pondered on what I should do. There was no way that I could even consider becoming a woman again without some help from my mother since I would need some more clothes, but what kind? How many? What style if any? I dreaded calling my mother, but I didn't have anyone else to ask! At age 23, still single, without a girlfriend or sister to ask, meant that I simply didn't have anyone else to turn to! Picking up the phone, I made the call. When I told mom what was going on and that maybe I might want to try it, all I heard was laughter from her end of the phone, then she said she would be over. As I hung up the phone I swallowed hard. What had I gotten myself into I asked myself. Mom arrived an hour later, chuckling as I explained what had happened the night before. I told her what Bill and Jack had said, all about the promotions, the whole thing, then wondered out loud if I was just crazy or merely out of my mind considering it. Telling me that I did indeed look pretty as a girl, she offered no solution, but quickly made a list of things that I would need in order to do what I had told her. I thought it was a fairly long list, but mom told me that if I kept dressing as a girl the list would quickly be child's play! Child's play was okay, but mom sounded as if she thought I had already made up my mind, which I had not, but as soon as we both had some coffee, mom told me to get my wallet, telling me we were going shopping!

Mom didn't tell me I was crazy or anything like that, and she didn't even ask me if I liked dressing as a girl, all she did was let me know that she liked the family the way it was and wanted it to stay that way. I told her that was my intention as well, that I was only doing this for a friend. That drew a sarcastic look from mom, so that's when I once again mentioned the two promotion slots and the criteria to get slotted into one of them.

"I take it" mom asked quietly "that you are going to try for the promotion by telling them that you like dressing as a woman and might even want to be a woman?"

"I'm not sure mom, but I'm thinking about it" I said, "it's a lot of money, a 20 percent raise, why?"

"Well" mom said, "have you considered the fact that once you show up dressed as a woman that you'll have to continue dressing as a woman?"

"No I won't!" I said, "I know for sure that some guys just dress up once in a while!"

"Yes, I know that," mom said looking right at me, "but to gain a promotion, don't you think they'll want to see you at work, dressed as a woman? And wouldn't that necessarily mean that you will have to be a woman all of the time? I mean, other wise, just any guy could say they are Transgendered, and who would know? How could they prove it? Dress up and take a few pictures? Somehow I don't think they could accept that, do you?"

I had not thought of that! In my mind I saw my visions of a promotion beginning to vaporize! Me? Dressed as a woman? At work? My heart sank into my shoes as I realized what I was going to have to do to get promoted! It wasn't as if I wasn't otherwise qualified, Bill, myself and Sam were all equally qualified, but a 20 percent raise was very healthy, and we had all worked hard and we all wanted to be promoted. If I decided to dress as a woman and Bill said he was gay, then no matter what Stan did, Bill and I would be shoe ins for the promotions. But, and it was a big but, would it be worth it? I mean, dressing as a woman? Just to get a promotion? If I did start back to work as a woman, I knew it would be exactly like mom told me. I would be forever cast in that role, even if some head hunter came and wanted to hire me away, or worse, I didn't get the promotion! Then of course there was the reunion that Bill had mentioned. He said and Jack confirmed that he would be there, which we both understood would be an ideal time for Bill and I to tell him about ourselves. But what would happen after that?

Knowing that my mom was a mind reader, I should not have been surprised when she told me as we, or rather she, made that list, and right out of the blue, said that if I were set on doing it, becoming a woman I mean, then I might as well do it right, and in her words that meant the "very best, the premier breast forms I could find, and some kind of padding for my hips that wouldn't be quite so uncomfortable", then she suggested that maybe I have something done with my hair, "like extensions" she said. The longer we sat there in my kitchen the more things mom added to the list and the more I began to wonder if I were crazy or not. I had dressed as a woman for a party not to start a new lifestyle, yet everyone including myself had been surprised at how I turned out looking. I was caught between remaining myself and taking my chances at getting promoted anyway, or risking everything by becoming, or at the very least, dressing as a woman. Since I had never leaned that way my natural aversion to dressing as a woman full time became the prominent force in the way I looked at the situation.

My mother had made it clear that the decision was mine to make, yet my natural reticence kept being pushed aside by the thought of all that money. A raise that high would allow me to fund my 401k a bit better, maybe move into a better apartment, and in general, upgrade my entire life, and that does not take into account the fact that promotions above the next rank were very lucrative. If I did decide to dress as a woman I would be risking everything on a mere chance that I would be promoted, with the down side would be that I would have to quit, or keep dressing as a woman, because changing back would be worse, that much was obvious. Mom just sat there as all of this raced through my mind, tumbling and mixing together until I finally looked over at her. No smile, no sign emanated from her to give me a clue, only those blue eyes staring at me.

I'm not sure how or why I decided to do it although I'm sure that the inherent greed we all have played a major part, along with the way I looked as a woman. When I looked up again, grasping mom's eyes in my own, I didn't say a word. I merely nodded my head yes. As we finished our coffee I thought about what I had agreed to. My mother has that milky white smooth skin so many women only dream of, with her wrinkles so faint as not to be seen, and wondered if, since I had decided to try it, if I would be able to be as much a lady as she was.

"Are you sure about this?" mom asked, "I'm sure you're aware that it means that you'll probably have to spend hours just trying to make sure that you look nice, what with shaving and all that. This isn't going to be as simple as it might sound honey, and being a woman means different things than being a man does you know. Things that you take for granted now will change, simple things, like walking to your car late at night alone. Women don't do that unless they don't have a choice, while all men do is start walking! How you talk, what you sound like, the way you walk and move will all have to change, and unless you make a concerted effort to be aware of those things, you'll look like what you are, a man in a dress! This is going to be hard on you, but if you're convinced that this is the right thing to do, then I guess I have no choice but to help you, either that or let you become the biggest fool anyone has seen in a very long time!"

When mom got up, like the dutiful son I had always been, I followed her out to the car without a word. The die had been cast the moment she stood up and I said nothing, simply letting my own mother lead the way to my becoming a woman, at least for one date and a family reunion I had no right to attend. My mother can be single minded when she wants to be, and on that morning, she made it clear that while she wanted me to be remain her son, she also understood the fix I was in and the reasons for my decision, which is why, she told me, that our first stop would be at a prosthetic shop. She told me that in order to be fitted for the right size clothes, we first had to find out what size I was going to be, because even though I already had one dress that fit, that might change! I had no idea what the hell she was talking about, but trusted her, and let her take me where she wanted me to go, all without a fuss. To say what happened in that shop was embarrassing would be an understatement, especially as mom sat there calmly telling the woman why I needed the very best breast forms available! Surprising me, the woman didn't even blink as she took measurements and began the tedious process of finding exactly what she said I needed, not even asking us for our opinion.

After several attempts, the woman grinned as she held the form to my chest, then when the woman was completely satisfied with the size, fit, and color, she looked first at me, then mom, a question on her face that I didn't get, but mom did. When I saw the almost imperceptible nod from my mother, the woman began smearing the glue on my chest, and I knew immediately what was about to happen. Right up to that moment I could have said no and left, returning to my apartment to become myself again, but I didn't, so first one, then the other was stuck on my chest, held in place for a moment, then, when the woman let go, I had what appeared to be my very own boobs! I was aghast when I realized how they looked on my chest, and to my great shame, I was felt very pleased with them! I had said nothing which resulted in my having boobs, but I had to admit, they looked as real as any girls, and felt exactly the same. Then the woman whipped out a tape and quickly made a few notations and asked me to stand up and remove my pants!

"We also have" the woman said to me, "a padded panty for our customers that lack roundness dear, but we also have a panty that does all that and at the same time makes you look like a normal woman, so if you'll remove your pants I'll get some measurements then check to see if we have what you need."

Well, by the time she was done I not only had a figure "to die for" as mom put it, and none of my clothes fit very well, there was no sign that I had ever been a male! Since my clothes didn't fit very well and rather than go shopping like that, mom took me home where I once again became a woman, wearing the same stuff I had worn before. Then we went shopping. According to mom the glue used to hold the breast forms on my chest would last until I used the solvent to release them, but since I was about to try being a woman, there was no reason to hurry, and started handing me things like bras once we were in the lingerie section of the store. Panties and slips, a robe and a nightgown, then a few skirts with blouses, shorts and tops, a suit, shoes and so on until I thought my credit card was going to melt. By the time we got home my mind was so messed up that I wasn't sure that what I was doing was worth all of the aggravation, or cost!

"Since" mom said with a grin, "you have those things stuck on your chest, I suggest that you either take a week off, or plan on going to work as a woman on Monday; they come off, but she did such a nice job of putting them on it would be a shame not to leave them, especially since you have date tonight and a reunion in a few weeks!"

As mom left the house I felt that sinking sensation, you know, the one that lets you know that you may have bitten off more than you can chew? Sitting there pondering what I had gotten myself into, I realized that it was more than plain greed. Beside more money, there was a higher position and more stature. Standing in front of the mirror to once again look at the girl we had created it settled on me that I had taken a step almost so drastic that I couldn't believe that I had done it to myself. I could remove the breast forms, shower and become myself again, but then I would have spent all that money for nothing while at the same time letting down Bill and possibly jeopardize my future. One would think that a college graduate might be smarter than that, but no. I had let the vision of my future cloud my thinking, which left me staring at myself as a woman. Feeling my breasts with my hands I was once again shocked to find that not only did they look real, they felt just like the real thing. Like my breasts, my hips were softly rounded with my bottom full, like any woman my age, and between my legs, a tuft of hair that barely concealed the thin slit of a woman. I stood there for a while as I tried to decide what to do, knowing full well that since I wasn't about to waste all that money I just spent, no matter what, I was about to appear as a woman at work the next day. My future had been decided, all because I either lacked the will to say no, or I liked being a woman, I wasn't so sure at that point.

I went in the bedroom wearing only the padded panty and the breast forms. With the extra padding on my hips it looked as if I had a smaller waist, and with the way my manhood was hidden, I not only looked like a woman, I would also have to sit to use the bath. Only my shorter hair ruined the look, but other than that, I could get naked in a room full of women, and I doubted that any of them would even look at me twice! I got dressed again, deciding on a skirt and blouse, then as I put the wig back on I knew that there was only one way not to look like a complete dork, and that was to finish what mom and I had started, so I grabbed my purse and left to find a salon. My dad always said that "if there isn't any choice, do your best". Well, I had reached the point that what he said finally made sense. I had no idea what would be involved, but once I had crossed the span between my natural inability to see myself as a woman and the reality I plainly saw in the mirror, I had no choice but to put my whole heart into becoming the best woman I could be, regardless of what it took.

Once I reached that conclusion it was as if a fog lifted and I could see my way clear to take the next and maybe the most drastic step yet. I had no idea what extensions were, how they were attached or even if they came out, only the fact that I needed to do something with my hair. Mom mentioned extensions, so that's where my mind naturally went, but since I simply could not envision myself with long hair, I decided to tell the stylist what I needed then let her do whatever she had to do to. I was fine until I pulled up in front of the salon, even when I got out of the car. I froze when my hand hit the door pull, but a woman leaving pushed against the door, and all of a sudden I was inside the building. Assaulted by the aromas in the salon I was momentarily shocked, then I heard her.

"Hi! I'm Jenny! Do you have an appointment?"

"Well, umm, no, but…"

"That's okay honey, Marcie is free, her two o'clock didn't show up. Let me get her."

Marcie turned out to be not much older than I was, but she recognized the wig for what it was and taking my hand, she led me to her area then set up a screen around us. Without a word she removed the wig, exposing a clearly male haircut, but she didn't flinch, even a little.

"We have" she said lightly, "some work to do, don't we?" When I looked up without speaking…"Don't be afraid honey, you're not the only "special" customer I have. So tell me, what did you have in mind?"

Regaining my voice…"Mom mentioned extensions?"

"Your mother?" she sounded disbelieving. "Well yes, extensions would work I suppose, but they are very expensive and take a long time to put in. Can I make a suggestion?" Nodding my head yes…"Well" she said, "hair grows, on the average, about  ¾ of an inch a month, and since your hair is a bit longer than usual for most guys, let me try a few things. There are a lot of women out there that have hair shorter than yours, so I'm sure that I can fix you up! Then we'll let it grow out until you reach the length that you like. Is that okay?" Again I nodded my head yes. "Is this going to be an everyday thing? Or is it just for a weekend?"

"Everyday" I said.

"Great" she said, then I watched her in the mirror as she clipped and snipped here and there, put in some rollers and began to add solution. "This is a very mild solution that will help hold in the style until your hair grows out a bit more. While you're under the dryer, why not get your nails done? We have a special this week, and it'll save you almost half!"

By then I was well past the point of no return, and simply agreed to have my nails done, all while not having the slightest clue as to what that meant beyond color. I was under the dryer and unable to move when I found out. An even younger girl came over, rolling her small table with her, and began to wash and clean each nail before she even started. I was astounded how at how quickly she managed to make my nails not only longer, but thicker, smoother, and with the rounded tips and soft plum polish that I picked out, more feminine! By the time she was done I was ready for Marcie to finish. I wasn't ready for what I saw in the mirror however.

My hair, once a soft mouse brown, was streaked with thin tendrils of blond hair, the natural brown slightly darker. The rollers had given my hair body, and now lay on top of my head in gently curls and waves. Around the sides Marcie had brushed my hair down, making me look just as feminine as any woman you would see on any street. I was lost in my awe when she tilted the chair back, brushed aside my new bangs, and applied some sort of goo. After a very short wait, she yanked on the strip of cloth, causing me to cry out in pain but making her smile. She did it one more time before she spun me around to look at the new me. Any protesting I might have done was by then a mute point, since there wasn't one thing about me that said I was a male! Paying the bill, I cringed at how much it was, but thanked Marcie, and let her schedule me for my next appointment, a whole month away!

By the time I got home I was thoroughly confused at my reaction to the way I looked. I had never been attracted to the idea of wearing women's clothes, yet when I looked in the mirror I could not deny how I looked, nor the way that made me feel. Every smell, each sensation, when I walked, I felt my boobs bouncing, or my nylons rubbing together, the sight of long sexy nails, or my hair and neatly arched eyebrows, all combined to make me feel as if I were…pretty. Even thinking that word felt strange, and stranger yet, it was true, and what's more, I liked it! With an overwhelming sense of femininity washing over me, I glanced at the clock then went in my bedroom and took out the one dress that mom told me all women should have. She called it an LBD, or, "little black dress". I quickly undressed and slipped it on, smoothed it out, then stepped into my black heels, added a gold choker necklace from my meager supply of jewelry, dashed on some of the new perfume, and headed for the front room. I had plenty of time before Bill would be there, so I decided to show mom what the finished product looked like, and grabbed my purse then headed out.

Since mom was the one that helped me buy all of the clothes, I drove straight to her house. Ignoring the car in the driveway, I went to the door and opened it just like I always did, and stepped inside. Hearing voices, I followed the sound and ended up in the doorway to the kitchen, my mom staring at me, her mouth wide open. Across from her was my brother! We all stared at each other for a moment, then Jeff popped out of his chair as if someone poked him in the ass with a sharp stick.

"Damn!" he said as he motioned at a chair. As I sat down…"Mom told me that you had tried a stint as a woman, and said that you looked quite pretty." Grinning as he sat down, "I figured that you would look like a guy in a dress, but…"

"Kathy is" mom said, "just as pretty as I told you she was, isn't she?"

My brother just sat there staring at me, but I saw mom casually take her finger and run it across her eyebrows, a clear sign that she recognized what I had done. Jeff, always a ladies man, had let his eyes drift South to the cresting tops of my breasts that gave no sign that they were not my own, and I know that confused him, as did everything about how I looked. I also knew that he was having a hard time putting his finger on it, things like nicely styled hair and shiny well done nails, and arching eyebrows were things that he took as something normal for a girl to have. While he knew that I was his brother, just by sitting there looking like his sister, without the slightest hint that I was really his brother really shook him up. He muttered the word "damn" a few more times before mom told him to stop.

"Well" mom said, "it looks like you have decided!"

"When mom told me, I knew that you would look spectacular" Jeff said with a grin, "you never did do anything halfway! It was always all or none, and in this case, I guess I was right!" Pausing…"Tell me, how do I treat a sister? I mean…"

"You treat her with respect" mom said, "just like you would any woman!"

"Darn" Jeff said with a grin, "I was hoping I could dip her pigtails in an ink bottle!"

Jeff is a year older than I am, tall, muscular and has never been without female company, ever, but he has been dating Jill for over a year now, and we're all sure that she'll manage to get him to settle down some day soon. Mom suggested that we all go out to dinner, then remembered my date with Bill.

"Why don't you call him and have him meet us there Kathy?"

I called Bill, told him what was going on, then asked him to meet us. He said he would, and Jeff brought the sedan around, then drove mom and I to the restaurant, letting us out at the door before he parked the car. We made it almost through the maze to our table when who shows up but his girlfriend Jill!

"Hello Jeffrey." Her tone was decidedly icy. "And who is this?" she asked, slightly changing her tune to be more musical when she looked at me.

"Jill, This is my sister Kathy. Kathy, this is Jill." It was obvious that Jeff was trying not to swallow his tongue.

"Yeah," she said, back to her icy tone, "like I'm going to believe that! You don't have a sister! Only Tom, and he's…" Jill looked directly at me, then I saw her eyes go very wide. She isn't the brightest bulb in the package, but given time, she usually gets there. "Damn!" she said, "You're…"

"My name is Kathy" I said with a smile.

"Jeff's sister and my daughter" mom added.

Jill finally accepted that I wasn't some girl trying to steal Jeff away from her, and became very animated, smiling and joking, almost as if she forgot who I really was, but she kept sneaking looks at me none the less. Bill arrived shortly after that, and by the look on his face, I had successfully made the switch from male to female. He sat next to me during dinner, then later just before we left, mom suggested that she could drive herself home, so Jeff and Jill took her car and left, while Bill graciously offered to take me home. Once mom left, Jeff and Jill went their way while Bill led me to his car. Since it was still early, when Bill drove me to my car, then followed me to my house. On the way home I decided that it was his turn to be shocked, which he was, shortly after we were in my apartment. I went in my bedroom, slipped off the dress, and put on the new peignoir and robe set before I returned to the front room. With his eyes locked on my cleavage, I swept past him, going into the kitchen, leaving him standing there with the his mouth draped open. By the time he got his mouth closed I had sat on the couch, my knees firmly together, my hands in my lap. Bill enjoyed a reputation with the ladies that I didn't want to find out about first hand, I only wanted him to know how far I had gone.

"Damn!" he said. "Stand up! Let me see!" I stood up and let him look at me, then…"want a drink? I think I need one!"

"I'll pass," I said, "but thank you."

He swallowed his drink in one gulp, then came to stand very close to me. When he took my hands in his I didn't think anything of it, but when his right arm slipped around my waist and pulled me closer…

"Bill, what are you doing!?"

"Well" he said, "since we're supposed to be lovers, don't you think that we should at least kiss? I mean, it does make sense doesn't it?"

"No" I said quickly, "it does not mean that! And who said that we're supposed to be lovers? You?" I pushed away from him as I felt my temper rising. "Besides, what if I decide not to do this? I mean, think about it. You have a reputation with the ladies, so how are you going to convince anyone that you're Gay all of a sudden? And what about me?!"

"Yeah" Bill said, "lets talk about you. "Let me see, eyebrows that have obviously been waxed, long shiny nails, hair that's a different color and very nicely styled by the way, and that's all before I mention those" he said as he pointed at my boobs, "plus you now have hips, a very fine ass, and your makeup is flawless! Shall I go on?"

"Okay, okay," I said petulantly, "I'm going to work as a woman, but that doesn't mean that we're….that I would…no way!"

Before I could say another word I felt his lips on mine, pressing hard as he pulled me closer, his hand moving down until he had a firm grasp on my buns. Unable to get away I felt his tongue as he probed against my lips, and with an involuntary gasp, opened my mouth. With my eyes closed I could almost imagine I was kissing a girl, until I felt his raspy beard against my smooth face. He held me tightly as his relentless exploration of my molars began to make me drift away from my long held ideas about men kissing men. Pausing only for a breath, Bill did not release me, but once again pressed his lips to mine. It was like I was another person as his hands, both on my butt, held me close, but without thinking, I had my arms around his neck in an embrace only a woman could provide. Then he moved, and I could feel him, his hardness against my leg, the pulsing evidence of his passion evident. My heart was pounding, and I felt beads of sweat running down my back, but Bill still held me tight.

"I don't think" he said, "that you realize just how sexy you are, or maybe you do, considering that next to nothing you have on!"

"That was just to show you that I have made the commitment to becoming a woman, but only to get that promotion! Not to let you make me just another notch on your bedpost!"

"But why not? Bill asked with a smirk, "I can show you how much fun it is to be a woman!"

"Maybe, but not now, and maybe even never! I think that you better go now. I'll see you at work tomorrow."

He didn't like it, but he left, promising to see me first thing in the morning. I slept badly that night, knowing that the moment I set foot in the office my future would be changed forever, then I thought about the way Bill had reacted around me, the way he tasted and the roughness of his face. There was no way I could simply quit, not then. I had already done more than I thought I would, and by letting Bill kiss me, in my mind, I had no way out.

The next morning I was up early, carefully putting on my makeup. My hair seemed to pop right back into place, and as I reached for a bra I knew that I would have to be just as professional looking as a woman could be, so I took the suit out of the closet and put it on the bed. Stepping into clean panties I pulled on the pantyhose then slipped on the white blouse. The skirt was a bright red cut straight and only just above my knees; the jacket was navy, and gave me a very business like look. Pale lipstick, some perfume, earrings and a thin bracelet before I stepped into the red heels, and I was ready. Taking a deep breath, I opened the front door and stepped into the very uncertain future that lay ahead of me.

I opened the car door and stepped out, facing the office, the shiny steel framed doors beckoning. Just as I turned to walk in, a hand took me by the elbow.

"Good morning Kathy! I didn't expect to see you again! You look quite lovely this morning."

It was Jack! "Thank you" I said, "I decided to…I mean…"

"Don't worry so much Kathy! I'm sure that your work won't suffer because you decided to wear something different. Just relax and do your job and everything will be just fine." As we walked together…"I'll get a new sign made for your office. Same last name?" Nodding my head yes, "That's fine. See you later" he said.

Heads turned when I walked in, but nobody said anything. When I had my coffee and was safely ensconced in my office, I set about working. That lasted for maybe half an hour. Beverly came in and shut the door behind her.

"You look…different this morning Tom…well, that can't be right! Just what do we call you?"

"Kathleen, Kathy for short" I said while trying to stay calm.

"Bill" she said sourly, "told me that you were just cute as hell, and I'm beginning to think that he might have a crush on you!" Beverly watched me closely, so I just sat there. "He said that you two had dinner together last night, and that you had a nice time."

"Well" I told her, "it was good for me anyway, he paid for my dinner...why?"

"You might not know it, which is why I've decided to tell you myself, so there isn't any misunderstanding. Bill and I, well, we're a couple."

"I didn't know" I said, knowing it was a blatant lie. "I'll keep it in mind Beverly, but isn't it up to Bill to decide who he wants to be with?"

With that she stood up, reminded me once again that she and Bill were a couple, then left, shutting the door a little hard on her way out. As little as I knew about the way women interacted with each other, it was clearly obvious that she and I were going to have some problems. Bill dated her for a few times but dropped her because of her incessant push to get married. Now she was telling me that they were together again. With a sigh I went back to work. About an hour later I faced my first challenge. I had to use the restroom. Since there was no way I was going into the men's, I went in the ladies and quickly did my business. I was at the sink washing up when Bev came in. She didn't say anything, but by the look on her face, she didn't like me in there. For an entire week I went to work with only those and a few other minor incidents marring the week, but each day after work I stopped at a department store and began to widen my wardrobe, slowly and with deliberate care, considering that I wanted to be promoted. One morning as I started towards my office I was stopped when Jennifer, Jack's secretary told me that he wanted to see me, so we walked down the hall together.

"Shut the door Kathy." Jack motioned to a chair, so I sat, waiting. "Tell me, is this how you intend to come to work from now on? As a woman I mean? It's been a whole week and a few days now, and I have to say, you always look very nicely dressed."

"Is there a problem? I asked, "Because if there isn't, then yes, I thought I would, why do you ask?"

"Did you know" he asked me, "that we were directed by the government to open our hiring and promotion lists to minorities?" I nodded my head yes. "In effect" he said, "the word minority means anybody that isn't male or white, but that leaves me with a very wide criteria to choose from. Since you are telling me that this is how you intend to dress from now on, which makes you a minority by the way, I am pleased to tell you that you will be promoted to V.P. effective next Monday. That said, you will have to legally change you name in order to facilitate my obligations to the guidelines. Can you do that?"

"Of course" I said quickly.

"I will announce your promotion on Friday at the general staff meeting. Until then please keep this to yourself."

"I will sir!" I said to him, a grin on my face.

"Fine! Your new office will be the third one down the hall here, but as I said, you won't be able to move into it until Monday." As I turned to leave…"When Bill told me that he was taking you to his family reunion I wasn't quite as shocked as you might think Kathy, I saw the way you two were acting at that party. I'm looking forward to talking to you then, in a less formal atmosphere."

Bill stopped by to say hello, and while I was bursting to ask him if he got promoted as well, I also couldn't tell him I had, and it wasn't the place to mention what Beverly had said, so it was a very quick in and out meeting. I did ask him to call me later that night however. When he did call, I told him what Bev had said, which clearly made him angry, but I told him not to say anything to her. "Just don't call her" I told him. That week went by quickly and with each passing day everyone got used to seeing me as a woman, most simply shrugging their shoulders but not saying anything. My lawyer had my name changed by Thursday, so I was legally Kathleen Elaine, age 23. I had told mom what was required, and while she didn't like it, she understood, and gave me her blessing, even suggesting my middle name. On Friday morning I wore a gray skirt with a white mock turtleneck top and a pink jacket with gray heels, my hair and makeup almost perfect.

When Jack made the announcement of my promotion, he did not give any reason and didn't mention any guidelines about minorities, and as I stood up there was modest applause. When the next promotion was made, it was not, as we figured, Bill. Instead, Stan took the second slot. A crestfallen Bill stood against the wall a smile on his face, but his body language said it all. Since there was nothing I could do, I remained where I was until the meeting was over. Jack asked both Stan and I to join him in his office, so I left Bill standing there.

"The reasons for your promotions are not important, but just so there isn't any bickering, Kathy will have the office next to mine and you'll have the next one down Stan. Kathy has a bit more seniority, so I am giving her the nod and making her a Senior V.P., which is of course another jump for her. I am going to let her run the day to day operations while you will control all of the outside operations. You will of course, report to her."

"I have" I said, "A few questions. Such as, who will take the jobs we are vacating, and who will take over as the C.F.O., which was Stan's job?"

"Those decisions are now yours Kathy. You are now in charge of all promotions and hiring, and sadly, firings as well. Why? Do you have someone in mind?"

"Well…" I said, "Everyone knows that Bill was on the promotion list, so why not move him up to C.F.O.? I'll review everyone's files and make the other promotions required. That will move him up another level, give him a few more bucks, and also, more authority."

Jack looked like he had swallowed a live frog, so I knew something was wrong. "Bill has had a complaint drawn against him Kathy, and I simply cannot let him be promoted in the face of the complaint, I'm sorry."

"Can you tell us the nature of the complaint?" Stan asked.

"Of course. Beverly has filed a sexual harassment case against him."

"That's a crock" I said, "Beverly was in my office just last week telling me that she and Bill were a couple and warning me to stay away! I told Bill, and he said that he would talk to her. I'm guessing he did, and this is her answer!"

"Since you're so intimate with all of the facts" Jack said, "then you settle it. If Bill comes out okay, then yes, give him the C.F.O. job." Turning his head, "Stan, I want you in the room any time this subject is discussed. It will eliminate any confusion later."

Stan and I immediately went to my office where I called Beverly in. Stan shut the door and stood in front of it.

"Beverly, I am now the Senior V.P., and I have complete authority for the entire staff. You have filed a complaint against Bill, but somehow, we all know it's a bogus claim. Would you care to explain it to us?" I thought she was going to choke for a moment, but she didn't say a word. "let me tell you how I see it Beverly" I told her, "you and Bill went out a few times, but it didn't work out. You couldn't accept that, but as long as he wasn't seeing anyone, you thought you were okay, right up to the moment you saw Bill and I together. Then you came in here and virtually threatened me! When Bill called you on it, you filed the complaint!" Looking right at her…"Tell me hon, how am I doing?"

"You bitch!" she almost screamed, "You took Bill away from me!" Stan started to laugh, which made Beverly even madder. "Why are you laughing?" she demanded.

"Have you forgotten? Kathy is in transition! She isn't even a complete woman yet! How could she possibly compete with you?"

I thought Beverly was going to explode, but I pushed her harder. "Now that we have all of the facts, would you like to withdraw your complaint? Or shall I?"

She was on the verge of bursting into tears, but she said it. "Okay! Withdraw it! And I quit!"

"Your resignation is accepted!" I said, "Stan, will you see that she removes all of her personal things and leaves the building? Say, within 30 minutes?"

"Sure thing" he said to me, then turning to Beverly…"Shall we go? Quicker is better I think, don't you?"

Stan escorted her out then I called in Bill and gave him the good news, telling him which office to take over. He left and I started in on the personnel files. Our company had just landed a gigantic contract with the government, which is why Jack was able to promote so many people at one time, as well as add new staff. Stan already had a secretary, so she moved with him, I selected Nancy and let Bill chose Janet. It was about two weeks before everyone had been slotted into the new jobs or reassigned, which took us up to the weekend of the reunion party. The weather promised to be warm and sunny, and I made mental notes on what I was going to wear. Bill said that he would be over to get me at nine in the morning, then he left for home at the end of the day.

I had a choice of course, khaki shorts and a thin top, or maybe a lightweight summer dress. I decided on wearing the dress to start out with, but took a swimsuit and my shorts plus a top in a small bag. Covering any eventuality had become a habit, especially after that time I snagged my hose on my desk, then of course, a pair of new shoes that almost tore my feet off they were so tight. After that I kept new pantyhose and sneakers in my desk, just in case! It had been almost a month since that first time I had dressed as a woman, and my entire life had changed. Things that I never considered before became important, like how I looked. Before this all started, I took everything for granted, but as a woman, I had to maintain a certain level of dress, then of course, crude jokes that the guys used to tell me faded away as they began to think of me as a woman. The way they treated me, spoke to me, and acted around me all changed as I lost slowly lost that connection to the male world.

That morning as I stood there in the shower I realized just how much I liked being a woman. For all of the losses, I had gained much more. I gained an insight to myself, found that I related better to people as a woman, "something softer about me" my secretary told me, and my awareness of my body and all of the new parts also played a major part. I had become used to having breasts and no manhood, rounded hips and a cushier bottom, but also longer hair and thinner eyebrows that went along with my nails. In effect, I had become a woman, and to my great surprise, I didn't mind it one bit. Only one thing remained for me to explore, but I simply could not bring myself to believe that I would do for a man what all women do. It was the one last bastion of my manly pride that remained, and as silly as it sounds, as much as I was curious, I wasn't eager to have a man in my bedroom just then, if ever.

As I began to get dressed I thought about what Bill was doing. He was using me as a foil to keep one of his Aunts from trying to get him hooked up with some girl, but since he had missed out on being promoted, there wasn't any reason for him to pretend that he and I were together, ostensibly a couple. He could be with anyone. I picked out a bra, the light cotton one with underwires and pair of plain white cotton panties. No pantyhose since it was a picnic, then pulled the dress on and zipped it up. It was just loose enough to be comfortable yet tight enough to reveal my figure. Then, at the last minute, I changed my mind, took the dress off and pulled on the shorts and top, slipped on my ankle socks and gym shoes, then put on my makeup. I had become adept at keeping my skin smooth and soft, and I had learned how to do various kinds of makeup well enough that I could get by on the barest minimum if I had to. On that day I wore pale eye shadow, liner and lipstick. Button earrings with a gold bracelet, some perfume, and I was ready.

Bill was on time, and we drove to the park, about half an hour away. Bill didn't say much on the way over, except to tell me thanks for being there. When we reached the picnic, we were greeted by the very woman that kept trying to set him up, but once she set her eyes on me her face lost it's smile. While everyone was polite and treated me as family, Bill kept his distance which baffled me until Jack took me by the arm and we walked down by the lake.

"Bill" Jack said softly, "is having a very hard time with his situation Kathy. I had to make a choice, and Stan had been the C.F.O. for almost two years, so he was due, but now Bill has to report to you, and that's at the same time he is attracted to you. That puts him in a tough spot, and I'm sure that you can see that. He'll never be sure that any attempt on his part to romance you won't be misconstrued by you, or for that matter, anyone else. If you promote him, how could he be sure it was on his own merit? On the other hand, how can either of you be sure that by his attentions towards you, you won't give him an assessment that is fair? It's impossible Kathy, and that's why he is being less…attentive than he might be."

Jack told me only what I had already felt, which only made my dilemma worse. I started dressing as a woman to get promoted, then later found out that I didn't mind it at all, and frankly, didn't look as bad as I had first thought I would. Mom had helped me a great deal, my brother teased me at first, but soon quit after we had been together a few times. My staff all treated me as a woman, so both at work and at home I was never without the constant knowledge that I had, for all intents, become a woman. I watched as Jack walked away, and as I looked out on the lake, I realized that I had a very serious choice to make. I could stay as I was, merely a man with silicone padding and a nice haircut, or take the next step and move on with my life as a woman. Lost in thought I didn't hear him when he walked up.

"Hi" the voice said lightly.

Turning I saw Kevin, a distant cousin of Bills. "Hello" I said, "you're Kevin, right?"

"Are you and Bill…you guys together?"

"Not really" I said, "we're just friends."

"Good!" Kevin said as he moved closer. "Then maybe you'll let me take you to dinner?"

Kevin stood there naked to the waist, his shoulders broad and very muscular, his chest covered in dark curly hair, his shorts just tight enough, but his smile radiated when he looked at me. Kevin was very handsome, about my age, and was in law school. I didn't have any doubt that his social calendar was always full.

"Friday night?" he said, turning on his smile again.

With a nod of my head I agreed, then we walked back to the rest of the party where I gave him my card, writing my home address on the back. As he drifted away I saw Bill staring at me, his face screwed into what seemed to be a rueful resignation of what we both knew was happening. Bill took me home later that afternoon, dropping me off at my door without so much as a peck on the cheek. I went inside and shut the door, locking it as I headed for my bedroom. My mind was tossing all of my feelings about like a small ball, so I went in the shower and just stood there, letting the hot water beat on me as I tried to wash away my regret at what had happened between Bill and I.

I made a small dinner and for the first time in a very long time I sat on the couch and sulked. Bill was my friend, and while he had been the one to start me on this path, I had also hoped that he would be there to help me in the hard times, when I was filled with doubt. That night when I went to bed I wore my laciest, sheerest nightgown I owned.

I felt the zipper of my dress going down, then his hand as he fiddled with the clasp on my bra, then the freedom as my bra loosened and my breasts fell a little. His hand was hot on my bare back as he stroked me until I was unable to do anything but purr. I was lost. I was another person, a woman that this man wanted, a sex object of his intense desires, and I liked it! I broke away, ready to dress and leave, but he took one step, and with a hand on each of my shoulders, slowly pulled the dress away from my shoulders, letting it drop to the floor, and leaving me standing there in my panties, heels, and pantyhose. He took the bra which hung from an elbow and cast it aside, then began to unbutton his shirt. By then I was so far gone that I slapped his hands away and began to undress him myself. Yanking his shirt away I saw his hairy muscular chest and rippling muscles, but quickly unbuckled his pants and pulled them down, letting him step out of them. Taking me by the hand we went in his bedroom where I fell on the bed in as sexy a pose as I could, watching as he slipped off his boxers, leaving him totally naked, his hardness no longer a mere lump on my leg but a throbbing weapon that we both knew I was about to use…somehow.

I felt his weight on the bed and lay back, not knowing what to expect, but sure that I was about to cross a line that I never imagined I would, yet as he lay next to me, his hands pulled me closer even as his lips found virtually every point on my body that would turn me on, which he most certainly did. Then my hand found him, circling his hardness, which felt huge, and began to stroke him. He was patient, driving me almost crazy when his tongue found the soft underside of my throat, then all at once he was on top of me, sitting up as he straddled me, then using a mere finger, he traced a line from my nose to my toes, then moved off of me, moving up to my face. Still on his knees, my face was virtually in his groin, his weapon just millimeters from my lips when I felt his hand on my head, then a gentle tug, and I felt him entering me. As much as I always thought it was gross for someone to take a man that way, it actually wasn't bad at all. Using my tongue I caressed it, licked it, then took him. With my hands by my side, all I could do was let him set the tempo, then I moved a bit and was able to use my hand to hold his butt.

Being in bed with a man had never been on my agenda, but since it was a fact, I gave in to the total sensation of having someone treat me that way. Pushing him on his back, he lay there while I got on all fours and once again attacked his manhood, using everything I could think of to drive him crazy, but once my lips encircled him, he grabbed my head and pushed down just as he erupted in pulses that I could feel hitting the back of my throat. By that point I quit being anything but a woman in rapture, and kept a firm lip lock on him until he finally quit. He lay there grinning, but I was on fire, unable to extinguish a need that he had led me to discover, so I lay next to him with my nails running through the hair on his chest, tickling his groin, and softly kissing his nipples. Slowly he began to rise, and my lips found him again, making him hard once more.

When I got on all fours again he put his hand in my groin, then I felt his finger inside, pushing against me, tickling my most sensitive spot until I was a quivering mass of excited nerves, then he quickly got up behind me, and with careful yet masterful manipulation penetrated me. I could feel every inch of him as he stroked in and out, faster and faster until he grabbed my hips hard and released. I had no idea that a man could feel so good, but I was pleased to see that he had collapsed on the bed, spread eagled and panting. I flopped on the bed laying to him, wondering what ever could come after what I had just done.

I awoke with a start, sweat running from my body in rivers, drenching the bed. Getting up I looked around and realized that I had experienced the most intense dream of my entire life. Standing there I felt remorse filling me, and ran in the bath, slamming the door shut. Using the bath I felt as if it had really happened, yet I was alone in the darkness, and as I sat there I wondered why the only face I remembered was Kevin's. I cleaned up a bit before I went back in the room to change into a different nightgown and ripped the sheets from the bed. I had a long night that was etched into my memory, and nothing I could do would shake it. My emotional roller coaster had reached a peak with that dream, the single most revealing thing was when I took him into my mouth and didn't hesitate to be the woman he wanted me to be, and afterwards, when the excitement wore off, I was still sexy and desirable. In my dream I had let a man use me like he would any woman, and more, I loved it. When my alarm went off I grabbed my clothes and began to get dressed. There was no shower that I could take that would wash away the way I felt, but I wasn't sure that I wanted to wash it away.

Around noon the next day Kevin walked in, resplendent in a charcoal gray suit. Tall, he exuded confidence and the way he walked sent that message to anyone that looked at him.

"Kathy!" Nancy said as she walked into my office, "There is a total hunk out here that wants to see you!"

Nancy isn't given to hyperbole, so I got up to see who was there, and saw Kevin standing there! I admitted him to the office, then, as we stood there, he took my hands in his.

"Kathy" he said as he moved closer, "there wasn't any way I could wait until Friday night! You're all I have on my mind, so I stopped by to ask you to lunch. Maybe we can figure this out together."

It was at that exact moment that I knew, and eagerly let him take me to lunch. Later, when I returned to work, I made several calls, the first to my own doctor. Kevin and I went out for lunch, then Friday and Saturday nights. I felt drawn to him in ways that I never expected, so that Sunday, I went to see mom. She would have to know the answer, and besides, I had to tell her that I was forever going to be a woman.

"Mom" I said, "I'm not Gay, but I…"

"That's right!" she told me, "you're NOT Gay! You have become a sexy desirable woman that this young man finds irresistible! You made the choice to live and work as a woman, and while I wasn't fond of the idea, I can see now that it was the right decision, yet now, just like any other woman would, you have met a man that makes you tingle all over, right?" I said nothing, only nodding my head yes. "Come with me for a moment honey." I followed mom into her bedroom, then…"I want you to undress, stand here, then tell me what you see." It sounded ludicrous, but I did what she asked, then she took me by the hand and stood next to me in front of the mirror. "Tell me" she asked, "tell me exactly what you see." What I saw was a naked woman with tears in her eyes. "Damn it Kathy! You're a woman now, and whether you like it or not, your dream just proved it! I don't know honey, maybe you always were a woman on the inside and just didn't know it!"

As I got dressed mom watched, then the two of us went to have some coffee. Jeff showed up for his usual Sunday visit, and after mom gave me the "look" I told him that I was going to go through the change and become a real woman. To my shock, he wasn't surprised one bit!

Kevin went back to law school while I started in the transition program. Within a few months I had some development, and within six months my beard was completely gone, which eliminated the need for me to always wear makeup. By then I had quit using the breast forms, Bill had resigned, Jack retired, and I was named as the CEO. Kevin had been sending me torrid, as in burning, e-mails every day, and I knew that the moment I saw him he and I would…in any case, I pushed hard to have the surgery, managing to become a woman just a month before Kevin came home, just in time for me to prove that I was all the woman he would ever need, and I did. That dream? Well, it all came true and better, there was much more. Kevin and I took an entire week off, traveling to the coast, enjoying each other every minute.

I have money, a man, and I'm a woman. What more could I want?

Baby Baby Baby
By

Janet L. Stickney

Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself; but do not relinquish it simply because someone else is not sure of you……. Stewart E. White

"I think you should try it, just to see how hard it is!"

"Nope" I said firmly. "Being pregnant is for women!"

"Well, yes, that's true, but you have no idea how hard it is around here! You never help!"

"I'll help" I stated in typical male fashion.

"Yes, I know you will, because if you don't, your little secret will get out, and we don't want that do we?"

She knew damned well that my dressing up was between us, and for her to use it as a threat was a low blow, even for her, but then, she sent shivers down my spine.

"Since you like to dress up so much, I was thinking that maybe it was time for you to experience what it's really like to be a woman! I think maybe you should become a woman for a while, then get pregnant, and I mean going from inception to delivery!"

"But that's impossible!"

"Well, no, it isn't. I've done some checking, and it can be done, and even better, you would not be the first guy to do it! What I was thinking, since you're about to lose your job when the plant closes, that you assume the role of a typical wife. You do all of the things that I normally do, dress the way I do of course, then you'll "get pregnant". They have devices, things that allow men to look and feel pregnant, and all we have to do is add water, right up until you're ready to deliver! Then we let out the water, and you'll be back to normal!"

"But… that would mean that I would have to be a woman full time!"

"Most pregnant women are silly! Now, go fill the tub while I get the bubblebath. I want you to get as hairless as it's possible for you to get."

"Now?"

"I heard that you'll get your letter of dismissal tomorrow; Marion told me that Harvey got his yesterday. You'll get paid for the next two months, but after that you'll be unemployed, so there's no reason to report to your office, and no reason for you to say no! So… yes, I mean now."

I was torn between complete and utter dismissal of her suggestion, and jumping in the tub as fast as I could. Being able to be a woman full time had been a long time dream of mine and she knew it, but being pregnant, such as that went, wasn't even on my radar! Never! I looked at her, saw no deception on her face and again wondered if it was even possible.

Janet is my sister. We share our living arrangements because we inherited the house together, and both being single, neither of us had any notion, or reason, to move. We had fallen into the traditional roles even though we were brother and sister; not because of any plan, it just worked out that way. Besides, living together in the house was cheap since we owned it. Janet got pregnant when she was 17 by some guy that ran off, leaving her to bear the child, a boy; she put him up for adoption, and he was gone the day after he was born. Now, at the of age 21, here I was, about to face the same dilemma! If I did what she wanted me to do that is. If I did do it, I would be, in effect, be an unwed mother!

"You know you're going to do it" Janet said quietly, "I mean, you've been playing dress up in my clothes for years! Since we were kids! This is your chance to finally see what it's like to be a woman, so why not take it?"

"But pregnant? What's with that?!"

"It's just like you said. Being pregnant is the ultimate experience for a woman, and since you say you want to know what it's like to be a woman, be treated like a woman, and have the same limitations a woman does, well, living as a woman, then becoming pregnant, will show you every one of those things. That's why I think this is not only the perfect time for you to try it, it's also a way for you to experience what being a woman is really all about!! Don't you?"

I went in my room, only to see clean towels and bubblebath on the bed. It wasn't that hard a decision for me to make; I mean, I had been dressing up since I was a kid, so with visions of my inner girl jumping out at me, then throwing my brains, along with every bit of common sense I had right out the window, I undressed and went in the bath. Two hours later I emerged as hairless as I could get, the hair remover and the razor having done a wonderful job of it, and after using the skin lotion, my skin felt smooth and soft. Janet had always known about my dressing up, and had even helped me a few times when we were teenagers; in fact, we had even gone out together a few times. But what she was suggesting was going to test me in ways that I could only imagine; well, I could imagine them, I just didn't think I would ever face them! Unfortunately, she knew exactly how to push my buttons, which is why I ended up standing there with a pair of panties in my hand.

I wasn't some clueless schmuck that couldn't figure out what was happening; I could just say no, and while she might pout a bit, that would be the end of it. However, between my savings and her wages, I knew that we could do it, and there might never be another, or better, chance for me to live full time as a woman ever again. I also knew that I was going to do it. I simply couldn't deny myself the chance to live a dream. But I was going to do it my way, not hers. I had secretly purchased one of those vagina panties some time back, but only wore it once, for about a week. It was a delicious secret I kept that week, yet, for me, if I was going to dress as a woman, there just couldn't be any middle ground; I always knew that if I was going to do it full time, then I was damned well going to do my very best to not only look like one, I was going to be the best woman I could be!

I have always adored women. The way they looked, acted, and their innate sense of what beauty was. All different, yet always feminine. In my view, by dressing as a woman I was not just admiring them, I was emulating them as a way to prove my adoration for them and everything they represented.

I pulled the panty out of the drawer along with the special lubricant, and after a small application of the lotion, I pulled it on. Making sure that my parts were snugly in place, I used, for the first time, the glue to adhere the panty to my waist as well as the tabs on the backside. My breast forms were not the best, but they would do until I changed them for something better, much better.

With my manhood no longer present, and wider hips and a bigger butt accenting my lower half, I slipped on the panties, then the bra, using my cheap forms to fill out the cups. After that came makeup, the pantyhose, dress and shoes. I used my wig because my hair wasn't quite long enough to satisfy me, and after adding earrings and lipstick, I left the room to find Janet. She had not seen me dressed for a long time, and since I had gotten a bit better at it, I wanted to surprise her. I walked into the kitchen and found her sitting at the table. As she looked up….

"Holy Cow! You look fantastic! I figured you would look good, but damn girl!"

"If I'm going to do this" I told her firmly, "and I'm still not sure that I am, I need to get some better breast forms, and I simply don't have a thing to wear!"

That brought a giggle. "I'll bet we wear about the same size, so we can share things like skirts and dresses, at least for a while, so all you'll need are shoes and lingerie."

"If I do this, but…"

"Oh I think you'll do it, it's something you've always wanted to do! Dress as a woman full time I mean. And I agree about getting better boobs, so why don't you do that this week?"

"Maybe I will!"

That was on Tuesday. I thought about my options for along time before I made my decision. If I went through with the insane idea that I could actually live as a woman, then become pregnant, I had to believe in my heart that I could actually do it. Because women sometimes wear things that reveal their breasts, or at least a portion of them anyway, I wanted to be able to do the same. There were lots of options, some quite inane, some quite expensive, but a few were in the middle, which usually meant affordable. I made a few calls before I decided what I was going to do. It was radical, but seemed to be the best option, especially if I were to be living as a woman for over a year. On Thursday morning, after spending an hour getting ready, I left the house dressed as a woman for the first time since I was 19. I was edgy but not scared; after all, even if someone did figure it out, what were they going to do at 40 miles an hour? Jump in? It took about an hour to get there. As I walked in, doubt crept up on me, and I wondered again if this were the best option. The smell of antiseptic filled the air, and a pleasant nurse greeted me. When I told her why I was there, she ushered me into the doctors office. He came in a few moments later, listening as I explicitly told him everything that Janet and I had talked about, what I planned on doing, the faux pregnancy she insisted on, and why, then asked him if there was a way that I could get away from using breast forms.

"Yes of course! There are many options! You can get the best in breast implants, but the best ones are very expensive, and the healing time can be well over a month. You can start on hormones, which, if you are serious about this, I would recommend anyway, but the results you're looking for would take at least a year, and would last a very long time. There is one other option, we have developed a new procedure where we simply enhance what you have. But, as in a normal breast implant operation, we will have to make a very small incision just under the nipple. We insert a small bag which we fill with saline solution. I know it sounds like a breast implant, but it's much less than that, and the recovery is two or three days, maybe a week, versus several weeks, or even a month, and we can continue to add to the saline as your skin stretches. The cost is comparable to that of a great set of custom made breast forms."

I asked him some other pertinent questions, deciding to do it, then scheduled the procedure after he assured me that with my build and the amount of natural breast that I already had, within a month, maybe a bit more, depending on how much my skin stretched, I could be a full B cup, possibly even more, depending on how much my skin stretched and how I looked in profile. I decided to take the hormones as well, because after living as a woman for over a year, there was some serious doubt that I could return to being a male. If the hormones worked on my system like they should, I would also lose body hair and round out with a more natural figure. After all, a year or more is a long time, and having a natural figure would be my only protection. An implant of any kind was a big step, but being pregnant was an even bigger event, one that would last a minimum of nine months, and since I couldn't just show up pregnant, I could safely add a few months, maybe even longer for that too! All of which meant that I was facing well over a year, but probably more as a woman! There was no way that I would even try that unless I had the self confidence needed, and having my own boobs, and later a natural figure, would certainly make it very hard for anyone to say that I wasn't a woman, which is why I decided to do it. The cost was just about the same as the very best breast forms I had researched, lasted longer, and would be my own. The doctor also suggested something else, which we also talked about, but I told him I would think about it and let him know.

He scheduled the appointment, then, with my permission, gave me a shot that secreted a long lasting pill that would deliver estrogen into my system at a regular rate. I know, it was way out there, implants and hormones, simply to feel "safe", but it was more than that. Since I had decided that I was going to do this, I wanted to enjoy being a total woman, not always scared of discovery, and if I was ever going to do it, then this was my best chance. On the way home I stopped and bought more panties, but no bras because I wasn't sure of the size I needed. For the next two days I was edgy and nervous, having told Janet only enough that she would drive me to the clinic and get me home again. I did not tell her what he was going to do. That was my secret, but the more I thought about what I was about to do, the more I knew it was the right thing to do; being able to wear anything a natural woman could wear would give me more than enough confidence to not only live as a woman, but also, eventually, get "pregnant".

It took only a few hours, but when I left the clinic I had smallish breasts, maybe a big A cup. I wasn't sore, but I knew it was coming, and counted on the pills he gave me to get me through the pain. Janet found out what was going on the minute we walked into the clinic and the doctor blurted it out. Janet, thoroughly shocked, could only watch as I disappeared behind the doors. A few hours later I emerged with boobs. After we got home, she demanded to see, but I was covered with bandages, so she, like me, had to wait for another few days before either of us got to see his handy work. Like Janet's, my breasts had just the right amount of sag, yet were firm and perky. As I gently held them in my hands, all I could do was grin.

I promptly went out and got fitted for bras, buying several in different styles. I liked the soft cup front hook bras, and by using a small gel insert, I had the full B cup I wanted. More panties and pantyhose, I got my ears pierced, and bought makeup better suited for me. You could say that I had leaped before I looked, and maybe you would be right, but having the knowledge that I had a woman locked inside of me for all those years, one that had been slowly dragging me down, was, literally, a drag… no pun intended. But I took the opportunity when Janet opened the door for me to try it, scarcely looking back. I didn't really have to think about it. From the moment I left the doctors office I was a woman. All I had left to do was learn how to be one.

Day after day I struggled to walk and move like a woman, their natural fluidity escaping me; but I kept practicing, and after a few months of hard work, I was just close enough to being natural that Janet said that it was time that I met the world, meaning that the two of us would go out. It would be a big step, to go to dinner then a nightclub, but crushing my doubts, she insisted that I was ready. My preparation began with a trip to the salon to get my hair trimmed and styled. Still on what I thought was the short side, by the time they were done, my hair was every bit as feminine looking as I had hoped. Once I got home, it took hours to get ready, as I made sure that there wasn't one extra hair anywhere, that my special panty was fixed in place, and my skin was as smooth and silky to the touch as I could get. Then came the sexy panties with bra to match, pantyhose and makeup, earrings and the dress. As I stepped into the shoes I got butterflies, but they went away as soon as I looked in the mirror. I used the red lipstick and some perfume, then grabbed my purse. I was as ready as I would ever get.

Janet drove, and as we motored along….

"This is a very classy place Susan. Just be yourself, and use what you've been practicing. We'll have a very nice dinner, then hit the club later, but I don't want you to be a wall flower! I want to see you out there dancing and having a good time! Understand?"

"Yeah, I get it, but…."

"And if some guy hits on you, and he's cute, well, go with it! I mean, you do want to get pregnant, right?"

"But I'm not… I…."

"You have become a very attractive woman Susan, and attractive women get hit on! Besides, it takes a guy to get pregnant, or didn't you remember that?"

"I remember" I said a bit sullenly, "but I'm not…. I've never…. you know that I've never… been with a guy before! I mean…"

"Don't worry so much! Just be yourself, and I promise that you'll have a great time! Besides, it's not like you'll be jumping in the sack with the first guy that comes along, not on your first meeting anyway!"

We were seated, and almost immediately had a waiter at the table. We ordered dinner, then, just as we finished eating, two guys walked over! The tall one spoke to Janet.

"We saw that you ladies were alone, and thought perhaps that we might buy you dessert? It's such a nice place for couples that we thought we might join you?"

Janet looked me, but I found that I was afraid to say a word, so.. "that would be nice. I'm Janet, and this is my sister Susan."

"I'm Greg, and this is my brother Jeff."

Janet invited them, so they joined us, Jeff sitting next to Janet, Greg next to me. Both were very polite of course, and I did my best to be as feminine as I could. I must have done okay, because neither of them gave me any funny looks. When Janet mentioned that we were headed to a club, they asked if they could join us, and of course, Janet said yes. She didn't ask me, she just did it. Saying that I had to "freshen up" I dragged her butt into the ladies room with me.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

"Why not let them go with us? I mean, I'm a girl, and you're a girl, and they are kind of cute, so why not?"

"But I'm not… I can't…"

"You are, and yes, you can! And besides, this is what you wanted… isn't it?"

"Yeah, but…"

"You listen to me Susan! Greg is obviously taken with you, so go out there and be the girl he thinks you are! Christ! You have your own boobs now, and I know all about that panty you're wearing, so don't try to tell me that you can't do this! Besides, there are lots of ways for a girl to take care of a guy!"

Janet was right on all counts, it was only my long held, innate fear of discovery that was holding me back. As I used the bath, I thought about what she had said, and knew that she was right. I had accepted the role of female, I had my own boobs, and I looked every inch a female. I would do it. I added lipstick, and joined Janet as we walked back to the table. As we left, Greg slipped his arm around my waist, then walked me to our car. They were going to follow us, but Janet said that she wanted to stay with Jeff, so I ended up in Greg's car with him. He drove carefully, even though he kept looking at me and smiling.

"What?" I asked, "Is there something wrong?"

"No, you're just so pretty that I can't stop looking at you."

"You probably say that to all the girls you meet."

"I just moved here Susan. Jeff has been here a while, so, I haven't met any girls, and I don't have a girlfriend. What about you? Any boyfriends?"

"Nope. Just me and Janet. We share a house we inherited."

"So… you would be free if I called you?"

Suddenly coy, I said… "I might, it depends on whether I give you my number!"

Just then he pulled into a parking space and we went inside. The noise was loud, as in almost deafening! Looking around, I saw Janet covering her ears, and went to her.

"Lets get the hell out of here!" I almost yelled in her ear, "It's too loud!"

She nodded her head yes, and grabbed Jeff's hand, leading him outside. The four of us stood there getting used to the silence of the night, then….

"Listen" Jeff said, "I know a place that has a nice trio, jazz I think, and we can have some drinks and talk."

It was everything Jeff said it was, and we settled at a round table overlooking the small pond beside the place. The lighting, the soft jazz, and the drinks worked together to loosen both Janet and I up a bit, and I became less self conscious of what I was doing. I talked, I laughed, and I even danced with Greg. It was a new experience to have someone treat me that way, and it took a bit of effort before I got used to it. Greg and I were sitting there for a moment after that dance, then he took my hand in his. Under the table, but still, he held on, then, his hand drifted south, to my right leg. I put my hand over his to deter any further exploration, but didn't move his hand; I'll admit that it felt nice in a way. Then Jeff and Janet excused themselves, walking towards the small garden outside.

"Your sister and Jeff make a nice looking couple."

"Yes, I suppose, but it's way to early to suggest that!"

"I'm not, I'm just saying. They seemed to hit it off quite well."

"It seems so, yes."

"Can I call you? I was thinking maybe…dinner?"

I surprised myself when I said yes, then gave him my number. He asked, and since I had to know if I could pull it off, being a girl, by myself that is, what better way than on a date? And besides that, given the way Janet had taken to Jeff, there wasn't much doubt that I would see him again, so why not go out with his brother? By the time we got home Janet was on cloud nine. Smiling the entire way home, even I could figure out why. Jeff was good looking, and she had not dated very much since our parents were killed. She was ready to move on, and Jeff seemed like he was a likely candidate.

I neglected to tell her I had a date scheduled with Greg for a reason. I did not want to have her suggesting anything. I was going to see how I did on a date, all on my own. I also found myself unable to continue just sitting home practicing, and regardless of her wanting me to take care of the house. I had to have something to do, so I started looking for a part time job. Because of the numerous job loses in the area, the only thing I could find was working as a waitress at a family diner. I scheduled myself for four days a week. That would give me time to take care of the house and still have some money. Janet understood when I told her, so I began work the following day. Going from a male oriented job of modest authority to waitress was a bit of a shock, especially having to wear those short, form fitting blue dresses. The hem was almost three inches above my knees! I managed to do okay, with only a few mistakes on the orders, it was all that other stuff. Like getting hit on almost all day; or feeling a hand running up the back of my leg once in a while. I almost complained, but the other girl, Angie, told me that the guys that touched usually gave big tips, so I didn't rock the boat very hard.

It was harder than I thought it would be, standing on my feet all day, but Angie suggested the type of shoes to get, and I stopped on the way home and got them. I made almost $65 in tips alone that first day, which surprised me a little. If that remained about the same every day, then I would make almost a grand a month, just in tips! Add in another $500 in wages, and I would have enough to get by on without hitting my savings very often! Beat, I took a shower as soon as I got home, then found the note from Janet.

"Susan, I'll be out with Jeff. Don't wait up! JL"

I slipped on a nightgown, got a beer, and settled in to watch a little television. It was early, only about seven, but I wasn't planning on going anywhere, so I got my housecoat and simply relaxed. I had just taken a sip of my beer when the doorbell rang! I fastened the housecoat, and answered the door, surprised to see Greg standing there.

"Hi"

"Hi Greg! What are you doing here?!"

"When Janet showed up at our place I knew that I was definitely going to be a third wheel, so I left, and you were the only person I wanted to visit!"

"She left me a note saying not to expect her home tonight, so you're probably right! Come inside."

"You look great Susan."

"In this? Let me get some clothes on. I'll be right back."

"Don't bother. You look very… domestic? It seems to suit you."

"Me? Domestic? Hardly! Let me get you some coffee."

We sat and sipped our coffee, then he put his arm around me, pulled me closer, and kissed me. Not hard, but enough to let me know what he wanted. Even after living as a woman for over four months, I was still very unsure of myself, especially where a man was involved. I desperately wanted to be a woman, to be totally accepted as one, and Greg was obviously prepared to help me in that regard. My most closely held secret had always been to make love to a man, but only as a woman would. There wasn't any doubt that he wanted to jump my bones, that was obvious by the way he kept moving around, trying to hide the tent in his pants. I had paid lots of money for my 'babies, by then a full B cup, and that panty, knowing full well what I could do with it, yet always wondering if it would actually work as advertised. I also wanted to know if I could do for him what any healthy normal female would do for a guy. I'll admit that it came on me rather quickly, the thought that I might make love to him, but since Janet was away… I turned to face him, and kissed him back. Eventually his hand made its way to my breast, which made me feel tingly all over, and excited me to no end.

I knew that it was sudden, giving in like that, but I found that I was unable to stop myself. It was the central core, the one thing that I had to know about myself. I led him into my bedroom, and he immediately began to undress me, which didn't take long, and as I stood there, I reached out to undress him. His gentle yet firm manipulation of my senses had already led me to do things that I had never thought I would do. The sensations that rippled through me when he first kissed, then suckled at my breast was indescribable, and drove me deeper into the onrushing lust I was feeling. I touched him, stroking him as he lay next to me, the panting of his breath in my ear was firm with excitement. I rolled him on his back and got up on all fours, my breasts hanging from my chest like ripe fruit as I turned my face to his manhood. That first touch of my lips on it made him quiver in anticipation, yet when I suddenly swallowed him whole, he almost jumped into the air. It was not as unpleasant as I had thought it would be, and I worked on him until he was almost ready, then stopped. He grabbed me and pushed me on my back, and as I lay under him, I guided him in, then felt his motion, the pulsating throb of his desire, which was very intense. When he had completed, he lay there next to me panting hard, and as I rolled up next to him I grinned to myself. I had actually satisfied him! As a woman! Running my hand through the hair on his chest, I was thrilled beyond words.

He stayed the night of course, and as I awoke, I smiled at him. Then I went to make the coffee. Standing there in just my nightgown, I had the overwhelming feeling, as if I were a wife. I knew that I would like more nights like that, and found that I didn't mind that idea at all! I was humming to myself when he came in the kitchen, wrapped his arms around me, then cupped my breasts; I could feel his hardness pressing against my backside.

"Have some coffee" I said.

"I want you."

"Coffee" I insisted. "Then breakfast. You'll need your strength."

An hour later we were once again in the bedroom; I felt like a teenage girl as I pushed him back on the bed, then went to work on him. It was, unlike the night before, very easy for me to do that for him. I also knew that I could not go back to the way I was before. I was a woman, he was a man, and we were both adults. I knew even before he showed up that returning to my old status was out of the question, so making love with Greg was just another logical progression in my journey to full womanhood. After our showers, he had to go to work. As I did, we parted company. I was a very happy girl that day, and it must have showed, because Angie mentioned it.

"You look chipper today Susan, new boyfriend?"

"Yes, and he's cute as hell."

"Just be careful honey, guys get what they want, and they leave us standing there, sometimes pregnant!"

"Greg isn't like that! He's…"

"He's a guy Susan, and all guys are like that!"

"Not Greg!"

"We'll see."

Angie had been married twice, and her last boyfriend had just up and left her. It kind of makes you wonder if it was the guys or her. She had a terrible track record with men, so any advice she gave me wasn't worth taking to heart. About an hour into my shift Janet and Jeff showed up.

"Hi!"

"Hi Janet. Have a good time last night?"

"Probably about the same as you."

"I see!"

"No you don't" I said with a wink.

"Did you make him breakfast?"

"Of course."

"Aha!"

"No aha, he was hungry, that's all."

"I'll bet!" Both she and Angie said in unison.

The day went by quickly, and I was anxious to get home. Janet and I had to talk. She knew so much more than I did about men, which sounds silly, since legally I am one, but I had entered a whole new realm of existence, that of a woman. At the ripe old age of 21, and what everyone thought was a woman, there were so many things that I needed to know.

Janet and I talked that night about men, my future, and hers. She knew that I had let Greg sleep with me, but did not make a big deal about it. She simply wanted to know if I liked it. Well… duh! It was plain to the both of us that our futures were about to change. She really liked Jeff and was hoping for more, while I was very intent on completing my journey to full womanhood, and maybe a long future with Greg, or maybe another guy. The hormones had made my skin almost hairless, and very soft, I had my own boobs, and hips; the only thing missing was my own female genitalia.

As the days became weeks, I became more and more fluid in my actions, and at work, my tips got better, and I actually had people requesting my section. Greg and I talked on the phone every day, and I actually felt giddy each time he called me "baby", or "honey". Janet and Jeff became a very big item, and I began to see her less and less, often for days on end. That meant that Greg and I had the house to ourselves, and he and I became a couple, one that was virtually married! I cooked the meals, did the laundry, cleaned the house and put out, while he mowed the lawn, fixed the cars, and other household things that needed fixing. In effect, we were living together, and frankly, I was loving it! I liked being a housewife!

As much as I loved it, Janet reminded me that the goal had been to experience pregnancy, and since Greg and I were sleeping together, why not? The why not was that I would have to tell Greg that I was unable to have children; I would not have to tell him exactly why I couldn't have children, just that I couldn't, and have him agree to accept my having a fake pregnancy. I really didn't want to ask him. I was afraid that he would leave; then what? I thought about it for a long time before I approached Greg.

Finally, I told him that I did not have the ability to have children, but not why. Then I told him that even though that was true, I wanted to experience being pregnant; the whole thing, for the entire nine months. He just sat there as I told him that, interested, but very calm.

"I think I can understand not being able to have children, it's not that uncommon, but why fake a pregnancy? I mean, what's the point?"

"Having a baby is the pinnacle for a woman honey, and even though I can't have children of my own, I want to enjoy the experience, and who knows, maybe it will make me a better mother if I adopt someday!"

"Don't you mean when we adopt?"

"What!? Are you asking me to marry you!?"

"Susan, we're virtually married right now! So yes, I guess I am asking you to marry me!"

I was stunned to say the least. Our relationship was one of mutual satisfaction, much like any marriage, yet to have him ask me that wasn't even on my radar! I'll admit that I had thought of it, but as much as I loved being a woman, I wasn't one, and how could I ever tell him that? I started to cry, unable to say yes or no. I was very conflicted, but more, I was afraid. How could I ever manage to become a real woman without him finding out? And if I told him the truth, would he still want me? Greg rose up, took me into his arms and just held me as I sobbed. Never in my entire life did I expect to find myself crying over the love of another man, yet there I was, crying because the man I had come to love more than life, had asked me to marry him!

"Is it that bad? Marrying me?"

"No! It's not you honey, it's me! There are things about me that you don't know, and I'm afraid to tell you!"

"What? Did you kill someone?"

Gathering my courage into a small tight, tense ball… "In a way, I guess I did! I killed myself."

"Huh? What the hell does that mean?"

"I used to be like you Greg. I was a guy like you, but things have changed, and now… now I'm a woman!"

"A guy!? You're a guy!? You're telling me that I've been doing a guy!?"

In a sudden and very angry tone, I said… "Stop that! Just listen to yourself! Think how stupid that is! You know damned well that I'm a woman! How many times have we…. that you wanted…. that I…. a guy! I am not a guy! Not now anyway! I was, but that's changed and you know it! But, if you feel that way then maybe you better just go!"

Well, he stormed out of the house, angry and confused, while I fell back and started sobbing. My overwhelming desire to become a female had come true, yet the very thing that I wanted most, that special someone to love me for myself, not what I was, or wasn't, had just walked out the door, and probably wouldn't be coming back. I was a miserable wreck by the time Janet got home. She took one look at me and must have figured it out. I knew that I looked terrible, my hair was a mess, no makeup, and the stains of heartfelt tears on my cheeks.

"Greg dumped you didn't he?"

"I told him Janet. I had too!"

"I know honey, but you knew the day was coming, didn't you?"

"He hates me! Now I have nobody!" My wails reached a crescendo as I wallowed in my misery.

"He doesn't hate you Susan! He's confused, just like you are! He can't figure out how a guy could do such a thing, and then become so feminine that he couldn't pick upon it!"

"We… we've been sleeping together, and he still called me a guy!"

"Yeah, well, he'll think about that, that's for sure! Let me call Jeff and find out what's going on."

Twenty minutes later Janet returned.

"Greg is very angry with you because you deceived him. I asked him what he would have done if you had told him the night we met, and he didn't answer me, which means he wouldn't have even called in the first place! But, I'm willing to bet that he'll get over it. If he loves you, and we both know that he does, and if he's the kind of man you want in your life, then he'll be back. On the other hand, if he does dump you, then you're free to have that surgery, right? Without any complications? You can become the woman you really are, and get on with your life! There are a lot of nice guys out there Susan; Greg is only one of them! Lets wait a bit and see what happens, okay?"

I fell into a routine of work, and taking care of the house, my sullen pouting still there, just buried under my desire to forget what had happened. I was mad at myself for letting things get out of hand, and Greg was right. I had deceived him, but in my mind, only a little. In my eagerness to be a woman, I had let my desires get in the way of my common sense. I was the one at fault, not him, and I was determined not to let that happen again, and went back to my surgeon to set up my surgery. Four more months. That's how long I had to wait, and I would spend virtually all of my savings to become a woman, but it was going to be worth every penny.

Almost two more weeks went by, the constant drudgery of my day to day routine my only solace, then, just when I was about to break free, Greg showed up on my doorstep! I hesitated to let him in, but did.

"I am very angry with you Susan!"

"Then why are you here?"

"Because I'm in love with you dammit!"

"And I love you too, but that doesn't cut it, not after…"

"Did you know that Janet gave me a working over? She said that if I let you slip away that I would lose the best thing that ever happened to me!" He gave me that sneaky grin he has, then… "I think she's right Susan. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"What about my being born a male, like you? You didn't seem to like that very much Greg. In fact, you were angry as hell, even after I told you myself! Do you have any idea just how hard that was for me?"

"No, but I can imagine."

"I don't think you can. You have no idea how hard it is to tell someone you love dearly something like that!"

"Can I say something?"

"Sure" I said, just as he stepped close, and swept me into his arms, and kissed me, hard!

"Get it now?" he asked.

"Yeah. You're horny."

"That too, but you have to know that I love you, I really do, and I think that it's time we worked this out!"

Drawing back a little, I looked for some sign that he would hurt me, then said… "I want you to know that I am scheduled to have the surgery to make me a complete woman, in… nine weeks. I will not be able to have children of course, but nothing else will change, except that I absolutely intend to fake an entire pregnancy, just like I told you I would. If you can accept that, we can try it, but I'm not eager to get hurt again! Understand? So, I want to know, here and now, if you just want to get laid, or do you want someone that loves you?"

"You know damn well that I wouldn't be here unless I loved you! And, do you have any idea just how sexy a pregnant woman is? No? Well, I can't wait to have you on my arm, with you in a maternity dress!"

"That's because my boobs will get bigger" I said with a grin.

"Nothing wrong with that is there? I'll manage!"

Then he grabbed me, dragged me into his arms, and held me close, his warm breath on my neck making me shiver. His hand drifted south to my buns, and with a squeeze, he kissed me again. I was torn between making him leave and taking him to bed; instead, I moved away, and looked into his eyes. Then he grabbed my hand and pressed a ring into it!

"Take it honey. Wear it. We can plan the wedding later."

I held the ring tightly in my hand as I tried to digest what had just happened, but the mere fact that he once again asked me to marry him was confirmation enough for me, so I fell against him with a huge hug.

"Maybe we could… celebrate?" he asked hopefully.

"Not until after the wedding" I retorted, "or else I'll be old hat by then! No, you'll have to wait for that, but I can do this…."

Greg accepted my offer, and later, we had a very long talk about my upcoming surgery and the aftermath, then, mundane things like where we would live, my pregnancy and so on. By the time he left I felt much better about the situation, all of my secrets bare to the bone, no deception, no lies, and no doubts were left, and, I still had the ring!

The surgery went well and I completed that part of my journey, healing up within the usual time. Then Greg and I got married; it was a small ceremony, and we enjoyed each others company as husband and wife. About a month later I was fitted with a prosthetic that would allow me to look pregnant. Contrary to my expectations, Greg was overjoyed when I was about four months along. He was more than anxious to sleep with me, and our love making was quite vigorous, but I'm not complaining. Then came that stretch between the eighth and ninth month where all I could do was waddle around. The water was released on schedule, and I returned to normal, the baby we adopted arriving just a few weeks later.

So. There I was, a wife and mother, our son a very big part of our lives. The dream had come true…. Baby!

Bad Pills!

Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]

I started taking the pills when I was about 10, thinking I was taking vitamins. I had seen mom take one every day, so when she told me that I had to start taking vitamin pills, I assumed they were the same pills she was taking. Life went on like normal, until just about the time I turned 11. Being used to wearing a tee shirt all the time, I didn't even think about it when I slipped one on that morning. I saw the bumps, but didn't think much about them, and went to breakfast. Mom sat across from me eating, then, when I turned to get something, I heard her breath deeply.

"What's the matter mom? You hurt somewhere?"

"Ahhh, no dear, it's just…take your shirt off for a moment will you?"

"Right now?!"

She nodded her head yes, so I pulled it over my head and stood facing her. Without a word she moved a bit closer, then touched my chest, on both sides. Her eyes went wider than normal for a moment, then she sat down facing me.

"Go ahead and put your shirt back on." When I did…"Have you been taking anything I don't know about?"

"Huh?"

"Pills."

"Just the ones you take every day. You told me you were taking vitamins because they are supposed to be good for you, so I took the same ones you did. Why? Is that wrong?"

"Which vitamins honey?"

"Those small ones. The purple ones. They sort of give me a little more pep mom!"

"Oh dear God! How long have you been taking them?"

"About…over a year I guess, why?"

"Honey, those aren't vitamins, they're my estrogen pills!"

"So? Nothing has happened, what's the problem? I'll just quit taking them!"

"It might be to late honey! Those bumps on your chest? Those are breasts! Girls start developing about your age, and it's caused by the estrogen in their system!"

"Breasts?! I'm going to have breasts?! Mom! I'm not a girl! I don't even want to be a girl!"

"I know that honey, but after taking them for so long, I'm just not sure what'll happen! Maybe you already have so much in your system that nothing we do will stop this…growth! Maybe you'll have to…"

"Mom! No! I won't! I won't dress like a girl! I won't!"

"This is terrible honey, especially if you continue to develop breasts! Then you might have to! If you get big enough to have to wear a bra, then what? Can you see yourself going to school as a boy with boobs? You'll be laughed right out of the school, if the other kids don't hurt you first that is! How about we go see the doctor before we jump to any conclusions? That way we'll know for sure won't we?"

I started to panic, feeling my chest, just to make sure, but as small as they were, even I knew that by the look of horror on her face that she was telling me the truth. We went to see the doctor that very morning, and after a very long examination and a talk with mom in his office, the three of us sat together. That's when the panic I had held in really started to take hold.

"You have the estrogen level of a girl almost twice your age! That means" she said in a very calm voice, "that there is very little I can do for you. Even if you stopped taking the pills, your body will continue to develop, just like a normal girl your age would! I think that based on what your mother told me about her early development, you will probably grow rather quickly, and within a few months, maybe just a bit longer at most, your breasts will become pronounced enough to require assistance. Your hips will get certainly wider and rounder, you'll most likely never develop a deeper, more masculine voice, although I think that it will always be in the range for a girl your age." Putting her elbows on the desk…"Your testicles have not descended, and after checking carefully, I seriously doubt they will. They have atrophied so much under the force of the chemicals that your own body cannot make enough testosterone to combat the effects of the estrogen. In short, you're going to have the body of a girl, and there isn't much I can do to stop it."

I looked at mom, not knowing what to say or do, then I burst into tears. When I finally stopped…

"My…it won't fall of will it?"

"No dear, it won't fall off" the doctor said, "but then again, it won't get much bigger either, and given the effects that I'm positive are going to happen, that might not be a bad thing."

Mom and I left his office and went home, which is when I ran to my room and stripped off my shirt one more time to look again. Small, they poked out a bit, round, with the center a bit bigger and redder than I remembered. I felt my hips, which seemed to be the same, then I fell on the bed crying. I didn't want to be a dumb girl! I didn't! Mom came in a while later and held me in her arms as I sobbed until I couldn't cry any more.

"Part of this is my fault honey; if I had shown you the vitamin bottle you might not have made that mistake! It's a terrible accident, but people all over have to deal with accidents all the time, so we'll just deal with this one together. Besides, things might not happen as fast as the doctor said! We still have some time before it becomes a problem, and you'll be able to finish the school year just like you are, only I don't think you should wear anything that's tight; okay?"

I went back to school, but made sure that nobody ever saw me naked, and I never again wore a tight shirt. Mom didn't go out and buy dresses for me or anything like that, but she would not let me get my hair cut either. At best, I managed to get through the rest of the year without trouble, but each night I would check myself, and I could tell that I was getting bigger. My jeans started to fit loose in the waist and tight in the buns, and my shirts began to feel like they were made from sandpaper. I stopped running so much because my chest was starting to hurt, I hated that because I knew that the day was coming when mom was going to make me wear a bra, and that also meant dresses. It was coming, and there wasn't one thing I could do to stop it. I had quit taking mom's pills, but she started giving me some others that the doctor had prescribed, telling me that "they would help". I assumed they would sort of stop what was happening, but they didn't, and by the time I was out for the summer I was really starting to swell up. My boobs were big enough that my hand would fit over them, but just, and they stuck straight out, and were very tender.

The day after school was out, mom came into my room, a sad smile on her face. It was the day I dreaded. I was going to have to start wearing a bra! Mom had never gotten on my case about taking her pills, because it was accidental and she knew it. But she also made sure that I knew that when the time came, I was going to have no choice. I was going to have to start dressing like a girl. On that day, she came in, made me undress, then measured me before she told me to get dressed.

"You and I are going shopping today. It's time honey, and I want you there to make sure we get the right stuff."

"But mom! I can hide them! Really, I can! I'll just wear…"

"What? Loose clothing? Maybe that would help, but we have to face it honey, there are so many activities at school that sooner or later someone would find out! You have to take gym classes, right? What about that? And if your voice doesn't change like the other boys, you'll always sound like a girl! How bad would that be? I've thought about this as much as you have, and I can't see any other way; can you?"

I fought it, but in the end, like mom, and as much as I hated the idea of it, I knew she was right, so I went to the mall with her, then into the lingerie area. Bras, panties, and nightgowns were bought, then she took me to get a skirt, dress, one pair of shorts, a pair of jeans, and two pairs of shoes before she picked up some blouses and tops. Not many, but enough to make it plain that I had simply run out of choices. By the time we got home I was frantically trying to find a way out of my impending feminization, except that by then mom was very firm about what I had to do, and once we were in my room, it began.

"You'll have to undress honey."

"Mom…."

"Please, lets not make this any harder than it already is, okay? Let's just see how the clothes fit."

When I was naked, mom gave me a pair of panties to put on, telling me they were necessary, then she fastened the bra around me, adjusting the straps for fit and comfort. It felt really strange having an elastic band around my chest, but then again, not having my boobs bouncing around felt good. Next came a skirt and top, then the shoes, and finally, she put some makeup on my face and brushed out my hair. When she was done and I saw how I looked, I wanted to cry all over again. I looked like myself, but then again, not at all! It was like looking at my sister, if I had one! Mom left my room, telling me to join her in the kitchen.

"I know that this is going to be very hard on you, but we both have to face facts, don't we? You know that I can't let you go to school as a boy, especially as a boy with with breasts, so our only alternative is having you dress like this! I just cannot see any way that we can avoid it, so we'll just make the best of it, okay?" I didn't move. "What we need to do now is figure out what to call you. Have you thought about it at all?" I shook my head no. "Are there any girls names that you like?" Another shake of my head no. "We'll have to think of one honey, I'm sure that you don't want to use Nathan when you're dressed like this do you?" With tears welling in my eyes…"How about Naomi? It's a very nice name honey."

"Naomi? It sounds sort of…"

"Then how about Natalie?"

"That sounds a lot like my own name mom! The kids would know!"

"Okay…then…I know. Why don't we go out and get one of those books of names? We can also get your ears pierced and some jewelry?"

"Do I have to go outside? I mean…look at me!"

"But you look just fine! Besides, you'll have to get used to the idea that from now you'll be wearing clothes just like these! There's nothing wrong with being a girl, after all, I'm a girl!"

"But I'm a boy!"

"That's true, you are a boy, but you changed that by taking those pills honey! It's not your fault I guess, but the facts are that you now have the body of a girl your age, and you're only going to become more like a girl, not less, so you might as well get used to the idea that before long you'll be into makeup and clothes, just like all of the other girls!"

"I won't! I won't be like the girls! I might have to wear the clothes, but I won't like it, and I'm not going to act like one mom! Girls play with dolls and giggle a lot! I'm not like that mom!"

"That's fine. You don't have to be like them, but we both know you'll have to dress like them, don't we?"

Taking me by the hand, I made my first trip outside the house as a girl, going with mom to the book store. Rather than buy it, we sat there looking at all of the girls names, and finally, my finger rested on one of them.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I guess, it's alright."

"Okay, but I was thinking, while Lisa is certainly a very nice name, we already have a Lisa in the family. She's the daughter of your father's sister Carol, so I was thinking that maybe this name right here, Lindsey, might be a better name. How about Lindsey Rose."

It was as good as any, so I agreed. From then on, mom did not cut me any slack at all, taking me to get more clothes, including more panties, another bra, and two more skirts, a dress, and a pair of low heels. I also had to endure having my makeup done in one of those shops I never went in before, then watched mom buy everything the lady used. I got my ears pierced, and lastly, on the way home, mom stopped at her salon.

"We've come this far honey, so you might as well let me get your hair cut and styled. I'll tell them to keep it simple, that way you can take care of it yourself."

It was as if my body went along with everything mom wanted, even though my mind kept telling me that I shouldn't be there, but by the time we got home, there wasn't one thing about me that had not changed! My name, my hair, my clothes, even my jewelry had changed! As we ate dinner, I asked mom if I had to paint my room pink or anything like that.

"Not if you don't want to, but it is due for painting anyway, so why don't you think about it. Myself, I was always partial to light blue with white trim. It's sort of neutral, but you think about it."

All the rest of the day I did my best to get used to wearing a skirt, but the bra, no matter how much I hated it, did make that sandpaper feeling go away, which I had to admit, was a big relief. The downside was that wearing a bra made my small breasts stand out more, and everyone could see them. I grabbed a soda and went out the back, just to sit on the porch, think about what was happening to me, and probably cry a little. That's where I was when I heard her.

"Hi there! I'm Beth! What's your name?"

Looking up I saw her, and with a little hesitation in my voice, "Lindsey" I said softly, afraid that my friend Beth would know who I was. I wanted her to go away, but…

"You're Nathan! Why are you dressed like a girl!?"

"Mom says that I'm a girl now."

"No way!" I shrugged my shoulders and nodded my head yes. "No kidding? Wait til mom hears this!"

Then she ran off before I could ask her not to tell, leaving me with that ugly feeling in the pit of my stomach, the one that makes you think you're going to throw up. I ran back in the house, spun around the corner, and ran right into mom, almost knocking her down. I sped past her, running to my room, slamming the door behind me. Panting hard, I looked up and saw myself in the mirror, and burst into tears again. I looked like a girl! Turning when I heard the door open…

"What's the matter honey?"

"Beth! She knows!"

"Knows what? Did she see you? She must have. So what if she sees that you're dressing as a girl now?"

"She ran home to tell her mother too!"

"So? You heard what the doctor said didn't you? That nothing can stop it? I'll call her mother and explain things to her, but you can't keep running in the house every time someone finds out, and crying simply won't help! Will it? How about this. Let me fix your hair a bit and we'll add some pale lipstick, then we can walk over to Beth's house together. I'll explain what happened, then maybe you and Beth can talk, or maybe do something together. Can we do that?"

"This isn't a bad dream is it mom?"

"No dear. You have started to develop just like Beth has. I know this is hard on you, but rather than cry all the time, why not do your best to be the girl that you are becoming? What I mean is, why not watch how Beth acts and talks, then try to do what she does?" Mom took my hand in hers, squeezed it, then…"Lindsey, by the time you go back to school all of the boys will have started to get taller, wider and bigger. Their voices will have started changing, and they will be a lot stronger than you or any of the other girls! There is no shame in being a girl, so you'll just have to accept things the way they are and do your best to fit in. Can you do that?"

"I hate it mom."

"I know, but I also know that you will grow up to be every bit the girl Beth is! Let me fix you up a little, then we'll walk over there."

Crushed, I let mom do her thing, then, scared out of my mind and with her insisting, she and I walked, not through the yards like I thought we would, but around the block! Some of my other friends saw us as we walked past them, but nobody said anything, shocked into silence I'm sure. Mom rang the bell, and I was soon confronted by Beth, with her mother standing there beside her. Her mom let us in, but when her mom started to ask what was going on, my mom suggested that Beth and I go outside. Beth grabbed my hand and dragged me outside, leaving our mom's to talk.

"Are those real? Your boobs I mean! They look real to me!"

"Yeah" I said in a nervous voice, "that's why mom says that I'm turning into a girl. She said that because I have boobs, I don't have a choice."

"That's why you're wearing a skirt, right?"

"She said that I might as well. She said I would look funny as a boy with boobs."

"Yeah! I'll bet!"

"Don't you feel funny having your legs bare all the time Beth? Doesn't it get cold?"

"I don't mind, and besides, almost all of the prettiest dresses are short now, but when it gets cold, I wear pants!"

"I guess, but…"

"You'll get used to it after a while, and besides, you're kind of cute! I'm sure my brother will think so too!"

Her brother! A weasel first class, and a bully to boot, he was a year older than Beth and I, and always picked on us. Once he even locked Beth in her room for the whole day!

"Girls! Come inside. I have some cookies you can have for a snack."

Beth and I went inside, then sat at the table with our mom's. Beth's mom seemed more…at ease I guess, because she was smiling. Then she told me that I was welcome at their house any time.

"Your mother has explained how this happened honey. It's not your fault, and I'm sure that you and Beth will have lot's of fun together."

"Does that mean that she's here to stay?" Beth sounded happy I guess.

"Yes dear, from now on, Lindsey is here to stay, and I hope that you'll help her if she needs it."

"Sure! Can we go to my room now?"

Our mother's nodded yes, and Beth grabbed my hand. We went to her room, which was the first time I had actually seen a girls room. Posters and dolls, a small vanity covered with makeup and old junk, and a few bits of clothing strewn about, which meant that other than the dolls and the vanity, it looked like my room! I think that Beth wasn't much different that I was, collecting things she treasured, but she was in transition from little girl to young woman. Unlike me, she was looking forward to it! That's why her room was a mix of both.

"Have you ever worn a dress?"

"Just a skirt, why?"

"We can play dress up if you want, it's fun, and besides, maybe you'll find something you like!"

I…I'm not sure I should…"

"Come on! I'll go first then!"

Just as Beth took out two dresses, my mom walked in, telling me that the doctor had paged her, and wanted to see me! Mom and I left, getting to the doctors about half an hour later. When I walked in with mom, we were met by the nurse who took us into a small room with a bed in it. The doctor came into the room a few moments later, another doctor with her! With a smile, she told us why she had paged mom.

"I was talking with my colleague, and mentioned Lindsey's dilemma, being half boy and half girl I mean. That's when he told me that he once had occasion to help a friend that wanted to look like a woman, and discovered a way to make it seem as if his patient actually was a woman. If we do this for Lindsey, it won't involve any surgery of course, she is way to young for that, but after looking at the pictures he supplied, I have asked him to come and talk with you. I was thinking that when Lindsey starts school, she will have a hard enough time coping with everything else, and this procedure will allow her to do just that, only easier, without anyone knowing, or suspecting, that she is anything but a girl! Here, let me show you the pictures." With that, she handed the packet to mom.

"Wow" mom said to the other doctor who had just walked into the room, "this looks…can you, did you do this? How long did it take?"

"It took me a while to figure it out, but yes, I did it, and as a matter of fact, the individual I did this for has decided to leave things the way they are. I did this two years ago, and so far there have been no complications at all. The only change I would make is a minor one, but I would recommend it, just for esthetics. I am prepared to do it right now if you like. It will take about three hours because I will have to make one very small incision to reroute the urinary tract, but in a week or so, I promise you that there will be no sign that anything was done."

Mom showed me the pictures, and while I knew that girls looked differently, I wasn't real sure how they used the bathroom, where it exited I mean, and I couldn't tell by the pictures. All I knew was that he was right. If I went to gym classes with the girls, and they saw that I wasn't a girl, I would be lucky not to be just killed! Looking at mom, I didn't say anything, but she knew that the doctor was right.

"Let me talk to Lindsey for a moment, will you? In private?"

"Of course. This is a big step. Take all the time you need."

Mom simply nodded her head yes. I wasn't eager to lose the only sign that I was a boy, I hated it in fact, but…

"Lindsey, do you know what this means?"

"I…I think so…"

"It means that if we let him do this, then you will look like all of the other little girls; you'll have to sit down to pee, but all girls do that."

"In those pictures…he said that was a guy? Like me? But where is his…"

"I'm not sure, but he did say it was minor surgery, so I'm sure that he found a way to hide it. But those pictures sure do make that person look like a girl, don't they?"

"If you say so, but…he won't cut it off will he? I mean, what if I quit growing like a girl?"

"No dear, he won't cut it off, I promise. This is a very big step Lindsey" mom said softly, "but it will protect you, since nobody will ever know that you're really a boy. You'll look just like a girl, all over. You'll be able to play with Beth without any worrying about her brother or anyone else for that matter! Can I tell him we'll do it? That you have agreed?"

"I have to, don't I mom?"

"It would be better for everyone honey."

"I'll…I'll…be a real girl?"

"As far as anyone else knows, yes."

"And you won't tell anyone?"

"No dear, I won't tell."

"I…I…if you say it's alright, then…I'll say okay, but…"

"It'll be fine honey. In a few days you'll get used to being a girl. Everything will be fine."

Mom called the doctors back in the room, nodded her head yes, and the other doctor said…

"If you'll undress for us Lindsey, we'll get started then."

Mom stayed until they gave me a shot, then I faded out. I can only describe what the results are since I did not see anything. When I woke up, there was a small bandage just above my new parts. Instead of a small protruding part, I had a smooth front, rounded on the edges, of what looked like girls parts. When I was fully awake, my own doctor sat me upright, made sure that I was awake, got mom in the room, then told us what they did, and how.

"Lindsey was, as you know, smaller than a normal boy would have been due to the hormones, so after we made the incision, we rerouted the piping so that it terminates under her new vagina. Then we pulled the penis into the body and used the skin to create the outer folds. Using collagen, we rounded them out to look more natural, then secured what was left of her testicles and the penis in place. She won't even know they are there, and according to Mike, she will never experience any pain from the relocation. From now on though, Lindsey will no longer be able to stand and relieve herself. She will be just like the rest of the girls in every respect. There is a smallish pocket that was created when we inverted things, and as she gets older we think it might get a bit deeper. Not enough for a male, but certainly enough to convince everyone. You may get dressed now Lindsey."

It felt really different, and my panties fit without a lump in the front, but I think it was the first time I had to use the bath when it hit me the hardest. I wasn't a boy any more! Mom had me stay around the house for almost the whole week while I waited to heal up, with only Beth coming over. I told her that I was a real girl, and that made her smile, but it wasn't until I was at her house that Saturday that she saw me naked. She wanted to play dress up, and I agreed, although I had no idea what she meant by it. I stripped down to my panties and bra, letting her slip a party dress over my head, then she wore a different dress. We played with her makeup, and to be honest, we both thought that we looked fantastic, but in retrospect, I know that we looked like two old drag queens. I was getting undressed when she said she wanted to take a swim, but of course, I had no suit. That's when she threw one of her old ones at me.

"You can wear this one!"

With that, Beth stripped down, and for the first time I saw what real girl looked like, which was exactly what I looked like! Without a word, I also stripped down, which is when Beth saw me naked. It was only a glance, but it confirmed that I was, without any doubt in her mind, a girl. Once we were in the suits, we ran through the house and out to the pool, jumping in together. Like Beth, I was squealing when we hit the cold water, but we got used to it, staying out there about an hour. Just as we went to go back in the house, her mom gave us towels.

Rather than change, I simply walked across the yards to my house and went inside. Changing into dry clothes, I noticed that my shorts were snug across the front, but didn't think about that since Beth's fit the same way. I walked outside just as Beth's brother came walking down the street with one of his friends.

"Hey! Where's that twerp Nathan?"

"Who are you?" I asked, since he didn't know who I was.

"I'm Bill, and this is Harold. Who are you?"

"I'm Lindsey."

"You're that new girl that Beth is always talking about!" I nodded my head yes, hoping he would just go away.

"Tell Nathan that when I see him I'm going to whip his butt!"

"You can try" I said, but Nathan isn't here, and he isn't coming back!"

"Scared?"

"He got sent to live with his Aunt. We traded places."

"Yeah, well…"

"Come on Bill" Harold said, "Leave her alone. Lets go see if Greg is home."

As they walked away I realized that my knees weren't shaking like the usually were when I was around Bill! He liked to pick on Beth, but he almost never picked any other girls; only smaller boys. As the summer days went on, Beth and I got close, sharing almost everything, and I found myself starting to enjoy some of the girl things she liked to do, like shopping, playing with her dolls, and dressing up. Using the bathroom like a girl got to feel like it was normal, and I quit thinking about that. By the time school was ready to start, both Beth and I grown to a full A cup, gotten a little taller, and filled out in all the places a girl would. I got new bras and panties, some new skirts and tops plus a few dresses, but when we bought the bras, I picked them out myself, and all of them were very sexy!

I don't know how mom did it, but on the day of enrollment, she handed some papers over, and I was enrolled without a word as a girl named Lindsey Rose. I was in Junior high! I quickly found myself drawn into the routine of school, no longer worried about being a girl, just about fitting in. Sadly, nobody asked about Nathan, the old me, which meant that I wasn't doing that well anyway. About halfway through the year I noticed that some of the guys were hanging around some of the girls, laughing, touching, walking together and so on, and I felt left out! Wasn't I pretty enough? Was it something I was doing wrong? What? And worse, why was I thinking like that!? Just before Christmas, Thomas a boy in my math class, asked me to be his date for the Christmas dance! I was instantly scared, but also relieved, and a bit eager! Finally! A boy had noticed me! I was really one of the girls! I told him I would ask, and that night, when mom got home, I could hardly hold it in. Of course, mom said yes!

When Thomas and his dad showed up at our house to pick me up, I was no longer a boy in a dress, but a girl about to go on her first date! My hair had been done at the salon, mom did my nails, and I wore a pretty dress and for the first time, heels. When he took my hand, all thoughts of being a boy evaporated. The dance was wonderful, but when he walked me to the door afterwards, he kissed me, right on the lips! I ran in the house, so excited that I almost couldn't stand it. That was the day that my conversion from boy to girl was complete. When Thomas kissed me. After that I simply didn't think about it, going on to join many clubs for girls, making friends that I still hold dear to this day. Eventually I developed into a woman, and with my 36B-24-37 figure, I had no trouble attracting guys, even Billy the bully. When I turned 18, I still had about half a year to go before graduation, but I was able to talk the doctor into the surgery to make me complete over the mid term break. I asked, and Beth was right there with me as they rolled me into surgery. As my best friend in the whole world, and one of a very few people that knew the truth, she was also eager to see me complete.

When I returned to class, a week late, I was still sore, but able to continue as a girl, and my boyfriend, who at that time was Harold, was the first one I let touch me there. Nothing more, but I had to do it, for myself. It wasn't until I was in college that Thomas and I got together again. He had turned into a very handsome man. We went out a few times, then it happened; As he lay there next to me I realized that I was just as much a woman as any other, and by the look on his face, he thought I was better.

So. Those bad pills I took? If I were thrown back in time, I now know that I would take them again, because being a woman is simply the best thing that every happened to me…

Being a Mommy

By Janet L. Stickney

Having had lots of practice dressing and going out as a woman, I was unconcerned when I walked through the mall in search of a new black dress. There was a new art showing at the museum, and I wanted to be tastefully dressed for the occasion. Wearing shorts, a top and gym shoes, I was comfortable and not paying attention to anyone as I flitted from one store to the next. I ended up with new shoes, the dress, plus a set of pearl earrings with a matching necklace and bracelet, all in small bags. As I walked out of the mall and across the service drive, I was assaulted by a young woman carrying a small baby in a hand carrier. As she got closer I could see that she was very distraught, and she was mumbling something, so I couldn't understand her. I watched her just in case. Suddenly she thrust out the baby carrier, forcing me to take it or let the baby drop to the ground, then, the minute I had my hand on the carrier, she ran across the parking lot, jumped in an old truck, the drove away!

I didn't care how I was dressed, I went back in the mall and called the police, reporting what had happened. A few minutes later a police car showed up, driven by a female officer. I explained what had happened, the kind of truck she drove off in and so on, all while holding the baby, since neither officer made a move to take it from me.

"Okay" The Sergeant" told me, "I think we have all we need for now."

Just then the other officer answered a radio call, then,

"We have a robbery in progress. It's just around the corner."

As they started to leave I asked her "Aren't you going to take the baby?"

"We can't take the baby right now, but we have all of your information. I'll forward it on the Family Services Division, and they'll get in touch with you."

"But what am I going to do with a baby?!"

"They will contact you later today, tomorrow morning at the latest. In the meantime, I'm sure that you know how to care for a baby!"

With that, they jumped in their car and sped away leaving me standing there holding a baby! Having no choice, I strapped the baby into the car the best I could, and drove home, stopping to pick up some disposable diapers, a baby bottle and a few other things. Carrying a baby around like that gave me a sense like no other I had ever experienced when I was dressed up, and I'll admit it, I kind of liked it! Having all the other women stopping to look at the baby made me feel as if I were one of them, a mother. By the time I got home it was clear that the baby needed to be changed, so I put her on the floor and began to unwrap. That's when I discover it was a girl. As I undressed the baby I found a note in her clothes saying that her name was Melissa, her birth date, and nothing else. I changed her diaper, wrapped her in a towel and threw her dirty clothes in the washer. Then I called my mom.

See, I'm a single guy! I like to dress as a woman, and over the years I had become quite good at it. I'm 23 and work as a graphics designer from home, which gives me plenty of chance to stay dressed up, but even with all that, I had no, as in zero, experience with babies, which meant that I really needed my mother. When I told her what had happened, all she did was laugh! She had always known about my dressing up, and while she didn't like it, she never really put the hammer down on me about it. All she ever said was that if I knew what being a woman meant, I would never want to be one. Since I didn't get it at the time, she was laughing now, because for however long it took, I was about to become a young mother! I didn't bother to change, so when mom showed up, I was still dressed like I had been at the mall, perfume and all.

"Oh! Isn't she cute!" mom said as she picked up Melissa. "You change her yet?" I nodded my head yes. "She doesn't look like she has been abused, but maybe she should take a nap. Let's put her down." Mom and I put her in the middle of my bed, making sure that she couldn't fall out, then went back to my living room. "Did they tell you how long this might last?"

"The cops said today, tomorrow at the latest, someone would come to get her. I think I can manage at least that long, with your help of course!"

With a grin, mom sat down, and said "now that", in her words, "I had the chance to really be a mother", she would supervise, but made it clear that I would have to do everything. Not to be outdone, I agreed. As we watched the news later that night we found out that the entire Family Services Division had gone out on strike, and according to the news, it might be a very long strike! There was no way to tell just how long it would last! I looked over at mom as we both realized what that meant. I was going to have Melissa for a while! Mom quit laughing at that point, because she realized that the very real prospect that I might actually have to be a mother, for the short term anyway, might come true! Mom stayed with me that night, watching as I fed Melissa with a bottle, changed her, then put her down. That night, with no place to put the baby, she slept with me. I was awake most of the night worrying.

Melissa was 15 months old, just about ready to start walking, and my supply of baby clothes was zilch, so mom went out and picked up a few outfits, socks and shoes, plus some formula. I looked like hell, so I put the baby in bed, then took a shower, shaved, and changed into a skirt and blouse, brushed out my hair, and put on some makeup, all before mom got home. When my mom returned, she and I changed the baby, fed her yet again, then let her play on the floor.

"You look" mom said with a smile, "very mommy like this morning Janet, planning on making this a permanent thing?"

"Me? No, I just thought that if someone does show up, they should get the baby back from the same person they gave her to!"

"Right" mom said, "if you say so, but remember, this child is not yours, and you'll have to give her back some day. Are you going to dress like this until then?"

"Yeah, I guess" I told her, "why not? I'll have to go grocery shopping and so on with the baby, so why not look like a mother if I can?"

"No reason" mom said grinning at me, "but it does remove everyone's doubt about you, if they had any, especially while you're lugging a baby around, doesn't it?"

"I hadn't thought of that mom, but yes, I guess so, but wouldn't that make you a grandmother?"

Mom didn't flinch, she just told me to get my purse. We were going to get me some "mommy outfits" she said. I had no idea what she meant, but together we got the baby ready, then left for the mall. Once there I rented a stroller so I wouldn't have to carry Melissa, then we went straight into a department store where mom picked out a couple of those jumpers you see so many new mothers wearing. Long, about mid shin with daisies, small animals or other assorted pink, blue or mint green ornamentation sewn on. Then she picked out a few blouses to wear under the jumpers. As I looked around I began to see many young mothers pushing strollers, something I had not paid any attention to before, and for some reason I felt more…maternal I guess. Melissa slept through most of our shopping, which I was thankful for. Mom went home soon after we got to my house, leaving Melissa and I alone. As I looked down at her, she smiled at me, and I had a warm feeling rush over me.

Melissa fell into my arms when I picked her up, then, when I put her down while holding her hands, she tried taking her first steps. I spent a wonderful hour playing with her, and with each passing minute I grew more and more attached to her, and realized that if this went on for very long, I knew that I would have tremendous trouble letting her go. I found myself wanting to keep the child, not because it made me feel more feminine, but because she was such a delightful child. I was watching the news that night when it was reported that the strike was getting worse, then the reporter said that anyone that had business with Family Services would just have to wait, because of the entrenched positions both sides were taking. Looking at Melissa, I found that I didn't really care how long the strike went on. I had her, they didn't. In my mind, I had become her mother, not the woman that had so casually abandoned her.

The next morning I wore one of my new "mommy" outfits, then set out to buy myself a stroller, playpen and a few other things that I knew I was going to need. Each day started the same, feed and change Melissa, then let her play while I went to work. I continued to dress as a woman, afraid that another big change might startle Melissa and harm her. At least, that's what I told myself. The days became weeks, and each time she and I went out, shopping, to the park, whatever it was, I always felt a growing attachment to her, as if she were really mine. My mother helped out once in a while, but my dad, while not liking me dressed as a woman at all, was a complete pushover as soon as he saw Melissa, then held her in his arms. That little girl had him wrapped around her tiny little finger almost from the first moment he held her, which is when he started calling me Janet, for the first time ever! That's when I decided to try and find out what I could about Melissa.

That night I logged on, and began to search all birth records for the day given for her birth. There was no Melissa listed, not even as a middle name. I printed out all of the names anyway, then tried to find out how to get a birth certificate for her. Sooner or later she would have to go to school, and if this went on that long, I would need it. In my heart I knew it was just fantasy, surely someone would come for her, but ignoring that, I went ahead and tried anyway, even knowing there was no easy way to get her a birth certificate without jeopardizing my custody. I knew that by keeping her I would have to make a commitment that I had never considered before, yet the more I thought about it, the more I knew that I wouldn't mind at all. I would have to tell my parents, but that was only the first hurdle. I picked up the phone, then told my mother what I was going to do.

"But if they take her away from you" mom said with a sigh, "you'll be stuck!"

"I don't look at it as being stuck mother" I retorted, "it's been on my mind for some time anyway."

"I know honey" mom said softly, "it's just…your father will…"

"He'll be so busy playing with Melissa that he won't care mother."

"Do what you have to then, just don't be surprised if someone shows up to claim her."

The next day I called both my doctor and my lawyer, and set in motion my becoming a woman. First, I changed my name to Janet Lynn, then started taking the pills to make me more womanly. Each day became an adventure as I still had to do my work, but each day when I went to have my beard removed, I had to bundle up Melissa and take her with me. That meant diapers, the stroller, her bottle, and a few toys. It was like moving an army! By the time three months had gone by I was so used to dressing as a woman that it was second nature, and with Family Services still on strike, I had became Melissa's mother by default. I suppose I could have been her father, but I had long since reached the conclusion that being a woman was in my future anyway, so I never considered being her father. By the time Melissa had been with me six months, everything had changed.

First, she could walk, and her natural curiosity kept me busy watching her. Then she started to talk, calling me mama, but also, my mom became nana while my dad was papa. My body had started changing, beginning with hair loss and a modest change in my body shape. I had small but firm breasts and my hips had gotten wider, my hair longer, and better, I no longer had to shave. That was when I really decided to get Melissa a birth certificate, one that listed me as her mother. With my parents along with me, the four of us visited my lawyer, and set things in motion, starting with getting my own birth certificate changed to female. Then I would have to risk exposing myself by going to court to legally adopt Melissa. She was almost two by then, and the time was coming when I might want to put her in preschool.

My birth certificate was easy enough, and once it was registered, we got our court date. My attorney met us just outside the courtroom, then together we walked into court. I had dressed Melissa in a beautiful black velvet and white satin dress with black shoes and ribbons in her hair to match. The judge was a woman about mom's age. I saw her smile when she saw Melissa. The lawyer presented our case, outlining the exact circumstances that I came to have Melissa, calling both police officers as witnesses. My doctor, who had checked Melissa every month since I got her, testified that she was in perfect health and well cared for. Then it was my turn. Handing Melissa to mom, I answered the judges questions.

"You are aware that raising a child is a life long commitment?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Your parents are helping you?"

"Mom mostly" I said lightly, "she has more experience than I do."

"Of course" the judge said quickly, "I can understand that."

"Your documents say that your name is Janet Lynn, but your birth certificate is newly issued. Why is that?"

It was my moment of truth. "I'm in transition your honor, and as part of the process it's a requirement."

"Your honor! If I may?" It was my doctor. "Janet is, for all practical purposes, a woman right now. She faces surgery to complete her transition, but at this point, that's really quite minor to her well being, and her ability to care for the child."

"I see" the judge said. "Your family obviously supports you, and the child seems to be very well cared for, but there are some procedures we have to go through before I can simply let you adopt her. The Family Services division has to post a notice giving the natural parents a chance to claim her, but of course, they would have to provide positive paternity before they could reclaim the child. However, since Family Services is on strike and does not have the ability to post such notice, I will give you legal custody of the child until such time as things return to normal." She paused, then, "It is our normal practice to place children in homes with two parents. Do you plan on getting married?"

"With the baby and my work" I said, I don't really have time to date, but yes, in the future I hope to get married some day."

Without another question, I was named the legal guardian for Melissa, the judge giving her my last name in absence of knowing her own last name. In just a few months I had gone from a carefree guy that liked to dress up once in a while to a young mother, and I found that I didn't mind a bit! My dad carried Melissa for me, and as I watched, that little girl continued to wrap that crusty old man into a knot with her smiles. Becoming a mother threw my life into a chaotic mess, as I always had to schedule meetings around the times I knew that she would be tired, then of course, all of my clients had to be told that I had changed my name. They could draw their own inferences from the name Janet, because I didn't think I had to tell them I had become a woman. But the joy that Melissa brought me was far greater than any inconvenience. When Melissa turned three she had already started to talk, and I put her in a well known day care center. Each day for four hours I was able to get a lot done in my work while at the same time Melissa began to interact with other children. It was perfect for both of us.

Then, just as Melissa was about four, it happened. A notice was posted in the paper, and a woman showed up claiming Melissa was hers! She knew all of the details of how I came to have her, then a test confirmed that she was the mother. I was in agony as the court date approached, knowing that I might lose Melissa to a woman that had given her away almost four years previously, but my lawyer told me that was a good thing, because it showed a lack of caring on the real mothers part. My lawyer was ready for a fight, and on the day we went to court, I had steeled myself for the possibility that I might lose Melissa. The judge, a woman with four kids of her own, sat staring at the woman that had abandoned Melissa so long ago, and by the look on her face, she wasn't happy. With a rap of the gavel, court was in session.

"Your honor" her lawyer began, we…"

"Thank you" the judge said, "please sit down. I have some questions of my own."

"Miss…Benson" the judge began, "where have you been for the last four years?"

"In jail your honor. I couldn't get out! I told them about my baby and they still made me stay!"

"What were you in for?"

"Ummm, I…"

"I'm waiting" the judge said quickly, then, "it was because you let your boyfriend beat your son to death, wasn't it? With a…with his fists it says here. Is that true?"

"I wasn't even there!" Miss Benson cried, "he did it when he ran out of…he was out of control!"

"He ran out of crack, which is where you were. You bought four rocks from an undercover cop, right?"

She said nothing, then the judge looked at Melissa, who was sitting on my lap, smiling and happy, oblivious to what was going on. Miss Benson" the judge began, "you have a history of drug use, you abandoned your son which led to his death, then you abandoned this child, giving her to someone you didn't even know! The child is happy, well cared for, and has a bright future within her current family, so I am terminating your parental rights and awarding the child to Ms. Stickney." Turning to me and my attorney, "Do you have a motion for me sir?"

Startled, I whispered in his ear. "Yes your honor. We would like to finalize the adoption so that Ms. Stickney can continue to raise the child without any further interference."

"Granted" the judge said, "have the papers on my desk this afternoon and I'll sign them."

That's how I came to have a child of my own, but I became a mother the moment Melissa and I bonded. She is now six and in school full time. I had the surgery some time back, and dad introduced me to the son of one of his clients, something he wouldn't do unless he knew for sure that he was a nice guy. Hopefully he's right!

Fashions
Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]

The Senior class decided it would be a great fund raiser, and we were all eager to put the show together. But we had to pick the girls that would be the models. We could only have so many, which was less than the number of available girls of course. We had the dresses lined up, the plans to build the stage, and the music picked out. Of course, we, the guys I mean, met alone one day. We didn't think the girls could pick out the kind of girls we wanted. None of us wanted to leave out a friend, or girlfriend of course, but that would still be too many girls, so, as group, the boys I mean, we decided on the ten girls that would do the modeling. We didn't even consult the girls afterwards, because who knows what a pretty girl is better than a boy? We, meaning me, posted the names on the bulletin board the next day. That's when it all hit the fan so to speak.
Myself and several others were called into the Principals office within an hour. The look on her face could have dried up ripe fruit boys and girls. I and the others stood there as she paced back and forth, clearly angry, until at last she spoke.

"Just how do you pick these girls?"

"We, um, well, we thought they were the prettiest ones Ma'am."

"I will remind you that this is a fashion show not a beauty contest gentleman. Have you any idea what you have done?"

"Uh…no Ma'am. What?"

"What store are we getting the clothes from?"

"Beckers Ma'am."

"And they have a daughter?"

"Yes Ma'am, but she weighs more than my ca…"

"That's enough of that!

We almost stood at attention, because her wrath was legendary. This woman has a reputation for innovative ways to remind students that she is in charge, and does not take stupidity lightly, and apparently, we hit the stupid button dead center.
"You know what I think?"

"No Ma'am, what?"

She gave Bill a glaring look, then, "I think we'll let the five of you plus five others I select do the modeling!"

"What!"

"You heard me. Now, the fashion show is well over three months away, which will give you boys plenty of time to get used to wearing dresses! In fact, I think we'll change the advertising so that everyone knows it will be you boys doing the modeling! If you look good, and let me assure you that you will, Mr. Becker can use that in his advertising! If you look good in his dresses, then what will the dresses look like on a real woman! You know something, I think I like this! Thank you for helping me gentleman. Now then. Today is Thursday, which gives you plenty of time to get ready for Monday."

"What happens on Monday?"

Me and that stupid button are going steady I think. I should have guessed.

"You five will appear in this office on Monday morning, dressed as girls from the skin out. If I have any doubt about that, I will have the Nurse check. Any questions? No? Good. I'll see you ladies on Monday morning then."
As a group we walked out of her office, grim faced, wondering how this had happened. We all looked at each other, trying to figure out how everybody would look as a girl. Sam, well he would never do. 6'3" with a body like a small truck and a head like a medicine ball, I had a vision of Attila the Hun in a dress. The rest of us were closer to normal. I'm 5'6" and weigh 135. The rest are about my size, except Bill. He's only 5'2" tall and weighs maybe 110. As we stared at each other, the class bell rang and we hustled to class. Now, I wasn't about to say anything about this to anyone! Maybe we could change her mind, but in my heart I knew it was no contest at all. She would get her way, and on Monday morning, I knew we would all be in class, wearing a dress or a skirt and blouse, with full makeup and our hair done.

Just after noon she called a general assembly. As I sat there in the audience, I spied two others, and we knew what she was about to do to us, and we were right. She told everyone about the new plan, then she told everyone it was our idea! She went on to explain that since all ten of us volunteered, and to be able to wear the dresses in some kind of lady like manner, we would be attending school as girls. She also mentioned that we had also volunteered to do this, in the interest of the show of course, and anyone that so much as bothered us about it, even a little, would become very unhappy very quickly. I watched as she pulled out a small card, then read off the names. Sam was not on the list, but the rest of us were, plus six others. It did not take a genius to see that she had selected the guys that thought they were a gift to the ladies, or, in one case, society in general. All of the guys were my height or shorter, and all of us were on the thin side for boys. She had chosen well. Except for me of course. The audience, especially the girls were clapping and stomping their feet as we walked on the stage. I saw my sister sitting there grinning from ear to ear. A very bad sign. She would tell mom, then dad would find out, and I would be in a dress faster than a bullet could kill me. I looked at my fellow victims, and saw no smiles. Grim faces all.
That night, during dinner, my sister let the cat out of the bag. I had remained silent on the issue, hoping that I could find a way out of this. My mother looked at me with a stunned look on her face, then dad asked me if this were really my idea. With Jill sitting there willing to refute anything I said, I had no choice but nod my head yes. But I tempered it by saying that wearing skirts to school for three months had been the Principals idea. Mom started
smiling while dad began to laugh. Jill however was looking at me like a fresh kill.

"Right after dinner I want to see you in my room. We'll need to see what size you are so we can get you a few things."

"Can I come too Mom?"

"I think not. Your brother volunteered because this is a charity event, but based on the look in your eye, I can tell that you would love nothing more than to turn this into a freak show. Let me assure you Jillian Marie, that if you harass your brother at all about this, you will not like what happens to you in the slightest. Do you understand me?"

"Yes Ma'am."

Mom and I went to her bedroom, then she shut the door and looked at me.

"This wasn't your idea was it?"

"No…"

"What happened?"

I told her everything, the reasons why we did it, everything. I even told her what the Principal said.

"As much as you might want me to side with you, I can't. She was right, and this will be a valuable lesson for you boys to learn. I did not think that you would do such a thing! Trying to pick out ten girls! Its like judging cows for goodness sake! Now then, you and I will set the ground rules. First, you will never leave this house unless you are dressed as a girl, for any reason whatever. You will not look halfway dressed, and by that I mean a dress, your own shoes and no makeup. No, you get the whole deal, every day until this is all over. If by that time I decide that you haven't learned your lesson, I will extend your time in dresses until I think you have. You will do your very best to become a girl, and maintain that standard until I say your done. That means a hairless body, nails and hair done, proper clothing for the occasion, and you will always wear makeup. You can have the same curfew, but if someone asks you out we have to meet him first, the same as Jill. Any questions?"

"Dates? I'm not going to date anyone Mother!"

"We'll see. Now get undressed so I can get a few measurements."

Mom, not she and I together, set the rules, but of course I knew that when she said it. Like a butterfly pinned to a board, I became a mere canvas as she began to measure me for the painted girl she was about to create. Gratefully, she let me keep my briefs on. Like most guys I know, I had wanted to get into a girls panties for some time now, and I even had a candidate. I did not expect to be the one I would find inside the panties. Mom took about an hour, trying different foundations on my face, making notes as she went along. Mom can be a pussy cat when she wants to be, but when her dander is up, not even Dad would try and tangle with her. She's a bit of a perfectionist, the house was always spotless and we never ever appeared in public in ragged clothing, so I figured she would do her very best to make me look, not only like a girl, but a very pretty girl. I could also bet that this same conversation was taking place in nine other houses across the city. When she told me she was done, I went to my room and stayed there.
Friday morning all mom said was that she wanted me to come straight home, and I could guess why. There was no use fighting it, we were all going to lose the battle, and I resigned myself to my fate. In school that day eight of the ten "volunteers" came together at lunch. It seems I was right. Our mothers all told us about the same thing. The only one that was actually looking forward to this was Steve. He was so eager that I wanted to mention it, but kept my mouth shut.

"The only way we can make this work without taking a lot of flak is to just do it. Smile a lot, laugh even. Try to walk and so on, just like a girl. Wear what the girls wear and nothing more or less. Don't go sexy or crazy, that might set her off again. Some of us have long hair, so maybe we can get it styled, the rest of you get a nice wig."

Nobody said a word to what Bill said, we all just nodded our heads in agreement. Not surprisingly, my girlfriend Cathy told me she was very proud of me for volunteering! According to her, most girls knew they would not be chosen, so they would not have felt bad about it, but by not having any girls do the show, it removed any stigma from everyone, and kept the prettiest girls from flaunting it in front of everyone else. What could I say? She gave me a peck on the cheek, and told me to call her when I became myself again. She didn't date girls you see, and she didn't want anyone to think she did. Great.
About then the Principal walked up.

"I have had to remove two of the boys. I have their permission to tell you why. Henry and his mother live alone, he works after school to help support them, and they cannot afford the expense. Kenneth's mother absolutely refused to let him participate, and has taken him out of the school. That means that the eight of you will be the models."

We all knew about Henry. He worked hard, and while he always wore clean clothes, they were rarely new, and he never joined in the after school affairs, simply because he could not afford it. Nobody would get on him about not being able to do this. Nobody. Kenneth's mother was well known for trying to run the school from her parlor. His parents have lots of money and try to push with it. The general consensus was that Ken bought his friends. Nobody would miss his sorry butt in the least. His leaving almost made it worth while in my book. Almost.
As soon as I got home Mom told me to go to my room. On the bed were some clothes, shoes in a bag, and a long plastic bag hung from the closet door. Mom merely wagged her finger, and I got undressed, again to my briefs. She and I struggled over this, and I finally won, but not without a concession. The goo she smeared on me smelled bad and itched worse, but she had me endure it for a long time before I was allowed to shower it off. I had been told to also shave as close as possible and wash my hair, so it was a while before I stepped out of the shower, a towel wrapped around me. The compromise was that I had to shave my groin in a narrow strip from stem to stern. The panties hung from her finger, and signaled the beginning of my transformation. I slipped them on in the interest of modesty, but it was clear that the thin material hid nothing and I was forced to hide things between my legs. I expected to get dressed, but mom had me sit in the chair she had set up at the card table. Makeup. I was about to start wearing makeup. Under her direction, I began to apply the foundation to my face, using two fingers to draw it out evenly. Slowly, all traces of my beard disappeared, then, after I used the translucent powder, my face turned smooth and matte, clear, like any girl I know. Eye shadow, green and gray, then liquid eyeliner and a pencil to outline my eyes. Mom showed me how to do blusher, using a soft coral and a sponge.

I sat there, afraid to say a word as she started to fill my hair with rollers. Using a gel, rollers and pins, she had my hair done in a few minutes. I was sure I knew how to undress a girl, but I had no idea how to dress a girl so to speak, so I was somewhat confused when she started to hand me things.
"Those are pantyhose dear, sit on the bed and slip them on, but be careful not to snag them."

As the slick nylon slid up my legs I felt the electric shock of delight, and shivered a bit. I tried to hide it, but Mom saw it and grinned at me. Without a word, the next item was a padded pantybrief. Obviously, it gave me hips and a butt. The waist nipper was something new. I had never seen one before, but Mom walked me through it, and as soon as I had the hooks fastened in the front, she pulled the Velcro straps tight. I thought I would be unable to breath, but she went on as if it was the most normal thing in the world. The bra was one she called a Pushemup, and it did just that. I secured the front clasp and saw that the skin on my chest had been pulled into the cups of the bra, making it seem as if I had boobs, and of course, with the addition of small silicone pads, the hard shell of the cups maintained the shape ! Then a short white slip went over my head and was adjusted. Next came the dress. Mom pulled it out of the bag and I saw it for the first time. It was a pale pink sheath dress, sleeveless and looked really short. Without a word she slipped it over my head, then zipped it up. I felt stupid of course, until I looked in the mirror. Mom pointed at the shoes, and I stepped into them. The white heels pushed me up in the air a bit, and all at once my legs became shapely, my butt stuck out, and I was shocked into silence.

At the vanity she began to remove the rollers, then brushed out my hair. With each brush stroke I saw a girl emerging. The more she brushed the more feminine I became, until she said she was done. My hair was curly across the back, circling around the sides, parted in the middle, with bangs down past my eyes. Mom fixed that with a pair of scissors. I felt the lipstick in my hand, and like a zombie, I traced my mouth with the red lipstick, making my face brighter. I saw her in the mirror as she used a needle to pierce my one ear, then the pink and white earrings were pushed in and made secure. Around my neck went a pink and white beaded necklace. I saw it in her hand, unwilling to take it until she bumped my hand. I took the perfume and spritzed myself as directed, on my neck, elbows and wrists. I stood, then faced the mirror again. A girl stood there! A very cute girl as a matter of fact! The dress showed off my new figure quite nicely, and the hem at mid thigh on me showed off my long legs. The round neck showed nothing, yet the twin mounds of my breasts poked out hard against the dress. For some reason, and I would never admit this, I was proud of the way I looked.

"Have you selected a name for yourself? I'm quite certain that you don't want to be called Greg when you look like this!"

"Um…no, but…what about Grandma's name?"

"Lily? No…I don't think so Gregory. That's an older name. How about something more current? Something feminine."

I couldn't think of one. My brain went into vaporlock, and I was stuck.

"What about…Emily?"

"Not that!"

"Heather?"

"No chance!"

"Okay, how about Elizabeth?"

"Nope."

"That was your last chance dear. Your name will be Priscilla!"

"No way mom! Never!"

"Tell me then."

"Uuummm…Janet. Janet…Lynn."

"Wonderful! Let me get you a bag, and we'll be ready to go."

"Go?"

"Didn't I tell you? We're going to dinner at the club tonight! It must have slipped my mind."
Right. Slipped her mind. The woman never forgets anything! I sat in my room while she got ready, then she took my hand as we walked down the stairs and into the familyroom. Walking in heels wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Standing there in front of my father like this, now that was hard. I did not expect his reaction however.

"Holy Cow! Oops. Sorry. You look fantastic! I never imagined that you would look like this!"

"She is cute isn't she? Her name is Janet."

"Looking like this I'm sure that we'll have more than a few boys on our doorstep wanting to see her. I'll have to chase them away I guess."

"Dad!"

He smiled at me, laughed, then, when I didn't see Jill, he told me they sent her to our Aunt Mary's for the weekend. He motioned to the door, and I took my first step outside the house dressed as a girl. No fanfare, no jeering crowds, nothing but Mrs. Hansen. She was in her yard pruning her bushes. Much to my chagrin, mom introduced me to her. I got in the car as quickly as possible and dad drove us to the club. I expected a chorus of laughter, but not one person so much as gave me a strange look! Shiny eyes and quick smiles, but nothing else to make me think I had been discovered. Over dinner, Mom told me that in the morning she and I were going shopping.

"Jill is to small, and my clothes would not look right on you. You need panties and bras, a few slips, skirts and a few dresses as well as a makeup mirror, curling iron, brush and so on. Maybe, if I can find them, some real good breastforms, and of course, shoes. If we have time we'll stop and get your nails done as well."

There was nothing to say, so I didn't. I looked up and saw the Principal walking over! She actually looked nice. She wore a full length gown that flowed around her like a sea of mint green, and she wore makeup! I had never seen her wear so much as lipstick!

"Hello! I see you have one of our models with you!"

"Mary! So good to see you! This is Janet. Janet, stand up please so she can get a good look at you."

I stood and moved away from the table a bit, saw her smile, and swallowed hard.

"I never expected you to look so pretty my dear! Your gorgeous in fact!"

"Thank you Ma'am." I sat down as femininely as I knew how.

"I can see that this is going to work out even better than I planned, especially if the other girls look as pretty as you do!"

"Janet told us she has a bit over three months, and I can't see why we can't have her be as feminine as possible by then, why, she was really anxious when we got her dressed this afternoon!"

"I can see why! Well, see you on Monday Janet."

Mom was right, I was anxious about getting dressed as a girl, but she made it sound like I was eager, I wasn't. I was scared. But that's behind me now that the Principal has seen me. She knows what can be done, and she will expect it every day. I wasn't sure I could do it every day, but I didn't seem to have a choice.

"What about Jill? She'll ride me every chance she gets, and there is no doubt that she'll start a few rumors about me as well, regardless of what you say. She'll think she's safe at school, and be able to deny starting the rumors."

"Jill and I had a talk Janet. Unless she wants to go to school looking like a five year old, she'll keep her thoughts to herself. Even if she doesn't start any rumors, if I hear about them, she'll be in pinafores the next day and she knows it. At home she'll keep her mouth shut for the same reason."
Dad had covered that angle neatly. Jill had set him off about a year ago, and she went to school for a month, dressed like a five year old, including ruffled panties and extremely short dresses. I knew that she never wanted to do that again! Over dinner, talk never centered on my dressing as a girl, except once, when Mom once again told me that if a boy asked me out they had to meet him. For some reason that I cannot figure, they thought I would immediately start dating boys! I let it go because it was such a preposterous idea. I will admit that wearing the dress tended to make me move less like a boy. With no pockets I found out why women put their hands in their laps, and of course, that was the reason for the purse. Other than a wallet, I never did understand why the girls always carry so much in a purse, I mean, all I have is my wallet and my lipstick. When we got home, Mom reminded me that we were going shopping in the morning, and would help me get ready right after breakfast.

Expecting to wear the same dress, I was surprised when Mom gave me a pair of her slacks and a blouse to wear. I had to wear my penny loafers, but my hair was done just like the night before, and I had done my own makeup, with only one correction. Our very first stop was at her salon, where my nails were done, in acrylics by the way. I had no idea at the time just how hard they are to get off, and let the girl do her thing. The stylist trimmed and cut, put me in rollers again, then used some foul smelling concoction on me before she sat me under the dryer. Half and hour later, as she began to take the rollers out, I saw that my once soft brown hair had turned auburn in color! She brushed my hair out, then let me see the finished work. I looked perky! My hair had been curled and looked much the same as when Mom did it, except there was no part down the middle, and the curls looked a lot springier. My eyebrows, not that thick to start with, were plucked and arched, thinned out to a very feminine shape. Mom paid the bill, and as we walked out, I had that feeling again. You know the one. When you know that something has happened to you, but you're not sure what it is. Every time I moved my hands I saw the flash of soft red, my once stubby fingers now looked long and thin, like a girls, and I could feel the whisper of hair as it tickled my ears. That feeling was tickling my brain, yet I was afraid to examine it. I might not like what I found.

Mom and I went into a huge department store, and while I didn't expect to be singled out as a boy in a dress, the fear nagged at me with a constant drum in my mind. As we walked into the lingerie department, I was way over my head. I know what panties and a bra are, beyond that, not much. Two packages of panties, cotton, in assorted colors, then bras in peach, white and beige, size 36A. Mom let me pick them out myself, merely guiding my selections. Short slips for skirts and slightly longer slips for dresses, then another padded pantybrief. With girls my age all over the place, I thought we were done, then she saw the nightgowns, and told me to chose two. In a quick grab, I did my best, unwilling to stay there any longer than absolutely needed. We paid the bill, then went to the dress department where, again under her direction, I picked out three skirts with tops and blouses to match, then two dresses plus a suit. A pair of shorts, and of course a pair of slacks. In shoes I picked out white, beige and black flats, plus, at Mom's urging, black patent leather heels. As we walked down the main concourse she spied a small shop and we made a hard left into the store. Mom had let me pick out the clothes and shoes, but if I had resisted doing it, she would have, and there was no telling what would happen, or what she would select. It had been in my own best interest to pick them out myself, but now she could say that I had made the selections, and it would be true. Ah well.

My eyes saw them the minute we walked in. Boobs. But these boobs looked like they cut them off some girl! Flesh toned, they looked real just sitting on the shelf! Mom told the woman I needed a pair in size A, the fuller version of course. The woman handed them to mom, and she dragged me into the changing booth where I unbuttoned my blouse. Mom pushed one into each cup of the bra, removing the rolled up socks, smiled, then stuffed the socks on her purse. The bill was paid and we headed for the car. Having extra weight on my chest felt so different! With every step I felt them bounce a bit, then in the car, I felt them. Real. They felt so real it was scary. Mom merely smiled as she drove us home. I took everything to my room, and saw a vanity sitting in the corner! With a sigh I put everything in the closet or dresser, then changed into the new shorts. Yellow isn't my favorite color, and worse, these shorts were tight, and defined my groin in a way that made it look as if I was a girl! I left the blouse out, put my gym shoes on, and went to the kitchen.

"You look very nice with your hair that way Janet. But I can't begin to tell you how nice you look! It's like having another daughter!"

"Gee Mom, shucks and golly."

"Don't be sarcastic dear, it doesn't suit you. You look very nice and you know it."

"Put on a skirt and blouse for dinner tonight dear, Jill will be back, and she needs to see you looking really nice."

I was watching television when Jill got home, and she tore around the house looking for me. I was standing next to Mom when she walked in. The look on her face was worth it…I think.

"Holy shi…sorry! Wow! You don't look at all like I thought you would!"

"Jill, this is Janet. She'll be with us for a while, and I expect you to treat her as if she were a guest. I certainly hope you understand that."

"Sure."

"Good. Dinner will be in fifteen minutes."

Jill never said a word about how I was dressed, just that she thought I was cute. After the dishes were done, mom once again told me to go to my room and undress, then, as soon as I was standing there in my panties, she opened a bottle of some adhesive, and attached the breastforms directly to my chest! As she smoothed out the seam against my skin, I could look down and see it disappear, and it now looked like I had breasts of my own! I looked in the mirror and got that sinking feeling that was getting to be so familiar, but now I knew what had been bothering me. I realized that I liked the way I looked! More, I was beginning to like wearing a bra and panties, a skirt and lipstick. Mom told me to put a nightgown on and join them for popcorn. Not only was I starting to get used to this girl thing, well maybe I liked it I guess, but the minute I slipped the nightgown on and saw the twin points of my breasts through the thin material, I had to smile to myself. I carried the robe on my arm rather than wear it. It was time to shock little sister into silence.
I walked into the familyroom with my back straight, pushing those babies up and out. Dad was the first one I got a reaction from. He choked a bit, then Jill saw them and squealed, which is as far as I got before Mom gave me that "put the robe on or die" look. It was very quiet after that, but I'm sure that Mom would have to explain to dad how I managed to have two very real breasts on my chest. Jill could pound sand as far I cared. I wouldn't tell her, ever.

In the morning Mom told me to get ready on my own, and while I thought I could do makeup okay, hair was a different matter, But when I woke up, my hair almost popped into place on its own, which is when began to smell a rat. I had a perm! Or at least some form of one, which is why my hair looked so nice after sleeping on it! I wore the tan skirt with a pink blouse, pantyhose and beige flats, lipstick to match my nails of course, and to tweak everyone, some perfume. Gold earrings and a bracelet. My purse was tan, filled with my new wallet, the type women use, lipstick, and some tissue. Of course, I wore the padded pantybrief as well. No waist nipper. Today the fun would begin, and right after breakfast, I drove Jill and I to school.

"Their not going to believe this Janet. Hell, I don't believe it, and I saw you half naked last night! You'll have plenty of guys after you, so be careful!"

"Right!"

"Wait and see big sister, wait and see."

As I walked into the school, nobody gave me a second look, which only reinforced what I had already discovered. I looked good enough to go unnoticed as a girl. I went straight to the office, to stand inspection for the Principal. Bill was there with two others. Short, you would have thought he would look spectacular, but Steve, well, he looked simply gorgeous. Bill wore a simple jumper over a white blouse, and looked about average. Steve wore a sheath dress that was cut low enough to show the tops of his breasts. His skinny arms looked just right, and his hips were in proportion to the rest of him. But his face. Wow! He had done his blond hair by pulling it back and using a banana clip to hold it in place, then fluffed the whole thing out. He was grinning at me when I walked in. Now I knew why he wanted to do this so badly. It was obvious. He had done it before. Soon, the eight of us were there, and one by one, she checked us over until at last she came to Steve. Her eyes went a bit wide, but we said nothing as he smiled at her.
We all told her the names we had selected for ourselves, which she noted, then told us to go to class. Out of the eight of us, in looks, Steve would be number one, myself second I guess, then Tom. The rest all looked okay, more or less average. I went to my first class, walked in, and sat at my normal chair. As heads turned to stare at me, I saw my girlfriend Cathy, her eyes wide open, staring at me. All I could do was smile back. The teacher called roll of course, but asked for Janet when she got to me. That's how everyone found out the name I was using. After class, Cathy stopped me.

"What can I say? You look great Janet! I never would have guessed!"

"Thanks. I guess this means no going out until this is over?"

"Not even as two girls Janet! I have no intention of being the wall flower, and that's what I would be if you're around!"

It was like that all day. The eight of us did our best to fit in, and while some of the guys struggled with it, most kids, usually the girls, helped them out. Except Stephie and I. They left us alone. I took a few barbs about the way I looked of course, but the guys were more in awe than anything. Stephie told me we should corner one or two of them, kiss them, and spread that around! It sounded interesting, but I did not say yes or no. As the days went by I became accustomed to getting ready each day, my skills at hair and makeup growing better each day. Wearing a skirt or dress wasn't so bad, and I had plenty of guys staring at me. Cathy says it's because they want to ask either Stephie, Tina, (once Tom), or myself out, but were scared. On Saturday afternoon the phone rang and I answered it.

"Janet?"

"Yes?"

"This is…um Ben. I was wondering if you would…what I mean is, there's that dance, and I was um…wondering if you would go with me?"

"Ben, you know who I am right?"

"Uh…yah, why?"

"Ben, I'm not a girl!"

"Yah, I know that, but you look so…Stephie is going, she going with Stan."

"I see."

Did I see? For two weeks now I had stayed at home on the weekends, and wanted to get out. Now Ben had asked me out! Had I turned into enough of a girl that I would go? Or was I still a wuss? After all, what can he and I do to get into trouble?
Well, alright. What time?"

"Six?"

"I'll be ready, bye."

I had a date! And not just a date, but with Ben! Only the most popular guy in school, and certainly has had every girl in school after him! Why did I ever say yes? What have I done?!

"Who was that dear?"

"Ben Mother. He asked me out to the dance tonight."

"And…?"

"He'll be here at six to pick me up! Mother! What have I done?"

"You thought like a girl dear. You better go get ready. I'll fix you something to eat."

I changed into the short green skirt with a white pullover top and my white flats, did my makeup, brushed my hair, and smiled at my reflection. I did look good dammit! Why should I stay at home? I added perfume and red lipstick, "fluffed up" my boobs, and went to eat. I sat across from Mom who was grinning.

"What!"

"You're quite pretty Janet. I just wanted you to know that."

"Uhhuh."

"Just be careful honey. Boys have only one thing on their tiny minds."

"Silicone and foam rubber? That's what he'll get mother!"

"That presupposes he gets that far, which is out of bounds and you know it!"

"Mother!"

She laughed again and patted my hand. I finished just as Ben rang the bell. As ordered, I had him meet my mother, then he took my hand and we went out to his car. He took my hand? What am I doing? He was smiling as he drove to the dance, then as we walked in, he put his arm around my waist. Without being rude, how could I stop him, and worse, I didn't want to stop him. I no longer felt like a boy in a dress, and nobody treated me like one. All of the girls seemed to have accepted us into their ranks as equals, while almost every boy deferred to us like they would any girl. Bill had gotten really good lately, and with the name Betty, had become quite popular. Ben swept me onto the dance floor and pulled me to him, holding me there as we moved across the floor easily. I could smell his aftershave, see the hairs on his chest, and felt his hand in the middle of my back. I felt like a girl, and knew it. I know that was the exact moment I decided to quit fighting it. If I thought I was a girl, then I would be. Ben thinks of me like one anyway. In the darker recesses of the gym, he lowered his head and let his lips touch mine. He smiled while I struggled to agree with myself.
I saw Cathy with another guy, and saw her wave at me. Stephie was with Stan, and Betty was firmly in the grasp of Sam, our six footer. An odd couple, but both of them were smiling and I put it out of my mind. Ben and I joined Cathy and Fred as soon as the music stopped.

"You two belong together the way you dance, It's like watching one person."

"Thanks Cathy, but I have to convince Janet of that first."

"What?" I asked, again pushing the stupid button.

"Becoming one person silly! You and Ben belong together and you know it!"
Ben pulled me away and Cathy lost her target, me. Out on the dance floor again we stayed there for several numbers, then had a soft drink. I saw Sam holding Betty in his arms, his lips firmly planted on hers, looked over at Stephie, and saw her smiling at Stan. Is this what happens when you wear a dress? Ben squeezed my hand, and when I looked at him he kissed me again, but not lightly. It was hard to imagine nobody saw me put my arms around him when he did that, but that didn't matter right then. We stayed almost to the end, then he took me home. Right in front of my house he took me into his arms and smiled at me.

"I know that under all this is a guy I used to know, but dammit Janet, you don't look, walk, act, talk or smell like any guy I know, and you turn me on like a light! Come on, admit it. You like being a girl, don't you?"

"I have to go in Ben, thanks for the fun night out."

"Janet…"

His lips touched mine, then I felt his tongue against mine. I did not resist as he kissed me, but when we broke, I opened the door and ran inside the house. I went right to bed and stayed there until Mom came in about nine the next morning. She asked me if I was all right, which is when I broke out in tears. Big, sobbing, yank from the soul tears. Through the tears and sobs, I told her what had happened. How he had kissed me, and that I liked it. I liked it! I'm a guy, not some scared little girl! Mom held me in her arms, then asked me one question.

"Why did you think that boys would not be attracted to you?"

"Because I'm a boy, not a girl Mother, and Ben knows that!"

"Maybe, but he does not see a boy in a dress dear, he sees a really beautiful girl, you. Let me ask you this, what has your Father called you the last few
days?"

"Janet?"

"No dear. Princess. He has been calling you his Princess. You must be able to see that even your Father thinks of you as a girl now. Why shouldn't the boys at school? Didn't you tell me that Stephie must have been doing this for a long time? And hasn't she snagged a boyfriend?"

"Betty too."

"See! What's so special about you that you think you wouldn't be drawn into womanhood?"

"I liked it mother. Ben is tall and handsome, smart and hairy, and I liked it when he kissed me!"

"Don't let it worry you honey. I like hairy men too. Now get some clothes on and come eat."

Great. Now mom was agreeing with that voice in my head! I cleaned up and got dressed in some shorts and a top. I skipped the bra. Mom didn't say a word about it except to tell me to finish getting dressed after breakfast. Stephie called a little later and told me that Tina, Betty and herself would be over in an hour. I went up and put a bra on, added some lipstick, then helped do the dishes. They arrived soon after that. Mom had not seen any of the guys dressing as a girl except me, and when I introduced them to her, I could tell by the look on her face that she was clearly shaken by the way they looked. We all went up to my room. We all sat there for a moment staring at each other, until, at last, Stephie spoke up.

"We, all of us, know that we like dressing as girls, so why don't we just cut to the chase and admit it? Look at us. We all have boyfriends now, and nobody even thinks of us as boys wearing a dress any more!"

"But the guys know that this is just temporary!"

"Is it? Janet, you know it isn't! Let me tell you the truth. I have been dressing as a girl since I was little, and now that I can do it every day, I'm not going to quit. I'm going to stay as Stephanie when this is over."

"We all knew that Stephie." Tina sounded glad in a way.

"Betty, why is Sam always around you? Is he a good kisser? Where did you two go after the dance?"

Betty turned a bright red, started to speak, then waved her hand no.

"And Tina. You and Matt seem real tight lately, and is that his ring on a chain? What does that say?"

Stephie turned back to me. "Janet, you and Ben make a cute couple and he likes you a lot. We all saw you two playing kissy face the other night, so what makes you think that you'll be able to go back and pick up where you left off? Cathy is seeing Fred now because you and Ben are an item. Listen, those girls have seen us with our guys, kissing them and so on, and they can draw a natural conclusion. We like being girls. If we can kiss them, we can also do other things, just like the other girls do, and they will probably avoid us like the plague if we ever went back to being boys again."
Stephie had said what we had all thought about. She had spoken the words aloud for the first time, and they hit me like a hammer. We all knew she liked being a girl, and I would bet that Stan really enjoyed their date the other night. As we looked at each other, I saw on their faces, and felt one on my own, a smile growing until we were all laughing. The truth had been spoken, and we had all agreed on the obvious.

"What now? If what you think will happen does, where does that leave us? On the outside Stephie. You're right about Sam and I. He likes me this way, and I like the way he treats me. I guess I don't want to give that up. For me, I never dated before this because I was concerned about how tall I am, but now, it doesn't seem to be a problem, does it? My parents might not like it, but I'm going to stay on as Betty when this is all over. Anyone else besides Stephie and me?"

I looked at Tina and saw that glow in her eye, then, the slow nod of her head. It was time for the truth. I'm pretty sure my Mom figured it out, especially after Ben showed up to pick me up. I can tell by the tone in her voice and the way she looks at me. Cathy is dating Fred, which effectively kills our relationship, Dad, well, like mom says, he has been calling me Princess for a week now, and Jill has quit looking for a way to get at me with some kind of snide remark. I thought about how I viewed myself now. Like my friends, I like being a girl. Other than the extra time it takes to get ready every day, I like the scent of my perfume, the taste of the lipstick, the swish of nylons against my legs and the sway of my skirts. I also like the way my breasts feel when I walk, the little bounce they have, and of course, the attention Ben gives me. I slowly but surely nodded my head yes. By a vote of 100 percent, we all agreed, then we decided to tell the Principal the day before the fashion show. We moved to the patio and had soft drinks, then, after they had left, Mom wanted to talk to me.

"You have all decided to remain as girls haven't you?"

Why is it that Mothers always know what's going on? Did she listen at the door or what? Her eyes went a little gray as she waited for me to confirm her suspicions. I nodded my head yes, then…

"I can't give it up Mother. I think you already knew that too."

"I suspected, but I wanted to hear it from you. Can you tell me why?"

I tried, I really did, but no matter what I said it sounded inane and silly. The feelings I had inside eluded my best efforts at description, and I waited for her to say no. I did not want to argue with her about this, because she could force me back into pants just as quickly as she put me into dresses. I did not mention how Ben made me feel.

"Okay, but you have the rest of this year and all of next before you graduate Janet. That's a long time. What about after that? College, a job, and so on? Will you do that as a woman as well?"

I didn't think that far in advance! I looked at her and shrugged my shoulders, as if to say "I don't know", hoping that she could help me.

"If, and this is a big if, your Principal agrees to it, we will let you continue as a girl, however we will have to change you name legally, then we will see a doctor. A girl should have her own boobs Janet. I'm sure the ones you have now are fine, but Ben will want more sooner or later won't he?"

"Dad?"

"Your Father already knows honey. We knew about a week ago. We could see it in everything you did. The way you acted so much like a girl, even the way you react around your Father. All of it told us that you liked being a girl, then, when you went out with Ben, well, it was a sure bet. If you had seen your face when he walked in the house you would understand Janet. You lit up and had a smile on your face we never saw very often before. When did you intend to tell everyone?"

"The day before the fashion show, why?"

"I was just wondering, that's all."
I dropped any pretenses I had erected, and simply became Janet after that. That internal struggle I had been having with myself every time I felt extremely feminine stopped, and I simply accepted my new role. It was well known that some of the guys were getting on Sam, Ben, Matt, and Stan for dating us, but they all managed to ignore, or absorb the barbs. Not many would mess with Sam anyway, but the whisper campaign was at full throttle and there wasn't a thing we could do about it. It was Tina that called a short meeting at lunch time, and told us about a site on the Internet we should visit, and explained what she saw there. That night I checked for myself, saw a number if things that would make life easier for me, and asked Mom to look at it too. In full agreement, she and I printed out the instructions, and the next day she and I followed them to the letter and ordered to item. Three days they said it would take, and it was a very long three days as I waited. Betty, Tina, and Stephie all ordered the same items. Mom was ready when I got home that day, and she wasn't smiling.

"Did you know what you can do if you're wearing this?"

"I read everything you did Mom, sure I know. I put it on, and I am able to function as a female, which means I'll have to sit all the time for everything. What's the big deal with that?"

"Nothing! But we misread the instructions Janet. When they said function as a female, they meant in every way!"

My stupid button was engaged again, and I didn't get it, so Mom told me. I hadn't planned on that option, but as long as I had it…

"I'll let you wear it, but I want none of that monkey business Janet, and I mean it!"
Of course, I agreed, and she and I carefully slipped the panty up my legs, seated my penis into the sleeve, then, when it was all the way on, she used the adhesive in all of the seams. An exact match to my skin color, I looked in the mirror and saw myself with a vagina for the first time. My hips were rounder and fuller, I now had the small pouch just under my belt line, and a thin slit to define myself. With my breastforms, I now looked like a naked girl! With the panty I no longer needed the padded pantybrief, and could wear anything any other girl could wear, including a swimsuit! I got dressed, helped make dinner, then drove over to see Stephie. Her eyes were glowing, so I was sure hers had arrived as well, and we played show me to great gales of giggling and hugging. The next day we found out Tina and Betty had theirs as well, so we decided to ask the sponsor to included a bikini for each of us. Tina said she would talk to them after school and pick out the suits.

Cathy no longer talked to me like I was a boy in a dress, but had begun to talk to me like a girlfriend, telling me about Fred and so on. Not to be left out, I told her about Ben. That is the moment I knew that I had been accepted, by the girls anyway. The fashion show was a week away, and all of us had to go to the store to be fitted for the gowns we would be modeling. Our Principal was there with the store owner and some of our mothers, including mine. His reaction when he saw us was to ask where the boys were. We all giggled at that, then, without a word, Stephie grabbed a dress and went into a changing booth. It was plain that he had selected low cut gowns, which we had thought he might do, and we were prepared. I wore a corselet under my clothes for example. Stephie simply went bra less. When she stepped out of the changing booth the reaction on his face was worth the whole effort. Stephie looked stunning in a shimmering white sheath dress that hung against her like it was sprayed on. I don't think she had anything else on except her shoes. I wore a short cocktail dress that was royal blue. My breasts were hiked up pretty good in that outfit. Tina wore a short sheath dress, Betty a summer jumper. After that, he sat there and simply watched as one after another we stepped out wearing the clothes assigned to us.

Then it came to the bikinis. The one Tina handed me was yellow with tiny polka dots on it. I took it and slipped it on, tying the strings as tight as I could. I stepped out first and drew a gasp from all of the staff, the Principal and the owner. I paraded back and forth a few times, showing them that there wasn't anything inside that suit but a girl. Smiling I stood next to mom, then Stephie, Tina, and Betty stepped out of their booths. All of the bikinis Tina had selected were the kind that had a narrow rise in the front with a modest panty in the back, the bra cups merely there. All of the adults were staring at us as we stood there, then, Mr. Becker clapping, and soon everyone was. The Principal asked the four of us to meet her in her office the next morning, we got dressed, and went home.

"That was some show you girls put on. Can I assume that was on purpose?"

"What better way is there for us to define who we are now? Those bikini's don't leave a lot of room for doubt; was there any indication that any of us were boys?"

"Of course not! But you planned it that way, and it worked. Mr. Becker was shocked so much that we had to convince him that you are all boys. I'm not sure he believed us, but he won't stop the show because he has doubts. Maybe you girls can figure out a way to convince everyone you're still boys. I can assure you that there will be a lot of people that won't believe it."

"I'll think about it Mother."

The next morning, as we stood in front of her desk, our Principal stared at us, then began to laugh!
"You girls really had Mr. Becker going. He didn't believe that you are boys at first, and it took a lot to convince him otherwise! You have all become so feminine that everyone now thinks of you as girls, which brings me to the next question. Do any of you plan on remaining girls when this is over?"
Without a thought I raised my hand, as did the others.

"I guess I better make the changes in your records then. You may want to consider finding a way to expose your maleness during the show girls. If Mr. Becker is right, a lot of people will have serious doubts about your gender, and given that we have advertised the models as boys, well, that's a problem right now isn't it?"

"We'll find a way Ma'am."

Later that day, together we figured out a way to make sure everyone would believe us, but none of us liked it much.
On the morning of the show I went to the salon and had my hair and nails done, then I went home and got ready for the show. I told mom what I planned on doing, and she agreed to bring the items I needed. I wore a skirt and blouse to the arena, then joined everyone backstage to get ready for the show. The schedule called for me to be first in every rotation, and I hurried to put on the summer suit with a nice hat and gloves. One after another we paraded down the runway, stopping, turning, then walking back to end with a flourish and then a quick change. When it came time for the swimsuits, which was last, Mom helped tie the strings, I stepped into the yellow sandals, and to the oldie "She wore a yellow polka dot bikini", I strutted down the runway slowly, stopped, bent over so that everyone got a good boob shot, turned, and walked back and off stage. There were a lot of gasps when I bent over, but I had to do it to set up the rest. Betty, Tina, and Stephie all did the same thing. The minute I stepped off stage, mom used the remover and took the breastforms off my chest, cleaned them and me, and slipped them back into the bra. I waited until everyone was ready, then the four of us stepped out on stage, and as one, pulled our breastforms out of our swimsuits, and untied the strings. As the material fluttered to the floor, the applause rose to a crescendo, and we stood there soaking it up. We were joined by the other four members of our little troupe, then ran off stage.

Mom, Mr. Becker, and the lady that was in charge of the clothes were waiting for us.

"We have one more outfit for each of you. Go into your booth and someone will help you get dressed."

I followed mom, and the minute we were alone she reattached my breastforms, then helped me into a wedding dress! It was huge, with a hoop skirt, fitted bodice, and a low cut lace trimmed top. I changed into the white satin shoes Mom had ready, then came the veil. I stepped out and saw betty, Tina, and Stephanie wearing Bridesmaids gowns! I heard the music, the curtain opened, and I walked slowly down the runway with my friends right behind me. We were a hit, and we knew it. I almost glowed like a bride as the applause cascaded over us. I stopped at the end of the runway, ready to turn, when I felt a hand in mine. It was Ben! As he led me around the circle, I saw Matt, Stan and Sam, each holding the hand of his girl! I felt like crying. They escorted us off stage, then, when the curtain closed, Ben slowly lifted the veil and kissed me, right in front of everyone! Even those little old ladies were crying. Mom broke us up and I went to change. As Mom unzipped my gown she whispered in my ear that she had another gown for me to wear.

I stepped out of the booth not in a skirt and blouse, but a fitted white cocktail dress. I still wore the white satin heels and the veil. Ben stood there glowing when he saw me, proud and handsome in his tuxedo. He took my hand in his, then escorted me to a waiting limousine which took us to the best restaurant in town. As we walked in the place erupted in applause! A waiter escorted us to a table where Jill, my parents, Mr. Becker and his wife waited. The other girls had been treated the same, and we were all soon seated near each other. Mr. Becker got up and toasted our ability, apologized for doubting us, then gave us the outfits we had on plus the bikinis and a $500 gift certificate to his store! One by one he handed each of us our gifts, then sat down. The Principal stood up and told everyone that we had performed in an exemplary manner, and had upheld the true meaning of winning in a challenging problem. Then she told everyone we would be continuing in school as girls. As the hush fell over the tables, her eyes swelled up and a tear slowly formed then ran down her cheek.

"These young ladies have taken their challenge so much to heart that they have become the girls they had hidden inside. We cannot, and will not try to determine if they are right or wrong, that is their choice. But, all of them have exemplified what it means to be a woman. I wanted to teach them a lesson, but they have taught me one. Every day for over three months they have done nothing but try to become the best female they knew how to be, and have set a standard many of the other girls cannot reach! Beauty, manners, good humor and class define these young ladies, and if anyone doubts that, just look at the young men that clamored to be their escorts tonight. I would be proud to call any of them my daughter."

As she sat down the room went silent for a moment, then the thin strains of a waltz started in the background. My Father took my hand and pulled me up, walked me to the dance floor and enveloped me in his arms. As he moved across the floor I followed him, smiling, knowing that I had it all now. Soon, every Father of every girl was dancing with his new daughter. Then Ben asked Mother to dance, Jill and her boyfriend got up, and soon the party began.

"Like her, I'm proud to call you a daughter Janet. I love you."

"Thanks Dad, I love you too."

That summer my name was legally changed to Janet Lynn, and I found a way to please Ben. Jill soon forgot about my previous status, and began to borrow my clothes. I still have that original list of names in my scrapbook, right in there with the pictures from the show. I especially like the one with Ben and I together, me in a wedding dress of course.

Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]

Is it a Costume

I never felt more alive, the softness of the clothing making me swoon in delight; I had never experienced anything like that before, so you could safely say that I was both confused and excited at the same time. I had never dressed up as a girl before, so I was unfamiliar with the inherent thrill it caused. As I looked in the mirror I saw my mother behind me, and she was smiling!

"I just knew that you would look absolutely darling as a girl! Don't you think I was right?"

"Yeah, I guess" I said, not wanting to let on that I liked it, a lot, well, maybe more than I should have anyway.

"I'll bet that nobody will know you! They'll think your just a girl without a costume!"

"No way mom! Everybody will know as soon as I open my mouth!"

"Just talk a bit softer, and don't forget to use your hands and arms a lot; oh, and don't kiss any boys!"

"As if" I said with a grin.

The costume party was being held at a local hall rented to that purpose by a local ladies club to which my mother was a member; that's why I was invited to attend. It was mom's idea for me to go as a girl, since cowboys and spacemen were, in her words, "getting trite and over done". I did not oppose her suggestion, but I should mention that it was the very first time I had dressed up as a girl, and in all of my 18 years, it had never even occurred to me to try it.

At first it seemed tedious, all that hair removal, shaving, and lotions, but my skin did come out of that ordeal feeling very soft, and a lot smoother than I anticipated or imagined. Then came the clothes. Mom had most likely bought them, but the panties were snug, and after rearranging my parts, I had a reasonably smooth front. The padded pantybrief added curves where I had none, like my hips and butt, and the padded bra with the gel inserts, gave me just enough boobs that my shape was that of a young girl. Maybe a smallish B cup mom told me. Pantyhose, a slip, then the dress, which was a pullover sheath style in a bright red. The shoes were also red, about three inches high, with a strap that went around my ankle.

Using an apron, mom covered the dress, then talked me through the makeup. Light foundation, some powder, eyeshadow and eyeliner, then mascara, blusher and finally, the lipstick. The wig was shoulder length, sort of a very light brown that was almost blond. Earrings, a necklace, and a bracelet completed my getting dressed up, except for the perfume which mom insisted that I wear. When I was ready, she went into her room and began to get changed, leaving me time to check myself out in the mirror.

Having seen the entire transformation, I was still stunned by how feminine I looked! I did not look anything like the old me in any way! I had great legs, a more than convincing shape, and a pretty face! If I saw a girl that looked like that I would have hit on her! I smiled at my reflection, which opened my face and if anything, made me look even better. I put my wallet, a brush, my lipstick and car keys in my purse, and walked out to wait for mom to appear. She was going as Wonder Woman. She had the figure for it, and I knew that she would look great, but when she walked out, she looked spectacular!

"Damn mom! You look really good!"

"So do you honey!" She stepped a bit closer, then… "You'll need a girls name, have you one you like?"

"Um… I hadn't thought about it, but how about something simple? Like… ahhhh…. Grace?"

"Okay, Grace it is; just remember to answer to that name, because that's what I'll call you, okay?"

"Sure mom."

As we walked into the hall I just know that every head turned, mom looked so good that I was sure that she was a winner even before they cast the votes, and by the look on the guys faces, I thought I was right. I had no idea that they might be looking at me. We found our assigned table and sat down, soon to be joined by several others. One kid was dressed as a cowboy, another was a construction worker. The guy dressed like a construction worker sat next to me.

"Hi" he said, "I'm John."

"Grace" I said using a softer tone in my voice like mom told me.

"No costume?" He asked

Surprised that he did not realize that I was a boy, I forgot completely how I looked… "I'm ah… a secretary" I said.

"A very pretty one too!"

"Thank you!"

We met all the others, then we all stood up when our table was called for the buffet dinner. John was behind me as I walked across the hard floor, my heels sounding very loud as they clicked when I stepped down, but I remained calm as we filtered through the line. During dinner jokes were told, comments about the costumes we could see were made, and then, right after dinner, the band started playing. I gathered up my plates to put them in the trash, taking Johns as well. On the way back he met me about halfway, slipped his arm around my waist, and asked me to dance!

"Oh, I'm a terrible dancer! I'll step all over your feet!"

"I'm wearing steel toed boots Grace, you can't hurt me, so lets give it a whirl."

With that, he took my hand and I found myself dancing with him! Never having danced with a guy before, I was very concerned that I would do something wrong, but, I managed to follow him reasonably well, and he said nothing about my ineptness. After the dance, and just as we were about to sit down,…..

"Honey" mom said, "lets go fix our lipstick." I followed her into the ladies room, only slightly concerned. "John has taken a liking to you Grace, so be careful. I know that he's handsome and very hunky, but…."

"Mother! I'm not…. He can't think that I'm a…. besides…."

"I know that you're not looking for a boyfriend honey, but he's obviously looking for a girlfriend, and you are a very lovely girl, so, in his mind, why not?! All I'm saying is be careful!"

"You can count on that!"

After we repaired our lips, we went back to the table, only John once again wanted to dance, and once again I found myself out on the dance floor. Just about the only good things were that he had not figured out that I was a guy like him, and he was taller than me, even in heels. If nothing else, I was normal height for a girl when I was next to him. As we went around the dance floor I realized that in order to win, I would have to unmask myself, and after dancing with John, I did not want to risk being pummeled into the floor. He was taller, wider, and stronger, all the attributes girls wanted in a guy, while I was, sadly, able to look like a girl with what I thought was a minimum of effort. With an internal sigh, I resigned myself to enjoying the party without competing.

Mom came in second to a belly dancer, but won $100 anyway. As we were leaving….

"Janet! I'm surprised that you didn't win! You look fantastic in that outfit!"

"Thanks Doreen. This is Grace, my… ah… daughter."

"With genes like your mothers you shouldn't have any trouble finding the right guy Grace, you're a very pretty girl!"

I was about to answer when John walked up. "Hi Aunt Doreen! Have you met Grace?"

"Just now as a matter of fact! I saw you two dancing out there, and you two looked like you're made for each other!" She paused, then said… "I'm having a get together Saturday, two weeks from now at the cabin. Maybe you and Grace would like to come?"

Mom was about to answer when John looked at me, and… "Please say you'll come Grace! I'll take you out on the lake in the boat… it's really nice at the lake, and I, uh, would like you to come."

I looked at mom, pleading for her to say no, but…. "I'll have to check the calendar Doreen. I'll have to call and let you know, is that okay?"

"Of course!"

John squeezed my hand just before we left for home. On the way I told mom that I couldn't go to the lake.

"I'd have to wear shorts, and maybe a swimsuit, and I don't think that I should even try!"

"I don't believe that! All you need is a pair of girls shorts and a nice top; I'm not saying that you should go, I wouldn't do that to you, but it does sound like a fun afternoon, and it's not like you'll be running off with John to get married!"

"So… you're saying that I should try it?!"

"No dear. What I'm saying, if you remember, you were introduced to Doreen as my daughter! I said that because I knew that you didn't want John to find out that he had been dancing with another boy all evening, and it was my way of trying to protect you! It was all I could think of! I did not realize that it might cause you a problem, but now everyone thinks you're my daughter, and they certainly know where we live! That's why I'm saying that maybe a day at the lake wouldn't be so difficult for you, if you take the time to do it right, like you did today."

"But if I go, then John will be convinced that I'm a girl!"

"That's a good point, but unless you simply say that you can't go, which is also an option, then you'll just have to do what all girls do! Just let him down gently! If you decide to go, don't let him get under your skin, just have a nice time, but make it very clear that you're not interested! Most guys get the message, and quit calling, or in this case, asking you out!"

"Maybe, but ah…. my boobs are just so much fluff, and I couldn't wear anything that might be ah… show my lack of um… boobs, like a swimsuit!"

"I get it Grace. You need better boobs, and I agree, especially if you need to wear a swimsuit! If you want to do this, you need to tell me!"

"I'm betting that I don't have a choice mom. If I say no, he'll just call me until I see him again and I'll be in the same fix I'm in now, unless I want to tell him the truth, which I can't do, not now, not after you told them I was your daughter! I know you meant well, but what now? And if I do go to the lake, that will only confirm that I really am a girl! Mom, this is not good! For either of us! If your friends find out what that I'm not a girl, after you told them I am, you'll be on the outs, and if I say anything, I'll probably get killed!"

"I agree, it's a problem, which I admit I created, because I didn't think ahead, but I think you're right; it does sound to me like you have decided to try it, right?"

"I guess" I said, slowly, unsure of what I was getting myself into, "I don't think I have a choice!"

"Then the only thing to do is go out tomorrow and see what we can find in the way of something that's affordable and acceptable, if you want to do this I mean, and we'll see about getting you some better boobs and maybe some better padding, some shorts and a swimsuit. But you have to realize that you're the only one that can let him down. I can't do that for you, it has to be you. Is that what you're thinking too?"

"I don't have a choice do I?"

With that statement, I opened the door to the unknown. I wasn't actually against dressing up as a girl, I knew that I looked okay, it was all that other stuff that was getting in the way. Like guys; John in particular. If I were a girl I would have eagerly accepted his offer, but as a guy dressed like a girl, I had to be very careful, unless I wanted to let everyone know the truth. As an attorney, mom relied on her contacts and her word, so people trusted that what she said was true. If it came out that she lied about me, even if there was a good reason for it, there might be some kind of disrepute attached to her name; that led me to only one conclusion. I was, like it or not, about to become a girl once again.

After I cleaned up, mom casually mentioned that maybe it would be a good idea if I simply dressed like a girl every day, from then until the party at the lake. Her reasoning was simple. At the costume party it didn't really matter, because it was a costume. But by accepting an offer to go to the lake, I had tacitly confirmed that I was a female, and had to walk, talk, and act like one if I had any hope of pulling it off, and the best way was to practice. I knew she was right, but dressing as a girl every day?

"I know what you think; that if you don't do this that people won't trust me again, but I can explain this all away, so don't worry about me! Worry about how you're going to let John down, if you can that is."

"What does that mean, if I can?"

"He is very attractive, and no matter what, Doreen was right. You do make a lovely couple!"

"I'm not a girl!"

"Yes, but you really don't want to say that, do you? Maybe you like the way you look? Is that it? Did you find out that you like the way you look as a girl? Is that it?" When I said nothing… "So!" she suddenly said, "that's it! You're just putting up a front! You like dressing as a girl, and you simply don't want to say so!"

"No…mom! It's not like that! It's just that I never… what I mean is, you know how your clothes feel, soft and… and sexy, and you know how I look both ways, so…. what I mean is, as a girl, I look… good? You even said so yourself! And you certainly know that was the first time I ever dressed up like a girl!"

"Lets not worry about the why" she said, "lets just make sure that you can pass a close inspection, okay?"

With that, my fate was sealed, only I had no clue about what could happen, not at the time. I knew that I wasn't Gay, and I certainly wasn't eager to try anything like that, but mom was right. If I had to dress as a girl, then the best way to stay out of trouble was to look the best I could. Mom had not exactly led me by the nose to that point, all she did was lay out the possibilities and leave it to me. When she discovered that I didn't really mind dressing up, and I finally agreed to become a girl, full time for at least a while, it all began. It would start the next day, and last for at least two weeks. As I sat there I realized that I could end the charade at any time by simply telling her; so, the only question for me was, did I want to try it. Any fool can put on a dress, but he would probably look stupid or clownish; if I did it, I knew that there wasn't any way that I was going to allow myself to look stupid. I cannot say that I didn't like the way I looked as a girl, in fact it was just the opposite. I did like it. But I was also convinced that my best protection would only come if I looked perfect. To this day I do not know why I felt that way, but somewhere in my mental gyrations, I must have talked myself into it, because I went online to see what was available to make a guy look like a gal.

I was overwhelmed by the number of places that carried stuff to do just that, but I quickly pared the list down to a few, then began to carefully check out what they offered. Complete with pictures, one site offered a full range of products, including a panty that they swore made a guy look and feel like a girl! When I saw those pictures, I reached the crossroads of my dilemma. If I were determined enough to look good and feel safe at he same time, and their products were as good as they said they were, then it would eliminate any questions I had about being able to pull it off. I was going to do it because I was either very curious, or I liked being a girl more than I previously thought. I called. That's when they told me that they had a store not far away from the house! I made an appointment, for Monday morning. Unless I cancelled, I was about to become Grace, full time for a full two weeks. I wondered if I was crazy.

A bit later that night I told mom that we could go shopping, but I would rather wait until after Monday. I did not tell her why, except to say that I found a place that sold really good breast forms and was going to check them out. She gave me her credit card.

"Are you really sure about this? I mean, you can play dress up at home all you like! You don't have to prove anything to me, and certainly not anyone else!"

"I'm not trying to prove anything mom! I have to know if what I felt earlier, when I got dressed up for the party is going to be the same every day! I never felt like that before, and maybe you're right. Maybe I do like it more than I think, and maybe I don't, but either way, I have to know, right?"

"I'm not sure what you mean honey, but if you feel that strongly about it, my only advice is that you do your very best. Being a woman isn't easy, it's a mans world out there, and you won't be able to do many of the things you take for granted now, so, even though we're only talking about two weeks, be prepared for some very serious culture shock."

On Sunday night I once again went over my body carefully, removing the few hairs that had popped out, then used the skin lotion again. As I lay in the tub, I knew that mom wasn't the least bit worried about her reputation, she was worried about me doing something really stupid, but if the people at the store were right, by the time I left the shop I would not look like a boy. I knew it was crazy, silly even, to think that a boy could fool so many people for so long, but after experiencing all those sensations when I was dressed up, I had to know if it was a one time thing, or if I liked being a girl more than I first realized.

The next day I went, as myself, to the local mart and bought a package of panties, some pantyhose, a pair of flats, and a pair of cargo shorts. They're shorts, but shorter than normal without being hot pants. Then I went home to do some more research. By the time I was done, I knew more about what was happening than I thought possible! Like the fact that many of my "sisters" lived and worked as women, even though they were still male! I wondered in an off hand sort of way if I could do that. Probably not.

On Monday morning I began to get ready, with no help from my mother. I had to learn how to do it myself anyway, so why not start? I carefully did my makeup the way I did it on the day of the party, slipped on the new shorts and a top, then stepped into my new flats and grabbed my purse. Mom was gone by then, so she did not see me as I sauntered out to the car, then drove away. The shop wasn't very big, which concerned me, but I went in anyway, and told the lady that I had an appointment, and was taken into the back.

"I can see that you're nervous dear, sit down and tell me all about it."

Her calm, grandmotherly voice allowed me to relax a bit, and out it came, from the moment I first shaved the hair off, to dancing with John, right up to my being there. I didn't skip a thing, and she never interrupted. When I was done she took my hand and smiled.

"It sounds like you're confused, but want to experience what it's like to be a girl, full time, at least for a while, right? I can help you do that, I'm very good at it, but if you're going to be wearing swimsuits and maybe even sexy lingerie, then you'll want the best, only it's expensive, and once you have it on, when I'm done with you I mean, you'll be committed for at least six months. Are you prepared to do this for that long a time?"

"Six months!?"

"At the very least, but if you're seeking the truth, trying to find out what is best for you, then the only way to find out, to make positively sure, is to live the life for at least that long! And if that's the case, the way to go is the best, and I, my dear, have the very best! Think of it this way. If, at the end of say…. three months, you decide that it's not for you, come in and I can remove the breast forms. I can't remove the panty that soon, but without breasts, you'll look the way you did before you walked in here. You'll just have to sit down to eliminate."

Six months was a very long time, but since I could always go back to being myself, at least look like it anyway, I decided that I was going to try it, and told her that. Once I did, she was all business. I had to get naked, but once she had the molds, it only took a few hours for her to create a pair of breasts forms that looked very real, and once attached, it looked like I grew them! The panty was very special, and it took both of us to get me into it without hurting me, but wow! I looked in the mirror and saw what looked like a naked 18 year old girl, right down to the exclamation point in my groin! I gently felt everything, and knew that there was no way that anyone could say that I was a boy. I got dressed, sans the padded pantybrief because I no longer needed it.

My bra held the breasts tightly yet let them bounce a bit, and I suddenly had cleavage! I paid the bill and left the shop, the sensation of bouncing boobs, and the weight on my chest tugging at me with every step was an unexpected thrill that I wasn't prepared for, and yet, I cannot describe why I felt that way. With nothing between my legs, I found it much easier to put my knees together, and the tapering, from my waist to my groin, created the telltale Y of a female. I went home and once again undressed so I could stare at my new body. Rounder hips, fuller bottom, B cup breasts that looked pert with just a bit of sag, "just like normal" the lady had told me. I ran my finger down the crease in my groin, letting it slip in a bit, just to assure myself that she was telling me the truth.

I pulled on the panties, left the bra on the bed, and put the shorts back on. Then I slipped a tee over my head. Without a bra, you could see my nipples poking out! Not that big, yet they were there, and that was all I wanted mom to see. I tugged the shorts even higher, making the center seam fall into my new crease, but did not keep that look. It made me feel sleazy. I brushed out the wig, redid my lipstick, and waited for mom to get home. I was just sitting there when she walked in, and when I stood up….

"Grace! Look at you! You look fabulous!"

"Yeah, that lady did a great job. They're molded from my own chest, and fit me perfectly! They even look real! Want to see?" Without waiting for and answer, I pulled up my tee. "See? They look real don't they?"

"I wouldn't have known unless you told me! I wasn't even aware they made anything like that!"

"I um…. bought something else too. Come in my room and I'll show you!"

As soon as we were in my room I slipped the shorts and panties down, then stood there so mom could take a good look. I heard her suck in her breath, but she didn't say anything as I got dressed again, but with a bra.

"I know it's a bit extreme" I said, "but this is for my own safety, and I really don't think I could have done it unless I looked real. I would have been too afraid."

"Just how long does that glue last? You never said."

"Six months, but she told me the breast forms could come off easier, but might leave a rash if she took them off to early, so other than having to sit to use the toilet, I'll look the same if I have to."

"That's okay I guess, but what haven't you told me? I mean, you look so… real? I find it very hard to believe they made a panty like that just for show, does it…. can you…."

With a sigh…. "Yeah, I can do it if I want to, but that won't happen so I'm not worried about that! I just wanted something that looked realistic, and she said that this was the very best!"

"So…. if you can have sex, what else is there? I mean, it sounds like this company is striving for total realism!"

"Well… she told me that she could make it, if I wanted to, so that in about a month I could start having periods; she said that if I wanted to experience what it's really like to be a girl, then I really needed to suffer through that too. I know it sounds crazy, but it didn't sound so bad to me, and she sounded very sincere about that, so, I said yes. I mean, it's only a few days a month, right?"

"So" mom said in an exasperated tone, let me get this straight. While there isn't any doubt that you look like a girl, you can not only have sex with some guy, you'll also experience periods!? Isn't that just a bit over the top? I mean, if all you wanted to do was get by long enough to go to the lake…."

"But mom! If we go to the lake, then we both know that he'll call me, and probably ask me out, and we both know I did not do this on a whim mom! I did some research on the net, and found out that guys that do this, dress as girls for a while I mean, once they find out how it makes them feel, and they start doing it, with any regularity that is, they can't get enough of it! That's why I did this! What if I'm like that too? That and John of course; it'll protect me from any doubt, make it seem that you told the truth, and we'll both be safe from any questions!"

Mom clearly did not like the fact that I looked so much like a girl, but did finally admit that looking like the real deal was probably safer, telling me that I was probably right in my assessment of the situation, and then she let it drop. She did however, insist that I start acting like a girl all the time, even in the tone of my voice. Then, at her insistence, she and I left for the mall. I needed to have some skirts and dresses, bras and panties, more shoes, some jewelry, and a swimsuit. By the time we got home it was late, and we both crashed. The next day I spent some time putting things away, then started to clean the house. I worked my butt off, but by the time mom got home the house was spotless from top to bottom. Laundry, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen, making the beds, it was all done.

Mom noticed, and was even a bit surprised I think. But it was the very least I could do. As we sat down to eat dinner, she dropped a bomb on me.

"Remember when I told you it's a man's world out there? Well, you're about to find out, because a colleague of mine is looking for someone to work in his office, and when I mentioned that you weren't doing anything, he asked me to have you stop by in the morning. You said that you'll be this way for six months? Well, you'll need a lot of things, and since the word "mom" does not stand for "made of money", it's about time you started working, and being in an office is a good place to start! In the morning I'll loan you a suit if you like, but he wants you there at nine."

There were no questions there. It was an order, but she was right. I did need a lot of stuff, and I didn't want to be stuck at home; and with a job, I could buy things that I might need, and a job working for a friend of hers would be perfect! I grinned, and asked if I could borrow her beige suit. That night I took it out of her closet and began to set out my entire outfit. My brand new tan shoes, the beige suit with a white camisole under it, pantyhose, and a white handbag. You could easily say that I was very excited…. and a bit scared.

Not only would it be a true test of how I looked and acted, it would be my very first job, and I would be working as a girl! I spent some time in the tub before bed so that I was ready in the morning.

I pulled the skirt up a bit higher, making it at least two inches above my knees, tucked in the camisole and stepped into my heels. I checked the mirror; I was ready to go. Mom and I left at the same time. Her office was across town, while my appointment was just across from the courthouse. I found a place to park, then made my way to his office. His name was Mike Sawyer; he was about 50, tall, with graying hair and blue eyes.

"So! You're Grace! Janet tells me that it's time that you went to work, and as it happens, I need someone to answer the phone, keep my appointment book in order, and do some filing. Can you do that?"

"Yes sir. I've never done it, but it doesn't sound that hard, and I learn things quickly."

"Good. You're hired. Now lets get you settled in."

Mike was a criminal attorney, which meant that he had some very strange folks come into the office. Most were calm, but a few were downright rude and demanding. It did not take me long to figure out how to handle them. I merely suggested that if they did not behave themselves, I would simply reschedule their appointment! That usually worked. The work itself was easy, and he and I quickly fell into a routine. Along about the end of my first week working there I decided that I had enough of that wig, and made my first appointment at a salon, for Saturday morning. I was tired of that wig, and my hair had grown out a bit, so while I might have a short hairstyle, it would be a lot cooler than that wig.

I also had my ears pierced, simply because it was more comfortable, and I did not want to lose one at the lake the next day. My hair was tinted with an auburn hue that gave my face a bit more color, with bangs and a wave that framed each ear. Like I said, not long, but totally acceptable. I tossed the wig in a bag and went home. Mom seemed to like the cut and color, and the earrings.

Mike liked the change, as well. My work was getting easier as I figured things out and streamlined my work, and I got used to doing makeup and hair every day. I also started to wear slacks once in a while. On Friday..

"What did you plan on wearing tomorrow?"

"The cargo shorts and a top, why?"

"Take a skirt that goes with your top, and some nice shoes, just in case. Doreen has a nasty habit of throwing parties that tend to get fancy, and I want you to be prepared, that's all." Then, after a pause… "Are you taking the swimsuit I bought for you, or that bikini I saw on the dresser?"

"I thought that, well, I have them, why not flaunt them!"

"Just be careful around John honey, you don't have any experiences handling men, and you might send the wrong signal at the wrong time, so just be extra careful! I know that you're anxious to try out your new stuff on him, but he does not know that, remember?"

"I will mom! I can handle him, really!"

"Just remember, even though you're a boy, with that panty you have on, you can get raped, and we don't want that! You have to think like a girl now, not a boy in a dress!"

"Okay! Okay! I get it mom! I'll be extra careful!"

We left at ten the next morning for the drive to the lake. Mom and I both wore shorts and plain tops, each of us had a bag with us. Doreen greeted us as we walked up to the house, motioning towards a bedroom we could change in. John was there, and his face lit up when he saw me, which, I'll admit, made me feel good about myself. He and I walked out to the huge group of people that were milling around. There looked to be at least three other girls about my age there, but they seemed to stay together. I did meet a bunch of John's relatives, and to a person, every one of the ladies gave me the eye, as if they personally had to approve of John's "date". That was unnerving to say the least.

We ate a burger, sitting with his mom and dad. His dad was all smiles and eyes if you know what I mean, but his mom was very nice.

"Janet tells me that you work for a lawyer?"

"Mike Sawyer. I've been there two weeks now."

"Law is a good career Grace, maybe you should check into it."

"Not yet, but maybe. I need so many new things that I need to work for a while."

"I'm going to take Grace out on the boat, so we'll get ready, okay?"

"That's fine" his dad said, "just check the fuel before you go."

John stood up and shinnied out of his shorts, revealing his swim trunks.

"I think I'll go in the house and change".

I had brought both suits, the one mom bought and the bikini I had picked up. I was torn between the two because none of the other girls had a bikini on, but, vanity won out and I tossed the one piece back in the bag. I took another look in the mirror. Becoming a girl full time was beginning to be fun, but what I was about to do would be almost unthinkable without those breast forms and that panty, and I was glad that I had them. I grabbed a towel, took a deep breath, and walked out of the room not stopping until I reached the table where John and his parents were waiting.

"Wow" You look great Grace!"

"That's a very nice outfit" his mom said with a bit of jealousy in her voice.

"No speeding John, and I mean it!" His dad sounded very stern. "If I see a big wake you'll be grounded from the boat for the summer. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir."

"Okay then. You kids have a good time."

I did my best to walk with a sway, keep my arms against my body and my hands loose as we passed through the crowd. Those three girls stared at me like I was a leper, but I ignored them and continued to the dock. John helped me into the boat, and with a few deft moves, he started the engine, and we were off. The lake was huge, almost 10,000 acres, with homes dotted along the vast shoreline. John took me to the South, cruising around the point, then across the lake on a diagonal. I simply sat there looking around. I had never been on a boat before, and certainly, I had never appeared in a bikini! I had so many things to worry about that it was almost impossible to stay focused on the ride. He slowed, and let the boat drift to shore, nowhere near his house.

"This is a Federally protected park. Something to do with the birds. Come on. There's a path. We can sit up there and watch." He took my hand, and I followed him to what he called the perch, and sat on the grass. "I like it up here. It's quiet." As he said that, his arm went around my waist. "Grace, I want you to know that from the first moment I saw you I knew."

"Knew what?"

"That you were the one."

"One what?" I asked, as dense as ever.

"The girl I was going to marry."

"Marry! We just met! I'm only 18, almost 19, and I'm not ready to get married!"

"Me neither. I'm just saying that you're the girl for me, that's all…. It's like…fate I guess."

"Fate?"

"Meeting you. That was fate."

What could I say to that!? He was convinced that we were meant for each other! I slumped against the ground trying to figure him out. Maybe it was a ploy he used on all of his girls, or maybe worse, he was for real! Then he leaned over and kissed me, right on the mouth! I was so stunned that I jerked away. He leaned away, smiling that stupid grin he has.

"Don't do that again" I said, "without warning me" I added.

"Okay, I can do that! I'm going to kiss you again."

Well, he leaned over, took my face in his hands, and kissed me again, but longer, and harder. I did not try to pull away, but I did not kiss him back. I thought that I would feel dirty somehow, kissing another guy I mean, but it wasn't so bad, and I quit trying to work out the details, but enough was enough!

"I think it's time we went back John, we've been gone along time, and people might think …."

"Think what? That we had a good time? The hell with them! Let them worry a bit!"

"It's time to go John."

He didn't like it, but he took us back across the lake and to the cabin. He had other plans on his mind, like getting me naked and doing his thing, but I wasn't going to do it, so he was left with no choice. I saw mom, and walked up to her.

"How was the ride honey?"

"It was very nice mother."

"Did John behave himself?"

"He tried, but he's a guy, so he can't help himself."

"Yeah, guys are like that. Why don't you go put some clothes on? I'll be right here."

I changed into my shorts, but left the bra top on and rejoined my mom. I grabbed a burger and sat next to mom, Doreen across, and the three girls at the end of the table. They were still chatting among themselves, so I ignored them.

"Did John say anything about the ball?"

Doreen was talking to me. "Uh… no…. what ball?"

"I swear" she said disgustedly, "that boy can't remember a thing! Well, anyway, there is a debutant ball every year, and he was supposed to ask if you would like to participate. It's a very big deal; we have lots of dignitaries every year, a full orchestra, and food galore."

"A debutante? Me? But I'm a…. a… nobody!"

"No you're not!" my mother said forcefully, "you are Grace Elizabeth Stickney, you have a job, you're pretty, and you're single! That makes you eligible, and I don't want to hear any more talk about being a nobody!"

"I'll think about it" I said softly, "but no promises."

On the way home I sat next to mom, silent as I relived the entire day. One thought, and foremost on my mind was that I was NOT a girl, and there wasn't any way that I could become one, not a real one anyway. Two, when John kissed me I was not really revolted like I thought I would be. Shocked maybe, but not revolted. Three, no matter what I looked like, and regardless of the job, the special appliances, my mothers tacit approval and everyone's acceptance, I still retained that small part of me that asked me if I were crazy, stupid, perverted, or what! I had been dressing as a girl for all of two weeks, hardly long enough for me to be totally used to the idea that guys might be attracted to me, and certainly not long enough for me to accept the fact that at least one of them was! I sat there staring out the window, not saying anything. I wanted to try being a girl because it felt so good. I did not think that it would be permanent, nor did I think that anyone would want to kiss me! Lost in my thoughts….

"Grace! Wake up!"

"Oh! Sorry, what?"

"You must have had something happen today that's making you so quiet. What is it? Did John hurt you?"

"He kissed me."

"That doesn't sound so bad!"

"But I'm a boy!"

"You don't look like one to me, or anyone else for that matter! What's the real problem Grace."

"I liked it" I suddenly said, and instantly ashamed of saying it.

"There's nothing to be ashamed of, it's what boys and girls do!" When I frowned… "Oh! I get it! You think that you should feel bad, maybe dirty? Because John kissed you? Did you touch him… badly?"

"No, of course not!"

"Well… did you lead him on then?"

"No!"

"So… he simply thought that you were a pretty girl, sitting in a park with him, and he kissed you; maybe more than once? Is that about right?"

"Yeah."

"The minute we get home I call the prude police and report him then!"

"Mother!"

"This is how I see this, from my point of view. One, you're my son, and I love you dearly, you know that, but I agreed to let you try this dressing up thing so you could get it out of your system, but that failed when you went out and had those things attached! That alone told me that you liked dressing up more than you said, which is why I sort of forced you to take that job. I guess I was hoping that you would quit, but you haven't, and in fact, if anything, you're doing quite well! You even had your hair done for goodness sake! Now you're having doubts? All because someone finds you attractive?"

"Yeah… but…."

"No honey. No buts. You yourself told me that you have six months at the very least before those things can come off, right? Well, I'm telling you that you are going to do the whole six months… maybe more if that's what it takes, and, you're going to quit this whining! Take a long look in the mirror and tell yourself that you look anything like a boy, then try to convince yourself of it! You can't, and you know it!" Mom paused, smiled, then… Grace, you are a wonderful person in every way, and there is no shame in being a woman, or even wanting to be one, if that's what this is, but what you have to do is accept the fact that you're a very pretty girl, and regardless of what you think, guys can be helpful, and fun, if you give them a chance! I'm not saying that you have to jump in the sack with one, but you can quit moping about it when I guy shows interest!"

"So… you're saying that it's okay if John asked me out, and I went?"

"Grace, You're 18 now, and can make up your own mind about that! All I'm saying is that if you're going to be a girl for that length of time, and six months is a long time, then it would be silly to stay at home all the time, so if a boy, say John, asked you out, and you wanted to go, I think it would help you get over those jitters you have! But, you also have to accept that boys will want to kiss you, and possibly more, but that's up to you."

Mom did not settle my nerves, yet she did let in some light. Obviously my reaction to what had happened was due to my thinking like a boy, and not like a girl. And, she was right about staying home, affection and my being stuck in what was, not what is. It was going to be a big hurdle for me to leap, from male to female, but I was already well over the ninety percent mark. It was that last ten percent, the part that would let me be on a date, laugh and hug, kiss and smile, all as a girl. That was the problem. When we got home I went in my room and lay on the bed, wondering if I could do it.

As I lay there and I had that discussion with myself, I began to realize just how dumb it all sounded. I had bought those appliances so I could really live the life of a young girl, have a job, maybe a boyfriend and a family that still cared about me, then I choked at the first sign of attention. I stood up and undressed, looked in the mirror, and slowly ran my finger down the slit in my groin, letting it slip in as far as it would go. Only girls can do that. Then it hit me. Unless I really let it happen naturally, then the next six months would be nothing but a painful experiment gone wrong. I slipped on my shorts sans panties, a top without a bra, and went to find mom.

"Mom? You do know that I can have sex… with a guy don't you?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because you were right. From now on, I'm just going to go with it, and wherever it leads, I'll learn something."

"You're to young for sex Grace."

"I didn't say that I would do it, I'm only saying that I can, and somehow, after thinking about what you said, that alone makes me a girl, so why not enjoy it?"

"NO sex, okay?"

"Okay…okay! I'm just saying!"

"There are lots of ways to make a guy happy with taking your clothes off Grace, so I'll repeat. NO sex!"

Twenty minutes later it happened. I felt myself getting wet, and quickly checked. There was a red spot forming on my vagina! I called for help, since I didn't have a clue what to do. Mom quickly gave me the run down, and I soon had a tampon inside of the panty, and believe me when I say that doing that simple thing felt really strange! I could actually feel that tampon against my skin through the thin inner lining of the panty! I put some clothes on and we just lounged that night, but mom just smirked when I wanted to know more about having a period.

A boy that looked like a girl, having a simulated yet very real period, was so outrageous that it was inconceivable, yet that was exactly what was happening to me! In my heart, I did not want to get everything stripped off. I wanted to experience the whole six months as a female. My confusion was not about how I looked, but how I related with myself and others. All of those little things that are so different between the sexes. I made a resolution to do my best, and simply accept what is rather than pine for what was. The next morning I got ready for church, wearing a nice dress, low heels, and modest makeup. Mom and I left in her car. After the service we were met outside by a couple that were new to the church.

"HI! I'm Marlene, this is Donald, and this is our son Justin."

"Janet and Grace Stickney" Mom said.

"Nice to meet you" she said brightly; "we're new here and are just introducing ourselves around."

We chatted a bit, then left for a weekly breakfast at a local restaurant. When we got home I changed into a skirt and blouse, telling mom that I had thought about what she told me, and informed her that I was going to the mall, to one of those nail places and get my nails done.

"I'll go with you! We can have a fun day just shopping!"

Mom and I meandered through the various shops, with no preset idea of what we were looking for, just shopping I guess. I did buy two more bras, one a soft cup, the other and underwire, and a lightweight waist nipper. We both had our nails done, then looked around some more. With almost 300 stores, we had a lot to choose from, but I was drawn to the jewelry, and since I needed to add to my meager collection, I bought some inexpensive earrings. I also bought some very nice dress slacks, and two more skirts with a few tops. With every movement, I was aware of how different my nails looked, a bit longer, a soft red color that flashed every time I used my hands.

For the first time, mom and I seemed to bond in a way that only mothers and daughters do; there wasn't any tension between us, possibly because I had come to be myself rather than struggle with my change. It wasn't as if anyone forced me into it, that was my choice. Only I never did understand just how different men and women really are. Mom was, in her own way, very supportive although I'm sure that this is not what she envisioned for me. On the other hand, she was very demanding, telling me that it had to be a total immersion into being a girl, or I would learn nothing, and probably fail miserably. She was also taking me into linen stores, decorating shops, and the like in an effort to help me understand what most girls my age already knew. How to decorate and manage a house. It was fun in a way, and quickly learned all about sheets, the various quality levels based on thread counts. I had no idea!

On Monday morning I wore one of my new skirts, the red and white pleated one, with a white top and red jewelry. Mike said that I looked smashing.

"I have accepted a new client Grace; they'll be here at ten, so lets set up the conference room for…eight?"

"What's he accused of?"

"This is a corporate matter. I'm representing them in trying to rezone some property."

I was ready, and promptly at ten they walked into the offices. Imagine my surprise when I saw Justin standing there!

"Hi!"

"Hi Grace! Nice to see you again!"

"Are you one of the engineers?"

"No, I'm an intern; sort of a glorified gofer."

Just then Mike asked me to show them into the conference room. Three hours later, as we were leaving, Justin asked if he could take me to lunch, and I said yes. Justin was almost exactly my age, tall, kind of thin, but very polite, and obviously, smart as hell. He told me he was going to be an Engineer when he graduated.

"I just started with Mike, but I like the work, and he's very nice."

"Would you like to go get a pizza, tonight?"

"That would be nice, I'd like that" I said with a grin.

Justin had something about him that made me feel very comfortable, and we had a great time when we went out that night. I saw him again on Friday night, which is when he kissed me for the first time. Unlike with John, I felt calm, yet very excited inside. As the days became weeks, which quickly became five months, I had become so much of a girl that I could hardly remember what it was like to be a guy, and truthfully, I wasn't so sure that I could simply give up being Grace. In fact, I knew that I couldn't. Justin and I dated a lot, and I soon found that he was very determined to be the best in his chosen field. He was also determined when it came to me. Over time, that first kiss led to a make out session, and while I knew that he wanted more, I always stopped short, unable to bring myself to "help" him find relief.

John had called several times, but I finally had to tell him that I had someone else. He seemed to take it well enough, and I giggled when I recalled telling him that. I had a boyfriend, that was the message he got! Then I got my invitation to the debutante ball in the mail. After five months as a girl, there wasn't anything I was afraid of; I had crossed that great divide between men and women, and being a deb would be the icing on the cake so to speak. Mom and I set about finding a dress, shoes and so on, while I asked Justin to be my escort. Since the girls are always given, or presented, by their fathers and I didn't have one, I asked Mike if he would do the honors.

"It would be my great pleasure Grace! I'm honored that you asked!"

On the day of the event, mom and I both went to the salon, and I had my first experience with body waxing. Now, that was thrilling, hearing the rip of hair as it disappeared from my body! Then it was a full massage, hair, nails and makeup before we left so I could get ready. I was overwhelmed by how smooth my skin felt, and with the hair and makeup, I never looked that good, or felt that feminine. I had been immersed in so much femininity in such a short time! What they did for me at the salon made me feel even more like a woman, and I was reveling in it. I could not get dressed by myself, I needed mom to lace me into the corset, which she did, making my waist a svelte 23 inches, while forcing my bust up and out at the same time. Looking in the mirror, my rack really stood out! I managed to fasten the hose to the garters, then mom helped me get the dress over my head.

Like a wedding dress, it was all white, with small pearls embroidered on the lace trim. It was strapless, fitted at the waist and flaring to the floor in a wide sweep of satin and lace. Once it was zipped up I stepped into the white satin covered heels and added the pearl earrings, the matching pearl choker, and lipstick. Lastly, I daubed on some perfume. Mom said it, and I felt it. I looked radiant. Leaving me, she went to get ready, leaving me to look in the mirror. I had the sense that was how a bride felt just before she walked down the aisle.

Both Mike and Justin showed up in the same limo, escorting mom and I to the car, then into the huge hall. As I walked in, taking Justin's arm, I could see that all of the girls looked just as nice, and realized that we all shared the same experience. The salon, the pampering, the way we felt. I saw John, he was with one of the girls from that picnic at the lake. She looked like a hooker in a nice dress to me, but maybe I'm just being catty.

After about and hour, we, the debutantes, were "presented" to society, and the dance started. Justin was very light on his feet, a really good dancer, but I saw mom and Mike dancing, and they were only looking at each other, and in my eyes, they had that "look"! As the event tapered to the end, I had mom join me in the changing room so I could get out of that dress and corset. I changed into a very nice dress, a sheath that I liked and went well with my jewelry and shoes. Then Justin and I left in his car, which he had parked there when Mike picked him up.

"Grace" he said softly, "I think it's time that we made a decision about us. I have come to adore you, and want to be with you as often as I can." He put his hand on my face. "Grace, I want you. Now. Tonight. I have a room…"

So, there it was. I had thought about what it would be like to… do it, and wanted to be with him as well, only that small remnant of the old me remained, nagging at me. But, I think I had always known this day was coming, and if it was going to be anyone, Justin was it.

"You look so beautiful tonight, it's like I got a preview of what you'll look like as a bride!"

"And you think, that like a bride, we should go to your room?" I was teasing of course.

"I do" he said, "and I want to be the one to undress you, very slowly so we can both enjoy it."

After just a moments thought, I squeezed his hand, and he drove towards the room. No matter what I went through to get to that point, this would be the biggest test of my femininity. Could I actually do those things that girls do for their guys. Every single nerve in my body was tingling as he opened the door and ushered me inside. It was the penthouse, with a view of the entire city, and it must have cost him a fortune. He took my arm, swept me into his arms, then I felt the zipper coming down on my dress. As it hit the floor at my feet, I stood there in my bikini panties and bra, the garter belt still holding up my hose.

I watched him closely as he removed his jacket and shirt, then shoes and socks. As he reached for the belt, I stopped him, and loosened it myself, watching as they too hit the floor. After that it was a flurry of clothing hitting the floor until at last, we both stood there naked. He was at full attention, eager and ready to impale me with it, and all I could do was smile. Then he touched me, and I found my hand around him, gently pulling on it, which made him moan a bit; but, he led me to the bed, and as I lay there, I had no more qualms about what was going to happen. I had made my decision; I was going to let him take me.

He was both gentle and firm at the same time, and I performed an act on him that men like a whole lot. As my breasts swayed back and forth with my movements, I felt his hand on my butt, then on my head, urging me to do more, but I was full and resisted, until I lay on the bed. He rolled over on me, and finally, he entered me. A bit at a time, he coaxed it all the way in, and began to thrust. With each push I held on tight, feeling his manhood through the panty as it was almost directly against my skin. I could sense him reaching his peak, then that final push as he exploded, his grunts of pleasure making me groan with delight.

When he rolled off I lay next to him, satisfied that I was able to make him happy, elated that I felt no remorse, and my discovery that making love to a man was not only fun, but I liked it. I liked the fact that I was able to turn him on and use him, just as he used me. We lay there for a while, and as I touched him again, I felt some new life being restored, all it needed was a little help, so I pushed him flat on the bed and tried to restart him. Once again his hand went to my head, but I was successful, and he quickly unloaded. As I kissed it and made him clean, I gave no thought that what I was doing might be wrong, only that I was happy.

The next morning, after we once again explored our options, we took showers, went out for brunch, and he took me home. I was sure that mom would be angry, but when I walked in, Mike was sitting at the kitchen table, and he was in his underwear!

"Morning honey" mom said casually, "How was your evening?"

"It was wonderful mother! And very ahhh… illuminating!" I looked Mike who was smiling… "It looks like you had a good time too!"

"Yes honey" mom said smiling, "we did. Want something to eat?"

"No, we already ate. I'll just go change."

Mike stayed for a while, then, after he left, mom and I talked. I told her that Justin had made me feel like a woman, right to my core, and I knew that I could not go back to being a guy, especially after what I had done for him, and liked doing it!

"Well, I think you should know that Mike and I have been seeing each other for a while; his wife died in that accident, and since we hit it off… and last night, well, like you just said, it was time."

"So… you're not mad that I…."

"Grace, honey, you're a big girl now. I'm not mad, in fact I sort of glad in a way. Now maybe you'll quit wondering if you made the right decision. It was the right decision and we both know it, so lets not dwell on that. Lets just start by finding you a doctor that can make it come true. That way, when you do get married, you can be the wife he wants you to be, and you'll enjoy it more."

"Is Mike going to be my dad?"

"Maybe, but not yet."

"You'll have to tell him about me won't you?"

"He already knows honey, I told him before he hired you. He said that didn't matter to him, as long as you got the job done, and I'll tell you, he is very impressed with your work."

Now, that was a shock, the fact that Mike knew all about me, but he had never given me any sign of it, so I let it drop, and went online to find a doctor. I found one nearby and began the program, and continued to date Justin. Mike and mom started seeing more of each other, no longer afraid to let me know, they were less concerned and more open about it. Mike suggested it, and I let him start the paperwork to change my name and documents, and within about six weeks I was legally Grace Elizabeth Stickney, female, age 19. That fall I started college, a pre law curriculum. My body started to change and the panty began to get tight, so I went back to see that lady, who fitted me with one slightly bigger, and would stretch a bit. She also removed the breast forms because I had almost enough on my own.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as I waited for my body to develop, but after about a year, I was ready. Justin had gone back to school, and except for occasional visits, was unaware that I was undergoing a change. He and never did spend another night in a hotel; I told him that I wanted to wait. The relationship between mother and Mike became more intense, and I either found him at he kitchen table or mom was gone regularly.

"Why don't you two just get married and quit all this sneaking around! It's not like I don't know or anything!"

"We've already set the date Grace. It'll be next March."

"After my surgery."

"Yes' she said, "after your surgery, and long enough for you to heal up."

Mike did become my father, I had the surgery, and while Justin and I remained friends, we did not get married, or even date much after the wedding. I was 23, fresh out of school and still with Mike when I met another young attorney; he and I hit it off quite well, and we got married a year later. I guess the journey that started with a costume party, was all I needed, and the first time I put on a dress, I guess it was preordained. I don't even think about it any more because I have everything a person wants. A sense of self that is strong, someone to love me, a great job, and a family that supports me. There is nothing more important than that.

Just like Mary

Janet L. Stickney

[email protected]

The leaves were falling, littering the ground, my efforts to rake them into a pile futile. With the breeze continually spreading the pile around, I finally gave up and went inside. My dad was still working on his painting, the young girl laying on her back, her white tights, shoes and dress starting to take shape. Dad made a wonderful living as an architect, but his real passion was painting. There were several of my sister and myself hanging in the familyroom in fact. He had even sold a few, he was that good. I sat and watched him for a bit, then went to my room to play on the computer. About an hour later, dad came into my room.

"I wish your sister Adele was here. I just can't grasp the face!"

"Use one of the other paintings dad. You have lots of sketches of her don't you?"

"I tried that, but you know that I do best when I can see the model, the sketches aren't helping me find the right facial features or expression I want!"

"Maybe Mary could do it for you? I could call her and ask if you want."

"That's a great idea! Call her, then let me talk to her mother, will you?"

"Sure dad."

Both Mary and her mom said it would be okay for her to act as dad's model, and made arrangements for her to be at our house the following Saturday. Mary was in my class at school, and I had known her since we started school together. Now, at age 14, I was beginning to see just how pretty she was, and my feelings towards her began to change from one of being a good friend to maybe more. On Saturday, wearing the dress and other stuff that dad had bought for her, she lay there on the mat looking up, changing her face as dad directed her. I suggested that he take pictures of her just in case, but he said no, and kept on making sketches. Since this was going to be his biggest work, almost six foot by four, he said that he wanted to do it just like the old time painters did, with a model. He and Mary were in there for a long time, then she went home about four that afternoon. Because dad always worked in pencil before he actually added the color, the canvas was a tangle of curving lines that merely blocked the area and general shape of the dress and girl he wanted to paint. He seemed satisfied, and looked forward to having Mary return so he could continue, but that didn't happen. He got the call on Tuesday. Mary had come down with the meningitis! Knowing that she would be out of it for a long while, he seemed angry at first, then resigned himself to finding another model. After a few days of that….

"Danny, this isn't going to work. Mary is not available, and any other girl I might use will always have something better to do. That's why I always used Adele! She was almost always here! I need someone I can count on! This painting is going to take months if not close to a whole year, and I just can't see Mary or any of her friends being able to do it for that long, do you?"

"I can ask around dad, but…"

"Thanks, but…I was thinking that maybe…you could be my model?"

"Me? In a dress? Oh no! Not me!"

"Why not? It's not like you're going to go anywhere! There's just the two of us here, and about the only difference between you and Mary is that she has longer hair!" I was shocked that he would ask me, and started to back away. "Danny, it's just a thought! I won't force you to do it of course, but it would be a big help, and I'll really appreciate it."

I ran out of the studio and into my room, slamming the door quickly. All kinds of thoughts ran through my mind, but the one that stuck out the most was when I wondered if he had found out that I had been dressing up in Adele's clothes! It was harmless, just a thing I did once in a while! With Adele gone, and her bedroom just like it was on the day she disappeared, I had plenty of things to try on, but I only did it when dad was at work, and even then, I never left my room! Never! I sat on my bed staring at the wall. Adele had left for school one day but never arrived, and after a very long search, we all knew that she was gone. Adele was 14 at the time she ran away from home. That was almost three years ago. When she disappeared, and when the reality that she wasn't coming back set in, my mom sort of mentally dropped out, and eventually dad had to put her in a place where they could help her, so it's been just he and I ever since. Now he wants me to be his model, for a painting of a young girl under a tree looking at the sky!

If I said I would do it, would he find out that I had been dressing up? Would the face in the painting actually be mine? Would someone recognize me? I dearly wanted to do it, but how? How could I say yes without sounding eager, and would I be able to get myself dressed in the outfit he had bought for Mary? I kept peppering myself with those kinds of questions, many of them more than once, but deep down, I knew. I knew that I wanted to, and probably would, be his model. Only I had to make it seem like I was only doing it for him, or else he might find out that I liked it. Dad did not mention it again for almost a week, then he brought it up again, casually, sort of off hand, but he made it clear that I was his first choice, and added that he could make sure that he altered my face just enough that nobody would recognize me. Having thought about it a lot, I decided I would do it, but didn't say it. Instead, I nodded my head yes. Dad merely smiled, then suggested that he ask my Grandma to help me get ready, since she had lots of experience helping girls get dressed and looking pretty. That caused a lump in my throat, but I didn't say no, which is how I found myself in my room that Saturday morning with my Grandma.

Since the dress was a billowy mass of white layers, I figured all I would need to do was wear the tights, dress, a wig, and some makeup, but those thoughts were dashed when Grandma handed me the panties and told me to put them on. Then came the tights and white shoes with the low heels. She did my makeup for me, then placed a flowing blond wig on my head. Figuring that was it, I reached for the dress, but she stopped me, holding out a bra! In her words, "all girls your age have developed at least a little, so you need it." She put it around me, stuffing the cups with some rolled up socks, then she slipped the dress over my head and affixed the straw hat to the wig, just before she used the lipstick on me. I couldn't help it, but under the dress my tiny manhood was struggling to ruin everything! Trying hard not to let things erupt, she and I walked to the studio, and after dad saw me and quit staring, he posed me. For some reason, dad became very animated, and started work right away. By the end of the day he had started doing the color. That night, about five, he called it quits, and we all had dinner. I had cast aside that silly hat, but I sat there in that dress eating dinner, and nobody said a word.

Grandma came again the next day, making sure that I knew how to get everything on, do my own makeup, and get dressed, all on my own. She told me that she might not be available when I would have to get dressed again, so I would have to know how to do everything. After that I would pose for dad once or twice a week. After three months of that I was real good at getting dressed and doing makeup, and the painting of the girl was almost done, which meant that the times he needed me began to grow farther apart. That also meant that I was back to hiding when I got dressed up. Dad was at work and I was alone, so I put on the panties and bra, then the white tights, but a tan and white skirt with a white pullover top of Adele's and the white heels. Alone in my room, I was safe from prying eyes and unkind remarks, which let me relax and simply enjoy the feeling, just like always. I was sitting at the computer playing a game, my stereo a little loud, when the door to my room opened, and in walked my dad!

"What's going on here? Why are you all dressed up Danny? Stand up." I did, but I was scared to death. Obviously shocked that I was dressed up, he paused, then said, "For the moment let's not talk about this, but I want you to come into the studio. I have something to show you."

I followed dad into the studio, still wondering why he wasn't busy making me miserable after finding me dressed like a girl, but then again, he seemed very preoccupied, and until we stood in front of the canvas, I didn't know why. He had not let me see the work, he never did, until he was done. As I stood there watching, he yanked the cover away, and I saw it for the first time. It was fantastic! But it was me, and even I could see that. Dad had told me he would alter my face, and he did, a little, but it still looked a lot like me! The girl in the painting didn't look exactly like me, but it was very close! I didn't mention it right then, but I was concerned anyway.

"Well?"

"Wow! That's really good dad! It's your best I think!"

"Stan thinks so too. I showed him the photographs of it, and he wants to have a showing of my work! Think of it! I'll be the featured artist! For the first time!"

"Cool! Maybe you'll become world famous dad!"

"Maybe, but there is one thing I have to talk to you about, and seeing you…all dressed up, maybe…"

"What's dad?"

"I didn't tell him you were the model of course, but he wants to have the girl in the painting there. He says it will add a certain reality to the painting. I told him I would ask, but as before, I won't make you do it, although to look at you, it seems that you have come to like dressing as a girl anyway. So, how about it? Want to go?"

"You're not angry at me?"

Dad sat on his stool and looked at me, then told me that he wasn't angry so much as disappointed. Then he told me he had always known about my dressing up, but since I had kept it private, he figured it was because I missed Adele so much. He also told me that while he knew about boys that liked to dress as girls, he had not thought that I was one of them, not until I started posing for him. He said he could see it in the way I walked and posed for him. It was in my eyes he said. I had no idea that he knew what I had been doing, but there certainly wasn't any way to deny that I was still dressing as a girl, after all, I was standing there in a skirt! But going out in public? That gave me the willies just to think of it! I had barely found the courage to leave my room, and he wanted me to attend a showing? With all of his friends there? And what about everyone else? What if they knew it was me? That I wasn't a girl?

"I can guess what you're thinking" dad said, "and you may be right. Everyone we know will be there, and if you're dressed as a girl, they'll know, won't they?" I nodded my head yes. "What if we asked your Grandma to help you again?"

"They would still know dad. I'd better go change."

I went to my room and quickly put on my own clothes and washed up, but the damage had been done. Acting as a model was one thing, dressing as a girl on my own something entirely different; yet my dad didn't yell or anything. Maybe he was so excited about being selected as a featured painter that he forgot to yell at me for being dressed up. Whatever it was, I decided that I would have to be a lot more careful in the future. That was on Tuesday. On Friday when I got home from school, my Grandma met me at the door. Surprised to find her there, I followed her into the kitchen. The smell of fresh baked cookies filled the air, and moments later, a plate full of my favorites were sitting in front of me.

"We have a dilemma Danny. Your father was concerned when he found you all dressed up the other day, but you know that already. I also know that he had been asked to present his model at the showing, and he was confident that you would say no, until he saw you dressed as a girl that is."

"But he said that he knew that I was…that he didn't care!"

"Oh, he cares all right. He's afraid honey. Adele disappeared when she was 14, so he is afraid that if you are getting dressed up, and given the way you look, that you might also disappear! He couldn't take that honey. It's just that, even though he isn't particularly thrilled to find out that you like dressing up, and is terribly afraid for you, he's really being pressured to have you be at the showing. I know that he finally told Stan who you were, but that didn't change things. Stan had showed those pictures around, and now, some of the most influential people in the art world are coming to see your fathers work. What that means is that they will also want to meet the model he used. Now, your father and I are not telling you that you have to do this, it's just that we both think that you can, if you wanted to anyway. If you agree, I'll help you become the girl he needs you to be, and nobody will ever know."

"But all of dad's friends! They'll be there, and they know me! I'll be…they'll laugh at me!"

"Maybe someone will, but I don't think so, and in fact, I'm willing to bet that you're all wrong about that." She paused a moment, then…"I'll tell you what. Let's make a deal. You let me help you get all fixed up, then we'll go to dinner somewhere, and if nobody recognizes you as a boy, then you'll have no reason not to go to the showing. If someone does say something, then we can call it quits. How's that?"

"I…I…I've never, what I mean is, I never left the house before!"

"Then it'll be like an adventure, won't it?"

"And dad doesn't care?"

"He cares a lot honey. In fact, he did everything he could so that you wouldn't have to be there. I don't think he likes the idea of you dressing up when you're not posing for him, but you did, and he saw you, didn't he? Now he feels like it's his fault for having used you as a girl model. He told me that while he suspected before, he thought it was because you were trying to get close to Adele; that you missed her so much. But you and I, we know the truth, don't we? You like to dress up as a girl, and it doesn't have a thing to do with Adele. Your father, as much as he doesn't want to have you out in public as a girl, is in a bind, and now that he knows for sure that you've been playing dress up anyway, he also thinks that he has to at least let you try it, so you can find out if it's possible for you to be put in public. It's up to you, he and I both agree on that, but since you and I both know that you like dressing as a girl anyway, I think you should consider it. You looked quite lovely in that white dress you know."

"Aren't you mad at me Grandma?"

"Mad? No, I'm not mad at you. You're my only grandchild Danny, and all I want is for you to be happy. Do I like the fact that my grandson wants, and probably likes, to be dressed like a girl? No, but if it doesn't hurt anyone, and if dressing up makes you happy, it helps your father, and I can help, then I will. There are lots of boys that like to dress as girls, and they grow up to be happy well adjusted people, if they get the chance to be themselves that is. Now, what's it going to be? Shall we turn you into a beautiful girl or not? Shall we give you the chance to be yourself?"

In the end, I agreed to let her try her best. While I was in the shower, she was rooting around in Adele's closet to find just the right thing for me to wear. Twenty minutes later I was standing in my bedroom wearing just the panties, looking at the clothes Grandma had set out. Since I had not started shaving yet, I didn't have to worry about that as I sat on a chair and let Grandma work on my face. It didn't seem to take her long, and I expected her to pull my hair back and pin it in place before she pulled the wig on, but she didn't do that. She used a blow dryer, a round brush and some hairspray to create a more feminine hairstyle using my own hair. Then she watched as I got dressed. It felt very surreal to me as I sat there pulling on the pantyhose. One, my dad was supposed to yell and shout at me, maybe even let me have one up side the head for dressing as a girl, but he didn't do that. Instead he actually needed me to do it! Then there was my Grandma. Why she didn't throw a hissy fit when she found out is beyond me, but she didn't seem to blink an eye either, and was actually trying to make me look pretty! Because of what had happened, before, when I got…excited, I turned around and fixed things so that I looked more like a girl, hoping that would control things. Then I reached for the small bra.

Only an A cup, it was just right on my small frame. I once again used the rolled up socks, then stood there as Grandma slipped the dress over my head and began to button it up. Basically white, it had small lilac flowers on it, with a lace trimmed white collar. The belt matched the dress, and gave me sort of a shape once I fastened it. I stepped into the white heels, then Grandma clipped on some small white earrings and handed me a pale red lipstick. It wasn't my favorite color, but I used it, surprised at how my face looked when I saw myself in the small mirror. When I was done, she took me into my dad's room and stood me in front of the mirror.

"How's that?"

"It's…I look…"

"Yes dear, I know. You look like a girl. As long as you don't walk like a truck driver and watch how you use your hands, you'll be fine!"

Overwhelmed at the way I looked, I spun around and hugged her tightly, unable to actually tell her just how I felt. For the first time ever I really looked like the girl I had always wanted to be, and it was wonderful! At that moment I quit wondering why it all happened, just thrilled that it did. Grandma handed me a smallish white handbag, put the lipstick in it, then sat on the bed watching me as I looked in the mirror.

"I take it that this means you like what you see?"

"Oh yes Grandma! I love it!" Once it popped out, there wasn't any way to take it back, and I was instantly ashamed that I had said it, because then she positively knew that I wanted to be a girl, or at least dress like one.

"Since you love it so much, and as pretty as you are, maybe you should tell me what you call yourself! I mean, Danny can be a girls name, but…"

"I guess I never thought of it Grandma! I never, what I mean is, I don't have a name! Not a girls name anyway!"

"Well, are there any girls that you like? What are their names?"

I thought about it for a minute, then said, "Mary? No! wait!….Ummm…Jill?"

"That's a wonderful name! I like it. Now, why don't we go to dinner, and see what happens?"

I dreaded the idea of leaving the house, convinced that everyone would know, and it was only after Grandma insisted that I actually walked out of the house and got in the car. Going inside the restaurant was another gigantic hurdle that I had to wrestle with, but once again, I managed, just barely, to overcome my fears, and followed her inside. I felt as if I wore a neon sign the proclaimed to everyone that I was a boy, but nobody even bothered to look at me! Grandma handed me a menu, and I even looked at it, only I didn't, or couldn't read it. I was in severe shock, my nerves on edge the moment I saw her. Her eyes were unrelenting as she stared at me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't just disappear, which was my first choice.

"Something wrong Jill?"

"Huh? What?"

"I asked you what was wrong! You look as if you've seen a ghost!"

"She's staring at me Grandma! She knows who I am!"

"Who?"

"Mary! She's sitting right over there, by the wall next to that ugly lamp!"

"I'm sure that she is wondering how her friend was able to become such a pretty girl! Now, what will you have for dinner?"

I ordered the chicken, which is what I felt like. A plucked chicken ready to be roasted, or maybe grilled. I saw Mary get up, and as her father was paying the bill, she walked over to our table. As she stood there, it was all I could do to look up at her. I was glad that she had recovered from her illness, but of all the people I knew, she was the very last one that I wanted to have see me like that.

"Hi! Can I sit down for a minute?"

"Of course dear" Grandma said, "sit down here, next to me." Mary sat down, and…"You're Mary I take it. Jill has told me all about you. What a good friend you are."

Mary didn't answer right away, then…"Can I come over tomorrow?"

I wanted her to forget that she saw me, but…

"I think that's a wonderful idea Mary! Why don't you come for lunch? I'm sure that you and Jill have lots to talk about. Maybe you'll find out something you didn't know."

"Okay…I'll be there. Bye…Jill."

Still in shock, all I could do was ask "why?" with my eyes. I had trusted Grandma not to put me in trouble, but she had gone ahead and simply invited Mary over for lunch the next day! Barely able to eat after that, we left about an hour later. My dad saw us when we walked in the house, and motioned for us to join him. I was safer at home than anywhere else, yet the way he was looking at me…

"How was dinner?"

"It was wonderful! One of Jill's friends stopped by our table, and she's going to come over for lunch tomorrow. Jill and I are going to have to tell her what's going on of course, but she's a smart girl, and I just know that she'll understand."

"That's fine. You better go change…Jill."

"Let me unbutton your dress honey, then you can go clean up."

I ran to my room and tore the clothes off, washed off the makeup, and stood there in the bathroom cursing whatever it was that made me want to dress as a girl. I cried a little, positive that Mary would never talk to me again. She was my best friend. I crawled into bed, not wanting to see anyone. I felt humiliated, ashamed, and guilty, all in contrast to the way I felt when I first saw Jill in the mirror. I lay there, tossing and turning, unable to imagine the horror that lay ahead of me, when Mary would be able to laugh at me, and tell me I was a silly boy. Maybe she would even call me a sissy. Ever since my mom was sent away, Grandma had been helping us, like the time dad had that dinner party. Grandma set things up, made the food, and stuff. Now, for the first time, she had lied to me. I was still awake when the door opened, then the nightlight was flicked on. It was my Grandma. She sat on my bed next to me, stroked my head, then wiped away a tear.

"You think that I was being cruel. That I invited Mary over here so she could make fun of you, don't you?" I didn't say anything. "You know that I would never do that, don't you?"

"You saw her! You saw the way she looked at me! Like I was a freak!"

"She saw a pretty girl, who happens to be her friend! The fact that you looked like a girl might have confused her, but what better way to let her know what's going on than by telling her yourself? And wouldn't it be better if you did that here? In the safety of your own house?"

"Will I…should I be…dressed up?"

"Only if you want to, but if you're asking me, then I would say yes. How else can she get to know you better?"

In the morning I stared at the dress, but went to breakfast without touching it. Dad told us he would be at the gallery all day, making arrangements, then, just before he left he told me, with a sad tone in his voice, that he hoped that Mary and I could still be friends. Me too. After he left, Grandma asked me what I had decided. When I told her that would rather be myself, but didn't think that Mary would expect to see the real me, she suggested that since I had the time, that I go all out and be as much a girl as I could manage. That's how I ended up in a bubblebath with a razor in my hand, shaving my legs. It wasn't that hard to shave my legs, the oil in the water made my skin slick, and I didn't have that much to shave off anyway. Since the door was closed, I also shaved elsewhere, just to please myself. When I was done I dried off and went in my room first, then into Adele's room. I put on some of her nylon panties, the pink ones, and took a bra out of her dresser. Adele had always liked the plaid, pleated look, so most of her skirts were that way, but for some reason, I decided that a dress would be better, and took the green one off the hanger. Then I grabbed the tan flats and went back to my room.

I managed to get the pantyhose on without any trouble, but without any hair at all on my legs, wow! They felt great! The dress I had taken was a sheath with a round neck and no sleeves. I remembered how the girls at school looked when they wore dresses like that one, and knowing that I didn't have the shape for it, I decided to try something I had seen on the Internet. I used a folded hand towel on each side to make my hips seem wider, then I went back in Adele's room, took a pantybrief, and pulled it on before I sat at her vanity and tried my hand at doing my own makeup. I had the foundation on and had patted my face with powder when Grandma walked in to watch. She told me that all I needed to do was brush away the excess and add some blusher, which I did. When I had the bra on, I slipped the dress over my head and Grandma zipped it up for me. Then she sat me down and did my hair again, only curling the bottom under, which made it look really nice. Without a word I went to get some earrings, the gold ones, and clipped them to my ears. I used the pale red lipstick, then Grandma spritzed me with perfume! I put the shoes on and looked in the mirror. If nothing else, I at least had some kind of shape and my hair looked nice.

I still felt awkward, and I was afraid of what Mary was going to say, but I had already gone to far to change back, even if I wanted to, or could. Grandma left me there alone, and as I looked at my reflection, I knew that whatever else, I had done the best I could. All I had left to do was convince Mary that I wasn't a freak, a pervert, or a sissy. I waited in the familyroom, sitting on the edge of the couch until I heard the doorbell ring. With a wave of her hand, I went, then opened the door. Mary stood there until I motioned her inside, then…

"I almost didn't know who you were last night! It was only because I recognized your Grandma that I figured it out!"

"I'll leave you two alone so you can talk I think."

"Mary" I said, "this isn't…"

"You know what I think?"

"What?" I asked.

"I think it's icky that a boy can dress like a girl" Here it comes I thought, "and look like you do!"

"Huh? Is it that bad?"

"Bad? Are you kidding? You're really cute! Can you imagine someone like…Greg being able to look like you do?"

That made me laugh, because Greg has a shape roughly like a truck. Tall, wide, and thick, with his hair cut really short. Mary and I went in the kitchen to eat lunch, then later, after I told her that I had posed for dad, I took her into the studio and showed her the painting. Then I told her that everyone wanted me to be at the gallery on opening night, but I would have to be there as a girl. I almost told her that was why I was dressing up, but for some reason, I didn't. As we walked out of the studio, she tugged on my arm. When I turned, she kissed me, right on the lips!

"What was that for!?"

"Oh, girls do that all the time…Jill."

I didn't think that was true, but kept my mouth shut, just in case she wanted to do it again. We played some games on the computer, had a snack, then she had to go home. Before she left, while we were still in my room, she kissed me again, which caused me some pain in my special place. I had made sure that I wouldn't embarrass myself, which is why I was in pain when Mary kissed me. After she left I wanted to run in the bath and take care of things, relieve the tension so to speak, but I didn't get the chance. The phone rang ten minutes later. It was Mary. She had a babysitting job, and wanted me to come along! I asked and got permission, then Mary told me to change into a skirt and blouse, since it would be more comfortable and easier if I was busy chasing kids around.

I wore the tan and white plaid skirt with a white blouse, a tan sweater, and my sneakers. Grandma told me I didn't need a purse, then told me to walk over to Mary's, and be sure to call when I got to the house I was babysitting at. That's when it hit me. Mary's parents would see me! I almost didn't go, but Grandma told me that I might as well get used to having people see me, at least for a while, so I walked down the street, outside, and all alone for the first time ever. You could reasonably say that I was scared, wondering what her parents would say. I rang the bell and was let in by her mom.

"And you must be Jill!"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Mary is in her room, she'll be right down." I stood there, my knees locked together like Grandma told me, wondering if Mary's mom knew. "I understand you were the model for your fathers painting?" She knew!

"Yeah, after Mary got sick, he asked me to do it."

"Well, you look very nice dear."

"Thank you Ma'am"

Mary and I walked about two blocks away, to where she was babysitting, and after the parents gave us all of the information and had left, we were left looking at each other. Just then the baby started crying, so Mary went to feed and change her while I sat waiting. When she returned, she sat right next to me.

"You really don't know how cute you are, do you?"

"Me? Cute? Not hardly!"

"Well I think so" she said as she put her hand on my leg. Mr. Happy instantly wanted out, but I didn't dare. Just her touch gave me the shivers, and I knew that if he were free, and she did that again, well, I was still a boy after all. "How long are you going to do this? I mean, you're not going back to school this way are you?"

"No way! The guys would tear me to shreds!"

"More likely they would only be trying to get into your pants!"

"Yeah, right!"

"So, this is just for the summer?"

"Until the showing is over, then I'll be back to the old me."

"Do you have to?"

"What?"

"Be the old you, right away I mean."

"Why? You don't know how scary it is to walk around like this! What if someone finds out!"

"You worry to much! I've known you longer than anyone, and I didn't recognize you!"

"Yeah but…"

"But nothing! Listen and just think about it, okay?"

"Maybe, but my dad would have to agree, and he might not."

"Just try it and see what happens."

How it happened I'm not quite sure. One minute we were talking, and the next we were kissing. She had her hand on my leg, so I put my hand on hers, and after that, things got pretty hot. If the people had come in they would have seen two girl making out, which would not have been very good at all! By the time I got home, I was in total agony, and didn't even bother to change before I went in the bath and relieved myself of the excess tension all guys get after making out with a girl. Then I cleaned up and went to bed, my only thoughts about how Mary felt and tasted, plus her request that I keep dressing as a girl. She and I had always been friends, but only after she saw me dressed up did anything more happen. Since I enjoyed what she and I had done, and wanted lots more of it, I decided to dress as a girl all of the time, just to see what would happen. That's why I got dressed before I went to breakfast the next morning. I wore a different skirt and blouse, but I had put on makeup, lipstick, perfume and earrings. My hair looked okay I guess. After dad left for work, my Grandma told me that it was time that I had a few things of my own, like panties, plus, she and I had to find a dress for me to wear to the opening. She didn't even ask me if I would go! After we cleaned up, she and I left for the mall.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, and nobody stared or laughed at me. Plus, I didn't see anyone I knew, which would have probably been terrible. Grandma never once asked me what to get, she already knew. She did show me everything though, but I always agreed, not knowing any better. We picked out the dress, bought shoes to match, then went home, all without any trouble at all. Once I was safely at home though, I relaxed a whole bunch! I took everything to my room, then played on the computer while Grandma did something else.

On the day of the opening, as Grandma and had I talked about, I started the day with a bubblebath, and once again shaved my legs, and also, my arms. They weren't that hairy, but what the hell I thought. Once I was out of the tub, I got dressed, and like I always did, I wore a skirt and blouse. I blow dried my hair and brushed it out, did some makeup, then we had breakfast. Dad didn't have a clue what we planned on doing, and we didn't tell him; just that we had a few errands, and left. I had been dressing as a girl every day for the last eight days, and had lost most, but not all, of my fears of discovery, especially after Mary had talked me into walking to the mall and doing what she called "strolling and trolling". Grandma and I went into the small shop, then I was taken to a chair. I was about to have my hair and nails done by a pro. I had no idea what to do, so I just sat there and let the lady work on me, but it was smelly, and the rollers were really tight! I sat under the dryer while someone else worked on my nails, filing them to look more like a girls, then painting them a soft pink with clear over that. Before the rollers were taken out, the same lady that did my nails wiped away my makeup and started all over! By the time we left the shop, almost two hours had gone by, but what a difference!

The girl that dad had painted had dark hair while mine was light brown, but I had worn a blond wig. So they dyed my hair to a darker brown, and added curls that would make it easier for me to take care of. Out of everything that had happened to me, that was the very best, right after Mary of course. My Grandma and I had told dad that if I had to appear as a girl for his opening, that I needed the practice. He didn't exactly like it, but he didn't say no, which is why I had been able to keep dressing every day. That was okay, but we both knew that when he saw me, he would get a much stronger message, which was that I liked being a girl. But dad wasn't around when we got home, so I scurried to my room to change. I quickly undressed, then touched the breast forms that Grandma had bought for me, then glued to my chest. They looked great, and better, felt just like Mary's! It didn't take long to get changed, and once I had the dress zipped up, I stepped into the white heels and looked in the mirror. From head to toe I looked like a girl in every way, and better, I felt like one. The padded brief and the breast forms made me look and feel like a girl, only the hair, makeup and dress completing the picture. I clipped on the earrings, added the thin gold bracelet, a dash of my new perfume, and opened the door to my room.

I saw dad standing there in his tuxedo, but he didn't see me, so I crept around the corner, and made an entrance fit for a debutante. He looked at me with wide eyes, then he held out his hands.

"You have become quite the young lady! Just look at you!"

"Thanks dad, I did it for you."

"If you think I'll believe that, you should know better! You look like you do because you like it. You like dressing as a girl, and we both know it!"

"You're not mad at me are you? I mean, I can't help the way I feel!"

"No, I'm not mad at you. You always knew that I wasn't thrilled when you started to dress this way every day, but I agreed to it because your Grandma told me you needed the practice. Now I know better. You like it, and practice doesn't have a thing to do with it.

"Grandma lied to you?"

"And you helped her. You both knew that I was in a bind, that I needed to be able to produce my model, and you both took advantage of me, didn't you?" I hung my head, not knowing what to say. "Well, I have news for you young lady, I don't like being taken advantage of, so I'm going to have to punish you, but what? What shall I do to impress upon you that you have become the prettiest girl in the family, a girl that I don't think I will ever be able to do without?" When what he had said finally sunk in, I hugged him tightly. "As it happens, Stan has asked me to do a series of paintings, all using the same girl, that's you, in various settings. I was going to ask you if you were up to it, but now that I see you, that seems a bit silly. Of course you'll do it, won't you?" I nodded my head yes, and he held me back a little. "You do know what that means don't you?"

"What?"

"If the paintings do well, if they are well received, then we'll have to find a way to keep you in school while also having you posing for me. Maybe we'll do a portfolio of you in different clothes? I can get Mike to take the pictures, then maybe I can work out the sketches from them!" At first I thought he was going to let me keep dressing, then he mentioned having his friend Mike take pictures he could work from. That meant that I would be back where I started from! "Maybe we'll have to do both. What do you think?"

I had my chance, and I took it. "You always like to use live models dad. I don't think you'll be happy using a picture, you never did before."

"Did I tell you that you look quite lovely tonight Jill?"

It was one of a very few times that he ever used that name, and I almost started to cry, but didn't. He pinned a corsage to the dress, a pink, white and purple flower that accented the pink satin and chiffon party dress perfectly. I felt wonderful, yet I knew in my heart that I was still a boy wearing a party dress, and nothing was going to change that. Yet, with my hair, makeup, and nails, the breast forms and padding under a dress that screamed "girl", I really felt like a real girl for the first time. My father was still edgy about taking me to this opening, and I was scared that I would be found out. We both knew that what we were doing was risky, and could damage if not ruin his chances as both a painter and in his profession. That's why I was determined not to screw up. As dad, Grandma, and I drove to the gallery, I kept repeating the lessons Grandma had impressed on me.

The place was crowded with patrons, and as we walked in dad was mobbed by people. Grandma took me by the arm and we moved away so that dad could feel free to talk, without leaving me under the spotlight so to speak. His painting hung on the back wall, lit with four floods, and looked even better with that kind of light on it. Grandma and I were looking at it when Stan walked up to us.

"Hello! You must be Jill! I've heard a lot about you. Your father seems to have captured you quite well."

"Thank you." I said softly.

"I understand that you'll be the model for the series your father is doing. That's splendid news; he has managed to convey the innocence of youth quite well, and of course, we are all looking forward to more paintings in that same theme. With you as his model, I'm sure that he was inspired to do his best work ever."

Before I could say anything, some guy from a magazine walked up and started peppering me with questions, but Stan answered them, saving me from that task. Grandma stood there with me, holding my hand as the guy wanted to know my age, how I was related and stuff like that. Stan told them that I was a family member, that I was 14, and would be the model in several news works. Then he led the guy to the refreshment area. I was shaking in my shoes, ready to split, hide someplace, but dad walked up, and he had Mary and her parents with him! Mary quickly stood next to me.

"You're being very brave to do this for your father, and I'm sure that this isn't what you had in mind."

Mary's dad didn't have any idea what was going on, and I wasn't going to tell him either. "She is a very pretty girl, and a wonderful person" her mom said, "and I see no reason for her to be ashamed of anything! She and Mary have been friends for a long time, and you have known the child since she was born, and you know that a dress won't change that! I've already told Jill that she is welcome at our house any time, and if her Grandmother isn't available, she can talk to me about anything."

"Yeah well…"

"Well nothing!" Her mom went on, gripping her husbands arm tightly. "You know that Jill never planned on this, it just happened, so we have an obligation to support her!"

He seemed to calm down, then Mary and I got a soft drink, which is where we were when photographers started taking pictures, of me, then both of us! Stan quickly put an end to that, and we went to find my dad. He and I stayed together with Mary for the rest of the evening, and by the time I got home, I was worn out. I was excited, afraid, confused and relieved, all at the same time. Nobody had called me a boy in a dress, and that was good. Mary's dad got put in his place, and that was okay. But one of the photographers was from a local paper, and that was very bad. If the paper started looking into dad's family, they would quickly find out that there was only dad, Grandma, mom, and me. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that a boy had been posing as a girl, as a model, and as a live girl. I wasn't exactly despondent, but it was close.

The next day I did not dress as Jill. I wore my own clothes, jeans and a shirt, but those breast forms pushed out against my shirt, and I still had the fingernail polish on, so I was half boy and half girl. Grandma wasn't there, and I didn't know how to get the breast forms off, so that's how I was dressed when Mary came over. She was a little disappointed that I wasn't dressed. I could see it in her eyes. But, we sat watching television for a bit, then I put my hand on her leg, kissed her, and all at once we were doing more. I could feel her hand on my stomach, then nothing, and I knew that she had her hand on my breast. She was more eager than ever, and I managed to slip my hand into her blouse and actually touch her. I was ready, as only boys are, yet she pulled away when I put her hand there.

"Jill…Danny…whatever, this is fun, but…why can't you be Jill!?"

I told her why. I told her I was afraid. When I told her, she laughed! My best friend laughed at me! Mary then went on to tell me just how silly that was. That she had overheard lots of people talking about me the night before, and not one of them had any idea that I was a boy. Then she took my hand and told me that Jill turned her on, while Danny was just a friend. I didn't understand that, and I don't think she did either, but the way she looked at me, well, I believed her. I liked what she and I were doing, and I wanted more of it, but to get it, I would have to become Jill! We were sitting there side by side when Grandma showed up. Mary stayed a bit longer, then went home, winking at me as she left.

"Jill! You look…different!"

"Yeah, well, I'm not a girl and never will be Grandma. I…I…can't do this any more, but I have to!"

"Tell me all about it. Lets just sit here, and you can tell me what's going on."

Under the gentle pressure, I told her everything, from how being a girl made me feel to the way Mary reacted around me, and how that made me feel. I mentioned the local paper taking my picture, and how, without a lot of fuss they could find out the truth. After all, when Adele went missing, our family was all over the papers, so it couldn't be that hard to find out that I was a boy. When I mentioned what Mary had said, that she liked kissing Jill instead of Danny, Grandma just sighed. I was being torn to pieces from every direction. Mary, my liking to be dressed as a girl, dad's reluctant approval, maybe my picture in the paper, and my innate fear of discovery were sapping what little strength I had left. Grandma listened without saying anything, then she hugged me before she sat back and looked at me.

"It seems to me that you and Mary have been doing things that you shouldn't be doing, not at your age anyway, and you know that neither your father or her parents would like it very much if they found out, don't you?" I didn't say anything. "As for the rest, I say, so what? You can become a very pretty girl when you want to, so the only thing we have to consider is if you want to become that girl, or do you want to hide her in your closet again? If you want to hide her, just say so! But if you don't, then you need to say that too! Honey, we don't get to choose what becomes of us. It sometimes just happens, and when it does, you have to accept it and go on with life, or deny it and be miserable from then on!"

"But if I…I can't go to school that way, I'll get torn to shreds!"

"Maybe, maybe not, but that's isn't the real question is it? Do you, or do you not, want to be Jill? That's the only question. The rest we can work around. So tell me, what's it going to be? Boy, or girl?"

"Girl" I said softly, "but I just know that dad will hate me when he finds out! He said…"

"He said that you were a lovely young lady, and he was going to punish you for it, didn't he?"

"Yes."

"And did he say what that punishment would be?"

"No, but…"

"Didn't he tell you that you were the prettiest girl in the family?"

"Well, yeah, but I'm the only girl in the family!"

"That does not make the statement any less true, and that brings us back to what it is that you want, and how badly do you want it."

In a sense, I had neatly boxed myself into a corner, and Grandma knew it because she led me there. I had already said that I wanted to be a girl, so the only question left was how? How could I keep on being a girl and attend school without getting my ass kicked all over the place, and even if I did manage that feat, how would everyone react to me? I didn't have any answers, so I said nothing, my mind a blank. Moments later, Grandma talked about Mary and I.

"I know that she's your best friend, and I also know that you are reacting like a normal boy when you touch and kiss her, but that not something girls do with each other. If you're going to be a girl, then you need to start thinking about the future."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that most girls have boyfriends."

"Not me!"

"We'll see, but for now, no more of that funny stuff with Mary. Understand?"

I went to my room and changed into a skirt and blouse, but didn't put on any makeup, then helped Grandma make dinner. School was going to start in just about six weeks, which was how long I had to be Jill, or find a way to remain Jill. My dad didn't say much, not until our pictures appeared in the paper the next day. It was a wonderful write up, and I was identified as Jill, my fathers daughter. There was no mention of our families previous problems. The picture of me was about four by six, and showed mostly my face. The article said that I was the "new inspiration" for my dad, then went on to say that several other painters had asked if I would pose for them! I had not known that! As I read the article, I saw dad watching me. When I looked up…

"It does seem that they have decided to not print anything to hurt you, doesn't it?" Without waiting…"But it also means that now we're in a bind. Everyone will read that and assume that I have a 14 year old daughter, a girl that attends school, has friends, and all that. You can't tell me that you don't like being a girl or none of this would have happened, so lets come clean with each other. You want to be Jill all of the time, and while I don't like it, I'm inclined to let you. How do you feel about that?"

"I can't dad, I have school."

"You can if you change schools, which is going to be your punishment for lying to me."

"Change schools? But where would I go? The only other school around here is…."

"That's right. An all girls school."

"But I don't want to go there! Those girls are all snobs, and stuck up!"

"Maybe, but it's the only thing I can think of at the moment, so that's where you'll be going in the fall. You will also be staying with your Grandmother, since she is the only one that will be able to help you mange to be a proper young lady."

"I have to move?! Daaad!"

"Then you'll have to go back to school as a boy! I'm not going to take the chance that someone will hurt you!"

That's exactly what happened. I started school as myself. I did my best to walk and so on like a boy, and I managed to get by. None of the boys seemed to put it together that I was the girl in the paper, and life went back to normal, almost that is. On the weekends I would get dressed, then Mary and I would hang out together. It wasn't perfect, but my only alternative was to attend an all girls school, which I didn't want to do. I figured that I could handle anything for the four years of high school. After that I could do what I wanted. Mary and I grew very close, but the one time I was dressed as a boy and tried to make it with her, I got shot right down! She didn't say much, but I quickly knew that the only way I was going to be able to play touchy feely with her was if I were Jill. I was caught between my normal male desire to be intimate with Mary, my wanting to be a girl, and my Grandmothers rather stern admonition that "girls don't do that". I didn't know what to do, but I was miserable with the way things were turning out. Then it happened.

I was dressed, wearing a short skirt and a blouse, pantyhose and flats when the bell rang. When I opened the door, a boy stood there, a boy that I knew…but didn't! I let him in, he took my hand, and without a word, wrapped his arms around me tightly, then kissed me!

"Call me Tom" he said with a grin.

"Ma…Mary?"

"Like it? I've thought about this for a while, and finally tried it!"

"But you look just like a guy!"

"That's the idea dummy! Me boy, you girl!"

We went out walking, hand in hand, just another couple, except the boy was really a girl, and the girl was really a boy! We kissed a bit, then he took my hand and moved it. To my great surprise, what should have been smooth, wasn't. There was a lump, a sort of stiff lump! I yanked my hand away, only to see a grin on his face. It was an eerie feeling to see Mary that way, but in a way I was very happy. It meant that we could make out again, and not feel so strange. We ended up at her house, which was dark except for one light.

"My folks have gone to some party. Let's go inside."

We sat on the couch, then Mary, or Tom, began to kiss me, making me quiver in excitement. Like before, Tom was eager to touch me, and I let him. Then he put my hand on it again. It felt like mine, so I moved my hand away again, unable to let myself think about what might happen. My blouse was unbuttoned, his one hand in my bra, the other touching me in my panties. Breathing hard, it was all I could do to move away. Tom looked at me, then unbuttoned his shirt, which is when I saw the wrapping that held down the breasts.

"Now we can date! Think about it Jill! We're not breaking any laws or anything. I'm a girl and you're a boy, so what's the problem? How we're dressed? Who's going to know?"

It was a good argument, and I fell for it. He took me to the show a few times, and each time we grew closer to doing it. That's when I knew that I wanted to be able to please him even more, and started surfing the net for a way to do just that. I knew about hormones of course, but getting them was going to be hard, or so I thought. I found a place, in another country, the would sell them to me, as long as I sent them a money order, which I did. I ordered enough pills to last a very long time, and when they came, I started to take them. Mary had to be herself, just like I did at school, but on the weekends, she and I would always be together, Tom and Jill, the perfect couple, and as time went on we kept getting closer to intimacy. Both my dad and her parents had found out that she was dressing as a boy, but she was able to point at the many girls that also wore boys clothing, and while they didn't like it, they let her continue. It was obvious what we were doing, and they knew it, but like my Grandma, they could accept a boy and a girl together, not two girls. In our twilight like fantasy, they didn't have a clue. If we only knew.

I knew that taking the pills would change me, and I knew that it might take some time, but I was growing tired of waiting. Day after day I would check, only to see no change, and I grew weary of waiting, wondering if I had been sold sugar pills. Then came the tingling, which quickly blossomed into a pair of very small, almost unnoticeable breasts. I was four months from turning 16 when I had a growth spurt, growing a full cup size and gaining three inches on my hips, all within the next few months. Other than strapping them down, there wasn't any way to hide my breasts, and absolutely no way to conceal my hips. For a father and a painter, my dad was pretty ignorant about girls, and didn't seem to notice the changes, which lasted for a while before he told me I was gaining weight and let it go, but when My Grandma saw me, it was a whole different story. I was dragged into my bedroom, and under a very stern gaze preceded by the threat of death, I took my clothes off. When my bra hit the floor and she could see them, I saw her eyes cross a little, then a sort of gasp, just before she demanded that I take everything off. The evidence could not be denied. My bottom was wider and rounder while my manhood, nothing to shout about to start with, had gotten a bit smaller.

As I got dressed…

"Your father is going to be very unhappy with you, and you'll be lucky if he only grounds you for life! Whatever made you do something like this! I mean, without talking to one of us?"

"I want to be a girl Grandma! You always knew that! And besides, I wanted to have them for Tom!"

"Tom? Who's Tom? You have a boyfriend now? When did this all happen?" Then it hit her. "Mary! It's Mary isn't it?! She has been dressing in boys clothes! We thought that it was so you two could go out together without any trouble! I see it now! You two have been dating, not just going out, and you're the girl!"

Just as I got dressed, dad came in, waving a letter at us. "I just got a commission to do three more paintings! They want all of them to be similar to the one you posed for!"

"It seems that Jill has changed a bit" Grandma said quietly, "she has developed the body of a girl her own age."

"What! But how?"

"Oh, I think it was a combination of things. She has been dressing as a girl for quite a while now, wearing a bra all of the time, so maybe that had something to do with it."

"But…but…this is terrible! What else could cause something like this to happen?!"

"It might not be as bad as you think" Grandma said, "after all, she has been posing for you hasn't she? And now you have this commission? I think maybe it's time we all faced it. Jill is here to stay."

Dad, while accepting me dressing up on the weekends, had forced that on himself when he asked me to pose for him, but for me to become a girl full time, well, that wasn't something he had never really considered. The fact that Grandma told him I had the body of a teenage girl was more than enough for him to believe it, but that left me with zero options. It meant that my tenure at the school I was attending was about to come to an abrupt end. Just about the only thing good about it was that Tom and I had not been together in quite a while, and I intended to surprise him with my brand new options! I had my chance the next day. Mary showed up, once again dressed as Tom, and with my secret held tightly, we walked to our favorite spot in the park. He and I started kissing, then he touched my breast, which sent a shiver through me. Tom knew something was different, but not until I let him slip his hand into my bra did he find out. Both of us were shaking in excitement as his hand kneaded me, playing with my nipple until it stood straight out. Unable to do more than that in the park, we straightened up and walked back home. Tom was mostly silent, but he kept stroking my butt on the way home, and that made me feel really good.

On Monday I was enrolled in that all girls school, which I hated. I hated the uniforms I had to wear, all of the rules, and most of all, I hated being around girls who's only thought was for themselves. They weren't all like that of course, but enough of them were that it made me want to get away from there as fast as I could. After just a single week of that, and living with my grandmother, I wanted to go home, strap down my boobs, and go back to my old school. I couldn't see Mary, or Tom, but Grandma said it was for my own good, whatever that meant. It was almost a month before I went back home for the weekend, and that's when Tom and I did it. Because I was having trouble becoming stiff enough for penetration, we had to work at it for a while, but finally managed to achieve it. I was on the bottom when we did it, and he acted every bit the boy. I mentally pretended that I could feel him inside of me, but it did not last long enough, because my eruption wasn't so hot, although Tom shook a bit when he got his. Later, after we got dressed, I looked at him and knew that I loved him. Because my manhood had not been very active, I was a bit surprised that it worked, but overjoyed when Tom said it was just fine.

Four months later I found myself facing not only my dad and Grandmother, but Mary's parents as well, and they all looked very angry. Since that one time Mary and I were intimate, I had been having even more trouble getting erect, and had virtually no success since then and I was positive that only Mary could make it respond again. Since she wasn't there, I could tell that something was really wrong.

"We had to send Mary away young lady! Do you know why?" I shook my head no, since I had no idea. "She is pregnant! At age 16! Guess who she said the father was?" I didn't have to guess. I knew. "Mary has been sent away to have the baby, and when she returns, you are forbidden to see her."

"But I can't…what I mean is…" I turned to my Grandma for help.

"What I think Jill is trying to say is that she has been taking hormones for a very long time now, and she cannot achieve an erection any more. Mary would be quite safe with Mary. Like two girls."

"That's what we thought before!"

"Yes, but now it's true, and we can prove it if you like."

"I'd like to see you prove that!"

"Not you, your wife. This is a young girl we're talking about."

With a nod to Mary's mom, the three of us went in dad's bedroom, shut the door, then under Grandma's order, I stripped off my blouse, unclasped my bra, and set them free. A set of B cup breasts popped out, pert and firm, clearly not fake.

"The rest?"

I took my panties down, then raised my skirt. Pitiful is what it was. Just a nub was left, my testicles having retreated into my body long ago. Even if I did manage to get an erection, there wasn't enough for any kind of meaningful penetration, and we all knew it. Mary's mother grunted in acceptance, and they left me to face my father, who had just found out that I had been taking hormones. My life instantly became one of very strict supervision. School, home, homework, bed, school again. No change. Mary had a baby girl, which was fitting I guess. I never saw Mary again until I graduated from high school, and by then it didn't matter. My dad painted me several more times, each time drawing a better review, but it was a strained relationship. By the time I was a senior in high school, there was virtually no trace that I had ever been a boy, and had become acclimated to being a girl in every way, from speech patterns to walk and mannerisms. I never dated again, even after my supervision had been relaxed. As a boy that had become a woman, I had enjoyed the fruits of both, but also the suffering of both. I had a baby out there, my daughter, but I would never see her. When I saw Mary for the first time in two years, she was with a guy, laughing and happy. I had lost her, but I knew that she was happier, and that was going to be my only solace.

My father had eventually come to realize that I was his daughter in every way, but he still harbored some anger with Grandma and I because we had not told him that I was on hormones, or that I had developed as much as I had. He and I struggled to find a way back together, but I was a girl, and nothing could change that, even if I wanted to, which I didn't. After starting college I met someone, a very nice guy who worshiped the ground I walked on, and as we became closer, he and I started to do those same things that Mary and I had done. Only it was different. He was able to make me tingle all over with excitement, but unable to satisfy him as a normal girl would, I did what I could for him. When I lay in bed that night I realized that my tryst with Mary had let me be the male I really was, just that one time, and my session with my guy had let me be the woman I knew that I had to become. Experiencing life as both a male and female, I was able to finally close off those doubts that I always carried with me, and that next weekend, with my guy in tow, I was able to let dad know that I loved him more than I could say, yet let him know that my guy was also a part of my life as a woman.

Our relationship improved rapidly after that, and I finally had the father/daughter relationship that I always wanted. When the time came, I was sure that he was going to cry at my wedding, and that was just fine with me, because I knew that he loved me as only a father could love a daughter, me.

My Lady Fair

By Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]

I was disgusted with my brother Jeff. We are both in high school now, Jeff a junior while I'm was a senior. I had seen my brother dressed as a girl quite often over the years, usually when we were both younger. Jeff always went a little too far and made it funny, or he dressed up on Halloween. Well, we share a bedroom, so I could hardly miss it when Jeff started to accumulate some clothes that were decidedly not for any male I ever met! Jeff was always careful and discrete about it, but he had panties, a waist nipper, and some bras in his dresser drawer, and two dresses, several skirts and some blouses hanging in the closet! I could hardly miss them could I? In the bathroom we shared, he even had his makeup in a neat row on the counter!

I had mentioned it to mom, but to my great dismay, she had continued to help him, like when he needed help with his hair, or some advice on something else feminine! I didn't understand why he did it, it was so… unmanly! I'm on several sports teams, and he debates and acts. I'm taller than he is by about eight inches and outweigh him by 30 pounds easy. I guess, if you looked at him and our older sister Audrey side by side, you would have to admit that they look a lot alike. Why he wants to dress like a girl is beyond me, but if I make an issue of it, Mom would only become angry and I'd be worse off than I am now! I complained to mom a few times, but she told me to just be patient. I try.

Our Dad had traveled a lot, and even though he knew about Jeff dressing up as a girl he never said anything about it, leaving it up to mom to do what was necessary. Then Dad had died in an airplane crash about a year ago, leaving mom as the sole arbiter in our house. Audrey had just left for college, leaving her bedroom empty, so I asked mom if I could move into her bedroom to get away from Jeff, but mom told me that Jeff was the one that would be moving.

"It's a bigger room, with a bigger closet, and it has its own bath, so he won't be bothering you anymore Bradley."

Audrey had a bigger bedroom, which I really wanted, but with Jeff in a room of his own I would have more room anyway, so I accepted her decision. Later that day I watched as Jeff moved all of his clothes into Audrey's old bedroom. Jeff was smiling as he moved his clothes because, we both knew, he would have more chance to dress up as a girl. That night after dinner, mom told me to leave so she could have a private talk with Jeff.

"Mom, I know that you let me have Audrey's old room even though Brad wanted it, and I know it's because I sometimes dress as a girl; but Brad hates me for doing it. I can't help it, and he doesn't even try to understand no matter how hard I try to explain it, and the way he treats me over this thing is killing me!"

"I know dear. I don't understand either, but I try. Brad is trying to understand your… need, but he just can't, and that makes him seem angry. You just have to try and understand his fear." She took my hand in hers and tried to explain my brother's fear. "He is afraid, not of you, but for you Jeffrey. If you were discovered dressed as a girl he thinks that you'll be hurt real bad and he won't be able to stop it, and on top of that he worries about how the other kids will react to him, if they found out about you."

"But he's never seen me dressed up except at Halloween Mom, and that doesn't count because I do it as a farce then. You're the only one that has seen me done up right!"

My shame at wanting to dress as a girl combined with my brother's anger at me made me start crying. My mother handed me a tissue and as I dried my eyes, I saw a glimmer in mother's eye. Then, offhandedly, she made a suggestion that would let me show everyone, including my brother just how I looked when I was dressed as Jill. Mom told me what she had in mind, and after a few minutes of thought, I jumped at the chance.

"Okay Mom, I'll be ready Friday night!"

She left me to finish my homework, then went to see Brad.

"Brad, I want you to do something for me."

"Okay Mom."

"Listen to me first before you jump in Brad. I know how much you care about Jeff, and I also know that his dressing as a girl worries you, more because he might get hurt, and less because you don't understand why he does it. But you have never seen him when he does it right. You only see him once a year, at Halloween, while I have seen him many times. You'll have to take my word for it Brad, but he looks totally different from what you have seen in the past. I have asked him to do something for you.

I have asked Jeffrey to get dressed, just for you, so you can see for yourself that what I am saying is true, and I want you to go along with it because you both need it. You need to know more about Jeff, and he has to know that you still love him. I think you'll have a better understanding about what drives him after you meet the real Jill." Mom paused, and gently took my hands in hers. "On Friday night, the three of us are going out to dinner, and Jeff will be dressed as Jill. You can see for yourself how he looks, and maybe you won't be so afraid for him." I was stunned beyond words, and angry, but mom had asked me to do this, so I nodded my head yes. "Bradley, Jeff thinks that you hate him and he has to know that isn't true."

"Mom, I don't hate him! I just don't understand this dressing as a girl thing of his!"

"I know dear; that's why we are going to dinner together."

The next day after school, while Brad was at practice, I stopped at a dress shop and bought a dress that I had wanted to get for a long time. Since I never had anyplace to wear it before now, I had only admired it through the glass. It was a black cocktail style dress with a lace cover over a low cut sweetheart neckline with a fitted bodice and a flaring skirt that would be two inches above my knees. I had almost everything else I needed at home, except the black panties and a black corsolet, which I bought as well. As soon as I got home I hung it in my closet, waiting until Friday to even wear it. I already knew that the dress would fit me perfectly and didn't worry about that, but I made sure that I had everything else I needed before I could even think about relaxing.

The time seemed to slow down to a crawl as I looked forward to, and yet, was scared about meeting Brad, as Jill. Finally the day came. I got home from school at 3 and went to my room. I could get ready in about an hour, but I had the time, so I went in the bath and used a cream to remove every trace of hair that I could, then filled the tub with bubblebath. I settled into the warm sudsy water, using a razor on my arms and legs to make every bit of my skin as smooth and hairless as possible. The sweet scent of the bubblebath and the oils in the water renewed my sense of femininity, and I stayed in the water until it started to cool off. I shaved very carefully, making my face as smooth as possible, even though my light blond beard was barely detectable even without any makeup.

With the towel wrapped around me I went about getting dressed. Not long before, I had made a device that would hold my maleness in a manner that gave me the appearance of a female. It was just some medical tape and a wide bandage, but as I pulled the tape tight, my maleness disappeared, leaving me the smooth front of a girl. I would now have to sit to pee, but I would do that anyway. As I pulled the lace trimmed black nylon panties on, the sensation of the thin material made me shudder as the nylon caressed my now smooth skin. I sat on the bed and pulled the pantyhose on, then my padded pantybrief. I sat at the vanity and used the foundation sparingly as I covered my entire face, then used a translucent powder to set the foundation. I waited a few minutes and brushed away the excess powder leaving my face looking beautifully smooth and soft. For eyeshadow I chose a light green with a russet over that and a bit of coral blusher under my eyebrows. I used a sponge to blend the colors, making my eyes look lush and very sexy. Then, I used deep black eyeliner on my upper lids and a black pencil under my eyes to make them seem wider. On my cheeks I used the same coral blusher.

The corsolet pulled my waist in, making my waist a trim 24 inches while pushing my chest muscles up at the same time. The built in bra was a thin, black underwire, with lace trimmed cups in a full A, which I almost filled by myself. I manipulated my breasts in the cups with my hand, and used a small oval shaped pad under my breasts to push them up and fill the rest of the cups. My breasts swelled up, creating a very nicely modest cleavage, the best I had even managed as a matter of fact. At my vanity I put my shoulder length blonde hair in some rollers, following a pattern from a teen girl magazine that I had practiced doing, using a gel to help set my hair. While I waited for the gel to set, I pulled the dress over my head and zipped it up, feeling the material as it hugged my body tightly. I pulled my black heels out of the closet, slipped my feet into them, then sat at the vanity to finish my hair. The rollers left my hair wavy, and I used a curling iron to create a very definitely feminine hairstyle.

With two gold and black barrettes I pulled the hair back on each side of my head, and clipped it in place, then I did the front so that my bangs looked casually flip and unplanned as they swept to one side. The earrings were also gold and black, a chandelier style that swung from my earlobes with every movement of my head. The gold necklace with the small black stone hung between my breasts and only accented the delights hinted at under the lace top. On my wrists I wore a gold watch and a thin gold chain with a ring on each hand. I dashed some of my best perfume on my elbows and neck and then put on the soft, red lipstick. I filled my purse with my feminine wallet that had my ID, a brush, my lipstick and some money in it.

I took a moment, gathered my courage, and stepped out of my room, then walked to the familyroom where mother and Brad were waiting. Brad was wearing a suit, while mother was also dressed in a fancy party dress. I watched my brother Brad carefully, and was pleased to see his mouth drop open.

"Hi Brad. I'm Jill, the girl you were so afraid of."

Brad looked at me, confused, because his mental image of me in a dress, was so different than the girl standing right in front of him! I watched as his eyes roamed, from my well done hair, down over my breasts, across my trim waist, over my well rounded hips, and then to my very shapely legs perched in the black patent leather heels. "Brad, if anyone asks, this is your sister Jill." The best word to describe his reaction to seeing me dressed as a girl this time was stunned awe, and he very definitely showed that in his eyes. Brad nodded his head and turned to open the door for us, but I noticed that his eyes kept going back to me in the rear view mirror.

Brad drove us to the restaurant where we were seated at a table, but on the way in it was hard for Brad not to notice the way I moved, walked, and acted. There was not one movement that wasn't just as feminine as any girl he knew. Once we were seated and our orders taken, I sat back and smiled at Brad. His entire demeanor was one of shock at just how well I not only looked, but also acted, and not one person looked at us as if I had been discovered as a male.

"You really surprised me Je... Jill. I never thought, I mean you look so… nice."

"Why thank you Brad! When Mom asked me to do this for you, my first reaction was fear that you would go crazy, but then, somehow, I knew you wouldn't. What you see is a major part of me Brad and there is no way I could deny it. I don't think you can say that I look like a clown, can you?" To Brad's surprise, I even talked and sounded like a girl!

"You sure don't look or sound like a clown to me! Hell, you look as good as most of the girls in the school!"

I was pleased at his reaction to me because it might have been ugly if he didn't.

"I'm glad that we have finally gotten this out in the open and you two can quit this struggle over it."

We looked at our mother and both of us smiled at her. Brad with his crooked grin and me with my perfect, white teeth, outlined in red lipstick, both of us beaming.

Dinner was excellent, and as the band started, we ordered coffee so we could stay and hear the music. Brad was watching a girl across the room, and was about to get up and ask her to dance, when a young man that went to school with both Brad and I walked up and asked me to dance! I looked at Brad, smiled, then gave the guy my hand! As a stunned Brad watched, I folded into his arms as he swept me onto the dance floor!

"Did you see that! Jill just went with him!"

"And why not? She is very pretty Brad, and you know it!"

He watched my partner and I dancing, then looked back at the girl across the room. Finally he went over and asked her to dance, and found out that she went to another high school, a private one on the outskirts of town.

"My name is Bradley Benson, what's yours?"

"Carol Anson." She gave him one of her thousand watt smiles as he led her out on the dance floor. "Who is that knockout you're with Bradley?"

"Oh, that's my mother Janet." He knew what she meant of course, but our mother is still a beautiful woman and he felt sure he would make points with Carol by naming our mother.

"Not her silly, the blonde!"

"That's my… sister Jill. This is her first timeout of the house in a long time so we decided to go fancy tonight as a treat, and here we are!"

"She's very pretty Bradley." By just looking, he was more than aware of the impact I was having on the guy I was dancing with, and it seemed that Carol recognized it as well.

"She's okay, for a girl I mean." Carol gave him a playful tap on the shoulder and asked him to introduce her to me, his "sister". He brought her back to our table to meet mother, but she was also dancing, so they sat and waited.

I was escorted back to the table, and after I was seated, my escort sat down as well!

"Brad, this is Greg Thompson. He says you two know each other."

"Hi Greg, nice to see you again." Brad turned to Carol and introduced her to Greg and I. "I go to school with Greg, and this is my sister Jill."

She and Carol shook hands, and I smiled at her. "You are so pretty Jill! I feel like I'm wearing a sack!"

I was gracious and told her that I hardly thought she looked like she was wearing a sack, but I'll admit it, I loved the compliment anyway.

Greg said: "I have a car, maybe the four of us could go somewhere tomorrow night!" Greg was holding my hand under the table and he gave it a small squeeze, and I squeezed his back.

"That sounds like fun Brad, let's do it. We can go to the show or something!" Carol had made it clear that she wanted to go, and Brad wanted to be with Carol, so after a quick look at me, he said yes, at the same time I was nodding my head yes.

A tall handsome man named Ken escorted our mother back to the table. She introduced Brad and I, and Brad introduced Carol and Greg.

"We're double dating tomorrow Mrs. Benson, I asked Jill if she would like to go, and she said yes. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not Greg. I hope you kids have a nice time." Then mom said it was time to go, so Brad and I left with our mother for home. "You know that from now on Jill is your sister don't you?"

Brad didn't even hesitate. "She always was, wasn't she? I mean, look at her. Hell, on her first time out of the house with us she gets asked out!"

"Yes that's true Bradley, but now you have to support her no matter what happens." He merely nodded his head yes as his mother turned to me.

"You'll have to be perfect every time you dress like a girl Jill, just like tonight or you'll be found out. Going out on a date can be very risky, but I'll let you go because all young girls date, but you will act like a lady understand?"

"Yes mother. I understand." I looked at Brad and asked him if he could accept me, as Jill, at least once in a while.

"The minute you walked down those stairs, and I saw you, I'll admit that I was shocked. You didn't look anything like I thought you would, and after you started dancing with Greg, someone that has known you for years, I understood." Brad walked over and hugged me tight, pulling my breasts into his chest, which caused him to back away, even as he sneaked a look. "Those are real!" I nodded my head yes, then he started laughing. "I guess I was wrong about you all along Jill."

Then Bradley asked about Ken.

"He is single, my age, and has no children. His wife and daughter were killed in a car crash two years ago. He overheard you two planning to go out tomorrow night, so he asked me out, and I've decided to go!"

Brad and I smiled at each other, because we knew how lonely she was at times, and having a date was just the ticket to cheer her up. Then she told us that she had told Ken that she had a son and a daughter, not two sons.

"Well, I could hardly say: "This is my son Jeff, doesn't he look smashing in that dress, could I?"

That night we all went to bed knowing that we had all met someone we really liked, and for various reasons, it all centered on me. The next morning, all of us sat around the kitchen table having breakfast when mother asked me if I had something to wear that night on my date.

"I was planning on wearing a skirt and blouse, why?"

"I want to look over your clothes and see what you have, and what you need. Some people think you're really a girl, which means that everyone will pretty soon, so you'll have to have the clothes to be a girl whenever you want, or have to. Why don't you get dressed, we'll see what you have, and we'll go to the mall and see what we can find."

Bradley was happy enough staying home. Shopping bored him, and if mom and I were going, it would be just like when mom and our sister Audrey had gone shopping! I went to change, returning in a pair of tight jeans and a blouse. The cut of the jeans made it look as if I was a girl, and as my breasts pushed against the blouse, Brad was sure he could see a nipple, but I could see by his face that he thought that was impossible. He was wrong. I had brushed my hair out and it now swung around my shoulders in a flip.

Mom and I left for the mall after a quick look at the clothes I already had.

"What you have is very nice Jill, but you need a wider variety of clothes. For instance, you only have two skirts and you need at least six. Three blouses won't give you enough color choice either. Audrey left a few things you might be able to wear, so we'll check those before we leave, but we will definitely get you some more panties and at least one more bra."

After we looked at what Audrey had left, Mom went on to name everything I had wanted to buy, but up to now, could not afford, or had been afraid to buy. As we drove into the mall parking lot, she told me I needed one other thing.

"If we can find them, maybe you should get some first class breastforms as well."

"I know the place Mom, and it isn't here. Let's go buy them first, then everything else will probably fit better."

Mom looked at me, a little surprised that I would know where to buy breastforms, but then again she thought, I must have a line on everything I knew I would need, so she agreed and she drove out of the lot and back to the highway.

The shop was in a strip mall, a small shop that had a weather beaten sign out front. I went in followed by my mother. The old woman that greeted us with a smile, then she saw me.

"Hello again! Decide to buy them?"

"Yes Ma'am. But they are expensive, so my mother should probably see them first."

The woman went in the back and brought a box. When she opened it mom saw a perfectly natural looking breast!

"That looks very good!"

The woman merely smiled. "This is last years model. I have a newer one now that is much more realistic. Like these they will adhere to the skin for up to a month at a time. Let me show you.” Both mom and I picked up the breastform, and to both of us it felt like a breast, looked like a breast, and they were the color of natural skin!

"This particular model is made for girls that have at least some modest growth, which you already have. You're a small A cup, and this model, while only a partial form, will make you an full B cup, which is about right for a girl your size and age. Can I assume that you'll want to try them on?" I could hardly wait, and said yes right away. With a motion of her head, we followed the woman to the back of the shop. "Take your blouse and bra off dear."

When I was naked to the waist the woman, with no mention or reaction to my still mostly male chest, measured me up, then went to a shelf and brought down a box. She tried them against my skin, and after a quick check, went to get another pair. This set matched my skin tone exactly, and the woman used an adhesive to attach them to my chest.

"This glue comes off with alcohol and soap, just be careful when you remove them Jill." With her finger she pressed the edges down, and all of a sudden they seemed to be a part of me!

"Because you are such a sweet child I can let you have them for $200 each."

It was cheap and we both knew it, so mom wrote her a check as I put my bra and blouse back on. The weight of the breastforms, and the way they moved was an all-new experience for me, but I loved it, and quickly became used to having breasts that were almost the real thing, and better yet, I have some cleavage that was partially me! Mom was amazed at how easily I adopted the role of a female, and now, with breasts, it looked as if I was enjoying myself a whole lot more!

Back at the mall , under my mothers supervision, I tried on some bras and bought a plain white one and a peach colored one that looked as if I wasn't wearing one! Mom and I went to a large department store where I tried on and bought, several skirts and blouses, and three new dresses that I wanted. One of them was really short, but mom had seen other girls wearing them, so she let me get just that one. The other two were knee length or just above the knee. I also bought some more shoes and pantyhose. I wanted them, so I bought myself a nightgown and a powder blue babydoll outfit. Then we went home, where I put everything in my closet or dresser. While mother went to the kitchen to make a snack, I tried on one of my new skirts and a blouse that I had really liked. When mom called me into the kitchen, I walked in wearing what I had on, and saw Brad sitting there. He looked at me and saw the way my clothes fit, and knew that something was different, he just could not place it until I unbuttoned my blouse down to the front hook of my bra, and he saw the swelling breasts and almost gasped! It looked like I had grown boobs in just a few hours!

"Jill! Button up right now!"

"Aw Mom, I was just showing Brad the new bait!"

"Never mind the bait. Eat your lunch!"

That night I wore one of my new skirts and a white blouse with a sweater and my new flats. My makeup and hair were every bit as good as the night before, and I smelled great. Even Brad mentioned it, much to my continuing delight. Greg came by to get Brad and I, then the three of us went get Carol. Carol and I greeted each other like long lost sisters, and with Carol in the backseat with Brad, I sat next to Greg, or at least as close as I could with my seatbelt on. All during the movie Greg had his hand on my leg, but I had my hand over his to prevent accidental 'creep' so to speak. After the show we stopped at a fast food place and then he drove us to a place near the lake. When he was certain we were alone, he shut the lights off and pulled me closer to him. Brad did the same with Carol. It was my first real kiss, and I shivered as I felt his tongue probe my mouth. I allowed him to kiss me, then I felt his hand on my breast! He gently squeezed me, and I felt it! But I did not want to go this far, so I moved his hand, yet he still held me close until Carol and I told them to take us home.

In the house, Brad smiled at me with that Chesire cat grin of his.

"I guess you passed the girl test Jill. He bought it all!"

"And why not? I may not have all the parts a normal girl has but I have a lot to offer!"

"I guess. Goodnight Jill."

I had been worried about my own maleness causing me a problem, but the way I had prepared earlier, with my homemade pad had not allowed for an embarrassing moment. As I slipped into bed, I thought about the way Greg tasted. His cologne and musky male smell had excited me, yet it had never happened before, and I had seen plenty of male bodies and not once had I gotten excited.

We all slept late, then I helped clean the house while Brad cleaned the garage and yard. I had on a pair of jeans Audrey had left behind and a thin T-shirt with flats and my hair in a ponytail when the door opened and in walked my Grandmother!

"Audrey?"

But after a closer second look, she still did not know the young lady standing there. She could see my trim waist and the firm young boobs straining at the T-shirt, the way the jeans fit me, and thought,

"This looks like Jeff," but it can't be! Mom saw Grandmother and came to stand next to me.

"Mom, this is Jill."

"Hello Jill. Have we met before?"

I was rooted to the spot, like a deer in the headlights, wanting to run and knowing I could not. As I felt the lump rising in my throat I nodded my head yes. It took all of my willpower because I really loved my Grandmother. Of all of the grandchildren I was the favorite and I now knew that my Grandmother knew my secret!

"Yes Grandma. You know me; but not like this. I'm… Jeff."

Before Grandmother could say or do anything, mom, standing next to me, told her what was going on. We all sat at the kitchen table as she relayed everything to my Grandmother. It took almost 30 minutes.

"I see. So now you are Jill. Just how long is this going to last?" Up to now I had kept my deepest secret to myself, but now, after going out on a date, it seemed like the time to tell everyone, and for the first time say it out loud.

"Forever I hope Grandma. This is the real me!"

Then I started to cry and ran to my room, leaving mom and Grandmother alone. "She is under a lot of stress mother. This is the first time she has opened up about herself, and she's afraid that we will not love her anymore."

"That poor child!" My Grandmother was a very independent, well educated, and open minded woman, but while she was not well versed in the dilemma that I found myself in, she was smart enough to know that males do not just put on a dress and decide to become women on a whim. It went much deeper, and was more personal that that. "Let me talk to her."

My Grandmother came to my bedroom and slowly opened the door. I was sitting on the bed, and turned to see who was coming into my bedroom.

"Come to laugh at me Grandma?"

The small energetic woman marched right up to me, and with her hands on her hips looked down at me. "How dare you say that to me! Stand up and let me get a good look at you." I stood, and in a moment found myself in the arms of my Grandmother. "You are what you are honey, and nobody can change that."

We stayed in my bedroom for almost an hour as I poured my heart out and revealed everything about my dreams. At last, emotionally exhausted and dry eyed, Grandmother and I went back to the kitchen.

"I was beginning to think that you two had run away!"

Grandmother looked at mom and with that steely look of hers, the one that gave a single eyebrow when she was pissed, and said: "The Benson's do not run from problems Janet, we accept what we cannot change and go on. Jill and I had a very nice chat. Now, I think that she and I should spend some more time together. When does school let out for the summer?"

"Jill has three days left next week, why?"

"I asked Jill to come stay with me for a while. Maybe we can learn from each other."

My mother knew that the connection between my Grandmother and I had always been very strong, and felt that it might be good for both of us, so she nodded her head yes.

"I'll call you Mom. Maybe she can come on Saturday morning."

Everyone relaxed, and we had a nice afternoon. That night, I removed the breastforms and put them in the small boxes they came in. Wearing male clothes felt so different, and I had to watch that I did not use any overtly feminine gestures that had become so natural in just a few days. It was a very long three days as I looked forward to being able to wear what I thought of as my own, natural clothes. I missed the pull of the weight on my chest and the restraining tension of bra straps. On Wednesday after school, after I had cleaned out my locker and had gone home, I once again put on the breastforms, this time with the long lasting adhesive, and got dressed. Wearing a skirt and blouse, with full makeup and my hair done, I started dinner.

Brad had a date with Carol and I was home alone when I heard the doorbell ring. I opened the door and saw Greg standing there!

"Can we talk Jill?" I let him in, and we sat in the familyroom. "The kids at school said that Brad has a sister, but her name was Audrey, and she graduated two years ago. They also say that Brad had a brother named Jeff. Is he here?"

I knew that without a doubt, I had been found out. It was in his voice and posture. Even his face looked tense and tight. I had to be brave, some inner something told me not to lie, but tell the truth, so I drew in a breath, and told him.

"Greg, I knew a very long time ago what I was, but just recently acted on it." I took another deep breath, and told him. "Greg, it's true. I'm Jeff, or, I was. Now, I'm Jill." I did not say anymore, waiting for a reaction. He sat back and I watched as his face turned red. Then he suddenly stood up.

"You lied to me Jill! I thought you were the perfect girl! Now I find out you're a guy!" I instantly realized that if I did not stand up for myself then nobody else would, so I also stood up.

"You thought it was real nice when you had your hand on my leg and your tongue down my throat! You thought I was a girl in every way!" I walked up to him and stood close. "It's true that I can't be a girl in every possible way, but I am more girl than you think." I put his hand on my left breast, and said, "And better than most! I'm a girl by choice, not an accident of birth! If you can't accept me for what I am then I don't think I want you as a friend no matter how I dress!" I removed his hand and sat back down, tears coming to my eyes. He did not expect me to admit that I was Jeff. He wanted me to laugh and say I was really a girl! Now he didn't know what to do. He liked me, as Jill, and he thought I liked him. But what would the other kids say when they found out that Jill, me, was really a guy named Jeff?

Before he could say anything I looked at him. "I know exactly what you're thinking Greg. I had the same thoughts. "What are the other kids going to think?" I stood up and went to the kitchen with him right behind me. "Well, the hell with them! My Grandma say that I am what I am and nobody can change that. I think she's right!" I stood up straight and looked at him. "I intend to keep on being a girl Greg, and I want you to be my friend, but friends accept each other for what they are, not what they aren't." I moved closer to him. "What about it? Are you going to be my friend?" He was so overwhelmed by my reaction that he did not know what to say! "But she sure did look nice when she was angry" he thought. He reached out to take my hand, then pulled me close and gently put his lips to mine.

"I guess I was wrong Jill. You're right. The hell with everyone else!" I started crying, and he, like most guys, didn't know what to do. I dabbed at my eyes and smiled at him and he kissed me again and asked if he could come over later that night.

I finished making dinner, and after I set the table I put the food out just as mom came home from work. Since Brad was not home, the two of us ate alone, and I told her what had happened that afternoon.

"It sounds like he was just as afraid as Brad was, just like you were afraid to be yourself all those years doesn't it?" I nodded my head in agreement.

"Mom, if Greg knows then everyone else knows too." Right at that moment I realized something. "Mom, if everybody knows then they can't hurt me with it! It's the opposite of a deep secret! Until now, nobody knew but me, and I was safe. Now, everybody knows and they can't hurt me with it!"

I visibly relaxed, until mother brought me back to earth. "Jill, there will always be people that don't understand or care. All they fix on is that you were born a male and should be one no matter what. Those are the people that you have to worry about, and they can still hurt you with snide remarks, and maybe even violence. If you plan to keep dressing as a girl then you had better plan on being hurt along the way."

That night Greg came over to see me, but until I felt he was sincere, I didn't want to leave the house, so we sat on the patio. Mom left us alone to figure out our relationship.

I sat on the lounge chair, my legs close together and my hands in my lap as Greg walked over to me. He offered his hands to me and I took them and stood up.

"I was worried about what everyone else would say Jill. I was wrong, and no matter how hard I try, I can't get over how good you look. I want to be your friend; a close friend."

He moved closer to me and added:, "A very close friend." Then he kissed me. I felt like crying again, but as I felt his arms go around me I seemed to melt into him. I had my arms around his neck as we kissed harder, an urgent need to become one that was growing for both of us. Greg did not know why he was so attracted to me, he knew that I was actually a male like him, but I was so much of a girl that he had a hard time keeping that thought in his mind. Especially when he was with me, kissing me, talking to me, or just being in the same room as I was. He was in love, and like most men, did not know it yet. I had discovered so much about myself in a just a few days, and I wanted to discover more. To be more of a woman, more feminine, and more secure in myself. Greg was letting me do all of these things.

I took his hand as we went for a walk around the block, stopping at a small neighborhood park down the street. In the darkness he pulled me to him and I felt his hand on my bottom as he pulled me as close as possible. I could also feel his urgent need pressing against my leg, and no matter what I tried, I began to focus on his maleness. Finally, I pulled away, and he walked me home. After Greg went home, I went to my room and put the babydoll nightgown on. The thin gauzy material did nothing to hide my breasts, even after I wrapped the robe around myself. Feeling sexy as hell, I joined my mother to watch the television. Mom saw the way I looked in the babydoll and recognized the overt sex appeal I had, but did not say anything. Brad came in, saw me, and I heard him gasp a bit. Smiling to myself I got up, and with my robe undone, walked to the kitchen for a soda. He could not miss seeing my breasts as they poked hard against the powder blue material and, he saw, my maleness seemed to have disappeared. He watched me as I walked so sexily back to the familyroom. "That was very naughty Jill." I smiled at mother, and retorted right back. "Well, he has to see me sometime, and now is as good a time as any!" Mom just shook her head as Brad sat down and joined us watching the late news.
The next day I cleaned the house, then I changed into a skirt and blouse and went shopping. I didn't buy anything, but I enjoyed the sense of freedom my admission of wanting to be a girl gave me. When I returned home there was a message from my Grandmother, so I quickly returned the call. It was another invitation to spend a week with her. I went to my room and started packing right then. Since I still didn't have that much in the way of clothes, I took almost everything. Then I left a note for Mom, and after I had everything packed in my small car, I drove to Grandma's house.

She met me at the door, and we quickly moved my clothes, and when I was settled in one of the spare bedrooms, and we had a bite to eat. "I was thinking about you Jill. Since you are going to be a girl for a while, the summer at least, maybe you would like to go with me for my weekly appointment at the salon. You can get your hair styled and maybe your nails done." "I'd like that Grandma, I really would, I've had never had my hair styled before, and I'm looked forward to it."

The next morning, after breakfast, we went to the salon. I watched as the girl worked on Grandma, and when she was under the dryer I was asked to sit in the same chair. "Your Grandma says that it's been forever since you had your hair trimmed, do you have any particular style in mind?" I didn't, so the stylist and I looked in a few books until I found a style I liked and the stylist agreed on. The stylist washed my hair first, then cut it. A tint was added, then my hair was rolled and gel put on. I sat under the dryer while her Grandma had her hair brushed out, then it was my turn. The rollers were taken out and my hair was trimmed a bit more. As my hair was brushed out I watched in the mirror as the entire back of my head was covered with curls while the top was fluffed up and my bangs were trimmed. On the sides my hair now caressed my cheeks and the length was now above my collar. It was a cute cut, and made me look even more feminine! "Okay Jill. You're done here." I thanked her, and followed her Grandma to the nail area. "My granddaughter has an appointment, Jill Benson." Not knowing what to expect I sat and watched as the woman first cleaned my nails, trimmed them a bit, then they were covered with acrylic plastics making my nails slightly longer, then she trimmed and polished them with soft red enamel. The longer nails made my fingers look narrower and longer, and I felt great with my whole new look. I couldn't help it, I smiled at my reflection in the huge mirror, the glow in my eyes hard to miss.

In my heart I had known this girl all my life, and now she was actually real. It was every dream of mine come true, and my emotions, stretched so often by despair, frustration and fear seemed to grow calm all at once. "Feel better Jill?" I can't tell you in words Grandma" but my smile must have said it all. "You are what you are Jill, always remember that. All we did today was let you express yourself a bit better. Now, let's go see what else we can find for you." I drove as her Grandma gave me the directions. "I know a specialty shop that might have something special for a girl like you. A woman I went to school with owns the shop. She worked in Hollywood for years, and after she retired she found that she missed the work and opened her shop. I called her yesterday, and she says she can help you." I waited for Grandma to say more, but she did not.

The shop was in the woman's house, which was located in a far suburb, in a subdivision of very nice homes. "She only takes very special cases and only works by word of mouth." We walked up to the house and were admitted by an woman my Grandmothers age. "Jill, this is Grace, a long time friend of mine." Grace looked at me and asked if this was a joke, as if she really didn't believe that I needed her help. "Grace, this is actually my grandson Jeff!" Grace looked at me carefully, shook her head and then she smiled. "I never would have guessed! You're a lovely girl dear." Then she led the way to her workshop. After rummaging in a few drawers, she pulled out an item and showed it to us. "I found this on the Internet, bought one, and improved it." Jill, would you strip for me please?" I looked at Grandma who nodded her head yes, and I slowly took my clothes off until I was wearing nothing but my panties. "Those too dear." I was very embarrassed, but I slowly took them off and Grace saw the way I had managed to hide my maleness, smiled, and said, "I see you neatly solved that problem Jill. Lay down on the table and I'll remove it." I did as she asked, and as soon as the bandage was removed I felt very vulnerable, and ashamed to be seen this way.

Grace left for a moment, returning with a panty. "This is a special panty Jill. Let me show you how to put it on." It took her 20 minutes to explain how the panty worked. "Take this gel and go in there and put the panty on." I took everything and went into the small room where I followed the instructions carefully as I pulled the panty on. As I pulled them higher I felt my maleness being flattened, and as the panty reached my waist it seemed to grab my skin and become one with me. I stepped out of the room and stood in front of Grace and Grandma. "Damn Grace! You never said it would look so… I mean it's as if she was a real girl!" Grace smiled and came over to me. "Is it comfortable Jill?" "Yes Ma'am." "Then let me show you something. It's gross, as the kids say, but it might come in handy one night." She took a penis shaped object, told me to spread my legs a bit, and after she lubricated it, she shoved it gently into what seemed to be my vagina! She removed it and stood back. "This panty allows you to have a relationship with a man without the surgery. However, you have to keep yourself clean like any other woman would. The panty has both bottom and hip pads built into it, so you will have no need for that padded pantybrief." I quickly went in the bathroom and cleaned myself up then put my panties back on. They fit me a lot better now, just like they would a real girl.

I put my bra on and then the rest of her clothes and almost immediately I could sense how much better all of my clothes fit. My skirt hung better, and with every step I could now feel my hips swaying. They could both see I was beaming, my smile a positive testament to my desires and Grace's skills. "Thank you Grace, thank you so much!" I hugged her and stood back. Both of the women were smiling at me. "Feel better Jill?" Oh yes Grandma! It's wonderful! I never knew that anyone could do something like this!" "Yes, well, Grace is a magician with latex and foam rubber!"

My Grandmother paid the bill and we left the woman's house. While they were driving back home Grandma mentioned something else Grace had told her. "Grace told me the panty has a small, built in stub that will prevent you from getting an erection, which could be very embarrassing!" "Grandma!" "You know I'm right child so hush up and enjoy it!" That afternoon Grandma and I changed into swimsuits and went in her backyard pool. I was wearing a suit my mother had sent over, an old one Audrey had left behind. It was a full suit in all blue with a red stripe. I was careful, like Grandma told me, to keep my hair dry.

Brad came over with mom, just as I was coming out of the bathroom, and I had no choice except to wrap a towel around myself and run by as fast as I could, right past him, almost totally naked! His eyes popped out as I raced by, and into my room, the towel barely covering me since I had it around my neck. I had not expected company and did not take a robe with me, so Brad saw me, completely naked and thought I had undergone some kind of magical transformation! He went to join mom in the kitchen. "I, um, saw Jill. Mom, I think you should go talk to her." By the tone of his voice she jumped up and came to my room just as I was bending over to get some clean panties out of the dresser. "Jill?" I stood up and turned to face mom, who took one look and almost fainted! "It's okay Mom. It's a special panty that's all." Mom came up to me and touched my hip, and it felt warm!" "Grace said it would conduct body heat and I could sense a touch through it mom." Mom watched as I quickly put on my panties and bra, then some shorts and a top. Mom also did not miss the new hairstyle or the nails. "It looks like you've had a busy day Jill, but I like the hair!" As soon as I was dressed we went out and rejoined Brad and Grandma on the patio. Brad had seen for himself the changes that I had undergone, and felt sure that my days as Jeff had left forever!

"I'm sorry Brad, I didn't know you were there or I would have waited." "That's okay, its not like I've never seen a naked girl before, but as a brother, you sure make a hell of a girl! I was shocked that's all." Before I could say anything, he added: "I like your hair that way Jill. That looks real nice on you." Mom and Grandma were walking down by the flowerbeds, strolling along when Grandma told her about the special qualities of the panty I had on. "You mean to tell me she can have sex?" Grandma nodded her head yes, and told her that Grace had even showed her. "So it's no secret to her Janet, and given the way she looks and feels about herself, it would not surprise me if she tried it! Mom remembered how she felt at the same age and could sympathize with me. The only thing positive about it, if I did submit to a boy, was that unlike a born girl, I could not get pregnant.

Later, after mom and Brad had left, Grandma and I had a girl to girl talk about men. "You can't get pregnant that's true, but you are not a slut either Jill, so be careful about your new found abilities." That made me smile, because I did indeed think about proving my feminine ways to a particular boy I knew. "Okay Grandma. No casual sex. I promise!" That brought a smile to my Grandma's face, because she knew that I was trying to pull her chain a little. The next day Grandma and I went shopping.

Grandma told me that there was a dress she wanted me to try on, and I eagerly agreed. We went to her room, and I tried it on, but the minute I tried to zip it up it was obvious that my waist was way too large for the dress. Grandma told me she knew how to make it fit. So far all of my clothes fit pretty good, and except for a corsolet, I had no idea about the pain many women went through to look nice, but I was about to learn. Grandma took me to a lingerie shop where, much to my shock, I was laced into a heavily boned corset that looked more like something made to torture someone rather than give them an hourglass figure! I was huffing and puffing as the corset was tightened around me, but when the woman said she was done, I had a 22 inch waist! "Now we can have you try on the dress Jill!" I tried it on, and it fit me perfectly! Then we drove back to Grandma's house with me huffing and puffing all the way.

It was yards and yards of satin and lace over a hoop that held it all out, in a huge circle. The dress was an off white, off the shoulder style that reminded me of dresses in the movie Gone with the wind. My cleavage was prominently displayed, and my hands could rest on the dress it stuck out so far, but I loved it! "Maybe you can wear it somewhere Jill. You can have the dress if you like." "Oh Grandma, thank you!" It took both of us to get the dress off, but always stubborn, I left the corset on for a while longer before I took it off. Relief passed over me as the hard stays were removed and I began to feel my ribs returning to normal again. "You used to wear one of those?" "All of the time Jill. It was the style back then. They used to start girls wearing a corset at the age of 12 so that they would be able to have a small waist when they turned into young ladies!" I spent the rest of the week at Grandma's learning how to be a woman. My Grandmother was a very wise woman, and never once talked down to me, or gave any indication that she did not like what I was doing. Instead, she taught me how to be a lady.

At home, once I had settled back in, I got the number from Brad and called Carol and we made a date to go shopping. She told me she needed a new swimsuit, her old one is a little tight. I no longer had any fear of discovery, especially with the special panty and my breastforms, so I looked forward to shopping with a girl almost my own age. In the store we crowded into a changing booth as Carol tried on several suits. "Why don't you get one Jill? I'll bet Greg would like to see a little more of you!" I had not considered it, but the idea sounded great and I found a few that I liked. Carol was in the changing room with me as I stripped down and changed into the first one. It was a full cut suit and looked terrible. Carol handed me a bikini, and I put it on, saw the way it fit, and smiled. The suit had panties similar to hot pants and the bra was just as revealing, and I knew that I had found just the right suit! Carol and I walked around for a while until we stopped at a café for a coffee. "Jill, to be honest with you, there is a rumor that you are a guy, but then I saw you naked today, and I have to admit it, I never saw a guy that looked like you do! You're as much a girl as I am!" I smiled at that, because now the rumor would be that I was really a girl, and better, always had been!

Greg called me that night, and we made a date for Friday night. I had gotten used to having my hair pop back into place after a shower, the permanent having done the trick for me, and now that I had learned how to function with longer nails, I was able to get ready pretty quickly. For my date I decided to wear my short green skirt and my thinnest blouse with high heels. I was about to seduce Greg, and he had no clue what I was about to do to his ego. I used my best perfume and brightest lipstick, and when I walked down the stairs, mother only shook her head at the way I now looked. Every trace, sign or indication that I was a male had disappeared. It its place was a very pretty, feminine, well dressed young lady. Every movement and action was feminine, even in the way I had started talking. Mom said she noticed that I giggled more, and all of my sentences ended on an up note, just like every other woman. Greg came to the door, took one look at me and was in love all over again. It was written all over his face, which gave me a thrill. My blouse was unbuttoned to reveal a hint of my delights, and my skirt barely went past mid thigh! After he said hello to Brad and mom, he took my hand and we left for the show.

Later, as we left the show, I asked him if he knew a private place we could go. "Very private Greg!" He did, and as he drove us there, he began to wonder what I had in mind, but did not ask. He pulled up under the trees so we could look out at the lake far below. Clouds filtered by, and the moon was low in the sky. "Kiss me" I said, and he pulled me closer and did as I asked, his tongue probing my mouth. As I moved closer to him I put his hand on my leg and let him stroke back and forth. His stroke against the soft nylon gave me an electric chill, and as his hand moved upwards, I did not stop him. He turned to me, and when his hand touched me, I saw his eyes open wide as I managed to put my hand on his. His other hand found my breast, and as he massaged me, he tried to unzip his pants, but I stopped him." "Let me" was all I said. I unbuckled his pants and unzipped them, but like many teenage boys, he was unable to wait, and had prematurely messed himself before anything happened. He tried to smile it away, but he was ashamed of what had happened. I turned away as he used a tissue to clean up.

He took me home, now totally confused. His first reaction to me was one of lust, which confused him because he knew I was a male! I had told him myself that I was Jeff and yet, we had just spent a very enjoyable hour necking and more, he had touched me, and found a girl, which thoroughly confused him because of what I had told him before. Now he thought I was a girl, but I had said I wasn't. But I was sure that he was more attracted to me than ever before! When we first met he was pretty sure he wasn't gay, but I turned him on like a lightbulb. Now he thinks I'm a girl, which made it okay. He kissed me goodnight and watched as I ran in the house.

In my room I quickly undressed, took my panties off and rinsed them out. I could not get an erection, but I had also spent myself! My panties had soaked up most of my own stuff, which had leaked out, but I gleefully cleaned myself up and put on my nightgown and went to bed. I had let Greg take me down that one way street, but then I did something I had never considered before. I had done more than kiss another guy, and I liked it! In the heat of my mind I had planned on having sex with Greg, but then he had that accident. In my mind it seemed like the right thing to do, because now I knew that I wanted, and would continue as a girl. It was something that I always knew, and found out that I was right. Being a woman gave me such a high, a feeling of completeness that was missing, and I knew I could not give it up. As I lay in bed I smiled to myself because I did not think what I did was wrong. Girls date boys, they have some kind of sex with them, they enjoy it, and I was a girl, so why not enjoy it? Sleep came quickly for me as dreams of Greg came to me in my sleep.

I simply could not go back to being the boy Jeff again. In my mind I was more of a female than a male, I had the figure and seemed to have the right body parts of a female, and even my way of thinking had changed to accommodate my new self. To even think of cutting my hair, and remove what made me seem so feminine was out of the question. In the morning I put on a nice skirt and blouse and went looking for a job. I found one in a small office as a clerk. Barely above minimum wage, but it was my money, and I no longer spent my days lounging around. Because my legal name is still Jeff, I put my first initial on the application, which got me hired. Mom said I should probably tell my employer what was going on, since she would find out anyway the minute she reported my earnings.

The next day I told my boss what my exact situation was, expecting her to fire me, but she didn't. Instead she told me that as long as the work got done she did not care what I wore! As the summer passed Greg and I dated almost every weekend while Brad and Carol also became close. My sister Audrey came home for a weekend, which is when she met me for the first time. Her reaction was one of indifference. She didn't really say anything either way, but I think she didn't approve of my change that much. But she also never criticized me. She left for school on Sunday, mom saying after she left that Audrey was leaving with the dry taste of doubt in her mind about my becoming a girl. But she also said Audrey knew I really had no choice in the matter, and she was glad that now I had my own clothes!
School was going to start soon, so, after some discussion with my mother, I was enrolled at the same private school as Carol. She had to wear a uniform, but it was just a skirt and blouse, so I was happy. After I started that fall I became just another student in the all girl school, and now that most of my tensions had been resolved, my marks were always near the top in grade point so mom let me drive myself to school every day. After about five weeks, Mom, Brad and I all knew that I would never go back to being a male. It wasn't a great leap to take, and after a lot of discussion and a complete examination by the doctor, I started taking hormones when was still in the first half of my first term of my junior year. By the time Christmas arrived, I already had a modest amount of hip and breast growth. It wasn't all that noticeable to anyone else, but I knew it. I could feel every ounce of the changes taking place. I still wore the breastforms and panty, but I knew it wouldn't be long before I could be myself and become even more natural.

Near the end of the first term, when Christmas was approaching, Brad and I received a card from our Aunt Betty. She was coming this year, and she was bringing her daughter Wendy with her. I hated the woman with a passion, and her daughter Wendy was a just smaller version of her mother. Sloppy in her dress, careless in her grooming habits, and also like her mother, she thought that everyone was wrong except her of course. Brad and I went to mom and showed her the card. "I think I'll stay at the school while she's here mother! I can't stand that woman and you know it. Besides, think about what she'll do when she meets Jill instead of Jeff!" Mom did not have a great liking for her sister either, but she had no choice in the matter. Your stuck with the family you have.

"I'll call Grandma and see what she can do. No matter what, you are Jill now and you're staying that way. I'll not have you change for that woman!" Brad and I went back to our own rooms and waited for whatever was going to happen next. Later in the week mom got a call from her mother. "I told Betty about Jill and her situation, and I also told her to behave herself or I would let everyone know who Wendy's real father is!" "You mean it's not Jack!" "Of course not Janet! Jack is gay and he has never had a relationship with a woman! He married Betty when she found out she was pregnant because he was her friend. That's why she never pressed him for support." Mom, like the rest of us, had always thought Jack was Wendy's father! "I'll tell Jill not to worry about Betty. She will be very relieved!"

Audrey came home on the day Greg took me to the Christmas dance. It wasn't the first time she had ever seen me even though mom had called and told her about all of the changes that had taken place. Audrey told me that she had read up on the subject, and now she warmly accepted me. On the day of the dance, Grandma, mom, and Audrey helped me get ready. They all said I was very lovely, and there was no doubt about it, which stunned Audrey, especially when she saw a naked girl instead of a padded out male. I met Greg's parents that night, and I was invited by Greg to come to his house on Christmas day, which I accepted.

We had a wonderful time at the dance as I floated in that gossamer dress Grandma bought just for me. That night, as Audrey was getting ready for bed, I came in and after we greeted each other, Audrey helped me get the dress off, and I undressed down to my panties. When Audrey saw how much I had changed she once again gasped, because her first view of me did not reveal my groin area, and it looked like I now had a female body! I put on my nightgown, said good night, and went to bed, with no explanation at all! On Christmas morning we sat around the tree in our nightwear and opened our gifts. I had bought Brad a portable CD player and a few disks, while he gave me a packaged set of perfumes and some makeup. Audrey got money from all of us. We gave mom a joint gift. It was a beautiful nightgown and robe set, and a party dress in red with matching shoes and handbag. We ate a quick breakfast and went to get dressed. As soon as I heard that Betty was coming, I knew exactly what I was going to wear. For Brad it was easy, nice slacks and a sweater. For Audrey, mom and I, it was a selection based on who was going to be at the party.

I took a bubblebath, then pulled on my only pair of satin panties. The white satin, contrasting with my skin, made me look and feel very sexy! I had a matching satin bra with lace trim on the demi-cups. It was a front hook, and as I closed the hooks I felt myself being pulled together. A smile traced my lips the minute I saw my cleavage, which was all my own by then, having dispensed with the breast forms a few months earlier. I pulled on the waist nipper and then sat at my vanity to do my makeup. Audrey sat on the bed and watched as I managed to turn into what she called a raving beauty. I put my pantyhose on, then the dress.

It was an all white chemise with a scoop neckline, and I wore red as an accent color, my jewelry, shoes, belt, handbag, and jacket were all red. Even my lipstick was a bright red! My perfume was a very alluring scent that I had discovered, which also drove Greg crazy. Audrey was in awe at the casual way in which I had created a very foxy woman! "You look pretty good Jill! I never thought it was possible for a guy to look so nice as a woman!" Audrey could not help but ask, "I couldn't help but notice that you don't have a… I mean you have a, um… you have girls parts!" "Neat isn't it! Fake, but neat!" I grinned and grabbed her purse, leaving Audrey without a complete explanation. "I have a date to meet Greg's family this morning. See you later!" Audrey watched me leave, and sighed, Wondering why her brother, dressed as Jill looked so much better than she did!

Greg came to get me, then we went back to his house where I was introduced to his parents again. His mother gave me the critical eye of course. All mothers do that, and mom had told me to be prepared for it. I was extra careful, but his Dad hugged me and accepted me like a daughter. His mother eased off a bit and we started chatting over tea. It was a wonderful afternoon and both of his parents asked me to come back. At home, Audrey and mom had set the table and most of the food was ready. Grandma was there, but Betty and Wendy had not arrived yet.
When Betty and her daughter did arrive, I was the one that opened the door to let them in. Betty did not recognize me right away, but she soon found out who I was, and the small digs started. I took it for as long as I could, finally jumping up ready to retaliate when my brother Brad pulled me back down to the couch. "Betty, I know you have a small mind, but try to understand. Jill is here to stay now. She is my sister and no matter what you think of it, or her, she is family. We accept you even thought you are a colossal pain in the ass. We accept Wendy even though she'll sleep with any guy that wants to date her. How can we do less than accept Jill? She's bright, pretty, and pleasant to be around, so butt out!" Every person in the room sucked in their breath waiting for Betty to say something, but she was so angry that no words came out! My Grandmother was watching, and when Betty turned a nice purple shade, she spoke up. "Betty, you don't know what is going on, and you have no idea why she is being allowed to dress this way; so it's probably better that you remain quiet or we will have a discussion about John. Remember John?" Betty did. He was the real father of Wendy, not the man that Wendy thought it was. Betty managed to swallow her anger and the rest of the day was reasonably pleasant for everyone.

It had been the first time Brad had come to my rescue, and I'll admit that I loved it. It meant that he had finally accepted me as his sister rather than as his brother in a dress. I wanted to hug him right then, but waited until everyone had left. "Thank you Brad. Betty was getting me angry." "Well, you are my sister now aren't you? And I also protect mom and Audrey?" He stood straight up, all six foot five of him, and smiled at me. "I never really understood it all Jill, until I saw you naked that time. That's when I knew my brother was gone, no matter what else happened." He reached out and took me into his arms and held me tight as he stroked my hair.

As the weather changed and spring grew near, I no longer wore that panty all the time. I had become quite small by then. My own breasts had grown to fill a full A cup easily, and with a bit of padding I could still wear my B cup bras. Greg and I saw each other every weekend, and when he asked me to the spring dance, I said yes of course, and I had the perfect dress in mind! Mom and I went to my Grandmothers house where we planned on picking her up for a shopping trip, but she had other ideas. "I found a dress in storage that I want you to try on Jill. I wore it way back when." She did not say how far back when was. I undressed and once again was wrapped in that corset.

I tried on the dress, and it was beautiful! Royal blue satin with a royal blue lace over lay that covered from my neck down over my breasts with sleeves to match. "It needs to be taken up a little, but otherwise it fits you perfect Jill!" Mom and I took the dress home, along with the corset. The next day I went out and bought some satin shoes and had then dyed to match the dress and had some baby pearls sewn on the shoes. As the day of the prom approached I started a diet so that the corset would not be as uncomfortable during the long night.

It took me all day to get ready, what with a hair and nail appointment, a long bubblebath, and almost two hours to get dressed. Greg came to get me, and one look at me in that dress made his eyes pop out! He said I looked like a satin doll! I had my hair fixed in a Gibson with baby pearls woven in; my makeup and nails were perfect, and the way I wore the dress allowed a substantial view of my cleavage. It was cumbersome to get in the car, but I managed, and at the dance I saw many of my old friends although they did not recognize me now. I had changed so much that it would have been impossible to say that under all of that satin was a boy. After the prom, Greg took me home and I quickly changed into a more normal dress, and the two of us went to several parties, then to a secluded spot he had picked out well in advance I'm sure.

He quickly pulled me to him and I folded into him without resistance. We kissed and I let him touch my breast, which drove me crazy with desire, a shiver running down my back and he felt me seem to melt under his touch. He had his hand on my leg, and I made no move to stop him as he reached under my dress. He moved a bit, and unzipped his pants, then, he made love to me. He spent himself and finally pulled away from me. I pulled my panties back on and straightened my dress. I watched as he struggled with his pants, giggling as he struggled around the steering wheel.

From that moment on I knew my future was settled. He took me home, and as I lay in my bed that night I thought about what I had done. I had submitted to him, as a woman, and he had accepted me as a woman. Smiling I drifted off to sleep. During the next year my body developed as any young woman's would, until at last, during the spring break I went to the clinic and had the surgery. It was two months before I felt no pain or discomfort, but I was complete now. My transition from male to female was over.

Audrey and I became closer, more like the sister's we should have been from the beginning. Greg and I drifted apart after school, but I met a man while I was in college, and after we had graduated, we got married. Then we had two children using a new technique. Eggs harvested from Audrey were inseminated with my husband's sperm, and the embryo implanted in my abdomen. I gave birth after a full term pregnancy by caesarian section. Mom of course became a doting Grandmother and my brother Brad, who is still single, played parent once in a while, spoiling the kids every chance he got. Betty was furious at the way my life turned out, a boy becoming a girl, while her daughter had two more children by unnamed fathers. "I guess you are what you are" my Grandmother said, smiling while she our held our youngest, a girl we had named after her. Sarah Ann is her name.

My Little Black Dress

Janet L. Stickney

[email protected]

I had gone out to pick up a few items I needed, like pantyhose and new eye shadow, just another fear filled adventure into the outer world. I always felt edgy buying those things that guys didn't usually buy, so I had gotten dressed and bravely went out once again to buy the few things I needed, before I scurried home. I had yet to have anyone figure out that I wasn't a girl, or, at the very least, if they did, they never mentioned it. I paid the bill and casually walked outside towards my car to drive home, but as I turned the corner, I saw him standing there.

My real name is Ethan, I'm 16, and I live at home with my dad, just the two of us. He works a lot and is on the road quite a bit, which usually left me plenty of time to indulge myself. My room is my sanctuary, and dad never went in there unless I invited him, so I had never made any real attempt to hide my girls clothes. I was wearing tight jeans made for a girl, a light blue pullover top that hugged my midriff and my loafers, my hair brushed out to a fuller but definitely feminine hairstyle with full makeup, earrings and a thin watch, light perfume, and soft red lipstick. When I turned the corner and saw him, my first reaction was to spin around and run like hell, but I couldn't do that. No matter what else I did, that would probably make things worse, and besides, where would I go? My dad stood there leaning on my car, not recognizing me at first, then his eyes grew wider as I grew closer. There wasn't any way I could avoid some kind of confrontation, so my only hope was that he didn't start screaming or something like that. With all of the other people around I had no choice but to maintain my composure, and continued to walk with a decidedly feminine sway to my well rounded hips. When we were standing together…

"Ethan? Is this what you do when I'm gone? What's going on?"

"Can we talk at home dad? Isn't this is a little to public?"

"Straight home! I'll see you there!"

You could say that "running away" was on my mind, knowing that I was going to have to face my father, and of course, he certainly didn't sound all that thrilled to find me dressed as a girl. He was there before I arrived, so I parked behind his car and went in the house and set my purse and stuff on the kitchen table just as he walked into the room. Standing there like that, I managed to force myself to stand like a girl would. I figured my only hope would be to remove any doubt in his mind that I could go out without being discovered.

"I want you to tell me what's going on Ethan, and I want to know why your closet is filled with skirts and dresses! I want to know why you're all dressed up like a girl! Just how long has this been going on!?"

There wasn't any way to avoid his questions, so…"Since before mom ran off with that guy dad. She used to buy me things and help me, and when she left, I started buying them myself. I don't know why, but once in a while I just have to get dressed up! I'll go change."

"Sit!" He commanded, so I sat down. "What I should do is whip your butt! You know better than to…you know I don't hold any biases, but…I just can't understand why you're all dressed up like a girl! You have great grades, you always do the chores, you've even dated a few times, so why this? I mean, it's so…"

There was only one way to make him understand how I felt, but that would have to be tempered by glaring facts that he couldn't refute, so with nothing more to lose, I dove right in, hoping he would listen.

"Dad? If I'm doing everything you expect from me, then why can't I do this? I mean, it doesn't hurt anyone, and like you just said, I always take care of the house and stuff, so why not? I mean, you treat me almost like a wife! I do the laundry, I make the dinners, I clean the house, I buy the groceries, and that's on top of my homework! Hell, I'm almost there now! I know that I'm not very pretty, but why can't I at least try to look the part as well?"

Dad sat there silently staring at me, his eyes getting narrow, then growing wider as he thought about what I had said. I was momentarily worried, except that he knew I was right. The very last thing I needed was for him to get entrenched in his anger, which would certainly lead to my being forced to comply with his wishes. I didn't know what to say, so I sat there right in front of him, dressed like a girl my age, as primly as I could, also hoping that I would not have to walk off carrying my head in my hands. I saw him slump a little, then, with a grim face…

"This is all my fault" dad said, "I suppose; if I had been here more, if I had been able to spend more time with you, maybe this wouldn't have happened. You say that your mother helped you? Doing what? Buying you clothes?"

Nodding my head yes, "that, and showing me how to do my own hair and makeup. "Dad, this isn't your fault! But it isn't mom's or mine either! It just is! I've always felt this way! Like I should have been a girl! Mom found out, but she listened to me, which is when she decided to help me a little. It's not anyone's fault if there is any, so I don't think that having you around more would have made any difference. I would still want to dress as a girl, I always have!"

"What am I going to tell my friends?" Dad sounded…strident I guess.

"Why tell anyone at all!? "Why can't we keep this between ourselves?"

"Well, just how often do you…do this?"

"Once in a while I guess, usually on the weekends, why?"

"Don't you think the neighbors have seen you? I mean, you have to walk to your car then drive right past them, don't you think they have noticed by now? What I mean is, keeping it between just us might not be an option now! Have you thought about that?"

At first, when I started going out of the house I worried about it, but not very much anymore, but I didn't say that because he didn't want to hear it. After a very long pause, he got up and went in to watch television, leaving me alone. As I sat there I realized that he had not seen me in a dress. As it was, while I wore girls jeans and so on, but wearing a skirt or dress and letting him see me would let him know how I felt in very clear terms. It was an idea that would either kill me or relieve the tension between us, but he had always said that the best way to confront and issue was head on, so…. I grabbed my bag and went to my room. Wearing jeans was what most girls wore most of the time, but to put a point on how I felt, I thought dad needed to see me at what I thought was my best, so I quickly undressed, washed off my makeup, and went first to my closet, then my dresser. After I put what I needed on the bed, I went in and did my makeup over, using slightly brighter colors, accenting my eyes with eyeliner and mascara. I had not worn those when he caught me. The blue panties slipped up over my padded pantybrief, then the light tan pantyhose followed by my one and only corsolet. It pulled my waist down to a svelte 24 inches while pushing up the excess flesh on my chest, almost filling the cups of the built in bra. Using the small pads, I filled out the cups, giving me a very modest amount of cleavage. I slipped the dress over my head and zipped it up, then stepped into my best and only pair of patent leather shoes. Gold earrings, then a small gold and black choker necklace before I put on the red lipstick and perfume. When I was done, I looked in the mirror one last time.

There was no sound because of the carpeting, yet when I walked into the familyroom, dad looked up and saw me. It was do or die for me, and I wasn't sure what he was going to do. He could plainly see my modest cleavage and long legs, the hem of the dress above my knees, about mid thigh, and the scent of my perfume merely capped it all off. I stood there waiting for some response, but he didn't say a word. Then he stood up.

"You look like your mother for God's sake!" As he got closer…"How did you manage…no! Don't tell me! I don't want to know!" As he stood in front of me…"You look…I should still whip…how…why…this is…" Then he paused for a moment, then I saw him grin, which might be good, or not, depending. "Since you say that you like doing this so much, and obviously you're quite…good at it, maybe you should get the chance to prove it!" Drawing himself upright…"Maybe we should just see how much you really like being a girl!"

"Huh?"

"Since, as you say, you're already taking care of the house anyway, and you tell me, which is obvious just looking at you, that you like being a girl, I think that maybe I should let you do just that!" Pausing, he said, "Maybe I should just tell you that from now on, I want you to be properly dressed for whatever your doing, as long as it's as a girl! Maybe a few months of dressing as a girl every day will cure you of this fantasy you have!"

"Not at school dad!"

"No, not that, but everywhere else! Understand? We'll see just how you cope with this….this…girl thing, after having to do it every day! Somehow, I don't believe it'll be as much fun as you think it is!"

Dad, in some convoluted way, thought that by forcing me to dress as a girl would make it go away! But I knew that his bit of reverse psychology wasn't going to work! Instead, he had made my dream come true, and better, he would have to shoulder the blame if anyone tumbled to the fact that I wasn't a girl! I nodded my head yes, and went in the kitchen to get a soda before I sat across from him watching television. With my legs crossed at the knee, just like a girl would, I knew that I had his attention, but he didn't say a word, although he kept peeking at me. About an hour later I went to my room and put on the pleated skirt with a white blouse so I wouldn't mess up my one good dress, then went to make dinner. Dad thought that I was doing it because it was fun, but of course, it wasn't. I had to do it, no matter what.

My father is just an ordinary guy. He's not big, athletic, or any of the other extremely masculine things some guys are. My dad is an ordinary guy doing an ordinary job extremely well. What he isn't, is mean. When my mom took off with her boyfriend, dad was a bit depressed, angry of course, but not violent, and gave in to what he saw as the obviously foregone conclusion. If mom didn't want to stay, then he wasn't going to force her, but in the divorce, I got to make the choice, and stayed with him and not mom. After mom left, our lives changed forever, but over time I began to take on the chores of the house, simply because he was away so much. He never asked, and I didn't mention that I was the one doing it, but he knew. He always had clean clothes, dinner and a clean house. That's part of the reason why I think he gave in when he told me to dress all of the time. He just couldn't tell me it was okay, that was out of the question because he just couldn't do that, so he made it a demand instead. That way he saved face. But the net result was that I got to dress as a girl, and hopefully, our lives would go on like they were. The only thing was, I would have to be dressed everywhere but at school. That meant when I did the shopping, ran errands, did the housework, all of it. Knowing all that, I decided that I needed to get some more jeans and slacks, plus a few more skirts, tops and dresses. If dad wanted me to dress most of the time, then he would have to pay for what I needed, I couldn't afford it. Over dinner I mentioned it.

To my surprise, he handed me his credit card! "Don't go crazy" he said, then went back to eating his dinner! I slipped card under my plate, then, as I was cleaning away the plates…

"I don't want you buying things you don't need, or things that I might not approve of, so I want you to ask your grandmother to go with you."

"Dad! I don't…Grandma's stuck in 1940! She doesn't have a clue about what's going on today!"

"Then how about your Aunt Rose? She's younger than I am, so maybe she'll have a better idea about what girls your age are wearing!"

"I don't need any help dad, but thanks anyway."

"It's not a request. I told you to take someone with you. You turned down your grandmother, which I'll grant you, is probably the right thing to do, but your Aunt Rose is your only other choice, and I am telling you to call her. No call, no dressing up. It's simple!"

"But…that's not what you said before, you said…"

"I changed my mind, and since you are my son, and I'm paying the bills, I guess we'll have it my way. I do not like to see you wearing dresses, I don't like it one bit. However, I'm going to be fair about this and give you the chance to fail, and when you do, this…this…dressing up thing is going to be over! I just hope that nobody makes a scene, but that will be up to you. Okay??"

I wasn't positively sure, but in my mind, getting dressed every day could only help me get better, not fail as dad expected, but I didn't tell him that. If he wanted to believe it, I wasn't about to provoke him by saying anything to the contrary. As I started the dishes I wondered how I was going to be able to ask my Aunt Rose to help me buy clothes fit for a girl. If I wanted to dress as a girl, dad made it clear that I would have to ask her, so I didn't any real choice. Between his demand that I dress at all times except when I was in school, and my desire to do just that, all I had to do was get up the nerve to talk to Rose. I sat at the kitchen table thinking about the best way to ask her, wondering if she would laugh at me or not. Dad hadn't even asked me what name I used, so I didn't tell him, and decided I wouldn't until he asked.

I picked up the phone and dialed the number. When Aunt Rose answered, I asked her if I could come over. I told her that I needed her help, but could only tell her why when she saw me. She said okay, so I went to my room, touched up my makeup, then put on my low tan heels and grabbed my purse. I went out the back not seeing dad before I left the house. I knew that I looked okay, and while I really didn't want to tell my Aunt Rose, I also knew that I just couldn't give up dressing as a girl. With my dad willing to foot the bill, all while insisting that I be dressed whenever I wasn't in school, it was the chance of a lifetime, so I had to swallow my fears and let Rose in on my secret. There is no way a guy can describe how he looks as a girl, because most people thought guys that did that always looked like clowns. That's why I decided to tell Rose by showing her. My skirt was short, almost at mid thigh on me, which was my favorite style because I liked the way it made my legs look. I only hoped that Rose would also see it like that.

She lived in a trailer park, in a huge doublewide at the end of a dead end street. As I pulled into her driveway, I saw her open the door and look out, wondering who I was written all over her face. Putting my keys in my purse, I opened the door and got out, standing there so she could see me. Without a pause she waved me inside.

"Well look at you! Is this what you wanted to talk about? You look…wonderful!" Nodding my head, she said, "Tell me all about it then."

I sat down, then told her everything. How mom helped me, then later how I bought my own clothes and how I finally got up the nerve to leave the house. How dad reacted when he saw me at the drugstore, what he said first, then what he changed it to. I told her that I just couldn't quit, no matter what dad said or did, explaining how I figured that what he said would work for me, and his demand that she be with me when I bought my new clothes, which is the reason I was there. If I could have, I would have just quit like he wanted me to in the first place, but I couldn't do that. When I was done, she sat back in her chair and grinned.

"Your father is a good guy honey. He works hard and always does the right thing, but after your mom took off, it was like something inside of him died a little. Some light went out that he has not been able to turn on again, and believe me, I've tried to help him by setting up with some of my girlfriends, more than once! Did you know that you look so much like your mother at the same age that it's almost scary? I'm willing to bet that when he saw you, all it did was bring back some very painful memories, but that also might account for what he told you. By making you become the girl I see sitting here, in a sense, he'll have her back. Not as a lover of course, but…"

"I'm not my mother, and I'm not going to try and become her! That…that's…"

"No, of course not! But you cannot fight the way you look, can you? All you can do is become the girl you say you are, just like you would be if you were his natural daughter! Maybe, if we do this right, you and I can get him to try dating again. Who knows? Maybe he'll find someone new and the focus won't be on you, but on her!" Stopping to pour us some coffee, "What do I call you? Ethan seems out of place."

"Susan" I said.

"Okay Susan, Tomorrow is Sunday, so why don't the two of us do a little shopping and get you all fixed up?"

"I'll be here at eleven" I told her with a grin.

"Wear flats or gym shoes honey, we'll be doing a lot of walking."

When I got home dad had gone to bed. I went to my room and undressed, washed up, then went to bed wondering what the next day would bring. Rose seemed willing to help me get what I needed, and although I didn't feel as if I needed her help, just having her there might help if someone started to question if I were really a girl. The next morning when I got up, I showered, then got dressed. Just like Rose told me, I wore everything I wore the day before, except that I wore ankle socks and my gym shoes. I brushed my hair down, pulling it back with barrettes, then added earrings and lipstick before I grabbed my purse and went down the stairs. Dad was pouring his coffee when I walked in.

"Pour one for me? I have to meet Rose at eleven."

"So. You told her. I didn't think you would."

"I'm only doing what you told me to do dad."

"Yeah, well, don't go crazy with that credit card. Understand?"

"I won't, don't worry daddy!"

I heard him grumbling as I grabbed my coffee mug and headed out the door. "Daddy?" Grinning to myself, I drove to Rose's house, then the two of us headed for the mall. On the way, Rose asked me what I thought I needed most, which I said had to be lingerie. I only had three pairs of panties and one bra, two pairs of pantyhose and the corsolet. I did not count the padded pantybrief, but I told her about it. Then I told her what size I usually wore, which was a size normally found in the Juniors department. My vision of satin panties evaporated when she took me to the underwear department and started handing me packages of cotton panties, the full brief style. She said they were more comfortable and easier to wash. My bra size was 36A, so she grabbed one and took me into a changing booth so she could see for herself that it fit properly. When I handed her my birdseed breast forms I thought she was going to laugh, but she didn't do that. Instead, she told me to stay there for a moment and left the booth. When she returned she had two small boxes in her hand. Opening one of them, I saw a perfectly formed breast form! I quickly put one in each bra cup and slipped my blouse back on.

We added three bras to our growing pile, then two nightgowns, one sheer, one flannel, plus a robe, all before we left for the Junior department. Two more skirts, two dressy dresses, slacks in tan and black, shorts in khaki and green, jeans, and several blouses and tops plus a coat. In the shoe store I bought heels in white, red, and navy, flats in white and black, and girls gym shoes. We dragged it all to the car, then Rose asked when, or if, I had my hair done last!

"Me? In a beauty shop? Not ever! I just let it grow!"

"Well, don't you think it's about time?"

"But I have to go to school! I can't go with a girls haircut!"

"Oh, I'm sure that they can accommodate both; why don't we stop and see what they can do for you?"

"Dad will freak out Rose!"

"Maybe, but then, didn't you tell me he demanded you dress this way? Then why not let him know that you're going to take him up on it?"

Since I had always wanted to get my hair done anyway, it didn't take much to get me inside the beauty shop where Rose had a quiet word with the owner before she started in on my hair. By the time she was done I had seen what it would look like, and was very happy with it. Not quite what you would call bouffant, it was shorter all over, yet with some minor brushing, it fell into place almost every time! The lady had me do it twice to make sure that I knew how to do it, then Rose and I left for her house. I felt great, because between my new boobs, new clothes and my hair, I was as close to being a girl as I was likely to get any time soon, and better, I thought I looked just like any other girl! After I dropped off Rose, I went home, hoping that dad wouldn't go nuts when he saw my hair. Luckily, he wasn't even there, so I was able to take everything to my room and put it all away. On a lark, I changed into the new plaid jumper with a short sleeved white blouse under it and put on my new white flats. Then I went to the kitchen to start dinner.

I had just walked into the kitchen when I heard the door open and saw dad walk in, and he wasn't alone!

"Hi honey, this is my boss Mac. Mac, this is…"

"Susan" I said, "Nice to meet you."

"Ah, listen…Susan, something has come up and I have to leave tonight. I'll be gone for a few days, will you be alright?"

"Sure dad, I can ask Rose to come stay with me if you like."

"That's a wonderful idea. Why don't you call her while I pack."

Dad went to his room to pack ,leaving me alone with his boss, a guy I had only heard of but never met.

"Ron didn't tell me he had a daughter; maybe because you're so cute." He moved closer to me, still smiling, but something, some inner sense told me to move away, which I did. "There's no reason to be afraid of me! Maybe I'll stop by to see how you're getting along. Maybe I can take you out to dinner?"

"I don't think so, my Aunt Rose will be here, or I'll be at her house."

"Just a thought."

Yeah, just a thought. The oily bastard was hitting on me! He was older than my dad, and he was hitting on me! I kept the table between us until dad returned, then they left together. I called Rose and asked her if she could stay a few days, and when she said she would be right over, she added that she would bring a pizza, so I went in the familyroom and watched television. Surprising me, dad gave me a hug, telling me to be good before he and his boss Mac left the house. Maybe Rose was right. I looked enough like my mom that it was making him somehow accept me better. Rose arrived with a small bag about twenty minutes later. She and I ate, and over dinner, I mentioned what her boss had done, and how it made me feel.

"There are a lot of guys like that out there honey. They think they have something irresistible about them that women find attractive. Most guys wouldn't have realized it, but like most girls, you did. That's why you kept the table between you. Do you know what that means?" Shaking my head no…"It means that either you are developing that radar we use to weed out the crazies, weirdo's, con men, and dangerous ones, or you've always had it! Maybe you're already becoming more of a girl that you realize!"

After that she had me try on all of the clothes we had bought that day, and later, I went to bed wearing the sheer nightgown. I had to be myself the next morning, so I carefully washed up in the shower, brushed my hair into a more manly style, then slipped on my usual jeans and shirt and went to school. Like it always was for me, watching all of the girls when we changed classes was terrible, my desire to be one of them almost overwhelming, especially after spending the weekend as a girl. By the time lunch rolled around I knew that changing from boy to girl every day was going to become very tough on me, both emotionally as well as physically; I would always be torn in two directions at the same time. If I didn't wash off all of the makeup every time, forgetting just once, there would be no telling what might happen at school. But, with only a few more months before school let out for the summer, I promised myself that I would not screw up.

That night I wore a skirt and blouse, ran a brush through my hair, but didn't wear any makeup. Rose told me there wasn't any reason for it since we weren't going anywhere. Rose let me do my homework, then she insisted that if I were going to be a girl, then I should learn how to walk and so on properly, and I quickly found myself practicing while she sat there making comments. Tedious is what it was, boring and tedious, yet she kept at me with the promise that if I mastered it, I would be able to present myself in any situation as a girl and get away with it. That made doing all that practicing worthwhile I guess, but I thought I already knew what I needed to know. Until she showed me how I looked. Parody isn't exactly the word, but it's close enough. After that I did what she asked, and over the next few days I began to get more fluid in my motions, less like a guy. Dad called and said that he would be away for another week, then asked Rose if she could stay that long. Thankfully, she said yes, and my instructions went on.

On Friday I got home before Rose did, and went to my room to change, but by the time I was ready to change clothes, she stuck her head in my room and told me we were going out! Later, as we walked into the restaurant I realized that everyone of the lessons I had been practicing were making me look and feel a lot more feminine, and I loved it! We were seated at our table when I saw a familiar face approaching. It was Mac. Standing between us, he said hello to the both of us, but his eyes never strayed far from mine. Not knowing what to do I just sat there and took it, but Rose, well, she knew what to do.

"I'm sure that you are aware that Susan is only 16? And are you aware that your constantly staring at her is offensive to me and downright lewd for her, so I suggest you take your scummy ass back to where you came from and stay there."

"Her father works for me! Do you have any idea what I could do to him? Besides, I'm only looking at a very pretty girl! Who knows? Maybe she's willing to go out with an older guy!"

"I'll not remind you again sir, she is a minor, and I am not so naíve that I can't tell a leer from a look. But while we are talking, let me remind you that I am not married to Ron, so I have no tie that way. But if you do anything to threaten his job, assignments, or pay scale, I will personally see to it that you are made to pay dearly for it in court, Are we clear about that?"

"He told me who you are, you're his sister! So don't make threats you can't back up lady!"

Rose didn't say a word, she merely reached into her purse and sat the small tape recorder on the table. His eyes went wide when he saw it, then he stomped off, leaving Rose and I giggling! It was the first time I had ever seen a woman do that to a guy, and that's when I knew I could do it too, if I ever had to. Over dinner Rose told me that she always carried that tape recorder, even though she rarely used it. Then she told me it had been turned on when she and Mac were going at it, but that it didn't matter, unless Mac did something stupid! When dad got home that following Thursday evening, I was busy sewing the hem on a pair of slacks while Rose looked on. When I saw him I stood up then hugged him and kissed him on the cheek, which made him blush! Then Rose, dad, and I sat down for a chat. Rose told him all about his boss, what he said and threatened, and how she had essentially told him to take a hike.

"The guy is an asshole Ron, and worse, he likes little girls; specifically, your little girl!"

"Well" he said, "that explains a lot! I got a call from our Senior VP. He told me that Mac had turned in a report saying that I was no longer fit to be a part of the company, then he told me that he got an anonymous note about some tape in the mail. He told me that because of previous similar complaints, Mac has been fired!"

"Good! That scumbag deserved it Ron!"

"Yes, well, as good as that sounds, I have been promoted, and reassigned. I start on Monday."

"That's great!" I said, glad that dad had been promoted.

"Maybe you shouldn't be quite so happy. My new job is going to take a lot more of my time. There is one other thing. Mac made so many references to my "daughter", that our Senior VP has invited the two of us to a dinner party at his home on the10th! Do either of you have any idea what that means?"

"Sure" Rose said, "it means that Susan and I will have to find her the perfect little black dress!"

"No! yes! No! I mean…Dammit! What it means is that my son", he emphasized "my son", "will have to not only go dressed as a girl, he'll have to be perfect! No flaws, no mistakes at all! And on top of that, I can't just say she can't go, since it was virtually a demand!"

"So? Susan can do a dinner party standing on her head Ron! While you've been gone, she and I have been working on things, and believe me, she'll be fine, and better, make you look good to boot!"

"I'm going to be ruined! Taking my son, dressed as a girl to a senior executives home? I'll be lucky if I'm just fired!"

"Ronald! Now stop that! We have what? Almost three weeks to get Susan ready? That's two weeks more than we need by the way, so you plan on taking your daughter to the dinner party, because I'm sure that she will be able to help you in ways only a woman can! Now, settle down and relax!"

Dad left on Sunday night for a seminar for and about his new job, but while he was home, he got a chance to see how I managed as a girl, which left him only a little less concerned, but he didn't tell me to stop, so Rose and I began an intensive set of lessons on what it means to be a girl. How to walk and sit weren't the half of it! I had to learn how to use my hands and arms, to listen closely to what people said, never forget a name, be light hearted, and always, above all else, make sure that my dad didn’t say anything stupid, drink to much, or tell bawdy jokes, and that's on top of trying to look like a million dollars to boot! As Rose took me through it all I began to see just how important it was for a man to have a woman he could count on to help him. Going to the mall was one thing, but attending a dinner party was another, and I had my own fears to deal with. As much as I liked dressing as a girl, I wasn't a girl, and all it would take would be one mistake and my dad's career could go up in smoke. I lost my confidence several times, but Rose always brought me back, and my lessons at how to be a girl went on, day after day.

"Ummm Rose?"

"Yes dear?"

"There is a panty that I can get that'll make me look like a girl all over… if you know what I mean, and I thought that since this is so important…"

I showed it to her on the Internet, and she agree, so, following the instructions, I ordered one. The days went by quickly between school and home, then my panty arrived. I quickly tried it on, and Rose agreed that I needed it. She and I went shopping and found the perfect dress, bought matching panties and a bra, plus shoes, a handbag, and jewelry to match. On the day of the dinner party I drove myself to the same salon, told them what I needed, and let them begin. It was a huge step, one that would certainly cause me grief at school, but dad needed me more than the other kids did. His career might be on the line, so I lay back as the stylist began.

Three hours later, as I looked at my reflection, I knew that I had made the right decision. My dishwater blond hair had been dyed strawberry blond then set in wavy curls with bangs. Every square inch of the skin on my arms and legs had been waxed as well as my sideburns and mustache area, then my makeup had been done by a pro. My nails, merely short stubs before they worked on them, were longer and painted a dark reddish brown color. As I went home I grinned to myself, because dad was going to be in for a shock when he saw the me looking the way I did. In my bedroom I quickly undressed and filled the tub, then jumped in to enjoy about half an hour of bubblebath soaking into my skin. Then I started to get dressed. According to Rose, comfort was not an issue at an affair like a dinner party since everyone wanted to make a good impression. That's why I started by wrapping the black satin and lace corsolet around myself, tightening the laces until my waist was down from my normal 27, to 24 inches. Then came the breast forms, which I used to bolster what had already been compressed into the bra cups, and gave me just the right amount of cleavage. Black panties, then my pantyhose, which I pulled snug.

Since the dress was lined, I didn't need a slip, so I slipped it over my head and zipped it up, then straightened it out before I stepped into the black patent leather heels. For jewelry, all I wore were the small gold and black button earrings, a gold bracelet, and a ring that Rose had bought for me. Then I added perfume, did my lipstick, and made sure my hair was okay before I checked that I had money in my wallet. Putting it in my handbag with the lipstick, I grabbed the white fur jacket Rose had loaned me, and walked out of my room a full four minutes before dad and I would have to leave. I hoped that my father would appreciate what I had gone through to look that good, and as I nervously walked down the hallway, I let my hips move like Rose told me. Then dad turned and saw me standing there.

"Holy shi…you look fantastic! Come over here so I can see you better." When we were face to face…"Your hair! It's more blond! I have to say, I didn't think it was possible, but…damn!"

"Thank you dad! I had it dyed because, well, blonds have more fun?" He smirked, then…"Dad, remember, tonight I'm your daughter, and my name is Susan, okay?"

"I'm still very concerned about all this, but to just look at you, how could I possibly convince anyone that you're my son, even if I wanted to?"

He drove us to the party, then we were admitted by a woman about my dad's age. Once they had our coats, we began to mingle with the others that were there. I met some of his friends, then the man that invited us.

"So! This is the young lady that put Mac in his place!" I said nothing, then…"Our son will be along shortly Susan, he's about your age. Maybe you two can be friends."

"I'll look forward to meeting him sir."

"Ron, can I talk to you for a moment?"

I was left standing there alone, and drifted towards the small bar to get a soda.

"Hi. I'm Kathy" a woman said. I see your father and my husband over there deep in conversation. Oh well, that's the way it is for us women I guess. Have you met everyone?"

"I think so, dad introduced me around."

"Oh! Look! It's our son Michael! Let me introduce you to him."

Mike was almost exactly my age, and very shy. His mother walked off leaving us together, but he didn't feel comfortable, that much was for sure. I grabbed his arm and we mingled until we came to our fathers. One looked perplexed and one looked glad as Mike quickly took me by the hand and led me down some stairs and into a small room where I saw a pool table!

"You play?" he asked even as he removed his jacket.

"Some, but…"

"That's okay Susan, I'm not that good either. I just don't like these get togethers my parents toss once in a while. I thought that maybe you and I could shoot some pool before we head back up."

He was a lot better than he let on, but it was fun, and I enjoyed myself. The only thing was, every time I bent over to shoot, I noticed that he was always in a position to look down my dress. Later I suggested that we rejoin the party, so he put his jacket on and we walked up the stairs. Harriet, a woman dad had introduced me to, took me by the arm and pulled me aside.

"See that guy over there by the window? He's the President of the company. Maybe you should go over and talk to him. Maybe it'll help your father's career?"

Since I don't need to be hit with a hammer to get the clue, I waved at Mike, and made my way over to the man.

"Hello! I don't think we've met! I'm Susan Witt, Ron's daughter."

"Well! Hello there! I've heard a lot about what a charming young lady you are. Ron should be very proud of you." Taking my hand…"You know, that promotion we gave him is to a much larger office? It's going to mean that he'll be very busy for a while, I hope you understand."

"Oh, I do. But I'll support whatever decisions he makes; I'm a big girl now, so whatever I can do to make it easier for dad I'll do my best."

"I'm sure that you will my dear. Now, how about letting an old man get us both a drink?"

I took his arm and we walked to the bar, I got a soda, and we walked outside on the patio. We just stood there, then I heard him say something under his breath.

"I'm sorry. I didn't hear what you said sir."

"It was nothing my dear, but thank you for being here tonight. You are the one ray of sunshine at an otherwise politically filled night of back stabbing and positioning."

Dad and I left for home about midnight, and on the way I told him what the president of the company had told me. He filled me in on the latest gossip, how everyone fit together politically and why, then he grabbed my hand and squeezed it. Then he told me that the older man had lost his wife after almost forty four years of marriage, and that was probably what he was muttering to himself. Then he told me that everyone said I was beautiful, and that he should be proud of me! I never thought I would hear those words come out of his mouth, ever! In the morning I was up early, making coffee when he walked into the kitchen. My flannel nightgown went from my neck to the floor, and showed zero of my figure.

"You do realize that all of the executives now believe that I have a daughter, you, which brings up some interesting situations. For example, in my new job I'll be expected to throw dinner parties, picnics and so on, and everyone will expect you to be the hostess. If someone drops by, I can't have Ethan standing there, I'll have to have Susan standing there. Then of course, Stan and his wife will be doing their best to get you and their son Mike together, hoping you'll hit it off. On top of all that, you still have one more year of high school, and I don't have a clue of how we get past that speed bump! And even if we fix it so that you go back as a girl of course, what do we do about your school records? I don't have a clue!"

"I don't either, but we'll think of something. I had a good time last night dad. Thanks."

"Yes, well, everyone liked you honey. You made a great impression on some very important people."

I went to get dressed, tossing on some jeans and a top, brushing out my hair and adding just foundation and blusher before I went to clean up the kitchen. Glancing up, I saw a shadow at the front door and went to see who it was. It was the old man! I let him in and took him to the kitchen and poured him some coffee.

"Thank you my dear."

"Dad's getting dressed…"

"I'm here to see you actually. If I may?" He sat and I joined him. "Are you aware that no promotions are made to the corporate staff unless I sign off on it?"

"No sir, I wasn't, should I?"

"I read your fathers file before I promoted him; his file says that he has a son named Ethan, not a daughter named Susan, and since he introduced you as his daughter, I can only draw one inference from that. Either you are his son Ethan, or you are another family member posing as his daughter. Since I know him well enough, I know that he would not tell us that you are his daughter unless you were direct blood, so that has to mean that you are really his son." My stomach was in knots as I listened to him shred my carefully planned charade. "Mind you" he said, "you are a charming, beautiful, very well poised young lady, with a fine sense of humor, and you have made a wonderful impression on everyone, but since nobody knows this but me, I am wondering if you will remain? What I mean is, will we be seeing Susan or Ethan from now on?"

"I…I'm not sure. Not yet anyway. Susan I hope."

"What if I could make it possible for you to attend school just as you are? Would that make a difference?"

"Sure! But documentation doesn't exist for me as Susan!"

"I will need to talk to your father about this of course, but maybe we can work this out to everyone's advantage."

"Huh?"

"In your fathers new position he will be obligated to host dinner parties, much like the one we were at last night, and having a woman, or a daughter in this case, as his hostess, will only enhance his career. Many of the people on the Board want to see a stable family, and having you fill in will let them know that he has just that."

Dad showed up, and as he walked in and saw who was sitting there, he quickly joined us, but I excused myself and went to get dressed. I did not hear what was said, but for some reason I felt as if dad would agree to letting me continue as a girl. It took me about half an hour to finish getting dressed and put on some more makeup, then I went back to the kitchen where the old man and dad were still sitting. As I sat down…

"Susan" dad said softly, "I understand that you two had a talk. What about it? Is this what you really want?"

"You know I do dad."

"There can be other reasons" the old man said, "for you to remain as you are, but for now, lets all assume that when you move into your new position, Susan will remain with you as your daughter. We can work out the odd details later, but she is certainly an asset to your career Ron."

"We'll need to talk about this some more Susan, but Rose left a message on the voice mail, so why don't you go over and talk to her? I'll stop by over there in a few hours, okay?"

I grabbed my purse and left to see Rose. When I got there I told her everything that had happened at the party, how everyone reacted to me, then, what the old man had told me that very morning. She seemed to be pleased hearing how I managed to convince everyone I was really a girl, and gave me a hug to show it. We just talked for a while, then dad showed up and we all sat together talking about what might happen in the future. He made it clear that having me become his daughter wasn't very high on his list, but he did say that I had performed "magnificently" to use his word, then said that because I had attended the party as a girl, the question about my becoming his daughter was virtually out of his hands.

"I've told you before that I do not like the fact that you're dressing up as a girl, and I meant it. I didn't like it then, and I like it less now, but…"

"Ron" Rose said, "we all know how you feel about this, but you have to admit that Susan has more than held up her end of the bargain! We all know how scary it was for you to let her attend that party, but think about it from her point of view! She not only had to become a girl, she also knew that one mistake on her part could cost you your promotion, and maybe even your job! Did you even once think about that? Did you ever think about the pressure that she shouldered? Being a boy in a dress is one thing, being a boy in a dress trying to be the perfect daughter is entirely another! Did anyone realize that she was a boy? That young man that was there for example? Or any of the wives that were there? No? Then what does that tell you?"

"I…I…I guess…"

"Ronny, you and Susan have the chance to start a new life! I know that you're not exactly in favor of this, but since you have made no move to find someone special in your life, and Susan has now found out the truth about herself, maybe you'll finally realize that every successful man has a woman behind him! When it comes time for you to host a dinner party, you'll need someone to be the hostess, and Susan fits that bill exactly! What more could you want?"

"I was thinking" dad said meekly, "that maybe…since Susan is so…new to all this, that you would move with us? What I mean is, ah…she has been a girl for a very short time, so maybe you could…."

"Help her?"

There was a long silence while everyone absorbed what dad had said. In a way, I would really like it if Rose did move in with us, yet, on the other hand, it was sort of a slap at me. I mean, I had worked hard to be the daughter he and everyone else expected me to be, and had I succeeded. Maybe more than I deserved, but dad still wanted Rose to move with us, just in case. I was crushed, because there wasn't any doubt that I wanted to be a girl, and had worked hard to achieve it well enough to help my dad. He sat there smiling, as if everything was just fine, but as I felt the tears welling in my eyes, I left the room, telling them I had to use the bathroom. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I wasn't going to let him see me do that. I had done my best, which he himself had said was "magnificent", yet he still didn't trust me enough to be myself. I shut the door and locked it, then looked in the mirror. Was I the girl I thought I was? Or was I just a sad parody of a girl? Maybe I was neither, or maybe both. A boy that desperately wanted to be a girl, someone that looked like a girl, loved being a girl, wanted to be my fathers daughter, but wasn't, and from what I heard, it didn't sound to me like I ever would be.

From the lessons that Rose gave me to what I had let them do to me at the beauty shop, I had done my very best to be the girl that my dad needed me to be. I knew that he didn't like what I was doing, yet he had allowed it to happen, maybe even forcing the issue when he brought home that fellow Mac. He knew there was a high probability that I would be dressed, yet he had done it anyway! He also had to know Mac's reputation around girls, so why was he so surprised when he hit on me? Then, to top it all off, he had allowed me to attend that dinner party! He had to know how dangerous it was for both of us, yet he had let it happen. He could have easily taken Rose instead of me, so why didn't he? Was it because, as Rose had suggested that I looked so much like my mother? As I dried my eyes I tried to figure out why dad had done all of those things…

"Susan? Honey? Can you come out now? We need to talk some more." I opened the door to see Rose standing there. "Come sit next to me honey. We have lots of things to talk about."

"Dad…?"

"Him too."

Sitting next to Rose, my eyes still a bit red and my makeup smeared…

"What I said, you took it wrong! All wrong!" Dad sounded…afraid? "When I asked Rose to join us, it wasn't because I don't have faith in you, it's just that we'll probably have to move to a new house, you'll be in a new school, I'll have a new job, and on top of all that, you'll have to become a girl every day, in every way! Just how easy do you think this is going to be? Everything about our family will change, not slowly, like we might want, but all at once! That's why I asked Rose to join us!"

"There are other things Susan" Rose added, "you'll need help fixing up the house, and of course, we have not yet talked about some other things that girls need to know, things best kept private, just between us girls."

"Both of you said that I look like mom did. I am not my mother, and I'm not going to try and become her, so if the only reason you are going to let me do this is…."

"Stop that!" Dad's voice cut through the air like a razor sharp knife. "Yes! It's true that you look remarkably like your mother, but that is not the reason I…I wouldn't think of…that's obscene, and I resent it that you would think that I would ever…I mean…"

"I didn't mean it that way dad! I never thought that!"

"Yes" he finally said, "I believe you, but if you look like your mother, and I was attracted to her, what'll happen when some boy tries to…what if you're dating? What then?"

"That's easy" I said, "I'm not going to date."

That caused Rose to choke and cough a bit, but she didn't say anything. By the time Rose and I went in the kitchen to make sandwiches, dad had made it plain that while he still didn't like me dressing as a girl, he was going to allow it, as long as I could continue to convince everyone that I really was a girl. Rose told me that since she didn't have to work, and in her estimation, I still needed her guiding hand, she was willing to move with us, as long as I could accept it.

"So, you're not going to date?" She asked smugly. "Are you joining a religious organization?"

"No, of course not! It's just that I don't think about guys that way!"

"But they'll see you for what you seem to be, and it's a good bet that one of them will ask you out. What then? Are you just going to stay at home while all of your friends are out having a good time? I doubt that Susan, and in your heart, you do to. That's the one part of being a girl that makes it worthwhile! Having men trip all over themselves around you? It's priceless Susan. That thing about your father? That was uncalled for and you know it. Ronny may be a lot of things, but that isn't one of them, and he didn't deserve that. He is more than a little confused right now. He just can't figure out why a male, any male, would want to be a woman, and you are his son, which only makes it worse! On top of that, you're not only really cute, you managed to make everyone at that party think that you're not only a girl, but a sophisticated young lady! That has him totally stunned, because he never saw it when you didn't look like you do right now. Honey, he is doing the best he can to try and understand this, but what he needs the most is for you to go in there and tell him that one, you love him, and two, that you'll always do your best. Now, I'll finish here while you go talk to your father."

Dad saw me walk in and stood up; neither of us moved until he raised his arms, and I fell into them. As he held me I told him how I felt, that I loved him, and wanted him to try and understand. It was just as hard for me to try being a girl as it was for him to accept it, something that I know he didn't realize. I couldn't tell him why I wanted to be a girl, why I spent hours just getting ready, or even what was driving me to do it. He listened as I asked him if he really thought that I would take the risk of embarrassing both him and myself unless I didn't have a choice. Then I promised to always do my best, and let Rose help me as much as she could. Dad didn't say much, but he held me a bit tighter, and that said it all.

I finished my school year where I was, staying with Rose while dad started his new job. Rose and I packed up the house, which we sold quickly, then, the first week after school let out. Rose sold her doublewide in two days, and we had everything shipped across the county to the house the three of us had picked out. Rose and I drove the cars, packed with our clothes. Once we arrived and settled in, Rose and I went out and bought curtains, drapes, some new furniture and so on. Then she and I began to set up our house. Every day I would put on foundation, but not much else since I wasn't going anywhere, wearing jeans and a top virtually all of the time. It did not hold the same glamour my going out had, but I was content just knowing my day would appreciate what I was doing. The old man stopped by one day and handed me a packet of papers, telling me to sign them, have dad sign them, and get them back to him. Then he and I sat on the deck with a soda.

"I wish my own daughter had been like you" he said softly, "but, she was a wild girl, and it got her into some trouble; it just about killed her mother, the pain and all that stress, but that's over with now." Drawing himself upright…"I am going to retire next year. It's no longer any fun, so I think I'll just retire and let someone else run the company." Turning to me…"Susan, I need someone to be my hostess for my retirement party. Would you…"

"I don't think I should sir. What I mean is, if my dad were to come up for another promotion, and I were acting as your hostess…"

"Ah…yes, I see. I'm sorry my dear, it was just a thought."

"But I do know someone, my Aunt Rose. She moved here with us, and she's really pretty. Maybe, if I asked her…"

"That's a splendid idea! Why don't you let me take us all out to dinner? That way we can meet in a more casual atmosphere. Besides, I'm willing to bet that you could use the break."

"I'll ask dad, but for now, I'll say yes."

"That's fine! Saturday evening then? I'll send a car for you."

After he left I called Rose and told her what had happened, plus the fact that I had suggested her to be the old man's hostess, and why. We talked for a bit longer, then she told me that she would set up appointments at a salon nearby for Saturday. When dad got home I told him what was going on, then had him sign the papers to both change my name legally as well as all of my records. Surprisingly, he didn't flinch when he signed them. By the weekend I had most things put away, and was definitely ready for some leisure time, so I spent Friday night lounging in a tub full of hot, sudsy water and rubbing in skin lotion. It was wonderful. The next day Rose and I went to a local salon and we both got the works, from head to toe. Pedicure, manicure and new nails, the same waxing in the same places, my hair was washed and dyed again, then set, all before lunch.

Being a boy that wants to be a girl isn't like taking a stroll in the park, it's emotionally painful, takes a lot of hard work, promotes violence, and even then you might fail. I felt wonderful as Rose and I left the beauty shop, feminine and pretty, yet I still suffered from the nagging doubt that I always carried around with me. I couldn't wear revealing clothes unless I wore the corsolet, I couldn't wear a plain bathing suit without exposing my total lack of shape, and I didn't dare date. The price of my desire, regardless of the fun I was having, was starting to look very steep. Then I had to deal with my father. He had agreed to my change, yet there was some part of him that held back, a part that could not accept me as a girl; not now, not ever it seemed. He had caused, by design or accident, other people to think of me as his daughter, but I wasn't his daughter. I was his son wearing girls clothes, a fact that we were both well aware of. As I looked at Rose, I wondered if the day would ever come when I would be like her. With careful attention to detail and great effort I had managed to help my dad, yet no matter how hard I tried, I knew that if I stayed the way I was, I would never be as carefree as any other girl my age, and a nice haircut and some makeup wasn't going to change that. As Rose and I approached the car, I had the notion that I should quit what I was doing, purge the clothes, cut my hair, and go back to being Ethan, son of Ronald.

"You look angry Susan, what's the matter?"

"I'm not a girl!"

"But you look lovely! What's really bothering you?"

"I'm not a girl I said!" I fell into the car and sat there a moment, then…"I'll never be like you! Never! No matter how hard I try, I…."

"That's right! You are absolutely right Susan! You will never be like me, or any other woman as a matter of fact! You will never have to experience the monthlies, you'll never get pregnant, and you'll never ever have to worry about men!" That caused me to snap around and look at her. "Unless you realize that you have a lot to offer a man that is; things like love and caring, plus the kind of warmth and confidence only a woman can bring a man. Having a baby might be a goal, but I never had any children, and look at me! Am I any less a woman because of it? No? Then tell me what's really going on then!"

"Boobs" I said softly, "and hips."

Oh! I see! That's what it is! Well, I suppose that we can see what the options are, unless you already know that is. Care to tell me?"

We sat there in the parking lot as I detailed every known way for a boy to gain the body of a girl, starting with taking hormones and ending with Liposuction and breast implants. Every choice was either expensive, dangerous, took a very long time, or some combination of all of the above. Rose didn't say much as she drove us home, but I didn't feel like talking anyway. I was having a major crisis of confidence, and for the moment I was reveling in it. My self pity enveloped me like a cloud, and while I knew what I wanted, I also knew that it would take time that I did not want to spend. When I went in the house I burst past my father and went straight to my room, and in my frustration, slammed the door hard. I stood there panting, both confused and angry, at myself and my lack of will power. Undressing until I was naked, I stood in front of the mirror and looked at the girls head and the boys body, cursing under my breath. Then the door flew open.

Rose shut the door with a bang and stood glaring at me, her hands on her hips.

"So! Little missy isn't happy! So what? Not many people are happy with the way they look! What makes you think there's something special about you?" Naked, I started to reach for my robe, but Rose yanked it away. "Oh no you don't! You just stand there like that! You don't have anything I haven't seen before! That thing of yours is the only problem? I'll bet that we can fix that right now, if you're willing that is. And we can get you some of those expensive breast forms and hip pads you mentioned. Then you can start on the hormones and become the girl you always told us, and have proved that you are, but I'll not tolerate any more of this "pity me" routine you are in." Rose got up right in my face and took me by the chin. "Now you listen to me young lady, a lot of people, your father and I included, have done our best to accept you as the girl you said you were, and we are not going to let you disappoint us! Not now, and not later. So, tell me, what's it going to be? Pity? Or do you want me to help you become the girl you always said you were?"

No longer able to hold it in, I broke down and fell into her arms. Quietly, almost so softly that I missed it,

"Your name change papers came in the mail today, so legally, your name is Susan now." Rose pulled some papers out of her pocket, put them on the bed, and told me to lie down on my back. "I figured this day would come, so I looked up how to do it. I have to get a few things, so don't move, I'll be right back."

Using a razor, some glue and deft fingers, Rose made me look like a girl, then told me to get up and get dressed, we had an errand to run. Rose, still a little angry with me, left the room while I got dressed. Not having a lump in my panties felt great, and my spirits lifted a bit, yet I still felt incomplete. Once I was dressed, she took me to a prosthetics shop, and without any preamble at all, told the guy what I needed! You could say with some certainty that I wanted to sink into the floor, but all the guy did was smile and wave us to the back!

"Let's get you undressed shall we?" As I slowly undressed…."I'm thinking that she'll want the B package, especially if she is going to go full time. Here. Let me show you what that entails."

Not going into great detail, suffice it to say that as painful as it was, when he was done with me I had a pair of great boobs, that were touch sensitive! The fine wires that he attached to my chest wall made the difference according to what he said. The same was true for the hip and bottom padding. All of the padding had been glued on, and would last for up to six months, however he suggested that I come in once every three months had have them removed so my own skin could breathe for a while, even though they had been designed to stay attached. I stood there touching myself, in awe at the sensations I was feeling. Rose and the guy went out front while I got dressed, my self pity gone with a mere glimpse of what would someday be true. My dream had come true, and my despair floated away on the elation flowing over me as I got dressed, casting aside all of the foam padding I had used before. By the time I reached the car I had grabbed Rose twice and hugged her tightly both times.

"Are we all done with this self pity now?"

"I was angry."

"I know that, but you took it out on us, and that wasn't fair to us or yourself, was it? Susan, honey, we all know that you want to be a girl, and we have done everything we could for you, now the rest is up to you. Okay?"

By the time we got home I was back to my old self, and gave my dad a hug and kiss when I went in the house. I went to my room to once again touch myself, just to feel and enjoy the fact that I could, without any trouble at all, be the girl I knew that I was. After that day I no longer worried about someone deciding I was a guy, and my life became normal again. I decorated the house the way I wanted to, leaving only dad's office for him to do as he wished. I started school without any trouble, and quickly fell into a routine that felt comfortable. I made some girlfriends, met some guys, but still didn't date. Dad said I could get a job in his office, so I applied for and got approved to work, which meant half days at school.

Rose and I helped the old man set up for party, ordering the food, setting up the catering staff and so on, then two days before the party, she and I went shopping. For the first time I saw Rose in her underwear, and she had a great shape! The dress she bought fit her in ways that I could only dream of, and made her look at least ten years younger! Telling me that I didn't have to wear black, I picked out a white cocktail dress that had a sweetheart neckline, layers of chiffon and satin for the skirt, and fit me like a glove, if I wore that corset that is. We both got shoes and new jewelry, then left to get ready. Rose left in her car because she had to be there early, but as before, I waited until I knew dad was ready, then I made my entrance.

"Susan, I…you look just gorgeous tonight!" He stared for a moment, then…"Susan, you were right and I was wrong; I know I made it hard on you, but now, I can't imagine having you here with me…as my daughter. I love you dearly, and I just don't know how I would manage without you." I went to him and we hugged, and as his arms went around me, I felt as if I had finally gained his love and respect. "I understand that you would like to start taking hormones so that you can dispense with the padding, and I think it's about time, don't you?"

I almost started to cry, but that would have ruined my makeup, so I held it in, and we left for the party. Everyone was friendly, but there was an undercurrent of suspense, because they all knew the old man was retiring and would name his successor that night. Dad told me he was out of the running because he had just been promoted, and named three guys he thought had the best chance. Rose was clearly in her element as she smoothly moved between the guests making small talk, and looking more elegant that anyone else there. I was looking for a way to talk to one of the guys dad mentioned when I felt a hand on my elbow.

"Hi again! Remember me? I'm Mike!"

"Oh! Hi Mike! Of course I remember you!" He must have had a growth spurt, because he was an easy six inches taller than I was, and clearly heavier. "You look real nice tonight Susan, and you smell great!"

"Handsome, and a gentleman too!" I said with a giggle and a smile.

"Ah…listen, can I call you sometime? Maybe we can go to a show or something?"

"Sure" I said, and he took my hand in his and we started around the room again. I saw Rose talking to a guy about her age, saw her laugh and smile, and hoped he was the guy for her. She deserved it. Then I saw my dad and a woman in a corner, and they were kissing!

"It looks like you dad has met Janet!"

"It does look that way doesn't it?" I wasn't sure if I were jealous or envious.

I kept working for the same company as dad, and in time I did develop the body I always wanted. Rose got married to the guy I saw her with at the party, and dad? Well, he and Janet are now married. She doesn't know that I was a boy at one time, and none of us see any reason to tell her. Mike and I went out a few times, but we didn't "click" as they say, and soon parted ways. Every now and then I try on my little black dress, that first one, and I remember all of the torment we all went through so I could be what I am today, a woman, and believe me, I'm thankful for the father I was blessed with. He used to be just "dad", now he's my daddy, and I love him for it.

Sailing
by
Janet L. Stickney
[email protected]

My friend Bill and I were as close as brothers, having virtually grown up together and we each thought we knew everything there was to know about the other. Because we rarely held a secret from each other, I felt very secure in the knowledge that I held one secret to myself was secure. Bill has a sister that is two years older than we are, and is a total pain. On the other hand, I have two sisters, Karen, and Kathy, both older than I am by three, and four years. When Bill and I were both 15, Bill's parents wanted to take a summer long vacation, sailing around the Florida Keys and the outward islands, and they naturally planned to take both of their children. Bill was looking forward to it, but Pamela, Bill's sister, had other plans, hated sailing, and wanted to stay home. Since she was almost 19 her parents, and after much wailing, they finally relented, providing she stayed with one of her girlfriends, one that they approved of. That's when Bill asked if I could take her place! His parents readily agreed, but only if my parents approved. Since the boat had already been stocked and all of their clothes had been brought aboard, I was told I would have to pack quickly, and get it on board right away, because they wanted to make their reservations on one of the islands on time. Bill called me, and after a quick parlay between our parents, I threw some clothes in a suitcase and my dad dropped me off at Bill's house. Both Bill and I were excited at the prospect of warm weather, and of course seeing some girls in skimpy bikini's swelling with luscious young girls. Both of us looked forward to the moment we docked at the island.

We all scurried to make sail, catching a breeze that filled the main sail, pulling us out to sea. Since there wasn't any room below, I lashed my suitcase on the forward hatch and forgot about it. We were making about ten knots in a calm sea and for the first two days the weather was fine, a calm, warm sea and blue skies making it a pleasant trip. On the third day however, a storm blew up and the sailboat was tossed around the ocean like a cork. The storm blew all around us, and it got so bad we had to lash ourselves to the boat or risk being cast overboard. For 14 miserable hours we endured the wind tossed waves as our sailboat bobbed around in the storm tossed seas. When the storm passed we all collapsed and rested, gathering our strength to continue. Wendy, Bill's mother had started to sort out what had to be cleaned and so on while the rest of us checked out the rest of the damage. Our antenna had sheared off, but we repaired it and lashed it to what was left of the main mast. While we were doing that Wendy discovered that all of my clothes had been washed away in the storm. Because we had been in a hurry to cast off, I had left my suitcase on the forward hatch, tied down of course, but the shear terror of the winds had ripped it away, leaving me with just the clothes I had on. That evening, when we had the boat back on course, she told him about my loss.

"I can't wear Bill's clothes, he's at least two sizes bigger than me!" It was true. While we had grown up together, Bill had grown taller and filled out, and now weighed at least 165 pounds, while I was just 5'6" and maybe 125 soaking wet.

"When your suitcase got lost in the storm you also lost your passport Kevin. That will make it very hard to get you ashore, and the island customs people are not noted for their patience with wayward tourists."
Nobody had a solution, but we still had several days sailing to make our port of call in time. We all wondered how we were going to get me ashore. Bill and I sat on the aft freeboard and wondered just how his parents would solve the problem.

"We could tell them what happened, maybe they'll accept that!"

"I doubt it Kevin, Dad says the islanders are very strict. Maybe, but it's doubtful."

After about an hour, Bill started to stare at me, then I saw his eyes lit up and a smile creased his face. "I got it!"

"You got what?" I asked.

"I have the solution to our problem!" When Bill would not say what it was, I became impatient and asked.

"Well? What is it?"

"Let's go find my mom first." Unable to get my very best friend, the one I trusted most, to tell me, I followed him to the cabin where his mother was preparing dinner. "I got it Mom!"

"You have what dear?" The answer to how we are going to get Kevin ashore without the hassle of customs!"

"We still have all of Pamela's clothes with us, right?"

The light quickly dawned on his mother, and as she looked over at me, I realized what had just been suggested.

"You want me to wear Pam's clothes? No way! I'm not wearing her clothes!"

"Look at him! He's about the same size as Pam, and his hair is long enough too!"

I looked at Bill, wondering why he wanted me to be a girl so bad! My secret was closing in on me rapidly, and while I showed concern on my face, inside, I felt the elation of my desire rising. Nobody said anything for a moment, then Wendy asked Bill and his dad to leave so she could talk to me alone. After they had left, she asked me to stand up, and measured me with her eye.

"I know this seems like a lot to ask Kevin, but it will only be for the time we are in port, and it would help all of us a lot. You don't have to do this, but you run the risk being flown home by the authorities when they discover your lack of documentation. We can explain the circumstances of course, and they might even believe us, but then again, maybe not. In any case, our entire vacation would be spent trying to straighten things out with the authorities. Think about it Kevin. It will only be for a few days, and besides, who would know you down there anyway?"

She had a point and I knew it, but wearing girl's clothes, in public, made me feel squeamish inside. One of my best held secrets was that once in a while I would put on and wear my sister Karen's clothes. My mother had even caught me dressed up, more than once. Now, I had the chance to be the girl I had only seen fleeting glimpses of in my mirror, and, I would have the help of a woman my mothers age to help me. In my heart I knew it was the chance of a lifetime, yet I felt I had to put on a brave front and told her,

"If I do this you have to tell Bill not to tease me about it, now or when we get home… I'll be a dead duck if he does!"

"I'll tell him, and make sure he understands very clearly."

Fear is a very nasty demon, and I tasted the fear in my throat, growing and choking me, all because someone else might see my desires, out in the open at last. I liked the feel of the softer materials of my sister's clothes against my skin, even the thin cotton panties gave me a thrill. But each time I wore any of her clothes, I felt the fear of discovery closing in, and I always became afraid. Yet the lure of dressing as a girl always brought me back, drawing me to her clothes, just like a moth to the flame, and getting burned was more than a distinct possibility, it was a probability that grew larger every time I did it. When my mother had caught me she didn't say much about it, merely telling me to change and wash off the makeup. Three months later, on Halloween, she had allowed me to dress as a girl, and under her supervision, I was transformed into the girl I always knew I had inside. After that single night dressed as a girl, where I was exposed as a pretty young girl, I dreamed of that night quite often, and tried to do it again and again, but never quite managing to get it right. Now, I was being asked to dress as a girl, and even though they had a very good reason, I tasted the fear once again. The very thought that my best friend would see me dressed as a girl made me even more tense. I knew that once I was dressed as a girl it would be hard to deny how much I liked it. As I lay in my bunk that night I wondered how I could become that girl once again and not let on that I liked it so much.

Early the next day, right after breakfast, Wendy asked me again.

"Have you decided Kevin?"

She and I were the only ones there when I nodded my head yes, and we went below to begin my transformation.

"I know this is embarrassing Kevin, but I want you to strip naked for me so I can see what we have to do to make you into a young lady."

Grudgingly, I undressed down to my briefs and stood there. But she wagged her finger, and with an embarrassed sigh and no choice really, I pulled them down and stood there naked. Wendy saw that I had only a modest amount of body hair, but realized that I could not have any, so she went into the head and returned with a jar of pink stuff.

"Pamela always travels with this. It's a chemical hair remover; I'll smear it all over you and we'll wait a while, then I want you to jump in the water and rinse it off. Now raise your arms."

I was covered from ankles to eyebrows with the stuff! She even rubbed it into the crack of my butt, and worse, around my small maleness! I waited until she said it was okay, about 30 minutes I think, then with her help I duck walked out to the port side ladder and went in the water. I hung onto the ladder, letting the passing water wash away the cream, and with it, all signs of my thin body hair. As I climbed back aboard, I was glad that Bill and his dad were busy in the aft of the sailboat. With Wendy holding my arm, we went back into the cabin where she dried me off with a towel.

"Now we can begin, but first we have to figure out what to do about that very unladylike bulge you will have in your panties."

I did not know exactly what she was going to do, but I sure knew what she meant. Wendy thought about it for a minute, and had an inspiration. When she told me I was shocked, but I had seen some of Pam's clothes, and knew it was the best way, if she could do it that is. She had me lay on my back, on the table.

"I have some of that super glue that works on everything; maybe we can fix you up with that. Wait here a minute."

When she returned she had me slide to the end of the table, and put my legs on her shoulders. Then she silently went to work. She was careful not to hurt me, and as she worked on me I saw her smiling. By the time she was done she was smiling so widely that I began to worry. She had done it quickly, and I did not feel much pain, just her soft hand manipulating me.

"There! That will do very nicely!"

She helped me up off the table and I let my hand fall immediately went to my groin.

"It's gone!"

"No it isn't; I just rearranged it so that you can wear all of Pam's clothes without worrying about discovery."

I went to the mirror in the stateroom and saw that from the waist down, I did indeed look like a normal female! My hand found what seemed like a normal vagina surrounded by what should have been a trim patch of pubic hair, but baldness was the order of that day! My finger found the thin slit she had created with my scrotum. As I felt myself, my fingers traced what she had done, which scared me more than a bit, because all signs of my manhood were gone! I looked at Wendy, but all she did was smile at me.

"I didn't plan on this, it just happened Kevin, but it certainly does make it easier to look like a girl, so relax and enjoy it. I wrapped a towel around myself and after Wendy and I talked a bit, I finally relaxed and rejoined her in her stateroom.

She handed me a pair of panties, which I gratefully pulled on, then, Wendy held out one of Pamela's bras and wrapped it around me and fastened the hooks. Once she had it settled and adjusted on my shoulders, she looked around for some padding that would work long enough to at least get ashore, when, she told me, we would find something better. She ended up taking two pairs of shoulder pads out of her dresses and used them to pad the bra, which was an 'A' cup. Then she gave me a pair of pink shorts to wear, but after I had them on I knew that the bottom half of my cheeks were hanging out! I did not have a chance to say anything before Wendy gave me a pink and white pullover top. It had a low scoop neckline and barely came to my waist, which also revealed my navel!

"These are Pamela's deck shoes dear, you might as well wear them, they go with the outfit." I took the shoes and saw the pink and white shoelaces, sighed, and put them on, surprised that they fit so well. "It looks like her shoes will fit you! Now we have to do something about that hair!"

After she had washed my hair, rolled it, and brushed it out, I had a very feminine hairdo that so many girls my own age wore! Then Wendy began to dab a small amount of foundation on my face, then added a spot of blusher. "You look wonderful! Maybe a little lipstick." She handed me the tube from Pam's makeup kit, and I traced the soft reddish pink on my lips, then I saw the tube of lip gloss, reached out and added that. Now my lips had the wet look, and when I smiled, Wendy told me I radiated a very feminine look.

"I have to go Ma'am."

She motioned to the head, and I went in. I knew I would have to sit down, but that was when I found out how to manage it. Wendy added to my embarrassment by telling me how to take care of myself. I now had to sit down for all of my bodily functions, and I smiled to myself. Other than the clothes, it was just about the closest I would get to being the girl I always wanted to be. I finished and soon joined her back in the main cabin.

"Now all you need are some earrings." Wendy pierced my right ear with a needle and an ice cube and then put in a pair of Pam's pink and white button earrings." "Shall we go show the men?"

"Men" I thought. That should be me, and here I am, all dressed up like a teenage girl! "Do I have to use the name Pamela?" Wendy thought about it for a minute, then told me that Pamela's middle name was Jillian, and if I liked, I could be called Jill.

"Jill, I like that!"

"Okay Jill, let's go!" She took my hand in hers and we went out on the aft deck.
"Hello everyone! Let me introduce Jill!"

She had my hand, but even if I wanted to run away, where would I go? We were on a boat! I stepped out from behind her, and watched as Bill dropped the rope he was holding.

"Holy cow! You look great! I mean… but you…"

"I think we get the idea Bill."

Then Wendy told them both what the rules would be, and if they broke them then she would be "unhappy", and they knew what that meant!

"To avoid any confusion, she is using Pam's middle name. From now on she will be Jill."

From any angle, I looked like a young girl, and I knew it. Because of the glue job Wendy had done on me, I even had the same smooth front that all girls have. After the initial shock wore off, I went about my chores and we sailed until dusk that night, heaving to in a small lagoon on a small island about twenty miles off the south coast of Florida. The way I looked didn't quite go away, but the staring stopped and we all relaxed. Wendy and I made dinner, and after we ate, Bill asked me if I wanted to go swimming. I said yes without a thought and went below to change. For the trip I had been given Pamela's berth, and now, the minute I stepped into the berth, I realized that because of the changes, I would have to wear one of Pamela's suits. I rooted around in her clothes looking for a swimsuit, but the only swimsuit I could find was a bikini, so I stripped and put it on. I lacked the hips, but other than that I presented a pretty good picture of a girl my age. I looked in the mirror again and saw the way the bottoms fit me, and no matter how hard I tried I could not stop smiling at my reflection. I still wasn't sure about Bill's reaction to my being dressed this way, but somehow I knew that if I looked scared or afraid it would be worse than if I just accepted it and did my best. I drew a deep breath, and proudly went topside. When Bill first saw me walk out on deck, I thought he was going to choke. As he sputtered, I dove over the side and swam a short distance away from the boat.

He quickly followed me into the water, and swam over to me. My hair was plastered down of course, but I could not help see him look at my breasts and smile.

"You look better than Pamela ever did!"

Right then a wave of femininity washed over me and I began to like this being a girl even more than I imagined! The impact I was having on Bill was scary. He had known me all of my life, and he knew I was a boy just like him, and now, in spite of that, he was treating me like a girl! We stayed in the water for a while then went back to the boat. He went his cabin and I went into mine. I dried off, pulled the panties back on, then the shorty nightgown that had been put on the bunk. We both went back on deck, joining his parents for a game of cards. Bill I noticed, still had a hard time not staring at me.

The next morning after breakfast Wendy showed me how to do basic makeup and hair. We spent several hours in her stateroom as I put on the makeup and then washed it off until she was satisfied that I knew how to do it, then she and I went below so she could help prepare me to get through customs. She and I selected a complete set of clothes for me including lingerie. White panties and bra, and a short pastel green dress with a square cut neckline and two one inch wide straps. For shoes she selected white sandals.

"I'll get you up early Jill, and do your hair and makeup for you. See you then."

It was a tough night as I wondered how I was ever going to pass myself off as a girl. In the morning she came in and woke me early. I slipped on clean panties, then she took me to the head and washed my hair again, but this time she set it in rollers and used some sort of a gel. As the gel worked she wanted to help me get dressed, but I told her I could manage and went to my berth. The bra went on easily, and after I had it fastened I put in the pads and began my makeup. I thought I knew how to do it, I just never had much chance at home; I did my very best. The foundation was a good color for me and I spread it around my face evenly, then used a powder I found in Pam's makeup kit. After I brushed away the excess, I used a soft green eye shadow with a lilac highlight, followed by a black eyeliner. My hand held the applicator steady as I drew the thin line of black on my upper eyelids. Under my eye I used a dark pencil to finish outlining my eyes, then used just a hint of mascara to make the lashes longer. The blusher I used was lighter than the one Wendy had used, but I thought it looked better with the soft red lipstick I had selected. I pulled the pantyhose on, then the dress. I struggled to pull the zipper up until I found the trick to it. I settled the dress on my shoulders and put the shoes on just about the time Wendy returned. She was all dressed, and when she saw me she smiled.

"Why do I think you have done this before Jill?"

That brought fear to my heart, but she merely smiled and took me to her room where she took out the rollers and brushed my hair out.

"We'll have to find the perfect earrings for that dress."

She looked in her jewelry, found what she wanted, then inserted a pair of green earrings. Around my neck she put a thin gold chain with a pink and green pendant.

"Pam had a watch in her stuff, see if you can find that."

I went back to my berth, found the watch, and then dabbed on some really great smelling perfume. I couldn't help it. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror, grabbed the small white purse I had found, put my things in it. I had my lipstick and a small mirror, a wallet and some tissue. Then I went up on deck just as we were just pulling into port, and Bill stopped cold when he saw me. My skirt was blowing in the breeze, occasionally letting my panties show until I learned to hold the dress down. Once we were docked, Wendy and I went to the customs shed where she gave them all of the passports. The customs guy didn't even look up! We were okay to stay! The guys grabbed the suitcases and we hailed a cab for the best hotel in town.

Because of the circumstances, I was given my own room. Originally I would have shared with Bill, but now that I was supposedly a girl, added to the fact that his mother saw the way he was looking at me, I have my own room. After we all settled in we went walking, shopping in the many stores. Wendy and I were walking along when she jerked to a stop, and before I could see what she was looking at, she and I went into the store. I expected Bill and his dad to come in with us, and I even saw Bill start to enter, but his dad jerked him away! When I looked around I knew why. We were in a shop that sold lingerie and various other things. I was standing next to Wendy and heard her tell the woman…

"My daughter is a bit flat chested. Is there anything you can do to help her?"

I wanted to run out of the shop right then, but felt her restraining hand on my wrist. The woman simply motioned us to the back of the store and showed us a whole row of various breast forms, some of them so lifelike that it was scary! Wendy pointed to one, told the woman I need an 'A' cup, and the three of us went in the back where I had to take the dress off. I had to endure the woman measuring me, checking the color of my skin and so on before she returned with a pair of breast forms. She and Wendy smiled, and the next thing I knew I had two perfectly formed breasts attached, with some kind of glue, right on my chest! Then, the woman had me try on a very special panty. It was also flesh colored, but it was really not even a full panty. It went around my waist and down my cheeks, and when glued on would give me a proportional figure, which was 34/23/34 when she was done. I had to stand there naked as the woman applied first the glue, then the special panty. It went right up the back of my bottom! As we walked out of the store, Wendy said

"Now you have the shape to wear that bikini, or a different one if you like, and feel perfectly safe."

By this time I was used to having a skirt swirling around my legs, and with the addition of the hip and breast forms, I felt positively as feminine as I had ever hoped to get. It was my dream come true in every sense. Now if I could only quit smiling so much. Wendy must have guessed it because when she and I stopped for a soft drink, she asked me.

"I want you to tell me the truth Jill. You like dressing as a girl, and this is not the first time you have done this… is it?"

It was my moment of truth, and as I looked down, I saw the swell of my breasts under the thin material of the dress and almost swooned. "I guess."

"More than a guess Jill. I've been watching you, and you like being a girl. I've been watching you very carefully, and not once have you ever said or done anything to give yourself away. You didn't even say anything when I had you undress and made those changes with the glue. You didn't even put up much of a fuss when it was suggested that you dress as a girl. That tells me that you have done this before, more than once I'll bet.
Since this all started you have always used feminine gestures, and seem to be well aware of the mannerisms that girls your age use, something most boys never pay attention to. After I saw the way Bill reacted to you, and the way you two were smiling at each other I could see that you like it more than a little. Right?"

I looked into her face and felt a smile come to my face. "Yes, but don't tell Bill, he might try to date me!"

"Jill, he wants to now! You're not his sister; and you're very pretty! In fact, you remind me of a young Elizabeth Taylor. You listen to me Jill. He is a male, and you now look just as nice, if not better than a lot of girls your age do; so why shouldn't he be attracted to you?"

"But we… I've known him all my life! He knows I'm not a girl!"

"Yes that's true, but he is not thinking with his brain dear, boys rarely do. Males are visual creatures dear, and all he sees is a pretty girl…and that's you!" I sipped on my drink and I saw her watching me.

"Something wrong?" I asked.

"No, of course not. But since we now know that you like dressing this way, I was wondering if you wanted to join me at a salon. We could get our hair and nails done; then we could make the guys take us out on the town fancy tonight."

"I've only been a salon to pick up mom or my sisters!"

"All of us girls like to be pampered a bit, and now you can too." Go to a salon? And have my hair and nails done? How could I resist?

We had an hour before our appointment, so we went into a small dress shop where I bought my own bikini, and a very nice evening dress. Wendy also bought a dress for herself. In the salon, we sat side by side as the women worked on us. By my own choice, I had my sandy brown hair dyed a light shade of blonde. Unknown to me, my hair was set in a soft perm in a wavy style that left my hair in curls down the back while the top and sides were cut to frame my face. Wendy also had her naturally blonde hair lightened, and then our nails were done. The girl added acrylic extensions and painted mine a soft red. Then, we both had our makeup done. The woman did a fantastic job on me and I can tell you that I never looked better! By the time we left the salon I knew I was radiating femininity, and I never felt so good. We went back to the hotel where I went to my room; Wendy had told me to go ahead and change, so I undressed and laid out what I was going to wear. Wendy had told me that I should wear pantyhose because it was a fancy evening out. Since I liked the way they felt I told her I was going to wear them anyway and she just smiled at me. After I changed into a very pretty lace trimmed pink panty, I pulled the pantyhose on. The sensation the nylon gave me as they slid up my newly smooth legs was electric and I loved it as the nylon hissed up my smooth legs! Looking in the mirror, I knew that I had a chance to really strut my stuff, so I picked up the low cut pink bra, fastened the hooks pulled the straps up to my shoulders. I saw the way my new breasts were pushed together, swelling against the thin lacy cups, and knew that Bill would have a hard time not watching me!

One new thing for me was the waist nipper. I wrapped it around myself and fastened the eleven hooks and zipped it up, feeling my waist shrink. My waist was now 3 inches smaller! The dress I had bought was pink, with a diaphanous skirt and a fitted bodice. Wendy loved it the first time I tried it on, so we had bought it. Now, as I zipped it up and I could feel the material tighten around me, I once again saw how nice it looked. It had a square cut neckline, but it was low cut enough that just a tiny bit more than the tops of my breasts could be seen. The two straps that held the dress up were almost nonexistent they were so thin. The skirt portion was at least two inches above my knees while the dress hugged my waist, which was accented by my now wider hips. The way the skirt flared made me look, and feel, even more feminine than any time that day. I stepped into the pink shoes I had bought to match the dress, and then added pink and gold earrings. I wore a choker style gold chain with a small gold initial, a 'J', that Wendy had found and bought for me that afternoon. I took the perfume, and dabbed a bit on my neck, elbows, and knees, just like Wendy showed me. It seemed to me that I was in heaven, Every single thing that happened that day was centered on making me into a delectable young girl. I wore a darker rose lipstick, and after I had checked my purse, I took a deep breath and walked to Wendy's room and knocked on the door.

Howard, Bill's dad opened the door and the look on his face was worth the effort.

"Oh my!"

He opened the door and I went in. Wendy joined us and smiled at me. She checked me over and said I was fine, and as soon as she had her purse, the three of us went to get Bill. His reaction was even better than his dad's. His mother told him to escort me, and I took his arm as we went to the elevator and then to the restaurant. We were seated and had just started to look at the menus when I saw my parents walking in! I nudged Wendy and told her that I had to go… now!

"Nonsense. You stay put! There is a valid explanation and I am sure that they will understand." She held my hand as we all watched them walk across the dance floor, right up to our table.

"Hi Howard, Wendy. Where's Kevin? I thought he would be here."

Nobody said anything, but when Howard and Bill both looked at me, my mother knew right away. As they sat down to join us, my mother looked at me and asked,

"Kevin?"

"No mother. Jill. I'm Jill until we leave the island."

My dad almost swallowed his tongue! He turned a bit purple, but quickly calmed down when Howard related the effects of the storm and my losing all of my documents and clothes. My mother however seemed to love it. She asked me to stand up and spin around for her. It was obvious that I had breasts, which confused my dad, but mother didn't say anything at all. She just told me that we would have fun for the next few days! "We flew down to surprise you. The girls are away checking out the college, we had the time, so why not?"

After we ate dinner I had to use the ladies room and excused myself. But mom and Wendy joined me, and once we had left the table Wendy filled her in on exactly how feminine I had become. "The breast forms are perfect Darlene, and the panty gives her curves that are perfect for her size!" "Well, I can't wait to see this!" Afterwords Mom took my hand and we walked back to the table. Later, when the music started, I half expected Bill to ask me to dance, but a boy from another table came over, and asked me first! I wasn't sure if I should go with him, because it would only add one more thing to my quickly growing desire to stay this way. I also wondered what Bill would think, but mom told me to go ahead, and I let him take my hand and lead me to the dance floor.
He introduced himself as Bob and led me to the dance floor. Later, after that dance, Bob asked me if I would join him and some friends the next morning for a bike tour of the island. "If Bill can come, then yes." Is he your brother?" I shook my head no, but told him he was a very good friend, and I didn't feel right leaving him alone since his parents had asked me to come with them. "That's okay Jill, I have my sister along. Maybe we can fix him up!" I wanted to giggle but restrained myself. He left me at the table, but right in front of everyone, he kissed me! On the lips too! I was embarrassed, but nobody said anything although dad started to choke a bit as Bob left. The rest of the evening was wonderful. I danced with dad, Howard, and finally, Bill. He would never admit it of course, but I could feel him against me and I knew he was excited.
Mom insisted, so she stayed with me that night in my room. She helped me get undressed, and when she saw my 'breasts' I thought she was going to faint. Then I took down my panties and stood in front of her. Mom plopped down on the bed and sighed, "I guess it's true. All of those times you dressed up I thought it just playing! But now! Look at you!" I started to say something but mom interrupted me. "When this came up and it was suggested that you dress as a girl I'll bet you didn't fight it, am I right?" I grabbed my robe and wrapped it around myself and sat next to her. Now was the real moment of truth. I could never lie to my mother anyway, so I drew in a breath and told her the truth. "Not really, just enough of a fight to let Bill get the benefit of the doubt. You know that I have always liked to wear girls clothes, but this happened because of the storm and we had no other choice if I was going to stay on the island."
"That's what Wendy told me. She thought that you did it because you had to, right up to the point you let her manipulate you, then you confirmed it when you had those breast forms glued on. She told me that you lit up like a lamp as soon as you had them on. After that, she told me that you had your hair dyed, styled, and set in a perm, and your nails done. That was the clincher for her, and now that I have seen you, I agree. You don't like being a dressed, and taken for a girl, you love it!" I nodded my head yes as I looked at the floor. "Well, that turns out to be a good thing because it will take almost all summer, and maybe longer for that perm to grow out! So unless you want a crew cut, you'll have to stay a girl for a while, and that means at home too."
I was really shaken when mom told me that, and I blurted out, "What about dad?"
"I'll take care of your father!"

The next morning I was up early and had changed into clean panties and a bra, had the pink shorts on and was sitting at the vanity doing my makeup when mom got up. She helped me brush out my hair, and after she had changed we joined dad in his room. He took one look at me, and then at my mom. "Well?" he asked,

"Jill", she said, "could take a shower in the girls locker room and not one person would think she was a boy!" He just stared at me for a minute, then stood up.

"Your mother tells me that you have had your hair done in a perm, is that right?"

"Yes sir."

He looked at my nails, then had me turn around. My breasts bounced in the bra like any other girls would, my butt cheeks half hung out of the shorts, and he could clearly see that all signs of my maleness were gone. The hair and nails confused him a lot. "I can understand the reason of course, it was to get you ashore, but why the rest? It seems like so much for so little!" I looked at mom for support, but she sat on the bed quietly waiting for me to tell my father that I wanted to be a girl. After the last few days, it was true; I did like and want to be a girl, and could not deny it.
I walked over to him and took his hands in mine and looked up into his face. All of my fears about what he would think of me disappeared. Maybe it was the way I was dressed, maybe it was the way I felt; I don't know, but I held his hands and told him,

"Because I like it dad. I like being dressed this way. I like being a girl, and so far, I like everything about it." I waited for him to lash out at me, but all he did was sit on the chair and look at me.

"I guess I should have known all along. When your mother told me about the time she caught you all dressed up I should have known the first time I saw you at the hotel." He had a resigned look on his face and I wondered what he was going to do. "You're 15 now and old enough to know what you like I guess. All I want for you is to be happy in life, but I never expected it to be as a female!" "Dad" I said, but he held up his hand and stopped me. "You have said what you wanted, so now you are going to get it. Starting right now you will wear nothing but women's clothing, and as soon as we get home you and your mother will get you a wardrobe suited to your new station in life." Then he held his arms out to me and I fell into them, hugging him as tight as I could. "Just remember, the Benson girls do not do anything they are not supposed to with boys!" I laughed and told him not to worry, I couldn't get pregnant! Then we went to breakfast, meeting Bill and his parents in the café. Bob and his sister were across the room, and after we had all eaten Bill and I joined Bob and his sister Mary at their table.

We rented bikes and started our tour. Mary had just turned 16, and immediately had Bill's eye. She was a beauty with raven hair and smoothly flawless skin and a smile that would melt ice. As good as I thought I looked, next to her I felt like a sack of potatoes! Bob made sure he was always next to me the whole time as we biked around for about an hour before we stopped on a crest that overlooked the harbor. We could see our boat from there, bobbing up and down on the calm, clear, azure water. Bob and I were sitting down when we saw Mary and Bill wander down a trail. I was alone with him for the first time! He wasted no time and took my hand in his and pulled me closer to him. I was looking into his deep brown eyes when he kissed me, and it was electric as his lips touched mine. I felt myself melting inside. I had never in my life thought that I would kiss another boy, but here I was, and I liked it! This was never part of my dream, but as his lips touched mine I accepted it as one more step in my transformation. He pushed his tongue against my lips and unbidden, my mouth opened to accept him. My head was back and he had his hand on mine with his tongue deep in my mouth when Bill and Mary returned! There was no denying that we were kissing, they had seen us; and there was no denying that I liked it. Bill looked at me a little strangely, but he and Mary were also flushed, so everybody just let it drop.

Later we stopped at a small restaurant and ate lunch. Mary and I went to the restroom, leaving the guys alone. "Bob really likes you Jill, more than a little to I'll bet."

"It looks like you and Bill hit it off pretty good to Mary!"

We fixed our lipstick, used the stall, and rejoined the guys. On the way back to the hotel we all agree to meet later on the terrace after dinner. Bill and I went to the elevators, and on the way up he asked me why I liked being a girl. What could I tell him? I mixed things up and gave him an answer he could accept.

"Mom, dad, and I have decided that this is the way I will be dressing for a while Bill, and if I have to dress as a girl I might as well act like one!"

He looked at me and the stunned look on his face said it all. "When I suggested that you… I never thought that you would… what I mean is…"

"I know what you mean Bill. But I have to tell you the truth. I have been dressing up as a girl for a long time, and now, I have my parents permission."
"I never knew!"

Just then the doors popped open and we got off. Bill took my arm and we went into a small alcove near the phones.

"You mean that when we get home you'll still be dressing as Jill!" I nodded my head yes. Then he surprised me. "Would you go out with me?"

"No Bill. You're like a brother to me! How could I?" He took the news that I was going to continue dressing as a girl pretty well, and considering everything we knew about each other, it was a huge step for him.

I went to my room and found my mother unwrapping some packages. "I was out today with Wendy and we found some darling items for you!" I was beginning to think that my mother was enjoying this almost as much as I was, and I had to ask her about it!

"Mom, why are you doing this? I mean, you said that you were always proud of me!"

Mom sat down on the bed and looked at me. "I won't lie to you Jill. When your father was your age he had a friend named Kenny, his best friend. When Kenny was 16 he hung himself, and your father was the one that found him; Kenny was completely dressed as a girl when he died. Your father was his best friend and he had no idea that Kenny wanted to dress like a girl, and for months he wondered what he would have done if he had known. Finally Kenny's mother told him that she had known about it for a long time and just let it slide since it seemed so harmless. Your father was a wreck for a long time, and we were just starting to date back then. When he told me about Kenny he was crying so hard it broke my heart. It took a long time, but eventually he got back to normal, but I knew that he really missed Kenny and had never gotten over his death. When we saw you all fixed up, it was obvious by the way that you looked that it was more than a passing thing; what with the boobs and that fake vagina you have. No male would let that happen unless he wanted it to happen it to happen. When your father and I saw you, I knew that all of those terrible days after Kenny died had come back to haunt him. I was shocked, not that you wanted to dress as a girl, but by the changes you let happen to you. But not nearly as much as your father was." She reached out and took my hand. "Your father is determine, to make sure you do not do what Kenny did, and he has decided to let you be yourself rather than lose you, and if that means that you live and dress as a girl then that's what you'll do." I didn't know what to say! Mom did. "Since you have decided to dress like a girl, you will have to have the same rules as your sister's had, and some of the same classes they took." I wondered just what she meant, then she told me. "Both of your sister's took ballet and aerobics classes to keep trim and learn to be graceful. In your case, we'll have to add some classes on hair care and makeup." I was to stunned to react, but her words sank into my mind as I realized what I had done to my father. I never intended to hurt him in any way. "We are still proud of you Jill because it takes a very strong person to admit something like this." She pulled me to her and we sat there hugging for a few minutes.
"Let me show you what we found." I looked on as she held up each item. The very first item she held up was a suit. It had a white round neck jacket with dark blue piping and a straight, dark blue skirt. Then a white camisole and dark blue heels to match. Next was a jar of the adhesive the woman used to attach my breast forms and special panty. "I found these on sale!" Mom held up about twenty pairs of earrings! "You better get ready for dinner Jill. Do you need any help?"

"Maybe with my hair mom. "Call me when you're ready for me Jill."

Since I now knew where I stood with my parents, I decided to go all out. I found a pair of white lace panties with a satin and lace insert in the front and pulled them on. Then I began my makeup. If I was going to live as a girl then I would have to do my own makeup from now on, so I did the very best I could. I started with the foundation, spread it out evenly, then used the powder to set it. After I brushed away the excess I used a light blue on the very edge of my eyelids followed by a deeper lilac and finally, a thin line of mauve. I used the sponge like Wendy had shown me and blended the colors so that they flowed easily from one to the other. Then I applied the dark, sable black liquid eyeliner on my upper lids and let each one dry before I did the next. After that, I used a black pencil under my eyes to finish the outline of my eyes. I stroked my eyes several times with the mascara making them fuller, longer, and sexier I thought. I pulled the pinkish red blusher across my cheeks, spreading it out evenly and making my face seem to glow. Then I returned to the bed to get the rest of my clothes on.
Pam had a thing for pink I guess, because she had packed a pink and white corsolet, which I found the day before. I wrapped it around myself and fastened the hooks in the front and pulled the laces until my ribs hurt. Now I filled out the bra cups of the corsolet completely! My breasts had swelled and I felt so sexy! I noticed that my boobs, now at least a full 'B' cup, and would jiggle whenever I moved. Then I took the full, pink slip from the bed and placed it over my head. After I had pulled it down I saw that it hugged every curve of my new shape; the slip was quite short, coming a good 6" above my knee, and barely covered the garters hanging from the corsolet. A beautiful pink and white floral print dress was next. It was strapless, the neckline so deep that it exposed both my shoulders and accented my breasts. I had to struggle to zip it up, and the corsolet hurt so much that I quit trying and called mom. She came over and zipped it up. The dress hugged my body tightly, making mom whistle. "That's some dress Jill!" The short skirt had a hemline that was almost 4" above my knee! Mom secured the three pearl buttons down the front, and I looked in the mirror. It was beginning to look like a fun night! "Mom, I don't know how to use these." I pointed to the garters, and mom told me to sit down. She couldn't find any hosiery, so she removed the garters and I pulled on some pantyhose. At that point Mom left me to change and I brought out the white pumps with 3" heels. They had small bows adorning the top of each toe. As soon as I stepped into the pumps, I had a little trouble walking in them at first, but was soon mastering short feminine steps. I walked over to the full mirror and with my first look, I felt that I had achieved my goal. Before this I was always concerned that I would look like one of the ugly sister's, when it was more like Cinderella that emerged.

Standing In front of the mirror I could not believe it. I was actually sexy! From my feet, adorned with sexy pumps, my legs wrapped in nylons fully exposing my thighs right to the short hem of the dress. I had on the most beautiful dress, and as I turned around to see the low cut back of the dress, I saw just how sexy I looked from every angle. To complete the look I wanted, I put a beautiful pearl necklace around my neck. It was complemented by drop pearl earrings that mom had bought that afternoon! Looking at myself in the mirror, the only thing missing was a beautiful hairstyle to finish the look, so I called mother to help me achieve it.
When I saw her, I knew for sure that my mother had accepted me as her daughter. I sat and watched as mother quickly brushed my hair out, using the barrettes pull it back on the sides, just like I wanted. Then she spritzed it stiff with hairspray and watched as I added a deep rose lipstick to my lips, and some perfume to my neck, elbows and wrists. I grabbed my purse, and joined mother in her room. My father was watching television when I walked in; he saw me and almost choked on his pipe. All traces of his son had disappeared, and in my former place stood a girl named Jill, in all of her glory. "You look…wonderful Ke… Jill." It was clearly hard for him to accept that me, his son, could look so feminine, almost better than his other two daughters! "Shall we go?" Mom and I each took one of his arms, and the three of us went to dinner, walking to our table proudly, as parents, and daughter. Later, after dinner, Bob came to the table and with my fathers permission, escorted me to the patio where we sat under the stars above the sparkling fountain. The air was calm and it was a warm night.

I was excited, both, because I was being taken for a girl, and he wanted to be alone with me, because I was a girl. "You look ravishing Jill, I could not imagine what this vacation would have been like if I had not met you." "You would have met someone else and you know it!" I gave him a tap on the arm, and he pulled me to him. The kiss he gave me was not at all like earlier, this one was loaded with passion and lust! I didn't struggle at all because I didn't want to, and he when he put my hand on his lap I knew just how much he was turned on, because I was turned on too, but I was way over my depth and quickly pulled my hand away. We stayed out there for an hour or so before we went inside. Later, I gave him my number and address. He walked me to my room, but not before he got the evil eye from dad and I got the 'be a good girl' look from mom. The next day we were supposed to sail back, but my parents decided that I would fly with them, so I dressed in the blue and white suit, packing up all of Pam's things and leaving the case with Wendy. Bill surprised me when he kissed me on the cheek! "Have a nice flight sis." Embarrassed, I left for the airport with my parents. The flight was short and uneventful, and nobody looked at me in any way strange. I had to use Pam's passport to get back in the country though.

As soon as we got home I went to my room to change, but the only clothes I had were my male clothes, and before I could even think about wearing any of them, mom came in and handed me a skirt and blouse. "Put these on and wear your penny loafers Jill, we have some shopping to do." I hung up the suit and looked at what she had brought me. It was a dark blue and green plaid pleated skirt and a simple white blouse that belonged to my sister. My hair was in the French braid and my makeup was fine, so I slipped them on and joined mom in the kitchen. "It's only one o'clock now, so we have plenty of time." She looked at me and asked me if I was sure. "This is your last chance Jill. If we leave the house you'll be telling us that you would rather be a girl than a boy. I grabbed my purse, opened the back door and stepped outside. "I'm ready if you are mother." "Okay, let's go!" she said.

I followed mom to the car and we went to the mall. Walking in was hard for a minute but it quickly passed and we went into a huge family oriented department store and straight to the lingerie department. "You need everything Jill! Let's start with the basics." She started handing me things like packages of panties, four bras, size 34A, two half slips and two full slips, and lastly, a sanitary belt! "Mom! I don't need that!" "Yes I know dear, but all girls your age need them, and it would be unusual if you didn't wear one as well!" Then we went to the Junior department where we bought five skirts, seven blouses, some shorts and tops in various colors, three dresses, and two suits. After that, it was shoes and jewelry. On the way out we stopped at a makeup counter where I had my colors done and we bought me a complete makeup kit. I was exhausted from the load so we went to the car and put it all in the trunk and headed back in. I was familiar with the look on her face; Mom was on a mission. At a sports store I got a purple leotard with straps that made it look like a swimsuit, a one piece pink body stocking, and stretchy briefs in a bright green. I also bought a pair of white aerobics shoes with pink trim. For the ballet class she told me I would be taking, mom insisted that I wear all white and black, and what she bought was a black spandex leotard that crisscrossed at the bodice and in the back. With that I would wear white tights and new ballet shoes. By the time we got home and hauled everything in the house I was tired, but dad told me to hang everything up and put the rest in my dresser. "But use Karen's room!" I was surprised, but did as I was told. When I walked into her room, I saw nothing had changed, except that a lot of her clothes were gone. I started to put things away when Mom came in and closed the door.
"That glue Wendy used won't hold forever Jill, and I need to look at you and see if we can do it again, or find another way to hide your… well, hide you. Why don't you strip for me and let me check." I finished putting things away and undress until I was naked, then I lay on the bed and let mom check me out. I heard a lot of oh's and ah's before she stood up. "Wendy was very clever! But I'll check with the doctor before we try it again. In the meantime I want you to wear this." She held up the sanitary belt. I stood up and she showed me how to put it on and fasten the pad. "I want you to wear that for a while to see how it feels. Put some panties and shorts on with a top and meet us on the patio." After she left I did as she asked me, and that heavy pad between my legs made me feel funny, kind of like I did when I dressed in secret, and I was sure that I had a bulge in my shorts, but when I looked in the mirror, I still had the smooth tapered front my sisters had.
Dad was cooking on the grill, so I helped mom set the table and so on. The burgers were great and we didn't bring up my change once. It was a very pleasant evening. Early the next morning I went online to check my e-mail, and while I was at it I checked around the Internet for some kind of device that would make it appear as if I had a normal vagina, and I found it. In fact, the outfit that sold it was located about 30 miles from where we lived! I printed out everything and then got dressed. Mom told me that I had to change the pad every day, so I did that and put on one of my new skirts. It was short, almost halfway up my legs, a pleated red skirt that I had picked out myself. I wore a white blouse with red piping and my new tennis shoes. I did my makeup and hair, then grabbed my printout and went to the kitchen. Dad was there ready to go back to work and I bounced over and kissed him. He watched me as I spun around and went to the refrigerator. When I bent over it was from the waist, just like I always had done, and gave him a clean shot of my panties! "Jill!" When I looked, mom was there and told me to bend at the knees when ever I wanted something, or else I would be showing everyone my assets!" I sat and ate breakfast, kissed dad when he left, then showed mom what I had found on the Internet. She read everything and looked at the full color pictures, and when I saw her smile I knew she had found her answer. "Let's go there and check it out Jill. You can practice your driving."
I drove carefully and got there just as the man was just opening the shop. We went in and found out that the man made all sorts of devices. Fake hands and arms, breast forms, legs, noses, even ears! His name was Samuel; he was about 60 I think, with a shock of white hair. "Can I help you ladies?" Mom told him about me, which was a little embarrassing, but he did not even flinch. "Of course! But they are special made and will take a while to make. Can you leave the girl here while we work? It will take at least 5 hours, but it will be worth it I assure you." Mom asked him how much and he named the cost. Mom said she would be back at 2 that afternoon and left me there! Samuel closed his shop and took me to the back room where he asked me to strip so he could see what had been done. I did as he asked and soon found myself on a table with my legs spread wide and held up by two moveable posts with heel rests. He poked a few minutes and then returned with a jar of something. "We'll have to remove the glue they used. It will cause the skin to tear and might cause an infection. He swabbed my groin with something that had a sharp smell, but within minutes he had freed my small male member and released everything else. He cleaned everything up, then used a plastic prop to hold everything where he wanted it while he cast a mold of my groin. "That's is so you have something to remember it by!" Then he pushed a tilted mirror over me so I could see everything he was doing. Once again I felt my testicles being pushed into my body, and as I watched he dabbed a flesh colored substance over them and after a few minutes let go. My testicles had disappeared! Then he held my penis tightly against my skin and held it there with a slight pressure, and used the same stuff to set it in. He left for a moment, returning with a thin latex covering that was so realistic that I could hardly believe it. He pushed it over my small member, pushed down and held it there for a moment, then attached the device to my skin with the same adhesive. When he was done he used a blow dryer to set the whole thing. I was watching him as he lubricated his left index finger, and inserted it all the way into my brand new fake vagina!
"How did you do that!" "It's made that way little one. Many girls like you want to be able to take care of their boyfriends, so I made it possible for you to do that too!" While I was excited at that prospect, and while Mom might understand, dad never would, so I decided not to tell him! Samuel had made it so that it was the exact shade as my own skin tone, even to the color of the hair! The seams were undetectable as far as I could tell, I now looked like my sisters, and it would be very difficult to say I was not a girl! "Roll over so I can take care of that side too. I heard him grunt when he saw the padding I was using. "Caribbean?" "Yes sir! How did you know?" "She used to work for me." Then, he put his finger under the seam and said, "Not good enough!", and ripped them off! He cleaned the area and had me stand up. He took some measurements and then made a cast my entire bottom, gave me a robe to wear, and I watched him as he made a male mold of my butt, then pulled several precast forms from a shelf. Once he selected one, he joined the two and poured in a mixture, then put it in an oven. "Now we can check these breast forms Sara sold you." He examined them very carefully, then used the same solvent to remove the left one. My skin was all shriveled up and he shook his head. "Nice forms, but they did not fit as well as they should have. We'll have to make a few changes." He removed the other one and took them to his bench and thoroughly cleaned them. He gave me a salve to rub on my chest while he worked, and as I rubbed it in, I watched him carefully. Using plaster, he cast my chest, and after it dried he made the male mold again and checked the forms against it. "Just as I thought! No depth!" I had no idea what he was talking about but watched as he used a scalpel to open the back of each form and remove some of the contents. Then he injected something into the gel like stuff inside the breast forms and waited.
"They made your skin shrivel because water got behind them. I have injected a chemical that will make them porous and not hurt the underlying skin. Now the water will not hurt you if it gets behind the form." He left them off while we waited for the oven to ding. In the time we waited he and I had a coffee, and I found out that he was famous. He had worked in Hollywood for years making devices for the movies. He even had an Oscar! He checked the skin on my chest several times, adding more lotion each time. When we heard the timer on the oven we went to the workroom where he trimmed the panty to fit me exactly. This one looked better and certainly matched my skin tone better. Like the vagina, it was perfect in color. He told me to stand still, and applied the adhesive to both my butt and the device. When he told me he was done I looked in the mirror and saw nothing but a nicely rounded bottom. My backside now matched the front side! I went in and put my panties and skirt back on, returning just as the timer went off on the breast forms. He very carefully attached them, using the same adhesive he used on my butt. When he was done, he poked a finger out and as I watched, he touched my right breast, and I felt it! "I felt that! How did you do that?" "Easy little one. The chemical I added makes the gel touch sensitive, and when it moves you feel it in your own skin! I did the same on the butt pads, except I built it in." I couldn't help it as I hugged him tightly before he told me to go finish dressing. When I returned he told me how to take care of everything. "Essentially, you maintain yourself like any woman. If you have sex, be sure to douche afterwords. If you need a larger size or they need repair, come to me. Do not try to fix it yourself!"
Mom had not arrived yet so we sat and had another coffee. He was easy to talk to, and I told him how I came to need his services. He just looked at me for a moment, then he told me that there was another girl in my school just like me, and a teacher too! I tried, but he would not tell me who the other girl was. "I won't tell anyone about you either Jill." Right on the dot, mom showed up, and he explained every single thing he did and why. He also told her that I was not the only special girl in my school. She paid him, and we drove home. On the way I told her that he said there was a teacher like me too! We could not figure out who it was so we gave up, but she wanted to see his work as soon as we got home.
In my room I removed my clothes, and showed her. I even let her stand behind me and touch me. Each time I was able to put my finger on the exact spot she had touched me! Being foolish or stupid, I also showed that I could put a finger in my vagina all of the way. She flopped on the bed and I thought she was going to pass out, but she had me get dressed and left the room.
Bill came over and wanted to play on my computer, but mom told him no boy/girl combination in my room! "Your mom is taking this very serious,… Kev… Jill! We used to lock ourselves in your room for hours at a time!" "I know that Bill, but that was before… this happened to me. Now mom says that I have the same rules my sisters had!" Bill didn't know about the changes I had made that very morning, and I certainly wasn't about to tell him, at least not right then. He looked at the short skirt and top I had on, my nails and hair, and my small boobs poking against the sweater, smelled the perfume, saw the makeup, and I knew that he had a lot of questions but was afraid to ask them. "Want to walk over to the arcade?" I asked mom and she said it was okay, so he and I left. I grabbed my purse and as I spun around my skirt flew up and I know he saw my panty clad butt, but I didn't care, because I had done it on purpose.
As soon as we walked in we saw Brian and his pal Brent. They thought of themselves as God's gift to the female half of the population; both of them stared at me for a minute, then asked Bill how a scag like him managed to get a chick as nice as me to be seen with him. Bill started to get angry but I squeezed his arm and he fell silent. "What ever gave you the idea that I would find a pretty boy like you attractive?" I thought Brian was going to choke! He wasn't used to having a girl turn him down for any reason! He had money, good looks, smarts, and was Captain of the football team. Bill and I walked away from them and found a table. Bill went to get us a soft drink while I waited at the table. Because I was 'new', Brian and Brent had been caught without an answer, and I felt great because for the first time I was able to put them down. As a skinny boy, I was ignored by a lot of the kids, certainly by those two.
"That was pretty gutsy Jill. If they find out about you you're dead meat around here!" "They won't Bill, I can prove I'm a girl if I have to." His mouth popped open and I knew he had a whole different set of questions he wanted to ask me. I could guess what they were. We played some games, then he walked me home, his hand firmly wrapped around mine.
Just as I walked in I saw my sister Kathy in the kitchen, and before I could do or say anything, she stopped and looked at me. "Hi sis! Mom told us that you had changed, but damn! I never expected that you would look so pretty!" She gave me a hug and the two of us set the table for dinner. Kathy and I were still in the kitchen when Karen and mom came in. "All three of my girls in one place!" "Mom, you described her, but you forgot to tell me that my new sister looked so hot as a girl! I never would have suspected that a boy could, or would, look better than me!" I gave her a hug, and when dad came home, we ate dinner. Afterwords we cleaned off the table and did the dishes. "Mom told me that you look so good that you can even take showers in the girls locker room and nobody could tell! Is that right?" "Sure! You know that we don't go half way in this family!" There was doubt written all over her face, and I knew that if my sister's were to accept me this way, they had to believe that I could, and did, look like a girl, all over. "Come to my room later and I'll show you." That night as I went up to change into a nightgown, my Mom and both of my sister's joined me in my room, watching as I peeled my panties down and removed my bra. "I had a few changes made." Almost as a chorus, they chimed, "That is an understatement!" I got dressed in my nightgown and my sister just watched in amazement. The next morning she went back to school and I settled into my new bedroom. I cleaned the vanity and replaced the old makeup with my own, cleaned the mirror and added pictures of my own. Bill and I in the islands, Bill, Bob, Mary, and I on our bike trip. I spent to whole day cleaning the room and sorting things out. Some of what Karen had left behind I kept, like barrette's and so on. She had also left her school sweater and some blouses and skirts. I had a pretty good assortment of clothes to choose from now, and they were all mine! Mom came in later and helped me sort things out and clean up. We moved the bed and dresser to a different location and vacuumed the carpet. By the end of the day I was beat and after dinner just lounged and watched television.
I was getting dressed when Janet, the girl that lived down the street called and asked to speak to Jill! I knew that I had not told her, so it had to be Bill. "Can I come over Jill?" "Sure, why not?" I also knew, that I would have to be brave. If she knew, everyone would find out, and I still had to attend school here. I had no choice but to do my best and stand there proudly, because she was one of the most popular and influential girls in school. I had on dark blue shorts and a pink top with my white tennis shoes. I pulled my hair back away from my face with barrettes and did my makeup and added some small gold hoop earrings. I wore soft red lipstick and a tiny bit of perfume; I was ready. I went to the kitchen and had just poured some coffee when the doorbell rang. I opened the door, and not only Janet, but Michelle and Kelly were standing there! The pause seemed to go on forever, but I opened the door wide and let them in. "Bill said that there was a new girl living here named Jill, and we just had to check you out!" Michelle was always the one to speak up first. "Where's Kevin? I know he lives here." I thought it was now or never and started to tell them, but mom walked in right then, and told them, "Kevin does not live here any more. Jill is staying with us now." There was a very long, very pregnant pause, before Janet spoke up. "Well, whatever. We were going to go to have a pool party tonight and thought that you might want to come." I could hardly say no, because then they would have thought I was a snob, or worse, that I was Kevin! I looked at mom and she nodded her head yes. "I'd love to! Thank you for asking." "Come over at 6” she said, “I have invited some of the girls to be there a bit earlier. The party starts at 7. See you then." I watched them as they left, wondering just what was going on.

"One of them has decided that you're probably Kevin, and they want you to be there when they change into their suits so they can see for themselves."

I knew mom was right, and smiled at the surprise they were about to get! I called Bill and found out he was going, and cautioned him to keep silent about me, and he promised he would. Then I went to my room to get ready. After another bout with the cream hair remover and a long bubble bath, I washed my hair and began to set out what I was going to wear that night. My new bikini of course, but I selected my clothes for later in the evening with great care. I now had the chance to be the girl I had always wanted to be, and I wasn't about to let the chance slip by. I would be with my friends, only this time as the new girl on the block. With the body to match, courtesy of Samuel, I was going to prove that I was a girl, inside and out.

I went in the bath and powdered myself, then I started with a pair of black bikini panties that had high cut sides, a black bra that Karen had left, a short black skirt, and a red blouse. Pantyhose and black heels of course completed the outfit. I pulled the panties on and sat at the vanity. I liked my hair pulled to the back, but for tonight, I fixed it in a slightly wild pageboy. My bangs were higher and the sides a bit fuller. My makeup was my usual foundation, but on my eyes I used dark green, lilac, and copper, with black eyeliner and pencil. I slipped the bra around myself and fastened the hooks and adjusted the straps so that my boobs were hiked up a bit, like two ripe melons. The thin lacy cups of the bra let my nipples poke against the material just right! The pantyhose were nude, sheer to the waist and made my legs look, and feel, sexy. The short skirt was one that fit me just right, and girl, it was short! I had seen Karen wear it many times and admired it each time. It was at least five inches above my knees. The blouse was short sleeved and was one of my new ones. I buttoned it up and stepped into my shoes. For lipstick I used the dark, fire engine red I liked, but had rarely worn. Some more perfume, red and gold earrings and a gold chain around my neck. As soon as I put the lipstick on I knew I looked hot! I felt that I was totally female right then and I loved it! I put my bikini and a towel in a small bag with some makeup, a brush and hairspray, grabbed my purse, and went to tell mom I was leaving in a few minutes. She took one look at me, sighed, and just shook her head. "Don't get into any boy trouble Jill."

"You know I can't get pregnant!"

"That true but none of my girls are going to be known as easy, and that includes you!"

"Mom!"

"I know, but my girls, of which you now are one, will behave like ladies, understand?" I nodded my head yes, hugged her and left the house just as dad was driving in the driveway. I waved, and he just stared at me!

Janet met me at the door and we went to her family room where Michelle and Kelly, along with Marcie and Heather were waiting. "Everyone, this is Jill Benson." We all said hi, then Janet suggested that we change before the boys started to arrive. "Lets make them crazy right from the start!" I followed them to Janet's room and began to undress. Michelle and Heather had their suits on already, but Kelly, Janet, and I stripped, and just as I took off my bra I noticed that they were all staring at me. "What?" "Nothing Jill. We thought that someone was pulling a trick on us that's all." I slid my panties down and stood up, then turned to face them before I walked to the bed and opened my bag. My bikini was pink with small bows on the hips and in the center of the bra. I pulled on the bottoms and snugged them up, then with some help from Heather tied the bra strings tight. I looked as good as they did, and in two cases, better! Janet and Kelly quickly finished getting their suits on and I was ready to leave the room when Janet stopped me. "I have to be honest Jill, we thought that you were Kevin, dressing as a girl. Obviously we were wrong, I'm sorry." "That's okay Janet, I understand. I live at his house, and he hasn't been seen in a long time. It might lead to some confusion." We all giggled and bit and went to the patio to await the boys and drive them crazy, per plan.

Brian and his sidekick Brent were there of course, as was Bill, Fred, Greg, and Dave. Six and six. Janet planned it well. Marcie and Fred were an item the last I knew, Brian and Kelly of course, then Janet and Brent. That left Heather, Michelle, and I to split Bill, Dave, and Greg. I kind of wanted to stay with Bill, but Greg came over to me and it was settled as I saw Bill take Heather's arm. Somebody put some music on, then Greg took my hand and pulled me to him.

"You're new around here aren't you?"

"Yes, but I feel as if I have known all of you for years Greg."

He held me tight while we danced, then we sat at the table. He took his pants and shirt off exposing his swimsuit. It was boxer style. Since the last time I had seen him he had sprouted hair all over, and reminded me of a bear!

"Want to take a dip Jill?"

"As long as my hair doesn't get wet!"

He slid into the pool and I followed him. The water wasn't cold, and I quickly adjusted to it.

"Listen Jill, I have this old car I've been working on. How about you and I riding tomorrow? I know some real nice places to visit."

"I'll bet you do!"

"Really. I want to get to know you better Jill, a lot better."

There was no doubt about it, by any standard he was handsome, and he never had any trouble that I knew of, in getting a date. My problem was that I found him handsome too! That ugly, mental reminder of my maleness raised its head and I almost said no, but Janet and Brent said they were riding in his roadster the next day.

"Maybe we can meet somewhere; have dinner or something" Brent said.

"Okay by me, I just have to convince Jill here to go."

I was beat and knew it. Besides, now I had what I always wanted, to be accepted as a girl, and besides, I really wanted to go. "Okay! You win! I'll go."

We girls went to change clothes and when I returned Greg let out a low whistle. Even Bill smiled. I looked as sexy as I felt. We danced some more, and I let Greg walk me home. At the door I let him kiss me, then I went in, and leaving him wanting more, just like my sister Kathy told me to do.
The next morning I told mom and dad about the ride. "Greg will be here around noon to get me, so I have to go get ready."

"I want to meet this young man Jill."

"Daddy!" I surprised myself because I had never called him daddy before! It just popped out. Dad reminded me to remember to bring the young man in to meet them. I went to my room to try and decide what to wear. Mom came in and asked me about the party, so I told her the whole story.

"You were right mom. They just wanted to make sure I was a girl!"

"And now they think you are, right?"

"With Samuel's help, they sure do!"

"I'll leave you to get ready. What are you wearing?" I told her that I thought I would wear the white shirtwaist dress with the orchid print.

"Sounds very nice dear." She started to leave, then told me that I had a doctors appointment on Monday morning. She left, and I pulled off my robe and nightgown and got ready.

White cotton panties and a lacy white bra, pantyhose and white flats, then I did my makeup, but barely using any foundation and a minimum of eyeshadow, and brown eyeliner instead of black. I wore pink lipstick and a coral blusher. The dress was two inches above my knees and I barely showed a hint of cleavage. Because we would be in an open car, I pulled my hair into a ponytail and used a pink elastic to hold it. A dash of perfume, and I was ready.

Greg came in and met my parents, and after dad gave him the evil eye, we left.

"Boy! Your dad is careful about you! I gave him a tap on the arm and told him...

"He just wants to be sure that I'm not dating an axe murderer."

He gave me that thousand watt smile of his and told me he wasn't a murderer, but a vampire. "I only want to bite you my dear!" That was something I was pretty sure was true! He was a good driver and I sat back and let the wind ruffle my hair. We stopped at Promontory point, and the view was magnificent. "Jill" he said, and as I turned, he kissed me, gently at first, but then he pulled me to him and I had no control. I collapsed in his arms. I felt his tongue meet mine and we swapped spit for a few minutes, then he got out and opened the trunk. I watched as he unfolded the blanket, then motioned for me to join him. He sat, and I sat next to him, and almost immediately he pushed me to my back and started to kiss me again, and I knew I wanted to do more than Dad or mom would have liked. When I felt his hand on my breast I knew I was right. I turned a bit and he had his hand completely on my breast. As he massaged it I could feel every movement, even when he squeezed it. He had me panting but he did not relent. I felt his hand on my leg, my upper thigh, stroking me while he kissed me. All at once he put his hand on my sex and I squealed "No!". He backed off, but he was panting just as hard as I was, and when he put my hand on his hardness I could not help myself. It was the first time I had ever touched another erection other than my own, but I was so excited that I left it there for a moment before I jerked it away. He had his tongue in my mouth and while I never thought about it, he began to move to cover me. I quickly rolled away and stood up, panting in frustration, lust, and fear. I was ashamed of what I, we, had done and stood up, brushing my skirt off. I had become so excited that I had let Greg go farther than I had never envisioned, ever! Yet, at the same time, I felt very feminine. A warm sensation drifted over me as I realized that I was because he wanted me to be his woman. It was like I had become the female I looked like, and in my desire to please Greg, I had released a wave of femininity in me that I never knew that I had. I also knew that Bill would certainly find out, because the boys always had a tendency to brag about their conquests, and necking on a blanket, in their minds, was just a short step from getting a girl in bed; at least they though so. I know that I did at one time. Now I knew it was not true. I wondered if Bill could keep my secret when this hit the grapevine. Greg and I packed up the car and drove to the restaurant and met Janet and Brent there. She and I immediately went to the restroom and fixed our hair and makeup.

"Greg really has the hots for you Jill. Brent told me that you were all he talked about after the party last night."

I knew he had the hots for me, and I wondered if I would succumb to his efforts to get me in bed with him. "I know Janet, that man is an octopus!" She laughed and told me that she thought all males had four hands when they were with a girl they wanted! We rejoined the boys and had a pleasant lunch, then afterwords he took me home.

That night I must have moped around or something because mom asked me to join her in her sewing room. "Tell me what happened Jill. The way you're acting, something happened, and I want you to tell me what it was." I sat on the bench and told her the entire story. "It just happened mom! I never thought I would do that… ever!" She was real calm about it, which surprised me.

"I guess I should have known this would happen." She sat next to me and took my face in her hands. "Jill, you are trying to live an entire lifetime of being a girl in a very short time. I know it's hard for you. The other kids think you are a female and that's fine. The boys have started to notice you and that's fine too. But there are things going on in your body that are changing you a great deal. You might feel it; you might even want it, but when you let your emotions rule your life you lose. What you did today has probably been done by most girls, probably even your sisters. You have touched a male and now you want to know why. Right?" She was right and I nodded my head yes. "You did what so many of us have done before Jill, and if that's all it was then don't worry about it. Just don't go any farther. Okay?" I hugged her and held her tight. I was confused by all of my new emotions and now I knew why. "Remember, we have a doctors appointment tomorrow morning, then you have your aerobics class at 11 and ballet at three."

Aerobics fine. Seeing the doctor, fine. But ballet? I could hardly wait! The next morning mom told me to wear just a skirt and blouse, panties and a bra. "He'll be doing a complete physical Jill, and the less you have on the less time it takes." That made sense, so I wore what she told me. She would not let me eat anything, and promptly at 11 I was in the doctors office. By ten after 11 I was naked under a gown and lying on a table. Mom sat watching him as he probed me all over, especially my breasts! I was sure that he would discover that they were fakes, but all he did was harrump a few times. "This is the work of Samuel isn't it?"

"Why, yes, it is. Why?" my mother asked.

"Samuel has developed a process that none of us in the medical field have figured out yet. We know he uses the artificial skin that we use on burn patients, mixed with some form of Ditriochlorobusumin mixed with a gel, but beyond that we have yet to figure out how he does it. "Does what?" I asked. "When he attached the breast forms he told you that you would have feeling in them, and after a week or so they would feel normal to you, right?" "Yes sir." Well my dear, he had found a way to stimulate sensation in your own skin, right through the gel and artificial skin so that these breasts now feel like they are part of your own body." My mouth popped open and he asked me if I felt like I was really a girl now. "How could I say no? "Yes sir, I do, but I don't know why." He checked the device Samuel had put on to hide my maleness and removed it.

Gently, he pulled my penis out and checked it. "This device is very cleverly made!" As the doctor checked it he found the pouch for my member as well as the sheath that would allow me to have sex. He lubricated me and replaced the device, attaching it with the same glue that Samuel used. "Now then young lady, let me clarify your situation. Those breasts, and hips, are so well made that they give you the confidence to dress and act like the girl you say you want to be. I have another patient that went to Samuel and she has now been started on hormone therapy. As she grows older, she will develop her own breasts, hips, and so on. When she has completed the transformation using hormones, she will be able to complete the transformation from male to female, using surgical techniques." Mom and I looked at each other, and we did not know what to say. The doctor took blood and is nurse tested it for my hormone level while he finished the exam. "If your mother agrees, I would like to start you on hormone therapy."
"Using hormones will reduce your body hair, and in a few months you will have the normal placement of hair that any girl your age has. Also in a few months your skin will get softer and smoother, and you will start losing muscle mass. You weight will be redistributed according to the new shape your body is taking, including breast and hip development, and by the time you're 18, you will be as female as possible, except for one thing, and by then it will be redundant." My mother and I talked for a minute when he left the room, but in the end there wasn't much doubt in my mind that I wanted it, and even though she said she was concerned, she also agreed. He gave me a shot in the bottom and wrote a prescription for me. I got dressed and Mom and I left his office.

"Mom, he said I'm going to be a girl!"

“Yes dear I know that! Now all we have to do is tell your father and let him take care of the legal stuff." Mom dropped me off at aerobics class, my first one.

I went into the locker room to change, and saw Kelly there! "Hi!"

"Oh, hi Jill! Are you taking the class too?"

"Mom says I need it, so here I am!"

She smiled and nodded sympathetically. "Me to! I guess mom's are all alike!"

I found a locker and changed into the purple leotard and the pink body stocking, then the green shorts, and laced my feet into the aerobic shoes. I put a pink headband on my forehead and grabbed a towel on my way to the class. For the next two hours I learned that I was a whole lot less limber than I thought. But I had worked up a good sweat, like all of the other women. I was exhausted and fell on the floor to recover. Kelly came over and sat next to me.

"Hard isn't it?" I looked up and she was hardly sweating! "Especially if you're a Sammy special." I did not know what to say, afraid that I might say the wrong thing. "Remember a kid named Charles Watson, from third grade?" I did! "Remember when he disappeared?" "Yes! His parents said that he was killed in another state! Then you showed… up!" Kelly sat back and smiled. "Jill, you I and are the same, only I was eight years old when I started." I fell to the floor on my back, unable to understand it all. "Jill, there is nothing to be ashamed of! Samuel helped me because I had an accident and my privates were torn off. Now I'm as much a female as any other woman, and you will be too." "Kelly, how did you know? About me I mean." She had eyes that always seemed to dance when she was happy, and they were dancing now. "When Kevin disappeared and you appeared I had my doubts that you were a girl, but when I heard you call your mother 'mom', I knew then. No girl would move into a house and start calling the woman of the house mom unless it was automatic, like she was really your mother. That's when I knew."

"You… you won't tell anybody will you?"

She laughed a bit, the soft sounds of her voice so feminine. "Of course not! Besides, how could I prove it?" She was in the same boat as I was and I knew she would be silent about my new status. "Quit worrying about it Jill, and lets change for the ballet class!"

Ballet was harder than I ever imagined, what with all of the bends and arm movements. But Kelly was able to do each one easily, and she looked wonderful in her leotard. I was a wreck by the time mom came to get me. I said good bye to Kelly and I went home. On the way, mom told me she visited dad's office, and told him the news. "He wasn't really surprised Jill. It was almost like he expected it, and he said that by Thursday your name will be legally changed to Jillian Marie Benson, and by Monday next you will have a new birth certificate, and you can finish school." I sank into the seat and wondered why I was so lucky!

I went to ballet and aerobics twice a week for the rest of the summer, and Kelly and I got real close. I saw the doctor once a month, and he confirmed my health, and monitored the changes in my body. Karen, Kathy, mom, and dad all got used to having another girl in the house, and I began to naturally, use feminine gestures more and more. Bill didn't come around as much because, well, there was Heather to keep him busy now. Greg and I became an item and usually went out every Saturday night, but I never touched his member again, and I never let his hand wander to far. By the time I started school, because of the effects of the hormones, my skin was as smooth and soft as any girls, and with aerobics and ballet I had dropped to 114 pounds and become as graceful as possible. I had developed a natural breast of my own, a full 'A' cup, and hips of my own, and now had a 36/23/36 figure. Karen and Kathy teased me a bit until they realized that it hurt me. They saw that the changes in my body were permanent, so they quit bothering me. Bill knew about Greg and I, and one day he came over and asked me about it. "I'm a girl now Bill, in almost every way, and I have you to thank for it!" Before he could say anything I kissed him on the lips gently. He sat back with a strange look on his face and told me he knew that I was a girl, and then he pulled me to him and kissed me, and it was not a brotherly kiss in any way! Greg was a great kisser and I really liked him, but when Bill kissed me all I saw were stars, and the bells in my head started ringing. He must have felt the same way because he pulled away and just stared at me.

I stood up, knowing that our relationship had just changed, from one of brotherly affection to one of mutual attraction. "I want you Jill, I have always wanted you." He came to me, and as I stood there he kissed me again. I felt his hand on my back as he held on to me, pressing me tighter to tighter, pulling me closer to himself. My nipples were so hard that I could feel them, and I was certain he could too. When his hand reached my bottom I had to move away, unsure of myself, or what might happen next. He was my best friend in every way, and he had kept my secret to himself. Now, he had merely kissed me and I felt like I was as limp as a wet rag, but I sensed that if I did not stop him now we would be beyond stopping. I knew that I wanted him to hold me, kiss me, and do it again, but I broke away and sat back down. I could see that he was excited, very excited, and his eyes never strayed from me. My heart was pounding was I told him, "You better go home Bill. Then he kissed me again, and it was magic; I fell under his spell as he pulled me to my feet, and as we walked to the door he told me that he wanted to take me out.

He left me standing there, quivering, unsure of my feelings. He had known me better than anyone, yet he found me attractive even knowing my secret. I was in my room when mom came home, and I had to ask someone about my feelings so I went to the kitchen to see her. When she saw the look on my face she stopped everything and we sat at the table. "You look scared Jill, what's the matter?" I told her about Bill and I, and how he set all of my senses on fire. "That usually means that you are very attracted to the boy! You might be having a reaction to the hormones, but I doubt it. You have become a girl in almost every sense of the word Jill, and now you are experiencing a lot of new emotions, which most men never feel. Bill has the chemistry that mixes with yours and if it's right, it can make a girl limp! I know because your father is that way with me." I was scared of what I felt, afraid that I would do something with my best friend that might be unnatural.

"But why Mom? He knows me better than anyone! He was the one that started all of this!"

"No dear. You started this. You could easily have said no and allowed the island officials to send you home. But you didn't do that. You let Wendy help you become the girl that, inside, you knew you wanted to be, and from what she told me, you never once said no. That says a lot Jill. Bill finds you attractive because he has seen you as a female for quite a while now, and he knows that his friend Kevin will not be back. In his mind you are the girl next door now."

That night I thought about what mom had told me and decided that if my best friend had accepted me as a female, then the very least I could do was be the best girl around! When school started, mom and I went into the office, and after a few quiet minutes with the registry people, I was enrolled in school and given credit for every class I had taken up to then. Kelly, Janet, Michelle, Heather, and I became the so called Gal Pals in school since we always hung around together. I never had anyone question my femininity until the end of the second week. A guy named Jeff, who thought he had it all, but didn't even come close, started to tell people that I wasn't a girl. How he decided that I'll never know, and I ignored him and his ugly rumors; until one day he caught Kelly and I in the hallway and told me I was a guy in a dress, and he was going to prove it. He was quicker than I was, and he grabbed the front of my blouse and gave it a yank. As the buttons popped off and the material shredded, I pulled away, but it was no use. I was left standing there in my bra, my boobs clearly visible to everyone. He sputtered a bit and started to walk away but Dave and a few of the other guys held him so he couldn't leave. Dave, who was dating Michelle, was so angry that I thought he was going to beat him to a pulp right on the spot, and could have, but Mr. Denison ran down the hallway and stopped him. After he had the facts he yanked Jeff by the arm and took him to the office. I borrowed a sweater from Kelly and went back to class. An hour later I was called to the office.

The Principal, Mrs. Whittaker, was behind her desk when I walked in. "Please sit down Jill, and tell me exactly what happened." In great detail I told her, and when I was done she merely smiled. "I think that we need to find a punishment that fits the crime, don't you think so?" I had no idea where she was going with this, and told her so. Then she asked me if I had a few friends that would like to teach Jeff a valuable lesson.

"Sure! Kelly, Janet, Michelle, Heather, and Marcie."

Then she told me what she had in mind. It was so outrageous that I started to laugh! "I'm going to call his parents and make sure they will allow it, but the choice is an assault charge, so I think they'll go along." She sent me back to class with the admonition to stay quiet about what might happen.

The next day she told me to gather my friends in her office, and she told all of us that she had Jeff's parents permission. "They were rather angry that their son would attack a girl, and his father in particular said that Jeff would cooperate in whatever needed to be done to change his frame of mind!" Then she outlined her idea. It was certainly going to change his outlook on life! "We'll need a few days to get ready, can we start on Monday?" "Certainly. I'll inform his parents."

The six of us spent the next few days planning everything, right down to the smallest detail, then we started gathering what we would need. On Sunday night, we all of us went to bed early, since we would be up at 4 the next morning. I picked up Marcie and Janet while Heather picked up Kelly and Michelle. We arrived at Jeff's house to find the lights all on. His mother greeted us at the door, and led us to his bedroom. His father was there to watch, and make sure that Jeff did as he was told. He had no idea of what was coming, just that he would not like it.

"You'll have to strip Jeff." Marcie was smiling as she went over and yanked his pajamas down. "The top too Jeff."

Embarrassed, he took off the top, then Janet and Heather pulled him into the bathroom and covered him with hair remover.

"Wait 30 minutes and shower it off Jeff, and shave as close as you can and wash your hair. Do a good job, we'll check and do it for you if we don't like it!" Janet was really pouring it on, and he hated it, but had no choice. While we waited, he stood in the bath with the door closed. That's when we told his parents what was going to happen. His mother giggled, and his dad, well, he was smiling. "He deserved some kind of punishment, but this will really make him straighten up!"

When Jeff stepped out of the shower he was as hairless as possible, and by the look on his face, he hated it. Marcie checked under his arms, nodded her head, and we descended on him. Kelly handed him a pair of panties and told him to put them on. "You've been wanting to get into my pants for years Jeff, and now is your chance!" That's when he realized what was happening, and tried to run out of the room. His dad caught him by the arm and held him in place."You can do this or go to jail Jeff. I think this is better, don't you? Now stand there and left the girls do what they have to." The look on his face was worth it. He was beaten and he knew it, he just didn't know how bad it was going to be. Trust me, it was going to be bad. He pulled the panties on, but his mother told him that the bulge would have to go, so he had to 'tuck' it. Then, the corset of Janet's was wrapped around him and the laces pulled as tight as possible. He was huffing and puffing, almost out of breath as the laces compressed his chest and waist. Finally, we tied the laces off so he could not undo them. I went over and pulled his now compressed flesh up into the cups of the built in bra, and added small oval foam pads to fill out the cups. He actually had a very nice cleavage when I was done!

Hosiery was rolled on his legs and fastened to the garters and then, the tension was pulled tight by his mother. "Now for the makeup!" We were told to take him in his parents bedroom, and then, sitting at his mother's vanity, we started on his face. Foundation was evenly spread around his face, then a powder to give him that nice, matte look. The excess was brushed off, and Kelly, who was the best at makeup, began. She used a deep green on the edges of his eyelids, with a soft lilac over that and a silver just under his eyebrows, blending it all with her finger. Then the deepest black eyeliner was drawn on his upper lids and a black pencil was used under his eyes in a wide pattern, and then blotted to make it softer looking. On his cheeks she used a bright pink blusher. He was in misery as he saw the changes being made to him, but he had no recourse but to endure it.

Back in his room we held out the dress he was going to wear and he almost ran out of the room again! We had him raise his arms and we slipped it over his head and once it was pulled down, Marcie zipped it up. The material closed around him like the skin on a sausage, accenting all of his brand new curves. "Oh no!" He cried. "Oh yes Jeff. You asked for it and now you are getting it!" His mother sounded pretty firm, and she astounded us by using a needle and thread to secure the zipper tab to the dress! "Now you'll have to come home to get it off Jeff!" He started shaking he was so beaten, but we were not done yet, and had him sit on a chair while Heather and Marcie started on each hand. They added fake nails to his fingers, making them about and inch long, then added a bright red polish, two coats, with a clear hardener on top. I added the wig, using small dabs of glue to hold it in place. The long red hair was piled up on top with the rest touching his shoulders. The shoes were red of course to match the dress. His mother had bought them after we told her the color of the dress. We had him step into them and Janet fastened the strap around his ankle and added a small lock like the kind you see on a child's jewelry box to each ankle, then handed the keys to his mother. "I think she is almost ready! Just some jewelry to complete the look!" Earrings and a necklace were added, and finally, some perfume, the cheapest we could find.

"This is so tight!" The hem of the dress was well above his knees, and as his long nails tweaked at the tight satiny material, he asked us if he had to leave the house. "Of course, you have school today, and for the rest of the week we will be here to help you dress. For the next week you'll be the newest girl in school!"

"It's just... come on Jill, at least let me wear something normal. I look like…"

"A girl on the make? We know that Jeff. This is the new you!"

"I can hardly stand in these heels! Look, they make me wobble, and that makes me feel…, awe please Jill, I'm sorry!"

He brushed back some of his curls to peer into the mirror and shake the long earrings. But from any angle he cared to look, all he saw was the reflection of a very hot chick with sexy red hair, all dressed in red. Red ankle strapped heels, shiny nude stockings, the red satin like dress, red and gold chandelier earrings, bright red lips, and eyelids to complete his 'look.'

"Red makes you so hot!" "And sexy too!" added Marcie. "The way you shine like that, even I think you adorable! "I love it." His mother said it like she meant it and caused him to turn and face her.

"You let them do this to me!" She looked at her son and smiled, then went over to him. She looked at his now swollen breasts that seemed to strain against the low swept neckline, and a hem line that left his legs bare almost 5 inches above his knees.

"This dress might cover you from boobs to hem Jeffrey, but it cannot cover the shame we felt when we heard that you ripped Jill's blouse off." He peered at his reflection, while ten sparkling red nails tried to pull the short dress down. "This is your punishment Jeffrey, and it will last a week, so you might as well get used to it." His fathers voice cut through the fog of his resentment and he hung his head in shame. "This corset's got you down to a twenty four inch waist, your boobs are maybe a 'B' cup." "That sounds right, maybe B+!" I had to add my two cents, just to aggravate him some more. "I just love the way your new boobs move around, and they way they poke your nipples against your dress!" Janet was enjoying this a whole lot!

At 7, his mother handed him a purse and a bag filled with his school books. "Before you go dear, I think that you should have a name that matches how you look. I think we should call you Angel." She looked at us, and asked us we agreed, which of course, we did! "Lets go Angel!" I was on one side of him and Michelle on the other, with Heather and Janet in front and Marcie behind with Kelly as we began to walk to school. He was in agony not because the shoes did not fit, but because he knew that he was going to be teased and ribbed about the way he looked for an entire week. He pouted, begged, and almost cried a few times, but we led him up too, and then into, the school. As soon as he was at his locker, we abandoned him. From a distance we watched as he quickly became the object of a lot of jokes. Some of the boys ran their hands on his bottom, some asked him if those were his own boobs, but mostly, he teetered to each class, embarrassed as he could be.

Of course, Kelly and I understood him better than he thought. We would also be the object of derision if anyone found out about us. I felt bad for Jeff, but only a little. I had managed to face myself and admit that I wanted to become a girl, and had my dream come true. Assault was not on my list of acceptable things a girl had to tolerate, so Jeff was being taught a lesson.

The six of us became the heroes to a lot of the girls that had been mistreated by their boyfriends, or just the boys in general, and a lot of the boys became afraid to tease us girls because they were afraid they might end up like Jeff. Of course we spread the word that his new name was Angel, and by the end of the day, everyone called him that, including the teachers! Janet and I watched as he began his trek home that day after school, and caught up with him. "Your mother has your clothes for tomorrow Angel, be sure that you wear them!" It was a warning, and we saw the fear in his eyes as we left him standing there.

After that first day we let him wear more normal clothes, but nothing that wasn't at least mid thigh at the hem. On the second day he wore my short red pleated skirt with a white top and black heels with thin white socks. After that, it was a green shirtwaist dress of Marcie's, then a short leather mini with a camisole top under a red bolero jacket. On Friday, he showed up in a pink and white dress that made him look like a little girl! He even wore ruffled panties! His lipstick was a soft pink, and his shoes were pink heels with the white socks again. On Saturdays we usually had a dance at the school, and like he had been told, he had to attend. We had selected a dress for him to wear but his mother called and told my mother that she had an outfit for him and she would make sure he was at the dance. Bill called and asked me to go with him, and since Greg had not yet asked me, I said yes.

I wanted to excite Bill, and I used every bit of my acquired skills as I got dressed. I started with a bubble bath, then after I dried off, a complete dusting with powder that smelled like my perfume. Now that my own breasts had grown to an 'A' cup, I no longer had to pad them, but I decided to wear my pink corsolet, and when I laced it up I had a smaller waist and my boobs were now swelling to a full 'B' cup! Smiling, I slipped on the pink panties and after I set the garters under them, I rolled on my sheer, nude hose and fastened them. Sitting at my vanity I very carefully did my makeup. I used the least amount of foundation I could, then the powder. On my eyes I used a soft rose with a pink and silver for contrast, blended it with my finger, and added deep black eyeliner, outlining the eyes with a black pencil. A deep coral blusher, drawn out with a sponge, then a light sprinkle of silver dust on my cheeks.

The dress I had chosen was a black sheath with a square cut neckline and was 3 inches above my knees. The straps were about an inch wide and the back plunged to just above my corsolet. I fastened black and gold earrings to my lobes and they hung down at least two inches. Around my neck I had a choker style necklace with a single black stone wrapped in gold, with some very small rhinestones around it, that sat in the cleft of my throat. My gold watch and my only ring, a gift from dad, I wore on my right hand. I spritzed myself with my perfume, and added red lipstick to complete my look. I stepped into my black heels and grabbed my purse and went down to the family room to wait for Bill.

Dad took one look at me and asked, "hunting?" Before I could answer, mom said, "More likely the hunt is over and its capture time!" I had to smile. She was right of course, mom seem to have a sixth sense about these things! Mom and I had talk many times about my sexuality, and she knew that I could have sex, even if it was with a fake vagina. She surprised me by not telling me to be good. Rather, she told me to have a nice time, and not hurt him! Dad didn't understand what was going on, but I did. Before I could say anything Bill arrived. He took one look at me and I knew he was mine for as long as I wanted him. He stuttered, and mumbled a lot. We left for the dance as mom started to tell dad what was going on. His face was turning red as we walked out of the door.

"You look…fantastic Jill!"

"Why thank you sir!" I snuggled over next to him and let him drive while I rested my hand on his leg. A few times he tried to put his hand on my leg but I told him to just drive.

"You girls really did a job on Jeff! He's the laughing stock of the school now!"

"Yes, but he did look kinda cute don't you think?" Bill just nodded his head yes.

"I hear that his mother has bought him a dress just for tonight, and has coerced Mike to be his date for the night." I was shocked at that news, but we all saw that after two days dressed as a girl, Jeff had begun to relax, and most of the kids left him alone.

"If he shows up with a date, then everyone will think that…" I nodded my head and did not say a word. We walked into the gym and met Janet and Brent. I saw Michelle with Dave, and Kelly with Brian. We sat at a table and Bill and Brent went to get us a drink. "Did you hear about Angel and Mike?" "I wonder how Angel's mother managed that!" Just then we saw Angel and Mike walk in.

I was in so much shock that I could hardly speak. Angel looked stunning! Her hair was well done in a French braid, her makeup was perfect, and her dress! It was a peach cocktail dress that was cut in a deep Vee in the front and held together with a thin peach mesh. The back went almost to her waist while the hem was mid thigh, and she wore peach colored shoes. On her ears were rhinestone earrings to match her choker necklace and bracelet. Angel looked ravishing! Without a pause they waked to a table and sat down.

"Did you see that!?"

"I still don't believe it! She looks absolutely wonderful Jill!" We watched as Mike attended to her, and she was smiling and relaxed. Bill and Brent came back, almost speechless.

"Did you see Angel!"

"Did we! She looks…"

"we get the idea Jill"

As Bill and I danced it was hard not to notice that Angel and Mike were also dancing, and she was following him move for move, perfectly. But my attention was on Bill as he held me close to him. "I want you Jill. I want you to be my girl." It was what I wanted to hear, and as soon as I said yes, he pulled me closer and I felt his hand creep down my back, closer to my butt. I had my head on his shoulder and I held on to him, half afraid that he would say to himself 'Jill is a boy', but he never did, and I spent a lot of the evening in his arms. As the dance drew to a close he asked me if I wanted to stop for a bite and naturally I said yes. We went to Benny's, a small, but very nice restaurant. He and I were just ordering when Mike and Angel walked in, arm in arm, and came to our table.

"I was wrong for what I did Jill and I am sorry. But what you did for me wonderful. I never would have met Mike, and we would never have known about each other. Thanks!"

"Wait a minute!" Bill said, "What do you mean you and Mike?"

"We're both gay, but now we can express it in a more conventional way and fit in! Thanks Jill!" We watched them as they sat at another table, holding hands the whole time!

Later, after we had eaten, we went to Vester Park where he stopped the car near the lake. "Jill, I told you that I wanted you and I meant it, but I want you now!" He kissed me and I let his tongue slide into my mouth, enjoying the taste of him. He was ready, and I was willing, so it did not take him long to touch my breast. I felt his hand as he managed to touch my nipple, and it rose to his touch, hard as a rock. His hand found my thigh and slowly reached up and into my panties until as last, he touched me. He had me panting with desire, just like himself. I climbed in the back seat and he joined me.

I lay back and he pushed me down, then with some help from me, found his target and entered me. Because of the way my device was made, I could feel every movement. Quickly, he released and collapsed on top of me. I moved him off and sat up, wanting more but I was unsure of his ability. He smiled at me, and we hugged, then he kissed me deeply. We each managed to get dressed again and he took me home. He gave me his class ring just before I went in.

I had now completed my mental journey to womanhood. Bill and I had responded to each other as a male and a female, with no thought except each other and the pleasure we gave to the other. My friendship with him had turned to love, and then intimacy. As I undressed that night I wondered what it would be like to have him undressing me. I short giggle rose in my throat and I finished undressing. In the privacy of my bath I cleaned up, using a pad to catch the residue of our sex so I would not stain the bed. I fell asleep, a contented woman. The next morning mom woke me and asked me how the dance went.

"Pretty good mom, but you should have seen Angel! She looked wonderful, and later, at the restaurant, she told Bill and I that she was Gay, and she and Mike were now a couple!" Mom smiled and asked me how it went with Bill.

"Well, he gave me his ring!"

"No Jill, I mean when you two had sex. How was it?" She had caught me off guard and I had smiled.

"I loved it mom! It was like nothing I ever knew before!"

"Yes that much is true dear, but I don't want you just giving yourself to every horny teenage boy you meet."

"Mom! Bill is not just a horny teenage boy…" Then I started to laugh, then, "Well, so what if he is? He's my horny teenage boy!" Mom just shook her head and told me to get dressed.

I finished high school right on schedule the next spring, 12 days after I turned 18. The doctor didn't need any evaluation since he had been seeing me once a month for almost 14 months now, and scheduled my surgery for the next week. Bill was at my side as I was wheeled into the operating room, and his was the first face I saw when I woke up. I had completed my sailing trip just fine, and after I had healed up, Bill and I intended to sail into the future together, as a couple.

Of course, Karen was my Maid of Honor with Kathy, Janet and Kelly as my Bridesmaids; Bill and I were married in a quiet ceremony, and set sail on his Fathers boat for the islands where it all started.

I had the best tenor voice in the school. I sang in all the plays, participated in the choir, and practiced a lot. I knew that my voice could propel me into the big time, but I had to maintain my grades, graduate, and go into a well regarded music school to even have a chance. I worked hard, and even had a few famous people come see me sing when I was a Junior. They all said the same thing. Great voice, good delivery, nice tonal quality, but ...

You see, I am small, both in stature and physical size. 5'5" tall and 123 pounds. Auburn hair and green eyes, and I did not project the image of some of the most famous tenors. They were all tall and handsome. Never the less, I kept my focus and went on as if I had a chance, hopeful that I would experience a growth spurt. At the very end of my Junior year in High school there was an accident. An elderly woman ran her car into our yard and hit the house, which caused the front wall to collapse. Unfortunately I was in the den, adjacent to the living room when a ceiling rafter dislodged, fell, and hit me. At first I thought I had just been knocked down, then I saw the blood spurting out and running down my shirt. Dad wasn't home, mom was at the grocery and I was all alone. Unable to move the beam alone, I lay there hoping mom would get home soon, so I could say goodbye. I knew I was bleeding to death. But our neighbor saw what had happened, grabbed her son, and they found me. Tim is a giant compared to me, and he easily lifted the rubble off of me. All except the rafter that hit me. By the look on his face it was bad.

The paramedics used some tools to get me free, then carted me to the hospital just as mom drove up to our house. I passed out from a shot they gave me and have no idea what happened after that. I awoke in the hospital 12 hours later, my neck wrapped tightly in bandages, a cast over that, and I could not talk. Mom, dad, and the doctor came in a bit later, and told me what had happened.

"To put it bluntly, you were stabbed" The doctor said. "One of the nails in the rafter hit you right in the larynx, straight on. That's the reason you can't talk right now. The nail does not appear to have done a lot of damage except in one place. Your vocal chords were severely bruised when the surrounding tissue contracted under the force. That's all we can say at the moment, but we expect you to regain your voice in a few days, after the swelling goes down."

He left me there with mom and dad, my only thought was that my singing career was over. I wanted to die.

Mom and dad could do nothing but hold me. It was two days later that I found out the truth. During the long hours that I lay there, I had time to reflect on my life. My voice, the instrument I planned on using to become a star was, in all likelihood, damaged, and with it, my dreams. When the doctors unwrapped my neck I was very worried. I had no idea what I would sound like. The very first word I spoke was clear as a bell, which made the doctor happy, but I was shaken right to my core. Those clear fine tenor tones of mine had been taken away! I now had a high tenor voice, almost a soprano with a cloud of smoke mixed in! I was desolate, convinced that my singing days were over.

At home life did not change much, and I spoke as little as possible. After a week or so of that my sister Lisa grabbed me by the arm and yanked me around, pulling me into her room. Surprised by her actions I stood there as she glared at me. Then, all at once, she handed me a microphone!

"Sing that song you like so much. The one from Phantom of the Opera."

"Sing? I can't sing!"

"Just do it!" she said, and put on the CD. As the opening strains filled the room, she sat on the bed and sat staring at me. "Sing!" she said, and handed me the music.

She had to start the music over again, and while shaky and nervous, I began to sing. The male part, just like always. My voice sounded a little husky, but the words came out clear, and I was able to hit all the notes, including the high ones were in the soprano range. When I was done, Lisa told me to sing the girls part. I had done the girls parts before, just for the timing, and thought nothing of it. The music started again, and I sang the female part. Lisa was grinning as the softer sounds, with that husky edge to them became more and more feminine. When I was done I tossed the microphone on the bed and started to walk out of the room. Lisa did not stop me, and I went to my room to check my e-mail. When everyone was at the dinner table, about halfway done, we all heard the music come on. We all stopped to hear it, then I heard myself singing. It was the female part I had sung earlier. Played through the surround sound, I had to admit it sounded better than up in Lisa's bedroom. When the music stopped, mom asked Lisa who that singer was.

"Whoever that girl is, she had a wonderful voice! Just the right amount of huskiness in her voice to add character to the music! Who was that Lisa?"

Well, Lisa looked, and slowly pointed at me! Both mom and dad were shocked at first, then dad began to laugh! He only quit when mom made him be quiet. Then it settled over all of us, including me. I could still sing! The fact that I sounded like some sexy girl aside, I could still sing! Then Lisa made a suggestion.

"You know, I'll bet that he would look real cute all dolled up! As girl, you would sound just right, and maybe be able to continue your studies in music!"

Well you can guess my reaction to that! I said no way, and made it as firm as I could. Everyone seemed to take my saying no with grace, and I forgot about it. Until I went back to school that is. More than one person commented on my voice, how high it was, and some of the guys began to kid me about it. They all knew what had happened, so the kidding wasn't vicious, just ... accurate. My singing coach wanted to hear me sing, but I put her off, saying it was to early. But she told me to wait, and put on the recording that Lisa had made. As my voice filled the hall, I simply stood there, shocked that Lisa would do this to me, but the coach stood and listened, then began to smile. When the song was over ...

"You won't like this, but it's true I'm afraid. As good as you were before the accident, you now have the perfect voice! As a woman of course, but, and I do not say this lightly, if anything, your voice is better! Soft and smooth, clear yet sexy."

Mrs. Pomer would not have said that to me if it was not true, and that sent shivers down my back. Me? Sing as a girl? The very idea was just as ludicrous as it sounded. With nothing to say, I went home. About the only thing that was the least bit good lately was that school would be out for the summer in just ten days. Then I would not have to put up with the kidding any more. Between Lisa, my parents, and Mrs. Pomer, I knew that what they had told me was true. I had heard it myself. If I wanted to sing, then I would have to do it as a girl, and if I was just as good, if not better than before, then I could still chase my dream. Only the thought of me in a dress almost made me laugh out loud. There was no way I could ever look anything like a girl!

Before school let out Lisa left to visit a friend. She would be gone for a month, and I looked forward to having some piece and quiet so I could practice. As school let out that day and I went home, my heart was heavy with what everyone had told me. I was caught between competing scenarios. I could sing and maybe make it big, but I would have to do it as a girl, or not sing at all, yet have to go through life sounding like a woman. Some choice. Deep in thought I did not see mom when I walked in the house.

"Honey? Can we talk a minute?"

I sat across from mom, watching as she struggled with whatever she wanted to say. Finally ...

"Lisa is gone, and we thought that this would be the perfect time for you to see just how you would look as a girl. NO! Don't interrupt me. Your father and I have talked this over, and we are in agreement. You have the voice, only you don't look like you belong to it. What we want to do is get you dressed up, just once, so we can all see how you look. If it doesn't turn out well, that will be the end of it. Lisa won't be here to nag you, and your dad has agreed to stay away until I call him. It would be just you and I."

Mom was serious! I knew that tone in her voice. It was her "I'm just stating the facts" voice. With Lisa gone it would be just mom and I, and that was something, but mom did not say what would happen if I turned out looking nice! She didn't have to. I already knew. I wanted to cry, yell, something, but there was no other way, and as much as I expected to turn out like a freak, mom did not, plus, and even though I hated it, I nodded my head yes. That drew an immediate smile from mom, which told me that she had anticipated my answer. Without a word she crooked her finger at me, and I followed her to my room. The first thing I saw was what looked like a complete outfit on my bed! Turning to look at mom, all she did was tell me to undress.

Standing there in my briefs was bad enough, then mom began to cover me with a hair removal cream, smearing it all over until she reached the forbidden zone. Even that was not safe as she yanked my briefs down in the back, smeared on some more cream, then handed me the jar and told me to do the rest, wait 30 minutes, then take a shower and wash it all off. She did not tell me to shave, since I hadn't started to shave every day yet. Like most guys my age, I wasn't that hairy, but as I watched what I did have wash down the drain, it signaled a dramatic change. My skin felt smoother, and as I washed my hair, it came to me that maybe, possibly, mom just might be able to turn me into a girl. Not pretty of course, but at least passable. Wrapped in a towel, I walked back into my bedroom to see mom sitting there waiting for me.

"In order to make you feel as comfortable as possible, and feel as much like a girl as possible, I want you to dress from the skin out as a girl, starting with these panties."

I took them, slipped them up my legs, in the interest of modesty you understand, but it turned out that the thin material only made things stand out more! I had no choice but to turn and fold myself out of the way, and in doing that, I took my second step in looking like a girl. After that came a trip to Lisa's vanity. Foundation and powder, then pale eye shadow and darker eyeliner, blusher, then, a spritz of perfume. With my hair still damp, mom set my hair in a rollers, pulled a plastic cap over them, and took me back to my room. The moment mom said she was done with the makeup I knew. Not only was it possible for me to look like a girl, I just might turn out to be what the guys call cute. The bra was wrapped around me and stuffed with a pair of what mom called "helpers" that Lisa had used when she was younger. On me, they filled out the bra just right. Standing there in a bra and panties, my face all made up and smelling like my sister sent shivers down my back. I couldn't control it, it just happened.

Then came pantyhose; they made my legs look pretty good by the way, then a short slip, and finally, the dress. As I stood there and mom zipped it up, I had the strangest feeling, yet kept my mouth shut, waiting until mom said she was done. The shoes were new. They had low heels and were black and shiny. Mom had me sit on my chair, then she took off the plastic cap, took out the rollers, and began to brush out my hair. I couldn't see anything from that angle, and had no idea how I looked. Clip on earrings, a gold necklace, then mom handed me a tube of red lipstick. As soon as I had some on my mouth, mom took it, then led me to her bedroom and walked me to her mirror. Standing there was a girl! As my eyes scanned from head to toe and back, I saw the twin mounds gently pushing against the dress, the material tapering to fit my waist tightly, then the skirt flaring out to end just above my knees. I was in shock! Auburn hair that fell in waves around my face, smooth flawless skin set with green eyes and a red smile, legs that looked longer and just as good as any I had seen before.

I was unable to speak as I grappled with the plaintive cry of my masculinity yelling "no not me!". My eyes took in a girl that was better than average looking, maybe even cute, yet I knew it was myself I was looking at. I wanted to deny the truth of what I saw, deny that it would be possible for me to become a girl. To deny that my voice no longer fit the boy inside. I looked at my mother, hoping she would laugh it off and let me change clothes, yet I knew better. We both knew that if I had to, I could become this girl, sing, and maybe make it into the big time. That realization hit me like a sledgehammer. I stared at my reflection looking for some flaw, some way to say that it wouldn't work, yet I could see with my own two eyes that there was no flaw.

"You're very pretty, but we might want to find a name for this girl. I don't think Jason will work when you look like this. Why don't we go down to the kitchen, get a soft drink, and we can talk about it."

Then, without a word, mom took my arm in her hand and pulled me gently out of the room, down the stairs, and into the kitchen. Just walking in a skirt felt eerie, yet not so bad. The flicking of the skirt against my legs, the scent of the perfume and makeup, the taste of the lipstick, the clicking of my heels against the hardwood floor, all combined to signal the very dramatic change that had taken such a short time to happen. I felt awkward, yet not quite ashamed. Mom handed me the soda and motioned to the patio as she opened the door. If I went outside and someone saw me, well, that would be the end of it, but mom merely smiled and wagged her finger again. Like a good son, I did as she wanted, and stepped outside the house dressed as a girl for the very first time. I sat at the table farthest from the yard, hoping I would be unseen. Mom and I sat there sipping on our drinks, my mind was reeling as I tried to cope with what had happened to me, but I tried to think of a name, a girls name, for the new me. I was lost in a sea of emotions as I both wanted to just go change clothes, and the knowledge that I might be able to get away with this charade, if I was lucky that is.

"Think of a name yet?" Mom asked. When I shook my head no, "Well, before you were born we had a name picked out for you. I know it's probably not a sexy sounding name, but we liked it. Linda. Linda Ann was going to be your name if you were born a girl. Do you like it?"

"It's okay I guess."

"Okay then, if you do not have a different choice, then we will begin to call you Linda. I bought those clothes just guessing at your sizes, but after we find a few things Lisa can't wear and add a few more, you'll have a modest wardrobe of your own. We'll do that tomorrow. I'll need you to try on almost everything by the way, just to make sure the clothes fit."

"Mom! You act as if you expect me to dress this way every day now!"

“Well, it seems that I was right honey. You look just wonderful!”

Mom and dad did expect me to dress as a girl every day so that, according to them, "I would get accustomed to the clothing, and be able to present myself as a girl at all times"! Every argument that I presented was shot down with logic, parent logic that is. Mom said that if I wanted to sing as a professional, then I would have to learn how to become a woman, and that starts with learning how to be a girl. Then she told me that I would not be allowed to wear any slacks, not even jeans for a while since they wanted me to get used to wearing a skirt or dress!

"Honey, we all understand your reluctance, but you saw yourself in the mirror, and you know perfectly well that nobody would ever guess that you are a boy under those clothes. We just feel that three months of dressing as a girl every day will make it easier for you to do this. By that time you'll be able to do your own hair and makeup, maybe even your nails, and you'll be just as comfortable in a skirt as I am."

"But you're a girl!"

"That's true, but does it matter? I mean, what is more important to you? Your singing, or the fact that you are a boy? Think about it for a minute. Have we ever been anywhere that someone wanted to check inside our panties to see if we are girls or not?"

"That's plain stupid mom!"

"No, it's not. If you look like a girl, and act like a girl, who is going to know that your not a girl? Us? We aren't going to tell anyone, and you aren't going to tell anyone, so who would know?" Mom sat back and looked at me. "This is entirely up to you dear, but you should think about it for a while before you say anything. Whatever you say, that will be the end of it. All I did today was to show you that it could be done. The rest is up to you."

I watched as mom got up, walked back in the house, and left me there! I sat there, still afraid to move too much just in case someone saw me. Then I thought about what she had said, and realized that she had left it up to me! Neither her, dad, or Lisa would say a thing to try and make me do anything. They had left it all up to me! That was freaking great! Now, if I quit, I would be the one that trashed my possible future in music, but if I agreed, what would happen after that? What would happen if my friends see me this way? And what about the family? Nana is old school and might not understand. And just how could I agree to this? I mean, what do I do? Just walk in the house and tell everyone to call me Linda from then on? No matter how I cut it, this dressing as a girl is a mess. I sat there for almost an hour before I went in and stood in front of the hall mirror. There she was, the girl I would become if I said okay, and as much as I wanted to deny it, I looked just fine as a girl.

I found mom in her sewing room. I stood in the doorway, waiting until she could look up. When she did, I said "Yes", but I wasn't as positive about this as mom seemed to be. Mom merely said "okay, but stay dressed" and went back to her sewing. That left me with almost four hours to kill before dad got home that night. I made the most of it by going on line to check out boys that dress as girls, and found thousands of places. I weeded them out, and found a few that gave me a lot of information, which I printed out. By the time I heard dad's car drive up, I had resigned myself to my fate, fate that I alone had decided on. That's when I decided to try and do my best, at least for that night. I found the same lipstick, ran it over my lips again, then walked out of my room and down the stairs. I could hear my parents in the kitchen.

"I'm telling you he turned out simply gorgeous! He and I decided on the name Linda by the way. Let me get her."

Mom walked around the corner, saw me, smiled, and called out for dad to join us. Dad's very first reaction when he saw me was obvious. Stunned disbelief. His eyes went wide, his mouth opened, and no sound came out. I stood there as demurely as I knew how, my feet together, my hands folded in front of me, but I wasn't smiling. I was scared of what he might say. Dad and I traded stares for a moment, then he handed me a packet.

"This is sheet music that I picked up today. I know it's not what you usually sing, but I want you to try it for me."

Dad handed me the packet, then really surprised me when he said that I looked "very nice". At dinner, nobody said a word about how I was dressed, but both mom and dad referred to me using the feminine. Her, she, Linda, and so on. Mom said that in the morning we would be raiding Lisa's closet, then maybe the next day going out to get me things that girls don't share, like panties and bras. That alone almost made me want to quit this nonsense, but I didn't, and I didn't say anything either. Then, after dinner, while I was helping mom with the dishes, she told me that she also wanted to take me to her salon and have my hair "shaped", whatever that meant, and my nails done before we went shopping. That would mean that I would be going outside, dressed as a girl, in front of God and everyone! Mom patted me on the shoulder, and told me not to worry, everything would be fine. I hoped so.

The next morning mom told me to shower, and she would set out my clothes for me. When I stepped back into my room the clothes were on the bed, mom was nowhere in sight. But, underwear was a must, so I slipped on the panties, then the pantyhose. The bra was a bit tricky but I managed, slipped in the "helpers", and once again had a modest bustline. Just then mom came in and we went to Lisa's room where she had me sit at the vanity. Her total instruction was for me to do my makeup! She told me she would tell me what to do, but it would be up to me to do the actual application. It took almost twice as long for me to do my own makeup, but mom said it was just as good as when she did it, and I have to admit, I looked almost the same as the day before. Back in my room I found a skirt that looked like one of those uniform skirts. It was a green and white plaid skirt that was about mid thigh on me. The blouse was plain white with a round collar. Mom told me to button it up all the way. I wore the same pair of shoes, the low heels. After the addition of some earrings, a dash of perfume, and some lipstick, mom gave me a purse to carry. It had my wallet, the lipstick and some tissue in it when I did the hardest thing I ever did before. I actually walked out of the house, and to the car, which was in the driveway. Since I was 16 and had a driver license, mom told me to drive. It wasn't as hard driving in heels as I expected.

As I expected, the first place we went to was the salon. Under mom's direction, my hair was trimmed and styled, set with what I was told was a very soft perm, just to hold the curls, and while all that was going on, my nails were trimmed, filed, and made a bit longer, then painted a soft plum red color. By the time we left the salon, I had been there almost two hours! When I looked in the mirror the first time I almost went into shock. My hair, once so straight, now lay in waves and curls all over my head, fluffy and higher on top, I had bangs that caressed my forehead, and curls that framed my ears! My nails flashed in the light, and I became very aware of them each time I moved my hands. It felt ... good? Not bad anyway, and I looked even more like a girl than before! I felt so different as mom and I walked out of the salon, and I felt a grin wanting to burst out. But why?

The next place we stopped at was a shop that sold prosthetics. In a very matter of fact manner, mom explained that I needed some "help", and I soon found myself being fitted with fake boobs! The ones I was shown looked so real it was scary, but the woman simply measured me, then selected a pair and attached them to my chest! Yes, I said attached, as in glued on, semi permanent according to the woman. She said I could wear them for up to three months without removing them! As I looked in the mirror and saw them, I could have sworn that I grew them myself! Putting the bra on was a lot harder once I had those boobs on my chest, but mom showed me the easy way, and once I had my blouse on, we left the shop. With every step I took I could feel the slight bounce of the breasts and the tug against my skin, constantly reminding me that I was rapidly becoming a girl.

In a department store we went into the lingerie section, selected three bras, picked up several packages of panties, added both short and long slips, a camisole, and two nightgowns. In dresses mom helped me pick out two new dresses plus two skirts and some blouses. With every selection I made I came to feel as if I actually were a girl. The soft fabrics, the sensation of nylon on my legs rubbing together, the new nails and the scent of my perfume had combined to reinforce what I was feeling, and whenever I looked at myself in a mirror, I began to like what I saw. I knew that becoming a girl for three months would change everything, maybe even how I thought of myself. So, with all that in mind, I began to try and act like a girl my age. I watched how mom used her hands and arms, walked and talked, plus, how she reacted around other women. It felt awkward of course, but I managed, and must have made an impression on mom since she even commented on it.

After we had put our stuff in the trunk of the car, mom and I stopped at a fast food joint, had some lunch, and I expected to go home. But she drove across town, stopping at a recording studio. Not well known, it was a place for people to record songs, but they had to pay for it and you only got two copies.

"I brought that sheet music Linda. I thought you would like to try it here. They have the background music, and all you have to provide are the words."

I had been there before, but never cut a record before. Mom must have set this up previously because the woman said that we were right on time! I took the music and followed a guy into the recording studio itself. I told him what music to play and the key, he left, and I waited. As the first strains of the music started I waited until I found the beat, and began to sing. It was a ballad, a song from the fifties. As I sang, I paid no attention to anything beyond the tempo and words, and let my emotion sink into the song. I did it twice more, then the producer asked me to sing another one. For him he said. He gave me the music and started. Another ballad, this one was slower, more like jazz, yet it felt as if it were very old, and new at the same time. I sang that one twice, the second time I had it, and I knew it. The words spoke of love lost, desperation and poverty, none of which I had ever experienced, yet I felt it, and it came out that way. When I was done the producer called mom and the woman into the studio, then replayed the songs so they could hear them. As my voice filled the air, even I was surprised at just how much like a woman I sounded. Sultry the producer said, hot and sultry, yet so pure and virginal. At least he had that virginal part right.

"You have", the producer said, "the finest voice I've ever heard! I have made copies of the two songs. I want to send them to a friend of mine. Do you mind?"

Before I could say a word mom spoke up. "As long as you send them to this one guy, and you let Linda come in here and record three more times for free."

"Sure! I can do that. With her voice, I have some stuff I would like her to try."

He handed me the CD with both songs on it, and we left for home.

The minute we got home and had all of the new clothes in my room, I put the CD into the player and turned it on. Once again we heard it. The sound in my voice defied definition, but I knew that I had found "it", whatever that was, and "it" would carry me into the big time. A bit later the second song began, and we heard it again, the plaintiff cry of agony, written by someone else, but brought to life by me, and every word, each syllable, clearly defined the ache the writer felt. It made me feel very good to hear that song and know that I was the singer. My shame at wearing a skirt disappeared as I absorbed the tonal quality, the smoke filled words brought forth by the emotion of the voice. I looked at mom who was simply standing there.

"Is there any doubt about your voice now Linda? And, is there any doubt that you will continue to be a girl?"

It wasn't as if I wanted to become a girl, but there was no way I could deny how I looked, how that made me feel, and more, that I was beginning to like it. It was as if I had been liberated, and mom must have noticed it. In the way I acted, walked or something, but it was true. I was about to say something I never thought I would say.

"Mom, there isn't any doubt at all. I kind of like being a girl." There! I had said it!

Mom didn't say anything except to tell me that I might want to clear out some space in my dresser, as my wardrobe was changing, and I would need the room. I went and did what she told me, and with every pair of briefs, socks, jeans, old shirts and so on that I added to the pile, I began to feel very good about my decision. When Lisa sees me she is going to have a cow! By then I will have been a girl for almost a month, and hopefully I would be able to do my own hair and makeup, get dressed and so on all alone. If I was going to do this, I would need her support, and the best way to get that was to be a feminine as possible, and that is exactly what I decided to do. I just hoped dad wouldn't think less of me.

Dad saw me when he walked in the kitchen. I was helping mom make dinner. When he saw me, he acted as if it was the most normal thing in the world to see his son in a skirt, a perm, nails painted red, and wearing makeup. But, he didn't say a thing about how I was dressed, or looked, except to say that he liked the hair cut I got! Mom went in and started the CD player while dad and I sat at the table. As the music started I saw him listen, then look at me. As the music finally stopped, dad sat back, then began to applaud!

"That was simply the best I have ever heard you sing! That was outstanding! Well done!"

"Linda's producer made and extra copy. He said he was going to send it to a friend of his. Maybe this will be her big break."

"But ... what if it is a big break mom? How will I attend school?"

"Linda" mom said, "you did say that you were going to remain as a girl didn't you? Did you plan on returning to school as a girl? We could change your name and all that, but there are other complications to consider. Lets just wait and see what happens before we jump to conclusions. Okay?"

"Okay mom."

Each day after that I became better at getting dressed, doing my hair and makeup, which mom said was mandatory, then mom would work with me to help me with my mannerisms. Simple things, like sitting down, became very complicated if I wore a full skirt or dress, then of course I had to keep my ankles and knees together, my hands folded in my lap. I was very uncomfortable at first, then, one day while I was getting dressed, I tried something new. I had read about it on the Internet. Once I was finished with manipulating myself, and I was dressed, all of the transient pains went away, my knees fell together easily, and it was no longer a task just to walk without possibly damaging myself. On a lark, I tried on a pair of Lisa's jeans. Like her, I had the perfect shape, including in front. Standing there, looking in the mirror, the strangest feeling swept over me. All at once I knew who and what I was. My name was Linda, I'm a girl, I'm 17, and I'm cute. That revelation made me feel very calm, and just like a light coming on, I lost the dread that had stalked me from the first moment I wore that dress. With that newborn confidence, I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, grabbed a soda, and went out to sit on the patio. I wanted to enjoy the sunlight, the air that felt so refreshing, and simply enjoy myself.

I still had the jeans on when mom asked me to help her make dinner. She did not comment on my wearing jeans, even though she had told me not to. Dad once again simply accepted how I looked, but I sensed some tension in the air, unspoken yet palpable, signaled by the way my parents were speaking. Polite to the point of being stilted, calm, like the weather before a great storm. I at there, waiting for something to happen, and when it did not, I guess I exploded.

"What's going on? Is it me? What did I do?"

"No honey, it's not anything you did, but it is about you."

"What!? Tell me mom!"

Dad spoke up. "Linda, I lost that account at Smith's. We cannot afford to send you to a private school now, and since you have to graduate, and you have become ... so feminine, we ... "

"What your father is trying to say" mom interjected, "is that we, you, have to decide what to do now. You have become Linda in almost every way, and have almost mastered being a girl! Since you will have to attend the same school as last year, what do we do? Can you simply quit being Linda, for an entire year and start again later? Or, can you attend, as Linda, and be secure enough to see it through? Are you willing to even try attending school as Linda? That's what's bothering us, not how you dress, and certainly not how you look or act." Mom sat back, then, "If you were to ask me, I think that you should attend school as Linda. You now look, act, and sound like a girl so much that I doubt that you would have any trouble at all."

We all traded stares for a moment as the news sank in. Me? As a girl? In school? The very thought of it made me queasy inside, yet I had felt a strong feeling that one, I could do it, and two, I didn't want to give up being Linda if I didn't have to. As much as I had come to accept dressing as a girl, and with that nagging guy in my brain telling me it was stupid, I had come to like the way I looked, and was no longer afraid to go outside. The clothes, the makeup, and the perfume all drew me into the web of feminine behavior, but it was the breasts attached to my chest that made me feel so complete. All combined, and even though I never expected it, dressing as a girl was exhilarating, and I liked it. All those thoughts ran through my mind in an instant that seemed to last for hours, then, when my mouth opened ...

"You have both been telling me just how much I look like a girl, how I act and react like a girl, and with my voice the way it is, you question why can't I attend the same school? Do I look that much like my old self that I can't do it? If I don't, then why not? Just change my name and call the school! I am not going to quit now, and we all know that, don't we?"

With that, I had not just stepped into my fate, I had taken a running jump and leaped in, head first! My parents took my decision with grace, especially dad. Mom told me that if I planned on remaining as Linda, then she and I had some more shopping to do, then she said that from that moment on, I would be doing all of her errands for her, including grocery shopping, and so on. According to her, I might as well do it all or none at all. With a renewed sense of my destiny, I became very assured of myself, and looked forward to the coming weekend. Lisa would be home, and she would meet Linda for the first time.

The next morning I went grocery shopping with mom, then we stopped at the salon where I had my nails touched up and my hair styled again. Jeri also thinned out my eyebrows, giving them a higher arch. On the way home we stopped at the recording studio to use up one of my free sessions. When the producer saw me, he asked if I would do some Ella Fitzgerald stuff. Of course I said yes. Her songs were very popular and almost every one well known. I considered it an honor. I did two of Ella's songs, then he gave me two more, but they were by a popular singer from the fifties named Diana Krall. One of them was her hit "They can't take that away from me". After I sang all four songs, he gave me a copy of the CD, and told me I sounded like a cross between Diana Krall, Ella Fitzgerald and Pearl Bailey! He also said that his friend from L.A. would be in town in a few weeks, and wanted to meet with me! I was on cloud nine so to speak. On the day that Lisa was coming home, I spent extra time getting ready for my debut. A long hot bubble bath, shaving what little hair I did have away, then I rubbed in a sweet smelling lotion.

I wore the short white shirtwaist dress. Leaving the two top buttons undone, and wearing my new uplift bra, I made sure that I exposed some of my new charms. The fitted bodice was accented with the waist nipper I had on, and the four foam pads I was now using gave me a well rounded figure. White heels with gold and white earrings, a wide gold necklace, perfume, and bright red lipstick to match my nails. My makeup was perfect, and my hair looked great. I waited with mom in the family room for Lisa to arrive, which she did, just after two. Lisa did not see me at first, then, when she did, she had that questioning look on her face as if to say "who is this?", then it hit her. Her eyes went wide, a grin grew on her face, and she ran over and hugged me.

"Damn! When I suggested that you dress like a girl, I expected you to leave me something! I mean, just look at you! Hell, you have more boobs than I do! And a better figure!"

I hugged her back, and just smiled. I wasn't about to tell her how I managed to have what seemed like a swell shape, at least not right then. I helped her carry her stuff to the bedroom, then we sat and talked. I put on all of the CD's I had cut, and asked her to just listen, then I played them. As she sat there and listened I watched her face. Lisa liked music, and I could always tell by the look on her face whether she liked something or not. At first nothing, then a smile, then her foot started to move. Those were all good signs, and I knew it. When all the songs were done Lisa looked over at me, her eyes wide.

"I knew you were good before, but this is fantastic! You have just the right amount of huskiness in your voice to make you sound hotter than hot, which goes well with the way you look now! You're going to be a hit Linda, a big hit!"

After that, Lisa and I spent hours in her room just talking, and I eventually told her how I managed to have boobs and hips. Then I told her I was going back to school as a girl. Since Lisa had just graduated, all she could do was suggest a few things. Then she asked me if I had been on a date yet. I said no, and told her that I wasn't that way, which brought a laugh. According to Lisa, given the way I look, I would have guys asking me out all the time, and somehow, she didn't think that I was going to stay at home every weekend. Regardless of what I had in my panties, sooner or later I would accept a date. That was her conclusion. I denied it of course, but all she did was laugh at me! Then, to my surprise she asked me to join her the next night. She said she wanted to hit the new teen club downtown. I said no, she said yes, then mom said yes. Having walked in without my hearing her, she had listened in on what Lisa had said.

"I think it's time you began to go out Linda, and I don't mean just shopping. I mean to the teen clubs and so on. Sooner or later someone is going to ask you out, and you might as well get used to the idea. Besides, what is going to happen if this fellow from L.A. likes your stuff and wants you to record for him? That means pictures and so on doesn't it? Boys will see those pictures won't they? Then what? If you already have a boyfriend, then you can be a little more open without risking anyone bothering you. Now, I want you to go with Lisa tomorrow night, and I want you to have a good time!"

Well, I went to the club, but before we even left the house, Lisa gave me one of her stretchy dresses to wear. All it turned out to be was paint I think. A tight sheath dress, it was at mid thigh on me, red with a scoop neckline and sleeveless. I felt naked in it. Lisa said I looked hot. In her defense, she also wore a dress almost identical to mine except hers was bright blue and had two straps to hold it up. When we walked down to the family room I thought dad was going to choke, but he managed to hold it in and told us to have a good time. Higher heels than I had ever worn, perfume that seemed to coat my body, and my sister grinning like a bear with a hunk of raw meat. Lisa drove, then led me inside.

We found some seats, then, as the music started, the emcee walked out and announced that for the first time they were hosting anyone that wanted to sing. All we had to do was sign a slip of paper with the song on it. It was karaoke with a twist. I saw some kids filling out the form, but declined when Lisa offered one to me. But she filled one out and put my name on it anyway. Two kids got up and sang, one a girl that I knew from school. Then my name was called!

"Go on Linda! Knock them on their collective asses! You can do it!"

Lisa gave me a shove, and up I went. With every eye in the house watching me, I climbed the stairs to the elevated platform, looked over at the D.J. who gave me a thumbs up. Then the emcee mentioned the song. It was one I had recorded earlier. As the music started I waited until I had the tempo, then began to sing, and I gave it everything I had. Soulful yet sweet, I lost myself in the song and simply closed my eyes and sang. When the music stopped and I opened my eyes, there wasn't one sound anywhere in the club, and I thought I had screwed up royally. Then the applause began. I tried to get off the stage, but the emcee held me back and asked me to sing another. The second song was right out of the fifties. Once again the applause rang loudly, and I climbed down the stairway and went back to my seat. Lisa was smiling, laughing and hugged me tightly.

"You just have no idea how good you are Linda! Most of these kids have never heard any songs done that way, yet they reacted to you as if you were the first one to sing them, and they like it! Look around. Listen to the other singers, then tell me you don't know it already."

Lisa was right and I knew it, but how could I say that without sounding smug? In a few minutes our table was surrounded by kids, most of them boys, but the girl I knew also stopped by. She sat next to me grinning.

"What?" I asked, not understanding her grin.

"I've heard some really good singers before honey, but you are simply fabulous!" She took my hand in hers. "My name is Cathy Pomerantz. Will you be going to Central High in the fall?"

"Um, yes" I said, hoping she had no idea who I really was. "This is my sister Lisa."

Just then a hand reached in between us and took my hand. It was a male hand over mine.

"Care to dance?"

"I'm ... with friends right ... "

"Oh go ahead Linda, we'll be right here when you get back."

Lisa was grinning at me as the guy waited, then walked me to the dance floor. He took me into his arms, then, as we moved around the dance floor he told me his name.

"I'm Mark Gerard. That's my cousin you were sitting with. You're a very good singer Linda."

"Thanks. It just comes out that way, but I like to sing, and I practice some."

Mark was polite, not the least bit pushy, and when the song was over, walked me back to the table. Cathy and Lisa were gone. Looking around I saw them out on the dance floor with a couple of guys. Mark sat with me until they returned, then left.

On the way home Lisa was just about jumping for joy. She said that not one person at the club had even the faintest clue that I was a boy, and told me that Cathy told her that Mark wanted my phone number! When I asked her if she gave it to him, she looked stunned.

"Of course I gave it to him! Are you nuts? Mark is your basic hunk Linda, and he wants to call you!"

"But I'm a boy Lisa!"

"Who says? Just look at you! Most of the girls at the club would just die to have a guy like Mark calling them, you sing like an angel that smokes, and you have a shape that's just terrific! Didn't you tell me that you were going back to school as Linda?" That drew a quick nod of my head. "Well you might as well get used to the attention Linda, because you're going to have lots of guys asking you out!"

Unable to respond with any kind of retort that sounded the least bit sane, all I could do was sit back and wonder about what Lisa had said. The bad thing was that I felt she was right. I had been a girl for a little over a month, and I had already found out that I liked it. Now, with the specter of boys calling me looming large, I had to either accept it, or quit, and once again I found myself unwilling to do that. The fact that I liked being a girl aside, having boys calling me was something I had not planned on. When I got to my room I stood in front of the mirror. Boobs that were just the right size, hiked up by the bra so they swelled up. Long legs wrapped in nylon shown off by the short dress, and a waist that accented my wider hips. It was all there. The shape of my face, my hair style, the shape of my body, the voice, I had it all. Well, almost all. That is exactly the point that I decided to no longer fight the girl I had become. I was about to step into unknown territory. I decided to become a girl in every aspect of my life.

Mark called me the next day, which threw dad a little when he answered the phone and found a boy calling for me. I took it, and agreed to let Mark take me out for some ice cream later that afternoon. The minute I put the phone down I turned into an anxious, giddy teenage girl. What to wear? What do I do when he tries to kiss me? Will he like me? I was almost frantic when I got to my bedroom, ready to try on everything I owned. Lisa stopped me. In the end I wore a short pleated skirt with a nice top and my gym shoes.

"Just be yourself Linda! Relax and let him lead you and you'll be fine."

Dad met Mark at the door, and he immediately went into his protective dad mode. He told Mark what time I was to be home, wanted to know where we were going, and all that. I was a bit embarrassed by it since dad had never acted like that with me before. Mark took my hand, and with a wave of my hand, we left the house. Mark and I had ice cream, then he drove over to the local park where we walked around, rode the swings, walked along the waters edge, and sat on the grass talking. I found him easy to talk to, and more, I began to see just how handsome he was. We were watching the water when he touched my arm. I turned and felt his arm pulling me closer, then his lips touched mine. A jolt went through me when he did that, and I instantly had duck bumps all over. Then he kissed me again, harder and longer, his tongue flicking against my lips. I didn't mean to, but I let his tongue slip into my mouth as he pushed me backwards until I lay on my back. It was time to break it off.

Panting, I pushed him away. He smiled at me as I lay there, and I understood why so many girls wanted Mark. He was sexy. He lay back and we talked some more, then, he pulled me to my feet, kissed me again, then took me home. Both Lisa and mom must have that sixth sense that tells them when something has happened. They both smiled while all dad did was ask me how the day was. Lisa followed me to my room, unwilling to take no when I told her to go away.

"Tell me little sister, just how good a kisser is he? Did you like it?"

When I could no longer hold it back, I began to giggle, the said "great, and yes" to answer her questions.

My parents simply asked me if I had a nice time to which I said yes, and they dropped it. Mark called the next day, but mom and I were going shopping again, this time with Lisa along, for new drapes, bed covers, and paint for my room. That afternoon mom took a call from the man that had made the CD's for me, and asked us to be at his studio in the morning at ten.

The next morning we all went. Dad, mom, Lisa and I all walked into the studio together. Then I met the man from L.A. His name was Ken Right. He was very excited about hearing me sing, so I went into the vaults with the producer and selected five that I liked and three that he liked. I sang all eight songs, some twice, one three times, then we met in a conference room.

"You have a true gift Linda. The music that seems to suit you best is slow hot ballads. I am willing to sign you to a contract right now, but since you are to young to sing in night clubs, we'll have to stick to records."

"Not really sir" Lisa said, "Linda sang at a local teen club the other night, one of those amateur night things, and she left the room silent when she was done. I'll bet that if you booked her into those kinds of clubs she would do just fine."

"I'll check into that" he said, "and in the meantime I will leave these contracts with you, plus the names of some agents. You better get one Linda. If you hit like we think you will, you'll need one. Please have your attorney look at the contracts and call me. Here's my card."

Mr. Right gave dad his card, the contracts, and once again told me he thought I would be a hit, then left. I was sitting there, unable to even talk when the producer replayed the music I had just sung. All of us just sat there and listened. On the way home it hit me. I was about to become some kind of star! The minute we got home I called Mark, and asked him to come over, then Lisa called her boyfriend, and we both went to change.

That night I told Mark what had happened. I also asked him not to tell anyone. He agreed, then, with Lisa and Don walking somewhere, Mark kissed me. This time I let go of my maleness, and simply reacted as a girl would. I submitted to him in the only way I could. I had to remove all traces of my manhood, and in my mind, this was the way. Once I did it I could not go back to being a boy, ever. My hand, led by Mark's, found his member. Hard, throbbing in my hand, I stroked him until he shuddered, then lay back. I had to repress a giggle because I knew that he had sticky pants.

I went on to sign those contracts, and recorded two full albums on my first journey to L.A. Because of that I never did attend my old high school, but was put into an all girls school. It was a very strict school, and except for the times I had to do a public appearance or I was at home, I had to wear a uniform. The up side is that I started on a regimen that quickly gave me both the body and shape of a girl my age, and I no longer wear any padding of any kind. It was just before graduation that I finally let Mark touch my breasts, and it was like an electric shock. That was also the night that I took Mark again, but not in my hand. I liked it and I know he did too.

That was three years ago, and now I perform all those sultry hot songs nightly at clubs all over the country. Mark is still with me. He's my husband.

Susan

Janet L. Stickney

[email protected]

As the sun set, it cast a glow through the trees it reflected in the mirror, and what I saw made me feel a bit better about what was happening. I once again checked myself in the mirror, still shocked at how I looked. The dress was snug but not tight, my legs looked long and sexy, my makeup wasn't overdone, and my hair looked perfect to me. It took a bit to get used to the longer nails and the heels, but I finally managed to figure it out. "Susan" I had been dubbed by my mother for that night.

"When is Tom coming by to get you?"

"In a bit mom."

"You look quite lovely as a girl, did you know that?"

"Yeah, thanks mom. Just what I always wanted to hear."

"Well, it's true honey!"

Just then Tom rang the bell and mom opened the door. That's when Tom saw me for the first time. "Damn!" he said, then grinned. Mom told us to have a good time, then surprising me, he took me by the arm and led me to the car, opening the door for me! Starting the car, he glanced over at me.

"What are you looking at Superman? Your x-ray vision won't get you anywhere, even if it worked!"

"Maybe, but damn! It's just that you look way better than I expected! In fact, you look great! Nobody will know that you're a guy! No chance at all, especially not looking the way you do!"

"Sure they will! My voice!"

"Just talk a little softer, and who knows? Maybe you'll be able to pull it off, being a total girl I mean!"

"Tom, I don't want to pull it off! This is a costume party, remember? It's only a costume, and I'm only doing this because you said it would be fun! It was my mom's idea to dress this way, not because I want to be a chick!"

Tom had been invited to a summer party, then invited me to come as his guest, telling me that it would be a good way to meet chicks. Fat chance of that now! He didn't say what his costume was going to be, and I never told him what I was going to wear since I wasn't sure, but when I told mom, she suggested going as a girl, then fixed me up so that I looked like I stepped right out of the sixties! I was wearing a pink mini dress with a jacket to match, and a small ugly little pillbox hat. Just about the only good thing about appearing like I that was that nobody I knew except for Tom, was going to be there. In another blow at not only how I looked but also my ego, he took my hand just as the hostess let us in.

"Hi! I'm Christie!"

"I'm Tom, and this is Susan."

"Superman and Jackie! How cute! Come on in! Everyone is out back!"

Still unconsciously treating me like a girl, he slipped his arm around my waist, then he and I went out back and joined the other people there. All sorts of costumes from aliens to mythic figures and superheroes were represented. I did not see any other guys dressed like a girl, although I might not have been able to tell either. Tom took me around, making things worse when he began to introduce me as Susan to everyone! Even though I wasn't sure that was the right thing to do, I didn't stop him from doing it. I did not want to embarrass myself, which probably meant that everyone thought I was a girl dressed like Lois Lane or maybe Jackie Kennedy. So, based on everyone's reaction, and rather than expose myself to ridicule, I decided to take his advice, and started talking softer, thoroughly stunned that so many people simply accepted me as a girl. I wasn't sure that I looked quite that good, but rather than correct Tom's introduction, and I still don't know why I did it, I quickly started paying more attention to my mannerisms. It was okay though, I told myself that it was just to protect myself, especially after he introduced me to everyone as Susan. It wasn't as if we were a couple or anything like that, but the other people might have thought so, and after the reception I got, I found myself unwilling to ruin the illusion. It was a matter of both shame and pride I guess. It was a fun party with some games, food and music, then…

"Say…ah…Sue? Could you give me a hand? In the little girls room?"

"Ah…sure, but…"

"Great! It's right in here." Once we were inside the bath…"Would you untie me honey? This corset is just killing me!"

Not having much choice, I unzipped her dress, she quickly slipped it down to her waist, then I untied her corset. Before I could leave she unfastened it, turned, and yanked it off. She had a perfect pair, trust me on that, but since she thought I was a girl, I couldn't just stare, so ignoring my natural instincts, I looked at the floor instead. I zipped her back up, and the two of us returned to the party. Still shaken by what had happened, I went to get something to drink. I did not see Tom until just before he walked over, scooping me into his arms, leading me to the dance area. Rather than make a fuss, I went along with it, but…

"Damn you look good Susan! Almost good enough to…"

"Tom, get a grip! Remember who I am!"

"Kind of hard, what with you looking like this… the way you do!"

"Everyone thinks I'm a girl!"

"So? What's the matter with that?"

"That girl? I just helped her take her corset off!"

"That must have been fun."

"Yeah, it would have been, if she didn't think I was a girl!"

"Still…"

"Tom!"

"Okay, okay! I get it, but you still make one hot looking chick!"

"Geesh!"

Later that night when we started to leave, the hostess, Katie hugged me, then Tom. As he led me out to the car, I knew for sure that not one person had read me as a boy dressed like a girl! Tom walked me to the front door, and while I thought he might try to kiss me, he merely squeezed my hand and smiled at me before I went in, only to find mom sitting there waiting for me to get home. She asked how it went, I told her it went fine, then I went to my room and undressed, washed off the makeup and went to bed, only to lay there wondering how so many people could be so stupid not to recognize me as a guy! The next day I was back to being a guy, and went to the kitchen to remove the nails. I was busy setting out things when Tom drove up. I let him in, and saw that he wasn't grinning.

"Bad news kiddo. Katie called, She wants to have an all girl get together, friends of hers I guess, and she invited you!"

"So? Tell her I can't make it."

"Ahhh…I would, except that I can't."

"Why not? It's easy! Just pick up the phone and tell her!"

"Like I said, I can't do that, not right now anyway."

"Okay, I'll bite, why not?"

"Well, I sort of…I like Katie, a lot, and I've been trying to find a way to ask her out, but when you and I went to the party together, well, now she thinks we're a couple! That's why I need you to go! So you can tell her we aren't together! That way I can ask her out without getting a lot of flak."

"And that would leave me…?

"Single, unattached, and not there, not after this little get together anyway."

"Let me get this straight. You want me to become a girl again, go to this hen party, then not only try to convince all of them I'm a girl, but then tell Katie that we're not a couple, just so you can ask her out? Have you thought about how crazy that sounds?"

"Yeah, I know, but I really need you to do this for me, and I'll owe you big. Real big!"

Tom's dad had his own company, and having him owing me big wasn't something I could just ignore, so while I wasn't eager to dress up like a girl again…

"When?" I asked sullenly.

"Today. At two this afternoon. Casual she said."

"This is crazy Tom! All it would take is just one girl to figure it out, and I'm done for! But, if I do this…"

"Thanks! I'll be at home. Give me a call when you get back, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll do that, if I go that is."

Tom sped away, leaving me to wonder how I had gotten myself into such a mess and why I even considered doing it again! Me? Going to a hen party? But, since I had almost said I would do it, I went back in the familyroom to find mom, and tell her what happened. When I told her what had happened the night before she giggled, but when I told her that I had been invited to an all girl get together that afternoon, she quieted right down.

"You do know how dangerous this is don't you? If just one of those girls thinks you're a boy…"

"I know mom, I told him that, but if I can pull it off, Tom will owe me big, and maybe I can get a job at his dad's company later!"

"Well, if you think you can do it, I guess I'll let you do it again, but you don't have anything to wear except that one outfit you wore last night, and it would be tacky to wear it again! You get cleaned up and I'll slip out and get you something to wear. Casual but nice, okay?"

"Sure; thanks mom."

By the time mom returned I had taken a shower and shaved. She came into my room and set some things on the bed, telling me to get something on, then she would help me with the makeup again. When I was ready mom watched as I applied foundation and powder, then eyeliner and eye shadow, a bit of blusher, then she used a blow dryer on my hair to make it fuller. Using some hairspray on it, she waited a bit then brushed my hair in a very feminine coiffure I wasn't sure was even possible before she went and did it. Back in my room, she handed me the bra, the one I used the night before and the twin bags of birdseed I had used to fill the cups. Then came the padded pantybrief, pantyhose, a slip, and finally, the dress that mom held out. It was blue with white checks, two straps, and had a full skirt. I slipped it on, mom zipped it up, and stepped into the white sandals she had bought, then looked in the mirror. The top of the dress wasn't low enough to show anything, but the hemline was above my knees and the dress was tight around my middle. Handing me the earrings, mom watched as I clipped them to my ears, then she fastened the white choker necklace around my neck and handed me the perfume. I used it, then put on the pale red lipstick. It was as good as it was going to get.

"I never knew…what I mean is, I didn't see it before yesterday, but you really are quite pretty…Susan!"

"Me neither mom, thanks."

"It's almost time to leave honey, let me get you my white purse." When she returned…"I also put a wallet in there. You better put your things in that wallet, just in case."

I did what she said, then hugged her just before I stepped of the cliff of common sense, with no idea that I would soon find myself drowning in a sea of confusion, being pulled in several directions at once. Mom should have been outraged that I didn't mind dressing as a girl, and in fact, had willingly agreed to attend an all girl gab fest at Katie's house. I mean, I was her son, and sons don't want to dress up as girls, right? Part of my confusion came from the fact that she didn't get upset, angry, yell, or even shout at me. Quite the contrary. She was helping me and I didn't know why. Trying to forget all that I drove to Katie's house and walked to the door. She let me in, then she and I went out back to sit at a round table. There were no other girls there, and I assumed I was the first, but she dashed that idea rather quickly.

"That was really good last night, when you undressed Jeannie I mean, I almost burst out laughing!"

"What?"

"Oh come on Sue, we both know that you're not a girl, although I don't think anyone but Tom, me and you knew it last night! You look just delicious! Did you know that?"

"Tom told me that too."

"Did he! Well, he should know! Now tell me, is this a…regular thing for you? What I mean is, do you dress up very often?"

"Last night was the first, but…"

"But you're here right now, all dressed up again! Why? If this isn't your thing I mean."

Since she knew that I wasn't a girl, I decided to tell her. Why Tom asked me, how he wanted to ask her out and all that. She giggled when I told her that, but got serious when I told her that I was going to need a job soon, and since Tom would owe me…I figured…why not do it?

"Yeah, I knew that Tom wanted to ask me out, and I will go out with him, but there is something else; the real reason I asked you to come over. My brother thinks you're really hot Sue. He almost asked you out last night, and would have, except he likes Tom, and wouldn't get involved because he thought you two were together."

"You know I can't do that Katie!"

"Sure you can! Guys are so easy Sue! Just go out with him a few times then drop him! He'll never figure it out, especially looking the way you do!"

"I don't like guys Katie! I'm not like that! This was supposed to be a costume, not a way of life!"

"Maybe, but think about this; Jeff is kind of shy, not the kind of guy to force himself on a girl, and besides, you're the very first girl I've ever heard him ask anyone about!" She sat back, obviously thinking, then…"How about this? You, Jeff, Tom and I can double date! That way everyone gets what they want, and nobody gets hurt!"

"Yeah, maybe, but after that…"

"After that you let him down, easy of course, then you'll be out of it!"

"Do you have any idea how crazy this all sounds? Me? On a date with your brother? What if he tries to…"

"You more than anyone should know that guys think with their toy, which means they'll do anything if they think they are going to score; only I don't, and I don't even know any girls that let a guy very far past putting their grubby little hands on a breast, and that's outside of our clothes! Now, will you do this for me?"

"This is nuts" I said.

"But everyone gets what they want Sue! The guys get the date they dream of, we get to get all dolled up, plus, we'll make them take us some place nice, like….Mario's!"

"What if I don't want to get all dolled up?"

"You say that Sue, but there aren't many guys that could look the way you do, and even fewer that can actually get away with it, so I'm thinking that maybe you're protesting to much! Come on Sue! We'll go shopping, get some sexy underwear and some knock out dresses! Maybe new shoes too!" When I didn't say anything…"How about a trip to the beauty shop? We can get our hair and nails done! We'll look so good the guys will be drooling all over themselves!"

"Katie, why bother with all this? I mean, all I have is the rest of the summer, then it's back to school! If any of the other kids find out about this I'll be dead meat!"

"Believe me, nobody will ever guess who you are, and you know that! What about our star quarterback? Wasn't he trying to get you alone last night? And what about Jeannie? Did she know? No! Quit worrying so much! You look terrific!"

I sat there looking at Katie, wondering if she really realized how dangerous this was going to be. One slip up, one mistake, and my name would be mud, or worse. Then, her suggestion that we both hit the beauty shop! While that may be fun for a girl, it wasn't very high on my list, so my getting all dolled up as she put it and making me look great, would have to fall to my mother. Plus, just the thought of asking mom to help me get ready for another outing, especially a date, really made me queasy. But Katie was right about one thing, I actually didn't mind dressing as a girl at all. I wasn't in love with it, but it wasn't that bad, and making the guys take us to Mario's sounded pretty good to me, which is when I committed my biggest mistake. I nodded my head yes. All at once Katie said that she would set it up for the next Saturday, and make all the arrangements at the beauty shop, but that I should be at her house on Friday, so we could find our dresses!

"If you're not real busy, lets go troll the mall…it'll be fun, and maybe we'll get some ideas for next weekend!"

I felt like I was letting myself get sucked into being a girl, something I never thought possible, and wondered why I didn't object more. Maybe I should have, because as Katie stood up and started towards the door, I found myself unable, maybe even unwilling, to say no, go home and change as fast as I could. Instead, she and I drove to the mall, and started down the huge concourse. I wasn't concerned about being found out, I already knew how I looked, so I concentrated on walking like Katie, and using my hands and arms the way she did. She and I went into a dress shop where I watched her try on some really outlandish dresses, something I knew she wouldn't wear anywhere, but were obviously fun to try on. Then she and I went into a small costume jewelry place. Intrigued, I started looking at all the earrings and so on, and got caught up in all the glitter I think. But almost all of the good ones were post, and I needed clip, so when I asked about that, the girl offered to pierce my ears for free!

"Oh go on Sue! Might as well get it over with, clips are out out out! Be a new century woman! Go for it!"

Caught up in the excitement of it all, and in a fit of unknown femininity, I had my ears pierced, then bought several pairs that I liked. That alone made me feel very much like I fit in with Katie, and I did not say a thing when she commented on what she said was my new attitude. By the time we got back to her house I had to leave, so I dropped her off and went home, promising to call her. When mom saw my earrings, she must have known something was up, because…

"Well! Look at you! New earrings! And you seem to be…really comfortable? Is there something you want to tell me? Like how you came to have rhinestone earrings? And how was that little get together? Did you have fun? Did anyone know that you're…"

"Mom! Hold it! Let me sit down and I'll fill you in."

I told her it was a ruse, that Katie knew that I wasn't a girl, then all about the plan she had concocted, and how I had finally agreed. Why, in my lust to go to Mario's, only the best restaurant in town, I had agreed to go as Jeff's date. Mom listened quietly, then burst out laughing!

"Now you've done it!"

"What? I haven't done anything, not yet anyway!"

"Oh yes you have!" mom said, "but what I can't understand is why you're even considered doing this! I'm not even sure if I should let you go on a date? With a boy? It's ridiculous of course, but Katie has probably told her brother that you'll go out with him, which certainly means that he doesn't know that you're a boy dressed up as a girl!" Mom just stared at me for a moment, then, "If I let you do this, and I'm not saying I will, you'll have to have a nice dress, and depending on what happens after this date…what I mean, is, what if he asks you out again? Have you thought about that? Or what that means?" Shaking my head no, wondering what she was driving at… "It means that you'll have to keep dressing as a girl doesn't it? And if likes you he'll probably want to take you out again, maybe more than a few times! What if he decide to take you to Mario's? Just the two of you…alone? If that happens you'll almost certainly have to, or maybe want to, wear a dress that'll show at least something on top, something that you don't have!" Grinning, mom said, "Maybe, since it seems to me that you've already accepted the idea of being a girl, and if I let you do this, we better find something that's a bit better than those bags of seed you're using!" Then came the laughter again. When she settled down…"A trip to the salon might help too, but depending on what you wear, boobs, and maybe hips are going to be your biggest obstacle!"

Mom was right, which I realized as I thought about the dresses Katie tried on. Low cut, probably tight, and certainly short, if mom was right, eventually I was going to have to be prepared to try on, and maybe wear, almost anything she could! I went to my room to change, but only put on my shorts, which were tight, and a tee, which merely accented my breasts. With a sigh, I went to set the table. That's when mom told me that I could just call it off and nobody could do anything about it, but when I didn't say anything…

"I see!" she said in a shocked tone, "you want to do this! Don't you? You want to go to the salon, do some dress shopping, then go out with this boy! You must like this a lot more than I thought! Is that it? You like dressing up as a girl!"

"Mom, I…"

"Isn't it odd for a boy to want to dress like a girl, other than a party I mean. It seems so…"

"Mom! Listen! It's not like that!"

"Oh? Tell me why! If you took a girl to a place like that, and spent several hundred dollars on her, wouldn't you expect her to be…extra nice to you?" I sighed, and she went on. "I know that you knew that, yet you agreed to this date, knowing full well that just shaking his hand when he brought you home probably wasn't going to be enough, so what else am I supposed to think?"

"Mom, this is Mario's! We never go there!"

"And this is your chance?"

"Katie said that I could just put him off after that, and he would get the hint. She said that guys will do anything if they think they have a chance with a girl, so…"

"So you thought you would make him think he had a chance, spend his money on you, then drop him?"

"Well…"

"No dear; I won't let you do that. I wouldn't let you do that even if you really were my daughter! But you're not a girl, and while I thought it was a good costume at the time, and you certainly seem to like it, I also know that you certainly wouldn't like it if you took a girl out and she did that to you would you? Of course not! Besides, I'm still not even sure that I can accept having you running around wearing dresses!" She had a frown on her face, but didn't look upset. "If I let you do this" mom said sourly, "and I might not, just how did you plan on getting out of it later? Won't that boy and his parents wonder where you just disappeared to? And if he picks you up here like he should, won't he always know where to find you? If, and I say if, I let you do this, then you had better be prepared to try on and buy a lot more clothes because once you go out on a date there won't be any way to quit! And like I said before, if this boy likes you like his sister says he does, my bet is that he'll probably to ask you out again! And what about Thomas? He'll know who you really are, and what's to stop him from telling?" For the first time since I sat down, she smiled. "Maybe you accepted this date because you like dressing as a girl more than you wanted to tell me? Is that it?"

"No Ma! It's not like that, it's just…I don't mind it, not really, and you've seen how I look! You have to know that I look better as a girl than I ever did as a guy! It's…"

"What? Okay? Maybe it's okay for boys to dress like girls nowadays, but I doubt it, so if I let you do this, then I'll expect, no, demand that you to go all out to look, act, and be as feminine as possible at all times, and see this all the way to the end, whatever that turns to be! By that I mean that I'm so sure that this is going to get so confusing that maybe none of us, especially you, will know how to get out of it!" Mom sighed, then… "Since you want to do this I guess I'll go along with it, but I will not allow you let this boy spend all that money on you just so you can go to some kind of fancy restaurant, then drop him! That's cruel and you know it. Maybe you might go have a pizza or something like that first, then you'll know how you feel about this, and I can see how you get by. After that we'll discuss this some more."

"So…you're going to let me go out on a date, as a girl?"

"I think I will! Maybe this will be a good lesson for you! Maybe you'll find out that being a girl isn't all that much fun, and I'll remind you again that I don't think running around in dresses is going to end up being as good thing as you think it will be! I'm warning you right now that I think something is going to go wrong, and I want you to be prepared to deal with it!"

Mom gave me a lot to think about, which I did, a whole lot! I knew that what I was doing was risky, and I also knew that guys didn't, or shouldn't, want to dress up as a girl. That was fine, except for the fact that that I liked the way I looked. Since I had never dressed up as a girl before this all started, I wondered why it hit me like it did, yet in many ways I didn't want to find out why I seemed to like it! All I knew was that as a girl I was having more fun than ever before, I looked sort of cute, and for the first time in my life I felt a sense of freedom. It wasn't just the clothes or the makeup or the hair, it was all of them, combined with a social life that I had never experienced before.

It's not that I didn't have any friends, I did, but I never dated because I just didn't feel like I had to. I had friends that were girls, but no "girlfriend" as such. I was an above average student and tried to attend as many school functions as I could, I just felt out of place most of the time, something I could never understand. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror I thought I finally knew why. That's why I didn't change until I went bed that night. When I got up the next morning I looked at the dress, bra, pantyhose and stuff laying around, and wondered if I should get dressed again, but didn't. Still wearing those nails, I went to make breakfast. Mom didn't look shocked or say much at first, then told me to call Katie and tell her that I wanted to get a pizza or something instead of going to Mario's. After that, she said we were going out shopping to get me a skirt and top to wear as well as some flats.

I made the call, but got Jeff instead of Katie. He asked me to go with him, but I told him that regardless of what Katie may have told him, I thought that someplace less fancy might be better, and he quickly agreed. I went to wash up, looked at the clothes, then my nails, and decided to be a girl one more time. After all, I was going out to buy a skirt, so why not? I did my own makeup, put my hair in a ponytail, slipped on my gym shoes, and walked out of the room.

"At least" mom said softly, "it looks like you have mastered the art of makeup well enough I guess. You have one fancy dress, and one summer dress; now you need a skirt and blouse, but I'm wondering if that's going to be enough! What I mean is, after going out on this date you'll have to keep dressing this way and if this boy wants to see you again, then we'll always be running out to get you things! I'm wondering if we might as well get a few skirts, a some blouses, maybe a pair of jeans, shorts, tops and some shoes in black and white. Can you afford that?"

"Sure, I guess..."

"Are you prepared to carry this out as far as it goes? Dressing as a girl all the time, starting right now?" Having decided that issue the night before, I nodded my head yes. "Okay then" mom said, "lets go."

Mom, while making it clear that she did not like me dressing as a girl, she went along with it for a couple of reasons I think. The way I looked was one. The way I looked as a girl shocked both of us because neither of us expected that. Another was because she wanted me to find out that being a girl wasn't going to be fun as she put it. But I think the biggest reason was our mutual confusion about my seemingly casual acceptance in the role of a female. Maybe I didn't put up as much of a fuss as a normal guy should have. Maybe I was meant to be a girl all along and didn't know it. I'm pretty sure that neither mom or I really knew, but for whatever reason, she had decided to go along with it. I had been right when I said that I looked better as a girl rather than a boy, and while mom never said it out loud, I had seen it on her face; she knew it too.

Mom had told me that dressing as a girl all the time, accepting that role and everything that meant wouldn't be fun, and even though I wasn't sure if I could even do it for very long, I was willing to try. What I did not tell mom, because she already knew, was that going out with Jeff would be my first real date of any kind, with anybody, and I was excited about it. Not because I would be going as a girl, but because it was actually going to be my first date. Mom was all business when we got to the mall, heading straight for the store she always went to, and with some help, letting me pick out the skirts while selecting the blouses. In shoes it was just like she said, black and white flats, but added heels in black, red, and white, then on the way out she stopped in lingerie and had me get a package of panties and another bra before I picked up a pair of girls jeans.

"That was a lot of money Susan, but you'll probably get to wear them often enough to make it worth it."

"Maybe."

"It's my guess that you'll more than likely wear them out."

"Mom, I never said…"

"Don't try that honey. I've been watching you all morning, you and all the people around us. Not one person even considered that you were anything but a girl, and you've been acting like a little girl in a candy store ever since we got here! Now, rather than try to lie to me, lets get something to eat and we'll talk about this beauty shop appointment you've been talking about."

Once we were seated and had our meals, mom wanted to know what I knew about beauty shops. When I said that girls get their hair done at a salon, she laughed for a moment, then went down the list of things that most beauty shops offer, like doing hair and nails of course, but also waxing, and makeup among other things.

"If you just go in there and tell them you want the works, you're liable to find yourself spending several hundreds of dollars, so you'll have to pick and chose. Have you thought about it?"

"Well, my hair of course, and maybe my nails, those salon nails you get always look nice, and these…"

"But salon nails are acrylic! That's why they look so nice! Do you have any idea what having acrylic nails means?"

"No, what the big deal? They're just plastic, like these; aren't they?"

"Not hardly! Salon nails are acrylic honey! They are molded to your own nails and fixed in place with some really good glue! That mean they don't come off, at least not very easily, so if you do get them, that would make it almost impossible for you to be a boy again, at least not very soon…is that what you want? Salon nails? So you'll have to be a girl longer?"

"Well…maybe, we did buy all those clothes, and you did say that I would have to be a girl full time, which means that I'll be wearing nothing but girls clothes, so, maybe, why not?"

"I didn't think that you would…what I mean is, if you do get salon nails, then you should think about the rest Susan! If you're willing to live as a girl then you should at least consider having them wax your arms and legs, just to cut down on all that shaving you'll have to do!"

"Mom" I said, "I'm not going anywhere near that place unless you tell me it's okay! You don't sound like you're against it, but you did say that you're not comfortable with me like this, so unless you say it's okay, and tell me right now, I'm done with this! We can take all this stuff back, then I'll call and cancel the date!"

"That would be fine with me honey, except I believe that you've already found out that you like to dress as a girl, which means that you'll probably do it again no matter what you might say right now!" Framing her face by putting her chin in her hands, "You know how I feel about this, so I'm not going to insist that you go ahead with a trip to the salon then out on a date, but if you don't, then how will you…what I'm trying to say is, there are boys out there that have become girls aren't there? How will we know if you are one of them or not unless you try this? Like I said, it's obvious, to me anyway, that you're starting to like being a girl, and it seems to me that this is your best chance to find out if that's true!"

"But I never did this before Tom asked me to that party mom! And dressing as a girl was your idea, remember?"

"True, but the fact remains that you like it, right?"

Mom left me nowhere to turn, leaving me with all those conflicting emotions. I didn't really think that I liked guys like a girl would, but she was right about one thing; I did like dressing as a girl, more than I should have I guess. If I got my hair done, a waxing, then salon nails, I knew, because she told me so, that I would be stuck as a girl for a good long while, unless I was willing to spend the hours needed to get them off. Having my hair done didn't seem so bad, I could always work around that, and not having any excess hair on my arms and legs wouldn't be so bad. It was that other thing. About boys becoming girls that bothered me. I never felt like I wanted to be a girl before, yet everything about it felt so…natural, like it was the most normal thing in the world for me to be dressed that way! We ate, then just before we were ready to leave I told mom that I was going to do it.

"What dear?"

"Have my hair done and get salon nails mom. If you're right, that I might be a…I have to know, and so do you! Right?"

"I suppose, but then, what about your chest? What are you going to do about that?!"

"What's wrong with what I have?"

"Because they don't react to your body quite the way…they look okay of course, but…maybe something else would be better, especially if you're sure about doing this! What about those breast forms women use when they have surgery? Don't they look almost normal?"

"I don't know mom, but they're expensive I'll bet."

"Then why don't we find out?"

That's when I finally asked mom straight out why she was helping me. "Why are you doing all this mom? I mean, I expected you to rant and rave about all this, not help me buy clothes!"

"Oh I wanted to rant a little, but you're to old for that aren't you? Am I happy to find out that you like to dress up as a girl, go on dates with boys and all that? No! Of course not! But you haven't ever had a date have you? What I mean is, and there isn't any way either of us can deny it, you really are quite pretty as a girl. I guess I didn't expect that, but…"

"I never was very masculine guy mom, I know it and so do you. I’m not saying that I want to be a girl, it's just that…I guess, when I found out that I'm better looking as a girl than a guy I was shocked, but I have to admit that I like the attention I'm getting! Nobody ever paid this much attention to me before, and if I have to play dress up to enjoy it, I guess I'll do just that, but I'm not sure about us. How you and I can manage."

"I'll manage just fine honey, you're the one that'll have to adjust! I'll be there to help you, but you got yourself into this mess, so you'll either find a way out or you won't!"

"Adjust?" I asked…

"Ever have to go to the bathroom real bad? For guys, it's in and out. Ever notice the long lines at the ladies room? I can hardly wait to see how you manage that!"

"I always thought it was because you all talked, touched up your makeup and like that!"

"Hardly!" mom snorted, "but you'll find out about those kind of things soon enough. Now then! Lets see what we can learn about breast forms."

We went to a place that sold breast forms for ladies that had had a mastectomy. The lady was very professional, and surprisingly, wasn't put off the slightest when she found out I was a boy. She was very efficient as she showed mom and I everything, from the cheapest to the best.

"If" the lady said, "you'll be wearing them every day, and it sounds like you will be, then our top of the line models will last longer, look better, and are the most natural. They cost a bit more, but they're worth it."

Mom agreed, then said that she would pay for them! After measuring me, the lady returned with a pair.

"These are a B cup, the same as the bra size you had on. Lets go ahead and try them with the bra on before we go any further."

After I tried them on and a few more measurements were taken, the lady made some adjustments, then used a really foul smelling glue to attach them to my chest. She took her time, making sure that the seams were as minor as possible, covering them with a cover stick before she told me to go ahead and put my bra back on. That's how I came to have them on my chest. Heavier than my bags of birdseed, both mom and the lady said that I would get used to them. With every step I could feel them, how they moved with me, and how they reacted to whatever I did. Even with the unfamiliar tugging on my chest, I'll admit that I felt much better wearing them.

"I have a friend" the lady said casually, "that sells things for boys that make them look like girls in other places. I understand that this item also helps in the hip department…if your interested that is."

Mom and I looked at each other, then took the information she offered. By the time we got home I was more than ready to take a really good look at my brand new boobs, which I did. They looked real enough to me, and I grinned at my reflection before I got dressed again. Later, when mom and I were putting things away, Katie stopped by, so the three of us went out back with a soda and sat on the patio.

"You look like the cat that got the extra milk Sue!"

"Katie" mom said, "I want to talk to you about what's going on, and I want you to pay very close attention to what I have to say. Okay?"

"Sure!" Katie said lightly.

"I'm not so sure that having my son dressing as a girl is such a good idea, however, I have agreed to let him try it, for a while anyway. As far as this date goes…"

Mom told her why she had agreed to let me do it, then made it very clear that she wasn't going to let Katie or anyone else put me into any situation that could hurt me. She also told Katie that if she were my friend, she would expect her to help me when I needed it.

"Can I count on all that Katie?"

"Sure! I never…what I mean is, I only asked Susan to do it because Jeff wanted to meet her! I never thought about making her do anything wrong, in fact, I told her that already!"

"I'm sure you did, I just wanted to make sure that you understand how I feel about this."

"I understand" Katie said, "I just stopped by to see if Sue might want to go out tonight, just her and I."

Mom said it was okay, so Katie and I left, going in her car. She and I went back to her house, then into her bedroom. After she shut the door, she asked me if something had changed, telling me that I somehow looked different, only she couldn't put her finger on it.

"It's my boobs" I told her, "I got new ones today."

"That's it! You're…rounder! More natural!" She flopped on her bed. "Jeff almost can't stand waiting for Saturday to get here Sue! I'll bet he's been playing with his toy just thinking about it!"

"Won't do him any good, I'm not…"

"Not what? A girl?" Katie actually laughed at me! "Lets think about that a minute. You're cute as hell, way better looking as a girl than any guy just dressing up as a girl has any right to expect! When you came over here all dressed up because you thought there was going to be a bunch of girls here, you looked just as normal as any girl I know, then you and your mom went out and bought those? Oh no. You like being a girl, so don't go there Susan, because I won't believe it, and I doubt you do either!"

"I'm not, I'm not sure that I like…"

"Boys? Might as well get used to it Sue, because I'm willing to bet that Jeff is going to be just the first in a long line of broken hearts!"

"But" I cried, "I can't, I'm not sure that I can do what you do!"

"And just what do you think I do? I'm not a whore Sue! Guys don't get into my pants! So just what is it that I do that you can't?"

"Kiss" I said sourly. "I'm not sure that I can kiss a guy."

"Easy! Just pucker up and let them have it! If it doesn't do anything for you, well, then you'll know, right?"

"I guess, but."

"No but's Sue! You have to start thinking like a girl, not just a guy in a dress, not if you want this to work, and I already know that you do, or you wouldn't have spent all that money on new boobs!"

Katie asked if I wanted to meet some of her other friends, then got on the phone and started to call around. About an hour later, five other girls were at her house. Jeannie I knew, the rest I had only seen around school. Katie introduced me, then we all went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Most wore jeans or shorts, only Katie and I wore skirts, but nobody said anything as we all sat at the table.

Cathy said "I hear you got a date with Jeff."

"Saturday" I said, "we're doubling with Katie and Tom for pizza."

"I've been trying to gets Tom's attention since fourth grade! No luck yet." Cathy sounded dejected.

"Try using better bait Cathy, Don't wear a bra!"

"Like I could get out of the house without one! My mom would freak out!"

"Get a push up bra" I suggested.

"And wear something low cut" added Rosie.

"Or get one of those new bikini's." Kim was giggling when she said it.

"You look sort of familiar Sue" Amanda said, "but not from school, I would know…"

"Maybe it's her cousin you know, They look a lot alike" Katie said suddenly. "Sue is spending the summer at his house while he's away for the summer."

"And she lands Jeff without any trouble at all!"

"You never had a chance Cathy, no boobs."

"But I have a fine ass!"

"So do I, and it hasn't done me any good either!"

"What are we going to do tonight" Jeannie wanted to know.

Everyone looked at everyone else, and one word came out…"shopping" they all said at the same time. Katie told everyone to be at her house at six, then after they left, she took me back home. It was enlightening to hear girls talk about themselves and boys like that, comparing themselves to each other and so on. I went to my room to take a shower and redo my makeup. When I was out of the bath, and before I got dressed, I dug out the paper I had downloaded that explained how to use tape to make a guy look like a girl. I sat on the bed, and started reading. Using my fingers I could push things together, but I couldn't manage to get the tape on, and after the third failed try, I knew that I would need help, but the only help around was my mother. If I was going out in a group of girls, I figured I had better look as much like them as possible, especially if I found myself trying things on! I hated doing it, but I called out to mom, who came in my room to see me hiding my very manly parts.

"Yes?"

"Uuuuhhh, I need some help mom."

"Doing what for heavens sake! You know how to dress yourself!"

"No, it's not that mom" I said softly, "it's…it's just that I'm going out shopping with some girls, friends of Katie's tonight, and I thought that it would be better if I looked like a girl all over, just in case! What if they want me to try on something that doesn't hide my…bump? I looked it up on the Internet and tried it, but I found out that I can't do it by myself! That's why I was wondering if you would…help me?" Then I showed her the sheet I had printed out.

"I see! So…now you want to look like a girl there too?"

"If I'm going to do this, wouldn't it be better if I didn't have any…so that I could…wear anything they do, without any accidental… excitements? And like I said, if I'm out with those girls shopping tonight, I might find myself trying things on, and I'd really rather be safe than sorry mom, that's all!"

"Well, okay, I guess, …let me read this first."

Mom read the instructions, huffed a few times, then…

"Are you sure about getting your hair and nails done?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, if we follow these instructions, but use something a bit…stronger than tape, I think that I can insure your safety for a few days. We'll use that same glue that lady used on your boobs!"

With my help, mom turned my boy parts into what looked almost like what a girl would have, only she did not use tape, she used that glue. When she was done, nothing hurt when I walked, then she told me to go in the bath and make sure I could eliminate. I could, so she left me to get dressed. It was very strange not to have to try and hide things, but I knew that I would be safe, and that was all that counted. Seeing my naked form in the mirror, all I could do was gasp at the changes that had happened to me in less than a week, and wondered once again why I had let it happen. Then I pulled on my panties and did my makeup. I wore a short skirt with a thin top, my flats, my hair down and basic makeup. Not over done at all. I went out, walked over to mom, and hugged her.

"Thanks mom."

"Do I have a daughter now?"

"A niece. Some of the girls thought I looked familiar, so Katie told them I was a cousin."

"Okay. Have a nice evening. Do you have some money?"

"I'm okay mom."

It was instructive, shopping with a horde of girls rather than mom. She was more deliberate, while every one of the girls was adventurous. Jeannie tried on some very sexy lingerie, and ended up buying it, Rosie looked at short skirts but held back. Katie got me to try on a nice dress, which I bought, then it was on to jewelry, shoes, lots of shoes, makeup, perfume and other stuff. Kim bought some shorts and shoes, Katie wanted new jeans, and I wanted to sit down and take a rest. By the time the mall closed they had completely accepted me as one of them, which was just what I needed if I had any chance of pulling this off. My poor ego needed a boost for sure. By the time I got home I was whipped, and quickly changed for bed. But if I thought it was exhilarating to be out with a bunch of girls, mom was about to raise the bar, except I didn't know that. The next morning…

"Since you seem to have committed yourself to this" she said slowly, "and while I'm still not sure that this is the right thing to do, I have decided that you were right. The only way to find out if this is just some kind of experiment is for you to go all out and become a girl in every way possible. So, right after you get dressed, we are going to the address the lady at the mastectomy shop gave us and get you fitted out. Then we'll go to the salon, just you and I, and you'll get the works! I'll feel much better being there with you rather than letting Katie convince you of something that I might not like. I'll pay for all this, but I'll expect you to keep it up after this, is that okay?"

"Sure mom."

"Good. Lets get your parts undone, then you can get dressed. Don't wear any makeup, they'll just wash it off anyway. Now go get dressed."

Getting fitted for that "other" special piece of equipment was just about the most embarrassing thing I had ever done, but when the guy was done, there wasn't any sign that I was a boy or ever had been! My hips were fuller, my butt rounder, and according to the guy, I was "fully functional" as a girl!

"If you want" the guy told mom and I, "using these will simulate a period." He put a handful on the counter, then…"use the lubricant before any romantic encounter, and I promise, nobody will ever know. I pride myself on my work, and always take special care to assure my clients full satisfaction. Call me if you have any problems Susan."

I thought I knew what to expect with that panty I had on, but after I found out that I could have periods, and even sex, I was at a total loss for words. Mom was smirking I think, but she didn't say a word as we drove over to the salon. I thought that I knew what "the works meant after mom explained it. Foolish me. I didn't have a real clue. First, they had me get down to my bra and panties, then they stripped off every bit of hair on both legs from my ankle to below my panty line! Then they did my arms, including my hands and armpits! Aching, I thought they were done, until she started on my face with a laser, removing all traces of my mustache and chin hairs before she started in on my throat, then reshaped my eyebrows. My skin was on fire, but the lady lied to me when she rubbed in a lotion of some kind which, she said, would ease the fire a little. That was a big fat lie. I hurt all over. Then she started putting a mud pack on my face! While that hardened, all I could do was lay there, and later, when she removed the mask, it came off with what sounded like a rip. That's when I knew that I was in a torture chamber masquerading as a salon! Still wearing the gown I was given to wear, I followed the lady out to another chair. Using a small stick and some goo, she trimmed my eyebrows again so they were thinner with more arch. Then came the hair styling.

"Your hair has an auburn cast in it honey, how about we try to match it? It'll look fantastic with your coloring!"

"Yeah, why not."

"How about some curls? Trust me. I can make you look just gorgeous honey!"

"Might as well" I said, already knowing I was already in way to deep to back out.

Two hours later I was sitting at the table as the nail lady started working on my hands. After she removed the fakes, she cleaned my nails and began applying the salon nails. By the time she was done, almost four hours had passed since I first walked in, and as I got dressed and saw my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but smile. I did not look like me in any way, except maybe height. My makeup was perfectly done, the nails just long enough to be feminine yet usable, my curly auburn hair fell around my face just right, and my skin was as smooth as any woman's, and even my face had a new smoothness! I waited until mom returned and paid the bill, but her first reaction when she saw me was one of stunned silence. On the way out…

"God! You look…simply gorgeous! I figured you would look better, but…this changes everything, doesn't it?"

"How?"

"You're not going to quit, not now, not after buying those boobs and that panty, and seeing how you look now, well, I'm willing to bet that you can't quit!"

"They did make me look pretty good, didn't they?"

"I'll say!"

As mom was driving, I noticed that we weren't headed home like I thought, so I asked where we were going.

"Okay, what's up mom? You got that look on your face again."

"I was just thinking" she said, "given how you've already gone well past being able to stop dressing as a girl, right away that is, and given how nice you look, I'm going to make sure that you have a drivers license in the name of Susan Elizabeth because I think it's time that you thought about the future honey. Becoming a girl is going to be expensive, and at the very least, until you get more of the things you'll need to have, you'll need to get a job! And since you've decided to be a girl, you'll have to have the proper identification to get a job!"

That's when I found out that I was taking my drivers test! Only I already had a drivers license! Mom had said it was for my own good. I knew she was right. When we were at the counter mom signed a paper swearing that I was her daughter, my name was Susan Elizabeth, and that I was 17. The woman looked up at me, smiled, then handed me the test. An hour later I walked out with a perfectly valid driver license in my girl name! That meant that according to the state, I was legally a female! Mom let me drive home, silent but with a smirk on her face.

"I was thinking" mom said, "that now is the time you and Tom had a long talk. You said he owes you, so call him, have him come over, then make him pay up!"

As soon as we got home, I called Tom, asked him to come over, then went to my room and touched up my lipstick. I briefly thought about changing into something that would show off my new boobs, but decided that I didn't need to do that. I went to the kitchen, got a soda, and sat waiting for him to arrive, and when he did, I opened the door to let him in. When he saw me his eyes almost bugged out.

"Damn!"

"Like it? I had it done this morning!"

"Wow!"

"I'll take that as a yes. Come in, lets sit down."

Once we sat down, I told him that I needed a job, and gently reminded him that he owed me.

"You aahhh…going to work, like that?"

"Sure! Why not? Don't I look good enough?"

"Hell yes! You look great! It's just that…well…" That's when I handed him my new driver license. "That's you! Is this the real deal?"

"Yeah; mom and I went there this morning, I took the test, and voila! They said I was a girl, and now I can prove I am! Neat! Isn't it?"

"Aahhh…What are you doing!? I mean, you look fantastic and all that, but…what the hell is going on?! A valid drivers license? As a girl? That can only mean one thing! That you're going to…..become a girl?!"

"It turns out that I not only look better as a girl, I sort of like it! So…yeah, why not?"

"No reason I guess, it's just so…different I guess!"

"Aren't you the one that asked me to do this for you? So you could ask Katie out? You must have somehow known, even then, that I was good at it, or maybe wanted to, or you wouldn't have asked me to keep doing it! Now, how about it? Can I get a job with your dad?"

"Yeah. Let me call him. Hand me your drivers license."

Tom made the call, gave his dad some information, then looked up at me grinning. Then he told me that his dad wanted to meet me, so if I had the time, he would take me over to his house, and bring me back home later. I told mom I was leaving, grabbed my purse, and followed Tom out to the car.

"Your dad doesn't know does he? About me I mean?"

"Nah, he only knows your name. Relax! You'll be fine!"

"When are you and Jeff picking me up?"

"Six. We'll have something to eat and maybe a show later?"

"Jeff doesn't know Tom, and I don't want him or anyone else to find out, okay?"

"Sure...of course."

Tom's dad was very nice, but as we sat and talked I saw and felt his dad's eyes roaming all over me, a very strange sensation, yet he was always polite, and he gave me a job starting the following Monday as a clerk. When Tom took me home, he reminded me that they would be over at six to get me. I changed into a dress, then sat nervously waiting to go on my first date. Right on time, Jeff was all grins when I let him take me to the car. Tom and Katie weren't there, so I asked why. Jeff told me they were going to meet us. My first thought was that it was fine, then I realized that with only Jeff and I in the car, he might not be quite as shy as Katie said he was!

We had our pizza, went to the show, and on the way home, Jeff asked me out again. By the time we were parked in front of my house, I was ready for what I knew I had to do, and let him kiss me. Then, just as I went in, I said "yes" to his invitation for another date and ran inside. That night as I lay in bed my hand fell to my groin, and as I fingered the changes, I had a serious case of the doubts as I wondered just how long I could manage to keep up the charade. The feeling passed and I began to relax as I once again accepted what I felt inside was the truth. I saw Jeff the next afternoon, we went for a short drive, then I called Katie when I got home. Bubbly as always, she wanted all the gossip, but I held back a few things, although I did tell her that I was starting work at Tom's dad's place on Monday.

The night before I was to report to work, I once again found myself wondering if I had finally gone insane, especially after I looked in the mirror and saw my face covered in green, a home facial I was using. I was wearing a flannel nightgown, my hair was in rollers, and fuzzy blue slippers to keep my feet warm! In the past I had teased mom about doing the very same thing, yet there I was, spending hours trying to look pretty! I know that mom was holding it in, her giggle I mean.

"I seem to remember you teasing me about doing the same thing you're doing" mom said with a grin.

"Yeah, but now…"

"Remember what I said about adjusting?"

"Yeah…?"

"How's it going?"

I grinned back at her and said nothing because there wasn't anything I could say. In the morning I wore a nice skirt and blouse with low heels when I reported for work, assigned to taking care of the inventory tracking system, replacing a woman that had quit to have a baby.

Day by day, living and working as a girl simply became normal. Not one person in the office had a clue that I was a boy, and I was accepted by everyone as just one of the girls. I passed on my first year of college and kept working, saving my money until I could finally start taking the medications to help me gain the actual body I had come to realize I needed, and wanted. Jeff and I broke up, Tom kept my secret, and Katie and I have become very close, almost like sisters. Mom has started dating a fellow that treats her like a queen, so I know that it won't be long before I'll have a new dad, and be moving out to my own apartment. Life is good.

Susan

Janet L. Stickney

[email protected]

As the sun set, it cast a glow through the trees that were reflected in the mirror, and what I saw made me feel a bit better about what was happening. I once again checked myself in the mirror, still shocked at how I looked. The dress was snug but not tight, my legs looked long and sexy, my makeup wasn't overdone, and my hair looked perfect to me. It took a bit to get used to the longer nails and the heels, but I finally managed to figure it out. "Susan" I had been dubbed by my mother for that night.

"When is Tom coming by to get you?"

"In a bit mom."

"You look quite lovely as a girl, did you know that?"

"Yeah, thanks mom. Just what I always wanted to hear."

"Well, it's true honey!"

Just then Tom rang the bell and mom opened the door. That's when Tom saw me for the first time. "Damn!" he said, then grinned. Mom told us to have a good time, then surprising me, he took me by the arm and led me to the car, opening the door for me! Starting the car, he glanced over at me.

"What are you looking at Superman? Your x-ray vision won't get you anywhere, even if it worked!"

"Maybe, but damn! It's just that you look way better than I expected! In fact, you look great! Nobody will know that you're a guy! No chance at all, especially not looking the way you do!"

"Sure they will! My voice!"

"Just talk a little softer, and who knows? Maybe you'll be able to pull it off, being a total girl I mean!"

"Tom, I don't want to pull it off! This is a costume party, remember? It's only a costume, and I'm only doing this because you said it would be fun! It was my mom's idea to dress this way, not because I want to be a chick!"

Tom had been invited to a summer party, then invited me to come as his guest, telling me that it would be a good way to meet chicks. Fat chance of that now! He didn't say what his costume was going to be, and I never told him what I was going to wear since I wasn't sure, but when I told mom, she suggested going as a girl, then fixed me up so that I looked like I stepped right out of the sixties! I was wearing a pink mini dress with a jacket to match, and a small ugly little pillbox hat. Just about the only good thing about appearing like I that was that nobody I knew except for Tom, was going to be there. In another blow at not only how I looked but also my ego, he took my hand just as the hostess let us in.

"Hi! I'm Christie!"

"I'm Tom, and this is Susan."

"Superman and Jackie! How cute! Come on in! Everyone is out back!"

Still unconsciously treating me like a girl, he slipped his arm around my waist, then he and I went out back and joined the other people there. All sorts of costumes from aliens to mythic figures and superheroes were represented. I did not see any other guys dressed like a girl, although I might not have been able to tell either. Tom took me around, making things worse when he began to introduce me to everyone as Susan! Even though I wasn't sure that was the right thing to do, I didn't stop him from doing it. I did not want to embarrass myself, which probably meant that everyone thought I was a girl dressed like Lois Lane or maybe Jackie Kennedy. So, based on everyone's reaction, and rather than expose myself to ridicule, I decided to take his advice, and started talking softer, thoroughly stunned that so many people simply accepted me as a girl. I wasn't sure that I looked quite that good, but rather than correct Tom's introduction, and I still don't know why I did it, I quickly started paying more attention to my mannerisms. It was okay though, I told myself that it was just to protect myself, especially after he introduced me to everyone as Susan. It wasn't as if we were a couple or anything like that, but the other people might have thought so, and after the reception I got, I found myself unwilling to ruin the illusion. It was a matter of both shame and pride I guess. It was a fun party with some games, food and music, then…

"Say…ah…Sue? Could you give me a hand? In the little girls room?"

"Ah…sure, but…"

"Great! It's right in here." Once we were inside the bath…"Would you untie me honey? This corset is just killing me!"

Not having much choice, I unzipped her dress, she quickly slipped it down to her waist, then I untied her corset. Before I could leave she unfastened it, turned, and yanked it off. She had a perfect pair, trust me on that, but since she thought I was a girl, I couldn't just stare, so ignoring my natural instincts, I looked at the floor instead. I zipped her back up, and the two of us returned to the party. Still shaken by what had happened, I went to get something to drink. I did not see Tom until just before he walked over, scooping me into his arms, leading me to the dance area. Rather than make a fuss, I went along with it, but…

"Damn you look good Susan! Almost good enough to…"

"Tom, get a grip! Remember who I am!"

"Kind of hard, what with you looking like this… the way you do!"

"Everyone thinks I'm a girl!"

"So? What's the matter with that?"

"That girl? I just helped her take her corset off!"

"That must have been fun."

"Yeah, it would have been, if she didn't think I was a girl!"

"Still…"

"Tom!"

"Okay, okay! I get it, but you still make one hot looking chick!"

"Geesh!"

Later that night when we started to leave, the hostess, Katie hugged me, then Tom. As he led me out to the car, I knew for sure that not one person had read me as a boy dressed like a girl! Tom walked me to the front door, and while I thought he might try to kiss me, he merely squeezed my hand and smiled at me before I went in, only to find mom sitting there waiting for me to get home. She asked how it went, I told her it went fine, then I went to my room and undressed, washed off the makeup and went to bed, only to lay there wondering how so many people could be so stupid not to recognize me as a guy! The next day I was back to being a guy, and went to the kitchen to remove the nails. I was busy setting out things when Tom drove up. I let him in, and saw that he wasn't grinning.

"Bad news kiddo. Katie called, She wants to have an all girl get together, friends of hers I guess, and she invited you!"

"So? Tell her I can't make it."

"Ahhh…I would, except that I can't."

"Why not? It's easy! Just pick up the phone and tell her!"

"Like I said, I can't do that, not right now anyway."

"Okay, I'll bite, why not?"

"Well, I sort of…I like Katie, a lot, and I've been trying to find a way to ask her out, but when you and I went to the party together, well, now she thinks we're a couple! That's why I need you to go! So you can tell her we aren't together! That way I can ask her out without getting a lot of flak."

"And that would leave me…?

"Single, unattached, and not there, not after this little get together anyway."

"Let me get this straight. You want me to become a girl again, go to this hen party, then not only try to convince all of them I'm a girl, but then tell Katie that we're not a couple, just so you can ask her out? Have you thought about how crazy that sounds?"

"Yeah, I know, but I really need you to do this for me, and I'll owe you big. Real big!"

Tom's dad had his own company, and having him owing me big wasn't something I could just ignore, so while I wasn't eager to dress up like a girl again…

"When?" I asked sullenly.

"Today. At two this afternoon. Casual she said."

"This is crazy Tom! All it would take is just one girl to figure it out, and I'm done for! But, if I do this…"

"Thanks! I'll be at home. Give me a call when you get back, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll do that, if I go that is."

Tom sped away, leaving me to wonder how I had gotten myself into such a mess and why I even considered doing it again! Me? Going to a hen party? But, since I had almost said I would do it, I went back in the familyroom to find mom, and tell her what happened. When I told her what had happened the night before she giggled, but when I told her that I had been invited to an all girl get together that afternoon, she quieted right down.

"You do know how dangerous this is don't you? If just one of those girls thinks you're a boy…"

"I know mom, I told him that, but if I can pull it off, Tom will owe me big, and maybe I can get a job at his dad's company later!"

"Well, if you think you can do it, I guess I'll let you do it again, but you don't have anything to wear except that one outfit you wore last night, and it would be tacky to wear it again! You get cleaned up and I'll slip out and get you something to wear. Casual but nice, okay?"

"Sure; thanks mom."

By the time mom returned I had taken a shower and shaved. She came into my room and set some things on the bed, telling me to get something on, then she would help me with the makeup again. When I was ready mom watched as I applied foundation and powder, then eyeliner and eye shadow, a bit of blusher, then she used a blow dryer on my hair to make it fuller. Using some hairspray on it, she waited a bit then brushed my hair in a very feminine coiffure I wasn't sure was even possible before she went and did it. Back in my room, she handed me the bra, the one I used the night before and the twin bags of birdseed I had used to fill the cups. Then came the padded pantybrief, pantyhose, a slip, and finally, the dress that mom held out. It was blue with white checks, two straps, and had a full skirt. I slipped it on, mom zipped it up, and stepped into the white sandals she had bought, then looked in the mirror. The top of the dress wasn't low enough to show anything, but the hemline was above my knees and the dress was tight around my middle. Handing me the earrings, mom watched as I clipped them to my ears, then she fastened the white choker necklace around my neck and handed me the perfume. I used it, then put on the pale red lipstick. It was as good as it was going to get.

"I never knew…what I mean is, I didn't see it before yesterday, but you really are quite pretty…Susan!"

"Me neither mom, thanks."

"It's almost time to leave honey, let me get you my white purse." When she returned…"I also put a wallet in there. You better put your things in that wallet, just in case."

I did what she said, then hugged her just before I stepped of the cliff of common sense, with no idea that I would soon find myself drowning in a sea of confusion, being pulled in several directions at once. Mom should have been outraged that I didn't mind dressing as a girl, and in fact, had willingly agreed to attend an all girl gab fest at Katie's house. I mean, I was her son, and sons don't want to dress up as girls, right? Part of my confusion came from the fact that she didn't get upset, angry, yell, or even shout at me. Quite the contrary. She was helping me and I didn't know why. Trying to forget all that I drove to Katie's house and walked to the door. She let me in, then she and I went out back to sit at a round table. There were no other girls there, and I assumed I was the first, but she dashed that idea rather quickly.

"That was really good last night, when you undressed Jeannie I mean, I almost burst out laughing!"

"What?"

"Oh come on Sue, we both know that you're not a girl, although I don't think anyone but Tom, me and you knew it last night! You look just delicious! Did you know that?"

"Tom told me that too."

"Did he! Well, he should know! Now tell me, is this a…regular thing for you? What I mean is, do you dress up very often?"

"Last night was the first, but…"

"But you're here right now, all dressed up again! Why? If this isn't your thing I mean."

Since she knew that I wasn't a girl, I decided to tell her. Why Tom asked me, how he wanted to ask her out and all that. She giggled when I told her that, but got serious when I told her that I was going to need a job soon, and since Tom would owe me…I figured…why not do it?

"Yeah, I knew that Tom wanted to ask me out, and I will go out with him, but there is something else; the real reason I asked you to come over. My brother thinks you're really hot Sue. He almost asked you out last night, and would have, except he likes Tom, and wouldn't get involved because he thought you two were together."

"You know I can't do that Katie!"

"Sure you can! Guys are so easy Sue! Just go out with him a few times then drop him! He'll never figure it out, especially looking the way you do!"

"I don't like guys Katie! I'm not like that! This was supposed to be a costume, not a way of life!"

"Maybe, but think about this; Jeff is kind of shy, not the kind of guy to force himself on a girl, and besides, you're the very first girl I've ever heard him ask anyone about!" She sat back, obviously thinking, then…"How about this? You, Jeff, Tom and I can double date! That way everyone gets what they want, and nobody gets hurt!"

"Yeah, maybe, but after that…"

"After that you let him down, easy of course, then you'll be out of it!"

"Do you have any idea how crazy this all sounds? Me? On a date with your brother? What if he tries to…"

"You more than anyone should know that guys think with their toy, which means they'll do anything if they think they are going to score; only I don't, and I don't even know any girls that let a guy very far past putting their grubby little hands on a breast, and that's outside of our clothes! Now, will you do this for me?"

"This is nuts" I said.

"But everyone gets what they want Sue! The guys get the date they dream of, we get to get all dolled up, plus, we'll make them take us some place nice, like….Mario's!"

"What if I don't want to get all dolled up?"

"You say that Sue, but there aren't many guys that could look the way you do, and even fewer that can actually get away with it, so I'm thinking that maybe you're protesting to much! Come on Sue! We'll go shopping, get some sexy underwear and some knock out dresses! Maybe new shoes too!" When I didn't say anything…"How about a trip to the beauty shop? We can get our hair and nails done! We'll look so good the guys will be drooling all over themselves!"

"Katie, why bother with all this? I mean, all I have is the rest of the summer, then it's back to school! If any of the other kids find out about this I'll be dead meat!"

"Believe me, nobody will ever guess who you are, and you know that! What about our star quarterback? Wasn't he trying to get you alone last night? And what about Jeannie? Did she know? No! Quit worrying so much! You look terrific!"

I sat there looking at Katie, wondering if she really realized how dangerous this was going to be. One slip up, one mistake, and my name would be mud, or worse. Then, her suggestion that we both hit the beauty shop! While that may be fun for a girl, it wasn't very high on my list, so my getting all dolled up as she put it and making me look great, would have to fall to my mother. Plus, just the thought of asking mom to help me get ready for another outing, especially a date, really made me queasy. But Katie was right about one thing, I actually didn't mind dressing as a girl at all. I wasn't in love with it, but it wasn't that bad, and making the guys take us to Mario's sounded pretty good to me, which is when I committed my biggest mistake. I nodded my head yes. All at once Katie said that she would set it up for the next Saturday, and make all the arrangements at the beauty shop, but that I should be at her house on Friday, so we could find our dresses!

"If you're not real busy, lets go troll the mall…it'll be fun, and maybe we'll get some ideas for next weekend!"

I felt like I was letting myself get sucked into being a girl, something I never thought possible, and wondered why I didn't object more. Maybe I should have, because as Katie stood up and started towards the door, I found myself unable, maybe even unwilling, to say no, go home and change as fast as I could. Instead, she and I drove to the mall, and started down the huge concourse. I wasn't concerned about being found out, I already knew how I looked, so I concentrated on walking like Katie, and using my hands and arms the way she did. She and I went into a dress shop where I watched her try on some really outlandish dresses, something I knew she wouldn't wear anywhere, but were obviously fun to try on. Then she and I went into a small costume jewelry place. Intrigued, I started looking at all the earrings and so on, and got caught up in all the glitter I think. But almost all of the good ones were post, and I needed clip, so when I asked about that, the girl offered to pierce my ears for free!

"Oh go on Sue! Might as well get it over with, clips are out out out! Be a new century woman! Go for it!"

Caught up in the excitement of it all, and in a fit of unknown femininity, I had my ears pierced, then bought several pairs that I liked. That alone made me feel very much like I fit in with Katie, and I did not say a thing when she commented on what she said was my new attitude. By the time we got back to her house I had to leave, so I dropped her off and went home, promising to call her. When mom saw my earrings, she must have known something was up, because…

"Well! Look at you! New earrings! And you seem to be…really comfortable? Is there something you want to tell me? Like how you came to have rhinestone earrings? And how was that little get together? Did you have fun? Did anyone know that you're…"

"Mom! Hold it! Let me sit down and I'll fill you in."

I told her it was a ruse, that Katie knew that I wasn't a girl, then all about the plan she had concocted, and how I had finally agreed. Why, in my lust to go to Mario's, only the best restaurant in town, I had agreed to go as Jeff's date. Mom listened quietly, then burst out laughing!

"Now you've done it!"

"What? I haven't done anything, not yet anyway!"

"Oh yes you have!" mom said, "but what I can't understand is why you're even considered doing this! I'm not even sure if I should let you go on a date? With a boy? It's ridiculous of course, but Katie has probably told her brother that you'll go out with him, which certainly means that he doesn't know that you're a boy dressed up as a girl!" Mom just stared at me for a moment, then, "If I let you do this, and I'm not saying I will, you'll have to have a nice dress, and depending on what happens after this date…what I mean, is, what if he asks you out again? Have you thought about that? Or what that means?" Shaking my head no, wondering what she was driving at… "It means that you'll have to keep dressing as a girl doesn't it? And if likes you he'll probably want to take you out again, maybe more than a few times! What if he decide to take you to Mario's? Just the two of you…alone? If that happens you'll almost certainly have to, or maybe want to, wear a dress that'll show at least something on top, something that you don't have!" Grinning, mom said, "Maybe, since it seems to me that you've already accepted the idea of being a girl, and if I let you do this, we better find something that's a bit better than those bags of seed you're using!" Then came the laughter again. When she settled down…"A trip to the salon might help too, but depending on what you wear, boobs, and maybe hips are going to be your biggest obstacle!"

Mom was right, which I realized as I thought about the dresses Katie tried on. Low cut, probably tight, and certainly short, if mom was right, eventually I was going to have to be prepared to try on, and maybe wear, almost anything she could! I went to my room to change, but only put on my shorts, which were tight, and a tee, which merely accented my breasts. With a sigh, I went to set the table. That's when mom told me that I could just call it off and nobody could do anything about it, but when I didn't say anything…

"I see!" she said in a shocked tone, "you want to do this! Don't you? You want to go to the salon, do some dress shopping, then go out with this boy! You must like this a lot more than I thought! Is that it? You like dressing up as a girl!"

"Mom, I…"

"Isn't it odd for a boy to want to dress like a girl, other than a party I mean. It seems so…"

"Mom! Listen! It's not like that!"

"Oh? Tell me why! If you took a girl to a place like that, and spent several hundred dollars on her, wouldn't you expect her to be…extra nice to you?" I sighed, and she went on. "I know that you knew that, yet you agreed to this date, knowing full well that just shaking his hand when he brought you home probably wasn't going to be enough, so what else am I supposed to think?"

"Mom, this is Mario's! We never go there!"

"And this is your chance?"

"Katie said that I could just put him off after that, and he would get the hint. She said that guys will do anything if they think they have a chance with a girl, so…"

"So you thought you would make him think he had a chance, spend his money on you, then drop him?"

"Well…"

"No dear; I won't let you do that. I wouldn't let you do that even if you really were my daughter! But you're not a girl, and while I thought it was a good costume at the time, and you certainly seem to like it, I also know that you certainly wouldn't like it if you took a girl out and she did that to you would you? Of course not! Besides, I'm still not even sure that I can accept having you running around wearing dresses!" She had a frown on her face, but didn't look upset. "If I let you do this" mom said sourly, "and I might not, just how did you plan on getting out of it later? Won't that boy and his parents wonder where you just disappeared to? And if he picks you up here like he should, won't he always know where to find you? If, and I say if, I let you do this, then you had better be prepared to try on and buy a lot more clothes because once you go out on a date there won't be any way to quit! And like I said before, if this boy likes you like his sister says he does, my bet is that he'll probably to ask you out again! And what about Thomas? He'll know who you really are, and what's to stop him from telling?" For the first time since I sat down, she smiled. "Maybe you accepted this date because you like dressing as a girl more than you wanted to tell me? Is that it?"

"No Ma! It's not like that, it's just…I don't mind it, not really, and you've seen how I look! You have to know that I look better as a girl than I ever did as a guy! It's…"

"What? Okay? Maybe it's okay for boys to dress like girls nowadays, but I doubt it, so if I let you do this, then I'll expect, no, demand that you to go all out to look, act, and be as feminine as possible at all times, and see this all the way to the end, whatever that turns to be! By that I mean that I'm so sure that this is going to get so confusing that maybe none of us, especially you, will know how to get out of it!" Mom sighed, then… "Since you want to do this I guess I'll go along with it, but I will not allow you let this boy spend all that money on you just so you can go to some kind of fancy restaurant, then drop him! That's cruel and you know it. Maybe you might go have a pizza or something like that first, then you'll know how you feel about this, and I can see how you get by. After that we'll discuss this some more."

"So…you're going to let me go out on a date, as a girl?"

"I think I will! Maybe this will be a good lesson for you! Maybe you'll find out that being a girl isn't all that much fun, and I'll remind you again that I don't think running around in dresses is going to end up being as good thing as you think it will be! I'm warning you right now that I think something is going to go wrong, and I want you to be prepared to deal with it!"

Mom gave me a lot to think about, which I did, a whole lot! I knew that what I was doing was risky, and I also knew that guys didn't, or shouldn't, want to dress up as a girl. That was fine, except for the fact that that I liked the way I looked. Since I had never dressed up as a girl before this all started, I wondered why it hit me like it did, yet in many ways I didn't want to find out why I seemed to like it! All I knew was that as a girl I was having more fun than ever before, I looked sort of cute, and for the first time in my life I felt a sense of freedom. It wasn't just the clothes or the makeup or the hair, it was all of them, combined with a social life that I had never experienced before.

It's not that I didn't have any friends, I did, but I never dated because I just didn't feel like I had to. I had friends that were girls, but no "girlfriend" as such. I was an above average student and tried to attend as many school functions as I could, I just felt out of place most of the time, something I could never understand. As I looked at my reflection in the mirror I thought I finally knew why. That's why I didn't change until I went bed that night. When I got up the next morning I looked at the dress, bra, pantyhose and stuff laying around, and wondered if I should get dressed again, but didn't. Still wearing those nails, I went to make breakfast. Mom didn't look shocked or say much at first, then told me to call Katie and tell her that I wanted to get a pizza or something instead of going to Mario's. After that, she said we were going out shopping to get me a skirt and top to wear as well as some flats.

I made the call, but got Jeff instead of Katie. He asked me to go with him, but I told him that regardless of what Katie may have told him, I thought that someplace less fancy might be better, and he quickly agreed. I went to wash up, looked at the clothes, then my nails, and decided to be a girl one more time. After all, I was going out to buy a skirt, so why not? I did my own makeup, put my hair in a ponytail, slipped on my gym shoes, and walked out of the room.

"At least" mom said softly, "it looks like you have mastered the art of makeup well enough I guess. You have one fancy dress, and one summer dress; now you need a skirt and blouse, but I'm wondering if that's going to be enough! What I mean is, after going out on this date you'll have to keep dressing this way and if this boy wants to see you again, then we'll always be running out to get you things! I'm wondering if we might as well get a few skirts, a some blouses, maybe a pair of jeans, shorts, tops and some shoes in black and white. Can you afford that?"

"Sure, I guess..."

"Are you prepared to carry this out as far as it goes? Dressing as a girl all the time, starting right now?" Having decided that issue the night before, I nodded my head yes. "Okay then" mom said, "lets go."

Mom, while making it clear that she did not like me dressing as a girl, she went along with it for a couple of reasons I think. The way I looked was one. The way I looked as a girl shocked both of us because neither of us expected that. Another was because she wanted me to find out that being a girl wasn't going to be fun as she put it. But I think the biggest reason was our mutual confusion about my seemingly casual acceptance in the role of a female. Maybe I didn't put up as much of a fuss as a normal guy should have. Maybe I was meant to be a girl all along and didn't know it. I'm pretty sure that neither mom or I really knew, but for whatever reason, she had decided to go along with it. I had been right when I said that I looked better as a girl rather than a boy, and while mom never said it out loud, I had seen it on her face; she knew it too.

Mom had told me that dressing as a girl all the time, accepting that role and everything that meant wouldn't be fun, and even though I wasn't sure if I could even do it for very long, I was willing to try. What I did not tell mom, because she already knew, was that going out with Jeff would be my first real date of any kind, with anybody, and I was excited about it. Not because I would be going as a girl, but because it was actually going to be my first date. Mom was all business when we got to the mall, heading straight for the store she always went to, and with some help, letting me pick out the skirts while selecting the blouses. In shoes it was just like she said, black and white flats, but added heels in black, red, and white, then on the way out she stopped in lingerie and had me get a package of panties and another bra before I picked up a pair of girls jeans.

"That was a lot of money Susan, but you'll probably get to wear them often enough to make it worth it."

"Maybe."

"It's my guess that you'll more than likely wear them out."

"Mom, I never said…"

"Don't try that honey. I've been watching you all morning, you and all the people around us. Not one person even considered that you were anything but a girl, and you've been acting like a little girl in a candy store ever since we got here! Now, rather than try to lie to me, lets get something to eat and we'll talk about this beauty shop appointment you've been talking about."

Once we were seated and had our meals, mom wanted to know what I knew about beauty shops. When I said that girls get their hair done at a salon, she laughed for a moment, then went down the list of things that most beauty shops offer, like doing hair and nails of course, but also waxing, and makeup among other things.

"If you just go in there and tell them you want the works, you're liable to find yourself spending several hundreds of dollars, so you'll have to pick and chose. Have you thought about it?"

"Well, my hair of course, and maybe my nails, those salon nails you get always look nice, and these…"

"But salon nails are acrylic! That's why they look so nice! Do you have any idea what having acrylic nails means?"

"No, what the big deal? They're just plastic, like these; aren't they?"

"Not hardly! Salon nails are acrylic honey! They are molded to your own nails and fixed in place with some really good glue! That mean they don't come off, at least not very easily, so if you do get them, that would make it almost impossible for you to be a boy again, at least not very soon…is that what you want? Salon nails? So you'll have to be a girl longer?"

"Well…maybe, we did buy all those clothes, and you did say that I would have to be a girl full time, which means that I'll be wearing nothing but girls clothes, so, maybe, why not?"

"I didn't think that you would…what I mean is, if you do get salon nails, then you should think about the rest Susan! If you're willing to live as a girl then you should at least consider having them wax your arms and legs, just to cut down on all that shaving you'll have to do!"

"Mom" I said, "I'm not going anywhere near that place unless you tell me it's okay! You don't sound like you're against it, but you did say that you're not comfortable with me like this, so unless you say it's okay, and tell me right now, I'm done with this! We can take all this stuff back, then I'll call and cancel the date!"

"That would be fine with me honey, except I believe that you've already found out that you like to dress as a girl, which means that you'll probably do it again no matter what you might say right now!" Framing her face by putting her chin in her hands, "You know how I feel about this, so I'm not going to insist that you go ahead with a trip to the salon then out on a date, but if you don't, then how will you…what I'm trying to say is, there are boys out there that have become girls aren't there? How will we know if you are one of them or not unless you try this? Like I said, it's obvious, to me anyway, that you're starting to like being a girl, and it seems to me that this is your best chance to find out if that's true!"

"But I never did this before Tom asked me to that party mom! And dressing as a girl was your idea, remember?"

"True, but the fact remains that you like it, right?"

Mom left me nowhere to turn, leaving me with all those conflicting emotions. I didn't really think that I liked guys like a girl would, but she was right about one thing; I did like dressing as a girl, more than I should have I guess. If I got my hair done, a waxing, then salon nails, I knew, because she told me so, that I would be stuck as a girl for a good long while, unless I was willing to spend the hours needed to get them off. Having my hair done didn't seem so bad, I could always work around that, and not having any excess hair on my arms and legs wouldn't be so bad. It was that other thing. About boys becoming girls that bothered me. I never felt like I wanted to be a girl before, yet everything about it felt so…natural, like it was the most normal thing in the world for me to be dressed that way! We ate, then just before we were ready to leave I told mom that I was going to do it.

"What dear?"

"Have my hair done and get salon nails mom. If you're right, that I might be a…I have to know, and so do you! Right?"

"I suppose, but then, what about your chest? What are you going to do about that?!"

"What's wrong with what I have?"

"Because they don't react to your body quite the way…they look okay of course, but…maybe something else would be better, especially if you're sure about doing this! What about those breast forms women use when they have surgery? Don't they look almost normal?"

"I don't know mom, but they're expensive I'll bet."

"Then why don't we find out?"

That's when I finally asked mom straight out why she was helping me. "Why are you doing all this mom? I mean, I expected you to rant and rave about all this, not help me buy clothes!"

"Oh I wanted to rant a little, but you're to old for that aren't you? Am I happy to find out that you like to dress up as a girl, go on dates with boys and all that? No! Of course not! But you haven't ever had a date have you? What I mean is, and there isn't any way either of us can deny it, you really are quite pretty as a girl. I guess I didn't expect that, but…"

"I never was very masculine guy mom, I know it and so do you. I’m not saying that I want to be a girl, it's just that…I guess, when I found out that I'm better looking as a girl than a guy I was shocked, but I have to admit that I like the attention I'm getting! Nobody ever paid this much attention to me before, and if I have to play dress up to enjoy it, I guess I'll do just that, but I'm not sure about us. How you and I can manage."

"I'll manage just fine honey, you're the one that'll have to adjust! I'll be there to help you, but you got yourself into this mess, so you'll either find a way out or you won't!"

"Adjust?" I asked…

"Ever have to go to the bathroom real bad? For guys, it's in and out. Ever notice the long lines at the ladies room? I can hardly wait to see how you manage that!"

"I always thought it was because you all talked, touched up your makeup and like that!"

"Hardly!" mom snorted, "but you'll find out about those kind of things soon enough. Now then! Lets see what we can learn about breast forms."

We went to a place that sold breast forms for ladies that had had a mastectomy. The lady was very professional, and surprisingly, wasn't put off the slightest when she found out I was a boy. She was very efficient as she showed mom and I everything, from the cheapest to the best.

"If" the lady said, "you'll be wearing them every day, and it sounds like you will be, then our top of the line models will last longer, look better, and are the most natural. They cost a bit more, but they're worth it."

Mom agreed, then said that she would pay for them! After measuring me, the lady returned with a pair.

"These are a B cup, the same as the bra size you had on. Lets go ahead and try them with the bra on before we go any further."

After I tried them on and a few more measurements were taken, the lady made some adjustments, then used a really foul smelling glue to attach them to my chest. She took her time, making sure that the seams were as minor as possible, covering them with a cover stick before she told me to go ahead and put my bra back on. That's how I came to have them on my chest. Heavier than my bags of birdseed, both mom and the lady said that I would get used to them. With every step I could feel them, how they moved with me, and how they reacted to whatever I did. Even with the unfamiliar tugging on my chest, I'll admit that I felt much better wearing them.

"I have a friend" the lady said casually, "that sells things for boys that make them look like girls in other places. I understand that this item also helps in the hip department…if your interested that is."

Mom and I looked at each other, then took the information she offered. By the time we got home I was more than ready to take a really good look at my brand new boobs, which I did. They looked real enough to me, and I grinned at my reflection before I got dressed again. Later, when mom and I were putting things away, Katie stopped by, so the three of us went out back with a soda and sat on the patio.

"You look like the cat that got the extra milk Sue!"

"Katie" mom said, "I want to talk to you about what's going on, and I want you to pay very close attention to what I have to say. Okay?"

"Sure!" Katie said lightly.

"I'm not so sure that having my son dressing as a girl is such a good idea, however, I have agreed to let him try it, for a while anyway. As far as this date goes…"

Mom told her why she had agreed to let me do it, then made it very clear that she wasn't going to let Katie or anyone else put me into any situation that could hurt me. She also told Katie that if she were my friend, she would expect her to help me when I needed it.

"Can I count on all that Katie?"

"Sure! I never…what I mean is, I only asked Susan to do it because Jeff wanted to meet her! I never thought about making her do anything wrong, in fact, I told her that already!"

"I'm sure you did, I just wanted to make sure that you understand how I feel about this."

"I understand" Katie said, "I just stopped by to see if Sue might want to go out tonight, just her and I."

Mom said it was okay, so Katie and I left, going in her car. She and I went back to her house, then into her bedroom. After she shut the door, she asked me if something had changed, telling me that I somehow looked different, only she couldn't put her finger on it.

"It's my boobs" I told her, "I got new ones today."

"That's it! You're…rounder! More natural!" She flopped on her bed. "Jeff almost can't stand waiting for Saturday to get here Sue! I'll bet he's been playing with his toy just thinking about it!"

"Won't do him any good, I'm not…"

"Not what? A girl?" Katie actually laughed at me! "Lets think about that a minute. You're cute as hell, way better looking as a girl than any guy just dressing up as a girl has any right to expect! When you came over here all dressed up because you thought there was going to be a bunch of girls here, you looked just as normal as any girl I know, then you and your mom went out and bought those? Oh no. You like being a girl, so don't go there Susan, because I won't believe it, and I doubt you do either!"

"I'm not, I'm not sure that I like…"

"Boys? Might as well get used to it Sue, because I'm willing to bet that Jeff is going to be just the first in a long line of broken hearts!"

"But" I cried, "I can't, I'm not sure that I can do what you do!"

"And just what do you think I do? I'm not a whore Sue! Guys don't get into my pants! So just what is it that I do that you can't?"

"Kiss" I said sourly. "I'm not sure that I can kiss a guy."

"Easy! Just pucker up and let them have it! If it doesn't do anything for you, well, then you'll know, right?"

"I guess, but."

"No but's Sue! You have to start thinking like a girl, not just a guy in a dress, not if you want this to work, and I already know that you do, or you wouldn't have spent all that money on new boobs!"

Katie asked if I wanted to meet some of her other friends, then got on the phone and started to call around. About an hour later, five other girls were at her house. Jeannie I knew, the rest I had only seen around school. Katie introduced me, then we all went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Most wore jeans or shorts, only Katie and I wore skirts, but nobody said anything as we all sat at the table.

Cathy said "I hear you got a date with Jeff."

"Saturday" I said, "we're doubling with Katie and Tom for pizza."

"I've been trying to gets Tom's attention since fourth grade! No luck yet." Cathy sounded dejected.

"Try using better bait Cathy, Don't wear a bra!"

"Like I could get out of the house without one! My mom would freak out!"

"Get a push up bra" I suggested.

"And wear something low cut" added Rosie.

"Or get one of those new bikini's." Kim was giggling when she said it.

"You look sort of familiar Sue" Amanda said, "but not from school, I would know…"

"Maybe it's her cousin you know, They look a lot alike" Katie said suddenly. "Sue is spending the summer at his house while he's away for the summer."

"And she lands Jeff without any trouble at all!"

"You never had a chance Cathy, no boobs."

"But I have a fine ass!"

"So do I, and it hasn't done me any good either!"

"What are we going to do tonight" Jeannie wanted to know.

Everyone looked at everyone else, and one word came out…"shopping" they all said at the same time. Katie told everyone to be at her house at six, then after they left, she took me back home. It was enlightening to hear girls talk about themselves and boys like that, comparing themselves to each other and so on. I went to my room to take a shower and redo my makeup. When I was out of the bath, and before I got dressed, I dug out the paper I had downloaded that explained how to use tape to make a guy look like a girl. I sat on the bed, and started reading. Using my fingers I could push things together, but I couldn't manage to get the tape on, and after the third failed try, I knew that I would need help, but the only help around was my mother. If I was going out in a group of girls, I figured I had better look as much like them as possible, especially if I found myself trying things on! I hated doing it, but I called out to mom, who came in my room to see me hiding my very manly parts.

"Yes?"

"Uuuuhhh, I need some help mom."

"Doing what for heavens sake! You know how to dress yourself!"

"No, it's not that mom" I said softly, "it's…it's just that I'm going out shopping with some girls, friends of Katie's tonight, and I thought that it would be better if I looked like a girl all over, just in case! What if they want me to try on something that doesn't hide my…bump? I looked it up on the Internet and tried it, but I found out that I can't do it by myself! That's why I was wondering if you would…help me?" Then I showed her the sheet I had printed out.

"I see! So…now you want to look like a girl there too?"

"If I'm going to do this, wouldn't it be better if I didn't have any…so that I could…wear anything they do, without any accidental… excitements? And like I said, if I'm out with those girls shopping tonight, I might find myself trying things on, and I'd really rather be safe than sorry mom, that's all!"

"Well, okay, I guess, …let me read this first."

Mom read the instructions, huffed a few times, then…

"Are you sure about getting your hair and nails done?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, if we follow these instructions, but use something a bit…stronger than tape, I think that I can insure your safety for a few days. We'll use that same glue that lady used on your boobs!"

With my help, mom turned my boy parts into what looked almost like what a girl would have, only she did not use tape, she used that glue. When she was done, nothing hurt when I walked, then she told me to go in the bath and make sure I could eliminate. I could, so she left me to get dressed. It was very strange not to have to try and hide things, but I knew that I would be safe, and that was all that counted. Seeing my naked form in the mirror, all I could do was gasp at the changes that had happened to me in less than a week, and wondered once again why I had let it happen. Then I pulled on my panties and did my makeup. I wore a short skirt with a thin top, my flats, my hair down and basic makeup. Not over done at all. I went out, walked over to mom, and hugged her.

"Thanks mom."

"Do I have a daughter now?"

"A niece. Some of the girls thought I looked familiar, so Katie told them I was a cousin."

"Okay. Have a nice evening. Do you have some money?"

"I'm okay mom."

It was instructive, shopping with a horde of girls rather than mom. She was more deliberate, while every one of the girls was adventurous. Jeannie tried on some very sexy lingerie, and ended up buying it, Rosie looked at short skirts but held back. Katie got me to try on a nice dress, which I bought, then it was on to jewelry, shoes, lots of shoes, makeup, perfume and other stuff. Kim bought some shorts and shoes, Katie wanted new jeans, and I wanted to sit down and take a rest. By the time the mall closed they had completely accepted me as one of them, which was just what I needed if I had any chance of pulling this off. My poor ego needed a boost for sure. By the time I got home I was whipped, and quickly changed for bed. But if I thought it was exhilarating to be out with a bunch of girls, mom was about to raise the bar, except I didn't know that. The next morning…

"Since you seem to have committed yourself to this" she said slowly, "and while I'm still not sure that this is the right thing to do, I have decided that you were right. The only way to find out if this is just some kind of experiment is for you to go all out and become a girl in every way possible. So, right after you get dressed, we are going to the address the lady at the mastectomy shop gave us and get you fitted out. Then we'll go to the salon, just you and I, and you'll get the works! I'll feel much better being there with you rather than letting Katie convince you of something that I might not like. I'll pay for all this, but I'll expect you to keep it up after this, is that okay?"

"Sure mom."

"Good. Lets get your parts undone, then you can get dressed. Don't wear any makeup, they'll just wash it off anyway. Now go get dressed."

Getting fitted for that "other" special piece of equipment was just about the most embarrassing thing I had ever done, but when the guy was done, there wasn't any sign that I was a boy or ever had been! My hips were fuller, my butt rounder, and according to the guy, I was "fully functional" as a girl!

"If you want" the guy told mom and I, "using these will simulate a period." He put a handful on the counter, then…"use the lubricant before any romantic encounter, and I promise, nobody will ever know. I pride myself on my work, and always take special care to assure my clients full satisfaction. Call me if you have any problems Susan."

I thought I knew what to expect with that panty I had on, but after I found out that I could have periods, and even sex, I was at a total loss for words. Mom was smirking I think, but she didn't say a word as we drove over to the salon. I thought that I knew what "the works meant after mom explained it. Foolish me. I didn't have a real clue. First, they had me get down to my bra and panties, then they stripped off every bit of hair on both legs from my ankle to below my panty line! Then they did my arms, including my hands and armpits! Aching, I thought they were done, until she started on my face with a laser, removing all traces of my mustache and chin hairs before she started in on my throat, then reshaped my eyebrows. My skin was on fire, but the lady lied to me when she rubbed in a lotion of some kind which, she said, would ease the fire a little. That was a big fat lie. I hurt all over. Then she started putting a mud pack on my face! While that hardened, all I could do was lay there, and later, when she removed the mask, it came off with what sounded like a rip. That's when I knew that I was in a torture chamber masquerading as a salon! Still wearing the gown I was given to wear, I followed the lady out to another chair. Using a small stick and some goo, she trimmed my eyebrows again so they were thinner with more arch. Then came the hair styling.

"Your hair has an auburn cast in it honey, how about we try to match it? It'll look fantastic with your coloring!"

"Yeah, why not."

"How about some curls? Trust me. I can make you look just gorgeous honey!"

"Might as well" I said, already knowing I was already in way to deep to back out.

Two hours later I was sitting at the table as the nail lady started working on my hands. After she removed the fakes, she cleaned my nails and began applying the salon nails. By the time she was done, almost four hours had passed since I first walked in, and as I got dressed and saw my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but smile. I did not look like me in any way, except maybe height. My makeup was perfectly done, the nails just long enough to be feminine yet usable, my curly auburn hair fell around my face just right, and my skin was as smooth as any woman's, and even my face had a new smoothness! I waited until mom returned and paid the bill, but her first reaction when she saw me was one of stunned silence. On the way out…

"God! You look…simply gorgeous! I figured you would look better, but…this changes everything, doesn't it?"

"How?"

"You're not going to quit, not now, not after buying those boobs and that panty, and seeing how you look now, well, I'm willing to bet that you can't quit!"

"They did make me look pretty good, didn't they?"

"I'll say!"

As mom was driving, I noticed that we weren't headed home like I thought, so I asked where we were going.

"Okay, what's up mom? You got that look on your face again."

"I was just thinking" she said, "given how you've already gone well past being able to stop dressing as a girl, right away that is, and given how nice you look, I'm going to make sure that you have a drivers license in the name of Susan Elizabeth because I think it's time that you thought about the future honey. Becoming a girl is going to be expensive, and at the very least, until you get more of the things you'll need to have, you'll need to get a job! And since you've decided to be a girl, you'll have to have the proper identification to get a job!"

That's when I found out that I was taking my drivers test! Only I already had a drivers license! Mom had said it was for my own good. I knew she was right. When we were at the counter mom signed a paper swearing that I was her daughter, my name was Susan Elizabeth, and that I was 17. The woman looked up at me, smiled, then handed me the test. An hour later I walked out with a perfectly valid driver license in my girl name! That meant that according to the state, I was legally a female! Mom let me drive home, silent but with a smirk on her face.

"I was thinking" mom said, "that now is the time you and Tom had a long talk. You said he owes you, so call him, have him come over, then make him pay up!"

As soon as we got home, I called Tom, asked him to come over, then went to my room and touched up my lipstick. I briefly thought about changing into something that would show off my new boobs, but decided that I didn't need to do that. I went to the kitchen, got a soda, and sat waiting for him to arrive, and when he did, I opened the door to let him in. When he saw me his eyes almost bugged out.

"Damn!"

"Like it? I had it done this morning!"

"Wow!"

"I'll take that as a yes. Come in, lets sit down."

Once we sat down, I told him that I needed a job, and gently reminded him that he owed me.

"You aahhh…going to work, like that?"

"Sure! Why not? Don't I look good enough?"

"Hell yes! You look great! It's just that…well…" That's when I handed him my new driver license. "That's you! Is this the real deal?"

"Yeah; mom and I went there this morning, I took the test, and voila! They said I was a girl, and now I can prove I am! Neat! Isn't it?"

"Aahhh…What are you doing!? I mean, you look fantastic and all that, but…what the hell is going on?! A valid drivers license? As a girl? That can only mean one thing! That you're going to…..become a girl?!"

"It turns out that I not only look better as a girl, I sort of like it! So…yeah, why not?"

"No reason I guess, it's just so…different I guess!"

"Aren't you the one that asked me to do this for you? So you could ask Katie out? You must have somehow known, even then, that I was good at it, or maybe wanted to, or you wouldn't have asked me to keep doing it! Now, how about it? Can I get a job with your dad?"

"Yeah. Let me call him. Hand me your drivers license."

Tom made the call, gave his dad some information, then looked up at me grinning. Then he told me that his dad wanted to meet me, so if I had the time, he would take me over to his house, and bring me back home later. I told mom I was leaving, grabbed my purse, and followed Tom out to the car.

"Your dad doesn't know does he? About me I mean?"

"Nah, he only knows your name. Relax! You'll be fine!"

"When are you and Jeff picking me up?"

"Six. We'll have something to eat and maybe a show later?"

"Jeff doesn't know Tom, and I don't want him or anyone else to find out, okay?"

"Sure...of course."

Tom's dad was very nice, but as we sat and talked I saw and felt his dad's eyes roaming all over me, a very strange sensation, yet he was always polite, and he gave me a job starting the following Monday as a clerk. When Tom took me home, he reminded me that they would be over at six to get me. I changed into a dress, then sat nervously waiting to go on my first date. Right on time, Jeff was all grins when I let him take me to the car. Tom and Katie weren't there, so I asked why. Jeff told me they were going to meet us. My first thought was that it was fine, then I realized that with only Jeff and I in the car, he might not be quite as shy as Katie said he was!

We had our pizza, went to the show, and on the way home, Jeff asked me out again. By the time we were parked in front of my house, I was ready for what I knew I had to do, and let him kiss me. Then, just as I went in, I said "yes" to his invitation for another date and ran inside. That night as I lay in bed my hand fell to my groin, and as I fingered the changes, I had a serious case of the doubts as I wondered just how long I could manage to keep up the charade. The feeling passed and I began to relax as I once again accepted what I felt inside was the truth. I saw Jeff the next afternoon, we went for a short drive, then I called Katie when I got home. Bubbly as always, she wanted all the gossip, but I held back a few things, although I did tell her that I was starting work at Tom's dad's place on Monday.

The night before I was to report to work, I once again found myself wondering if I had finally gone insane, especially after I looked in the mirror and saw my face covered in green, a home facial I was using. I was wearing a flannel nightgown, my hair was in rollers, and fuzzy blue slippers to keep my feet warm! In the past I had teased mom about doing the very same thing, yet there I was, spending hours trying to look pretty! I know that mom was holding it in, her giggle I mean.

"I seem to remember you teasing me about doing the same thing you're doing" mom said with a grin.

"Yeah, but now…"

"Remember what I said about adjusting?"

"Yeah…?"

"How's it going?"

I grinned back at her and said nothing because there wasn't anything I could say. In the morning I wore a nice skirt and blouse with low heels when I reported for work, assigned to taking care of the inventory tracking system, replacing a woman that had quit to have a baby.

Day by day, living and working as a girl simply became normal. Not one person in the office had a clue that I was a boy, and I was accepted by everyone as just one of the girls. I passed on my first year of college and kept working, saving my money until I could finally start taking the medications to help me gain the actual body I had come to realize I needed, and wanted. Jeff and I broke up, Tom kept my secret, and Katie and I have become very close, almost like sisters. Mom has started dating a fellow that treats her like a queen, so I know that it won't be long before I'll have a new dad, and be moving out to my own apartment. Life is good.