My name is Willy and Summer Camp started for my sister and me as soon as school was out in mid-June. Our Mom was in France this summer for work so our time at camp would be through all of July, maybe into August.
Willy started at Camp Arrowhead but that and a few other things changed on my tenth day.
If something seemed impossible, kids at school or camp would say get Willy, “Willy can do it". Unfortunately, the same could be said about getting into trouble. He was a bit smaller and a year younger than some of the guys he hung around with. They let him hang around with them because if they wanted to figure out how to do something without getting caught and couldn’t: someone would say "Willy can do it."
The boys’ camp was separated from a girls’ camp, Camp Rainbow by 40 acres of a forest reserve, and for over 100 yards out into the lake there was a net in the water clear to the lake floor to keep the boys out.
Each year they sought to make the fence to the reserve impossible to penetrate and Camp Rainbow did the same with the fence and netting going out from the shore and out into the lake. Willy spent his free time the first weekend there finding solutions to the problems.
Happily, others had not figured out how they got into the preserve last year, They just had to remove the rock from their entrance to the burrowed tunnel and place a new rope ladder that went down the cliff on the other side.
Chuck brought enough new rope for one ladder and he and two guys tied together the new ladder for this year. Willy was the one who could safely scale the boulders to set the ladders in place and workable by hidden ropes on the ground. They used that route sparingly because of an eagle’s nest higher up and some 20 yards over on a different slope.
This year’s way through the net took a second and third effort into Sunday. The rope netting was made of this thick rope with a wire going through it. The weights and ties along the bottom were heavy and the best yet. For seventy-five feet there were water lilies in stagnant water for over half the distance and a thick growth of reeds the remainder.
No one, was crazy enough to go through that area or in their right mind wanted to pay the price to find or make a way through the water lilies as the stagnant water was putrid. A route cut through the reeds seemingly would be too obvious, and the entrance, and exit, would be too obvious on either side. But that is why Willy's route through the reeds worked.
Willy learned they didn’t need to make the opening through the net as the net there was hung up between two rocks near the bottom, creating a nice gap all on its own. Willy showed two guys on Monday during FOB (flat on back). The opening to the route on either side quickly had a zigzag so it appeared to go nowhere. The swimming path didn't appear until one was 10-12 feet in on either side.
Come the tenth day, right after lunch until close to 2 p.m. the guys would initiate their plan. What was most enjoyable, was the fact that Camp Rainbow counselors had a break time then. Several older campers and counselors were sunning themselves on the floating platform furthest out from shore. They're sunning their backs with straps undone.
Wednesday the surprises of summer would start early. Four Arrowhead campers gulped lunch and swept around the camp buildings, with waterproof cameras and waterguns in hand. We were down to our swimsuits as we hit the water, with our dry clothes hidden on shore.
Jeff had brought a few Supersoaker water guns that easily fired over sixty feet. The unexpected cold water had as planned the expected effect. Two cameras took pictures of four counselors jumping up unprotected.
Three were embarrassed and dove for shore. Lisa a friend of Willy's sister, moved to come after them, but she slipped and hit her head on the platform as she slipped into the water.
Willy's friends were swimming out of sight and back for camp. His concern was for his sister's friend Lisa; she was in the water and unconscious. Willy called to the other girls but they were on their way to shore.
One reputation the Landis family had was a concern for others. Leaving Lisa hurt in the water would haunt him including everything his Dad had taught Willy. One thing if Willy was caught it was usually for a more noble cause. Not because he couldn't have gotten away. This time was no exception. Willy did not swim away but to Lisa and as he pulled her head above water. He wasn’t sure if she was breathing. The fact that she was not fighting him wasn’t a good sign.
He called her name and felt the back of her head where she hit the platform. There was a lump and a little bit of blood. Lisa was as big as Willy which wasn’t a problem in the water. He pulled her around to the ladder, but he couldn’t pull her up nor would he get her to help herself.
Willy saw two staff people swimming toward them and a lifeboat. Willy pushed Lisa toward the first swimmer as she neared.
He was set on swimming and getting away. He tried to submerge and swim undetected, but someone grabbed his ankle and another person took hold of his wrist. Lisa was not as helpless as he thought, and Lifeguard Sharon was just a better swimmer than Willy.
Sharon turned Willy's eyes away as they lifted Lisa into the boat and Sharon waved them to go to shore to get Lisa attended to. Sharon told Willy to allow her to pull him to the shore without him fighting against her. Reluctantly he agreed.
Willy had hoped to see some women up close, but this was his worst nightmare, not his dream. Once they got to shore Sharon’s anger took a creative approach. “Does anyone have a lipstick marker?”
“I have lip-gloss for sun protection,” a camper said and she handed it over to Sharon. “I owe you.” 'Camp Rainbow,' she wrote on his left shoulder blade in a crimson red. The girls began to giggle at him.
Sharon asked questions: “What’s your name, young man? And who were the other boys involved?”
One thing Willy would not do was to tattle-tell on others. “Is Lisa alright,” he asks. He was feeling bad that someone got hurt and surprisingly to himself he was sad enough that he almost cried.
One girl suggested they humble him and apply the lip gloss to his lips. Sharon was angry over one of her girls being hurt and his refusal to speak. So she had him hold up his head as she applied an ample coat of lip-gloss. “Do you know how to press your lips together?" Without further directions, he did which brought a smile from Sharon and giggles from the camp girls. Sharon said, "Hmm, nice little girl."
“Does anyone recognize him? He knew Lisa’s name, so I am sure he knows people or is related to someone at our camp.” She turned to him and asked, “You do, don't you”?
With that, she led him over to the Administration offices. She took him to the nurse's office and told me, “Go in sit down, and don’t try anything.”
That got him thinking and as he spotted an open window he took off. Sharon caught the boy by his swim trunks at the waist, but he did not give up so easily. He tried to kick and shake loose. He only wrecked his swim trunks, tearing the elastic cord and waistband.
“Too bad you spoiled brat! Now go behind the screen and take your swim trunks off and I will get you something to change into.” Willy knew from being to camps enough that a camp infirmary usually had extra clothes for times like these.
He didn’t anticipate the clothes were for girls; a pair of panties, a short skirt, and a girl’s beige top thrown back. “You must have a pair of shorts and a camp shirt,” he yelled back.
The lifeguard said, “Yes we do, but you are not getting them until you cooperate. I suggest you quickly put those on as the Camp Director is heading over here now. You can put them on or hold a towel over your lap.” A towel was thrown over the screen.
Two people came into the infirmary and he quickly put the clothes on. Director Laura asked, “Where is the young man you apprehended?” Laura thanked Sharon for what she had done, and the boy heard her tell Sharon, "Lisa appeared to be alright but will probably be held at the hospital overnight as a precaution."
Sharon asked, “Are you decent behind the screen?”
“No, I feel lousy! How can I be okay like this?” Sharon pulled away from the screen and he was sitting there as a boy in a skirt with a short-sleeved blouse and holding folded hands in his lap to hold down the skirt.
Director Laura asked, “What’s wrong with how you feel?”
“I caused a friend of my… I caused a person to be hurt, I am sorry, I know I'm in trouble, and I have no excuses.”,
Sharon was disgusted, “Do you expect that your words of apology excuse what you did?”
The Director said, “Why don’t you tell me, young man, what happened and why you feel remorse now?”
Willy said, “Shouldn’t I be quiet and wait for the police and shouldn’t you tell me my rights?”
“The police will be coming but I am neither the Law nor obligated to wait for them. So if you would, I would like to hear your story, before and maybe instead of involving the law.”
She says, “I think I recognize you but I can’t put a name or other faces with yours yet. I suspect one is a sister and the other is a father or mother you look like?”
Willy's head was down as he said, “My father died years ago. I suspect you will know my name soon enough.”
Her face lights up, “You’re Susan Landis’ younger brother. It is your mother Marie that you resemble as does Susan. If I remember right your father was Bill or William and that makes you ‘Willy’."
It is as though a light goes on in her thinking, “If I am right, we have been trying to catch up with you for at least two plus years, and now we have. So please if you would tell me your story? I would also like to know if you are Willy, the 'Can do boy’?” Others lightly giggle and are amused at her last statement.
He lightly joked, “Well you know how guys will be. The harder things become, we try hard. When you try to make this a forbidden place and have girls over here, we will work to find a way. I doubt I can take credit for what you credit to “the Can Do Kid”.
“I found a hidden way through the reeds and we used FOB time to sneak over. We didn’t mean for anyone to get hurt. We expected all the girls to stand and freeze before diving in toward the beach. But Lisa came toward us and was going to dive in when her feet slipped and she hit her head.”
He continued “I yelled for the girls swimming to shore to help her, but I don’t think they heard or knew what happened. The guys were already swimming back. When I looked back for Lisa, she was in the water. She wasn’t moving and just barely floating there.”
The Director, “How did you know it was Lisa and that she needed help?”
He said, “Lisa’s a friend of… my sister. I didn’t know if she needed help, but I knew I had to check and help her.”
“Didn't you realize you might get caught if you did?”
“I don’t plan on getting caught, but I knew if Lisa was hurt, it didn’t matter. My sister wouldn’t ever forgive me. I had already dishonored my Dad’s name; I couldn’t risk something worse happening. I am sure no one will believe me or care, but I don't leave people in trouble like that. I don’t blame you for what you might think.”
The Director says, “Aren’t you afraid of what your Mom will say?”
He said, “I hope I don’t ruin things for her; she is in France. She is a representative for her company and on a project. I don’t want to go to a juvenile center, but I hope they send me there so she won’t have to come right back.”
“Mister Landis, you’re right the courts could send you to a juvenile center but I suspect they would want your mother to come back and accept responsibility for what you did anyway.”
Willy says, “My Mom has done a great job raising us; I am the one who is responsible for what went wrong. You can do whatever you want to me, just please...”
Director Laura continued, “What would you do, not to cause a bigger problem for your Mom?”
Willy said, “I’m afraid that’s too late but I would do anything if it meant Mom didn’t need to come back.”
She said, “I know your Mom. You are right it would probably be a help if she didn't need to come back, not to mention the extra expense of flying back. The risk of it hurting her career is unknown but that could be a possibility. If I call soon we might get her before late at night there.”
He eagerly says, “Do you think you can do something so she won’t need to comeback?”
“I think your mother is just the kind of parent who could creatively handle it from where she is. But you will need to be a person of your word and accept the responsibility. If needed, I would have no problem telling your mother she needed to come back and take responsibility for you.”
Willy pleads almost to the point of tears, “Please if you can, do what you can and I will assume my responsibility for it.”
“So how does it feel to be caught by a woman,” asks Sharon.
“I have an older sister, and a mom and go to school run by women, so it’s nothing new. I might have gotten away if I didn’t mind kicking or hitting a woman, but I don’t do that.”
Sharon says, “If you tried to fight your way free, I was ready and I don’t think you would have gotten away.”
Willy says, “You may be right.”
“While the Camp Director is holding off the law and trying to get a hold of your mother, why don’t we go and get us some lunch.”
“Give me some decent clothes and I will go but I am not hungry enough to go through being hassled.”
“Well you have decent clothes for a girls’ camp, all you need is something for your feet. If you want something more, like make-up or your hair brushed out we can take care of that.” Sharon turns to the campers in the room, ”Someone have Susan Landis come here, maybe she can help.”
Willy thought, 'My sister will be very upset and the result was I would be made up as a girl and go to the dining hall. So with a pair of sandals, he went with Ms. Sharon to the camp dining hall. Luckily, activities had started there was a small remnant that saw him dressed as a girl.
Just as they got to the dining hall he received a big push from the back, and heard, “Why did you do something so stupid little bro?” They would have been in a fight except Sharon spoke up. “Susan that is not acceptable… I am the one who called you here.”
“Director Laura has to call your mother, you may want to go over and see if you can say hi to your mother. Then come back and help me keep your brother in line.”
Susan was quickly off, but not before she asked, “Does this mean I am getting a little Sis to be at Camp with me?” Willy had not thought of that possibility. Maybe going to a juvenile center was not so bad of an idea. But he was sure Susan was just teasing.
Several staff members had been there or came in to eat with Sharon. One staffer, Tess, just in for coffee and offered to paint Willy's nails. He said no, but Sharon said, "That would be an excellent safeguard from him running and hiding somewhere as a boy."
Tess offers a couple of possibilities and Sharon says, "The Plum would best go with the lip-gloss."
Tess asked him to stick out his hand; He looked around at everyone staring at him. Finally, he presented both hands; one staff member took her emery board to one hand and Tess was working on the right hand. She cleaned the fingernails, worked around the cuticles, and then used a tool to shape them.
Sharon did forbid them from using extensions. The head cook came over to complain, but when she saw it was the boy. She said, “He deserves to have the fun of being a girl; It would be a good experience for him.” Tess continued, he and others would not have believed how she transformed the appearance of his fingers and hands. Had it not happened right in front of them most would not have believed the change of his appearance.
"Does anyone know where we have a belt or leash?" Willy laughed as he thought she was kidding. But it was a game they had developed like flag football. They had also been used for trust walks.
Sharon said she would use one to keep an eye on him and still do her duties at the beach and water areas. It was very embarrassing as young campers and teens saw him parade around in a short skirt, looking a sweet little like a girl.
He got a lot of advice such as he needed to shave his legs, sitting up straight, and keeping his legs together. Several commented he would look pretty nice; if he stayed long enough he'd look prettier. Several suggested to Sharon, he should change into a swimsuit if he's to stay near the water.
One young camper asked if he had sun protection on. Willy said, "It probably washed off when I was in the water." She told Sharon, "Even a bad boy should have some sunscreen." Sharon asked Susan to put the sunscreen on his legs and face and Tanya to put it on my arms and elsewhere.
It was embarrassing as Susan went high up his legs and under the skirt. Luckily the sunscreen was put on as he was bored and fell asleep. Susan took the opportunity to paint his toenails. When he woke up he was sporting a three-strand gold necklace, matching bracelets, and even an anklet.
It was a while before he realized his toes were painted. He had seen the bracelets, but not the anklet or the necklace. Sharon received news that the Director had reached the mom and they were working out the consequences.
He asked if he got a say and Susan responded, “Agree or go with the police.”
He jokes, “Going with the police would be easier.” Several laughed but no one said anything. Sharon finally said, “Relax the Director has not told any of us, except it should be acceptable and a good deterrent.”
“That sounds good for everyone except me.”
Another bit of information is that the waterproof cameras did not get good pictures. Whoever took the pictures was startled when the girls jumped up and got mostly the sky instead. He had taken a good picture of the group before the event.
He was told, "The other boys are being sent home for two days if they do not argue about the punishment." When Wily saw the picture he said, "Two of the guys in the picture were not in on the raid."
They had been told that but did not believe the guys who said it. Willy was still on the hook about naming the full group.
Sharon spoke, “They also said you had made a route through the forest reserve that is still working. Their confession is the reason, they are only having a two-day suspension from camp activities. They said you were the only one to know the full plan.”
He asked, “Does that mean my punishment is two weeks or less? Since I am cooperating.”
Sharon reiterated, “You haven’t cooperated, all you admit is that you were caught and two guys in the picture weren’t part of the raid. …Oh! You might be happy to know that Lisa is alright and will be back tomorrow. Maybe she'll recognize those who participated.”
A camper was sent to get Susan, Sharon, and Willy for a report. They met in Director Laura’s office and she started to go over the agreement made with their mother. Willy responded, “No way am I doing that or that my Mom approved it!”
He hadn’t been told we were on a conference call with his mother in Paris. “It is after midnight young lady and the agreement has my input and you better accept it. If I need to spend our vacation money to travel back and possibly lose my promotion or job; you would find the consequences far worse.”
He moaned, “But the full summer would not be fair; the other guys just had two days.”
His Mom said, “You endangered Lisa’s life, I am not responsible for what others decide, but you will cooperate and become a good Rainbow Camper. And you will not embarrass your sister or me anymore. Do you understand and do we have an agreement?”
“Yes, but what break do I get for dismantling the way through the forest?”
“We expect you to show us the reserve route; if you want a break you will need to give us the names of all in on the planning of both routes and the raid. …Your mother didn’t think you would cooperate so an alternative wasn’t offered.”
Susan tells him with a giggle, "Like me, young sister, you're in the progressive camp that is geared toward helping girls grow up and deal with their life challenges."
He asked what that entailed. He was told about the use of make-up, self-defense, choosing appropriate clothing, health care, and more. “I can handle what you are telling me, but somehow I believe there is more than what you say there is."
Laura, “Susan would you be open to helping your younger sister get ready to shop for some clothes? If you want you can go with us or stay, but she needs to get enough stuff for a couple of days at least.”
He asked, “Don’t I have a say?”
Director Laura Hall says, “Yes, are you willing and open to cooperate and be a good Rainbow Camper? Officer Julie Cordell is willing to come out and receive you if you decide to go that way. But we are at a place we need to proceed one way or another. ...You won't be free to change your mind if you stay here. If you are unwilling to allow it to work, we will be free to ask you to go. My next question would be the name you would like to go by if you stay here?”
Mom says over the speakerphone, "‘Patricia Lea Landis’ would have been your name if you were born a girl or if I had a girl later. I suggest you consider Patti or Tricia during your time at camp. We will honor whatever you decide.”
Susan smirks, “Mom warned me against any temptation to tease or be too hard on you. She knows it will be dificult for you at first to live by the stipulations. She asked the Camp and me to help you.”
Mom says, “I will be calling you two back in two days to make sure you are doing as asked and to make sure you have the support you need Patti.”
“Sue, I know what I did was wrong, but I am not the bad guy who didn’t take responsibility. I don’t know why I am being punished so much.”
Susan retorts, “You trespassed into our camp, you were a peeping Tom, trying to get indecent photos and caused one of my friends to get hurt. You embarrassed Mom and me, and almost cost our Mom thousands of dollars and her job, and if you mess up you may still do it. …Director Laura offered the right consequence to the right parent.”
“I can’t live as a Rainbow Camper for one day, don’t worry about it through July. A guy can’t be a girl, yuck, what could be more disgusting!” Willy's frustrated,
Susan says, “’ Yuck, disgusting’ What is bad about being a girl? Your mother is one and I am a girl. If you live a few more years you will be dating girls. You will make a cute girl when you get over the jitters.”
It was rather late to shop, but Director Laura had called into one shop, and as long as there would be a sale they’d stay open and let them get their shopping done. Dir. Laura handed him a purse to get going. Two lessons right at the beginning: The purse had long straps so it was to be over the shoulder, with his arm and hand on the outside of it. Secondly, he had to swing his legs in and out of the car, learn how to sit, and keep his modesty intact. That was Susan’s first test at not giggling, Willy would give her a C.
Once they were at the store he noticed the silence, so he swung out his legs, and as gracefully as a guy might he got out to the car. He made sure he had the purse held correctly. His steps were too long and too wide. They corrected him before they were in the store. Susan whispered to pitch his voice up, but not to mistake tone for volume.
He said, “Thanks, Sue.” She smiles in appreciation.
There was one young salesgirl along with the owner. She came over to Susan and Patti. Susan said, “Patti decided to stay at camp but did not bring needed clothes, so she needs some panties, a bra, socks, shorts, tops, and a bit of make-up, please.
"My name is Heather, Patti. I will be glad to help. So Patti comes this way. I hope you enjoy your stay at Camp Rainbow. What made you come and decide to stay?”
“My Mom thought it would be good for me and I thought it would be a good alternative.”
Heather says, “Are you excited that there's a boys’ camp nearby? I hear there are some shared activities.”
“That interests my sister more than me, but, yes, I know they are there.”
Heather showed Patti panties and asked about the size and style she wore. Susan interrupted asking if Patti could be measured as she had been grown a bit. Heather measured and said, "I would recommend a size #2 in panties and a size three/four in tops and shorts or jeans. The Director said, "She needs at least two short skirts."
Heather suggested, “You might want to try a combination skirt and panty set like what the golfers and tennis players use.” He quickly thought golfers and tennis players don't wear such outfits, but he was thought like a guy. He quickly picked out a pair of jeans and a pair of shorts.
Susan said, “One plain pair of each, but let’s pick out others that are a bit more fashionable and will look good on you. Here take these and try them on.” Everyone else noticed better than him that his legs needed to be shaved. They got several tops and he was relieved to think they were done.
“Don’t forget two swimsuits, remember Patti you didn’t bring your swimsuits with you,” Heather spoke about the rumor of one boy being caught. "I heard he and another male camper were being sent home."
Heather said, “Most of the boys are excited about seeing pretty girls like you but hopefully they don’t get carried away like them. ...Officer Jamie said, "She for one wished they allowed her to pick him up. She’s a good trooper and hoped to give him a taste of his own medicine.”
“Officer Jamie is good,” Laura said, “But she knew his mother and I had agreed he would be properly punished.”
Heather said, "We have some more swimsuits coming in tomorrow, but we have this cute two-piece suit and your choice of this red one-piece or the green." She holds out the green suit and Susan says, "That's a better style for her as it goes well with her hazel eyes.”
Patti was forced to try the green suit, she worried about showing too much. Laura handed him a package and suggested if she wasn’t sure how to use it to ask for Susan’s help. It was a napkin pad that was narrow enough for the suit and sufficient enough to hide his male parts.
Patti was a bit red as she emerged from the changing room, but Heather said she looked mighty cute and did not need to be shy as she looked like one of the girls.
They had a limited selection of shoes and sandals, and she bought a pair of each and Heather helped her quickly pick out some make-up and skin care products.
She was surprised when she checked her purse for money to pay for as much as she could. Patti had just over $100 there so she paid for $95 worth and Susan used her Mom's debit card for the rest. The total was over $200.
On their way back to camp, they stopped so Susan could quickly run into the convenience store and get a razor, shaving gel, shampoo, and conditioner as well as a girl's deodorant and other needed items.
When they got back Susan took Patti to camp #5 five, the Blue Belles, where she would stay. They had a tent for Counselor Samantha and Patti. She correctly guessed they did not want her running away or be too far away from the other campers.
Susan sent over a pair of teddy bear pajamas. Patti like the other girls had to go out to the campfire to sing and have fun each night. She felt she was on display with so many others looking at her. One girl asking how it felt to be on display, said, “Wait until you are in a swimsuit.”
One girl came behind Patti and asked, "Would you mind if I do something with your hair?
She responds, "If it would be an improvement, I don’t mind." The result was the group adopted her as their project as a Bluebell and Rainbow Camper.
Before Patti could turn in, Samantha took her to the showers to shave her legs and shower properly. Sam checked and made her do better and get tough areas closer. She checked where Patti could not and where hair had developed.
Samantha woke Patti up at 4:30 saying it was her responsibility to use the facilities when the other girls did not. This time she had Patti shampoo and condition her hair and pat it dry a bit before they returned to their tent area.
Sam helped Patti with her bra after she had a pair of panties and a short skirt on. It did not cover as much as Patti wanted but it was two inches longer than the one Susan chose for her. Margaret and Staci passed by as she was putting on her bra, but she was sure they saw nothing. Nothing, there because that was what she had.
Samantha brushed and combed out her hair, then she began to roll it up and pin it in curlers and used a setting gel. Girls could not regularly wear curlers to breakfast, but they made an exception for her today. She had to help clear tables after others left,
Sam brought out a hair blower and blew dried her hair to set the gel. She then took out the curlers and brushed the hair into the desired style.
Patti would have been very pleased if she saw herself as Patti. But she still saw Willie so this looked silly. They had her change into a nice soft yellow camp shirt with straps that were just over an inch wide. Lucky or planned she was not sure but the bra and top straps matched.
Patti's bra strap was snapped at least 10 times that morning. Someone snapped the snap and it became unsnapped. Patti asked for help, but Samantha said, "You need to do it by yourself as most girls have to learn." She thought of turning the bra around, but because her top was on that would not work. It took her five minutes and a demonstration by Samantha before she finally managed.
After lunch, she's to be FOB (Flat-on-back) in one of the group’s two bunk wagons. She gave the girls needed time to change as they wished. Her sleeping bag was on the floor. They did not use sweet perfumes that might attract bugs, but she still got mists from two different sprays. One girl was on top of her forcing Patti to wear moisturizing lipstick. It was rose pink. They enjoy her panty skirt outfit and giggle about her selecting it at the store in town.
At 1:30 the camp bell rang as a warning and they were all instructed to go to the beach area. Once there Patti was given an anklet to wear. She was asked to get into a canoe with lifeguard Sharon and another counselor. A van rode over to the beach, and Lisa was welcomed back to camp.
Sharon and Carol set out toward the net as Sharon asked Patti to point out the area where Willy and the others came in from. He directed her toward the reeds. Patti showed her the area. But Sharon said it was only a dead end.
Patti said, "If you're good at swimming underwater and have a pair of goggles, I could show you but not with the anklet."
Sharon told Carol she would check; she was back in five minutes to verify the route. But as she was ready to get into the canoe, Patti told her at least two stupid boys just swam under the canoe on their way back. Sharon quickly went under the water and in few minutes was back with one boy’s swimsuit.
Sharon smiled, “I wasn’t going to risk anything inappropriate but we caught them with their pants down. …Why did you tell me today when you didn’t yesterday?”
Patti said, “I thought today's prank was in bad taste, plus I am now a Rainbow Camper.”
Carol said, “You’re telling us you wouldn’t have been tempted to jump in if you didn’t have that anklet on.”
Patti said, “I might have been tempted, but I'm not crazy, You already know me. I know the position of my Mom and sister. If you would have asked me to promise not to escape I would have given you my word. You could have my word on it if you want it. I already agreed to as much with my Mom.”
We already had a lesson time in the morning so Patti was surprised to find out she started the afternoon with another. This one was called life lessons and today’s was about menstruating. She sat down in front and told not to look around as it was a very sensitive topic.
Jane the Camp Nurse asks, "Who has not already had their first period please raise your hand?" Then asked, "How many of you girls have had the maturing of the female body and having a period explained to you?" The Camp Nurse asks Patti, “Patti are you saying that you had your first period and that your mother or someone explained things to you?”
Patti was upset, “You know I have not because I am not…”
Jane said, “I do not want excuses or you to be rude. You are participating as a Rainbow Camper are you not?” She agreed and Jane explained that they would see a video on this topic and one Rainbow Camper would help in the demonstration that followed.
Nurse Jane chose Patti to help and asked what she learned from the video. Willy's wit kicked in and she quickly responded: “More than I ever wanted to know?” The girls all giggled, but Patti was called up to share which was the tampon, which was a pad, and which was a shield. When she was finished the other girls applauded as she had not joked anymore and had gotten everything correct. We were told anywhere from 40 to 85% of the girls usually knew all the answers when they first came to camp, depending on their age.
Nurse Jane gave her a box of twelve shields to wear when swimming or if her panties were likely to show too much. It was none too soon as they were swimming next. At Camp ArrowHead all they needed to do was to be sure the camper could swim. Camp Rainbow taught the various strokes and broke the larger group down into groups based on ability and things we were learning.
While Patti was a natural swimmer her techniques and knowing different strokes lacked a lot. They were swimming for a good seventy-five minutes and other girls had fun helping Patti to renew her sun protection. Staci enjoyed showing Patti the development of her girl tan.
The next was free time and two girls asked her to go canoe paddling with them, and Sharon agreed to let them. Alas, halfway out into the lake she was wanted by Director Laura, Officer Jamie, and a Conservation Officer. She was being requested to show them the way through the reserve.
She said “There were at least three ways into the preserve from Camp Rainbow, I suspect you use one or two for nature walks. There is another way close to the horse trail we used last year if we thought you might have set a trap. The key was how to get in and out of Camp ArrowHead undetected. She showed them where a 20’ ladder would be needed on this side. The conservation officer let us through a locked gate to Camp ArrowHead. Patti led them to the rock formation and then a place some rocks hid the burrowed tunnel, and how it opened on the other side.
Officer Jamie followed her through and she showed how a rope dropped down the rope ladder. She and Jamie climbed up and she showed Jamie the ladder to the other side. Jamie cut down the one ladder and threw it down into the preserve. They climbed down the ladder into the trees. Someone would be back to cut it down.
Before the others could join them, Jamie asked for her reserved route. Patti showed her an area on this side where a monkey-like Patti could climb. Jamie pried a little more and Patti shared that the lock on the gate had not been changed and it was too easy to pick. "It takes time and patience, but a person with both can do it."
Jamie thanked Patti as the others caught up with them. Patti said, “The famed Officer Jamie lives up to her reputation."
She asked me what her reputation was. Patti told her it would take an ice cream sundae and a ride in her state squad car.
She smiled, “There is a strong chance you will get those anyway.”
Patti joked with Jamie, "You're about thirty-some years old and fairly attractive, but one cannot tell by the way troopers have to dress in their hats.
The Director asks if there were any more. Patti said “No.” The Director asked the Trooper if she believed her. Officer Jamie asked Patti directly if she knows any other ways through.
Patti said, “Not that I know of now, but I suspect I could find or make one if needed.”
Jamie asked, “Do I have your word, that you will not run away from Camp Rainbow or seek sanctuary in Camp ArrowHead or the preserve?”
Patti said, “You know, if I give my word, it would be binding to me, don’t you?”
“Yes, Patti, it is my understanding that you see that your word as your bond! I believe that is binding to Willy as well.”
“Yes, and yes, you have my word on it. I wouldn’t give it except that it would mean I couldn’t go home.”
Officer Jamie hugged her before she caught her composure and then just gave a slight smile. Dir. Laura said, “Jamie, I see there is another person who knows it is good to be on the correct side with you. …Would you take your dinner break with me at the Camp?”
=^..^=
The evening went rather well as Patti was getting into the routine of being a Rainbow girl, entertainment night was karaoke singing, lip sinking, skits, and girl humor. Samantha was great at teaching her about taking care of her hair, swimming, throughout the day, bed and wake-up times.
Come morning as they were going to the shower, Patti panicked as it was a dance night. Samantha saw her panic and said, “I suspect Director Hall already has thought of other possibilities. So don’t pee in your panties.”
She was right, Patti soon had a message, she was to prepare for a weekend camp-out with horseback riding, canoeing, and trail walking. P.S. Check with the nurse before you go. This will begin after FOB.
The morning included craft (tie-dying a shirt/top), a life lesson, and canoeing. She was surprised by a package from Camp ArrowHead. It contained most of Willy's stuff, clothes, and a cell phone. It did contain notes of ridicule, vulgar statements, and warnings, some of Willy's stuff was defaced. It also included some socks, a pocket knife, a flashlight, etc… She, Patti, was cool about the harassment as he planned to return the favor twofold. That was Willy's idea of being even.
The lesson time was both interesting and embarrassing. Patti wondered aloud, "It wasn’t offered at Camp ArrowHead as many lessons were taught by extension services or the area hospital. She guessed she was foolish in asking as it revealed she knew what did or didn’t happen at the other camp.
Nurse Jane said, “Between their director and how crude some boys were, they felt it was not wanted there.”
Patti said, “That shouldn’t deprive guys who want to learn. I would guess it would take a few guys liking it one year to grow to a meaningful program the next year. There are questions I know a guy would like to ask but never has the opportunity.”
During the canoeing session, Patti got to see Lisa, one on one and apologized. Lisa asked if Patti got a good look as she jumped up toward us. It was then Patti realized that she either didn't notice or forgot. But Patti confessed that when she was trying to help her, she did notice how beautiful Lisa was.
Lisa saw it as making fun of her while she was vulnerable. She grabs Patti to drag and carry her into the water. She gave Patti a scary dunking and since Patti had her two-piece suit on, the bottom got pulled down once.
They were both in front of Sharon very quickly. Sharon warned Lisa out of Patti's hearing. "If I report this it would be one of two warnings she would get before being sent home. And I would also put a warning in your file."
Patti's testimony did not coincide with other witnesses who said she didn’t provoke anything. Patti said, “I knew it was a sensitive time for Lisa, and I joked at least once too much. She tried to shut me up by dunking me. I think coming from Susan’s brother was even more irritating.”
Patti was asked about Lisa pulling her bottom down and realized that offense could be seen as very severe in many ways. “My bottom panty could be a little bit tighter for a girl who has no hips. I thought it was my fault that they came down too easily. Once I tried to spin out of her grasp and the way I held my panty worked against me. I did not try to do anything bad.” Patti said, "I was closer than the witnesses and if they didn’t hear it all, I had to stand by my words."
Sharon brought Lisa back in, sharing what Patti said would exonerate her but put Willy at risk for non-compliance to the agreement. Lisa agreed with Head Lifeguard Sharon to give them both unofficial warnings and to get back to activities. She did assign Patti to Lisa’s canoe.
Lisa quietly whispered thanks to Patti, as Patti renewed her apology. Lisa said we would get a chance to talk later as she was going on the high school weekend camp-out.
Patti wore a pair of jeans and a halter top for horseback riding and took a pair of shorts, a top, and a sweatshirt, as well as my swimsuit, sandals, and hiking shoes for riding and walking. Patti was missing a few things that the other girls were delighted to hear about.
Nurse Jane gave and insisted Patti use a full-size feminine napkin if horseback riding was not to destroy his manhood. Patti was sure it gave a degree of protection, but not as much as a boy needed having tucked parts back underneath. Patti got to ride April a chestnut-colored beauty. The first hour was easy trail riding. After a break, some were going to gallop across a field but everyone was warned and told they didn’t need to. Patti and whoever needed to stay back with her would have been the only two not galloping.
Patti's ego was not up for that and given a little encouragement April showed how good she was. One horse stepped on a bee nest just in front of her and April without missing a step, April jumped over the nest, picked up her speed and delivered Patti to a pond higher up in the hills. Patti only had one bad sting. The other girl needed to go back for first aid.
When they settled down from riding that day, the other girls changed at will as they had Patti blindfolded. There was one more project to plant and water 100 seedlings. Ten of the 25 horses had a shovel packed on the back, and Patti's was one. She thought the idea was creative and, liking nature, she didn’t mind, but six of them planted most of the trees.
Patti's ego would like to say she planted the most, but two country girls did as much and probably more. But seemingly it wasn’t a competition to them and she enjoyed talking with them except when they tried to gross Patti out with too much girl stuff.
One asked if Patti knew the different holes for peeing and sex. Patti was thinking, then the girl was planning on showing Patti until she ran. Finally, she told her she would show Patti on her mare. Lisa said it was alright since it was a natural way for boys and girls to learn on a farm. It was more than Patti wanted to know.
She asked about stallions, so they checked one of the stallions and it got excited.
It was an hour before a meal and the campers decided a group of them needed to bathe before dinner. Patti used one pond while the girls used another. Back at the campsite, Patti was in a pair of panties and a towel drying herself as Lisa said she needed to check Patti for ticks and leeches where she couldn't check on her own.
Patti was taken to a tent and needed to strip back down. Lisa found some ticks but a leech was in between her legs that proved embarrassing and a problem. Finally, with an added dose of salt, it let go and Lisa pressed the spot with a pad and then put ointment on it. From a safe distance, Lisa showed Patti a feminine pad with her blood on it.
It was a memento of camp; one that Patti did not get to possess. Lisa would keep it to share with Susan and whomever she wanted. That included Patti's Mom and a select number of campers.
The next morning the group was up at sunrise and rode down to the lake where some ten canoes were ready for another all-day adventure. The Camp was at the south end of a 5-mile-long lake and they paddled another mile up one of its contributing rivers at the north end.
Patti had stripped down to her swimsuit while they were on the lake. Now as they paddled under bridges and close to walkways and shops she was very sensitive to all the eyes looking their way. It was both the policy and the spirit of the camp that Rainbow campers warmly greeted others. Though Patti was sure most of the attention went to the pretty girls, She was not comfortable being on display. They pulled over to one park to have lunch and visited with various kids, mostly Campfire Girls and Brownies or Girl Scouts.
It was sweet to have girls wanting to be your friend so fast, but Patti was not ready for all the girl questions she was asked. "Did I have a boyfriend… if not, why not… was I a lesbian… which boy idols I wanted to kiss or go to bed with… Lisa and others had fun documenting pictures of Patti with others and her conversations on their phones.
They were nearly a mile up the river when they started back. Canoeing time went by quickly, what was now slow was stopping at shops looking for bargains and other things they liked. Most of it was window shopping but not all.
Lisa first suggested and then insisted Patti get her ears pierced. Patti realized that it was like she was receiving a makeover. She was changing over to Patti. She wouldn’t acknowledge it but she liked how cute she looked with the earrings.
Sharon, Director Laura, and Officer Jamie all had been encouraging the better part of her to relax and get into being Patti. Patti enjoyed being accepted, despite correcting mistakes, making things better, and living outside the box.
They were canoeing back on the lake and Lisa said they be staying at the State Park tonight. They made it to the park by 5:30, they had a campsite reserved.
Patti went behind the restroom to get some fresh water for cooking but heard a girl crying inside, but there was no one in there. She checked the boy's restroom, and heard a girl cry. When Patti told her she was there to help her. The girl said, "It was too late and you should leave before you're in trouble too." Patti opened the door and there was a scared girl no older than herself. She heard Lisa come over to check on her and called her in to help.
We took Polly to our campsite. She said she had run away from her foster parents who were abusing her, but the courts had kept sending her back, without even sending her to another foster home.
Polly showed she was bleeding under her panties and even as Patti knew she was seeking to share how traumatic was her abuse. But she also insisted we needed to get away from her. She had missed a ride or an attempt to confuse those hunting her. She insisted the others were ging to be in trouble and no justice for her, just hurt for those who helped her.
It was just mmoments later a State Representative came looking for her. Saying he was helping her parents who were worried for her. We said we had neither seen her nor knew where she was. He was surprised that we had not heard the news that she was a wanted runaway in danger of hurting herself and others.
Janice mistakenly said, “I thought she was from a foster home.”
The State Congressman got furious and said we were obstructing justice and did not know whom we were up against. That echoed what Polly had said, "That it was more trouble than we could handle." The Congressman went back to his car saying he would be back with authorities who would run over us to get the girl back where she belonged.
We had a quick discussion after he left, Everyone except four of us would stay. Patti would dress like Polly as they would take two canoes back to camp. Hopefully, the size of our camp would appear the same with no Polly to be found. If they caught up to the canoes Patti would jump from the canoe and swim in a different direction. Lisa had called back to the Camp giving the group’s location at the State Park encouraging Sharon to stay at Camp and not be one of our helpers.
Sharon used the camp motorboat to see if any were returning across the lake and discovered us halfway to the camp. Chloe one of the canoers had also been abused and she told Sharon, “Sharon, Polly needs to be secluded until we know she will be in safe hands, not just those stating they had authority. Patti suggested their campsite from last night since no one was to be there.”
It was suggested Jamie be contacted and unofficially talked to. Officer Jamie knew of the manhunt but did not like the officials conducting it. “People like these people are almost impossible to stop.”
Sharon looks at Polly and me and says, “If there might be a way, I think we need to find it.” Sharon covered the phone and suggested Patti get some extra clothing and sleep gear for the two and get Polly and Chloe to the stable.
Director Laura got to the campers at the State Park just before the authorities showed up. None of the law enforcement officers were local. Two state officials, four county Sheriff Deputies out of their area, and two State Troopers were also out of their districts.
Laura allowed them to conduct their search but insisted on an orderly manner and no harassment of her girls. She had quietly counted her campers and staff, knowing how many were there and how many and who was missing. When questioned she accounted for the number and the exhausting schedule they were on.
If they say Congressman Peterson became infuriated with them and threatened them Patti and others believed it. "We will need to ask local law enforcement to do an investigation to protect our camp and the rights and safety of these young women. Whatever has caused them to be so frightened of officials and authorities goes against the grain of what we believe and teach them. These are fine women and I think they are owed more than an apology.”
Congressman James Peterson said no one was offering an apology. One deputy, who seemed to receive more attention than his position would suggest stating an apology and just compensation would be considered if the situation warranted. A State Trooper escorted the Congressman to his car and insisted he leave there. Nothing was found there, but the other authorities wanted to check the Camp.
“That is quite possible,” replied Dir. Laura, “But we need to get the camp bus and transportation for the canoes back to the camp first. I would also request local law officials of our County and State to be part of the search. I suspect it will be morning before that can be accommodated.”
She said, “Tomorrow we will have an ongoing program and new campers coming in the afternoon. You better be able to work around that, As far as I know, this problem has nothing to do with our camp and I will not allow its reputation to be hurt as we work with you.”
One official says, “Hopefully this runaway problem will be put to rest before morning and we won’t have anything to do at the camp. It’s too bad a girl of such a tarnished reputation should be of any concern to you. She is like a pesky varmint that needs to be exterminated. She hurts the reputation of fine people like yourselves.”
One Trooper received a call that nothing was seen crossing the lake and things appeared normal for a camp from what they could see. Director Laura felt shivers hearing her camp was being watched. She visibly remained calm as the camp bus and canoe trailer showed up.
It would be a long night at the Camp but most activities were unofficial. The presence of an extra guest was communicated and her safety was relatively secure. Officer Jamie came in her vehicle and a strategy was set in motion in case someone was usurping their authority to the endangerment of one or more young people.
Patti, Polly, Chloe, and two others made it up to the campsite in time to gather wood and see a beautiful sunset. Despite any discomfort, Polly was experiencing she did enjoy the view in the relative safety of new friends. It was suggested she let Lisa and someone help clean her up. “We just had a life lesson session and it’s a bad area for infections.”
Polly volunteered me to be her trusted partner, “You talk a good talk, so you can be the one to help clean me up.”
We got a clean blanket and towel for Polly to lie on, as she scooted down her panties. Lisa handed Patti a wet soapy cloth and she started to clean off the blood and to see if there was any current bleeding. Polly was black and blue in areas, and Patti didn’t know any difference between bleeding from a period or injuries, so she asked Polly what had happened.
“They have people come over and play with me and I am just supposed to go along with whatever they say. They don’t care if it hurts me or if I'm uncomfortable doing things. It is about their enjoyment. Ma Melanie tells me I need to learn to enjoy it. She tells me I am a slut and will always be one. She said may be someday you can have two or three girls working for you. Even sluts can work their way up if they learn to cooperate.”
“When I asked Ma if that was what she did, everything started to go wrong for me. I could have died twice and Ma said I was a fool to fight and that I should concentrate on how to stay alive.”
I tell the others, “I have Polly cleaned up, some ointment where it appeared bright red or still healing.” Lisa had put a napkin in her clean panty and when Polly got dressed she looked relatively nice. We ate, talked under the stars, checked our horses, and went to sleep. It was a little cool so Polly and Patti cuddled back to back, others did the same. They both turned during the night and were hugging each other when they woke.
Lisa looked at Patti suspiciously but she shrugged her shoulders to indicate she didn’t do anything. Lisa smiled and patted me on the back for being so good. It was after breakfast that Sharon and Officer Jamie came riding up to the campsite.
They had Polly hide until Sharon said Jamie came as a friend.
Jamie said she was taking a week of vacation to act as a foster parent and then in another week Heather her foster daughter would come to camp for July, or until charges came to bear on a ring of abusers. The State Attorney General wanted to bring these people down, but he needed enough people not under their influence to substantiate the charges and get them to a good court.
Trooper Jamie said, "Our County Attorney is one of the cogs falling in place quite nicely. He has just been elected to his fourth term and has no intention of stepping down or seeking a higher office. The Sheriff’s office was called in because they were not easily bought. If we can transform Polly’s appearance we will have her at Camp hiding out in the open when we go to work."
Before we went to sleep for the second night. Jamie and Sharon took Patti to talk, “We just want to thank you and say we are pleasantly amazed by the neat Sister you are turning out to be.” They could tell by the stunned look on my face that I did not understand.
This time it was Jamie, “By Sister, we are talking about you as a woman and how you are there for others. We were surprised and talked about it on our ride up here. It has been surprising enough how your appearance has changed, but your mannerisms and especially your heart and caring wisdom say you are one of the ‘Sisters’.”
May be continued... If readers indicate it should be....
Comments encouraged...
Part Two
Before we went to sleep for the night, Jamie and Sharon took me aside to talk. “We want to thank you and say we are pleasantly amazed by the neat Sister you are turning out to be.” They could tell that I did not understand... Jamie said, “By Sister, we are talking about you as a woman in the best sense and how you are there for others. ...your appearance has changed, along with your mannerisms and your heart and caring wisdom say you are one of the ‘Sisters’.”
Jamie was watching for a sign that the Camp was safe to return to, but Polly’s pursuers had a contingent of lawmen checking the Camp; pretty sure Polly was there. The longer they were asking questions it could prove problematic.
Jamie asked, “It would be a nice time for ‘Willy Can Do It’ to come up with an idea.
I said “Well Patti’s idea is for them to run up on the pole the trunks that Sharon caught the other day. And let Camp get back to fun as usual." Lisa called someone with the idea calling through the camp land phone. Soon Camp Rainbow was getting calls from Camp ArrowHead complaining their flag was inappropriate. Director Laura invited them over to discuss the problem.
Soon Congressman Paterson’s people were leaving, Laura suspected they did not want anyone more people to witness their presence. The County Sheriff and Deputies met them at the Camp entrance and questioned various law officials about their presence outside of their jurisdiction. Two Deputies were taken into custody, as their identity did not match records from the corresponding counties. While Congressman Paterson could not be held or questioned. Their group had not been ready for the people with him to be questioned.
Officer Jamie and Sharon led our group back to Camp via the long trail.
Willy got to ride up with Jamie, while Sharon tagged along back with Lisa and Polly. “Officer Jamie, do you think things will work out for Polly? She's really afraid of the system, the authorities, and institutions and I don’t blame her. I’m scared for her.
Jamie smiled and said, “Why do you think, I am going to be her Foster Parent?”
Enthusiastically Patti asked, “Do you mean that she will stay with you? She and I were afraid that was just temporary.”
“It is only temporary if she doesn’t like it or we can be sure that we have something better. I’m afraid she might be afraid of me because I am a State Trooper. I came from an abusive home and was sent to bad places too many times.”
Patti said, “But won’t it make it awkward to attract a guy having a teenage girl?”
She says, “Most guys seem to be distracted enough by the badge and gun. While there are some others who seem to be attracted to the gun.”
Patti proudly said, “I told Polly that you were not the normal trooper and that I for one trusted you. Polly said, but I was never in trouble and I told her you might tell her better someday. She asked what I meant, I will tell you someday, but you might not like me after that." Something Jamie said now hits me, "You were kidding about the gun and handcuffs aren’t you?”
We were just entering the main area of Camp and three officials of Camp Arrowhead were with Director Laura. I quickly became very nervous as Willy knew all three quite well. Officer Jamie got off and introduced herself to them and asked Patti to take her horse to the stable. Lisa, Polly and I took the horses to the horse barn.
We made the mistake of going back to our campsite and Polly asked me why I had to stay in the smaller tent with Samantha as a special counselor. Seemingly one of the other girls had said I had done something that caused another girl to get hurt. Officer Jamie and the Camp Director are punishing her as befit the crime.
“So what did you do,” asked Polly, “And how does the punishment fit your crime?”
Staci stuck her head out of the Conestoga wagon, “He’s a prankster from the boys camp next door, but now she’s one of us!” she said laughing.
It would be a short while before Polly remembered how Patti helped clean her.
For now, she laughed, “No wonder you had the balls to stand up to those guys yesterday.” She swung Patti around as to take a better look at her.
Patti went into her tent feeling a bit sad and shy. She changed into a swimsuit for canoeing and put on some shorts and one of Samantha’s tops. Counselor Samantha was about three inches taller than her and her top covered a little bit more.
Samantha heard I was back and came to relieve Lisa from watching me. Lisa took Polly over to Nurse Jane to be checked out.
Polly insisted she was not going to any hospital until she was sure she was safe. “They would have to report my injuries and then, 'They' would know where I am.”
An hour later Patti was out canoeing on the lake when she was being called ashore. “You need to see Dir. Hills as she said you have a package from France.”
The Director welcomed Patti with a big smile, “Your mother sent a special gift for you and I think you will need Nurse Jane’s help in getting it on properly.” Patti asked what it was but Director Hills taped the box shut and told Patti to deliver it to the Nurse unopened.
She did as she was told though Patti was sure she wouldn’t like it since the Director wouldn’t tell her what it was. She knocked on the door to the Nurse’s Office. Nurse Jane welcomed her in asking her to be quiet as Polly was resting in the next room. She took the package and asked me to sit upon the edge of the examining table.
There were actually several boxes in the larger package, but none of them were fancy like one might suspect from France. Miss Jane first gave Patti a glass of water and a tablet to swallow. She said, "You will be taking one a week while at camp."
She told Patti to undress and to lay on her back on the examining table. She slid out an extension so Patti's legs were resting on the table as well. “I will need to shave you a little more before I proceed.” I didn’t have a lot of hair there, and Jane ended up being the one to shave between my legs, which was very embarrassing. I wasn’t giving anyone any satisfaction of crying or throwing a fit.
But the embarrassment was just beginning as she drew circles on her chest and attached small breastforms. Jane had the nerve to ask her to hold them in place for a few minutes. Then she brushed the adhesive between Patti's legs to hold a natural looking vagina gaff from France.
Jane told Patti to be still or she would call a couple of others to help her. Saying, it would prove more awkward for Patti than her. She slipped his penis into a special spot and then pushed this plastic form and pressed it to her body adjusting it until Jane was pleased.
“Now you will look as pretty and normal as the other Rainbow Campers.”
“If this isn’t poetic justice,” said another voice in the room. It was Polly, Patti expected to see her laughing. Instead, she said, “I'm very mad at you remembering last night. I am still hurt and angry. Why didn’t you tell me or get someone else to do it?”
Patti was in shock, seeing Polly there. “I didn’t mean it to hurt you, you were already hurt and a mess and you asked me to clean you up. Lisa offered to do it and I want her to, but you said ‘No you trusted me’ and I thought it would scare you, to tell the truth. I like being your friend, though I know now you will hate me.” Patti started crying big time and Nurse Jane had to give her a sedative.
Patti was surprised to wake up partly dressed. She had fallen asleep and Nurse Jane had a blanket over her. But the pillow was different. Patti looked up and realized her head was in Polly’s lap. Polly looked down at Patti with a warm smile.
Before they left the Nurse’s Station, Jane gave Patti a small package of lace panties and a cute matching bra. She said, "It too is from your Mom for when you go to the big social later in the summer." When Patti lifted them up Polly giggled. Patti could not believe such delicate things could be hers.
Polly told her, “Officer Jamie is coming to take us in her squad car to get a sundae, you had asked for. I guess your life was a bit messed up like mine.”
It was a half-hour later that Jamie showed up in her squad car. Polly and Patti were both excited to see her. She said she was treating both of them to dinner and an ice cream sundae so they had to watch what they ate.
Patti found herself ordering a spinach salad, it came with strawberry slices, slices of chicken, pecan pieces and a tangy dressing. The past week she has started into eating more salads. Jamie asked her if she was on a diet.
Patti asked if she should be, but Jamie and Polly just laughed.
Polly and Patti were bombarding Jamie with questions and she seemed to enjoy having the two campers with her.
Polly was surprised that Jamie had come from an abusive life growing up. Polly, was worried that she was 'crap' and couldn’t expect to be much. “When you hand me over to an institution, I suspect I will just return to being myself.”
Jamie asked, “Why would you want to go to an institution instead of staying with me?” Patti had told Polly that Jamie, was hoping that her being a foster parent was to be lasting, but Polly didn’t trust good news. It was nice to see joy come over Polly and for her to have tears of happiness. Patti used a moment in the restroom to redo her make-up and let Polly and Jamie have their own time together.
While the three were enjoying their sundaes, Patti finally asked about the other Troopers who had followed them from camp and stayed out in their car. Jamie said, “Yes, there will often be another unmarked car as we have concerns for Polly’s safety and a lesser concern for you and Lisa. …We believe we have covered our tracks quite well and that they are chasing a ghost into Pennsylvania. But they are powerful people so we will go the extra steps to keep you safe and to nab them if they come here.”
Jamie continued, “…Things like this are very ugly and with Polly’s help many girls and a few boys will be saved from living nightmares.”
When we were finished eating, Jamie arranged for Polly to get to the salon and then she would help her shop for some new clothes. Polly asked if I could go with her as she was still scared to be with adults alone. I noticed a look on Jamie’s face and suggested that she could ask Susan to go if that would be better.
We don’t mind if you two are friends, but others might suspect who is Polly if you are always together. Because Susan was a dirty blonde with blue eyes we did not automatically look like sisters. Susan was also a bit more mature and capable of handling herself. She actually had a brown belt in Tae Kwon Do; I only had a green belt and was not confident in using it.
When I got back to my campsite Samantha was interested in seeing the new me. Luckily I got away without modeling my panties and bra over my new girl parts. She had me wear a pair of short shorts and a small top to the campfire. It was a warm night so I didn’t mind.
A camper named Brandi was getting snide and upset with the attention I was getting. She and two friends started to make preparation to go to bed and getting an early shower for me became more difficult.
Sam realized what they were doing but it was something I needed to put up with.
Sam would remind me I was intruding into their territory, but a few times I said, “I'm a girl with as many rights as they had.” Sam. Susan and Sharon took turns in reminding me, I was Willy being punished by living as a girl at the Camp.
Thursday was one of those “Life Lesson” days a normal boy doesn’t have, we went to town to buy for ourselves a new bra. I had been to the nurse and the director to get out of going. But it was an uncomfortable experience they wanted me to remember.
I couldn’t be in the shop when they were having their experience but they were allowed to be there for mine. First I got frustrated when I was back in the changing room as I was taking off my top. I was experiencing trouble in pulling my top over my head and this time was no different.
Cami who was a better endowed young woman; smiled and said, “Patti haven’t you been watching us girls?” She crossed her arms and grabbed the bottom of her top and pulled up. I wasn’t sure what I was to be watching, but I was distracted by another thought.
Cami enjoyed being at a girl's camp and not having to worry about wearing a bra. Cami smiled as she checked her breasts before she pulled the top back down. My face was red, and Cami remarked about my smile. She came up to me and whispered, “A girl crosses her arms she lifts up and pulls it a little away from her body.”
She crossed my arms and placed them to the bottom of my top and I tried again. It went easy and I said thanks as Cami gave me a pat on the butt. “You’re welcome, keep your eyes and ears open as you become one of us.”
Cami stayed as they took measurements. Cami suggested they measure my waist, hips, and inseam as well as my top. They said my waist was 25” but I knew it was over 26” in April when I had to order a pair of dress pants and a sports coat. I argued but Cami giggled and said I think that inch and half dropped down to your hips.
I held my breath as they measured my inseam, hoping my gaff hid me properly. They measured my top and it was just under 30” and a nice “A” cup bra. Cami had one in hand with a lacy yellow edge on top of the cups. I tried it as well as the style I had picked. I did like Cami’s pick better, but I asked if it was too fancy for camp.
“You wear that one to the dance and they won’t see ‘Willy’.” I was appreciating friends like Cami more as I was experiencing more girls like Brandi.
I asked Cami on the way back to Camp, “Why are some girls friendly like you, and some are disliking me, even being mean?”
“Some dislike what you did as a boy; others may not be happy with how good you look. You know in a way you are competing not only against boys but other friends at camp. I’ve liked you more since you befriended Polly. Polly’s become one of my friends. She said you risked yourself for her... She was certainly surprised when she found out you were a boy. She said she forgave you and you’ve become friends. She won’t tell me what she forgave you for, only that it wasn’t a big deal.”
During FOB I found my sleeping bag and underwear with whipped cream in them. I was getting very angry, when Staci sent word via Cami, to tell me it was about acceptance and not from those who don’t like you.
Cami went out canoeing with me and swamped our canoe, saying I needed to cool things down. “Don’t be so tense about everything. We overturned the canoe to get the water out and Cami told me, “Patti, meet me inside.” That meant to see her underneath the canoe while it was still turned over.
Cami was underneath first and I came up right next to her, she smiled and planted a kiss on me. I broke my girl mode and Cami said “Cool it, boy. This is about people loving you, not necessarily a girl/boy thing. It was Patti I invited under here, but don’t make too much of that either!” I didn’t know what to think other than I did need to cool down with the quick feelings overcoming me.
We still had canoeing, but I decided to go out with two girls that I did not know before and have a good time. We swamped our canoe and were underneath but this time we sang a Brittany Spears song. I really didn’t know the words or tune but found myself catching on. I liked the way she sang “Baby, baby” and as we approached the shallow water, I was able to sing the refrain.
Friday morning came and It was to be an enjoyable day. The theme lesson for the week was what we have a passion for. It was something as some were traditions such as dance, fashion and design, and nursing. Several of the campers were interested in being doctors, computer techs and programmers, though most did not appear to be geeks.
Cami and another camper were interested in diplomatic services or international relations. Both already had two or three years of a second language and Cami was to begin Swahili as she begins high school in the fall.
God, I like her for her good looks, but could my male ego handle a girl with so much ability. Dah, I probably didn’t need to worry about being on her radar. Hmm, maybe Patti would have a better chance. …WHAT AM I THINKING?
The Life Lesson was on self-image, and though the Camp program dealt with it as issues in girl’s lives, much of what it taught and talked about could be put into context for guys too. I stayed pretty much out of today’s discussion. It was surprising how smart and good looking girls had image problems as well as others such as Plain Janes, good girls or bad girls, too heavy, too thin, to too average.
I had a friend who was really good at basketball and most sports, but he said two bad games and he was an “untouchable”. So many people gave him advice, he had trouble being himself. Seemingly girls felt the pressure more so with magazines, and chat groups deciding who and what was in.
A girl named Cali had nice clothes, but others thought she and her family were poor. The reason was that she and her family didn’t wear name brands of clothes, so those they were a year behind in fashion. They told me Susan’s ratings went up when people heard our Mom was in France.
They did some neat activities during camp in general and the Life Lessons, in particular, to help us to get to know each other as a person outside of labels and groupings.
I know in my short time at camp I wasn’t so much a freak, loser, or a prick of a guy as most originally thought. I knew I was considered a Sissy/Mommy’s boy when I accepted my punishment to dress as a girl. Several now actually decided it took courage.
“So what are you wearing to the dance tonight Patti,” asked Brandi? She was forcing herself to sound sincere. “At least you won’t have to worry about the boys from Arrowhead.”
“I think I will sit out the camp dances as guys aren’t my type.”
Sharon burst my bubble, “Sitting out is not an option for a Rainbow Camper. You haven’t worn your golfing skirt yet; I think you should try that.”
I said, “You got to be kidding if you think I am dancing with another boy!”
Sharon said, “If I were you, I would try very hard to be a Rainbow Camper. If you show up as Rainbow Boy, you will cause yourself a lot of grief and get the wrath of unwanted consequences.”
I was actually happy that Sharon dressed me down in public. I wanted to go to the dance but was afraid of what others would think if it appeared I wanted to be there.
The skirt I was thinking about was not as short as the golf skirt.
The first community dance usually attracted a lot of guys as they wanted to evaluate and get first shot at the good looking girls. Cami and Polly delivered a note saying I had to dance with at least five boys before I stopped or repeated whom I danced with.
Polly came over and polished my nails and helped me redo my makeup. I also had to critique three outfits she was choosing from. Between the salon visit, the clothes, and being happy, she was not recognizable. She was now going by Julie which I needed to remember.
I didn’t dance the first dance, but the second dance was slow so some shy kid asked me for a dance. He was surprised when I said yes. Austin was the second guy I danced with and Matt was the fourth. These times it was me who was surprised about being asked. I figured they were hot guys. Both were disappointed that I needed to dance with others.
After my fifth dance, I took a break and Austin was making a fuss over me. We walked over to the canoe dock and made small talk, he got a drink for me and we shared the next two dances. It would have been three but Cami and Matt cut in and made us exchange partners.
I am not sure but I think Cami put Matt up to giving me a kiss on the cheek. When I looked up he kissed me on the lips, and I kissed him back. I wished it was Austin as he had nicer breath. And I was right his kiss was sweeter.
I danced a fast dance with Julie as I knew she was uncomfortable and ready to cry.
Brandi made a snide remark of us making a nice couple. Before I hit her Staci and Cami made it a group dance.
It would be three weeks until the next community dance and neither Matt nor Austin wanted to wait. They pushed to come back the next week and wanted to stay as long as they could for a day. Staci said, "We have one boy here and you don’t have what it takes."
Both insisted they would do what was needed if one was able to do it so could they. Sharon took the boys aside and told them, the boy Rainbow Camper isn’t one of the guys you recognize.
Well, neither Austin nor Matt was going to be the first to back out. So Director Laura quickly met them and told them what they needed to do. They would need to be at Camp Rainbow the following Friday and take part in all the activities and appear as a girl, though they did not need to be convincing as the male camper already there.
Matt didn’t tell Austin, but he had no intention of coming back next week. Austin didn’t plan to come but he would not be the first to back out. He would need to dress and take part like all the girls; he was not required to shave his legs. He didn’t plan to until Thursday when his Mom helped him see what he would look like.
He did not realize it meant a dance with Camp Arrowhead guys and experiencing a sleepover as a girl.
I thought it was cute but crazy; especially when I learned Matt was not coming. Matt and Austin lived in different towns in different directions, so Austin would not know until he was at camp.
Sunday, Mom called from France to see how Susan and I were doing. She was a bit surprised I was cooperating and that I was a bit of a “heroine”. I thanked her for the package she sent.
“You really appreciated what I sent?”
“It was not like I appreciated all of it, but I thought you went out of your way to help me, in your thinking it made sense.”
Mom asked, “What was it that you liked or appreciated?”
She was catching me with my own words, realizing I had, in fact, liked something. I ended up liking it all, but I told her “It was the bra with the yellow lacing that I thought was cute.”
She asked, “How poorly did it fit your figure and new breast forms?”
I told her, “The combination turned the heads of a few guys at our dance.”
She asked, “So who in particular liked how you looked, and did he try to kiss you?”
“Mom! You are not to ask something like that. You wouldn’t do it to Susan; she would tell you it wasn’t any of your business.”
She cheerfully asked, “So someone did kiss you, what did you think? Did you kiss him back?” I didn’t answer her anymore but Sharon told her what happened. Susan said she didn’t see it but was told by enough campers to believe it.
I told her I liked horseback riding and we needed to get some horses to keep at Grandma’s. 'Besides being a little expensive, what do you think she would think about Patti coming over to ride now and then?" She reminded me that Willy would be too busy to ride a horse that much.
I told her, "Patti would be as busy, but a girl is usually a better planner." We would have gotten into a discussion on how my opinion of women was changing, but it would need to wait until she was home.
Susan was brushing my hair as she waited to talk to Mom and I returned the favor by doing her nails. Susan was joking with me in a new way and I later asked her what was up?
“I am not sure Squirt, I just find it easier to relate to Patti. I thought you here at Rainbow would be embarrassing. I like what I see."
When Susan was talking, she asked Mom if she could pierce my ears.
“You didn’t ask me? And I say No!”
“I am asking Mom, please don’t interrupt me. Mom, I think it should just be part of Patti’s experience at Camp. Plus all Willy needs to do if he doesn’t like it would be easy enough to let the holes close up. I am not trying to be mean Mom, you should see how Patti is so girl.”
Mom says, “I thought piercing ears is against camp rules?”
Susan asks Patti, “Tell me in one minute the pranks you have pulled on girls, go?”
“Pulling hair, putting ice down their back, down their front, looking up a skirt, bumping them when they’re putting on lipstick, messing their hair, teasing, interrupting, knocking books out of their hands…”
Susan giggled, “Thanks, the girls wanted a list of possible paybacks.”
“Susan, I won’t tell you to break the rules, but I will want a picture of her at the next dance.”
Mom told us what she was doing both in work and on her free time. We were looking forward to her being back. She hoped she would be back in time to visit us at Camp as she had been planning. “I can’t wait for you Mom; the girls here think you are special because you're in France. The guys always gave me a hard time and didn’t understand.”
She said, “Well, I am glad you will be happy to see me. I hope to go canoeing or horseback riding with two daughters.”
I threatened Susan about teasing and prank’s she and other girls were planning. “Well, I am going to make lists and turn them in about who does what to me.”
“If you do that you better start with the guys who helped in your prank, or you would be going against your word of not tattling.” I was getting fed up and had snapped at people a few times.
Mom shared on the phone that I would be getting two hormone shots, hoping it would mellow my mood and enhance my girl experience.
I told her I didn’t want to be any more girly. She shared that while I was doing well overall, the times I snapped badly enough they almost called an end to my time at camp. Mom said one medication was used as a medication with boys for such purposes.
Those at camp who were having trouble with me were the extended-stay campers like us. Two groups were going for overnight campouts under the star, tonight and tomorrow night. There was a challenge concerning enjoyable meals with minimal weight. Susan chose a site with a heavy Dutch oven already there. The Ice we used to keep things cold often got wasted, but we made spaghetti and two sauces using tomato pastes and spices. Fruits and items needed for smores were snuck up earlier for our desserts.
We had reached the site, settled in and had begun dinner when I was pounced upon by no less than six girls. I guess my ears were to be pierced. Ice was held to my lobes but I complained when they were going to use one silver stud and one silver circle. They told me they had another pair like it for my right ear.
I was the one cooking the fail-proof spaghetti and the traditional sauce but a bit spicier with some Italian sausage. Just before we ate Officer Jamie rode up. She needed to keep an eye on Julie/Poly.
There were two more arrests made in the case today, so Jamie was feeling a bit protective. It was nice to see a State Trooper let down her hair and have a good time. It was a bigger deal for us just finishing 7 and 8th grade to hear stories and see the bodies of girls older than us.
Before we went to sleep Julie, Staci, Cami and I talked about how we wanted to be liked and how we wanted to be like our bigger sisters and mothers. One of the most moving times was to listen to Julie talk about Jamie and shared for the first time she was not afraid to have a baby who might be like her.
When it was my turn, I shared I couldn’t and with that Cami pounced upon me, bounce quite hard on me taking away my breath. “Now I am going to put you under my trance, and if you don’t I will pounce and bounce the smithereens out of your former boyhood. You are now going under my trance and until breakfast is finished you are Patti and always will be a girl. You will share about your sister and mother and the girl you want to grow up and become.”
They started by asking questions like how my sister could help me? “I would like my sister to teach me the way she does make-up. I wish she caught me in her room and decided to give me a makeover. Boys tend to use too much and look like clowns, my sister has already been teaching me, but after Camp, she will help me for school.”
Staci asked about my mom. “My Mom is a single parent and she has taught her daughters raising us that it is important for a girl to get people to respect her and for her to take pride in herself. I would like her to be proud of the woman she'll help me to be. I would like to learn how she cooks, I hope to be able to wear some of her jewelry. I don’t know if she knows how but I would like to learn to put my hair in a French braid.”
Cami again pounced on me but softly and suggested we pray, Dear God, what we have shared, and the pride we have in Moms, sisters and Jamie that we spoke, needs to be remembered and where possible lived to be made true. In Jesus’ name, we pray. Amen.
Cami, “I heard that ‘Amen’ means 'so be it'. So if that is indeed our prayer let us loudly say “Amen’.” And we all loudly said “Amen!”
Come morning, it was suspected that Rachel had her period because several of the older girls went off to console and celebrate with her. Somehow, several girls thought it would be a good time for Patti to use a feminine napkin and a tampon. Several of the older girls knew I had used them for horseback riding, but no one shared that information.
Consistently I was riding a horse named April, somehow the second night I thought of using her horse blanket to sleep soundly. But in the morning the idea literally stunk. My sister led me down a path to a spring fed pond. The good news was the water was very good for coming clean, the bad news was it was cold mountain spring water.
The high school girls were crazy as they stripped down to their bras and panties or shorts and jumped in. I got to check backs and help shampoo hair as we looked for tick or leaches. Girls would give me a big hug knowing their breasts were a bit warm. It was purely to embarrass me and it went no further.
But I was down to my breast forms and vagina gaff as I dried off and they too were down to their birthday suits. I knew my thinking was getting screwed up when my biggest thought was if my body look as good as Susan’s.
Last night’s girl talk/prayer came to my head. I got back to camp and before I could fully dry my hair, Jamie came over and styled it into a French braid at Julie’s request. We were back horseback riding and this time going off the Camp property and into Oak Ridge State Park that surrounded the Southern end of the lake.
Susan and two other high school girls road back to the Camp Rainbow to get the food and canoes to meet us at the State Park Campgrounds. Susan called back to Officer Jamie to tell her of two men they passed hiking up the trail. Jamie told Susan to get to camp and to confirm to the Sheriff’s office about where we were heading and about the two men hiking on the trail.
Lisa had ridden down the long trail to the lake far enough to see more hikers coming up that trail. We had a four-mile ride back up the trail ride to Rock Mount Look-Out. With luck, we would be met by 2-6 Troopers using horses and dirt-bikes to meet us. The two horse riders would meet us as we crossed a road. The dirt-bikers would meet us at the Rock Mount. A team of Federal Marshals would converge on the campground, expecting key players to be there to confirm Polly’s capture or tragic death.
The Troopers did not want us involved in any shoot-out but needed us to keep riding to keep up the allusion that it was still a normal outing for us. We progressed slowly on the trail so the hikers would keep up with us, yet not get too close. Once we reached Rock Mount we were directed to a hidden area for safety and the trap for the bad people was set.
Patti had an attack of the Willy’s and could not stay out of trouble. As Willy the past two summers we had trouble with town kids and we set up booby-traps to change the odds to our favor. Lisa went with me, and after the armed hikers passed over the gulch bridge, we set up a trap to trip anyone trying to get away quickly. It was a small task of tying some trip ropes and putting a good group of round rocks as obstacles onto the bridge.
There were five bad guys who passed us and a minimum of three coming from the direction of the campground trail. Within two minutes orders to surrender were met with gun-shots. Not too many were from the well-armed bad guys. One guy ran toward Jamie and the Campers and surrendered to Jamie. Two fell wounded and three more surrendered immediately.
Two retreated down our trail to the gulch bridge where one tripped over the rope onto some rocks and the other turned his ankle on the round rocks and fell off the bridge. The fall was far enough to break a leg, yet it was soft enough into water and mud that he didn’t kill himself. Two Troopers were down the trail quick enough to make arrests.
The Marshalls in unison with the actions on Rock Mount, made a sweep of the Campgrounds arresting one district judge who was there with a couple of social workers and Rep. Paterson. Paterson sang like a canary. Officer Jamie said the key dirty politician a Jeff Kinney got away.
I spoke up and suggested they should ask the Mafia to keep him from leaving the country and to help have him be arrested. Two days later Kinny was found beaten and tied up in the back of an abandoned car.
I had heard once from an uncle that some in the Mafia were still principled enough not to involve children in prostitution or sexual abuse. Seemingly he was right.
Some community people complained that they did not like this type of police work in their community. We liked Sheriff John Walters’ statement, “You should be proud to have Law Officers who cooperated with each other to match forces against such criminals seeking to invade your community. Today State Troopers, U.S. Marshals and local law officials worked together for the sake of abused and exploited children now and possibly your children in the future.”
My actions came to the notice of the State Troopers and then the U.S. Marshals, as well as my identity as a boy at the girls’ camp. U.S. Marshal Douglas Kelly came up to thank me, “We Lass, I sadly admit transgendered people often don't receive the best treatment from the law community, today we and your friend Julie are greatly indebted to you.” He gave me his card, told me to stay out of trouble, but to call him if trouble comes my way.
I had been good at that point, but then I broke down and cried in Marshall Kelly’s arms. We did sleep out at the State Park, but apart from seeing some of the fireworks, I was one of several girls who fell asleep in our tents.
Staci, Julie, Cami, and I were a mess of legs and arms entangled as we woke. Julie woke me and with a kiss on the cheek, thanked me for being there with her. Unfortunately, I was just waking up and did not understand her intention. I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big passionate kiss. Cami decided to kiss my earlobe and things progressed from there.
Lisa threw a pitcher of cold water on us and we soon calmed down. What we had done did not leave the tent under Lisa’s orders, nor was it to continue back at camp.
A dozen of us paddled to the other end of the lake and up the main river that fed the lake. Many people, unlike us, had seen the news and treated us like heroine superstars. We stopped at the town with the best boutiques and were treated like royalty. We split up into three groups to shop and none of us paid for lunch. Two shops matched our purchases with gifts of matching value. I said I didn’t need more than one more pair of sandals so I let Julie choose the second pair. I got a pinky ring and was given a bracelet to go with it.
We met and had our pictures taken with a group of Girl Scouts and their moms. I got to hold some babies and pull a few boys into the pictures with us. On our canoe trip back to camp I was harassed for being flirty with several boys, charges I repeatedly denied.
I was wondering more if Austin and Matt would come to camp on Friday...
To be continued.........
Thanks for the many comments received on the last two stories. They have been helpful and I appreciate your interest, please continue
but became a Rainbow Camper after he got into some mischief at the girls' camp...
Now at Camp Rainbow, it's time for payback to those who ran out...
Willy/Patti had given her word to keep his agreement...
He never expected to be a girl camper...
It was nice to have the excitement over, and as the week went on things got back to normal, though normal for me should have been Camp ArrowHead instead at summer camp is here. It was Thursday when both Sharon and Director Laura asked me and Cami if the camp should be expecting Austin and Matt on Friday. They were trying to guess what kind of clothes and sizes would be appropriate if they showed up.
I thought there was a 50-50% chance that they would both show up; Cami was 75% sure Matt wouldn’t come. I spoke up, “Well if one doesn’t show up, I don’t think the other will, do you?”
“They are from different towns so unless they communicate with each other, one boyish girl just might be here,” Cami giggled. All of us giggled, but I had mixed feelings about, what if, Austin did and Matt didn’t show up at Camp?
“If only Austin shows up, you would give him the option to back out wouldn’t you, Ms. Hills,” I asked?
“He would have that option, but I don’t plan on offering it to either of them.”
By now I was participating like any Rainbow camper; the 'Life Lesson' segments continually reminded me that girls looked at things differently. Guys tended neither to look nor talk about things until they were planning to act on them. Then we tended to pool our own thoughts, with a locker room ego mentality.
Where girls would share their feelings and think out loud; what they said often made better sense to me. That was more than I use to give girls credit for. Some things they shared with the full group showed they used discretion. There was more sensitivity not to hurt others.
Like this week they were talking about birth control. I know guys joked they know what to do, but that they should not trust a girl if she said she was using something. Today they shared condoms were 80% reliable, but that went down to 50% and 20% with guys who did not use them properly or practiced good hygiene after the first time.
Willy could have been in either of those latter groups. Nurse Jane privately gave me three packets of condoms but said I needed to account for them at the end of camp. “You should have one with you at the dances, just in case another boy wants to make-out with you,” she said. The idea grossed me out and Ms. Jane knew it.
“Well, you have already been kissed by a boy. Can you tell me for sure that won’t happen again?” I wasn’t planning on it and if Austin is here dressed as a girl. “I can’t think of any boy I would be tempted to kiss. I’m sure I won’t.”
“Has your pads ever stopped it from becoming noticeable that you’ve been aroused,” she asked? I didn’t respond but we both knew the answer was yes.
Julie, Cami, and Staci teamed up against me to find out what Nurse Jane wanted to talk to me about. I was surprised when they did not laugh at me. They did give me a bad time. They warned me that I better not have sex with any Rainbow Camper or they would turn me in and I would be kicked out. They smirked saying I shouldn’t need them until the 2 or 3rd dance with campers from ArrowHead.
I got angry but Cami came out and said, “If you kiss them a few times, you might be surprised how you could be interested in the right guy.” We were walking to lunch when Cami whispered, “Come and talk if you need to. I expect there’s a lot of thoughts and feelings you are not used to going through your head.”
I stopped and looked at her and I realized she was serious and trying to be considerate. We just squeezed hands and went to lunch. Stephanie came to stay with me during FOB, flat on back time. “Patti, I came down hard on you earlier and I am partially sorry about that. Part of my being a counselor is also being here for you. I understand all you did was kiss and that might not have been planned. You more than the others are likely to have a difficult time with all you are going through.”
She says, “You talk in your sleep sometimes and more of it’s as Patti. You really want to be like”...
“Steph," I was now holding one of her hands, "I want to talk but I don’t know what to say. A lot of it is as Willy, but I am starting to think and feel more as Patti.”
“So who would you like to talk with Dir. Laura, Sharon, Jane, or someone else?”
“No, I can’t open up to them. I'm not saying right now, but I feel comfortable with you.” We talked and I changed into some jeans to go horse riding. “There I just changed from my shorts to jeans in front of you and I liked just being Patti. You’re a pretty counselor and two weeks ago my thoughts would've been very different.”
Stephanie squeezed my hand, “You are thinking more as Patti, I think if it were me changing, you would have thought more as Willy.” The truth was she did change her top, but she had turned away from me and she changed from shorts to jeans, but did it discreetly as possible. It hadn’t registered until afterward that she had changed.
We were at the stable, the first of the afternoon; they had us saddle up our horses but the head staff person told me April was still young and I should not turn my back on her. I wasn’t exactly sure what she meant, but I quickly found out. I threw on her blanket and as I lifted the saddle; I knew it would take a good heave to get it over. So I turned and lifted the saddle so I could swing it over. As I started April nipped at my butt and I scooted. I tried again with the same results.
Chad the other wrangler came over and helped me to throw it on and then handed me the belt underneath to cinch up the saddle. As I reached down under April, she turned her head and got me again.
Chad laughed, "There are three things you can do with a horse like April: Know her habits and act accordingly; you’re a rightie, you could have reached with your right hand and had your buns turned away from her head. You could be the boss and be tough enough, giving her more trouble than it's worth. I could show you but I don’t recommend it. Last, I have seen you two are usually friends; friends do better if you see them more often and talk to them when together. I don’t know where your head was, but April noticed you and you showed her no attention.
“You’ve got to be kidding, I like April and choose her every time. I don’t think a little affection is going to change anything.”
“I heard you like horses and told your sister and mother, you would like one. Come here and face me and let her head rest on your shoulder. Now raise that arm like you are hugging her; now bring your other hand up above her nose and pet her… Do you think she’s a pretty horse?” I said yes and hugged her. Several girls were taking pictures and it was as though April and I enjoyed the moment.
“If you enjoy hearing compliments for being a pretty girl, don’t be surprised she does too. Now take her reins and walk over to be one of the lead horses.”
I did and Staci spoke up, “You’re butt was turned to her and she didn’t nip.” I turned around and gave April a big hug and told her how beautiful she is. Then I started to cry.
Chad laughed at me, “Why do girls get so emotional when they get happy? That boy if he was still here wouldn’t be crying.”
Staci said, “What makes you think he isn’t?”
“I was told he had trouble making it until Friday and they sent him home with the short-timers.” The other girls laughed as did I. “Are you girls kidding, he’s still here,” Chad asked? The staff was not to snoop and ask about a camper if they didn’t know something. But Chad asked several of us as we rode for our session.
As we walked back to the tent to change for swimming, Steph said “You know a number of the campers will dance with Chad tomorrow. It would be funny if you and Willy both danced with him.”
During swimming I swam out to the platform several times, once lying down to tan a bit. I happened to be wearing my two-piece suit. Lisa and Susan both shared, “Wouldn’t it be nice to get a picture of you tanning yourself on this platform where this all started.”
“Well you can take your picture, but you can wait a long time if you want me to unsnap the top.”
Lisa says, “That is what I told your sister, but she was sure you would cooperate.”
“Susan, what would make you think that?”
Susan sat on my legs, “I’m going to unsnap your top, and if I were you I would smile, so your sister isn’t tempted to snatch it as she dives into the water.” My top was undone and Lisa took some pictures.
Susan dove into the water without hooking my top back on. Lisa said, “You are going to be in trouble with Sharon when she catches you like that. If I were you I would hurry up and re-hook my bra before Sharon gets here.”
“So are you going to distract me and hope that Sharon or another lifeguard comes out?”
I’m startled by Sharon’s voice, “No, it’s already too late!” I jumped and my top did not come with me. Sharon giggled. “Lisa if you and Susan set this up, I’ll be upset with you.”
I was hooking it around my back and Staci helped me hook it around my neck. I could tell both Lisa and Staci noticed my breasts were swollen. Lisa started to speak and I cut her off. “I’m sorry Sharon…”
Sharon laughed, “I don’t think so Patti. I don’t want you to lie to cover for her.” “Lisa this is a warning. Do not push your luck thinking it is justifiable.” “Patti not to excuse this, but you now have had a very rare experience to see it’s not so funny to embarrass another person.”
I was crying and went swimming back to shore when Sharon tried to stop me and we both fell into the water. “Settle down young lady before someone gets hurt,” Sharon said as she put me in a hug. “Lisa you are now on duty.” Sharon swam with me back to shore, and Staci was not far behind.
I lightly showered on the beach, as I would have to wait to get to the regular shower. Sharon, Staci, and I sat at my tent and we had a good trust time. Staci and I have been growing as friends and I felt good that she was in our sharing time.
We openly talked about my being a boy, but having so many experiences as a girl. Staci was restless and I knew why. “So Staci, you are wanting to ask something, aren’t you?” She tried to say no, but couldn’t say anything.
Sharon was called away, and then Staci spoke, “If I’m not mistaken you’re not wearing your breast forms, but I don’t understand it.”
“Of course I am, you saw them when my top was off,” Patti quickly answered. What would make you say that?”
“They had bumps that form on real breasts, what I saw is really you Patti, but it can’t be.”
I explained the hormone blocker for testosterone. Staci laughed and mentioned, “Some of the girls laughed about the food you are eating and said it would serve you right. They said tofu and soy milk and things like that were good to bring out the real girl in you.”
“My mom said if there are any changes they will go away when the blocker wears off. She thought it might help my experience.”
“My dad would go crazy if he knew the girl talk I am having is with a boy who has breasts as pretty as mine.” She reached over and touched my left breast, going under my swimsuit. “It is warm, soft; see that you are responding to my touch.” I tried to stop her. She says, “Don’t worry I won’t hurt you, nor tell anyone. But if you want a girl experience you should explore how your girl body feels.”
“You heard that a girl should feel guilty about her body, most girls do some exploring. Your mother may not have thought about this but this is part of the experience of a girl our age. Especially at camp when she's away from home. She should know from Susan that these are some experiences that make this unique. Not all the girls are permitted to attend life lessons, but your Mom gave the okay.”
She pushed me to lay back and placed my hand where her hand was. She touched the inside of my upper leg and brought my hand there. “I don’t know what is normal for a guy, but you feel like a girl with hot pants.” With that, my body shook and I knew what was happening but I hoped Staci didn’t.
She took my hand and tugged me up and took me following her. Without a pause to slow down, Staci was running me across the camp and we ended up at the nurse’s station. “Ms. Jane is it true that if we share something confidentially you won’t be able to say anything as long as we are not hurting ourselves or anyone else?”
“I think Patti just creamed herself, kind of like a boy, but it's because she was sensing things as a girl.” She conveniently left some things out so people wouldn’t get into trouble, but said, "I accidentally saw her breasts. I realized they were not the breast forms she had, but her breasts were forming as I saw her nipples budding. She said her mom said she was to experience being a girl as a Rainbow Camper. I encouraged her to explore her emerging girl. I think it is beautiful but until she creamed herself, I panicked. It’s beautiful but I think she needs confirmation from you as an adult what she is experiencing is kind of normal and beautiful. She also needs to be able to clean up.”
“Wow, I am not quite sure how this experience came about. I am going to presume that this is basically like you said and not something between you Staci and her as Willy."
"Patti, I would like your confirmation that you two were not doing anything bad or out of line. I especially want to know if this is something between you as Willy and Staci or another person on camp?”
She had me undress and said I would be able to shower in a moment. She sent Staci back to get me a change of clothes. Nurse Jane examined and visited with me, “You are some special person Patti, and you have attracted some special friends who will shake their heads in years to come. They too are sharing a special life experience. Could you imagine any of us trying to answer, ‘Mom what was Summer Camp like when you were growing up?’” We both laughed and I went to shower and clean up.
Staci brought back a change of clothing and waited until I was ready to go to dinner. “One more thing,” Staci added. Her thumb and index finger were on my lower jaw, opening it ever so slightly as she tilted her head and gave me a warm kiss. “I wanted her cleaned up so it wasn’t confused about whom I kissed.”
Jane said before dinner we should get to the project hut as they were making tie-dye skirts, dresses, and tops. I was familiar with the tie-dyed shirts we made regularly at ArrowHead. Ours there were simple hit and miss about whether they looked nice. Come one of the last two dances in July the girls and Camp Rainbow showed us up with dresses, tops, and even pants and shorts all tie-dyed that actually was attractive, having girls in them never hurt our perspective.
I was glad to have the opportunity to do something bigger. Judy and Thea headed up the 'Project Hut' and they were ready for stragglers like us. She had two styles of dresses and a camisole top I liked. Both dresses would have shorter skirts so it was hard to choose.
Thea suggested I consider making one for Austin and would show me how to make the skirt portion peach with peach, yellow and pink top. I would need to come back after dinner to get Ashley’s dress done on time. I went with a peaches and cream look for my camisole. The two would set me back $25. As I proceeded, Judy had the other dress ready for me to dye a soft blue, with a pretty pink to be applied this evening or early in the morning.
Staci found a light jacket she would wear along with a camisole. I knew the skirt and shorts that she would be wearing. They would make nice outfits.
Julie had come back to work on her project that she started in the morning. Jamie was now with her as well as Cami. Julie saw the dress I had started for Austin, under my suggested name of Ashley. She whispered something to Cami and then to Julie and asked me if she minded if Jamie added some satin ribbon as borders around the bottom hem, neck, and even under the bust-line of the dress?
Jamie knew who Austin was and though he did not seem feminine or gay, she thought he was a boy of his word. “If he thinks Matt is coming, I expect him to be here. And I think the dress would be really nice for tomorrow night’s dance.”
“You don’t think he will have to be attending the dance and dancing with boys, do you,” I asked?”
“Well, Dir. Laura did ask in particular for Friday and for them to stay overnight and fully participate as Rainbow Campers. Ms. Hills' ideas usually entail more than people considered.”
“I suspect the Arrowhead boys will be looking for you anyway, but Austin is too big to be you.”
“What are we going to do if they find out about Austin and give him a bad time?”
“You’re the mischievous one, what would you suggest?”
“If we have enough Campers willing we could raid their camp. If we could learn which groups are going to be away from their area overnight that would be ideal.”
“But we’d get in trouble with Ms. Hill even if we didn’t get caught by the boys.”
“The best pranks we pulled on you, you thought other girls did!”
“Like if we planted a couple of new pairs of panties and bras, having taken their boy clothes, we would initially be blamed. But if the stolen clothes were buried behind the grounds of one of the groups with ice cream sundae stains it becomes an ArrowHead problem.”
“You know Sunday there will be an Early Summer Sale at Today’s Fashion Shop?” Cami said with a hint of more to come. “If you give me the names of three of their guys I will have one of them meet me in town. He will buy a bra, in anticipation of catching up to Willy. We buy the same bra and he becomes the fall guy.”
Patti, “Cami, Willy curtsies to you that is good. Jeff, Cafferty, and Rob are my suggestions who Cami could land and who would likely be part of any trouble.”
Jamie, “I have not heard anything you have said, but I am officially telling you it would be improper for you to try a prank over at Camp ArrowHead. Patti would be the first one suspected and in big trouble if she were caught.”
“What could they do?”
“If they caught Patti or a girl; I’d hope they wouldn’t be as creative as Dir. Hills. I won’t say anything more.”
“Staci, could we plan to do something whether or not they give us any more reason. I suspect at least 1 or 2 of those guys were in on the prank where Lisa got hurt.”
We decided to go to dinner and we'd meet without Julie and Jamie afterward. Staci had me go back and change into my tennis dress and panty. The group had started to talk in my absence and their discussion was to keep me out of the prank. I just smirked and asked how they intended to get in and out undetected.
I was asked if it could be done. “There are two ways through the preserve and at least one under the net if we have 200’ of strong rope out to the platform.”
I had Ashley’s dress ready for Jamie to take home and finish. Jamie had the satin ribbon she would use and it was a unique pink that worked better than I thought possible. Quietly, I asked Jamie if I were able to get a similar dress done while at camp if she would finish it with a similar ribbon application.
We had fun around the campfire singing a lot of pop songs and getting lessons on dancing like a girl. It was fun. The reality I would be a girl only seventeen more days was hitting me. Four weeks ago I prayed for reasons it might not last. Even tonight I was worried as a competitive guy, about having girls outdo me in some of the activities. Like in the morning we were having a two-mile run and I'd like to be first or have a few girls beat me as possible.
I know better now how many were honestly in better shape than I was. I knew Lisa, Susan and Cami would probably outrun me if they were up. More girls said they would run when they found out I was running. I told one girl I thought I could beat her; her response was “Good, I will get to watch your cute butt. It would be cuter if you wore your golf outfit, so I get a glimpse of a boy in panties.”
The giggling grew at my expense as several said they would woop my butt, and that was one of the nice jabs. I knew 9/10ths was in good fun.
I woke early, dressed in layers, and ate an energy bar, and drank some water. There were some 15 runners compared to the usual 6. Jamie was happy and after everyone stretched the run began. We had run a quarter-mile to a trail that wove up and downhill. I made the first mile and some before I started to tire. There were a good six runners ahead of me and three others who finished with me.
Since I could not shower with the other girls I took a running dive into the lake and had my first wet-shirt display. My Sister quietly informed me it showed I was using a pad. I thought the giggling was a little much for the showing of nipples.
Nurse Jane told me to get a change of clothes and use the shower at the Nurse’s Station. I wasn’t thinking and grabbed a pair of short shorts, which now made me look like an all-American teeny-bopper. I was eating when the three of us got a call to the Director’s Office.
We guessed right and it was Austin being dropped off by his mom and a sister. Austin either had on a wig or a lot of extensions added to his hair and it looked very nice for a girl. While we would work to continue his transformation, Austin was well on his way. His sister Samantha said she thought the experience would be a good one, but warned us not to take it too far.
Samantha suggested there should be a community girls’ day, something Dir. Hills took note of. His mom shared while the family knew, the community did not, “While it is against the odds that everyone will be quiet, I would ask you to try.”
Cami did get their e-mail addresses so she could send some pictures. They suggested the name Bree and heard our suggestion of Ashley. Austin was the one who chose to go with the name Ashley Rose Jackson.
Officer Jamie drove up in her trooper car while we were still meeting and pulled out Ashley’s dress for the dance. Mom and Samantha thought it was really cute, girly, and would look good on Ashley. Ashley did receive it well but was upset about the mentioning of a dance. I am sure he wanted to back out, but his family quickly got in the car and left.
For me, it was so natural to hug Ashley as one of the girls. Lisa was to be his Big Sister. Austin was ready to lose his cool when she took his hand and asked him to come with us. We had him relaxing quickly. Sis met them at one of the high school campsites. I hear they helped him have before and after look pictures. A cold drink and yogurt were taken to him.
It would be 10:00 before we saw Ashley after they were done with her. We had a life lesson segment that Ashley was in with. The group warmly greeted her arrival. Ashley asked, “Who’s the other boy?”
“She was transformed weeks ago,” said Cami “If you sign on to stay the rest of the summer we could do the same for you. We'd even let you know who she is.”
Staci “Girly-boy is still here but we are protecting her identity through the dance tonight.”
The Life Lesson today was on skincare and hair removal. I was in the front row with Ashley and I was chosen twice to be part of Nurse Jane’s program. She giggled and thanked me for cooperating and wearing short shorts. Ashley took my hand, “That couldn’t have been easy in front of the other girls and another boy.” I kissed him on the cheek and said thanks.
Next was canoeing during which many of us were out to get Austin to relax by getting into a water fight. Lisa reminded Austin to be Ashley as others might be watching. Ashley's cool was lost as she stood up in their canoe and lost her balance. She went falling out into the water. When she got into our canoe it was obvious that she had a nice set of breast forms, which caused me to smile.
Ashley’s tent is a bit larger than mine, it is over at Cami and Julie’s campsite. Ashley got preferential treatment to the shower and using the loo that I did not. She did come out smelling a lot more girly than when she went in. If one seriously looked one could tell Ashley was a boy. Austin was taken through the experience for all it was worth.
During lunchtime, others helped her to choose a salad and small fish sandwich for lunch and a chiffon tart for dessert. It was funny to see her reminded how to hold her utensils, take small bites, and chew her food like a good girl. Ashley even got to go into the girls’ bathroom to clean up.
I expected her to come out like a boy with war paint on, but they were treating her very well. During FOB the campers with Ashley were able to help her practice dancing as a girl. Each step of the way Ashley would protest until after swimming when Austin just slipped away. I was feeling a little sad as I wasn’t getting attention.
On the other side during FOB I wandered off and was giving extra attention to April and found myself getting extra attention from Chad. His Mom is the lead wrangler. She said, “He wishes he was one of you too.” I wasn’t sure if she meant for me to hear that or exactly what she meant. “He’s around girls so much, he wishes he could let down his hair and be one.”
When I saw him again, I suggested, “Your hair is long enough you should put it up in a ponytail and dress a bit more like one of us.” When he smiled I was sure I was reading him right. “Well, how about you and I ride tomorrow afternoon with your Mom as our chaperon?”
“I don’t really want to be a girl, I just…”
I interrupted, “You don’t need to prove what you are or are not, but you probably would like one time being one of the girls. It’s a neat experience and I am game if you are.” He and I were saddled and riding some five minutes before others arrived, and by then it was agreed that we would ride a few hours on Saturday. His mom was to get him a pair of girl’s designer jeans and a country girl’s blouse at the farm and country store.
It was a fairly easy ride up into the state park and back. Then we, like Ashley’s group, had a chance to swim and sunbathe. All the campers were happy to make sure Ashley had on her skin protection, but no one warned Ashley about getting, a girl's tan outlining his swimsuit. Luckily she was wearing a dress for the dance.
I took the opportunity during swimming to swim and check my idea for getting under the netting, I was 90% sure it would work.
After dinner, we all had extra time to shower and get ready for the dance which was at Camp ArrowHead. Overall the dance was quite nice. There was a new guy Sam whom I found it easier to dance with. My surprise was I enjoyed dancing with him as well as taking a walk during which he kissed me. He wouldn’t have minded doing more, but he mostly honored my requests. He did hug me from behind and kissed me on the neck once, as his hands, accidentally came up to my breasts.
My ‘no’ should have been quicker, but I too was interested in seeing if my nipples responded to being touched. It was shortly after they did, I said “No!” as well as I used my hands to stop him. On our way back I saw Cafferty walking Janis away from the dance with Rob and Jeff following a little out of sight. I quickly grabbed Cami as well as Sam.
By the time we got there, they figured out Janis wasn’t me but were twisting her arm to get her to tell them who was. Sam was a gentleman and pulled Cafferty’s arm off her wrist and caught the one that would have slapped her. Cami warned the others not to try anything. Rob tried to push her aside and run, but Cami used her black belt finesse to force him to the ground and to stay there.
Janis was crying and apologizing for walking away with them. When I reminded her she was only walking with one guy, she said but they said it was the word of three boys to one girl. Cami knew Janis had a reputation that was not in her favor. We served notice to the boys to keep their mouths shut and their hands to themselves. Then we went back to the dance.
I suggested for Cami or Staci arrange to meet Cafferty in town and go shopping on Sunday. Cami thought he would not go for it after that exchange, but I assured her his ego was quite big and that he would believe in his charm if you would play to it.
While I was angry at Cafferty and the others, I was being swept off my feet by Sam and the surging feelings of my new body. Sam would be here through July so we would see each other again.
The dance came to an early end when Sharon heard about Janis’ treatment. Mr. Andrews was upset and got their director to phone our camp, both were rude to Sharon. They knew better than to call and bring Director Laura in on the incident. I danced a few times with Ashley and actually favored Austin either way over Sam.
Ashley had danced with a bigger guy, Jake, often during the night. I joked about how Jake kissed when I realized that Ashley had, in fact, kissed Jake. “Don’t be so surprised,” I said, “the Camp’s girly boy had the same experience but probably stronger.”
“But I’m not gay!”
“You’re probably right you’re not gay, nor are you going to stay a girl, but in some ways, you had the experience of both. And the world did not end and you did not become an unnatural creature with one eye, a deranged mind, and one or two boobs. For a guy, you look very good as a chick and hopefully, you're enjoying the experience. Patti can say pretty much the same things but is wondering.”
“Are you telling me that Patti is the name of the boy Rainbow Camper?” He paused and thought as he said, “But I don’t remember meeting another Patti. You’re not trying to get me to believe you are a boy, are you?”
“Ashley, I can’t take not telling you any longer. You met my sister Susan with Lisa early in the day. Five weeks ago when I was part of a group that played a prank resulting in Lisa getting hurt, I got caught because I couldn’t leave Lisa injured in the water. Sharon the head Lifeguard caught me, and for me, this was a punishment.”
“So if you truly are a boy, what would Patti be wondering about?”
“I am not sure if I want to stop being Patti and a sister. I know you won’t ever date me but I really liked being seen and treated by you as a girl.”
“You’re telling me you didn’t kid me to make me feel like a fool to the other girls.”
“Have the other girls treated you like a fool? They wondered about me and my motives, but they have treated me more than fair. They think you are neat, they know you have more courage than me. Would some like to get you in a dress again sometime in the future, I am almost sure. But they would see it for your enjoyment as well as theirs.”
“Why would they like me dressed as a girl if they don’t think I am a girl?”
“Because you listen better as a girl and they like your softer side along with how you look like a guy.”
“In two weeks when we have our next community dance if you’re here, would it be alright if I wanted to dance with you as Patti?” With that Austin/Ashley pulled me to him and kissed me and ran his hands down to hug my butt. “It may not be right but I like your soft side. I know I wouldn’t date Will be, but I might dance or even date Patti.” The kiss was warm and tender, the hug came from nice hands they belonged to a tender guy or young woman, and neither lasted long yet was very nice.
Susan was close enough to notice but her only response was to suggest we check our faces and redo any lipstick we were wearing. I said thanks and she responded, “Young women and men weren’t like that when I was growing up.” lol
Cami and Julie caught up to us while we were both redoing our lipstick. “Well,” said Julie, “Make sure neither of you gets pregnant that would be very hard to explain.”
Ashley jumped to her defense, “It is nothing like you think.”
“Patti is a very good-looking young woman, and if I didn’t treasure her friendship so much, I would be tempted to jump her bones,” Julie retorted. We got into talking about friends and sometimes wishing we were lovers but suspected that would be temporary and the friendship would be much longer.
Sharon and Samantha had gotten into our group discussion. Sharon said she still had three camp friends and half a dozen classmates she kept in contact with. Samantha as a staff person said she had many more campers she communicated with. I hoped soon to be another one of those campers.
“Will I be eligible to come to reunions?” Sharon responded saying it would be a good question for Dir. Hills to answer. The others said it would not be a good 2012 reunion if the special Rainbow Camper couldn’t be there. If she didn’t come too bad, but if she’s not invited it wouldn’t be a happy reunion.
Sharon finally shared her reason for coming around to the campsites, “I don’t want you, girls, to take into your own hands any repercussions for tonight. That especially goes for Susan’s brother, do you girls hear me?” We acknowledge hearing her, but when Staci mentioned we wouldn’t think of it; Sharon knew we were, I could tell.
We were up early with about two dozen girls going home. Most were here through July and Sunday about 50 girls would be coming for 1, 2, or six weeks.
About fifteen of us went out for a hike including Ashley, to minimize the talk of two would-be girls at Camp. Ashley’s mother and sister would pick her up any time after 11:30 am. Ashley was to shower and change into her new dress after our hike. We made Rock Mount by 9, had breakfast and nutrition bars, and were back to camp just before 11.
Cami and Joanie had permission to go to town early just before noon; Cami was rendezvousing with Cafferty in town. Cami had talked to him after the lights were out. Since we were back Staci went with them as well. Their cover was that Joanie wanted to see if she could work at the Fashion Shop and the other two wanted to snoop out bargains for the next day’s sale.
Cami met Cafferty and Sam, and then Cafferty came back with her to the fashion shop. Cafferty wanted Cami to purchase it, but she swore it was bad enough to be setting me up; she couldn't be on record for buying it. Heather as a good salesperson talked him into buying an inexpensive but cute camisole to go with it. Cami complimented him on his taste and said a girl would be lucky to have you as a boyfriend. Instead of saying “thank you” he agreed with her.
Back at camp, it was nice to be part of the group saying goodbye to Ashley. His sister was really pleased with the dress and a few pictures. We promised none of them were or would go onto the internet. Dir. Laura asked if it was alright if one picture without names went out in their promotional material the following year.
When Samantha checked the ribbon application around the neck, she noticed his tan and remarked, “Austin, you will have trouble with changing your girly tan, before vacation.”
“Sis, tell me I can change that by tanning in the backyard?” Sammy responded, “The small strap marks won’t be hard but since you didn’t undo your back strap that is next to impossible. Austin let me dash your false hope it is impossible.”
Ashley looked with shock as her sister and mom giggled. I too was in shock but for different reasons, but hid my feelings for now.
Susan put an arm around me and said, “My brother will have similar girl problems in two weeks.”
Samantha giggled and replied, “If your brother is as pretty and ‘all-girl like Patti I would say he has a problem. “Everyone gave the usual hugs and promises to stay in touch, they Austin left.
I then plopped on the ground as everyone turned and went their way. Except my sister turned after a few steps and Cami and Staci returned after a few more. I first spoke to Susan, “Sis what am I going to do in two weeks with vacation starting on Sunday?”
Cami was behind me with her legs unladylike spread next to me. She was giving my neck a massage and being quiet for a moment. Susan wasn’t sure what to say, but said, “Don’t worry Mom will figure out something. John and his two children will be there, part of the time, so she will want to make a good impression.”
“So you’re saying she’ll be nice but it’s not about me.”
“You are out of line, Willy. I will tell you Mom is going to be tickled about seeing Patti. You have handled this discipline really well, and the way you have handled being Patti, it is like you have grown and learned a lot. I hope I see a lot of Patti in you after this.”
Cami snapped my bra, “You know you’ve become a pretty good sister, and I don’t just mean to Suzie. (Pause…) You might not want to think of it, but it might be best if Patti went on vacation. You would have enough time to make the change for school.”
“Yeah, I could see myself 24/7 on a public beach. It’s funny that I will miss Patti, but I don’t see Patti apart from Camp Rainbow.”
“You have it wrong, being a girl among girls is a lot harder than fooling guys and adults. If you want I would leave Camp and you could come home with me as Willy or Patti. We like you enough, to go the extra mile. That is not what we thought when you first came here.”
I didn’t want to appear as believing what they were telling me. But I was calming down and thanked everyone as I got up and made my way back to my tent. Cami and Staci walked with me, telling me about their time in town with Cafferty.
Cami shared about their time at the Fashion Shop with Cafferty, “He liked the gag idea of getting a bra to shame you. He wanted me to pay for it with his money, but I said I was risking enough just by helping him. Heather came over and talked him into buying a camisole to impress his girlfriend a little more. When I mentioned a girl was lucky to have a guy like him, instead of saying “thank you” he was cocky enough to say I was right.
Cafferty and Sam said they were camping tonight near Mount Rock. “Cami, if you can tie the rope to the platform tonight, we might as well do it.” Cami and Joanie would not be in on the raid since they were at the store, nor would we risk getting Julie in trouble. Susan, Staci, Lisa, and I were the main group on the raid, Tonya, Tess, and Janice would help with a few things, with two others keeping watch all the time.
Susan and Lisa helped to give us added height as they would appear like taller boys going across the camp in the dark. We were in the preserve by their fence by 8:30, but wouldn’t enter the camp until 11. We and five others were signed out to be camping out up at a horse site. We borrowed latex gloves from the Nurse’s Station, shave cream, bags of girls’ stuff but not from our girls, and a small shovel to bury them.
It became a little interesting as Jack had stayed back at camp. Our only advantage was he was a snorer. Tess kept watch of the shower room and the shortcut from the state park. Lisa was digging the hole for the guys’ clothes. Susan, Staci, and I were working inside throwing clothes out to Tonya and Janice. I found Jack’s bait worms and told Tonya that they were to go in with the boys' clothes. I did save two worms for Cafferty’s bed.
The girls' clothes were distributed around, we took their Eagle flag and threw it behind the Bears campsite. I took my pants, shirt, and shoes off giving them to Susan and suggesting they take the other exit at the preserve for their return.
Tonya had grabbed the cook’s hot mitten from the Bear’s camp and I used it to handle the shovel out into the lake. I swam out to their second platform, I knew because guys dove off of it and searched the bottom; the shovel would someday be found. I stuck the mitten between the platform and the drums that are used to float it. Again I was sure it would be found.
I rested a bit before swimming for the net. A little flashlight marked the spot where the net was raised and from there I made it to the platform where Cami was waiting for me. She untied the rope and we swam to the shore and made our hike to the campsite.
Everyone was tired but no one was going to sleep. Lisa and Susan were sure someone was watching the area we entered the camp. Everything we knew went flawlessly; all gloves were accounted for and burned in the campfire. We weren’t due back to camp until 8:30 but word reached us at 8:00 a.m. that we were wanted by Director Hills.
She was neither a happy camper nor very angry at us; she did not interrogate us, but instead, she indicated there better not be anything to tie us to what happened at Camp ArrowHead.
New campers arrived and settled in Camp Rainbow as Camp getting back to normal and the new girls were settling in, some were even seeking out Patti.
Director Andrews from Camp Arrowhead came to our Camp at dinner time and was angrily making accusations, but Program Director and Head Lifeguard rebutted. “One of our girls on Friday was attacked and you called it insignificant. For years boys from Camp Arrowhead have played pranks and we credit it to boys being boys. This year Willy Landis was caught because one of our campers was hurt and he rightfully acted with compassion.”
“Mr. Andrews, if I have my way we will retaliate, but not with anger or hurt. I believe the relationship of the two Camps is on thin ice. If I had my way we would retaliate with whipped cream and lipstick. If your boys are good-spirited they would respond with water balloons and pillows.”
“Mr. Andrews!” Susan stood and spoke up, “Willy’s identity isn’t a big issue, his punishment caused him to learn more and to have more fun than he would have at Camp ArrowHead.”
Mr. Andrews had calmed down but was still angry when I stood and walked over to my sister. “I did not come over here to be lectured, but to ask for an apology and for you to identify and punish those who were part of the prank.”
“Director Andrews, I started this summer at Camp ArrowHead, and now I am a Rainbow Camper. I could orchestrate a raid from this camp to Camp Arrowhead as Lifeguard Sharon said. But you ask us to admit to a raid and prank without an accusation of what we did or the evidence you have that suggests we did it.”
“I know, who took part in the prank in which Lisa Hart got hurt, but you did not insist they be identified, two who knew Lisa was hurt. Friday a girl was hurt and her dignity not that of her attackers was insulted.”
“Young lady,” Mr. Andrews responded, “You don’t look like you’re the brother or sister of Susan, nor appear to be Willy. I am tired of being questioned by ordinary campers…”
I was now angry, “I am sick of what you think. No Susan and Willy and now me do not appear to look alike in all aspects. I use to look more like my father, but my resemblance to my mom has grown more. No, I don’t appear to be Willy, and I am beginning to think, I am more Patti than Willy. Do not use me as an excuse; I believe the evidence will indicate that the prank at your camp came from within the Camp. I think it is time for you to leave Camp Rainbow.”
It was but a moment and he left to the applause of the campers. Our new campers were quickly buzzing to ask about all that happened and appeared to be happy to be at Camp Rainbow. Susan sat with me and said that I should not get such a big head, “Campers new and old are happy because they are not on the short end of the crap with boys.”
“But little sister do you realize that you outed yourself. More than identifying who Willy is; you are acknowledging that you are transitioning from a boy to a girl. Whether you find yourself to be Willy or Patricia, I love you. Your Mom and Dad are proud of you.” I found myself in the most wonderful hug and as tears began to fall Cami, Julie, Staci, and other girls came as a group, and we embraced.
The various groups by ages broke up and had an evening of coming to reform as the group that would share their camp experience for the two weeks ahead. There was one change at our campsite. Lisa and I now had a larger tent as Stacy and Tonya had asked permission to the tent with us as their quarters would be overly cramped.
We were up and at breakfast, and I was wearing my tennis outfit when a big surprise came. Dir. Laura arrived at the dining hall and all attention went to her. “I have two announcements I would like to share as well as my welcome to those who joined us as Rainbow Campers yesterday. I apologize that I was not here last night for your encounter with Director Andrews of Camp ArrowHead, but I compliment you on how you, the Staff, and Campers handled yourselves and represented Camp Rainbow.”
“I have been told unofficially that any link to our camp was circumstantial at best and fitting for a prank of immature boys. Seemingly the clothing from one campsite was taken and buried behind one of the sleeping areas and replaced with girls’ underwear. That there beds and bunks had shaving cream under sheets or in the bedding, and that the flag for that campsite had been taken. A picture of a stick propping a fenced area is said to be evidence of where you entered and fled from.”
“If there are among you those who did the prank, I suspect you have seemingly done so well that the evidence will, in the end, prove to be a prank of their own campers, but indict no one.”
“My second announcement is for a special camper among us who lost track of when her mother was coming to visit. Patti will you please come forward, greet your mother, and then introduce her to the camp.”
I wasn’t to have on lipstick nor had I learned how girls greet one another without smearing it on the other. I jumped up from my chair and ran to my mother entering the room. I jumped into her arms as a much younger girl might do hugged and kissed her leaving my mark and show my panties from behind.
“Thanks, honey but I might remind you to act like a young lady and not a smaller girl. Showing your panties to your friends is not becoming for your age.” I turned red with embarrassment. After I regained my composure, I introduce my mom, Karen Landis to the staff and campers. I invited my sister Susan up to be with us as well.
“Yes I am here to see Susan as well, but I gave myself one week to visit you, at Camp Arrowhead I thought. Now I find us in need of shopping for a formal gown and accessories. We also need to decide how we’re going to handle going on vacation, young lady…”
To be continued…
Your comments are appreciated.
My thanks to two friends who helped to proofread and edit this chapter. Any mistakes that remain are credited to me the author.
Learning to Be Patti
My mom had rented a small cabin at the camp during her visit and told me to come to get her when swimming began later that morning. My first activity was a Life Lesson Session with Nurse Jane and today we were learning to do self breast exams. She had us unsnap our bras and then place our hands inside under our bras and gently use two fingers.
She had demonstration models presumably with cancer in each. I was one of a few to correctly identify where the supposed cancers were. One was an abnormality caused by extra tissue on a nipple but it was not cancerous. I was again chosen to model the exam and asked to bear my top.
She had nicely asked and I agreed, though I think she was expecting I was wearing the breast forms. It was funny as she started to examine me that my nipples enlarged and hardened. She quickly said, “Oops, I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”
“I saw it coming and it's okay, you have a nice soft touch,” Jane was the one turning red. The other girls murmured, then the news spread that I was developing real breasts. It was embarrassing as well as funny. Other campers now wanted to touch my breasts thinking they might feel different on a boy, or to make sure they were real.
I was walking out of the room, when my Mom came up and gave me a hug, saying “I am really proud of you son and if you don’t mind my saying you make a pretty woman and daughter. I know that sounds like a contradiction being proud of my son being a pretty girl.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
“How about you get ready for swimming and meet me at cabin #3 after you have your swimsuit on?” We hug and we each go to get ready. I had already laid out my two-piece suit so I quickly go and get changed.
Staci and Tonya giggle as I accidentally change in front of them. I didn't take the time to notice them changing as I changed.
Staci spoke up, “You are putting several girls in an awkward position in revealing you’re changing?” I looked up guessing I'm naive that somehow I was really changing. I ask what she meant.
“It was a pretty big step for most of us to have a boy Rainbow Camper, but it became a growing experience. You were like a living Ken doll we made up in Barbie’s clothes. We didn’t expect you to become a real Barbie with real parts.”
“Staci you know I didn’t plan it; it’s just happening. If someone thinks it’s weird, they should experience it as me.”
I'm in my swimsuit, check myself, and quickly off to see my mom. Unfortunately, as I arrive at her cabin; I knock and hurry in to hug my Mom. I was already telling her about what Staci said. Realizing I had caught her in the midst of putting on her swimsuit. I was there hugging her with her bare breasts. I quickly apologize and sit down fully embarrassed. But I'm also proud that my Mom looks so beautiful.
A few seconds later her suit in place and she's brushing out her hair. She had a blanket as well as her towel. She knew I was embarrassed; she only mentioned how nice I look in my swimsuit.
Mom enjoys putting a bit of lotion on me. I had thought I was too big for that.
Mom was 19 and in college when she first knew my dad and became pregnant with Susan and now seventeen years later she's a vivacious looking woman of 36. Now as her second daughter I'm seeing her in a new light. She grabs my hand and we ran into the water, dove in and swam out just beyond the platform.
Much of the time we're just treading water and talking. She is smiling, I am too that we're mother and daughter. She says, “In time, we'll need to talk about what it means to be a girl, but for a little bit I just want to enjoy my time with you.”
Enthusiastically I ask, “So you think Patti is real?”
Mom stares and gives me a look saying, “Patti, it is not a simple ‘yes/no’. And I actually see even more of your father in you as a girl.” I swim to her and hug her. I could tell she wondered if she said the right thing.
With the remaining time, we go on the platform rest, tan, and do some girl talk with others. The others agree that I have a cool mom.
Mom agreed with Dir. Laura that she would help the Rainbow Campers to put in a butterfly-hummingbird garden. Mom would also have life lessons during the week to go along with the project.
We are back and change in time for lunch. Mom asks how I managed to do it so fast. “You can use my shower when it’s helpful, but make sure you don’t barge in unannounced. And please make sure you are decent when you come back out.”
Lunch is simply making your own salad and sandwiches. My Mom finds it cute, how my eating habits are changing. I make a salad with a variety of spinach, seeds, fruits, and different vegetables, and a reasonable portion of a lite dressing. I used a large piece of wheat bread to make half a sandwich with chicken, tofu, and greens. Previously I demanded 2% milk, but I'm now using skim milk.
The campers around our table enjoy informing my Mom of the changes and activities I have been through. Mom is surprised that I have not overstepped boundaries or sought to inappropriately sneak and get cheap peaks as a boy might do.
“No, but we got to see him try-on and purchase her first bra. We have gotten several looks as she has been changing and we make her wait to get into the shower. Patti was with the high school campers and helped to save Julie from the bad people. She also helped us with a prank on Camp ArrowHead after they tried to hurt a girl. She’s still tough but she isn’t mean or nasty.
Mom asks, “Do you think she deserved to be punished like she was for the prank Willy helped with?”
Cami strongly spoke out, “Yes, she deserved to be punished; and the punishment fitted what he did! But I didn’t think he would stay with it. Part of me was angry when he first started to adjust. Many of us wanted him humiliated and hurt. We were sure the Patti image was a put on. I don’t think Cafferty or any of the other boys would have done it. I know I wouldn’t have accepted them as a friend as I had with Patti.”
“But Patti is a boy pretending to be a girl and in two weeks he can go back to being himself,” Mom says. “What if he goes back to being his old self or misuses what Patti has earned here?”
Sharon is been one of many now around our table, “Do you really think that is likely? He would have to be a real low life to misuse what has been shared here.” Sharon went and hugged Patti from behind, “Patti, I would be very surprised and hurt if you haven’t changed.”
Cami spoke again, “If Patti has made an imprint on my life as she has, I would be surprised if the change weren't real. You may want and get your boy back, but I hope Patti will forever be inside him. My real hope is that Willy will forever now just be a part of Patti.”
Mom squeezed my hand and then put an arm around me; all the others seemed to be staring at us. “No, I don’t think Patti’s just pretending. I really don’t know the future. I do want to thank you all for helping Willy/Patti to adjust and make something good come from this discipline. It probably wouldn’t have worked any other place for us without your help.”
“I would like to change the subject and ask your help on a project,” Karen asked? “How many of you have seen a butterfly and hummingbird garden?” About 25% of the campers and most of the staff nearby had. In some ways, it is a project we are doing for other girls and women. That is unless you come back to Camp next year or the future. “
“Lisa, Stephanie, and Maxine on Maintenance are going to work with some getting soil spread out and the ground prepared, six camper-girls will be dropped off at the lumberyard with Sharon to be the models for six, nine-foot emersion benches. Others of us will go to the Claremont Greenhouse and Nursery to pick and purchase the proper perennials. Then as the week goes on a smaller part of each day will be used to finish the project a 60’x40’ Rainbow Butterfly Garden.”
One girl asked, “What are emersion benches, and why different campers as models?” Sharon and mom both agreed they were great questions.
Sharon responded, “Those who have slept outside at our hilltop site or Rock Mount have had the experience of being engulfed in the stars on a dark clear night. The benches are being designed for campers of different sizes to lay down on the bench about 8” inches off the ground so you will be down among the flowers as butterflies and hummingbirds may come to the flowers and fly about.”
“Women/girls have a keen appreciation of color, fragrances, and the delicate sides of life,” said my Mom. “But we are pressured more and more to be like boys and guys. Consider lying back and watching clouds float by or someone is reading a poem or playing music while you have flowers and butterflies moving about you.”
“It’s kind of a female heaven with no boys around to ruin the mood.” I don’t know who said it, but most got the picture. Another girl spoke up and said, “But I have a Dad who is pretty neat, I think he should be able to enjoy something like that too!”
Mom said, “I agree and I think it would be neat for you to enjoy it together, with him lying back on a bench the right size for him and you on a bench nearby for you. It is neat when a male can learn from a female world.”
“I have a brother who likes girl playing, but I don’t think he would be comfortable doing it here. He hasn’t even been able to share it with mom and dad, though mom knows,” said another girl.
Cami suggested, “You should let them enjoy it at whatever point they are comfortable with. I know we can’t force more guys to have a Willy moment, but I wouldn’t mind finding myself with a date at such a garden. If he couldn’t enjoy it might help me know him better. Kind of whether I might like to be with him or not.”
Carol another staff member interrupted and said, “You better get going or it’s never going to get past the dream stage.”
I got to go with the group to the Claremont nursery where there was a big selection of flowering plants but Mom had us focus only on the perennials. Jessie and Faith two workers at the nursery gave us a quick lesson and showed us charts of the different plants and the various times from spring to fall that they flowered. Some could be planted unusually close as some bloom in spring and the other at the end of summer or fall. Most that we choose should blossom during the summer when most campers are here.
We would be selecting well over 200 plants. We helped make the selections and Faith told us that we did a great job. We helped to load them in a straight flatbed truck and would help to unload them at camp. Jessie said, “I will try to have a computer drawing tomorrow morning on where to plant the various plants and how many. It should provide a nice variety and balance, while the garden will have over 60 different flowering plants. Some types will need more of their kind than you selected for a good showing and flower production. So I expect we will be bringing more out in the morning to accomplish that purpose.
When we arrived back at camp we were taken to where they prepared to make the garden. Some 15 high school age campers had moved three power poles to make three sections 40 ft. wide to make the slope of the hillside less pronounced. Topsoil and peat moss were spread and mixed to make a rich flower bed.
Those from the three groups wanted, stayed, and shared their experiences from their part of the project. Out of 45 campers, just over 30 stayed and participated in the general discussion, then there were smaller groups that broke off. I was proud of my Mom and felt how tired she must have been for all she put into the day. The groups disbursed as we got closer to 6:00 p.m.
I sat down cuddled with Mom, Susan was also with us. Somewhere in the discussion and cuddling up to Mom I had fallen asleep on her lap. The two of them helped me to Mom’s cabin, changed me into a nightgown, and placed me in bed to sleep. They went to the dining hall to eat. It was 8 o’clock before Mom returned and woke me up.
She had been to my tent to collect my sleeping bag, pillow, a change of clothes for tomorrow, and the essentials a girl needed. Mom made a light snack to hold me over to breakfast. We stayed up a good while visiting as well as getting ready for bed. Mom basically talked to me as Patti and I responded the same. It reminded me of a night long ago when Susan got to sleep in Mom and Dad’s room nestled in on the floor near mom’s side of the bed.
When they woke the next morning I was lying next to my sister having carried a pillow and a teddy bear with me. Tonight I got to be there all alone with my mom as her little girl. When I woke I had a large towel rolled up and hugged in my arms. Mom said I was restless until I got my dolly.
I told her it was my teddy, and she told me she tried to give me my teddy, but I told her no three times that I wanted to hold a dolly. When she agreed it was a dolly, I snuggled it and then went to sleep. She told me it was a great night and she would treasure it, but she wanted me back into camp mode.
Staci went with me after breakfast to the Camp Store and helped me to look for something to snuggle. Staci looked into the sale area and found a unique colt lying down with its black and white face raised. She knew with my love of April, and that I would love it and I did.
I bought it and pulling Staci behind me we ran to the stable to show April. April was happy to see me but wasn’t sure what to make of Little April. We would be back to ride after our Life Lesson.
Today’s life lesson was to be “trust walks” and Nurse Jane partnered me with Brandy. Trusting her would not come easy and I was surprised that Jane didn’t know. Luckily I was to take Brandy first. I asked, "Brandy pretend with me that you had gotten hurt and had been blind for three weeks. You came to Camp Rainbow so your friend Claire could help you relive the camp experience."
We talked about the so, so breakfast and she told me, "You don't know how humbling it is to eat here. I am proud that I'm a very pretty girl and takes a lot of pride away from me." I heard her hurt as she was embarrassed as she ate, touching some food with her hands, dropping food from her fork onto her clothes or the table. We walk out to the dock as I looked for the best canoe.
“You stopped me right at the edge didn’t you,” she said. I wasn’t sure if it was a question or accusation, but I knew she had the right to be afraid.
“No, I am pretending to be Claire hoping you would trust me as though you were with a friend,” I said. “I am not sure why we don’t get along, but I know you have the right in not trusting me. You are a pretty and smart girl, even if you were blind I think you would be special enough to be a doer.”
I handed her a life jacket and helped her to get into the canoe. I had her sit in the back as it held more responsibility in directing the canoe. We were soon out to the lake and I asked her to turn into the sun. She did a beautiful job. “Imagine it is sunrise and you are directly facing the totem pole on the beach; tell me where the sun rose this morning?”
“It would be coming up over our campsite on top of the hill, and I can imagine the silhouette of three horses with riders starting down the trail. Ducks are swimming to our left but I am not sure how far away they are. I just heard a fish jump on the other side of the canoe.”
I shared, "It is four ducks a mom and three not so small babies; They are probably 100 ft. away, angling to go ahead of us.” I asked her to paddle backward and turn us around going away from the ducks. We now had a clear lake in front of us and we started to race our canoe against one from Camp ArrowHead.
They had given us a five-second lead, saying they felt sorry for Brandy. I knew Brandy was a very good canoer and I did my best to help row fast. We were coming up to the marker that we had to turn around. It was a real marker and I gave Brandy an approximate idea to paddle to the left and a hundred feet and we counted down and adjusted to stay on the left side of the marker as we turned.
“Where are the ducks,” she asked? They were still a distance away, but Brandy wanted to know their position and the direction they were swimming. She guided our canoe to move away from them as we passed far to their right. Brandy was now ordering me to keep the speed and to go directly to the shore but not in the swimming area.
It was a long sprint and very taxing but as we rode up on the beach Brandy raised her paddle and yelled for our victory. Others came to find out what the commotion was about and Brandy shared “We had beaten the boys in a canoe race, and I was blind the whole time.”
“If you beat them in the race what did you win,” Jane asked? And without any hesitation, Brandy said, “I won a lost friend.” I was already out of the boat and I guided Brandy as she walked to the front and out on the dry sand.
Brandy took off her blindfold and gave me a big hug. As the hug relaxed, I started to pull away but Brandy pulled me to her and gave me a big kiss on the mouth. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the kiss despite the catcalls and whistles of the other campers. Brandy and I would remain friends and be pen pals when apart.
Cami walked with me to lunch, “Patti how did you make friends with Brandy?”
“It was funny, we just imagined she was blind during our trust walk that I was her friend Claire. And as we got caught up in the fantasy we cared about each other. I do things as Patti that I didn’t as Willy. …A strange thing though ‘Willy had a neat imagination long ago when he enjoyed more things.’ I think young Willy and I had more in common.”
Cami giggled “You referred to Willy as someone else. I know you are the same but Patti is now very different from Willy. It is like you are another person but we share things in common.”
“Cami, can I share something with you, and please don’t think I am weird?” Patti dared to ask? Cami nodded and stopped. “I remember as a little boy being in my sister’s room as my Mommy read a story. Susan was to lay back and imagine as my Mom read the story. It was a story of a girl traveling along the prairie and her mom had her lay down in a field of wildflowers and butterflies. Then all kinds came flying around her from one flower to another, some even landed on her nose or face. I felt the butterfly kisses on my cheeks. There was one glowing a light blue, but it was …”
Cami smiled, “You imagined yourself as that girl so strongly that you felt what she felt? So are you afraid that you are like that little girl?”
“Kind of, I am afraid of being a girl, and worse because I like it. I know it’s silly but there was this blue butterfly." I say, "It was like a light blue light and for a moment it looked like a fairy and she said something to me, but I can’t remember what.”
“Have you seen the blue fairy since,” Cami giggled?
“That’s the strange thing I did; she often came when I had trouble sleeping and the next thing, I was asleep. I hadn’t seen her in years.”
Cami, “Hadn’t, are you telling me you are seeing her again?”
“It’s like I see her but I don’t for sure. I think she’s been there when I ride April. When I first saw Polly, I was so afraid I was going to turn and run but a light blue glow was there for a moment on Polly’s shoulder. Then I saw the glow and felt her warm presence on my shoulder as I helped Polly. There were other times… but I know it’s crazy.”
“I don’t know what it means, Patti, other than it’s important to you. I like that you shared it with me.” Cami paused to give me a hug, “Inspiration or whatever you’ve done some amazing things. Having your own fairy angel wouldn’t be bad.”
Cami smirked, “I don’t want to break the mood but I hear you bought a miniature April and took it over to her. So don’t you think that is a little too girly of a thing for a fourteen-year-old boy to be doing?”
It dawned on me that I was missing my horseback riding time. I sat down and began to cry. “You came in from the lake late, and you visited with so many. Maybe you can sneak over to the stable during FOB. “
We ate, I excused myself went, and changed into a nice pair of jeans, hoping I could get a ride in. April was in the corral, Chad’s mom said since I was late she wasn’t taken. Chad opened the corral and suggested I take April as she needed the exercise. I wrapped Angel to April's saddle and we rode out and Chad came with us. He suggested we get going in case anyone came to find me not taking my time out.
I noticed as we rode up the trail that Chad had cleaned himself up and had shampooed his hair that morning. So when we got to the lower campsite I got off April and was showing her some attention. When Chad rode up I asked him to bring his brush if he had it.
I asked him to sit down saying it was a good girl day and I proceeded to brush out his hair into a nice ponytail. There was enough in front to have a sweeping bang and a loose curl down both sides. We went riding a little more before heading down to the stable.
He reached for his brush as we got closer to the camp and I asked him to stop, “Do you really want to do that.” He shook his head no, knowing I understood. I knew Susan and Lisa would be in the group coming to ride horses next. I suspected they and the other high school girls would be slow to consider what Chad’s appearance might mean?
I later found out that Susan had offered to get a pair of culottes if he wanted to try wearing them while he rode. Both Chad and his mom turned down the offer with their thanks. At the rest stop several girls got to Chad. They painted his nails and lightly made up his face.
His mother was not amused, but Susan and Lisa stressed that it was not presented to him as an option. Susan knew his Mom did not personally dislike it being done but worried about the reaction of others.
I was the one who should have been worried about others’ reactions to my being gone. Mom wanted to arrange a trip to look for a gown. “I can’t believe you would be spending good money for a gown for me,” I told her. She told me it wasn’t an option but part of my agreement to experience camp as a girl.
Cami and Staci were looking for me along with Julie as Julie had heard that the shovel was found over at Camp ArrowHead. The camp girls had a pow-wow on the side during a shared campfire and program night. It was not on the official program nor were we sharing it with the staff, but we were planning a raid on the guys our style. We decided on a hit-and-run strategy so that the event would end on our turf; where we would have more resources left and waiting, as we anticipated their coming after us.
Thursday night would be the night! Hopefully, the following night at the dance, respect and good feelings would return but hopefully we would be respected as equals.
My Mom rescheduled her Wednesday and mine and we would go shopping for a gown.
My nights were in some ways more restless and in other ways more serene and wonderful as I was often thinking or exploring my growing female identity. Did you know that the nipple and areola got little bumps on them when they were excited? I didn’t expect a young girl my age to find pleasure from what I was experiencing and for sure something I didn’t expect me to be experiencing. As I wasn’t a girl.
I could remember when I saw my time at camp Rainbow only as punishment, having to dress as a girl and be known as a Rainbow camper. Then I started to fight the feelings as my feelings were changing. I was becoming one of them and then when I started to feel like I do now, I felt more like Patti a real girl. Part of me is worried because it takes so much more to be a girl and I feel like I know just the tip of the iceberg. Part of me thinks I am still Willy and feeling guilty that I don't work harder to stay as him. Worst of all that more and more I feel like I am Patti.
The truth is many qualities I like about Willy are easier to live out as Patti than Patti’s identity in Willy. It’s okay for Susan to wear boy clothes, to act tough, and to participate in more things. It isn’t cool for a guy to be one of the girls.
I also thought about how I have treated others. I am usually fair and sociable with most, but I know I have discounted a few friends and not been there for them on account I would like to be liked more by the many, and I had been willing to sacrifice others more than a few times.
At Camp Rainbow, I was impressed by real friends like Staci, Tanya, Cami, and Stephanie. I knew it cost them to be friends at first. In five short weeks, I have been well received by the vast majority, but I know schoolmates who have been harassed for 5 years for one reason or another.
I was up and walking around unable to sleep. Stephanie came out to ask what was up. I told her I wasn’t able to sleep. “Is it a matter of 10-15 minutes or do you need to talk and be up for a while?” I didn’t know about talking, but I knew I was up for a while. There was another campfire area that Steph had us go to and she lit the fire and we just sat around it.
Staci came over about 15 minutes later, “You’ve been thinking about things before your mother came, so what’s up?”
Steph and I had both wished she hadn’t come over but it was what I needed. “You wouldn’t understand you’ve always been a girl.”
“I may not understand, but it’s like you often want to say or ask something and then step back. I’m your friend and I’m a girl and Stephanie’s a camp counselor, so try us.” Staci even brought a bottle of nail polish and first asked for my hands. “Having your nails done is just good girl therapy,” she said.
“You don’t have enough light to do a good job,” I responded.
“I do too and you are just delaying before you start to share. Let me take care of your nails and I will only pause for tears and hugs,” Staci said. I began to open up. We talked about big things and little things. Among other things she wanted to know if I was looking forward more to see Austin or Sam? Steph asked about looking for a formal gown and that was a time I kind of broke.
“Why would a boy be interested in the color or style of a formal gown, but I am,” I wept a little. “Staci it’s not only a question if I go on our vacation as a girl, but what if I consider going to school as a girl?”
“Wow, you are actually thinking like me and others at the camp, who think somehow you have gone from being Willy to becoming a girl,” spoke Stephanie. “That would be a big decision and you should take your time and discuss it with your mother and others.”
I realized that Sharon, two other staff people, and Tanya, as well as Julie and Cami, were now at the campfire sight. Staci had finished my fingernails and toenails and Cami was brushing my hair and putting it into a French braid. Cami whispered, “I think your hair has grown a good inch while you’re at Camp. This is much easier and nicer. I like the natural curl it has and how you have learned to take care of it and your skin. If you ever go back to Willy you will need to stop both, which would save you time, but drive the girly girl crazy.”
It was 3:00 when Sharon brought out the makings for smores and 3:30 when she suggested it was time to get some sleep. It was a good note to end on and though most of us would be waking in 2 ½ - 3 hours it was not hard to get to sleep. Nothing was really settled but having others who cared and knew made my spirit lighter.
Steph woke me at 6 and suggested I use my mom’s cabin or the Nurse’s station to shower and get ready. I showered, and shampooed and conditioned my hair well. I was bright and cheerful, and Mom gave me a big hug seeing I was happier and energetic.
We worked on the Butterfly Garden and it was taking shape. All that was needed was the emersion benches which would arrive this afternoon and the last of them set in place tomorrow morning. Even now butterflies were beginning to find their way, and the Rainbow Campers got to see some fruits from a lot of work.
I used Mom’s camera with a telephoto lens to capture Rosy with a butterfly on her face. None of the benches had been set, but Rose laid down in the garden and it took some ten minutes of being still to be rewarded as she was.
I went back to Mom’s cabin to get ready to go shopping and as I showered again, mom set out a new outfit. The panties and bra were new and a quality that sent shivers up and down my body. I was still walking around and enjoying them as mom was back out and getting dressed. She was not upset as she understood my delight in wearing such finery.
They were both a pale pink that glistened and hugged by the body of thin satin pillows. She had out a very pretty sundress, with pantyhose and nice shoes. She took the time to help me with my make-up and hair. I felt like I could already be going to a special outing, but I had not experienced a big city formal.
Others were coming out of the dining hall as we made our way to the parking lot to go shopping. Both Cami and Brandy had whistled to their delight at the figure I was sporting. Mom hugged me and shared how proud and happy she was for me.
We drove for a half-hour and stopped for lunch. It was a nice family-run restaurant; the food was good and the people treated us well. Mom had shared we were going shopping for a formal gown for me. Our waitress was probably 3-4 years older than me and she asked where we were going to buy a dress and where the social was?
“Lori, do you know of many women's apparel stores that would have formal gowns worthy of an NYC social event?” my Mom asked. Lori called “Mama” who came over and spoke to us and named three stories as well as a Macy’s and an upscale women’s shop at Paramus. We found out from her mother there were three women’s apparel shops over at Paramus close to each other that would be worth our seeing.
Mama refilled my mother’s wine glass and as she did she pour no more than three sips in another glass, “If your mother is willing it is a day to celebrate for a young woman.” I looked up to my mother and she nodded yes. I said “Thanks” and sipped my wine.
I had washed and used the toilet when we came in so I was ready to go when we were done, but Mom said we needed to use the lady’s room again. “Patti, when you go into the dress shops how you present yourself will say a lot about you. Plus Mama has high regard of you as a young lady, I would not want to disappoint her.”
I was surprised having fixed my face how much better I looked and felt as we left. It took us just under an hour to get to Paramus and locate the three women’s stores we were told about.
Mom spoke up, “Now do not get your heart set on a gown at the first shop, even if you try something on and think it is perfect. That would be your father in you speaking.” She was right there were two gowns I would have easily said yes to either one and been done.
It was at Carmen’s the second shop we found a red gown with spaghetti straps and chiffon tooling red and white around the shimmering gown. I loved it, absolutely loved it but the price was $459 already on sale. I snapped, “It’s a beautiful gown but there is nothing that makes it worth that price!”
I quickly realized I was rude and showed my immaturity and began to apologize, “I am sorry, I know I shouldn’t have barked like that…” The saleswoman was offended but recovered nicely; another woman came over and spoke nicely. “If it is just another pretty dress I would agree, except for your temper. If you would come back with me to the changing area and step out of the gown, I would like to show you why it is special.”
Mom and I walked back with her and she walked into the area the seamstress would have a dress modeled and altered. I did not know enough to go to my changing room and step out of the dress there but followed the woman who reached behind me and undid the top hook and starts the zipper. I proceeded to undress hoping she would not recognize me for a boy. The woman and Mom smirked but went along with me.
Mom took one side and the woman helped with the other as I was soon out of the gown. She gave me a dressing robe and had me sit next to her. The red gown and another were hung before us. “Notice the stitching of these two gowns, even the seam of the liner on your dress is a better quality than the main gown of the other one.” She pulled out a ruler and had me count threads for an inch and my gown had over 50% more threads per inch. “Check your chiffon tooling, is it scratching like many?” I had to agree it was not.
“I understand your mother wants you to check the third shop, but if you like this gown as your favorite, I encourage you and your mother to come back here and speak to me. I would not reward your brashness, but your apology and your being willing to sit with me might cause us both to be happy."
I asked for her name; "My name is the same as the shop, but your saleswoman will be the one to get the sale.” I turned red as we left, though there were two gowns I was interested in.
The third shop also had many gowns that I liked and two that really caught my eye and I felt I had to try on. “Mom, I could make a day of trying on these gowns and be satisfied just with the joy of how they feel and look.” But the best of them was not able to sway me from the red gown at Carmen’s.
We were back to Carmen’s and I was pleased that there was no one there expressing an “I told you so” attitude. Carmen had a strapless bra and two pairs of 3” heels for me to try with the gown. I would have given the gown a ten before and now it would be a 12. She asks me to check the hand purses and select one. There is another young teen there; she and I look through the purses. The choice is between two, one a woman would choose and another we thought more typical for a teen. It also went well with the red heels with white accents.
I strolled back loving the ensemble but thinking I was going to be disappointed. Carmen asked my mother what she planned to spend. Mom responded, “$395, Patti would need to pay the remaining amount if she wants it.”
Carmen turned to me, “Well young lady, what if I asked $500 for all of it, plus two pairs of silk stockings, the panties that go with the bra. Taxes and alterations we would split. The gown alone would be at least $1000 in the Big Apple.”
I walked away with my Mom, “Mom you know there is no way I would have done this even yesterday. Willy earned the money, but I would like your permission to buy it.” Mom said, “The cost of the gown and other items she is including would be over $750.00 here.” She gave me a hug and her permission to buy it or not. We walked back and I said “yes.”
Carmen said, as long as it is worth it to you without a fight, the final price is $475 for everything. It took another thirty minutes to pin and mark it for alterations, make a deposit and do the paperwork.
It was 5:30 when we headed back and I asked my mother if we could be back at Camp by 7:30. I shared the girls were going to raid Camp ArrowHead with whip-cream, lipstick, perfume, and water weapons come 8 p.m.
“I am sorry mom, I know we should spend the night celebrating the gown and the beautiful day, but this is even a rarer day for the girls to strike first.” We were back by 7:40 and I quickly changed into my swimsuit and then put on shorts and top. I caught up to them just as Susan picked the lock on a gate to get us in the Camp; we were 75’ into the camp before we started our charge and scream. The boys were good-natured in their attempt to fight back. Only one boy had a stronghold of a girl as we were set for stage 2 of our retreat. Cami quickly got that boy to let go as she depantses him.
The boys took 10 minutes to grab pillows, shave cream, and mud before they launched their attack. We were in a group laughing and carrying on as they charged, but each girl had at least two water balloons as we stood and turned to greet them. We had another 50 pies of whip cream. The boys did get a few good shots in and partially saved face when the special event's lights were turned on.
Director Laura shared she was surprised but not displeased. “Any ArrowHead Camper who is willing can take a swim and with the help of a Rainbow Camper get cleaned up before you head back to your camp is invited to do so.” I found Sam and lead him by the hand to the lake with a bar of soap in the other hand. I took off his shirt and suggested he wash it out that while I cleaned him up.
It was fun as I poured water over his head and broad shoulders, and I was delighted as I made my way down to his waist. But what was I to do with his pants and him inside? I took the bar of soap and soaped him down, realizing he was growing and getting hard. I was rinsing him off using my cupped hands.
I knew he was getting ready to cum and was embarrassed, but I jumped up wrapped my arms around him, and gave him a kiss and hug. As he relaxed I washed that area one more time, and sent him on his way.
Laura and Sharon had us up cleaning the camp until 11:00. “All those girls willing to set aside your modesty can dress down to panties and bra and clean off in the lake, others are to go and use the showers first.”
Susan knew I would guess about what I should do, so she grabbed my hand and we ran to the lake together. I was soon down to my bra and panties. Brandy came over and helped me to clean up. I could give her the benefit of the doubt as she turned me on. I felt ready to explode but I knew it wasn't deliberate on her part. It was my first experience of having an orgasm. While I creamed my panties and Brandy gave me a big hug. My excitement was not that of a regular boy. She was all smiles as we let go of each other.
Most of the others and I was close behind as I was really tired and had trouble falling asleep. But when I woke up I found myself waking up in Staci’s arms. She smiled and said thanks and kissed me.
Breakfast talk was a mixture of the raid and girls wanting to see and hear about my gown. The emersion benches were finished and the last was being set in place and a lot of people made their way to the Rainbow Butterfly Garden.
I split my day between there, with April, and visiting with Mom. Chad was back to being himself but he and his mom were happy about the day before. Most girls thought he was just acting cute and the rest were happy that he wanted to be cute.
Mom reserved Saturday for Susan, Mom, and I to walk the trails of the state park and talk as a family. But that left tonight with the ArrowHead boys coming to our place for a dance. I dressed in my tennis outfit and mostly danced with Sam. I wanted to give myself to him and make love but knew that I couldn’t and wouldn't. Cami jokingly helped me out by putting ice down my blouse. One ice cube was caught in my bra and was pretty well melted by the time I could get to it.
Sam and I went for a walk, kissed and hugged but I knew he wanted more. I was getting excited but not so much as a male. I was getting excited as we danced and the male in me said, “If what I am feeling is good, then more would be better.” Several girls were wondering if I was diabetic or an epileptic as I passed out just for a moment.
Sharon glibly said, “I think this southern bell swooned from overheating her engine.” Those who got the humor laughed and those who didn’t laugh a couple of seconds late. “Sam I think she’ll need to sit out a few dances.” I was embarrassed as I came around and was allowed to sit up in a chair. Susan and Lisa both came over to give me a mixture of support and ribbing and then some water.
“Aren’t we taking this girl experience a little too far Sis?” Lisa walked me as I felt up to going to the restroom to freshen my face and have her help me with my hair and appearance in general.
“Sis what am I going to do, this shouldn’t happen to me,” I whispered to Susan.
Susan hugged me back and whispered in my ear, “Patti, it did happen and it happened because you’re becoming my little sis. Please talk to me, I never thought I would have a Sis that I could hold and talk to.” We sat for a few minutes and then Susan said, “I kind of sense Dad is looking down upon us and he’s happy.”
We sat a bit longer and for some reason, I asked Susan, “Could we dance, and would you let me twirl as Dad’s little girl?” Susan took me by the hand and we went dancing as another song had just begun. The first time she had me twirl, I did and I went around at least two times. My sister smiled and drew me back and we danced some more. The second time I twirled, I smiled as I saw Susan, I looked up and felt my Dad’s smile and Susan pulled me back in. “Yes, I feel it too, Dad loves you.” We hugged and finished the dance on the ground.
Sam knew I was crying, but he didn’t realize the tears of joy a girl sometimes has. I tried to thank him, but said, “It’s just a girl thing.” Sam kind of accepted what I said yet he didn’t leave me; he just sat behind me.
The dance ended and Sam gave me a hug and a nice kiss before he left.
To be continued…
I was getting excited but did not to go any further…
Sharon glibly said, “This southern belle swooned from overheating her engine... Sis what am I going to do, this shouldn’t happen to me,” I whispered to Susan. …Susan hugged me back and whispered in my ear, “Patti, it did happen and it happened because you’re becoming my little sis. Please talk to me, I never thought I would have a Sis I could hold and talk to.”
The camp is winding down for me and about 50% of the present campers. For many of us, it will, however, include two nights in the city with everyone learning the etiquette that would be helpful to know in the society of a large city and the business world. If you’re a rock star or someone young, famous and have enough money and pull, others will probably be there to show you how to dress or act. For someone who thought a prom was special this was several steps further into a world, I would only be part of because of my Mom and never after this summer.
Susan talked to me as she had gone two years earlier. She had been to a salon and had pedicures and such, but she said, “the pampering and expectations will be much more than you'd probably imagine, please relax and enjoy it. The guy who will be your escort will be expecting a naive small town girl. Part of which might be true, but you do not need to be looked down upon. He will also be interested in picking your cherry. Don’t mistake his male interest for love and real affection.”
“Dah, like I would be interested anyway. I am a boy and I am not interested in other guys.”
“Dah, I heard it was Patti who was going and in Sharon’s words ‘with her engine overheated’. Patti, please do not underestimate how much of you is girl especially when you will look and feel so girly.”
“The gown does feel ooooh so nice, it even makes me look pretty. I like being with the other girls but the guy part of staying a girl, I can’t see it. I’m surprised that I am making it through camp being a girl. I agree it’s practical that I act like a girl on vacation, because of my girl tan.”
Cami and Staci had come over looking for me and overheard our discussion. Cami giggles, “You are so into denial. You will be happy for those soft precious bumps on your chest when you’re wearing your gown. You say it’s only your girly tan that would give away the girly side of you, think again.”
Staci interrupts, “I think you want something else to happen that you could go to school as Patti; while convincing yourself, you are only a guy in girl’s clothing. We didn’t make a ‘Young Frankenstein’ you’ve become Patti. If Willy is half the person you are, I would like you to go back to being him and I’d hope then we could date. But I think I have a better shot at falling in love with you as a girl.”
Mom came in and kicked us out of her cabin and told us to get to our scheduled programs that she needed to prepare for her last session of Life Lessons. We all left but Cami and Staci had smiles on their faces, indicating they knew something more.
I knew something but it had me worried instead of smiling. Mom’s last session of Life Lessons was in the afternoon at the new Butterfly Sanctuary. But I needed to go change and get ready for horseback riding.
I had mixed feelings as I love horse riding and I love my horse April, but alas she’s not really mine. In some ways, she will be the greatest loss in leaving Camp Rainbow. I will have cell numbers and email addresses for others I want to stay in touch with. But I'll only have pictures and memories of April.
April would cost me a minimum of $3,300 if they were seeking to get rid of her, but since she’s a good horse, one they want; it would cost close to $8,000 to purchase her even if I had a place for her which we don’t.
I slipped into a neat pair of jeans for riding; they had a neat jacket that went with them and I wore a simple print blouse underneath. I wasn’t dawdling but as I looked around and everyone else was already gone.
I was met at the stable with a bunch of smiling faces. I did not see them at first but Mom and Susan stepped forward and I knew something was up. “What’s up,” I shouted! Chad walked out of the stable bringing April, “Why don’t you get on your horse.” He also had brought up a pretty brown and white which Susan stepped out and mounted.
I looked at April realizing she might be mine, but instead of mounting her as Susan did with her horse, I quickly but safely walked up to April and hugged her head. Others around us applauded knowing what's happening. Chad’s mom shares that our Mom had bought both houses and they would be leaving camp as soon as their new home is ready for them.
Others soon were on their horses and we were off for a ride. I noticed Mom had taken pictures of both Susan and me, but I did not realize she was along for the ride until she rode up next to me. “Mom, we can’t afford two horses nor do we have a home for them.”
Mom spoke up, “My work earned me a bonus and a promotion and my promotion requires a new home I can entertain people at. So you’re wrong on both accounts. There’s a place up on Warrenville Road, your sister knows the one we are buying. I hope you will be able to keep your old friends as well as make some new ones.”
Just a lot there could easily cost $75,000 in that area but because the house was old and 5.5 acres needed to stay in a forest/woodland reserve program. It needed to be sold as one unit, it was at a steep cost but one Mom believed we could afford. Mom’s major concern was would it hamper the emerging girl in me. That's a good question, but for now not a big concern.
Ahead of me, I had the big city experience and then vacation at the shore all a 100% girl experience.
Now once we make it to an open field, with Chad’s permission I took April to a fast gallop. I mentioned I love the thrill of riding at a full gallop, but Chad and his mom both assured me I had not gotten there.
There's a special Life Lesson time for the campers who are going to the big society dance in the big city. We did a lot of role-playing and despite still being a boy down below, I was surprised how emotionally involved and swayed that I got during that time.
Susan and I went for a long walk after lunch, during FOB, when I was to be resting Flat On my Back. “Sis, I am going through swings when I am so confident of myself because underneath it all I am a guy. Other times I am so afraid because my emotions and thoughts can swing powerfully and fast. I know I can be attracted to guys as Patti. It has already happened and the gaff not only conceals me but helps me to feel like Patti is fully girl.”
“Your character as a girl needs to grow real quick and become strong. This is a very real girl experience, and while the society gig is not every day, the gambit of feelings and thoughts can be. Neither I nor Mom is going to save you from going through this week and or the time ahead as Patti. …I am glad you knew enough to take a walk and talk with me.”
I ask, “Will you keep yourself reachable by phone?”
“Sure I will as will Mom, your friends, and the chaperones. Please call to share your experiences and do not try avoiding them.”
"But what if I find myself going too far?”
“Be thankful you can’t become pregnant and don’t acknowledge you’re a boy unless you are certain he knows. Guys aren’t awfully smart when it comes to sex and it would not be impossible for him to have sex with you and not realize you’re a guy down there”.
“I’m offended by your sexist talk, I am a guy, and while I don’t know everything I don’t think guys are dumb as much as you think or say.”
“You’re right it was a sexist statement and overstated at that, but wait until you relate to a number of them and you are surprised about what they don’t seem to think of.”
Mom sent for me and she, I, and Susan were going to pick up my gown. “Why does Susan get to come,” I asked?
“It was my decision,” said Mom, “I thought she would enjoy getting to see you in your gown as she won’t be in NYC. Get used to it, girls enjoy seeing the joy of other girls.”
“I sorry Susan, I shouldn’t have said it. Thanks, you have been super to me. Actually, I am delighted as I will get to hear your opinion. I think it is a beautiful gown; maybe you will be able to give me some make-up pointers.”
We stopped at the restaurant where we stopped before and see Mama and her granddaughter again. This time Mama tells me no dessert until you know how snug your gown fits. We all giggled as we went onto Carmen’s.
I tried on the gown using the panties and bra provided by Carmen. The gown looked and felt fantastic, but there was something different. Carmen knew it and Mom saw it, but the subtle change stymied me. “I brought up the slit on the left side up another four inches. It is well within good taste and sets off your look to be that of a little more mature young lady.”
I looked in the mirror as I stood, walked and sat in the gown. I'm thinking an older young lady could wear this to a premiere social outing. “You look very elegant in it and your escort will be very happy to have you on his arm.”
Susan said, “Wow, little sister you are very beautiful and we haven’t even done your hair, makeup or jewelry.” I posed as she took several pictures one with Mom. Carmen had the gown taken off and asked me to switch to a padded panty of the same style and I luckily was wearing a pad as I got too excited. Seeing myself with more noticeable hips made me get a little too excited.
We took the time to fix my hair a little, do my make-up and put on the jewelry I will be wearing. Now pictures are taken and I'm in awe about how I look. I give Mom and Sis a proper girl hug as one completely dressed. “Mom, do you see that little debutante,” said Susan? They both smiled as did Carmen and her staff.
Carmen asks to take a photograph and to hang it in the shop. I'm very honored that she wants my picture and asks for me to come back and autograph it sometime. The gown and accessories are carefully bagged and wrapped and took up two-thirds of the back seat. Just such a small thing made me feel extra girly.
The dress resting in the back seat and overlapping onto my lap reminded me of an embarrassing incident some years earlier. Mom had helped a younger cousin of hers to pick up a wedding gown and I needed to ride along and sit in the back with the gown. I was soon feeling weird and told my mom I needed to stop and pee, but she reminded me I had just gone in the store before we left.
Her cousin Leah turned to look at me as my body started shaking and I quickly put my hands under the dress to cover me and protect the dress. I was not sure what was happening. We were soon at Leah’s apartment and Mom hurriedly took out the gown before it could be soiled. Leah pulled me out and helped me to her apartment.
She pushed me into the bathroom and told me to change out of my clothes and take a shower. She would be in to collect my clothes and to lay out an outfit for me to wear. I did as she said thinking nothing of it until I was embarrassed when she stepped in to get my clothes. Because she also opened the shower curtain just enough to give me a conditioner to use in my hair after I shampooed it.
I hadn’t planned to shampoo my hair and I never used the conditioner that was for mom and Susan. I guess now I would do both. Mom poked her head in asking why I was taking a shower here. She planned to take me home since I had my accident
I told Mom that Leah had already taken my clothes and was leaving something for me to wear. I guess Mom saw the outfit as she smirked and told me to make sure I did as Leah told me.
When I was finished showering, I got out and had a few surprises. First, the towel that was lightly scented, it was too girly for my liking. It was the only one out so I used it. I look around and did not see clothes for me to wear. I called out of the bathroom and explain my problem. Leah apologizes, but all she has is an outfit of her niece who was about my size. “I can help you put things on if you need help.”
I chalked things to circumstance and changed into the clothes provided, waiting for my clothes to make it through the laundry. Leah and Mom decided we needed to go out to eat and so I needed to be made up to be a believable girl. Surprising how this long forgotten memory comes to the surface today.
The ride back to camp with the gown is even more enjoyable with my memory intact. We stop at the restaurant for a bite to eat, “Mama” enjoyed that we had sent her some pictures. Instead of dinner we just had dessert and ice tea. Our waitress Naomi is looking at my cleavage as she took my order and she smiled at my catching her. “I am sorry Miss, but you are so naturally pretty. From one girl to another I apologize that I stared, but Mama says the beauty of a woman is best seen by another woman.”
“I agree, you have the character of your grandmother as well as the beauty of her youth.” Mom compliments me on my response.
“Mom, do you think, Mama would be offended if Naomi, Susan and I danced once?” Mom suggested another time and shortly after our dessert, we were heading again back to camp. We take the gown over to Mom’s cabin and then call it a night.
The others were enjoying a night around the campfire when I arrived and quickly change into camp clothes. When I say I snuggled in between Cami and Staci, I am not understating the snuggling in the same way others did. We had but a few nights left and we were enjoying being close. It was not sexual but indeed very sensual; none of us had much sexual experience but our passion for life was deep and strong. Relationships such as close friends mean a lot and can be very moving as it was this night.
These friends helped me to change and grow in ways I never expected or thought I wanted. I accepted being a Rainbow Camper as a just punishment for Lisa getting hurt and my part in the prank. Like many others, I did not expect come to the end of July I would still be a camper and no one expected me to enjoy being a Rainbow Girl.
Julie, Cami, Stacie, Brenda and I received permission to take our FOB, flat on back, time at the Butterfly Sanctuary. Since it was a mild temperature and cloudy, it was very enjoyable as quite a few butterflies were out and even two hummingbirds were present. I got to see a hummingbird up close.
We didn’t know it but a Camp photographer was within a good distance and had numerous fantastic pictures during our time there. There was one picture with three butterflies resting upon Cami and two others flying over her which greeted everyone at the dining hall as we went to supper.
On our way from the Butterfly Sanctuary, Julie ran to catch up to me and shared she wanted to talk. We had visited less and less as she grew closer to other campers. Julie had by now had begun to become Officer Jamie’s adopted daughter or permanent foster child depending upon the decision of Children’s Services.
“I haven’t been much of a friend to you, especially in light of all you have done for me and how much you mean to me,” said Julie.
I paused and stared because Julie had, in fact, become someone special and I was greatly hurt as the friendship cool with no reason being given. I would hear from others how special Julie said I was to her.
“So why now, I have wanted so much to be your friend, but it was like you locked me out,” I respond. “It’s been an emotional rollercoaster hearing how special I was, but when we’ve been together there has been a distance and it was not by my choosing.”
“I am sorry, but my feelings were in conflict and I didn’t want them to get in your way,” cried Julie. She was actually weeping. “You helped to save and free me from the impossible. Jamie said you caring for me was what helped her to warm up and come to love me.” She went on, “When I found out you too had another name and past, a conflict arose. You were a boy named Willy and the truth is I would love to be a friend of Willy’s more than yours.”
“It might not have been fair but I would have tempted and tempted you to become Willy again. I wanted so badly to have a boyfriend I could trust to be healthy. But I realized you growing as Patti was healthier for you.”
“Hmm, Willy could have used help and purpose like that. I did or do as Willy have feelings for you, but you were special to me as Patti. I felt my friendship as Patti could last and grow. As much as I like you as Willy, I was afraid you wouldn’t be attracted to me. Willy hasn’t attracted true friends as Patti has.”
I was supposed to go swimming and Julie’s group was horseback riding, so I quickly changed into a jeans skirt instead of a swimsuit. “How do you do that” asked Julie, making a skirt work for horseback riding.”
“I use a wrap around skirt, boy-shorts panties and a pair of shorts underneath. I know I am a little more fixated on wearing skirts than the average girl, but I don’t profess to be the average girl.”
As we rode we continued to talk, “So Patti does this mean you want me your friend or just to make things right before we go our separate ways?”
“I might deserve that but the girl who helped and befriended me is the one I want to know for keeps,” she said. I smiled and rode up next to her and we shared a hug then rode the remainder together talking. Cami joined us and was happy as she had often felt caught torn between us. “She had the hots for your Willy, I was afraid she could have turned your life back around.”
“Don’t you think that should have been my choice?”
“It still could be, don’t go to NY and stay here and get Willy’s head back together if that is what you want. I will accept you either way, but I like the lipstick and light makeup.”
Julie, “I could find it in me to still love Willy, but I think you’re right a friendship is likely more lasting. Plus in some ways, you and I can learn to be healthy women together.”
The subject changed as April let me know I wasn’t giving her enough attention. We had come to a long open field and to serve notice April quickly turned in a circle and set out in a gallop. Chad, Cami, and Julie set out after me, but April stayed in front of them. I turned around at the end of the field and enjoyed a nice gallop back to the group.
“Wow,” said Chad, “she is some horse. You and April are going to be some kind of match for each other.” The other campers were not wanting to gallop their horses around this open field as we did but at a saner pace.
Since the next group wasn’t riding for two hours we got to have another half hour with the horses. Mom and Sharon were a bit miffed when we got back, saying you girls going to NY needed to be back here getting your stuff ready. We got word we could drive in tonight and have our rooms an extra night.
While the gowns were gathered we needed to quickly pack up our undergarments, pantyhose, makeup, jewelry, lotions, and shampoo, Out of old habit I had taken off my top and was packing in my skirt. Steph and a few other gals gathered around me and suggested I either get more modest or get ready to be jumped.
I was packed, grabbed a half sandwich and yogurt from the dining hall before I jumped onto the waiting bus. There were 23 of us campers and five chaperones including my Mom. Cami brought some music, Staci had the hair and girl magazines and Julie broke out some nail polish.
Wendy another camper was into brushing out my hair and trying different looks as I was looking through a magazine of styles. I felt myself having different feelings both with my breasts and between my legs. I knew it was just in my mind but it felt real and I often felt myself pressing my legs together.
We were over halfway there when I made my way up to my Mom and she had me scoot into two seats with her so we could talk a bit more privately. Mom’s smile and taking things seriously raised my concern. “I came up here for you to tell me to relax; now I’m getting concerned that this girl thing is going further and I thought.”
“Well, several girls had reported to Jane that some of their birth control pills are missing. The way your shape has been changing has caused me to ask if you were doing anything, but you assured me you aren’t.”
“If you have gone out of your way to enhancing your girl experience I should compliment you for succeeding.” I move over and hugged Mom as I teared up. “Are you still wearing a pad ?”
I acknowledged, I had been bleeding but thought it was stopping, but I was still wearing a pad today. I asked how she knew. “There are some telltale signs, I will let you in on them if and when you fully become a girl. I want you to know, you are free to decide who you want to be and you have 100% of my support.”
The driver said we were less than 30 minutes away, so I went back to be with the other girls. We were to be four to a room, two girls sharing a bed. It was expected that I would be sharing a room with my mother, but that was not the case when assignments were given.
Wendy, Cami, and Staci had previously been asked and agreed to share a room with me and it had been approved by Sharon as well as the director. I became a bit upset when Staci sprayed me with some perfume. I thought she was somehow putting her mark on me. But she whispered in my ear, “Please accept my apology but I sensed you might be having girl troubles.”
How did she and my Mom know?
When we got to our room Staci encouraged me to take a good shower and to use the perfumed soap. When I wrapped and disposed of my napkin I realized I was not the only one having a period.
When I chose my long pajamas, Cami joked about me having a period. When I snapped at her she realized instead of a joke she touched a very sensitive area.
“So are you having a period or are all the changes just catching up to you?”
“Does it really make a big difference,” I responded. “I thought I would just be wearing a pretty gown, but there is so much more to being a girl. It is not like I’m going through tough things like Polly, but I feel like I am being a little baby.”
“That’s because you boys discount our issues as being unimportant and baby like.” Cami continued, “If you are having a period and that’s hard, you better make sure you don’t get pregnant!”
I cried and laughed at that remark. “Don’t laugh, if you can bleed it means part of you is acting like a maturing woman,” said Julie.
All three got on the bed with me and swore a vow that they were my friends and that what we shared would be our secret. The others talked about their joys and fears about being a woman. When I woke up in the morning only Wendy was in another bed and somehow, Staci was in our room waking me up.
Our rooms adjoined each other and our side had not been locked. Staci giggled when I told her the others knew and we had shared stories late into the night. Staci came to get me as my mother was ready to take me to an early appointment with a GYN specialist at New York-Presbyterian Medical Center. Dr. Martha Christy took some 90 plus minutes to examine, confirm and instruct me on how to handle my moving into womanhood.
Martha said, “You’re being caught in your childish prank was your good fortune and your discipline was great preparation for a change that I believe was already underway. Your male parts were forming but I am not sure William has ever been a functioning male. Events and the stimulation of hormones into your system have activated the development of your system to the person I believe you were meant to be.”
“I would like to be your doctor, but I think it would be important for you to prepare today for your big society social tomorrow night. You have a lot to learn about being an everyday girl, big and small. …Mrs. Landis, I ask you to support and encourage Patti these are important events and times in her development.”
I want to go through your tube that has bled and made sure there are not blood remnants that need to be flushed out. It would also give me a chance to observe a little of what you might have inside. She asked her assisting nurse to set me and things up for the simple procedure. “And you can check and see for me how big of tubing we can use.”
The nurse was only in her mid-twenties and I could see by a glow on her face that she was finding this interesting working on another younger person in this capacity. “Miss, I am sorry to sound silly but how does one determine the tubing? It sounds like it’s going to hurt”
She giggled but a little, “It stands as much of a chance as being stimulating as painful. I hope you don’t mind, but it is a bit something for me to be handling a pretty boy outside that I could be attracted to if I were younger while exploring the functioning of a woman inside. And either way, I think you are very attractive. That your mother brought you in and is being so caring and supportive is great.”
“If you are really a girl going to a social event, you should have a picture with your gown on your phone that I wouldn’t mind seeing.” Mom shared the picture on my phone as I was now laying back and being asked to place my legs in stirrups.
She started with a 1/8th-inch tubing but gradually worked her way up to a 1’2 inch tubing and with a gel she used I did find it more stimulating. Then she called Dr. Christy back for the procedure. Through the tubing, she sent a camera, light and a flushing tube. Watching a monitor she saw some blood deposits along the walls.
“I wonder if there was something that tried to react with your own sperm… This may cause a little sensation down there” as she began to flush the area. Mom asked a question I didn’t quite hear, but Dr. Christy said it is a bit more like a medically approved douche.” Hearing that my face reddened with embarrassment, I looked to Maria and we gave each other a half smile, as she squeezed my hand in support.
I was again cleaned up and Maria helped me to put on a feminine pad pinned to a belt. She suggested I continue to wear one throughout the day as a protection and that tomorrow my gaff should be sufficient with a thing pad.
We were back to the hotel and I was changed and ready for our lessons in deportment and etiquette. Good posture as we sat, not resting on the back of the chairs, One hand in our lap and no arms or elbows on the table. How we were to hold and lift which fork, spoon or knife, and it was not practiced a simple once or twice. It was practice numerous times until four so it was not only learned but a more natural reaction.
Sharon was glad to see me back and participating, “So young lady what was the news?”
“You seemingly know the answer, tell me?” Sharon looked with puzzlement so I realized she hadn’t known.
“Seemingly, I am becoming a young woman in many ways and the past six weeks which happened by chance and is helping me in the transformation.” Sharon pulled me in for a hug. Cami and Julie were nearby and heard my story. They came up, gave me a hug and everyone agreed we would keep it quiet for now.
We were under pressure as our instructor stated we would be watched and evaluated on deportment and etiquette at the evening meal. Cami jokingly asked the consequences. The reply is, “We will change your escort and it would not be to your betterment.”
We had to wear a plain blouse and skirt for dropped food would be more easily seen. We were one of three groups eating in a large banquet room. It was a light version of a 7-course meal, but items like peas, shrimp cocktail salad were potential problems.
The Camp Rainbow tables were the only group quickly released after dessert and a short time of comments. Sharon told us to take it with a grain of salt as tomorrow was important.
She had arranged a short evening out seeing the lights of the city and going to the top of Rockefeller Center One. Several junior reporters for NBC and area papers were there to interview us. It was an enjoyable and a good experience for any pressure one might feel at the social. The view at the top was very enjoyable for most of us being from small towns away from the city.
We were back to the hotel at 10 pm. and those in our adjoining two rooms decided to have a mini-pajama party. Instead of traditional pajamas, there was more satin and lace camisoles and negligees. Still thinking as Willy in the midst of the other pretty girls, it took me a moment to relax knowing I was now one of them.
Staci was staring at me until Cami and I questioned her. Staci asked me to stand and as I did she had me slowly turn then and not so quietly said “nice hips Patti”. Cami asked me to turn around again as I was now the center of everyone’s gaze.
“Wow, Patti very nice hips for a boy,” said Wendy. Julie came up and whispered asking, “Am I seeing right that you have a pad on, pinned in place? What’s going on, I am worried for you?” Julie took me by the hand to sit with her on one of the beds.
“There are some changes coming but hopefully nothing I can’t handle or anything to worry about. It’s as easy as pretending to be a girl.”
Julie responded and her voice picked up, “I am wondering whether to slap you for being insulting or concerned that you would say something so ignorant..” She drew the attention of the room.
“I deserved that as I really do need your help, but…” I was ready to cry as I pulled her into a bathroom and closed the door. “Julie, I have good news that scares me and dumb jokes won’t get me through what’s coming.”
Cami and Staci knock and we agreed to let them in. “Cami and Staci already know, for some reason, my body is changing and I am becoming a girl for keeps… While I am surprised I can’t say I am disappointed. I know it sounds weird for a guy to say that. I hope you won’t see me as being too weird and stay as a friend.”
“The good news for you is you only need to pretend for a few days.”
“That is mean for you to say,” said Julie. “We thought you were between a rock and a hard place.”
Cami, “I didn’t think it was going to be easy for you to go back to being Willy. It’s difficult enough to be a girl, without starting at 15. We were afraid you would go on without us being your friends.”
“I’m happy because it gives more things we can talk about. I hope you were listening during life lessons.” Staci added, “I for one wouldn’t want to wake up bleeding and not know I was having a period. It’s tough enough as it is. …I hope you don’t mind my asking but did you open up another hole or did you bleed through your penis?”
“If you don’t mind, I’d rather not get into that.”
Cami, “So what has you so scared?”
“There’s so much more to being a girl than I realized. And Camp Rainbow ended up being so helpful and friendly. Going on vacation to the beach, going on with life and going to school. I have a two weeks notice to become a 15-year-old girl scares me,” I cried. Julie was the first to hug me.
“I’ve never been to the ocean,” said Julie; we all paused and looked at her.
“Why not,” Someone asked? Julie felt embarrassed but we all knew it was not her fault. I and others felt petty about our own concerns.
I quietly text Mom, “Julie has ever been to the shore, can I invite Julie to come with us.”
Mom texts me back, “Let me ask Julie if it would be possible before we get Julie’s hopes up.” Julie’s foster Mom, Jamie often patrolled the 3-11 shift, so it was not surprising that Mom quickly got a hold of her. Her Mom is willing but she was planning to go to the beach for overnight at the end of the week. They are off all week but Jamie said it was all they could afford for now.”
“I hope you invited them or Julie for the whole week. I don’t deserve a horse as much as they deserve a chance to be at the ocean.”
“I beat you to it, young lady and yes you can ask Julie for the whole week. They will plan to meet us there come Monday. Don’t say thanks but do find a way to check your feminine pad before you go to sleep and change it if needed. Love, Mom.”
“Julie, how would you like to go to the beach and stay with us,” I asked?
“That would be neat but I don’t think I can Jamie said finances are running a bit close. Having a nice home will be plenty for me.”
“Your Mom, I mean Jamie already agreed that you and she both can come Monday.” Julie became so happy she had to push Cami off the toilet before she wet her pajama bottom. I apologized for being there; Staci laughed and told me my time was coming.
Soon after that Cami and I decided to try and get some sleep. Three of the girls wanted to stay up, so Julie came over to our room and scooted in bed with Cami and me.
Just my luck, I am sandwiched in between two girls, can’t move without touching someone or being touched and now I’m not a guy. It was less than an hour later and Julie rolled over and both of us became heated up and kissed. Our legs and arms were overlapping when we woke up in the morning.
Each camper who wanted and could afford it went to a salon for the discounted price of $75 before tipping. I wasn’t going to go, but Mom insisted that was not an option. Since I went to the doctor’s yesterday and hadn’t checked my legs the day before; they were badly in need of shaving. Staci at my mother’s request removed all razors and hair care items out of my reach. “You’re to be waxed,” Staci giggled.
During breakfast, seven men were dining near us and it visually and emotionally hit me that I would be on the arm of a guy like them. I stood up with the beginning of getting warm and worried. “I can’t, I can’t,” fanning myself and holding onto the table. One of the guys, Brian, rushed over to my aide. With his arm around me and I look in his eyes I swooned with tears in my eyes.
Cami instead of rushing to help make sure she caught the Kodak moment. Brian and his friends were indeed escorts for tonight.
Staci got me and hopefully was taking me upstairs to chicken out, but instead, I was escorted to a limo to cool down for my trip to the salon. “Relax,” said Staci, “You’re going to be so girlified today, tonight will be a piece of cake.”
I told my mother and said strongly, “Mom, I don’t want to be made into a ‘sissy’!”
“You just listen here, if you want to sulk like a spoiled girl to get your way, I will change you into a diaper and rubber pants.” Mom continued, “All that I am requiring is in line with the girl you are becoming. Yes, there are things I am asking, requiring you to experience, but I didn’t force or pick-out the gown that you chose to buy. Nor did I require or accept the jewelry, undergarments or shoes. You have gone this far are going to live out the night as my proud daughter.”
“Mommy, I’m sorry I don’t mean to act like a spoiled brat. I am not angry, I’m scared. Those guys looked at us and it's going to be like that tonight. I am scared most of all because I like being pretty and I am afraid if a guy kisses me, I’m going to like that as well.”
"…I’ve changed not just because the doctor said so yesterday, but because I’ve been changing over the last six weeks. …God help me or forgive me, but I am happy my nipples budded and I bled like a real girl. But I am afraid because of those same things."
“That is the healthiest thing I’ve heard you say in the past six weeks.” I turned around to find it was Sharon speaking to me. Mom and Sharon both gave me a hug. “Now, it’s time to let the activities of this day begin their transforming powers.” They both threw kisses and gave greetings I couldn’t hear.
Julie gave me a hug as she was still wound up about going to the beach. Then she turned to a magazine on hairdos and showed three she planned to choose from. She showed me a picture of her in her gown silver with blue trim; it looked very elegant with her dark hair. I could see how the hairstyles complimented her gown, shoes, and purse. Gone for the evening I hoped were the images of the street-hardened girl forced to grow up too fast.
Julie in many ways had been over the past 4 ½ weeks a good reality check for me as she is again today. It is her friend that I treasure most and was very glad we would get a chance to solidify it at the beach.
By the time we got to the salon, Julie had chosen which hair-style she would use. I mentioned I wished I could have used her third selection, but my hair wasn’t long enough. Julie and Cami both asked if I was in the mood for the hassle of having long hair. Once again I spoke in ignorance, “It can’t be that hard, I already have long hair for a guy.”
Cami said, “Your hair already needs an inch or two cut off to deal with split ends and poor care. If you have extensions put in and your haircut and treated right you could be very pretty, but it would take work to keep it up. We doubt if you are up to it.”
A beautician named Katie came up to me wearing a smile as she looked at my sheet, but she was having trouble holding her smile as she looked up. “This will be a reclamation act if we do things properly?” Katie smiles, takes my hand and led me to her area.
I showed her the style I liked and stated, “I was told I would need an inch and a half taken cut-off and hair extensions used. They also told me if I wasn’t going to take care of it, it was no use. …I’ve been a tomboy and at camp but I would like a chance to change.”
Katie smiled, “You have great potential, you’re a naturally beautiful girl; I am interested in what your gown looks like and see how you get through the waxing. …Wow, you sure picked a gown beautiful enough to begin your dream. I am willing to work hard and fast to do a beautiful job on your hair, but I am not sure I want to see you in two-three weeks.”
Someone else spread the wax on but it was Katie who took it off as well as began working on my eyebrows. The results made the pain worth the while. The air passing over my legs as well as Katie’s light touch sent goosebumps and other sensations up and down my body. She had me wrapped in a nice dressing smock which heightened the feelings I was experiencing.
I made it in time to the ladies toilet as my joy and intake of fluids were at conflict with one another.
Next was shampooing my hair, rinsing it out, conditioning and then to commence with Katie cutting my hair. She was able to get away with cutting an inch and a half and stated my hair was responding quite well to the conditioners. From the top down on my left side she started to attach the extensions but as well as they match, I would need to have it all colored.
Next came the shaping and rolling my hair in curlers and there was the smell of a perm solution. Willy in me wanted to cry and make a fuss, but this time Patti won out. I watched closely as Kate was meticulous. I saw her form the ringlets for the curls that would frame the sides of my face.
Wendy who came in an hour later was going under the hairdryer at the same time. I was surprised that we were actually able to carry on a discussion while under the dryers. While Kate combed and brushed out my hair, while another gal had come and begun my manicure. She had painted them twice, and now after buffing them, put a clear gloss coat that made them appear forever wet.
When did she put my feet in the solution? I don’t recall, but now she was now giving me my first pedicure. My toes and feet till today were ugly, but the rough, hard and some cracking skin pieces peeled off with the goop they soaked in. She edged around the cuticles, worked and worked to shape the nails, even to the point of using a filler that was filed and shaped beyond their former recognition.
I use to wonder why anyone could pay the cost for a pedicure, now I know and think it's worth every penny.
I'm given finger sandwiches to eat while she did my toes and feet. I also got a small glass of Seven-up. I would have argued for more but I wanted to see how I fitted into my gown first. Mom helped with my bra and the lifts that accented my breasts showing enough cleavage for a respectable 15-year-old. The slip coming down over my head sent a tingling that is as much in my mind as it is honest to goodness sensation running throughout my body.
Now I look at my gown coming to me and it's like a sacred garment. The sparkling of the gown I'm sure was the work of angels. Three women including Katie moved the gown down over my hair, my head, and shoulders and down my body with my legs being the last to enjoy how it felt. Buttons were buttoned; hooks and zippers were done and double checked.
I gave a panicky look and said I needed to pee which sent everyone else into a panic. But I had gone to the toilet just before getting dressed and now I was the one teasing them.
All but two buttons were done up on the side of my dress, which to me was unacceptable. I wanted all but three unbuttoned and after that's done Katie, Cami and I all agreed one more undone would still be in good taste.
Everything had taken long enough that my escort had come to pick me up. Mom had already paid my bill and the extra fees, but I demanded fifty dollars be given above and beyond what was paid. Katie had padded my little purse with extra gifts and said more would be up in my room when I got back. Mom's here to take pictures, but she's wise and has a photographer doing it, so she can enjoy the moment.
I stepped out of the salon to be greeted by Brian as my escort. “I hope you do not mind, but after this morning, I just needed you to be on my arm.” Later we found out that my escort got to escort Camellia (Cami), Rose, so he did not lose out at all.
We were introduced as Patricia Lea Landis and her escort Brian Lee Daniels III and pictures flashed and we were taken over to speak to some society reporters. “Mr. Daniels shared earlier that you went out of your way to draw his attention this morning. Was it your intention to get him to be your escort?”
“I am flattered that he was a gentleman and came to my aide, But he is old enough to be my older sister’s date an escort. I gather he is from a well-known family and when I come to know more, I may be in greater awe of this honor.”
“Where in New York City did you find such a lovely gown and would you mind telling us its rough cost? The gown does have a New York designer, but it was done for Carmen’s Fashion Boutique in Paramus, New Jersey, with alterations done with Carmen’s own supervision and work. The cost was plenty for a young woman like me but I suspect it’s modest by NYC standards.”
“There are so many beautiful young ladies enjoying the time of our lives tonight, most of us would just love to enjoy the evening without the pressure of competition or being judged.”
Brian is sweet and took my hand and broke off the pictures and discussion. The meal is fantastic though the servings were small. It was our third or fourth dance when I gazed up to Brian’s eyes that we first kissed.
I was glad that Katie used a lipstick that did not smear off easy. Brian had gotten a nice taste from my lips was worried that it was showing more than it did. I thought that was cute.
There were some 80 young women at the social and sometime during the second hour there began a competition. Seemingly I was among 25 selected; I was neither asked nor told what it was based on. I do not formally know many dances though through my family, school and Camp Rainbow I have been introduced to a few. My great advantage is Brian knows how to dance and leads very well.
Several hot looking girls did moves that would have been nearly impossible with my gown, and unknown to others with my limited ability. While I was kind of glad that I made the cut at 15, I'm kind of relieved when I did not make the final five. Seemingly the selection was near to be made when I raised my hand and asked, “Will we hear anything from the women you are selecting from?”
“She will get to speak right after she is selected,” was the statement.
Julie spoke up, “It may be a little late to measure her ability to speak or think for herself! I, for one, would like to know if she is yet taking a second or third language and what her interests are beyond dressing up. Does she have any humanitarian interests or political savvy?”
Her questions were in some ways unfair as she knew that Camellia could respond to all of what she asked very positively. Members from a group in the City tried to put Cami on the spot by suggesting she be first to be asked a question or two.
She was first asked if she could speak any other languages, “I have taken Spanish in Junior high and I will take German beginning this semester, but I already know it in part through our extended family.”
Then she was asked what nation was the biggest threat to the United States presently. “China as a nation might be technically the correct answer, but the biggest or most active threat is militant terrorism. I happen to think the biggest threat is the strength or weakness of democracy in Western Europe and the United States. Capitalism and its abuses to me threaten democracy from being strong and healthy. I am sorry that is not a simple answer but I think simple answers are part of the problem.”
There was a break and then it was decided that seemingly not enough amount of time was allocated for the selection of a debutante, but they would give recognition to selections made by reporters and society editors present this evening.
While Camellia Rose was given special recognition it was a very beautiful young lady from Upper Manhattan. Rumor had it that she was to be the runner-up but that she was a better speaker and had more exposure to the world.
Brian and I went for a walk. I tried to tell Brian he was out of my league and enough older that it would be a problem in socializing, “I am, not asking for a commitment nor offering myself exclusively to you. I would like to be able to date you if your mother would allow us to. Let’s give ourselves time,” Brian said holding his ground.
“Brian, why me, you probably could have most of the girls in your college?” His hands slipped down on my butt as I wrapped my arms around his neck and the kiss was warm, gentle but conveyed strong emotions.
He whispered, “It isn’t about what one can have; I fell for you this morning.”
I wanted Brian in the worse way as we made our way back to the ballroom. Cami came up with her escort Rick. They too had hit it off. I could tell that her gown had been off, but not sure why? “Go to the bathroom and have help taking off your gown; then if you want to make-out it doesn’t need to be known by everyone,” Cami suggested
“You think I want to make-out with him.”
“If you don’t you should wipe that look off your face and cool down with a few pieces of ice,” Cami. I took her by the hand and we went off talking. I was surprised that she knew my gaff could take a man. “If he goes up he should find your hymen intact, try to keep it that way.” She handed me a pack of lubricant on our way back to the guys and we stopped off at the restroom.
Brian was talking to my Mom who was to have been hidden away in the background. Then an NY Times Society Editor asked permission for our picture and visited with us for a short while. Brian wanted a few more dances, and then showed me a key to a room on the eighth floor.
A tape played in my head from my sister Susan, “You don’t have sex on the first date, even with promises of seeing each other again.”
“Brian, I am sorry, but it isn’t happening. I like you a lot but even if I knew you before it wouldn’t happen.”
Brian asked if we couldn’t at least go up to the room for about fifteen minutes, to which I was indignant. “So you wouldn’t mind saving a little face with your friends at my expense?” I called over Julie and shared my information. Julie had already been so invited and the three of us felt a need to inform others from Camp Rainbow.
Unfortunately, two of the campers had already been upstairs one swearing nothing happened, but the other girl said nothing. We figured we were all big enough to make decisions without consulting each other
Brian and I like most to the others closed out the night having a really good time. Brian wanted my cell number but I told him to write to me in care of the Camp instead that they would forward my mail for at least a month.
My feet were beginning to hurt so I lost the shoes, and the guys were spending more time talking their stuff, so I enjoyed the last half hour dancing with girls as a group and individuals. There was a girl Marcia from Manhattan who danced with me and asked about my attraction to other women. I acknowledge generally I wasn’t interested, “I can’t necessarily say the same about you.”
The last two dances were with Camp Rainbow girls, but Marcia and I found each other and shared information despite not knowing how we might ever meet again.
That night was long as we stayed up visiting about our salon experiences and going to the social. I was surprised that many others like me found the salon and the society ball as most enjoyable as opposed to the guys who escorted us.
The most impressive thing about the guys was to be with older guys. Except their wanting to bed us they accepted “no” better than younger guys. Several wondered if it was because inappropriate behaviors would be more easy to trace back to a specific guy.
Mom, Sharon, and other chaperones helped us to hang and store our dresses properly.
Wendy, a few others and I wore our swimsuits under our clothing for the trip back. Camp Rainbow and Camp Arrowhead had a swim completion during the afternoon and a dance as our final event Friday night.
The high school girls were holding their own in the competition but our age group got off to a bad start without us. I wasn’t planning on competing until when I saw Cafferty and another boy were swimming the 200 freestyle and I felt a tinge of payback. I told Wendy if she swam as well as she could, we could take first and second place and embarrass the guys a bit.
I knew Willy could beat Cafferty and was pretty sure I could. I knew that if Cafferty thought a girl would beat him he would fake a cramp. It was surprised shortly after our swim event started it might be me who came in second place ahead of Cafferty. Wendy was swimming a great race and I needed to concentrate on doing my best. While it seemed a photo finish to me there were no photos and Wendy was judged to have won.
Shortly after my race I put on some shorts and a top and went to get April. Mom had asked me to water the flowers of the Butterfly Sanctuary so I got April and staked her out nearby. It was nice to have something so mundane to do and April nearby to share the time with. I talked as though she could understand everything. My world as a girl had been Camp Rainbow and as Patti, I had much more to pack than Willy ever did.
I didn’t know how long she was there behind me, until Jenny said, “Hello Patti.” I had seen her plenty of times but we rarely said more than ‘hi’ in passing. “I feel for you, it’s going to be a big change but I think you will do really well if you try as hard as you did here.”
“Thanks, Jenny, I thank you for your sensitivity. It is really nice that you care. I am actually more afraid with the thought of leaving now than I was when I tried to pretend to be a girl.”
“Why would you be afraid, it now seems so natural to see you like a girl,” Jenny asks?
“Because you other girls are like a security blanket, when I made a mistake you would either giggle and then help or go out of your way to help me learn to be a better girl.”
“Could you stop watering the plants a minute so I can brush out your hair? It will get tangled and hard to brush soon if not attended to.” I could hear a number of voices in my head telling me about long hair. But it was nice to have Jenny brush it out, I don’t know where they came from but she used three hairpins as she caught the curls and style of my hairdo.
Jenny shared a quick synopsis of my time from Lisa’s accident on as a Rainbow camper. “You were small enough that you didn’t appear to be a special catch until Sharon introduced you as our own little ‘Barbie Boy’. Your character in staying there for Lisa and then showing some class as a would-be girl and trying to accept things in stride said a lot about you and brought us on as friends. … You made a big difference in helping Polly. Somewhere you stopped being Willy acting as Patti and became Patti growing as a girl. I really enjoyed our raid onto Camp Arrowhead and our surprise as they came onto our camp.”
Jenny and I visited and she lived close by in Bound Brook and I had played against her brother in baseball. We exchanged numbers and email and yes I already had a new email address [email protected] that I shared with her and you. I hope to hear from you if you enjoy my story.
I finished watering the flowers and Jenny accompanied me in taking April back to the stables. Then Jenny helped me to pack my stuff. She was amused by all the girl stuff I had. She grabbed two outfits as we were close enough to wear the same clothes. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the showers.
I felt more honored than afraid as the girls’ shower was one of the holy of holies that I did not intrude upon. We had separate shower stalls and I had a plastic cap to protect my hair. I was out drying off when Jenny snuck in and began to dry my back. I turned around wondering what I should do, but could only work up an indignant frown until it gave way to a smile and hug.
After dinner, I went to rest before the dance as I hoped to see Peter and Sam. I quickly fell into a deep sleep and was still sleeping when the dance started. Susan came to get me and had trouble waking me up. She shook me and finally woke me up. She didn’t mind if I went back to sleep by choice but did not want to hear me complain in the morning.
I had a great time at the dance but was sleepy enough that it went fast and I remembered little.
Mom woke me saying, “You need to get up, packed and say your tearful good-byes because we need to get to NYC and Dr. Christy so you can enjoy our vacation at the beach looking like a girl.” Even with the hurrying and much of my packing done, it was after 11 a.m. before we got going.
Being Patti made good-byes a lot longer than it would have been for Willy. There were hugs, words and tears as well as exchanging information and short notes. Even Susan was finished saying good-byes before me. I started to say, “Why does Susan need to…" and I stopped and changed, “Thanks Susan, it’s going to be important having you as my sister, especially today...”
To be continued at least one more chapter…
Dr. Christy was not your average doctor and what happened might be considered a healing or a miracle more than surgery…
“Don’t confuse religion and faith and presume you understand or think you’re a ‘saint’ assuming tends to be wrong, grace is more likely appropriate than judgment…
“Just be Patti and enjoy being a young woman…”
To be continued...
I appreciate your comments as well as your writing directly to me with thoughts and questions.
My appreciation for those who help to proof read or edit my writing; all mistakes that remain are those of the writer.
Willy/Patti had given her word to try and make his agreement work...
But he never expected this...
=^_^=
My Mom had made good time in getting to the city and New York Presbyterian Medical Center which is a short distance from the Washington Bridge. I was registered by 1:30 and in surgery by 2:00 pm. Dr. Christy visited with me shortly asking if I believed in angels and healing.
With that I went to sleep and was visited by an angel, “You are being blessed by God.” We talked quite a bit, as I asked if Dr. Christy knew her. “Every doctor and nurse can be part of God’s healing touch. But not all believe as she does. I encourage you not to confuse your faith with religion. The people you help, need for you to know the difference.”
I saw my male parts lifted off and discarded, but the bloody part did not last long. She did not use a scalpel much but seemed to use her hand, like one working with clay. “Is Dr. Christy and angel too,” I asked the angel? She replied, “That is a matter of faith, what do you believe?”
I could hear Doctor Christy comment that I was beautiful as she placed a sheet to cover the bandage and tube between my legs. She told Maria to follow me through post op and to get me back to a regular room as quickly as possible… I faded in and out, remembering next seeing Maria’s smiling face as I was in a bed moving down a hall. I felt her warm hand and her saying she would get my Mom and Susan.
Dr. Christy explained to Mom and Susan, “The medicine and hormones Patti has taken had found her female organs responsive to their stimulation and they seem to be growing on their own. It is way too early to tell if they will develop as functioning organs capable of reproduction, but Patricia should be respectful of her new body.”
She explains to my mother, “Her adjustment to being a girl will be quite a bit for her regardless. Should those organs function normally like she's a healthy young woman, it will be an even greater challenge.”
Susan giggled and spoke up, “She has already been doing quite well in acting like a girl, I don’t think it will be a big problem with her.”
Dr. Christy addresses Susan, “Susan you are an intelligent young woman and it will be important as an older sister that you understand. Her acting as a girl has probably been more of a challenge than Willy was willing to let on. Being a girl 24/7 the rest of her life will be more challenging than it was for you going from being a girl to a woman. Don’t be surprised if sometime she comes to you crying with nothing for you to fix or do other than be her sister.”
“Marie, as her mother, it won’t be easy for you either. You will see a young woman in Patti, but there will be little girls who know more about being a girl and are better adjusted to being so.”
Dr. Christy had left before I woke up, but I was delighted Mom and Susan were there. They had fun as I would wake up a little and began to talk then fall back asleep. They would assure me that things went well, “you’re a beautiful girl.” It was like I had just been born.
About the third time, Mom asks how I feel and she's amazed the pain is minimal. “Mom an angel said something special happened and I am a real girl!”
“What did he say Smarty,” Susan snidely asked?
“Well if an angel needs to be male or female, this one was a woman, Old Sister." I said, “She told me, she was an angel and God was blessing me for something special. She said all doctors and nurses can be part of God’s healing, but not all believe and are intentionally doing God’s work.”
“I think Dr. Christ is either an Angel too or a strong believer,” I added. “What do you think Mom?”
“Well, Dr. Christy did share the results are better than expected and that your female organs have already begun to develop. But she is not sure if they will function or not as a regular woman.”
“I know I am no one special but I think they will. You know I am a bit scared about being a girl, but this comforts me some. It is like God is saying it should happen.”
“Patti, you have not been the most churchy of my two children, are you trying to tell me it matters to you what God thinks of you?”
“Yes Mom, I was worried before the angel talked to me if God would love me; I was worried when you got back to church you would have second thoughts about me.”
Mom hugged me and I saw tears coming to her eyes as she did. “Yes, I wrestled with what God thought and what was the best thing for me as your mom to do. You know I take my faith and love for God seriously. I don’t think God’s love for you is just a warm feeling and the wishful thought of a mom. There is a Bible passage where God’s people were being told to unite in their love for Christ and not their own differences.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
Dr. Christy was back in and she removed my bandages and the beauty of a life was made visible. “I surgically removed your manhood, but the angel made your flesh like clay to be formed. Behold the beauty of your vagina that has been molded anew. But the organs inside are not clay, their making was already inside of you. Made by the leader of angels and author of your life, you are blessed with a future yet to be known. Stay tonight, you not only appear beautiful, but you will also be discovering the passions and feeling of being a woman, enjoy your new life.”
I got to eat a liquid dinner, as well as to stand and take a few steps. Susan untied my top to give me a washcloth bath. We were surprised to see my breast were now that of a young teen female my age. She touched a nipple to see if they were real, from the bumps that rose around my areolas to the feeling that came to life deeper inside. We were impressed.
Susan smiles, gave me a kiss and welcomed me as her sister. Mom and Susan both went home for the night and to have things ready for going on vacation the next day. It wouldn’t be until after vacation that we would move to our new home and April would be my horse. Now I could ride April at a full gallop and not worry about hurting my nuts.
Most nurses were surprised I felt like a walk, but being on the OB/GYN floor I was interested in walking to the nursery and seeing the newborn babies. There were 8 babies there and one nurse called me in, asking if I would be willing to bottle feed one of the babies.
I was excited to have the opportunity; the nurse handed me a baby boy and a four-ounce bottle. He was a hungry little guy and quickly was through half the bottle. I lifted him to my shoulder but paid the price for burping him without protection. It was not a mess but he did spit up enough for me to feel it through my top.
With him cleaned up, I gave him the rest of the bottle and he did well. Though I felt him mess up his diaper. Without asking I grabbed a diaper under his bassinette and began to change him. Not being an experienced babysitter, I was not ready as his diaper came off and he sprayed me. The nurses thanked me as well as laughed at my experience.
One of the nurses taught me the finer points of making sure he was clean and getting the diaper and then his sleeper on correctly. One nurse with a familiar voice said, “You’ll make a fine mother.” I looked at her again when I remembered it as the voice of the angel, but she was not there.
I walked past one room and heard a request of a patient asking if someone could sit with her. The nurse came out of the room saying it would be at least an hour before it would be possible. I asked if I could sit with her and the nurse instructed me what to watch for and what to do if a need arose.
The young woman was five months pregnant and having trouble as she was spotting. I asked about her baby and while the baby was unexpected it was very much wanted. The baby kicked and Shari placed my hand to feel the kick. As I felt the kick I let up a prayer and my hand and Shari felt warmth move through to the baby.
Nurses were in to check her every 3-5 minutes and within a half hour, they felt her crisis has passed. It had been thought that Shari could not get pregnant. She was tired of hearing, “She was lucky to be this far and should not get her hope up too far.”
I heard the voice say, “You have a mother’s heart and I hope that your joy sees a healthy girl born full term.” Shari told me she too had the feeling it would be a girl and now the glimmer of hope continued. She had fallen asleep by the time that the private-duty nurse arrived.
I too was happy and felt it a treat to be involved in this area of a woman's life. I was to allow my body time to heal and make the changes. With my hand just on the inside of my legs, I could feel a response that was much different. Even a light touch of my breasts caused a warm sensation, bumps formed around the aureoles and my nipples to swell a bit and become hard.
We were across the George Washington Bridge and traveling I-95, when I asked my Mom, “Mommy, when I see a girl’s nipples through her clothes does that always mean she is aroused by something?”
“That’s a good question and the kind of question I like you to ask when we have some privacy as now. No, there are a number of reasons: it could just mean that the fabric is sheer or thin enough that their form shows through; some women have nipples that just naturally have enough form and substance to them that they tend to show more. Clothing like a wet tee shirt, a swimsuit without extra fabric or padding and some clothes without a bra being worn might be some other reasons. There are other reasons that it might happen.”
“I saw a nurse who often had extended nipples why would that be?”
On an OB floor, it could be that she was recently handling a baby; some babies are quick in learning to reach for a breast and it doesn’t have to belong to their mommy. It could have meant that she was finding you or someone attractive.”
“But I am not any longer a boy.”
Mom says, “Well you may not have stopped being attracted to some women?”
Well, that is just because there hasn’t been very much time since I was a boy and it is just out of habit.”
Mom asks, “How might you feel say in 3-5 months or a year from now; maybe you will still be attracted to Julie or Cami?”
“I am not a lesbian Mom.”
“Dr. Christy says there is a good possibility that you will have some lesbian tendencies at least for a while and maybe forever.”
I say, “That sounds like a bad thing, not a good possibility.”
“You mean your prejudice against those you know who are lesbian or gay? As much as I loved your father, there are things that I find attractive about other women. I feel bad that you could so easily judge people like that.”
I remember someone says, “Brenda at Camp is a lesbian and she is a friend.”
“So if you come to know them it is alright that they are lesbian or gay? What if one of my friends was gay and they stayed with us at the beach house?”
Susan chimed in, “Mom, I think you should take it out of the theoretical and help to bring it home of Patti!”
There was silence and then Mom pulled the car to the side of the road. All three of us got out and walked to a spot we could sit down. “Patti, Susan discovered early last spring that my friend Kris and I are more than good friends. As I told her I will tell you; your Father was one of the only men I ever had feelings for. I loved him as much as he loved me. But I always have had a stronger attraction to women and after your father died I tried hard to stay out of being in love.”
I'm surprised, “Mom, you’re telling me you are in love with Kris and that you are a lesbian. I am trans…”
“Yes, and more, we and others like us are neat beautiful people. Kris will be spending some time with us at the beach. She will either come up tomorrow or Tuesday. I am not asking you to become a radical feminist, but your life has changed; your thinking and speech should reflect that. I do not want Kris’s feelings hurt because of your insensitivity.”
“Wow, Mom my world is changing quite a bit.” We were shortly back on the road when I asked her “How old were you when you first realized you liked other girls?”
“I was nine and a half and I was to a birthday party. We were playing spin the bottle when a girl spun the bottle and it pointed at me. When I spun the bottle at it pointed at Jeff. I was surprised that I like the girl kissing me better. I was twelve when my body began to change and girls caused me to get more excited than the boys I was interested in. But it would be a long time before I accepted how I felt and thought.”
I asked, “So how come you got interested in international business?”
Mom says, “Because others told me a girl couldn’t do it. It wasn’t until graduate school and your Dad believed in me that I felt any encouragement from a man other than my Father.”
Susan asked, “What was special about Dad that excited you and caused you two to fall in love? Aunt Shelia once told me it was because Dad had three sisters.”
“I heard that too but I have never talked to her about what she meant. Your Dad and I kind of agreed with her; I think having sisters made him more sensitive, sometimes I swear he thought more like a female.”
“What do you mean by that” Susan asked? “I bet you had him love you as another woman.”
“We are not going to go there, young lady… He not only noticed small things and complimented me like women are more likely to do. He was willing to grow in our relationship, where most men are goal or conquest oriented.”
I say, “My biggest goals were to see pass a subject, pull something off without getting caught and being able to get my way out of trouble or into what I wanted.”
Susan said, “You ended up in Mr. Brokaw’s office quite a bit. And at Camp Rainbow, you met your Waterloo.”
“Vice Principal Brokaw wanted my hide, he even followed me to the High School to get it, but the one time he got me good. The first time it wasn’t me and the second time Dan got hurt and I stopped to help him.
”At Camp Rainbow, Lisa got hurt and I needed to help; and getting caught was probably the best thing that happened to me. I really thought I would get away at the platform. Sharon anticipated me trying to dive deep and go under the platform.”
We arrive at the shore community where we would be staying, and the address put us on the road next to the beach and the odd number meant it was on the beach side. It was not the first time we stay near the ocean for a week of vacation. But never this close, our bungalow was more spacious than many. It was clean and all the appliances including the AC worked well.
“Which room do you want Susan?”
“Let’s room together until Lisa and Julie come on Thursday; I want to get used to having a little sis. I really would like to have some time with you.”
It was interesting to open a suitcase and find the girl clothes packed for me. I said, “Susan must have your suitcase this one has short shorts, strapped tops and short wrap around skirts.”
“Guess again Squirt, wear them and learn to enjoy them. Your wardrobe will take on your taste in time but you need to try things to find out what you like and what looks good on you.” Susan came over and showed me how to hang some of my clothes and how to fold and keep other clothes. Learning to hand wash panties and other delicate things would also one of my lessons.
Both of us were surprised that Mom led the making of the Butterfly Sanctuary and realized that since our Dad’s death we were seeing new parts of her, i.e., her love of plants and nature. It was interesting while we were both surprised to learn Mom loved Kris in a romantic way neither of us was put-off by it. We like Kris and knew their friendship was good for the two of them.
Susan had started on this journey before camp and then I make a snafu and I end up at Camp Rainbow donning girls’ clothing as my discipline. Then more and more I take on the persona of becoming Patti. Both of us wondered how we would now be doing if we did not go through it step by step. I knew I was rattled taking it as it came. Doing so was probably the only way it became such an appositive experience for me.
The bungalow is a nice three bedroom house and not a cramped place as we anticipated. Mom surprised us with a quick change and perishables put away. She was in the room ready to go to the beach. Susan and I both let our jaws dropped as neither of us realized how good Mom was looking. She smiled as we took it in. We’ve had over two weeks with her but we were wrapped up in our world and hadn’t noticed.
We pull out our swimsuits and are changing as we ask about the weight she lost and the shape she's in. “I wore bulkier clothes on purpose, but I was surprised you did not catch on as I was more active.”
I was slipping on the bottom of my suit as it hit me “I am a girl and I am changing with my sister in front of my Mom… Mommy looks at me, "I’m a girl getting ready for the beach in front of you two.” Mom and Susan both are giggling at me.
“Mom did you do this to impress Kris,” Susan asked?
Mom smiled, “Patti was as important as anyone in keeping me on track. Yes, dating again and Kris has me thinking about how I look and wanting to take better care of myself.” Having our suits on and picking up towels we both give Mom a big hug.
“I bet someone asks if Mom is our Aunt?”
Susan asked, “And why would they do that?”
“Look at her someone is going to think she is too young to be our mom,” I said. We soon had a bet between us.
Mom asks, “Which of you is going to have the first guy visiting with her?”
I thought it was no contest, certainly, it would be Susan since she was the true girl and pretty at that. I have a top and shorts on as we place our blanket and beach bags down. I start to get down to my swimsuit.
Mom and Susan had stopped and are watching me as are a group of guys nearby. I hadn’t noticed as I was taking off my shorts a camera went off. “What was that for,” I asked?
“I will show you later.” Mom moved a little as I took off my top and shortly after I heard the camera click pictures again. This time I looked up and realized they hadn’t even begun to take their clothes off.
“What’s up,” I ask? Mom calls me over and shows me the pictures. Each time I look at a picture, I then raise my head to look at the guys that were in the background. “Mom, were you encouraging that?”
Susan laughs, “No you were; you were a little exhibitionist shaking your bottom as you took your shorts off.”
“I didn’t do that Susan, don’t tease me. Mom tells her not to tease me.”
I look at Mom as she did not immediately say anything. Susan looks at Mom, “Mom are you going to answer her?” We both look at Mom for her answer.
“Patti, you have a cute little bottom wiggle.” I started to turn red as I was embarrassed. Mom spoke up, “Would any of you guys mind helping her with some sunblock for her back?” I was embarrassed again, but it wasn’t over. “Patti, here” she tosses me a tube, “There are three volunteers, choose which one is to help you.”
I'm surprised when I looked and without much thought ask the guy in the middle if he would help me. I took some sunblock to do my front and hand him the tube. He introduces himself his name is Roger. I would guess he's a year or two older than me. I took to looking at Susan as I applied the lotion, and gather she too found him attractive.
Roger starts with my shoulders and it felt nice, both the attention and his hands on my shoulders. I lifted my hair and collect it into a ponytail as he spreads some lotion on my neck. He has a nice light touch using his fingertips. He's continuing down my back. It is distracting as I try to remember what I was doing.
“Would you mind lightly lifting my straps and putting some lotion under them,” I said? “If the straps should shift I wouldn't want to get a sunburn there.” He said yes and as I looked to Mom, I gathered that might not be a thing a girl regularly asked a guy to do. My experience was from Camp Rainbow and there we had another camper do it.
He continues below my top to the top of my bottom and I could sense him hoping I would ask him to a little more in case my suit would shift. I had missed the enjoyment of doing the tops of my breasts. I turn around and thank him, “Thanks Roger you're a dear and good help. I was rude forgetting to introduce myself. I am Patti, this is my sister Susan and this is Marie.”
Roger said hello and then asked me, “Is Marie a cousin or an aunt.”
I giggle and say to him, “I kind of set you up this is my mother.”
“I am sorry but you look too young to have two girls in high school,” Roger says apologetically.
I say, “It’s okay Roger as long as you do not ask her out. My sister owes me big time so I want to thank you for asking.”
“Would you mind if I went down to the water with you when you are ready or we walk down the beach if you rather?” Roger noticed a change of expression with each of us, “I’m sorry to be forward, but there are enough guys around I didn’t want to lose out for waiting. I guess I blew it.”
Roger turned to walk away when I spoke up. “You weren’t rude actually you have refreshing manners and openness. You’re one of the nicest guys to treat me like I would wish.”
“That is a nice compliment in light of the attention guys must give you,” he said. Susan was taking a drink of water and choked with the statement.
“She’s the one who usually gets all the attention; I think she found your words a little hard to swallow.” With that, I heard Mom break out with a laugh.
I say, “I would like some time with my family and sunbathing if you don’t mind. But a walk down the beach or on the boardwalk would be nice a bit later. Would you mind?” I was ready to lie down when Mom suggests I still need to put sunblock around the bottom of my suit.
Susan says she's going to go in the water first and Mom decides to go with her. “What happens if I fall to sleep with no one here?”
“Lie on your stomach and read a girl’s magazine and then roll onto your back when you should; we should be back in time that you should be okay,” Susan suggests. With that, they went to the ocean and more than a few guys decided to do the same.
I find an article on changing periods that I find interesting and news to me. I'm ready to roll over and I look and there is Roger. There were two other guys there, but Roger is lying alone and is not in their discussion. I ask if he was ready to walk the beach. He smiles and gets to his feet.
I ask, “Would it be okay if we jumped into the water before we start walking the beach.” He grabs my hand and he asks if I liked diving into waves. I smile and we begin to slowly run. We pause and point out to a wave we agree upon. Holding hands we trotted as the wave approached and without a cue or sound we drop hands and each made our dives into the wave.
I came to the surface experiencing new areas in which I am now collecting sand. Paddling my feet below me, I give the sand a chance to drop out of the bottom of my top. Roger swims over to me placing one hand on my hip. It had both firmness and tender feeling to it. I put one hand on his shoulder and wrap my fingers around the base of his neck. We swim in toward the beach until I can stand and we walk out together.
We walk toward a jetty of large boulders extended out into the ocean. It is a good walk and we climb and find a nice boulder to sit on. It allows us to watch boats coming in and going out of the inlet. On the eastern horizon, we see ships coming and going to and from international ports in New York and New Jersey.
We talk and I find out Roger was some 30 miles from where I lived and he has a nice balance of scholar, athlete, and musician. He's sixteen soon to turn seventeen and to get his driver’s license.
Roger is impressed that I'm getting my horse April as well as a new home. We figure the new house would be about 5 miles closer to where he lives near Netcong. My good feelings are changing as I realize he's looking more and more at my boobs as we talk. I suggest it is time to walk back, but he says he wants to sit a little longer. “Fine, but I am heading back now.”
Roger asked, “Did I say or do anything to offend you?”
“You have been talking to my boobs the last few minutes, and I have become uncomfortable with that.”
He apologizes and asks if he could walk me back to the blanket. When we get there he apologizes again, “I’m sorry and I will leave you alone, I won’t bother you again.”
“I accept your apology. I am not asking to be left alone but to be treated with respect. If that's all you are interested in, maybe you are right.”
“I will leave you alone for a while, but if you are open to it I have an idea for later. I could see if one of the guys would be happy to ask your sister to go with us up to the boardwalk. Do you like miniature golf or the arcade area?”
“That sounds like a nice idea, but Susan thinks for herself so the guy better is good looking and sharp.” I see Mom and Susan coming back to our blanket. I quickly get up, greet Mom and take Susan with being back to the water.
“Susan, a friend of Roger’s is going to ask you to go on the boardwalk with us, please say yes as I want to go, but I am scared to go alone. You know what to do and I need your help.”
Susan giggles, “I could go for that idea if the guy is right, but it doesn’t look like you need any help. I am sure we will have plenty of sister spats, but I want to say you are a very very pretty girl. I will usually like helping you if you want me.”
I gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Patti, we are in public, cool it.”
“You mean you don’t want to be seen as my girlfriend.” She swatted me on my behind and a lifeguard blew a whistle and called us over.
“We don’t know if you are just trying to get the attention of some guys or two girlfriends, but no inappropriate behavior like ‘butt spanking’. Do we have an understanding or do we need to ask you off of the beach,” said the woman lifeguard. There was both a male and female lifeguard.
“Sorry, but this is my sister and she was trying to embarrass me in public,” Susan said.
“You were the one to swat her butt so what did she do that was more embarrassing,” Julie the lifeguard asked.
“She gave me a hug and a kiss in front of everyone; they’re going to think we are a couple.”
Julie responded, “My girlfriend and I aren’t usually that affectionate in public. I am sorry that you are offended if someone thought she might be your girlfriend. But then you find swatting her behind as less offensive, that is a bit more offensive to me.”
Susan apologizes and I knew she wanted to say ‘our Mom is a lesbian’ to not look so bad but she resisted. I thanked Julie and we ask to receive permission to get back to the water. We talked after we got into the water. Susan found the male lifeguard to be cute, but we both liked Julie and were wondering if she really was lesbian. I ask, “I wonder what Mom would say if we both dated and had girlfriends?”
Despite the water being a cool 69 degrees F, I was feeling warm and tingly about our talk and Julie in particular. I talk about it with Mom later and she reminds me I need to give myself time. “Realize as the doctor said it is going to take some time for you to adjust to really being a woman. It will be months or longer before you better discern what is Willy and how you are feeling and responding as Patti a young woman?”
Mom says, “It is not readily visible if Julie or I am lesbian. I am sorry if my revelation has caused you some confusion about yourselves or causes you to see your actions in a new light. Then again, I am not sorry, but glad for you.”
We look at each other to the realization our world is changing even more than we thought. It is a bit later and a sandy-blonde guy, Steve, came over and asks Susan if he could talk with her. Susan came back asking Mom if the four of us could go up to the boardwalk with the guys.
Mom says we need to help her to take things to be beach house and then we could have two hours with the guys. Steve suggests he and Roger could help if we didn’t mind. Mom says it isn’t needed and gave them our address and suggests they come by in 45-60 minutes.
When we got back to the house Susan said we could either quickly shower and change or put on our wraparounds and a light top. The first would be a bit more comfortable but would lose the beach look. We decide together to go with the wraparounds. It's not until I pull mine out that I realize how short the skirt is.
“Don’t worry Patti about how short it is; I am sure you will soon find it in your favor for the right times such as this.” It's a pretty powder yellow making it easy to tell when a brighter bottom is showing through. I find a cut-off T that left a good gap between the top and skirt.
Susan encourages me to wear my sandals with the 2 ½” heel saying “It gives your legs a better look, plus they're screaming girl.” Mom commented back as she looks in to check us out, “I don’t think Roger needs her shouting girl any louder. I am seriously considering getting a German shepherd to escort you girls and keep you safe.”
“Really Mom,” we said together. It is sometimes hard to tell when she is serious or joking.
I said, “That would be a good guy magnet as well as protection. It would be good to have her with me when riding April in the woods.” I could see if Mom was thinking of the idea. She went back to a newspaper looking for something.
Roger and Steve are soon there and we walk down to the boardwalk as a group. Steve asks Susan if it's okay to hold her hand and soon they are. I held out my hand and Roger son took hold of mine. Not only is he two years older, but he is also more of a guy then I had been. I could feel my hand is that of a girl and his that of a larger, stronger boy.
One time we play an arcade game and he wins a medium teddy bear that he gave to me. I give him a hug as well as a kiss on the cheek. As we hug I could smell what I never noticed before, the smell of boy. Some of it was from the ocean, sweat and whatever he used as a deodorant or aftershave, I am not sure but I like it. Part of me is still saying I shouldn't and I am upset with myself.
We have enough time so we started a round of miniature golf. Even such a simple game and I find I'm different it is easier to aim and focus. Roger hugs me or squeezes my hand each time I made par or beat it which is about every hole. Roger did very well on most holes but bogeyed or double bogeyed on two others. His ego is on the line until I just hug him and we drop out of the game.
“Roger it’s just our first time out and this is just a game. I would rather walk the beach or just sit.”
He says, “I don’t do well with being patient; I think it is a guy thing I doubt if you would understand.”
I smirked, then I remember something I heard Susan say, “Girls live in a guy’s world all the time, you will do well to learn.”
Roger is puzzled, “Are you suggesting I try to be a girl?”
“I'm suggesting,” I said, “for you to be patient, but being a girl would be a good start.” I pause and eyed him and said, “I dare say you could make a nice girl.”
Roger says, “Are you making fun of me?”
“Not unless you think being a girl would be a put-down. Maybe you shouldn't be walking me home as I am one of them.”
Roger realizes he's sinking in quicksand, “I am sorry, I have put my foot in my mouth and that is what I was afraid of.”
“Roger being afraid of someone's being tough when trying to be a friend. Being a friend will get you to first base and trying to hit a home run with a girl at the shore quickly will likely result in a quick out.”
“Would you happy if all I hit is single?”
“All I am comfortable with right now to be a friend, but for me with a guy like you is special enough.” Before he realizes it we're back to my house. Roger wants a big kiss but I cut him off. “Close your eyes and relax… Now feel my hips but don’t get too friendly.” I lightly kissed him on the lips. “Open your eyes, now how does it feel to be on first base.”
“I wanted to do more,” he said. “I didn’t know a single could feel that good.”
I said thanks and went into the house and Susan's home a little later. She too had a good time. Mom had gone shopping and fixes dinner while Susan and I shower and change. Susan says I would do well to just keep my hair simple except for something special.
Mom begins talking about school. The idea is I could go to another school where I would be new and people didn’t know me. “Whether I go to my old school or another school; people who know Susan will figure it out eventually. I don’t want to wait and be afraid of when people to figure out who I am. I know I’m different but I don’t want to act like I am ashamed.”
“So whether you go to Mountainside or with Susan you want to just be you.”
“Yes Mom, I think some kids will accept things, others won’t and most won’t even care.”
Susan agrees, “Trying to keep it a secret will make us look like we are ashamed and have more we are hiding. I agree with Patti that we just live with Patti is who she is. We need to accept that for ourselves.”
We talked some more and decided to wait on any decision until we were close to going home.
The three of us walk up to the boardwalk. The boardwalk at this beach comes to life at night and since it is warm and humid I wore a mini-skirt and a pink top, but my bra is getting tighter. “Mom, I am already getting fat and I didn’t eat much.”
Mom giggles, “Patti you’re not gaining weight, but you will experience that as a girl your body is in transition. Your breasts are growing and in time so will your hips while your waist and weight might actually get smaller.”
“Unfortunately it means you better learn to enjoy shopping because you are going to have to do it even if you don’t like it." Mom and Susan are both smiling as they know I'm adjusting well to that part of being a girl.
We enjoy a good night on the boardwalk. Susan and I giggle as our Mom turns as many eyes as we do. One married man even pushed himself upon our mom in front of his wife, saying he wished she was as beautiful. Mom slaps the man for his advance and addresses his wife, “I am sorry Miss as I find you are plenty beautiful” and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
The crowd laughs and when the husband tries to pull his wife away, she too slaps him and asks him to leave. The police are present and he left quietly. Mom calmed Ms. Parker down and sat with her as Marsha is both embarrassed by what her husband said to her and ashamed on how he behaved.
“Susan and Patti go have a good time and give us 20-30 minutes.” We walk aways down and we stop to listen to one of the boardwalk musicians; she's a lot better than the average. She's singing a blend of pop, retro rock, and contemporary Christian crossover music. I carefully sit down in my mini-skirt to listen and she smiles.
She has a Stevie Nicks sound that I like and she sang one of Nick’s songs with Fleetwood Mac. I check my purse and place three dollars into her guitar case. I wasn’t the first but it reminds others to give as well.
She soft peddles her faith, yet shares her name “Tea” was inspired by a man of one faith and background to help the education of girls from a different faith and nation. I knew the book “Three Cups of Tea”, my Mom had insisted Susan and I read it two years earlier. She, I and a small group of other talks when she takes a break to rest her voice and drink some fluids.
She shares her name was Tala which meant ‘stalking wolf’; I look at her features and can see she's at least partially Native American. I ask if she was born in New Jersey and did she know early settlers of the state had a poor history on how they treated the Native Americans.
Tala said, “Yes, I know our peoples' history, I am from the Munsee Delaware nation and I was born and grew up in Ohio. My great ancestors, however, lived here and fished the river and the great water.”
She needed to be singing again but she gave me her cell # and told me she was staying in the area. When I ask where she is staying she just responded here and there. Either she did not want to share or she was making do with whatever she found.
When she starts to sing again it is past time for Susan and me to get back to Mom. When we got back to her there 's a small group of people around them. Marsha had revealed she and her family had been abused, so officials were now present to help her and to get her children to a secure shelter.
Officials warned my mother that she too needed to be extra cautious for a day or two in case Marsha’s husband would retaliate against her. Mom smiles and says she's a Jersey girl and knew reality. The officers and Marsha thank Mom for staying with Marsha and calling for help.
After they left Susan and I told Mom about Tala and we went to hear her again. Tala was on her last break for the night, so my mother asks her about where she is staying and tells about the place we had. Tala said, “I am grateful for the offer but I do not want to be obligated. To be truthful, I am a bit suspicious of people who would open their doors so readily. It is contrary to what I hear.”
“The truth is, it is contrary to how we regularly act, but since both my daughters like you and consider you a good risk, so do I. I would just ask that you not leave before we are up and to be back to the house before 1 in the morning or have called. We will not be offended if you turn us down, but the offer is genuine and still there.”
She asked to be with us for a bit before she decided. She asks about what our dad and husband would say and mom explains. “Come tomorrow I will have a friend and stay with me,” my Mom said, “Thursday my friend will leave and three others will be with us.”
Tala decides to stay with us but to take it day by day. Tala is 20 and a student at Rutgers, but on her own during the summer. Susan went with her to her car and to show her where we live. We settle back in for the night but stay up to visit.
Tala enjoys a good shower and she is even more beautiful after she is cleaned up. Susan and I had changed into our night camisoles and shorts. Tala was in her bra, panties and jean shorts not fully fastened.
Susan has a message: “Lisa was coming tomorrow. And she wants to know if she is safe, not to be harmed by Patti.” We laugh and have to explain to Tala. Susan gave her the Reader’s Digest version. We could see the puzzled look grow on Tala’s face. She looks down at her shorts trying to decide if she needed to close them up.
Tala looks at me, “Patti, I need to know you as a human being. I don’t know how to say it, but what can we do together that could help me to relate to you.” I smiled but I felt uncomfortable inside.
“Tala, if it’s going to work it needs to be a two-way street. I could use your help in singing better, but I would like to learn songs from your nation as well.” Tala smiles saying, “I like that idea.”
Mom went to bed but the three of us stayed up. Tala shares she's a sociology and history major. She enjoys music and is interested in becoming professional, but only if she could make a good living and enjoy it.
Susan and Tala continue to talk, but I'm going to bed after I say goodnight to Mom. Mom is finished her shower and putting up her hair and ready to care for her skin. “I am sorry Mom, I will just excuse myself and see you in the morning.”
Mom smiles and says, “Sit and visit it is a special time for a mom and daughter. I have enjoyed plenty of times with Susan; I have actually been looking forward to times with my new daughter.”
I say, “I use to be jealous of Susan and angry that I didn’t have such times with Dad or you. …Can I change the subject and ask about tonight? …Were you attracted to Marsha or did you kiss her just to irritate her husband after he was so rude? I don’t mean to be rude but I didn’t…”
“Good question young lady, it was the latter and no I am not attracted to all women, actually not that many. I do like being around women more but not exclusively.” Mom changed into her nightgown and sat down on the bed with me.
“Mom, will I like Susan have characteristics like you as I continue to develop as your daughter?”
“What do you think? What characteristics do you hope to have or develop?”
“Susan and I are not the same, yet she is developing well like you and I wouldn’t mind that either.”
“Do you mean by that my breasts?”
“I am hoping I could have your whole figure, but yes, Susan’s breasts are better developed than many of the girls in her class. I didn’t notice that it is something Lisa said at camp. Actually, I am hoping that it is not too late for my legs to grow a little longer.”
“Mom, could you give me a manicure as you do for Susan sometime?”
“Thank you for bringing it up, sit down and we will do it now. I noticed your nails and a good manicure would be my pleasure. …Now as we do your nails, let me ask what you like about Tala? You have more than a passing interest, is it puppy love or are you really interested in her?”
“Mom, I like her singing and her faith; yes she is an attractive young woman, but I am shocked you would say what you did?”
“Patti, you took a shower, but I can tell you are aroused. I don’t mean to embarrass you, but Tala noticed it and I was not sure if you did.” Mom was correct I didn't realize it, but it was Willy who was excited about her.
“Mom, you’re right I didn't realize it; Patti wasn't excited, it was as Willy that I was attracted by her. It gets me back to the idea of school. Part of me is afraid that after people know the only close friends I’ll have will be lesbians and gay guys. I think I will be okay with them being my friends but I want boyfriends and girlfriends I can just talk too.”
Mom gave me a hug and said, “That is the kind of healthy talk and conversation I want to get into with you. …There is a whole range of things like personal hygiene and fashion. Many of those life lesson moments you had at camp are good starting points for a deeper conversation with me and your new girlfriends.” It was long, we hugged and I went to bed.
I didn't quickly fall asleep as my mind was racing, the idea of dating boys excites me, but there is this girl Darla that turns me on and she’s lesbian. As I thought of dating her I could feel the warm dampness return as well as my scent. With that, I calmly fell asleep anticipating the future.