Plus ça Change By Kozmik Alaska

A dull nagging rain painted the background for a much more tumultuous storm that taking place on a car on the Vancouver SkyTrain. Its sole occupants where two women, both around their mid twenties, knee deep in a heated argument.
"It just doesn't work any more, why can't you see that"
"But, Casey, I can change, honest I can"
Casey shook her head and laughed. "You just don't get it anymore"
"Get what?" Kathy asked.
"Get what? Get what!" Casey blurted out. "How about the fact that I don't love you anymore."
That bit cut through Kathy like a knife.
Kathy shook her head in disbelief. "Please, don't say that. If I did something wrong..."
Casey charged forward in the verbal battle. "Everything is wrong. You can't change the way you are. You cut off your dick to become a woman yet you still act like a man, there, now do you understand. You're nothing but a fucking man in dress."
The train pulled into Granville station.
Casey stood up to get off the train. Kathy reached out to grab her, but Casey broke loose "Just .. leave .. me .. alone! Fuck off and die!" she shouted.
And with that, she was gone out into the fog and dark damp night.
Kathy attempted to run after her, but the doors of the car slammed shut before she could react. She pounded against the door with her fist as the tears welled in her eyes. "No no oh please no"
Kathy got off at Burrard Street and walked slowly and unsteadily back to her apartment her stomach churning. The rains soaked her to the skin. Once inside she didn't even dry off. Kathy simply threw herself face down on the bed, the bed that she had shared so many times with Casey.
As she lay there crying, all the disappointments in her life came flooding back to her. As a male to female transsexual she faced the fact that her family back in Charlottetown PEI had abandoned her when she came out. They hit her with the they lame excuse "If you where gay we could understand. But this .. but this .. you like girls"
Fact was, she still did, even after she had transitioned. Having lost the love of her family, she clung the love of the first woman she had hooked up with post transition. And now that love had ended.
Those words -- you're still a man in a dress burned in her memory and anger welled replacing the tears. Kathy glanced over at photo of Casey on the nightstand
"A man in a dress! A man in a dress! I'll give you a man in a dress" she shouted at it before throwing in at the wall.
A shard of glass ricocheted back at her cut her hand. Wincing in pain she walked to the bathroom and began rinsing the blood away, the wound burning.
She returned to the bedroom and stared at the glass and smashed picture frame on the carpet. "I guess I should clean up this frigging mess," she thought.
Kathy went out to the kitchen to get a box in which to place the broken glass. As she dug around in the kitchen for a box she noticed a full bottle of rum. She grabbed the bottle and banged in on the kitchen counter. Kathy filled a glass with ice and then added several millilitres of rum before topping it off with a splash of diet coke.
'Fuck you Casey' she said as she took a big gulp.
She placed the bottle of run and the 2-litre diet coke in the box. Taking another big swallow of her drink she went back to bedroom and sat on the floor. Kathy set the booze bottle and pop on the nightstand. Between sobs she began to pick up the glass. Every so often she took a gulp of her drink.
"I am going to get so goddam drunk." She sobbed. "I deserve it"
After tossing all the glass and the frame in the box, she picked up the picture of Casey. Staring at it, anger grew in side of her and those words 'man in a dress' began to re-echo. Her drink glass was empty and she turned to refill it. In reaching for the diet coke, she knocked it off the stand dumping it over the carpet. All was left was the rum, so she unscrewed the cap and raised the bottle to her lips. Kathy took a good strong drink of straight rum, the booze burning as it passed through her.
She began to feel emboldened, and dug in the drawer of nightstand then pulled out a pair of scissors. She grabbed the rum bottle, Casey's picture, and the scissors and stood over the toilet. "To hell with you" she said as she began cutting the picture into small pieces, letting each flutter into the toilet bowl.
She flushed the toilet and the confetti that was Casey's picture went swirling away. Kathy tossed the scissors on he vanity and then picked up the bottle for another drink.
She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was mess, and her mascara had run in streaks down her face.
"Don't I just look so goddam fucking feminine" she spat, an evil laugh enveloping her words.
Grabbing the scissors she began chopping at her long black hair. Big clumps fell to the floor as she haphazardly hacked away in a blind rage. It was only after several minutes of copping that Kathy realised what she doing. The sight shocked her and she grabbed her rum bottle and ran back to bedroom. She threw herself on the bed, splashing rum everywhere. Now everything was ruined. Kathy continued drinking until she passed out, the rum bottle at her side. It tipped over and saturated the bed, but Kathy was too far gone to notice or even care.
At 7 AM the sun came streaming in her bedroom and lit up a world of tweeting birds and the sound of the city. Kathy's eyes fluttered open and the sunlight seared them like hot pokers. Her head was pounding. She didn't feel like moving but a heaving in her gut propelled her to the bathroom.
Recovering from being sick, she saw the hair all over the floor and then looked at herself.
"What have I done, what have I done" she cried.
Her hairstyle resembled the hack job of a 4 year old.
She surveyed the bedroom and the damage of the broken glass and picture frame, a stain of diet coke, and the alcohol soaked bed. It all started to flood back to her, the arguments, the break-up, last night.
And now she had to carry on. But how could she.
Kathy went to the kitchen and put on the kettle for some coffee. She made a cup of extra strong coffee and settled into a chair in the living room. The coffee did seem to have some effect in at least waking her up. Kathy reached into her purse and pulled out her compact and a hairbrush. She began trying to rearrange her mop into something, anything resembling a half decent hairstyle. But it was no use.
"I've really done it up good now" she thought as she tossed the brush and mirror on the coffee table.
She had to do something, but wasn't sure what to do. As life began to return to her alcohol ravaged body and she tried to make sense of the situation. She didn't seem to fit anywhere anymore. Not in the gay community, not in the trans community, and certainly not in the straight community. It felt like this when she was growing up. A boy in the wrong skin. A skin that didn't feel quite right. She had grown up not feeling like a boy. She didn't just want to be a girl, she needed to be one.
Having lost the love of the woman in her life, all the pain and anguish now seemed almost worthless. As the caffeine began to rejuvenate her body, the fuzzies continued to clear from her mind.
Kathy sighed. "Feeling sorry for myself just isn't going to cut it. I've got to go on. I've got to move on. I can't, no I won't let her get the best of me. Starting today, I live for me"
Kathy finished her coffee and showered, washing the scunginess of the night from her body. She pulled on a pair of the most feminine panties she owned and the bra that matched. They were a delicate diaphanous set in smoky grey. But even the uber-femininity of her lingerie did nothing to counter the devastation she had inflicted on her hair.
"What a friggin' mess" she swore as she tried to hide it with a baseball cap.
Kathy dressed in pair of jeans and frumpy sweatshirt. Frumpy, that's how I feel as she headed out to Vancouver's gay district, Davie Village. She stopped to glance at the headlines in the Vancouver Sun - Coroner DaVinci Faces New Foe in Run for Police Chief. She bought a paper and continued along Davie Street to Curl Up and Dye-ke to see if they could fix the dishevelled mess under her baseball cap.
Rachel Simmons greeted her as she entered the shop.
"Be right with you"
Kathy took a seat and thumbed through the paper.
"What can I do for you? Wait, Kathy is that you! What the hell happened to your hair?" Rachel exclaimed
"In short, Casey and I had a fight last night and she walked out on me. I got drunk and well.. "
"Damn!"
"Can you fix it?" Kathy asked as she took off the baseball cap
"I can't say that you're first girl that I've had heard of who did a number on herself when her girlfriend left her, but I must admit that you really did it up good!"
"You know me, everything in moderation - NOT"
Rachel reached over and tilted Kathy's head. "Well, whatever I do, it's going to come out rather butch."
"Hmmm, well, Casey said that I was nothing more than a man in a dress, so I guess that's what it will have to be"
Rachel led Kathy over to one of the chairs in the shop "Lets get started, shall we"
The clippers whirred and buzzed. The sound reminded her of a time back 10 years to her life as a teenage boy when her parents forced a buzzcut on her as a punishment for being such an effeminate boy. The devastating effect of that haircut had the boy she had masqueraded as in tears, yet soon would have the opposite effect as it only strengthened her resolve to continue on the path to the wholeness of being the girl she needed to be. Now it became the cornerstone of her re-construction. Kathy shivered as she felt the cold metal of the clippers against the back of her neck.
When Rachel finished she handed a mirror to Kathy. The image that she saw was one that she hadn't seen in years. The façade of the boy that had existed before she began the formal path of female hormones to surgery looked back. Yet there was a certain difference that she couldn't put her finger on. He had a clean-cut fresh look, straight out of the boy's locker-room fresh, yet intertwined with certain femininity.
"This is the best I can do. Meet Kathy, the butch boi" Rachel said.
"Would have thought that after all these years of striving to be girl, I'd end up as a boi."
"You never know. You might like it. Radical events cause radical changes. At least now, no one can say you look like a man in a dress, since a dress won't really suit the boi"
Kathy paid Rachel for the cut, and still being a bit self-conscious pulled on her baseball cap, before heading back out onto Davie Street. A cool breeze blew in off English Bay and seemed to be sweeping away the despair of the previous evening. She passed by Little Sister's Book and Art Emporium and decided to stop in. She picked up a copy of On Our Backs, a magazine that advertised itself as Adventures in Lesbian Sex.

"That what I need," Kathy thought as she thumbed through the pages. "Adventures"
As she looked through a photo spread of a hot butch and femme lesbian couple she found herself getting aroused. Wicked thoughts coursed through her mind and she felt herself begin to perspire. She tugged the baseball cap off her head and ran her hand through her new haircut. It was then that it hit her. She smiled as her brain went into overdrive.

"There's more than one way to fit along the continuum." She thought. She paid for the magazine and headed out. She had a few stops to make.
Once back in her apartment and tossed some bags on her bed. She quickly stripped off all of her clothes and dug into the contents of the bag from Top Drawers Apparel. The store was busy with butch guys examining its array of jocks and briefs but the sales clerk really didn't even bat an eye as Kathy purchased the Bike jockstrap she know held in her hand. She stood before the full-length mirror on the back on the bedroom door and then examined the jock. She then looked at her reflection and her eyes settled the place where a penis had once hung. She fluffed out the pubic hair that covered her vagina feeling a dampness that had started to develop. Taking a deep breath she pulled the jockstrap up her legs and settled it on her hips.

She hadn't worn one of these she was in residence at the boy's locker-room in grade 12. The feeling was both familiar and strange at the same time. At least this time, she thought, I'm not wearing these out of threat to be more like a boy, but because I want to. It felt quite different with nothing filled the pouch of the jockstrap as it curved flat between her legs. She adjusted the straps to frame her butt and turned around to admire her work.
Beads of sweat formed between her breasts and rolled down her tummy. The coarse fabric of the pouch of her jockstrap tickled her pubic hair and she fell back onto bed. The sheets smelled of the rum she had spilled on then the night before, but she didn't care. Kathy wanted sex, and wanted it as messy and unclean as possible. Keeping her hand outside the pouch of her jockstrap she began massaging the clit that the surgeons had created for her out of the vestiges of her penis. Pleasurable sensations emanated from it and she began moaning in delight. She pulled the jockstrap up tight between her legs until the rough pouch slide in between her vaginal lips. With her fingers she began massaging between her labia using the fabric as stimulus. The forbidden nature of what she was doing, the way it showed a finger to all conventions of gender only served to enhance the experience. As Kathy closed her eyes she felt a spasm go through her again and again and she gasped for air as she climaxed.
She lay there totally drained and attempted to recover. The scent of her self love mingled with the spilt rum smell.

After several minutes in th afterglow, Kathy reached over and grabbed a bag from a shop called Womyn's Ware. She adjusted the pillows behind her and sat up. Spreading the bag's contents before her, she grinned a wicked grin as she inspected her toys; a realistic looking dildo complete with balls, a harness to strap it on with, some lube, and something called The Package. She took it out of its wrapping and examined it. It was a flaccid dick, also complete with testicles, while not suitable for sexplay, would add that bulge that was lacking in her jockstrap. She stuffed it into the pouch of her jock and adjusted it into place. She lay back on the bed and looked down at the incongruous sight of a dick bulge in her jockstrap coupled with the sight of her breasts.

Kathy stood up and admired herself in the mirror. She turned sideways and chuckled at the profile of breasts and a dick bulge she presented.
"A man in a dress my ass!" she swore.
Kathy dressed in a pair of men's Levi's button 501s and a white tee-shirt The tight jeans made a nice display of her Packy filled jockstrap, the lines of the straps that framed her ass clearly visible. She completed the look with a pair of white socks and some Doc Marten's
It was Boyz, Butches & Bad Girlz night over at Licks on Abbott Street. The night's event was to be a fundraiser for Youthco, a group that helped people age 15 to 29 who were affected by HIV/AIDS or Hepatitis C. She and Casey had talked about going to it.
"I can kill two birds with one stone, tonight", Kathy thought. "Help out a good cause, and maybe rub that bitch Casey's nose in it"
When she arrived at Licks, the place was heavy with girls and bois on the prowl. She settled at the bar for a drink and admired the scenery. She was definitely in the market, though not 100% sure what she doing. Kathy decided to let every ounce of hedonism inside be her guide. A cute little femme thing from the University of BC came floating by and sat across the room. She was grooving to the music and looked like she was hungry for a night of pleasure. Her eyes seemed to be focusing on every boi in the place. Kathy decided to strike.
"Hey. You look lonely over here. Can I buy you a drink and maybe offer some companionship"
"Ah, sure."
"What's your poison?"
"I'll just have some white wine, thanks"
"Oh perfect!" Kathy thought, "A little femme white wine drinker"
Kathy got the drink for her and they began some small talk.
The femme took a sip of her wine. "My name's Tina. I'm student at UBC. What about you, you have a name?"
"Yeah, I do. But it's not important"
"Okay, its not important. Funny name, though"
"You want to dance"
"Yeah, why not"
They both got up walked to the dance. The beat blared from the speakers and they Tina and Kathy engaged in the footsteps of a courtship ritual.
"Look, butchie, I'm not out for anything but to get laid" Tina suddenly blurted.
Kathy moved in closer. "You don't say. Well, I'm only here to do my part to corrupt the morals of the girls of UBC one at a time"
Tina glanced at the bulge in Kathy's crotch. "You're not really a guy are you?"
"Nope, just a butch boi on the prowl"
The music ended and they returned to their table all sweaty and hot. On the way back to their table Kathy spied Casey. She didn't want to make a scene, but she did want the last word
"Look, you want to leave and get on with things" Kathy asked.
"What about my wine"
"I have a full bottle at home. I'm just around the corner" Kathy grabbed Tina's hand. She made a point of walking right by Casey.
"Hi Casey! Hope your herpes are all better," she said as she walked out, arm around Tina's shoulder.
By the time hey reached Kathy's apartment, they both knew that they where ready for some anonymous down and dirty sex. Kathy tugged the dress that Tina was wearing up over her head. Standing there in just her bra and panties, Tina began to undo Kathy's jeans. Kathy pulled her white tee-shirt up over her head. Tina's fingers deftly undid the button on the 501s and Kathy let them drop to floor before kicking them across the room. She stood before Tina wearing nothing but her well packed jock. She pulled Tina close, the pouch of her jock rubbing against her crotch as she undid the girl's bra. Kathy then pushed her back on to the bed and started liking her tits. Tina pulled off her panties and tossed them to the floor.
Pausing only to grab a dental dam from the nightstand and place it over Tina's vagina, Kathy began to lick her pussy. Her saliva glistened on Tina's legs. Kathy's tongue thrust in and out and along Tina's labia and she could feel the girl's clit growing hard. Kathy's chin brushed in a bobbing motion against Tina's pussy as she continued licking and lapping at her
They both rolled over on their sides and Tina began to explore Kathy's body. Kathy pulled the Packy out of her jock and tossed it across the room, sending it bouncing off the wall. Tina dove in and began to eat her out through the fabric of her jockstrap. Her tongue made little teasing trails along Kathy's inner thigh and the edge of her jock, which was soon saturated with moisture.
"Do me, screw me, dyke boi! Screw me now!" Tina cried out.
Kathy reached under the bed for the strap on harness and dildo. Tina yanked Kathy's jockstrap off and then playfully fingered her pussy. Kathy held her breath in the hopes that works of her surgery wouldn't give her way as she wished that her secret of being a transsexual wouldn't be exposed. Tina seems far too interested in getting it on to see if anything was amiss.
Kathy inserted the dildo through the hole in the front of the harness and then pulled it into place.
"Put your jock back on and pull your dick out the side" Tina ordered as she pulled a condom over the fake dick.
Kathy pulled the jock up her legs and let her dildo hang out the side of the pouch. She pushed Tina back on the bed and then let her guide the silicon dick into her vagina. Kathy had never had sex as a boy and was unsure what to do. She had seen some gay male porn and so figured that some imitation might work as she began thrusting.
"Drive it home dyke boi! Give it to me"
Kathy's clit throbbed with a beat like a tom-tom as she rammed her dildo into Tina. She began to actually feel each and every shove she made into the girls' pussy as if some vestigial thought process held over from her life as a boy kicked in.
"C'mon boi, give me all your dyke dick." The pouch of Kathy's jockstrap rubbed against Tina's clit and soon she melted into waves of orgasm. Then in one move, she flipped Kathy on her back, and pulled off Kathy's jockstrap off her and then removed the harness and dildo. Tina's fingers first tickled the mass of wet curls of her pubic hair before she stuck them deep inside of Kathy. She diddled her in a rhythm to match her panting, playing with Kathy's clit with her thumb. Kathy's back arched as she screamed out in orgasm.
They fell back on the bed, a tangled mess of sweaty bodies and fell asleep amidst the unkempt sheets.
Several hours later, Kathy woke up, her mind in a daze. She shook her head and reached beside her. She realised that Tina was no longer lying by her side.
She got up and went form room to room. There was no sign of the cute femme she had just bedded. Returning to bedroom, Kathy sat on the end of her bed. Her clothes lay in a heap on the floor. She began to pick them up, and in doing so noticed that her new Bike jockstrap was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile across town in an apartment near UBC Tina sat on her bed with an array of jockstraps and men's briefs scattered on the bed in front of her. She was wearing nothing more than Kathy's jockstrap as she filled out an entry in her journal.
"So many bois, so little time..." she began.

Copyright © 2005 Kozmik Alaska. All rights reserved. You may print or store
this story for personal use only. Republication and redissemination on other websites
or in other printed or electronic format is expressly prohibited without the prior
written consent of Kozmik Alaska.

The Ghost of the Summer of 85

Its a trip back the 1980s as Tony and Jeannie make new waves as new romantics in the summer of 1985.

Permission is hereby granted by Kozmik Alaska for the publication of this story on his behalf here at Big Closet Top Shelf only.

The Ghost of the Summer of 85 By Kozmik Alaska

The summer of 1985 will always be to the generation of college students of the 80s what the summer of love was to college students in the 60s. To Tony and Jeannie, it was their first taste of freedom from the controls of both their parents and school. Their freshman year was just about to draw to a close with the last of the final exams on the horizon.

It was a Thursday, and the last day of exams at Crystal State University. Tony and Jeannie sat at the table in the kitchen of their small one bedroom off-campus flat eating lunch. The sound of the Eurythmics singing 'Sweet dreams are made of this....' came from the radio.

'Whew! McCarthy's calc final promises to be a real ball-buster. I'll be glad when in just a few hours that is over' said Tony.

'I know what you mean. My poli-sci final promises to be a pain. I can't wait to get it over with and then relax.' said Jeannie echoing Tony's sentiments.

Tony gave Jeannie that special look that made her fall in love with him back in high school. She felt her defenses melting inside as she said, 'I know a special way for us both to relax when this is over.'

Tony smiled at her as he felt a stirring in crotch. He knew exactly what she meant.

Without warning his watch beeped to signal the top of the hour, bringing them both back to the real world.

'Shit! One o'clock. I gotta hustle! I wanna get this over with!' Tony exclaimed.

Tony washed down his last bite of sandwich with some diet Coke. He got up from the table and leaned over to kiss Jeannie.

As he ran his fingers through her short red hair, he said, 'Good luck in poli-sci!'

'Thanks, I need it!' Jeanie replied and then paused. 'Say, Tony, have you given any thought as to what you want to do this summer for fun?'

'I dunno.' He answered. 'I'll tell you what ... anything as long as you do it with me. You come up with it and I'll do it!'

He kissed her again and turned to leave. 'I love you. See ya'

Jeannie blew him a kiss as closed the door behind him.

The hours in the exam hall passed by in slow motion. When it was all over, Jeannie stopped at Alexander's Pasta Express for a take-away dinner of spaghetti a la putanesca and Tony popped into the local wine shoppe for a bottle of celebratory wine. Jeannie often ordered spaghetti with sauce a la putanesca for them. Legend had it that brothels in Italy used to make this aromatic sauce and use its siren song to entice clients. All Jeannie knew was that it certainly got Tony in the mood.

And so that night over a wonderful dinner of spaghetti and wine, they celebrated the end of classes.

'Red Red Wine...goes to my head' .... UB40 was singing in their latest video on MTV. After they had eaten their fill, they collapsed in each other's arms on the couch to watch a movie. Tony turned out the lamp on the end table, and soon to the flicker of the TV screen, their clothes where off and the spaghetti sauce worked its magic.

They slowly and tenderly kissed each other - everywhere. Tony loved everything about Jeannie, from her red hair to her small A-cup breasts to that special place between her legs. There, he kissed in an extra special way. Jeannie later returned his passion. She loved Tony because he was so faithful and total devoted to her. Thinking of the George Michael song, she knew that she would never hear a careless whisper from him.

The video ended as Tony and Jeannie had almost fallen into a light dreamy sleep. When the noise of a loud tone began blaring and a test pattern at the end of the videotape appeared on the TV screen, Tony reached over and flipped the TV to Night Tracks on WTBS to catch some music videos.

'Thought anymore about what you want to do for fun, this summer, Jeannie?' Tony asked.

'A little. My philosophy prof says that we should use this summer to experience something totally different and wild, because soon we'll have to think about serious things -- like jobs and careers!' Jeannie answered.

'Yuk Phoo-ee!' Tony exclaimed. 'I don't think I wanna grow up!'

Jeannie laughed, "Me neither. So, let me think. Something totally different......'

In the background the TV could be heard. 'Now on Night Tracks, videos from a bunch of gender benders. To start us off, here's Annie Lennox and the Eurythmics and Who's That Girl'

Tony looked over at the TV. 'This is a really cool song, and Annie is really hot looking!' he said as he sat up.

Jeannie pouted, 'As hot as me? Nobody weally wuvs me.'

'I guess not' Tony answered smiling at her.

He returned to intently watching the video. Jeannie snuggled up closely to him, trying to pull him back to the real world. She just about had him when the video ended and faded into Boy George and Culture Club's video for I'll Tumble for Ya.

It was Jeannie's turn. 'Now, he's hot. Between Boy George and Nick Rhodes of Duran Duran, I can't tell who'd make a prettier girl'

'Ah..... yeah, sure.' Tony answered.

'Well, to be honest, I think you'd make a really cute girl, Tony. Cuter than either of them" Jeannie observed.

Then Jeannie looked over to Tony. 'I gots me an idea!' she announced. 'Would you tumble for me?'

Tony looked at her and saw a mischievous gleam in her eyes. 'Are you thinking what I think you're thinking' he inquired.

'Nope! I'm going even better than that' she answered.

'Uh-oh', Tony gulped.

'I read that gender bending is the latest trend on England. Well, remember what my philosophy prof said about experiencing something completely different. Let's start our own trend' Jeannie explained.

'Jeannie, guys have been dressing girl's clothes since Shakespeare's day and before! And girls wear guy's stuff all the time. Nothing new.....'

Jeannie cut him off, 'Oh I'm not thinking about going that way. While what I'm thinking is that we swap clothes, what I'm not thinking is that we swap genders. You know, you still look like you and don't look all girlie but wear a skirt. And I'll wear pants.'

'I dunno. Doesn't sound fair to me. You wear my shirts all the time.' Tony observed.

They both sat and thought for a minute. Finally Jeannie snapped her fingers. 'I got it, I got it!'

By this time the sprite in her eyes danced even brighter. 'We don't wear each other's clothes, but I buy girl's clothes for you, and you buy boy's clothes for me.'

Tony popped right in not realising what he was about to say, 'Yeah everything right down to boy's white Fruit of the Loom briefs for you.'

Jeannie looked at him in surprise, then smiled in revenge, 'and a bra and panties for you! Sized just to fit you with no padding or anything as if you always wore one.'

'Ooops!' Tony just realised the consequence of his remark. ' You know, I think you'd make a really handsome boy, though.'

'It is settled then! We are going to turn fashion on its ear. This will be so cool. I'll buy girls stuff for you just as if it were totally normal for a guy to wear girl's stuff and you can do the same for me with boy's stuff. Then we can be the hit a tomorrow night's end of semester party at Terri Bishop's place' Jeannie schemed.

'You never said anything about going out!' Tony exclaimed.

'Hey! We're going to start a trend. Besides, everyone's cool!' she answered.

She glanced at her watch. 'We better hit the sack, we have some shopping to do tomorrow'.

After a quick breakfast the next morning, the pair hopped into the Blue Frog. That was the nickname that Tony had given to his blue Renault Le Car. They headed down the hill and off to Hill's Department Store at Northside Mall. A tape of the Thompson Twins was playing in the cassette player. 'We are detective....we are select….we are detective…come to collect'

'Okay...Agent 36 double A, here is your job... and you cannot choose to NOT accept it. Remember you promised you'd do anything as long as you could do it with me.', Jeannie instructed.

Tony smiled at the thought that she had already done her homework and had figured out his bra size already. He spent most of the night convincing himself that this just might be fun.

'I accept it. With relish.... and a pickle and onions on the side' he answered.

'Let's see ... a bra and panties for you. A nice denim miniskirt, since you have great legs, and Express has these great oversized camp shirts on sale' Jeannie explained. ''So, what are you going to buy for me?'

'I was thinking about a pastel shirt and skinny tie and black pants like Martin Fry in ABC wears. And of course jockey shorts and a jockstrap.' Tony answered.

'A jockstrap? Hmmm..... ' Jeannie now saw a sprite in Tony's eyes. Perhaps she had bitten off more than she could chew.

'Hey, every girl needs support!' Tony answered.

'Done deal then! See ya back here at 2 PM sharp' Jeannie said as she gave Tony a peck on the cheek and got out of the car.

Tony gulped as he watched her enter the mall.

At 2PM they both showed up back at car, packages in hand. Tony opened the hatch to the Blue Frog, and they tossed in their packages. Before slamming the hatch shut, Tony tried to peek into the bags of goodies that Jeannie had bought.

'Uh uh uh! No fair peaking until we get home' she cautioned.

'Just a little peek … you show me mine, I'll show you yours' Tony joked twisting around the old saying.

'No way! What do you think we're doing, playing doctor?' she retorted sticking her tongue out at him as she slammed the hatch shut. 'Besides, I'll make it worth your while when we get home, cutie?'

'With an offer like that, I can't refuse.' Tony smiled.

Following the short drive back to Tower's Terrace, Tony and Jeannie transported their goodies into the bedroom.

'Flip you to see who goes first' Jeannie said excitedly as she pulled a coin out of her pocket.

'Deal - I call heads!' Tony shouted.

Jeannie flipped the coin in the air. It looped, landed on the floor, rolled toward the dresser, and came to rest on it's side leaning against the side of the chest of drawers.

'It looks like a draw! I guess we'll have to do this together' Jeannie giggled.

Tony smiled and said, 'All right! Let's get started, shall we'

Jeannie reached over and turned on the cassette player. 'A little music to set the mood.'

Pete Burns of Dead or Alive was singing 'You spin me right round baby like a record round round round....'

Jeannie began singing along 'I ... I got my eye on you .. and no one else will do...' as she reached over and began unbuttoning Tony's shirt.

'Well, what are waiting for. Watch out here I come!' she said.

Tony shed his shirt and then helped Jeannie out of her top. She turned around so that he could undo her bra. Gently he slipped it off as Jeannie said, 'That's the last of them for me!'

Then in unison they began undoing each other's jeans. Jeannie and Tony let their jeans slowly fall to the floor. They stood before each other clad only in their underwear. Jeannie ran her hand along the front of Tony's white Fruit of the Loom briefs.

'All mine' she said, 'And now these are mine, too.'

She then reached over and placed his hand, first inside her panties. 'And this is all yours, always and forever.' Then she placed his hand on the lace trim on the front of the panties, 'And now these are all yours.'

Tony leaned forward and kissed Jeannie and caressed her. As, their breathing began to get heavy, and Jeannie said, 'We had better get dressed if we want to get to Terri's party on time.'

Tony sighed, 'Only if that was a promise of things to come.'

Jeannie chuckled as she gave him one last soft caress, 'It is, and I'm sure we will!' Jeannie began to pull down Tony's white briefs. He responded in kind, and moved to pull down her panties. They both let there underwear slide slowly to the floor and then they stepped out of them. Tony then slowly removed Jeannie's bra and tossed it on the bed.

'I guess we're ready to start anew' he said.

'Yes' Jeannie answered. 'And I have your starting point right here.'

She walked over to the bed and picked up a small package and removed its contents. Jeannie twirled a pair of lacy french cut bikini panties on her index finger. 'You'll look good enough to eat in these' she observed as she handed the panties to him. 'What have you got for me?'

Tony reached into one of the department store bags. 'No peeking!' he exclaimed as he turned around. Jeannie could hear him tearing at the plastic of a package. When he turned around he had a pair boy's white Fruit of the Loom briefs in his hand. Tony held them up in front of Jeannie's mid section to size them.

'Yes, I think these will do quite nicely.' Tony stated.

Tony noticed that Jeannie's nipples had gotten hard when he held the boy's briefs up to her. He leaned forward and kissed them, and then said, 'Time to get dressed.'

Tony set the boy's briefs on the bed and then pulled on his panties. Jeannie stuck out her leg and pouted, 'What about me?'

Tony picked up the boy's underwear and held then out for Jeannie to step into. He then pulled them up her legs. Carefully he adjusted them on her. Jeannie sighed in ecstasy as when he adjusted the fly and gently caressed her pussy.

'Thanks, that feels great' she said. She then handed him an A-cup bra. Jeannie had Tony turn around as she slipped the bra on him and fastened it in the back. He turned around so she could adjust the cups in the front.

'I think that fits you quite nicely!' she observed.

'I like it!' he answered. 'Now for you, an undershirt'

Tony removed a ribbed tank-top style undershirt from the pile of department store bags. He pulled it over Jeannie's head and down over her breasts, lightly brushing her nipples. He then handed her a guy's dress shirt. Jeannie took it and reached into her stash and handed Tony a striped sweater in various colours of blue.

'I think blue is your best colour' she said.

They pulled on the tops, and then stood back to review their handiwork. 'I think I like this' Jeannie said.

Tony reached into another back and presented Jeannie with a pair of guy's dress pants. 'I can't have you running around in your briefs!'

Jeannie gave his lace-covered penis a gentle squeeze and said, 'And I can't have this on display for all to see, but I want easy access to it.' She took a denim skirt out of a bag for Tony.

Tony put on his skirt as Jeannie pulled on her pants. Tony handed her a tie, a belt and pair of socks to finish the look. Jeannie gave him a pair of pantyhose.

When the pair had finished dressing they stood in front of the mirror. 'Very nice, very nice indeed' Jeannie said. Tony smiled in agreement. They kissed deeply and Jeannie's hands made their way up the back of Tony's skirt to his panties. Tony ran his hand along the seam of the leg opening of Jeannie boy's briefs, which he could feel through the cloth of her pants.

Jeannie, reluctantly broke away. 'I think we better head to Terri's'

Tony and Jeannie made their way out to the Blue Frog. Their neighbour Mrs Obermeir almost dropped her grocery bags when she saw Tony dressed in girl's clothes, and Jeannie dressed in boy's. She watched them with her mouth wide open in disbelief. Forgetting her own college years in the 60, she muttered something about 'kid's today'.

Tony and Jeannie howled with laughter when they got into the car.

That night they were the hit of the party. Tony couldn't keep his hands off Jeannie and mentally kept undressing her, down to just her boy's briefs. This was quite all right by Jeannie, as the other girls seemed overly interested in what Tony had on under his skirt. Terri came over to the couch where they were sitting and ran her hand along the front of Tony's sweater. Somebody put on David Bowie's Let Dance and Jeannie pulled Tony to his feet. 'Saved ya!' she said.

Then looking at Terri she said 'All mine!'

When the record ended Jeannie whispered 'I'll be right back -- stay out of trouble' and made her way to the kitchen.

Terri was there. 'Hey hand's off, Terri' Jeannie told her.

'I know. I was just curious .. and I was right' Terri replied. 'Tony's wearing a bra too. How'd you ever get him to do it?'

'It's a mutual agreement' Jeannie said.

'Duh! Yeah, I can see your wearing a shirt and tie.' Terri answered.

'But that's not all ... I'm wearing boy's underwear too. We've swapping for the summer.' Jeannie said proudly.

'No shit?' Terri said in astonishment.

'Yep. And you ought to see how randy it gets Tony.' Jeannie stated. 'Give it a try with Bill. You won't be disappointed.'

When they returned to their flat that evening they barely made it through the door as they began fondling each other. They tumbled onto the couch and continued making out.

'Wait!' Tony put a tape of Moments in Love by the Art of Noise into the cassette machine. 'Now' he said.

Jeannie slowly pulled the sweater over Tony's head and then undid his skirt. As he removed his pantyhose she loosened her tie. Tony, wearing only his bra and panties began to unbutton Jeannie's shirt and unbuckle her belt. When she was down to just her boy's white briefs, the collapsed onto the couch.

Jeannie lay on her back and Tony began kissing her, first her ears, then her lips, and then her neck. As he did this hand made its way into Jeannie boy's underwear. 'You are so wonderful' he breathed.

She fondled his panty-clad cock in response.

He made his way down to her crotch and kissed the front of her boy's briefs right at the fly. He then spread open the fly opening and gained access to her moistening pussy. He thrust his tongue deep inside as he buried his face in her boy's underwear.

After they had made out for several minutes, Jeannie pushed Tony back on the couch and went to climb on top off him. 'I'm on top tonight' she announced.

'I was hoping so!' Tony smiled. 'But first, I have something to make it just right. Wait right here.'

Tony got up from the couch and went into the bedroom. He then returned with a Bike jockstrap and sparkle in his eyes. 'Remember, I said you'd be needing this, too.'

Jeannie giggled, "I wondered what you intended when you mentioned a jockstrap. I guess I'll find out now.'

'Uh huh. Take off your briefs.' Tony requested.

Jeannie removed her boy's briefs, which were now quite moist with the results of their foreplay. Tony then held out the jockstrap for her to step into. He then adjusted the pouch on her pussy and pulled the straps down around her butt cheeks.

'There ... you are all ready.' He stated as he lay back on the couch and pulled his panties to one side. His cock sprung to attention and stood erect.

Jeannie reached down to the pouch of her jockstrap. She ran her fingers along the front of the ribbed fabric and reached the spot were the straps met the pouch. She noticed that if she pulled the pouch forward just a bit, that Tony would have access to her pussy. She climbed on top of him, and lowered herself straight down on his penis. She then began pumping up and down and flexed her vaginal muscles around his dick. She could feel it grow harder inside of her with every stroke. Tony could feel the tightness grow as the cloth where the pouch and straps of Jeannie's jockstrap met brushed the top of his dick. The pouch of her jockstrap rubbed against her clit, now hard and erect sending waves of orgasmic spasms through her body. Tony felt the build up in his balls release and together they collapsed into a sweaty climax.

Tony kissed Jeannie softly. 'I love you' he whispered.

'And I love you too' Jeannie replied as she returned his kisses. After enjoying the afterglow they headed off to bed and slept in each other's arms.

The next morning, Jeannie headed off to work at as a cashier at the local Giant Save grocery store. As Tony was still asleep, she quietly rummaged through the bags of clothes they had bought yesterday. She found a clean pair of boy's white Fruit of the Loom briefs to wear and put them on. Wearing only her boy's briefs, she looked at herself in the mirror.

'Yes, I think I like these' she said, before she dressed in her guy's pants and the dress shirt and tie again and headed off to work. She kissed Tony and whispered I love you.

That brought Tony about halfway back from the world of sleep and he drifted in and out of sweet dreams of making love with Jeannie clad only in her boy's briefs.

The warbling of the phone brought him back to life.

'Tony, its Mark. Is it true?'

'Huh? *yawn* Mark, uh, er, is what true.' Tony answered.

'You know! That you and Jeannie are swapping clothes for the summer?' Mark exclaimed.

'Yeah, its true. Man does that get her randy!' Tony replied.

'Cool! Everyone is talking about it. I think that you two have started a trend. Connie called me this morning and has already dropped a few hints.' Connie was Mark's girlfriend.

'Be sure you go the whole way' Tony advised. 'Do everything down to underwear. You haven't seen anything until you've seen a girl in boy's underwear'.

That afternoon Jeannie went down to Hill's department store one her break. She wanted to buy a few more pair of panties for Tony and get some more boy's briefs for herself. When she went to the lingerie department she ran into Terri.

'Hi! Doing some shopping I see, Terri' Jeannie said.

'Hey Jeannie! Which do you think Bill will look better in, the pink lace or the red silk?' she asked.

'Why don't you just ask him yourself. Here he comes.' Jeannie observed as Bill approached them holding a pair of pants and a package of white boy's briefs.

'Think these will fit you Terri?' he asked as he handed her a package of Jockey shorts.

By Monday, guys could be seen on the streets around Crystal State University wearing skirts. The boy's underwear tumbling in the dryers at the laundromat belonged to the girls. Yes, things changed back in 1985. And while many students returned to their regular clothes when school started up again, for Tony and Jeannie, their gender bending remained a part of the fun. Necessitated by the start of school it became a private pleasure shared in various degrees. Jeannie continued to wear boy's underwear all time and Tony continued in panties.

Ten years later they celebrated their wedding anniversary and made love to sound of a CD of the Psychedelic Furs. After making love they held each closely and the words surrounded them. 'Inside you the time flies and she don't fade. The ghost in you she don't fade.' The ghost of their love of the summer of 85 never faded.

The Girl, oops, Boy Can't Help It By Kozmik Alaska

Tommy Tisch, needs an act, Geraldine needs a gig. My tribute to Frank Tashlin's 1956 film, The Girl Can't Help It.

Permission is hereby granted by Kozmik Alaska for the publication of this story on his behalf here at Big Closet Top Shelf only.

As I was saying, this story was formatted in proper HTML using a gorgeous life-like font Hmmm. A gorgeous life-like font. PLINK! Sometimes you wonder who's minding the store. Oh, yes, our story is about music and romance. Not the music and romance of long ago, but the music and romance that expresses the culture, the refinement, and the polite grace of the present day, for today's music is so intertwined with romance, and it is both love and music that makes the world spin, as was seen back in the 1950s when Jayne Mansfield and Tom Ewell starred in the film, The Girl Can't Help It.

"The last two acts you've brought me have sucked. And I don't mean that in a good sense. What makes you think that I trust you to bring me a good act this time?" Mickey Martell snapped as he pounded on his desk.

Tommy Tisch squirmed in his seat "Mickey, c'mon, just give me a chance. Your clientele isn't easy to please."

"You keep bringing me these J Lo and Christina Aquil-whats-her-name clones. When will you get you through your head? I run a gay nightclub. We want beefcake, NOT cheesecake."

"Okay, so I made a few miscalculations as to what they what might like."

"Miscalculations hell! That one chick you brought in here looked like a drag queen."

"I thought that was the idea..."

"These guys wanna see tube steak not silicone." Mickey puffed suggestively on a Cohiba cigar fresh off the boat from Havana. "Look, you bring me one more crap act, and you won't have to answer to me."

Tommy gulped. "Er, w-w-w-what do you mean?"

Mickey pushed the button on his intercom, "Steve, I need some papers shredded. Could you come in here"

The office door opened, and in walked the toughest, most butch, most macho leathermen Tommy had ever seen. Mickey handed him the Greater Toronto Area Yellow Pages. The leatherman held it both hands and with one swift motion ripped the thick book in half. He then pulled a handkerchief out of the back pocket of his leather pants and used it to dust off the corner of Mickey's desk. He very gently placed the torn phonebook on the desk, neatly arranging the stack of paper.

"Thank you, Steve."

A bead of sweat dribbled down Tommy’s face. "I think I get the idea."

"Good. He's a really sweet guy you know. Does needlepoint, you know. So, what can you come up with"

Tommy knew that quick thinking was needed.

"Well, it just so happens that now that I understand what you are really looking for, I have the perfect singer for you. He is, he is, ah, so, well, let just say, that I can't even think of the words to describe him"

"You've been holding out on me. When can he audition for me"

"As soon as I can find him, ah, er, find him some time in his busy schedule"

"Good. Call me. I have something special planned. Now get to work"

"Yes, sir, Mr Martell. You'll see him for the first time right after I do"

Tommy got up from his chair and headed to the door. Steve the leatherman opened the door and showed him the way out.

Meanwhile at a small theatre along Dundas Street, Geraldine Shoreman was belting her heart out with a version of a Celine Dion song. The song drew to a close and the final note resounded to a stony silence from director.

The director didn't even look up from his notepad. "Thank you" his lack of interest was evident.

"Sir, I just wanted to say that I really need this part, please" Geraldine pleaded.

"Thank you. Break everyone" The director placed his stack of papers and the notebook he was taking notes on in his briefcase and set it on the floor near his seat before heading backstage.

Geraldine sat at the edge of the stage sobbing as everyone filed out.

"Damn" she thought. "Another failed audition. What am I doing wrong."

She sat quietly and stared out into the empty theatre. Then she spied the director's briefcase. Hopping down off the stage, Geraldine crept over to where the director was sitting. Pausing only make sure that the coast was clear, she grabbed his notebook and flipped to the page where he was taking notes on her.

A sad look clouded her face "Should go back to her day job. No tits. Flat as the ice at a hockey arena. Too butch"

The tears rolled down her face. Never had she known anyone to be so cruel. Sure, she wasn't too big up front, but she did have talent and that should count for something.

"Damnit, " she thought "I could out act any one of these big breasted poor excuses for actresses."

After scribbling a choice expletive on the notepad, Geraldine tossed it down, gathered her coat around her, and headed for the door. The ride on the Go Train back to her apartment in Aldershot was as lonely and cold as the autumn landscape. She did what any girl in her situation would do in her case. She popped into Sobey's and bought a pint of double chocolate ice cream.

Once back at her apartment, she changed into a pair of warm sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and a pair of bunny slippers. She then grabbed a spoon from the kitchen, plopped down on the chesterfield, and switched on the TV. Between spoons of double chocolate she flipped through the channels, settling on Bravo, the arts channel.

"Next on Bravo, By the time Billy Tipton died in 1989 at the age of seventy-four, he had raised three sons, divorced five wives, and come to the end of a respectable career as a jazz saxophonist. It was only then that his secret was revealed. Billy Tipton was a woman. The Secret Life of Billy Tipton, next on Bravo."

"How curious" Geraldine thought as the programme began. Billy Tipton's life as a man unfolded before her, and as it did, her curiosity rose.

Geraldine watched intently as several of Billy's acquaintances discussed his life. One of them was jazz legend Duke Ellington.

"Billy could blow a mean sax. Some hot lick's came from that sax of his"

"Do you think he would have made it in the jazz world of the 30s and 40s as a woman?"

"No sir. Not at all. Jazz was a man's world as far as the instrumentalist went. Any women in jazz were singers, not band members, you see." the Duke observed.

"But what about the fact that Billy had incredible talent"

"Oh I suppose he could have gotten work. But it would have been seen as a novelty act you see. You know, like in an all girl band."

"Did anyone ever suspect"

"Well, some of us may have thought that he was maybe a, well, a sweet boy, you know. But he got married so many time, we figured otherwise." Duke Ellington answered with a smile.

As the programme went to commercial, Geraldine sat back on the chesterfield.

"I wonder," she thought as she scraped the last of the ice cream out of the container. She got up from the chesterfield to go to the kitchen with the empty ice cream container

Geraldine stopped at the small mirror in the hallway. She ran her fingers through her short black hair to rearrange it into a more boyish style. She then turned sideways and looked at her profile. "Almost, but not quite there" she said before placing the palms of her hands on her small breasts to flatten them.

"It just might work," she thought.

Geraldine went to her desk and grabbed a pencil and pad of paper and began making up a shopping list. After tearing the sheet from the pad, she put on her coat and headed out the door.

Once in Toronto, she took to subway to The Bay. She hadn’t really explored the men’s department in any great depth before. Sizes, what sizes? She picked out a pair of Levi’s Dockers and held them up to her waist.

"May I help you miss?" inquired an approaching salesclerk.

Geraldine felt all the blood rush from her body.

"Ah, er, yes. I need to buy some clothes, for, ah my brother. He, ah, just flew in from Lethbridge Alberta and the airline lost his luggage" Geraldine said as she prided herself with her quick thinking

"Okay, what size does he wear" the salesclerk asked.

"Uh er, ah, well, I wore his jeans once out on the farm.." Geraldine began.

"out in Lethbridge Alberta. And those were the size?" the sales clerk continued.

"Right! The farm in Lethbridge" Geraldine agreed.

Figuring that he had snared a prairie yokel, the clerk prepared to reel in the sale.

"Well, he’ll need abit of eveything then since they lost his luggage. Shirts, sock, underwear, shoes?"

"Ah yeah, everything"

Upon her return home, Geraldine began her transformation. She dug into her CD collection and pulled out a CD. Dance hits of the 80s. Yea, she thought, that’ll set the mood.

As the rhythm of the music built, Geraldine began shedding her clothes. Standing in just her bra and panties, she tore at the packages.

Trousers, shirt, socks, shoes, Jockey Y-Fronts. Jockey Y-Fronts! What the hell had was she getting herself into.

She held the package in her hands and felt a shiver go through her. This was forbidden fruit she thought. But then again, the remembered her acting classes. She should dive headlong into any role. Quickly she pulled off her panties. Holding up a pair of the Jockey Y-Fronts, she took a deep breath and stepped into them. A strange feeling came over her. It was almost empowering. Yes, she could do this. She’d show that damn director. If Billy Tipton could make it in a man’s world, then so could Geraldine Shoreman.

Geraldine dressed in her shirt and trousers and looked in the mirror.

"Not bad" she thought. "Not bad at all. But then I need a good test. I think, I think …. I’ll head back to the city."

Later, as Geraldine walked along Dundas Street no one seemed the wiser. But she realised that this wasn't the best test. Walking down Yonge Street, she made her way past Eaton's Centre, and back to The Bay, where she had earlier done all of her shopping. She took the escalator to the men's department.

Geraldine stood before the display of men's Levi's Dockers. While sorting through them to find her size, the young salesclerk she had encountered earlier in the day walked up behind her.

"May I help you, sir?" he asked.

"Ah, yes, ah, my sister was in earlier and bought a pair of these for me, and I wanted to get another pair."

"Ah yes, I recall her, just this afternoon. Are you twins, from, er Lethbridge Alberta"

"Er, yes, in fact we are. Would I be able to try these on?"

"Of course, right over here" the clerk said as he motioned to the men's dressing room.

Geraldine gulped and took a deep breath. "My ruse seems to be working," she thought as she stepped in the dressing room.

Having succeeded in fooling the salesclerk at The Bay, Geraldine headed back out onto Yonge Street.

While she was busy at The Bay, Tommy sat in a small pub on Edward Street nursing a scotch and water. It was his fourth that afternoon. It threw it back and ordered another.

Nick the bartender squinted at him "Someone who drinks as much as you is trying to numb a problem of some sort"

"Damn Nick, I have to come up with a smash stage act, or the only client I have left is going to have me shredded into little Tommy-bits"

"Trust me, with as much booze as you have in you, you won't feel a thing. It's my responsibility to ask you to lay off the drink for a bit"

"I tell ya, Nick, life sucks, and then you die -- if you're lucky" he moaned.

"A man who sips at scotch all afternoon will soon get his wish" Nick said as he mopped the bar with a towel.

"Can't you turn that infernal radio down, it’s interfering with my desire to pass out"

"That's not the radio, it’s the karaoke machine. It’s karaoke night. Let me get you a coffee. Give the acts a watch, maybe you'll see something there"

As luck would have it in stories like these, Geraldine had finished up her shopping and was walking along Yonge Street. A poster plastered on wooden temporary walkway near a construction site in the 200 block caught her eye. "Do You Have Talent? Karaoke Night! Tonight! Iron's Tavern .. Edward Street .. $200 prize"

"Why not" she thought. "Maybe this will be one audition I won't fail"

Geraldine made a beeline to her car in the parking garage on Bay Street, dumped her purchases in the trunk, and emerged back on Yonge Street. As she hurried along she became aware of the different sensations she was experiencing. The coarser fabric of her new boy's Jockey Y-Fronts rubbed between her legs resulting in some not unpleasurable sensations. Perhaps it was the excitement of the ruse that she pulling she thought.

Upon arrival at Iron's Tavern, Geraldine paid the cover fee and figuring that she needed something to bolster her courage, walked up to bar to get a drink. The bar was dimly lit and held a crowd that looked to be well on their way to attitude readjustment.

"Perfect," she thought. Their impaired judgement coupled with the dim lights could actually help her out.

Nick casually took her order and placed a run and cola in front of her.

"So what do you have to do to try out for the karaoke" she asked as she took a slug of her courage in a glass.

"Just see the man in DJ booth" Nick answered.

Geraldine took another drink, followed by a deep breath, and strode confidently over to the booth.

"I want to register for the karaoke," she said.

The DJ handed her a release form. She began filling out the form, carefully printing G E R A L, then paused to erase those letters, replacing them with G E R R Y. After she completed the form, the DJ handed her a catalogue.

"Pick the tune you a want" he instructed.

Recalling the music she was playing at home, Geraldine picked the song Don't Leave Me this Way by Bronski Beat.

No sooner had she made her way back to the bar for another gulp of her rum and cola, the DJ announced, "Our next contestant is Gerry Shoreman from Aldershot. Please put you hands together for him!"

Geraldine bounded up to the stage, grabbed the mike. In considering the best way to grab her audience, she turned so that her back was to them. Just as the intro ended, she spun around

"Don't leave me this way, I can't survive .. can't stay alive .. without your love..."

Over at the bar, Tom tilted his head. The natural tone of Geraldine's singing voice resembled the falsetto of Jimmy Sommerville, the lead singer of Communards. Jimmy was quite popular with the club scene, especially the gay club scene, Tommy remembered. He felt his toes start tapping to the infectious beat of the song. Clearly the audience was enjoying the show that Geraldine was putting on as she tossed every stage trick she knew into it.

As the song ended, the applause went up. The electronic clap-o-meter on the stage showed that Geraldine had indeed reeled them in.

Tommy turned to Nick. "Who's that."

"Ah, just some clubkid off the street probably wantin' the free food we serve on karaoke night" Nick answered.

Tommy rubbed his chin as he as he turned toward the stage. "No, that my friend is my answer!"

Geraldine stepped off the stage and returned the bar to await the results. In one long drink she quaffed down the rest her rum and cola. Her throat was dry and the rum burned a bit as it went down. She coughed a bit and her eyes began to water just as Tommy approached.

"Hi, can I buy you another?" he asked.

"Jeez - just what I need, some loser trying to pick me up" she thought

"Er, no thanks"

"Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Tommy Tisch, and I'm an agent"

"Sure, and just like in the movies, you're going to make me a star"

"Not exactly, you are going to make yourself into a star, and I'm going to manage you"

"Pull the other one" Geraldine said.

"I'm serious. I have a client who needs a singer, and you have the looks and the voice to draw them in."

"So, who is this client"

Tommy figured that if he revealed that fact that his client ran the hottest gay bar in Toronto, he'd lose this one and be back to ground zero. But if he could clinch the engagement, and this Gerry guy was hungry enough, he'd have succeeded in avoiding becoming a support pillar on an overpass on the Don Valley Parkway.

"Oh, he's a big one." Tommy scribbled down the address to his office "Look, meet me at this address. 2.30 PM tomorrow. I'll have my client join us for an audition. But that will just be a formality, cause I know he will hire you"

Gerry took the paper and blinked at it. Had she accomplished what she had set out to? An actual stage job. She quickly re-evaluated her opinion of the slightly inebriated man in front of her. "He is kinda cute in a dishevelled sort of way," she thought.

"Dress trendy. He likes trendy. Shirt and tie and sharp looking suit. He'll just love you."

Meanwhile the din in the bar grew louder as did the applause.

Geraldine calculated the costs of what she'd have to purchase.

"Look, I have to go call him. Tomorrow .. 2.30. Got it?"

"I have to go prepare. I'll be there"

Geraldine slid off her barstool and headed to the door.

"Hey, you, young fella" a voice called out behind.

She was just about to open the door to leave the bar when a hand grabbed her shoulder.

"Hey, Gerry. You're the winner! You've just won $200. And the crowd wants more"

Gerry climbed back up the stage and belted out another verse of Don't Leave Me This Way before heading out to enthusiastic applause.

In the hallway of the tavern, Tommy was shouting into his mobile phone. "Yes. 2.30. What? That’s him in the background. Good good."

Geraldine went flying past him as he finished up the call. Just time to get back to the Bay for suit, she thought.

The next morning Geraldine began her preparations. A dark double-breasted suit and a band-collar shirt hung on her door. She grabbed the second pair of Jockey Y-Fronts from the 3 pack she had purchased the say before. Geraldine pulled them on and reached for the tight white a-shirt on the bed. She pulled it over her head. This did a fine job of flattening what little I have in the upper-frontal department she thought as she admired her profile in the mirror. Ah, but there was one area that did need the help of some extra padding.

Geraldine dug in her chest of drawers for a pair of athletic socks. She balled one of them up, poking and prodding it into just the right shape before slipping into the front of her Y-Fronts. Standing in front of the mirror, she further adjusted her new masculine bulge.

The fuzzy cotton appendage she was now sporting rubbed against her clitoris creating some pleasurable sensations in her. They were different this time however. Somehow, coupled with the novel happenstance of being dressed in boy’s underwear, the rush took on a new mesmerising efficacy. She soon lost a sense of where she was and fell back on her bed, making circular motions, growing ever more forceful. In her mind, the sock that she had used as a phallic accessory transformed to flesh and she imagined feeling an erect penis jutting out above a pair of tightening testicles between her legs. She pulled down her Y-fronts and with two fingers began massaging her clit as if it were a penis. As she did so, she imaged feeling her balls tightening. She looked down between her legs and saw the bright white cotton of her Y-Fronts, the waistband with words JOCKEY on them. Soon it was all too much as her legs bucked and she moaned with pleasure as the crest of her orgasm was reached.

Taking a deep breath Geraldine tried to regain her composure. She lay there feeling an ethereal glow about her. She closed her eyes to savour it only to be brought back to life by the summoning of her cuckoo clock at 1.30.

"Damn I gotta get moving. " Geraldine thought. "Still, that was verrrry nice"

She felt the slick wetness of her orgasm between her legs. She covered in a thin film of perspiration.

"Hmm.. I think I have just enough time to take another shower! I sure need it!" she said.

"Mustn't forget the aftershave I bought, either!"

She made a mental note to buy more boys’ underwear.

After she had showered, Geraldine continued dressing, every so often glancing at her reflection. Yes, she thought, she was becoming quite a boy.

Across town in Yorkville, Tommy paced the floor nervously minding the minute hand on his watch. "2.25! Where is he?" he thought.

Geraldine knocked at the door to his office. Tommy gasped a sigh of relief and let her in.

"Is he here yet?" she asked.

"He's due any minute. Do you need to warm up?" Tommy asked as he sat behind the piano.

"Sure. Give me some scales"

Geraldine began doing some la-las up and down the musical scale as Mickey Martell walked in, with Steve, the leatherman at his side.

"I'm likin' what I'm hearin' babe. But can he sing? Anyone can do this la-la stuff." Mickey asked.

"Oh, Mickey, this is Gerry Shoreman. Gerry this is Mickey Martell, and er, Steve."

Geraldine extended her hand in greeting, but soon regretted the action as Mickey grabbed it and gave it a good squeeze. Steve stood off to side and eyed her up. Something in the look on Steve's face indicated a certain amount of displeasure.

"Look Tommy, do you think that your boy there can sing one of my creations"

Tommy had never known that Mickey could write songs. "Well, I don't know, why don't we stick with something familiar for the aud..."

Geraldine cut Tommy off. "I'm sure I can, Mr Martell"

"It's Mickey, please." Mickey said as he turned on an almost flirtatious charm.

The veins in Steve's neck began to bulge.

Tommy took the sheet music from Mickey and began to play. The discord that arose from the piano was unbelievable. Now he wasn’t sure that Mickey couldn’t write songs.

"I don't know Mickey. Gerry's not familiar with this sort of, er, complex melody."

"Yeah, it is kinda complex but its simpler wit da words. Why not let the boy try it." Mickey proposed.

Geraldine looked over Tommy’s shoulder and began to sing...

"He's a cutie, he's a beauty, a real reet-pa-tootie. He keeps me warm at night; he won't run off to fly a kite, when he leaves his butt's an awesome sight. Oh how I love that guy of mine"

Tommy winced a bit. "Uh, yeah, okay. I think we get the picture. You can stop now Gerry." He then silently added, "PLEASE!"

"Yeah, that’s real nice. Real nice. Your little twinky boy there really knows his way around a good song. But a little practice makes perfect."

"Oh I don’t know if practice can help this one" Tommy replied.

Geraldine jumped in "Yeah, it is almost as good as it’s ever going to get."

Mickey reached over and touched Geraldine on the shoulder. "You got good taste, twinky boy" he said.

"Thank you Mr Mar, er Mickey" she replied.

"That sure is some cute twink you have found Tommy. Are you sure you ain’t one of us?" Mickey asked.

Tommy looked over. There was a certain indecipherable cuteness about Gerry. "Er, no, I mean yes, I mean, hey, I just find em."

"I may just try to make a move if you aren’t careful" Mickey observed.

Geraldine moved a little closer to Tommy. Having Mickey Martell think she was a boy was one thing, but him making a move on her thinking she was a gay guy was another.

Steve the leatherman saw what was going on and leapt into the fray.

"Mr Martell, we have to go pick up our liquor order for the club from the liquor control board, don’t we?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah. You’re right" Mickey turned to Tommy. "Why don’t you and twinky boy here go up to my private hideaway on Georgian Bay in Parry Sound. You can practice a bit"

Mickey gave Tommy a wink.

"That’s awfully kind of you sir" Geraldine replied.

"Yeah, Mickey but.."

"No buts, at least none except for his" Mickey laughed as he reached around and slapped Geraldine on the rear. "I’ll call my associates and get the place prepared"

He scribbled out the directions on a piece of paper. "Here. Head up on Friday afternoon. Twinky boy, you headline on Saturday night."

Mickey pinched Geraldine’s cheek.

"Nice and smooth. I like smooth twinks" he said.

"We had better get going Mr Martell" Steve persisted.

"Alright already. He’s worse than a wife, eh?" Mickey observed as he and Steve turned to leave.

As the door closed, Tommy breathed a sigh of relief.

"You did it kid!"

"I guess I did. I really did" Geraldine said as she rubbed her cheek.

"Okay, meet me at the cottage at 3 on Friday. We’ll go over some numbers, do some choreography, and you’ll be set for Saturday evening. Got it?"

"Got it." Geraldine answered as she plotted out the tasks ahead. She’d have to stop and get some jeans and shirts, oh, and more underwear.

Tommy looked at her. There was something about her. He couldn’t quite help it. He knew he wasn’t gay, but still he found himself attracted to Gerry. "Ah, you aren’t, are you?" he asked.

"Aren’t what?" Geraldine asked.

"Er, gay? Not that it matters, I mean, I believe that people should be free to love whoever they want to and everyone should be treated with respect and equally and…"

"Tom, I can assure you. I am NOT gay," Geraldine asked. Then silently added, "but I do like boys."

When Friday arrived, Geraldine met Tommy at the cottage on Georgian Bay. Strange feelings and thoughts went through her mind as she made the 250 kilometer drive from Aldershot to Parry Sound. There was an excitement brought about by pulling this ruse off. She had stopped for gas at a Petro Canada station in Oakville and no one had given her a second thought. When she used the men’s washroom at a service centre along the 400, she was trembling with sexual excitement inside. But still, no one even gave her a suspicious glance. It was as if the heavenly hand of the late Billy Tipton was protecting her.

Then there was Tommy. He had a boyish charm that attracted her. Normally as a girl, she’d try to wear something alluring and feminine to attract him. She knew darn well that she couldn’t do that. She settled for a pair of guy’s jeans and a shirt that would at least make her look incredibly handsome.

Tommy and Geraldine rehearsed all afternoon. They did a mix of pop dance hits and show tunes, tunes that Geraldine had longed to be doing on stage. She had never dreamed that she be doing them as a guy though.

When evening rolled around, Tommy fixed a supper of spaghetti and raided Mickey’s wine cellar for a bottle of his finest ice wine. An autumnal chill filled then cottage and Tommy started a fire in the fireplace. Another bottle of wine was opened, and both he and Geraldine loosened up. She looked at him with a bit of longing in her eyes. If she made a move, he’d back away. If she betrayed his beliefs, she’d lose the gig. That, she realised most assuredly, meant that that he’d end up in deep deep trouble. Yet, she had to snag him.

"So, Tommy, no girlfriend, no wife?" Geraldine asked. "How’s come?"

"Just haven’t had time. Look kid, sometimes showbiz just snags us and owns us. Then, we find that there is no way out. Know what I mean"

Geraldine thought about her own situation. "Yeah, I know. But what about Tommy? What does he want?"

"Tommy? Ah heck, he just wants that one big break so that he can move away from the rat race of Toronto. Maybe do some theatre in small cities like Timmins, up north."

"There’s a lot of talent there. Take Shania Twain. She’s from Timmins." Geraldine pointed out.

"Yeah, who’d have thunk it? That in the rough interior of northern Ontario, you’d find a talent like hers"

"Sometimes you have to dig below the surface. All is not what it appears to be" Geraldine observed hoping that Tommy would get the message.

The wine continued to flow and as the embers of the fire dimmed, Tommy and Geraldine soon fell asleep. The room took on a bit of a chill as the fire died. As she was drifting out to slumberland, Geraldine snuggled closer and placed her arms around Tommy. She hadn’t felt this type of inner warmth in along time.

Meanwhile, Tommy was also waxing and waning between reality and the territory of morpheus. Sleepily he glanced at the arms around him. He shook his head, and tried to sort out the fact that this snoozing guy next to him had his arms around him. The haziness caused by the alcohol allowed him only the strength to move Geraldine’s arms. It must be a dream he thought. "Still", he thought, "I don’t really mind the thought of having Gerry curled up next to me. I feels right."

The 7 AM sunlight glinted across the bay and lit the room waking Tommy with its brightness. He glanced over to see that Gerry wasn’t next to him.

"What a weird night" he thought, spying two empty wine bottles in front of him.

The urgency in his bladder coupled with a pounding in his head precluded any other sorting fact from supposition. He wobbly came to his feet, placed his hand on his forehead and nodded, letting out a groan before taking some gentle but hurried steps to the bathroom. Without thinking, he flung the door open.

As if the pounding in his head wasn’t bad enough, his senses were now assaulted with the sight of Geraldine. It was sort of the Gerry he knew, wearing only a pair of white Fruit of the Loom fly front briefs, but with small cup breasts. Tommy’s eyes moved from Geraldine’s small breasts down to the words FRUIT OF THE LOOM and yellow and blue stripe around the waistband of her boy’s briefs to the lack of a bulge in the front of them.

Tommy grabbed his head and began moaning "Oh no .. Oh no .. you can’t be .. you are .. Oh no oh no. I can’t be .. I am .. I am going to be made into little Tommy bits."

Geraldine rushed over to him as he slumped on the floor. "I'm sorry! I really am, Tommy. Please oh please understand it was the only way I could land a job on stage. All the theatres said I was too tomboy-ish."

With a forlorn look his eyes Tommy looked at her. "Oh sure, I’ll just say, Mickey, Gerry is really a girl. I’m a dead Tommy. Call a funeral director and make an appointment for me, will ya."

Geraldine placed her hand on his cheek. "No, Tommy it’ll be okay. Look, I like you and won’t let anything happen to you."

"Oh that explains it all, like me finding you with your arms around me last night. Either this is a dream and that ice wine was bad or I'm a dead Tommy. Call the Toronto Star"

"The Toronto Star? Why?" Geraldine asked.

"So that they can start work on my obituary"

"No! Don’t worry Tommy. Mickey already thinks I’m a cute boy. He’s been fooled. We'll pull it off, you’ll see!" Geraldine said confidently.

"Yeah sure we will, if Mickey doesn't pull mine off first." Tommy replied sarcastically.

"C’mon, we can rehearse a bit more and get the act perfect. He’ll never know. Besides I can sing that stinky song of his, and he’ll be putty in your hands"

"I just hope the exact opposite doesn’t happen."

"You need a coffee. Plus, some eggs souffle. Eggs and good strong coffee" Geraldine got up and pulled on a T-shirt. "I’ll get some perking."

Tommy joined her in the kitchen. As the caffeine worked its magic, his brain began to clear out. One thought wouldn’t budge. Tommy couldn’t help but feel a certain thrill inside at seeing Geraldine in just boy’s undies and a T-shirt. There was a cuteness, a rebellious tomboy aura about the way she looked. The way the masculinity of the fly front of her underwear curving flat between her legs enhanced her femininity. He smiled

Geraldine noticed his stares. It made her feel good inside. Someone finally wanted her because wasn’t all girly girl.

"C’mon. Drink your coffee, and lets get to work" she ordered. "The stage awaits, and the show must go on"

Later that evening in Toronto, Geraldine and Tommy arrived at the club. Walking from the car Geraldine looked over at Tommy. "You okay, Tommy"

"At least my head isn’t pounding anymore" Tommy answered. Before entering the club he stopped.

"Wait. Look at me." He turned Geraldine around to face him. He adjusted her suit, straightened her tie, and fixed her hair. "You ready?"

"You bet. How about you?" she asked.

Tommy gulped. "I suppose."

"We’ll do it. You’ll see" Geraldine reached over and gave him a kiss. She then reached over and took Tommy’s hand and placed it in the bulge created by the balled up sock stuffed down the front of boy’s fly-front briefs.

Unbeknownst to them, Steve the leatherman was looking out a second storey window observing all the action.

Upon entering the club they went up to Mickey’s office.

"Tommy, welcome! It’s the big night. The premiere of my song." Mickey turned to Geraldine. "You do it good twinky boy, okay?"

"Sure Mickey, sure, I’ll do it good" Geraldine answered.

"Tommy, why don’t you go check out that the backstage boys have the sound right. Twinky boy and me can get to know each other"

"Oh I don’t know. We don't want Geral.., er Gerry to be all ruffled for the show."

"Don’t worry babe, I’ll be nice. Now go" Mickey ordered.

Tommy looked over at Geraldine.

"I’ll be okay, Tommy. Don’t worry" Geraldine observed.

Reluctantly Tommy left for the stage.

Mickey sat on the sofa next to Geraldine. "Okay, twinky boy. Let’s get to know each other." Mickey began to massage Geraldine’s shoulders.

"Man, you are all knots. A little pre-show jitters, maybe?" he asked.

"I suppose" Geraldine answered.

"I have just the thing. Take a few minutes out and relax in my hot tub. Just the two of us. Nice and cozy like" Mickey offered.

"Gee Mickey, I don’t know. I don’t have any other clothes."

"Ah, don’t worry boychick". Mickey got up and went into the adjacent room. When he returned he was carrying a swimmer’s jockstrap and a Speedo swimsuit.

"Here. Get undressed. You can wear these," he said as he handed them to Geraldine. She looked at the jockstrap. For the first time she felt as if she carried her deception too far. There was no denying the maleness of the garment she was about to wear."

Mickey began to undo his pants. "C’mon. We can relax in the tub together"

"I can’t Mickey. I’m, I’m a …" Geraldine began to stutter and Mickey’s eyes grew to small slits. "I’m a bit superstitious. You know, stage superstitions. I never let anyone see me change clothes before a show"

"Oh yeah. You stage folk are a bit queer in that way" Mickey pointed out then laughed. "A bit queer, geddit?" he laughed.

"Okay, I’ll change in the other room. I’ll be back in a moment"

"Whew!" thought Geraldine. "If I can stall long enough till Tommy gets back" Slowly she began to undress. She undid her tie and then unbuttoned her shirt before sitting on the chesterfield to take off her shoes and socks.

"Are you ready yet?" Mickey called out from the next room.

"Not quite" she yelled back. "Just a minute or so more."

Geraldine undid her trousers and folded them carefully next to her suit jacket. Making sure that no one was looking she pulled off her Fruit of the Looms, and folded them next to her trousers. Wearing just her athletic shirt she picked up the jockstrap.

"C’mon, twinky boy!" Mickey hollered.

Geraldine replied back. "One more minute"

Taking a deep breath she pulled the jockstrap up her legs. She adjusted the straps of her jock around the cheeks of her butt. Looking down at the sight of her flat girlish crotch in jockstrap she felt that excited feeling in her stomach again. Snapping out of it she quickly stuffed the balled up sock down the front and was pulling on the Speedo just as Mickey, wearing only a jockstrap, barged into the room.

"I couldn’t wait any longer twinky boy," he said announcing his entrance. Before she knew what was happening, Mickey began kissing her. His hand moved southward and he began rubbing the sock that made the bulge in Geraldine’s jockstrap.

Tommy opened the door to Mickey’s office and witnessed the spectacle before him. He ran to the adjacent office and alerted Steve, the leatherman.

"Steve, hurry, quick!" he yelled.

Steve burst into the room, just as Mickey fell on top of Geraldine on the couch. In one quick and deliberate move, Steve grabbed a phone book and clonked Mickey over the head with it.

"Hey! What’s that for" Mickey demanded.

"That … is for that," Steve said pointing to Geraldine. He then swung the phone book at Mickey’s head again.

"Alright already! I get the picture. Sheesh! Steve, I didn't know you cared." Mickey noted.

"Why do you think I put up with you, you big lug" Steve answered as he hugged Mickey. "There, there, I’ll make it all better"

"No more clonks with the phone book" Mickey pleaded.

"No more clonks with the phone book" Steve answered.

In the meantime Geraldine had jumped to her feet and stood next to Tommy.

"Hurry, get changed so that you can go on." He ordered as he grabbed her clothes from the sofa. He pulled her into the other room.

Geraldine pulled off the Speedo and stood in just her jockstrap sorting through her clothes for her fly-front briefs.

"My underwear. Its not here." She said frantically.

Tommy looked at her. She didn’t look half-bad in that jockstrap he thought. "They must be on the couch. No time. Just wear the jock. Hurry!"

With a fully developed sense of urgency Geraldine quickly dressed. In the other room, Steve calming down a ruffled Mickey, soothing the lump on his head.

When Geraldine finished dressed, Tommy leaned forward to give her a kiss.

"Break a leg, fella" he said.

Geraldine then grabbed him and planted a big kiss on his lips, and their tongues began to intertwine just as Mickey appeared at the doorway.

"Its showtime …hey what the …" he bellowed.

"No time." Tommy said as he grabbed Geraldine and headed toward the stage.

Turning to the soundman he ordered "Hit it!"

The lights went up and Geraldine took to the stage as the pre-recorded backing track to Mickey’s song began.

"He's a cutie, he's a beauty, a real reet-pa-tootie. He keeps me warm at night; he won't run off to fly a kite, when he leaves his butt's an awesome sight. Oh how I love that guy of mine"

She was just about to get to the chorus when Mickey ran out on stage. He was wearing only a robe and a jockstrap. A chorus of oohs and ahs rose from the audience.

"Stop the music. Hold it everyone!" he barked. "I have a very important announcement."

The audience hushed and a tense silence fell upon the club.

"I have been deceived. I have been horridly mistaken in something. Tommy, get out here. Steve, you too. Both of you, now!" Mickey demanded.

A knot grew in Tommy’s stomach. Being a support beam on a bridge on the Queen E wouldn’t be so bad, he thought.

Looking over at Tommy, Mickey continued. "My first mistake was with you Tommy, babe. I didn't know that you was one of us. And I'd never muscle in on your fella. Steve explained it all to me."

Mickey placed his arm around Tommy’s shoulders and guided him over to Geraldine. "You got a real cutie there in twinky boy. Don’t lose him."

Turning to Steve, Mickey grabbed his hand. "Start the music again" he ordered.

Mickey began his crooning his heart out in earnest, as Steve looked on with puppy dog eyes.

Tommy leaned over to Geraldine "Let’s get out of here. I can't stand it."

"I agree! Let’s get while the getting is good"

As they ran along the backstage hallway, Tommy paused, "What say we run off for the weekend. Remember my dream about doing theatre around Timmins. Well, I have I have a cottage up there. Let’s go plan our dreams."

Geraldine looked him and pouted. "I dunno, I'll have to stop at home to pick up some clothes."

"I like what you have on now" Tommy pointed out. "Besides, I hear that Wal*Mart has a sale in their men’s department this weekend, and that includes their men's Fruit of the Loom undies. There's one along the 400 in Barrie. Okay with you, Gerry, er, that is your name, isn’t it"

Geraldine giggled, "It is now."