College Girl

By poetheather

Chap 1

My curiosity and sense of humor get the best of me every once in a while, and some of what amuses me often leads me into trouble. This was most definitely one of those times.

I have always been one for equality, you know no exclusive clubs or organizations or groups. So I wanted to get into one of these exclusive clubs and change things around. I was of the opinion that this course of action was all for the good. But things don’t always work out they way you plan them.

I had just graduated High School and was getting ready to head to the state university. My eighteenth birthday had passed and I was still hoping to start shaving, or at least to start growing a goatee for college. If my voice managed to cooperate I could start to sound manly as well. Muscle development was also lagging behind as well, so no intramural sports for me. This was all due to my lovely, quirky genetic heritage. Late onset puberty was rather disconcerting in high school but thankfully some of my friends turned some of the assholes aside. That had at least made life bearable.
In a way, I felt like Davy Jones of the Monkeys who started shaving and all of that fun in his thirties. My dad had started full puberty in his late twenties. All he had prior was downy pubic hair, peach fuzz on his cheeks and a somewhat more adult penis. He had let me know all of this before he had died. Kind of a what to look forward to speech.

My luck with women was also only bearable. I’d been on a few dates but not much had come of them. Perhaps my own appearance had something to do with it. . I had shoulder length sandy blond hair that just kind of sat there, hazel eyes and just dressed for comfort. Add to that the fact that I still looked more like a junior high school kid than a near adult and it might make some sense. I knew I was not some gorgeous hunk or some such nonsense, but I was getting used to it. It was not very comfortable, but you can get used to anything over time.

So keeping all of these things in mind I approached my latest venture.

I thought it would be a good little fight if I tried to get into a Sorority. Naturally they would try to bar a man from entering and I could push the issue for a certain amusement value. My father’s inheritance could help me fund such a thing. I wrote off to the Sorority I had chosen and requested some information on their Fall Rush; including the dress code necessary. I smirked to myself at the thought. This would be fun.

I also had a good friend who also lived in the city and went to the University as well. Rebecca had been there about a year already. I was going to stay with her while I hunted for an apartment and made my first contacts with the sorority. It had been her name and address I had used to gather my initial information. I packed my bags and set out on this grand adventure.

* * * * * * * * * * *

The city was very nice. It had been built among slight rolling hills with trees everywhere and a river running through it. All very nice and what you might expect from a college town. I pulled up to Rebecca’s apartment in my Volkswagen Jetta, my mother’s graduation present to me. I carried my bags up to her apartment and went through the mail that had arrived from the sorority. It gave plenty of descriptions of what Rush week would entail. It took place before classes started so as to not interfere with studying. Rebecca chuckled as she saw me go through the mail. “So Richard, you are really going to do this?”

“Sure Becca, why not? It sounds fun and it will be amusing.” I was kind of confused by her stance.

“Well, they are nice girls. They are not as stuck up as some of the other Sor Whores out there. I don’t want to see you actually hurt them.”

“Hurt them? How would I do that? All I am going to do is try to make it in to the Sorority, not do something mean. Besides, you know how I feel about some of these groups.”

“I know Richard. I’ll do what I can to help, I told you I would. You know me, I get worried about you.” She smiled her lopsided smile at me.

She and I had become friends in junior high after an attempt at dating. After the ‘can’t we be friends’ speech we actually did that. She had helped keep me safe through High School. Her being a year ahead of me didn’t hurt.

“Thanks Becca. I can’t tell you how much this means to me.” I hugged her. “Well, I should get my first meeting with them started so we can see how this plays out. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back.”

I went downstairs and headed to the house to talk my way in. This would, no doubt, keep me chuckling for years.

The house was so impressive. It was a huge three-story plantation style mansion in white with a darker wood trim about. The Greek letters were in the middle of the well-groomed lawn in various colored flowers. The whole thing was really very pretty.
I went up to the door and rang the bell, checking to make sure I didn’t look too wrinkled, in my white dress shirt and blue jeans. I tugged on my ponytail to make sure it held. I needed to play this right if it was going to work.

After a short wait a young woman with blue eyes and sandy blond hair wearing jeans and a nice blouse answered the door. “Yes, can I help you?”

I smiled as nicely as I knew how. “ Yes, I would like to speak with the President of the house and the Rush Chairwoman if it is at all possible.”

Research had always done some good things for me in the past. Now it had let me know the power structure of the house and who it was I really needed to talk to.
“Certainly. Please come inside and have a seat while I get them, Mr. …?”

“Richard O’Rourke.”

“Mr. O’Rourke. I’ll be right back.” She led me to a sitting room just inside the foyer. It was beautifully decorated, with nice wallpaper and fresh flowers. The chair I sat in was quite comfortable. Obviously this particular Sorority was doing quite well.
Again I did not have to wait very long, as a few minutes later in walked two quite striking women, one with brown hair in a sundress and the other with black hair in jeans and a t-shirt. The brown haired one spoke first. “Hello, I’m Sandra Gray, President of this Sorority and this is Nadia Grunwald, our Rush Chair. I was told that you wanted to speak with us?”

I shook their hands politely as the introduced themselves. “Yes. My name is Richard O’Rourke. It is a pleasure to meet you both.”

We all sat down. They looked curiously at me, hoping to get some idea as to what I wanted. “The reason I am here is this; I would like to join your Sorority. I wish to so as that I consider it a form of bias, not seriously considering and accepting all who apply for an organization. I am very serious about wanting to join your sorority and will do what ever I need to for you to let me join.”

They both sat back looking amused. I was sure I would be shot down at this point and I could move on to the next phase of my plan. However, my plan did not exactly go as planned.

“Let me get this straight Mr. O’Rourke. You want to join our Sorority, even though it is a woman’s only organization, and you are willing to do anything to do so? Is that correct?” asked Miss Gray, calmly.

“Yes. I will do whatever I have to in order to join.”

Miss Grunwald slid forward with an intense look in her eyes. “Due to the way you phrased this and the way you are doing this, I assume you have prepared a suitable legal response should we just dismiss your request.”

I nodded slowly. She was really astute. That fact itself made me a bit worried. “Yes I have, should I need to.”

Miss Gray’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully. “Well then, in order to avoid any legal problems, let us take you seriously then.”

The two of them spent the next half-hour effectively interrogating me. By the end of that time I think they had gotten each piece of information they wanted out of me. I felt wrung out and worried.

“Now Richard, you know we have a dress code for our pledges, which includes skirts and dresses?” asked Miss Grunwald.

“Yes, I am aware of that. Like I said earlier, I will do whatever I have to in order to make it in.”

“If we decide to let you in you would have to abide by our houses codes and not make us look foolish. If you join, you would need to bring honor to our house. Can you honestly say that this idea of yours will bring honor to our house?” This was from Miss Gray, who looked piercingly at me.

I boldly drove on, feeling that I could actually pull this off. “Whatever I had to do to get in and to bring honor to this house would be fine with me.”

“Even if it meant that you would have to look like a Sorority girl? All the time?” asked Miss Gray, raising one eyebrow questioningly.

“Sure. If that’s all it took, wear dresses and skirts, so be it. I am seriously considering this. It is not some sort of joke.”

“Well, thank you for your time Richard. Let us speak to the ladies of the house and we will take a vote. I will also need to get approval from National if the ladies decide to let you try. I will call you in a day or two. Good day.”

I was seen out of the house and stood there as the door closed behind me. I left the house smiling. This was certainly turning out better than I thought it would. If they had to put it to a vote, there was no way they would actually vote for this. I returned to Rebecca’s apartment whistling.

Rebecca was waiting for me. “So how did it go?”

“Pretty good. They took me fairly seriously and are going to put it to a vote. I should hear back in a day or two.” I beamed.

“What are you going to do if they say yes?”

“Join. It can’t be that bad.”

“Even if it means dressing like a girl?” She cocked her head at me.

“Sure. Remember my outfit for Halloween in my junior year. I looked fairly believable according to you. And it should only be for functions and the like. Otherwise I’ll be me.”

“Alright. I just don’t want you to get in over your head.”

“I won’t. Like they’re going to even do this. So where would you like to go eat?”

Three days later I got called back. I had been thinking that they might not even call me and so I was actually getting the paperwork together for the next step when the phone rang. I answered it. “Hello?”

“Richard? This is Nadia Grunwald, the Rush Chair. I suppose you have been waiting for this call. I am sorry it took longer than we thought.”

“No problem.”

“Before I can tell you anything I need an answer to this question: You will do anything to join the house and to bring honor to it? I must advise you that this call is being recorded.”

A very smart legal move on her part, my answer would be evidence should we have to go to court over this. “As I said at our meeting, yes. Anything.”

“ Alright. Now if you are not busy could you come by the house?”

“Certainly. I will be there in about twenty minutes.”

I left Rebecca a note as to what was going on and I drove over there with some trepidation. Was this actually going to work? And if so what had my answer gotten me into?

I parked my car and walked up towards the door, wiping my now sweaty hands on my pants nervously. I was ushered into the house after I rang the bell. The same blonde girl answered and led me to the sitting room again. Miss Gray and Miss Grunwald were waiting for me. I took the offered seat nervously.

Sandra Gray’s smile was genuinely evil. “Well, Mr. O’Rourke, it looks as if you may get what you want. The ladies voted and decided to provisionally accept you. We also got National approval so as to avoid any legal annoyance or undue attention. Besides, after you hear the proposal it is doubtful that you will want to stay.”

They had accepted me?! Provisionally of course, but they had said yes. I had to hear the conditions first, even though a sense of dread filled me. “And these conditions are?”

“While you are a pledge and while you are here at this University you will live, look and act like a woman, as all in this house are supposed to be ladies. Should you agree, you will live in this house under close supervision, at least for the first year and tutored in the ways of being a lady. You will be a lady! Anything that the ladies of the house feel are necessary to accomplish this task will be done. These are the conditions of your admission and by your own admission on tape you said you would do what ever was necessary to become one of the sisters of this house.” Sandra sat back into her chair looking smug. The literal cat who ate the canary. Who would possibly take them up under those conditions?

I sat back as well and thought it over. What did I have to lose? I was sure I could make my mom understand the why and the how of this. She always said she just wanted me to be happy. My dad was dead, so there was no need to worry about him taking it poorly. Rebecca would laugh at me for getting caught in my own plot, but that was fine. Besides a yes would knock that smug smile from Miss Gray’s face. A yes would be the last thing they would be expecting. Surely, no man would actually take this seriously. “If that is what it takes, alright. I said I was serious.”

Again, I had miss judged the situation, and the effect that I thought would happen didn’t. The two women looked at each other and grinned even broader. “We hoped you would say that.” Replied Nadia.

I got really worried at that point. What had I done to myself this time? My beautiful plan to harass a Sorority turned and bit me in the proverbial ass. The two ladies stood and gestured to the door. “Shall we Richard?”

I stood and followed the two women deeper into the house, realizing that I may have trapped myself in this by means of my own cleverness. I was sure I could quit at any time during this but that may have been something they were counting on. Surely one of them would develop a problem with this as it went along. I would go through with this come what may.

We walked through the house, back into what must have been their meeting room. There were about thirty women in there all seated like some sort of tribunal. Sandra and Nadia let me in front of them. I stood there, trying to look calm but more probably like a scared rabbit. Sandra addressed them all, with both of her hands on my shoulders. “Sisters, let me introduce the subject of our discussions, Richard O’Rourke, our newest pledge and our special project. Richard, these are the women who might someday become your sisters, if you don’t quit.”

I smiled and felt all their eyes weighing me, trying to find out what kind of a nut I was.
“Well, ladies, let’s have lunch. Those of you who are to take charge of Richard come on over.” Four of the women came over and joined Sandra and Nadia. The seven of us walked to a table and took food from the family style service.

“Now Richard let me introduce you to those who will be working with you. First off, is Gwen,” she pointed to a brunette with bright blue eyes and a great figure. “She will be your roommate and nominally in charge of you while you are with us. She will help you in school and in becoming a woman. Meredith here will be working on getting you to look right. She is a theatre make-up major.”

The blonde who had let me in smiled at me, cute dimples. Sandra then gestured to an Asian girl with raven black hair braided tightly. “This is Anne. She is going to help you sound like a woman. She is a speech therapist in training. And this is Rebecca. She is Nadia’s Vice Rush Chair. Those two will teach you all you need to know to become a sister of the house. The rest of us will correct your actions until you blend in perfectly. Now Richard, you this means your time here will all be done looking, acting, and sounding like a woman? No guy stuff. As a pledge you will basically have to do as you are told until you become a sister. One last time, to join this sorority you will have to all but become a woman, as we will do whatever we must to make you appear as a woman so our house will not have shame brought upon it. Are you still willing?”

After the introductions and being told the extent to which this went I almost said no. I mean why would I want to go through school as a woman? I was a guy. But I had decided that a guy joining a sorority would be of some amusement value, besides all I would be doing is acting a part. I had never acted before, but I could do this. “Yes. I am still willing Sandra.”

“Good. Well, you can’t be Richard if you are a college girl. So we need to give you a new name.” She responded.

“Uh…I don’t think I had thought through that part yet.” A new name?

“Well, we did. Caitlin Deirdre O’Rourke. Cait for short. You will need to learn it so you react to it as if it were your own, which it now is.”

“Caitlin? Uh…that’s… nice… I think.” What? That was a really girly name. Why couldn’t they have done something with my own name? Surely there was a girly sounding version of Richard?

Gwen laughed. “Richard doesn’t like it. Pay up Merri, I win.”

Meredith fumed a little and began to dig into her purse. I blurted out, “No, the name is fine. I just… never have been called anything like that. I’m trying to get used to all of this. It is going a lot faster than I had expected.”

Meredith laughed this time. “Hah, I knew he hadn’t really thought this through all the way. Pay up Nadia.”

Now it was Nadia’s turn to grumble and dig out some money. She handed a five over to Meredith who was now clutching ten dollars and chuckling happily. Sandra just shook her head. “You two would think you would have learned by now. No one has ever won a bet against Merri yet.”

Richard smiled. He was probably going to like these people, especially Meredith. She seemed to be his kind of weird.

“Well, Caitlin, I’ll leave you in the good care of these ladies. They will be able to take care of all of the necessary arrangements. You move in tonight. There is a lot to do get you ready for both school and Rush week. You only have three weeks till Rush week. Work hard.” With that Sandra, Nadia and Rebecca got up and left the table.
Meredith smiled at me brightly. “Well Caitlin, who used to be Richard, let’s go up to your room and get down to work.”

Gwen, Meredith and I took the back stairway up to the third floor to the room I was going to be living in. When we got there Gwen opened the door and let me walk in first. The room was all bright colors and flowers. It was a very feminine room, what with all the stuffed animals on the bed and posters of both unicorns and nearly naked men.

College Girl
By poetheather

Chap 2

Gwen, Meredith and I took the back stairway up to the third floor to the room I was going to be living in. When we got there Gwen opened the door and let me walk in first. The room was all bright colors and flowers. It was a very feminine room, what with all the stuffed animals on the bed and posters of both unicorns and nearly naked men. On the opposite side of the room was an empty bed, dresser and a desk. Meredith disappeared as Gwen gave me the 50-cent tour, but she did return quickly with a bag weighted down with stuff. She set it down and pulled out a clipboard and a measuring tape. “Right. Okay Caitlin, I need you to undress so I can take your measurements. All the way to your BVD’s. I got a rough idea of your sizes when we first met but I want to be accurate.”

I nodded and undressed rather shyly. I had never been talked to this way by a woman before and it was odd. She handed the clipboard to Gwen who looked me up and down appraisingly. Meredith quickly and efficiently took my measurements and had Gwen write them down. She looked at me with a rather calculating eye. I felt like a bug pinned under her gaze. She looked me up and down slowly, checking the numbers Gwen put down on the clipboard. Finally she nodded her head, satisfied. “Well, your measurements aren’t bad. They are within the range of some women. I can work with them. Your hair is long enough that we can get it styled nicely. That will help frame your face well. I can get your colors later. I think we will get your hair dyed.”
She scribbled some as I stood there with my hands over my still mostly unchanged groin. “Uh…Meredith? Can I get dressed?”

“What? Oh…sure. Sorry.” As I pulled on my clothes she continued. “All right Caitlin let me tell you today’s schedule. We will drop by your friends place and get your stuff. Some of the other sisters are going to be coming with us if there are more than just a few bags. Then it is off to get your body hair removed. That appointment is a three and then after that we go to the hairdressers to get your hair styled. We will get you dressed after the hair removal appointment. You may not need it though. We’ll see. Ready?”

“Sure.” I didn’t feel that way at all.

Faster than I imagined I was being ushered into a plastic surgeons office. My stuff had been picked up and I had left a note to Becca. That was all I had had time to do. Now I was quickly ushered into a private room and told to undress completely. A slightly older woman came in and hugged Meredith. “Hi Sis, is this the one?”
“Yep. This is Richard, lately renamed Caitlin. She is going to be joining the Sorority, maybe.”

Meredith’s sister looked my body over carefully. “So, what do want to get done? I assumed legs, chest, abs, face and bikini area.”

“Yep. The works. Add the arms as well.” She smiled wickedly.

“Okay. So Caitlin, how often do you need to shave?”

“I’ve been waiting to. All I got is this really fine downy peach fuzz that isn’t even noticeable enough to shave.”

“Hmn. Interesting. Merri, he doesn’t need any treatments right now. Dressed right he would merely look like a tomboy or a really young lesbian. If we really wanted to go for permanent hair removal I would suggest the laser. On his…her skin it would work really well. If you wanted something done now I would suggest waxing. I got some ready.”

“Could you? Gwen and I needed to run a quick errand, as we thought he might be here a while. Please?” She batted her eyes at her older sister, giving her the cute puppy look.

“Fine. Leave Richard with me. I’ll take care of him. Besides, it will take a while to get him done with the wax. I wouldn’t want to give him a burn.”

“Okay. Caitlin, you be good and nice to my sister. Gwen and I will be back in about what? An hour?” Meredith’s sister nodded. “Bye Caitlin.”

With that I was alone with her sister. So looked at me and cocked her head. “So how did you manage to get yourself into this one?”

“Didn’t Meredith tell you?” I blurted out.

“Yep. But that still doesn’t answer my question. What motivated you to do this?”

“I thought it would be funny, at least to me.” I replied, rather embarrassed.

“Well, it looks like the joke is on you. So you are going to go through with all of this?”

“I guess so. If I quit I give them what they want and I got nothing out of it. So I might as well give it a go. I don’t see how it can hurt?” It was the best defense I could do at this point.

“Well, let’s get started.”

The wax was put on my body a section at a time and then torn off. After a ten-minute period she took a break and let me recuperate. In Meredith’s idea of a cute joke her sister had given me a cute heart shape for what was left of my fine pubic hair. Once she was done she had me rinse off in the shower. The warm water felt really different on my now bare skin.

After I got out I was given some body lotion. I rubbed it all over my body. The lotion was cool and made my skin feel silky. My body felt cooler. I had never been very hairy and I now I was even less so. My body was quite naked now.

Over an hour had passed while I was in the care of Meredith’s sister. Meredith and Gwen returned as I was running my hands over my now smooth skin. They both smiled as they watched me. Merri brought me back to reality however. “Caitlin? Richard?! Are you ready to get dressed?”

The question sounded innocuous, but in relation to my new femininely smooth body it began to occur to me just how serious these ladies were about this. I really got myself this time. I swallowed loudly. “Yes, I am.”

“Given the measurements, we bought you some things in your size. Only some. We’ll go shopping later. Now let’s get you ready.” Meredith reached into the bag she had brought from her room and pulled out a box and a tube of something. She opened the box and there were two flesh colored teardrop shapes. She reached in and pulled out a breast.

My eyes must have bulged a bit. I stared at the breast she held in her hand as she walked closer as if it were a snake. “What is that?”

“This, my dear Caitlin, is your right breast. I made them in one of my theatre make-up classes. When worn they are about as life like as can be made. They are attached with surgical adhesive. You can leave them on for several days at a time, shower, do sports, everything. They move like the real thing. I’m glad I still had these. They took me over a week to make and finish. The guy, who tested them for me played basketball, swam a mile, ran a mile and even had sex with them on. And they didn’t come off. Don’t worry about temp. They warm to your skin temperature in about twenty minutes. Now let me get them on you and smooth the edges.”

She applied the glue to the back of the breast and moved the skin of my chest, pulling it towards my sternum. The glue was cold against my skin as she placed the form and quickly adjusted it. She did the same with the other one and then smoothed out the edges with a little bit of makeup on her finger. The edges disappeared magically.
The new weight pulled me forward. I had some trouble standing straight as I was trying to compensate for new weight on me. Gwen pulled me up and rocked my shoulders back. It helped but the weight felt weird. Looking down and seeing two breasts, with dark nipples and areolas on myself was way beyond weird. Gwen tapped me on the shoulder, bringing me back to the real world. “Caitlin. These are for you.”

In her hand was a white bra and panty set, with just a little lace. The bra was a thirty-four B I noted with some dismay. This was all a little disconcerting. Gwen helped me get it on and set my breasts into it, adjusting it till it set right. The snug fit of the bra helped me keep my shoulders back and it did support me well. It felt really different. I had never worn anything like it. Then came the panties.
I pulled them up my smooth legs, but the bulge in front didn’t look quite right. Meredith and Gwen both tsked at me. “Caitlin, that doesn’t look right. You need to tuck your testicles up inside and fold your penis back and under.”

I did as instructed, pushing my testicles up into my body. The feeling was uncomfortable. Then I pulled my penis back under me and pulled up the panties. There was no bulge, only a smooth curve where the bulge used to be. I moved my hands over the now smooth area. Gwen coughed and I looked up towards her.

She was standing by a full-length mirror I had looked at my hairless self earlier in. I saw the new reflection of me. With my bare skin, breasts and tucked self I looked female from the neck down. My face was familiar, but my body was now a stranger. I looked away and Meredith and Gwen were smiling at each other. Gwen was the first to break the silence. “I really think this will work.”

Meredith chuckled. “Was there any doubt? I told you it would work. Now we need to get you dressed and do your face. Here put these on."

She handed me a knee length blue skirt, a white t-shirt decorated with blue and yellow flowers and a pair of blue flats. As I was pulling those on she got out a small tackle box and opened it up. She had me sit down after I dressed and pulled my hair into a ponytail as Gwen pushed my knees together. “Remember, you’re a girl now Richard. Try not to flash anyone.”

Meredith busied herself making me up, applying all sorts of things to my face. I was basically numb from all the changes wrought by this joke I had planned. It had definitely had been turned back onto me. She stepped back and appraised me. “Well, you look fine to me. Your lack of an Adam’s apple helps a lot. What do you think Gwen?”

“Merri, I would never have believed that you could turn a guy into a girl in just a few hours. That is just incredible. And she doesn’t look like she is really wearing any make-up.” Gwen replied hesitantly, peering at my face intently.

They both moved aside and now even my face was no longer familiar. Where I know I was sitting sat a young woman, very lightly made up and looking cute. My eyes widened in shock. I sat there staring at myself while the other two packed up. Finally the two ladies grabbed me and pulled me to my feet, dragging me out of the building, pausing long enough to say their goodbyes.

As we pulled out of the parking lot Gwen turned and looked at me. “You know Richard, you don’t look like a guy anymore so…I think you need to accept your new name and get used to it.”

“I’m going to try, but this has been all so sudden. This morning I knew who I was and now…? A new name, a new face, a new body. I’m a guy, a man, not a woman.” I sounded a little tightly strung as I talked.

Gwen reached out and took my hand in hers. “I think you will like being a woman. It will be different, difficult at times, but you will learn. And besides we will all be helping you. When we are done, you will be more woman than some females. If you don’t want to do this you don’t have to.”

I looked into her warm eyes and noticed that Merri was looking at me in the mirror. Her eyes smiled at me before returning to the road. I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I’m trying. It is just so different. But yes, I want to do this.”

Meredith chimed in at this point. “Great. Now lets get your hair and nails done.”
We pulled into the parking lot of the beauty parlor and went on in. We checked in and sat, while the woman who was going to style my hair finished with another customer. As we flipped through magazines of various haircuts Nadia leaned over and whispered. “Keep your voice soft and act shy. We’ll take care of everything. Trust us.”

This was good as I was slowly building up to a level of panic. I was sure people could see right through the clothes and the makeup and knew I was a guy. It didn’t matter that I could barely tell, I was sure they were much more astute.

Gwen picked out a style that kept my hair long, gave me bangs and was straight. Meredith looked at me, then at the picture and nodded. “This one can be turned into a lot of things: braided, pulled up, curled. Good choice.”

The stylist finished up and called us over. Gwen jumped in, obviously thinking quickly. “This is a friend of mine, Caitlin. You have got to save her hair. We thought this would be a good, basic style to start with. And then a French manicure. Anything to get away from the whole Goth look. No arguments from you Cait, you said you would wait until we were done.”

Meredith chimed in at this point. “And while you’re at it could you dye it red?”

The stylist clucked over me and washed and conditioned my hair. Her hands massaging my hair felt wonderful and much of the stress and shock left me as I began to relax. The warm water soothed my confusion. As she began to cut my hair I looked into my new face. There was confusion there to be sure but the sense of familiarity returned as I sat there and relearned myself. I looked different but I was still me. I answered questions non-commit ally in the soft, shy voice that Gwen had told me to use. Meredith and Gwen chatted with the stylist, fending off a wide barrage of questions.

Once she was done cutting she dyed my hair, painting on the color. My head tingled and itched a little as the dye did its work. Fifteen minutes later she was washing it out and finishing up my hair.

I looked at myself, as my now even more feminine face looked back at me. How I looked really intrigued me and I wondered if I could learn to be a woman. All ready Meredith had taken a plain eighteen year old boy and turned him into a fairly attractive woman. What more could be done in time? I asked myself if I really wanted to keep going.

Soon the stylist finished up. As I refocused from my introspection I realized that there was very little masculinity left in my appearance. My once lifeless hair was softly curled at the bottom, just brushing my shoulders. My bangs hung just over my plucked thin eyebrows. Meredith had done her job exceptionally well. My face was still alien to me, what with the red hair and the new style and everything.

I was ushered over to a little table for my manicure. I sat through it in a daze. Soon my hands were graced with nails that were white tipped which made my hands appear to be delicate. I knew they weren’t, but my eyes deceived me again. After this we were on our way out and back to the house.

“Well Caitlin, like your hair and nails? I hope so. This day cost me a fair amount.” Teased Meredith.

“I’ll pay you back. I get a stipend from my inheritance and I have a gold card, which I’ve barely used. So paying you back shouldn’t be difficult.” I smiled as I said that, trying to keep my voice soft.

“That will make the rest of the shopping easier. You need to get stuff for your room, clothes, jewelry, shoes, you know stuff.” Remarked Gwen. “That will be on the agenda tomorrow afternoon and for a while thereafter, as you definitely need to learn how to shop.”

“Meredith, I just wanted you to know that what you have done with me is incredible. I can’t even begin to imagine the difficulty in doing this.”

“It’s not that much Caitlin. I’ve been doing stage makeup since I was in high school. I went to cosmetology school for a bit to get that side of the makeup down. I learned the basics of prose tics from a good friend of mine who was into Fangoria magazine. The breasts and all the prep work to do were done for a specialty makeup class. I just took a few larger steps in getting you ready. The hair removal and having your hair styled was about the only modifications I made to my original plan. We still need to work on your figure, so aerobics and diet for you, so hopefully we won’t need any other padding. If we can keep you as really you as possible it will make it easier on you. And more believable in the long run.”

I nodded my head. “So what is next, in this transformation?”

“Well, after dinner we were going to pierce your ears and relax. Get to know the girls and for them to get to know you.” Responded Gwen. “It will take time, for you to be accepted by everyone, but it will happen. The sisters of the house all agreed to take you in, provided you did this.”

“I told Sandra that I would do whatever I had to to get in. I think I am proving that.”

“We’ll see. It will get harder.” Stated Meredith. “This is actually just the start of all of this. We are going to change you a lot by the time you are done with all of this. The physical part is just the fastest and the easiest.”

Gwen joined in after her. “You have a lot to learn to be a woman, Caitlin. There is how to talk, dress, act, and think. All sorts of little things. Time will be able to do that. You are in immersion learning now. That is why we did it this way. We are going to treat you like a woman in all ways that matter, save physical. You set yourself up for a difficult time with this idea of yours. You are in and this is all up to you now.”

“I’ll do what I can to learn all I need as fast as I can. I promise. I guess I really didn’t think all of this through.” I promised.

Meredith laughed at that. “Yes you did. You just didn’t expect that someone would call you on this and make you do it. You underestimated the sisters. And now you are being shown the error of your ways.”

This was getting interesting to be sure, but it was also very disturbing as well. I was a guy but they had effectively changed that in only a few hours. Visually I looked totally different. What would happen if I stayed with this?

College Girl
Chapter 3
by poetheather

We returned to the house and I took my suitcases upstairs with Gwen helping me. The rest of my bags of stuff were already there. We laid out my stuff on the bed and started to go through it. Nadia, the Rush Chair, showed up and helped us, making statements about Meredith’s work throughout.

Very few of my clothes survived the purge, mostly some sweaters and a few of my flannel shirts. All stuff that was deemed too masculine was packed back up and taken down to storage. Even my luggage was sent down. I was left with almost nothing of my old life.

Dinner went well; all of the ladies came up and introduced themselves, congratulating Meredith on a job extremely well done. My appearance seemed to settle some of the discomfort in a few of the ladies. Everyone approved of my new name and agreed that it was much more feminine than Richard. I tried to keep from causing any disturbances and Gwen helped deflect any near disasters on my part, by jostling me in the ribs to get me to shut up. It worked pretty well. I only hoped that I didn’t have any bruises.

Meredith and Gwen took me upstairs after a while. I was actually relieved. Gwen smiled brightly at me. “Not bad for less than a day as a woman, Caitlin. However there is still a ways to go.”

My shoulders slumped a little at that. Just how much did I have to do to give the illusion of womanhood? Meredith laid a hand on my shoulder and gave me an encouraging smile. “Caitlin, don’t get discouraged. You have not been at this too long. Remember you will get plenty of practice and I will help you go from Richard to Caitlin, as will everyone in this house. It’s a process, just like creating a character for a play. Only this play will last you a bit longer than expected.”

“I’ve never made a character for a play. I have no idea what to do. Give me some ideas? Please?” If I was going to succeed in this I had to do whatever I had to to be believed. I could do this and some help would make it easier. Better to reach out to those who planned on helping me rather than not.

“Well, my plan for you, when Sandra told me this idea, when you first brought this up to her, was fairly easy. I mean Sandra wanted to know if it was even possible. What I told her was this. We get you to look and dress as a woman. We then work on making you talk like a woman, move like a woman and try to think like a woman. The plan at this stage is simple; you are going to be surrounded by feminine things until Rush week in three weeks. Twenty-four, seven immersion in being a woman. That will allow you to go to class without being caught. So we will buy you skirts, dresses, jewelry, shoes, feminine sheets, a diary to organize your thoughts, at least one teddy bear, feminine magazines and books, watch ‘chick flicks’, various things along those lines. We are going to talk about boys, being a woman, periods, cramps, ob-gyn appointments, have PJ parties, facials, things like that. All you really have to do is just learn and not fight the changes. If you just relax and go with this you will become a woman mentally to the point where you will forget Richard and become Caitlin. At that point there will be no way for anyone to catch you. Now let’s get changed into PJ’s. I got some films for us to watch. We’ll have some drinks and relax. Smile, the worst is over.”

With that Meredith hustled off to her room to get her stuff. I went inside with Gwen and had a seat on my bed. “So what should I change into? I don’t have any Pj’s. The ones I had didn’t survive the purge.”

“We bought you a nice nightgown. Can’t miss it. It’s the green satin one in the bag on your bed. We found it when we picked up your outfit earlier.” She moved off to her side of the room and began to change. I snuck glances at her while we both changed. I was just your normal red-blooded American boy after all, with a few exceptions. Gwen was beautiful and her body was magnificent. I removed my blouse and skirt and bra after I happily noticed her removing her own. I thought she was extremely attractive, as did another part of my body. I turned my back to her to hopefully hide my notice. It felt quite constricted in my panties, almost to the point of hurting. While I pulled on my nightgown she had put on hers.

Mine was a hunter green satin gown with spaghetti straps that came down to the middle of my now bare thighs. The material was soft and cool next to my skin and it clung to me, my breasts rising from my chest.

Gwen was wearing a gown of black satin that came down to her ankles, with spaghetti straps as well. Just looking at her, her brown hair coming over one shoulder as she brushed it got me even more aroused. I could feel my penis begin to swell even more in my panties, becoming fairly uncomfortable in it’s restriction. I had to look at any thing else to regain control.

Gwen put down her brush and grabbed her towel and what looked like a shaving kit with a flower print on it. “Let’s go remove our make-up and wash up. I’ll show you what to do. We’ll get you your own stuff tomorrow.”

We walked down the hall to the communal bathroom and stepped up to the sinks. She got out several things and set them down. “First you clean off your makeup with either a make-up remover or cold cream. Then you rinse your face with an astringent to get the last of the residue, and then you moisturize it. We’ll cover this more when we need to.”

We washed up, with me following her lead and borrowing her stuff. Finally we finished and the distracting pressure abated. I went into one of the stalls and sat down on the toilet. It was a kind of a pain pulling down the panties and my nightgown up but I could cope. I figured if I did my business this way it would help keep the illusion going. I finished and wiped, then tucked myself back up, pulling my panties up tight. I returned to the room and saw Gwen sitting against the wall on her bed. Nadia, who was wearing a cotton-ruffled nightgown, was sitting with her. Meredith was sitting on the floor in a Winnie the Pooh oversized shirt. Meredith patted the ground beside her invitingly. “We got two movies for tonight, The Secret Garden and A Room with a View. They are for enjoyment and study. Listen to how they talk and try to mimic it. Also see how the women relate to each other.”

“Meredith just let the poor girl enjoy the movies. Either she’ll get it or she won’t. Don’t beat a dead horse.” Remarked Nadia. “Caitlin will do fine.”

I smiled back at her. “I’ll try.”

Both films were very enjoyable and I did pay attention to how the characters talked and related. We drank some wine coolers while we watched and I had a great time. The others talked about the movies and then onto men they were interested in. Other girls drifted in and out of the room, sometimes joining in, others just listening for a bit. It was a very different conversation to listen to. They brought up how they felt about things a lot more than I was used to. And they did seem to pay attention to what they were each talking about. That was different. I just closed my eyes and let their voices and opinions seep into me.

I felt like I was drifting away as the alcohol began to really effect me. I got lost in the feel of my smooth, hairless body, the feel of the fabric on my body, the weight of my new breasts, the bangs on my forehead and how my hair sat. The sensations were much more enjoyable than those of my male body had been. Some one helped me up and led me to my bed. I crawled in and slept.

The morning came with a nudge. I woke to see Gwen smiling down at me. “Time to get up sleepyhead. We got a big day ahead of us Caitlin, so let’s get going. We’ve got to shower and dress. Meet you in the bathroom.”

I got out of bed and the weight of my breasts threw me off some. I could see myself in Gwen’s mirror and a stranger stared back at me. I looked like a woman and that snapped me more awake. The day prior came back to me in a rush. I had spent a night in a Sorority house, as a woman and as a pledge. What would today bring?

I walked down the hall to the bathroom, yawning. It was mostly the way my hair was cut and the nightgown, but still if this was after only one day then who knew how convincing I would look after say a month had passed.

I entered the bathroom and said good morning to a few of the other girls there. A few of them smiled at me as I headed to the showers. Gwen was waiting next to the shower stalls for me. “Well Caitlin, we need to work on you some. You need to shampoo and condition your hair daily, wash using a moisturizing soap to get your skin softer. Facial scrubs and masques and all that will become part of your skin care regime so your skin will take on a more feminine appearance. I’ll pass you over the stuff when I am done with it.”

Showering my now hairless body was different. My skin was smooth and the soap felt good. The water even felt different on my skin. After using the soap my skin did feel smoother. After using Gwen’s shampoo and conditioner my hair felt different as well. Soft. It was nice.

Washing my body aroused me some. I ran my hands over my fake breasts, which looked totally real and the feel of the nipples under my hands got me even more aroused. I stroked my stiffening cock as I ran my other hand over my now feminine body. The sight of my breasts moving with my breath and under my other hand added to my arousal. I sped up my strokes on my erect shaft and felt my testicles tighten in preparation. Just the thought of me masturbating in the bathroom of a Sorority, with girls around me helped push me over the edge. On a whim I caught my cum in my left hand as I milked myself dry. I don’t know why but I did. Once I stopped ejaculating I brought it up to my lips. As I wondered what went through a girls mind as they gave a blowjob I licked my own cum from my hand. The salty thickness of it surprised me.

I rinsed off, getting the last stringy traces of my cum from my now limp penis and my left hand. I turned off the water and began to dry off. I looked down at my heart shaped pubic hair and smirked, when I tucked myself up and under I looked like a woman. It was odd.

I wrapped a towel around myself, remembering to cover my breasts and exited the shower. Gwen was waiting for me with a sly smile on her face. We gathered up the shower stuff up and went to the room. After we entered Gwen locked the door.

“That was really erotic Caitlin, watching you masturbate and eat your own cum. It turned me on, but please try to remember that you are a girl now. Don’t try to hit on any of the ladies of the house or you will find yourself charged with a crime and kicked out all nice and legal. However, Meredith and I like you. She and I talked about you after you fell asleep.”

I was embarrassed and surprised: embarrassed over having been caught in the showers and surprised over someone actually talking about me. I generally had no one talk about me. I was a forgetful person, no one remembered me.

“We both are of the opinion that we can make you a beautiful girl, if you let us. We also think you look really good with the equipment you have. You were a plain boy, but you will be a remarkable woman. But time will tell if we decide to go any further with you. The better you do, the more likely it will be. I know the idea gives me flutters in my belly.” Gwen smiled brightly at me. “But we have things to do. Hopefully that bit of info will tempt you out of any trouble.”

I was stunned. A woman, no two women found me attractive like this? They wanted me to look like a woman as well, to all but be a woman. They were both attractive and their company was nice. Why choose me? The possibility set my head a whirl. I got dressed in a near daze, tucking myself in and pulling my panties up tight.

I put my skirt on again and another shirt, one of my own white dress shirts, which had survived the purge, except now it fit me very differently. It was not buttoned all the way up and showed the roundness of my breasts. My bra felt good, helping to support the still new weight on my chest. The flats slipped on easily.

Gwen waved me over to her as she finished getting dressed. “Let me get your hair Caitlin. Pay attention. You need to start doing this soon. Meredith will be along soon for your make-up.”

She taught me how to comb my hair out and free tangles. I had mostly just pulled them free. This way hurt much less. Then she just pulled it back and used one of her hair clips to hold it back. The effect was quite feminine. I was surprised at how the transition was going. There was a knock at the door and Gwen went and let Meredith in. Gwen whispered something to her while they were still in the doorway. I was sure it was about what had happened earlier. When Meredith broke into a broad grin I was sure of it.

Meredith sat me down in one of my chairs while Gwen finished getting herself ready. First she moisturized me, then applied the base, powder, blush, eyeliner and shadow and finally mascara. She explained the whole process as she did it. She stepped back when she was done. “We forgot something last night Caitlin.”

“What? I didn’t think there was anything else to do last night, except watch movies?” I couldn’t think of anything we had missed.

“Piercing your ears.” She pulled out her piercing gun, already loaded. She quickly and efficiently pierced my ears. It stung a little, but the feeling passed quickly. “Turn the posts about every half-hour and leave them in for a while so the holes heal correctly. Now don’t loose those posts. Those were the first diamond studs I got when my ears were pierced.”

I was touched by her gesture, “Thank you Meredith. That’s really nice of you. Thank you.”

She smiled and gave me a quick hug. “You’re welcome Caitlin. See how they look.”

The diamond studs added something to the face that looked back at me. They were so obviously not a man’s earrings. My face was looking more feminine with each change they made. “Wow! It looks wonderful. Thank you again. So, what is on the plan for today?”

“Gwen and I are going to work on your walk and carriage. Then you are going to work on speech with Anne. Oh, I was wondering, can I use pictures of you for a school project?”

“Pictures of me? Why?” Pictures of me for a project? That I really didn’t understand.

“Well, my advisor in the theatre department brought up the option for me to transform a man into a woman as a project. The more real the transformation the higher my grade will be in the end.” She looked at me all pleadingly. I have always been a sucker for a girl looking cute and asking for my help.

“Oh, all right. I guess it would be okay. I have some pictures of me from before this whole thing started and I don’t see a problem with you taking more pictures.” I really didn’t know what to think about the whole thing but she did ask nicely. What could it hurt?

“Enough. Let’s get breakfast and got started.” chided Gwen.

Breakfast passed quickly and then they began to correct my posture and the way I walked and how I carried myself. Getting my hips to sway correctly without exaggerating the movement was difficult. I copied Gwen, Meredith and a couple of the other girls in the TV room where we were practicing. When I finally moved well enough for them they started in on how to hold my hands and move them when I walked.

Getting your hands to be held lightly and more open took some work. I also had to move them out so they would not hit my hips as they swung. After an hour and a half they stopped and got Anne.

Again her raven hair was braided, but it was now held in by a bow in the back and she wore a letter t-shirt. She had with her a tape recorder and several tapes. She asked me a couple of simple questions just to get my voice recorded. She and Meredith were both pleased with the fact that puberty has not really hit me and my voice had not deepened. Apparently the thing that bothered me the most growing up was a benefit in this.

“Richard…ah…Caitlin, listen to me. With the way your voice is right now you could all but sound like a girl. We’ll use a couple of tricks to keep it sounding the way we want. Talk like Mickey Mouse for a second.” ordered Anne.

“Okay.” I did so, feeling kind of weird. I said a few things and she looked pleased.

“Do it again. Feel your throat when you do.”

Again I followed her directions and felt the vibrations near the bottom of my throat. She had me feel the vibrations of my voice normally and resonated higher.

“Caitlin, that lower vibration is where you want to talk. Now just talk, but keep your voice at the upper range. Try to match the vibration.”

Anne kept me at that for another hour and a half, taping me again towards the end of that time. She played the first tape and then the second. I sounded much more like a girl on the second tape. “Caitlin, I need you to concentrate on talking at that lower vibration all the time until you can talk there without thinking about it. Gwen, you and Meredith keep on him…her until she gets this right.”

She reached across the table where we sat and patted my hand comfortingly. “You’re going to do alright Caitlin. If you can keep your voice there you are over halfway there. We’ll see how things are coming along tomorrow and go from there. Talk lots. That will set the voice. If your throat gets sore, gargle with some warm water. That will soothe your vocal cords.”

I smiled and nodded.” I’ll do that Anne and hopefully my voice will sound right really soon.”

She smiled and left, going through her notes. Meri came over and pulled me up. “No rest for the oppressed Caitlin. Back to walking. We got you a new treat.”

Gwen handed me a pair of nylon socks and a pair of heels. The heels must have been about three inches. They looked absolutely huge. I stared at them.

Gwen’s chuckling broke me out of that spell. “These will shorten your steps and help you walk right. If you move your hips right the heels will be easy.”

I slipped off my flats and pulled on both nylons and shoes. I stood hesitantly, using the chair I had been sitting in for support. I took a few short steps, wobbling a little. That drew a couple of chuckles from my audience. Gwen shushed them with a reminder that they had all wobbled learning heels. Meredith gave me some more advice. “Try to walk as if you were on a balance beam, one foot in front of the other. If your hips swing correctly then you will have no problem setting your feet correctly. Now let’s go.”

Another hour of walking apparently helped my appearance walking and turning. I called for a rest and sat down. My feet ached from the heels and my legs were getting tired. That’s when they started in on the way I sat. I needed to cross my legs correctly, hold my hands differently. At least I was able to sit through most of it. Nadia and Sandra came in and watched the end of my walking and my lessons in sitting. They looked pleased by my performance.

Another girl came in to the room and rescued me, by announcing lunch. We stopped the movement lessons and headed off to eat. Thankfully they had let me put my flats back on. I had hoped for a reprieve but that was not to be. I got my first lessons in how to eat. No scarfing of my food this time. I had to take smaller bites and hold my utensils correctly. Also my sitting was corrected and they all jumped on any alteration of my voice. It was maddening. I was really beginning to think I couldn’t pull this off; not if I had to keep putting up with this.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 4

Somehow I made it through lunch without screaming. I was getting frustrated by the constant correcting. Nadia had whispered something to Gwen, who passed it to Meredith who smiled and nodded. I knew something was up and almost bothered to worry about it, but I had gone beyond caring. They were winning and now I was going along for the ride. After all, the only thing I could do was quit, which I wouldn’t do. I had given my word.

When we finished lunch Gwen and Meredith hustled me upstairs. “We need to do some shopping to get you what you need. We have a list.”

I grabbed my gold card along with my purse and the three of us headed out to the mall. What followed could be best described as a typhoon. Though I barely recall everything that happened, Meredith and Gwen outfitted me with skirts, dresses, slacks, leggings, blouses, t-shirts, shoes, exercise clothes, a bikini and a swimsuit, makeup, make up brushes, perfume, panties, bras, other lingerie, feminine sheets, posters, jewelry, a few stuffed animals, romance novels, magazines, other books on things like fashion and makeup, a journal, and many other things. Everything a girl would need to explode full born into the world.

I had some say in things, like color choices and no to the posters of men, but it was mostly the two of them picking things for me. Despite the chaos, or because of it, the shopping was fun. I enjoyed trying on the various outfits and seeing how I looked. Meredith’s work on me was amazing to behold. And, of course, all along the way they corrected me on my voice and how I moved. It was enough to make any one crazy.

When we returned to the House after having dinner we all worked on putting all my new stuff away. Soon my dresser drawers were filled with panties of all colors, bras, pantyhose and the like. My closet was filled with skirts, blouses, dresses and the few slacks I had gotten. Shoes of various types filled the bottom of the closet. I had posters of art and the like. I could handle the unicorns, and faeries but I had been outvoted when I had complained about it. Now my side of the room looked like any other girls.

My throat was sore at this point and my voice sounded tired as I had been trying to speak in the new voice all day. Anne said that was natural as I was teaching new vocal muscles. I gargled with some warm salt water to soothe my voice. It helped a lot. I hoped that I could avoid talking too much to night.

We settled down and watched a couple of films for me to use as references. As long as I stayed relaxed it was easier for me to accept all these changes. However, thinking about it got me all confused. I was male. I had male equipment. I did not dress in ruffles, lace and silk. I was not meant to have French manicured nails, pierced ears or smell of perfume. I drank a little more of my wine cooler and tried to let that train of thought go.

It was a little disconcerting seeing all these feminine things around me. I was a guy and I had been happy as a guy. Sometimes I really wished that I had learned how to keep my big mouth shut. If I hadn’t given my word I could have backed down and gone on with my life. But I had said that and I was honor bound to live a girl’s life. Maybe I needed to find a new hobby?

I put myself into this position. I had agreed to the conditions of this game and I could leave anytime I wanted to. And besides, the idea of following this up and seeing if I could pull it off was intriguing. Despite all of Meredith’s work I really doubted that people would really believe that I was a girl. And this game was raising a number of new feelings within me, things I had never felt before. I guessed that I should follow up on this, after all what could it hurt?

After the films I cleaned up, moisturized my skin with lotion and got dressed in my nightgown. The feeling of the material felt wonderful, all smooth and slick and cool against my skin. Again the night passed easily and I spent most of it in thought. I drifted off to sleep under my new feminine sheets holding my new teddy bear for comfort some time after midnight. Sleeping with the bear had been one of Gwen’s bright ideas.

I woke early as I heard Gwen moving about the room. I got up, stretched and grabbed my shower stuff. I got busy getting ready for another new day as Caitlin. Gwen helped me do my makeup, helping me where I could not quite get it. She, of course, jumped on me first thing about my voice and movements. I would have screamed if it would have helped. Besides she probably would have made comments about how that wasn’t very ladylike. I got dressed in a nice cotton jumper I had bought the day before, slipped on my flats and she and I headed down for breakfast.

Meredith was waiting for the two of us, along with Anne. “Well Caitlin, today will be similar to yesterday. But after lunch we’ll do something fun. We were thinking of going sunbathing and we wanted to take you along. Sound good?”

“Sure. Sounds fun.” Sunbathing? I have seen some women doing it but how fun could lying there be? I mean, wasn’t that really boring?

“Great. Well, let’s get started.”

Again I spent the day walking, sitting and then carrying things. It was fairly maddening. What had I done to myself? Finally it moved to Anne’s lessons with my voice. I found it easier to stay in the range today. For the most part I had spent the day before trying to talk the way they wanted me to. We concentrated on shaping my vowels. Anne seemed pleased at my progress.

Just before lunch Meredith plopped down on the couch next to me. “Got some more fun for you, Caitlin. We got some magazines for you to read and study from. We will be testing you to make sure you are serious about this, so enjoy.”

She didn’t seem to have anything in her hands so I was wondering what was up. “Where are the magazines?”

“Up in my room. Vogue, Mademoiselle, Cosmo and the like. We’ll bring some out with us when we sunbathe. We’ll bake and read. It’ll be fun.”

“Alright.” We went off and ate. The amount of food I was getting was less than I was used to, but I figured I was supposed to be eating less. Gwen and I went up and we changed into our bikinis. I looked at Gwen as we changed and was thrilled when I saw her neatly trimmed furry triangle. I tucked myself up and under and pulled up my bottoms. It looked odd to me and I thought it was obvious that I was a guy but Gwen told me I looked fine. We grabbed our towels and headed to the back lawn of the house.

When we got there we rubbed lotion onto each other and then lay out on our towels. I read from the copy of Cosmo I had been given while I was lying on my stomach. It wasn’t the most comfortable position but I could deal with it. The articles in the magazine had a very different slant and vocabulary choice then any of the magazines I usually read. The topics were different as well. I guess that goes without saying but still. Different makeup techniques, fashion tips, articles on how the female body worked, etc... Interesting, but different. I was not sure what I would be tested on so I resolved to study it all. If it weren’t for that stupid test I never would have picked up the stupid magazine.

After a while Gwen put down her magazine and looked over at me. “Hey there Caitlin. Time to roll over. You wouldn’t want to burn your skin now would you?”

I sighed and flipped over. I just lay there basking, my eyes closed. The warmth of the sun felt good on my hairless body. The warmth seeped into my bones and I just relaxed into the moment.

The bikini felt really odd. I had only worn swim shorts before so I felt practically naked in them. The small bit of fabric felt different than a bra and panties and I wondered how these different tan lines would look on my body. That would be a sight I was sure to see in the near future.

After we tanned for a total of thirty minutes we went inside and headed up to the room to change. Meredith followed Gwen and me into the room. She walked over to my desk and picked up my diary which she had bought. “See this? This will be one of the most important items in helping you pull this off. In it you need to put your feelings, apprehensions, hopes, and dreams, all of that sort of thing. Women tend to be emotional. We always have some sort of emotional response to something and we are usually familiar enough with our emotions to state that feeling. Men, on the other hand, are not really connected to their emotions. This is a cultural thing and is what causes them to really have a lot of trouble expressing what they are feeling. This diary can be your emotional playground. It is yours and private. You can say anything you want in it, including that we are making you crazy and homicidal. It will help Caitlin, I am sure of it.”

I smiled and went to my closet to choose an outfit to change into. “Thank you Meredith. I appreciate that. I wouldn’t have thought of that on my own. So what are we going to do now?”

“Well, your walk has improved and your voice is more consistent. Those will improve over time with use. We were just going to take the next couple of days to continue on with the same sort of things. Your mornings will be given over to classes and after lunch we will get some sun and relax. Remember it is our summer break after all.”

“True. Are we going to be watching any more movies?” I had enjoyed those we had already watched and I loved spending my summers watching films. It was what I had planned to do anyway, though with different films.

“I think that can be arranged. Come on and get dressed. We got lots more to do.” Said Meredith, pretending to crack a whip at me.

I dressed casually in a soft cotton skirt and blouse and we watched soaps. The stories jumped all over the place, but since I was sure to be tested on this I tried to pay attention to the complex weaves of relationships. I was also given a stack of magazines and romance novels from the girls of the house. I was told I would be responsible for the information in them. I sighed and was ready to read those as well. This whole plan had completely screwed up and I felt honor bound to follow through on my end of the deal. I sighed and got to work. So this was going to be how I spent my summer vacation.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 5

The test at the end of the week was fairly rough, on clothing, how to use make up and do my hair and colors. It pretty much told me what I know and don’t know. In fact I am not so sure that too many girls actually know all this stuff themselves but I had to know it. Meredith told me afterwards that she didn’t really know anyone who could answer everything and that enabled me to be graded on a curve. I was actually really thankful for that.

I hadn’t gotten a hold of my mom yet to let her know about all of this so I wrote her a letter. I wasn’t sure about calling her and letting her hear how much my voice had changed, just the whole idea scares me. I told her all about my plan and how it seemed to have backfired on me. I told her all about my first week here and the people I had met. Hopefully she would understand all of this. I did my best to put a positive spin on things. She probably would understand as I had been pulling stunts like this for a while now. However this was the first time the table really had gotten turned on me. And what a way it had turned.

I also was told to invite Rebecca over, so she could see me after a week of the tender mercies of the Sisters. That was sure to be fun. I really had no choice in the matter as they didn’t want me to simply fall off the face of the earth. I had planned on doing that but they stopped me. I dialed the number and Meredith stood next to me as the phone rang on the other end. Unfortunately she was home. “Rebecca?”

“Yes? Who is this?” She sounded a little worried.

“Uh...this is Richard.” I blushed as I admitted that.

“Really? You sound different. What’s going on?” She really did seem confused. I guess simply checking in wouldn’t work.

“Well, you know how I had that thing going with the sorority?”

“Yeah, and I have been worried since I haven’t heard from you. What’s up? Did they do something horrible to you?” Her voice grew hard. I knew she was worried about me and I felt bad about not letting her know sooner.

“They accepted me.”

“No way! Really? Is this why you are talking funny? Are they torturing you? Sexually molesting you?”

“Not unless you call voice lessons and walking in heels torture. And no molestation. I feel so cheated.” I made a weak joke. It did seem to help the tension in our call.

“Richard, you are such a dork. So what’s up?”

“My keepers said to call you and invite you over this evening. So you could see the results.”

“Awesome. Is it okay if I laugh at you for getting caught?” said Rebecca.

“Love you too. They said seven tonight, is that okay?”

“Sure. See you then.”

I hung up the phone and Meredith smiled at me. “See, that wasn’t so bad. I’ll come up and help you get ready. Why not go upstairs and relax, maybe write in your journal.”

I nodded and headed upstairs. It had been a hectic day so far. I had been out sunbathing again early in the morning and had taken the tests they had concocted for me. I actually felt like I had lots of stuff to put in my journal. I got it out and began to write about everything and work on my handwriting, which wasn’t easy. That part of things was taking a good portion of my time, since it required much more attention to detail than I usually gave my writing. I needed to have passable handwriting by the time classes started in about three more weeks. So I had my writing drilled into me, as well as walking, talking, holding things and the like.

I wrote in my diary about how it felt as if I were being reformed and how I was sure I was being reshaped in many ways, some of which I was sure I had no idea what was going on. I was losing weight due to my now lighter diet that I had been put on, and I had to admit that it was healthier. This first week had been intense and my head was spinning. I just wrote about how I was feeling and how this whole thing made me feel.

It was odd but in a way I was enjoying this. I mean, I was getting attention from several really hot girls and I was able to live a completely different life. I had occasionally wondered what being a girl was like and now I was living that, or at least the form of that. The girls seemed to find this whole project interesting and a few of the other girls were warming up to me. They still left when I went into the shower room but I guess I could understand that. All in all, I was still a boy to them, despite how Meredith had made me look.

They way my body felt, hairless, still was taking some getting used to. Not shaving was a good thing. I hadn’t felt any stubble yet but Meredith told me that it would be back in a little bit and then for round two. Apparently it needed to be done about four or five times to keep the hair from coming back, ever. I wasn’t sure about that part, but I have never backed out on a deal yet and I had given my word that I would do this. So I could take whatever they could dish out. I put that in my diary as well. Despite everything they did to me, I would still be me. Right?

I stretched and looked at the clock. I had been writing for about an hour. I flexed my hand. It was almost cramping. I don’t think I had ever written so much before in my life. I figured that if this kept up I would be able to write for much longer than usual. My handwriting was changing. I noticed that when I looked over the entry. I stood and wondered what was going to happen tonight when Rebecca got there. It did scare me a little and I wasn’t sure what to do about that.

There was a knock at the door and I turned, looked at the door and asked. “Who is it?”

“Meredith. We have to talk about tonight? I mean this is the first time you are going to be seeing one of your old friends since this has started. She is going to be coming over for dinner. So we just need to have you get semi-fancied up.” She said as she entered the room and walked over.

“Okay. What should I wear? A nice dress or something?”

“Maybe a nice blouse and a skirt would work as well.” added Meredith.

“Sure. What are we going to be doing?” I knew that I was sounding really nervous.

“Well, I thought we could eat and maybe go out for a movie. Kind of a girl’s night out.” Meredith smiled at me, as if that should be the easiest thing in the world for me to do.

“Uh…okay. Are you sure?”

“What’s wrong Caitlin? You haven’t had any problems going out in public before.” Meredith sat down on the bed and looked at me.

I shifted a little nervously. Given everything I didn’t want to admit any weaknesses to any of them but she was my friend so far. Maybe telling her would be okay. “Part of it has to do with the fact that it is with Rebecca. I…this…uh…I’m not sure. I haven’t seen any one I know while I have been dressed like this and I’m nervous. I don’t know what she’ll think. I…I don’t want to be a freak. You all have been making me feeling welcome for the most part and not like a freak or anything. I am worried about what she’ll think of me. I am worried about what all of you think.”

Meredith sat there for a moment, thinking. There was a little crease between her eyebrows. She seemed to be weighing something before she spoke. This made me worried. I wasn’t expecting what she said however. “Well, Gwen and I like you. A lot. I think I could find myself happy with you, because you are actually going through with this and not being overly weird about it. Some of my sisters here are a bit worried about you, waiting to see how you deal with this. I’m not worried. You said Rebecca was your friend and was okay with you doing this. So she should be okay with how this has turned out. You look great and I don’t think she’ll be upset with you. All we can do is find out.”

I nodded. Maybe I should give this a chance. I was just afraid of what Rebecca might say and I was letting it get to me. I guess living through this and seeing what was going on with her would be the only possible way to cope. Not much I could do otherwise.

“Come on lets get you ready. If you look good I am sure it will help you.” said Meredith cheerfully.

She helped me pick out a nice skirt and blouse to wear that was casual. I thought it would look good as well. She helped me do my makeup though I was able to do it myself by now. She just did it faster and better. Probably had something to do with the whole make-up artist thing.

I went downstairs with her and we waited for Rebecca to show up. I was reading a magazine when she walked in. She walked up to Nadia who was sitting there as well and asked to see me. I smiled as Nadia let her know I was already there. It took her a few minutes to pick me out of the few girls who were there in the day room reading or talking.

“Oh…my…God! Look at you!” gushed Rebecca.

“Well, it’s all thanks to Meredith here. She did all of the work. I just followed directions.” Meredith smiled proudly as I lauded her with praise.

“Well, what ever you did you look amazing. And you sound like a girl as well. How did you do all of this?”

Meredith smile only got brighter. “Well, I do stage makeup and stuff and we have several other talented girls in our Sorority. Not all of these Greek groups are filled with bitches and stuck up prigs. Some are, and we have a few, but we try to move past that.”

Suddenly, Rebecca hugged me. And it felt really good. We had never done that as it was not really the male/female friend thing to do when friends. At least that is what I had been taught growing up. I was also starting to learn that what I had been taught was not going to be my life from now on. Things seemed really different in this girl’s world. I felt like I was exploring uncharted territory, at least for me.

Meredith tapped Rebecca on the shoulder. “Come on, let’s get going. I wanted to grab something to eat before we head off to the movie. This should be fun.”

We all headed out and piled into Meredith’s car. She stated, “I was thinking of going to Perkins. Is that okay?”

Rebecca and I both nodded. I replied, “Sounds good to me.”

She drove off, blaring her music like she always did. It was basically too loud to hear anything but the music. Meredith seemed to be dancing along as she drove. A few times I was in fear for my life as she slalomed through traffic. She pulled to a stop at the restaurant and shut off the car. “Let’s get a table.”

She bounded out of the car and Rebecca and I pulled ourselves out. My ears were ringing from the music and I hoped I would be able to hear anyone over the ringing. When the two of us entered there she was waving from a table. I smiled and headed over. It ended up with me sitting across from Meredith with Rebecca sitting next to me. I was okay with that. The view was good what ever way I looked.

The waitress showed up and took our order for drinks. I got a glass of water and began to look over the menu. The others were doing that as well. I wasn’t all that hungry so I just ordered a chocolate chocolate chip muffin. They were huge and should work to fill me up. I had eaten them before and had liked them. No need to change everything about myself just for this project.

Rebecca smiled at me and asked, “So….Caitlin? Where do you tuck your…you know?”

Meredith smiled evilly again and looked at me. “Yes Caitlin, how do you do that?”

I blushed painfully. I really didn’t want to answer but the looks I was getting from Rebecca made me sigh and give in. “I…uh…erm…push my testicles inside my body and fold my…you know…back and under.”

Rebecca stared at me, almost wide eyed. “Really? Doesn’t that hurt?”

“A little at first. I am starting to get used to it, now it only hurts if I get… excited.” I felt like I was burning up. I must have been blushing really brightly. My face almost hurt.

“Wow….” Was her only response, “And you’re fine with all of this?”

I glanced over at Meredith and then back at Rebecca. “Uhrm…not really. I hadn’t really thought my plan through completely. I was counting more on being told no rather than yes. I thought that if they took me in I would still dress like me…but I was outsmarted. I feel really awkward a good portion of the time and they are running me ragged.”

Rebecca frowned, not happy by what I was saying. She turned to face my keeper. “Meredith, why did you all do this to him…er…her?”

She shrugged. “Look. This was actually a really heated discussion. We talked to the national council, to our lawyers and the general membership of the house. The decision that was made was that Richard seemed ready to take this to trial; you were ready for a No. We figured that what you weren’t ready for was a Yes. We were also sure you wouldn’t agree with the decision to go through with things once we said yes and explained the rules of the house, which National had passed. I was held in reserve in case you did say yes. And you did which completely surprised us. So I took charge of all of this and here we are.”

“I’m sorry. I hadn’t really meant to cause you all that much trouble. Well, maybe I did. But I didn’t really know you at the time. I’m sorry.” I was starting to feel bad about what I had started. I don’t think I really thought through the implications of this carefully enough.

“It’s okay. I like you and Nadia for one thinks you have tremendous guts to stick through this. That’s why things were so intense up front, to see if you would back out. Some of the other girls who are staying at the house wanted to be mean and really stick it to you, some sort of panty torture but cooler heads prevailed. It could have been really bad for you if we hadn’t. But I thought, as did a number of others, that this might become a hell of a trip for you and a real eye opening experience for all of us.”

Rebecca asked, “You mean let him see the upsides to being a girl?”

“Exactly. There are a more than a few. And there are some downsides as well. We can’t give you cramps and a period, but you will have all the joy of being treated like a second class citizen. Having a guy talk to your breasts and not you. Having to worry about being alone in an unfamiliar place. These are things women deal with every day and now you get that joy too. So that was what made the others realize that this was not going to be a picnic for you. That helped change a few minds.”

I sat there in silence, wondering at what Meredith had just said. I had thought this would be a simple game, a simple way for me to have a little fun at the expense of the Sorority but it wasn’t. And unless I quit I was stuck like this for at least four years. I had painted myself into a corner and I couldn’t find a way out. What the hell had I gotten my self into?

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 6

I guess I must have looked a little scared at that realization; I know I felt it. I had effectively agreed to give up four years of my life for this. How in the hell had I not managed to figure that out until now? What the hell was I going to do? I didn’t want to be a girl for four years. I took a drink of my water. It was a big one and I almost choked on it. I coughed and the two girls patted me on the back as I tried to catch my breath.

“Relax Caitlin, its okay. Trust me, if you stay with this I will make sure you are okay, as will the house. I will keep you safe Caitlin, I give you my word.” whispered Meredith in my ear. From the look on Rebecca’s face she heard it as well.

“You promise?” I could hear my voice shaking almost as much as I was inside. The worry must have been clear on my face as the two girls shared a look of concern.

Meredith looked right in my eyes, very focused and determined. She looked much more serious than I ever had seen her look before. It was a little terrifying. “This whole plan revolves on my ability to transform you. If you are not happy and want to quit at any time, I mean really quit, I will ensure it will be done in a way to keep your identity safe and keep the house from looking bad. If any of the sisters give you grief, tell me and I’ll fix it. I really like you, Richard, and I do want to make you happy with whatever your plan is.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. If Meredith was this focused and concerned I could relax. It was scary but I had come to depend on her heavily in the last week. I also had to admit that I have had fun while going through this whole insane project. It was definitely different and interesting. Sure, it felt weird but I’m enjoying it so far. Aren’t I? It’s like I am fooling the whole world, not just screwing with a group. And if I believe in equality I should be able to walk a mile in the others shoes, right? I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. “Okay. I’m better now.”

Rebecca stopped looking as worried and took a drink of her iced tea, slowly and carefully. I guess she didn’t want to choke on it like I had with mine. I was glad she was still my friend even through this stupid idea.

“Tell you what.” said Meredith, “Let’s go back to the house and watch something. I think I have had all the excitement I can handle for a while. We can watch movies in my room. And besides, Rebecca, you’ve never seen what a house is like. So, let’s go.”

We got our checks, paid and left. Meredith went to the bathroom and came back grinning. I looked at her curiously but she just ignored me, as she did occasionally. We walked to the car and hopped in. I was sitting in the backseat, again. We just chatted our way back to the house, the conversation nice and light.

Once there, the three of us trooped up to Meredith’s room. We got there and grabbed seats. I sat against her bed and Rebecca took the desk chair. It liked the spot. I had a great view of the TV and Meredith had moved the speakers to focus on this area. She usually sat on the bed right above this spot. This also had the bonus of having her play with my hair, so it was all good in my opinion.

While Rebecca was moving her seat to have a better view of the screen, Nadia came by and knocked on the open door. “Hey, can anybody join in?”

“Sure. Come on in Nadia.” replied Meredith.

Nadia did that, smiling. “What are you watching?”

“Not sure yet. Rebecca, you see anything you want to see?”

Rebecca looked away from the DVD’s arranged in the bookshelf. “Oh, yeah. Can we watch Jersey Girl? I love Kevin Smith. And I heard Liv Tyler is good in it. J Lo also dies in the first five minutes, so that’s something positive as far as I’m concerned.”

Meredith smiled. “I liked it. Sounds good to me.”

Nadia nodded as well. “Sure. Caitlin?”

“Whatever.” I was busy running through things in my head. Did I really want to do this? Sometimes I wasn’t sure. I mean, this all started out as a fun game and I was getting moved about, permanently loosing my facial hair, getting stuck like this for my college career and having to pretend to be a girl for the honor of the house. I really wondered what the hell I had been thinking when I had decided this and why hadn’t I gotten a Sorority that had no spine? Why couldn’t I have gotten a group of airheads that got all nervous and jittery at the idea, thus allowing me to take them to court? But then I guess that did mean that I was actually trying to make fun of the system. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

They started the film and it played. Nadia made popcorn for us all and I ate some of it absently. It was salty and buttery and I licked my fingers clean. I only caught a few of the scenes as I ran through things in my head. The scene where Ben and Liv got caught in the shower was priceless. And the scene with Will Smith was great. But I had more important things to work through. What did I really think about this whole thing?

I got up towards the end of the film and headed to my room. My mind was buzzing and I didn’t feel like good company. I needed the quiet to work through this. I sat down on my bed and held my knees. I needed some time alone, to think about if I could really do this. I mean what I had agreed to was spending at least four years as a girl. Did I want to do that? If so, why? I didn’t know.

I had only thought I would have a little legal fun at the expense of these girls. They had called my bluff and let me enter their house and their Sorority. They were welcoming me, for the most part, as one of their own. I wasn’t sure how to deal with that. I had never really been accepted for being me.

And did I want to spend all of my years in college with my penis tucked up and under, pretending to be a girl? Would this make me a better person or screw me up? Would I want to stay a girl or could I manage to go back to my life? And I also wasn’t sure how I felt about this lie? There were a lot of things I had no answers for.

Meredith was really friendly and had been hitting on me a little, encouraging me to go through this process, both for the house and for her own grades. If she could track my transformation from start to finish she was going to get a really good grade for what was an independent project for credit. She had something to gain through this but what did I have to gain through all of this?

Sure, there was the illusion of getting to know how the other side lives and what they put up with. But in a lot of ways I don’t really care about how the other side lives. They were just girls, nothing special. Just girls.

I shook my head. Maybe this would be good for me if I thought anyone was “just” anything. No one was “just” anything. No one was fundamentally better than anyone else. No one. That’s why I had started all of this in the first place. That’s why I have done this a couple of other times against groups that kept other people out. I didn’t like people thinking they were better back at home and I really don’t like it here. They let me in, with rules on my appearance and behavior. That seemed fair. Groups did have the right to have standards for their members. I may be a little confused but I was still aware what is fair and right.

I had agreed to this but had the liberty of being able to quit at any time. And did I want to? Christ, I don’t know. I rubbed my now smooth legs and frowned. I looked like a girl now, in almost all ways but totally naked. With the hair of my face gone and with my hair like this I didn’t look like a guy. But that was still what I was. Shouldn’t I be pissed about this, or really upset? I wasn’t sure. What the hell was I supposed to do?

I looked around the room I shared with Gwen. I had bought a lot of stuff to support this illusion. Sheets, clothes, jewelry, loads of other stuff. I had been convinced that I had needed all this stuff to fit in here, to be one of the girls. What the hell was I going to do with all of this stuff if I left? Give it to Rebecca, Meredith, Gwen or someone else? Hold a garage sale? I was committed financially to this little social experiment as well.

But I had just wanted to join and be myself, not to be this created girl. I didn’t want to be a girl at all but this whole situation was definitely working on making me that way. If I spent four years living as a girl how much of me would shift to become Caitlin and how far would Richard fade? I wasn’t sure I was ready for that answer. I already knew that some of the stuff they were teaching me was sinking in, I didn’t think about some of the things they had taught me anymore. Some of the behavior they were teaching me was becoming second nature.

I knew if I stayed with this I would all but become a girl. I had never wanted that, ever. But really, what an amazingly manly figure I usually cut. As a man I’m small and scrawny and barely muscular. I’m the kind of man that says I’m a target, pick on me. I was ignored, picked on, pushed around and belittled for most of my life. I hate that. I’m tired of being picked on but nothing I do helps me grow stronger or taller, not weight training, not running, not protein shakes, nothing. Puberty barely has started to play with me. I look like I’m fourteen or fifteen, when I’m not made up like Caitlin. And now here I am becoming a sissy of my own free will. What the fuck was wrong with me?

Damnit! I’m not a sissy! I’m not a weak little girly man who flounced about. I pounded the bed in frustration, screaming into my pillow. I’m going through with this whole stupid fucking plan because I’m a man of honor. I had given my word; in that I am much more manly than about every one else I had ever met. I feel trapped, unable to figure a way out of this. What am I going to do?

I clutched my teddy bear and cried in frustration, soaking the top of his head. Why do I feel like every thing was falling apart around me? Why does life have to be this hard? Why do I have to fail at everything I do? I fell asleep weeping.

* * * * * *

I felt a hand shaking me awake. A soft gentle voice asked, “Hey, sweetie, are you okay?”

“No.” I mumbled. I wasn’t sure I wanted to deal with the world just yet, so I remained curled around my teddy bear.

Meredith began to stroke my head gently. It felt really good, and I raised my head up a little to feel it better. She mumbled softly, soothingly in my ear. “It’ll be okay. Shhh….it’ll be okay.”

“I just hate this. I don’t want to be a girl. I just want to be me. I don’t want to be a girl.” I almost sobbed this admission. I was embarrassed by my failure in this. Maybe I should just quit and admit I was wrong?

Meredith bent down, kissed my forehead and continued to talk in her gentle voice. “Sweetie, no one is trying to make you be something other than yourself. If you don’t want to do this you can stop. Just say so and we’ll call it a day. You can go back to the apartment with Rebecca and we can forget all about this. It’s okay.”

“I gave my word, and I stand by it. I’ll always stand by my word even if it hurts me. That’s what my Dad taught me. It’s just this hurts so much. What am I becoming?” I began to cry a little more. I shook a little and clutched my bear tighter, as if it was able to protect me.

“You aren’t becoming anything except a better person. You are just a really brave man going through something different, something unexpected and following through with your word. That’s admirable.” she kept stroking my hair.

“Is it? I don’t know any more.” I almost whispered.

“I’ve told you about this. You are going through a lot and it’s bound to be stressful. We want you….I want you to be happy. The Sorority is about the power and joy of sisterhood and for having fun. You were voted in to change things, to try something different for us as well as you. But we also didn’t want to be laughed at. So we made this agreement, which we mean to stand by. Do you want to quit?” Her voice was really supportive and helped me to calm down some.

“I don’t know. Maybe. No. Yes. I don’t know.” I started shaking as I cried some more. I felt so lost and confused. I wasn’t sure of almost anything any more. What the hell was I going to do?

“Why don’t you sleep on it? We can talk about it in the morning.” she started to move away from me and stand. I didn’t let go of her leg so she sat back down on the bed. “It’s okay. Really. Just rest and we can talk about this tomorrow. You should feel better in the morning.”

“Please. Don’t leave me.” I looked up at her with my tear stained face and red eyes. In so many ways she was becoming my lifeline to sanity and who I had been. Her magic had managed to turn me into a beautiful girl from an uninspiring boy.

Meredith’s eyes softened as she met mine. “Okay sweetie. I’ll stay the night with you. Just relax. I’ll be right back. Give me a chance to change and I’ll come join you.”

She kissed the top of my head again and climbed off the bed after freeing herself from my arms. I could hear the door open and close. I kept crying and clutching my bear. Oh God, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just decide?

A few minutes later Meredith came back into the room and I turned to look at her. She was dressed in a pair of her pajama bottoms and an old white t-shirt. She looked really cute. “Schooch over.”

I did and I could feel her lie up against me, spooned behind me. She wormed an arm under me and pulled me into her. I could feel her breasts against my back, warm and soft. Her nipples were a bit hard against me, which felt good. It was different, unlike anything I had felt before. I felt comforted, safe and secure. I had never slept with a woman in any way, so this was a first. I thought I was too wound up to sleep but as I relaxed into her arms I began to relax and drift. Meredith murmured soothing words into my ear until I fell asleep.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 7

I awoke shaking and sweating, tangled in my sheets. My dreams had been filled with lots of nightmares, of taunting and beatings by faceless jocks or being exposed and laughed at by faceless girls. I remembered half-waking a few times through the night, to be calmed and soothed by Meredith. I vaguely recalled her holding me and murmuring in my ear. She was still curled about me, breathing softly. She looked like she had slept well. Lucky her.

I had dreams of falling, of being discovered and beaten, of being trapped, of the masks to my soul being ripped away painfully. I shuddered; some of them had been so graphic. The blood and the pain and the sound of the taunts and jeers filled my ears. I was scared. Was this the life I had agreed to? Was this my future? Did I set myself up to be found out to be some sort of fake thing, a play woman? What would happen if they found me out? I could feel the stress rising and the beginnings of another panic attack. It was harder to breathe, my heart racing.

Meredith murffled in my ear and rolled over. She brushed some hair from her face and looked at me. “Wha time is it?”

I glanced over at the red lights of my clock. “uhrm….about eight?”

“In the morning?” She rose up on an elbow and looked confused.

“Usually.” I shook again. My heart beat was starting to slow down. Meredith said she would help me deal with this and I trusted her. I tried to fix my breathing but it still came out a bit ragged.

Meredith hugged me again. “It’s going to be alright Caitlin! I‘m here. It’ll be alright.”

I turned and hugged her back. She felt soft and safe against me. I shook and started to cry again. I was so jangled up inside. I felt her hand run through my hair. “Hush sweetie. It’ll be okay. Let’s talk about this.”

I nodded. I felt the bed move and Meredith was brushing my back as she stood. “Come on Richard, let’s get up and get you cleaned up.”

I nodded and felt numb and shook a little. She pulled me to my feet, as I wasn’t sure I could stand. Nightmares always messed me up for a while and this time it seemed worse than usual. “Let’s get you into the shower.”

“uhrm...” I stumbled over to my bath stuff and grabbed my towel. Meredith picked up my shampoo and things and carried them for me. Since my eyes were blurry with tears she steered me through the hallway and into the bathroom. There were a couple of girls who had finished their showers who Meredith gestured to leave. Soon we were alone in the bathroom.

She forced me to sit on the bench and then she started one of the showers. After she was done adjusting the temperature she undressed me, pulling my nightgown over my head. She helped me to my feet and gently pushed me inside.

The warm water was soothing, and it flowed down my front. I leaned forward and held my weight by my arms on the shower wall, the water soaking my head and running down my face as rivulets. I was wrung out emotionally. It had taken me a while to realize that and to figure out that I needed a break. “Meredith?”

“Yes?” She answered from outside the stall.

“I think I need a break. Is there some way I can just relax all day?” my voice was plaintive. I felt like I was whining and I hated that.

“Sure. Let me just make a call. I can get us into my sister’s spa for a day of pampering. She always has a few spots free for friends and family. We can get Massage and hot tubs and having our hair and nails done. Basically the whole day is taken care of. They even feed us. And it is an hour long massage. Isn’t that cool?” Meredith seemed excited. It was obvious that she had done this before and had really enjoyed it.

I grunted non-committaly. The massage sounded good however, as did the hot tub. Meredith might have come up with a plan that could work. I could hear her dialing her cell phone as I began to wash. “Can I speak to Tanya? Thank you. Tanya? Hey, Caitlin and I want to come in for the spa day thing. Yep, the whole day. We’ll be in about an hour from now, is that okay? Great. Will Caitlin get the discount as well? You rock. I love you sis. See you soon.”

I stood there and listened. Another adventure. Maybe this would actually be a rest instead another chance for Richard to screw himself over. I really couldn’t take anymore surprises and emotional trauma. I was determined to take it and not quit. It would be too easy to quit and it would show that I wasn’t a man of my word. I just hated that having given my word had ended with me here.

I left the shower feeling a little more alive. I was ushered back into the room and Meredith shut the door. “Okay. Since we are going to be naked for part of the whole spa day I was going to help you with another thing I made. This should help keep you from being found out by anyone there.”

She pulled out a section of fake flesh with some hair on it. There was a sleeve on one side and a slit on another. It looked really odd just sitting there all limp and floppy. Then I figured out what I was looking at. “Holy Christ, is that a…”

Meredith smiled her evil smile, which I was getting used to. “Yep. I was keeping it as a surprise. I know you need a break, so I am treating you to a day at the spa, since I am technically your keeper. It is an all day pamper event. And once this has been put on no one should notice anything that would tell them something other than what they are to be led to believe. And for the massage, have them only work on your back. That way you can get the majority of your tension out and not have to stress about them figuring it out.”

I nodded dumbly. She had me lie down on the bed and she rubbed some sort of cream on my penis and testicles. It was tingly and cold. It felt really odd. Then she pushed the testicles in and up and slid me into the sleeve. She then used the same adhesive that was being used for my breasts. With some minor adjusting and tugging she finally got it set correctly on my crotch. She held it there for a moment and then stood. She then had me stand and look at myself in the mirror.

I looked like a woman, everywhere. Oh my God, what the hell was going on? My head swooned and she helped me back to the bed. “It’s okay. Just relax. Let’s get you into some comfy clothes and head out for this. It will all be okay. Trust me.”

I got dressed with her help and then we headed to her room to get her things. She quickly changed and we headed out. Despite how much the things Meredith had made and attached to me. “I’m not sure of this, Meredith?”

“Why? This will be nice. Your hair and nails are fine so we can go for facials and scalp massages, maybe a couple of other things. It will help you relax. Come on Richard, have you ever been pampered? Taken care of, like this? Ever?” Meredith stopped and turned to face me.

“No. I’m just worried.” I couldn’t really look her in the eyes.

“Let me take care of that. I know how wrung out you are. I am just trying to help you relax and feel good. My treat, as I said before. And we can talk about you continuing this or not. This is not supposed to be some sort of emotional torture for you. Honest.” She looked as sincere as I had ever seen her. Maybe this would work out.

I nodded. “Okay. I am just so confused right now. I guess I didn’t really think this whole thing out as well as I had thought. I certainly hadn’t expected this.”

“That’s okay. I still think you can do this. I know its four years of your life, but you will have all of the girls of the house helping you in school and anything else you need. The new girls will not learn about this, probably ever, unless you tell them. We have all agreed to this already.”

“That’s good to know. I know the house didn’t want to get embarrassed but I don’t want to either. I think I am getting worried about getting caught. It scares me.” I shook a little. I think some of my nightmares had been about that. Just thinking about the situation made my heart beat faster and my breath catch.

“Caitlin, I will do everything I can to keep you from getting caught. I swear. I have actually put a lot of thought into this and talked about this with the others. I don’t want you hurt, and the other girls don’t want that either. Right now we are working on trying what to do to get a guy to be your escort for things who is not a threat. You’ll need an escort for some functions. Relax. I am doing all I can to take care of this one.”

My eyes widened. What the fuck? “A guy?”

“Yes. But don’t worry. I am working on this to come up with a pain free solution for you. You won’t have to do anything you don’t want to, I promise. Don’t think about it right now. Besides we are supposed to be relaxing.”

We were pulling into the parking lot of the spa salon where her sister worked. That put the conversation on hold for the moment. Meredith’s sister was outside waiting for us. She waved as she spotted the car. “Hey there sis. Morning Caitlin.”

Meredith went up and gave Tanya a hug. She smiled at her sister and said. “Thanks for pulling this together. Caitlin has had a rough couple of days and really needs to relax. And of course I thought that this would be the best way to relax.”

Tanya rolled her eyes. She was used to her sister’s games. “Okay Merri. Caitlin, are you okay?”

I just nodded my head. I really didn’t feel like talking. I needed to think, and I was here as much as I could be. If this turned out to be as relaxing as Meredith said than it would be worth being here. If not, then maybe I needed to just quit and admit that I couldn’t hack this.

Tanya escorted us inside. Two girls in pale pink cover ups were waiting for us. “Ladies this is April and May. That is really their names. They will be taking care of you all day. Oh, and Merri, I booked you both the ultra deluxe package.”

The blond April smiled and gestured down one hallway. “If you would both come this way we can show you to your lockers and get you both into the hot tub.”

I looked over at Meredith and she nodded slightly. She also looked a bit pinched around the eyes. This might be expensive, but given that she was part of the source of my suffering I wasn’t too upset by that. We walked deeper into the place and shown into a changing room. May, the brunette, pointed out our lockers and handed us two robes. “Here you go. Once you are ready come on out and we’ll take you to the hot tub.”

I took off my sweats and underwear, folded them and put them in the locker. The robe fell to mid thigh. It was comfy but I was a touch worried about how much it could show. Meredith was also ready. “Come on girl. Let’s relax.”

I followed her out and down the hall with our helpers. They opened the door to the hot tub room. The room was dimly lit, with candles burning. The room also seemed to have scented oil in the air. The room itself was soothing. The water was bubbling happily. I sighed. Maybe Meredith was right and that this would be good for me.

April said, “Please get in and soak. We will come and get you both in about twenty minutes. Then we’ll take you to get your massages. Enjoy.”

With that she closed the door. Meredith smiled at me as she took off her robe. I took in her naked both and smiled, she was beautiful. However, I didn’t feel any response from my penis. What had she slathered on me? “Come on Caitlin. In we go.”

The water was hot, but comfortable. I sat with one of the jets against my back. I could feel the tension in my back begin to relax as the jet worked its magic. Meredith moaned happily and wiggled a bit, probably to get better positioned. “Okay, if the thought of having a guy as a date is too much, I guess we can go with plan two which is to tell people that you are a lesbian. That has its own problems but we can deal with that.”

“This is just overwhelming. I just need some time to think about everything. Right now I am not sure about anything so I don’t think I can make that decision yet.” I said, with my eyes still closed. The room smelled wonderful. I think I was actually starting to relax. Meredith really could come up with good ideas. We both just sat there and blissfully relaxed while she left me alone with my thoughts.

After what seemed like only a short period of time the two girls came into the room with two towels. They held them out for us. “Alright ladies, here are your towels.”

Here was the big test of Meredith’s latex thingy. We stood up and got out and the girls didn’t even blink at my appearance. The towels they wrapped around us were warmed, as if they were fresh out of the dryer. I sighed happily. That felt great. I really needed to be able to do that more often. We fastened the towels around us and then pulled on the robes. The girls then led us to another room as short walk away. Two other women were there. Meredith smiled at them. “We would like only our backs worked on.”

The women nodded. “If you could just disrobe and lie down, that will be great. Also could you pull the sheet over you? We will be back in a moment.”

Once they left Meredith dropped her robe and towel on a chair and hopped up onto her massage table. I looked around the room at all the odd things around the room. I wondered what was going to be used and what wasn’t. I followed Meredith’s example and pulled the sheet over me. We lay there a short while, just resting. It was a nice change of pace from having to constantly follow the girl’s directions.

The women knocked on the door and came on in. “First we are going to give you a rock massage and then work on your backs. Is that okay?”

“Yep, sounds great. Let’s get started.” replied Meredith. I sat there and thought what the hell is a rock massage? I had no idea but I was sure I was going to find out.

The massage therapist rolled the sheet down, exposing my whole back. I heard her open something and then a warm to almost hot rock was placed onto my back. The heat seeped into my back and felt really good. ‘This is odd’ I thought.

A number of rocks were placed onto my back. The heat of them radiated into my already warmed back from the hot tub and my muscles were relaxing. I started to drift off to sleep, or at least to get in that state between sleeping and waking. Was this what being stress free was like? After several minutes she removed them and began to run one of the rocks over my back, slick with oil. ‘This isn’t so bad. So, what should I do about this? Do I want to be a girl for four years? Would that really be bad? I have already been one for a while and it hasn’t been that bad. But would I want to be a guy again after four years when this is over? Will I lose myself?’

I felt the massage therapist roll the sheet up my back. She then rolled it up my legs and I felt the rocks return. God this rock thing was nice. As the tension drained from my body I thought over my life so far. ‘What have I really done with my life? I know I don’t like things that are unfair. They really get me mad. But what can I do about that? Become a lawyer? That way I could help people get to their equality. But what about me right now? What do I want?’

After she finished rubbing my legs with the warm rock I felt her hands begin to work on my feet. The oil was warm as well. It felt wonderful. I hadn’t realized how tight the muscles in my feet were. How had I managed to have that much tension in my feet? ‘I have always wanted to be happy and to have friends. I never had that many friends in High School as people viewed me as an outcast. And in the sorority I already have several friends. I have people who know me and seem to like me as I am. If I quit this whole thing, I am back in the same situation I was when I got here. But do I want it enough to be a girl?’

She moved to work on my legs. Her hands were strong and felt nice on my hairless skin. She was finding knots of pain that I didn’t even know I had. I sighed happily. ‘What is wrong with being a girl? Is there anything wrong with being one? I don’t think so. It’s just a way of being, that’s it. I mean. Half the world lives like that and they seem fine for the most part. But will it be too much for me to handle. I am a boy and I only really know boy things. But I am learning to be a girl. Living like a girl for four years won’t kill me, will it? So maybe I should simply give it a try, to actually see how girls live and are treated by the rest of society. I mean I know they get the short end of the stick in terms of equality. Now I can live that, to know what I can fight for. I can go back to being me after this is over and I’ll be the better for the experience.’

The sheet was rolled back down my legs. It felt warm. Then my back and butt was exposed and she started to rub there. Why where my butt muscles all tense? More and more it seemed like I really had no clue how to relax. ‘I get to see Meredith and maybe I can find a way to go out with her. She said she was interested. Maybe I can ask about that and find out if there is a way to be a girl and to have her? It might be a good compensation for all of this.’

My thoughts faded as I drifted asleep, as the massage soothed everything.

I woke with a gentle nudge to my shoulder. The massage therapist was saying, “Miss, wake up.”

I blinked awake and turned to face the massage therapist. What was her name? I nodded and wiped a bit of drool from my lip. I must have really relaxed.

Meredith was being woken as well. I laughed a little at that. We both got back to the upright position, holding the sheets to us. The girls left the room and left us to put our robes back on. I happily got to see Merri’s naked body again.

“So what do you think so far?” asked Meredith, as she stretched towards the ceiling.

“I feel great. And to think that we still have more ahead is wonderful.” I smiled happily at her.

The knock at the door let us know that the girls were ready to come back in. I opened the door and we both walked out. “This way please.”

We followed them to yet another room. They opened the door and led us into a room with several tables. A lunch was set up there. I was wondering how long this had been going on. My stomach rumbled a little and I saw a clock. Two and a half hours?! I was surprised by how long the massage and the hot tub had taken. They had only said twenty minutes for the tub and then an hour for the massage. Wait, the rock thing. That could have added to the time.

The table was set and had two salads on it and glasses of water. We sat and May handed us menus. There wasn’t a lot of stuff on them. The pick was from either a steak meal, a chicken meal, a shrimp meal or some fish thing. The shrimp dish sounded good so I ordered that with ice tea to drink. Meredith got the fish.

They brought us an Italian vinaigrette dressing for our salads. We spooned it onto our salads, which was a first for me. It smelled good. The salad was crisp and tasty. Meredith dug into her salad ravenously.

“Meredith?” I was really nervous about this, but now was as good as any. I was going to take this chance.

“Yes?” She looked up from her salad.

“Can…can I ask you something?”

“Sure. What is it?” She looked concerned, as if something bad was happening.

“Were you serious about saying that you liked me, and not just as a friend?” The words rushed out of my mouth, as I was too nervous to say them slowly.

Meredith blushed and looked away. “Well, that was unexpected.”

“Well?” I was completely nervous about her answer. I was really interested in her and she had said she was interested in me, so….

“Uhm…yes. I really do like you and I think you and I can really hit it off. I’m bisexual, so you actually feed both of my interests as you are right now.” She was really looking at her lunch, as if she could figure out the molecular composition of the lettuce leaves.

“Do you think we can be in a relationship while I am going through this?” This was the question I was really afraid of.

She thought about it for a little, chewing her salad thoughtfully. After she swallowed she looked at me. “I think it can be done and not cause a problem in the House. We’ll have to be discrete and we should go out with some guys every once in a while, to muddle the picture. I really don’t want to make anyone in the House nervous. Would that be okay?”

I nodded as my heart soared. A really hot girl wanted to go out with me. “I think I can deal with that. I just am not sure how much attention I can take from guys. It is a bit scary.”

“That is always the question, Caitlin. Let’s just enjoy today and we can talk about this more back at the House.”

The girls arrived with our lunches at that point. My shrimp curry over rice with steamed vegetables was wonderful. Meredith had a dish made with Tilapia on saffron rice with black beans, cheese and a tomatillio salsa on it. She also had the steamed vegetables. Conversation was delayed due to how good the food was. I was relaxing and no longer stressing over this whole thing. I could do this. I could be a girl if it meant I got Meredith. It could all balance out.

Once we finished we were given small dishes of a tropical fruit sorbet. It was tasty. We both finished that happily, trying to scoop every last bit of it out. We washed down the desert with our drinks and stood. My muscles were still feeling relaxed and warm from the massage. I could really get used to this sort of treatment. This part of being a girl was great, but then a guy could get all of this as well. Well, maybe not all of it.

The next stop was for facials and pedicures. That should be fun. I was wondering what all sorts of things went into some sort of spa facial treatment. I was sure I was going to find out.

College Girl
By poetheather

Chapter 8

I felt good. This whole thing might not be so bad when all was said and done. She liked me. Meredith liked me and was interested in going out with me. I was floating on the air. Add to that the fact that my body never felt so good and it was easy to see why I was feeling that way.

Meredith looked over at me as we followed our guides, noticing my goofy grin. “What is it?”

“Nothing. I just feel great. Thank you for this Merry.” I hugged her tight.

She hugged back and laughed, “Now I feel like a hobbit.”

I joined in with her. It felt good to simply relax. Maybe this whole thing wouldn’t be so bad, as long as I didn’t loose myself in the process. With Merry as my girlfriend I might be able to do this, so long as puberty held off. And knowing family history I shouldn’t get my hopes up anytime soon.

We were led into a room with a number of barber’s chairs. We sat down next to each other and then two women came up to us. Like everyone here they were smiling. “Ready for your facials?”

We both nodded yes and the ladies went to work. They applied this mud masque thing to our faces. It began to warm which was surprising. The feeling was nice but different. I had never felt anything quite like this in my entire life. Guys never really had things like facials and I had never heard of a spa day. But maybe this was just something that was missing. I enjoyed it. Wouldn’t other guys enjoy it as well? I just lay back and drifted away with these feelings of relaxation.

* * * * * *

I felt much more relaxed as we headed back towards the house. I had never felt so pampered and taken care of in my life. I felt like my body glowed. I even felt like the tightness of my back had relaxed. That massage certainly had helped. I didn’t feel as freaked out as I had the day before, which really was a wonderful feeling.

I could do this. I really could do this for four years and walk on. Merry and I were a couple now and she would help me make it through this. I lay on my bed looking at the ceiling going over my various worries. None of them were messing with my inner calm at the moment, so that was fine. Dinner would be in a while but for now I was just enjoying life. Hell, I even was enjoying what I was wearing, despite the uncomfortable nature of being tucked and I was even getting used to that.

As I looked over my life I found that I had no real complaints about my life to this point. And that was a little weird. I figured that I might be a little sad about the way things had turned out, but I wasn’t. Except for the tables being excellently turned on me by the women of this sorority my life had gone as I had planned. I still had some trouble believing that I was actually going to go through with this sorority thing, but I still had some time to go before school started. If I couldn’t cope, I could just start my life again. I could start classes in the Spring. I was still Richard, but I think I was also becoming Caitlin. That was no longer scaring me any more.

I had been writing all of these observations in my journal when there was a knock at my door. I looked up and Merry was smiling at me. “Hey, ready for dinner?”

“Sure. Just a second.” I put my journal away and made sure I looked alright. My face was still glowing from the facial. I felt wonderful. I stretched, letting my muscles move happily.

Merry looked awesome as well. “Come on slowpoke. I don’t want to get the last of the food.”

“What?” I was confused again.

“It’s House Dinner night. Come on. I think we are having Thai tonight. The Pad Thai goes really fast.”

I followed her through the house quickly and we were near the middle of the group of arriving girls. It was indeed Thai night and the food was excellent. Besides the Pad Thai there was some sort of Shrimp and Pineapple Curry and Chicken Satay. I happily ate my fill as many of the other girls were as well.

There seemed to be more girls here then I had seen earlier. It seemed as if more Sisters appeared to get here in time for Rush week, at least that was what I figured was going on. There was an excited buzz in the air about the upcoming Rush class. I managed to hear my name mentioned a few times in some of the other conversations around me. I wondered if that was good or bad. I hoped it would be good.

Merry took off to talk with some other people and I was left to fend for myself. I wasn’t too worried. I knew I looked and sounded like a girl thanks to their help so now would just be a chance to get to know some of the others. They were all usually busy so maybe tonight I would get a chance to talk to a few more of them. I looked around wondering what group I should go and join.

A few of the girls came over and sat with me. That was nice. They started off talking and tried to draw me into the conversation. They were talking about their classes and what they were looking forward to this semester. I mentioned that I had already had an amazing semester and school hadn’t even started. We all laughed at that.

I got a good idea about a lot of their feelings and opinions on men, sex, their periods and several other topics which I had rarely been privy to. I did think it was interesting though having discussions that revolved around how cute Brad Pitt’s ass was took some getting used to. I could understand why he was “Cute” but I just didn’t get it. Hopefully, I never would.

Merry came back and she and Gwen joined in on the conversation. I was learning a lot. I had never really gotten to hear girls talk amongst themselves. I realized that there actually had been a lot of editing going on when I sat in on conversations before. That was another realization. Why was that I wondered? I know most guys didn’t care about much more then themselves, but not all guys? Some guys would have had no trouble listening to this conversation and being supportive. So why the differences?

Maybe it had something to do with types of intimacy? It was easier talking about intimate things with people like you rather than those unlike you. That seemed to make sense. Maybe it was right. I paused, thinking it through some more. If that was so, then what did it mean that I felt more comfortable talking with girls? Oh God.

The conversation turned to something else then and aimed pretty squarely at me. It really took me by surprise and threw me out of my current train of thoughts.

“So Caitlin, you do know that you are going to have to go on some dates, right?” asked Rachel, a sophomore.

“Uhm, yeah. Meredith told me about that.” I knew that. What was so bad about dates that they wanted to make sure I was aware of it?

“Because an active social life is a part of life for a sorority girl. We have formals, semi-formals and parties of all kinds. So it kind of helps to have a guy with you, if for no other reason than to keep off the other guys.” remarked Allison.

“I have to actually date guys?” The question squeaked out. I could feel my back and neck tighten up. I hadn’t thought about that part of things. This was not a good plan. I wasn’t gay and had no interest in guys.

“Well, you could date girls, but we try to keep things like that quiet and in house. We don’t want to get the rep of being the Lez house. The Kappa Delts have earned that distinction and they get a lot of grief for it. And besides Caitlin, its not like you have to get romantically involved with them. It’s not that bad. Dates can be fun.” said Alison smiling.

Meredith nodded in agreement then added, “Caitlin, remember you are no longer a guy but a woman. Women are expected to date men, especially in a Sorority setting. Don’t you think that being taken out on a date where the other person spends money on you and tries to make you feel good so you’ll smile would be fun?”

I nodded. It didn’t sound all that bad when she said it. That’s what worried me. “But what about kissing and sex. I should know that guys want sex. I’m not sure if I can deal with any of that.”

The girls at the table laughed at what I said. Gwen smiled and said, “It’s all in the manipulating of a guy and making sure that you don’t come on too strong. There really is a way of dealing with things and managing the cues you send out. We can definitely help you with that. It’s not like we plan on throwing you to the wolves unarmed.”

Allison smiled as well, I was so glad I could bring amusement to my friends. “Besides we can tell people that you have never really dated before because your parents would not let you do that while in High School. That would explain your nervousness and skittishness. People can try and go on double dates with you to keep you out of trouble until you learn the ropes. See, we all look out for each other.”

Meredith jumped in, “And if it comes time for something more, you’ll know it and can cope with it from there. Besides, a kiss can go from a peck to a full passionate lip lock. Just don’t get naked, well, maybe down to your bra but we set your limits and you keep them. Personally, I really enjoy kissing and getting felt up by someone gentle. It’s nice.”

I hoped I hadn’t blushed when she said that. I really didn’t want to give things away, what with us being a couple and everything. Maybe later, after I had been comfortably in the Sorority for a while. That way the other girls wouldn’t kill me. I hoped.

“Absolutely,” added Gwen, helpfully. “And there is really nothing quite as nice as giving a blowjob. I love it when they spurt.”

A couple of the girls made ick noises and laughed. I may have turned green. I don’t know, but just the image of a guy spurting in my mouth made me gag a little. “Gwen! We’re trying to help Caitlin get ready for possible kissing not deep throating!”

The laughter got louder and I turned bright red. I was getting nervous about this whole crazy thing again but I was a bit better than before. I knew I didn’t look like a guy. My hair was different and I didn’t look anything like I had before. I realized that no one could see Richard any more, even me. So I guess I could understand their point. Guys probably would be interested and I would need to deal with them from a girl’s stand point. That certainly didn’t make me happy but I could manage. I hoped.

Nadia came in and joined us. “Hey there. Caitlin, I have your new class schedule. It is pretty much the same, except we have you in classes with someone from the Sorority all day. That way there will be someone there to help you take care of things. We don’t want to throw you into the deep end too early.”

I took the sheet of paper she offered and looked over it quickly. The only thing that had changed on my schedule was the times I was taking things. I could live with that. I had half expected to be taking nothing but ballet and women’s studies classes. Again these girls were surprising me. No wonder they had been able to trap me in my own words. “Thanks.”

“No problem. And next week we have Rush events. So be ready for those.” said Nadia as she took a seat.

“Like what?” I had no idea what to expect. I had done some research when I had started this thing, but apparently there had been massive holes in the information that really was available. Man this had been a stupid idea. I should have gone after a Fraternity.

“Cookouts, a semi-formal at the end of the week. Basically it is a chance for the girls of the house to meet and get an idea of the other girls trying to join the house. As someone who has already been accepted by a House you will be going just to get to know the other Houses. It has already been agreed on by the Pan-Hellenic council. So you just get to go and have fun, meeting new people as Caitlin.”

“Oh…” What else could I say? They had basically managed to direct my life so there was really nothing I could say or argue about.

“And here are your new IDs. We have your school ID and a driver’s license for you. Everything else we figured you could handle.” She slid an envelope over to me.

I opened it and looked at my new face looking back at me. There they were, my new name and look staring up at me from these pieces of identification. Things were definitely different now. It was like my new identity had taken on some more weight and substance. This wasn’t just a game anymore. The girls had taken it to a new level.

I swallowed nervously. I could do this. I knew I could. But this was getting more and more involved. Meredith left to go arrange for us to go out tomorrow night with some guys she knew, in order to get me used to the idea in a safe environment. I was going to go out on a date with a guy. A guy! When I stuck my foot in it I didn’t do it by halves.

College Girl
By poetheather

Chapter 9

The sun was really warm on my back as I lay there on the back lawn of the house. I was propped up on my elbows and reading one of the magazines that I had been assigned. I wasn’t keen on articles on how to please my man, or many other things but I was sure there was some sort of purpose for all of this. At least I hoped there was. As long as they didn’t test me on “20 ways to please your man in Bed” I would be fine.

The only thing I thought was weird was the whole wearing a bikini to sunbathe. First off I had never sunbathed before and then never wearing something that I felt quite so exposed in. It was a bit nerve wracking to walk out of the house in that outfit and lie down. I felt like there were people all over the place watching me. Meredith and Gwen wouldn’t let me cover up. They said something about it being normal but I was too weirded out still by the clothes to care.

I had mentioned this to Gwen who had laughed. “Yeah, I understand that Caitlin. For a large part, that is why we moved our sunbathing back here. For a while we would sunbathe on the front lawn, since it is more open and gets better sun, but guys would then start to drive by and just start oogling. So we moved to here. It has been quieter.”

“That couldn’t have been fun.” I said, thinking about how uncomfortable that had to have been, guys driving up and down the street staring at me. I shuddered.

“It wasn’t. You end up feeling like a piece of meat, like something for their enjoyment, not real. A lot of the time most guys look at you like an object and not a person. You’ll get used to it over time. It’s not like you have any choice.” She replied, irritation clear.

I shuddered some. Did I really want to get used to that? If it was a part of life as a girl did I really think I could take being looked at like a thing? If a girl could do that surely I could. Couldn’t I?

Gwen spoke up, breaking my reflection of earlier conversations. “Caitlin, you need to roll over. You have cooked enough on one side, so it’s time to flip.”

I rolled over and put my magazine down. After the spa yesterday, this level of relaxing was nice. Just feeling the sun bake my skin was great, it was very sensual. The feel of the bikini bottom was odd, however, and I reached down my hands and tugged it more in place. Once it felt better I put my head down and rested.

This whole thing has been odd and fun. Time was passing slowly for me as there were all sorts of new things to learn and experience. Each day had something new, at least several things. I was enjoying it now once things shifted away from a really uncomfortable place of first coping with this. I was getting better with this whole thing. It was something more than I had thought but it was getting less odd.

I just tried to be comfortable with things. I didn’t know where I was going with this whole social experiment I had stumbled into, but it was definitely more interesting than being who I had been. As Richard I was practically a non-entity for the most part. I was invisible. But now I was definitely more visible. My clothes were different, I stood out more. I was a bit uncomfortable with that but Meredith and Gwen seemed to know what they were doing for the most part, as did the rest of the girls.

I smiled when I thought of Meredith. She was really going out of her way to make me feel comfortable with things. She was beautiful and smart and amazing and she wanted to be with me. I wasn’t really sure what to do with that but it did make me smile. If dressing like this helped me with Meredith than I could live with being a girl. Though I wasn’t sure what I would do once I graduated. Would I stay like this? Would I be able to return to my life?

“Caitlin?”

I shaded my face with a hand and looked up at the voice. “Yes?”

Nadia was looking down at me. “Are you free after lunch?”

I nodded. “I think so. As far as I know I only have classes this morning. Is it something important?”

She smiled and shook her head. “No. I just want to talk to you is all. See you after lunch.”

With that she turned and headed back into the house. Meredith was coming out and I saw the two of them talk a little. I was wondering what was up but I was a bit too warm and comfortable to stress over anything.

Meredith walked up and stood off to the side, out of my light. “Hey, Caitlin!”

I smiled as I looked up at her. “What?”

“Time to stop baking and come inside. Get changed, we have some things to do.” With that she turned and headed back inside. I sighed, no rest for the weary.

I stood up and adjusted my bikini bottom again. Didn’t those things ever stay in place? I grabbed my towel and headed inside. Meredith swatted my butt as I walked past her and I yelped, jumping forward. She laughed and I grumbled as I headed upstairs, rubbing my sore ass. The shower did feel really nice after the sun though. I didn’t wash my hair as I didn’t want to have to dry it again. Taking care of long hair was really a bit of a pain, especially doing it the way they showed me how to do it.

I rubbed in lotion and brushed out my hair. That was definitely one of the things I liked about this. I got dressed in a light blue sundress with flowers and butterflies that I really liked. I would have preferred it to be on Meredith or even Gwen but I did think I looked good in it. The changes they had made to me certainly made me look like the girl I was supposed to be. I put on a pair of strappy sandals and headed downstairs. More unending torture with classes I was sure.

And it certainly was that. They were now leading me through the long drawn out process of creating of a female history. I learned about periods, puberty, masturbation, crushes, boys and all sorts of other things that I had never thought about, like what the hell was a horse girl? Thankfully they decided I wasn’t one. I figured I liked faeries better. But I had no idea why that was important, but when they started talking about all the faerie stuff that we would get I was starting to get the idea. Apparently some of these developmental phases affected you for a long time. It almost felt like I had lost out some experiences. Once this was created I was supposed to memorize it, to have reference material.

I was also given more books for reading and study. I had no idea what Reviving Ophelia was about but I had to read it. And I was also given some book called Manifesta. I was told it was good but different, about something called Third Wave Feminism. School was definitely starting early for me this year. At least that book wasn’t some sort of romance novel. However I was told I had to read Rhapsody at some point. Some sort of Fantasy Adventure Romance novel. I was told it was good and that I would enjoy it. I wasn’t sure. This whole thing kept getting more and more involved as things went on. If I didn’t have all this help there is no way I could have pulled this off on my own.

They worked some more on my moving and standing and the way I held my arms and hands and books and everything. I would have screamed but it wouldn’t have really helped me in the long run. If I wanted to be here I would have to play by their rules and I did want to be here. Thankfully, compared to the whole history thing it wasn’t half bad.

After a few hours of this, it was lunch time. I really liked my chicken salad with some sort of bleu cheese vinaigrette on it. That was so good that I really wanted more. There were tomatoes and other things in it as well and plenty of chicken. I liked it and I had never had a dressing like it before. Thankfully it was a large salad, as I was quite hungry. I was really starting to like salads for lunch but then you can get used to anything over time.

Several of the girls and I were talking about various movies that were out. They were talking about several films I hadn’t seen and several of the summer blockbusters that I had. I never had really thought about girls going on their own to action films before. The things they remembered were a bit different than my own observations. I actually got a different kind of appreciation of the films from the conversation. It made me want to see them again so I could try and spot what they spotted. The girls did seem to think and see things differently than I did. It made me wonder if it was learned or innate.

As we chatted I saw Nadia wave to me from the doorway. I nodded to her and said my goodbyes to everybody else. As I headed over Nadia turned and headed towards the room where we had met the first time. I was really wondering what was going on.

It must have shown on my face. She smiled as she took a seat. “Relax Caitlin; there is nothing to worry about. You aren’t in any trouble. I have heard nothing but praise from the girls and most of them agree that this was a good idea so far. I was just worried about you. Meredith told me about the problems you were having and I have been concerned.”

“I’m fine, really.” I replied quickly. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to talk about these things with the woman who could end this with a word.

“I know this probably isn’t the easiest thing for you to do Caitlin, but I have been extremely impressed and I have been sending reports to National about you and what you have been doing. They are impressed as well. But why don’t you tell me what has been bothering you lately?” she rested a hand on my knee, something I had come to understand as a gesture of compassion and caring.

I sighed, no real choice at this point. And it really did seem as if Nadia did care about what was going on with me. “Alright, it is just going through this has been really odd. Sometimes I am not sure who I am any more. The other night was the worst it has been, but it is also keeping me up at night sometimes. This has put my head in a spin, to say the least. I feel lost more often than not, like I have no idea who I am.”

Nadia nodded her head. She really was very attractive and I liked her smile. It certainly seemed as if she did care. “Well, I guess this would be hard. Actually, I hadn’t thought about it too much. We have been worried about you bringing disrespect to our house so we may have been pushing you too hard. Honestly Caitlin, we don’t really know what we are doing with this. With Meredith’s help we are making things up to try and have you blend in without taking any permanent steps. We want you to do this on your own and not try to force you to do any of this. If it is too much we can stop, no harm no foul.”

I shook my head. I had endured too much to give up now. “I don’t want to quit. I gave my word to you and the other Sisters and I intend to keep it. If you had said no I would have taken you to court but you didn’t. I may not have started this with the full intention of joining but when you let me in I felt honor bound to accept. Otherwise, I would have been a hypocrite. There has been so much I have learned in the short time I have been here that its amazing. It hasn’t even been remotely easy but it has been interesting and fun.”

“What sort of problems are you having?” She actually looked concerned for me. I guess maybe she really was. None of the women of the House were mean or cruel, so maybe I could trust her.

“Well, I am still having issues with how I look. I look…odd. Sometimes it makes me think that I might not be me any more. But I am getting better with that. Meredith has definitely been helping with that. I also feel like I am breaking up at times and I don’t really want that. Maybe I haven’t had enough time to just relax.”

“We can fix that. You are doing so well we will move the classes and stuff to every other day until we think you have enough to fit in without being noticed. We, as a House, don’t want to be laughed at for letting a guy in. We have no problem with it, but National is afraid of the negative press and image that might portray. They are still trying to decide if this was a good idea. I hope we can show them that you are a man of your word and honestly want to be a Sister of this House.” She seemed really passionate about what she was saying. I had to agree with her as I didn’t want the grief that would come from being exposed as well. This had already gone to the point that it never could be lived down. I would have to move to another country as I was fairly certain I couldn’t get off planet.

“Thank you for that, Nadia. I just really haven’t had the time to just sit with all of this and feel it out for my self. And I want to do some normal stuff occasionally. If I am supposed to be one of the girls I need to relax into being a girl, not feel like I am cramming for a test all the time.”

She smiled at me. “Not a problem Caitlin…Richard…uhm...not a problem. Heh…I already think of you as one of the girls. You are worlds different than you where when you first came here. I like you and hope you can make it through this. And many of the other girls do as well. If you act in a way that is without fault then the ones who are worried might be able to cope with things.”

“I wasn’t aware that there were some people who didn’t want this?” I was worried a little bit. Would this cause trouble?

“Don’t worry about it. Meredith and Gwen assure me and the others that you are holding up their end of the bargain and that you are trying to become a Sister of this House. That is helping, as is your attitude. You also have a number of the other Sisters saying only good things about you.”

I smiled and felt my face grow warm. I had never really been praised before and I was getting really embarrassed. I looked at the floor and stammered. “Erm…thank you.”

She smiled again and laughed a little. “You go and enjoy yourself. Tonight should be fun.”

I turned and headed upstairs, waving as I went. About halfway up the flight of stairs it hit me...I would be going out with a guy tonight. I stumbled a bit at that realization but continued upstairs. I stopped at the top of the stairs and breathed deeply. I would be all right. Meredith wouldn’t let anything happen to me. She wouldn’t.

Gwen must have noticed something when I walked into the room because she helped me to my bed and got me to sit down. I barely noticed that until she hugged me. “It’ll be okay Caitlin. They’re only boys, nothing to be scared of. They shouldn’t even be that stinky.”

I calmed down some, but her breasts against my face did little to calm other things. I pulled away when I felt better, but I know my face was red, and I was very hard and very uncomfortable because of it. I turned away, feeling like I was unable to look at her. The whole thing was very awkward and I wished I could hide.

“Caitlin? What’s wrong?” Gwen was too perceptive for my own good.

“Uhm…that was a bit more exciting than I needed…” I caught her eyes, glanced down at my crotch and then back up.

She laughed and began apologizing. “I’m sorry Caitlin. Next time I’ll keep my boobs out of your face.”

We both laughed about that. “What do you want to do until it’s time to get ready for your date?”

“I am just going to sit and write in my journal a bit if that’s okay. I want to veg for a bit. Things have been far too action packed for me lately. I could use the down time.” I lay back against my pillows, reaching over for my journal.

She nodded. “Sounds good to me. I’m gonna run to Starbucks, want anything?”

“No thank you. Starbucks is evil.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to get into my rant about Starbucks.

“Okay…more for me. I’ll see you when I get back.” With that she grabbed her purse and headed out. She waved from the door.

I was alone in my room.

My room…with décor from the girls. What did I want? How would I decorate this room? I wasn’t sure. If I was supposed to be a girl, and considering how I looked it wasn’t really an option to be otherwise, what did I like? The questions earlier that day were running through my head. What did I like?

I actually didn’t know. Things had changed and some of my ideas had as well. I looked over my posters and other stuff. I did like my bear. That was really nice and very cuddly. It helped when I was feeling off or confused. She was amazingly helpful. My bear. She had become my bear. That was different. I had never had a bear or any other stuffed animal. And I was starting to like different things for décor. Maybe I could change my room around?

Also, I was coming to like wearing dresses, skirts and nightgowns. That was also a bit odd. The materials were so nice and they moved nicely against my hairless skin. Thinking back over my other clothes I felt so drab and boring and the material was so rough on my skin as well. There were a lot of things to be said about women’s clothes.

What the hell was happening to me? Was this bad? I actually liked some of this? Shouldn’t I hate this? I was…I am a guy, so shouldn’t I not like this stuff? Shouldn’t I be enraged by all the feminine things that surrounded me?

I shook my head to clear it. I was where I was. There was no shame in what I was doing. I was honoring my word and going through something that other guys could never imagine. I was living in a Sorority house. I took showers in the same room as other girls. It was really awesome. So it meant wearing the clothes of and living as a girl. The perks really seemed to be nice as well. And I have friends. Friends who might actually remain my friends after I leave this school. And my first ever girlfriend, but I am going to avoid telling Merri that one. Sometimes all of that was more important than the difficult things.

I just sat and relaxed, letting my thoughts drift away with me. I was getting better with dealing with this whole thing. Maybe I would even be able to cope with the fact that I was about to go on a date with a guy. Merri said she would make it up to me and arrange it so I would have a beard, whatever that meant. But Merri said she was going to try and find a way to cover me without my having to do anything really special. I probably should have been worried, but I am a sucker when it comes to Meredith. All she had to do was give me that smile and I would agree to anything.

I looked over at the clock and cursed. It was about time to start getting ready for tonight. Meredith had said casual, so I was going to wear a comfortable skirt and a nice airy blouse. The two looked really good together and their color was nice on me. They made me look good.

I also did up my makeup, a bit heavier than normal, doing my eyes and going for a darker lipstick. That would help as well. I styled my hair and slipped on some sandals that went with the outfit. Once I grabbed my purse I headed over to Meredith’s room and knocked on the door. I heard a muffled “Come in.”

Meredith was topless, getting her bra on. I smiled at this sight. “Evening Merri.”

She looked up as well and smiled. “Evening. You look wonderful. That is a great skirt. Are you ready for this?”

“I think so. I am willing to go through with it at any rate.”

She came up and hugged me. As she pulled back she brushed my face with her hand. “That’s my girl.”

I smiled and blushed, looking away.

She pulled on her blouse and grabbed her purse. “Let’s get going. Those two should be over here really soon.”

“You haven’t told me who this date is with.” I stated nervously.

“Oh, sorry. They are both friends of mine, Albert and Paul. They are both in a fraternity. Paul has a bit of a problem, as he is gay. Al knows but none of the other brothers know. I figured that if you had a ‘boyfriend’ who wasn’t going to do anything it would kill two birds with one stone. Besides he is really cute.”

“Won’t Al hit on you?”

“Doubtful, as I have already told him that I met someone over the summer, but that I wouldn’t mind going out with him as a friend. He is a nice guy and all of that but I really don’t want to do anything more with him than hang out occasionally. Besides, you are more my type you sexy thing.” With that she grabbed my ass. I yelped and she started laughing. “It’ll be fine Caitlin; I am not worried at all about you.”

“I am a bit worried, but if you think this whole thing is safe I guess I will believe you.” I was still not overly pleased with the whole going out on a date with a guy thing, but if she said it would be fine than I was going to believe her. If she was lying to me, I was in a world of hurt waiting to happen. If they ever decided to turn mean I would be so screwed.

Her cell phone phone rang.

“Yes? Great. Tell them will be right down.”

After she hung up the phone she turned to me smiling like the cat that ate the canary. “Let’s go girlfriend, our dates are here.”

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 10

I swallowed heavily. I was really nervous. I was going out on a date, my first date, and it was going to be with a guy. I followed Meredith down the stairs, my heart racing a mile a minute. It started racing faster when I actually saw our dates.

The two dark haired guys seemed to both be over six feet tall and have fairly athletic builds. They were the kind of guys I always wanted to become and hadn’t so far. They both were dressed alike in jeans, dress shirts and loafers. Their look screamed frat guys. If they found out about me I would get really hurt. That certainly didn’t help me stay calm.

Meredith walked up to one of them and hugged him tightly. The guy oofed as if his breath was being crushed from him. I felt a twinge of jealousy. That was my girl. “Hi Al.”

“Hey there Contrary. How does your garden grow?” His voice wasn’t as deep as I expected it. I guessed he sang tenor, if he sang at all. Yes, I had been in Choir, what?

“Not bad, lately. Al, this is Caitlin, she is new here and is going to pledge with us. Caitlin, this is Al, a good friend of mine in my theatre classes. Now that I completed this round, it is your turn Al.” She smiled broadly and reached up to ruffle his perfectly groomed hair. Albert looked like he was totally metrosexual and proud of it. If he was straight then he was probably one of the few in the Theatre department.

Al smiled broadly, with plenty of teeth and began talking like a game show host. It made me smile despite my nervousness. “Caitlin, allow me to introduce to you your date for this evening, Paul Devlin Smith. He likes long walks on the beach, drinking in hot tubs and giving long sensual massages. He will certainly rub you the right way. Say Hi to Paul.”

Paul had a sweet and shy smile. It was unsure and that showed in his eyes. I certainly had no idea that this guy could be gay. He looked like any of the jocks at my school. I wonder if this meant… “Hello Caitlin.”

He extended his hand towards me. I took it lightly and shook hands with him, just like I had been taught. “Hi Paul.”

My heart felt like it was in my throat. Paul had a deep, manly bass to his voice that sounded male in a way mine never had, even before Anne had altered it. Paul had deep blue eyes that seemed to look as nervous as I felt. The silence would have gone on as we nervously stared at each other if Meredith hadn’t jumped in. “So boys, us ladies were wondering what you had in store for us? Something fun, hopefully.”

Al smiled with his too perfect teeth. It was almost creepy, like a demonic used car salesman. “Paul and I were thinking perhaps we could go for the old stand by, dinner and a movie?”

Meredith glanced at me, arching an eyebrow in question. I shrugged. It didn’t matter to me as I was too busy trying to breathe and cope with my racing heart. I don’t think I had ever been so nervous in my entire life. Okay, besides coming to this Sorority the first time, it was definitely the worst. Besides, like my opinion actually mattered here, I just wanted to stay home and nibble on Meredith. “Well…that might just work. Where did you want to take us for food?”

“I was thinking about BBQ. Sound good?” stated Al.

“No way! How about Chinese?” countered Meredith.

“Ugh! No! Mexican?” returned Al.

“No! Denney’esque?” smacked back Merri.

Al thought a moment, looked at Paul and then nodded. “Sure, why not. Shall we?”

Meredith took my arm and led the way down the front steps to where Albert’s car was parked. It was a nice, sane four door Ford, not the massive SUV or race car I had imagined. So much for stereotypes. I got in back with Paul and Meredith took the passenger seat and off we went.

Thus began the small talk. Paul and Meredith chattered on about things with Paul and me occasionally throwing in our two cents worth on those rare occasions when they both had to breathe. We chattered through dinner as well, with Paul and me gradually adding more to the conversation, until by the end of dinner we were all talking easily together. On the ride to the movie theatre, Paul tentatively reached out his hand to touch mine, concealed to look like anything but that. The skin of his palm was somewhat coarse and damp on my smooth, soft hand.

My heart started pounding in my throat again. I thought about what Meredith said and decided to play along. I took his hand gently, fingers touching and crossed. His hand was warm on mine. When we reached the theatre Albert and Meredith walked in holding each other across the shoulders. Paul and I were holding hands, but too embarrassed to look at each other.

It felt good to be holding his hand. Confusing, but also comforting. His hand was larger than mine and made me think of holding hands with my mother when I was smaller. We ended up holding hands through the whole film, some romantic comedy that was good at the time but I don’t even remember what it was about. It felt nice when I just relaxed and let Meredith’s advice to just let things happen take hold. I felt comforted and secure, wanted in a way I never had felt before. Meredith kept looking over at me and Paul smiling. She was pleased so I must have passed what ever odd test she had concocted.

The movie ended and the group of us headed over to a coffee shop that was near the theatre so we could chat some more. Paul and I sat close, our knees touching as we talked about school, places we had been and never had been, where we were from and where we wanted to go. I just told him about my life, editing facts whenever it felt necessary. It was easy and I didn’t feel too weird about it. By the time we returned to the house I did feel that Paul was a nice guy and that I liked him. It was a bit disturbing if I thought about it, so I just kept staying in the moment.

When we were at the front door of the house he hugged and kissed me lightly on the lips before the two of them left. While it felt nice, it did throw my mind into a whirl. His lips were warm and when he pulled me in I felt both weak and secure. I wasn’t sure what to do with that. I let him do that and I never fought back.

Once upstairs and safely in my room I started to fight back tears, my emotions a jangled mess. I was upset because Albert and Paul were what I would never be, even when puberty eventually started. Now I felt like I was less then them. I was nothing like them. And to top it all off I felt somewhat attracted to Paul. What the fuck was going on? Was I gay? Was I bi? What was happening to me?

Meredith had obviously noticed my mood and returned to my room after a few minutes. She walked right in and sat down next to me on my bed. “Caitlin, what’s wrong? You did really well. Neither of them had any clue that you were not always a girl. Albert kept talking about the fact that you would be awesome at keeping Paul’s secret.”

“Merri, I want to be a guy like them. That’s what I have always wanted to be. Not some scrawny, easily forgotten boy, but a strong man. Big, tall, muscular, something other than tiny me.” I started crying at that point as it was again too much for me. I had been hit in two different areas and the combination was hurting.

Meredith took my head in her hands and pulled my head up. When we were eye to eye she said intently, “Why try to be what your body won’t let you? You told me about your family, how all the men are small. What is so wrong with that? I’ll tell you this, if you were easily forgotten as a boy then get used to being noticed. You make a wonderful woman. Think of it this way, the only thing I really changed was to give you breasts and make some superficial changes. That’s it. The rest of it is you, naturally. You are a beautiful woman who men and women look more than twice at. Why worry about not being tall and muscular? Right now as a woman you have real power.”

With that she leaned forward and kissed me softly on the lips. Her lips were definitely softer than Paul’s and tasted of her flavored lip balm. Her kiss had a similar, but stronger effect on me. She brushed her hand across my cheek, looking me in my eyes lovingly. “Cheer up Caitlin; you can be anything you want. My vote is for who you are now. You’re pretty cool and fun to hang out with.”

I smiled at that. She was making me feel better despite my internal conflicts. After all, wasn’t that what girlfriends were supposed to do? I really didn’t want to keep hashing out the same worries and problems, so I changed the subject. “Merri, why does Al call you Contrary?”

She laughed lightly. I loved that laugh, it made me feel really good inside. “Well, you know…Mary, Mary quite contrary, how does your garden grow? I guess I am so contrary that it fits. So that’s what the whole theatre department calls me.”

“I think that they’re right. It does fit you. You’d have to be contrary to be able to turn me into this.” I gestured over my body.

“Nope, that was just my schooling. The contrary part…that would be my being attracted to you. The more woman you become the more I find myself attracted to you. I know it’s a bit weird, and I’m not attracted to other women…just you.” She leaned forward again and kissed me with a little more force and passion. That certainly helped how I felt. “That is your reward for being such a good sport tonight. I was actually getting all hot and bothered watching you and Paul kiss. You have no idea how wet it made me.”

I smiled brightly, feeling quite a bit better, at least about our relationship. I was being rewarded for acting like a woman and I did like it, which was hard to admit. “Thanks Merri. I think you know that I am hot for you too, but for the usual reasons.”

She chuckled at that and then beamed at me. Her smile made me feel really alive. “Well good night girl. I will see you in the morning. Gwen passed her congratulations on to you as well. Sleep tight Caitlin.”

“Night Meredith.”

She left the room and some of the happiness went with her. I used my make up remover and changed into my silk night gown. I wanted to feel really nice tonight for some reason. I got out my diary and sat back on my bed, propping myself up on my pillows. I wrote about everything that had happened today and what I thought about it. Daily it seemed as if I was leaving more of Richard behind and becoming Caitlin more completely. Like that kiss. I had not fought it when Paul kissed me. Part of me had definitely wanted more. This was not the normal thought pattern of an eighteen year old boy on his way to college who was sure he was straight. I still thought I was straight. I mean I was hot for Meredith and Gwen made me happily hard as well. But there was what I felt with Paul, whatever that meant.

I finished that train of thought with the questions still unanswered, as usual. If I stayed with this crazy scheme what would I be like when I graduated? Would I even be a guy any more? Would I only want to be with guys? Would I lose Meredith and hook up with Paul? Would he be okay with me being a boy? I didn’t know and right now I didn’t want to know.

I crawled under the covers with my bear and hugged him really tight. That helped me settle down in my head enough and I drifted to sleep thinking about Paul and Meredith.

* * * *

The next day the weather was stormy so Meredith and I went to the mall. Meredith let me know that I needed to get two party dresses for Rush week. I was a bit unsure about what that entailed but followed her from store to store looking for the perfect dresses. I apparently had all the other clothes I might need for Rush week already. Not really much of a surprise.

We weren’t able to find anything that really seemed to be what she was looking for. I liked several of the dresses but Merri wanted to have her way, as usual. We had lunch at a soup and salad place in the mall. While we ate we talked about dating and men. I started things, fishing for information. “So Merri, what is this thing with you and Albert?”

“Actually, nothing. We are just really good friends…with privileges. I am at heart a free agent and don’t have any plans to limit myself. You however are a special case and I have no problems being with you.”

I blushed at that. How could Merri do that? “And that’s not a problem with anyone?”

“Why should it be Caitlin? No one owns me. I make decisions for myself that have nothing to do with anyone else. That is what modern feminism is all about, making your own decisions. I may be your girlfriend but I am still my own person with my own habits and quirks.” retorted Meredith, punctuating her points with her fork stabbing helpless salad. The slight crunch of the cucumbers was a bit disturbing.

“I guess I am still getting used to that concept. Too much of growing up where time seemed to be turned back a hundred years. Well go back to that later, but, how am I doing, really?” I was actually curious and a little worried. I knew she would tell me the truth, whether I wanted to hear it or not.

“Well Caitlin, right now I think you could pass a majority of the time without somebody there to nudge you. In some ways you seem somewhat tomboy-ish, but hey it’s only been about three weeks. Personally, I don’t think you can be taught much more at this point. Sure, try to learn the colors and styles, but some women I know don’t know them. So what we have ended up teaching you is more feminine than most women are. I think daily living and interacting, as well as your media intake will be the deciding factor. All you need now is time. We drilled the obvious stuff into you; your voice is practically perfect. Even your handwriting is almost there. It all comes down to time.” She smiled and took another bite of salad, smiling around the fork.

The appraisal stunned me. I was mostly there? Really? This was nice and worrisome at the same time. Was I really that much of a girl now?

“But anyway Caitlin I know I need a trim and I think you could probably stand one as well. Maybe we should also touch up the color, but I’m not sure, since it has only been a few weeks. Let me call my sister, we might be able to get in today.”

I shrugged. “Sounds good to me.”

Merri managed to get a hold of her sister and we were able to get into the beauty parlor and get our hair trimmed. As we left the mall and headed towards Merri’s car she started chuckling. I turned and looked at her. “What?”

“Did you see the number of guys who were checking you out? You really seem to be able to turn heads Caitlin. Personally, I think it is the hair color.”

“I was being checked out?” I was actually astounded. A guy would find me attractive enough to take a second look? A guy who wasn’t gay? That was new. I actually stopped in my tracks in surprise.

“Yep. Don’t worry though, you get used to the feel of eyes on you. It is just something that happens when you are attractive.” supplied Meredith as if she were sharing a state secret.

We both giggled over that. We drove the familiar route over to the spa. Miriam, Merri’s sister looked over my hair and it was decided that my roots needed to be touched up just a little. So I found myself with a brush being applied to my head, only covering a little bit of my hair. They managed to get the color matched nicely and it looked great. Once we were done I made an appointment for a facial for the middle of next week, as I would need the help relaxing once Rush started. I really enjoyed the facial I had gotten as it was really soothing.

Miriam, Merri and I then headed off to get some Chinese for dinner. We all went in Merri’s car. Miriam looked me over and applauded her sister and I. “Merri, you are indeed an artist. Caitlin, you are transformed beyond any expectation I had formed when my crazy sis told me about this nutty plan. Wow.”

Meredith bowed flamboyantly and I just blushed and looked at my plate of rice noodles. It was a bit embarrassing to get such praise and it was something I really wasn’t used to. Merri smiled and brushed it all aside and onto me. “Thanks Miri for all the praise but Caitlin here did most of the work. All my work would have been for naught if she hadn’t worked for this just as hard.”

“Remember Caitlin, when the hair starts to grow back enough to be visible come back in for another treatment.” reminded Miriam.

I smiled, even though I knew that. “Thanks Miriam.”

“Don’t mention it. I am glad to help out with this.”

After dinner we dropped off Miriam at her car and the two of us rented some movies. When we got up to her room we were joined by others in a fairly huge, impromptu pajama party. It was great fun. We watched the films, drank some, talked about lots of things from our dreams to boys and sex. I enjoyed myself immensely. Finally, after hours we all collapsed from exhaustion and slept on the floor all tangled up. It felt wonderful and I felt so accepted.

When I awoke in the morning I found myself cuddled between two of the girls, who were still sleeping soundly. I extricated myself slowly and returned to my room. My clock said that it was eight o’clock. I wiped the sleep from my eyes. I grabbed my shower stuff and headed out. Time to shower and get ready for the day.

A number of the other girls were somewhat awake when breakfast was served. I had plenty of company, as I was really being accepted more and more by the women of the house. The company was nice and I appreciated being invited to join a group of the girls for breakfast. Most of the girls were going to be busy with preparing for Rush week and I knew I needed to be out of the way. I really didn’t know what to do but a few of the girls who were not working on Rush offered to let me join them for a picnic and swim down at the lake. I happily accepted. It sounded like it would be fun.

Meredith was awake by the time I got back upstairs. I told her about the picnic and invited her to come along. “I would love to Caitlin, but I need to help Nadia with some of the plans for Rush week. It is going to be a fun but busy week. Have fun for me.”

She kissed me on the cheek and headed off downstairs to get to work. That saddened me but the plans for the day sounded fun. I grabbed a large bath sheet that I used for sunbathing and my tanning oil. I had some color but for some reason I couldn’t bake really dark like some of the other girls.

I changed into my bikini and then put a green jumper on over it. I pulled my hair back into a scrunchy and grabbed my sunglasses, the book I was reading, Rhapsody, my iPod and something else to read. All I would really need to do to be completely ready would be to grab some food and drinks.

As I headed downstairs I noticed that several of the other girls were also ready to head off to the lake. I rode with another girl, Michelle, as we all headed down to the lake. She had only been in the sorority for a semester before now. She was really nice and thought it was really brave of me to do this. I wasn’t sure what to say to that so I only said thank you. I mean what do you say when someone says that?

The group of us played in the water, swam some and baked in the sun some. The lunch we brought with us was good. I had never had so much fun with a group before, let alone a group of girls. I felt happier and more accepted by this group of women than I ever had by any group back in High School. Back there I was a social outcast; here I was just one of the girls. It seemed as if a number of them honestly liked me. I made more friends that day than I had in my old school for the four years I had been there. I wasn’t sure why. Were women friendlier or what? I couldn’t answer that so I stopped trying and had a really great time. I let myself be in the moment and stopped going over questions.

We came back to the house about mid-afternoon. I felt so relaxed and happy that I was having trouble not smiling. I showered to get the last of the tanning oil off me and to wash the lake water out of my hair. I moisturized my whole body afterwards, as it felt a bit dry. I really loved the feel of my hands moving over my hairless body. It was even better when Meredith was doing that. I was glad nothing had grown out yet.

As I sat down to comb out the tangles in my hair I thought over the past several weeks. I had gone from a drab boy to a maturing young woman quickly. I still had trouble finding my old self in whoever looked back from the mirror. I had gone on a date as a girl. I seemed to be a girl in love with another girl. I was so unsure what to do. I really had no reference points that would help me figure this whole thing out.

Being a girl both frightened and pleased me; only my own curiosity as to how this would turn out and my sense of honor kept me here in my frilly feminine room. I was liked as a girl. I mean, the girls of the house seemed to actually like me. That was new. I got attention, People seemed to notice me. I was no longer invisible. My life had changed so much already and if I stayed it would only change more. I had taken the leap from the lion’s mouth, trusting in faith. I was stuck with either letting my fear and worry win, quitting this whole social experiment and admitting I was wrong or I could travel further along this new and unknown path and see what happened.

I held my breast forms in my hands, lifting my breasts on my chest, weighing them as I thought this whole thing through. I looked up into the mirror at my face. Even without makeup or doing my hair, the face that looked back at me was feminine. I had always looked like this and waxing my eyebrows and doing my hair only made it even more obvious. This is what I looked like, what I actually looked like. Even if I left right now, I would still look this way for a while, at least until puberty really kicked in. My uncle hadn’t really had to shave or even have his muscles bulk up until he was in his late twenties. My dad was pretty much the same. I looked into my eyes and realized that I might as well enjoy this game until Mother Nature took me out of it by puberty finally hitting, which could literally be any day or not for a decade.

I nodded to my reflection. I really could do this and I had to admit that this whole insane situation was really fun. True, I might really need therapy in a big way at the end or even now but I was enjoying myself for the most part. If I could stop stressing about the whole being a girl thing life would definitely be better. I mean if a huge chunk of the world’s population could do this surely I could? Besides having Merri in my life was plenty of compensation for tight bras and heels.

I pulled out a pair of panties and pulled them on, tucking myself up and under, an act that no longer felt foreign. The matching bra followed. I grabbed a gypsy skirt and poets shirt and got dressed. I braided my hair and slid on a pair of strapy sandals. I grabbed Rhapsody and headed downstairs to one of the other rooms to curl up and read before dinner. I loved the book. Rhapsody, Achmed and Grunthor had just gotten out of the earth and off the Axis Mundi. They were now trying to find out where they were. Rhapsody was the coolest character. If I had to be a girl, being like her would be awesome. I was using a little bit of the book to add details to the rewriting of my history, well except for the whole whore part and the crawling through the world.

Meredith’s advice with my female history was for me to keep it simple and to change as little as possible, except for gender. She also had pointed out that going through a rebellious, tomboy phase would help explain the few masculine quirks that remained. It was funny, I was having both my past and future reworked because of what I thought would be a good joke and a blow for equality. Despite Nadia and the girls turning the tables on me, I actually may have made one of the best moves in my life. I mean, I simply could not complain about being liked and having friends. Besides, this really was an act of equality.

That feeling, to this degree, was so new, so unusual to my memory that it affected me like a drug. I think I enjoyed dressing like a girl and being feminine because the girls liked me this way. I was liked in a way I hadn’t been as a boy. Me, as Richard, was fading as I knew that me, as Caitlin, got me that kind of response from others. I guess I was starved for real attention. I wanted and needed that attention. It was like a drug. I realized that I actually preferred being a girl as I was liked, paid attention to, talked to, and looked at. As Richard I had gone through High School invisible and reviled, with only a few friends to call my own. Now I could barely contain the smiles that rose up from inside. I think I could honestly say that I loved being a girl.

I shook with the realization and shoved it all aside. It was a bit much and I was trembling. I turned back to my book, losing myself in fantasy adventure with a good dose of romantic flavoring. Even my pleasures had changed in the short time I had done this and I wasn’t complaining. I now liked “chick flicks”. Thankfully my taste in music hadn’t changed, but I had been introduced to some new artists and styles. I lost myself to the book, dreaming of being as beautiful as Rhapsody. This is where Meredith and Nadia found me around dinner time.

“Caitlin, time for dinner, so stop poisoning your mind with mush and lets eat.” remarked Meredith, as she plucked the book from my hands. I glared at her and she gave it back. I used my unicorn book mark to hold my place.

“Let’s go to dinner, Pledge. Do well and 11 weeks from now you may earn your letters and become a full sister of this house. By the way, National is proud of you and wanted me to pass on some more encouragement to you.” stated Nadia. “A lot of people really want you to stick to this and complete the pledge program.”

I smiled brightly at this. “I’ll do my best. I can hardly wait for Rush week.”

“Great. Well, let’s go eat.” We all headed for the dining room.

The chat was lively around the dining table. We talked about Rush week, school, movies, dates and the like. I chimed in and was made to feel at home and accepted. It looked as if some of the girls had forgotten I was Richard and only saw me as Caitlin.

Meredith dragged me upstairs after we ate. I followed her willingly. “I have the Rush schedule and I wanted to go over it with you. It should be fun.”

I took the list she offered and looked at it. There were a number of things on there. There was an Ice Cream Social, a movie night, a lake party, a semi-formal cocktail party and a formal party at the end of the week. It sounded fun. I was a bit worried about the fact that I had to have a date for the semi-formal and formal but I was sure Merri had thought about that. That could be why she introduced me to Paul in the first place. He was nice, I liked him and it would be better than a blind date.

I nodded at this and set the sheet down on my desk. Meredith smiled at me. “So Caitlin, what do you want to do tonight? It’s about 7 and we have a Saturday night in front of us. Want to go to a club?”

A club? I had never been to something like that. Besides, my town had been small enough that it hadn’t really had a club. “Sure, why not. It sounds fun. But I don’t know how to dance.”

She laughed brightly. I really loved her laugh. “It’s easy. You move side to side, sway, wiggle your hips and just move to the music, just like the aerobics only without all the exercise. You have been doing that daily for a while now so it shouldn’t be that odd, right?”

She did have me there and I couldn’t argue. “Alright. I suppose you have a place in mind for this fun and exciting trip?”

“Yes I do. I love this club and I think you will like it as well. Do you want Albert and Paul to pick us up here or meet us there?” she added mischievously. Her smile only grew bigger.

I shook my head. Sometimes Merri’s plots were very transparent. Like this time. “Meet us there, thank you. Don’t rush me too quickly into this whole dating guys thing. I’m still coping at the moment. And besides, are you really that tired of me already?”

Meredith grabbed my head and kissed me soundly. It was forceful, and filled with passion and I was getting dizzy from it. Our tongues played for a bit and I moaned into it, leaning into her. I was so totally hers. She finally broke for air leaving me gasping and leaning slightly forward for more. “Tired of you? Not hardly. I’ll tell them to meet us there, spoilsport. It should be a lot of fun. But if we want to be ready to go by around 8:30 or 9 we really should start getting ready now. I will call them. You, my sexy thing, wear something playful.”

Meredith spun on the ball of her foot and flounced out of the room. I was so totally in love with her.

After Meredith left, I smirked and turned to look at my pretty large wardrobe, thanks to the girls. What was I going to wear? I didn’t know what to wear for something like this. I guess I could wear that little black dress that they had insisted I buy. It clung to me tightly and showed every curve and yet still managed to look good. There was my plaid skirt and my white silk blouse that I could wear with those Mary Janes. I personally thought the catholic schoolgirl look was cute though I had to admit I preferred seeing it rather than wearing it. The short kilted skirt would definitely flare up, teasingly, showing my panties if I twirled too much. It would definitely qualify as playful. That sounded like the outfit I should wear as the little black dress was too sexy and too formal. I don’t think I was ready for sexy.

I got out a white bra and a pair of white panties. I was wondering about wearing hose or not. My legs were still hairless and nicely tanned so there was no real reason to wear them. Besides, hose did warm quick, especially if Meri ended up pulling me out onto the floor, as was eminently possible. White socks with the Mary Janes would complete the schoolgirl image, probably the ones that almost came to my knees. It definitely sounded cute. I at least liked it.

Once I managed to decide what I was going to wear I got changed. I was satisfied with my whole outfit and I began to do my hair and makeup. I curled my bangs and put my hair in two ponytails. I felt like I looked like I was maybe fourteen and fifteen. I laughed at that and took my hair down. There were some things that were even a bit too silly for me.

I pulled the sides up and clipped them into a bow. That looked good. I did my makeup a little heavier than normal just like I had been told. When I was done, I looked good and the smile I could not contain made me look cute. To my eyes, I appeared as the kind of girl I knew I never could have dated when I was in High School. I would never have been able to approach a girl that looked like I did now let alone talk to her without stammering. The odd twists of my life were certainly amusing. I now looked like what I desired.

I sprayed on some perfume and put on my earrings. It would only be a little while before Meredith and I headed out to the club. I was beginning to get nervous again, my hands were sweating. I wiped them off on my towel. I grabbed my purse and looked at the cards I had been given. They had gotten me fake ID’s now. I knew it was illegal, but what could I do? If I did anything with my male ID’s this whole scheme would be discovered. I just wished there was a way for me to get real ones. I was not a big fan of illegal actions. But getting real ID’s brought up some really tricky questions as to what that would take.

There was a knock at the door. I almost jumped before I called out. “Come in.”

Meredith walked in and looked me up and down. She whistled at me. “That outfit looks hot on you Caitlin.”

I smiled and twirled. “Like it?”

“Yes, it looks good on you. So, are you ready to go and have some fun at the club, dancing and flirting?” Meredith smiled broadly at me, here eyes bright with mischief.

I smirked at her. “Most definitely. I am looking forward to this as I have never been to a club. But I have no idea how to dance.”

“It is simple really. You sway to the music, move your hips in a circle, letting the music be your guide. Besides, as a woman, people will automatically think that you know what you are doing. But the secret is that most of us just make it up as we go. Besides you can always fall back onto some of the dance moves from aerobics.” Meredith’s words made me feel a little bit better about this whole thing. “Just flow with the music.”

“Okay. I think I might be willing to give it a try. So are we off to the club now?” I asked, somewhat nervously.

“Yep. Grab your purse and let’s head out.” said Meredith. “I’m driving so we don’t have to wait for the guys.”

We got into the car and Meri drove us to another section of the town. She parked and we headed inside the building which just looked like some sort of box make of cinder blocks. I was getting nervous again as we neared the front door. I really hoped that the cards would work. If these didn’t work I would be in so much trouble. The doorman looked at our ID’s and waved the two of us inside.

I sighed in relief as I walked into the place. I really hoped I didn’t feel like this every time I showed my IDs. This was not pleasant in the least. The music hit us as we walked into the room. The bass line hummed in my chest and it shook me, making it a little hard to breathe. The club was kind of dark, with a fairly large dance floor. There were bars on either side of the dance floor, with tables scattered about the room. Meredith tapped my on my shoulder. I turned and looked at her inquisitively.

“Go grab us a table over there while I get us some drinks. If I buy, you won’t get carded again.”

I nodded, went over and took a table near the floor, as that was where I guessed Meredith would want to sit. I really wanted to please her, to make her happy. Making her smile was important to me. She came back with two glasses and I smiled at her.

“Here, Caitlin. I got you a Sex on the Beach. They’re nice and tasty and the bartender here makes them good and strong. After you have just one you should get relaxed enough to get out onto the floor and dance with me. Cheers.”

We clinked glasses and I tasted the drink. She was right. It was good and sweet. I licked my lips after my sip. “Mmmmm…thanks.”

People began filling the club, since we had gotten there early. The music blasted out, pretty much dance tunes similar to what was played in aerobics. I began to move a little to the music as I made it to the halfway point in my drink. A few people were already dancing, laughing and having a good time as Meredith and I watched. We were both waiting for the guys to arrive.

The boys got there as we were talking to a couple of the girls from the house that had come here as well. We were all laughing at some joke when they walked up. “Hey, is there room for two more?”

Meredith smiled at that. “That depends; are you bearing gifts?”

“Sure, we will get the next two rounds.” replied Al, smiling at us both. “Will that work?”

Meredith thought about this for a few seconds before saying, “Sounds good to me. Have a seat.”

Al sat next to Meredith and Paul sat next to me, after pulling up another chair. We began chatting as best we could with the music playing. After a bit, first Al and then Paul got up and returned with the next round. Those drinks were good. I was getting a little warm and began to giggle. I was really having a good time. Meredith looked over at me and smiled. “Come on girl. Let’s dance. You boys can join us if you want.”

Merri took me by the hand and let me out onto the crowded floor. There were lots of people moving to the powerful beat the music held. The DJ was really good and the music was almost hypnotic. Merri spun me and we began to dance. I followed her advice and just moved, occasionally mimicking some of the other girls out there on the floor. I lost myself in the sound of the music, the pulse of the lights and the movement of my body. The alcohol must have really loosened me up, as I didn’t feel self conscious at all as I gyrated to the music. My nose was filled with the smell of drinks and sweaty bodies. I was having a blast.

Paul made it out there after a few songs and danced with me, or rather just close to me. I directed some of my moves to him like I saw some of the other girls doing. He was smiling and trying to relax, obviously a bit nervous about dancing with me. I remembered what it was like to be in that position. This feeling, from the other side, was much better by comparison. After a bit, I was starting to get thirsty again, so I grabbed Paul’s hand and led him off the floor.

My drink was gone, but then again I had probably finished that third drink already. I leaned against Paul and spoke in his ear. “Paul, could you get me some water and another Sex on the Beach? Please?”

The batting of my eyes must have worked as he smiled, nodded and went off in search of drinks. I was dripping with sweat, my clothes clinging to me. I blotted my face with one of the napkins we had at the table. It helped some. I grabbed a few ice cubes from Merri’s drink and sucked on one while holding the others against my neck. Those felt really good on my neck and made me feel better as the cool water ran down my back. It really was helping to cool me down.

I knew I was pretty tipsy, if not simply drunk. The fact that I was pleased that I had caught Paul and several other guys checking out my panties as I whirled about and my skirt rose up was different. I had even found myself flirting with Paul some as well, like I had done to get him to buy me something else to drink. It was fun and I could see why a number of the girls in the house had mentioned how much fun flirting was. I had to agree with them. I enjoyed just going with the sensations I was feeling.

Merri came back and plopped down into her seat, grabbed some ice cubes from her drink and did just what I had. We smiled at each other giggling slightly. “Having a good time Caitlin?”

“Yes. Thank you for this. I am having a blast.” I just grinned like the cat that had just eaten the canary.

“I told you dancing was fun. If you just let go you can’t help but to enjoy yourself. And you are so bad.” said Meredith.

“Me?” I think I sounded innocent. I’m sure I sounded innocent. I mean I was innocent, wasn’t I?

“You, little miss showing your panties to the world.”

“Did I hear panties?” Al walked up grinning like I had earlier. I started blushing, but with the lights and how flushed I was already from the alcohol I doubt any one could have actually noticed.

Meredith and I started laughing at that. Just about then Paul came up with the water and another drink for me. I took the bottle of water and drank the whole thing down almost in one pull. God I was thirsty. I heard Merri say imperiously, “That’s a brilliant idea. Al, fetch me some water.”

I could hear Al mock grumbling as he went in search of water. Meredith was smiling her mischievous smile. “So Paul, did you catch sight of Caitlin’s panties as she was dancing out there?”

I blushed again and Paul seemed to get embarrassed by that question as well. But that response also answered the question. I giggled a little. It really was amazing how much power a girl had over a guy, if she used it right. I mean, I barely knew what I was doing and I was able to get all sorts of responses out of Paul, who was gay. That confused things a bit but I let them slide. I wondered what I would be able to do later as I learned more about flirting and such. I shuddered to think about it. I was certainly getting an education with this whole thing. Things like this I had never expected when I started this. Sometimes I was too smart for my own good.

Meredith and I finished our water, took a quick trip to the bathroom and then it was back out onto the floor with us to continue with the dancing. Merri and I started dancing with each other as the boys were sitting this round out. At first it was just dancing but then it started to get more suggestive. We were flirting with each other with every move. It was great. I started to get hard and the pain of my penis struggling against my panties brought me back to my senses a little. I needed to get my mind off of sex. And how soft Meredith was, and how her kisses felt and oh God I need to think of something else.

Paul had made his way out onto the floor by that point. I smiled at Merri and turned to dance with him. The swelling faded and I was much happier with things. I needed to remember to avoid that if I could. That had really been uncomfortable, and I couldn’t just adjust myself like I could have if I were still a guy. That was definitely an inconvenience.

The night progressed really well. We alternated between talking and dancing; always having some more water when we got back to the table as well as occasional refills of our Sex on the Beach. I don’t think I ever had this much fun before. I didn’t really know what to do about it, so I just kept on dancing. Being really buzzed probably helped with that though.

After a while I was getting so warm that I needed to get some air. I had sweated so much that I really did need to cool off. I stood up to go outside for a while and Paul offered to join me. I smiled in answer and staggered towards the exit. Paul walked next to me, occasionally steering me in the direction we needed to go. He was somewhat drunk as well, but apparently not as buzzed as I was.

The summer air was actually cooler than the inside of the club had been. I shivered a little and Paul used that opportunity to pull me close to him. He was warm and that felt good. I relaxed into things and cuddled up against him as we walked around the building. The air helped clear my head and it was nice to get away from the pounding music that you could still sort of hear from out here, thrumming through the walls.

Paul stopped walking and I turned and looked up at him. He turned me to face him and bent down and kissed me. His lips were warm on mine and I opened my lips in surprise, thinking I would say something to get him to stop. His tongue slid in and began to play with mine. I felt dizzy, was this really happening? His lips felt firm on mine and I felt good as he held me. I sighed and began returning the kiss in earnest.

I was held tightly against Paul as our tongues played. I could feel his erection pushing up against me, hard ad warm through his pants. I should have been freaked out but I guess being buzzed let me relax and enjoy it. He began to kiss my neck and nibble on my ears, running a hand down to the small of my back. I put my arms around his neck and tried to move even closer to him. I felt beautiful, feminine and desired. I had never felt this way before and I loved what I was feeling. I was being held safe and secure by Paul as he kissed me and my body was responding to his. I was in bliss.

I lost track of time as I felt myself drift along with these wonderful feelings. It definitely wasn’t better than kissing Meredith, just different. It was harder, his lips not as soft and his kiss was firmer. That thought brought me up short as did feeling his hand begin to massage my ass through my skirt. I could clearly feel his swollen cock and felt the painful throbbing of my own. I needed to calm things down before I did something really stupid. I broke the kiss reluctantly and stepped back just a bit. I reached up and brushed a hand across his face, a move that felt appropriate. He smiled at me and hugged me tight. “Caitlin, I…I feel something for you. Meri told me the situation and I will protect you as you protect me. I…I really care for you.”

We kissed again, this time less desperately. I did feel something for him, which was odd. I liked being held by him and this situation was crazy but should cover both of us. “I care for you too Paul. I’m not sure I want a relationship but I wouldn’t mind doing this again.”

He smiled and kissed me again. It was making my head swoon. This was nice. He broke the kiss and we headed back into the club. I held onto Paul’s arm and stayed close as we walked towards the entrance. I enjoyed what I was feeling and I was sure the alcohol was letting me feel things without reacting to them. My thoughts weren’t getting all tangled up with my emotions and I was grateful for that. At that moment there was no more Richard, only Caitlin and she felt sexy and loved. The feeling was all the more pleasurable and addictive for its novelty.

I excused myself and went to the restroom after we got back into the club. I knew I needed to check on my makeup and try to let the pressure of my erect penis fade. I had to push my penis down in order to actually use the bathroom and that amazingly helped it to calm down. I sighed as I tucked my self back up after wiping. I flushed and headed out to the mirror. My lipstick was smeared a good bit and I wiped it off before reapplying it. Once I was sure I looked good I headed back to the table.

Meredith was grinning like a shark as I walked back to the table. The guys were no where to be seen. She looked me in the eyes and bluntly asked, “So, does he kiss well?”

I think I gave a goofy grin and I answered a little sheepishly. “Yes he does. He kisses really well.”

She grinned happily back at me. “You will have to tell me all about it when we get back home. Come on; let’s do some more dancing before we head back.”

“Sure, sounds good to me. I am a little tired, as today has been a really long day.” I kept grinning, my heart bubbling happily. Paul had been wonderful and I was spending time with my girlfriend. It was so much fun.

We danced some more and said our good byes to the guys. I really wanted to see Paul again as he treated me so well. I felt like a woman around him and not like a guy in a dress. It was odd but nice. I wondered how he did that? I kissed him good bye and it made my heart race and I had to catch my breath. Gods, he made me feel sexy.

I must have been daydreaming in the car, because I barely noticed the drive home. It was only when Meredith chuckled, that I noticed. “Once we get back to the house, change and come by my room. Then you can tell me all about Paul and how good he kissed.”

“Alright. I won’t be long.” After I got out of the car I almost bounded up the stairs. I was happy, certainly happier than I had ever been on any of my dates in High School. I loved Meredith with all of my heart but Paul made me feel good too. I didn’t know what to do, but for tonight I wasn’t going to care.

I grabbed my makeup remover and cleaned my face really well. The night time looks were heavier than I was used to and I definitely wanted to make sure I got everything off. I didn’t want to end up with pimples from not taking care of my face. Once that was done I took my clothes and shoes off. I rubbed the spot under my breast forms where the band of my bra had chafed. I sighed happily.

I grabbed my green silk nightgown and pulled it on. I really liked the feel of the silk against my skin. When this was over I was definitely going to keep this nightgown, regardless of how things turned out. It was just too damn comfortable. I brushed out my hair and put it up in a green scrunci. The ponytail was high on my head and left the nice air conditioned air on my neck. Hot weather or places and long hair didn’t mix I was discovering.

I drained a bottle of water from my fridge and was ready to head over to Meredith’s room. I felt like having Cuddles with me just then. I grabbed my bear and hugged tightly. It was comforting as my mind was still in a whirl over the nights events. What a completely bizarre evening. I had never thought that I would ever kiss another guy, let alone like it. It would probably disturb me if I weren’t still buzzed.

I headed off to Merri’s room, still hugging Cuddles to me. I knocked softly on the door and entered as I heard her call out, “Come in.”

The room was lit by candles, their glow flickering, casting shadows. I stepped in and closed the door behind me, as I scanned the room for my girlfriend. Meredith walked towards me slowly from one of the corners that was mostly in darkness. She was wearing a long silky nightgown like mine that was so sexy on her. My heart leapt at the sight of her, almost aching from the love I felt just then. I wanted her.

She smiled as she walked towards me. She locked the door, took my hand and led me to her bed. She took Cuddles from me and placed my bear on her nightstand. I was too stunned to say anything. God, she is beautiful.

“Caitlin, I wanted to tell you that I saw you and Paul, outside. I know I told you that I would reward you for a job well done, however you have been doing an incredible job. It almost seems as if you are becoming more woman than man at this point, in many ways. Watching the two of you kiss and make out really turned me on. I still am turned on, because of you.” With that she brushed a strand of hair from my face and kissed me.

It was soft and gentle and I needed it more than anything I had ever had. We fell into an embrace, kissing each other with growing passion. The feel of her nightgown was incredible against mine as I almost swooned into her. She pulled my scrunci free and ran her fingers through my hair. I moaned into her mouth with how good that felt. We kissed and caressed each other, losing ourselves into the sensuality of the moment.

Merri’s hand moved along my leg, pushing the silk upwards as her hand moved up my thigh. My penis ached and called for release as it strained against my panties. She rubbed my thighs, tightening her hand occasionally. That was another feeling that was new and yet enjoyed. I moaned again with the pleasurable feelings that Merri was giving me.

As we continued kissing, her hand kept moving upwards. Soon it rubbed against my panty clad penis. I thrust my hips upward a bit, to get more of her hand. She pulled it back and one of her nails dragged down the shaft of my penis, causing it to twitch. Merri pulled my panties down and freed my throbbing penis, which snapped upright. As she moved them down to my feet I got ready to kick them free. I moved the spaghetti straps of her nightgown off her shoulders so I could get to her breasts without the silky fabric in my way. I kissed my way down her neck and began to lick and nibble at one nipple, a hand circling the areola of the other. This brought a sound of pleasure from Meredith.

I could barely believe that this was happening, all of it, any of it. Here I was, getting ready to join a sorority, dressed like a girl, with prosthetic breasts making love to my girlfriend who was a sorority girl. How do these things happen to me?

Merri had gotten me so turned down that I had trouble thinking straight. I just lost myself in worshiping her breasts, kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling for all I was worth. I was in heaven. Certainly my life couldn’t get any better.

Meredith pulled me up from her breasts, kissed me deeply and pulled me to her bed. She fell back on it, resting on her elbows. “Caitlin, my love, come over here.”

I almost stumbled over to her, lost in a haze of pleasure. She whispered to me, “We have to be quiet so we don’t get caught. Kneel down.”

I complied as she laid back. She shimmied her hips closer to the edge of the bed. I realized what she was asking and had an idea of what to do. I reached up her nightgown and pulled down her satin panties. I breathed in a musky smell, which was really appealing. Meredith was so wonderful and smelled so good and her special place looked so nice in the flickering candle light. I wasn’t overwhelmed by any urgent need for myself, just a desire to please Meredith. As long as my penis wasn’t folded over I was happy. I knew that I had a different way of doing things before, when I was simply Richard. I wasn’t looking for relief from my erection but rather to make Meredith really happy. That flashed through my mind in an instant and I kind of knew what I wanted to do.

I leaned in and exhaled onto her mons and nuzzled at her sparse pubic hair. It was neatly trimmed and was very fine. She moaned softly. That encouraged me. I used my tongue delicately, like I thought a woman would, tracing her outer lips. I could feel them swell some and the musky smell of her increased. Merri’s hands ran through my hair, urging me closer to her. I smiled and moved in.

I used my tongue to part her labia and I tasted her wetness. It was wonderful. She tasted better than anyone else I had ever done this with, a pleasurable flavor that coated my tongue. I ran my tongue up to her clitoris and flicked it gently. Meredith inhaled sharply at that and I knew I was doing things the right way. I gradually picked up the speed of my actions and Merri’s breathing and moaning built in speed and volume. I buried my face in her, feeling it get slick from her juice. I lost myself in my task, licking and sucking on her clit as well as traveling all over. I lost track of the time again, worshiping my beloved.

After what seemed an eternity of pleasure and little tremors Merri arched her back and moaned loudly, thrashing a little. She pulled me up and kissed me deeply. “Caitlin, thank you for that. God that was incredible. It was gentle and passionate and I have never felt anything like that.”

I was getting dizzy from all the kisses but I didn’t mind. I was fine and didn’t really need anything else. I had made Meredith happy and that was wonderful. She gave me a washcloth to clean up with. After I wiped my face she held out her arms invitingly. I didn’t need to be told twice.

I climbed into bed with Meredith and snuggled against her. She snuggled back. “We shouldn’t do this but I don’t care. Please stay the night with me, Caitlin.”

“I would be so happy to stay the night. And thank you.” I replied, looking into her eyes.

“For what?” Meredith looked a bit confused at that.

“Foe sharing yourself with me. I am honored. Thank you.”

It was Meredith’s turn to blush, which actually was really cute. “Thank you. It was wonderful and amazing and several other really good adjectives.”

I giggled at that. We snuggled under the covers and drifted off to sleep blissfully. Today had been a really good day.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 12

I was a little disoriented when I woke up. Everything looked different and I wasn’t sure where I was. I felt someone lying next to me, their body warm and semi-snuggled. I turned my head and saw Meredith. I smiled at that point and kissed her on the forehead. I think I was really in love with her. I think I had certainly proved that I would do anything for her. Meredith had been one of the main reasons I now looked like I did and was living the life that I was. But I also had to admit that, in a way, I was happy.

This being a girl thing was odd and definitely something a bit problematic in a number of ways, but it had gotten me a greater appreciation of women and one of my own. I just really didn’t like everything that had gone into this life. It took me so much longer to get ready now that it was annoying. My days of simply pulling on clothes to start my day were a thing of the past. With doing my hair, makeup and making sure my outfit matched I at least doubled or maybe tripled the amount of time it took to get out and about.

There was that and the fact that sitting down when I was tucked was a bit uncomfortable. It hurt, especially if I happened to get an erection. That really was uncomfortable, much more than an erection in a pair of tight jeans. And if only part of you came untucked and trapped by the band of the panties, the pain was intense. And sitting down to pee still felt weird. But it really hadn’t been that long and maybe I would get used to all of this soon, maybe. I was just worried about being able to return to me after all of this was over, would I even remember who that was?

Meredith woke up a bit as I sat up in the bed. She murmured something that I couldn’t quite make out. I ran a hand through the tangle of her hair and said to her softly, “Hush Meredith, just heading back to my room, so you don’t get into trouble.”

She nodded and fell asleep again. I left quietly; making sure no one was in the hallway and returned to my room. I was awake and there would be no use in trying to go back to sleep. The house was almost silent. I took out my journal and began to write about all of these developments and what I thought about them. Life had certainly gotten interesting.

Gwen walked into the room a few hours later looking tired from her trip back home. “Hey there girl. Been busy?”

I smiled at her. “Absolutely. Been a wild and crazy thrill ride for me. Why don’t you get all the dirt from Meredith? She can tell you all about my ‘first date’ and the other fun that has happened since you have been gone.”

Gwen’s eyes went wide and she smiled. “No way?”

I nodded. Gwen smiled broadly, scampered out of the room and headed towards Meredith’s room. At least this way I wouldn’t have to say anything myself. Besides, knowing Meredith, Gwen would probably hear more than I was willing to share. But it would be okay.

I grabbed my shower stuff and went in to get cleaned up. I used a deep conditioner on my hair and checked my legs. They were still smooth and I really was starting to like that. I toweled off and headed back to the room. Gwen was already back and bouncing on my bed, you could feel the excitement from her. I smiled at her and headed over to get my clothes. “Yes?”

“Yes? Yes? Is that all you have to say? Your first date, first kiss and all sorts of other fun. Arrrraagggghhh…I miss the best things. So am I going to hear all about it or what?” Gwen was wide eyed and talked quickly. She seemed really interested in everything that had happened to me since she left.

I chuckled. Gwen seemed really easy to wind up. “Meredith didn’t tell you everything? Really?”

“Now I gotta know. Spill it girl.” Gwen looked totally eager to hear everything. “You gotta tell me everything and don’t leave out any details. I really want to hear about all of this.”

I told her most everything, leaving out the information about Meredith and I, since I didn’t know if it was okay to mention it since Meredith had never said anything about it. Her eyes got round several times as I told her about dancing and Paul and she made me describe the kiss at least three times. I actually didn’t mind that but it was odd. I never expected to actually enjoy being kissed by another guy, which was somewhat disturbing. But then was I really a guy anymore?

That was actually a good question that ran through my head as I rubbed lotion into my legs. It felt good and the fact that my legs were smooth and soft pleased me. Did that make me a girl? How could it make me a girl? How could that make a girl a girl? I was simply a guy in a dress… wasn’t I? Hell, at this point was I even that? What made me a guy? What made Gwen a girl? Was it all biology or something else? What the hell?

I got dressed in shorts and a tank top, pulling my hair back into a pony tail after I had brushed it. Gwen had gone off to bug Merri about more details as I had started to get dressed. I wanted to do some reading today and thankfully it was one of my few days off at the house. Maybe I would go see Rebecca some time today as well? That might be fun. Besides I knew she would want to see how things had progressed. I hadn’t called her lately and I was sure she might be a bit out of the loop.

I talked to Meredith at breakfast and she said that she was going to give me a lift there after lunch. I thanked her and headed off to read. I curled up in a chair and read a magazine. I was starting to like some of the articles in these girl magazines and that also had me wondering, but now I was just going to read and not stress over these things. Right now I was me and I was where I wanted to be. I was actually enjoying myself and that was a different feeling.

By and large that was what was important. I was enjoying myself and that was a bit difficult to deal with. I knew I wasn’t the manliest of men but still there was something about a being a guy and wearing girl’s clothes and liking that. I wonder if that made me queer?

I folded up the magazine and sat there, looking out the window at the house letters on the front lawn. Given everything would I be a good sister of the house? Could I be a sister of the house if I hadn’t been born a girl? I guess next week would show me. Monday was the start of Rush week and that did make me nervous. That would be a different level of scrutiny than I had coped with. Everyone here knew what I was and accepted me. None of the girls trying to get in would know anything about me and I couldn’t let them know. I would do my best to keep from being found out but was I really good enough to do that?

* * * * * *

“I really do like the food here. This almost makes everything worth it.”

Meredith smacked me on the arm playfully. It didn’t really hurt, but she knew how to punch. “This makes it worth it?”

I smiled and winked at her. “Well, maybe some other things help out.”

She shook her fist at me playfully. “One of these days girl, I am going to get you.”

I giggled and looked down at myself. “I thought you already had.”

Gwen, Meredith and I all laughed at that. It really was good to have friends for a change. This was also a nice new thing and one that I was not really sure I wanted to give up. How could I stay a guy if my friends knew me as a girl? Would that even matter to them? Sometimes I was sure I thought too much.

After lunch I grabbed my purse and Meredith dropped me off at Rebecca’s apartment, since they didn’t want me to drive my own car for a while. I wasn’t really sure why, but I just shrugged and agreed. I walked up the stairs and down the hall to her room. She answered the door quickly and gave me a big hug as a welcome. I was surprised, as that was still going to take me some time to get used to from her. We had never been all that physical before. We had hugged a few times, but that was about it. But I did like it. “Hey there Caitlin. Come on in.”

I followed her inside what had been our apartment for the little bit of time I had been here. I sat on the couch and she walked into the kitchen. “Want anything to drink? I have some of the ice tea you like.”

“Yes please. Ice tea.” She made the best green tea and honey sun tea. I don’t know how she did it and she never wanted to tell me how it was made either. I could drink glass upon glass of this stuff, and I had on other occasions. That I was getting some really made me happy.

When she came out she handed me my glass and she sat down on the opposite side of the couch facing me. “So how have things been going over at the House, Cait.”

“Cait?” What was with the diminutive?

“Sure. As one of your oldest and dearest friends, it is my right to be able to give you a nickname or three. After all, we did both end up naked in the pool that one time.” Rebecca snickered at that.

“Becca, we were on opposite sides of the pool and I couldn’t see a thing past the other people skinny dipping with us. All I got was a clear view of Tim’s hairy back. Big freaking deal!” It was true. I had been staying the night over at Becca’s house and her mom had simply let it be known that we could go skinny dipping with a bunch of our friends. Her parents were a little odd. “How are your parents anyway?”

“Mom is good and told me to give you a big hug. Dad is really proud of you for getting into a sorority, by the way. He wants you to pinch someone’s butt in the shower for him. My mom smacked him for that but what can you do?” She leaned back into the couch and stretched her legs alongside mine.

I almost spit up my tea at that. “You told them?”

She looked at me as if I had just forgotten what planet we were on. “Duh…of course I told them. They were asking about you and I let them know what you were up to. They both want a current picture by the way. And they said you could come home with me anytime, just in case you forgot. You didn’t forget did you?”

I groaned. I wasn’t even sure if my mom knew and here was Becca telling me that her parents knew. Granted they were like a second set of parents for me but still. “I remember. But Becca, my mom doesn’t know yet.”

She sat bolt up right. “What!? Please tell me you are joking. You did all of this without letting your mom know? Are you mental?”

I bowed my head. I knew it hadn’t been very bright but what else could I do. “Becca, I just couldn’t tell my mom about this. I didn’t know what to say. It took everything I had to let you know and you knew this was going on.”

She nodded. “Okay. Good point. But you need to tell her.”

I looked up sheepishly. “I wrote her a letter.”

“Richard Michael O’Roarke! You did not write her a letter.” She looked shocked and a little bit angry at that.

“Well, what was I supposed to do, call her? You certainly have noticed that my voice has changed through all of this. Just how could I explain all of this?” I looked at her plaintively. I really was at a loss here.

“Rich, just tell her like you told me. What you are doing is honoring your word and getting a very different education out of this. What is so bad about that? If you have any problem I can have my folks talk to her. Your mom at least deserves to hear from you and not from a fricking letter.” I bowed my head. I guess I really did need to call Mom and explain all of this to her personally. I just hated it when Becca talked all logical and made sense. It was so hard to argue with her.

“Okay. Can I use your phone? I don’t think I can do this without you.” I was really nervous. I really hated the thought that I might upset my mother. She was all the family I had left.

She hugged me again. “Of course.”

She got the phone and sat down next to me. I dialed the number and then held onto her hand as the phone rang. I was really hoping for my sake that my mom wasn’t home. But I guess I wasn’t that lucky. “Hello? O’Roarke residence.”

I swallowed, hard. This was going to be hard to do. “Hi Mom.”

“Richard? What’s wrong with your voice?” She sounded confused. I couldn’t blame her.

“It’s fine, just a part of something I got involved in.” I hoped vague would work, but Becca poked me in the ribs.

“Really? Club activities starting before school starts?”

“Uhm…not really. Do you remember my dislike of exclusive clubs?”

Her sigh was loud and filled with maternal exasperation. I figured that she could start to see where this was going. I mean, it wasn’t like I hadn’t done things like this before. “Richard, what did you do now?”

“I…um…I joined a Sorority.” The words barely came out and Becca squeezed my hand in support.

There was a long pause on the line. My mom’s voice was stern when she started up again. “Richard Michael O’Roarke…what in the name of Hades is going on?”

I gulped. This was not going well. This was why I didn’t want to call. “Uhm…well, you see…I kind of joined a Sorority, to…kind of…make things more equal. But they out smarted me. I could join so long as I could bring honor to the house and follow their dress code. So that’s where I am right now.”

I could hear her start to snicker. She definitely seemed amused by the whole situation. “They outsmarted you, that’s for sure. How are they dealing with the whole guy in a dress thing?”

“Uh…well, in order to let me in I agreed with them that I didn’t want to make them a laughing stock, so I agreed to…that is…to…uh…look like a girl.” When she started laughing, I flinched away from the phone.

“Richard, sweetie, why didn’t you simply say no?” Her voice was calm and filled with humor. Maybe this wouldn’t be that bad after all?

“Because I gave them my word that I was serious about joining the Sorority. It was a point of honor. You know how I am about my honor.” I got a little testy at that. I wasn’t a total idiot. I knew that I could have quit, and at any time but I had given my word.

Again she sighed. “You are so like your father sometimes. He was also so very stiff necked about his honor. So is that why you sound like a girl?”

“Yes mom.”

“And you wear dresses and skirts and everything?” she asked, trying to get a full and complete picture of things.

“Yes mom.”

“Hand the phone over to Becca, dear.” I goggled. Give it to Becca? But why?

Becca had obviously heard that and plucked the phone from my hand. “Hi, mom.”

All I could hear was one side of the conversation, but it really wasn’t making me feel any better. Maybe calling from Becca’s apartment was a bad idea.

“…No, I had nothing to do with this. It was all his idea. … Yeah, that is what he wears. He looks just like a girl. … No, he looks really pretty. … They are nice girls. They are really trying to take care of him. He told me that he is going to have tutors and everything, you know to help his grades. … I know, but I never felt like joining. … Yes, I can try again in the Spring. …Oh, because I know he will forget, his name is Caitlin. … It is really a pretty name. And he is very cute. … Yes I will send pictures. I already told my mom that I was going to send her one. … Sure. They said to call them if you needed to talk. …will do. I love you to mom. Here’s Caitlin.” Becca handed me the phone and smiled at me. It was her evil smile and I wasn’t all that comforted by it.

“Yes mom?” I was a bit worried.

“This is a bit crazy Rich, but if you got yourself into this and don’t want to get yourself out, then I have no real objection. I will try to call you Caitlin as this goes on. And could you give me the number for the Sorority?”

“All that information is in the letter I wrote you.” My voice was a bit shaky. At least she wasn’t completely freaking out about this. But was this reaction any better? Why was she so freaking calm? Her being calm was sorta freaking me out.

“Okay. Becca made you call then. Caitlin, I love you, however you are dressed. I have been worried since you hadn’t called. Keep in touch. I might just be able to help.” said my Mom.

“I will mom. I am sorry I didn’t call earlier, but it has been really crazy and I have barely had time to relax. Rush week starts on Monday and then school starts. I will get better with the whole calling thing.” I was a little embarrassed about the whole not calling thing now. How did she manage to make me feel guilty so easily? Must be a mother thing. “I love you.”

“I love you to. Now have a good time and take care.” She hung up the phone and I felt a great weight lift off of my shoulders. The relief must have been obvious.

“Feel better Cait?” asked Becca quietly.

I nodded. I felt like I was going to cry. My mother loved me, despite my doing something this stupid and life altering. “Yeah. I was just so worried about what she was going to say. You know?”

“Please. She totally loves you and all your dumb habits. But I can understand the worry.” She leaned over and gave me another hug. “So…now that we have that out of the way…what’s really going on?”

I swallowed and told her all about Meredith and Paul and the kiss and the everything. She goggled a bit a few times, especially when I admitted to kissing Paul. She smiled at the girlfriend thing as well.

“Wow…just wow. Cait, you have really gotten into this whole girl thing. So, did you like kissing him?” She was bouncing a little on the sofa. What was it with girls and bouncing?

I blushed and then she squealed excitedly. “Really? That is so cool. It sounds to me like you are having a lot of fun. And Meredith didn’t mind that you were kissing some guy?”

“Probably not, since she was the one who set me up with him. Paul is gay and apparently he is one of the only people outside of us that knows about me. Al doesn’t even know and he is Paul’s friend. I still don’t know how she managed to set that up. Merri is odd, you know?” I was fairly certain that Meredith didn’t mind me kissing Paul after all she had shown me how much she had liked the idea last night. I shivered in memory.

“What?” She cocked an eyebrow at me. She had always been able to read me like a book.

“Just remembering last night, with Meredith.” I blushed again.

“Sigh…my bestest girlfriend in the whole world finally gave up her virgin status. Oh how the angels must weep.” She played it for all of its melodramatic worth.

I smacked her lightly on the arm. She grinned at me. “I really am happy for you. It is odd though that things really seem to be taking off for you now that you are a girl, when they hadn’t been before. It’s odd.”

“Yeah. It is a little depressing to think I have more friends now, as Caitlin than I ever had as Richard. They like me, ask me to come do things with them and everything. It is almost enough to give a person a complex.” It was odd but I didn’t really mind things too much. There were a lot of benefits to this whole thing and very few of them involved seeing naked girls. Not that naked girls were a bad thing.

“Well, why don’t you avoid that one? You really don’t need another complex. So, since it is obvious that you like this whole girl thing, are you going to stay like this? You know after school?” She asked carefully.

I sat there and drank my iced tea as I tried to figure out the answer. I had thought about it but I hadn’t really come to a definite answer and four years were a long time. So much could change in that time that could easily effect my decision. “I just don’t know. I don’t think I want to be like this forever, but I know that I agreed to do this for four years. That is a long time and I may forget how to be Richard after all that time. So I’m scared.”

“Well, what if you quit after this semester?” It was a good question.

“I don’t know. What if I am still having a lot of fun? What if I can’t bear to part with these new friends? I mean, you are about my only real friend and now I am getting more. That will be tough to pass up. I don’t want to lose them if that is the price of turning back. I just don’t know.” She was nodding, as if agreeing with my points.

“Whatever happens Caitlin, Richard, I will always be your friend and I will always stand by you. You are my best friend and I love you.” We hugged again after that. This hugging thing was nice and I liked it. This girl thing did have a few perks. “So what do you want to do? I have some movies, or we could go to the mall or what?”

“Uhm…anything good?” There were just some films of hers that I could barely handle. Sometimes art films were a bit too much and I had really learned to speed read subtitles. But you could only put up with so many foreign films before your head exploded.

“Sure. I have a few foreign films and a couple of good romantic comedies. Everything else you have seen already.” She smiled happily. “That is unless you want to see something you have already seen?”

“Let’s go to the mall. I have seen plenty of chick flicks and I don’t want to watch any more foreign films for a while now. They don’t make any sense.” I retorted.

“Humph…film snob.” She turned her nose up in the air and turned away from me.

I stood up and grabbed my purse. “So, are we going or what?”

Becca laughed and grabbed her purse. We got down to her car and sped off to the mall. We didn’t really do too much while we were there, mostly window shopped, but Becca did talk me into getting a friendship necklace with her. We split the parts and each did the clasp for the other. That really made me happy. The two heart parts were neat and for some odd reason it did make me feel closer to Becca than before.

Of course, I did end up with more jewelry, mostly earrings, because Becca really loves them and wanted me to join her in her obsession with dangly things. I still am not sure how I got talked into all of those but some of them were definitely pretty. I called it quits after six pairs but she went on and picked up ten pairs of dangly things. They were nice but not that nice. I mean, I know earring are just some sort of decoration, but how many different ways were there to decorate the ear with pokey bits and dangly bits?

We did find some nice shoes and I bought a few pairs for Becca. They were nice and I did want to do something nice for her. I had the money for it and I could tell that she loved them, especially the boots. However that got her into dragging me into a perfume aisle. After a short while it got so overpowering that we both had to leave. The scents had all battled with each other and the jumble of scents was giving me a headache. I didn’t even know what I smelled like anymore, with all those testers sprayed onto me. Bleah!

She even indulged me and we played a few video games at the arcade. That was a nice break, even if I got beat a few times in some of my favorite games. It was nice and we even played Dance Dance Revolution a few times. It was a lot of fun, even though we weren’t as good as some of the people there, doing tricks and dancing on both pads at once. It was crazy.

We both decided to pick up some food from the food court for dinner and that was great. I got some Greek food and she got some of the fake Mexican. We each shared a few bites as she loved falafel and I liked chimichangas. She also had some salsa and between that and the hummus we ate our fill. We cleaned our plates and sat back and sighed in contentment. I had missed this.

This day had really been nice and relaxing and I liked that. With very few exceptions it was almost like every other trip to the mall with Rebecca had ever been. Thankfully, we hadn’t managed to get kicked out of this one. I still ribbed her about it and she still protested her innocence.

Becca dropped me off at the house and I went upstairs with my bag of loot. The day had been really pleasant, even the phone call to my mom. When I got to the room Gwen was waiting for me, looking worried.

I put down my bags and looked at her, trying to figure out what could be wrong. “Gwen, what’s up?”

“Caitlin, there is a problem.”

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 13

“Caitlin, there is a problem.”

I blanched a little at that. What the hell had happened? I sat heavily on my bed. “What?”

“One of the girls has stated that she has a problem with you. She says that she doesn’t feel safe in the house anymore since you are here. She says she is worried about you peeking at her in the shower and possibly doing something. There is a house meeting going on right now about it. I already told Nadia my vote if it comes to it. I am sorry.” Gwen came up and hugged me. I didn’t know what to do, so I sat there, numb.

“The girl is new to the Sorority, having Rushed in the spring. We all know she can be a little picky but we didn’t think there was going to be a problem. She got here two days ago, and her room is on the bottom floor. She isn’t even up here. But since she has found out about you she has been making a bit of a fuss. I guess we will see how things go.”

I nodded. I hadn’t done anything but what these girls had asked me. I had followed their rules, done their tasks, let them change my identity, and now this? What more did I have to do to prove myself? Haven’t I shown them that I was going to be a good member of the House?

“I am so sorry this is happening Caitlin. I don’t want to lose you as a possible sister. I told Nadia that and I know Meredith is raising a fuss over it. Caitlin, what are you doing?” Gwen stared at me as I slowly had gotten up and dragged out my suitcases from the closet and towards the bed.

“Packing. If I am not wanted here then I had better go. I am sure Rebecca will let me stay with her.” I was just doing what I thought I had to do in this case. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to leave, but I really didn’t want to cause any problems in the house. I liked everyone here and this had become a wonderful experience and to lose it all over what?

Gwen took the suitcases from me and pushed me towards the bed. She looked worried and a bit wound up. “Sit down and wait before you give up. Weren’t you the one willing to take us to court for not letting you in? Didn’t you make such a fuss that we let you in? Then why let one girl make all this difference?”

I blinked at her. She did have a point and I had been willing to take the house to court over this before I had met them and gotten to know them. Maybe that fact might be able to shut that girl up? After all, they would be putting me out without giving me the chance to go through Rush week. And look at all I had done in proving that I was willing to do this, their kicking me out would be a bad move. And if that happened, I could stop dressing like this and maybe win the court case. Maybe getting kicked out over this could still be turned into something good. Maybe. “All right, I’ll wait.”

Time seemed to crawl, so I put my new things away and tidied up the room. Gwen joined me, trying to burn up her nervous energy. It didn’t take long to get to the point were we would need a buffer and other things to clean any more. Even the desks and books had been dusted. The room was spotless.

We both sat down and waited after we had finished, both of us fidgeting. There was nothing left to clean and neither of us felt like talking. All we could do was sit and wait for the verdict. My heart was beating a mile a minute, this was nerve wracking. Why did this have to happen?

* * * * * *

After what felt like an eternity there was a knock at the door. Gwen and I both looked up, my worry also on her face. She grabbed my hand tightly and I squeezed back. Meredith’s voice spoke out, “Caitlin, can I come in?”

I tried to speak and the words died in my throat. I tried to say something and it still didn’t happen. I was too nervous and worried to speak. Gwen called out. “Come in.”

Meredith opened the door and peaked in. Her smile made me feel a little better. “Hey, I wanted to let you know what was going on.”

I looked up at her words. “What is going on?”

She came in and looked over at Gwen. “We have been talking about you and this whole situation. Kerry was talking about all of her worries, that you would spy on us in the bathroom and would possibly take advantage of us. We let her have her say and then after that we had our say. Every girl, every one who has spent time with you and has worked with you spoke up on your behalf. All of them said that you were not like that and that none of them felt the way she does. We tabled this discussion until she has had a chance to get to know you. So, this will be revisited at the end of Rush week.”

I breathed a sigh of relief, my head slumping down. Why was I so happy that I was going to be staying in panties? Gwen laughed a little. Then she asked, “So there is nothing to worry about?”

“Not at the moment. Nadia is currently talking to Kerry and trying to get her to understand the House and National’s position on this situation.” explained Meredith.

“So there isn’t really a problem? It’s all sort of okay?” I wasn’t sure if I was relieved or irritated that I wasn’t going to get out of the whole situation. I just knew that this decision was important to me.

Meredith laughed. “No. No problem. Your plans, if we didn’t let you in were brought up, just so Kerry knew that we had agreed to let you in and give you a chance and that it would succeed or fail by you alone. You are clever Caitlin, but Nadia is really on top of things. She figured that this might count as not giving you a chance.”

I laughed as well. I guess I had been caught again by Nadia. Now there was someone who I could really look up to. Nadia really had a great head on her shoulders and was just awesome. I don’t think I had ever met anyone who had ever been able to out think me time and time again like Nadia seemed to be able to do. If it weren’t for the fact that Meredith would hurt me I might just venture to say that I was in love. “So what do I need to do for Rush week?”

Gwen seemed glad to have something to talk about that didn’t involve my getting kicked out. “Well, you can hang out with us all day or you can actually check out some of the other houses. Since Meredith got you all the ID in the world you should be able to check out the other sororities without any problem. Nadia had to submit your name to the Greek Life Office and that would have put you onto the list for this Rush.”

I blinked in surprise. “Really?”

Meredith nodded. “Yep. You can meet some of the others in the Greek organizations and get a feel for them. The odds are that you are going to be accepted here, even with Kerry. And remember, that they don’t know anything about you other than name, age and where you’re from.”

I thought about possibly going to see these other sororities. It made me nervous. I generally had trouble believing that no one could tell I wasn’t a girl. I figured it was obvious to everyone else even when I couldn’t tell. I felt better when Meredith was with me, because I figured she could get me out of most anything, but to go alone? It might be fun but it was also scary at the same time.

“So that starts tomorrow?” I asked, double checking my memory.

“Yep. That should be fun. We are having an Ice Cream social tomorrow, with homemade ice cream. Should be fun.” replied Gwen.

“Do you think you are going to check out any of the other sororities?” asked Meredith.

I shrugged. “I don’t really know. I mean I have been so busy with so many things happening that I’m not sure what to do now. Go, stay, sleep, don’t know.”

Gwen frowned at Meredith. “Have you actually given her enough time off to relax and just be herself?”

Meredith looked a little irritated. “Hey, we have done fun stuff.”

Gwen looked over at me. “Do you want to go play mini golf? Something not related to any of this project and just for fun?”

I thought about it. Mini golf was fun and I haven’t played in a few years. This might be a nice change of pace. “Sure.”

“Okay. Get dressed and we can head out. There is a place that is still open this late. I like playing mini-golf when it is dark outside and all the lights. Coming Meredith?” asked Gwen. It seemed to me like this was a type of apology. Maybe I was wrong, but I don’t know.

“Sounds good. We can go to the place with the bumper boats and go carts and stuff. Just goof off and play all night.” Meredith was now smiling. Given how bright her eyes were, I figured that she was planning some sort of mischief. Hopefully nothing too jarring.

I threw on a pair of shorts and a cute spaghetti top as it was still warm outside. I put my hair up in a pony tail and grabbed my purse and a sweater. Gwen was also dressed. I hadn’t noticed her changing. This was a little odd, given that I did think that Gwen was hot. Maybe Meredith was changing me in more was than one. That was not a comforting thought.

We all piled into my car, as I had more room and we headed to the mini golf place. Gwen and Meredith kept giving me different directions so I stopped in the middle of the street at one point and glared at them. We laughed as we drove on, other drivers looking over at us as if we were insane.

The mini-golf place wasn’t too crowded, as classes hadn’t started yet and the huge influx of people arrived. We each got our putters and balls and started the course. None of us were really very good so we just had fun, giggling about each of our occasional bad shots. Gwen kept teasing me about the guys staring at me, but I think they were looking at Gwen and Meredith. I mean, I was a guy under all of this, so how could I look hot, especially next to those two?

After the 18 holes of mini golf we tallied up the score and Gwen won by two strokes. I came in last, which was not too unusual. My stomach growled. “Hey, I’m hungry.”

“Sheesh Caitlin, do we have to feed you now?” whined Gwen, teasing me.

I nodded. “Yes. The Caitlin demands food. And drink. Go forth and bring me sustenance!”

Meredith started giggling as Gwen curtseyed and headed off to the concession stand. I smiled at Meredith. She was so beautiful that it just took my breath away. I was very lucky to have her and I really wanted to see where we could go. She was special to me, even after such a short period of time. I was just about to say something when I heard a deep voice say. “Hey there girls, can my friends and I join you?”

Meredith and I both looked up. There were three guys from one of the fraternities standing nearby. They were all big and broad, kind of intimidating really. Any words I had died in my throat just looking at them. If they figured me out then I would be so screwed. What the hell was I supposed to do?

Meredith came to the rescue. “Actually, no. Today is just a girl’s day out and unless you three happen to be girls, you can’t join us.”

The guy’s smile didn’t waver. It looked pasted on to me but then I had always figured out how to read enemies. “Don’t be that way. I figure the six of us could have a real good time. Play some air hockey, maybe ride the bumper boats and then you can come on over to our apartment for some drinks and stuff.”

Meredith laughed. It wasn’t her happy laugh but something new that I hadn’t heard before. “Wow. You really are dim. I said no.”

The smile wavered and the man’s eyes hardened. Going anywhere with this guy would be dangerous. “I was asking nicely. But if you don’t want to come, more for your friends. What do you say sweetie?”

He was looking at me with hard eyes and my mind kept screaming to me to run, scream, something rather than just sit there. I found my voice and managed to speak without it wavering. “Uhm…no.”

His smile turned into a sneer. He didn’t look all that pleased and I could feel some danger in the air. “Fine. Fucking dykes.”

The three of them stormed off and Gwen came back over with a tray of hot dogs and drinks. “What was that about?”

“Some jerks thought we needed to be spending so quality time with them.” explained Meredith.

Gwen laughed, looking off in the direction they had walked off. “Were they at least polite about it?”

“Not really. They were really pushy.” complained Meredith.

Gwen frowned. “That’s a shame really. One of them was cute.”

We all laughed at that and ate. The hot dogs weren’t all that bad and the chips were actually pretty good. We sat and talked while our food settled. We figured that the bumper boats would be next. Then some video games and lastly the go carts. It sounded like a plan.

The evening was a lot of fun, but I did notice that the three guys seemed to be shadowing our every movement. Once we realized that, none of us went any where alone in the place but we rather moved as a group. After a while the whole situation was just getting obnoxious, so we left early. We walked to the car rather swiftly. Meredith had her hand on her can of mace the whole time. Gwen was readying her pepper spray. I was really aware of being unarmed. This was getting really nerve wracking.

Thankfully we got to the car and locked the doors right after we got in. Gwen spotted the guys staring at us as we pulled out. I was so nervous I almost started shaking. “What the hell was that about?”

Meredith put her hand on my arm to help calm me down. “It’s okay. Some guys are like that, thinking that because they have a penis that they are God’s gift to us poor little defenseless women. I am sorry you had to deal with guys like that. Unfortunately, it is part of being a woman. Just because they are taller and stronger on the whole than us, some guys think that fact makes us theirs. No say, just their property. Jerks!”

Gwen chimed in as well, she was less pissed off but still irritated. “Not all guys are like that. Believe it or not, those guys are more the exception and not the rule. Don’t judge the whole group based off of the assholes.”

“Uhm…Gwen…you do remember that I am a guy?” I asked, unsure what her answer would be. Then again, what would my answer be?

“Sorry Caitlin. It’s just that you seem so much like one of us girls that it is hard to remember that you weren’t born this way.” apologized Gwen. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

We went to get some warm Chocolate Chocolate Chip muffins from Perkins. That was a nice treat being all warm and gooey. We just sat and talked and relaxed and I mostly forgot about those jerks from earlier. Mostly.

We all said good night and as I changed for bed I thought about those guys. They reminded me of some of the jocks at my school who felt like they were superior to everyone else. Like their physical prowess made them entitled. They really annoyed me a lot. I just didn’t get how someone could just assume that they were superior to anyone else for no real reason. Physique was no reason to base that kid of attitude on.

Those guys had seemed so cocky and sure, so willing to almost force themselves on us that it was like they were doing us a favor. I had known a lot of guys who had points of view similar to that, except by degree. Maybe Kerry did have a point and a reason for what she thought. Wasn’t the House supposed to be a safe place away from the guys? A place where the women of the House could be free of that sort of badgering? A place of their own to simply be themselves and not to be assaulted by other people’s expectations?

I figured that Kerry kind of saw me as that kind of guy, or that her experiences led her to see most guys were that way until she had gotten to know them. Maybe? I would definitely try to avoid doing that to her or to any other woman from now on. This was not to say I wouldn’t look if she was naked or anything, I mean I am a guy, but I did want her to know that I understood and respected the fact that this House was a safe space. It was a place where both she and I could be safe and free of that sort of treatment from other guys. I had been picked on as well by guys, just for a different reason.

Looking back over my high school days and even back into my junior high experiences I could see guys who had acted that way. I didn’t want to be like them in any way, to assume that other people were there for my use. I just wanted to live my life, be happy and be safe. I figured that the girls wanted that as well.

I wrote some of my thoughts down in my journal. Today had been fun, for a while. Those jerks had broken the thread of our fun and it had never really come back. That was interesting and I wondered why that was. Combined with the emotional fun of my time over at Rebecca’s and the day had been fairly intense.

I yawned. The day really had taken a lot out of me, with all the ups and downs. I finished up that page in my journal and put it back on my desk. I grabbed my bear and snuggled under my covers. Tomorrow would be the start of Rush week and I wanted to be plenty rested. I was excited about everything and really nervous as well. I was afraid to get caught, despite the fact that those guys hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. More and more I just wanted to blend in and become a Sister of this House. I yawned again, turned off the lights and went to sleep.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 14

The alarm rang and I got up, still a little groggy. Rush was going to be starting today and I did want to get a good idea of what this whole Sorority thing was all about. The first meeting was at noon, some sort of lunch meeting that would explain the whole Rush process and get us started on our ways to the first activities at 6 tonight. What was I going to wear?

I got up and looked at the activity sheet and saw that the meeting was listed as casual. Okay. So maybe a nice skirt and blouse would be good. Or there was one of the sundresses that I had gotten that were really cute? That would be good. I had some nice sandals that would look good with that. Sundress it was.

I paused and looked down at myself and then over towards the mirror. I met my eyes and took a deep breath. Okay, I just was excited about what I was going to wear…this was not the end of the world nor a sign that I was going insane. I have spent weeks living like a girl. There should be no reason why I shouldn't be expecting to start to think like a girl. Mr. Watson in French class said that when you get good at a language you start thinking in it. Same thing here. I was just really starting to get the language and culture down. That's all. Immersion learning at its finest.

The shower helped me relax. I washed up and the warm water helped to loosen my back muscles. I shaved my legs and whatever else needed shaving since I wanted to look good for this and I was nervous. I would be going out, alone and had to pass utterly. I tried not to think about it. What little bit I did made my stomach flop.

I headed back to my room and looked at the clock. I still had a few hours until I had to go and that meant that I could eat breakfast if my stomach could take it. I decided on the sundress, because I really liked it even though the skirt I had in mind was really cute. I dried my hair and gave it a slight curl with the curling iron. Regular daytime makeup and I was ready to face the day.

All that was left for breakfast were English Muffins so I toasted one and enjoyed it with some juice. The crunch when you bite into them is nice. Relaxing was definitely the order of the day. I had one of the books I had been given and I went into the sitting room after breakfast to read. I did get absorbed into the book. I really enjoyed Fantasy books and the mix of fantasy and romance in Rhapsody really drew me into the book. I loved the characters and Hayden managed to create a great deal of tension throughout the book. I loved it and I was looking forward to borrowing the next book in the series. I really got into the characters and it was easy to fall in love with the main character, Rhapsody.

Rhapsody seemed to be everything: a good fighter, a feminine woman, a tremendous Bard, competent and loving. She was the kind of woman that should be around more. I realized that I was using her as a model for myself in a way and that was fun. If only I knew how to use a sword or could actually write poetry. I knew where my weak spots were and those were definitely holes in my education. Maybe I should try to write some poetry. That’s something girls do…right?

After making it through a chapter I looked up and checked out the time. I still had some time before I had to go but I wanted to get everything ready before hand. I headed upstairs to grab my purse and to see if my makeup needed a touch up. It didn't and I got my purse and headed out. Everyone in the house was getting ready for tonight and I wasn't expecting to see anyone. So I was quite surprised when Nadia came up and hugged me. "Have fun, Caitlin."

I smiled and headed to my car. That really was odd and completely unexpected. I dismissed it as yet another odd thing to happen to me while playing a girl. The list was getting huge. Life was really different on the other side and I kind of liked it.

The meeting was being held on campus at the Student Union Building and I made my way over there easily enough. I managed to find a nearby parking place and got out of the car. I followed the stream of girls into the building, figuring that they might know where this was being held. Amazingly, I somehow thought that real girls would just sort of magically know this.

I got into the room and was surprised at how many girls were in there. There were a lot who seemed like the usual sorority girls that you see in the movies but there were also a lot of girls who looked perfectly normal and quite unlike anything I was expecting. The two Goth girls really threw me as well. I was starting to realize even more that I had been screwing with a world I hadn't known enough about. Maybe this division made some sort of sense. I really wasn't sure. It certainly made me realize how little I knew about things. No wonder the tables got turned.

There was some mingling going on, but I really felt out of my depths. I hung against a wall trying not to panic and hide, which was actually difficult. Meredith would be disappointed if I didn't experience all of this. But I have to admit I was scared. Here I was a guy in girl's clothes surrounded by a huge number of girls who I knew nothing about. I didn't want to think about what would happen if these girls found out who I really was, under these clothes.

Finally, after what seemed like thirty minutes a voice called out for us to be seated. This really cute woman with red hair stepped up in front of everyone. She was wearing her letters and smiled happily. "Hello everyone and welcome to this years Fall Rush. My name is Teresa Goodwin and I work for Greek Life. I am here to explain to you all the process of Rush so you won't be confused and will understand what is expected of you."

The lights dimmed and a projector turned on. An image of the words Rush surrounded by the Greek letters of all the Sororities at the school came up on the screen. The image changed to a picture of girls in a group filling out different forms. "When we are done here you will be divided into groups of ten people each. You will be given name tags and these forms to fill out. Please list the houses you are most interested in on that sheet. This information will be made available to the membership directors of each house. That will let them know who is interested enough in the house for them to try and get to know you."

The image changed again. This time the same group was showing up at a house. It wasn’t our House. Wait…our House? "This group is who you will be with for the first two days, while you visit all of the houses. The third and fourth day you will be moved into a different group and you will again visit the houses you are interested in and the ones that asked to see you again."

The image shifted to one where a smaller group of girls were at one house. "Days three and four are there so that the houses where you are interested or are interested in you can get to know you better. You will be spending more time at those houses. The Fourth night is semi formal as well. So, make sure you dress appropriately."

Again the picture changed. There were large groups of girls each wearing different colored t-shirts with letters on them. "Friday Morning is Bid day. That is when one or maybe more sororities will be giving you a bid, which means they would like you to join their house. If you have more than one you have to choose which it will be. That evening is a formal party in recognition of those who have accepted bids. Each party will be at the house in question. It will be formal dress. Saturday will be your orientation into the pledge program in the house that chose you. If you are not chosen, please try again next semester. Any questions?"

No one seemed to have any questions about the process and I was sure I had none. The process seemed easy enough. All I would have to do would be to list the House as my first choice and I knew that they would choose me. But I figured I needed to play along in order to make sure that I wouldn't get caught. The woman up front began to call names out and giving groups of ten directions. When my name was called I ended up in a group with one of the Goth girls. She reminded me a bit of Amy Lee, the lead singer of Evanesence. I thought she was hot.

I walked up to her and smiled . "Hi…my name is Caitlin. What's yours?"

"Alison. But people usually call me Alley." She was very pale and her black hair shone it the light. It was almost blue black and looked natural and not dyed. It also fell to the small of her back.

"Pleased to meet you." She seemed nice, though I really had no idea since I had just met her. But hopefully she would like me. I kind of liked the Goth culture but never personally got into it. The Goths back at my High School were fun to hang with.

"Thanks. I'm just here because I want to test the level of hypocrisy in this system. I seriously doubt that this snooty girl club will let in anyone like me. I'll be impressed if that does happen but I doubt it." I completely knew where she was coming from. I learned this wasn't quite what I thought it was and I hoped Alley would be able to figure that out as well. I would try to put in a good word with Meredith and Nadia.

"Well, as long as you give them the chance to surprise you, you won't make that a self-fulfilling prophesy." I smiled at her, really hoping she could get in somewhere. That would make one less person to misunderstand sororities like I had.

"I'm just going to be myself and as friendly to them as they are to me." she challenged.

I liked her. I would definitely put in a good word for her with the others. We all filled out our preference sheets, handing them into the girl who was collecting them and acting as our guide. The other girls in the group split after we were done, except Alley who waited for me.

"So, you think that there is a chance for me?" she asked, really seeming interested.

I nodded. "I think this whole thing is really different from what any of us think. Personally I expect to be pleasantly surprised by all of this."

She smirked. "That would be nice. I just hope that most of them aren't like some of those bitches back in high school. They really pissed me off."

"Trust me; some of them aren't like that. Some may be, but not all of them are." I replied. "Besides, this should be fun, even if you don't get in."

"True enough. Hey, do you want to go get some lunch?" asked Alley.

I was hungry and lunch did sound good. Maybe I could call Meredith and have her meet us somewhere. That way she could meet Alison and that might help her in getting in. "Sure. Just let me call someone and we can go."

With that I got out my cell phone and gave my sweetie a call. I told her about lunch and she agreed that it would be a good thing. We all headed for this place that had great salads, soups and the like. Alley and I separated and headed there in our own cars, since neither of us wanted to leave them there. I was feeling good so I was singing along with a CD and even dancing a little as I drove. Thankfully, I didn't swerve too much and made it to the restaurant in one piece. But the songs were fun and I found I liked singing and dancing.

Alley had beaten me there and was standing outside waiting. A couple of people were staring at her and she was ignoring them with practiced disdain. I couldn't see why people were staring. She was a cute Goth and not even all that weird looking. No multi colored hair, no spikes or chains, nothing odd except a cute black Goth style dress. Well, maybe the pale make up was a factor. We chatted while we waited for Meredith.

She finally arrived, looking cute and artsy in her long gauze skirt and peasant blouse. How she looked made me smile. My girlfriend was really beautiful and that made my heart beat faster. She came over and gave me a hug and then turned to Alley. "Hi, my name is Meredith. What's your's?"

"Alley. Nice to meet you. Shall we go in and eat. I'm hungry." Alley turned and headed into the place. Meredith held me back.

"Where did you meet her?" she asked.

"At the Rush thing. She seems really nice and I thought she might have a chance of getting if you got to know her." I blushed a little. "I hope I didn't do anything wrong."

Meredith looked thoughtful. "Did you tell her I am in the Sorority?"

"No. I just said I wanted to call someone to join us." I wondered what all this was about. What was the problem?

"Good. Don't say anything about that. I can't talk to people about Sorority stuff officially. But we can chat and the like. They're rules that the Greek Council enforces during Rush week. It is to make the playing field fair." explained Meredith. “If she is nice enough to join then I can meet her at the House.”

I guess that made some sort of sense. A fair playing field was a good thing. We went in and got our food. It was an amazing salad bar, with all sorts of good things to eat. I loaded my plate up with as much goodness that I could. My plate was mounded and I drizzled a low fat Italian dressing onto the whole thing. I also grabbed a bowl of some sort of vegetable soup. This would be tasty.

We ate and talked about all sorts of things. It turned out that Alley and Meredith both shared a love for Joss Whedon and several bands and some horror movies. That was cool. I did like Buffy and Firefly but I had never watched much Angel. I got some horrified looks at that confession and they both vowed to correct that gap in my education. I sighed, knowing that I was going to end up watching lots of videos again. At least it would be interesting, I hoped. Certainly couldn’t be worse than some of the bad chick flicks I had to endure or Becca’s foreign films.

Alley headed off to get ready for tonight and Meredith and I headed back to the House to relax for a while. My group was going to be visiting the house the next day so that would be fun. It did mean that I would be missing the ice cream social they were doing tonight. Maybe when I got home after all of the traipsing about I could get some leftovers? I really hoped so, as I did love ice cream. And if they had hot fudge I would be utterly happy. That was a sweet yummy I could not pass up. It was my Doom.

I ended up reading again. It was fun and I got through a lot more of what was going on with Rhapsody and company. I had figured out she was the girl from the prologue but it really was sad that she wouldn't find her love from then. Sam was gone and there was no way that they would ever be reunited. Or was there? I didn't know as I was still in the first book. I really wanted to get through this before I went to the Rush event. I would have sat there in the comfy chair reading if Nadia hadn't come in and taken the book out of my hands. I was nudged out of the house and I grumbled as I headed to the car. I really wanted to keep reading. The story was picking up pace as they were hunting the F’dor.

I reached the designated meeting place and found my group. Alley was there and that was good. Part of me had been afraid that she would chicken out. We talked about fantasy novels to kill some time before we would be getting into the vans to travel to the different houses to be welcomed. I told her all about Rhapsody and she raved about Grania by Morgan Llywelyn. It sounded interesting and I mentally added it to the list of books I wanted to read. It kept growing and growing. If that kept up I wouldn’t have time to do anything else but read.

Finally, the van arrived and we all got in. We headed off to the first Rush event and I was nervous and excited at the same time. It felt to me that this would be another interesting glimpse into the world of girls. So far the trip had been fun. After all, it had already gotten me a girlfriend, so I couldn’t really complain that much.

The van pulled up at one of the houses and we all got out and headed into the House. It was a nice house and the decorations were cute. They were having a country themed thing. Alley and I both grimaced as we heard the strains of country coming out of the speakers. I did not like most country music and they seemed to be playing all the stuff that made my skin crawl. Alison seemed to be in similar pain.

A few of the girls from that House came and talked to us, but not that many. The other girls from our group had quite a few more girls talking to them while I would have to say we were being ignored. I wondered if it was the country thing or the fact that Alley was a Goth. I was sure I was getting shunned by association. We were both happy by the time we left. It was a very long thirty minutes.

Things were moderately better at the next house we visited. Several girls chatted us both up and the Sock Hop theme was pretty cool. Even the music was nice. I did feel out of place since I wasn't in a poodle skirt. But they were all nice girls. This house didn't seem all that bad and there was even a semi-Goth girl in the group. She and Alley talked a good bit before we had to leave and head off to the next house.

This went on for the next hour, visiting two more houses. There were lots of girls I met and things really became a blur in my mind as I thought about things. Maybe there was too much going on and I was overloaded. I couldn't even remember which House was which by the time we got back to the meeting place. When we all arrived, the Rush chairwoman talked a bit about having a successful first night and tried to pump us up and make the whole thing seem even more exciting than it was. I just wanted to go home and eat some ice cream.

Alley and I said goodbye and said that we were looking forward to seeing each other tomorrow. The drive home was thankfully quick. I entered and headed straight for the kitchen, figuring that was where the ice cream was. When I got there I saw that Kerry was there serving herself up some ice cream.

"Hi." I said, hoping it sounded friendly. Since she was the one nervous about me I knew I had to be careful when talking to her to avoid making her twitchy. That unfortunately made me twitchy. Not much I could do about that now.

"Hi." She replied. She held out the scooper. "Want some?"

I smiled and nodded yes, taking the scooper from her. I scooped myself a nice pile of French Vanilla Bean. "Yes. Thank you. I have been looking forward to this all night. Just the thought of all this ice cream made me drool."

Kerry smiled a little. Maybe there was some progress. That would be a good thing. "Oh, that's right you went out to the Rush events. How were they?"

I shrugged. "Okay I guess. It wasn't really all that exciting and some of the Houses seemed pretty boring. Some of them didn't treat a friend of mine and me very well. They were snotty and stand offish. It sucked."

"Some of the Houses are like that. Our House really does try to be friendly and inclusive. It used to be worse but the new president of the Sorority decided that we needed to stop being the stereotype and to become the exception. It has actually been really helpful for the House overall, from what I have heard." stated Kerry. "Taking you in is a bit…odd but given your plan I guess it was for the best."

"Well, I don't know if Nadia mentioned this to anyone, but she told me she had figured it out. I hadn't thought that I would get accepted and I was ready to bring a lawsuit. So I was surprised when I was offered to come into the house. I almost didn't accept, since I hadn't really planned on joining a Sorority." I admitted as I took another spoonful of hot fudgey goodness. "But since I had asked I felt honor bound to accept. Otherwise my asking would seem like some stupid ploy. I didn’t want that so I said yes. So now I'm here and I am actually even enjoying myself."

Kerry looked a little shocked at that. "You mean you decided to join the House despite the fact that you had to dress like this? To be a girl?"

"Well, Nadia asked if I was going to try and bring honor to the House or make it a laughing stock. I didn't want to ridicule anyone, so I agreed to those conditions. I really hate how some people ridicule things. I wanted to do something that I thought would bring more equality but I was wrong. The conditions were fair and I really didn't want to fight if they were going to let me in." I replied, stirring my ice cream into a thick gooey mess. Hot Fudge soup is a great goodness. "I can't say that I am completely enjoying all of this but it has been interesting overall."

"So…so you aren't getting your jollies out of this?" she asked, getting to the point of her questioning. This was where everything was focused. I wanted to answer this carefully.

"Well, I can't say I don't peek some when I am in the shower but usually I am too busy getting clean. Just getting ready for a day has changed for me and it is still something I really have to think about. After a while I just stopped looking for the most part. I'm not sure why, but I have. I think it’s weird as there are a lot of really attractive women on that floor but I am too busy to care about looking. I generally don't see anyone…not really. They’re just bodies in there, doing what I’m doing, so I just worry about myself. Am I making any sort of sense?" I replied.

Kerry nodded, looking thoughtful. "Yeah. You are."

"And living and dressing like this, and all the crap that I had to go through to be ready to be a girl has been more work than excitement. Basically, this whole thing hasn't been even remotely sexually exciting. It has actually had more of the opposite effect." I complained some as I had more of my ice cream goop. I really liked this and I had been doing it since I was a little kid. Goop was good.

Kerry seemed to relax some at that. It was clear that she was thinking about what I was saying. That was a good thing. "So you're not going to come into our rooms and sexually molest us?"

"Only if you ask me to." I quipped. "Actually, I was more afraid of you girls getting all evil on me and doing horrible things to me. I had visions of all sort of humiliating acts and a painful transformation to more of a mockery of a girl than a real one. I don't know if I could have stood that for very long before I called the cops. The thought of that really scared me."

Kerry actually looked horrified at the idea. "That…that would be wrong. Being a girl is wonderful and to torture someone into that would be like the exact opposite of what it's like. I don’t know how anyone could act that way."

"See, I guess we both had some misconceptions about things. I have certainly learned about being a girl and Sororities." I stated, smiling as I made my point.

"I guess we did. I am sorry for all the trouble I caused. You aren’t what I expected. Well, good night Caitlin. See you in the morning." With that she put her bowl in the sink and headed off to bed.

I sat there and ate my ice cream thinking about everything that had been said. Was I forced into looking like this? No…no…I guess not. I had chosen to do this. Every step of the way Nadia had made it clear that I was doing this because of my choices. I did this to myself.

Kerry's statement about how fun it was being a girl stuck with me. Was I having fun like this? Fun that I wouldn't have had if I had been able to remain Richard? I didn't know. Some of the things I had done had been fun. Sun bathing was actually kind of cool and going to the club had been exciting and different. The spa had been a great goodness and definitely a trip I wanted to do again. I guess by and large I was having a better time as a girl than I had as a guy. Why was that?

I guess part of the reason was definitely all the people in the House who had become my friends and dragged me off to do things. I seemed to have more friends now than before, friends beyond Rebecca. If I had stayed as Richard, what would I have done over the summer? Probably just sit around, read and play video games. So, basically, not a lot of exciting things. Maybe this was good for me? I finished my ice cream and put the bowl in the sink. I was tired and just wanted to sleep. After all, tomorrow was going to be filled with even more exciting Rush stuff and I needed the rest.

I made it too my room and found a note on my pillow. I opened it up and it was a cute card from Meredith. She said she loved me and wanted me to come and stay with her again tonight. I smiled broadly and bounced a little excitedly. I changed into my nightgown and headed over to her room. She kissed me fiercely when the door was closed. I melted into it. "I missed you today. Did you have fun?"

"It was okay. Some of the Houses were really boring and ignored me and Alley." I sounded mostly non-committal.

"Well, tomorrow you get to come to where the fun is. Also, I have talked to Nadia and several other girls about Alley. We are definitely going to see if she fits with the other girls. I like her and it would be a lot of fun to see her face when she would be offered a bid."

"Really? Honest and true?" This was actually kind of exciting. Then I yawned really wide. It almost hurt.

"Honest and true. Come on sleepy head. Get under the covers before you fall over." With that, she dragged me to the bed and we both snuggled in for the night. It was nice being all cuddled up with her and I fell asleep warm and safe in her arms.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 15

I woke up entwined with Meredith. It was a glorious start to my second day of Rush week. Getting to see the other houses was really cool and I liked that, despite the country music. I was actually glad that Nadia had managed to arrange for me to do this. It was certainly an eye opening experience.

I hugged Meredith and extracted myself from her embrace. My bladder had woken up and it was a bit urgent. Being in her arms was wonderful but some things were too important to put off. I really needed to pee and slowly wound myself out of her arms.

I padded off to the bathroom. I was happy. Things were actually starting to balance out. Maybe things would work out after all? I was still troubled a little by the kiss, but I figured that a girl kissing a guy was not completely out of the ordinary and I was a girl, for the most part. I really just wanted Merri to tell Nadia about the two of us so we didn’t have to sneak about. I figured everyone already knew, but I wasn’t sure. It made me twitchy.

Paul was a nice guy and if I had to go out with a guy to maintain the proper Sorority look, then I think I could handle it. I still had to come to terms with kissing him, but so it goes. To make this work I had to accept things and move on.

There were a couple of the other girls in the bathroom when I got there. I said good morning and got into the stall. When I sat and started to…well you know…I realized that I hadn’t really stared at one of the girls who had gotten out of the shower and hadn’t gotten her towel on yet. What was happening to me? I didn’t register a pretty girl? And Jessica was really hot, with an athletic body and nice firm breasts. Her ass was magnificent and I didn’t look. What? Why?

Once I finished I wiped, because urine in your panties was gross, and retucked myself. I was getting used to that, so much so that it was starting to feel normal. It really was funny when you think about it. Here I was, a guy, living as a girl and getting more and more used to feminine things. It was kind of laughable, especially when I wasn’t gay or transgendered. I was just amazed at how foolish it was to come after this Sorority. Going after the Country Music House would have worked better.

Yeah, I had learned that lovely piece of information. It was a bit disturbing, but so it goes. I knew I wasn’t that way, at least as far as I was aware of. But I had noticed that sometimes you were always the last to know some of these things. Maybe I was transgendered? After all I never really fought about this whole process.

I got back to my room and lay back on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Today was Day Two of the Rush activities. It looked like it was going to be fun. I was going to have to thank Nadia for helping get me into the Rush thing. I wasn’t supposed to do this, since I already had been accepted into the House. I would never have met Alison without going through Rush and she was definitely cool.

Lunch with her would be fun. I hoped Meredith and Gwen liked her. Those two should be able to get her into the House as they both seemed to have a lot of say in how things were run. It would be so cool to have Alison in here with me. I wasn’t attracted to her as anything but a friend and it certainly felt good. I just wanted to hang out with her and get to know her. Maybe the way I had friendships had changed? What did I think about friends?

It seemed like so much had changed. It was a bit dizzying when I thought of it, but I was trying to avoid stressing over the whole messy charade too much. Instead I had to hurry up and head out for lunch. I dressed casually in jean shorts and a cute blouse. Okay, it was bothersome to know that I was using words like cute but what could I do? All the intense preparation the girls had given me really affected me in more ways than I really cared to mention. And really, how many guys do you think want to know the intimate details of periods, such as clotting, heavy flows, cramps and the like. I certainly hadn’t but I hadn’t been spared that detail either. And don’t even mention yeast infections.

Merri was driving, as usual. She really loved driving and that was why she had a stick shift car. She said that it made her really feel the road more and like she was in control of her car. She was a bit of a control freak, which might explain my life. She certainly did what she could to try and mold my life to her liking, not that I was actually complaining.

We reached the restaurant and headed into the place. Spotting Alison was easy, as she was the only Goth in the place. She spotted me and waved us over. The group of us sat and chatted. I could tell that Gwen was initially thrown by the whole Goth thing, but Meredith wasn’t even fazed. It was a nice sign. I really wanted Alison to be in the House. She was cool and I thought that she would really get along with a lot of the other girls. And since Kerry mentioned about the House trying to be more inclusive, there was a chance.

Gwen really opened up as we talked. The two of them did seem to be getting along well. Merri glanced at her watch and looked shocked. “Uhm…ladies, Gwen and I need to get going. We have to get back and get ready for tonight. Come on Caitlin, time to go. See you later Alison.”

After we got in the car I turned to Merri and asked, “What was that all about?”

She looked confused. “What?”

“The whole thing about us having to leave and so abruptly at that?” That really struck me as being extremely rude. I couldn’t understand why she would do something like that.

“Uhm…Caitlin, do you have any idea what time it is?” replied Merri, cocking her head inquisitively.

I shook my head. I wasn’t wearing a watch so I really had no clue what time it actually was. “No.”

“You have a little more than an hour to get ready and head to the Student Union and we have to hurry back to help finish getting the House in order. I wasn’t being rude, so much as stressed. Ok?” explained Merri.

I nodded. It did make sense and it wasn’t in character for Merri to blow someone off like that. I knew there had to be a reason forher acting that way. “Ok. I’m sorry I misunderstood.”

Merri laughed. “No worries. These sorts of things happen.”

Once back at the House, I rushed upstairs to get ready and Gwen and Merri both headed off to help prepare for the party. I was actually looking forward to this. It would be fun to see the last of the Houses. There were a lot of differences between them, which I certainly hadn’t thought about. I really had thought that they would be pretty much all alike, sort of cookie cutter actually. I loved all the things I was learning through this.

I wanted to again wear something nice. I figured a skirt and nice blouse would be good, so long as they were really casual. I got the clothes out that I wanted and then got out the earrings I wanted to wear, as well as a necklace that went with the earrings. After I got dressed I looked at myself in the mirror to make sure everything was in place.

The fact that I was turning out to be really attractive was disturbing at the oddest times. I wasn’t going out with Paul, I wasn’t seeing my mother, I was simply going out and hanging out with girls from different Sororities. It should be a lot of fun and certainly no reason to feel so…hot.

Why did Merri have to make me look so attractive? I wasn’t sure I could handle the attention from guys. That really wasn’t an issue now, but I had noticed guys checking me out whenever we went somewhere public.

I grabbed my purse and everything else I needed and drove over to the meeting place. Alison was there looking again like Amy Lee. I thought about it and remembered seeing that outfit on Amy Lee in one of her videos. Alley looked great in it. I wondered where she had gotten it. “Hey there Alley. Long time no see.”

She grinned back. “Yeah. It’s been ages. We really need to catch up.”

We both snickered at that and headed towards the rest of the group. The other girls obviously blew us off, knowing Alley was weird and labeled me weird by association. The simple fact that I had already been accepted by a House and that they hadn’t, made their attitudes pretty amusing. I was sure some of them wouldn’t get picked by any house.

We moved as a gaggle, with Alley and I trailing behind, just far enough back to hear some of the catty comments. These surprisingly made Alison smile. “It’s sad that some people can only feel good about themselves when they are tearing others down. Too bad it won’t work on me.”

I grinned at her. I was definitely going to keep in contact with her after all of this, whatever happened. Back at school I had actually gotten along better with some of the more fringe groups like the punks, Goths and Emo kids, even though I fell into none of those groups. I figured that I viewed them all equally. So long as they were decent to me there was no reason to come down on them. And sometimes they were great fun to hang out with.

The first two Houses had nothing special to mention. They were the same old same old. They were older Houses with much more traditional viewpoints. I was glad I hadn’t tried for either of them, as I would have failed. I certainly lucked out by choosing the House I did. The third was my House.

I know it wasn’t mine yet, but I was developing an attachment to it. I realized as the group of us headed up to the House that I totally wanted to be a Sister of the House, whatever it took. I stopped as the realization shook me. I definitely wanted to be a Sister of the House. I was actually willing to make that four year commitment. That shook me. I was willing to do that, to be a girl that long?

Alison had noticed that I had stopped and turned around, giving me a questioning look. I shook my head to clear it and smiled. We needed to get inside for the House introduction by Nadia, and then the fun would begin. I would think about this later.

We got in and stood out by being late. I could tell that Nadia was suppressing a smile as I entered the house or was she. I was still trying to get used to reading faces. I pretended I was new there as I met eyes with some of the other girls of the house. After the House introduction we were all ushered into the dining room for the fun of movie night. I sat with Alison and we were all watching some other chick flick that I hadn’t been subjected to yet.

It was really nice, for the most part. Mostly, what happened was that the sisters of the house were getting drinks and kettle corn for the other girls and we chatted with each other while the movie played. A lot of the sisters came and talked to Alison, which was nice, but I was mostly left alone. This was starting to get me down. Was I being purposely ignored? To hide what was going on?

“So, enjoying things?” asked Nadia, as she walked up behind me. I was a bit surprised.

“Somewhat. No one is talking to me.” I complained.

“Caitlin, we already know you. They are just trying to figure out if they want to ask anyone else to join. It’s not you.” This comforted me and I sighed happily. Nadia giggled a little as she walked off to go talk to some more potential sisters.

I stood there, watching the crowd, trying to figure out what they were looking for. Some of the girls who were real bitches or seemed too involved in their clothes and makeup were somewhat left to the movie as other girls were being chatted up. Maybe this was sort of like getting to know someone you wanted to date? Maybe? I had no clue. I hadn’t exactly been a social expert in High School.

Alison seemed surprised by the interest that she was being paid. Meredith and Gwen were elsewhere, talking to other people. It looked like her idea of what some of the Sorority girls were like was falling apart around her. This did make me smile. I always liked watching people’s preconceptions fall apart.

All too soon we were ushered off to the last house we were going to visit. I was getting tired and I just wanted all this to end. The stress of trying to make sure no one figured out that I was a guy was pretty intense. It had been easy with the girls of the house, they were in on the secret, but I was nervous going out on my own without Meredith or Gwen to help me not make a fool of myself. I was sure that at any minute I would be discovered.

I sighed. If I were going to carry this whole thing off, I would have to be able to go about on my own, to not have a babysitter. To become the girl I was supposed to be portraying would require me to go off on my own. Maybe I was just afraid of finally committing everything to this charade? This would be rough at first but Meredith assured me that the role would become more natural over time. If I didn’t give in to the role, to really try to become Caitlin instead of Richard, I would be found out and that would bring shame and dishonor to the House, my House. I didn’t want that to happen.

As I was sitting through an ice cream social at this last House, I decided. I would commit to being Caitlin until I graduated. That way I could make sure that my Sisters would not have to be ashamed of the risk they took with me. I would be Caitlin and after I graduated I would return to Richard. I wanted to stay in the House and I would become Caitlin utterly to ensure that I could.

A wave of relaxation washed over me as I decided that. Some tension that I hadn’t been aware of holding released and I felt lighter. I was free, free to explore Caitlin more than I already had, free to wallow in girlhood. Hell, my Mom knew about this and was fine. To this Campus I was Caitlin and so I would be the best Caitlin I could be. I would do whatever I could for the Sisters of the House.

I had another spoonful of chocolate ice cream and smiled at Alison. She was looking grumpy as the girls of this house were what she thought Sorority girls were like. I didn’t like them either. They seemed like stuck up bitches. I figured that a couple of the girls in our group would feel right at home. But the ice cream was good. I was again in hot fudgey heaven

We finally finished up and returned to the Student Union. We filled out the House cards, stating which Houses we wanted to be considered for and making comments about the Houses we didn’t like. I only listed my House. I really didn’t want to go anywhere else. Besides, like I would be able to.

We turned them in and the day was over. Tomorrow was a more intensive time with the houses we chose, to better see if we meshed with them. Then Thursday was a semi-formal, no date necessary, thank God. Friday was for the Formal, and I would need a date. Thankfully I had Paul, as we still hadn’t told the Sisters of the House that Merri and I were dating. Maybe I needed to call Paul and see if he was available. The idea of that made me nervous. Calling a guy for a date was not something I had ever considered doing before.

I waved bye to Alison and headed back to the House, speeding along in my Jetta. I waved at the girls as I walked in. They were all crowded into the dining room watching another film. I found a spot near Meredith and got comfortable. She rested her head on my shoulder. It was nice to be close to her.

The film ended and we separated heading off to our rooms for bed. I wanted to stay with Merri, but I did understand. Since she hadn’t told them about us we really had to make sure we weren’t caught. I washed up and got changed for bed. I yawned widely.

There was a knock at the door. I answered it and the House President was standing there. I hadn’t spoken much to Sandra as she was always busy but I had seen her off and on. She looked serious. “Can I come in?”

I nodded and stepped aside so she could enter. I closed the door and sat on my bed while she took the desk chair. I waited, wondering about what the hell this could be about, my heart racing. “Caitlin, I have noticed something and I wanted to check with you. Please tell me the absolute truth. I already know quite a bit. So…what is going on between you and Meredith?”

My head spun and I swallowed hard. I wasn’t sure what I needed to say to keep Merri out of trouble. This is what I had been afraid of. “I…I…uhm…I…”

“This is very serious Caitlin. Tell me the truth.” She leaned forward, staring me in the eyes.

I nodded. “Uhm…you see…its like this…Merri and I are sort of dating I guess…maybe. We have been together for a short while. Please Sandra, don’t kick her out of the Sorority for this. I’ll go if I have to. I don’t want to leave the House as I love it here but I’ll go.”

Everything was in freefall. What the hell was I going to do? I guess I could move back in with Rebecca, but what about Meredith? What would happen to her? Oh God, what was going on?

“So…you admit it. You know one of the restraints we placed on you was for you to avoid causing this sort of problem with the Sisters of the House. While you haven’t exactly leered while in the bathroom, people have noticed and commented on what seemed to be growing between you and Meredith. You broke your word on this. How are we to trust that you won’t break it later and dishonor us?”

I began to cry. I realized that it was fairly true, that I had broken my word to them. I fucked up. I looked up at her and her face was serious and grim. I struggled to find words to say. “I’m…I’m sorry. I…I mean…I thought that it might be okay. Merri said that it could be worked out and I figured that it could be. I am so sorry. I never wanted to upset anyone. I never meant to break my word to you. I really like Merri and she said she liked me so I thought…”

I swallowed and wiped the tears. I was crying hard and not just for the possible loss of Meredith, but for the loss of the House as well. I didn’t want to move away. I loved it here and the women of the house were amazing. “I don’t want to leave the House. I love it here and I care about keeping the honor of the House. I never meant to upset any of the Sisters. Sandra, please, give me another chance. I won’t let you down.”

She stood and looked down at me. Tears were burning my face blurring what I could see. What else could I do? I just wanted to stay and become a Sister of the House. I looked up at her with pleading eyes. “Please.”

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me. I had only seen this look once before, when I had first approached the Sorority. That made me even more worried. “We’ll see. I am going to talk to Meredith and then discuss this with the officers. Maybe you should just leave. We’ll call you back, if you get to stay.”

With that, she turned on her heel and walked out the door. When it slammed shut it felt like my heart broke with the sound. I panicked. I had no idea what to do. Going to Meredith might make the whole thing worse. Was I wanted here? Did they hate me? I didn’t know. I grabbed my keys and purse and fled into the night.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 16

I clutched my bear tight. The fur was soggy with tears, as I had cried off and on since I had gotten here. What the hell was going on? How had things changed so quickly? I shifted on Rebecca’s couch, trying to get more comfortable. I had left the House after that, not wanting to offend anyone else. I didn’t want to cause any more trouble than I already had. Gwen had been really concerned but I left without anyone else noticing. I couldn’t stay there when I knew I had broken my word. I couldn’t change in the room with Gwen or use the showers or anything. I felt ashamed and dirty.

Rebecca had been seriously concerned for me when I had turned up in my nightgown and flip-flops, wearing a hoodie over it, on her doorstep, clutching my soggy bear tightly to me. I had barely been able to let her know what had happened between my sobs and I slept fitfully on the couch. I lay there, looking out at the room, still sobbing for my loss. What had gone wrong? I couldn’t think of anything that I did that was wrong.

Rebecca came out of her room, dressed for the day. She came over, sat on the edge of the couch and ran a hand over my hair. Her voice was soft and gentle, as if she were talking to a kid with a skinned knee. “Did you want to get up and get dressed? We can go for doughnuts. I’ll even buy you a Boston Crá¨me.”

I smiled faintly as I shrugged. What difference did it make? I mean, why would she want to be seen with someone like me?

She sighed. “Richard…Caitiln uh…you need to get up and take a shower. You smell of sweat and upset. Let’s get you clean and then we can try to figure out something for you to wear. Alright?”

I nodded, since it was easier than arguing with her and rose from the couch. She gave me a gentle shove in the direction of the shower. I stumbled in, tugging the somewhat soggy nightgown, wet stains covering the top portion of the green fabric. I pulled off my panties and I looked at myself in the mirror.

I looked horrible, with dark circles under my eyes. Even in this state I looked feminine. I couldn’t escape it. I tugged weakly at the breasts adhered to my chest. I had forgotten to grab the solvent in my flight so now I was stuck with these. I sighed; it was too much work to worry.

I took a quick shower, not even bothering to wash my hair. I pulled aside the curtain and wrapped my towel around me, just like I had for the last couple of weeks. I didn’t wrap my hair as I couldn’t find a smaller towel, at least not one that hadn’t been claimed. Besides, what was the point? Who cared if my hair looked a mess? Rebecca?

I looked down at my nightgown and panties. I had left in such a hurry that I hadn’t bothered to pack. Now what was I going to wear? Was I going to wear girl’s clothes still or what? I sighed and stopped trying to solve yet another problem. Screw it! I pulled on my panties under my towel, tucked and walked out into the living room area to find Rebecca. “Do you have anything I can wear? I don’t have anything here and I don’t want to wear my nightgown all day.”

She nodded and I followed her into her room. She dug about and pulled out some sweatpants and a t-shirt that looked comfy. I nodded. I dropped the towel and pulled the clothes on not caring that she was there. I could tell that Becca was staring at me but I really couldn’t care. What the hell had gone wrong? How had this happened?

I had thought I had been following the rules, had been doing everything they had asked of me. Was it my fault that Meredith liked me or that I liked her? Had I really done anything all that bad? I hadn’t treated any of the girls in the House like those guys at the mini-golf place had treated Merri, Gwen and myself. I had been respectful of the Sisters of the House and did what I had been told to do to prove myself to them. I didn’t want to lose my House…my friends.

I have no idea how long I cried off and on as these thoughts ran through my head over and over. I couldn’t think of anything I had done except get involved with Meredith, and that was by mutual consent. As far as I knew Gwen didn’t have any problems with me. Becca had left me alone for the most part, just making sure I managed to have some breakfast even though I wasn’t hungry. She had plopped down three doughnuts when she got back. One was indeed a Boston Crá¨me. That made me smile and start crying again out of gratitude. Other than that I just moped.

At some point later, maybe around one in the afternoon, there was a knock at the door. Becca answered it as I just stared into space and tried to figure out how everything in my life had fallen apart so quickly. Soon I felt arms wrap around me and hug me tight. I turned, surprised and saw Merri hugging me. When I saw her I started crying again.

“I’m so sorry Caitlin. I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. We’ll work this out…we will.”

I just held her and she joined me in my crying. I have no idea how long we were sitting there, joined. But Merri was there with me and things were sure to get better. She made me feel safe and protected. I leaned in closer to her.

“I’m sorry Caitlin, I never meant for this to happen. That’s why I told Sandra to go fuck herself.” Her voice was filled with anger and her body shook with an urge to get up and hit something.

I pulled up from her hug and looked her in the eye. I could see her love and concern. “You said what?”

“Sandra confronted me this morning, just after I had gone by your room to get you for breakfast. We screamed at each other for a while and I stormed out of the House. I am so mad. We weren’t doing anything some of the other girls weren’t doing, so who cared? I mean, I know of two other lesbian couples in the house and one girl who is in a threesome.” Merri grumbled. “Fucking hypocrites.”

“But Merri, I promised everyone that I wouldn’t do anything like that. I broke my word to the House.” Merri hugged me tight again after I said that, kissing my forehead.

“Cait, you didn’t break your word. I hit on you. I started things. You only promised not to start anything with anyone in the House. You have still held true to your word. If anyone is to blame in all of this, it’s me. You are just so adorable that I couldn’t help myself. I am sorry about all of this.”

She and I just held each other. Finally, my stomach growled, realizing that it hadn’t had enough food. It had been a long time since those three doughnuts. I smiled at Merri sheepishly. She kissed me on the forehead, nose and lips. “Come on love, let’s go get some food. We could both use it.”

Rebecca bowed out, I guess she figured that we would need some serious alone time after everything that had happened. Maybe she was right. I hugged her tightly and thanked her for the clothes and the crash space and well…everything. She kissed me on the cheek and pushed me towards the door. Merri and I then left the apartment to get some sort of food.

My hand was on her thigh during the whole drive. Her hand rested on mine. It was nice. I felt like I was her’s and she was mine. I asked nervously. “So…what’s going to happen?”

“Well, there is going to be a meeting this afternoon to vote on things. So I figure we will know what the House decides in a few hours. But regardless, I am not letting you go. I love you Caitlin.” I melted at that. Of course, that was the first time a woman had ever said that to me, so I might be a softy. It was messed up that it was to me as Caitlin, but like I cared.

I was hungrier than I had thought. I had pancakes with my breakfast and drizzled syrup over them and everything. I almost never ate the pancakes as it was too much food. They usually filled me up way too much and I hurt afterwards, but today I was that hungry. They never really stood a chance as I tore into them.

Midway through the meal it dawned on me that I was done, that I no longer had to do this girl thing anymore. Part of me was relieved and another part of me was a bit sad. It had been a hell of an opportunity to learn all about things a guy never learned. I had learned a lot about women, how they thought, acted and saw things. I kind of liked that. But now that was at an end and I was ambivalent about it.

Then it struck me that as Richard I would never be able to come up to Alison and just start talking. Never. As Richard I was way too shy around girls and Alley was too hot for me to even consider talking to. But then Richard hadn’t talked to her.

Alison knew me as Caitlin and not Richard. How could I explain all of this in a way that would keep my word to the House about not making a commotion about the setup? I liked her and it looked as if that budding friendship was over, unless I could think of some way around things.

That meant I now had a total of two friends left now, Becca and Merri. I had lost all the other friends I had made, all in one brief moment when I was told to leave. I had lost Gwen, Nadia, Alison and the rest to the women of the House. I wasn’t sure what to do, laugh at the absurdity of it all or cry? Why me?

Merri kept pulling me out of the depressive spiral I kept finding myself in. She seemed able to tell whenever I started to brood over things too much. I still felt cut off from so much in my life. I felt like most of my life had been turned off and I only had patches of life left. At least I still had Meredith and that was a lot. I wasn’t sure if I would be able to make it through this without her. I realized that I relied on her for a great deal of support. She was definitely the stronger of the two of us.

When she was looking over the desert menu for the chocolatiest thing they had, the phone rang. She pulled it out and looked at the caller ID. As it rang she looked over at me and then answered it. “Hello?”

I looked up and saw her nod a few times. Nodding wasn’t useful when you were on the phone. “Okay. Thank you. However, I won’t believe anything until she calls me herself.”

After she hung up she decided that we absolutely must have the Death by Chocolate cake. I couldn’t argue with that. Besides, only a fool would get between a woman and her chocolate. I asked, “What was that about?”

“The House had the vote. I am not completely sure how things turned out yet, so I am waiting for Sandra to call. Until she tells me things, it isn’t official.”

“It’s done? They had the vote already?” I was surprised and a bit dismayed. My heart started pounding and my palms got slick with sweat. What had they said? What had they decided? Had they kicked me out?

Merri smiled at me. “We can worry about it later sweetie. Let’s finish eating and then see what’s going on.”

The cake was good and I did feel better after eating it. I wonder why that is? Is there something in chocolate that makes you feel better or is it the fact that chocolate is so good people feel better? I really had no idea and it really had no bearing on anything that was going on anyway. But it really did get me thinking. Could something like that be the reason for the serious chocolate addiction most women had?

Merri’s phone rang again. I loved hearing They Might Be Giants blaring out of her phone. It was cute and totally fit her. She looked at the caller ID, made a face and then answered it. Her voice was cold. It had to be Sandra. “Yes?”

The conversation was all one sided as far as I could tell. Merri didn’t get any less upset but maybe she did get a bit less tense. I wasn’t sure. Once she hung up she looked at me. “So…shall we go back to the House now?”

“What? Why? What Sandra did through all of this was wrong. I held true to my word, didn’t I? I held to my side of the bargain, just like I said I would, why couldn’t she hold true to hers? Why the hell did this happen?” I was not happy about any of this. I wasn’t sure about going back t the House, but I also wanted to rush back and find out what the hell had happened. I was just so conflicted.

“When we get to the House, people will explain things and we can see if what I was told is actually true. I’m not sure I really trust Sandra anymore.” replied Meredith, rubbing her forehead with one hand.

“What were you told?” I was curious. She seemed to know my fate yet hadn’t told me. Was it bad?

“They said that it would be okay and that everything had been worked out to everyone’s satisfaction. What that means I’m not sure. But Sandra and everyone else wanted to have their say, to both of us. So, do you want to come with me?” She held out her hand, asking me to join her and return to the House and my life as a girl.

I stood there staring and her and her hand. If I went with her now, I would be going back to being a girl, to living the life that the House had set up for me. I would go back to dresses and make-up and the whole nine yards. Right now, I had every right to leave and say to hell with this whole Sorority thing. Sandra had pissed me off. I had followed the rules, damn it! I had held to my word. I could go back to being a guy, to using my real ID and everything. No more breasts or tucking. But I would be giving up the friends, the fun and the experience. Was I willing to give up all of that without a fight?

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 17

I was nervous. This whole situation was fairly unreal. I mean, I wanted to go back to this, to being a girl and I didn’t know why. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to explain it if asked and that didn’t help matters. I just felt like I wanted to complete this. Sure part of it was my pride and my sense of honor, but not completely. Hell, part of this I wasn’t sure I wanted to tell Meredith. Would she even understand?

The drive to the House was quiet as we were both thinking things through. I knew Sandra had really pissed off Merri but I wasn’t exactly sure how. I knew they had gotten into an argument, but maybe it was a good thing that I didn’t know the details. Merri was very intimidating when she was angry.

When I saw the House my heart started racing, my palms were sweating and I almost fainted. Merri pulled up in the back and pulled up the parking brake. We sat there for a moment, with her gazing at the House and holding my hand. Her touch calmed me down some; after all, we were together. Meredith looked at me and smiled faintly, “Come on.”

We walked into the House and into the common room. The room was filled with the Sisters all staring at us. Meredith held my hand tighter either top reassure me or her. I wasn’t sure which. We got fully into the room and stood there in front of everyone, and waited.

Nadia stepped forward. She looked upset, which I was sure didn’t bode well for me. “Meredith, Richard, we all had a vote about this, just so you know. This whole thing has been a big experiment and there were bound to be…issues. But we have decided that Richard can stay if he wants to.”

I was so relieved that I started to cry. Meredith hugged me and said, “And what about us? Sandra made it clear that the House could only be harmed by this, which is funny, as there are a couple of other different lifestyles here in the House.”

“There was a vote on that as well. It was decided that your relationship, while unexpected, is fine. It’s not like you’re a little kid who needs guidance.” Nadia smiled faintly. “So, Caitlin, did you want to stay or go back to being Richard? Either way we will still be your friends.”

I nodded, unable to speak at that point. Before the celebration began Meredith held her hand up for quiet. “Wait a second. This whole thing was brought about by one person. I demand an apology for myself and Caitlin.”

All heads turned to Sandra, who did not look overly happy. “I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t said with a great deal of sincerity but it was said. Once that was done a huge chunk of the girls came up and hugged me. They then rushed about to get various things done before the more intensive time to be spent that evening. Gwen took my hand and led me back to our room. Meredith smiled at me as we left and then started talking to Nadia.

Once the door was closed behind us Gwen hugged me fiercely. “Caitlin, don’t ever do that again! I panicked when I saw you weren’t in the room.”

“I’m sorry Gwen, but I was so thrown by what Sandra said to me that I just ran.” I shrugged and then hugged her.

She hugged back. It was getting a little odd. “You will ever guess what happened?”

“If I will never guess, why do I need to guess?” I replied logically.

“Well, after Sandra laid out why you needed to be gone the first person to speak up wasn’t me…it was Kerry.”

That floored. Kerry? The girl who had wanted to get rid of me? “Buh…wha…hunh?”

“Yeah. I know. She stood up and defended you, calling Sandra wrong. She insisted that you were not a threat to the House and that this whole thing might not be a bad idea.” Gwen smiled happily.

“Really?” I was stunned. Kerry did that?

“Yeah. She had been the biggest voice against you and then she turned into the biggest voice for you.”

Wow. Kerry really did that for me? I was amazed. I guess our talk the other night really had been helpful. I felt like a great burden had been lifted off of me. I was a bit dazed and I wasn’t sure what to do. I just sat there on my bed.

I was emotionally drained. I just wanted to lie down and rest. I undressed, dropping Rebecca’s clothes in a pile. I crawled under the covers and fell asleep fairly quickly.

* * * * * *

The room was fairly dark when I woke up. I thought I had heard someone calling my name. I opened my eyes and there was Meredith sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey there sleepyhead.”

“Hey.”

“Feeling any better?” I thought about it and nodded. I was feeling better.

“We thought it would be better for you to sleep, so you don’t have to go to the Rush stuff tonight. You can just relax and try to get over the emotional ups and downs of the last few days.”

“That would be nice.” Why did my life have to be so crazy?

“Okay. I have to get back downstairs, but someone wanted to come in and say hi. Is that okay?” I nodded to Meredith who smiled and kissed me on the forehead.

Kerry was one of the last people I would have expected to come through the door. She smiled shyly at me. Merri left me and went back to the party. “How are you feeling?”

“Wrung out. I don’t really like emotional rollercoasters.”

“I am sorry for my part in things. I guess I just didn’t know you. But I want to get to know you better. I figure that really wouldn’t be possible if you were gone.”

I nodded. “Yeah, it would be difficult, as I may never have come back to the House.”

“Caitlin, I just wanted you to know I want to be your friend.”

I felt tightness in my chest. She really wanted to be my friend? I smiled at her, my eyes growing wet with tears. I really hoped I didn’t start crying again. What was with that anyway? “I would like that a lot.”

Kerry gave me a quick hug. “Okay. I have to get back downstairs and try to decide who I want to come in the House.”

“Oh, if you see a Goth girl, try to be nice to her. She is really cool and I think she might do well in the House.” I added.

Kerry thought about it. “Alright. If I see her I’ll talk to her. Bye.”

Once again I was alone. I looked around the room. Why hadn’t I said anything? I wanted to stay and would fight to do that, so why hadn’t I fought? Probably, because things had sort of worked out already. I was still pissed and a bit shaken. This whole thing had gotten me to look at this experiment in a new light.

This was where I wanted to be and being a girl for the four years I would be here would be fine. It wasn’t the end of the world and besides I had plenty of support. Well, mostly.

There was a knock at the door. “Come in.”

When Sandra walked in I got all nervous and worried. What the hell did she want? She was the one who started this whole thing both good and bad.

“Caitlin, are you doing okay? Need anything?” she asked politely.

“Yes. What the hell? Why would you have done this?”

Sandra pulled out the chair from the desk and sat down. “I am sorry, Caitlin. I was irritated with Merri for having a relationship with you. I didn’t think it was appropriate. I also thought that it was some sort of plot from you to ensure that you could stay in the House. I miss judged you badly.”

“Damn it Sandra, I told you I would keep my word. Didn’t you believe me?”

She blushed a little, embarrassed. “No, I didn’t. I couldn’t imagine a guy who would be able to put up with this and not hit on someone or make a scene. I still have trouble thinking that you want to put up with this.”

“But I do. I want to be here. I thought people were my friends and I liked that. I…I…also sort of like the whole girl thing. It’s different but freeing in some ways. I am not sure how I will feel once classes start and I really have to interact with people outside of the Sorority, but for now I like it.” I blushed as well, also from embarrassment.

Sandra sat there looking at me for a moment. “Are you Trans?”

I thought about things. Was I? Was this more than my word being honored? “I don’t know. Maybe. That is the best I can do. “

Sandra looked at me. “So you like some of this stuff?”

I nodded, looking at my comforter.

“And you don’t mind being a girl?”

I sighed. “I don’t mind being a girl. It bothered me a lot at first, but I have just gotten used to it. It feels normal now. And the whole notion of going through school with this many friends and the kind of support you all have is a great thought. So, I don’t mind as I think the benefits outweigh the pain of heels and such.”

Sandra nodded as if she was following what I was saying. “Okay. I won’t push things then. Just make sure you and Meredith are discrete. We don’t need any rumors to get started, alright?”

I nodded. “Yes. Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. You are the one who is coping with all of this. I am sorry for upsetting you. I guess that I misinterpreted things.” admitted Sandra. “You get some rest. Tomorrow is semi-formal.”

Sandra left the room and I stared at the door. That question, was I trans. I realized that I had no answer for that. I was crossdressing but did that make me a crossdresser? I was enjoying living as a girl, but did that make me a transsexual? I sighed and lay back, staring at the ceiling. All I seemed to have was questions. When was I going to have answers?

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 18

I awoke, my body sore and a desert in my mouth. I groaned as I sat up. I was in my room, with my teddy bear, posters and there was Gwen in her bed sound asleep. I was home.

I got up and headed to the bathroom. My bladder was more awake than I was and insisted that I get moving. I grabbed my shower caddy and left the room. There was no one in there, which was a bit odd, but I figured that it must be early in the morning. I had no idea what the time was as I hadn’t even looked at my clock.

I washed my hair, and checked my legs and face. Both were a bit scruffy so I shaved them quickly. I did want to look my best tonight for the semi-formal. I was nervous. With the way things had gone I was almost afraid of what might happen. I felt like I was in freefall with all of this. There was basically nothing that felt like my normal life. I had been spending these weeks groping for some sort of understanding, but was life really that convenient?

I dressed in a simple sundress. I didn’t want to go through too much work to get ready tonight. I grabbed my journal and headed for my favorite chair, the one that looked out the large window. I first went in to see if breakfast was ready. There was no one there and he was confused. He looked and saw that it was 5:30 in the morning. No wonder nobody else was awake.

I headed to the chair and sat down. I had a lot to think over and maybe the journal would help. I had helped to clarify some things earlier and maybe it would do that this time as well.

I was still tangled up over the whole thing with the House. I wanted to be there and that was despite the clothes I had to wear. I liked the women of the House and I really wanted to stay here. When I was in high school I had to deal with the fact that I had no real friends. Bullies learned to leave me alone after I had brought charges against them a few times. But I had been locked into my locker at least once, dumped into trashcans and punched a few times.

So far what had happened in the House came down to misunderstandings. But those were actually worse. I had been really hurt when Sandra ordered me to leave. Was it because I really did care about the women here? Probably. I mean, these people were liking me for who I was. It didn’t matter what I was wearing I was still myself, for the most part. Or was I?

I really didn’t know anymore. I was trying so hard to be the girl they wanted me to be that maybe I forgot to be me after all. I thought back. That was indeed part of the problem. I was letting myself slide away in an attempt to please these girls. I sighed. I had to either stop this or to take charge of it to make myself. I thought long and hard over this. I could hear some of the girls stirring and the sounds and smells of breakfast being cooked. I liked it here, it was nice. Maybe I could talk to Meredith and Nadia and try to come up with a plan?

What would that mean though? Was who I was that different than who I was? Wait…did that even make any sense? I closed my journal and got some breakfast. The eggs and hashbrowns were tasty. She enjoyed the rye toast. It was good and the coffee helped to perk me up some more.

I went over and told Nadia and Meredith that I needed to speak to them. They both looked a bit surprised at that and maybe a little worried. I didn’t think they needed to be but that wasn’t my call.

They met me back by my favorite chair. Nadia started off, “What’s up?”

“This whole thing, the Rush and the recent events have made me really think about things. I think I am losing who I am in all of this.”

“Do you want to stop then?” asked Meredith looking over at Nadia.

“That’s the thing, I don’t know. I love the House and all of the Sisters. You have all been so nice to me overall and that is different for me. But am I just some sort of experiment for you all, just some sort of means to have a little fun with someone? Would I have been chosen if I hadn’t tried to force you into a law suit?”

Nadia looked thoughtful. “I don’t know. A lot of the Sisters here like you. They have even been talking about who should be your Big Sister. It may have started off as an experiment but it soon went beyond that. But would you have been chosen without the legal threat…I don’t know.”

“Caitlin…you have challenged a number of ideas that Sisters of the House have had. You, not someone else. Just by trying as hard as you could and by being yourself you have made people question what they think about gender, about Sisterhood and about what the ideals of the House really mean. You have actually been making this House a better place.”

I blushed a little. It was flattering. “I haven’t tried to do anything like that. I have simply tried to follow the rules of the agreement.”

“Yeah…but you didn’t have to try that hard. Everyone has noticed that you have gone above and beyond the terms of the agreement. You haven’t become someone the House would have to worry about; you seem to becoming someone the House would be glad to have. The other girls have mentioned that.” Nadia shrugged. “They like you. How you are now, with all the dressing and attempts at becoming more feminine, have made the girls actually make sure I knew that they wanted you. But how you were before…not so sure.”

“What is so different now?” I was actually curious and was interested in her answer.

“Well, honestly, Richard was a dork and a pain in the ass. You seemed so self righteous that it was disturbing. Sandra thought letting you in, with all those limitations would break you.” stated Nadia.

“I think it did, but not in the way she thought. I kind of like dressing this way. That was completely unexpected. I like how people are treating me now. I am not being ignored or overlooked. I like that. It is unexpected though.”

“Caitlin, you have been incredible. You have adapted to this really well and that is one of the reasons I love you. You actually just roll with things. That is a wonderful trait.” said Meredith. She reached out and patted my knee.

I smiled at her. I really could tell that she loved me. “Sandra asked if I was a transsexual and I am not sure. I am not sure what I am anymore. I kind of like being a girl, but I am not sure I want to be once all the time. I miss being Richard at times.”

The two girls looked at each other and were obviously thinking about what I had told them. Nadia spoke first, “Do you get a sexual charge out of dressing this way?”

“No.”

“Do you feel more yourself dressed this way?”

“No, not really.”

“Have you always thought you were born in the wrong body?”

“No.”

“Does dressing this way relax you?”

“No. I mean, sometimes I actually get emotionally jammed up because of this.” I replied.

Nadia and Meredith looked thoughtfully again. I really wished I had telepathy. Meredith looked at me and said, “I don’t think you are a transsexual or a transvestite. All I know for sure is that you are you.”

This wasn’t really comforting but maybe I didn’t need a label to make things nice and tidy. My life had never really been tidy, so why should it be now? I did feel somewhat better, but not sure why. “Any ideas about what I can do to feel more like me?”

Meredith thought and thought. “Well, remember how I was telling you to create a history and such. Why not make it your own life but with a gender change? Why not trying to be you instead of trying to be like you think we want.”

“I think I can do that.” I admitted.

“Good. Then things will go well for you. You just need to make sure to take care of yourself.” said Nadia.

I nodded. “I will try, but things have been so hectic that I haven’t really had the time to relax.”

“That can be fixed.” Nadia shrugged as if it were nothing to worry about. “You certainly don’t need any more lessons and now you just have to live the life. So take time to relax.”

Meredith nodded. “See, all better. So why don’t you just relax, take the time to think about things and we’ll make sure you get ready for the semi-formal.”

I nodded. They really were trying to take care of me. Maybe I was too stressed out to be able to focus on things. I needed to relax before classes started or I would certainly fail.

They both left and I got a kiss from Meredith before she disappeared. That was nice. Kissing her was a goodness. I went upstairs and grabbed Rhapsody. I was almost done with the book and couldn’t wait for the next book. The F’dor was a complete asshat and I did want to see it get smacked down.

I finished the book and looked up. It was nearly time for the semi-formal and I wanted to look good. I went upstairs and pulled out my dress. It was nice, cocktail length and really pretty. Gwen had been the one to spot it when we were shopping and it was awesome. It really made my legs stand out.

I was also going to wear a pair of sheer nylons. Those would be nice. I had run them over my legs before and it was so amazingly sensual. But first things first. I grabbed the bottle of solvent and used it to release the breasts.

I took them off, cleaned them like I was supposed to and rested them on my bed. I was naked and had nothing on me. I was Richard again. I turned and looked into the mirror. I could see my whole body. I looked feminine without the breasts, or makeup or clothes. Was this really Richard? Did I really look this way?

I met my eyes in the mirror. This was who I was. True, I was coming across in a different way but this, my body, was mine. I didn’t mind the hairlessness, really. I just wanted to be able to be who I was.

I thought about Alison. She was being herself and was trying to get a Sorority to accept her for who she was. She had no problem letting herself out. Maybe I should let myself out?

I looked at the dress. It was nice and it did fit with who I had become. It was a very Caitlin dress. But was I Caitlin? Was I Richard?

I realized that I was both of those and that I was also neither of them. I was just me and maybe Richard and Caitlin were just masks I wore to be able to interact with the world without screaming. I was getting tangled up with the masks and not me.

Maybe Caitlin would be a good mask. I knew that if I quit and had gone back to being Richard I would have been changed by my experiences. That Richard would be different than the Richard who started this. I sighed, I really didn’t need an existential crisis now, and I had a semi-formal to go to.

I decided that I wanted to feel really secure so I got out the vagina that Merri had made and planned on wearing that as well. It made me feel safer about this whole thing. I turned from the mirror and got out what I was going to wear. I got out a nice lace and satin bra and panty set that I wanted to wear. They looked wonderful and I was looking forward to wearing it.

I put on the latex vagina and got everything tucked and into place. It felt weird, especially as the latex felt quite different than a regular pair of panties. I then put my breasts back on, after I washed their backs. I wanted them to be clean. Once they were settled I put on my panties and bra.

I looked good and there really was no sign that I could be anything other than a girl. That was nice. I grabbed the dress and slid it on. That was a bit awkward but I did it. I shifted it some to get it to fit just right. That took a bit but I managed it.

I smiled at the mirror, I felt pretty and I was looking forward to seeing the other girls. I also was wondering what Alison would be wearing. I was sure it was going to turn some heads. This semi-formal thing was going to be fun.

I got in the car and drove over to the meeting hall. I was a bit early, but I didn’t mind. There were a lot of girls there, looking like they were ready to head off to a fancy party. My dress wasn’t the most elaborate, but it was definitely in the top twenty. That also made me feel good.

Alison came in wearing some elaborate gothic Lolita out fit. It was hot. A lot of the other girls faded away from her and looked a bit disturbed by the outfit. I thought it was outstanding. Alison looked awesome.

I waved and she headed right towards me. Groups of girls moved away, afraid of the goth cooties I guess.

“Hey you, where were you yesterday?”

“I had some personal problems that needed to be resolved. I am sorry I wasn’t here for you.” I really was, but Alison would certainly be able to handle the rest of these girls.

“Okay. I just wanted my partner in crime with me as I faced off with some of the girls. Only one house had people in it that seemed like they wanted to talk to me. So that’s the only one I am heading off to. What about you?” Alison moved her head, like she was nodding out the question. It was different, but I rolled with it.

“I only have one House I am interested in as well.” We looked at each others sheets and we both only had the same House listed and nothing else. I smiled. “Maybe we can end up in the same House?”

Alison raised one eyebrow at that. “Maybe that would be a good thing? We could cause all sorts of trouble.”

I laughed at that. Tonight was going to be fun and Tomorrow night was bit night. I was excited, even though it meant going out with Paul again. But maybe there would be kisses.

We joined our group and headed off for the Houses. Alison seemed a bit nervous but I was relaxed. I knew I was getting in so there really was no stress. This was exciting though. I wonder what the house had in store for us?

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 19

After everything that had happened so far, it shouldn’t be a surprise that I was a bit nervous about the semi-formal. Alison and I had gotten dropped off at the House with several other girls, maybe twenty in total. We were a bit of a mob and that really didn’t help. I was worried that they might see right through me, even though I had been assured time and again that it wasn’t likely to happen.

There was no formal introduction, just mingling. There was a nice light buffet of appetizers to graze on, which was a nice thing. Alison got pulled into a conversation before we made it to the table. I was alone, but thankfully it was mostly around the women of the House.

“So, Caitlin, having fun?” Of course this was asked as I had a bite of cucumber sandwich.

I swallowed and replied, “Yes, so far.”

It was one of the girls of the House that I really didn’t know all that well. I realized that I only really knew a small number of the sisters of the House. Maybe this would be a good chance to get to know more of the girls. “I’m sorry, I can’t seem to recall your name.”

She smiled, amused. “I’m Rachel, a Junior here.”

“Thanks. Some of this is sort of overwhelming.”

“Yeah, but there’s a reason for it. If things are overwhelming we might get a better idea of who the people are. It’s like their too stressed or excited to really put their masks on.” explained Rachel.

“That makes sense. You know…in a way I am glad that I didn’t have to go through this for real. Knowing that I have been already accepted has taken a lot of stress off of the whole thing.” I said, and then took a sip of my punch. “I think I would have chickened out without all the help the House has given me.”

“Well, you have done well and I think none of the others think you are anything but the girl you project. Everything should be fine. Well, if you would excuse me I am going to go back and talk to some of the others. Nice talking to you Caitlin.” said Rachel.

“Nice talking to you.” She left and I was alone again with the cucumber sandwiches. They were tasty. Trying to be nice I got a plate and collected some appetizers and headed over to a table.

I sat down, remembering to sort of sweep my hand under my butt to keep the skirt form getting overly wrinkled. That had taken me a few tries to get when I was first taught how to do that. It was sort of foreign for guys, unless they wore kilts.

It was interesting to watch the interactions of the girls, the way the moved through the various groups, talking to everyone. It reminded me of butterflies and how they flitted about. I just watched everyone and smiled to myself. I was in a place where I could look at girls all the time and not get in trouble for it.

Girls had always seemed to me like they lived in a different world than me and I had come to realize that the world they lived in was different. Similar to be sure, but different. With all the things that girls had to have in their heads, like makeup and at least the basics of fashion and color, it was little wonder that their perception of the world was not what a guy’s perception was.

Guy’s didn’t have to learn anything like that, but then they were not being judged based off of their appearance as much. Sure there was some bias given because of muscles or things like that, but it was only girls who seemed to be held up to a higher standard of appearance. It really wasn’t fair. And sadly, I had to admit, it was something I really hadn’t been aware of until I had come to live a female life.

I know knew all sorts of information that is considered foreign to guys, like designers, how to tell someone’s colors, how to wear heels, how to wear makeup and the like. All the other guys I knew would rebel at the thought of going through this. Maybe I was transgendered? Maybe I wasn’t a guy after all, since I kind of like this feminine world.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

I looked over and saw Meredith taking a seat. I smiled at her. “Not much. Just thinking about how men and women live in different worlds.”

“Well, duh…but then again, like you would have known. It’s not like you had to grow up as a second class citizen, or to be judged by your appearance. Your intelligence wasn’t slighted because of hair color or how you dressed determined how loose you were.”

“Yeah. I’m sorry. On behalf of my side of the fence, I’m sorry.”

Meredith smiled, “No worries. It’s not like you were the one who started it or were one of the people contributing to things. I mean you are here trying to fight for equality.”

I shrugged, “Yeah, but I wished I could do more.”

“Well, become a lawyer or something and try to fight against this sort of thing. You are at least doing something about it instead of most boys who stay on their side of the fence and pretend that they are top dogs because they have muscles different from ours.” Meredith seemed to really have similar feelings about this sort of inequality. I was so proud to have her as my girlfriend. “So, why are you just sitting here watching the world go by?”

“Well, I like to do this. I like watching people. The girls of the House know me and with all the stress of the last few days I think I might not really be good company.” I admitted.

“Okay. I understand. But maybe you should mingle a little. I mean, you look really good and it would be a shame for people not to see that.” I could tell she really was trying to get me more involved.

“Okay.” I stood and headed towards a group of people that included Alley. She was busy talking to a number of people, including Nadia. That made me happy. I was hoping that her preconceptions of Sorority girls was fading. I had learned the truth the hard way and I really hoped she learned it in a much easier way.

“…is why I think Creed may be one of the worst bands ever.” finished Alison as I walked up.

“So what do you think of My Chemical Romance?” asked one of the other girls trying to get into the House.

“Not too bad, but a little too emo for my taste. I still prefer The Cure. Their a bit old but their music is still really good.” It looked like she was in the middle of explaining the whole Goth thing.

“Uhm…do you, like, do any dark rituals or stuff? Cause I heard that Goths were like into that whole demon worshiping thing?” I blinked, was this girl for real?

Alison actually grinned. True it was more of a feral grin, but still. “Well, I am pagan but no, I haven’t done a ‘dark ritual’. I mean why would anybody risk summoning something like that? And no, Goths are not into that. At least none of the Goths that I know.”

“So you’re not Christian?” asked another girl, quite surprised by that bit of information.

“Nope. I haven’t been a Christian since I was thirteen. Paganism is more of an Earth based religion than anything else. It sees the earth as sacred and holds that any spiritual path that makes you a better person is valid. It has both male and female deities, because there is balance in the world.” She explained.

Conversation turned as some people drifted away. Alison smiled at me. “Thanks for helping me to stay in this. I am having fun, despite what I thought and the girls of this House are really nice. Maybe I might actually get a chance to stay. I think I would like that.”

“Maybe. The girls here do seem nice and aren’t as stuck up as some of the girls at the other Houses.” I said, thinking back to my visits to those Houses.

“True. These girls feel more…open, like they could accept anything. I like that.”

If only she knew how true those words were, I thought. They really were accepting since they accepted me. “Yeah. It’s nice.”

The evening ended and we all were taken back to the meeting room. We had to wait back at the UC for everyone to get back. Once the last van load of girls arrived the girl in charge of things addressed us. “Okay everyone. Tomorrow at noon is the bid acceptance. We have the bids for everyone right now and they will be handed out. The formal tomorrow is the last chance for the Houses to get a feel for you. The next day we will all meet out in front of Watson Hall, in that big field, for the Houses to call out who they have accepted. If you didn’t make it this time don’t worry, you can try again next semester. Okay, now there are tables set up in the other room to hand out your bids. They are arranged according to the alphabet. Find the sign that has your last name on it and get your bid. See you here tomorrow at noon.”

The hordes descended on the tables. I hung back. There were just too many girls vying for the front of the tables. I just found my table and waited for the sea of crazed women to fade. I got up there, said my name and waited while she dug out my one bid. I really hadn’t expected more but it would have been nice.

It was in a nice envelope and the card itself was really cool. It had calligraphy and a cool border. I liked how fancy it was. It invited me to the formal dance they were holding at the House. I smiled; this was going to be fun.

I drove back to the House and came in the back way. Everything looked like it had been cleaned up, which was kind of cool. I had planned on helping out but the work was already done. I chatted with a few of the girls and then headed upstairs. I was tired from all the emotional ups and downs as well as just the fact of spending that time in heels.

While I was changing Meredith came in. “Hey there sweetie, have a good evening?”

I smiled at her and sighed after she kissed me. “Yes. And the bid card is beautiful. And those cucumber sandwiches were very tasty.”

Merri chuckled at that. “Everyone did notice that. It almost seemed like you took the whole plate of them.”

“I did not.” I had to defend myself against this vicious slander.

She just smiled. “So, want to come spent the night with me?”

I felt a warmth inside and a tingly feeling of happiness roll through me. I smiled happily. I was so glad to see that we had survived the chaos. “Yes please.”

I put on slippers and I headed to her room dressed in my nightgown. A couple of the other girls gave us knowing smiles. I was glad that I didn’t have to sneak around anymore, or hope that we weren’t caught. To be accepted like this was a new and wonderful thing for me.

In high school I was basically ignored, by almost everyone. And of the few friends I had I was never sure how much any of them accepted me. Becca did and she was my best friend. I was coming to discover just how much she was my friend though. She accepted me still, even with all this girl stuff. I loved her for that.

When we got to her room Merri closed the door and hugged me tight. I felt so happy there in her arms. I kissed her and it felt good to melt in her arms. Soon we were on the bed kissing and snuggling. Neither of us seemed to be in the mood for much else, which was fine by me. We both apparently needed simply to feel loved and secure. The way we held each other made that happen.

I was nestled in my favorite spot, head resting on her shoulder, mouth just barely out of reach of her breast. She had her arm around me and I felt safe. I drifted away knowing that she loved me.

I froze, with a piece of toast most of the way to my mouth. Oh Gods…tonight was the formal. I sighed and put down the toast and rubbed my eyes. I had the dress, shoes, everything but in the chaos of everything else I had forgotten to call Paul and I was supposed to have a date for tonight. It wasn’t mandatory but expected. What the hell was I going to do?

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 20

I froze, with a piece of toast most of the way to my mouth. Oh Gods…tonight was the formal. I sighed and put down the toast and rubbed my eyes. I had the dress, shoes, everything but in the chaos of everything else I had forgotten to call Paul and I was supposed to have a date for tonight. It wasn’t mandatory but expected. What the hell was I going to do?

I finished breakfast and went to find Meredith. She was my keeper so maybe she had an answer for me. I knew she had a meeting today about something so I was hoping to catch her right after.

She and several others were in the Chapter room. This was where all the special Sorority things happened. I had been in there already and saw it. It was a really nice room, with a flag of the letters, the Charter and a few trophies they had won in the Pan-Hellenic games. The Sorority seal was inlaid on the floor. The room was awesome.

I took a seat near the room and waited. I hoped that it wouldn’t be too long. It wasn’t. The doors opened and out walked Nadia, Sandra, Gwen and Meredith. My guess was that they were talking about either me or the other people trying to get in.

They all stopped and stared at me. That was really uncomfortable. I stammered out, “Uhm…Merri…can I talk to you for a minute?”

Meredith smiled and headed over while the others dispersed. “What is it?”

“Uhm…er…did I really need a date for tonight?”

“Well, it does look good but if you didn’t call Paul and set something up it isn’t a disaster. With the week you have had I think they can cope. Oh…and Sandra agreed to pay for a trip to the Salon for you, so you can get made up for tonight. OK?” Meredith bounced a little. “I already called my sister.”

I sighed. It looked like another trip to the Salon for me. Meredith really seemed to enjoy thrusting me into situations where I really felt alien. They were getting less scary so maybe that was the point. “Sure. When do we have to be there?”

“Oh…not till 4:30. Then we can get you gussied up just in time for the formal party. It’ll be great.”

I shrugged. “All right. I want to go see Alison and Becca for a bit. I can be back here before then.”

“Sure. Have fun.”

I headed upstairs to grab my purse. I wanted to talk with my friends and to do that and keep the secrecy about me living in the House I would need to do this somewhere else. Maybe I could get both Becca and Alison to have lunch with me?

As I headed towards the Mall, I called both of them. We were going to the Chinese place that Becca had told me about. I liked the food there. Becca and I had eaten there when I first got into town, before all this madness altered my life. Maybe it was an okay thing, this change.

When I got to the Mall I headed in to one of the department stores. I wanted some more earrings and I remembered these places having a fairly good selection. It wasn’t like I wanted anything expensive, just some nice silver hoops. I liked the look and wanted some. Both girls had agreed to meet me there so I was pretty excited. I hoped Becca would like Alison. I was fairly certain she would, but then again you never know.

I found a really nice pair and headed of to the restaurant. It wasn’t that far of a drive and I made it in no time. Becca rushed over and hugged me when I got out of the car. “Cait, what’s up?”

I smiled at her. “Not much. Wanted lunch with my best friend and to introduce you to a new friend.”

“Oh? Is he cute?” teased Becca.

“No you Fellini reject, she isn’t a he.” I started chuckling as what I just said registered. Becca joined in.

Alison arrived as the two of us were laughing. Becca looked over at her then at me and then back at Alison. “Uhm…hi. My name is Becca.”

Alison looked a bit confused. “Excuse me?”

“Don’t worry about her; she’s out of a day pass.” I quipped.

Alison then smiled as things fell into place. “Ah…right. Thanks for calling me. I was just stressing over tonight and I figured I really needed to take a break.”

I nodded. I knew I was a shoe in but the whole formal wear thing was disconcerting. And I was still not to comfortable in heels. Thankfully I hadn’t gotten Paul to be my date. That probably would have overloaded me and I had already had that happen too many times already.

We got inside and got seated. Alison and Rebecca seemed to be getting along well, so that was nice. I was pleased to hear that Alison had actually gotten two Houses to invite her. She was definitely stunned by that and was still trying to juggle which one she really wanted. I told her which house I had gotten and hoped that would help her make up her mind. I thought things would be easier if I had Alison there. She may not know what was really going on, but she was my friend.

The food was excellent and we all seemed to enjoy it. The Mai Fun was awesome and so was their Fried Rice. I could tell that Becca was beginning to like her, especially when Alison admitted to liking Foreign Films. That certainly helped.

I looked at my watch and realized that I was running late, again. I made my apologizes and headed straight to the salon. Alison and Becca both waved bye and returned to their conversation. I wasn’t sure if I needed to be worried about that or not.

Meredith was waiting for me when I got there. “Hey there, I was sure you were going to be late.”

“Sorry. Was busy having lunch with Becca and Alison.”

“Oh…how are they?”

“Alison is nervous and Becca seems to like Alley. They both have a thing for foreign films. Kind of disturbing really.” I shrugged, not much I could do now. I left both of them together so they could plot their welcome to friendship film-fest.

“Well, lets get you ready and we can deal with the scary people later.”

The Salon was still something scary. I mean the first time it had been a whirlwind tour. Then Spa day, where I was flying high from Merri and me getting together. Now I was here with nothing to really distract me from things.

Meredith’s sister waved as we walked in and headed off to do who knows what. We waited and I got more and more nervous the longer we sat there. What the hell was I doing? I was a guy for fucks sake. Guys didn’t get their hair and nails done, get their make up done for them in preparation for some big night. I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths.

That all might be true but I had committed myself to this. Hell, I had even told my mom about all of this. I could do this. And besides, like I was all that macho to begin with. No, I wasn’t a guy’s guy and I had know that since the seventh grade. I was a little runt who had survived by being smarter and more knowledgeable than the other guys. I tied them in circles with my mind and my words. Those were more girl traits than guy traits and I had known that. So, I just had to get over this gut feeling. It was just…what was the word… enculturation.

I had grown up as a guy and had all the training to be a guy. The girls of the House had done a great job of throwing me into the deep end and helping me to swim but I was still in unfamiliar waters. A lot of this stuff was so new, so different that it made me twitch. I knew that Meredith and the others didn’t want me to suffer through this but to rather enjoy this, so I tried. But growing up one way and suddenly trying to be something else was not easy.

Meredith looked a bit worried when I opened my eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Just some things running through my head. Don’t worry.”

“Caitlin, I know you like to keep things in but that is only going to make you more stressed in the long run.”

“I know, but here isn’t the best place to talk about this.”

Meredith blinked as if she was trying to figure it all out. “Is it about the whole…”

I nodded. I was relieved that she didn’t say anything.

“Okay. After we’re done here, we can talk at the House. That should be okay, yes?” I again nodded. I was so lucky to have her in my life.

“Caitlin O’Rourke?”

I looked up and there was the stylist who would be working on me. I smiled and stood up. Meredith came with me as we headed to the back. My hair was going to be trimmed to take care of any split ends and I would get a facial and have my make up done. Meredith rambled out the information about the color of the dress and everything. I could have done that if she had let me know what color the dress was, so I guess she wanted to watch my face when she said pink. I think I disappointed her when I just sighed.

The facial was nice. And while that was soaking into my face, she quickly trimmed my hair. I was getting used to this pampering. Maybe that was all part of Meredith’s nefarious plans, cause I knew she could be nefarious.

Soon enough the woman was working on my makeup, using various brushes and such that I knew I didn’t have in my makeup kit. I tried to pay attention, but it was difficult, especially after the relaxing facial. I glanced over at the clock and was surprised. It had been about an hour since I had gotten called back. I knew the facial had been nice, but I hadn’t expected it to have been that long.

But that meant it was about time to head home and get dressed for the Formal. Merri paid as I headed out to the car, shading my eyes from the sun as I walked out of the building. I had taken a look in the mirror and I looked wonderful. This was still odd. I wasn’t used to all of my flaws as a man playing into benefits as a woman. It was odd and just a bit disturbing. I really needed to spend a bit more time thinking through my plans.

Once we got back to the House I headed upstairs. I did notice that there was a lot of crepe paper hanging all over the place. It did look good but in an inexpensive sort of way. But then again, if this had to be done once a semester, then maybe it did make some sense.

I got out my gown and the heels and hose I was going to wear with it. I had been told that I was going to wear hose and a garter belt and I didn’t really have anything to say about it. The whole outfit had been picked out for me, so no real choice there. This would be the first time I got to see it, as Meredith had kept it in her room. Now it was hanging in mine.

The dress was something else. It was beautiful. It was light and this lovely pink color. The whole get up was just so feminine that it was stunning and I had to wear it. I just sat and stared at it for a while. After everything I had done it seemed like there always was some other step to take me farther and farther away from the things I was used to. And of course it had to be pink.

I sighed and looked at the clock. I needed to start getting ready so that I would be ready in time for the shindig. I got undressed and I carefully pulled on the hose. They were expensive and I didn’t want to get a run in them. I then put on the garter belt. Once I got everything attached I put on a pair of panties, because I actually wanted to have the option of going to the bathroom.

I got the strapless bra on and got my breasts settled into the cups. That still felt weird but it was becoming more and more normal. What would happen after all of this when I didn’t have any breasts? Would that feel weird as well?

I closed my eyes and sighed. I really didn’t need this. I had to finish getting ready for the party and head out. Then when it was all over I could come back here and crash. I needed a break and after tomorrows thing at noon I had a week until classes started. I needed a break. I would have to talk to Meredith and Becca. Maybe we could do something that would let me escape all this madness, if only for a little while.

I looked in the mirror. If I didn’t look at my face I could pretend it was some girl who was standing there in her underwear, but it wasn’t. I was looking at me. I sighed and grabbed the dress. It was cool as it slid over my skin. I shivered a little. The materiel felt wonderful.

I looked in the mirror again. The makeup and the dress color went beautifully together. I looked good. Really good. Perhaps too good. Was I ever going to get back to being Richard?

I grabbed my purse after I put on my heels and headed out. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner I could get out of the dress and pretend I really was a guy.

I drove to the University Center with thoughts rolling around in my head. I managed to get a spot close to the entrance but I just sat there in the car for a bit, letting my thoughts sort of quiet down. I looked at myself in the mirror and I closed my eyes as I felt a tightening in my chest that had nothing to do with my bra. I sighed and opened my eyes again. Richard didn’t look back from the rear-view mirror, Caitlin did.

Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. There should be no way that these characters are like anyone else, but if that isn’t the case, it has definitely been unintentional. Also, if you happen to find that your life is represented in these pages, I’ll be impressed.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 21

I drove to the University Center with thoughts rolling around in my head. I managed to get a spot close to the entrance but I just sat there in the car for a bit, letting my thoughts sort of quiet down. I looked at myself in the mirror and I closed my eyes as I felt a tightening in my chest that had nothing to do with my bra. I sighed and opened my eyes again. Richard didn’t look back from the rear-view mirror, Caitlin did.

I grabbed my cell phone and called Becca. There was something I was wondering and I really needed her help with that right now. It rang a few times and after she answered I started right in, “Becca, do you have any of my clothes? You know…my guy stuff.”

“Yeah. I wanted to offer it to you the other day, but you were too upset. Why?” she asked, somewhat confused.

“I…uh…I wanted to see how I look in them. You know, to see if I look like me anymore.” I was worried about it and I really wanted to see how I looked now. A lot had changed, but how much was it permanent enough that it could be seen when I was dressed in my old clothes? “I wanted to come over, without the breasts and makeup and everything and see how I look.”

“Oh…okay. Don’t you think that’s a bit odd?” Becca sounded concerned, like I was beginning to crack. I can’t really say I wasn’t.

“Don’t you think this whole thing is a bit odd?” I countered.

“Okay. You have a point. So, tomorrow after that sorority thing?” she asked.

“Yeah. I just want to see how I look, see what the difference is.” I was a bit worried. I mean I had lived and dressed as a woman for almost a month. How much had that changed me? Would it be evident to anyone who could look at me? Just how much did the breast forms help? I wanted to know.

I looked at the clock on my car stereo and saw I needed to get in there. I had about another five minutes before I would be late. This would not be something I should miss. The week had already been crazy enough. “I’ll call you tomorrow and set up a time.”

“Okay. Take care of yourself Caitlin. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” The concern in her voice was nice to hear.

I felt warm inside, as if she had just hugged me. The fact that Becca and I had gotten closer again had been another great upside from this whole misadventure. “I love you too. Talk to you tomorrow.”

“Bye.”

I hung up the phone and stored it in my purse, which was little more than a clutch really. I wanted to get into the UC and get this whole thing started, as my butterflies were fighting with each other. There were streams of girls all dressed up heading into the building. Some of them looked awesome and some simply looked okay, as if they had only expended enough effort to qualify as dressed up. I didn’t spot Alison, but I figured we would meet inside.

I got in there and headed over to where our group was supposed to meet. It was everybody heading over to the particular House, marked with the Houses letters. The signs did make things easier.

When I got to the table I looked over the group. It was pretty diverse, which didn’t surprise me all that much, as the girls didn’t seem overly focused on any one thing, like sports or academics. There seemed to be several studious types, or at least I thought so because of their glasses. There was no uniformity color of skin like some of the Houses and there was no uniformity of weight. I was actually pretty impressed by the variety. There were a few who looked the stereotype but that was it. It made me feel so proud to be considered for Sisterhood with them.

I looked over at the front door waiting for Alison to show up. I wondered what she would be wearing tonight, as she always tried to be dressed in all of her Goth glory. She didn’t disappoint.

When she walked in she looked even more like Amy Lee from Evenascence, with her long black dress with a bit of a train that trailed behind her. It reminded me of an outfit she had worn in one of the videos. The room parted and let her in, almost as stunned as others by her appearance. Alison looked incredible. Her hair hung straight and long, glistening like one of those stupid hair commercials. It was simple but worked with the dress. Her pale skin shone, accentuated by the rich black. I was bowled over. She saw me and smiled. “Hey there Caitlin. You look great.”

“So do you. Wow…that dress is incredible.” It really was. I didn’t have the figure to wear such a dress but I could dream about it, right? Right?

The wait wasn’t long and soon each group was being ferried to the respective Houses. We arrived at the House and the group of us entered. I had known that the girls had been working on getting the House ready for this, but I hadn’t expected to see all of the girls wearing formal gowns as well. Several of them had boyfriends with them, dressed in suits or tuxes. I was totally impressed. It was stunning. I mean, Nadia, Gwen…all of them looked awesome. It was like Prom only better.

We were ushered in and then the mingling began. It was like the semi-formal, except that there was alcohol this time. I sipped on some white wine; I think it was a White Zinfandel, so more of a pink really. It was good and sweet and tasted nice. I noticed that it loosened up some of the others fairly quickly and real conversation was beginning. It helped to get some of the more stilted parts of conversation out of the way. I guess this was a good way to get to know us, without people trying to be someone they weren’t. Kind of an odd use of booze, but if it worked…

Alison was talking to a number of people and again I was mostly alone. They knew me and I was a shoe in, so why would they need to talk to me. But it was lonely. I swept the skirt of the dress under me and I took a seat. I just smiled and watched everyone interacting. I wondered if all fifteen of the girls that were here would make it in. Maybe, maybe not. I really didn’t know any of the dynamics that went into choosing people to join. I guess, if I made it in I would find out.

“Hungry?”

I turned and smiled up at Meredith. She had a number of ham and Swiss mini quiches, with a good sized dob of what smelled like Dijon mustard, on a small plate. Her dress was a simple sheath dress that clung to her like a glove and made my heart flutter. If only we could skip out for a while. I shook my head, “Not really. Everyone looks so good.”

“Yeah. One of the reasons behind this is to see what people think of themselves. If you really make an effort then you think something different about yourself than the girl who doesn’t. It is a way to sort of check who has esteem issues, as well as just to have an excuse to wear these beautiful dresses.” Meredith twirled and her skirt flared out. She stopped spinning and smiled broadly at me. I felt a sort of tickling feeling as I sort of felt fuzzy with my love for her. Emotions had never really been my strong point but I had been learning a great deal more nuanced emotions since this whole thing had started.

She came over and plopped down and began eating her quiches, dipping each bite into the mustard first. It was starting to make me a bit hungry. Maybe getting something to eat wouldn’t be a bad idea. I mean…the food was there, right? One of the other girls from the group came over and took a seat at the table as well, breaking my stomachs chain of thought. “This is kind of crazy, don’t you think?”

“Crazy how?” I asked. I didn’t think it was crazy, I thought it was nice. Okay…my part in all of this was pretty damned crazy, but everyone elses?

“I mean…we shell out all sorts of money for these things and this is the best they could do for decoration?” She grumped.

I looked around quickly. The same decorations were there, it still looked like it had just a minute or so ago, so what the hell was she talking about. And given the time they had to get ready between each of the events it made sense to have simple decorations. “How do you mean? I think this place looks nice.”

“Well, Rush costs us several hundred dollars and so if you think about it there should easily be enough money to do better than twisted streamers and such. I mean the foods nice and all but I expected so much more. I wonder what they are doing with the money?” I looked at her confused. Rush cost money? Since when?

Meredith cocked her head quizzically at the girl, her rant definitely attracting Merri’s attention. It reminded me of how birds look at things they are curious about. It was cute and made some of her hair fall across her face. “So, you think all of that money went into things like decorations?”

“Didn’t it?” The girl was obviously sure that it did. She struck me like one of those authorities on everything.

“What about a number of other fees that might be needed, like to be able to have alcohol on campus, to print out a large number of things such as flyers, the various food being served and other items, make t-shirts, etc… What about those aspects?” Meredith wasn’t trying to be aggressive but there was an edge to her voice. I could tell she was starting to get upset. I guess attacking her House was never a good plan. Maybe I should derail this train in the station.

“Hey Meredith, want to come with me to get something to eat? My stomach has finally caught up with me.” I asked, trying to distract her.

“Hunh? Oh…sure.” She stood up and joined me as we walked away from the idiot. What was she doing, attacking something she was trying to join? Was she a bit mental?

Meredith was grumbling a little over the whole thing so I steered us over towards Nadia. Nadia took one look at Merri and headed over. Once my upset sweetie was safely in hand I headed over to grab some of the cucumber sandwiches. I don’t know why they were so good, but I just couldn’t eat enough of them and seeing Meredith’s food had awakened my stomach and had informed me that I had been negligent about a meal. Mea Culpa.

Alison came over and joined me at the buffet, getting a few cheese cubes onto a small plate. She certainly had less food on her plate than I did. “Having fun?”

“Yeah. I really like all the girls from this House that I have met so far. What do you think about them?” I wanted to know. If I was starting to get the hang of things, they were going to let her in the House, which would be so cool.

“There are some really nice girls here. I think I might like it here, if they let me in. Who knows? Thank you for being my friend, Caitlin. I don’t know if I would have stayed with this long enough to get to meet these girls if it hadn’t been for you. Thanks.” Alison hugged me. I admit that I started to get hard. I mean, come on, Amy Lee is hot and Alison reminded me of her. It was uncomfortable, getting hard while tucked and I recommend it highly to no one.

She let go of me and I looked over at the clock on the wall. It was over. I must have been sitting at the tables a lot longer than I had been aware of. I sighed, as a wave of exhaustion rolled over me. “Well, I guess we find out tomorrow if we make it in?”

She nodded and looked over at the clock as well. Our driver came into the House and called for us. The whole group of us all started drifting towards the exit in ones and twos. Soon I could make it home and get some sleep. I was tired and tomorrow seemed like it would be a fairly long day. It was almost over and that would be nice. The week had been too busy for me, with way too many emotional ups and downs.

I think I dozed off some on the way back to the University Center because I woke with a start as the van stopped. I looked around, slightly confused at the other girls. I realized where I was after a few seconds of confusion and that helped. The trip hadn’t been long, but apparently it had been long enough for me to fall asleep. It did look like I wasn’t the only one to be run down by events though. When me piled out of the van I stretched, hugged Alison goodnight and headed towards my car. What a night.

I struggled to stay awake as I was driving. I really did. I even had to pull over at one point and try to wake up some more. It took a while to get back to the House, but I did. I made my way up the back stairs slowly, after having slipped the heels off. My feet ached, I was exhausted and I wanted to get out of the dress. I think I was already mostly asleep when I took my make-up off and used the bathroom. I stumbled over to the bed and fell over. It took me a bit to make my way under the covers as long nightgowns are not good for wriggling in and so I had to adjust my nightgown afterwards.

Gwen wasn’t in her bed. This confused me and woke me up just a little. I tried to figure out where she could be but couldn’t. I realized that I hadn’t seen anyone when I had entered or anything. That kind of concerned me but I was definitely far too tired to care. They were big girls and could take care of themselves. And this was the House, really, what could happen in here?

Since I didn’t have a Meredith to cuddle with I grabbed my bear and cuddled with her instead. It was nice, as she was soft and furry and warm. I closed my eyes and let myself drift off. One more day…one more day and all the Rush stuff was over and done with and I could live a more normal life. That might be a good thing. I wanted to be able to wear jeans again, even though they now fit me very differently than my old ones. I could start wearing things other than skirts. Tomorrow would be a good end to this Rush thing and real life could happen.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 22

I was walking through the University Center, the wind billowing around my legs and up my skirt. I was heading to the food court, weaving my way through people. The crowd was pretty dense but I was a not so big person, so I was able through to slide through several holes in the mass of people.

I slid through one such mass and ran into someone. Whoever they were smelled heavily of Old Spice, which made me think of Bruce Campbell. “Watch where you going!”

I knew that voice. Oh God. I looked up and it was Thomas Fairbanks, the old Quarterback for our football team. I eeped in surprise.

He glanced down at me sharply. “Richard?”

I stood there dazed. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. What was I going to do? “Uhm…”

“Dude, why are you in a skirt. You look like a chick.” accused Thomas.

I spluttered and my head spun. I was paralyzed with fear.

“I always knew you were a fucking faggot! Hey everybody!!” His deep masculine voice honed by years on the playing field immediately grabbed everyone’s attention. “Check this out!”

With that he lifted my skirt and pulled my panties down. My penis flopped out of the tuck, clear as day. “Check out the little Tranny!!”

I didn’t know what to do but my body had a plan. I started to run. However my panties tripped me and I landed ass up, with my skirt on my back. I started crying. What else could I do? The crowd roared with laughter and jeered at me, calling me all sorts of things and none of them kind. My face burned with embarrassment, literally.

I tried to cover my shame but various hands kept me from moving or covering up. I cried, too impotent to do anything else. I barely felt it when the cold steel cuffs went around my wrists and I was hauled upwards roughly.

* * * * * *

I jerked awoke, safe in my bed, covered in darkness. I could hear Gwen breathing softly as my eyes scanned the room, my heart still pounding in panic. Everything had been so clear, so real. I started crying.

I…I didn’t know if I could do this. What if someone found out? I hadn’t been popular at school and if one of those asshat jocks saw me and realized who I was, then I was screwed and the House as well. I would be exposed and then everything would collapse: my new life with friends, any hope of going to school here, my Sorority, basically I would be left with nothing.

I hugged my bear. She was getting a lot of mileage lately and that kind f made me feel bad. But she made me feel a bit calmer and that always helped. I think I finally realized my bear’s name…Felicity. I think my getting her was a felicitous event. She certainly had stayed by me and helped me through some of this insanity.

I sighed as I felt my heart rate slow down. I kept holding Felicity close and tried to relax. I began to get sleepy again as the adrenaline that had been racing through me faded. I lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. Was I really that easy to spot as Richard? Did I really look that much a guy?

I tried to get my mind to shut up and eventually it did. I finally got back to sleep.

In the morning I made sure to shower and clean the sweat off of me. I felt a bit gross. The warm water of the shower was really nice and the detachable shower heads let me direct the water wherever I wanted to. The tension from the nightmare flowed down the drain.

“Caitlin? You in here?” called out Meredith.

“Uhm…yeah. Just getting out now. What is it?”

“You need to get dressed and out of the House right now, like right now right now.”

My heart kicked into gear again. “Uhm…wha?”

“You need to get out of here. We will all see you at the thing at noon. Once you are out we can get to a number of the secret Sorority things we need to get done before today and we can’t do them if you are in the House. So you need to go so we have a chance of being ready by noon.” explained Merri as she was pulling me to my room. I was stumbling along trying to catch up.

I got into the room, still mostly dripping. As I was drying off she was going through my things, pulling out clothes for me to wear. I just focused on my getting dried off. Gwen was only starting to wake up because of the bustling, and I was supposed to hurry?

I dried my hair with the towel and turned to find Merri looking at me. “What?”

“Okay. I got you some clothes. Get dressed and head out. I am sorry this all seems so sudden but we really have to do a lot in a short period of time.” She explained apologetically.

I groused some but in the end I was dressed and out the door fairly quickly. As I drove away from the House I wondered what was going to happen today. I mean…was it really necessary to kick me out?

I looked at the clock on my car radio and tried to figure out what to do. We were supposed to meet at 1130 at the University Center to head out to the last part of Rush. This was where they called your name and you became a pledge. At least, so far as I knew.

I headed for the place with the lovely muffins, thinking that breakfast would be a good first step, since I was rushed off without the chance to grab anything. I headed there and considered what I was going to do.

The dream/nightmare flashed into my mind. What the hell was I going to do about that? I knew, KNEW, that there were a number of people from my High School here and what would happen if I ran into them? I don’t think that had actually been discussed. Granted, I had a lovely false background with the ID’s to prove it, but…

My nightmare could become real and I could be exposed. Things had been so crazy this morning that I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Merri, Gwen, Nadia, anybody about this. I really wanted their two cents on this. Hell I also wanted to talk to Becca about this, but since Friday was her film night she would still be asleep. So here I was, alone with only coffee and muffins to console me.

I had gotten a seat easily and the coffee was quick. It had taken longer for them to heat up the chocolate chocolate chip muffin. The butter was really nice and melted quickly, making the moist chocolaty goodness rich with the flavor of butter. Yum.

The food was making me feel better about life. There was really something about chocolate that really helped. I wish I could figure out what it was, because if it were bottled you could make a fortune. However, who would do that when they could simply get chocolate? So much for that idea.

I figured I could futz around for a few hours, get and early lunch and head off to campus. This was a big deal and I wanted to be ready for it. I had a fairly full tank of gas and this would give me some time to explore the town. I mean I was going to spend four or more years here and I had only run around a few places. Maybe this would be a good time for that. Plus it would give me time to think. And I think I needed to do a lot of that.

What was I going to do? That nightmare was so real that it still scared me. If it ever became real I would never be able to deal with it. Doing this was tough enough and I always felt like someone was going to realize that I had a penis, despite the amazing job that had been done transforming me. Sometimes it was a battle between my urge to explore this world and the urge to hide under my bed. Mostly I exploration won out but with the nightmare and the thoughts associated with it, it was getting harder to keep from hiding.

There were times I wished I was really the kind of person who just took orders because then I would be following what Merri said, or Nadia or Gwen. Hell, if that were the case I wouldn’t have even gotten into this screwed up situation in the first place. I haven’t fussed so much because it was interesting and Merri is really hot and I hadn’t wanted to loose her. It was good to know I wouldn’t loose her if I quit but at the moment it wasn’t much help.

I had seen a number of interesting stores and places as I had been driving about, my thoughts running the same information over and over and over. I still hadn’t come to any conclusion. But it was time and I needed to be heading over to the UC.

I was on the late side this time and I had to park a bit away and ended up walking to the UC. It was hot but I didn’t sweat all that much, the baking had helped with that. I got inside and things seemed to be chaotic. I looked for Alison, but didn’t spot her, which shouldn’t have been a problem. The doors shut and things began quickly.

“Ladies, today is what we have all been waiting for. Today you will get your bids and can get started on the way to becoming a Sorority girl. In a little bid we will be heading out to where the different houses waiting. There we will go down the names and let you know who offered you a bid. You have to make a decision right there, so make sure you know who you want to be with most.

“Each House will be in a solid color t-shirt with the letters, so you should be able to pick them out. When your name is called, make your choice and head over there. After we have gone through the list of names that have been given bids you will then head out with each House and start your first steps in this journey into Sisterhood. Those who are not chosen are to come back to here where we will discuss what will happen from there. Are there any questions?”

The room was quiet, though it buzzed with excitement. The tension was really high and I was glad things were going to be held outside where it wouldn’t be so compressed. Since there were no questions we headed out of the UC and down the hill to a tree shaded area with several hordes in colored t-shirts. Once they saw us they began to sing, each group vying for volume and clarity against all the others. Maybe the girls of the various Houses were as excited as this group?

When the woman who had been running this circus stepped up on a podium so she could be better seen, the crowd grew quiet. The process was deceptively simple. A name was called and when the girl walked over towards that House they cheered wildly. I heard Alison’s name called but I still couldn’t spot her. It really was annoying.

Finally they got to me. I headed over towards the House, spotting them by their letters fairly easily. That and spotting Gwen and Meredith hadn’t hurt much either. They cheered loudly and several people hugged me as I joined the mob. All too soon it was over and we were moving away from the rest of the groups. Sandra got everybody’s attention. “Thank you all for showing an interest in our House. I can honestly say that we are honored to have you among us. Let’s head back to the House where we will have lunch and start your orientation to our Sorority. So hurry off and drive on over.”

I hustled over to my car and drove over to the House. I was excited. The whole name calling thing had been energizing. And this was it, the end of Rush. Now I was a pledge to the House. I was smiling as broad as I could. I really couldn’t believe this. I was becoming a Sorority Girl, of sorts.

There were already a few of the other girls there ahead of me and so I just followed them into the House. It was beautiful. There were fresh flowers everywhere as well as beautiful decorations. The difference between last night and today was amazing. I was so impressed by what they had managed to get done that I was suddenly okay with this morning. Merri hadn’t been kidding.

“Hey there Caitlin.”

I turned and there was Alison, except that instead of being all Gothed out she was dressed really simply in jeans shorts and a black t-shirt. She did have a nice collection of silver on, but she looked so conservative compared to what I had seen her in earlier. “Wow.”

She smiled. “Thanks. I try to save the really Gothy stuff for clubs and wear basic black otherwise. So…disappointed?”

I hugged her quickly. “Not on your life. You look fine however you dress. I am so happy that you decided to stay.”

“Yeah…so am I. I fully expected to be one of the girls still standing on the field at the end of this, but I wasn’t. Thank you for keeping me in.”

“I didn’t do anything except to talk encouragingly to you.” I blushed. I really wasn’t used to praise, especially from someone as hot as she was.

“Well, you had my back and I am grateful.”

We hugged again and found seats at the tables. I wondered what tastiness was going to be dispensed for lunch. Even though I had something small at eleven I was hungry again. Before people started to eat the flowers Sandra stood up and addressed the group again. “For today, you pledges will be served, to thank you for joining our House. Thank you. Now let’s eat before the food gets cold.”

It was Thai food. I almost started drooling when I figured out what it was. There was soup, Pad Thai and Pad Khing. There were also spring rolls and lettuce wraps. I knew I was going to burst from the amount that I ate. It was a lot and it was so good.

There hadn’t been a lot of chatter and people dove into the food and savored the goodness that was the Thai. Soon you could see people sitting back with a stupid happy grin on their faces. Soon enough, everyone seemed to have stopped eating. Sandra again rose, “Ladies, please follow me to the Chapter Room. We will tell you more about the House and what you get to look forward to.”

The double doors of the Chapter Room opened and the group of us walked in. The walls were all hardwood and had been lovingly cared for, almost gleaming. There was a picture of the Shield of the House or whatever it was on one wall and a painting of some Victorian era woman on the wall opposite. There were no windows in the room, and it was big. The whole House could probably fit in here, which was probably the point come to think of it.

This is the last chapter in the current story arc. Enjoy.

College Girl
By poetheather
Chap 23

The double doors of the Chapter Room opened and the group of us walked in. The walls were all hardwood and had been lovingly cared for, almost gleaming. There was a picture of the Shield of the House or whatever it was on one wall and a painting of some Victorian era woman on the wall opposite. There were no windows in the room, and it was big. The whole House could probably fit in here, which was probably the point come to think of it.

The group of us went over and sat down on the padded benches as Sandra and Nadia stood in front of us. The whole group quieted down. Sandra cleared her throat. “Ladies, thank you for joining us. I hope that in a few short months you will all be Sisters of this House. In case you don’t remember, I am Sandra, the House President. This is Nadia. She is in charge of your Rush group. She is the one who is going to take you from normal girls and induct you in the secrets of our Sorority. Until your initiation you are to do anything she says. Okay Nadia, your show.”

Sandra left the room and the group of us looked at each other. We had no idea who anyone was and had no clue what was in store for us. Nadia smiled at us as she walked to the front of the group. “Okay. As you know, my name is Nadia. I am in charge of all of you Pledges until you Initiation. I am responsible for teaching you all about our House and the Sorority. So, let’s get started.”

One of the other Sisters handed out these little three ring binders which were a light blue. “These are your pledge books. Please keep them on you at all times. There are a lot of things you will end up having in them, such as the creed of the House, the coat of arms, information about our charity, etcetera. You will also be interviewing the Women of the House so you can get to know them better. You will be quizzed on this information. So learn this and be ready at anytime to repeat it.”

We all nodded. Nadia scanned us all and nodded. “Good. To let you know, your first assignment will be to learn about each other. Name, major, where they are from, and a couple of other things you can choose. Got it?”

Again we nodded. One of the girls farther down the line said “Got it.”

“Okay. Now, the important things. Our House was founded in 1867. The woman who founded it was a suffragette whose ideas were a little before her time. She had worked with Elizabeth Cady Stanton and others but in the end decided to try things her own way. Maureen Colfax had an idea and that was that women had no power because they were not allowed to reach their full potential.”

Nadia paused to let the information sink in. Several of the other girls nodded and I did as well. Maureen Colfax was pretty smart.

“To that end she founded our Sorority. We are not a House dedicated to Social Activities, Sports or Academics. Our House is dedicated to supporting each and every member in trying to find out who they are and what they can achieve. We want every one of you to follow your dreams and to become whatever it is that you want. To that end we are a Sorority of equals. Our President is the face of the House but not the sole voice. Do you think you can go after your dreams and to become everything you are?”

Nadia ended looking right at me. I swallowed. Well, this certainly explained a great deal of why they had accepted me in the first place, in a way it was part of their credo. However, if they wanted me to become myself and my best then why make me a girl? Why make me have to hide who I really was? But then again, who was I really?

I murmured in agreement with the others. Again and again I was faced with things that challenged the way I saw myself. I thought I had known who I was, but so much had changed. Even something as basic as my body had been changed.

“Okay. Now the group of you is all very different. Before we let you loose for the day you should at least introduce yourselves. Why don’t we start over here? Say your name, major and something about yourself. Amy?”

An overweight girl with straight brown hair stood up. It was obvious that she was nervous and felt a bit out of place. I figured that she had to have been very brave to even have tried to get into a Sorority. “My …my name is Amy. I am still undecided as to my major. And…I am a Legacy to the House.”

The next girl looked like the stereotype of a Sorority girl: blond, thin, pretty. She looked a bit more fit than the other stereotypes I had seen through Rush, which was interesting. “I’m Holly. My major is going to be Geology. Also I am a free climber.”

A number of people looked confused. I was one of them. Free climbing?

“Hi…I’m Devin. I need to find something to do. I kind of like Interior Design but I’m not sure. And I collect Barbie Dolls.” Devin was thin, pretty, flighty, with light brown hair.

The fourth girl was tiny, easily under five feet. She had her dark brown hair in a ponytail with two strands pulled forward, framing her face. “My name is Megan. I want to learn Anthropology. And…” She looked down at her feet and blushed. “I write My Little Pony fan fic.”

A couple of people giggled. My Little Pony? Did they still make those?

This black haired girl, with olive skin stood up and smiled. She was dressed somewhat conservatively, but was still attractive. “My name is Thuriya. I plan on studying Political Science, with a focus on International Law and I am a Sufi.”

I was next. I was really nervous and hoped that I didn’t sound like an idiot. “My name Caitlin. I am thinking about Pre-Law. I…I have fought for equality a lot back at home.”

There were a couple of people who looked at me questioningly. I sat back down quickly, really hoping I didn’t have to clarify things all that much. Alison stood up. “I’m Alison but most people call me Alley or Alleycat. I want to study either Philosophy or Linguistics. I guess the fact that I am a Goth is obvious but what isn’t obvious is the fact that I am a Gymnast.”

That surprised me. She was a gymnast? Really?

A really cute Hispanic girl stood up. She seemed somewhat reserved from her dress and the way her long hair was in a French twist. “My name is Esperanza. I am here for the History program and I am Buddhist.”

Okay. This group was a lot more odd than I had expected. Maybe they wouldn’t freak if they found out the truth about me? Maybe I would be able to be open with them? That would be awesome.

“Hi, I’m Brittany. I’m going to study like Nursing. And I’m like totally a cheerleader.” Of course she was. I had only seen hair that blond in the movies. And just how bouncy could one person be? She smiled and things about her seemed to change. “Actually, I am in Theatre but I am or rather was a cheerleader.”

The last girl stood up. She was really hot, like maybe the hottest girl I had ever seen in my life. She looked as if she could be a model. She was tall, thin with glossy black hair. It was almost blue black. She grinned, happily. “My name is Dawn. I am hoping to get into the Art program. They have a great sculpture program here, which is the reason that I applied. I am looking forward to getting messy. And for something I like…I love playing paintball and roleplaying games.”

She played roleplaying games? Super hotness played RPGs? Wow. That meant that I might be able to get into a game. Awesome. I wonder what that would be like, playing game with a bunch of girls?

Nadia stepped up again. “Okay. Now ladies, there is an additional bit of fun. We have three spots available in the House. We have chosen randomly and the three people in your Pledge Class that have first chance at the rooms are Dawn, Holly and Caitlin. Interested?”

Dawn smiled broadly. “Sure. Sounds like fun.”

Holly frowned. “I’d love to, but I already got a place. I don’t think I can get out of my lease easily.”

I just nodded to Nadia. That was a great way to explain my presence. That way no one would question why I lived here. That was really clever. Nadia smiled. “All right, the next name on the list was Megan. Well?”

“Sure. I’m just getting ready to move into the dorms but the House is so much more beautiful. That would be awesome.” She bounced some but I think she would be someone nice to hang out with.

With that settled, Nadia smiled and let us all go. We would meet back here on Wednesday. We got to have a break from all this Sorority madness. I liked that. And I could deal with other things in that time other that Rush.

I said goodbye to the others and headed out. A couple of them were going out together but I needed to see Becca. I had the solvent and the glue in my purse, so I was ready to see how I looked. I was interested in what the final result would be, once the make up was removed and the breasts taken off. What did I look like any more?

The trip to her apartment wasn’t long, as traffic was pretty light. It was still easy to find a parking space so that wasn’t a bother either. Soon I was in the apartment with Becca. We hugged. “Hey there Cait, what’s up?”

“Well…I wanted to see what I looked like, remember?”

She smiled. “Come on in. I have your clothes in your old room. Go ahead and change. Need any help?”

I shook my head. I had gotten fairly good with the whole application and removal of my breasts. The fact that I could say that calmly was a bit disturbing. I undressed, folding my clothes as had become my new habit, even my underwear. I took the solvent and slowly worked it under the breast forms. It took a bit of time but they came off and I was left with very pale skin under there.

I rubbed my chest. It was a bit sore, what with the weight and all and the rubbing actually felt good. In a way it was about as good as rubbing them once the bra was removed. I stood and turned to my guy clothes. I pulled on my tiddy whities, enjoying the fact that I didn’t need to tuck and pulled up the jeans. Next was a t-shirt that I loved. I had worn it all the time before this. This was how I generally looked all the time. I wiped my face clean with a make up wipe and took out my earrings. It was time.

My heart beat rapidly and my palms got a bit sweaty. I was so nervous about this. What if I looked into the mirror and saw only Caitlin looking back? What if I looked into the mirror and only Richard looking back? What the fuck was this really going to prove anyway? I didn’t know, but I wanted to at least see what had happened.

Becca was hovering around when I came out of my old room. I smiled weakly at her. The full length mirror was in her room. I hadn’t known then how useful they were, but that was another change that had happened. I had one just like this back at the House but certainly not here. She followed me into the bedroom; I guess she was just as nervous as I was.

We closed the door to her room and there I was. The mirror showed everything, with me looking back at me. My first impression was that Caitlin was looking back, but then I realized that was just the way my hair was cut changing the way I looked and also there was the way I was standing. I shifted some and took a closer look at myself.

Every time I could see Richard something would clue me into seeing Caitlin. Every single time. But every time I saw Caitlin, Richard would suddenly appear. I wasn’t one or the other. Somehow, in some way I was both. Even being in my old clothes I looked like her. And what could I do with being a bit of both. Did I want to be androgynous? Did I want to look like something that had only been mixed a little bit? Was I some sort of halfbreed?

Becca came up and gave me a hug when my eyes started tearing up. What the hell had I become? I turned into her shoulder and cried.

I had used to be a guy, just a guy and nothing else. Sure I had been scrawny and hadn’t really developed but did that make me a girl? Did looking good in girl clothes make me a girl? Did being comfortable in them? Did having fun with the girls make me one? What was the difference between guys and girls anyway, besides the whole penis thing? Was I different from them at all?

I knew there had to be differences but right now, looking at the mixed up image that was me, they all eluded me. If this is what happened to me after a little over a month what would be the case after four years? Would there be any Richard left? And…did I really mind?

I left the embrace of Becca’s arms and headed out to the living room. I dropped into the couch and rested my head on my hands. I didn’t want to leave the Sorority. I had made promises that I intended to keep but at the same time I wasn’t so sure that I wanted to abandon my life as Richard. Caitlin was popular and well liked by a large group of people whereas Richard was a virtual nobody. The friendships and emotional connections I had as Caitlin were addictive. I felt like I had been in the desert my whole life only to be unsure of the fresh water in the oasis.

“Are you okay, Richard?” The worry was obvious in Rebecca’s voice. She sat down next to me carefully.

“I don’t know. Becca, what am I supposed to do? I feel trapped by this and I don’t even know why. I can’t tell who I am anymore.” I started crying again.

“Richard, listen to me.” I looked up into her face. It was as tear stained as mine. Gods, I didn’t deserve her as a friend.

“You have been happy for the most part, yes? And you are the strongest believer in the idea of equality that I have ever known. Now you are living this girl’s life and starting to get a taste of things. When classes start you will see just how much guys try and make us second class citizens. You will live the inequality and I know it will make you want to fight. Who you are to me is someone brave enough to stand up and denounce something as wrong, despite it being unpopular. You are the bravest man I have ever known and I am proud to have you as my best friend.”

I sat there, stunned. Bravest? Me? I wasn’t anything like that. I kept thinking in a lot of ways I was a coward, giving in rather than fighting. Wasn’t that what I had done so far? Just let Meredith have her way?

“I know you and I know you can do anything you set your mind towards. Just because you are Caitlin doesn’t make you any less Richard. It’s just clothes, there just things added to you to make you look different. But you’re not. You are still Richard O’Roarke, even if you look hotter in a skirt than I do.” She nudged my shoulder playfully.

I smiled softly. Were things really as bad as I was making them out to be? “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I have been going about this the wrong way. Maybe I should just try and calm down and look at things. Thank you so much Becca. I don’t know what I would do without you. You are my best friend and I love you so much.”

After we hugged we sat back. She ordered pizza, something with no meat and very tasty. We sat there, ate, had some beer and watched one of her cheesy Foreign Films. I suffered through the subtitles and had to admit that I did enjoy the film. It was some sort of Italian film about a poet and a mail man. The poetry was incredible and it was nice. Life was looking up.

So, sure my curiosity and sense of humor got me into this mess, but maybe, just maybe I was starting to enjoy it. I wasn’t sure where any of this was going to take me but for right now I was okay with that. Let’s see what the start of the school year would bring.