The Homestead - Book 1 - Part 1
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Chapter 1
I rested comfortably, my boots propped lazily upon the split railing that ran along the sidewalk, and my hat pushed down low over my eyes to block out the afternoon sun. Beside me argued my grandfather and Mr. Williams, the barber, their grumbling broken often by their laughter, all for the love of checkers. Every now and then, a buckboard would rattle by, a horse would neigh and you might pick up a passing conversation as people would move about.
From across the street, I could hear the blacksmith's hammer ping out the rhythm as he beat against a glowing red horseshoe, then to be swallowed under the hissing and bubbling in an instant, as it was dropped into a bucket of water. Far off, down the street, I could just make out the lilting piano sound as Mrs. Corduroy was practicing for Sunday's service, a light rendition of Blessed Assurance which happened to be one of my favorite hymns.
The tune filtered through my addled mind and I found myself humming quietly, while Mr. Williams and my grandfather were continuing their game. From a distance I could hear someone walking toward us, yet I remained in my lazy state, boots still supported on the rail. As the person approached, the steps grew louder. Without looking, I was trying to discern whether they were male or female by their step. From the trod I was hearing, I was relatively certain it was male, but by the weight I assumed it was but a boy or small man.
I pushed my hat back and glanced up as the person neared, slowly pulling my feet down to allow him or her to pass. The person did not, instead turned and headed into my grandfather's store. I glanced at Grandfather and slowly rose to my feet.
I stood and stretched, patting my grandfather on his shoulder and yawned. "Stay at your game, I'll see what I can do for him." Grandfather nodded and then jumped his opponent's checker, placing it into a small pile on the table. I walked into the store, taking my apron down from the nail and replacing it with my hat. I moved over to the counter and slipped behind it while the fellow studied several tins on a shelf.
I wanted to appear busy, so I began to shelve the new bolts of material that we had received only yesterday. From time to time I would glance toward the man, with his back to me. He was intently studying the labels of the cans he had been sorting, making it appear that he were reading each colorful label. This surprised me since most of the people I've been privileged to know were unable to read at all. He was wearing baggy bib overhauls, an off-white button down shirt and over-sized boots. On his head, he had a wedge type hat made of tweed, also, much too big for his head.
It was then that I realized that this was no man at all, but rather a child. A boy most likely picking something up for his mother, and It was pretty plain to me that the lad was from a poor family, because his outfit was nothing more than a 'hand me down' from his father.
If I were to guess his age, I would assume that he was younger, perhaps 15 or 16 years old. I moved aside some of the bolts of cloth, making room for the few cans that he had chosen. He sat them down and returned to shopping.
"Will you need a box for your items?" I asked. He said nothing, leaving me unsure whether he heard me at all. I shrugged and continued with my shelving the material bolts, all the while watching the boy and wondering why he was acting so strangely.
Again he returned with a few more cans, and set them down. When he started toward another section of our shop, I tapped his hand and repeated myself, "Will you need something to put your items into?"
He glanced at me briefly, then shrugged and nodded. I quickly walked into the back room and picked up an old vegetable crate, and carried it back to the counter. One by one, I carefully placed the tins into the crate, and I made a tally on paper of what was being chosen.
He carried another four tins to the front and set them down, and I added them onto his growing list. He pointed to the bags of flour, holding up five fingers. "Five bags or five pounds?" I asked, wondering if the boy could speak at all.
He frowned and pointed at the paper under my hand, I spun it for him and using my pencil, scrawled 'pounds' down. I nodded and began to fill a bag and measuring it out for him.
Briefly, our eyes met. In that one instance I knew that this couldn't be a boy at all! If he were a boy, he was very effeminate! His nose was slender and straight, and his eyes were much larger than my own. His honey blonde hair was cropped, yet hung down just past his ears, almost like he himself had trimmed his own hair with scissors. He possessed long curved eyelashes and arched eyebrows. He tapped the counter, I again looked up into his large brown eyes.
He pointed to a small sign behind me, it was an advertisement for our own bacon. I smiled, "You want bacon?" To which he nodded. "How much?" I asked.
He held out three slender fingers. His fingers were long and dainty, upon each one was an elongated nail. "Surely, no male could possess hands like this imposter!" I thought.
I carefully weighed the cured bacon and wrapped it into a brown paper, the hickory smell was making my stomach growl. "Will that be everything?"
The boy nodded and pointed to the list, I quickly added up his tally. "That'll be three dollars." While I waited, the boy dug into his pocket and placed several coins onto the counter.
He placed his arms around the crate and began to slide it off the counter, I cringed because I was afraid it would be much too heavy for the boy. I guessed correctly as he almost dropped it twice before I ran around and took it from him.
"It's a slow day, I can take it out to your folks' place and save you the walk." He shrugged his answer and followed me to my grandfather's buggy.
As we passed the checker combatants, Grandfather suddenly looked up. "Where you off to, Quin?" I paused and rested the heavy box on the rail.
"The box is too heavy for the boy to carry back to his farm, so I'm going to deliver it for them." Grandfather waved his hand into the air, and I continued to the buggy carrying the crate of groceries.
I jumped up quickly and took the reins into my hands, and the boy scrambled up beside me. As soon as he was seated, we took off with a swift snap of the reins. "Which way?" I asked. His response was a slender finger pointing north, and I guided the horse into that general direction away from town. We rode in silence for almost a mile. Finally, when I could stand the quiet no longer, I looked at him.
"You sure don't talk much," I quipped, studying his small ears and the slenderness of his neck. He shrugged, making a face that caused me to scowl. "Well, can you talk?"
I heard him clear his voice, the pitch was high enough that I believed that if this were a boy, he hadn't started puberty. "I can talk," was all he said. "Just don't have anything to say."
"Been living in the area long?" I asked, trying to draw him into some sort of conversation that would pass the time.
"Not long," he spoke deeply, as if he were trying to sound more manly. I smiled and looked away to hide my grin.
"I have a place near the Round Rock Basin...well, it's actually my grandfather's, but it'll be mine someday." I added, "You living in that direction?"
He only shrugged and pointed toward a road that ran to our right, and I eased the horse down the narrow lane. "Yeah, this is direction I would take to go to my grandfather's old homestead." He said nothing, but his silence was beginning to unnerve me.
"Not far from his place is a lake, and I go there sometimes to do a little fishing. You ever been at the lake?" I asked.
"I know of it." He again reminded me of a boy trying to sound like a man.
About five miles from town he pointed toward another lane, "Turn here." I gave him a curious look, but said nothing. The lane he directed me toward, was the same one that led to my grandfather's old homestead.
"Our farm's just ahead," he said as the buggy rolled along.
As we neared my grandfather's home, my mind reeled. I wasn't sure if I should say anything to the boy or confront his parents directly, for they were trespassing upon my grandfather's land! I decided to remain quiet for the time being, letting it all play out before I chased them away.
The house looked much like I remembered, having only been up here a few times since I came to live with Grandfather in town. I pulled the horse to a stop and set the brake. The boy, instead of jumping down as I would have done, eased himself to the ground, using the little step plate to bridge the distance from the buggy to the ground.
I walked to the back of the buggy and untied the crate. "I can get it," he said softly.
"That's okay, I'll carry it inside, I've brought it this far." Again he shrugged and followed me toward the house, looking suspicious as if he were hiding something from me.
"Uh...Mom?" he called out. "MOM?" We stood quietly and listened, nothing was moving aside from my horse. "Uh...she must be down at the lake or something."
Now it was my turn to do a slow nod. It was more then evident that there were no other souls on the property than the two of us. "Perhaps she's in the barn?" I smiled and suggested.
"Could be," he sighed, as I sat the crate down upon the porch.
I scanned the entire farm; there weren't any animals to be seen. No chickens, pigs, cows, horses, dogs or cats could be seen. Nothing you would assume to find on a 'working' farm. This kid was trying to buffalo me into thinking that he was with his parents! Still, I didn't let on that I suspected something was fishy.
Following him to the barn, I almost laughed aloud when he shouted into the loft, "MOM?" Clearly, he was trying to make his voice sound deeper than it could possibly ever be. As we waited for his mother to respond, I looked all around the empty stalls, but there was no trace of straw to be found in the amounts that would be expected on a farm. No, this boy was lying, of that I was sure!
We left and headed back to the house. He waited for me to pick up the crate and held the door as I passed. I walked into the dark house and sat it down on the table. In the corner lay a dress, hanging over the back of a chair.
"Your mother's?" I asked, pointing.
His face flushed, then he nodded rather too quickly. I frowned, this was the first actual evidence that there might be another person somewhere on my grandfather's farm. Still I said nothing, why would I care if this little vagabond and his mother were using the house to sleep? I walked outside and he followed, shutting the door quietly behind himself.
"Uh...thanks for the lift," he pointed weakly toward the buggy.
I smiled, "No problem, glad to help." I took about three steps and paused, turning back toward the boy. "Hey, if I see you around town...what should I call you?"
He looked down at the dusty ground, "Sam...you can call me Sam."
"Okay, Sam, you may call me Quin." I stuck out my big paw and shook his diminutive hand, it felt so small in my own, almost like that of a girl's. His grip was weak, most unlike a teenage boy who would have grown up around farms.
I climbed up on the buggy and smiled, bent down low and gathered up the long reins into my hands, then with a quick snap, quickly rolled away.
Chapter 2
For almost three days I had remained silent to Grandfather about the boy and his mother living on his farm. I wanted to make sure that they were still there before I said anything to my grandfather at all.
It was a Saturday and we closed up the shop around six in the evening. I left Grandfather reading at his office desk, and headed down the stairs to the store. "Where you off to?" He called from his office. I paused and stuck my head into his room.
"Going to try catching us some crappie fish at the lake." He nodded and sadly waved me on, because he knew that he was too old to walk down the lane to the water's edge with me anymore.
Behind me as I bounded down the stairs I heard the familiar treading of Grandfather's old dog, Gypsy, a Husky mix. I patted her on the head as she pushed past me, but her arrival caused me to pause at the bottom of the long stairs.
"Grandfather?" I raised my voice.
"Yes, Quin?" he replied without coming into view.
"Will it be okay to take Gypsy along?" I glanced back at her as she stood waging her tail at the door. "She really likes going out there with me."
He was quiet for a moment. "I don't care. But, if you remember, the last time you took her, she had gotten into some stagnant water somewhere and smelled like rotten fish for almost a week!"
"I'll keep an eye on her!" I smiled, and Gypsy began to dance as if she knew she would be going along.
"All right. Good luck!" he called aloud as I opened the door for Gypsy. I grabbed my fishing supplies on the way out, and headed toward his buggy.
Leaving the buggy behind, the horse gently munching on the thick grass by the road, I crossed the grassy meadow and headed down toward the small lake. The full moon was reflecting brightly on the ground and casting shadows as if it were midday. I called softly to Gypsy as she had wandered into one of the darkest shadows, and she responded by quickly returning to my side. "Good girl." I touched her thick fur, more to reassure me of her nearness in the darkness, than of anything.
The crickets were chirping, and their huge volume drowned the subtle walking of both Gypsy and me. Far ahead, a great bullfrog croaked his call, "BHAOW...BHAOW!" I gingerly eased down a small hill to the water's edge, there I laid my fishing pole and box down, setting the small kerosene lantern beside them. I hooked a small piece of chicken liver onto the great barbed hook and flipped it out into the still water of the lake, tiny ringlets of waves drifted slowly back toward me as I took my regular position in the lush grass that grew at the water's edge.
Simultaneously, while watching as my bobber dimly floated out in the shadows, I dug deep into my jeans to retrieve a match for the lantern. I struck it against a large rock and lit the tired wick with the flame. To my left, Gypsy was standing with her front paws in the dark water, drinking its coolness and enjoying this moment with me. Her great lapping sounds, causing even the crickets to grow quiet. "Shhhhh girl, you're gonna scare everything away."
She raised her head and looked at me, water dripping from her muzzle as she slightly tipped her head and caused me to laugh. I settled back into the grass and looked upward. The stars spread across the heavens in one great twinkling blanket, and Gypsy settled down by my side. I laid my pole across my legs and sought out the bobber; it was still floating unnoticed by the fish that I was after. The moon's image brightly shone against the mirror like surface of the lake, with only a slight breeze disturbing its full reflection.
I let my mind wander to the strange boy that had been roosting in my grandfather's old homestead. Wondering to myself whether he was still hiding up there, or had decided to move on. I momentarily thought of sneaking up there and seeing if he I could scare him, but it would be my luck that he had a gun and end up shooting me instead. I did want to know if he was still hiding out, but I figured that I could give him a few more days before paying him a visit.
Lazily, Gypsy rose up and stretched. Seemingly bored, she moved off into the tall grass, heading away in her usual nightly adventure. "You stay out of the stagnant water!" I whispered after her, then laughed. Against the faint yellow glow from my lantern I continued to study the bobber that was tethered to the string on my pole, and it bounced ever so slightly.
I sat up slowly, the pole ready in my hands. Again it bobbed, only moving down a fraction of an inch, but still noticeable. I slowly drew some of the slackened string in, and waited. The bobber rose slightly in the water, little tiny circles distorting the moon's reflection. I straightened my arms and held them steady, as the red and white sphere floating on the lake began to move very slowly toward the left. The more it moved, the quicker it became, then suddenly it sank, disappearing in a audible 'sploop' of sound.
I quickly pulled back on the pole, setting the hook on my slippery victim. It only broke the surface slightly, but I was sure of what I had as soon as I caught sight of the black side and slightly yellow belly. One hard smack of its thick tail and the catfish drove straight toward the bottom of the lake. My experience told me it would try and lose the hook somewhere in the thick tangle of limbs near the edge. I reeled quickly and turned it short of its escape, Gypsy returned and ran along the bank barking into the water as if telling the fish to give up struggling.
Slowly, after a few short minutes, I was able to pull it to the edge, drag it to the grass and slowly slid my hand up its slippery back, avoiding the great horns on its fins. The large fish gaped with its mouth as I slowly worked the hook from the rubber-like skin of its jaw. Gingerly I carried it toward my tackle box, I opened it up and drew out the long cord and secured my catch on the line. I dropped the catfish back into the water and tied the cord to a stick that I had shoved into the soft earth near the water's edge. "It isn't Crappie, but at least it's something," I sighed, then examined my hook and once satisfied that I wouldn't need to bait it again, I tossed it back into the shimmering water.
Suddenly, far down the shoreline to my right, came a loud splash! I was certain it was a fish, but the huge sound unnerved me greatly. I sought out Gypsy, and she was also studying the direction where the splash came from. Without a glance at me, Gypsy began to slowly drift around the lake until I could see her no more. All around me began a great chorus of spring peepers and bullfrogs called out to their mates. Intermingled with them were the crickets, and owls that had made their home near the lake. I felt a chill wash down my spine as I slowly raised my lantern up and whistled for Gypsy.
"Come here, girl!" I softly called. My voice echoing against the backdrop of large old trees that grew along the lakes banks. Behind me a stick broke, and I wheeled and stared into the blackness beyond my light's reach. "Gypsy?" I whispered, hoping beyond hope that she had doubled back behind me. Again a small stick broke, and I held the lantern up higher. Suddenly two glowing eyes danced into the reflection of my lantern; they were steady and watchful. I could feel sweat bead my lip as I softly prayed that it was Grandfather's dog that I was seeing. Again, behind me in the lake a fish jumped...or, at least, I hoped it was a fish. I quickly glanced over my shoulder, when I again peered back toward the eyes they had moved closer. Now they were slowly moving toward me.
I looked around me for any weapon, but the only thing close at hand was the lantern that I held. I tightened my grip on it and waited, hoping to see the familiar face of the Husky. I felt my heart jump as the shaggy body of Grandfather's dog bounded into the light. She was wet from her chest down, covered in a thin layer of duck weed. I patted her on the head and handed her a small piece of the chicken liver that I was using for bait, she curled into the thick grass and laid her head upon her front paws. I sat the lantern back on the ground and resumed fishing.
For another two hours I fished, and close by lay Gypsy. The only sounds to my ears were the steady croaking of the great multitude of frogs backed by the constant hum of the chirping crickets. Occasionally a solo insect would drift past my ear, which I would chase away with a quick movement of my hand. I bent over my pocket watch and studied the hands, it was slowly approaching 11:00 p.m.. I glanced at the line that held my catch, I only had three fish to show for my efforts, a catfish and two crappies. I sighed, and began to reel in my bobber. "How about it girl, do you want to go on home?" She sat up and thumped her curved tail against the grass, as if telling me that she was ready. I flipped the liver that I had on my hook far out into the water, it no sooner hit and was engulfed in a great splash. "Sure, now you want it!" I groaned at the ripples left by the sudden strike.
I lifted up the lantern and blew out the glowing flame, there was plenty of moonlight to see without wasting my fuel any more than I needed to. I gathered my pole and box in one hand, the lantern in the other and followed Gypsy as she led the way up the hill toward the meadow. We paused at the top, behind us somewhere, another great splash echoed into the night. I turned to scan the shoreline, nothing seemed to be moving.
Suddenly, Gypsy's ears perked up and she turned her head. "What is it, girl?" I whispered. I began to listen more closely to the night sounds, and a barely audible sound came to my ears. It almost sounded like a frightened sob, so I began to quickly walk in that direction, beside me loped the dog.
I found the path that led down to the water from this point and took it, now at almost a dead run. Up ahead was another stifled cry, someone had fallen into the water and was in the process of drowning. From the sounds made by their thrashing, I could tell they were getting weak.
As the dog and I broke through the cover of trees, the moonlight bathed the entire scene before our eyes. It only took a moment for me to take everything in, a broken log, and thick moss laying on the surface. Someone had fallen into the water and was being pulled under by the moss as it enveloped them while they struggled! I was only half right, they had been able to move away from the moss, only they had it wound around them and were frantically trying to get it off and keep from sinking under the surface of the water!
Gypsy raced along the edge of the shoreline, barking furiously, I threw aside my pole, stringer and box, and quickly raced down a fallen tree that this person had tumbled from. My speed and momentum carried my dive well beyond the mossy vegetation, and I struck out for the hapless victim.
As I reached the victim's side I moved behind them and with my free hand, began to strip away the thick moss that had bound around their body. In moments, I had the moss removed and was gently guiding her toward the shore and away from the moss.
I say 'her' because in my efforts to remove the mossy bindings, my hand slipped across a very feminine bosom! And twice as I swam her to shore, I was forced to brush against areas that could only belong to a female! The girl was exhausted, her breathing was labored and gasping. She was weak and wouldn't have survived her predicament had I not been there to help her.
I pulled her onto a sandy spot where I could gather her into my arms and climb to dry land, Her head was hanging limply as I laid her in the grass along the bank. I could tell that she was breathing by the rise and fall of her naked chest, it was a wonder knowing how close she came to drowning.
In the moonlight, I could see the soft shape of this girl's beautiful form. Her long, slender legs, the swell of her hips, the dark patch of her feminine secret, the thin tapered waist, the round swell of her soft flesh adorned with the dark silver-dollar sized nipples. As my eyes drank in this young beauty's body, I glance up to her face, then felt my heart leap into my throat. The short honey blonde hair, the narrow face...it was Sam!
I began to search out where we were from the buggy, it wasn't too far from the spot where she was laying...perhaps only a few hundred yards. I gathered her small frame in my strong arms, and began walking toward where I left it in the meadow, behind me trotted Gypsy.
As I broke into the meadow, I spotted the silhouette of the rig, quickly carrying her to the back I placed her down as gently as I could. I couldn't believe my eyes as the girl appeared to be resting quietly, the soft moonlight dappling the dark leaves across her naked, wet body creating light and dark patches from their shadows. Hidden among the shadows, was the outline of her beautiful form. I swallowed hard.
We were on our way almost as soon as I settled into the seat, racing through the night, back toward the ancient farm buildings of my grandfather's homestead, where I could place her into a soft bed to recuperate. Within minutes, I was pulling the buggy up beside the house. I gathered her up in my arms and quickly rushed her to the door and pushed it open. I carried her back to the bedroom and laid her on a bed, where she remained out the entire time.
As I began to draw up the cover to hide the poor girl's nakedness, I hesitated, and let my young eyes drink in her soft form. The reaction from my body was almost too much to take, I let the cover drop and silently gave a slow exhale.
I took a few minutes once I had her settle d in the warm bed, and returned to the lake. Once down the path I had just exited I began my search, finally, after a few minutes of scrounging, I retrieved my catch, pole, and box and returned back to the stricken girl.
Chapter 3
I removed my wet clothes and hung them beside the stove, then returned to her bedside and watched her sleeping for most of the night, sometime though, I too fell asleep. By morning I sat up and stretched, glancing across from me she lay, still asleep, one breast was uncovered, exposed to the ravages of my lustful eyes.
I quickly pulled on my jeans, adjusted my twitching crotch, and stood, sighing longingly for her. I leaned forward, tempted to reach out and caress her youthful orb, but knowing that a violation like that would be well outside the boundary of what I considered gentlemanly. Instead, I pulled the covers up and hid the exposed flesh from my enraptured view.
I retreated outside rather quickly, trying to remove the wondrous image that was creating the sexual discomfort that I found myself in. I gathered a few sticks and carried them back inside, stacking them beside the stove. I felt I was being watched and slowly turned, Sam was standing in the doorway, wrapped in the sheet from the bed and looking extremely beautiful.
"H...how did I get here?" she asked.
I adverted my eyes, I could see her feminine shape right through the sheet. "I was fishing at the lake last night...and heard you fall in. It took awhile to get you out but, once I did, I brought you back here."
"You saved me?" she asked. "I was sure I would drown."
"You almost did," I replied, pushing some sticks into the glowing coals of the fire that I had just lit.
"You...you saw me naked?" she asked, her embarrassment evident.
"You were naked when I pulled you from the water," I replied.
"I...I was bathing." She dropped her eyes to the floor. "Did you find my clothes?"
I looked up at her, "I didn't see any, but I really didn't look for any when I was bringing you up here to the house either." After placing a larger log into the burning kindling, I stood up and faced her. "Why are you dressing like a boy, when clearly you are a very pretty girl?"
She glanced at the board planking on the floor, "I wasn't always that way," she sighed. "Once, I was as male as you."
I frowned, not quite understanding what she was saying. "I find that hard to believe, when the girl I'm looking at, is as female as I am male."
"Perhaps now, but once..." she frowned. "Maybe it would be easier if I would start at the beginning...my beginning."
I sat quietly as she narrated her strange story, I let her go, hoping that what she would divulge might help me in finding more information about her and filling in the gaps that were left unanswered. She took a deep breath and settled into a rocking chair, I leaned against the wall as she spoke, her voice sounding soft and feminine to my ears.
The words began, rolling effortlessly from her perfect lips. As if I were in a trance I listened, each word held upon her breath like a spring wind upon a birds wing. I wasn't going anywhere soon, not until I heard her story...
Chapter 4
*I climbed up into the stagecoach and took my seat, next to the man who removed me from the orphanage. At sixteen, I assumed that I was to be trained in some type of apprenticeship program. I exhaled slowly, happy to see the big building slowly falling behind the dust of our coach on that bright, sunny morning.
For almost ten minutes we rode along, and I studied the strange man with the greasy, slicked back hair as he was going through a case on his lap. Finally he reached across and locked the doors to our coach, then settled back to continue riding.
Since he appeared quite nervous, I said nothing. Why should I care if he feared for his own safety? For three hours we bounced along that dusty road, not a word was exchanged as we rolled along. As we climbed higher, our scenery began to change. Gone was the dusty prairie, now trees lined the sides of the road, and occasionally I could see towering pines as their base spread far out.
With a great banging jar, I sat up awake. I had fallen asleep. I glanced outside as our coach had continued on toward its unknown destination, carrying the strange man and me with it. I leaned toward the window; all around me was a great wooded forest, only the path we were on broke up the lush green surroundings. I looked upward at the sun, it appeared to be close to noon by now.
I glanced at the door, somehow the inside handle had fallen off. A quick look at the opposite door revealed the same fate, the handles had both fallen...or perhaps they had been removed. My eyes darted toward the greasy man, and I saw that the great barrel of a revolver was pointed directly at me! "I hope you had a nice nap!"
I swallowed hard, in each visible chamber I could see the bluish gray tips of each bullet. "I...I don't understand," I stammered.
He smiled evilly., "You will," he said with a quick wave of the gun, "Remove your clothes."
"Like hell I will!" I spat back, suddenly feeling pretty cocky as the stage rolled to a stop.
With a deafening silence, only the horses whinnying outside this tiny prison could be heard. He scowled, "Undress."
"Go to hell!" I shouted defiantly.
His movement was a blur, I felt the butt end of his revolver strike me hard on the head. "Fool kid, I'll teach you some manners real soon!"
I sat holding my head, a small droplet of blood rolled down my arm and stained my shirtsleeve. I winced under the pain he had inflicted.
"You aren't going anywhere! Now undress!" he growled, thumbing the hammer back on the big Colt. The sound brought my ears to attention.
"You wouldn't shoot me..." I whispered hoarsely. "Why are you doing this to me? You know I don't have any money!"
Suddenly the great weapon in his hand roared, and it filled the cabin of the coach with an acrid smoke. I flinched and held my ear nearest the gun. He didn't shoot me, but he was making a very blatant point. "Next one won't be so far to the right...now, off with them clothes."
With a trembling hand, I began to remove my clothing. Soon I was seated, wearing only my long underwear. "Keep going," he motioned with the revolver, indicating what I still was wearing. "All of it!"
Slowly I removed that too, he pointed to the small pile of what I had been wearing. "Pick the pile up...easy like." I kept my eye trained on him and bent down, entirely naked I gathered my belongings in my arms. Slowly he pushed the barrel into my temple, "Throw it outside."
"The doors are locked." I whispered under the cold steel so near my face.
He quickly hung the handle back on and threw aside the door, "Throw it outside!" I did as he bade and tossed it through the small doorway. For a split second I contemplated throwing myself out as well. "Don't even think of it, you'd be dead before your feet even touched the ground." He gave a short laugh and pushed the gun against my head, "Close it, then sit down!"
Again a loud bang broke the silence of the coach's cabin, through the smoke I could see him tighten his jaw. I touched the tip of my ear, a small trickle of blood began to trail down my neck. "If I really wanted to...you'd already be dead!"
"You shot me!" I screamed in anger, holding my burning ear in pain.
"The next one will be dead on...put on the items in this box!" he growled, gesturing down quickly with the smoking revolver's barrel, as he pushed the box forward with the toe of his boot.
I slowly bent down and pulled the material onto the bench I was seated upon, beneath it were more items. "These are all women's clothes!" I frowned as I placed each one next to me.
"That's right!" he laughed, "Now dress!" He smiled as I held up a strange white item. "It's a woman's underthings. Put them on." It was light and lacy across the front, it fell down to my waist and would have probably fallen further had I been standing. "Put those on...NOW!" I lifted up a thin item that looked like pants made of a light lace, however, at the bottom it was ringed with several rows of thin ruffles.
I slowly pulled it up my leg, letting go at my waist. The great ruffled legs ran almost to my ankle. "Now that." He pointed to a strange looking item that had a string running, zigzag along one side. "Put the laces in the back." I hesitated, "Do it now!"
"Over the rest of this stuff?" I asked, he pointed his gun toward my face, I quickly relented and pulled it on. I frowned as it settled at my waist, one end was high and almost covered my chest, the bottom ended right at my hips. At regular intervals around the middle, great whale bones were inserted. "What the heck am I supposed to do with the strings on the back?"
"Draw them and tie it off as best as you can!" He laughed as I struggled with the long strings. I felt like a fool wearing these clothes, and he knew it.
"Why are you making me wear this stuff?" I asked, finally tying the string at the bottom. "I don't get it!" I complained, looking down at the strange garments he was having me don on.
I sat back and watched the man, he smiled and pointed to the shoes still laying in the box. I shot him an angry glare and picked them up, they had a flat sole with a very low heel. The shoes were a dark black and still quite shiny. I slowly pulled one on my foot, wincing in pain at the discomfort of trying to wear smaller shoes than I was used to.
"Now the petticoat." He laughed, as I fought to find the opening under all of the swirling white material. "Don't forget the other one." He indicated toward an extra petticoat that had fallen on the floor, "You're going to wear two."
"Why am I wearing any at all?" I complained as I again fought with the second item. As it settled at my waist, I could see a wide strip of lace running in two rows at their bottom, between the rows was a thin ribbon of blue. "What are you planning to do with me? Why are you dressing me like this?" I asked again, touching my aching ear, now dry with blood.
He gave a short laugh, "You'll see in a moment." He nodded at the long blue dress, "Put it on!" I slowly pulled it over my head, material rustling past my ear and sounding like I was standing under a great waterfall. As it settled down, I couldn't help but to be amazed at my looks! If it weren't for the lack of a figure, breasts and the hair...I would look just like a woman! I pulled at the light blue calico material until it fell to its full length, at my ankle. The two layers of petticoats made the dress look full and puffy on me, I sighed and glanced up quickly.
As I did, he threw a small cloth at me. It was a bonnet. I held it until he again aimed the revolver barrel at my head, so without a word I put it on my head and tied it beneath my chin loosely. "Okay...you satisfied? Now what?" I asked, "I think you have some explaining to do."
He laid the revolver on his lap and reached up into his breast pocket. "I run a tavern in a small town called Cold Forks. It's about a hundred or so miles from here." He looked out the window at the passing forest, "Once we get down the hills further and out of these woods, you will understand fully of what I have planned for you."
"I want to know right now!" I glanced quickly at the revolver, wondering if I had enough time to snatch it from his lap.
"If you insist." He opened a small box that he had pulled from his pocket, with great care he lifted out a long chain. Suspended from the end was a dull medal with a spinning cherub embossed on its surface. "This is called 'The Medallion of Zulo'."
I shrugged my indifference, again glancing quickly from the chain to the Colt. He held it out, away from his body, his eyes following the little spinning medal. "What's that got to do with me all trussed up like a Christmas Turkey?"
"This is a very special little necklace, it will transform the wearer into whomever it had touched last." As the words he had spoken sunk in, I laughed. "Oh don't be so quick to laugh, my last little employee found out the hard way that its magic is VERY complete!"
"Last?" I asked. "Then you've done this before?"
He snickered, "I found it by accident, as well as what it could do. Being an enterprising soul, I used it to make me a great deal of money." He glanced quickly at me, "The last girl was a fool, she couldn't handle the changes and threw herself in front of a wagon. But not before she made me quite a tidy little sum of money."
"This girl you're speaking of...she sold herself for money?" I asked, slowly easing myself closer to the revolver. "You forced her to doing this?"
Again he laughed, "She didn't seem to mind too much, until she found that she was with child." He smiled, "I guess she wasn't sure that Cold Forks was a proper place to bring up an infant."
"You're an asshole!" I hissed, "Why not just get a girl to work for you? Seems like there should be plenty of them around that like that sort of thing!"
"Perhaps, but it gives me a thrill to see a transformation happen...and then take advantage of it when it does!" He laughed again, slowly swinging the chain beneath his clutched right fist.
"You're insane!" I shouted, quickly lunging at the revolver. His hand dropped covering the barrel with his left palm, I tugged but was unable to free it from his grasp, instead I threw myself against the door of the coach. It broke free, sending me sprawling down a slight embankment that bordered the dusty little road. As soon as I rolled to a stop I stood up, the coach had turned and begun racing back to where I had jumped.
In horror I watched as the coach bore down the road toward me, with the strange man leaning out an open door brandishing his revolver! I desperately spun and raced down the hill, hoping to lose him among the tall trees and grasses. He fired a shot which bore deep inside the bark of a tree near my head, it sprayed the side of my face with the splintered wood. I slipped behind the great bole of a tree, trying to catch my fading breath.
I quickly glanced over my shoulder, heart racing from fear as the man and driver scrambled down the hill behind me. I spun and dashed headlong through the brush, again a shot rang out, the high whine split the air as the bullet buried deep into the ground only a few feet away.
I raced through the trees, my feet carrying me like a frightened deer down a dirty little path that followed a small stream. Again a bullet struck the water that I had been running past, so I doubled my efforts to put them far behind me as I ran.
As I hurried on, a great rushing sound was pounding my ears. "Waterfall!" I gasped, out of breath. I ran as fast as I could, nearing the peak of the great fall. I was seemingly trapped, ahead was a fall that seemed nearly a hundred feet over the rocks below...behind me were men that intended to see me dead... or worse!
I was about to leap, taking my chances in the murky fog of the bottom when I noticed a small fallen tree that spanned the width of the stream. Without a thought for my own safety, I raced across the length of the trunk. Nearly at the half way point I felt it crack under my efforts, but I continued from the fear of what would happen should I pause. I made a huge effort to speed on faster, until my feet came to a solid footing on the far side.
It seemed at the very moment that my foot struck land, the tree trunk split in two and almost took me along with it as it plummeted over the edge. I gasped loudly as I caught myself by falling forward, but I quickly gathered myself up, and scrambled through the brush knowing that they weren't far behind me.
Inside the dense foliage I hid myself just as they broke through the trees on the other side of the stream. Quickly pulling the billowing material under me from their view. "I tell you I heard something!"
The fat driver pulled short along the edge of the stream and studied the ground, "The kid came through here, Taggert." They appeared to study the tracks left by these shoes I was wearing. "I think he threw himself over the edge!"
The shorter man scowled, "Nonsense. He's here, somewhere close by." He glanced over his shoulder toward the woods on his side.
The driver continued on toward the falls, "Like I said, Taggert, I think he threw himself off! I thought I heard a scream!"
My attacker followed the driver to the edge, "Tracks stop right here. Shit! He did throw himself over the edge!" The man grabbed his hat in frustration and slapped himself hard on the leg.
"Come on. We'll have to go back for another one!" he growled and followed the driver back the way they came. "On the way we'll need to stop and buy some more clothes...the little idiot jumped with the last new outfit that I bought!"
As they worked their way toward the woods, the driver stumbled and caught himself. "So...who were you going to turn him into?"
The man following him laughed, "Those clothes were new, he was well on his way to becoming a girl...as if he'd been born that way! Now the little shit went and killed himself... depriving me of another cheap screw!"
I rolled over and faced the sky, my heart beating profusely in my ears as I struggled for my breath.
I lay quietly for several minutes, their voices disappearing in the distance. Quietly I stood, slowly raising and peering through the tall grass, it was completely still aside from the great rushing waterfall as it spewed forth the torrent of liquid.
I gradually stood and sighed deeply, finally able to breathe more easily at my successful escape. Suddenly, from behind me a great branch snapped, and I spun and saw the towering silhouette of a bear. It stood on its hind feet and slowly walked out from the darkened woods, only ten feet from me!
It seemed all the blood drained from my face, and sweat broke out upon my forehead. I felt the woods growing suddenly dark, as images began to spin before my eyes. I felt myself lose balance and lean forward. My last recollection was of the ground suddenly spinning toward my frightened face. Here I would die, knowing that it would be under the gnashing teeth of a great brown bear...then sudden darkness enveloped me.*
The Homestead - Book 1 - Part 2
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Chapter 5
I rubbed my chin and looked at her, "That's some story!"
She scowled, "It's no story! It really did happen!" Standing, she moved to the table.
I shrugged, "Okay then, what happened with the bear? Did someone frighten it off?"
She sat down on a tall, straight-backed chair and held the sheet to cover her intimate parts. "There's more to it if you're interested."
"It's Sunday; I've already missed church. Please continue with your tale." I moved over to the table. Sam sat, she was scowling at me as I took a seat.
"I'm not making this up, it really did happen!" Her eyes looked as though I had hurt her, and I felt like such a heel.
"A guy suddenly changing into a girl is just too hard to believe, Sam! You've got to realize that much! You are asking me to believe that a stupid necklace caused all of that to happen to you?" I pointed at the feminine shape hidden under the sheet.
"It happened," she frowned. "Do you want to hear the rest of it or not?" she asked as she pulled the sheet tighter and folded her arms.
"Go on," I said softly, shrugging my shoulders.
*I awoke to the sound of a fire popping and crackling, I could feel the heat against my face even before I opened my eyes. Raising my head, I looked around me, amazed to myself that I hadn't been eaten. As I took in my surroundings, I saw beside me was a small speckled blue bowl, just inside of it lay a rag. I had been reclining on a narrow bed with what looked like it was made of thin willow branches woven and interlocked into a surprisingly comfortable platform. On the top of that lay a bag of what felt like dried straw or grass.
Above the small fire was a wide hearth that seemed to span almost six feet, bark still evident on the underside of the mantle. Sitting upon the flat upper surface was a single yellow candle made of beeswax, which was held by a dull tin holder. I smiled as I realized that the candle had been there for a long time, it was bowed by the heat from the fireplace.
Across the room stood a tall shelf, and several cubbyholes were filled with normal items of the occupant. I could see a tin, perhaps with dried tea inside. Nearby was a rather ornate cup and saucer, probably belonging to the woman of the home. In the corner was a board with several pegs, upon two of the pegs, hung a great furry item that looked like an animal skin. Just below it was a broom, fabricated with a stick and several bunches of tall grasses tied to the base.
I glanced toward the floor, and I saw that it was made of long planking. It was unusual to see this type of flooring since wood was very expensive to plane way out here. Just to my right, a tall open stairs led upward. I studied each step, the boards were narrow in width and yet quite thick. Through the steps I could see beyond, into what looked like a kitchen.
I rolled to the side, the little kitchen stove was very tiny and yet looked as if it was well maintained. I raised my eyes upward, I could hear someone walking on the planking in the loft...I was not alone. I felt my heart skip, I cringed as I wondered what they had thought when they found me dressed as a female.
Suddenly I heard the walker, moving toward the first boards of the stairs. I sat up quickly, the billowing dress tangled and impeded my legs from standing. I watched in shock as the great soles of a boot began their decent down the open stairway. The boots were tall and ended just below the knee, at each side hung a long, tasseled bootstrap.
More and more of the person was revealed as he came further down the steps; it was a man and his great thud of his footfall bespoke of his large size. At the bottom of the steps he turned and headed into his kitchen, and I noticed that he was quite big, probably well over six feet tall! I scrambled out of the bedding; the dress making me stumble as he slowly turned and looked over his shoulder.
"Care for something to drink?" His voice was deep and rung within the little home. "I'm fixing up some coffee if you want it."
"N..No thank you, I'm fine." I stammered, trying to get a better view of him through the stairs. "H..how did I get here?"
He pulled down a large tin cup and poured himself his coffee, "I heard some shooting, when I went to see what was going on...I watched two fellas moving back into the woods." He took a long sip, still facing toward the window with his back to me. "That's when I found you."
I looked outside, only the faint glow of the setting sun could be seen. He turned and leaned against a long counter made from thin split logs. "Can you explain why they were shooting at you?"
I swallowed hard, looking quickly at the door. If I made a run, I would have to go past him in doing so. He followed my eyes and smiled, "I ain't going to harm you none. I just need to figure out why those guys wanted to hurt you."
I inched my way around the stairs, probably looking to him like a frightened deer peering from the brush. "They were trying to take me to Cold Spring...or something like that...against my wishes."
He took another swallow of his coffee, then wiped his thick beard of stray liquid. "Cold Forks...it's the only town near here." I nodded at his correction, realizing my error.
"That's the one." I inched further, afraid of what he would think of me wearing the clothes of a girl.
He sat his cup down on the table before him, "You're sorta dressed up, especially to be traipsing around in these woods."
I smiled weakly, feeling my face flush with embarrassment. "I can explain."
"No need...frankly, I don't care." He pulled out a chair, which still maintained the bark on the legs. "This ain't the place for no greenhorn... let alone some girl!"
"I'm no girl!" I shot back.
He laughed, a great booming sound reverberated along the rough timber. "Fine then...a woman!" He twiddled his fingers in the air and laughed, rolling his eyes in amusement.
"That's not what I mean!" I replied angrily. "I'm not a girl...OR a woman!"
He snickered and folded his huge hands in front of him, pointing a finger my way. "I would guess then, that's it's been awhile since you last looked at yourself?"
I grabbed at the long skirt, holding it out away from me slightly. "They made me put this on! I ain't like that!"
Again he laughed, stood and poured himself another cup of coffee. "Well, I can't be taking you back to town this week. It'll have to wait until I've checked my traps." He shook his head and took another drink. "Be cold soon, did you happen to be wearing a jacket?"
I shook my head, "They didn't give me one." Again he shook his head and laughed.
"It's pretty obvious to me...that idiot of yours doesn't take care a girl. To guys like him, you're nothing more than meat to poke, and then once you've served your purpose...he'll show you his boot!" He scowled and spun his cup, "Your mother should've raised her daughter with more sense."
"How many times do I have to tell you...I'M NO GIRL!" I stamped my foot on the floor to emphasize my point.
He laughed and took another long drink of his steaming coffee, "From where I'm standing, you'd be hard pressed to convince me otherwise!"
I frowned at him, but as I folded my arms against my stomach, something brushed the top of each arm. I glanced down into the pillowy hills and valleys of a woman's breasts as they rolled beneath the material of the corset! I stepped back, a shocked scream hung unspoken upon my voice! Quickly I touched each one, and soft mounds of very feminine flesh greeted my slender fingers!
I raised my trembling hands, and I saw that they were long and slim, as each finger was adorned with a narrow nail. I could feel my breath gasping and wheezing in the throws of hyperventilation. I raced a hand down my flat stomach, unsure if it were held that way by the corset or if I now possessed a girl's belly. My hands felt at the base of my torso, and between my thighs was a void as flat as my stomach! "Oh...oh my God!" I cried as I flashed my hand against my genitalia, only to find it like the void of a woman's. "He...he did this to me!" I bawled.
The big man frowned, as I sank to the floor in tears. He slowly walked to me and gently lifted me back to my feet, "What's your name?"
I looked down at my swollen chest, "Does it really matter anymore?" I continued crying, pushing myself away from him. "H..how?" I sobbed. "How did he do it without me noticing?" I staggered once again, "The necklace...he had to have touched me somehow with the necklace!"
He ignored my outburst, "I can't just call you 'Hey girl'...you got to have a name." He took a step backward.
I shrugged my shoulders, "They called me Sam at the orphanage." I said as I wiped the tears against my slender trembling hand. "Short for Samuel."
"That's funny," he laughed softly, "My late wife went by 'Sam' too...only with her it was short for... Samantha."
He stood quietly for a few uncomfortable minutes watching me desperately mulling over the changes to my body. "So, Samantha... can you cook?"
I shrugged, giving up on trying to correct him while looking the way I did. "How can you possibly ask me to cook for you after what I've just been through?"
He rubbed his chin and folded his arms, "If you expect to keep warm until we can get you back into town, you're gonna need to help out some around here. Cooking is one way that you can be of service."
I wiped a stray rolling tear away, all hope lost to me. I sighed emotionally, "I...I guess...a little."
He gently led me to the kitchen, his hand dwarfed my own in its size. "The skillet is hanging on the wall, I got bacon hanging outside in the shed." He watched me slowly begin to stoke the stove with wood, unsure of what he would do with what appeared to be a crying, irrational and emotional female.
My trembling hands pushed the bonnet from my head, dropping it in frustration on the table. I touched my hair as it was suddenly cascading in great volumes as it fell about my shoulders, spilling to the tops of my new breasts. I buried my face into these slim hands I now possessed, and another great sob broke from my slender throat.
The door opened slowly, and he stepped back inside. He watched me quietly, concern etched upon his brow. After an extremely deafening silence, he sighed. "I can cook. Why don't you sit down a spell and pull yourself back together." He slowly drew out a chair and waited until I could seat myself. His sympathetic gesture made me smile for the first time since this has happened.
He smiled, his white teeth showing through the fuzzy brown beard with just the tiniest hint of gray. "Name's Travis Henry...friends call me Kodiak." He sliced a few pieces of meat with a huge knife that looked razor sharp.
I sat up, surprised that there was some at least validity to her story as I spoke! "I know Kodiak, he's a good man and a friend of mine. He lives about fifty or sixty miles straight up the Mountain!"
She scowled at me, "Congratulations...now may I continue?" Her sarcasm was pretty heavy, but it caused me to smile. I waved my hand as Grandfather would have done. "Go on...I'll keep shut."
She rolled her eyes, "Promise?" There was a slight hint of her smile as she continued to relay her story to me, a story that I was slowly finding more and more believable. Impossible, yet minutely believable.
Chapter 6
*I laughed weakly at the big man, "So...I imagine that you were my bear? The one I saw at the waterfall?"
His laugh boomed, almost startling me. "That would be me," he said, tossing the meat into the skillet. "How old are you, Samantha? Seem kind of young to be out on your own."
I rolled my eyes, 'It seemed that he'd never believe that I wasn't born this way?' I thought. I blew out a trembling breath, "I'll be sixteen in a month." He poured me a cup of coffee and gently placed it on the table, slowly turning the handle toward me. I stared at the reflection of the ceiling as I grew sullen.
He frowned, dropping another few slices into the steaming skillet. "Why ain't you married then? You should be settling down and having a family of your own by now. My own mother was 16 when she had me."
I sighed, "Up until this very morning I was living in an orphanage...as a boy!"
He smiled and flipped the sizzling meat, "Now why would a pretty little thing as yourself be hiding out in some orphanage, as a boy?" He opened up a tall wooden box and lifted out a fist-sized potato and then placed another next to it. From a basket he brought down an onion.
I dropped my head against the table, "That asshole from Cold...whatever, turned me into the girl you keep calling, SAMANTHA!"
He turned slowly and stared intently at me. "I don't believe you. There ain't no way that you could've EVER been a fella!"
"Well I am...ah...was." I frowned, looking down.
He stood, continuing to stare at me, "So...If you was to pull off all your clothes, you'd be a guy under all them feminine fineries?"
"I...I don't know," I stuttered.
"Go ahead, pull 'em off. Been a long time since I seen a naked woman!" He laughed.
"I'll pass," I shot back. "That's the last thing I need for either of us to see." He chuckled softly as he sliced the potatoes into the skillet.
"Afraid a guy like me couldn't please a young thing like you?" He speared the meat and tossed it onto a plate, stirring the potatoes with the tip of his knife. "Not interested because I'm old and a bit rough around the edges?" he laughed as he began to dice up the onion.
"It's not that," I growled, "I'm no woman. I don't know how one is supposed to act!"
He smiled as he wiped the tears caused by the onion, "What the heck do you think those miners were going to do with you?"
I shrugged, "How should I know, I've never been a female before! Besides, it wasn't as though those assholes asked my permission!"
He laughed and pushed the onion off the cutting board, "I could tell you exactly what they were planning to do. Better yet, I could probably show you." Again his booming laugh broke the silence of the little house. "At least one of us might enjoy it!"
I sat stunned at his comment, while he kept blinking away the tears caused by the onion. After a few minutes of stirring, he began to scoop the fried potatoes on a plate for each of us, beside it he placed several slices of the bacon that he prepared. "Better eat up! Tomorrow, you're cooking breakfast!" He turned and sat a plate before me, causing me to push the cup to one side.
I watched as he seated himself. Taking up his knife, and using the wide blade, he scooped a mouthful. He chewed quietly, studying me with his clear, crystal blue eyes. After he swallowed, he gestured toward me, using the knife as an extension of his hand.
He sighed, softly, "I ain't never seen prettier colored hair than you've got." I sat silently, and sliced a small piece of meat, chewing it quietly.
I wasn't sure on how to respond. I looked up quickly, our eyes meeting briefly, "Thanks...I think." I cut another small piece of meat. "I guess my mother must've had yellow hair too," I added, not really sure why I said those words in the first place.
He smiled, "She must have been a handsome woman to birth a youngin' as pretty as you."
I felt my face blush at his compliment, and he smiled and took a sip of his coffee. Thankfully changing the subject, he pointed toward the window. "I'm figuring that there'll be snow inside of a week or so."
I looked up, and he smiled again, "damn, you have the prettiest brown eyes I ever saw."
"So...you'll take me out of here and into town? Hopefully, before the snow flies?" I ignored his comment and tried to keep him on a subject that didn't focus on me directly.
He laughed and took another long drink. "I ain't going nowhere until spring."
"I can't stay up here with you all winter!" I sat up quickly, placing my fork on the plate. "Point out the town's direction, and I'll just walk there!"
"Why not?" he asked. "I ain't going to do nothing to you." He frowned, completely sidestepping my comment about walking to the town. He was quiet for only a moment, then as if what I said dawned on him, "The town is almost a four day walk from here...you'd never make it. You would end up a bear or wolf's meal."
"Well, if that's the case...what about clothes for starters? I have nothing other than what I'm wearing here in the cabin." I stood and began to pace.
"Sure you do, you can wear anything of Samantha's that I have in her trunk." He pointed up into the loft.
I began to glance around the small cabin, "Where will I sleep?"
He shrugged, "Only got the two beds, one up, one down."
"Which one is yours?" I asked softly, hoping his was the one upstairs.
He pointed toward the fireplace, "I sleep there. You can have the one upstairs...until the cold weather sets in."
"Then what?" I wondered aloud.
"Then, we'll be bringing it down here and pushing them together," he said as a matter of fact.
"Why together?" I worried.
"I close the loft off when the weather turns colder; try sleeping up there and you'll be froze stiff by morning." He then did a slow nod as he realized my concern. "Being next to each other will help us stay warm, I ain't going to be doing nothing with you." He smiled and then winked, "Unless you're wanting me to."
I took my cup to my lips with a trembling hand, "Well, here's to a very warm winter," I sighed.
His laugh boomed again, as he raised his cup and took a drink.*
Chapter 7
I sat looking at the table, "Last winter...that was a pretty hard one, wasn't it?"
She groaned, "The coldest I can remember!"
"So...did you have to sleep with him?" I asked, even though I guess her answer. "Did he try anything with you?"
Her face reddened and she looked quickly away. Slowly, Sam began to speak...this time as if she was choosing her words carefully.
*As bedtime approached, I climbed up the tall stairs. Kodiak stayed below and watched me ascend. I stood at the loft's door and he called up softly from below, "Don't worry, Samantha. I ain't that type of guy. I'll leave you be." I turned and looked at him, feeling deep down he was sincere and honest.
I slowly retreated into the darkness of the loft, alone and afraid of the transformation that had befallen my young body. Below, Kodiak cleaned in the kitchen then quietly sat in an old rocker, its constant rhythmic creaking gave an air of quiet comfort to the little cabin.
I sat down upon the strange bed, its straw ticking rustling under my weight. A small window was centered beneath the peak, distorted glass created swirling patterns of the darkened trees outside. I stood and slowly moved to the shaft of moonlight that was beaming through the little window. Outside, the swaying brown grasses gave sound to the late autumn scene below.
I glanced back toward the bed, my silhouette cutting a feminine figure in the illuminated path. I sighed and gently ran my fingers through my now longer hair, at the end of my slender fingertips I held a golden strand. "Why did this have to happen to me?" I softly cried as I let the hair fall against my sloping breast.
I hesitantly touched the swell that had only days before been absent, the weight and pull left no doubt that they were attached. My hands fell along my waist, now tapered and as feminine as any girl would have at my age. Embarrassed with myself, I pulled my hand away and returned to the bed.
I lay prone on the narrow bed, my dress creating a billowing blanket about my legs. I wouldn't undress, I was afraid to....afraid of what I would find. I slowly pulled a thick quilt up my body and held it there beneath my chin, tears silently falling against the cool pillow.
My mind was in a tormented state, questions danced through my aching head for most of the early evening. "Would I ever be able to return to normal? Could I live as this girl that I've become if I couldn't change back?" I rolled over and stared into the night, the window providing my terrified mind an avenue of escape as I studied the gently swaying trees outside.
Down below, I could hear Kodiak softly humming to himself. Every so often he would quietly sing out the words of his song, then drop back into humming the pleasant tune. I fell asleep to his tune, a melody that finally rescued my mind and let me slip away into a world of dreams.
Long before morning came I sat up, then, realizing that what I had dreamed was based on reality. I HAD somehow been changed into a woman. I tossed back the quilt and stood slowly, gently walking toward the window. The ground was thinly covered with a light dusting of snow, and winter would be soon upon us. I looked over to the bed, a sigh brought a vaporous breath from my mouth making me realize that my time alone could be very short indeed!
I lightly tip-toed to the top of the steps, one floor below and to my left, Kodiak slept. His great bushy beard hiding his face from view, hair like I would never have on my own chin. My hand felt my face's smoothness, I wondered what I looked like, but, without a mirror...I would have to take Kodiak's word on how I appeared. But did I really want to look into a mirror?
Again my eyes wandered back toward his peaceful, sleeping face. I smiled, wondering what he looked like without the great whiskers that grew about his lip and chin. I slowly eased myself down the stairs, the dress seemed to dust each step as I descended. Once on the floor, I silently walked into the kitchen and pulled down his skillet from the wall.
I quietly opened the stove and pushed slender sticks into its door, reaching up, I adjusted the flue and struck a match. Soon a tiny fire was crackling and popping within the stove's interior. I picked up the coffee pot and looked inside, black grounds and dark water were all that was left. I frowned, then looked out the little glass window nearby, it was still very dark outside.
Slowly I headed toward the door, contemplating whether to go and get water. On a hook hung a small kerosene lantern, I pulled it down and gently shook it. Inside it was half full of the precious liquid, I turned the little wick up and using a burning stick pulled from the stove, brought the lantern to life.
Beside the door hung a thick, crocheted shawl. I assumed that it once had been Samantha's, placed it over my shoulder and hurried out the door so not to completely cool down the little cabin's interior.
The first thing that I realized once I closed the door behind me was that it had become bitterly cold outside! Only yesterday, it had seemed much warmer and pleasant. I held one end of the shawl over my face and hurried to his well, the bucket was quickly raised and after rinsing the pot first, I filled it with the ice-cold water. I quickly lowered the bucket into the well and turned back toward the house with the fresh water in the coffeepot. Just to the left of the cabin I could make out a small shed, hesitantly I made my way toward it, placing the coffee water next to the cabin's door.
As I stood near the short shed door, I could hear movement inside, but it wasn't of any large animal but rather, several smaller ones. Quietly I pushed the door open and held the lantern just inside, I could see several chickens as they roosted within their little boxes. "Eggs!" I exclaimed, stepping inside the little area.
As I was exiting the coop, I spied his smokehouse, so I crossed the short distance and noticed the door slightly ajar. Fearing a bear, I timidly began to push it open. Suddenly, the door was pulled from my grasp and my heart jumped as I looked into the chest of a great hairy beast. I screamed and stumbled back into the snow, eggs breaking in my cradling grasp, covering my chest with the yellow yolk.
Quickly struggling into a seated position I heard a short laugh, "We've got to stop meeting like this, Samantha."
I looked up at the voice, it was Kodiak. "Good morning!" he laughed, offering me his huge hand. I accepted his assistance as he quickly pulled me to my feet. "Hope I didn't scare you too much?"
I scraped my dress of the slimy yolk, angrily flipping it into the snow. "I thought you were a bear...again." I growled.
He laughed and pulled the smokehouse door closed behind him, locking it with a great iron padlock. "That should keep your bear out!" He took my lantern and pointed back toward the coop, "Do we need to make a quick stop there?" I frowned my answer and he broke into a short laugh.
After a begrudging stop back at the chicken coop, we returned to the house with our supplies. "I guess you'll probably be wanting to get out of those clothes?" He smiled as he gestured toward my dress, I looked down as he pointed his large finger at the slimy stain on the blue material.
"I have nothing..." I frowned, trying to clean it with a rag.
He sat the lantern in the center of the table, gently took my hand and pulled me to the base of the loft. As he climbed up quietly, he dragged a large trunk to the top of the stairs. "You'll find what you need in there!" He hoisted it onto a broad shoulder and carried it down. Once it was placed upon the floor, he flipped the lid open and quietly walked away.
I stood staring into the trunk, his deceased wife's clothing still lay folded since her death. I knew he expected me to change, but I hesitated on actually picking clothing that would match the body that I possessed. After a few frightened minutes I pulled out a dark dress, which was heavy and would be warm on a cold day like today.
Stepping quickly up the stairs, I placed it on the bed, my breath revealing just how fast my clothing change would need to be. The air was icy cold as I dropped the blue dress onto the floor, the egg had soaked through the dress and into the first petticoat, it too was deposited with the soiled dress. With the speed of lightning, I quickly scrambled my frozen body into the burgundy, calico dress.
I reached behind me and buttoned as far up as I could, from the top I buttoned down as far as I could reach. Somehow I managed all but one single button, I would have to ask for help with that one. As a criminal to the gallows I slowly climbed down the steps and approached Kodiak, "Can you button up the last one for me?"
He smiled sadly and stood up from the fireplace where he had been dropping a heavy log into the glowing coals. "You look beautiful in this dress. It was one of Samantha's favorites." He forced a smile as I turned my back to him, "This'll be a first time in a long while...for me."
"How's that?" I asked.
"It's been years since I've had a lovely woman in my house alone." He let his eyes slowly give me the once over, "I think Samantha was still alive the last time." With a sigh he answered, "Probably, by now, I should be trying to go the other way with a young lady's dress, and unbutton them."
I again scowled at him, but his eyes twinkled slightly and a wide smile seemed to stretch his beard. With an embarrassed sigh, I returned to the kitchen. I knew his mind was elsewhere, as he followed and leaned against the outside door. As he watched me, his expression softened even further. I looked up, "What's wrong?" I asked.
He looked down at the floor, "Seeing you in that dress, calling you Samantha... God I miss her!" His eyes took on a glassy appearance, and I felt a knot tighten on my own throat as he fought back his tears.
"Maybe you should stop calling me 'Samantha'," I observed.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, knowing that I must be bringing back so many sad memories to him. He shrugged and pulled his huge, heavy jacket off and hung it on a wooden peg.
He sadly walked away and into the other room, taking a seat on his rocking chair. In silence, I continued with our breakfast, knowing that my being here was a sad reminder of his wife, even though I didn't want to be thought of as anything resembling a female.
After breakfast, Kodiak left to check his traps, informing me that he would be gone for two days. During that time, I began to earn my keep and clean his home, trying to think of anything to break the quiet of the little cabin. By the end of the day I was standing by the kitchen window, wondering if he was staying warm in the soft feathery snow that was drifting past under the darkening sky.
When morning came, I busied myself with cleaning the blue dress and petticoat, so I began filling a wide tub with clean white snow and heating it on the stove. I scrubbed the clothing, becoming satisfied once the stain had become removed. I decided that since the water was relatively warm, I searched in Kodiak's dirty clothes and began to wash out his large shirts and pants. Once done, I carried them into the loft and stretched a string I had found from one end to the other, suspending the few items that had been clean on the line.
My breath froze in the air like smoke; the loft would be bitterly cold tonight. I knew that he would expect me to sleep downstairs soon, but what terrified me was the fear of what else he would expect of me as well! I frowned surveying my work, wondering how long the older man could maintain his control around me. It was obvious that he missed the companionship of a female, now that he had one for an entire winter...albeit reluctant, would he act on his advantage?
I quickly forced from my mind the fear that I had placed into it. He hadn't done anything to me yet, so why would he start now? I touched the stiff clothing, they would harden in the icy chill of the loft. Knowing that it would take a while, eventually they would freeze dry on their own, so perhaps I would have to come up later today and shake the ice from them one or two times. I gladly returned to the warm lower floor, and held my frozen fingers to the fireplace. The warmth enveloped me and radiated as I stirred the coals, watching the flame dance to life on the big log.
Once I was warm enough, I returned to the big tub. Bucket by bucket, I tossed the water outside, away from the house. I returned and fixed myself a small meal. For this meal, I had a potato resting on a rack for the better part of the morning, it was lightly salted and made a warm meal for my tiny body. After eating, I fell asleep beside the fireplace, in Kodiak's bed.
By morning, the light snow I watched yesterday turned vigorous, quickly falling at the rate of an inch an hour. I surveyed the house for work, most of which I had done yesterday. I rummaged inside Samantha's things and found a brush and comb set, also laying with it was a hand mirror with a silver handle. For the first time, I was actually able to see my feminine face.
I was shocked as I finally was able to look into the deep brown eyes of the girl I had become! I could still see features that I had before...only, now they were soft and feminine. My hair was slightly wavy and blonde, giving me the look I imagined my mother must have had. I slowly picked up the brush and began to pull it through my unkempt hair, but after several minutes of constant brushing, I was satisfied that I had made a small improvement in my looks.
I placed the comb set back into the trunk and closed the lid, slowly attempting to push it out of the way and under the stairs. It was heavy and my new feminine muscles strained until it was finally in place. I returned to the window and I saw that the wind and snow blew furiously, almost like a raging animal. I frowned, hoping that Kodiak would be okay during his trip. The fear of being stuck here alone was beginning to overshadow the thoughts of being stuck with him.
With hesitation, I pulled myself from the window and headed back to the wood-bin. I tossed another great log into the fire, then pulled the few remaining out and sat them aside. I knew that at the rate the storm was building, we would need a fresh supply of wood brought back in. I pulled on a blue wool bonnet and tied it down, the winter wind would be cold, however, my now long hair and the bonnet of Samantha's would help to keep my ears from freezing.
I pulled down her shawl and quickly tossed it over my shoulders, over that, I placed a thick animal robe hide. Quickly throwing open the door, I stepped out into the howling wind, pulling it shut behind me. The air was icy and stole my breath, my chest ached from the frozen blast of air. I made my way to the back of the house, under a small overhang, I found rows and rows of neatly stacked logs. I gathered all I could carry and returned to the door, stumbling under their weight.
With one hand, I threw open the door and stumbled inside, a single, great log slipped and fell onto the floor, rolling until it came to rest beside the table. Using my back, I closed the door and stacked what I had into the box. I picked up the fallen log and tossed it with the others. A momentary rest and I again threw open the door, returning to the blustery weather outside. I had feared that with the weather suddenly turning sour, at some point I wouldn't be able to return to the pile before Kodiak came back home. All throughout the day I dragged myself to the woodpile, arms and legs aching from the exertion. Finally, I determined that I had enough wood, as it had spilled over the side of the box and began to be stacked in a long pile next to it. I collapsed into his bed and closed my eyes, only wanting to rest for a few minutes.
When I opened my eyes it was growing light outside, and the room felt like ice, I sat up quickly and looked around...still no Kodiak. I pulled a dry log and ground it into the glowing embers, beside it I pushed a few smaller twigs and sticks. These caught quickly, slowly a warm fire began to build.
I looked out the window, the early morning light began to dawn. The wind had stopped and gently sloping drifts were like arrows pointing away from yesterday's wind source. Still wearing the animal robe and shawl, I headed back outside and fought my way through the deep snow to the well. I filled the bucket and returned to the house. I banked the little kitchen stove and placed water on to boil for coffee, then returned outside to see if any of the chickens had survived the sudden cold snap. Inside, I found two dead chickens, frozen solid during the storm. There were fourteen that seemed no worse for wear, from these I gathered four small eggs and with the two dead chickens, I headed toward the house.
The sun grew bright, almost hurting my eyes as it reflected against the glistening snow as I trudged back toward the door. I laid the dead chickens on the table and placed the eggs in a small basket. I pulled off the jacket and shawl, shaking loose the snow that clung to them and hung them back up upon the wooden pegs.
I returned to the fireplace and stirred the coals, the warmth felt good considering my recent trip out into the snow. The whole bottom edging of the dress I was wearing, had become frozen rock hard, I didn't care for the cold wetness as it lay against my leg. I returned to Samantha's trunk, opened it and removed a long, heavy gray skirt and white blouse with a high collar and long sleeves. I removed the remaining petticoat, and fancy bloomers that the man had forced me to wear, as it was almost as wet as my dress. From the trunk I found a heavy plain petticoat and hand stitched bloomers that I pulled up my slender, almost entirely hairless feminine legs.
Soon enough, I was dressed and warm again, returning to the fireplace. When I had fallen asleep after bringing in the logs, I had almost let the fire die out, but now that it was again warming in the little cabin, the heat had begun melting all the snow that had been on the logs yesterday, creating puddles on the floor. I took rags and mopped up the slowly dripping water. I returned the rags to the peg that they had been on and again paused at the window, noticing that the trees were heavily laden, yet beautifully decorated with the thick snow.
Slowly turning away, I returned to the kitchen and the two dead chickens. I wasn't sure what exactly to do with them. I figured that they had died during the storm, however I was reluctant to throw them outside for fear of drawing a bear into the yard after fresh meat. Instead I decided that since the cold was what killed them, I'd cook them up. I glanced at a large metal pail that was sitting upon the floor just behind the door.
I laid down the birds and gathered the bucket, opened the door and filled it clear full with the fresh, clean snow. I moved quickly as the air was bitterly cold. Returning with the pail to the stove, I sat it down on the back where the heat would melt the snow. With numbed fingers, I continued dropping handfuls of snow into the bucket until, when melted, it had filled it to almost two thirds to the top.
For almost an hour the water sat warming, from time to time I checked it until finally I saw it begin to boil. Once it churned in earnest, I placed the first of the now thawed chickens. I left it in for only a few minutes, then quickly lifted it out by a foot, and dropped it into a pan where I could remove the feathers.
While I was plucking the feathers, I dropped the second chicken into the boiling water. It only was a moment before the first chicken began to cool, as rapidly as I had done in the orphanage, I began to grab great handfuls of the feathers and placed them into a pile on the table. Soon the poor hen was void of her feathers and lay lifeless upon the table. In short order, the other laid beside the first.
When I had the chore at the orphanage, I hated the work because wet feathers smell awful. Now, I hated the thought of letting good meat go to waste. Since I was older, the kitchen was always where they pushed me to work, now, it would seem a benefit since I knew exactly what to do with a recently deceased chicken.
I began to search for a knife, because the big one that Kodiak used was undoubtedly sheathed on his belt. I drew back on an iron drawer pull, wood against wood squeaked shrilly as I opened it further. Inside was a plethora of sharp knives and even contained a small thin, one piece hatchet. I glanced about, and gathered a log from the wood box. Throwing on Samantha's shawl, I took the log outside and stood it up in a snowdrift, returned to the house to retrieve the chickens and hatchet.
I placed my left hand as support against the body, with one quick strike, the animal was beheaded and both feet soon followed. I pushed it deep into the snow where the blood would seep down and freeze, not becoming an ugly mess drawing carnivorous animals from the woods. Begrudgingly, I followed with the second hen.
I stood knee-deep in the icy crystals of the drift, breath hanging in a great vaporous cloud about my face, only to be slowly pushed away by the wind. I bent down, holding my dress aside and cleaned the hatchet in the white glistening snow, my teeth chattering in the blistering cold air. Tossing the feet and heads as far into the woods as my now weakened arm would let me, I gathered the naked birds and returned into the warmth of the house.
I stood at the table and examined the birds further, plucking any tiny feathers I had missed. Using a lit candle, I singed the tiniest feathers away that my numbed fingers couldn't grasp from the bird. Then, taking a sharp knife, I held the bird over a pan and began to cut along its soft underside. Within several minutes, I had both of the chicken's entrails removed and carried them and the chickens far from the cabin. I packed their chest cavities with clean snow, shook the snow loose, and was able to clean them of their blood. I returned with the bucket, filled with water, and began to wash the blood from each bird. After washing them out, and tossing the red liquid into the woods, fearfully glanced over my shoulder and quickly returned to the house.
Once safely inside the cabin, I cleaned the hatchet with fresh water, dried it and returned it to the drawer. I returned to the fire and stirred the coals, and the effort helped warm my frozen fingers. Once I had warmed enough, I began to cut up the birds into smaller sections using a knife I found in the drawer when I put the hatchet away.
Both birds weren't very large; in fact, they were relativity small. But between the two, they would make a decent meal. I found a bowl that Kodiak had stored a type of grease into, and using the knife, I scraped it into the iron skillet and watched it slide toward its center under the intense heat.
As the grease melted, hurriedly ran outside to rinse and refill the bucket of water. Once done I hastily retreated to the warmth of the cabin once again. I took the shawl from my shoulders and returned it to the hook, beside it hung the blue bonnet made from wool. I began to search the cupboards, finding a bag of wheat seeds, these I placed a few scoops into a coffee grinder and pulverized them into a soft almond-colored dust.
Using a single egg, I made a slimy concoction and rolled each small piece of chicken in it, then deposited it into the bowl of wheat flour dust. Each portion was then deposited into the hot grease where it bubbled and sizzled. For almost a half hour I continued cooking the pieces until I had a small pile of the warm, steaming chicken, fried and on a plate.
I looked out the window; I knew Kodiak would be returning soon. I busied myself by taking the wheat flour and leftover egg, combining it into several small balls where I placed them into a pie tin. Opening a small door of the stove, I pushed the pie tin inside and quickly closed it. I wondered if I was doing all of this for him, cooking to return the favor of letting me stay in his home?
I watched the bubbling grease in the pan as it danced alone among the small broken pieces of batter. I was torn by my feelings of being so domestic, unsure of whether it was the transformation or if it was just me trying to be helpful.
I searched through his tall potato bin and retrieved six soft potatoes; these needed to be used soon as they were old. I washed each one, and began to slice them into the heated grease. I found a mushy onion and sat it outside until I had finished the potatoes, after I had the potatoes finished, I retrieved the frozen onion and cut it quickly into the potatoes. These were fried into a golden brown, the smell of the meal hung beautifully in the air of the cabin. I kept turning the sizzling vegetables in the skillet, once done, began to spoon them into a large bowl. So occupied with my project, as I was turning, I ran into a towering wall of fur.
"I could smell that all the way up the mountain!" he smiled, grabbing the bowl as it fell from my shocked fingers. "It was sure a welcome thing to behold, that smell was."
I clutched at my chest, trying to still my rapidly beating heart. "I didn't hear you come in!"
He laughed, "I came in slow, been inside for awhile warming up, watching you cook."
"You must be frozen!" I said, helping him out of his heavy hide coat. "I'll get you some coffee while you go warm yourself by the fire."
He smiled as I lugged the heavy hide to the peg where he hung it. "Looks like you've been pretty busy around here," he said, looking around his cabin.
"Not too busy," I said gathering my apron into my hand, so not to burn myself and pouring his coffee. "I just wanted to be helpful," I said as I handed him the steaming cup. He turned and walked back toward the fireplace.
"Looks like you've brought in half of my woodpile." He kidded as he tossed a huge log inside, using one hand, without any effort at all. I winced, it had taken me a single trip to struggle with two just like that one.
"I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to get back to the pile, it was snowing so hard!" He nodded and hung his long muzzle-loader on the pegs above the doorway, then stomped the snow from his boots. I looked at the floor, he had tracked in small clumps of snow all over the clean floor. I felt myself sigh.
He glanced down in the direction I had been looking, "Sorry about that. I'll pick it all up before it melts." He smiled, bent down and began to drop the packed snow into his huge palm.
As he continued to gather snow, I set the table and placed his coffee cup on one end. He quickly tossed the handful outside and returned to the kitchen. "Smells good."
I smiled, though I wasn't sure why. He stood as I examined the table, then he set down a small bowl of coarse salt. Again he stood quietly and waited, I gave him a curious look as he moved around the table to my side. As he pulled out my chair he smiled, "A gentleman always holds a seat for a pretty girl. Even if he is as old as dirt!" I felt my face grow warm, and I was sure that my cheeks were beet red.
I demurely sat down and watched him walk to his side and pull out his chair, as he took his seat he glanced up at me. Slowly, he took a bite of the chicken, almost hesitant of its taste.
He eyes widened as he chewed, "My Lord, this is heaven!" He took another bite, tearing the tender flesh from the bone with his strong white teeth. "Sure beats my Samantha's all to pieces!" He stabbed at the potatoes, chewing slowly as if to savor the flavor. "Unlike you, she couldn't cook very well...she was just pretty to look at. You seem to have both of those covered!" Again my face grew warm.
He took a long drink of the steaming coffee, then returned his cup down and picked out another golden piece of the chicken. "I'm surprised a dainty little thing like you would clean a bird. Gonna make it hard for me to let you go away from the cabin after all of this!"
I picked at the chicken with my fork, unsure of how to take all of his praise. He grew quiet, "You ever been alone, with a fella before?" I choked and quickly took a drink, then laughed. "No, I guess not."
He smiled, pushing a chicken bone to the side of his plate, "Didn't figure as much, especially since you don't look very old." He looked upward, taking a deep sniff. "Do I smell biscuits?"
I felt the blood rush from my face, quickly scrambling to my feet and again using my apron, pulled the pie tin from the stove. "Burned." I frowned at the dark brown surface of each one.
He looked at the pan and pulled one down to his plate, "Nonsense, they're just the way I like them!" He grinned like a little boy with a bag full of candy. "Only one thing they're needing."
I raised my eyebrows, "And that is?"
He stood up grabbed the smokehouse key and stepped out the door, leaving me alone in the kitchen. Finally, after a few minutes, he returned. He lifted a small frozen ball in his hands, "Butter!"
"Butter?" I asked, wondering who had made it for him.
"I trucked it back from town on a whim about two weeks ago. There's eleven more in the smokehouse just like this one." He sat it in a small flowered teacup, with a gold leaf handle.
I laughed as the little ball rolled around and around with each attempt he made to slice off a small pat for his bread, after a few tries, he succeeded and was able to spread the white butter on the warm bread. He took a bite and rolled his eyes, "Now that's a biscuit!"
I sat in amazement as the big man continued to eat, I wasn't sure if it was from being away so long, or if he actually found what I had made, palatable. Finally, when everything had been consumed, he stood and ran his hand through his wild hair. "You keep cooking for me like that, and we'll get along just fine!" He smiled as he pushed in his chair.
While I cleaned the dishes from the table, Kodiak began to melt snow in the great tub for me. It surprised me that he actually stood beside my small frame and dried each one as I placed it upon the table. He ushered me into the living room and had me sit on his rocker.
While I sat watching him, he made several trips to the outside, each return trip he would drop clean snow into the great washtub. After he had the wash tub completely full, he disappeared under the steps only to return with an even bigger tub, one end being higher than the other. As his snow melted, he began to fill the bigger tub with the steaming water. Again and again he repeated this process until he had the bigger tub about half full.
Even as I sat watching he began to slide his suspenders from his wide shoulders. I couldn't believe my eyes as he kicked his boots from his feet. "Could you toss on another couple of logs, I'm intending to take a bath. Wouldn't do to catch a cold this time of year."
I quickly scrambled to the log pile and tossed on two logs, trying to refrain from looking at him undress. Behind me I heard a splashing, a quick glance let me know that he was safely hidden beneath the water. "It's a mite cool, could you get me a few pans of the melted snow and dump them in here? They should be warmed up enough to take the chill off the bath water."
I felt my eyes dart to the steaming pan, 'He couldn't be serious?' I thought.
He sat and watched me, as if waiting for the first bucket of steaming water to be dumped. Apparently, he was entirely serious. With hesitation, I hoisted the heavy bucket down and slowly poured it into the tub. All the while, I tried to shield my eyes from looking at his nakedness.
As he scrubbed himself with a small bar of homemade soap, he grinned at my attempts to shield my eyes from him. "After I'm done here, you can have a go at the tub."
"I'll pass," I said, pouring the remainder of the bucket into the water. "I have no desire letting you or any other man sees me without my clothes on."
"That's a durn shame," he grinned, then tossed the bar into the empty bucket as I begin pulling it away. "Set the bucket down and come wash my back."
"I can't do that!" I gasped in shock.
"Why? Afraid of seeing something you might like?" he laughed to himself as he used a rag to wipe the tops of his broad shoulders. "Don't tell me you ain't never seen a man before?"
"I've seen a man before," I shot back, remembering exactly what my own male body used to look like when I had it. "I just don't want to see yours!"
His great laugh boomed so loudly that it startled me, "It ain't like I'm asking for you to step in here with me! I just want you to scrub my back!" He pointed to the bucket, "Come on now, hurry up, the water's cooling down!"
I hesitantly picked up the slippery soap, then headed to the back of the tub where he was leaning forward. Slowly, I began to scrub at his back. "Can't tell you how long it's been since I had a pretty girl wash my back. Been a year or two in the least!"
I bent down and raced the soap against his muscular back, wide shoulders and hard torso. My hands looked so white against his skin, so strange, so small, so feminine. He placed the rag upon his shoulder, I took it and started to scrub him vigorously, creating a milky lather in the water. "You can rinse me off with the bucket," he spoke, his voice breaking the stillness of the room.
I dipped the bucket into the heated water, then returned to the tub where I poured it on him, washing the suds from his large frame. "That's the ticket, nothing more refreshing than having a good looking woman to bathe a fella!"
I felt my face grow warm as I turned to sit the bucket on the table. Behind me, he scrubbed the soap into his hair and beard. "Normally, I'd wait until spring before I bathe, with a woman in the house, I figure I should do it a bit more often!" He smiled as he leaned forward and submerged his head in the water.
As I stood I spoke angrily, "And if you think that by cleaning up, I'll allow you in my bed..."
"My bed," he laughed, correcting me.
"Still...You have another think coming!" I stamped my little foot, irritated by what I assumed that he intended.
The glow from the fireplace flame danced its reflection upon the wall. Kodiak finished his bath and without warning, stood up and plucked a towel from a nail. It was as if he moved with the speed of lightning, so I wasn't sure if it was from the chill of the cold or because he didn't want to be seen by me. It didn't matter though, because my eyes drank it all in even before I could force them to shut.
The water glistened upon his chest, highlighting the strong muscles of his abdomen. It rolled over his graying chest hair and down his biceps and onto his forearms, dripping from his fingers. His thighs were thick with muscle, all of his walking, building them up with strength and sinew. His arm shot out to wrap the towel around his waist, but not before I spotted his long maleness suspended beneath a great mass of dark curls.*
The Homestead - Book 1 - Part 3
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Chapter 8
"No kidding? You saw him naked?" I whistled, "What did you do?"
Sam glared at me, "I did just what anyone would have done..."
*I screamed in surprise, as he realized that we were facing each other. He spun quickly, placing his chiseled backside toward me. I felt my heart race, as my eyes drank in the vision I had been so afraid to witness!
He quickly dashed behind the steps, "Damn, Samantha! I didn't mean for that to happen!" He hid himself behind a small chest of drawers, "It ain't like I planned that! I just forgot!"
"Uh...I think I'll just head on to bed," I stammered, quickly ascending the stairs into the icy loft.
I made my way past the frozen clothing, and buried myself under the mountain of blankets...still fully clothed. With only my nose and mouth sticking out, I closed my eyes, blocking out my frozen breaths, forming tiny clouds of vapor.
I froze, teeth chattering viciously throughout the night. Numbed into a stupor brought on by the intense cold of the room.*
"That must have been pretty rough for you to see a grown man's...well, you know," I laughed.
"Seeing it was one thing; dreaming of it was something I didn't really expect!" Her face grew red and she looked away.
"You dream about seeing...it?" I asked, leaning against the table, my arms folded, elbows down.
"Oh...yes," she sighed. I watched her face, she closed her eyes slowly as she thought of the dreams, "The dreams were very vivid and I would like to keep them to myself if you don't mind. I would be too embarrassed to say what happened."
I smiled, "You ended up having sex...in your dream, didn't you?"
She ignored my comment, by continuing with the telling of her adventure...
*As the first hint of sunrise shone through the window, I threw back the covers and stumbled stiffly to the stairs. My numb fingers were unable to grasp the rail because of the extreme cold, and my feet were unfeeling and aching from the chill. I stepped down upon the first step, and fell the entire way to the floor. Instantly, Kodiak was beside me helping me to my feet clad only in his long, winter underwear.
"Good Lord, you're half frozen!" he gasped as he moved me toward the fire. "I knew I shouldn't have let you sleep up there last night!"
I tried to tell him that it was okay; however, my mouth was unable to form the words. He shook his head and scooped me up into his arms, carrying me to the bed by the fireplace. As he laid me down he began to examine my arms and fingers for injury, "Did you hurt anything?" he asked, but only chattering of my teeth could be heard.
"Don't try and talk!" he frowned, vigorously rubbing my hand with his own. "We got to get you warmed up!" He quickly spun and dropped a log into the glowing coals; using another he stirred the coals before tossing it onto the flames as well.
He bodily picked me up and placed me nearest the fire, upon the edge of the bed, up near his pillow. He then moved in behind me, covering us both with the thick blankets. "This is why I told you that you'd have to bunk up with me. Up here, in these mountains, it gets damn cold during the winter!"
I could say nothing; the chattering of my teeth was all that I could do. Slowly the great burning began in my fingers and feet, tears welled in my eyes from the pain. He noticed that I was crying. "Feeling it in your toes?" I nodded my answer. "That's good, means the blood is warming them up." We lay spooned like that for a long, long time, this mountain of a man and I.
Finally, I opened my eyes, finding myself alone in the bed. "How you feeling?" I heard, and quickly glanced to where the voice was coming from. Kodiak stood at the end of his bed, holding a plate of flapjacks. "Hungry?"
"I guess so," I replied, taking them from him. I ate a forkful and watched the fire dance upon a log as it burned. "Thanks for helping me, earlier."
He shrugged, "From now on, until the weather breaks...you'll have to sleep down here." I looked down at his narrow bed. "Don't worry, if I wanted to take advantage of you, I'd have done it when you couldn't defend yourself. It’s just...I ain't that kind of man. Besides, we'll put the beds together so you can keep your distance from me." His beard widened and his eyes twinkled as he smiled.
I realized that what he said was true. If he wanted to harm me, he had had ample opportunity since I have been alone with him. I nodded slowly, finally agreeing to share his warmth...and nothing else.
As I ate, he headed outside and was gone for quite awhile. By the time I was finally finished, there was still no sign of Kodiak. I began to make a pot of coffee, he would be frozen when he returned, I reasoned.
Finally, the door opened to a swirling storm of snow. He stamped his feet and set the wooden bucket on the floor. I quickly poured him a cup of coffee, and he gratefully took it from me and held it in his hands.
"That sure feels good on the old digits!" He brought it up to his mouth and blew across the surface, cooling it, before he took a long drink. "Looks like we got another storm a-brewing."
I looked out the frosted window, unable to see beyond the icy wheat patterns upon the glass. "The wind's picking up; blowing the snow that already fell. I'm guessing it'll be adding to it as well, probably becoming a regular blizzard real fast."
I groaned, hearing him say it, hating the cold like I did. "What will we need to do to prepare?" I asked, watching him drink the hot coffee. "I'll help...we'll get done faster."
He looked around the room, "Well, we'll need more water for coffee and cleaning, I guess you could fetch some for us." I placed the thick woolen bonnet upon my head, quickly tying it tightly under my chin. As I threw upon the shawl and thick fur cloak he pulled the washtub from the hook, "We'll fill this up for now, if need be, we'll use snow when it runs out."
I rolled my eyes and handed him the heavy bucket; he laughed and struck at the top of the bucket, breaking the ice that had frozen while he was outside. He poured the icy water into the large tub, then with a smile, handed me the emptied bucket. "Pretty...and ain't afraid to work." I smiled at his compliment and pushed past him for the door.
For almost an hour we worked; I filled the tub with fresh water, while Kodiak carried great load after load of firewood into the house. We paused only long enough to warm our insides with a hot, steaming cup of coffee. After that, the only time we stopped was when we ate a small bite of food for lunch.
When I finished, I moved on to helping him with the firewood. Soon enough, he said we could stop, and then we turned our attention to making sure the food was taken care of. Kodiak strung ropes from the house to the smokehouse, chicken coop and outhouse so we could find our way in the chance that we would need to get outside and the blizzard would block our visibility once we were away from the buildings.
I found another chicken that had died from the cold during the night, but Kodiak took it from me and quickly cleaned it. Meanwhile, I packed snow into the holes and cracks of the little coop. I gave them extra feed and water, should we become unable to return for a day or two. The water they quickly drank, perhaps because they knew it would be frozen over in a matter of minutes. I wasn't too worried; there would still be snow that got inside, no matter how much I filled the cracks. They would have that to consume, should they get thirsty.
I checked for eggs, but there were none. I couldn't blame them for not laying any, who would want to lay an egg in this weather? I heard a slight noise behind me, turned and suddenly, Kodiak forced open the door to the coop. Wind struck and stung at my face with an icy blast. "Come on inside, there's nothing more we can do now; the storms upon us!" His voice sounded far away, even though he was standing right beside me.
With all our strength, we fought back up the rope toward the cabin. The wind was almost too strong for me to stand, so Kodiak held me with one strong arm, preventing me from being blown away by the great gale.
The chicken coop was only around thirty feet from the house, but in that blizzard, it seemed like miles. The roar of the wind sounded like a lion as it swept down the mountain and through the little valley where the cabin was situated. Thankfully, the last few feet loomed close and I was ushered inside the cabin with the help of this huge mountain man.*
Chapter 9
"Then what?" I asked, feeling somewhat jealous of Kodiak, what with being snowed indoors with this beautiful girl for several days.
She held up her hand, as if asking me to hold my questions so she could continue...
*We sat upon the bed warming ourselves, completely spent from our exertion. I felt my eyes grow heavy and closed them for only a moment, when I again opened them; my head was cradled upon the pillow. Thankfully, I was once again rested and warm. It was inky dark outside; the wailing wind buffeted the house with its fury and scorn.
I continued to soak up the warmth of the bed, relishing in the heat my body had been permitted. I raised my eyes, sweeping my long hair from across my face. Just above my head, lay Kodiak's hand, fingers almost twice the size of my own. I rolled onto my back, his thick beard tickling my face as I moved, his other hand resting high upon my waist...he was asleep.
I glanced quickly down; he was dangerously close to the underside of my confined breast! I felt a shudder of terror race throughout my system, he was close...too close!
I stifled a gasp, 'Why should I be afraid him?' I asked myself silently, 'He has done nothing to warrant that fear! He has always acted the gentleman when I was around. Why should I expect anything different?' Still, I gently pushed his hand away, letting it drop to the bed behind me.
I again closed my eyes, and this time I felt I could appreciate the warmth that he shared.
When morning arrived, I opened my eyes slowly. My head was resting upon Kodiak's thick chest, and he was looking down at me. "I didn't want to disturb your sleep."
I slowly sat up and crawled from the bed, and then I tossed a log into the fire and stirred the coals. "I'll clean the ash from the pit as soon as I can get up," he said as he drew the covers up to his chest.
"I can do it!" I said, taking a small shovel and removing the spent ash. "I'm not some helpless female like you're probably used to!"
He smiled, "Now, that's the truth!" He rolled to his side, staying covered.
"You getting up?" I asked, depositing a shovel full of ash into a tin bucket.
He smiled wryly, "I don't think I'd better just yet."
I scowled, "You'd better be dressed under those covers!"
"I'm dressed." He sighed, and then under his breath, I could have sworn that he said, "Not that it did much good!"
"What was that?" I asked, hoping that he would repeat himself.
He smiled broadly, "I said, it was a good thing we brought in all that wood." As if to emphasize, he pointed to the long pile lining the wall.*
Chapter 10
I opened my eyes in surprise, "He was aroused?" I sat back against the chair, "You made him aroused...but...you said that you were a guy?"
"I know what I said! I couldn't help what happened; he was a guy alone with a girl! It would be only natural for something like that to eventually happen! My problem with it was that it was I who happened to be the girl!" She also leaned back against her chair.
"So what happened next?" I wondered aloud...
*For three long days that storm blasted against the cabin, but, for three days, we kept warm and snug inside that home. Even though we shared a single bed, we kept to ourselves while we slept.
Uncomfortably for me, I would find myself waking up with my head resting against his chest. I say 'uncomfortably', but I slept well, as if I were nestled upon a great, warm pillow. One day rolled into the next, soon the weeks piled upon each other. Our mutual agreement held: not once did he ever try to take advantage of our situation...and for that, I was thankful.
All throughout winter, it was the same routine. We would wake up, I would fix breakfast and we would do the inside chores, each of us taking an equal part. Sometimes when the weather would ease, we would venture outside and do what we had to do. But, each night found us sharing a bed. It was odd at first, but we soon became used to it.
After many long weeks, I became tired of the cabin. I just wanted to be off his cold mountain and back among the civilized world. It seemed like eons ago, that I was a mere boy playing or fishing. Now, I was trapped in this female form, unable to perform in the way I was used to, stuck here on a confounded mountain, with a giant behemoth of a man.
Kodiak could see that the isolation was getting to me during that long winter, and it became evident because of my melancholy attitude. Finally, once the spring snows began to melt away, he packed up a few of his wife’s old clothing and took me by the hand escorting me down his mountain.*
I sat studying her for a moment; she was quite beautiful even when I could tell that she was troubled. "So...what will you do now?"
She was quiet. "I don't know. I can't actually go back to the orphanage, and I have no like of Kodiak's mountain living."
I shrugged, "Come on into town. There's plenty of places you could stay at."
She was quiet again, playing with her slender fingers. "Why...why can't I just stay here?"
Her question took me somewhat by surprise, "Stay here...on the farm?"
She nodded, pleading with her eyes "Please? I don't think I could live in town. People would expect me to behave as a female...I...I can't do that!"
I felt my gaze drawn to her large brown eyes; I could look into them all day. I sat up and pushed my hand through my hair, "Well, I guess you could. I'd have to do some work here and there to make it livable enough for you."
Her smile beamed, and she suddenly sprang up and raced around the table. Before I could react, she embraced me with her slender arms. "Oh...thank you, Quin!" I said nothing, yet I felt that what she was doing was nothing like I would expect from a boy, who had suddenly been changed into a female. Nor could I help my desire to remain in her proximity for as long as possible.
She let me go and smiled, "You don't know what a relief this is to me, Quin! I was beginning to think I'd never be able to show myself to anyone ever again."
"You...you...ah...probably should get dressed." I turned my head; I had noticed that her dark nipple was showing through the thin material of the sheet.
"My clothes are at the lake...I have only a few..." She turned her head, following my own eyes; I had been looking at one of the dresses the mountain man had given her.
I shrugged and pulled my hat down from the nail where I had placed it last night, "Sure, I'll fetch your clothes before I leave."
I didn't even look back, sadly closing the door behind me and crossing the porch. Gypsy glanced up; she had been lying at the end of the porch in the morning sun. "Come on girl, we've got some clothes to fetch."
She stood and stretched her legs, yawned and quickly fell into place beside me.
Chapter 11
I had removed the horse from the buggy and rode it down the trail to the spot where I had rescued the girl; her clothes were right there in plain site. Within a few minutes we were heading back to the farm. Once there, I led the horse into a corral and quietly walked back toward the house with the dog.
As I rounded the corner I glanced up, Sam was walking toward the house from the tall weeds. I stopped and smiled, she was wearing the dress, and her natural beauty made me catch my breath. She was stunning!
She was gliding across the ground; her dress held mere inches from the surface as she walked, just like a typical girl would. Smiling, she glanced up at me. "Did you find them all right?"
I glanced at her 'male' clothes in my hand, "Yeah, no problem." She moved past me and into the house, I couldn't remove my eyes from her shapely figure. "I see you decided to wear the dress." I said, following her.
She shrugged, "It isn't like I haven't worn one before...I just don't like to wear them!"
"You should...you cut a real fine sight when you do!" I replied as I smiled. She grinned weakly as she took the clothes from my hands.
"You're probably wondering why I was in the weeds?" She placed her hands behind her back; the movement emphasized the feminine roundness of her bosom.
"Uh...well, I just figured that you had to use the outhouse." I stammered, embarrassed for thinking about a woman using the privy.
"Hardly," she laughed, "Your fish were beginning to smell! I took them down the hill and tossed them into the weeds."
I could smell something being cooked; she quietly closed the door behind me and moved toward the stove. "You hungry?" she asked.
"Well...yeah, I guess so." She pointed toward the table, indicating that I should take a seat. I sat and removed my hat, "Smells good."
"Thanks, I just hope it tastes as good." She dropped several thick slices of bacon onto a plate, beside two eggs that had already been cooked. "There's more if you want."
"You going to eat too?" I asked, watching her as she walked back to the old stove.
"I have my plate right here." She held it up as she returned to the table.
I couldn't help but watch her as she ate. At times, she ate with the grace of a female...then, at times, she would shovel the food in as if she were half-starved. I found her interesting and compelling...but mostly, I wanted to know even more about her.
I glanced up as I took a drink, and my mind wondered, 'Are you bothered that she claims to be a boy? Could you woo her feminine side if the chance would arise, knowing that she may indeed have been a boy as she claimed?'
My eyes traveled down her neck and along the bosom that was hidden by the top fabric of the dress, down to her graceful arm and the demure fingers that held the fork. "Oh yes," I thought, "I could easily fall for this beauty!"
I was re-hitching my horse later that afternoon, when I heard her walking up behind me. I turned; saddened to see she had replaced her feminine dress with the male clothes again. "Taking off?" she asked.
I nodded, "My grandfather will be wondering where I've gotten off to, he'll be worried." I drew the cinch up tight and walked the reins back to the seat of the buggy.
"I...I'd like to thank you again for saving me." She looked down at the ground, her shorter cropped hair falling down into her eyes. "I know that this is your place..."
"You can stay," I interrupted her, "My grandfather won't mind." I glanced toward her shirt; a person could just make out the slight swell of her bound breasts. Quickly averting my eyes I hesitated, "I...I won't mind either. In fact, it'll be a good reason for me to do some repairs on the place." I spoke, looking at the unkempt farm.
"Thank you," she smiled. "I don't really have any place to go...besides, you can't imagine how good it feels to be able to share my secret with someone who won't try and take advantage of me?"
"Kodiak never took advantage of you, and neither will I." I said climbing up into the seat of the little buggy and picked up the reins, the motion caused the horse to take a step in anticipation. "I'll come by in a day or so and look in on you, and I may bring some supplies to start working on the buildings."
She nodded politely, "Thank you."
I adjusted my hat on and ran a finger along the brim, at the front I pulled it slightly down. "Ma'am," I smiled.
She slowly rolled her eyes and stepped away from the buggy wheel. "You can stop that any time...I'm not a 'Ma'am'!"
I smiled and gave the reins a snap, slowly rolling out of the barnyard and onto the little lane that led back toward town, close behind the buggy was Gypsy.
Chapter 12
As soon as I stepped into the store, I was met by the stern look of my grandfather. "Where the Sam Hill you been? I figured you got yourself killed and was about to send the sheriff out looking for your carcass!" I smiled at his mock anger. Sure he was worried, but he wasn't as mad as he was letting on.
"Late last night, while I was leaving the lake, I heard a huge splash. When Gypsy and I were checking on what had made the sound, I found a kid had fallen into the lake!" I placed my fishing pole into the closet. "If we wouldn't have been there, I'm sure they'd have drowned."
Grandfather stood straighter, "Is he okay?"
"Uh... he'll be fine, just wore him out a bit struggling. He had gotten into the moss and had it wound all around himself...it was weighing him down!" I purposefully led grandfather by using the male references of the victim, especially since he was the one who first used that inclination. I wasn't ready for him to know that it was really a female. I knew Grandfather wouldn't approve if he knew I was alone with a young girl all night, even if it was innocently.
"So, you took the boy to his home?" He asked as we were walking back into his office.
Before I realized what I was saying, I answered. "No, I took him to your old homestead."
He paused and turned, "Why there?"
My mind began to scramble, I hated to mislead my Grandfather. "It was late; we were closer to the farm than to his place."
"Were his parents upset when you took him home?" His look of concern made me feel like a heel.
"Like you, they wondered where he was, but were thankful that I had been in the right place at the right time." My grandfather nodded, smiled, and slapped my back closing his large hand upon my shoulder in a grandfatherly hug.
Now that he knew I had been at the farm, I thought it would be a good chance to tell him of my findings on the disrepair of the old homestead. "While I was waiting on the boy to get better, I took a walk around the old place...kind of remembering when you and Grandma were still living there. It really needs some repair." I glanced up to see his reaction.
"Oh? You thinking about fixing it up?" His smile was reassuring, almost like he was relieved.
"I could, if you want me too," I grinned.
His eyes danced with a light that I hadn't seen in many years, "You don't know how happy that makes me feel, Quin. Long ago, your grandmother and I dreamed of giving it to your father. When he and your mother died, we had all but given up hope. Then, when I lost your dear grandmother I lost all hope completely...that was, until you came to live with me." He sat down in his high, leather chair. "Do what you need to the farm, I'll help you if you want...but...Quin, it's yours if you want it!"
I swallowed hard, never before had I been given something so wonderful! "Gosh yes...sure I'll have it!" I felt as if my head would split in two from smiling, "I'll fix it up right pretty so you'll to be proud, Grandfather!"
He leaned back into his chair, "I'll have the deed drawn up tomorrow; the place is yours!" He patted my hand from across his big desk, "Now, what will we need to fix it up?"
I suddenly remembered the young woman who had been hiding at the farm; I felt the smile leave my face quickly. "Uh...Grandpa, I have money saved up...almost two hundred dollars. If it's going to be mine, I'd like to fix it up by myself...if you don't mind, that is. I hope you understand?"
He laughed, "Sometimes I forget what it's like to be a young man. Sure, I'll let you take the reins on this project...I don't mind." He gave me a warm smile, "Fix it up nice, there'll be a day when you'll take a young woman out there as your bride, you wouldn't want her to see a ragged old farm."
"No sir...I wouldn't," I replied, "I'll fix it up real nice!"
He stood slowly, giving time for his tired joints to catch up. "I imagine you're a bit hungry. Come on and we'll get you something to eat!" He patted my back as we walked, gently moving to the kitchen. "You do have to promise me one thing."
"What's that, Grandfather?" I wondered aloud.
"When you're finished, I'd like you to drive me out there so I can see what you've done to the old place."
I gave him a hug and nodded, "Sure, Grandfather. When I'm done, I'll gladly drive you out there to see the farm."
Chapter 13
I hitched up Grandfather's team to the old buckboard that had been inside the barn, and then drove it down to the mill where I purchased a few long boards and some shake shingle material. Carefully these were placed into the buckboard and tied down beside the tool box which contained my saw, hammer and assortments of nails.
This was the first weekend since I had rescued the girl that I had been able to get back to the farm. Grandfather had given me all today off, since it was Friday, so I could have the entire weekend to do some repairs to the farm. I wondered in the back of my mind if...she'd be still there, or had she become frightened and bolted as soon as I had left. Deep down, I was hoping that she had stayed. I drew the string tight, and moved back to the front of the wagon, checking all the while that nothing could slide when I would began to move with the load. Finally satisfied, I placed my foot on the large spoke of the wheel and took hold of the metal arm of the buckboard's seat.
As I was climbing up, Becky, the Livery manager's daughter bounced into view. "Hi Quin!" she gleefully chirped.
I hesitated and lowered myself back to the ground, "Hi Becky!" I said smiling. "What brings you in here on such a fine morning?"
She smiled and motioned for me to follow. As we rounded the wall she walked me up to a small box, inside, there was a small kitten. "Is that your kitty?" I asked the nine-year-old.
"It's one of Black Tom and Annie's kittens. She had three; this is the last one left." I crouched down and begin petting it with the back of my finger. "Papa says I had to get rid of them all, says he doesn't need any more than we already have."
I gently picked it up and held it in my large hands, "It sure is a fuzzy little thing." I laughed as it began to lick my finger with its rough tongue. A quick check revealed that it was a male.
She pet it with her small hand, "Your grandfather wouldn't want a kitten...would he?"
I tightened my lip, "I'm sorry, I'd be afraid that his dog, Gypsy, might kill the little thing." She sadly looked down at the ground, "But I'll tell you what, Grandpa gave me the old farm...right now there has to be about a million mice at the place. Would you mind if I took him out there?"
Her face brightened up, "That would be fine! In no time at all, he'll have those mice all run off or eaten!"
I glanced at the little sleeping form in my hands, "I doubt if he'll be ready to battle it out just yet...give him a few weeks and I'm sure he'll give them a good fight." I smiled as it yawned, his vibration from purring could be felt in my touch. "How old is he?"
She shrugged, "Papa guessed they're old enough to give out...Annie stopped nursing them a few days ago. Any time they come around her, she would growl and hiss. I started to give them away only yesterday...it's yours, if you want it."
I began looking around, almost tempted to stuff the tiny thing into the pocket of my jacket. Becky saw my intentions and quickly came to my rescue, "You can have the box if you want, the kitten can ride in there safer than in your pocket."
I smiled, "You won't mind?"
Becky shook her head, "It's just one of our old apple crates, Papa won't mind if I give it away...especially if I don't bring back any kittens."
I laughed, and placed the kitten back into the deep crate. "Thank you, Becky. And thank your father for me, too!"
She held the crate as I climbed up onto the seat, then handed it to me. "Bye Kitty," Becky said as I sat it into the seat beside me. "Take care of him!" she shouted as I began to pull away.
"I will! Thanks again!" I shouted as I headed down the street with the kitten. By the edge of the town, it had settled back down and was falling asleep. I smiled and shook my head, giving out a short laugh as we rolled on.
Chapter 14
I eased around the lane, just past the tall pines and birch trees with their curling white bark. The farmyard looked deserted, and I felt my heart drop. Sadly, I rolled to a stop just outside the old corral and climbed down from the seat. I unhitched the team and walked them into the corral, then pulled the gate closed behind me as I headed into the barn.
It was eerily quiet as I stepped inside, for not a thing was moving. I sighed and slowly walked back toward the house, gingerly, I pushed the door open. On the table there was a dish laying, a chair stood slightly askew. "Sam?" I called out. There was no answer.
Inside, my heart was spinning, spiraling slowly out of control. "Damn!" I muttered. I was really going to miss her company, even if she thought she had once been a boy. As I turned and walked toward the open door, she was suddenly standing in front of me.
I wasn't sure who startled whom. She stumbled backward and I quickly caught her from falling. "S...sorry about that," I stammered as I helped her regain her footing.
"I didn't hear you come in," she said excitedly. I looked past her at the corral, it would seem impossible for her not to notice the wagon and horses.
I yanked my hat from my head, "I'm glad to find you still here, Sam. I was afraid you'd have left before I could see you again." Inwardly, I frowned at seeing her once again, dressed like a boy.
She shrugged, "Where would I go?" Her slender finger slid under a blond lock of hair and pushed it behind her ear. "I haven't gotten any other offers to stay anywhere."
"That's good to know, I already told you to stay here as long as you like!" I smiled, rolling the brim of the hat in my hands. My eyes quickly drank in her outfit, she was still dressed like a boy, but her breasts were unbound. I tried to not let my eyes linger at the feminine swell of her shirt.
From far away I heard a soft mew of the kitten, and I felt myself smile. She turned and moved onto the porch. "Did you just hear that?"
Playing ignorance, I did my best at acting like I was listening. "Hear what?"
Again the soft sound came from the wagon. "There it is again! It...it almost sounds like a kitten."
I took her by the arm and we both walked to the wagon. I pulled the crate across the seat and lowered it down. "A little girl in town gave him to me...every farm needs one." I smiled as she reached inside and began to gently caress the soft fur. "I sort of thought that you might like the company...when I'm not around."
"What's his name?" she asked smiling, and gently lifting it to her smooth cheek.
"He doesn't have one...yet; I was hoping that you'd help me name him." I could feel my heart racing as it pounded inside my chest, deep down I knew I could easily fall for this young woman.
She smiled and looked at me from the corner of her eye, "I guess I could help you come up with something." She turned and began walking toward the house, all the while I couldn't take my eyes from her gently swaying figure.
I sighed to myself, "How could you keep your beautiful feminine shape, hidden under all this loose, male clothing?" Yet, I was thankful she couldn't hear me, and even more thankful for the view I had in following her.
"Have you eaten?" she spoke, pausing at the porch. I glanced up and almost ran into her.
"S..sorry." I stammered, loving the fact that I was so very close to her. "I ate breakfast with my grandfather this morning."
"Coffee then?" She smiled took a step backward, onto the porch.
"That would be fine. I need to empty out the wagon first, then I'll gladly take that cup." As she turned and headed into the house with the kitten nestled in her slender arms, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm my over-stimulated nerves.
After unloading the wagon and placing my supplies into the safety of the barn, I walked back to the house. Pausing at the open door I knocked against the door frame. "Sam?"
"You don't have to knock, after all, it is YOUR house...well your grandfather's house," she called out from the kitchen.
I paused and hung my hat on a hook, "Well, now that you mention it, I have some news about the farm to tell you." I pulled out a chair and sat down, she handed me a cup and sat in the opposite chair.
She had a slightly worried expression, but my smile helped ease her fears. "My grandfather has given me the farm, and he wants me to fix it up." I took a sip of the extremely hot coffee. "You can stay here indefinitely, as my guest."
She sat quietly, contemplating what I had just said. "I won't stay here free of charge; I can help with fixing everything up." She stared into her cup, "I'll not have any charity, I do have my pride to respect."
"I understand, I'm sure there will be some things around here that you can do. Just...leave the heavy stuff for me." I wanted her to understand that I couldn't live with myself, knowing that she was trying to do anything that a man should be doing.
Her eyes narrowed, "And just what are you expecting me to do?" I realized as soon as she spoke that I may have just stuck my foot in my mouth.
I stammered, "Whatever you want that doesn't involve any heavy lifting."
She stood up so fast that her chair fell over, "You're trying to treat me like a girl...I'M NOT A GIRL!"
I glanced at the fallen chair; the kitten had disappeared into the bedroom as soon as it struck the floor. "Fine." I growled, "If you think you can pull a man's load...I'd appreciate the help!" What else was I to do? I was afraid of offending her so much that she would leave...and I didn't want that to happen.
After quickly finishing my coffee, I retreated to the safety of my chores. I was intending to mend some fences today, but hadn't expected to have personal fences to attend to as well. Still seething, I removed my axe from the wagon and headed off, taking the narrow path that led down the bottom of the hill.
It only took a few minutes to find a slender stand of young trees that would suit my purpose, not far away from the farm. I looked around and noticed that these would need to be removed anyway, since they had grown quickly in an area that used to be my grandfather's field.
As I felled one tree, I moved on to the next, figuring that I would strip it of branches once I had cut what I needed. The steady 'whop, whop, whop' of my axe kept the rhythm to the tune in my head. I was in my element; I loved being outside...doing a man's chore, trying to rebuild a man's farm. My farm.
Slowly to my ears, I heard an echoing 'whop'. It was out of sequence and it caused me to turn. At one end of a tree that I had just cut down, stood Sam. In her hand was a hatchet that I had left behind in the toolbox. She ignored me and continued with her work, I watched her swing the smaller axe with the precision of one who was not unfamiliar with its use.
I found myself smiling, and then returned to my work. As soon as I had finished with what I needed, I began to help Sam remove the branches. By lunch, we had all the logs I would need to repair the corral, all with the help of Sam. She was hurting, as I could see the pain in her eyes as she winced. I assumed that she had several blisters on her soft hands, but she would never admit to being sore...that much I was sure.
She said nothing to me as we walked back up the little lane toward the old homestead. I knew she was hurting and keeping her pain to herself. I unhitched the team and started leading them down the hill toward the several logs that lay near the small stand. From the corner of my eye I watched to see if she would return, then felt a surge of pride when she appeared next to me at the bottom of the hill...pain and all.
"You don't have to do this." I hesitantly spoke, glancing toward her blistered hands.
"I'm doing it because it's something that I want to do," she replied curtly.
"Suit yourself...but...I do appreciate the help." From a quick glance, I saw the tiniest hint of a smile creep across her pretty face.
In groups of two, I tied the logs together and with Sam leading the team, we brought them back up and into the barnyard. While I was placing the horses into my makeshift corral, Sam returned with a ladle full of cool water. "Thought you may want this."
"Thanks, Sam." I smiled and took the cool drink from the old ladle.
"You want to break for something to eat?" she asked, taking her own drink.
"We can," I said smiling, I was enjoying her company, appreciating her more and more.
Once the gate had been closed, she and I began to walk toward the house. "I'll help cut those into fences as soon as we've eaten something."
"You sure?" I asked. "I don't mind...but...those hands of yours can't take much more abuse." She looked down; her tender palms were riddled with sores.
"I'll be okay," she said as she dropped her hands to her side. I said nothing, admiring her toughness as we walked toward the house.
Our meal was a simple one, we had several slices of store bought bread and smeared over it was some strawberry jelly, and chased down with a glass of cool water. Smiling, she got up and took a pear, sliced it into two halves, and gave one to me. All of these items had been purchased from Grandfather's store, with the exception of the pear, which grew freely on the farm.
After our meal, I stood and walked outside. Sam had been feeding the kitten the edges of her bread, which the feline was hungrily taking. I pushed my hat down on my head and set up Grandfather's saw horses; by the time I had the first log in place, she was there. "You sure you want to help?"
"I'm here, aren't I?" she shot back.
I nodded, "That's fine." I replied, "But I want you to use these from now on." I reached over the side of the buckboard, and into my toolbox, pulling out a pair of goatskin gloves. "It'll help your hands from getting any worse."
She looked down as I held them, and frowned. I bent lower so she could see the honesty in my eyes, "Please? I love the beauty of your hands, and I don't want them hurt anymore."
It was almost as if she were embarrassed when she took them from me, but she slowly put them onto her diminutive hands.
Without another word, I sat the long blade of the cross-cut saw on the mark I had made. By the time I had made my first draw, she was on the other side, ready to drag it back through the initial cut. Like a team we worked through that first log.
Throughout the afternoon we continued sawing, I couldn't help looking at her, nor could she help looking at me. The constant motion of our movements caused a pleasant motion of her bosom under her shirt, pleasant for me, but I doubted if it were for her.
The back and forth motion had caused her top two buttons to open; it gave me a glimpse of her upper chest, and just a hint of her youthful cleavage. Sweat glistened in those areas I could see, fueling the imagination for those areas I couldn't.
By late afternoon we were finished. I carried the saw into a smaller building and hung it from the end rafter. She dropped the gloves into the tool box and using all the strength she could muster, carried it, without my knowing, into the same small shed. As she set it down, she realized that her buttons had come undone. Quickly correcting the problem, I noticed that her face was reddening.
"I'm going to clean up, if we're finished for the evening, that is?" She stood, waiting for my answer.
"That's fine. I was thinking about cleaning up myself too," I smiled, thinking of a small farm pond not too far away, one that my grandfather used to water his cows. The water would feel so cool, cleansing the sweat from my body.
Chapter 15
I stripped down behind a bush, throwing my clothes onto a log as I headed toward the water on a dead run. It was one of those times as you are diving, when you hear a strange sound, like the one that I encountered. Unable to stop myself in mid air I sliced through the cool water and surfaced, and as soon as I was able, I broke the surface and looked around. Other than the wake from my dive, nothing else was moving. Then, I noticed a smaller rippling that was interlocking with my own.
Suddenly, not fifteen feet from me, surfaced Sam. She dove under as soon as our eyes met, trying to hide her nakedness in the attempt. I realized that I too was without clothing, naked in a small pond with a beautiful girl. She slowly surfaced again, keeping her chest covered with her hands.
"I...I didn't expect you..." she stammered, treading backward several feet.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, "I'll get out until you are through." I began to swim to the edge where I could walk out.
"NO!" she cried. "You're naked!"
"So are you," I replied. She looked back toward her own clothes, then over toward where I had left mine. "Look, there's no reason we can't share the pond. I'll stay over here on my side; you stay over there on yours." I said, trying to sound like a diplomat.
"I guess that sounds fair," she said as she bobbed in the water. "Only, no peeking!"
I nodded in agreement, as I began to swim. I had kept to myself for quite a long time, once forgetting that I wasn't alone and trying to float on my back. When I did, I heard a soft gasp from the other side of the small farm pond. At its widest point, this particular pond was only around twenty yards across, unlike the bigger lake not far from here. This small pond was more of a watering hole than anything, although it did have catfish and crappies living in it, most likely there from when the big lake overflowed its banks at one time during a heavy rain.
Upon hearing her gasp, I almost drowned myself with my own sudden movement. "I...I'm sorry!" I shouted, "I forgot you were in here!"
I felt better when I heard a short laugh. "Uh...Quin, exactly how are we going to get out of here without either of us seeing the other one?"
I looked around; the sun was dipping low in the west. "We can wait until dark and then climb out..."
"I suppose," she said laughing, "Just keep the rest of you down, UNDER the water's surface."
I smiled and swam a bit closer, noticing for the first time that her wet hair was almost touching the tops of her shoulders. "I like it that you're letting you hair grow longer." I said, as I kept my head above the water.
"It's not that I'm letting it grow, I've just misplaced my scissors." It was apparent that she was standing on the bottom, because her movement was negligible.
"If I asked you nicely, would you let it grow?" I smiled, swimming to my right a few feet.
"Why?" she asked. "Would it be because you have some strange reason for wanting me to appear as a female?"
I frowned, "I can't figure you out; you are a gorgeous woman! Why can't you act like one?"
She had no expression on her face, replying calmly, "Because, to act like one means that I have accepted the notion that I am one. To accept means to embrace everything that comes along with womanhood!"
"Is that so bad?" I asked.
"It is if you weren't raised as one... or, had you forgotten what I told you about being changed into this...this girl you're seeing in front of you?" She shot me a frown and dipping backward, used the water to comb her hair from her eyes.
I looked away, "I'm sorry."
She sighed, "It's okay, I know what you mean. I just can't bring myself to accept what has happened to me. I...I know that unless I find the man who changed me, there is little chance I can ever go back to my old form."
"If it's any consolation, I wouldn't mind it if you remained as you are." I couldn't help telling her the truth.
She looked into the west, "The sun's setting, and it’s almost dark now...I think it would be safe to get out now." I knew she was just trying to change the subject, so I said nothing.
As she moved toward the shore, I could just make out the gently flaring hips and thin waist, shifting with each of her steps. She disappeared quickly into the underbrush. I, too, began to head for the opposite shore, making my way to where my clothes lay upon the log.
I sat quietly on the log as darkness enveloped me, slowly dressing myself, knowing she had long ago left the pond and returned to the house. Finally I took up a slow walk back to the farm. As I approached the barnyard, I met her walking toward me. "Forget something?" I asked.
"I was worried. You were taking so long," she replied.
"I was thinking," was my only reply.
"Oh...I see," she smiled, "I remember back when I wore my male body, I would go off by myself and do some 'thinking' too!"
I hesitated, feeling that she was implying that I stayed back there to 'play with myself'. I scowled, "hardly."
She smiled and turned back toward the house, "I have supper ready, come in so we can eat!"
She had put me into a sullen mood, as I fell into step behind her. A mood that made me not sure I wanted to eat with her in the first place. She glanced back at me, "Sorry, Quin, I didn't mean to imply..."
"Forget it," I spat.
The Homestead - Book 1 - Part 4
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Chapter 16
When I got back to town, I fell into my routine and kept putting off going back to the homestead for nearly a month. Finally, I felt a great void in my heart, seeming to draw me toward the old farm. I bid Grandfather goodbye and headed back out, sneaking some food and a crate containing a few chickens from our own large stock.
I pulled the wagon into the barnyard and sat still upon the high seat I listened, trying to identify whether she was still there at the farm. I climbed down and unhitched the horses from the wagon, slowly guiding them into the corral. Once done, I closed the gate and carried the crate of chickens toward the coop.
The old coop's chicken-wire still looked good, the frame still sturdy. I pushed against a pole taller than myself, and erected to keep out varmints. I began testing the strength of each pole, continuing to do so until I had checked every one. Feeling that everything looked in order, I tossed each chicken into the pen...there were six. I realized that they needed some fresh straw in the coop, and decided that I'd gather some prairie straw for them after I had a look around.
I walked up to the porch and lightly rapped against the closed door, "Just a minute." I heard Sam's lilting tones coming from the other side only moments before she opened it up. My heart began to beat more quickly at the sound of her voice.
"Hi Quin!" she said smiling as soon as she recognized me. I was stunned, because she was wearing a dress!
"You look nice." I said with a large smile. "I...I thought you said you'd never dress..." My voice grew quieter as I realized that my comment may set her off again.
She shrugged and replied, "Something you said that day in the pond got me to thinking."
"Oh?" I wondered aloud. Completely unable to recall what I said at the time.
"Well, facing what you had said, and actually outgrowing my 'boy' clothes," she added, "This is the one of the few dresses that I have, I've been washing them every three days at the pond so they will stay relatively clean."
I happened to notice the kitten as it was cradled in her arm. "You come up with a name for him yet?"
She glanced down, "I've been calling him 'Boots' ...on the account of his fur pattern on each leg." I nodded as I saw that the name fit. I reached out and scratched his neck and pet him, conscious of my hand being so near to the fullness of her bosom.
I again indicated the dress, "I like seeing you in a dress, even if you don't really like it." She glanced upward at me, but said nothing. "Would you like me to bring you out an outfit when I come back next week? It wouldn't be a problem."
"That would be okay, but I don't have much money." she replied, smiling.
"What do you want, male or female clothes?" I was watching her as I spoke, hoping that my question wouldn't offend her.
"Anything is fine."
"Anything?" I said, smiling, but she only shrugged her reply. I looked into her beautiful eyes; it was apparent that she hadn't cut her hair since I had been gone. It had grown long enough to rest upon her shoulders, almost a full inch...maybe more.
She slowly glided to the rocker that was sitting in the corner, and as she sat down the kitten curled up upon her lap. "So, what brings you back out here?" she asked softly as she petted the kitten.
I nodded outside, "I brought some hens and wanted to do some minor repairs to the coop. Once the six of them get comfortable, they should start laying eggs within the week."
"Eggs would be nice," she smiled, her gaze steady upon me.
I gave her a puzzled look, "Are you okay, Sam?"
She smiled and nodded, "I'm doing my best to take your advice."
"And what advice was that?" I asked.
"You wondered why I couldn't accept my change and try to be the woman I had become...I decided that I would give it a try." She shrugged slightly; the movement caused her bust to rise. "It's really not very easy, but I promised you that I'd try."
"That's great news to hear, Sam! I have a feeling you won't be sorry." I silently was extremely happy to hear of her acceptance!
"There's one thing I have to ask...for this to work." She looked at the floor.
"What's that?" I asked.
With a deep breath, she looked up at me, "You have to treat me fully as a woman, including...using my feminine name."
"Samantha?" I asked.
She nodded, "It's the only way I can see to figure out, if I could live the life that fate has chosen for me." She placed the kitten on the floor and stood up.
I rolled the brim of my hat in my hands, "I don't look at it as 'fate'...I think of it more like...destiny."
"We'll see," she said softly, as she stood before me like a regal princess.
I walked into the kitchen and lightly touched the side of the coffeepot, which was still warm. Taking down a cup, I poured myself a drink. "Would you like some?" I asked, holding my cup in the air.
She shook her head 'no'. "I bet you're wondering why I've come to the conclusion to accept being a female..."
I took a drink from the cup, the lukewarm coffee still tasted pretty good. "Well, actually I am, especially when you were so vehement about it only a month ago."
She sat down at the table, the kitten raced along behind her. "Ever since I was on that mountain, I have been 'blessed' with that...woman's curse. Once a month I have been reminded that I was a female, knowing that this body was reshaped for an entirely different role than when I was male...and younger." With one motion, she gathered her kitten and again placed it upon her lap.
She began to stroke the kitten as she spoke, "Just after you left, I again had that...visitor. I assume that was the reason that I was so moody with you."
"It's okay...I understand," I stammered, embarrassed to be speaking to a woman about something so personal.
"Thank you for being so patient with me, I really appreciate it, Quin."
I smiled and shrugged. "I like you better as you are; you make a very pretty woman." She smiled, and as she did, her face reddened. I took in a deep breath and rubbed my hands upon my thighs, "Uh...well, I need to unload my supplies and get busy on the coop. Tomorrow, I plan on making a bed so I can set it up in the other room."
"That's good. I didn't like thinking of you sleeping on the cold floor."
A quick flash swept into my head, the image was of me sleeping in the big bed with Samantha. Now it was my turn to redden, I think she knew what I was thinking as she quickly turned her attention back to Boots.
I began to slowly back out of the door, "I...uh...I need to get started on the chicken coop...uh...we can talk later."
I focused my entire attention to the coop, afraid to think of anything else I found myself done in only a couple of hours. I stood back and admired my work when Sam...antha came walking up.
"I'm all done inside of the house. Do you need any help?" She had her slender arms behind her back, almost emphasizing the size of her breasts. I fidgeted, while gathering my tools. "I can help you get the prairie straw, if you want me to."
"Uh...that would be fine," I stammered. "I appreciate the offer."
She walked beside me as I took the tools into the small shed, with each step she took, her dark blue dress swayed. While I was putting the tools away in their proper places, she was emptying a great burlap bag of the dust and dirt collected over time. "How much straw do you think we'll need?"
I glanced up, "Maybe that bag, clear full."
She held it out and nodded, "And where will we get it?"
I pointed toward the area where we culled the logs, "It's just wild grass that grows and dies...it can be cut and used for bedding, and it comes in real handy during the winter."
She paused and looked around, "Will we need any for this winter?"
I froze in place. "Are you planning to stay out here during the winter?"
She replied, "I thought I would. Why, is that a problem?"
Her comment got me to thinking, if she stayed here, I would have to lay in a bunch of wood so she wouldn't freeze. To do that, I would have to be here quite a lot from now until October. She was looking at me, waiting for an answer when I noticed her expression. "Winters are bad here, almost like what you saw when you were on the mountain with Kodiak. It'll be really hard to get everything ready before then. You feel you're up to it?"
She smiled, "if you'll help me, I'll give it a try."
I looked at her intently, pursing my lips in deep thought. "Trying won't cut it. Out here, it's either you're all in, or they'll be someone burying you in the spring. As I see it, you only have two options... and you already know one of them."
She grew quiet. "If we can't get this place ready for winter...what's my other option?"
I looked directly into her glorious eyes. "You may have to move into town if we can't get it ready enough." She slowly closed her eyes, as if contemplating the choices.
"Between you and me, I'd like to make a go of it out here. I'm not comfortable around people just yet; you understand don't you, Quin?"
I nodded, giving her a reassuring smile. "We'll give it a go, by October we'll know if we can make it or not."
"Are you going to continue helping me?" She asked. I could melt from the precious gaze that she held me in, at the moment; I would do anything for Samantha.
She turned out of the shed and began to move into the direction I had indicated; she hesitated while waiting for me to retrieve the big scythe. "So Quin, I've told you all about myself...what do I know about you?"
"There's not much to know," I said shrugging and resting the long handle over my shoulder, the blade hanging behind both of us. "I've been living with my grandfather ever since I came west."
"Surly there must be a girl out there for you?" She looked at the ground and continued to speak. "Perhaps there’s a sweetheart that I'm keeping you from?"
I smiled. "No...not really," I replied, knowing that deep down she was really the only one I had cared to shown any interest in. From the corner of my eye, I was sure that I saw her smile.
Chapter 17
As we reached the tall swaying grass, she held her hand out and brushed the very tops of the golden shafts. I placed the blade of the scythe on the ground, "You may want to move off a bit so I can cut." She backed away for several feet and took a seat upon a fallen tree.
"I'm glad you know what you're doing," she laughed and brushed a strand of blond hair from her face.
"If you catch this early enough, it keeps much of the moisture in it and makes really passable hay...at least the animals wouldn't complain too much." I began to draw the long curved blade toward me, she watched as the tall, thin dried grass fall.
She pulled her feet upon the log, resting her chin upon her knees. "Do you suppose you'll ever marry?"
I hesitated for a split second, "I guess so...someday." I glanced up, still cutting the grass. "What brings that question on?"
She shrugged, "Although I said that I would try, I'm a bit afraid of what I'm doing, and I'm not sure if I can pull off living like a woman."
I smiled, "Well, you're doing it good enough to fool me!" I kept moving slowly around, widening the area I have cut even more with each swath of the blade. "I imagine you'll find someone eventually."
She looked toward me, squinting into the sun. "I suppose you're wanting a bunch of children?"
I nodded, "Two, maybe three, not more than four. A fella's got to have some sons around to help him on the farm."
"Oh...you want sons." She scooted backward on the log, moving to where a shadow could shield her eyes.
"Just a couple. I'd suspect that a few daughters would be fine for the Misses, she'd probably appreciate the help."
She laughed, and then grew quiet for a minute before speaking again, "Do you figure that you'll be living on this farm after you marry?" She rested her slender hands upon her lap as she spoke.
I dragged the big scythe through the thin grass, which fell slowly toward the earth in its wake. "I guess," I replied.
Straightening up, I stretched out my back muscles with a groan, and then looked at the large area of cut grass. "I'm figuring that this will be enough for a few old hens." I said, leaning the scythe against her fallen tree, and began to stuff the bag she had been carrying with the dried grass.
She dropped down beside me and was also pushing the golden stems into the dusty bag, as she did, I couldn't help but watch her work. I swallowed hard, I wanted to take her right there and smother her with my adoring kisses. She glanced up and paused. "What?" she asked.
"Oh...uh...nothing!" I stammered, quickly looking down at the bag.
"You were going to say something...what was it?" She put her hand on her hip and gave me a studious glance.
"No. Nothing...really," I lied.
She squinted at me; her look was both cute and scrutinizing. "Okay, you just be that way." I smiled and pushed more straw into the bag, filling it to the top.
"Let's take this back up and unload it, and we can come back for the rest if we need more." I stood and offered my hand to her; she was hesitant, but finally placed her small, demure hand into mine. "Thank you," she replied softly. Her hand was soft and cool to the touch.
She was quiet for the better part of our walk back to the farm, making me unsure of whether I had upset her or not. Finally bored, I began to softly whistle the hymn that I had heard played on the piano on the day that I met Sam.
She glanced over at me, "That's a nice tune. What's it called?"
I smiled, "Blessed Assurance. I heard Mrs. Corduroy play it the day I met you, back when I thought you were a boy."
She looked at the ground and nodded, "Back when my life wasn't so confusing."
Her comment puzzled me. I wanted desperately to ask her what she meant by saying it, but decided it was better to just let it go.
We paused on the lane; the spot was strewn with wild daisies and tiger lilies. She hesitated and glanced up, her dress was dappled with the shadow cast from the large trees that stood at the edge of the farm. "You need to stop being so down on yourself!" I offered, "You're a stunningly beautiful girl and you should be proud of what the good Lord gave you!"
"I'm trying, God knows I'm trying! But sometimes it's just too damn hard to accept this feminine life that I've been forced into!" she cried and folded her arms. "Everything that I knew growing up...has been turned on its head!"
"Like what? You can still do anything as a woman that you could have EVER done as a man!" I shot back in frustration.
"Oh really?" She rolled her eyes in disdain, turned and began walking on toward the chicken coop. As we both continued, she turned her head and spoke; "What about getting married, owning a farm...children! Everything I had dreamed of has been shattered by that asshole in the coach almost a year and a half ago!"
"What are you saying? You can still get married, own a farm and have children!" I growled, "Look around you, everything you need is already here!"
My words seemed to echo from building to building, Samantha stood there with her beautiful mouth agape. "Wh...what...what are you saying? That I stay here and...and make a life...with you?"
I dropped my arms to my side, not believing that I had said...what my ears heard. "Okay, so I said it." I rose up to my full height, "And I'm damn proud I did! Any red blooded male would be proud to take you as a wife, Samantha!"
She still stood there with her mouth open, "I don't believe it! Just how do you expect me to answer?"
I stared at her for a few seconds, and then replied softly, "I guess you're supposed to say 'yes'?"
"And you're calling THAT some kind of proposal?" she wiped her forehead with a trembling hand. "I...I don't think I could," she stammered, her voice shaking with the fear of the unknown.
As we stood before the chicken coop, I indicated the farm with a sweep of my hand, "Why do you think I've been coming out here all of these weeks?"
Her eyes slowly dropped toward the ground as if in a daze, "I...I just thought you were trying to help me out?"
"I was, at first." I sat the bag on the ground near my feet. "But, somewhere between that first day and today...I began to fall in love with you."
Her touch was delicate, as she brushed against my hand. I felt a shudder of excitement race through my body. "I'll take that," she said softly.
I let the bag go as she and I continued on for a few steps, neither of us saying anything. Finally I leaned the scythe against the coop's fence. Samantha carried the straw inside, filling the little roosts. I entered and began helping her by holding the bag, when I looked around Samantha was gone, having taken the scythe with her.
I headed toward the tool shed in a hurry, entering where the door was ajar. Inside I found her struggling to hang it back upon a high hook; she was trying to put it away for me. I smiled and gently helped her ease it over the hook, "Good thing you came when you did, I was having a tough time reaching the nail."
I smiled and hesitated from removing my hand from where it overlapped hers, "That's okay, I'm glad to be of assistance."
She smiled and looked out the door, patiently waiting for me to pull my hand down...which I finally did. "So...what's next?" She asked.
I removed my hat and scratched my head. "I guess I have to be making that bed," I quickly glanced at her. "Oh...I uh." I looked away quickly and felt my face grow warm. "I shouldn't be speaking of something so personal around a woman."
"We're just talking about a bed, Quin. That's all, just a bed," she laughed and stepped out into the sunlight. I rubbed my temples, trying to massage my stupidity away before coming again into her presence.
Chapter 18
As with the corral, she helped me fell two young saplings. Working quietly to strip the limbs from each, she stood beside me for the entire time that I was there. Finally I took one in each hand and started dragging them up the hill toward the farm. Behind me, Samantha carried the axe and hatchet.
As we neared the house she paused and was studying the edge of a treeline. "What's that?"
I looked to where she indicated, "I'm not sure of what you're seeing." I continued to scan the horizon.
"That cross over there? One of your relative's buried there?" She pointed at a small cross just inside the clearing.
I laughed, "No relative, It's where Grandpa and Grandma buried their old dog 'Mister Buck'."
"Mister Buck?" She laughed as I continued to go on toward the tool shed. "That's an odd name for a dog."
I shrugged, "He was a good dog..we still have his old mate 'Gypsy'. She's got to be close to 15 years old now." I replied as I entered the shed.
"I like dogs...someday I'll have one of my own." She pushed a straying hair aside and followed me in.
I smiled back at her, "And I took you for a cat person."
"Oh I like them both...but there's something about a boy and his dog." Her face suddenly grew pained almost as if she reminded herself of what she lost. I said nothing, I didn't want to pour salt into her wound.
Dropping the long poles beside the sawhorses I took the sharp tools from her and quietly put them away. Meanwhile, she was watching me closely. "Do you think you'll need any more of my help?" she asked, gently picking at the bark of the small sapling that she leaned against.
I shook my head, "I don't think so, cutting this will be pretty easy."
"Okay then, I'm going to go inside and fix us something for supper." I watched her walk away, the gentle sway of her hips filled my mind with lustful images. I shook them loose and picked up the saw I had returned from the shed with.
Through one of the little glass windows beside the kitchen, I could see her moving about. Each time she would pass, I couldn't help but admire her feminine form. Thankfully, this project would rescue me from my torment until I was finally able to remove myself from this view.
Inside the tool shed once again, I tightened one of my cut pieces into the vise and using a rotary hand drill, began to bore holes in an interval of about two inches. Once done and built, a strong rope would be threaded through them and drawn tight.
Focusing deeply into my work, I never heard her step up behind me. "You going to be much longer?"
I felt my heart jump, turning I shook my head, causing her to giggle. "Okay, that just about killed me!"
She snickered and handed me a cup of coffee, "Thought you might appreciate this."
I smiled and took it from her, took a drink and set it upon the bench beside me. "So, what do you think?" I indicated the bed frame I was working on.
"What is it?" she laughed.
"It's the bed frame, well...part of it." I picked up one that I had already finished, "This is one of the end rails. The side rails are leaning against the wall." She turned, and touched the long rail gently.
"Why all the holes?" She turned and smiled, watching me take another drink of coffee.
"You'll see. I'm almost done." I began to release the vise, pulling the last of the frame rails out. "I'll bring it in when I've got the frame built."
"That's good, because supper will be ready in about a half hour." She grinned and started out the door, pausing as she glanced back. "Don't forget to bring in your cup when you come inside."
"Not a problem, Samantha, thanks for the coffee!" I said as she smiled, turned. I watched her walk back toward the house.
After finishing fastening the frame, I carried it to the house and leaned it against the porch. Opening up the door I hung my hat and sat the cup on the table, saying, "Smells good." I said, closing the door behind me.
She pointed toward a basin full of water, "You can clean up before we eat." I nodded and went to wash up. "Did you finish your frame?"
I waited for the water to drip from my face before answering, "It's outside. I'll put it together after we eat."
"Will you need any help?" she asked as she moved the food to the table.
"Sure, you can help." I began to dry my face and hands, "I'll never turn away good help!"
Samantha smiled and continued to set the table, "Where you going to set up your bed?"
I pointed toward the room where she was sleeping, "It'll go there. I'm going to take your bed and move it to the smaller room down the hall. Once I have a bit of time, I'll try and fix it up too."
She followed my finger with her gaze, "So, I'll be moving down the hallway?"
"No. I'll be moving down the hallway, you'll stay put and sleep in the new bed." I said, laying the towel upon the table beside the basin. She walked around me and quietly folded it, placing it back where I had removed it from earlier.
I smiled and waited at the table for her, holding onto the back of her chair. "Ma'am," I said as I pulled it back slightly.
She looked at it and then me. "Do you really think that's necessary? I can pull out my own chair."
"Not as long as I'm still breathing," I said as I waited for her to sit. "I've always been taught to hold a chair for a lady."
"Is that what you think I am?" she laughed.
I gently pushed her in and moved to my side of the table. "Most definitely," I said as I sat down. "You may find this very hard to believe, Samantha...but I've never met anyone like you ever before!"
"I don't find that at all hard to believe. Where else would you have met a sixteen-year-old boy, who was somehow transformed magically into a sixteen-year-old girl, all by a fictitious medallion?" She shook her head and placed a cloth in her lap.
"You're no girl," I said, "You're a woman."
She rolled her eyes and laughed; "Now you're splitting hairs."
I looked at the dishes sitting on the table, "So...what are we having?"
She carefully removed the lid from a medium sized pot and began to spoon several scoops of a thick soup upon my plate. "Stew. I used some of the dried beef and other items you brought with you. Hope you don't mind."
I shook my head, "That's what they were brought for. Looks and smells really good!" I said as I filled my spoon with the thick stew.
She waited until I took a bite and began chewing, when I had taken a second, she smiled and began eating as well. Finally I paused and took a drink, "Back there, when you were asking me about kids, I never got around to asking you about what you wanted."
She shrugged, "Sure, I wanted a couple of kids, I just never imagined that they would grow inside of me...I don't know if I could ever carry a child...as a woman."
"Sure you could...and you'd most likely do a great job of it too!" I said, almost causing her to choke in her cup while drinking, "I'd bet you would...your body knows what it's supposed to do, whether you do or not."
She laughed, and set her cup down. "I suppose, but I don't know if I could handle getting to that point...of bearing children."
I took another drink from my cup, then began to dip some hard crusted, buttered bread into the soup broth that was left, "I'd bet you'd surprise yourself."
She again laughed, "Who in their right mind would want anything to do with me, I'm a freak!" She giggled to herself as she pushed around a potato, "I just don't think I could wrap my mind around being a...mother."
I sat down my spoon, "Samantha, you could, and you know something...I'd gladly be that man, if you'd let me." She closed her mouth, apparently forgetting our conversation earlier in the day.
"You're crazy," she sighed shaking her head.
"Sure...crazy for you," I replied, reaching out and touching her fingers. Her eyes fell to my outstretched hand.
"I...I don't know," she stammered. "How could you live with yourself, knowing that I was once like you...a man."
I smiled, "Who else will take care of you like I can? Samantha, I never knew another girl that I'd rather spend the rest of my life beside as much as I want to with you. Please say you'll marry me!"
She slowly pulled her fingers away, saying "I'll think about it."
"That's all I ask, just a chance to hear you say 'yes'." I drew my hand back to my side of the table.
"I never said...yes. I said, I'd THINK about it." She took a drink, and I could see her hand trembling.
She sat quietly, staring past me to the window. She had concern, furrowing into her brow, creating a worried look on her beautiful face. For almost a full two minutes, she would start to say something and hesitate, unable to form the words she was thinking. Finally, she cleared her throat and said, "I...I just don't understand it, Quin. I've told you all about myself, and you still seem interested in trying to woo for my affections."
I gave her a smile and took a drink as she continued, "Doesn't it bother you, knowing that I was once a male? You knew that I slept with a grown man, Kodiak, whom you know personally! Doesn't that bother you in the least?"
I looked at her quietly then I gave her hand a pat, "First off, I never knew you as a male," I answered, still unsure if her story about the transformation was true or made up in that beautiful, confused head. "Secondly, tell me the truth, did you ever make love to Kodiak?"
Her eyes suddenly dropped, looking down at where my hand was again touching her fingertips. "N...no," she said blushing, and then eased her hand away. "I like you, Quin. I really, really like you." She looked away sadly and stood up, as she walked away from me she spoke, her words were carefully measured so not to hurt my feelings. "I just don't know if I can go where you want to take me. Part of me, 'the female' in me, wants to say 'yes' to you, but the other part...the one who is still Sam, wants to run and hide!"
I sat up, dazed, "I thought..." Suddenly all of what I had imagined was only that...my imagination. "I thought you were flirting with me. When you came out wearing that dress, I thought you were doing that just for me." I suddenly felt so stupid! I ran my hand through my hair and shook my head. "I'll leave after I get your bed built..."
"No, you don't have to do that! I like your company, you make me laugh!" She moved around the table and crouched at my knees. "I just don't want to take our friendship any farther than it is right now, perhaps someday, then maybe..."
I hung my head with embarrassment and some sadness, "The way you were wanting to help me...just being around...I thought..." I sighed and looked down at her face. "Whenever you're ready, Samantha, IF you're ever ready, the offer's still open." I stood and walked toward the rails of the new bed. Without a comment, I busied myself with the work at hand.
I set up the bed in her bedroom, after removing the old one that had been Grandfather's, and began to thread the rope through the holes. While I was working, Samantha came in and was watching. "So the rope netting, is acting like the springs of a store-bought bed?" she asked, trying to draw me into a conversation.
I nodded, "When it's pulled tight, it will actually be a whole sight more comfortable. At least, that's my opinion."
"Clever," was her only reply.
Once done, I tossed the mattress with the straw ticking over the rope. I gave the bed a wave of my hand, "My Lady, your comfort awaits."
She sat down upon the edge as I fluffed a corner of the mattress with my hand, after a moment of bouncing, she lay backward. I sighed softly and continued to watch her lying upon the straw mattress. Watching the slow rise and fall of her young breasts...how I had wished to see her lay upon a bed like that, only...I wished it'd have been my bed.
"It's very comfortable," she laughed. "Much better than the old one!"
"Uh...thanks," I mumbled, silently wishing that she wanted me as much as I did her. "I...I think I'll go outside and see to the horses. If you need me, I'll be in the barn."
She sat up and smiled, "Thanks, Quin. I appreciate the bed."
Once outside I walked quickly to the building, a small door led into the corral that was attached to the barn, so the horses could be led inside and out. I stepped through the little doorway and leaned against the weathered siding, far into the distance the mountains seemed to glisten in the late evening sun.
I was so flustered; never before had I wanted anyone as I wanted her! She could arouse such an excitement in my loins and yet, she seemed so oblivious as to what she was doing to me. I looked up into the sky, the bright pinks and yellows of the setting sun seemed to make the nighttime glow, almost as if a painting done by one of the ancient masters.
I inhaled deeply and walked to the horses, my mind worked as a timepiece in a big city courtyard; always moving, always working to keep me from thinking of the girl only a few feet from where I stood now. How could I go back into that house and spend the night, knowing that not far from me was the object of my desire...just out of reach? I sighed heavily and pulled down the bucket, filling each of the feedbags with enough for the night. I hooked them onto the horses one at a time, then settled down to curry them for the evening.
I finished in the barn by pushing around some old straw that was still dry, giving the bedding a once over. I hung the pitchfork back on the wall and reluctantly, looked toward the house. It was dark now, as I made my way to the door. I pushed it open and stepped inside, again hanging my hat on the nail. I glanced up at Samantha, as I was closing the door. She had a pained expression on her face as she walked; it was then that I noticed she was limping.
"What did you do?" I asked, moving beside her.
"While you were in the barn, I went out to the privy, when I came back toward the house, I turned my ankle on a stone, then fell and banged my knee." She winced and I lifted her up and carried her to the rocker.
"Here, sit down and let me take a look at it." I waited, not wanting to be the one to raise her dress. "Uh...you may need to hike that up a bit...just so I can have a look at it."
She nodded and slowly raised it up; I carefully removed her shoe and sat it next to me. Gently, I worked off her stocking and held her small foot in my hand. I looked at the ankle first, which had a bluish cast to the pale skin, and it had a slightly swollen look to it. "Yeah, it's sprained alright. It'll hurt a might for a few days, best thing would be to stay off it for awhile." I let my eyes slowly wander up her glorious leg and onto the small cut upon her knee.
"Let me get a clean rag, we'll get you fixed up here in a jiffy!" I hurried and got what I needed and returned. Carefully holding the back of her calf, I began to clean the wound on her knee. All the while I couldn't help but admire the softness of her sleek leg. The thin, almost negligible hairs that grew upon its surface, made me want to caress my cheek against it.
Reluctantly I let her foot down upon my own thigh for support; she was leaning forward so she could see the damage for herself. I could detect the flowery smell of her as I inhaled; drinking in the scent of the woman I loved. I glanced upward quickly, noticing she was only a few inches from my own face.
Before I realized what I was doing, I leaned in and our lips touched. It was like a fire was set off inside my loins, suddenly flaring up before I could place myself in check; I backed away and let my eyes dance upon her startled face.
Again, I felt our lips touch, but was unsure whether it was Samantha or I who leaned in. We only held our kiss for a moment. Slowly, almost reluctantly, I backed away. "I...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that."
Her face was bright red, thankfully it wasn't from anger. "I...I understand." She gently let her dress fall; it covered my hands as they still hovered near her slender calf. Once I realized what she had done, I removed my hands and slowly guided her foot to the floor.
I stood and looked away from her, "I can't believe I just did that!" I groused, running a trembling hand through my hair.
"It's okay, really," she whispered.
"I promised myself that I would never do anything to take advantage of you...then I go and do something like that!" I frowned, angry at myself, still facing the wall.
I slowly turned. Her face blushed and she looked at the floor, "Maybe, it was I who allowed you the advantage." I swallowed hard, realizing what she may have been meaning. "Maybe I wanted the kiss...to see."
I knelt down and took her hand, "Really? Then, there's a chance?"
She leaned forward, "You have more than a chance, Quin. But, this is all going to take some time."
I smiled and drew her slender fingers to my lips. I closed my eyes I prayed that she would make her decision soon. So much did I want to take her for my bride, to hold her in my arms and love her as she needed to be loved! But I could wait. I would wait. If it took forever, I would wait out time itself for a chance at Samantha's love.
Chapter 19
It was late September that found me riding up the lane toward the old homestead, and my mind was occupied with the list I had been mentally checking off to be done before winter. For the last three weeks I had been able to leave the buckboard behind, finally finished with hauling supplies to the farm.
I reined up at the end of the barnyard. There was a strange horse tethered to the rail on the porch, so I cautiously climbed down and wrapped my own reins around the fencing. With steps as silent as a whisper, I approached the side of my house.
As I peered around the corner I saw Samantha on the porch with her arms folded, and in front of her upon the ground was a short paunchy drifter with blackened teeth. The looks he was giving her made me feel certain that she might be in danger. To my right rested the axe where I had anchored it into a log only a day earlier. Samantha wasn't expecting me, but I felt reasonably certain that she would be thankful for my sudden appearance.
I wrenched the axe from the log and lifted it to my shoulder, with bold steps I rounded the house and stepped quickly up onto the porch. I glanced down at the little man and leaned my axe against the porch rail. The man's eyes darted quickly behind me toward the woodpile, I was sure he had checked it out before he approached the house. There was a nervous shuffle of his feet as I smiled and left go of the axe's handle.
Samantha stepped quickly to my side and touched my elbow, "This is my husband, Quin." My eyes flashed her a surprised look, but nothing the man could see. She leaned in to my shoulder and smiled. "I think Quin would be the one to answer your question, sir." She looked into my amused eyes and gave me a pleading look. "Quin, dear, this is Mr. Ambrose...he would like to sleep in our barn tonight."
I looked down at him and remained silent for several seconds, the pause was just enough to set the little man on edge. "You just passing through?" I asked, keeping my voice calm.
"Yes sir! Be heading out in the morning, just as soon as I can get some rest." He looked down quickly, unable to withstand my steady gaze.
I pushed back my hat, and pointed toward the west. "There's a small abandoned cabin at the edge of the woods, it's about a mile from here. You can stay there...it isn't much, but it's dry."
He glanced toward the barn, "But, all I need is a night in the ba..." I never let him finish his sentence.
"Mr. Ambrose is it?" He nodded as I continued, "My wife here is a beautiful woman...but she has one downfall." I could feel Samantha looking at me, afraid of what I was going to say. I leaned against the rail, playing with the handle of the long axe. "Yes sir, that downfall really isn't with my wife at all...it's more MY problem."
The little man swallowed hard as his eyes darted down to the axe handle as it spun under my grip. "You see, she went and married a very jealous man."
Samantha shot me a quick look, "Yes Mr. Ambrose...it might be best for your own safety to stay in the little cabin. I'd hate for my husband to go after you like he did..." She pointed to the old grave of my Grandparents dog. "Poor Mister Buck."
I gave her a stern look and then turned back toward the little man with my gaze. "He just paid a little too much attention..."
"No...no...I'm thinking that old cabin of yours will be fine." Mr. Ambrose said as he backed away with his horse, the fear evident in his eyes.
"I can show you the cabin if you need me to," I shouted to him as he mounted his ancient horse.
"That's right neighborly of you...but I think I'll find it just fine." He never waited for me to answer. Instead, he threw his heels into the old horse and raced on down the lane, heading west.
I watched him disappear just over the rise, turned and gave Samantha a smile. "So, we're married now, are we?"
She held her hand to her eyes, blocking out the sun while we watched the drifter disappear into the distance. "I said that to get rid of him."
"You made me an axe murderer!" I laughed.
She pointed toward the dog's grave. "Yes poor, poor, dear...Mister Buck."
She laughed and followed me to retrieve my horse. "I thought you weren't planning to come out here on a Sunday?"
"I couldn't stay away from my wife...now could I?" I chuckled as I untied the horse. Together we walked him to the corral and led him in, and then I pulled my saddle from him and hung it on one of the stall railings. "How long was he here anyway?"
"Probably fifteen minutes, no more than a half hour, I was getting worried." She fingered the saddle horn, "I was actually thinking he might try and have his way with me, I was never so happy to see you come walking in!" She reached up and gave me a hug, a light kiss was dropped upon my cheek.
"And you weren't worried that I might try the same thing?" I smiled, changing the subject, "I brought you another dress." I handed her a small package that was pulled from my saddlebags.
"You have to stop doing this; it makes three that you've bought me!" She frowned, yet still opened it. "Oh Quin, it's beautiful!"
"Just like you..." I said as I watched her hold it up to herself, "I've been aching to see it on you."
Her eyes twinkled as she looked back to me, finally, arm in arm we headed back toward the old house.
As we stepped up on the porch I paused, looking toward the woodpile, wondering how much more I'd need to split before winter. Samantha paused and leaned against the rail, "How's your grandfather doing?"
I shrugged, "He's fine, but he keeps wondering what I'm doing out here."
"You haven't told him about me?" She lightly touched her breast.
I shrugged, "I wasn't sure if I should, because I didn't know how you'd take it." I reached out and took her hand, drawing her nearer to me. "I'd really like for you to meet him, because I think you two would get along really well. Although, his humor is sometimes suspect."
"Maybe I could make supper for him sometime," she said smiling. "I could show up with a picnic basket or something."
I smiled and gently held her, "You'd do that for me?" She never responded; she didn't have to. Her eyes were twinkling up at me, a slight smile played upon her soft lips. I couldn't help myself; I leaned down and kissed her upturned mouth tenderly.
Again, she said nothing, her face flushed and she quickly turned into the house. I followed her inside and hung my hat back on the oh so familiar peg. She quietly closed the door behind me and headed toward the kitchen.
With her back to me, I couldn't help but notice the feminine form that she projected; beautiful and womanly, begging to be loved.
She turned back toward me and caught me with a stupid grin upon my face; I felt my cheeks grow warm as my eyes dropped quickly to the floor. "Caught you!" was all she said, and I could only respond by smiling, followed by a shrug.
As the light disappeared in the western sky, Samantha sat quietly reading from a book. I sipped coffee and admired the woman I loved, bathed in the soft glow of the fireplace. She quietly stroked the kitten, only pausing long enough to turn each page. I sighed contently; enjoying the view I was offered, wishing that I was that kitten. She glanced up and smiled at me, her golden hair framing her face like a halo. I returned her smile, giving her a playful wink. She shook her head, laughed, then smiled and returned to her story.
As the evening drew to a close, I found myself stretched out in the little bed that Samantha once used. I was listening to the crackling fireplace down the hall and thinking of the beauty that once had slept in this very bed. I lay awake looking at the ceiling, studying the rafters above my head, some of them still with the bark on. I rolled toward the wall and gently let my hand glide over the flattened surface; it was a caress of a love that I wanted to explore; as if I was trying to reach through the wall, breaking down the barrier between Samantha and me.
Not far away lay the woman I loved, unsure of her place in my heart, unable to fathom the great gift that God had given us. I wanted her as my bride, to spend out my days, sharing our love for each other until the end of time. Could she ever get past her longing for a former life? Could she ever finally appreciate what she does to me, or the power that she holds over me? I doubted it, but somehow...I would continue until she was mine, both in heart, body and soul. As long as there was a shred of a chance, I'd never give up on her...on MY Samantha!
The Homestead - Book 1 - Part 5
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Chapter 20
I was up before the sun had risen; I silently brushed my teeth using the light that was from glowing coals in the fireplace. After spitting outside, I carried two logs to the hearth, and placed them in, banking the red embers around them. I quietly stood and paused at her door, looking in, gazing upon the woman I treasured. Samantha was asleep, her golden hair fanned around her face like the warm rays of the sun. I caught my breath; her look was so serene and peaceful. It was all I could do to not approach her slumbering form and smother her with kisses. It was best that I left and busied myself with chores.
I stayed away all throughout the entire morning, not even taking a moment to return for breakfast. Finally, my hunger was pushing me toward the house, it was close to noon. I slipped inside, and began to wash before Samantha even noticed me in the room. "Are you hungry? I made some soup." She asked, sitting a large bowl down, beside it she laid a spoon. "I thought you went home...that is, until I heard your horses in the barn."
"Are you going to eat?" I asked, as I pulled out the chair.
"I had already eaten when I thought you left. I was washing my dishes when I heard you inside the tool shed." She sat a cup of cool water at my place, "I thought you were mad at me." She studied my face, looking for a hint of anger. She found none.
"No...I'm not mad at you." I replied sincerely, "I just needed time to myself so I could think."
She smiled, "I do that too at times." She looked around, "Seems I have been doing it a lot lately." Samantha turned and walked into the kitchen, offering me a pleasant view that only helped to fuel my imagination. It was a vision of my beautiful Samantha, caring for my needs and those of our children. With a hopeful sigh, I returned to my bowl and ate, thankful that she was both beautiful and a very good cook. Each was items high upon my list that what I wanted in a wife.
After lunch, I headed outside and began to saw logs to length for splitting, working steadily until I had a great pile of sawn logs. I walked back up to the porch and retrieved my axe, then hesitated by the window, looking in on the woman I loved.
Samantha was standing before a tall mirror, and she was wearing the dress I had just brought out for her. God, she looked stunning with her full bosom, slender waist and rounded hips! I swallowed at the sight of her youthful beauty in its prime...and yet, so distant from my own embrace.
With a heavy, lustful sigh, I rested the axe upon my shoulder and returned to the pile. I bent down and stood the first log on its end, with one stroke, I split it in two halves. With each repetitive motion, I fell into a rhythm. I continued splitting the logs, all throughout the day, not stopping until long into the afternoon.
I finally finished and paused, wiping sweat from my brow. "Care for a cool drink, Quin?" I looked behind me as Samantha stepped off the porch, still wearing the dress I saw her trying on just a short while ago. I stood in silence, my eyes drinking in the vision she greeted me with.
"Wow!" I gasped, "You look really great!"
Her face blushed, "You're just saying that."
"Not hardly, you look stunning!" I replied wide-eyed as I slowly walked around her, and absorbed the view she offered to me. With a trembling hand, I received the cup from her and took a drink of the water it contained.
This was going to be a tough night.
Chapter 21
After supper, I went outside to feed the horses, watered them and gave each some clean straw bedding. As I moved about inside the barn, I could feel a slight chill in the evening air. By the time I had finished, I could actually see my breath as it floated out, as the vapor was highlighted against the lantern hanging from a peg.
I blew out my lantern, strolled out into the night air and headed to the woodpile. My only lighting was from the brilliant moon, high above, which provided plenty of light. There was a scent of hickory in the air, carried upon a faint breeze. I smiled; my resourceful feminine companion had already started a fire in the fireplace. I continued smiling as I picked up an armful of logs from the woodpile and returned to the house, eager to once again feast my eyes upon the girl I loved.
As I threw open the door, she looked up from the book she was reading. She was down on the floor, seated on a great pillow; Boots was curled in a small ball upon her lap. "I have more wood for the fireplace; there appears to be a chill in the air."
"I thought so too, that's when I decided to build a fire." She turned the page and returned to her book, using the light from the fire as her lamp.
I crouched down and began to stack the wood into the bin, then tossed a log into the fire and worked it deeply into the glowing coals using a long iron rod. Placing the rod back against the field stone fireplace, I sat down Indian style on the floor next to her. "What's that book you're reading? It sure must be interesting?" I said as I leaned against her, glancing over her shoulder.
"A book I found back in the bedroom," she said, holding it up and looking over toward me.
I leaned lengthways on my side, resting my head on my hand, "I never had much use for books, although reading them has helped me quite a bit, inside the store."
She studied me for a moment, then slowly smiled and continued to read to herself. I could feel my eyes growing heavy, but I fought it and began to watch the fire as the log finally took hold. "You want to read aloud some?" I asked, hoping it would help me to stay awake.
"I can if you wish." She paused and looked down at me. "This story is one of my favorites, written by a man called William Shakespeare."
I nodded, and was quickly swept into her reading. It was not so much being drawn in by the story itself, but more so by the melodic tones of her voice. I again felt my eyes drawing shut, being pulled further and further away from her sensual voice as she read aloud to me.
I lay against my pillow, resting comfortably. Outside, a rooster crowed and a horse whinnied. I could feel against my neck the kitten, Boots, as it lay curled in a ball. I smiled, wondering to myself how Samantha would feel, knowing that her kitten had deserted her for me. I yawned and as I opened my eyes, as I did, I noticed a bright beam of light crease across my face and pillow as I lay there. As I became more and more alert, I raised my head from my pillow; Boots climbed down and waddled into the kitchen where his bowl was kept.
"Oh...shit!" I growled as my back argued with my movements. I struggled to my knees and slowly rose up, "That'll teach me to sleep on the floor...dumb ass." I scolded myself. I threw another log into the dying coals, and then ground it in, hoping that it would be enough to take the chill from the room.
Returning the iron rod to where I found it, I glanced to the book on the floor. It was the one that Samantha had been reading. She too had fallen asleep where she sat...and I had been using her lap as my pillow.
Using the wall, I slowly climbed into a standing position, trying to ease my aching back to normal. I stretched and shuffled quietly into the kitchen. I started a small fire in the stove and began to reheat the coffee that we had last night for supper. As the fire took hold, I stepped outside and headed toward the outhouse privy. By the time I returned to the house, she was up as well brushing her teeth.
While I washed in the basin, she strode passed and draped a towel over my shoulder. "You feel like eating breakfast?" she asked.
I shrugged. "Coffee's fine enough for me," I said, as my eyes followed her as she moved about the kitchen. She went to the cupboard and pulled two cups down, then turned and leaned against the table.
I began to dry my hands, and then I gave her a wry smile. "Sorry about falling asleep on you, it wasn't like I didn't want to hear you read to me."
If I had been worried, her soft smile chased that from my mind. "Its okay, the part I was reading was very boring. Sometimes Shakespeare is like that."
I smiled and hung the towel on the little wooden dowel that spanned the tall posts of the table that the basin was resting upon. "I do love to hear your voice when you read, though." I gave her a very serious look as I began to brush my own teeth.
Her face reddened slightly, "Th...thank you, Quin." Changing the subject, she quickly turned and poured out the coffee. She took a drink of hers and made a face.
I quickly stepped outside to spit, feeling uncomfortable of her seeing me. I smiled as she was still making that face. "It's probably pretty strong." I chuckled, "It's good for you though, and it’ll put hair on your chest." I glanced at her and realized what I had said, "Uh...not that we want to be doing that to you."
She briefly touched her chest, and then quickly removed her hand. "Will you be needing my help today?" she asked.
"I have to split more wood and try to gather up some prairie straw for bedding." I spun a chair around and sat on it backwards. She glanced down, and then quickly turned to face the kitchen washtub.
I frowned at her action, wondering at the antics of feminine behavior, yet shrugged to myself and took another long drink of the steaming coffee. Finally she turned back around and sat down opposite me, keeping the table between us. Slowly she looked back up, her eyes meeting mine once again.
"I'll do the prairie grass while you split the wood." For a fraction of a second, her eyes danced downward, but stopped at my coffee cup. "Will that help?"
I nodded, "Or, we could work together; I like it when you help me." I drank some more and placed my cup back onto the table, "There's no need of you going off by yourself to help me do my chores."
She absentmindedly bit at her lower lip, "I suppose so...but I'm not going to wear a dress to do this work."
I smiled, "Sure, I'd like it if you wore nothing at all."
She tried to hide her smile. "Quin, you know very well what I mean!"
I laughed and stood, "Grab yourself a bite, change your clothes and I'll be waiting for you outside." I quickly swallowed down the bitter coffee, turned and headed outside toward the woodpile.
I had split several logs and was busy stacking what I had when she came outside, and I glanced up at her as she approached. She had donned old blue jeans and a long sleeve man's button-down shirt. Under that, I could just make out women's under-things. "These probably come closer to fitting me than your friend Kodiak's would have." I smiled and nodded at her sarcasm.
She bent down and started to help me stack the wood, I felt my eyes drawn to the way her boyish pants hugged her shapely bottom. Trying to remove my mind from her sensual pleasures, I again took up the axe and began to split wood.
Within an hour, we had gone through the stack of wood that I had already cut to length. "Looks like we need to saw some more." she observed.
I walked to the pile of long logs and picked up my gloves. I handed them to her and gave a knowing smile. "You'll be needing these."
She smiled and slid them onto her soft hands, at the same moment; I lifted up my big saw and rested it upon the long log. Without a word she took her end, grabbing the handle so we could begin to cut the logs to length.
As we worked, I watched her buttons come undone again. One by one they popped from their holes, opening up a great view for my eyes. I knew that it was wrong and ungallant of me to not say anything, but I couldn't help keep my lustful eyes from this scene. God, she was beautiful!
We stood in the warm sun, sawing for almost two hours straight. At last we ran out of the long lengths of timber. She leaned against the fence that ran toward the corral, her elbows resting on the rail. Once again I felt my eyes drawn to her creamy bosom, sweat glistening in the sunlight. I closed my eyes and sighed, wondering how much more of this temptation I could withstand.
I carried my cross-cut saw back to the shed, while Samantha drew a clean bucket of water from the well. As I returned, she was splashing the cool liquid upon her face. "I'll get you some fresh water," she said as she tossed aside the water she used then dropped the bucket back down into the deep well.
She returned the full bucket to the edge of the well, then handed me a dipper of water. As I took it, my eyes were met with her wet front, feminine nipples clearly showing through the gauzy material.
I had seen her naked before, but almost ill from her near drowning. This was different; she was awake and entirely unaware what her revealing was doing to me. I quickly buried my head in the bucket, allowing the entire contents to well up around my neck.
From my watery hiding place, I could hear her giggling. As I removed my head, water ran down my face and onto my shirt. "Feel better?" she laughed. "Or, are you trying to drown yourself?"
"Just trying to cool down," I replied, again wiping water on my face and neck, my eyes barely able to tear away from the little darkened, circles of heaven, hidden just beneath her clothing.
"Come on" she said, and then began to walk back to the woodpile. Once I returned, she handed me the axe. "I'll stack." She laughed.
All I can really say about the next hour and a half was...wow! What a view that I had, her constant bending over, seeing her breasts as they moved around in her loose clothing...it was a miracle that I didn't hurt myself with that axe! When we ended, I returned to the well to try and drown myself again, hopeful that the water would wash away the lustful images in my thoughts.
By the time I had finished at the well, she was done stacking. She had come back toward me as I just took the entire bucket and threw it over my head, letting it wash completely down my body. When I handed her the bucket, she laughed because the water had pasted my hair to the side of my face.
"Uh...I'll head on down to the meadow and get started on that straw." I quickly strode away toward my tool shed, as fast as my tired legs would carry me. I was afraid she'd see what she had done to me; I could already feel the stiffening in my crotch from that brief moment of being near to her.
"I'll be right down," she said, tossing the bucket into the well for her own refreshing cool water.
Chapter 22
When I want to try and push something from my mind, I do so with great earnest. I began to cut the grasses down with great swaths of the long blade, and as they fell, I gathered them up into a huge pile. Again and again this happened, until I wondered if Samantha would come at all. Finally as I looked up, she was standing not far away.
"Looks like you've been busy." She waited for me to pause, and then slowly walked over. "I brought some cornbread and honey." She raised a basket that she held in her right hand.
"Some cool water in the jug?" I asked, indicating the crock in her left hand.
She smiled, "To wash it all down."
I set aside my great scythe, leaning it against a convenient log. Samantha stood with the sun dappling the beautiful features of her face, "Uh...thanks." I stammered. Again, my eyes were drawn to the opening of her blouse; I took the jug and pulled the cork that held the water in. With one eye on her, I began to drink, then poured cool water on my hankie, wiping my neck of its sweat.
I could take it no more, setting the jug down I stepped to her side. Gathering the material in my hand, I gently pulled it together, attempting to remove the torment from my view. She glanced down and stepped backward, causing the entire length to unbutton.
I stood with my mouth open, unable to form the words of regret that perched upon them. Shocked, she angrily clenched her perfect jaw then screamed, "How dare you!"
She angrily shoved me backward. One minute I was standing, the next I was lying among the thick pile of prairie straw. Before I could rise up, she was upon me with her small fists. Each girlish punch landed no harder on me than a great horsefly, and each futile blow caused me to laugh more than anything, which only made her angrier.
She kept swinging at my face, which between laughing, I finally was able to grasp her wrists and roll her onto her back in one sudden move. "That'll be enough of that, Samantha!" I scolded, and then fought off another urge to laugh.
She was breathing heavily, her beautiful bosom rising and falling with each breath. She struggled again violently, throwing her entire body from side to side. Again, I held her still. "Please, Samantha, I wasn't trying to do anything to you."
"Get off of me!" she demanded. "If I was back in my old body..." She again tried to force me from my hold on her, squirming under my strength.
"I'm not letting you up, until you've let me say my piece!" I shook my head, still using my weight to hold her to the straw. "Your blouse opened up while we were sawing, but...I was just trying to close it."
Again she struggled, "Get off of me, Quin!" Eventually she sighed and finally ceased her struggle on her own. "I can close my own shirt...THANK YOU!" Samantha responded sarcastically.
I looked into her eyes, trying to be as truthful as I could. "Samantha, you're a beautiful girl.
You...sometimes do things that...well that, keep putting thoughts into my head." I let my eyes glance quickly, from her beautiful eyes to her soft, moist lips.
"Like what?" she snapped. "You tell me exactly what I'm doing, and I'll stop doing it right away!"
"Well, like just...looking so damned beautiful!" She looked back into my face with an air of shock. "I can't help thinking it," I said, softening my voice.
"Quin, you can't possibly find me..." I never let her finish, in that instant, I lost my battle. My lips fell gently against hers, their hunger being sated as they closed the distance between us in an instant. Her head struggled for only a moment, and then settled into a kiss with me. I eased my grasp upon her, but as soon as I had, I felt her hands upon my face caressing my cheek.
I slowly released her, as I did; Samantha's eyes began searching mine. "Do you realize what you're asking me to give up?" Her voice trembled, "If I were to respond in the way you seem to be longing for, I'd have to accept the very identity that I've been trying so hard to avoid!" She let her eyes drift away, as if her promise once again, began battling inside her mind. Finally, her voice softly replied, "Quin, I know that I said that I'd try...but, what you're wanting...would mean forever!" Her look revealed the turmoil she was facing, to decide between a life I assumed she once imagined, and that of her real destiny.
My mind raced as I realized that she was faltering once again. "Perhaps I could persuade her? Another kiss might make her realize what I felt in my heart, and melt the ice in her own." It was a chance, teetering in the balance was my relationship with this beautiful girl...but should I take it?
I again leaned down, compelled to kiss her slender throat. I felt her hands slowly drop from around my head and neck, as much as I hated to, I stopped. She stared into my eyes for several seconds, our words unspoken. My gaze danced between each captivating eye as if looking for an answer I so desperately wanted to hear. Finally without a word, she drew me in, placing my face near her soft lips. I obliged, and began to kiss her passionately.
It was me this time and my promise to her that caused me to hesitate. With a great effort, I pulled myself away, raised myself from her slowly and sat up. She also sat upright, and began to button her top. "I...I'm sorry, Samantha." I looked down at the yellowed grasses beneath my outstretched legs. "That's twice now that I've taken advantage of you like that..." Her eyes slowly drifted toward the prairie straw beneath me, I lifted her chin, forcing her to look directly into my eyes. "I want you so much that I can hardly stand it, Samantha...but I'll not have it that way." I picked at the golden grasses that were clinging to her hair, "I wish you'd love me as well, but I don't want you going through the motions because you think it is something that I want!"
She placed her hand upon mine, "Its okay...I'm not upset with you; at least, not anymore."
I smiled and stood, pulling her up along with me. "I guess...we'd better get back to work." I didn't want to, I would rather sit and stare into her beautiful face, but I knew that I must rein in my heart. It was one of the single hardest things I have ever done, turn away from the girl I loved.
As I took a step away from the pile, Samantha pulled at my arm causing me to turn back around. "Quin, if it's any consolation...I'm having strange feelings for you as well. And, I'm not sure how I should handle them, or if I even WANT to handle them." I said nothing, just stood watching her as she spoke. "You can't imagine what it's like to be a boy, suddenly transformed into a girl...then left to deal with feminine thoughts as they run rampant through my head!"
I hugged her as she began to cry, still trying to speak through her tears. "Sometimes I feel as though I'll go insane, forced to deal with those thoughts. Part of me wants to hold you like I know you wish, part of me wants to run back up to that mountain and throw myself from its highest ledge." Her sobs broke her down, she buried her face into my chest, I could feel the wetness from her tears. Still, I could do nothing, unsure at what to say to her. Instead, I held her close and gently stroked her soft hair, hoping that some great, inspired words would suddenly appear in my mind...I could say nothing. After all this time, how could she still think that she had once been a boy?
Samantha slowly pushed away from me and picked up the jug from where it fell into the pile of cut prairie straw. Reluctantly, I again took up the scythe and walked to the edge where I had stopped cutting. Behind me, Samantha fell to her knees in the cut grasses and began crying. She had moved to where I couldn't see her...but I could hear the soft sobs of a woman in turmoil with her emotions.
I gave her the space I thought she needed, keeping to my task, yet I really wanted to comfort the girl I loved. After several agonizing minutes, I looked back. Samantha was sitting quietly on the log, her eyes rimmed with tears. I paused and leaned against the scythe, "If you want, why don't you go back up to the house. I'll be fine here."
She never looked up, nodded sadly, stood and drifted toward the path back to the farm. I was sure that she was troubled about the feelings that I had shared...and perhaps those she was harboring for me. Yet in my clumsy nature, I didn't know what to say, let alone how to say it.
I hesitantly returned to my work, but my thoughts betrayed my real desires and my wants. After a few minutes, I glanced backward through the thin trees that lined the edge of this meadow. There she was, becoming a distant dot in the golden swaying grass that lined the path. "Damn...I'm such an idiot!" I angrily exclaimed, hoping that I didn't just destroy the one chance I had with beautiful Samantha.
Chapter 23
As darkness fell that cool evening, I slowly rode back to town. I was deep in thought, unsure of what my future with Samantha would be. After the time spent in the meadow, I was more certain than ever that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I was sure that Samantha knew what I wanted, but I doubted whether she would be so inclined to agree with me. I had never met another girl quite like her, beautiful and not afraid to work...the all around package that every man seeks in a woman.
I sighed, and then shook my head. If she wouldn't hang onto the silly notion that she once used to be a male, she might come around to actually enjoying what I could do for her. I smiled, imagining us again on the straw, but this time, my mind filled in what I had wished would've happened. How could I move past my want for her company? Did I want to even try? No, I decided. I'd wait for her to come around, even if it took years.
I mulled these thoughts over and over in my head, until I finally realized that I was nearing town. Within minutes, I guided my horse into our barn and stepped down. I removed the saddle and hung it over a rail, then saw to the care of my horse. I heard a movement behind me and turned slightly, there trotted Grandfather's faithful old dog, Gypsy.
"Hey there girl," I said softly, and then began stroking her fur. "Did you miss me?" She responded with a gentle wag of her tail.
I patted the old dog on her side and began to walk to the back of the Mercantile. In the window, I could see Grandfather's silhouette as he was looking to see who was approaching from the barn.
He met me at the door, opening it for both the dog and me to enter; in his hand he held a lantern, the soft glow more than enough to light our way. "I was wondering if you were planning on coming home tonight," he teased, and then bent over to pet Gypsy.
I laughed and walked up the steps that led away from his store, "You should see the place, Grandfather! It's really beginning to look like someone's living there."
"I'd like to see it, how about this coming weekend...if I'm feeling up to it?" He said as he took the stairs more slowly, waiting for Gypsy to squeeze past him and lumber up the steps ahead of the both of us.
He blew out the flame of the lantern and hung it on a hook, then walked with me into the main part of his house. As we entered his parlor, I took a seat on a couch that had been imported from back east, long before I had come to live with my elderly guardian. Grandfather sat in his leather chair, easing himself down slowly. "Grandfather, when you met Grandmother...did you know that you were going to marry her?" I asked.
He laughed and rubbed the stubble that grew upon his chin, "You find yourself a little girlfriend?"
I shrugged, "Maybe."
"Maybe?" he asked. "You either have or you haven't...which is it?"
I played with a small crocheted doily on the arm of the couch, "She beautiful, Grandfather. I'd give my life for her, but I'm not sure if she feels the same about me."
"She does know you care for her?" he asked his voice growing soft and caring.
I nodded, "I've told her that I was in love with her...she knows, only, I may have just blown any chance I had." I looked at Gypsy and I sighed deeply; she raised her eyes to me and thumped her tail softly against the floor.
He leaned forward in his chair, "Is that where you've been all these times? Out there trying to spark this girl, doing God knows what with her?"
I shot him a quick glance, fear building suddenly in my heart. When I saw the twinkle in his eye, I relaxed and smiled. "No, I've really been working on the house...it's just..."
"Out with it!" he interrupted, "We don't keep secrets from each other, Quin."
I nodded, "You're right, I need to come clean with you, Grandfather." I sighed; he had a worried look cross his features. I glanced away, and then forced myself to look him in the eye. "The girl, the one I love, she's been living at the old homestead. At first, I thought she was a squatter and decided I might chase her off...but instead..."
"You've let her stay there...haven't you?" he smiled his knowing grin.
I raised my eyebrows in surprise as he continued, "She's been there for quite some time, hasn't she?" Again I nodded, wondering just how much he actually knew.
He scratched at his white hair, and then stared at me for several seconds. "You need to decide if she's what you're looking for in a wife, or not. Would she accept if you asked her?"
I shrugged, "I've tried to ask her several times...I'm afraid that if I press her too much, she'll tell me no."
He frowned, "Has she actually came out and said, 'no'?"
"Not exactly, she just keeps saying that she'll think about it." I waited to see his expression, but what I received was something entirely unexpected.
"Well, she hasn't said no...So, the door's still open." He smiled then crossed his leg, pulling it up for the last few inches until it rested upon the other knee. "Is she pretty? What's her name?"
I smiled; at last there was something I was eager to talk about. "Her name is Samantha. She's very pretty, Grandfather. I've never seen a lovelier girl before in my life!"
He grinned, "What do you know about her folks? Are they good people?"
"She has no parents. Samantha ran away from the orphanage about a year or so ago. She found her way up the mountain, and stayed with Kodiak for the winter. Once he found a window in the weather he escorted her off his mountain. That's when she came to be living at the homestead." He stopped smiling when he heard my answer.
"You know as well as I do that the girl must have slept with Kodiak if she was on that mountain for the winter. She would have had to do that just to stay warm…and you know how Kodiak is about women on his mountain.. Did you ask her about that?" He leaned back in his chair, the movement made the leather skin on the chair groan.
"Grandfather, I did ask her and she said that they shared the bed only to stay warm. She said that not once did Kodiak ever try anything with her. I believe her, Grandfather...she has no reason to lie to me. Kodiak is a good man, he would never harm anyone unless they tried to harm him."
He took a deep breath and patted the arm of his chair, and the sound caused Gypsy to raise her head from where she had been laying. "Just be careful, a girl like that could spell trouble." He grinned slowly and then reached across to slap my knee hard. "Your grandmother could spell trouble, but that never stopped her from marrying me either."
He began laughing at his own joke, it caused me to chuckle too, though I wasn't sure if he had truly been kidding me. I decided that he was, although with Grandfather...you really never were sure.
Chapter 24
I gradually pulled away from the long porch, the morning was bright and clear. Meandering behind the buggy was Gypsy, trotting beside Grandfather and I as we headed out to the homestead. I felt a twinge of worry as I hadn't had a chance to notify Samantha about our surprise guest, but I felt she was pretty resourceful and would be prepared, nonetheless, for anything that might happen.
Behind us, in the back of the buggy, were some supplies that Grandfather insisted me to bring. He knew that life away from town would be rough for a young woman alone on her own and he wanted to take something to help make it bearable. He smiled when he caught my glance, "Oh don't be so worried, Quin, I'm not going to run her off!"
"I know Grandfather, I just never said anything to let her know that we were coming out today," I sighed deeply as I ended, still afraid of angering the woman I cared so much for.
He laughed again, "You have always gone there unannounced. Are you afraid that she'll meet us at the door buck naked?"
His comment caused me to laugh aloud, "It's pretty obvious that you don't know Samantha very well."
He gave me a playful elbow, "Apparently, you don't either...if you did, you'd be married to her by now! Besides, a woman is a woman...they only have one thing on their minds."
I felt my face grow warm, "Not Samantha, that's the last thing she wants to do."
He smiled, "Now what would you think that I was meaning?" He shrugged his shoulders and snickered, "All I was getting at, is every woman wants to be married to a successful man."
I shook my head, giving him a sideways glance, "Yeah, Grandfather, I'm sure that's what you were getting at."
He elbowed me and laughed aloud, but I knew my grandfather meant nothing by his teasing, and I was used to it. I sighed, thinking to myself, 'But would Samantha be able to take Grandfather's teasing?' I could only hope that she would be able to withstand it for the evening.
I grew quiet; the further we rode, the more afraid I became that Grandfather would not like Samantha, or that she would make him angry and he'd tell her to go. By the time we passed our outer corral, my stomach was entirely twisted in one great knot.
I pulled the buggy to a stop as soon as I reached the porch, quickly jumped down and raced to Grandfather's side. As one horse nickered, the door opened and there stood Samantha. "Hi, Samantha...uh...Grandfather wanted to meet you."
Her eyes suddenly showed fear, "I...uh...I just stopped," she stammered, trying to come up with a believable excuse to give the elderly man for her being here.
Grandfather laughed, "Oh don't bother, child, Quin has told me all about you!"
Her eyes quickly shot to me, so before she jumped to conclusions, I spoke. "Yeah. I told Grandfather that you ran away from the orphanage and found your way here, I told him that you met up with our friend, Kodiak, while you were on the mountain." I gave her a look that told much more than I needed to say, but finally she calmed down and stepped toward Grandfather.
He placed his arm around her and hugged her fiercely, "I can see why Quin's so hung up on you, if I were only about 60 years younger...I might give him a run for his money."
It was obvious that she didn't know what to say, her face grew red and she gave me a slight frown. I just smiled and shrugged.
Grandfather stepped inside the house and walked over to the hearth, slowly running his hand upon the mantle. "Made this with my own hands, sure was heavy."
I walked inside the house, carrying the box of supplies. Grandfather stepped across and motioned for me to set it on the table. "I don't like coming into a home empty handed, Samantha, I like to pay my own way...if you will."
Again Samantha gave me a look, but I could only give her a wry smile. We both looked up and Grandfather was watching us. "You going to kiss him or what?" He teased. Samantha didn't know what to say, but my grandfather continued. "Oh, for crying out loud, Quin. She wants a kiss, so give her one."
I hesitated, afraid that Samantha might slug me for attempting it. I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable, leaning in toward her, I felt our lips touch lightly. "Is that all the better you two can do? Hell, lovers are supposed to kiss like they mean it...not like a brother and a sister!"
Samantha frowned at him, which only caused Grandfather to snicker. Then turning to me, she smiled, saying, "Welcome back, Quin." Then she planted a kiss that curled my toes! I only wished that Grandfather hadn't been there so I could explore that kiss much, much further.
"That's better. At least you're acting like you mean it!" He laughed and began to set items upon the table from the box. He had just about anything a person would want, perfumes, soaps, creams and other types of toiletries and then there was food. Samantha blushed at some of them items she saw he had.
"Th...thanks, Sir," she stuttered, not exactly sure on what to say.
He held his finger into the air, “I am not some high-falooten city slicker even though I live in town…call me Grandpa, okay? I stopped being 'sir' a hell of a long time ago” He clapped his hands together, creating a startling 'boom' from the motion, causing Samantha to jump. "So, I guess I've got the back bedroom?" He said with a laugh?
Samantha turned, "You're staying the night?" Her voice sounded worried.
"Were staying for the night?" I asked, Grandpa nodded and smiled. I felt my stomach drop as I turned and relayed what she already now knew. "I guess Grandfather wants to stay the evening."
"What about your store?" she asked, searching for reasons that would prevent him from remaining longer than the night.
"Yeah, what about the store?" I asked, grasping at straws.
Grandfather laughed, "If you're worried that I'll get in the way of you two youngsters, don't. I'll be so quiet that you won't know I'm here!" He slowly began to make his way around the house, as if meeting an old friend once again.
I rolled my eyes, whispering softly, "I find THAT hard to believe!" Samantha heard and covered her mouth to hide the smirk, yet, neither of us was sure if Grandfather had heard what I said.
She looked back toward my grandfather as he was inspecting the bedrooms, "And where will YOU be sleeping?" I knew she was directing her question toward me and as I began to answer, Grandfather heard and poked his head around the corner.
"Oh come on, it's not like you two haven't been together...I might be old, but I ain't dead! You kids can have the big bed, I'll be fine in the little one."
Samantha gave a hard swallow; I could see her throat muscles working as she contemplated what Grandfather was implying. "I...I can't!" she whispered to me.
Grandfather walked back out into the room, "Look here kids, I know you two have been seeing quite a lot of each other over the past several weeks. I wasn't always old, I know what happens when you put two young folks in a big home alone...sooner or later, they start to explore."
I frowned which caused him to laugh, but Samantha was speechless. "I'm right, aren't I?" he chuckled as he walked past me and hit my stomach with the back of his hand, then headed outside.
I expected more of an argument from Samantha. She turned in a huff, but remained quiet busying herself in the kitchen with what would be our lunch. I walked out and stood by him on the porch, "Grandfather, you've put us in an uncomfortable situation...we've never slept with each other."
He smiled and rubbed his eye, "But you've wanted to...am I right?"
"Well, sure...what guy wouldn't want to sleep with a beautiful woman," I sighed.
"Nuff said," he chuckled to himself as he began walking toward the barn.
He paused at the woodpile, "There isn't enough wood yet to last her the winter...you planning to spend it out here with her?"
I followed him and stopped beside the pile, "I told her that if we didn't get enough, she might have to spend the winter in town."
He nodded, speaking bluntly, "Tell her that she can winter with us, and she can share your room."
My heart began to race, because that suggestion might just put her over the edge! I sighed deeply, and hurried behind him as he continued toward the barn.
Chapter 25
All throughout the day, I felt a strange uneasy eagerness for the evening to arrive. I wanted to be alone with Samantha, yet I was afraid of pushing her away. By night, Grandfather headed outside to the privy and Samantha quickly ran into the bedroom; it was her intention to change into night clothes before he returned. When he did, I hesitated at going to bed, hoping that I could out-wait him.
He finally sat down in the rocker, pulling it near the fire for light. "Go on to bed, she's waiting for you."
"Grandfather..." I whispered, "I can't."
He only made a motion with his head, so I sullenly stood up and glanced at the door. "You're eighteen, Quin. You two won't ever take that step until you've actually taken THAT step. Now...get in there and love your girl."
I could tell that he was determined in waiting me out, so I reluctantly albeit slowly stepped toward the bedroom as if I were approaching the gallows.
I entered the room and stood in the dark at the foot of her bed, and I saw that she was watching me. "You might as well get in, he won't hear of you sleeping on the floor," Samantha whispered softly.
I pulled my shirt over my head and placed it upon the chair where her dress was laying. I sat down and removed my boots and pants. "I can lie on the covers..." I whispered softly.
I heard her whisper desperately, "You actually think he'll let you get away with that?"
"What do you want me to do, Samantha? You say it and I'll do it!" I looked back at her head as it rested upon the pillow as I spoke.
"Just get in bed, nothing has to happen," she whispered.
I crawled in, clad in only my long underwear. She lay still, looking at the ceiling. Beneath the covers I felt her hand, and slowly I grasped it with my own. "I'm sorry, Samantha. I never thought he'd expect us to sleep together."
"It's okay; it was bound to happen sooner or later." Her whisper fell into my ears like the soft notes of a beautiful song. I turned in surprise to look at her.
"Really? You actually think that it would have happened?" I heard Grandfather pass the door, his shadow moved against the light as he shuffled to the back bedroom. As I followed his sound with my eyes, I felt a light touch against my chest.
Looking down, I watched Sam's hand as she gently caressed my chest. "I miss having a flat chest..." she sighed.
I closed my eyes, feeling a stir in my loins. "I'm glad you don't have one." I replied honestly.
I felt my body tremble, she sighed and rolled toward me and rested her head upon my shoulder. Her soft breath floated against the few sparse chest hairs that I had sticking out of the neck hole of the long-johns, her soft breath causing a tickle that raced into the pit of my stomach...and beyond. "I know the chances for me to return to my old self are probably lost, and I imagine I'll have to remain in this body forever."
I gently touched her slender arm as I pulled her into my chest further, "It'll be okay." I whispered, caressing her arm.
"I know," she sighed.
I gently hugged her, "No matter what, I'll be there for you, Samantha."
She looked up at my face, and then she suddenly began to gently stroke my tiny nipple with her fingertip! "Sam...you shouldn't." I gasped softly, unsure if she was trying to test my promise to her in the meadow, or if she really knew what she was doing to me.
She took a deep breath, and then she took my hand and rested it upon the youthful swells of her gown, beneath it laid the soft flesh of her breasts. "I know you've wanted to do this since you rescued me from the pond...I'm giving you your chance."
I hesitated; her nipple was growing stiff under my light touch. "Samantha...are you sure? There's no turning back after this." Her response was to gently press her hand on my own, forcing me to increase the pressure against her breast. In the soft glow from the outer room, I watched her close her eyes, this time she showed pleasure on her beautiful face.
For the tiniest fraction of a moment, I faltered... my promise to her raced through my mind like a runaway locomotive. Then, the realization of what SHE was doing pushed those negative thoughts aside. This was not the Samantha that was fighting with herself about once being a boy, this was a full-fledged woman... reacting to the embrace of one she loved. Could she finally be changing? Could she be accepting the role that she's in? I felt my penis tremble, the need for her company growing steadily in my loins. God, I wanted her, now, more than ever!
I let my thumb slowly stroke her nipple; it was strange feeling it swelling under my touch. Leaning in, I touched my lips against hers; our kiss was soft at first. Below, I could feel the tenting from what my body desperately wanted.
Our kiss became more intense, and then came the penetration of her tongue in my mouth. I felt as though I was on fire with passion, she closed her eyes, her breath staggering under our passion.
At first I wasn't sure if it was happening, then I felt it again. She had moved her hand to my rigid penis, stroking it through my clothing! After several minutes, she began to try and push the material from my body. "Are you sure you want me to remove my clothing?" I asked, my whisper sounding husky.
"Hurry, before I change my mind!" It was all she said, I didn't need to ask again as I quickly removed it and let my stiff penis swing suddenly free.
She began to push my hand from her breast, shoving it downward toward the void between her legs. Once there, she began to work my fingers so she could feel pleasure too. I obliged, wanting to give her the satisfaction she so craved...so deserved.
She gasped as my finger slid into her damp opening, and it wasn't soon after that she shuddered in my arms and gasped again. Momentarily forgetting what she had been doing to me at the time, as soon as she realized she began stroking me once again.
I kept at her delicate folds, working her vigorously until she shuddered again. She forced her head into the pillow and opened her mouth in a silent scream; the passion we were feeling was beginning to overwhelm us both. After she experienced her third shutter, she reached up and began to pull at my shoulder. It was her way of letting me know that she wanted me above her... that she was ready for me to make love.
I rose up, straddling her soft thighs with my body. She guided me into her, gasping erotically as it slid in effortlessly. For the split second that I hesitated, she cried softly, then using her lower legs, she pushed me in the rest of the way.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" I whispered again. She never answered; she only began to thrust her hips as rapidly as she could under my weight, matching me thrust for thrust.
I started slowly, making love with the woman I cared so deeply for. Our love had absolute passion, combined with the inexperience that was obvious to both of us. Still, she countered every thrust of my own with a slight raise of her own hips, her breath escaping with each push.
Again and again I penetrated her, no sounds were heard other than the gentle groan of the rope netting of the bed. She rose up her head and shook, her body trembling in delight. At the same moment, she locked her feet behind my back, drawing me deeper into her.
Within my mind a slow panic began to build; I could feel my body pushing me toward orgasm. I knew that unless she released me soon, I would shoot a potentially life changing fluid into her womb. Filling her with something that I wasn't sure she was ready to posses.
Quicker and quicker came the desperate feeling I was trying to hold back, but she continued to thrust her hips with abandon. I could feel the pressure beginning to rise up, until I was no longer able to maintain the hold on my emotions. In one great explosion, my seed was jettisoned into her lovely body, racing toward only God knows where. I felt my body convulse as another series of bursts followed the first, causing me to grunt softly into her ear.
As I finished, she was looking up to me. Without a word, she held my face in her slender palms. Slowly she began to rock her hips again, trying to regain the wonderful feelings we were experiencing before I exploded into her. After awhile I slid my flaccid penis from her and using my shirt that hung on the chair, cleaned myself off.
"Thank you," she whispered.
"No. It's you who should be thanked," I said, crawling back into bed, handing my soiled shirt to her so she could clean up as well.
She cuddled into me close and rested her head upon my chest. She sighed contently and looked up into the darkness at me. "At first I was able to fight my change." She said softly, "It was almost as if my soul was being reshaped along with my body, the more I came to know you, the more I was beginning to accept the fate that has been dealt me."
"And if you should become pregnant?" I whispered, kissing her moist lips. Her hand snaked to the back of my head where she entwined her fingers in my hair. As we broke our kiss she smiled.
"I suppose we should get married...just in case." Her eyes sparkled in the soft glow from the outer room, "Don't you agree?"
I kissed her neck; she gently guided my lips toward her breast. As I tongued her nipple, I felt her shudder lightly. Once again, as I suckled, I felt her fingers entwine my flaccid penis, only it was that way a short time. In moments, it was straining against her palm, once again eager for love's sweet release.
The Homestead - Book 1 - Part 6
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Chapter 26
I came inside from the barn, stood at the threshold of the door, and hung my hat. Grandfather was sipping his cup of coffee. The shaft of morning light split the darkness of the interior as I stepped through the doorway. Grandfather looked up at me and winked, at that same moment, Samantha stepped from the bedroom wearing the yellow dress that I bought her some time ago. "I trust you slept well?" he asked her.
She blushed and patted his shoulder as she passed, again he winked at me. "Yes, and I trust that you also slept as well, Grandfather." she replied coyly.
He almost spit out his coffee and began laughing, "Honey, it's been quite a long time since I've slept THAT well!" She shot me a smirk and I smiled back, it wouldn't take one of those big eastern college professors to know what had happened between us last night.
I slipped in beside Samantha as she was cutting up an onion and poured myself a hot cup of coffee; she glanced upward and blinked away the tears from the pungent vegetable. "He knows!" she whispered softly.
I sat the blue tin coffeepot on the back of the stove where it could stay hot, she was still watching me, waiting for an answer. I shrugged, "Of course he knows, I'm sure he can imagine what would happen if we were left alone long enough." I replied back, keeping my voice low and hushed.
"I ain't deaf, you know!" he barked out, without looking up.
I frowned and took my cup to the table. Pulling my chair out, I sat down and looked into his withered face unblinking. "Now what happens?"
He sat down his cup and leaned back in the chair, his eyes glanced toward Samantha as she began cracking eggs into a great, blackened skillet. "I've never tried to tell you what to do, Quin, I always figured that you were man enough to sort out your own life. What we have here is a problem that can only be solved one way."
"And how's that?" Samantha asked as she stood beside the steaming skillet.
His eyes danced between her and me, Grandfather nodded and began to play with the handle of his coffee cup. Using a cloth, Samantha took the pot from the stove and refilled Grandfather's cup as he outlined his 'master' plan.
"As I can see it, you two need to be married as soon as possible. Otherwise, you're going to be finding yourself in the family way real soon." He watched Samantha as she hesitated briefly, and then quickly returned to the skillet of eggs. Still giving the young beauty a strange look, he returned to speaking, "It's getting late in the season, weather's turning sharply colder. It'll be snowing before Thanksgiving. I think the two of you should move into town."
With a shocked look on her face, Samantha's head spun at his suggestions. "I don't think we need to be married just yet, and I'll not be living in town! Quin's been splitting wood, and hauling in..."
He countered, "I've seen your woodpile, I've seen the prairie straw you've cut, and it ain't enough to last out one of our bitter winters!" Grandfather looked up at Samantha sadly, "You'd be frozen dead by spring! As for the getting married thing...you got any better ideas? What happens when you end up in a family way? That'll embarrass both Quin and you to no end!"
Samantha sank into a chair, her trembling hand slowly rubbing across her temple. "Marriage...n...no...I can help Quin cut more wood...I can..."
"Look, honey. If you and he take everything you've readied so far, load it into my buckboard and take it into town, with what you have, and what I have in my barn...we all could be living pretty comfortable throughout winter. As it is, what's out there will only last until maybe January...February at the latest!" Grandfather looked over at me, "You know what I'm saying is true...out here, she won't survive!"
The look between us stunned Samantha. I was sure that no one would ever survive a winter in the homestead alone, and Grandfather was right, we HAD to return to town. I reached across and touched her soft hand. "He's right. I've figured as much for the last few weeks. We'd need an entire spring AND summer to prepare for a winter out here..." It tore my heart asunder to see the tears forming at the corner of her brown eyes. "Samantha, there isn't enough food. The animals would die...we'd die." Tears began to sting at my own eyes, "I'd never forgive myself if anything would happen to you!"
Grandfather stood and gently pushed back his chair, and then he walked to the stove and the steaming skillet. Using the old spoon, he stirred the eggs. He spoke gently, "Look at it this way, Child. I'm not trying to push you into doing something that I didn't think you wanted to do. Quin's a handsome boy, just about the only eligible bachelor in town near to your age. Once folks would know that you were out here on the farm together, and NOT married...they'd make life pretty rough on the both of you." He took out a crumbled ball of the cooked mixture and popped it into his mouth, gave a nod at its flavor, then continued. "Now that you two got past your initial fear of each other, you're bound to...ah...meet again and again." Samantha looked at me and then lowered her eyes to the table; I gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
"All I'm saying is you can move in with me and Quin...as his wife, and we'll both take care of you. That way, if any little ones come along... soon... it'll be born in town, where we have a doctor."
Samantha's lower lip began to tremble; she quickly jumped to her feet and raced outside, the door swung in her wake. I glanced at Grandfather, knowing that he meant no harm. "I'll go talk to her."
I knew that he felt bad for the way Samantha took his offer; it was unintended, yet sometimes Grandfather never realized what he was saying until it was too late. To him, being subtle was like throwing a brick through a plate glass window. He spoke as I slowly stood to my feet, "I can go talk with the girl, if you think it may help," he offered.
"I'll go Grandfather; there are some things that need saying from me." I gave him a wry smile and slowly pulled the door closed behind me. I looked across the barnyard, scanning for where she might have gone, and then headed toward the barn. Once inside, I moved toward the horses. "Samantha?" I called out softly.
"Go away!" She shot back from the horses' stall. "I don't need either you, OR your grandfather."
"He didn't mean for you to take it the wrong way, Samantha," I called as I approached the stall where her voice was coming from. "Sometimes, he's just comes across like that."
She stood up and pointed her slender finger at me, "With his help, you took advantage of me! I can't believe I did something so brazenly stupid as what happened last night! I feel as though I was trapped!"
"I didn't know he was corner me into sleeping with you, Samantha!" I shouted as I threw aside the gate, "Besides, it wasn't him who initiated the sex between us, it was you!"
"As if you didn't know what would happen!" she folded her arms and turned with a huff, showing her back to me. "Nor were you in any hurry to prevent anything from happening!"
"Please come, Samantha. Come back to the house with me and consider his offer," I pleaded, knowing full well that she was acting more feminine than she would care to admit by her response to me. She was just like any woman I had ever known, trying to walk both sides of the fence at the same time, saying one thing but meaning another. I sighed and looked down into the straw.
She came at me like a tigress, the fury showing in her beautiful face. "You lied to me, Quin! You said that you'd try and help me stay here on the farm... it's as if you're trying to get me to do something that you've always intended to do in the first place!"
I felt my shoulders slump, like the air was suddenly left out of me. "So...we're back to that now."
"I knew it was a mistake to try being a girl, especially when my mind still has a shred of maleness inside! And when I was in my weakest moment...YOU took advantage of it!"
"Me? What the hell was I supposed to do; you put MY hand on YOUR breast, and then ended up pushing it down to your crotch!" I threw my hands up and stormed into the aisle between the stalls. "I thought you wanted it; finally wanting me like I have always wanted you!"
"Wanted it?" she cried. "What I wanted was to be treated like any other boy...like the boy I once used to be!"
She was looking down, staring into the loose straw beneath her long skirt. I sighed deeply, "Sam...look at yourself. You're not a boy, last night proved that fact. It would have been impossible for us to do the things that we did, if you were male. Somehow, you need to get past all that and just accept who you are!"
I gently took her hand, Samantha looked downward at my initial touch, her shoulders slumped and she grew quiet. I heard her softly crying, and knew instantly that I couldn't look at her, because if I did, my heart would crumble like old mortar. "I'm sorry, Quin," Samantha whispered, her voice was almost inaudible. "I'll go to town with you." Her tone was weak with despair. "...I'll marry you."
I stood in the striped sunlight as it filtered between the cracks of the old barn, "Are you sure?" She only responded with a sad nod, her eyes still looking toward the ground.
We stood at the end gate of the stall, holding her in a gentle hug I stroked her shimmering, long blond hair. "I know this wasn't an easy decision for you, Sam, but I WILL make this promise to you, Sam...as long as there is life in me, I'll always put you first. Always!" I whispered, and kissed her forehead, slowly turning her face up to mine. "I'll make you happy, Sam. If it's in my power, I'll never let you regret your decision!"
The return hug she gave to me was nothing as I expected. It was defeated, like she not only lost a battle...but rather like she lost the entire war. Something deep within me was saddened, yet I hid it from her face.
By the time we reentered the house, Grandfather was spooning potatoes from the skillet onto our plates. Beside the potatoes was a generous helping of scrambled eggs. I quietly showed Samantha to her seat, holding it for her as a gentleman would. Grandfather looked at both of us and gave me a questioning look; I shrugged and glancing at Sam, nodded.
He sat down and lightly patted Samantha's hand, causing her to look upward. "It'll be okay, you'll see."
Samantha fought through a smile, and then exchanged a look between him and me. "I know," she sighed.
We ate our breakfast in silence, each deep with our own thoughts, yet I was sure that everything on our minds was all remarkably related.
Chapter 27
By mid November, Samantha and I had removed the last of the supplies from the barns. Everything had been taken to town, filling Grandfather's own building to its capacity. It was a daunting task to cart all of the wood that I had split into town, along with the several wagon loads of straw cut from the meadow. The few animals we possessed had been among the first of the items to go.
By now, the air was sharply colder and it had been trying to snow for the past two or three days. My breath hung in a vaporous plume overhead as I climbed into the seat of the buckboard alone. Bending low, I gathered up the reins and paused to look back at the farm...my farm. I'd return in the spring with Samantha. Together we'd build this farm into a gem at the foot of the mountain. Without fanfare, I inhaled the cool air deeply and gave the reins a quick snap, sending the horses slowly down the lane toward town.
The ride was quiet and somber. Even though I would be finally able to settle down with my lovely young bride, there was always that troubling discourse that ran just below Samantha's emotions. It was true that she settled into her role of wife without complaining, giving in each time I wanted her companionship in our bed. I guessed it was that way for a young woman, especially when she's facing the constant attention expected of a newlywed's life.
Deep inside me I wanted her to be a willing partner in our lovemaking, yet it seemed that she continued to only go through the motions that were expected of her. It was almost as though she really HAD been a male and in the final act of defeat, had given up all hope of returning to her former life. It was as though Samantha had truly surrendered to the form that she felt herself trapped in. It was very frustrating because I wanted her to be happy now that we were married.
These were my thoughts as I rode, and they raced through my head for the entire trip into town. Thankfully, they were eventually replaced by less troubling ones, as I turned down the street where Grandfather's barn could be easily accessed. I pulled up beside the big door and climbed down from the high seat and began to stack the last of the split logs that had been removed from the farm.
Tiny flecks of snow were stinging my cheeks as I dropped the last log onto the pile at the side of Grandfather's building. Nearby, Gypsy was lying at the doorway to the barn, her tired eyes surveying me as I stacked the wood. As soon as I had finished, I put the buckboard away and saw to the horses. The wind was icy cold, blowing through the open barn doors, as I tossed feed into a trough for the horses.
Pushing the door closed, I headed into the back of Grandfather's store. I held it open as Gypsy trotted in and slowly climbed the stairs to the upper rooms. There was a heavenly scent that drifted to my nostrils, carried down the steps by the dog's movement. Once I stopped to hang my jacket, I smiled, seeing that Samantha was busy cooking in the kitchen. Beside her, Boots was busy licking up a small saucer of milk.
She glanced up at me as I approached the stove where she was working. "All done?" She asked.
"All done. There's no more that I need to bring back." I gave her a squeeze from behind, slightly surprised that she wasn't in the 'blue funk' that had enveloped her since agreeing to wed.
"Careful," she said, gently pushing my hands from her waist.
I laughed and reached past her, dipping my finger in the concoction she was cooking. The effort got my hand a quick swat from the backside of her spoon. "That's for supper! Stay out of there!"
I stood smiling at her, and rubbing the soreness from my hand. "You seem to be feeling better," I laughed.
"A bit better," she smiled slightly, "now that I know that the illness I've had...has a name."
I heard movement behind me, and I turned to see Grandfather shuffling into the room. "Did she tell you?"
I looked quickly from him to her, "No she didn't...tell me what?"
"Well...there isn't an easy way to say...I'm pregnant," she grinned only slightly, almost as if the news wasn't as good to her, as it was for Grandfather and me.
"We're going to have a baby?" I lifted her from the ground and hugged her, slowly spinning her in a circle.
"Hold off there a bit, son, before you break her!" Grandpa scolded.
I quickly sat her down, "Did the Doc say when?"
"Sometime in the spring, he guessed around the first part of June," Samantha said as she laid the wooden spoon on the counter.
I looked into her eyes, and I knew that she was hiding something. "You don't seem very happy with the news...what's wrong?"
Even before I had finished the sentence, I realized what my own thoughts upon the road had led me to believe about Samantha. I was so very excited, yet felt a pang of regret for creating the life inside her womb like some animal on the prairie. All the while I wondered whether she would accept the child as her own and take care of it as any mother would care for her own. I forced myself to stand a little taller; searching for an inkling of the joy she should be feeling in her eyes...yet, at the moment, I saw nothing.
We said no more about it until later, when we were alone in the bedroom. I gently pushed the door closed and turned to face my wife. "Okay now out with it. Usually, news like this is a big deal among a young family. Please tell me what's wrong."
She stood before the mirror, clad only in her sleeping gown. She smoothed the material on her stomach and sighed, "You're not the one that's going to have a child growing inside your belly."
"That's how it's supposed to happen, Samantha." I smiled weakly as I threw back the covers, "The man does the 'deed' and the woman carries the seed."
She glared, staring me down in the mirror. "Watch it mister! I was supposed to be the one doing the deed too!" From the slight turn she had, I could see the tiniest amount of swell in her lower stomach. Finally, she sighed deeply and returned to our bed. "I guess I should have figured on this happening, given the chances we've taken since we married."
I rolled onto my side and kissed her cheek, "Perhaps it could be when we first slept together?"
She sighed and slowly shook her head, "It doesn't matter, what's done is done...I guess I just have to accept it as my life now."
"Being a woman...or motherhood?" I asked.
"Both," she sighed and rolled away from me, facing the other wall.
I turned down the lamp and pulled the covers up around our necks, somewhat disappointed that she wouldn't let me celebrate the news like I wanted. Instead, by her reaction of the news she seemed sad and subdued, more like a funeral than that of a birth.
As I rolled to face the window, I could see a light flurry of snowflakes outside. This darkened room was hiding the thoughts we both were feeling, keeping from one another the worry on our faces. I wanted to shout my joy to the heavens, announcing to all that I was about to become a father! Samantha, I was sure would come around to the idea eventually, only...the soft sobbing behind me was enough to smash any idea of glee upon my heart.
Finally, when I could stand it no more, I rolled over to face her. "Samantha," I whispered, "Don't cry...this is a good thing!"
"This isn't the way I expected my life to play out!" she wailed. "A new mother isn't what I had aspired to be!"
I rolled over onto my back, "What did you want to become when you got older?" I whispered into the chilled room.
"I wanted to become a MAN!" Again her desperate cries were muffled under the blankets as she buried her face into their layers.
Returning to my position, facing the window, I felt a tightening in my throat. All of this had left me wondering if this was how our lives would always be? 'Would I be forever reminded that she believed that she used to be male and was somehow transformed beyond her will...into that of a female? Could she ever accept the child that was growing as the creation of a union between the two of us?' The questions fired into my brain in rapid succession, until from growing weariness, I fell asleep.
Chapter 28
Morning came and I rolled from the bed, sitting on the edge, I looked back to my lovely wife as she slept. In the early light seeping through the window, she lay without the worry of our previous evening's talk; looking more beautiful than ever, she dozed, her mind silent and peaceful as the look upon her face. As I sat smiling, she slowly fluttered her long lashes and reluctantly opened her eyes.
"Good morning," I whispered.
She smiled and stretched, the cover falling just below her covered breast. "What time is it?" she whispered.
I pulled my pocket watch from the stand, "5:45." I replied, closing the cover.
I stood and began searching in the dark for my pants. "Hey," she whispered.
I paused, "What?" She slightly scooted to my side of the bed.
"I want you to know that I'm not mad at you for what happened to me." She reached out and touched my leg, "Getting pregnant takes two, a man and a woman."
I smiled in the darkness, "You just figuring that out now?"
I wasn't sure how she would take my comment, but her laugh set my mind at ease. She continued without replying on my last statement. "I didn't sleep well last night because I did a lot of thinking. I realize now that what we did was only natural, just as what nature did as our result. I know now that I have to accept it, and sure, it will take some getting used to the fact, but I'm willing to try!"
I sat down on the bed and waited for her to settle onto her back, she draped one arm across my legs. "You telling me that you're now willing to accept being the mother of my child?"
"Yes." Her face was turned upward, the light glowing softly against her cheek. "I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you!"
Bending down, I kissed her soft lips, "You don't have to do anything, and your word is enough."
I felt her lightly brush the side of her finger against my crotch, causing me to quickly look down, "What's with the sudden change?" I asked, my breath slowly easing out from the feeling that I was experiencing.
"I can't change what happened to me, I have to figure out a way of embracing it instead." She manipulated me gently, "If giving pleasure to my husband is one way of convincing him... I can be like any other woman and do that for him!"
I pushed her hand away, "I'll not have you doing that to me without it being willingly, not just because it is expected!"
She sat up and kissed my shoulder, "I have to start somewhere, Quin. One way or another I need to be able to accept this hand I've been dealt and move beyond it." Again I felt her light touch upon my rapidly swelling penis.
Chapter 29
Her acceptance was enough for me, as the weeks and months rolled by, she grew rounder and rounder with the child she carried...our child. By early May, she was huge, and feeling as pregnant as any woman would.
I had been helping Grandfather with the store, while she helped with the house. And although her role grew less as her belly grew more, she seemed to be content with the role that she had suddenly found herself inserted into.
I walked into the store, paused and stamped the heavy late spring snow from my feet; Grandfather was sitting on his stool behind the counter. This was the sixth big snow in a row that we've had in a row since late march. "Be damn glad when it quits the snowing! One of the fella's told me this morning that the pass is all plugged up and nothing can get through!" he growled.
"It'll quit soon," I replied as I tossed my jacket behind the counter. "All we need is one warm spell to melt all this snow away."
"It'll never leave...we'll be stuck with it for months!" he snapped, frustrated with the seemingly long winter.
He thumped his pencil against the pad he was writing on, "That ain't the half of it, Quin." He wanted to say something; I knew he was holding back.
"Come on, Grandfather, I know you have something to tell me...so, out with it!" I folded my arms and stood before the counter.
"We need supplies...and soon!" He frowned, "We haven't gotten anything since last fall, before the winter hit! Everything is either out, or running very low!"
"It'll come soon," I said smiling, "Have you tried to telegraph your supplier?"
He nodded, "They aren't going to come this far until after the snows melt. They told me that the nearest place they could come to us, would be at the town down on the forks."
I shrugged, "I'll go pick up what you ordered, and I can use the buckboard! I know a way to get around the pass in this snow."
"What about Samantha? She's due to pop in the next few weeks!" He seemed surprised, but willing to grasp at any straw to keep his store open and provide supplies to the people in our area.
"What'll it take, a week...maybe two?" I asked.
"Probably closer to two, but it would depend on the snows between here and there!" He glanced up the stairs, "What about Samantha? What will you tell her?"
I followed his eyes. "You're here; you'd help her wouldn't you?" He nodded.
"Thing is, would she let you go?" he asked. "She may not want to be around an old coot for very long."
"I heard that!" she shouted down the stairs. "I'm not afraid of being around an old coot while Quin is away getting supplies!"
I looked at Grandfather and smiled, "There. See?" I said, laughing. "When do you want me to leave?" I asked.
"Is tomorrow morning too soon?" he spoke, with a hint of worry in his voice.
"Tomorrow's fine," I answered.
I arose from bed long before the sun was up, kissed Samantha on her cheek then carefully placed my lips upon the round ball at her midsection. I quietly tip-toed down the stairs as Boots scampered by, heading up the stairs on his way to my vacated and warm spot in the bed. I let myself out as soon as I fixed my pack, heading through the soft snow toward the barn; there I hitched the team to the wagon.
Even before I finished, I felt a slight tapping on my shoulder. "Are you going to give me a kiss before you leave?"
I turned around, and there stood Samantha with a heavy shawl around her shoulders. "I gave you a kiss while you slept." She shivered when I held her close, "You better get back inside the house before you catch a death of a cold!" Bending down slightly, I kissed her upturned mouth, never before had I felt the type of love in her kiss as I had felt in that one.
She smiled, still supporting her belly with her hand. I lightly swatted her backside as she turned to walk away, and she paused and laughed. "Go on...get back into the store, crazy kid," I teased. She waddled across the yard and returned to the house, turned and waved as she disappeared into the warmth of the building.
I finished hitching the team and slowly rolled through the snowy streets as the sun was just breaking the horizon. Two weeks, I thought, two weeks away from those I loved. I sighed and gave the reins a snap, sending the team into a slight canter away from my wife and Grandfather. "Take care, my love," I whispered, as I watched the shop disappear behind me in the distance.
Chapter 30
My back was aching something fierce, all from sleeping on the hard ground during the evenings of my journey. It had begun to warm up and that created quite a bit of mud where the snows weren't as deep. Finally, when I saw the old mining camp from the last rise in the road, I was thankful and eager to spend at least one night in a soft bed.
As I rolled into the wide-open town of Cold Forks, I couldn't help but remember how much it had grown since I last saw it with Grandpa when I was just sixteen. Once a mire of dusty tents that lay at the end of a rail spur, now was booming with buildings and businesses that catered to the mine workers and a few settlers who dotted the surrounding countryside.
I pulled to a stop in front of the railroad office, which was nothing more than a shack hastily built to protect the man inside. I pushed my hat up and squinted down at the him, "I'm here to pick up an order from the Joshua Hanson Company." I slowly unbuttoned my jacket as I sat, it had almost grown too warm to wear it.
"Your order came in yesterday morning. I stored it in our warehouse back yonder. You wanting to load it right away?" He jerked his thumb toward the 'warehouse', it was nothing more than a dilapidated shed, once used by the mine.
I felt a stab of pain from my tired muscles, "I'll load it up in the morning, I'd like to stay the night and sleep on a good bed. This place have any decent hotels?" I asked, looking over the long, muddy main street.
He gestured toward the furthest end, into the direction I was already facing. "The Anderson has some good beds; if I was a traveling fellow, that's where I'd bed down." He smiled, "They also have a saloon with some ladies that will do just about anything for a gold piece."
I frowned, "No thanks, I don't think my wife would appreciate that very much."
He shrugged, "Suit yourself. The way I see it, what she don't know, won't hurt her."
"Perhaps, but I'm not going to take any chances." I looked down the street and clucked at the horses, they began to pull away, flipping mud as the turned.
He shouted, "You can load as soon as I open...be here at 8:00 a.m." I nodded and continued moving down the muddy street away from him.
Not far from the hotel, I spied a Livery Stable and guided my team toward their red barn. A man stood from his bench and stepped out to take the bridal of the horse team. "You looking to bed these down here all night?"
I nodded, "How much for food and water as well?"
He eyed the team and smiled, and I noticed that his entire mouth was void of teeth. "Eight bits."
I grumbled, "Isn't that a bit high?" He only stood smiling like a simpleton. Finally I dug into my pocket and retrieved my coins and tossed them to him. He waited for me to climb down and grab my bedroll. "For eight bits, see that they're well fed."
He laughed and slowly turned the horses into the barn, for what he was charging, I was going to let him unhitch them as well! I headed across the street to the hotel, each step sucking like walking through a bog. From where I was, I could hear the tinny sound of the saloon's piano.
I paused as a horse and rider passed, then I trotted up the steps and stomped what I could from my feet, then entered the door for the hotel. Overhead a small bell tinkled.
"What can I do ya for?" said the elderly man behind the counter, giving my feet a cursory glance.
"I need a room for the night; nothing fancy, just clean." He spun his book around and pointed to it for me to sign, as I was signing, he tossed a key onto the counter.
"Top of the stairs, room's the third to the right." He returned the book to its original position, blowing softly upon the ink as it dried.
"Any place nearby that I can get some food? Been on the road awhile and I'm real tired of eating my own grub." I waited as he looked out of the window and contemplated his decision.
"I'd go into the bar and eat; it's as good as any in town. Besides, if you've been on the road for awhile, you probably will be needing a drink anyhow." He smiled and pointed to a set of double doors that led into another room, the etched glass was milky in color. Behind the doors I could still make out the piano's happy tune.
I dug into my pocket and pulled out several coins, "How much for the room?"
"Four bits." He said. I groused quietly and tossed the coins upon his registrar, thankful that I'd be leaving in the morning.
Without another word, I left the old swindler to his books and pushed open the doors. The sight that met my eyes was one of awe. Before me were several girls upon a stage, dancing to the tune of the piano player. Pausing to allow a barmaid to pass, I took a seat at the back of the tables. Nearby was a group of men playing a game of cards, seated upon two of their laps were very pretty and scantily clad women. Prostitutes, I imagined.
One young woman moved across the room, she was unkempt and sullen. As she finally stood in front of me she looked back over her shoulder. "I'm here to take your order...what you having?"
"I'll have a steak and a beer," I said to her evident surprise. She stood a few seconds longer, causing me to look up. "That's all I need, Ma'am."
She looked relieved, and quickly returned to the bar to place my order. When she returned to the table, she set down my glass. "I put in your order; it won't be too long coming."
I nodded and sipped on the drink. She hesitated and then returned back to the bar where I watched a small man speak angrily to her. I began to look around the room, following the stairs up into the second floor where my room would be. Overhead, a thick blue haze hung, smoke from those patrons filling the air above. I watched the girl who took my order; she was very cute, probably close to Samantha's age. She was shoved toward a cowboy who was sitting on a stool; he gently pushed a small glass at her. I could tell that she was reluctant to drink, but from the prodding of the little man behind her, she downed the glass.
When the cowboy began groping her she slapped his face and slugged him, but this only made him laugh...and the little man frown. Surely this girl must be in training, and that was too bad. Had she lived back home, she might have had a young fellow courting her in no time. With an angry look in passing, she pushed past the little man and continued walking behind the bar. I said nothing; what business was it of mine how this boss dealt with his employee?
While I ignored what transpired between the man and the girl, I listened to the music and the one or two singers who took the stage. A small throng was keeping me from seeing the program entirely; their constant talking was even making it hard to hear those who were singing. I downed the last of my beer and pushed it away from me, deciding to have only one more beer with my meal.
Soon enough, the young lady returned to my table with a steaming steak, smothered in cooked onions and small potatoes. "That'll be two bits for the steak and the beer."
I pulled out a dollar coin and pushed it over to her, "Keep the change."
She took it and studied me for a moment, "Can I get you anything else?"
I smiled, "No ma'am...this'll be fine."
She began to turn and hesitated, "Another beer, perhaps?"
I looked at the empty glass; froth was sliding down the inside. "Sure, I guess I'll have another beer."
She smiled and quickly walked back to the bar, as she did, I saw the little man head out the front doors and into the street. She watched as the door closed behind him, then brought two beers back toward my table.
"I only ordered one," I reminded her.
She smiled, "I know. The other one is for me." She handed it to me and pulled out a chair, she took a seat and planted herself down in a most unladylike fashion. "I'm taking a break!"
I shrugged and began to cut the succulent steak, while she took a sip of her glass. "Thanks for not wanting to...you know."
I nodded, chewing at the steak. "I couldn't. I'm married. My wife would kill me!" I said smiling.
She took her slender finger and wiped away some of the foam that collected on the rim of her glass, "I ain't always been like this."
I said nothing, only glancing up as she continued speaking. "One time, seemingly long ago, I used to live on the street." She watched me for reaction, and when I gave her none, she went on. "I once was...actually a boy."
She leaned forward, "He has some sort of necklace. He touched it to some material and then pushed it into me...what you are seeing...this...is the end result!"
I fell back into my chair and began to drum my fingers nervously against the table. My mind was suddenly flooded with the story told to me by Samantha! Somehow, the entire thing was true! I now had a way of helping her return to her form...but did I want to? With slight hesitation, I whispered, "Can you get your hands on the necklace?" I asked, knowing that it was the right thing to do, considering how much she hated being trapped as a woman.
"Not hardly, he keeps it locked in his safe, and the only key to it, is on a chain around his neck. He's transformed almost every girl in this saloon!" I began to look around; some of them were kissing and petting those whose laps they set upon. "That's right; some of the girls have grown accustomed to what they've become. Not me...first chance I can get out of this form, I'm gone!"
I rubbed my chin and took a long drink of my beer, and she watched me with a curious eye. "You don't seem too surprised by what I just told you." She whispered, "Most guys would be either running away...or trying to bed me and see if the story is true! Why?"
I looked around then whispered, "I have a very good reason to believe you."
"Oh? And why should you believe some addle brain kid?" she folded her arms under her youthful breasts, and then dropped them to her side when she realized that they only emphasized their presence.
"My wife once told me of something similar happening to her almost two years ago. I always suspected she was making it up...but now, your story..." My voice drifted away.
"She married you? She must be one of those transformed...who accept the change!" She glanced toward the door, "I think if I could get my hands on that thing, I can change myself back!"
I heard very little of what she said, I was staring into the reflection cast by the liquid in my glass. My mind occupied with what I wanted to do and what I knew was right to do. Taking a deep breath, I looked up and asked, "What if I was to help you regain the necklace? Could you then show me how to return my wife back to her original form?"
"I suppose so, but you'll need an article of her clothing from when she was still male."
I frowned, "I'm not sure if she has anything like that. Besides, it'll have to wait until after she's had our child."
"She's pregnant?" The girl whispered in astonishment. "If that's true, I don't think she'll be able to change until after the baby is weaned. I think it has something to do with the powers contained in the necklace."
I looked into my plate and picked up the knife, "Then I guess, once she's through breastfeeding our child, I'll give her a chance to return back to being male." Once again I attacked the steak, fueling my body for the adventure ahead.
"If she wants to..." she said softly.
I glanced up, "Oh, she'll want to. I'm sure of that."
The girl suddenly stood up and glancing toward the outside doors in fear, hurried back toward the bar. I wondered why she moved so quickly, and then I saw that the little man had reentered the saloon. He was scowling in my direction, apparently because she had been caught 'sitting on the job'.
I quickly finished my meal and stood, dropping another coin for the second beer that I had been given. Without a word, I walked to the end of the room and began to climb the stairs. I decided that I was going to let her make the first move, especially since I had no plan.
The Homestead - Book 1 - Part 7 (The Conclusion)
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Chapter 31
Sometime after 4:00 a.m., I heard a soft tapping at my door. I rolled out of the bed and quietly shuffled across the room and pulled the door open. It was the bar maid who had spoken with me, "How serious were you when you said that you'd help me get the necklace?"
I opened the door and ushered her inside, then looked down both directions of the hall to make sure no one saw her enter. "Do you have an idea on how to get it from him?"
She smiled, "I've already started." I glanced at what she was wearing; the silky sleeping gown was very provocative and sexy. "I've finally agreed to allow him to train me in the finer aspects of my sex, so he's supposed to come to my room in half an hour. You can hide out there and bash him over the head once he enters."
I rubbed my chin, "I don't like the sound of that idea." I whispered, "Why don't you just drug him and while he's sleeping, then get the key from him?"
She smiled brightly, "That'll work, and I have just the stuff that should put him into a deep sleep!" She rubbed her dainty hands together, "I can't wait to make that bastard pay for what he's done to me!" The cursing sounded so strange to be coming from the lips of such a lovely, young girl.
"Let's not forget what he's done to my wife and all of these other girls!" I spoke, flexing my jaw with anger. "After you're done with him, that necklace is mine."
She grabbed the door handle, "Those girls you're talking about...have already lost claim to their former male identities, they've been in those bodies for so long that they wouldn't know what to do if they were to be changed back! Most of them have been women for years, you're looking at the last one to be changed into a female!" She frowned, "Now, get dressed and follow me, we'll have to hurry if we don't want to be seen."
Chapter 32
I stood in the darkened closet and listened; from the happy tone of her voice, I could tell she was smiling. "Come in Mr. Taggert, I've been expecting you." I heard her gently close the door.
"Amber, I'm surprised that you've finally come around to accepting your form." He spoke so softly that it was hard for me to hear his voice.
"I want to be able to make more money than by being a bar maid. I was hoping that you'd show me how." The young woman's sexy sounding voice was moving about in the room, and then I heard her pop the cork on a bottle. "Would you care for a drink, Mr. Taggert?"
"Don't mind if I do, I always enjoy drinking in the company of a beautiful woman," he laughed.
"Even if that woman used to be a boy?" Her voice took on a sharp edge.
"Surely, you still aren't holding that against me?" he replied. I was beginning to become afraid that the girl would anger him, and cause her ruse to fail, yet her giggle caused me to wonder at her actions.
"Mr. Taggert, I have something better to hold against you." Her voice suddenly became sultry; the stunned laugh by the man left no doubt what she was implying.
I heard them kiss then the woman spoke lustfully, "Would you care for another?"
"Kiss or drink?" he asked.
"Why, Mr. Taggert... are you flirting with me?" Her melodious giggle drifted to my ears. "Why not a bit of both?" Again the sound of glass on glass was heard, followed by a slight bubbling sound as the liquid was poured once more.
"Let's sit on the couch, Amber," Taggert suggested. “We can be more comfortable there."
I heard them sit down; her rustling gown gave me a clue to what was happening. "No one would ever believe that you were once a boy! You've become so firm and round. Quite contrary to what you once possessed!"
She giggled, her soft voice made me feel uneasy about being in the same room with a couple having a romantic interlude. There was a long pause with the sound of kissing, then she sighed and laughed, "Mr. Taggert, if you fall asleep we can't have all the fun you promised me."
I heard him try to speak, but his voice was slurred as if he were drunk. "Oh, poor Mr. Taggert, you just couldn't stay awake long enough." Her voice dripped with sarcasm.
She began to move, and I heard her return the glasses to the table, "Its okay now, Mister, you can come out." She spoke in her regular tone, from the tone, I knew that she was talking to me. I gently pushed the door open and stepped down onto the floor.
"That didn't take long," I observed.
"You want the fastest working stuff when you're forced into sex with men...and don't want it!" she sneered at Taggert as he slept; pulling the chain that held the key, up over his head.
I pointed at the prone man, "Do you think you can get to the necklace without being seen?"
"I'm not sure, there's a guard outside his office door, but I'll give it a try." Then with a wicked smile, she picked up the bottle that she used on Taggert; it was still more than half full. "You sit tight, this shouldn't take too long." With that, she opened the door and stepped into the hall, closing it quietly behind herself.
The wait was agonizing, because I was so afraid that she'd be caught and our plot discovered. After almost an hour, the girl returned to the room. "It took a bit longer; the guy wouldn't go to sleep." She made a face, "I thought for sure I was about to be raped by him!"
"The drink took effect then, eventually?" I asked.
She smiled, "That, and a good rap on the side of his head with the empty bottle!" Then she reached into the deep portion of her cleavage, "I have this, though!" Holding her arm extended, she removed a cloth that was shrouding it and let the necklace fall, at the bottom, a small medal spun.
"That's it?" I laughed, uncertainly. "Are you sure?"
She shrugged her slender shoulders, "There's only one way to find out for certain." She allowed the necklace to touch the skirt of her sleeping gown. Then the young girl allowed the necklace to touch Taggert's hand, slowly she looked up. "Well, now we only have to wait and see." As she rose, the medallion brushed his sleeve and swung back against her arm. "Oh...that was odd!"
"What happened?" I asked, still focusing on the strange softening of Taggert's face. "I felt a tingle." She suddenly looked down.
"My hands...they're changing! I think I'm transforming into...Taggert!" she laughed, looking intently at her fingers as they thickened and grew in size. Her gaze returned to the man as what could only be described as breasts began to push out against his shirt. "Look! Taggert's...becoming me!"
It was true, within several minutes; they each grew closer to the form that at one time belonged to the other! It was so strange to see the sleeping body of the youthful beauty, clad in manly clothes. Then see the little man standing beside me, laughing, and wearing the young girl's clothing.
Fearing that I too would become a victim of the transformation, I began to search for something to place the necklace inside so I would be protected. On her dresser, I found a small silk pouch just big enough to suit my purposes. I tucked the pouch into my pocket, and watched as the amazing changes continued on the others in the room.
Finally, the transformation had run its course, giving complete credence to Samantha's claim of once being male! It was so odd to see Taggert's body and overall shape slim down, growing slightly shorter than he had been as a man.
I was stunned watching the former woman disrobe her feminine garb and do likewise to the girl who lay sleeping on the floor. "What now?" I asked.
He looked up, "Frankly, I don't care what you do with him. I think that I'm going to take over this asshole's cushy life, and in essence...become him. What I had wasn't much to speak of, so for all I care, take him back home and string him up from the highest tree!"
"We can't leave him like that!" I pointed to the naked woman on the floor.
"Make her wear my old clothes, throw her back to the wolves as the hooker he tried to make out of me!" she laughed and began to dress the girl, "One thing's for certain, with me looking like him...getting out of here got a whole bunch easier!"
Only the early shift barkeep looked up as we passed, he was busy setting up for the day. 'Taggert' frowned and pointed to the unconscious girl. "If this lush comes back in here, throw her ass out! I'm not paying my girls to drink on company time!" The man was drying a glass and nodded, throwing his towel over a shoulder.
That was our only contact, so we left the saloon/hotel without any problems, finding ourselves on the walkway with me carrying the limp woman. As we crossed on wide boards which spanned the mud toward my wagon, the Sheriff saw us and headed over at an angle through the mud until he met us at the barn. "What's going on here, Taggert?"
The 'man' with me smiled, "We found out that this fellow here is her husband, and his wife here ran off and tried to pass as one of my girls. I can't have that happening, so I'm sending her ass back home!" The whole while he spoke he was pointing his finger at the young woman, out cold in my arms.
"How come she's like that...you beat her up or something?" he asked me as I held the unconscious girl.
"No sir, I'd never strike a woman!" I carefully placed her into the back of my wagon, "She's tied one on last night, and passed out!" Inwardly, I smiled, using the very example that my companion had given to the bartender...I only hoped the Sheriff would buy it!
The Sheriff gave me a slow nod, looking over the side of the wagon at the drugged female. He bent down and sniffed at her breath, apparently he was satisfied. "What your wife needs is a swift kick in her ass!" He exclaimed. "I know what the hell I'd do with one like her."
'Taggert' smiled, "What would that be, Sheriff?"
He made a fist and inserted his finger rapidly several times in the center, "I'd keep her pregnant...that would sure keep her ass home!"
I rolled my eyes as the Sheriff turned walked back into the muddy street, "I'll need that necklace." I spoke, waiting until the Sheriff walked far enough out of earshot.
"No problem, I'm done with it anyway." He handed it carefully to me, watching as I dropped it into the silk pouch that I found in Amber's room.
He stood rocking on his feet, "So...you heading back to wherever you came from?"
"As soon as I pick up my load of supplies." I said, leading one of my horses to the front of the wagon, "I want to put as much distance between me and this town as I can!"
"Can't say that I blame you," 'Taggert' laughed, covering the girl with a dusty horse blanket, stolen from a rail. "That should keep her warm…so what are you going to do with 'her'?" He asked with a nod of his head. "Not that I really care, because nobody would believe her story of transformation anyway!"
I reached over and pulled his pocket silk from his jacket, "I'll let my wife decide what to do with him, but I'll need this to change him back." Touching the girl's slender arm to the material, I waited for the transformation to begin.
The man who now called himself Taggert observed, "That's not going to work for another ten hours, until then, he'll have to be content to remain a female," he laughed and tweaked her breast, "I'd love to see his face when he gets a load of these beauties!"
I carefully dropped the necklace into the silk pouch and stuffed it deep into my pocket, along with it went the pocket scarf. "I guess it'll be better anyway, he won't be able to get too far dressed the way he is."
'Taggert' laughed and turned back toward the muddy street, "Thank you, my friend, it's been a real pleasure!" I gave him a wave as he returned to 'his' establishment, then busied myself with the harnessing of the team.
Chapter 33
Just outside of town I pulled the horses to a stop. There before me, stood what was left of an old dilapidated house, the roof was leaning inward where the wall had caved in. I quickly climbed down and examined what was left, then feeling satisfied, hastened back to the wagon and retrieved the slumbering girl. Carefully carrying her into the building, I laid her upon the floor and proceeded to bind her hands and feet. Then, using my kerchief, I gagged her, should she awaken. I smiled as I realized that the gag would be necessary. If she did regain her senses, she most likely would scream like bloody hell itself.
By the time I had her well hidden, I needed to return to the Railroad office so I could pick up Grandfather's supplies. Within one hour, I stood before the little man while he was barking orders to his workers while they loaded my wagon. As soon as they had completed the order, checking it against the bill of lading, I headed back to the old, line shack where I left the girl.
I walked up to the opening of the wall and peered in; there covered in tears was the terrified girl. "Well, Taggert, I bet you sure had a surprise when you woke up!" I laughed and reexamined the knots upon her bindings, "You don't fancy wearing the form and trappings of a girl?" I snickered, "This though may be a breeze after my wife's done with you!"
The girl struggled in her bonds frantically, moaning through the cloth that was effectively gagging her, tied behind her head. "We'd better be going, I've got a long way to travel... and you're coming with me!" Bending down, I gathered up the girl and tossed her over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. She vocalized a muffled scream as I carried her back to the wagon and tossed her into an area behind the seat that I purposefully left empty. I looked at her tear-filled eyes and snarled, "You'd better keep quiet or I'll leave you in the middle of nowhere like that!"
Once she was still, I laid the filthy horse blanket over her and climbed into the seat. I snapped the reins and the buckboard jerked at the start, behind me a muffled 'ugh' was heard, I smiled and completely ignored the person behind me as if it was nothing more than another piece of cargo.
Chapter 34
For almost four days we rode like that, 'she' being just behind my seat, hidden under the smelly horse blanket, jostled and jarred constantly against the items in the wagon as they rocked from the bumpy road. Our only stops were for toilet breaks, to eat a bite of food, and to sleep. I decided that with 'him' being stuck in his current form, was punishment enough in my eyes, so I relaxed and untied the gag, warning him what I would do if he abused his privilege.
She eyed me coolly, "Why the hell you doing this to me, Mister?" Taggert asked in the young woman's feminine voice.
I glared at her, "You're going to find out soon enough. Sit back and be quiet, or I'll be feeding you to the bears!" As I turned around, she stared quickly about, searching for the beasts that would surely consume her.
Her face contorted and twisted in rage, making her young beauty quite unbecoming. It seemed as though she was suddenly gathering herself for one lengthy verbal onslaught, "I'll see that you hang for this! For what you've done to me, I'll make sure..."
I reached back and roughly jerked the gag back over her mouth once again. "It never seemed to bother you when you did this transformation thing to other youngsters...so, just get used to it. Besides, you talk too damn much!" As I turned back toward the road, effectively ending our conversation I couldn't help to smile.
Chapter 35
The evenings were cold and damp, so I kept 'her' covered up with the blanket since 'she' really wasn't dressed for traveling. She would bed down in the same place as she rode, behind the seat of the wagon. I on the other hand, slept directly under it and kept an ear out for her...just in case she attempted to escape. I really didn't need to fear too much, where could a 'girl' go dressed for sex like 'she' was? There are those who may think of me as mean- but I wasn’t too concerned for this female’s comfort at all; especially because all that she had done while male!
Finally, on the fifth day, almost two weeks since I left home, I squinted out as the sun reflected against the melting snow upon the ground. Pulling the wagon to a stop, I looked over to my charge and shook the blanket and removed it from the girl, enough so I could see her face. "You have to pee?" I asked, to which she nodded vigorously.
"There's a bush over there!" I pointed as I untied only her feet again, "Make it quick, we're only about half a day from the town where I'm heading."
She slowly walked to the brush and with a great deal of effort, trying to return the movement to her legs. Reluctantly, she frowned and hiked her dress so she could relieve herself and squatted, just like the woman she'd become. Then, returning with a sad gate, she limped to the wagon. I met her with the pocket silk in one hand and the necklace in the other. "You ready to be back to normal?" I asked.
She nodded vigorously, her long blond hair bouncing from the effort. I leaned toward her and touched it upon her slender neck with both the silk and the medallion. Once I was done, I lifted her up by her backside and threw her into the wagon. As she fell, I covered her once again with the thick horse blanket. I didn't care about Taggert in the least, in my eyes, he deserved the treatment he was given because of what he had done to all of those young boys...including what he did to my Samantha!
I laughed to myself as I returned to the seat. As his form returned, the binding would become tighter...sure, he would change back to his old self...but when Samantha saw him, he'd still be wearing the feminine gown he was in right now. With a snicker to myself, I snapped the reins and laughed aloud when I heard a jarring "Ugh!" from a slightly deeper, male sounding voice.
Chapter 36
Once we arrived in town, I drove the team directly into the back of the store. Hopping down, I began to unload the supplies, placing it onto the porch. Grandpa swung the door open. He stepped outside, wearing a huge smile on his face. "Glad you finally made it home!"
I smiled, "Glad to be back home too! How's Samantha?"
His grin grew wider, "Why don't you go see for yourself?"
I studied his expression, and then as if in a dream I climbed onto the porch, then raced past him, straight up the stairs into our bedroom completely ignoring the comfort of my passenger. I paused before the closed door and grabbed the handle, all the while my heart was pounding with excitement and anticipation.
Slowly pushing the door open, I peered into the room. There on the bed was Samantha, beaming as she held a small bundle in her arms. I could say nothing, as I gazed upon the infant under the soft blanket. I felt my throat tighten, and the guilt from not being there for her ate at my heart. She knew and touched my arm lightly, "Would you like to meet your daughter?"
I nodded and moved aside the cloth that covered the child, "My God, she's beautiful!" I gasped, tears welling in my eyes.
Her little arms moved ever so slightly, her eyelids closed in contented sleep. "She just fell asleep, otherwise I'd let you hold her."
"I'm happy just looking at both of you...God; you're a sight for sore eyes!" I bent down and kissed them both.
"You mean...you missed me?" Samantha giggled.
I smiled and kissed her once again, this time, showing her how much I missed her! When we broke, I touched my daughter's hair, "What did you name her?"
Sam looked into the baby's chubby face and smiled, "I'd gotten the choice down to two. Abigail or Cassandra...I'm leaning toward Cassandra."
I felt tears stinging the corner of my eyes, "Cassandra was Grandmother's name."
"I know," she smiled, and the brilliance of her smile lit my heart to its very core. "Grandfather told me! So...I guess Cassandra will be our daughter's name."
I stood and held my wife's lovely hand. "When was she born?" I asked.
Grandfather had followed me inside and was waiting just outside the door, he stepped into the room, smiling down on his great-granddaughter as she suddenly opened her eyes and smiled. In a small child-like voice he spoke, the infant holding his big finger. "We were born yesterday morning...weren't we? Just a few days early, but that's okay."
I laughed and kissed Samantha's hand, and she smiled and looked up at me. "Did your trip go well? Did you get everything that Grandfather ordered?"
I nodded, brushing aside the wispy blond hairs from my daughter's head with my finger. "Did you bring me back a present?" she asked, her voice holding a hint of the youthfulness still in her heart.
I froze and suddenly looked up, afraid to say what needed to be said. Hesitantly, I dug into my pocket and removed the silken pouch that contained the necklace and the strange looking medallion. I opened the pouch, carefully pulling it out by the chain.
"What's that?" asked Grandfather. "It doesn't look like much of a present."
Samantha smiled, "It's...pretty...I...I'll cherish it always!" I knew she thought it was meant for her to wear. But, something was wrong, I thought, shouldn't she know what it was that transformed her?
"You don't recognize what this thing is?" I asked, allowing her time to search her memory. She responded with a slow shake of her head, frowning and struggling to recall the object that I held.
"Taggert, the man that picked you up at the orphanage..." I spoke, trying to help her search for an explanation.
Samantha's brows narrowed as she realized what I exactly possessed in my hand, "The last time I saw that was..." Suddenly a commotion broke into our conversation as Grandfather's voice was raised in concern.
"What the hell are you?" Grandfather said frowning, as he interrupted me. His gaze was focused toward the doorway behind me.
As I turned, my eyes locked upon the man who had been bound behind my seat, but his hands were free, the ropes most likely lying beside the wagon. The long sexy sleeping gown he had on was stretched and torn along the waist and just below the armpits.
"I'll take that!" he shouted as he lunged for the object in my hand. I locked onto his wrist with my left arm and narrowly directing him away from colliding with Samantha and Cassandra on the bed; however, because of my push, his momentum carried him to the floor on the other side. Samantha leapt from the bed; in her arms she carried our daughter. She held Cassandra slightly behind, shielding the infant with her small body.
I stepped between them both as Taggert stood; looking ridiculous in the dress he wore. "What's the meaning of this?" Grandfather shouted, standing his ground at the side of the bed.
"Move away from him, Grandfather," I cautioned, reaching across the bed and gently but firmly pulling him to our side of the room.
"Who is this man?" asked Samantha, not recognizing the face of the man who transformed her.
"You want to tell her? Or should I?" I asked, glaring into the wild eyes of our intruder.
He said nothing; his eyes glanced with crazy fear at the doorway. I spoke without removing my gaze from him, "This is Taggert, he's the man who took you from the orphanage. He's the one who transformed you into the woman you've become!" Samantha's eyes shot up quickly, and she instinctively turned the baby away from him as if she were protecting her eyes from the sight of something vile. The look in her eyes showed both fear and anger, but her first reaction was to protect the infant in her grasp, willing to sacrifice her very life if only to keep our child from harm.
Taggert glanced toward the floor, laughed and bent down; he retrieved the necklace where he had knocked it from my hand! Then his eyes fixed upon Samantha. "So that's what happened to you! I thought you fell into the water at the base of the falls!" He looked at our child in the arms of Samantha, "Looks like you've been busy, I see."
As he spoke his voice slowly began to change in pitch, sounding more like that of a woman. I searched his face while he stood, yet said nothing about what was happening before our astonished eyes. Taggert moved to the end of the bed, brandishing the necklace as a weapon. Grandfather took a step toward him, but I firmly pulled him back.
"Let him go. He's got what he wanted," whispered Samantha to me.
In profound shock, I gasped, "But that's your ticket back to being male! We could keep it until after you've weaned Cassandra...then you can return to the boy you once were!"
Grandfather laughed as he realized what the man held in his tight grip. "It's just a stupid necklace! Who cares if he takes it! If it's so damn important to you, I'll buy another a whole passel prettier!"
"Quin...his face!" whispered my wife.
I looked into his eyes, and I saw that his face softened and became slightly rounder! I couldn't be positive, but he appeared to be even shorter than I remembered him being only moments before. Soon, he too realized that something was strangely wrong. "Give me my pocket silk!" he demanded.
I took it out of my pocket and tossed it upon the bed, and then he gathered it up in his slightly smaller hands and frantically pressed the silk to the medallion. "What the hell's wrong with you?" Grandfather asked incredulously as the man grew even smaller right before his ancient eyes, slowly looking more like a teenager with each passing second.
In panic he threw the silk and the necklace back on the bed! "What did you do to me!" he shouted, sounding like a prepubescent teenage girl. "What is happening?" he cried in fear.
"Looks to me like you're getting a taste of your own medicine!" laughed Samantha. "I hope you enjoy it!"
His eyes gradually became brown, his lashes began lengthening slightly. His hair was rapidly altering in shade, from the roots out, becoming lighter. Taggert broke for the door, but fell to his knees amid a growing pool of silken cloth that was twisting and billowing around his waist.
He held his hands to his face, staring intently at his smaller fingers. "Nooooo!" he cried in despair. Once again he stood and fell into the gown that he had been wearing, and then began to frantically pull at the hooks and buttons that held it together. "Nooo...help me!" he cried, tears streaming down his face. Meanwhile, his voice continued to soften and rise in timbre.
Under the frantic struggle of his hands, a button suddenly gave way, allowing him to crawl from the material that snared his legs. He rolled onto the floor and leapt to his feet, only to lose his balance once again.
All the while his changes transpired, we looked in shock upon the changing man. No longer could he stake a claim on being male, because his body was altering quickly into that of a young female! As he struggled to his feet once again using the bed to pull himself up, his eyes shot downward and he began to cry even more desperately. "I...I can't con...cont...my legs!" he wailed desperately as he continued to shrink in stature. Again he rolled to the floor, yet struggled to his knees. It was as though he could no longer stand on his own, his legs unable to carry his weight.
"He's changing into a baby!" Grandfather exclaimed. "How the hell is he able to do that?"
The small face looked upward at us, tears creating tiny rivulets down the chubby cheeks. He once again tried to stand but fell almost as soon as he rose up, rolling to a stop upon his back. We watched as a small puddle formed beneath the youngster, as the child he became was unable to control its bladder any longer. He...no, never could anyone with that equipment ever be referred to as a 'he' again. She opened her mouth up and screamed loudly, "Noooaaaaahhhh...Waaaaaahhhh! Waahhhhhhh!"
The changes befell the transformed child quickly once she had lost the ability for speaking words. As she wailed and cried, we watched in macabre fascination as each of her remaining teeth slowly retreated into her gums, leaving her looking like the infant she was transforming into. She looked exactly like our Cassandra!
Slowly, Samantha moved back toward the bed. "Dear God…that was awful!" she gasped. "I've never seen something so strange and horrible in all my life!"
"I'll say..." Whispered a shocked, Grandfather.
I moved to the other side of the room, stepping over the tiny infant's frame. "It happened to you," I reminded her. I began to search for the medallion that the former man once held.
"Not like that! That was truly a horrible thing to witness!" she shuddered as she pulled Cassandra into her protective embrace. "To be transformed from a man to a helpless newborn infant...what sort of damage was done to his brain? Surely an infants brain would be so tiny...some of his knowledge had to become pushed from his mind!"
I picked up the necklace and carefully placed it back into the silk pouch, "That's his problem...So, what do we do with...her?" I asked, bending down to the quiet infant who once was a man. Using the gown, I gently wiped up the urine under her and what had covered her tiny legs.
Samantha watched as I picked up the tiny girl, "He must have brushed the necklace against Cassandra, when he lunged for it…turning into her as an end result."
Grandfather stood at the end of the bed, "Well, who was he?"
"His name was Taggert, he was a bad man to Samantha." Then I turned to Samantha, "He's going to have to remain like that for at least 12 hours from what I know. I guess we'll have to care for him like he is until then."
I placed the infant on the bed and looked around the room, Grandfather in the meantime returned with a warm, wet rag. "I figured you'll be needing this." He nodded toward the little one held in my arms
I felt strange, but I cleaned the little girl as quickly as I could, and then wrapped her in a dry towel. "How do we explain her?" I said, pointing to the child.
"Just tell anyone who asks, that Samantha had twins." Grandfather laughed. "If he was as bad as you say, it wouldn't hurt him none to grow up a little more petite and refined as a female."
Samantha glanced up, "It'd work; the doctor wasn't able to get here before she was born. He told Grandfather that he'd stop by this evening after he returned to town."
Grandfather smiled, brushing his rough finger against Taggert's cheek. "What'll I call my newest great-granddaughter?"
I looked at Samantha; we both spoke in unison, "Abigail."
I grew quiet for awhile, watching Samantha as she held both girls. Grandfather cleared his throat and mumbled, "I...uh...I guess I'll be seeing where that doctor is." He slipped out of the room and I listened as he retreated down the stairs.
"What about you?" I asked as I took the sleeping Abigail from her as Cassandra in her arms began to squirm. Without a word, she began to uncover a breast and nurse Cassandra. It was an act that befuddled my mind, so natural and beautiful to see.
She shrugged, "We can’t blame that baby for what Taggert had done...and someone's got to care for her, so it might as well be us."
I brought the tiny infant to my shoulder and held her, while I watched Cassandra nurse. "What about him? Do we change him back?"
"You mean Abigail?" Samantha corrected. "Let's just do what Grandpa suggested...and leave him that way; surely his memories can't remain if he lives his life over as a girl? Besides, he has to pay for what he's done...why not punish him in a form like he's done to so many others, and raise him as our daughter?"
I sat upon the bed and watched as Samantha took Cassandra to her shoulder and began burping her. Samantha's eyes met mine and she smiled, her voice was soft and beautifully feminine. "What do you want me to do? Whatever you want...I'll do," she asked, in her eyes I could tell the answer she preferred me to say.
I smiled, moving around the bed with Abigail and placed her in the opposite arm of Samantha, in the crook of her other arm she held Cassandra. "Here, hold our daughters then...I've got a wagon to unload." I stood up and kissed my wife upon her moist lips, there was passion and fire in that single kiss. I knew she would remain as she was...happy to be my wife and mother of our beautiful twin girls.
Chapter 37 - Epilogue
We stood on the porch as the sleigh darted away across the frozen snow, the runners created a whooshing sound as they were pulled by the wonderfully matched stallions. "There they go again," I sighed as I closed the door.
Travis, my young son named for our friend the mountain man, looked up. "Who cares, I get sick of listening to them talk all night about boys!"
He bounced across the room to his mother. "Can I help, Momma?" he asked as our puppy decided at that moment to cut between his legs almost causing him to fall.
"Sure you can," she quickly caught him and prevented him from hitting the floor hard. “Careful now.” she said smiling, and then had him set with his arms outstretched as she wrapped yarn from one hand to the other. Samantha smiled and looked up at me, her eyes sparkling like the day I first fell in love so long ago on this very farm.
I sighed and glanced back out the window, the sled was a distant black dot on the horizon. "What'll you think will come of all this?"
"This what, Dear?" she smiled, tweaking Travis' nose.
"The girls...what's going to happen with them?" I sighed, already knowing the answer she would give.
"They're sixteen now, women actually. They'll eventually marry, giving us grandchildren to bounce upon our knees." She laughed as my face reddened, I didn't like to think of my girls as women, to me, they were still tiny and begging to be bounced upon my knee. "If I began to think of them as mature women, so would the young men in our area!" I sighed deeply and returned my glance out the window.
Samantha laughed, "Like it or not, no young man will be thinking of them in any other way! To them, they are available, beautiful women." Travis turned his head and made a gagging sound. His mother bounced a yarn ball off the back of his head playfully, "You'll think differently when it's your turn to look at the young ladies, little man!" She gave me a winsome smile, “This has been the second time those Henry boys have taken them out, they make quite lovely couples don’t you think?”
I leaned against the window, looking at the swirling patterns in the frost that formed and thought of that day sixteen years ago when our beautiful twins were brought into this world. I purposefully pushed the person who once was Abigail from my mind long ago, they were my daughters and I thought only of them as such for sixteen short years.
I grew quiet for almost a full minute, then realized that Samantha had directed a question at me, "They take after their daddy.” I said, “Robert and James would make excellent husbands for our girls.”
“Do you suppose they are as big…” She began but stopped, laughing when I suddenly scowled playfully at her.
"They're both so tall..." Travis included as he was trying to get the puppy to walk through the yarn strands he was holding for his mother.
And what of Grandfather; where do you suppose he is?" I said still looking back toward my beautiful wife and son.
She smiled and looked up, "You know him, he and that dog of his are off exploring the world!" Again she messed Travis' hair and laughed, "Ever since he sold the store and took off with that necklace, we only get a postcard once in awhile." Her comment caused me to recall Gypsy, his old dog made young with the necklace. I glanced toward the puppy, it wasn’t one of hers but was from a puppy of hers that she had not long after Grandpa used the medallion on her.
I smiled contently, I would never have altered a thing in our lives; I thought as I gazed at Samantha's heavenly face, matured remarkably over time. To me, she was even more beautiful and dear to than life itself. "Do you ever miss it?"
"Miss what, dear?" she laughed as she tickled Travis; his giggling caused the puppy to begin to severely lick at his face prodding him further into fits of laughter.
"The chance to return to ...you know, to turn back." I whispered, almost unable to hear myself over Travis' giggling.
She adjusted her dress, and poked her finger into Travis' side once again, causing him to contort from her playful touch. "No Quin, I'd never trade what I have...ever!"
I smiled and nodded in thankfulness. Returning back to my rocker, I picked up the book I had been reading before the handsome Henry boys arrived to pick up Abigail and Cassandra. As I opened it I looked at Samantha, If it were possible; I was more in love with her than ever before. I was happy, Samantha was happy...and I know Grandfather is happy, wherever he was.
I looked above the mantle where our portrait rested, its wide golden frame leaning outward slightly from the wall; an ornate frame which contained the image of a truly happy family, each member joyous in life and love...and in all, I owe my thanks to a simple necklace.
The Homestead / Kodiak - Book 2 - Part 1
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This story takes place just after Kodiak escorted Samantha down from his mountain where she would eventually meet and marry Quin. This story is Kodiak’s story.
Chapter 1
The short beady-eyed man reached back under the decking of the porch and dragged me out. "Let go of me, you asshole!" I hissed and swung at him. He pulled me up onto the steps and with a firm grasp of my hair and hauled me inside his saloon.
As we passed the bartender, he spoke as though it was any other day, "Snuff out the candle that this street rat had lit under my porch, I don't want this little shit causing a fire!"
Forcibly, I was thrown into a small room, knocking over a single chair. Behind me I heard the door slam shut and lock, with a very audible click.
I slowly rose up into a sitting position, and then gradually came to my feet. The room was very dark, but for the single shaft of light emanating from beneath the door. I quickly crossed the distance, grabbed the knob, and tried to open it, but the door was locked and tightly closed. I pounded the surface with the flat of my hand, "Open this up and let me out of here!" I shouted. Again I banged against the door and shouted, "You can't keep me in here, I didn't do anything wrong!"
Suddenly, a sharp rap sounded from the opposite side of the door. "Shut your mouth or I'll have to come in there and beat the shit out of you!" The voice sounded rough, like he meant business.
"Come on, let me out! I'll make it worth your while! I don't have much money, but I can make a trade!" I lied, in a futile attempt to try and get them to open the door.
"Nice try, kid." I heard him laugh. "You can pay me later, after the boss is done with you!"
I stepped back and frowned, "What the heck is that supposed to mean?" I muttered to myself.
I began to look around the room, soft light was eking out from a thin crack just under the door. It appeared that it could be a long room, because after about ten feet, the light gradually gave way to inky blackness, which engulfed the entire back half. I sighed and felt along the wall to see if anything was beyond my view, but only cool plaster met my touch. I sadly returned to the chair, and raised it back up, taking a seat as I waited for my captor to return.
I felt the draft long before I could actually see anyone enter; a quick glance toward where the door had been, indicated that it was well into the evening. In front of me loomed three silhouettes; two appeared to be very large, one was much smaller. I felt something fall near my feet, and it was soft to the touch.
Suddenly, the shorter one of them became illuminated by a single match. The light glowed against the face...a face I was able to recognize. It was that of the beady-eyed man. He touched the flame to a fancy kerosene lantern, which proceeded to brighten up the room considerably.
"Put it on!" he growled.
I looked down, before me was a pile of women's clothing! I toed it with my foot and watched as a corset rolled down from the top of the pile.
"Go to hell!" I snapped back, standing in defiance.
"I said to put it on!" he glared, pointing toward the clothing.
"And I said..." Suddenly I saw spots before my eyes. I spun backward and fell across the chair from the ringing slap upon my face. Both the chair and I fell into a heap.
Once again I sat up, quickly scrambling to my feet. I stood the chair back up and put it between the thugs and myself. The little man sneered, "I guess you'll have to dress him, boys."
I slowly pulled the chair backward and held it out like a weapon. "Stay away from me or I'll...I'll..."
"You'll what?" one burly man spat, twisting the chair from my grasp.
In only seconds the struggle was over. One had me pinned and the other was forcibly jerking my jeans from my legs. A huge hand held my throat as the other grasped the front of my shirt, and in the blink of an eye, it was torn from off my back. Within moments, I stood before the three entirely naked. "If you know what's good for you, you'll put those clothes on."
"Eat shit...and die!" I hissed, panting and out of breath.
The little man scowled and only snapped his fingers. The last thing I remembered was a huge fist being quickly driven toward my chin.
Chapter 2
As I came to, I was laying face down on the wooden floor. I could feel someone's knee pressing into my side, hands quickly gathering the material and fastening buttons down the length of my back. It only took a second or two for my wits to return, quickly scrambling to my feet and away from them. My sudden movement surprised them all as I retreated into a dark corner.
I looked down, I was wearing a sunny calico dress that billowed outward from my corset tapered waist, and uncomfortable women's shoes that buttoned up over my ankle! I winced; something was obstructing my throat and making it hard to swallow. My hand touched a string of a bonnet that was tied and knotted just under my chin so tightly that I would have to cut it to remove the damn thing! I glared at them both; they each quietly rose, then returned to stand behind the vile little man with the beady eyes. "Oh...you're the precious one, aren't you?" he said laughing, mocking me for the attire they had trapped me in.
"Go to hell!" I growled.
"Eventually, but first I have one more thing to do with you." He laughed as he reached for his vest pocket and retrieved a folded cloth. It looked like nothing more than a handkerchief.
"First thing I'm going to do when I get out of here is report you to the sheriff!" I shouted, as he laughed and took a step toward me. I frowned, furtively looking past them to the door. "Why the hell did you dress me up like this?" I growled through gritted teeth, my fists clenched and waiting.
From his hand he dangled some sort of necklace, the little medallion on the end looked like an angel or cherub of some type as it spun a slow circle. "Am I supposed to be afraid of that?"
"Not in the least..." he smiled, moving closer to me. Suddenly, he swung the chain outward. As it was swinging forward, I held my arms outward to protect myself, but it was a futile gesture. The medallion on the end had slipped over my outstretched forearm and was trapped between the dress sleeve and my cheek. The force with which he had swung it was strong enough that it stung, causing me to quickly touch where the welt was suddenly rising. Tears burned in my eyes as I flipped the chair I was trying to hide behind toward him, and ducked under his outstretched hands.
"Grab him!" he shouted, wheeling and racing toward the door to prevent my escape. "He's getting away! Hurry, shut the door!"
I gave him a shove and I almost fell, forcing my own small body into the wall from the strength of the push. I reached the door just slightly ahead of him, and was able to drag it closed behind me. Down the hallway I ran and back out through the saloon. Behind me ran my captors close on my heels...literally!
I quickly dashed throughout the swinging doors and out into the porch, grabbing the reins of an idle horse. I pulled myself into the saddle just as my captors spilled out of the saloon and into the street. It was not an easy feat, trussed up in a dress as I was. "Don't let her get away!" the short man shouted into the darkness.
I slapped the reins hard onto the side of the beast and kicked up dust from the street as I galloped away; behind me I once again heard the man shout. "Don't let her get away! Shoot if you have to!"
Two shots barked from behind me, one whistled just past my ear! The sound was high pitched and more like a whine than anything. The second was felt more than heard, and my right shoulder suddenly swung forward almost toppling me from my precarious perch on the saddle. The pain was intense, I could feel myself falling. I knew that if I hit the ground, those men would have me in their clutches once again...with the last ounce of my strength, I looped the reins around the saddle horn and quickly crossed the remainder behind my back, then tightly again to the saddle horn. This effort effectively tied me to the saddle, hopefully aiding me in my escape.
A slow black swirl began spiraling before my eyes, and I became very warm as sweat beaded upon my upper lip. I glanced down at my shoulder; blood had begun to seep into the yellow material of the dress top. From my angle, I could see the blackened hole from where the bullet had exited entirely through the front of my shoulder, darkening with blood as it seeped from the wound. I leaned forward and held on for dear life, behind me, I heard a voice shouting. "Taggert! What the hell are you shooting at?"
With all the strength I could muster, I kicked at the horse's side, spurring it onward...away from those awful men.
Chapter 3
I opened my eyes and glanced around; I was lying at a strange angle and seeing trees slowly moving past. Turning my head slightly, I could see that I was laying on a make-shift travois, one end dragging in the dirt, the other tied to a horse. Somewhere ahead of me, I could hear a person humming softly. I tried to sit up, but the pain forced me quickly down, once again the swirling blackness enveloped me.
With hesitation I opened my eyes, and I noticed that I was lying on a long bed inside a cabin. Just to my right, I could see a stairs that led upward into a loft. Through the stairs, I could see part of a kitchen. I slowly swung my head around and looked toward my left. There was a wood pile that spanned a few feet, and beside that stood a great fireplace black with soot.
"Morning!" a voice boomed, the sound echoing within the cabin and causing my heart to jump with fright. "Glad to see you're among the living! I wasn't sure whether to marry you or bury you!" My eyes quickly began to search out the voice.
He laughed as he rounded the corner, and I saw a great bear of a man. "The name's Travis Henry…friends call me Kodiak!" His eyes were kind, and his smile let me know that I had nothing to fear from him. He pulled a chair behind him and took a seat in front of me.
I tried to take him all in; his massive size looked more mountain than mountain man. I winced and tried to sit up, and he quickly closed the distance between us. "Oh...no...no...no. You need to stay put there, little one, moving around too much might cause the bleeding to start up again!"
"Where am I?" I whispered painfully.
"In my cabin; on my mountain." He smiled and leaned forward, the gray hairs at his temples and those that peppered his beard gave him a distinguished appearance. "I sure am a lucky cuss! You're the second purdy little thing that has dropped in on me in less than a year...just where the Sam Hill are all you coming from?"
"I...I'm from Cold Forks." I rubbed my throat and swallowed. "Some idiot was trying to kill me...had me all trussed up like a girl!"
His expression soured. "Makes sense, Cold Forks isn't far from here...but you said, someone was trying to kill you?" He ran a huge hand through his beard, and then ended up scratching his shoulder. "That 'idiot' as you called him...did he happen to have a name?"
I looked at the ceiling, concentrating on whether I had heard anyone call him by name. "R..right after I was shot...I heard someone yell out...Taggert."
Again he frowned and scratched his bushy beard, "That's the same name she gave me..."
"She?" I asked.
He waved his hand as if he were deep in thought, "The other girl that dropped in here like you did."
"Other girl? There's been more than one?" I asked quietly, hoping he could shed some light on what was going on.
"Yeah. There was that girl, Samantha...and you." He counted off on his fingers, as he said the name Samantha. He smiled and gave a short twist of his head as if recalling something pleasant.
I continued. "These clothes, they put them on me...I'm not sure why, but they wanted me in them real bad." I again tried to sit up and he gently pushed me back into the bedding. I continued, "I'm no girl at all. I'm really a boy."
"I ain't never seen a boy that was built like you..." he mumbled as he stood. "Oh, by the way...I had to remove your dress so I could care for your wound. I didn't touch anything, so you don't have to worry. No need to get any unwarranted ideas about me." He chuckled a bit and pointed to where he laid the clothing.
My eyes were drawn to the corner as I followed his finger. Then he stood and walked back into his kitchen. The clothes he was referring to were lying at the end of the wood pile. There in a heap were the bloodied dress and corset I had been wearing. Intermingled with those items were what appeared to be several petticoats, a blouse and the shoes I had once worn. I smiled, "Those...those aren't mine."
His face appeared around the stairs. "They sure as hell aren't mine!" Again he laughed, his voice sounding more like thunder than a laugh. "It took almost an hour for my big fumble-bum fingers to get out the dang knot from your bonnet! It looked expensive so I didn't want to cut the dang thing...I know how women folk are about their bonnets." I looked toward the pile, then to my bandaged shoulder. "Don't worry, you can wear what’s left of my dead wife's old clothes once you get around...until then, you'll have to stand being almost naked...and hiding under them covers."
"Almost naked?" I wondered aloud, slightly lifting the covers and peering under. In an instant, it was as though my entire lung capacity escaped through my throat at the same time, expelling like a shrill horror-filled banshee! I struggled up from the bed and stood as bare as the day I was born, when all of the sudden, the big man came bounding around the corner.
His face held a slight grin, seeing me standing there beside the bed. That was until he saw the cloth on my shoulder suddenly grow a deep crimson red. "Shit!" he spat. "You've gone and opened up your wound again."
I looked down, my shoulder growing more and more dark as the cloth became soaked with blood. I felt my legs grow weak, the room began to spin, and again I felt myself slumping to the floor.
Chapter 4
I heard a noise beside me, gradually causing me to open my eyes. The big man was seated on a stool, gently wiping my forehead with a cloth. "Glad to see you're awake!"
I felt my eyes roll back for a moment, and then cool water touched my parched lips. "Here, drink up," he said softly. "This water will do you some good."
In the instant that I swallowed, my mind returned to wakefulness. I glanced toward him fearfully, then down to my shoulder. It was apparent that he had been taking care of me as there were fresh bandages wound around my chest and over the top of my shoulder. He smiled, and then pointed toward the wound. "I figured you weren't too happy knowing that I removed your unmentionables...so, when I bandaged you back up, I made sure to at least cover them."
"Them?" I asked aloud, trying to remember just what had happened to me.
"Your...your...um...teats!" he stammered. Leaning back and setting the little blue tin cup down. He broke into a smile, "Got to admit, you are sure fine to look at...a right pretty little thing!"
I gently touched the white cloth that wrapped around my chest, "I...I don't have..." Under the cloth, I could feel the rounded skin as it curved outward and formed... "A...a breast?" I gasped.
"There's another just like it on the other side," he said with a laugh, "and they make a mighty fine pair at that!" he smiled as he stood up and walked into the kitchen.
The bottom of my stomach began to drop and I began to gently feel my body; he was right...under those covers I was 100% female! "But...but how?" I cried loudly!
Kodiak laughed from the kitchen, his voice vibrated the rafters above. "My guess would be to ask your momma...she could probably answer your 'how' question!"
"No...no, you don't understand!" I stammered, "I'm not supposed to have...these!" I cried, pressing the swollen flesh upon my chest.
He returned to the end of the bed, holding another cup of water. "Sure you are. I'm not a momma, but from what I figure, all girls get them...some sooner than others." He paused as he walked back to the chair. "How old are you anyway?"
I gazed with shock at him! How could he be so stupid? How could he not see that I had not always looked like this? I glared at him in frustration, "I'm seventeen, I'll be eighteen in July."
"Oh?" he questioned, sitting the cup of cool water next to me. "When in July?"
"The eighth," I spat with complete frustration.
He laughed again, "Well, I guess a 'happy birthday' is in order for you! The eighth was four days ago, you've been out of it for that long with the fever."
He sat down, this time spinning the chair so he could sit on it backwards. "You got a name or do I just call you, 'Hey you'?"
"I have a name," I growled. "They call me Loren."
"Lauren? That's a pretty name. I like it, the name fits you!" he smiled, his beard growing wider as he did.
"Not Lauren...Loren!" I corrected him, deliberately emphasizing the long 'o' sound.
"I knew a Lauren once; she was a right pretty thing. Not quite as pretty as my Samantha, but very pretty," he answered, completely ignoring my correction of the name. "She wanted to be called Lora or Laura or something like that. I preferred to just keep it at Lauren."
I groaned and closed my eyes, while he continued to wrestle with himself the name of the girl he once knew. Finally after settling his own argument, he returned to the conversation at hand. "So, Lauren, if you can remember where your folks are at the moment, I can take you home as soon as you're able." He leaned forward, resting his elbow on his leg and supporting his chin.
I ignored the hopeless mispronunciation of my given name and tried my best to answer, "I don't have any folks. They left me years ago and I haven't seen them for a long, long time." There was an unmistakable sadness in his eyes that I hadn't expected, so I continued, "I've been on my own ever since."
"That's probably why that Taggert feller was after you. He runs a saloon and house of 'girls' in Cold Forks. He most likely wanted you for his business, and was trying to make a trollop out of you." He frowned and placed his large foot down onto the floor. "Sorry to hear about your folks and all...but, at least you didn't get pressed into service in his business."
"I'd die before I'd work for him!" I clenched my jaw and hissed through my teeth.
"You came close to doing just that!" Kodiak said, pointing down at my bandages. "He'd rather see anyone dead than to escape his clutches. My guess is, when that guy goes down...he's going to go down real hard. Being mean has a way of coming back to haunt a fella."
I laid back into the pillow and sighed, and tears began to well in my eyes. Raising my arm up, holding my hand out in front of my face was almost too much to stand. "What am I going to do now?" I cried. "I can't live out the rest of my life as a woman!"
"It isn't that bad here, you can stay as long as you like." I glared at him, but he smiled and held out his hand, palm up. "I'm not that way. I won't be takin' advantage of any girlie unless she wants to be takin' advantage of." He chuckled as he returned to the kitchen. "I didn't do it with that other little gal, and I won't do it with you...unless of course, you want me to." Did I hear a smile in his voice, or was I imagining it?
"Well, that's never going to happen as long as I'm alive!" I hissed again, keeping my voice low and controlled.
He returned to the my feet and laughed, patting them with his huge hand. "That's the old ticket, you hold them virtues you have all bottled up inside you real close...or somebody'll be holdin' onto them for you."
"There isn't anybody holding anything of mine!" I shouted after him as he walked back into the kitchen. His only response was a soft chuckle, like a low roll of thunder far away in the distance.
I remained quiet for a few moments, studying the mountain man through the stringers of the stairs; thankful for the safety of our distance. He looked truly wild - his hair was crazy and went about every way imaginable. He had a few gray hairs; most were gathered around his temples, giving him a distinguished look if you could get past the craziness of his bushy face. Finally my curiosity got the better of me.
"Kodiak?"
"What is it, Lauren?" he responded, his voice taking on a softer, gentler tone.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, completely ignoring his misuse of my name once again. Yet I had to ask, something about this giant of a man left me feeling protected and without threat.
"Has...has a woman ever remained on this mountain for a really long time, and survived?" The need for an answer outweighed what I was sure was going on inside his head.
"Why are you asking that?" He peeked through the stair stringers as we spoke, while still standing in the kitchen.
"I was just wondering...?"
He smiled and gave a short laugh, "My Samantha came up here almost ten years ago with me. She was a hardy soul, just what mountain country like this is needing." He came around the corner, near where I was and stopped, "Why? You interested in staying on my mountain? I figured you wouldn't want to hang around an old fart like me."
His response angered me, making me feel like lashing back at him! "It's not like I'm interested in sleeping with you! I was just trying to figure out whether I could just stay up here and avoid being around people all together, especially if I'm stuck being this!" I indicated myself as I spoke.
"Is that what I'm doing?" He sobered up and pointed a huge finger my way. "You think I'm up here hiding from folks?"
I snorted and waved my small hand in the air, "That's not what I meant, I...I was just wondering if I could hide out here for awhile."
"I can't be taking care of no girl..." His brows furrowed, giving him an angry appearance. "It wouldn't look..."
"Unless of course, if there's something in it for you!" I replied sharply.
He glared at me for a while before he responded. "How many times do I have to remind you that I'm not like that?" He turned back to the kitchen but he stopped and came back around to me. "You can stay for as long as you like. But remember this, Lauren, if you stay...you'll be expected to pull your weight."
Chapter 5
My shoulder healed slowly, and trying to change my bandages by myself was extremely difficult. Kodiak would offer to help, but I wanted no person other than me to see my female body that was hidden under my bandages...and that was bad enough!
The only times that he had helped me were just after I arrived, when he would take me to the privy and wait beside the door. It was uncomfortable with him being there, let alone with my own eyes seeing the 'new me'. I did my business quickly and returned to my hiding place under the covers every single time.
Finally, after almost three weeks, I decided that I had enough of being weak. It was more out of my realization that I had been acting like a helpless female that spurred me onto action. After all, I was almost healed and the dressings were more for 'comfort protection' than to actually keep out infection...I had milked out my situation long enough. It was with extreme hesitation that I told Kodiak, I felt well enough to consider myself 'healed'.
"I set out some clothing for you." He pointed toward the end of the bed. "It isn't much but it'll do you right nicely."
I pulled aside a few of the items, "Don't you have anything that isn't a dress?"
He snickered, "Well, you could wear some of my stuff but I doubt it would fit you." He walked around the stairs, "It's all some of my Samantha’s old stuff...I can help you dress if you feel you need it."
"No, that won't be necessary," I snapped. "It's bad enough that I have to see what I've become...I'd die if anyone else saw it."
He smiled and turned back toward the kitchen, "Don't you feel too bad, Lauren; some of us might not mind so much seeing what you're so keen on hiding."
I looked around the empty room, and then narrowed my eyes at him. "Oh nice, real nice...when you're using the term 'some of us', you mean you, don't you?" I groaned and quickly began to dress in the countless garments. "Does every woman wear all of this stuff?"
"Any that amount to a hill of beans," he laughed, trying to keep his head turned so he wouldn't see me dress. I'll have to give him credit for that much; he was a gentleman, even though he was the size of his mountain.
I slowly walked around the corner and stood. He glanced up from his knife-sharpening and paused. "Damn!"
"What?" I asked, looking to see if I had everything hidden correctly, or that the dress was not on backwards. "What is it?"
He scrambled to his feet and pulled out a chair, "Here...uh...take a seat. I'll fetch you a coffee."
"I can handle that myself, Kodiak, just show me where I can find everything," I spoke, even though I was already taking his offered chair.
"I must be living a sure blessed life, females dropping down from the sky on my mountain like blossoms in the spring." His voice was barely above a whisper, but I was positive that I heard everything.
"Lauren, how old did you say you was?" He laid down his big knife and rubbed his chin.
"I'm eighteen I guess...now." I gave him a curious glance, "Why?"
"Aw...nothing." He looked away, then out the window. I could almost see his whiskers moving as if he were talking to himself...either that or if he were ciphering in his head.
"Okay, now that you've asked me...how old are you?" My voice was level and calculated, and he slowly looked back toward me.
"Right as I can figure, I'm somewhere between 25 and 30 years old. Been on this mountain since...well, since forever. Buried my Samantha up on the hill near where I found you."
"You said that Samantha was your wife?" I pried.
"She took sick and died...it about killed me to put her in the cold ground." His gaze was distant and sorrowful, and his eyes became glassy as he fought back tears. He nodded and sighed, and then he looked back up toward me. "She was my everything, I lived for her and I miss her terribly, but fretting about it can't bring her back."
He quickly sat up and ran his hand through his wild hair. "So, how soon you ready for me to take you down the mountain...there's a small town not too far from here."
I felt a pang of fear race through my heart. "Oh...no, no, no! I can't go back around people now that this has happened to me! I could never show my face in public!"
"What's wrong with your face?" he asked innocently.
"Well, it's a female face!" I replied as a matter of fact. "I don't want people thinking that I'm a woman!"
He sighed and shook his head, "Back to that again, are we?"
I glared at him, "You know very well that I'm not..."
"Okay I know, I know," he interrupted. "You can stay here for as long as you like...but I have to tell you this. Winter will be setting on us in a month or so. It comes in real fast when you aren't prepared. If you drag out your stay too long, I won't be able to take you back until spring."
I pointed my index finger down hard into the table. "I'm staying whether you like it or not! If you throw me out...I'll find a cave somewhere to stay."
He held his hand up. "You know that won't be necessary. I'll take care of you."
I stood up quickly, so fast that my chair flew out from behind me. "I'll not have you taking CARE of me like I was some type of china doll! I may be stuck like this, but I don't have to accept it...don't you dare treat me like I'm some...some woman!"
"That's not what I meant, damn it!" he growled, his voice was very low and controlled. "I ain't about putting on airs, so I don't expect you to leave me take care of you like you was mine or something. Hell no! You'll pull your weight around here and damn it...you'll start tomorrow when I'm heading out to check my traps."
"You go and I'll...I'll do something around here!" I stammered, looking for something that needed done in the safety of the cabin.
"Like hell! You want to parade around pretending to act like a man...fine, you can help me check traps like a man! As for cleaning, we'll have all winter to clean! You stay here on my mountain...and you'll work!"
We stayed cool toward each other for the rest of the day. Not much was said other than necessary conversations like, "Do you want coffee?" or "You feel like eating anything?"
Toward evening, Kodiak walked around to his chair and sat. I had been out to the outhouse, returned and had just taken a seat upon the bed. He was quiet and finally spoke, "Look, Lauren, I ain't the friendliest critter on this mountain. I've not had the pleasure of being around people and sometimes I come off sort of rough." He studied me for several seconds, "What I said earlier..."
"Forget it..." I snapped. "If you want to drag me off into the woods and show me your traps...I'll do it."
"I ain't going to..." he began.
Again I interrupted him. "I'm going! I'll not lie around here like some helpless female!"
He stared at me for a few moments before he spoke. "I think you're far from helpless. In fact, I'd bet my life on it."
I glared at him coolly, which caused him to smile slowly. "You sure are full of sassafras...I sure do get a kick out of it."
"Come over here...I'll give you a kick!" I replied sharply.
"I bet you would," he laughed. "We'd better be going to bed...I want to get an early start."
"Wake me when you're ready, I'll get myself dressed as fast as I can," I said as I pulled myself under the covers to change out of my clothing, using the safety of the cover to shield myself from his eyes.
He laughed again and slowly began climbing up the stairs. "When we return to the house tomorrow night, I want my bed back."
"You can have it back any time you want...I can sleep up there right now!" I called back up to him.
"No...that's fine...tomorrow will be soon enough. For tonight, enjoy your last evening as a refined and gentle female," he laughed again.
Kodiak had a way of making me so angry! "Urrrugh!" I squealed up the stairs at him, and threw my clothing out from under the covers so hard that it made my shoulder ache. "Jackass!" I snapped, drawing the blankets up around my neck.
"Good night to you too!" he said laughing, from the loft.
I fumed for almost a full hour under those covers until finally I was able to calm down enough to finally sleep. He on the other hand, was asleep almost as soon as he quieted down upstairs...his snoring rumbled overhead.
It doesn't pay to go to bed angry, because a person tends to wake up that way as I would soon find out. Being so angry wasn't worth it, if I factored in how my temper was about to change our lives in ways beyond my wildest imagining!
I sat up and swung my feet over the edge of the bedding, holding a blanket to my naked chest. I yawned and scratched my head.
"Breakfast is on the table." His voice almost startled me in its suddenness.
I glanced up; Kodiak was sitting on his rocker, gradually working his foot into his boot. "I'm heading out to check my traps...still want to tag along?"
"You'd take me with you after how I treated you last night?" I asked.
"I ain't going to hold that against you! My Samantha used to get after me from time to time. Although she wasn't so dang mean when she did her fussing!" He laughed as he wriggled his foot into his other boot and drew it up by the long tassels. "And when we did, making up was all that much better!"
I ignored him while he continued. "If you want to go, I've laid out clothes on the end of the bed for you." He stood up and smiled. "Nothing too frilly, mind you."
I glanced toward the end of the bed; true to his word, there lay clothing suitable for outdoors. "But this...this is still...girl's clothing," I whined my frustration.
He laughed, it was like someone touched off a cannon right inside the room. "Were you expecting something of mine? Regardless of what you say you were, you're a girl now." Again he laughed loudly, so much so that he was forced to sit back into his rocker to keep from falling.
"I'm not that stupid! I know that your stuff won't fit me!" I felt my face redden, growing irritated with his laughter.
"Look here, Lauren...I don't care whether you tag along or not! I just offered because of what happened last night. You don't have to go if you don't want to!" He glared at me and then stood, reaching for his hat.
"I'll move on outside so you can dress if you're going. You can grab your grub and cart it along with us if you've a mind to." With that, he strode to the door and exited as quickly as was humanly possible...for such a big man.
By the time I stepped outside, he stood up from his bench on the chair and began walking. I had to run to catch up, not an easy task when wearing a dress. He glanced quickly to the side as I raced to keep pace. "Looks good on you!" he commented as we walked down a narrow trail. "Still can't help admiring a woman's form when she ain't afraid to dress like one."
"I'm only wearing this stuff because I have no choice," I reminded him. "As for being a 'she'...that is entirely out of my hands, thanks to that bastard in Cold Forks!"
"I can't complain, it don't make me any difference one way or another." Kodiak turned down another narrow trail, this one heading downhill sharply. "Watch your balance here, 'cause it's mighty steep."
Even before he was able to caution me, I was already losing my footing. As I began sliding, he grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back to my feet. "You okay?"
"Yeah...thanks." I pushed my hair back, and gingerly grasped a sapling's trunk for assistance. It frustrated me that he had placed his hands upon my waist; they were huge...while I was so small. Damn this frail feminine form!
The Homestead / Kodiak - Book 2 - Part 2
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Chapter 6
We continued moving downward for almost an hour, eased left onto a flattened area for several hundred yards and then sharply right again, taking us down at a very steep angle.
"There's a creek at the bottom of this drop, just past this line of trees. Slide here any further and you'd probably be taking a dip in the drink." He smiled, showing his white teeth. "Not that I'd mind seeing you take a swim."
I wondered to myself about his comment, whether he wanted me to fall in because he would be amused at seeing me soaking wet. Or was it that he was dwelling on the thought of seeing me wet, forced to have to remove my clothing and allow it to dry, putting me in a compromised position?
The whole time we walked down that mountainside toward his traps, I thought about both him and me. Here I was, suddenly transformed into a female, alone on this mountain with an adult male. True to his word, he had not tried to make an advance at me, but how long could he hold out a natural reaction to having his way with a smaller, helpless female? How long would he be able to resist the temptation of our proximity? Would I be able to defend myself if he should try?
Slowly those thoughts of being forced into God only knows what, began to become replaced with others. It was these other thoughts that disturbed me more than anything else.
What would it be like if I had been actually BORN into this body? Under the same conditions, would a female me be attracted to a big mountain of a man like Kodiak? He did have his points - he was quite tall and solidly built. I'm sure that a handsome face lurked somewhere under that crazy looking beard.
From time to time he would pause and glance back, making sure that I was still following him. Behind him, from this vantage I could see what his wife must have seen in the big man. He was stunningly well-proportioned, narrow at the hip with powerful legs. I wondered what it was like for her to make love to him? Was he gentle or was he rough? Did he just hammer away at her like a beast of the forest, or did he 'make love' slow and easy? Did he stroke her mind as much as he stroked her insides?
"Whew, I'm warm!" I thought aloud.
"What?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder for a split second.
"Nothing," I replied flatly, ashamed that I had uttered anything at all.
Suddenly, without warning I fell to my bottom and began sliding in the leaves and soft earth! Because of the severe angle, I began to pick up speed rapidly! It happened so fast that all I could do was let out a short squealing scream! Kodiak was about ten feet in front of me when I fell; as he heard me, he quickly turned to try and stop my aggressive sliding.
I collided into him even before he had time to prepare, and my face struck him solidly in the crotch, collapsing him quickly forward and then backward as I took out his legs. Both of us were careening down the hill, him on his back and me on my bottom. The whole way down I squealed like the girl I had become!
He tried in vain to check his fall as he slid, but he was unable to grasp a tree or bush in his journey. Fortunately for us, he was able to cast off his pack as we headed toward the water. He ended up plowing into a shallow spot of the stream, sending a huge wall of water all the way to the other side.
As I raced unchecked, I tried to dig my heels into the earth to prevent the embarrassing situation of joining him. My heels finally were able to dig in at the water's edge, thanks to a root which was spanning across the ground. However, my momentum carried me forward until I fell head first behind Kodiak!
When I finally stopped, my face was firmly planted in his crotch. While I quickly scrambled to my hands and knees in embarrassment, Kodiak began laughing. His booming laughter echoed throughout the forest that surrounded us. In the situation that I found us in, positioned as we had been, knowing how we arrived at this point, I couldn't see the humor in it at all, and I was very upset!
But I said nothing, and I finally climbed to my feet using his knees for support, stood up and folded my arms in the knee-deep water. "You going to get up, or just lay in the water laughing at me!"
He sat up, shaking the water from his hair. "I guess I should be asking you if you're all right?"
"I'm wet and I'm cold!" I growled, shivering.
This comment started him laughing all over again, "Water and winter has that sort of effect on a person!"
"So...do we head back up to the cabin?" I asked, looking up the steep hill and the trail toward his home.
"We're wet. You're cold, and you would probably never make it up that incline...and if you did, by the time we got back, we'd both be so sick we'd most likely die."
"Then what should we do?" I began wading toward the shore, lifting the skirt as best I could; the dress was now heavily soaked with water. Kodiak stood and followed me, helping me climb back onto dry land.
"There's a clearing not far from here, we can build us a fire at that place." He climbed back up the incline for a short way, and then returned with his pack. "I've got what we need here; we'll have you dry and warm in no time, Lauren."
I followed him miserably into the clearing, and together we shivered as we picked up dry branches and twigs for a fire. He unwound the cord from his pack and opened it up. The pack contained a small bow and what looked like a bird's nest. I watched as he began drawing the bow through a stick, vigorously back and forth he went until I saw a tiny spire of smoke rise up. In moments, he transferred a glowing coal into the bowl of the bird nest. Blowing on it for several minutes, it began smoking and leapt into a flame.
That nest was placed on the ground where he began adding tiny sticks and twigs. Those twigs quickly took hold and we were able to add larger branches, increasing our fire until it began putting off modest amounts of heat.
He placed the contents of the pack beside a log and finished unrolling it until it dawned on me that it was much bigger than I originally thought. The hide, whether it was a bear or buffalo, I was unsure...was huge when spread out.
He motioned me over and held up a corner, "Climb in, and take off your clothing."
"I will not!" I gasped.
"You'll be under the blanket." He shrugged, "Nobody will see your woman parts!"
I could feel the breeze picking up; the trees overhead were swaying slightly. The air was like a knife, slicing its way deep into my body. I groaned and slid under the blanket, quickly removing and tossing my clothing in the grass beside us. Each item, he took and hung it near the fire upon a bush, until I no longer had anything to remove. After he knew that I was done, he began to remove his own wet shoes and stockings.
My eyes grew wider as his shirt was removed. "What are you doing?"
"If you didn't realize it, Lauren, I'm wet and cold too!" He hung his shirt on another bush not far from the fire. "It's okay with you if I'm warm too, isn't it? The last thing either of us needs out here, is for ME to be sick!"
My mouth dropped open in shock as he removed his drawers, standing entirely naked. He hung them onto the branches and walked back like he had not a care in the world. His swinging penis was entirely exposed, and open for inspection to my eyes! I turned my head away and felt a shiver race along my spine, through my breasts and deep into my crotch! To say that he was impressive would have been an understatement; I could honestly say beyond a shadow of a doubt...it was entirely in proportion with his large frame.
My face grew warm as he began dropping larger logs onto the fire, building it up even more than before. After he was satisfied, he headed over to the hide and crawled under it, beside me entirely naked and before I could protest.
"Bet this was the furthest thing from your mind when you woke up this morning?" he laughed. "I know it was the furthest thing from my mind." He stretched out his legs and covered his lap with the hide. I felt my face growing warmer, knowing that here I was, now a naked female...in very close proximity to a naked man!
"Well, it could be worse," he added, his voice breaking the stillness of our situation.
"How?" I snapped back.
"We could both be male," he laughed. "At least this way, it's a comforting thought that at least one of us is a female."
"Not by choice," I sighed. "I'd rather be here, in this situation, as the guy."
Kodiak smiled, "Well, lucky for me you aren't."
I said nothing; my mind however was strangely fixated upon the fact that beneath this hide, we were both entirely nude. I also kept thinking that when a man and a woman were this close and also unclothed...there usually was more involved than just sitting beside one another like we were, trying to stay warm. I almost expected Kodiak to roll over and pin me beneath his great size, taking me and truly making a woman of me.
That thought simply terrified me, yet part of it caused a slight thrill in my body as well. That thrill made me aware of my vulnerability to him. If he wanted, he could overpower me in an instant. I trembled and pulled the blanket higher to my chest, trying to block every vestige of my femininity from his male eyes. Under the blanket, I was aware of his hairy legs as they brushed against my smooth skin. It was both frightening and thrilling at the same time, knowing that the organ that could create a dramatic change in my body lay not far from its natural, unprotected opposite.
In my mind I imagined it slowly stiffening and straining upward, nothing between him and myself other than thin air. I thought about it being pushed into my own strange opening, pumping my body full of the seed that would create a child. Suddenly, his voice broke through my strange thoughts, "You need any more room...or you just planning on pushing me from under the hide?"
I realized as he spoke, that my legs were spreading wider, almost as if I were trying to accommodate an unseen lover! My knee was lying over his large thigh! I quickly pulled it away from his body where our skin had come into contact with each other.
"Shit," Kokiak sighed.
"What? What is it?" I asked looking around.
"Nothing," he whispered, drawing his knees slightly higher. "Stop moving around."
"I'm just lying here, minding my own business," I replied, straightening the hide so it continued to cover my body.
"Your leg was on mine again," he snapped, highly unusual for him.
"Why should that make any difference?" I asked, again pulling the hide back over my exposed thigh.
"Are you trying to do that to me on purpose?" he growled.
"If you'd tell me what the heck I'm doing...I'll stop it right away!" I shot back, looking him directly in the eye.
His eyes wavered only slightly, darting down for a fraction of a second. I glanced downward, and noticed that the soft globes of my breasts were well hidden. But my cleavage was not hidden, and Kodiak shifted uncomfortably because as I pulled the hide higher, I exposed my left thigh once again.
"You're killing me!" he sighed again, softly under his breath.
"Believe me; I'm not trying on purpose!" I sat as still as possible, it finally dawning upon me as to what I was doing to him. Kodiak was becoming aroused at being so near my naked body. The innocent glimpses of my flesh were causing him great anguish and discomfort.
The fact that it was ME that was causing all of this to a huge man was almost powerful in nature. I had all of the control in this current situation, I could drive him crazy and there was nothing he could do about it! Well, unless he physically took control. No, the mental torture was all mine, and it pleased me immensely!
I allowed the hide to fall to the inside of my thigh, my smooth leg visible once again to his eyes. From my peripheral vision, I could see him close his eyes and looked away. Acting as if I didn't notice, I left it exposed; his eyes glanced back not once but several times. Deep inside, I was sure that this was having an effect on him.
"Can you please cover yourself up?" he asked softly, but with growing irritation in his voice.
Inwardly I smiled. "I'm sorry." I reached over and pulled it back to cover my leg, this time allowing the hide to fall, almost exposing my nipples. Beside me, he sucked air through his teeth as he quickly took in this vision. So he wouldn't think I knew of my power over him, I quickly drew it back up to my neck.
"The fire's dying down. We need a few more logs thrown on there," I observed, smiling inwardly at his misfortune.
"It'll last," he replied.
"I don't think so. Most of it is just glowing coals. You probably need a greener log to throw on there...like the one to your right," I added.
"If I get out from under this blanket, you're going to see something that will probably scare the hell out of you," he whispered, his low voice was ragged.
"I've already seen you naked. Remember when you climbed under here?" I added, "Remember, I was once a guy, so what you have doesn't do anything for me."
"Fine," he growled and tossed aside the hide, turning away from me he stood up and walked to the log. Bending down, he gathered it up and tossed it on the coals.
"Are our clothes dry yet?" I asked, realizing that he could check while he was out.
As he turned, it granted me full view of his front. His caution to me about 'Scaring the hell out of me’ came to mind. His penis had to have been close to ten inches in length...and he was right, what I had done did scare the hell out of me! I couldn't pull my eyes from him; its view caused a strange reaction in my own body, so strange that I couldn't understand its meaning. I could feel my nipples suddenly stiffen, and a strange flutter race from them into my own nether region. This wasn't possible...I couldn't become attracted to Kodiak! I was a guy...or at least used to be one!
Then it dawned on me: I was stupidly arousing a male twice my size, and acting like the female I had become! No longer could I lay claim to being a guy ever again. "What was I thinking?" I whispered to myself as he turned and walked back to the hide, his stiff penis swinging straight out and upward from his body.
"Happy now?" he growled as he crawled back under the hide, uncomfortably trying to adjust himself of his…problem.
"I...I'm sorry," I stammered, ashamed for causing that reaction to him.
"I'm not going to deny it, I find you extremely attractive...but..." he groaned as it pushed the hide upward, letting there be no mistake that he was aroused.
"But what?" I asked, completely hidden from the shoulders down under the furry hide. I was afraid of my response to his comment. Why SHOULD I even care what he thought of me? It didn't make sense!
"You're just a kid. I'm a good 10 or 15 years older than you...and damn it, you've got me as hard as a pond in January! It's just damned disgusting!"
I snapped back, "What the heck is that supposed to mean? You somehow think that just because I'm younger, that I can't be satisfying to an old fart like you?" I tightened my jaw and slugged him as hard as I could on the arm, the motion causing my breasts to sway. "Frankly, I wouldn't let you near me with a ten foot pole.
You're the idiot sporting the penis, if it's hard, that's your own damn fault!"
"My fault?" he growled, "Quit your damn exposing of yourself and maybe I wouldn't get like this!" He pointed to the bulge in the hide.
I leaned back against the log and gave him a dirty glare, "Fine. So it's all my fault, is it?" I pushed down the covers and gave him a good look at my breasts. "There. Now you've seen them, quit fantasizing about them!"
"Shit..." he hissed, rolling his eyes away from me. "If you were only a mite older, I'd take you and put you in your place!"
"What place is that, Kodiak, right here!" I fumed, grabbing his penis from under the blanket. He quickly looked downward as I held him, both of us too shocked for words!
My mind screamed, 'what am I thinking? I'm a young female just past my seventeenth birthday...with an adult male's stiff penis firmly in my grasp!' In an attempt to save face, I gave him a rough pull, trying to show him that even though I may be small, I still had the power.
"Don't!" he exclaimed with a tremble racing through his body. "You don't know what you're doing." To prove my point, I gave him another full tug. His eyes closed, and I watched his jaw flex slightly. Then, before I knew it, he pushed my hand away. I took it as though I was being attacked and threw myself at him. In our struggle I found myself upon his lap. In his own defense, he grabbed my shoulders and tried to push me back. Our struggle caused his engorged penis to enter my body ever so slightly! We both stopped moving instantly, afraid that any movement, one-way or another, would cause a reaction that neither wanted!
"Don't move!" he grimaced. "What the heck are you thinking, Lauren?"
"I...I was excited about the power I held over you. I didn't intend for this to happen!"
"Get up slowly...carefully," he stammered, sweat beading his brow.
"Ri...right." I tried to draw a foot under myself, as I planted the weight, I could feel myself slipping. "Oh, no!"
In an instant, my leg went forward causing me to fall backward onto him, forcing his penis deeper into me!
"Are you intentionally this accident prone, or does it come to you naturally?" The look on his face was of both shock and amazement.
"Don't you dare do anything!" I cried as I cringed, one leg straight out, the other was locked under his hip in an awkward position.
Ever since this transformation had happened to me, I've been denying that my body was female. Now there could be no doubt...slowly, under the weight of my own body, I could feel myself sliding down onto Kodiak. Deeper and deeper he penetrated me with his penis, as a result of my stupid feminine lubrication. Down I slid, until I was seated at his penis' powerful base.
"Dear God, don't move!" I pleaded.
"Tell me about it! I'm buried into you all the damn way, and it's all your fault!"
"I'll just pull up. I can do it quickly enough!" I said hopefully.
"I'm too near! Don't you dare move!" He winced slightly, as if he was trying to concentrate upon controlling himself. "One move could place both of us in a position that one of us ain't going to be happy being in. So...unless you want a child, DON'T MOVE!"
"I don't want to become pregnant...I...I don't want a baby!" I cried, trying to hold myself up upon my one knee. "Maybe if we can hold like this long enough, you'll go down and nothing will happen!"
"Easier said than done! It's been years since I've been alone with a female...in this way! You go moving around too much and I won't be able to prevent myself from parking my seed!" He placed his hands upon my elbows, holding me from any further movement. We sat like that for what seemed like hours, like some erotic sculpture in a museum somewhere in France.
I could feel his hand slipping, "You're losing your grip!" I whispered, panic-stricken.
All at once, his hand fell onto my breast causing him to open his eyes. I fell forward, both hands swung outward beside his head, catching myself only inches from his face. "Just great," I sighed.
"You okay?" he asked, his hands now resting upon my breasts, trapping them between our bodies.
"You still holding it?" I asked, hopeful that he hadn't expelled into me.
"Yeah, maybe you're right...try and quickly get off of me. I'll see if I can hold out that long." He looked overhead, staring into the trees for concentration. As I began working my leg from under him, I felt a strange little quiver in my stomach. It was a pleasurable feeling that seemed to be concentrating between my breasts and groin. Another movement of my leg and it did it again, this time making me gasp.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "Hurry up and get off of me!"
Again I moved slightly and it was as though all hell broke loose. The feeling raced throughout my body, causing my breath to be crushed from within. I fell forward onto my elbows, my lips forced into Kodiak's. Again the strange feeling coursed through my extremities, maintaining focus deep within my loins.
I couldn't even begin to deny what the strange little pulses were doing to me; each one was stronger than the last, growing and building until I could no longer control my strange actions. I began to shake uncontrollably, and the results caused an enormous effect on Kodiak.
"Get up! Get up QUICKLY!!" he urged.
My hips rotated slightly forward, and then returned again. It began as a slight, almost nonexistent movement, and then grew with tiny intervals until I found myself rocking slowly, almost uncontrollably upon his penetrating organ. What was causing this reaction of mine? Why could I no longer force myself away from him?
I could feel Kodiak's large hands move to my back, as my legs fell to each side of his hips. Faster and faster I felt my hips shift until I was grunting softly in his ear. Panting and trembling I laid my head upon his huge chest. The rocking continued for only a few more seconds, I felt Kodiak's back shake and he began to softly gasp. Even before I realized what was happening, he began to send his seed deeply into my womb! Again and again I felt him expel his life-giving contents into me. Finally, he grew still, only a spasm or two reminding me of what had just happened.
"Now we did it," he sighed. I raised myself up slowly, with him still buried deeply inside of me. I didn't want to move, because I was too afraid and confused to climb off. "What were you thinking?" he asked, stunned.
I watched my tear fall onto his chest. I wiped it away, "I...I...don't know what came over me!" I cried. "I...was trying to climb off and then...my body just seemed to take over."
I carefully removed myself from his chest and sat back down, drawing the hide over my body. "I...I'm so sorry."
He sat quietly for several minutes. "Do you realize just how much trouble you could've just gotten me into?"
"You?" I gasped. "I could become pregnant from what you just did to me!"
"Now wait a cotton picking minute here! If you remember, you went all crazy on me and were the one who initiated all of this into happening!" he scolded. "I was the one who was trying to get you to stop!"
"You could have pushed me away!" I shot back.
"And have you getting hurt on me! Not on your life!" He folded his arms against his broad chest and glared back.
Again we both grew quiet, the minutes slowly rolled by. Finally I spoke without looking up at him, "It...that was my first time you know...as well...anything."
Kodiak only grunted his response, I continued. "Maybe we didn't do it right..."
He laughed. "Lauren, there are only a few natural ways of doing what we just did...it was right. What happened...happened."
"When will we know?" I asked innocently. "Will it be soon?"
"Soon enough!" he sighed. "If you become in the family way, we'll probably know in the next few weeks. When my own Ma had my little brother, she put two and two together when she begun missing her monthly cycles. Then, she knew for sure when she was spewing almost each and every morning. That lasted for a few weeks until finally settling down. She didn't really show, but Pappy didn't have a clue until she told him that she was pregnant. Ma knew first, seems like the women folk usually do...so I'd guess you'll know if you're pregnant long before I ever will."
"What will happen to me now?" I cried.
"I'm not one that cuts and runs at the first sign of trouble! You'll stay until we know for sure one way or another!" He quickly glanced at me then he looked away.
"And if I don't get pregnant?" I whispered.
"We'll count our blessings and move on." His response was soft and caring.
I swallowed hard, "And if I do find out that I'm pregnant?"
He sighed deeply, "Same as before...we'll count our blessings and move on."
His words were vaguely reassuring. We both grew quiet for several more minutes, each deep in thought as to what had just happened. Finally, Kodiak gave me a nervous smile. "What will we tell everyone if we do find out that you're pregnant?"
I shrugged, still in shock with what I had just done. "If...if I am, I don't want the child to know."
"Know?" He wondered aloud, "Know whether it was conceived out of wedlock or that the whole blooming thing was some type of bizarre accident!"
"I..I guess both..." I stammered.
Again he grew quiet for a long period of time, "Well then, if that happens...I guess you'll be staying here on my mountain, but...as my wife." I turned to look at him in complete shock, but he held his hand out as if to prevent my speaking of it further as he continued. "I'm not going to push a kid of mine away and into an orphanage like what had happened to that other gal that ended up here last year! I sure as hell ain't going to dump it off like your folks did you...I ain't never going to let something like that happen to a kid of mine!"
Again the silence between us grew deafening. Finally, Kodiak blew his breath out slowly. "I'd be a liar if I said that what just happened between us, was an unpleasant experience for me." Again I looked up at him, "It's true. Accident or not, any guy would give his eye teeth to have a chance at a beauty such as yourself." He swallowed slowly, "Th...thank you...I guess."
I caught myself staring intently into the glowing coals of the fire, "I...I think I understand. It was strangely the same for me too."
He immediately stared at me, and I could feel his gaze upon my face. "I can't understand what I did, let alone how I did it...but deep down, somewhere inside of me, I found a strange sense of enjoyment from what happened!"
He looked down at the hide. "I know I'm a big guy and all, but...uh...please tell me that I didn't hurt you too much."
I could feel my face grow warm; I was sure that it was red. "No - nothing happened that was unpleasant."
He nodded and rubbed his large hand over his beard. "It isn't going to bug you that you could be stuck with an 'old fart' like me?"
I closed my eyes and shook my head, "No...I don't think so, I knew a man in town who was married to a younger girl. Who would have thought that I'd ever be that young girl...damn." I sat quietly for a few minutes. "Does our age difference bug you?"
He smiled. "As I said before, most guys my age would give their eye teeth to have a young, pretty wife! Besides, I can shave off my beard to make me look a mite younger. And Lauren, if you and I do get hitched, I promise that I won't do anything unless you want it."
I felt like crying, but nodded and whispered, "Thank you, Kodiak."
Chapter 7
We returned to the cabin the very next morning; our ordeal had driven much of my 'sass' from my body. What I had been through reminded me that I never really had control at all, even though I had originally thought I held some kind of 'power' over Kodiak.
I felt broken; I knew that my spirit had been dealt a major blow. I had been transformed into a woman, and been forced to dress like one. Even the feminine response of my new sex was now something that I possessed, although it was performed like some Goony Bird's landing. That was the one thing that I couldn't lay claim to, and I never really wanted to be able to lay a claim to graceful sex with a man. No, I didn't care for that to ever happen to me again as long as I could help it!
For more than a month I waited for the other shoe to drop. I kept questioning myself each morning as to whether I felt anything at all. Each time I responded to myself that I felt completely fine.
"Maybe I'm not pregnant after all," I told Kodiak.
He nodded. "Could be. I'd give it a couple more weeks, though."
He was right - I'd better not get my hopes up too much. I imagined that with other women, pregnancies could each be as different as the females that had them. I only knew that I wanted to be neither one...female or pregnant.
For a change, I was up early and readying the coffee for Kodiak. There was a December chill in the air as he lumbered down the steep stairs and took my offered cup. "Thanks," he groaned sleepily.
"What are you planning on doing today?" I asked as I began kneading the dough I had prepared while the coffee was on. I had decided to just settle in and help; being a woman regulated the chores that had now become mine in our strange relationship.
Almost three full months had passed, and I didn't remember having any of the seasonal bleeding that I always thought came with pregnancy. Being a woman was entirely confusing, my bleeding or lack of it, left me feel slightly reassured that I wasn't ill, but still didn't answer the questions I had. Since I seemed to feel healthy enough now, I simply assumed I wasn't with child.
I was still too embarrassed about what had happened between us to say anything to Kodiak, and we avoided the issue altogether. Sometimes I wished that there was another woman upon Kodiak's mountain. A seasoned female who I could take my questions to, a woman who could let me know if I was or wasn't pregnant. I cringed, recalling that I had just used the term 'another woman' in my thoughts, almost admitting to myself that I had been changed and was most likely stuck like this forever. I looked down at the floor, sadness filling my thoughts until Kodiak spoke.
He yawned and picked at some cornbread from last night. "Well..." he began as he rubbed his smooth face; shaving off his beard had removed several years from him. He had promised he would shave his beard so that he would appear younger...in the event that I did find I was in "the family way". What had possessed him to shave anyway was beyond me. Yet, I thought to myself that he looked much more handsome, without the wild beard that once grew there. "I'll...uh... be checking my traps. The weather's holding out...but that won't last long, I figure."
I smiled, "You won't mind it then, if I don't go along?"
He laughed and shook his head. "No, that's fine...it'll be safer that way. I should be back before dark." He slowly stood and downed the last of his coffee, then returned his cup to the table. He then placed several pieces of cornbread into a linen cloth and headed for the door. "Be careful, I'll see you when I get back."
"You be careful too!" I replied as he closed the door. When the room grew silent, I sighed deeply and continued to work the dough.
After several hours, it had risen enough and was now in the oven baking. While it had been rising, I busied myself with a few other chores. One of them was with a few items of clothing that needed repairing. Seeking out a needle and thread, I began my mending. Over the course of the last several weeks, I had taught myself to sew. It wasn't a chore that I cared for, but it proved to be necessary, and was a great task to take my mind off of other matters.
I sat quietly sewing in Kodiak's rocker, humming a tune that I remembered from childhood. Glancing out of the window at the cold landscape I shuddered from the chill, thankful that I at least had a roof over my head. In the small room, the scent of the baking bread permeated the cabin and was smelling wonderful.
After repairing two of Kodiak's huge shirts, I began to mend one of the many everyday dresses that I had been forced to wear since I arrived. After I made a few stitches on the side seam, the dress was repaired.
I worked throughout the day, only stopping to keep after my baking. Thankfully, my second batch was now in the oven. As I was returning to my clothing pile, I picked up the mended items and began folding them. One by one I continued until I had two separate piles...one his...one my own.
After placing each folded pile on the bed, I was struck at how many dresses were actually in my pile. As I thought back to the mending I slowly returned to the dwindling stack of those still needing repair and picked up the next one. It too was another dress that Kodiak had given me to wear; again a seam had loosened and it needed repair.
I felt my eyes being drawn back to the pile on the bed, then again to what I held in my lap. Slowly I felt at one of the seams on the dress I was currently wearing. "Oh...shit!" I whispered.
Even the seams on the dress I was currently wearing were giving way! "Oh, God. Please don't tell me!" I pushed the sewing off of my lap and onto the floor, in a panic I began to pull off the dress. Within several minutes, I stood in the cabin wearing only my underclothes, shaking with fear at what I was realizing.
"Strained seams..." I whispered aloud, "...that means I've been getting larger in the middle. But that's silly, I haven't gotten bigger anywhere else..." Panic slowly began to bubble in my mind as I felt the surface of my belly with a trembling hand, "I...I can't be...pr...pregnant," I sobbed softly. "Where were my warnings?" I cried. "I thought I was supposed to have morning sickness or some such thing?"
I fell onto the bed and cried as I have never cried before. Kodiak's comment about a woman being the first to know came rushing back into my mind like a runaway train. I was doomed, stuck in this body...and now I was certain that I was pregnant!
Chapter 8
Kodiak walked in as the shadows outside grew long. I was sitting at the rocker while potato soup sat bubbling in the pot on the stove. "Smells pretty tasty." He crossed to the wall of pegs where he took off his thick coat. "Is this potato soup that I'm smelling?" He took a quick peek into the pan as he walked back toward me.
He paused, a concerned washed through his voice as he studied me. "You okay?"
My hand trembled as I wiped a tear from my cheek, "I'm pregnant!" I said with a finality that was much like a door closing. "You said that I'd know...well...I know."
He knelt beside the rocker, engulfing my tiny hand with his own. "Is it that bad?"
"I...I'm scared, I'm really scared!" I sputtered, and then I began to bawl. He hugged me and rubbed my back tenderly.
"I'm here, I'll help you." His voice was soft, filled with kindness and concern.
"I know...I know you will, but it doesn't make all of this any easier." I wiped away another tear. "I know nothing of being a mother; I barely even knew my own mother."
I gently pulled my hand from his and stood up. He followed, standing to his full height and towering over me. Kodiak gathered me in a hug as I began to sob into his chest, while he silently caressed my back with his huge hand. After several minutes, I pushed away and took a deep breath. "Come on, supper's going to be ruined if we don't eat."
He stood watching me and then slowly followed me to the table, "You take a seat. You've got enough to think about without waiting on me," he whispered with emotion as he pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit down. I said nothing as I watched him set the pot of soup on the trivet in the middle of the table.
"The bread," I softly managed to say.
He sat down and slowly slid his hand over to mine, "I'd be lying if I didn't say that I'm tore by the news. Part of me wants to scream it to the rafters...part of me is desperately embarrassed...part just..."
I looked at his hand; his thumb was stroking the back of my own. "Part just wants to hold you...and somehow make this all better."
My voice became no louder than a whisper, ragged with emotion and fear. "What will we do?"
"Lauren," he said as I was wiping the tears away with my free hand. "Lauren," he repeated louder until I looked him squarely in the eye. "We'll do all right. You'll see."
I stared at the bowl before me, wiping away the tears that collected in the corner of my eyes. "Where were the signs I was supposed to get? I thought women were supposed to get nauseous when they were pregnant?"
"Are you completely sure you're pregnant? When did your monthly cycle stop?" Kodiak asked, trying I assumed, to figure out how far along I was.
"Stop?" I gave him a quick glance. "I thought they started WHEN you were pregnant?"
"You have been having a woman's cycles, haven't you?" He raised his eyebrows in concern.
"I did have them right after I came here to the mountain, but they were sort of spotty and I really didn't know much about them." It embarrassed me to be talking of something that had to do with my body. Under the circumstances though, I felt it was warranted. "They stopped right around the time when we went to check your traps."
"And you haven't had them since then?" He rubbed his chin, and looked at the floor.
"Just after that...not since early fall...why?" I was hopeful that he knew more than I and I wasn't truly pregnant.
"If you were older and a might more seasoned, that would have been your first clue. That's one of them signs that women folk are always looking for. If your monthly cycle stops…most likely you're pregnant. I just keep forgetting you never had a mother around you to teach all of those girly things."
Those words rang out like a bell, reverberating inside my head over and over. "My signs...I'm supposed to bleed, regular...every month? You...you didn't tell me that!"
"I didn't know how much you knew...or didn't know about YOUR OWN body! You're young; sometimes I hear that young women don't have a regular cycle...damn...pregnant." His frown slowly began to turn into a smile. "We're pregnant! I'm going to be a daddy?"
He could smile, but for me, my entire world was crashing down around my ears. Try as I might, I couldn't hide the fear and anguish that enveloped me. I gently removed my hand from his tender grasp and pulled it back to my lap, "We...we best be eating...before it gets cold."
The Homestead / Kodiak - Book 2 - Part 3
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Chapter 9
January snow blew hard against the cabin, building a thick blanket over the mountain, covering it in white. Kodiak had left the cabin and was heading to the smokehouse for meat that had been cured late in the fall. It was unmistakable that I was pregnant; there was no way to doubt the fact that our kicking child was growing inside of me.
Kodiak had become quite the caretaker of me. He wouldn't allow me to do anything physical. Though we had been forced to sleep in the same bed, only to stay warm...he never once had done anything to take advantage of our predicament...though, why would it matter now. I waited at the kitchen window for him to return, slowly sipping on my coffee. I too had grown accustomed to the fact that I would be a mother, slowly warming up to the undeniable truth that it would happen whether I liked it or not.
I heard a bang against the door and decided that Kodiak had his arms full and was trying to get me to open it up for him. I opened it to swirling snow...nobody was there. I stuck my head outside, "Kodiak?"
Nothing. I returned into the room and pulled down my thick winter shawl, throwing it around my shoulders. Once again I returned to the door and peered out, "Kodiak?" I shouted over the stiff wind.
Still no one answered. I stepped out and stood on the little porch and again shouted as loud as I could to be heard over the icy blast. "KODIAK?" Slowly I worked my way to the corner of the cabin and began to walk toward the smokehouse where he had said he would be.
I saw him finally pop the door open, "WHAT?" I stopped and smiled. "WHAT'S WRONG?" He shouted over the wind.
"Nothing, I was just worried!" I smiled and slowly started to turn back toward the house.
Suddenly, even before I could face the cabin, I heard a huge cracking sound.
"LAUREN!!!" came the shout from behind me, swallowed in the wind.
As I turned, looking over my shoulder, I saw a great fear in his eyes as he started racing toward me. When I followed his gaze, my heart fell into my feet. A towering pine was slowly twisting toward me in its spiraling fall in the wind, broken by the weight of the snow.
Everything immediately went dark.
Chapter 10
It seemed as if I was out for only a second or two as Kodiak scrambled through the twisted branches to me. "Oh God...oh God!" he cried. I was completely dazed, unable to keep my eyes open for any great length of time.
He stepped over me and grasped the trunk of the pine, pushing branches from his way. "God no...please no!" he gasped through his tears. Even though my eyes were dazed, it seemed as if he had the strength of a dozen men, as he literally lifted the tree off and pushed it almost three full feet with his powerful legs. Then facing away from the pine, shoved it another several feet using only his back and legs. As soon as he had it off of me, he scrambled to my side.
"No...please no!" he cried again as he gathered me up in his arms. "Don't let this happen now, God!"
He carried me as he raced toward the house where he pushed aside the door and carried me to the bed, where he laid me down. He returned to the door and closed it, tossing his coat on a chair as he ran past.
I was in great pain. It felt as though my whole body was on fire. Kodiak removed my shoes and quickly began tearing my clothing from me. "Can you hear me?" he cried.
I nodded, "Wha...what happened?" I asked, but remembered the falling tree. "Are you okay?" I whispered, seeing the concern on his handsome face.
"I'm fine...it's you and the baby that I'm worried about!" He did a quick inspection of my extremities. "Anything broken?"
I concentrated hard, slowly moving each limb and testing them. "No...I don't think anything's broken." He lowered his head and cried as he kissed my hand, then finally he sat up and reached for my belly.
Caressing the swell of my stomach he asked, "Our baby...do you think it's okay?"
I gently placed my hand on his, "I hope so..." But deep down I was afraid that something horrible had just happened. It was something that I was afraid to even think about, let alone speak aloud.
Chapter 11
Within the week, our greatest fears came to pass. While Kodiak was away, I miscarried. I lay on the bed crying as I held our son's lifeless body, perfectly formed, yet so tiny. Slowly, I cleaned up myself. Then I turned to the task of our little boy, bawling for the child who would never come to know his mother or father.
As I wrapped him in a blanket, Kodiak entered. "What you got there?"
I began to cry, falling to my knees beside the bed. Instantly he was beside me. "Our son. I...I miscarried. He...he was stillborn." I tried to fight through my tears, but it became worse when I could see his eyes glass over too.
"I'll take him...bury him a proper grave," he choked out his words.
For the rest of the afternoon he scraped the snow and ice away from the ground. Using a pickaxe he dug our son a small grave. By evening, he was buried...and we were alone.
In tears I stood at the window, staring at the small hand-made cross that marked Ephraim's grave. I cried and I cried and I cried. He had been named for Kodiak's grandfather, and it seemed proper that he should have a name even though he would never really know it. Come spring, Kodiak had promised me that Ephraim would have a proper stone marker, and I could plant flowers in that area...little comfort that would be.
I lowered my head and cried into my apron, sinking to the floor. It was the same, just like I've done for the past month and a half. Each and every single day. "When will you take the pain away, God?" I whispered through my tears.
Chapter 12
Spring on the mountain came early. With spring came hope and change. Yet, I still grieved for Ephraim and would go to his grave often; even though the pain never really left...it just became easier to bear. Kodiak had been gone for two days, hunting in the valley with a friend from town named Quin. Apparently, they had arranged it long ago, meeting just after the snows melted away each year thereafter.
I had just finished sweeping out the kitchen, gathered my shawl and moved onto the porch. With Kodiak's handmade broom, I pushed the dust into a pile and transported it to the edge of the field.
As I turned, I caught sight of a tiny yellow flower growing near Ephraim's grave. Slowly walking toward it, I placed the broom against the tree. I had seen flowers like this one before but never had I seen one away from the city. I gently touched its soft petals, taking care to not harm it. Not ten feet away was the grave of our son.
I decided at that moment that this beautiful flower should be moved to Ephraim's grave, where it could grow and hopefully spread cheer to all who should see it. There was also another motive for moving the pretty flower - I had become so afraid that I would lose the location where he had been buried. Kodiak had yet to make a proper marker and for now, the flower would help me locate it if the woods reclaimed this area once again.
I quickly gathered my broom and returned it to the porch, and then I immediately went to Kodiak's tool shed where I found a spade. Once again I stood before the delicate yellow bloom. Carefully, I dug around it to gently remove it from its home, keeping a good size clump of soil so that the roots wouldn't be harmed. Within an hour, I was pressing the soil by its base with my fingers.
I began to think as I pressed down on that soil. This flower was a lot like me, alone, dainty, and beautiful. I realized that I was stuck in this shell I'd been given, left to fend for myself. I had no hope of ever going back to what had once been. I too knew that I was pretty, even though it loathed me to admit it...and just like that beautiful flower, I had my place and for better or worse, it was here. Leaning back I admired its yellow bloom. "You know, someday I'll plant others just like you around this place..."
I realized then, that this flower needed more just like itself, many to become the beautiful blanket for Ephraim that I had imagined...and just like me, I would need others surrounding me, completing the life that I was destined to live...my start was here with Ephraim and Kodiak. I had lost Ephraim to death, and I realized that I cared for Kodiak so much that I would die for him...and without him.
I stood and brushed myself off, turning when I heard a noise coming through the woods. It was Kodiak and another man leading a big bay horse. Upon the horses back, lay a decent-sized deer. Kodiak picked his way toward me, leaving the other man lead the horse toward the smokehouse.
"Hi, Lauren," he said with a smile.
I ran my hand through my hair and pointed toward Ephraim's grave. "I found a plant with pretty yellow blooms; I hope it was okay to move it here."
He smiled, gently brushing dirt from my cheek. "It was some my Samantha brought from out east, I'm sure she'd approve of where you planted it." He pulled his hat down from his head and stared at me for almost a full minute. "How you a'holden up?"
I gave him a short nod. "I'm doing fine...planting that flower felt like one of the most important things I've done in awhile." I looked toward the smokehouse and the man who was waiting patiently there. "Is that your friend from town?"
"Yeah, that's Quin. He's a good kid." As we started to walk in that direction, I picked up the spade from where I had left it. Kodiak promptly took it from me and...I let him.
"I'll introduce you as soon as we get this button buck hung." I slowly headed toward the house, watching Kodiak and Quin untie the deer.
"No sense in watching them!" I said to myself as I returned to the house and began to prepare lunch for the three of us. I pulled Kodiak's heavy iron skillet down from its hook on the wall and set it on the top of the stove. After getting a small fire going inside, I scooped a small amount of bacon grease into the skilled to melt. While that melted, I fixed up a fresh pot of coffee.
I had figured that Kodiak would be home sometime today, so in preparation, I brought a few ham steaks in from the smoke house early that morning. I hadn't planned on Quin coming with him, though, so I had to stretch our meal slightly.
After the ham steaks had been cooked, I cubed potatoes, onions and a couple of eggs into the heavy skillet. With the ham, potatoes and some biscuits I made yesterday...we'd do just fine. When everything was close to being ready, I threw on my shawl and hurried across the yard to where the men were working.
They were cleaning their knives from a bucket, huge chunks of meat hung from hooks suspended from beams. Both men looked up as I opened the door.
"Lunch is on," I said quickly.
"Quin, this here's my misses, Lauren." Kodiak indicated with a nod of his head, "Lauren, this is my good friend, Quin."
"Please to meet you, ma'am," Quin said smiling, "I'd shake your hand but..." He glanced down at the blood on them from the deer.
"I understand." I smiled, "I'm glad you can stay and have lunch with us!"
"So am I," Kodiak said as he laid his clean knives on the table, "Lauren here is a pretty good cook."
I laughed with embarrassment and rolled my eyes as I closed the door, returning to the house. Once inside, I re-hung my shawl and pulled down three plates. I quickly pushed a thick steak onto each of their plates, the smaller one on mine. Beside it, I placed a generous portion of potatoes.
I tossed a few biscuits into a bowl and placed silverware beside each plate. The door opened and both men walked in. Each was quite tall in his own right, and quite handsome, but Kodiak was a mountain compared to Quin. I glanced up from pouring the coffee, "Kodiak, I need a ball of butter from the shed."
He never even spoke as he gathered a teacup from a hook on the shelf. He held up a finger and pointed toward the door, quickly following it out in a very boyish way that caused Quin and me to laugh.
"That husband of yours is sure a goof," he laughed, hanging his hat on one of our hooks."
"That he is, Quin," I said, still laughing.
"So...uh...where does everyone sit?" I pointed for Quin to sit at my usual place, opposite Kodiak. Today, I would sit beside my husband, for that was who he was. I felt pride in finally admitting it to myself.
Not more than a minute passed, when Kodiak came back inside. He handed the cup full of butter to me, and then came around to assist me in my chair. "Smells really good," he commented as he pushed me toward the table, and then took his seat.
"Sure does," piped in Quin. "It's been quite awhile since I had a real good meal inside this cabin." He then mouthed the words to me, He isn't very good; and then jokingly placing his hand beside his mouth on the wrong side, which enabled Kodiak see him.
Kodiak frowned, and then smiled, as he was cutting the thick slice of ham. "Just what did you call the meal I cooked yesterday when we were hunting?"
Quin smiled, and gave me a quick wink. "I'm not sure what you could call it...but I'm pretty sure it wasn't food."
Kodiak looked at me, and pointed his fork at Quin, "Ya see what I have to put up with?"
I laughed at his comment, knowing full well that the two were very good friends and would lay their own life down for the other in an instant. You could see that friendship, I was very thankful he had a good friend like Quin.
The two of them kept at each other through most of the meal, trading barbs back and forth the whole time. By the end, my face and stomach hurt from laughing.
After supper, I began to busy myself cleaning up the dishes, while Kodiak and Quin moved to the porch and sat down. Quin quietly snapped a twig into smaller pieces, throwing each tiny piece off the porch as he talked. "Kodiak?"
"Yeah." The big man as he propped his feet on a small stack of wood.
"You been down near my Grandfather's old homestead lately?" He made the motion of tossing, but through the kitchen curtains, I could see nothing leave his hand.
"Not since just before winter...why?" Kodiak looked across, because his friend seemed troubled.
He glanced down at the twig he just broke. "There was this scrawny kid that came into Grandpa's store awhile back, he was buying supplies." Again he tossed the small portion. "He implied that he was living with his mother outside of town. Funny thing is...I dragged a girl out of my granddad's pond just a few days ago, she had almost drowned. The girl and boy are the same."
"You trying to say that the girl became the boy?" he asked, and then looked directly toward the window that I was working behind. I touched my lips, wondering if whatever happened to me, happened to her.
Quin laughed. "No, I don't think so...but, for whatever reason she was just dressing as a boy. She's been calling herself, Sam."
Kodiak began laughing, "Sam...Samantha! Ha! She's the little gal I took down from my mountain just last spring! So, she's the one who's been hiding out at your grandpa's homestead? I wonder how she stayed hidden from you since then?"
"I'm not sure. She probably been living off the land for the most part, but to stay out there alone, must have sure been hell for her!" Quin brushed his hands, "That old home of Grandpa's is pretty sound, it should have stayed warm providing a person had enough to burn on those early cool April and May evenings."
"It sure can get downright cold even in the early spring!" Kodiak agreed. "Seen it snow a time or two in early May- below the mountain, even as low as the valley. We had a March thaw up here, when I took her down to the bottom of the mountain. I even pointed out the direction of the town and figured she'd be heading that way when I left her." He laughed, "Apparently, she didn't go there and headed toward your Grandfather's old homestead instead."
"Question is, was she cutting firewood, or just finding limbs and such lying around?" Kodiak wondered aloud.
"There had been a good pile that was already there, but I doubt it if there was enough to last all that time, she'd have to burn just about whatever she could find to stay warm." He yawned and stretched, "Most likely is why we're missing rails on our corral and other pens. She was using them as firewood! Sam must have used Grandpa's old cross-cut saw to cut it into length."
"What you going to do with her? Ask her to leave?" He laughed as he knew that Quin didn't have it in him to tell a girl to go. "As I recall, she was pretty easy on the eyes...but a bit loopy for my taste. I didn't really get into sparking young gals until Lauren came, now...well, she wasn't that keen on me at first...but I've grown on her." His comment caused me to smile, I laughed as I began to dry our dishes and put them carefully away as I eavesdropped.
Quin gave him an uneasy glance, as if he had a question that he wanted to ask but couldn't figure out how to word it. Finally, from his body language, I decided that he had given up asking it all together. I pulled down two of Kodiak's best cups and filled them with coffee that had just finished.
I took their lull in conversation, at that moment to step out onto the porch; both men looked up at me. In my hands I held the two steaming cups of coffee. "Brought you something, figured with as much talking as you two are doing...you'd be a might thirsty."
From that point on, the conversation turned to weather, hunting, trapping, Quin's grandfather and the town. How I wished they would have continued to talk about the girl, I'd have loved to know more about her...but it wasn't meant to be. So, as evening slowly arrived on our mountain, Quin had said his goodbyes and left for home.
Chapter 13
We were settling down for the night and I was returning from the privy with the lantern. Kodiak was sitting in his rocker softly humming to himself when I walked in.
"Lauren...thanks," he said.
I paused, setting the lantern on the table. "Thanks? For what?" I asked, unsure of what I was being thanked for.
"Thanks for just being you..." he said, glancing up at me. "...and thanks for treating my friend Quin so nice."
"He thinks a lot of you," I said as I hung up my shawl.
"He thinks a lot of you too!" he said softly, as if something was troubling him.
"Why the concern?" I asked as I returned to the rocker. "Is there something you're not telling me?"
"Well...I got to thinking. You and Quin are about the same age and all, maybe you should have married someone closer to your own age...like Quin."
I pointed my finger at him and scolded, "Now just a minute, mister! First of all, he already knows that we are married, you told him that! Secondly, it sounded to me like he already has designs on the girl staying at his grandfather's and besides, Kodiak, you aren't going to push me away just to get rid of me!"
He looked up at me quickly. "Is that what you think? I'm trying to be rid of you?" He was confused and looked away. "That's the last thing I want to do...I was just saying if you wanted..."
I sat down on the arm of the chair, put my hands on his cheeks and turned his face to mine. "There's a small part of both of us on this little patch of earth, and when he passed, that part was buried out there in the ground...and I'm never leaving him. Ever!" Kodiak remained quiet and gently took my hands into his own. "His father and mother didn't choose to be thrown together on this mountain...it just happened." I looked down at his hand as he held mine. "It happened, and at the time I was confused, but I'm okay with it now...should it ever happen again."
I really wasn't looking directly at Kodiak, but rather felt his gaze settle on me. "Do you realize what you're saying?" He asked.
I smiled. "I know exactly what I'm saying...and I'm okay with it now." Turning toward him I laid my head upon his big shoulder, and then he pulled me into his lap and held me. "Somewhere along the way, I found that I love you, Kodiak...and I would be lost without you!" I gave him a great hug and sat with my head cradled near his neck.
I felt his chest quiver, I knew he was crying. He couldn't say anything at the moment, but returned his love with a tender hug.
After an hour of our cuddling, I eased myself from his lap and took him by the hand. "Let's go on to bed."
He rose to his feet and plodded to the bed where he removed his shoes. I crawled in behind him and slipped under the covers. Kodiak slid down his suspender straps and removed his shirt. Standing up, he let his pants drop to the floor. As he was about to climb under the covers he realized that I was completely naked. "Lauren? You sure about this?"
I smiled and laid my head on his pillow, gently smoothing the sheet where I wanted him to lay. "I'm ready now...it's been almost five months."
Kodiak began to remove his long underwear, "I ain't trying to force you into anything..."
"I know what I'm doing," I stated as he crawled under the cover, completely naked.
He laid his head down and I leaned upon his thick chest, my smooth thigh laying over his. "I want to do this the right way, Kodiak," I said as I gently began to caress him.
"So...you don't want a repeat of the last time?" He held my face and smiled, "Well, what you're doing seems to be working."
I kissed his chest as he ran his huge hand from my shoulder to the small of my back. After a moment of hesitation, he continued until his hand was resting on my smooth, rounded bottom. His penis was completely stiff, rising out of him like some grand oak. I leaned over and kissed him deeply, and his male smell was driving me insane with desire.
Laying my head on his shoulder, I whispered, "Make love to me."
Gently he rolled me to my back and straddled my hips; one at a time I moved my own to the outside of his. He held himself above me, supported on his knees with his hands on each side of my shoulders. "You sure about this?"
I nodded. "More than ever, Kodiak. I've spent too much time looking backward, not realizing what I have right here...with you. I owe you so much and I want to spend the rest of our lives showing you how much you mean to me." I reached downward and gently guided him toward my feminine opening.
"I don't want you doing this just because you feel like you owe me." He paused, waiting for my answer.
I kissed Kodiak, his lips were surprisingly soft. "I know you love me...and even though I've been denying it since that day under the hide, I realized today that I'd never be truly happy without you in my life...as a part of my life. I love you, Kodiak."
His eyes glassed over as I slowly moved my legs higher, wrapping them as far as I could around his torso. We couldn't take our eyes off each other as he pushed forward, filling me with his manliness.
Each thrust from him sent me further and further over the edge, like I was caught up in a whirlwind! My mind swam; I could feel the power of his body in each push, like a lion, the muscles in his back gathering for the next. I felt so small laying under my husband, yet felt as completely a woman as I'd ever been! I wanted him to complete me once again. I wanted him to send me into the oblivion that I had felt on that day Ephraim was conceived. I wanted to know how motherhood felt once again, to feel our child growing inside of my womb! I wanted to carry his child once again.
I became lost in the moment, my mind flooded by rapture and bliss! So powerful was the passionate feeling washing through me that I couldn't control myself any longer! I began matching his thrusts with my own, timing them to give pleasure to us both. He closed his eyes and shuddered, a soft grunt came from his throat. I on the other hand was beyond human; I had become some beast, wanting nothing more than to become what my mate wanted of me! My breath was so full of desire that it was expelled in one huge sigh, seeming to leave my throat like steam from a train's whistle.
Inside of my body, I could feel his seed coursing its way into my womb, racing to overwhelm my egg with an onslaught not seen since the rains which crashed against the ark's side, lifting it upward for it's journey to the mountain. Again I felt him shudder, pumping even more into my waiting femininity. I was his now...forever more and always.
Chapter 14 - Epilogue
Kodiak walked into the house and stamped the snow from his feet, "Sure is a pretty day for a ride!"
I looked at Kodiak from my book and smiled. At forty-seven, the gray was settling into his hair thicker now, almost turning it salt and peppered in the process. I was thankful that I still had enough darkness in my own hair to keep me from looking like an old woman. It would have been hard for anyone to mistake me for an old woman; I was just inside my mid thirties...and still could hold the eye of my handsome husband.
He smiled as he caught me looking at him, "What?"
"Did you talk to them?" I nodded toward the door.
"The boys? Sure." He hung his hat up and followed it with his thick coat. "I told Robert and James what we expected from them."
"Did they take the wagon?" I asked.
"No. I let them take the sleigh." He smiled and sat down in his rocker, "Bells and all..." He laughed as I frowned. "They won't get cold either...the boys took those soft bear hides we had."
"Aren't you afraid that the sleigh is just a mite too cozy? After all, they're riding with Abigail and Cassandra, Quin and Samantha's twin daughters. Quite a lot can happen under bear hides, you remember." I gave him a knowing look, completely sure he knew what I meant.
"They'll be okay, it has two seats and they are staying away from water." he said with a yawn and smiled, running his hand through his wild hair. "Besides, those girls are good girls, so Robert and James will treat them well and be on their best behavior."
I smiled and stood, walking to the window and looking out at the late winter landscape. "I have plans for a passel of grandchildren and I don't want our boys messing that up!"
He gave me a sly glance, "You figuring that it's those girls, and our boys that'll be giving them to you?" He laughed, making a grab for my waist. "Why...you conniving old female."
"Old?" I spun away giggling, but his persistence paid off and he dragged me into his lap. Laughing, I flattened his hair with my fingertips and kissed him. Leaning in, I touched my nose to his, "I wouldn't have it any other way, old man."