I started to put on the skirt, and I was so excited that I became aroused, and then I had a complication. “Too bad Jeff’s not here to help you,” Dawn said with a smile. My body shook and I further embarrassed myself.

Dawn says, “I’m sorry but my mom warned me this might happen depending on how much you liked being a girl. She said you shouldn’t be embarrassed. You are just excited about being a girl.” Dawn told me to take off my panties and pantyhose and to clean myself. She went and called her mother who came back in and asked me to be seated as she had to get something.

Mrs. Miller speaks in a caring voice and carrying something in her hand, “Oh darling, your date wore this a few years ago when he was smaller. If you want to look like a pretty girl, this will complete your look and keep your little friend in his place”. She had me lay back as she lightly put powder and a gaff on me. She glued the gaff in place and blended in the edges. I now appeared and felt like a girl in every way. Except my body didn't have the physical feelings like a girl.

I finished dressing and went out to visit with their family. Dawn has two younger sisters who were excited about meeting Jeff’s date. It was fun to have two younger girls fussing over me as another girl.

There was a knock at the door and Jeff came into the house. He came over, taking my hand, he asks me to spin around. I spun around and Jeff pull me to him, and told me, "You're beautiful." I looked up as he had decided to kiss me. It was not a big kiss but I willingly took part and melted in his arms. Dawn was happy for both of us.

Jazmine and Cassie were told to calm down and not say anything. I wanted to run to Dawn’s room but I took three deep breaths and stayed wrapped in Jeff’s arms. It was close to six when my mother called to wish me well on my date. I hesitated in saying thanks, and then my mom asked if Jeff was already there. When I said, "Yes." She asked, "Did something happened?" I wouldn't say a thing.

Mom asked to talk to Mrs. Miller, who told mom that we kissed. I overheard, “No, she kissed him as well. It was not that much, more like saying hello. It was just something that happened naturally. She has been excited since she got here. She has been a good young lady every step of the way.” Mrs. Miller walked out of the room as she continued to visit with my mother.

Mrs. Miller soon returned my phone and went back to the kitchen to finish making dinner. I got up and followed her, Jeff followed me, but Mrs. Miller told him it was a women’s moment. He smiled and left. I blurted out, “I didn’t mean to kiss him".

Mrs. Miller took my hand and shared, “Young woman, I am more than happy to be here for you. But I think you need to be honest with me and yourself. You may not have planned to kiss him when it happened. I do think you meant it as you kissed him.”

I say, “I’m sorry, you are right, I just don’t think I should have kissed him. Can I ask, what you and my mom talked about?”

She said, “Let me finish getting dinner ready then if you want we can talk alone. I would be more than willing to visit with you.” I look at the meal she was preparing and I wasn’t sure which I want to do more to eat or talk.

“You can grab a small plate and we can talk and eat out here in the kitchen.” She smiled knowing she read my mind correctly. When dinner was served, Jeff went back home and I got a plate of food and followed Mrs. Miller to a small nook off the kitchen. “Danica, please call me Susan, I am more like an aunt, and not your mother.”

“Aunt Susan what did you and my mom talk about?”

She openly said, “We talked about you and Jeff. I assured your mother the kiss was innocent. Then she asked me if you were safe with Jeff. I joked and shared I did not know if you were safe but I knew Jeff would not hurt you.”

I ask, “What’s the difference between being safe and hurt?”

“Like I told your mother, Jeff’s a red-blooded boy and you're a pretty girl. What you do is your choice, but I know Jeff will not force you to do anything. He also suspects you haven’t been with another boy. He knows how the first time might feel and I'm sure he would try hard not hurt to you.”

I ask, “You don’t think Jeff would do anything with me?”

“Danica, Jeff’s like a son and I know he likes you a real lot. He has thought of someone like you for a long while. I suspect he is excited about taking you on a date.”

I'm a bit surprised and say, “He wouldn’t want to make out with me, would he? You wouldn’t let him would you?”

“Danica, I am not going to be with you. Truthfully, if someone like you were willing, my hope would be you'd enjoyed yourselves and that it be something special for both of you. If you say no, Jeff will understand. I expect him to kiss and hug you but I think you are ready for that. If you take it slow both of you should be safe with one another tonight.”

Dawn came in and that ended our discussion. Dawn shared a little of her perfume. “Don’t let Jeff nibble your ear or it will drive you both wild.” I put some perfume on my neck just to upset her but she laughed instead. Zach, Dawn’s boyfriend, stopped to pick us up as Jeff came over. The choice was between the movies or a sports/amusement area.

Dawn took me aside and shared other than being in the dark with Jeff, we would have less time together. She also said it would be a good experience doing things as a girl. I agreed to go to the sports arcade. It took a half-hour to get there and we only did the first two things together as two couples.

Getting into a car with a boy beside me was a new experience. Dawn quickly spoke up and said we will talk about getting into the car later. I looked at Jeff and he had a knowing smile.

I was surprised at how having breasts and a bra on changed, how I moved. There's a practice driving range. The way I first hit the golf ball, I appeared to be clueless. It was different to swing a golf club with breasts. Jeff helped me with swinging the golf club as well as shooting arrows with a bow. His reaching around me to help, got us both excited. He noticed the perfume on my neck and gave me a peck and nibbled my earlobe any chance he got. Like Dawn said, it excited me.

We had just gotten off a roller coaster ride when a young boy got sick and barfed on me. Dawn helped me to the women’s room and we washed it off. I was now wet, and still a bit smelly, so we decided to go back home. We were an hour and a half before curfew.

Jeff and I agreed to take a walk and let Dawn have some time with Zach. The first time around the block was nice but I wanted to sit and talk. We started on Jeff’s front porch, but went inside, after someone in the neighborhood commented I was pretty. I didn’t like the idea of others seeing us.

Jeff shared his parents weren’t there and I said I felt safe with him. Jeff turned on some slow music and we danced. This time when Jeff kissed his mouth opened up, and I soon allowed his tongue between my lips. I enjoyed it when his tongue found mine. Jeff’s hand slid down the back of my skirt as I stood on my toes. It was just after 11 when Jeff said he better take me back before he went too far.

I put my arms around his neck and gave him a big kiss. Jeff swung me half around and his hands were now between my legs. Jeff was feeling me and instead of being repulsed, I liked it. I wasn't worried about Jeff stopping when he should. I was worried about not asking Jeff to stop.

I was right to be worried for while he was gentle, he expected me to stop him. He kissed at the side of my neck, the back of my ear, and more passionately than before. It felt nice, but it also made me feel quite uncomfortable. I finally spoke up and asked him to stop. He was a bit upset so I unbuttoned part of my blouse. I allowed him to touch me as we continued to kiss.

It was 11:35 when Jeff walked me to the porch at Dawn’s house. I sent Jeff home and stayed waiting for Dawn to get back. Dawn and I talked and compared notes for a little while.

She smiled as she asked how much happened. When I told her nothing, she laughed, “Didn’t my mother tell you, we are here for you but don’t lie? Jeff’s my best friend; I just want to make sure you two are okay.” When Dawn paused I told her we were safe and nobody got hurt. I was almost in tears when I admitted, "It almost went too far."

“He does love you. Mom told me if you let a boy make love with you won’t be a little girl anymore?” She took me and we walked into the house. She took me to her room and said she would help me get ready for bed. I thought she would take off my makeup but she said she would only show me. She shows me a couple of spots I missed.

She had me take a shower but told me to let her know when I had the hair conditioner in my hair. I waited and rinsed it out and shut off the water. Dawn opened the door and began to spread Nair on my legs. She shaved under my arms and told me to make sure I rinsed everything off well. I was getting excited until she pushed me back and turned on the cold water. “That is to remind you, you’re my best friend’s girlfriend.”

I was lying awake as Dawn was now taking a shower. Mrs. Miller came in to check on us and say goodnight. She asked how we were? I explained, “I don’t know, she pushed me into the shower like she didn’t even notice me.” As we talked Dawn had dried herself and changed into her pajamas in front of me. Shortly after Dawn came back in the room, Aunt Susan asked again how things went and Dawn said, “I took a shower and she didn’t even notice me when I dried myself off out here.”

Mrs. Miller first spoke to me “Danica, you look just like another girl to Dawn. I am sorry but I would have thought my daughter would be much more attractive to a boy.”

“I did get excited but she pushed me back into the shower and turned on the cold water.” Mrs. Miller laughed, but I didn't understand why.

“So was Jeff nice to you? I am surprised he did not do more than walk you home.”

“Jeff was nice to me.” She came over and hugged me.

“I hope you all had a good time. It is good that you and Jeff got to know each other before the prom.” Dawn gave me a teddy bear to hold. She and her mom both tucked me into bed and kissed me. Dawn’s mother tucked her in, kissed her, and turned out the light as she left the room.

Dawn was soon sitting on my bed and I sat up as we were talking. I said I wanted to cry, but she told me I had to cry like a girl in case her sisters were listening. I told her I didn’t know how, but she asked me to hug my bear and talk some more. Sure enough, I was soon talking and crying to my teddy bear like a girl. I shared a little more than Dawn or I expected. I felt a tingle of warmth between my legs and said it wasn’t like a boy.

The next morning we were allowed to sleep in and when I got up there was another nice outfit for me to put on. “Come on Danica, we need to go to church.”

“But I can’t…” Just then Mrs. Miller came in and spoke up, “God knows who you are and you need to be comfortable with God.” We went to church and then out to dinner.

It was 3:30 before we got back. I was going to change at Dawn’s before I went home. I was told neither the girls nor the neighbors were to know about me. Jeff stopped over and gave me a kiss and hug before my ride home had come.

When we arrived at my house I said thanks as I ran into the house and up to my room. I was hoping no one would see me. Mom was soon in and talked to me. I had begun to change and Mom suggested I stop. She asked about the date and I told most of what we did and about the little boy getting sick on me.

When she asked what I did with Jeff, I told her she was not supposed to ask. “I meant if he gave you a goodnight kiss or how it felt to have a boy hold you. I didn’t expect things to get any further than that.”

I apologized and shared “Yes, you already knew he kissed me. It felt nice to be in his arms. When he was with me and held me, I felt like I was his girl.”

Mom’s eyes rose a little in concern but didn't express much. She said “I suspect he saw a very pretty girl in his arms. I don’t know how to say this, but I hope you enjoyed yourself, and please know that Danica has a Mom who is here for her. Danica needs to know that.”

I thank her and we hug. Mom asks if she could brush my hair. The next week at school went fast. I asked for Jeff’s prom off at work, but the boss said he couldn’t give it to me. Mom called in and said I needed that Thursday, Friday, and Saturday off.

The next time, when I got to work I was told that my mother told them I quit. I didn’t want to lose my job, but it was my mother’s way of saying I was more important. My department boss was gay so he probably wouldn't have minded if I told him the truth.

Now I had all of Memorial weekend off and the Roberts had a nice outdoor swimming pool. Aunt Susan shared that all my pasted parts and the concealer would hold in water. She said I should enjoy myself. Mom asked Dawn to go shopping with us to help me to shop for swimwear.

I saw a cute sundress that was designed to go over a swimsuit. Mom and Dawn both wanted me to get it but it was too short for my comfort. They did get me to try on another sundress. It looked perfect, but it was as short as the others. Mom insisted that I get one or both.

While we were checking out, Denise a long-time friend from my school was also buying an outfit. When she saw my mother she took a double look at me and smiled. She did not say anything then but did come over to talk. “I saw you model the sundress this weekend.”

I introduced Dawn and my mother as my aunt. Denise shared, “It is okay that you are embarrassed, but please don’t lie. We have been friends for a long time and I deserve better.”

“I apologize, but it has just been the past week that I had the courage and help to dress up.”

Denise giggled in amazement, “You’re telling me you look this pretty and you have been a girl only this week. You don’t have any sisters so it couldn’t have been a prom dress you got caught in.” When our faces change expression Denise knew something was up and demanded the whole story.

We went over to the store to show her the dress I had tried on, as Mrs. Richards greets us. She had just called my house; the seamstress had a question and was hoping I could come back and put on the dress for her. Denise was very excited and asks to stay to see me in the gown. She asked, “Are you going to get to wear it to the prom?”

“No, I wouldn’t have the nerve, plus I would need some guy to invite me.”

“Too bad, if you want I could ask my boyfriend at Middlesex if he knows a guy who might have been willing.”

Dawn spoke up, “You'd be willing to do that for him and keep it a secret?”

Denise said, “I wouldn’t even tell my boyfriend if I didn’t need to. I’ve been in school with Carl since we were kids. I use to feel bad because he got so much grief just being friends with girls. Now he’s usually awkward around girls, many of us girls have trouble with a guy tagging along as a friend.”

Dawn spoke up. “I think I have Danica a date for our prom at Middlesex, but the guy is worried about the grief he would get if people find out she’s a boy.”

“Cute, Danica is it?” Denise responds, “Is that your girl name? I am sorry but with a little coaching in being a girl; I don’t think there is any way someone will guess you are a boy. Danica, you look totally like a girl. You could come over to my house for a slumber party or maybe we could do one at Dawn’s.”

Dawn said, “Mrs. G said he could be Danica this weekend at my house to have the practice.”

Denise spoke up for herself, “I don’t mean to be pushy, but can I be invited. I don’t get many opportunities to see a boy I know living as a girl. We have some at school, but no one is this convincing.”

“I would need to check because her date might be coming over and if we go swimming it would be at his place.”

“Wow! Mrs. G this is a big change, your Danica is already going with a boy to prom. He’s living the dream of a princess.”

I turned to Dawn, “Denise is an honor roll student and I don’t think we have more than two classes together. I have always been surprised when we talked because she seemed so out of my class.”

Denise asks, “How come you never asked me to help you dress like a girl? How did you know to ask Dawn?” I was standing in the gown for the fitter when Denise ran her hand down my side. “So what kind of panty are you wearing? Whatever it is you have chosen well.” I shivered but enjoy her touch.

“We usually let Danica choose, but override her when she's staying away from shorter skirts,” Mom answers.

“Mrs. Richards had me select her panties,” Dawn says.

“So who else knows?”

“Danica’s brothers, parents, Jeff, my mom and me, and now you. O Mrs. Richards who let me know.”

“So is this Jeff the lucky guy; what does he look like?” Dawn said he's a hunk and mom agrees he’s a good-looking young man. “So Danica, what is your opinion on your date? Is Prince Charming good looking?”

I paused and said, “I guess so to a girl.”

“Don’t be coy with us; it is your dream to look like a girl. Danica knows if she sees him as a good looking guy.” Denise pauses and takes my hand, “You need to calmly be able to acknowledge he’s attractive to you. If you say ‘to a girl’ you are going to embarrass both of you. I hope he’s going to take you on a date to practice.”

Dawn, “He took her out last Saturday, up to Bowcraft. She did well until a little boy got sick and threw up on her.” Dawn shared how the big guy helped his date at golf and archery.

Denise says, “That was smart, better than a movie. So how were the hug and kisses?”

“I didn’t say we kissed.”

She says, “No, but you did. And you’re uncomfortable because you liked it.” Luckily the fitting is over; unluckily Denise helps to get me out of the gown, though I kind of like having another girlfriend. “Damn you are pretty even in your underwear.”

“Thanks, I think.” Dawn gave her a piece of paper with her information and invited her, “Come over tomorrow between 3-6 and plan to stay the night.”

It is dinner time when we got home and mom asks me to help her with dinner. I agreed as soon as I changed, Mom told me not to change and gave me an apron instead. Dad's not initially amused, but relaxes and even says, "You make a good girl."

I had two calls before dinner: Jeff and Dawn. Even though I had just seen Dawn hers is the longer of the two calls. Somehow as Danica, it makes sense. I did my share in keeping up the conversation. That evening my mother tells me to take a bubble bath and to make sure to shampoo, rinse, and condition my hair.

She asks if I had shaved my legs. She said I would need to shave everything a couple of times before the prom. I was rinsing out the conditioner when mom came in and put in perfumed oil. The fragrance was very pretty. The oil wasn't heavy, but it made a definite difference with my skin.

I was on the computer when Denise and Dawn each returned from their dates. I called Denise, and she's very happy I called. She said her boyfriend knew a guy named Jeff and he was very good friends with Dawn. He told her a lot of girls would like to trade places with me.

He told Denise, Jeff was their quarterback and many colleges were recruiting him. Denise asked if he was my date for the prom. I just shared I would introduce her to him tomorrow if she came.

I was in bed as Dawn and I were talking on the phone. I laughed as I realized my sheets were now pink. The next morning Mom shared it was an added incentive for Carl to make his bed or need to explain his pink sheets. I went for a jog, did my chores, and did my school work before changing over as Danica.

My mom was ready to take me to Dawn’s, and as we went to the car, a neighbor, Helen came out as my brother had a friend stopover. Mom introduced me to both, as Dan’s cousin and her niece Danica. Helen called us over. Mom went but Helen asked me to come as well. I was worried but I knew she would not do anything to intentionally hurt me or my parents.

Helen exclaimed as she called us into her living room that she had seen me before. She had known of me for six of the years they lived next door. “It was only over time I figured it was you. When I saw you come home last week, you were like a flower blossom and I knew your parents knew as well.” She had me turn around and she put a three-strand white gold necklace on me. “I hope you don’t mind.”

I hugged Helen as I thanked her, but cried “I am not sure I can take it. Hopefully, I won’t dress like a girl after next week.” Helen folded the necklace box into my hand then asks, "What is special about the coming week?" She was happy when we told her there's a prom. “Danica, I am just happy to meet you and would like a picture of you in your prom dress, please.”

I thank her and we were soon on our way to Dawn’s house. Mom commented on how pretty I was, saying the necklace made me look like a young woman. It was a little after 2 p,m. Mom visits with Dawn’s mother as I went with Dawn. Dawn notices the necklace so we got into the jewelry and we were trying various things.

We're called downstairs; seemingly the moms had talked about an upcoming doctor’s appointment for Dawn. My Mom suggested I too needed to see a gynecologist. Aunt Susan said their doctor was Dawn’s aunt. They had called her and she was coming here to examine me.

Dr. Myrt with Susan’s help took off my gaff and examined me. Anticipating my excitement and ejaculation she took a sample of my semen to be examined. She also suggested a hormone blocker for my male hormones and even suggested a booster shot to increase the production of female hormones. They would have but a thirty-day effect unless the treatment was continued.

Dr. Myrt suggested it would enhance my prom experience. Mom and I agreed to her suggestions though I was insistent about remaining a boy. I received a shot of the hormone blocker and another hormone therapy with the requirement I see a therapist of her recommendation in the coming week.

Denise came as we were changing into our swimsuits when Dawn and Denise began to laugh. Dawn shared with Denise, that neither of them excited me when they changed.

Dawn was only partially right. I was excited and did notice them changing. But it was more like I was wishing I had their parts. Denise knew Danica had looked. “So was it our suits or us you were looking at? What was more exciting to see for a new girl?”

“I am sorry Dawn but I did look. I saw you two changing and the reason I wasn’t reacting heavily as Carl because I was watching as Danica. I was distracted seeing women like Danica wants to be.” Dawn and Denise paused, amused by what I said. “I (meaning Carl) would like to date either of you or girls in general, but my first date was as Danica with Jeff.” Denise starts to brush my hair and Carl fades until just Danica's there.

Dawn gave me a light touch of Juicy Couture. It's as the fragrance passes over me that only Danica's there. Dawn and Denise grab my hands and we trot over to Jeff’s. Jeff, another boy, and his parents are there. Jeff's confused at first seeing three girls, wondering where I was.

Jeff smiles as he recognized me and held out his arms for a hug. He kissed me on the cheek. Then he introduced me to his parents, Marie and John, and his friend. I was clueless about what to do as I was planning to dive into the pool.

Dawn called me back, saying I needed sun protection and that she needed to say something. “Danica, we were here more to be social and girls, less about swimming.” Denise helped with my face and neck as I did my legs and front.

The others seemed busy when I needed the tanning lotion on my back. Jeff was ready and willing to help when I realized that is the way it should have been.

Marie and John saw me as Danica and seemed very happy to see Jeff having a good time. They had gone back into the house but around 4:30 Marie asked for my help in bringing food out. She was pleased when I knew my way around a kitchen and picked up things like napkins, glasses without extra instruction.

She showed me around their house and was happy when I said Jeff took after her and her mother. She commented that she was pleased he grew up enough that his fine features were no longer a problem. I stated, “I wonder if those fine features surprise anyone when they find out how strong and powerful he is. He does have a nice touch that a girl can appreciate.”

It took over a half hour before we were back outside. I took some food as most of the others had their food. I was hungry but took smaller portions. Dawn comments on my having an appropriate plate for a girl going to the prom.

I agree, stating, "I don’t want to look like I need to be stuff into my prom dress." Denise asks to see a picture of my gown suspecting I didn’t have one. Both I and Dawn have pictures on our cell phones. A couple of the guys joked and only Jeff and Marie were interested enough to look.

Denise and Dawn showed pictures of their gowns as well. Jeff’s mother asks him if he had picked out a corsage for me, stating she had a suggestion. It was seven and Zach had shown up for Dawn and Denise’s boyfriend had called and would soon be over.

Dawn, another girl Cheryl and I went for a swim as the guys were throwing around a baseball, then a football. Jeff threw me the football while I was in the pool. I jumped to catch it but I failed to hold onto it as I came back down into the water. Jeff dove into the water. When he came up, I was on his shoulders. It was quite exhilarating, but I got a little nervous as Jeff wanted to climb out of the pool with me on his shoulders.

Dawn tells him, “While Danica is not heavy for the ladder; with you added it would not be safe to try. Jeff fell backward into the water. I was both surprised and stunned when I hit the water. Jeff was hugging me in his arms and apologizing before I remember anything. I made a fist and was about ready to hit him. I remembered and I hit him like a girl.

It was 8 p.m. when Jeff got a phone call. It was from the head football coach at Syracuse. I got next to Jeff and was loud enough for the coach to hear me over the phone. I said, “That better not be another girlfriend or I will not be going to the prom with you.” Jeff smiled, laughed, and then apologized to the coach.

Jeff shared he was interested in Syracuse, but wanted to visit the next school before he made a final decision. I was still next to Jeff when I began to cry. Jeff asked the coach to hold as he asked why I was crying. “I know we just started dating, but, sadly, you could be so far away.” Jeff hugged me and asked Dawn to help me.

Dawn thought at first I was acting. The others had gone home shortly after Jeff’s call ended. Jeff and I were again in the pool, as Zach, Dawn, and Denise were all visiting. Jeff was getting more and more affectionate and we were both getting excited. I surprised myself as I slipped one hand down and out of sight to fondle Jeff.

I thought it would be gross, but found myself liking the touch. He was soon getting hard. He gave me a big kiss, opening his mouth. His tongue was soon in my mouth as I received him. Dawn excused herself and the others so we could have time alone.

She reminds me I better be home within the hour. Jeff wanted me in the worse way, but I was not ready. I shared I wanted to be loved and not just be had. He said he hoped for that opportunity.

He wanted to hug and squish his body up against me. When I got home just before 10, Denise and Dawn were playing Twister. Dawn’s mom was spinning the arrow. They were already stretching quite a bit when the next spin had Dawn leaning backward and Denise had to reach over her.

Their bodies were touching and each was in the face of the other. It looked like they could be kissing when Dawn asked her mom what she should do. Her mom responds, “You’ve wondered what it would be like, if it happens it happens.”

Denise and Dawn both smiled and Dawn brought an arm over to hold Denise, saying, “I surrender.” She pulled Denise down and they found themselves kissing. Dawn apologized as did Denise. Denise was the first to share; she never kissed a girl and hadn’t been attracted to other girls.

Dawn was saying the same, when Denise interrupted, “I hope you aren’t sorry you kissed me because I wasn’t saying that”. Aunt Susan got up and tapped me to follow her. Dawn and Denise were left with one another to continue as we left the room.

Susan suggested I shower and get ready for bed. When I finished and was out drying off Denise came back into the room. She enjoyed my discomfort as I finished drying and put on my nightgown. Denise took to rubbing my back and brushing my hair.

Dawn came in as Denise was heading to the shower. Her mom looked into the room but did not stay.

I ask, what was up and who was sleeping where? Dawn told me she was starting on the floor, I was sleeping where I slept before and Denise was sleeping in her bed. Dawn went on to say, “My mom thinks I might end up in bed with Denise. But if we end up pouncing on you; you have to remain as Danica.”

It took me a minute to absorb all the implications of what she's saying. Dawn, “I joked with my mom that I needed a dildo” Curtly it came out that Susan and Robert have used one. I did not know what a dildo was thus I did not understand what was being said.

This time Dawn undressed to take her shower as Denise came back drying herself. I was mindful to enjoy the two in their full splendor. Dawn became very self-conscious, and Denise seemed to enjoy being looked at. We visited about the day, our thoughts and feelings until after 1:00 a.m.

After Dawn turns out the light, she continues to visit with Denise. I hear them talk and kiss, but seemed to do little more before I fell asleep. I had another girl's dream but this was the first time I dreamt of Jeff. I woke up just at the time we were making love and he was ready to enter me.

When I woke and I made my way to the toilet, I could see Dawn and Denise together in bed, each with an arm around the other. When I came back into the bedroom, Dawn had gotten up and was gone. I found a robe and made my way down to the kitchen.

Susan, Mr. Miller, and Dawn were there and I was able to hear them as I came down the stairs. Susan spoke about her counsel to Dawn as Dawn expressed the thought of being bad and guilty for being attracted to Denise.

“Once I came into the house and thought dad was wearing hip-hugging jeans. I felt strange because the next time I saw him he was wearing his regular clothes. Then months later you two were going to a costume event and dad was a very convincing woman. You came home bragging you had a very good time. I thought maybe Dad was different like Jeff.

Now I wonder if I am different. I feel like Monday I am going to wake up and everything will have gone back to normal; except for Jeff.”

Susan calmly spoke, “What if you wake up and your dad does dress for his feminine side or if you would like to kiss Denise again.”

“I caught your dad in my clothes once, instead of thinking of him different or odd I helped him to do it better. We both enjoy him at times being Roberta."

I don’t think you are becoming a lesbian, but that you and Denise enjoyed each other is not unusual. I think most women have feelings whether they act on them or not.” Dawn was surprised to learn of her dad. Her mom went on sharing more with Dawn. You know we even thought of getting Roberta pregnant.”

I had made my way back up a few steps and made my way back down making it a bit noisier. The Millers greeted me when I got into the kitchen. Mr. Miller commented on how nice I looked. As he got up and was leaving the room, he commented he needed to go and change.

Cassie had just come into the room and asked him if he was going to dress like a woman. Aunt Susan just laughed.

Jeff stopped over and wanted to take the three Ds to breakfast. Dawn liked the idea but said we were not getting dressed up. She told him we would be ready in thirty minutes. Each of us had a simple sundress we would wear. I guess not dressing up meant sandals and no pantyhose.

Our makeup was light and my hair was casually brushed out. Once again I found myself eating light. Jeff enjoyed himself being seen out with three girls. Usually, we were holding hands, but occasionally he had an arm around me.

When we got back Jeff needed to do something and would not be home until early evening. Mr. Miller asked for help to decorate family graves. I volunteered before I found out neither Dawn nor Denise wanted to go.

I changed into some shorts and a casual top and went. Bob and I had a good time, while most of the graves were in one cemetery they were well scattered. I thanked Bob for being understanding of me and his family helping me. “You must wonder first one guy now a different one dressing and acting like a girl. It must seem strange to another man.”

Bob opened up and shared about himself and being thankful to share with someone like me. “I haven’t ever told Jeff, and before recently we hadn’t shared with Dawn. I too was afraid, but I am very thankful I am who I am and with whom I share my life.”

Bob explained that two of his major contributions at work came when he was dressing at home as Roberta. “I haven’t been with another guy, but I can see how it might be meaningful for you and Jeff.”

I asked if Dawn had seen him as Roberta. He said no, but hoped that would soon change. I asked, “Is it realistic for me to find a woman who loved me in lace and skirts?” Robert asked if he could share about being loved by a woman. It was nice to talk to another person like one’s self.

Denise had gone home and as we settled in for dinner Mr. Miller had changed into a nice skirt and blouse. Both Cassie and Jaz rushed to hug their dad. Dawn was surprised, but seeing I was not offended, she hugged him as well.

Aunt Susan lifted his skirt and gave a little slap on the butt. Susan asked Dawn and me to wash the dishes as she wanted to do Roberta’s nails. We hurried with the dinner dishes and were changed into our swimsuits for going to Jeff’s.

Jeff was home and Zach came over. Jeff was fondling me under the water, sharing how nice I looked and felt in his arms. Dawn wanted to go home but did not want Zach to see her dad the way he was dressed. We stayed for several hours and went back to Dawn’s alone.

Her dad was in a nightgown and robe. We stayed up with her parents until after midnight. Dawn wrapped her arms around me for comfort as we visited.

It was 4:30 in the morning when I woke and Dawn was comforting me as I had a nightmare. My fears about the prom and being discovered were surfacing. Dawn scooted me over and had me go to sleep while she was stroking my hair and back.

I woke a little before Dawn and got into the shower first. I had begun to shampoo my hair; my eyes were closed when Dawn threw a cup of cold water over the partition.

We talked a long time back in her room over a wide range of topics. Including that we had a crush on each other. She asked me not to be offended but to take time to accept and enjoy my full identity.

“You and I are sharing a big week in the life of a girl. It will be different from our boyfriends. I am not going to think of you as Carl this week. Jeff is my best friend and you are his girlfriend and prom date. I won’t do anything to hurt him. He is my best friend and for me, he comes before you.”

She asked if I had some extra money as the mall had some good holiday sales. Mom had called and asked Susan if she would be up to them taking their daughters over to Peddlers’ Village. It was a unique place with a lot of specialty shops laid out like a small village. My family had been there but not the Roberts or myself as Danica.

We went and I found a few hairpins and decorations. I got an apron with a cross-stitch pattern I could do. A woman helped me pick the right ring hoops, needles, and threads to complete it. We were having a good time and were getting ready to leave when we and our moms were approached about us working here during the summer. We received the application information and went home.

Tuesday was a regular day; I was back to myself and it felt good. I did miss the feeling of my girl's clothes. A funny change was I automatically sat on the toilet whenever I needed to pee now.

My Mom called, she would pick me up after school. Danica needed to pick up her dyed shoes and her gown. It was nice to slip back into a pair of panties and pantyhose. The bra hooked behind my back with little trouble. I pulled a yellow blouse over my head and quickly jumped into a blue skirt and soon was ready.

Jenn was surprised to see Danica come for the shoes. They felt as nice as they looked and as Jenn said my boyfriend paid extra to get the best. Mom had us stop and get two pairs of silk stockings.

The next stop was to get the gown. Mrs. Richards was there and my gown was finished. She took me by the hand to try it on once more. She and Mom gently guided it over my head. I felt the goosebumps as my hands went up through the dress and into the chiffon sleeves.

The bare area on the back seemed larger than I remembered. But as the gown was fastened I was delighted. I was moving to see my reflection in the various mirrors. “My, aren’t you excited young lady. You can be very pleased; you may be the prettiest girl through here this year.” Mrs. Richards took a picture for the store, herself, and my mother.

She and mom talked as she checked to make sure there were no flaws or lose threads. I stepped into my new heels and I could see how beautifully they went with the gown. Mom and Mrs. Richards both complimented the small flowers on the shoe.

I was asked who had added the flowers. I praised that the little touch was magnificent. I asked if they thought Jeff would like the gown. Mrs. Richards commented “He will love the girl in the gown and that you look so pretty. It will be the other girls who will compliment you on the dress, shoes, your makeup, and the many other details.”

“Will Dawn and Denise know how beautiful it is?” Mom smiled at my interest in how I appeared and what friends would think. “Mom, did you notice my feet, I need that second pedicure you talked about.”

Another girl came to get her dress while I was undressing and she complimented me on my gown. I thanked her but stated her gown was very beautiful as was she. I watched as Mrs. Richards hung and draped my gown with plastic for me.

I changed back to my outfit never questioning myself about changing in the women’s dressing rooms. We dropped off the gown at Dawn’s house before heading home.

Wednesday was my last regular day of school before prom. What I had not taken into consideration was changing for the gym and the sunbathing I had done over Memorial Day weekend. While the tan on top would be good for the prom, the tan caused by the two-piece suit shouted 'girl'. Some guy remarked how fickle I had to be to allow a girl to get me to do that. His ridicule was not an easy out, but it seemed better than the truth.

Started with a Prom Dress? - 3 - The Prom

Someone shared “She better be worth it.” Two other guys shared, “If it is either one of the girls who picked him up last week I would say she is.” I agreed with all of them...
We went to her house and I changed. We both went for a pedicure and manicure. Dawn was very happy and thankful when I paid for both of us...

My manicurist took longer to do my nails. This time was to my nails look pretty for a girl going to the prom. Dawn was becoming used to my tears of joy.

The manicurist wanted to put on a simple but pretty detail on each nail. I quickly balked at the idea. Dawn shared. “But tomorrow you will go to my school as Danica and the girls at my school will be very impressed.”

Dawn said, my mother, gave permission to attend school with Dawn's on Thursday...”

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We went to my house, and I quickly changed into an outfit there. I caught grief from two of my brothers and was told to sneak back to Dawn’s car and stay down until I was a block away from the house. Dad was in the house, he was very cordial to Dawn, but he did not acknowledge my problem with my brothers. “If it becomes a problem, I will take care of it at that point."

Dawn and I both went to have a pedicure and manicure at a neighboring community. Dawn was very happy and thankful when I paid for the both of us. Dawn already an attractive girl and her toenails like her fingernails had reflected the attention and care she had given them since she was a little girl. Having professional manicure and pedicure was still a treat for her; the joy we felt was similar to guys attending a special sports event.

It took my manicurist twelve minutes longer to do my nails. This time her work was not to make boys’ feet look decent but to help my nails look pretty for a girl going to the prom. Dawn was becoming used to my tears of joy as the transformation continued to go well. The manicurist put extensions on my fingernails as Dawn picked out the color.

The manicurist wanted to put on a simple but pretty detail on each nail. I quickly balked at the idea because the kids at school would notice and laugh. “The kids at your school would laugh just seeing your fingernails painted” Dawn shared. “But tomorrow you will go to my school as Danica and the girls at my school will be very impressed.”

“Your mother gave me permission to attend school with her on Thursday.” One of their counselors knew who I was and sent a note to my school saying I attended classes there for the day.” Jeff met us at school and was happy to show me a lot of attention at school. I enjoyed my time there as a girl with him and Dawn.

Jeff had a ballgame to play and we went to watch. I know and play baseball myself, finding the game interesting was not unusual. I was distracted by the attention I was getting from other boys.

When we got back to the Millers, I suspect we interrupted Mrs. Miller showing affection to Roberta. Though I thought the interruption may have changed the mood, Aunt Susan took Roberta to their room. Dawn knew but did not tell me her Mom as sometimes got so hot that her dad still had to satisfy her passions.

Jeff came over and took me home with him, but Dawn said I could not go until I had permission from her mother. Jeff settled down commenting on how pretty I was. He was happy that I was at their school.

Jeff's hands were wandering as they came down the back of my blouse to the top of my skirt and butt, but I asked him to show more respect. I wanted to hear how I looked like a hot girl, but not with that meaning. I knew the reputation of a girl visiting another school was subject to being questioned.

After dinner, I was permitted to go over to Jeff’s but needed to be home early. Mom said she preferred me to be back by 8:30. She said if I was not back by 8:45, I would not see Jeff until the prom. Jeff was happy and affectionate, saying he would like to make love to me before his parents came home. Jeff showed me where his room was and suggested I undress to get in the bed so he could imagine me as a girl. He was upset when I told him it wasn’t happening at this point.

Jeff said he loved me and honestly it was not hard to see his passion and I hoped it was love in his eyes. “Danica, you are looking very good as a girl, but I think we are both happy that you are still a boy.” I was not wanting to admit it, but his arms around me did excite the boy within me.

We were back on the couch in the living room and I was becoming aroused as Jeff’s pants started to grow and rise I knew he was full and hard. We had kissed and we touched each other. Jeff was taking his time to enjoy the moment. I was lying back on the couch as Jeff took me by the hips and drew me up on his lap. I opened my legs and Jeff’s cock grew hard and reached up to me.

I moved my legs around to one side but he held me to remain on top of him, and he seemed pleased with himself. Jeff was kissing and caressing my ear and neck. I was getting hotter. My excitement was escalating as was Jeff’s. He slowed up, and I thought he was losing his excitement instead he was lengthening his enjoyment.

I spoke up sharing I was becoming aroused and began to moan with enjoyment. “Jeff I need to get up and get home. He asked why I came over since I already knew he liked boys like me. I was getting too excited and forced myself to my feet and the door. Unfortunately, I could not stop the excitement within me as I went back to the Miller’s. I quickly ran up to Dawn’s bedroom, closing the door behind me.

Susan and Dawn were outside the door discussing which one should come in to talk to me or if they both should. The conversation was speculating what happened and whether I needed a parent’s shoulder or a friend or a parent to come down on me. I opened the door and invited them both in.

They were pleased that I came home, and we laughed wondering if I was the first girl who messed herself. Mom asked if this changed anything and I knew she meant about going to the prom.

“If you have some advice I will listen, but it’s just a matter of two guys who want a night so much, we were getting too excited. Hopefully, the wet dream will be over before the big event takes place. We both want the prom so much. I'm not turning back and I don’t think he will either. My biggest problem is I am rooting for Danica to please Carl and he wants Carl to please Jeff.”

Dawn gave me a big hug, and then said she would run some bubble bath in the tub and the sink. I asked, “Why would you run a bubble bath in both?”

Dawn giggled saying, “It’s a good way to clean your panties when you don’t want to wait for a machine load. You do know which one goes into the sink and gets rung out I hope.”

“Aunt Susan, I hope this isn’t something you need to tell my Mom. If you do, I am afraid I won’t be going to any prom this year or next.” She smiled and told me that I handled the situation and acted well, “As a mother, I am very proud of you, and I think your Mom loves you and is much more proud of you than I am.”

We had an enjoyable evening. Dawn’s dad has stayed as Roberta; she was content to be in Susan’s arms. Aunt Susan, Dawn and I talked after I was ready for bed. I asked Susan, “Do you think it is realistic that I could hope for a wife as understanding?”

Susan replied, “If she could see her way to enjoy you; hopefully she would see you as a whole person, I could see a woman enjoying herself with you.”

I was now blushing. “How about if it’s a man I fall in love with?” Susan and Dawn surrounded me with a big hug suggesting I stop by trying to make decisions and just get some sleep and dream about the prom.

Upon their leaving me to take a bath, I could hear Susan was interested in hearing Dawn’s response to seeing her dad dressed as Roberta. The discussion must have been very interesting as it went on past midnight. Dawn woke me early again to get ready for school. After my shower, there was an outfit for me, but I changed the blouse. It was a woman’s prerogative after all.

The day at school went fast as I was making new friends and had no responsibility for homework or quizzes. We went with Bonnie after school to pick up their gowns. We were going out with a number of their girlfriends that night, but we needed to take the gowns home to make sure they were safe.

Ten of us met for pizza and I was surprised at how long we tedalk and eat so little. As Carl, there was no way I could have sat and talked for two hours and eaten only two pieces of pizza. Dawn and Bonnie gave me a hard time on the way back as I held my own in the conversations.

We were home by ten and Dawn had us going to bed by 10:30. She knew better than I how early the morning would come and how much we had to do. We went for a jog took a shower and finished breakfast and were ready to leave the house by 10:30 a.m.

We were at the salon for our appointments. My appointment was with Jessica; I had borrowed a pair of Dawn’s sweatpants and a zip-top. I thought it was kind of scruffy but Jess said it was good. Dawn knew the style she wanted, but I needed Jessie’s help. She picked four styles for me to choose from; I like three but one was easily my first choice because of its curls. Dawn insisted I would want one of the other two. I was stubborn and kept my first choice.

Though I had shampooed my hair that morning Jessie washed and conditioned my hair again. She set to cutting and rolling it up into curlers. I thought back to when I was a little boy watching my mom getting her hair done. I felt bad that boys couldn’t have that done. I did enjoy holding the curlers and handing each one to the beautician, today was no different with Jessie.

She was surprised that it was my first time at a salon. Once she was done putting in the curlers, she used a setting gel and then put me under a dryer next to Dawn. I heard Dawn said I would be sorry, but I smiled in disbelief. Dawn talked most of the time we were under the dryer, but I understood very little of the conversation going on. It was noon when Jessie began to take the curlers out and comb out my hair. My mom and Mrs. Miller stopped to check on us and take some pictures. Neither was negative like Dawn, instead, they asked me if I was enjoying myself.

Another worker had come and was working on my nails. Jessie asked for my makeup which I handed to her. I was very happy, she did such a beautiful job. While it cost a pretty penny, Mom reminded me about all Jessie had done and encouraged me to give her a good tip.

I felt silly with my hair done, as well as the makeup and walking out of the salon and mall in borrowed, scruffy sweats. I looked at Dawn and had seen other girls and realized, I was being very girly and I enjoyed the moment. Mom said goodbye but said she and our neighbor Helen were coming to the promenade. Dawn and I had to take care not to bump our hair, nor smug our make-up as we got in and out of the van and back into the house.

I didn’t think I need to use the toilet, but Aunt Susan insisted. We stripped down. I used deodorant, powder and a very delicate body mist, and then I began to get dressed. My breasts were glued and the gaff was set in place as Dawn was perfect in blending the seams out of sight. I put on a garter belt after my panties and bra; they were special just for the prom, using the Middlesex colors. I swore I could feel everything like a girl.

I carefully pulled on my silk stockings with Susan’s guidance and watchful eye. Their silkiness sent shivers and goosebumps over my body. Using them and the straps were different from pantyhose. The stockings felt like a cool breeze over my legs.

Putting the slip on over my head felt nice but caused me to worry as I felt Carl slip out of sight. I would have been a basket case putting on my gown but Dawn’s Aunt Betty had come over to help her mother in putting on our gowns. They did Dawn first thinking it would help me to relax, but I knew Dawn was a regular girl and I was not.

This would be the fourth time I put on my gown, but never before had my hair and make-up been done. Susan made me close my eyes as the gown moved down and into place. My arms and shoulders were covered in chiffon and felt so girly.

Tea towels were draped around my neck as the make-up was retouched, and the hair was given little touches. My earrings were changed to add more sparkle, Helen’s necklace was placed around my neck and Ma Miller found a bracelet for one wrist and a delicate girl’s watch for the other. Dawn gave me a pinky ring for my hand. I filled my small purse with my make-up, tissues, a small brush, and two feminine pads. Dawn added a tampon despite my stern look. We were often holding hands and turning to the other so we could see what they did next and how it looked.

They had me step into my heels as Aunt Susan held one hand in givng me support. I was excited by the sound the heels were making. I was jealous of the smooth and even steps of Dawn. Jaz and Cassie had been allowed to come into the room. Susan touched up my hair and then allowed me to open my eyes. Cassie cheered, “Princess, Danica you look like a princess.” Jaz watched over Dawn, Cassie had become my little shadow. She had already drawn a picture of me as a princess and was now coloring in my gown. She drew in a crown despite Jaz’s complaint.

I looked into the mirror and saw my eyes so soft and beautiful and then allowed myself to see all of me. Wow, Cassie was right, I looked like a princess, but I was not alone. Dawn was ever as beautiful as me, but I could not have been any more beautiful if I tried to dream. I was now 5’ 11” and standing on my own, taking small steps and turning side to side.

Dawn was as happy for me as she was for herself. We sat down and Susan took some pictures as we talked. I am sure they were mostly to keep us focused and away from crying.

I wanted to give Dawn a big hug and kiss instead I had a crash course on how one so dressed and with makeup did it. I wanted to go downstairs and to show Dawn’s dad, but he had to come to see us. It was five or ten minutes before Jeff would be there. It was hard to be patient. I was told I needed to wait twelve minutes and for Dawn to be greeted first by Zach.

It was five-twenty when I was finally allowed to come down. I was nervous about tripping on a step, or that Jeff would be disappointed, having seen Dawn. Jeff was all smiles and full of compliments as he took my hand at the bottom step. Dawn and I had pictures together and then with our dates. I thought Jeff was going to give me a wrist corsage, but it was the traditional corsage that he needed to pin on.

He was now the nervous one and I looked down as best I could. I was so proud; my prince’s hands were big and strong, but gentle and loving as well. It was time to leave and Jeff and Zach had rented a limousine to take us to the promenade and then to the prom. The driver was quite the gentleman and help Dawn and me into the limo.

The promenade was simple but eloquent as we drove up to one entrance, were introduced and walked through the crowd in the gym and out another door. Jeff took my hands and whirled me around and we did a few steps like a slow dance. Our limo was waiting for us at the other end. I first saw Aunt Susan, Cassie, and Jaz. I was shortly worried I had missed my Mom. She was there with Helen and with Dad in tow I went and gave her a gentle kiss and to express my thanks. I was a bit sad as my Dad had backed away, taking pictures was his excuse.

I do not remember getting back into the limo, nor much of our meal. I ate just a little even though I was still hungry when the prom began. The first dance was special, being in Jeff’s arms and everyone seeing his beautiful date. He was graceful, I felt one hand at my side and the other slip behind my back.

I had been to a half dozen dances as Carl. Dawn was worried I would try to lead. Following Jeff and letting him lead seemed so natural. I liked it when we would turn or sway as I felt very feminine.

We were halfway through the dance and Jeff lifted one hand and gave me a light touch with the one at my waist. I stepped back and twirled around once and was back at his side dipping backward a little before I realized what we did. I had just begun to lean my head on his shoulder as he kissed me and the dance ended. Like many couples, we shared more than one kiss.

We shared a table with a friend of Jeff’s and a friend of Zach’s. Dawn knew both of their dates well. I felt a need to go to the lady’s room but waited another half hour before Dawn, Bonnie and I went. I was thankful I had the garter and stockings and did not have to work through pulling pantyhose up and down. Getting the dress up, sitting on the seat and using the paper was an experience that gave me a respect for women. The lady's rooms each had an attendant to check for buttons, hooks, and zippers as well as damp and dry cloths.

Checking my makeup and touching up my hair was another two steps that did not come so easy the way I was dressed. I turned to Dawn expecting her to step in and help me. Dawn had insisted Jessie tell me what to do at the salon, now I could do it. She was right and I was proud as any girl proving she was a big girl.

We had a great time and stayed until the prom ended at one. We were driven to the after-prom party at the school, where we said goodbye to the limousine and driver. Dawn let me know I was now on my own.

It was only now I was remembering I was a boy and that Jeff was interested in me as a boy. The party was fun, but come three we were both ready to leave. Jeff walked me out to his car where we stood and shared a few more kisses. Jeff asked if I was alright as I got into the car. I knew what he was asking and if that was alright.

It was a nice motel, Jeff had driven close to our room as he quietly escorted me into our room. We shared a couple of kisses, I turned and asked him to start undoing the back of my gown. It was unbuttoned past the back of my bra and I was able to undo the rest. Stepping out of my gown, I was able to hang it up. I was more excited than nervous. My biggest sadness was that soon the night would be over.

I was down to my panties and bra, having taken off my silk stockings and garter belt. Jeff was down to his underpants. His underpants were satin and it felt nice to rub him as he was getting big and stiff.

I played with him and dipped my mouth down, I was surprised that I enjoyed being there. I found the inside of his legs was sensitive and enjoyed my power over him. My other hand was holding his cock and feeling him.

Jeff was talking, happily moaning. Jeff’s shaft and head began to throb as I was going up and down on him. The intensity was growing in him. I would close my mouth to build up the heat. I would back off to slow down his growing excitement. He thought he was going to come in me and was disappointed he hadn’t.

But his body was still building up, now he was ready and building when I engulfed him again. He burst into my mouth; the gush of semen was great, hot and quickly filling my mouth and throat as I swallowed. He was still cumming inside of me; Jeff was holding my head onto him, trying to extend his enjoyment.

I found the taste of him to my liking. As he relaxed and he was returning to normal size I licked and sucked him clean. He would have little spasms as the joy shot through him. I finally lifted my head off and lied down next to him. We laid there touching each other and I kissed and caressed him but he was reluctant to taste himself on my lips.

It was twenty minutes and Jeff was getting aroused again. Now the focus was on him pleasing me. He wanted to know that I was responding as a boy the best I could. He had gotten some gel or cream and was coating the shaff of his cock and now my butt pushing his fingers into me to force some of the gel inside me.

Jeff was between my legs, holding my hips he was pulling me to him and I could feel the head of his cock position into place. He pushed his head into me before bringing his body forward and down on mine. My legs wrapped around him and we both worked to bring his cock down inside of me. He was warm, long and hard as he continued to move in me; it was turning him and me on more and more. Jeff soon ejaculated into me and while he was pleased and I enjoyed it a bit there was no orgasm.

We would lay and enjoy each other we waited a good hour before he went into me again. This time he took his time and worked harder, his body was stronger. This time when he came in me and he was having a rush of joy and I was enjoying an orgasm when a second and stronger orgasm overtook me.

Jeff said boys could only have one orgasm. The final time Jeff went into me it was from behind, he was mounting me as one male into another. I knew it was important to Jeff and probably a good reminder to me that he was making out with me as another guy. We took showers; I took effort not to wet my hair but to clean especially the lower half of my body.

I managed to get dressed in the gown with little help. I knew the gown had suffered a little but was still beautiful. I did my makeup and touched up my hair. I used the perfume ightly on me and then Jeff. He protested, but I insisted there was a girl inside of him too. I even used lipstick on him and we kissed once before he wiped it off.

It was 6:30 a.m. when we joined Dawn, Denise, and Bonnie and their dates for breakfast. Bonnie’s hair was down and Denise was casually wrapped in her date’s coat. The guys talked among themselves, we girls talked to each other but also worked to bring the guys into the remembrance of the prom.

Denise and Dawn had stayed at the after-prom party until it was over and had won some nice prizes. Bonnie’s were a bit better since she was a junior. Jeff took me to Dawn’s, taking time for kisses and hugs before I went into the house.

I began to take off my heels and take out my earrings when Aunt Susan told me to stop, “You need to fix yourself as we are going to church.” She informed me it was the custom at their church for the guys to show up in their tuxedos and the gals in their gowns. It was a time Dawn had waited years for and was fighting sleep to stay awake.

I was tempted to pass, but thought of all Dawn had done for me. I knew I would enjoy it too if I wanted. Zach wasn’t coming, but Jeff was, the Millers allowed us to sit a bit away from them. A woman came and sat just the pew ahead of us. She had three children a girl, a toddler in his twos and a baby a few months old. It was the Pfisters, I knew them from my church, but I had not seen them recently.

I said hello and she was surprised I knew her by name. I told her I had seen and met her with my aunt and uncle. It was no more than a few minutes into the church and the two-year-old began to act up. So I took the baby to help her out. The baby was good but shortly before the message, she messed her diaper, which made her even more content. Finally, I reached, grabbed the diaper bag and carried Caroline out.

A greeter showed me the nursery off the sanctuary. There were a few babies and toddlers, one woman nursing when I commenced to change the diaper on Caroline. I finished giving her bottle and was in the sanctuary for the close of the service. Mrs. Pfister thanked me as she got to enjoy the service.

I asked about her husband and she shared they weren’t together. She had kicked him out before the baby was born. She shared that it was harder on their two-year-old and daughter of four. I apologized and extended my sympathy. I let Dawn and Jeff out as I stayed with Mrs. Pfister as people left service. “I can’t believe he did that,” she began to confess.

Suspecting he had cheated on her I quickly agreed, “You are an attractive woman and he’s going to miss out on his children. He shouldn’t have cheated.” She began to correct me, “No he didn’t cheat, it was creepy, I caught him in one of my outfits, dressed as a woman.”

I said wow and sat down in amazement. Mrs. Pfister said, “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have told you, you probably never heard something so sick.”

“I have… just this past month.” She was amazed and asked if I knew more. I said “It was the husband and dad of my close friends, not here but near where I live. The mom of my friend had kept it from her daughter for eight years. Until we had run into the house from school and he/she was there and couldn’t get to another room before we saw her.

He cried and we were sure, she the mom would be furious. But he/she sat and the mom shared. My friend knew her dad had left when she was eight, but they had gotten back together. It took that long for her mom to work through her anger, and feelings of disgust. When she caught him the third time she began realizing he wasn’t going to change. He didn’t dress around the children, but after she kicked him out she found the whole family was worse.

She had learned through a counselor about him being a crossdresser and that he may not have cheated on the relationship. Once when he was over visiting she had him change into an outfit and helped him to look better as a woman. The only one in the family who hadn’t know was my best friend and others outside the family. My friend and I even came to like him, we liked him more as a dad, but she’s cool.”

Mrs. Pfister was surprised and said it was a lot to accept. “I agree, I doubt if most women would have done what she did. It is easy to understand your reaction. I wouldn’t expect you to change. How you deal with things only you can decide.”

She asked me to tell my friend's name and ask if she could call the mom and wife. I told her “I couldn’t because I shouldn’t have told her anything as I couldn’t tell her name or story to someone else.” I wrote my cell phone number and said she could call.

She got herself composed before we left the church. When we got back to the Millers, Dawn’s aunt and uncle were there. We were visiting in the kitchen when I was falling to sleep on my feet. Her uncle picked me up off my feet and I was asleep in his arms.

Mrs. Miller helped me step out of my dress, slip and put me into bed. It was 4 p.m. before I woke up and my mother was over me on the edge of the bed. She had a sundress with fresh undergarments for me to wear. “So did this experience satisfy your appetite for being a girl? Your friend Dawn thinks you like to dress like a girl.”

“We went to church wearing our gowns and Danica ends upholding and then changing a baby’s diapers,” Dawn shared. My mom heard with interest and asked me to tell her more. “Mrs. Pfister now thinks Danica’s your niece. I helped her with Caroline; did you know she is separated from her husband?”

Mom asked, “Since when did you begin changing diapers?”

“It was easier for me than Mrs. Pfister with three children. I babysit, I just hadn’t changed a baby’s diaper.”

I did not realize it but I had changed out of my panties and bra into my fresh garments and sundress with Mom and Dawn in the room watching. When Mom asked about my humility then I became embarrassed but turned it around “You know you are partly to blame Mom. I had to try the gown, putting it on in front of Mrs. Richards. Dawn was already there when I undressed. The only difference was I was showing boy and girl parts.” I paused then with tears in my eyes I apologized as we hugged one another.

“Mrs. G, do you think she makes a pretty daughter?”

“I love all my sons and I am proud and glad he had this experience.” I heard Mom’s comment to mean this was to be an experience left in the past. “I love Danica and she is very beautiful.”

Dawn spoke up, “I hope she comes over whether or not she goes out with Jeff. As you can see she's used to changing in front of me and mom.” Mom asked and was surprised to learn where I slept at the Millers.

“She probably has a better selection of summer dress clothes than Carl right now.” We excused ourselves with Mrs. Miller taking my gown to the cleaners to be cleaned and hung in a bag for storing. Dawn gave me my two gifts from the after-prom party. One was a gift certificate to Maurice’s and the other to Victoria Secrets, I tried to give them back to Dawn but she insisted I take them.

My mother used the solvent we received from Aunt Susan to take off the gaff as well as my breast forms. She encouraged me to take a shower and to shampoo my hair. It was then that I learned why Dawn tried to warn me about the hairstyle I had chosen. They call it a permanent because it does not easily wash out.

I thought I did such a great job brushing my hair back into style. I had changed back into my regular clothes but I did not look like my regular self. I was going to cut my hair short but my brother Dan told on me and my parents stopped me. Dad wanted it cut but mom insisted I wait until the morning and showered and shampooed again. Mom knew it was going to make little difference but she also knew I had a bigger concern. I had put on my jeans and a t-shirt and had gone out to shoot some baskets as I often did to burn off nervous energy.

It was then I felt this strange sensation of the breast forms still being on me. As I dribbled or jumped for a shot, I felt the sensation of my breasts tingling. I called back to Dawn and she laughed at my problem but suggested when I woke up in the morning I should be back to myself.

Mom called me a while later and asked how I was doing. I suspected she knew more than I did, but I tried not to share how I felt. I complained about my hair and asked what we were going to do. Mom shared most of my mannerisms were off and that Danica’s voice crept back into my speech. I had continuously touched my chest and my mother asked what was going on as my hand was returning to my breasts again and again.

I was emphatic that it was my chest, boys do not have breasts. Mom asked me to take off my shirt and we both noticed my nipples were a bit large. Mom said they appeared to be budding and the tissue around them seemed puffy. Mom jokingly shared, if I had wanted to dress and look like a girl, I was getting my wish.

She placed a call into Dr. Myrt, who shared it would be a very unusual and quick reaction to the shots she gave me and inquired if I had been doing or taking anything else. I was not admitting it, but I had stolen and taken two of Aunt Susan’s birth control pills and Friday had taken and used another of Dawn’s. Mom stated I had a reprieve from school and showing off my hair as I had an 11:45 appointment to see Dr. Myrt.

“Mom, isn’t Dr. Myrt a woman’s doctor? It would be embarrassing for me to be going to her office.”

“If you want you can go as Danica but we are going to have to register you under your real name.” I went to bed at 10 and I was tired enough from the prom to go to sleep. I talked to Dawn and texted with Denise for well over an hour and a half, under the covers.

I made the mistake of telling Dawn I was texting with Denise and she somehow got the three of us on the phone. I told them both I was likely to miss school the next day and both of them agreed it was because of my permanent. Dawn suggested it could be my phantom breasts as well.

I was irritated she let Denise know that part of our conversation. She agreed to be quiet on the subject if I told her the feeling was going away. Unfortunately, I paused long enough before I lied and said it was. Neither she nor Denise believed me and both giggled at me. They both promised not to share with anyone. They joked, “It was our girl secret."

I was up just before six, ate breakfast with Mom and was taking a shower and shampooing my hair twice. My hair had changed a little but Danica’s hairdo was very evident. I regrettably admitted to myself that my chest was up to something. Mom looked and with a bit of nervousness in her voice said “It looks like your nipples are budding. She explained much to my grief what that meant. I went crying to my room afraid because part of me was very happy.

I stayed in my room on the computer until my brother was off to school. He had come in and eyed me up and down, saying, "This better be one of Carl's pranks. I'm getting fed up with you being a sissy." Mom and my oldest brother Dave had to come and break up the fight. My brother was spared punishment as he had to get to school.

Dad spoke up stating, "Carl you're the one guilty of upsetting the family." I guess it was a lot easier for one to change than the other five. He said, "I think we need to own up to the fact that this can’t keep going on."

The School had called by 9:00 a.m. in concern of my third day of missing school. Mom thanked them for checking and shared she would share today’s concern with the school nurse if it proved important. I was in my regular jeans and shirt until Mom insisted I change and put on a bra. The breast forms were placed in the cups and the straps were shortened to hold the forms snuggly.

We left and got to the doctor in plenty of time. Mom was nice and spoke to the receptionist to check me in. A nurse called me for my appointment, weighed me and took me to exam room three. I was sure Dr. Myrt was going to see me herself alone. When I was told I needed to put on one of those little exam tops I was upset but not too alarmed.

I was alarmed when the nurse knocked and came back into the room. She needed to take my vitals and ask some questions. I told her I was not a regular patient. “I know but you are as important as any other and the doctor asks me to follow these procedures.” I lied when she asked about other medications.

It was another five minutes before there was another knock and Internist Deb stepped in to examine me. I was about in tears as her scope went to my chest to check my heart. She asked if I needed my mother. She undid the front of my smock and lightly touched and examined my nipples. I was surprised when she said to me, “They are pretty: are you happy or upset about having them.” She paused, “Dr. Myrt said you went to a prom; by your hair, nails, and complexion; I suspect you were very pretty. Did you have an enjoyable time?”

“I am kind of scared though they look pretty. I am embarrassed; I thought I would be seeing just Dr. Myrt.”

“Dr. Myrt said she did you and your Aunt Susan a favor and saw you a week ago Saturday. You and your Mom agreed and said you wanted the shots she gave you. She informed you that the shots would not have a lasting effect. Now your body seems to be responding more dramatically and we need to help find out why. I'm sorry if you are a little bit uncomfortable.”

Dr. Myrt came in with a calming presence. Intern Deborah shared, “She’s speaking with her feminine voice so we are treating her as Danica; a boy whose breasts have begun to bud, for no known reason. I have taken a blood sample but there appears to be no apparent reason for the nipples to be budding with the breast tissue is beginning to develop.”

“So Danica can I start by asking how you enjoyed the prom?” She was examining me as we visited and even had me lay back on the table. She had my legs raised into stirrups and examine between my legs. She sat down to examine me more thoroughly. I was sitting back up and she was sitting in front of me.

“Your desire to be a girl is strong like I thought and I am glad you enjoyed yourself. I hope you and your date took precautions though. You are safe from some girl problems. Now I need to know from you if you did something, or I do I need to consider my niece or someone else did something to cause this? There is a possibility of another problem but it is third and down on the list.”

Dr. Myrt encouraged Deb to take my hand and place her other hand was on my shoulder. “Have you gotten into anyone’s medication or taken over the counter medicine for women?” She seemed to know, “You won’t be in any legal trouble, but I do need to know."

"Dawn thinks you are a special person. Your Aunt Susan thinks some medicine might be missing.” I began to cry and told her I had taken two of Aunt Susan’s pills and someone may have taken one from Dawn’s dispenser. The discussion was drawn out and my mother was now part of it.

Seemingly even the missing birth control pills did not fully explain the response of my body. Dr. Myrt shared she had placed a call to Susan to get her daughter out of school; thinking Dawn had to be part of what I was doing.

It was then I confessed to having been sneaking and using pre-natal medicine since I was 12 years old. Dr. Deb thought it may have helped to cause a delay in my male development, as well as awakened dormant female organs. The shots Dr. Myrt gave me combined with the birth control pills I used may have been the needed catalyst to trigger my female development.

"Danica, how long have you dreamt of being a girl, or is it boys you want to please?"

With tears in my eyes, I tell her, "My parents already had three boys. I just wanted to please them, especially my mommy. When others thought I was a girl, I liked the nice things they said. I didn't know they were kidding me. I just liked it. But then my dad got upset and I hid my feelings."

“We now,” Dr. Myrt spoke, “have a quite different problem and set of circumstances. I am not sure we want to arrest your development as Danica since you have such a strong will and determination to be a female. I suspect we would want to watch and research this very well. I believe we need to decide within 3-6 months if you should remain a male or continue to transition to being female.”

“Mrs. G, my recommendation to you would be to have ‘Danica’ continue as your niece, keep Carl out of school and have him stay with an aunt and uncle. If you want Danica to finish the school year that she go to Middlesex but complete the needed exams from his school.

She is not to be sexually active as she has been, but she needs to have and use her own medicine.”

“Nurse, please start a new file for Danica. Prepare these two shots for Intern Dr. Deb Sanders to give her.”

“Danica, your Mom has consented for you to live as a girl. Doing so is dependent on your agreement to do as I am requiring. You need to let me know you understand what is being asked of you and that Danica will be living up to that agreement.”

Mom asked, “You inferred that Danica has been sexually active; what do you mean by that?”

“I suspect Danica thought her girl's life was short and it appears she has had a boy sexually. She might have had orals sex, but that would be apart from what I am talking about.”

Mom looked at me disgusted and suggested that I had sex with Jeff on our first date. “I didn’t Mom. I'm sorry but it happened after the prom party.” I agreed with Dr. Myrt and Mom that I would continue as Danica and to live as we agreed. It was 1:00 p.m. before we left the doctor’s office. I had received my new shots and at Deb’s request, I touched and affirmed the beauty of my budding breasts.

It was agreed between the doctors and the mothers that I would not be able to date with Jeff until I had dated others, including going as a boy on a date with a girl. There was to be no sex with a person of either gender. Doing so would forfeit my part in decisions about my future. A quick statement was written and signed by at least five of us.

Mom felt a need to take me to the mall as we now needed to shop to build up a wardrobe for Danica. But Mom was angry and unsettled, I suspect with me, so she asked Susan if she would be willing to do it for her. She said Mrs. Richards would be pleased and helpful in selecting the clothing I would need as well.

Mom stayed in with Dr. Myrt, and said she had another doctor’s appointment to get too after that for herself...

Dawn and Aunt Susan went with me to get me some more clothes. If possible I would stay with them and finish the school year. Dawn was thrilled that Danica was to continue and wanted me to finish the school year with her. Shopping ended with a stop to get cosmetics and skin and hair care items. I was surprised I was getting what I needed to live as Danica.

Denise had texted me to get feminine care products for my purse and to keep track of my monthly visitor. Mom Miller giggled as she explained Denise’s reasoning. Dad and my brothers were not happy that I was continuing as Danica. Dan appreciated he did not have to explain his brother being his sister.

Jeff called and he was already inviting me on a date and was very disappointed when I told him I would not be sexually active and we would have to wait on the next date.

It wouldn’t be told to me but my mother went to the hospital from her Doctor’s appointment. My Dad made a decision that I was neither to know about my Mom being in the hospital nor communicate with her even by phone until I was back to normal.

To be continued...

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I got caught looking at prom dresses... And went to a prom as Danica... Denise text, "keep track of your monthly visitor. Mom Miller explains Denise’s reasoning... Dad and my brothers, not happy that I'm continuing as Danica...

Luckily for Danica, Mom's a strong-willed person and she knew by the second night I should have been there. She confronted her husband to find out what was happening and said it was no time to divide the family. She stated she could use me when she got home the following day or the day after.

Mom says, “I have recently gotten to see her and be here as the daughter I never had. If Danica sees herself as a girl and daughter; I want to give her the chance to be a young woman and my daughter.”

“She is already known as our niece. I expect when this mood passes on, Carl will be back, so for now, that will be my compromise in her being at the house”

It was 6:00 pm. when I received the call Mom was in the hospital. I had been to school at Middlesex and had a good day with one exception. Learning Mom was in the hospital was the second. With Robert and Dawn’s help, I was at the hospital by 7; the coldness of my Dad and a brother suggested why I hadn't heard from them. Right now my focus is on loving and visiting Mom. As a family, we usually did well in uniting at such times.

Mom said, "I should be released tomorrow or the next day. And if you want, it would be okay if you would help as Danica, you could help me."

"Mom, how can I help you? You should already know I would love to."

"If you can stay a little late tonight or come early tomorrow, a nurse can show you." I looked at Dawn and knew we could easily stay a half-hour after visiting hours.

While everyone was there, it came time for a nurse to check on her. So the nurse excused others, "Danica your Aunt, and I would like you to stay and observe." I guess it made sense but it was different than I expected. I didn’t know there was a urinal designed for women. Nor had I known of the many scars or all her surgeries. She's beautiful despite the scars. I can’t believe that at such a sensitive time, I asked, “Do you think if I remain as Danica I could be as beautiful as you?”

Mom didn't answer me. "I doubt that you will enjoy this. There are more messy things to being a woman that you'll come to know in time. I like your sensitivity, but I don't expect you'll want to be a girl."

Dad said, “I hear you had a good day today with only one problem, what was that?”

“Dad it isn’t a big problem and I am sure you don’t want to hear about it anyway.” I knew Dad would ask again and not back off but insist I tell him. “I am sure you don’t want to hear it but if you insist. ...The guy who took me to the prom wouldn’t have anything to do with me today. He heard I need to date another guy before I can date him again.” I was right neither my Dad nor my brother wanted to know.

I say, "Brother if you need anything done for Friday or this weekend please make sure we know by Thursday. I will do what I can but I won’t be hassled and still be expected to be nice. And Judy, if there is anything I can do for you. If Mom can’t be at the promenade? I will get there and take some pictures of you for her. But I expect we will get her there and back somehow."

Judy seemed to accept me as Danica and find me cute. However, I am not sure she believed I was a niece or knew I was Carl. Drew was not angry with Judy, and I knew he didn’t like me talking to her. Judy shared that they would stop at the house before going to the promenade.

Mom laughed and smiled and the nurse said that was sweet, so I guess it wasn’t so insensitive. Mom grabbed my hand, “You are going to be a beautiful person one way or the other. Come prom night nurse, you should have seen this young lady, I was jealous of her.”

Nurse Jennings replied, “So I guess she does take after you. Danica if I weren’t trying so hard to instruct you I would have seen that.” She had me rub a skin cream over my mother’s back and massage it. “Remember as in make-up a little can go a long way than you think.” She checked the drainage site and told me while the tube would be out, I needed to religiously check the area, to make sure it was clean and not draining.

I was humbled that I would be checking my Mom and helping her like this. The nurse asked me, "What can you cook or do around the house?" There are only two of us left at home; both my brother and I learned to cook and do a lot around the house. The joke was we're all supposed to grow up and make some good woman a good wife and a husband. I ran across a list of what I could cook, "My Mom has a file of recipes for whatever we're to cook. It won't be the same but I can follow directions."

Nurse Jennings said, “You should call my little sister Mary Skipp and give her some lessons.”

I said, “You’re Mary’s sister, I knew she had a sister one or two years older but I didn’t know she had an older sister your age. I used to sit behind her. I love her long dark hair. I tried to be a friend but she was way too smart and pretty for me.”

The nurse said, “Yes, I am an antique, nine years older than her, and five years older than your oldest brother. I will need to make sure I don’t speak about who I saw in the hospital. But if you ever do get to give her a lesson in cooking remind her you’re a niece and not a daughter… You can now tell your family they can come back to visit… I will still want to visit with you for about fifteen minutes after visiting time. Thanks for helping, I think you will do fine.”

Dad came back in and had a few questions for me; like when I would move back in and what help I needed. I was told I could help my mother but I wasn’t to be in the bathroom when she was in there if my help wasn’t needed. "You know the bathroom is small so don’t be planning on leaving your makeup in there or do things you can do in your room."

I say, “Dad, it has a desk, not a vanity, and there's a small closet. The room is designed and decorated for a guy, but I will try to make due. I suspect I will move home tomorrow and need help moving my stuff after school.” Robert volunteers himself and Dawn, but I knew Dawn has chorus practice for graduation.

Drew said he and Judy would be willing to help tomorrow but any closer to the prom would be harder. I went to give him a hug for his offer, but I paused thinking he'd be uncomfortable. Judy came over patted me on the back, then my brother stepped up and gave me a light hug.

We had hugged before as brothers so this was significant to me. Judy stepped forward hugged me and whispered, “You feel more like my sister than his... Carl doesn’t have bumps.” I could not help but laugh out loud. Others asked what was said but Judy winked and it stayed between us.

I was glad when visiting time was over and I could receive the rest of my instructions for taking care of Mom. Nurse Jennings also gave me five minutes to visit with my Mom alone. “Carl, I want you to understand, that you being Danica is in many ways a delight to me. Please understand for all of us Carl has been precious, so it is an emotion-filled time for everyone. I look forward to getting to know Danica and having a daughter.” We did more visiting but it was personal and much more instructions. The goodbye and goodnight was a mother-daughter experience, a joy for both.

Robert stopped on our way back as we missed our meal, but he did most of the eating. Danica followed Dawn’s lead to eat light this close to going to bed. Aunt Susan allowed me to use some boxes and to take all the hangers I needed the next day. I did not realize how many things I had until I tried to get them ready. I knew that would not go over so well with part of my family.

I was following Dawn’s schedule except for gym class. Wednesday had me in home economics and Dawn was working on a nice skirt and top outfit. The top was about done and the skirt pattern had just arrived. When Ms. Larkin asked if I could cut out the pattern and pin it, she could tell by Dawn’s expression she did not want it ruined.

Ms. Larkin measured me and then showed me patterns and materials she had that would be appropriate if I wanted to try. Since they were extras I could do a skirt for $10. I picked a light golden yellow shirt. With a little help and having to start over just once, Danica got a good start on pinning the pattern to the material. Ms. Larkin permitted me to come here in the afternoon while Dawn was in the gym.

She was asked, "Does Dawn's mother have a sewing machine that she might give you lessons on a few stitches that you will need."

"I am staying with my Aunt and she is just coming home from the hospital. So it would probably be Saturday before she could give me lessons."

"Well let’s see how you do with these lessons before we decide on the lining.

Before school and then again at lunch, I saw a guy who looked nice but seemed to be a loner. When I saw him at lunch I asked, "Dawn, do you know who he is?" Dawn thought his name was Mitch but needed to ask Zach. Zach told them he was a senior and a very nice guy but he was quiet and while girls liked him he never seemed to date.

When Zach admitted they were friends though not very close, Danica asked, "Zach, I want you to find out if he might be open to a double date?"

Zach, “Well if we are going too you might want to ask soon since he graduates, in ten days." Dawn clued Zach in that it would be him asking for Danica. He agreed to do so after school or that night.

Girls in the next class asked Danica if they could call her Dani. But by the look on her face, Dawn knew Danica thought it was too close to Dan and she might be recognized. She whispered to Danica, “No one will associate Dani with Dan, you are not a Tomboy.”

I was excited to get back to the Miller’s and start packing vehicles to get back home to see Mom. I was hoping she was already home. I tried calling the house but received no answer. We just started to load the Miller vehicle, when Drew and Judy showed up. Judy came from home and had nice clothes; so when she said she was jealous of my new wardrobe, I thought she was kidding or teasing me.

Dawn had to ask me< "Why didn’t you say thank you?" ...Then she told me, "You were out of line jumping to the conclusion you did." I went to Judy and apologized, and tried to explain myself.

Judy smiled saying, “No, I meant someone had good taste.”

Dawn overheard us and said, “You should see the prom dress, she wore last week.”

“You bought a prom dress and wore it to a prom. I want to see the dress and pictures.” Moving got delayed over an hour as seeing the gown and pictures led to my modeling it for her. Drew and Robert made some coffee; I was not sure Drew knew what I wasn’t asking.

Judy asked, "Who picked the gown and how did all this come about?" Dawn said, the stories were too long and we should get going. Judy told me to turn around and she undid the back of my gown, tapped me on the shoulder, and told me to go and change.

I was in heaven, but also a bit sensitive that my world could be crumbling. We got one vehicle loaded and decided that was more than enough to take home. Dawn knew things that were not yet in but were essential. She ferreted them out and they were loaded into Drew’s car. Aunt Susan was home and came instead of Robert.

When we drove up, I quickly knew Mom was home and rushed into the house to say hello and give a hug. Drew brought in Mrs. Miller and Dawn and I reintroduced everyone. Our neighbor Helen was over as well. I was surprised when I turned around and saw my grandmother Nana. My hands went up to cover my face in surprise as I was ready to cry.

Nana smiled, welcomed a hug, and whispered, "I knew but your Uncle Tom does not." I quickly knew that meant Uncle Tom had brought her as she did not drive. “You are very pretty and I am glad you will help to take care of my daughter, but you and I will need to talk sometime.”

Dawn’s phone rang and she answered it, then I heard a scream, “You’ve got a date for Friday. (pause) That is if you can and want to go out” Drew was not happy but he nor anyone else said anything. Mom smiles saying, "I think she can, but we'll need to talk first.”

The five of us moved things into my room and no one commented much about what or how much was brought into the house. I learned that Uncle Tom had planned to leave Nan until Friday, but they were going to change their mind until I said I would stay on the couch downstairs in the wreck room. Dawn helped me to fix the room and take downstairs what I needed. We checked my Uncle’s car and brought in Nan’s luggage.

The Millers excused themselves and left. Dawn would call later to see if I was going to school in the morning and if I needed a ride. That would mean more than an hour in the morning. I was moved that I had such friends who treated me special.

Dad joked that I had gotten home too late to get dinner so they would need to go out to eat. I said they could but that I thought Mom Greene should stay home and I would take care of her. Nan agreed about Mom needing to rest and that it was the men who needed the big meal. Mom always had a supply of meals she had frozen for a time when she had to go to the hospital. I found a container of frozen ravioli that she had made and frozen in a sauce. I got those out and set them in the microwave for a slow defrost. Nan would up a chicken broth for Mom as well as prepare some dinner rolls.

The Men left for dinner, Judy drove herself home, as well as Helen going back to her house and left us three women at home. The slow defrost of ravioli gave me time t check my Mom. She had seeped some drainage and needed to go to the bathroom. Nan was surprised to see me help Mom to do what she could and then allow me to clean her up and give her a fresh change of sleepwear.

Grandma said, “This is one of the better times your mother has had, coming home. Unlike having a group of men who cared and tried, but contributed to a stressful transition home. You are good medicine for your mother.” I expressed thanks and Mom expressed her appreciation. I excused myself to cook the dinner and see if there was another simple dish I could prepare.

I set the table and put a small pillow on Mom’s chair. She smiled as she ate and I anticipated her expression of thanks, “The best meals are the ones I do not cook; Danica and Mom thank you so much. This truly is a fine return home.”

Nana asked about how all my changes came about, and soon Mom took over the explaining. She was about halfway through and I said it was time to get her back to bed and rest. I helped her to get ready and back to bed including washing her after dinner and taking care of things and then helped her to bed. Nana sat with her and they talked. I cleaned up from dinner and set the dishes into the dishwasher and got that started.

Nan knew better than to ask how I did it all, the big difference was I did it without being hassled to do it. The men were back by 10 and my uncle was already on his way back home. Dawn called wondering about the date. I could have said ‘” No, but it meant delaying in seeing Mitch and being able to date Jeff again. So I asked Mom, answered some twenty questions before I receive permission.

I would go to school but I would probably be an extra 20 minutes late as I needed to help Mom. Dave gave me a ride to school at Middlesex. Like my Dad, he was not pleased with what I was doing. He would not say anything around Mom, but his ride to school was an inquisition. I held my ground and was not deflated by his remarks, “This is me live with it or stuff it.” He gave me a second-hand compliment, as I walked away, “For a sister, you are at least a good looking girl.”

It was fun talking to other girls at lunch; they enjoyed my insights to guys and it was a big learning curve for me in becoming a girl inside and out. Dawn used my help in getting ready for a test and helped me in preparing for exams I needed to take. While she was much smarter than me, math was a problem for her and a strength of mine. We had fun helping one another with papers and getting ready for exams. During a class, I was called out of class and my schedule for taking my special exams was given.

On my way back I bumped into Mitch emptying his locker and we talked. He’s a shy guy, but smart and easy to talk too; we were both excited about the date. His mom walked up behind us and Mitch introduced me. “You are as pretty as Mitch said. I would hope if your date goes well you will join us in celebrating Mitch’s graduation. It would be nice to have someone like you to share in his day. His Aunt Betty has… never mind… though she’s my sister, I wouldn’t mind if she ate some crow.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond and was glad in a way that my Mom’s health gave me an out. “I am discovering Mitch to be a special find and I do expect we will have a good time on our date. But with a sick mother, I can’t easily say what I can or will be doing Saturday and Sunday.”

The Principal came through saying hello to the others and that I needed to get back to class. I kissed Mitch on the cheek and said he should call sometime.

Dawn’s locker had a taped note “For Danica… from Stephanie Johnson”. The note inside said she was an old friend of Ray’s and my sister Michelle and that she knew Jasmine from way before the Prom Dress. It sent shivers up my spine. Michelle was an adopted sister and some three years older than Dave but estranged from the family for reasons I never understood. It was taboo to ask about her and other things I never figured out. But except for Michelle, I never thought much about them since I was told they had nothing to do with me. She lives some five hours away the last time I heard, but it might have well been 5000 miles.

Dawn informed me that Steph Johnson was a high school teacher and was a chaperone at the prom. “I bet she has a picture of you from the Prom because I remember her taking several photographs. When I got home and told my Mom about the note. Her facial expression changed and she told me, "You're not to mention the note or her name to anyone. I will talk to you later." I needed to help her, then shop for food and make dinner. (Carl had a traumatic episode in his life that is known to some and may soon again be known to him.)

We talked about our day, Mom with her mother and Dave and Dad stopping back in. She did take it easy, going out on the porch once. She was more comfortable having me home for the rest of the day. I added a feminine touch with a bit more strength and stability than her mother. While it wasn’t all pleasant work or something I naturally did before, the mother/daughter relationship of being there was very gratifying.

I shared my day at school and my project of working on a skirt. Mom's work with me on her sewing machine had paid off and the skirt was nicely taking shape and with Ms. Harper’s help, I was even doing the lining. Mom encouraged me to put in the slits up the sides saying that they did not go up too far but would help the skirt in the front to lie down and not rise. She said, “It is better to leave things to a guy’s imagination instead of a clear view.

“Mom, how can you say that to your daughter?”

“I have four sons and Carl knows all too well what I am saying.” We both laughed as I blushed. I told her about bumping into Mitch and then his mom and being invited to things for his graduation. That was if I enjoyed our date. I told Mom I felt caught a little. As Danica, I possibly would enjoy the date and like him and possibly even enjoy being seen as his girlfriend, but I know I shouldn’t and needed to be at home with her.

“You are right that I will still need you sometimes these coming days, but you are not going to be hiding behind me, to avoid decisions you need to make. You have decided to be Danica for now, if you want the family to make decisions for you, you will be back to just being Carl. That will not be a bad decision if it is your decision.” We talked some more and decided if I should so choose to help Mitch on Saturday from 10:30 — 3:00, that going to his graduation reception probably could be arranged.

Thursday evening went well until Dad got heated up hearing Michelle’s name and my note from Teacher Ms. Stephanie Johnson. Dad insisted he was not willing for his family to go through those experiences again. By the time I went to bed I was relieved I had an appointment with Drs. Myrt and Deb tomorrow.

Once again taking care of Mom and saying goodbye to Nana had me late in getting to school. I saw Jeff and thought it odd that I had a conflict of emotions between seeing him, Mitch, and what I was beginning to feel about guys in general. Under my breast forms and between my legs I was experiencing sensations I hadn’t noticed before these last few weeks but now they were growing.

It was actually a relief to be going to the doctor. Mom was well enough to go into the appointment with me. Aunt Susan gave us a ride. Part of me felt embarrassed and part of me was excited to be in the waiting room of my gynecologist. The nurse called me back and showed my Mom and Aunt to Dr. Myrt’s office. I was pleased that I had lost four more pounds, but the nurse did not share as much as before but wrote things down for the doctor. Dr. Deb examined me and treated me very well but she too was a bit more reserved than before.

Dr. Deb did take much more time visiting with me and asking a lot of questions. Some I knew were medical, some were to hear and understand my experiences but she seemed more interested in my ability to be me or to give up being Danica. The concern seemed to have more significance than was being shared. Yet she was quite sensitive and present if my eyes would have teared or cried.

I got dressed again and we went to Dr. Myrt’s office to visit more formally there. I was asked more direct by Dr. Myrt about whether I wanted to be Danica or Carl. I became defensive and shared, "I don't think I'm ready for such a decision and I think it is unfair and surprising that you would be pushing me for such a decision!"

They acknowledged that it was not fully their desire either but two things were making such questions and related decisions more important. Dr. Myrt calmly asked what I remembered from earlier in my life and the time I didn’t remember was more significant to me than I had let on to others. My feelings of identifying with girls and liking their things had not just started. They had begun to grow significantly since I was 10 as I remembered.

I'm told before the prom dress and Danica; I saw myself as Carl/Jasmine and that I was hurt very badly when I was seven. People had decided I needed to focus on just being Carl. Dr. Myrt did not say much more about that, but changed topics and explained that my body was beginning delayed puberty and they needed to decide whether to delay it or to aid its development.

“What if I and Danica are not ready for Carl’s voice and body to change?”

Dr. Deb spoke up, “It may not be Carl’s development we are worried about? You have spoken of some sensations you are feeling and mood changes you are experiencing that indicate your body may be developing more like a female.

Dr. Myrt spoke, “It is not just whether it is your female organs or your male organs that are developing, but that for you puberty is coming late and your development may need medical assistance to do so properly and functionally.”

"To complicate the situation, this is stressing your family situation and it might help if you went to live with the Millers or someone else for a while." I was overwhelmed and broke into tears at this point and was not easily consoled. Mom, Aunt Susan, and Dr. Deb surrounded me to console me. I felt bad as I was not ill in the same way my mother was. I was feeling a strong sense of will and stubbornness welling up inside of me.

“I and others may need some space and maybe there are things that are out of my control, but I am not just going to be pushed here or there. I am not going to just abandon my mother or give up my opportunity to be there for her as her daughter. I am not a yo-yo nor guilty of more than being me. I am very upset that something happened to me that I don’t know about.”

“If Aunt Susan is here because someone wants me to go there today. It may happen but not today, I will have this weekend to be there for my Mom and she for me, or pardon me but you will see one ugly ‘B * h’ in a moment.”

Most everyone went silent including me for a moment then it was my Mom half smiling and half crying that broke into laughter and hugged me and said, “Your wisdom amazes me young lady and I am glad you are my daughter.”

Mom said, “Yes it might be helpful if not essential you stay with the Millers for a while, but I too want you to be with me the next few days and my daughter always.”

Dr. Myrt had been to see other patients and was now back in the office and was being updated by my Intern Deb. She seemed to be relieved, but stated, "We still have a ticking clock regarding Carl/Danica’s development and the use of blockers and/or hormone therapy. Regularly Danica would be too young for female hormone therapy, but Dr. Deb’s research convinces me we may have a young woman who could be harmed more by delaying in helping her. It is in some ways a medical emergency."

They went on to explain that it appeared I would over time develop more like a woman than as a man, but without proper attention now my hormone development was too weak to help me to develop to be a functioning woman.

I did ask to meet with Drs Myrt and Deb alone; I told them I was afraid in the long run. That by living with the Millers I would lose Danica as my best friend. That I would need support and guidance that would strain their family and me. It did not call for a decision today. I liked the idea of finishing the school year with Danica and just being me for a while, but sometimes something needed to be done.

Dr. Myrt said, "I understand, but I don’t think a traditional foster or group home would be good. A good situation would take time and be hard to find."

We met with my mother and agreed to begin a light regiment of female hormones. It was also agreed that I would be seeing a psychologist to help to deal with my emotional and mental wellbeing as well as my transgender issues. It was a Dr. Sara Stanz, whom she was recommending and an initial appointment was set for the Tuesday after school was out.

I felt bad as we were riding home and I took out my phone to call Dawn and Mitch to cancel our double date. Mom interrupted me and Mrs. Miller agreed that it would probably be good for me to go out and relax. It was early enough with only a little rush I could help my Mom, prepare dinner, and get a shower, and ready for my date.

Poor Mitch came to the door to pick me up and was given a cool greeting by my father. Mom was quickly present and made the atmosphere a bit warmer and more gracious. My outfit was quite cute, even if it was I saying so. Mom and Mitch said the same. The skirt was slightly above the knee but would slide up nicely when I was seated. Mitch agreed to take care of me, have me home on time, and treat me with respect. Gruffly my father said, “Whatever.” Mom chimed in for us to have an enjoyable time.

Zach was driving and he and Dawn helped Mitch to relax by the time we got to the diner. We decided to go to the later show and just got a small bite and visit. It was helpful for Zach and Mitch to have been friends. Zach kind of guided the conversation with Dawn’s help for us to get visiting.

Before we left the diner Mitch and I were visiting pretty well with one another. When we got to the car, I kissed Mitch on the cheek to say thanks for the dinner, and he greeted me with a warm hug. He apologized for being too forward. “A warm kiss on the lips might have been forward, but I think I would have enjoyed it.” With that said he spun me back, hugged me, and kiss on the lips, with a hand softly touching my chin.

Mitch was not as strong as Jeff, but his touch and warmth were very pleasing. The movie had a good blend of romance and action that everyone found enjoyable to see. Fortunately, Mitch’s warmth and attention caused me to miss a fairly good part of the movie. I felt myself getting hot and felt a sense of joy that deep down it was the birthing of the girl in me. I knew Mitch had become excited as well and did all I could from getting too forward with him way too fast.

Unfortunately, I was picked up last and dropped off first. It was over an hour before Dawn or Denise would reply to me texting them. We each took turns talking about how our nights were. Dawn praised me for being a good girl. I was amused as Denise, Dawn, and I were on chat together. I could sense their affection for one another as well as show their interest in the other night with their date.

Mom had left a note that Dr. Deb had called and asked if I would like to go biking sometime with her and ended up agreeing to a short ride of five miles at 5:30 a.m. I was up and did enjoy myself with Debbie as she asked me to call her apart from work. Her idea of a leisure ride and mine had to do more with the fact she was in good condition and I was not.

We stopped by a bike shop on our way home, and the owner was there for a bike club that would meet there. He and Debbie showed me a few bicycles: lightweight, 24-32 gears, and more information than I understood. I found a bike and helmet I loved and Debbie and I took it for a spin. We ended at my house and there I found out my boy’s bike had been traded-in.

My bicycle was an inexpensive bike four years ago, and the new one cost over $500 before the helmet, warranty, and taxes. Debbie said it was her insanity money as she was finished med-school and had income coming in. She asked if we could go to the graduation reception the next day as cousins or friends as I would need a ride.

I would end up enjoying both and felt like she was a big sister, who was both a close friend and someone I could confide with about things I didn’t even ask Dawn about. I found out Debbie did have a boyfriend. He would come with us to Mitch’s reception and he was a good-looking guy, but as she said better decoration than longtime love.

That morning Dad apologized for how he was acting and thanked me for being there for Mom. He tried to say more, but could only get a phrase out and then stopped and could not go on. I sensed he still felt really angry, a bit guilty, and hurt about things that happened or would happen. I wasn’t sure if I was thankful or angry that he tried.

I excused myself and helped mom with a shower, to begin her day. Dr. Deb checked my Mom as well as watched how I cared for her. “Your Mom has made remarkable progress and I am sure that has to do with your care as well as your mother’s strong constitution. Mitch was over by 10:30, and I was ready to get out of the house.

Mitch’s mom Dorothy was very warm and welcoming; Mitch’s dad was out playing a round of golf. The house was already very clean, we were doing a lot of the extras and getting coolers, and giant tubs, as well as tables and extra chairs ready. Part of the time I worked with Mrs. Klein; I enjoyed her talking about Mitch. She was quite happy that he and I were dating.

Mitch and I worked together a fair portion of the time and he had a quiet sense of humor that I was getting to appreciate. He too was on the school’s baseball team. While he was not considered a star he was considered an important player and contributor to the team. I guess, I like others equated his quietness to his computer geek nature and discounted him as an athlete. Half of his full-ride scholarship was in fact for his playing baseball. Monday, their team had one more game they needed to win to qualify for the state playoffs.

I miss playing sports but this year my life was busy enough learning to be a girl.

Mitch’s Mom bought us some sub-sandwiches for a late lunch and shared we were about done with their projects. I could tell by Mitch’s expression and Dorothy looking at other things it was not true. The only thing I saw her look at repeatedly was the windows.

Windows are low on my welcomed list of chores, but I did have an idea to make them more enjoyable. I volunteered to do the downstairs windows as long as I could if Mitch was willing to clean the outside windows. Dorothy was relieved, and Mitch was willing though not very happy. Dorothy would help me with our windows which cut our part in half. It was almost the bewitching hour of three when I needed to get home.

I had just finished my last window of the day and raced outside. Mitch had finished the upstairs window and was working on the main floor. I came around to find the hose and teased Mitch and then gave him a good squirt. With any luck, I would have my first wet top experience. Mitch was too much a gentleman and wrestled away the hose, despite getting wetter. I needed to go to plan B and grabbed his water bucket and began to charge him when he gave up being nice and hosed me down. I did succeed in getting him with the bucket of dirty water. Happily, I was soaked from the top-up. I got to wear one of Mitch’s baseball jersey’s home. We exchanged kisses in the car and I raced into the house for my room but I stumbled. Dad complained, “You must have gotten a bit indecent, besides wasting my time, you should be ashamed of being out like that.”

Mom told Dad to stop and be quiet. I began to cry, “How can you be so cruel, when I love you and Mom?” Mom wanted to help me to my room but it was I who needed to be caring for her. “Let me change and collect myself, then I will be out to help you and prepare dinner.”

I was making fried chicken, potatoes, gravy, and a vegetable. My mom had taught each of us boys to cook a little. Come Thursday it was nice to have Nana help me cook. I felt like a little girl learning at her skirt. Tonight, I had Mom at my side and again I was the little girl this time and Mom was letting me cook and carry out her directions. It was funny how much Nana and Mom differed in cooking because they often used similar recipes. Mom measured everything and Nan used a pinch of this and poured in ingredients knowing what a cup was, not measuring it. They both kept a close watch over their meals and taught me to work to have everything prepared within five minutes of the other dishes.

I wanted to change the meal as it was a favorite of Dad’s and I didn’t want to be pleasing to him. My oldest brother showed up unannounced and Dad quickly invited them to dinner. Frying more chicken, adding potatoes, and cooking more vegetables was not a hard fix.

Mom told me she prepared many meals angry at me or another person in the family. It might take away her appetite, but she tried to make the meal just as good.

The dinner went well, I didn’t need to worry, as dad wasn’t pleased, “It isn’t like what your Mom makes, not even close.” Mom said, “You did real good Danica, it’s too bad Nana is not here to enjoy it.” I was disappointed others did not speak up, though everything was eaten. I had baked an apple pie before I started dinner. I wanted to save it for Sunday dinner, but they chose to have it tonight. I ate my piece in the kitchen and then went to sulk in my room.

I text Denise to update her on what was happening but was required to help Drew with the dishes. My niece came to visit while I was drying the dishes, but she was disappointed I did not have girl toys from when I was younger. Drew laughed and shared he knew where a box of Michelle’s toys was. But they couldn’t come out today and have our niece ask about Michelle.

By the time I was back to text Denise or Dawn they were out for the night, and while they would respond, it was not an ongoing conversation. I helped Mom with a few things and then got into shampooing her hair and redoing her fingernails. Jamie liked what I did and we soon had permission to do her nails. This included doing her toenails in two shades of pink. She and I wanted to do it a bit wilder, but they did look cute and better for Sunday.

Mrs. Pfister called around 9:00 pm. to see if we were going to church and if Danica could help by sitting with her and her children. Mom called me and had me talk to Mrs. Pfister. It would be her first time back at our church. It was a chance for me to go to church and see a lot of people I knew and allow my Dad to be reasonably comfortable that I was there as a niece sitting away from them with Mrs. Pfister.

It was already a very warm morning so I wore one of my sundresses and carried a wrap I could slip on if the AC was too cool. It was like a warm mini-reunion seeing the Pfisters. Jane, the eldest daughter said, “My daddy had come home for a visit and he would be living at home again soon. Mommy said you know daddy sometimes wears dresses but we should not be talking about that around other people.”

I asked Jane if she had seen her daddy dressed like a woman? She told me, “Yes, but she looks better since mommy has helped him. He’s to dress as himself when we go out and most of the time we are home.” We were no sooner seated and Jane and Drake said they needed to go to the bathroom.

At two, Drake was wearing big boy underpants that needed help in pulling down. We hurried to the women’s restroom a distance away. I needed to take Drake into a stall and help him with his underpants and get him on the toilet. I was outside the door until he said he was ready. Luckily he only peed and I did not need to wipe his butt. Jane was ready and waiting as I helped Drake to wash his hands and brush his hair. We were back just before worship began. It was just before the Gospel reading and Caroline began to act up and I grabbed the diaper bag and Caroline. I first tried to give her a bottle there, but it was obvious she wanted to be nursing and need a change as well.

After worship Mrs. Pfister visited with my parents (Aunt and Uncle), Dad expressed a deep appreciation for his niece her helping her Aunt. I would have been really hot if I was not so close to tears. I was thankful I could walk away with Caroline in one arm and Drake holding my hand or wrapped around my legs.

We went out for dinner and I did not have to cook. When we got home I needed to attend to Mom’s needs, get her to rest, and get ready for Debbie to pick me up for Mitch’s graduation reception. Debbie’s Les was driving and I am sure he saw and knew me only as a girl. I had text Mitch I was on my way and Zach was at the road to direct us to a parking spot saved especially for us.

Dorothy’s sister Leah was quickly over and gave a snide compliment saying she was delightfully surprised such a cute girl actually showed up. I returned the compliment with my own zinger. “Aunt Leah it is an honor to meet you and you are as beautiful as Mitch said, I am surprised as I did not know you were twins.” In reality, Dorothy was just over two years older than her sister Leah. I was pulled away by Debbie and she required me to apologize to Mrs. Klein and if she felt helpful to Aunt Leah.

I apologized to Mitch’s Mom and was encouraged to go my way and spend time with Mitch. I don’t think I ever had so many pictures taken of me. Mitch’s friends, guys, and gals were complimenting me, saying Mitch deserved someone pretty like me that I was a smart young lady.

Come 7:30 Mitch was ready to get away and visit the receptions of classmates. I had Deb’s permission to be out until 9:00 and to call her to let her know where I was to be picked up. Mitch drew a lot of attention at other receptions and was enjoying his time in the limelight. He was finally being recognized as someone special.

I called Deb and was picked up and told while I would get to say goodnight and check on my Mom, my stuff was already moved to the Millers where I would be sleeping tonight.

Started with a Prom Dress - Chapter 5 — Danica Goes in Different Directions

Wednesday, Danica would meet Stephanie Johnson and learn more about her past…

Dawn and Danica should they be Sisters or Best Friends, in the spirit they would be both…

If not with the Millers who would Danica live with, too many moves could be a growing problem. A lot of people liked the Danica they saw and knew, but would they like her if they really knew her? …

Luckily for Danica, Mom was a strong-willed person and she knew by the second night Danica should have been there. She confronted Dad to find out what was happening and plainly said it was no time to divide the family.

She could use Danica when she got home the following day or the day after. “I have recently got to see and be there for the daughter I never had. If Danica sees herself as a girl and daughter I for one want to give her the chance to be a young woman and a daughter to me, her mother.”

“She is already known as our niece and I expect when this mood passes on, Carl will be back. So, for now, that will be my compromise and I want her, helping at the house.”

It was 6:00 pm. when I received the call. I had been to school at Middlesex and had a good day with one exception. Learning Mom was in the hospital was the second and I knew I would get over both. With Robert and Dawn’s help, I was to the hospital by 7; the coldness of my Dad and a brother indicated why I did not know earlier. Right now my focus was on loving and visiting my Mom. As a family, we usually did well in uniting at such times.

Mom said she would either be released tomorrow or the next day and she asked if I would be okay helping her. “Mom how can I help you; you should already know I would love to.”

“If you stay a bit late tonight or come tomorrow so a nurse can show you." I looked at Dawn and knew we could stay a half-hour after visiting hours.”

While everyone was there, it came time for a nurse to check her. The nurse excused others and asked me to stay and observe. I guess it made sense but I didn’t know there was a urinal designed for women.

Nor had I known of the scars from Mom's previous surgeries or how beautiful she was despite the scars. I can’t believe it at such a sensitive time, I asked, “Do you think if I remain as Danica I could be as beautiful as you?”

Mom laughed and smiled and the nurse said that was sweet. I guess it wasn’t so insensitive. Mom grabbed my hand, “You are to be a beautiful person one way or the other. Come prom night you should have seen this young lady, I was jealous of her.”

Nurse Jennings replied, “So I guess she does take after you. Danica, if I weren’t trying to instruct you I would have seen that.” She had me rub a skin cream over my mother’s back and massage it in. “Remember like with make-up a little can go a longer way than one first thought.” She checked the drainage site and told me while the tube would be out I needed to religiously check it out and make sure it was clean and not draining.

I was quite humbled that I would be checking my Mom and helping her like this.

The nurse asked me if and what I could cook or do around the house. There are only two of us left at home but my brothers and I learned to cook some and do a lot around the house. It was a joke, we were supposed to grow up and make some good woman a good wife as well as a husband. One would think such a family would be more sensitive to one, like me. I rattled off a list of what I could cook and shared my Mom had a file of recipes for whatever we were to cook.

Nurse Jennings said, “You should call my little sister Mary Skibb and give her some lessons.”

“You’re Mary’s sister, I knew she had one sister two years older but I didn’t know she had an older sister your age. I use to sit behind her and I love her long dark hair. I tried to be a friend but she was way too smart and pretty for me.”

The nurse said, "Yes, I am an antique, nine years older than her, and three years older than your oldest brother. I will need to make sure I don’t speak about who I saw in the hospital. But if you did get to give her a lesson in cooking… You can tell your family they can come back to visit… I will still want to visit for about fifteen minutes after visiting time. Thanks for helping I think you will do fine.”

Dad came back in and had a few questions for me, like when I would move back in and what help I needed. I was told I could help my mother but I wasn’t to be in the bathroom when she was in there if my help wasn’t needed. You know the bathroom is small so don’t be planning on leaving your make-up in there and or do things you can do in your room…

I said, “The room has a desk not a vanity, a small closet, and is designed and decorated for a guy, but I will try to make due. I suspect I will move home tomorrow and I need help moving my stuff after school.” Robert volunteered himself and Dawn, but I knew Dawn had chorus practice for graduation.

Dad said, “I hear you had a good day today with only one problem, what was that?”

“Dad it isn’t a big problem and I am sure you don’t want to hear it anyway.”

I knew dad would ask again and not back off but insist I tell him. “I am sure you don’t want to hear it but insist. The guy who took me to the prom didn’t have anything to do with me today. He heard I need to date another guy before I could date him.” I was right neither my Dad, nor brother wanted to know.

I said, "Brother if you need anything done for Friday or this weekend please makes sure we know by Thursday. I will do what I can but I won’t be hassled and still be expected to be nice. And Judy if there is anything I can do for you please let me know. If Mom, can’t be at the promenade, I will get there and take some pictures of you, but I expect we will manage to get her there and back.

Seemingly Judy accepted me and found me cute, I am not sure if she believed I was a niece or knew I was Carl. Drew was not angry with Judy, but he didn’t like it. Judy shared they would stop at the house before going to the promenade.

Drew spoke up about my moving back to the house, saying he and Judy would be willing to help tomorrow but closer to the prom would be harder. I went to give him a hug for saying he would help, but I paused thinking he might be uncomfortable. Judy came over patted me on the back, then my brother stepped up and gave me a light hug.

We would as brothers hug if it was significant. Judy stepped forward hugged me and whispered, “You feel more like my sister, Carl doesn’t have bumps.” I could not help but laugh out loud. Others asked what was said but Judy winked and it stayed between us.

I was glad when visiting time was over and I could receive the rest of my directions for taking care of Mom. Nurse Jennings also gave me five minutes to visit with my Mom alone.

“Carl, I want you to understand, that being Danica is in many ways is a delight to me. Carl has been precious, so it is an emotion-filled time for everyone. I am looking forward to getting to know Danica and have a daughter.” We did more visiting but it was personal and as much as looks and touches as words. The goodbye and goodnight was a mother-daughter experience, a joy for both.

Robert stopped on our way back to get something to eat as we missed our meal, but he did most of the eating. Danica followed Dawn’s lead eating light this close to going to bed. Aunt Susan allowed me to use some containers and to take all the hangers I needed the next day. I did not realize how many things I had until I tried to get them ready. I knew that would not go over so well with part of my family.

I was following Dawn’s schedule except for gym class. Wednesday had me in home-economics and Dawn was working on a nice skirt and top outfit. The top was about done and the skirt pattern had just arrived. Ms. Larkin asked if I could cut out the pattern and pin it. She could tell by Dawn’s expression she did not want me to practice and ruin her skirt.

Ms. Larkin measured me and then showed me patterns and material she had that would be appropriate if I wanted to try. Since they were extras I could do a skirt for $10. I picked a light golden yellow color. With a little help and having to start over just once, I got a good start on pinning the pattern to the material. Ms. Larkin permitted me to come back in the afternoon while Dawn was at the gym.

I was asked if my mother had a sewing machine and if she could give me some lessons on a few stitches I would need. I told her I'm staying with my Aunt and she is just coming home from the hospital. It would probably be Saturday before she could give me any lessons. "Well let’s see how you do with the lessons before we decide on the lining."

Before school and then again at lunch I saw a guy who looked nice but seemed to be a loner. When at lunch I asked Dawn if she knew who he was.

Dawn thought his name was Mitch but needed to ask Zach. Zach told them he was a senior and a very nice guy but he was quiet and while girls liked him he never seemed to date anyone.

Zach admitted they were friends though not very close, I asked if it might be possible if we could double date. Zach, “Well if you're going out with him you might want to ask soon since he graduates Sunday. Dawn clued Zach in that it would be him asking for Danica. He agreed to do so after school or that night.

Girls in the next class asked Danica if they could call her Dani. So Dani quickly became my nickname at school.

I was excited to get back to Miller’s and to start packing. I wanted to get back home to see Mom, hoping she was already home. I tried calling the house but received no answer. We just started to load the Miller vehicle, when Drew and Judy showed up. Judy came from a very good family and had nice clothes; so when she said she was jealous of my wardrobe, I thought she was kidding or teasing me.

Dawn had to ask why I didn’t say thank you. She told me I was out of line jumping to the conclusion I did. I went up to Judy alone and apologized, and tried to explain myself. Judy smiled saying, “No, I meant someone had really good taste.”

Dawn overheard us and said, “You should see her in the prom dress, she wore last week.”

“You bought a prom dress and wore it to a prom. I want to see the dress and pictures.” Moving got delayed over an hour as seeing the gown and pictures lead to my modeling it for her. Drew and Robert had some coffee; I was not sure Drew knew what was going on and I didn’t ask.

Judy asked who picked the gown and how did all this come about. Dawn spoke up, saying the stories were too long and we should get going. Judy told me to turn around and she undid the back of my gown, tapped me on the shoulder, and told me to go and change.

I was in heaven but was worried that my world would come tumbling down. We got the one vehicle loaded and decided that it was enough to take home.

Dawn knew things that were not yet in the vehicle but were essential. She ferreted them out and they were loaded into Drew’s car. Aunt Susan was now home and came instead of Robert.

When we drove up, I quickly knew Mom was home and rushed into the house to say hello and give a hug. Drew brought in Mrs. Miller and Dawn and I reintroduced everyone. Our neighbor Helen was over as well. I was surprised when I turned around and saw my grandmother Nana. My hands went up to cover my face in surprise, I was ready to cry.

Nana smiled, welcomed a hug, and then whispered she knew but my Uncle Tom did not. I quickly knew that meant Uncle Tom had brought her as she no longer drove. “You are very pretty and I am glad you will help take care of my daughter, but you and I will need to talk sometime.”

Dawn’s phone rang and she answered it, then I heard a scream, “You’ve got a date. (pause) That is if you can and want to go”. Drew was not happy but he or anyone else said anything. Mom smiled, I think she can, but we need to talk first.”

The five of us moved things into my room and no one commented much about what or how much was brought into the house. I learned that Uncle Tom planned to leave Nan until Friday, but they were going to change their minds. That was until I said I would stay in on the couch downstairs in the wreck room. Dawn helped me to fix the room and take downstairs what I needed. We checked my Uncle’s car and brought in Nan’s luggage.

The Millers excuse themselves and left. Dawn called later to see if I was going to school in the morning and if I needed a ride. That would mean more than an extra half hour for them in the morning. I was moved that I had such recent friends who treated me special...

Dad joked that I had gotten home too late to get dinner so they would need to go out to eat. I said they could but that Mom Greene should stay home and I would take care of her. Nan agreed about Mom needing t rest and that it was the men who needed the big meal. Mom always had a supply of meals she had frozen for any time when she had to go to the hospital. I found a container of frozen ravioli that she had made and frozen in a sauce. I got those out and set them in the microwave for a slow defrost. Nan would cook up a chicken broth as well as prepare some dinner rolls.

The men left for dinner, Judy drove herself home, as Helen went back to her house, leaving us three women at home. The slow defrost of ravioli gave me time to check my Mom. She had both seeped some drainage as well as needed to go to the bathroom. Nan was surprised to see me help Mom. She took over but then allow me to clean her up and give her a fresh change of sleepwear.

Grandma said, “This was one of the better times your mother has had, coming home and adjusting. Having a group of men who tried, often contributed to a stressful transition home. You are good medicine for your mother.” I expressed thanks and Mom expressed her appreciation. I excused myself to cook up the dinner and see if there was another simple dish I could prepare.

I set the table and put a small pillow on Mom’s chair. She smiled as she ate and I appreciated her expression of thanks, “The best meals are the ones I do not cook; Danica, this truly is a fine return home.”

Nana asked about how all my changes came about and Mom took over the explaining. She was about halfway through when I said it was time to get her back to bed and rest. I helped her to get ready and back to bed including washing her after dinner and taking care of things and helped her to bed.

Nana sat with her and they talked. I cleaned up from dinner and set the dishes into the dishwasher and got that started.

Nan knew better than to ask how I did it all, the big difference was I did it without being hassled to do so. The men were back by 10 and my uncle was on his way back home. Dawn called wondering about the date. I could have said ‘No', but it meant being delayed in seeing Mitch and being able to date Jeff again. So I asked Mom and answered some twenty questions before I receive permission.

I would go to school but I would be an extra 20 minutes late as I needed to help Mom. Dave, my oldest brother, gave me a ride to school at Middlesex. Like my Dad, he was not pleased with what I was doing, he would not say anything around Mom, but his ride to school was an inquisition.

I held my ground and was not deflated, “This is me, live with it or stuff it.” He gave me a second-hand compliment as I walked away, “For a sister, you are at least a good looking girl.”

It was fun talking to other girls at lunch; they enjoyed my insights to guys; they were a big learning curve for me in becoming a girl inside and out. Dawn used my help in getting ready for a test and helped me in preparing for exams I needed to take. While she was much smarter than me, math was a problem for her and my strength. We had fun helping one another with papers and getting ready for exams. During the class, I was called out of class. My schedule for taking my special exams was given.

On my way back I bumped into Mitch emptying his locker and we talked. He’s a shy guy, but smart and easy to talk too; we were both excited about the date. His mom walked up behind us and Mitch introduced me. “You are as pretty as Mitch said. I would hope if your date goes well you will join us in celebrating Mitch’s graduation. It would be nice to have someone like you to share in his day. His Aunt Betty has… never mind… though she’s my sister, I wouldn’t mind if she ate some crow.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond and was glad in a way that my Mom’s health gave me an out. “I am discovering
Mitch to be a special find and I do expect we will have a good time on our date. But with a sick mother, I can’t easily say what I can or will be doing Saturday and Sunday.”

The Principal came through saying hello to the others and that I needed to get back to class. I kissed Mitch on the cheek and said he should call sometime.

Dawn’s locker had a taped note “For Danica… from Ms. Stephanie Johnson”. The note inside said she was an old friend of Ray’s and my sister, Michelle. When she knew Danica from way before the Prom Dress. It sent shivers up my spine.

Michelle was adopted and some three years older than Dave, but estranged from the family for reasons I never understood. It was taboo to ask about her and other things I never figured out. Except for Michelle, I never thought much about it. I was told they had nothing to do with me. Michelle lives some five hours away the last time I heard, but it might have well been 5000 miles.

Dawn informed me that Steph Johnson was a High School Teacher and was a chaperone at the prom. “I bet she has a picture of you from the Prom. I remember her taking some photographs. When I got home and told my Mom about the note. Her facial expression changed and she told me, I was not to mention the note or her name to anyone.

She said she would talk to me later. I needed to help her, then shop for food and make dinner. (Carl had a traumatic episode in his life that is known to some and may soon again be known to me.)

We talked about our day, Mom with her mother and Dave and Dad stopping back in. She did take it easy, going out on the porch once. She was more comfortable having me home for the rest of the day. I added a feminine touch with a bit more strength and stability than her mother. While it wasn’t all pleasant work or things I naturally did before; the mother/daughter relationship made being there for her very gratifying.

I shared my day at school and my project of working on my skirt. Mom’s work with me on her sewing machine paid off and the skirt was nicely taking shape and with Ms. Harkin’s help, I was even doing the lining. Mom encouraged me to put in the slits up the sides making sure they did not go up too far but would help the skirt in the front to lie down and not rise. Mom said, “It is better to leave things to a guy’s imagination instead of a clear view.”

“Mom, how can you say that to your daughter?”

“I have four sons and Carl knows all too well what I am saying.” We both laughed as I blushed. I told her about bumping into Mitch and then his mom and being invited to things for his graduation if I enjoyed our date. I told Mom I felt caught a little. As Danica, I likely would enjoy the date and him. I'd possibly even enjoy being seen as his girlfriend, but I know I'm needed to be at home with her.

“You are right that I will still need you sometimes these coming days, but you are not going to be hiding behind me, to avoid decisions you need to make. You have decided to be Danica for now. If you want the family to make decisions for you, you will be back to just being Carl. That will not be a bad decision if it is your decision.” We talked some more before I decided I would choose to help Mitch on Saturday from 10:30 — 3:00. Even going to his graduation reception probably could be arranged.

Thursday evening went well until Dad got heated up hearing Michelle’s name and about my note from Teacher Stephanie Johnson. Dad insisted he was not willing for his family to go through those experiences again. I thought things were quite unfair as the fuss concerned me, but no one would tell me what happened. By the time I went to bed I was relieved I had an appointment with doctors Myrt and Deb tomorrow.

Once again taking care of Mom and saying goodbye to Nana had me late in getting to school. I saw Jeff and thought it odd that I had a conflict of emotions between seeing him, Mitch, and what I was beginning to feel about guys in general. Under my breast forms and between my legs, I was experiencing sensations I hadn’t noticed before the last few weeks but now they were growing.

It was a relief to be going to the doctor. Mom was well enough to go to the visit with me. Aunt Susan gave us a ride. Part of me felt embarrassed while part of me was excited to be in the waiting room of my Gynecologist. The nurse called me back and showed my Mom and Aunt to Dr. Myrt’s office. I was pleased that I had lost four more pounds, but the nurse did not share as much as before but wrote things down for the doctor. Dr. Deb examined me and treated me very well but she too was a bit more reserved than before.

Dr. Deb did take much more time visiting with me and asking a lot of questions. Some I knew were medical, some were to hear and understand my experiences. She seemed more interested in my ability to be or give up being Danica. The concern seemed to have more significance than I was being told. Yet she was quite sensitive. if I cried.

I got dressed again and we went to Dr. Myrt’s office to visit more formally there. I was asked more directly by Dr. Myrt about whether I wanted to be Danica or Carl. I became defensive and shared I did not think I was ready for such a decision. I thought it was unfair and surprising that they would be pushing for such a decision.

They acknowledged that it was not fully their desire either but two things were making such questions and related decisions more important. Dr. Myrt calmly asked what I remembered from earlier in my life. Then said the time I didn’t remember was more significant to me that others had let on. My feelings of identifying with girls and liking their things did not just begin to grow in significance since I was 10 as I thought.

Before the Prom Dress and before Danica; I saw myself as Carl/Jasmine and that I was hurt badly when I was seven and people decided then I needed to focus on being Carl. Dr. Myrt did not say much more about that but changed topics. They explained that my body had delayed puberty but was now trying to begin. That they needed to decide whether to delay it or to aid its development.

I asked, “What if I as Danica am not ready for Carl’s voice and body to change?”

Dr. Deb spoke up, “It may not be Carl’s development we are worried about? You have spoken of some sensations you are feeling and the mood changes you are experiencing. That indicates your body may be developing more like a female.

Dr. Myrt spoke, “It is not just whether it is your female organs or your male organs that are developing, but that for you puberty is coming late and your development may need medical assistance to properly function.”

"To complicate the situation, this is stressing your family situation and it might help if you went to live with the Millers or with someone else for a while. I was overwhelmed and broke into tears at this point; I was not easily consoled. Mom, Aunt Susan, and Dr. Deb surrounded me to console me. I felt guilty as I was not ill in the same way my mother was. I felt a strong sense of will and stubbornness welling up inside of me.

“I and others may need some space and maybe there are things that are out of my control, but I am not just going to be pushed here or there. I am not going to abandon my mother or give up my opportunity to be here for her as her daughter. I am not a yo-yo, or guilty of being me. I am very upset that something happened to me that I don’t know about.”

“If Aunt Susan is here because someone thinks I need to go there. It may happen but not today, I will have this weekend to be there for my Mom and she for me. Pardon me but you will see one ugly ‘B * h’ in a moment!”

Most everyone went silent including me for a moment then it was my Mom half smiling and half crying that broke into laughter hugged me and said, “Your wisdom amazes me young lady and I am glad you are my daughter.”

Mom said, “Yes it might be helpful if not essential you stay with the Millers for awhile. But I too want you to be with me the next few days and my daughter always.”

Dr. Myrt had been to see other patients and was now back in the office and was being updated her Intern Deb. She seemed to be relieved but stated we still have a ticking clock regarding Carl/Danica’s development and the use of blockers and/or hormone therapy. Regularly Danica would be too young for female hormone therapy. Dr. Deb’s research convinces me we may have a young woman who could be harmed more by delaying our helping her.

They went on to explain that it appeared I would over time develop more like a woman than as a man. Without proper attention now my hormone development was too weak to help me to develop to be a functioning woman.

I asked to meet with Drs Myrt and Deb alone. I told them, “I am afraid, by living with the Millers I would lose Danica’s best friend. I needed support and guidance that would strain their family with me. It does not call for a decision today. I liked the idea of finishing the school year as Danica and just being me for a while. But sometimes something will need to be done.”

Dr. Myrt said she understood, but didn’t think a traditional foster or group home would be good and a good situation would take time to find.

We met with my mother and agreed to begin a light regiment of female hormones now. It was also agreed that I would begin seeing a psychologist to be dealing with my emotional and mental well-being as well as my transgender issues. It was a Dr. Sara Stanz, whom she was recommending and an initial appointment was set for the Tuesday after school was out.

I felt bad as we were riding home and I took out my phone to call Dawn and Mitch to cancel our double date. Mom interrupted me and Mrs. Miller agreed that it would probably be good for me to go out and relax. It was early enough with only a little rush I could help my Mom, prepare dinner, get a shower, and ready for my date.

Poor Mitch came to the door to pick me up and was given a cool greeting by my father. Mom was quickly present and made the atmosphere a bit warmer. My outfit was cute, even if it was I saying so. Mom and Mitch said the same. The skirt was slightly above the knee but would slide up nicely when I was seated.

Mitch agreed to take care of me, have me home on time, and treat me with respect. Gruffly my father said, “Whatever.” Mom chimed in for us to have an enjoyable time.

Zach was driving, he and Dawn helped Mitch to relax by the time we got to the diner. We decided to go to the later show and just get a small bite and visit. It was helpful for Zach and Mitch to have been friends. Zach kind of guided the conversation with Dawn’s help.

Before we left the diner Mitch and I were visiting pretty well. When we got to the car, I kissed Mitch on the cheek to say thanks for the dinner. He greeted me with a warm hug. He apologized for being too forward. “A warm kiss on the lips might have been forward, but I think I would enjoy it.” With that said he spun me back, hugged me, and kiss on the lips, with a hand softly touching my chin.

Mitch was not strong like Jeff, and his touch and warmth were very pleasing. The movie had a good blend of romance and action that everyone found enjoyable to see. Fortunately, Mitch’s warmth and attention caused me to miss a fairly good part of the movie. I felt myself getting hot and felt a sense of joy that deep down it was the birthing of the girl in me. I knew Mitch had become excited as well. I did all I could from getting too forward with him too fast.

Unfortunately, I was picked up last and dropped off first. It was over an hour before Dawn or Denise would reply to me texting them. We each took turns talking about how our nights were. Dawn praised me for being a good girl. I was amused as Denise, Dawn, and I was on chat together. I could sense their affection for one another as well as show their interest in the others' night with their date.

Mom had left a note that Dr. Deb had called and asked if I would like to go biking sometime. I ended up agreeing to a short ride of five miles at 5:30 a.m. I was up and enjoyed myself with Debbie as she asked me to call her apart from work. Her idea of a leisure ride and mine had to do more with the fact she was in good condition and I was not.

We stopped by a bike shop on our way home, and the owner was there for a bike club that met there. He and Debbie showed me a few bicycles: lightweight, 24-32 gears, there was more information than I understood. I found a bike and helmet I loved and Debbie and I took it for a spin. We ended at my house and I found out my boy’s bike had been traded-in.

My bicycle was an inexpensive bike four years ago, and the new one cost over $500 before the helmet, warranty, and taxes. Debbie said it was her sanity money as she was now finished med-school and had income coming in. She asked if we could go to the graduation reception the next day as cousins or friends because I needed a ride.

I would end up enjoying both and felt like Deb was more like a big sister. She was a close friend; someone I could confide with about things that I didn’t even ask Dawn about.

I found out Debbie did have a boyfriend. He would come with us to Mitch’s reception and he was a good-looking guy, but as she said a better company than a long-time love.

That morning Dad apologized for how he was acting and thanked me for being there for Mom. He tried to say more, but could only get a phrase out and then stopped and could not go on. I sensed he felt angry, a bit guilty, and hurt about a thing that happened or would happen. I wasn’t sure if I was thankful or angry that he tried.

I excused myself and helped mom with a shower to begin her day. Dr. Deb checked my Mom as well as watched how I cared for her. “Your Mom has made remarkable progress. I am sure that has to do with your care, along with your mother’s strong constitution. Mitch was over by 10:30 and I was ready to get out of the house.

Mitch’s mom, Dorothy was very warm and welcoming; Mitch’s dad was out playing a round of golf. The house was already very clean. We were doing a lot of the extras, getting coolers, and giant tubs, as well as tables and extra chairs ready. Part of the time I worked with Mrs. Klein; I enjoyed her talking about Mitch. She was quite happy that he and I were dating.

Mitch and I worked together a fair portion of the time. He had quite a sense of humor that I was getting to appreciate. He too was on the school’s baseball team. While he was not considered a star he was considered an important player and contributor. I guess, I unlike others equated his quietness, computer geek nature to his being discounted as an athlete. Half of his full-ride scholarship to college was for baseball. Monday, their team had one more game they needed to win to qualify for the state playoffs.

I missed playing sports this year, but my life was busy learning to be a girl.

Mitch’s Mom bought us sub-sandwiches for a late lunch and shared we were about done with their projects. I could tell by Mitch’s expression and Dorothy looking at other things it was not true. I saw her look repeatedly at the windows.

Windows are low on my welcomed list of chores, but I did have an idea to make them more enjoyable. I volunteered to do the downstairs windows as long as I could if Mitch was willing to clean the outside windows upstairs and down. Dorothy was relieved, and Mitch was willing though not presently happy. Dorothy would help me with our windows which cut our part in half. It was almost the bewitching hour of three when I needed to get home.

I had just finished my last window of the day and raced outside. Mitch had finished the upstairs windows and was working on the main floor. I came around to find the hose and first teased Mitch and then gave him a good squirt. With any luck, I would have my first wet shirt and bra experience. Mitch was too much a gentleman and wrestled away the hose, despite getting wetter.

I needed to go to plan B and grabbed his water bucket and began to charge him. He gave up being nice and hosed me down. I did succeed in getting him with the bucket of dirty water. Happily, I was soaked from my top up. I got to wear one of Mitch’s baseball jersey’s home. We exchanged kisses in the car. I raced into the house for my room but stumbled. Dad complained, “You must have gotten a bit indecent, besides wasting my time, you should be ashamed of being out like that.”

Mom told Dad to stop and be quiet. I began to tear, “How can you be so cruel, when I love you and Mom?” Mom wanted to help me to my room but it was I who needed to be caring for her. “Let me change and collect myself, then I will be out to help you and I'll prepare dinner.”

I was making fried chicken, potatoes, gravy, and a vegetable. Tonight I had Mom at my side and I was her little girl this time. Mommy was letting me cook and she gave directions as I carried them out. It was funny how much Nana and Mom differed in cooking, though they often used similar recipes. Mom measured everything and Nan used a pinch of this and poured in ingredients knowing what a cup was without measuring it. They both kept a close watch over their meals and taught me to cook having everything prepared within five minutes of the other dishes.

I wanted to change the meal as it was a favorite of Dad’s. I didn’t want to be pleasing to him. My oldest brother with his wife and daughter showed up unannounced and Dad quickly invited them to dinner. Frying more chicken, adding potatoes, and cooking more vegetables was not a hard fix.

I was steaming and my mother noticed. Was my wanting him to ask if we had enough food was unreasonable?

Mom told me she prepared many meals angry at me or another person in the family. It might take away her appetite, but she tried to make the meal just as good.

The dinner went well; but I didn’t need to worry, as dad wasn’t pleased, “It isn’t like what your Mom makes, not even close.”

Mom said, “Danica, you did good, it’s too bad Nana is not here to enjoy it.” I was disappointed others did not speak up, though everything was eaten. I had baked an apple pie before I started dinner. I wanted to save it for Sunday dinner, but they chose to have it tonight. I ate my piece in the kitchen and then went to sulk in my room.

I wanted to text Denise to update her on what was happening, but I was required to help Drew with the dishes. My niece came to visit while I was drying the dishes. She was disappointed I did not have girl toys from when I was younger. Drew laughed and shared he knew where a box of Michelle’s toys was. But they couldn’t come out today and have our niece ask about Michelle.

By the time I was back to text Denise or Dawn they were out for the night, and while they would respond, it was not an ongoing conversation. I helped Mom with a few things and then got into shampooing her hair and redoing her fingernails. My niece Jamie liked what I did and we soon had permission to do her nails. This included doing her toenails in two shades of pink. She and I wanted to do it a bit wilder, but they did look cute and better for Sunday.

Mrs. Pfister called around 9:00 pm. to see if we were going to church and if Danica could help by sitting with her and her children. Mom called me and had me talk to Mrs. Pfister. It would be her first time back at our church. It was a chance for me to go to church and see a lot of people I knew and allow my Dad to be reasonably comfortable that I was there as a niece sitting away from them with Mrs. Pfister.

It was already a very warm morning so I wore one of my sundresses and carried a wrap I could slip on if the AC was too cool. It was like a warm mini-reunion seeing the Pfisters. Jane, the eldest daughter said, “My daddy had come home for a visit and he would be living at home again soon. Mommy said you know daddy sometimes wears dresses but we should not be talking about that around other people.”

I asked Jane if she had seen her daddy dressed like a woman? She told me “Yes, but she looks better since mommy helped him. He’s to dress as himself when we go out and most of the time we are home.” We were no sooner seated and Jane and little Drake said they needed to go to the bathroom.

At two, Drake was wearing big boy underpants that needed help in pulling down. We hurried to the women’s restroom a distance away. I needed to take Drake into a stall and help him with his underpants and get him on the toilet. I was outside the door until he said he was ready. Luckily he only peed and I did not need to wipe his butt.

Jane was ready and waiting as I helped Drake to wash his hands and brush his hair. We were back just before worship began. It was just before the Gospel reading and Caroline began to act up and I grabbed the diaper bag and Caroline. I first tried to give her a bottle there, but it was obvious she would need to be changed as well.

After worship Mrs. Pfister visited with my parents (Aunt and Uncle), Dad expressed a deep appreciation for his niece helping her Aunt. I would have been really hot if I was not so close to tears. I was thankful I could walk away with Caroline in one arm and Drake holding my hand or wrapped around my legs.

We went out for dinner and I did not have to cook. When we got home I needed to attend to Mom’s needs, get her to rest. I got ready for Debbie to pick me up for Mitch’s graduation reception. Debbie’s Les was driving and I am sure he saw and knew me only as a girl. I had text Mitch that I was on my way. Zach was on the road to direct us to a parking spot saved especially for us.

Dorothy’s Sister Leah was quickly over and gave a snide compliment saying she was delightfully surprised such a cute girl was showing up. I returned the compliment with my own zinger. “Aunt Leah, it is an honor to meet you and you are as beautiful as Mitch said, I am surprised as I did not know you were twins.” In reality, Dorothy was just over two years older than Leah. I was pulled away by Debbie and she required me to apologize to Mrs. Klein and if she felt helpful to Aunt Leah.

I apologized to Mitch’s Mom and was encouraged to go my way and spend time with Mitch. I don’t think I ever had so many pictures taken of me. Mitch’s friends, guys, and gals were complimenting me, saying Mitch deserved someone pretty like me and I was a smart young lady.

Come 7:30 Mitch was ready to get away and visit receptions of fellow class members. I had Deb’s permission to be out until 9:00 and to call her to let her know where I was to be picked up. Mitch drew a lot of attention at other receptions and was enjoying his time in the limelight, finally recognized as someone special.

I called Deb and was picked up and told while I would get to say goodnight and check on my Mom, my stuff was already moved to the Millers where I would be sleeping tonight.

*******
To Be Continued…

I decided when I went to bed that I would take it a day at a time. Here I am a 10th-grade high school girl, but I have been living as a girl for just over a month. I have been to a prom; took care of my Mom recuperating from a stay in the hospital; dated my second guy; am now staying with the Millers. I share a room with Dawn who has become my best friend and is like a sister. Biologically. I am still a guy and that is what my Dad insists that I be.

Slipping into a nice pair of panties and a nice outfit as a girl is so much more enjoyable than the cotton underwear of Carl’s and the limited possibilities of what to wear. Yes, it was nice sharing Dawn’s room, a dream come true for the average boy, more than liking it as Jeff; Jessie was enjoying being with her on several levels.

Still biologically being a boy, sensual emotions tested my body and my gaff on more than one occasion. Interestingly enough, new feelings and sensations were being around Dawn or Denise were giving me. It would be good to talk to Dr. Deb to learn some subtle differences. I felt some of them were those of friends and how girls develop stronger relationships. But I was also wondering about the possibility that I might be becoming a lesbian.

Dawn and Aunt Susan welcomed me back and I was comforted when Aunt Susan asked me to relax and plan to be staying with them through the end of the school year or as long as needed. I would continue to stay in Dawn’s room, but most of my clothes would be in the guest room closet and chest of drawers.

Susan, Dawn, and I were pretty good at sorting out our clothes as they went through the laundry. I was on big learning curves learning about delicates, colors, hanging clothes as they came out of the dryer, and more. That was in addition to makeup, skincare, and taking care of my hair. Aunt Susan and Dr. Deb even had me keeping track of my last period and when the next was expected.

I was learning many things like in many ways the next day, I had a good day; It was okay to be angry about some things happening or that I had little control over other feelings. That exploring who I am did not come with immediate answers.

I did like the idea of having a rather normal girl week ahead of me. I got an outfit out for the morning and something to change into for the ball game. I thought a simple ponytail sticking out the back of a baseball cap would be cute and new for me.

Wednesday, Danica, I, would meet Stephanie Johnson and learn more about my past… Like who Jasmine was, how did Stephanie fit into my life and know my past, and for the first time in years I had warm feelings and was anxious to know about my big sister Michele.

One of my big questions was about Dawn and Danica, should we be Sisters or Best Friends, in spirit we hopefully would be both, whether or not we lived together.

If I did not stay with the Millers, who would I live with, I thought too many moves could be a problem. A lot of people liked the Danica they see and know, but I suspect wouldn’t they like her if they really knew me? How far away would I need to move to find someone who would want a person like me? Would I have a choice in what happened to me?

Mom had given me two lessons on her sewing machine and Ms. Harkin said I learned well and enough that if I sewed the liner she would sew it into the skirt. Come Wednesday I had that skirt and the liner was done. Mrs. Harkin would get them done before the end of the week.

Stephanie Johnson found me as I was going to lunch and said we were going to lunch and take the next period as well. I was excited but more than a little scared and asked if Dawn could go with me. Stephanie checked with the office and that worked out for the three of us.

I didn’t think about it obligating Ms. Johnson to pay for our lunches if we did not have money. Ironically students may be carrying more cash than the teachers. Such was the case for Dawn and I had enough to pay for our own lunches. She told us, "For this visit, you can call me, Steph."

“Way before Danica was wearing a prom dress, I knew a four-year-old boy they called Jasmine when he was in a girly mood. It was Jeff’s brother Ray’s date to the prom. I was over at their house changing into my prom dress that Mrs. G was to alter for me. I was in his sister’s room when this little bundle of energy came running in Michelle’s room and he hugged my legs as I was pulling up a half-slip.” Michelle apologized and made Jeff apologize. But he was now on the bed not realizing he shouldn’t be there.”

Michelle told him he shouldn’t be in there and he began to cry. Mrs. G. was going to check my gown and make an alteration that the gown store had missed. Michelle helped me put the gown on over my head and he just commented that I was a pretty princess. Michelle suggested that even for an alteration, it would be good for me to use some light makeup. That is when he asked if Jasmine could have some.

Jasmine went and stood up on his make-up chair. I put on some of my lipstick and eye shadow and Michelle put on a little make-up and a young girl’s necklace. The three of us went to Mrs. G and she pinned my gown and commented to Jasmine, "It looks like you’ve been a nuisance."

Dawn was giggling and asking why I hadn’t told her. She didn’t believe me when I told her I did not remember. My brother had a lot of girlfriends but I don’t remember any of them before I was eight or much about my adopted sister Michelle.

I saw the expression on Steph's face when I called Michelle my adopted sister and when I said I didn’t know much about her. “Ms. Johnson, was she as nice as she looked?”

“I asked you to call me Steph, and yes Michelle was as beautiful as a person as she was beautiful as a girl. And Danica is right Ray, was the “Fonz” before they made ‘Happy Days’.

“Who was Fonz,” Dawn asked?

“Don’t worry, but it might be cute to know that Jasmine was even a flower girl for my cousin’s wedding, two weeks after prom. Jasmine went to a wedding when she was seven, but something happened shortly after that. All I know is that no one knew or would speak about what happened to Jeff, nor what happened to Michelle after she got married.”

“When I saw Danica with Jeff at our Prom and the Mrs. G was supposedly her Aunt, I suspected that Danica just might be little Jeff, playing girl again. I told someone I knew Danica and asked how it happened she came to our prom. She told me it started with a Prom Dress; I knew it started before the Prom Dress.”

“So you are not surprised or turned off about me acting as Danica?”

“I was surprised, I hadn’t heard about you in years and nothing that indicated you were back as a girl. Was I turned off, not in the least? …Jasmine was so naturally a girl, and the girl at the prom was so naturally a young lady. I did not see any acting like a girl.”

I heard you were living at the Ford’s and also that you were living at home as a niece. I didn’t know which one was true, I called Michelle and she didn’t know either but she wanted me to say ‘Hello’ for her and tell you “she loves you very much.’” I got up and was going to run to the restroom to cry, but I didn’t get past Steph’s hug. She whispered, “Michelle wishes you could be in her arms.”

Time was up and we needed to head back to school and Ms. Johnson asked me if I would be alright. On the way back Steph asks, “What do you like most about being a girl?”

“Usually my first answer is looking like a girl, but I like the friends I have as a girl. Even crying is kind of nice when someone hugs you and allows you to cry and helps you to feel better.”

It was fun talking to Dawn, Denise, and Aunt Susan after school and that evening. Dawn heard I was going over Jeff’s Sunday to swim and possibly go out. She asked me, “Would you and Jeff be interested in a double date Friday night?”

“I thought I told you I was going out with Mitch and we are doubling with Denise and her date.”

“You are going out with two boys?”

“It seems that is what people want so I don’t take either one too seriously. I wanted to go out with you and a bunch of girls but…”

“Denise and I are planning to go to a movie Saturday night.”

“There’s a cute Junior Janelle, who has wanted to go out with me, what if I call her for Saturday?”

Dawn said, “I would need to talk with Denise before I say anything. You do know that Jan sees herself as a lesbian?”

I said, “I told her I didn’t think I was one, but I was supposed to date other people, so if she was open I would consider it.”

“I don’t know what my folks will have to say about that,” Dawn said.

I asked, “If they are letting you and Denise are going out, what do you think their objection would be?”

She said, “You have a point, but if my parents need to answer back to your parents it might make a difference.”

“What if I wore boy trunks over to Jeff’s or agreed I was a guy when I dated him?”

“Danica, I don’t want to argue. Honestly, if you were going to go out with a girl, I would like it to be me, but right now that is awkward for several reasons.”

“I am still interested in going out with Jan if she would ask me. I don’t know if it is Danica or Jeff, but I like to kiss a girl.”

We changed the subject and got talking about fashion. I was surprised as Dawn was talking about school clothes for the fall. She told me summer sales would begin shortly after July 4th and fall fashions would be showing up. Dawn took me on her favorite websites for clothing. Looking over her shoulder I found myself sniffing her hair and interested in what she said about me going out with her.

Dawn had a figure with her face; she was able to push different fashions over to it. It gave her an idea of different combinations for outfits that looked good on her. I was surprised that she had my face with three hairstyles and we again enjoyed working up outfits for me. Mom Ford checked on us and informed us it was time to get ready for bed. She asked me about my earlier call to my Mom and how she was doing.

I was fortunate to have someone like Aunt Susan/mom Ford being so supportive of me, especially my relationship with my Mom.

Dawn brought up the possibility of me going out with Janelle Saturday. Mom asked if that meant we might be double dating. “I imagine it might be a relief for Danica to be dating a girl. I do think dating three different people in one week could be a little much, but I am not saying no.”

“Can you two watch and take care of the girls tomorrow after school through to bedtime? Your Dad has a meeting in the city and we will stay for dinner and a show.”

I said yes right away, but I knew Dawn was already planning to see Zach after school. I asked what was I to expect Jaz and Cassie to do. Do they have chores, homework, change their clothes, etc.?

Aunt Susan said, "She would have some information written up for when I got home. The girls would be at the neighbors if they got home before me."

I got ready for bed and put on my pajamas and a robe to watch the news with Susan and Roberta.

They volunteered to tell me that if the meeting was over early enough they would go to dinner and the show as Susan and Roberta.

I had set out a plaid skirt, a short top that I knew Janelle liked on me, for the next morning. I can’t believe that I wait until I am tired to discover I still have make-up on and need to take care of my skin and brush my teeth. Carl would only need to jump into bed, but I have a minimum of 15 minutes in the bathroom, Dawn and I generally talk at least a half-hour. I had to text Denise, had two emails I needed to check and respond to. Luckily I was not big on texting Jeff and Mitch yet. Not only that but the morning starts earlier for a girl as well. Carl might not like it but Danica does get off on it.

Dawn was getting a ride from Zach, so I called over and got a ride with Jeff. He was not fully pleased as he knew Mitch was taking me out later, but it did give us a chance to talk about Sunday and confirm we would go to an early movie.

He would not have been so happy if he knew my text message was from Janelle. She had seen Dawn and knew which outfit I had on, so she asked if that meant yes for a date. I texted back saying, “Yes if Saturday night was okay.” It was cute as Jan was excited about dating me, but was trying to be discreet she passed by me at my locker or in homeroom at least three times. It was not until after the third class that she actually walked with me to my next class.

Jan knew from Jeff I was a boy wanting to be a girl. She knew Jeff desired I could not physically change if I wanted to dress like a girl. Janelle liked my wanting to be a girl and as long as I saw myself as a woman; the physical change was desired by her but not essential. She stopped and visited at lunch. She wanted a kiss but settled for a generic hug which Dawn and friends were more comfortable with.

She did cause me to get warm and damp. I wondered if Carl was excited by a girl or was it me as Danica. It made me think about who I am or was becoming. Carl asked fewer questions than Danica. I was pretty sure my moms and doctors would be happy that I realize this is going to take some time to figure out. What they might not be so happy about is I was still going on three dates in three days.

Dawn and I were two of a handful of students finishing up sewing projects. One by one as we finished we were allowed to go and change into our new creations. When I came out sporting my yellow skirt, Ms. Harkin took the liberty to show that I did my skirt with a lining. And she invited the others to come to look to see and feel the difference.

I was a bit embarrassed, I felt like a mannequin on display. Quite a few hands rubbed up against my legs as well as feeling the skirt and fabric. One girl jokingly said she wouldn’t mind getting into that skirt, and a few friends said, “Yes that would be fun.” She gave me a note on my way out inviting me to call her.

During the last class, I was called to the office as a reminder that I was to watch Carrie and Jasmine after school. I was given a note excusing me 15 minutes early so I could get to their school and walk to my sister's home. Cassie was the first to see me.

Now, this is something a normal sister does, I thought, as we walked home. Jasmine suggested we do something special like baking cookies.

I knew how to make chocolate cookies if we had the ingredients. So we changed our clothes and the girls helped me to find what we needed.

We made up a double batch, with me doing much of the work. The first batch baked up a little faster than I expected but gladly they were not too burnt. As were unloaded the second batch of baked cookies I gave the order that we couldn’t eat any until the kitchen was clean and back as it was.

Next, they wanted to read and I wanted a breather than to get out the ingredients for supper. So we compromised and polished fingernails; ) Cassie thought it was a very good decision. Jasmine had wanted to do her own, which she did until she liked Cassie’s better.

I did take a lesson from those helping to girlify me. After removing the first polish, I helped to get her nails into shape and then helped Jasmine do her easiest hand. She already knew how, but either wanted to use too much or brush too much. She was very pleased when the hand she did look as nice as the one I did.

I had them sit in the kitchen and be still long enough for the polish to dry hard. During that time I got out the ingredients for dinner. We then went for a walk to a park three blocks away.

Cassie wanted me to push her on the swing and the merry-go-round that was until a little boy showed up. Then she wanted to be as big and tough as he was. Jasmine wanted a swinging contest with me and she played to win. Having worn a skirt I decided to allow her to win that contest as well as jumping off the swing.

When we got back Dawn was now home, and as I started dinner, Jasmine shared what we did. When she asked who won the swinging contest, Jasmine humorously said, “She wore a skirt to a playground. Dah, who do you think won? Cassie came back from washing her hands and showing how pretty her nails still looked.

Dawn giggled, “I didn’t realize I was training you to be such a good big sister. You do need to learn to wear shorts more and to relax and have fun. With that, she tied an apron on herself and me as we worked together in getting supper ready.

Jasmine set the table and when Cassie asked to help, Dawn told her to put the napkins on and to make sure the salt, pepper, and catsup were on the table.

Mom and Dad Miller called to check in on us, and give us the phone number of the hotel and their room number. Cassie and Jaz both got to talk to their Ma.

While I wondered aloud who she was going to dinner with? Dawn shared, Mom, said, “Dad had gotten back early from work so I suspect that means she was able to go out with Roberta.”

Dawn told me when her sisters were out of the room, “My father has lost another ten pounds and it is a bit spooky how nicely Mom can make him look like a woman?”

“Does it spook you that I look like a woman, but I am really a man?”

“I see you as Danica and, strangely, you could be otherwise, but I have seen you. But even if you are naked, I still usually see Danica. The interesting part is I see a love that I didn’t really recognize if it was there before; maybe except for my mother.”
“Dawn, what do you mean?”

“I am beginning to know a love that it’s more of a relationship than possession, there’s a sexual component, but I don’t need sex to enjoy it, it includes friendship and love but it defies my defining it. I suspect what I am saying is a cop-out but…”

“I don’t think it is a cop-out at all, but since I have been learning it from you and your mom. I did think you knew what it is. You are right, your Mom both has it and brings it out in other people.” Unexpectedly, I think that included your father.

Once done in the kitchen, we turned our attention to Cassie and Jasmine, Dawn got them to take baths or showers and then a storm rolled in and Cassie was really scared and Jasmine was not happily sleeping with her in the room. I changed quickly, having cleaned off my make-up and took care of my skin. I pulled off my comforter and pillow and went to the girls’ room. Cassie was very pleased as she rushed and hugged me wiping her tears on my shoulder. Even Jasmine was happy I was there.

Dawn came to the door and she was changed into a robe. I went to the door and we talked. I suggested that she grab a comforter and pillow and that we camp out in the girls’ room. Dawn said “That would have to do, but I wanted some time just for us. Being there for a little sister can be fun. Ask Cassie if we can braid her hair, as I will be right back.”

Dawn asked Cassie if it would be okay to teach Danica how to braid her hair. Cassie was happy to be fussed over. Dawn first brushed and then combed out Cassie’s hair which was halfway down her shoulder blades. She grouped the hair and began to braid and then had me take over.

It was fun and Dawn helped me to keep the order of the braids, but even on the second try, it wandered here and there. It was better but no way near picture-perfect.

I undid the damage I had done and brushed out her hair one last time. Dawn made it look simple. Cassie was in my arms as Dawn turned her attention to Jasmine. She was brushing her hair and pinning in some curls, she spritzed Jasmine’s hair as she pinned it up for the night. Giving Jaz a big hug and kiss and setting her on a pillow and tucking her in next to her on the floor.

“Shush, look at Cassie, then set her down gently and give her a kiss goodnight.” I did as she said and it was like putting a little cherub down to sleep.

I lay down, fluttered my eyes at Dawn, “Big Sis is you going to give me a hug and goodnight kiss too?” Dawn looked to Jaz and the Cas and gently glided down to me.

I closed my eyes as I felt the warmth of her breath and then her lips gently come on mine. One hand was gently touching my side as I was engulfed in her presence. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it was warm, moist, and filled with passion; in my mind, it would last forever.

I knew I kissed back because I felt my tongue return and my parted lips become cool. “Thanks, Sis, I love you too.” She lay down and I scooted my head under her shoulder and down upon her. I don’t know when the power came back on, but I know Susan and Roberta were at the door to the girls’ room.

Dawn got up to greet them as I rolled over and snuggled with Cassie. Mom thought it was cute enough for a picture. A copy was sent to my computer. I was up early getting ready for school and having a cup of tea with Ma Miller. She showed me a picture of her two cast members from the show they saw and another woman whom it took a while for me to recognize. I do say Susan does an excellent job of helping Roberta to dress up and go out.

I was not sure if I was in awe of how Roberta looked or was just concreting my desire to be Danica. The next day went fast, but I spent over an hour journaling thought, events, and feeling from the previous day. I spent another hour looking through outfits and daydreaming of my dates coming up.

Friday, I had permission to miss school as my Dad wanted my help to take Mom to her regular appointment. I spent the morning helping her to clean up and get ready for her appointment. But as the morning ended and she needed to she wanted to brush my hair.

At first, I was sitting next to her in her bed, and sometimes I became her little girl who fell asleep next to her. A little after 1:00 p.m. she woke me and we were ready to leave by 1:45 for her appointment.

The doctors were happy to see her doing so well, and Mom said she had some good medicine today. They dropped me off at the Ford’s, and as much as I was looking forward to my date with Mitch it was hard to say good-bye to Mom.

It is something: what good therapy, a change of clothes, and make-up can be for a girl. As I got ready for my date my spirit rose with putting on my bra and sliding up my panty, changing my blouse three times, and my skirt twice. I checked out Dawn and she was preparing for Zach. I was working to be as lushes as she was. Neither Zach nor Mitch would suffer from neglect.

Mitch had played a tournament game at one and I was dancing with a winner going into the state semi-finals on Monday. He could have stayed out all night, but Dad and Mom extended my curfew only to midnight. Several others commented that I was being a good influence on Mitch saying he was a step or two quicker and his bat had more life.

I thought I was doing well to limit myself to pulling him closer to my body. I could feel he was as excited as me, but it was only his maleness that was showing to be hard. It took me a good fifteen minutes straightening up my make-up and hair. I told him when we get to the house he had to do with one kiss. He did, and it was really good and really long. Dad Miller said it must have lasted five minutes. I know Dawn and Zach were nice enough to go around the block one more time, slowly.

There was a message from Dr. Deb asking how Carl was doing? My response was he was lacking nourishment and attention, but I was doing fine.

My biggest quandary was how a gal coming off such a date could get excited about going out with another girl. All I needed was to think of her strong smile and being in a dark theater with her, it wasn’t very hard. But I would be lying if I said it didn’t concern me. I was just a healthy teenager who refused to think of it all at the moment.

I was changed and ready for my date with Janelle, and sat down and waited with Dawn as she was getting ready for her date with Denise. Dawn and Denise wanted to know which movie or theater we were going to, as they planned to go to another.

I called Jan and she suggested a change of plans and that was to go to Sportcraft and be more active in our date.

She shared there was a special event for children of military people overseas. She said they called her as one girl had her mom go overseas and there was a boy who saw himself as a girl, but very few were comfortable with him.

Janelle would be little Beth’s big sister and I would have the boy who called himself Jamie as a girl. Sportcraft had a pro shop that I took Jamie to get a golfing skirt, top, and visor. We used some light make-up and brushed her hair to make his evening more enjoyable.

Jamie asked if we, Jan and I, were more than friends because we held hands and the way we looked at each other. Jan said, “Yes, we are good friends but I have special feelings for Dani.”

Jamie asked, “Then why haven’t you two kissed each other? It doesn’t have to be gross but I’ve seen dates kiss each other on the cheek or a nice pat of affection.

“Well, some people don’t like girls showing affection to one another.”

“Well they didn’t care about their military’s kids, but you did. I guess if a gay soldier took a bullet for someone else they would second guess the motives. Beth and I both think you deserve to be happy.”

We looked at Beth, “Please don’t tell anyone but my Mom likes women too. I wish she and you felt free to smile and be happy more.”

“Thanks, Beth that is very sweet of you.”

“I don’t understand why I am to accept my Dad’s girlfriend, and she’s pretty selfish, but I am to be worried about my Mom’s influence on me.”

“The Chaplain says my Mom is good, and she believes in serving her country. I cried and asked him why God didn’t love her. He hugged me and said God did love my Mom; it’s just some people don’t believe God is any more loving than they are.”

“Beth, we believe in God like your Chaplain friend.”

“Can God help us win a stuffed bear?” There was a game that four of us played against six others and it took four games to get two medium stuffed animals and two happy children. Jamie was happy saying he looked girl enough to enjoy walking around with it.

The truth was I had two boys ask me if her parents let her date. I suggested before they asked they might see if she would go on a ride with either one.

I did remind them I would be watching and different from her parents I am here. One did get the nerve to ask Jamie to go on the Ferris wheel to which she said yes. With a big smile and a wink to me, he kissed the boy on the cheek to say thanks.

It was too soon and his mom and her aunt were there to pick them up. Jan took me on the rollercoaster and this time no little boy got sick on me, as when I was here with Jeff. We left there and met Denise and Dawn at the Tower of Pizza. Two bunches of guys thought it was a shame that we were alone on a Saturday night.

“How can you say the four of us are alone if we are together? I suspect you think you’re better than any of the other three with me...”

“Well, would you rather kiss one of them or one of us guys?”

“Even if your lips are as warm, moist, and luscious, I rather kiss someone I know I care for.”

“Well if we sat with you and visited for a while would that be enough?”

“Would you be willing to put on some lipstick?”

“I would possibly say yes but you would probably like to see a guy in a skirt?”

“Not unless you have the legs for it and they are shaved?”

Two of them took us up on it and sat down with us. I handed them a new tube of lipstick and they both went through with it. They ordered pizza and we had more to drink. We enjoyed watching them gulp down their drinks and get refills. They had almost finished their refills when the Pizza showed up.

We each took a piece but only nibbled. Denise and Jan went to the women’s room; Dawn and I stayed to keep track of our guy. Pete mentioned the need to do something. I brought up the idea of the kiss and what it might lead to.

I asked Pete how he was enjoying the pizza with the taste of berry lipstick. I pushed over the lipstick saying it needed to be renewed. Pete and his friend both reloaded to our delight. “Now if you need to use your napkin we suggest you pat your lips gently and not wiping hard.”

Denise and Jan were back and smiling as they noticed our two guys with their lips refreshed. We kept them talking until Pete was ready to burst. “Excuse me, I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Do you need to have an escort to the lady's room? If not we suggest you use the guys’ room together, then we can take care of things.” Pete’s friend went with him and they were back quickly, turning the smiling faces of others. They were smiling as they sat back down.

“So what do you think of girls just enjoying the night together?”

“We’re here enjoying the experience with you; so what do you think?”

“You joined in our experience and it looks like you enjoyed it and didn’t die.” I went over to the guys, kissed John on the cheek, and Pete a kiss on the lips. Dawn followed suit but just the opposite. Denise and Janelle stood up to the two guys and gave each a nice kiss on the lips.

We picked up our ticket and left a tip, Janelle had also left a phone number. People smiled and a few even clapped. As we pulled away John and Pete were seated again, laughing and shaking their heads.

Janelle asked me what I wanted to do; I suggested we go up to the Rock as I hadn’t had any time with her. We found a well-lit spot and I leaned over and kissed her. When she leaned over and kissed me and brought a hand over between my legs. We finished our warm tender kiss and she asked, “What do you think?”

“It feels really good to be with you, but I have gone as far as I am comfortable.” Janelle smiled, I was sure she too was very pleased. When we got back to the Ford’s she stopped and wasn’t sure what to do.

I spoke, “Aren’t you at least going to walk me to the door and kiss me? You are welcome in for a bit but I am due in, in ten minutes.”

Janelle asked me to hold there, until she got around, opened the door, and kissed me. I took hold of her hand and the door and began to pull her in, “I’m bringing in my date.”

Mom Ford came in carrying Cassie along with Robert. I introduced Janelle and Cassie said Janelle was just another girl. I hugged Jan and said she’s special. Jan said thanks, whispering, and kissing my ear.

I excused ourselves and we went down alone to the family room. We were on the loveseat for a short time. We kissed, and I place her hand back between my legs, “I like the feel but please no further.” She was pleased and as she shared successfully fought the urge to go farther.

She was gone and I was going to my room when mom called me to the kitchen. It had already been a long night with Cassie not feeling well and her two big girls out on dates. She told me Dawn was in our room with Denise.

I can’t say I wasn’t jealous but I didn’t worry about things when I was downstairs with Jan. I asked about Cassie. Ma said she was waiting for Aunt Myrt to call back. It wasn’t ten minutes before Myrt called back and it was decided to bring Cassie to the hospital. I went with mom and Dad and Dawn stayed with Jasmine.

Myrt checked Cassie and called Dr. Deb in for surgery. They took out Cassie’s appendix. Mom wanted to stay with Cassie, but she didn’t want us both to stay. I laughed and shared I did not have a driver’s license, so either she was going or we were both staying.

I could have talked about my night all evening if I wasn’t listening to someone else. But Ma had been worried since 8:00 and at 4:30 fell asleep after Cassie did again. All I needed to do was to stay there and assure Cassie we were with her if she got restless. Mom woke each time and she would check her daughter over and fall to sleep saying a prayer and thanking me.

Dr./Aunt Myrt was back in at 7:00 a.m. checking on Susan as well as Cassie. She asked me what I thought and I smiled, “I am impressed with what it takes to be a good mom. If you could guarantee I could be a mom the decision would be over.” Aunt Myrt came over and gave me a warm hug. “You are growing young lady; I agree with your Mom whatever you decide you are special.”

“She usually says whatever after she calls me a special young lady?” Dr. Myrt affirmed she knew that. Telling me it was hard to think about both possibilities when Danica is visibly there. There was another hug and she held me as I cried a little. “Thanks for Cassie, I love her and Jasmine, but she has a special place in my heart.”

“Susan said that was why she brought you; Dawn is a bit closer to Jaz.”

It was 8:00 a.m. when Dad, Dawn, and Jaz all arrived at the hospital. Mom was fully awake and Cassie was still groggy and falling back to sleep. Dr. Deb came and took Jaz, Dawn and I went to the cafeteria for breakfast. All of us except for Dad went home after breakfast. I would have fallen asleep in the car, but Dawn and I were talking about our dates and time with the guys. Lol.

Dawn pushed me in the shower, helped me dry off and take care of my skin, and got me to bed. She didn’t intend to sleep with me, but I guess I was a little possessive.

I wouldn’t fall or stay asleep until she too fell asleep. I guess she was up at noon but I slept until she woke me at 2:30.

“Do you want to call off your time with Jeff?” She even offered to call over for me. "If you are going swimming you will need to shave before you go.”

To a regular girl, by now that might be a chore, but to me a boy/girl it was a joy. It was like shaving away a sign of me being a boy and make-up was confirming I am a girl. I paused and reminded myself both were matters of appearance and I would always be something more, something deeper: Danica/Carl.

I put on a two-piece swimsuit and then my while jeans short shorts with a red no sleeve top buttoned part way and then tied in the front. Then I walked three houses over to Jeff’s house. I noticed I had a little more modesty as a girl, just walking down the street a few houses.

Jeff greeted me at the door but his mom was there soon to welcome me, or remind Jeff I wasn’t to be in his room with the door closed. “Remember she’s not Ryan or Derrick.” Indeed, I wasn’t Ryan was a big lineman and Derrick would be a fullback or linebacker at college this fall. They were both as big or bigger than Jeff.

I knew as a date they were as or more likely competition as far as Jeff’s interests went as Melanie who he was known to be dating. We had a good time, but for someone coming off a long night, I was hoping for more conversation and a relationship. I was pleased that he was interested and between his strong arms and oh-so-nice kisses there wasn’t much to complain about.

We went inside and he asked if it was okay that we were downstairs and not disturbed. His mother with a reminder to be respectful said yes. I enjoyed the close quarters and his passion, but again and again, he wanted more.

I had on my loose gaff and Jeff enjoyed being behind me and hold his arms around me and feeling me and getting me excited, but in the end, he wanted to be aroused himself and to get in me. Like with Jan, but more often I needed to say no only so far.

Going out for a bite to eat and to the movies was a lot better as Jeff knew he was with a boy, but his public image of being a regular guy was being cemented. Being Danica, I might be interested in guys, but it wasn’t going to be just fulfilling the guy’s image as I was feeling with Jeff.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not so pure, part of me wanted Jeff in me, or me showing him a good time for some of my own enjoyment. But I knew I wasn’t ready and that if Jeff had me I wanted more out of the friendship.

I was more interested in getting home to find out about Cassie and to talk with Dawn, though I knew she wasn’t completely happy with me. I too was awkward with her.

Cassie would be coming home tomorrow and I had to wait to talk to Dawn as she was in the shower. Mom Ford needed to take me aside and explain that Dawn was having her period. As such she wanted a bit more privacy about some things.

Dawn was neat enough to give me a warm hug and share things that weren’t so much about her period. “I am having trouble being your sister, best friend, and you dating and my affection for you.”

“I know Sis, I don’t know what is going through your head, but I know we need to talk. You and your family have been very gracious and special to me and this place has become like a home to me, but I don’t think it should be 24/7. It is especially hard on you and mom putting…”

“But where would you go; you can’t go back home on your Dad’s terms? It’s hard and you are way too special to me that you do something unacceptable. I don’t know, but whatever it takes you to need to be here?”

“What if whatever destroys our relationship?

You said we need to talk, something has us both tense. I know I was jealous that you were with Denise, even though I was with Jan. If I dated you and then stop what’s it going to be like in the same room?”

“I felt guilty for enjoying my time with Denise, but I was possessive about you especially with Jan. I was glad you two were downstairs, I’d been more upset if you were in my room.”

“That’s it, we are family, but we are not. When we got home from the hospital it was like you had a third little sister, who made you lay down with me until I fell asleep. You got over it and would have called Jeff for me, but I know you didn’t like how I treated you.”

“You used to worry about a little sister; you were a good big sister to her like you were a good daughter caring for your Mom. But you are not used to having a girl’s heart. Yes, I was annoyed with you because we are the same age, but in many ways, you are like a little girl, when I want my best friend who’s my age. It is like I found a lost puppy, but what can I do?”

“Can you put up with this puppy till school is out, then they can find a place or the humane society for me?” We hugged and we cried. We continued to talk and cry until Mom came in with Cassie. Cassie went to her sister Dawn and asked: “Are you two crying because of me?”

Mom asked why we had been crying but she wasn’t expecting a truthful answer while Cassie was there. Shortly after she took Cassie back out she came back and we talked. She like Dawn wasn’t saying there was no problem, but she wasn’t hearing anything about me leaving with no place to go.

After dinner, I emailed Dr. Deb and she and Dr. Myrt wanted to see me Friday morning at their office. Dr. Myrt had talked to Susan and I knew I would be getting a visit before I went to bed.

Wednesday came quickly and Dawn and I were having a difficult time with everyone saying “See you when school starts.” No one was really thinking about being back in school, just off on vacation. Zach did arrange a double date with them for Friday or Saturday night with his friend Rick. We were set to go to a driving range and then play a round of miniature golf.

Thursday, I called Peddlers’ Village to ask if they were still looking for teenage girls to work there for the summer. I thought I might have a temporary solution to my problems. It would have worked, but because of my age, I would need to share a two-bedroom apartment with three other girls, and be strictly ruled by a House Mom.

Thursday, I went to visit my Mom and when I shared how distraught I was over circumstances, Mom informed me that Dad had waited for such a time to force me to my senses. I ran from the house and called ma Miller to tell her I was walking home.

My 3:00 p.m. when she picked me up, I was a broken-hearted, basket case. I was determined I was not going back as Carl and dismayed that nothing was working out. Mom had sent Dawn to give me a ride and the support and room I needed. Dawn stopped at her mom’s beautician and insisted I go in with her.

Sharon, I have a best friend who has been feeling blue and I was wondering if you had time to give her a facial? Sharon came overlooked at me, “You are already a very pretty young lady and I do not claim a facial is a cure-all, but I think you will enjoy it.”

“Many girls don’t take care of their face and skin as well as Dawn, and I suspect you have been under her care only a few months. I think you will be surprised about the glow we can bring out.”

Sharon had me sit in a chair that she set all the way back. Dawn you time it just right as I will have time to give her a good facial massage and get the mask on before my next customer comes.

She lightly used a cream on my whole face and neck and I felt the tension give way to her touch.
She was applying the mask and putting pads or cucumber slices over my eyes I wasn’t quite sure what. She whispered, “You can go back to sleep if you promise to leave your face and neck alone.”

The eye coverings were removed and I was awaking as she began to peel off my mask. This part might hurt just a little as I set it to shape your eyebrows a little. I felt very little, but I guess she and Dawn noticed a nice change as I could tell they were pleased.

Sharon sat me up but had me turned away from the mirrors. “Would it be okay if I brushed and shaped your hair before I let you go?” I agreed and she set to her final task. She gave my lips a coat of lip gloss and turned me to the mirror.

I felt great and my face was glowing but apart from the lip-gloss I could tell what make-up she used and I asked. “Dawn told me you have been told by more than one cosmetician you don’t need much make-up and that you are naturally beautiful. This is what they were talking about. You have nothing on except the lip-gloss. A light make-up with sun protection is all that I think you need.”

“But there are plenty of girls more beautiful than I am such as Dawn.”

“You or others might judge some more beautiful, I don’t worry about measuring one woman against others. But you are beautiful and I think right now you are as beautiful as you can be with or without make-up.” Here is a little satchel of products to try. Have a nice day and I hope to see you back someday.” She indicated everything was taken care of. I checked my purse, pulled out fifteen dollars giving it to her asking her please to take it as my thanks. I was pleased that she did. I hugged Dawn as we walked out quietly.

I do not know if Dawn did it on her own or at her mom’s suggestion or with her help. I do know her mom was proud of her and happy for me. My mood and the mood of the house were light and cheerful at dinner and after.

I had read through some of Dawn’s magazine and visited on chat and the phone. I took an early shower, shampooing, and conditioning my hair. I had a nice summer nightgown, but it begged me to wear a robe.

I was up early though I had planned to sleep in, Susan was up and Dawn was soon to follow. Dawn sat on my lap part of the time, fortunately, unfortunately, we were both in sister mode. We were choosing to enjoy the morning. I had a 9:00 a.m. appointment and dress casually I like that I was still a pretty feminine girl.

I got to see Dr. Deb and a nurse for my preliminaries and then I visited with both doctors. I did not know it, but both moms had already visited with Dr. Myrt. I openly said, “While it is not what I want, I need to be out of the Miller’s home. It is going to hurt my relationship with my best friend and a family I love to stay there.

The closest group facility gear for working with me as a girl with an opening was in New Haven, Connecticut, the next closest was Michigan but Dr. Myrt was not recommending either.

I said, “What I need is for a family, a couple, or someone like Dr. Deb who can talk with me and be like a parent or big sister and listen like a friend. I am not trouble nor looking for it. I can cook and do my part and I would keep Dr. Stanz and you.

I would rather stay in this area; I have started to make friends and my life in Middlesex. I have shown I can do it.” Things weren’t coming easy and my tears were just below the surface.”

“Well we have looked and looked and apart from Dr. Deb, we don’t know any other big sister candidates. Unfortunately, Dr. Deb is one of your doctors, and as a doctor couldn’t have you like family and patient too.”

“No disrespect, because I know Dr. Deb has done much of the research and she has shared that with you, but if I had a choice she would adopt me as her big sister and I would commit to becoming a woman.

I know Dr. Myrt doesn’t see her sister, but she can do most things for her nieces. …I don’t expect you, Dr. Deb, to adopt me, you’re good, but I am sure I would be more trouble than a single woman would want and I am just not that important.”

Dr. Myrt spoke up, “I guess it is hard for you to know how much people love you. It is me who rightfully is making this to be a most difficult decision. Dr. Deb could only decide this once and if it flopped she would be leaving herself to a lot of risks even if we could get others needed to accept it.”

“Dr. Deb thinks you really are a girl that what appears to be latent development as a male is, in fact, your female body needing help to be strong enough to develop healthily. She has suggested you be given a large enough dose of female hormones to encourage your body to increase its normal production to a healthy level.”

“Ordinarily you are too young to receive such dosages to change your body from male to female, but if I accept her research and its conclusions, I only have a short window to help you go from an unhealthy female to support your body to heal and develop as a healthy female.”

“She has already made a decision to wear I need to take her off your case if you agree. Her decision would limit where she could go to meet her requirements as a surgeon as well as her being an OB/GYN practitioner. What I need to assess properly is if you want and have the discipline and maturity to follow through with your committing to her.”

“If you say yes, she will need to take off her cloak and put away her identity as a doctor where you are concerned. This would not be a temporary fix but a long term, lasting reality. She would technically adopt you as a guardian and sister. You would not be Danica Greene but soon Danica Walters. Do you think, more importantly, would you accept becoming her sister and she as your legal guardian?” …While I would like your response, I would require you to confirm your decision Monday and again Wednesday when it would become fully binding and irrevocable. The reality is that it would be more binding to Dr. Walters. If you change decisions about being female or part of Deb’s family the courts would favor your decisions and hold her accountable for lasting consequences to her.”

“You make my answer of yes to pray sound problematic, instead of wonderful as it sounds to me! How come you offer it if you think and make it sound so bad?”

“Danica, it is the only healthy solution I think we have, but as a physician for me not to be upfront about its difficulties and consequences would be seen medically and legally irresponsible. …If there is a young doctor who is capable to make this work I believe it is Deb. And if there is a fourteen-year-old person mature enough to handle all the changes you are going through and to do so with someone raising you as a teenage sister it is you.”

“Watching you be a caring daughter to your mother and a caring sister to Cassie has confirmed the reality of the special young lady we have seen develop these past two months.

I have talked to your two moms and I would like to call them to share what is being suggested and agreed to. It will require your mother and father’s agreement as well as that of the court.”

Dr. Myrt sent Deb out and told her to leave as my moms’ were invited back in. It was emotional for both of them; Mom spoke, “The doctor told us it wouldn’t get to this. The doctor and Carl’s Dad both said I should have locked the doors when he came to visit. That Carl was at a vulnerable time and he was ripe for in intervention.”

“Danica loves you and was there for you… Let’s stop that what I am recommending that you allow Dr. Walter’s to adopt her as a Sister and be her Guardian. It has become stressful for Danica to be with her best friend, as her sister and as a family fearing she’s going to be lost as well as wrestling with many identity issues…”

It appears that Carl’s latent male development may because he’s a female; testosterone medication has suppressed her development to a dangerous point.” Mom stopped things and agreed to Deborah Walters being my sister and mom and dad would become an aunt and uncle.

Deb was called back she took me for the day though I was to be back to the Miller’s for most of the weekend.

To Be Continued...

Thoughts and comments are appreciated.

Mom and Ma Miller gave me hugs and said goodbye as I was to go shopping with Dr. Deb. She was becoming my official Guardian and I was adopted as her little Sister. It was nice to be leaving with Deb and have things settle in. My heart was aching, not wanting to lose anyone.

One of the first things as we drove, Deb told me, “My name to you is ‘Debbie’.” She's very happy and while it's what I hoped for I didn’t expect it to happen this fast. I was very sad to say goodbye to my Mom.

We stopped at Maurice’s as Debbie said it's one of her favorites and we were there for shopping therapy. I hadn’t been to Maurice’s before but found them to have nice young women fashions. Sis signed me up to get a Maurice’s Card. It gave me a 15% discount on purchases today. I was surprised at how quickly my fashion look was changing. Debbie introduced me to her favorite saleswoman. Bonnie helped me find my look. Later she suggested I might want to change my hairstyle to have more curls or a wavier look.

I purchased two dresses, two skirts, designer jeans, and several tops. I was in vogue with a layered look to my wardrobe. Thankfully, I'm not a stamped copy of anyone else's taste. Debbie bought me two bracelets and Bonnie gave me a pinky ring as well as an extra camisole with nice lace and crocheted trim. Two stores away was a women’s lingerie shop, not as known as Victoria’s but it's a very nice shop and known well to professional women. The panties, bras, and hose all were exceptional in how they felt. Looking sexy falls short in expectation if it would be uncomfortable to wear. Valery’s Lingerie was exceptional both in how the clothes looked and felt.

I paid for things with my own money that I had saved or was given me through the courts. I know many think doctors are made of money, but my Sister was just finishing her Specialty Residency and had a good portion of her education yet to pay for. We both saw my situation as a joy, but it put more pressure on Debbie.

It was 5:10 p.m. when we showed up at Trinity’s Salon. It did not look to be anything special from the outside, but all three beauticians were 25-35 in age. Marsha took me to her area and asked if I would like to add some curls and body to my hair. This would be a permanent, Marsha's gifted at talking to customers and she did a lot in drawing me out and listening.

They all spoke well of Deb and were very inquisitive about Deb adopting me as a sister. Tricia came over and was doing my nails as I was under the dryer. The nails were drying as Marsha took me back to brush out my permanent. Debbie took pictures of me as I was watching Marsha. I could not help tearing up I was looking better and more like a regular girl.

Debbie and I went to dinner before my going back to the Miller’s. I took a new dress and a new outfit. Dawn was out on a date so it was much later before I got to see her.

I changed into some shorts and a casual top and watched TV with the family. Cassie was in my lap as I hugged her. Soon the TV was turned down; we began to talk about how it would be different not living there. I would be forever their fourth daughter and hopefully could stay there at times.

Ma Miller took me off alone to the nook off the kitchen. She thanked me for the change and tried to apologize for things not working there. “Maybe if, I had drawn the boundaries a bit stronger or came down a little harder?”

“Mom, you and Dawn helped me so much; you were my harbor amid the storm. Dawn was and is my sister and friend, but I was a teen boy as well as a girl… I wouldn’t have made it without you. But I needed to leave become more like a niece and cousin.”

Dawn came home early from her date as I and her family would be forever on my mind. Dawn hugged me and it was back to being her sister. She and Mom had me model my dress and outfit. Dawn said she liked the new look and said it was me. She asked me if we would still be going out with the girls Saturday night.

We decided to dress up and go out together for a nice dinner. Dawn and Sandy complained their guys will watch TV if there is one available. They'd be walking to the bar area to get scores or making fun of our topics. We chose a very nice seafood place near the shore.

I wasn’t a big seafood eater but decided I could handle the night. I hesitated to order, and Denise convinced me to try the Seafood Sampler. She gave me a taste of her shrimp appetizer. Had my tastes changed as I was becoming girly or had they matured? Whatever it was my good fortune as I got to enjoy dinner as well as the conversation.

Some guys tried to invite themselves and even offered to pay for our dinners, but we held our ground, for a while at least. Everyone like the change Debbie introduced me to, my skirts were styled, and gone was the straight hem across. I did a web search for Maurice’s online and the others liked much of what they saw.

Several times they had me stand as they spoke of other styles, and how girls the same size or height could differ in what was good for their appearance. They were showing me off to see how the boys around us reacted.

Without any warning to me, each began to share which two guys each of us found cute and interesting. While I was the last to answer, it was my choice they were waiting for. The two guys I liked were in the same group of five guys. Dawn took me by the hand and we walked over to them. "Danica here is interested in going to where we could dance, and there are two in the group she is fairly interested in dancing with. We're wondering if you guys know such a place and were interested in taking us?"

I was embarrassed, I could have choke Dawn on the spot. “That was cruel for you to set her up like that,” said one of the guys.

“I’m Pete,’ said another guy, “and I’m going steady, so that will rule me out of dancing unless Jaz is home from her job." Jeremy is the one who came to my aid, "Is it Danica?" He is one of three running unattached right now. "The truth be told, Pete, James, Travis, and Mike as well as myself all see you as hot. The Carousel is the only place for dancing nearby. “

“So why are you pushing on Danica as the bait to see if we want to go dancing?”

“We have boyfriends but would be willing to go to a dance. Danica has been dating two guys but one is going away to college and the other is on the way out. So we figured she was the most available as ‘live bait’ as you say.”

“I’m going to need to be on my way home by 11:00,” I confessed. The guys said, "Let’s get going."

Luckily, the Carousel lounge was a few miles closer to home, and the guys were willing to spring for the tickets and refreshments once we got in. Jeremy asked me what grade I was in as he did not want to disappoint me since he was only going to be a junior. I told him except for Sandy we were all would-be juniors.

Dawn called back home and we were given to 11:30 to be out since it was a weekend and school was out. Jeremy and Pete were the two impressing me, though Travis was, originally #2 on my list. Travis was a quarterback and a star basketball player, but I felt he and sports were his favorite topics. Pete had at least an inch on Jeremy and consensus had him as cuter. But I was leaning toward Jeremy and while he said he was shy, he asked me to take a walk with him.

I grabbed my purse and took out a tic-tac mint as we walked. I offered one to him and he said, “Yes, I probably need it since I haven’t been home since going to work.” I gave him two. He said, “I hope you aren’t misleading me; I’m nervous around girls and usually say or do something wrong.”

“You’re sensitive and open and while that might leave you vulnerable. I would say it’s not wrong, but who you are.” The walk wasn’t very long, so I paused before going back in. “I want you to know I enjoy being with you.”

“Does that mean if I am going to kiss you it should be now?” I didn’t say anything, nor did I move for the door. Soon Jeremy’s hand touched my back and drew me to him. I enjoyed his kiss.

“For a shy guy, you didn’t take too long and the only thing I have to say is…(kiss with a warm hug)” Sandy did me the favor of taking Pete for the last few dances. I gave Jeremy my phone number, saying I was over 30 miles away so it might be hard getting together.”

It was eleven o’clock when we started home; everyone enjoyed themselves. My three friends seemingly enjoyed watching me. “You girls are taking a lot of pride and amusement in me aren’t you?”

“You don’t know how often girls would like to make a guy better by making him into a girl.”

“Wouldn’t that defeat your purpose if you liked him?”

“That is why it is so nice when you’re dating others and more like a friend or sister. …It is like a gift or a make-believe story.” Sandy spoke up, “This is neater than playing ‘Barbie’.”

Denise, “I’ve grown up with you and it is like seeing Linus let go of his blanket, and instead of becoming a grown man he becomes a princess.” (Linus is a character in the long-running ‘Peanuts’ Cartoon series.) I am glad you are not ‘Charlie Brown’ but I am very happy to be your friend.”

Denise and I were sharing the back seat and after she spoke we gave each other a big hug and shared some tears. Dawn turned around and was wondering if we were making out. Finally, she came out and asked, but I wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of saying anything. Dawn looked to Denise for help; Denise smiled and said, “Danica, it might be helpful for you to check your makeup before you get home.”

Denise’s car was at the Millers so we all went our way to be home as close to the curfew as possible. Aunt Susan Miller was up and wanting to hear everything. Dawn and I were both texting away as we visited with her.

Ma Miller was happy that the evening went so well. She like her daughter is happy, not surprised that I am progressing along in developing as Danica. She thought it was cute how the other girls set me up. She laughed big time about Denise and me returning the favor of not telling Dawn something.

My progression to fully become a girl was likely to take a few years and what I should expect was largely unknown. Though Dr. Deb had suggested the possibility of a quicker and more natural progression even that was not likely to be known for a while.

We went to church and again I had mixed feelings as I was enjoying worshiping there but it was a distance from Deb’s. I didn’t know if faith and church would be of interest to Deb. I know she had a busy schedule and that my relatives out of school did not attend that much.

Deb had called over to go bike riding but backed off when Susan mentioned church. I was surprised when Dr. Deb showed up and went to church with us. The church had a new pastor that had arrived six months earlier and he shared about a Ramona Kolb who was to preach and be presented the following week to be called as a Co-Pastor.

Both the service today and the possibility of a second good minister who would be a woman were of interest to Deb. After church Deb asked what might be a good time to come by and pick up me and my stuff. “I don’t mean to be pushy but it would help me to get her a bit settled in before the work-week started. If you want her for a night or two in the coming weeks that's possible.

"You are her family like I would like to be, I think an amicable transition would be to everyone’s benefit. Dad Miller suggested we go to eat, talk things over, and go from there. Deb was still hoping to bike but she gave up her plans and went to eat with us.

She did ask if we had been on the Running/Bike Trail that began less than a mile from their house. Robert had asked about how hard it would be changing over from dress clothes to biking clothes. Deb confessed, “It seems harder when a woman first does it, but it’s not that hard once you get used to it.”

Cassie turned heads saying, “Dad does pretty good in changing over, but I haven’t seen her in bicycling clothes.” There was a moment before what Cassie said registered with Deb. She then looked at me, Robert, and Susan and just quietly took things in.

Dad asked Deb to have a drink and visit with him if she would, but when we realized their discussion would take a while, Ma took the rest of us home. I had changed out of my church clothes and began organizing what I could take in Deb’s car today. Jeff had stopped over and Dawn and I went back over to his house. I enjoy being around him, I like his kisses and arms but we are not looking at each other in the same way.

When I got back, Deb and Robert were back and warm friends. It was now time to get home with Deb. Susan, Robert, and Deb had loaded the car including my bike on the carrier with Deb’s. I napped an hour after we got home. Deb was organized, studying, and working over two different tables. I suspected that as a resident she had a lot of studies, but these were patients of hers and others in the clinic.

It was 11:30 p.m. when the phone rang and it was Dr. Myrt wanting Debbie to come to the hospital. I asked if I could go with her, and Deb said it was not a matter if I could or not. She just warned me it had a good chance of being a long night and with little for me to do. There was also very little chance of her having time for me. She said, “If you would be out of people’s way, I would like you to go."

I say, "Being alone in a strange apartment need not be frightening, but I probably won't sleep until you or your roommate are here anyway.”

Her roommate was engaged and not home most nights so I quickly dressed. I took a book and am in the car with her within three minutes. An eight-mile ride to the hospital was shorter than it should be. Dr. Myrt greeted us saying the specialist on call was not responding and the need was immediate. Dr. Myrt was informing Deb as they prepared for surgery. A surgical team was drawn together and it had two nurses usually use to assisting the surgeon. Deb chose to go with the younger assistant saying she wanted the more experienced nurse overseeing the whole surgery.

After the surgery had begun, the charge nurse asked if I wanted to see what my sister was doing. I was surprised as I thought it would be Deb assisting Dr. Myrt, but Varina explained that while Dr. Myrt headed up the clinic and was probably the best OB/GYN doctor in the area, and a crucial part of delivering babies and simpler surgeries. They were bringing on Dr. Walters as their head surgeon and the hospital’s #2 surgeon for women.

She told me about the complication of the case. A young woman of 22, hurt in an accident. The first concern was saying her life, and Dr. Myrt wanted to save the chance of the woman to keep her reproductive organs intact if at all possible. Within a half-hour the young woman was stable, and within the next forty minutes, her reproductive system was back intact but needing delicate work to increase the likelihood of it functioning with little to no hindrance. Deb asked the senior surgical nurse to work with Dr. Myrt to clean and stitch the head cuts.

The Senior Nurse was also a Physician’s Assistant and Dr. Myrt’s oversight could do more technical medical procedures. Dr. Deb had expected another specialist to be there by now and addressing the woman’s injured ankle. Without seeing the situation, the surgeon had already decided to wait and let an antibiotic to run its course and the expected swelling to go down.

Deb had asked the scan and extras be brought to OR and decided from them to proceed to clean and reattach certain ankle parts before wrapping up their part of the operation. They were done just around 3 a.m. Dr. Myrt informed the family as Dr. Deb was checking first on her patient. I was in the hall but at a distance, I could not hear what Debbie was saying, but I was moved by what she was doing. She hugged me as she was going to see the family, “I am proud of you Danica, you’re quite the young woman.”

It would be 4 a.m. before I would see her again. Again she was hugging me and thanking me. She said, "Dr. Myrt had gone home and had volunteered to take you home for me."

I said, “I didn’t know how special you were and that you are primarily a surgeon. You were terrific in their saving her life and doing all you did.”

“I don’t know who told you that, but I won’t know for a while if we save her life. There was nothing special about it; each woman deserves the best care we can give her. Some people want her to be thankful for however she comes out. A man has more empathy for another man. If that were you on the table, I would want nothing less for you, my sister, or my mother.”

“But you are gifted and talented and that is way more special, I am proud of you.”

“I felt your pride, and if I am right I felt your prayers. I suspect some of what I have is a gift or natural talent. I’ve studied hard, but between gifts I never earned and so much that happens that I don’t understand, I can’t be so proud of myself, as I'm in awe of how much happened.”

“My Mom worked hard to instill us with a desire and discipline to learn, and my parents did what they could in helping us three. I didn’t earn that. That young woman trusted me, I could feel it in the way she relaxed, I asked her to hang in there and then asked if I could take longer to work on her ankle. She didn’t panic, she said yes every step of the way. …I am going to check on her now and again in a half-hour, but if it takes until after 5:00 I want to make sure she is stable and out of the woods.”

I ask, “Then we can go get some breakfast!”

Deb giggles at me, “Breakfast, you’re not going to rush home and grab as much sleep as possible?”

“If things go well after a long night, there’s nothing better than a good breakfast, and even better would be to share it with someone special like you. I haven’t had that for a long time.”

My eyes watered as I hugged her, “Get going and see her through.” I went out to the waiting area and bumped into Heather’s family and friends; they comforted me saying I was in the right place. I'm sure they thought I was a family member of another patient.

“Oh, don’t mind me, it’s been a long night and I’m just happy.” It was then that I learned their person was Heather and the people were her parents, a sister, and a friend. And they learned I was Dr. Deb Walter’s sister.

They remarked that I was also pretty, but there were only a few similarities in our appearance. “I can only hope she rubs off on me. She adopted me as a younger sister. I knew she was a doctor, but it was only tonight I discovered she’s a surgeon and a very good one. She loves your daughter and wanted to do right by her.”

They shared about their daughter, her accident, and what they were first saying when she came into the hospital. “I didn’t even know your daughter’s name, but I prayed for her and my sister.”

Janice followed me as I left the waiting area, wanting to talk to me. The two of them had been to a nightspot, but they had only a glass of wine over three hours. “Her Mom dislikes me because I am a lesbian and afraid that I am going to change her daughter. I’m not sure if we’re special friends or how she sees me.”

I hugged her, “I don’t know what to say, I guess I am young and naive but I think love is hard to label. Someone might say Heather is special because she looks beautiful, but what if the accident had changed that. I think having a friend that comes and stays is enough for today. If she does love you, I can see possible reasons why. I think relationships are special to us as women. I feel bad when a woman becomes cold to be more like the world we live in.”

Deb came by and said she needed to take Janice away for a moment. It would be good news all around Heather was well enough that they could visit for a few minutes and that she was taking me home. We went out to breakfast and I was surprised by how much she ordered. For me, it was the time, not the special meal.

“Debbie, I don’t know what to say, I think you are so special and I am proud to be your little sister. I am frustrated; you are like a Teflon person when it comes to praise. Except for those working around the edges you were the youngest there… I didn’t even know surgery was your main job. …Dr. Myrt says you’re better than her, you are their surgeon.”

She says, “It sounds like you could be a one-person fan club. What happened was Dr. Myrt was on duty for ER and Intensive Care; ER was already busy so she evaluated Heather and called the surgeon who should have come, but did not respond. Instead of going down a list, she called me because I was able to do the surgery. It is part of my work and what I like to do, no big thing.”

“There you go and discount me again, Heather’s folks thought it was big, the charge nurse who was up with me in the viewing arena and several others thought it was a big thing. You say it’s nice to have me here.”

I say, “How come you know so much about my possibilities and you didn’t even tell me what you can do surgically for me?”

“But that’s it Danica, if I look at surgery as a quick fix, I might overlook the best way for you or another patient to be helped. You could look girly, but what if you found out later you spent more and got less."

I readied myself for bed, taking make-up off, skin moisturized and hair took care of and as my head hit the pillow I was asleep. I did know Debbie kissed me on the cheek and said, “Thanks Sis, I love you.”

Deb showered to freshen herself up and was back to the hospital for her first of two surgeries beginning by 10:00 a.m.

I was up answering a phone call from Dawn asking me if I was going to the school’s State Tournament Baseball Game. I was tired and it hadn’t been my school, though it would be in the fall. Zach, Jeff, and Mitch all would be playing.

I went but Dawn and Sandy thought I was exaggerating about Deb. But someone at the game knew of the accident and by noon the news was touting the woman’s well-being as a minor miracle.

Our game was locked at 3-3 in the last inning with the other team threatening to score and their best batter up with one out. The batter hit a line drive down toward Mitch. Mitch had to dive to catch it. Mitch caught the ball and quickly doubled off the base runner for a double play.

Mitch is better than the average player, but he's even better when things get tense. He hit a good double and would have stayed there but he ran to third on a weak throw to second base. They won the game when Mitch was able to score.

Mitch picked me up and twirled me around, “I never had a girl there for me before, it feels good and you look so good!”

“Yes, I am the prettiest girl you have presently,” I said with a big smile.

Mitch slides me down till our lips even then gave me a nice kiss. I am glad he thought of holding my skirt from sliding up, but Dawn said, “It was special enough for a picture.”

“Someone sent it over the internet as “the SWEET TASTE of Victory’.”

We didn’t stay around as Sandy joked, “You look tired and worn out. I’m glad he’s smart enough to say you are pretty and that they took the pictures of you. Let’s get you home and rested, in case the next time it's a close-up.”

Dawn held her phone camera as she showed how high the skirt rose in the front. I was half embarrassed, otherwise, I enjoyed it. Dawn asked me if I excited him and I just chose not to answer. Third basemen usually wear bikes so it’s hard to tell.

We were on the way back when Dawn called my home and told, “Dr. Deb, it is Dawn and we’re on the way home and were wondering if we got some pizza or Chinese could we eat there?”

“One, call me Debbie when I am away from work, secondly, where would you go for Chinese?” Debbie already knew they didn’t know her area... "Then tell me what you like and when you would be here," Sis ordered it and she was on the way back from picking it up when we arrive home.

We didn’t hear Debbie coming in and we were sitting around. “So Danica how long have you been sitting around like that?” Dawn and Sandy looked and knew what Debbie was talking about.

The past two weeks responded Dawn, especially when she’s been wearing sandals. “Why,” I asked?

“Your sister is making fun of you becoming a regular girl and sitting on your feet.”

“I’m not making fun, I just hadn’t seen it. Now, help open up the containers and let us eat.”

“Thanks, Mrs. W… oops, sorry, Debbie. …Oddly, we can’t adopt you as a mom.”

Deb says, “Change it before Dawn is on my bad side; anything interesting happen at the game?”

Sandy spoke up, “Dawn has some pictures of Danica and Mitch that are cute.” Dawn and Debbie sat together and went through the pictures. Danica cringed at some but was told to relax.

“I would like a copy of that one to put away for her graduation or a needed bribe.” Debbie sent it over to Dawn's email so they could see it on a larger screen. The computer screen showed what Debbie quickly saw. The pink of my panty was showing as well as my tongue as we kissed. Luckily that was not all caught by the picture that made the next day’s sports section.

The picture did make the rounds on the internet and YouTube, and the next Monday made it to Leno’s Headlines. “Now that could make me interested in baseball. Someone said, this guy is known for a good glove, but all we can tell is he has good hands and good taste in girls.”

Deb ended up sitting next to Danica as they ate. “So Dani when did you start choosing to eat fish?”

“I don’t know the other night I tried a seafood sampler because I wasn’t hungry but I thought I should try something new. Would it be normal for my tastes to change as a girl? …The nice thing I get full easier but then with Chinese, I can go to the frig and nibble later or use it for another meal.”

“Dani told us about your surgery last night. Then we heard from others at the game, but some didn’t believe it could be Danica’s older sister that the surgeon had to be older and more experienced. Someone set the critic straight. We were glad because Danica was getting upset.”

When Danica wasn’t saying anything, we noticed she had gone to sleep in Debbie’s arm. Several pictures were taken and then Dawn and Sandy picked things up and let Debbie enjoy her sleepy sister.

This morning Danica slept in Debbie’s bed, Deb would sleep in the roommate’s room, or the couch, or on the floor in Debbie’s room. They hadn’t talked about it. Deb helped her get undressed and sent her to shower.

Debbie also was turning in early and was down to her panties and robe taking off her make-up. Danica shampooed and conditioned her hair and soon had a towel around her hair, another around her body as she traded places with Deb at the sink to care for her skin. She did watch her sister getting into the shower, but it was as a younger developing girl looking up to her well developed big sister.

Debbie told me I was not sleeping in Robin’s room or on the couch, “We can go out and look tomorrow, but tonight I will just scoot over. We have a queen-size bed, so hopefully, you don’t mind.”

I read a little waiting for Debbie to be ready for bed. I had on teddy bear pajamas and Debbie a short nightshirt and we agreed to use one sheet. Debbie asked me if I ever prayed, then asked me to say a prayer.

“Thanks, God for hearing my prayers and for giving me a new home. I thank you for my sister. I now know she’s gifted by you to be a wonderful doctor. Gifted as she is, may your blessing be upon her to be an instrument of your healing. Being my sister is not big in the scheme of things but that is why she is special to me. We pray for the blessing of friends, the well-being of Heather and I know there is so much more, but I am tired. Thanks for being gracious and to be here. Amen.”

It wasn’t long and I smelled the scent of Debbie in bed. Debbie, you smell so nice, do you think there is a powder or spray that has a light scent that might be good for me. Debbie reached for her night table and gave me a light spray of her mist spray.

I woke up as we slept and we were closely side by side. It was 4.30 and Debbie didn’t need to be up for 30 more minutes. “Come here please,” she said to me. She was lying awake on her back and I laid my head on her shoulder.

I didn’t get up with her, but, I was up before she left. She was hoping to be off early so we could go looking for what we needed. She called just before office visits started saying I needed to see Mitch’s picture in the sports section of the paper. She did not warn me that I was in it.

She did have other information to share. Dr. Myrt was renting her house down the shore just a block off the beach. Debbie suggested I call to see if Dawn and/or Denise or Sandy would want to go. She was signing me up for a contest as well. She hung up before she could hear my questions.

Since I was up by eight on a summer weekday, I texted both Dawn and Denise and after a half-hour called each to find out why they were ignoring me. Denise said, "Well forget what she said, it had to do with not getting up before 11. if she wasn’t working. Dawn had three calls about our picture in the paper. She said, “No, your tongue is not showing."

Someone somewhere was suggesting it could bring back pin-up pictures. I asked both of them about going to the seashore and the dates. Each thought it was a good idea but they needed to find out what they were doing for vacation.

Surfing the web, knowing our beach area Dawn surmised I might be signing up for the Miss Ocean County Teen Queen. I text Debbie and said that better not be it. Debbie’s reply was “It made sense for someone who started with a prom dress.”

I text, “lol”.

She would pick me up a little after 3:00 as we had three stops before 5:30, "Dress nice but casual."

Debbie was home by 3 p.m. and we drove to two apartment complexes. Debbie said, "Robin’s wedding would be in late August, so it might be a good time to consider moving. If Middlesex was a good experience plus there are friends; we should consider it." The apartments were nice but nothing special and the complexes were not in the best shape. We found one nice set of apartments, but the people were not excited about renting to a sister who was a guardian for another sister.

The last was a nice bungalow style house that was for rent and eventual sale. The woman selling it was recently widowed eight months before. She was moving to an independent living complex. The rent was workable, but the house could be sold out from under us.

Debbie contacted banks but at least $100,000 was being requested as a down payment because of our circumstances, and to get it to a mortgage payment we could afford. Both Deb’s parents and Dr. Myrt thought it would be an unwise and risky move at this point. I disobeyed a court order and contacted my natural parents. I asked they consider $25,000 as my investment portion.

I was surprised they accepted my call and did not immediately turn down my request other than to say $25,000 was not workable. Dad would want to see the house before he and Mom considered what they might do. Dad did remark both Dr. Walters and her sister had both made an impression in the papers.

I thought he meant about my picture with Mitch and I did not see that to my advantage. When he came to the house we were looking at, he had the article and complimented where I was quoted about speaking up for my sister’s surgical abilities that spoke to her ability and experience in light of her youth.

Dad complimented the woman selling the house stating it was in very good shape. He stated he had worked for her husband and knew their name to be of a good reputation. He told the woman that he was my uncle and did have some responsibility for me, but he needed Dr. Walters to adopt me and become my guardian.

He looked to Deb and assured her he could give $15,000 as my portion of the investment into the house, and would try to secure up to $20,000 if possible. When Deb said her maximum was $75,000 leaving no cushion. He stated she should use no more than $40-50,000, as a safety cushion was a necessity, not an option. He requested her parents’ phone number and gave a call. Grandma Rose was visiting and they would give $40,000 toward the down payment and five thousand toward furnishings.

The Widow suggested we contact the realtor from her house and offer 5 no, $7,000 less for the purchase price. Dad said while we could offer $15-30,000 less, it would be beneficial not to devalue the home. The Walters had requested with their gift that my dad update the electric circuits of the home. It would require a whole new updated service to be done on the house a minimum value close to $2,000.

Dad shared that Mom already agreed, and everything was targeting an August 1, closing date, which made August 15, quite realistic. The realtor received our call, the price was agreed and binding agreements would be in writing and signed come Saturday.

My trip to the Mall became a problem because of the newspaper picture.

We left and went back to Maurice’s and Debbie spoke to them about me being in a Miss Teen Pageant. Deb’s saleswoman showed us what she had, but also suggested we come back the following Wednesday and they would have a specialist with a complete contingent of what we would need for such a venture with their sponsorship.

I was threatening to pull the plug on the contest when Debbie suggested I call Denise or Dawn before making a decision. I was dead serious, I wasn’t going to look like a fool; trying to pass as a girl worthy of the pageant with no talent. Dawn said, "You should sing and enjoy yourself and get to be that girl in beautiful dresses again. Sing with recorded music, you would challenge the contest to get contemporary to be of interest to today’s youth. There would be no way you had to worry about winning.

I had a crazy idea, it was to get into Sis’s files and research illness and health areas questioned in the file. Debbie’s computer indicated some of her most-used research sources. I spent from 9-11:30 doing the research when I got called that we were to be leaving a half-hour earlier. I did not mean to show off what I did but I left the file and my notes out to be easily seen.

The Blue Jays were behind early in the game first 0-5 and going into the fifth inning were still behind two runs to five. Mitch was the second batter and hit a double that he stretched into a triple again. They did tie the game, but they didn’t win it. I can say I wasn’t very disappointed as photographers were getting ready for another photo-opt.

Jeremy, however, did find me and shared, “It’s a nice photo for a guy going away to college.” We did wish him luck on our way out.

When we called Sis about eating on our way back or at home, Debbie asked if I told others about my little project; then she told me to don’t but to get home. The tone of her voice sent an anxious panic through me. I asked Sandy and Dawn just to take me home, but they were upset I wouldn’t share what concerned me. They took me up to the apartment and Debbie was cordially warm over their short stay and I relaxed a bit.

“Did I not tell you that I cannot share about my clients and how important confidentiality is? (I nodded) Why, then did you get into my files and end up leaving them out on the table?”

“I wasn’t seeking to know who they are, but to help with some of your research and I wouldn’t have let Sandy, Dawn, or anyone see them. …I did tell Dawn and Sandy about seeking to buy a house in Middlesex. “

“I could lose my job, Dani. It’s not that I don’t trust you, but I don’t want you looking at my patients like they are a condition or that you know information about them. Do you know it’s against the law for me to share information with you about my patients and things in our clinic and at the hospital? I’m concerned about us…” Deb stopped and just stared at me and I was shaking and ready to cry.

“Danica, you’re shaking and ready to cry.” She hugged me and said, “I’m worried that…" I just broke down sobbing and I tried to push you away.”

“You’re worried that this isn’t going to work out and that I am a mistake,” I said, “aren’t you?”

But Debbie wouldn’t let go of me but pulled me into a hug. “O Sport, you’re worried that whenever you make a mistake or I say something that I’m not going to love you?”

She sat me down and just looked at me, I couldn’t tell her how scared I was, but I saw that she saw. She wasn’t mad nor leaving me. “I, I didn’t mean to hurt or disobey you,” I said stuttering and sobbing. “I love, love you and me, I will do what I, I can to be a good girl.”

Debbie giggles as she calmly said, “You are precious. You are my sister in my heart, not just on paper. I am sad you are scared. You need to talk to Sara your counselor about this, but together it’s going to take time and assurance that I will be here for you.”

“I won’t mince words, there are some things you can’t do, and things I will not tell you about. You may be tempted to think it’s something between us, but I am staying in your life and I won’t push you away or leave you.”

“You know, you did some good research and I would be happy to have your help, but you don't know and aren’t to guess who the patient is. …I don’t expect you to be a good little girl. You are quickly becoming a young woman in my eyes and you need to know I am there for you as your sister.”

“Sis, not to just change the subject, but my nipples and breasts are bothering me.” She had me undress to my panties and had me stand and then lie on her bed. She touched my nipples and smirked, and then it was the puffiness of my breast.

She got a solution to take off my vagina gaff and examined me there. “This is as your Sister, not your doctor, but you appear to become a young woman. I would suggest that you not be ashamed to explore yourself.” Touching different areas, watching me respond to some, she told me my body would be changing and I would likely experience new sensations in different areas and different ways.”

“You can talk to me or Denise or Dawn, I am sure they would be more than happy to show you how to explore yourself. Sometimes girlfriends even help one another.”

“I forgot to tell you my good news. The Hospital here and the Clinic want to offer me contracts as a regular surgeon and doctor if I am open to staying here.”

I ask, “Were you planning on moving away? Where were you hoping to go?”

“I wanted to go to NYC or Philadelphia, I already had interest from Columbia Presbyterian, NYC, and Thomas Jefferson, western Philadelphia, I have an interview with John Hopkins and a private practice linked there. …I would make more money and benefits there, but most want to pay me less because I have been here.”

“So are we going to go somewhere else or stay here?”

“We are most likely going to stay here, but I want more than is being offered and I want to know before I sign for the house. My parents don’t know about Thomas Jefferson for now. I could commute to NYC but I wouldn’t be much of a sister if I did.”

“Would you feel like you missed showing them how good you are if you don’t go to one of the big hospitals? My Mom has been sick a lot and tries to go to Columbia Presbyterian if she can. That is an enormous hospital and important people have gone there.”

“I could move if it is important to you.”

Deb, “I think I have found with Dr. Myrt and you much of what I am looking for. I think being here I have more time to be me. …Danica, now I ask you, I gave you a push to the teen pageant, but I am not going to force you into it. Did you ever see a pageant and want to be one of the girls in it?”

“Maybe?”

“And you didn’t say anything when Maurice's arranged to have a contest consultant to come out. I do want to know if you are willing and wanting to do it.”

“I am willing because you said you were signing me up for the miss teen contest.” I paused and we were both quiet. I knew Debbie wanted me to say yes, for myself. She was right I already dreamed and thought about it, and was looking forward to doing it. But I wanted to be able to say “Debbie made me do it.”

“Yes, Sis, I do want to try it, but I need a job. Being a girl takes a lot plus I want to be able to do things. It's one thing to be your little Sis, but I don’t want to be treated like a little girl.”

“Your parents give money both to help with expenses and some spending money…”

“But if I was there I would be working for part of my spending money and saving part for college? That is the way I have been brought up. It sounds like you were too.”

Dawn, Sandy, Denise, and I talked about the Miss Teen Contest and then called the Director of the Miss Jersey Shores Teen Pageant. Ma Miller knew and the Director confirmed that more contestants from more counties elevated the importance and prestige of the Pageant. Final applications were due Monday, but if we could get two entrants in addition to mine they would wave half of our $75 entrance fee.

Dawn said she was willing, while Denise and Sandy were both going to be away. But Denise text a classmate from our school who liked doing things like this and quickly got a yes. She would use it in preparation for their community’s contest come Labor Day Weekend. I called Sis and she was sure her sister and mother knew possible teens from Mercer County. Dawn called friends from Somerville and Manville in Somerset County and by Friday morning we had six people from five counties registering for the contest. It would be two contestants more than Atlantic City’s which was over July 4th. And it would be four contestants more than Asbury Park usually had on a good year.

Come Saturday morning Debbie and I went bicycling at 6, we used a bicycling path that I did not know of though. We went through two parks, up close to Washington Rock and back in another direction. It would have been at least a 20-mile circuit, but it went so fast and I am not up to it. Debbie said “It was just less than thirty miles and between your exercising and eating properly you shouldn’t be surprised. If you would exercise seriously and do some aerobics you would be in better shape and have a more feminine body.”

I thought if I exercised too much I would look more boy-like. "No, the right weight training would help the right areas. You need to read more on women’s health in magazines and websites."

Sandra, Denise’s friend Sandy would organize her stuff on her own. Dawn and I would meet with the consultant from Maurice’s on Monday. They had two full-length gowns that we chose and spoke of alterations to make them pageant ready. We chose two short dresses for talent performance and a third long gown as a back-up.

We went over regular cosmetics and fine jewelry and the proper use of each. When the consultant heard what I was doing for the talent competition; she had another idea for me as well.

She told me we would use basic make-up so I could be out in the community when I wasn’t required to be at a Pageant required function. She wanted me and Dawn to be well-rested, to behave, and to get out to the beaches and communities. I want you to help others consider coming and feeling good about the event is here. Not self-promoting, I want you to come across as a warm person that they can relate to. Judges will directly or indirectly hear about you.

It was a long day but I liked what Dawn and I accomplished. It was nice to be friends and share the time. I liked seeing Dawn as a friend and sister, she is hot to look at, I thought she would be a great princess.

The night was long as Debbie was called out, but she wanted some research done before the morning work began. I stayed home and worked on the research and we both got to bed shortly after 3:00 am. She was up at 6:30 and I was up for her by 7. We have about 11 days before vacation and 18 before the pageant. Dr. Myrt said I could stay at the beach with her if Dawn or I won and needed to stay. Not very likely for me though I would stay to help Dawn.

Before vacation, I had my regular appointment with Dr. Myrt. Nurse Beth called me back to an exam room, took my vitals, and then said this will be different as she told me to put on the exam clothes. A younger new intern Barb knocked to make sure I had changed and was ready. “I am sorry it can’t be your Sister, but I am happy to be here and to get to know you.” Some of the touches will be sensitive so please let me know if we need to slow down or stop.

Barb was right, it was more than I expected. My sensitivity was growing, and I was worried about my boyhood response. “Dr. Deb told me to expect that, but do not worry it does not mean your body development is going the wrong way. You are steadily developing as a young woman. If you do not mind Dr. Myrt asked me to see if I could take you to an orgasm. It may seem strange but should be quite enjoyable if it happens.

I was being aroused as Danica but my boy parts were responding faster and my climax was coming. Barb had me covered with a damp cloth but took it away. Then cleaned me up and between my legs and she had no trouble taking me to an orgasm. The joy was more intense for being a female.

“Deb and others thought it was time for you to know the power and depth of your womanhood,” she stated.

Dr. Myrt came in checked my chart, visited as she checked me. The growth of your chest area will be enhancing your pageant outfits. My advice is to enjoy the beach and the pageant, but don’t get too concerned about the outcome. I am not sure if your real beauty and charm will be felt by a larger crowd.

“Aunt Myrt, I am not worried about winning, I just want to be received as a girl, is that a realistic hope?” Before she responded she asked Barb her opinion. “Apart from an exam, I would see you like the hot teen girl down the block.”

Sunday we were packed but went to church where we would meet Dawn and pick up her stuff. It happened to be a service Pastor Ramona was preaching with the voting to accept her being called. I thought the service went well, but I could sense some people’s attitudes toward a woman pastor. Mrs. Miller asked Debbie to stay for the meeting, despite not being a member.

I went into the hall and visited with a younger girl who was upset with tears. I asked what the matter was and she said her mom had left that week. She felt bad that she had done something wrong to cause it to happen. We were visiting and she was still sad but a little calmer, when Pastor Ramona stopped and checked on us.

I was impressed but worried she was to be in a meeting. “Pastor Ramona, I am impressed that you stopped and care about Mona, but aren’t the people in there a bit more important?”

Without hesitation, she said “no”. The voice of a man agreed but did indicate when she was ready she was needed. Mona’s dad and brother had come out to find her with the pastor and thanked her.

During the meeting, Deb was asked her opinion as someone visiting the church about Pastor Ramona. “It would not be the only reason I would strongly consider joining this church, but it would enhance our consideration.”

A woman got up and challenged Deb’s statement, “But do you think a woman can minister to a whole congregation; don’t you as a Dr. specialize in serving just other women for that reason?”

“That's a fair question but the wrong conclusion. Yes, I specialize in women’s medicine and do not discount that, but not only do I think this Pastor can minister to the congregation. I find myself ministering to dads, fathers, brothers, and sons often. Many professional women like moms find themselves relating to the larger gambit of their world and do so successfully.” Sis wasn’t expecting it, but she was applauded for her statement.

I was glad when the church service was over and the vehicle was packed and Denise, Dawn, Debbie, and I were on our way to the ocean for a good nine days of vacation…

To be continued…

Miss Jersey Shore Teen Queen!!! …The excitement of being dressed to kill and in the lights; …but what did or didn’t happen at the nightspot…

Please take the time to leave a comment or write directly to me the author, Jessie C. My thanks to two friends who helped to edit this chapter. All mistakes belong to me.

There would be three contests along the Jersey Shore to crown a Miss Jersey Shore (Beach) Teen Princess. There were other contests for college women. Many Miss Teen contestants would resurface in 3-4 years, refined, groomed, and competing for various Miss New Jersey contests. It was a hoot to be among such young women, competing with them.

Some in our group were beautiful as can be, I thought myself incapable of competing with them for the crown. I needed to go outside the norm to even compete, instead of more classic piano-accompanied solos, I'd be using remastered prerecorded music to which I would sing.

Contestants were asked to help to promote publicly the contest. Experienced contestants limited their efforts to media-related appearances; my coach encouraged us to work the boardwalk, beaches, and community gatherings and create enough attention to draw media coverage.

Sis and Dr. Deb had us in our bungalow by 3:00 pm. Sunday and we had things unloaded and were changed for the beach by 4:30 p.m. We bought season passes to the beaches and as three teen girls, plus Sis, we made a nice entrance to any beach. There happened to be three groups with guys of various ages around us. I watch Dawn and followed suit as we undid our shorts and shimmed out of them and then slowly pulled off our tops. You could almost tell who was watching which one of us, by the sounds of their breathing or lack thereof.

Dawn and Deb both gave me grief for putting on such a good performance. I was starting with putting on my lotion as I decided which of two guys I would like attention from. I caught one looking at me as I bowed down doing my legs and feet. I said, “Caught yah,” as his eyes widened. “Would you mind as punishment to put lotion on my back?”

He was frozen in place, so I casually walked over handed him my lotion and turned around, and knelt in front of him. It wasn’t long and he was putting lotion on his hands and rubbing it on my back. He first did my neck and shoulders and then below my top. He nicely scooted my straps to get under them with lotion; I was now waiting to see how he handled it near my bottom. "I am not inviting you to get fresh but I wouldn’t mind you get just a bit under the panty line a little to protect me if the swimsuit shifts.”

I asked, "How is the water today; is there any undertow?" He shared, it’s a little cool getting in you're better to jump or dive to get in than go slowly. I hold out my hand, “Would your girlfriend mind if I borrowed you for a while” I asked?

“I have a girlfriend but we are not going steady,” he replied.

“No, I just thought it is late enough that whoever I see, I might not see them tomorrow and you look like a nice guy to know. I haven’t been to this beach, but I know some have an undertow or if there’s a point where the footing drops off fast. How have you found it?”

“Well I am a pretty good swimmer but yes there is an undertow a little further out. But it is not usually very wide if you swim 25 feet in either direction you can swim fairly easily. I could go out with you if you would like.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose on you, but I would be happy if you did. My name is Danica, what’s yours?”

“Danica, that’s a pretty name, mine is simply Nate.” With that, we made our way through a maze of people and blankets to get to the water. “Are you game for running in and diving into a wave before it breaks?" I guess it wasn’t a question as he grabbed my hand, pulling me to follow. I glimpsed up and saw the wave he was thinking of.

I was a few feet over and about a step behind him as we respectively dove into the wave before it broke. When I came up it was different to have long wet hair. I tried to get the hair out of my eyes, as another wave broke over me. Now gasping for air, Nate grabbed me around the waist and I put an arm on his shoulders.

I got my composure and started to swim on my own. Sorry, I was out of his arm I splashed him in the face and started to swim away. If he was a good swimmer he should have no trouble catching me. His first lunge to catch me, found his hand going over my butt and catching on the bottom of my two-piece suit. He quickly let go but I stopped and when he caught me, we laughed.

Nate said, “I am sorry.”

“Sorry that you hit me on the butt, or that you let go of my bottom?” We both laughed as he said, “Both”.

Nate and I had a good time as we were swimming in the deep water for over an hour before Dawn came out and called me back into shore. Dawn explained to him we were in the Miss Teen Contest later in the week and we needed to go up on the boardwalk for a little while.

As Nate asked, "Would you like to get a little publicity for the contest", he was calling someone on his cell. "My mom’s a reporter for the area paper and she will meet us on the boardwalk in five minutes." With that Nate yelled to the guys around us, they were all invited up to the boardwalk for a photo with these two Miss Jersey Shore Princess candidates.

Nate’s Mom had called a few spots about photos and by the time we all gathered there were some 30 guys and the two of us. Mrs. Riggs called in one of the Ocean County contestants to add extra local interest. It was Dawn who announced we would be in “The Miss Jersey Shore Teen Princess Contest.

Mrs. Riggs took many photos saying she would send some out to our various counties and their newspapers covering our areas. Several people including Mrs. Riggs noticed I was the girlfriend photographed at the state baseball tournament. So Nate got the joy of lifting me and twirling me as we hugged and faked a kiss. It was fake until after the picture was taken.

“I hate this Nate, meeting you and hitting it off at the beginning of the week; there is no way I can be a one-boy girl this week.” He hugged me stating he understood and for the girl he was dating, he hoped it would just make her a little jealous, not angry.

I asked Miss Riggs if she knew some places we could go during the coming week like daycares, hospitals, and places people gathered a lot. “I am sorry but our paper cannot be seen as helping you get publicity.”

“We’re not asking for you to be following us around; we are interested in meeting the public and showing our caring side. Having made the front page of the second section did not seem like a big thing. Between the guys who huddled around the three of us and my picture with Nate mimicking the baseball photo we quickly were becoming known. Monday's a free day to relax and enjoy ourselves, Sis has us visiting the daycare and area hospital on Tuesday.

We read stories at the Daycare and were asked to share our talent. Dawn was able to play the piano and sing, but I stated I used a CD to accompany me and had not brought one with me. A speech therapist put me on the spot as I had CDs and a karaoke machine. She played and I sang to the song “Makes Me Feel Like a Woman”.

Before we left we were called to the Pediatric Section of the area hospital and some seven boys and girls wanted to meet and hear us. Dawn plays one jazzy piece on a keyboard and then played and sang another song. The kids didn’t know the song “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” but they got into it as I hammed it up with some of the patients. Dawn and I teamed up for “I’m a Believer” from the Shrek movie. I was holding a four-year-old boy who was so happy he lost control and wet his pants and my outfit as he was sitting on my lap at the time.

It's a little embarrassing but well worth it as the staff shared he had not smiled in two days and sorely needed the BM. They stated he would probably regain his health but he was going through some painful procedures. I was given a scrub uniform used by surgical nurses and a new pair of panties to wear as I left the hospital.

We had been given sets of tickets to give away wherever we promoted the contest. Since we were not told not to, we have two sets of tickets for each place we visited.

Wednesday we visited a community at the south edge of the county visiting four places, two in the morning and two in the afternoon. But the evening was ours and there’s nothing like a good boardwalk in Jersey at night. The many lights, colors, and various activities in some ways are nothing special, but it brings joy to everyone: boys and girls, teens in groups or on a date, adults and older folks.

I like walking on the beach at the edge of the water. Nate caught up with me again tonight and we walked to the beach and away from the lights Nathan gave me a warm kiss and I felt him getting excited. I wished I could have done more but tonight was neither the time nor the place.

We ended up at a Karaoke nightspot and Dawn and I both had to wear wristbands showing we were under drinking age. We had been there for two hours sipping cokes and listening to others sing with varying degrees of success. I drew Carol King’s song “I Feel the Earth Move”; I am not sure of its exact title.

The song was proceeding quite well and almost done when I noticed a guy put something into Dawn’s and my drinks. I am enough of a Jersey kid girl or guy; I quickly reacted and charged the little S.O.B. I surprised him as I tripped him up and Nate helped me to hold him on the floor. I asked for no one to touch our drinks.

The guy trying to save his little butt; said I had been drinking and coming onto him during the night. His allegation, as well as the charge against him, made the police log of the county paper. I quickly heard from contest officials that I was where I shouldn’t have been and my position as a contestant was now being reviewed.

That hit the noon news as it wasn’t until my blood alcohol test showed not even a trace of alcohol. But our drinks did have the contents of a date rape drug in them as well as his fingerprints on the containers.

Presently it meant my suspension was not immediate but still under consideration. Witnesses from Willie’s Spot and people from various places we visited or met stepped up and I was soon exonerated. But I was not out of hot water for long.

The Ocean County contest did not require proof or demand its contestants to be women, and another contestant had made it known she was transgendered in the process of transitioning. Like a lightning rod, I was one of the first contestants who was asked their opinion on the revelation. I stated, “As I read the rules Samantha qualifies as she presents herself as a young woman and properly applied and was accepted into the contest.”

I asked if I would be willing to undergo testing to prove I was a woman, as some other contestants suggested they would. I quickly replied, “No, this is the 21st century, we don’t make up the rules after the fact to suit a few people. If the judges find a transgendered woman worthy of being crowned Miss Teen, it’s all to her credit.”

We, the contestants present Thursday morning, were brought into a briefing about the situation. However, it turned into a bit of a political backroom meeting.

I tried to stay quiet, but unsure of how things were proceeding I stood up and asked, “Since I am not endowed with great breasts, can I challenge those who have used cosmetic or surgical enhancements to be disqualified? There are some rules and prior rulings in this contest’s history that forbid some practices that are not presently tested for.’

‘If you are going to change the rules to cast out one or more contestants, then I will demand that present rules be tested for using currently accepted medical testing and medical evaluations.”

Dawn had asked around a bit and we knew at least seven other contestants would stand with us. Dawn suggested, “Since the Contest Board has not made a ruling, it is my suggestion that it be treated as not an issue and proceed as that largest teen contest on the shore. It will be us the contestants and contest leaders who accept or reject a stigma attached to our contest.”

Sandra spoke up and said, “If we do not stand together and move forward, we will lose on either decision. The person chosen as the Teen Princess may wish she hadn’t.”

The meeting was quickly becoming unified, not that we all thought the same, but agreed our contest this year would do well to live within the current rules and practices. Several contestants would not want to come under the enforcement of current rules and policies.

A well-known female singer in New Jersey, as well as Buckinghams, had volunteered to sing or perform at either night’s show. Their presence alone would add the interest of thousands alone and bring in added revenue. Come close of the meeting, we were presented with sashes that could be used while we were in public.

Janice, Dawn, and my consultant were now present and wanted us to come and try our clothes, practice-changing outfits, make-up, and hairstyles. Dawn saw it as a hassle as most of it came naturally to her as a girl and has been in various shows and performances in high school. But even she agreed practice would give us an advantage.

I found it like playing a princess in my dreams. I love the gowns and how they made me feel and look. I liked the swimsuits but was not at all comfortable about wearing them on display to thousands of others. Janice presented me with a new gaff that was so realistic and as comfortable as it could be.

Come Thursday night we were to stay in and get rested. Dawn and I got into a discussion and shared feelings as things were catching up to us. Both of us were getting hot earlier in the day as we were changing outfits and both of us were doing a little of this and that checking our shoes, practicing contest routines, organizing our make-up with outfits, practicing singing, and changing hairdos. Janice was being a fuss-budget as tomorrow and Saturday there were so many things we needed to do on our own or with minimal assistance.

A contestant could use wigs, fancy hairstyles, and vast changes in makeup and clothing, and while she could be helped at the start of the day or after a major break, once completion is going she needs to be able to be more than pretty. She has to work and take care of herself, handling wardrobe malfunctions, and quick changes and keeping her composure.

As we visited we were both getting hot again and Dawn reminded me of when I first began to stay at her house and sleep in her room. “Danica there has been something I have had a growing desire to do.” She paused and thought I wasn’t sure where she was going. I took her hands and gently kissed them. “I want to make love to you, woman to woman. I am not sure what that means or what to do, but I want you tonight.” Wow! Where did that come from?

With that Dawn helped me to take off the remainder of my clothes as I did the same with her. I unhooked her bra my hands slid around to her breasts. They were already warm and excited, but we were both responding to the touches and kisses of others.

I wanted to take off my gaff and shower, Dawn, however, stopped me saying, “It is you Danica that I love and want to make out with.” She guided me over to her bed and asked me to lie down. It was a very intimate time with many words of endearment spoken as well as body sighs. Dawn gently touched the insides of my legs and caressed my nipples with her lips and tongue.

I had originally sought to find her sweet spot but went to lightly move my fingers over the inside of her legs and the edge of her nearby lips. “Thanks for taking your time, Oouu… that feels so nice.” It would be close to a half-hour before we brought each other to an orgasm. I was learning the difference between having sex and being intimate.

We each experienced orgasms when we were intimate but not as a guy and a gal. It was unlike previous experiences as a few fireworks were set off where the whole program. Tonight we shared intense emotion-filled times with orgasms, but it was the tenderness and each seeking to please the other that made it special. Dawn picked on my earlobes and neck while fondling my legs and breasts to slowly bring on my first orgasm. She was inside my legs treating me like the girl I am helping me to hold the orgasm as long as possible. I do not remember falling asleep as I fell asleep still lying next to Dawn.

It was seven and our alarm was sounding off as Debbie came to see why we weren’t up and turned it off. We were still together as she knocked and looked in. She smirked, came to turn off the alarm, and joked, “Well I hope you two have not used all your energy on sex. You have two big days ahead of you. I suggest you take your showers separately.”

Sis had made a nice breakfast of eggs for protein, toast, fruit, and yogurt. “Janice suggested you wear just enough makeup to make yourselves presentable as you make your way to Maurice’s Winnebago. It’s just behind the auditorium of the contest. It had two extensions one in the rear which was now a dressing/make-up room. The usual queen-size bed had been removed for just these purposes.

Janice had our schedule and as expected each contestant was to wear a simple but elegant gown and be introduced and interviewed by the three regular judges. Then we would be practicing the various productions that the contestants did together during the contest. Late that afternoon we would have a second rehearsal and be ready at 6 pm. when the program would begin and go until 11 pm. the first night.

The Pageant would officially begin at 6:30 with the procession of the contestants in evening gowns processing down the runway, and each came back and visited with the Master of Ceremonies (MC) then took her spot until all had come through.

Luckily I was to be the 12th contestant to process out of the 23 participants; it gave me a chance to watch those in front of me. I would take a cue from the walk of one, the turn of another, and judge how to wave and make eye contact from those before me.

Within the first three, I had the walk, but they tried doing too much in the turn for my taste Bonnie was fifth and I liked her simple yet very nice turn. Dawn’s style of making contact and waving to the audience as contestant #10 completed my approach to the procession.

Even with air conditioning wearing a formal gown under the lights was very warm, especially as excited as each of us girls was. My gown was silver and pink satin with one shoulder strap. The skirt was slender with the side slit helped by three buttons left undone. A few male voices were encouraging me and I was flattered that they had come to the contest. Carl Giammarese, of the Buckinghams, was acting MC and greeted me warmly at the end of my walk.

Carl, “Danica, like all of the contestants you are a beautiful young woman, but you already have a reputation for living outside of what might be anticipated. You are more likely to speak up for others than yourself, and on your first walk already you seem to have a fan base with the general public. How well do you hope to fair in such a traditional beauty contest?”

“I am not an extraordinary beauty, but hopefully with beauty, wisdom, and talent that speaks well of a teenage girl in 2012. I would like a young girl of 8, 10, or 12 to be able to see in Miss Shore Teen of New Jersey to see someone they can realistically aspire to be,” I said.

The talk went a little longer, and I was very happy with how I had done. Janice was happy that we had brought the extra gown as she thought we opened the door a little bit more to a non-traditional beauty queen. I felt that it would be a great advantage to Dawn as she has a beautiful blend of the two.

We sang as we finished the segment with a musical number utilizing our voices, movement, and charm as individuals and as a group. I was hitting it off with all the other contestants save one. I wasn’t sure why Sonya skipped the contest in Atlantic City, where she was from, but I hoped her airs of superiority were as transparent to the judges and the public as they were backstage to other contestants including me. She's a real beauty and is an experienced competitor.

Next was the first of the two times modeling swimsuits. During the contest save for stated breaks, we shared two large rooms for contestants to change between segments. Samantha was on one side of me and Sherry from Mercer County, a friend of Dr. Deb’s mother was on the other. Samantha had in many ways the appearance of a natural and traditional woman, but there was a stigma being placed on her that I was asked to speak to.

“If you are asking for flaws in her you have come to the wrong place, I just don’t see or sense anything. She is as cordial and sweet as the other contestants I have encountered so far. My biggest worry is I hope I appear as beautiful and graceful as I walk around in a swimsuit and 4” heels.”

It was nice as we paraded ourselves out as a group and then down the runway as individuals as Carl sang a medley of hits by The Buckinghams, a group with whom he continues to sing. It was interesting as at least five other contestants had a walk that was in sync with the song being sung at the time. Would that be seen as a plus or negative by the judges? I for one expected it to be a slight plus to a musician/singer like Carl.

Walking out on the walkway was both frightening and such a rush; my breasts swelled and my nipples hardened. The aroused breasts of several contestants were quite visible as several were not only full but a bit too full, likely not to be that of a 15, 16, or 17 years old. Last for the evening would be the first talent portion of the contest.

I was quite nervous as I would be the seventh to perform, where a piano accompanist, was provided, and the orchestra did play for one woman with a more operatic voice, it was deemed inappropriate to ask the orchestra to play a rock n roll song to accompany me. Prerecorded music was also permitted for two twirlers, but there was no ruling on my use of such music. Its evaluation would be gathered from the judges’ scoring of my talent.

There were two special performances by special guests and one choreographed presentation by the contestants before the final ten contestants were to be selected and announced. The special singers were not only appreciated but called back for an extra number. Maybe it was prophetic as the judges had scored four contestants equal for the last two qualifiers of the Final Ten.

Carl announced that the final group for tomorrow’s competition would be 12, not ten contestants, was popular with the crowd but hard on those not selected. I suspected I was one of those on the bubble and others said I was now even more likely to continue with 12 being selected. While I did not expect to make it to the final 5, I was now hoping and praying to be one of those selected to continue.

It was 11:15 when we left the auditorium, with the contest make-up off; I changed into a simple sundress and sandals. Serena, Bonnie, Dawn, and I went walking on the boardwalk and then down along the beach. We had our public sashes identifying us as contestants.

A group of Nate’s friends found us and we were comfortable walking with them, knowing we wouldn’t be pawed or embarrassed. Children and parents would stop us from time to time. In several places, people took our pictures as we shot hoops, played skeet board, threw darts at balloons, or softballs at bottles. Serena and Dawn were athletic and had a bit more success. The guys were more than willing to show us how to do what.

By 11:30 it was mostly young couples, small groups of gals and guys, and a few lonely souls. We paired up and visited a lonely guy here and there. Meeting Tony moved me as I thought he easily could be me. He was handsome in a plain way, Serena warmed up to him as well and his face was glowing. Tony said, “I often dreamed to meet and talk to a girl with ‘princess-like beauty, now I meet two and I don’t know what to say?"

“I kind of know the feeling neither see ourselves as ‘princesses’, but now I see ‘Prince Charming’ appears to be kind of ordinary and doesn’t know who he is either.” Tony smiled as I asked him if he had a cell phone. He got it out and I clicked on the camera feature. Dawn took a few pictures of Serena and me kissing him from each side.

Then Dawn suggested I sit on his lap and put an arm around his neck. It not only made for a good picture but took enough time for Tony to become aroused. I shouldn’t have mentioned it, but I did, “I see you like me too.” He tried to apologize but I cut him off, “You’re not a dirty old man, just a healthy teenage boy. Your body probably knows I warmed up to you as well.” I gave him two complimentary tickets to tomorrow’s contest as we excused ourselves and made our way back to the bungalow.

We woke up early jumped into our swimsuits and ran to the beach for an early dip in the ocean. It was funny as Debbie came out with us and it was Debbie who drew the most attention, and rightfully so. Dawn and I agreed, where we were cute to very pretty teens, Sis was a beautiful woman. Seeing her in the ocean was very unlike her appearance at the clinic or hospital.

Serena had on a small two-piece suit that made her look extra hot after her short swim in the ocean. Beach security was watching us and seemed to be disappointed when we put on wraps as we headed to the boardwalk.

A guy named Scott complimented Debbie, “Your sister is a lot like you. I expect her to easily make the final ten.”

“Sorry pal, I like the compliment but she’s my adopted sister.”

“Scott knows that; it goes deeper than looks,” said a woman who walked up next to him.

“I am sorry, but I thought he was trying to hit on me.”

“I wouldn’t blame him but my brother came to see what Janice is up to, and then he recognized Danica’s last name and your first name. Scott said you turned down the Medical Center in NYC to stay and practice where you could be closer to your sister.”

Scott said, “Janice, the girls’ manager, is using a number of our gowns, two with your sister. I know she would like to get Maurice’s competitive in another market and so would we. My sister and parents are in the family business, I just do part of their business work. I also serve as the family rep on the Medical Center’s Board. Dr. Canfield spoke so highly of his desire for the Hospital to get you and you are not even in his specialty.”

“Between Janice and this sister of yours, Marissa and I decided to take time to be here. We thought the first gown and the dress she used in singing worked nicely. Danica represents our interests well.”

Debbie “So how is it that she’s like me?”

Marissa spoke up, “She’s picked up your character, and she’s naturally very attractive and made a very good showing as a singer. She’s a neat person in her own right, but her friend Dawn, says she has new chemistry with you and is growing as a woman.”

“I am sure she is growing as a woman, and I am pleased if I deserve any credit, but she has done it. Please excuse me, I must be going.”

“Just one more thought; my brother wasn’t seeking to hit on you, but if he would ask you to go out, I could understand that.”

Debbie shook her head and proceeded to come back to the bungalow, as the last of us were finishing our showers. Sis walked up to me, hugged me, and said “I love and am proud of you,” all in one motion. I found myself breaking into tears and holding onto her. I was not sure why I was crying or what I was feeling, but they were tears of joy.

Serena spoke up, “I wish my sister cared about me like that?” Bonnie said, “My sister and brothers are good but we never say or show it unless something bad has happened.”

The next thing we know is Denise and her boyfriend are at the door, but no one is exactly ready to answer the door. Dawn scoots on a pair of panties under her towel-wrapped body and tells Denise, they can’t come in but need to stay on the porch or go for a walk on the beach.

Denise turned to Jason asking him to take a walk as she needed to help us to get ready. We were all glad Denise stayed around to help.

“You know, I went on the web last night and several sites are surprised by the interest and hits, you gals are getting. You guys are now tabbed as the “Hot Five”. They’re not sure how Danica’s music went over with the judges but one site had 414 likes to 43 dislikes and 12 undecideds.

One reporter said “This Jersey Shore contest may be taking the beauty pageant into the 21st century… When red-blooded American guys come in from the street… they must be doing something right… Let’s hope the judges are listening and don’t kick it back to the 1900s.”

Like the day before we wore basics with light make-up to the Maurice vehicle and Janice gave us instructions, as our clothes were set out in the order we would be using them. First was a reception with the Contest’s Board of Directors and sponsors. It was not until we were  ¾ through that I realized the judges, as well as Carl, were milling around but never really into the conversations.

2:30 the reception ended and we all converged on the Maurice vehicle demanding why we weren’t told it was part of the competition. Janice was as bold as we were in stating, “I told you the contest begins at 1:00 pm. I intentionally did not repeat it hoping you would be yourselves.”

This was just like when you were on the beach informally meeting the public here and there. The judges were looking to see how you responded when the lights and cameras were not on. You presented yourselves well. Relax and go out onto the boardwalk and mingle with the public again.

Tonight’s program was set to being at six and we already came at 5:45 the program did not formally begin until 6:20 as they wanted the judges seated and ready when we began. I started with my third formal gown, a shimmering blue gown with a silk scarf hung around my neck. Walking down the runway, I pulled the scarf off as I reached the end and as I turned I wrapped it around my waist and changed the look. I was pleased as it went smoothly and was different even from the other four in our group.

The selection of the final 12 was made and the group of us except Bonnie cut the final dozen. I was nervous as I was the eleventh to be named. The program went into a group production featuring the eleven who did not make the cut. I thought they did great at one of the toughest parts of the evening.

Janice tried to console Bonnie saying, “They eliminated the only veteran of the ‘Hot Five’.” … “There is nothing we can do about it, but it does serve to notice each of you needs to do her very best at each segment of the contest and give as much attention to the crowd as you do the judges if not more.”

I kept on my gown as each contestant needed to answer three questions on various subjects. My questions were: “1) Name three women who were inspirational in your life; 2) What do you see as the role of faith and religion in the world today, and 3) the importance of adoption in life today?”

“When I was a little girl and I saw the first U.S. Women’s Soccer team that won the gold medal, I thought women could teach men some things about playing as a team. I celebrated the woman who won the winning goal, and how the goalkeeper handled the whole Olympic competition, but I celebrated the individuals playing as a team. “

“My Sister, Debbie, who is not only a neat sister and very important to me, but she is a women’s surgeon. Over time I think she will prove to be an inspiration to others. I have already gone to the hospital twice when she was called in. Her boss, Dr. Myrt called her in for an emergency, and I thought she would assist Dr. Myrt. But Dr. Myrt had my sister do it because she said “Dr. Deb was the better of the two in surgery. She is not only a very good surgeon but she is very good with her patients.”

“Close trusted friends; I am blessed with two Dawn Miller, who's in the contest, and Denise Robbins. I wish everyone could have some close trusted friends. They encourage me to try something like this, They’re there for me when things get rough. They have helped me to mature as a healthy 16 years old trying to become a woman.”

“Second, I am like many teenagers, most of us have faith but have trouble putting it into words. I believe faith should be something that is kind of visible in the way one lives their life. I wish we could go back to the 60s & 70s when I hear many of the religions were working together against poverty, and civil rights and kind of opened their doors to each other. Today religion is seen too often like our politics partisan to their way of doing things.”

“It would be great if faith could compel us to share our differences as gifts we bring a sense that unity is bigger than our differences in the world.”

“I like the question about the importance of adoption; too many times it is seen with a stigma. Good adoptive people are often busy, but their hearts are bigger and they work hard to work with you. It is nice to have someone who chooses to love you. There are many reasons why an adoption might be needed.”

“I hope I didn’t say too much or go too long; though I could have talked a lot longer.” There was applause as I walked back to my spot. Next was the second swimsuit. Little did I know, Debbie agreed to a change of my blue swimsuit, with an oval cut-out on each side. Dawn giggled saying, “You have come, a long way girl!”

We looked at each other and gave suggestions to one another about make-up or hair. Having given ourselves a second check we agreed the changes were good. Janice had us move up to 4” heels, which is enough to challenge a girl to look like a lady and not something less. We were a little more relaxed and comfortable as each of us walked the catwalk.

I was clear at the outer end of the walk as I spotted Debbie and her/my family and then just behind her, my Mom/Aunt, my sister Michele and Ms. Johnson. I remembered a remark by Debbie, “Whether you are surprised or shocked stay cool until that segment is done.” (Now, came to mind?) I twirled around an extra time, and the remainder of the walk was like a flashback of pictures from the first time I was trying on a prom dress and the metamorphosis to being Danica now.

Luckily being in the final 12 made the segment manageable. I no sooner walked behind the curtain and the tears broke like a floodgate as I ran to the dressing area. I was hyperventilating when Janice and Dawn caught up to me. “It’s a good cry, and you handled yourself well,” said Dawn. “Catch your breath,” Janice massaged me, “relax and channel your joy to what’s coming up.”

Next came the talent segment and then the selection of the five finalists, a place I had not dared hope for until now. Presently there was special entertainment and a fifteen-minute break.

I wanted to change to my last gown and be through, but Janice overruled me. “I want you in a sundress or the sequined short dress and ready to go out rocking. And I don’t mean out of the contest. I want you to rock yourself out of the final twelve and into the finals. Do you hear me? Do you hear me, young lady?” She paused wanting an answer.

Dawn and I had already agreed that if the spirit was right we would do a bit more for an encore during our talent segment. We had also visited with another contestant who had done twirling as her talent the night before and was tempted to do gymnastics today but worried that it would not be acceptable. Dawn approached her about daring to try. Each of us felt it was a possible ticket into the final five.

Deanna was the third person in the talent segment and she had decided to go with a floor routine with vaulting a flip over a horse apparatus and then finish with a cute tumble with a “beach” volleyball in her hands. She succeeded and had effectively raised the bar in the competition if the judges were open to the non-traditional route.

I was fifth and had just enough time to collect my composure in response to Deanna's program. I had taken one of Carole King’s up-tempo songs and added my own playing a rhythm guitar. My encore performance would be to repeat four notes on the guitar three times as I asked the audience to join in repeating the main verse and chorus.

My short shiny silvery dress was a big step for me but it went better with my red, silver, and pink guitar. I came in well with the pre-recorded music and my voice and volume seemed to vibrate well with the audience. I did well with King’s song, but noticeably was not mimicking her. The song ended well as the audience was revved up as I began repeating the four notes and onto the encore.

The general audience at the back started singing and it was working forward as the crowd came to its feet. Some sang and most joined in giving needed rhythm.

MC Carl G and the orchestra stayed neutral but were moved by the progressive mood of this contest. Dawn was the tenth contestant and she too did a very good performance and brought in the crowd. Four other contestants tried to adjust to the pressure to do more but most likely hurt their position.

Special entertainment took over as the twelve of us changed into our evening gowns. I changed into my third evening gown, easily as beautiful as the other two. That was as Janice had planned as she wanted me not to appear to be backing down, but ready and expecting to move on.

While I wanted to be in the final five, I was not expecting it to happen. As the gown came down over my head I knew it was special and more than what I had agreed to. “Janice, what did you do this is extravagant; it fits and feels like a million.”

“Now let yourself glow and enjoy come what may.” Janice had gathered the five of us, asking Bonnie to help us get ready. Bonnie helped with my makeup and I did my hair.

When Debbie came back to our dressing area and gave me a bracelet, necklace, and earring set. It had been something we had looked at. It was my dream in time to get it. “Little Sis, this is my gift to you as it is time for dreams to come true.”

“But I have not won anything, why now?”

“You are experiencing being a young woman at an accelerated pace. This is not about something you won or might win; it is my celebrating the journey with you. I do not want this gift to be part of a pity party or a sign of something you won. I don’t want you to wear the full set until after you are in the final five.

Janice said, “Enough, for now, Deb back to your seat, and Danica this is your night. You and Dawn are redefining ‘Princess’ for 2012.”

Using the earrings and bracelet I was walking out with the others, each taking a walk down the walkway. I could see Mom, Michele, and Steph without tears, glad they saw the girl that had been hidden for so long.

Dawn, Sherry, and I were standing next to each other and holding hands. When Deanna was called as the first finalist, we felt a little more excited. Dawn and Sherry were called, and next, the early favorite and home county girl Monica was called. Eight of us remained and only one of us would be chosen.

“Miss Danica Walters rounds out the five finalists as they have been chosen.” The other seven walked to their spots with the other contestants not selected. They went to a special dance and song number as we went to the back.

Each of us would go for a walk and then have one thought to respond to. Tonight’s gown, one question, one more walk down the walkway with poise under pressure. It might not be hard-hitting, the career-deciding play of the Super Bowl. But then again the beautiful women here aren’t relegated to the sidelines.

I change to 4” heels again and added the necklace and felt like a Princess already. With joy, I walked down the walkway, not only waving my hand and smiling but I was visiting with and reacting to the crowd. The crowd responded in appreciation, but not in a casually quiet mode as at many contests.

“Danica, people connected with this pageant this year better than in recent times. They would like you to either defend your position more strongly or give proof you and other contestants prove they are women if you were to be crowned Miss Teen New Jersey Shore tonight?”

“I will stand by my position as stated earlier and be selected into the final five as my proof of being worthy. I am blessed by family and friends supporting me to be the best person I can be. I thank everyone for the opportunity to compete this week and be part of the New Jersey Shore community and this contest. I would be proud to represent you.”

“Respectfully you have run a progressive contest that has drawn the enthusiastic attention and approval of many those who select this year’s Princess should know that is what I stand for and want to be part of.”

The five of us completed our walks and responded to our questions and now were standing to the side as Carol King herself, sang Tapestry and they showed scenes from the contest preparations to the present. Last year’s Princess was presented once again and made her final walk as the reigning Miss Jersey Shore Teen Princess.

Monica and Dawn were named fourth and third runner-up respectively. It was stated that second and first runner-ups were a virtual tie but Sherry was named 2nd runner-up. I could not believe that I was down to the final two. Deanna and I hugged and then held hands. I was very excited but was so sure she was going to be named the Princess that I couldn’t believe it when they announced her as the First Runner-Up.

The other contestants swarmed around me congratulating me as best they could as the new reigning Princess. Someone helped place the sash over my shoulder and around my neck and then the reigning Princess placed the crown on my head and pinned it in place. Dawn somehow took the bouquet of roses and presented them to me and I saw her through a veil of joyous tears.

I walked down the walkway acknowledging the crowd but on my way back took time to greet my family and receive their congratulations. In some ways seeing my Mom, Michele, and Steph made it a bittersweet moment, but that made it much more meaningful

Carl G formally greeted me as I came back, asked about my first impressions, and concluded the show. What was asked or said I do not remember, but I went to the back tired, exhausted, and thinking I was done for the evening. Janice led me to a chair and informed me the night was young. Now, at 11:00 pm. it would be 2 (AM) before I would retire for the evening.

She refreshed my make-up, fixed a hairstyle to go with the crown, and had me up to meet the press and go to the Princess’ Ball and Reception. A special joy was when I found a nine-year-old boy seemingly lost in the crowd. I took his hand and drew him to me.

Someone asked him why he was crying, “I was told I can’t be a princess.”

“Princess Danica, how would you comfort this young boy?”

“Everett, I am very proud that you would hold me as a role model. I think it speaks well for your breadth of character to be here tonight. I believe you have the character and inner beauty to become your special self.”

I know I danced with many people and enjoyed the best wishes and compliments of others before it was all over.

Back at the bungalow Debbie and Dawn helped me to undress and get ready for bed. I was too tired to do anything but was told later I pulled Dawn in with me. I fell asleep holding her. Five hours later I woke up the same way.

I brushed back my hair, put on an ordinary swimsuit, grabbed a beach towel, and made my way to the beach shortly after 7:00 am. Sis was with me as were Dawn, Denise, Sherry, Joani, and Bonnie and we had a refreshing swim in the ocean. Several photographers were delighted to get photos of me away from the formality of the Miss Teen Contest or official appearances in the future.

Debbie took me and said she needed to be getting to our house, and I would need to stay with Aunt Myrt.

To Be Continued

“Dawn what do I do now?… I suggest you get on with being a girl!”

Dr. Pamela White “Your body, mind, and spirit need you to be patient as you come to terms with being a young woman.”

Please take time to share comments, write to the author and respond as you deem helpful, it is very much appreciated.

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Previously… She refreshed my make-up, fixing a hairstyle to go with the crown; helped me up to meet the press and go to the Princess’ Ball and Reception. A special joy was when I found a nine-year-old boy and drew him to me... the boy was crying, “I was told I can’t be a princess.”
…“Princess Danica, how would you comfort this young boy?” “Everett, I am proud that you would hold me as a role model. It speaks well of your character in being here tonight. You have the character and inner beauty to me, you are worthy of a princess’s love...”

I was too tired to do anything but I pulled Dawn in with me. I fell asleep holding her. Five hours later, I brushed back my hair, put on an ordinary swimsuit, grabbed and beach towel and made my way to the beach shortly after 7:00 am. Several photographers were delighted to get photos of me away from the formality of the Miss Teen Contest or official appearances in the future.

I said to Dawn, “Dawn, what do I do now? This was supposed to be a neat shared experience that was supposed to end yesterday, having done our best and lost. I’m no Princess.”

Dawn said, “I suggest you get on with being a girl, who was selected to be Teen Princess of the New Jersey Shore! You already inspired one more boy to want to be as good as a girl,” Dawn suggested visiting Minor League baseball teams in New Jersey, leading the crowd in singing the National Anthem, before the game or “Take Me Out to the Ball Park” during the 7th Inning stretch.

I knew of two teams and soon found out there were six teams in New Jersey. Four teams quickly said yes but the short minor league baseball season and my schedule allowed only three for the remainder of the summer. I picked the Trenton Thunder of the Yankee farm system, the Bridgewater Patriots, and a third-team the Sussex Sky Hawks. After I was at Trenton all six were scheduled for the beginning of the next season.

Dr. Myrt, Dawn, Denise and I went to the Trenton Thunder game of Thursday. The Trenton manager allowed me to say hello to his players before the game, but they were not allowed to officially greet me until the end of the game. I can give testimony to their good hands-on and off the field.

I was fortunate Dr. Myrt had me on a short leash, keeping me in her sight. I was surprised a high school girl would get so much attention. Denise and Dawn said I needed to get over being so naive as a girl. I was thankful my vagina appliance held its secret well. I received a baseball jersey signed by the team. Half were not signed until after I was wearing the jersey. Two of the players already had stints up to the Yankees.

Much of the week at the shore was pure rest, fun and getting used to everyday life as a girl. Dr. Myrt did talk to me about meeting with a Dr. Pamela White and getting surgery that Dr. Deb anticipated I would need. Debbie, Dr. Deb Walters was under a lot of criticism for the changes I was experiencing. Some were stating she was ethically and professionally wrong and irresponsible for my change.

If the change came within the coming months, it would be both to my relief and exoneration of my sister. If the projected changes happened even within a year it would exonerate Deb, but might come only after medical sanctions were brought against her for medical violations.

I knew in my struggle to be a girl I might have overstepped ethical boundaries numerous times, but it was done by me and way before knowing Dr. Deb. Come Friday as the day wore on I thought I was run down from all my adventures, and I was not smart enough to take it easy. I collapsed in a boy’s arms on a dance floor. It even took Kevin a minute to realize for sure I was not faking. I was emergency airlifted to our hospital.

Dr. Pam White shared with me, I had taken my male body, thrown it into limbo; finally having used enough real products to jump-start my body’s production of female hormones to match my feminine psyche.

The resulting surgery came the coming week and lasted 3.5 hours, with my Sis and Dr. Myrt watching in the teaching theater surrounding that surgical suite. Dr. Pam suspected it would be at least a half a year or longer before I would experience my body menstruating, as my body was now maturing as a female.

Dr. Pamela White stated straightforwardly to me, “Your body, mind, and spirit need you to be patient as you come to terms with being a young woman. Your youth and pride want you to believe you already know much more than you do. The truth is quite the opposite; if you want to enjoy a long life of enjoying being a woman, pay heed to what I say.”

“The truth if mistaken shortly may cost you dearly and result in hurts no one can undo. You will have enough of those experiences as a woman through the normal course of life.”

Dr. White met with my sister and my mother, apart from my knowledge, telling what she had discovered through the surgery. She expected in time my body and life would be fully in sync with me being Danica.

I was happy as I became awake, back in my hospital room that Pastor Ramona was there to greet me and give a prayer of thanksgiving. I surprised her and Debbie by asking about being baptized as Danica Lea Walters. She was not sure if it was needed by God but understood my desire to affirm God’s love of me.

I was back home and we drove to The Bridgewater Patriots game to renew my reign as Miss Teen Shore Princess. They had a CD made from my songs at the Miss Jersey Shore Princess Contest. 1,000 were given away at the game. I was given another 1,500 copies. I quickly asked what I was to receive or what charity would be the benefactor. Teen Girls at Risk (TGR) received $500 from the team and another $3,000 plus in donations from the 2,342 in attendance.

A dance at the ballpark was almost as well attended as the game and players and their dates and families mixed well with the crowd. That night created new chemistry between the team and the community. It was nice for me and Debbie as it was less than 5 miles from our new home.

There was one player Eli that I danced with and exchanged numbers. A year ago I might have looked at him as someone I wanted to be like. He was a very good ballplayer. It made me wonder a little about the athlete in me, but right now I was a girl hot for a guy wondering if he saw me as good enough.

He commented, “Danica, to me you are a princess but what I feel needs to wait.” I gave him a big kiss as the evening closed; we walked our different ways. I did enjoy seeing him once on an off day.

Back home, I met with Pastor Ramona about being baptized. Dawn stayed over that night and we were talking about guys and the response they cause in us. Dawn and I had both taken showers and were at various stages of drying and doing our hair and getting ready for bed when we realized again how much we meant to each other.

I had cooled down from the shower and had on a cute satin baby doll nightie on. I was once again warm and damp. I was going to quietly go and talk to Debbie. I tried to sneak out, Dawn asked, “If your concerns are the same as mine, we might as well talk to your sister together.”

“Debbie, we need to talk to you about a very sensitive subject, but we don’t want to be in trouble with you,” I asked?

Debbie smiled and asked us to sit down and explain. She was not surprised that we were in love as well as best friends. “I am more comfortable speaking as a Sister and not as a Mother. A friend Louise and I had a similar problem when we were growing up. A best friend is a good choice to explore who you are and learn about your bodies, but it’s also complicated by how much you love each other.”

“I cannot so much answer for you to encourage you to take your time and make good decisions. As Danica’s guardian, I do not want sexual exploration to become such a major part of this time in your life. I strongly suggest you both gargle well and wash your hands well with an antiseptic soap. Don’t take your hands from one spot to another as you risk transporting germs. What is normal in one place of your body is not in another area.”

Dawn spoke up, “So you’re giving us permission and suggesting we do it.”

“No,” Debbie said, “I do not want you to have sex per se, but honestly, yes girls to explore their sexuality, and sometimes with a special girlfriend. I am glad you are sharing with me and do not want it to be wrong nor a secret you keep from me. Remember what I tell you comes from a big sister who is also a doctor. I cannot speak for Dawn’s mother, only as Danica’s guardian.”

I ask, “Did you see yourself as a lesbian when you were making out with Louise?”

“Yes, and you will meet her as we usually see each other at least once a year. She is Louise Fischer now and they now live in Baltimore. Before you ask, I have never fallen out of love with her, but as her best friend I respect as best as possible that she is married and already has begun a family.”

Somewhere in the conversation, we have a group hug. Dawn and I were back in my bedroom sharing my bed. Dawn was the first to approach me, as we kissed lips, her hands were between my legs seeking to find what turned me on and take me deeper.

I would stroke her back, face or hair and allowed myself the pleasure of being passive. We both enjoyed our time together. Dawn was delighted as well as surprised by how my body responded as a girl. We both knew though I technically shouldn’t, I was now a girl. I experienced an orgasm as a girl was to see the color of fireworks in the form of fountains bursting in my body with various degrees of heat and power of flow and bright colors in my mind's eye.

With my sounds Dawn sought to place a pillow over my head, “You cannot make loud sounds of joy, love groans.” Several times we would just lay side by side enjoying the warmth of the other's body, the gentleness of their breath.

Somewhere well into the morning, sleep settled in until we woke. After showering we walked from my house to Dawns. I had the joyous reminder of how I missed her younger sisters, Jaz and Cassie. Cassie came with a toy crown, “I knew you a princess.”

Mrs. Miller welcomed us and made breakfast before going to church. She talked about what she was hearing about me as a young woman and my reign as a princess. Pastor Ramona asked her as an Elder to assist when I was baptized. I was to be baptized as a believer received from another church.

What I sought was the affirmation that Jesus/God loved me. I loved God and was not worried about expressing what I believed. I still felt the judgment from my blood family and took personally expressions of hate from others. I wanted affirmation of God’s love. I wished I had, had more time with Pastor Ramona, she was very helpful in me understanding my faith.

Debbie picked me up and took me to church, we would sit with the Millers. Debbie was on one side with Cassie nestled next to me, then Dawn next to Jaz and their Mom as we sat in church. The Millers and I were still family, kinda. Now Danica Lea and Debbie Walters were immediate family for me.

Debbie left shortly after worship, to make more rounds at the hospital as she was on-call duty. Tonight I would be home alone. Deb had once again permitted me to research her practice and patients. I heard my phone ring and even now I had not remembered I brought a purse. Sis was calling, suggesting I get in some bicycling. I was to call Ms. Johnson at school in the morning, making sure I was registered and had a class schedule for the beginning of school.

I called the school in the morning and Ms. Johnson was to be my counselor and was in if I wanted to drop by for a visit. I called Dawn and we rode to school together. A year ago bicycling was for little kids, but Sis helped me to grow up and shape up. The two-mile ride was enough to show I needed more exercise

Seeing Ms. Steph Johnson again brought a warm chill reminding me, she knew my other sister Michelle. Ms. Johnson warmly greeted us and took us to her office. She congratulated both of us for our participation in the Miss Teen Jersey Shore contest and my being crowned Princess. She pulled out a small pile of pictures to give to us. She had attended the latter part of the contest. She suggested Dawn look at them while we went over my schedule and goals.

Ms. Johnson said, “Now as Carl, were you in a college-prep program or not? That will influence some of our decisions as we go on.”

I told her, “Yes but I had dropped my language class as I found a college that didn’t require it.”

“So you know most colleges prefer two years of a foreign language. Your aptitude tests show you should be very capable. We have Spanish, German, Japanese and Latin offerings would you be willing to take one of those language classes if they still have room?”

I said, “I hear Spanish was easier and in some areas more useful but I would like to take German.”

“Frau Harper is considered a very good teacher and I think Frau Danica would do well in her class.” Steph checks, “Yes her first-year class still has three openings.”

Dawn interrupted us, “Who are this girl and woman posing with Danica? The girl is in several pictures with Danica and the background on a few more.”

“That girl is Brianna and the woman’s name is Michelle.” Hearing Michelle’s name causes me to look up and then look at Ms. Johnson.

“Ms. Johnson”…

“Please call me Steph, and if I anticipate your question right. Yes, Michelle is your older sister and Brianna is your niece.”

I started to ask, “Why…” but I began to cry and I was soon crying out loud and unable to speak.

Steph said, “She’s very proud and happy for you. Both she and Briana want to know if you ever want her in your life again? ...Did you hear Brianna call you her aunt?”

“I heard her mention an aunt, but I didn’t take it to mean me. I didn’t recognize her mother. I didn’t recognize my sister, what does she think of me?”

Dawn said, “The photos and the distance they came seem to speak loudly for them wanting to be in your life.”

Ms. Johnson was on her cell phone but I hadn’t heard it ring. “Someone would like to say hello,” she said, handing me the phone. I heard, “Hi Sis, it is good to talk to you.”

It wasn’t Debbie’s voice and through my tears, I said, “Hi Michelle, Brianna is beautiful and so are you.” I am sure it took me minutes to say that short statement. But hearing her and feeling her love over the phone was worth whatever time it took. Everything I worried about seemed too insignificant; simple statements of love were not enough but I said them anyway.

We visited over 30 minutes like nothing. I put her number in my cell phone and asked for Brianna’s. “Aunt Dani you were so great in your contest, I knew you would win. You were so popular with the people there. They were talking about you on the boardwalk and wherever we ate. Is it okay if I tell people now that you are my Aunt?”

“Yes Niece; I'm only sorry I don’t know you better. But who would want or care about me like that?”

“I tell my friends you are the ‘Princess who is’. They have been following you on Facebook and Twitter. Could we be friends on FB”

I said, “Yes, but wouldn’t the family be better?”

Finally, I needed to say goodbye to my Niece and share a kiss with my Sis over the phone; knowing I would see them but not sure when. Steph had me sign up for t chorus or band and suggested I consider going out for a sport. I chose to go out for cross-country to get in shape, JV basketball if I could make the team and softball in the spring.

Dawn suggested I take a course called “Women in Literature and Composition”. It was a small group class one had to apply for and was not automatically accepted. “If you get in and have not yet been knocked off your ‘Princess’ podium, you will be there.”

My Sis, Debbie showed up and reminded both Steph and Dawn they were invited to dinner, but they needed to give us time to put it together. Sis like Michelle knew the basics of what was to happen. We finished my schedule, which Debbie and I had to sign and then Debbie went back to work. Dawn and I went bicycling. We were all to meet for dinner at 6:00 p.m.

We made chicken Alfredo, a fresh fruit salad and bread for dinner served with water and sun tea.

Steph asked, “Is there anything you don’t like?”

I quickly responded, “Yes: a two-year term as a princess, being asked out by a guy I didn’t like, or receiving an ugly gift that I needed to say thanks for.” I went on, “My life had blown up in front of me but landed in nice places. I understand the gifts of family and friends. I do not have the biggest pile of stuff, neither am I a pauper.”

This Sunday I am to be baptized, before beginning a new school. I’m to begin working for the gift store, Fife and Drum. With Washington Rock, the Crossing and many places that George Washington slept so close by, it seems fitting to work at such a store.”

The store has picked up a few new shoppers who came to check out this year’s salesgirl. Gabe a football player came in with his mom and younger sister. Later, he came back with a friend Stephen hoping I remembered what they liked. In a technology day and time, handcrafts such as a needlepoint kit meet a certain fancy.”

I said, “Gabe bought a kit for his sister, but when he brought her to pick a pattern and material Cherie and I talked him into a kit for himself." He needed to go on the web and check out Rosie Greer as having first broken the football/needlepoint barrier, lol. I didn’t tell him I already sold a similar kit to Stephen. I hope to go out with one or both of them.”

I said, “My running early every day is helpful though I don’t think I will be very competitive this year."

A few days later I met, Patti a new friend on the cross-country team and she got angry at me. I asked her, “Why are you running with a group you can keep up with.” I knew she wouldn’t improve if she did that.

Patti said, “I won’t be the #2 runner until next year after 1 and 2 graduate.” I suggested by the end of the season she could be #2 or #5 unless she reached her potential. I was in the same running group for about two more weeks until they no longer made me run hard. By that time Patti was now two groups ahead of me.

Like Carl, I didn’t do half as much, save dreaming about who I wanted to be. Wednesday night, Debbie got called in to do a surgery and I was up in the amphitheater to watch. It is like science fiction to me. It would have grossed me out if I was not so taken by my sister working on another person.”

As we left the head nurse said “Congratulations on the good news.” Marge the nurse explained my progress and development as a female had led to sanctions being lifted off of Dr. Deb. Seemingly someone intervened and forced the allegations and charges to be reviewed and dropped from her record.

Sis had allowed me to go back to using the pill not as hormone therapy, but as birth control. She did not want me to have sex, but neither did she want me to be trusting Stephen if I did not. She and I both knew the time was getting closer. We had already been doing light petting.

We wanted to talk to me about oral sex like I had with Jeff as a boy, but that now seemed a lifetime away. I wanted a new start. Debbie, Dawn and once again Mrs. Miller was my chief support and guide system. They were very helpful, but not in giving me the answers and decisions I needed to make.

Going to a new school was great for a new start. Enough people knew me and I knew my way around the school enough to be helpful.

When I got the reading list for Women in Literature and Composition I was glad to see I had read three of the recommended books already. Reading had become easier, and the results fed my appetite to be a better student. Different from last year when I was an outsider; now I was seen as competition by some and a friend by others. Some groups and individuals were open to me and others were not.

Debbie told me, we were back to reality and with the new house and the Miss Teen Contest. We now needed to live within a tighter budget. Meaning there were not to be more new clothes. Several classmates realized it and I was no longer so special. I heard someone comment, “A princess in pauper’s clothes.”

It hurt but I knew it was not true, I was still much better off than many, but I couldn’t wear my princess like wardrobe very many places. Sis was making me put away  ¾ of my money so most of my extra money went to pantyhose, makeup and basics. Debbie did buy me an extra nice set of running shoes.

My first day of school was like our first cross-country meet, I was back in the pack. I felt good after the first time both were done. The second day I had PE and it felt strange going into the girls’ locker room. Dawn looked at me with a smirk and teased me, but others did not know why.

We did running and other exercises to measure our capabilities. My ego was a bit deflated while I generally averaged 70-85% for a junior girl. When they measured dexterity I was below 50% of the girls. Dawn and Patti slapped my butt and said it was from too much princess living. Princess expressions would quickly become old if I didn’t enjoy being a girl so much. Actually, as a boy I had not developed the dexterity most girls develop quite naturally.

Joan and Beth at the gift shop appreciated my work and took me aside to help me practice various craft skills our customers were interested in. Along with my art class, I learned such things such as painting in different styles, especially for crafts and those beginning to learn. My teacher initially laughed when I asked if handwork like cross-stitching and quilting were art.

She asked, “How might you enhance a picture of a nude woman by using different stitches or fabrics?”

I said, “It would add a degree of difficulty, but its sense of tones and texture could do things paint might only allude to.” Joan had a fair size picture of a nude woman she had done but had shared with very few. It was best received by feminist women. My art teacher, as well as Joan, acknowledged it to be a piece of fine art.

It was only viewed by the female students but they were quite intrigued with how it presented a woman in a pleasing way that they had not previously experienced. Two of our gifted art students worked hard to take a piece of their old artwork and seek to use needlepoint as a refining step in developing their pictures.

Both students did a good job after learning various stitches, but Stephanie Mills did an exceptional job and the art instructor would enter her piece in an art competition the following summer for new artists.

Back to now, Dawn and Denise found my thought patterns enjoyable, usually, taking them outside of their boxes in thinking about normal girl stuff. We started to run around more and more as a group, not worrying about boyfriends, knowing the guys would show up when wanted. Denise said, “It is quite freeing not having to worry if it was something a guy would like to do. If he doesn’t like it or want to go it’s not my concern.”

One simple example was going to watch guys play football at one school or another was not a big deal. We could even like how a guy on another team looked.

Dawn and I would often bring out our keyboard and guitar after the band put its stuff away after halftime. Once we played Three Blind Mice after an official blew a call. Since we were not the official band, the Coach was able to find it amusing. After we finally got a call to go the way we played “Amazing Grace”. We did hear on Monday someone thought it was out of line to use a religious song in such away.

It was funny as we found ourselves playing 60s tunes so parents and grandparents could get it. One of our favorites was “Big Girls Don’t Cry” used when an opposing player over-reacted. Once we were asked to refrain and we went into a tune sing the words of a Connie Francis hit, “I’m sorry, so sorry, please accept my apology.” An official had his hand on his flag as we stopped.

Some people said they were now staying for the full game to see what we might play. When we played my old high school I am not sure if the Principal did not recognize my warped sense of humor. While we won the game, I was glad both teams played well.

I was surprised when we ran against them in a three-team cross country meet I finished 14th which was my best time and showing so far in the season. It was the first time I pushed myself through to my second wind. Crest Ridge which had a good team placed four runners and almost a fifth in front of me.

Debbie took me out for pasta or we had it at home the night before a meet. She was pretty good at being a proud parent most whenever she could. Likewise, if I had my homework and papers on time, I enjoyed helping in her research for working up her patients and their ailments. I was now very ethical stayed away from knowing the patients’ identities.

It was four weeks into school and homecoming was coming up in two weeks. Several of us nominated Dawn for Homecoming Queen, and she tried to get me to run as well. While I always liked an excuse to dress up; I didn’t enjoy competing with Dawn. While Dawn should have won in my book, a Senior girl Carly Jackson won and Dawn as runner-up to another Senior girl Tricia. Dawn and I do like the idea of a senior usually being Queen.

I was impressed with the school as Tricia was not a traditional beauty queen, but she was a beautiful person in ways that far out-shown most of us in high school. Stephen who was selected to be in the King’s court was designated to be Tricia’s escort. I did not mind losing a few dances to her, but I ended up losing my boyfriend as they hit it off.

An added bummer was I planned to be a ballerina for the Halloween dance and Stephen was going to be a “Wooden Soldier”. Dawn suggested I ask a guy who graduated last year, who was into dance. I came to know Mason because he was one of Jeff’s invisible boyfriends.

Dawn stayed after me to ask him to the dance which I did, and he agreed. He was nice and buffed and made a good soldier. He insisted I learn a few ballet moves. In case we were selected for our costumes, he wanted us to be able to fit into the character. Debbie’s mom was more than happy to come and help me with moves and to get into character.

I liked Mason plenty and we did date a bit, despite his being gay. He said he liked going around with girls and I knew the feeling. On one date we got quite excited, I felt the need to tell him I planned to remain a virgin a while longer. He mentioned oral sex as well as another way of me having him. He even caught the fact that I was not repulsed at the idea.

We did not talk again about the possibility until the Halloween costume party was over. We did win first prize for costumes in character as well as tied for overall. We went to my home, but Dr. Deb had been called to the hospital as she was again on-call.

I wouldn’t have let him in if I knew beforehand that my sister was gone. But he was in and I had already been turned on during the evening and we were mutual in our interest. I first had him orally hoping that would satisfy us both. But seeing him not only excited the idea of swallowing him but caused me to wonder what it would be like to have him inside my butt.

I called Debbie and I would not be saved by her returning any time soon, as a charge nurse shared she was overwhelmed and would be for a while. I spread a comforter in the living room behind the couch as I pulled him down and undid his zipper. He was a good size guy, but not too big to be very uncomfortable. Dawn rang and text my phone, but I wasn’t going to be distracted and turned it off.

I redid my lipstick before settling over him and first kissing his head. It was exciting to feel the warmth of his head and to feel it swell up and grow hard. My lipstick felt like a sticky cream adding to my enjoyment. Then I took him into my mouth and began to slide down his shaft. Swallowing him was nice and not difficult and after I pulled back once and went down again Mason also got into a rhythm. I was back over his head when I felt him throb and was ready when he burst in excitement. I did not let up and got him to groan and go into an orgasm.

I don’t know if he collapsed or just relaxed and dropped back down as I cleaned him up. I was lying next to him still hot and not more than fifteen minutes when he was getting excited again. I felt his hands come around my hips and after my panties and I scooted my hips up to make it a little easier. Then I began to have second thoughts. We both knew he wasn’t going to enter my vagina but if he was going to have me I wanted to enjoy it as well.

Stephen was all but too happy to please me and warm me up. He was not a stranger to nibbling on a breast or lightly touching the lips of my vagina. He was even somewhat a gentleman as I began to have second thoughts. He was putting some gel on me when I began to pull slightly away and then paused.

“Danica, please either say ‘no’ or get up and walk away, but if you stay I am going in you.” He asked if I would roll over but I spread my legs and raised my butt. I wrapped my legs around him as I felt him come into me. It was as nice as I remembered it as Carl.

This time it would be Mason pulling out away and coming back down that got me into a rhythm. I was pleased as he took his time, letting me enjoy myself and begin to come into orgasm before he started to intensify his thrusts. I could feel the warmth of his cum when I realized I had not taken precautions. It felt too good and it was too late to worry about so I hugged and kissed him as we finished our time together.

It was quite late by the time he left I had cleaned everything up and was in the shower. I was feeling bad both by what we had done and by the fact I had acted more as Carl betraying that I was now Danica. I was restless and still awake when Debbie came home.

I got up and wanted to visit and Debbie was sensitive to the fact something happened, but I could also see she was exhausted. She asked me, “Are you okay? Is it something we need to talk about now or is it something that could wait until I get home tomorrow.”

I told her I was okay and things could wait until tomorrow. I was somewhat relieved and just shared the light stuff as she got ready for bed. She was happy we won one of the costume awards. She shared briefly about her evening having three emergencies, one being a trauma surgery.

I went to bed but did not get to sleep; Debbie woke me back up and said we needed to talk. “Why was this comforter out and now in the laundry,” Debbie asked? “You know you haven’t been back on the pill long enough to protect you?”

“We didn’t have that kind of sex”… I broke into tears. “But I was wrong and I am sorry. It was what I wanted to talk about.” Debbie was upset I had unprotected sex. Instead of grounding me she placed me on what she called a short leash. I would need to be up-front about what I was doing and get permission. “Make sure you don’t hurt yourself or other friends with STDs.”

That Debbie needed to say this; this early was upsetting for both of us. But at least I wasn’t on the run and had someone I could share with. We cuddled and I fell asleep there and woke up as Debbie was getting ready for work. It was her weekend to be in the Clinic. We agreed that the afternoon would be shared time.

I got a phone call about 9:15 a.m. asking to be in the Thanksgiving/Holiday Parade in the next city over. They already had the float but needed to change personalities riding it. They wanted me to do it with Mason with the theme “Even Princesses have dreams”. They had talked to the people at the Jersey Shore Princess contest and received enthusiastic permission.

When I tried to tell them ‘No’ they asked me to think about it and get my mother’s response before I decided. I was sure that Debbie would say ‘No’ so I agreed to talk to her and get back to them. When I opened up the morning paper Mason and I made the news in the area news section.

Denise called and she was on her way over as we were to go out with Dawn and friends. It reminded me I was to be working 10-5 at the Fife and Drum. I hurriedly got ready and went to work. Denise was nice enough to drive me and I shared about the request to be in the Holiday Parade. She was excited for me and told me she and Dawn would be on my case if I didn’t do it.

Joan and Beth at the gift shop had seen the morning paper and said they were glad I remembered to come into work. The seven hours went quickly enough, several women commented on our picture and wonder if it was true I was to be in the Holiday Parade. It didn’t hurt my sales total for the day and I enjoyed the attention.

Debbie called having seen my note; I was to get home and clean up for a dinner out. She did comment that she was asked to get a note from your mother. “Danica, I have invited Myrt to go out to dinner with us, but she decided you should be a ballerina on the ice at Rockefeller Center. So you better scoot home and figure out if any of your ‘Princess’ clothes are right for the Big Apple. You are to pack white tights and a suitable short skirt or mini-dress for skating.”

“Mom, Sis you can’t be serious?”

“Myrt said, ‘She wanted to celebrate my being cleared of misappropriate conduct of a doctor’ and insisted it is an overnight tonight in NYC. She insisted I was being stressed by my Mom/Sis responsibilities and we all needed a time out.”

“Sis, I hope you know how to skate as I am game for trying, but I want someone I trust out on the ice with me.”

“I have been a pretty good skater and I will be happy to give you some pointers. But as you once told me you looked up to Peggy Fleming and skaters since her.” I was tempted to ask if Dawn or Denise could go but realized I did need time with Debbie.

Joan pushed me out the door at 5:00 p.m. and Myrt and Debbie were there to pick me up. Myrt’s husband was driving us into the City so we could talk. He was to go on and visit some of his family overnight, so it would be a woman’s weekend out.

Aunt Myrt had gone online and got a suite near Times Square at a nice discount. Debbie had already packed some of my clothes and stuff. She had my silver mini-dress for skating and my dark blue and silver evening dress for dinner tonight. I had to take a quick shower and shampoo my hair as Myrt would put it up in rollers so we would have my hair ready by the time we would go to eat. Mr. Greene had wisely chosen to drive his spacious Lincoln.

It was not yet 6:00 as we were heading for the city and Debbie handed me her phone and told me to call the Holiday Parade person. I dialed the number but looked at my mother as he answered. “Tell him, yes you will do it.”

“This is Danica and you called me this morning about the Holiday Parade and being on one of the floats. My sister and guardian said yes I can do it. I can’t talk much right now, but Debbie wanted me to call and let you know my answer…” “Yes, I remember you said I might want to change my mind. Do you think my being crowned the Jersey Shore Princess makes me a person of any interest?”

“We asked that question two weeks ago and you were already on our shortlist with requests coming from the public when several of us saw your photo in this morning’s paper. ” “Ouch” Myrt tugged my hair as she combed and rolled it as we traveled. Mr. Law hung up and I looked at Debbie, not believing what was happening.

“We won’t get into that now, but you can assume I both love you and will hold you responsible for becoming the young woman I think you seek to be.” We were now going through one of the tunnels and to come out near the Port Authority building, a bit south and west of Times Square. Myrt put a beautiful scarf around my head as we were ready to get out and go into the Hilton.

Sis smiled at Dr. Myrt, “Only my sister can make such an entrance to the Hilton at Times Square.”

Myrt called to the Porters, “Can you bring up the luggage and have someone meet us at 2711 with the keys; I don’t want my God-daughter on display in the line to register.” It wasn’t a question, though as Dr. Myrt shared later she was trying to act like someone she wasn’t and see if she got away with it, which she did. We waited a few minutes but everything got there and I was shown to a modest but nice Princess bedroom. She gave the Porters a nice $50 tip.

The woman who brought up the keys showed me to my room and asked if I was indeed the Princess of the Jersey Shore. “There were three such contests but ours was the biggest and out shown the others,” I said.

“Your 8:30 reservation at the Hard Rock Café has been confirmed and they would like to know if you would grace them with 2-3 songs after your dinner? Either way will be okay with them, but if you would inform me by 8:00 they would be appreciative.”

“Would someone have a guitar I could use as I am not a classical singer and having an instrument might help me relax?” She agreed to pass along the information and hoped we would each get back to the other. Debbie heard the last part of the conversation and thought it would be a cool experience.

“Sis, what if someone famous is there and there I’ll just like an opening act and make a spectacle of myself? And what if their set up will it be like a piano bar or karaoke.”

“You will look good once Myrt brushes you out and you do your make-up to suit you. I believe this Cafe and one in London have a little theatre. Let’s not take my word on it, we will find out.” She gave me a hug and Aunt Myrt had a blower, brush, and comb for my hair. I was happy to do my make-up so it looked like me and not like someone Sis or Myrt’s age.

I called Angie at the desk in plenty of time. I confirmed my intentions and my request for a guitar and stated they had a small theatre as Debbie thought. She stopped by with a corsage courtesy of the Hilton and complimented how I looked. She asked me what I planned to sing.

“I am sure, ‘I Feel Like a Woman’, would be one.”

Angie broke in, “Do you know older rock-n-roll like Fleetwood Mac; I could picture you sounding like Christie McVie and singing ‘Don’t Stop’ or ‘Over My Head’.”

Sis busted out laughing and said, “You’re right she does and if they have the words and music she could do it.”

“Sis, you might be literally putting me in over my head. ‘Don Stop’ would be easier, but ‘Over my Head’ would sound nicer if I can pull it off.”

Angie shared, “I asked the Hard Rock to give me a 5-minute call before you sing. They said a guy named Tony from the Patriots overheard you might be there. He was calling some friends to stop over as they knew you. Do you know Tony on the Patriots?”

“It’s not the football team but a minor league baseball team in Jersey, and yes, Tony’s a great guy.”

I was getting nervous by the time we got there and Sage was our waiter, which I was told was good. He took us past the line with a smile knowing others were wondering if we had a reservation or were someone they should know.

“Princess Danica, it is nice to serve you and the others.”

I retorted, “My Sister and Dr. Myrt are the famous ones they save lives.” Sage smiled and suggested I share that with the crowd as I settle in to sing. The meal came and was eaten all too fast though I was assured it was just my nervousness.

The MC announced, “While we do have some noted guests tonight we are only sure of one other who will sing. We are going you start with a young woman who rocked the Jersey Shore to become Princess of the Jersey Shore 2012, Miss Danica Walters.”

The guitar was nice and a good fit for me, but as I took time to get a feel for it and the mic, I mentioned about my Sister Debbie as being the ones who save lives. I started with ‘I Feel like a Woman’ to get comfortable and then asked if there were any fans of the Fleetwood Mac women. “I won’t do Christine McVie justice but here goes it goes in ‘Over My Head’.” There is a time one hits it despite one’s self and tonight was it. I did well and the crowd got into it as well. My piano accompanist winked and we went back and did the closing verse.

I felt bad when I heard Stevie Nicks was one of the people in the audience. She would later sing and said, “While Christie and I are measured over against each other quite often we both made contributions to Fleetwood Mac and she was the one who first got the group on the charts.” Stevie said if I had stayed around we could jam to ‘Don’t Stop’ which brought applause from the audience.

Myrt insisted the weekend was for me and my Sister and I jammed for only that song. I was up by 7:00 which was early enough and we ate up in the suite. The Post and the Times social section made a short note of my singing at the Hard Rock Café. The most notable quote was “if she could do this well with songs for others, someone should give her a song to try on her own.” Another said, “The Jersey Shore will do better represented by her.” The morning air was crisp as we were down on the rink. Debbie had given me a special pair of panties to wear over my tights. We rented a nicely polished pair of white skates for each of us and I was given some leggings to put on as well.

Carl was not a skater as hard as I tried and wanted to be, but it came easier for Danica, especially with Debbie’s guidance. Debbie to me was Peggy Fleming down to the dark hair and fine features. Bicycling gave her strength and grace just seemed natural. I was happy to be skating with her. I managed to stretch out on one skate and two nice spins. Yes with my silver mini-dress my white frilled panties stood out.

The rest of the morning and day was relaxing, shopping therapy. Most of it window shopping but Aunt Myrt loved spoiling her prize surgeon and a niece. Mr. Greene had a big grin on his face as we drove back and we talked non-stop and pictures I did not know of from the trip were shared…

To Be Continued…

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My heart and prayers to those along the Jersey shore and NYC affected by Sandy. I was there to help for twenty days.